River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-01-03


little-at least, in one respect-from
the average man of limited means, the
approach of Christmas found him
troubled, not to say pessiraistic. He
heard the customary talk about Christ
mas; he saw the Christmas advertise
ments in the papers and the Christmas
goods in the shop windows; he read
the accounts of Christmas plans for
feeding or otherwise remembering the
moor; and the only effect it had on him
was to make him jingle the ''lucky
half dollar he carried in his pocket.
and shake his head dolefully.
otis tn da-ay iv tn rich," he said
to himself "'Tis tn time whin We
wa-ant twinty thousand dollars FIR to
90 tn fright thing be all tn good
people we know 'Tis tn da-ay iv give
an ta-ake, an if We can't give ye're
ashamed f'r to ta-ake, an there We are.
IT was diff'rint in tn OF days win
was la-ad, but now livery wan
who ha-ands we out a two-bit sca-arf
Expects FIR to ha-ave as good or bet
Their ba-ack from we, an tn ray-sult
is we all go BROKE givin' things that's
iv no gr-reat use to amy wan, but tn
shtorekeepers that sells thin. 'Tis
f'r me to shtall tn good woman be a
little ta-alk iv har-rd times befoor she
spinds tn rint money buyin' fred ties
an six-f'r-a-nickel see-gar5 be tn
box"
With this object in view Policeman
Flynn entered upon a systematic cam
paign to discourage Christmas shop
ping, and he did it with his usual dip
lomatic ability
''Ye can't impriss thing on tn
mind iv woman be sayin' it wanst
an lettin' it go at that" he told him
self. Eye must ding-daag 1t into her
head without lettin' her know what
ye're doin'."
So he began to drop incidental re-
marks about poverty and hard times,
with a casual suggestion from time to
time to the effect that there would be
no Christmas in that house. Later,
whenever the moment seemed propi
tious, he aired his Christmas views
more at length and even illustrated
them with occasional stories. All in
all, he congratulated himself that he
was accomplishing his purpose with
exceptional cleverness and strategy.
think iv tn bargain days that fol-
lies Chris-musl" he remarked one day
at breakfast. "'Tis tn wa-ay iv tn
world. Whin We ha-ave no money
tn lads in tn shtores is thryin' FIR
to ha-and things out to We at liss than
ha-alf tn cost to ma-ake thin. Ohio!
they're sma-art min, those fellies. All
tn year ye're sayin' to thin that they
niver thruly sell annythin at liss
than cost, an tn day afther Christmas
they come back at We an say: Well
prove to We now that we can do that
very thing be offerin' tn goods at 1iss
than cost whin ye're not in sha-ape FIR
to buy Thin I tell We, Mary, tn wise
wan is tn felly that plans FIR to ta-ake
thin up whin they ma-ake tn bluff y
The logic of this seemed unanswer-
able to Policeman Flynn, and few
days later he supplemented it by re-
minding her that the year before she
was "near dead f. thinkin' iv tn things
We c'u'd ha-ave an comparin' thin
with tn things We did ha-ave, all be-
cause iv tn ba-ad habit iv goin' br-roke
wanst a year." Next, after reason
able interval, he told her about Cullen,
one of the men at the station.
9TH only throuble with Cullen" he
said, was that his hea-art was so big
an ray-sponsive that he c'u'dn't button
his visit over it whiniver amy wan
or annythin' appealed to it. He had
q good head, too, but t was nawthin'
beside iv his hear-rt. His head was
always givin him tn fright tip, but
his hear-rt w'u'dn't Fave him listen to
it. That's why tn byes at tn station
has FIR to dodge him reg'lar afther
Chrismu He come to me on tn
twinty-sivinth da-ay iv last Day-cim-
ber-I ducEed him on tn twinty-sixth,
KNOWN tn kind iv la-ad he was, but
he cornered me on tn twinty-sivinth
an he says to me, he says, Barney
he says, / ha-ave up to tn house. he
says, a bright green nick-tie, an a
red nicktie, an a polky dot nicktie,
an two pipes, an box iv see-gars.
an oP-gold pair iv suspinders, an
some shippers, an fut-rist,' he says;
AN the good woman do be havin' a
sort iv dolly thing, an silk pitt
coat, an some shtockins with pale
blue clocks on thin, an pink SHIRT
waist, an little statoo iv Vanus FIR
to put on tn kitchen shelf, an a
wather-caraffy, an a new taypot,' he
says, an tn childher has a Fred
sca-arf, an a shled, an a pair iv
ska-ates, an a toy gun, an little pa
throl wagon, an some blocks, an a
shteam injine Thin he signs an
says: Barney, I niver intinded FIR
70 do it, but We know how it is ye-er-
silf. VIII We lind me tn loan iv
two-dollar bill SOS we can ate till tn
mkt pay-day?' That's tn wa~ay iv tn
ma-an with tn big hear-rt, Mary, an
SO I've had me hear-rt ossified.'
This naturally had its effect on Mrs.
Flynn. 9TH poor ma-an," she said
to herself; "he do be hs-avin' a hazard
time iv it over tn money, an tbs FIR
me to help him out" SO she glad
dened his heart by proposing that they
ignore Christmas entirely. AS that
WAS the very idea that he hGd in mind
al along. he readily acouiesced. And