The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1907-06-23
BORES YOU MEET ON TRAINS
THE NUISANCE WHO KEEPS TAB
ON THE TIMETABLE
And Worries the Other Passengers when
the Train IL Late-Then There Are the
Gloomy Man and the MAJ VINO Drinks
The Dining Car Splinter Another.

-Tno DINING Car BpFintef AnOtheF.
"Those were entertaining comparisons
between American and European railroads
made by Tody Hamilton in one OF his re-
cent patches OF "reminiscences in THE SUM-
said a travelling man. But / wish that
he would open up as to certain types Of
American travellers.
I've just finished q seventy-two hour
ride in a sleeping car. n that's a long
enough time a-rail for one to meet up with
a heap Of kinky people. The most fatiguing
travelling mate / met was, as usual, the
man who kept tab on the progress OF the
train.
II had a bunch Of timetables and maps,
and he was there to catch the railroad il
it didn't deliver the scheduled goods.
This line O. cars is a joke, amt it?' he'd
cay when we pulled into a station. Why.
we're four minutes late in getting here
! He'd hold his watch on the railroat,
! figuring out the time the train was making
by watching for the mile posts and making
elaborate pencilled calculations on the mar
gins OF the maps
Losing time constantly he'd repeat
dolefully every few minutes Dye know
that we've lost mir and two-thirds min
utes in the last twenty-one miles? This
line ought to be seized by the United States
Government and then sold at auction to
somebody that knows how to run a rail-
road
we had a hot box wait of about half an
hour. and the man who was there to see
to it that the railroad behaved looked as
pleased as il he'd caught a p~iokpocket in
the act of cribbing his watch.
Say. what did l tell your he asked
me-. his eyes shining with triumph. Didn't
] say this railroad was a bowling scream?
Next stops Tararaville. Well get there
ffty-eight minutes late, l calculate. Be
good enough to remember this prediction
and zee II / don't come out right
when the train reached Tararaville
just fifty.nine minutes late he looked as
delighted as if somebody had come along
and handed him a hatful of new money.
oh, I guess I'm the poor fgurer when
it comes to getting the kibosh on a punk,
hanky pank. tight waddish near railroad
like this one. hey?' he said to me, just
gloating over the trains lost time.
And he kept that kind of thing going
for the sixty and odd hours that he was
on the train. When, upon arriving at the
town where he got of, he found that his
representation that the train would be
just four hours Inc eleven minutes late
was verified to within three minutes, he
was so elated that he wanted me to get of
and have a drink with him.
Before parting with him / couldn't
resist the temptation to ask him:
Was the bushes that fetohes you to
this place Of so pressing a character that
you'll lose heavily by the lateness Of the
rain?
Why. bless your hide, no. he replied,
right of the reel, I'm in no hurry-got a
heap more time than money. But l just
like 10 catch these scoundrelly railroads
in the act of ~defrauding the public, that's
all
Irritating type Of travelling person,
hat. But, after all, he wasn't so much
worse than the grim visaged man who
found his keenest enjoyment in conversing
about railroad wrecks.
81 suppose you remember he'd say.
that there was an appalling wreck on this
line-and it wasn't so far from where the
train is right now, ~either-about three
years ago. Misplaced switch. / believe.
for their gross carelessness.
And, say, all this humbug about Sleep
ing cars coming out all right in these wrecks
makes me sick. There was a sleeper right
way, this sleeper is right behind the mail
garland the way the folks got crunched
up in their berths was awful,
And. by the way, glancing out OF the
window, that wreck not only happened
near where we're getting now but on just
such a night as this-thick and foggy.
Tell you what. I'd a whole lot rather ride on
one of the rear %sleeDers. / sure would-it |
seems to be just a cinch that the forward
sleeper in wrecks always gets knocked into
kindling wood then catches fire into the
bargain
Every time he got a chance that grisly
individual swung the talk around to this
sort of channel A man in the smoking
compartment who had a wife and four little
children travelling with him mopped his
~nervouslv every time the solemn
person fell to talking about the awful
of the MANNED and dying, with in
terspersed hints that the train we were
riding Oh had always been known as
a sort Of hoodoo train all along the line.
and his constant harpinR on the subject
eventually had its effect even upon a couple
OF seasoned travellers who were irving to
grab out a peaceful smoke in the compart-
ment.
I'VE we're all glad when he got of. AS
for himself. though. he seemed TO be rather
disappointed that something hadn't hap
pened.
We'll he said. picking un his trans TO
at his stop, ! hope O fellows won't
get worried over the fact that this Is the
~ the month and the last big
on this line happened on the night
Of the thirteenth and then he went, and
nav be it wasn't a relief to see his back!
Then for about twentv-four hours OF
the trip we had the nartiallv pickled man
who looks hurt and injured and abused and
iowntrodden and imposed Upon IL everv-
body in the smoking ~comnartent won't
AXE a drink Of raw red liquor with him
everv four minutes. Everybody's met that
one. too. I reckon.
"He had four big quart bottles in his bae,
he insisted was hoarv private stock
that had been buried awav in the cellar Of
an ancient Tennessee manor house for
wears. and he looked mon us
as oppressors Of the weak when we felt our
compelled TO watt awav his incessant
to souse ourselves in his brand.
In the morning. a couple OF hours before
he was due to leave the train-he WAS IN
his way home from the West TO see the old
folks for the first time in twelve wears, he
us-hed decided that he must shave
"The train was swirling through noun.
country an. there were msnv curves,
and 70, when we saw that he had no safety
razor, but n biz, old fashioned blade some
hing under the size of a Filipino bolo,
e~ndeavored to. dissnade him from that
ShRvinC thing. He took this as the mnni-
Of a conspiracy on our part 10 have
him praappt himgalf m the view NJ tho old