davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The state herald., 1907-09-20
Errors OF Lawmakers.

Some absurd clauses have found
hcir way into certain acts OF tho
British parliament One statute cn.
acted punishment OF II years trans.
portatlon for n certain ofIcnsc. and
upon conviction onohalf thereof
should 40 to the king. and the other
half to the informor" Then there IL
an act OF parliament for the rebuild
Ing Of Chelmsford prison which Htipa'
lated In one clause that the prisoners
should be confined In the old prison
until the new ono was bull, and In
anothor-an amending clause. tina,
the new prison should he constructed
out Of the material OF the old one.
The state herald., 1907-09-20
JOKE ON THE CONGRESSMAN.
Waiter Drew Wrong Inference from
Guests Attitude.

A Georgia congressman gleefully
tells of an experience during his last
visit to New York.
The representative had put up at an
American-plan hotel. When, upon sit.
ting down at dinner the first evening
Of his stay, the waiter obseQuiously
handed him bill of fare, the con.
gressman tossed it aside, slipped the
waiter dollar bill, and said. Bring
me a good dinner"
The dinner proving satisfactory. the
southern member pursued this plan
during his entire stay in New York.
AS the last tip was given. he men,
toned that he was about to return to
Washington.
Whereupon. the waiter. with an ex-
preston of great earnestness, said:
We'll, sir, when you or any of your
friends that can't read come to New
York. just ask for Dick.
Weekly.
The state herald., 1907-09-20
A LIttIe court.hlp comedy.

A good-looking, well.to-do bachelor
of Manchester was being teased by
some young women Of his acquaint-
ance for not being married. He said:
"I'll marry the one of you whom on a
secret vote you elect to be my wife"
There were nine women in the com.
pany. Each one went into a corner
and used great caution In preparing
her ballot and disguised her handwrit.
ing.
The result was that there were nine
votes cast, each receiving one. The
man remains bachelor. the friend
ship is broken up. and the women. all
mortal enemies, united in the one de-
termination that they will not speak to
the man again.-The Taller.
The state herald., 1907-09-20
New In Natural History.

Not all English children are we'll
posted on live stock. The following
''howlers" are from essays exhibited
at a recent show "The young horses
have long legs, so that 1t might keep
up to its mother when wild lions like
the lion and tiger are after them to
devour them" THE fowl" declares
still another, when alive is used for
cock-fghting and when dead for its
beautiful feathers THE pig gets
its wool coat off in summer. Then
We get the wool of 1t. The pig is re-
earded as a bad creature"
The state herald., 1907-09-20
He Set a Date,

A merchant in a Wisconsin town
who had Swedish clerk sent him out
to do some collecting. When he re.
turned from an unsuccessful trip he
reported:
YIN Yonson say he will pay ven he
sells his hogs. YIN olesen. he will pay
ven he sell him wheat, and Bill Pack
say he will pay in january"
Well" said the boss, that's the
first time Bill ever set date to pay.
Did he really say he would pay in
january"
well. aye tank So" said the clerk.
ale say dat It ban dam cold day ven
you get that money. tank that ban
In Yanuary."-Harper's Weekly.
The state herald., 1907-09-20
Deafness caunot Be Cured

BY local applieston, as they cannot reach the die
eas-d portion Of the ear. There 10 only way 10
cure deafness aud that IL by remedies.
Deafnes. 10 caused by sn innAned condition of tho
mucous lining OF the EustAehiAn rabe. whrn this
tube ID inhamed you have rumhlins sound or I'm.
perfect hearing and whca it Il entirely closed
ness Il the result aud unlc>s the Inflammation bc
taken out and this tube restored 10 s normal conii
ton. hearing will b. destroyed forever nine cases
out Of ten are caused by CAtarrh. which Il nothing
bot an innamei condition OF tho mucous surfaces.
We viii give one Hundred DolArs for any cas-. Of
Deafn-.. lesused BY eatarrhl that cannot be cured
by Hairs CatAfrh Cure. send for circulars, free.
y. J. CHENEY a CO.. Toledo, ..
Sold by Druggists. s5c.
The state herald., 1907-09-20
The Truth.

Gobsa Code descended painfully
from his 9o.horse power limousine.
Il wish TO purchase" he said. an
engagement ring"
Yes, sir" said the eager clerk. I'VE
have Just imported superb ring. sir
two ruby hearts surrounded"
NO" said the aged millionaire. in n
disillnsioned voice: no. that won't
do, There is only one heart concerned
In this affair. The girl is marrying me
for my money"
The state herald., 1907-09-20
What the Poet SAW.

