davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-02-24

his thrance he's havin' his first thor
ough im-up " ham an eggs. tn ciargy
ARE shown a wonderful amount iv
Interest in him, an he's rayceivin' at
tintions firm til Sheriff that must be
surprising to a man iv his humble
station.
"A few days later 1 r-read in tn pa
apers in a column called Brief News
Jottings'. just below paragraph about
tn meeting iv tt Dairyman's Assocy-
alton on account iv how justice has
pursooed her grim coorse in tn case w
John Adamowski. An I'm thankful to
know that tn law has been avinged
that life an property again ar-re safe
in our fair land " freedom. an that TIL
wretched criminal lived long enough to
get all ne wanted to eat.
Justice is all a poor criminal asks
f'r. an that's what he gets. He don't
desarve amy betther. lis like askin'
on'v FIR a pair iv dooces in a car-rd
game an havin' to bet thin. IL I done
wrong I'd say: Don't deal me amy
Justice. Keep it f'r thin that wants il.
IJndher tn circumstances all l ask is
a great deal iv injustice an much
mercy. / do not ask to be acquitted be
a jury " me peers. 1 am modest man
an III accept me freedom firm tn
humblest bailiff in tn land. ! do not
care to come triumphant out Nv this
ordeei an rapport other larceny cases
fr tn newspapers All ask is a
blocks start an some wan hoidin' tn
polismaH's coattaiis. I waive me right
TO be th-ied be an incorruptible. fair,
ar. onprejudiced Judge Give me wan
that's cnfair an prejudiced an that ye
can slip something to-,
NO. Sir. within mans broke an
does somethin' wrong. til only temple
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-02-24

er and a Coat reaching almost to His
Hips
Would their coming agitate the rug
ged Patriots of the New World as it
did on a former Occasion?
It will be recalled that the Mother
Country sent over the Cream of the
ArijtOcracy, but she did not figure on
it turning out TO be Whipped Cream.
Paul Revere saddled his nag and
went kiting down the Pike to warn the
countryside that the First Families
Were approaching.
Whereupon the Minute Men and
ether Citizens. who little suspected that
they were Ancestors. took down the
Muzzle Leaders and began shooting at
everything that looked Red
What would the present. day Mr.. Re-
we're do if he learned that several top
liners from England had disembarked
and were getting ready to move upon
the outlying Golf Links?
He would pour eight gallons of Case
line into the Tank and light the big
Bulls Eye and proceed to burn UP the
Boulevard
Soon lights would be twinkling in the
Country Home of every Patriot rated
at more than a Million.
Men with pale. set Faces and Wo-
men, trembling and hysterical, would
discuss with bated breath their plans
fer going out to meet the British.
In the Wine Cellar all would be hurry
and confusion.
Family Pedigrees would be brought
out and hastily rubbed up.
Many faithful Housewife would sit
by the Fireside until late at night
working or the Menu while the Daugh-
ter having retired to her own Apart
me1t. would spend sieepless hours try
ing to fix mp her Accent
Little Groups of Stock Brokers would
assemble in the Moonlight and whisper
over their deep-laid schemes for cap
turing the Foreigners before somebody
else got hold of them.
The original Minute Men were mod
erately eager to meet the distinguished
Visitors from England. but their meth
DDS were slow and Anticipated as COM
pared with those practiced by the wise
American of this Generation, who de-
mands not only Life, Liberty and the
Pursuit of Happiness, but a lot of other
things on the side.
Armed with Letters of Introduction.
Check Books and KOdaxs. the native
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-02-24
"W0LF! WOLFF"
The Boy Who Made People Jump
Every Day of the Year.

