The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-08-29
- FgH||:a1ln B
A-AJp VIII i.
@sN5 tNLt BY
uneIe ey,s &C storr.

Uncle By's Life Story.
This is where ! tel the story OF my
life. There are g chapters aud an
appendix. ! am not going 10 give you
the appendix am going ito cut that
out"
| was born in the country. the year
Of the big wind. This was the same
year the pieplant all froze, following
the winter Of the blue snow. That
same spring the rabbit first made a
noise like a turnip and Willie Tascott
invented the saying, Why does a
chicken cross the road?"
Although ! was born in Iowa. no
one has accused me Of being Rockefel-
ler's pa, AS matter Of fact, ! am
not Rockefeller's pa. Some one once
asked me what / would do i | had
Rockefeller's income. ! replied: I
don't know. but ! have often wondered
what Rockefeller would do il he had
mlne,"
Along about this time ! was court.
ing a girl with all the emphasis and
earnestness of my emphatic and low
ing disposition. That is. l was earnest
enough in my own communions, but
couldn't get up courage to ask the
girl. One day, in a fl Of desperation,
| called her over the telephone
rs this YOU Mame?" ! que-ied.
"Uh huh" came the answer in duh
Get tones. slightly jumbled from gum
chewing.
Will you marry me-" ] blur-ed like
a calf coughing sweet milk on the
hired mans Sunday shrt-front'
Sure. Mike" responded Name.
without hesitation OF embarrassment.
who are yOu'"
That night called and kissed her
right on the mouth. My, but that kiss
tasted good II was like-let me see,
what did that kiss taste like? Well,
| it was like the double distilled essence
| Of honey spread thick on a piece Of
pumpkin pie, only about a thousand
| times more so, 1t felt like ccvey OF
| quail flying out of each ear, and ended
| with the sensation like a fOck of
angels pouring pure maple molasses
down my back!
Name didn't scream. She said after
ward she couldn't have screamed IL
she had wanted TO while / was kissing
| her and by the time she could scream.
she didn't want TO. ] asked her why
she didn't scream for help and she
said she didn't think / needed any.
Well, we were as happy as pair Of
young calves chewing each others
ears for the first time. II was a resu-
lar lemonade festival. She was the
lemon and I was the squeezer 1t was
Sunday evening and we went 10
church. Stopping at the end Q. a back
pew, | turned to the usher and said:
Il guess we can squeeze in here,"
Yes" said the usher, 81 guess you
can, but wouldn't it be better 70 wait
until you get home?"
But Name refused to marry me IN
til had saved $4,000 Many a WON
an" said Name, has been importuBed
to fly with young man who couldn't
buy pair of chicken wings in a Chi
cago restaurant TO save his life"
The next day l went to work In
earnest to make that $4,000 That
night Name called me by phone and
asked how l was getting along
Fine said |, fine and dandy"
The next night she called me again,
and although / knew Name was a
swell dresser and a high stopper,
was game. At the end of the fourth
day / received another message:
How much have you saved?" she
asked tenderly
"Three-eighty-fve," ! replied, men,
tally calculating
| I-l-guess that's near enough"
she stammered. Come on up to
night"
As | approached the house I heard
beautiful strains of music From
Names snow white throat there en-
anated in clear soprano tones-tones
so very dear to me-melodious, sIl-
very words, words of mother dear,"
Yes, 1t was song of dear mother!"
AS | stood there enraptured, my heart
bubbling over with love and efervesc.
ing like a beheaded bottle OF cham
payne in sweat-box. | chaaced TO
glance through the kitchen window.
There, her arms plunged TO the elbows
in a pan of dough, stood Name
mother. The sweat was streaming
down her face, her hair was awry and
the hot range heat enveloped her. She
was singing brokenly not song OF
mother dear" but Wen work til
Jesus comes,"
The awakening was too sudden. 7
turned and wandered away, away into
the innermost recesses of the wood