davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10
A Promising Fowl

As Christmas comes on apace and the
turkey problem once more confronts per-
sons with lean and hungry pocketbooks
no less than those with plenty. it is
pleasant to contemplate the variety Of
fowl Of this persuasion now being bred
in certain section of Colorado. If they
can be put upon the market in quantities
sufficiently large TO make the meat trust
and other oppressive combines Of similar
nature take notice. the turkey trade will
be speedily revolutiOnized. and the COM
mon people once more come into their
own.
1t appears that a certain rural gentle
man Of Colorado upon opening the giz-
zard OF his Thanksgiving Day fowl a few
weeks ago discovered therein four large
gold nuggets. thirteen silver nuggets. and
a particularly beautiful amethyst Subse-
Quent search conducted among the giz-
yards Of other turkeys on his farm dis
closed more nuggets; none quite so rich
as the first, to be sure. but all of paying
proportions. As there are no indications
Of gold in paying quantities, from the
miners point of view, upon this gentle
mans place. it is surmised that the tur-
keys gradually accumulate a certain
amount of gold dust and silver particles
while picking around among the soil Of
the farm; that this is, by SOME peculiar
mechanism inside the fowl, concentrated
gradually into nuggets. and that they
eventually may be extracted from the
deceased turkeys gizzards, and converted
into cash or clearinghouse certificates.
according 10 the state of the money
market at the moment, Of course.
A fascinating feature of the business is
that purchasers of these turkeys will
never be able to tell until the gizzards are
opened whether they have drawn capital
prizes, consolation prizes. or approximate
blanks-the contents of the pockets"
thus far examined varying widely in
value. This trade, however, is not to be
classed as gambling. or as anything in
the nature Of playing the races. or pur-
chasing lottery tickets, for even the
lowest prizes, or zero gizzards. as it were.
still carry with them and to the pur-
chaser the value of one turkey-which is
an item not to be sneezed at under any
circumstances. You pay for your tur-
key-at a slight advance of price. to be
sure-and you get all Of the thrill of the
sportsmanlike individual without any
fears OF a troubled conscience afterward.
Mankind in general will hail with joy
the turkey that promises a rebate on the
investment whether he ever gets it or
not 1t is pleasant to feel that one may
be getting something more for his good
money than he now gets for the amount
required 10 provide his Christmas or
Thanksgiving Day table with the one
Indispensable dish We suspect these
turkeys will be snapped up like hot
cakes whenever this Colorado party
throws them upon an anxious and wait
ing market
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10
Navnl Gunnsrr and Mobility

The Secretary of the Navy. in his an
nual report. made remark which ought
to have attracted some attention. but It
seems TO have escaped the comment il
might naturally be expected to invoke
Mr. Metcalf deplored. in a short para
graph which contained more intimation
than Information, the fact as ne con-
ceived It, that naval gunnery had been
carried on at the expense Of the mobility
OF the fleet. Whatever may be behind
this statement. it must be recognized as
a criticism directed by the Secretary of
the Navy against his own administration,
because he has it in his power with the
simple operation of an official signature
to increase exercises in the feet maneu-
vers to any extent. and. with the ap-
proval of the President. 10 send sixteen
battle ships and other vessels on the
cruise to the Pacific Coast and possibly on
a circumnavigation OF the globe. mas
much as target practice with the heavy
guns OF naval vessels. together with the
competition and small arms on shore by
biuejackets. does not require more than
six weeks or two months in any year.
liieIe Is no reason why the Navy Depart
ment should find itself in the position of
having established efficiency in marks
manship with main batteries and small
arms at the expense OF anything else.
There are ten months remaining IN the
year when the fleet may be moblized
to the extremity OF activity and distance.
The tendency Of this administration in
naval and military affairs has been to-
ward the superlative along a few re-
stricted lines. as is shown By the pre-
pOnderance of horsemanship as a qualii-
cation OF the efficiency Of the military
personnel That is a fault which is easily
corrected, however; and so far as the
navy is concerned. there ought not 10 be
any necessity of admitting that the i'm
pOrtant achievement Of hitting the target
has been overdone There is an op-
portunity TO maintain that desirable
quality and accomplish the other things
which are necessary in having an all
around, and avoiding a lop-sided. naval
efficiency.
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10
Secretary straus on 1mmieratiou.

