davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23
RULES FOR A MAN WHO 10 CON.
TGMPLATIN0 MATRlMoNY.

Facts to ASCERTAIN when meeting an
attractive young woman with whom
you may fall in love:
Is she selfish? You can tell this in
three ways: BY the manner in which
she listens to what you say: by the
way she accepts what you do for her:
and by the difference between the way
she treats you and the way she treats
others.
Is she tickle? II she talks about
light things she isn't. Deep. she Is.
Is she extravagant? By the way
she protests against your spending
money on her. and always arranges
matters SO that you cant help but
do 1t.
Ia she q bad housekeeper7 BY the
way she dresses. II she isn't spic
and span, she isn't. II she is, then
she is.
THE SOLUTION.
When you have satisfied your mind
that she is all of these things. marry
her at once, II you can get her. for
the following reasons:
First. because II she really loves you
she will change.
Second, because II you love her, 1t
will be SO much more interesting.
Third. because you are probably
mistaken about her. anyway.-Judge.
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23

He-A person should never boast Of
his possessions.
She-Why not?
We'll, read only to-day of circus
elephant at Innsbruck, Germany,
which had $40 worth of gold taken out
OF a filled tooth one night"
Cant see what that has to do With
it"
well, II the elephant had kept it's
mouth shut. 1t couldn't have lost IT.
Yonkers Statesman.
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23
Wouldn't 90 Round,

Mrs. Winks-It's a perfect outrage,
Mr.. Winks. The idea Of inviting those
gentlemen to dinner. when you knew
the house was full-of company. Why,
it will make thirteen at table!
Mr.. Winks-Surely you are not
superstitious about that? Having
thirteen at table won't worry me in
the least.
Mrs. Windshield, 1t will when you
see what a small joint the butcher has
sent.
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23

Fireman. have the honor to an
nounce that the fire is in the fourth
reach only to the second.
Captain-Indeed! Then we'll have
to wait till the flames come down to
the second.
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23
Good Offices.

Woman was fallen between the devil
and the deep sea, so to say.
On the one hand, she strongly de-
sired to look round at somebody she
had passed. while on the other. con-
vention forbade her. Just here eyolu-
ton stepped in, with its good ofices.
Il will give you eyes in the back OF
your head" said evolution. Was not
that a happy outcome?-Puck.
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23
How the Baby Talked

Mr.. Bacon-I was up to see the
6mart's baby to-day.
Mrs. Bacon-Did they make him
talk!
YES"
what did he say?"
II couldn't understand. think it's
. great mistake for mother to teach
. child to talk when she has hair
pins in her mouth!"-Yonkers States
man.
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23
Right for Once.

Right for Once.
Redd-Whenever anything goes
wrong he blames 1t on his wife.
Greene-Is that fact?
yes; why only to-day they were
going out in their automobile and the
thing wouldn't bulge an inch
Blamed that on his wife. too. sup
pose?"
Sure! She had used up all the gas
oline he had in the tank cleaning her
gloves!"-Yonkers Statesman.
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23
A Gloomy Day.

Blinks-why do all the lawyers
about the courtroom look 30 glum To-
day?
Jinks-Why. haven't you heard? Mr..
Richman is dead.
He must have been very popular
among them.
mo; but he died without leaving
will."-N. Y. Weekly.
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23
A Mistaken impression.

"Of course" said the analytical
ausstioner. there is a great deal to
be said on both sides OF the question"
YES" answered Senator Sorghum.
TOO many OF US arc getting the idea
thSt all \ public question IL At for
nowadays Is to serve as the topic for
q good alk."-Washington Star.
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23

There il q great deal of injustice
In literature"
YES" answered Miss Cayenne;
they still insist on putting the name
of the author on book instead Of that
of the man who makes the handsome
cover design. Star.
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23

Men have reason to dread nimble-
tongued women. A certain clever au-
thoress was once asked by . writer of
the opposite sex who is not remark
able for civility: Wouldn't you like to
be . MANI
To this the lady readily replied:
Wouldn't your"
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23

THAT boy of ours is certainly going
to be at the head of big trust some
day." said Farmer Kornkob with pride.
as he laid down the Weekly Screech.
What makes you think 30. Hiram"
asked his wife.
His teacher at school says he re-
fuses to answer questions. "-Milwau-
kee Sentinel.
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23
Exactly.

