davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Oxford eagle., 1907-07-18
scAlY ERUPTION ON BODY.
Doctors and Remedies FruisIess-suf.
fsred 10 Year, Completely
Cured BY Cutieura.

Small sores appeared on each of
my lower limbs and shortly afterwards
they became so sore that I could
scarcely walk The sores began to
heal. but small scaly eruptions ap-
peared- The itching was SO severe
that would scratch the sores until the
blood began to Cow. After I suffered
thus about ten years I made a renewed
e,ort TO effect 4 cure. The eruptions
By this time had appeared on every
part Of my body except my face and
hands. The best doctor In my native
county and many remedies gave no
relief All this was frui,less. Finally
ny hair began to fall out and / was
rapidly becoming bald. A few months
after. having used almost everything
else. / thought I would try Cuticura
Ointment and Cuticura Soap. After
using three boxes / was completely
cured. and my hair was restored. after
fourteen years Of suffering and an ex-
pendi,ure Of at least $50 or $50 in vain
iy endeayoring to find a cure. b.
Hiram Mattingiy. vermillion. S. Oak.
Aug. IS. 1906"
Oxford eagle., 1907-07-18
NO CHARGE FOR IT.
The Laundry Man Gives the Bachelor
Man q Little Lesson In Nerve.

when came TO o3cn my bundle
of stun sent home from tho laundry
this morning" said the bachelor
man. = found in II. sent back washed
but not lroned. one shirt that had
pinned to 1t a ticket reading like
his:
We ore returning his shirt on &C
count of II not being in a condition
TO Withstand ironing
This was n new one to me. but
when came to open up the shirt and
looked It over didn't wonder that
they hadn't tried 10 iron II: one arm
was all but torn from It's socket and
there was a hole punched through one
Gun. with tear extending from this
hole for an inch or two up the sleeve
The shirt was sure not IN condition
for ironing. but how did It get SO?
Il certainly never sen, II 10 the
laundry In that shape Id have had
hard work tearing the sleeve out Of
the shoulder the way this one was
torn. and ! couldn't have made ;ha.
hole In the cuff without some sort Of
ahh hA. HAh'hs Naf''AtF hAtf
shirt had been torn and mangled in
that manner by being ca1ght in tho
laundry machinery. and SO | wrapped
II up In n neat little bundle and took
II over to the laundry Office. intending
To make claim for the value Of H. |
spread the shirt out on the counter
and called the clerks attention to II
and told him that couldn't have torn
the shirt in that manner 1t must have
been done In the laundry. and how
about it,
Well says the clerk. we made no
charge for IT,
AS the full Significance OF this
came upon mc-tbey had torn my
shirt all TO pieces. but they didn't
make any charge for III staggered
back. and kept on staggering that
way until had got out of the door
Il shall never maze any further
claim for the shirt got back far
more than It's value in that lesson in
clear. cold nerve"
Oxford eagle., 1907-07-18

In the Manila Times appears this
extract from letter written BY Lieut..
j. NJ. Merrill. telling OF engagements
between Moros and native eonsiabu.
Larry: We had an hours fxht. from
one a m. To two a. m. March /. and
a running fight from ave a m. 10 nine
a m. March :. burned 81 houses.
killed 10 Moros and wounded two 9th
ers who managed To escape eas-
not say too much about the stead.
ness Of the constabulary soldiers IN
der very trying conditions. fighting
in the dark. and. worse yet. blinded
BY the smoke os their old Sprinxnelds
against an enemy using the sFnokeieSS
Mausers and krags. Il vas simply
grand the way the little nien behaved:
they went along as skirmishers With
as correct a distance between men
As n they we're a. driii on their home
parade ground ! have heard yarns
about their aightinesz under ere. bat
! will never believe IL any more. In
the morning they we're 20 anxious
10 go ahead that ne wen, On With the
scrap until eight O'Clock before ue
stopped for breakfast
Oxford eagle., 1907-07-18
MAN AND HIS wAvA
Fertile Brain Has Evolved Q New
Style Of Cradle.

