The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1907-08-08

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Andrew. Arnett and son were &c.
Gently Visiting at Afasstsytlle. #
Thomas EaHcett, Of Esyette City.
was visiting near Hugans this week.
The Clay district Sunday school con.
vention-Will- be held At Mccn Ysxille
next Saturday. :.
Herbert Fetty and Mr.. and Mira
Louis Smith were recent FaiFmont M
itors on Big Indian creek.
oren Jones and family, of Laurel
Rdps spsnt Sunday At iI4gSns.
WS I'D not wish atp lah9oy auydne
With laollycoddlst stical sqhsshons, YnE
we are in a desperate hurry to know
what the peek-a-boo waist derives It's
name from.
Prohibition and hypocrisy may not
be comrades in crime, but they often
have al tIa1hdt binds and leads them
together somewhere, somehow to some
thing made with hands eternal and on
earth.
Potato bugs did not visit Monongalia
county this year, and we wish the
same could be said OF humbugs.
The camp meetings at Arnettsvllle
have ceased and existence on this
section Of our sphere is one boundless
waste of measureless desolation. The
songs of unspeakable beauty that were
chanted with unprlntable sweetness
now soar back and forth in memory's
tender view. The thoughts, sublime
that were carried by the breezes
through the leafy grove will perhaps
be remembered when Bryan ceases to
orate, John D. otIufeller ceases to
speculate and Joe Cannon smokes no
more. sas
We would regret very mach; being
regarded as cynical, but alas how many
RECKLESS, Incorporate assertions are
Encountered these days while the dog
star (not the Lone STAR rises and sets
with the sun. For instance modern
distributor Of woe soaked wisdom says
that If women were as careful Of their
characters as they ire, Of their com
plexions there would be fewer grass
widows in the world. I'LL, .a b
The Populists, it seems, have been
lost in oblivion's shoreless sea, but
IIother freaks may appear at, any time.
I.Who knows when a Mary Baker Eddy.
lite will appear clothed in suspender
| less garments of glory? hall ass
A bullying crowded scientist says
that kissing will remove freckles
Fair, gentle reader, are you ready to
Ehave the theory tested? An ounce Of
prevention is not worth a pound OF
cure in this case. .a
There were 100000 demijohns manu-,
featured in the United States last
year. One for each and every. Demo,
crat and a few left for Carrie Tomboy
Nation to hurl hatchets and adjectiyess
at. st !,
According to Bryan, nc, one Is a
Democrat that has refused to vote for
Ebim and his theories. He would cast
all others into outer darkness where
there is waillng and gnashing Of teeth.
Human arrogance occasionally passetli
understanding AMI often induces its
possessors 10 look for halos above
their own heads. t, -
The Sage Brush Scientific Society
decided at its last meeting that an
oyster Is a wild animal; an onion is
a polecat: free silver Republican an
upsolyable and an lnlovahle mystery;
a.newly married couple, a gay, guilt!ess
pair; microscope one of the essen
tials when viewing bathing suits ana
that the inventor Of work should be
compelled to spend his days repair
ing the roads from the source OF Phar-
aoal's Run 10 the open Polar Sea,
That poem, as natural as waving
forests, shining streams and eternal
hills, maud Muller has been revised
and as your readers are in the habit
of getting late eveats promptly we. has,
ten to give the new yersion:-
Maud Muller on a summers day.
Raked the meadow sweet with hay,
And pulled the suckers from the corn
Needing not the dinner horn,
Till she broke ont with prickly heat
And then her language shocked the
wheat. PAGAN. .
L Or. $500 $500 .as