Alaska sentinel., 1907-10-31
~~oo~N~oo~

Quite unearthly.-The Bystander.
 He (with a sigh)-I have only one friend on earth-my dog. She-Why don't you get another dog Daily News.
 Citlman-Yes, she's married to a real estate agent, and good, honest fellow, too Subbubs-Good gracious. Big amy, eh?-Phlladelphia Press.
 "JoAnny, doesn't your conscience tell you that you are doing wrong?' Yes, mother, but father said I wasn't to be- lIeve everything I heard" Punch.
 Patience-Did you ever hear the Duette sisters sing in concert? Patrlce -No one always seems to be little ahead of the other-Youkers States man.
 No, I don't care for English opera" Why not?' Because il bothers me to listen to what the singers are saying when I want to talk. ''-Cleyeland Plain Dealer.
 l Nell-She always said she wanted husband who was easily pleased. Bess Did she get such one: Nell-Nhy, yes didn't he marry her:-Lippincott's Magazine.
 'I should think" she said, that golf Ing would make you awfully tired No, stand 1t first rate. You see, l never keep my score at all.'-Chicago Record Herald.
 | Church. see that Argentine has & 54-mile horse railway. It Is the long est in the world. Gotham-Gee, Think of holding on to d strap for o4 miles = | Yonkers Statesman.
 T must get you another chair for tho kitchen, Katie; I see you have only one" "Sure, you needn't mind ma'am. have none but gintleman callers. - Yonkers Statesman.
 I'm going to put fender on the front of my runabout." So you won't run over some onet" "Nope. So it won't hurt the radiator when I do."- Cleveland Plain Dealer.
 Wigwag fine dog of yours, | Saphedde. Saphedde indeed, he is. That dog knows as much as l do. | Wigwag-Ill give you quarter for hlm.-Philadelphi Record.
 Excuse me, sir, but this Is the sixth time that you have gone away without paying" oh, my dear young lady, when man sees you he forgets every thing else. ."-tliegende Blaetter.
 Lady Customer-I wish to tell you how these shoes of mine are to be made. shoemaker-Oh, I know that well enough-large inside. and small outsde.- -Meggendorfer Blaetter.
 "Oh, Willie, what's this queer look in thing with about million legsI" That's a millennium. It's somethin' like a centennial, only 1t has more egs."-"Natural History in Life.
 Nell-Yes she said her husband mar rled her for her beauty. What do you think of that? Belle-Well, l think her husband must feel like a widower now.-Catholic Standard and Times.
 Bllnks-The first principle of an- archlsm Is to divide with your fellow man, Is 1t not? Winks-No The first principle is to make your fellow man divide with you.-Chicago Daily News
 Hotel Propretor-Has not the man In No. 15 received his bill yet? Head Waiter-Certainly Fifteen minutes ago. Strange I hear him still sing ing in his room" m."-Meggendorfer Blaet- 1 ter.
 Tired Tatters-I saw de new moon over me left shoulder las night wonder wot dat's sign uy? Weary Walker-It's sign dat de nex' place youse ask fer work youse'll git it, Chicago Daily News.
 Mir. Phoxy-Did you send the Borems card for our "at home?' Mrs. Phoxy-Yes; how could I get out of 1t? Mir. Phoxy-I'l tell Borem that Jenks is coming. Borem owes him money Terre Haute Tribune.
 "Ahl pretty lady" said the fortune teller, you wish to be told about your | future husbands" Not much" replied Mrs. Galley. I've come to learn where my present husband is when he's ab- sent" t"-Phlladelphia Press. Husband (explaining his late home comng)- Ny dear l couldn't help 1t. just missed the last car and had to wait forty minutes. Wife-Now don't blame 1t on the street car company. They've troubles enough without you.- Detroit Free Press.
 Hawkins-Oh, we'll, Bjenks isn't such bad fellow, after all. Dawkins- What makes you say that? Hawkins Well, he wouldn't lend me the $lO that I asked him for, but he didn't take ad. vantage of the opportunity to give me good adylce.-Somerville Journal.