davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-12-25
Guests Who Won't Order

The business man returned to his Of.
flee i'll Il bad temper after the lupcheon
hour. 81 wish people who haven't
minds of their own would come to a
realizing sense of the bother that they
are to their friends and would devel.
op little initiative on their own ac.
count" he said. Maybe it's only d
mistaken idea Of politeness, but any.
how it's q nuisance to be entertaining
n person Mt the club and have him ut.
terly without ideas as to what he wants
to eat and drink. You ask him and he
says he'll leave 1t to you, which is ex.
actly what you don't want him to do.
How can you divine his tastes, I'd like
to know? What appeals to you very
likely won't to him, and you know and
he knows it. But your selections from
the menu are always met with the
comment That's very NICE or You
couldn't suit ME better And SO you
go through the meal in hit and miss
fashion that certainly gets on the
nerves of the host. The next time /
run up against that kind of man I'm
just going to sit back and let him do
the entire ordering."-New York Press
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-12-25
Terrapin,

Terrapin begin laying about the mid.
die of May and hatch in about thirty
days. The female terrapin scratches
hole In the sand with her fore paws
deposits her eggs. from thirteen to
nineteen. in it and then covers them
up and leaves the heat of the sun OF,
the sand to hatch out the young terra
pins. They are not much bigger when
Matched than a mans thumb nail and
are as soft as dough They crawl
around pretty lively and begin to hunt
for their food. consisting of small: fish.
crabs, etc. The first summer they are
quite small. and about the first to the
middle of November they go into their
winter quarters These consist OF
some soft mutlhole in the marsh OF
on the bottom of some stream. Here
they sleep until about the middle of
April OF later, when they come out and
are OF quite respectable size say fou,
inches iii breadth The next year they
are six inches and the third seven
Inches IN breadth. 1t is undoubtedly
while the terrapin s.umbe:s in the
mud that he acquires the peculiar
qualities for which we admire him
1t is the only flesh known which ona
can crush in his mouth with his tongue
without the aid of his teeth. The 9th.
Ell animals run about. sleeping only at
night. The terrapin sleeps night and
day for six or seven months of the
year and takes his night maps. too, for
the balance of the Baltimore
SIM
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-12-25
PAY of Army Officers.

A glance over the army list shows
that over two-thirds of the officers are
receiving less pay per day than good
mechanics receive in civil life. The
officer has no home, but must be pre-
pared 20 live in the nrctics or the trop-
les aud change from one to the other
at short notice. He must have equip
ment for both, and while in one place
the equipment for the other is stored
and deteriorating. He is sent on long
Journeys to distant stations and must
suffer Punishment from his family or
take them along. Either is Il great
expense one hand for travel and
on the other for maintenance of two
establishments. His changes of sta
tion are SO frequent that he must put
his children in costly private schools
or see them grow up in ignorance. Be
cause lie is an officer Of. the United
States service to use the responsibility
OF his position to add to his income
commercially is regarded US repre-
henslble, and If he makes an invest
anent he must intrust his interests to
an agent.-Army and Navy Life.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-12-25
The Simple Minded kurds.

Some of the peculiar traits of the
kurds of Asia Minor are described by
a traveller: IF it We're possible to i'm
agine two colors more distinct than
black and white it would be possible
to imagine two characters more wide
ly differing than those of the Arab and
Eurd. The pure Kurd is the most I'M
sophisticated and gullible person in
the world so long as you keep away
from the material issues. His respect
for a man who can read and write is
almost pitiable. The Kurds are on the
whole blunt and somewhat uncouth,
silent and quite incapable of false
hood. If they do wrong-and they Of
ten do--they admit the fault in the
simplest and most unaffected way. /
had muleteer who was honest, civil
and incorrigibly idle. Did you ever
kill a man:' asked him one day.
Yes; sixteen on the Khazat road
when was deserter from the army ;
came the reply in voice absolutely
unmoved. You We're robber? Yes,
but now, praise be to God, am mar
ried and a muleteer.'
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-12-25
A Waters Amazing Wall.


