davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1907-07-18
| Want Work o
No CRATER. 0
No Apologies. o

We reproduce this here for the
benefit of any one in this county
out of work. The plan is certainly
novel and it proved to be speedy.
The New York man did not have to
look long for job.
There abode at one time in Crit
tenden county a thrifty farmer. He
had long heard of the thrift of his
friend not far distant. Being of a
studious nature he desired knowledge.
H feared that his friend knew of
some methods of saving unknown to
him so he sent word he would visit
him some evening for the purpose of
getting few lessons in economy.
He arrived at early candle light
and was ushered in the room. The
only light was a single candle burn
ing brightly. After the usual ex-
change of howdys and neighborhood
small talk the host arose and blew
out the candle. Mr.. Thrifty asked
him why he did that and was inform
ed it was merely lesson in economy.
Presently the host heard a shutting
Of feet and strangely familiar sounds.
He hastily lighted the candle and
found Mr.. Thrifty calmly seated with
his pants folded nicely across the
back Of chair.
"What on earth?' exclaimed
the host, "Do you want to 20 to
bed?"
"Oh, no, replied Mr.. Thrifty,
"this is merely au exchange of
economy lessons. While We sit and
talk | thought | would remove my
pants and thereby save wearing them
out that much.
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1907-07-18

The Louisville Trust Company, of
Louisville, KY, is banking insti-
tuition that holds all kinds of prop
erty, both personal and realty, III
trust for private individuals and
corporations. 1t has under its con-
troll great many houses to rent and
for consideration attends to the
renting, repairs, insurance, taxes,
etc.
Sue Garner. colored woman of
Marion moved to Louisville and Is
living in one Of the houses which is
under the control Of the Louisville
Trust Co.
Not long ago she was complaining
of the excessive rent she paid.
Rents in Louisville and Marion differ
very much because of the difference
in the price of property. Sue, how
ever, explained the difference by
saying that the property belonged to
trust and the trusts made high
prices,.and would yet ruin the coun-
try.
\ few weeks ago when the Ohio
was level with the banks some of our
farmers wore very long faces. Billy
Barnett was IN Marion almost tread
ing on his chin, and when asked
whether or not he would sell 1000
hogs this year. replied:
cit depends on the river. -
Jim Canada says if anybody can
get closer to corn row than he they
will have to pillow 1t up.
A few days ago man in New
York was looking for work. He
suspended about his neck by a cord
a placard about two feet square bear
inc this legend.
The Mena weekly star., 1907-06-20

tatH tupHtis
 OWEN CHAPEL UNION NO. s3o. w. NJ. Bunyard, president; c. W. Fisher, Meets first and third Fridays of each month at ? p. m.
 wEsTvIEw UNION NO. 1s5 T. NJ. HoIlingsworth, president; W. c. Eads, Meets first and third Saturday afternoons.
 ROCK SPRINGS UNION NO. S91. w. II. Gibney, president w. E. Cox, secre- tary. Meets first and second "Wednesday nights Of each month. Quito, r. Q.
 FOWLER UNION NO. 12s4. Philip Abernathy, president, Wills Jones, secretary. Meets first and third Saturdays. PLEASANT HILL UNION NO. 1900. J. A. Moore, president; ]. A. Griffin, secre- tary. Meets every other Saturday night at Hatfield postoffice.
 cossAToT UNION. A. C. Higgins, president; R. D. Wood, secre- tary. Meets at Gap Springs school house every second and fourth Saturday at D. m. RICH MOUNTAIN UNION NO. 1898. J.Z. Little, secretary. Meets every second and last Saturday in each month.
 OZARK UNION NO. 2oos. $. D. Manning, secretary.
 GRANNIss UNION NO. 17ss. w. l.. Farmer, secretary.
 HOLLY GROVE UNION NO. 1542 R. L. Dalrymple. secretary.
 OVERTURE UNION NO. 1897. Charles Burke, secretary.
 CENTER UNION NO. 1901. IT. A. Dooley secretary.
 HOLLY SPRINGS UNION NO, 294 J. C. Yell secretary.
The Mena weekly star., 1907-06-20
PLAcATEp MIR. DAN SAMSON.
CoIored Ministers "Retraction" a Fri
 umph of Ingenuity.

