davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1907-11-04
49,
WHAT THE PAPERS SAY.

This statement of fact from the
p1rlinoton News has our unqualified
c1dorsement. The habitually pro-
faue man shows several things; one
Il That mis- vocabulary has fearful lin
i-atious. He cannot think of any
thing TO say, so he swears: lone or
the prevailing vices OF the day-oh
the whole the most obvious ana the
rnost offensive-is that of profanity:
one cannot ak through a CROWDED
street in Burlington or probably IN
any Vermont city without ones ears
being offended and ones teenngs
shocked at almost every step py lou9
voiced foul tongued profanity, and
there are men in plenty the staple of
who's conversation IS made up OF
oatte oaths causeless rs they are
o4fer,ive A they are offensive TO
the he. rer and belittling to the utter
o. not mer from the rellgious
point of view Oaths stamp the man
who uses Il. ~ habitual'y and puollc-
lv as A cad OF the first water, I'M
vrorfhV to associate with gentlemen
and Geutlswomtn." Bellows Falls
Times.
ave notice that several OF the
papers are saying pleasant tnIng
regarding Allen NJ. Fletcher oil Cav
endish.
.sThey are all deserved.
The writer had most excellen
opportunity during the session OF tn
legislature that passed the loes
option act to become 1ntlmatel
acquainted with him.
.sHe is a man whom TO know Is I
respect and admire.
"He is. to our MUD, more like GOV
Hughes of New y ork than any man
public life in Vermont to day.
"He would make a good governC
like Hughes-and that is good enoue
for anybody or any state. "-Burhni
ton Clipper.
Good mea always deserve to
we'll spoken of and there Is not u
least doubt but that MIR fletcher Is
GOOD man But, Mr.. Clipper, VIII
did YOU see in Mr.. Fletcher during I
session of 1902 when the license Ia
vas passed TO make you think ne v
ne Hughes of Vermont. And WI
ave Won seen since. We knt
Ffughes is a native New Yorker; Il
re mas scratched with might and M
from childhood: earned by ineesss
toll every step up the long incli
That he i an eminent lawyer, col
aCsous enough TO tackle the NOR
c9rruptionist of his own state; Il
no one has ever limited at bis barr
that ne has made great record
the governor of the greatest sta
and that he is now mighty we'll spoil
Of as a presidential candidate. Tn
too, he captured the Fish and Ga
League politicians and statesmen
Vermont as against "Uncle"
Cannon.
The CHnper says Mr.. Fletcher
racrelike q ". Hughes than any I
in public life y Vermont to-day.
Heavens SAKE, "how," "whe
"where2n S. IKE your parallel
III Mr. Fletcher is more ike Hug
than any man in public life in \
mont to-day, then Vermonters
general and those in public life
particular are entitled 20 specit
lions, and these, when given,
certainly add to Mr.. Fletcher g
considerable strength, for we
quite a few strong, able men In
mont in public life to- day.-St Jo
bury CALIFORNIAN.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1907-11-04

We cali attention in this issue to q
letter FROM @. J. Ferguson, state
apperintendeut OF the anti-saloou
league. in which he hres few hot
mot AZ some OF the criticisms of him
self and the league.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1907-11-04

wbentae Stom sch. Heart, or Kidney nerves
get weak, then these organs always falle
Don't drug the Stomach or stlmu ate the
Heart or Kidneys. That is simplya make
shift. Get q prescription knt'wn to Drugg SIS
everywhere as DR. Sho ops Rest rative lac
Resto rativs is pr pared expressly for these
weak inside nerves strengthen THESE nerves,
build them up wi DR.. Shops Restorative
tablets or liqui,t-aud see how quickly help
win come. Free sample test sent on reg uest
by DIR. Shoop, Racin- Wis Your health Is
surely worth this simple test. hlnney'a
Pharmacy, BARTON Landing; F. D. Pierce
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1907-11-04

one paper wonders if those "bit' in
ma recent slump in stocks will get
the fret inkling of an idea into thelr
heads that man two hundred miles
from any "street'' can't buy stocks on
a margin and beat the market. The
idea Is absurd.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1907-11-04

The "Greater Burlington" edition
OF the Burlington Daily News Is a
pamphlet Of real worth to Burlington.
II contains over 80 pages of matter
regarding Burlington, its attractions
and advantages, and contains many
illustrations.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1907-11-04
rrp RRIGHTps DISEASE.