Secretary Straus' annual report is nota-
BILE for its lucid handling Of the immigra-
ton problem and for it's frank avowal of
the necessity for more liberal inter
probation Of our Chinese exclusion policy
an avowal which has an obvious bearing
on the japanese exclusion question.
should that be dealt with through legis-
lation. Mr. Straus expressly disclaims
any desire to change our present Chinese
immigration policy, but points out that
the law, as now framed makes a dis
elimination against the Chinese race that
is not at all essential to the purpose OF
the exclusion act. The real purpose of
the governments policy. he says. is to
exclude a certain well-defned class of
Chinese, leaving other Chinese as free 70
enter as the subjects of any other nation.
But the law appears 10 make exclusion
the rule and admission the exception.
This involves a discrimination on ac-
count Of race that is naturally humiliating
TO O-ientals. Mr.. Straus suggests that
the whole difficulty could be removed By
making admission the rule and exclusion
the exception, without making IL any
easier for Chinese Iaborers to enter or
In any way modifying our prohibitory
policy.
Mr. Straus defends his proposal on
grounds of justice and equality. as well as
of commercial self-interest. He protests
against the exclusion Of foreigners in such
way as ''needlessly to offend the amour
propre OF a friendly nation. or unneces-
sarily TO humiliate a whole people He
declares that the falling or OF our trade
with China. attributable in large part 10
the boycott is sufficiently startling to
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10
sub.erviency OF the Hou.e.

From the Louisville Courier-Journal
The House pays the penalty for faulty
organization It's restriction Of debate.
its subservience to the Committee on
Rules. render its acts of very doubtful
wisdom, and when they get into the SEN
ate they are either rejected or so changed
as TO lose their identity IN many cases.
The House is, therefore, dominated by
the Senate. which. though farther from
the people, exercises a dispropOrtionate
Influence. That influence is sometimes
wholesome; il is often pernicious; but
the difference in organization and in
modes OF action makes II the more pow
erful body. so that even when the House
represents the viii Of the people il is
often unable 70 effectuate it.
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10
INSPIRED BY THE HERALD.

Richmond Times-Dispatch: THE Pres
ident used to wear side whiskers. de-
clares The Washington Herald, vindic-
lively unwilling to let bygones be by
cones.
New York Mail: The Brag habit. The
Washington Herald observes. has even
got into the magazines. Even got into
the magazines" say you? Why, they
discovered it.
New York Herald: The washington
Herald once more quotes that ancient
untruth that all the world loves a lover.
when It ought TO know that the other
fellow hates him.
Houston Post: Those who are telling
The Washington Herald that It is perfect
are going entirely too fast. There is much
that we expectNto teach the Herald during
the next few years.
Richmond Times Dispatch: Santa
Claus doesn't know anything about finan-
cial furries." says The Washington Her
aid. However, it is grimly recalled that
Cato learned Greek at eighty.
Richmond Times-Dispatch: Pig iron is
also down in price. notes The Washington
Herald. However, nobody eats pig iron
nowadays. except. maybe, an occasional
end-seat hog, here and there.
Birmingham Age-Herald: The Wash
ington Herald tells of a Massachusetts
man who was arrested for stealing box
. e .
nobody would have been surprised
Atlanta Journal: In asserting that wat
ermelon rind is the finest preserve, of
course. The Washington Herald did not
mean TO decry the excellence Of that
game preserve down in the louisiana
canebrakes.
Louisville Courier-Journal: Another OBJ
lection to The Washington HeraId's
Increment TO have Breathitt county
wiped off the map is that Judge Har-
gis might fasten himself upon some other
community.
Norfolk Landmark: The Norfolk Land
mark corcurs heartily in The Washing
ton Heralds artistic defense Of preserved
watermelon rind. That luscious item of
provant has long been on the official
menu Of the Round Table.
Birmingham Age-Herald: Let the New
York Mail have its Marvellous Manhattan,
The Washington Herald its Wondrous
Washington, and the Houston Post its
Grand Old Texas! Wen stick to Busy
Birmingham, and no frills.
Charleston News and Courier: The
Washington Herald objects to the Ian
guage Of baseball reporting. but it never
lived in a pennant-winning town. Base
ball in Washington should be reported In
the language OF floral offerings"
Jackson CMiss) News: 'Is there a pie
trust?' asks The Washington Herald.
Certainly. ASK any negro Republican In
Mississippi. and he will tell you, without
a moments hesitation, who manipulates
the pie trust in this Commonwealth.
Harrisburg Pa) Patriot: There is truth
as well as humor in the remark Of The
Washington Herald that Money talks,
TO be sure, but it is mighty hard to I'M
derstand what it is saying when it has
to talk from the bottom OF an old stock
ing"
Richmond Times-pispatch: eat the
same time," muses. The Washington
Herald. "it cannot be denied that our
eagle is old enough TO wear pants" The
salient point here. however, is as 10
whether Il is level-headed enough to 20
around at night without its motto on.
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10
Democratic Silence

