davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19
THE VANDERBILT CUP.

The public will shed no tears over
the announced abandonment of the
Vanderbilt cup race for automobiles
this year. 1t was the Shah of Persia.
we believe. who. in declining an invi-
tatlon to see some horse races. said:
1T is known to me that one horse can
run faster than another" II is also
true that one automobile can run fast
er than another. Given a machine ~
high power, one put together with all
the cunning Of a master mechanician.
and place in that machine a reckless
daredevil driver. The combination de-
YOURS distance at the rate of a mile in
thirty or forty seconds.
But what, after all, does it prova >
Merely that one automobile goes ia ster
than another automobile. It certainly
does not prove that the man who wants
a car in which he may take his family
and friends out for an afternoon of on
joyment should buy that particular
make of car. The man who rides for
pleasure does not want to go dasbine
through the country at the rate of a
mile a minute. There is no pleasure
IN that sort of riding, and it is un-
necessary to point out the fact that
such excessive speed is dangerous. not
only to the automobilist. but to the
public.
1t was intended to make the Wander
bilt cup race an annual feature. Now
it is to be abandoned because IL Is
too dangerous. In other words. the
meagre results attained do not Justify
the risk to the motorists and the peo-
pie along the road assembled to see
the race. Hereafter it is to be hoped
that the speed maniacs will eonfine
their efforts to specially built tracks.
Manufacturers of high speed automo-
biles can test out their cars on tracks
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19

of their own and then, when they are
sent out to purchasers. the speed regu-
latiOns may be depended upon to take
care of them.
There is a motor track in England
on which recently a man maintained
an average speed of something like
seventy miles an hour for twenty-four
hours. The track is so built and
banked as to make it absolutely safe.
as far as the spectators are concerned.
Let q track like that be built in this
country for the so-called speed mer-
chants" and let them race around on
it to their hearts content. But the
highways belong to the public and the
automobile scorchers must remember
the fact.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19
EXCUSE OF LIGHTNING ROD
AGENT.
buffalo Enquirer)

Attorney General jackson OF New YORK
was criticizing in Albany certain excuse
that had been offered him. 1t was slim
excuse" he said. 1T reminds me or the
excuse of the lightning rod agent.
In the days when all the world swore
by lightning rods, farmer had two cost
Nv ones put upon the new barn. But only
a week or two later there came a violent
thunderstorm. the barn was struck. and
in a few hours all that remained OF 1t
was a heap of charred black refuse.
Next day the farmer sought out the
lightning rod agent.
q Fine lightning rods you sold mel he
shouted Here's my new barn been
struck and burned to ashes"
eVhat?' said the agent Struck by
lightning
e yes sir; by lightning
In the daytimeg
No: at night Last night
'aThe agents puzzled frown relaxed
little
All he said Tt was a dark night.
wasn't it|
was pitch dark
Were the lanterns burning?'
What lanterns@
e why he said, you don't mean to
tell me you didn' run up lanterns on the
rods on dark nightsg
I never heard of such a thfngP
shouted the farmer. Run lanterns I'M
Why
+" We'll, said the agent. If you don't
know enough 10 keep your lightning rods
showing you can't blame me-
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19
TARIFF COSTS LIVES.