A new cradle has been Invented
and by . man. Which latter state
mcnt is q dedundsncy-for no up-to-
date woman would really ever think
OF inventing anything SO pernicious TO
her infants welfare. Has she not be
come enlightened TO the dreadful Ills
of that time-honored institution OF
our ancestors7 Dare she imperil the
Intellect that is to sway the twen-
tieth century by untimely Juggling"
In its embryo stage! Poor modern
babe. When COLES gripes assail. 1t
may not know the luxury OF a steady
tramp swung across fathers shoul-
der-strange to say, men do not jeer
at this dictum OF the new mother
hood-much less will II experience the
bliss OF being lulled to rest in .
wooden-slatted cradle or fluffy bassi-
net. swayed by the foot OF a won
drous being who swings and croons.
swings and croons. till baby woes are
merged in blessed sleep. Its maker
claims that sideways rocking is, in
deed. injurious to babykins. but to his
eyes. not his brain. Therefore has he
constructed . cradle that swings
lengthwise. and IL shaped like . boatI
Oxford eagle., 1907-07-18

No people on earth observe family
ties 50 closely and hold so many
family reunions as the Chinese. The
Scottish clans have no closer bond.
OF union than the families in China.
In America II Is the individual, but
In China IL is the family. No i'm
portant step Is taken without a fam
y caucus. II one member goes
wrong. the disgrace rests upon the
whole family to the remotest degree
Of relationship. The disgrace often Is
felt so keenly in case of a heInous
crime that the offender is taken away
by permission of the courts and the
death penalty inflicted by members
of the family. That's the way the
family purges itself.
The feature In the family life In
China is the big reunion once every
two years. One member of the fam
lily acts as secretary and enters In
a big book the new additions to the
family. In this way is kept a COM
plete biography of every person in
China.-Kansas City Star.
Oxford eagle., 1907-07-18
WESTERN MEN IN NEW YORK.
Brains OF mountsin and Prairie In %.
msnd In the Financial Center.

Ever since the early days. when d.
o. Mills. J. u. liaggin and James X.
keene "emigrated" from California to
New York. the metropolis has been
drawing largely on the west and south
tor its supply of men who do things I"
theodore +. Shonts. both southerner
and westerner. who has undertaken to
solve New Yorks great transit prob
lem. is the latest importation In re-
sponse TO the call OF the east.
The promptness with which Thos. +.
Ryan. OF Virginia, turned the Equit-
able Life Assurance Society over to
Its policyholders. who now elect a ma
iority of its Board Of Directors. and
divested himself OF the control OF the
stock which he bought from Jas II.
Hyde. and the success OF the new
direction Of President Paul Morton.
have created a demand for the strong
men of the south and west that is
rrcatcr than ever before Under the
Morton management the Equitable has
made better showing than any other
insurance company In the way of i'm
proved methods. economies and In
creased returns To policyholders.
T.. II. Gary. head Of the greatest cor.
poration in the world-the U. s. Steel
Co.-John w Gates. Henry C. Frick.
Norman u. Ream. VIM. H. Moore and
Daniel G. Reid are other westerners
who are among the biggest men In
New York.
Oxford eagle., 1907-07-18
SOMEWHAT OF A REFLECTION.
Naive Comment OF pebutants That
Amused Hostess.

A charming hostess Of oae OF the
big houses. as they are called by
those who are welcomed into them.
has the added beauty OF premature
white hair. That which seems TO her
contemporaries an added charm may
appear to the crudely young a mark
OF decline. at least 50 Il appears In
one instance OF which the hostess her
self tell with enjoyment
The lady is . connolsSeur of an
toues- At one OF her teas a debutante
rich with the GLOW Of yo~h. but sadly
constrained with her sense Of novelty.
vas handed a cup OF tea: the cup
was beautifully blue and wonderfully
old. The hostess desiring TO light.
en- the strain on her youthful guest
by pleasant diverting remark. said:
That little cup is a hundred and nf.
~ years old
oh came the debutante's high
strained tones: How careful YOU
must be to have kept 1t so long,-
Oxford eagle., 1907-07-18
A SMALL SECRET.
Couldn't Understand the Taste OF
His Customers.

