davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Vinita daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1902-1913, 1907-11-12
BUILDING or a wIrlclsM.
PsInt Of joke the Same Though
Undsr Changed Conditions.

The bohemian had an article enti-
tied, How a Joke Is Made" In it
Marshall p. Wilder, the well known
humorist. cites this story as an illus
tration OF one method. Here Is a
story with a Joke IN II about Labou-
chere, the genial editor OF London
Truth. When he was standing for
the borough Of Northampton for the
English parliament little girl came
up to her father and said: Papa, no
made Mr.. Labouchere? Why, Provi-
dence. my dear. answered the some
what astonished parent. And what
for. papa? inquiries the child. Now
that isn't bad joke. 1t was natural.
anyway. But listen to one Of mine.
which really has the same point.
though 1t is brought out in a different
way. A child and her mother are on
the cars. Opposite them sits a young
man dressed in the height OF fashion.
Says the child: Mamma, what is
that? and. as she asks the question,
she points to the young man opposite.
Hush. my dear. answers the mother.
But, mother. want to know. To
quiet the ch44d the mother whispers in
her ear: He Is what we call dude.
dear The child persists as usual in
gaining some more information. And
who made him, mammar Why,
Providence. dear. OF course. replies
tho mother soto voice, whereat the
child e1claims: oh. mother. doesn't
Providence like to have fun some
timesg You see, the stories are real
~ alike. AT all events. the point is
the same"
The Vinita daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1902-1913, 1907-11-12

If there is a chance to boom
business, and thus boom your
town. boom it. Don't put on a
long face and look as though you
had stomach ache. Hold up
your head, smile and look for
better things. Hide your little
hammer and try to speak well Of
others, no matter how small you
may know yourself to be.
The Vinita daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1902-1913, 1907-11-12

Within an hour. Important. Good
by" The Harlemits grumbled. won
dered Why business should follow =
tired man into his home, got into his
boots, kissed his wife and hustled for
the hotel. His friend was waiting for
him in the Waldorf cafe. Well, Jim. {"
he said, what is 1t? What's upg'
What's up?" echoed Jim. why.
I'm as lonely as q castaway tonight.
Want company--some one to talk
with What viii yor drink Jim Is
g bachelor.
The Vinita daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1902-1913, 1907-11-12

\ When a man in search Of a
home or business location goes
TO a town and finds everybody
full Of hope and enthusiasm over
the prospects Of the place, he,
too, soon becomes imbued with
tho same spirit. drives down his
stakes and goes to work with
equalinterest.
The Vinita daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1902-1913, 1907-11-12

When a stranger drops into
town, jolly him. Tell him this is
a great little city-and so it is.
Don't discourage him by speak
ing i'll of your neighbors. Lead
him to believe he has at last
struck a place where people OF
the right sort live.
The Vinita daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1902-1913, 1907-11-12

One at Nineveh Seems TO Be Entitled
20 the Distinction.

There was kind OF public record
once attached to the palace and tenn
pie at Nineyeh, IN which It was Gus
tomary to deposit important legal and
other documents. such as contracts
and agreements for the purchase and
sale of property, marriage settlements.
Wills. etc. Among these there were
discovered ofieial statements as to
the history and transactions OF the
eminent banking house OF Egidu at
Nineveh. Assyrian chronology proves
that these refer 70 a date about $500
years before the Christian era. when
Abraham dwelt at Or Of the Chaldees,
as is stated In Genesis. We may.
therefore, claim for this firm the repu-
tation of being the oldest bank in the
world. at least, Of which We have any
record, or are likely to have. The
accounts are very voluminous, and
cover the transactions Of i've genera
tions Of the house from father to son.
The firm grew rapidly in Importance
during this period, during which they
attained great wealth; for they had
succeeded in securing from the king
the appointment Of collectors Of taxes,
a position which in the east always
leads TO fortune. They afterwards
framed the revenue for several Of the
Assyrian provinces. with very great
gain to the firm
The Vinita daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1902-1913, 1907-11-12

A Harlem (N. Y) resident after a
busy day was seated restfully at home
when the telephone bell rang, says a
New York letter. Meet me at the
Waldorf within an hour" called an
intimate friend at the other end Of
the wire must see you Dent fail
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-12-14
Bones and Their Places.

