, 1907-08-08
TRUE LOVES ROUTE;
IS 1T ALWAYS THROUGH THE
HEART?
sometimes "Py the stummiek," Ae-
cordins to Philosopher Who Backs
Up His Assertion with CON-
elusive Individual Proof.

Max, the Washington Heights sa-
: loon keeper, sat in his cheerful back
! room the other night and def1ed the
weather. Being Sunday the chain
, was on the door, and the presence OF
two policemen in uniform, who had
dropped in for a little something
warm to Offset the effect of the I'M
charitable elements, contributed to
the general atmosphere Of security
and comfort. Half a dozen OF Max's
most neighborly patrons added to the
homelike tone.
Max himself smacked his lips and
sighed a large and comprehensive
sigh of satisfaction as he arranged
the trayful of delicacies which had
| Just been brought down from his cozy
! fiat and constituted his Sunday even
ing meal. He had let the bartender
go for the day and was on duty him
self; hence he could not join his fam
lily at supper. He carefully preened
his long blonde mustache. hid the
brilliance OF the big diamond that
, glowed like a headlight on his spot
less shirt front, ard then when ap-
parently about to tackle the repast.
smacked his lips yet again and paused
to remark:
"Lofe comes by the stummick. Yes,
mine friends. lofe ISIS not by der head
or by der heart, but py der stummick.
/ prove it IA years ago. und mine wife
upstairs, she would tell o der same.
Fourteen years ago I wass a bar
tender, und for six monts keep com
pany py a girl what wass der sister of
mine wife upstairs. I get Thursdays
of, und I take supper init mine girl
und her mudder. Dis vun. mine wife.
wass a cook NIT a private fanny, und
so for six monts l nefer see her on
Thursdays. But We hat goot suppers;
mine girl, she cook EN-.
But vun Thursday 1 find mine girl
ISIS not home. Her sister. miSe wife.
is home. und h cooks der supper
Ach, Gott; hat a supper! She bass
all mine favorites-Hungarian goulash.
home mate peach pie and French cot
fee NIT Q Ach. such a cook.
Such a supper! Ply and Ply I say:
Where ISIS your sister,
"'She's gone nit a girl py a play
she says.
"I hope she stage there l says.
We'll, mine friends, dot night I
!. propose to my girls sister, der cook.
I Lofe m py der stummick. h
l says: o. VIA. will mine sister say?'
, You tell her | say for her to go py der
DEVIL says l. In one week we wass
Y married. und dot is mine goot wife
l uptsairs dere IA years.
T Now, l always ave goot food, und
I am der boss. When | speak efery-
: boty in der house shuts up. l say
: lofe comes by der stummick."
> Good for you, Max" chorused the
! listeners.
Blu one ting l will not do con-
J tinued the saloon keeper between
bites. II will not Wheel der baby car
riage. 1 will walk alongside. min
) hants behint mine back, und smoke
my cigar. will not hantle der milk
polite. What does mems know about
such things? holdings. l am a prac-
teal mans like mine fader and mud
der.
Plenty vifes send der husbands
oudt on Sunday NIT der babies und
der milk pottles. Der babies cry und
night they get sick. On Monday
comes de doctor. All der wee it
takes to get der babies well again. l
will not push der baby carriage"
And the audience. in tones of o n
viction chorused:
You're all right, Max. oil Teller; We
wouldn't, either."-Washington Post.