In Mississippi there was colored preacher noted in those parts for the extreme frankness and candor of his exhortations to his wicked brethren to reform. On one occasion, relates Representative John Sharp Williams, the divine was holding forth on the sin of theft. Among other things he said: T see befo' me ten chicken thieves, includin Dan Samson" This bald statement of fact rather aroused the resentment of the aforesaid Sam son, and he threatened the minister with personal violence. The latters friends persuaded the divine to with draw the accusation if Samson would promise not to offer the minister any hurt The question seemed about to be adjusted, it being settled that the clergyman should, on the following Sunday, publicly retract his statement as to the honesty of MT. Samson. Therefore, rising in the pulpit on the day appointed, the minister said: Tt pears dat remark of mine, in de ser mon of last Sunday, has been de cause of offense, an I derefore amends it. What I should have said was dis: I see befo' me ten chicken thieves, not includin' Dan Samson "-Harpers Weekly.
The Mena weekly star., 1907-06-20
SALT CELLAR OF LONG AGO.
Was Distinctive Marx of Caste in the
 Middle Ages.

This is medieval salt cellar" said the aDtiquary. Tt is huge. 1t is shaped like a castle, it is solid silver and the price-but what is the use telling the price to you? Very magnificent, eh? In the middle age, you know, the salt cellar was the principal table orna- ment. Guests sat above or below the salt as they were prominent or the reverse. Where do you think you'd have sat, eh? Queer table manners they had in those days. The fastidious had individual knives, forks and spoons, but the common people ate with their fingers. You helped your self from the general dish with your own spoon if you had one, but if you were very, very fastidious you licked the spoon clean first. The food was queer-rich. rank food-swans, herons, porpoises, garlic, yerjuice, saffron. There was mead and wine in floods and ushers stood about whose duty it was to lead to convenient couches such guests as had dined too we'll. These ushers, being oyerworked, were continually striking for more pay vhe hours were queer, too. Breakfast. dawn; dinner, ten o'clock; supper, four o'clock in the afternoon"
The Mena weekly star., 1907-06-20
Every Han Ills Own Doctor.

The average man cannot afford to employ a good physician for every slight all ment or injury that may occur in his family, nor can he afford to neglect them, as so slight an Injury as the scratch of q pin has been known to cause the loss of a limb. Hence every man must from necessity be his own doctor for this class ofailments. Success often depends upon prompt treatment, which can only be had when suitable medicines are kept at hand. Chamberlains Remedies have been in the market for many years and enjoyed a good reputation. They sell for 25c a bottle
 Chamberlain's Collie, Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy for bowel complaints.
 Chamberlain's Cough Remedy for coughs colds, croup and whoopIng cough.
 Chamberlain's Pain Balm tan antiseptic liniment) for cuts, bruises, burns, sprains- swellings, lame back and rheumatic pains.
 Chamberlain's stomach and Liver Tablets for constipation, biIlousness and stomach troubles.
 ChamberlaIn's salve for diseases of the skin.
 One bottle of each of these five prepara- tions costs but Sl.2o For sale by Jackson Drug Go.
The Mena weekly star., 1907-06-20

Have you any conception of color?'' friend asked blind man. What idea have you when you hear colors mentioned?"
 "A person blind from birth as have been can have no possible proper con. ception of color" was the reply. ITO me color is sound, or rather. music. When I hear the word red, for ex- ample, I instantly think of high piercing note of music; blue is to me delicately sounded note fairly high and pleasing in tone; green is soft tone and rather low, quiet and rest full; while yellow is lively, quick little notes rapidly sounding and causing pleasure, almost to laughter. Black, alas! is the only color we can realize, for we are told that that is the absence of all light, and we know only too we'll what that means"
The Mena weekly star., 1907-06-20
nO3 MONEY CHEERFULLY
 REFUNDtD'
Ry s. E. RISER

