davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-01-13

TN rather iV our country, though child
less hersilf, was about right. She looks
good in tn pitchers, with a shawl
around her neck an frilled night-cap
on her head. But Hogan says she had
a tongue sharper thin Georges soord.
she insulted all his frinds, she was
much older thin him, an she liked
food that they cudden't keep amy lon
ger in tn ice box. AS FIR George. ne
was a case. i wish tn country had
got itsilf a different father. A great
moral rellijous country like this de-
sarves a betther parent.
"They were all alike. l think iv
Bobby Burns as a man that wrote good
songs, even if they were in a bar'brous
accint, but Hogan thinks iv him as hav-
in a load all tn time an bein' tn scan
dal Nv his parish / raymimber Andrew.
Jackson as tn man that licked tn Brit
ish at Moo Orleans be THROWN cotton
bales at thin. but Hogan raymimbers
him as man that cudden't spell an
had a wife who smoked a corncob pine.
L Lincoln free
in tn slaves, but Hogan raymimbers
how he used to cut loose yarns that
made tn BARTENDER shake tn stove
harder thin ii needed I raymirnber
Grant FIR what he done around Shiloh
whin he was young. but Hogan ray
Numbers him FIR what he done around
New York whin he was old.
AN so il goes. Whin a lad with
nawthin' else to do starts out to write
a biography about a grfreat man, he
don't go to tn war department or In
public library. No, sir. he begins Ito
search tn bureau drawers, old pigeon
holes. tn records Nv tn polls coort. an
tn recollections iv tn hired girl. He
likes letters betther thin anything
else. He don't care much f'r tn kind
heginnin'. Dear wife. I'm settin in
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-01-13

with the unfortunate Female who
tackles the job Of looking after flock
of Kids that belong to somebody else.
Unless, of course, she has to look
after RollO and Elsie and then the work
is Nuts. Rollo's Governess never had
to tell him to keep his face clean and
not play with the Irish on the other
side of the Tracks
We read that both Rollo and Elsie
were invariably polite 10 the Governess
and kind to the Butler and friendly with
+ the Gardener and on very good terms
with James. the COachman.
You take Boy who has to get up at
a. IN. in Winter and dig the Sawbuck
out of a SnOwbank and who usually
gets a pair of Warm Mittens for Christ
mas. and there is nothing that could
cheer him more than to real about Roll
To- who always had a Clean Collar and
spoke gently TO the Servants.
Rollo undoubtedly went To College
and he must have been beloved by all
/ his Classmates for he had an over
| developed Conscience and q Moral Ma
ture Of such gigantic proportions that
he got stOop-shOuldered carrying il
around.
He never joined i'm any Of the Wild
| Franks of the Rowdy Element, and. OF
course, to be consistent. he had to as
| sist the Faculty in maintaining Disci-
pine The Conscience kept throbbine
/ like last years Automobile and il
would not permit him TO shield any
/ Wrong Doors. SO the regular pipe
smoking Comanches thought he was as
/ nice a Fellow as ever poisoned well.
/ Rollo went into Business and he was
! so Good that he never tried to put
/ through a Pooling Agreement or grail
/ of the secret Rebate from a Transpor-
| tatiOn Line until his LAWYER had as
sured him that there was no danger OF
/ being Punched.
In order to protect the Young Mer
/ from the Country who were on his Pay
roll he laid out the Hours for them Sc
/ that when they quit Work they haC
! just enough time to go home and get
some Sleep. Thus he kept them out Of
! Pool Rooms and Variety Theatres.
| BY depressing all of his natural In
stincts and butting into other people:
Affairs TO stamp out Wickedness anC
/ disinfect Society Rollo at last reached
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-01-13

