davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-19
LISPING LEGS"
ooooooooooooooo

"Of course there's got to be master
alarms on every ship of war;" said a
veteran gunner's mate to New York
Sun reporter; nobody denies that.
You wouldn't expect the officer of the
deck, now, to grab a-hold Of man
Just come off beach liberty ard slam
him into the brig with his own hands,
would you? And the men for'ard have
got a prejudice against having sea sol
diers-what you call marines-lay
hands on them at such times. So there
must be a chief Legs and assistant
masters-at-arms to help when the
gaiety gets too much for the main Legs
to attend to.
"Plain speaking, Jimmy Legs is a
deep-sea cop, and it's his berth to act
as buffer between the gentlemen aft
and the men for'ard. Mebbe you think
'twould be easy enough to ne on IN
even keel with both. Just you try Il!
Just you try to please all hands on a
man-o'-war!
I'm not saying twas never done.
Il
where. and I've seen some beautiful
exhibitions of what can be lone by a
determined man. Once I was ship
mates with a lovely Legs who lisped.
He was called-at first-the 'Llthplng
Legth.'
"He had just been made Legs be-
fore joining our ship on the Mediter-
ranean station, and none of the hands
had ever met up within him before,
though he had come up from appren-
tice.
"You should have heard the chuckles
when he came over the side with ais
ditty-bag!
There was no question about his
being pretty. He was slender and 1.-the,
and his cheeks were pink and oddly
untanned for an ex-'prentice, and his
hair was tallowish and curly, and he
had a little curly yellow mustache,
with nice little kinks at the ends. And
he lisped.
"sThat amt the LegsT the men at
the gangway said to each other, In
credulous.
"'Sure is said the cox'n of the steam
cutter, who'd brought him Off to the
ship.
1.-The next mess-time the cook @ the
chief petty officers mess, a Norwegian
with shoulders nigh four foot across,
got into a wrangle with a mach mist at
the table, a Connecticut Yank, as wiry
as a sand-screen. They clinched at the
end of the table, kicked the table ever,
and began to pound each other i'll
clinch.
'Then the Lithping Legth, who was
at the table, swung in.
"He stopped the pounding by the sim
pie process of pulling the cook ana the
machinist apart as if he was uEtang-
ling yarn. Then he Knocked their heads
together with a noise that sounded like
coal falling In an empty bunker.
"Then he dragged both men, one I'M
der each arm, to the stick Somehow
all hands forgot about the lisp then.
"a week later the crew of the British
Camperdown sent a committee % blue
jackets over to our packet--which was
the flagship-asking If we had any
boxing timber on board The champion
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-19
ROMANCE OF NAVAL CRAFT.
Interesting History of a Ship and
Yacht Called DOrOthea.

Interesting History of a Ship and
Yacht Called DOrOthea.
Among the vessels assigned to the
naval militia is one with a history.
It seems that many years ago, when
It was the custom for the insurance
underwriters to put up at auction yes
sells that had been long overdue and
not heard from, a young apprentice
in Philadelphia happened 20 attend one
Of these auctions at which large ship
named the Dorotbea was put up for
sale.
The vessel had taken aboard a very
valuable cargo, which would go with
the ship to the successful bidder, but
the very fact that the property was so
valuable had kept the underwriters
from selling the craft until long after
it had become generally believed that
she was a total wreck.
Consequently the auctioneer cried
the good ship Dorothea many times
without getting a bid. Finally the
young apprentice jokingly bid So, and
as nobody would bid higher the yes
sci and her cargo were knocked down
to him. Imagine the astOnishment Of
the maritime world when the Doro-
thea was reported sailing into Della
ware bay.
The apprentice sold his prize for
enough to start him in business and
for years the house thus founded was
one of the leaders in enterprise and re-
sources in the Quaker city. But at all
times the head of the firm and his fam
lily successors made a point Of own
ing and operating a ship named the
Dorothea, which name also was given
to the oldest daughter in each succeed
ing generation.
Shortly before the Spanish war, how
ever, the then head Of the house was in
failing health and the only hope of saw
ing his life, he was advised, was to live
at sea. Accordingly he gave an order
to the Cramps for large and luXuri-
ously appointed yacht, to be called the
Dorothea, of course, and no expense
was spared in her construction and
equipment.
Unfortunately, death came to the
owner before his yacht was quite fin
ished and the government paid a fancy
price for the Dorothea early in 1898.
With the close of the war there was
no purely naval duty for which the
Dorothea was fitted, and yet the gov
eminent did not wish to sell her be-
cause there was no possibility of get
ting price for her anything like what
she had cost. She was accordingly laid
up at the League Island navy yard IN
til the Illinois Naval reserves succeeded
in convincing the navy department that
they were entitled to her.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-19
AN OLD EDITOR
Found 81, 900 Worth of Food.


