davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24
Women.

VIII you give me a kiss?"
Women" said she, by way OF reply,
ARE more enlightened now than in years
gone by. We know about the germ
theory. and know kissing 10 be danger
GUS"
Then you won't give me a kiss2'
/ did not say that Women are still
brave, my good sir"
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24
The Voice of New York.

From the Philadelphia Press.
Just as soon as New York decides
whether II would prefer Hughes to Roose-
welt. or vice versa, as the next Presi-
dent, il will proceed TO instruct the rest
of the country how TO vote.
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24

Doc said the man who was fishing
for free advice. my dyspepsia always
hits me about 10 a. m. What ought I 10
eat mornings2"
breakfast answered the callous ply
stefan.
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24

If there is any truth in the saying that
"a good laugh is the best tonic" those
Panama Canal bonds and government
certificates should add several years more
to Mr.. Grover Cleveland's lifetime
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24
WHY the Line Is Busy.

That telephone girl is no good" solilo-
Quized the lady who was reclining on the
sofa. as she hung up the receiver at her
elbow. she says the lines busy. but I
know better / want 10 ask her If ii
looks like rain, but I s'pose III have TO
so 10 the window and see for myself"
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24
His Strung Print

From the Milwaukee sentinel
Hughes boomers complain that he
gives them no encouragement, but Just
goes on being governor. Why, that's one
Of his strong points.
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24
Christmas Novelty.

From the Kansas City Star.
Christmas is only five weeks away
Why not buy nice new Panama Canal
bond for herr
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24
OF Course.

Nom TIE tOmmOneT.
Now that Cleveland reelected Tom
Johnson it is a cinch that the Cleveland
election was merely a local matter.
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24
A Tough Selection.

If young man writes to his girl every
day he's considered a saphead: and II he
doesn't write every day he's a brutal
brute Take your choice, young man.
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24

The State Of Alabama recently adopted
a constitutional provision limiting the
regular sessions Of the legislature TO one
every four years As il appears all but
impossible for the up-to-the-minute states
man down that way TO retain all OF his
wild-eyed notions that long. they are
having to resort 20 extra sessions.
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24

Circus managers report a scarcity Of
clowns. says the Indianapolis Sun. Oh.
there are as many clowns as ever. only
a number of them are busy just now
playing peanut politics and GUESSING the
railroads
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24
MEN AND THINGS.
The Knighted Actor.

The birthday honors IN England always
create much interest. for then lot q
men get political plums and a few others
receive recognition for their. life work
The stage has figured but seldom in this
list. Henry Irving being the first TO be
gazetted knight. but since then few
other actors have been hoaured. among
them Charles Wyndham. But at the
Kings last birthday party John Hare.
the veteran English comedian, was made
a knight and henceforth he will be Sir
John. He is one Of the most popular
actors on the English stage. and one OF
It's best funmakers. He was horn in 1874.
ana has spent most of his life on the
boards. He is now best known for his
old men," and perhaps his most famous
representation was the title role OF THE
Cay Lord QueX." Mr.. Hare acted in this
country about ten years ago, and had
great following here then
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24
Comfortably Resigned

From the Dallas News.
Give the average woman a good home
and good cook, and she can put up with
almost any kind Of a husband
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24

I'm mad clean through"
What's wrong now?"
Took my boy out 10 teach him how 10
shoot rabbits, and he killed four to my
one"
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24

Mr.. Charles J. Bonaparte shows a most
surprising lack Of originality when he
attempts 70 tell the editors how to run
their newspapers. Everybody takes a
throw at that. somewhere along the line
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24

The Detroit Free Iress had a good deal
to say in recent issue about 'kaleido-
scopic nincompOopery." Looks as II II
might be a good idea for the spelIbinders
TO make a note OF that phrase for use in
next years talkfest
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24

Mr. Bryan says it is foolish to hoard
money" The average citizen is quite
prepared 10 go even further and say that
II is impossible.
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24

The turkey is well provided with
friends says the New York Telegraph
Nevertheless. the turkey certainly does
get 1t in the neck about this time every
year.
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24

