The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-03-17

1 of all the great mem that is dead, and | for us.' he says, to keep the volume | complete and up to date. That's our aim, and if 0 new great one don't die in time | to get 1t in the new edition We change the thoughts of some that is already dead and in the book. Progress and we aim to please. .s our motto, he says, but the way them worus is debilitated at the word works ain't my way So l went up to the word works and had look around"
 Work works?" inquired MT. Glthorp. The place where they eVlscerate the words" explained MT. Eliph' Hewitt. removing their tails and other Yitals. l went up there an- met the boss of the word contractors-so called because they contract the length of the words-and he was nice man, with poor little word in , one hand and a conductors punch in the other, punching holes in the word to sec how 1t would look way and another. lie had believe by the hind leg and had got it punched down to belev, and was looking at 1t to see if he could punch out any more of it without killing it dead. This he says, is to be one of our ne;-S batch of three hundred Ain't 1t sweet and nice and short? We have high authority for this spelling. Josh Billings spelt it so. Also it is one of Chaucer's dfty-six varieties of spelling IL. We have a lot of high old authorities for spelling it. Shakespeare spelt 1t this way when he was boy. But we will have some that are even better than this in the next batch. There are some you wouldn't recognie unless We told you what they were. Sometimes 1 can't remember what they are myself. Nobody can. That's the beauty of the slmplifed spelling. When we get all the words simplified English will be every bit as good as Greek to most folks"
 ''I told the boss contractor" said Eliph' Hewitt. that the first time l saw that word thru I really did think 1t was Greek, and he shook his head and looked sad That word, says he, was not as good as 1t might be. 1t was one of the first that left the factory. when we had only raw hands to work with and they hadn't got the hang of the machines yet and was nervous. It shouldn't have been sent out to the trade. We should have held 1t back and sold it to some dialect story writer. They like our mangled words first rate and so far they have been our biggest buyers. and if the general sale don't pick up some l guess we'll go in for that trade exclusively and get out a brand of grammar to match And that" said Elph Hewitt, was what made me think that maybe Jarby was not all wrong. This marvellous work of knowledge that I hold in my hands is not dialect story book and 1t don't aim to look like one and sold under false pre- lenses. It is the crowning triumph of the world containing information on ev- cry subject from the Garden of Eden to Amalgamated Copper all carefully in- dexed, including. How to Pare Potatoes Without Waste Hints for Sermons,' The Best Way to Clip Dogs Is Mars Inhabited?' and What to Feed the Baby as well as every subject known to man. woman and MT. Roosevelt. The whole book. including the handsome allegorical frontispiece. only 8, the equivalent of which amount in all the moneys of the world Is found on page 5SO, together with the metric system and how to tell mans height by measuring his ear. If you like" he added, T will write down yo'Ir order now"
 MT. Gilthorp took the sample copy and turned the pages. TT that appendix onl wasn't simpie spelled" he said doubtfully.
 Every subject under the sun fully treated" said Eliph' Hewitt. land a com plete list of the three hundred simplified