Connecticut western news., 1907-06-06
UNCLE EZRA PERKINS
HIS FARM IS NOT IN THE MARKET
Bub Draws up Some Resolutions to be Presented at the Next Meeting of the Grange

the Grange
 Dear MT. Editor:-Finc growing time. Little lowry to-day, so thot I'd write. Somehow ruther the older get the har- der tis fer me to get time to write to you and nay other nephews. Some folks say that they never saw sech weather and sech a late spring. Land Stakes! I aim t worrying. Ruther hev nay seed oats in a mice proof bin than in the ground now, but we'll get all through sowing by the ninth and that's erly enuff.
 I see there's lots of people selling their farms to city folks and they've ben after our old place, but say, we own every shingle on the house and barn and every thing they kover. It don't make any serious difference whether 1t rains or shines for I've got little laid by fer wet spell, but say MT. Editor, nobody can by this plantation so longas Mirandy and me is on top of the sod because why? Because we're gettin three square meels a day; our meetin' clothes is good enuff, the spring water we don't hev to buy ill The wood pile is split and in the wood shed, enuff fer all next winter and four tons of coal fer the sittin' room stove be- sides; we've got woven wire springs, a hair mattress and feather bed two feet deep; we've got telyfone in the kitchen and a R. F. D. box at the gait. Now say Mr- Editor what more does the average citizen need. Whats good enuff fer somebody what wants to buy is good enuff fer me, who don't want to sell, to keep, and you'll find us at home in Jonesville until the latchstring what hangs on the outside of the door is kov- cred with krape.
 Here's sum resolutions what Bub's fixed up to introduce in the grange at their next meeting.
 Resolved. That enny farmer what leaves his reaper, mower, harrow, blow, hoss rake and other farming implements too numerous to mention, in the field all winter shall be blackballed to the extent of the limit of the blackballs in the box, if he ever tries to jine the grange and if he's in, that he expelled fer non-payment of dues.
 Resolved. That every member of this grange shall make it a point to write two letters each and blow up every path master or highway kommissioner W ho blows on both sides of the rode, scrapes stones In the middle of the rode and leaves them there for more than seven consecutive days before raking them out. And should sed pathmaster or highway Commissioner be found to be a granger he shall furnish, free of expense, to the grange to which he belongs, five gallons of ice cream and five layer cakes all at the next regular meeting after being found guilty of the above misdeeme- maor.
 Resolved, That every member of this grange shall attend school meeting and vote an appropriation to lay new floor or buy rags to stop up the kracks in the old floor. Also paint at least one side or end of the school building so that in four years the entire four sides of the building will be lowered with paint and that the work shall begin right after the 9th of Aug.
 Resolved, That here after every female member of the grange who bakes cake fer enny meeting when refreshments are served. shall have pinned on the same with toothpick, the reseets giving the ingreedyents and how much of each and in lieu of the pure food law label, sed re- sete shall be signed by full name, age and address of the maker of the cake and be sworn to before her husband and if the deponent hath no husband to swear to, she shall proceed>to get one during the next leap year and shall so state her purpose on the back of the cake reesete
 If these resolutions pass I'll let you know. UNCLE EZRA.