The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1907-05-10
TALES AND ENDS.
BY ALLEN PAYNE.
WRITTEN FOR THE MIDLAND JOURNAL.

D1 aA1LlAN L "A rIs'
WRITTEN FOR THE MIDLAND JOURNAL.
Black sheep are not followers OF the Lamb.
The secret of life-Talk about things You are not
supposed to mention.
1t is one of the easiest things for the devil to
pick out his friends.
When an editor imprints kiss it is usually
Miss print.
The seed sown of kindness is often last years
product
When man gets as stubborn as mule he makes
an ass of himself.
Don try to serve your milk of humane kind
ness with a cheese knife
As was going down the road.
met drinker with a heavy load
His legs all curved in peculiar twist.
Thinks 1, old boy. you're coming to this
Fool in the straw,
Haw, haw, haw.
You're leaving your hay,
Ha, no, ha.
Look about you run about,
You We got bad flaw;
You'll get it in the neck.
Like the turkey in the straw
HANDKERCHIEF FILTRATION TO DATE.
Wiping the eyes You re always in the way.
Wipirg the mouth-Youre sweet enough to eat.
Wiping the nose-Go, blow yourself.
Swinging in the right hand-How about joining
the tamitS circle.
Sticking one corner in the mouth-stop chewing
the rag.
Drawing across the neck-You'll get it.
Holding across the knee Better propose.
Crushing in the right hand-Time for squeeze.
The dead beat always has desire to cabbage
things.
When man gets too fly the girl should have air
sufficient about her to send him kiting
There was a man in our town.
He so wonderous wise;
He invented wings-hs gently flew,
Away to yonder skies.
Says he, I'm now satisfied,
For years I've vainly tried.
To get the devil to chalk it down.
That Pm an angel in disguise. -
Caws for regret come from most Jail birds.
butcher is a man whose fingers are often all
thumbs and frequently in the weigh.
Joseph with his coat of many colors was probably
glad to get potatoes with the jackets on.
Men marry what, in their opinion, are angles
and then wish them in realms of bliss afterward.
Some blind folks manage to get themselves in
the public eye.
If your folks do make a monkey of you don't
look down on your poor relatives.
The ticket agent is one man above all men who
does things for fare.
The happiest moment in PERSONS life is often
when they are not aware of it.
To the photographer you always as pretty as
a picture.
In mans eagerness for the fruit of life he
always wants the plums from the top of the tree
There are men so close that the hide from flea.
that they would skin. would not make lam
braquin for their mantel of charity.
The dude with his hair parted in the middle is
often put to one side.
1t is easier for camel to go without water for
seven days than it is for man to go through the
eye of a needle.
hand.
Tisn't always the under dog that loses the most
hair.
A balanced bank book is often left stuck under
the door of experience
One reason man jumps from the frying pan into
the fire is because he never locks before he leaps.
A fatty generation of the heart does not make
stout one.
= You must bring your opponent to the scratch
by giving him the itch.
When woman's eyes are red from tears she
frequently looks blue.
AS to the selfmade man there are those who we
would not care to see their finish.
During family quarrel both husband and wife
agree in one thing,-both want to be boss.