davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30

In recent proceeding to show that
a certain New Yorker was unable to
care for his property by reason of ex-
cessive indulgence in drink 1t was
shown that he consumed seven high.
balls daily. A member of the sher-
iff's jury called to consider the case
thereupon remarked: Il know some
men on this jury who take double that
number. and who do not suffer from
insanity. toxic. or any other kind 1t
is hardly necessary to say that the
case was continued by the complain
ants that evidence more convincing 10
that jury might be found
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30
Largest Counties in America.

The two largest counties in the
United States are Custer county. Mon
tana. and San Bernardino county. Cal
ifornia. Each Of these is little more
than 2, 10 square miles in extent
and the states of Massachusetts,
Rhode Island, Delaware and New Jer-
sey could be put inside the boundaries
of either of them.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30

Eyes, SIR" said the man in Cell I'll,
"time was when | was admitted to the
very best houses"
"And what brought you here?"
"They caught me coming out. -
PHILADELPHIA Inquirer.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30

Mrs. Justwed ION the honeymoon)-
Why, understood that you were
wealthy,
Mr.. Justwed-I was conned into
thinking your father was very rich.
Mrs. Justwed-Shall we get d.
vorce?
Mr.. Justwed--No; let's fall in love
Just for spite.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30

An English professor has been tell
ing San Francisco that pigs have
souls. II this comes to the ears OF the
packing trust an effort will be made
to can them. The trust lets nothing
escape knowingly.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30

A Paris scientist has succeeded. he
claims. in producing lifo in sea urch-
ms by means Of chemicals. The non.
scientific world is Lhuddering q
Thanksgiving that he did not select
mosquitoes for his yivifying expert
ments.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30

A scientist In Denmark has discop-
cred that when people weep they shed
germs. 1t canpot be said that in this
another Illusion is gone. for 1t will
take more than mere science to con
vince womankind that there is more
harm than benefit in a good cry"
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30

1t was at an amateur concert
THAT girl" said the envious maid,
mas a voice like seventeen-year To-
cust!'
YES" rejoined the smart youth, but
as a singer the locust is more satisfac-
tory. 1t only appears once in seven
teen years'-Chicago News.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30

Those kisses you sold me yesterday
are hard and STALE" growled custo-
mer at the candy counter. Il thought
you claimed to keep only fresh can
dies"
1--WE do generally" replied the fair
saleslady. Those must have come
from an old batch. '-Lippincotts.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES,

member exactly how many babies she
has killed, but she knows that the
number is more than six.
In her confession she describes in
detail how she killed the children in
such manner as to escape suspicion.
With a hatpin she pierced the skull of
the baby and injured the brain so that
death followed almost Immediately.
She is unable to give any special rea-
son beyond the statement that she
hated children and that every time she
was near one she was overcome by a
strong desire 10 kill 1t.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30

Instruments attached TO unnamed
balloons have recorded. say German
scientists. that it is warmer over the
poles than 1t is over the equator. II
may be that the equator keeps all the
heat going for the surface. but proof
of the assertion is necessarily all in
the air
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30

Possibly detectives in this coun-
try do not use DISCUSSES because no
body would suspect most of them OF
being detectives unless it was an
nounced
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30
Always a sriqht Side,

Batcheller-I suppose it's mighty ex-
pensive to have your child sick in bed
so long.
Phamley-Yes, but then if he were
well and hearty he'd be wearing out
Clothes
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30

A story comes from the Lehigh val
ley of a man who by playing Irish
airs can scare snakes away. 1t is diff
fcult to tell whether this story is a
knock at the playing musical ability
of the gentleman or a tribute to the
good taste of the snakes.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30

A distinct advance in Dental Science.
Loose and falling teeth saved. Pyor-
rhea and all diseases of the gums cured
Missing teeth replaced without plates
or bridgework. Booklet Free. The Rex
Dental Co, Suites 2O-25. 12s 10TH ST.
Denver Colorado.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30

Comes Sir Thomas and says that II
the Americans will not race small
boats he will send large one. He
does not propose to stand on a mere
matter OF size.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30

Mrs. Hetty Green Is at liberty to
think anything she likes about high
finance. Most Of us never will have
the chance for anything more than a
theoretical knowledge of it. so we
can't contradict her.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30

