Bisbee daily review., 1907-07-18
THE JOY OF GOOD EATING.

Waft VI PEoASSt "hsch ID 9HSNp4HA over the country against the forcing of the so-called health foods on an un- suspectlng and easily beguiled public. There. is a refreshing bitterness in the way a great many newspapers and magazines are attacking the dys. peptics and maleontents who for several years have been devoting their efforts Co making eating nnpopu- lar and to increasing the revenues of she patent food manufacturers.
 At a recent fashionable meeting of so-caled scientists in London, we are informed that professional diet ists recommended as food for all the world a two-course, three-times a day meal, consisting of bean porridge and whole wheat bread. At the same time bitter protest was lodged against those delicacies which nature pro vides and in which man has been ac- customed to rejoice until the past de- cade. during which we have learned as a people that our stomachs were made purely for ornamental purposes and to add to the grief mankind is heir to. We are being told now that Cicero and Socrates and Confucius and company all acclaimed against good eating and that all accepted philosophy and science is against it. Cicero and Socrates and Confucius, however, have not furnished the basis on which the world IS being operat- ed; they were not even the entire cheese in their own periods. There
 is reason to believe that each of them lived through a period of con siderably aggravated unpopqlarity and that they have survived chiefly because they had a bent for the use of well seasoned parchment.
 What would t profit the average American to conduct himself after the manner of Socrates? He might get a half page illustrated story in one issue nf Sunday neswpapei,, but that would be about al and Socra- tes, if all we have heard about him is true, would probably have waged a magazine campaign himself if he had been compelled to live out his days on breakfast foods and whole wheat bread. One wonders what kind of an oration Cicero would have been able to deliver had he been. nourished from childhood up on patent concen- trated milk and condensed sawdust, toasted.
 
 dried-up and sad-eyed, who seeks to achieve a reputation as a pessimist, it is safe to recommend the diet pre- scribed by the London society. Bean porridge and whole wheat bread will do the work as quickly as any other influence, unless it be some of our own American breakfast foods.
 Let the campaign against predigest- ed provisions go on The man wbr prefers his breakfast out of paste board box rather than from the vine or tree or out of the good green earth, has a perfect right to his in diyidual taste But for those of us who cling to the foods that nature has provided, there should be some relief from the eternal preaching of the experts in d;et and the patent food manufacturers whose theory seems to be that man was created wit ha diaordered stomach, chiefly useful for the trouble it can make.
 When the waiter at the hotel be- gins to go over his lingo about "oat- meal, force, corn flakes" etc, we always want to answer him in the words of Artemus Ward. Artemus says he had heard so much about Mir Astor's tavern that when he got to New York he went there and put up, and then he says. When I went to breakfast there wasn't a tarnal thing on the table but towel and split spoon and a handbsll, but after while a dandy nigger, all dressed to kill, waltzed up to me, and, says he. What will you haveTand putin on my most sternest look, says, 'Vittles. darn you. and be quick about it"
 While it would not be polite to say It, man with normal stomach | can't help feeling. "vIctuals, darn you."