Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-09-07

He-So your husband has given up
smoking. That wants a pretty strong
VIII. She-Well, I've got one.--Punch-
Daughter seems to have got
over the death OF her first husband.
Father-Yes, but her second husband
hasn't-Pick Me-Up.
Mrs Would you accept
place in the suburbs? Cook--Ill con-
slider II II yez have room in your garage
for me motor.-Town Topics.
What did You thak of that girl at
her comlng-out paryR" "well, to be
perfectly frank, thought she'd better
70 back !''I.eslie's Weekly,
Mother-But what do you expect to
% later. my son, IL you never learn to
writer Son-0h, that will be all right
III buy a typewrlter,-Sil
May call you Mabel2" he asked
at their second meeting. pretending to
be badly smitten, IF you wish to; but
my name Is Gertrude. Chicago Rec
ord Herald.
Candidate for Crew-Could you tell
me where the rhetoric class is being
held? Candidate for Football don't
know I'm "A student here myself
Town Topics
Employer-Ths makes the fourth
grandmother of yours that has died
this spring Office Boy know 1t;
amt these family troubles fierce --
Cornell Widow.
Snooks-To what do you attribute
your success as tradesman? Sellem
If customer doesn't see what he
wants, make him want what he sees.
illustrated Bits.
What's become OF your umbrellaT
II loaned 1t to Tompkins." why
doesn't he return it, 1.-THE owner
caught him with II and demanded IT,"
Milwaukee Sentinel
! Father, do all angels have wingsT
NO, my son, your mother has none"
And then she said, sweetly, that he
might go to the club II he wouldn't stay
late Atlanta Constitution.
Teacher-How long had Washington
been dead when Roosevelt was inaugu-
rated8 Scholar dunno, but 1t hasn't
been very dead since Teddy has been
there -Lipplncott's Magazine.
DO you think cabbage Is unwhole-
some?" asked the dyspeptlc. 1T de-
ponds somewhat" answered the food
expert. con whether you eat 1t or try
to smoke It." Washington Star.
Mrs Rogers is perfect slave to
her husband" what does she dor
Would you believe IL? Every year. on
his birthday, she gets up In time to eat
breakfast with him. " Leslle's Weekly.
Teacher You have named all domes-
tic animals save one. 1t has bristy
hair. 1t Is grlmy, likes dirt, and Is fond
of mud. Well, Tom? Tom (shamc-
facedly) That's me--Chicago Trib-
unc.
Mabel Jagged six Amt you afraid
Of our big dog? The Parson every thln)'
No. my dear lie would not make
much of meal of me Mabel-Oh.
hut he likes bones best.--Chlcago Daily
News
"A tramp fell into the water tank Of
locomotive and rode twenty
miles without being discovered" WAS
he unconscious when foundY NO.
tnrccOgnzabIe" Cleveland Pla n
Dealer.
Dolly Molly Wolcott told me n
/
going To be dream. Polly Wen. that
is all II is. 80 far Her husband won't
give her the money for it.--Somervile
| Journal.
And do you have to be called In
the morning2" asked the lady who was
about 10 engage a new girl. II don't
has to be, num-" replied the applicant.
unless You happens to need me. -
/ Y0nkers Statesman.
| Your sentence is to be suspended"
began the merciful court Great
Scott, Jedgei" exclaimed the prisoner,
"ef ia knowed chicken stealing was a
hanging offcnse / wouldn't have stoie."
philadelphia Ledger,
| when DO you prefer, sald the ar
tistic young woman. 'music or poetry"
! Poetry" answered Miss Cayenne. You
can keep poetry shut up In a book.
You don't have to listen to II unless
you choose" Washington Star.
Excuse me, sir" remarked the
! wcary wayfarer, but | don't know
where my next meal Is coming from"
Neither do l." replied the prosperous
/ looking individual. My cook left this
J morning, too" Philadelphia Record
oh madam" said the French maid,
! "Fido weel not eat ~ bon-bons." THE
dear. intelligent little doggie 80 exclaim-
( al Mrs. Rich. There must be some
thing wrong with those bonbuns, Cloe
! Give them to the children - New York
| Evening Mail.