NJ. Robert O Burke, E1aora. \ Y, writes:
B f re / started to use FJley's Kid 3ey Cure
7 mad TO get u from twelve to twenty times
a n gat, and was all b!oated up with oropsy
and my eyesight vas so impaired | co4id
scarcely sc one of mr. ia nil across me
friend recommended Foley's kidney Cure.
OLe so cent bottle worked wonders and before
had taken the third bottle the dropsy haI
Rrigh s disc ase" F. D. Pierce. Barton, z. j
Kidney, Baton Landing.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1907-11-04
WHEN YOU BUY AN ENGINE
Buy The Bes'.
4. ". Gray & Sons
GASOLINE ENGINES
CARE THE BEST
CARE THE BEST

Remember am General Agent
for this Old Reliable firm
Anyone il Iced OF al engine or
tread power or tbra7ker. saw rigs,
fodder tier, &c. | would be pleas
ed TO hear from them also have
several secon hand l ana 2 horse
GU fits for sale.
If you wi h to buy or trade re
member that is nay business | can
also ell you other good makes Of
engines if you pre- er Send foi
catalogue and prices, | am y ufs
Tor bu sireSs
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1907-11-04

A short time ago al old negro was
up before a judge in Dawson City,
charged with some trivial offense.
"Haven't You lawyer, old man? )
inquire the Judge.
mo, sab"
"Oan't you get ons?"
"No, sab"
tsDon't you want me to appoint one
to defend your
'sNo, sab; 1 jes' tho't I'd leah de
case to de igu'ance ob de co't.o
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1907-11-04
Woman Found in Brook.
JUNCTION House Eurned.

The Huutley house and barn at
Leicester Junction was burned to the
ground Wednesday morning. The
fire started about $3.50 O'Clock soon
after the morning sleeper went
through and it is thought that spark
from an engine was the cause. EignE
horses were burned to death and the
contents of the barn were total loss
also. The estimated loss is $4,000
tt was not learned how much lnsur
aucs was carried on the property.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1907-11-04

The finest Coffee Substitute ever, has re-
ce tly been pr ,duced by DR.. Shoop OF Racine,
Wis. You don't have to boil i twenty on
thirty minutes. IN .de a a miaute, says1 he
doctor .sHeal h flee" is really the closest
Coffse Imitation ever yet produced. Net a
grain of real Coffee i'll il either. Health Cons e
Imitation is made ff IN pure toasted cereals
or grains. with m lit. NUS. etc. Really If
would fool an expert we he to unknoW-
ingIy dri * it for C0ffee Ki4ney's Phafu acy.
Barton Landing; F. ID. Pierce, Barton.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1907-11-04
"What has the Dingley bill done?"
cries a New England editor. "The
answer is easy. Everybody. Life.

Trial atarrh treatments are beiI g mailed
out FREE on requ st, by Dr. shoqp, Racine,
wis, Tnesa tess are proving to tn , people
without a p nnx's 1st-the great value OF
this scientific pres cripti,n ku' wn to drug
gisss everywhere as DR.. loot's Catsrrn Rem
sedv Sold by KIM VS. Pharmacy, Barton
Landing; F. D. PIERCE Barto-.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1907-11-04
TIE no CESTER KEMP

Manufe Sareader st;ll takes
ihe leas Of I'll olher sprea 'ers.
Il has 5 me special features
bat 10 other spraaS CT has:
the simplex b ateg olive,
] mted til, foafd etu5le
chain q or diee, NJ usht
sta l bea ef hangers. roller
hearings. moFtised and Ten
cred body const uctI0n a a IS
The hshtest draft spreader
m8de. We h4ye The thirty
bn. h ] spreader for ligst team
ard size hill farms We have
few wagons LIT aud can
make you come Eery 10"
prices
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1907-11-04
Method.

