davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03
FUNNY.

Not only amusing, but extremely
funny, are some of the conclusions
which the opponents of Taft try to
draw from the recent endorsement of
his presidential candidacy by the Ohio
Republican state committee, in spite
of the strenuous objections of one
Joseph B. Foraker. TRY to draw is
used advisedly in this connection, for
the conclusions can hardly be called a
success.
Here is the Chicago Inter-Ocean,
for instance, which is booming Uncle
Joe Cannon. 1t sees in the endorse
ment of Taft his final defeat Listen
to this:
las seen from this distance and in
terpreted by the known facts the fac
tonal vote obtained for Mr. Taft is
the sort of victory that forecasts even
tual defeat.
ut is a factionaI victory within the
Republican organization and one
which does not end but continues a
feud. 1t does not even assure Mr.. Taft
three-fourths of the Ohio delegates to
the national convention, and it estab-
fishes a condition which naturally
tends to keep Ohio out of the presi-
Dental race
Yet, strange to say, the people con-
unue to take to the Taft boom in a
remarkable manner, while the Inter-
Oceans candidate is not even regard
ed seriously, except that he might be
able to throw Illinois to the trusts.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03
FAIR INEz.

On, have you saw sweet Inez?
she went into the east
10 splash around in salty waves
ana break six hearts, at least.
Sne took her best clos with her,
our troubles are increased,
AND We must hit the Quick-lunch joints
While she can blithely feast.
Gee, how we miss fair Inex
While she is far awayi
The chief clerk has a solemn look,
He used to be so gay.
Inc boss is grouchy, and heard
Him swearin' yesterday
Because there wasn't no one here
: Knew how to spell sasshay.
Come back. come back, sweet Inez,
To hammer on the keys;
1t seemed like music when you made
Your O's and rs and Els.
Come back and bring your bathin' suit,
Which reaches to your knees:
Come back, wen let you wear II In
The office If you please
THE NEW OFFICE BOY.
-S. F. kiser in the Chicago Record-Her-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03
QUAKER REFLECTIONS

IFrom the Philadelphia Record.1
The bigger the fish the less neces-
sity for lying about IT.
Scandal Is always whispered. but
it must be sort of stage Whisper
Some people have an idea that repair
tee merely consists of saying You're
another"
II a man makes a fortune in sugar
he can't blame his Spendthrift son for
raising Cain.
It may be all right to bow to the
inevitable, but we can't make a thing
inevitable by taking off our hats to it.
The struggling young barrister will
tell his friends that he Is practicing
law when he Is really practicing econ
omy.
Blobbs-'Lucky at cards unIucky
at love, you know" Slobbs-"I donf
see why Both depend largely upon
holding hands"
wigg-"Her conversation is rather
dull, but when she writes letter 1t is
really sparkling" Wagg-"Maybe she
uses fountain pen"
1.-The savage nations will yet be
civilized" remarked the returned mis-
sionary. with high moral teachings
or high explosives?" Queried the
mere man.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03
A SATURDAY SERMON.

