davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1907-01-03
TWO OLD FOOLS
BY J. A. TIFFANY

lastingly knock the nourishment out of !
this fine gentleman Claude.
mo. ! guess it's all over between
you and me, Miranda. | don't think
we can ever live together after this.
But I'll do the right thing by you, Mira
You shall have the old place and $4,000
in cash. That'll leave me ample for
my needs. And | don't think SIS, 900 is
enough, either You have done as
much as l have, Mira, toward saving
what we've got I'll make it $4,000
Nobody shall say as I'm stingy. Well,
there isn't much for me to do around
here, now. All that's left is to square
accounts with Claude and Mira. Then,
this old man for Dawson"
At last it seemed that Miras pa
tience had given out. Hiram looked
at his watch as she got up and started
for the by-road where he imagined she
had left DObbin tethered. BY the light
of the full moon Hiram saw that it was
half past nine. He got up, too, and
noiselessly followed Mrs Lamson,
pushing his bicycle along before him
Just as Mira was about to step into
the wagon, f1lTdIl, WHO udu reached
her side unobserved, said:
LET me help you, wife. ] guess I'll
load my wheel into the wagon and
we'll drive home together"
"Where have you been skull1ing
Hiram Lamson?" Mira demanded
wrathfully, and where's that Jezebe
as YOU came out here to meet"
''Now, Mira" said Hiram, quietly bu
firmly, 1.-THE jealousy racket doesn't sc
in this family any longer. It's played
out. You're the only woman | came
here to see. But l was expecting ;
man. Where's Claude, Mira? ?"
"Claude!" Miranda echoed in dis
gusted tone. 81 don't know nothing
about no Claudes. What | want t.
know is-Where's Clementina, an
who is she?"
"Clementina! Gosh sakes, Miranda
has it got so bad as that? Have yo
allowed your jealousy to carry you s
far that you're actually suffering loco
nations"
4 ''Now, Hiram Lamson, said Mira,
= brisk, business-like tone, whic
! showed that her mind was not gravel
! affected; before ever / go back
D your house again. or even put my foo
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1907-01-03
Winter WatermeIons.

Winter watermelOns are the latest
novelty offered by the high-priced
fruiterers. They come from Colorado,
and attain their growth so late that
they are just now on the market.
They are costly, rather pale in color,
both as to their exterior green and
fheir interior pink, and have no par.
tucularly strong taste of any kind.
They have found place on the menus
of the fashionable restaurants, how
ever and may soon vie in popularity
with the alligator pear-Chlcago
American.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1907-01-03

in that wagon, l want an explanation,
right here-this very minute. Who is
Clementina, and what business have
you got with her at this time o night,
when honest folks is abed?"
81 don't know what you're talking
about, Mira-I've no more idea than
next years pumpkin. But I'd like to
know if this is what you call attend
ing revival meeting. I'd also like 10
know who Claude is?"
ITO the tater-bugs wi Claude!" was
Mira's impatient exclamation. But
when you get love-letters from your
Clementinas, Hiram Lamson, you
should be more careful than to drop
EN- around in the dairy. Now, read
that letter, and then tell me you never
heard of Clementina!"
Mira took a piece of paper from her
bosom and handed it to Hiram, who
managed to read by the light of the
moon:
Dear Hi-You have broken my
heart, but l will go away and bear my
sorrow in silence You will never see
me again on earth, unless you come to
the blasted oak in Lovers lane at half
past eight tonight. Yours, though
may not call you mine.
"Clementina."
Hiram scratched his head for mo
ment in perpleXity, then slapping his
thigh caught Mira up in his arms anc
kissed the astonished woman before
she could offer resistance.
, why, old girl" he said, somebody
been fOOling us both. | got a lette
pretty much like that-signed with thu
name Claude as eff it was intended
l fer you. Well whoever it was wei
:, wagon and drive home and never
, word to anybody to let folks know
i what two old fools we've been tC
night"
t Half an hour later as they entere
0 the house and Hiram made ligh
d Mira exclaimed:
e Hiram Lamson there's been thieve
a here! Everything's turned upsid
down"
$ Investigation revealed losses
g money, plate and jewelry to til
o amount of $1,000.
d "Bless me, if those robbers haven
actually had the impudence to lea'
a, their cards." exclaimed Hiram.
u Lying face downward on the dinin
20 room table were two calendars whit
i had been torn down from the wall. {
the back of each name was print'
in in pencil, in large, Informed chars
n tiers:
ly "CLAUDE."
to "CLEMENTINA."
OF Copyright, 1906, by Daily Story Pub. @
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1907-01-03
OnIy One Wish Honored.