avon say in your advertisements, 7
 = fha man who had laid a package sa'D the counter, that you guarantee on a,,sfaction or money cheerfully re funded.
 .o.d of the department, as a frown oyerspread his face.
 acome now. you're not looking a <. cheerful. I bought a shirt here dav before yesterday, and find that ', is not satisfactory l was told"
 eyou will have to see the clerk who sold you the shirt "
 aWill he refund the money?'
 of he wishes to do so, he can"
 aAb over there he is. Here, my friend do you remember selling this sbirt day before yesterday? You told me it vas
 q don't think sold you the shirt. never saw you before"
 eYes. you did You sold me this sbirt and guaranteed that it--"
 eNo: you are mistaken, l never euarantee anything"
 You don't, eh? Well, you adver- ase that you guarantee satisfaction or money cheerfully refunded. Here. Look at this paper. This is your ad, isn't it?"
 .This is to-day's paper. It hasn't anything to do with day before yes terday-
 Where's the proprietor of this store"
 You'll find him back in the office"
 After he had waited around for osarly an hour the man with the shirt succeeded n intercepting the propri. etor as he was trying to slip out to luncheon.
 You advertise that the money is ebeerfully returned when the goods you sell are not satisfactory" T must ask you to talk to the clerk you bought the goods from. don't know anything about this matter"
 T have talked to the clerk, and he says you are the only one who cheer. fully returns money. This shirt" You will have to excuse me. I'm In hurry. Go to the clerk Tm Tn a hurry, too. I've wasted a lot of valuable time here now. and l want to get this matter strengthened out. The clerk says he doesn't do the guaranteeing and can't therefore. cheerfully refund. The head of the
The Mena weekly star., 1907-06-20
MADE HIS RECORD CLEAN.
Driver Had Missed One Rock and Had
 to Go Back.

Some years ago Gen. Miles started to drive from Red Lodge, Mont, to Cody, Wyo., to see his friend, Buffalo Bill. The road was rough, and the reckless driving of the man holding
 he lines made it seem rougher, but the Indian fighter compressed his lips and clung to the seat without complaint When near Cody the gen. eral suddenly prodded the driver in the back with his walking stick and said curtly: Driver turn around" "What?" exclaimed the astonished driver. Do as 1 tell you" command ed Miles. So the man turned the horses about and started back to Red Lodge. Now turn here" ordered Miles, after they had driven few yards. Convinced that his distin guished passenger had suddenly lost his mind, the driver turned about once more and started for Cody. "Therel" exclaimed Miles, in tone of satisfaction, as the side wheels struck stone and he bounded into the air. You hit it! Now, driver, you can go back to Red Lodge and tell them that you drove 75 miles and never missed a rock. You've hit them. every one"
The Mena weekly star., 1907-06-20

May 70
The Mena weekly star., 1907-06-20
Great slsuohter of Salmon.

In the Sea of Okotsk the salmon are suicidal and one of the most start ling examples of the spendthrift side of nature may be found in the rivers that run into this sea. When six years old the salmon begin voyage of death. Ascending the river of their infancy they race in countless thou sands upstream until lack of food and lack of elbow room kill them of. A recent traveller declares that, however many millions of salmon may run up the river, not one ever reaches the sea again alive. What becomes Of the rivers of dead salmon? The sea gulls wheel down upon the scene and feast upon their eyes, scorning any thing less dainty. Bears, wolves, foxes and sledge dogs are made com fortable for the year.
The Mena weekly star., 1907-06-20
TAKING NO MORE CHANGES.
Keepers Had Special Cartridges For
 Poor Marksmsn.