Men go about" he said, complain
ing of being mistook for walters, but
1t is on the other foot really that the
shoe rests Us walters are the real
compliments In these cases of mistak,
en- identity Our kicks are sincere
The others ring false. For at dances
and balls and such like brushes many
young man makes money by being
mistook for waiter. How does he
make money? Why, he is tipped, and
all them tips he pockets, never think
ing of handing them over to their
rightful owners. AT every big affair
we count on loss of 5 per cent
through the dishonest advantage that
impecunious young swells take of be
Ing mistook for walters" : Phlladel.
phia Bulletin.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-12-25
rhs Old. Old Story.

Hot. tired and dusty, the excursion
was returning from the seaside day
trip. and Simkins, little bald man
with big ears, overcome with his day
Of happiness. dropped off to sleep. In
the hatrack above another passenger
had deposited a ferocIous crab In Il
bucket, and when SimkIns went to
sleep the crab woke up and, finding
things dull in the bucket, started ex-
pioring. By careful navigation Mr..
Grab reached the edge of the rack, but
the next moment down 1t fell, alight-
ing on Simkins' shoulder. Not feeling
quite safe. 1t grabbed the yoluminous
ear of Stmkins to steady itself, and
the passengers held their breath and
waited for developments. But Sim
kins only shook his head slightly.
"Let go, Eliza" he murmured. 81 tell
you I have been at the office all the
.eyening."-London Pick-Me-Up.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-12-25
He Knew Her.

The conductor looked at tile thin
man
do you see that stout woman ct the
other end of the car, the one with the
monkey hat:" he asked.
81 think see the one you mean," the
thin man responded.
There, she's looking this way" said
the conductor. "Well, sir, admire
that woman
you dog
Eyes, do. She may have a squirt
and wear bad fitting clothes and big
shoes, yet admire her,"
"Why?"
"She knows how to get off a car the
right way, and that's why. She's too
stout, and her hair is ratty, and she
hasn't any taste, but when she steps
down from the back platform 1 never
worry. / know she'll land all right.
I'm dead sure she isn't going to sit
down in the mud and ask me for my
number That's why l admire her
Here she comes now. Watch her when
she gets off,"
The stout woman came down the
aisle and briskly descended to the
street. And the conductor, with his
hand on the bell rope, winked APPROX
ingly ut the slim man.
Then the stout woman looked around.
Come, George" she called, and the
slim man meekly followed her.-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-12-25
500 Reward $1oo.

The readers of this paper will be
pleased to learn that there is at
least one dreaded disease that
science has been able to cure in all
its stages, and that is Catarrh.
Halls Catarrh Cure is the only posi-
tive cure now known to the medical
fraternity. Catarrh being consti-
tutional disease, requires a consti-
tutional treatment. Halls Catarrh
Cure is taken internally, acting d.
rectly upon the blood and mucous
surfaces of the system, thereby de-
stroying the foundation of the d.
sease, and giving the patient
strength by building up the consti-
tuition and assisting nature in doing
its work: The proprietors have so
much faith in its curative powers
that they offer One Hundred Dollars
for any case that it fails to cure.
Send for list of testimonials.
Address F. J. CHENEY & Co /.
Toledo, o. Sold by all druggists,
75c. Take Halls Family Pills for
constipation.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-12-25
Tho Wettest Trade.

The lot Of the Ceylon pearl diver is
not an easy one. Stones are suspended
on running rope over an outrigger
projected from the boats side in such
a convenient position us to allow the
diver to place one foot within loop
affixed to the stone. The diver, having
placed himself with one foot on the
stone, with net around his neck to
hold oysters, draws in his breath,
closes the nostrils with one hand and
raises his body to give force to the
descent. The manduck Tor divers at
tendanD, in charge of the stone and
nets, lets go, and the diver rapidly
reaches the bottom, leaves the stone,
which the manduck Instantly hauls up
and refiXes, throws himself on the
ground, creeping along, and fills his
net with oysters. This done, he jerks
the rope, which is pulled up by the
manduck in charge, and the contents
Of the net are discharged into the boat.
The diver meanwhile rises to the sur
face.-Ceylon Manual.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-12-25
Proof of Brains.