After their honeymoon TO Niagara
Falls they came back and settled on
the old farm.
Gracious. Sile!" said Cynthia. why
nre you In such n bad humor?"
Making butter is blamed hard
work." grumbled Sile. removing the
beads from his brow.
"oh. cheer up, Sile. Don't the poet
say that It is love that makes the
world so round'7"
Yes. but. by gosh. II don't make the
churn 30 round"
The state herald., 1907-09-20

chronic case. At one time had to use
crutch and cane to get about. My
back was lame and weak. and besides
the aching, there was distressing
retention Of the kidney secretions.
was in bad way when began using
Doan's Kidney Pills in 1901. but the
remedy cured me. and l have been
well ever since"
Sold by all dealers. 80 cents a box.
Foster.Milburn Co., Buffalo. N. Y.
The state herald., 1907-09-20
No Grace.

Four-yearold Anna was invited to
take luncheon with the family Of one
OF her little friends. Before they par.
took OF their meal, the head Of the
house asked blessing upon the food.
during which time Anna chartered con.
stantly. Not wishing to reprove the
child. her hostess said. Il suppose you
don't have grace at your house"
"oh. no." the little girl replied. I'VE
have Bessie. Magazine.
The state herald., 1907-09-20
Pr.psrlna for III. Eu,ur..

80 you want more wages7" said tho
warden Of the penIten,iafy.
That's what ! do" answered ths
cook This talk Of furnishing trust
magnates II getting mo more nervous
every day, II I've got 10 learn to cool
teftapln and lobster n Ia Newbers.
wan, more pay. And what's more.
want to bs called chef"
The state herald., 1907-09-20
Money In Small Inventions.

Tho man who Invented the common
and necessary nhoeiaec realized 81.
100000 from that alone. The man who
obtained the first patent on tho um.
brolla realized t?.ooo.oOo and dineren,
umbrella patents Of other people have
brought 90. .ooo. 900 altogether. The In,
ycn,or of the metal hoclpla,e made
ti.boo.ooo annually M royalty on his
simple invention.
The state herald., 1907-09-20

Starch. like everything else. is be-
Ing constantly improved. the patent
Starches put on the market 25 years
ago are very different and inferior to
those of the present day. In the lat
est discovery-Defiance Starch-all in.
furious chemicals are omitted. while
the addition OF another ingredient. In
vented by us. gives to the Starch a
strength and smoothness never ap.
preached by other brands.
The state herald., 1907-09-20
New to Him,

The leading lady of road company
playing in one of the smaller cities in
Ohio concluded that she would press
some Of her lace collars one morning
She accordingly rang the bell. and
when the hall boy appeared said:
Bring me up n hot iron"
In course OF time he returned empty
handed. and when the lady answered
his knock he said:
Il couldn't get 1t for you. lady"
And why not?" she asked, mysti.
fed.
THE bartender said he didn't know
how to mix it,
The state herald., 1907-09-20

With smooth Iron ana Defiance
Starch. you can laundcr your shirt.
waist Just as well at home as tho
steam laundry can: II will have the
proper stiffness and finish. there will
be less wear and tear Of the goods.
md II will be n positive pleasure to
usc Starch that does not stick to tho
iron.
The state herald., 1907-09-20
Dutch a, Home and Ahrn,d-

Holland has population OF only g..
100000. but there are 10000. 900 Of pco-
pie In the Dutch East and West In.
dies. The Dutch are not at present
much addicted to emigration. In the
United States. at the time OF tho last
census. there were only 100000 per.
sons OF Dutch birth. The number of
Nothcrlandcrs In the Dutch East In.
dies III barely 10000.
The state herald., 1907-09-20
Cool.

what does that stranger on the
beach mean by his signals?" demand
ed the man at the helm. did you
ever see the fellow before?"
NO" answered the girl in the yacht
ing cap, but he has Just proposed to
me by wigwag, and 1 have accepted
him. Our engagement, therefore. is
on. Kindly put me ashore"
The state herald., 1907-09-20
Had Measured II,

'IIow far" asked the frst automo-
bilist as they met at turn In tho
road. ''ls II from here to the next town
where there's u repair shop7"
Eleven hills. three bad bridges. ono
long stretch of deep sand. and two ar.
rests" answered the second automo-
The state herald., 1907-09-20

will interest the thou
sands Of veterans who
came back from the
Civil War suffering tor
lures with kidney COM
plant. Capt. Ely says:
II contracted kidney
trouble during the
Civil War, and the oc-
casional attacks final
ly developed into q
The state herald., 1907-09-20
Her Idea Of q Wooden Leo.

