The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-12-02
the WAY IT WORKS.
vesehins . Calf TO Drink Is Soul
Tryinq Operation.

''JHB NpN' "fS''
Those who have had a mournful ex.
pcricuce know that there is nothing
more trying 10 The soul than the opera
tion " tcaclins young calf 10 drink.
The process is familiar TO every man
who has brought NJ calf from In.
fancy You seize pail of warm milk
90 into the stable. catch the calf by
the ears. back him into corner and
bcstridc his neck. The idiot rather
likes this. aud while you are reaching
for the pail he employs his time it
slobbering the lower corners OF your
Jacket You discover what the block
head is about and box his ears Non
can't help H. You feel that way an.
let him have IT, But the calf cant
tell for the life Of him why he has been
struck. aud he gives sudden and un
expected "nouncc" lie believes be
viii 20 over and stay Oh the other side
OF the stable. but he doesn't announce
this beforehand lie starts ,n the i'm
pulse Of the moment. and you can't tell
Just when he arrives there. You ride
along with him little way. But the
laws of gruvit1tlon are always about
the same Your lcgs-onc ON each side
.' the crlttcr- keep up with the calf
Tor about a second. but your body
doesn't You slide over the calf and
your back kisses the floor Your head
Il soaking IN the pail of milk. When
you get UP YOU are mad uncommonly
So MIX runs from your hair and i'm.
precautions ont Of your mouth
There is bu'tcrmiih In your eve, ana
you so,cmnly declare you viii learn
that calf 10 drink or break his bank"d
neck The calf doesn't know Of this
resolve. aud he glurcs AZ you in stupil
fright from across the stable. He Is
not aware that he was the cause Of
your downfall aud wonders ignoruntly
what In thunder is the matter. You
don't try TO cyplaln II 10 him, but furi
ously catch him 10y the ears. look back
ovci your shoulder at the milk pail aud
back up toward 1t. dragging the calf
after you. who bawls out in a manner
which seems TO say. Els this the way
| you treat a fellow crcaturcY You
| again back into the corner. sling your
! left leg over him and once more try To
/ get his head IN chanccry. The calf at
| tcmpts II little more funny business
| and plungrs suddenly forward. You
are on the lookout for breakers this
time. and. having a firm hold on his
ears. you muttcr through your clinchcd
jaws. mo you don't. honey" But he
does. though. and you "cross the cont.
ncnt" together 10y the rapid translt''
line You hadn't intended To 20. but
that Is where you and the calf didn't
see alike. You take his view OF II In
few moments later-you astrldc oi
the calfs neck. and. janming the
finger of one hand into its mouth. you
place the other on the back OF his head
and shove his nose into the pail. fully
| resolved to strange him II he doesn't
drink.
The calf holds perfectly still-omi
nously Su-uni there Is silence In hcav
cu for the space of half minute. a
the end of which time the bloclhcnd
who hasn't drank "A drop suddcnl,
makes Il splurgc. knocks the pail {,
"kiugdum come" milk and all. you ar,
again reduced 10 u horizontal from 4
5 perpendicular. and when YOU rise III,
excitement is inscnsc You have beet
soaked with milk. "slobhrrcd" on ant
hurt and abused the worst way. No
drop Of milk has gone down the In
fernal brutc's neck and there he stand'
glaring at you. ready TO furnish yol
another free ride anywhere you wan
= TO go With an affidavit. you bang hin
over the head with the empty pail ano
hobble out of the pen, mad and hur
= all through. fully resolved 10 let you
four footed fool starve. - Clevelau,
nlnf,,