Willmar tribune., 1907-11-27

rot 10 me the OCner Gay, / nave a
note for $l00 due and have received
notice to pay. haint got more
than fifty dollars, and l kahn over
to sea if you kood lend me another
fifty to help me owt.''
"Jack,' says l, Il wood he tik-
keld to deth to help you owt, but l
haint got the fifty, not being abel
to sell my wheel. .Howsumever,
rekken we kan get you over the
difficulty by the Cortelyou method. "
"What is that?' says Parrott.
II am surprized at you, Jack, "
says l. Don't you reed the paipers?
Haven't you hurd how CorteIyou is
going to help owt the fnanshel
strinjensy by borrowing a lot of
monny from the peepel that haint
got enuff now to transakt bizness?
It is the latest and most syentifik
method Of fynanseeringd, and if
Cortelyou kan saiv the kountry that
way l fgger that kan do the saim
for you. Just lend me the fifty
you hav got and | will ishew my
bonds for the saim. That will rem
medy the sitewashun. "But
don't sea how that will help me-
says Jack.
"Neether do l." says |. But
Cortelyou must know, kaws that is
the way he does it. We will hav
to rite him and find owt what is
the next step.' So | maid owt my
bonds for fifty dollars and Jack
handed me his monny. We then
roat joynt noat to Cortelyou, ask
ing what we was to do next, and
we ar ankshusly wayting to here
from him. In the meen time I hav
bin bizzy trying to fgger owt for
myself how the thing is dun, and
hav konsulted sum professors in
Mathematics, but no one seams to
be abel to figger it owt. But it
must be awl rite, or Cortelyou
woodent do it or Roosevelt wood
not Civ his konsent.
#
I sea that Teddy Roosevelt has
orderd his offisholders to quit work
ing for his renomminayshun and de.
voat thare valewaple time to push
ing the Taft boom. We had pres
sident wons hoo orderd awl federal
ofisholders to leev pollyticks aloan
and devoat thare time to the biz
ness Of thare offises that was
long ago, and is too old fashend a
sistem for theaS progresSiv days.
l will Civ a bushel Of good, first
klass. soWnd rutabaggas to the first
man hoo kan Civ a satisfactory ex.
planayshun Of why Taft is so mutch
better than amy of the other can
dydaits that the entyre foars Of the
federal government must be ewsd
to help the pepeel sea the nesessitty
Of nominating him. He must hay
hid his light under a bushel basket
or the peepel wood hav disoverd hi
merits long ago and it wood moi
be ne sessary for Teddy and hi.
offsholders to beet the drums anc
sownd the lowd symbals in hi!
prays.
'Ihare is one moar thing l kan
understand. The Teddy & Taf
paipers ar ewnanimusly showing
} that Joe Cannon is the candidate O.
the reashunairies, the ennemys O.
Teddy. the trends Of corporayshuns
ct settery. Yet the republicans il
congress ar going to elect him will
owt amy opposishun in thare part!
to puSishun only a little less ii
power than that of the president
mainly speaker of the hows. Kal
it be possibel that awl the republic
ans in congress ar oppoasd to Tedd,
; and his reforms and ar cloas frend
of the corparayshuns-o is tn,
, hoal hulalballoo sham and awl lth,
leeders of the varyus fashuns of til,
! party reely Of one mind and onl,
i fitting for the offises. I: 3E=.s.. I.
Jimminny Cricketts. Il