Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1907-07-29
PARENTAL
CONTROL
is GONE
(By Helen Oldfield.)

: things pretty much their own way
with regard to courtship and mar
riage. Fathers of the present day
do not hold the situation in the hol-
low of their hand, as did the pater-
nal parent of the past. With the girl
of the period to deal with he cannot
enshrine her far from men, nor,
should a man 70 whom he objects
as son-in-law, fall in love with his
daughter, can he compel her to say
him nay.
Not only every man but prac-
tically every woman is free to marry
as inclination, tempered of course by
opportunity, prompts. Which is to
say that no one can be coerced eth
er in marrying or prevented from
spouse, or other obstacle according
to their will. II Barkis is willing
and Peggotty also; IL both candi-
dates for matrimony are of legal age
and sound mind and II no lawful
limpediment in the way of another
spouse, or other obstacle according
to the law of the land exists, the
people may become man and wife,
and no other man or woman is able
to say them nay. Disappearing
friends may demonstrate until voice
and speach fail; irate parents moy
disown the pair and cut them of
with the traditional shilling, but so
long as they are really determined
TO be married they can be. Neither
friend nor relative has power to
prevent.
There are no lettres de cachet
nowadays for youths whose matri-
monial intentions are contrary 10
the views of fathers, wise or other
wise; neither is II possible to sepa-
rate fond Angelina from a persist
ent Edwin. and force her to become
the unwilling bride of a more elig-
ible sultor. Provided, always, that
Angelina is faithful and Edwin per-
sistent. Even II the couple, by rea-
son of immature age. cannot legally
marry without the parental consent.
II is only a matter OF waiting until
time puts the matter into their hands.
Unfortunately 1--WE ne'er see we'll
what we're standing on" and on
lockers often have a clearer view
than those Immediately concerned.
The proverb that "As you make your
bed. so must you lle," holds good
now as ever, but people are at full
liberty to spread thorns and thistles
upon their couches, If they insist up
on so doing. and regard them as
beautiful and unfading blossoms, dis
regarding the counsel OF wiser heads
than their own. Those who love
them and forsee the painful conss-
quences, are powerless to prevent the
misguided choice. The doctrine OF
individuality has been far too well
conned by the modern daughter 70
admit of drastic treatment OF the
old fashioned variety from the mod
ern parent, and when gentle entreaty
and moral suasion prove Intellectual,
practically nothing can be done.
"If willful will to water,
Willfal must TO wet"
For these reasons little aid or COM
fort can be given 10 those who write
desiring advice how best TO prevent
a dear girl" from throwing herself
away upon a man who is wholly un-
worthy of her" If affectionate re-
monstrance and patient endeavor 10
open her eyes upon the part of those
whom she has every cause TO know
have her best interests at heart are
of no avail, there would seem to be
nothing left but to try 10 make the
best of what cannot but be bad bar
gain, and 10 stand by" as they say
in the navy, and help II II be possible
when the worst comes.
One thing. however, always must
be remembered-yiz that open and
violent opposition TO a marriage in
variably does more harm than good.
Conan Doyle makes one of his minor
characters say: IF ye forbid lassie
to dae onything. MS just the sures
way of bringing 1t aboot. The Lord
foond that DOT in the garden o. Para
disc, and there's no muckle change
between the folk in Eden and the
folk in Wigtown." Not only is there
this inherent taste for forbidden
fruit but opposition rarely fails to
awaken a sense OF martyrdom which
will 80 far to strengthen the mis-
placed affection; while, with ju-
dicious Indifference OF mild and
doubling tolerance Il might have died
.