The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1907-11-08

HOW Is I1e new HOuSe yOu Ic Duiiu-
Ing coming on?' VERY we'll. We've
Just reached the second mortgage
Life.
John, why are you raising that win
dow? Don't you know l will be unable
to speak above whisper by mornlngT
"Yes. Houston Post.
"0nce l wrote my name on an egg"
did you get letter, Maude?' "Yes;
two years later from an actor
Louisville Courler-Journal.
Redd-See the picture l had taken
In my automobile? Greene-Yes. NAT
ural, don't you think so?" very. The
machine Is standing still."-Yonkers
Statesman.
Fifty Years Hence.-"Run, boysl
Here comes that old nuisance"
Whats the matter with hlm? He
remembers the spring of 1907."-Wash-
ington Herald.
Nimrod-Are you fond of huntlngl
Gyer-It all depends. Nimrod-De-
pends on what? Gyer-Whether am
hunting game or collar button.-Chi-
cago Daily News.
Literal.-"What have you got In the
shape Of cucumbers this mornings"
asked the customer of the new gro
Gerry clerk. Nothing but bananas,
ma Fam. m."-Everybody's
Little Fred-Why is it that women
are always complaining about their
servants? Little Elsle-0h, that's just
to let people know they can afford to
have 'em.-Chlcago News.
Marryat-So that great inventor Is
dead, and his wonderful secret Is lost.
Newitt-Not at all. He told his wife
just before he died. Marryat-Yes'
that's what mean.-Philadelphia
| Press.
whats the difference between vision
! and sight?" "See those two girls across
the street?o Yes "Well, the pretty
one would call vision, but the other
one-shes a sight. t.'-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Darling" he said, what would you
do If / should die? Tell me" please
don't suggest such thing" said his
wife. L can't bear the thought of o
stepfather for our little boy. Brook
lyn Life.
| Church, see a prisoner in Jersey
prison has been allowed the use Of his
fiddle in the face of the remonstrance
of the keepers family. Gotham-Whos
being punished, anyway - Yonkers
Statesman.
The boarding house keeper said to
the servant preparing the dinner
MARY will the strawberries &c
aroundP" Hardly, num-" replied the
: servant. There's one strawberry
short. Judge.
"Bnt are you sure" he asked, that
you love me for myself?" "How can
YOU ask me that, dear?' she reproach'
fully answered. II would marry you
even If you hadn't more than $75O,OO0.'
Chicago Record Herald.
MA, sis is just home from the hair
dresser's, and she's In Il tearing rage
What's wrecked her temper?" TN
not sure, but | rather think 1t was
head-on collision caused by misplaced
SWITCH Baltimore American.
Knicker-There are plenty of book
telling how to save life while wait
; ing for the doctor. Bocker-Yes Wha
i we need is one telling the young docto
how to save his life while waiting 70
: the patient Harper's Bazaar.
Owner of Motor Car Ito chauffeur
| Have you a recommendation fron
!, your last employer? Chauffeur-Nt
g sir; but can get one In the course o
s a month or so. Owner Of Motor Car
t Why the delay2 Chauffeur-He's !
t the hospltal.-Tit-Bits
Judge said Mrs. Staryem to tn
Y magistrate who had recently come t
) board with her, I'm particularly anA
/ ious to have you try this chicken soup.
e II have tried It," replied the magil
trate, "and my decision Is that tn
; chicken has proven an alibi."--TraV
L cling Mans Magazine.
: A couple Of men were chatting In
9 club smoking room about friend an
his motor. HE seems to be very we
satisfied with It." remarked one. "ol
yes. Hasn't paid copper In repair
!. all the nine months he's had 1t, ne tel
/. me-" HIN! / heard the same stor
" from the fellow who's done all the r.
4-u Ttfo