davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24
Spring fever stalks abroad.
spring Breaks Loose fn Georgia.

Though recalcitrant and unsubmissive
spring may hesitate and balk at settling
down TO business north of Mason and
Dixon line. it has radiantly burst abloom
in Georgia. where every hill and dale rip
pies with laughter and every purllng
brooklet babbles and splashes in abundant
glee.
The never-failing sign OF spring down
there-the hnal complete. and ultimate
evidence-is the opening of the barbecue
season. Both curiosity and sweet antici-
patton poise a-trembie in Georgia sanctums
and around Georgia hearthstones until
some well-quaIihed harbinger raises his
thrice welcome voice and heralds forth
the glad refrain. Spring is here! Let's
have barbecue"
The Rome Tribune, a Georgia trouba-
dour well known to song and story, and
the hero of constituency all Georgian
to the core, has yanked from out the
mothballs and the winters dusts its
trusty bugle, aud summons 10 the feast
every cracker for miles and miles
around. Then adds the Tribune
Get out in a shady spot by an inviting spring
with party Of friends and watch the luscious
meat as it sizzles on the spit gaze at the cook
while be swsbs the meat with the barbecueing
mixture and see it craekle and turn crisp under
the heat from the Goals below. Then watch the
Brunswick stew awhile as il bofs in the pot
being stirred once in awhile By the boss operator
VITA stick; note the luscious hunger creating
odor that arises from It's fumes; after you have
done this for svhile you are ready to come to the
conclusion that your chief object in life would be
h--
would get done enough to eat
Oh, faint and inexpensive words in
which to paint SO fair a picture. Not
more Intoxicating was ever maiden S
virgin kiss than the bewiIdering pleasures
conveyed to eager senses all rampant by
such an Odor. Let those who seek the
heights of happiness repair at once to
Georgia scenes where is being ushered
in the barbecue. Let those who hunger
for a delight undreamed of in their poor
philosophy HE them hence to Dixieland
and call upon the Rome Tribune. There
win be planned for them a Roman holiday
Of which the gods themselves ne'er
dreamed. But TO sniff the sweet aroma
Of one Georgia barbecue and Brunswick
stew IS worth three-day journey in a
box car. In no Buddhist temple burns
incense one-half SO sweet; nowhere on
earth blooms flower to match it.
Then adds the Tribune:
Each person present is furnished with large
hunk Of baTbecued meat fresh from the spit. seF-
eral thick slices OF light bread and a bowl Of
Brunswick stew, and in the course Of time, few
rounds Of ice cold beer are served lust enough to
Whet the appetite. and the task Of putting away
the harbeeued meat and Brunswick stew begins Dur
ing this editying process there is little time for
conversation; there is not much noise except that
which is caused by the erunehing OF the bones and
tearing Of the meat"
Have done, oh, minstrel; stay thy lay
awhile! Here let Us rest and take our
ease. What more need now be said?
Across the weary waste of miles that
separate us from thee We seem TO hear
the erunching Of the bones and the tear.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24
SAN FraneIseo,s Scandal

From the Springfield Republican.
The labor union" government of San
Francisco is exactly as responsible fer
the gross corruption exposed during its
tenure Of power as a Republican or Dem
OcTatic government would be-no more and
no less. Labor in politics, it can at least
be said, does not necessarily serve as a
cleaning agent. The conditions in San
Francisco were undoubtedly vile for long
before Mayor Sehmitz reached Office, with
Ruef as his Omnipotent chief Of stan. but
the political rise of unionism in that city
has seemed TO afford the spoilers a new
and exceptional opportunity for their loot
Ing operations. The great mass of labor
unionists are honest men. and they desire
good government, like the great mass of
people In general But they allow them
selves 10 come under the political control
OF detestable leaders, just as very decent
people do throughout the land
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24
BORROWING TRoUBLE.


