davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-09-25
He MADE ONE MISTAKE.
Quaint Persian Tale Of the Tanning of
the Shrew

Quaint Persian Tale Of the Tanning of
the Shrew.
In Persia Il wealthy man will often
have Il friend uf whose society he is
fond living in the house with him. All
dullalt WINS such Il friend To Ally Khan
Il very wealthy and influential mer.
chant of lspahan. who VAS delighted
With his charm and cicNerness and SO
pleased With his services That lie
thought he would make Il Very good
son iii law and suggested him rs such
IL his beautiful daughter SIN WAS
very oNerheariag and bad tempered.
but, thinking that .Nbdullah WIS rather
good ookng. SHE agreed To It They
We're married. soon his friends came
10 congratulate him among them
lIousseAn. Who WIS known 10 haze II
very oVerhcarins and bad tempered
wife He said. Il congratulate You ON
your marriage md then he asked the
bridegroom, Are you really happy
with II woman who Is known 10 have
such bad temperf' - assure You
that she is perfectly charming and
that am perfectly happy" May
ASK how YOU manage IT r
'Geitaiuly" answered Abdullah "Ou
the nipllt of the marriage / went Into
her apartments III full uniform with
my sword on She did not take any
notice Of me but put ON II supereilious
air and made parade of stroking her
eat. | quietly picked up her eat and
cut on his head with my sword took
the head In one hand. the body In the
other aud threw them out of the win
dow My Wife WIS amazed but did
not show ii After II few seconds she
brete into II smile and has been a
most submissive and charmi4r wife
ever since
HousscNn went straight home aud
put oH his uniform and went into the
hafeH The domestic pet eane To
greet him He seized II With the hand
that MIS- accustomed to cnress II, drew
his sword aud With "A single blow de
eapltated It, N the same moment he
received n blow IN the face delivered
ht his ShrcWiSh wife and before he
and aud u third Il can see 10 whom
you have been talking. the lady
Kissed. hut YOU are too late II was
On The first day that You ought 10 have
tIAn,a His
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-09-25
A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH.
The Foreefulness of Native Customs
In Morocco.

In Morocco.
In Morocco The Balcd 81 Maghrab
tile laid of the setting sun Of the
Ar.th-i. the Lex slalionlS is MS much IN
integral par, of the social system us are
life and death The MooIs. 1t may he
said, are frankly brutal They have n
certain rude code of honor 10 which
they adhere when convenient, but
among themselves they devise every
possible excuse for not fulfilling en-
earcmeuts with the giaour
ON HE other hand. they are extreme
lY punctlions in eNaeting full measure
from Europeans with whom they have
dealings. and many stories might he
told showing how Moorish Judges mete
oHt justice 10 their own people 10 the
IetFiIHpHt of the allen
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-09-25
His UnIucky DAYS.

Scented in row on the porch of an
old country Inn. With their chairs
tipped hack, some old cronies were go
Ing on about unlucky days. After all
had given what they considered their
unlucky days n quiet old chip at one
end spoke up
"Aa'll tell ye ma unlucky days. Aa's
fund cot in ma time TINT It's unlucky
tc be struck WI leetning ON II Monday,
or IT, he caicied WV circular saw on
Il Tuesday. or t. tumble overheard on
II Wednesday, or t. be run over by
motor ear on Thursday, or lose II ten
pun note on II Friday, or be bitten
by II mad dog on a Saturday, and hev
nowt for dinner on the Sunday!'-
Ladies' Home journal.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-09-25
n Matter of Doctors.

hfherr were two sisters living In
Michigan, said senator burrows, who
warred constantly about the two great
schools of medicine. One pinned her
faith IL allopathy and the other to
homeopathy
"onc day there was great excitement
in the family Of the lady who believed
IN allopathy, and II was soon an
nounccd that shc was the mother OF
bouncing twin boys
The Other sister camc down in n
hurry We'll She said. now see what's
happened wanted you to hive II
homeopathic doctor After this | guess
you will listen to me
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-09-25

\ BfaoilNu minister gave II seathlng
by bad example and cNhorted MI mem
beers of his congregation not to coiinte-
Haaee hN their presence such II place
of lniauty ns COMFY lslnnd. At this
one Of the church wardcns excltedly
snapped his fingers
Al The close of the service Il member
aeeast,,d HE church warden aud said:
"lIow was that for II scrinoni'
Great, | hope 1t Will bear fruit"
wns The reply.
"Whnt did You snap your fingers
foff"
why. it reminded me that's the
place where LETT my umbrella"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-09-25
At Supper With the LEGISLATORS.

