Troy weekly news. (Troy, Idaho) 1897-1933, 1907-09-27

Ahe Aeiier 1nel anus teilin' what
wonderful woman his wife is gener
ally haz t smoke In tn kitchen.-Aha
Martin.
City Man-Has your wife good
cook now? Suburbanite-I don't know
| have not been home since morninc
Pioneer Press.
Eyes, I'm going abroad at once
gotta 60" "Oh, you mustn't let tha
doctors scare you" Il got this from
lawyer. Washing Herald.
Sillicus-When would you saw that
a man reaches the age of discretion
Cynicus-When he realizes that he ia
too old to marry.-Philadelp Rec.
ord.
Maude-When you refused him NV
hand, papa, did he get down on HIS
knees? Pater-Well, didn't notice
just where he fell.-New York Even.
ing Mail.
She-He has most extraordinary
figure, hasn't he? He-That's SO.
believe an umbrella is about the only
thing he can buy ready made.-Allv
Sloper's Half Holiday.
Magistrate What! Do you mean TO
say your husband struck you, and he
that physical wreck Mrs. Maloney-
Yes, yer honor; but he's oily been
physical wreck since he struck me-
Independent.
First Tourist-What are you writ
Ing down? Second Tourist-I'm max.
ing a note Of few things that have
made an indelible impression upon my
memory, so l shan't forget them.-Chl
cago Journal.
Il can't spare the money very we'll
but I'll gladly loan it to you if you
promise not to keep 1t too long" 81
solemnly swear that Ill spend every
penny of it before tomorrow morn
Ing !'-Fliegende Batter.
II guess they've caught that wife
murderer" Anything in the papers
about it?' mo; but l saw several
women with big punches of flowers
hurrylng toward the Jail a little while
ago. Chicago Record Herald.
Husband wish had some of
those good, old-fashioned biscuits like
mother used to make for me. Wife
And 1 wish l had some of those nice
old-fashioned clothes like father used
to buy for me.-Chicago News.
Hicks-Your friend Marryat tells
me he's got his wife pretty thorough
ly trained now. Wicks-Yes, he's got
her trained so that he can make her
do pretty nearly anything she wants to
do.-Catholic Standard and Times
Young Husband-When my wife be-
gan to do her own cooking we were
having company every day: tiresome
relatives, colleagues, so-called friends
Gradually they all dropped off, and
then we engaged a good cook.-Flie-
gende Batter.
Bronson-My wife writes to me ey-
cry few days from the mountains for
more money. Woodson-Well, | gave
my wife all the money had before
she went away, aud now l have to
write to her when want some
Harper's Weekly.
'Why, Mary" said her mistress, II
told you to tidy up my room an hour
ago, and here it is IN terrible disor-
der" YES, mum, and l did, said
Mary, but the master came in to put
on clean collar, mum, and he lost
the stud. London Taller.
IF you do not take care of your
money" said the ant to the grasshoP
per, 1.-THE world will simply sneer ana
ask you what you did with it." Yes
and If l invest 1t and become rich the
world will sneer and ask me where
got Washington Star.
Mr.. Justcott-Why, what are you
crying about, dear? Mrs. Justcott~
Oh, GeorgeI The mice have got lnIo
the pantry and eaten up a beautliui
custard pie l made myself Mr.. JUST
cott-There, there. Don't cry over
few little mice.-Cleveland Leader
Hes a great growler, isn't her
Hurricane is nothin' to him." "tlnos
fault with everything?" Worst you
ever saw" 'By the by-what Is nc
doing now?' "Edlting the Band u
Hope and Sunshine department OF
new magazine !"-Atlanta ConstlU
tion.
They were celebrating their engase
ment by dining at a swell cafe Nv
you believe" she querled, that man !"
really made of dust?" "Well'" ne is
joined, glanclng at the dinner cnecA'
"he wouldn't be able to travel iar !"
you npany II he wasn't-"-Cnlcas'
News.
nj