The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1907-12-01
BACK FROM TEXAS! SHOCKED.
HOW DARE THEY SPEAK SO?
ASKS COUSIN MARCELLI'S.
Reproduction for Uncle soc T-inlSlepauEih
Among Men who 81 shOOt-Aunt
sally I-beCkendarter TlckIed: Uncle
David, However. SOreIy Disappointed.


David, However. SOFcIy Disappointed.
CHESTER. N. ", Nov. SO.-"Well. sir, Aunt
Sally Beckendarter is Jest about the most
tickledest woman m ever talked over the
rack fence to a neighbor woman about the
folks down the road. but It's actu'ly heart
siokenin' the way Uncle David Beckendarter
Is disapp'inted an shows it. Cousin Mar
cellus Merriweather has got back safe from
Texas, where he went
The last time the man who Clings to the
assertion that he is OF domicile over toward
Pochuck was here Cousin Marcellus Merri-
weather, it was alleged. had been some three
weeks in Texas, and there were conflicting
beliefs in the BeCkendarter household as to
his probable fate.
Cousin Marcellus. who is a Tinklepaugh Of
Sprout Hill, like Aunt Sally Beckendarter.
had told on the eve Of his departure for
Texas Of o wonderful shot his Uncle 500
TnkIepaugh had made over i'm Pennsyl-
vania, killing a deer and a buck with a
single bullet.
Now. it was Uncle David B~eCkendarter's
opinion. privately expressed. that he would
sooner take the word Of Ananias and Sapphira
than an affidavit signed with the names Of
every TinkIepaugh there ever was; he
averred that while Aunt Sally was a Tinkle-
paugh herself all the Tinklepaugh had been
B~eckendartered out Of her.
Uncle David had listened TO Cousin Mar
cellus's tale. smoking in silence. But when
Cousin Marcellus had up INC declared that
he intended to tell the tale when he got to
Texas among men who could shoot. Uncle
David had said to him. with no little POSI-
t~iveness and meaning:
AM I've got to say Is. Marcellus. don't you
go TO T~inklepaughin' in Texasl That's all l
got to say
Whereupon Uncle David had gone OF to
bed. but Aunt Sally was just delighted at
the thought OF having the Tinklepaugh fame
carried abroad like that.
Three weeks OF more having passed
since Cousin Marcellus went to Texas and
nothing having been heard from or of him.
Aunt Sally Beckendarter had fallen into
low spirits over 10. believing that Cousin
Maroellus had tried one Of those nerve
twisting shots Of his Uncle Soc's at a bear
or something and not having calculated it
with sufficient nicely the bullet had turned
around and killed him.
Uncle David said with equal positiveness
that the chances were that they would
never see Cousin Marcellus again. but it
wouldn't be because he had fallen victim
to any m~iscalculated nerve twisting shot.
Tn reason he was more than likely buried
away of in the wilds of Texas was because
he hadn't taken warning.
Hes gone and Tinklepaughed in Texas"
said Uncle David. That's what he's been
an gone an done"
And so the situation remained as far "a
had been heard from until this later coming
over Of the habitual bearer of what he says
Ia the new from Pochuck with the intelli-
gence hat Cousin Marcellus had got back
from Texas. much to the delight OF Aunt
Sally B~eckendarter and to the surprise and
disappointment Of Uncle David.
we was Roin' to have a billed dinner
said the chrOnicler, @an' Aunt Sally was
peelin' the 'taters, the cabbage an turnips
bein' already on an givin' out their fra
GRANGE from the pot.
winder huntin' in the almanick to see about
what time we must be lookin' out fer snow,
an not findin' II satisfactory he was hangln'
up the almanick ag'in 'longside the winder
when ne looked out an up the road an
sot down so quick that he almost went
through the rush bottom Of his cheer. Aunt
Sally didn't notice. bein' busy with her
later peelin'. an by an by Uncle David
pulled hisself together an DRAWN a long
sigh says, still lOokin' up the road:
There amt no doubt about his havin'
an amazin' nose fer p'intin' victuals,' says
he, but I sceercely believe he could "a
lined this here billed dinner clear from
Texas. He either hain't T~inklepauRhed
down there or else Texas has lost her reputa-
ton fer dealin' out retribution swift an
sure says he, fer yender he comesI'
AN the Disappointment that you could
zee stickin' out all over Uncle David was
henrtsickenin' Aunt Sally didn't pear
10 see il, though, an she drapped her later
peeIin' clasped her hands together an
Mot Cousin MarcelIusy' she squeals.
Not Cousin Mar .
But jest then the door opened, an
sure enough there he was. He was lookin'
! considerable het up. a. il he mOwt been
/ thinkin' mebbe he'd he a leetle late fer
somethin', an that helm NJ particular
change in him as 10 his comm to Uncle
David's ne looked every bit as natural
as IL he hadn't been any higher to Texas
than Sprout Hill.
Aunt sally she jest grabbed him, dotin'
onto him as she does, an squeas:
-'Oh, Cousin Maroellusl she squeals.
How hev o been2 An you Qalc,lated
Uncle Soc Tinklepaugh's nerve twistin'
| shot Jest right arter all, an the bullet
4 come back an never touched you'll I'm
| tiokled all but u Heath fer to see you'll Set
down an take on your gum shoesl Cousin
MRrcellus, when did you git backs An
o. course you're goin' to stay to dinner?'
says Aunt Sally.
well, Aunt Sally says Cousin Mar
cellus, 4 hadn't thought o. stayin' to dinner,
Nov, Marcellus,' says Uncle David,
breakin' in on him n little nippy, don't
begin to TinklepauRh the minute you
git backl' says he; see you took my
warnin' an didn't T~inklepauHh in Texas,
else we'd "a been meetin' you with the
undertaken instead o. the fatted calf, so to
speaki' says Uncle David. L don't see
what I could "a been thinkin' about,
though, ; 50 vs. he, his Disappointment SEEM
inly gittin' more heartsickenin' thar ever,
to give you that waTnin',' says he.
David Beckendarterl' says Aunt Sally,
takin' up her later peelin' ag'in as Cousin
Marcellus took on his gum shoes an sot
down. David B~eckendarter,' says she,
you're enough to provoke the saints
a " she, an whether Aunt Sally thought
she was one Of 'em or not | don't know, but
she got awful provoked.
"She forgot it after a while. though. an
then che says:
well. Cousin Marcellus.' says she, did
you try the nerve twistin' shot onto a
bear or onto a whatP' says she. An didn't
they Jest more than look up 10 you an put
you to the mead o. the table fer bein' the
nephew o. your Uncle Soc hat done the
wonderful shoOtin'p' says she.
Aunt Sally says Cousin Marcellus.
don't mention EN- TO me" says he. Don't