The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1907-06-25

MR.. DOOLEY.
I take back what I said about givin'
up me job as Prisidint iv this bar 70
d c~andydate fr REELECTION fr tn tenth
term. an tn divile a k George Wash
ington an his example.
Yes, sir, It's "a great question
What We'll do with our ex-Prisidints.
But it amt ra-aly much iv a question
afther all. dye mind. It's something
/ hin Nv whin I've read through all
tn advertisements in tn pa-apers,
wound me watch. counted UP tn cash.
an am Waitin' FIR some thrifn'
amusements like a visit firm you.
There's nawthin' else to think iv. an
7 think about that. But if ye think
much about anything. no matther
how thIifin' it may be. it gets to be
as a big as a lone house painted red.
/ begin to think iv naWthin' but our
eX-Prisidints. They threaten tn
land. They obscure tn sun. They're
divastatin' our crops. I'm no sooner
settled down to sleep thin an ex-
Prisidint is knockin' at tn dure seekin'
shelter. [ must get Up an give him
me bed an go to sleep On tn fure-
TIL ex-Prisidints will eat us OUT tv
house an home. They'll increase so
that in a few years respectable peo-
pie will ave no say in tn govern
mint iv tn country. They'll be
formin' unions an leagues; they'll
boss us; they'll t~yrannize over US. we
won't be able to say our souls ARE
cur own. On III other and If we
don't threat thin right, whatll hap
pen? They'll have to take to ignoble
pursoots; ex-Prfsidints will be pan
handlin' on tn sthreet %Orners; they'll
be grindin' h~andorgans; they'll de-
sthroy tn dignity iv tn office so that
no wan'll liver again thry to be Prisi-
dint.
"'Tis a fearful prospect. but on'y
FIR awhile. An thin | wake up. Ye
poke ye'er cherry face into tn dure
an I'm brought back to earth. | ray
mimber that in me lifetime there have
niver been more thin two or three eX-
max me aisy. Whatll we do with
our ex-Prisidints? say We. l don't
know what to do with tn ESetalians.
tn Huns or tn naygurs. They're too
NANNY fr me. But whin it comes to
dalin' with two or three old gintle-
men out iv a job, III tell We what III
do. I'll do nawthin'. That's what III
Go. Amy man that gets to be Prisi-
din iv tn United States don't need
to have amy cOnservator appinted FIR
him. Ye bet he don't. A man with
that much luck cud make a comfort
able win takin' chances on sofa pill
lows at a church fair.
No. sir, tn question iv VIVA Well
do with out ex-Prisidints is very i'm
portant to tn ex-Prisidints thimsilves.
US we were tn most enlightened, tn
~freest, tn kindest. an best people in
tn wurruld. Well, we're goin' to do
something fine FIR We. We're goin' to
make We wan iv US. Last week ye
were our servant. Ye said so. though
We often come out an batted US over
tn head with a potato masher. Ye
were our servant, but were gOin' to
promote We. We're goin' to make We
an equal. We're goin' to take We out "
tn Kitchen. There's a new cook in
/ there now. I can hear him THROWN
ye're soup stock out iv tn window an
sayin' that we've injured tn stove be-
You'd repair. Take that big aisy chair
hearth fire. fall to with knife an
fork, an thank tn Lord ye don have
Prisidint squares away an puts NTH
rest iv his life critisizin' tn manners
iv tn family an mutterin' between his
teeth, 'What a bum cook
But it must be a har-rd Job to let
go iv. It's a ~sthrange thing, tn diff
frence between tn nan without a job
an tn man with a Job. And Ameri-
can citizen in a Prince Albert coat an
a plug hat goes up Pennsylvania
Avenoo followed by two milishy rigi-
minis, tn Chamber iv Commerce iv tn
! District iv Columbus, tn walters
uIlAOtA, on III oCoSbol
team. He's an American citizen with
a plug hat an a Prince Albert coat,
an that's all he is. Near ivrywan
calls him be his first name. He climbs
up On tn grandstand, me frind Mel
VILE Fuller. that used to have an of
fee in Dearbon Sthreet befure he
abandoned tn law, says a few wurruds
to him, an suddenly he's as much
changed as if he'd been BORN again.
In about two minnyits he gets a boost
tn like iv which was niver known.
A King is always goin' to be a King
But no wan is liver goin' to be Prisidint
till about twelve O'Clock noon on tn
foorth iv March. an in a minnyit af-
Their he's not a King, but an ace. He's
tn whole thing. He sweeps tn
boords. He may be a little scared at
first, but there are plenty to tell him
that anything he does is all right.
What kind iv bloom is it that We put
into tn sea to make it so blue, Misther
P~risidint?' It a fine moon we've
ordhered out tonight His story is
tn best sorry liver told: tn foorth-
class Post Offices rock with laughter