The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1907-10-24
ONE WHO LAUGHS


Stafford, Va, oct. 2l, 1907.
To The Free Lance.
Does not our friend, Mr. Rogers. wenr
his motley with "A solemn ruien? Does h.
not shake his cap aud bells with "A rueful
countenance? tie is surely a sad vng
and fallen ia an evil humor. He f. unt
the joker we took him to be. Tie il not
living up to his reputation. Our pitv is
moved. We are almost sad. Remember.
Mr.. Rogers (yOu are good at Latin max
ims), "Qcos Deus Nult, X" We have
no intention Of entering into a battle of
billingsgato with you. We are One Who
Laughs, not One who Blackguards
Surely things cannot be- going well with
you. Ii pains Us To think We havendded
anything TO your cares. We feel like our
parents used TO say they felt when the
time Tor chastisement came; il is our
duty, but We hate to do IL. IL hurts us
more than II does you.
The shafts you have aimed ut Us nre so
beside the mark that they leave Us quite
untouched In temper. Had We been
stricken In tender place no doubt We
would be mad, even as you are.
There Is only one fact that We can
gather with any clearness from the ex-
cited and rather incOherent reioinder
which our little innocent and wellmeant
pleasantly has evoked, and that is YOU
are mad, you are good and mad. You
vince extremely like CALLED lAde. il
seems to Us. We did not mean to hit
you on so sore "a place. We did not
know where your "risin'' was, indeed
We didn't. We were just funming.
What you say ab Iut our wearing "A
Moncure collar is interesting only as
illustrating your point of view IN regard
TO collars. You plainly regard il as IA
virtue to be "a cOllarless and uncombed
political maverick. Your objection 20 "A
collar is physical, we imagine. and the
result OF the habit OF economy. We are
willing to wager large odds, say a real
dollar, to your chance of election, that
you are one OF those who put their faith
In the suiiiciency of "a large and gaudy col
lar button to take the place of both col
lor and neek-tie. We know some other
fellows like that.
AS to our pleasure in remaining anony.
nous, we submit that 1t Is what we say
aud not who we are that Is of impor-
tance to this controversy. You are no
doubt well read in Walter Scott and the
other romantical writer's You will re-
member how common was the custom
Of the knights of real puissanee and re-
nown to use some assumed name when
entering the lists with small and obscure
antagonists. We are animated by the
same spirit. We are not willing that
our friends should know that we have
let our lauce be enlisted in small Dor
der foray; that we have been fitting at
King Georges peregrinating political
windmill, and had an actual personal
encounter with the leader of that small
but devoted band of Pumpkin Neck In
surgents. Forsoothl our fellows Of the
Round Table would mock us with many
a merry iibe.
To what you say about our shooting
from blind or ambush, It may be per-
tinent to reply that this is the usual
method OF shooting geese.
We are informed that you We're for "A
long time school teacher. This accounts
Tor your pedagogic habit OF mind. To YOU
oil the worlds school aud al the men
and women merely pupils. Hence your
owlish pose as a public mentor, with a
monthfnl OF mOuldy platitudes, shaking
warning finger and hiding "a bunch Of
willows behind your back. The pedagogic
habit OF mind always units "a man for
any larger sphere of usefulness, and You
have about the same chance in a race
with wide-swake men ofafiairs as "A spa
vined mule would have in the BROOKLYN
Handicap. Let US tell you, seriously, you
VIII not get five votes in Stafford, and
from the best reports you will not get
fifty 10 your own county. Moncure will
win, Chesley will be second and you-oh,
you will be an "also ram. This may not
be agreeable talk to you, but II Is our
Christian duty to be plain, and II you do
not profit by what we have said the
fault and the folly are yours
Au revoir.
One Who Laughs (Last)