Dr. Seward Webb at a dinner at Shelburne Farms, his great Vermont estate, said of certain poor marks man: Visiting his English brother in-law, he shot the head keeper in the leg the first morning he tried pheasant shooting. The man limped away CUTS ing horribly. Next day he had wretch ed luck, though the wounded head keeper without malice had assigned him. to a fairly good place. Bang, bang, bang, went his gun every few seconds, but not bird fell before 1t. He was much embarrassed. It seemed, too, that at each of his misses the under keepers smiled at one another oddly Finally his cartridges gave out. He hurried to the nearest keeper and demanded more. There aint no more, sir. the man answered. No more? Nonsense. Why, you've got at least 1000 in that box The keeper flushed and stammered: An. but them ain't for you. sir, They're for another gent, They've got shot in 'em, sir
The Mena weekly star., 1907-06-20

department looked unhappy when l asked him if he would cheerfully re lund and now find that you are not inclined to be cheerful when ask you to return my money"
 You are insulting, sir don't wish ot have any further argument with you. Mir. Walker, will you please step this way? Did you sell this man shirt?"
 T don't remember him at all" Here" sald the man who wanted his money cheerfully refunded, as he tore the wrapper from the shirt, you saE see that this came from your aoek, cant you?"
 Well what's the matter with 1t sayway?' asked the proprietor. 'lt isn't satisfactory, that's all. You advertise that you cheerfully refund money when goods are not satisfac lary Why should 1t be necessary to rave all this argument? The shirt is not satisfactory I want my money pack. Now, will you cheerfully re- turn it?'
 Take this order to the cashier" sand the proprietor as he permitted g look Of disgust that was not unmixed *lth anger to overspread his coun. 'enance, and your dollar and a half elll be returned to ou" 4 Sut are you cheerful? l don't want .pe money unless you can be cheer. ,ai when you return it. could wear
 oue shirt, if necessary, you know
 "ul' ! thought that if it would make N svl cheerful to return the money be
 N lse the goods you sold me did not
 eNe satisfaction, I ought to-" # Say, are you crazy?"
 Noi l am an altruist. I believe fn N'ipIeading cheer wherever l may S 1nen ] read your advertisement l a,ne here and purposely bought a
 IVY that was two sizes too large for
 z so that might bring it back and # e you a chance to cheerfully re N Nu'n my money l think every man # Nes it to his fellow men to make
 neul cheerful whenever and however
 may ] sec that you are not in. # ''nea to be cheerful, and I am sorry. # @ilb therefore, keep the shirt and # Aa you good-day."
 lat man ought to be looked after
 ue police, said the head of the # alrt department.
 # HeS as mad ae a NFa~oh ba.a ti # u Mf Walker the clerk" < m pelleye unused the propnetor
 saNe that word 'cheerfully' ou' s advertisement There's nc
 "us what that cranks next idea
 " oe' Chicago Record Herald.
The Mena weekly star., 1907-06-20
TIMBER LAND, ACT JUNE 3, 1878.
 Notice for Publication.
United States Land Ofiice.


 Dardanele, Arkansas June ', 1907, Notice Is hereby given that in compliance with the provisions Of the act Of Congress ol June g, 1878. Entitled "An act for the sale oi timber lands in the States of California, ore gon, Nevada, and Washington Territory, as extended to All the Public Land states by the act of August |, 1892,
 IDA Y. NEAL, of Acorn. county of Polk, State of Arkansas, has this day He'd in this office his sworn state ment No. 3ig, for the purchase ofthe Ma N. F. v, N. E.it N. W.tt of Section No. 3i, In Town ship No. N, Range No. 90 w, and will offer proof to show that the land sought Is more valuable for It's timber or stone than Tor agricultural purposes, and establish his claim to said land before the Circuit Clerk Of Polk county. at Mena, Ar kansas, on Thursday, the 22 day of August l307
 He names as witnesses: Samuel Wells, Charles W. Primer, Lewis z. Primer, James McKewen, all Of Gates,Scott county, Arkansas.
 Any and all persons claiming adversely the abovedsscribed lands are requested to il Ie their claims in this office on or before said 22d day Of August, 1907. June i3. Joseph If. Battenfield, Register
The Mena weekly star., 1907-06-20
His shortcominq.

