Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1907-08-09
.EBRATE||D CRANKS
Genius That Was Linked With the
Manners of a Bear.
IA DINNER WITH DEAN SWIFT.
The Way the Whimsical Misanthrope
Treated His Enthusiastically and
Tennyson as GrowlersStories Of
Handel and Won EuloW.

. ennySon as F& NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. OF |
Handel and Won Eulow.
Carlyle, in addition to his other trou-
bles, was a great sufferer from dyspep-
STA. He was therefore anything but I
sympathetic in intercourse with his
friends, anything but fair in. his esti-
mates of other writers.
-a3uyh Carlyle personally liked Ten
nyson, he spoke with impotence of his
"cobbling his odes,'' dismissed Jane
Austen's novels as ''dishwashings,
Hallam, the historian, as dry as dust
and Goldsmith as an Irish black
guard Even the writer's of editorials
in the press were scored by the irrita-
Bile sage of Chelsea. What are these
fellows doing?" he asked, They only
serve to cancel one another.
A characteristic incident illustrates
Carlyle's disposition to infiict pain even
on a friend. An artist who frequented
the house of Carlyle painted picture
of him in his dressing gown smoking a
pipe by the Preside and Mrs. Carlyle
in an armchair sitting opposite him.
The portrait was hung at one of the
Royal academy's exhibitions and,
though not striking work of arr, was
purchased by Lord Ashburton, Car i
lyle's friend, for f500.
The delighted artist hurried off to
the Carlyles, expecting ongratulat lions
on the sale and some manifestation OF
pleasure on their part at having such
a value placed on picture Of them
selves and their domestic interior. He
delivered his glad tidings. but the
only response he got from Carlyle was:
.sWell, mon, $500 was just G495 too
much" s5 s5S5
Browning one day left copy Of his
new poems at Carlyle's house. In
speaking Of this action to Tennyson
the next day Carlyle broke out with a
savage snarl: #
what did that fellow mean by leay-
ing that cart load of stones at my
doorR" al. #3s 4. &
Tennyson himself, though not nearly
so grouchy, as the Chelsea sage, was
yet consid erably of a growler on occa-
sion. Especially did this tendency on
his part become manifest when he sus-
pected disposition on any side to
Honize him. s3
1t is related that at a dinner in Lon
don to which he had gone much
against his will at the solicitation Of
relative the poet laureate soon dis
covered that the company were expect
ing some pearl Of thought from him
He glowered at the gathering in such
a way as visibly to discomfort some of
them. Then, as if purposely to utter
the most unpoetical remark he could
devise, with grim smile he turned to
his hostess all the guests in absolute
silence waiting the slightest word OF
genius and growled out: Z
Madam, like my mutton cut In
chunks in chunks, madam, in chunks! =
Perhaps the greatest crouch of lit
erature was Dean Swift, that whimsi-
cal misanthrope who eyinced morbid
delight in humiliating his social infe-
| riors because he himself when young
| had been outrageously affronted by his
superiors.
/ Swift had acted as private secretary
| to Sir William Temple. Once when
Sir William was confined to his bed
with govt the king, William III, visit
! ed him, and Swift oficiated as his
Il majesty's guide through the gardens
4 of Moor Park. The king taught the
secretary how to cut asparagus in the
Dutch way. and Swift had also the
felicity of seeing him eat the vegetable
Years afterward, when Swift was
n dean Of st. Patrick's cathedral in Dub
/ lin, his publisher, Faulkner, called al
the deanery on business connected
with some proof sheets. Having beer
detained until near dinner time. ht
was pressed by the dean to dine will
him. Asparagus was one of the veg
etables, and the guest asked for
second helping. " 5S#5s
aSir,s snapped Swift, pointing t
Faulkner's plate. first finish what yo'
have upon your platev'
what, sir? Eat the stalks?" asket
the astonished publisher.
"Aye. sir. Eat the stalks or you'll
\ have no more! King William Away
ate his stalks. added the dean in hi
most tmperious manner.
Whareupon the meek Faulkner, yield
ing I'd the DEANS VIII ate the stalk
most subInissiTely. 81
Shortly after the deans death Faull
ner was relating the incident as an 4
q lustration of Swift.s insolence
& aAnd yol were silly enough to- ODE
n him 2" asked some one. 'sysss
A eyes, 2 replied Faulkner, "and let m
4 add, Sir, that IL you had dined wit
Il Dean SWIFT you would have cate
4 your stalks too. ''s'5sz
4 John Hunter, The famous English SUI
\ geon, was ii man of great eccentriclt
and Of most bearish manners Fl
4 wife. a Witty and beautiful wofnai
was the friand Of many distinguishes
h persons OF tha time the eighteenth eeI
tury- her intimate friend being Mn
= d'ArbIay. The two were the rnoyiI
Z spirits Of a sprfghtly salon. But HUI
ter. whose mind was set on science
Z the exclusion of all else, gave scant a
prevail to his wife's pursuits.
On returning home late One erenir