davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08
QUAKER REFLECTIONS

rF-rom the Philadelphia Record.1
In society many a bud blossoms into
a wall flower.
The prodigaI would even spend the
coign of vantage.
The fellow with fiery temper nat
urally often feels put out.
Some people are not satisfied to tell
the truth; they want to stretch it.
Life is a game of chance in which the
cards are very often stacked.
Perhaps Justice is blindfolded because
she so often gets a black eye.
Another mans failure makes poor
foundation on which to build our own
success.
Just because a man means well it
doesn't signify that he is a man of
means.
The suburbanite, chasing after his
train, puts his carfare under the head of
running expenses.
Asking for bread and getting a stone
must be a good bit like asking for as
sistance and getting advice.
BIobbs-"Bjones always has an ak to
grind Slobbs-"Well. that is better
than turning the grindstone for someone
else"
Hoax-'wigwag actually thinks he is
good looking" Joax-"Oh, I hardly
think that. He merely boasts that he
has the handsomest mug in the barber
ShOp'
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Some boys are like a postage stamp:
They have to be licked before they
will do what is required of them.
~
A young Topeka mother feels as
though she has been cheated. The
baby had three new teeth before she
discovered them, and she has missed
a lot of opportunities of Dragging.
=
That was pretty fair rain Thurs
day night, Colonel Jennings. Come
again, thank you.
Now will the sweet girl graduates
please get busy and prepare to feed
the hungry harvest hands.
-
Inasmuch as Topeka kept the top
of the column during the close of last
season, it would not look well for US
to keep it this year. Therefore, we
gladly let the honor go to Wichita for
the present-especially as Wichita
seems to be playing better ball. We
trust Wichita appreciates our gener-
osity in the matter.-Topeka Journal.
Wichita appreciates it all right, and
will try to continue to merit place at
the top so generously conceded
Wichita Beacon.
But, really, there is no use in being
a piggy about it, Wichita.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08
HUNOR or THE DRY

what then" asked the professor. is
the exact difference between logic and
sophistry?"
well" replied the bright student. III
you're engaged in a controversy it's just
eument and the other fellow s."-Phila-
delphia Press.
$50 they were divorced and lived hap
PLY ever after, eh?'
again."-Cleveland Leader.
.tYaas; 1 stick to me system"
After you win certain amount each
ftah I lose a certain amount, deah
boy''-Washiogtor Herald.
Have you seen the new Psyche that
Mr. Gottalot brought home from Eu-
rope ?" asked Mrs. Oldcastle.
mo" replied her hostess. Il thought
he was goin' to have an American-built
machine this year."-Chicago Record
Herald.
Daughter-But he is 50 fun of absurd
ideals.
father was just the same before I mar
ried hfm.-Town and Country.
Dat Teller 'Rastus skinnah. done bin
talkin' a.. powahful bout he's a-raisin'
s'ShoI he doan' mean ''raisin'. he
means liftln'.' "-Philadelphia Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08
In the East Side I<inderparten

Little Solly CHS brow puckered by
intellectual strain as he scans on the
blackboard sketch of milkmaid
ana cattle). Observation-Disclosures
cows!"
Teacher. Eyes, and what else %
Little Solly Gin triumphant haste).
"And one ladyi''
Teacher. How many all together %
Little Solly. "One-two-three
(Stops and draws his right foot up and
down his left Lego "One-two-th-
th-three-" (Pauses in desperate
effort to count a little further, then
gasps) Oo-oo-oooh, teacher, 1 don't
know how to add up cows and ladiesI"
-Harper's Weekly
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08
GLOBE SIGHTS.
TFrono the Atchison GIob

