The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-06-02

eplgrafna ntAd his
homely iIiustra.
tiona. Perhaps II would be Just ~
well not to sock for many other re-
semblances. but IN witty remarks and
pat anecdotes ex.Bccretary Shaw does
approach the great war president.
Here IL sample Of tho aptnean Of his
stories;
A man went to him one day when
ther. was talk Of some customs frnuds
IN New York to nsk II he intended
starting nm investigation.
n knew fellow once" said Mr..
Shaw. "who hunted foxee w:sh brass
band. IA very long aud embarrass'
Ink pause, while the secretary went on
/AIgnIng hia MALL lie didn't got any
! foxes"
one day Justice Harlan Of tho 81.
premo court. propounded this query to
Shaw;
',Atr. Secretary. what is tho differ
encc between a statesman and a poll.
ticianf''
Quick 40 thought came ths answer:
tits tho difference between tho
young man seeking position and tho
boy looking for job"
A frisnd Of tho family once remark
sd 10 the secretary:
Mfrs Shaw Ia 80 kind. isn't ahoT
''klndy" repeated Mr. Shaw. Mrs.
Hhaw would DO kind to her own exscu-
TONER"
When tho treasury portfolio was Of.
fefcd 70 Governor Shaw. hiH friends, IN |
bis presence. were spcculating as TO |
whether he would accept or not He |
set their minds AZ rest by tailing the |
following story:
Two boys. fsili aud Bob. were at the |
dinner table. Some time before tho |
aud Of the meal tho pie was passed, |
Bill declined to take any. saying hc
was not yet ready for tho dessert, Bob
helped himself TO the biggest piece on |
the plato and. turning TO Bill. remark.
I'd. 'Bill. ailus take pia whom pie -
paasln'.'"
The treasury department bad mi
nor employee named Mike. who went
on periodical aprees. But he was con-
alderrd indispensable, 10 was taken
back each time. Mr. Shaw learned Of |
this and asked tho dcIlnquent's imtne-
diate superior. "what would you do II |
Mike were deady' "0h, suppose We |
would have 10 straighscn out things |
ourselves" ''Wcll. Ho far as this DE-
partment Il concerned. Mike Ia dead.
80 begin and stralghten."
When he was secretary ho always |
wanted 10 help people II ho could. but,
much az he desired to assist one won.
an TO q position, he saw Il was impos-
aIbe,
II tell you how Il In. my good wonl'
an" he said finally. "I'm always will
Ing to climb tree for anybody. but !
couldn't climb a creased pole to please
my mother. | want to help you. but
simply can't do it"
. Senator pepew once raised q great
s,igh at London banquet by quoting
following poem as coming from
w's pen:
zoo ask papa" tho maiden said,
lie know that her papa was dead.
~ Ie also knew tho life he'd iod
81 And understood her when ahe said.
Go ask papa"
EnglIshmen are said TO be slow In
seeing a joke. but even they caught on
to the girls polite method OF telling an
unwelcome suitor to 80 to the Internal
regions.
When shaw was governor, he waa
one day making speech In which he
was often interrupted BY one man In
tho audience This individual butted
In once too often. In mn unhappy mo-
ment he broke In with Pardon me,
butt
Before he could tinlsh the governor
replied: well, I've pardoncd lots
worse fellows than you Id my time,
and presume II would be unjust to
draw the line here"
The fellow sat down, and during the
remaining two hours OF the address
there were no more Interruptions.
Governor Shaw once addressed
letter to his wife as follows;
The Best Woman In the World,
Dea Moines, Is.
'The letter." said the happy woman,
with a mixture Of delight and senti-
ment, twas delivered to me without
question az tho postmaster knew tho
writing"
When Beilamy storer was dismissed
from the diplomatic service recently |
some one asked Shaw II the decision
had been sudden In answer came q
story.
"out west" said the secretary,
ssthere was tcnderfoot who struck o
new town Just as a funeral procession
was coming out, He stood and watch