A good name is rather to be chosen
than great riches.-Proverbs 22;1
A few days ago the dispatches told
of a Chicago stock broker who has
Just sent checks to pay off the last of
large amount of Indebtedness which
accrued against him in financial
crash away back in 1893. and for
which he was in no way legally liable.
1t is exceedingly refreshing to read
an item like that among all the
stories of crime and wrong-doing
which the news columns contain. The
pity is that it Is so unusual as to make
it news. The ordinary and common
place is not news. One incident of
this kind, however, goes far towards
restoring the faith in humanity which
stories of greed and rapacity have
well nigh destroyed.
One does not expect such high
ideals of right and honor as this in
the fierce competition and struggle
for wealth that is continually going
on on the board OF trade. Yet this is
the second time this stock broker has
worked and labored to pay off debts
which he was not legally bound to
pay.
E. w Bailey is the name of this
unusually honest man, and he comes
of good old New England stock.
Years ago he went to Chicago and en-
gagged in business. but early reverses
caused by an unfortunate deal made
by a partner. swept his savings from
him and for twelve years he labored
to pay or old debts and get another
start. In 1893 he had succeeded in
doing so and had built up good
business in the Chicago stock mar
ket. Then came the Cudahy pork
deal, when John Cudahy failed for a
million and a half and many others
were carried down with him. Among
others was z. w. Bailey, whose for
tune was swept away. leaving him
$4,000 worse off than nothing.
Two experiences of this kind would
be enough to discourage the ordinary
mortal, but Mr.. Bailey again went to-
work; and although he had settled
with his creditors in bankruptcy.
leaving them with no legal claim up
on him, he has steadfastly labored to
pay off all of those old outlawed debts
Of 1ss3-and the last has just been
paid.
The satisfaction that comes from
having done what ones conscience
dictated is alone worth much more
the treasures Ln0 POSSESSION Oh
money could bring; but aside from
that, the reputation which E. w.
Bailey possesses today as a result of
doing what he believed to be right is
worth many times what he paid
for it.
Yet how frequently men do the ex-
act opposite! How they wriggle and
twist to get out of paying, not only
inst debts hut legal ODaSr How fhev
try to get the better of their fellows
in all sorts of financial deals, consid-
ering any sort of trickery and fraud
justif1able If it wins and does not get
them into serious trouble,
Possibly. however, real honesty is
not so scarce as it seems. There are
doubtless a vast number of people
with high ideals of honor, but few
of them are called on to test those
ideals to such an extent as was this
Chicago broker. Still, there are en-
tirely too many who are apparently
without any ideals at ALL
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Down in st. Louis the club women
propose TO have husbands hour in
tne quiet and peacefulness of their
homes. in which they will discuss poll
ucs, economics, and kindred themes
with their husbands and make
themselves real Kindred Spirits. But
wouldn't it be just like the mean men
to want to read the paper or go down
town just at that particular time?
NJ x y
incidentally, we would like to know
what erect the thread trust has on Mr.
A G. Stitch, of Independence.
4
THE Art of Handling Men" is the
title OF piece in the Saturday Evening
Post The average woman knows five
times as much about it as is told in
that article, which is written by a mere
man about how to get other men to
work.
If the Gould family buys another
prince for Anna instead of fixing up
the Missouri Pacific in Kansas, Kansas
is liable to get pretty mad about 1t.
X X
The fire eater at Coney Island must
have had square meal when that con-
flagration happened there the other
da-.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
From the Chicago News

From the Chicago News.
Don't give up just because you hap
pen to be down.
The slow-going dray horse lands
more coin than the average race
horse.
spinsters do not believe in taxing
bachelors; they believe In mailing
them.
If a mans acquaintance are unable
to discover that he is in love he isn't.
Every man would be a prohibition
list If there wasn't anything but water
to drink.
Lots of voters would have to think
for themselves IL it wasn't for the
political bosses
Attend to your own affairs and you
will have no time to butt into the af-
fairs of your neighbors.
Men accuse women OF being vain,
vet a man seldom misses an oppor-
tunity to look in a mirror.
From the spinster's point Of view, a
mercenary wretch is a bachelor who
rnarries a rich widow.
A girl is no sooner safely married than
she begins to wonder how long it will
be until she becomes a widow.
If man is satisfied to make both
ends meet he is sure to have a wife
who thinks he ought to make them
lap over.
Friendship may have the true ring,
but II isn't the kind of ring that is
calculated. to satisfy the girl who is in
love.
It's almost as difficult to believe
the nice things you hear of others as
1t is easy to believe the nice things
others say Of you. scl
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03
FROM OTHER PENS
HEROES.