The Kansas City Star, discussing the
tariff makes this unusual but not IL
logical argument:
The protective tariff is responsible
for many railroad accidents. If the
manufacture of steel rails were sub
jected to competition, each manufac
tuner would strive to command trade
by the excellence of his products. But
the steel trust has eliminated domestic
competition and the tariff prevents
foreign competition. There is a tempta-
ton, therefore, to put on the market
inferior quality because, having the
field all to itself, the trust knows that
the railroads must take its rails, good
or bad. And bad rails have been the
cause of many railway accidents.
Not only that; the railroads of this
country are obliged to pay about
80 Is per cent more for the trusts
rails than Canadian roads pay for the
same products. This excess cost has a
direct bearing on constructive and
maintenance policies 1t offers an in
ducement to use lighter rails in new
construction and to use old rails long
er than it is safe to retain them"
The operations of the steel trust are
often held up as an example of tariff
injustice. 1t should not be possible for
American steel makers to sell their
products in foreign lands cheaper than
at home, and any law that makes il
possible is a bad law and should be
repealed. The enormous profits of the
steel trust are made at the expense of
the whole American people. They may
not pay with their lives. exactly. but
they do pay with their money, for the
railroads must base their freight and
passenger charges on the cost of rails
and equipment. But the steel tariff
is not the only one that should be.
modified or repealed altogether
There is the watch trust that sells
watches abroad thanks to the benefit
cent operations of the tariff. more
cheaply than at home. The sewing ma
chine trust does the same thing. And
even so gentle. kind and considerate
a corporation as the Standard Oil
monopoly sells certain grades of oil
abroad more cheaply than at home.
The strong and growing demand for
tariff revision, not only in the Demo-
cratic, but in the Republican party as
well. is one Of the hopeful signs of the
times. The paramount issue in the
next presidential campaign will almost
surely be the tariff issue, and our
Republican friends will be serely
pushed in defending it.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19
Y M. C. A. AND TOBACCO.

1t develops that the directors Of
the Philadelphia branch of the Young
Mems Christian association did not, as
has been published in several news
papers, The Herald among the number,
pass a resolution against the employ
ment in the construction of its new
building of workmen who are addicted
to the use Of tobacco. A New York
newspaper, one that is noted for its ae-
curacy, first printed the report, and
from it The Herald received it's first
information.
We are very glad indeed that the
directors did not take the action in
dicated in the first reports. In a let
ter to Oscar L. Cox, general secretary
Of the Salt Lake Y. M. c. A, Walter
c. Douglas, who is general secretary
OF the Philadelphia branch, says that
there is no such restriction in con-
nection with the erection of our new
central building, nor was such ever
suggested OF even thought off,
AS The Herald remarked some weeks
ago, it is proper enough for the Y. NJ.
c. A. TO discourage the use of tobacco
whenever and wherever it can, but
resolution of the type indicated would
have been going entirely too far.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19
TIE REFoRMER REFORMED.
(ChicaRn POStl


She married a man to reform him; she
felt that her white little hand
Could lead him away from his errors, and
deftly and surely she planned
She showed him the evils resulting from
drinking the stuff sold at bars,
She got him to shut eff his swearing, she
got him to cut out cigars,
She got him to stop poker playing, she
cured all the faults he possessed
Until of the worlds list of husbands, she
had the most perfect and best
He shuddered at ways that were sinful,
he wouldn't be caught using slang,
He Stunned all the rollicking measures
the coarse, unregenerate sang.
He dressed in a style very solemn and
rarely If ever he smiled,
And reading the news of the drama was
conduct he thought rather wild
So now that she had been successful, she
folded her fingers in pride
And said that he ought to be thankful
that he had won her as his bride.
Oh, Iisteni One day in a manner most SOL
EMMY sober and quaint
He turned to the wife who reformed him
and with all the grace of a saint
He told her 1t filled him with sorrow to
note her enslavement to dress,
That also her fondness for candy was ter
rible he must confess;
And, further, he mentioned each foible,
each fancy and each little fad,
And showed her Just where it was foolish,
though maybe not utterly bad.
She had to stop curling her ringlets, she
had to wear number five Shoes
All club ties she then had to sever be-
cause it was wrong to pay dues,
She had to leave off wearing ribbons and
fanciful buttons and lace,
She had to wear common-sense clothing
and never put stuff on her face
She had tO-but why go on telling the
things she must do or must not?
Reformers who meet with reforming are
much like a catcher that's caught
At last she was perfectly perfect, as per-
feet indeed as was he,
And both were as perfectly perfect as
perfectly perfect could be
But she grew mOrose and unhappy, and
he was quite grouchy and glum,
For neither could find in the other a fault
that might be overcome,
And then, with a SILVER of daring she
came to her good hubby's side
And said Now we've shown we are per-
feet. don't you think we would better
ba cksii1e?
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19
THE NATIONS DISSIPATION.

