davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-08-21

Showing the Effect Of Imagination On
the human Mind.

Mark Twain 10 responsible for manv
. practical joke. and he also is known
To hold decided views In regard to
mental suggestion. One OF the latest
stories told of him In the newspapers
Oh the day has direct bearing upon the
matter OF relationship OF body and
mind.
Mr.. Clemens. In company with two
friends. went on . hunting expedition,
and intending to remain for some
days In the woods. they carried with
them provisions and a small, round,
sheet iron wood stove. for it was IL
November, and the nights were chilly
The first day Mark remained about
the camp. putting things in order,
while his two friends went In search
OF game.
Toward evening. having put things
In apple-pie order. Mark sat down on
a box. chose. book from several
which he had brought along. and was
soon lost between the covers. 1t had
grown rather dark meanwhile. SO he
lighted a candle and placed it beside
him on the box. Suddenly he heard
. sound as of some one coming
through the underbrush. This remind
ed him that he should have had a fire
built in the little stove. because the
night was frosty. and his companions
would feel the need of a warm fire on
their arrival. Hastily grasping the
candle, he stood it on it's end inside
the stove and closed the door, which
was fitted with small windows Of
mica.
Just then his two friends rushed In.
shivering, and, remarking that II was
beastly cold, they each in turn held
their hands over the little stove, from
which the light as of brisk fire bright
iy streamed. How kind of Mark to
build fire for u.s." said one
We'll, he knew we would be cold"
said the second.
After few moments Mark ventur.
ed to inquire il they were getting
warm, and upon being assured that
they were now quite comfortable, he
opened the door of the stove and
brought forth the diminutive candle.
placed 1t upon the soap box at his
side. and resumed his reading
Youths Companion.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-08-21

Remarkable lnelsent That Disturbed
solemnity Of Funeral.


Instead OF the accustomed quiet
which prevails ut the burial Of the
dead. great excitement and fear at
tended the burial the other day Of
Michael Serene. . prominent merchant
OF Westport. when by the collapsing
OF a grave the CONN and several per-
sons attending the services were
hurled into q small pit.
The final prayer had been said by
the preacher. and the assistant to the
undertaken stepped to the foot of the
coffin to arrange the rope for letting
the coffin into the grave. At that mo-
ment one OF the pallbearers acct.
dentally kicked out the crosspiece
that supported the CONN. The CONN
quickly descended into the grave, the
body going feet first. The assistant
FASTENED its descent by tumbling on
It. Several persons rushed to the
edge OF the grave. causing the soil to
yield. and In a'few seconds Ave per.
sons were lying In the pit half covered
with dirt.
They were pulled out, the coffin was
dug out and laid fiat, and after the
grave had been redug the burial was
completed.-N. Y. Press.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-08-21
Why Ace Improves Wines.

why do wines improve with age e
Because they marry" answered
tile expert.
Marry"
Yes; that is the term used in the
trade" said dealer to a New York
press writer.
This sherry we say has mar.
ried we'll or that '96 hook has mar.
hied hastily We mean by wina
marriage that its different compo.
nents-the alcohol. the sugar. the car.
Oonic acid. and so on-bave blended
together smoothly. In a new wine
this blending. this marriage. has not
yet taken place. and hence the
harshness OF new wines. Old wines
are delicious because the alcohol and
sugar and acids and others have all
married into one fragrant compound. -
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-08-21

But l like to have people say
things; don't your"
We'll, yes, do; but perhaps when
we're dead people will say nice things
about us; let's be comforted,' and
she and James, laughing left tie
room.
Mr.. Graham did some thinking.
swallowing hard, for giving compli-
ments was, indeed, not much to his
liking
But at dinner that night. he said:
James, how would you like to go
fishing with me for q week or so?
You've had such good report this
month, | think you deserve a vaca.
ton. To capture a hundred in MISC
Bells room is feat to be proud Of"
up to Eagle river?" shrieked
James.
you may take boy with you for
company. WHOM do you want?"
bill Fischer" he said, promptly.
Who is hep" asked his father.
We'll. he's in my room and he's
fine. He's smart, tell you. He
knows all the dates in history and
you can't stump him on an example.
I've been saving my money to buy a
fishing-pole for him and me. His
mother takes in washing and he can't
buy things"
"A washerwoman's son." said Mr..
Graham, a little obviously. Aren't
there any boys in this neighborhood
you like as well? May BE his mother
can't spare him"
No, father, / don't like anybody
as we'll az Bill. lie don't lie and he's
full of fun and he don't smoke. be.
cause he says he can't be stunted. IL
he has 70 support his mother; and I
don't smoke now either, because
maybe If You die. I'll have to support
my mother.
You dear, dear boy" said Mrs.
Graham, with shining eyes, looking
! triumphantly at her husband.
Your so0 has some rather good
qualities" remarked Margaret that
evening, as she was sewing and MI.
Graham reading. That he is truthful.
brave, generous and democratic you
may have noticed already, and I've no
doubt you VIII become acquainted
with quite a number of his otner vir.
tues in your weeks "trip"
MIR. Graham came over and kissed
her
1T took his step-mother to find IL
out" he said Margaret, grow
faint when think OF the boys who
may De having their lives crushsu
out by snoh weII,meanipg but 6jisa.
women as Aunt Kate"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-08-21
Why Blue Monday.

