davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ordway new era., 1907-04-19
rnoucnr HIM a LuNATIc.
Mana Queer tumble OF Words war
ranted the Inference.

Prof william Lyon Phelps OF Yale
recently told this story at New ha'
yen's chamber OF commerce banquet
A hard drinker was told by his doctor
thar he could be cured II every time
he felt that he must have a drink he
would Immediately take something To
eat instead.
Tine man followed the advice ana
was cured. but the habit OF asking LOT
food had become so fixed with him
that once he was nearly locked up as
n lunatic lie was stopping at hotei
and hearing a great commotion in the
room next TO his, he peeped over the
transom to see what the matter was.
He saw, and rushed madly down TO
the Office and shouted to the clerk;
The man in 1853 has shot himselE
Ham and egg sandwich, please -
Lippiucouts.
The Ordway new era., 1907-04-19
SCIENCE CROPPING IN DARK.
In Vain Search for the lmmaterial
Says Writer.

Science stands to-day upon the
brink of the abyss of infinity. trying
with net TO catch the immaterial
1t has explored the earth; It's teie
scopes have swept the stupehuous
vaults of the heavens: its microscopes
have searched out the innermost re
cesses of the minute, and In both df
rections II has been halted by the
same thlng-inilnity,
Science, after century and hali
of scofiing at the immaterlal, is no"
trying eagerly to grasp il. Batiied by
phenomena that It has striven Nainly
to explain on material hypothesis II 10
forced at last to the unwelcome
conclusion that there Is something
more than matter-something when
all its telescopes and all its micro
scopes are powerless to discover
Science has not yet seen the imma'
terlal. but Il has at last-and how re-
uctantly-confessed its existence.
Now the advance skIrmishers ot
science, cropping blIndly in the dark
ness OF the unknown, are setting traps
for the immaterial, hoping with beat
ing hearts to solve the riddle Of HE
and death. to prove !he immatcrial, To
demonstrate its properties and to codi'
fy its laws.
Those who have maintained the
simple faIth-the answering faith in
the infallibIlty OF their own ignorance
may now from the heayen-piercinS
peak Of their simplicity look down up.
on the vain struggles Of the scientists.
their fantastic efforts 70 weigh the
soul. their charIatanlc assertions that
they can picture Il. their plastic cred.
ulity to the shams OF takers who pre-
tend to re-embody the spirits OF the
dead. and all the other groiesque con.
tOrtions of the wise men who believe
nothing they cannot understand.
All this is but striving to attain 10
which the believer has pos
sessed always; II may succced-who
ran tell? hut. when the immaierIal
shall have been caught tn the butter.
ny nets Of science. when the limitless
fields OF inhni,y shall have been tTi-
an men will rccog-
llzc these newest discoveries Of sell
,ncc as an old. old thing which the
world In Its childlike simplicity has
allied Eternity and God.-ArthUr Ben.
ugtou. in Chicago American.
The Ordway new era., 1907-04-19
SPLENDID APRIL TONIC.
Easily Prepared at Home and Harm
less TO Use.

This Is known as "Blood-CleaninG
Time" especially among the older
folks. who. always take something dur
ing this month to clean the blood OF
impurities and build 1t up.
The following is the recipe ms given
by a well-known authority, and any
one can prepare it at home:
Fluid Extract Dandelion oue.halt
ounce, Compound KarEOn one ounce.
Compound Syrup Sarsaparilla three
ounces.
Get these simple ingredients from
any good pharmacy and mix by shak-
ing well In bottle. The dose is one
teaspoonful after meals and at bed
time.
Everybody should take. something to
help the blood. which becomes in'pov-
erished and almost sour after the win
ter season. especially those who are
subject 10 Rheumatism. Catarrh, KID
ncy and Bladder trouble.
It is said that one weeks use of this
mixture will clear the skin OF scrcs,
Fimplcs or boils.
This is sound, healthy advice. which
will be appreciated by many readers.
The Ordway new era., 1907-04-19
Yale Now Free from Debt.

Yale university Is free from debt.
and has balance Of sG2. 900. after
paying a floating debt Of Si5G,SO4
The university has recently invested
more than 81 900. 900 in New York real
estate. producing AZ per cent. and
has bond investments worth s3.3O7..
97l.75 and stocks worth s5OO.4S2 30.
At least a quarter million more could
be realized on the bonds and stocks
The treasurer. Mr.. Lee McClung. an
nounces that the funds OF the univer
sity reach SS.254.492.i5.
The Ordway new era., 1907-04-19
What's in a Name.

