Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1907-02-07
AN EFFICIENT ALARM.

1CdIS d6O, WHcu clcCIIlC uuT6idI
alarms were new, Mark Twain had
one placed in his house. In his auto
biography. in the North American
Review, he tells how it worked. As
general thing it was out of order.
Then he would shut it off and send
10 New York for an electrician. 1t
never showed its real possibilities ex-
Cept on one occasion.
"Just that one time" he says, 'it
performed it's whole duty-gravely.
seriously, admirably. 1t let fly about
2 o'clock one black and dreary March
morning, and I turned out promptly,
because | knew twas not fooling this
time.
Il stepped into the bathroom,
turned up the gas, looked at the an
nunciator, and turned off the alarm,
so far as the door indicated was con.
cerned. This stopped the racket.
Then I went back to bed and Mrs.
Clemens opened the debate.
"'What it is?'
"T was the cellar door,
"'Was it a burglar, do you think?'
eyes, said l, of course it was.
Did you think it was a Sunday-school
superintendent
mo. What do you suppose he
wants?'
L suppose he wants jewelry, but
he is not acquainted with the house,
and he thinks it is in the cellar. Still.
it may be that he is acquainted with
the place, and that what he really
wants is coal and vegetables
Are you going down to see?'
Are you going down to see?'
No; let him select for himself
"'But suppose he comes up to the
ground fioor?'
1--WE shall know it the minute he
opens a door. 1t will set off the
alarm
Just then the buzzing broke out
again. went into the bathroom and
saw ] was right, shut off the dining.
room and came back to bed.
What do you suppose he is af.
ter now?' said my wife.
L think he has got all the vege.
tables he wants. and is coming up for
napkin rings and odds and ends for
the wife and children. They all have
families, burglars have. and they are
always thoughtful for them
Are you going down to see what
he wants now?'
No; | think he is after ceramics
and such things. If he knows the
house he knows that Is all he can find
on that floor
"She said, with strong interest
perceptible in her tone, Suppose he
comes up here!'
'All right, said. lie will give
us notice.
What shall we do them
"'Climb out of the window
well, what is the use of bur
slar alarm for u.s. she asked, res.
lively.
"'YOu have seen dear heart. that
It has been useful up to the present
moment, and have explained how it
will be continuously useful after he
gets up here.
That was the end of It. He didn't
ring any more alarms. said
thought he was disappointed and had
gone off with the vegetables and the
bric-a-brac.
I'VE went to sleep, and at 7.45 in
the morning / was out and hurrying,
for l was to take the S.29 train for
New York l found the gas burning
brightly all over the first floor. My
new overcoat was gone: my old UNI
brella was gone: my new patent
leather shoes which had never worn
we're gone. The large window at the
rear of the house was open. passed
out through it and tracked the bur-
lar down the HILL tracked him with
ease, because he had blazed his way
with Imitation silver napkin rings,
and my umbrella. and various other
things which he disapproved of, and
went back in triumph and proved to
my wife that he was a disappointed
burglar.
II had suspected he would lie from
the start, and from his not coming to
our floor to get human beings