Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1907-10-19
COW ATE DYNAMITE
AND FOR A TIME THERE WAS
CHAOS ON THE FARM.
Peculiar Diet Of Bovine Simply Unset
tied Everythins--caused Labor
Complication Among Other
Things.

Queer demands are coming from the
farmers on the line of the new acque-
duct, says the New York Times.
A claim for "one dynamited COW"
was settled the other. day. When the
claim reached the controller it called
for $425. The controller turned it
over to the board of water supply,
which in turn sent Engineer Charles
q. Davis to investigate The claim
ant was John McCauley, Of Browns
station, Uuster county. The engineer
ing force had been at work near Ibis
place. The claim, he said, included
the trampling down of growing grain
Was the COW blown up?" asked
the engineer
mot exactly" said the claimant
but she scared us all to death. You
see, one of the engineers had left a
stick OF dynamite in a field and the
COW ate it. She probably thought 1t
was an ear of corn or something. You
know how hard it is to get any hired
men in this section. Why, the depart
ment of agriculture has sent out circu-
lars telling the farmer how to get over
the labor difficulty. I've got one Of
them up to the house
We'll, some of the help have had
read that circular that was lying abOli
the house, and then they kicked for
more pay There was Ed and john"
What's that got to do with the
cow" asked the investigator.
well, was telling my story ~ my
own way. You see, labor is scarce,
and had got that darned circular
locked up in a closet, and l was hop
ing to keep Bill with me for little,
when Bill and was walking through
thai field toward the COW. We saw
her eating something and we didn't
mistrust anything until we got up
close to her just as the end of the
stick was sticking out of her mouth,
and 1 saw what it was.
What's she eating? asked Bill. I
didn't feed her anything.
"Bill,' says |, If there's one thing
of which l wouldn't suspect you it's
work. ! know darn well you didn't
feed that COW anything. But she's
fed herself says l. and it's darned
hot stuff says l.
bill he looked a little queer.
"What is it?' says he.
Dynamite says /.
my God" says he.
"He stood still for so long a time
that l thought he wasn't afraid. All
of a sudden the COW turned and walk
ed toward him.
"'Drive her off; wen both be
killed. says Bill, picking up a big
stone.
Don't you do it, says 1; 'she9 ex-
plode. She's full of dynamite, and the
slightest jar'll set her off,
Bill began to laugh-half laugh and
half cry, you know, like a lady sum-
mer boarder l once had who found
toad under her bed when she was
looking for a man, Then says.
"Bill. it's up to you to do some
thing
Why is it up to me?' says he.
You own the cow
That's just it, says l. I own the
COW and you are working for the man
that owns her
BILL gave me look. Then he says:
"Well, l amt working for him no
longer says he, and with that he cut
across the fields without waiting for
his wages
well, my family and stayed that
night at the home of my brother. five
miles away, to make sure of being
safe In the morning / went back to
the farm and found that the COW was
dead The dynamite had poisoned
her. John Wilkey, the dare devil of
the neighborhood. carried off the body
for $40"
The engineer found upon question
ing the force in the neighborhood that
a stick of dynamite had disappeared.
So he settled for $3.50 The farmer
took the money
Say" he said, you know have
a telephone in my house. Day before
yesterday Bill calles me up.
4'Say,' says he, is that COW dead?
If she is I'm coming back for my
wages
"oYou'n get no wages, says t."