The king of Spain, II is said, has
been cured of snoring. but the man
who occupies the berth just across the
aisle from You in sleeping car is a
hopeless case.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30

That operation on King Alfonso
seems to have been beneficial in more
ways than one. Because of 1t he has
been compelled to cut down his daily
cigarette ration.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30

Lightning in Connecticut struck the
nest of setting hen and Matched out
two chickens. Evidently the nature
taking thrives on attempts to put it
down.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30

New York's board of education is
considering the results which have
come from abolishing whipping in the
public schools. 1t should reflect that
the average schoolboy was not a
model of goodness even in the days
when the rod was freely applied.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30

John d. Rockefeller is said to han
die very little actual money. 1t would
be a great hardship for him to be
obliged to count IL all himself.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30

The people of India are growing
somewhat tired of being governed by
England at their expense.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30

Malice. envy and hate pursue the
good and great
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30

Pittsburg is having plague of
Bnails. And yet the rest Of the world
has been given to understand that the
Smoky City is nothing, IL not rapid.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30

An English doctor declares that
modesty is disease. We know lot
of people who have been vaccinated.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30

Sir Thomas Upton has altered his
challenge to suit criticism. He seems
TO be willing to lose again any old
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30

Notoriety and fame are twin sisters
of eccentricity.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30

A girl never likes to be kissed un-
less she says she doesn't.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30
Six Babies Slain With Hatpin.

Berlin.-The people of Munich are
Mortified at the discovery that a girl
of IA has committed a number Of muir
ders.
The name OF the young criminal is
Ida Schnell. She is now under arrest
and has confessed. It was her habit
to accept a position as nurse. and i'm
mediately after having taken the posi-
lion she would kill the baby In her
charge. She says she does not re-
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30

Working and loafing are habits and
IT is difficult to quit either.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30
Autoist Who Killed Man Is Indicted.

Newark, N. 1.-The grand jury to-
day indicted Walter N. Norris. whose
automobile ran into and killed Marcus
S. Jacobs. the theatrical manager.
about three weeks ago in Newark.
Manslaughter is charged.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30

The fame of most men is but a self
blown bubble.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30

Never laugh at the expense of vir-
tue.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30

No dog ever got fat on hay no mat
ter how long he stuck to the manger.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30

Sleep and death are twins of rest.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-10-30

Familiarity often ends in disgust.
The state herald., 1907-11-29

tions. | was in the house restaurant
one day taking lunch with several
other members of the committed
After lunch | offered TO buy cigars all
around and stepping up to the cigar
counter picked out box of large
cigars that looked good and told the
boys 10 help themselves. fully cx.
pected to pay so cents for three of
them. at least. and was greatly sur.
prised when ! called for the bill and
found 1t was only 80 cents for 12-six
for quarter cigars.
Il naturally made no outward com.
ment about the cheapness of my pur.
chase and inwardly hoped that no o,h.
er member knew what had done
In fact. was greatly embarrassed
and kept weather eye on the whole
party, expecting somebody to become
sick any minute. We wandered back
to the committee room and sat there
smoking several minutes before
Uncle Joe came In.
When he did finally Join us /, OF
course. instantly pronered him one
of the cigars. He took II and WIS
soon wrapped In silence and cigar
smoke. Presently he turned TO mo
and said: Jim. this is certainly rne
cigar. one of the best ever smoked.
Where did you get them? | told him
downstairs In the restaurant Calling
the committee messenger 10 him. he
handed him crisp new one dollar
bill and told him TO get dollars
worth of the same brand for him. You
can readily imagine how he looked
when the messenger came back with
whole box full"
The state herald., 1907-11-29
Mo Need For Alarm.

A. Barton Hepburn. at the conven
tion of the American Bankers Asso.
citation al Atlantic City. said OF Ger.
tain argument:
But that argument fails TO cheer.
On the contrary. II fills us with gloom
and foreboding. 1t is like the cry,
intended TO be reassuring. that came
to the farmer across the turnip field.
"A farmer. on n frosty autumn af-
ternoon, went out into his turnip field
and began to gather turnips. The
early sun sank in the west, and us the
blush dusk came on, the farmer per.
ceiyed, at the other end of the field,
two men who, laying down n bag, be.
gan to dig with frantic haste.
"The farmer watched the pair in
some perplexity. What could they be
doing? And he was just putting his
hand to his cheek TO shout and ask
them their business, when one of them
rose up and yelled. loudly and re,
assurinrly:
Don't let us disturb you; we are
only prigging a few ourselves
The state herald., 1907-11-29
One Of the
Essentials

