davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25
LAYHA WKER JOT.S

r. P. Waggener has fallen victim
to the fad at last. He has bought ar
automobile.
notwithstanding the freeze. a Craw-
ford county man has a banana plant
in full bloom. 1t is in a green house.
Mumps have broken out at the fed
eral prison at Leavenworth. but that
is the only thing that has broken out
A Winfield woman, according to the
Tribune, is SO highly polished that
everything she says reflects on some
body.
Incidentally" observes Charlie
Blakesley. 1.-The beer interests have
succeeded in brewing no end OF trouble
over in Kansas"
Another rendition by a western
Kansas editor: Little drops or wafer
on the grains of sand, make mighty
difference in the price of land
Walter johnson thinks it is sur
prising that some one has not sooner
observed that the action OF Attorney
General Jackson has rendered the An
heuser- Busch company sa tder BUD
weiser corporation.
Three tramps got into a car of corn
at Wichita and hid. The car was seal
ed while they were in it. and 1t was
starte east 1t was the next daY be-
fore they succeeded in attracting at
tention and getting released. In the
meantime they had gone without Good
and water and were nearly frozen.
Art item from the Emporia Gazette;
Since the item about a poster of wo-
man in Garden of Eden attire in Nor
ris' window appeared in the Gazette
yesterday, half the men in town have
found it necessary to visit that block.
One man hitched up his horse just as
soon as he had read the paper and drove
down town. The average man is an
ardent admirer of h'-;l art
Frederick Cahoon of Wichita has one
of the rarest violins in the country.
When Mascagnis American trip ended
in di.aster in New York City, all the
members OF his orchestra were dead
broke and had to sell their instruments.
One of the violinists offered his instru-
ment to Mr. Cahoon to get money to re-
turn to Italy and the Wichita man
bong it. When the italian came to
part with it, he told Mr.. Cahoon that It
had been in his family for generations
and he kissed the instrument goodbye
and wept over it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25
GLOBE SIGHTS.
IFrom the Atchison Globe.1

TFrom the Atchison Globe.]
No man is sas wicked as his
thoughts. u
No one has as much money as pao-
pie imagine.
Discount your expectations at least
eighty per cent.
A man is always at least as old as
he cOnfesseS to being.
1t is easy to invent scheme, but
difficult to make it work.
There is no life so useful and hap
py as the monotonous life.
1t is not the work you do that wears
you out: it is the worrying you do.
The man who really enjoys fighting,
is not much good for anything else.
What has become of the old-fash-
toned woman who wore Stat sun
bonnet?
When a man is loser, you can't con-
sole him by telling him how much
you won.
When a man marries widow. he
should at least get house and lot, or
a farm.
The more people talk about the
proper thing to do the less apt they
are to do it.
A business seldom amounts .
enough to give all the employees the
credit they deserve.
The satisfied man, as rule, is
active, and makes row.
The choir seems to be usually made
up of those who are willing, instead of
those who can sing.
The average woman will use aim )st
any kind of soap if it Is recommended
to improve the complexion.
That honorable body known as the
governors staff. never seems very inn
portant to anyone but the staff.
Probably more men would join the
church if some initiatory work were
put on when a new member is added.
A good looking girl is always quite
willing to exchange photographs, al
though she usually gets the worst of
the trade.
No man will take good advice on
another's say-so; even when he learns
the truth for himself he cannot al
ways apply it.
1t is said if you do not blow youl
own horn no one will blow it for yoU.
Well, they certainly will not blow. it
if you are blowing it.
Let three women talk together, and
within five minutes one of them will
say that she doesn't Intend to work
herself to death for any man.
Compliments may spoil people, but
it is a more agreea BILE spoil that sour
ing them by telling them the dis
agreeable things you hear about them.
When a woman kills, she is apt to
say she was defending or avenging her
Honor; but a man whose honor seems
harder to locate pleads selfdefense.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25
JOURNAL ENTRIES

What, by the way. is Alfenso's last
name?
&&
When we get practical afrships lot
of people will probably aspire to be
high flyers.
q
"Stung." said the green bug just
after Professor Hunter had turned
loose another batch of the parasitic
bees that are the bugs enemies.
-
Kingman is to have a breakfast food
factory. Since the advent of the saw
mill into southwestern Kansas. all
sorts of new industries are springing-
up.
y
Just because a boy calls the other
fellows liars, his mother should not
imagine that he will some day be
president.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25

A few years ago the farmers said
the Russian thistle was about to ruin
the country. They said it would crowd
out all other vegetation, and that it
was almost impossible to root it out
when it once got started. A law was
passed, and is on the statute book to-
day, to compel everybody to kill the
Russian thistle wherever it appeared.
Finally It was discovered that the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25
EPOM OTHER PENS
K11L1NG THE LOTTERY.