Friend. what's your name
1ueried the farmers wife Of the tramp
who had asked for q meal.
De name / wuz chTisreucd. lady. or
De name / have now"
Good lands, Have You more than
one name?'
Il have had so many, lady. since me
career began dat
can't remember dem all Lets see,
now. wuz chrIstcucd George Red.
bingham Smith. an den dey called me
George. When ! WIZ about len
got de nickname NV Smithy. Den
one day some guy got fresh an called
me Fatty, an It hung to mo until
could fight a bit At de age uy q /
wuz addressed as Mr.. Smith by
some. a. George by others. an as
'Flathead' by few choice fren's dat
wuz biggcru me
And what are YOU called now 80
asked the curious farmers Nlfe.
I'm Jest comm ter dat. lady
When I reached de tender age NV 81
me cruel an unnatural parents sent
me out inter de cold world alone tel
earn me own livin', an dat's how
drifted inter dis bizncss. got 81
thin at first wurkin' at me trade da
me name wuz 'Skinney.' but after
few years dat WIZ changed ter Wear,
Willie Now de boys calls M
camel"
Camel? What do they call you tha
for?"
81 guess. lady. dat it's because III
20 so long without water"
And then she whistled for the dol
and Camel had to get hump o
him self.-Judge
The Ordway new era., 1907-04-19
eIeh Priz, for HIs,oricaI Work.

One million FIVE hundred thousand
dollars Is offered as prize for a liter.
ary composition. the biggest prize Of
its kind on record. The award will be
made nj ST. Petersburg on December
/, 1925, to the writer Of the best his
tory OF Alexander l. OF Russia. Arlki-
cheief. founder of the military colo
nlcs OF NoyEorod. loft a fortune Of
$4,000 gold rublcs Ds25.75O) to provide
for this unique prize. The prize giving
day is the centenary Of the Gar Alex.
andeF's death. by which time the
money will. II is estimated. have in.
creased TO $1,000 600. One.fourth Of
It will be used 10 defray the cost OF
publishing the work which wins the
prize.
The Ordway new era., 1907-04-19
ROMANTIC DEvoNs,iIRE.
The Land Made Famous by PhiIpotts'
Novels.

Philpotts has made us familiar with
romantic Devonshirc. in his fascinating
novels. The River" Children OF the
Mist etc. The characters are very
human; the people there drink coffee
with the same results as elsewhere. A
writer at Rock House. Orchard Hill,
Bideford. North Devon. states:
For 30 years ! drank coffee for
breakfast and dinner but some 8 years
ago found that 1t was producing indi.
gestion and heartburn. and was MAX
ing me restless at night. These symp-
toms were followed by brain fag and
sluggish mental condition.
When realized this, made up my
mind to quit drinking coffee and
having read OF Postum. / concluded to
try 1t. had 1t carefully made, accord.
ing to directions, and found to my
agreeable surprise at the end of a
week. that / no longer suffered from
either indigestion, heartburn, or brain
rag, and that l could drink 1t Mt night
and secure restful and refreshing
sleep.
Since that time we have entirely
S""ueu 'he use OF the Old kind Oi
conee. growing fonder and fonder ol
Postum as time goes on. My digestive
organs certainly do their work mucf
better now than before. result du,
10 Postum Food Coffee, am satisfied
] AS a table beverage we find (for al
the members Of my family use it) tina
when properly made It is most refresh
Ing and agreeable, Of delicious fiayo
and aroma. Vigilance IL, howeye,
necessary to secure this, for unless th
servants are watched they are likel
TO neglect the thorough boiling WHO
u must have n order to extfaat Il
Il yoc1neas from ~ csrsal.r Name aive
II ~ fosena o. Hast1e Croek, m
I; 7. !. ~ 1As Ut = 1
The Ordway new era., 1907-04-19
Maine Woman Has Pc. Deer.

Mrs Nellie Smith. OF Sebec. Me.
has tame deer which is nearly two
years old now. but which she has
raised like a cosset lamb. feeding II
from a bottle at first and making
great pet OF II. 1t was given TO her
by lumberman. who overlook II in
the deep snow and caught It in his
arms when 1t was no larger than a
cat. except for its legs, 1t has always
been perfectly tame and domesticated,
never having known anything OF the
wild life OF its kind. but runs about
the premises unrestralned. having its
place In the stable on cold nights.
The deer are numerous around Sebec,
and 1t is a question whether, as Mrs.
Smiths pet grows older. 1t will not
answer to the "call of the wild" and
join its comrades in the forest
The Ordway new era., 1907-04-19
.ola,er,ne In chlrs.
III rrans Hayden. of 3