1t was a collOquy at a north side
butchers shop. "Oh," said the little
woman, that's an awful big bone in
that small steak. l don't like to have
to pay for all bone"
'Yes'm," said the butcher, politely,
but with a touch Of irony in his answer,
"that do seem to be a good deal of
bone, but the animals what's comm to
this market now seems to have more or
less bone in 'em. And really as animals
is built now I don't see how they can
get along without bones."
THAT may all be true" said the lit
tie woman, and there was a wicked
twinkle in her eye, ''but this morning
found a good sized bone in the sausage,
and 1 leave 1t to you, honest now,
don't you think that is going a little too
far?"
And the butcher could not say a word
in reply-Indianap News.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-12-14
ARE BEES WILD BEASTSP
Can't Have the First Sting-Their
Legal Position In Europe.

Can't Have the First Sting-Their
Legal Position In Europe.
The Law Journal Of London prints
two interesting cases concerning the
rights Of beekeepers and their neigh
bors. In one case the question Of prop
erty In bees was the Issue; in the other,
it was q question Of nuisance.
"a beekeeper's swarm flies into a
neighbours garden and settles on an
apple tree" says the Law Journal.
First question: Has the beekeeper
still the property in the swarm, or has
it become his neighbours and annexed
to the ownership Of the tree?'
ANSWER: The swarm is still the
property of the beekeeper, but he can
not go and recover 1t, If the neighbor
objects, without committing a trespass.
And this is what the neighbor In Guam
trll VS.. Spragge did.
"He not only objected to the bee
keeper coming after his property, but
he shook down the swarm from the
apple tree, with the result that the bees
were lost. Now, in this he was wrong.
The shaking down Of the swarm was
not only an unneighborly act, but tor
tuous in law.
'It was an act analogous to the case
where a man drives trespassing cattle
on his land to a great distance, or
hunts them off with a fierce dog, in
which case he Is liable for injury, If
any, done to the property in the cattle
Here, then, was q contest of demerits,'
trespass on one side, tort on the other,
a conflict best met, the learned judge
thought, by making each party pay his
own costs.
''In another case-of nuisance-the
beekeeper had ten hives with 100000
bees at work, and he might fairly con-
graduate himself on the law-abiding
instincts of his swarms, for they had
only stung five persons in two years;
still, it was too much for the stung
plaintiff, who was not satisfied with a
boarding which the beekeeper had prov
identity set up, but claimed an interim
Injunction to restrain the keeping Of
the bees altogether, so near his prop
erty.
'In the course. of the argument the
theory was preached on behalf of the
beekeeper that "a bee is entitled to his
first sting; but this is erroneous A
bee is ferae naturae, not mansuetae
naturae, like a dog, and must be kept
as a tiger is-at the keepers peril"
That Is to say the bee is of the ma
ture Of a wild beast, not a tame one.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-12-14

here and there are they heard OF. The
few peaches offered for sale show pain
ly that they are produced by their own
exertlons; they have never known cult
walton. With the exception Of green
corn, cabbage and beans, the fruits Of
the earth are Self-made In western
North Carolina the husbandman Is not
in alliance with nature. The native
beef is second rate, though the lamb
and mutton are excellent. Indeed,
lambs chops and roasting ears are the
redeeming foods Of the country. Poul-
try and eggs could be produced at NOM
inal cost, but the supply is never plenti-
full and the prices are always high.
OF course, 1t is not intended to say
that there is nothing to eat. Visitors
with plenty of money do not starve, but
the opportunity is present for the
mountain people to cultivate numerous
crops, (which they could sell at excel
lent profit
The mountaineers are not lazy. To
walk fifteen miles to WayneSville or
Hendersonville with a pail of buckle
berries which will sell for 40 cents re
quires physical energy. The trouble is
ignorance. The same kind Of energy
exerted in the care of peach trees, in
fertilizing them, and in spraying them,
would yield So instead OF 40 cents.
Outside of the towns and the splen-
did valleys, the North Carolina noun
taineers are a race going to waste.
Hardy, brave, honest and intelligent,
they are languishing in the Iullest pow
erty, they are shivering in rags when
the winter sets in, for no otner reason
than that there is no one 20 tell them
how to do; to arouse them; to start
them on the easy route to a comforta-
BILE condition Of life.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-12-14
LEGAL INFORMATION.
~N~~~~~O~~

