Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-09-02

IN THE DEEP WOODS. :,
leges, or who had Good Things which
they wished him to back with much
Coin.
At last, in order to escape the wear
ing sound of the Ticker and get the
Hard Knots out of his Nervous Sys-
tenn. he ducked away to the Country
to Europe.
He struck 4 Rest Cure, where every
one dressed for Dinner and Il full Or
chestra tore off Popular Music. He
saw the same Mournful Faces of the
male and female Plutocrats who were
trying TO purchase Enjoyment at so
much per Day, and they did not seem
to have tranquillizing Effect on him.
So he wandered away from the Hotel
and took to a quiet Country Lane, and
soon he was in the Deep Woods.
The Silence was broken only by the
Rustic of Leaves, the tapping of the
Woodpeckers and the occasional Stunt
of some Feathered Warbler.
This is where Man really belongs"
an artificial and profitleSs Life we lead
there among the Sky Scrapers. Our
Little Existence is rounded off with n
French Menu and a few lines of Bro
mo-SeltZer in the Morning. We toll
for years trying to get the Hammer
Lock on Fame, and when it comes to
a Cash-In nobody knows whose Funer-
q II ic 10 UNpnIlnHr 4 RI
get out of the Way"
While he was thus Meditating he
came to Il Clearing in which there was
u humble Shack with u dinky Little
Garden behind it. In the Doorway of
the Modest Cot sat RUDE who wore
| a heavy Fringe on the Sub-MaXillary.
Above his Head doomed the symmet-
rical Morning Glory, and the fresh
! smell of the Greenwood was mingled
with the pleasing OdOr of the Store
Tobacco he was smoking, the while he
spelled out the Long Words in q News
paper.
There's a Three-Sheet of Content
ment for YOU" said the weary Million
aire. Il wish l had his Snap. Moth
ing to do except read about Crime and
watch the Squirrels. No one to call
him up on the Phone No lying awake
at Nights wondering what the Attor-
Iney-General is going to do. When
he's hungry all he has to do is PUT ON
the Griddle, pull few Radishes, and
milk the Cow. No getting roped in at
Annual Dinners. No struggle to butt
into the Headquarters of the Elite.
How l envy him.
So he approached the Man behind
the Whiskers and greeted him cheer
fully, for he felt that he would fain
know the Secret of True Happiness.
you have a charming Joint here, -
said the Financier. You seem to be
quite away from the hurry and turmoil
lOf the World
Yes, it is very Lonesome" was the
melancholy Reply. Il should like t.
live on the Main Pike, but Land is toe
high. AS soon as sell my Hogs
hope to have IL Telephone installed
Sometimes three or four Days viii
lelapse after an important PriZe-Fight
Iere learn the Result. This failure t
keep in Touch with Events is very try
ing to one who would be abreast of the
Times"
why should the Outside World Gu
any Ice with you?" demanded the Mil
lionaire. Here you have a beautiful
Sylvan Retreat. The Birds carol il
the Trees. Nature is ever smiling. 70,
are far removed from the carkin:
Cares, the hard Throw-downs, and tn
Bunko Manipulations of the CONNER
cial World Are you not satisfied?'
How can / be when I read here i
the Weekly about n Newport Shindi
where they have $500 worth of Ice
Cream? Why should ride Horsebac