davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1907-08-28
4 Clever Deserter.

An army officer who was talking of
the escape few days ago of couple
CT prisoners from Castle William told
several stories of other attempts. fire.
quently unsuccessful, to get away from
Governors island.
lone of the most ingenious that | re-
member he said. took place a few
The man who escaped had been bar
ser before he entered the army, and his
Job In Castle William was to shave and
cut the hair of the other prisoners. He
managed to save enough of the clip
pings TO make false mustache. Then
In some way-it's hard to tell how
those things are contrived-he had a
suit of plain clothes Struggled In to
him. Still he wasn't in any rash hurry
TO get away, but waited TIL a really
good opportunity occurred. This came
to him when a gang OF plumbers were
In the old fort making repairs. One
evening he rugged himself up In his
clothes and mustache. and picking up q
couple of pieces of lead pipe and a for
gotten solder pipe he walked lelsurely
out with the plumbers when they quit
work. Right past the guard he went
without being recognized, and, so far
as / ever heard. he was not recaptured.
l always thought that was really
clever escape rather n theatrical one
too. New York Times.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1907-08-28

The amount of physical work done
by the performers of the circus is
scarcely believable. These people make
the care OF their bodies their religion,
and they will do nothing that mill
tates against their strength or their
health. When the performers rise in
the morning they hurry TO the cook
tent for breakfast Then they must
get into their trappings for the parade,
failure TO report at 1870 involving a
fine of So If the big tent Is up early
the chances are that the arena will be
filled with performers practiclng for
an hour before the parade. After the
street display the performers have
their dinner, and then they must dress
for the grand entree, from which none
Is excused Only a very few Of the
circus folk escape with a single act
Nearly all of them do two and most of
them three acts, for each OF which
they must change their costume. 4
woman performer often works I'm a
gymnastic act on the ground, another
in the air, rides in a menage act or
two and IN the fiat races at the end of
the performance. In addition she will
very probably do a turn" in n con
cert after the show. and she must
change her costume for each appear
-Everybody's Magazine.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1907-08-28
Ocean Heart.

The throbbing and vibration of the
engines of modern steamer have a
most extraordinary effect upon the
human heart. Let IL be said at once
that ocean travelling does not in any
way injure the heart; on the contrary.
It benefits 1t. with the general health.
But the vibration Of the machinery
Is transmitted to this vital organ with
the most extraordinary results so far
as medical examination is concerned.
A ships doctor viii tell you that when
he listens through his stethoscope to
the beating Of a mans heart at sea
Il seems as if every moment the heart
would stop. With sturdy and invalid
passengers It is just the same. The
heart appears TO the doctor as II every
beat would be its last. This being the
case, Il is exceedingly difficult for the
physician TO ascertain the true condi-
ton OF the travellers health. and he
generally resorts to the expedient OF
Singing hls patient in a hammock.
where the vibration Is considerably
.lcssened. though no device can over
some It altogether London Answers.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1907-08-28
RATES ARE IRREGULAR
Railroads Made Gross Differ.
enceS in Tie Shipments.
TO INFLUENCE THE MARKET.
Did Not Want Railway Material to
Go Out of State - Commissioner
Glasgow Points Out Their Mistake
and Roads Will Abide by Ruling.

Lansing, Mich, Aug. 27-An i'm
portant hearing was held before Rail-
road Commissioner Glasgow Monday
afternoon relative to the freight rate
on railway ties on shipments within
the state as compared with the rate
on shipments to points out OF the
state. 1t was the first time that the
railway commissioner of this state
has ever taken formal action on the
rate in force by railways, and indi-
Gates what an important body the
railway commission provided for by
the new law, which takes effect Sept.
II, will be.
Representatives of three railroads
were present and they practically adj
mtted that the rate on intra-state
shipments had been fixed at double
the rate on interstate shipments OF
ties in an endeavor TO control the
market In this state and hold all the
ties for their own use. The com
plant on which the hearing was held
was made by Sterling Sons Co, Of
Monroe and they showed that the
rate on railway ties to Monroe from
points in northern Michigan is double
the rate to Toledo or Chicago.
Commissioner Glasgow suggested to
the railway men that he failed to see
where their tariff accomplished the
desired purpose, and in his opinion
they were cutting their own threats
as it simply barred Michigan dealers
in railway ties. but in no way stopped
the shipment of ties out of the state.
AT the conclusion OF the hearing The
railway men indicated that whatever
ruling the commissioner makes will
be accepted by the roads. Mr.. Glas
gov is highly pleased with the result
of the hearing and the fair and frank
manner in which the railway represen-
tatives discussed the matter With him,
which he believes indicates that the
railroads will meet the new railway
commission in fair spirit on matters
within its jurisdiction.
The commissioner will undoubtedly
decide that the railways should make
the Monroe rate equal to that charged
for other points.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1907-08-28
Why Pa Was Mad.

