davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17
GLOBE SIGHTS.
[From the Atchison Globe.l

[F'rom the Atchison Globe.1
If a loafer would only take a hint as
readily as he takes your time.
If your enemy attends to his own bust
ness, you probably call him selfish
In the long run the undertaken gets
the best of the argument with Chris
tan Scientist.
If woman should trim a work bas-
ket and wear it as hat, she would at
tract no particular attention.
The average war cloud doesn't cause
much trouble, but it is fully as warlike
as a peace conference is peaceful
It is sometimes the case that people
speak well of the dead, not to be
charitable, but because they are afraid
of ghosts.
If you want people to laugh at your
jokes, tell them to fat people 1t takes
less to make a fat man laugh than it
does a thin man.
a house where there is a piano, they
nearly always sing Gospel Hymns, be-
cause Gospel Hymns are easy.
The trouble with fools-and we are
quite numerous-is that we refuse to
learn valuable lessons that are as
plain as the nose on a mans face.
A good many people announce they
are going away for the summer!"
then they go away the last week in
July, and return the first week in Aug
ust
There is very little going on that Is
discreditable that those who never at
tend a full dress affair in their lives
can't manage to blame on Society.
The girls who are looking for ap-
propriate texts to hang around the
house might find this a good one to
hang: either in illuminated text, or
burnt wood over the average family
bookcase: "A Waste of Time
What has become of the old-fash-
toned morning glories that spread a
pest of purple, pink and white blooms
over porches and fences every morn
ing? Is it possible that in getting rid
of them we have destroyed the nest
egg?
When a woman tells young man
that she has a young lady, she wants
him to meet, his first question Is rs
she pretty?" And the answer nearly
always is, mo. but she is terribly
bright Every homely girl is terri
bly, bright
The 4Atchison brakeman who said
he would be married at the Airdome,
If Manager Ernst would find the girl
has been placed in communication
with an out-of town girl, who is will
ing to try the experiment. The brake
man has taken his mother into, his
confidence, and q another bra KEENAN,
says: His mother will show that girl
where to get of at.1s f--.s-zs
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17
AYHAWKER JOTS

The Oberlin Eye is starting in on its
twenty-fifth year, and is able to see
as well as ever without glasses.
Medicine Lodge had a strike last
week. The employees of the local hotel
struck because they had to carry
water.
The man with the shears rejoices to
note that Mrs Jarrell's Home De-
partment" has reappeared in the Hol-
ton Signal.
A Leavenworth man tried whisky
as cure for rheumatism, but he ov-
erdid the dose and it cost him ten dol
lars in police court.
The Leavenworth Times has a rad
ish IS inches long and two peppers
over foot in circumference. That
combination ought to give Dan An
thony strength to make it hot for the
trusts.
The veterans at the Leavenworth
soldiers home were treated with
thousand Georgia warermeIons and
$500 Georgia -cantaloupes. 1t re-
minded them of Marching Through
Georgia.
1T is folly" says the Holton Signal
ito try to get another woman to ac-
cept your religion, your family doc
tor. or your recipe for jelly making
This sounds as though nobody but the
women folks have religion ~and~family
doctors.
1t sometimes happens that two peo-
pie of the same name, but not rela-
tives, are united in marriage, but
down at lola two men of the same
name married a girl of the same
name. Probate Judge J. B. Smith
married VIM. Z. Smith and Miss Ella
Marie Smith. '- ra..c- 1coi = d 4
1t is no great wonder there are a lot
of applicants for the place on the dts
trict bench made vacant by the resig-
nation of Judge Stilwell. down in Neo-
sho county. Judge Stilwell has held
the job so long that no other lawyers
have had chance. He has been judge
for "a years H@9
Atchison Globe: Market gardening
is not such an insignificant business; |
Dan Lynch sold $26.15 worth of stuff
to one grocer today. Speaking of Dan
Lynch, last evening The Globe men |
toned that the day before he brought
2SS cantaloupes to town. Before he
went to bed. last night, six grocers
called him up by telephone, and want !
ed him to bring them cantaloupes.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
rFrom the Chicago News.l

