Waterbury evening Democrat., 1907-10-24
HENRY WALLACE PHILLIPS
COPYRIGHT 1902 BY MCCLURE. PHILLIPS (, COMPANY

our ears when who comes roaring into
 town but the Bengal Tiger gang, and
 they had four months wages. The own
 CT of the mine got on bender and paid
 everybody off by mistake. You can
 hardly imagine how this livened up
 things. There ain't nobody less likely
 to play lame duck than me, but there
 was no lodging the hospitality. The
 only idea prevailing was to be rid Of
 the money as soon as possible. The
 effects showed right off. You could
 hear one man telling the folks for
 their own good that he was the Old
 Missouri River, and when he felt like swelling his banks 1t was time for
 parties who couldn't swim to hunt the high ground, while the gentleman on the next corner let us know that he was a locomotive carrying 300 pounds of steam with the gauge still climbing
 md the blower on. When he whistled three times, he said, any intelligent man would know that there was dan ger around.
 "Well, sir, I put the Old Missouri River to bed that night, and he'd fiat tened out to very small streamlet in- deed, while the locomotive went lame before supper and had to be put in the roundhOuse by couple of pushers. That's the way with fine ideas. Cold facts comes and puts crimp in them. fn11 I have stuck in my pocket and forgot about, but when we went out and took several prescriptions together on a day 1 he spoke to me like this. Red says he, put your little hand in mine, and we'll go and take birdseye view of the universe Astonishin' idea, wasn't lit? And him not weighing over hun dred pound. Howsomever, he didn't take any birdseye view of the uni verse He only become strikingly in- disposed.
 Well. to get back to Boise, you never in all your life saw so many men and brothers as was gathered there that day, and old Aggy, he was one of the centers of attraction. That big voice and black beard was always where the crowd was thickest and the wet goods flowing the freest. Gentle men,, says he, let's lift up our voices in melody! That was one of Ag's de-
 usions-he thought he could sing. So four of 'em got on top of billiard toh fnd Tn Cradle of the Deep to the company, which made me feel glad that hadn't been brought up that way. After Ag had hip locked the last low note an- other song bird volunteered.
 This was little fat Dutchman, with pale blue eyes and a mustache like two streaks of alarming cotton. He had come to town to sell pair of beef steers, but got drawn into the general hilarity, and now he didn't care a cuss whether he, she or it ever sold another steer. He got himself on end and sung Leeb Battlefront mox- true eckstein' in a style that made you wonder that the human nose could stand the strain.
 "'Aw, cheese that" says a feller near the door. Come, get your steers; one of ems just chased the barber up a telegraph pole"
 "So then we all piled out into the street to see the steers. Sure enough, there was the barber sitting on the crosspiece and the steer paving dirt underneath.
 "'He done made me come a fast heat from dc cohner,' says the barber. T kep' hollerin' "Nextr' but he ain't pay no 'tention-he make it next" fur me, shuah! Yah, yah, yah! You gents orter seen me start at de bottom an slide all de way up dis yer telegraft pole!'
 "One of the bull whackers went out to rope the steers, and Az gave dircc- tons from the sidewalk. He wasn't very handy with q riata. and that's fact, but the way Az lit into him was scandalous When he'd missed about six casts of his rope, Az opened up on him:
 Put a stamp on it and send it 10 him by mail said Aggy in his sour castle way. Address it, Bay Steer, middle of Main street, Boise, Ida. If not delivered within ten days. return to owner. who can use it to hang him self" Blast my hide If I couldn't stand here and throw box car nearer to the critter. Well. well. well. How many left hands have you got. any how? Do it up in a wad and heave it at him for general results. He might get tangled in it.
 Tt rattled the bull whacker. having so much attention drawn to him. and he stepped on the rope and twisted himself up in 1t and was flying light generally.
 Say says Ag, appealing to the crowd. won't some kind friend who's fond of puzzles go down and help that gentleman do himselfT
 That made the whacker mad. He was as red in the face as a lobster.
 You come down and show what you can do.' says he. You've got gas enough for q balloon ascension. but that may be all there is to you
 "'Oh. I ain't so much says Aggy, although I'm as good a man today as ever I was fin my life. but have lit- tie friend here who can rope. down and ride that critter from here to the brick front in five minutes hy the watch. and if you've got a twenty-five dollar bill in your pocket or its equiv aIent In dust you can observe the ex- peTiment'
 ~TT go you. by gosh- says the bull vhsrker slau1fne his hat o1 the