\ drummer stopped mt a hotel In
Montpelier. Vt, when the legislature
WIS ln session. 1t was the headquar-
tiers of many legislators.
At the supper table they began to
call upon each other to pass the food
In this wise: "Will the man from Brad
ford please pass the rolls?" "Will the
gentleman from Essex pass the pieT
would the man from Portland please
pass the butter?"
The drummer had been unable to get
anything. and during II brief interval
Of quiet he turned IL the colored waiter
and remarked. "Wlll the gentleman
from Ethiopia please pass the breadT'
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-09-25
Motion and Heat.

All visible motion when arrested be,
comes heat, even that of running wa
ter If we take two pieces of solid Ice
and rub them together they can be
heated by the friction unlil the melting
point Is reached If wc should pour
water into an ordinary rotary churn
and turn the crank, The mechanical
energy cNcrtcd against the water VIII
be transformed into molecular energy
and the water viii be warmed Ia pro
portion L. the amount Of mechanical
energy expended,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-09-25
Lamb With Mint Sauce.

u WAS walking down an English
lane With an English girl on an Au-
gust afternoon" said Richard lie CALI
ennc The sun shnne through soft
haze. and in the green fields many
White lambs played.
'.Is II any wonder | said, that POI
cts from time immemorial hive made
the lamb the emblem of innocenee?'
''fhe Young girl smiled radiantly.
"1.amhs.' she said, are indeed de-
lightful animals. especially with mint
satfre'n
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-09-25
Sheer Waste of Money.

At the Metropolitan club of Wash
lngton Justice Harlan had introduced
To him n well known New York busl-
ness man. With the apparent purpose
of lmpressing those about him. the
New Yorker rcmarke ed that his income
exceeded 100000. "And simply
have 10 make that amount" he added.
"Why, II costs me $4,000 year to
live"
Dear me-" said Justice Harlan
blandly. "Really that's too muchl l
wouldn't pay tit isn't worth It"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-09-25

They met by chance at an afternoon
Hight lunch At the Bohemia, n literary
and artistic club
"And what" said the one IN the vel
vet cont. IFS your speciality"
81 writ" auiobiographirs Of great
men" answered the one with long hair
"What h yours"
l." was the reply, 'paint Kaphacls.'
New Orleans Times Democrat
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-09-25
Kicked the Wrong Man.

\ Noting married man In Boston met
Il friend Of his bachelor days aud In
sisted Oh his coming home with him to
lunch. His Wife WIS unprepared for
visitors and, calling him aside told
him she had only one dozen oysters
and that when his friend hnd eaten
his quota of four lie must not he asked
Ia takc any more. In spite of his prom
lsc Ia remember. when the guest had
eaten his -four the host pressed him to
tulst more The wife looked distressed,
aud tie friend declined every time the
husband asked.
Later the wife said To her husband:
"lloW could yoa urge him 10 have
More oysters when had explained TO
YOU that there weren't any more9'
I'm very sorry" said the penItent
husband, but | forgot all about II"
Forgot about II, What do you SUP
pose WAS Kicking You under the Ia
BILE for"
oBut Won didn't Kick mo "
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-09-25
hut YOU didntkie. mo"
As She Heard II.

statunIN herring the inscription "kls
met \ housemaid dustIng the room
asked the mistress:
"Shurc. mn'am, what's the m'anin'
of the Writin' an the bottom of thisW
ooh. you mean * ismct' II means
'fntc'
Bridgoi was limping painfully when
Out with her sweetheart not long aft
erWard and alphabetically explained.
"lhalth | hive the most tirrihle corns
on me klsmci Ladies' Home Jour
nal
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-09-25

tends to make one moral. never
heard a plumber swear or exhibit the
least Impotence at any small yexation,
working by the hour. Nothing can
move man who is paid by the hour.
How sweet the flight of time seems to
his calm mind! Charles Dudley War
ner
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-09-25
Too Wiling.

Old Lady On tears, to chemsp WI.
will you poison my dear litllttle Fldo'
Hes in such such agony. Chemist Cpo-
iItely with pleasure. madam Old
Lady Indignantly With pleasure you
nasty, unfeelins man Then you shaut
do it, London Answers,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-09-25
The DiHerenoe.

