The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-06-25
The....
Professors
NJ nv. By HENRY
- LEWIS.

vi tetih @NCN 4ASltllu COllGRt, WAS b
little man. He was round shouldered.
He was awkward on his legs. He
wore goggles for his weak eyes, and
he arrived at the age of fifty-five with
out having loved. AS between bugs
and beetles and women, the bugs and
beetles were ahead. 1t was only on
rare occasions and when under the
stress Of excitement that he took the
slightest notice of the other sex. even
when he did sit up and take notice of
them he could not have recalled half
an hour later what he said or whether
they had red hair or black.
On a certain day it came to the ears
OF Professor Sweetzer that portion of
the vertebrae of a whale had been
found on farm in Connecticut. He
arrived on the spot next day and veri-
fed the find. On an occasion thou
sands Of years before an old bull whale
had decided to take a trip inland and
through some error of Judgment had
left his bones in gravel pit. A piece
of the backbone six feet long had been
uncovered. The professor wanted to
excavate for the rest Where there Is
six feet of whale you can take it that
there is more. He engaged board at
the Widow Webb's and hired man to
WELD the pick and shovel and thus
went to work.
The Widow Webb was fat and forty
and childless. She was worth stony
farm and 5000 in cash. A still older
sister lived with her, and the farm
the good old fashioned name of Hiram
Stebbins. Hiram was thirty-five and
drank nothing stronger than cider, but
he thought deeply. One of them was
that If he married the widow he would
become the possessor Of the farm and
$780, He had been thinking of this
and taking the farm work easy when
Professor Sweetzer put in an appear
ance. Hiram looked at him and grin
ned. If any one had told him that
within week he would be jealous of
that little dried up and humpbacked
specimen Of humanity, he would have
roared with laughter.
AS soon as the professor had inspect
ed the bone and become enthusiastic,
he was a changed man. He became q
fluent talker. He became faSherly to-
ward the widow. He called her my
child" and often took her hand and
held 1t while he tried to make her I'M
derstand that a whale was a cachelot
and that cachelot could stand on his
tail in the water as well as on his head.
When Hiram witnessed the hand
holding act he quit grinning He was
mad all that day as he hoed corn. He
was mad when he came up to supper.
He was mad when one of the cows
kicked him at milking time. While
the professor took a ramble In search
Of beetles, Hiram carried the milk into
the kitchen and began:
''Widder Webb how does it feel to
have a baboon holding your handY
Hiram, what do you meanW was
demanded.
Il mean that l have seen you and
that little runt of a man squeezing
hands a dozen times, and neither of
you seems to care who stands by. Fell
in love mighty quick, didn't your
Look here, Mr.. Stebbins, you have
no right to talk to me this way. You
know who the professor is. He's a
great man. He has taught me more
about whales in the last three days
than l knew in all my life before. He
also knows all about birds and bugs
and bees. It's twice as interesting to
hear him talk as it is to hear a SER
mon"
HAS a Teller got to squeeze your
hand to talk to you about whales y
asked Hiram.
"He hasn't squeezed it. That's sim
ply his way. He is fatherly man.
When he gets to talking he don't know
whether he has got hold of my hand
or the leg of chair. You ought to be
ashamed Of yourself to talk as you do.
| always thought there was a mean
and jealous streak in you, and now it's
come out"
"Oh. 1t has, eh?" muttered Hiram.
perhaps if 1 went around looking for
the bones of an old whale, I'd be all
right"
81 guess it would be better than
grunting around. You don't care for
educated folks, but l do. 1 was born
that way. If was to ask you about
whales, you couldn't tell me anything. "
But the professor couldY'
Yes, sir he could Hiram Stebbins
do you know that the Latin name OF
whale is Physeter macrocephalus? Dc
you know that we get spermaceti and
ambergris from its body? Do You
know that he sometimes reaches the
length of seventy or eighty feet? You
stand there with a mean look on youl
face, and yet let me tell you that the
sperm whale can swallow a man at 9
| gulp. There are no teeth in the upper
| jaw, but the lower one has from TWEEN
| ty-ive to thirty on each side. The eyes
are small and placed far back in the
head"
| "WellY' grunted the hired man.
"Well. the cachelot feeds upon fishes
and cephalopodous mollusks You prob
ably thought he fed upon turnips. The
whale is gregarious. Five hundred Oh
more have been seen in single herd
Terrible conflicts often take plac'
among the males, and 1t is not unusua
to find the lower jaws deformed. Thu
/ left eye is said to be smaller than thu
right, and the whale cannot see behin(
him"
''All from the professor sneere(
Hiram as he bowed and walked out t.
fasten the hencoop for the night.
When. the professor wasn't assisting
his man to dig for bones he was hunt
ing bugs and bees and butterflies. t
his great joy, he discovered a seve
spot bumblebee. As all of us know,
bumblebee is of dark color, with We
low spots on his back There are oil
ten from five to six spots and onl
rarely a seven spotter This bee, alon
with a dozen others, was placed in
pasteboard box, and when the hous
was reached the box was deposited O
window sill of the veranda. TIL
professor had told the widow all abou
whales. AS soon as he had a littl
spare time he meant to tell her q
about bumblebees. Two days had gon
by when the moment came. The bon
digging labors of the day were owe
and supper disposed of when the pre-
lessor and the widow took chairs o
the veranda. He had found the she
Of a small turtle in the gravel tina
day, and he set out to first explai
about that. Hiram Stebbins was greai
ing his boots and chewing the rag |
the kitchen and could hear every wore
He also knew all about that box c
bumblebees on the window sill.
According to Professor Sweetzer, tn
ties had hearts and lungs, hopes an
aspirations. He would even go so ia
as to say that turtles loved and wer
loved In return. They did not sing lik
bird nor below like frog, but the
| a