''He occasionally says things that
are wonderfully apropos," said one
statesman
Yes answered the other; hes like
our parrot at home. 1t doesn't know
much, but what it does know it Keeps
repeating until some circumstance
crises that makes the remark seem
maryelously apt. "-Pittsburg Press.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1907-11-04
nANclNa PROVES FATAL.

1rtrvuen and women catch colds ~ dance
,-sicb termiu att in pneu ouiAaud consump
ION. Alter exposure, ii Fotey's Honey anu I,o
.g-.ris taksn will break up cold ana no
80. s,li,s need be feared. Re use any
~ The genuine in yellow package ~
plsrce Bsrton: r. j. Kinney, Barton LANDING
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1907-11-04
Dr.. Shops
Cough Cure
The Family Jar.

.sThe body of the late Major Jlnhs
was cremated."
"What they goin to do with it,"
His widow has him corked up in
fruit Jar. Says it's the last of the
family Atlanta Constitution
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1907-11-04

rrcle Joseph Cannon is really a
candidate for the presidency his
friend, in Illinois asked if they might
pse his name. and he said yes
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1907-11-04
1t is Queer.

Little Boy Isn't fathers queer?
Auntie-In what way? Little Boy
When a boy does anything for his pa.
he doesn't get anything. but if another
mans boy does it he gets nickel.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1907-11-04

Best emedy for mot er to use is Kennedy 5
L.xative Cough syrup. 1t tssfss nearly as
good as maple sugar, it eptairs n , optstes
Sold by D. Pierc9, Barton. F. j. Kinney
Bar on Lan1ing.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1907-11-04

DeWitt's CArbolized Witch Hazel Salve is
healing and soothing. Good for piles Sold
By f. d. Pierce, Barton; f. j. Kinney, Barton
Landing.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1907-11-04

rsrm..-wass PAN srmorLy ~ APvAN'E
ti.g YrsR.
I'd .,ssrx Cor a change OF address, always
.tsta where rour paper is r0'r sent.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1907-11-04
nuIs1s woRra RENENBzR

AS no one is immune, every person should
remember that Foley's K dneY Cure VIII cure
any case of kidney or bladder trouble tbat -
ot hexond the reech or meoicioe- f. D..
Ierce,R4fton F. j. Kinney, barton Landing.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1907-11-04
Cough Caution

Never, positively never poison your lungs. If you
cough-even from q simple cold only-you should
always heal. soothe. and ease the frritated bron.
chial tubes. Don't bhndly suppress 1t with
Supplying poison. It's strange how some things
finally come about For twenty years DR.. Shoop
has constantly warned people not to take cough
mixtures or prescriptions containing OPIUM.
late though-Congress says Put it on the label;
If poisons are in your Cough Mixture" Goodl
Very good | for thisv reasonmothers.
and others should insist on having DR.. Shoop 8
Cough Cure. No poison marks on Dr.. Shoop 3
labels-and none in the medicine. else it must by
law be on the label. And it's not only SAFE put ~
IL said to be by those that knowit best truly re-
markable cough remedy. Take no chance then.
particularly with your children. Insist on having
Dr. Shoop's Cough Cure Compare carefully the
Dr. Shoop package with others and note the
difference. No poison marks there! You can
ALWAYS he on the safe side by demanding
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1907-11-04

,Judge.-.sWhat brought you here?1
Prisoner.-:'Two policemen.
"Druns, I SUPPOSE"
"Yes; both of them. The Editor
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1907-11-04

Insurance Official Convicted.

DR.. Gillette, former vice president
of the Mutual Life Insurance company
of New YORK, was found guilty OF
perjury and sentenced to six months
in the penitentiary Monday. The Of
fence was CONNECTED with testimony
given during the Insurance revela-
tions. when he frat denied and the n
admitted that he placed $1,000 in a
bank for the purpose of influencing
legislation.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1907-11-04
& Maine R. R.
Through Train Service.
In effect October :. 1907.