The latest arrival in. Shadeland was
very cross. What is the matter?'
blew from the lips of the shade 1oat-
ing near. 81 see,' said the cross one,
that every desire l expressed in re-.
gard to my funeral was ignored"
That's nothing" replied the old timer
in Shadeland THE only shades whose
wishes are carried out are the women
who express the desire that their hus'
bands marry again. "-Atch1son (han'J
Globe
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1907-01-03
PARROT CHASED THE CROWS

alighted on a tree for few moments
after which he returned to his home.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1907-01-03
Gather Them While We May.

A fantastic imagination and delu-
sions of childhood are the brlef ana
beautiful flowers of life.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1907-01-03

Copyright 1906, by Daily Story Pub. Co.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-19

Henning was appointed to investigate the
school question and report at the next
meeting. so as to prepare the necessary in
formation to be presented to the proper au-
thorties.
Resolutions expressing sympathy for
Senator Gallinger in his recent bereave-
ment. and expressing the appreciation of
the association for his earnest and faithful
work for the advancement Of the best In
terests of the District Of Columbia, were
adopted.
Church workers in this vicinity have
learned of the appointment Of Mr.. Elias
Anger, a member of the graduating class
at Crozier Theological Seminary, as pastor
Of the congregation which now meets at
the Baptist Mission Hall. 1t Is his fnten-
ton to conduct services here every Sunday
evening The Sunday school of the con-
gregation is in feurishing condition.
Notwithstanding the long cold spell. build
ing operations have not been wholly sus-
pended. The home of Mr.. w. G. Martin,
25th street, Mr.. Charles A. Barker, con-
tractor, is nearing completion. Ground has
recently been broken on 23d street for
new residence for which Mr.. r. ]. Jennings
Coasting on Naylor road and skating on
the river afforded the youth of Randle
Highlands splendid amusement during the
recent wintry weather.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-19
AT RANDLE HIGHLANDS.
Citizens Association Holds Meeting
Other News Matters.

At a meeting of the Randle Highlands
Citizens Association in the town hall last
evening the president, Mr.. Charles G. Rob-
inson, occupied the chair. and In the alb
sence of Mr. Charles A Barker. secretary
Mr. Mcconnell acted in that capacity. The
attendance was large, the visitors including
Mr.. David C. Fountain. secretary of the
East Washington Heights Citizens Asso-
ciation and Rev. James w. Many, who
were accorded the privilege of the floor and
took an active part in the discussions.
1t was decided to request the Commission
ers to grant the East Washington Heights
Traction Company the privilege of placing
a car at the eastern terminus OF the Capital
Traction line to be used as a waiting ROOM
Representatives of the East Washington
Heights Citizens Association strongly ad-
vised concerted action among the East
Washington associations. especially In the
matter of fire protection and water facilt-
ties for that section.
Mr.. H. T. Law was appointed to represent
the Randle Highlands Citizens Associa-
ton at a conference Of the East Washing
ton Citizens Associations to be held In the
near future. The school accommodations
were discussed. The prevailing idea seemed
to be that better school accommodations
are absolutely necessary, inasmuch as
large number Of children of the seventh
and eighth grades are compelled to. attend
either Anaco5tia the city schools. A
committee consisting of Messrs Charles A.
Barker, Robert F. Bradbury and Joseph
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-19
BENEFIT OF ATHLETICS.
Business High School Gives Elaborate
Spread Today.