1t is rather"a surprise to most per
sons to learn that the Louisiana lot
terry was. only scotched some years
ago. 1t had been generally supposed
that when louisiana rose up in, ITS
might it really slew the monster
which had been eating at its vitals j, FOR
so long. OF course it was known that
the lottery had removed to Honduras,
but it was not supposed that much
vitality was left in it. When the gov
eminent cut off the use of the mails
and express companies every aven Ie
of approach to this particular gam
bling instinct seemed to be closed. 1t is
therefore with some amazement that
the public Will learn that the govern
ment has found that a number OF
prominent men in this country nave
been backing the institution, which
has had a secret vigorous life and has
paid immense profits. There has been
a lot of buying by the hopeful through
media which are just being unearth-
ed. There have been some 1nd1ct-
ments. more are expected, and the
government announces its intention
to proceed vigorously to punish Of
fenders-PhilaGelph Inquirer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
[From the New York Press.l

IFTOIH IIIt N0W UIh TItSSI
No old maid ever lived long enough
to admit she was
Noise is very useful for grand opera
and political debates.
Calomel and spanking are both good
for early love affairs
A man wouldn't mind being poor SO
much If everybody else was poorer.
A woman likes to be proud of her
husband if its only about how he once
saw the president at a public meeting.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25
JAIL. TERM NEEDED.

A Jail sentence is needed for this Of
fense. and it would be a good plan to
introduce it everywhere. The pistol
toting, razor-up-rhe-sleeve habit Is
not confined to Italians by any means.
and it is evidently increasing. Effective
enforcement of a sufficiently drastic
law in all parts of the country would
reduce the 10000 annual killings in
the United States at least one-half.-
Hartford Times
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25

Newspaper correspondents, it is as
serted, have been ordered to keep away
from the White House after nightfall.
But don't they have the privilege of
calling the president up by telephone
about midnight, just to make sure that
nothing late has happened that they
haven't rOt2
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25
BILL FOR GOVERNOR.

There is talk of running Bill White
for governor on square deal plat
form. a better or bigger man couldn't
be selected for the job. There isn't a
man in the state who has his brains
or personality. He would keep Kansas
In the front for certain. He is clean
fight and protect himself in a fight.
BY all means let us get behind Bill
White for governor. He has backbone
and brains.-Brown County World.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25

thistle made good forage and might be
useful. Immediately it began to lam
gnishs and die and today it is rarely
heard of. If people would now try to
cultivate the dandelion it would take
lot of hard work to keep it from dy-
ing oi1f
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25

Major H. NJ. Boyd, who was assist
ant adjutant general during the Leedy
administration, who IS now in the
newspaper business at BelleviIle, play
ed in hard luck the other day. The
major is gallantry itself. and seeing a
lady having trouble with a horse on
the street, he stepped up to assist. He
assisted all right until the horse
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25

Another item of expense to the rail-
roads is creeping up. A brakeman has
Just been awarded $4,000 as damages
for the loss of an arm and a leg. Pref
ty soon a mans life may be valued
at $4,000 or $4,000
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25

The Illinois house of representatives
has voted to pay legislators in that
state $4,000 for each regular session of
the general assembly. They now re-
ceive $1,000. Kansas proposes to pay
its legislators $500 for a regular ses-
sion, provided the people approve the
raise
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25

There is no doubt that Joseph L.
Bristow would be a strong man in
the Kansas gubernatorial chair, but it
is quite likely that Mr.. Bristow would
much prefer a seat in the United
Stotaa senate
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25
HER INNING.

The housewife, who put up hundreds
of quarts of fruit last season and was
laughed at for her pains, is now hav-
ing her inning. And she is getting glor-
iously even by occasionally reminding
her former tormentors that she reckon
ed she knew what she was about when
she put up all that fruit last summer.
Erie Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25

AS John Temple Graves sizes it up,
one word from Bryan would send
Roosevelt to the White House again.
It does not necessarily take that one
word from Bryan, however. One word
from Roosevelt would also do 1t.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25

And now the Railway Age is recon-
mending publicity as cure for railroad
accidents. But haven't the newspa-
pers been doing their best to give the
railroads this sort of cure for years?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25

started. Then it knocked him down,
stepped on him and ran. the buggy
over him breaking two ribs. But that
wasn't all. Being injured, the major
was slow about getting out of the
street. The horse ran around the
block and narrowly missed hitting him
again on the second lap around.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25

There is little hope-or fear, de-
pending upon what your sentiments
are-that Wisconsin will get another
United States senator like LaFollette.
The reason is that there is no material
for another United States senator like
HaFolIette
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25
A QUESTION.