The editor Of paper out in Okla.
said: yes, it is true when 1 got hold
Of Grape-Nuts food, it was worth more
than a $4,000 doctor bill to me, for it
made me a well man. l have gained
% pounds in weight, my strength has
returned tenfeld, my brain power has
been given back to me, and that is an
absolute essential, for l am an editor
aud have been for 30 years.
MY pen shall always be ready to
speak a good word for this powerful
nutritive food. l had of course often
read the advertisements regarding
Grape-Nuts, but never thought to apply
the food to my own use, until, in my
extremity and sickness the thought
came to me that it might fit my case.
The statements in regard to the food
are absolutely correct, as | have proven
in my own case. One very fortunate
thing about the food is that while it is
the most scientifically made and highly
nourishing, concentrated food l have
ever known, it has 50 delicious a taste
that it wins and holds friends"
There's a Reason" Read The Road
to MELVILLE" In pkgs.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-19

If 1t cost money to patronize poetry
as is does to patrOnize art our mil
nOnaires who find all existing means
Of spending their wealth insufficient
would be glad to incur the expense.
A man can buy pictures and statues
and assert his opulence thereby, but he
can't excite public admiration and en-
w by buying books Of poetry. OF
course, he could publish the works of
a poet, but then be would have the
books to sell and until the books are
sold the author is not a famous poet.
There is no way of financing poetry and
hence the millionaire and the muse
don't get together.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-19
Uncle Rastus' Narrow Escape.

The reputed affinity between the
southern negro and unguarded poultry
Is the subject Of a story told by Sena-
tor Bacon of Georgia. An old colored
man, notorious for his evil ways, af-
ter attending a revival meeting desired
to lead a better life. At a later meet
ing he was called up to be questioned.
"Well, Rastus," said the revivalist,
81 hope you are now trying to live a
Christian life in accordance with the
rules of the church. Have you been
stealing any chickens lately?"
NO, SAIL 1 amt stole no chicken oh
late"
ANY turkeys or pigs?
Rastus, grieved, replied: mo, sab y
Il am very glad to hear that you
have been doing better lately" replied
the evangelist. Continue to lead q
holy and Christian life, Rastus."
After the meeting was over, Rastus
drew a long breath of relief, and turn
ing to his wife, exclaimed:
Mandy, If he'd said ducks I'd been
a lost niger, suahw
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-19
While we seem to absorb without diff

While we seem to absorb without diff
flculty the immense stream OF foreign
ers that is pouring IN from across the
Atlantic, as a matter Of fact the prob
lem Of properly and advantageously dis
posing of all these aliens is becoming
harder and harder. Organizations rep
resentlng a variety Of industrial inter
ests and bureaus maintained by some
Southern and Western States snap up
the bulk OF the newcomers and they
are hustled off to build railroads, work
in mines or to COLOMBO unsettled locali-
ties. Even with this demand, however,
thousands are left in the large cities to
glut the labor market and give the
authorities no end Of trouble. In some
cities the percentage of illiterate, dis
satisfied foreigners Is becoming so large
as to menace their peace and progress.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-19
Room for the Friend.

