davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Elbert County tribune., 1907-08-22
Autographs and Holoaraphs.

IAN autograph" said an antiquary,
rs worth nothing, while a holograph
may be worth 81 900 or more. An au-
tograph Of man is his simple sigma
ture. His holograph is one of his
signed letters. and it's value depends
on its interest.
Some men are such fools that they
think autographs valuable and holo-
graphs worthless.
Il know a man who found in his
grandfather's chest lot of important
letters of Franklin, Washington, Aaron
Burr, Hamilton, Andre and jefferson.
He read these letters; then he burnt
them. first cutting out the signatures
For the signatures he got so cents
apiece or thereabouts. For the letters
In their entirety he would have gotten
from 800 to $500 apiece.
by this loss of about $4,000 the
man learned the difference between an
autograph and holograph"
The Elbert County tribune., 1907-08-22
His Daring Bluff.
WHO was Jupiter Pluvius, dea

who was Jupiter Pluvius, dear?"
"Eh? Why you know who Jupiter
vast"
Yes, dear, but who was Pluvius?"
"Pluvius? Why, Pluvius is a family
name. ]. Pluvius, see? Jupiter was
,Pluvius on his fathers side"
But thought it had something to
do with rains?"
Ell? oh. that's different. That's
another Pluvius. He was an early
Roman emperor. They always called
him Pluvy for short. He named him.
self Jupiter because he was good
deal struck with his job as emperor"
Did he have anything to do with
rains?"
"Of course he did. His reign was
one Of the longest on the Roman cal.
endar."
Thank you, dear"
The Elbert County tribune., 1907-08-22
Sheer white goods, in fact, any nm

Sheer white goods, in fact, any flns
wash goods when new, owe much of
their attractiveness to the way they
are laundered, this being done in a
manner to enhance their textile beau
ty. Home laundering would be equal
ly satisfactory If proper attention was
given to starching, the first essential
being good Starch, which has sufficient
strength to stiffen, without thickening
the goods. Try Defiance Starch and
you will be pleasantly surprised at the
improved appearance of your work.
The Elbert County tribune., 1907-08-22
In The september Century.

An interesting pictorial feature Of
the September Century will be four
pages reproduced from pictures by G.
w. Peters of excavations for railroad
terminals In New York City; showing
bird's-eye view Of the excavation for
the new Pennsylvania railway station,
section Of the same at Thirty-third
street looking east, view In the exca-
vation- for the new station of the New
York Central. and the sinking Of the
foundations OF the terminals OF the
Hudson river tunnel at Fulton and
Church streets.
The Elbert County tribune., 1907-08-22
Cunninu Chan.

YES" confessed the blushing girl
with the white parasol. Il thought it
rather odd that Jack should keep on
asking about our college yell. Finally,
to get rid of him, told him it was
three yells in quick succession"
What them" asked her chum
What then? Why, the goose kissed
me three times before 1 could re-
monstrate and when I gave yell for
each kiss mamma thought 1 was CIV
ing the class yell"
The Elbert County tribune., 1907-08-22
Late Already.

Five minutes after the tardy gong
had struck. the principal of the school
was walking through the lower hall
when he saw pudgy little fellow
scampering toward the first grade
room as fast as his fat legs could
carry him. "See here, young man, 1
want to talk to you." called the prin-
cipal to the late conner. 81 hain't got
time to talk to you; I'm late already"
replied the breathless beginner as the
door Of his classroom closed.-The
Circle.
The Elbert County tribune., 1907-08-22
Fresh Fuel.

The scrap between the married cou-
pie had died down to few listless
mutterings, and the canary bird in the
cage was beginning to think about
singing again, when she remarked, as
a sort of afterthought:
"At any rate, everybody In my fam
lily thinks / am very intelligent"
Eyes, by the side of them you are"
he replied with a bitter snort.
After this the scrap was renewed
jubilantly.
The Elbert County tribune., 1907-08-22
a Country Marvel.

The little fresh air boy was COM
fortably quartered in farm house
near the salt water for his summers
outing. The first day he strolled down
the road to the marshes and he stared
in astonishment at the cat-tails grow
ing there. Then turning around to a
native Of the place who was accom-
panying him he said: Gosh; didn't
know that sausages grow on sticks"
The Elbert County tribune., 1907-08-22
The Reason Why.