The Alton railroad gave the Standard
Oil rate of just one-third what they
charged other customers. Now the
give every one a rate, one-third of
what they now charge, or were they
giving the Standard a rate that was
actually losing proposition to them?
We country fellows are just foolish
enough to believe that they can af
ford to give US the better rate.-Belle-
vile Freeman.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25
JACKSON.

Attorney General Jackson has won
the hearts of the people of Kansas.
There is an epidemic of stalWart
attorney generals and it is mighty hne
that Kansas has a man in that bunch.
We have had the other kind long
enougn.-Lawrence Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25

A Denver boy died, it is announced,
as a result of being hit by ball in
friendly game of baseball. Do they
have any other kind in Colorado?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25
SAN FRANCISCO.

In the value of the property de-
stroved bv the fire in San Francisco a
year ago that disaster was without
precedent in this country, but it led
to. the exercise of corresponding
degree of courage and energy. Build
ing onerations there have been ham
pered by immense obstacles, but the
progress made in the face of such dis
couragements has been scarcely less
than marvellous. AS yet the restora-
ton of the city is far from complete,
but by the end of another year, it may
safely be preiicted. no waste places
will be left, and the new San Fran
cisco will show a wonderful advance
on the old one in respect to beauty
and security New York Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25
MAKING A CHOICE.

The Tribune is not in sympathy with
many of the propositions of the Square
Dealers. But in their attempt to nave
the politics of the state freed from the
control of corporation attorneys 1t is
in full sympathy-and then some
Douglass Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25

Now that it has been discovered that
ashes burn better than coal, when
properly treated, the Salina journal
raises the question, where are we to
get our ashes?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25

Kansas jointists were never buster
In their lives than they are just now
but they are busy lodging the Officers
and not selling booze.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25

It's an i'll wind that blows nobody
good: The horses that have been pull
ing the brewery wagons in Kansas are
getting a rest now.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25

A gentle zephyr is a mighty me
thing, but sometimes even gooo 'iiiiis
can be over DONE
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25

Perhaps California is behind this
talk of universal peace. California is
the greatest producer of olive branches
In the western hemisphere.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25
WOULD BE READ.

The spelling reform movemel
would make a long stride this sun
mer if its promoters could get t.
baseball writer's interested In IL
cause.-Springfield Republican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25

Colonel George Harvey is having
more trouble than even Eugene
Debs in attracting any attention from
the president.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25

In response to the query, What is
Democrat" we would suggest DEM
ocrat is usually an optimfst. He is al
ways going to win next time.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25

You will notice that Vice President
fairbanks exhibition of his boom In
Kansas last fall did not do the boom
any special good.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25

Another indication that Taft is the
right sort is that he refuses to neglect
his Job in order to. go to Ohio and
ssst11unu the state"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25

Mr.. Bryan has now come forward in
advocacy of the initiative and refer
endum, and he acts like a man who ex-
poets President Roosevelt to grab his
new issue any minute.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25
THE PEACE MOVEMENT.

real international conference of
accredited delegates can actually do
no more than express the degree to
which the sentiment of peace prevails
among the nations they represent. The
resolutions of this congress go little
beyond the point reached by the last
conference at The Hague, but they
only develop the same general ideas
in the direction to which that confer
.ence pointed and suggest no more
than the further strengthening of the
conclusions already reached. Com
parativeIy few persons are so san
guine as to dream that the time has
yet quite come to declare war abolish
ed and ARMIES and fleets abandoned
EIverv one knows that if nations are
determined to fight. treaties will not
keep them apart. But even those
who glory most in arms must admit
that the world has made wonderful
nroeress within our own time, toward
the substitution of reason for force
Philadelphia Ledger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25

Mr.. Carnegie is for peace-except II
business. If it becomes necessary Tx
can wage a business war.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PREsSS

A governor really preached at sauna
Sunday night-Governor Buchtel OF
Colorado
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25
DISEASE OF FASHION.

NeIlrasthenia Is what woman has
after her husband gets rich enough
for her to get over hysterics.-Galves-
ton News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25
Trua Enough.

Poultney Bigelow was giving some
advice to a young man who was about
to join, for the first time, the great
army of tourists that has already
started on it's annual trip across the
Atlantic. Mr.. Bigelow adverted to the
extraordinary amount of painting that
goes on aboard an ocean liner
ION certain ship one day" he said,
Il put my hand on freshly painted
ventilator, and, while removing the
white smear, 1 fell into conversation
with the seaman who was responsible
for the trouble. He was an elderly
chap, and he had visited many OUT
landish places. AS he piled the brush,
we had an interesting chat.
"'How long have you been a sailor?'
said 1 finally.
"'Sailor?' the old man grumbIed,
dipping his brush into the can. Bless
yer heart sir, I'm no sailor nova
days. I'm a bloomin' artist, that's wot
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25
RR VAN WINKLE.