Those in charge of a steamship ere
ating waves which endanger the lives
of the occupants Of a smaller boat near
it are held, in Daniels VS.. Carney
(AIa.), L. r. A. IN. So 920, to be
bound to stop the norma. operation Of
their boat until the small boat has
passed out of the zone of danger.
Consent by a man to an operation
upon his insane wife upon taking her
to a hospital is held, in Pratt VS.. Davis
(In), Z L. R. A. On. So COO, to be
exhausted when the operation is per-
formed and she is taken away, so as
not to justify another operation If she
subsequently returns to the institu-
ton.
A contract for free transportation for
life on a railroad, in consideration of
the release of damages for injuries,
is by the United States Circuit Court
for the Western District of Kentucky,
in Motley VS.. Louisville and N. r. Co.,
$50 Federal Reporter, 400, held not to
be abrogated by the provision of the
Interstate Commerce Act of 1906 pro-
hibiting the issuance of free transport
tatiOn.
The absence of official birth records
in this country generally often makes
it difficult to prove a persons age in
our courts. Evidence of varying nature
is relied on to supply this want of
official records. In Priddy VS.. Boyce,
90 Southwestern Reporter, 1855, the
Missouri Supreme Court gives it's sane
ton to the use of properly certified
copies of the United States census for
this purpose.
The New Jersey Corporation Act it
has been held implicitly grants power
to a corporation to purchase its own
shares for legitimate purposes, but in
Knickerbocker Importation Co. VS..
State Board of Assessors, 60 Atlantic
Reporter, 913, the New Jersey Court Of
Errors and Appeals holds that this i'm
piled grant does not authorize a cor
pOration to acquire its stock to be held
as treasury stock"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-12-14

Fmoktng his cigarette, and reading
through all the evening hours
Her idea of happiness was seeing her
friends at home and abroad, going from
one amusement to another. Needless TO
gay, neither Of them found what they
sought; each was disappointed in the
Other.
at first they had made some attempt
60 meet each others views, but neither
being inclined to make much concession,
and both believing the other to be ut
terly in the wrong, things did not work
tremendously, consequently they diverg-
Cd instead of drawing together, until
that stage of semi-coldness was reached
Which is fatal to married life.
John Hammond had something of
This kind in his mind as he stood 1T
the window. He felt bitterly That life
IN one aspect was a failure. Not In
business, for In that he had been sue
eessful beyond his hopes. A Junior
partner in the large East Indian house
where he had entered as clerk, he did
not need to be told that the ball lay
ut his feet.
Suddenly an idea struck him. He re-
Volyed it In his mind; then his face
frightened.
a young man was wanted to go to
India for three years. The firm was
making an unavailing attempt to find
this young man, for those without en-
Eumbrance, active, healthy, honest, and
steady, are not plentiful as blackber-
rieS
Why not offer himself? Who so suit
able us the junior partner? He could
not stand lis present life much longer,
ne told himself. Eleanor and he got
further apart every day. She thought
Of nothing but going out, or filling the
house with people when she knew how
he loved quiet. And she was losing
All her beauty; late hours were not kept
Tor nothing. Why couldn't she be CON
tent to spend her evenings quietly at
home with her husband?
He forgot In his impatience that a
lively mind is apt to find 1t somewhat
dull to sit and watch a man, even If K
be her husband, reading a book that
never seemed to end. and smoking an
eternal pipe, or worse those cigarettes
which left so much of themselves be-
hind.
Il declare I'll CO." he said aloud, and
. flush Of excitement rose TO his brow.
sand If like the life. why, I'll stay.
We should be better apart, If only this
affair were over"
The affair to which he alluded was
The expectation Of an addition to his
family, but the idea caused him no
thrill OF JOY. 1t would only be another
bone OF contention between them. The
child would be neglected by the neither
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-12-14
METAPHOR UP TO DATE.
| Preachers Reference to Wireless
| TeIegraphy EvOlzes History.