GF-rom the Atchison GIobe.l
| What is home without home cook
ing?
Drifting is the motive power of loaf
| ere.
About all some men are good for is
| to wear campaign button.
Nearly every man complains of be-
ing greatly annoyed by FOOLS
If you don't look carefully after
your own affairs, who do you imagine
will?
A. woman doesn't think a man cares
for children if he refuses to let them
impose on him.
When we're dead. we won't care
how many ball games are played on
Decoration Day.
There are lots of happy people, but
they are unnoticed in the noise the
wretched make.
If a woman is a real beauty she
socalled beauty sleep.
The well enough" that some people
are willing to leave alone doesn't have
to be very good.
You often hear of a gambler winning
large sums but you never hear of him
saying anything.
You think chicken fighting is bru-
tai, blood-thirsty pastime, but did you
ever see live bird shoot?
If the salary is large enough, there
is no position so difficult that the av-
erage man isn't sure he can fill it,
There are many indications of brave
ry, but carrying a pistol in a peaceful
community isn't one of them.
What has become of the old-fash-
toned woman who said her neighbor
was penny wise and pound foolish 2"
The crazy man in the asylum is hold
ing about the only easy job that no
one will try to take away from him.
Those who come to sympathize ask
lots of questions that would be i'm
pudent were it not for the tears in
their eyes.
When people long for "a congenial
them the impression that they are
pretty smart.
Some time ago a woman, we'll known
in Atchison, was caught stealing at
one of the dry goods stores. For
awhile the secret was carefully guard
ed, but at last it came out. and every
one in town knows 1t. Every stranger
that comes to town is told the story.
The woman stole an article worth not
to exceed $1.50, yet she has been pun
ished terribly. That's the way it goes
with bad conduct of every kind: pun
ishment is always sure, and 1t Is al
ways worse than the offenSe merits.
The wonder is that people who know
the risk of bad conduct. A man who
is impolite, or rough, is punished more
than he deserves; so is man who is
slow pay, or incorporate, or idle. And
it is equally true that good conduct is
rewarded and exaggerated. Let man
give SO to charity, and people will
quote the amount as $50. Let a man
be a particularly good husband and
father, q particularly good citizen,
particularly good workman, and peo-
pie will not fail to remark his good
qualities, and exaggerate them. Why,
some men make a failure of life be-
cause of idleness, intemperance, I'M
fairness and trickery, whereas they
might easier achieve success by means
of industry and good conduct. is one
of the mysteries. Thousands of men
refuse to know this great truth, al
though it is thrust under their noses
every day. It is the greatest truth in
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08

cause l s'pose maybe he used to like
you best. too, and now he won't any
more, cause he told mamma he liked
her the bestest IN the whole world
God bless you, Teddikins,'' muir
INJURED Bob, thankfully. iii buy you
a bear for this, six feet tall
when are you coming to live with
us. Teddy?" asked Gwendolin, her
voice a little unsteady, her face flush
ed rosily. The big hand was crushing
her own so that it hurt.
Pretty soon,'' said Ted, encourage
ingly. That's why they made me
come away now. They're talking it
over. They're going to hurry up, and
get married before you find it out, so
it won't be sudden shock. That's
what Mr.. Rutherford said. I heard
him tell mamma that they must avoid
any sudden shock to Ovens nerves.
So they're going to run away, and get
married. and then he's going to break
it to you
Bob gave an explosive peal of JOY.
and rolled over on the sand at
still, her eyes bright with happiness,
and hope ahead, her chin resting on
one palm, and her eyes filed with sud
den tears.
Don't you cry, Gwen" called UP
Teddie, courageously. I'll love you,
and keep you from being lonesome"
Gwendolin laughed, a quick, break
Ing laugh of tears and happiness COM
bined, and held out both hands to
Bob.
Thanks. Teddy, dear, SO much, but
don't think I'll be very lonesome.
After-after poor Uncle Hal has
broken the news to me, think 1 shall
go to Denver. "-(Copyrighted, 1907,
by c. H. Sutcliffe.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
IFrom the chicago News.l