Farmer Jones. after eating a hearty
dinner stepped out on his porch TO en-
Joy smoke. when he noticed In front
of the house. which was on the main
road. an overturned load OF hay, and
beside it small boy, seemingly in
great perplexity. The farmer went
out and spoke TO the boy.
well. my boy. / see you have had
nm accident. but never mind Turn
your horses to the hay and come in
and have some dinner"
Il can't" said the boy; pail be
mad"
ooh, no, he won't Come on"
"Nope. can't; pan be mad"
"Now look here, sonny. You didn't
mean TO upset that hay There's no
harm done Come right along. and
after you have had something TO eat
III help you to load up again.
The boy consented. saying as he
looked back at the hay. But ] just
know pail be mad
After he had eaten ana the farmer
had started back with him to load up.
the latter said, Now. don't you feel
bettcrW
VERY much. sir. but pan be mad.
though"
"Vhy VIII Your pa be mady"
because he's nnder that load Of
hay"
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1907-08-28

"Once, when Long John Wentworth
was mayor Of Chicago" said an old
time resident OF that city, "A hot cam
palgn was In progress. The rough ele-
ment was showing signs OF turbulence.
and Long John knew that the police
force was totally unable TO cope with
II II there should be n riot. There
wasn't much of any police force in
those days. The few officers that there
We're didn't have any uniform outside
OF a plug hat On the front Of this
was a semicircle OF tin with the mans
number on It. There was no money 10
pay for additional officers. so Long
John bethought himself OF a bright
scheme He had a figure o. added to
The number on every one Of those hats.
On election day the different members
OF the force were stationed conspicu
ously where the trouble was most like
~ TO break out. The roughs saw the
numbers. 800 900 $50 etc. where
they had before seen only % 90 and
81 The word went around that Long
John had added several hundred men
20 the police force. and the tough crowd
were so lnumidated that they never
dared 20 10 thing"
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1907-08-28

One Of the most curious myths of the
middle ages, singularly false and fiagi-
tious In its character, but so persistent
that It eventually attained general be-
lief, was the story Of Pope JOAN" the
woman pope who was supposed to
have sat fin ST. Peters chair about
midway o. the ninth century For
200 years in the great cathedral at
Sicna. italy along with the busts OF
all the other popes. there stood bust
Of this mythical female bearing upon
it the ipecfirion. "John VIII. a Wo-
man From England" This bust was
put ia It's place by ecclesiastical au
thorities In the year 100. without pro-
test from any source. and In pursu-
ancc Of the universal popular belief
that the eighth John had indeed been
a woman, and this in spite Of the fact
that the personal history Of the real
John VIII. who was man and a Ro-
man and the defer Of the Emperor
Charles the Bald, was open to the
scholars OF the world IL was only at
the beginning OF the seventeenth CEN
tury that tie bust OF the woman from
England" was taken down.--Argonaut
=
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1907-08-28
JUDGES Of the OLYMPIC Games.

The hellanodcae, or judges of the
Olympic, were ten in number. selected
by lot from the ten tribes of Ellis. They
entered upon their Office ten months
before the festival. They were first
schooled In the traditions and regula-
tons Of the games, then studied the
capacities of the athletes while they
were still in training. They had TO
decide upon the qualifications Of the
contestants, make up the programme
Of the games, supervise the prepare
ton of the scene of contest, act as
judges in the games and distribute
the prizes. 1t was position of honor
and distinction. They came to the con-
test clad In purple robes. and sat in a
tribune opposite the finish OF the races
In the stadium or hippodrome. They
seem to have subdivided the function
of judging, but at least three were
present to judge in every contest.
Their decisions were usually final, but
an appeal might be carried TO the
Olympic senate. They were assisted
In the execution OF their commands by
a large and well organized body OF
police
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1907-08-28

