Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1907-09-06

Truly life is full of peril. Not merely
the peril that comes with steam and
electricity, and gasoline motors, perils
by land and perils of water, but the
dangers that confront us even when
we think we are following the most
hygIenlc laws of nature Exactly
where we stand we know not, for just
as we have learned from Mr. Gladstone
and DR.. Fletcher that each mouthful
OF food should be chewed patiently
from 20 to 100 times, according to the
substance thereof, along comes DR..
Wiley and warns us against the dan
ger of too much chewing. Rather should
we bolt our food, after the manner Of
the Intelligent dog, for notably in the
case of meat much chewing is the fore
runner of serious Indigestion. And
when we have meekly accepted this
doctrine up rises physician, fresh and
ruddy from his sixteen days fast, and
tells us not to eat at all, but drink
copiously of sparkling water, for eat
ing is a vile habit, productive Of many
diseases Of the digestive organs Still
bewildered, we are constrained to re-
sort to a cold bath, which Is much ad-
mired of certain medical gentlemen.
On the brink of the tub Los Angeles
expert halts us and assurs us that no
body ever did enjoy cold bath, and
that moreover II Is as dangerous as 1t
is unpleasant. We heat the water,
and again we are checked by an Eng
lish scientist, who warns us to forbear
from soap If we must bathe, because,
as the Lancet admits, soap Is the cause
of "the frequent inability Of the Anglo
Saxon to resist disease" Even the
fact that IL we die we die clean cannot
entirely reconcile us to the thought Of
a premature demise. And 30, unfed,
unwashed, we go about our daily busi-
ness or seek In germ-infested sheets the
sweet oblivion of all that makes life
one perpetual menace. Assuming that
we have slept three hours and half,
Mr.. Edison wakes us up and assures
us that In excess of slumber we are
despoillng our natural resources and
swiftly inviting general debility. We
arise, possibly reluctantly, and await
the next expert opinion as to the de-
velopment Of long and merry life.
Now, In the absence Of testimony from
Methuselah and old Parr, we must ac-
cept every suggestion that Is offered or
reject them all with "a plague O. both
your houses" or try to live up to the
teachings of the grandmothers. These
were not numerous, but they were ex-
planatory and mandatory. They in
volved the general principle, Eat
slowly; chew your food" without any
special enumeration Of jaw movements.
They maintained the doctrine. EARLY
to bed and early to RISE" without de-
finlng the exact hours. They insisted
upon the old-fashioned Saturday night
soak, with soap and plenty of 1t. And
the subjects of this treatment lived to
fine old age or died young, according
as Providence decreed, and with no
haunting fear that sleep, or meat, or
soap was shortening their days. Arte-
mus Ward said, 1--WE air governed
mutch," and Artemus passed away be.
fore the medical experts and the scien-
tific gentry assumed entire charge of
our living and dying, even when quar-
rellng one with the other. What he
would say In the present emergency
would require probably all the ingenu.
ity of his exuberant spelling.