The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-05
BASEBALL RIOTERS
A DISTINCT CLASS
Some Are the Real Thing.
Others Most Annoying and
Obnoxious.
THE ALLEGED FUNNY MAN
=
This Type Is Most Unbeatable Of
u u All--Genuine Article Comes
m Few and Far Between.
THE ALLEGED FUNNY MAN

Tho great majority of the baseball
rooters are the bulllest fellows innagin-
able. But there are just a few types oi
rooters who are irksome.
They don't know 1t. That's the pa
thctlc part Of It, They mean we'll. Their
intentions are the best in the world.
But they are sufferers from what might
be termed the confused ego They have
the imaginative temperament.
For example, some rooters imagine
| themselves to be humorists, when they.
really are not-not at all; not a little d
| bit, writes Clarence L. Cullen, of WASH !
| ington.
The sure-enough funny baseball rooter I
| Is rare bird. Few ball towns have moreI
than two or three of them at the most. i
| And they're JOY. They're about half
| the fun OF the afternoon. They're quaint.
Inventive, quippish and wholly agreeable. +
| They don't overdo 1t. They Cont keep
blattlng all Ne time. like megaphonistsl
on the rubberneck wagons. They pie i
! the pat moment and send the funny one +
| over, convuisng all hands within soundi
| of their voices. They have the genuine,
sense Of proportion. and OF time measure
| ment. They know to the eighth of o;
4 second just when to shoot In the right !.
| one.
| And they're always Sood-natured about (
1t. The honest-lnjun funny baseball root |
| er is never crouch He's there for the |
| outing and the fun q game man, willing
| to take his medicine, IL Need be, as enter
! tainng In defeat as he Is jovial and gem
erous in victory. He's got comedy In
| him. Hes there with tho bright mind.
| stored with qutrks md quips. He isn't
| obviously trying to make hit with tho
folks. He's just letting the stuff out OF (,
| him that seethes In naturally Joyous
| midriff. r
But, we repeat. the really and truly
funny baseball rooter is a rara avis.
Washington has It's quota, like other
| baseball towns, or two or three-no more.
1 The imitators OF the real article. how
| ever, are many. They are not able to
! view themselves from the proper focusing
| distance. They don't know how to stand
off and look themselves over from the
correct angle. Otherwise, they wouldn't
be imitation funny baseball rooters.
/ They somehow or another develop tho
exaggerated ego-ish notion that they are
real clips, cut-ups, leases. hoydens OF tho
game. And they are out to show folks
that they're there with the stuff Candor
compels the statement that, far from
being In the leastwise entertaining, they
are very, very" sad persons.
They do not conduce to the gaiety Of
an afternoon OF ball park Their ut
teranccs have about as much point as a
| a can-opener. They excite about as much
mirth as does the sight Of a gored horse
| at a bullfight. They diffuse an aura and
| aroma Of gloom all over the occasion.
They surcharge the affair with an atmos-
phere OF sorrow. They render the con-
course uneasy and unhappy. They mis-
take antedeluvian gibes for up-to- the
minute witticisms. thereby creating a
perspective OF verbal monotony that is
| irksome to the spirit and wearisome unto
the flesh,
And they never never stop till the last
mans out. They are making the hit OF
the afternoon. according to their DOPE
and so they don't feel like depriving the
crowd Of their tuaniness TIL It's all over
That's the pity of 1t. Iago-that these.
imitation funny rooters actually suppose,
they are comforting a benefit upon the
folk who have given up their good coin at
| the gate Nobody feels like trying to rag
! one OF these limitations. 1t Is So per-
fectly apparent that the phony funnyist
| actually thinks that he alone Is worth
twice the price OF admission. that gen
erous- hearted men, no matter how hor-
rbly they suffer under the affliction,,
haven't the gizzard to up and tell him
that he's In wrong: that he really
is shine and smudse ana
nuisance as would-pe dlVertihg
| rooter Moreover such a conformation
would perhaps fetch mp a crouch and q
/ rrowl and perhaps a scrap. and SO the
Imitation funny rooter is rarely or never
called He goes right on from year TO
wear. making people wretched and ms
cradle and misanthropic. ~.
Let's wistfully. prayerfully. hope that
we will not have many of him THIS year.
1t doesn't cost anything to hope.