The Ketchikan miner., 1907-04-20
SARCASTIC BUT PERTINENT.
ITO the Editor.

force. Since Eve been hanging around here so much in the vicinity of such variety of cans, (How-kan, Ta-kan, Sha-kan, Tuxi-can, oyster cans, pe-cans, Ketchi-kan and can can, have become imbued some- what with the Alaska spirit. I don't mean literally, but just that feeling of elation such as you experience the after big drench of Dr. Dosem's Spring Sar-sap-a-rilly. Sitting down to think it over, I am with the long cont nued efforts of you Alaska people to secure a full fledged territorial form of gov ernment. Why, you've got home rule now, haven't you? l mean theoretically, of course. Wasn't it pledged to you by the republican party in national convention? Of course; and if the goods do not quite come up to the label, whose fault is it? The label is all right. What are you kicking about? You have officials sent from New York, Cali fornia, Indiana, Oregon, Washing ton, Idaho and any old place except Alaska. But the label is all right Then, again, if the democrats had control of the national government, how much better off would you be? You see, I speak from the standpoint of an old-time, hide-bound, lifelong republican, and I couldn't help getting in that dig. But seriously: home rule. What is it? Would you be any happier if you had it? How do you know that you wouldn't be such mutton-heads as to enact legis- lation that would drive capital away? You know the danger of that thing has been gravely pointed out-and by people, too, whose trousers have grown baggy at the knees supporting the awful responsibility of saving you from yourselves. You would be a nice lot of people, wouldn't you, if that should happen? Like the old rancher who yoked himself up with his unbroken calf you'd be yelling :: Head us off, somebody. Durn our fool skins, we'll break our blamed necks!' Yes, you would. But both parties declared for it, didn't they?
 Why, of. course they did, stupid :. WTbot cort Cf a Aytpan did vo,, c,,p
 pose they were running about election time? Didn't the people overwhelm-
 ingly declare for a territorial gov ernment by their votes? Sure. That $ what they were expected to do. There was no harm in permitting them to indulge in a little harmless
 illusion like that. A boy who tickled the belly of cat sleeping in the sun explained his conduct by saying that it didn't hurt him any and it pleased the cat very much.
 But what about the realities? Well,
 now, you're hot deuce high. You can't even ante in the game, let alone open jackpot What do you amount to in national convention? In de- ciding any question in either House of Congress, how much weight would you carry? You might look pleasant, or otherwise, but the pills would
 have about as much effect as if the empty box were dipped in a barrel of rainwater and the water were taken,
 teaspoonful every four months
 You are simply lot of people strung out over a few thousand miles of space, affording chance heee and there of providing a nice comfortable
 little public teat for some senatorial
 hanger-on from some one of the states.
 Understand, I am an admirer of Roosevelt, in spite of all his faults and mistakes-and he certainly has made some raw moves that must have
 been made when his common sense wasn't looking. I would like to see him forced into another term of the presidency whether or no. 1 don t believe that Taft or anybody else can be depended upon to do things to the big trusts that Teddy would do. And, Foraker is simply a dramatic performer for the benefit of the galleries, who is immensley magnifi- ed by pitting himself against con- structive statesmen.
 But the doing of justice, or even a semblance of it, to Alaska, is quite another thing. The silliest of all arguments against a territorial gov ernment is that of expense. Wash ington had territorial government in full blast when she did not have F, 900 people. When she became a state in 1SS9 after having borne the awful(?) burdens of territorial govern ment thirty-five years, all her public debt was funded by an issue of S300,- 900 in State bonds-and her people had grown rich and prosperous under the burden CD of territorial gov ernment. The people who exploit this particular little striped devil for the terrorlzing of children, are either ignorant themselves, or else they can scarcely keep their faces straight as the sawdust leaks out of it. The Philippines, fresh from hundreds of years of savagery under Spanish lnisrule. must be given liberal measure of home rule--just to