An elaborate luncheon for the benefit of
the athletic association of the Business
High School, given at the school building
at 9th street and Rhode sland avenue
northwest, this afternoon from II to 2
clock. was attended by over 600 students
OF the school and guests, including a large
number from the alumni association OF the
school and other high schools of the city
The assembly hall and main corridors of
the building were deliberately decorated
with greens and bunting. and everywhere
girl students, daintily gowned as Mattresses.
did their utmost TO see that all in attend
ance enjoyed themselves to the utmost.
In the Office of Principal Allan Davis. as
well in several adjoining rooms, a num-
Der of the alumni of the school, together
with others prominent in school work of
the city, gathered and made merry about
the festal boards. The halls were crowded
with girls and boys, and everywhere the
pretty and varied bunting and other dec
orations added to the gayety Of the scene.
From tables improvised as counters pretty
young misses sold variety of delicacies.
Shortly after the noon hour DIR. William
f. Chancellor, superintendent OF schools for
the District, made his appearance. He min
and older folk for about half an hour.
The teachers OF the school did much
toward making the AFFAIR the success II
turned out to be. To-day seems just like
the Business High School of the older day"
said a graduate, and her sentiment was re-
Elected in many other statements made by
grads and ''undergrads during the
course of the affair which closed shortly
after O'Clock.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-19
CONTINUES TO REVoLVE.
Threatened Disaster to Earth Does Not
Materialize.

The disaster to the earth which was
threatened for today by the sun-spot the
orists failed to materialize. In it's stead
Washington endured a spring-like rain,
which, Prof Edward B. Garriott, the off,
cial weather forecaster, declared had no
pathological connection with the spot dis
case that has broken out on the face OF
the solar orb.
This sun-spot prophecybusiness," said
Prof. Garriott to The Star reporter, lis
the rankest kind of bosh and guess work"
He added that the present rain would dis
continue some time tonight, and tomorrow
would dawn fair and slightly cooler. There
is no cold wave in sight. and high winds
are promised along the middle and south
Atlantic coast tonight.
1t is estimated that ten different dis
asters to the earth have been predicted by
theoretical alarmists because of the big
spots on the sun. The greatest of these
was an electrical storm OF great intensity
which was scheduled for today. Admiral
Walker, superintendent Of the naval OBJ
servatory, said: "All this talk of a world
smashup or other calamity is absurd" He
added that he makes no pretensions or
knowing what effect the sun spots will have
on the earth.
Nobody knows what will take place on
account of the sun spots. and nobody
knows what they indicate" he concluded.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-19
AVERAGE STATE LEGISLATURE.
A Lot Of Bungling, Good-Hearted Am
ateurs, With q Leavening Of Crooks.

Samuel Merwin, in Success Magazine.
The legislature couldn't make one good
law in three months. let alone three thou
sand, without turning in some direction for
aid and counsel. Our well-meaning farmers
and grocerymen and manufacturers are
probably endowed with that profound ig-
norance Of basic problems which comes out
in the form of a loud contempt for
science and theory" But now they are.
in the language of the committee room, up
against 1t. They have got to make three
thousand laws in three months, without
much of an idea, In some cases, OF what
the blessed things are all about. A good
many of our farming and manufacturing
friends would really like to make good
laws; but probably not one of them is COM
petent to draw a bill that will hold to-
gether. To make 1t worse, these laws,
good or bad, will come down forcibly on
every man, woman and child in the state.
In view of this fact-that the legislature,
made up Of bungling, good-hearted anna
teurs, with q leavening OF crooks. Is bound
to turn out just about SO many laws any
way-do we citizens, the real interests"
most vitality affected by the mass of legis-
lation. take any adequate measures either
to put In ADLER men. or to supply accurate
and thoroughgoing Information as basis
for the legislation? Not at all. We send
our legislators down to the capital, and 90
on. sereneiy vague. about what we like to-
call s"our business.' The snail's on the
thorn Gods in His heaven, all's right with
the world! And meanwhile the attorneys
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-19
PATHS Burning Admirer..

From the London p. T. o.
Many stories Of Nine. Patti are still go
ing the rounds. Once in Italy card was
brought to her from a man whose name
she did not know, but who was SO very
anxious to see her that she allowed him to
be shown into her room. When the un-
known came he proved to be a little old
man who was quite red and speechless
with nervousness. Suddenly Patti noticed
smoke coming out of his coat, so without
saying a word she seized glass of water
and threw 1t over him. 1t turned out that
the old man had put his lighted cigar into
his pocket when he entered the room and
SO had set fire to his coat. Sir. said
Nine Patti IT have had many admirers
who professed themselves burning with ad-
miration for me, but / have never before
met one who went SO far, as to set himself
on fire to prove it.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-19
Entitled to It.
arpcr's Weekly.