IT think 1 know the secret Of your
daughters nervous condition my dear
madam. but her youth is In her favor"
"Oh. doctor, what is IT."
"She is suffering from a cardiac
fracture"
"Oh, what heartbreaking news!"-
Baltimore Sun.
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23

Gmptyins q Dormitory.
Waterman (breathlessly) - The
boys dormitory is on FIRE, and II they
nnd It out they'll stop to save their
footballs. bats and things. and per-
tSh.
Boarding-school Principal (Quickly)
Notify the boys that oil who are not
Downstairs in two minutes won't get
any pie.-N. Y. Weekly.
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23

Yeast-what do they want to find
the northpole for?
Crimsonbeak-They don't want to
ind 1t.
well, they're all the time looking
for II,
NO they're not. They're all the
time looking for excuses for not find
ing it."-Yonkers Statesman.
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23

Mrs. Hayseed treading from the
medical almanac)-Portland cement
and skinned milk make an excsllsnt
paint
Mr.. Hayseed lin the dairy businessl
-PaiKs! Git out. 1t makes crea1.-N-
Y. Weekly
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23
decd Memery and Dad.

Customer-Cigar-smoking IL said to
have 4 deleterious effect ON the mem
DRY. Are you aware Of that?
Gluckstein-I can quite believe 1t.
For instance, you have not yet paid for
that box Of cigars you had last Christ
mas.
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23

I'm afraid" said the embryo states
man, that Ill never be able to mold
public opinion"
''Oh, don't know" rejoined the
political boss. Some Of the stories
you Introduce in your speeches are
rather moldy.-Chjcago NswA
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23
Comforting.

Injured Man. What do you think OF
my chances, doctor?
Physician. Well. the internal injury
will. undoubtedly. prove fatal; but
(sacosraSingly) You have nothing to
W. froa the broken arm!
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23
Like Meeting Like.

That she murmured ruefully. as
the patrol wagon drove on with Its
battered freight, was the clashing
of two hard Wills"
I'm what way. my girl?" asked the
sympathetic bystander.
1.-THE contact of my Williams head
with the policefnan's billy."-Balti-
more American.
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23
The Quick Lunch Elend.

TIC 0VICK IUHCH r IeNOs
Heboltsasandwichand somebeans,
Apieceortwoofpie:
Andgulpsacupofcoffee
Whileyoucanbatyourey
Then. later on, there comes to him.
A very common question:
He wonders how 1t was that he
CONTRACTED INDIGESTION! -
Milwaukee Sentinel.
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23

How did you enjoy the opera?'
Very poor. It had plenty of horse
power, but one of the cylinders was
missing most of the ume."-Life.
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23
Hs Knew.

Bacon-saw you with a strange lady
yesterday.
Egbert-Yes.
who was she?"
my wife"
But 1 thought 1t was q strange
LADY,"
80 It was. I'd have you know my
wife's . very strange lady."-Yonkers
Statesman.
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23

"Tompkirs can't get over those old
habits Of his before he sold his horse
and bought an auto"
what now?"
He always stops his machine to
PICK up = Observation-Disclosures
Sentinel.
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23
Whers Il Went.

Patience-What was the matter
with your cook?
Patrice-Said she couldn't get
enough to eat at our house.
well, was there any ground for this
complaint"
Perhaps there was. Shed had
enough II she hadn't spoiled SO much
in tho cooking!"-Yonkers States
man.
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23
Why He ekIddooed.

A bul1frog who lived near a pool
Saw some kids playing hockey from
school.
Then he shook his wise head
Az he skiddooed and said,
Boys like frogs hind legs as a rule!"
Judge.
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23

Mistress-You are an impertinent
hussy, an ugly cat, and spiteful girl
Pack up your things at once.
Maid-I can only respectfully say to
madam that l have spitten in her
chocolate for the last fortnight.
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23

First chorus GIRL Just got &C.
quainted with . millionaire.
Second chorus girl-Pittsburg or
pIaia-Ia6n.
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23

He-Mrs. Hopper's reception was
quite an old-fashioned affair.
She-Indeed.
He-Yes. Why. the refreshments
served were actually good to eat
Chicago News.
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23
Thoushtful.

Say. pa. won't you buy mo .
drum?"
mo. I'm afraid you'd disturb me
with the noise"
mo 1 won't. pa; I'll only drum when
you're asleep."-Life.
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23

For sale. on easy payments. 100
choice lots. Wsli-drained, rich soil.
Good grounds for aiv0rcs-JDdgo.
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23

All things come to him who waits.
Perhaps that's true. Well, let 'em.
With me. the only things l got
1 had to go and get em.
-Jud1e
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23
N arie.