"How did you come here?" said one
Mexican bull to an old acquaintance,
as they met in the arena.
"How?" replied the other, with a
glance around. Il may say l was
roped in
The Elbert County tribune., 1907-08-22

1 could not do housework. and for two
years did not get out of the house.
The kidney secretions were irregular,
and doctors were not helping me-
Doan's Kidney Pills brought me quick
relief, and finally cured me. They
saved my life"
Sold by all dealers. SO cents box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
The Elbert County tribune., 1907-08-22

Laundry work at home would be
much more satisfactory If the right
Starch were used. In order to get the
desired stiffness, 1t is usually neces-
sary to use SO much starch that the
beauty and fineness of the fabric Is
hidden behind paste of varying
thickness, which not only destroys the
appearance, but also affects the wear
ing quality of the goods. This trou-
BILE can be entirely overcome by using
Defiance Starch, as 1t can be applied
much more thinly because of its great
er strength than other makes.
The Elbert County tribune., 1907-08-22
He Was Mot to RIame.

Little Bartholomew's mother over
heard him swearing like a mule
driver, says the Cleveland Leader. He
displayed fluency that overwhelmed
her. She took him to task, explaining
the wickedness of profanity as well
as its vulgarity. She asked him where
he had learned all those dreadful
words. Bartholomew announced that
Cavert, one of his playmates, had
taught him. Cavert's mother was
straightway informed and Cavert was
brought to book. He vigorously de-
MED having instructed Bartholomew,
and neither threats nor tears could
make his confess. At last he burst
out: Il didn't tell Bartholomew any
cuss words. Why should know how
to cuss any better than he does?
Hasn't his father got an automobile,
too?"
The Elbert County tribune., 1907-08-22
Foreign WATERWAYS.

Since we began the neglect and
abandonment Of canals, France has
quadrupled her waterways. Accord
ing to figures furnished by CONNER
cial associations. the British isles
have 5000 miles of canal and it does
not all antedate the railroad.
The Elbert County tribune., 1907-08-22
One to Reckon With.

There's a little girl who gave her
folks shock the other day
MA, l want bathing suit" she
said.
"You shan't have any," ma replied.
Then I'll go bathing without one"
The bathing suit matter is now be-
ing arbitrated
The Elbert County tribune., 1907-08-22

from kidney trou-
bles- Ny back panied
me terribly. Every
turn or move caused
S h a r p, S h O o.t n g
pains. My eyesight
was poor. dark spots
appeared before me,
and l had dizzy
SMELLS. For ten wears
The Elbert County tribune., 1907-08-22
Old Bell stIII rolls curfew.

In the belfry of the old parish
church at Bury, England. the curfew
that tolled the knell of the parting day
300 years ago is still in place. and is
rung every night at sunset.
The Elbert County tribune., 1907-08-22
Cured.

Il thought that prisoner was reported
in = dying condition." said the visitor.
pointing to a husky specimen.
HE was" replied the warden, but
when he found the public didn't care
whether he died or not he seemed to
lose interest in the plan"
The Elbert County tribune., 1907-08-22
shake Into Your Shoes

Aliens Foot-Ease. 1t cures painful, swollen,
smarting, sweating feet Makes new shoes
easy; Sold by all Druggists and Shoe Stores.
Don't accept any substitute. Sample FREE
Address A. S. Olmsted. lie Roy, N. Y.
The Elbert County tribune., 1907-08-22
TEN YEARS OF PAIN.
Unable to Do Even Housework Be-
cause Of Kidney Troubles.

Mrs. Margaret Emmerich, Of Clin-
ton St, Napoleon. O., says: For
fifteen years I was a great sufferer
The Elbert County tribune., 1907-08-22
WANTED ESs EESSna fHl savY MaY

GO TO SEA-Young men from II TO IS years of
age; waRcs t16 to go per month. Recruits Will be
assigned to a U. s. Naval Vessel and Apprentice
seaInen to Naval Training Station Special Training
given at Artifcer, Electrical Yeoman and Hospital
RECRtTTING STATION, ROOM 2. PIONEER
BLDG. 18th and Larfmer sts, Denver, Colorado
The Elbert County tribune., 1907-08-22

A life in continual need is half-death.
The Elbert County tribune., 1907-08-22

Let thy discontents be thy secrets.
Franklin.
The Elbert County tribune., 1907-08-22

Mrs. Winsiow's Soothing Syrup.
For children teething softens the gums. reduces IN
nammation, asys pain, cures wind collie 25c bottle
The Elbert County tribune., 1907-08-22
TO CURE ECZEMA.