You are ruled" said II Brton. "by a
lot of vulgar rascals whom you would
never dream of meeting socially, don't
you know"
Yes. replied the American, but In
England you are ruled by lot of peO-
pie who would never dream of meeting
you socially"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-09-25

A colored preacher would never be-
come ordained, being content to remain
Just an exlorter One of his congrega-
ton asked him about 1t.
well It's dis way" said he. when
you's preacher yous gotter have a
tex an stick right close TO 1t, but II
sou's only exhortcr you kin branch"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-09-25

During II huslaing bee In Maryland
two Young people we're missed.
Il Wonder where Nellie and Jim nre!"
somebody exclaimed
\ small boy edged his why forward
and pointing toward the vague dark
ness beyond the barn door, said.
"fhe4're out there klsain' their
sclyes" Iipplncotts.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-09-25
Indignation Unexpressed.

\ letter dictated by an old gentle
man runs thus: Sir, my stenographer,
being Il lady. cannot take down what
think of you. |, being gentleman,
cnnnot express 1t. but you, being nei-
thcr, can readily divine it,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-09-25
A East Irain

Passenger Does this train stop any
where for dinner: brakeman Nah, 1t
don't. Passenger Then | understand
for the first time why 1t Is called u
"fast" train. Judge.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-09-25
Not Charles Gum.

Nov, Charlie said the sweet faced
little woman, before YOU come into
Sunday school, don't you think 1t
would be nee 10 take your gum out
Of your mouihF
"Yessum but It amt mine, MS my
brudder's" New York Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-09-25
Eorcian Born.

English G'rl hear you've been WIS.,
ltlng the States. What did you think
OF the native American? Engllshman
l didn't meet any. spent all my
time In New York -iIarper's Weekly.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-09-25
Morse Still.

"a visitor to ZEE you. sir"
"I'll bet fc wants some favor, 3"
grumblcd Senator Greathead.
Its II lady. sir"
"Ah! That means half n dozen ia
vors"3 Philadelphia Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-09-25
She Knew Him.

She Knew Him.
An architect remarked to lady that
he had been to see the great nave in
the new church The lady replied,
'.Don't mention names; ! know the
man you refer TOT
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-09-25
A Second
ESm eroIda.

When liollister Fanshaw first caught
sight of her she WIS standing nj the
door of a dairy, her hands claSped be
hind her head Her gown of foSe col
ered print accumulated the lines of her
supple figure Her golden brown hair
was gathered i'll "A heavy coil ut the
nape of her neck. Beside her stood IL
trimming milk pail. Its sides cleaning
as the light struck them.
FaushaW paused The roads over
which he had ridden We're dusty and
parched under the heat of the July
sun. and suddenly this dairy set in Its
cool eNpanse of fields, seemed ii most
desirable place Near 10y was the farm
10 Which ii belonged, rambling old
fashioned homestead Fanshaw's eyes
swept il in one comprehensive glance
and returned To the girl at the dairy
doar He decided that nothing short
of a glass of milk could aueneh his
thirst pismoHnting, he tethered his
horse to the fence.
could you tell me the road to Berke
ley" he inquired, for the truth was
he had lost his Way twice that morn
ing. not So much from neglect of read
ing the SignpostS as from Il dreamy in
attention To their pointing fingers, for
the spell of the great outdoors WAS on
him and he rtveled In the air laden
With the mingled fragranees Of wood
and field, the lure of the long white
road Yet now that he had questioned
his dairy divinity he was once more
alert his dreaminess had fallen from
before the girl could reply IN older
woman looked from the doorway, and
il Has her voice that answered him.
SHE MAS plump and kindly with Il
face Ike December apple rudy and
Il bit wlthered 1t was evident that
few visitors passed that NAY. aud she
was urgently hospitablc in her desire
that FanshaW should not only refresh
himself With her bHttermilk hut that
he should drink II in comfort. indicat
In Il bench Inside the dairy WAere the
air seemed like n mountain spring com
pared to the drewsy blaze of noon
without FanshaNs horse WIS con
tentedly cropping beneath the shade of
giant oak. md fanshaw himself
was equally contentcd and Inclined to
linger, He learned that this pleasant
bit of rolling country was the Farley
farm. and in return he Nouehsafed the
information that he had come from the
IIillhrook House, the chief hotel of a
summer colony some eight miles away.
10 ~ '"'>''' ~ e''''' '" t'''' 't'''' "
I'M. 81 ''i'
- 90 49, -
~ W "''ii
-, /" " JN"'' .'''' ~ ~" : 80,
. =, -
VI ~ -" 49,
- ~, =, '''''''i''''
~ = '',''''9
81 ~ = nv ny "''a'' "o
"'''u - : ~ = ~ 'i',s 'o'o''
~
~ '''',' 80
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-09-25
A Remarkable Baby.

