The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1907-02-28
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THE SOCIAL HOUR.
Took q the wrona Wa,

whom a lucky strike mad. a drunk
| ard Of lie remained n drunkard all
his life. Nothing could wean him
4 from the whisky. A chum Of his once
read him. by way or warning. q spon-
taneous combustion story-a story or
man so saturated with liquor that
once. when hc went TO blow out q can
| ilc. his breath took firs from the flame
and he burned To death.
The we'll meaning churu. at the end
OF his tale. looked at the reprobAts
young miner and said solcnniy:
There. Horace. let that be warn
| Ing to you.
"It WILL Horace answered. In an
! awed voice BY heavensl I'll never
blow on, candle again the longest dag
live"
happiness
At the Players club In New York =
number Of actors were arguing abous
the meaning uf the word happiness
In the midst of the argument Henry h
Dixcy appeared, and one OF tho con-
| tcs:Rnts said:
"Dixey. what Is your idea Of happi-
ness
Mr.. Dis.y smiled ,housh,tuliy Then
hs replied:
MY idea Of true happiness IL 20 lie
on a couch before n bright fire. smok-
ing large Havana cigar given me by
an admir~r. while listen To n woman
| who worships me. reading aloud nat
tering press notices about my acting
Psriious Food.
when I was city editor OF the yir
ginia City Enterprise" said Mark
Twain. at n dinner In New York. "A
! fnc turkey was one day left at the
office Turkeys were rare In that high
al al hnnkeff.d
.his bird The proprietor. though.
| .inIncd ~ for his own. He took IL
nome. and had II stewed for dinner.
| The next morning a. he WAS cxpa-
tlating on the turkeys richn"ss and
tenderness. letter was handed To him
| !ia opened u and read
Mir. Editor. Sir: Yesterday I sent
you n turkey which has been the cause
~ much dispute among us. To settle
a bet. you VIII kindly ask your agrt-
cultural editor To state I'm tomorrow's
issue wha, II died Of
Playing TO the Gallery.
william Dean Howells. the great
novelist. was condemning certain
scry popular writer. The man could
| 10 better work" said Mr.. Howeiis, but
ne IL always appealing to the gallery.
The thin. IL iudicrous 80 me. IL makes
me think OF that super OF whom Booth
used To tell.
There was an elderly super who la
certain new play was TO come on
aud say TO Booth: Ny lord the car
throughout the piece. Well. the play
progressed finely on Its presentation.
hut when the old super appeared no
first said: My lord. the carriage waits
rs was expected OF him. and then In
stead OF retiring. he advanced TO the
! tootllghts. looked up at the crowded
gallery. and exclaimed with great vigor
| and animation:
And allow me to add that the man
A., who lifts his hand against woman.
savs I'm the way OF Kindness. II un-
worthy the name OF an American
Then amid overwhelming applause. he
made his exit.
Extravaaant Economy.
Paul Morton. In a recent address on In
surance. said OF a certain proposed econ
omy:
THAT would not be an economy. but an
sxtravagance. In the long run. II reminds
me ~ tho boy and the jam.
MY son. said this boys mother isn't
10 rather an extrsvagance TO eat butter
with that superb am
"'So ma'sm. It's an economy the boy
answered. The same piece Of bread does
Tor both"
3
Bow-Wo~.
Edgar Status. the briiiisn, novelist. was
asked by a young lady at a tea IL he
thought that the use Of quotations Vas q
good thing.
Quotations are only good" said Mr..
5situs. when they are extremely apt
There uas once a Witty 1rishman. James
r.. Fitzgerald. who made excellent use OF
a quotation In q political speech. During
this speech he vas repeatedly interrupted
by y butcher. the proprietor OF a large
ssusage-making plant. An adherent OF
Fitzgerald's finally took ofrenss at the
butchers hooking remarks. and yelled.
Hey. you. leave politics alone. and 60
hack TO your sausage machines!
Tn. butcher Eisred nj the mar and rs-
torted:
"Ir I had this speaker IN one OF my
sausage machines. I'D soon make mincs-
Inrat Of him
Then Mr. Fitzgerald quoted from the
platform with n smile:
lis thy servant n dog that thou
shoulds, do this thing-''
-
The Fortune Tempted.
From the LONDON STANDARD.
4 we'll known nobleman was actually en-
: sed to Miss Coutts. but on her chaiieng-
!ux him one day whether 80 was her per-
sonal!ty or her great fortune which APP
pealed 10 him he frankly acknowledged
that although he was much attached 10
her. her vast property had been his special
Inducement In betrothing himself
Her reply was characteristic Let US
then remain tho beat OF friends instead OF
being the poorest OF lovers"
-
Oh Came the Hats.
Prom the Kansas CITY Star
II isn't hard tn persuade women TO
remove their hats lin mcetin'," when
you know how to GO about IL. Harry
X Shields. the singer who assists tina
Rev. X. n. Crossneld. the evangelist.
In his revival meetings knows how.
This IN the way hs did ~ yesterday as
,h. First Christian church. Eleventh
and Locust streets
We want good song service this
afternoon" he said. but before begin
ming I want to ask the women I'm tho
, audience To Join with Inc I'm a breath
! ing exercise. You know to sing we'll
you must breathe well. First I'll AK
you to raise your right arm and take
full breath. Then put your hand on
the back of your hat and-remoye ono
| hat pin. then the second.
"Ah. l see you are taking them OF.
! Now lets sing the first verse of No."
And the women didn't mind II n bit