daughters watch. You had to come
back. while she was alone. you scoun-
drel, and try TO rob my house. Search
his pockets. Agatha"
Agatha hesitated.
search his pockets. girl' Mr.. An
derson repeated. This time Agatha
obeyed. She had never seen her father
In such a towering rage.
"Ohv' she cried suddenly. "Oh. he
did steal IT. Here II Is" and she drew
the little jeweled timepiece from one
of the mans pockets.
The young man made frantic eff
fort to speak, and Mr. Anderson re-
leased his grip on his throat slightly.
"Well. what have you to say for
yourself?' he demanded harshly.
I'm not thief" Mr.. Black said
huskily. II wish TO explain how
came by the watch. Your daughter
must have dropped 1t this afternoon
outside the locksmiths. The man In
the cigar store found It on the side
walk, and when went back with the
keys he gave it to me and asked me
TO find out If ii belonged to this young
lady"
"a pretty story" commented Aga
mas father with a sheer Agatha,
ring up the police. Wait minute"
he added as the doorbell rang. That's
Balnbridge. Run and let him in"
"Uncler' exclaimed the prisoner as
Mr.. Cambridge crossed the library
threshold
"Why. Roger" returned the latter.
"what does this meant"
Agatha laughed Historically. "Then
you aren't MIR. Black, after all, and
your story is true" she cried.
The young man shook himself as
IL TO get free OF the horrible effects
of the last few minutes.
mo" he answered with a feeble at
tempt at smile, I'm my uncle's
namesake, Roger cambridge I'd. with
my compliments"
"And TO think" groaned cambridge
senior, that I've been out setting the
police on the track of my own neph-
ewy'
THAT isn't half so bad as choking
him." was Mr.. Anderson's rueful COM
ment.
Some months after this dramatic lit
tie incident Agatha discovered that she
had been robbed again. This time she
felt sure young Mr.. cambridge was
guilty but she shrank from facing him
with the accusation. She was saved
that ordeal, however, by the sudden
full confession of the criminal himself.
agatha" he announced very seri-
ously one evening after dining with
her, what would you say If | told
you l have really been trying to steal
something from your
Agatha started. "Why," she an
severed, I'D rather give you anything
of mine than have you steal It,"
Are you sure, Agathaf' asked Rog-
err, looking at her tenderly, yet search
ingly. Its a very precious thing
want"
IF it's my heart" answered Agatha,
you've stolen 1t without waiting for
me to give It TO you" and she smiled
at him bravely and sweetly through
her bushes.
He folded her close to him. I'm
awfully afraid" he said. laughing soft
~ in his great joy, that your father
will choke me In earnest this time"
Agatha laughed. too. for. as she said,
love can afford to laugh at locksmiths.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1907-08-28

we knew she had got the prize. She
looked at me. and then she walked
straight up TO Dan. and they forgot
was there. Oh. the humiliation of H.
And then old Carton had 10 cap tho
climax by telling me that ! neyei
would make an artist knew Il well
enough. All wanted was IL he'd
only stopped there instead of telling
me that | should be married.
81 have seen that you are In love
Miss Susan, and | advise you 10 marry
the good man and help him make a
career
"IIe wasn't so smart as he thought
he was or he'd have sees that Maude
wasn't content with getting the paint
ing prize. She had to take everything
even Forgetting where she was
she sprang TO her feet, humping heI
head against pile OF empty boxes,
which fell with a deafening clatter.
Then the door was flung open, and
some one seized her arm and drew her
gently out into the sitting room. SUI
san gave one glance at her sisters
Mortified face and then laughed help.
lessly. 1t was fortunate that she
could not see her own face, which was
stained in an elaborate pattern from
the kimono.
II was hunting for my comb she
began and stopped. for the man. whose
face she had not yet seen. came around
In front of her.
"Did you find itf" he asked.
Susan turned white and then red
and white again before she said q
word. And when her lips finally
opened they uttered the one thing she
could have bitten her tongue out fol
saying
,'Where Is MaudeT'
"Maude? oh, she's safely married
and on a wedding trip. Whatever
made you run away that day when
old Carton told Maude she had won
the prise? We hunted for you to
tell you. but you were gone"
"I didn't need TO be told / saw
she said. and then grew white again.
but why-if you are married-why
isn't Maude here tooY'
"MaudeT Suddenly the man gave
shout. 30 you mean that you think
] am married to Maude? That's good
one. She is my sister-in-law now. She
was engaged TO Fred for five years
and they never had money enough to
marry on till she got that cash prize
That was why she worked so hard to
get It,"
Susan began TO back toward the
stairway. She felt IL was time to es
cape.
"No. you don't" said the man, and
he caught one corner OF the kimonC
and held her
I'm not dressed" she murmured.
$50 / perceive" he answered. but
was that the reason you ran away
because you thought Maude"-
"Old Carton told me I'd never make
an artistl' she evaded.
did he? The brute! But that was
no reason for running away from me
What else did he say?'
"He said / had better get married
said Susan. "And that was why
ran away"
AS she had hoped he would, the
man dropped the kimono in his amaze
ment. and she darted up the stairs
leaving him looking after her with
fear in his eyes.
"Susan-tell me-
She leaned over the banisters and
smiled at him. But OF course
can't get married until some one asks
me- she said. and before he could
get to her the door of her room had
slammed
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1907-08-28