Mr.. Travers, the famous New York
wit, once met at dinner a pompous
Engllshman who was doing" the
States. He had letters a-plenty attest
ing his importance-letters from Glad
stone, Dixie, Salisbury and Churchill.
He had talked everybody tired before
the dinner began, and Travers saw
visions of bad meal when he dis
covered the Englishman to be his
neighbor at the table. There was new
err II stop in the fellows tongue. When
the oysters were brought ON he be-
gan: Nov, it is question as to
whether or not the oyster has brains.
Scientists dispute the idea" "T-t-t- they
certainly have some," retorted Travers.
"four proof, sir!' challenged the Brit
on, eager for argument -wh-wh-
why, sir, the o-o-oyster knows h,hah-
how to shut up'
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-12-25
American Temperament and Art.


The majority of the men and women
who gave American life It's form and
direction We're not the children of an
artistic race. though they were the
heirs Of n great literature. They de.
scended from a people who have never
pursued art as an end and whose first
instructive expression In meeting great
experiences has never been artistic,
but who have never divorced action
from vision nor failed in the long run
to match power in action with some
kind Of beauty In speech. From its
English ancestry the country has III
herited an ingrained and inelfaceable
idealism of nature, which enormous
tasks and hitherto incredible prosper
lily have at times smothered and blight
ed, but never destroyed. From other
races have come richer temperament.
quicker sensibilities, craving for joy
and love of beauty for Its own sake,
which have already immensely enrich.
ed American art and are subsoili.g
American life.-Hamilton Mabie in At
lantic.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-12-25


The rivalry was great ut the annual
cricket match police versus publlcans,
and many friendly bets depended on
the result. When the last hatsman,
Police Constable Robinson, walked to
the wicket the police required only two
runs to win, and naturally great cx-
element prevailed. He batted with
due care until n loose ball came. and,
hitting this past mid-on. he started for
an easy run. He got home comferta
bly, before the wicket was thrown
down, but to his disgust he was given
out
why" exclaimed the Indignant con-
stable. 81 was Il yard past the wicket.'
.'Mebhee." said the umpire in SUI
pcrcilious tone, "but. yer see. it amt
what You say; it's what say, an
say you'm QUIT"
But began the irate Robinson.
"D'yer remember" interrupted the
umpire, mcditativcly scratching his
nose. 'sayin' to me bout six months
ago. Don't argue with the law Well,
You was the law that time an was
run in. Now lie added. triumphant,
"I'm the law an you're run out!"-
London Tit-Bits.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-12-25
No Chesterfield.
\ Boston man was praising the lat
Earl of Dunmore.

A Boston man was praising the late
Earl of Dunmore.
Lord Dunmore," he said, "was n
good man. Tall and robust and sup.
pie, can see him still with his short
gray beard and his kind face. His only
fault-a fault due to his aristocratic
upbringing, no doubt-was the exag-
gerated value that he set upon correct
ness. lie insisted in correctness in eat
ing, in dress, in everything.
AT dinner in Beacon street once 1
heard him tell story about an incor-
rect self made man, or 'nouveau richie
as lie called him. This man was dress.
ing one night to go out. His wife bus
tied into the room before he started to
look him over.
"'But, George she said reproach-
fully, aren't you going to wear your
diamond studs to the banquet?
"'No. What's the use? George
growled. My napkin would hide 'em
anyway New Orleans States.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-12-25
Pen Portrait of eriea.

Here is as vivid Il picture of Grieg the
man as any that has yet been drawn
A correspondent who saw the noted
Scandinavian composer when he re.
ceived his honorary degree at Cam
bridge, in England, in 1894, makes II
for the Manchester Guardian: at was
sad and a strong face that we saw,
one might almost have said a grim
face, but that there was nothing of
hardness in it. Il face which must have
inspired both respect and affection in
all who met him. Yet as the little,
old looking man stood there in the red
and yellow gown of doctor of music
there was something homogeneous
about his appearance. the head. en-.
circled with long. straight, white hair.
appearing above the still sitter.
straighter lines of gaudy brocaded silk.
which descended to the ground in the
form Of Il regular cone, and the smile
of one visitor. who remarked that they
made him lcck Just like n penwiper
was ii'resis:ibly accurate"
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-12-25

A Wall street financier was talking
about music. II like all music" he
said, except such native and special
sorts as the tontom, the bagpipes or
the Indian hufaa give off. Did you
ever notice how piper Frances up
and down as he pipes? He never sits,
he never stands still, but up aud down,
round and round, to and fro, he struts
continually. A little boy, listening to
the weird skirl of the bagpipes of a
street performer, once said to his IA
ther, Father, why does the piper keep
on the move all the time he plays?
I can't say, my boy the father an
swered, unless it is to prevent any,
one getting the range with a cobble,
cforaSs
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-12-25
The Iowa Homestead.

