The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1907-12-27
globe. You know what the peanut Is,
Of course?'

globe. You know what the peanut is,
Of course?'
Yep"
They are eaten baked, and they are
eaten raw. They are eaten on the
street and in the house. They are eat
en- at ward caucuSes and at marriages
and funerals. Doctors have always
said they were a good thing. but how
good no one knew until / compounded
a tonic of them. My dear sir, I can
brove to you that one bottle OF the ton
ic has the same nutrition as a whole
carcass Of fresh beef"
Gee WhiZ.'
at strengthens more than a barrel Of
wine"
by thu1derr'
"It will make man or woman put on
five pounds OF fat per week"
You don't #Gy."
"The doctors and the hospitals will
throw aside every other tonic md &C
cept mi-e- What does Lillian Russell
say: She Weighed 49, pounds before
taking the peanut tonic and was sup
posed to be going into a decline. In
two weeks she weighed 80 pounds
and was looking around for the ak to
chop wood. What has kept the two
senators from New York state alive for
the last month? What has braced Sen
atOr Foraker up anew? Why has the
car Of Russia ceased to talk Of resign
ing? WIZ is the Chicago beef trust
trembling in its shoes? | tell YOU, sir,
VIZ 1910 IT, x~,,-3,-A J'-,- ~, A. rolo
Of this green earth, and if you don't
make $10.GOO,OOO out Of it in three
years vi be disappointed In you. AS
l said. I want you for treasurer"
And, by gum, you d have me"
Uncle Rcuben's Salary.
"That's right. That's the way l Ike
to hear Il man speak up. Your salarv
for the first year, while we are getting
under way, will only be q hundred
thousand dollars, but after that it may |
60 to half q million. All you'll have
to do * to count the money as it comes
In and goes out and be careful that you
don't pay out any thousand dollar bills
for hundreds"
Say. it's great: it's greatr' whisper |
VA |A--' = y - ~ '-'-r1 AOuIA
AMI rubbed his hands together.
1T is gre%te" than great" added the
fOr as he also walked. You may
want 10 kuJw where we shall get our
pe:nCt" from. Not from the American
trust, You rnn BET. | have leased $780, |
CD acres Of the great Sahara desert
to SroN them on. Fifty bushels to
the are. and that makes go, 100000 |
buHh"i& OF peanuts. We shall have our !
own bottle factories and raise our
YOU"
kings empnrOrS. cZars, presidents, |
dictatoIs. lords, dukes, barons, counts, |
opera singers and actresses to adver- !
tiSe US, and behind them all the doc
tors come trailing in; also all the news |
papers. Can you beat it? Can you
match Major Crofoot?" !
Shake hands, MAJOR said Uncle |
as he held out his paw.
And can you go to work on Mon
queried the promoter after shak- |
ing.
I'll be on hand or perish"
very well. You may 1n0OrSe that |
check and leave it with me as security
you will show up. It's a mere
formality, o know. Turn the check
over and write your name there"
"And I'll make-make'-
you'll have SIS, 900 in the bank
before another buckwheat crop Is off.
And now, as this is my busy day.
I'll take a skate and show up Mon
day mot ming"
The major sat down and pressed his
hands to his humping heart and long
ed for a dose Of brandy. He gave I'm
Gle Reuben ten minutes to get out of
the n~eighborhood and then wrote his
own name OF the check and went over
to the bank and showed It at the pay
Ing teller in a careless way.
"Good only for paper rags" said the
teller as he showed it back, with a grin.
Uncle Reuben was ON top. He had
soaked the man who was seeking to
soak him. M. QUAD.