Once there was a Bad Boy who loved
To stampede the Sheep by yelling
wolf Wolf" about twice a day.
If the State Department had little
Family Tiff with the Court of St.
James. he would see a War Cloud on
the Horizon and start in to concentrate
the Naval Forces all by himself.
Whereupon the Sheep would huddle
together and get ready to unload their
securities.
If a furnishing Hobo broke into
Summer Kitchen and stole a Ham, he
would begin. shTieking about Carnival
of Crime and shake up the Police De-
partment.
If the Second Alto of the Church
Choir at Lonesomehurst eloped with
Piano Tuner he would announce a
Scandal in High Life and get the Sheep
so worked up that they would run
around I'm a Circle
He had trained pack of Disease
Germs that were always on the point
of rushing out to bite everybody in
sight.
1t was dull day when he could not
start an Epidemic.
About twice a week he would get out
his Megaphene and announce that the
entire Population. with the exception
of eight or nine Man-eating Sharks in
wall street WOuiu Sooi " pay ING
Checkers in the Poor House.
Every time he gave vent TO this ter
rified Whoop the Flock would bieat and
run to the other end Of the Lot and
sign a Petition, aud then go back to
eating Grass.
One day Friend took him to Task
for making such Loud Noise about
nothing in particular.
Don't you remember the Old Story ?"
asked the Friend. who was Conserva-
tive and did not believe in making a
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-02-24
LITTLE 30 PEEP.
She Made Them Sit Up and
Take Notice.

Little Bo-Peep had lost her Follow
ing of Percy's and didn't know how to
find them.
1t is all very well to say, Leave
them alone and they'll come home" but
when Girl has to fix her Hair GER
tain way and rub on a little of Madame
Somebody's Face Food in order to look
under twenty-five there is nothing in
that Waiting Game.
Womanly Pride dictates that she
shall go ahead burning Pictures on
Wood with a Hot Poker and never let
on even when the Door Bell begins to
suspect that some one has cut the
Wire.
On the other hand, ordinary Business
Sense would suggest that she had bet
ter get a large six-cylinder move on
herself
Little Bo-Peep realized that the Just
Cutters were putting up a very keen
Competition and would soon have her
in the Side-Pocket. In order to stay
in the Game, she adopted the Drama
as a Profession.
All her acquaintanees were surprised
TO read in the Papers that Society Girl
goes on Stage.
When they went to the Play House
and saw her come out with thirty 9TH
ers to sing 1--WE Got Such a Feeling for
a Girl in Wheeling" they were surely
proud OF her.
Then when her Picture appeared in
connection with an article entitled,
What Prominent Chorus Girls Have to
say About the Digging of the Panama
Canal" a good many Marked Copies
went through the Mail
The Stage Door Keeper had to send
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-02-24

What's an expert witness?" asked
Ar. Reaneszy.
Az expert witness" said Mr.. Doc
w. IS a dOctor that thinks a man
must be crazy to be rich. That's thrue
must " us, but these doctors don't
'usan 1t III way I do. Their theory is
e'a' ahnyihirg tn rich do that We
- 10 an cont do is looney. As
'eeh mo men with money. tn wan
"''n most money is craziest. If We
gu 1s d diploma f'r sanity, Hinnissy.
= , ehsnee ye have iv gettn' it IS
~ M. crime an file an invintory
o.. ,eer estate with tn court Yen
sh,a J Sefly-heate " sanity that ven be
a., . show with pride whin we're let
ma n n cd days if a man kilt another
l. ~ ~ ooh three jumps firm tn scene
n, c-. disaster to tn north corrydor iv
moor Nh. Jan. That still goes FIR til
hin, 's -. Ne man has thried to rob
snces,o1 pfiHelege won fr him be his
~ 49, - " eein' quickly an complete
took VIZ Photograph iv him is
fura a. sss a collar. he's yanked be-
muta ls -"'ai court iv justice. a deef-
his ;n,h. 'q Is appinted to look afther
suffer 49, an see that they don't
mospbs.s os'a kept in tn stuffy at
at,orns,- y u courtroom, tn States
him b'sa'nls handsome pitcher iv
JUDGE ,s. asaa IN human form. tn
diced ,,,- s'1'uets n jury iv onpreju-
thar M. IN hurry to get home
III law -. ARE the sole judges IL
l. ousb, "a faet. tn law bein' that
hin h, - De hanged an III fact
IRE our Is VII be hanged. an be-
s'o'e'ory fFind comes out "
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-02-24

