Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-01-26

either in. their publications or in their con-
ridicule upon English women. In England
they are never weary OF portraying our
women as forward. intrusive, 'twanging,
pushing. sharp-voiced buttinskis in skirts
there is no other word for II. Our Ameri-
can women. according to the British view,
nave no manners whatever. They have no
thought on earth for anything except
clothes and luxurious living. They neglect
their children. fout their husbands. They
all say, Wall, 1 reckon and Dew TELL,
and You betcha life.' and Come of your
perch every time they open their mouths.
They are raucous-voiced, they are bolster
GUS In public, they are. In a word. accord
Ing to the constantly expressed view OF
Parsons
There is a conspiracy. It seems. among
all American girls whose fathers have
made their ptles'-thats the way the Eng
lish always express ito capture MEM
bers of the British nobility as husbands.
Let nobody ever tell you that It is not q
sore. ranking subject with the English
that so many American girls have actually
married Englshmen with handles to their
names. The English would q thousand
ish barmaids than wealthy American girls.
They not only feel this. they say IT. have
seen that statement printed in so-called
high-grade English publications. not once.
then. according to their collective view, is
skirted boor, or q boorine, to coin
word, and her mother Is common. vulgar.
half-witted Mrs. Partington or Mrs. Mala-
prop, whose whole existence. in England.
is spent in a wild and determined effort to
break into English society with the batter
ing ram of wealth.
The American Father.
1.-The American man is looked upon by
the English as a common or garden variety
of the out-and- fool. Having no soul
above the acquisition of dollars. he is.
thnr fAn nh tod 70 nndn and
or appreciate how 'abominably he Is
treated by his wife and children. He isn't
master In his own house He Is slave to
the caprices of his vulgar wife and the
whims of his bounding daughters. He
doesn't dare say his soul Is his own in his
own family. Everything that the women
folk of his family say goes, wv. with him, .,..
them to go rambling about Europe. spend
ing his money like water. while he stops
at home for the purpose of making addi-
tional remittances to them. The reason
why the American father doesn't travel
with his wife and family is that they
don't want him. for. while they have q
thin veneer of polish, he hasn't any cul-
ture at all, habitually uses the double
negative, tucks HIS napkin under his chin
at table. eats tarts with knife, blows into
his soup to cool 1t, clomps about In gen.
eral like q navy, and is, therefore, COM
PEELED by his wife and family to stop at
home so that he won't expose them to hui
initiation by accompanying them on their
travels.
''The wretched unfairness OF all this con-
sists in the fact that they inevitably group
us all together in these delineattons ana
stubbornly refuse to acknowledge that there
are any exceptions among us. Do you know
of any educated American who, by any
chance. makes the idiotic mistake or de-
liberately harbors the error. of supposing
that the 'bloime me- cockney In any way
resembles the so-called high-grade English-
man?
"But the English calmly lump us all to-
gether, without distinction of caste or cuf-
ture, and toss us into the same boat. Every
mothers son of us and daughter or us is
just like the other We all say Col darn IL,
through our noses, and we are all unfinished
spend all of our time talking about how
much bigger we are than any otter coun-
try. We all make weird noises as we par
take of our consomme, and we all say dosh
whang it. the Yew-nited States kin lick any
gosh-blamed kentry on tn face o tn con-
dinged globe, drat 1t all. by cracky!
'The English rejoice over what they call
our municipal rottenness. ANYTHING Pc
country that seems to show them that we In
America are going to the devil at racing
clip actually pleases them.
Sheer at Our Politics.
"They make sneering illusions to Ameri-
cans in England about the state or our
politics. Conveniently forgetting all about
their own gigantic scandals. their unspeak-
able divorce court revelations, their Cleve-
land street affairs, they fairly bubble with
happiness over the details of some scandal
in American society. and delight In pictur-
ing us as socia.ly rotten, degenerates OF a
commoner and more vulgar type than tho
Romans in the closing days Of the empire,
and doomed to a similar extinction.
'All of which explains why am going TO
label this compilation of Pilgrims Dinner
isms 1 am getting together Some Specimens
of Superheated Steam, Vapored by Vinous
Elderly Gentlemen with a Gift for Plautu-
dinousness,' or something else of simple
and descriptive character of the similar es-
sence.
But the Pilgrims can vaporize TIL the
cows come home as the President recently
said of the resulting Senate. They can
talk Of our cousins over the sea- TIL there
is a snow storm by the light of a blue moon
on the morning of some remote August the
first, the fact remains, and I am willing to
leave it to any fair-minded American who.
like myself has lived for several years in
any part Of England IL am not speaking
the truth that the English far from loving,
far from even liking, actually despise ana
detest we Americans"
CLARENCE L. CULLEN.
S
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