Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1907-08-29
THE SOCIAL HOUR.


THE SOCIAL HOUR.
Good Bait.
A resident of Hudson, WIS, was deplor-
ing the resignation of Senate Spooner.
The senate can't afford to lose a mind
like that" he said. II know the man
we'll. He practiced law in this town for
fifteen years or thereabouts. He won
every case he set his hand to.
lit was no surprise to us Hudsonites
to find that John c.. Spooner was the fin
est legal mind In the senate. We knew
him of old, you see. When he had a
case on we used to go in droves to hear
him plead.
Il remember to this day a story that
he once told in court in a case where
he was showing how, with a good mo-
tive. one might still do a lot of harm.
He said that two aged Scotch ministers
sat talking one day over their church,
warden pipes.
Last Sawbath,' said the younger of
the two old men. only three folk cam
10 my k.rl. and since it was an awful
cauld, snawy. stormy mornin', i just took
them over to the manse, read a chapter,
gied them a prayer, and then. to ward
off the r~heumatics, a guild stiff glass of
the best whisky
THE other minister smiled.
"'Aweel,' he said. we will hae a fine con-
Sregation, my brither. the next stormy
day."
Don't Take Away Their Pins.
&c. III. Hartman" said a New York
broker. talked LUMINOSITY the other day
of the decline in the value of securities.
He said we must be careful not to legis.
late too harshly against the country's
vested interests, or the prosperity of these
interests. and with it the country's pros.
| perity would be impaired.
He illustrated his meaning with a
story.
There was a chool teacher he said.
who exclaimed impatiently one after
noon:
Johnny Jones. what are you fumbling
with there?'
Johnny hung his head and was silent.
But the tell-tale of tn class spoke up:
Its a pin he's I, N1a'am.'
We'll. take it FROM him. said the
teacher, and bring it here to me-
This was done. and then, In a molli-
fed voice, the teacher said:
Now. Johnny Jones, get up and recite
your history lesson
But Johnny Jones did not obey. He
blushed, hung his head and sat still.
Johnny said the teacher, rise, 1 tell
you
Then the little fellow blurted out dis
!! tressfully:"
~ can't. ma'am That there pin you
took is holds my trousers up"
I -
Moral Nature and the Appendix.
+, Cling to your appendix with both hands,
says the clerk of the day in the Boston
Transcript. Rev. Samue Van Vranken
Holmes, who preached at Harvard. has
furnished the clerk with documentary evil
dence regarding the inestimable value Of
appendices. In Buffalo, where he minis
tiers to a large and influential church., he
has lately been involved in a little I'M
pleasantness with the Torreyites. 1t
CHANGED that his course of addresses on
the modern view of scripture synchronized
with the Torrey meetings and drew down
upon him the rebuke of that mighty evan
gelist: whereupOn his mails grew heavy
with letters of protest. One of those
epistles ran something like this:
Sir: l understand now why you have
been led astray by the higher critics. 1t
lis less than a year, l am told, since you
underwent the operation for appendicitis.
and any physician will inform you that
when the vermiform appendix comes out
the patient suffers the total loss of his
moral nature. This explains your case
pretty clearly"
In Doubt.
From Harper's Weekly.
A certain young man who, according to
all the accepted notions, should be very
happy at this time, was found by a friend
the other day, with a somewhat troubled
look upon his face.
whats the matter. old man? Haven't
had a tilt have you?" the friend inquired.
"N-no." was the reply. accompanied by
a sigh. Fact is" he continued. in a burst
Of confidence, 1--WE been thinking over a
little remark Alice made last night"
.Oh, perhaps you misunderstood" the
friend suggested, encouragingly.
II hope So" was the reply. You see, we
were talking of-well how things would be,
you know. and Alice said:
land won't 1t be just too sweet: YOU
will come home all tired out from your
hard days work and hold me on your lar
for hours. and read to me. and drive ali
my cares away, and dry my tears and rut
my head-and 1t will be just like 9
novel;"
Misunderstood.
At a meeting Of the famous Bill club OF
Jefferson City-he whose name is not vii.
liam may not join this club-ex-Congress.
man Cowherd told a Decoration day
story.
Decoration day." he said, "always
makes me think of a peddler who came
to my cousins house in jackson count
when the war was al It's height.
This peddler. a strong. tail young man,
was %peddling ferns. and my pretty cousin
said to him reproachfully:
81 am surprised to see an able-bodied
young man like you selling ferns at this
crisis. Why are you not with the army?
THE peddler looked surprised.
Why, they don't want ferns In III
army. do they. lady7' he said"