Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-11-23
FREIN DSHlP OF WOMEN.
Greatest Happiness in Life of Gentle Sex
Is Forming of New Ties-Many
Chances Now.

1
Chances Now.
The belief that friendship between
women was a shallow emotion at best
may have had some foundation in the
age of samplers and crinolines, when
simpering femininity was neither expect
ed nor encouraged TO use what intellect
and capacity Providence had been
pleased to bestow upon her. When wom-
an interests were confined to the do
mestic sphere entirely she had less
chance of forming friendships outside of
her Immediate home circle. Women's
clubs and colleges and societies today
provide opportunities of meeting and of
mutual appreciation; the wider interest
/ that modern woman is taking in civic,
political and philanthropic questions
gives her every chance of forming sin
cere, helpful friendships with other
women. The greatest happiness in the
| life of the average working woman IS
derived from her friendships. So far as
| home ties are concerned the working
woman is a lonely individual, and it Is
the woman who lives alone who can APP
preciate friendship aI IT'S true worth.
| Marriage supplies the need of friend
ship to most domesticated women, whose
emotional capacity and power of affec-
ton are lavished upon their immediate
l
who go through life without marriage.
whose work has to take the place of
children, and to these friendship with
another woman is the kindest gift Provl-
dence can bestow. Natural woman must
! love something. The old maids of a past
generation lavished their starved hearts
| upon a cat or parrot; the unmarried
| woman of today has no need to seek
such futile consolation for single blessed
ness.
| 1t has been said that when love comes
| into woman's life. friendship with
| other women ceases to interest her, and
| there is some truth in the assertion. Only
| the most stable and real of friendships
between women survive the marriage of
one of them. The more intimate ties
which marriage brings. the constant APP
| phcation to home duties which every
woman who desires to be a successful
wife and mother has to determine upon,
mean some slackening of the friendship
which was everything IN younger days.
Many interests have to take the place of
one, and it follows that the warmest
friendships exist between unmarried
women. We make our best friendships
in adolescence, because as we grow older
we become less receptive, less generous
IN the giving out of ourselves College
life sees the formation of strong ties of
affection between many girls. The subtle
w
friendship cannot evolve, is keenest when
the heart and soul are young; the crust
Of middle age is not easily pierced by
the tender shoot of friendship in later
years. And it is these school and college
friendships which are the most unselfisl
and which last longest. The intimacy
of years brings about mutual understand
ing; common interest and aims and work
form bond which may last through this
life, at any rate. College girls and work
ing women generally form deeper friend
ships because of their common work:
there is less chance of the cultivation of
a great friendship between women who
only meet socially. Not that it follows
that the society and the domesticated
woman are less capable of friendship; it
is only that they have less opportunity
of sufficient knowledge. The arti-
6ciality of ordinary social relation
ship. the dissimulation and tactful
lying which pleasurable association
with out fellows appears to require,
is not an atmosphere where the
tender plant of friendship will flourish.
There can be no true friendship without
sincerity; the strain and rush of social
life allow little time for getting below
peaceful, natural atmosphere, essential
for the birth of the sentiment of friend
ship. And yet the woman who has never
had a woman friend has missed one of
the best things of this life. There is
nothing peaceful and restful and helpful
about friendship with a man; if he does
not fall in love with her he loses inter-l
est in his friend with his engagement and
marriage with another woman. Then, it
is only with a woman friend one can he
entirely sincere. There are natural de-
ceits and little destinations always be-
tween man and woman, between husband
and wife: the eternal antagonism of the
sexes makes complete sincerity almost
an impossibility. The barrier of sey
comes into play, and in real friendship
there must be no barrier: there must be
absolute understanding and spiritual and
intellectual affinity.
Why are women's friendships so often
Z .signated as shallow and insincere? Re-
use the word friendship is not used in
true sense; there are friendships. as
as marriages. of convenience. There
be no friendship between shallow.
/, clleap and commonplace people, the fool
ish alliances which sometimes exist be-
tween two women, and which men call
friendships, are social contracts for mu-
tual advantage. which last only while
mutual benefit is derived. Because some
women are incapable of deep. urselfsh
grand friendships. it were folly to CON
denim the sex as incapable of the senti-
ment of friendship. Because man some
times loves and rides away, we do not
say that the love of man for a maid
does not eNlSI. anu tneTe Is only one
thing finer in life than friendship. and
that is love. and even love must be built
upon a foundation of friendship if it
is to have any permanence of existence
Life would be empty of half its lows
but for our friends, for. although
woman is popularity supposed to have
one love. she may have many friend
ships with her own sex.
Friends pass from us as life goes on.
we lose item when partings come. and
we form new ties and new interests.
The law of alteration holds good in
friendship as in all else; we make friends
only to lose them, and the pessimist de-
clares that friendship. like love. is but
a transient emotion. But because friend
ships sometimes move TO poor cOnciu-
sions. LET us not imagine that they have
been worthless and Improbable: no kind
II emotion, no unselfish affection or re-
gard can possibly be lost. The conversa-
ton &c love is as much a law of nature
as the conservation of energy.-kate
Muriison in Home Magazine.
Tn Harlan