davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-20
VOL. 81, NO. ST
OBSERVATIONS

crops plant acknowledgement
find in a few years he will get
much better return for his OUTLAY
than he imagines. Land everv-
where has been cleared to such an
extent that wood is out of reach of
most people, many farmers even
buying their coal.
StS
A woman who lives in an inland
town while going to convention
IL distant city spent one n;oht of
the journey on board steamboat.
1t was the first time she had ever
Travelled by water. She reached her
journeys end extremely fat1gued.
To a friend who remarked il she
replied: ''Yes. I'm tired to death.
I don't know as 1 care to travel by
water again. read the card in NV
state room about how to put the
life preserver on, and [ thought I
understood 1t, but I guess I didn't.
Somehow l couldn't go to sleen
with the thing on"
22S
An exchange has adopted new
way to get the money and springs
this on its subscribers: In view of
the alarming news that the earth
may soon be destroyed by a comet.
The Herald calls the attention of a
few delinquent subscribers to the
fact that they should be prepared
for the worst by paying up their
accounts and for year in advance,
so that they may be able to meet
such calamity with 2 clear con-
science, which they can never
do if they owe the printer. Do not
forget that the time for preparation
is now quite brief, besides we need
the money to square up a few
F., things ourselves
SSS
! OF all the cOwardly and diaboIieal
receptions in the language they
say" is VIGOROUSLY the first, says an
exchange. 1t Is the catapult of the
slandered. Some liar magligns his
neighbor, and as he feels and fears
that he will stand alone, he resorts
to the base trick of pluralizing his
vicious self, and so he onts with
they say" '"They" is often ONLY
one, and if more than one it is be-
cause the wish of the liar was
father to his thought; he desires the
multitude i'll order to lose himself.
therein and thus escapes the per-
niciOus consequences of defamation.
1t is the old trick of the cuttlefish
that muddles the whole stream so
that it's own ugl1ness will not be
noted. No man of honor uses t.thev
say" He gives the proper authority,
if need be, and does not hedge be-
hind the indefinite. Truth ALWAYS
deals in directnsss The sneak it is
who tries to saddle upon the public
what his own coarse, crude and
malicious mind c0njured. Oh, the
misery of it all The murderer of
character considers that he is add
ing cubit to his own character in
subtracting from the name of his
fellow. This is a WIRE tched con
trivance, marked with ignorance
most gross, and sin that we'll nigh
touches insanity.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-20

When you see girl eating green
onions it is a pretty sure sign that
she has no love affairs to worry her.
SSs
An exchange remarks that IN case
the young woman who recently
married Bert Dust should ever wan
der from her home and fires1de, it is
hoped she will return to Dust.
zee
"Uncle Joe" Cannon in the role of
tariff reYisionist would be a spec
tacle for gods and men. The
esteemed speakers only show is to
keep on standing pat and very still.
2S2
"A kitten of a girl at II is apt to
be an old cat at 35," says a news
paper editor. Yes, and a gallant
young buck at 81 quite frequently
turns out to be tobacco splitting
old crouch at AZ.
22S
The best writer in my high school
class is now q curbstOne calling
card scribbler. The worst writer in
the class now hasa business in which
he employs AZ stenOgraphers to
write for him. You never can tell.
az
A New York city school boy sur
prised his teacher a day or two ago
by replying to her question as to
who discovered America. II dunno,
/ didn't even know it had been lost. :"
That boy will make great police
man when he grows up.
az
When a mans hat blows off and
hits his wife in the eye and he has
to pay a doctor two dollars, that's
bad; but when your wife, in walk
ing along the street, passes a MILL
merry store and is struck by a hat
that costs $50, that's $58 worse.
S22
A Tennessee minister declared
that hell is place of strong drink,
tobacco, baseball, theaters and
peekabOo waists, whereat the local
editor fearlessly arises TO remark;
"Well, you can't scare us any more
with threats of that placer
SS2
A Nebraska lover thought he had
won prize until he telephOned her
father|and asked him for his daugh-
ter. The old man said he didn't
know who the young man was, but
said it was all right anyhow. Now
the y. M. is wondering if he hasn't
been film TANNED again.
22S
A fresh egg will sink when placed
in water and rest on it's side; if
three weeks old it will incline slight
ly with the small end down; if
three months old it will stand on
the small end, and if older it will
float with large end out of water
more 'or less, according to age.
Popular mechanics is authority for
this.
SSS
The farmer who will plant two or
three acres of trees on some part of
his farm where the land is not
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-20

The Morse family is enjoying a
reunion, all the children being at
home.
Miss Madeline Fess of Madison
is guest of her friend, Vera Nc
Donald.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-20
Excursion Rates.

