The Washington herald., 1907-12-29

There they are"' exclaimed the Bach
elor Girl. waving her hand toa ard col
lection Of fancy junk set out in rows on
the studio piano like the wares IN a sec
ond-hand shop window.
What are?' INQUIRED the Mere Man.
squirting helplessly al the oddly assorted
heap. as he busted the snow from his
coat and spread his hands in front Of the
fire. THE remnants of 4 church fair, or
the spoils OF Il fight. or"
My shattered illusions. Mr. Porter" in
terrUpted the Bachelor Girl. with a sigh.
my broken hopes. my lost ideals-my
Christmas presents from my men friends"'
on" The Mere Man craned his neck
and glanced at the collection with sud
denly awakened interest. I don't see
my-aH OF them" he added deiicately.
No" agreed the Bachelor Girl, dropping
onto a divan and regarding the heap con
temptuously Some OF them have gone
into the fire"
What
And some Of them-have gone to be
exchanged"
"Ah"
And some Of them"
Mice. delicate, creatures. women ex-
claimed the Mere Man. sarcasticaIly. as ne
took a chair and pulled out his pipe. AT
ter a chap has spent six months t0-turing
himself with the thought Of Christmas and
six weeks in agonizing doubt as to what
10 give a girl and six days wandering Ike
a lost soal through the department stores
and sixty dollars on trash
That's just it, cried the Bachelor Girl,
warmly. "If he he'd a particle Of senti-
ment. It wouldn't take him six minutes 10
know exactly what he wanted to give a
woman and 70 discover the veT5 thing
that would make her perfectly happy and
grateful and devoted
Buying a Christmas present isn't a
matter OF sentiment" broke in the Mere
Man, protestingly. It's a sentence-to
hard labor. By the time you have cen
sidered the girl and you pocketbOok and
her mother and the cOnventiOnalities and
have had mental visions OF the thing re-
posing on her desk or her dressing table,
where her big brother can cast original
reflections on il, and all her girl friends
and your own girl friends-can tear Il 20
tatters and have dragged yourself 10 2
jewelers. shop or a department store that
you've never been inside OF before. you
are in such a mental whirl that about al
you can see is the counters going round
and the gew-gsws dancing a Jig. and you
are likely 10 find yourself coming out with
a carpet sweeper instead OF the fancy hat
pin you wanted. or a tack hammer instead
of a pair Of silk
Il beg your pardon. Mr.. Porter
a pair OF silk mitts,' finished the Mere
Nan. hurricdly.
or course" agreed the Bachelor Girl
pushing the curls out Of her eyes and
Z leaning back defiantly. Christmas IS IN,
one time OF the year when a man UnCOn-
( sciously follows his instincts. It's The
crucial test Of love. the pivot on which
( turn half the rOuRnces- More men wax,
I Up 10 find themselves engaged and more
women 20 find themselves disillusiOned OF
I the morning after Christmas than on any
other day IN the year The worst SHOCK
woman can receive. when she has beeI
six months looking forward 10 Christmas
1 Day and 2 ring and a proposal. IS 10 ge'
| up IN the cold gray dawn and find z
/ cuckoo clock or 4 Gibson calendar wait
/ ing for her ~ the front door. It's lik,
Santa Claus leaving a bundle OF switches
or Ike waking up from nice dream L
/ find that somebody has been dashing cold
/ water IN your face"
l And the worst shock a man. can get.
/ retorted the Mere Man. knocking his pip.
on the chair. after spending hard-earnet
cash and lot OF time and sentiment pick