Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-15
A BRAND-NEW SYSTEM

Here's a man who has developed and put
over what he calls a beat-her-to-it system
| for use In domestic skirmishing. He only
puts the system into play when he's wrong
| and knows 1t.
He evolved the scheme couple OF
| months ago. and it worked out beautifully.
| just according to the plans and specifica-
! lions.
On that occasion he had left the house
| about o'clock in the evening to get a
! cigar at the shop around the corner. At
| the cigar shop he met q pal who exuded a
buzz about a little four-bits limit game
| that was going to happen at the rooms OF
| mutual chummie that evening. The man
who'd only left the house to get a smoke
knew that II he went home and tried to
frame up some scheme whereby he'd be
| able to get out for the night he had every
| chance on earth Of falling down on it, and
| would therefore miss the chance to kick
in on the tidy little four-bits limit game.
| SO he didn't go homo at all. but accom-
| panied the friend he'd met to the rooms
where the game was to happen. figuring
! that he'd have to take his medicine when
| for jumping his household at twilight ''on
pretense that he was going after a cigar.
| as he new full well the matter would be
| expressed by his wife.
l. 1H6 game UTOAS Up dtOuk tOWdTU q ClOCA
| in the morning. and the man with his wife
I yet to meet trudged home rather than wait
for car. He had plenty of time to think
| 1t all over on the traipse home.
I'm wrong. OF course" he reasoned out.
| Had no license to jump out early in the
| evening and stay SO late. or early, 1 mean.
without saying anything about 1t. OF
course I didn't know 1 was going to stay
| be able to convince her of that and there d
| be no use in the world for me to say it.
| Well. 4 know everything she's going to
say-I've got it all discounted In advance
unless l can think Of some way out. Lett
| see, she'll open up by saying that--by
cracky. that's the fine Idea! I'll do it! I'll
open it myself! l wonder how the schemell
work out. anyway
He saw the bright light in the second
story windows when he came alongside his
house. and he knew that she was waiting
up for him as he had confidently expected.
| He stepped briskly up the steps. didn't
make any effort to creep or crawl or pad
| the sound of his footsteps as he mounted
| the stairs, and, when he entered the bed
room, to see his wife stretched out reading
| a novel. but with hard look in her eyes.
he hustled right over to her and deposited
most penitential kind of lip salute on
her left eye. She gazed at him In amaze
ment. for she had been expecting him to
stink in with q hang-dog air. prepared
either to brazen 1t out and take his part
In the scrap or to stand utterly mute under
her upbraidings.
But he took her right in his arms and be-
gan to knock himself.
Look here. my DEAR" he said. rapidly.
I'm q mean mutt, and you don't have to
tell me that I'm one. l know it. I'm
ashamed Of myself; Never felt 30 onnery
in my life as I've felt all this evening for
staying away from you like this. 1 sure
hate myself for 1t. honest ! do
think you'd"
Yes" he broke in quickly, land I do,
IT Derfacflv c0ntPmDfihlp
part-utterly snide and brutal. don't
blame you for being hot about 1t. I'd be
as sore as butcher myself If I were in
your place. No use in trying to phony
about it. either-I was playing poker"
But put in his wife. viewing him sus-
piciously. .'how did pou happen"
"Oh. it doesn't make any difference about
/ how 1t happened. little one" he cut in.
I'm the mean skate for doing it. and there
are no two ways about that end Of 1t. The
idea Of me hiking of with q crowd Of gam
and most considerate little woman on earth
to sit up and wait for me and worry over
me all this long time-somebody ought to
put me to the bastinado for 1t, and I'm just
the lout that knows it."
But didn't you stop to think Of
Did 1? l never had my mind of Of you
the whole evening. but was ahead of the
game early in the evening away. out in
eash in and cr aHa OF out whsa
much to the good. especially as couldn't
get EN- to name any hour when the game
was to finish. and so there 1 was. with a
big double stack of chips In front. OF, me-,
and no chance to vamo home here. even
though was frightfully nervous and both
cred all the time. for knew that, you d
Yes, and I've been worried to, death for
three or four hours for fear you'd
Il knew 1t all the time. and I kept look
ing at my watch. 50 as to give these fat
heads in the game the hint that 1 wanted
to get out, but they professed not to see
my nervousness. I could picture my little
baby doll just worrying herself to the verge
OF hysteria. and 1t put me into a perfect
rage and fury with myself. and made up
Hy '"'"u right 'Aen '"a' the next ''me
But when you thought Of me here all
alone. with nobody to protect me in case of
burglars Or"
Ibid think Of it? Well. If 1 haven't
added whole lot Of gray hairs tonight
thinking of 1t then I don't know. i was
keenly conscious the whole evening that 1
wasn't behaving right by you. but what
could do? 1 knew very well that you
wouldn't have me such a mean piker as to
get cold feet and quit the game when l
was prancing away out I'm front, and yet
there were times when felt like throwing
my chips out of the window and just rush
ing home to you anyhow. Dog-gone my
onnery hide. honey. sure have a crouch
against myself for staying any old place
away from you till such an hour In the MID
die of the night as this. and there's only
one thing for me to do. and that is to try
to square It with you, that's all. You Just
overlook 1t this time and You watch me"
well. must say. this Is the first time
that you've ever owned up to 1t that you
weren't treating me right. but II you"
No. I've been pretty pig headed about 1t.
/ have no doubt. but guess can see as
far through a stone wall as the next one,
and I'm Just the Indian that skate to
the center and admit things when see I'm
dead wrong. Yes, ma am. deed I am!
What an ass a fellow Is. anyhow. to stick
around with bunch Of pop-eyed card
rtflers when he might be spending a NICE
pleasant. uplifting evening at home with
the dearest and incest and prettiest little
wife on earth and. get in hts full nights
sleep. and"
well. John. certainly did mean to say
great many things to you about the way
you have been treating me, but since you
show that you really are sorry. why of
course. the only thing Gan do Is to try to
forget
4. That's it. precious-just forget It, I'm
not going to be q mean. negiectful skee-
sticks all my life. you can bet all you've
got on that. and the next time leave you
in the lurch this way But, at that I'll
tell you what did just to get back to you
was still away to the good in the game
when 1t got close to 2 O'clock and was
determined to quit at that hour. no matter
what the mullets in the game thought and
SO I deliberately over-played two or three