Evening journal., 1907-09-13
Personal and Pertinent


'You charged" said the court reading the formal
complaint with having wilfly. feloniousy and with
malice aforethought appropriated TO your and
behoof certain articetO wit vehicle-said vehicle
having been wrongfuy and feonousy distracted by
from the premises of John Doe about the 14th
day of August An1o Domin 1907 contrary TO the statute
in such and provided, and against the peace
and dignity of the people of the state of Illinois What
say you? Are you guilty or not guilty.
I'm not guilty, Jedge' protested the prisoner. "All
done was to steal buggy"-chcago Tribune.
The man who thought he had the inack Of saying
pleasant things calculated to the cookies Of the
Oldest heart was revistng the town in which he had
I'm Miss NJ. 1 don't know that you recall me-" said
eoquettish elderly spinster approaching him in the
postofhce the day after his arrival
The ready heart warmer turned with his most beaming
smile and wrung her hand.
Recall YOU" he echoed, reproachfuly "as if one
could help H. Miss NJ why. you are one of the land
marks OF the town!"--Washi1gton Star.
The bank examiners Of the Treasury Department have
some odd and amusing experiences during their inves-
legations OF country banks
AT small and primitive institution in Kentucky an
examiner found deficiency Of sioo OF course an ex-
PLANTATION demanded
The cashier made brave attempt to look wise Fin
ally he took 500 from private drawer. There
that viii fiN IT," he said
How VIII YOU enter that to make good the baanceg'
The cashier looked hewildered, but finally said he
would not enter il at all
TO make the balance is what can the over
drawer Whenever we're out of balance so outs
sheet shows more cash than ought 70 have the
plus goes to the drawer Funny the city banks never
thought Of that seheme"-Harper's Weekly
young teacher whose efforts to incucate elemen-
tary anatomy had been unusually discouraging
asked 10 despair:
Wen wonder if any boy here tell me what the
She was met by a of blank and rresponsive faces
ul hnaly one small voice piped up great excitement:
The spinal cord is what through you. head
Slts on ons end and you sit ON the other-Rocheser
There is cigar dealer on Baltimore street who used
TO have several comfortable chairs bench in his
store Tor the accommodation Of those OF his patrons who
desired little rest when they stopped in make their
pefehses But the chairs and the bench have disappear
lshea the Of what this merchant terms profes-
slenal lo2ters and gossip mongersH -"
AanN OK the IDLE neer wells Of the community used
y come ma here he said TO News representative buy
Htsfe9pt ess eonaseate eomf9riabe chair aud Just
suck There fellow In particular who used to
purchase the kind Of cigars that come two for cents
take on his hat make msef very comfortable and re-
nam around the store for four and five hours time
pnhs y with smoke and buttonholing every customer
Who visited counter n 10 indulge IN rossin
MY regular parons-those for whom the chairs ,ere m
tended as comfort and convonience-earned TO fight sh
OF them So l had TO take them out And now AN Inc
Dusypodles nave 70 keep on the move stand up
IL s feaiiy surprising how healthy looking men
seem 70 % nothing but stand street corners
ana M public places all day The pavement around the
city Hall has its hangers on: the court
mouse steps form shady retreat for those who have
pohlng 70 % but watch horses drink fountain
m Monument Square all Of the big Office buildings have
p9oy OF regulars oPstrueting their doorways and
The real question Is: How DO these squanderers o.,
time sxist?-Baltimore News.