davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1907-11-21

Ask truthful man for his opinion
and the chances are that he will hand
you something you don't want.
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1907-11-21

Fair Dorothea. goodly maybe,
From Puritans descended,
IN kirtle, cap and kerchief prayed
That famine sore be ended.
Thougl: plump and fair albeit she kept
she tired CT frugal living.
80 prayed she while the Elders slept
Lord, send a true THANKSGIVING
Ihc cunning lass. She had no lack
OF gown or ermine tippet,
vi melted palfrey's pil.icned back,
Or pretty fawning whippet.
The RISES in her saucy cheeks
Arc not by famine si:runken,
Her wholesome appetite bespeaks
The pies of ounce or pumpkin.
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1907-11-21
Compelled to 90 Horne.

The saloons that were in the habit
OF remaining open all night will now
close at midnight"
Guess I'll have to get a latchkey
then.'
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1907-11-21

Warning in the canebrake.
Be good and still you little bears,
Don't play too far about.
Or the Teddy Man will get you,
If you don't watch out!
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1907-11-21

SHIP YOUR CREAM
to Crescent Creamery Co.. st. Paul. Minn
Write to-day for tags and prices.
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1907-11-21

MILTON DAIRY CO.. st. Paul. MINI.
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1907-11-21

"GOLD SEAL" OIL CLOTHING.
Best made. II your dealer does not have
the "Gold Seal" apply to Goodyear Rub.
Der Co.. st. Paul. MINI.
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1907-11-21

WE PAY tor PRICES FOR CREAM.
Cash every day. Write for prices and taRa
MILLER & HOLMES. st. Paul. MINI
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1907-11-21

The salt Of tie earth is not looking
for chance to droa into the open
wounds Of neighbor.
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1907-11-21
Friends No LONGER.

Biloxi hear you have been visit
ing friends in the country"
Knox" You have-.got 1t wrong. I
was visiting relatives
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1907-11-21

Folks who SOW radislies in religion
always expect to pick watermelons.
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1907-11-21

GOLD COUNTRY" CEYLoN TEA
worth a dollar H. sold for &c. Write VIM.
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1907-11-21

No heart is emptied of its venom by
pouring it out at the lips.
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1907-11-21

No man ever lost any time by put.
ting curb on his temper.
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1907-11-21
Neither Sort Of q Bird,

I'm very thankful I'm not a tur.
key" simpered Miss Elder, as Mrs.
Small's boarders gathered around the
table.
"And no one ever takes you for .
spring chicken" replied Miss Flypp.
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1907-11-21

she s!ppn' arm
thankful ur? :" ~ >' 49, "
ss e he g S,d kss
80 o~> ~ 81"
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1907-11-21
Clever Scheme.

Clever Scheme.
MY new play is sure to make a
hit" said the popular actress. ut
gives me an opportunity to DISPLAY
twenty new gowns"
"My!" exclaimed her friend. GLOW
many acts?"
"Only four, but in one Of them the
scene is at the dressmaker's."
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1907-11-21

1t takes life's hard grinding to cut
anything like an edge on our lives.
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1907-11-21
VETERAN OF THREE WARS.
A Pioneer Of Colorado and Nebraska.

Matthias Campbell, veteran Of the
civil war and two Indian wars, and
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1907-11-21
Inhuman Fellow.
SOLD mHAplNc oRvce r~sgmt

lnhuman Fellow.
upon what grounds do you seek q
divorce?" asked the lawyer whom she
had just retained. "Nonsupport, cru.
city, Or
Both" she cried, tearfully; che
would not support my passionate long
ing for diamond necklace, and If that
isn't cruelty, I'd like to know"
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1907-11-21

But ah, her secret you have guessed,
Sharp eyes her tricks discover;
For Mistress Dorothea is vexed
To miss her soldier lover.
Who, with his bullets, powder, match,
In forests dense is living.
That he the bounding roe may snatch
To make their first Thanksgiving.
All. Mistress Dorothea, your face
In smiling beauty painted.
Looks on me from panels space
Long, long. have you been sainted.
Nay we, through centuries apart.
In peace and plenty living.
Voice your petition of the heart,
Lord. send true THANKSGIVING"
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1907-11-21
Appreciated kindnes,

VPPsSo N""o"esss
"Cunnel Blossom am puftec' gen.
imam. sah," said Uncle SNOWFALL.
"Ah."
Eyes. sab. He nevah locks up his
turkey house de night befoh Thanks.
sibin', sah."
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1907-11-21
An Execution.

