The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-19

Forty State legislatures are now In ses-
sion in the United States, and although
each of them is made Up Of men of
every kind and sort, the composite state
legislator is a most distinctive American
type. His home paper calls him Hon
and refers to him as a "sOlon.' The city
papers decline to take him seriously un-
less ne is holding up the election Of
United States Senator, or Is to be scolded
or cajoled into supporting a favorite
measure. Because most legislators are
from rural districts, the mind instantly
pictures a "solon' with chin whiskers.
AS a matter of fact. lawyers are in
large majority in all legislatures
In kentucky several years ago an emil
nent lawyer Of more than Statewide
reputation was sent to the legislature
for the special purpose of advocating GER
tain much-needed reforms. He prepared
an elaborate statement filed with eta
tons OF authority and Teplete with re-
views of cases. It was an important
document he thought, and to prevent
any mistake. he read it from manuscript.
When he had finished a two hours read
ing. an old man from the mountains,
whose family name has been connected
with "a famous feud, arose and said: Mr..
Speaker the county what sent that
Teller here mought as well have writ a
letter"
The same moUntaineer owed his seat in
the legislative hall to the fact that the
opposition party in his country had split
into factions and divided its vote among
three candidates. once it was suggested
that ne was the creature of circum-
stances. The old man looked at il in a
different way and in a speech I'm the
house shouted: Il beat three on EN- last
election. and the man is a liar who says
I CANT beat jest one"
In the Minnesota State senate in the
days of violent free-silver agitation, there
was a German who believed firmly in the
gold standard and was alarmed by the
1G-to-1 propaganda. lie thought TO end it
all by speech. lie said: IF goes down
by der lake. and I say. hello vat comes
back? Hello When dere is free silver
and l goes down by der lake and say Won
dollar vat comes back? Only hfty cents
The grafters Of the Wisconsin legisla-
ture had a great scheme some years ago
to pass a bill authorizing each county to
issue funds for the extension Of the tele-
phone system. It was great thing for
the telephone companies. great for those
legislators who were on the inside, and
the taxpayer was being told Il was great
for him because he would get the tele-
phone in his house One fearful states
man arose and bewailed at great length
the condition Of the oooT farmer who
could not get the doctor for hts sick child
for hours and hours because there was
no telephone. all due 20 q parsimonious
State that would not give him telephone
lie harangued for an hour and sat down
amid the s0bs Of ali the tender-hearted
'soIons" who were in on the graft Then
little red-headed Irishman jumped up
and said: Mr.. Speaker. don't yez think
it would De cha7er for the gintleman to
spind twinty-hve c;uts fer the book
Plat To Do Till the Doctor Comes?'
In the Indiana legislature there was a
very tan man. Il giant, who was much
given 20 oratory. There was also a very
small man, a midget, much given 20
speech-making. The giant delivered him
self of FOurth-of-July oraticu one day
on nothing in particular. When the mid
get arose to reply ne began: "The noun
tain has been in labor Just then a third
person broke in with "and a ridiculously
small mouse viii now be heard 10 squeaL"
There was TO more oratory that day
Nicholas LOngwoTth when a member of
the Senate in Ohio employed unique
method Of killing bill to prohibit the
sale Of cigarettes III that State The
measure had been introduced in the
house merely for the purpose Of holding
up the tobacco trust, but II got away
from its clever author and passed the
house. In the senate it was referred to
the committee OF which Lonsworth was
chairman. A day for the hearing was
set. and the disguised author Of the bill
was asked 10 come over and speak for his
uncut melon. Longworth had the win
dows and doors closed. then passed
around Turkish cigarettes. Even those
who had never smoked one took "cof-
fin tack and lighted IT, The air was
thick in a few moments. Then came the
author Of the reform measure. who did
not smoke He tried to speak. but there
were so many Interruptions that he could
not make any Roadway. Three or four
members took pains to blow smoke in his
face. Choking with rage and the fumes
OF cigarettes. he blurtcd out: This bin
may go 10 hades' as he bolted for the
door Thus the measure was asphyxiated
4 member Of the Legislature in Georgia
was patron of the manly art and
voted for a bin to Iegalize prize lighting
He was not successful, but the sports
of the capital city gave him big rccep-
ton and presented him with gold
headed cane. The Indignant county com
missioners at home heard of il. and de-
manded his resignation. He retorted bv
getting a bill passed abolishing their Of
flee.
Nothing on earth need prey more earn
estly to he delivered from its fool friends
than a bin in the State legislature. Hun
dreds Of measures have been defeated By
the too arduous advocacy Of interested
statesmen Sometimes this advocacy is
not altogether Ingenious A decade ago
it was the fashion in more than one State
TO introduce pure baking powder" bills
for the express purpose Of holding I'D
certain manufacturo~s who were known 10
protect" their interests One Of these
bills provided that the full formula Of
baking powder should be stamped in the
tin OF each can SO that no erasures might
be possible. Il was passed by the senate
and went 10 the house. Speeches in its