Of the happy homes Of to-day is a vast
fund Of Information as to the best methods
Of promoting health and happiness and
right living and knowledge OF the worlds
best products.
Products Of actual excellence and
reasonable claims tru,hfully presented
and which have attained TO worldwide
acceptance through the approval Of the
wcll.lnformcd Of the World; not Of indi-
yiduals only. but Of the many who have
the happy faculty Of selecting and obtain.
Ing the best the world affords.
One Of the products Of that class, Of
known component parts, an Ethical
remedy. approved by physicians and COM
mended by the wcll.lnformcd Of the
worldas n valuable aud wholesome family
laxative Is the wcll.known Syrup Of Figs
and Elixir Of scnna. To get It's beneficial
effects always buy the genuine, manu-.
faetured by tho California Fig Syrup Co,
only. and for sale by all leading druggists.
The state herald., 1907-11-29
BABY iTcHED TERRIBLY.
Face and Neck Covered with lnfiamed
Skin-Doctors No Avail-Cured
by Cuticura Remedies.

"My baby's face and neck were cov-
cred with itching skin similar to ecze-
ma, and she suffered terribly for over
a year. / took her to number Of doc
tors, and also to different colleges, to
no avail. Then Cuticura Remedies
were recommended TO me by Miss c..
did not use 1t at first, as / had tried
so many other remedies without any
favorable results. At last tried Cuti-
cura Soap. Cuticura Ointment and
Cutlcura Resolvent Pills, and to my
surprise noticed an Improvement.
After using three boxes OF the Cuti-
cura Ointment. together with the Soap
and Pills. l am pleased to say she Is
altogether different child and the
picture Of health. Mrs. A. c. Brestlin.
III N. Lincoln St. Chicago. ILL.,. Oct.
20 and so, 1906"
The state herald., 1907-11-29
One Of MANY,

An Atchison woman started out TO
buy her fall hat First she visited
the openings and looked and looked.
Then she took friend and went
around to the millinery stores and
tried on" again. saying. OF course,
that her hair looked perfectly ter
rible." Then she went home and
thought and thought, and. finally.
went back to the stores and tried
on" once more; and thought. and
thought. and then bought a hat which
is so grotesque and hldeous that her
relatives and friends blush with
shame every time they see her wear
II. and strangers stare at her, wonder
Ing what kind OF courage It takes to
wear such looking hat. But she
did the best she could.-Atchison
tkan) Globe.
The state herald., 1907-11-29
Training the Berssulieri.

men In this famous force are subject.
cd TO II OF the most extraordinary
character.
Every one OF the many drills In
physical exercises has been Devised
with the sole idea OF making the men
In the corps nimblo. quick and daring
They arc known aA "Tho Black Devils
of the Italian Army" and date from
1886. whom they were organized In tho
Sandman army by Gen In Mnrmorn.
There are ~ regiments Of the Bcrsag.
liori. aud their particular business ID
M Hharpshoot.ra.
II requires some endurance 10 bo
n member OF tho corps. for even when
they nrr used In manonycrH the tao.
teal movement In nearly always made
In the mountains. where their eser.
eiaeA IN yaultlns. turning somoraaul,s
and walking groauy poles stand ,hcm
In good stead.
In tho picture they nfo shown climb.
lng poles with their bicycles strapped
10 their backs The wheels used ara
specially designed for their work, be-
lng 30 arranged that they can be fold
cd and thus more easily carried on d
march across difficult mountain passes
where bicycle riding would bo inpoa
Hiblc The corps In particularly mo
bile and. being composed Of excellent
markHmen. In particularly valuabl,
asset Of King Victor Emmanuel's army
The state herald., 1907-11-29
WOMAN KNEW HUMAN NATURE.
Personal Experience Counted In Her
Endorsement Of New Pastor.