From the New York World.
But hardly less extraordinary than the
Presidents silence is the attitude Of the
Democratic party. which. so far as its
leaders are concerned, seems to be COM
mitted to Mr.. Roosevelt, his measures.
and his policies No sooner was the
Presidents message made public than
Mr. Bryan hastened 10 indorse it. Sena-
tor Culberson. the Democratic leader OF
the Senate, and Representative Williams.
the Democratic leader OF the House. have
made no public criticism of Mr.. Roose-
velt's recommendations. So far as we
know. neither has any other Democrat OF
influence in the organization.
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10

The House Of God hath many and many 4 room,
Yet none We reckon save his rOom Of Life.
Wherein VIC dwell to-day and mar with strife
And bitterness the fabrics Of His loom
Strange. how We hate the door men call a tomb,
And gather close TO speak with angIished breath
OF them who cToss its threshold unto Death
As passing 10 inmemorial doom
How shall We fear Gods house, not fearing Hing
Surely He hath not fashioned prisons grin
Where he would hide MS ike child at night
Sobbings for one beloved 10 bring the lightl
Nay- but a lafger room Of God they tread
With Soundless feet. Our Brothers Of the Dead
Emery Pottle, IN Unclc Remas Magazine.
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10
CAPITOL GOSSIP.

Senator Philan-
der Chase Knox
was driving a
friend from the
railroad station 10
his farm at Valley
Forge, when an
incident occurred
which called TO
mind a certain
passage fro m
Pope's Essay on
Man. The visitor
quoted the lines.
and Senator Knox,
much 20 the sur
prise OF his guest.
took II UP. and
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10
oklahoma Appreciated.

Prom the savannah News
Oklahoma is all right She is American.
Her legislature is being loaded down with
about as many fool bills as are intro
duced In the Georgia legislature at each
session.
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10
Mostly Republicans.

From the st. Louis Post-DisTatch.
The reassembIing Of the United Stales
Senate has necessitated a further rear
rangement OF the Democratic side. -
which is now occupied chiefly by Repub-
licang
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10

There would also be more money in
circulation If the late jamestown Expo
stion would pay its debts" says the
Bristol Herald-Courier. Also If the Stand
ard OIL Company would pay It's fine
which is quite as likely 70 happen.
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10
Why Not the Big STICK {

Prom the PittShIrg Disratch
With no sympathy for the disposition
in some quarters TO knock Roosevelt. we
agree that an energetic blue pencil might
have been valuable in condensing a vel
luminous annual message.
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10

An extraordinary session Of the LOuisi-
ana legislature has reduced the daily
expense account Of the State about 81. 900
This at once classes IL as the most ex-
traordinary session of any legislature
ever held under the sun.
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10

Mr.. Arthur Balfour recently delivered
himself OF q sentence 30 words in length
and devoid of punctuation marks He
should be a great hand at fashioning
hypothetical questions in criminal pro-
ceedings.
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10

It is said that a certain cheap grade of
whisky is made from rags. We suppose
Il requires a very small quantity CT II
to make the landscape resemble a crazy
quilt
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10
THAT'S what Congress Hopes.

From the Detroit News
We have no solution TO offer for the
present money crisis. but we begin TO
suspect that it is daily solving Itself.
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10

Fortunately, Tom WatsOns financial
conference with the President was not re-
flected in the message" says the Mil
waukee Sentinel. When you contemplate
the fact that the conference was not held
until week after the message had been
read in Congress, Il isn't altogether
strange, is il?
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10

"On which side of the COW should the
mixer sit2' inquiries some one whose
business it is to ask such things. Per-
haps il would not be amiss to suggest
the outside
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10

From the Milwaukee Sentinel.
Andrew Jackson has been dead so long
that quite a few people now venture to
speak respectfully OF a United states
bank.
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10

A New Jersey man ate thirty-four ham
sandwiches at one sitting; and still, we
presume, he would have denied at the
finish that there was anything OF the
hog in his makeup.
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10

a number Of people would like TO know
what will happen if IL comes 90 a question
in the Republican convention Of a first
term for Gov. Hughes or a third term
for President Rooscvelt.
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10
YouthfuIneSS.

