davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1907-11-14
Not What He Meant

In their efforts to advertise goods shop-
keepers Sometimes err in the matter OF
properly expressing their ideas. In a win
dow of a prominent dealer in women's
wear the following sign was proudly dis
played.
"Women's shirtwaists. 9S cents. They
won't last long at this price,
The window was full of the articles in
question, but most of the women who
paused to look said:
We'll, if that's the case l don't think
I'll buy"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1907-11-14
A Scholarly Wit.

FTom the London TELEGRAPH.
The quick mind of the late DR.. Haig-
Brown, master of the famous Charter
house school in London, was ever ready
to seize upon an a%bsurdity and give it a
witty turn.
A fond parent once wrote asking him to
Inter" her son at Charterhouse.
Dear madam" he wrote back, IT shall
be most happy to undertake your SON."
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1907-11-14


sit in a chair day
after day unable to
move about on &C
count of
pains in my back,
hips and legs. l was
short Of breath and
my heart would
futter after the
least eXertion. | had
dizzy spells and
bearing down DainS
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1907-11-14
Eludina the Teacher.

Willie came TO school for the first
time. In one hand he carried a cap and
in the other a bunch of bananas.
You can't come in here with those
bananas aid the teacher.
Willie went out. III a few minutes
he came back, walking slowly and pain
fully.
Where did you put the bananas"
asked the teacher. Il hid them all
right" gasped Willie; they're safe in
side of me-"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1907-11-14

From Smart Set.
MI. Jolly-There's one thing / like
about Miss Barker. She never talks
about anybody.
Miss Sneerwell-No, indeed. She
spends all her time talking about her
self.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1907-11-14
Keep Her Quiet.

Doctor Emdee-Madam, just put this
thermometer in your mouth and hold
it there for three minutes.
Mr.. Herpeck (sotto v~oce)--Say, Doc,
whatn you take for that thermometer?
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1907-11-14
From Judge,

New Artist-If you like that drawing
Mr.. Editor, l nave a lot more there in
my portfolio.
Editor Observation-Disclosures the
main defect in this drawing.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1907-11-14
Quaker Reflections.

from The FhIIaGeiphIa Record.
Lie is full of trials, but not half
enough of US get convinced.
A girl may have teeth like pearls
and be as dumb as an oyster.
If the manicure girls should start a
paper. would it be II hand organ?i
Some men are so slow that it Is even
doubtful If they go fast asleep.
a sermon is sometimes based upon
q text n sometimes upon a pretext.
Many a fellow who IS worth a NIL
ion is absolutely worthless otherwise.
AT any rate the fellow who marries a
poor orphan has no mother-in-law com
plications.
When a fellow wears q high hat with
a sack coat he can expect a girl 10
look with favor upon his suit.
When a u man tells a CIR! she is
as pretty as a picture II generally
means that he would Ike to take the
picture.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1907-11-14

From the Philadelphia Record.
Poor mani exclaimed the benevolent
old lady. And you say you have no
.friends? No. madam replied the
weary wayfarer; II used TO be a baseball
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1907-11-14
~Grandfather's Cure for
Constipation

