Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1907-08-17
BY f. p. dunno.

goin' to sind tn navy to tn Pas
syfic'
II see we're not too" said Mr.
Dooley. There's two sides to iv'ry
question an in Washington there are
twinty-two to iv'ry answer. Wan
day sees tn navy tearin around tn
Horn, not to intimydate tn Japs,
mind We, but ony to show thin that
If they're lookin' FIR throuble they
can have it without movin' out iv
their back yards. Another day tn
navy is still at home eXplodin itsilf
TIL navy gun her name was Maude.
wudden't want to be in front iv
wan iv thin gr'reat injines iv des-
thruction but if / had to make me
choice an all tn places underneath
were taken, I'd rather be in front
thin behind. FIR purposes iv safety
they ought to be pointed tn other
way. If war comes tn minyit we
turn our guns on tn inimy t will
be all over with him.
mo, sir, l can't tell whether TIL
navy is goin' to spend tn rest iv its
days protectin' what Hogan calls our
insulted possessions in tn Oryent or
whether it is to remain in tn neigh
borhood iv Barnstable maxim tn
GLACIERS iv New England rich be-
yond tn dhreams iv New England
avarice, which ARE hopeful dhreams.
TIL cabinet is divided tn sicrety Nv
tn navy is divided, tn prisidint is
divided an tn press is divided. Wan
in Paris, has ardhered tn navy to re-
port at San Francisco at four eight
next Thursday. Another great iditor
Twin in Germany has warned it that
it will do so at it's peril. Nawthin'
is SO fine as to see great modhern
Journalist unbend firm his mighty task
iv selectin' firm a bunch iv photty-
CRAFTS tn prettiest cook iv Flatbush
or engineerin' with his great fur
rowed brain tn Topsy Fizzle compy-
tition to trifle with some light warm
weather subjict like International
law or war. But men such as these
can do anything.
But, anyhow, what difference
does it make whether tn navy goes
to tn Passyfic or not? If it goes at
all it won't be to make war. They've
dumped all tn fourteen inch shells
into tn sea. The ammunition hoists
ar-re filled with American beauty
roses an orchids. TIL guns are load
ed with confetty. TIL officers dhrink
nawthin- stronger thin vanilla an
strawberry mixed. Whin tn tars go
ashore they hurry at wanst to tn
home iv tn Christyan Indeavor So
ciety or throng tn free libries readin'
religious pothry. Me frind Bob Evans
is goin' to contribute a series iv
Particles to tn Ladies Home Journal
on crashaying. FIR tn Hague Peace
Conference has abolished war, Hin
Missy. Ye've seen tn last war yell
liver see, my boy.
9Th Hague conference, Hinnissy,
was got up be tn Gar Nv Rooshya
just before he moved his army again
tn Japs. 1t was a quiet day at st.
Petersburg. TIL prime minister
had Just been blown up with dinny-
mite ,th' Cars uncle had been shot
an wan iv his cousins was eXpirin'
firm dose iv proosic acid All was
comparative peace. In tn warrum
summers Afternoon tn Gar felt
almost dhrousy as he set in his rile
palace an listened to tn low, monot-
onous drone iv bombs bein' hurled at
tn Probojensky guards, an picked tn
| broken glass out iv tn dhrink thatd
| just been brought to him be an aged
servitor who was prisidint Nv tn
! Saint Petersburg lodge iv Patriotic
| Assassins TIL monarch's mind turned
| to tn subjicl1 iv war an he says to
nimsilf: What a dhreadful thing it
is that such beautiful wurruld shud
be marred be thousands iv Innocent
| men bein' STINT out to shoot each other
FIR no cause whin they might betther
| stay dI HOlle dill Wullu h lACil lHS
! nasthers' he says. I will disguise
mesilf as moojik an go over to TIL
tillygraft Office an summon a meetin
iv TIL Powers he says.
| That's how it come about. All tn
powers stint dillygates an gr-reat
! nanny iv tn weaknesses did so too.
| rhey met last week in Holland an
| they have been devotin' all their time
since to maxim war impossible in tn
| future. TIL meetin' was opened with
an ACRIMONIOUS debate over resolu-
ton offered be dillygate firm Parry
quay calm FIR immeejit disarmamint,
/ which is tn same, Hinnissy, as noti-
| fin tn Powers to turn in their guns
to tn man at tn dure. This was
| carried be a very heavy majority.
Among those that voted in favor iv it
were: Paraguay, Uruguay, Switzer-
land, Chiny, Belgium an San Marine.
Opposed were England, France, Roo
shya Germany, Italy, Austhree, Japan
an the United States.
This was regarded be all present
as a happy auggry. Tn convintion
! thin discussed resolution offered be
tn Turkish dillygate abolishin' war
altogether This also was carried,
on'y England, France. Rooshya, Ger
many, Italy, Austhree, Japan an tn
|