Hewitt-ls your wife u woman Of
practical idcaay
Jowett-wcll. could imagine that
II lost icg she would think that tho
vacancy could bc iillcd by taking one
Of tho legs out Of Pine table that We
no longer usc."-Judgc.
The state herald., 1907-09-20

The great question In life Ia tho suf.
fcrins We cause: and tho utmost In.
genui,y Of metaphysics cannot Justify
tho man who has pierced tho heart
that loved him.-nenjamin Constant.
The state herald., 1907-09-20
HERITAGE OF CIVIL WAR.
Thousands Of Soldiers Contracted
Chronic Kidney Trouble While
In tho Service.

The experience of Capt. John L. Ely
of Co. E. 18th Ohio, now living at 500
East Second street, Newton, Kansas,
The state herald., 1907-09-20

Mrs. Wisstsw's sesthisg syvsp.
vsv ehidf.s tssthiAs, s.ftsbs The s1as reduces -
ssms,os. siists psln. ceres ~isd cola. ms ssssis
The state herald., 1907-09-20

Virtue Ia bold and goodness never
fcarfui.-Bhakespeate.
The state herald., 1907-09-20
VmpesSsns 20 Moth sru

Examine carefully every bottle Of cAsroRfA,
safe aud sa'e svmsdy for Infants and ehildrvs,
And soc that II
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1907-05-10
INF ANTRY IS GOING TO
TYBEE WITH TROOPS
Regiment is Going in
July.
COMMAND IN PRIME CONDITION
About $50 Men of Fourth Regiment
viii 60 to Fort SCriyen in July
---AmeriCus Company Co
ing in Fine Trim.
COMMAND IN PRIME CONDITION

Company L. of the Fourth Regiment
the Americas Light Infantry. is look
ing forward with a great deal OF
pleasureable interest to the annual
outing in July. This year the soldier
boys are going to Tybee to spead a
week with others of the Fourth.
Colonel Lee Wylly, of Thomasville,
commanding the Fourth regiment in
fantry, Georgia national guard, has
conferred at Fort Screven with Colonel
Patterson in regard to the encampment
of his regiment at the fort.
Colonel Wylly says the Fourth is in
excellent condition.
The men of the Fourth regiment
will come to Tybee with full bat
talion,'' said Colonel Wylly, every
company in the regiment will not at
tend the encampment, which starts on
July l and last fifteen days, but the
companies that come will be full.
The troops will mobilize in Savan-
nah and will form battalion there to
go to the island. I expect to haye at
least 24O men under my command du-
ring the encampment.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1907-05-10
IT'S YOUR KIDNEYS.
Dom mistake the Cause of Your
Troubles. Americas Citizen Shows
How to Cure them.

Many people never suspect their
kidneys. If suffering from lame,
week or aching back they think that
it is only muscular weakness; when
urinary trouble sets in they think it
will soon correct itself. And so it is
with all the other symptoms of kid
new disorders. That is just where the
danger lies. Yeu must cure these
troubles or they lead to diabetes or
Brlght's disease. The best remedy to
use is Doan's Kidney Pills. 1t cures
all ills which are caused by weak or
disordered kidneys. Americas people
testify to permanent cures.
A. A. Willis, well known farmer,
living just outside of Americas, says:
81 believe that your pills are all that
are claimed for them. had kidney
trouble and backache, from which I
had been a sufferer for many years.
After lying or sitting in one position
for any length OF time I would almost
loose the use of my back, and would
have to take hold of something for
support. The kidney secretions were
disordered, being dark and full of
sediment, and of a strong odor. I used
many different remedies without much
if any benefit until I got Doan's Kid
ney Pills. Since using them my back
feels strong. The pain has left it, and
the kidney secretions have also been
restored to a normal condition.
You are welcome to use my name as
a reference
For sale by all dealers. Price SO
cents Foster ilburn Co., Buffalo,
New York, sole agents for the United
States.
Remember the name-Doan's-and
take no other.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1907-05-10

Nasal Catarrh, an infnmation of the
delicate membrane lining the air passa-
ges, is moi cured by any mixtures
taken into the stomach. Don't waste
time on them. Take Ely's Cream
Balm through the nOstrils, so that the
fevered, swollen tissues are reached at
once. Never mind how long you have
suffered nor how often you have been
disappointed, we know Ely's Cream
Balm will cure you as it has cured
others by the thousand. All druggists,
soc. Mailed by Ely Bros, Sc Warren
Street, New York.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1907-05-10
CROP OUTLOOK IS GLOOMY
The Poorest in Years Says CON- Hudson After
Investigation

