The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1907-12-27
the SPlNSTER and
The BACHELOR
AN ARGUMENT OVER THE
ETERNAL FEMININE

Bundles of contradiction, that's
what you are, every fathers daughter
Of you" muttered the Bachelor "The
poets speak of you as wise and wom-
anly, serene and calm, ministering
angels, and all the rest Of it, but you
aren't-yOu are just incomprehensible
women. You say no when you mean
yes you can't count except on your
fingers; you speak of everything you
possess from paper of pins to box
of bonds as your things, and you
always sit on the floor to put on your
shoes and stockings. Deny it if you
can"
II deny nothing" answered the
Spinster III did should be deny
ing what goes to make for charm in
my sex. If we were not Incompetent.
sible, and bundles of contradiction. as
you call us; if we were plain and
straight and uneventful as road
without turning. you-all of YOU
would find nothing in US to speculate
about. You can lose yourself in a
maze; you can't get lost on straight
road"
Also you use old when you want
to say DAMN" went on the Bachelor
imperturbably, as though he had not
been interrupted. "Horrid old thing.
she's copied my spring hat!' How
often I've heard that remark bubble
from angelic lips in a fury Of rage.
And This old dress is sight and I
never did like that old rug, anyway
Why don't you come out and say what
you really mean?"
Because we never really mean It."
said the Spinster, wisely. mo woman
ever really means damn Old ex.
presses much more to her because
women have such contempt for most
old things Besides, what's the use
of getting into white heat over in.
animate things as men do? I've lost
my collar button scores of times. had
1t roll under bureau and chairs and
couches, and had to plump down on
all tours and crawl around after it,
but it has never get made me swear
and kick the furniture about.
II love man who loses his tenn
per on occasions, and have a con-
tempt for man who doesn't But
surely lost collar button isn't an &C.
casion.
"Once I remember bicycling along
a very dark road with two men, We
were riding Indian file because only
one Of us had lantern. We were
going at clipping pace and sudden.
~, without warning. We smashed
into tollgate pole which the keeper
had let down and forgotten to put a
light on. 1t was terrific crash. One
of the wheels was completely demol-
ished. and we were all more or less
bruised. AS We picked ourselves up
from the debris looked from one
man to another. Iesides an anxiety
to know If | was hurt there wasn't a
sound. and presently exploded
Won't somebody swear? | said fu.
riously." a@
smiling.
"rhey did not" answered the Spin.
ster. Yet they were just the men
who would have turned tho air blue
over lost collar button Incompre-
hensfble woman. indeed! 1t is man
who Is the incomprehensible creature
"All women are alike At least you
can count on the unexpected from
them But men are entirely different.
Whon yf,,, ..ynoct n y,,.,u 70 IN f,,r;ou.
ly angry You look UP and catch him
hiding smile You look for the
sulile. and he is swearing, with the
veins standing out on his forehead
He may not add OH his fingers, he may
say yes when he means yes, but you
canuot count on his moods and tenn.
pers for five consecutive minutes"
THAT is because man is usually
law INTO himself" answered the
Bachelor, ioftily.
And women are not?" quGried the
Spinster with the air Of one who
wished 10 learn
And women are not repeated the
Bachelor. imperturbably You see,
women are excessively self-conscious.
They are always wondering what other
women would do in like circum
stances They are rarely willing to
establish presidents OF even to follow
their own incinations in conventional
matters. and almost everything is a
conventional matter to woman.
Nav, you see. You thought those
men shonld swear because you con.
sidered that. conventionaily. it was
the correct thing to do You never
stopped to argue with yourself that
1t would have been rather BLACKBOARD.
ly for them to string out oaths in
yonr presence. no matter how many
were churned up in their minds. I
think II not only showed very prop.
er respect for you. but remarkably
good self-control.
Nonsense" said the Spinster, sharp
ly. 1t was one time when I would
willingly have overlooked thr loss of
self-control. Besides, you are only
bearing out the truth of my own IDEAS
chat You never can count on what
a man is going to do in any given
circumstance. Do you know you are