= htfhaFNdDTt Bdby.
y teacher disturbed by glgglmg call
cd upon one of the eulprits To tell him
the causc
Please. sill" responded the lad.
Turner says n baby who was fed elc-
plants milk gained ten pounds day"
Turner" said the teacher sternly.
YOU should not tell lies
"Rnt It's true, SIR" reiolned Turner.
"M hose baby WITS III"
The elephants, SIR"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-09-25

Few men have been admired by
their own domestles. Montague.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-09-25
r loored.

One seXton-bo you have mathis Mt
your church? The Other-N0, we have
oilclOth. IIarper'a Weekly
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-09-25
IN TERES TING
INTERESTING
INSTRUCTIVE
"Correct English,
How to use it.
A MONTHLY MAGAZINE DEVOTED TC
THE USE OF ENGLISH.
JOSEPHINE TuRcx BAKER, Eolros.

PARTIAL CONTENTS FOR THIS MONTH
Course in English for the Beginner.
Course in English for the Advanced
Pupil.
How to Increase Ones Vocabulary.
The Art of Conversation.
Should and Would: How to use Them
Pronunciations Century Dictionary.
Correct English In the Home.
Correct English in the School.
What to Say and What Not to Say.
Course in Letter-Writing and Punctu-
alton.
Alphabetic list of Authorizations.
Business English for the Business Man.
Compound Words; How TO Write
Them.
Studies in English Literature.
81 A YEAR. SIND 10 CTS. POR SAMPLE COPY
Correct English. Evanston. Ill.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-09-25
8 The .
Scrap Book

What to Do When You Drop an Egg.
st breakfast party in England
Which ,loscph IL. Choate attended while
lie MIS- american ambassador II young
lady Al his risht accidentally spilled
the contcnts of her plate.
oh, MIR Choate.n she exclaimed, II
don't know what 10 Ito. for I've dropped
iii eer eli the tlaora
III Mere You I'd eaclllc."
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-09-25
Telephone Notice.

EPHDNE AND TELEGRAPH COMPANY
have now built their lines into almost all
parts uf iluntcrdal County and are ready to
rate OF Si9 W per year for unlimited service
throughout the county.
The system now reaches New Hope, Lam
heftvile, stockton. ldell kingwood, Ser
g.antsyille, kingoes Locktown, Croton, Elem
tngton, lhree bridges, Baptisttown, hose-
mont, frenchtown, Milford. Bloomsbury,
Little York, Mt. Pleasant, EyerttstoWn, PAT
tenburg, Quakertown, pittstown, Clinton,
Annandale Lebanon, Potterstown, White
house and Whltehouse Station.
Applications for telephones a. ou1d be made
Ia Charles \ Reading, Frenchtown3 y J., OF
Eugene Wilson, Serpeantsville, n j, which
viii receive prompt attention
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-09-25

hut mo- y quick aud eager ear
Caught up the little meaning sound
Another voice has hreathcd II clear,
And 80 II wandered round
FROM ear to lip. from Hip to ear.
Gnul It reached II gentle heart
Tint throhhed from all tho world apart
And that II hrokel
Frances Sargent psgood.
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1907-10-31
The Gamblers Panic.

Numerous names have been given to
the late financial upheaxal. Il has been
balled "a rich mans panic'' snd .sWall
street panic" but the proper name for
it is "a gamblers panic" SO far, the
banks and trusts companies that have
failed, have ks5on located at the places
where gambling has been carried on in
a most extensive way in stocks Buy
ing and selling stocks on margins is
nothing bat gambling. One man bets
that prices will rise and another bets
that they will fall. The courts in many
states have held that such transactions
are gambling. Everyone knows where
that sort of gambling has been carried
on the greatest extent. New Ysrk
City has been the seat of the greatest
gambling and there the most banks and
trust companies have failed. Then
comes in their order, Pittsburg, Provi-
dence, San Francisco and Nevada all
oi them gambling centers. The banks
that have not been furnishing capital
to gamble on all seem to be safe. 1t is
the banks that have furnished capital
for the gamblers that are in trouble.
Tho: that have been doing legitimate
banking business are all right.
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1907-10-31
Rate Case Went Over.

