davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21
FOOTBALL DEFINITIONS.

"a reader asks US to give him the
definitions Of various football terms.
Here is the best We can do on short
notice, The sporting editor will please
correct us II we make any mistakes.)
Ends-The two extremes.
Flying Wedge-Piece OF pie used as
a missile,
Rush-See growleT.
Gridiron-Scene of the broil,
Eleven-Number OF cots held in
readiness at the hospital.
Long Pass-Season complimentary
Left Guard-One who has missed
the train.
Halfback-Enect given by a low
corsAge in ball dress.
Goal-Primitive arrangement o.
Pa scautling.
Pigskin-cuticle of an end-seat hog
Chicago Journal.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21
Deal In Shoddy Clothing.

Many of the old-timers these days
wonder why the clothing they used
to wear years ago was so much better
than is now se5urable unless extreme
ly high prices be paid. A little thought
makes an explanation easy. This is
an age Of advancement in every way.
and frauds increase along with i'm.
proved machinery, scientific methuol .,
etc. In fact the whole system Of I'm.
proveInent seems to involve means of
l%essening cost Of production.
Thirty years ago such a thing as
shoddy was not known. When one
purchased a suit of clothes, 1t was
"all WOOL" but at present 1t Is an ex.
ceptional thing In cheaper garments
to find this the case. The reports OF
the government show that each year
hundreds Of tons Of shoddy, OF wooden
goods ground up, are imported into
the United States, and a heavy duty
paid on the anne This shoddy is
manufactured into cloth by various
processes. 1t is most often woven
around a cotton thread, and some.
times Is forced into the texture after
the cloth is w In samples sen
out by the cheap clothing concerns
this shoddy can be picked out. Often
It is so loosely woven that II a bit OF
the cloth be crumbled between the
fingers, 1t will fall out in the form Of
dust. Great quantities of this
cloth are utilized by the makers o.
cheap clothing who do business
through the mails direct with the
wearers. A suit Of this kind car b.
purchased from eight to $20-anC
dear at that. The goods general!
look well, but lose shape, and in a few
weeks show all their defects. Seldom
are such goods sold by regular cloth
ing merchants, who have a reputation
to maintain, and II they are, they ar,
sold without Misrepresentation.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21
Punishment.

An actor who recently was taken"
while on the stage by a cinemato.
graph was greatly pleased with the
result. Talking about It to a promi-
nent dramatic critic. he said:
1T was the most extraordinary ex,
p~erience / ever went through-actual.
ly to see myself acting"
"Now," replied the critic. you will
understand what we have to put up
with"
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21

clio. concludes with the following
couplet. In translation:
Here I am inclosed, Dante. exiled from
my native country,
Whom Florence bore. the mother that
little did love HIM."
In the Santa Croce in Florence
there is a vacant tomb below the
monument erected by Ricci. The
Florentlnes have again and again re.
quested the bones OF the poet from
Ravenna, but Ravenna as declined
to part with them. The last request
was made in 1854 The first was in
1887, when Taddeo Gaddi completed
his portrait of Dante in the lower fig.
ures Of the Paradise painted by
Giotto on the walls of the chapel Of
the Podesta. Gaddi probably had for
his model a sketch made by his
master. Giotto. from life.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21
Japanese Shipments Of Lumber.

Consult General J. 2, Bray Of Mel.
bourne reports that a few months ago
the first cargo OF Japanese lumber ever
shipped to Australia was landed in
Melbourne and met with such a ready
market that a further shipment has
Just arrived and there seems every
probability OF a permanent business
being estaL lished. The cargoes con
sist OF pine, oak. ash and Eastwood. In
logs Of various sizes squared by the
axe only. and. It ID said. a be landed
In Australia at a lower figure than
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21
Glass ~BIackboards

An innovation at the College of the
City Of New York in its new home
on St, Nicholas Heights Is the use Of
glass b~lackbOards, What is written
on a glass blackboard may be read
from any angle except from behind 1t,
as DR.. Baskerville, professor OF chem.
istry, explained to his students. When
a blackboard eases to be a wall slate
then what will it become? Evidently
a new word must be coined.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21
Bunkoed.

