The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1907-10-17

rows Of others! Vhas it something's to
you dot l married a womans who
won't take in washing to support me?"
mo"
"Do you care If my house vhas
wretchedness und my days und nights
vhas full of woe?'
mo"
"My wife pulls my hair und chokes
me, und she drives me oudt into der
cold world to find some Jobs of carry
ing in coal When I get oop in der
mornings l vhas sorrowful, und when
l lie down at night I vhas afraid. 1t
vhas all sorrow, sorrow, sorrow, but do
you care a continental cooked hatr'
Il don't pellet l do" l says.
"No, of course not. You vhas hap
py man und bloated aristocrat. You
can haf country sausage eafery day
for dinner und walk oudt NIT your
cane, und you don't care for poor peo-
pies. I make you care, however.
Dootchmans, look oudt for yourselfr'
He Was Badly Damaged.
Mid dot he shumps at me und chokes
me und rolls me on der floor und
when he goes AWAY I vhas damaged
until my head swims und der shop
goes round und round. l haf to smell
some camphor und put rag around
my head before I go to work again.
Maybe 1t vhas one pefore der old
man Snyder comes in. He yhas some
Dootchmans, too, but he makes me
tired. He sits down und shmokes his
pipe und don't say one word for forty
minutes py some clocks. Den he
speaks oudt:
"Hans, how vhas it aboudt some
trustsY
81 don't keep 'em on hand" says.
Don't try to be funny. You haf
heard of trusts. 1t vhas trusts who
put oop der prices Of meat, leather,
coal und lots of tings."
"Vhellf"
"Vhell, you know vhas der only
man for ten blocks around dot makes
frankfurters. Peoples who half to buy
must come to me- keep der price SO
much all der time. A week ago my
wife wakes oop in der night und says
to me:
"'Snyder, you vhas fool"
GLOW vhas dotT says as l wake
oop too.
"'Because you don't make one hoon.
cred per cent profit on sausages.'
"'But how can II
"'You shall become trust und put
prices oop. Der peoples must haf
frankfurters, und dey must come to
you. If you vhas smart man you
vhas reech in vone year.
"vhell, dot makes me do some tink'
ing" says Snyder. II sit und tink
und scratch my head, und l stand oop
und tink und feel Of my ear, und In
two days I vhas a trust, und prices
vhas oop. l vhas a trust for two
days, und den l vhas busted"
"How vhas it?" l says.
"Shust like dis. l drink keg of
beer eafery week. My beer vhas oudt
one day, und l goes by der brewery
und says:
Schmidt, you may send me oop
dot keg of beer for a dollar und a
half
az don't haf some,' he says.
"'But vhyT
Beer and Frankfurters.
"'Because she haf gone oop to IA
shilllngs. Beer vhas in sympathy NIT
frankfurters, you know. Ven one goes
oop, der odder goes oop too
"Dot knocks me oudt, but | haf to
pay. Dot same day l goes by der
tailor who cleans my clothes und says,
How moocn TO clean my coatF he
says it vhas feefteen cents more ash
before because frankfurters vhas gone
oop. und coats vhas In sympathy.
90 by der coal man for a ton of coal.
but it vhas gone oop a quarter on
ton to me- l goes by der butcher for
my meat, but meat vhas higher. 1t
vhas so in eafery place, und bust oop
my trust und go home und say to my
wife:
"If make 81 ash a trust und lose
Sc ash an Individual, how many fools
vhas in our familyY
Il like Mr.. Snyder to go home, be-
cause shall send oudt der growler for
beer und drink by myself, but he
und smokes uAd smokes und stays on uno