From the Chicago News.1
You can't push ahead by patting
Yourself on the back.
If YOU would tell a man of his faults
use a long distance telephone.
+. Few men look gift horse in the
mouth because they never have a
The more popular a man is with him
self the less popular he Is with other
people.
If YOU don't believe the world is daily
growing worse ask the oldest inhabit-
ant.
At the present stage of the game the
widows mite isn't in IT with the Wild
ow's millions.
Woman will never rank as mans
equal until she can read and explain
the report of a baseball game.
1t isn't easy for a man to keep cool
when it is up to him to choose between
the fryingpan and the fire.
Probably some man whose wife re-
fused to laugh at his alleged jokes was
the first to discover that women have
no sense of humor.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17
MIR. sTuBRs, POSITION

If Stubs is a candidate for govern
| or why don't he say so? The Square
Deal crowd is always very indignant
If a candidate does not come right
out and say where he stands, but Mr..
Stubs seems to be hiding in the
woods. There are many reasons why
Mr.. Stubs would make a good gov
ernor. He knows the state; he knows
men; he is frank in most things and
while all do not agree with all he does
and says any more than all agree with
what any public man does and says,
he has a great many admirers in this
state who will be glad to support him.
But Mr.. Stubs should act as he de-
mands that others shall act-and be
frank with the people as to his can
didacy. Are you a candidate. Mr..
Stubs? And for what office abb
lene Reflector
There are others besides Mr.
Stubs enemies who would be pleas
ed to know just what he proposes to
do. His friends-most of them-are
anxious for his consent to be a guber-
Material candidate.
Yet the Lawrence statesman can
scarcely be accused of insincerity In
the matter, for he has frankly stated
his personal desires. He says he has
no ambition whatever to be governor,
but he would like to go to the United
States senate. And there you are.
He does not know whether he will be
a candidate for governor or not 1t
depends.
Meanwhile Stubs is travelling over
the state making occasional speeches.
and IL It is of interest to other candi-
dates. either for governor or for
United States senator, the State Jour
nal would give them a tip that he
is leaving tracks as big as an ele-
plants. Wherever he goes he leaves
a large quantity of enthusiastic Stubs
sentiment behind.
There was an old settlers celebra-
ton at Jewell City last week, at
which, 1t is said, was gathered the lar
gest crowd ever assembled in Jewell
county. Mr.. Stubs spoke for an hour
and half and people listened. He
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17

time this summer and see how it felt
to be rich, so Just came down here. .
with the purpose of marrying a
rich girl, / suppose" interposed his
wife, struggling to regain her COM
posture.
TO be frank, that was my pur-
pose" admitted Fairchild laconically.
Dlunt you come here with the de-
sign of making a good match ?'' Mrs.
Fairchlld nodded. We'll" continued
ner husband brightly. I'VE have both
drawn blank in the marriage lottery
SO far as money is concerned, haven't
We! We are. married. nevertheless,
little woman. Let us be happy, any
way
Money isn't everything, Law
renee, whispered Mrs. Fairchild ten
derry; we've had our good time, and
rlghted, 1907, by Homer Sprague.l
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17

did little visiting. yet when he went
away people were for Stubs.
Stubs would doubtless prefer to
Keep out of the gubernatorial race,
out he wants his kind of a man nom
mated. Then he could give his. en-
tire energy to looking after members
or the legislature-in which his per-
sonaI political interests are conferred.
whether he becomes a candidate for
governor depends upon whether he
can avoid the draft made by his ad-
mirers.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17
hidden Treasure in Bible.