able to find amy iv his letters, but
hers fell into tn hands " wan iv his
faithful servants. who preserved an
published thin. love an Letters iv
Gin'ral Dhreadnaught an Alfaretta
Agonized: Stolen, Collected an Ed
tied be James SnOdgrass.) Next
year was mim'rable FIR his gloryous vic
thry at Punkheim. all tn more Won
dherful because at tn time our hero
was sufferin' firm deleeryyum tire
mems. 1t shows tn fortitude iv tn
gin'ral an that he was as gr-reat a liar
as L have indicated in tn precedin'
pages, that with tn cheers iv his sojers
ringin' in his ears an pink monkeys
dancin' befure his eyes. he cud still
write home 10 his wife: OF girl
can't find anything fit to drink down
here. Can't we sind me some cider
firm tn farm. = In 1859 he was
accused iv embezzlemint, but tn
charges niver reached his ears or tn
public's ontil eight years afther his
death In 81 his foster brother,
that ne had Neglected III Kansas CITY,
slipped on his ballroom fiure an broke
his leg. In 20 his wife died af-
Their torturin' him FIR fifty years. They
were a singularly badly mated couple.
with family iv fourteen childher. but
he did not live long to enjoy his happi-
ness, FIR some reason he niver left
his house, but passed away within q
month, one of tn gr-reatest men tn
cinchry has projooced. For further de-
tails iv tn wrong things he done see tn
notes at tn end iv tn volume.
1T seems to me. Hinnissy. that this
here thing called biography is a kind
iv an offset f'r histhry. Histhry lies on
wan side, an biography comes along
an makes it rowl over an lie on tn
ether side Histhry says man is near
ly a Gawd; biography says he's on'y a
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-01-13
u R. DOOL LEY ON LORY

We'll, sir" said Mr.. Dooley, Hogan
has been I'm here this AFTERNOON. an
I've heerd more scandal talked thin L
liver thought was in the world"
Hogan had betther keep quiet" said
Mr.. Hennessy. eff he goes circulatin'
amy stories about me I'll"
"Ye needn't worry" said Mr. Dooley.
I'VE didn't condiscend to talk about
annywan iv we're infeeryor station If
We want to be tn subjick iv our scan
d'lous discoorse ye'd betther got out an
make a reputation. No, sir our talk
was entoireIy about tn gr-reat an IL
lustrous. an it ran all tn way firm
Julius Cayzar to Ulysses Grant.
Dear, Oh dear, but they were tn bad
lot. Thank tn Lord nobody knows
about me. Thank the Lord / had tn
good sinse to retire firm pollyticks whin
me reputation had spread as far as Hal
sted sthreet. If I'd let it go a block
farther Td've been sorry f'r it tn rest
~ me life an some years afther me
death.
Il wanted to be famous in Thin days.
whin 1 was young an foolish. Twas
tn dhream iv me life to have people
say as / whit by: There goes Dooley.
tn greatest statesman Nv his age an
have thin name babies. sthreets.
schools. canal boats. an SCENT seegars
afther me. an whin 1 died TO have it
put in tn books that at this critical
peeryod in the histhry of America there
was need iv man who combined
strenth iv charackter. with,love Nv coun-
tilry. Such a man was found i'm Martin
Dooley, a prominent retail liquor dealer
in Ar-rchey road. That's what 1 want
ed. an I'm glad / didn't get me wish.
III / had. tits little attintion to me char
ackter that tn books iv what Hogan
calls biography wud pay. but a good
deal to me debts. Though they min
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-01-13