Those letters must be recovered at ~:
hazards. Failure apparently meant
one case OF suicide and one Of life
long remorse.
Meanwhile. things had been happen
ing elsewhere. Arthur Blakeiy had
finally decided 10 send that bouquet
and to follow II in person several hours
later. only TO find that Molly had de-
parted for the country. II wasn't a
case where he could go into court and
argue II out. but case of hustle.
About the time that Aunt Sarah was
picking up paper rags TO make her
deal with the peddler the young law
yer was leaving the city ON the ex-
press and preparing his argument for
the jury OF one. There was. OF course,
no one at the depot 10 meet him, and
he stepped out in a lively way for
the half mile walk. AS he did so a
tin peddler came driving along. and
one Of the wheels OF his wagon struck
a stone and slowed the vehicle around
and upset II in the ditch. The bags
of paper rags on top were thrown
to the ground, and one Of them burst
ing open shot bundle OF letters 10 the
feet OF the lover. He recognized his
stationery and his handwriting at a
glance. Sherlock Holmes could not
have invented a more dramatic situa-
ton.
villain. where did you get thesey'
Arthur finally demanded of the ped
dler.
VILLAIN yourself, What in thunder
ails you?"
You have robbed house. You
have stolen these letters from a girlw
"Come of. You are crazy"
Il arrest you You are my prisoner.
Here Is evidence TO convict your
There is difference between the
legal business aud the constabulary
business, and young Blakely soon dis
covered this. He had only taken the
man of tinware by the collar when he
was seized himself in return, and as
Aunt Sarah and Molly drove up the
men were rolling over and over on the
ground.
There were CALCULATIONS, exclama-
tions, explanations and introductions.
Mr.. Bakely hunted for his hat and
missing buttons and begged pardon.
tended TO be a cold stare, but which
had a "Tll-forgive-you' look mingled
with it. The peddler swore frankly
and picturesquely and said somebody
had TO pay for his skinned nose. Aunt
Sarah. bless her heart, was equal 10
the emergency. She felt the sting OF
conscience for having laid her sacri-
legious hands on those love letters
She suggested that a five dollar bill
was the right sort of plaster for
skinned nose, and Mr.. Blakely handed
ii over. Under other circumstances,
being in the law, he would not have
given 1t up until judgment had been
ecution issued. When peace relgned
Aunt Sarah climbed down from the
buggy and said:
IL must go and see Mrs. Williams IN
that cottage over there. Mr.. Blakely
will you have the kindness to drive
Miss Gray back to the house"
1t was only mile back to the farm
house, but owing to the lame horse and
various other matters il was three
hours before the buggy drove up to the
gate. Many a lovers quarrel has been
settled in far less time.
Some weeks later when Aunt Sarah
was asked about the rumored engage
ment she assumed a knowing and i'm
portant look and replied:
Eyes, / expect it's so, but where
would they have been but for me and
the tin peddler and Providence?
chill payar LOT ona Of fhaca man naac
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1907-08-28

Don't the Rexall Remedies deserve
your con6dences The pure food law
di3 not necessitate any changes, on tn
contrary IL has set the stamp of appro-
ia on them Yoa can prove they are
unchanged. Their Formulas are the
same now as four years ago. They are
honest without the restriction Of the
law. How many others can you say
this OFF Get sample Of the Rexall Or
derlies Laxative at stanard's Central
Drug Store.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1907-08-28

