The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1907-07-17

"Why Is Jones wearing a beard?'
"Oh, | believe his wife made him
present of some ties."-Punch.
Mrs. Bridge Whist-What do you
discard from, strength or weaknessi
Debutante-From fright, principally
Life.
Sillicus-When would you say thai
a man reaches the age of discretiOni
Cynicus-When he realizes that he 1.
too old to marry.-Philadelphia Rec
ord.
81 sent ten cents for that sure way
to beat the races" "Wot dyer git
back?" "A nice, neat card with Keep
away from the track printed on it,
Puck.
when we were out automobiling
on the boulevard yesterday I stopped
to look at the rhododendrons." What
part of the car is rthat?"-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
She-What Is the correct transla-
tion of the motto on that lovely ring
you gave me? He-Faithful to the last.
She-The last? How horridl And you
always told me that was the very
first!-Pick-Me-U
Charlie Softleigh is thinking"
I'm glad to hear of that" But I
hadn't told you Of what he was think
Ing" "No, but the mere knowledge that
he was thinking made me glad
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Sillicus-He called me a blithering
idiot. Wigwag-What are you going
to do about 1t? Sillicus-I have written
to him demanding an explanation. l
can't find out just what blithering
means.-Philadelphia Record.
This magazine article says that
bachelors should be taxed" remarked
Mrs. Crouch. That's the way!" ex-
claimed Mr.. Crouch, vigorously. "A
man can't enjoy anything these days
without paying for it."-Judge.
Prison Keeper-That convict is what
| we call trusty. We can put him at
anything and be sure he won't try to
escape. Visitor-How remarkable.
Prison Keeper-Oh! don't know.
He's in for bigamy.-Philadelph
| Record.
"Oh! George" she exclaimed, now
that you've seen my new hat you SIM
ply can't regret that | got it. Isn't 1t
just a poem?" "Well, If it is," replied
John, 81 suppose a proper title for 1t
would be Owed to Milliner.' -
Philadelphia Press.
Thawabey-"But what have you
against my friend, Selley?" Bawker-
He has so many counfounded new
tangled metres. Thawabey-I admit
he's original there; but his matter Is
all right. There's nothing new in that.
Town and Country.
| Mr.. Justcott-Why, what are you
crying about, dear? Mrs. Justcott-Oh,
George! The mice have got into the
pantry and eaten up beautiful GUS
tard pie made myself! Mr.. Justcott-
There, there! Don't cry over few lit
tie mice.-Cleveland Leader.
Now here" said the enthusiastic
real estate agent 20 the prominent poll
tician, sis one of the most desirable
houses in the capital. 1t has exposures
all around" Good heavens!" cried
the prominent politician, with a start
of dismay, that's just what I'm trying
to get away from!"-Baltimore Amer
lean.
Lady ION train, hearing Scotchman
grunting with disgust on passing ad-
vertisement board)-Ah, l see you
lgree with me that those vandals
should not be allowed, to spoil this
lovely scenery by putting up such
hideous things. Sandy-Nay, 1t wasna
that. But she's no guild whuskey!-
Punch.
Miss Stiles-When I was walking
ON the avenue today, saw Mr.. Cut
ting Miss Chellus-Yes; by the
way, he told me he noticed you limp
ing, and he intimated that your shoes
were too small. Miss Stiles-The impu-
dencel / hope you told him Miss
Chellus-Oh, yes; told him he was
wrong; that it was merely that your
feet were too large.-Philadelphia
Press