The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-07-21

SUCH as 1 thought they ought to have.
and I helped them furnish it, I got them
into tt and they were doing beautifully
till week ago Thursday. Then Julia
decided to take the DaTlor curtains down,
and fell or the step-ladder and broke her
arm They laid II all on nee. They said
il I had minded my own business they
wouldn't have been in a fiat and the
thing wouldn't have happened. They
acted exactly as If I'd gone over and
tipped Julia off Of that ladder. Just out OF
spite. Aunt said-well. aunt said lot OF
things. Everybody did Julia and Dick
have gone home to live and I've gone out
Of the advice-giving business. II Julia
had broken her neck, I reckon they'd have
had me hanged"
Gertrude. who is almost seven, is visit
ing Washington for the first time. and
some city ways don't impress her favor
ably. Out home. in Ohio. people keep
pets, but here in Washington, as Ger
trude says, hardly anybody keeps even
baby. She was taken to visit kins-
woman in the suburbs one day Of the
week, and the look Of the house sug-
gested to her the likelihood Of pets.
Where is your dog?7 she asked.
We haven't any" was the answer.
Gertrude looked perplexed-
We'll, who does your barking, then?"
she asked.
I'm going to the real country this year
10 stay on a real farm" saws the bust
ness woman I've been meaning TO do
it for the last ten years, but I've always
been switched of to the seashore or the
mountains I'm going to a farm where
they have lots Of COWS, because I want 10
see a COW asleep. I've never seen a COW.
sleeping, and I can't find anybody who
has. We've discussed it for months and
months at the place where I board. The
landlady thinks she remembers seeing
a COW asleep when she was a girl. Her
idea is that il had its head turned over
its shoulder.
II looked as If it had its head tucked
under its wing she says. and most OF
Us think she's got hens and COWS mixed.
The old gentleman who sits al the foot
Of the table is almost certain that a COW
sleeps with its head stretched out on
the ground in front OF il. but he won't
go so far as 70 say he ever saw one
doing It. The butler insists that a COW
holds its head up when il sleeps and goes
on chewing its cud all the time. but
that doesn't seem reasonable 10 me.
asked the milkman and he told me COWS
never sleep at all. I suppose there are
COW experts here in town that we could
ask, but I can't think of anybody who'd
be likely TO know except the Secretary
OF Agriculture, and I've never met him.
We al feel as il we couldn't live much
longer without knowing. I've got 50
can't think Of anything else, AID I'm
going TO the country % find out. I'm
going TO sit out in the barnyard every
night for a solid week. and the next
time you see me III be the one person
in Washington who knows how a COW
sleeps"
I'd Ike to contribute something 10 a
Ouida fund myself" says an elderly
friend OF mine" Ouida once did me 4
very good turn. Ny daughter-in-law calls
her books duh, old-fashioned things and
thinks it's funny they were ever popular.
She can't understand az ali why Ouida
was name OF such horror TO careful
mothers in my young days. Why. my
mother forbade one young man 10 enter
our house again. because he sent me a
copy OF Held in Bondage That was in
/ 1854. and I suppose mother thought the
book was or the Uncle Toms Cabin or
/ der when she first saw it. She didn't look
/ into 1t till Godey's Lady's Book published
1 a scathing criticism OF il Then mother
/ burned the book and broke on my ae-
( quaintance with the young man who sent
/ 1t. His name was Smith. and l was des-
! perately in love with him. He came 10 a
| quite disgraceful end not many years aft
eTward, just as mother said he would.
| I've always been grateful 70 Ouida. IL
she hadn't written Held in Bondage 7
/ might have married that dreadful young
man."
I am looking for a woman who was in
the real estate business here three years
ago. says a Chicago woman, who IS Wis
iting here. Il don't think she was a
member Of any firm and 1 can't recall her
name. but Il l find her I'm going 10 make
her present We were in Washington,
my husband and I. three years ago. and
we had to stay all summer. Ny husband
was in very poor health and We were
having lots Of trouble. We were des-
perately poor, IN fact. just then. and 7
simply couldn't afford 10 hire carriages TO
/ take my husband for the drives the doe
tor said he ought 20 have, so 1 did some
thing perfectly dreadful. I went around
10 all the real estate places in town. ana
said I wanted 70 invest In suburban prop
erty. 1 had some smart frocks left and I
looked the part. Almost every day for six
weeks some real estate man or other took
US out in his motor car 10 look az lots in
the country. We rode all owe. most OF
the State Of Maryland I didn't much
mind fooling the men. for my husband
had 10 have outings and I couldn't give
them to him in any other way, but nv
conscience did hurt me when a woman
real estater took us up. She was a lovely
woman, and 1 felt awfully mean 10 be
taking UP her time and her automobile
when 1 hadn't money enough to buy a
pinch Of dust. You wouldn't believe hov
easy it was to fool those dealers-the
men, ! mean. I think the woman rather
suspected me after a BIT Perhaps she IN
deTstoOd why 1 was doing IT, l think II
saved my husbands life. and I'd Ike to
find her and tell her so.
Missouri Editors Troubles.
From the St Louis Republic
Some people are under the impreszio,
that country newspaper office carries n
stock of every known article" said 7 p