The state herald., 1907-02-08
A LESSON IN LETTER WRITING.

A LESSON IN LETTER WRITING.
Someone is framing up bill in New
York calculated to prevent the stage
and newspapers using the Irish wit and
dialect, and for fear that some deacon
might work the bill through, we are
going to reprint this old letter once
more just for luck. 1t has been on the
road so long that many have forgotten
it. Here it is:
"Tullymucclescrag, Parish of Bally-
raggett, near Ballysluggathey, Comfy
of Kilkenny, Ireland, January the lth,
B. c. My Dear Neify: haven't stint
ye letther since the last time wrote
to ye, bekase we have moved from our
former place of Twin and didn't know
where letther would find ye; but i
now with pleasure take up me pin to
inform ye of the death of yer own livin'
uncle, Ned Fitzpatrick, who died very
suddenly a few days ago after linger-
in illness of six weeks. The poor fel-
low was in violent convulsions the hole
time of his sickness, lynn perfectly
quiet and entirely spachless-all the
while talkin' incoherently and cryin'
for wather. had no OPPORTUNITY of
informin' ye of his death sooner, ex-
c,pt wrote to ye by the last post,
which same went off two days before
he died; and then ye would have had
postage to pay. am at loss to tell
what his death was occasioned by, but
l fear it was by his last sickness, for
hs was niver well ten days togither
durin the whole of his confinement;
and believe his death was brought a
bout by his attn too much of rabbit
stuffed with pals and gravy, or pals and
gravy stuffed with rabbit; but be that
as it may, when he breathed his last,
the doctor gave up all hope of his re-
covery.
81 needn't tell ye anything about his
age, for ye well know that in June
next he would have been just seventy
five years old lackin' ten months, and
had he lived till that time, would have
been just six months dead. His prop
erty now devolves to his next of kin,
which all died some time ago. so that l
expect it will be divided betwixt us;and
ye know his property, which was very
large, was sold to pay his debts and the
remainder he lost at a horse race; but
it was the opinion of Everybody at the
time that he would have won the race
If the baste he run against hadn't been
too fast for him.
81 never saw man in all my life.
and the doctors all said SO, that observ-
ed directions or took medicine better
than he did. He said he would as leve
drink bitter as swate il it had only the
same taste. and ipecana as whisky
punch II it would only put him in the
same humor for fightin'. But, poor
sowl! .le will niver ait or drink any
more, and ye haven't livin' relation
in the whole world exsept meself and
yer two cousins who were kilt in the
last war. ! cannot dwell on the mourn
full subject anylonger. and shall sale me
letther with black sailin' wax, and put
It in yer uncle's coat-of-arms. So | beg
ye not to break the sale when ye open
the letther; and don't open it until two
or three days after ye resave this. and
by that time ye will be well prepared
forthc sorrowful tidings.
"Yer old swateheart sinds her love
uuknownst to ye. Whin Jarry McGhee
arrives in America ax him for this let
ther. and II he don't brung il from a
mongst the rest tell him it's the one
that spakes about yer uncle's death.
and is sailed in black.
81 remain yer affectionate ouldgrand
mother, BRIDGET O'HooLEGoIS."