Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-10-12
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| First Boatman TO Second Ditto
Els got more brains In is cad than
you and me as got In the rest of our
bodies--TatleT.
Il want a plain cook" "Well, you'll
find plenty at this intelligence office.
This amt no beauty show. -Baitl-
more American.
Our train struck bear on the way
down" Was he ON the track2" mo;
the train had to go into the woods after
him. Louisville Courier-Journal.
Il hope he'll reform when you are
married" Il don't" why, he spends
every cent he earns |" Il know 1t, but
he spends 1t on me."--Houston Post.
Didn't you win anything In your
suit for damages7" NO." why didn't
you engage bright lawyer to take
your partg' Il did, but he took my
all" Philadelphia Press
Doctor Has your husband had any
lucid intervals since l was here last2
Wife Well, this morning he kept
shouting that you were an old fool, and
he tried to break the medicine bottles.
\ Life.
Snoggs My daughter is going to
marry young Scroggs Boggs Why, l
thought you hated him. Snoggs Il do.
This is a scheme of mine 10 have my
wife become his mother-in-law,-Cleve-
land Leader.
Laborers Wife Ito doctor What is
the matter with my husbandP Doctor
examining the patient)-I will tell
you In a minute. LaDorers Wife--You
won't make 1t anything expensive, viii
you, sir? Bliegende Blaetter.
Il say, mamma" asked little Tom
my, do fairy tales always begin with
Once upon a timer" NO, dear, not
always" replied mamma; they some
times begin with My love, l have been
detained at the office again tonight
Glasgow News.
Gracious y exclaimed Mr. Staylate.
tits nearly midnight. / should be go-
Ing pretty soon, | suppose" Yes" re-
piled Miss Patience Come, you know
the old saying, Never put of till to-
morrow what you can do to-day ~
Philadelphia Press
MY boy" admonished the minister,
don't you know that II Is wicked to
fish on Sunday7" Irish on SundayG"
repeated the boy in injured tones
why, mister, I'm only teachin' this
So. .>,s. at4tto ,.,.1..x, tnxo ia exU1n -
Every body's Magazine.
A yo1ng Englishman being asked ut
dinner whether he would have some
bird's-nest pudding said turning 10 tho
hostess: "Ahf yes, blrd's-nest pudding,
and what kind OF bird may have made
it?" "oh, IL was the cook-coo made it,"
was her prompt reply.
, Agent This is the motor car you
; want. You never have TO crawl under
! II to put It right Customer You
don't? mo If the slightest thing
goes wrong with the mechanism the car
instantly turns upside down."--Tit-
Bits.
The new boarder shifted at the con-
tents OF his coffee cup and set 1t down.
well" queried the landlady In a pee
Wish tone, "have you anything to say
against the coffee2'' mot word"
calmly answered the n. b. Il never
sneak IN of the absent. Chicago
News.
Mrs. FineheaIth (at hotel entrancel
No. have no money to spare you.
| afI haAfad ffxG
you should go about begging. Lazy
Tramp spose, mum, It's fer about
the same reason that healthy woman
ike YOU boards at a hotel instead OF
keeping house. illustrated Bits.
Mother Elise, you mustn't make
such a noise on the stairs. Now, Just
go right up to the top and come down
quietly like a good girl. (After the
descent, You see? never even
heard you that time ElseAll right,
mother, / win always slide down the
banisters in future. -kieggendorfer
Baetter.
BEG pardon, sir" began the beggar,
stopping a suburbanite at the ferry.
.Can YOU spare a few cents to help me
across the river9' Haven't you any
money at ALP inquired the pedestrian.
mot cent" replied the beggar.
"Umph,' grunted the pedestrian.
What difference does II make which
side Of the river you're onT-Lippin-
colts Magazine.
"oh. Edgar! Did you see In the pa
per the description OF that new house
where everything goes by electricity
Wouldn't II be fine II we could live in
house like that? All you have TO do
to get anything you want is to touch a
button" ~T'hat wouldn't Interest you,
my dear; 1t would be no improvement.
Nothing could induce you to touch a
button. Just look at this coat of
mine l"-Rire-
A verdant- looking old fellow recently