davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-11-01
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Did l tell you that L had asked aultie
to come here, Len?"
No YOU certainly did not" replied Leo-
nard Nancourt, his forehea lowering into
Il frown, as he helped himself to u aecond
piece of toast. Might l inquire which OF
the two IS going to afford us the delicious
delight of her presence. Clarissa the satur-
nine, or Amelia the maspie itnitator?"
Lent" The delicately-traced eyebrows
were raised in indignant e~Xpostulation.
II think that it is particularly unkind of
you to speak in that manner of nay re!a-
tons. You used to say that aunt Amelia
was a shrewd business woman
II would be the last to deny her that
qualification, Celia" remarked Nancourt
grimly. 1T was positively a stroke of
genius the way the old r~epiile-ahem-
lady, palmed off on to me that property
in Southwark. Fifteen houses, my dear,
with only documentary damage and a
hungry county council waiting ON me to
render the same effective. Aunt Amelia
ought TO nave been ii company promoter.
lIgad, she would have made her fortune ct
the game. my respected aunt-in-law has 1t
in her bones. Where is the Daily i.N-
press?
Celia's lip commenced to CULVER.
II think that you are hoalid, Len" she
vouchsated at length, glancing reproacll-
fully at her husband, who suddenly be-
tdIlIt IlllillttSeAi IN l!lt IilOlItH mar VIZ
umn of the paper, which he had discovered
under the table.
II must say that / think YOU are p~articu-
larly uMkind to speak of my relations in
the way you always do! You should not
forget, dear. that aunt Clarisse has been
more than a mother to me, and brought
me up since i was a Tiny tot. The first
time you ever met me, Len, was at hel
house
II know" replied Eancourt casually
.'But If il hadn't been tor Gus Harrington
taking me TO Rutland Gate l should nevel
have seen either of YOU. l remember the
evening well. | took IN instructive dislike
to Your respected, more than n mother o1
an aunt, a feeling incidentally which has
intensified ever Since
"You used to say that you were very
fond of heretofore we Were married
Len"
Nancourt coughcd Grily.
II was diplomatic, Celia" he said quiet
lN, as. laying aside his paper. he butterec
a piece of toast. You see, as l could onl.
see You in her house. j was obliged. in {
sort of Way, to hold the candle to the
YOUR aunt
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-11-01
II SOCIAL O U
The Greatsr Need.

Allen Tpdegraff. Yale poet and eN-jani-
tor of Upton Sinclair's Helicon Hall COLI
ony, was talking in Baltimore about his
long tralnping expedition to the Fiji
islands
"Crossing the continent" said MIR. Up
degraff, Il shah fraternize with the
trarnps l met ON the way. | find tramps
interesting. In many things they are
learned, and they are often intelligent and
witty.
Il once had the acquaintance of a witty
tramp in New Haven. lie told NE one
day of Il passage al arms he had just had
with az old phllanthropist.
Stopping the old llan, the tramp said
piteously:
Kind friend, will you give ne the price
of a loaf of bread? have not tasted food
for We days
The old man at once gave the tramp a
nickel. Then he proceeded on his way. But
at the next corner he saw the tramp come
forth from a saloon, wiping his lips on
his coat sleeve. and he said Indignantly:
".You're a pretty fellow. You told me
| you hadn't tasted food for two days, and
when l give YOU u nickel YOU so and spend
it on beer
But. boss said the tramp. L hadn't
tasted beer for Two days and Il half"
Hes the husband OF my first Gus.
toner"
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-11-01

