davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09
.EaTHAWREK JOTS

Oswego recently paid off the last of
its indebtedness and now doesn't owe a
dollar.
The Menlo Record has quit. There
wasn't enough in the town to record.
Over in Stafford last week a man got
a snake in a mouse trap. I'm Larned."
says the ChronOscope, men get them
in per cent JOINTS
street car and a melon wagon col
lided at Hutchinson and several melons
were killed. In the language of the
country correspondent, "a good time
was had" by the loafers.
The Larned Chronoscope has been en-
larged to a six column quarto. Since
bought it last January they have made
a great Improvement in the paper.
The Herirgton Sun has started in to
elect George Tucker to congress in the
Fourth district. While the Suns zeal
may be commendabIe, it would prob
ably accomplish more if it lived in the
Fourth district itself.
Naughty wind item in the Norton Tel
esram: Last evening when about three
fourths of all the pretty girls of Nor
ton were out on parade about o'clock
p. M, heavy wind storm arose and
sent them all home again. The win
did not do any other damage, however.
Cimarron Jacksonian: Some of the
Kansas papers seem to be si1eptical
about the senior Jacksonian editor haV
ing enough rain water weekly to do the
washing, so we will give another proof
of the abundant rainfall. Last week J.
F. Roberts, living IA miles southwest of
Cimarron, found Is dead jackrabbits
while walking one mile. They had been
drowned right out on the level prairie,
not being able to get away from the
copious rainfall. And jackrabbits can
run pretty fast, too. This is no fish
story.
Wild and woOlly experience related by
the Arkansas City Traveller: w. W.
Spencer, of Geuda Springs, had rath-
er exciting experience in this city last
evening and narrowly escaped serious
injury. He came to Arkansas City on
the Santa Fe afternoon train and took
the street car to ride over to the
Frisco to catch the train for Geuda
Springs. AS he left the street car,
along came a man driving a couple of
cows tied together with a rope. Spen-
Ger had both hands full of grips and
attempted to pass in front of the cows
They resented his seeming impoliteness
and started after him. He tried to es-
cape by running but the pace was too
fast. One by one he discarded the
grips, but he could not tighten himself
sufficiently to get away. After the race
had proceeded come distance the cows
won and as an evidence of their vic
tory they slammed him up against
buggy in no gentle manner. He was
badly bruised in the encounter, but al
ter being picked up and carried to the
station platform where he was washed
up, he was able to proceed to his nome
aft Gellda Springs.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09
QUAKER REFLECTIONS

IF,rom the Philadelphia Record.]
A shady transaction-buying awnings
1t doesn't cost anything to pay com
pliments.
When money talks the world sits up
to listen.
Even at a comedy the audience may
SIT in tiers.
When you sit on some fellows they act
like a bent pin.
In politics 1t is seldom the big gun
who shoots off his mouth.
The wise owl should not only know
what's what, but who's who.
When a woman has no one near to tell
secret she can tell phone.
The rich bakers daughter is always
afraid some fellow will marry her for
her dough.
Some men are such careless liars that
they can't even drop hint without
breaking their word
Billy Backaliey-'I tell youse dat John
ID. Rockefeller is a bold" Tommy Turf
nut-''Yes. he's de only bold dat ketches
de woim."
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09
n UNOR OF THE DAY

