The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1907-09-19

: MORE on LESS HUMOROUS.


MORE on LESS HUMOROUS. =
They Were Really Agreed.
From Lippincott's.
Timothy woodruff tells Of the effosts on
the part OF a kindly disposed man III Al
9bany to arbitrate between q man and his
wife who were airing their troubles on
the sidewalk one Saturday evening.
Look here. my man. exclaimed the
ALBANY man, at nee intervening In the
alteration, which was growing more n
more violent. this won't do you know!.
What business 10 1t OF yours? p" de-
manded the male combatant angrily.
ITS my business only SO far AZ I may
be OF service In settling this dispute" am
severed the other mildly, ..and ! should
hike very much to do that"
This amt no dispute" sulkly returned
the man.
mo dspute!" came in astonished tones
from the would be peace maker. why
you
II tell you tina 1t amt no dispute .
insisted the man. .'She thinks she amt I
Eoin' to get my weeks and /
know she aint! That amt no disputed"
For Once, the Farmers.
From the Kansas City Star.
AS oAiueIS IRE 10 Get Iuo D6neN OK
the reduction In grain rates, ordered by
the Interstate Commerce commission.
from 2 to 81 cents per hundred, and It II
claimed that 1t will save to the farmers
between 100000 and 100000 on tho
years crop. Can this be? Is 1t possible
that this advantage can be made to ac-
crue to the men who till the ground, sow
the seed and reap the grain and not be
absorbed by the commission men7 II SO.
then the farmers may be inspired by bene-
fits received to strive for other BENEFITS
long denied.
General prosperity has advanced tho
prices of farm products somewhat, but the
:1nterests' have SO organized and SO con-
trolled the handling agencies that tho
Farmers gains have never been common
surate with the added cost of agricul-
tural products to the people. The millers'
trust has reaped a larger benefit from
prosperity than the farmers hav The
packers trust has raised the prices OF
meats above all previous records. but the
FARMERS prices for live stock not ad-
Nanced accordingly. Last year the apple
crop and the peach crop were SO bountiful
that in many instances the farmers did
not gather all the fruit because the mar
%et would not receive it at a profit.
49,
His Greatest Hit.
From the San Francisco Chronicle.
Talking OF home plates, that reminds
| me-, Desan Brlck Morse, "Of the greatest
hit I ever made. It was at the old Rec
~reation grounds in San francisco. Final
game OF the series with Stanford: score
3 to 2.against us.
Remember the way that angle Of the
fence came in at center field? There was
one of those wooden drags used to smooth
OF the inf1eid. 1t had been left tilted up
against thai corner Of the fence, supposed
~ out OF the way.
II missed the first ball UP, lifted two pop
fouls over the backstop, let three bad ones
pass. had a rotten high one called on me,
and 1t looked all of for yours truly. The
next one came easy. / just shut my eyes
and swung with all my might. / felt my
hands sting on the bat. I weiA to first
Second! Three thousand people were up
yelling like maniacs, oh, you Brick
Home run. home rum I tagged a third
land went for the plate. Slid You've
gotta slider ounded In a roar like ar
express train crossing a trestle. Some
thing struck be a terrible smash on the
left side Of the head. Out! yelled the UNI
pire; hit by his own batted BALI My biz
the seat on that smoother-seat wal
mounted on old spiral bed springs-and th<
ball had rebounded clear back to thu
plate!"
How nea were you to home. Clinton7 p
inquired Fred Koch.
"Oh. / was home all right. When / am
to my fingers were touching the cornell
of the"
"Plate?"
"Nope; the bureau"