Waterbury evening Democrat., 1907-12-17
JOKE ON COMMUTERS
Erie Neatly Turns the Laugh on
 It's Patrons.
'NWHAT OTHERS SAY OF Us."

"WHAT OTHERS SAY OF US." Prints Jokes of Passengers About Rail-
 roads Uncertain Service In New
 Time TabIe-Novel Reason For Sus- sestns Change In coweatcher's
 Position.
 Erie railroad commuters whose airy qulps, happy quirks, nimble jests and dapper witticisms anent the slowness of Erie trains and the phlegm of Erie directors have added to the gayety of nations for months past learned re- gently that the Erie corporation pos sesses a sense of humOr all its own, says the New York World.
 In all the months that it's train serv- ice has been made the butt of many jokes the patient and amiable Erie has never talked back. It has allowed country editors, vaudeville button busters, village cut-ups and smoking car entertainers to go as far as they liked. Not until the other day did the Erie give any sign that the humor was being received either in good or bad temper. .....
 The roads December time table is . document unique of its kind. In the time table under the heading What Others Think of Us" there appears without comment two pages of the jests that have been born at it's ex- pense and on following page a blank space with the simple heading Mem oranda." Here are some samples: PUT THE COwCATCHER BEHIND.
 During the floods a few years ago many bad washouts occurred on the Erie, and the trains were run at low rate of speed. When the conductor was punching the ticket of passenger he re- marked:
 Does this railroad company allow pas- sengers to give 1t advice if they do so in respectful ,nanner?'
 The conductor replied in gruff tones that he guessed so.
 "Well, then. it occurred to me that 1t would be we'll to detach the cowcatcher from the front of the engine and hitch it to the rear of the train, for, you see, we are not liable to overtake COW, and what's to prevent a COW from strolling into this car and biting a passenger?''- Magazine.
 REQUESTING INFORMATION.
 When an Erie train stopped rather abruptly between two stations, passen- ger asked the conductor the cause. He replied, There is a COW on the track" and passed on. The train proceeded and within fifteen minutes stopped again. The passenger asked, What are you stopping for now?" The conductor replied, We've caught up to the COW again."
 A motherly old lady. anxious to reach her destination was informed that the train would be somewhat delayed but she concluded to make the best of it. While discussing the probable time of arrival at her station, she asked the conductor, "Who built the Erie railroad?" As he did not know she volunteered the infor- nation that the Lord must have built it. for does not the Scriptures say And God made the beasts of the earth and everything that creepeth on the earth" *-Genesis f. S
 Authors Unknown.
 TIME TABLES.
 At all the shows ridicule is the big hit. The minstrel middle man asks the end man where he gets his funny jokes. End man replies. "CompaTing the running time with the time tables of the Erie railroad."-A Patron.
 PROBLEM.
 If 1t takes five days for the Erie rail- road to transport an egg thirty miles, IS testified In traffic investigation conduct ed in Rochester recently, state approXi- mate age at time of frying for five cent sandwich of an egg laid by middle west ern hen, stored in Chicago for some months and then shipped to the eastern market by Erie.-Newburg (N. Y) News.
 BASEBALL.
 At a recent game of baseball between two National league clubs at the Polo grounds one of the players made an at tempt to score by sliding to home plate. but arrived too late. While brushing the dust and dirt from his clothes rooter in the bleachers exclaimed: Serves him right. Late and dirty, he looks as if he came in on the Erie"
 WHAT HE WANTED.
  tion with the running of trains for certain shipments. the patron was referred to the superintendent of transportation for a set of working tables. When making applica- ton for them. he requested that Erie Joke Book No be sent to him.
 ERIE IMPROVEMENTS.
 Now that the Erie Railroad company has rented s150.O00 a year floor space in the McAdoo tunnel buildings 1t has been an done an gone" painted its freight sheds and ferry houses a dark color, and we no longer see the familiar dirty yell low that illuminated the foot of Chambers street so long. President Underwood re- gards the new shade as more "sootable' to things across the river, where dense clouds of smoke still obscure the scenery, fill the eyes of long suffering commuters and befoul pretty villages. No wonder the Erie poet sings
 ''The poor commuters howl and cuss