Two men were discussing the var
ious food products now being supplied
In such variety and abundance.
One. grocer. said. Il frequently try
4 package or SO OF any certain article
before offering IL to my trade. and In
that way sometimes form a different
Idea than my customers have.
For instance. thought l would try
some Postum Food Coffee, to see what
reason there was for such a call for II.
AT breakfast l didn't like II and supper
proved the same. SO | naturally con.
cluded that my taste was different
from that Of the customers who bought
it right along.
A day or two after, I waited on a
lady who was buying a 25c package
and told her | couldn't understand how
one could fancy the taste OF Postum.
know Just what is the natter
she said. you put the coffee boiler on
the stove for Just fifteen minutes. and
ten minutes of that time It simmered.
and perhaps FIVE minutes II boiled:
now II you will have it left to boil full
fifteen minutes after It commences to
boil. you will fini delicious Javs-like
beverage, rich in food value Of gluten
and phosphates, SO choice that you
will never abandon 1t, particularly
when you see the great gain in health
Well. l sook another trial and sure
enough ] Joined the Postum army for
Oxford eagle., 1907-07-18
LINCERS In MEMORY
MARK TWAIN RECALLS STUNTS"
OF BICYCLE DAYS.
His Efforts 10 Tame the Wild and
unruiy "ordinsry"-Deserved
Compliment Paid Him by
His Teacher.

Susy's next date Is Nov. 30, 1855,
the eve OF my hftieth birthday. 1t
seems a good while ago. | must have
been rather young for my age then.
for ! was trying to tame an old-fash-
ioned bicycle nine feet high. II is TO
me almost unbelievable. at my pres
ent stage Of life. that there have real
ly been people willing TO trust them
selves upon a dizzy and unstable alti.
tude like that. and that ! was one OF
them. Twichell and took lessons
every day. He succeeded. and be-
came master Of the art OF riding that
wild vehicle, but | had no gift In that
direction and was never able to stay
on mine long enough to get any salts.
factory view Of the planet. Every
time tried to steal a look at a pretty
girl. or any other kind OF scenery. that
single moment of inattention gave the
bicycle the chance Il had been walt.
Ing for. and | went over the front OF
II and struck the ground on my head
ize that something was happening.
didn't always go over the front way:
| had other ways. and practiced them
all: but no matter which way was
chosen for me there was always
one monotonous result-th4 bicycle
skinned my leg and lcapcd up into
the air and came down on top OF me.
Sometimes Its wires were so sprung
by this violent performance that II
had the collapsed look OF an umbrella
that had had misunderstanding with
q cyclone. After each days practice
arrived home with my skin hanging
In ribbons. from my knees down. |
plastered the ribbons on where they
belonged. and bound them there with
handkerchiefs stepped In liniment and
was ready for mere adventures next
day. II was always a surprise to me
that had SO much skin. and that II
held out so well. There was always
plenty. and soon came to understand
that the supply was going to remain
sufficient for all my needs. II turned
out that had nine skins. In layers.
one on top OF the other. like the leaves
OF book. and some of the doctors
said II was quite remarkable.
was full OF enthusiasm over this
insane amusement. My teacher was
a young German from the bicycle fac
tory. gentle. kindly. patient crea-
ture. with a pathetically grave face
He never smiled: he never made a re-
mark; he always gathered me tender
ly up when | plunged on. and helped
me on again without a word. when
he had been teaching me twice a day
for three weeks I introduced 4 new
gymnastic-one that he had never
seen beforehand so at last a compll-
ment was wrung from him. a thing
which ! had been risking my life for
days 10 achieve. He gathered me up
and said mournfully: Mr.. Clemens.
you can fall on a bicycle In more diff
ferent ways than any person ever
saw before. Mark Twain. in North
American Review
Oxford eagle., 1907-07-18