Dunne-Yes; but I have since had rea-
son to believe that her father brought the
ladder used and placed it just where
couldn't help seeing it.
Mrs. Bloodgood-I thought her quotation
was apropos, didn't you?
Mrs. Newri tch-Dear mel always sup
posed his name was Edgar Allan.-Har-
per'S Bazaar.
Mr. Hardup(entering the nursery)-why,
what are all you children hiding for?
Small Boy-Please, papa, Tommy's the
bill collector, and he's called with an ac-
You can't paint the lily" declared the
Maybe not" responded the aster.
Noticed what?"
THE lily pads.''-Pittsburg Post.
You don't seem to mind it here" re-
marked Satan.
mo" replied the new arrival, this is
rather a pleasant relief. made my sud
den exit from the world while trying to
umpire ball game. "-Philadelphia Press.
Would you marry again, George, If I
were to die?"
you brute! You want the world to
believe that I'm such a bad wife you
would not want another.'-Houston Post.
Father. said little Rollo. what is a
great MANI"
"A great man, my son, Is one WHO man
ages to gather about him a corps Of as
sistants who will take the blame for his
mistakes, while he gets the credit for any
good ideas. "-Washingt Star.
"Copy!" bawled the foreman of the ru
raj print shop. THE boys are waiting
sir"
The country editor sighed. Then. reach
ing for the nearest exchange, he clipped
an obituary, two want ads and half the
society column. FASTING them on blank
sheet of paper, he labeled the whole
From Our East Window, and resumed
his reading.-Puck.
Noah came out of the animal quarters.
"Clear the deck from bow to stern, he
beloved.
whats going on. dad?" grumbled Ham
as he reached for his fishing pole and bait
can.
'Oh, nothing much; only the dachshund
is coming out to stretch himself. "-Chica-
~ News
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09
FRON OTHER PENS
COAL 81 A TON-ROBBERY.

When you purchase coal for heating
purposes or for your ange you will pay
81 ton for it and Is cents extra if the
coal has to be carried from the wagon.
Seven dollars and twenty-five cents for
a ton of coal placed in your bins. That
is pure, unauthorized robbery. Here
we are, here in Philadelphia, almost on
the border of the anthracite coal region.
Start a train of cars at the mines and
it will run down hill of it's own volition.
freight rates, one of the items which
make for eXtortion. Wall street may
fume and fret, but when the people see
their coal bills increasing and know
that there is no reason for it except the
reason of greed they get the impress
sion somehow that President Roose-
Welt is on the right track when he
seeks to control great corporations in
the interests of the Dublic.-Philadel-
phia Inquirer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09
GLOBE SIGHTS.

Every man thinks he's a devilish
good critic.
Some men would rather take a
whipping than take a dare
If you are batting better than 300
per cent a lot of envious people hate
you.
No one appreciates the freedom
with which people talk behind his
| back
People are never so greedy and I'M
fair as when they are after kin mon
ey. And a kin dollar is only worth
from nothing to ten cents.
What you call hard work: do other
people call it hard work? The story
that you are hard worker: did you
start it. or was it started by other
people?
When father objects to his daugh-
as effective as If he were bound arms
and legs and hands, and had cotton
stuffed in his mouth.
An Atchison county farmers wife
you often mention the difficulty OF
raising turkeys. I find boys and men
much harder to manage than tur-
keys"
When a woman is left a little mon
ey there is always some alarm lest her
husband will get it from her, but let
a man ge- any money, and it is the
hope of everyone that his wife will get
it.
This might be said to the credit of
the men if any one dared to defend
them: When they Do pray they dom
in the manner in which women COM
plain to the Lord of the men.
This is the day when Geo. Grice, of
the peanut stand, believes in human
nature, his peanuts are uncovered
and everyone who passes is at liberty
to take q handful. BY tomorrow he
will distrust human nature again and
put all his peanuts in sacks; no sam
pies tomorrow to tempt people to buy
When a girl from the country comes
to town in the morning, wearing a
white silk dress, white hat and an
anxious expression, and stands around
the dry goods stores, accompanied by
a misunderstanding young man in
new clothes, she really should not be-
come angry If a newspaper reporter
scents a wedding and inquiries about
1t. But she does.
OF course a woman sent this in
The gossips are jumping Mrs. x for
the manner in which she is squander-
Ing her insurance money know
something about Mrs. x and her cir
cumstances and wish to defend her
As girl, she had an old-fashioned
father who believed that girls after
passing the Sixth grade at school
should be kept It home to assist their
mothers in the kitchen. Up to the
day she was married her mother de-
cided upon every article of clothing
she should have and her father pafd
for it: She told me once that she new
err had so cents to spend. She mar
ried a man like her father: He also
thought women had no sense about
money, and during the ten years of
her married life she never had 5 cents
she didn't have to account for. Left
with $1,000 insurance. does anyone
wonder that the sum seems boun dless
riches and that she feels that she can
spend. and spend all her days, and
still have money left. Don't blame the
woman: Go farther back"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09
POINTED PARAGRAPHS
GFrom the Chicago News-l