Through Train Service.
In effect October :. 1907.
Trains Leave BARTON.
MONTREAL-*4:I5 a.m IS IA, pm
OUEREC-H4:25 q. m
SHERBRo0 kE-Ti ga. m tl2:o3 t5:52p.m.
NEWPO RITA :25f5 :3us. m I:e3, s5:I4t5:5Sp m
WAITE RIvEk JIT., BELLOWS FALLS.
Ton, H0LYOKE. AND SPRISGFIELD,
II IA q. M, f4:40 fill 90 N.
LY DONyILLE. ST. JOHNSBURY, AND
WE - RlVER- t7;29, a. M, 'l:2I, t4:4O,
NEW OKA-f7:29 a. M. tfi1 SO p. m.
CO>CORD, MANCHESTER. n. H., NASH
IA Jor., LOWELL. AND 30 sTON-sl2:I0
aims leave BARTON LANDING.
MONTREAL-*5: 2Ip.m
OUEBEC-F4:36 am
EbBROOK E-fTi rs a. m ,fI2:I5. rs :O6; ID. m
NEWPOhT-Tf :3s 1850 a. M, II2:I5, $50
T6:O6 p. m.
WELLS RIVER-fI:Is A. M, tI:o6, f4:23, pm
W9iTE RIVER JCT.. BELLOWS FALLS
GRhE FLED, MASS NORfHAM pTCN
bOLIOKE and SPRINGFIELD ID, II :I3a N.
| NEW -YORK-t7; l3 a.. m.
CONCORD, LANCASTER, NASHUA jet.
n II, LOWELL 'sru sOSrON, MASS =
Z: 3, 9. d. 60 1854 u.
Trains leave SOUTH BARTON.
| NEWPO1-T and sHERBROOkE-tl1:5S g..
m. 1892 p. m.
WHITE RIVER jet. BELLOWS FALLS.
GREENFIELD, NORTHAMPs ON, HOL-
YOKE and SPRINGFIELD, MASS
| f7:i0 m. Ash p.
LYNDONyILLE, ST. JOHNSBURY and
WILLS RIVNR-f7:40 a. NJ, f4:5t p. m.
| NEW u IL k-T7:40 : M.
CONCORD. MANCHESTER, NASHUA jet,
\. H., LOWELL and BOSTON, MASS
| f7:40 a.
+Daiy. tDailv except Sunday. Daily ex-
cept Monday. fStops only on signal TO TAKE
or t. LEAVE on Office to &C ndnctor.
IetasIed information and time tables nag
be obtained at ticket offices.
| d j. FLANDERS. G. NJ, BURT
Pass. Trdr. Mgr. Gen. Pass. Agt
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1907-11-04
STATE NEWS.

Asylum Attendant Furnished Liqu'r.
James Howatt, an attendant at the
state hospital for the insane at Water
bury. has been sent 70 the house q
correction at Rutland for iurnis hing
liquor, aud, beside that, has paid
fine or intoxieation.
Woman Found in Brook
Ida May Emsry was arraigned 70
the Barre city court Tuesday morn
ing and paid a foe OF s. aud costs Tor
iatoxicati5n. Late Mon1ay after
noon sh > wasfouu in G lnnsrs brook
which runs through the city. Her
three months o d ,hild lay on stone
wall near the water and was covered
with mui. TIE Woman denied try
ing to commit suicide. The water /
wais, deep and runs under severa
buildings.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1907-11-04
NOTICE

Those desiring Electrical Work done, please
cal on HaZsn Clark, Electrician, at sub-sta-
ton, or at Office of F. w Baldwin, Electrical
Manager. PEI order
TRUSTEES BARTON VILLAGE.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1907-11-04
GENERAL NEWS.
r-.L-.al. kiIls 60 il I1aly.