What is the matter, Uncle JIM"
Matter? Why those blamed city
fishermen are the biggest %fabricators
on the face of the earth"
in what way?"
why they told me there was the
finest kind Of spoon fishing in this
stream. Here l have been fishing
four hours with every kind Of a spoon,
from a kitchen spoon to a silver tea.
spoon, and, by heck, I haven't got so
much as a nibble yet!"--Chicago
Daily News.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21

petiments along the line of our sug.
gestions. OF course such a home as
would result from them would be no
IL place for children. but then children
are going out of fashion anyhow.
Some critical comments have been
advanced by students of art and eti-
duette upon the fact that in the Can
ton monument of President Mckinley
be is shown with his hand in his peck.
ct. Ordinarily we should be disposed
to agree to these objections, because
II Ia not quite the thing for a man to
stand that way. Children are taught
cts. Orators who address m%ultltudes
In this pose have from time immemor-
ial been subjected TO circumstances
for forgetting the teachings Of their
mothers In this respect, and we be-
lieve that in all cultivated communi'
ties the habit is regarded as a bad one
Nevertheless In days like these per.
haps there is a subtle point Of strength
in the representation. II will be OBJ
served that Mr.. Mckinley Is shown
with his hand in his own pocket and
not In that OF somebody else, which In
an era Of graft may be said to be sig.
nificant-or at least unusual. We're
the builders OF the Pennsylvania CAPT.
tol for instance to be rendered immor.
tai In enduring brass, strict adherence
to truth would require that they should
be shown with their hands in the pub.
lie treasury. A statue TO any n Of
the latter-day leaders Of Tammany
hall In New York, to be faithful to
facts, would have to show the individ.
ual with his paw in the pocket of an
%allegorical figure representing the tax.
payers. A monument to certain stew.
ards of omnipotence now on earth who
have managed to corral all the dollars
there are In the world, and four more
besides, would doubtless. II correctly
modelled, show Uncle John d. and
Cousin Andrew and Brother II. II. II.
with their hands, II not actually in the
pockets OF the common people, at
least with their fingers reaching nerv.
ously out In that direction. On the
whole, for the moral lesson It conveys
and as commemorative certain unusn.
al conditions in his day and generation
we guess this pose Of the lamented
president, with his hand where 1t has
a right to be, justifies its selection by
the sculptor, Is appropriate. and will
therefore stand.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21
Mail Order House competlt,on

The competition Of the mail order
houses, one Of the most threatening
perils of the country druggist partic-
ularly, continues to grow. The pro-
viding Of successful means for COM
batting this unfair competition is i'm
perative but exceedingly difficult to at
tain. Conferences with commercial
organizations in other lines Of bust
ness concerning this matter are advis-
able, providing no legal ENHANCEMENT
would result therefrom.-Detroit Re.
tall Druggist.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21
Another Kicker.

Uncle Abraham was fishing in the
mill pond. For the fifth time he had
baited his hook only 10 find some
wary denizen Of the sluggish pond
had got away with the worms.
Lands sake, Marcus" drawled the
old man, as he raked about in the
can, u don't blame Marsy Roosevelt
for dom so much kickin'."
What about, pap" asked his small
son.
Why, dis heah re-baitin' system.
1t am a perfect nuisance. "-ChicagG
Daily News.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21
REVENGE,

Wasn't 1t embarrassing to stand up
and rocite that piece before the com
pany, after ~overhearing that odious
Miss ,rartun say 1t always made her
sick to hear you read?" asked the in
innate friend.
mo, 1t was fun" answered the anna.
teur elocutionist. 1T was the keenest
pleasure In the world to know l was
making her ck."-Chicago Tribune.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21

Widow (sobbing)-We will have to
break off our intended marriage.
Suitor (dismayed)-What on earth
Is the matter?
Widow told my daughter this
morning I was going to get married
again, and she objected.
Suitor-What did she say?
Widow-She said the idea made her
tired-so tired, that she could not
and would not go a step.father.--Balti
more American.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21
A Bio Difference.

