The Glenwood post., 1907-07-06
JlNcLES. AND ,JESIS
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No .JEs1s 81; s.:
pose Of placing themselves in position
where It viii be 'unnecessary to look
for job will have to hunt up another
splice works. rr. tsa ,i Fs .
An Englishwoman declares that
American girls don't know anything
about horses. They know that when
their best fellows take them for ride
they always select an animal that can
be safely driven with the lines in one
hand or in the teeth, and that is some
thing, dear madame. t.
A Brooklyn baby boy has been
named Fitzpercy, and not a protesting
whimper from the Humane society.
-
A Princeton professor reports the
discovery of a comet with its tail cut
off near the root. Perhaps the dread
heavenly missile that was advertised to
bump into the earth last month and has
been docked for being late. VS. W.
fIt . ea'nr --0--H-
1t is denied that the president said
"cut it out' when those Georgia ora
tors rose to do little spellbinding. 1t
is probable that he simply said, SO,
cheese it!" and the sensation loving
reporters substituted that awful slang
ism for his real utterance.
d
The Salvadorean rebels have been
defeated. One of them was wounded
and captured, but by strategically
separating into three battalions and
taking to the tall timber the other
three succeeded in eluding their pur-
suers.
The masses at limburger cheese
May scoff and scott and scoff,
But what's the use? 1t yet will cling
To the smell that won't come of.
D.
A Chicago bishop has asked his flock
to offer prayers for summer weather.
Preachers, as a rule, advise their fol
lowers to use every endeavor to avoid
a heated temperature.
o
A st. Louis boy, who climbed pole
to see ball game was killed by live
wire. Sad, very sad And the saddest
feature of it was that the score stood
. to at the beginning of the ninth in
ming and he was not permitted to wit
ness the result.
Fighting Bob" Evans has been
badly defeated in a mimic naval battle.
In sure enough vocal battle, however,
the old sea fighter can hold his own
against all corners.
The Missouri editor who declares
that a man swears to keep from crying
and woman cries to keep from swear
ing perhaps gained this knowledge
from personal domestic experience be-
meath his own home vine and fig tree.
Carrie Nation says she may be sent
to jail, but she will never go to hell.
Satan may experience a sense Of relief
when this news reaches him.
7 ''' %
|. An eminent physician says we will
all stop taking medicine after time.
Sure. When it has done its work and
we are boxed for shipment to that un-
discovered country. 'A' T7'
Can it be said that the ashes of the
crcmated enjoy well-urned rest!
"- o. r'I
A scientist is perfecting machine
that will do away with the desire to
sleep. This may lead the funny para
graphers Of the land to think there
may yet be hope for Philadelphians.
F1' d. t~'irr' 'F
The new "Pocahontas punch" being
served at Jamestown no doubt has a
big stick in it. A war-club, as it were.
"Pete,' the famed presidential bull
dog, has been banished from the White
Hbusef and sent into the country, and
the Washington ours must now seek
for some other form of amusement.
't't ell 'TH''- ----O-- 90 t7' s
Topeka, Kansas, can never pose as
health resort. The druggists of that
city report 2l,3Qo sales Of liquor in one
month, and all for medical purposes of
doctors prescriptions. A 1'
7 Niiht. 'T A" 4 n ~
Mr.. Bryan's Commoner says Henry
Wattepon's "dark horse" is chest