It's estimated that go people l2st
their lives by earthquake SHOCKS 10
Calabria. s uthern Italy, October %.
Great dislrsss prevails among the
survivors.
Bryan and Hearst Talk It Over.
On is recent visis to Nv York,
W. II. Hearst at the lauief's home.
The two Dsmo rats have nos been
supposed to be very close political
friends of late. It IS couj 'ctar9d that
the presidential nomination was the
subject in hand.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1907-03-02
MARRYING
NY PA OFF
By MERCER VERNON.

b&4*@t6*@%@%e%@+@+@%S%9%9l
tCOpyright, by Daily Story Pub. Col
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1907-03-02

Long before he becomes familiar
with the value of the animal as rated
by Richard III, who offered his king
dom for horse, the small boy yearns
for an equine. His fondest dreams are
those in which nc charges the enemy
on a foam-covered steed of white He
talks horse until the family members
hold a consultation and decide either
to get the horse or send Johnnie for a
visit at grandmas.
To make the matter worst, every
movers wagon that trails through
town has a spotted pony tied to the
end-gatel And at alarmingly reason
able prices, too. All this adds to a
fathers irritableness and a mothers
sympathetic sorrow. The boy. seeing
no awakening, dreams on. talks on,
and at last, in sheer desperation, re-
solves to steal a horse, run away and
join Buffalo Bill He dreams of tri-
umphantly returning home on the
back OF his charger when all the bat
ties have been won. and, like Alexan-
der, he has wept because there are no
more worlds to conquer.
Grandly he rides, while the admiring
multitude applauds his prowess. Into
the old home town he turns his steed
chatting at the bit. the rim upon Gam
brinus' lip, the fire within his equine
eye.
Down the hill and into the main
street the conquering hero comes,
while trumpets blare and village
church bells chime! Straight to his
fathers house the dreamer bears. The
awed parent stands apart, awaiting to
be summoned With maguanimity the
son recognizes the father and shouts
proudly his clarion voice ringing
across the area:
How dye like this ere boss, dad?"
And just at this juncture mother
calls out for the fourth time:
George Washington Anterior, II
you don't wake up and carry in that
wood befooe school time. I'll strap
youl" And George does!
Alas There is altogether too much
practicability in this life for boysl
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1907-03-02

all excited and talked and talked,
and said thcre'd he two circuses in
town pretty soon and could go TO
both Of them. Then he wound up
by asking me how I'd like Miss Jane
for a stcp-mother.
81 think she's fine" says |. But
do you think she'd have you?"
"Oh, Of course" said pa.
Have You popped the question.
pop"
'N-no. my SON"
well, you'd better get busy"
Pa left me in a hurry. The last
| saw of him he was flying across
the street toward Miss Names. lie
didn't show up for dinner that even
ing. so about seven | went over to
Miss James | didn't knock before
going in and guess sort Of sur
priscd them. heard Miss Jane
scream. and then there was terri
bic scramble. Miss Jane reached for
- chair and got hold Of the wrong
1rm and sat on the floor in n heap,
When ! came into the room Miss
lane was as red as a beet They
10Th looked awful happy and pa was
I'll pcrsplring knew what was
~, 50 went over and took one Of
Miss James hands and one of pas
y mine and said. Blessings upon
Won, my children Pa gave me so
cnts. and thought it would be
.ort of mean TO hang around so |
iaried to whistle ~ Got Mine. Aand
IN them 10 face their future.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1907-03-02

There was a book agent named lingo
Who talked a most terrible lingo.
For the man who would kick
He wore a hard brick
In the tail Of his ulster. by iinRol
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1907-03-02