Daily Fluff. this here has gone far
enough. TIL mans not guilty, an Il
ye don't want few remarks printed
about We. thatIl do We no good, yell
let him off, Don't pay any attintion
to what she says. Fifty says another
lady. Her decayed Newspaper has
no more circulation thin cucumber.
We expiet We to follow tn instructions
printed in our vallyable Journal this
mOInin''
Sir, says tall man r!sin' in his
place. I am tn Riv'rend Thompson
Jubb. Not tn NOTORIOUS shepherd w
that name7' "Th' same says tn Rtv'
rend Jubb. That loWly worker In tn
vineyard Nv tn Lerd who astonished tn
wurruld be atm glass in tn pulpit an
havin' tn Bible tattooed on him. / wish
th' privilege iv standin' on me head an
playin' "A charge to keep 1 have on
tn accordion with me feet Granted.
says tn coort. Il will now charge tn
jury as to tn law an tn fact; 1 am ali
mixed up on tn law; tn fact is there's
a mob outside waitin' to lynch xe If ye
don't do what it wants. TIL coort will
now adjourn be tn back dure.'
Where's tn pris'ner?' says TIL expert.
He has gone to address a mothers
meetin', says tn clerk. Thin l must
be goin' too says tn expert. An Tiers
We ar-re."
I'm glad that fellow got me of. 8
said Mr.. Hepnessy. but thin experts
ar-re a bad lot What's tn difference
between that kind w tistymony an
perjury
"ye pay ye're money an take yeer
choice, said Mr.. Dooley.
Copyright. 1907, by H. H. Mcclure &
Col
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-02-24
ROBINSON CRUSOE.
If Wrecked This Year 1t Would Be
Tough on the Island.

When Robinson Crusoe found him
helf laid out on the beach of Strange
Island. with no supplies except mis-
cellaneous lot of old Junk that resem-
bled a Rummage Sale. did he arrange
20 settle down and stay there?
Hardly.
He took a piece Of Wire, couple OF
Doorknobs and a Secondhand Battery
and rugged up Marconi Plant on the
topmost Peak.
Within two hours he was communal
eating with the Mainland 500 miles
away and had the Magazine Editors
bidding for the Serial Rights OF the
Story of his Marvellous Adventures.
Then he began stalking of the Island
into Mining Claims and arranged TO ad-
vertise and sell the 800 Shares Of stock
at 10 cents each to Messenger Boys,
Servant Girls and Widows.
Friday showed W soon after and was
made Vice President OF the Company
and Chief Expert I'm the Analysis of
Ores.
Robinson had two Press Agents
come out with the Relief Expedition,
and when he landed at home he found
over $50 Invitations from Literary
Clubs.
Copyright. 1867, by George AIDE in the
United States and Great Britain.)
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-02-24
lack SPRATT AND WIFE.
,usv They Put Breakfast Food on
.be Famous Platter.

