Waterbury evening Democrat., 1907-12-20
.GR||D|RON CLUB GRILL
Men Prominent In Public Life
 Made Targets For Fun.
FAIRBANKS, SERVED UP HOT.

FAIRBANKS, SERVED UP HOT. Skit on Famous Cocktail Is Chief Item at Dinner of Washington ciub-cIear-
 ing House Certificates In Place of
 Menu Carda-Fun With Pacific Fleet. For just minute it looked as if somebody had made mistake at the Gridiron clubs dinner in Washington the other night. When, after the usu- al speech made in the dark by Presi- dent Samuel G. Blythe, as the guests entered, the lights suddenly famed on again in the big dining room of the Hotel Willard, there wasn't cocktail to be seen, says a Washington special | dispatch to the New York World.
 The guests were too polite to say anything about it, but a member mo- ticed it and, springing to his feet, de- manded to know where the cocktails were. The president called on the chairman of the committee which had charge of them to explain, and he ex- ! plained in song with a rousing { chorus that the omission was on ac- 1 count of the disastrous results of serv- | ing cocktails at a certain dinner in Indiana. Then, producing large glass of buttermilk, he walked up to Vice President Fairbanks and handed it to him, singing to the air of Bud weiser:"
 And now, MT. Fairbanks, will you drink this cocktail? It's simple and harmless and dry, | And not to alarm you we say 1t won't
 harm you,
 So don't be too shrinking and shy. You surely will say as you sip its fine flavor,
 Unless you confess, as you will, we all guess,
 You intend to be dry-till next June.'
 The vice president took the glass of buttermilk and drank it amid the cheers .of the 250 guests. Then the real cocktails were served, and the dinner was on.
 It hadn't gone far, however, before a member of the club arose and in- formed the chair that he wanted to ask Secretary Metcalf a question. The secretary obligingly rose, and the in- quirer demanded:
 "Why is the Atlantic fleet going to the Pacific"
 The secretary lodged.
 "Oh, we'll" said President Blythe "the Gridiron club knows if you don't. The fleet is going to the Pacific to help make you United States senator from California"
 In place of the usual menu card a clearing house certificate was furnish ed to each guest with each course, cer- tifying in the usual form that the Gridiron club had deposited securities upon which this certificate was issued and that the certificate entitled the bearer to one portion of soup. fish or whatever the course was. Each of these certificates bore some cheering motto relating to the course. such as the following:
 II "You take care of the fowl and Uncle Joe will look after Fowler"
 What is the difference between ter rapin Maryland and the department of justice? The terrapin has been relieved of its Bony Part and the department hasn't"
 "This game (roast quaiD is guaran. teed not to be as tough as the one Cor. telyou is up against.
 "Why is this coffee like the five mil. lion dollar conspiracy? It has no grounds"
 "Why is our chicken gumbo like the relations between Roosevelt and Hughes? Strained. See?"
 Then a member of the club arose and led the Gridlron songsters in a song addressed to Secretary Cortelyou to the good old air of "Peekaboo.' It was about Cortelyou's gum shoe campaign for the presidential candi , dacy.
 'If you ask him to speak. he just shakes
 his head
 And will not affirm or deny.
  his work He looks for his star in the sky. He's mute. dumb and silent and don't say a word
 ; And wears his gum shoes every day. . But he'll have a leased wire 10 Chicago next June.
 Hoping to hear them say
 Here the singer. followed by his chorus, marched over to where Mir Cortelyou was sitting and. pointing hi' finger at him, sang the chorus:
 "Cortelyou. cortelyou.
 Come from behind your chair; Corteiyou. CortelyOu. We see you hiding there!" After the guests had eaten in peace for about ten minutes they were sud . denly interrupted by the incurslon o a number of fat colonels on a practice ride. The colonels were aIl mounted , on sticks with horses heads. and or . these they gallOped wildly through thu room and out. The first class in natural history con . vened to discuss nature faking jus } after the roast quail was served ant ! asked and answered questions likl . this:
 Was the story about Mrs. OLeary' COW kicking over the lamp that eaus cd the fire a nature fskeT" "It wasn't Mrs O'Ieary's COW tha