Now, the very woFst things that might happen. yeu
know
Are the things that dent happen at all.
We fdget and very. lamenting and sony,
lE the grasp Of espectancy's thEal
ApFreheusive foTebedngs cucumber our souls
Depression weighs down like a PAIL
So wear long face with q very poor grace
And then nothing happens at all.
When We prophecy storms it is sure TO clear on,
When cur moneys gone, something comes in
And the thoughts II those bills which have given as
chls
Every month shouldn't make rs grow thin
For they ay down the past Ike the leaves on the
blast,
We settle up. somehow, and Why
Do We bother and fret over what We forget
Before many days havs passed bYg
We were not carried ef By that terrible cough
And IN fact twasnt much. coIae 10 think
All pains and our aches and cur dreadful mis-
takes
Why, they, toe, have slid over the brink
OF the gulf that forgets: yet still wiring cur
hands
Predicting some ruinags fan.
Approaching disaster We bail as our master
And then nothing happens at all
Elliot Walker, IN sgaEs Mamsats
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24
Movement Against LOBBYISTS

Gov. Woodruff, Of Connecticut. mas
joined the goodiy company of State execu-
tives who are striving to devise practical
means for huIlifying completely or curb
ing within prescribed limits the balefll
activities of professional lobbyists and or
ganized Hobbies. The movement to this
end has been rife in the West for some
years and in several States in that sec
tion its results are already apparent in
better legislation and a higher class Of
legislators. The line of cause and effect is
plainly marked Wherever the lobby iq
strongest, the personnel Of the legislature
is weakest. The lobby's influence extends
to the nomination and election of its tools.
Thus. with the diminution of the infiu-
eRce Of lobbies at State capitals the voters
are left freeF TO choose capable and honest
men TO make their laws. The overwhelm-
ing majority Of voters are honest and
well-intentioned. They are not bought
with the lobbys money, though all too
frequently they are deceived By the power
OF that money, resulting in their election
Of legislators who go to the legislature 10
do the bidding of the lobbyists.
As a rule. the professional lobbyist Is a
creature of low character. He scruples at
nothing 70 carry his point. Bribery in one
form or another is his principal weapon.
Deception Is another. Where the one falls
short, the other is employed. He Is as IA
miliar a figure at every legislative assem-
bly, in the eountry-from the town council
10 the State legislature. and even the Con-
gress of the United states-as are the
representatives, chosen by the people. His
presence Is an insult not only TO the in
telligenee and honesty Of the legislators,
but also 10 the intelligence of the people.
and is a grotesque travesty of representa-
tive government. He is the hired agent OF
special interests that seek undue public
favors and advantages. He is the enemy
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24
RooseveIt 90 the Tnrin.

From the MilWaukee Journal
It is extremely unfortunate for the coun-
try and it should be said TO the Repub-
lican party as well, that the President is
so unconcerned about the tariff. II is a
public evil which overshadows all the
others with all respect to the opinion OF
the President. 1t is the great question of
the day and It will almost certainly be the
pTedomnating issue in the approaching
Presidential campaign, in spite of the ef-
forts OF the stand-patters aud the tariff
fed trusts TO keep It in the background.
1t Is clear that 10 the grea. mass of the
people the moral. the ethical side of the
tariff. as we'll as the financial side. does
appeal. and there can be no question as 70
the response they viii make when the
opportunity to express their convictions
comes 70 them
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24
BREAKFAST TABLE CHAT.

From the Detroit Free Press
Woe at the op'ry.
The hero gets in trouble.
His sweetheart scorns his hand;
Her father turns him out of doors,
He seeks foreign land.
And then when Nellie starts to cry,
In confidence I'm told.
Tis not a tear that dims her .eye.
She has a frightful cold.
The lovers part and villainy
Appears 10 reign supreme:
Deception, trickery, and lies
Have shattered loves sweet dream.
hear a sob. and turn my head.
But quickly ] am told:
Don't think that l am crying. Ed.
have frightful cold
There's not a sad play ever shown
But what this scene appears;
And VIII, the curtain falls I find
Fair Nellie mopping tears.
And eve.y time she makes this bluff
A musty one and old;
She tells in lumpy voice and Eruff:
Il have a frightful cold.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24
Mr.. AIdrich's Best Prose.

From The Boston Herald.
There are differences Of opinion as to
what is the best achievement of Mr.
Aldrieh in prose, but there is no doubt
as to what was his own preference in
this respect, At a dinner party not long
ago he was asked the question. and he
promptly named Marjorie Daw." He
said. furthermore. that this story had
been translated into several languages
adding that he preferred the French
version TO the English. This was a rather
neat compliment to his French translator,
as well as TO the unequaled resources
of the French language for expressing
delicate shades of meaning.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24
You Pav 20 Come Here Not.

