The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1907-12-21
|BINes had INSOMNIA
80 NE TRIED the PAINTING cuht
FOR 4 CHANGE

.vou don't look very well inns
.,,n. pings" commented inc
head bookkeeper. WHATS INC
terT -, ,,,ea
p,ngs shortly. "Been trying to cure
my insomnia" - .poener-
,udiciously. I'm troubled that way
sometimes myself. Ever try a httie
hot milk just before retiring!
"There was a hostile glitter IN
p,nes, eve. Eyes," he said. I've
tried little hot milk. I've also tried
the lukewarm bath and the young
onions, and chewing my food ana
the rest of it. And last night trieo
the painting cure"
"The painting cure?" echoed inc
bookkeeper. "And what is that!
Bings went into his vest pocket ana
flashed out q newspaper clipping IL
was from one of the numeous depart
ments that women run in the evening
naner in which they tell you every
thing from how to die to how 10 get
| married. and when the head DOCK
keeper looked it over he found the fol-
| lowing:
Go to bed. Lie fiat on your back
| with arms at side. Have a low pillow,
a rather hard bed, with downy, light
coverings and abundance OF fresh ar
Relax entire body and make vacuum
of your mind. Do not hold yourseh
ON the bed. but let the bed hold YOU
Now YOU are ready to begin. lmi-
tate the painting of tired dog, put
pant through the nose instead OF
through the mouth. (Now you are
laughing. of course. That's the ioea
This is a laugh cure partlyD PANT
away until you are all tired out you
will then be impelled to take several
long. deep breaths and possibly TO
yawn. (This is where the deep breath
ing comes in.) You will notice this
vigorous painting shakes the entire
trunk. as does laughing. Repeat the
alternate painting and deep breathing
till you fall asleep naturally"
VERY interesting" commented the
head bookkeeper; "and how did you
. come out?"
4 II came out by staying awake near
q ly all night" growled Bings. i did
!. everything 1t says, and even went up
u to the spare room to try 1t on. !
q told my wife / was going to sleep In
d the spare room, but l didn't tell her
u that was going to try the cure. Well,
d got laid downfall, as it says-and
le the first thing / tried to do was to
II make vacuum of my mind Ever
% try to make vacuum Of your mind?
i Well, it dosn't work. Little things that
I'd had't worried me in years, came up
II and there lay, fiat. with arms at my
AZ side, on low pillow, and all the
X rest of it trying to get some sleep.
Ell At that stage 1 began the painting
hs painting like a dog, according to the
"a recipe. painted and panted-but 1t
er didn't make me laugh.
70 I'm fact, it got me to thinking what
vr an all-'round darn fool I must look
I'D like lying there with my tongue hang
hi ing out. But kept it up. Pretty
pt soon heard my wife coming upstairs
M "'For goodness sake, John, said
she, what's the matter with your?
"She turned on the gas"
Nothing said. Why
you're making the most peculiar
ila noises-I heard you way downstairs
Did you have q nightmare
Ion the contrary said l. I haven
len been asleep
es John, she said. I know there
her something the matter. Hannah hear
his you, too. II you're Ill don't try t
his conceal it.
mo II saw there was no use. o. onl
q kink In my side,' explained.
my should have known better than to sa
i'm 1t. You see my wife thinks I'm
lnd martyr who suffers in silence
ST hope 1t isn't your old trouble
she said, coming to the bed an
prodding me in the groin. 'Hannal
go get the hot water bottle
II expostulated, but 1t didn't g
Hannah got the hot water bottle. an
what is more, my wife placed It rigl
81 over the pit of my stomach, and 9
most before knew 1t had me swaths
e In hot clothes. She has an idea TIL
2a warmth win drive away any diseas
and although / protested that the
wasn't anything serious the ms
ter with me she worked over me 4
an hour.
1T was then about one o'clock
. the morning. Having finally convinc
her that the slight pain had pass
she left me. OF course there wasl
80 any use trying to pant after II
80 experience, but I lay there a
:. - heard the clock strike two and thr
~ and still no sleep, and I determin