Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1907-04-06

his neck while trying to kiss q woman.
1t would simply be a waste Of space
to point out the moral to this sud &c.
cldent.
~eA
1t may be true, a. scientists allege,
that the man of the future will be tall.
or. But the man Of the present who
dabbles In futures usually finds himself
shorter.
God sends good wife to every
man," declares Sir Thomas Upton. Al.
though bachelor, Sir Thomas IL still
an Optimist.
Bret Hartc's Yu6n dunn has been dc.
stroyed by fire. It might bc mentioned
that Yuba dam Isn't reformed spell.
Ing.
Any samples OF simlIllfied spelling
that slip into Uncle Joe Cunnons cor.
rcspondence lie credits to his stenog.
rapher.
ietty Green's niece has been sued
for divorce. her husband alleging that
she Is Il spendthrift. This seems to be
II case In which blood docs not tell.
Senator Hale 1,ys the United States
has no enemies. Evidently he has never
suggested annexation to Canadian.
A learned savant A,ys earthquakes
are the result OF the sinister influence
of Saturn. That looks like just as good
u guess rs any Of the others
%S>
Only mother can distinguish be-
tween the mlschlcvOusness Of her boy
and the badness Of the boy next door.
%6~
John II. Rockefeller has just given
away more money In single day than
old man Crocsus ever saw In all his
life. Yet there are people who Insist
that we are making no progress.
~6A
Tho Mississippi supreme Court has
ruled that II boy has m innllenable
| right TO climb u tree. But there IL also
the fathers inallenablc right to thrash
him for tearing his clothes while doing
| II.
Goodwin Smith wants to know why,
II the theory of evolution Is correct, no
more monkeys nre developing into
men. Perhaps it IL because 40 many Of
the sons Of men are cvolutlns the other
, way.
&e
A man complained to tho police be.
cause he was held up ana robbed Of %
cents. Had he been fighting man, he
would have shown the highwayman no
quarter.
Mark Twain says this country Is 60
Ing to become a monarchy, and Chan
cellor Day will probably be glad to
nominate II. II. Rogers as the opening
monarch.
The newest thing In vests. as shown
at the convention Of the National Gus
tom Cutters Association In Chicago,
buttons down the back. FellOw-cltl.
zcns. shall we stand for this?
Ccsarc LOmbrosO gives 1t as his Opin-
lon that Harry Thaw Is a degenerate
because his nose IL crooked. Cesare
noglects to explain whether the degen-
eracy causes the croOkedness or results
from 1t.
An exchange expresses the opinion
that the twentieth century will prove
to be woman's century. Still, she will
no doubt permit us to share 1t with
her.
49,
One Of the leading physicians of
Baltimore has begun to 20 hatless, and
he advises all other men to do the
} same, assuring them that If they will
; do so they will never be bald-hcaded
But what encouragement Is there In
this movement for the man who Is
really bald?
Says Mrs. Carrie Gait: "A wife mus
train her husband and keep him trained
just as one trains a young mule" Fal
be 1t from our intentions to say any
thing that would seem like contradic
ton of Mrs. Gait, but We would like t
ask what the average wife knows abOu
: training mule?
Prof. Smaller Mathews says marriage
Ia no picnic. But that 10 only Ills opln
Ion. BY reference to our scrapbook w