Evening star., 1907-11-16
GABBSKY IN NJ YORK

him, of course Everybody mas met MI
Gabbsky Mr. Gabbsky is everywhere
The writer hereof met him in New York
one day last week. Said Mr.. 'iabbsky
on that occasion:
Say, die hear about Toolayte? Hey:
No? Say, what do you people that live
out In the country do to pass away the
time? Why, l thought everybody knew
! how poor old Toolayte got beat on the
wire by a nose. as they say-heh! hen!
| Always did try to hurl out the I'M
! pression that he knew lot more than the
| other folks Toolayte dds pose you re-
| call that don't you? Well. that "ouidh
be SO bad II he wasn't pig-heaoed De-
sides He was tipped on about the sta'e
| of things at the banks in plenty OF tiile'
| but you know how he likes TO take the
Opposite view. just for the sake OF hahd-
| ing everybody an argument.
| 5Why. saw, If you denied 1t. Toolayte
| 'ud declare that you had four gold teeth
In your upper jaw, even II you'd never
| sat In a dentists chair in your Ire.
| We'll when the banks began TO WaDDia
! som. around here somebody pnoned 100
| late that he'd better get his coin out. But
of course Toolayte said that 1t 'ud be
| impossible for anything to be wrong with
the banks around here. on, ne Knew
| you know! He said 1t was all the knock
! ing of the yellow papers. and all ike
that and he didn't even think of run
ming around to his bank and getting into
line till the line was about quarter OF
| a mil long. We'll after long wait he
got to be third man in line and 1t was
| pretty close TO ciosing-up time. The man
| directly ahead of him. second in line. was
a bum, who'd only got into line for the
| purpose of selling his place in line If he
| got a chance.
| $50 this bum turned to Toolayte and
offered to sell his place In line for
ten dollar note. Toolayte came near
jumping down the buns throat,
But the man right behind Toolayte
chimed up and said that he'd dig ten
bucks for the place behind the second
man, and he bought the place and took
it. Then. Of course. the seller or the
the place for $40 got his money out all
| right, but just as the paying teller fin
ished handing him his money the cashier
| swung along and told him to quit, and
plenty, with eight thousand bones behind
the counter that he couldn's get his ml,ts
on, and all because he wouldnt cough
up a measley little ten-doilar note. The
concern didn't open up the next day. and.
say. you ought to hear Toolaytes IAN
guage. If you want to hear some of that
piratical stuff that you've read about just
call Toolayte up on the phone and ask
him how he made out In the hurry. drea''
| hey? Heh-heh!
.'Oh, by the way. talking about con-
fidence and aN-downs and things, I've
hear out in the country where you nve'
| about the wallop poor old BumsW'ch
| handed himself while the excitement was
going on? No? Well. some people never
| are taught by experience. OF course, a
fellows bound to feel sorry for poor Old
| Bumswitch, and all like that, but. then.
| some people have got to be raped pretty
hard before they ever learn anything,
haven't they? Bumswitch. you see got
the tip about the wabblyness of the CON
cer,r where he had his. and he hiked right
over and fell into line and p pulled mi, MS
with his good kale right In his kick where
| he can put his hand on it. but trot out
to a Harlem bank. the president of which
he knew, and slap It right Int into ina mat
evening l met him way up town, and ne
was Just rosy-posy with the thought Of
his own cleverness, and he told me what
he'd done with his mazoom.
| Why l said to him, haven't you
heard anything since about what's hap
pened to that Harlem concern you showed
your money into|
| Why, no. says he. his chops falling.
What are you talking about, ANYHOW
| WHY says l, that outfit closed down
| this afternoon, too, and. say. old pal,
y'ought to've seen Bunswitch's face! Fun
niest countenance ever saw on human
| being, blamed If wasn't! DANCED II
didn't thing the poor old wop was going
to burst into tears! And there he'd been
| Dragging about his foxiness only minute
or so before l told him! OF course. 1t s
| likely that the Harlem banks all night
| and that maybe he'll get his coin. but
| look at the way he'll have to worry him
self almost to death before the bank slips
the dough back to him-heh- -heh-heh!
But the wal!op Bumswitch got wasn't
a marker 10 what happened to Jim kftem-
! out What, you haven't heard about
| what Happened to Jim, either? Gee. but
this living out in the woods does keep
you poor old tied-up jays behind the
| times, doesn't it? Why, poor old Jim
sure got himself frisked for the seven
hundred that he drew down. that's what
happened to Jim. He was Johnny-in-the-
Neighborhood. all right. all right when
the run his bank began-alWays was
kind of beat -em-;o-it-Jack, was Jlm-and
he was one of the first in line. Well,
/ Jim was so tckled with himself, ysae
over having snagged out his seven hum
dred that he figured that he was dut
for a little celebration for himself. Took
eight or ten drinks on his way back to
his office, and then he figured he wouldn't
go back to the Office. Well. you know
how chinny Jim is when he's RUNNING
and how he'll take with strangers.
He fell In with a pair of mugs In a
saloon and got gassy and confidential
with 'em, and of course he had to flash
his roll and tell 'em what wise old
King Cole he'd been in pulling 1t down
before the shutters had a chance to go
doesn't remember much about the SUBJ
sequent proceedings. but what he does
know is that when he came to he was
riding around, alone. in a hack in Central
Park along toward the middle of the
night, and that his wad consisted Of
seven bucks, instead Of seven hundred.
Frisked Just as clean as a whistle by
the couple of obliging mugs who per-
mitted Jim to tell EN- the story Of his
life and then flash his duff. Probably
they staked Jim to a cute little mess of
knockout drops. but, anyhow, he was
there with the deficit and the headache
when he bobbed back to himself in the
hack Jims got a wistful kind of an
idea that maybe he'll get a little piece
of his money back. Fat chance. hey?
Heb! heh Well, we'll, lot of the old
| wops got it where Minnehaha wore the
minks' teeth when that bank-running
gag was on, and nearly all of 'em were
those crafty bugs that
Etc. etc, etc, etc. etc, etc, etc.
Recognize Mr. Gabbsky again? Why.
certainly, you must! Mr.. Gabbsky is al
ways the same, in one town as in an
other, and there's no chance that you We
missed meeting him. Nobody could have
tha. much lusk and live.
Europe's Namesake Cities.
| From the New York World.