"No, sir" said clerk to his em- ployeY, q don't think there's anything unreasonable in my asking for an in- crease of salary. You may remember that you promised me rise when l had been with you year"
 T know l did" rejoined the ern. ployer Out didn't make it condi- tional upon your having given me every satisfaction?'
 And in what way. sir, haven't I given you satisfaction?" asked the clerk.
 Tn what way?" replied the em- ployer, with a show of anger. Do you think you are satisfying me in asking for an increase of salary"
The Mena weekly star., 1907-06-20
TIMBER LAND ACT JUNE 5, 1875
 NotiCe for Publication.
nited states Land once


 Dardanelle. Arkansas, AT pril 90, 1907.
 Notice Is hereby given that In compliance with the provisions of the act of congress of June 3. 1878, entitled ''An act for the sale of timber lands in the state Of California. Ore gon. Nevada and Washington Territory" as c eStended to ali Public Land states by act of August I, 1892.
 JAMES A. c. MURDOCH, of Howard county of Polk, state of Arkansas, has this day fled in this office his sworn state ment No. 27l, for the purchase ofthe south half southwest quarter and southwest quarter southeast quarter section 3f, in Township No- |. North Range No. 32 w. and will oner proof to show that the land sought Is more valuable for it's timber or stone than for agricultural pur poses, and to establish his claim Co said land before the Circuit Clerk of Polk county at Mena, Arkansas, on Saturday,t the 18th day Of July, i907 He names as witnesses: Grover Flanagan Wfliam,G. Graham, John K. Little, Elhanan, R Bryant, all Of Howard, Polk county Arkan- sas.
 Any and all persons claiming adversely the above described lands are requested to file their claims In this office on or before said 18th day Of July, 1907.
 May 3 Joseph IT. Battenfeld, Register
The Mena weekly star., 1907-06-20
coIors to the Blind.

" st. John
The Mena weekly star., 1907-06-20
There are Few

people who know how to take care Of them selves--the majority do not. The liver is q most important organ of the body. Herbine win keep 1t in condition. V. c. Simpkins, Alba, Tex, writes: T have used Heroine for ChiIls and Fever and find 1t the best medicine ever used. 1 would not be with out 1t. It is as good for children as 1t is for grownup people, and recommend it. It is fine for La Grippe" sold by Jackson Drug
The Mena weekly star., 1907-06-20
mearu of Abstrac.lona.

"There Is some satisfaction in know ing you are right even If lhe Eoria ,,a does not recognize it., remarked 'he ,dealist Not much, answered youns Nre Torkias. ~I cant help wishihs rbarloy would bet on the horse that does win instead of the one tha' ought to.
The Mena weekly star., 1907-06-20
The Truth of It.

Blusters-I dare say, do look mad. I understand Jigley says I'm the worst liar he ever saw.
 Wiseman-Oh, that's gross libel.
 Blusters-Of course, 1t Is.
 Wiseman-Well, should say. Why. everybody admits you're a pretty good liar-The Catholic Standard and Times.
The Mena weekly star., 1907-06-20
A Happy rloi her.

will sec that he baby is properly cared for-to do this q good purgative Is necessary. Many babies suffer from worms and their mothers don't know it--if your baby Is feverlsh and dosent sleep at nights he is troubled with Svorins Whites Cream Nefminse VIII e,ea a ant the system in a mild. pleasant way once tried always used Give 4 Q frlal Soc Jackson Drug koi
The Mena weekly star., 1907-06-20
Ancient Rome

Is now merely memory ofthe past, Baliard's snow Eminent is the family liniment of the twentieth century. A positive cure for Rheumatism, Burns, Cuts, sprains, Neuralgia etc MT. c. II. Runyon, stanberry, Mo, writes; T have used Snow Eminent for Rheuma- tlsm and all pain. can't say enough in It's praise" For sale by Jackson Drug Co.
The Mena weekly star., 1907-06-20
consfination.