The one infalIibIe method by which
Eczema can be quickly and permanently
cured is by the use of HEIsKELL'S OINT-
MEST. For halfa century this great re m edv
has been the means OF curing skin diseases
Of every nature. Erysipelas, letter, Ulcers.
Pimples, Ringworm, Blotcby Skin, Erup,
tions, Rough Skin, Salt Rheum Scala
Head-all yield as readily to the marvelous
curative virtues OF HErsKELL's OINTMENr
as the dread ddisease-Eczema. Before reapply-
Ing the ointment, bnthe the affected parts
using HEISRELL' MEDICINAL SoAp
HEIsKELLs BLOOD AND LIVER PILLS tone
up the liver and cleanse the blood. Oint-
ment, so cents box; Soap, % cents a cake:
Pills, % cents n bottle-at all druggists
Send for interesting book OF testimonials to
JOHNSTON, HOLLOWAY & Co., 53l Commerce
Street. Philadelphia. Pa
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-08
"Ifurrah.v

The history of many race may be
read in its battle cry. The "Banzai =
Of the japanese, the "Faghaghballah =
Of the Irish, and our own "Hurrah =
have found their origin far back in
history.
Although many authorities have de,
clared that the word "hurrah' is a de-
velOpment of the Jewish "Hosannah,' u
the consensus of opinion now is that ii
Is corruption of the ancient battle
cry of the wild Norsemen, "Tur ale -
meaning. "Thor aid u.s. Formerly the
word was spelled "Huzza" and pro
nounced "Hurray." In one form or
another it is used by almost every
nation.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-08
lie TOOK n HesT.

AS it Is undoubtedly true that one
mans meat may be another mans poi
son, so it happens sometimes that what
seems like work to one person is re-
garded as recreation by another.
Had good lecture on Alasky, didn't
we, Eb?" asked one Of Mr.. Dodd's neigh
bors, meeting him the day after the
lecture. ITO sit there peaceful as pie
for two hours, hearing him reel off the
information and seeing those pictures
cast on the screen, was a grand rest
for me, beat out with cranberrying as
l be-"
1T was a good enough talk" admit.
ted Mr.. Dodd, in a grudging tone, 'but
it didn't rest me any to speak Of Be
tween having to set stock still without
chance to get in word for two NOR
tai hours and crane my neck looking at
those views, 1 was pretty well wore
when got home.
"But l took the lantern out into the
woodshed, and by the time I'd split uj
a weeks kfndlings 1 felt kind O. rested
an calmed down."
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-08
OLD "F1NoCHLE."
odd Character Who In Getting Rich
on Needs of Cornell Students

odd Character Who In Getting EIcl
or Needs of Cornell students.
with the close Of the school year al
Cornell University, Aaron Wells, more
widely known at "Pinochle," reaps q
golden harvest. Stnudents who are
hard up go to him at this time and
borrow money, sometimes on notes and
frequently "on honor" only, but they
one and all have to pay old Plnochle
fat interest.
Wells began business there ten years
ago practically without a dollar. Too
poor to pay rent, he stood on the street
offering to buy secondhand wearing
apparel Of any kind Now he has a
lpretentlous clothing store and it is as
much of landmark as the Dutch
Kitchen or the office of the registrar Of
the university. Five men are now en-
ployed by the Industrious clothier. who
makes small fortune In this business
alone.
His agents still hang around on the
corners, but Pinochle only goes up the
! hill when telephoned for. Every once
In a while swell fraternity men will
summon him up to the house and there
| is a grand clearance sale. Suits that
have only been worn for one season.
dress clothes that are a bit too small.
overcoats Of the most fashionable
styles, all are thrown toward the little
clothing man with the query, What
am ! bidT Sometimes the clothes are
fairly worn out; more often the owner
Is pretty hard up, and in both cases
they are sold for a ridlculously low
price
suit that cost $40 will go to Pin
ochle for So, and dress coats and over
coats bring from S. to $40. Sometimes
he student will kick, but the best he
can get out Of the imperturbable dealer
is well, III match you. Five dol
lars or nothing" And even at this
game he usually wins. He makes about
800 per cent on every article he buys.
but the students need the money, so
they let it go.
But 1t Is In the money-lending busi-
ness that Wells has acquired the great
est celebrity. Almost any fraternity
man IN Ithaca with whom he has done
business in clothes, or any well-to-do
student who can get an introduction to
him, can make a touch" when he is
hard up. and thousands Of dollars are
loaned out every year. Money to go
home on, to bet on football, baseball |
and track games and crew races, to
pay bills that are about to be sued on,
to play poker within fact, money for
everything can be obtained from Wells.
In small sums or large, it makes little
difference. Sometimes the men leave
town without paying up; there have
been cases of loans as high as $500
out for years. but in the end
they are collected Either the borrow
ars themselves pay or their parents pay
for them, as Pinochle keeps close watch
and knows the addresses of all his
clients. He Is the best pinochle player
in Ithaca.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-08

