Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1907-06-18
MAYOR RHETT TO THE EDITORS.
Humorous Welcome From charleston's
Popular Mayor.

OF the assembling or the state PreSS
association at the Isle Of Palms last
Thursday morning, will be read with
interest and amusement. It was espe-
cially enjoyed by the editors:
Gentlemen Of the South Carolina
Press Association: 1t was Sir Henry
Irving think, who said that the ac-
tor and the politician constitute the
steady diet Of the press. I presume
that baseball and sweet girl graduates
should be classed as summer dishes,
and Evelyn Thaw as a special relish.
I don't know how Sir Henry felt about
the way the first course was served in
his day, but I am somewhat familiar
with the manner in which our press Of
South Carolina dresses and serves up
the politician. I am supposed to be in
that class myself, though I have had
it impressed upon me not infrequently
that I was a 'darned poor specimen
When get fresh am properly salted.
When get weak I am treated with
pepper. When I grow lax am sea-
soned with ginger. When take edi-
torial hints am served up with sugar
and cream. When rank and raw am
properly roasted. and whenever sue
cessful am handsomely toasted.
"In fact, the press Of South Carolina
have become such skilled news cooks
that there is not one Of US who would
not starve his palate before he'd de-
prive himself Of the daily food served
up to him by his favorite editors.
Now I want you to know that I
tried my best to save you from this. I
even told the committee thought you
very rightly felt outraged that I had
taken advantage Of similar occasion
last year to give you a dose Of rail-
roads. A few weeks ago Governor
Hayward, commenting on the address
had just concluded in response to
one Of the toasts at T. P. A. banquet
In Anderson, on railroads, Of course,
told the story that at a public execu-
ton In Charleston the condemned man
was asked by the sheriff II he had
anything to say before he was hanged.
The reply being, No. he was about to
adjust the cap when Mayor Rhett
arose and said: Mr.. Sheriff, IL you
have no objection would like to oc-
cupy the time Of the prisoner with a
few remarks on the subject of rail-
roads, You see, 1t was time I was
growing sensitive on my Rooseveltian
tactics Of utilizing occasions for pur-
poses not always pertinent or appro-
pirate.
Before leave the subject of the
politician would like to ask the MEM
bers OF the press who are present II
any Of them know just where we DEM
ocrats are at. The Republicans have
been hopping and skipping and even
turning somersaults in a vain effort to
keep afioat upon the battered planks
which once constituted their platform.
Teddy seems to have had such a lik-
Ing for some OF those In the Demo-
cratic platform that he annexed them
and has been ever since dancing on
them In great glee. And what's more,
he has been making many Of his au-
gust party do the same, though some
how they don't seem overjoyed with
the performance.
II heard story the other day which
illustrates the situation not badly. A
young man who applied for admission
to the bar was told he had failed on
all questions upon contract, partner
ship. corporation law, commercial pa
per and real estate. Well he said,
won't you try me on statutes? am
pretty strong on them oh! what's
the use?' the examiner said, some
damned fool legislature may repeal
all you know The politician who is
strong on party platforms is in a
worse plight. Teddy has already re-
pealed all he knows.
The truth is that this welcoming
business is becoming a very serious
matter How can mayor be captur-
ing blind tigers, smashing gamblers,
regulating railroad rates. patching up
pavements, exterminating mosquitoes,
pulling down bath houses, boosting
the boosters and knocking the knock
ers, hunting jobs for the unemployed
and keeping the employed In the Jobs
they have, II he has to prepare an ad-
dress Of welcome every day or two?
After ones vanity has been tickled by
public speaking until 1t has lost its
sense of ticklishness in that particu-
| lar spot, an invitation to respond to
toast or extend a welcome brings to
his lips audibly the same expression
as arose unconsciously, IL inaudibly,
to the lips Of the lady who was dis
tributing tracts here the other day.
She handed one to a policeman, he
glanced at it, handed 1t back, and
touching his hat, politely said: Thank
you, miss, I am a married man She
looked nervously at the title and
blushed. It was, Abide with me-
| I'm some other city now the police
man might have agreed with the prov
erb of the Eastern Sage: TO be con-
slant in love to one is good; to be con-
slant to many is great
| II trust you will pardon my paus-
ing a moment to look around, but
am always a little apprehensive Of
finding myself in the position OF the
long-winded and prosy preacher who,
raising his eyes during his sermon,
was amazed to see his mischievous
son in the gallery pelting his hearers
| in the pews below with chestnuts.
While the good man was preparing a
reproof the young hopeful cried OUT:
You tend to your preaching DADDY;
Ill keep them awake
"I know you are expecting me 10
say something to you on the subject
of the new dispensary law, and how
1t is working here. Well, I'm going 10
give you an example Of how 1t Is WORKED
when the ladies take hand: In or
der to escape the clutches OF the ponce
Iiouor comes here concealed In every
kind of package you can imagine: The
other day the department had intima,
tion that some of it could be found
IN a package Of dry goods addressed
To a certain lady. Upon Its being
seized at her door she protested that
the package contained nothing but
wearing apparel. The policeman hes
itated a moment, but insisted on It's
haino opened, and there was disclos-