The Washington herald., 1907-12-08

tied her arms into a butterfly knot In a
vain attempt TO button the apron up the
back
Men" The Mere Man looked his as
constituent. but closed his lips with wise
determination.
YES" said the Bachelor Girl, ignoring
the infection. as she twisted herself ser
pentine fashion and desperately grasped
the wrong button. Did you read about
that farmer who refused TO marry a girl
because she wore elbow sleeves?'
Perhaps" suggested the Mere Man
tolerantly. 1t was the best excuse he
could think of at the moment. Or per-
haps. he added, thoughtfully studying
the Bachelor Girls dImpled forearms.
her elbows weren't as fascinating
Now, Mr.. Porter The Bachelor Girl
dropped her arms suddenly and gave up
the attempt TO fasten the apron.
AS he had hoped" finished the Mere
Nam with virtuous eclat Couldn't l
button It for you?" he added wistfuily
"Oh, probably" replied the Bachelor
Girl sweetly. you could; but-you can't
Il doesn't need to be buttoned.' she
easel and selecting a brush. 1T wasn't
her elbows the farmer objected to-" she
resumed with unrufied dignity; 1T was
what he called her immodesty' And
while he was denOuncing her he probably
stood there with his shirt sleeves rolled
up 10 his shoulders and his collar
rolled down at the throat, and the guilty
consciousness that ne had eaten dinner
with his coat of. and owed his house
rent, and underpaid his field hands, and
beat his dog. and overworked his plow
horses. It's always the men who are
least particular about their own man
ners and morals that are most particular
about the manners and morals Of their
wives II Satan should come up here to
search for a soul mate he probably would
demand "A paragon OF all the virtues and
a vision of beauty. instead of nice con-
genial little devil with hoofs and horns.
And if St. Peter should come down
here wife-hunting, retorted the Mere
Man promptly. he'd probably be taken
by the first designing young thing who
had her eye On the gatekeeper's lodge"
And he'd like her all the better if she
blondined her hair and possessed a few Of
the vices with which TO spice his monot-
onOus existence" rejoined the Bachelor
Girl, carefully drawing a pink line down
the nose of a painted kitten. "kll the
worst women get the best husbands. and
all the nice. noble women marry rakes,"
she added. with sigh
"Of, WELL. said the Mere Man cheer
sofa pillows. 'perhap it's q provision of
Providence TO prevent us from becoming a /
race Of angels and devils. In the long
run. the virtues and vices get spread
around equally. don't they. like the jam
and the butter on the bread?"
But it isn't fair" protested the Bache-
Tor Girl. ''and Providence has nothing to
do with it, It's all the fault Of mans in
consistency-
WHAT"
And his egotism. The less a man has
to offer. the more he demands. The more
liberties he permits himself. the fewer he
permits women. And the funny part Of it
IS that he generally gets just what ne
thinks he wants
"Oh. that's easy" began the Mere Man |
confidently. with the market so large and |
the demand So
81 beg your pardon?" The Bachelor Girl |
held her brush poised stifiy in midair
''SO-er-"
"Yes?" The atmosphere of the studio !
grew icy I'm spite Of the glowing fire.
'So-unsatsfactOry," finished the Mere
Man. carefully.
Its always the man. continued the |
Bachelor Girl. resUming her painting |
with the pug nose and the hollow chest |
and no legs or morals or style or income |
20 speak of who goes about crticising |
and picking and choosing among women. |
rs If he were a CrOesus and an AdOnis /
and a Solomon all rolled into one. It's |
always the little chappy with the retreat |
ing forehead and the tailor-made figure |
and the cigarette-stained fingers who rails /
against the stupidity and the artiiciality !
and the bad manner of the modern wo- |
man and laments his inability TO find a
high-sOuled affinity It's always the man
with past as lurid as billboard and a
record of broken hearts and broken en-
gagements miles long who is looking for
d girl who never has been kissed when |
it comes to matrimony. It's always the
man who has been most careless about his |
own record who is most careful about his |
wife's reputation.
Perhaps" agreed the Mere Man cheer |
fully. but isn't it natural Of him to be !
careful? y chap can have only one wife |
at Il time, you know, and-divorces are !
expensive. When you've got only one /
guess you're liable 20 think a long time /
before you hazard IT, Selecting a wife is /
ike buying house; you can't get your /
money or your freedom back once you /
have signed the papers. You want to be /
awfully sure beforehand that you are /
getting something that viii show up well /
and give you solid comfort and do you /
credit and not prove too great an eX- /
pense. nor be in need Of paint and re- /
pairs; something sunny and warm and /
cheerful and adaptable and equipped with /
all the substantial qualities and all the /
graces: something that will impress your /
neighbors and be the envy of your friends |
And then" cried the Bachelor Girl. |
waving her brush with evaporation. Won /
want TO get il all for half price-or for |
nothing I've noticed she continued. /
with a whitening glance at the Mere Man. /
that the people who haven't any money
always expect the most for H. The peo- /
pie who don't pay their board bills are
the ones who are always looking for the /
best rooms and complaining about the
service. The men who have a right to
demand all the things you name are too
10 ask them. It's the small men
who demand big bargains in wives The
big men Just go into the matrimonial 4
market as they would into shop. and
pick out the first thing that attracts their
eyes, and say Give me that while the
petty little dudes and cross-grained old
bachelors are overhauling the stock and
damaging the goods. trying TO find some
thing without a flaw"
Well. began the Mere Man. indiffer-