TN REAT medicine.-the sawbuck.
10 Two hours a day saving wood
M viii keep anyone's Bowels
Nh regular.
No need of pills. cathartics. Castor Oil.
nor "Physic," If you'll only work the Saw
buck regularly.
Exercise is Natures Cure for Constipa-
ton and, "a Ten-Mile walk will do, if you
haven't got a wood-pile.
But, if you viii take your Exercisein an
Easy Chair. there's only one way to do that,
bec~ause,-there's only one kim of Artificial
Exercise for the Bowels and its name is
"cASCARETS."
Cascarets are the only means 70 exercise
the Bowel Muscles without work.
They don't Purge. Grippe. nor upset
Jour Stomach" because they don't act like
Physics"
They don't flush cut your Bowels and
.ntestines with a costly waste Of Digestive
ciS - so@tsS, SAStoi vi, SdL0EIlca, J2l2p,
or Aperient Waters always do.
No--cascarets strengthen and stimulate
he Bowel Muscles, that linz the Food
passages and that tighten Up when food
touches them, thus driving the sood TO its
finish.
A Cascaret acts on your Bowel Muscles
as If you had Just sawed a cord Of wood. OF
walked ten miles.
cascare's move the Food Naturally,
digesting it without waste Of tomorrow's
Gastric Juice.
The thin, flat. Ten-Cent Box is made
70 fit your Vest pocket, or my Lady's''
Purse. Druggists 10 Cents a Box.
Garry it constantly with you and take a
cascaret whenever you sus7ect you need
one.
Be very careful to get tbs genuine
made Only by the Sterling Remedy Com
pany, and never sold in bulk. Every tab
let stamped Gee" M
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1907-11-14

From the Baltimore American.
Young Freshleigh insisted that all
needed to succeed in politics was an
opening"
We'll, he's got it. He's in a hole
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1907-11-14

From the Chicago Tribune.
Old Hunks-Did you marry me m
my money? Answer me that. madam.
AIRS. Enthusiastically l did. And
wed get along just lovely If you were
not 50 stingy with it.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1907-11-14

Egotism is the principal ingredient /
the self made mans cor position
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1907-11-14
TIED TO A CHAIR.

Unable to Move About on cou
of Kidney Troubles.
Mrs. Anna Beebe, River and Monroe
streets, Anoka. Mimi, saws: II had to
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1907-11-14

x mn nMnh rMW Z DmWnnM s adn .E.Sa OnDWOs
No Substitutes. Ask yourd W L. DOUGLAS shoes II he cNmA lMnnlvv WI Md@
direct toacuy. Shoes Veywhowbyn MALL atAogh NsW VIZ DonghsB reckM 49,
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1907-11-14

Mrs. Brown awoke her husband in the
dead Of night with the startling informa-
ton that she had just heard a burglar in
the room below. Now" she exclaimed.
excitedly, hes lighting one Of those
cigars l gave you for your birthday.
heard him pick up the box and put It
down again." Then John sat up and lis
tened. by jove, Mary, you're right he
answered. HE is! He's actually smok-
ing one of those-er-er those cigars. Their
he nestled once more comfortably be-
meath the blankets. GO TO sleep again.
Mary" he said. complacently; we'll find
the poor wretch IN the morning"
Los Angeles herald., 1907-05-03
SELECT Man
TO INVESTIGATE
CITRUS TROUBLE
Commerce Commits
sion Takes Action
Frank G. FlnIayson Appointed Special
Examiner and viii Start to Probe
Car Shortage Allegations
Without Delay

Attorney Frank G. Finlayson Of Los
Angeles has been designated by the inter-
state commerce commission to act as spe-
cial commissioner of the board to hear
the complaint of the California Fruit
Growers exchange with respect to the
failure of the railroads to furnish cars
sufficient to the fruit production of Cali
fornia
Mr.. Finlayson announces that the hear
ing will begin May 16 in a suite of rooms
TO be provided by the United, States mar
shal the rooms to be in either the Bull
lard or Tajo blocks.
The complaint of the fruit exchange
representatives was filed with the inter-
state commerce commission several days
ago after considerable argument between
the citrus producers and the railroad men
had resulted in only hard feeling.
In their complaint sent to the COM
mission the exchange representatives al
lege that they ship over so per cent an
nually OF the output of 10000 carloads of
citrus fruit forwarded from California
and that therefore they are entitled to
considerable consideration.
Rules Entail Great Loss
Briefly their complaint as set forth by
ago the trouble started when about the
middle of April the Southern Pacific
adopted a rule by which 1t proposed to
furnish cars to the various shippers when
ton to the fruit picked and actually in
the packing houses at the time of the
demand for cars, and 1T has ever since
acted upon that regulation and is alleged
by the railroad men to have threatened
to continue the regulation along that line
and limit the supply of cars on that
basis.
The exchange further shows that it
never at any time has demanded car sup
plies except to an amount actually re-
ouired by it within a short time and has
never at any time of shortage kept the
cars supplied to it standing upon the
tracks unloaded for more than twenty
four hours Further, that it is not pos
sible to conduct its business without
great loss under the regulation estab-
lished by the Southern Pacific company;
that such regulation compels the petit
toner, in order to obtain its fair pro-
portion of the cars. to store a vast
amount of fruit in it's packing houses,
and when there is a shortage of cars the
result is that much of it must stand
over owing to the irregularity of car
supply for a few days or weeks, or even
more, before shipment can be made, and
that by reason of that fact there is a
great loss from the deterioration of the
fruit.
other allegations are set forth in the
complaints against the railroad company.
An investigation will be made as soon as
possible.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-05-03
Chicago Terminal pIcker
Nv Associated Press.