Good farming, based on sound
principles of science and practice,
was never more important or prof.
table than now. The Homestead,
an agricultural and live stock paper
published every Thursday at Des-
Moiues, Iowa. is the best exponent
of good farming. The Homestead
is edited by farmers who live upon
and operate their own farms right
here in the middle. West, SO that
their teachings are thoroughly prac-
teal. 1t has departments devoted
TO Horticulture, poultry, sheep,
dairy, veterinary, laws affecting
farmers, current events, house and
home, Sunday school lesson, editor
ial comment. live farm gossip, etc.,
and its contributors include able and
successful farmers and experiment
station experts throughout the
West Many farmers in this vicini.
ty are already subscribers for the
Homestead and all should be; as
whatever adds to the practical
knowledge Of the farmer increases
the value of land and enhances the
prosperity of the community. We
take subscriptions for this splendid
farm paper at this Office; and, by
special arrangement with the pub
fisher. can give you low subscrip-
ton IA, for it in connection with
The MANCHESTER Democrat. 4S CIV
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-12-25
Correct Interpretation Essential

Many Of the most beautiful pieces
Of poetry in literature would seem I'M
interesting and fiat If read by bad
reciter. In the same way good re-
otter will make attractive poem
whose beauties are not SO apparent.
A fine painter will light up each little
beauty in his pictures until the small
est detail is attractive and strikes the
eye. 1t is only the mediocrity whose
work is characterized by sameness and
lack Of interest.-Strand Magazine.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-12-25

Persian is said to be not very DIFF
ficult language The modern Persian
is very much like the English in Its
sensible rejection Of the infections that
burden SO many of the worlds tongues.
There is no difference of termination
to mark the gender either In nouns
or adjectives, and all inanimate things
are neuter In other ways the Persian
language conforms to the English.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-12-25
Hiah Livina.

An eminent man who is strict alb
stainer from both wine and animal
food is obliged in consequence of this
popularity to refrain from dining out
He entertains, however, an occasional
kindred spirit. One such was recently
at his table.
"You ought to have seen them" said
the eminent mans son. "rloting over
boiled carrots!'
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-12-25

Admiral WaG24tmas fine old sailor
and he was recognized us thorough
No personal friendship softened his
manners to Il delinquent. One day
when he was sailing out from uamp-
ton Roads With the international fleet
that helped us to celebrate the centen-
NAL of Washington's first Inaugural
ton his orders about weighing anchor
were disobeyed by his dearest friend
In the service, who was in command
of one of the ships. and as the old
Chicago. the flagship. passed the
trembling culprit the navies of the
world heard his whskers" thunder.
ing out from the bridge objurgations
and expressing wonder at his OWE
moderation in not putting his old com.
rade under arrest. At another time
when the White squadron was sailing
out of Mediterranean bay another
old friend worked his ship so awk.
wardly that the admiral-then nearly
trade dollar admiral''-suspended him
by signal in the face of the whole fleet.
The punished captain, coming aboard
to protest against his public lnpri.
mand. pulled out Indignantly, 4 6y.
sir, l never heard of such a thing"
WELL" said John, pulling at his big
side whiskers. you've heard of Il
now."-Harper's.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-12-25
Loca! and NeighboIhood News
The daily Register and Leader is


The daily Register and Leader is
offered to new subscribers from now
to April 10, 1907, for one dollar.
Thousands of Iowa people consider
The Register and Leader to be the
best newspaper printed for Iowa
readers. 1t gives all the news of
the state and nation every morning.
Delivered on almost,all rural routes
on the day of publication. Get the
full advantage Of this trial offer by
sending your dollar to-day. Ad-
dress, The Register and Leader Co.,
Des Moines, Iowa, or the publisher
of this paper will forward your sub
scription.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-12-25
Beer cspacity of muaich Porte


