Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1907-10-18
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FIR TWIGS
BY LUE T. VERNON

y " Fly on the Flyer is far better
than fly in the coffee
It's sure sign of rain when some
body borrows your umbrella.
All things comes to him who waits,
but hustle while YOU re waiting.
Well wishing never helped a town
or did it any good. 1t is only action
that counts.
! a peSSimist is fellow with a
bunch of hard-luck stories who doesn't
believe any of them.
Why not refer to Picrpont Morgan
as Depot Morgan? lie owns
more dcpots than piers.
Mary had big fat lamb,
With whiskers white as snow,
Now Mary has five tons of coal
And the wind can blow, blow, blow.
The American hen does a business
of $500, 600, 900 year, and all she
gets out of it is her board and lodg-
ing. She clothes herself
In speaking of turkey. it's Job.
But mentioning of saving four-foOt
cordwOod twice, splitting and piling
it in the woodshed it's-job.
Near as | can Judge, a few daily
newspapers, morning and evening
editions, issued in 4 small country
town, are published solely for the
purpose Of giving work to their car
rierS
n medical paper of Philadelphia
positively asserts that human body
can now be cmbalmcd so rs to insure
Identification three thousand years
after death. That may be SO, but
who is to do the Identifying?
n. II. Rogers, of the Standard Oil
Co. is reported as recently losing
$40, 600, 600 in the Tidewater railway
project in Virginia. Gee! Think of
the amount of Virginia chcroots this
pile of money would have procured!
An Eastern Washington exchange
tells of Il church in a certain town
where the congregation is so small
that when the preacher says dearly
beloved, y the only young lady in the
congregation thinks he is proposing.
Someone with taste for figures
has discovered that the average earn
ingS in Chicago are only 50 a week
and the average expenses 1886.
With the other II cents the average
ChicagOan must find it hard to put
on frillS as true sport.
Having received a copy of a fash
ion magazine, | am pleased to note
that the tlOunce is still double breast
ed and the bust is once more cut
bias. 1t certainly gives me pleasure
to learn that everybody, to be in
style, must be heavily gorcd.
| Lincoln, Ncb., fears an epidemic of
beriberi. u disease which twenty
Japanese are afflicted with. There
are men on Puget Sound who would
prefer the name to be " bury-bury"
and wouldn't t give damn how many
Japanese were afflicted with it.
Little strips of lemon,
| Just Glove or two,
a few grains of coffee,
And seltZer, too.
Another hour of senseless talk,
| Only leads the way,
| To Lets have another nght-cap,"
Before we "hit the hay"
Ex- Mayor Schmitz, of San Fran
cisco. The present Mayor is n gen.
tleman named Taylor, and according
to the New York Herald, he is an
eminent poet. What Frisco" seems
to need for u while, is a Mayor who
has been twenty years a blacksmith
and ten years pugiliSt.
notice in many cities, the Coun-
cilmen have instructed the Chief of
Police to instruct the patrOlmen to
enforce the speed ordinances regard
ing automobiles. Why should it be
needful to do this? What are police
paid for, if not to enforce the laws
and ordinances without fear or favor?
The most economical man l have
ever heard of in long time is that
Philadelphia merchant. who hanged
himself a few days ago to keep from
paying out his fortune in doctors
bills. Hope his act will not be q
suggestion here, just at this time,
while the doctors are on their high
heels.
Political enemies of ex-senator
John l.. Wilson, of Seattle, can say
what they please about him, but when
it comes right down to brass tackS
in political matters, they must ac-
knowledge that old boy John knows
the tricks of the game better than
Methodist Sky Pilot does the long
meter doxology.
1t always makes me tired when |
see women gather at the crib of Il
baby few hours old, and hear
them exclaim that it is a perfect
image of its daddy or mother. A
baby u few hours old looks like a
piece of green cheese with holes
punched into it for eyes, and Il pair
of ears and nose glued on.
The special Irrigation Congress
number of the Sacramento Bee,
should be read by all who are di.
rectly or indirectly interested in ir-
rigatiOn. 1t consists OF forty pages,
with many illustrations, and pic
tOrial cover in colors. The publica-
ton is bound to attract attention
throughout the United States.
The window was q mass of sweet
peas in bloom. The mistress of the
house was looking carefully at the
boxes and shipping off IA few dead
leavrs The old man evidently per-
ceivcd that she knew how, but
perhaps he wondered how so much
lovclincss could come from simple
flowers like sweet peas. My stars.
he said, as he turned away. ef some
pussons was to plant jewsharp it d
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