Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-07-20
LONG GRASS RECRUITS

! during this last inland UNDERSTANDING
| cruise that I've just finished" observed 6
petty officer of the navy who has been at
| tached for some time to one of those nava
recruiting outfits operating with moving
| pictures of the life on the ocean wave In
some Of the middle western states. Most
| of these hesitators nudged close to the
! home on the rolling deep that they could
| almost feel the salt spray and smell the
lobscouse. and then. becoming stampedeo
all OF a sudden. they ducked back to the
| tall and uncut like a bunch OF seminary
| girls with red sunshades crossing a grazing
| field and hiking for the fence upon seeing
| mich cow gazing at them three furlongs
away.
The bigger and huskier the lubbers were
| the more sacred they seemed to be at the
last minute. One of them. an Iowa yap
| as high as a Manchu mandarin on street
| flood stills and strong enough to play jacks
with ten-pound dumb-bells wired together,
made backdown and getaway that gave
| the officer in charge of our shipping outfit
the fantods for three days.
He passed the surgeon as easy as a mo-
tor turbiner slips by a garbage scow. He
was so good when he shed his haydn duds
| and went before the physical examiner that
the surgeon only smiled and said What
the use? You'll do after taking little
more than one peek at the big lummox.
But some Of US that were looking on
could see that his gizzard was about the
size Of sand gnat's There was hunted
look In his eye after the surgeon told him
he was all right. and you could almost hear
the cogitations in his maintop while he was
putting on his clothes preparatory to going
before the shipping officer and putting his
name to the enlistment papers.
Take a brace. matey.' we said to him,
encouragingly, seeing that the big Zeks
was edSinR close to collapse w nat
three years? A mere bag O. shells! And
\
gone! Look at the fun you're going to
have! Think Of Paris and Port Said! Just
one grand. Jolly. dreamy smoke for three
years! Unship that think-it-over look an6
take a reef in your forked guessing stick!
The deep waters the thing for you, old
Jack!
well. I dunno s'much about that,
b'gosh, now that I've got this far the big
wouldn't suit me and 1 wouldn't suit 1T
and then what? Say. I'd sure like t talk
1t over ag'in with nav before 1 put my
hand to them binding papers,
I'VE had a hard time bamboozling him
out of that nav notion and we finally. one
of us at each side Of him. nursed him along
through the door Of the office where the
shipping officer had the enlistment papers
spread out. He had the linked pen in his
trembling hand and was Just leaning over
the desk with his tongue lolling out and
his eyes a-rolling, to scratch his signature
at the bottom OF the made-out form that
would hold him for the three years. when
there was a creaking and Gathering on
the road down below. The zap seemed to
recognize the sound.
with the pen still In his hand he
clomped over to the second story window
and looked down. A little old woman in
Paisley shawl and a poppy-littered bonnet
was just climbing out of the farm wagon,
which she had been driving herself.
Its nav! gasped the rube. with an
expression of acute relief on his map. I
guess NAV wants m0r
"A second later the Office door few
open:
And he was in her arms and she was
in his'n.
9TH idee O. my Hiram wantin' t go fr
very idee! said the old lady. addressing
the weary-looking shipping officer. An.
him tn youngest q my eight boys, all o
EN- as happy an content as can be on
been no further away from hum than
Council Bluffs! Don't you dare t tell me
that my Hiram's already been an gone an
jined them scan'alous sailors. or that it is
too late! I'm a-goin' take my Hiram
hum with me right now!'
Madam said the shipping officer. get
ting up at his desk and making Hiram's
mother a low bow. he's all yours. You
$50 she took Hiram by his ham-like
hand and led him down the stairs to the
wagon. and never saw a more Delighted
looking Hiram ashore or af1oat than that
alongside Of his NAV.
And we found plenty Of the would be
candidates for fo'csle hammock numbers
a heap exacting out yonder in the grain
belt With the recruiting outfit we had
an old shellback of a bo'sun's mate who's
been going up and down the seven seas
in the government packets ever since the
days of the old Ticon. and this old jack
was constituted the bureau Of informal ton
to handle the applicants because he'd
promise them any old thing that they'd
ask for.
"'But, look a-here. mister. reckon I'd
Kit seasick, never havin bin on tn water
In nuthin' but a skift before an I've
heard tell that seasickness Is orful bad.
old heavy-weather timber-shtverer before
making up their minds to ship. and then
the old 1atfoot Of a bo'sun's mate would
look at them In surprise:
dentially herding the doubtful ones into
corner SO as to get better crack at them.
I've been goin' t sea, man an boy. In this
line o. frigatss ever -, sense in. was 18th tn size
ev'ry time that I've put t sea, endurln' all
O. them years. I've been a-gittin' seasick;
horrible seasick; sick as a ships cat that's
marine that's double-ironed in tn brig after
four-days' Gibraltar drunk: and that's a
hull plenty sick, matey. I'm a-tellin' you.
An cause wy have l been Seasick eV'ry
time I've gone t sea endurin' all O. them
years? Cause why7 Cause. at tn break
O. tn t'gallant fo'c'sle on ev'ry American
man-o'-war there's hundred-gailon scut-
uebutt-a scuttlebutt matey. Is cask-
filled t tn brim with champagne for all O.
tn hands for'ard that suffer from seasck-
ness And here the old shellback would
poke the Zekes Jovially in the ribs and
wink roguishly at them. That's cause
wy 1 allus git horrible seas!ck ey'ry time l
go t sea-somethin' horrible.
In a little Missouri town a big. raw
boned hired man clomped upstairs to the
recruiting Office and slouched over to where
the pictures of the uniforms was hanging.
He placed a big thumb on a picture of a
chief petty officer. chief bo'sun's mate,
with an anchor and eagle rating badge on
the blouse sleeve of his watch arm, and he
inquired of all of us In general
Hey, mister. eff l go fr sailor with
you fellers, do l git SCOT O. clothes just
like this-a-one t wear right off,?
Pretty forehanded remark. that. con-
lucky with caul all the way from ten to
twenty years to get a chief petty officers
rig-out on his back in this mans navy.
I've been with the outfit for eighteen years
myself, and I'm still wearing the bell bot
toms even If I have got crow on my
arm. Well, the shipping Officer grinned,
and the old shellback who acted as the
bureau of information nodded the turnip
cultiyator into the next room and said to
him.