The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-07-18
THE TERRlRlS DINNER
"RattIesnakes on ToastY Was
the Cowboys Order.
BUT He MET WITH HIS MATCH
The Promptnsss With Which the
Tough Waiter Served the Dish Took
the Terror's Nerve Away-Tho Re.
past and the Final Request.

Ehe errors Nerve away he Re-
past and the Final Request.
Away back in 1876 a man named
Turpin established a restaurant in
Yuma, and among Turpin's original
employees was a walter named Job
Straight, who could shoot with great
precision, play draw poker with un-
varying success and pack eighteen
plates of miscellaneous grub upon one
bare arm at one time he could exc
cute all the prevailing melodies either
on piano or guitar, and he possessed
the most tremendous baritone voice
ever heard IN Arizona. Why, men some
times went to Turpin's just to hear Joe
deliver gastronomic orders. No per-
feet description can be given of that
voice. however, except to say that ut
times It really did make things clatter.
Once fresh young cowboy from
near Cha Bend entered Turpin's for a
Christmas dinner who took startling
connection rs an appetizer and then
dropped thud-Hke at a table and rough
Iy shouted to Straight:
Say. there. Badly! Bring me some
grubr'
Job was at first appalled,; but, recov-
ering his reserve limit of equauimity.
he brushed an imaginary breadcruInb
from the frescoed tablecIoth and
whlsked bill of fare from the val4e-
gated castor and placed it before the
new young terror of the Bend.
Take 1t away cried the latter in
tones that could give Stratghts ortli-
nary, everyday baritone a castle and
checkmate It In five moves. 1T don't
want to read your darned old tract.
world to save sinners. Bring me some
grub-g-r-u-b! Grub! Grub! Grub"
what do you wantT
"Rattlesnakes on toast! And want
you to hump yourseif!s
Whats that?'
I've given my order. you baldheaded
old cigar store sign, and want you to
get move on yourself, p, d. q. Rattle
snakes on toastF'
"Rattlesnakes on toast.' cried Job to
the cook IN accents that would have
paralyzed Carl Forrnes had that old
basso profundo been living and heard
them.
"Rattfesnakes on toast" was the re-
verberating response from the cook
upon receiving the order.
There were dozen OF more people in
the restaurant, and their eyes were at
once turned on the young person from
the Bend and the Infatuated waiter.
In the meantime the cook had taken
\ big catfish and cut It into four strips
and rolled these strips In batter, so
that they much resembled the Wand or
dered, and after placing them in the
frying pan he stuck his head ont of the
kitchen and shouted to Job:
You want them rattlers rare or we'll
done?"
The walter repeated the interrogatory
In a cyclonic way, and the terror re-
piled in as violent tone and manner
as he could command, well done, with
plenty of gravy and Chill Colorado"
And then Job Numbered to the cook:
well done, with plenty of Chill Colo
RADIO, hot as -, and moccasin gravy
on the side and bPoehettes OF sand
crane llvers and ella monster Lights
There was an instantaneously dead
silence in that restaurant, and all eyes
were again cast upon the terror and
the waiter. The former turned ashen
pale and began to weaken perceptibly,
while Job gazed at his victim.
Maybe you don't think we can serve
all the market aHortls,n muttered Job.
Maybe you don't like moccasin gravy
or broehettes a In mode Maybe you
amt hungry
Say! You've got mel amt hungry,
SO help me. couldn't eat single hard
boiled egg. Counter1nand that burned
order, old man. and I'll pay all ex-
penses and set 'em up as long as any.
body can drink Beg pardon. gentle
ror-pnrtlon me, gentlemen. It's my
last"
And then he handed his revolver to
Job and added:
Take that pistol. old man, as n
present and promise me that the next
time any burned fool comes in here
and calls for rattlesnakes on toast
you'll shoot him dcadr"
But Straight was too raviug mad all
the way through TO willingly emerge
from situation only tolerably tri-
umphant. So he took the weapon just
as the order was being placed on the
table and. pointing it Mt the terror.
exclaimed:
Now, then, my boy dump yourself
Into that chair and eat them snakes
bones, skin and ALL"
The young fellow did as he was com
manded, but after finishing his repast
staggered the uncompromisIng Job by
shouting:
Il say, Badly. bring me another
plate of snakcs"-Denver News.
Wanted New Ones.