LFrom the Chicago News.1
Happiness is often nothing but con-
ceit.
A lawsuit is the thief of time and
money.
And it is better to be has-been than
a never-was-
1t takes a mighty good Christian to
pray for the ice man.
Admiration is woman's first love and
devotion is her last.
One can't always Judge a woman's
truthfulness by what she say.
Many mans empty pockets are due
to his wife's fondness for change.
When a man starts to blow In his
money his friends like to get wind of It,
The more good qualities man pos
sesses the less he has to say about them.
A wonan's idea of economy is to have
her husband waste So worth OF time
putting up 10-cent kitchen shelf.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08

Henry Allen has won his fight for
clean streets in Wichita. At the last
session of city council an ordinance
was passed prohibiting the distribution
of bills and posters in the streets, max
ing it a misdemeanor for any one to
sweep or throw any dirt or trash or
paper into the streets or alleys, or
upon vacant property. The police de-
partment has instructions to see that
this ordinance is strictly enforced, and
the result is found to be a great i'm
provement in the physical conditions
of the city.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08

railroads are attacked or the public
demands rights or concessions, the
railroads are great for the law They
run to the court for protection and
they appeal to the fair-minded men
not to violate the law or the consti-
tuition. But when law stands in the
way of their convenience they break
it without culver. And that is the
reason why public sentiment is not
touched by the sight of a railroad in
distress, because when the railroad has
the power, it doesn't give three whoops
for anybody eIse's Distress
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
[From the New York Press.l

IFrOm tHe NEW DIX EItss.I
II a girl has indigestion she thinks it's
a sign of a great romance.
There are those you like and those you
don't speak to by marriage.
1t is better to be sorry that you didn't
marry a girl than that you did.
Nobody could have much fun If there
weren't laws, rules and regulations
against it.
The easiest way to have a man get
the best Of you is to think you are
smarter than he is
A woman couldn't really have a good
time away on visit unless she could
worry about how the children are at
home.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08
Skeleton for Hat Rack.

A New York physician has the most
grewsome piece of furniture in the
United States. 1t is the skeleton of a
large man standing erect, with the
right hand grasping a long spear.
This weapon is of oak. with several
In the center of the skull is set a
clock. and the ribs form a cage in
which the physician keeps his pet
cockatoo. The bird has been taught to
say, Were only mortal.'-New York
Press,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08
EQUAL RIGHTS FOR ALL.

The right of men to quit their jobs
is, as clear as is the right of others to
take the abandoned places. The obliga-
ton of society, of the forces of the law,
to protect those who are willing to work
against the violence of those who choose
to abandon their jobs, as well as against
the violence of those who sympathize
with the strikers, is as imperative and
as unquestionable as is the duty of So
ciety to protect itself against thieves
and put out f1res.-New York Sun,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08

". Y. Morgan, who was chairman
of the house committee on railroads
last winter, prints an editorial on the
subject Fool Railroad Tactics" in
which he says: cit is reported that one
or more of the railroads of Kansas
are refusing to obey the law, and is
sue orders permitting passengers to
ride on certain freight trains. II this
Is true it shows the fool management
which brings the railroads half their
troubles with the public. When the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08

The place of honor in the June Club
Member is given to THE Call of Kan
sas," the poem that was sent by a
homesick Kansas girl in California to
the Lawrence Journal and which has
been reproduced throughout the state.
BY the way, isn't it about time for
Editor Brady to disclose the name of
the author of that poem?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08

The green bug has given many far
mers down in southern Kansas a
chance to be patriotic this year and
celebrate the Fourth of July in a fit
ting manner. They usually celebrate
the Fourth in the harvest field, but
this year, owing to the aid given them
by G. Bug, they will be able to take
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08
FROM OTHER PENS
GENERALLY GETS HIM.