Il know which side Of my bread is but
tered said the positive passenger.
Possibly, possibly" responded his seat
mate but in these days Of oleomargarlne
you must admit that the problem grows
complex"
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24

The Presidents conference OF leading
governors OF States Will not take place
uhtl after Gov. Nardaman becomes an
ex: but that isn't the main reason
he was not invited.
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24
The HnrNrxfer

The youth who sows wild oats It's true.
Must reap as he hath sown:
But then his father ought % do
Some thrashing Of his own.
Catholic Standard
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24
PurdonnbIe.

1t is a sin 10 steal a pin,
But tits no crime
When one Is broke to use a Joke
Another time.
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24

And now gross irregularities and frauds
are reported in the Philippine elections:
and still there are people who insist that
the Filipinos are not fitted for self-gov-
eminent
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24

A wasp's nest five feet in diameter has
been sent from Venezuela for exhibition
IN New York. Doubtless this is the thing
they used 10 keep Castro in before he was
tanned
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24

Perhaps one thing that helped 10 cure
the South of that thirsty feeling was the
concoction Of turpentine tabasco sauce.
Ponds extract. and prune juice inds-
criminately dumped upon ii as the real
thing by a number Of disrepUtable dealers.
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24

Is there, for that matter, any warrant
In law for putting a war bonnet on an
Irish-Indian lady?
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24

Mr. Rockefeller denies that he owns
any government bonds. Now. you know
how it is to feel like a Rockefeller. don't
you?
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24
An Easy Choice,

From the New York Mail
Well, which would you rather have. a
mottoless coin or a coinless motto?
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24
He'd Hotter.

From the Boston Transcript
Mr.. Justice Brewer can now play an
extensive game of hide.
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24

one Of the delightful things about talk
Ing OF the Fish-Harriman row Is that no.
body is apt 20 know you don't know what
you are talking about anyhow.
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24

Now that Secretary Taft has been re-
ported az Tomsk Vladlvostok. Szchien-
sHisov. and Iltssitcsvosd. the linotype
vote IS also hopeless alIenated
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24

Mr.. Bourke Cochran is a most unan-
moving politician. al all events: If he
isn't what you think he is. he VIII be
soon.
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24

Harry Thaw has been dropped from
Pittsburg's blue book" and yet there is
hardly any doubt that he is as blue"
these days as any Pittsburgh ever was
in this world
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24
Beneath Her Dignity.

Yes" said the society girl haughtily.
''she got a duke all right"
why didn't you, get one?"
"Oh. I never attended a remnant sale
in my life"
The Duke speaks OF Mr. Shonts as
easy" Not very respectful, and prob
ably an error. Mr.. Shonts is believed
to be uneasy.
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24

II the Panama canal never floats any,
thing but bonds. It viii not have been
undertaken in vain. PERTAINS.
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24

The President says that Abraham Lin
coin detested a ''whisperer." Doubles
this is true; there is no evidence. how
ever that he excessively admired a steam
calliope.
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24

Fresh eggs sell for 70 cents per dozen
In New Jersey-that is, that's the price
OF them.
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24

Mr. Weston's walking exhibition may
reasonably be expected 20 lead 10 the
lecture platform before ne has quite
finished
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24

Possum time forever SAYS the Bal
tlmore Sun No; unfortunately. Il is lin
tied.
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24
FACTS AND FANCIES.