BY ASSOClaIeu FItSs.
NEW YORK, May Representatives
of the minority stockholders of the Chi
cago Terminal Transfer railroad said that
while no offer has been made to them in
the interests of the Baltimore G. Ohio they
were of the opinion that a compromise
would be reached between the Baltimore
& Ohio and the Hill Morgan interests,
as a result of which the Baltimore
& Ohio would make az offer to the stock
holders in addition to caring for the
bonds of the company, whicn are to ue
taken up tomorrow at par and interest.
In the financial district it is believed
that an understanding has already been
reached between the Hill and Morgan in
terests as the minority owners of Chicago
Transfer stock and the Baltimore & Ohio
Los Angeles herald., 1907-05-03
SANTA FE TAKES SPEED STEPS
VIII Build New Bridge Below Needles
Over the Colorado

Announcement is made that the Santa
Fe is to abandon it's bridge over the
Colorado river at The Needles and build
one further down stream as part Of a new
route into California for fast passenger
and freight service.
The abandonment also means that the
portion of the present main line between
Amboy on the Mojave desert, this state,
and Ash Fork, Ariz., will also be aban-
doned for fast service into and out of
California because of the heavy grades
along it.
The new bridge is to cross the Colorado
at Salome.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-05-03
Bay state is Assrieved

BOSTON May 2.-The Massachusetts
legislature will not cancel the lease of the
Boston & Albany railroad to the New
recommendation to be made by the legis-
lative committee on railroads. This COM
mittee agreed to recommend that the
lease be not Cancelled and that there be
no state ownership of the railroad. 1t
was also voted to recommend a rebuke to
the New York Central company for the
manner in which it has managed the
Boston & Albany.
The movement to cansel the lease is
based upon alleged inadequate service.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-05-03
RE|NSTATE THE
LIMITED TRAIN
Shriners' and Dunkards' Travel Makes
Increased Equipment Imperative.
Santa Fe Prepares to Make
Faster Time

The Los Angeles Limited train over the
Chicago & Northwestern, Union Pacic and
Salt Lake routes is to be reinstated on
May to care for the travel incident to
the meeting of the Mobiles of the Mystic
Shrine and the national convention of the
Dunkards both of which will be held in
Los Angeles early this month.
Travel this year is heavy beyond the
usual winter tourist season because of
these big gatherings, while the natural
growth Of Los Angeles brings a constant
ly increasing passenger traffic between
the Atlantic and Pacific sides.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-05-03
Decorate for La Fiesta

Buy decorations at the Broad
way Department Store today.
Fiesta colors.
Fancy Bells mt sc, 1Oc, 25c. soc
Fiesta Garlands at 10c and 45c
Fancy Fiesta Paper Hats Zoe
Festooning 15c. and 25c bunch
Crepe Paper, 10 #. rolls DC
Fiesta colors.
The above in aisle 5. Then
there are flags. second floor
annex. and bunting on the
third floor.
You'll want to send Shriner
post cards and other pretty
souvenirs to your eastern
friends; find them rear aisle 2.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-05-03
Sale Of Soiled Waists at Half-Price