There once was a girl named Marie
'T am lonely. SO lonely" said she.
When he asked her to wed.
She answered and said:
''Yes. stree, yes, stree, yes. street"
Milwaukee Sentinel.
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23

Bill-Well. its "all aboard" for me
now!
Gill-Going to see the yacht race?
Bill-Nope; going to build fence.
IN. Y. Telegram.
One Thing or the Other.
When hckle Fortune tackles men.
We're hither. thither hurled;
And then It's said of certain folks.
world!
the
in
They're way up
But others, not so lucky in
This bunetinx about,
Are thus described. in pointed phrase.
Poor things, they're
down
and
out."
Life.
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23

Dinks-I Just won ten dollars on
. horse that didn't have any tail.
Winks-I just lost ten dollars on
one that didn't have any head.
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23
A aead One.

Magistrate. You are charged with
stealing q dog. What have you to
say?
Prisoner. The dog followed me
home.
Magistrate. But the policeman says
1t did so because you had some liver
about you.
Prisoner Well. man can't walk
about without his liver, can he?
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23
Two ciphsrs.

He-They say his income runs Into
I'VE figures.
she-Yes. counting the decimal
places.-Puck.
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23
The Natural Result.

PA, what happens when railroad
cars are telescopedr'
II suppose the passengsrs see
starp,"-Baltimors American,
The Meeker herald., 1907-11-23

Prisoner. The dog followed me
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1907-01-10
D> C. HUGHES.

Miss Bernard)
40 p ,ndren; OF for
4 ,"' = sixteen shall be permitted
sal ~ firm corporation / n
ser'o ' 'ing school Of
Turing public schools child resides
IRE in session. parents
other responsible
Upon being
the satisfaction the Hoard
which child shall Employment
such child the
ncer shai be inspect places
minors
RIGHT INSPECTION
Factory
places where m ninorsa are employed
FoRBDDNG DANGEROUS EMPLoYAIENTs.
No child SHAH be employed
posons lead
or goods Of immoral where
steam where may
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1907-01-10

In South Oxford street. Broadway.
Friends from New York 10 California
remembered the birthday anniversary
and the letterH and messages OF con
graduation received during the day
by she famous divine would fill a
bushel basket,
Dr. Cuyler Is Q native OF New York
state and gTadu2sg OF Princeton
Theological SEMINARY He was or
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1907-01-10

How much OF your life Is spent try
ing TO get we'll II requires but a
month or less TO put the average man
or woman on their feet with Hollis
ter's Rocky Monntain Tea. 35 cents,
Tea or Tablets G. r.. Renfro.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1907-01-10

dained TO the ministry sixty years ago
and during the greater part OF his
active career was pastor of the La
fayetto Avenue Presbyterian church
Of Brooklyn.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1907-01-10
by MIR. HANRATY.

Relating to Mines and Mining
shall established and maintained the Office of
be elected by the people and
less than eight () actual
experience his
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1907-01-10
oR. cuLYsR.s ssrH eIarApAY
tBy Associated Press J

New York. Jan. Surrounded by
his family and friends the Rev. DR.
Theodore 4. Cuyler. noted throughout
the world OF Presbyterianism as a
pulpit orator, temperance advocate
and phllanthropist. today celebrated
his eighty-ffth birthday II his home
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1907-01-10

A rainbow trout weighing more
THAI nine pounds has been caught In
England. A record catch mst year
Was A sixteen pound river trout caught
q the Test at Romsey.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1907-01-10
rAE rExAs WoNnER.

cures an KMney. Bladder and Rheu'
matte troubles Sold by ali druggist,
or two months treatment by mail for
S100 Dr. e. W Han. 2926 Olive
street. ST. Louis. Mo.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1907-01-10

