Amador ledger., 1907-09-06
MARK TWAIN AS A BOWLER.
6ewiIderins Results He Achieved In
His First Game.

His First Game.
More than forty years ago in San
Francisco the Office staff adjourned up
Oh conclusion of its work at 2 o'clock
in the morning to great bowling es-
adjustment where there were twelve
alleys. 1 was invited, rather perfume
torily and as a matter of etiquette-by
which 1 mean that l was invited po-
litely, but not urgently. But when
efficiently declined with thanks and
explained that 1 knew nothing about
the game those lively young fellows
became Mt once eager and anxious and
urgent to have my society. This fat
tered me, for perceived no trap, and
1 innocently and gratefully accepted
their invitation. l was given an alley
all to myself. The boys explained the
game to me, and they also explained to
me that there would be an hours play
and that the player who scored the
fewest ten strikes in the hour would
have to provide oysters and beer for
the combination. This disturbed me
very seriously, since 1t promised ME
bankruptcy, and 1 was sorry that this
detail had been overlooked in the be-
ginning. But my pride would not al
low me to back out now, so 1 stayed
In and did what l could to look salts
fed and glad had come. 1t is not
likely that 1 looked as contented as 1
wanted to, but the others looked glad
enough to make up for 1t, for they
were quite unable to hide their evil
JOY. They showed me how to stand
and how to stoop and how to aim the
ball and how to let fly, and then the
game began.
The results were astonishing. In
my ignorance 1 delivered the balls in
apparently every way except the right
one, but no matter-during half an
hour I never started a ball down the
alley that didn't score a ten strike
every time at the other end. The 9TH
ers lost their grip early and their joy
along with 1t. Now and then one Of
them got a ten strike, but the occur
renee was so rare that it made no
show alongside Of my giant score. The
half hour and put on their coats and
gathered around me and in courteous
but sufficiently definite language ex-
pressed their opinion Of an experience
worn and seasoned expert who would
stoop to lying and deception in order
to rob kind and well meaning friends
who had put their trust in him under
the delusion that he was honest and
honorable. l was not able to convince
them that had not lied, for now my
character was gone, and they refused
to attach any value to anything 1 said.
The proprietor of the place stood by
for awhile saying nothing; then he
came to my defense. He said: at looks
like mystery, gentlemen, but it isn't
a mystery after it's explained. That
Is grooved alley; you've only to start
a ball down it any way you please
and the groove will do the rest; it will
slam the ball against the northeast
curve Of the head pin every time, and
nothing can save the ten from going
down"
1t was true. The boys made the ex-
pertinent, and they found that there
was no art that could send ball
down that alley and fail to score a
ten strike with it. When had told
those boys that knew nothing about
that game 1 was speaking only the
truth. But it was ever thus all through
my life-whenever 1 have diverged
from custom and principle and uttered
a truth the rule has been that the
nearer hadn't strength Of mind enough
to believe it.-From Mark Twain's
Autobiography in North American Re-
view.
Didn't Get 1t Just Right.
The subject Of profanity was being
discussed the other evening at dinner
party in Harlem. When one of the
guests facetiOusly limited that his host
could tear it off little when no women
were present the hostess became indig-
nant. II would have you under
stand" she said, with crushing dignity,
"that my husband never says anything
before ladies that he wouldn't say
anywhere" She is still wondering
why it was that everybody laughed
New York Tribune.
Yet 1t Was Realistic.