dispatches,
government statistics show that the
habits Of the people of the United
States are undergoing no marked
improvement. Not only did our
people drink more spirituous and
malt liquors last year than ever
before in our history and burn
and chew more tobacco, but the
amount was all out of proportion to
the increase in population.
At the internal revenue bureau the
receipts during the year which ended
June 90, 1907, were today made public
and show that of beer there was con-
sumed last year 5S,546,111 barrels of
thirty-one gallons each, an increase
over the previous year of 3,S94,474 bar
rels, or 1858, 220 gallons. OF corn,
rye and similar WHISTLES, 1S4,142. O74
gallons paid the government tax, an
increase for the year of IL, 409, 252 gal
Ions, and of spirits made from apples,
peaches, grapes and other fruit, the
consumption was 1,993,6SS gallons,
against 1,7s1, 64S the previous year
During the year 5,151, 1921 cigars
were made, an increase over last year
of Bliss, 266, 213.
Last year the people of this country
chewed and smoked 969. 1S6.3OS pounds
of tobacco, as against 354,915, 499 in the
previous year.
Cigarette smoking did not show
tendency to stop, as the increase for
the year in the number of cigarettes
used was 5.665,637. the total number
smoked being 15,159,227.
The total internal revenue receipts
from all sources last year were $780,
664,O22, as compared with spas, 102, 738
for the previous fiscal year
Taking these figures as a basis of
calculation. the people Of the country
have not only had more money to
spend for luxuries, but they have spent
a good deal more for dissipation than
at any previous tirue in their history
If one had to select the worst infer
ence to be drawn from the revenue
statistics the data as to cigarettes
would furnish the conclusion. In spite
of the inhibitOry laws passed by sew
eraI states the number of the noxious
things smoked increased about one
third over the previous year. If that
doesn't furnish 4 commentary on the
taste of the American spender entirely
to his discredit nothing else could.
What with an increase per capita Of
thirty-one gallons of beer consumed,
and a considerable addition 10 the
consumption of whisky, besides the
cigarettes, there seems to be a wide
field for the efforts of the reformers
who would stop vice by sumptuary
laws. One little CLEAN of cheer shines
from the revenue report, and that is
no searchlight in intensity: the use Of
beer as a beverage seems to be reduc-
ing the percentage of whisky con-
sumed, and as between the two the
crop of damage from beer is infinitely
smaller than the crop of ruin from rye
or bourbon.
AS It is one weeps to think of the
good that could be done If the money
expended for spirits, malt liquors and
tobacco were diverted to educational
or philanthropic uses. The revenue
tax On these articles alone for one year
amounted to nearly $3.50, 600, Co., This
is tax only, so the total value of the
products themselves represents some
where in the neighborhood of two or
three times that sum.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19

Hereafter women without escorts
cannot secure meals in New York
hotels after dark. The theory is that
the towns morals will be greatly i'm
proved. There certainly is some room
for improvement. New York is nearly
as bad as Pittsburg, but maybe that's
because so many Pittsburg people live
there
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19

The other day New Jersey legis-
lator who. after a hard fight, succeed
ed in passing drastic laws against au-
tomobile scorching. ran over a boy in
his automobile and killed him. Now
Wen see how amiably he will take his
own medicine.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19

The fact that Orchards testimony
was not regarded as sufficient to war
rant the conviction of Haywood does
not. as a contemporary seems to think,
warrant the belief that it will not be
sufficient to convict Orchard himself.
We really don't see how Idaho can
get out of hanging Orchard. unless he
repudiates his confession.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19
What's the Use of Heaven, Anyway

Little BERTHE had a dog, of which he
was fond. One day he said: Mother
do dogs go to heaven when they die?''
His mother said, mo"
With a detected air he looked appeal
ingly to his mother and said: What is
the use of fellow having a dog il ne
can't go to heaven with him?'
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19
Are Plenty More He Is Welcome To
ATLANTA Journal. J

Raisuli has stolen 300 of the sultan
wives. If the celebrated bandit is going
to pose as a wife-stealer Morocco may be-
come a popular resort for the husbands
of the unsuspicious
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19

We protest against the suggestion
that Judge Lands be named as a can
didate for the vice presidency. He is
too badly needed where he is.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19
a WAY QuT.
philadelphia Ledger

u HIIdUVIDfiidL ItuStF.1
The girl said. albeit regretfully. that she
could not marry him, that she was welded
TO her art.
mo other reason?' he asked.
None"
Well he responded, I've said I'd dare
anything for you, and I'm willing TO run
the risk of bigamy.'
After reflection, she was, too.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19

If you hear a rumbling. roaring, roll
ing noise today don't be alarmed. 1t
viii only be Secretary Taft getting that
long expected speech out of his system.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19
They Never Die in Office There.