dares ind boundary streams
9TH As Consulting Engineer of other state Commissions
engineering any
state institutions. when requested &a nev @
GS Re4gfJ
Oklahoma Engineering Society
Tor County Engineer
The County
be n
Officers who shall have all highway
shall control lands this
this years
from date Of requirement dispose
MITCH
Providing Public
expended for the support of
aectarian institutions
Section The Legislature appropriation any
college university other institution
SAVAGE
Protecting the Individual
transportation
the freight private
companies associations
Protection
The legislature game
birds. and for penalties for violation this provision.
by J.. R. COPELAND, DISTRICT NO g.
b9uall Relative to Marriage
be forever prohibited
MWNMWM WMMEHI Liquor Traffic.
manuacu giving otherwise furnishing
hereinafter
prohibited
this
a otherwise proper
elaton corporate manufacture
e barter give otherwise
und including beer ale and wine the
ion who shall within this State advertise
within therein
conviction thereof than dollars
ature provide by law for under the supervision this
state each incorporated
and If there population
ony county entitled to have one such agency
the purposes
the United Ryenue
md for the sle alcohol
} liquors
shall
dollars liquors
compounding
prescriptions or other medicines the sale of which would not subject him
states and the
hall constitute pro-
sIons section except upon state
nent of the applicant writing setting
be used purposes
apoheee
accomplished by pacing
physician which prescription shall
hall be duly registered
vs and prescriptions pertaining thereto inspection by
my officer citizen during business hours
WY person who shall knowingly purpose
oresad shall be deemed Any physician shall pre-
ebe such liquor treatment his own
personal diagnosis require such treatment shall upon
conviction thereof be by fine Of not less than
"o hundred dollars by thirty da or
both such fine and imprisonment person connected with any
eh agency who shall be any disposition
liquor contrary to these provisions punished by Imprisonment
or not less than one an" this State
"o 'nF ~ shall be Immediately enforceable in the !
Dl HUGHES
t Miss Benardl
~ Ious OF Iabor and 10
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1907-01-10
NUMBER OF VOTES CAST
IN THE INDIAN TERRITORY

Secretary
OF 81 9Svotes
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1907-01-10
Various Propositions Pend
NH ing Before the Convention


BY MIR. MccLAfN.
For Insurance Commissioner.

Commissioner.
Section There Office
shall the
had experience and be skilled matters pertaining
Insurance sss
Sec The term of onice shall be four ca years and his salary
shall
together with his while the
Of his
His o OF a
domestic business
n
his duty issue license or certificate authority
ned that the complied with the the
governing nsurance companies
Legislature levy tax one per on
Including Faen Companies business
state
The Legislature
soliciting schedule
License the entire ..........,.... $1,000
county ...............,....
License to work ........,...A.
soliciting
holds the ncenie Commissioner
See NO LEGAL RESERVE
permitted
three and Onehaf
perience Mortality Table
Commissioner the authority to grant
license companies and conduct
within may prescribed
BY law but no such license shall be granted for
~
power revoke any by him
conducting
exposition the business
association. as he may deem essential
any association
he this nsovent
capital impaired render
its by insolvency
the Commissioner of inioane shall take charge
within the state Of
Ger the prescribed
Sec 49, The report
business Office
Company business this
recommend legislation
eeng the business insurance
Sec ~ All examination
made by the said Commissioner price
the
The fee Of such examination shah revert to the
BY MIR. FRYE
Relating Territory Adjacent Cities
how Such Territory BE Detached
Resolved That the part
That whenever lying
adjacent
lawful authority alloys
heretofore been by law other authority
towns for municipal other
municipal authorities
With petition writing signed by
thereof minor otherwise
disqualified The asking any
may be SO detached he authority
detaching ersuron part
such city for
BY MR. HUMPHREY
Reque)
Oklahoma Engineering Society.
Providing
The Legislature shall provide for
oheo Surveyor General Consulting
other
lie shall be salary OF
100000
His appointment shall be to politics
PERTAINING TO THE DUTIES THE STATE ENGINEER
The State Engineer eha Surveyor
Ing Engineer the Rro Irrigation Highway
Commissions.
lie shall be required to furnish his ability
duty prescribed shall per
He shall be Governor appointment shall
made without politics
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1907-01-10