Corporal Frank haydcn'
.,x recruiting station. who spent .
xear Of army service In China. says
:, q. n good country 10 soldier" In.
.,rhe worst thing about China and
"a Islands" he said. is that there's
no one to associate with except t"e
notlyes Otherwise they're good
n,aees. China especially. to do mill
tary service. Food OF good quality 10
very cheap. We could buy i'9 eggs
there for so cents American money
~ ono dollar Mex Ten cents would
huv fine fat chicken and GO cents
good sheep, The Chinese are sood
cooks and We could employ one for
very little money over his board. =
Kansas City Times.
The Ordway new era., 1907-04-19

N M h>. w. II. .hS-'ss AAA' -
lVl St, Kansas City. Mo. member of
the National Annuity Association
writes:
my health was excellent until about
a year ago, when had complete col
lapse from overriding socially. not get
ting the proper rest. and too many late
suppcrs. NV stomach was in dread
fui condition, and my nerves al nH-
strung.
-. was advised by a friend to try Pc
runa. and eventually bought bottle.
/ took it and then another, and kept
using IL for three months.
.'At the end OF that time my health
was restored, my nerves no longer
troubled me, and | felt myself once
more and able TO assume my social
position. | certainly feel that Peruns
Is deserving OF praise.
There are many reasons why society
women break down. why their nervous
svstens fail. why they have systemic or
pelvic catarrh. Indeed, they are espc-
cially liable TO these ailments. No won
der they require the protection OF Peru
na Ii is their shield and safeguard.
The Ordway new era., 1907-04-19
Dissertation on Henpeck.

An Ohio man is reported to be at
the point of death from blood poison.
ing caused by henpeck. This is
rather queer, There are many men
In and around Eskridge who are hen
pecked thousand times a year. and
while 1t makes the blood boil no
poisoning has set n.-wabaunsee
Tribune.
The Ordway new era., 1907-04-19

Give Defiance Starch fair tIial-
try II for both hot and cold stdrchihs.
and If you don't think you do peter
work in less time and at smaller cost
return it and your grocer VIII give
you back your money.
The Ordway new era., 1907-04-19

nv following the directions, which
are MAINLY printed ON each package OF
nogance starch, Mems Collars and
Cuns can be made Just as stih as de-
sired, with either gloss or Domestic
anIsh. Try 1t. 10 OF. for loc, sold by
all good grocers.
The Ordway new era., 1907-04-19
Absit Omenl

Absit omen. May the omen be
away" Suppose Roman sneezed. a
premonition of sudden death; prompt.
ly he murmured absit omen. prayer
that the omen might pass away from
him. 1t is simple prophylactic
measure Of much the same value az
the crossed fingers or the rap of the
knuckles on wood in our present day
avoidance OF the ever menacing hoo
doc, most salutary practices which II
would be pity to forget.
The Ordway new era., 1907-04-19
In Pinch. Use ALIENS FooT-sAsE

\ powder. II cures painful, smart
ing. nervous feet and ingrowlnE nailS,
It's the greatest comfort discovery OF
the age. Makes new SHOES easy. \
certain cure for sweating feet Sold
by all Druggists, Csc Accept no sub
stiiute. Trial package FREE. Ad'
dress 4. S. Olmsted. lie Roy. y. Y.
The Ordway new era., 1907-04-19
prieats at Humble labor.

The Bishop OF Digne stated recent
" in the Paris Gaulois that. while
some Of the priests are now living on
their savings. others are supporting
themselves by mending watches, max
Ing bechives and knitting jerseys.
The Ordway new era., 1907-04-19
II /, curious that actors who lose
81, heads" don't advertise for tne'n

Far constipation, biliousne-s. liver s,o I'M i'm.
turbances, and diseases resulting IL" Gar
pure blood. take Nature n,. tr"o nS health.
field Tea. 1t is made "no"! ''
g1yiup herbs.
The Ordway new era., 1907-04-19

, have lived to know that the grea' '
s.cret of human happiness Is tnIs.
Never suffer your energies 10 '""
Adam Clarke
The Ordway new era., 1907-04-19

Blessed is the man who has found
his work: let him ask no other bless
edness. Know thy work and do ~
and work at It like Hercules. one
monster there is in tho woFId-the
idle man.-CRrlyle.
The Ordway new era., 1907-04-19

To live but one day in good will to
all men is to anticipate and hasten
that day when all men shall live In
GOOD will.-Bllss Perry
The Ordway new era., 1907-04-19

Sheer white goods. In fact, any fine
wash goods when new. QUE much OF
their uttrHCtivcncss to the way they
are Numbered. this being done In n
manner 10 enhance their textile beau.
y. Home laundering would be equal
ly satisfactory II proper attention was
given TO starchinE the frs; essential
being good Starch. which has sufficient
strength TO stIren. without thickening
tho goods. Try Defiance Starch and
you will be pleasantly surprised at the
improved appearance % your work.
The Ordway new era., 1907-04-19

Carpets can be eolored nnrS on sse nSe Ssk Your
PUTNAM FADELEsS - h
druggist. loo per pacNasc'
The Ordway new era., 1907-04-19
Calls for Interr -eter.

