Bisbee daily review., 1907-09-01

had been notified that I would have ito be in evidence or that occasion, so I sorter hid out towards the shank of the afternoon, Until just at dark I emerged from back alley cinch game just in time to run smack into the arms of the intended groom. Then realized that it would have been better if had stood hitched all along. My coat was locked up in the office of Douglas and Sparks, but I held Old Man Judy up and took his, It came down to my knees and on uncon- sciously diving into the of pocket I ran into plug of tobacco, deck of cards and a package of these little silver cOloTed sweet smelling pills, which was the first intimation I ever had that Judy was a married man Having just taken the booze cure I had no use for them. Then I got my shoes shined turned my collar and borrowed a peach-complected cravat of Big George. George chews toback- CT but you couldn't tell the difference by a bum lamp light. Then I got Robinson to plait my few remaining hairs and roach my mustache. Then had a pair of white rag gloves wore at old Toddyslinger's funeral, and I marched up there looking toler- able effulgent. If my grass widder could have seen me just then, I reck- on that weddin would have been a double-header. While the preliminar- ies were in progress, laid my-no, Judy's-coat on the foot of the bed and when Judge Rice called time. in the excitement of the moment, I arose in my embarrassment and shirt sleeves, forgetting to throw my-no, Judy out When I had to spit, pretended to scratch my nose and spit down my sleeve.
 The groom was comparatively "cam" but I was ready to faint. The contracting parties then shook hands, like any other prize fighters before beginning the battle of life, and the judge put on the matrimonial clamps, and mailed the key to Judge Doan. The justice of the peace ought not I nave Ine power to do anything he i can | undo, but ne nas IT It wasn't for his fine work what would the poor divorce lawyer do those cold nights amen, was said I started forward to kiss the bride, but the judge shuck his head and I backed of. My educa- tion was sadly neglected in regard to this. particular detail ana I did not know what to do with my hands and feet.
 | My senses began to reel and I was | swimming around in a sea of fry pans, and graniteware and china, and fe- male paraphernalia, and I thought saw wash day passing in dress pa rade, with stern orders, Shut that dorr, don't walk on that wet floor, 2 You'll have to piece out on cold pork Il today" T just can't get those irons hot" There them clothes is biIin' lover "Go out and play, children %
 John, stretch that clothes line" and How did you get this shirt so dirty It's just like hog Of a man and Il Don't you know better than to come Il around for that rent on dash day2'' and, Hurry up or we won't git , through in time for the Dime" And then it got dark and I tumbled in a {heap across a dilapidated sofa with
 no restoratiyes at hand
 When came to- the judge had skid
 dooed with a new i've dollar bill in his watch pocket and I arose and
 walked forth in dream, also in the
 rain, and no one was there to com
 fort or sustain. no one by my side i with loving eyes aglow, or with re- proachful look remark, T told you so;" no one to tell me of my earthly sins, or send me back a mile for safe ty pins; no one to say of me when I am dead, He always brought the : proper kind of thread" no one to stir the hash with all her might; no one Ito love, to dress, to feed or fight; no one to tuck me into bed, or bind cold
 rags about my bursting head
 Oh, Lordyi The bride asked me
 why I didn't wed. Tt costs no more
 for two than one, she said. You've
 managed for yourself, so far in life;
 why don't you go and get a husky
 wife?"
 Yes, I have managed in some old
 way, but as for her she wouldn't want
 to stay, for I'm at home in any sort of
 blouse, while she is used to living in ; house-to eating on a table and sleeping in a bed, and wearing costly feathers upon her pretty head-And
 such a living as I'd make for hel
 would constitute an everlasting blur For both our sakes I'll take no ugly . chances, until my prospect luck some
 what enhances. The other chap may have the happy weddin-I am conten | with good old beans and beddin.'
 MESCAL-