An Exception.
She (gratefully)-Well. everybody
has something to be thankful for.
He (casually)-Except the turkev.
Psalm !. IA.
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1907-11-21
Lost,

Speedily he fastened bird on each
side of his saddle, and mounted to go
home. But that was easier said than
done. His father had been right when
he had warned him how easy it is to
get lost on the plain. After half an
hours riding, and recognizing none Of
the ground he had galloped over in
the morning. and after doubtfully
studying where his shadow had been,
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1907-11-21
How. coud He Be,

"Was Gormandize resigned "a
death?"
mo. indeed. He went OF the dav
before Thanksgiving.'
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1907-11-21

The Cat Out Of the Ban.
Little Harold-Mamma!
Mamma-Yes, child.
L. H.-Do yeu still think that If I
ate some of that pie in the closet r.
would make me sick?
Mamma certainly do, dear.
L. H.-But 1t didn't.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-03-30
Somewhat Mixed.

Some very funny things happen in
making up applications for enlistment
in the army" remarked an army man
to the Washington Star rounder the
other day AT recruiting stations it
is always necessary for the applicant
to state in his application the ma.
tionality of his father, his residence
and his occupation, besides writing
answers to a score of other questions.
A young fellow bearing the Teutonic
name Of Schmidt and showing plain
ly that he had not been in this coun-
try very many years, filled out one
of these blanks. Quite naturally he
was not very well acquainted with the
custom and meaning of our English
words. He disposed of the three lead
ing questions concerning his father
as follows: Nationality, German; res.
idence, deceased; occupation, fire.
man."
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-03-30
MAD DOG EASY TO AVOID.
Lose Control Of Body and Never AZ
tack People, Says Doctor.

Mad dogs do not attack people. This
is the statement made by DR.. p. M.
Hall, city health commissioner of Min
neapolls.
when a dog has the rabies" said
DR.. Hall, "he has lost control of his
body, and what he does is mechanical.
His jaws snap Involuntary and If he
encounters any object, whether ami
mate or inanimate, he is likely to bite
It. But mad dog does not attack as
does an angry dog. He does not pick
out victim nor use any strategy.
For this reason dogs suffering from
rabies are less dangerous than is sup
posed. No grown person need fear
them, for all he has to do is to get
out of the way. The dog will not
chase him. OF course, young children
are in danger, as they do not know
how to dodge the brute. A well direct
ed kick in the jaw delivered by man
of ordinary strength will put a mad
dog out of business for time at
least and is much easier to land than
1t would be If the dog were merely
angry and had control of himself"
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-03-30
Crocodile Captured Slave Trader.

rhe trade in slaves has entirely
ceased In Sokoto, but in Banchi there
was a recrudescence of II, due to ia.
mine, the people preferring to sell
themselves as slaves rather than
starye as freemen.
Ten years ago, 1t is recalled, the en-.
tire Angass tribe sold themselves into
slavery, but when the famine is over
they take the first opportunity to
desert. In the province of Murl famine
gave a great impetus to the trade in
children, who were sold for food.
One grim incident is recorded;
"The canoes" says the report, travel
by night and are concealed by day.
One, which was discovered in a back
water. with 20 children on board, was
pushed out into mldstream by the
traders and apparently purposely cap
sized. The slave traders swan for
the bank, but one was held by the
leg by a crocodile and captured; ~
children were drowned"
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-03-30
Child Missed Pleasure.

