Smyrna times., 1907-01-30


steering wheel in hand. In fact, she
was. frozen to it. She could hold the
old machine reasonably straight in the
middle of the road, but she was help
less beyond that
The next incident was a load of hay
with two farmers on top. They were
men who had never harmed human
being and they had no idea that any
human being wanted to harm them
Rude was their awakening They held
the middle of the road until they saw
that the auto meant to run into them
head-on. Then they swerved and began
to gesticulate and yell to the white
faced girl. They said "Darn it, and
"Dum it, and "By gosh" and succeed
ed in saving their lives. One hind
wheel of the wagon was chopped off
by the auto, however, and as the ma
chine careened onward it also carried
with it a fair sized haystack.
''Oh Harryw walled the girl as she
turned a corner and felt the machine
running on two wheels, but Harry was
not there. He had finally bade Mrs.
Jefferson adieu and found his car
gone. He was after it now with a
horse and buggy. He was making six
miles an hour, while the flier was fly
ing along at nearly thirty.
A quarter of a mile beyond the. turn
a farmer was guiding drove of hogs.
There were twelve in the drove, and
he was changing them from one lot to
another. He knew that the Spanish
war had ended and that the country
was at peace. and he was humming a
hymn, and the hogs We're grunting
grunts of satisfaction when that auto
came bowling down upon them. 1t
seemed to be standing on its hind legs
and paving the air. 1t was kissing
and gurgling and roaring and crying
for blood.
Gosh all hemlockr' shouted the
farmer as he made for the fence and
fell over into the field
The hogs had no time for words or
for athletics. 1t seemed to the weep
ing and terrified girl that the full doz-
en- were picked up and flung sky high
Two of them came down in the back
seat and installed themselves in COM
fortablei positions for the remainder of
the ride, while the others shot right
and left, their remains to be gathered
up by the 6owner later on.
The hog episode was scarcely two
minutes old when a young man in a
buggy appeared mile ahead. He was
a young man with red cheeks and a
marble brow, who was driving to the
city to invest in green goods He held
up his hand as a Sign that his horse
did not like autos. No good. Then he
rose up in his buggy and waved his
arm. He was still waving when the
cloud of dust passed over him and left
him wreck on the sands of time.
Some day he may tell his grandchildren
that he was flung 200 feet high and
400 feet sideways. and he will not be
exaggerating much either
A constable and an old wagon final
ly stopped the runaway. The officer
saw it coming and showed the ancient
vehicle across the road. When the col.
lision came the auto took a skate into
the bushes and brought up against q
| tree and rested there. Before Miss
Maize could half explain matters she
found herself before "a country justice
of the peace and he was solemnly say
ing:
"This is certainly a case for the
higher court 1t is not only running
away with an auto and letting it rur
away with you. but you have beer
stealing hogs"
Miss Maize wept. She looked so pret
ty when she wept that the heart of The
constable was touched. He took The
justice outdoors and was trying tt
touch his heart and have the hog steal
ing charge left out when Harry Finch
" drove up on the gallop. He ha(
traced the auto by trail of dead hog
and frightened farmers, and he had ar
rived just in time.
'Oh, Harryr' was all that the cir
could say as she threw herself into hi
arms and sobbed on his shoulder.
That was quite enough. He pattet
her golden head and gave the justic
to understand that his honor was de
scended from the Spartans and Away
died in the last ditch, and the fine wa
reduced to $40 and paid. Then cam
the brushing away of tears and th
return home. followed by family re
joicing that the lamb had returne
alive. Then-then-well don't be stu
pid. Those things always turn out th
same way, and it is the best way