Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1907-04-13

because sunshine came instead. The
government would have trouble In the
bureau all the time II this
sort of thing were to become epidemic.
Prominent among those who viii not
be present ut the next distribution Of
Carnegie medals 70: bravery will be-
found the captain of the Laichnnont
The late Stanford Whites signature.
which has been reproduced recently.
looks like a goOscberry bush that has
been struck by lightning.
~lSeA
\ French scientist has discovered
that insects have no minds. WHAT'S
the matter with the insectsI Do they
smoke cigarettes?
~e1A
One of the qucerest things about u
woman II the way she thinks you
couldn't help liking certain things she
cooks If you really loved her.
~e6A
The Bishop OF london says married
men are Drawer than bachelors. or
course they are. There wouldn't Ike any
bachelors II every man had proper
amount Of grit.
A Western undertaken advertlscs cut
rates In collins and concludes with the
cheerful advice: "Now IL the time to
de- Isn't this humor Just killing?
II those scientific persons can't agree
what kind Of fruit was Eve gave Adam
would they consider u suggestion TINT
1t might have been Zen Davis apple
Mr.. Hartman says III successful man
has no chance these days" Truly. there
does not seem to he much of the elc
ment OF chance In the little game MI
Hartman plays.
~c9A,
Although there Is u possibility Of ou'
getting into communication with Mars
1t IL not likely that we will ever be abl'
to borrow an occasional hOd Of Goa
from there during fuel famine.
<6A
Everybody knows how to he good
but large number of people are un
able to see that It pays.
~oA
1t IL unfortunate that the Ohio Rive
has no Salton Sink to spill over int
about once u year.
1t looks rs though the powers woul'
have to take Bandit Ralsuli of to sOm'
quiet wOodshed and apply the paterna
shingle.
The voice OF labor II sometimes TIN
voice of common sense, as, for example
when 1t says 10 stagc-struck girls
Don't"
%e2A
wealth leads To idlencss and sin.
declares John u, Rockefeller, Jr. Per
haps the Standard oil Company In
during all these years been actuatc
by altruls,ic motives only.
%ac~
\ st. Louis girl who was married o
! New Years eve was kissed by 400 pee
pie. 1t will be shame II she neve
, has any grandchildren to whom to te
the thrilling story.
%e>>
That thief who stole $1,000 worth {
I.amonds from the Queen of Greec
must have been slippery customer
~~
Unless 1t is soon discovered VIII;
has become OF the freight cars of til
: glorious country, every honest man wi
feel like stepping up ana asking TIN
he be searched
Perhaps, after all, Governor Swe
4 ,?nham merely wanted to advertise Il
? a. !arior quality of Jamaica ginger.
: ~eA
When a woman will travel 10000
10000 miles TO marry or to fight u
vorce the matrimonial Institution Is 4
from desuetude.
AS>
4 hen pecked Manitoba man In Z
face, and he is dying of blood poiso
Ing. Most hcnpecked men get 1t in t
neck and survive
AsksFA
! An Austrian military officer has WI
ten n pamphlet In which he express
Z the opinion that 1t would be compar
lively easy for Japan to smash thin
on our Pacific coast. While 1t won
I be foolish to ignore the dangers
Q which our Pacific coast might be G