A Philadelphia congregation was
called upon not long ago to choose a
pastor. The last three ministers had
been persona non grata with most of
the parishioners; and before selecting
another the congregation did some
pretty hard thinking. There was one
woman of experience whose voice car
ried particular weight. Preacher after
preacher was invited to the pulpit for
a trial sermon, and all. in the final
analysis, were rejected by the female
arbiter. At last there came along a
possible incumbent who met with her
approval.
THE reason am sure he will give
satisfaction" she said, 'is because he
has the right kind of wife for a
minister. She allows him to rant
around all he wants at home and
doesn't sass back. found out a long
while ago-shortly after / was mar
ried myself, in fact-that man who
hasn't that privilege at home works
OFF his spleen elsewhere. A minister
vents it on his congregation. That
was why we couldn't stand the last
preacher. This one will be all right.
We won't hear peep out Of him"
And upon that unique recommends
tion the congregation really did give
the man a call. According to last ac-
counts both he and the congregation
were doing well. The wife has not
been heard from.
The state herald., 1907-11-29
.HERK|MER IN BRONZE
STATUE OF GENERAL RECENTLY
ERECTED IN NEW YORK STATE.
Revolutionary Hero Once More on Bat
tlefield Of Oriskany-Is Shown
with Pipe in Hand Direct
ing His Forces.

Herkimer N. Y.-The bronze statue
Of Gen. Nicholas Herkimer of revolu-
tionary fame which has recently been
erected here represents the general.
with his leg shattered by bullet,
seated on the stump of tree direct
Ing the American forces in the battle
of Oriskany. The sculptor is Burr c..
Miller. The piece was on exhibition
In the salon in Paris this year and
was the only one of 400 pieces in
bronze to receive honorable mention
Gen. Herkimer was at the head of
500 hastily recruited militiamen and
volunteers, most of them his friends
and neighbors, who set out in July,
l777. to take relief to Col. Gansevoort
and his $50 followers in Fort Schuy-
ler St Leger's forces had marched
up the st. Lawrence on the Canadian
side, crossed over at Oswego and, pass
ing through the Mohawk valley, were
investing the fort. st. Leger's forces
consisted of 500 white men and 1000
Indians, the latter under the command
OF the 1aUlOuS bIdHl, Hedu VI lic oiA
Nations.
Gen. Herkimer sent word to Col.
Gansevoort of the relief that was COM
ing and asked that sortie be made
from the fort when the relieving forces
came up, so that the enemy's attention
might be distracted.
When he got near the fort Gen.
Herkimer waited for the signal from
Gansevoort. 1t didn't come, and his
young recruits began to chlde him for
the delay. He refused at first to risk
the sacrifice of life which he knew an
advance with his 500 men would en-
tail
He continued TO wait but the re.
marks of some of his officers and sol
diers became more insulting. They
accused him finally to his face of be-
ing a coward and Tory. The end Of
It was that against his better judg
ment he gave the order to advance.
St Leger had heard of his arrival
and had sent a detachment to inter
The state herald., 1907-11-29

In South Africa, where the thunder
storms are terrific. lightning often
strikes ironstone beds, and blue flames
sometimes firing buildings-are al
Iege1 10 play about such outcrops two
or three hours after storm.
The practical limit Of deep-sea div
fng. under the best conditions, is
placed by Hill and Greenwood of the
London hospital. Mt thirty.five to forty
faihoms. special study of eight
years has shown these psychologists
that the chief danger to the diver
arises from the nitrogen absorbed by
the blood and other body fluids. and
that 1t is the absorbed nitrogen that
produces the Ill effects of rising too
quickly. The breathlessness and op-
preston felt by the working diver are
results OF poisoning by carbonic acid.
instead OF direct effects Of the great
pressure. With special air pumps and
extra precautions the experimenters
descended thirty-fve fathOms in n
scotch loch. and. rising very slowly.
were none the worse for the expert
ence. but the oxygen required for regu-
lar working at such depth is so great
IN amount that pneumonia and conyul.
sions are commonly produced.
The state herald., 1907-11-29
HerkImer Statue a, Herklmer, N. Y.