An English family touring in Ba
vatla called at the world famous Hof
brauhaus the pride of Munich, writes
Our correspondent To the waitress
serving them the head of the family
In Il matter of fact way simply held
up his five fingers To the fnmilys
astoniahment, the waitress came back
with five quart pots filled to the brim
with beer The visitors bravely strug
gled with the beer, but managed to
dispose of only about a quart between
them, Knowing that it would be con
sidered an insult to leave beer, they
called porter and ordered him to
finish 1t. In less time than it takes
to relate 1t the Bavarian accomplished
the task Wiping his mustache, he
demanded slNpence for the sob" and
having obtained the money, instantly
ordered and emptied yet another quart
pot-London Mail
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-12-25
Poor Consolation.

"Oh, dearw exclaimed the society
woman. 81 feel so wretched, and this
is my receiving day too! do hope no
one will call, for FL be in misery all
the time"
WELL" remarked her husband face
tiously, II always understood that
misery loves company" Catholic
Standard.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-12-25
Passed Examination Successfully.

James Donahue, New Britain,
Conn.,, writes; Il tried several kid
ney remedies, and was treated by
our best physicians for diabetes, but
did not improve until l took Foley's
Kidney Cure. After the second
bottle | showed improvement, and
five bottles cured me completely.
l have since passed a rigid exami-
nation for life insurance" Foley's
Kidney Cure cures back-ache and
all forms Of kidney and bladder
trouble.-Anders & Philip.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-12-25
yins!ed His Wealth,

Young Scotch Precentor-M Man Tam
mas, there's ne thing bothers me sair
when I'm singin'. an l Gamma get
overt. I'm awfu' nervous
Old Precentor-Aye, aye. l wis the
same as you when l wis young, but l
found DOT Il cure, an I've aye kept
tact. jist pit seeven or acht coopers
IN my pouch, an when feel the nerv-
BUSINESS beginnin' l give them bit
rattle. 1t mali's me feel kin O. whit
I may ca independent like. Try't,
mon, try't.-Dundee Advertiser.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-12-25

Lecturing on New Guinea, A. II.
Dunning said he once offered native
some smelling salts. After going
through extraordinary contortions the
native went away, returning soon with
another native, whom he compelled to
make acquaintance with the salts. The
two brought a third. and so on until
the whole village had been victimized
The savages watched each new suffer.
err with the keenest delight and took
good care not to let him know what
fate awaited him.-London Standard
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-12-25
Logical supposition.

Little Lloyd = Papa, was George
Washington married to England: Pa
pa-Of course not, my son. Why do
you ask such u silly question? Little
Lloyd-Thls book says England is our
mother country, and rs George Wash
ington was the father of his country
supposed they We're Chicago
NawS
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-12-25

Unattractive Maiden Aunt-Goedby,
Jottie. Come soon again. hope you'll
forgive my not kissing you, but have
an awful cold. Jottie aged six)-Never
mind. Do kiss me, auntie. Mother
said she'd give me cents if I'd let
you.-EXchange
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-12-25
In Wooden Shoe Land.

Patience-Did you have any shoes
made in Holland? Patrice-Well. !
tried to have a pair made, but when
l went to get them they told me they
hadn't cut the tree down Yonkers
Statesman.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-12-25

Millions OF bottles Of Foley Hon
ey and Tar have been sold without
any person ever having experienced
any other than beneficial results
from its use for coughs, colds and
lung troubles. This is because the
genuine Foley's Honey and Tar in
the yellow package contains no OPT
ates or other harmful drugs. Guard
your health by refusing any but the
genuine-Anders & Philip.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-12-25
Uplifting the SAVAGE.

We have received the following spicy
analysis of British civilizing proce-
dures In Africa from young Egyptian
from Tanta, who shows dramatic apt
itudes. The title of his communities
cation Is:
A TRAGEDY IN SIX ACTS.
Act 1.-The missionary
Act 2.-Whisky and pale ale.
Act 3.-The Maxim gun.
Act "A newspaper.
Act 6.-Cricket and football.
Act G.-Death of the last aborigine.
Finis.-Band plays Rule Britannia"
Egyptian Standard.