Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1907-06-17
Short Stories

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The most popular man in a NeNad'l
town got into difficulty with dlSrepulc
able toug-fCr a long time the terror o.
the pl"ce-and proceeded To no mn up
in marNer entirely satisfactory % the
community at large. II becoming neceS-
saN. However. t. viniicate the maze
If the law. tile offender was brought up
fnr rial on tile charge of assault Win in
tent |" kill When the jury i.ul been
ont about two minutes they returned
We'll. gentlemen Of the lllF, aSt.c.i
the Judge in a familiar. oifhahd W"N'
''Wl;lt have YOU 10 SLY ~
III it Ileases the Court" responded the
foreman. 1--WE the jury. find that the rriS-
one, is not guilty of strilir' with intent
70 ki!i. bit simply to paraiyzF ""i -
done ii "
TTe vas nortal who was much 10 -
pitied, saws an exchange For several
DAYS he Lad suffered rlartydnm irn,a
tnothacne. ana now he hal delivered NM
self :nto the hands o. dentist VINO iaETe
~ ADVERTISED Tie ''painlesstess or lis
operations. ,
Af;er busy five minutes The offen'iins
. nolar was drawn. AMI The victim was Try
Ing to ascertain the extent OF the d''ili'1'
.Is trat what you cali painless" he
..Certainlv." smiled The Wieldcr Of the
forCnps; cit was entirely painless 10 M" mn
painless punch > said the victim: :,
And !rtting his clenched fist hand dwell
for n morrent on the operator !ldSli
organ he v allled out of the house
Tie ethereal Icing with the unSh"ih
locks was shown into the edltolldl sane
tum. says an exchange.
, II hasc written pom on the uoi' lie
said
..W hose doG?' demanded tie editor,
| ferColy :. -,
1T is not on any particular dog, tai-
! tered the pocr.
, ..po ynu mean to say that YOU took adj
| vantage of the dog because II WAS iiot
t particular ana wrote your poem: on II
, IL am afraid that Non do NOT ui,'itI
stand me. I was inspired by tha 20 IL
..lr the dog was faithful. why should
l | Won hart lis feelings ~ writing poem
on it? hid ynu have the poor hlhio
[ shaved and tattoo the verses on u hit'h.
-, ~ diu You bran d them on" ftlldpS
= YOU "
y I,r the poet had fed.
.rLon.os 4 Iiueston. the champion pool
: PLAYER If the world, r'ilitd I" = t"'st on
The Sili"%." ,
a its JOYS. II has its sorrows too Here Is
}. smith vas suing Jcnes. lis next door
.il.hhnr. or ti\r fee Of ground, winch
s he llai,mei had been "ncro"' he'd on.
,. Jnnass Etuver began cross-eXaiiimlhS
a him. ,,n e.,t,,, IN, lawyer said.
NOW, ME-. 0iilllIi, 'i'' - N'''
q dil y.nu q, ,Iid VOC not ten tav client
q last veIr that the FIVE feet of "rHund in
Il question l't lonGed to him
# No! permit nothing Answer ~
i question Yes on NJ. lDih Won ltiI MT,
= Jones those five feet Of - ouAd h'i"rSti
f ":Yce I did.' said smith. desperately
is hut please re,netnber mat tie m"nth WIS
j Ap'il, ard "" We're h"th Wnnki,N II ~.
= lawn mowers at tie time. huh'l" t&-
y press.
ms odG how ones sense Of hHmor will
Il asset Itself even in the lace IF dtns"l,
II ui,st rived John T. Cruise, veteran lai
ar road lcleg"arher. IL The West Slue me
Is Nov there vas Colonel N. Z. Giilctt,
e a n.inin2 Irul.uter in New Mexico in the
> '%s when The Sdnta Fc was JuSt "i"h"":
Il The. Colonel had - fine sense OF hdlnoI OF
II Which our appreciation was heightened ~
e. an inpcdiment III his speech mat cad"e'i
in lin to etutter. One day he had party
"A Of Eastern investors out 70 see SoiH
" mines near Kingston. Ihey We're an
~ mounted on hurroS, AMI when they Were
III On the way back to Kingston band OF
llon.i-t thirsty IndianS took after them. IL
wYs q funny thing to those bnrrc>
LaIInring along the trail, and II relhlnd!d
iu one of Il Jockey race At Il country l''lt
:, Colonel Gillett, unfortunately, nae Il poor
mount. ana for milo or Two NhlIe me
IS chase was g,inI on H. traiied i'l"!A; h"-
I,inu At least one of the mon from ioWl
lg come On, Colonel, or they'll get your
m scalp
N the party Nv Colonel Cillett'
nj "'W-w-v- what d-d-'lo y"u t-t"f' MN
10 me f-f-for? T-t-thinl; lin t-l-tr5 inG 10 t
tt EroW this rae, p
Sc III is needless tc say none of the party
or WaS ScIlpcG. And most Of all. the Color"
n enioyed the hun"r Of the situati"n-'.lt"'
: the danger WAS past. Kansas CITY Star
- chievenent-Stclla-Car she lcep body
he ana soul together Era-Mclp than that
is She cIn Keep skirt ana shirtwaiSt t"Eeth
10 cr-%,w YorI, sun.
r Jark-I wonder what vour father woul,
he say # we "loped? Jill Para mover use
no that KIND Of language before me.-S>-ra
$ Softlv-Id Lave YOU understand, sir
lin thar In not such fool as ! look. Sar
ar cast Well tEcn. Won have much to H.
thau1.fil Ior.-LCuisvIle Courier Journal
ce Grrallinp-Two negatives mix. AN atiii'
We NATIVE. Gerald Fhcn if ! ask you T.
rs marry me pleas" don say no NOR
- thar oncc.-Illustrated Bits.
rs once there was 4 Young Rortian vi,
lad MONEY. SAYS Puck. one DAY h
looked ut lis clothes. Of which i" had
of jH"at many. and h" SOW that the nr|dt
r servant t. ~ ii for HIM. Thrn ne wen
,r downstairs and noticed that all lis manu-
scripts W.T." in disorder. 50 l" iiir1
rs ma, to sort thcrr ont. an1,tn max" las
~, of tFslI Next he went I" IT," 9tahl" an
found ono If His horses SILK 81 \" a~k'
td q man to get him another one" IN" 1the
at horse needed exercise. so Ice cnPaLtd
~ groom 10 exercise thn horse.
~ III looked ~ a puppy which he had an
IN | said "Why. II is time that puIhN VIZ
ny trained ia hnd birds $" Il" s'nt tn
a. InIt,pv away to 4 man to le tlUc1t
!. Then to Went into NE hnmse "nn m III
AS. ed "D"nr me- said he. bow duN It
ne with nntlin" to Do. wish hat s"lre
IA tli'.c t" dn
Il" Tic Roctiars wern barhalianS.