From the Philadelphia Public Ledger.
Disturbed.
was there any disturbance at Vladl-
vostok while you were there?"
only In my mind" replied the genial
Secretary of War Il got a cab!egram
from Ohio at VladivcsJok.''
Just as a New York man was pleading
poverty as an excuse for not paying ali
money announcement was made in court
that he had fallen heir 20 S200000 Doubt
less he thought that hard luck
Jocular.
If you refuse me-" said the young
man. Il shall blow out my brains"
I'D hate TO have you do that" replied
the Cir, thoughtfully. "and Yet II would
be good joke on pa. He says you
haven't any you know"
Attorney General Bonaparte has been
telling editors how to conduct their bust
ness However. they had told him how
10 conduct his first
Indifference.
THE worm viii turn"
That makes me hot,
For who cares If
IL turn or not.
Treasury Waterman thought he saw
a hard-looking customer lurking near the
vaults. and shot his own reflection IN q
mirror. But perhaps he can't read char
acter by the face.
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24

Mobile is perfectly disguised with Itself
for not having been born and reared in
some other State
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24

''The views Of ex-G0v. Douglas. Of
Massachusetts. on the financial situation
and stringency in the money market. are
worth taking 70 heart" said William c.
Richardson. Boston manufacturer. at
the Arlington. last night In some
cities Mr. Douglas said. people are
drawing their money from the banks
and boarding it, They may not realize
the effect Of that policy When the people
draw their money from banks, they sim
ply keep the trouble going. helping to
reduce the number who have employ
ment. The more money drawn from the
banks, the more people out OF work
There is no necessity for drawing out
the money
Gov Douglas said he believed firmly
that the S300.000.6J0 which the Federal
government and private sources were ar
ranging 10 inject into the monetary chan
nels OF the country viii remove all
stringency. He said he believed firmly
that IN two months there would be more
money than the people and the business
men know what 10 do with. He believes
the rates Of interest viii drop from
and 10 per cent. 70 and per cent. and.
perhaps even TO B. The people should
leave their money in the banks II Is Der
fectly safe there. far safer than in their
own homes. is the final advice Of ex-
Gov Douglas. and he knows what he IS
talking about. being a successful bust
ness man
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24
Motors in Turkey.

The Revue Commercial du Levant, re-
ferring 70 the announcement that motor
cars. which M on the present have been
debarred from entering Turkey. are now
authorized 20 do so with certain restric-
tons, point out that though good roads
IN the country are nonexistent, the in
habitants, who delight in novelties. will
probably purchase cars which will have
10 De made solid on account OF the In
equaliues OF the road surface II appears
that there are a few provinces which are
more fortunate IN their roads where
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24

Indifference.

The worm viii turn"
That makes me hot,
For who cares If
II turn or not.
The Washington herald., 1907-11-24

New York Representative. SMITH WILBEKDING
SPECIAL AGENCY. Tribune Building
chicago Representative. CHARLES A. BAR
NAltD. Boyce Building
Alaska sentinel., 1907-10-31

Do you remember the story of the sot who was picked up in the street taken to the dukes house, put into the dukes bed, and found himself, when he awoke. surrounded by lowing and obseQuious throng? He stared at them
 He could not understand. There were silken clothes lying on the chair. His morning meal was being handed him on a gold tray. He fell back in bed, and exclaimed, "Oh I am dreaming. This is not me! It cannot possibly be me. It must be somebody else." Why did he think this? It was not altogether because he knew he was not duke.
 The real reason for his astonishment lay deeper than that He thought so little of himself that he knew nobody else could think very much of him. At heart, the poor sot had no self-respect People never think any more of you than you think of yourself. This does not mean that you are to pretend, or that you are to be proud, and go along thinking only of what superior per son you are But 1t does mean that people will never take off their hats to you unless you hold up your head. Don't apologize for what you are. One of the saddest spectacles In the world is that of a man who Is too humble to demand respect, or too apologetic to command attention, or too much of a moral weakling to assert his rights. The world will never search you out, and drag you into the limelight, and say, Here he is. We have been want ing to find him, so that we could show him respect, and reward him, and give hin, oil tho d0Fa.,~---'-
 serves" :" No; the world will let you stay In your obscure corner, and will give its honor and rewards to the man with half your ability and twice your self-respect. Say, "I know what l am. I know what I can do. l know how good my work is. I know, too, that l am struggling daily to make myself a more complete man. to increase my field of effort. and to do better work. l Will uol De pulIeu up WILL ldise Piiue but I will not be obscured by mock modesty. I am not the best man in the world, nor yet the most able man, or the most skilled workman ;~but am what I am, and no one shall dare to take from me one smallest portion of my self-respect, or fail to give me the fullest measure of the recognition that is mine."
Alaska sentinel., 1907-10-31
New Treatment of Typhoid.

