The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-12-25
CARRYING UMBRELLAS.
Few People Manage Them to the Best
Advantage.

! reH reopio manage mem 70 the 6e8t
Advantage.
@Curious about how some people
carry umbrellas" said Mr.. Stormel-
ton. "We think the ostrich is a
stupid bird because with its head
buried in the sand it thinks its
whole body is hidden from every
body. But pleaty of men are quite
as stupid as that in their manner
of carrying an umbrella.
They carry it in such way as
to protect the front of their bodies
and appear to think they have them
selves wholly protected, while all
the time The water is gayly dripping
down their backs. The fact is that
not many men know how to carry
an umbrella when it rains.
IF it rains and blows then in
stinctively they hold the umbrella
toward the wind to keep the nm
brella from being blown inside out
as well as to protect themselves
from the rain. This is proper. But
when the rain is coming down
straight they carry their umbrellas
in all sorts of ways, in which they
reveal more or less of their personal
characteristics.
Here, for instance, is q man who
carries his umbrella held in his
right hand with the hand straight
in front of and in line with his ell
bow and upper arm, this being the
easiest way to carry it. Held in this
manner the umbrella really shelters
completely only his head and the
right side of his body. The rain
drips from it on his left shoulder
and down his left side. He is either
lazy or thoughtless. He is probably
both.
again we may meet a man car
rying an umbrella at the cost of
considerable effort around in front
of the center-ine- of his body, which
Is correct as to that position, but
carrying it there too far forward,
with the result that while he keeps
perfectly dry on his face side, yet
more or less water drips down his
back-a man fnicky and particular
about the front he presents, about
appearances, but not SO mindful OF
the substance.
"And then we meet the man who
carries his umbrella with fore arm
straight in line with his elbow, for
the greater ease of that position of
the arm, but with the hand slightly
turned so as to make the umbrella
more completely cover him or with
that end in view, which end, how
ever, it does not accomplish, for
with the umbrella top tilted it does
not cover so large an area as i
does when carried in horizontal
plane. This is man who is lazy.
but trying by that twist of the hand
to get something for nothing or
without much effort.
"And then we may occasionally
meet a man who is carrying his UNI
brella in the best possible position
for the purposes of the best possible
protection to be gained from it, this
being square in front of him, with
the umbrella handle all but touch
ing the center of the front edge of
the rim of his hat, carried so as to
protect him as far as may be both
back and front, while he carries the
umbrella as low down as can be
without touching his hat on top,
thus giving himself also protection
as far as possible down around to-
ward his feet. And here we find
a man who knows intelhgently what
can be done with the means at his
command and who is willing to put
forth the effort required to bring
those means to their utmost eff
ciency."-New York Sun.