with her and pull for her and cry un-
til his Gloves get soft, and yet, if ne
had anything like that waiting for him
at the Flat he wouldn't go home once
in two weeks.
Rollo, as he appears I'm the Illustra-
lions, wore a wide-awake Hat, with a
sporty Buckle on it, and had CIIrls such
as Janice Meredith made so popular
about five years ago. In his more riot
Gus moments he was depicted in the act
of rolling a Hoop around q Flower Bed.
Elsie was shown i'm the Wood En-
craving as a hammered-down Miss
with Eyes about the size of Individual
Butter Dishes, and n Mouth so, small
that she could not have eaten a Goose
berry without cutting it in two.
Rcllo and Elsie were very popular
Characters about twenty years ago.
That is, the Young People would read
about Rollo in the House, but out in
the Wood Shed they would get Goose
Pimples while following the trail of the
train robbers with Silver Star, the Boy
Detective.
Since then we have made a great Ad-
vance. The Cclored Supplement- has
brought sunshine irtO many Homes.
The real up-tO-date Children's Page
shows the lighthearted Lads and Las
sizes engaged i'm such innocent Diver
sions as blowing up Mother with a
Cannon Cracker or soaking Dada over
the head with a Ball Bat.
Since the precocious Youth of our
Land have learned to jump from the
Second Reader right into the Sporting
Column and also have got into The
habit of reading the Dramatic Papers
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-01-13

begin to call on me dentist to find whera
L bought me teeth says I.
'Ye'd niver stop TO think says he.
No wan liver does. Glory is a chance
like tn other thing. 1t all comes or
doesn't come out in tn days job, an We
can't stop or help it. An no wan will
talk bad about We afther We ARE dead
onless we've done something that makes
people talk good iv we. I'd have some
throuble gettin an aujience FIR a story
about Hogan, but lave me whisper:
Did We hear that yarn about Grover
Cleveland?' an 1 can go on an lie to
me hearts contint.
An so it is that the battles We win.
tn pitchers We paint. tn people We free.
tn childher that disgrace We. tn false
step iv ye're youth, an the false tooth
iv ye'Te age all go thundherin' down
to Immortality together. An afther all.
isn't it a good thing? TIL only bi-og-
raphy I care about is tn one Mulligan
tn stonecutter will chop out f'r me.
l like Mulligan's style, fr he's no fat
threr. an he has wan model iv bi-og-
raphy that he uses fr old an young.
rich an poor He merely writes some
thing to tn gin-ral effect that tn de-
ceased was peach. an let's it go at
that. But if amy wan wants to write
biography iv me an contribute
some fun TO this weary wurruld, let him
do it, says l. Nawthin' wud please me
loaftba, +l,f, 20 ly,ov- sbo+ ro,,,o 10. -.
will think We ARE betther man thin
am. But not FIR tn prisint. says he
which wud We rather be, famous or
rich?" asked Mr.. Hennessy.
I'D like to be famous said MT.
Dooley. AN have money enough TO buy
off all threatenin' bi-ographers.'
Copyright. 1906, by H. H Mcclure -
Coz
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-01-13
MAGAZINE SECTION.
Old Stories Revised

once there was a Little Boy who
loved his Parents and never played
Marbles for Keeps, and his name was
Rollo
II his name had been Bill he would
have waited back Of the Barn to shy
"a few Clods at the new Copper-but his
name was Rollo.
5 It wouldn't have been so tough or
him II the name had been Clyde, or FL
mer, or Chauncey. or even Rudolph. but
i it is sure enough hard luck when a lot
OF pin-headed Relations rope and throw
a Helpless Infant and brand ROLLO
on his Flank.
Rollo had a sister named Elsie
No doubt you have heard of Rollo
and know something about little Elsie,
but it VIII surprise you 10 learn they
were Kin. You will remember Rollo
as the Manly Urchin who was ever kind
10 Animals, while Elsie was the sweet
faced Tot who thought she was having
& Bully Time if she could pluck a few
Daisies and put them in her Hair.
RollO and Elsie have been very
strongly featured i'm sterlized Reading
Matter for the Young, but so far as the
Author can discover they have not
been seen anywhere else.
They were cooked up simply as De-
cOys. They are somewhat like the
Weepy Heroine I'm the 81 play. man
will sit in the Parquet and sympathize
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-01-13