% 1t is far cry from guerillas to "Lit.
tie Lord Fauntleroy," but the story
reminded a man who heard of 1t of an
experience which befell Mrs. Frances
Hodgson Burnett. When her now ia.
nous story Little Lord Fauntleroy"
was running as a serial she happened
to be on a train bound for New Jer-
sey suburb. In the seat across the
aisle sat a small girl and her mother.
The child asked the mother to buy the
last number of a magazine so that she
might read the new chapters of Faunt-
leroy. The leaves were uncut and
after trying In vain to get her mother
to lend her hairpin to use as paper
knife the child began hacking out the
uncut pages with her hands. Mrs.
Burnett took one of her own visiting
cards and handed it to the youngster.
The child cut the leaves with it with
out even turning 1t over to see whose
name It bore, and then returned 1t.
She never knew that she was within
two feet of the author of the story
which abe was reading with such eager
interest.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-03-30
WAS ioT NEW TO HIM.
Had Long Been Eating Chop suey
Under Another Name.

An amusing story is told of Senator
Joseph Ross of Oakdale, Mass. The
senator had sent his w'se and entire
family away to the mountains and was
to Join them in week or two. In
the meantime he was to get his own
breakfasts and to take his other meals
at a nearby restaurant.
An old friend Of the senator had for
a long time urged him to try the popu-
lar Chinese dish chop suey," but the
senator had always refused.
Just before he went to join his fam.
lily he met his friend and the subject
was again brought up, and this time
the senator agreed to try the celebrat-
ed dish, and together they went to
Chinatown.
The food was set before them and
the senator's friend eagerly watched
him to see how he would like the new
preparation, and was surprised when
the senator on tasting the chop
suey" expre"72d great disappointment.
Don't you like it," said his friend.
you must admit It is something very
flne-something very rich and rare"
1T may be to you" said the sena'
tor, but II is neither rich nor rare to
me. Why, do you know" he went on,
this is the same thing / have been
having for breakfast for the past two
weeks, only / didn't know It,"
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-03-30
Saved Her Son's.Life.

The happiest mother in the little
own OF Ava, Mo-, is Mrs. S. Rupee
She writes: zone year ago lmy son
,as down with such serious lung
trouble that our physician was. unable
to help him; when, by our druggists
advice / began giving him DR.. Kings
New Discovery, and l soon noticed
Improvement. kept this treatment
I'D for few weeks when he was per.
fectly well. He has worked steadily
since at carpenter work. DR.. Kings
New Discovery saved his life" Guar
anteed best cough and cold cure by
Ritter Bros. Drug Co. SOC and sl.OO.
Trial bottle free.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-03-30
CALLED FOR A "sANWEEsH."
Being What Puzzled an American In
Railway Restaurant In Spain.

The American went into the railway
fonda at Valencia de Alcantara when
the midnight train stopped there for
refreshments on the way from Lisbon
to Madrid. He was hungry, and most
of all he wanted sandwich
The thing that tormented him was
that he did not know the Spanish
word for sandwich and he was afraid
that If he did not see one in the res.
taurant In the border town he would
have to go without.
Sure enough, there were no sand.
witches on the counter, But the Amer.
lean was game. Summoning his lin.
tied Spanish he tackled the waiter.
With wealth Of gesture, he asked
haltingly, what do you call what you
make when you cut a roll In two Gndi-
eating sliclng notion and you put
inside slices of meat (showlng how
the meat should be put i'm, walter?"
The waiter let It soak In and then,
with n CLEAN of Intelligence In his
eyes, said, "Oh, sanweesh"
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-03-30
Her First Stationary Tub.

At the Corners" Mrs. White built
new house which was equipped with
the first bathroom in that section OF
the state. and naturally it was the
common subject of discussion, and
many were the callers to inspect it.
One old lady expressed Il wish that
some time she might take a bath in
such place, so Mrs. White indulgent'
ly offered her the privilege and left
her to enjoy the novelty. Shortly,
however, Mrs. White was summoned
by screams of terror from the bath
room, and on running to the callers
assistance was met with the wall %
am dying, | am dying! I've soaked uT
all the water!" She had inadvertently
pulled the drain plug.-Harper's Mag
aZine.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-03-30
An Urban Cinderella.

The teacher had been reading a
story of Cinderella to her class of
youngsters and was now going over
the story again with them to fix 1t in
their minds. Among other questions
which she asked them was why 1t was
necessary for Cinderella to leave every
night early enough to be home by IL
O'Clock.
From various members of the class
she elected most of the reasons which
are implied in the story until finally
all remained silent.
Isn't there any other reason?" she
asked. Cant any of you think of an.
other?"
Up shot Larry's soiled chubby paw
in frantic eagerness to indicate his
knowledge.
That's good, Larry. What is the
reason?"
she had to ketch the last car
piped Larry-Montreal Herald.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-03-30
THINGS BETTER LEFT uNsAlp.
shining Examples Of the Art OF Talk
Ina Without Thinking.