Monday is the busiest day OF the
week for me-" said the physician
to the man who had been waiting
half an hour to see him. IL won't
try to put up a bluff and tell you
that my office is SO crowded every
day in the week, for it isn't; but |
get grist of office patients nearly
every Monday. Every physician OF
any reputation has the same expe.
rience. Why? All on account of Sun.
day. People do all sorts of fool.
ish things on that day, because they
nave time to, and they pay for it.
gestible, rich food on Sunday that
they would not think of eating on
any other day. They eat too much
also; in fact, some people nibble away
all day, and in consequence they have
indigestion-for no one has indigestion
SO quickly or so acutely az the person
who is used to regular. wholesome
living, and once in a long while tries
the unwholesome food-and a trip to
the doctors always in order Mon.
day. Then, again, Sunday gives q
person more time to think of his ills.
A man who will stoically bear a pain
on working days and drive 1t away
by his very snubbing of it will get
frightened at the slightest ache on
Sunday. He gets to thinking about
1t and comes to the conclusion that
1t is a serious symptom. So he goes
in to see a physician Monday.-N. Y.
Press.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-08-21
Naked Truth,

Francis Wilson tells of an encoun-
ter OF wits that took place between
the late Eugene Field and New York
woman.
1t was at dinner and the woman
was in evening dress. which was dec
ollete. After skirmish between the
two relative to the respective merits
OF well known author, it would seem
that Field came off second best.
20. Mr.. Field" exclaimed the wom-
an, exultantly, you must admit that
you are fairly beaten at your own
camel
Field bowed politely. and, with n
smile, promptly rejoined: eat any
rate, Miss Blank, l have one consola.
ton; you can't laugh at me in your
sleeve Magazine.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-08-21
TWO SISTERS HAD ECZEMA.
Cuticura Cured Scalp Troubles Of
Two illinois Girls-Another Sis
ter Took Cuticura Pills.

II must give much praise to all the
Cuticura Remedies. / used but one
cake of Cuticura Soap and one box of
Cuticura Ointment, as that was ali that
was required to cure my disease. I
was very much troubled with eczema
OF the head, and q friend of mine told
me to use the Cuticura Remedies.
which / did, and am glad to say that
they cured my eczema entirely. My
sister was also cured of eczema OF the
head by using the Cuticura Remedies.
Another sister has used Cuticura Re-
solvent and Pills and thinks they are
a splendid tonic. Miss Edith Hammer,
r. F. ID. No. 6. Morrison, Ill. Oct. 3. '06."
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-08-21
How Jimmie Was Found Out
By Mary E. Fitzgerald
By Mary E. Fitzgerald
Copyright. bys Joseph B. Bowle.o

stained face against her own. Its
best for your father to know. Now,
we haven't reached to-days's offenses
yet. Why were you sent to the dress-
ing-room?"
Il went out to sharpen some pom
ellis for teacher. and Jennie Quigley
saw me and told Helen. That's ALL
$50 you were really sent rs q re-
ward. Why d! mt you say so?"
Father told me not to sreak-and
he wouldn't believe me. don't lie. $
he said. looking up pitifully.
Good for Bill Fischer. whoever he
is" thought Margaret.
Mr.. Graham. holding Helen by the
hand. come upstairs looking very
white.
My poor boy. forgive me! Your
aunt was so sure" he said, taking
James in his arms
"Oh. / don't mind the whipping.
said James; but. father. II you'd only
believe me. l don't lie."
Margaret went out OF the room,
leaving father aud son to come to .
better understanding.
The next week Mr.. Graham came
home a little earlier than usual and
lay down in the library.
He was awakened by rush
through the hall, a resounding kiss
and James voice. shrill with excite
ment, saying: Oh, mother, the big
boys are going up to Long lake Sat.
urday fishing, and they've invited me
to go along. Do you suppose father
will let me? Perhaps he would IL he
saw my perfect mark in department.
Gee! l had to try awful hard to got
that and he never saw It,"
We'll, don't smother me, sonny"
said Margaret, laughing. And don't
for an instant think your father did
not notice your mark. He was
tckled to pieces over it,"
Was he? Bat he never said any.
thing"
We'll. sonny, your father isn't the
praising kind. None of us get many
compliments from him, you know;
but he appreciates, and that's better
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-08-21
Another VARIETY.

