Arizona republican., 1907-09-11


 lcoorse and vulgar mateeryalism an lIu pint to Newport. Look at that, says I, an tell me that we're sunk ID lcommercyalism, Look at that an ted ime.' says I, that wealth in tn right hands an tn left can't projooce cul- ture an refinemint akel to annything tn capitals iv Europe can show. Why, says I, 'whin it comes to culture, an lrefinemint, Newport cud give tn coort liv Louis Cans cards, spades. little an lbig cazop, slam tn deck in its face an lbate it rr amy sum firm three to three lmillyon dollars. Ye bet ye'er life on that, says l.
 It's tn grand place. Iris there tn lgr-reat Caps iv Finance hurry whin wearied with tn chumult iv tn mart Ian tn grand jury room to relax their minds be a meal with blue-nOse man. ldril, chimpanzee or an ape. ITS Ithere tn fair discindants iv tn heroes Iiy tn revolution an tn steel merger leone to an arrystocratic clinch an roll on tn flure in a deadly embrace. Tis there that tn rude rebate. tn over lcharge an tn short change, thim Icoorse but nicissory factors in our in ldusthreel divilopment ar-re turned as, Tiff be magic into tn autymobill an tn Ialimony Blessed spot, where gather Ith' signs iv our premachurely o.d families to revel in tn pleasures iv re- lined wealth an belt each other over lth' heads with tn flowin' wine bottle.
 Tt was there than Prince Willum thraveled nachrally an Newport made lup it's mind to rayceive him as become lhis ancesthry if he wint far enough Iback It's too bad ye didn't read it in lth' pa-aper. I've read nawthin ilse frl "a week Glory be. but it's been a line Iginteel scrap. An so excitin. Tn lshindig started whinMrs. Slosh. tn ac- lknowIedged queen iv Newport s'ciety. handed it out that anybody that want Cd to larn whither tn Prince ate with lhis knife or not would have to look Ipretty good to her. Tn challenge was
 bravely took up b- Mrs. Splosh. an. lother acknowledged queen iv Newport ts'ciety. who passed back remark to | tn gin'ral effect that though she'd
 known Alfalfa Slosh since her father dealt faro bank in Butte she'd have to inform tk' wurruld that no lady with least in her eye an much iv her hair
 rented wud iver see Prince Willum on less she peeked through a hele in tn SplOsh fence. Well, sir, that started it. l An now I skip ivrything in me daily pa -aper to get down to tn fight news. Iris tn on'y readin.: 'Mondah: Mrs. Slosh scoored a signal victhry yister- | day be sindin' her former husband to.
 Prince Willum to tell him that if he
 didn't appear at tn Slosh mansion tThursdah mornin' at nine o'clock he'd
 have his head punched 'Choosdah: | Mrs. Splosh had tn better iv yister- dah's manoovers. Be some means she
 managed to convey to his rifle highness
 hint that tn e-plant at tn Slosh's house was full iv Paris green Wins dah: tur-rble affray took place in ! front iv tn readin' room this after
 noonw hich MT. Solosh and MT. Slosh. tn divorced kings iv tn acknowledged | Queens iv Newport s'ciety met ami
 jumped into each other. All Newport
 sciety is wurruked uD over tn dread l full affair. Tn socyal capital iv tn counthry Is divided into two rival camps. Fights are iv daily occurrence lin tn streets. In siv'ral instances hat pins have been dhrawn. So far it is | iannybody's battle "Thursdah: Th'l
 Princes boat appeared in tn offing !
 this mornin' an in tn orisince iv al ltumulchuse crowd iv cheerin' shriekin'
 arrystocrats. tn two socyal queens swan out to meet his rifle highness Both ladies are sthrong swimmers an they were over tn rail about tn samel
 time. A furious battle ensued between
 tn queens but tn supeeryor socyal ad- | dress iv Mrs. Slosh prevailed. Aftherl
 fifteen minyits iv in fightin' she put ! her right acrost to lint iv jaw. This seizin' a belayin' pin she moved downi a body iv marines that guarded tn Princes cabin an offered a spirited
 resistance. Manetime tn craven of- ! ficers an crew had jumped overheard an dhrowned thimsilves. Although tn ! Prince fought with ali his might he |,
 was no match fr hislOvely hostess who i
 swan ashore with him an carried him |
 more dead thin alive to tn Slosh man.
 sion where he is now closely confined ] Admission to sec him is be ticket on'y !
 Mrs. Splosh. though defeated. is not idisgraced. She Is organizin' stormin'i party. which will be wan iv tn ivfnts 'iv tn season. an she declares she will have tn Prince out if she has to blow down tn front wall. But it is gin'rally ] conceded that Mrs. Slosh has rightly gained tn title iv undisputed queen iv |
 our best s'ciety. Noblesse oblige' - An there ye ar-re. It's been gr-reat fight an th' best queen won [ I'm glad Prince Willum has had chanst to see how good We are whin we're at our best'
 Iris tn likes iv thim that Schwartz
 meister says provoked tn Fr-rinch rev. olution." said Mir. Hennessv sDOp'f ya halfax-a SaiI Mr. n1aro,- We cudden't injye poverty if We didn't see tn way other people injyes wealth Iv'ry time read about a socyal war at
 Newport feel less disthurbed about a
 socyal war in our back alley. whin
 ye come to size it up a socyal war is