III. err,tt could eat no Fat and his
vv,fe could eat no Lean, because STEAK
was % cents Pound.
Co most of the time they purchased
O highly advertised kind of Chop Feed
+,.a+ came in a Pasteboard Box with
taartifuI Wrapper around it.
sfrer dcvouring a Package OF ina
,vbicb reminded him of something u
eat Mr.. Spratt felt as refreshed ds Il
no had taken a Long Breath.
one daY while Mr.. Spratt was III ' nc
,.ountrv on his annual vacation. ny
went for a walk and came 10 -
Ior where a bearded StocknlaH 20
shoveling out 40-cent corn 10 sOiii0
broad and buxom Steers ....,ot.5
BEING a city Man he was attracted tl
nv Tho sight Of high-grade Beef 50 ne
sf,nnad TO converse with the Feeder.
He learned that the steers weighed
about 900 pounds each. and ne allowed
that they were very valuable AlililidlS'
win meat worth IS cents a pound:
You have been smoking, sald the
Stockman. taking a Market report
from the Pocket in ms W alllIhus.
..Those that are prime now tetch ABOUT
6 cents a pound at the Yards. MOST OF
them seem 70 De Ntlt I'll obOul a. pu
see the price fiuctuates- 1t goes up
and down. but principally down."
1T is strange that one in the Cattle
11ueiposs should be so ignorant" said
Mr.. spratt. "Who ever heard of the
Trice of Meat going down? 1t is being
boosted out of sight. / have watched
q for Years. wondering where 1t would
stop"
u have watched # for years and I
don't see much change, 20 said the Feed
or ct always wobbies around Fig
ure that keeps me guessing as to where
] am going to get of.
Mr.. Spratt. being keen Business
Man with a metropolitan training, gave
him a pointer.
aWhen the prices paid by the Con-
sumer are pushed up you should de-
clare yourself in on the Divvy," he
said.
can you see me trying TO take
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-02-24
PAUL REVERE'S RIDE.
What Might Happen If the British
Should Come This Way Again.

Suppose a body of British Soldiery
should swOoD down upon these Shores
and prepare to invade the most ex-
elusive Suburbs of New England?
The Company probably would include
Arthur Plantagenet Beachey, B. & S.
younger son of the Duke of SwOZzing-
ham; Major BTOmo Kelley, from one of
the Oldest Families in the County Ski
doc. Ireland; Brevet-Col. Percy Spit
ingtOn. Equerry-in- waiting to the
Whole Thing: to say nothing of Lef-
tenant Harry Spudd. of the Soho Fusi-
leeeTs, with d chest like a strike break k
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-02-24

Fuss over anything whatsoever. for
fear that it would disturb Existing
Conditions. If you keep on yelling
Wolf! Wolf when there isn't a Wolf
i'm the whole Township even the most
GulIible will take tumble after while
and your name will be Sweeney. NO
one will be alarmed when you begin
throwing an Epileptic Fit. Then when
a Wolf really does approach and you
Jump, I'D and down and tell everybody
to escape. the whole Drove, having
been fooled so often, viii think you are
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-02-24

for Calling Gun I'm order to keep the
Trappers out of the Alley.
She had invitations to eat, and those
who had barely a Speaking Acquaint-
ance with her sent Presents which she
came very near returning.
She married Young Man with a six
and a quarter head, who was such
thorough Bohemian that the Cabmen
did not like to haul him. and who found
it difficult to get in anywhere except at
Exclusive Homes
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-02-24
Il Bunch Of nloIdy Ones

springing another Fake, so they will
stand still and be eaten up
Rats" replied the Bad Boy. You
overlook the fact that the Great Amer
lean Public wants to be scared, and
never gets tired of going over the
Jumps"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-02-24

born Sons OF the Wilderness would
wait behind Rocks and Trees for a
chance to DOuuce out upon the naughty
BrtOns. smother them with Invitations
and sic a lot of Heiresses onto them
Any who escaped would be as lucky
as those who succeeded i'm getting away
from Lexington.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-02-24

Copyright. 1907. by H. H. Mcclure &
Col
The Cairo bulletin., 1907-03-26
STR|KEOf $4,000
RAILROADMEN1S
ALMOST CERTAIN
GENE RAJ MANAGERS REFUSE TO
GRANT DEMANDS OF EN-
PLOYES WHO HAVE VOTED
TO QUIT WORK.

Chicago, March 25A crisis has
been reas he'd in the negotiations be-
ween the railroads and their EN-.
ployes over the wage question and
lit is now up to the general man
ayers" according to the representa-.
tyes of the so 900 railroad employees
who have voted to strike unless their
demands are complied with. The re-
ply Of the general managers IS I'VE
have conceded all we can"
Poth sides viii met Ia conference
tomorrow and unless there is back
down on one side OF the other the
most gigantic strike in the history
of transportation in this country ap-
pears imminent.
Forty railroads with tihckage Of
$4,000 miles and an annual pay roll
of s32O,090,o00 are standing together
or the proposition. Opposed stand
$4,000 trainmen and conductors.
The men demand an increase of 1914
per cent and working day of nine
hours. The general managers have
offered q 10 per cent increase without
the nine hour work day
The Cairo bulletin., 1907-03-26
JUDGE UPHOLDS
LIABILITY ACT
CONGRESS HAS POWER TO PRO
TECT MEN ENGAGED IN HAND.
LING OF COMMERCE, SAYS
JUDGE SPEER.

