The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-11

He DissoExes the LhnekiIn Debating
Society

was ended and when the roUIl1s "a
business was finished and Bro1nel
Gardner arose In his place with a Sc
rfous look on his face, there were pro-
found silence and an uncanny reeins
He uotfoued 10 Samuel shin 70 pu'
auother zoaD box into the stove and
to Pickles Smith TO throw away ne r
mains Of the raw rurnip he vas cnanA-
ing on and then quietly said
MY friends I hereby announce 70
you de dissoIuxhun OF de Liraekiln D- e-
hztfn' society From and arter as
date it VIII be hung by de neck until
dead
(Sersatfon lasting a full minute, dur
Ing which time state Rights Johnson
choked over q peanut and mad 70 pc
pounded on the back and kicked on
the shine-)
Some two months ago sartin mem
bers Of dis club came 10 me WIo De
proposition TO start debatin society
wfdfn dis organization II was 70
elevate EN- II was TO add 20 DER
ginersI knowledge and give en- more
mental confidence in deirseIves-
Il looked upon de idea wild doubt
I believed dat de persons interested
could benefit dsmselves a heap more
by sittin' down at home wild de spellin'
book and de arithmetic I gin my con-
sent however. ard de society was
formed and begun 20 hold Heetin's- I
kept away until de meetiu' last week
wanted TO gin de society fair
Elder PenstOck as de shInin' light at
its head"
(Hitchllg around and uneasy move
ments in all parts of the hall General
feeling that a brick house was going
to hit some one before the thing was
over)
II drauped into de meetin' last week
speetin' TO be highly entertained
had heard dat de society was in full
hast and takin' de shine out OF any
tH1g of de kind in de kencry- Seberal
people told me dat Cicero wasn't in IL
wild some Of de members and dat had
Clay, Calhoun and Webster Ubbed on
till dis date dey would have hid DER
heads in humiliaShun-'
(More Of that uneasy feeling. during
which some one threw an apple core
and hit Drawback Henderson in the
left eye-)
"De subjick Of debate dat eavenin'
was Kin Cross-Eyed Man Eber At
tain Greatn ess.' De first speaker was
Bladder Jones He hain't cross-eyed
but was born bow-legged and has a
sympathy fur cross-eyed folks He rfz
up and tackled de subjick like a man
sawfn- wood fur his breakfast. and he
closed his remarks by sayiu':
De attenuation Of de aggravashun
exceeds de compatibility OF de exzg
gerashun so much dat IL is useless 70
prosecute de procrastiuashun any fur
der
Yes. dat was de way he wound up. |
and de close was received wild thun- {
ders OF applause Brudder Jones sot {
down like a man who had cleaned out
de last chicken in de coop. and den I
Brudder Slayback White got up and 4
tried his hand He yelled He waved 4
his arms like windmill He Jumped /
up and down When his knees got 4
weak and his voice got hoarse he +
wound up wild:
"a You kin believe Wild Charles Sum
ner or wtd Tom Collins. but as fur ne
de compiiashun OF de fnsiuuashun in
=
dat de affiliashun must eventually tri-
umph ober de humfIfashun-'
Yes. my friends. OATS de way Brud-
der White ended up. and when he sot
q number OF you gathered around him
and shook his hand. You just reckon
ed dat he had climbed 10 tOpmost
limb Of a tree and had reached de
pinnacle
(Mcre uneasiness. All over the hall
, was like a farmers hired man wait
~ for the COW TO kick him and won
dering where her hoof would Iand-)
De remarks OF de Drecedin' speak
ers had fired de oratorfcaI am bfsFun of
Waydown Bebee, and he bodied up to
speak MS piece I thought at first dat
he had been seized Wild de bilious cole /
zen thought he vas practfcin' TO go
futo vaudeville and do q contorshun /
act All to once he shot of his mouf
and FOR seben long minutes he spoke
SO fast I could not foIIer him Den.
"AA IL SNE OF MIN and his
knees shaktn'. he wound Up.
De disordered appeIlashun Of de
cnaotc re1utaShun must convince eb-
cry nearer wfdiu sound OF nv voice
Dat de eliminashun OF de co-ordina-
shun can no longer resist de aspfra-
shuns OF de Bryonic seSreza shuu
(Brother Gardner paused here 10
take drink OF hard cider from the
and the hall was as still as the
grave while the liquid went RurRlfrg
down and his Adams appre moved m
ana down He wore q baIny smile as
he set the pitcher down. but there vvsS
to faH-)
Yes. dat's what waydown Rebaa
said and he was follered by Pinkeye
Slack and Panama Jackson and Mfs7t 1
non1as ana others. and each and eb-
cry one or dem made a fool OF hfsseIr !
Il was q menaSerfe wi5 all de hvenas
LET loose II was an idiot asylum wild
I'll de patients chatcerfn' II held DE-
so ni71t EelasnIn 70 oratory dat skinned
milk does TO cham pagne- I sot dera
and took II all IN and said nothfr' !
went home. and as fingered
n de door fur mint Rebate Hender-
son was sayin'.
" In seekfn' TO perrorata lie nfeorts+.
ct Us not lose sight Of de cana biIIt-
u de comparison and when mex -
evenruare may de eifmfnashru OF da
F ss71tA ardcuiate our scineiIIate-' !
'on was saytn'. and I now az him to
% TT"
can't say. sab" replied the
brother as he stood up.
"Brudder Bebee. what did you mean
~ your remarks?''
IT duu-dunno.
And Brudder Black - '
IT was jest renarkfn', sab"
And Brudder Thomas 80
Cant say. sab" :
NO. reckon you cant Five Or
TX OF you had copied out and learned ! ,
lot OF big words, and you stood m J
iere and fred 'ern OF at each otherl
nd tried % make yourseIEas haIis1-s )