Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-08
GETS THEM AT LAST

A Washington physician. just back from
attending congress of specialists in Wen
ma, unreeled some amusing stuff about sea-
sickness at an informal gathering of medi-
cal men assembled the other evening to well
come him home.
Il sailed from New York in the bad sea
month OF March. you know" he said,
and my companion on the voyage was
a famous old surgeon-known by repu-
tation to you all-whose name 1 can't d.
vulge because-wel because.
This afrable old boy had made eighteen
round trips on the Atlantic at all seasons
OF the year without ever having to turn In,
so he said, gentlemen-on account of sea-
sickness. I suppose there was nothing in
the amiable old gentlemans life OF which
he was more proud than that. with all Of
his voyaging, he had never been seasick.
On the way down New York harbor he
Dragged most valiantly to me Of the free
dom he'd always enjoyed from seasickness,
and he was extremely solicitous about how
l was going to make out in that respect,
for 1t was my first voyage.
YOU'RE bound to get It, old fellow
he said to me expansively, but you really
don't want to take 1t to heart too much.
I'll fix you up all right. I can't prevent 1t.
of course, but can take care of you, and
1t will be a pleasure to me to do that I
assure YOU
But I ventured to suggest to him.
why am 1 so bound to get it If you never
got III?
oh. I'm one out of the million in that
respect he replied in his fine old fashoned
offhand way. My case is extraordinarily
exceptional. Now when you feel it coming
on you-you'l probably begin to feel 1t
shortly after we swing past Sandy Hook
you want to just turn in as quick as you
can and take it easy. And he went ahead
with an elaborate bunch of explanations
In w fal %
seasickness gripping me.
After turning Sandy Hook we stepped
into nasty squall that kicked up a mean
cross-sea. I noticed that my fine old COM
panicn was becoming chalky. Then he sud
denly disappeared. I found him stretched
out in our double cabn little while la ter.
He was white napkin. The ships
surgeon. fine fellow and an old friend Of
my companion. was seated alongside of
him. and the ships surgeon gave ME an ex
tremely meaningful and significant wink
as l entered the cabin.
My friend, said the old boy on the
bunk to me soon as he saw me- this
scoundreliy ruffian,' pointing to the ships
surgeon, is trying to poison me. l can't
Imagine what in bazes his object is. but
that is what he is trying to do. little
while ago he called me aside and gave me
one Of those dad-gummed bottled cocktails
that he always has in stock, and here I am
knocked into a cooked hat and poisoned If
ever man was poisoned
Maybe. l said, giving the amused ships
surgeon the Office. you drank the cocktail
too soon after eating
Well. 1t may be that replied the fine
old boy. somewhat Modified when he
thought he saw that I didn't suspect what
really allied him. But whatever It is I'm
so Internally sick at the stomach that I can
hardiy see out OF my eyes, and if there's
anything you can
Then the steamers surgeon giving me
another of those shrewd winks. got in
suppose. John he said to the old
n hn hat al
" 'Seasick" beloved the old gentleman.
rising on an elbow in his bunk. 'Seaslck!
Doctor, addressing me, throw that
man out of the cabin for me. will
the years I've been crossing this in
fernal duck pond with never symp-
tom of seasickness. and never likely to
have symptom-doctor, If you don't throw
that man out of here I'll ring for my
steward and have him fetch a couple Of
coal beavers up here to throw him out!
Me seaslck. and then he was obliged to
forego any further conversation on the sub
iect for reasons which 1 could not, with
delicacy. give in detail.
When I got him on deck three days
later he was the sad-looking old gentleman.
and I think the fact that I hadn't missed
a meal served to increase his sadness
well. I'll have to alter my tour this
year. now he said to me, with great
gravity. when 1 got him on deck. L was
going to do the English cathedral towns
thoroughly again. but now that I've found
out that my liver is in such a bad way
nothing in the world put me down in my
bunk this time but liver-Tm going to
Carlsbad to take the waters and, of
course I had to recommend that he do just
that thing. for I knew that the waters
couldn't hurt him half as much as the
conviction expressed by me that he'd &C
tually been suffering from seasickness.
"On the return voyage. while making a
tour of the mems quarters with the ships
surgeon. came upon a deckhand who was
then and there seasick in his bunk for the
first time after having been following the
sea for nearly a quarter of century. He
was a British seaman. and yhen / came
upon him. limp in his bunk. he was never
theless fairly snorting in his wrath.
Me he was growing. "A bleedin' bloke
Of a fatfoot an shellback that's been
chewin salt 'orse and cracker-'ash ever
since e was knee Ugh tn bottom o Step
ney Stairs-me, a bloody. bloomink capn
O. tn foretop on a coffin ship two years
before Hi was ever liable t sing a bass
note or shave me own mug-me. that's been
sla m -bangin' an fizz-giggin' from Birken'ea
t. tn Straits O Sunda an from PenZeance
t Nagasaki all me bloomink life-'ere Hi
be a-sprawlin' on me back seasick, by tn
'orns O. tn devil, Hike a bloomnk nussgal
a-crossin' tn bloody channel for the fust
time-bloime me!