Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1907-07-05
JOHN SMITHS
Year

II read a paragraph few days ago
to the effect that this would be great
year for John Smith said the travel
ing man who was fixing up the CARDS
IN a game In the smoker 1t didn
appeal to me.
'As most OF You know, that's my
name. am not ashamed of it, but
don't mind saying that | would like
to trade ii of until that jamestown
affair is over.
IF we could have set Of expert
humorists TO get up the jokes condl-
lions might be more tolerable; but for
everybody you meet to take shy at
the family patronymic is tiresome.
my house thought 1t would be a
good card to have me on the ground
the day the show opened at Norfolk.
| arrived the night before and put up
at a convenient hotel. When | wrote
my name on the register the torture
began.
You're the first on the ground!'
exclaimed the clerk, who was evident
ly a raw one. l confess, however. that
didn't take his meaning of the bat.
"'Of course you want the best in
the house. continued the mushroom,
With a smirk on his face. Then he
hammered it in. The Smith family
hes the right of way here, he con-
tinued, and specially John
Ordinarily I'm pretty quick on the
trigger, but the wretch kept ahead Of
me. Before | could unlimber he
handed out another,
"'We1l give you the Pocohontas
chamber, John-pardon-Mr. Smith.
'FRONT.'!
Before the bellhop made the plate
l was at the bat. | won't delay the
game, gentlemen, by quoting my own
words, but when / was through the
excresence behind the counter was
sneaking away as if he had squatted
on the hot end of an evicted hornet.
In spite of apologies by the landlord
at boarding house where they don't
keep books.
THE next day | dropped in at the
| telegraph Office and asked If there was
/ anything for John Smith. The man
| looked at me as fellow looks at hat
on the sidewalk on April /. Quicker
than you get your cards | showed him
my watch containing my picture and
name, and then threw down a bundle
| of old letters to clinch the identified
ton.
i am John Smith, | said, with the
words underseored, and l don't want
any funny business.
THE man at the window handed out
four wires to my address and said in
quiet way that was rather soothing
Il reckon you are John Smith all
right, but don't go round here with
the idee that you're the only one. The
twelfth went out jest ahead of you
Il thought it was time for me to dc
the funny stunt. Seeing that l had
anticipated trouble, l said:
Then I'm No. 49,
"As l was going out heard the man
at the window say, You're liable to be
% before you're much older
'Ill owe that fellow one until
meet him again. am not the only
| O11C Vi lAC nd1hC Llldl 10 uOuS1us IL
either.
THE last night / was in the towI
went to the office of hotel. 1t wa
crowded. While l was sitting ant
smoking an office boy with a telegram
pushed his way through the jam, call
ing out. Smith, John Smith! Smith
John SMITH
Nobody responded. The boy tool
the telegram back to the clerk, VIII,
} looked over at the line of occupie,
: chairs along the wall, and called out:
What's the matter with you Smith
over there? | know at least a hal
dozen of you are of that name, an
here's telegram for one of you
What are you afraid Off
Not a man in the line moved
D Later on in the evening after the mo
: had scattered l sneaked up to tn
! clerk and asked him If anybody ha
: claimed the message.
r Yes. he snorted. The messag
has been read by six different Smith,
Maybe you're the right one l hop
1 So
i Il took it. 1t was for me. / apolt
, gized for my part of the trouble.
said in a meek sort of way that
wasn't to blame for my name.
Course not snapped the tire
A clerk, but II you Smiths would onl
\ get together and mark yourselves /
!. some way 1t would save a whole Il
of trouble in this hotel
a Il left that town the next mornfnI
/" and I'shall be travelling away from
q as long as the exposition lasts. An
. | I've burnt I'M all nv cards -.