"It's awfully dangerous" said he,
hiding your money away in book.
hut if you must, hide it in a Bible.
Nobody ever looks in Bible, you
know. Once I was visiting at a house
and happened to pick up an old Bible
living on the table and turned the
leaves over carelessly. What was my
amusement to see drop out from be-
tween two pages a $40 bill. My hostess
was not less amazed. She couldn't
remember putting 1t there. She
thought 1t had perhaps been put there
nv her grandmother, who had long
since dted.'-New York Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17

the anarchists don't stop their abuse of
Roosevelt, some of these days this old
moral. religious, political and intellec-
tual guide win get mad and flop over
to Roosevelt for not only another term
but will put up at its mast head his
name as our choice for 1912"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17
REFIEcIoNs OF A BACHELOR
From the New York Press.l

LFrom the New York Press.1
People can be good II they don't
know what fun is.
A girl will never let you kiss her
except when she says she won't
One reason a girl doesn't like auto
mobile riding so much is a man can't
run it all the time with one arm.
A woman waits for a man to pro-
pose. but after they are married she
waits a good deal more for MIN 20
come home nights.
What's the use of having family ar
guments when you can get almost as
much noise by going to Niagara Falls
without working so hard?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17
KANSAS COMNENT
BEFORE AND AFTER.

I
! There was once young woman
who had nothing to do all day long
put TO keep dressed up and play on
the piano and read the magazines ana
osophical things about the art of re-
tanning youth, and the best preserva-
tive for the complexion.
Whenever she heard any one COM
and prattled about the charm and
beauty of that season, and talked
vaguely about the roses, and the
breezes being waited through the
whispering leaves. and all that kind OF
thing. 1t sounded very pretty. and the
girl, who wore the thinnest and fril-
Hest and coolest of dresses, and who
never stirred enough to get her hair
out Of curl looked the part to perfec-
tion. 49,
Then she got married. For, a few
years she lived a sheltered darling
kind of existence. and had such good
help she was able to maintain the
same serene summer role. But 1t did
not last. She awoke, as all dreamers
must. and took up life in earnest, in
stead of making believe.
With her added cares and response
b1lity she learned a few things. She
found that the summer season did not
mean putting on a pretty summer
frock and swinging in hammock. It
meant work dress, and apron, and
stringy hair, and sweat, and all of the
arrogant youth had taken no cogni-
zance.
1t meant setting traps to catch mice.
1t meant messy11dabs of fly paper ON
the dining room table between meals.
1t offended her esthetic taste, but 1t
had to be. And she was too busy pull
ing ants out of the butter to talk very
much about the whispering leaves,
and too fully occupied with the tur-
pentine bottlesin her mad spirit of ex-
f1On n thought
the scent of the roses. rs-
Yet she was not unhappy. If some
times, with hands plunged in the dish
water, she thought of that part of her
life when she had not known there
were such undesirable things in the
world as ants and flies and other in
sects, 1t was not with regret. Rather,
it was with thankfulness that she had
the care-freeness, and that all of life,
even the unpleasant things, were be-
ing handed her, with which to round
out her character.-Myra Williams
farrell.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
HOME NEWS WHILE AWAY.

Subscribers OF the State Tournal
AWAY during the summer may have
the paper mailed regularly each day
to any address at the rate Of ten cents
a week or thirty cents q month (oy
mail only. Address changed as often
as desired. While out OF town the
State journal win be TO you like n
daily letter from home.
Advance payment Is requested ON
these short time subscriptions, to save
bookkeeping expense.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17
The same Thing.

Governor Vardaman of Mississippi
said in Jackson of a somewhat malodor-
ous CORPORATION: "I believe in charity
and I refrain from telling outrigha what
1 think of this concern. At the same
time. 1 don't mind going as far as the
man who lost his purse in the club
smoking room.
"'Did you say some one asked this
man. that Crooke stole your purse?
oh. no. Oh, dear no. was the reply
It didn't go anything like as far as that
I merely said that If Crooke had not
helped me to look for the purse should
have found it +"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17

Secretary Taft Will not resign from
the cabinet to run for president but
he will run just the same. A man
named Shaw once resigned from the
cabinet, and he will not run for presi-
dent-with the emphasis on the mot"
Resigning from the cabinet is not
necessary to entrance into the presi-
Dental free-for-alI.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17

The Holton Recorder proclaims that
It is getting wrought up" and it Ut
tiers this terrible threat: IF the Rookie
fellers and the Haywoods and the Fora
kers and the organs and the Harrimans
and the standpatters and the trusts and
The corporations and the socialists and
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17
FRON OTHER PENS
WORLDS DEBT TO FULTON.