brothers. thought of little ROllO? NJ
doubt they SPOKE VOL OF him.
Roilo never Ioosened up and Clipped
IN to buy Mask and a Catcher's Glove
for the Cub Juniors.
he never Knocked the bottom out of
Copper Boiler and sneaked il down to
the Junk Shop to get money enough to
buy Candy Cigars for the Bunch
He never tried to smoke Rattan or
Con-Silk. or go after English Spar
rows with a Niger Shooter SO far as
we can learn he devoted nearly all of
hls time to rolling the Hoop.
Rollo was a Reformer That made
him very Popular OF course, Grown
up people don't much like TO have some
cadaverous Willie with stringy side
whiSkers and a tied-in-the-store White
Tie come around and tell them how
tough they are and how good he is, but
with the Children it is different
For We read right in the Book that
when little ROllo would find his play
mates cOnspiring upon some act of
Mischief he would rebuke them gently
and call attention i'm few appropriate
sentences to the Moral Aspect Of the
case, and they would all hang their
heads and be abashed and relinquish
their Sinful Intentions.
Fine!
Odl you llOl see the HuSn getting
ready to hitch q Goat to a Wagon and
Wrasling him all over the back yard
TO get the Harness on him? Little Roll
10 comes oct and begs them to desist.
as il is wrong TO take advantage of
the Dumb Creatures.
They may close in on RollO and wal
Ter him and give him a bad Eye and
send him home all open i'm the back.
but he need not worry or feel discour-
aged, for he has done his Duty
We read in the books that RollO was
never rude to his Governess. This line
of reading about the Governess must
take a very direct appeal TO little jim
my Gohegan. whose father is getting a
dOllaT-ten a day at the Gas House.
OF the 22.000000 Little Ones now
growing up in this country it is esti-
mated that not more than eight ever
saw a GOVerneSS.
The beautiful young lady who goes UP
i'm a balloon and then comes back in a
Parachute has d TapioCa compared
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-01-13

front iv tn camp fire wearin tn flannel
chest protector We made me. an
dhreamin' iv ye, but if he can find
wan beginnin': Little Bright Eyes:
TIL old woman has gone to tn coun-
thry,' he's tn happiest bi-ographer We
cud see in a months thravel.
Hogan had wan iv thin books in
here tn other day. Twas written by a
frind. SO We can see it wasn't preiu-
diced wan way or another. AT this
time says the book, an ivint hap
pened that was destined to change tn
whole coorse iv our heros life. Wan
day, while in sthreet car, where he
lay dozin' firm dhrink, he awoke TO see
beautiful woman thryin' to find a
nickel i'm a powder puff. TIL brutal con-
ductor lowered over her, an it was
more thin tn ginral cud bear. Risin'
to his feet, with an oath. he pulled tn
rope iv tn fare register an fell off tn
car.
"Th' incident made a deep impression
on tn gin'raL l have no doubt he often
t0OuRnt ~ MS Dedulllui ASluOiild ~ IN
throlly. although he niver said so. But
wan night as he staggered out iv tn
dinin' room at tn German ambassa-
dure's. where he had consumed his GUS
tom'ry four bottles iv brandy, who
shud he run acrost but tn fair vision
Nv tn surface line. She curtsied low
an picked him up. an there began a
frindship so full Nv sorrow an happi-
ness to bothfiy thin. He seldom min
edfher, but wan night he was heard
:f6yfm,Htsr; Her. face is like wan iv
Fkezn brands saints A few historyans
contind that what he said was: Her
face looks like remnant sale but 1
cannot believe this.
They exchanged brilliant letters FIR
nanny years, i'm fact, ontil tn enchan-
thress was locked up. have not been
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-01-13

Copyright. 1906, by H. H, Mcclure -
Coz
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-01-22
Marshalltown Man Placed in the
Field For G. A. r. Commander
by Local Post
CAMPAIGN CHARGE COMMITTEE
Mr.. Haradon Was DEFEATED Last Year,
and Was in Field az Comparative
straneer-His Acquaintance Acquir-
ed in Canvass Will Make Him Strong
Candidate This Year.