Health Is absolutely impossible If constipa- tion he present. Many serious cases of liver and kidney complaint nave sprung rom neglected constipation. such a deplorahle condition is unnecessary. There is a cure Tor it iierbine will speedily remedy matters, C, A. Lindsay, F. M., Bronson, Fla writes; it fine medicine for constipation" Sold by Jackson Drug Go.
The Mena weekly star., 1907-06-20
nuII Times.

"Hellor said the funny man to Fin usgan the undertaken T suppose your business is dead with you" Faith, tt,e worse than that, replied Finnegan. ashure. I haven't buried Twin soul in near a month"
The Mena weekly star., 1907-06-20
aest sIeen of AlI.

q see that an eminent physician de clares that two hours of sleep before midnight are worth more than six after that hour" Nonsense! Two hours of sleep after you're called in the morning are worth more than anything else
The Mena weekly star., 1907-06-20
TIA Makino of Fame.

Neryitt - That's McSlugger, the champion pugilist. He's enjoying his new laurels. Ascum-Woke up ono morning and found himself famous, ehq Nervitt-Yes, because he had put his opponent to sleep the night be- fore
The Mena weekly star., 1907-06-20
A hlnh Reaard.

T suppose you have certain ao- miration and esteem for our govern ment?v said the sarcastic citizen. Undoubtedly" answered MT. Dustin stax. Our government has trained some of the most efficient men thas we capitalists have in our employ Washington Star.
The Mena weekly star., 1907-06-20
eorthe Blues.

Ifvou are blue dejected, and Feel Ike tn world has 1t in for you the chahces aie that your liver is taking few days on' rul II to work by using simmons Liver fufAle' fin boxrsl; its the best regulator or theti "i''
The Mena weekly star., 1907-06-20
Where Others Failed.

..Igach spring for five or six years l broke out with Kind Of Eczema which nothing seemed to relieve permanently. Finally l tried box Ot Hunts Cure when promptly c,red me. Two years have passed by but the trouble has not returned,
 Mrs Kate Howsfd, Little Rock, Ark
The Mena weekly star., 1907-06-20
propsrtIes ot Gold.

Pure gold is unaffected by the at mosphere either at ordinary tempera' lures or when the metal is heated. It Is also proof against the action or common acids when used singly. Moreover, says the Jewellers Circular Weekly, it oonfers it's properties more TT less upon copper and silver when these metals are alloyed with II. Thus, for example, 12 karat gold Will withstand the action of nitric acid and the atmosphere at ordinary tempera' ture. but some of the copper will be oxidlzed during annealing. Nine parts of gold may be alloyed with ten parts of platinum in an ordinary crucible and fire. but such an alloy will not be uniform; large proportion Of plat mum will free itself from the gold on qualification and a homogeneous alloy If the two metals cannot be obtained
The Mena weekly star., 1907-06-20
NnrIcE FoR PunIIcArIoN.
Department oT the Interior. Land office
 tamden. Arkansas. May %. l907.

Dcpartnienf nf the Interior, Land UftIre At
 Camden Arkansas, May v, is07. Notice Is hereby given that
 JAMES E GIBSON or Mountain Fork. Arkansas. has filed notice of his intention Co make tinal i've year proof in support Of his claim, ylz. Honestead Entry No, ssls made April N lSo Tor the ton D. township south. Range R W est, and that said proof VIII be made before clerk ot hls office nj Aiena Arkansas. on July s, is1, He names the following witnesses to prove his continuous residence upon. and cuittya- le Wilcox ln. iamas r. Heavefs. Monroe Crawford aii Of Mountain Fork, Afkansis.
 " G Friedheipl. Register AIar M
The Mena weekly star., 1907-06-20
De Not Neglect the cnildrtn

atnral season of the year the nrst an- llye ln,r,ss,,I 3st ness it chid's bowels should nai ean ''0te attention. The best thing hoera att gwen is thambegiain's COiic, Nst0f oil a t,llfhoea Remedy followed by smelr as E directed e.ith each bottle of the
 fW sale by Jackson Drag 60.