Diogenes-What is the difference
between a plain, downright burglar
and these financiers who wreck big in.
stitutions?
Cynicus-A great difference, my
friend. The burglar blows up good,
useful safes, and Just takes the
money. The financial wrecker mere.
ly unlocks the safe, takes the money
and puts the loot on the books as as.
sets.-Baltimore American.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21
A Surprise,

Policeman hope, sir, youn vote
for Blinks.
Business Man-What Blinks? The
Blinks who Just got out OF the peni.
Tertiary?
NO, indeed"
"Oh, you mean the Bllnks just ar.
rested for bOodling?"
NO; ] mean Blinks the business
man, friend Of education, member OF
the church, and"
My stars. How did he come to get
nominated IN. Y. Weekly.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21
A SONG.

Not ail,the cold OF the arctic zones,
Nor all the chilling winds that blow;
Not all the winters monotones,
Nor mountain heaps of ice and snow
Would ever chill me through and
through
As just one unkind word from you.
Nor could the warmth OF tropic sun,
Though II were blazing on my head,
Remove the blight that had been done,
When hat one bitter word Was said.
No fire that earth or Heaven may hold,
Could warm me II your love grows cold.
Detroit Free Press.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21
QUEER PLACE FOR NEST.

A sparrow has built a nest in a
,orner pocket Of the pool table in
the Active hose company's building
I Bloomfield, N. j. Patrick Hig-
gins, foreman of the company,
found the sparrow trying to hatch
three eggs in the same nest with
the ivory cue ball when he invited
several friends to join him in a game
of pool recently. Many Of the resi-
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21

my PLATFORM" shouted the orator.
bringing his fist down with a resound.
Ing thwack on the desk before him,
lis. Leave well enough alone!'"
beg pardon whispered the chair.
man Of the meeting, an eminent Bos.
ton citizen, pulling his coat tails
gently. Let well enough alone Is
the preferable form."-Chicago Tri.
bune.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21
FOR DANTE'S TOMB

aged at his failure, he soon afterward
died from fever contracted on the
way.
Dante was buried in the FRANCISCAN
convent opposite the house in which
he dwelt. The street running between
is now called the Via Dante. and ina
corner Of the convent wall there
stands a little chapel with the monu
ment and two inscriptions, one Of
which, composed by Bernardo Canac-
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21

We learn from the Paris Figaro
that a clergymen's union has been
formed In New York which ID demand.
Ing higher salaries. The movement
seems to be spreading. for we read
further: while waiting for the
American government to take the
proper steps, 40 pastors have already
renowned their charges In the state
Of P~ittsburg." ..
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21
The Exception.

SLOW and sure" remarked the man
with the quotation habit, lis a good
motto"
But" protested the thoughtful
thinker, there Is n thing that can
never be slow and sure"
What's that?" queried the quota.
ton dispenser.
"A watch" replied the t. t..-Chica.
go Daily News.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21
WITH THE PHOTOGRAPHERS.

