The Washington herald., 1907-07-25
being a Few Words on Heat.

Failing TO make an impression with
| its vociferous fictions concerning It's
/ Ganges-like Buffalo Bayou, its blood
thirsty and rufHanly mosquitoes, and its
Northumberland watermelons, the Hous-
! ton Post IS attempting to attract atten-
! ton along new lines, just - we ex-
/ pected It would. It Is now asking the
/ public to believe that even the summer
/ time heat in Houston is far superior to
/ that in any other city on earth. The
| mercury stood at 104 in Atlanta Sunday"
| says this metempsychosed and newspa-
| perized old man Munchausen, and adds:
1T was quite warm IN Houston. but the Houston
heat is much softer. sikier. sweeter. and rest
/ ful and soothing than any other heat We ever
heard Of"
Cannot some one suggest a means Of
I bringing this abandoned journal 70 a
realization of its egregious sins against
/ society. and thus help to effect its refor-
matiOn2 If something is not done, we
! soon shall be deluged with stories about
| the superior qualities of Texas boil wee
Wis and the marvellous advantages Of
Texas "chiggers," and that would be too
much. The remarks quoted above come
very close indeed to marking the limit
/ Of our endurance.
Houston heat is restful, but we must
be permitted 10 doubt with extreme fer
vOr all the other asseverations concerning
/ it. It IS so restful, in truth, that once IN
der its influence few of the mosquito
| scarified HOustonians ever desired to do
or v~fI hr,T I'll. g..
remarkable complications. At one time
/ for example, the municipal engineers
worried two long years over the problem
/ OF devising some method OF retaining
| the sun-meited asphalt on the sloping
surface OF that part OF Texas avenue
/ which leads Buffalo Bayouward from the
| Post building, without defacing the land
! scape. 1t was found to be possible to
erect dams at regular intervals, but the
S5-horsepOwer automobile Of one of the
city's cotton multi-millionaires begged In
| the accumulation of sticky stun behind
/ one Of these distractions, and he COM
/ planned so Justify that the scheme was
abandoned. The liquefied paving material
was then allowed to run down into the
( bayou. So closely did it resemble the
liquid encountered there, however. in
color. taste, and consistency that its pres
1 ence was unnoticed.
Of course, some people may like to live
in the terrific heat of the tropics. Per
! sonally, We prefer the soft, cool breezes
and uniformly low temperatures of Wash
/ ington. Occasionally a Houstonian at
tempts to find a cooler cline. but usually
/ he is too lethargic to get anywhere. We
clearly remember the case of the Hous-
/ ton gambler who, finding the heat IN
bearable, decided to commit suicide. after
listening to a lecture by DR.. w. S. Wheeler.
| the reformed circus clown. on the GER
| tain pOst-mortem destination of those who
sin in this life. He attempted to jump
/ into Buffalo Bayou from the San Jacinto
| street bridge. which was a very foolish
/ thing to do. in view OF the object he
4 yearned to attain. On striking the sur
| face Of the substance which composes
/ the bayou he quite naturally bounded up
ward and to one side. and landed safely
/ on the Fifth ward shore Disguised. he
emigrated to Kansas. opened a blind
/ tiger. and at last reports was prospecting
/ In view of these well-authenticated
| facts. will the Post have the assurance
| to gasconade further about the alleged
peculiarly desirable ealorifacient proper
ties Of those rays of the sun which are
50 unfortunate as to be assigned 10 shine
or that town? We don't blame them for
cutting capers- We would be hot. too. If
we were called on to perform any such
duty.