Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1907-07-08

homely illustra-
tons. Perhaps II would be just as
well not 20 seek for many other re-
semblances. but In witty remarks and
pat anecdotes ex-Secretary Shaw does
approach the great war president.
Here is a sample Of the aptness Of his
stories:
A man went to him one day when
there was talk Of some customs frauds
in New York to ask II he intended
starting an investigation.
81 knew a fellow once" said Mr..
Shaw, who hunted foxes with brass
band. IA very long and embarrass-
Ing pause, while the secretary went on
signing his MALL He didn't get any
foxes"
One day Justice Harlan of the SUI
preme court, propounded this query to
Shaw:
"Mr. Secretary, what Is the differ
ence between a statesman and a poll
tician?"
Quick as thought came the answer:
ITS the difference between the
young man seeking position and the
boy looking for a job"
A friend Of the family once remark
ed 10 the secretary:
MRS. Shaw is so kind, isn't shef"
"KindT repeated Mr.. Shaw. Mrs.
Shaw would be kind to her own execu-
toner"
When the treasury portfolio was Of
fered to Governor Shaw, his friends, In
his presence, were specializing as to
whether he would accept or not. He
set their minds at rest by telling the
following story:
Two boys, Bill and Bob, were at the
dinner table. Some time before the
end OF the meal the pie was passed.
Bill declined to take any. saying he
was not yet ready for the dessert. Bob
helped himself to the biggest piece on
the plate and, turning to Bill, remark
ed, Bill, allus take pie when pie is
passin'.'"
The treasury department had mi
nor employee named Mike, who went
on periodical sprees. But he was con-
sidered Indispensable, SO was taken
back each time. Mr.. Shaw learned Of
this and asked the delinquents imme
date superior, what would you do Il
h Mike were deadr "Oh, l suppose We
would have to straighten out things
ourselves" "Well, so far as this de
partment is concerned, Mike is dead
So begin and straighten."
When he was secretary he always
wanted to help people If he could, but
much as he desired to assist one WON
an to a position, he saw 1t was impos
sible.
ct tell you how II is, my good WON
an" he said finally, I'm always will
ing to climb tree for anybody, but
couldn't climb q creased pole to pleas
my mother. 1 want to help you, but
simply can't do it."
Senator Depew once raised a grea
laugh at a London banquet by quotin
the following poem as coming fror
Shaw's pen:
go ask papa" the maiden said.
He knew that her papa was dead.
He also knew the life he'd led
And understood her when she said
go ask papa"
Englishmen are said to be slow
seeing a joke, but even they caught O
to the girls polite method of telling a
unwelcome sutton to go to the inferni
regions.
When Shaw was governor, he WI
one day making a speech in which
was often interrupted by one man
the audience This individual butte
In once too often. In an unhappy m
ment he broke in with Pardon N
but
Before he could finish the govern
replied: We'll, I've pardoned 10
worse fellows than you in my tim
and l presume it would be unjust
draw the line here"
The fellow sat down, and during Il
remaining two hours of the adore
there were no more interruptions.
Governor Shaw once addressed
letter TO his wife as follows.