II is sometimes interesting when
one has nothing else to do to speculate
somewhat on how things would be II
certain illustrious ~personages of for.
mer times were among US to-day pur.
suing as OF old the evil or baneicent
tenor of their respective ways. How
our newspapers would have reveled in
the spicy details OF the life of the
much-married Henry VIII, for in.
stance. What a fruitful scarce OF
mirthful inspiration for the humorous
photographers east and west--uspecial.
ly west-would have been MS natri.
mon!al entanglements. finding expires.
sion, no doubt, in items like the FOL.
lowing:
The engagement of his majesty
Henry VIII. of England to Miss Anne
Boleyn is announced. We wonder II
his royal highness has any more
queens up his sleeve.-Chicago Ga.
zoot.
The king of England is said to have
the largest collection of mo,hers.in.
law in existence. If his ma is
looking for another We will gladly let
him have ours for sl.1O. although the
lady has cost us at least twice that
amount in real money.-Denyer
Whirald.
There's n thing to be said on
King Henry's behalf. He doesn't marry
a new wife without first axing her IRE.
decessor.-Portland Times. Dugle.
It's no use, Hen, old man. BrigLsm
Young is still 4j laps ahead of va -
Dallas Landmark.
The king of England runs his m.atri.
monial trains on the block system
Washington Moon.
Looks TO us as If Henry was trying
to corne the matrimonial market.
There's a job lot of old maids up In
New England, Hank, that's worth look.
ing at.-New Orleans C%atterwaul.
In the British deck the queen seems
to be more or less of a two.spot.-Ari.
IONA Flapjack.
It's a wise Englishman knows his
W queen.-Boston Wig.Wag.
One cannot, Of course, say Just what
effect the work OF the paragraphers
would have had upon the achieve.
ments OF such a man as Napoleon
B~onapaTte. II has not served very
much to the disadvantage OF certain OF
our own great men, and yet there are
those who believe that but for the
photographers Hobson would still be q
hero, and Dewey's chances for the
presidency would be less remote than
they seem at this writing to be
Doubtless, however, the great Corsican
would have found many such items as
these In the American papers In the
course Of his career:
Emperor Napoleon has taken hi,
army to Egypt to give it more sand
The Elmira Hornet.
LIS a good thing for Napoleon Bona
parte that Kaiser William isn't borr
yet. a real war lord or two that knew
his business would make him look lik,
a franc and a half.-Tonopah Spread
Eagle.
Wei, we are sorry for the Empress
Josephine, bu' then suppose instead O
marrying a princess he'd run off witt
a chorus girl? Cheer up, Josie! TIL,
worst is yet to come.-Harrisbur
Evening Howl.
/, Anyhow. the emperor hasn't ha
the cheek to claim that Marie Louis
Is his affinity. Pueblo Town.Topic,
They say that affair at the bridge {
Lodl was pretty strenuous. but A.
. uolIars to petit fours cat Napoleo
would have finched trying to do m
same thing a. the Brooklyn bridg
during the rush hour.-N. Y. Blade
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21
The Up-to-Date,

81 suppose you go to the city at
least once a year." said the summer
boarder.
II used tew," replied the old farmer,
but / amt been thar fer nigh onto
three years meow. Sense we got rural
free delivery l kin git bunkoed jist as
well by mail, b'gosh!"
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21
ch,Idr.n,s DANGEROUS Climb.

Asserting that his children were
champion juvenile s~teeplejacks, John
Thomas Aiken, a well-known chimney
Jack, was bound over to st. Helen's
England, on a charge Of causing his
three children-Baden, Ave years old;
Gertrude, seven. and Lydia. fifteen
to take part In a dangerous perform
ance by climbing a chimney ITO feet
hitch
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21
His Little Scheme.

stern Parent-What! Give you tho
hand OF my daughter in marriages
why your salary isn't sufficient to
pay rent.
foung Man-True. but | am figrr.
nag on parental assistance.-Chicapo
Daily News.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21
Set Apart for Esnosltion.

The japanese government has ap.
proDriated the sum Of $1,000. 900 gold
toward the international exposition "a
be held at Toxic In 1912. The money
is to be paid in instruments from 1905
TO 1914.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21
Had Tried PoIitics.

Great Statesman Ito married daugh.
ter)-My dear. your husband will
never amount to anything II you don't
spur him on. Why don't you persuade
him to go into politics?
Daughter-But, pa. he has tried, and
he can't stand it. The whisky makes
him sick.-N. Y. Weekly.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21
Carlsbad SPRINGS,

Sandy Pikes-Dis paper says
science comedies dat de world Is going
insane.
Gritty George-Don't doubt II In de
least, pard. ! read de other day
where a nan travelled 1000 miles to
drink water. Think Of dat!-Chicago
Daily News.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21
NAVAL POSTWAR cows CREEK
WITH PENCIL CASE.
Looked Like a Revolver and Checked
Murderous Assault - Desperate
Adventure in the H2rbor
Of Patras.

The British protected cruiser, TO
which ! act as postmlI, was anchored
one dark winter evening about 2 mile
from the crude bre2kwater Of Fatlas.
Immediately upon the arrival Of tn
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21
Benefit for Boston STRANGERS.

The Rev. Eugene C. Webster, of
Boston, has begun work to establish
a Little Church Around the Corner"
for the benefit Of the theatrical per
sons and other strangers In Boston.
whom he believes need such an In,
stitution.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21

The Inhabitants of China have
awakened to a sense OF the convent.
enee OF having telephones. Many lines
are being projected,
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21
HEROIC.

