The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1907-04-11


Tommy Caught in the act)-I-I
must say gran'ma, that these pre-
serves is jest like the ones mother
used to make.-Town and County.
Money talks" said the man of trite
ideas. Eyes" answered Mr.. Dustin
Stax. "But it shouldn't insist on writ
ing for the magazines" Washing
Star.
Mistress-Bridget, have you ever
made lobster la Newburgh? Bird
get-No, mum; niver worruked far.
Their up tn HUDSON thon Nyack."-
Puck.
Pauline-What do you do for the
blues, Penelope? Penelope-Oh,
think of the things in my life which
be different if other things had been
different. Brooklyn Life
Said the old colored deacon: T
amt bothered bout whether dar's
life on de moon or not. How ter keep
life gwine on the earth is what gifts
me!"-Atlanta Constitution.
$50 your first fiancee threw you
over! Do you think she ever re-
GREETED it?" I'm beginning to think
she did. I married Immediately, and
she never married at all!"-Detroit
Free Press.
Il thought, senator, that you were
going to insist on being INDICATED
before a jury" II was. But my law
yers have been fortunate enough to
find flaw in the indictment" Chi
cago Record-Herald.
EYES," said Miss Passay coyly. cit
1t true that Mr.. Dumley and I are to
be partners for life." well, WE'LL"
exclaimed Miss Jert, what RESPONSE
bility for you, being the senior part
ner"-Philadelph Press.
Lady Ito her travelling companion,
who has just had his finger nail
pinched badly -"How horrid! al.
ways think anything wrong with ones
nails sets ones teeth on edge all
down ones Punch.
Il suppose you can go where you
like whenever you like in your new
motor carr" "My FRIEND" answered
Mr.. Scudds, you mistake, am
merely the owner. am not the
chauffeur Washington Star.
First. Suburbanite-'Are you sure
you have all your packages? I
thought saw one on a seat in the
car Second Suburbanite- Well.
don't think it's mine. but I'm never
sure until get Brooklyn
Life.
"Johnn whispered Johns wife,
I'm thoroughly convinced there's a
burglar downstairs" well, dear"
replied the husband, sleepily, 1T hope
you don't expect me to have the cour-
age of your convictions" -Philadel
phia Ledger.
She-Miss Cables such a bore!
When she started talking noticed
-" He-Gracious! | didn't think
you were that old. She-What do
you mean? How old? He-Old
enough to take notice when she
started NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Led.
ger.
"Pa!" "Well, what is it now?"
my teacher says I'm a natural born
fool" "Your teacher is a sensible
woman, and that's what I've always
said. suppose she had to explain
to you what a natural born fool
was Eyes, pa. She said it was
hereditary" cleveland Leader.
do you pay poets?" asked the
long-haired bard as he timidly ap-
preached the editor. Sometimes" re-
piled the editor. without looking up
.For what size poems?" Don't pay
them for poems. Pay them for wash
ing the windows and scrubbing the
floor" Chicago Daily News.
"I'm glad I don't live in Germany
right now said the man who was
trying to occupy three seats at once
in the street. car. I'm afraid OF
cholera" mo doubt you are" said
his neighbor, savagely, Il know a
farmer who had a whole drove die OF
it the other day. "-C Cleveland Leader.
The burglar, having filed sack
with valuables from the pantry and
china closet, leisu1ely made his way
to the bedrooms on the second floor.
aDese summer outin's," he said, stow
ing himself away comfortably in the
most luxurious bed in the deserted
mansion, is great t'ings fur hard
--.--yw:-.y ~,n,, 1s1xo mo v-Ghioq on Trif~