The farmer met his son at the sta
ton.
Back from college. Ell, boy?" he
drawled
Yes. dad" replied the youth. as he
III another cigarette. "anj tell you |
am glad to get back. Been digging up
Greek roots all the season"
The old farmer went over to the
hardware store and bought a grubbing
hoe.
All right. my boy" he announced
as he handed over the hoe, "yeou can
change yeour exercise during the sum
mer by digging up dogwood and sassa-
fras roots"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-08-21
OiXersiGed E1IetencA

An old brick laboratory in Middle
town. Conn. which was torn down
Saturday. has been put to many uses,
since its erection in 1925. Originally
It was Clubhouse. but 1t has since
been used as n hospital. an eating
house. a carpenter shop. an icehouse,
and an electrical laboratory.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-08-21

Don't you remember, you said you
would drown yourself IL didn't mar
~ your"
Yes. I remember; how foolish ]
wasi"
DO you consider that It was fool.
ish?"
Yes; I should have threatened "a
drown myself IL you did marry me-
Houston Post.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-08-21

once Moro "Perpetuai Motion
David Uniapon. a full-blooded native
Of the norther territory. Australia. who
combines genius for mathematics
with a passion for music. claims to
have invented q machine which will
secure perpetual motion. He n now
In Adelaide. the capital OF South Aus
tralia. seeking the means OF testing
the feasibility of his mechanism. He
explains that the forces which he pro-
poses to use are gravitation and mo-
mentum and he had to come TO Ade-
laide to seek the assistance OF the ab-
orinines department In procuring four
beveled wheels, q spindle. . tube and
so on. He IL confident that when he
gets these requisites he can pat To-
gether q machine which win bring
perpetual motion appreciably nearer.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-08-21
No Pleasina Hin.

"A woman who tries TO look like q
nan Is a fool" announced MIR. Jaw.
back.
u should say she S." said Mrs j.
looking him over carefully.
And even though she agreed vIu
aim he didn't Ike It. somehos.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-08-21
Orioin Of soeojes

Chicago child.-Look at that funny
man. mama. What makes him so
bowlegged2
Chicago mama presume, my
dear. he lives in ST. Louis. and go.
that way trying to avoid beieE
knocked over by the pigs.-New Yora
Weekly.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-08-21
Ton Heauu

But. my good fellow" said the d.
vine. did yoU ever take a BATH"
No. sir" tho tramp answered. hum
bly, II never took nothin bigger'n
q teaspoon
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-08-21
He Hande On.

Friend-Ts your dog afectIonate?
Owner fwariIy)-Well. he gets cas-
lily attached to people, Baltimore
American
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-08-21
Shake Into Your Shoea

Aliens Foot-Ease. II cures painful swollen,
smarting. sweating feet. Makes new shoes
easy: Sold by all Druggists and Shoe Stores.
Don't accept any substitute SampleFREE.
Address \. s. Olmsted. lie Roy. N. Y.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-08-21

woman with whom you discuss
love is always expecting something
POincelot.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-08-21
No Headache In the Mornlno.

diligence IN food Dr drink Druggists. Csc
Norman Lichty Mfg Co. Des MONIES, Ia
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-08-21

There was never yet . fair woman
but she made mouths IN Q glass.-
Shakespeare.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-08-21

Women forgive injuries. but they
never forget sights. Halliburton.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-08-21

Mrs. WInsiow's Soothing Syrup.
For children teethug softens tho gums. reduces IN
nammstiOu eiiays pain cures wind collie 25c botus
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1907-07-12
DEVILS Tower in Wyoming.

