The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1907-05-02
Ar the BOARDING
HOUSE TABLE
a Fow Things Explained.

We'll" said Neverthink, the clerk
at the boarding house breakfast table,
as he speared biscuit with his fork
Il see this man, ex-senator Burton
has confessed out in San Francisco
That was quite "A graft mixup out
there | guess"
Miss Chunky, the fat school teacher |
hurriedly put her coffee cup down and
coughed. Then she laughed.
Now what do you think of that?' |
she said. Ex-senator Burton out IL |
Frisco! oh, Mr. Neverthink. you'll be |
The death of me yet You'll make me
laugh myself to death You ought to
read the newspapers"
What's the joke?" asked the clerk.
folding a pancake preparatory to put.
ting 1t in his mouth.
why, ex-senator Burton isn't mixed
up in that San Francisco affair He's
from Kansas City, Mo. He never was
in Frisco, so far as ever heard"
Pardon me, Miss Chunky" came
from Wheat, the grain man, but aren't
you wrong about Burton's being from
| Kansas City? | think
| There you go again Mr.. Wheat
OF course, anything l say in your pres
ence is wrong. In fact when you're
near I'm a regular knownothing" and
| the fat school teacher cast a look of
scorn at the grain man. The latter
went down behind his newspaper and
there was silence for moment.
| We'll, didn't somebody confess to
grating out there in Frisco?" asked
Neverthink.
Sure said the fat school teacher.
1T was this man Rueff Schmidt"
Didn't they try to blame the big
fire on him, Miss Chunky" asked Miss
Primm, the little old maid.
"Oh. no. | think not" was the re-
ply. THE earthquake caused that, be-
yond doubt"
Il thought" said Neverthink, stir
ring his coffee round and round, that
the laps got mixed up in that trouble
and that President Roosevelt wasn't
going to let them go to school"
SILLY boy" came from Miss Chunky.
AT the time of the earthquake and
fire there were no laps in Frisco"
Did they fire them all out?" asked
the grain man from behind his paper.
At. first the fat school teacher
thought the question was meant seri'
ously. 81 think not" she said. Then
the quiet laughter of the grain man
made her realize that he had sprung q
joke and that she had bitten"
But by the way, Mr.. Wheat" she
added, I'D rather you wouldn't spring
any of your coarse witticisms at my
expense. You ought to be playing end
man in the minstrel show of George
|, Conan. You're funnier. l think. thar
even George Primrose Dockstader Blu
/ Iyour work is coarse
r The grain man did not reply. TIL,
4 railroad man next to him smiled
) family.
p Il thought" said Neverthink, "tha
\ it was just the other way. under
:. stood the Jap school children wanted
a to labor and the president said, No
e sir; you'll go to school, Then whei
he did it this Queen Alexandra, dow
q ager empress of China and Japan, go
n sore"
;. Goodness me, Mr. Neverthink!
said the fat school teacher. why Oh
O earth don't you put in a few minute
n a day and read the newspapers? Yo
r talk idiotically. The empress of Chin
A has nothing to do with Japan, furthe
than to keep Siam out of her hand:
r And Queen Alexandra is the wife c
England's kaiser, not of China
o mikado."
n THAT SOP" said Neverthink, innt
!. Gently. 81 thought it was the othe
T. way"
The grain man smiled at the raj
road man and the latter smiled bacl
But they both kept discreetly quie
g Everybody was busy eating for col
q pie of minutes and then Neverthin
Il said:
n ~ see Harry Thaw has got his luni
|. tic commission. Looks like that fe
It low can get anything he wants, eh?'
If He didn't want it," responded Mis-
d Chunky quickly. HE says he'd rattle
go to the electric gallows than to a
g. insane asylum
!" They call them nut factories, don
a they, Miss Chunky" asked Whef
Is without smile.
d Not at all, replied the fat scho'
IT teacher haughtily. Nut factory
It slang for iron foundry. Iron nuts al
L. made for bolts at such places"
IS rs there such place as cocoanl
s, factory?" asked Wheat.
p Funny again, eh?" came from Mis-
Chunky. 1T seems to me that aftC
10 each meal here have to sit down an
lie take rest. Mr.. Wheat's alleged joke
y make me so tired"
Of Again Wheat went out of sight b
N hind his paper.
=. How Plutes Catch Quail.
le These natives have unique way
L.