A &c Sale
Friday Bargains in Drugs
We're going to mark down great
many 1Oc items today to 6Rc. we
want a big day in the drug section, ana
we're going after it with big values.
1Oc BOTTLE GLYCERINE. ....... .61sc
Zoe BOTTLE ROSE WATER. .01ac
1Oc SPIRITS OF CAMPHOR. ..61ac
IOc WITCH HAZEL. ............. .0H2c
Zoe SPIRITS TURPENTINE. .61sc
Zoe CAMPHORATED OIL.... .61sc
Come TO the drug section, rear aisles
4 and 5, for above and following items
today:
LA BIACHE FACE POWDER 25c-For
the famous soc powder; our price 3Oc'
special today Csc.
ORIENTAL CREAM O5c-The magical
beautifier; a $3.50 preparation, TO-DAY
csc.
RIrRBER COMPLEXION BRUSH 15c-
Regular price Csc. Special bargain 1or
today, aisle 3.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-05-03
Kouns is transportation Chief
Nv Associated Pres!

TOPEKA, Kas., May &C. W. Kouns
superintendent of transportation of the
Santa F'e road. has been appointed to the
position OF assistant to the second vice
president, with headquarters al Chicago.
The position is a new one Mr.. Kouns, in
lis new position, will continue at lne
iead of the transportation department.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-05-03
Excitement Causes Death

By Associated Press.
SAN JOSE, Col, May 2.-Mrs. w.
r. Hogg, an aged woman, died this
morning as the result of excitement
caused by small fire in the rear of
her premises, 227 Ryland street, yes
terday afternoon, at which time she
collapsed and was conveyed to bed.
Chamberlain,s Cough Remedy cures the
worst colds. Try it
Los Angeles herald., 1907-05-03

Everything you want you VIII hnd in
the classified page-a modern encyclo-
Iedia. One cent a word
Daily prospector bulletin., 1907-11-14

Seattle, Nov. 12-The Alaska liner Mae kinaw has been chartered by the Pacific Mail Company, and will be put on the run from San Francisco to Panama.
 Port Angeles, Nov. 12-Bat Greeiish, a Seattle man, lost last week i'll the woods back Of this town, is believed to have been drowned in lake. A vigorous search has been made for him. without result.
 Seattle, Nov. 12-CCntEactcr M. J. Heney, of the Copper River x North western railroad, sailed on the steam CT Yucatan for Cordova, Sunday, ac- companiod by q crew Of men. He expects to complete twenty miles of road this coming winter.
Daily prospector bulletin., 1907-11-14

Seattle. Nov. 12-Steamer Saratoga arrived here this morning. She brings hundreds of cases of salmon and much wreckage from the ship John CulTier which wen5 ashore at Port Hayden in Boring sea, last ANgust.
 St. Petersburg, Nov 12 - Seven socialists have been condemned to death for participating in plot 10 assassinate the minister of war. One woman is involved, who refuses to divulge her name.
 HoGuaim, Nov. 12--Chief of Police Mckinney, in h,rrying to answer decoy telephone cali, was shot il the head from ambush. The wound Is on}y slight.
 Mexico City, Nov. 1.-Nic a.ragua, Hondurus and Salvador have signed a treaty of peace. All dlsagree ments are obliteratedf 1T q few days tt least.
 Washington, D. C., Nov. 12--Judge McComas, associate justice of the court of appeals, and an eN-senator f tho state of Maryland, died to-day ot heart failure.
 New York, Nov. 12-Copper is quot ed st thirteen seventy-tive.
 Tkioo, Japan, Nov. 12-Vcalcnic eruptions Of great violence have oc- cured Cn Mount Khucheoskya. Flames were visible fer five hundred miles distant and ashes covered the ground fer a great distance around the scene of the convulsion Of nature.
 Seattle, Nov. l2-The police stepped a. dance given by Jewish society at the Benton club on Sunday night. Sunday dances are forbidden in Seat tie.
 Seattle, Nov. 12 - EX-policoman Riley has been arrested charged with robbing man in an alley. Holdups have been Of nightly occurrence.
 Spokane, Nov. 12-A5 meeting of the bankers of Eas5ern Washington. the sum of S20,O00, ,O00 was pledged to assist iii moving the wheat crop.
 san Francisco, Nov. l2-The whalel Herman, reported as being frozen in with other vessels in the Arctic ocean dropped anchor in port this morning. She reports rough trip through ice bergs, but managed to get cut whole.
 Seattle, Nov. 12-Ten sticks Of dy- namite were found OH the Northern Pacific track at Georgetown Saturday night. 4 boy discovered the explc- siVe an hour before the arrival Of the overland passenger train. No clue has been found as to the perpetrators of the deed.
Daily prospector bulletin., 1907-11-14