Some people are perpetually giving
offcnse In the most unconscious way,
says an exchange.
Now, do let me propose you as
member OF the club" says Smith.
but suppose they blackball me?"
replies Brown
Pooh! Absurd Why, my dear fe'.
low. there's not man In The club who
knows you, event"
A lady, very DESTROYS Of conceallng
the awful fact that she is the same
age as her husband, observed to Wis
itor:
my husband is 40; there are just
five years between us"
rs Il possible?" was the unguarded
rely of her friend. II give you my
word you look as young as he does"
As unexpected must have been the
reply Of the husband whose wife said:
You have never taken me to the
cemetery"
mo, dear" he answered; that is a
pleasure I have yet in anticipation"
II is related of portrait painter
that, having Gently painted the por.
trait of Ia . :, critic who had just
dropped in to see what was going on
In the studio exclaimed:
ut is very nicely painted; but why
do you take such an ugly model?'
ut is my mother!" calmly replied
the artist.
"Oh, pardon, thousand times!"
from the critic, in great confusion. 81
ought to have perceived 1t. She re.
semb!es you completely"
On similar occasion a facetlous
friend, inspecting portrait, said to
the artist:
And this is Tom Evans, is 1t? Dear
dear! And | remember him, such q
handsome, jolly.looking chap month
ago. Dear, dear!"
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-03-30
Kite GAMBLING In India.

On what colossal scale gambling
is practiced in India and how extern
siyely the flying of kites is used as n
means of gambling may be inferred
from the fact that recently five Hindoo
merchants of Umrltsur, an important
city of the Punjab, committed suicide
in one week because of losses on kites.
Kites are flown that they may fight
and the fighting is done by cutting
each others strings. The string is
sewing thread, the finest and strong
est, smeared with ground glass mixed
with mucil"~e Pulled tight and drawn
against another thread also pulled
tight, It cuts like a knife. a good
string must be long enough to let the
kite ascend thousand yards, light
enough to let the kite bear II at that
height, and fine enough to cut another
string. Each flyer tries to cut the
string of his opponent by making his
kite pass under the other, so that the
strings cross, and then, by sudden
jerk, sending his kite up so that the
string will come into contact with the
other string and cut 1t.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-03-30
Go Slow Young Men.

Nicholas Murray Butler, president Of
Columbia, advises students against de-
gliding upon vocation too soon. Ac.
cording to DIR. Butler, a man should
not go to college with any settled
convictions as to what he is to do. DR..
Butler holds that college is the place
to make such decision. The oppor.
tunities there are so many and varied
that, according to the president, every
man ought to find something to suit
him He implies that by the end of
his senior year a man ought to have
acquired enough knowledge to enable
him to determine his right vocation.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-03-30
BURGLAR Artist.

Karoly Janos, once painter OF con-
siderable repute, but of late years
known as the associate of criminals,
has been arrested under remark
able circumstances,
He was ransacking a house when
he came across the portrait of a very
beautiful young woman which evil
IDENTIFY been left unfinished by the ar
list, the brushes and paint boxes be-
ing scattered about.
Forgetting his errand, he picked up
the brushes, and began to add the fin
ishing touches to the picture. He was
discovered hard at work by the aston
ished owner of the house, who prompt
" sent for the police and had him ar
rested.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-03-30
Souvenir Nutmeg Grsters.

A lady who sailed for her home in
Germany a few days ago took with her
q dozen nutmeg graters and some tea
strainers to be distributed as souvenirs
of her visit to this country. When |
was here IL years ago" she said. II
brought home a nutmeg crater and
gave It to an aunt and every housewife
who saw It envied her. When this aunt
died everything she owned was dis.
posed of in her will with the exception
of the nutmeg crater, and so many In
the family Nanted II that the simple
article threatened to cause fight
among the heirs. Now | will give each
of them one and tea strainer in add
ton. These are two household neces
stiles which are almost unknown in
the part of Germany that live in"
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-03-30
Considered Il Extremely Rude.