People who used to suffer torments of thirst in typhoid fever will wish they had postponed the attack until the present day, when such theories of treatment as the following from the Medical Brief prevail:
 If I were asked to name the cardi- nal features In the management of ty- phoid fever, I would say proper feeding. the prevention of excessive waste incl dent to high temperature, by the use of water externally and internally, and elimination, through the skin, kidneys and. intestinal tract, by supplying the pateint with an abundance of water and keeping the body clean and com- fortable.
 'I make 1t an inyariable rule to in- sist that the patient drink frequently and freely of water, thereby aiding elimination through the intervention of the skin and kidneys, keeping the gen eral tone of the patient at the highest standard, and the temperature Is held more readily in check. In fact, I re- gard the internal use of an abundance of water of so much importance that I always instruct the nurse to record the quantity of water given, just as-assidu- ously as she does the medicine and food"
Alaska sentinel., 1907-10-31

stems in a large glass. or, even better jar of cold water; then submerge the jar in a bucket of cold water, allowing the entire bunch to be almost covered. Put all in dark place. cover with a newspaper to exclude the air let them remain thus overnight; in the morning they will be as fresh as new, even to the glistening "dew drops"
 Roses and carnations respond better than other flowers treated in this man. ner. but so far 1 have not found any way to freshen violets satisfactorily.
 It might not be amiss to add that wilted green vegetables such as spin ach. lettuce and celery, are to be fresh ened by the same means and may be kept for days, changing the water every morning. of course. However. we all know that the fresher all vegetables the better they are.
Alaska sentinel., 1907-10-31
The Woman Worker.

Women, instead of saying, "A man can do It, so why not 2" should choose rather some work that he should not be doing, and by her excellence wrest such employment from ill-suited hands-for we have to face the shame that the making of gowns, the trimming of dainty hats and other pre-eminently feminine work is too frequently per formed by members of the other sex, and this while their sisters become gardeners, motor-drivers, and what not.
 That woman is conscientious worker Is everywhere admitted, but her great fault is that she rarely aims at, and consequently seldom reaches, per lection.
 Generally, she has in the background the thought that her work Is but tenn porary, since she will presently marry or else she falls into the fatal error of supposing that being a woman allow ances" will be made for her shortcom- ings. They will not. Her work, like his, must stand or fall on its own mer- ita
Alaska sentinel., 1907-10-31

When young woman's heart Is broken by fickle suitor she Is consid- cred justified In claiming damages In a good round sum for the breakage. With superior masculine business instinct a young man in New York has started a precedent by handing In an itemized bill of the expenses of courtship when the fair one proved false. The male heart may be tougher in its breakage than that of the more susceptible sex, but the money plaster is quite as effi- cacious in the one case as in the other and 1t does seem that 1t Is hardly fair to leave the unlucky swain with an empty purse as well as with denuded heart.
Alaska sentinel., 1907-10-31

By vote of its board of directors, an important English corporation has late ly made fine moral distinction which shows in most pleasing fashion the up- ward tendency in business life and sets an example to other corporations.
 The action of the board had to do with the disclosing of board room secrets and with the use of what is commonly called inside information" for the financial benefit of directors. It was voted, after some discussion, that no member of the board shall buy or sell any stock or shares of the company without previously announcing his in- tention to the directors, or shall have any Indirect holding of the stock or shares without disclosing the fact to the board" It was also declared that no director having special knowledge of the company's trading results should buy or sell shares until such knowledge
Alaska sentinel., 1907-10-31

able braced with some pillows. the H. tie feet left full to kick, than when ne is being held tight in arms. He does not quickly become tired in this way and when fatigue does come 1t is muscular, healthy one and not that of the nerves, caused somewhat by the nervous condition of the one who has been holding him.
 All conversation before baby, even when playing with him, should be quiet, and there should be no noises, for small children are very susceptible to loud sounds. and the start of some at the sudden banging of door or an unexpected noise is pathetic, because of the nervous condition it indicates, says Mrs. Hood, in the New York Evening Telegram. When a baby shows by this that 1t is of nervous disposition the mother should make every effort to keep 1t quiet, and by that l mean to keep excitement from it. The effort should be to soothe, that the infant may not develop a highly-strung child
Alaska sentinel., 1907-10-31
In Beinr Photographed.