From Harpcr's Weekly.
One of his grandma's maids of honor tells
the following story of Prince Eddie when
he was few years younger:
Just after King Edwards coronation.
when he underwent an operation for ap-
pendicitis and was lying convalescent he
sent for his grandchildren.
The little ones trooped into the room.
cautioned by their nurse that they must
keep very quiet. and stood about their
grandfather's bed. He talked with them
for a few minutes and they replied in awed
whispers Then when the nurse told them
they must go. Prince Eddie said:
But, grandpa, can't we see the babyT
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-19
LIQUOR License Application Withdraw,

Ignatius Costigan. attorney for Zen d
Co., applicants for wholesale liquor IL
cense at Mt. Pleasant and Lamont streets.
which firm was given hearing before the
District excise board last Saturday, filed
a withdrawal of the application with the
board Monday. Mr.. Costigan stated in his
withdrawal that the action was taken be-
cause of the fact that he considered 1t best
in the interests of his clients and in the
interests OF the community. However, the
withdrawal, 1t Is explained. had no bear
ing upon the action of the board in reject
ing the application. but was an expression
of assent In the decision.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-19

for the railroad and the public service"
company, and the big brewers and manu-
facturers are drawing up bills which our
farming friends don't understand, and are
crowding them through with doubtful sta
tistics and specious reasoning which our
farming friends may question, but which
they have neither the time nor the re-
sources to dispute.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-19
Virtue of the Top Hat.

From the Weekly Dispatch.
If man wears expensive clothes and
belongs to a good club. the mass Of the
nation still think it quite right that he
should have handsome income without
doing anything for it, They are still hyp-
notified by q top hat
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-19

The Portsmouth, Va. Daughters OF the
Confederacy have organized what is to
be known as a confederate choir. the object
of which Is to aid the confederate veterana
by vocal entertainments, to revive the old
war songs and to assist ct the services In
memory Of the dead. The choir will be uni
formed.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-19
True Temperance.
From Fry's Magazine.

From Fry's Magazine. y y
You may take 1t from me that sobriety
is personal matter. and that to be sober
as to alcohol. unsober as to conduct, opin-
ions. lane:uaEe, does not constitute temper
ance. True temperance is true balance.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1907-12-12
COWBOY CARNIVAL.

Call it a wild West Show, Cowboy
Carnival, or what you will, the pro-
gram of sports that will be presented
at the Baseball Park tomorrow and
Saturday deserves the support Of the
town.
Handling wild cattle involves a
great amount of fine skill, good judg-
ment, and quick action. Although
we speak of the exhibition given by
the men from the ranches as sport, it
is an everyday business in which
proficiency is of material value to the
country. The spectacular features of
roping wild steer or breaking a
wild broncho interest the crowd, and
very little more may be thought of
it after the program Is completed.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1907-12-12
INSULTING PRETENSION.

Having published one recent lie
and libel regarding the b II etin
il Is perhaps natural for the morning
paper to follow it up with a second,
in individual who has proved him
self to be utterly without honor
might be expected to pursue the ma
liciOus and viCiously false course talk
en- by an exponent of the sournilli
diet.
What an infamous pretension is 1t
that is now made, that the medium
of lie and libel is acting in the inter-
est of the Bulletin girls.
What an outrageous insult to the
girls and to the good sense of this
community.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1907-12-12

The editor of the Blu | 1T II has
not at any time requested Mr.. Logan
or any other person connected with
the Advertiser or any other paper to
leave out stories appearing in the
San Francisco papers or any other
Taper about the plight of the Ha-
waiian travellers"
On Saturday afternoon, November
90, the editor of the Bull etin
net Mr.. Logan on the street and ask
ed him If he intended to copy the
story appearing in the Star of that
afternoon to the effect that the
whereabouts of the Bulletin party
was not known. The editor of the
b Il ! e t II stated to Mr.. Logan that
the story of the evening paper was
utterly untrue, as he had received a
cablegram that afternoon ANNOUNCE
ing the arrival of the party in Seat
tie. The editor of the lletin
made no request to have the matter
kept out.
The "stowaway" story copied from
the San Francisco Chronicle had not
! cen received in Honolulu on Novem-
er 30. 1t was an absolute impos-
sibility for the editor of the b u ! e =
t ! n to request that 1t be not pub
llshed, because he did not know of its
existence. There Is not one word OF
truth in the Advertisers statement.
1t is bald lie because 1t repeats
what Is known to be false.
The incident cannot rise even to
the dignity of n misunderstanding
for the reason that there had not
been at that time any story publish
ed by a San Francisco paper received
IN this city. The stOwaway article
appeared in San Francisco under
date of Nov. 18th.
Supervisor Dwight, an uncle of
Miss BerniCc Dwight, who made the
Pacific Coast tour with the Bulletin
Girls in the States, Is greatly dis
pleased over the publication In the
Advertiser of certain story, alleged
to have been furnished by Mrs.
Dwight.
81 am more sorry than anything
else" said Dwight this forenoon, ITO
see such an article in the Advertiser,
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1907-12-12
VOtLLER No BIGAM|SI
Editor Evening Bulletin.

