The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1907-11-03
FEWER WEDDING PRESENTS.
a Reaction Here. as I'm London. Against
lndlerrnmnnnte Giving.

Eh WbWDhAsU AREphSNAO
a Reaction Here. as I'm London. Against
lndIscrimInate Giving.
The custom Of giving wedding presents
Is much less fashionable in smart circles
than il used to be. and London is largely
responsible for the change.
Not long ago an English bride to be, the
daughter Of a noble house. sent out with
the invitations to her wedding a request
that no wedding present should be given.
Previous to that several brides socially
high up had verbally expressed themselves
in the same way. but as It is not possible to
reach in this way the hundreds Of persons
asked to a big wedding, their sentiments
were not known except to the few inti-
mates from whom a gift wOuld probably
be received. no matter what the brides
feeling on the subject might be.
Like every other rule. Of course this rule
will nave exceptions. Just how many ex-
captions the bride who sent out the printed
requests has discovered is not known.
IL is known that from then on fashionable
English brides have set their faces against
receiving wedding presents from any but
relatives and that in LONDON the vogue
OF sending wedding presents indiscrimi-
nately In dying fast. Ask a New York
silversmith or a dealer in cut glass If he has
discovered any falling OF in the demand
for wedding presents and he will say mo-
at once. What is more. he will refuse TO
entertain so harrassing a thought.
But when mothers and daughters who are
identified with the very wealthy class are
approached on the same subject they tell
quite another story. The other day
a young and very charming widow identi-
fed with the Newport colony and the Long
Island hunting set announced her APP
preaching marriage she also announced
that she didn't wsnt any wedding presents.
That she will go so far as to have a notice
to that effect included in the wedding invi-
tations is not likely. A soCiaI. leader in the
same set says she thinks It quite unlikely
that Americans will go 40 far as that in
any case. In the days when numerically
New York society was below rather than
above the 900 mark the wedding present
problem was easy enough.
Weddings were comparatively small then
and the guests were for the mcst part we'll
acquainted with one another and with the
bride and bridegroom. There was con-
siderable sentiment attached to wedding
gifts. which we're not anything like 40 costly
as they afterward came to be. Handmade
gifts were then included in the array and
were valued quite as highly a are pearl
necklaces now. But society didn't stay at
the 400 mark or anywhere ~Oear il. New
sets and cliques were formed "a fortunes and
finer houses increased and general intimacy
was impossible. In it's private entertain
ments this and that clique kept TO itself
pretty much as they do now. but when
il came TO a wedding there were reasons
why il was just as well. why it was necessary
in fact. TO go outside of ones own particular
circle in sending out invitations. It was one
way OF extending a courtesy. Of showing an
attention 10 persons not exactly intimates.
And the bigger the wedding the larger the
number Of presents was sure TO be.
Il never knew a young girl yet but what
liked wedding presents a social cad
admitted. Not for their value. but for the
excitement Of getting them. the unexpected
ness Of the arrival of this and the other
thing. IL is the same idea exactly as play
ing for prizes or taking part in a lottery or
bargain sale or in doing anything else winch
promises to give something for nothing.
Americans are great gamblers. as everybody
who knows them knows.
Had not society grown so fast no cnanRe
probably would have taken place in the
etiquette Of bridal gifts. As il was the Gus
tom Of giving wedding presents reached
almost a frenzy. Persons known scarcely
more than by name to either family and
who were invited only to the church sen
valuable gifts. Friends invited TO the
house felt that unless they could give q
present they really ought TO stay away
II some social authorities are correct,
half a dozen years g the guest az a house
wedding who did not send a gift was deemed
very peculiar. to say the least. Az tina
time brides who would nave been quite
shocked IL accused Of bad taste exhibited
two or three hundred wedding gifts with
the cards Of the donors in plain view and
there was speculation among brides to be
as TO which would get the most numerous
and the most valuable presents.
It was just about then IL seems, that a
reaction began TO set in. Women OF good
taste were beginning to squirm-as one of
them expressed IL at being placed under
obligations TO perrons with whom they
were not intimate, Of having valued friends
feel at a disadvantage because not able
20 give the bride as much a. tina next one
gave, and OF having their daughter begin
married life mortgaged TO some extent 10
extend similar Courtesies TO several hum
dred persons whether she could afford il
or not. This change has become more
marked every yeRr since. IL was aoon the
4 exception for wedding presents TO be shown
TO any but a favored few. Next when lifts
were displayed TO the chosen ones cards
were removed beforehand. IL began to ne
known that one might accept an Invitation
TO a house ceremony or to the reception az
the house after a church ceremony and not
send n present 10 the bride without feeling
hOpeiessly disgraced. Those quick to dis
Germ the fashionable trend. the signs OF the
times, discovered that IL was considered
better form not To send a gift unless the
sender was counted among the close friends
OF the family. Needless to say these signs
nave been and probably will be disregarded.
That IL why, 10 quote the same authority
again, the wedding present habit is threat
ened with extinction 80 far as the dear 500
friends are concerned. !
Relatives may give as many and a.
costly presents as they please" she said,
-and close personal friends tina. the bride
or the bridegroom have grown up with
may send the bride a OXEN II they want 10
and that is all. Unless an invited guest 10
a very intimate friend OF the bride or the
bridegroom or Of the parents Of eitber,
he or shs will err on the side Of Rood tkAtp
BY not sending any gift at ALL. "