Il have never seen the crops in
Georgia in as deplorable condition as
they are today, remarked Commission
er of agriculture Hudson upon his re-
turn from trip to southern and SOUTH
west Georgia.
As a result of the extreme cold
weather OF April, there has had to be
q great deal of replant1ng of cotton.
There has been difficulty in getting
seed and most of the seed obtainable
has been of poor quality.
To add to these handicaps, the coun-
try is now suffering from too much
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1907-05-10

rain and the result Is that in many
fields the grass is up and hourishing
where the cotton has not yet broken
through the ground.
'The wet weather is delaying plow-
ing and other work whenever oppor-
tunity for it presents itself.
There is no doubt in my mind that
these conditions are going to seriously
affect this years crop, and l have no
hesitancy even this far in advance of
considerable falling off IN
the yield. These conditions are gener-
al in many of the southern states"
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1907-05-10
FIVE HUNDRED SUMTER
County People VIII Testify that

Livertone contains all the good
virtues of calomel and at same time
does not cause any of the unpleasant
effects that calomel does. Call at
Dodson's Pharmacy and they will tell
you of your neighbors that have used
Livertone and are delighted with it.
Remeber that LIvertone causes no re-
strictiOn of habits or diet and that the
genuine Livertone can only be had at
DOdsons Pharmacy.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1907-05-10
Black Taffeta silk at CSC.

One of the best grades we have
ever shown for the price, every yard
fully guaranteed full yard wide and
worth SIPS If worth a cent, very
special here r1onday and Tuesday
at per yard ......... ............ CSC
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1907-05-10
Ladies Bonnets at Csc.

Ladies and MissAs bonnets made of
chamDray, full line of sizes, all staple
colors, if you were to buy the m aterial
used in one of these today you could
not get it for 25c our price for the
b0nnets ready made each 25C
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1907-05-10
Notice To The Public.

On account of the Bankers Conven-
ton, on Friday, May 10. the under
signed banks of A mericus will close at
L O'Clock p. M, in order to enable their
employees to attend the convention.
Customers are requested to kindly
govern themselves accordingly.
Very respectfully,
Bank of Commerce,
Bank of Southwestern Georgia,
Planters Bank,
Americas National Bank,
Americas Trust & S'vs. Bank.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1907-05-10
DON'T PUT IT OFF LONGER.
Get Rid of That Indigestion at Once
by Using Mi-O-na.

Either through slackness or careless
themselves by chronic indigestion. By
neglecting to cure at once any sluggish
ness of the important organs of di-
gestion the system is filled with fer
menting and decaying food that results
in sickheadache, heartburn, bad taste
in the mouth, coated tongue, specks
troubles and the many other symptoms
hat are the direct result of indiges-
ton.
The want of perfectly safe yet eff
fective cure for Indigestion and stom-
ach troubles in their many forms was
felt up to the time of the successful
Investigations that resulted in the pro-
ductiou of Mi-o-na stomach tablets.
They quickly cure the worst cases of
indigestion, and the pain and distress
which are often felt after meals disap-
pear in very few days-such is The
wonderful curative power of Mi ma.
The old fashioned medicines for
stomach troubles merely digest the
food, while Mi-o-na strengthens the
digestion organs so that they soon be-
come able to care for the food that is
eaten.
Mi-o-na cure stomach troubles cost
but 5Oconts box and do more real good
than dozen boxes of the ordinary di-
give an absolute, unqualified guaran-
tee to refund the money if Mi-o-na fails
| To o11rn
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1907-05-10
- @ - HEALS
~H1e >m1o - OLD SORES

An old
posons which are in the blood and long this vital fluid
contaminated
Washes
gradually growing
sufferer There which the blood
spell of
failure the elmnatve members
the body the medicines
the blood with morbid matter and which
heal
very apt to be afflicted with sores and ulcers The faint lie dormant
middle
the weaker
break
drainage
will continue by
dischagng, slowly
going driving
impurities and building circulation When
the the blood becomes rich and healthy the begins to heal
flesh formed
applications which do reach the blood but begin the
thl
and medical advice
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1907-05-10
Ladies' 81 To S2.25 White Skirts
ktSI.25.

