The Lamar register., 1907-07-31
HIS PREHISTORIC
MAJESTY
T'''o' ,s e xacc;;.Tl".ss::u9e.::so ''''d

summoned to his past grand worship
full presence, what's gnawin' the peo-
pie Of this realm? What kind of .
bug have they got now. huh?"
The physician stood q moment be-
tween fear and perplexity.
II don't quite comprehend the ma
turs Of yoar majesty's Interrogation"
be vsntursd at last to observe.
"What's that! You don't careen to
my George AIDE breeze? Your balloon
lib don't nIl to my jabber gust. hch?
Ny AdvAnced-thought air currents pass
over yosr mental top-gallant. do they?
Well. I'll see II l can yank them down
70 4 level with your bilge-water intel
lsct. What want to know II. what
the dt~bsns ails my people? Half OF
EN- are - dumnation good that they
give me ne saccharine sickness. When
they os~s into my royal presence they
make me feel as II l had eaten 80
sharistse russes In 80 minutes.
"Aftss four minutes with one Of
those hsman cream puts the other
AAy 1 ssstled out to the kitchen for
en- ssstIs. Then. on the other hand.
the rest OF my people are so thunder
In bad there's no gettin' along with
'sm a. all. Seems as II the very del
MAS :. EN- and they were glad OF It.
TO be sure. they're something of an
iu,pro" en- emit on those animated me
sipsuc buildings that constitute the
other half. but their everlasting ras.
saiitv becomes irksome when you
have to wallow through II eight days
IN the week.
Nov. then. Doc. it's up to you to
peek into the pack and get wise as to
why people amt built on less monot-
onous lines. Why did l pay rs hard
earned bucks to run up through med
Teal college In 60 days and buy you a
diploma printed In q dead and buried
language? What do l give you your
clothes and keep for II 1t amt to have
you cure me OF that tired feeling my
emery subjects give me!
DO you savvy what I'm driving At?
] want yoa to eet squirt on you and
Cad out how to make folks sort up
hstls evener; and I'm in q hurry about
\ too"
81 think 1 perceive" said the physi-
clan. backing to the doorway. where
he gracefully salaamed.
Thsreupon his majesty kicked him
put and slammed the door. the while
he chuckied merrily to himself for
that he had performed an exceeding
meritorious pun.
The next day the surgeon begged
audience Of the king. saying that he
had diagnosed the case Of the people
and was prepared to make hts report.
Let 'er flicker" the king command
Cd. seating himself upon the arm of
his throne and drawing his purple robe
about his bare legs. for the spring was
shy and backward that year.
Your majesty" the physician be-
gan. Il fnd the diathetic conditions OF
your people to be both pathological
and"
Come o." the king interrupted.
"You talk like subway engineer.
Il md" the doctor began again.
that the trouble with your people Is
In their blood. Some of them have
only white corpuscles. and this makes
them rather too good. while the rest
have only red corpuscles. which makes
them rather too bad. II may venture
. suggestion. your majesty"
Hold on! Do you venture II as .
physician or a. . member of the board
Of estimator"
As = physician. your majesty"
very well. then; 20 ahead"
Il would suggest that you Issue .
royal nkase commanding the good and
the bad people of the realm to inter
marry. This would bring about . COM
minEling of the two kinds of blood.
and In . few generations you would
have = race In which good and bad
would be pretty evenly distributed In
each individual
-Thsrs yoa SO" shouted the king.
4 was afraid you were going to talk
like = board member. Dye think I'm
going to wait several generations for
this new order of things! Dye think
I'm Goin' to deal four aces to posterity
and take a pair O. Asuees for myself:
Not much. Mary Ann. I'm out for the
Joyous Now with cap n. Ne for the
gladsoms present. the neeting Already
Yet Look here, You trot out your
eontraptions for bleeding folks and get
busy. Just draw half the blood out
Of the good people and half out OF the
bad people, and swap 'em over. savvy.
| want you to pump half white blood
Into the strenuous ones and half red
blood into the mollycoddles, and strike
AAd average. Sse:"
But both sidss will object to that,
-FOUR majesty
Let EN- object II you're so mealy
about 1t you can stick up signs in the
street. telling EN- II amt your doings.
Lay It on on me II you like. but set .
30 on you and do business. Clear out
D hsrs!-
Whsa the surgeon general had hus-
lied out to do the blood swapping. the
king leaned back In his throne and
laughed long and loud.
BY Jim;ny,- he chuckled. when he
could control his risihles. Won't that
be q boss on posterity: When they
ind themselves all mixed up. every
fellow having some Sood and some bad
In him. won't they sit up nights won.
dsrinS how II came about: And the
best Of IL is these are prshsscnr,c