[F'rom the Chicago News-1
Often man. imposes on hfmsei1 Wheh
he taxes his memory.
A man isn't necessary generous De-
cause he gives himself away
Poor coffee furnishes GROUNDS Tor
much domestic dissatisfaction
Much of the charity that ought to be-
gin at home doesn't begin anywhere
Instead of calling a man liar 1t Is
more polite to say he is unhistorical.
The farmer is the most independent
nerson on earth-when his wife is away
from home.
A man never realizes what a sponge
ter and mops it all up
It's so much easier to congratulate q
man on his success than 1t is to sym
nathize with him in his misfortunes.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09
JOURNAL ENTRIES

The Topeka & Southwestern also
scores in this respect: 1t was not made
a defendant in the two-cent fare suit.
x X X
1t is asserted that no Kansas poIita-
clan is SO familiar with w. r. Stubs
as to call him walt" However, Tom
McNeal calls him Ross"
X K X
The report that a Topeka man is
suffering from nervous exhaustion is
causing considerable surprise 1t was
supposed that his nerve was mex
haustible.
The colleges will soon open and re-
formed football will make business
pick up for the surgeons again.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

IFron the New York Press.l
A man can stop smoking unless it is
had for his digestion to keep on.
There Is no objection to a woman be-
ing very thin if she has to sit in your
lap.
When a girl is an heiress it's a sign
she will look pretty in the newspaper
pictures of her.
One thing women are frank about is
some of the clothes they are not dressed
in in summer.
One good thing about being a widow Is
she is in no danger of suffering disap-
pointment next time.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09

It is announced that a Harvard pro-
fessor has invented a machine to cure
liars. What a tremendous demand there
ought to be for them among candidates
who are interviewing voters and secur-
ing promises of support After securing
the promise. q few trea tments with the
liar-curing machine would clinch mat
tiers
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09

H. H. Tucker has now been released
for nearly a week. but he has made no
more affidavits about federal judges.
1t is possible, however. that Mr.. Tucker
may have private opinions on the sub
fact
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09

Japan has secured a naval base with
IN easy walking distance of the Philip
pines, as the real estate men say. but of
course she means nothing more by that
than we do by sending a fleet around to
the Pacific
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09

The woman who will become the
second Mrs. Earle says it isn't her
fault; that she would gladly sacrifice
her love on the altar of Duty, if the
first Mrs. Earle would fill the need in
Earle's life which his Artistic Tenn
permanent demands. Think of such
Nobility of Character!
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09

Having put Glass behind the bars for
Ave years. II Heney can do the same
for Patrick Calhoun, the San Francisco
street car magnate, he will have accom-
plished a fairly good Job Of getting the
men higher up7
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09

We can easily believe President
Roosevelt's next message to congress
will be no little ten-line affair. He Is
already at work on it. and President
Roosevelt, being a handy man with
the pen, can write considerable stuff
fl three months
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09

It is reported that President Roosevelt
will have a peace conference all of his
very own one Of these days. If the
brand Of peace that is manufactured at
The Hague doesn't suit him. he is just
the sort of a man to make some for him
self
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09

It is stated that Europeans think
Japan will whip America. There is
country down in southwestern Europe
that probably does not share this opin-
ion. Its name is Spain.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09

1t Is no wonder that land is ex-
tremely valuable in New York and is
constantly increasing in price. There
is only limited amount of it, while a
constantly increasing number of peo-
pie wish to live on it. The next time
New Workers build city they better
build it out in the country where
there Is more room.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09

A searchlight of 175.O00 candle
power has been installed on Pixies
Peak. There are some things in Colo
RADIO that really need a good strong
light turned on them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09

Perhaps Walter Wellman doesn't
run much risk in the arctic explora-
ton business. after all. He can turn
loose so much hot air that the arctic
region irnm ediately surrounding him
may be fairly temperate.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09
MORE WORK FOR MULDOoN.