From the Atlanta Constitution
We agree with Brother Carnegie that a
man feels young at seventy-if he is in
possession Of good, healthy appetite,
and Sle0cOo.o 900.
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10

From the Houston Post
We confidently expect 10 witness the
Atlanta Constitution contending for re-
foam. not refawfn. before 1sOS ends.
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10

Secretary Taft enjoyed his stay in
Russia, and was quite at his ease with
the Gar" says a cable. Why should he
not have been at his ease? That was not
his first experience with an "autocrat, %
was it?
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10

The mayor OF Atlanta has organized a
Smile Club" Is it to be provided with
those lockers that are fashioned TO
make glad the hearts Of the thirsty in
prohibition settlements?
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10

You could hear pin drop in any part
of New York City yesterday" says the
Herald of Monday. Pin drops. pin drops
everywhere. but not drop to drink.
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10

1T Is foolish 10 hoard money" says
Mr.. Bryan. thereby causing a number OF
people TO look as foolish as possible and
others 10 feel So
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
FILIER.

A playwright never writes play.
No, dear me, SUI.
And you're mistaken II you say
A playwright does.
He only writes the stuff. dear heart.
To wedge the specialties apart.
An author doesn't write a book
To gain his fame.
hope that you viii not. gadzook.
Make such n claim.
An author merely fills those gaps
Left vacant by the artist chaps.
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10

ability might live to a ripe Old age In
some dime museum II K permitted it's
talent TO be known in time.
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10

"A great many lunatics read my
verses. says Ella Wheeler Wilcox Poor
things: doubtless il they never had they
wouldn't be lunatics
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10

Gustav. Sweden's new King. should lose
as little time as possible arranging 70
protect himself against the Mrs Van
ClaUssen' 's-gOwn peril
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10

Chancellor Day refuses to talk" says
a headline in a contemporary. Doubtless
he IS able to prove an alibI. however
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10

Flirting with danger is a FOOLS occu-
patton" says the Baltimore American.
Oh, well. perhaps. when one has been
hard hit; but recovery is usually effected
between summer girl seasons.
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10

Some one objects that the President
uses the personal pronoun ~ too often
IN his public utterances. Il seems that he
just can't make his 'Ts" behavel
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10
A GsrI,s Lunch.

Macaroons and ice cream! You OF yht
TO eat something more substantial for
luncheon. Grace
Il guess I ought Waiter. add some
mixed pickles to that order
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10

''The Oldest chorus girl In the profess
sion is about to retire" SAYS a theatrical
exchange As rule, they have 10 be
mighty old before they show a retiring
disposition.
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10
A Smart Man.

"Jinks is a man Of unusual intelli-
gence
Think so?"
Il dc. His views in general are very
like my own"
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10

There is no place on earth like Heav-
enly Houston" says the Houston Post;
just as though anybody ever suspected
otherwise.
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10

"He hasn't asked me what I want for
Christmas"
"Wen?"
Shall 1 drop him?"
"A hint? Yes"
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10

challenge the attention of legislators and
statesmen" and invites the attention Of
Congress 10 the practical effect Of exist
ing exclusion legislation upon important
trade interests in the Orient. He believes
the present an opportune time for reach
ing q better understanding with China on
the immigration question.
Every consideration here presented as
bearing on the subject of Chinese immi-
grafton IS equally applicable to Japanese
immigration. Inasmuch as Japan has
given verbal pledge to this government
10 keep all Japanese laborer, from going
to America. the probability is that the
administration will throw the weight of
its. influence against Japanese exclusion
legislation; but il Is apparent that Sec
retary Straus has laid down the only prin-
ciple upon which such legislation could
be made acceptable to Japan. With the
growth Of Chinese nationality, II VIII be
increasingly difficult to maintain the op-
posite principle Of racial exclusion-ad-
herence to which, as Secretary Straus
says, has cost US half our export trade
with China In the last two years. Mr.
Straus has given US all something TO
think about in the matter OF our rela-
ticns with the peoples OF the Orient
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10

