Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1907-07-04
ALL ON ACCOUNT
Of A FISH
Matrimonial Dialogue After one
Month of Married Life.

This fish is bad, Ethel" l said, as
l surveyed piece of ancient-looking
| plaice.
Ethel looked up from her plate with
a start. 'Bad?" she said. 81 think
you must be mistaken, Jack"
Not much room for mistake here
The fish doth protest too much
| You have had a bad day downtown"
| retorted Ethel, "and in consequence
are somewhat critical and bad-tem-
pered."
"One G ISN'T need to be very critical
THE fish isn't bad, and you have
no right to say so. It's reflection ON
me-"
Nothing of the sort It's a refec-
ton on the fish dealer"
| Its reflection on my housekeep-
ing. And l got three prizes for do
nestle economy at school and l have
studied the subject deeply ever since
we were engaged. And here you are
finding fault after we have been mar
ried only MONTH" And Ethel burst
into tears.
well, there is no need to make such
a fuss over small matter"
Its not small matter to be found
fault with by ones husband. And IL
thought you so different from other
men!"
Here followed another rainstorm.
And l thought you were deal pref
tier and had more common sense than
the average woman"
| Ethel uncqnsciously tut a rebelli-
GUS curl into position at this remark.
You married me simply because
you wanted housekeeper. can or
der the fish, but l can't order the
weather" she moaned as she proceed
ed to drench lace handkerchief.
could not help but notice, with GER
tain amount of satisfaction, that she
was one of the very few women who
can cry without making their noses
lred
Don't behave like spoiled child"
| said. do try and be reasonable"
The law interferes when a man
beats his wife," continued Ethel, but
when he treats her with refined cru
city she has no remedy" And the lace
handkerchief went into play again
Il think l had better leave you to
yourself for short time" | said, land
then, perhaps, when l return you will
be clothed in your right mind l will
look in at the club"
Ethel sat bolt upright at the men
ton of the odious word
| Club" she said and her eyes
blazed. Yes, go to the club, stay at
the CLUB, live at the club! And may
the club fall in upon all those heart
less husbands who have deserted their
heartbroken wives!"
"a nice, pious wish for four weeks
old wife"
ITS fate too good for such con.
duct"
IF during my absence" l said .'you
find time hang heavily on you hands,
you might read Much Ado About
Nothing"
Thanks for the advice" retorted
Ethel. Men are not the indispensable
creatures they appear to think. 1
shall have no difficulty in occupying
my time. l, too, will look in at my
club"
Ethel" l said, sternly, 81 was not
aware you belonged to club"
That's quite likely" she replied in
an exasperating tone of voice. Bella
Eastwood belongs to the Doves and
| will look her up this evening. 1t will
be good opportunity to have my
name put down for membership. 1t is
as well to have outside interests when
ones husband is merely lodger."
At this remark l stalked out of the
room and closed the door with a deal
of energy.
On entering the club I met a fat,
selfish bachelor. l am now of the
opinion that all bachelors are selfish.
Looking rather hippy Carlton" he
cried. Doesn't double harness suit
you? | notice all you newly married
men stink back here after few weeks
of matrimonial strife"
l refrained from kicking the anil
mated barrel and passed into the bill
lard room. After missing a couple of
easy caroms and nearly slicing piece
of the cloth, 1 threw the whole bust
ness up in disgust aid returned home.
wondered how Ethel was enjoying
! herself at the club. thought l would