1t would not be surprising to hear
that President James T. Harahan of
the Illinois Central railroad had gone
irto training quarters under the direc-
ton of Mr.. Muldoon at White Plains,
n. Y.-Louisville Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09

Now If we can have some of our
Justly celebrated brand of fall weather
for about three months. the past will
be forgiven the weather man.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09
SCIENTIFIC NURsERY RHYnE.

SC1EN11FIC NURSERY RHYME.
With apologies to Theodore Tilton'
Baby bye.
Here's a flyi
Let us watch him, you and I.
See him swoop
In a loop,
Almost tumbling in the soup.
There he goes
Dancing on your grandma's nose;
NOW, my dear,
See him Yeer
To your darling papa's ear.
See his feet
They are neat,
And his footsteps are so fleet!
His feet hold,
So we're told
Microbes in each tiny fold.
You would souirm
That is given to each germ
One might speak
For a week
In rich Latin and in Greek.
And not tell
Very we'll
No, nor even could he spell
All the things
The fly brings
On his feet and head and wings.
Germs of grippe,
Pains that nip,
Pangs that hold each finger tip;
Dandruff mites,
Typhoid sprites,
And appendicitis bites
All of these
With great ease,
Does he carry, if you please.
Spry and quick,
Sly and slick
With all them he's never sick.
st. Louis Republic
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09
AN ENGLISH JOKE.

The American naval department is
considering the question of a new and
more appropriate dress for American
blue Jackets and it is not impossible
that neat striped and starred bathing
costume will be decided on.-London
Punch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09

DIT. Newell Dwight Hills states that
there are forty roads to hell. OF course,
DIR. Hills does not speak from personal
observation Of the various routes. He
probably Judges from the general d.
rection in which they Lead
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09

The old proverb that the burnt
child keeps away from the hot poker
has its exceptions. Senator Long has
been answering LaFollette again.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09

Meanwhile the Alton is going right
ahead and running its trains as usual
while its immunity bath is getting
warm.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09

Speaking of nature-faking. it is Baer
that is milking the eastern public for
the benefit Of the coal trust. And this is
no lie.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09

The rest of the country makes fun
of Arkansaw for being slow. 1t will
be noticed. however, that Arkansaw
never suffers from nervous exhaus-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09
THEY,IJ. no wITHOUT

Pennsylvania grafters have not as
yet begun rushing home from abroad
to vindicate MISUNDERSTANDING Rec
ord-Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09

One hears of presidential posi-
bilities'' occasionally. but most of
them are really presidential impossi-
bIIftfes
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
~ THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

There was no immunity bath for
Glass. It is hot water for him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09
His Second Chance.

Oscar Hammerstein said of a theat-
rical question recently in New York:
Some of our managers get heated over
theatrical questions. We let personal
things-rage, joy-infuence US. This
is wrong. To succeed in this business
one must be as cool and calm and far
seeing as the young lady of Oshkosh .
Mr.. Hammerstein laughed heartily
This young lady" he resumed, had
thrust upon her one night the dis
agreeab BILE duty of refusing a young
man, a poor young man, a hopeless
young man, an eight dollar-a-week
clerk in a dry goods store.
1.-THE young man took his refusal
hard
"'You spurn me- he cried bitterly;
but you will live to rue this day.
will go out into the great marts.
will strive, I will win. My name shall
be known, my millions envied@
Then come and try me again. the
young lady calmly interposed."
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09
Proof of Property.

The teacher had found a lead pencil
on the floor of the school room.
Children" she asked. holding it up,
"does this belong)to any of you?"
For several seconds there was no
answer. Then a little girl timidly
raised her hand.
us it yours, Bessie?" said the
teacher.
Yes M
You are sure of it, are you? How
do you recognize it?'
II don't like to tell
But you will have to tell or 1 can't
let you have it,
II recognize it, teacher. by the
way it's sharpened. If it wasn't sure
enough mine I'd be mighty clear of
ownin' up to such job as that"
Bessie got her pencil.-Chicago Tri-
bune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09
SHOULD SOFTEN CRITICISM.

