Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-12-14

I've uCCA n ~ ctA AahA
he said suddenly IS lie came in n
night.
Mrs. Grummit looked up and noticed
with wifely pleasure that he was look
ing almost cheerful.
"He's given me a tip" said Mr..
Grummit, with a faint smile. "a cop
per mustn't come into q freeborn Eng
lishman's 'ouse unless he's invited"
"Wot Of it," inquired his wife, You
wasn't thinking OF asking him in, was
your
Mr.. Grummit regarded her almost
playfully. 'If a copper m In with
out being told to-" he continued, che
gets into trouble for it. Now dye
see?"
But he won't come" said the puz-
zled Mrs. Grummit.
Mr.. Grummit winked. Eyes he will
II you scream loud enough" he re-
torted. where's the copper stick|
Have you gone mad" demanded his
wife, cor do you think I 'ave"
"You go up into the bedroom" said
Mr.. Grummit, emphasizing his re-
marks with his forefirger. II come up
and beat the bed black and blue with
the copper stick; you cream for mercy
and call out Help" 'MurderE and
things like that. Don't call out c.Po-
licev cos Bill amt sure about that part.
Evans bursting in to ave your
life-IH leave the door on the latch
and there you are. He's sur to get
into trouble for 1t. Bill said so. He's
made a study o. that sort O. thing"
Mrs. Grummit pondered this simple
plan so long that her husband began to
lose patience. At last, against her bet
ter sense, she rose and fetched the
weapon in question.
And you be careful what you're
hitting" she said, as they went up
stairs to bed. WED better have Ugh
words first, I s'pose:"
'eYou pitch into me with your
tongue" said Mr.. Grummit, amiably.
Mrs. Grummit, first listening to make
sure that the constable and his wife
were in the bedroom the other side Of
the fiimsy wall, compiled, and In a
voice that rose gradually to a piercing
falsetto told Mr.. Gr,lmmit things that
had been ranking In her mind for
some months. She raked up misde-
meanors that he hnd long since for
gotten, and, not content with that, had
q fling at the entire Grummit family,
beginning with her mother-in-law and
ending with Mr.. Grummit's youngest
sister. The hand that held the copper
stick itched.
ANY more to sayT' demanded MI.
Grummit, advancing upon her.
Mrs. Grummit emitted a genuine
shrek, and Mr.. Grummit, suddenly re-
membering himself, stopped short and
attacked the bed with extraordinary
fury. The room resounded with the
blows, and the efforts Of Mrs. Grum-
nit were a revelation even to her hus-
band.
II can hear I'm moving" whispered
Mr.. Grummit, pausing to take breath.
MURDER walled his wife. Help!
Help!'
Mr.. Grummlt, changing the stick into
his left hand, renewed the attack. Mrs.
Grummit, whose voice was becoming
exhausted, sought II temporary relief
in means.
'~Is-he-deaf," painted the wife beat
er, ''or wot?"
He knocked over a chair, and Mrs.
Grummit contrived another frenzied
shrek. A loud knocking sounded or
the wall.
"Hel-lp!'moaned Mrs. Grummit.
"Hello, therev!' came the voice of
the constable. "Why don't you keep
that baby quiet? We can't get a wink
of Sleep"
Mr. Grummit dropped the stick on
the bed and turned a dazed face to his
wife.
"He-he's afraid-to come In" he
gasped. "Keep it up, old gal"
He took up the stick again, and Mrs.
Grummit did her best, but the heart
had gone out Of the thing, and he was
about to give up the task as hopeless
when the door below was heard to
open with a bang.
"Here he is," cried the jubilant
Grummit. "Noww I
His wife responded, and at the same
moment the bedroom door was flung
open, and her brother, who had been
hastily fetched by the neighbors On the
other side, burst into the room and
with one hearty blow sent MI. Grum-
NIT sprawling.
"Hit my sister, will you?" he roared
the astounded Mr.. Grummit rose.
Take that"
Mr.. Grummit took it and several 9th
er favors. while his wife, Juggling at
her brother, endeavored to explain. 1t
was not, however, until MI. Grummit
claimed the usual sanctuary of the de-
feated by refusing to rise that she
could make herself heard.
Coke" repeated her brother incred-
llously. "Joke?"
Mrs. Grummit in a husky voice ex-
planned. Her brother passed from in
.redulity to amazement and from
amazement to mirth. He sat down
yurgling, and the Indignant face Of the
GrSHnmit only added to his dis
.ress.
BEST Joke I ever heard in my life"
lie said. wiping his eyes. Don't look
1t me like that, Bob. l can't bear it,"
Get off 'ome," responded Mr.. Grum-
NIT glOwerinp at him.
''T1lere's a crowd outside and half
H. loo,, T.. A. -j,,o o1or ~ cold TIM