The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-22
THE PERKINS FAMILY.
Mr.. Perkins Brings His Philosophy to
Bear On Fishing.

ana rake 1t Easy, had been smoking
his cigar and reading the evening
paper Tor ten minutes when Mrs. Per
klns, who had been sketching over 6
book, laid it aside and said:
Mr. Ferkins, do you realize thai
the summer Is about gomez"
Perfectly, my dear-perfectly," he
replied. That's way summer has
had ever since I knew anything about
the seasons
Last December-one night when
snow was knee-deep and there was a
perfect gale blowing, we sat right
where we do now, and you spoke ur
and said that if you ever lived to see
another summer you'd go fishing al
least once a week and take me with
you. Perhaps you can recall your
words?"
Last December? Last December
Let me consult my memorandum
book. A great many things have hap
pened since last December. Let us
see? Here, under date. of December
ed I find the following entry:
Showing and blowing. Winter in
earnest. Wife and / are cosy as you
please. Just observe to her that if
We lived to see next summer Wen go
fishing every week
That's what find entered, Mrs.
Perkins, and did you wish to pass any
remarks on the record %
yes. 1 do. Have we been fishing
one single time this whole summer
long?"
mot that remember of, my dear"
Haven't 1 spoken about it twenty
different times?''
II should say twenty was about the
number
"And each time you've said you'd
see about it. and we didn't co.
You are correct"
well, have you any explanations to
make?"
'Um! My dear, 1 have often told
you. never to make explanations when
may explain or they may not They
may render everything clear or mix
things worse than before. If you feel
that you could get along without ex-
plantations it would be favor to me"
But don't feel that way. We were
to go fishing most every day this
summer. We haven't gone a single
time. Why haven't we?"
my dear Mrs. Perkins, said Mr..
Perkins as he laid his paper aside,
as whole and decide it on
philoso phical principles. We will do
1t at once and have it over with. And,
by the way, 1 promise you any num-
Der of sleigh rides now for next jan
uary."
And you will keep that promise as
you have kept this one!' she retorted
First and foremost. why do people go
fishing? The natural answer is, to catch
fish. We have been fishing thirty times
and never even had a nibble. Twenty
times did not discourage me, but thirty
did.
why catch fish at all? You will an
swer, to eat them. You catch them,
bring them home, dress them, fry them,
serve them, and you taste mouthful
and throw the rest to the cat. 1t mas
cost you at least three dollars to get
what you could have bought at the
market for fifty cents Notice the eco
ionic problem here presented. /
"Oh. I'm noticing!" replied Mrs. Per-
zins You are already paving the way
o make sneak" a4--.zss-ssz5szzsr=z-.@--
But we go fishing and don't catch
my fish," he continued. we are out
eyeral squabbles while fishing. We
AVE more coming home. We have still
'thers after arriving. We are tired. we |
ire sunburned. We are ma. Morai:
Don't go fishing. |
ITO go fishing we must ride two miles |
With a bull in it.
m fire.
IF the track and killing passengers. |
carry guns. They may go |
If by accident.
IF we escape all the dangers incident |
o street cars we still have the bull to
eckon with. One can never tel when a /
ulI is going to take exceptions to your
at your clothing or even your gait.
lie decides that he doesn't love you
it and comes for you. You are tossed
wenty feet high on his horns, and when
gu come down the vital spark has
ed.
1.-THE vital nonsense! contemptuously
reclaimed Mrs. Perkins.
"Suppose, however, that the bull !
axes no exceptions to our clothes and
ait and permits us to pass on. We /
limb two rail fences and reach an
Id wharf. We tempt Providence by
landing on it. We fish for hours and
atch no fish. By innuendo call you
oodoo. By innuendo you call me
ar 1 at once begin to think of the
heap tombstone I shall buy you at
our death, and you at once begin to
'onder if you've got to put up with
1e for five or ten years longer" g.
your words are mere sophistry, Mr..
'erkins. You can crawl through the
mallest knot-hole Of any man I ever
aw.''
'But let us go back a little. Mrs.
US go back. 1 was think
lg one day last May that we'd go
shing next day when 1 happened to
pen a medical pamphlet. There was /.
treatise in it on fish,"
"Oh, of cOurset'
'It was stated that the fresh fish of
lis country were responsible for two
undred thousand deaths per year
81 will never believe it-never!
Fresh fish, according to that
eatise, are liable to various forms of ]
ood poisoning, and when eaten they ,
the ailment to the eater. ,
GU may congratulate yourself on
;caping some form of blood poisoning, ]
rs. Perkins. You may have escaped
cath itself"
whats the use of listening to such
vaddle!" exclaimed Mrs. Perkins as
lie rose up.
ssc,i+ dou-p INV dearD he rapIied |
ou wanted to know why / didn't take ;
,u fishing this summer, and 1 am try )
z to give you a lucid explanation. 4,
ad my doubts of the truth of the arti- /.
e in the pamphlet, and called on an . /.
ninent physician. He corroborateo
l q statements of the writer n |