The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-08

W dinners the one tonight was the best of all, and more than 200 clever people made up of ambassadors from all the countries, including viscount Aoki of Japan, cabinet officers, senators, rail- road presidents, and all sorts of people who have done something in the recent worlds history were present. Senator 1 Joe Johnston and Congressman Oscar Underwood were among the number.
 Here is a part of what Harry West. the official censor of the club, is per- mitted to tell for the Washington Her aid:
 The happenings that made the event so unique and enjoyable were the stunts that the Gridiron men did for the enter tainment of the gathering-the jokes that they perpetrated at the expense of prom inent men, the songs that they sang, the clever satlres that they presented. The best of it all was that none of the things they did left any sting. It was all fun, pure fun. How bright and how enter taining cold type cannot tell. The story of the dinner as told on the morning of the day after is like milk without cream. If you cannot get the cream, however, take the milk. It is better than nothing at all.
 After description of the decorations the story says; As the lights revealed the handsomely l appointed tables somebody discovered that the cocktails were absent. Instantly there were loud inquiries. President Blythe, apparently nonplussed at the strange omission, called for an explana- tion, whereupon a member of the club stepped forward, in front of Vice Presi- dent Fairbanks, and sang song which began as follows; There once was a dinner, out in In- diana
 1. Where cocktails were served to each guest; Such innocent mixtures with sundry nice fixtures As cherries-and you know the rest. They glistened like wine and they tasted so fine Each guest smacked his lips in delight. Could you really think this one little
 Would have caused such a terrible plight?
 Whereupon the chorus came in lustily with the stirring refrain
 Oh, the cocktails a friend of mine,
 Friend of mine--yes, friend of mine
 What care I if the sun don't shine. |. When we've got a cocktail That's the reason I feel so fne Feel so fine-yes, feel so fine. When served at a dinner the cock tails @ winner. The cocktails friend of mne The climax was yet to come. Suddenly producing a huge glass of buttermilk, the singer held it toward the Vice Presi-
 
 dent and sang to him as follows;
 And now, MT. Fairbanks, will you |$ drink this cocktail?
 It's simple and harmless, and dry
 And, not to alarm you, we say it won't
 harm you,
 So don't be too shrinking and shy.
 You surely will say, as you-sip it's fine
 flavor,
 q thank you, indeed, for this boon;
 Unless you confess, as you Will, We
 all guess,
 You intend to be dry till next June.
 Once more the lyrical tribute to the cocktail from the loud-lunged chorus rose to the domed ceiling of the banquet room, and the buttermilk was placed with due ceremony by the side of MT. Fair banks plate. Amid roars of laughter, he calmly slipped his favorite and innocu- ous beverage, while the guests-well, they drank something yellow out of tiny glass, which the corps of serving men placed at every plate.
 
 offered too good an opportunity to pass unnoticed Consequently there was class in nature faking, composed of a teacher and two pupils.
 "l wish" said the teacher, "to speak first of the octopus. What is an octopus?'
 "Something with suckers on It," replied first pupil.
 "Then you mean Wall street. com- mented second pupil, whereupon the gen. tlemanly spectators >in attendance laughed sheepishly. 'Is it true that money talks?" asked the teacher. If it is," was the reply. President Roosevelt must be the richest man in the world
 Well" said the other boy in loud whisper. John Barrett ain't broke." q will now said the teacher, 'call you attention to the mastodon.'' What's q mastodon?" inquired one of the pupils in a saueeky voice. "A mastodon,' it was explained lis an extinct animal Can you name any other extinct species?'
 aialefactors of great wealth-since the