you'll have to excuse the disorder
here" said the fat dweller. Gall these.
bundles are our summer clothes that
we had to take out of the hall Closet
"Surely, you don't need summer
clothes this weather." said his friend.
'No, but we had to put up a cot in
the closet for a friend who spent last
night with us."-Philadelphia Press.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-19

mans body is not like the transparent
vase through which the candle shines
and illumines its beauty. The spirit
has a poor chance to manifest all its
beauty, or all its ugliness, on face and
feature. Many a man is beautiful Oh
the outside and ugly within, and vice
versa. 1t is the inner life that counts.
A man may be surrounded with the
things that tend to depress and to en-
ervate. Strife, error, storms, falsehood,
darkness, sorrow are about him. New
ertheless within him is truth and light
and peace and rest. He goes straight
ahead, because of the power that is
within. The source Of his strength is
pure and mighty soul that IS IN
daunted by that which is without. You
can kill my body" said Savonarola,
but you cannot touch my soul" 1t is
q great mistake because one may be
weary OF the garish light of the world
without to put up the shutters Of ones
soul and try to live wholly within one
self and of oneself. 1t is wrong and
hurtful to put your light under a
bushel. He is noble who, strong In the
sources of his inner life, swerves not
line from his course, fighting the
error, overcoming the squalor, shilling
the turmoil of life and letting the ra-
diant sunshine Of his world within
battle and bless and purify the world
without. Man, you are what you are
within. Within is your power. Within
is your peace.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-19

wit remarks: Everybody is sorry
to be abused unless it Is because he Is
rich" If the rich derive any joy from
being abused they must constitute the
most hilariOusly joyful portion of the
community In these days. Their only
competitors are the political bosses.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-19

The question Is. Have you got all
that belongs to you? On May 1 you
should have had $34.16 in your pocket,
as that was your share of the per cap
ita wealth of the country. A year ago
you should have had 1922 Next year
you may get another rise Of So.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-19
Renewing the Quarrel.

Wife-Im sorry scolded you this
morning, dear. 1t has affected my
peace of mind al day.
Husband-Oh, then you have made
the discovery at last, have you?
Wife-What discovery?
uusband-That you have only q
piece Of mind.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-19

A druggist In Kansas, where they
have prohibition, says he made HOO
sales of liquor on doctors prescriptions
during the month Of April. He fails
to explain whether physicians charge
house visit or Office rates for such pre-
HcriDtiOnS
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-19

Nearly every camel in Egypt Is said
to have been named after President
Roosevelt. The same camels are prob
ably named after King Edward when
the travellers in Egypt happen to be
Englishmen.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-19

Perhaps when the government pays
the campaign expenses we shall make
the acquaintance of better quality Of
election cigars That would look and
smell like real reform.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-19

The Baltimore Sun credits the Ger
mans with the proverb: Scatter with
one hand, gather with two" That may
be true of everything but money.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-19

DR.. Bell predicts that BY use of the
aIrship, we shall be able to take dinner
In America and breakfast in Europe.
Seems like 4 long way to so for break
faEf
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-19

Having given the drug trust quiet
Ing potion, the Department Of Justice
ought to prescribe a change Of scenery
for the theatrical trust.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-19

A Montana woman has just married
the same man for the third time. She
seems determined to get acquainted
with him.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-19

With the score tied in the ninth, two
men out, and the bases full, a player
has a splendid chance to win for him
self the title Of undesirable citizen"
by striking out
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-19

BY advising the railroads to obey the
law Mr.. II. Z. ingalls, has proven that
q man doesn't have to say something
foolish to attract attention.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-19

One of the worst features about alb
normal weather, not mentioned in the
crop reports, is that It produces SO
many liars
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-19

IN a few months King Alfonso will
be struggling against the temptation to
bore all his friends with stories Of the
cute things the baby is doing.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-19

One cannot always tell what is In
side Of a man by looking at the out
side There are those who can deceive
the elect. True the inner life will
leave tt traces on the outer. But
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-19

So far no trust has had the nerve to
plead guilty and urge the increased
cost Of living" as an extenuating cir
cumStance
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-19
He Seemed Pretty old.

