The independent., 1907-01-24
: Mr.. Do0ley on Diplomacy By F. ?: Dmns
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See" said Mr.. Dooley, they've STINT
us new Ambassadure firm England.
I don't hwy tn poor man."
"Isn't it a good job?" asked Mr.. Hem
messy.
SIT used to be-" said Mr.. Dooley. 1t
used to be fine job, If ye were tireo
IN needed a rest Nowthin' to do all
day but kick because Joe Cannon was
let into dinner ahead iv ye an deci0n
wud ye wear tn green an yellow pants
or tn pale blue knee breeches to tn
White House. Hogan says ne see tn
diplomats together wan time In
Wash'n4on. There was a few white men
among thin but tn rest looked like a
muster iv tn Knights iv tn Goolden
Star (colored) on Emancipation Day.
I'm thin good old times tn foreign
nations sint us f'r diplomat something
they cudden't use at home an we sint
thin tn same an nanny iv thin. They
shipped us tn nimber Of noble but
ra1iooced family with a mustache that
looked well on parade but bad In tn
coffee, an had a fine flow iv CONVEX
sation just tn same as door post. We
handed thin back distinguished
statesman who owned clothing store
an fourteen votes an no more in tn
Thirteenth Congressional District iv
Ioway. If he had amy more votes
he'd stay at home an get ilicted Sher-
III or Coroner or to some other office
Nv honor.
"Nayether side got tn bether Nv tn
other. 1t was case all around iv dis
posin' iv what Armour wud call tn
bye product. We made an Ambassa-
dure to Europe iv what was left over
afther tn nommynation iv Con-
gressman. If he was goin' to Eng
land he must know tn name iv Shakes
pere be heart an have an eye r-ready
to leak at a mintion iv that great pote.
TIL damp climate iv tn British Isles
is due to a SUCCESSION iv American
Ambassadures weepin' at cornerstone
loyings an tn openin' iv libries. Whin
tn time come to raturn tn compii-
mint ye'd r-read in tn pa-aper: Sir
ALI Orkins, Consul at Coontown on tn
Fast Coast, in a disgrace with TIL Gov
ernment FIR his attentions to lady tha4
Is considered a sthrikin, brunette even
in Sunny Africa Th' Cabinet is de-
tarmined to punish him severely an
he has been appinted Ambassadure to
tn United States He come over here
an styed a few years. His first act on
landin' was to file a gin'ral demurrer
to th' country an its inhabitants,
which he filed out in detail later on
He wrote home to Chipping Norton
firm time to time regretting that ne
had nowthn' to eat but canvasbacR
ducks an terrypin, an that we cuddent
find amy viggytable marrow, let alone
wrinkles, in this degraded country.
Afther awhile he set down an sint
letter iy advice on American pOllytcks
to an innocint searcher aftier tn truth
in tn employ iv campaign comfy,
an thin he was allowed to go home
be tn first boat.
"Wen, Sir, twas cam an beautiful
life they led Nawthin to worry thin
but th' question iv dhress an Joe Can
non always beatin' thin to tn vittles.
They niver were able to ge in first
They thried to thrip him up, but he
jumped over tn British Ambassadure'
foot. They grabbed his coattails, but
his hunger an dimmycratic TRADITIONS
iy what Hogan calls precedence was
too sthrong FIR thin. Whin they got
into III dining room there he was In
n seat where he cud grab tn first
waiter that come along. Some ~ thim
Turkish Minister has asked to be re-
lieved an have his head cut off. He
SAYS he prefers to die at home. TIL
Prisidint Is very mucl. pleased at tn
appintmint OF Oscar tn Rooshyan
Joynt as Ambassadure firm Rooshya.
He thinks he can make wan hundred
an eighty pounds be tn time tn ripri-
Rintative iv tn Czar prisints his Gre
dintials.
80 We see. Hinnissy, It's no aisy
thing fr tn spilled darlin' iv Europeen
coorts 10 do business around Wash'n-
ton. Who's this new Ambassadure
FIRM tn home iv that part iv our
Anglo-Saxon race that hasn't got Its
vote counted yet. He's Il fine English
asked fr mnn-iv-war Co enfoorce
their demands fr tn first helpin' To
tn cOrnpd beef. but Joe Cannon deiied
thin lie said no fnrriner cud get IN
ahead II him He'd had tn right kind
Ia thrasnin In Nermillion county with
hired man as pacemaker. lilo said
TWAS mpfolN a matther Nv IN start.
lie WAS Oft quicker than tn imported
E. .k..ts .sta