However, Col. Bryan's and-Taft pro-
nouncements should be softened down
a bit now that the secretary has init
mated the moral certainty that the Re-
publican nominees opponent will be
Bryan.-Milwaukee Sentinel.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09
Lots of EN-.

did you ever meet a pirate" asked
the young girl.
yes" said the admiral, "once, on
the Atlantic coast"
She shivered delightedly.
ooh she cried. land was his a low,
black rakish craft 20
mo. His was a seaside hotel"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09
ALWAYS HAPPENS

Was there ever law enacted having
for its purpose a righteous restriction
of a greed that wasn't resented as con-
fiscatory by the interests affected?-
Kansas City Star
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09
NOT WA STED.

John d. Rockefeller has at last re-
ceived his witness fees and it is be-
licved that the amount has been added
to his bank account. At any rate, it
hasn't been wasted.-Parsons Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09
HARD LICK

Wisconsin man died suddenly aftel
his wages had been raised. This VII
be so inconsiderate.-Ne York Her.
aid.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09
MORE TROUBLE FOR LOEB.

NOfNE TROUBLE FOR LOEB.
II the predicted panic occurs, the eff
fort TO lay the blame on Roosevelt will
fail Preparations to lay 1t all on Loeb
nave already been completed.-Houston
Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09

FORCE OF HABIT.
Fesuvius and Uncle Joe" Cannon
are still neutrality-suspicious. Sun
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-09
STILL. UNCERTAIN

MT Bryan has neither decided to rul
les Times
The Wenatchee daily world. [volume] (Wenatchee, Wash.) 1905-1971, 1907-06-19
Dance Tomorrow Night.

Tomorrow night the band boys
will hold another Of this popular
concert-promenade dance.
The public is invited to attend.
The Wenatchee daily world. [volume] (Wenatchee, Wash.) 1905-1971, 1907-06-19
RIGHT OF WAY
BEING BOUGHT?
Persistent Rumors That &. Ms We
natchee-OrOville Line is To
Go Through This Fall

Will jim Hill keep his promise? ?
Does he really intend to build a
railroad into the Okanogan country
this fall, as so often given out?
Quien sabe?
Engineers are working up the Co
lumbia, cross sectioning what is
thought to be the route of the pro-
posed railroad.
Spectators of the incident take
various views-some are skeptical
and others confident.
Here's news dispatch from Okan-
ogan which says:
OKANOGAN, June 1S.-Author-
itative information has been received
here that the Indian agent at Mes
plum, Wash, has been instructed by
the department of the interior to
close up all right of way deals be-
tween the Indians and the Great
Northern railway on land held by
the Indians of the Colville reserva-
ton across which the survey of the
Great Northern's Wenatchee-Oroville
line runs.
A dispatch from Olympia states
that Major Anderson, right Of way
agent for the Great Northern, has
filed application for the purchase of
right of way across state lands in
Okanogan county, descriptions OF
which indicate that the land Is To-
Gated near Brewster, between
Cherokee" Smiths ranch and T. M.
Elliott's place, covering about eight
miles. People of this locality hope
that this shows Mr.. Hills promise to
build a line up the Columbia and
|Okanogan rivers this fall is to be full
filled.
The Wenatchee daily world. [volume] (Wenatchee, Wash.) 1905-1971, 1907-06-19
Scrambled for Elusive Pork.

He said he didn't think a durn
pig could run so fast!"
Yesterday a farmer had his trou-
bles.
Bright and early he struck town
heaving anchor in front of the Ven
dome Cafe. In the rear of spring
wagon he had a box of giddy young
pigs-probably two months old
just in the foolish age.
He put up sign, announcing that
for proper consideration he could
be induced to part with the squeezing
contents of the big crate.
Bystanders read the sign, peered
into the box, prodded the fat round
bodies of the juvenile porkers, and
asked the price.
Finally a sale was made, and in
endeavoring to remove the squirming
wriggling piglet the farmer lost his
grip on his victims foot-and away
it went, down the avenue.
Then the fun began.
The pig trotted the old boy live
ly lap, ducked and doubled. in and
out among passing vehicles and be-
tween the legs of an indignant Jew
who never touched pork" in any
form.
Suddenly the farmer executed a
flying leap, embracing squealing pig,
spare ribs, bacon, summer sausage,
and all, and the chase was ended
Bystanders advised the agile agri-
cola to enter the creased pig contest
on July 4th.