A trading firm at PckinE has re-
cclvcd the following communications:
Dear Slr-The Chinese calendar in
your company is glance in looking. TO
be sure surprising all the others; and
also II is gigantic beyond example in
conueNiun with its fine spectacle,
while / look at IT, shall be very
much obliged, II you will kindly give
me some pieces, as have great deal
OF interest OF it."-London Daily Mail
The Ordway new era., 1907-04-19
Tn. Sam. Tb,ro.

The Same Thing.
"Dsd you ever hear OF Adams
fall?"
Yes. have. old man. Did you
ever hear Of caves dropping?'
The Ordway new era., 1907-04-19
Rather vanue,

Rather vaeus.
what did you think Of that little
jots q nins about ~ ChscaSo strI's
The Ordway new era., 1907-04-19

s M @ m confidence OF the Welnomed of
Is
@ therefore, the California Fig fol ~
package full
demand
assured California
known to the Company only ''Nf 'fN"' 'N's"" s'u0
the C,lf are other ethical remedies approved physanx product
company possesses aN
sweete internal
Increase tb % = natural functions dbaing having
'"NN'e to time
svrr, and
known ia ana as its principles obtained se
iasav.s physicians and the Of world to ~
we nave adopted the of Svrup A. Elixir
called t more u descriptive remedy but doubex iii
aiwav, o Oy the shorter Syrup of Figs and to sc.
nlan e, when purchasing
printed on the front
and M E y the full Syrup of Fiys rd Fi, Sruu
Syrup Company na ma the remedy manufactured bF
has ven anu ' the name
hroaahon @ satisfaction M action millions genuine Is Is for for saIe b %
which 6fv @ . emitted States packages Of one size M
se Every bottle !, the general . - -, ~ "a ~
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1907-06-12

Ruth Lyman, who has been attend
ing the St. Cloud Normal, is at home
for her summer vacation.
Honorable D. A. Stuart of Win
dom has, been secured to deliver the
Grafton at Comfrey, July 4th.
Glen Gold went to Mankato Mon.
day, to enter the Mankato CONNER
cial College.
Tracy Ferris was in this city last
Thursday, coming up from Sleepy
Eye, where he is employed as night
operator.
Leila Kumm, who has been teach
ing at Leroy. this state, and was
honored by reelection at an in
creased salary, is at home for her
summer vacation.
C. V. Everett was taken in as a
guest by E. D. French while at st.
Cloud last week. He reports that
Mr.. French is enjoying life very
much in his St. Cloud home.
Postmaster King drew a one hum
dred salary increase recently on ac-
count of the increase in postal bust
ness at this Office the past year.
The salary is now $500 per year.
Paul Hitchcock arrived home last
Thursday, after nearly a years alb
sence at Souris, N. D., where he was
employed by the 500 road. Paul
appears to be in excellent health.
Miss Jessie Parish came up from
Hamline last week to spend week
with her parents and friends here.
She left for the cities yesterday with
the intention to spend the rest of
her vacation there.
i Rev. R. F. Chambers goes to Bah-
ton next Friday, to address the dis
trict Christian Endeavor conven-
tion. Miss Lillian Jensen has beer
elected delegate from the society
connected with the Presbyterian
church at this place.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1907-06-12

c. G. Draper and Mr. and Mrs.
Allen of Boyd and Miss Agnes Olson
of Vesta were over Sunday guests
at the Hingeley home. 81
The death Of Chas. McEwen, form
erly well known in this city. was
reported last week. This issthe sec
ond of E. B. Hale's son-in-laws who
have died since the family removed
to Washington.
1. Attorney G. T. Howard and w. G.
Owens are billed to crate on the
Fourth at Lucan, where full pro.
gram of sports, including races. base
ball. tug Of war, bowery dance, ETC.,
has been provided.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1907-06-12
Additional locals on 9Th page.