Miss Agnes Slack, secretary Of the
International W. c. T. T.. told on the
Merton, as she was about to sail for
Liverpool, a temperance story:
"A little boy. one evening at dinner
gazed at his fathers face long while,
aid then said:
Papa, what makes your nose so
dreadful redT
Tho east wind of course the faith
er answered with gruf haste. Pass that
jug of beer, and don't talk so much
Then, from the other end of the ta-
bic the boys mother said sweetiy:
"Ies, Tommy, pass your father the
east wind, and be careful not to spill
any on the table CLOTH"
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-08
MUTUAL SERVICE.

The experience of Capt. Robert Ber
ham, during troubles with the Indian
In Ohio In 11IS, Is one Of the stranges
IN the history of Indian warfare. Th
author of THE Ohio River" gives
description Of 1t. Having broker
through the line Of Indians during
battle, Benham made his escape, though
wounded by musket-bal in both leg.
near the loins. He reached an i'm
mense fallen tree. crawled under 1t
and lay still through the ensuing night
and the next day, In bitterest pain.
ION the evening Of the second dav
| he shot raccoon on a tree near by,
hoping by some means to get and cook
| it. At the crack of his musket the
sound Of human voice reached him.
In a moments time he reloaded and
awaited the Indians approach. resolv-
ed to fight to the last extremity. The
voice sounded nearer.
"Whoever you are were the be-
seeching words, answer me- And at
the words a borderer, shot through
both arms, came into sight.
''The comrades were unspeakably
pleased each to find the other, for be-
tween them they had a pair of arms
and a pair Of legs, and therefore some
hope Of life and escape. As best he
could. Benham dressed all the wounds.
and then proceeded to cook some food:
all that could be done with arms and
hands Benham did, cooking, loading
and firing the gun.
His comrade, having the rims of a
hat placed between his feet by Ben
ham, waded into the river and secured
sufficient water Tor their needs he also
drove wild turkeys near enough to Ben !
ham to allow him to bring some down, |
and then he kept tossing them with
the toe of his boot toward camp until .
they were within Benham's reach. BY /
the same means be kept his partner
with wood.
when the wounds healed and the
men could travel, they camped at the
mouth of Licking River in the hope
,f being picked up by passing fiat
,oat. Near the last of November a
,oat was hailed, and although it took
ome time TO prove that they were
lot such savages as their appearance
Indicated. they were taken on board
nd carried to Louisville"
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-08
All Tangled I'm.

The boy temporarily in charge of the
"morgue' in the Office of the Daily Thun-
derbolt was not sure whether he had
found the portrait the night editor want
ed or not, as there was no name on it,
In despair he called up that function
ary through the telephone.
Say" he exclaimed, II wish you
would send somebody down here that
can tell me whether this is a cut of Sena-
tor Knox, Boss Croker or Harry Or
chard, and be blamed quick about it -
Chicago Tribune.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-08
He Had Enough.

Here's note" said the postal clerk.
"from man complaining that his mail
isn't delivered regularly"
whats his name| asked the hcief.
Observation-Disclosures
Huh! With that name you'd think
he had all the letters he needed
Philadelphia Press.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-08
Dogs and Musical Tones.

The capacity Of dogs to distinguish
musical tones has been made the sub
ject Of elaborate experiments by DR..
Otto Kalischer, Of Berlin, and the re-
suits have just been published in the
proceedings Of the Berlin Academy of
Sciences. DR.. Kalischer trained his
dogs to pick up and eat morsels Of
meat set before them only when a GER
tain note was sounded.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-08
Too Much of n Good Thtnu

Didn't you get an order out of that
ouyer?" demanded the head of the
drm.
NO" replied the salesman, "you see.
[ didn't begin TO talk business to him
until Id given him a good big din
ler"
Maybe the dinner wasn't good
enough
IL think 1t was too good. 1t gave
aim dyspepsia. a."-Philadelphia Press
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-08
Said She.

