The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-01-13

good terms with James, the Coach man. +-
 You take a Boy who has to get up at a. m. in Winter and dig the Saw buck out of Snow Bank and who usually gets a pair of Warm Mttens for Christmas, and there Is nothing that could cheer him more than to read about Rollo. who always had a Clean Collar and spoke gently to the Servants.
 Rollo undoubtedly went to College and he must have been beloved by all his Classmates. for he had an overde- veloped Conscience and a Moral Ma ture of such gigantic proportions that he got stoop- -shouldered carrying 1t around.
 He never joined in any of the Wild Franks of the Rowdy Element, and. of course, to be consistent, he had to assist the Faculty in maintaining Discipline. The Conscience kept throbbing like a. last years Automo- bile, and 1t would not permit him to shield any Wrong-Doers. So the reg ular pipe smoking Comanches thought he was as nice a Fellow as ever pol- soned a we'll.
 Rollo went into Business and he was so Good that he never tried to put through a Pooling Agreement or grao off the secret Rebate from Trans portation Line, until his Lawyer had assured him that there was no danger of being Pinched
 Tn order to protect the Young Men from the Country who were on his Payroll he laid out the Hours for them so that when they quit Work they had just enough time to go home and get some Sleep. Thus he kept them out of Pool Roms and Variety Theatres.
 By repressing all of his natural in stincts and putting into other peoples Affairs to stamp out Wickedness and disinfect Society, Rollo at last reached the Goal of Every Little Boy. who starts out by rolling Hoop and say ing "Yes, ma'am" to the Lady Princi- pal. That is, he got so many Scads that even the Assessor could not keep track of what he had put away.
 And Elsie. she was ever so Success full, likewise.
 Elsie in her Pinafore Days was so keyed-up in her ideas of Right and Wrong that whenever she became ex- cited and angry and exclaimed "Oh. iimpson weedw she would afterward go to her Room and cry for an Hour at a time.
 At the age of thirteen she would rather sit at home and crochet Muf- flers for the Filipinos than go to Dancing School and learn the Boston Dip.
 Elsie never chewed Gum or put a Rat under her Hair. Just give her Wax Doll and a, volume of Emerson's Essays and she would be as Hapy as Lark.
 We have learned from a careful study of Juvenile Fiction that such Sweet Child always blossoms into Perfect Womanhood and rides in a swell open Carriage, smiEng pleasant ly at the People who have to walk.
 And, of course, she Marries We'll. Elsie is the only one of her kind who ever came through the Press and therefore she is entitled to the grand est little Husband that Money can buy.
 She realizes the full ambition of every pure-minded American Girl whose inmost Soul is frothing with Social Ambitions.
 She marries Lord Rottington just in time to save him from going on the Stage and gets her picture in the Pa pers twice-hrst when she goes down the long chute to where the Bishop is waiting, and second. when his Lord- ship chases her across the country striking at her with a Niblick.
 She pays whatever she can spare for a Legal Separation, but they can't take the Title away from her because she has had that sewed on.
 So Rollo has the Long Green. and Elsie is Grass Peeress. which proves that all Little Boys and Girls should behave and abstain from doing any, thing that they really went to do