At the regular meeting of Frank M
Thomas Post, No. "a, G. A. r., held
Monday night, an invitation was unan-
imously extended to Past Commander
A. F. Haradon to become. candidate
for the office of department comman-
der of the Iowa G. A. r., before the
next annual encampment, to be held at
Dubuque on June lib. The local post
fathers Mr.. Haradon's candidacy. and
will present his name before the en-
campment. A committee composed OF
G. r. Haas, w. B. Beeson and j. o.
Wildman was appointed to take gener-
al charge of the campaign.
Mr.. Haradon was candidate for ths
office of department commander last
year at the Boone encarapment, and
was defeated by Colonel Clark, OF Ce-
dar Rapids. Mr.. Haradoll entered the
campaign as comparative stranger to
practically all of the state organization
with the exception of his home post.
He made an extensive and favorable
acquaintance, however, and became
known to nearly every delegation in
the state before the enca1npment clos
ed and this year will be placed befors
the encampment as a strong candidate
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-01-22

tackle. and grappled in earnest with
life. At that time this city was mis-
cradle little hamlet and it took the eye
of philosopher to see the embryonic
future, but Louie saw the future In the
dim vista and his shoe bench with It's
industry, grew into the present colossal
business that has given him name
and fame thruout central Iowa, where
he is understood to be one of the kings
in the boot and shoe trade. His WORK
is always the best and no customer
has ever had occasion to find fault
with it.
MIR Armbruster has not only been
business man who has COMMANDED
the respect of all who knew MIN, put
he has been called to assist IN the
management of city affairs and as
councilman has left his impress on all
Our public works. Probably no one Ola
citizen commands the universal respect
of our citizens and country frlenos
more completely and thoroughly than
l.. Armbruster His work is as good
as his or any other mans bond ana
his trade, because of this confidence IN
his honor and integrity, and the uni
form character of his goods, mas peen
all the most prudent man could DESIRE
and affluence is the reward OF an non
est life and doing by all men as ne
would wish to be done by.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-01-22

the close of the present academic year
in June having reached the age OF SUI
perannuation set by the provisions OF
the Carnegie fund for retired profess
sors DR.. Brastow is the author OF
several books on the great preachers
of the Christian church.
with the duties of dean OF the
school and professor of homiletics ana
practical theology, Mr.. Potter, IL ne &C
cepts the call, will also assume the au-
ties of acting pastor OF the college
church, the duties of which office nave
usually been performed by a member
Of the divinity school faculty. Should
Mr.. Potter not accept the call 1T Is I'M
derstood that the duty of service as
pastor of the college church VIII de-
volve upon the head of the department
OF practical theology when that post
shall have been filled.
when the offer came to Mr. Potter
he informed such members OF the pru-
dental committee of the Center chureh
as he could communicate with and con-
suited with number of persons,
among whom were Rev. Dr. p. r. Par
ker, pastor of the south church, and
Rev. Joseph H. Twichell. pastor of the
Asylum Hill Congregational church,
both of whom are members OF the Yale
Corporation. AS to whether or not he
would accept the call, Mr.. Potter would
not say. as he had not yet mad sutfi-
cient opportunity to consider and adj
wise with others in the matter. He
said:
at is an offer that no man can turn
down without serious consideration.
especially when it Is made direct with
out the question being asked first as to
whether such an offer would be con-
sidered. There is difference between
such an offer and call to another pas
torate. because it involves not only a
change in location, but a change from
the active pastorate to a teaching pas
torate.'
1T Is understood that this is the first
call the Yale Corporation has made.
either in the deanship or to the chair
now occupied by Professor Brastow.
Should the call be accepted. Mr.. Pot
ter, who will make his decision within
few days, will assume the duties of
the offices with the opening OF the
academic year of 19o7-19os, in Septem-
ber"
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-01-22
GOOD ENTERTAINMENT
Mr.. and Mrs. Ella. Day. Imper.on-
ators and characterists, Delight
Large Y. M. c. A. Course Audience
at the Methodist church-Give Play.
let, "The pressmakers Bill"

