The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-07-14

stand 1t any longer. I had to see my
carcass0nne OF die. The day after my
Wife went to Maine bought me white
flannel suit, surreptitiousIy and guilty.
/ looked over all my other clothes TO
justify myself. Everything / had looked
10 ne dingy and full OF germs. It seemed
TO me I'd done the only hygienic thing.
And 1 was going to show my wife how
clean I'd keep that white suit. Wearing x
was going TO make me a lot more careful
OF my dark clothes. 1t was going to train
me In habits of neatness. I gathered I'D
my blue serge and my gray cheviot and
sent them to the cleaners. That was in
the evening. Early in the morning I
rose and put on my white suit I looked
simply great. The cook brought me my
breakfast, and 1 could see her. admire
me. told her TO boil the eggs hard.
wasn't going to take any chances. She
said they were hard, so airily and jauntily
l whaeked one open. In the twinklIng
Of an eye 1 WAS frescOed with egg all
down the front of my white coat. I wore
winter suit for two days till the cleaner
sent me back my old duds. I briSed the
cook 10 take the white suit away and
never tell my wife. I couldn't bear the
idea Of hearing her say. I told you sog
still, reckon il was worth what it cost
me. for one whole hour I was in my
dreameG-Of Carcassonne."
Il always have a fellow-feeling for a
lawyer who advances the plea OF insan-
ity in favor OF his client" said a member
Of the bar. Il had an experience Of the
sort myself when I was a good deal
younger than I am now, and 7 haven't
forgotten It, It was almost my first case.
In fact, and the evidence against my client
was so extremely convincing that the
only possible way to get him or was 10
convince the jury that he was totally
unbalanced. I won't say that suggested
the idea 10 him, but admit that in talk
ing the matter over may have asked him
whether certain OF his kinsmen hadn't
regulations for ecCentTicity. lie certainly
rose TO the occasion. When he was
brought into court on the first morning
of his trial he was a terrifying sight. He
| had his coat on wrOng-side out, and he
/ had shaved precisely half his head. leav-
ing half Of a shaggy head OF hair and
| half OF a dropping mustaChe He sang
| lullabies to himself and he grinned most
horribly at each juryman who was sworn
in. Now and then he would wink at me
In a most insulting way. and al intervals
he would carol blithely He was GER
! tainly the craziest man that ever came
| into a court Of justice, but his zeal ran
away with him. Everything was moving
smoothly. and I was beginning to feel
that the worst that could happen to him
would be a period OF seclusion in the
State insane asylum was at that time
a member OF the Mississippi bar, and the
State asylum was a sufficiently comfort
able abode for anybody-when he sud
denly gave a whoOp. bounded across the
intervening space. and bit the Judge.
Just for that excess OF zeal he got ten
years II he had contented himself with
biting the foreman of the jury feel sure
| he'd have got on scot-free, but judicial
dignity must be respected. We couldn't
/ make the judge believe that a man who
would go 10 the length OF biting him
wasn't perfectly sane"
/ am tod that Richard Barry, one OF ths
war correspondents who were recently
decorated by the ruler OF Japan. is re-
lating to his friends a story in which he
takes great delight. Once upon q day,
Mr.. Barry says. a boy came into a drug
store and wanted to buy stamp.
"a twO-thent sthamp. If you please"
he said. betraying a not uncommon i'm
| pediment in his speech.
/ The twO-cent stamp was produced.
| viii you plathe put it on Tor meg'
| asked the boy. for, OF course, a druggist
/ is there merely to oblige- The stamp was
duly licked and placed sQuarely and &C
/ curately on the upper Tight-hand corner
Of the envelope. The boy objected 10
/ this, and, taking the envelope, he twisted
\ the stamp till Il was cornerwise. The
/ druggist expressed his surprise at the
/ preference for the obliQue placing. and
| asked ti.e reason therefor.
/ i belO x to a cOTrethpOndeneth school,"
explained the boy, and that" Indicating
/ the stamp. 9TH our college yeI''
MY window box has been rather a dis
appointment to me" says a woman who
lives in one of Washington's few narrow
! streets. When 1 set my plants out they
/ held their heads very nearly perpendicu-
/ lar, and for nearly a week I had the
| benefit Of their blossoms. After that, they
! began TO grow lopsided. bearing away
from the window toward the light The
| buds grew up with their faces turned
away from me. and the only real view
| had Of them was when I went out into
the street and looked up at my second
story windows. I tried my best with
strings TO make those plants grow so I'd
have the benefit Of them, but It wasn't
any use. Day before yesterday, when
was watering them, and regretting THAI
| they persistently turned their backs on
me, I happened to look across at the
window on the other side Of the street I
don't believe I ever noticed my neigh
bors, opposite me. before. have vague
| idea that they haven't lived there long.
| When I looked across, day before yes
| terday, I saw a pinched-faced little girl
/ leaning out the second-stOry window. I
could see a crutch. too, and she had the
old look Of child TO whom a crutch is a
necessity. She was holding up a small
brown Teddy bear, and 1 could hear her
talking to IT,
"'Oh. look, Teddy" she said, shrilly.
| Our geranium has a new flower on st.
| Our geranium. 1 took back all the
selfish things I've ever said about that
window box. It turns it's back on me,
but it blooms for that poor little cripple
across the street"
I shant give the girls name, but she's
! as pretty as a June rose. and she was
| slipping a lemonade out at a suburban re-
sort the other afternoon. A great. gor-
geous black and gold butterfly came CO.
quoting with the flowers on the lawn be-
yond the piazza, and the pretty girls
eyes dwelt on II, dreamily.
How lovelyi" she breathed. TT does
not seem possible that that beautiful but
| terf1y was an ugly tadpole only a little
/ rf,f1