Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-10-31
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"His eyes seemed glued to my every
movement" "Yes? That's a sign that
he's stuck on you.'
Are you marrledY" "Yep." Are
you happyT' Didn't just tell you l
was marriedY'-Houston Post
Papa, is frog fish or an animal?"
ayes Now run out and play and give
me chance to read my paper"
II was one Of those saved In that
terrible wreck" How did you es-
capeT II changed my mind at the
last minute and took another train"
Yes; 1t was hard luck. He fell in
love with her at first sight, bought a
ffty-trip ticket and was refused on his
second visit. t."-Browning's Magazine.
Little Willie-What Is joy, pa? Pa
joy, my son, Is the peculiar feeling
experienced by the man who counts his
money and finds more than he expect
ed.-Chicago News.
Mother-What's the matter, Joseph
Inc, Josephlne-Lolo hurt me. Mother
How? Josephine went to hit him
on the head and he lodged me and l
banged my hand against the wall.
did you get home before the storm
broke last night? asked the first club
man. "Of course" replied the other.
1.-The storm never breaks at my house
until get home. e."-Philadelphia Press.
Dlcky-Your dad always goes to
sleep in church. Georgey-My dad has
right to go to sleep in church, If he
wants to. He gives more to the preach
er than any other man in the congre-
CATION.
Examiner Ito medical student)-
Now let US take Appendicitis. On what
grounds should you decide that an Inn
mediate operation was necessary. Med
ical Student-On the financial condi-
tion of the patient.
Towne-I understood you to call
Mrs. Rownder a widow, but her hus-
band Is living. Browne-Oh, yes; she's
what you might call "club widow :"
she's a woman who has late nus
band-Philadelph Press
Inquisitive AcGuaintance-Have you
ever thought what you would do If
your gas bag should collapse while you
were half a mile or more up in the
air? Daring Accommodation,
should start at once for terra trma by
the shortest possible route.
From the grammatical standpoint"
said the fair maid with the lofty fore
head, (which do you consider correct,
4 had rather go home or I would
rather go homer" Neither" prompt
ly responded the young man. I'D much
rather stay here."-Answers,
$50 you quit smoking because she
asked you to-" said the youth with the
clamshell cap. Yes" answered the
lad with the turned up trousers And
then?" "Then she went walking with
a man who smoked a pipe, because she
said it kept away mosquitoes. Wash
ington Star.
A prominent society women told her
butler to tell ali visitors that she was
not at home At night when enumer-
ating the persons who had called dur
ing the day. he mentioned the lady's
sister, when his mistress exclaimed:
81 told you, man, that | was always at
home for my sister You ought to have
shown her in" Next day the lady
went out to make few calls and
during her absence her sister came to
the house as your mistress at homer
she asked the butler. Yes, madam,
was the reply. The lady looked every
where for her sister. She said to the
butler: "My sister must have gone out,
for | cannot find her" "Ies, madam,
she has gone out, but she told me last
night that she was always at home to
you."-Philadelphia Record.