Mr.. Elias Day appeared for the third
time before a local audience, and with
his wife, Mrs. Oranne Truitt- Day, gave
the fourth, and In many respects one Of
the best, entertainments Of the winte>A
Y. M. G. A. course, Monday night Mr..
Day has made many friends by his
previous appearances, and these, with
the regular course patrons, made one
Of the largest audiences that has wit
messed any of the course entertain
ments.
Mr.. Day comes nearer being an actor
than an impersonator, altho he styles
himself characterize, which, in way,
describes his peculiar ability. Mrs.
Day is an impersonator Of ability, but
does not rank in the same class with
her husband. She is. however, very
clever woman, and ably assists her
husband in the two hours program the
two presented. Their entertainment
consisted of numbers by both Mr.. and
Mrs. Day and one-act playlet called
'The Dressmaker's Bill"
Perhaps one Of the most pleasing
parts OF the program was Mr.. Days
making up before his audience Tor
his different characters. He applied
the paints, wigs and whiskers while he
talked, and the transformation was re-
markable. Mr.. Days best number was
his impersonation Of the character Of
'Altarman Schnickerbloomer." He also
gave two pathetic and touching little
numbers, the first called For France"
q story of the F'ranco-Prussian war.
and Danny" an Irish character sketch,
Both Of these little stories were origi-
nal with Mr.. Day. Mrs Days only
single number was the impersonation
of a child character, called Ills First
Love-"
It may be Of interest to know that
Mr.. Day was at one time an actor and
played comedy part in Hoyts "A
Texas Steer" He has been married dur
ing the past year.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-01-22
Mrs. j. II. Hull Drinks Ch]oro-
form After Quarreling
With Husband
DOSE WAS NOT LARGE ENOUGH
And Doctors, Who Arrived Soon After
the Poison Was Swallowed, Brought
the Patient Out From Under Influ-
ence Of tho Drus-Mrs. Hull Wanted
Her Chicken.

If suicide is not epidemic, as Is
sometimes claimed, appearances indi-
cate such to be fact. Following
closely upon the sad case OF Sunday
morning, Mrs ]. II. Hull, wife OF the
proprietor of the Maple Leaf restaur-
ant, South Second avenue, just off Ne
vada, swallowed chloroform after
quarreling with her husband because
the latter had neglected to buy
chicken his wife had wanted.
Mrs. Hull did not take enough OF the
drug to place her in any immediate
danger. as the vial that she emptied
contained only about half an ounce
Doctors were summoned Immediately,
and it was not long before the woman
was pronounced out of danger.
The Hulls are known to the police,
and about year ago were ordered
by Chief of Police Nicholson to vacate
apartments over an East Main street
drug store, where other tenants COM
planned that they were acting disor-
Derby. Mrs. Hull is woman Of about
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-01-22
WEBSTER NOT so WELL
Well Known MarshaiItown Man, After
Making Partial Recovery From Re-
cent illness, 10 Again Not So Well
Heart Acting Badly, and Suffers
From smotherina Spells.

Byron Webster, whose serious con-
dition of few weeks ago, as result
Of an attack of heart trouble. alarmed
his many friends, ia again not so well.
Mr.. Webster's recovery was miracu-
lous, and from the very brink Of the
grave he rallied and became so much
better that q few days ago, he was
able to sit up and be about the house.
His heart action became worse Mon
day, and he is bothered more or less
from severe smothering spells. when 1t
is almost impossible to get his breath.
While he is not nearly so bad as he
was in his last severe attack, his gem
eral condition is not so encouraging as
it was last week.