across You, / will ask Aunt Clatissa when
she comes here
Il tell you she isn't coming here in
~terrupted Nancollt peremptorlly. II won t
have the old cat N the house-so there.
I'm master here, kindly remember"
And l ann MISTRESS r~etorte,l Celia.
so Aunt Clar.ssa shall come, and"
"Nhat"'
And when she does I-I-shall tell her
that-how unkind YOU are-and-and ask
her to take me away" continued Celia in
a falterins voice, unheeding his Interrupt
ton. II never-want 10 see YOU again
l hate Nou,'
oh, Very well, then yancourt rose
with as much dignity as he could assume.
"4As such is the case, and since ! ann not
allowed to be master of my " house,
We had better separate am.cably. j. Tor
enc. shall be very pleased 10 be freed
from Il naggirg wonsan!!'
And i, from a~--brute,'
'"rhat is a question Of opinion re-
marked Nancroft easily. II have been
asked by Carstairs to go for a cruise. aud
as his yacht leaves Southampton the day
after tomorrow l may as We'll go with him
until / have decided what | will do. OF
course, i shah leave YOU the house-l viii
clear out" He crossed the room to the
door, adding as he opened it, There Will
be enough money paid into Your account
TO satisfy YOUR reSi;!irenents.' Then,
without waiting a reply, he closed the door
behind him. Celia gazing half dfsconso-
lately. half detiantly, at the vacant chair
on the other side of the table.
Nancourt had not been gone long before
he returned. dressed in faultiess style, a
raglan over his arm and u bowler in his
hand.
"Well, III say goodby," he said lightly,
extending his hand 10 his wife. I'VE told
Job 10 pack up my duds and to bring them
to me at the Carlton. j shall be stopping
there till tomorrow morning, when / shall
leave for Southampton"
II see.'
"NSe shall be cruising about the Medi-
terranean for some two months he con-
tinued. eying his wife covertly as he spoke.
After which | may so TO South Africa
for a few months to do some big game
shooting"
You will enjoy yourself, / hope said
Celia, placing her slim hand in his. "Or
course. if we ever met in society we need
not be dead cuts, need we. Leonardo
Her deep blue eyes We're raised almost
wistfully to his.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-11-01

Nothing happened after that tin a
stoutly-upholstored major dropped his
SWord. 1T looked for n minute as if
he would have to dismount and ct it.
and there We're fears OF Il casually. At
this moment the uses of the camp-fol-
lowing outfit became manifest. One OF
the automobiles filled With the beauty
and fashion of Washington. dashed for
ward into the field OF battle. the young
est and prsttiest occupant gave a signal
to the chauffeur; that mechanic jumped
down. picked up the sword, loped for
ward and presented it To the owner,
who received it with a salu1e to his
lalr rescuar and galloped on.
Ambulance Discouraged.
After a ride of fifteen minutes at a
walk, seven and Il half minutes at a
trot and five minutes at II gallop, the
signal was given to stop for a six
minute rest. Here the electric ann
bulance came numbering up. The Off
GERS, all of whom We're fresh as daisies.
greeted it with boots and jeers.
Back to the hospital!" &c after the
young fellows,,' We're some of the
shouts that greeted it. General Du-
Vail led the jeering. and a moment later
started the next squirt. This h:tI Opened
so often that after a while the ainbu
lance got discouraged N quit.
by this time it was being borne in on
ne Spectators llli Witch lEGSILtIl
Roosevelt undertook to give an object
lesson in the bad horsemanship of desk
warriors he i~eckoned without his host.
The latest of the swivel-chair heroes
rode the best. Major John Biddle Por-
ter, mounted on a stsed whicii visibly
sank beneath him. rode like Paul Re
we're. Captain Wallace. with n steed
that sagged in the middle. gllloped as
if he We're glued TO his mount. The
only casualties were among the news
paper men n the automobiles. Every
now and then one of the machines
would give a grunt and bog down. anC
it's owner would climb under it on his
ha1:ds and knees. and before the fnisi
three newspaper men were calling fol
an upholsterer and two had quit.
The ride was conducted Throughout
on the plan of fifteen minutes at /;
walk. seven and n half minute at {
trot, five minu at Il gallon and 81,
minutes rest. 1t lasted exactly twt
hours and q i1ait, finishing on time IL
Fort Myer amid cheers from the MS
aelnbled civilians. The ladies i'm til,
AUTOMOBILE looked a triGe weary. anf
ONE Of the horses were blowing hard
but otherwise Al! MAS well.
Chased Into Hooritsl.
As soon as they ~dismoumted the of!
GERS We're chased into the hospital Il
be tested. This exan,ination may caus
some to be mustered out. A good man.
of them had hoped this ceremony woul,
be postponed till morning. blu the de
partmert was overlooking no bet.
However, everybody connected with th
ride was happy ana FELT that he ha'
scored d few on Theodore Roosevelt.
The oni". person knocked out wa
The spongc-lo!der.' said one prominen
officer. and he refused to say whoi
he meant.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-11-01