Frnm he Railway Void
Experience Of the hotels at Washing
ton. D. c.. demonstrates how rigidly the
railroads are living up TO the anti
pass law. At one OF the big Washington
hotels it was said that ordinarily about
200 pieces OF baggage q week were checked
on railroad passes. During last week not
d piece of such baggage was checked, and
for three weeks only two trunks were
checked on railroad passes. For years
pretty nearly everybody coming to Wash
ington or going anywhere from Wash
ington Travelled on a nass.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24

ling Of the meat Oh. We know full well
the braln-storms that those barbecues en-
gender, and We know. the ravenous and
reckless abandon with which the as
sembled hosts rush madly TO the fray.
Nay, It's not the lce-eoid beverages served
20 whet the Appetite of which the Tribune
sings that does the work. II is the tanta-
iising fumes borne impartially by gentle
zephyrs from guest to gGest that produce
this sweet summer madness among the
people.
Having thus bade hearty welcome to
gentle. blushing spring. Romans. in per-
feet and abiding content. wend their way
homeward to sleep and dream of Para
disc, where, and where alone. other and
more perfect happiness shides.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24
Our Astounding Prosperity.

From the Previdence Journal
It is proof OF our astounding national
prosperity that within the last six months
the railroad and industrial securities of
the country have suffered a shrinkage of
three billion dollars in selling value, and
yet labor is fully and remunerativeIy en-
ployed, every sort of business is active,
the railways are earning more money than
ever, and the only clouds on the horizon
are those that an Imaginative pessimism
cOnjures-
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24

Milwaukee Sentinel: Hail to the re-
/ Mobilization OF whiskers." says The
Washington Herald. Yes. but not the
side-wheel kind.
Punxsutawney Spirit: The Washington
Herald says the people are certainly push
/ ing along ''mollycoddIe" and 'vvhang-
doodle As both are centenarians, they
need a little help.
Augusta Herald; The Washington Her
aid is now asking. What is the singular
of grapefruit" That's easy. The singu-
lar of grapefruit is just twice as much
as one gets when one orders one in a
dining ear
Indianapolis Star: "Are the seasons
changing?" asks The Washington Herald.
Well, up here We still use pepper, rain.
sleet salt, snow, slush, vinegar, mud,
ice, nutmeg, hail, frost. and. occasionally.
a bit of sunshine, the year through
Rome (Ga) Tribune: Did you ever
hear Of a rife that wasn't 'trusty, or a
wrecked ship that wasn't fI-fated?' 4"
asks The Washington Herald. Yes, we
nave AtNiA N VI sumo AtAt0 AlEL were IIUSIy.
and of some wrecked ships that went
down with "eolors iying' and the band
playing.
Farmville (Fa) Herald: The Washing
ton Herald says that the hen is the
champion trust buster of the season
Chicago. with the aid OF storage. had
cornered the egg market and was about
to make the house wives squeal. when the
noble hen, without any growing. came to
the rescue.
Charleston News and Courier: ''The
Washington Herald Is hereby informed
that the plural Of grapefruit is pompa-
mooses. Now. what's the plural OF
shad?' asks the Newark Star. The
Charleston News and. Courier, which
knows everything, would answer ''shad-
docks" we have no doubt. Washington
Herald. Try roe-the most plural of all
things.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24
senator HaIe's Little story.

Senator Hale was never known to Illus
trate a point in q Senate speech with a
joke, He reserves such erlanations of
his mind for his home folks down in
Maine In a st. Patrick's Day speech at
Ellsworth last Monday the austere Sena-
tor told this.
Two tramps were conversing over d pail
of hot ale These is terrible times" said
one, as he set down the smoking pail and
wiped his mouth.
They certainly Is" the other answered.
a feller can't even ask for woik now
adays without bein offered H."
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24
KNOCKING TINE.

His head appears above the crowd;
knock. knockers. kpoek
He rises and his iaok is proud
knock, knockers. knock
The work he does is causing men
To pause and nosiee now and then;
His head above the crowd apptaTs;
A few accord him feeble cheers;
KNOCK, knOckers, knock
His glad old dreams are coming true;
knock, knoekers, knock
he is no longer one Of y0u;
Knock. knockers knock
Sheer 81 the honors he has won,
Rslittle sll that he has done;
His DAYS Of eommanness are past,
Mems notiee he commands. at last
knock, knockers knock
-cbiago Rssosd- Herald.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24
seIf-denyinE Patriot.

