Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1907-09-13
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"Why Is Jones growing beardT
"Oh, | believe his wife made him
present of some ties."-Punch.
do you think We should let women
voter Certainly. Why not? We let
them earn money all other ways."-
Life.
$50 she's about to be married again.
Do you know who is the lucky manT
yes, the dead one."-Detroit Free
Press.
The Man-None OF their relatives
will speak to them since their elope-
nent The Girl-They ought to be
very happy couple.-Puck.
II notice your daughter dances with
such graceful, free movements" 'They
amt free; she takes reg'lar paid les
sons. Baltimore American.
Little Girl (after a domestic scene
| with her mother) 1.-The best thing for
us to do, mamma, Is to agree to a sep
aration.-Transatlantic Tales
Duff-Rowell believes in the eternal
fitnes Of things. Cuff-That's so; he
wouldn't run for car if he had a
walking suit on.-Town Topics.
willie Green" said the teacher,
you may define the word memory"
Memory" said Willie, "is what we
forget with."-Philadelphia Record.
do you favor any particular school
of music3" asked the lady. "Yes, in
deed" replied the young man who lives
in fat 81 favor the panlssimo
school. Puck.
Rector (showing stranger the
church monuments My grandfather
has slept in this church for eighty
years. Stranger-Is he llving?-Yonk-
ers Statesman.
/ Mrs. Neighbors-Are you aware that
your new hired girl Is somnambulist?
Mrs. Meadowgrass- goodness, no 4!
She told me she was a Baptist.-Chi-
cago Daily News.
Little Girl (telling of the Garden Of
Eden)-Yes, Mummy, Adam and Eve
lived very happily there till the Evil
One came in the form of a servant
Canadian Courier.
First Little Girl-When you grow
up are you going to advertise for a
husband?- Second Little Girl-No; I'm
going to be- widow. They don't have
to.-Harper's Weekly.
Mother. in-Law-Ha the young man
who saved my life yesterday called
upon you yet? Son-in-Law-Yes, In
deed, he has already made his apollo
gies.-Fliegende Blaetter.
Clara-You may not believe 1t, but
l said mo" to seven different men
during the past winter. Maude-Oh,
don't doubt 1t. What were they sell.
ing.-Chicago Daily News.
Mistress-Whyo don't you boil the
eggs! Cook-Sure, I've no clock in the
kitchen to go by. Mistress yes
you have. Cook-What good Is 1t? It's
ten minutes fast.-Philadelphia In
quirer.
MAY l ask your father for your
hand tonight, Miss Ketchem" Cant
you wait until tomorrow night,
George? think Charlie Chumpley is
going to ask him tonight"
Plain Dealer.
Anxious Housewife (startled by a
, crash in the room below )-There An
other Of my best porcelain tureens
gone. Husband-Never mind, dear; It
has stopped the cooks singlng.-Port-
Hand Oregonian.
Voice from the parlor-Mary Ann,
did you get the milk for the children
and Fido in separate bottles? Mary
Ann-Yes, ma'am. The vOice-lIave
Fido's milk sterilized Mary Ann
Yes, ma'am.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Geek, (who has already wearied the
| guests with many songs) Now l will
! sing you one more song and then go
home. Lady--Pardon me, but do you
attach much Importance to the order
of your gram?-Fllegende 'Blaetter.
"Do you think you will learn to like
your tilted son-inlaw" 81 don't
! know" answered Mr.. Cumrox.' can't
quite tell where to place him In my
expense account. He is neither recre-
alton nor an Investment. Washing
ton Star.
Mrs. Scrappington (in the midst of