Heroes? The world is, and has always
been full of them. Otherwise the little
ball could not have been rolled around
SO successfully. Mr.. Fairbanks rescue
of a drowning girl, and Mr.. Bryan's
timely aid to woman caught in an au-
tomobile accident, creditable as both
performances are, should not be cele-
brated by perfervid admirers at the ex-
pepse of other presidential aspirants. We
must have square deal even in CUFF.
Where is the man with soul so dead.
or heart so aard, or noddle SO soft, who
dares to take the ground that in similar
circumstances our Uncle Joe Cannon, or
Judge Taft or William Randolph Hearst,
or Wall streets good southern man"
would not have shown the same high
qualities? All alike are of the heroic
mold. And all alike banker after a
chance" to rescue Miss Columbia from
her present peril-Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03

Id ISIS said dot Raisuli. der banditty.
ISIS really a fine Teller, NIT a peaceaple
disposishun, but times vas so hard in
Morocco dot he simply had to go .ndo
der holdt-oop bitzness to bay expenses.
Dis may. be all. right, but didn't know
dey had gas bills in Morocco.
Cabta:ng Cladhamilton VIII possibly
be candydate fer stade senyter from
dis district. regardlessly uf der feet dos
We hat nod heard from Defernulfane or
der soopchect.
Won may gadder dot der headkvarters
uf der Liar-Bund hat peen moofed from
Washington to Kanzaszitty bolice circles.
Bleas opserf dot i'd vas a chenille.
sofd-ge-speaginE old colored man, uni
nod a cidy bolicemans, vich cached und
shooted der burglar.
A Enklish Egypty-ettymololig hat
decited dot der late Misder Rameses der
Two-spot, uf Egypt, vas a fraud, und
hat caused to be published der state
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
[From the New York Press.l

An awful nice thing about curly
hair on a girl Is when 1t Is resting on
your shoulder.
girl is prouder of being engaged
than She ever will be afterward OF be-
ing married.
A bachelor can become very fond OF
spending his nights at the club by get
ting married.
A chaperon can be very useful to
young people II she has anybody to
fiirt with herself.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS.
HOME NEWS WHILE AWAY.

Subscribers OF the State Journal
away during the summer may have
the paper mailed regularly each day
to any address at the rate of ten cents
a week or thirty cents a month (by
mail only. Address changed as often
as desired. While out of town the
State journal will be to you like n
daily letter from home.
Advance payment is requested on
these short time subscriptions, to save
bookkeeping expense.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03

be In much better shape in Missouri
than Is the same road in Kansas. the
management lost no time in fixing
matters. The board finds that the
road in Missouri, while not satisfac-
tory. is 50 much improved as to be
comparatively safe, and 1t gives the
management ninety days in which to
complete the good work. In the mean
time, is anything being done in Kan
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03

Foraker proposes that the presidential
question in Ohio be settled at the pri-
naries. but you will notice that he real
ly wants the primaries to elect dele
gates to a convention, after which the
convention will settle it. Incidentally
the convention will be run by the poll
ticfans
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03

Kansas City is having a terrible
time these days over a shake-up in its
police department, a police commits
sioner having been removed because
he proposed to reappoint Chief Hayes,
and everybody with a friend on 1.-The
force" is excited When will it be pos
eible to run police department as we
do a fire department, making ef-
dciency and good work the test?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03

Attorney Richardson refuses to be
associated any longer in the Boise
murder cases. There is a suspicion.
however. that neither Richardson nor
barrow secured the verdict in the
Haywood case A man named Or
chard may have had more to do with
It than any OF the lawyers.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03

The title OF W. R. Stubs Chautau-
qua speech is. Industrial. Political and
Commercial Conditions in the United
States" 1t cannot be truthfully assert
ed that Mr.. Stubs does not cover
enough ground.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03

Georgia goes further than Kansas
IN its new prohibitory law. The only
intoxicant it allows in the state is pure
alcohol. Druggists are allowed to sell
that, under the usual conditions. but
no other intoxicants can be sold I'M
der any circumstances. Georgia evil
IDENTIFY does not propose to adopt any
halfway measures
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03
TARIFF REVISION.

there will be no tariff revision until
after the next election. The Republi-
can party is in danger of playing that
card once too often, and is going to get
caught some day. It would be the
joke of manv years If the Democrats
were to make =az.better promise to re-
wise the tariff than the Republicans
do. and win On that platform.-Mil-
waukee Free Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03
A PEACE PROPHECY.