I'll stop Your pain free. To show you
first-belore you spend penny--whal
my Pink Pain Tablets can do, will mail
You free, trial package Of them-Dr
Shops Headache Tablets Neuralgia
headache ioothache. period pains, etc,
are due alone to blood congestion. DIR.
shoop's Headache Tablets simply kill
pain by coaxine away the unnatural
blood pressure That is all. Address
DR.. shoop, Racine, Wis. Sold by Geo.
sharrar.
DO You read the RECORD?
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1907-08-28
TRv
oswirrs KIDNEY and BLADDER PiLLs-ssu 81 -
Prepared BY Z. o. DEWITT co.. ohIcass
Sold by Chas. Rhodes, Alma.

It's good old world after all;
If you have no friends or money
In the river you can fall;
Marriages are quite common and
More people there would be,
Provided you would take Rocky
Mountain Tea.
Stanard Central drug store.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1907-08-28

The doctor rocks at your tongue,
plves you q laxative medicine. and
changes you well for It. You can judge
by your tongue yourself when you need
q laxative medicine, and for 25c. you
can get the best laxative known, which
ie Celery King, the tonic-laxative.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1907-08-28
Dr.. Shops
Restorative
GEO. e. SHARRAR.
Sour
Stomach

No appetite. loss Of strength, nervosN
ness. headache. constipation. bad breath.
general debility. sour risings. and catarrh
Of the stomach are all due to indigestion.
Kodol relieves digestion. This new discovs
cry represents the natural juices Of diges.
ton as they exist In . healthy stomach,
combined with the greatest known tomb
and reconstructive properties. kodol fos
dyspepsia does not only relieve indigesti0
and dyspepsia. but this famous reme(
helps all stomach troubles by cleansing
purifying. swestsaing and Strengthening
the mucous msu1BAnss lining the stomac1p
Mr.. s. s. - r nWsnswood. W. Va, ssy0f
ksts 81 e nd. : - : I =. - ! s e
SoE xipugvo
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1907-08-28
Weak Kidneys

weak Kidneys surely point 70 weak kidney
Nerves. The Kidneys. like the Heart and the
Stomach. find their weakness not la the organ
itself. but I'm the nerves that control and guide
and strengthen them. DR.. Shops Restorative il
. medicine specifically prepared 70 reach these
controlling nerves. To doctor the Kidneys alone.
q futile. IL Is waste OF time. and OF money as
well.
II your back aches or Is weak. II the urine
scalds. or Is dark and strong II you have symptoms
OF Brights or other distressing dangerous kid
ney disease try DR.. Shops Restomtivea month
Tablets or Liquid-and See what II can and viii
do for you. Druggist recommend and sell
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1907-08-28

And 11fhrr.its which Durro. unload TIE
InN rife frm uOrafY IrIlrf. bat Iritafc.
fftnlne oiccsilre and c,purivc organs.
1850 lrontoN anbltte lr8 ~ different I'll
a4 itutl is IRON ialsehout. They ncur.tl
tI.0r tn DO tho work nniure Intended, thur
.eIiIt n permanent cure ~ perfectly cafo nrr
ull means. THO Dost laxative for ChIidfIN
I.rJI1te c0airl tablets easy 90 take. never CfirC
~ llllcato. zoe, 2ac and 9lsc0 90 az drug storo1.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1907-08-28

Money to loan on real estate. creas-
II. l454t3
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1907-08-28

Some weeks later when Aunt Sarah
was asked about the rumored engage
ment she assumed knowing and i'm
portant look and replied:
Yes, | expect it's so, but where
would they have been but for me and
the tin peddler and Providence?
shall never let one of these men pass
my gate again without at least calling
to him and asking the price of wash
dishes and nutmeg graters'
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1907-07-12

he fact that Priam was closeted
With the adiusier did not prevent Gas.
saacra from dropping in to say that
sSe had told aim Just how It would be.
She was all I saved murmured
re ouFnt-out monarch. jerking his
u-nio al the retiring prophecies
say no more reiolned the other.
We u call the loss total. and IL could
Iahe 4 any more than that. old man,
IS &C It. under the circumstances
nis Incident shows the value OF a
word SPOKEN at the right time.-Puck.