In 1854. says Henry T. Warner I
met Mr.. Joseph Mulhatton. n journal
list Of wide repute. and went with him
TO South Africa. where We studied the
habits OF Beers and other wild ami.
mails for two years Among other
things. We took with MS a pocket
piano. on which Mr. Mulhatton used
to make beautiful music. TO the great
distress of our dog. which howled
solos at every performance We cap
tured monkey. an anthropoidean
quadrumanous mammal with prehis.
toric feet and n long tail, well known
to the natives. W. trained him to
wait on the table and perform other
domestic services. One day MIR. Mul-
hatton got ont his piano and was
about To play Give My Regards to
Broadway" which had not then been
written. when the monkey stepped up.
gravely pushed him aside. and picked
the tune out himself with both hands.
both feet. and his nose lie played
many times for us. hut always labored
under the disadvantages Of not being
able to stretch an octave.-N. Y. Sun.
Oxford eagle., 1907-07-18
Her Aim.

A man who runs a track farm IN
Virginia tells Of the sad predicament
in which a colorcd man named Sam
Moore. who Is In bis employ. recently
found himself Sam had had consid.
erable difficulty in evading the on
slaughts OF a dog from q ncishborlng
farm. Finally the dog got him, as
Sam kicked at him.
Sans wife. hearing q tremendous
yell. rushed TO the rescue OF her hus.
band When she came up the dog had
fastened his teeth In the calf OF Sans
leg and was holding on for dear life.
Selling a stone in the road. Sans
wife was about TO hurl II when Sam.
with wonderful presence Of mind,
shouted.
Mandy, Mandy! Don't frow dat
stone at dc dawgl Frow II at me.
Mandy!"-Youth's Companion.
Oxford eagle., 1907-07-18
Indian Princes Jewels.

When the steamship Arabia arrived
at Tilbury. England. recently, four
cases of undistinguished appearance
were handed over to four men en-
ployed by tourist agents. Each man
guarded his case witA particular care.
never releasing his hold upon 1t dur.
ing the train journey to town.
On arrival at Liverpool Street sta.
tion the four men. each hugging his
charge. entered a van, sat on their
cases. and were driven to Ludgato cir.
Gus. where the cases were immediate.
ly consigned TO the safes.
The mysterious boxes contained the
hereditary jewels of the Maharajah OF
Bikaneer. who arrived in London a
short time ago. The jewels. which
are valued at about G25,000. were
guarded in India by an armed escort.
Oxford eagle., 1907-07-18

We'll yawned the sage Of the park
bench, this business OF chasing dogs
around the town and taking them TO
the pound may be all right In some
ways. but II certainly Is wasting . lot
Of valuable power"
"Power?" calculated the park DO
liceman in surprise.
Yes. power. When q dog is in .
good humor he wags his tail. doesn't
he!"
believe he does"
We'll. now, II we could keep all the
stray dogs in a good humor and stand
them in a row and let them was their
tails from morn till night. why. man,
there would be enough power generat-
ed to run a trolley line. Niagara
wouldn't be in IT. Wonder to me
some genius don't try to harness
those wags."
Oxford eagle., 1907-07-18
Missouri Mystery Cleared up.

Thousands of hogs In southeast
Missouri are fattening on a crop that
was planted II years aso-a crop of
17-year locusts.
Since early spring the hogs Of the
farmers in this section have been get.
ting fat on something they found in
the woods. and each farmer secretly
wondered whose corn crib his pigs
had found. for they came home each
night not squealing for their food. but
only to sleep; and every day they
brought home a layer of bacon and
lard added to their once lean and
hungry bodies.
The rail splitters" of South Mis-
souri, and Arkansas were fast being
turned into prize Berkshires and
Polands by what or whom the farm.
er did not know until few days ago.
when the woods were filled with the
song of the i7-year locusts.-Kansas
City Journal.
Oxford eagle., 1907-07-18
His Name for II.

