Los Angeles herald., 1907-02-18
This Will Help You

Sounds has TO Charms, seek to Pour
out his Blood. The Poet has Beauti-
fully expressed this Thought in the
following Verses:
But bark, from yonder Woodshed Roof
Comes the Feline's Evening Song;
Who dares to say to Heave a ROCK
At such a Time were Wrong?
Or breathes there Man who Listeneth
And in his Bed doth lie,
But longs to Feel within his Grasp
A Rock which he might Shy?'
1t is thought that the Cat is the
Originator of the popular National
Anthem, I'VE Won't Go Home Till
Morning." although this cannot be def
initely established.
Twas Better In Pharaohs Day
In the days when the Inhabitants
of Egypt were kept busy building Pyr-
amids, Sphinxes and Talking Statues
instead of Skinning Tourists the Cat
was very highly Thought of by the
Superstitious Natives Special Priests
were assigned to the worship of the
Cats, and it was considered a Crime to
Tie Can to a Cats Tail. The Civili-
zation of this Later Day has consd-
erably Modified this Superstitious Awe
of the Cat.
In Course of Time, when all the
Pyramids were Built and the King of
Egypt had Nothing Else to Do, he
challenged the King of Persia to hold
& Cat Show, half the Proceeds to go
toward the Establishing of A Conserv-
atory of Music for Cats and the other
half to be Given to the Society for the
Prevention of Muck Raking in the
Royal Temples. With these Worthy
Objects in view the Persian Cats en-
tered into Competition with the Egyp-
tian Cats. The Kino of Egypt insist
ed on naming the Judges. When the
ribbons and special awards were an
nounced it was seen that the King
of Egypt had Made a clean Walk
away of it.
The Persian Scepter Wielder imme-
diately raised Cry of Fraud and ap-
pealed to the Judges for the Honor
of his Kennels, but their Loyalty to
their Employer caused them to Turn
him Down.
AS result they went to War, a
Precedent which has been followed by
losers Ever Since. For a Time the
Egyptian Pharaoh Did things to the
Persian Force, as he Had to their
Cats; but one fatal day the Persian
Ruler became Wise to the Supersti-
| tious awe in which his Opponents held
the Pussy. and arming each Soldier
with a squirming. singing cat, he ad-
Vanced Boldly upon the enemy. They
at once took to Flight, leaving upon
the Field, among other Trophies of
War; Five Hundred Blue Ribbons.
Eighty-three special cups and special
prizes to the number of Twelve Bas-
iets Full.
Among the Mohammedans the cat
had very good standing. The Story
is told that Mohammed, finding a Cat
asleep in the sleeve of his Gown, in
stead of shedding it's Blood, cut off
the sleeve. By many later Commen-
tators on his life this action has been
severely censured. Friendly Biogra-
piers see no possible way of explaining
1t, AND his opponents consider 1t as
Sufficient Evidence of Insanity for his
enemies to have sworn out a Crazy
Complaint at the County Court house.
The Immediate effects of this action
were bad. The absence of a sleeve
debarred its owner from wearing the
gown I'm any but High Society where
Full Dress was allowed. Then, too,
when the Venerable Prophet engaged
in the Mohammedan Version of Poker
that night he had nowhere to slip his
Cards and lost $5,23 to one Of the
lesser monks, as a result of which the
Erring Priest, who had so far For
gotten Himself as to Beat his Su-
perior, was given Penance of Double
Prayers for Twenty-three Weeks.
AS the World grew more Civilized
the condition Of the Cat became less
of a Sinecure. In the age of Chivalry,
when civilization reached its Summit.
it was a common custom to roast a
live Cat in slow oven for Good Luck