Monona lake assembly, Madison
via the Northwestern line. Tickets
on sale July "a and %. good returning
August z. For tickets and full in
formation apply to any ticket agent
of the Northwestern line.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-20

Mrs. Albert Philips and chill
dren, accompanied by her brother
Fred Weir and sister Miss Grace
visited in Liberty Wednesday.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-20
Opera House Announcements.

Long Hungry Zeke'' is the title
of a song that will be introduced in
the Missouri Girl, which appears in
August.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-20

The farmer who will plant two or
three acres of trees on some part of
his farm where the land is not
particularly productive for other
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-20

:'Hooligan in New York" IS an
nounced for Aug. 9TH, at Reeds
opera house; it IS a comedy drama,
the scenes of which are laid I'D the
metropolis. 1t pOrtrays every phase
Of life in Gotham from the jewellers
in the mansions of Riverside Drive
to the denizens of the sgualid slums
of the Ghetto. The entire produc-
ton is a feast for the eye from a
scenic standpoint, and a vein of de-
lightful comedy lnterspersed with
many pleasing specialties makes a
contrast to the darker side OF the
picture.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-20
222

Zeke Dobsons' clodhopper dance
is one of the features that will be in
troduced in the Missouri Girl.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-20

That bright, breezy and spirited
comedy, ''Hooligan in New York.
not being presented by company
of clever fun-makers. will be the
attraction at Reeds opera house,
Aug. 9TH. This comedy is one of
the rafting humorous kind that is
ever popular with theatre patrons
and it is filled to the brim with
charming satire, up-to-date speci-
alties and all that goes to make a
pleasureable evenings entertain
ment.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1907-07-16
Finished the Job,

Cou1 1t Ferdinand de Lesseps was
very severe against all forms of su-
perstit ion. One day when he and
his wife had some friends to lunch
the servant dropped a priceless
Sevres cup, W hich fell in thousand
pieces on the floor.
ooh, how unfortunate!" said
Nine. de Les 5eps, who, unlike her
husband, was rather superstitious.
1.-TWO more OF, them are certain to
get broken no v. 1t always happens
so."
''If you are so sure of that" re-
piled Count q e Lesseps, who had
often tried to cure his wife of this
fault, 'swe had better get all your
misfortunes ov er together" Saying
which he seize d two cups and flung
them to the g7to1lnd.-Bon Vivant.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1907-07-16
The Twinkling of a Star.

The twinkling OF a star has never
been explained to the satisfaction of all
investigators. but it is generally be-
lieved to be due to controlling causes
within the earth's atmosphere. That
the cause may be looked for within the
belt Of air that surrounds our planet
Ito particles of vapor, dust, etc. may
be inferred from the fact that the
planets never exhibit the characteristic
twinkling so noticeable in the star.
One reason for this is the size (appar-
emf Of the planets, each of which shows
n sensible disk. even to the naked eye,
while the strongest instrument in the
world only shows the stars as being
mere points of light This being the
case, any foreign substance in the at
mosphere would momentarily hide the
light and make the star appear to
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1907-07-16
YOUNG FIsHHAWKs.
The Way These Ravenous Feeders At
tack Their Food.