A writer in a Norfolk paper advises the
remaining turkeys not to crow too loud
before the Christmas holidays are over. -
Nevertheless, turkey with growing
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10

Now that good old butterunilk has been
shown to be a villain in disguise. we do
hope the wise men among the fOodolo-
gists will let US have some peace.
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10

We can't see why Chicago isn't as nice
a location as Kansas City IN which 10
have greatness thrust upon one.
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10
Wa.hinrtoo vaudeviIIe.

We'll, Congress holds The boards
again"
Yes; but even Congress makes duh
chaser to a sensational murder trial.
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10

Speaker Cannon is now the only thing
left standing between. the Appalachian
Forest Reserve and its successful accom-
plishment," says the Chattanooga Star.
That only thing Is very happy; he is
pretty much the "only thing and "the
whole thing" out on Capitol Hill
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10
sturdy Ted.

They're blaming you FOR the hard
times. sire
We'll. it's a part Of the business. I got
the credit for the good times. didn't IT,
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10

cannot get my bon mots out
AT rapid rate
I'm good at repartee about
An hour too late.
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10
The Next Plea,

Now. Miss Floroaora. why did you
shoot the man?"
Because
That's our case. gentlemen Of the
jury"
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10

Richmond Times-pispatch: eat the
same time muses. The Washington
Herald. 'it cannot be denied that our
eagle is old enough TO wear pants" The
salient point here. however, is as 10
whether Il is level-headed enough to go
around at night without its motto on.
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10

AN intellectual woman is the smartest
thing in the world said Thomas L. Nc
Golrick. a private detective. of Chicago.
at the Raleigh last night. we have
women in Chicago. who can as readily
go out IN the street and pick out thieves
as the best man in the employ Of the
city. We find that women are the most
careful students Of detective stories.
methods employed by crooks. and char
acteris:ics OF these gentry. Inquire at
book stores and you viii find that the
detective works OF A Conan Doyle, Alex
ander Dumas. and others have their
best sale among women. Women detec-
tiyes are an absolute necessity 20 all we'll
regulated detective divisions They are
sent out on cases in which a man IN
most instances would be hopeIessly lost
In the days when Bill Elmore and
were doing street work in PittsbUrg,
remember we had a number Of women
thieves TO look after and I am not
ashamed 10 say that after getting the
right DOPE we have been bluffed out
OF 1t. Yes. sir. actually bluffed Now.
had il been a man We were after. do you
think that would have occurred2 No man
that ever lived 2an approach a stylishly
dressed woman criminal with the same
assurance as a bright. nervy woman
The women understand one anotheT's
characteristics. repeat that women. in
my opinion, are the best detectives
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10

The Washington Herald is deltVered bg
carrier IN the District Of Columbia and at
AlerandriG, Va, at s. ceats per month,
daily and Sunday, OF at 25 cents per
month ICithOut the Sunday iSSae.
The Washington herald., 1907-12-10

Telephone Main $780, CPriva's Branch Elehaas.)
The Ordway new era., 1907-06-07

The business men of Pueblo are
making tour through the Arkansas
Valley in autos. Forty firms are rep:
resented in the bunch and it is called
the original and only Auto Trade EX-
cursion. On the down trip the follow
ing towns will be Visited: Avondale,
Fowler, Manzanola, Rocky Ford,
Swink, La Junta, Las Animas, La
mar, Granada and Holly. AS usual,
the best is saved for the last and Ord
way will be visited on the return trip.
The Ordway new era., 1907-06-07

Chas. Baker returned Sunday from
California in time to accompany Mrs.
Baker to Pueblo and back Monday.
He visited Lower California, where ne
found the temperature from 90 to ilo
ia the shade. Friends told him they
were sorry the weather was 80 COOL
during his stay with them, ana
thought the mercury would rise before
long. San Francisco was visited % %
the return and he reports tue devas' %
tation something lnconceivable. Howe !!
Or ruins line every street enq ple
earth stlll shows signs u ne npsf ssa.s 4
Nr. Baksr thibkS M ~ / tllse Y Y ~ ~
jattcd u III upbg dihe st atl " sae. sa!a.