The sudden ending of the glorious war
in Ohio is only what many cold-blooded
observers all along expected. That For
aker could stand before the country as
a serious presidential candidate was out
of the question. If his state was to
have any favorite son at all, it must be
Taft; while, If the opposition to the lat
ter were made too bitter and persistent
there was danger that Foraker might
not be even favorite senator.-New York
Evening Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08

Prophecy of Victor Murdoch: "Balie
Waggener. who is to contest the con-
stitutionality of the railroad rate law
in Kansas. will carry 1t to the supreme
court. If it mikes up the legislative,
executive and judicial branches and
the supreme court happens to be feel
ing that way when it reaches them, 1t
will be knocked sky high.''
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08
HIS PART.

Vacation time is drawing near,
In all the trolley cars we hear
The fair sex telling where they'll 60
To Jersey coast or Maine, you know
And speaking in a care-free way
OF heavy bills they'll have to pay.
While one who sits in silence there
A bit of fringe is all his hair
Decides to stay at home. Egad,
There'll be no rest for poor old dad!
Birmingham Age-Herald-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08

Naturally Wichita just can't help
walking chesty because Johnny Rein
rode the horse that won the Derby
over in England this week. Wichita
claims Johnny Reiff
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08

The Standard must have lost its rab-
bit foot or else 1t has seen the new
moon over the wrong shoulder. 1t has
certainly been doing an excellent job
of losing in its court troubles lately.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08

The restaurant business appears to
have been fairly profitable in San
Francisco when the restaurant keep
ers could AFFORD to pay thousand dol
lars a year each to Ruef for protec-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08
BRIDES AND THE FUTURE.

The usual output of spring brides
will soon tempt the fates, and some
rosebud mouths will retain the proverb-
ial silver spoon, while others will shortly
be holding clothespins between pearly
teeth.-Baltimore American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08

An heir of SILENT Smiths is quoted
as saving that riches seem like a
dream. And perhaps he is afraid he
will wake up.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08

Garden City's protest against Tafts
idea of abolishing the tariff on Philip
pine sugar leads Joe Bristow to sus-
pect that Garden City wishes to climb
out of the Taft band wagon and walk.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08

A San Antonio paper prints an edi-
toriaI headed I'VE Drink Too Much
That has always been suspected of san
Antonio, but 1t might try swearing on.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08
DANGERS OF NEW YORK.

Love and whisky are the two great
causes of suicide in New York, accord
ing to the official reports. There are
some mixtures a wayfaring man ought
to have sense enough not to try.-Louis-
vile Courier-Journa1.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08

Gross offense committed by the
Kansas City Times: cit will not be
necessary for anyone to ask Mr.. Tuck
er if he ever got the HOOK"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08

Now that the Kansas Colorado case
has been thrown out of court for want
of evidence, the Arkansaw is lower
than it has been for years at this sea-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08

'tDon't kiss the babies" IS the slogan
of a woman's club gathering at At
lantic City. 1t is respectfully referred
to the candidates.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08
THEY STAND WASHING.

Nevertheless, our alleged soap-plug-
ged, shoddy-built battleship have been
making some remarkably good heavy
weather. long-distance seagoing records.
milwaukee Sentinel.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08
WILL BEFRIEND HIM.

The stray dog that licked the Roose-
welt bull pup would have a cinch on
choice loin cuts six times a day by MAX
ing himself known to Mr.. Hartman
Houston Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08

Raisuli. der noted bendit. iss thinking
some uf going indo voddyvilly. Vich
ISIS der mistake uf hiss life. He should
go into United States Rollyticks, vich
is more in hiss line.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08

1t is a common occurrence now FOR
a Kansas country paper to record the
arrival of a carload of automobiles
and still the bank deposits continue to
pile up.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08
AT TWO CENTS A MILE.

An electric train tested on the New
York & New Haven road struck a rate
of 100 miles an hour. That would call
for So for an hours ride, but an insur-
ance ticket ought to be thrown Inst.
Louis Globe-Democrat.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08

Yesterday was a pretty fair imita-
ton of summer and it is prooaoIy saIe
now to take down your base burner
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08
CAUSE OF TROUBLE.

