The sun., 1907-03-31
AN APRIL FOOL DIARY
Being the Days Record OF a Man With I.
sense OF HumOr.

April l, 7 A. M-Looked out of the window
and shouted. "Hii- to a man. who was going
along the street. Saw him stop and look
around. Repeated this three times. AT IN.
fourth attempt l popped my head at liz,
wrong moment He saw me- and threw a
brick which broke one OF the window,
Went back to bed.
A. NAT breakfast. Told my elde..
child to look at a spider crawling on tho
ceiling. lie did | said April fool" IIe
answered, who? You or the SPIDER" Theirs
happened to be one there, which | did NOT
see. Covered two lumps of sugar with salt.
and put them at the top OF the basin Willis
l was reading my morning paper my wife
put them into my cup of coffee
10 A. M-At the office. said Good morn
ing" to the boy, and asked him II any one
had blackened his face He said not to his
knowledge. replied. Nor to mine either,
and laughed. Sent him on q round of or.
Tands. Told him to order a heap Of groceries
to De sent up to my friend JOskins Also
told him to order some shirts, hose and ties
to Boskins. While he was out, as my tyne
writer hadn't arrived, ] sat down at the
machine and(wrote these lines. which left
on the young lady's desk:
o pnthee, madam do not start
But have got an aching heart:
Behold me sitting on this stool
q won't you be MY
Then turned over the page and wrote on
the back in large letters, April Fool" and
signed il The ONCE Boy" The girl came in
presently and read the poetry She inn
mediately gave notice that either she or tho
office boy would have to leave On my hesi-
tating she put on her hat and left the Office
1850 4. NJ. Boy came in and keeps stealing
furtive glances at the clock. Sent him out to
buy some postage stamps downstairs. When
he left the room put the clock back an hour.
In doing so fell OF the chair All the neigh.
boring clocks chimed out II at the moment
Boy came in sooner than l expected. looked
at the clock and grinned.
P. NJ. Raining. johnson called | left
him in the private Office for few moments
and went into the outer room. Filled bis
umbrella with sawdust Could scarcely con-
tain myself with laughter. Presently hs
came out and opened his umbrella. Then I
let myself go. SO did he by throwing hand
full of the stun in my eyes.
p. NJ. Day getting on and haven't had
half enough fun. Got a good idea Sent
the office boy with a note purporting 70 CONS
from Jones to Brown written on the type
writer asking him to dinner.
p. NJ Home. Whistled ND the dumb
waiter in a feigned voice, DO you want suv
vegetables to-day?" Wife recognized my
voice and poured down a glass Of water on
me.
p. M. Wife says she forgot to tell ne
that Joskins and BOskins called while Was
out sending a few fool kilograms and viii hs
back at p. NJ. to make me settle for the
things delivered to them Shall go out TO
dinner. Messenger boy arrives opportunev.
Invitation from Jones to dine at Delmonco =.
Funny. Thought had fixed him No mat
ter III go. 1t would never do to mis-, an
opportunity like that.
sP. M. AT DelmonIcois. Found Jones lad
been here with Brown. They had finished
their dinner and gone, telling the manager
that would be in later with a party Of my
own and settle for what they had had ~
he knew me WELL he said An right" Had 70
settle.
10 P. NJ. Home again Wife said she had
a charming evening with Joskins and Bosklns
and had paid them for the inconvenience |
had caused them by my foolishness Tins
made me mad. To bed. Found the children
had broken my hair brush, taken out ths
bristles. stuck them in balls made ont ~
sogRy bread and put them between my sheets.
Suffered excruoiatng agony all night Don
think much OF this April business Next
year III let other people try to fool me