Preachers Reference to Wireless
TeIegraphy EvOIxes History.
''The Fifth avenue preacher who COM
pared the celebrity of the mind with
wireless telegraphy made an instanta-
neous hit" said a pewholder. From
where 1 sat could see a sudden uplook
in the congregation.
''The preacher Of to-day has got to
keep up with the gait After the SER
vice met the young preacher and COM
plimented him on his apt metaphor. He
said it was necessary to speak in the
language Of the hour in order to inter
est the listeners.
"I have preached on that same sub
ject BEFORE he said, not recently, but
several times in the last twelve years.
1 remember that my first metaphor was
the arrow. l thought that was pretty
swift. 1 was younger then.
"'Upon thinking it over it occurred
to me that l might have used the bull
let fired from a gun to convey the idea
Of rapidity. SO the next time l took
up the subject l substituted 1t for the
arrow. An old minister picked me up
on it. He said bullet got there in a
hurry, but it was distanced by thought.
"'He told me that he himself had
made some progress on the subject,
and related that when he first tackled
it many years before he had spoken of
mental operation being as rapid as a
mans tumble from q roof. That was
before the days of the locomotive
"Later on in life he compared the
action of the mind with the flight Of
the fast mail. That was about the
time the fast mail trains were inau-
gurated. And then he quit. He said
he couldn't keep up with what was
happening.
"tAnd so 1 got a pointer from my
dear old brother, who afterward be-
came q bishop. and learned from him
the necessity of keeping up with the
daily procession In my metaphors and
SMILES. knew a minister who, in
speaking of anything where the idea Of
swiftness was discussed, always said
1t was like a house afire. That would
be very tame now.
$50 to-day in thinking over this
part of my discourse before / went into
the pulpit, when l wanted a metaphor
1 hit on wireless telegraphy. AS
things are going fifty years from now
my successor will probably find 1t nee
essary to use some other metaphor,
something that will be in keeping with
the instant.
"sThe time is coming, I doubt not,
when it won't do for a man to keep
up with the procession. He will have
to get ahead of it in order to be sue
ceSSful.'
GAS 1 left the church the idea I'M
folded. 1t seemed to me that every
man l saw was engaged IN getting
ahead of the throng. l caught myself
wishing for wings in place Of legs"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-12-14
GO Q 1q1Ib ,
Il|III!jII1l9AzfE5
Good Roads Wanted.

It is strange to hear that Illinois Is
ahead Of some other States in the
amount Of improvement given to roads.
proved s per cent of her roads, while
Missouri has improved only 2 per cent
Of hers and Iowa only / per cent.
But 8 per cent is very little by COM
parison with Indiana and Ohio, which
have each improved more than 33 per
cent Of their roads. Even 33 per cent
does not indicate that the people Of In
diana and Ohio have done much, though
they are ahead of Illinois.
The indifference Of Illinois people and
of people in all parts of the country, TO
good roads is astonishing. Farmers are
paying every year penalty of millions
Of dollars to bad roads, which make
transporting the products of their
farms to market much more expensive
than should be necessary. Yet it Is al
most impossible to interest them in the
question Of improvement. They do not
seem to realize that, If Illinois were
gridironed with good roads, the value
Of farms would be doubled, or that,
more than this, life would be much
more attractive in the country than at
present. There can not be trolley lines
everywhere, and good roads would en-.
able communication between city, town,
village and country to be easy and free.
Many parts of Illinois are almost in
accessible during winter, owing to the
wretched condition Of the roads. The
farmer is isolated and isolation brings
gloom and despair. Good roads would
not only result in improving the fnan-
cial condition Of farmers, but would
also make them better satisfied with
life.
The good roads movement is a move
ment for the welfare Of the nation, as
one Of the members Of the good roads
conference has we'll said, and it should
be aided in every way possible. Moth
ing is more important to Illinois than
good transportation Chicago Journal.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-12-14
POOR PEOPLE IN THE SOUTH.
A Striking Illustration of Ignorance
Causing Poverty.