One of the scientists predicts that in
three thousand years peace will reign
supreme throughout the world. Per-
haps this is the opinion that prevails
at The Hague peace, conference. The
learned statesmen are giving more at
tention just now to the production of
a bullet that will not hurt than to
measures for the peace of all nations.
Utica Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03

Very likely Harry Thaw wonders why
he couldn't have secured a verdict like
the one given Haywood. as long as he
had the money to pay the lawyers.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03

You can hardly blame Foraker for not
being for Taft, inasmuch as he is only
waiting for little coaxing to become a
candidate himself.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03

The defeat of Governor Vardaman
for United States senator from Missis-
gippf is another indication that the
South isn't as bad as 1t might be.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03

American school teachers returning
from the Orient say the Japanese are
sketching British Notifications in IN
dia also. What does Captain Rich
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03

mendt. Oop to a lade hour dis alder
noon none uf Rams relatifs hat filed
SANDER suit er challenched der perfesser
to a dool. From vich We gadder der
golden text fer dis Sunday: Him vich
picks trouble m ait noder Won does veil
to choos a ood-und-dead Won, yet.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03
AT TT ALREADY.

A London dispatch says that Japan
the United States or any other strong
power. That is all right, but are not
the Nichi Nichi and the various Shin
buns already at war and fighting the
United States tooth and nail ?-Savan-
nah News
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03

The prosecution announces that it will
go ahead and try Meyer and Pettibone
Just as though Haywood had not been
acquitted. But where will it get its
Jurors?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03

Now that they are saying that old
Rameses the Second was a fraud and
a pretender, Rameses can sympathize
with w. r. Stubs.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03

Rev. Mr.. Orchard. of Fort Scott, re-
sents the story that he is a. brother of
Harry Orchard. He bears different
kind OF fruit.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03

Governor Glenn. of North Carolina, evil
IDENTIFY does not worship at the shrine Of
the railroad magnate.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03

Over in Missouri where the railroad
board put a speed limit on the Mis-
souri, Pacific's trains until the track
should be fixed, although It Is said to
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03

Roosevelt is charged with stealing
Bryan's platform, and Bryan is accused
Of swiping a few planks from Debs. 1t
looks as though Debs is really the man
with the Grievance
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03
NOT PREsCRIBED.

The newspaper jokers have a heap TO
say about the bathing suit; but there
IS nothing in the unwritten law defnirg
the dimensions of bal hing suit.-Kno1r
Nille Journal and Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03

Pittsburg came close to getting into
this Colorado Springs scandal and
tragedy. One of the principals came
from Pennsylvania.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03

As we understand 1t, Rameses II
was a prominent member of the
Ananias club in his day
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03
KOREAN CALM.

1t may be The Land of the Morn
ing Calm. but the most desirable i'm
ner1al possession imaginable in Seoul
u fcycieBe cellar--Philadelph
North American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03

Id hat peen suggested dot perhaps der
Cooneyilandt fire vas caused py spon-
tany-yus combustifcation uf some uf
dem red-hot swimming suidts.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03

Very likely the powder trust feels
like exploding.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03

we may think we have some politics
in this state, but just look at what they
have in Ohio.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03
CANADIAN DISCRETION.

A Canadian newspaper, probably az
fected by the heat, remarks that
sound thrashing would do the United
States good. It discreetly refrains
from suggesting a power to inf1ict it
Albany Evening Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03

Rr,tt iss declared" victor. vich calls
RI mind der old saying dot a visitor
noust knock der natif son to sleep In
C.aIifrny, uf he wants decision.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03

Der Holy war" at Tangier. we're some
Erenchmans und Eyetalians vas seier-
a+ed from DER heads, reminds us uf des
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03

Rockefeller, in gazing hiss Sunday
schooI class some goot atwice. iss re-
norded to hat spogen so:- ICED away
from der butterfly pursuits uf life und
defote YOUR life to doing goot to dose
orondt YOU" From der past reccore uf
Afisder Rockefeller, We gadder dot der
words good to" yer inserted py mis-
take.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03
THE HAYWOOD VERDICT.
A GOOD POLICY.

