The Prescott daily news., 1907-06-10
PURE FOOD LAWS Mrs. Grady Tells Just How They
 Came to Be Passed.

thin wonderful to till yeZ. It's to do wid thim wimmins' clubbers an the things we're afther 'atin'. D'yez know, an Oill bit yez doan't, thot the stooff we ate ain't allus whot we're atin' at all. It's thrue whot Oim tillin' yez this bliSsid Hminnit: sum av thim SOrSageS ain't sorsagers at all, amy more than the chickun is rale hin or the rost bafe is bafe; an the strawberry jam niver seed strawberry, an the hambur- ger stake is doped wid rid Now. phwat do yez.think O thot? The saints save us, did veg iver hear the loikes nv ut? Oill till yeZ as how Oi got onto ut.
 Wan dhay a wimmin's clubber was aitin' kitchup, an, the saints save us, she pulled out red stirring. Now, nhwat do yeZ think O that? Whist" says the clubber, bring me magnifyin' glass to wunst Dive made a dischov fry; it's bit O rid flahnin," said she. "Oi've hur-red till uv it at me club" says she. Did yez iver see the loikes uf thim millunyer kitchupers a cooler in the stoof wid paces av their wives rid flannin petticoats, an thim so will able to give their ovid clothes to the nady, an we're afther atin thin1. How thim," says she.
 An dye moind she towld the ither clubbers, an livery wan av thim sthart- ed out wid her bit av a magnifyin' oil a E0ird n 1nilyn an they was afther gettin' the names av the paple that's chatin' in the fude. an thin they wrote letthers to the shit "Niver moind," says they to the sinit, that Mormoner wid too nanny wives; put yure moind on the fude or there won't be amy man anywhere wid amy wife at all."
 The shit rade thim letthers, an phwat do yez think they did wid thim? The saints have mercy on thim, didn't they put thim in bit av box an sint thim to vault an thin they sthuck their fate up on the disks an stharted to shmoke so contintid loike. An whin the wimmin clubbers heerd till uv ut, they was foightin' mad. Lifts have matin'," says they, an they all got to- gither, loike they was goin to wake. An one av thim says, "LOidies, the pure fude bill is dyin shmoked to dith by the shit; what shall we be af- ther doin' wid it?" Lifts tillygraf the prisidint," says wan av thim an wid that they all clapped their hands an sthomped their fate. Och, it's no lie Oi'm tillin' yez, Mis- O'Toole, but wan dhay whin the prisidint was sated at his desk koind av aisy loike in his shir-rt slaves, in cums his sicritiry an says: Mister Prisidint, here's a tilly gram; rade it to wunst; it's frum ate hoondurd thousant wimmin's club bers, axen if yezll passh the pure fude bill. They're wantin' to know, SOFT, to wunst."
 Lit them wate till Oim trough wid me fincin," says the prisidint. ''Oi musht rejuce me wate the first thing Oi do"
 "Oi do be thinkin thim wimmin's clubbers are afther gittin impashunt," says the sicritiry;, they're afther wroitin' letthers be the ton to the sin it, an now they're tillygrafted to yure riverince an l want to know whot's to hinder thim cummin' on" says he; If letthers won't do. an tillygrafs won't do, av coorse they'll cum thim- silves; it's the way av wimmin's club bers."
 "Tillygraf thim to wunst," says the rrisidint; say to thim, sthay where yez are; yez doan't made throuble yer silves to cum. Oi'll passh ut all roight."
 Wild that he trew up the windy to git bit av irish air.
 Be jabbers,, thot was close call" says he.
 An at that minnit there was anither rap at the dure.
 "Anither tillygram," says the sicri- tiry.
 "Rade it." says Misther Roseyvilt.
 An he rade: "Mooch obleeged to yez, Misther Prisidint Roseyvilt, an rimimber thot ate hoondurd thousant wimmin's clubbers are watchin' to see if yez kape it.
 ''The saints in hivin defind yez," says the sicritiry fits bad to have wan woman watchin' on yez and open in yez pay envilope iviry Saturdhay noight, but phwat will yez do wid ate hoondurd thousant av thim all spy in on yez? If yez sate yersif an yure poorch at Oysther Bay, yez can't kape . thim out. ,Begorra yez can't avin get a dhrink on the shly widout thim see in yez" Be jabbers," says the prisi.