was once teaching a class OF smaIl
pupils In physiology in a rural school
and asked the class what name was
given TO the bones of the head as a
whole. little girl raised her hand
What is II. Lucy" | asked.
Skull" she answered.
Correct" said /. but what other
name has i.?" expecting some one to
answer Uranium" All were silent
for while. then . little fellow who
seemed TO be in a deep study quickly
raised his hand. his eyes sparkling
and confident smile spreading on
his face
What Is II. Henry" | asked.
Noggin," was his immediate reply.
Judges Library.
Oxford eagle., 1907-07-18

renewed a. auS @ trouble isr future outbreaks The Of
tonic made entirely Of roots herbs baks and is absolutely
drug stores Book on the blood medical advice h e
JzE SWIFT &eEcW1c ca. ArrAwzA "a.
Oxford eagle., 1907-07-18
Lord Psrtinqton."

The duke of Devonshire, now in
his seventy-hfth year. and very III.
is simply name in the dispatches
to the average American OF the day
To the Americans OF IS years ago.
when he was the marquis OF Harting.
ton. he was the most offensive travel
er in the United States. He made an
open display Of his secession sympa.
thIes in a particularly offensive man.
ner. He narrowly escaped assault on
one occasion, but when he visited the
White House President LincoIn's =
only rebuke was to address him as
Lord Partington.' - Boston Tran
scriyt
Oxford eagle., 1907-07-18
eNricEp BY THE BAR.
otrsnuevs Actions Mildly Explained
BY the Minister.

Many stories are told OF the &C.
centric doings and sayings OF an
old clergyman who lived In Maine
some years ago. At one time there
had been 4 fight among some men.
one OF whom was seriously hurt. A
trial took place. and the old minister
who had seen the ARRAY was sum
moned as n witness.
What was Salson doing- was
the FIRST question.
"Oh. he was slashing around"
We'll. sir. Just what do you mean
BY that7"
why. he vas knocking about him
here and there"
Now. sir. kindly tell US plain
iy what Salson did to this man
why. he-hs enticed him." said
the old minister slowly. He enticed
him with u orowbar. lie used the
crowbar to persuade the man-to en-
tice him. and by a series OF pokes
and blows he succeeded in doing it."
said the minister. mildly.
Oxford eagle., 1907-07-18
humminq Birds In Enuland.

Considerable interest is excited By
the humming birds now o1 view at
the geological garlens. Fyfty-three Of
these tiny. fragile birds were taken
on board from Venezuela: many died
on the voyage. but the fttest sur
vived. and 20 reached Regents park
alive. At the time of writing IL are
shown In two large glass cages fur.
nished with Towering plants. and
placed In the insect-house. which can
be kept at high temperature. Moths
In a cage near look bigger than these
small birds. 1t is to be hoped that
these dainty feathered gems may take
kindly to their new surroundings. and
live long TO delight the eyes OF many
dwellers In smoky London.-west.
minister Gazette.
Oxford eagle., 1907-07-18

Elmer Stricklett. the spit balr'
pitcher. had been listening . long
while In . New York club 20 the
boasting Of a rival.
Well. he said. exhausted at last,
you are pretty good. Nike: but out
In Mountain View there is q young
fellow who can beat you You'll hear
from him next season. His specially
is the SLOW ball This young fellow
has such slow ball that. when he
pitches It and sees that 1t is going to
be hit. he can run after 1t and fetch 1t
back again"
Oxford eagle., 1907-07-18

An Eng.ishman. an Irishman and a
Scotchman were one day arguing as
TO which of the three countries pos
sessed the fastest trains.
We'll" said the Englishman. 'Tve
been in one of our trains. and the
telegraph poles have been like a
hedge"
I've seen the milestoncs appear
like the tombstones." said the Scot.
BE jabbers." said Pat, Il was one
day in train In my country, and we
passed a field Of turnips and a field
of carrots. also field of cabbage and
parsley. then a pond of water. and we
were going that quick thought it
was BROTH"
Oxford eagle., 1907-07-18
SAVED FROM DREAD FATE.
Kind Woman's Assistance Meant
Much to This Tramp.