Devils Tower" the most peculiar
formation in the west Two thousand
acres surrounding the tower have been
withdrawn from settlement and
small national park has been created'
with the tower in the center.
Devils tower is a chimney-like
mountain Of rock rising 900 feet
above the surrounding country, and
for almost 500 feet Is nearly perpen'
dicular and devoid Of vegetation or
growth. The top Of the tower Is
large enough to play game OF base.
bali upon and is covered with SOIL
formed from disintegrated rock.
Two men are known to have climbed
the tower at the risk OF their llves.
one of these, Jack Rogers an olo
cowboy, used a, number OF lassos,
which he threw over projecting roints !
a. rocks, afterward climbing bs ropes
The other climber was an engineer OF
the Homestake mining company.
The tower stands on the bank OF
the upper Belle Fouche river and mas
been landmark for years. It can an
te seen from the Burlington railroad,
so miles away, when the sun IS snin-
ing. 49,. =, -: !,
Devils Tower is the famous "lnyafnn
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1907-07-12
MARK TWAIN AND SIR HENRY.
Humorlst Finally Tired Of the Actors
Mock Modesty.

A new story is told OF Marx lwaln.
and good one it is for some peop,e
- recall on occasion Mark was tel,
ing stories, strangely enough, anu
some Young gentleman Perkins. iet
10 call him-after the manner Of the
vsry Young, was trying to cap them
MT he always began with that mock
modest preface: you must nave
heard this before. Mr.. Clemens, re-
heating the phrase at interva y,
through his so-called story: finally
Mark N Is said to have said this;
perkins, that's no way 70 ten :
story, one night was at supper with
Ssenry irwin, and he had the sane '7.
Iii trick that You have, Perkins
w must have heard this before s.
Il you certainly have heard this.
IL began story this way, ana sal y,
nolitcly, No, Irwin, haven't, tno .l
I didn,t know Of course, what his story
was about. After he had useo ms
Miserable, wi.s phrase three times. SAID
u him. Irwin, was born and raised
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1907-07-12
THEATER RUN BY PRIESTS.
Twenty-Four Exits One OF the Fea
lures OF New Chicago Playhouse.

Chicago. Chicago's newest play
house, the College theater, was dedi.
Gated the other night. This theater
has been built at st. Vincent college
at Webster and Sheffield avenues and
will be managed by the priests Of that
institution. The building cost $780,
900.
The theater, was opened to the pub
lie with the performance of "Otho
Viscounte," an opera by Frederick
Grant Gleason, Chicago composer,
who died four years ago. y.
The building possesses "a exits and
the deadly emergency exit is not in.
cluded in the number. In order that
persons in the audience may reach
these exits as speedily as Z possible,
the aisle space is increased towards
the doors. Another feature is the abb
sence of balconies and galleries. In
place of these, % boxes, IA of them
upper and 10 lower. have been fur
nished, with a total seating capacity
Of ESQ. The principal seating ac-
commodations are on the main floor,
which has room for 1,075 persons.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1907-07-12

Is years Of age he began his educa-
ton at school for negroes in Mis-.
souri,, finishing his course of study at
Is. He taught school in Missouri for
six years, and then took charge of
Western university, a school for me-
groes at Quindaro, Kan.
Mr.. Vernon was then the only teach.
er, and his pupils numbered six. When
he left the institution last June he
had IA teachers and $50 pupils. The
college property consists OF $50 acres
Of land, with buildings valued at
$175,O
He is afiliated with leading negro
organizations, has had the degree Of
master of arts and doctor of laws con-
ferred upon him, and as an educa.
tor, an orator, a writer and q leader
Of the people up to the light Of q high
er plane Of life, he is classed with the
famous teacher Of Tuskegee.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1907-07-12
sI0NATuRE OF w. r. VERNON
IN GREAT DEMAND.
AZ Much a. $4,000 Has Been Paid
Tor One Of Them Craving 10 Uni.
xersaI-secret Of Their
Great Value.

