The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1907-11-08
4 GRAIN OF SENSE
by Robert Carlton Brown

years, out what good did that do
Bobbs. and what good did II do Mary?
Yes-Bobbs was bashful. In her
presence he acted like a first offender
before a judge.
He was not a pretty thing. neither
was he clever, but he was a man.
The neighbors said that Mary loved
him. Maybe Mary would have said SO,
too, but Bobbs never gave her the
chance.
Somebody quite unwittingly sent
Bobbs sample copy of Preside jour
nal. In scrutinizing the advertisements
he came suddenly upon a startling
one:
"HOW TO WIN HER LOVE"
Its new, boys. Hasn't even hit
Paris yet. The best thing In the world.
Teaches you how to overcome bashful-
ness, how TO act In the company OF
la lies, and how TO jolly the girls. 1t
costs 10 cents, and the first smile will
repay you. Send that dime to-day TO
the Bonanza Company"
There was something imperative
about Send that dime to-day" Bobbs
always had taken orders, and this one.
as the rest, he accepted meekly.
Time hung heavily on Bobbs' hands
until the book came. When 1t did, he
seized 1t greedily, rushed to his room.
locked the door. pulled down the blind
and read the whole six pages at one
sitting.
Having finished, he got weakly to his
feet. crossed TO the cracked mirror on
the opposite wall, and smiled into it
sickly.
ed. Then say, You're lookin' swell
tonight Flatter her, treat her like
you would the queen of England. Use
lots of soft soap they like the lather
Be agreeable. Humor her. jolly her;
never be obstinate; give in to her
every within. Gee-but that's some job
they set before a Teller, but | guess
can do it all right"
He put the book in his pocket and
went that night TO call upon Mary,
after an hours rigid rehearsing.
She looked blankly az him as he en-
tered the house with a wax figure grin,
and remarked "Gee-youre lookin'
swell tonight, Mary. That gingham's
beaut."
He didn't once mention the weather
in the course of half an hours CONVEX
sation, and Mary began to look wor-
ried
Has he been drinking?" her mind
suddenly suggested
Continually she puzzled, while he
made frantic attempts 10 entertain her
with a few jokes selected from the
book
What on earth is the matter with
him." she gasped to herself.
At last she decided that he must be
sick and it had affected his head. Care
fully she preached the subject. She
said he was sick, he admitted it, for
the book had instructed, Agree to
everything she says"
Finally, after more absurdities and
foolish grinnings, Mary jumped up
with a frightened look, grasped him
by the hand and cried, Come, John,
III take you to the doctors, you must
come, there is something dreadful the
matter with you"
For a moment he hesitated he was
just on the point of going-then-sud-
denly--he scowled and Immediately
became quite natural.
There's nothing the matter with
me" he growled.
Her lower lip quivered, he certainly
was strange tonight; she could not
understand it; she must get him to
the doctor.
"Well-well, II you're all right, what
what on earth are you acting so
foolish for tonight" she pleaded.
He hung his head shamefacedly and
thought. Things were not going just
as the book had planned; he was los
ing ground
Suddenly he jumped up, seized her
by the hands, and shouted There's
nothing the matter with me, only
only love you, Mary"
"Oh, John, has it gone to your head
like that?" she cried, permitting her
self to be Rugged.
NO" he answered, as soon as he
felt like using his lips in purely prac-
teal way. "No-its this COMPOUNDED
book"
He pulled the pamphlet from his
pocket and threw il savagely into the
waste basket.
THE book said | was to act that
way TO win you" he continued, holding
her TO him so that she could not see
him blush, but the book wasn't right.
I've won you another way, and | tell
you it just all goes TO prove what I've
always said
What's that, John?" Mary cooed,
now that she was relieved OF her anx-
icy.
1T just goes to prove" emphasized
Bobbs, that a grain of common sense
is worth a pound of book learnin'."