"rhere is a, tremendous amount Of ignorance on the subject of colors. Very frequently woman wears gown of a certain color, yellow, for instance, expecting 1t to take light when 1t takes dark, and is consequently disappointed In the result" says a photographer in the New York Sun. White Is always effective and takes beautifully, espe- cially for dark background effects. But light blue, pink or cream are preferable even to white, for the reason that while they take light there is more detail and more character in the picture.
 If possible. soft. clinging effects are to be preferred to any material that presents stiff appearance, and starchy effects should be tabooed entirely. Nowadays nearly every photograph CT has on hand lengths of soft, clinglng material for drapery purposes when bis subjects present themselves with some absolutely impossible frocks and when he can effect the substitution without hurting their feelings"
Alaska sentinel., 1907-10-31
What They Each Require.

Girls of Indiana formed a society called the Young Ladies Protective As soclation, in which they declare for men who have bank accounts of S2,00C at least and life insurance to that amount. The men have since organized the Mems Precaution Club. in which they want to know what they are to get for their S2,000 in the way of good housekeepers. A wife requiring this amount must not object to smoking any place in the house. must be a good cook and must not care for cats.
Alaska sentinel., 1907-10-31

Natural-colored suede gloves are the rage in Paris and have quite supersed- ed black and white for all occasions.
 A new notion is the brightening of the dark tailored coat with collar and cuffs of gay Scotch plaid. These sets are to be had ready-made, prettily shaped and finished.
 The new plaids and stripes allow of much originality in the making up. Very curious and beautiful effects are gained by tucking to eliminate or bring out the pattern of the material.
 For everyday wear there is ten dency to return to the little English walking hat of soft felt, simply trim med with folds Of ribbon around the long, narrow crown, and stiff wings or a rosette on one side holding up the rim.
 Very charming things are done with black ribbon velvet in the way of sus- bender or peasant straps, or harness es," as they are popularly called. Jet or enameled buttons are effectively used on these, as are also rhinestone buckles.
 Many of the light fabrics for eyen- ing, such as voile, crepe and grenadine in pale yellows, pinks and white, have either satin crepe or narrow satin check over them. Such gowns need very little trimming except perhaps some good lace.
 Both pique and duck are to consti- ute the smart little coat and skirt suits, suitable for informal occasions and braiding in fine soutache Is the newest ornamentation. An occasional inserting of a heavy lace, such as Irish crochet and crochet lace buttons, con- tributes toward the general effect.
Alaska sentinel., 1907-10-31
Woman To-day.

Women have more self-control than their great -grandmOthers had. 1 fancy I hear some champion declare apropos of my statement that they cry less over novels and at the theaters than they used to do. Well, perhaps that is so. tS6s PsF9aRs Rsss with w5thrmm2R m2fs stfGb 1t may be so much easier to the present genera ton to stay the ready tear, because the tear is not so ready as 1t used to be, and therefore much more easy to stay. But all the same, the lack of sentiment evinced by the daughters of this gen eration is not a pleasant sign of the times
Alaska sentinel., 1907-10-31

Great Britain's colonial conference is likely, whether it accomplishes any i'm mediate political results or not to edu- cate the people of England to a sense of the size, value, importance and op- portunitles of the girdle of self-govern- ing colonies which belt the world. The conference has given the English news papers new theme to discuss, and they have discussed it so extensively that not even the casual English reader, who is usually as ignorant of the Brit ish colonies as he Is of America, can help absorbing some information about the great English-speaking domains across the sea. This is a kind of ad- vertising which pays.