Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-29
GOOD LIARS IN FO'C'SLE.
A STORY OF SHIP RUMORS.

I old mud hen the jocular phrase OF the
skeptics, Like the Monocacy's going 10
move" or so is the Monocacy going to
| there was an American man-o'- war
Getting back to the rumor business, IL I,
| not to be supposed that the marine mall
orderly OF ship is the only expert propa.
gator and promoter of these shtps' fakes
All Of the enlisted men whose billets give
| them any sort of contact or access TO the
| omcers. particularly the cabin Of the skip
per or executive officer, become adroit and
amazingly plausible In their Matching ant
| exploiting OF these fairy tales of maginary
| orders.
"Mess Men" Good Liaps.
When blue1ackets have been for a Ions
| time IN a port or on q station they do moi
like, the wish becomes the nourisher OF tht
| fake with them. 30 that hoping It may b.
true. they are in a state to believe any.
| thing they hear about the possibility OF ar
early move. They win attend even the
| Numbering of that unfinished and tnex,
pert Har, the apprentice who acts as skip
pers messenger. who pretends-all the while
protesting too much--that while rubberins
in the old mans cabin he heard the old
man naming the next port to the navigat.
ing officer.
They hang even upon the words OF tn,
mess attendants. those al-sared walters OF
the messroom. And all men-o'-war NEST
attendants infallibly develop into humorous.
~ fanciful liars when 1t comes to stuffina
their shipmates with these tales OF suppo-
sitiOus orders
At the luncheon hour. say. the mess at.
PENDANT. with nary a grin, hustles into
the gallery. carrying his tray with a cheer
full tauntiness that is noticeably unusual
Well, it's through Smiths straits for
this old frigate, all right" he announces.
jerking his thumb in the direction of the
messroom. They're talking now OF our
orders for the Mediterranean-and 1 guess
!! won't be the soft stuff to get away from
this bioomin. old Asiatic station. / s'pose
and Civita vech' will be poor, hey, after
an OF this f1oundering around with the
slant lamps, and then he picks up the
dishes and .hustles aft to the messroom,
leaving stunned ships cook behind
Now ships cooks, II should be known
Will believe any old thing. They're the
most credulous individuals afloat. 1t is
they are always eating, and therefore Just
teenchy bit stupid. However this may
be- the man-o'-wa cook is the champion
OF all gulls, and he Is the man of the ships
company whom the trainers Of ships or
ders generally tackle first His galley posi-
ton gives him great prominence as a news
disseminator
He has but to rest his fat arms on the
sill and to lean out Of the galley window to
collect willing audience. Knowing the
ships cook as the easiest of all the good
things for the devisers Of fairy tales, It is
inexplicable that his shipmates should give
any credence to the fakes which he Cir
culates. But they do.
"Cooky" Never Peevish.
Even the Chinese mess stewards, rare
and solemn humorists that all Of them can
be upon occasion, use the stodgy ships
cook as the easiest frst-hand channel for
the yarns which they carry from the after
to the forward part OF the ship. When
their airy tales are punctured the ships
COOK never becomes angry over having
been fooled by the chinks. The ships
cook IL too busy munching and dgesting
to get angry with anybody.
No man-o'-war was ever yet moved nom
one port to another on the heels OF one of
these queerly circulated ships yarns and
knowing this, 1t Is odd that the men
orard, and even some Of the gentlemen
aft. go on from year to year giving ear to
the ships rumors. however plausible they
may sound.
The actual news of a move generally gets
into circulation in but one way-through
the officer Of the deck.
The skipper comes on board after shore
trip. or. even. the prankish mail orderly.
stepping from the cutter, hands the skip
per- among other papers one in particular
Presently. before the mall orderly has
had time to get below to spring the fake
that he may have been cogitating. the
skipper appears at his cabin door and mods
the executive officer a meaningfui nod.
The executive officer smiles and then
strolls for'ard. his hands behind his back
and putting his cheeks Importantly. He
says word to the officer of the deck.
mo! Is that sou says the officer of the
deck. excitedly and then the first Iufr
mods. puffs his cheeks some more and
strolls aft to his office.
The bluejackets. always grouped about
the gangway, have Of course taken in all
OF these moves. One of them fixes up an
excuse to approach the officer of the deck
with a question Of routine.
The officer OF the deck. Drumming with the
news. let's the bare word Of 1t drop to the
bluejacket. The others overhear. The tip
Ii straight. They know, then, that the
anchor sure Is going to come UP, and the
cheer spreads.
Chip in for Pennant.
Men down below come a-skurrying on
deck to get the confirmation Of the cheer
II the ship has been for a long time on a
foreign station, the men chip in and dele
gate one OF the chief petty officers to buy
the homeward-bound pennant.
The whole thing Is finally clnched when
the men are told to stand by to coal ship.
The hour of departure comes. The bo'sun's
mates, awaiting the great nod from the
oficer Of the deck. stand at the gangway,
silver pipes In hand
The officer Of the deck. not without hectic
spots on his own cheeks, gives the great
nod. Then the two long, quavering, shrill
blasts of the bo'suns pipes and that pass
ing Of the magical word both dear and
merry In the ears OF sailormen who see
the homeward-bound pennant all ready to
be broken to the breeze:
"Al-l-l-l ha-a-a-ands up anchor!'
And It Is no fake when those sonorous,
deep-throated. happy words cut the air!
CLARENCE L. CULLEN.