novel feature is that it includes the
first year girls in it's operation, as we'll
us the boys.
Before about two hundred upper
see the fun, u band of marauding
"Scphs'' suddenly appeared, with n tail
captive. They pushed through the
crowd straight up TO II group of curious
'co-eds' who had seated themselves on
the chapel steps. A light haired 1T
tie girl on the second step, whose very
obvious interest in the proceedings
marked her rs a "I'reshie," was pointed
out BY the second year men to the VIC
tim.
'fler name is Nellie: never mind an
introduction, but get busy" ne was
briefly ordered.
But il isn't prope to-
Get busy nundered the master Of
ceremonies.
The boy glanced hurriedly about for
Il method of escape, Tend finding none.
Il wave of rosy red swept over his face
Someone assisted him forcibly from be-
hind 1T That moment, n Win q ges-
trre indicative of despair, he threw
Nellie" he cried, although you've
never known IL, ] ilave--I have
Loved" Kissed his delighted captor
ut his elbow.
II have loved you always, Nellie
ever since"-he stopped for want of "a
NtId, DNl several voices quickly sup
piled ii, and he finished. Ever since
you We're Il babe in arms, Nellie
"A little more natural, Plead With
her." someone yelled.
The freshman glanced into the shaded
face before him, and what he saw
there must have given him courage.
fot he seized her by the hand, and burst
out ferNently: Nellie can't you see
how I'm suffering? Don't you love me
Il little bit, DEAR
The girl shook her head slowly.
''PleaSe. Nellie!."
Fiesh and blood could not resist that
beseeching tone. Yes. l-weil. IN be
q sister to you!'' quoth Nellie. and then.
frightened at her own boldness, she
urnea and escaped up the steps. while
a bcwildered freshman looked longingly
after her.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-11-01

'Of course not. he said with y strained
laugh, as pressing her cold hand in his,
he went toward the door. "Addio, little
woman; it is Il pity that we could not on
better. However. il is best that we should
so our several ways; don't YOU think SOP
Yes, it is Goodby.' Her voice faded
away into a whisper. adding quavcringly
to herself as the door closed behind her
husband, He might have kissed me be-
fore he went. l don't think that-he
minded leaving me. and l-1-oh, / don't
CARE She cried angrily. dashing away
the tears which had gathered on her
!asies. ~ te hau trleu 10 KISS me "a
nave siappeu nus ace iof hlih. l nale
Leonard anu no" 'nat l am Tree shall
Nc as happs d. "
The harsh slam OF the nall door below
caused her to stop abruptly. For a mo-
ment Celia stood silent; then, sinking onto
a sofa, she buried her Huify head amid a
Devy OF CUSHIONS ana cfied as II her heart
would break.
lies gone"' she rluttered In a strang!ed
voice, broken by sobs. "And-1-made sure
that he would comeback"
Meanwhile, outside in the street Leonard
V%ancourt hailed u hansom. and, stepping
into it. he was soon bowling in the direc-
ton of the Carlton. II am afraid that l
have made a fool of myself" he solilo-
auized. Il made sure that she would nave
stopped me before l left the house; of
course, its all most uiearthly rot to think
for Il moment that could live without my
little Celia, A day would be bad enough,
but two monfhs-l nave half a mind to
turn back and say that was only bluff
ing. only | should look such an ass If
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-11-01
b to the Ad.

The late William Johnson, of Brook
Ign, the owner of Printers Ink, was
for many years a leading light of the
advertising business. An advertisement
writer said of him the other day:
MIR. johnson had a stock of adver-
Using stories on the tip of his tongue.
He used to tell them to .roung solicitors.
He claimed that they We're useful in
getting business.
One of his favorite stories was
about two little children. They came to
their mother one evening and asked IL
they might play store.
Yes said the mother: but YOU
must remember that the baby is asleep.
Play store If o like. but don't make
d noise. Play quietly
"All right. mother said the older
child. Well pretend we don't adver-
tiSe'"
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-11-01
MAJoR Won

