New-York tribune., 1907-12-15
A TRIP TO MARS.
Nation Does Not Fight acith Nation
There.

Before left the earth I imagined that it was
! absurd TO talk Of Mars If it a country, In
stead of a world. 1 argued that, like earth, it
divided up into series of countries with diff
ferent ideals and different languages. AS far as 7
have been able to make It out however, this is not
the case. My interpreter, who travelled with me
many lands and seas. assured that as
far he knew the same language spoken all
the planet. It is therefore quite correct to
speak cf Mars country rather than world.
/ remember causing great deal OF laughter when
tried to explain through my interpreter to body
of learned men that our world was split up into
several countries. all fighting less against
each other. 1t is by making these little eXplana-
tions from time TO time that | have picked up the
cough and low whistle combined ti and my inter
express the opinion that somebody is a very reck-
In Mars, the provinces that produce corn pool
their haryests for The general profit, and all the
1t. there is certain common sense principle un-
of for twelve shlings and sell it for thirteen
and six. you haven't really increased the value of
only supposed Increase that has got come out
1 was thrown out of a meeting for trying to make
gathering Of Martiars believe that man could
the eighteenpence for himself. One Martlan got
up and said that If that was our idea of right and
Eer rich t enough ns to & 1ny up fsf hat my Gqany Of
and overcrowd the other half | told him that that
was nonsense. and he replied rather testify that
talking it. A moment later the peculiar combna-
q hundred lips and l pushed off the door
step
One evening about that time I lost my inter-
prefer, who acted also as my guide. and had to
roam through large city by myself looking for
him AS / went along ] noticed u Martian
the opposite SIDE of the street, evidently
suffering from the effects of strong drink i have
people like that in my country. but in
Mars the effect OF drink is rather different This
gentleman for instance, had got elongated arm
stretched right across the street. order to en-
able him to preserve his balance and I wanted
side. That is where the trouble began.
I not foolish, OF course, as to suppose
that / can take whole world single handed
but in the hurry of the moment ] didn't think
the inebriate's to destroy his balance
and he came down a frightfui cropper The next
minute his eyes running up and down all
over me- evidently with the view of taking stock
of my fighting form; and the survey apparently
satisfied the gentleman completely. he shot a leg
across the road and kicked unceremoniously
through somebody's drawing window. or
course I scrambled out again as quickly possi-
BILE hurried toward him with view OF sup
plying him with the local equivalent for very
thick ear. Long before / could get Up to him, how
ever his hands had begun to slap me from dis
tance of dozen yards or so, and IL was quite the
most exciting fight / remembered having had since
a policeman in footing once pushed me against
the fence in the course of heated argument.
think the polcemsn's widow was subsequently
pensoned Off, though am not quito sure
TO begin with. caught q grip on one Of tho