The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1907-06-30
THE. NEWS o
l WILD GANDER.
It Concerned a Doodle Bitted Axe and
a Spook Wild Duck and Cost the
Editor His Only Pay Subscriber.

Il was deeply engaged one day In, the
writing Of IN editorial on the state OF the
country, time was editing that influential
weekly the Geerile Trumpet Blast of Free
DOM said the ex-editor, when a large
and lusty individual, plainly a citizen It one
Of my waybaok constituencies. came into
the Office with such vim and vigor that
knew at once that something must have
gone wrong with the editorial policy OF the
Trumpet Blast OF its news service.
"Be o the editor o. this here sheet'
demanded the visitor, and there was &C
much fire in his eye that / would have de-
MED the fact there and then II circum-
stantial evidence hadn't been 30 strong
against me, 80 l confessed.
"The 'waybsck citizen breathed hard as
he glared at me, and the impending crisis
in the affairs Of the nation against which
but a moment before l was lifting the voice
Of warning to my u%nthinking fellow coun-
trymen seemed to me as but the dawn OF
glorious hope compared TO the crisis in my
personal affairs which was then not only
impending but seemed ready to befall.
THE 'waybaok citizen bJeathed hard
awhile and then he said;
81 come down here from Wild. Gander
W NdAlOP I'LL ldllADhobV JOuf cAhDo - yNNf
an 10 scrunch the everlastin' gizzard outen
you'll But you look 80 sort o. shrunk up an
hungry lookin' that it amt no way likely
that you've got a gizzard wuth while O.
scIunchin' out. an / hain't got the heart
for TO do it,
Owing to a prolonged tightness in the
money market so far as it related TO cash
transactions between myself and sub
.~.sk~.. IL 49, T..., n DJ0sI orraora bod
80 persistently accumulated in my account
at my boarding house that the landlord
had decided that the space ! occupied and
filled there could be placed On the market
at terms more compatible with the tempera-
ment Of a house whose rule was Paw as you
60. 80 for the last two weeks had been on
a somewhat limited diet Of crackers and
cheese. taken from the grocer on advertis-
ing account. my lodging meanwhile being
on a bundle Of PAPER in the TrumFet. Blast
office. =
Consequently there was doubtless some
reason for the personal reflection on my
physical outlook which might be read be-
tween the lines Of my 'vayback visitors
remarks thereon, and ! actually felt myself
rejoicing at the fate that had thus put me
out of condition.
mo, sir said the visitor, L hahn got
the heart TO do it. But you kin stop my
paperl Shet her right of! Danl P. Tuppy,
Wild Camden Ridge. That's my name
an that's my station. Stop her! Shet
her of %kerplink!'
Gathering assurance from this turn in
affairs, ] ventured TO ask Mr.. Tuppy wherein
his grievance lay against the Trumpet
Blast, that he had come to me with such
vindictive positiveness.
"'Grievance!' he exclaimed. producing
from his pocket a well worn copy Of the
last issue of the paper. Grievance! Jest
run your eye over that piece right there!
That leadin' piece in the news from Wild
Gander. G~ollpunked il l hahn half a no.
ton TO wallop an lambaste you anyhow,
gizzard or no gizzard!
Il was fearful for a few seconds that the
recollection of his grievance would be too
much for his charitableness, but he re-
| Tented and showed the paper under my
nose.
Run your eye over that piece right
there. consarn you!' he exclaimed. That
leadin' piece from Wild Ganderl'
'One glance at the piece broug hit it all
back 10 me.
I'm the early part of the week before,
while | was busy working of the outside.
of the Trum pct Blast on the old Washing
ton hand press. a robust. homespun ma
tive carving a new double bitted axe on
his shoulder came into the Office. / stopped
the press and walked forward TO see what
l could do for the visitor, but he waved
his hand and said:
" Don't knock of dom of it fer me.
Go on with your edith. | come In a pur-
noaa far IN gpQ Vol edit '
Il had to smile. Of course. but ] went or
will my edith and the visitor looked
on until ! had edited of a quire or SO OF
my circulation. | could see he wasn't
He had put his axe on the fioer and
was leaning on the handle. ana suddenly
swinging 1t TO his shoulder he gave a rather
contemptuous sniff and exclaimed:
We'll. ! don't see no great Shucks about
it! Talk about edith! Pooh! You want
to come up to Wild Gander some time an
see me slather cordwoodH
i was feeling a little Inundated that this
'wayback citizen should have so small
an opinion Of the power of the press and
but happening to remember that we had
two or three subscribers at Wild Gander
/ thought it behooved me to be considerate
OF this citizen Of that important bailiwick
forward to pay him more attention.
From Wild Camden, eh?' said j. Any
thing new or startling up at Wild Ganderf
why, nothin' as ] knows on replied
the caller. No. Nothin' %p'ticlar.'
! asked him i he wouldn't sit down
and make himself comfortable, but he said
no: he'd nave to be movin' fore long
was jest nosin' round waitin' fer
Joe Samson to git ready fer startin' home
with his OK team an I didn't know Of any
thin with while TO do. 80 ! thought I'd
sort o. drop In here to see you edit a spell.
But | hope you won't fergit to come an
zee me slather cordwood when you cfauce
along 10 Wild Gand, r. That'd give s'n
somethin' to edit into the Trumpet Bl1 {
that'd be a caution 10 snakes
Il laughed and said ] wouldn't forget,
aud the man said Well, good day. and
scuf1ed out. I had pulled OF maybe half
a dozen sheets when back he came.
Com" to think on it, said he. resting
on his a. e handle again. you mowt edit II
in that your esteemed Wild Gander Teller
citizen, Hiram Coodapper, Esq, has laid
In a new double bitted axe, havin' wore the
old un clean TO the helve slatherin' cord
wood. which he's willin' TO bet the apple
fer the house, him to holG his sheer o. the
stakes TO wunst. that there amt no other
citizen o. the Wild Gander country, ner o.