Berlin, Special. The science of aerial
navigation, at least in Germany. has
reached n point where many of the
most prominent Investigators are ask
ing themselves in which direction they
shall pursue their experiments. The
problem of steering is satisfactorily
solved. but there remains the import
ant question of the conquest of the CON
trary currents OF the air. and this
raises the issue between the advocates
of Fighter than the air" and "heavier
than the air"
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-11-01
Sea Meter as Medicine.
Swallow that sea water!." cried the phi

Swallow that sea waler!.' cried the ply
stefan. Swallow IT."
The young lady obeGienty gulped it
down, but its bitter taste threw her pretty
face into hideous contortions. lie was
teaching her to float, and as she lay on
her back She looked up ut him and said:
why did You tell me to swallow that
water?'
because it's good for you.'' was the
reply. Sea- water is one of tlie best medi-
e:nes in the world. Il is good for dyspep-
sia. 1t is good for indigestion. and it is es-
pec!ally good Tor insomnia.
"Mhen YOU see queer old ladies' carry
ing nome from the beach pals and bottles
of sea water, laGgh at them 10 more than
YOU would Laugh at he s;therers of bella
donna. of %qat4inc. OK OF any other helpful
medici.c.'
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-11-01

"She was very fond of you, Len Celia
Vancourtis eyes We're bent reproachfully
on his.
"Ahem! mat was very kind of her. dear.
You see. Celia, l had shekels; in London
society 1 was considered rather Il decent
match at the time l married YOU" HIS
accent was irTitatingly sardonic.
20 YOU mean to insinuate that Aunt
Clarissa liked you because YOU were well
Oft and had a house in Park Lane?' de-
manded Celia, her face flushed an angry
pink.
Aunt Amelia did, anyway, smiled Van
court unfell.ngly. M spare cash made
her Southwark property boom in a man
ner which brought a smile to her face!
She had me on toast, Celia"
She raped her knife impatiently on the
immaculate danlesk. ~'I.eonard," she re-
marked with dignity, ~ would nave you
remember that you are speaking of my
relations"
II have no desire to rob you of their
ownership, dear" remarked Nancourt:
then added, as he commenced his break
fast in real earnest, II wish to goodness
that you would manage to see that we
get bacon for breakfast that is not salty
enough to skin the inside OF ones mouth.
l don't believe that the tradesmen would
dare to sell such abominable meat to any
body else but u.s."
SClld = ltLS JIG" kS6I IL OVhlllS LS SllO
poured herself out a cup of tea: then.
CHANGING across the table at the sombrely
annoyed features of her husband, said ir-
ritably:
II never met such a growing man as
you are in my life! The moment anything
puts you out you quarrel wiz your food.
Goodness knows, l am fanciful enough,
but / don't find this bacon a bit salty
''Of course not! 1t is quite sufficient for
me to say that it is for YOU to declare the
met such a contradictory woman as you
are in the whole course Of my existence. l
am just about sick of it,
And am tired to death of You and
your ~grunbling," retorted Celia. flushing
wrong. i can't make out what on earth
made you marry sne!"
Because 1 was q victim to the throes of
dwelling lunacy, that's why" said Van
court savagely. y wish now that l had
never set eyes on you. Why. ever since
my marriage I have never known what it
fs to have a decent breakfast! If 1 don't
get a high egg. I get salt bacon which a
> sailor would kick at. and If ] get neither
of these two things I have a piece of fish
which would disgrace an East End cook
shop put In front Of mel"
He sniffe1 Indignantly, as. turning in
his chair, he picked up his discarded paper
and, flattening it out angrily. commenced
La read its contents.
Very well. Leonard" said Celia, dig
nifty struggling with tears for mastery in
her voice. Since you are as sorry 70 have
ever net me as ] am " have ever come
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-11-01
EvidentlY.