Why doesn't some trust try to show
the public how good it can be to pop
uIar interests? There is big money IN
a, business policy that keeps everybody
satisfied-ParsonS Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03

From der pictoor uf der Kink Alfonsy
baby vich ISIS named der Prince uf der
Castorias, er someding like dot, Won may
opserf dot der stork on der Spain beat
ISIS no bedder pervider den any oder
stork. Id looks very much like der
comon err garden variety uf kid vtch ISIS
customary in dis coundry.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03

Some K. U. professors hat cabtured a
new collection uf bugs. In DER search,
howefer dey haf failed to dake SAMPLES
uf our cidy-chail collection. und dey are
hereby United to rectify der Oversight
Der cidy can spare some nice specimens
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03

Misder Dukes mixture, uf Moo Cher
sey. pumped all der vasser oudt uf a
rifer to make duck pond on hiss farm,
derepy stopping a mill er two und put
ting a gang uf comon peoples on der
hum. I aindt sorry fer der dubs vich
allow him to do dis, but am sorry fer
der tousands uf fellers vich somoked
enough uf hiss rotten tobacco to enaple
him to build dot duck pond NIT der
profits.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03

Der chendleman Yich sold a brass
brick fer $4,000 in Sout McAllister. 1. T.,
should close hiss circuit in Topeka. Be
sure, misder gold-bricker. to make dis
your lasd date. We ISIS easy to fam
film, but We make a awful holler ven We
ISIS touched, und der bitzness ISIS der
fore spoiled.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03

Ven Greek meets Greek dere ISIS some
show fer bot uf dem, but i'd appears
from n dispadge from Athens dot ven
Greek meets ffdy-sefen varieties uf
Turks he iss oud-classed und wiped OUT
der map.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03

Tomorrow Gofernoer Hoch will spread
hiss gospel over patch uf Heather
Colorado Saindt Paul used to make
pill grimages like dot, but der ISIS some
doubt yedder or nod der Epistles uf
Hoch Will Iif es long es der lade Satndt
Pauls ledders to der E-phesians.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-03

Some uf der residents uf Girard iss
awful sorry dot dot baddle-shibp cannon
egspIosion didntndt postpone ids date to
catch der socialists vot celebradtioned
der Haywood verdict.
The Eureka sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1902-current, 1907-07-06
HILL news ITEMS

Leonard Rosevear left on Monday to
visit relatives at Oakland. Cal.
Leroy Kelsey arrived on Tuesday
from Tecoma. Exc County, to spend
the Fourth here.
Thomas Jury left Monday for a visit
with his sister, Mrs. VIM. Jury, at
Battle Mountain.
The miners on Ruby Hill were given
a three days lay of for the Fourth.
Work stopped at noon ON Wednesday
and will be resumed on Saturday at
noon
Last Monday Mr.. and Mrs. @. Gar
land, A. Coal and VIM. Sharp departed
for Salt Lake to spend the Fourth. Mrs
Garland will visit at Bingham before re-
turning.
The Eureka sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1902-current, 1907-07-06
linn kntler Visits Eureka

Jim Butler of Tonopah came in from
Fish Greek Wells in his automobile.
Mizpah, Monday forenoon. His visit
to Eureka was for the purpose OF renew
ing his acquaintance with his old fell
lowtownsmen and getting some supplies.
Mrs. Butler did not come on to Eureka.
but remained at the Wells. lie says
he and Frank X. Smitt are interested in
some mining claims in Fish Greek
Wells Mining District. and develop
ment work is now being done on them.
The ore carries gold. silver and lead
values, and several tons of ore are now
on the damp ready for shipment. Mr..
Butler left for Fish Creek Monday
afternoon.