From the Chicago Tribune.
masmuch as Tom Lawson has disclosed
the methods by which Wall street oper-
stor can make 500, 00o,0co In day his
forbearance in making only 100000 the
other afternoon assumes an aspect of
rigid self-denial.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24
And Befters

Il lodged church this morning, and the
still, small voice has been reproaching me
all day"
Wouldn't 1t have been easier to listen
to a thirty minute discourse from the
parsOn2"
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24
several More at Home.

From the Chicago Record Herald.
This certainly is a great country. ]. p
Morgan. Nelson W. Aldrich, and Joseph
G. Cannon are in foreign parts, but it is
going along without jolt. just the same
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24
The Cost of wolves.

Vernon Bailey. one OF Chief Forester
Clifford Pinchots bright young men. has
been making original investigations Of the
ravages of wolves on the ranches OF the
Southwest and has reduced the subject to
dollars and cents. Presumably the wolves
Mr. Bailey has been studying live IN the
forest reserves, or he probably would not
have had the opportunity tc make Sc
unique a contribution TO the literature of
Chief Forester Pinchots bureau. He de-
clares that in a certain part OF New
Mexico he learned that a moderate esti-
mate of the stock killed by four wolves
Of which he got trace was a yearling
COW or a calf every three days. OF ap-
proximately, 100 head Of cattle to each
wolf a year Counting all as calves, %
says Mr.. Bailey. "at the low rate Of SO
a head, each wolf would. at this rate. cost
the ranchman Sl,0o0 year This estimate
of 5000 for the four wolves leaves out
OF consideration the five to tan hungry
offspring Of each pair. which begin to
kill stock for themselves in the fail and
continue TO do so as long as they live"
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24
rnmmnn Errnr.

Then you haven't what I want?"
mo: but we have something tliat is
practically just as good"
You mean that is theoretically just
as good"
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24
A difference

When In the window Mollie sees
An Easter bonnet gay,
She says It is a perfect dream,
And wants IL right away.
But II upon a neighbor's head
The same hat looms in sight,
Then MOliie In disgust declares
That It's a perfect fright
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24
A ChnnRc.

Father-Aiy boy, there's no time Ike
the present.
Son-Theres no present like a time.
piece, dad.
Whereupon another dollar watch Was
furnished an attendant
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24
The nemocrafic nIrinIon.

From the Omaha Bee.
The Democrats are rapidly dividing into
two elasses-those who swear by Bryan
and those who swear at him
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24

Gov. Warner, of Michigan, has cor
nered the cheese factories of that State.
He ought 10 be able TO form some sort
of combination with Gov. Hoke Smith, OF
Georgia. who has cornered all the
crackers"
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24

According TO the Portland Oregonian,
the merry -gO-rOunds are now made with
three and four horses abreast. And still
some people insist that these are not pros
porous times
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24

The Charleston News and Courier says
there was no civil war in this country. A"
Hasn't the News and Courier heard of the
Senate's action IN reference to that sub
iect, and Senator Tillman's great speech
in appreciation?
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24
shutting the Door OF Hope.

From the PittsbuEg DisHaieh.
supt Maxwell OF the New York public
schools, says only athletes should Be
teachers. What Is the moilycoddis e %,
anyway
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24
A standpatter Fixed.


The most distinguished lame duck of
the last House who has been taken care
of by the President is the Hon. James Z.
McCleary, of Minnesota, who viii become
Second Assistant Postmaster General
April l. He was defeated by a Democrat
who made a tariff reform campaign. Mr.
McCleary, a member OF the Ways and
Means Committee in the last Congress,
was an even more rigid and immovable
standpatter than Speaker Cannon He
met the issue bravely in his district, and
was surprised beyond expression when
the returns showed that he had been
beaten While still an ayowed standpatter,
Mr.. McCieary admits that probably a
few of the Dingley schedules might be
shaved down little; but as 20 reciproe-
ity, ne would have none except on the
basis of the maximum and minimum,
with the present rates as the minimum.
II is said to be his intention to make the
fight over next year on a platform as
here outlined.
Mr. Mccleary was one Of the most dis
tinguished educators in the country be-
fore coming 10 Congress fourteen years
ago. His speciality was conducting nor
NAL institutes for teachers in the summer
time. and in his work he labored ID Min
nes0ta. Wisconsin. the DakOtRs. Virginia.
Tennessee, and Colorado He never held
Office until he entered Congress. where he
ranked among the scholarly men OF the
House.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24
Something to Remember.