Were you in the ark with Noah,
grandpapa?"
no. my child, I was not in the ark
with Noah"
Then, why weren't you drowned"
Punch.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-19

4 luxury that doesn't cost much: A
pair of suspenders for every pair OF
pantalOOns you own.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-19

'sSalome" has made q hit IN Paris.
Many will call it a base hit
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-19

The world never has much sympa.
thy for the man who is always feeling
sorry for himself.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-19

The man who always has scheme
on tap never seems to be much Of s
success
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-19

The average farmers wife hasn't a
very good opinion of creamery butter.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-19


visits to the weird
brothers fantastic
cOws with
who before
walls bodies of notable
the
walls and in
ceilings
stand brought Jerusalem much
catacOmfs visited by thousands
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1907-02-18
NEW MAP OF OREGON.

over 500 miles of new railroad
lines and extensions of old lines in
Oregon, will be shown on the new
railroad map of the state being pre-
pared by the o. r, & n.
This means that as fast as capital
and labor can be brought together
in the task, that Oregon will be given
ample railroad facilities, if the as
suauces of the Hartman people are
to he taken seriously, and the East
Oregonian believes that they are.
It means that Condor will not long
he the southern terminus of that
branch. 1t means that Crook county
will be further penetrated by the
Columbia Southern line. 1t means
that Wallowa will be given rail trans
portation within the next year. 1t
means that Pilot Rock, Ukiah and all
Of southern Umatilla county will be
tapped by the new line now under
construction and that an era of unu-
sual activity in railroad building will
be enjoyed in the state for the next
few years.
on every new line built settlements
will be quickly made. Hundreds OF
square miles of central Oregon will!
support a population as soon as rail-
road facilities are completed. Humid
reds of square miles now settled in a
way will be made to produce more
when it can be shipped out to market
and Oregon will be immeasurably ben
Gifted by the work now projected by
the Hartman people.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1907-02-18
LAND FRAUDS IN THE HOUSE.

Representative Freeman of Multi.
nomah county, who introduced an
amendment to the land code validat-
ing fraudulent certificates to over
100000 acres of land, on Saturday
evening, should be indicted among
the other members of the land fraud
gang.
The people of oregon have been
harrassed to the limit of endurance
by land thieves in office and out,
and this last attempt of a member of
the legislature to clandestinely force
that rody to ratify bogus certificates
is the climax.
The house should cXpel Freeman,
lust as an example. The Multnomah
county delegation should repudiate his
action and explain to the people oi
Oregon how such an attempt at bold
faced robbery was made without
warning from some member of thc
| delegation.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1907-02-18
WHO OWNS THE OFFICES?

A bitter factional fight is now be-
ing waged over the appointment of
register and receiver for The Dalles
land office aud in this, as in other
fartional struggles, it is well to ask:
To whom do public offices belong?
Are they to be made playthings of
factions or are they intended for the
benefit Of the people?
What does it matter to the people
NJ Oregon whether the Moody or the
Fulton faction wins in the struggle 4?
Are the people at large interested in
that phase Of the matter? VIII the
service be benefited by the injection
Of factional bitterness into the mat
ter?
Such struggles over public offices
too often result in the selection Of un-
1T material The service is always
injured by such fights, for the simple
reason that an official chosen under
such conditions goes into office with
his hands tied, and must be a tool OF
the faction. The people are not in
terested in the triumph Of personal
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1907-02-18
SISTER SUPERIOR
Real Estate Snaps

