Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-03-30

Representative Charles A. Towne tells this
story on himself:
Hs was a speaker at a banquet The
toastmaster. in introducing him. referred to
his service in both the United States SEN
ate and the House of Representatives.
He will tell us how they compare, con-
Cluded the POSTMASTER.
II found them both on the level. replied
the representative.
But not on the square?" quickly inter-
jeCted the master of ceremonies, question
ingly.
Representative Edward De v. Morrell of
Pennsylvania. who retired from Congress
at the close of the last session. Is not gen.
orally suspected of having active and
beTligerent sense of humor. But his wealth
his distinguished ancestry and his beaux
yeux have been considered to make up for
this defect. Now, however. group OF his
friends who went to the races with Mr..
Morrell the other day are readjustlng their
Judgment OF the gentleman from Philadel-
phla
MIR Morrel was standing In front Of the
club house at Benning one day last week
he IL a director of the Jockey Club-when
a bumptious middle-aged person. clad in
noisy raiment walked up to him and with
out any prelimnares remarked:
Il want to get In the club 1 was In
Nited here by a friend. Maybe you can
tell me where to find him. DO you know
member of this club with one eye called
Matthew
Mr. Morrell looked the stranger over. and
studied a moment while he smoothed his
Iron gray muStache.
Pardon me-" he said at length. "but
would you mind telling me the name of his
other eye?
She WAS certainly a sweet young thing.
a1tnnupf, this morning n trif3e
pale and rundown in appearance. But she
ran up the four or five steps to the door of
her DOCTORS office. rang the bell. smiled at
the maid and hurried in to see her practi
toner. who happens to be one of the new
school, fresh air. lots Of fresh air, more
fresh air disciples.
All" said the physician in his best pro-
frssional tone you are looking better. Not
quite we'll yet, but better: vastly better
Wen have your digestion in such shape
pretty soon that you can eat anything that
that athletic brother of yours will tackle
Fresh air will cure anything. l confess
though, that | expected to see even great
er change In your appearance. Have you
followed my instruction implicitly? Have
you slept In room with all the windows
wide ppen?"
"Oh, yes, doctor" replied the sweet young
thing.
With just the amount of covering I pre-
scribed %
Yes doctor"
And have you slept as told you. with
out mattress and with only a sheet over
the wire spring. so that there would be a
free circulation of air.
We'll doctor" said the sweet young
thing s only did that one night"
Why was that asked the physician
severely.
The sweet young thing giggled and
blushed and giggled again.
Il just couldn't do 1t but once" she said
at length. with more bushes and gigg,es. I
felt foolish. Why, IT made me look just
like waffle"
Assistant Corporation Counsel James L.
Pugh is always ready to play joke on any
OF his friends and, according to genial Lum
Harper. chief assistant to Clerk Potts. he
seems to take a special delight In 'devling''
him. According to Mr.. Harper, about the
worst Mr.. Pugh ever did was some years
ago when Judge Miller was on the bench
and Gen" CoXey's army was In town.
The court Ina received several letters stat
ing that If the general was sent down to
the workhouse that the courthouse would
b. ''dynamited." So one morning after
Coxey had gotten what Judge Miller
thought was coming to him, Mr.. Pugh
came into the lower court room with a giant
frecracker. which looked all the world like
fake for the reason that it was covered
with advertising. He laid 1t on the clerk 8
desk. Mr. Harper contemplated it for a
moment and as 1t was before the opening Of
the lower court, he was smoking a cigar.
In a moment he touched the light to the
fuse and watched 1t burn. while Mr.. Pugh
just stepped back and 'laffed. Balif Cole
WAS standing with his back to the desk and
Mr. Harper, not watching. when the cracker
exploded like cannon. Officers rushed
into the court room. thinking some one had
been shot. and word was brought down
stairs in moment that Judge Miller who
had been hearing case from the bench.
had Jumped about six feet" 1t is said
that he thought the place was being blown
up by the friends OF Coxey. and when Mr.
Harper came up stairs few moments later
to explain that il was not an anarchistic
attempt. but a prank of Jim Pugh" he
said lie felt much relieved and hoped It
would not occur again. Nowadays, II the
prosecutor comes in with a shooting