The appetites of the young hawks
increased rapidly, and in few days
they easily managed three and
half and four pounds Of solid fish q
day between them. At first we used
to cut the meat in cubes and feed
the birds by hand, but it was not
long before they were able to teal
lp a whole fish by themselves. They
often began by picking out the eyes:
perhaps because those organs were
conspicuous ard easily removed
They held their food in their claws.
and usually before seizing any part
Of it they J6ould finger, SO to speak.
with their bills, as though feeling
for a, good hold. When very hun
CRY tAey would pounce upon the
fish, raise their crests and lower
their wings and tail to the ground
as though to protect themselves
against possible robbery, often
screaming Justify between the
mouthfuls. They would tear off
large pieces, jerk them backward
into the throat and swallow them
They ate every part of a fish exec pit
the harder bones. Tough pieces
were removed by steady upward
pull, and the ends Of bones we're
twisted off with a pivotal move ment
such as man would use to d raw a
nail with a pair of pinchers. Whe1,
they had finished a meal they clean
ed their bills by thrusting them into
the nesting material and turning
them from side to side as o1le would
force an awl into wood. L ater they
elected the bones and other indi-
gestible particles in the. form OF
pellets.
AS they grew stronger they be-
came able to hold their long wings
in place at their sides. They also
began to exercise their wings by
tapping them steadily in front ot
their bodies for several seconds al
time, meanwhile rising. on thei1
toes. Later when performing this
wing exercise they would keep
jumping up an d down as though
testing the stre myth Of their pin
ions. During a rainstorm also they
would flap thei1, wings violently at
frequent inter7 ais and thus keeE
their plumage Comparatively dry
Ernest Harold Baynes in Scrlbner's
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1907-07-16
81 sctacles,

1t is hard to realize what our an
cestors did W ithout the help of
spectacles. T ne first mention Of
them seems to be toward the end of
the thirteenth century, when convex
spectacles wer e invented, it is sup
posed, by Ro ger Bacon. Concave
glasses were j Introduced soon after
ward, but Il le Spectacle Makers
company Of ] london was not incor-
porated until 1880. It seems that
the ancients knew nothing of these
aids to visio: n, and it is more than
likely that F Iomer and even Milton
might have oeen spared their blind
ness had the y understood the use OF
powerful le- rs. Eyeglasses came in
much late7 {, when the spectacles
were consi lered too cumbersome for
fashionabl e wear, and lorgnettes
came ever later, when the great la
dies wish ed an ornamental case for
their eye glasses. The eyeglasses of
today fit on the nose with spring.
Formerl y they were held in place
with thu hand.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1907-07-16
Before There Were Naval Uniforms

A little prior to the Revolutionary
war, says the Newport Bluejacket,
there was no such thing as a naval
uniform. The officers wore civilian
clothes or some sort of an adaptation
of an army uniform as suited their
fancies, and the men dressed any how,
though they generally agreed in wear
ing their hair long and done up in a
cue, or pigtail, and with a loveloclS
or two struggling down either side Of
the face. The sailor seems always to
have been given to wide trousers, eX-
perience having taught him that his
neither garments must be so construct
ed that they could be easily rolled
above the knees when washing down
decks. Sometimes the old time sailor
did not wear trousers at all, but a
sort of kilt like a highlander's. Look
at any old print showing a man-o'-
wars crew as late as 1918 and see
what a motley lot of garments are
shown on the men. Some of them
even wore stovepipe hats upon their
heads
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1907-07-16

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE
to sec you. 1 just got out in time to
Learn that you were on your way back
home
"That was horrid," she said. at
was not like father"
'But you see he's worked so hard
that he wants to land the match"
Meg frowned as she always did
when reminded of her approaching
marriage. An English duke With vast
estates and an infnitesimal income
had asked her hand in marriage, and
her father had given assent in her
name.
Francis Cadmus had been ambitious
for his daughter. He had always
frowned upon Jimmy Dorvars suit
even while admitting that he was Il
fine young fellow and bound to make
his way in the world.
Ben Tibbettsons daughter had mar
ried Il barouet. Here was a chance to
administer a final coup to Tibbettson,
who had boasted of his titled son in
law ever since. So when young Dorval
began TO show signs of insubordination
Cadmus had hired private detectives.
The events in Philadelphia had proved
the value cf this move, for Dorval and
Margaret had planned an elopement.
Meg'S mother came from one of the
old Philadelphia families, and her
aunts had insisted upon a visit that
they might shine in reflected glory of
her engagement to the duke. Cadmus
had sent her over in Il private car
and had arranged that she should
come back the same way. The gate
man had not caught her reference 10
the private car when she came back
from the telegraph office, and by mis-
take had directed her to the regular
train just pulling out.
IFS dispensation of Providence" "
declared Doryal when she had eX-
planned the situation. There are his
dukcletS. the detectives and your re
spected parent cooped up. waiting for
the other train. and here we are, to-
gether. and with a Pennsylvania IL
cense in>nly pocket. If we can be mar
ried before we cross the state line
will you, dear:"
''Of course l WILL" she declared
brisl,ly. u don't want to marry the
duke, and do want to marry you. Is
there a clergyman on board?"
''I'n get you one." offered the brake
man, who had been standing at hand,
In expectation of a tip. There's an old
guy with white whiskers two cars
back"
He darted out while Jimmy gare Meg
his seat and stood beside her. The
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1907-07-16
NJ ,yel Way of Fishing.