Three great bargains in real estate:
Fine, S-room house on two nice
level lots on corner, on the prettiest
street IN Hood River. Price $4,000,
worth $500.
80 acres of fine wheat land In Sher-
man county, Oregon; high state Of
cultivation.
Two nice level lots in the town Of
Emmit. The town property is worth
$500
The so acres is worth $4,000. Our
price for 80 days is $4,000; $500 cash.
balance 5000 a year and interest at
8 per cent.
81 acres fine irrlgatde land. two
miles west of Irrigon. all cleared, rab-
hit fenced and watered. Price $4,000.
A money maker.
ADDRESS LOCK BOX 4os,
Pendleton, Ore
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1907-02-18

and was wondering what to do with
the captive. In an inspired moment
he decided to arrange an interview
between the two Indians over the tele-
phone.
After the necessary ringing up
Sitting Bull was asked II he cared to
talk into the machine. He talked
into it for several minutes and did a
heap of listening also. He put down
the instrument finally, and for hours
was even more gloomy than usual, at
last beginning to talk to himself,
something very rare for the Indian.
Asked If he was dissatisfied with his
accommodations or IL there was any
thing they could do for him he broke
forth at last. No. I'm finished. It's
all right when the white mans play
thing talks the white mans Ian
guage; but when 1t learns to talk the
redman's tongue it's time to stop 1t
is believed in the west. where the In
cident is fairly well knoon, that this
talk over the telephone between the
two Indians had a considerable influ-
ence in shortening the Indian wars"
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1907-02-18
1908.

AS the time for the presidential
campaign of 1908 approaches, the sit
uation becomes more complicated.
1t is evident that President Roose-
welt will not accept the nomination of
the republicans, however much that
may he desired, not only by a large
majority of his own party, but also
by thousands of democrats who have
been ardent supporters of the presi-
dent.
There is no other man in the re-
publican party who can exactly fill
Rcosevelt's place. Taft is evidently
Roosevelt's favorite candidate, but
the people do not warm up" to Taft.
He has not the qualifications nor the
personality and were he in the place
would net carry out the Roosevelt
plans to the limit desired by the peo-
pie.
None of the other prominent repub-
leans come up to the Roosevelt STAN
dard. Fairbanks, Cannon. Foraker
none of them have the right ring, and
would he unsatisfactory successors to
the aggressive and fearless Roosevelt
There is no doubt about the accept
Cd leadership of Bryan in the DEM
ocratic ranks, and Bryan would come
more nearly carrying out to the letter
the Roosevelt program, than any OF
the republicans mentioned.
After the people have tasted well
of the Roosevelt aggressiveness and
fearlessness, they will not care to ret
rograde in their public policies and
so the situation becomes more and
more complicated.
Roosevelt is the only man who car
beat Bryan, it is generally believed
and unless Roosevelt is the republi-
can candidate the next president viii
perhaps be democrat and the aspi'
rations Of william Jennings Bryar
will at last bear fruition.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1907-02-18

Eastern Oregon will be ignored, it
seems, in the appointment of the state
railroad commission. From all ap-
pearances the "slate" is made up and
three western oregon men will be
appointed From one point of view
this may he fortunate for eastern Or
egon. If the commission is as great
4 failure as it is predicted it will be,
there will be no eastern oregon man
to share the blame. The Fast Oregon
ian hopes that oregon roads will be
successfully regulated by the COM
mission and will cooperate with that
body in every way to make condi-
tions better, but it has little faith in
the actual results which will be OBJ
tanned. The commission will cost at
least $4,000 per year and there is no
assurance that it can add anything to
the resources or savings of the peo-
| pie.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1907-02-18
A WAY TO ST. LUKE's HOSPITAL

An Irishman in large city was
wandering about hunting st. Luke's
hospital, when he met a man who
looked kindly and proved 20 be a po-
liceman. He asked: DO you know,
sor, where is st. Luke's hospital?
want to go there" The big police
man replied: "Sure I do, my friend
You go down to the next corner, turn
to the lift about half a block. and
there, right in the center you will find
the finest saloon in the city run by
Tim Murphy, He is big, foine look
in man and tinds BARR himsilf; he
will be behint the BARR. You walk
up to him and briskly say: ITO HI
with the pope When you wake up