chance. That's what pa should
have done.
But anyway. he didn't-and, to
make matters worse, he said he had
come after meme that had
been able to 90 home alone every
night for the last month. That
made me sick. SO | Just told him
to come along and grabbed up my
hat and started for the door. But
he didn't seem to want to come, so
went back and sat down. But you
bet your boots he didn't get a chance
to make up with Miss Jane. She
sat off in corner reading a paper,
and | kept talking and talking to
pa, and ! made him read three of
Tennyson's poems and lots of other
stuff, and pretty soon he grabbed up
his hat and told me we were going
over to the hotel After / got into
bed pa said he'd forgotten some
thing over at Miss James, so he went
back after it. 1t took him an hour
to find, it, whatever it was.
The next day he began talking
again about the home question. He
asked me who I'd like for step
mother. OF course he thought |
would say Miss Jane first thing
but / just thought I'd have a little
fun with him
81 think Miss Maud would be
NICE" said l. Miss Maud was one
of his lady friends. Glow would
you like her, pa?"
"Oh, fairly WE'LL" said he. But
can't you think of someone else?'
"Well-how about Miss Harriette
and she's rich, too"
Money isn't everything, my
SON"
81 can't just think Of anyone else
I'd like" said !.
Poor pa didn't say anything more
about it that evening. But one day
he said "Miss Jane thinks a lot
Of you, my boy"
"Does she?" said l.
Eyes; she says you're the incest
little fellow she knows"
'Where do you come in at, PAP"
"Oh-a--that-that's different"
WELL" said l thought I'd say
to please pa for once
q like her, too"
My-you should have seen the
,hange that came over pa. He got
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1907-03-02

There was a young girl from Perdue
Whose eyes were heavenly blue.
The miss was well bred.
But her hair was so red
She looked like hot lobster stew,
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1907-03-02
with the Country Editor.
CASEY'S IDEA

They were talking of so many men
who had accumulated large fortunes
in business who died of softening OF
the brain, and remarked the strange
ness of IT, Casey butted 10 with
1T wood be much stranger IL eny Nv
thin died iv sOftcuing iv the haart."
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1907-03-02
WISE Recommendations

II was in the old town OF Lake.
when the first chemical engine which
had long been in disuse. was hauled
to fire, and tailed to work, that one
of the board at the next meeting said
Mr.. Chairman ] make a motion that
the fire extinguishers he examined
ten days before every fire hereafter "
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1907-03-02
ONE. TWO. THREE.

1t was Vale avenue lady who re-
ferred TO her cooks and lady
friend asked Why do you keep
more than one cooke" and was an
swered oh yes, we always have
three. the one that's going. the one
that's coming aud the ones that's
here"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1907-03-02
Low LIGHTs. PLEAsE.

They were talking OF dancing, when
one who rs opposed 10 Il said Mod
ern dancing should be- reformed. 1t is
only polite way nj hugging girl.
What would you suggcst?" We'll,
said the flippant youth. 4 would sug-
gest doing away with the music"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1907-03-02
SAFE INVESTMENTS.

Are those mining stock certifi-
Gates safe investments p
''ln sense. They are the sort
YOU lock mp in a safe, and then hope
for the best"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1907-03-02
MUSIC IN THE AIR

Every Pike resort now has a graph
ophoDe William o Marsten was the
first proprietor to install a music ma
chine and he has been followed by
George II Bott and Lawrence rTueb
ener With every drink the patron IS
given a tune without extra charge.
The machines will play everything
from Verdis III Trovatore." or Chop
ms "Nocturne in + Flat" down 10
Turkey in the straw or the drinking
song from "Old Heidelberg -
Brighton ulll News
funny old geezer from Daw
Got mixed with a circular saw
SAID he. rather meek.
A. ne picked VI mis- cheek.
mo more sich close shaves fer yer paw =
Ra+s,Ms4s..s
~ .-----s----~-i4s
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1907-03-02

An over bashful young man Of Iowa
proposed to his girl ~ sending her a
monograph, to the .waxen cylinders
OF which he had previously told his
love. The girl was greatly surprised
and not displeased. al playing the in.
strumeat. to hear her lovers declara-
ton, but this idea Of a betrothal did
not greatly appeal to her. Accord
ingly she sent her little brother with
a note which read: Dear Sir-lf
you have courage enough. you might
come over and tell me what you have
to say, but If you haven't. stay at
home, for I'll be fingered II I am
going to be Rugged and kissed by a
photograph IL I never get a chance
to say 'Yes!"