A certain lady. noted for her kind
heart and open hand. was approached
not long ago by . man who, with
tragic air. began:
"A man. madam. is often forced BY
the whip OF hunger to many things
from which his very soul shrinks-
and so 1t is With me at this time. Tn
less. madam. in the name Of pity, you
give me assistance. will be com.
PEELED to do something which never
before have done. which would
greatly dislike to do
Much impressed. the lady made
haste TO place in his hand a fve-dol
lar bill. As the man pocketed II
with profuse thanks. she inquired:
And what is the dreadful thing
have kept you from doing. my poor
mani"
Work. was the brief and mourn
full reply.-Iiarper's Weekly.
Oxford eagle., 1907-07-18
elll'a Reason.

Hugo osterhaus. the new captain of
the battleship Connecticut. praised at
q dinner in New York the old salt d
the past
He has disappeared" said Capt.
Osterhaus. sadly. We made fun Of
him. and before our ridicule he blush
ed and vanished.
Such stories as We used 10 tell
OF him,
One. for instance. dealt with an
old sheilback's beard.
Why is 1t. BILL a youth asked
the old fellow. that you never shave
your upper lip clean,'
Well. ye see. Bill answered, .
mans gotter have some place TO
strike his match on"
Oxford eagle., 1907-07-18
Judges ~ Their Best.

In tho course OF a recent case BE-
fore Mr.. Justice Darling the Judge de-
elined to make a requested ruling,
saying that IL he did so the court of
appeals would say he was wrong.
Counsel having expressed disagree
ment with this view. the Judge said:
Wei. you know the court Of appeals
a. well as ! do. perhaps better, for
you see them Al work. while only
meet them At luncheon To which
the oarrister dryly replied: Your
lordship sees them At their best
Law Notes.
Oxford eagle., 1907-07-18

Two fishermen named Smith. living
near each other. had met with misfor.
tune. the one having lost his wife and
the other his boat.
A lady visitor called on the one
who had lost his boat. thinking was
the one who had lost his wife. Good
morning, Mr.. Smith. ! am sorry TO
hear Of your sad loss"
'Oh. ii amt much matter, mum.
She warn't up to much"
Dear me, You don't say so"
Aye. she was n riokety old crock.
When | went out with her / was al
ways In danger OF my life. Indeed,
| offered her to my mate only last
week. but he wouldn't have her.
have had my eye ON another for some
time now"
But the old lady could stand no
more of the old mans denunciations
of the weaker sex. and hurriedly took
her departure. Tid-Bits.
Oxford eagle., 1907-07-18

tressed me. looked badly and the
kidneys were noticeably deranged.
sank lower and lower until given up
and at this critical time began with
Doan's Kidney Pills. Details are un-
necessary. Twelve boxes cured me
and weigh six pounds more than ever
before. They saved my life"
Sold by all dealers. so cents a boz.
Foster.Milburn Co. Buffalo. n. Y.
Oxford eagle., 1907-07-18

fastened itself upon
me two years ago
and brought awful
headaches and dizzy
spells. l was all un-
strung. weak and
nervous. could scarce
ly totter about. Pains
in the side and back
completely unnerved
me. NV food dis
Oxford eagle., 1907-07-18
Quite Desirable.

The hold-up Man tas he takes large
watch from victims pocket)]I sup
pose you're thinkin' I'm a real unde-
sirable citizen. Ell.
The victim-Nothing Of the sort.
Old man! That watch you've Just re-
lieved me Of was in my wife's family
for rs years and she forced me to lug
II around.-Puck.
Oxford eagle., 1907-07-18

DR.. Georgs A. Gordon. pastor os the
Old South church. Boston. tells how a
witty irishman stood before the gate
OF the other world. asking for adrais-
sion St Peter refused him. how.
ever. telling him he was too great a
sinner to enter there. and bade him
go away The man went a little dis
tahce from the gate and then erowed
three times like a rooster ST. Peter
at once threw open the gate and cried
out: Come in. Pat, Well let bygones
be bygones,