(New Orleans Times-Democrat)
A Pennsylvania politician committed sui
eide at Pittsburg the other day. 1t goes
without saying that he was out of office
at the time.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19
Believes in Encouraging Them All.

AaOuSlOH rush.
It seems that Colonel Graves is a firm
supporter Of every man yet mentioned for
the presidency regardless of party and
he is ready to support others.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19
PERTINENT PARAGRAPHS.
He Has Found a Friend at Last.
New York Tribune.

Governor Vardaman's prompt accept
ance of defeat in Mississippi does him
credit as a man and a fighter We need,
among other things, in politics, g more
liberal percentage Of cheerful and open
minded losers and a less frequent insist
ence on presumptfve invalidities in the
count
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19
At Least, He Is Not All There.
(Chicago News.)

If Bill Quantrell is really alive on Van
couver island he must be somewhat in
convenienced by the fact that his shin
bones and a lock of his hair are in the
Kansas state historical museum.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19
Still Believes in the "16-To-1" Plank.
Pittsburg Gazette-Times)

Mr.. Bryan never ceases to work the
Democrats for SIC for every dollars worth
of services he does It. His book on tour
ing the world is now being advertised in
Democratic papers.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19
Puts Literal Meaning on MiIkman's
Ston

The nurse employed in the home Of lit
tie Elenor stopped in the hall moment
on the way to her patients room and,
patting the little girl on the head, said
'Elenor. do you know who sent you the
dear baby sister,"
The child thought a moment and then
gravely replied;
II supposed the milkman must have,
because it says in big letters on his wag-
or, Families Supplied E"
Little Louise asked her mamma how
old she was. and. upon being told she
would soon De 21z, she exclaimed:
Mamma, won't it be awful when they
cut me IN half 2"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19

There are those who are so short
sighted as TO say that the big fine inn
posed against the Standard Oil COM
pany is responsible for the partial
panic that seems to exist just now.
Why, think of the money that will be
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19

SUNDAY-One year. 500.
SEM1-WEEKLY-(En advanee). one
year. $50; six months. Is cents
Subscribers wishing address Of paper
changed must give former as well as
present address.
All papers are continued until explicit
order Is received to discontinue All ar
'earages must be paid In every case
~->-"-0>-->~0-~~-~-
The Herald can be obtained at these
ulaces:
New k-waldorf-Astoria: Imperial;
Aston House
Chicago = The Auditorium: Palmer
House: Great Northern Hotel.
Kansas City-Coates House.
Omaha-Unicn Depot: Mclaughlin q
Co; e. c. Gates; Bimbrose Book Elk
change: Megeath Stationery Co.
Denver-Brown Palace; Hamilton
Nendrick; Union Depot; S. Weinstein
Oakiand-N. Wheatiey News Co.
san Pharmaceutical St Francis.
5ncrs mento-5acrament0 News Co.
Goldfielo-Pa,ace News Stand, Cook ana
Main fLouie Polin, proprietary: MOHAWK
News Stand. Cook and Main; Del Monte
Jews Stand next 20 Dixon's bank; Hun
isr Advt & Pub. Co. 323 Main and 4oS
''0l1mbia streets
Los Anceles-B E Amos Wagons; Ho-
81 Lankershim
Minnea nDlis-West Hotel.
- i0uis-Coates House; G. l. Acker-
ia97: The Southern
Seai''a Hotel Seattle: International
NsWS - w Ellis
'N''-@9e-' " Graham & Co.
a~~--@r f~-~-us tfonsl News Co.
'-'-'' ~ paanr. Oregon News 20
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19
LIBELED.
philadelphia Ledger

philadelphia Ledger)
He heard that Philadelphia was slow,
So came to see if this was really So
And while he sought TO learn of city
tricks
They sold him divers sorts of giidei
bricks,
And stole his wad before they let him go.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19
Hears Gong in Church; Wants to
See the Car

The regular Sunday morning services
were proceeding in a Catholic church on
the south side few Sundays ago, and
that stage of the services wherein a gong
is softly sounded had just been reached.
Immediately after the first sound from
the bell a little boy in kits sitting be-
side his mother in the rear Of the church
called out in a shrill little voice:
Car coming, ma! Car comingr'
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19
Wouldn't Ii Be Awful.
Detroit Free Press.)