Where amid mountains towering steep
A darksome river rolled.
Distraught, young man fell asleep
TO wAken old.
Where sun-lxissed breakers rose to leap.
And palms their banners hung,
Calmly an old man fell asleep,
To waken young. =
Clara Marshall in the Century.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25
SeasonabIe.

]. G. Phelps Stokes, the noted phtlan-
thropist, spoke with good-humored re-
greet, at a dinner in New York, of a
charity that had failed.
But it failed through its own fault, :"
said Mr.. Stokes. ut failed because it
was mistaken. 1t suggests to me an
experience of a friend of mine in Ire
land. My friend, at about this season
last year, was motoring through re-
mote region of Ireland, and one day
he came upon a poor old woman, seat
ed, with all her humble furniture
about her, In the middle of the road
before her little cabin. My friend
was profoundly moved. Here, before
his very eyes, an eviction, v real Irish
eviction, was taking place. He got
out of his car, and he gave the old wo-
man a fiye-pound note.
Tell me- he said, what is the
trouble my poor friend?'
"Bobbing and curtseying her graft
tude, the old woman replied:
Sure, sir, me ould mans white
washing"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25

Military Operations in France.-Stranger
70 French Soldier-Are you marching out
for parade today?
French Soldier-No; today we fight the
Capuchins, tomorrow we besiege a nun
asrJ, and next day we storm a hospital
and an orphan asylum.-Jugend, Munich.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25
Try This Trick.

Two drummers were chatting in a
trolley car.
IT bet you good scent cigar" said
the first drummer. that, without say
ing a word, 1 can make the old boy op-
posite take out his watch and see what
time it is
''Tn take that bet,'' the other an
swered.
Then the first drummer watched the
veteran across the aisle until he caught
his eye, when he drew forth his watch
and looked at it.
The old man, with a thoughtful air
slowly unbuttoned his coat and con-
suited his own timepiece.
"Give me my cigar" said the drum
mer. Its the third I've won today on
this trick. 1t never fails
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25

What Cared She?-Mistress-I am very
nervous about burglars. Be sure to lock
up carefully at night.
New Maid-HaVe no fear, mum.
brought nothin wild me worth takin'.-
Har2er's Weekly.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25

The friend in need is generally a friend
too many.-Chicago Record-Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25

The Curse of Money.-"Money doesn't
always bring happiness and peace of
mind
You are right there" answered the man
with anxious look Sometimes II
tempts you to buy observation-disclosures
ington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25

Tall Bard-Here is an article that says
overeating prevents poets from writing
Short Bsrd-Great Homer! Who ever
ing ?-Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25
Heads I win, Tails You Lose.

"Some women said John w. Gates,
mot all women, but some of them, are
very poor spectators, very poor gam
blers. A young friend of mine has a
pretty cousin. He was going to the races
the other. day, and she called him up on
the telephone and asked him to put SO
on Forrest King for her.
VERY well.' he said; TIL do it if
you'll pay me back
"-Of course I'll pay you back, you
horrid thing exclaimed his cousin.
All right, said he. You didn't last
time
"'Oh, WE'LL said she, last time the
horse didn't win, you know"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25

Most To Be Feared.-Mother Ito futur$
son-in-law)-I may tell you that though
my daughter is well educated, she cannot
cook
Future Son-in-Law-That doesn't matter
much, so long as she doesn't try.-Flie-
gende Batter
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25

And There You Are.-"I say, father"
lueried little Johnny, what's a diplo-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25

Old Gentleman-Here, boy! You don't
suppose am going to take that ricketv
old framework in place of my good new
silk. umbrella. do you?
Bell Boy-Dat'S wot de gemmen said
wot got yohs, SHUTDOWN and Country
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25

Mrs Knicker-I want you to beat this
rug.
Weary wiIlie-Can't do 1t, mum; amt
got any as good.-New York Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25
A LibelOus Yarn.


Alfred G. Vanderbilt was talking
about the train wreck in which he
was last month involved at Mount
Murray.
However" said Mr.. Vanderbilt, 81
have no fault to find with our rail-
roads. In most respects they are the
best in the world
He smiled.
Some people like to attack the rail-
roads. They like to gather statistics
to prove that the railroads are extor-
Tomato, reckless of life. and so on. In
these attacks there is usually about
as much truth as there is in that story
about the railroad in the west.
"a man from the east said that on
a western trip he rode across the
prairies in a train that hardly went
faster than a walk. Cattle, dogs and
tramps passed him. Finally, in a
desolate place. the train stopped.
1.-The passengers began to fume and
fuss. Why this stoppage? What could
be the matter?
''In the midst of the angry turmoil
the conductor came sinking through
the. car He bent over the fastener,
andswith a shamefaced air whispered:
Say, have you got a piece of string
about you? We want to fix the en-
gine.''