Prom the Charleston News and Courier.
Cuba cannot be annexed without the
Cubans.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24

Mr.. Clark Howell says: What this
country needs are trains that will not
only run on time. but on the track as
well" Yes this old idea about cutting
across lots has about played out
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24

The Chicago News suggests Taft and
Fairbanks as harmony ticket. A sort
OF ''streak o lean and streak o fat"
proposition.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24

The California grand jury might save
time by simply enumerating the things
for which Ruef is not to be indicted.
and then charge him with everything left
in one blanket bill
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24

On application for bail upon the part OF
Abe" Ruef, the court named $50 900 as
the proper amount II is thought that
will hold Abe" for while.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24

a statistician has figured It that on ore
half Of the railroad mileage in the United
States last year not one passenger was
killed That was evidently the railroads
better half
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24
De Almond, Tourist.

No Democratic member Of Congress has
travelled around the country and visited
the governments distant possessions with
members Of the administration as much
as Representative David A De Armond
OF Missouri. who is the sole Democrat
with Secretary Taft's party now on its
way to inspect the Panama Canal, Cuba.
and Porto Rico. Incidentally it may be
remarked that no Democratic member Of
critic Of the administration and the Re
publican party generally as is Judge De
Almond He took the long trip to the
Philippines with the famous Taft party
two years ago and the observations he
then made have provided him with ma
terial for assaults upon the administra-
tions insular policy upon which ne drew
freely at the last two sessions Of Con-
gress. Although not a member Of the
House Committee on Insular Affairs the
Missourian has made close study OF the
questions involved in the attempt to con-
struct for this government "A colonial
policy in harmony with the spirit Of our
Institutions. and on frequent occasions
he has given frank expression to the opin-
ion that thus far the endeavor has been
failure. While he and Secre etary Taft
are cordial friends. Judge De Armond
does not hesitate TO cTiticise the SeCTe-
tary's administration Of insular affairs
and 1t Is presumed that he will have
much 20 say upon the subjects Of Pan
anna, Cuba. ana Porto Rico al the next
session Of Congress.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24

Senator Tillman Is succeeding admira-
bly, in convincing the people Of the South
that he does not know what they think
about the race problem.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24
An old Trick.

From The Detroit Free Press.
In other words, while Mr. Frick did the
jostling, Mr.. Hartman made the touch.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24

The Augusta Chronicle was burned out
recently. but as Editor Loyless WASH (,
the loss is not irreparable.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24

The unexpected seems to have hap
pened in the case of Richard Mansfield
and his leading lady. She Is getting more
advertising out of it than be is.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24

A large section Of the ceiling fell down
the other day while a speech was being
made before the Russian Douma. The
next member who speaks may succeed
in bringing down the house.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24

Wisconsin boasts a State senator who
refuses 20 draw a cent OF his pay. Il
will be necessary TO draw profusely on
your imagination in order TO accept that
story.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24
One Way.

Lives OF great men all remind US
We can climb 10 any station;
If we have the gift Of CAB, and
Talk for publication.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24

"Rebuke to the fool is loss Of time, ''
says the Baltimore American. Not al
ways. Sometimes a swift kick availeth
much.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24

If Col. George Harvey Is not careful
the President will be forced 10 reduce
him to the ranks.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24

Dowie promised to return In i.e00 years
1900 times more terrible" Perhaps his
next attempt to reform New York City
may be attended with better results.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24
OrderInr In Boston,

What would you like for supper. Mis-
Backbay7'
Really. / hardly know"
"CAnt you think Of somethingg"
"Oh, anything nitrogenous will do"
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24

Jefferson Day dinners now range from
s. 10 SO plate. Another result Of "the
increased cost of living"
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24

Perhaps however, no city ever needed
bath worse than Pittsburg.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24

When a man with a million is on trial
for murder. the jury seems 20 get most
Of the punishment meted out
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24

A Chicago professor says, Poetry is
evidence of barbarism." This approx
mately fixes the status OF the near.
poets.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-24
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
SAVED AGAIN.

The most reeoureefuI bard gets stuck
Sometimes.
And has no earthly sort OF luck
With rhymes
IT'S very. very hard TO grind
And scheme
A poem out when one can't find
A theme.
When one consumes a theme each day,
You know,
ones stock is apt to dwindls way
Down low.
And when one has no theme at all.
wis.
One has to travel on ones gall,
Like this.