A curr Gus mode of catching tur-
ties is pr acticed in the West Indies.
It consis It's in attaching a ring and
line 20 the tail of species Of
sucker fish, which is then thrown
overbos I'd and Immediately makes
for th first turtle he can spy, to
which he attaches himself very
firmly by means of sucking ap-
parat Us arranged at the top of his
head The fisherman then ha1lis
both turtle and sucking fish in.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1907-07-16
Two Ina Tree
By LUs.IJ JOHNSON.
Copyright, 1907, by c. H. Sutcliffe.
By LULII JOHNSON.
Copyright, 1907. by c. H. sutclife.

For a MON; .lt Dora searched the
rack, then 81 remembered that her
jacket was up stairs, and she caught up
her brothers f;olf coat. She could slip
crosslots to the woods and be back
III no tine at. al. She must have some
arb-tEs for E-e supper table.
As she wa ; crossing the Benton farm.
she heard a u angry below and smiled
bentons p ;ize bull was confined il the
next lot He could not bother her
Then wiz h a rending crash. the mad
dened q. ainlal broke down the fiimsy
fence and came charging across the lot
after tho. fury melting red coat.
Dora, in a glance, measured her
chances and swung up into the single
apple tree that stood in the center
Of the field. Its branches hung low,
and it was no feat for the active girl
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1907-07-16
lad declared that

her stubborn. She Had declared that
she always kept her promise, and when
he reminded her of n earlier and for.
gotten promise the elective had been
revived.
Frazer saw his 10 is take In an instant.
Il didn't mean tt II /, Dodo," he plead
ed. She held up b er. head.
'sWon't you be llice?" he begged.
"You can play sc If with any one you
want, only don't oe angry"
1T was not mic g 10 reopen the argu-
ment when you ! he couldn't escape
it, she decreed.
Il didn't meal to-" he declared. "I
wasn't even Thu liking of that row.
You Were" she said very positive
ly. 1T is usele IS to deny it, either, for
l shall not arg ue''
He made Sc -eral efforts to convincs
her, but to>no use. and at last he sank
into a shfvelh lg silence. The sun had
set, and the n T was growing chill. He
missed his COZ It sadly, but Dora did not
notice his plis hit until his teeth chatter
ed so that sh' heard the sound.
You are &C li !. and made you throw
down your &C "a t. she cried penitently.
ITS all ris t." he protested.
ITS not" she contradicted. IFS
all my fault oo''
1.-THE coat Kas sacrificed in the in.
terest of sc lie ntifc experiment" he de.
clared. 't1 s hows that a blooded bun
can at lea st count up to two. He's
waiting for he other one, and then he
probably 'wo MT be satisfied
you'd be warmer if you sat next the
trunk Oh Il lis side, away from the
wind" she suggested. 81 could keep
off the cold on the other side.'
you'd ia Il off," he objected visit
fully, 'for, of course, since you hate
me, you wo uldn't let me hold you on"
There w; is no answer to this and
Frazer deli berateIy opened his mouth
that the ound of his clicking teeth
might be more plainly heard. Dora
stood it fo ten minutes, then:
Fred"
'What il 5 it?" he asked.
'Please come over" she pleaded. u
don't-hat e you"
In mi mute he was beside her, hold
ing her S teady on the limb. The teeth
stopped chattering and Dora nestled
close.
Il shs Il not play with Mr.. Bennings."
she sail tmidly. 81 woulfrather play
with " ou -
"Wh 1t reason can you give him
noW?' hr demanded.
PEI 'ha, IS you might think of one"
she 81 lgg, ssted.
wv &C rld tell him that we We're en-
gage I.''
q ut it wouldn't be true"
''I on cc ,uld make it true lie remind
ed. "WiI ! you, Dodo"'
II was twenty minutes afterWard
tha tho sc two came back to earth
agli'l. I :eneath the tree all was quiet.
''5 Eherl IS King Champion?' she
asF ed. l 7razer glanced down.
4 do elieve he has gone," he cried.
" suppo Sc he got thirsty. The creek
.11ns thro ugh the other field"
Il thin, he's an awfully nice bull"
she said irrelevantly, as he helped her
down. A nd Fred agreed with her.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1907-07-16
Crocad les OF Old.