+. 4
Neutrality-suspicious. thousand dollars
seems a fabulous price to pay for an
autograph, yet men who can get for
nothing the autograph Of the great.
est potentates on earth will willingly
exchange that amount in gold for the
signature Of William T. Vernon Of
the United States.
Collectors Of the signatures OF IA.
nous men, who will pay high prices
TOR single specimens OF those Of
George Washington, Napoleon Bona
parte or Oliver Cromwell, feel their
ambition realized IL they can connect
with one of each, but for the auto.
graph Of Vernon they have a hunger
that ends only with death.
And the hunger is universal. Men
and women who ordinarily care moth
Ing for the autographs craved by
collectors will exchange their all for
those OF Vernon. Lives are spent in
drudgery, men will die, cheat, steal,
fight, kill and brave all death in q
thousand ways with no hope and no
purpose save that Of acquiring as
many as possible Of these sigma
lures.
Vernon is in the autograph bust
ness. He makes his living by putting
his name on paper. He scaters to a
clientele that IL Unsuitable. His sig.
natures are all alike, but vary in
price from 81 to $4,000, according
to the paper on which they are writ
ten. Still, no one ever tries to beat
him down, for the $4,000 kind is ten
thousand fold more desirable than
the 81 kind.
Who is this man Vernon and what
is the secret of the great value of his
autograph? Those who have a gold
or silver certificate or national
bank note issued by Uncle Sam sub
sequent to June, 1906, may answer
this question by looking at the neat,
businesslike signature on the lower
left-hand corner, just over the words
Register Of the Treasury" This is
Vernon, William T. Vernon, the man
without whose name Uncle Sans pa
per currency and bonds would not
pass muster in the worlds financial
hopper.
1t mustn't be supposed that Vernon
puts his fist" to every bank or treas
ury note that is issued. If he were a
million times multiplied he would
have a hard time doing that. His
name is engraved upon a plate from
one of several samples which he fur
nished, and this signature is stamped
upon the notes by the wonderful
presses at the bureau of engraving and
printing, which are grinding out
money day and night in vain at
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1907-07-12
AUTOGRAPH IS PRICED

tempt to keep pace with the abound.
ing prosperity Of the country.
But There 10 work for the register
to do, nevertheless. He must sign
by hand every registered bond Of the
United States. and millions and mil
lions Of dollars worth OF these have
been issued since. he took the oath
Of Office in June, 1906. These range
In value between 500 and $4,000,
the usual denomination being $1,000.
Vernon has signed hundreds Of the
$4,000 bonds with the same easy non
chalance that he would write his
name to be engraved for q 81 bill.
He was born-36 years ago in log
cabin on plantation near Lebanon,
Mo-, of parents who had been slaves.
He went to work in the fields drag.
ging hay ct the age Of eight. When
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1907-07-12
!. .Nf wAs THANKFUL.


u. listers Of . well-known New
=. NV one ID married. She has
A I \. rirl greatly petted BY al the
~. IA subject to much advice
~ !, them. OF this last the 1T
= :, sometimes wearies. which
Y. N certain occasion made
!n. 1870 in the following reply
y. =. small ladyship;
u - ane aunt: IF you were my
= 90 y .hould have you do thus and
saia another aunt: Were you
~ ! would do 50 and So" Ths
! s ,u'ss aunt made similar 70
~ mile lady thought It high tina
~ go. n her own feelings. But !
! she said, always been so
~, that papa married the sister
IyH'..u As3El2s 8.s 3ssal4is8 4f5 3a7 ~.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1907-07-12
ALMOST a SOLID SORE.
nI,ease from Birth-Fortuns
s..,. o. Her Without Benefit
cured Her with Cuticura.

]. Ave cousin IN Rockingham Co.
o q had a skin 4 sease from her
\ ustil she was six years Of age.
!, i,ther had spent e fortune on her
~ her cured and none Ct the treat
N. did her any good. Old Dr..
ssted that he try the Cuticura
.slies which he did. When he com.
1871 to use it the child was almost
VA scab. He had used It about two
n, and the child was well. ]
q hardly believe she was the same
~ Her skin was as soft as q baby's
Word scar on 1t. ! have not seen
u d seventeen years, but / have
81 from her and the last time I
~ she was well. Mrs. w. P. Ingle,
E,nngton, N. c., June 16. 1906"
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1907-07-12
..;sntai Advice.

rather, l am thinking Of getting
|aried."
I All right, my son. but remember
|Iat love is not everything. Take
~ to select a wife who will support
III IL the style to which you have a.
VI been accustomed, or you run the
~ Of being very unhappy and may
h x having to 60 to work yourself"
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1907-07-12
one Point Of View.

It was the desire Of teacher in .
negro school to impress upon the
minds of the youths the benefits de-
rived at Tuskegee and other seats OF
learning for the ambitious negro. One
day, in closing brilliant discourse on
this subject, In which Booker T. Wash.
ington was set forth as criterion,
she said to one little boy who had evil
IDENTIFY heard not word Of her talk:
Nov 'Rastus. give the name of the
greatest negro?"
The answer was surprisingly forth.
coming-"Joe Gans!"