Editor Evening Bulletin.
Your comments of last evening con
corning my supposed ofrensc of big
amy have resulted in a still wider pub
Lefty by a similar publication in this
mornings Advertiser. As wish tC
preserve my good standing in this
community. | will thank you to pub
fish the following facts:
On April 9th 1907, ! married my
present wife. she then giving her
name as Alice Meyers. which | sup
posed to be her correct name. As
matter Of fact. however. she was then
the wife of Alfred Akana-of which
fact was entirely ignorant Very
soon thereafter, she was arrested by
the Federal authorities upon charge
of bigamy. on April 18th, a divorce
was obtained by her then husband
Alfred Akana, whereupon she and
were legally married. and her proper
name, viz: Alice Akana, was stated
in the license and record.
II will thus be seen that | am nc
hgamst, AMI that my first, supposed
marriage, although illegal. was limo
comfy entered into by me, In ignOr
ancc of the fact Of the ladys then eX
lsting marriage.
In the interval between the two Ger
emonies. my wife had been indicted
by the Federal Grand Jury upon a
charge OF bigamy, but this Indictment
was nOllc prOs'd at later date. Con
sCQuently. there is not only no charge
pending against either my wife or my
self at the present time. but there is
no occasion for any charge of any of
Tense against the marriage laws.
Yours truly.
FRED c. VOELLER.
/ Honolulu, Dec. II, 1907.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1907-12-12
RISE IN SUGAR
(continued from Page y

price, are those on the Arizonan and
the Mexican. The former vessel left
the Islands November "a with 1000
IONS Of sugar, aud the latter Novcm.
Der 80 with 5000 tons. They both went
to Salina Cruz, whence their Cargocs
will be sent across the lsthmus to
Hew York, the voyage from Honolulu
10 their destination consuming about
FIVE weeks. The result Of the rise
us 1t affects these two Cargocs alone
will mean an extra profit Of about
$50. 600
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1907-12-12
ARMY HOP At SEASIDE

Friday evening in honor of the
transport Thomas. The most expert
native dancing girl in the Islands
will give a number of ancient Ela-
waiian dances during the intermis-
cions. II the transport should get in
today the dance will be tonight.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1907-12-12

"As far as know, the y II g n
Is all right. The Advertiser, which
published such story without Civ
ing 1t fair consideration, is the cause
Of all the trouble.
Il am positive that the reporter
who interviewed Mrs. Dwight is a
representative of the Advertiser and
not of the Bul letin"
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1907-12-12

No one can be found who will adj
nit desire to be a candidate for
election as the first Mayor of Homo
lulu. But some of them must be do
ing a heap of thinking.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1907-12-12

HiO has shown the right spirit.
1t is tickled to death that its team
made such a good showing against
the Coast Spalding players. There is
40 stopping for foolish argument ov-
or what the visitors might have
done had they tried.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1907-12-12

Mrs. Longworth's forced member
ship in the no-appendiX club will
gain for her lots of sympathy during
the Initiation and lots of comfort aft
Cr II Is all over.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1907-12-12

with nearly a full regiment of
gOldicrs and three Commerce and La
Dor Commissioners at Goldheld, 1t
Will he remarkable If war of words
Is not developed speedily.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1907-12-12
IRMGARD SAILED.

The only sailing vessel that left for
San Francisco this morning was tn"
bark Irmgard. Captain christensen
took her ou' promptly at $3.50 O'Clock
with $50 tons of general cargo.
Miss White was ,hc only passenger
for San Francisco.