Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-04-06
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she could not speak" Jaw g'wan -
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Father-Why did you run away,
Franz? Franz Because mamma was
so unkind. Father-That is no reason.
DO / run away f-Weiner Caricaturen.
That hat is an example of my thrift.
Bought it three years ago. Had it
pressed twice and exchanged 1t once for
new one at cafe. Fllegende Blaet-
ter. -.~.
Miss Passy oh, It's very good OF
you, captain, to invite me for the first
waltz. The Captaln-Don't mention it,
maam. This is a charity ball.--Plck-
Me Up.
His Daughter Papa, did you know
mamma long before you married herr
Her Father-Just between you and me,
my dear, don't know her yet.-Chi-
! cago News.
Mrs. A.--Hhat woman next door
bought hat exactly like mine. Mr.. A.
Didn't It make you mad? Mrs. A.
Not bit; | gave mine to her cook
Illustrated Bits
Where shall we run in this item
about Senator GRATIS retlrement?" the
| reporter asked. Under Public I'm.
provements." said the news editor
Los Angeles Times.
Gladys am going to buy an auto
mobile and i want you TO 60 along and
help me select one, Cousin Jack Not
for me, little girl. Why, even wouldn't
| pick you out II husband.-Puck.
Nan-How attentive young Mr. ALI
GAVIN is to his pretty wife! FAM
/ don't wonder you notice 1t, but you
must have been mIslnformed. They are
not married yet.-~ChicagO Tribune.
Lecturer And what man is most apt
! TO reach that elevation whence the
earth may be viewed "as one vast
g plainf" Smart Student--Ihe one that
works In gunpOwder Chums.
Now that my wife is doing the cook
ing herself she can accomplish with $40
worth Of food twice MS much as our
late cook did You don't say:" Yes !;
at any rate | get twice as much dys-
pepsa. Philadelphia Press.
Il learned that the performance was
no good, 40 l did not get you the matt
nee tickets az you wished" "rhe fact
that the show IL no good doesn't alter
the fact that have new dress to
show off, does it2'-H Houston Post.
lis your family entertaining this sea.
SOM" inquired the society deyotee.
Well" answered Mr.. Cumrox, moth
er and the girls seem kind Of amusing
TO me, but Everybody else seems to take
EN- seriously. Washington Star.
There are times when machinery
seems almost human. Yes" answered
the man who smells OF gasoline. II am
frequently unable TO be sure whether
am foollng with my automobile or II Is
foOling with me, Washington Star.
You have He'd way out In the sub.
urbs ever since / have known you"
Yes Isn't 1t Inconvenience" quite
the opposite; you have no Idea how
many excuses n suburbanIte can find
/ for getting home late. Houston Post.
I'VE come near lynchn' the wrong
man yesterday" said Cactus Cal Just
ready to swing him Off, too" But Just
! then you discovered the mistake, eli? ?"
remarked the tourist What luck ="
"Wuzn't II thought The worst | ever
hear tell Of Philadelphia Press.
! Mrs. Bacon Pins are not used In
| China. Clothes are fastened with but
tons and buttonh0les, or with loops and
frogs and person Is considered un-
tidy who resorts TO such makeshlfts as
pins. MIR. That's good thing
10 know a man can hug q girl with lm-
punlty In China IOnkers Statesman.
First Dude How is IL that you get
invitations to balls, parties weddings
aud other festiyltIesl Second Dude
II IL the simplest thing In the world,
my dear fellow. When | suspect that
any OF my bigwig acquantances are
going 10 give one, tell them [ shall
be out OF town. They Imagine IL IS
safe 10 invite me They do so, ana, 10
and behold l bob up serenely. STRAIT
egy, my boy. strategy !~-Tid-Bits.