A Striking Illustration of Ignorance
Causing Poverty.
The twinship of poverty and ignor-
ance is strikingly illustrated in the
mountain region Of North Carolina.
The rural mountaineers, excepting
those who own the fertile valleys, are
the poorest people to be found in the
South, says the Charleston News and
Courier. The plantation negroes in
South Carolina enjoy comforts and lux
uries Of which the dweller III the how
els in the little clearings FAR up the
mountain side have scarcely dreamed.
Their scanty cabbage, corn and apple
crops provide them with only enough
cash to purchase in small quantities
such necessaries as sugar and coffee
to them the choicest and most priced
luxuries of life.
Yet between these people and easy
living stands only the barrier of not
knowing how to produce the scores Of
things for which there Is a ready and
ever-growing market at their doors.
The villages and larger towns TEEN
with summer visitors, many of them
residents and housekeepers for three
or four months. These flock to the
mountains not only from the seacoast,
but from all the interior OF the south
ern country. Hundreds of families Of
weIl-to-do farmers Of the Piedmont as
we'll as from rice and sea island cot
ton plantations fill the boarding houses
and hotels.
Nature has made these mountains
food-producing region, but the singular
anomaly is that nothing Is so difficult
to find in 1t as good things to eat In
the smaller towns days pass IN the
summer when pat Of butter is not to
be had for love or money. Four years
ago 1t was the experience of a we'll
known Charlestonian to arrive at
fashionable hotel at supper time AS
he strolled into the dining room and
took his seat at the nearest table the
100 or more guests at the other tables
began to clap their hands in applause.
They were not greeting the Charles
tonian. but a procession of walters
with the first butter that had been seen
in forty-eight hours!
Fruit in the mountains, with the eX-
ception of apples, Is scarce and tue APP
pies are often undesirable citizens Of
the fruit kingdom. Grapes should be
plentiful, but they are to be seen only
In a few places, Of which Tryon is a
noteworthy example. Delicious rasp-
berries may be easily raised, but only
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-12-14
WHEN WOMEN RUN FARMS.
In New England They Carry on the
Work Unafded by Men.

In New England They Carry on the
Work Unafded by Men.
Hundreds Of women leave Providence
each morning in the summer and walk
or ride out into the country seven or
| more miles, work Ia the highly cult
waited fields all day, and then walk or
ride home at night. These are mostly
Italian women. Hundreds Of the best
producing farms of Rhode Island are
owned and worked by Italians. That is
also true over a large part Of Con-
necticut, and especially about the larg-
er cities, where they can get their prod
uce to the markets by short drives.
A merchant has d customer in the
market business in a Connecticut city
who declares that for ten years he
has bought 5 per cent of his goods
from the farms Of native Americans,
and not more than another 5 per cent
from the handlers of garden truck from
the west or south, and that marketman
does a tremendous business. He buys
Of italians and Polanders who are
working farms about this city. They
keep right up to the times and their
vegetables are always fresh and right
for the table. They produce more va
rieties than the GId-time farmers did.
In some cases women are running the
farms.
There are in this country now more
women farmers than in the Old nations,
whence come reports of women doing
the hard labor in fields. 1t has be-
come the pride of many American
women to carry on their farms by their
own efforts and TO employ women Of
their own class to help them. In Eng
land there are community farming col
onies, where all the work is done by
women.
The claim is made that women who
do farm work get more for 1t than they
could at indoor work and that they
have better health and more independ-
ence, with the opportunity to associate
with others whom they know and re
spect; that they have more leisure on
the whole, and that they live to be-
come better wives for men who must
earn their living-Worceste Tele-
gram.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-12-14
Common Sense.

She came among the gathering crowd,
A maiden fair, without pretense,
And when they asked her humble name,
She whispered mildly, Common Sense"
Her modest garb drew every eye,
Her ample cloak, her shoes of leather
And, when they sneered, she simply said.
81 dress according to the weather"
They argued long and reasoned loud,
In dubious Hindoo phrase mysterious,
While she, poor child, could not divine
Why girls so young should be so seri'
GUS.
They knew the length Of Plato's beard,
And how the scholars wrote in Saturn
She studied authors not so deep,
And took the Bible for her pattern.
And so she said: Excuse me, friends;
l find all have their proper places,
And Common Sense should stay at home
With cheerful hearts and smiling
faces"
james 7. Fields.