Great was the excitement of the two
charming young women who mingled with
the crowd AT the England VS.. Scotland
Rugby football match.
ITS u splendid game. Ethel, isn't it?"
said one. I'm so glad we came here, in
stead of going TO n matinee as usual" and
Ethel readily agreed.
Just then the ball went to one of the
English halfbacks and he made a splendid
run down the field. The crowd went quite
delir!ouS with enthusiasm until it became
apparent that the bali had not been in
play.
What did he have to bring the ball
back for?" asked Ethel innocentlY of her
companions.
why. don you know, you little goose?''
answered the other damsel pityingly. 'Of
course, its because he got an encore. ~
Answers.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-11-01

Balloons inflated With gas are gem
orally regarded here as having nearly,
if not quite, ttained the final stage
of their possibilities, which, as is on
tended, although marvellous in compare
son With the position of only five years
ago, still leave much to be achieved
before the air can be said to be mas
tered.
All three systems. the rigid. the semi
rigid and the flexible, represented re-
spectively by the steerable balloons of
Count Zeppelin, the German army
%aeronauts and Major o Parseval.
have been and are still being tested.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-11-01
lAAJOR Won BARsEWAI5 AIPaHI

All have given evidence of the fa
tina in light winds and otherwise ia
vorable weather they may be steered
n unanswered with great facility.
In the Parseval balloon, which has
shown such wonderful powers of navi-
CATION. in the envelope containing, the
gas are liked two balloons, n in front.
the other in the rear, which, when one
or the other is pumped full of air by
the motor. change the equilibrium and
permit the balloon to ascend or de-
scend in oblique direction. The en-
velope contains $500 cubic metres of
gaS.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-11-01
LOVE- aKISG BY R
A new FORM OF HAZlkG

Columbia. Special: Several jocrl-
ar members of the sophomore class of
the University of Missouri invented a
new method OF hazing the other even
ing, which, from point of view OF the
hazed, is not altogether unpleasant. Its
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-11-01
TO AN OLD INDIAN CANOE.
hat ancient hirchcs died that Won minl

800 ne -
O little canoe? Whose daft brown fingers
Your supple beauty? What old cunning
taught
Your fragile body all its sub;lety?
What stoY!cd rivers whispered past YOU,
AS forth meath tawny suns or solemn
You crept to dusky trysts or stealth,
ympelled by eager hands gray ashes now?
What rose-hung w!a.ths of long-forgu;ttn
Still follow you? What glamour OF old
OF love and empire fragrant 'round YOU
Nv young braves dreamed adr:ft on star
shot streams?
O mystic bark that .hroned the forest,
OF joys Of serce free years your silence
-E,izabsth Kelly in Ecs.on Transcript.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-11-01

1t was Sunday afternoon, and the in
FAINT class teacher was trying 10 impress.
the children with the beauties Of the Gar
den of Eden.
But, Children she said, there was
one thing in the garden that Adam and
Eve might not touch.'
81 know" sad q little boy, who had
evidently had some previous knowledge Of
beautiful gardens. lit was poison ivy"
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-11-01
Alias Was His Real Name.

ItIOFl I.aW -NUttS.
In the South Orange, y. j.. police
court recently q prisoner on being asked
his name responded. Alias S!laheen."
ALIASES don't 80 in This court said
Justice Roll. With some asperitS.
''NNh#t's Your real name
alias Shaheen,' reiterated the ac-
cused.
OF course no police justice would ever
submit tamely to such foolishness as
that, and the offender was standing
face to face With trouble when q police
officer explained that he was a Syrian
and told the literal truth about his
name. Much Modified. Justice Roll ex-
tracted 50 from Alias for peddling tow
els without q license and allowed him
TO go on his way rejoicing.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-11-01

He-Newpop's funeral takes place to
morrow.
s~..e-Funeral?
He-Yes; he was SO used to rocking The
cradle that he rocked the boat,
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-11-01
From Harpers Weekly.

From llarper's Weekly.
He asked for her hand III marriage"
We'll. WI didn't she give him the
one that is always in her fathers
pocket
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-11-01
a Sure Sion.

A 7-year-old had a great appetite ror
buckwheat cakes, and could stow away
an amazing number of them for break
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-11-01
Experience.

II just keep on eating until I get a pain.
and then l eat one more to make sure"
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-11-01

From the New York Sun.
He-A woman cant kelp a secret.
he-Sk never tells the name of her
pet dressmaker.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-11-01

One morning his grandfather. who was
watching the performance, asked:
'HaNe you ever in your life had all the
buckwheat cakes that you could eat?"
Yes, SIR" replied the boy. Lots of
times I've felt I'd had enough"
"How do you tell when YOU nave a
enough?"
~ lust keen on eating until I get q main
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-11-01

"She was Very fond of You. Len Celia
Vancourtis eyes We're bent reproachfully