Macon Ga, March 25.-IInited
States Judge Emory Speer today in a
decision in the case of Lucy Snead,
administrators, against the Central Of
Georgia railway. upheld the consiitu-
tiouality of the employers liability act,
passed by last congress.
The decision is opposed to those
made by United States Judge Evans
at Louisville and Judge Mccall at
Memphis, who declared the act re-.
pugnant TO the constitution of the Uni
ted States.
Speer declares that 10 commend, TO
prohibit and TO protect men engaged
in the handling of commerce whether
interstate or foreign, is within the do
main of national legislative regula-
tlon. Congress having the right TO
control commerce on the high ssas as
established by he courts repeatedly,
1t follows. he holds. that IT. has the
right to control transportation by land
of the same commerce.
The Cairo bulletin., 1907-03-26
JUDGE IS SILENT
AS TO THAW CASE
FITZGERALD, AFTER ARRIVING AT
COURT SEVERAL HOURS LATE
ADJouRNs WITHOUT MAKING
ANNOUNCEMENT.

New York. March 25.-ln anticipa
ion OF some action on the part Of Jus
tice fitzgerald r gard.ng the appoint
ment Of lunacy commission for Har-
ry X. Thaw. District Attorney Jerome
and all counsel for the defense were
present in the criminal bianch of the
supreme court this morning al II
O'Clock.
justice Fitzgerald had fixed that
hour for notifying the lawyers in the
case if be hould desire further evil
deHce from either SIDE Of any sort.
Fitzgerald did not arrive. however
until sft1r } O'Clock
When he finally took his place on
the bench he merely went through the
formality Of having he court session
adjourned until Wednesday morning
Fitzgerald made no annouBcems ut
whatever.
The Cairo bulletin., 1907-03-26
SCORE INJURED
WHEN zoo PANIC
ATP|CTURESH0W
EXPLOSION OF NATURAL GAS
WRECKS FIVE CENT THEATER
AND SPECTATORS ARE HURT
IN MAD RUSH.

Greenfield Ind, March 25.-Twenty
four persons were injured, some ser
iously and two story building oc-
cupied by a five cent theater with
moving pictures, was wrecked tonight
by an eXplo len OF natural gas used
to heat the building.
About two hundred persons were in
The bu lding at the time of the expo.
sion, and in the panic that followed.
men. women and children rushed for
the doors, trampling on one another.
The house was crowded and the
opening number en- the program had
scarcely been rendered when with
loud noise the portion of the building
behind the curtain seemed to collapse
and the flooring and debris was
thrown out into the audience Then a
mad rush for the doors began. For
tunately the debris di not take fire.
The Cairo bulletin., 1907-03-26
NJ REYNOLDS GETS
PRISON SENTENCE
FORMER PROMINENT CHICAGO
cRAIN MAN MUST DO TIME
FOR FRAUDULENT USE OF
WAREHOUSE RECEIPTS.

Chicago, March 25.-S. McReynolds
formerly a prominent member Of the
Chicago Board OF Trade, was today
sentenced to an indeterminate term
in the peaitentiary on a charge OF
removing from his elevators grain cn
which warehouse receipts mad pre-
viously been issued The sentence
may Tun anywhere from one to ten
years.
NcRoynolds failed January Is. 1906
and was convicted September Il. The
specific charge on which the verdict
Of gully was based was that MeRev-
nolds. after borrowing money from
Corn Exchange National bank Of this
city had removed and sold grain.
pledged a. security without ebtainlng
The consent CT the holders Of the
grain receipts. The removal Of the
grain s said 10 have caused banks in
this city. New York and Boston an
loss o; about 100000
The Cairo bulletin., 1907-03-26
FINAL BLOW OF
WAR DELIVERED.
NlcARAGUAN FORCES CAPTURE
TEGUclGALPA CAPITOL or
HONDURAS.
SOLDIERS SACK TOWN
And Outrage women and Citizens,
Says General--Honduran Troops
Hanned and MutiIate
Prisoners.