Exactly a century has elapsed since
the CIermont left New York on it's
historic voyage up the Hudson, ac-
cording to some authorities. though
some writer's have fixed upon August
A. 1907, as the date, and other on
August IL and August II, with per-
haps the weight of probability in
favor of the last named day. What
ever the exact time of the trial, this
season is appropriate for recalling the
work of Fulton. He had devoted his
inventive talent to several other prob
lens before he took. up those the
solution of which gave him his
greatest fame Other men had in a
measure anticipated him, and with
promising results. While he was yet
in Paris the screw had been employed
by John Stevens of Hoboken to, pro-
pei a pleasure boat. Fitch in this
country and Miller in Scotland had
tried paddle wheels before him. His
means if not his courage, might have
been inadequate to a final triumph. but
for the friendship and practical aid of
Robert Livingston. Nevertheless, it
was FuIton's perseverance and in
genuity which first convinced the
world that steam navigation was not
only practicable but likely to become
commercially prof1table.-New York.
Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17
A DIFFERENT DAVE.

We notice that Dave Mulvane has
Missouri Pacific Railway company
the other day. for $4,000, for damage
to stock which he shipped to Kansas
City. Surely, Dave, this is the most
unkindest cut =. of all" -Atchison
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17

Mr.. Bryan has been asked. What is
a Democrat?'' Doubtless he wonders
why the inquirer doesn't use his eyes
when a distinguished citizen of Lincoln,
Neb.. is in the neighborhood.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17

Mr.. Grattan, as state railroad attor-
ney. advises the railroad board to let
other states fight out the two-cent fare
question before it does anything about
1t in Kansas. Yet Kansas people sup
posed they were paying Mr.. Grattan
$500 a year to help in just such fights
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17

II the Vancouver party is really Guam
Nrell, Major Beck arises to suggest that
he come back and match his record
with that of Harry Orchard for the
reputation of being the most cruel and
heartless murderer in existence.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17
REFORM WANTED.

The attention of Kenesaw Mountain
Lands, Attorney General Fred s.
Jackson,I President Roosevelt and the
rest of the reformers is called to the
fact that it is too hot out in this part
of the country and the people@are suf-
fering a hardship from tt.-Salina
Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17
In 1850.

Mr.. Hasitall-What are you children
going to do today?
Miss Hasitall-Oh, guess I'll take the
a!rship out. 1 want to go over Wall
street and drop bags of sand on the
curb brokers.
HasitaI, Jr.-Pm going to take the
submarine boat. / wan to zee If l can
find our ancestor who fell of the May
flower. HIS
steve Hasitall--I'm going to. take tie
auto-boat.
Helen Hasitall--IIn going to take the
auto They have Just made new
speed law and l want to be the nrst
to break it.
Ben HasitaIl-:I'm going ho:se back.
Baby HasItaI-Thfre nothing left
for me. 1 guess I'll take walk.-Iife.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17

It Is said that alfalfa seed may ad-
vance in price, and alfalfa seed is al
ready worth it's weight in gold. The
farmer with alfalfa seed for sale will
be able to afford another automobile
or two this wear
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17

King Edward and Emperor Franz
Josef met yesterday, but the report
that they formed a kings union and
will strike for higher wages and
ehorter hours is probably erroneous.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17

Now that the Georgia legislature
has dfsfranchised the negro, the few
white Republicans in that state will
have a monopoly on the Georgia dele
CATION to the Republican national
convention
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17

An exchange notes that though the
Spanish war ended nine years ago the
Rough Riders are still capturing the
offices. In other words, no Rough
Riders preference law is needed at
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17

Those messages from Mars that
some of the astronomers promised US,
appear to have been delayed in trans
mission or else they have been caught
in the strike.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17

Query: If the state now deposits
nearly million dollars in the banks
to bring into the state treasury about
three per cent interest. what was it
worth to be state treasurer before the
depository law was passed?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17

Thus far the Standard has not ex-
hibited any frantic desire to pay its
hne and have the matter over with.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17
THE wH1TE PLAGUE.

