Pleasantville weekly press., 1907-04-13
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she could not speak" saw g'wan"--
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Father-Why did you run away,
Franz? Franz-Because mamma was
SO unkind Father-That is no reason.
Do / run away ?-Weiner Caricaturcn.
''That hat is an example OF my thrift.
Bought it three years ago. Had it
pressed twice and exchanged it once for
new one at a cafe."-Fliegende Blaet-
ter.
Miss Passy-Oh, it's very good Of
you, captain, to invite me for the first
waltz. The Captain-Don't mention 1t,
ma'am. This is charity ball.--Pick
Me-Up.
His Daughter-Papa, did you know
mamma long before you married her?
Her Father-Just between you and me,
my dear, / don't know her yet.-Chi-
cago News.
Mrs. A.-That woman next door
bought a hat exactly like mine. Mr.. A.
Didn't it make you mad? Mrs. A.
Not bit; l gave mine to her cook
Illustrated Bits.
Where shall we run in this item
about Senator Crafts retirement?" the
reporter asked. Under Public In
provements," said the news editor
Los Angeles Times.
Gladys-I am going to buy an auto
mobile and l want you to go along and
help me select one. Cousin Jack-Not
for me, little girl. Why, even wouldn't
pick you out husband.-Puck.
Nan-How attentive young Mr.. ALI
GAVIN is to his pretty wife! FAM
don't wonder you notice it, but you
must have been misinformed. They are
not married yet.-Chicago Tribune.
Lecturer-And what man is most apt
to reach that elevation whence the
earth may be viewed "as one vast
plainT Smart Student-The one that
works in gunpowder mill.-Chums.
"Now that my wife is doing the cook
ing herself she can accomplish with $40
worth Of food twice as much as our
late cook did" "You don't say?" "Yes;
at any rate l get twice as much dys-
pepsia. a."-Philadelphia Press.
Il learned that the performance was
no good, so did not get you the matt
nee tickets as you wished" ''The fact
that the show is no good doesn't alter
the fact that have new dress to
show off, does itg"-Houston Post.
/ is your family entertaining this sea-
SOM" inquired the society devotee.
WELL" answered Mr.. Cumrox, "moth-
er and the girls seem kind Of amusing
to me, but everybody else seems to take
'em seriously. y."-Washington Star.
There are times when machinery
seems almost human. YES" answered
the man who smells of gasoline. II am
frequently unable TO be sure whether I,
am fooling with my automobile or it is
fooling with me. e.'-Washington Star.
You have lived way out in the sub.
urbs ever since have known you."
YES" isn't it inconvenient?" quite
the opposite; you have no idea how
many excuses suburbanite can find
for getting home late. Houston Post
I'VE come near lynchin' the wrong
man yesterday" said Cactus Cal; "just
ready to swing him off, too." "But just
then you discovered the mistake. eh?"
remarked the tourist. What luck !"
''Wuzn't it though? fhe worst l ever
hear tell f."-Philadelphia Press.
Mrs Bacon-Pins are not used in,
China. Clothes are fastened with but
tons and buttonholes, or with loops and
frogs; and a person is considered un-
tidy who resorts to such makeshifts as
pins. Mr.. Bacon-That's good thing
to know: man can hug girl with i'm
punity in China.-Yonkers Statesman.
First Dude-How is 1t that you get
invitations to balls, parties, weddings
and other festivities? Second Dude
1t is the simplest thing in the world,
my dear fellow. When l suspect that
any Of my big-wig acquaintances are
going to give one, tell them ! shall
be out of town. They imagine 1t is
safe to invite me. They do so, and. 10
and behold bob up serenely. STRAIT
egy, my boy. strategy !-Tid-Bits.