The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-12

didn't have to control the destinies of
 Europe, Asia, Africa and North and South America protect the natives of the west by ridding their mountains of wild and ferocious beasts, sass trust
 with one hand while pulling a railroad president up by the roots with the other, or write articles for the magazines be-
 fore breakfast so as to be in time to reform the customs and habits of the people while the boy Is bringing in the morning paper. Washington is the mar
 vel of the world because he done so
 well as he did before this book was published"
 "When was the book publshed7' asked
 the marshal laying down his wrench and
 walking slowly toward the shady side of the street
 ''It is revised every week." said Eliph' Hewitt, Ito keep it up to date and fresh If you buy one now you get the latest edition, which is practically a new work, revised from cover to cover. Lin coin was never lucky enough to get a copy of this book, which was not pub lished then, and that is why he wasn t so great as he might have been. He missed lots of things he might have had a hand in, as set forth in this volume. A President with this book on his table can do his job justice. It tells--him how to survey canals, how to handle a
 
 how to mend pumps how to plough corn. measure corn in the crib and settle strikes; how to spank a trust and how to avoid race suicide in fourteen distinct and different ways. This book, contain ing information on every subject on earth, from the cradle to the grave, gives the owner chance to enter joyfully into any public office and run it on up-to- date lines. He can have a hand in every thing that is going on. If you ever look to be President you ought to buy a copy of this book right now"
 "No," said the marshal reluctantly; mo, I guess I don't want to buy one. First thing I know people would get onto the fact that I had copy and they would be comin aroung urging me to run for President, and I don't want the job The job of town marshal and veterinary sur geon to the pump is all I'm capable to handle. I looked into the President busi- ness a while back, and I guess I don want it. It's kind of you to suggest it to me, but I guess I'll pass it by. It used to be a good job in the old days, but there's too much work to 1t now. In them days, when all a President had to be was to be President, it was a nice situation; but look what it Is nowi A President has to be the whole shooting match and do all the work, while every body else loafs around and draws pay. Nowadays President has to be every thing from revised dictionary to an | unexpurgated edition of the Ten Com mandments in words of one syllable. When he ain't busy soliciting a senator, | to save some state the trouble of doing i 1t for itself, he has to be acting as a committee of one to do the work of Con gress, the supreme court, eighteen South American governments and a school | board. The President has to do all the work, and all the thanks he gets is | to be made fun of. I don't want the job. l It's too big for me, and it's getting | too big for any one man. What we neSd | is a syndicate to do our presidenting for us. This here big country oughtn't to l expect one man to be the whole three ring | circus and the menagere and the side | show. at one time, and then call on him | to do a prize fight and reform the spelling | book and learn us morals simultaneously at once. It ain't fair. No man can't live 1 a simple life and do all them things al