In Kansas three people out of every
hundred have consumption. Aston
ishing? We should say so but what
are we doing about it? Kansas is a
plague is more deadly than any war
ever was or ever will be. We must do
to consumption what we did for yell
low fever-LaWrence Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17

Still, II the Alton is given an i'm
munity bath, 1t will not be with the
water that Mr.. Hartman put into its
stock.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17

The strike nicrobe is apparently
very prevalent and the disease IS
spreading. The financial doctors
should fix up a remedy to head it off.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17

A few months ago work was stopped
on the Topeka & Northwestern be-
cause, it was asserted, of drastic legis-
lation." But now the work is going
ahead Just the same.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17

Notwithstanding President Roose-
velt's example, pitching hay does not
appear to be a popular avocation-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17

The telegraphers' way of striking
appears to be to strike first and order
80 afterwards.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17

Harry Thaw Is to be tried in January
Bring on your jokes about the january
Thaw.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17

Mrs. Mary Baker-Eddy sayss vile
she vas yedt a schman childt. she
cured all kindss NV diseases, und her
medicine case condained holdings but
harmless pills. A commission ISIS now
attempting to proof dot she ISIS now
laboring NIT a case uf harmless nuts.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17

Id ISIS recorded now dot der gofer-
mendt will institoot proceedings to
make Hartman talk. Der gofermendt
will bleas dake notice uf der feet dot
money talks. und dot der fiddle col
lection uf dough held by Misder Har-
riman hat nod peen ENTIRELY silendt-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17

Cheer UP. The White sox win once
In awhile.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17

vich ISIS yelling. 81 gocher number" Id
leafs a pleasant taste in the face uf
der drifer. Den chances ISIS den to
vonce, der cop ISIS lying. Der oder
chance means a small fine und a after
tismendt fer err abilidy uf der macheen.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17

Brince VI. lade uf Corea, vich vas
comdemnated to behead-ency py der
Chabanees. ISIS in Moo York, we're his
head ISIS reasonably safe, und oop to
der hour of going to Dress he hat nod
issued any stademendt to der effect
dot he vas awful homesick
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17

Der goil vich geloped NIT der family
preacher in Moo York resendtly, iss
now breacherless. und in a sanytarium.
Der preacher ISIS sdill ad larche, und
propably unchoying life. From vfch
We gedt a new line on dot sveed!y
solum fought. vich ISIS peddled py der
Cloth. der Lord will look alder HAS
chosen vons"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17
SHE Is' FEARLESS.

Every few days We have reports of
people dying from eating ice cream.
But the summer girl is a brave person.
and there is no diminution in the de-
mand Tor the summer edible.-Balu-
more American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17

Notwithstanding der tellygraft
strike. a lod uf unimpordant noos
geds in der bapers. Among It may be
cited der repordt dot Stanford Vite's
vidder ISIS going to gedt married come
time, und der tennis champeen iss
coming home from abroad. Also dot
a vomans 112 vearss oldt, danced on
her birthday.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17

Be i'd opserfed dot der purse uf
$500 gifen to a Misoory vomans vot
safed train from going trough a bum
bridge, vas made oop among der pas
senjares only. Der railroadt combany,
howefer. deserts credit fer nod max
ing her cough oop per cendt uf der
net results uf dot chack-pot.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17

Dere ISIS lods uf tings am suffering
to know, but 1 will nod ask der Ma
hatma abound UNI. Ut he hafndt got
troubles uf hiss own. he will hat soon.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17

Dose Armenians vich hat been kill
ing und cutting oop DER friendts hat
no oxcoss to offer vich will satisfaction
der law. VI dey had cut oop der vic
Tins names unstead uf DER carcasses.
dere would hat peen some sense to i'd.
Von's name vas Haitonguesn MAN.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-17

A dispadge from Saindt Looey sayss
dot Lord harrington. vich hat been
sentenced to life umprissonmendt. ISIS
sullen. My, my, how stranche dot he
ISIS nod chusd bug-house NIT choy.