New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1907-03-17
COURTSHIP REFORMS.
Views Of Professor Of Sociology on
This Family Subject.

Ide0s IN regard TO some reforms in the customs
Of coa;fship. in Social Duties Relating 70 the
Family" are presented by Dr. Charles Richmond
Henderson, % the University Of chicago, 6n The
current Issue q 1.-The Biblical World"
'Courtship is n recognition Of The freedom and
personal rights Of woman" he says. for where
marriage in decided by force. where the wife is
bought from the parents like a COW. or where she
IS compelled 20 marry 10 secure a fortune from n
rich fool, there her personality is not respected.
Compulsory marriage is mark OF low civilization,
and in fashionable society there is sometimes re-
turn.to barbarism. The offer of a title purchase
price Of youth and wealth IS this level OF Z
lower and earlier stage Of culture. Our ancestors
sold and bought wives openly. and without shame;
perhaps may still observe what historians and
naturalsts call survivais. There IS a nobler way.
Young persons of both sexes should be taught
Tor they VIII not otherwise duly think Of IL. that
the conscious effort of a young man win young
woman IN courtship is a step toward marriage, the
union Of one man 10 one woman for life. Many
merry hour may properly be passed in the genial
society Of others without any purpose Of marriage;
but courtship IL II is honest upright, Christian is
q series OF acts intended end in the establish
ment Of a fsmily. If 1t is not that 1t IS false.
cruel selfish. and must END in sorrow Of some de
gree and kind
In me light OF the facts and OF the ideal of
couItsfip, one can judge certain kinds Of conduct
which are only too common. although they not
always adopted with deliberate purpose 10 injure
or deceive. Flirting is a too familiar mode of
attracting attention and winning love. perhaps only
70 cast II aside. The cruelty Of tnsincere encour-
sgenent to declarations Of love- whether by man or
woman, is unspeakable Why should a sacred tree
be planted and made 10 until its form is
necessary 10 the mind and its roots deep in the
earph only 70 pluck it up bleeding away its life.
and leave il 10 perish? Is there anything honor
able in tie boast Of 'conquests'?
Failing in love is sometimes praised a vir-
cue. and often considered natural and harmless.
And # is not to be denied that the mutual admra-
ton by which two young persons are sometimes AT
their first meeting suddenly and strongly attracted
% another may be The beginning Of a pure and
permanent love.
s'True rational Christian love IN married persons
includes solemn purpose TO perform the duties of
marriage and 70 endure its trials in view OF the
importance Of marriage 10 society. proverh
condenses IN brief phrase the wisdom Of ages:
MARRY in haste and you will repent at leisure
Extravaganza during the time of courtship may
De checked by sensible girls 1t may not he wise
for young man 10 seek the companionship OF a
woman whose demands upon his purse are more
than he can honestly meet Not seldom are moral
lapses IN business due 10 the temptation of young
men Entrusted with money 10 use what does not be-
long 10 them in purchasing flowers paying for car
Fdage hire and other expenses, while in pursuit OF
wife Without attempting 10 answer them.
may start these inquiries: Why should girl ac-
cept costly presents from one who is not her nus
band? Is II not questionable taste? is Il not some
thing akin 10 begging? Does wise woman Ike TO
her love?
How young people should conduct themselves
during the period OF courtshi9 after the promise
Of marriage is problem TO which too little careful
thought has been given. II ought to be seriously
considered by parents. teachers and young people
who value purity, unspotted reputation and re-
ligious obligation. Engaged persons have made
serious VOW ana ordinarily lhey should hold them
selves TO keep It unless there IS strong reason for
breaking Off the relation. But engagement is not
actual marriage in realty, morals or law. Not In
volving the duties Of marriage. il cannot give the
rights of marriage. IN some countries engagement
IS often regarded equivalent marriage, espe-
ciaIv among workingmen in crowded tenement
houses and this leads 10 many scandals and lib
critics. from which the suffers most OF the
evil without having legal protection.
Modesto and dignity do not dampen strong affec-
ton, but make the liglt Durn brighter into old
VALUE OF CoURTsHIP.
''rhe period Of courtshi!o IS an opportunity for
discrimination. selection. reason. Hence il should
not begin too early in life. Sometimes temporary
time Of separation for reflection and comparison.
with change Of scene may help the young people
70 make the lifetime decision with greater wisdom
The conclusion OF his neriod is but new begin
ming. Love has illusions; for II idealizes its
object; It transforms the shallow. pretty girl into
creature % majesty and character: Il causes the
mean scamp 70 loom up IN The brilliant fancy OF a
girl in mist magailed a thousand diameters OF
moral greatness.
'Courtshp is made all the more frivolous by the
current mode Of speaking and thinking OF divorce
II marriage can be lightly dissolved then a mis-
hake IN selecting a wife accepting husband II
Is imagined, viii not prove very serious But a
couriship which does not mean fidelity for life &c
like rose with worm eating our its heart like a
Tree growing IN scaDt soil The very idea Of d.
NOIce' covert under al the outward protestations
q undying devotion, not only endangers the sta
nility OF marriage, but degrades courtship Itself
ahd turns The solemn Of lovers into heart
less hypocrisy A tacit lie turks IN every word Of
aftectlon and robs the happest and sweetest mo.
1nent OF al the fresh bloom OF sentiment The
very phrase trial marriages. recently made popu-
saf IS rank poison Marriages Of criminals are all
-blA marriages rs those OF brutes and savages
are EFei hint OF descending 10 those neither
Ga1ion. SD
In the stage Of oourtship wise and GOOD .o.-
women have great educational power Let ms bs,e
one generation Of ,'oung women sensible and saIg
possessed enough 10 think and to reject from all
aFlendiy oompanionshiD young men who are IN
temperate unclean, guilty Of sowing Wild oats
proiane' coarse; and the next generation n nor %
numerous would reflect more lustre on the ren,b
Ais woman VINO marries man 10 reform
IN i-aS TAKEN a viper 10 warm AT her heart The
son 81 millionaire is likely 10 imagine that m
need not be virtuous because he can gain ~,
mana OF good woman on account OF hts ,jcbas
inc divorce courts IRE witnesses OF tragedies sris
Ahs from such bunders on both sides Alirnon,, te
q poor substitute for tho happiness Of a rational
snarraee.
PREPARATION FOR MARRIAGE.
Honest courtship. the offer and acoentancs n,
a Friendship which means marriage sbo,,I7 Ioa,
young persons 20 prepare for marriage T-,r a..
young woman this means in addition "a e. -