TUESDAY of this week was the time
fixed for the hearing before Judge Car
land, OF the United States court in Sioux
Falls, in the matter of granting per
manent injunction restraining the state
board OF railroad commissioners from
from putting into effect a 20 cent pas
senger rate in South Dakota. But it
has been continued until December 49,,
as several OF the railroads have not suf
ficent time to prepare their side of the
case by the date originally fixed for the
hearing. When the various railroads
having lines in the state couple of
weeks ago instituted injunction pro-
ceedlngs against che railrood commits
sioners Judge Garland granted tenn
porary restraining order preventing the
railroad commissioners from putting
the new rate into effect pending the
hearing upon the application of the
various railroads for permanent in
junction. When the hearing is held
before Judge Garland, s. w. Clark, at
torney general of South Dakota, and
P.ZW. Dongherty, assistant attorney
general and acting attorney for the
railroad commissioners, will make the
arguments in opposition to the granting
of the permanent Injunction
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1907-10-31
TO VOTE TUESDAY
Twelve States to Go to The Polls
Hot Fight Everywhere.

There will be elections in twelve
states on Tuesday Of next week. In
Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Maryland,
Mississippi and Kentucky a governor
and other state officers are to be chosen:
in New Jersey a governor only; in New
York two associate justices of the court
OF appeals; in Pennsylvania a state
treasurer, and in Nebraska, a railroad
commissioner and two regents of the
state university. In Ohio, Utah and
California, municipal officers are to be
selected, while in New York county "
number OF Judges and sheriff are to
be voted for.
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1907-10-31
TIE UGLY UTEs.
Redskins at Cheyenne River Reser-
walton Cause Trouble.

The tribe of Ute Indians which
more than year ago wandered away
from their reservation in Utah and ere.
ated trouble IL Colorado and Wyoming
by threatening to take the warpath and
raid ranches is reported to have again
broken out on the Cheyenne River re-
servation in South Dakota, where the
tribe was given temporary quarters. At
the request of the interior department
the war department on October "a or
dered troops from Fort Des Moines, Ia,
to the scene of the trouble. The cause
of the outbreak is not known.
Captain Carter II. Johnson, second
cavalry, stationed at Fort Robinson,
Neb., was on Saturday dispatched to
the Cheyenne river reservation in South
Dakota to4use his influence with the
troublesome Ute Indians with a view
to suppressing the outbreak. He was
with the detachment of cavalry which
accompanied the Utes when they set
tied on the South Dakota reservation
more than year ago, and after the
wandering Indians had refused to re-
turn to- their own reservation in Utah,
Captain Johnson conducted She negoti-
ations resulting in their settling on the
Cheyenne river reservation. He has
considerable influence with the Indians
and was assigned to the present task
The report that the Utes had killed
Mr.. Baker, the agency farmer, has not
been confirmed.
Saturday especial train Of thirty six
cars passed over the Chicago & North
western line, carrying four troops OF
cavalry from Fort Des Moines to Get
tysburg, from which point they vii
march across the country to the CheY-
enne Indian agency.
Late reports from the Cheyenne re
servation say the Sionx Indian police
mastered the rebellious Utes before the
arrival of the Fort Des Moines troops
1t is now thought no troops will bs
needed from Fort Robinson nor For
Meade.
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1907-10-31
The Trend to Roosevelt.

Washington Post The only point the
Post cares to make is that Mr. Roose-
velt is subject to the operation Of the
peoples will, like other men. He is the
servant Of the people. If the next con-
vention should nominate him and ad-
journ he would De up against it. He
would have to obey the peopl's will.
And this is very likely to occur, in our
opinion. Events are shaping them
selves so as to make the reuomination
of Roosevelt inevitable Neither he nor
any other person can contro! these
events. If the people want Roosevelt
they will get him.
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1907-10-31
River Transportation is Up Again

Missouri river navigation is to be
stirred up again and in more effective
manner than heretofore, the coming
month. E. W. Judson and w. L. Yet
ter, as a special committe from the
Omaha Commercial club, have been in
Kansas City for several days past
working up system of co operation
between Missouri river points to bring
about improvement of the Missouri
river channel.
Lawrence M. Jones, president of the
Missouri Valley Improvement assoca-
tion, has been invited to speak to the
Commercial club next month on the
problem. Mr.. Jones is an enthusiast
on. the subject, is full of facts and
hgnres showing the possibilities of
steamboating on the Missouri river,
and, in the course Of his campaign, will
deliver addresses at all Missouri river
points from st. Louis north.