Delegate Flynn Of Oklahoma tells
with great glee OF a conversation that
took place between a Boston woman
and an Oklahoma man, with reference
to things western.
II take It, ma'am," said the Okla
homan, that you've travelled consider.
able in these parts"
Quite a good deal" answered the
Bostonian. "As far west as California
and Nevada, and I've spent some time
in Arizona"
Have you ever seen the Cherokee
Strip" suddenly asked the Oklahoma
person.
Thereupon ensued painful silence.
Il was plainly to be seen that the
Boston woman was much embarrass-
ed When she had in a manner re-
covered her composure she observed:
"In the first place. sir, | consider
your query extremely rude, and In
the second place, you might have
been more refined in your language
by asking me If / had seen the Chero.
kee disrobe. "-Lippincott's.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-03-30
"Tired o. JIM"

Occasionally something amusing
happens that hasn't the element of
pathos that marks the most of the
small incidents one runs across in this
world. AS for instance. when Mrs. Up.
town expostulated with Lucinda be-
cause she would get divorce from
her husband and whose convincing re.
tort was that she was lest natchelly
tired o jim"
There wasn't thing to say to such
an argument and Mrs, Uptown real
ICED that Lucinda was only taking a
leaf out of the matrimonial book of
half society. Lucinda had plainly
been sitting in the top gallery of the
New York Idea" and reading society
Journals.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-03-30
The Flying Fish.

The theory that the nying-fish glides
through the air like an aeroplane, pro-
PEELED by the tail and guided by the
pectoral fms, is disproved by Lieut..
Col. C. d. Durnford, an English nat
uralist He finds that an average
fight begins with jump into the air,
impelled by the tail and aided by the
VIII s.like fms; that It is continued by
a labored and exceedingly rapid move
ment of the seemingly motionless
wings, which at times slow down SO
that the vibration becomes visible;
and that 1t ceases either with a sud
den stoppage or gradual slowing down
of the wings before reaching the
water.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-03-30
The Whlstllna Rritish Boy.

The whistler oddly enough, is Eng.
lish, though the name has been made
famous by an American.
Among all the noises you hear in
Paris-surely the noisiest city in the
world-the whistle is not prominent
In New sufficiently noisy--you
will seldom hear whistle though 1t
sent us the first great sitiieuse. But
in London the whistle is insistent.
1t is not only the cab whistle, two
for hanson, one for growler, with
frequent "encores" 1t is the boy.
This is fairly quiet Nat in a fairly
quiet neighborhood But there is
scarcely a waking moment in which
you cannot detect the sound of the
boy and his whistle.-London Chron,
icle.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-03-30
Pillow That erubs Out Trees.

A large 900-pound plow for grubblng
purposes, attached to large 6O-horse-
power traction engine, cuts furrow
&c inches wide and ten inches deep
and is at present demonstrating its
value on the farm of o. l.. Rosensteel
near this city.
The pillow grubs out trees and clears
a strip seven feet wide as IT proceeds.
Last week an entire field OF stumps
was successfully cleared with this
outfit.-Corpus Christi correspondence
San Antonio Express.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-03-30
Truth About Lle.Tea.

Nothing of tea leaves is wasted by
the Chinese, the Scientific American
tells us. They may be dried and
pressed into bricks to be used as fuel
in curing pork. The ashes Of the fuel
are used as fertilizers. At other times
the spent leaves are stewed. or allow
ed to stand a long time in water to ex'
tract the tannin, which is used in
making leather and for dye. Some.
times the old leaves are used for fod
der, or they may be mixed with new
laaves 70 form what Is known as lie
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-03-30
This is an advertisement.
Given Up To Die.

b. spiegel, 1904 N. Virginia ST.
Evansville, Ind, writes; "For over
FIVE years l was troubled with kidney
and bladder affections which cause q
me much pain and worry. lost hesh
and was all run down, and a year ago
had TO abandon work entirely. l had
three OF the best physicians who did
me no good and was practically
given up to die. Foley's Kidney Cure
was recommended and the first bottle
gave me great relief, and after taxing
the second bottle | was entirely
cured" Why not let 1t helpyouY FOL
sale by all druggists