Now that Senator Beveridge is married,
it is to be hoped that his wife will not
collaborate with him in the production of
his speeches, for we should then never be
able to finish reading the Congressional
Record.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19
A eET:RlcH-oUIcK SCHEME.

CThe Cirele.)
Knicker-I save twenty cents every time
I shave myself.
Mrs. Knicker-Then why don't you
shave five times a day and save more?
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19

put in circulation when. about ninety
nine years hence, the Standard pays
that fine
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19
Wanted to Give Credit to All Con.
cerned

My mother had soup for dinner one
evening recently, and | took some of it
lives near by. AS he was enjoying it, he
said to his mother. "Um-m-m, grandma
makes fine soup, doesn't she. mammal"
Yes, she surely does" said mother
Then, glancing over at me, sitting by
he added, And Auntie Margaret brings
ii over lovely. doesn't she?'
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19
HAD A WAY OF HER OWN.

milwaukee Sentinel.)
rs your new stenographer good al
spelling?"
Yes. She's positively original"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19
Was Afraid She Would Be Rubbed
Out.

A little girl came home from school cry
ing piteousiy. 1t was some time before
she could tell the cause of the trouble, but
finally walled out:
Teacher says if 1 don't get my spelling
lesson she's going to make an example
of me and she will put me on the black
board, and if she puts me there I'm
afraid the scholars will rub me out"
One day a woman called at the home
of a friend. The youngest member of
the family. tot of some 2 years, hap
pened to be in the room, and the caller
thinking to amuse the child said:
20, see the choo-choo carr
WhereupOn the child answered. graveIy:
DO you mean the locomotive?'
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19
Saving Dolls 49, for Little Grand
children.

Little Eliza had passed the age when
dolls appealed to her particularly, and
was observed to her mamma to put them
carefully away. Being asked why she did
so, Eliza replied that she wanted to pre-
serve her dollies for her children.
But" suggested the mamma Suppose
you should have no children?'
This was evidently a poser. Eliza stud
led moment then replied, Frightening:
Then I'll save them for my grandchiI-
dren."
Harvey, aged years, had an apple
His sister, aged 6, wanted bite, and he
refused. She thought for q while, and
then said: 20, Harvey, let US play that
1 am a big pig and you are feeding me. /"
She got the apple.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19
And No One Else VIII Read 1t.

Baltimore SUM-
Andrew Carnegie is writing treatise on
the diplodocus. And Dippy is so dead that
he can't appreciate it.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19
WIT AND WISDOM
FROM CHILD LAND
Says Lion Used Wooden Legs as
Toothpicks.
Chicago Tribune.)

Chicago Tribune.)
Edwin, aged 3, Is fond of relating big
stories and frequently such tales relate
TO his little boys" Of whom he claims
to have a large number. Not long since
he evolved the following:
My little boys were walking in the
woods the other day and they both fell
down and broke their legs. They got
sticks and made wooden legs and then a
lion came along in the woods and got
after my little boys and caught them and
ate them up"
Did the lion eat the wooden legs. too?"
asked the listener.
We'll, there was two lions, and when
they were eating my little boys and came
to the wooden legs, one lion said to the
other lion. Pass me the tooth picks.
In Berlin Kon had been naughty, and
his mother suggested that he ask God to
forgive him and help him to be good
boy when he said his prayers His reply
was:
Il c-can't say 'em in German and God
can't understand 'em in English
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-19

Elizabeth had been told that one of her
playmates, who was ILL., had something
the matter with his liver, and she asked
rs there anything ailing his bacon?''