Fernando, Ky, Nov. 12-As the re- suit of an election quarrel, William Hopkins and Frank Foley fought a duel with pistols. Hopkins was shot dead and Foley is seriously wounded. The dead man was the son of minis ter and both duelists were prominent. Washington. D. C., Nov. 12-Con- gressman Burke of Pennsylvania says that Senator Knox of the Keystone state will be the next president of the Uuited States.
 Seattle, Nov. 12-SenatOr Piles has named Edgar Glider as his private secretary.
 The year 1898 is ge.> erally recognized as the one in which Valdez was born. In March of that year the great rush occurred, and from town Of tents at that time, city of substantial build inss has evolved The men who came to Valdez at its inception, and who stuck to the towI through thick and thin, are now enjoying the fruits ot their patience aud perseverance,. in having large, paying businesses. One case. for instance. J. q Snyder pitched his tent on the lot where his big store structure stands ani started tore in the town ill '98, opening ur with an extremely limited stock of clothing and groceries As business
 increased, frame building supplanted the tent Soon this place became too small, and other additions were added until five have been constructed, the last having just been completed. The floor space now occupied Is 34x6S feet, with d varerOom of equal dimensions upstairs. Bes ide this, is the stove and tinware store, 14X35 feet. From few sacks and boxes of food and clothing, m '9S. the shelves and all availabl floor space is now taken by an immense stock of general acknowledgements ies, dry oods. crocke:y, furniture. stoves, etc
 The success which MT. Snyder has achieved hy his sticktoitiveness (his is the oldest store here) and attention to like character. who have faith in their town and who put their profits Iii in creased stocks and improvements
 The lnnuko country Is turning out well. according to late reports
Daily prospector bulletin., 1907-11-14
Stockholders of Reynolds Alaska Development Company Iraugurate Scheme to Complete
 Alaska Eone Railway.

Development onds which complete
  be the eV-
Daily prospector bulletin., 1907-11-14
Seattle Confirms Report

Seattle 12Attorrey McGv1a reIresenng H. D. Reyno  entirely succesgu
Daily prospector bulletin., 1907-11-14

The lnluko country Is turning out well. according to late reports.
The Washington times., 1907-05-16
LIVELY CONTEST
OVER MODERATOR
IN PRESBYTERY
The Rev. w. H. Roberts,
of Philadelphia, in Lead
for Position.

