The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1907-10-22

idS I&AAtA Ct 80
tn pa-aper ivry day that a great DIS
grace has fallen on tn nation, bu
this is tn worst yet"
Good hivens, what Is it?' aske
Mr. Hennessy-
."Tis too d~isgracefuL Whisper tn
prisidint Nv tn United States has beer
beat at lawn tennis. Worse thin that
he was beat be a bishop. Worse ever
thin that, he was beat be a hereticL
bishop.
There il is in tn pa-apers in blach
an white. Tiddy ROsenfelt was in nj!
back yard wsitin' fr some wan 10
auered racket. He a laid low tn
entire administration. Sicrety Roo
was Ieanin' over a fence. Sicrety
Taft was settin' on tn ground fannln
himsilf with his hat TIL rest OF tn
cabinet had pleaded sudden illness OF
governint business an fled. In SD
preem cOort had said that as there
was no chance FIR a game iv mixed
doubles they wud pick up their over
skirts an 20 home an study tn Weak
spots iv tn constitution. Tn ambas-
sadures had tillygrafted to their gov
ermints askin' to be transferred 20
Morrocco or some place Where theS
cud live in comparative quiet
1T begun to look as if Tiddy Rosen-
felt was not goin' 20 be able to get up
a good Precipitation an might nave 10
put in tn Afternoon dom a little
light exercise like tossin' tn millyon-
aire with Sicrety Garfield, Whin Sic
rety Lobe poked his cad through 2
hole In tn fence an called out: TIL
bishop ~ London IS here with a tennis
bat an says he prayerfully thinks he
cud knock ye'er e~xcellency's head off
If We give him a chanct.' Bring him
in says TEDDY. with a light laugh.
Il have a great respect fr tn clergy,
an I'll on'y beat him enough to show
him that he's in a country now
where tn state is superior TO tn
church, he says. He ixpicted to see
a stout man with a pink face an size
whiskers, wearin' knee brooches an
an apron, but, instead iv that, a tall,
tnimble athlete jumped over tn fence,
flung his casSock an beretta lin a cor
ner Nv tn yard, handed his crozier to
Sicrety Lobe, an cried: Come on, an
tn divvle take| name Hiven def1nd
tn right
We'll. / can't give We all tn details
~ tn blocdthirSty encounter, as I read
thin in tn pa-aper. I'm not up on
lawn tennis. There hasn't been a
tennis coort used in Archey Road
since I don't know whin- We have
thin. iv coorse, but no wan uses thin.
They're always full " tn weeks
Washin' or somebody's beatin carpets
IN thin. OF tn COW is lynn down in
thin. In this part iv tn wurruld lawn
tennis uudden't be recreation for us
afther tn 1abors iv tn week. Afther
jugglin' steel girders FIR six days a
man needs a hard days rest, an he
gets 1t be running, two-mile races,
playin' futball fr fou hours at a time
or hoistin' Fights iv beer with wan
hand. But lawn tennis must be a
grand tough sport or Tfddy Rosenfelt
,U1I6do hkp n am QOin' fn 96-
wise tn young hammer tossers an
shot putters In this sportin' neighbor-
hood to white wash thier overalls an
take 1t up. 1t must be a good heal
thy exercise whin a man thurly tired
out, an If ye'er opponents game don't
suit We. tn net is niver SO high that
We can't jump over it. TIL way it's
played IS that wan man In white flan-
mel pants knocks a ball at another
man in white iannel pants, an tn
other man Cor LADY, knocks it back
an' Clarence sinds It over again an
Percy returns it to him, an SO on till
it's time FIR a dish iv tea. That's all
I know about 1t, but it sounds exciting.
tnnyhoW. in his here test iV brute
strength, manly courage an mental
cunning, tn pa-apers say Tiddy Ro-
senfelt was no match fr tn bishop.
His grace give him his blessing an
half-ffteen WHATEVER that is, an
hate him till he was black an
blue. acCordin' to tn pa-apers.
But I don't believe it. 1t amt thrue.
IT'S a device w. tn p%lutocratic press
to discredit our foremost athlete, not
vince me that Thaydore Rosenfelt
isn't tn greatest all-round, give-or-
take-ten-pOundS lawn tennis warryor
iv tn wurruld. He cud bate all tn
bishops between here an Connought
an throw in tn college iv cardinals
p-ifh fhtpo If oon'f no f1r,,a VIII
iver heerd iv a bishop playin' tennis,
anyhow? I'd as lave believe that
wan iv thin was seen goin' down to tn
cathedral on a motor cycle, Or that his
grace iv New York had won tn humid
herd yard dash at tn Gallo Ameri-
can games. There must be some place
where we'll have tn best iv tn clargy.
If they're goin' to jine in our sinful
sports, an bea us at thin at that,
where do we stand as sinners? If
they are goin' to come down an teach
us tn evil iv our ways iv lobbin' what
are we goin' to get out iv life, says I.
How am 1 goin' to be sorry FIR tn
things I do, if they're right? No, sir,
It amt thrue. Tiddy Rosenfelt is still
champeen lawn tennis player, an I'm
gotn' to post twenty-five dollars with
tn spoortin' iditor iv me fav'rite
bishop Nv Canterbury in a limited
number Nv rounds, or to a finish pray
ers FIR success not barred
eff he'd been beat at lawn tennis
he'd be in retirement now an his
resignation wud be in tn hands iv
Congress. Instead iv that he is out
West sayin' a last fond arewell to his
fellow citizens. A few months firm
now he'll retire to tn peace an quiet
Nv domestic life. An to cillybrate his
retirement he's made a hundherd
ringtn' speeches, shook lands with five
hundherd thousand citizens an kissed
a millyon babies. An whin Thaydore
Rosenfelt kisses a baby, thousands iv
mothers In all corners iv tn land hear
tn report an tn baby knows it's been
kissed an bears tn hon'rable scar
trough life. Twintv years firm now
tn country will be full iv young fell
lows lookin' as though they'd grajated
firm a German college.
It's been a sad occasion, this lave
takin If a faithful servant to his sub
jicks. At tin o'clock tn prisidintyaI
thrain-comes in to tn deepo where a
vast assimblage iv sorrowin' people are
gathered. They show their grief be
sobbin: Good boy. Tfddy.' We want
We again Down with tn Trusts an
other signs iv grief. AS he stems off
the thrain a band PLAYS: I cannot
make my eyes behave an a crowd