cept him. AS the militia advanced in
hasty march through wooded ravinc
near oriskany the British regulars In
ambush at the other end and the In.
dians on both sides opened fire. The
rear guard OF the Americans was cut
OF from the main body and was dis,
persed.
Early In the conflict Herkimer had
his horse shot from under him and a
little later a bullet shattered his left
leg Just below the kneo, When his
friends urged him to leave the field he
replied:
mo. will face the enemy"
He ordered the saddle removed from
his fallen horse and had II placed ON n
stump near by. Seated on this, with
the wounded leg. which had been
hastily bandaged. hanging from one
side. he issued his orders and received
the reports OF his subordlnatcs.
With his friends and neighbors fall.
Ing on all Sides OF him. and suffering
agony himself. he coolly took his tin.
der box. steel and flint from his pock.
ct and III his pipe. The statue shows
him with the pipe In one hand. while
with the other he Is directing his
forces.
His coolneSs Infused new ardor Into
the men. They fell TO fighting the In.
dians and British In their own fashion
from behind rocks and trees. and
finally. aided by sally from the fort.
they forced the attacking party TO 70.
treat. About one'thlrd OF the militia
fell on the battlefield and many moro
were carried into captivity,
Ilcrkimor was carried on n litter 10
his house, 30 miles away. The ampu'
,ation .of his leg was badly done and
he died ton days later. In his last mo-
mcn,n he called for u Bible and read
90 those about him the psalm begin,
ming.
20 Lord. rebuke me not In thy
wrath. neither chanten me In thy hot
diapleabure,"
The base Of the statue II n boulder
from the battlefield Of oriHkany.
The state herald., 1907-11-29
JOKE ON "uNcLe JOE" CANNON.
Smokes Cheap Cigar Under the I'm.
preston It is a Fine One.

NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Hemenway,
of Indiana. than who there is no one
closer to Speaker Cannon, told one OF
his good stories about the speaker on
his recent visit to Washington.
"The speaker prides himself on his
ability to pick out good cigar" said
the senator. "In fact, his own great
weakness is for good cigar and he
will spend % cents for cigar any
day and economize by buying cheap
hat. Back in the fifty-seventh con-
gress, when Mr.. Cannon was chairman
of the house committee on appropria.
The state herald., 1907-11-29
This Gray Old World.

A certain young man was once per
mlttod TO make the world over to suit
himself the world and nil that In II
was.
And when he was done. ho stood
back and surveyed his work and ox.
claimed "a paradiRci All. truly. u
parndlHel"
liut at the end of n week he WAS
found dead and the verdict " tho
coronor'H Jury was that he had been
bored 10 death Puck.
The state herald., 1907-11-29

A new directory by the Royal Oh
servatory of Belgium shows that there
are 1856 astronomers and somewhat
over $50 observatories in the world
or the observatories. more than 100
are in the British Isles. with nearly
a. many in the United States, the
number in other countries being much
smaller.
The state herald., 1907-11-29
important to Mothers. J.
A Delicate Task

"The newspapers" said the orator
solemnly, do not tell the truth"
Perhaps not" answered the editor,
regretfully. 1--WE do our best. But you
know there is nothing more difficult
than to tell the truth in a way that
won't put it up to some one to chal.
lenge your veracity."
The state herald., 1907-11-29

Two deaf mutes We're conversing.
well. said the first mute, philoso-
phically, I'VE all have our troubles"
"How true that is, said the second.
II have to tie my wife's hands every
night so she won't talk in her sleep"
The state herald., 1907-11-29
Asthmatics. Read This.

II you are afflicted with Asthma
write me at once and learn OF some.
thing for which you will be grateful
the rest OF your life. Rev. J. II. RAIDER.
S22 Broadway. Denver. Colo.
The state herald., 1907-11-29
Slow Growth Of Oyster.

When an oyster is n fortnight old
1t is not much larger than the head
of a pin. At the end of four years
growth 1t is fit for the table.
The state herald., 1907-11-29

Every man has his appointed day
and way: life is brief and irrevoca-
bic. but II is the work OF virtue to ex-
tend your fame by your deeds
Virgil
The state herald., 1907-11-29

FITS, st. Vitus Dance and all Nervous
Diseases permanently cured by Dr. Kline's
Great Nerve Restorer. Send for Free 500
trial bottle and treatise. DIR. r. II. Kline,
Id, 93l Arch ST., Philadelphia, Pa.
The state herald., 1907-11-29
ITALIAN SOLDIERS ARE AGILE.
Members Of Famous Bersaglieri Re,
quire Great Endurance.

Romc.-The fame OF the Italian Ber.
saglieri is by no means confined to the
Italian peninsula. The training tho