Geo. Jaehning and family spent
Saturday and Sunday with Alex.
Schmahl at Morgan.
Miss Zelma Thune arrived from
the Hamline ~" Saturday to spend
the vacation at home.
J.. H. Klaus and wife returned
from their trip to Minnesota Lake,
Austin and St. Peter Friday.
Ed. Pratt took in the carnival at
Granite Falls last week, doing a
little horse trading on the trip. =
Silver Cream. the best silver pol
ish in the world has no equal. For
sale at Asleson's Jewelry store
Miss Gretchen Hitchcock arrived
home the past week, after complet-
ing her teaching year at Goldfield.
Iowa.
It is getting little late to con-
graduate Mr.. and Mrs. Ed. Fodder
" over the arrival of a boy, but
better late than never.
DR.. Brand left for the twin cities
Yesterday, where he will join his
wife, and the two will take week s
outing at Big Stone City, S. D.
| Mrs. w. F. Manthey went to Min
neapolis yesterday to visit with her
parents and witness the graduation
i Of her sister from North Side high
school.
/ The State firemen's convention al
st. Cloud voted last week to hole
their next years convention at Man
kato, electing chief Mic. Klein
I schmidt Of that city president.
The dairy industry suffers leasr
from the floods Of any Of the farm
ers' resources. We are glad tx
report that Buttermaker Keachie''
list of patrons is growing, number
ing 86 last week, with a shipment O.
SO tubs Of butter.
, In connection with the visit O
Rev. Fl. Koch to his old parishioner
in this city and vicinity, The GA
zETrE should have noted his pro
motion from his charge at Appleton
to the pastorate of a larger congre
!. cation at Reedsburg, Wis.
: Edmund Westfall, who went t
i Minneapolis a few weeks ago. hal
the misfortune to fall ill last week
} and his parents have been informe'
] that he was in the hospital wit
what was pronounced light form
) Of diphtheria. On account Of tn
J contagious nature Of the disease, hi
) parents were shut off from attend
ing him during his illness.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1907-06-12
THE OFT

T. E. Walton has removed to Spo-
kane since selling out his Wenatchee
property.
T. M. Quarton returned from his
Iowa visit last week. accompanied
by his mother.
Mr.. Hanold, the international cor
respondence school man, was in the
city last Wednesday, in the interest
of his school.
Ed. Durham captured a beauty of
pickerel below the Redwood dam
last Wednesday. 1t weighed over
eleven pounds.
H. F. Buechner is putting in q
vacation at Long Lake, having left
here for that place last Wednesday
Arthur Kenney is filling his place at
the store.
Miss Addie Bigham and. sister,
Mrs. Frank Culver, with the three
children Of the latter, arrived here
last Tuesday to visit with their par
ents for a season.
There was nothing doing at Granite
Falls on Decoration day, according
to the Journal of that city. Poor Ole
Granite only wakes up when they
have ball game up there.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1907-06-12

DIR. Lyman came home from Long
Lake last Thursday, with { nice
catch of fish.
Miss Skoog Of the high school re-
turned to her home at Red Wing
last Monday.
Miss Bessie johnson went to VIM
dom the first of the week, to visit
for time in the family Of her sister,
Mrs. Croft.
A recent order of the postoffice
department forbids postmasters from
answering inquiries regarding mail
over the telephone.
Are you going to drain your land!
Take look at our cement tile on
the Methodist church lots.
! 44-2t. BIssELL & MILLER.
The approaching marriage is an
1 nounced of Theodore Schoening and
1 Miss Blanche Martin, which is to
occur at St. Paul next Tuesday,
June 18th.
Arthur Kenney went to Mime
apolis the first of last week to see
his mother. Mrs. Kenney is greatly
i reduced in health, but at the time
her son visited her appeared to be
slightly gaining, and the latter was
considerably encouraged by thai
fact.
] Marshall Reporter DR.. Gag ha!
reconsidered his intention officiating
in this city permanently and will no
return. With DR.. Ferro here ant
DIR. Bacon back again, the field woult
4 be too crowded to make theprospect
look very rosy here from financia
standpoint.
Morgan Messenger: Miss John
son, teacher of the primary depart
ment of the public schools, CAM
down from Redwood Falls Thursda.
evening to be present at the CLOSING
day Of school. Miss Hitchcock o
Redwood Falls has been supplyin,
Miss Johnson's place since the dealt
Of her mother which occurred abou
three weeks ago. Miss johnson vii
fill the same position next year.
Herman Kaiser of this city me
with q mishap early last week, Will
driving along the hills on the Rem
vile side of the Minnesota. At
particularly rough place in the roa
his buggy struck tree root and tn
jolt spilled Mr.. Kaiser out on tn
ground. Unfortunately, the victim
|of the accident fell heavily on hi
; right shoulder. dislocating it, $
, that Mr.. Kaiser viii be unable t
use his right arm for some time.