COLUMBUS, Ohio. May 1s.-The 18th
general assembly Of the Presbyterian
Church. in session in this city. is in the
midst of an animated contest for the
election Of moderator. Indications point
TO choice of the Rev. w. II. Roberts,
d. D., LII. D.. of Philadelphia. al
though II the opposition to him concen-
trates on another candidate he may be
defeated
Other candidates are DR.. w o..
Thompson, president of the Ohio State
University. Columbus, Ohio: the Rev.
w. II. Black. u. D., president Of the
Missouri Valley College, at Marshal,
Mo; DR., Francis L. Marsten, OF New
York; and the Rev. Ira Landrith, d. D..
of Nashville. Tenn.
With the contest for moderator cut OF
the way. the other offices will be dis
posed Of without difficulty. The posi-
ton OF stated clerk will doubtless be
filled by Or. w. b. Noble, OF Los An
geles, Cal. who IS at present perma-
nent clerk.
The preliminary conferences were de-
voted 10 missionary work and educau
tiOnal matters Among the speakers
were missionaries from Africa, China
Japan. Korea and Siam. About 100
delegates and visitors are in attendance.
The Washington times., 1907-05-16
THE PHoNoGRApH AS A WITNESS.

In Brussels lives a lawyer who re-
Gently made good use Of a phOnograph
In lawsuit He had been continually
annoyed by the noises Of hammering at
an iron foundry in his near neighbor-
hood Finding that complaints were
unavailing, he brought the matter into
court. But before doing so he placed
photograph in his library for one
whole day. When the case came before
the court he produced the photograph
and set going the specially prepared
cylinder. An uprOar and din as from
tne forge OF vulcan was the result and
the ingenious lawyer won his case.
The Washington times., 1907-05-16
infatuated With Pastor
ELOpeS TWice in a Year
Mrs. Carl Lehner, of Detroit, Forgiven Once,
Leaves Husband Again TO Join Former
Preacher in New York.

DETROIT, May ls.-For the second
time within a year. Mrs. Carl Lehner
has left her home and gone 10 New
York TO join the Rev. Paul Bard. with
whom she eloped several months ago.
Bard. a married man Of high standing
at the time. first met Mrs. Lehner.
whose husband is a wealthy restau-
rant owner, at a concert She was
prominent in local musical circles, and
as he was an accomplished musician
nothing was thought OF his frequent
calls at the Lehner home.
When they disappeared Mrs. Lehner
took $500 from her husbands safe.
and the preacher left his wife prac-
tically peuniless. They were traced %
New York, where Bard was playing II
The Washington times., 1907-05-16

1870. Other grades show an even great
er advance.
Up to last evening the retailers had
not advanced their price. Sct they will
be obliged 10 do so within a day or
two. At present no one is buying -four
They are waiting to see IL dollar wheat
has come TO stay. II 1t should drop 10
points within a few days the situation
would be relieved. but 1t is considered
that the price Is more likely TO adj
vance.
Bakers Hard Hit.
The bakers are the hardest hit. as
with -four 20 per cent dearer they will
be compelled TO take some measures to
protect themselves.
The public is well disposed toward
The Washington times., 1907-05-16
FROG SKINS ARE HENS FEATHERS

There is a dispute between the col
lector OF the port and a firm Of Jap
anese importers over the classification
OF frog skins. The collector holds that
they are dutiable as leather. and the
importers insist that they be classified
as fish skins. IL Is a needless and profit
less wrangIe Long ago the Treasury
Department experts decided that frogs
legs we're dressed poultry. Consequent
" frog skins are chicken feathers and
should pay duty as such under the wise
and benefcent provisions Of the Oingley
riff-NeW York World.
The Washington times., 1907-05-16
" passed under

a theater orchestra. They passed under
the names OF Paul Keller and wife
The woman, apparently penitent, I'm
ally returned TO Detroit as abruptly as
she had left Her husband. Overioyed.
forgave her
1t now develops that the former
preacher recently wrote 10 Mrs. Lehner,
and that the woman found her infatua-
uon for him returning in spite OF her
sen she grew melancholy and silent
n heT nome. and tonight the husband
found a brief note OF farewell from her
In II she declared she cannot be happy
apart from Bard and begs her hus-
bands forgiveness.
II IS learned that she took a train
late IN the afternoon for New York.
Bard is a member Of a prominent Ge--
man family, a university graduate and
was an especially earnest and ELOQUENT
preacher Mrs. Lehner is extremely
handsome.