where employment them stand constantly
VIOLATIONS AND PENALTIES
guardians yohg this act shall be fined
additional FIVE dollars day for
every day employment continues
Craken the Standard Child Labor Iaw)
HANRATY
Relating to and Mining
established maintained the Office of
be the people and
practical than co actual
experience be until his
s and qualified. shall be lie
bond required by law saabe
n shall provided for him by the State
Assembly shall provide by time to
Assistants the Chief Inspector
Assembly provide the
nnes
appliances necessary protect
the mines shall make such regulations
necessary,
minerals
mineral oil and from wells and the protection Of the
str and rivers Of this being polluted
failure a mine mine lessee, to
comply with the laws and regulations
thereof
responsible for damages to
the life health of employees other persons resulting from
neglect failure.
Sec 8 Legislature prescribe
screened
pounds shall constitute a
10 and girls
employed the this State
Eight han be the maximum days work in all the
this of
the Assembly this shall make provision
by law for the safe operation mines act Congress approved
1891 amendments approved
the protection lives miners the territories shall be in
orcea as o
Inspector appoint competent
Their
shall Assembly
law prescribe
MrCII)
Establishment OF school the ba-d
legislature establish school the blind
and
tal Shall provide for the location
CD The suitable buildings
tc Rules regulations education
(d) Its support
This school shall be the provided
for the Normal schools.
BIRTHDAY Oxford broadway
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1907-01-10

tcn Of standard plans highway bridges County
the highway County
boundary
Consulting COMMISSIONS Of con
other
state institutions. when requested Ga lsv ra
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-26
CANNON LISTENS.
But He Makes No Promises Regard
ing Committee Assignments

Washington Nov. 26.-Speaker
Cannon is dividing his time these days
between his dentist and the members
| or the house. who are seeking COM
! mlttee assignments. The afternoons
are given to the members. but while
he listens carefully to all of them, he
mas not SO far made any promises.
lie speaker is hopeful of completing
his assignments before the Christmas
holidays
The Fffty-ninth congress had been in
session only seven days when the
speakers announcement was made,
the time being the briefest time ever
taken by speaker in filling the COM
m1ttees except in the Ffrty-third con-
sreSS when only four days were re-
CURED. In the Fifty-ninth congress
20 DAYS were required, put that con-
gress convened early in November,
leaving the speaker less time for pre-
paratfon in advance of the meeting
than he had in 1905 and will have
this year.
Speaker Henderson took only
days to form the committees for the
Fffty-seventh E! congress. The longest
time taken in recent years to this was
III days which Speaker Reed allowed
to elapse before naming the COM
mittees for the Fifty-fifth congress, the
That congress met on March Is and
the committees were not organized
until the latter part of the summer.
There were several efforts on the part
of the Democrats and Populists to
force earlier action, but the speaker
held his ground and refused to make
his selections until ready to do so.
In the Forty-second congress Speak
er Blaine consumed nine months time
after the congress convened in select
ing his committeeman and there was
almost as much delay in the Fortieth
when the fight against President
Johnson was in progress
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-26
HORNE STILL HELD.
Witnesses of Kansas City Shooting
Called Before Grand Jury.

Kansas City, Nov. 26.-Upon informa-
| ton filed by R. B. Bogie, business man
ager of the Kansas City Post, and Will
! liam Thompson, of the firm of Thomp-
son, Stanley & Price, attorney for o.
D. Woodward, the shooting of O. D.
Woodward and H. J. Groves by Colonel
r. G. Horne was brought to the atten-
ton of the grand jury yesterday after
noon. The jury took the matter up
promptly and examined these eyewit-
neSseS of the gunplay.
Willis P. King, editorial writer; Mrs
Lillian Hutton, society reporter; Miss
Helen Skaggs secretary to R B. Boyle;
Miss Mile Geddes, assistant society re-
porter; J. P. Hughes, sport editor;
Frank Ferguson, foreman of the COM
posing room; Robert Clarke, copy read
er, and Samuel Milinkowshy, copy boy.
Two or three more witnesses will be
before the jury, after which an indict-
ment of Colonel Horne on the charge
of assault with intent to kill is expect
ed to be returned to Judge w. H. Wal
lace. The jury will hasten the matter,
it is understood. because the county
prosecutors office has agreed to bring
no action to hold Colonel Horne until
the jury reports and the police are
weary of holding Colonel Horne in the
city prison without some charge being
placed against him.
Attorney Thompson stated that Col
onel Horne would be prosecuted to the
full extent and no effort made to
smooth the affair over.
Mr.. Woodward has instructed me to
follow the case up and institute GRIM
inal proceedings Thompson said. 1--WE
are not afraid that any statements
which Colonel Horce will make will in
jure the regulations of any of the men
he chooses to style his enemies. Mr..
Woodward wants a full and open inves-
tigation."
DR. B. L. Sulzbacher said today that
H J. Groves was much improved this
morning 1t was said at the hospital
that o. d. Woodward was better