Ladies skirts made of white
LlNENE we'll made and trimed full
complete line of siz IS worth asusuaIly
sold 81 90 to So. Is here now at each
$l.25
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1907-05-10
A Certain Cure for Aching Feet.

Shake into your shoes Aliens Foot-Ease, a
powder. Itacurts Tired, Aching Callous,
Sweating, Swollen feet. At all Druggists
and Shoe Stores, csc. SAMPLE FREE. AG-
dress, Alien S. Olmsted, Leroy, N. Y.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1907-05-10
VaIenCeinnes LaCes at &c.

We have sold III ~, e val. isces this
season than we snid AlIlast year. why?
because we have sold as may lOc
lace, Tor DC a. have sold c iaCen f r. Sc,
new shipment just received about
5000 yards and fully two thirds Of
them are the real lOc kinds, they are
are all displayed ON special tables and
priced for your choice at per yards
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1907-05-10

Argo Red Salmon is cheaper than
beefsteak at 10 cts. per pound, because
it contains more nourishment
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1907-05-10
ChiIdrenS' Perfection Waists at 23C

rlonday morning we will place on
sale one of the greatest lots of chill
drens underWaist ever shown in this
city, great variety of the ''feddy''
and "PerfectiOn Brand" made of
light cambria, light, cool and cem-
Portable, all sizes here Mond ~ and
Tuesday at each. .2}c
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1907-05-10

For RENT-5 Room house 1913 Finn
street. 70 diff L. M. HAWKINS.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1907-05-10
iSC to 35C White Madras tt II
l-2C I'd.

Just two thousand yards in this
lot, and they are all in lengths of
three yards no more or no less to the
piece, they are worth from 10, t. 35c
if they are worth one cent now take
pick of the lot at per yd III | &c.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1907-05-10
20OBoIts Ribbon 35C Per Bolt.

NJ 2 Satin ribbons guaranteed
all silk in black, white, and every
staple shade tn grade that sells regu-
larry for Sc yard, while this lot lasts
we will sell at per bolt Of 10 yards
for $50.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1907-05-10

Hall Racks:
No. lis for $3.50 was $45.
No. 112 for Is. :. was IS.
No. 1874 for d, was N.5O.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1907-05-10
For instance:

Our No o. Mahogony piece suit for IS r.. 100
Our No 81 Mahogany piece suit for 12O co.
Our No 1O1 CHARTERED Oak piece suits for 100 90.
Our No. 446 CHARTERED Oak piece suit for. 10000.
Our No. 1865 Chartered Oak piece suit for. 1000,
Orr No 722 CHARTERED Oak piece suit for, $780,
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1907-05-10

No. 353 for $3.50 was $35.
No. 1O6 for Is was 20.
No. 481 for 27.5O was $3.50.
No. 626 for 1880 was 16.
The Washington bee., 1907-04-06
Imitation ALWAYS Bad.

Clyde Fitch in a kindly letter to a
young and unknown playwright said:
Il liked your play; I thought it prom
Using, but in the first act you initiated
Ibsen, in the second you initiated Pi-
nero and in the third and fourth you
initiate Barrie This will never do.
Imitation in art is always bad It
suggests the shabby man who as he
slipped a glass of beer looked in the
mirror behind the bar and muttered
to himself; Here I am wearing a rail-
road presidents shoes, the trousers of
a senator. the hat of a millionaire
banker, the vest of a Newport society
leader and an ambassadors coat and
yet in spite of all I look like a
tramp"
The Washington bee., 1907-04-06

young Wright had to work hard. He
says he broke the first earth for the
Air Line railroad.
Then he carried the hod for rs cents
a day. After many years he got ahead
by buying lumber He retired ten
years ago, after he had amassed for
tune Of $125,000, invested mostly in
real estate and mortgages.
Wright says he was disappointed in
love 40 years ago and he has written
reams of poetry on the perfdy of wo-
men. He has provided that after his
death this additional inscription shall
be placed upon his monument: Never
beat by man, but by woman"
Wright lives in a plain house with
a niece, Mrs. Eta Crane, 20 years old,
daughter of William Crane, a Hartford
manufacturer. She does the house
work, shaves him, cuts his hair and
washes his face and hands. She owns
a $4,000 farm at Ellington and Wright
has made a will leaving his all to her,
except $4,000 to the Putnam Congre-
gational church, because his mother
attended it. and $4,000 to the Putnam
hospital.
An old monument costing $500
which the present one displaced, he
has offered to the city for a soldiers
monument, but it has not been ac-
Cepted
Wrights occupation is given in the
Putnam City directory as having no
business. but to mind his own"