Knicker-What do you consider a
test for a poet?
Bocker-Ability to ride Pegasus
on a hard unequivocal trot for five
miles.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21
Double Quick.

Gunner-You say he has several
running accounts in this town. Why
don't his debtors collect them?
Guyer-They can't. He runs faster
than the accounts.-Chicago Daily
News.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21

dents visited the firehouse 90 see
the strange sight. Foreman Hig-
gins says that all pool games must
be postponed indefinitely.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21
Thoughtful.

Say, pa, won't you buy me a
drum"
mo, I'm afraid you'd disturb me
with the noise"
mo ! won't, pa; III only drum when
you're asleep."-Life.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21
Coffee crop In Brazil.

A monstrous coffee crop in Brazil Is
reported for the year ending June 80
2o,409. 1850 bags. representing an In.
crease of s.S5S.s02 bags over the pre-
ylous year.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21
. Accounting for II.

do you know. dear, our gas man
is a poet"
"Humph! That accounts for the
rapid flow OF his meter."-Balti.
more American.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21
Toxic Street Railway gsrninos.

The gross earnings Of the Toxic
street railways are from $1,000 to
$4,000 a day, and probably reach sl5,.
900 a day when the flower season be.
gins.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21
Building Their Own prIson

At the federal prison at Leayen.
worth, kas', S65 prisoners are engaged
In building around and over them the
very prison in which they will be
confined. This institution, when com
pleted, will be the largest and oest.
quipped federal prison In the country
1t was begun in 1895 and probably will
not be finished for several years. I,
has a frontage of 500 leet, with .
depth OF 300 feet in the rear.
The world will never be driven n
Gnd by adxariIrInn H. a
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21
Stopped.

"Tompkins doesn't run people down
the way he used TO-"
MOI"
mo. He sold his automobile"
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21

Bernard Shaw's latest advertising
dodge is to come. out in favor of polyg.
amy. Whether he will practice what
he breaches should be interesting to
the police, and yet after all would not
polygamy do much toward solving the
present very complicated so-called do.
nestle problem? We are all of us
having trouble in getting cooks, laun-
dresses, housemaids and whatnot who
Will consent to grace our homes for
any appreciate space OF time, entirely
irrespective Of the question of wages.
Now, If by a system of polygamy a
man might marry his cook, his laun.
dress, his waitress and all the othe.
lady help Of his household at the same
time, 20 that II they refused 10 stay
over two weeks, oil positively declined
to go to the country, he could sue
them for divorce on the charge of
abandonment and get alimony, would
not the situation clear up materially ?
For ourselves we are quite satisfied
with present conditions, especially
when the milllner's bills come in, but
we must admit that II the laws were
so amended that a man could have
highly specialized wives for highly
specialized duties It might materially
mitigate the sufferings Of others not SO
fortunate In the matrimonial grab.ba ?
as We have been. 1t Is undeniable thai
d man who had a variety Of wives
one TO do his cooking, one TO launder
one to sweep, one to play the pianola
and sing Waiting at the Church
when he felt the need OF sweet music
one to stenog, one to darn his socks
and keep bis buttons where the,
would do the most good, one to tall
lbsen, Shaw and Maeterlinck to him il
the silent watches of the night, and on,
who vas always ready to have a goot
time in any old way that turned VI
would have precious little excuse 70
being detained downtown on bushes
or any use for a club. II might prov
a bankrupting venture, but we never
theless hope Mr.. Shaw will sacrific
himself for the benefit OF his fellow
men for whose moral welfare he il a
ways 50 solicitous and try a few ca
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21

We know a man who is so incor.
rightly small and mean a mo~lly-coddle
that even his friends refer TO him as
q condensed milksop."
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21

But II in youth you are careful and
true.
And guard her and hold her from
stress.
In age she'll prove a protector TO you
And cheer YOU with loving caress-
Like the dollari
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-11-21

THE hard question with me-" said
the vexed father Of a family the other
day, is not how to bring my children
up. The main point is how in thunder
| can keep EN- down"