Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-19
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Iother in this CROWDS Sketch.
Husband dear Emily. why is it
am always In the wrong? Wlfe-Be-
cause 1 am always In the right
Quips.
Elderly COanette-I don't like this
furniture. II isn't suitable for my
style. Dealer--What do you say TO
something antique?-Life.
What are you in such great hurry
forT' II am going to the funeral of
my chief, and there is nothing he hates
like unpurctuallty Fly Leaves.
A race of men who had never be-
fore seen n white man have been dis
covered in the arctic region. They will
live to regret the incident.-MexIcan
| Herald
But, captain, the most happy mar
riages are often made between people
who are quite opposites.' THAT is the
reason why am looking out for Il rich
wife dallas Post.
The Strenuous Life-Teacher- How
/ long had Washington been dead when
Roosevelt was inaugurated? Scholar
! i dunno, but it hasn't been very
dead since Teddy has been there
DO you intend TO inaugura:e any
great reforms this year, Senator?' ask
ed the beautiful girl. "No," replied the
statesman. my present term viii not
expire until 09"-~Chlcago Record
Herald.
AND shall you carry out your plan
OF visiting Blue Grotto at Capri this
year, Frau Lammer3" "Alas, no.
Frau Splits; we are in mourning this
summer. so we are going to the Back
! Forest" Figaro.
How much postage win this re-
quref" asked the young author. 1T is
one of my manuscripts" 1.-TWO cents
an ounce answered the post Office
clerk That's first-class matter" "Ch,
thank you Judge.
American Tourist tsusplciously) -
| Say guide, haven't we seen this room
before? Guide-Oh, no, Monsieur.
Tourist Well, see here We want to
see everything, but we don't want to
see anything twice London Punch.
An Authority Doctor Ito Pats
wife, after examining Pat, who had
been run down by an auto) Madam,
/ fear your husband is dead. Pat tfee-
hly)- / ain't dead yet. Pats Wife
Hush, Pat. the gentleman knows bet
ter than you
Dangers OF Speech Young Boston,
ian. who has married country wife:
My dear, | am going down to NJ, Ar
besque's tonsorlal parlors for a few
minutes She-Oh, Charlie dear! there
isn't anything the matter with your
tOnsils, is there?
The food inspectors vile was 'ook-
ing over her husbands notebook.
George" she said chow do you pro-
nounce the last syllable of this word
'butterlne'p" '"The last syllable" the
Inspector answered, as always silent
st. Louis Globe Democrat.
Did ye get damages fer being In
that railway accident, Bill?' Sure
| fifty dollars for me and fifty fer the
missus" ''Fhe missus? | didn't hear
| she was hurt" "She wasn't: but |
had the presence o mind to fetch her
one on the head with me foot."-Har-
per's Weekly.
Mamma. what's the use of putting
all those things for the baby in that
/ sterilizing machineY "Why, Willie, so
that no bad germs will enter his sys-
tenn" That's what l thought. But
know an easier way" Whats thatY"
why, while you were out l sterilized
the baby life.
First Clerk-Say, Bella, do you re-
member the swell fellow who uscd to
come in every day last year, give US
good jolly, and buy candy for his
grandmother? Second Clerk Yes; be
doesn't come any more. Is his grand
mother dead? First Clerk-No; he's
married to her. Harper's Weekly
II sent you the plans for the porte
| cochere and grand entrance" Logan
the architect who was building Nu-
ritch's palatlal mansion. Yes inter
| rupted Nuritch, land what DO you
mean by PUTIN 'SalNe over the upoF!
Don't you try TO run in no patent raed-
cine ads ON me philadelphia Press.
Automobiles (to another who has
broken DOWN Can | be Of any assist
ance to you? The Afflicted One (under
the machine) Yes, sir. That lady you
see is my wife. IN be obliged II you
viii kindly answer her questions and
/ keep her amused while I'm fixing this
/ Internal machine. WOmans Home
/ Companion.
/ Maria" said Mr.. Quigley. entering
his home in some excitement Il want
you 20 promise me not to look at the
popers for the next three months."