The Washington herald., 1907-03-06

lany result Though very simple mat
4 ter, our legislators could not be brought
/ to agree to it for reasons best known 10
themselves; and il remained for an execu-
tive officer to decree that the government
+ shall pay for carrying the mails only
| when they are actually carried, thus saw
/ ing to the Treasury an appreciable sum
which the railroads have heretofore en-
( jOyed as "A gratUity.
And who will say that Mr.. Cortelyou
has not done the right thing?
A statistical sharp has figured it that
/ the dividends TO be declared in March
/ will provide IS cents for every inhabitant
/ Of the United States. We would not ad-
/ wise any one TO lose any sleep waiting for
/ their 81. however.
one of the experts says Thaw IS suf-
fering from "the paranoiac form OF in
! sanity adolescence No wonder the man
is crazy.
Thinking and work are masters of
talk says the Baltimore American.
Playing spectator at few sessions Of
/ Congress would cure you Of that idea.
The Countess du Pin, divorced from
her husband. has become a Partisan cab
driver. From now on she will earn her
own pin money,
some one has presented Senator Tnlman
with a beautifully dedicated piece Of mu-
sic entitled The March OF the Pitch
fork" Wouldn't a polka have been more
appropriate for "a pitchfork2
A cable says the American lobster Is
becoming very popular in Germany" So
Harry Lehr is making a hit, IN spite Of
everything mean that has been said about
his conduct at the court Of the Kaiser.
The Buffalo News presents Mr.. Peter
Tumuch for consideration. Thought he
was king Of Servia.
An Alaskan religious sect teaches that
one-half of hades is as cold as 100 de
grees below zero. That IS probably the
section reserved for coal dealers who sell
near-tons for tons.
Another sun spot is due % put in an
appearance next week. Perhaps il is sun
spots that make these Panama Canal
engineers show such peculiar symptoms.
The Car has a hard proposition on
hand trying TO decide what to do with
those Siberian exiles who are in rebellion.
There is no worse place to exile them 20,
and they seem 10 think death would be
a great relief.
Mr.. Cleveland says ne acquired his
"soIemnity' from sitting next 10 it, just
as the little boy caught the measles. He
probably acquired his rather pOnderous
diction from sitting next the unabridged
dictionary.
a comet is soon 20 touch the earth. 20
according to the Atlanta Constitution. II
is extremely doubtful whether Congress
left this country in shape to stand a
touch just now.
'The world is growing better; men are
better than their predecessors says Sen
ator Bob" Taylor We knew very well
the Senator would begin his career by
saying something pleasant.
That New Jersey party who laughed
eight hours on Il stretch must have read
about Congressman Tawney's vision of
large, tat surplus in the Treasury after
the present appropriations are met
My watch ought to be the official time
piece of the House" says Uncle joe Per
haps it ought to be nothing of the kind.
but it is all right
Marie CoreIIi says she writes because
Of power she cannot resist. Fortunate
ly, one is not compelled to read what she
writes for the same reason.
A Cleveland tOhio1 woman wants
divorce because her husband has a habit
of saying 'Oh, fudge There ought TO
be some sort of punishment prescribed
for molIycoddles like that
The Houston Post says there is no
longer any demand for bowie knives in
Texas Legislature adjourned yet?
The American Ambassador has been in
vited to a state dinner to be given in his
honor by the Gar. It is 10 be sincerely
hoped that the occasion may prove a
pleasant blowout. and not a blow-up.
The new Congressman is superior to the
old At least he is $500 a year superior.
The gentleman who undertakes 10 fil
Senator SpoOner's seat will have the con-
tract of his life on hand.
John d. Rockefeller is going to expert
ment with the servant question" says the
Rochester Herald. Is there nothing in the
world that man win not tackle?
The governor Of Hawaii says ne would
be willing for his daughter to marry
Jap. However, do not he too hastv in
your judgment. This announcement NAV
be made merely to brighten the Japs from
Hawaii You do not know what she may
look like
New England papers Indignantly deny
Senator Beveridge's statement that
witches We're ever burned IN that section:
on the contrary. it is claimed they were
invariably hanged. Why discuss it? The
witches are all dead. and nobody else is
interested il the manner of their taking
of
It's still Expected"
From the Louisville Courier-JounaI
1T is expected that the President will
say something In his next message about
the tariff. says q correspondent. It was
pNraa-fa1 in -,