The galaxy of lies about e'rocodlles
found in old book 81 daa,zles th under
standing even of he experienced read
er of mediaeval na tural h STORY, lie is
a great worm. He is afrai, OF saTron.
Ee eats honey. Tht. crocod lie rl'nneth
away from a man IL he winll Wi IN his
left eye and look ste adfastly lpoE him
with his right eye. He carrie water
in his mouth to make the roaA Is Slip
perry and so catches people alive. Ihefe
is an amity and natural concor d oe'
tween swine and crocodiles and L much
more of the same kind. Herodotus lit
tie plover, which walks into the GRO CO.
dies mouth and picks off the leech, IS,
is changed by Bartholomew into fisl l.,
with chests like saws, and fowl and =
serpent, all of which walk about inside
the croeodile's stomach as if it WIRE al
parlor and find him fright neIh and
full tentsr."-London Spectator
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1907-07-16
A ppr eciation.

An eloquer It t'arrister was called
upon to defer i'd burglar at the as
sizes. He di i SO with great success
and obtained the triumphant ac-
quittal of his; ellie ut. On going into
his office one morning little later
he found the safe open and empty,
while lying @ the desk was a note:
':Dear Sir-I. looked in this morn
ing to thank you for kindly getting
me off the ';her day. As You wasn't
in, ventu ed to take two OF three
little thing as sooveneer of the
OCCASION Tours a[fectionately, Will
liam Skies London Express.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1907-07-16
She Must Have 1t.

She may have grace, she may be fair,
She may be gentle and refined,
She may have talents that are rare,
She may possess a noble mind,
But in the background she must stay
Unnoticed by the strong and brave
If she has not found out the way
To do it in marcel wave.
Who cares for soft, bewitching eyes,
Or for finely chiseled nose,
Or shell-liI1e ears or Turing signs,
Or cheeks the color of the rose?
Who cares how sweet her voice may b,
What matter how she may behave,
If she neglects to skilfuly
Arrange it in a marcel wave?
Chicago RecoId-Hera Id.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1907-07-16
a LITTLE NONSENSE.
cor Nutmes's" Saying as Cure For
What Ais You.


The idle man is no mans idol.
A man kin still hev hoss sense an
own an automobile.
Some people envy a hen on aigs
'euz it's settin' daown job.
They is one man we kin allus look
in the eye-the man who owes us
money.
Ev'rybuddy b'ieves thet a snorer
snores 'cept the snorer who does the
snorin'.
It's all right tew take the bull by
the horns, but remember it's dan
gerous lettin' go.
Some people who lay up fur a
rainy day amt sartisfed till a reg
lar flood comes.
A good word travels a long dis
tun ce; bad word travels jest ez
fur an quicker.
Ef man waits fur an office tew
S seek him nowadays he'll wait till
It's ben peddled all araound taoWn.
It hez ben said thet a man who
kin successfully beat his fare on a
railroad naowadays would make a
good preserdunt Nv the same.
Sometimes the foot thet rocks
the cradle is the same foot thet
sends the young man off'n the front
doorsteps who hez come araound
tew rob the cradle.
In speakin' Nv Washington, the
Father Nv His Country, it is allus
said thet he couldn't" tell a lie.
Naow, mebbie arter all he's like the
rest Nv us-mebbie he would hev
told one eff he could hev.-Judge.