Washington, March rs. Senior Co
rea, Nicaraguan minister, tonight re
ceivcd q dispatch from President ze
laya, OF Nicaragua, announcing the
capture and occupation OF Tegrcigal
pa, capital Of Honduras.
The capture Of Tegucigalpa coupled
with the recent defeat OF the forces
of Honduras and Salvador at Cholu-
teca and the flight Of President Bon
lla OF Honduras. ends the latest Cen
trail American war
Il Is now probable hat Nicaragua
will install another president at Tegu
cigalpa in lieu Of Bonilla and then
withdraw her troops to her own terri.
tory.
The Cairo bulletin., 1907-03-26
DISCARDED LOVER
STAYS DIVORCE
CHOIR SINGER OF GiRARD. ILL.,,
MURDERED ON INTERURBAN
CAR BY OLD FLAME.
CLIMAX or BIG SCANDAL
Which Wrecked Two Homes Came
When Assaiant Found That
Woman Had Written to
Former Husband.

Carlinville, M. March 25.-The
love Of Peter s. Clark, former
Equitable Life Assurance agent for
Ollie Gibson. society leader Of Girard
and divorced wife of w. e. Gibson
which Is said TO nave wrecked two
homes. was turned to bitter Jealousy
today, when Clark believed she had
discarded him and when he enacted a
tragedy involving Masonic, church
and domestic relations of people
well knowa throughout Macoupin
county.
Just as an Illinois Traction Intemr-
ban car, on which Clark and the for
mer choir singer were passengers,
was approaching iVrden, Clark went
toward Mrs Gibson as she was read
ing a letter she had written to her
former husband, pleading for re-
conciliation, and whipped out a revol-
yer, shooting the woman four times
in the head. There was panic in
the speeding car, men, women and
children struggling to get to the
doors.
Mrs. Gibson was taken to Spring
field on the car in which the shooting
occurred. She died in hospital
there tonight.
Clark offered but little resistance
to the men who ran to his side after
the tragedy. Before he was placed
on southbound car to ln brought
The Cairo bulletin., 1907-03-26
TWO LITTLE BOYS Run
OVER BY A BIG AUTO,
ONE EXPECTED TO Die.

Padncah. KY, March 25.--Abe si.
mon, aged 10, and Nose Marks. aged
8 years. were run over at Fourth and
Broadway. at 3 o'clock this afternoon
by A. Gamer. driving big double,
seated automobile. The boys started
across the path to, catch street car.
and did not observe the approaching
fiIachinas Garner tried to reverse. but
could not stop before the boys were
hit. Their unconscious bodies were
taken from underneath the wheels.
The former had his right leg b:okon
In two places and Is thought 10 be
fatally injured in the head, His com
panion escaped with severe bruises.
The Cairo bulletin., 1907-03-26
LOW DEATH RATE
ON THE |SIHMUS
ONLY TWO DEATHS AMONG 5.555
WHITE LABoRERS IN CANAL
ZONE ClED DURING MONTH
OF FEBRUARY.

Washington. March 25.-Onlv two
deaths occurred among 5.555 white
laborers in the canal zone during
February. Black water fever caused
one Of these deaths and tube cul- sis
the other. No deaths were reportei
among the 800 American women and
children on the lsthmus.
The sick rate was p for every
1000 persons for the msnth Pnea-
monia vas more prevalent than any
ether disease. % casCs beg reported
Three eases Of small pox. taken from
incoming ships. were treated IN the
zone hospital The ANIMAL deth rate
tas now fallen ~ per cent per 1000.