Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-08-20
Back From the Dead.


Those twins uncertainty and hesitation,
longing. had unnerved me and made me
less than q man. When I thought OF what
Mrs. Randolph had already become to me
I covered before the fear of her scorn and
hate. Her arms had been round my neck
Il seemed still to feel their warm pressure,
and her kisses still burned hot on my face.
Could 1 renounce her and go my lonely
way? Could so much as run the risk of
losing her?
knew now that the light of her eyes,
changeable as the sky; deep. unfathomable,
haunting as the sea: had lured me from
the first with strength stronger than the
mere spirit of adventure. The romance.
the novelty, the insistence whose imperious
certainty melted into tears, the question
ing mystery which stirred the inquisitive
instinct-all had been there; but the real
lure lay in those azure eyes, in the sweet
brightness and earnestness of her face, in
the tremulous music of her voice.
The joys we have not known we do not
consciously miss. If Helen's beauty had
never ravished the sight Of Paris he would
have turned to some other charmer, or
gone his way unmoved by destinations
feminine. and still would have enjoyed life.
But after he had seen her! I had seen my
Helen.
How does one know when he has met
her? How does the princess know the dis
guiSed prince when he walks out Of the
scented wood Of the fairy tale, the sunlight
though he wears holden gray and performs
the tasks of mental. And every little
bird nest-building in the branches. or
brooding warm blue eggs In which life Is
stirring. knows that he Is the prince and
rejoices. In the same way knew. Her
face had haunted my dreams, and her voice
had long sounded in my ears, even as the
voice of the ocean murmurs forever in the
pink ear of the seashell wherever that shell
may be.
You have been In love. Yet, perhaps, you
never loved as already 1 loved her. For
the love- that comes as the Hghtnlngs flash
may be even stronger than the love that
grows through season and natures slowly
until 1t exhales its full fragrance like a
rose. Love Is the parent of Joy. Yet 1t
was not joy I felt. but fear-fear clutched
me. lest having found her 1 should by some
stumble lose her.
Sent by Mrs. Randolph Jerome came to
me soon. pushing his white. placid English
face into the room with cautious SYM
pathy.
us there something I can do for you,
sir?" he said, respectfully.
He did not look at me directly, but
glanced about furtively, and picked from
the floor the silk-lined manicure case had
knocked down. restoring it with quiet air
to Its place.
Nothing I believe, Jerome" I answered,
mastering my emotions and my voice as
we'll as could Il shall go to bed soon.
and shall not need your help in retiring. I"
He still glanced about the rooms. and
picked an imaginary thread Of cloth from a
chair-seat in lieu of something else with
which to occupy his hands.
Eyes. SIR" he said. helplessly: and then
he retreated, as Silent-foOted as when he
came.
AS soon as he was gone my tempestuous
unrest set me to walking again. I knew
that Mrs. Randolph was awaiting my re-
turn to her, but l could not 60 I hoped
she would credit my action to the eccen-
tricity which believed had been part and
parcel Of the makeup Of Julian Randolph.
Randolph's actions were. 1t seemed, likely
to belong to the inscrutable domains of
topsy-turvey land. where guesswork sits
enthroned on column Of big question
marks. and holds out to all who approach
him the symbol Of the sphinx on the end
of his scepter. l was glad to think this
was so.
1 vas Mortified as I looked into the pier
glass, for my face was so white 1t was
corpselike. was like some iagellant.
flashing himself with cactus thongs while
clinging to the sin that caused the self
scourging. spat scorn at that white face
in the mirror and hated myself sincerely
At intervals I had an accession Of cour-
age and then I was on the point Of return
Ing to Mrs. Randolph and declaring to her
again with passionate earnestness the
whole truth even though 1t turned me
away from her forever. But this courage
was never strong enough to push me
through the door and down the broad
stairs into her presence.
Not having determined to leave the house.
by and by removed my Shoes so that in
my restless walking might disturb no one
might not disturb her. nor let her know
Of my restlessness. l even began to hope
she would think 1 had retired and fallen
asleep and as the time passed I tried to
frIr ty,nf oIn hn6 oriy, Co.,
me.
But I was undeceived. A soft rap
sounded on my door and a low voice cahed:
Julian
1t was Mrs. Randolph.
''Yes? I answered, and my voice trem-
bled.