Prof. McGoozle (suddenly checking
himself)-Pardon me. Miss Genevieve,
for talking so long. When | get started
on my hobby | never know when to stop
! ought not to have assumed, anyhow,
that you are interested in antiques.
Miss de Muir-Indeed | am, professor.
! could listen to you for hours.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-08
Her Given Are.

Bacon-The average age Of persons
arrested in New York City is 221b
years and one out Of five is a woman.
Egbert-I suppose the age liable to
be given by the woman brings the aver
age away down.-Yonkers Statesman.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-08
Not ConcIuSiye

Society Leader-What Is there a re-
port out that | am going to marry Col.
Gazoop? Why | don't even know him .
Matronly Frend-That proves moth
ing, my dear. l have been married to
DR.. Permangan for thirty-seven years.
and l don't know him even vet.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-08
A Distinction.

$50 you are one of the men who
went west to grow up with the coun-
try"
NO" answered the prosperous and
serene citizen. 81 am one of the men
how to grow up properly. y."-Washing
ton Star,
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-08

II hear old Grandpa Jinx has passed
away"
"Yes and the family miss him very
much"
Il should think they would be glad
for him, he had the palsy terribly"
Eyes, but they used to fasten him to
the churn and he'd bring the butter in
no time."-Fort Worth Record.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-08
How the Ball Wound Up,

"Yaas, de beauty an chivalry OBJ
Smoketown mingled in the ballroom"
Mingled, yo' say?"
Mingled till bout 'leven o'clock.
Den dey mixed. Houston (Texas)
Chronicle.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-08
The Limit.

Biggs-The Dopsons are very exclu-
sive, | understand.
Diggs-Yes indeed. Why, they even
have wire screens on their doors and
windows so their flies can't get out
and associate with the flies Of their
neighborS
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-08
Preferences.

The Court-Six years at hard labor.
You'll get a chance to learn a trade,
my man.
Burglar-Judge, couldn't l be per-
mitted to learn it by-er-correspond
eQce course ?-puck
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-08

Sir Henry Samuel, vino was a Union.
ist candidate for Parliament, is the au-
thor of this bull The legislative gar
den of the Liberals is an arid swamp"
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-08
Somewhat Different.

The honeymoon was only memory.
"On our wedding day" ste said al
was under the impression that you had
filled my heart with sunshine"
"Well?" he queried.
But find" she continued, that 1t
was only moonshine Chicago News.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-08
Pleasant for Clarence.

The sharp, penetrating voice of the
young woman's mother rang out on the
still night air.
Marie, come in the house this minute .
Haven't l told YOU"
Mamma" interrupted an equally
sharp voice, appearing to come from
somewhere on the front porch, this isn't
Jack This is Clarence ~
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-08

For a violin by Perrus Guarnerius,
dated 1895. EGO was given at a recent
sale in London; while one by Nicholas
Lupot fetched f240.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-08
Shake Into Your Shoes

Aliens Foot Ease. A powder. 1t makes tigh.
or new shoes feel easy 1t is certain cure for
sweating, -callous and hot, tired, aching feet
Sold by. all Druggists. Price 25c. Trial pack.
age mailed FREE. Address Allen S. Olmsted,
Leroy, New York.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-08

Water from an arteslan well at Ostend
which has been wasted for fifty years has
now been discovered to possess medicinal
qualities similar to the waters of Vichy.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-08

At Culross Abbey in Fife Scotland, a
tombstone has been found which is be-
lieved to date from the fourth century Of
the Christian era.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-08

The London milkman covers his route
on foot, pushing a hand cart with three
wheels, which carries his cans of milk
and his different measures
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-08
Clever Mt That.

"Who is that seedylooking man over
theleW
That's Burroughs. He's a real mas,
ter at constructing short Stories"
"Oh. an author, eh?"
"No. l mean he can think I'D any
number of ways of telling you he's
broke. e."-Philadelph Press.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-08
One Exception.

Mrs. Wickler-Dear me! how all the
recessaries of life have gone up.
Wckler-No; they haven't all gone
up.
Mrs. Wickler-Well I should like
you to mention one thing that hasn't
gone up.
Wickler-Certainly. My salary.-II-
lustrated Bits
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-08

Gesture language still exists in parts
of Australasia. Some tribes possess SO
excellent code that it is almost an
efficient as a spoken language.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-08

Americans and American capital are
going into Ceylon to assist in the devel-
opment of the teagrowing industry this
year as never before