Observation-Disclosures and minding 9TH
er peoples business cause most of the
trouble in this world.-Manchester
Union.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08

The postofice department has set
out to beat the Irvine trust by econ
omizing in the use of Irvine.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08

June continues to do a pretty fair
lob Of weather making.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08

June fourteenth will be Flag day.
Don't forget your flag.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08

Dot scheme to blay Tommiekneal
againsd a cally-ope en- dot Kansas
Chamestown atfertising train, ISIS a in
chustice to Kernel Tom. Wy, some uf
dem cally-opes can outtoot him zwei to
elm. Id ISIS a crime to make him buck
anything vorser den a pie-annah.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08

The king of Siam, called 1.-The brother
Of the MOON" is to visit the United
States soon. The king will visit us at
Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08

Der chudges uf der Yale beauty con-
tesd displayed more intelligence den
der aferache beauty Inspectors. Der
Topeka boy vich dey chose ISIS not a
delikit pretty boy" but a real life
man.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08
HAVE no HUSTLE. .

Cheer up, Mr.. President Existing
conditions absolutely protect most of us
from "a life of effortless ease."-Indian-
apolis News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08
MIR. YOAKUMs APPROvAI,.

Mr.. B. F. Yoakum is one railroad
magnate who comes forward and
roundly applauds President Roose-
velt's indianapolis speech. This is not
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08

Der Survival uf der latest" ISIS a
stolen expression. but i'd seems to fit
der Chink femmin conditionss egzact-
L..
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08
GoING THE WHoLE LENGTH.
DOING GOOD.

The much abused mother-in-law
sometimes does lot of good. Down
in Alabama a man came home drunk
in the middle of the night, routed out
his wife and children and drove them,
in their night clothes.L out into the
street. Then the mother-in-law grab
bed a gun and filled him SO full of
buckshot that his body would hardly
hold together when the coroner tried
to lift him up.AJewen Republican. s
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08

We'll. the drouth is cracked again
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08

Der citizen vich took painss to pro-
f1de a noder chob fer der victim before
suggesting dot a policeman be canned
fer incompetence, irrelevance und i'm
rnateria1-ness, neandt veil, but hiss eff
forts vas misdirectioned. Der victim
in dis case ISIS a relatif uf der chef uf
bolts, und coudndt be pried loos NIT
stick IF dinpymite.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08

Such headlines as Strike Offer Steak, -
Lamb Chops Scarce" Meat Out of
Reach" ct cetery, vich hat apearanced
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08

in der bapers, ISIS nodt such a hot-airy-
ness es Won might suspicion.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08

Misder j. w. Robson recently gate
oudt a interview in vich he said he hat
lunched ouf uf all kindss uf Kansas
varmints. In der same interview he
said he could nod svaller Misder Stubs.
We may gadder dot he did nod include
Misder Stubbs in Ger warmth class, Pc
caus he made no exceptions in his OBJ
ening statemendt,-he said ALL
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08

Der Chinks vich drofe nails in a mis-
sionary may hat gaddered some uf der
fine points uf der game from der siviges
uf der coonible islandts, but dey ofer-
looked Won impordtandt feature uf der
game. Der coonibals always closed der
f1ledt spordts uf a grand missionary
hundt nit larche benquedt.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08

Here ISIS to bedt dot Fishing viii be a
popularious spordt dis summer NIT der
younk LADIES' uf Salina. Der anser to
dis will be furnished, securely sealed.
ubon aplicationing.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08

Ivy" sayss Gus Gobblesteinhauser eli
dot dog canning uffair. ditndt dey in
terfiew der dog? He seems to be de
only witness vich vas Overlooked"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-06-08
A SATURDAY SERMON.
ORCHARD AND HAYwooD

The heart is deceitful above all things,
and desperately wicked.-Jeremiah 17:9