davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The broad ax., 1907-01-19
GERMAN GLEANINGS.

In order to replace a lost thumb a
young man in Berlin has had a great
toe amputated and grated on the
stump. The operation has proved sue
cessful
Queen Wilhelmlna recently shipped
some cows from Holland for her hus-
bands estate In Mecklenburg- Schwer-
in. But they were stopped at the Ger
man frontier under the law forbiddlng
the importation Of foreign cattle
This dramatic criticism appeared In
the Manner Neueste Nachrichten: The
Maid of Orleans was born In the vii
lage Of Domremy Jan. @, 1412. On
May 80. 1431, she was burned alive in
the market place OF Rouen, and on Oct.
%, 1906 she was buried in the theater
OF Mayence. Requiescat in pace"
The smokeless condition In Berlin is
ascribed to the preponderant use Of
smokeless fuel in the form of coke and
briquets. the skillful, scientific con-
struction OF boiler furnaces and chin
neys and finally to the high standard
Of skill taught and enforced among
f1remen who stoke furnaces with coal
for steam and other purposes.
The broad ax., 1907-01-19
Painting Barrels.

Did you ever see a Standard Oil man
paint a barrel? No? 1t is a revela-
ton. Tricks in all trades. The oil bar
rels, as every well informed man
should know STANDARD Oil being the
biggest thump in the world, are blue
as to bilge and bulge and white as to
heads. The completed barrel is rolled
into the shop by thousands. A man
steps up with a brush OF white paint
and with three swipes executes a de-
sign upon the head, then spins the bar
rel along. II is caught by another man
with a brush deeply dipped in blue
paint. He takes the rim between his
thumb and fingers, gives 1t whirl and
while that barrel is spinning runs his
brush up and down. In less than three
seconds that barrel is all blue. Then
as it spins along the man with the
white paints keels 1t over and with
three more swipes makes the other
head white. Talk about your bowling
alleys!-New York Press.
The broad ax., 1907-01-19
A Dollar Too mich.

Hannibal Hamlin, the war vice pres
ident. was responsible for the following
story on himself:
A man named Pearson walking along
the main street in Bangor stepped into
a hole and broke his leg. He engaged
Hamlin as counsel and brought suit
against the city for $1,000.
Hamlin won his case, but the city
appealed. Again the decision was for
the plaintiff. After settling up the
claim Hamlin sent for his client and
handed him a dollar.
whats this?' asked Pearson.
why" said Hamlin, after taking
out my fee. the cost of the appeal and
several other expenses that's your dam
ages"
Pearson gazed at the dollar and then
at Hamlin- Whats the matter with
ItY' he asked finally. us it bad?"-
Ridgway's.
The broad ax., 1907-01-19
FEW CRACK 6ILLlAKOISTS.
Sckaefer Deserves Most Credit For
Improving the Game.

ScEaefer Deserves Most Credit For
Improving the Game.
The fact that very few first class bill
liardists have ever been developed is
one Of the strange features of the
game. Vignaux, Schaefer and Slosson
have been champions more than thirty
yeats, the only others developed dur
ing all this time being Ives. Hoppe and
Sutton, most remarkable showing. not
to be paralleled in any other branch Of
sport.
OF all the experts Schaefer deserves
most credit for the development OF the
game to its present high standard. He
always has been anxious and willing
10 aid in the development OF young
sters, and Ives, Hoppe. Morningstar
and Sutton all were his pupils. The
balk line nurse. the feature OF play re-
sponsible for all high runs. however, Is
the invention OF Sutton, and when as a
shortstop he first sprung 1t he Occa-
stoned great surprise
Schaefer is the father of all the rules
under which billiards are played. At
various times he has surmounted by
his Inventive genius the many barriers
imposed on experts to decrease their
speed and necessitated the making OF
new restrictions, for the other experts
could all take advantage OF the new
discoveries as soon as they came to
know them. and almost unending runs
were the result
In a championship contest between
Jake and Ives the latter sat down with
IA to go. and Schaefer came to bat
with 566 to go. The largest run ever
made up TO that time had been 2SS,
and the Wizard seemed to have but
little show to win. His great inventive
genius came to the rescue. however.
the anchor nurse was discovered, and
Schaefer ran the game out. This was
the only time the anchor nurse was
allowed in a match game. for Ives aft
er Ii was discovered could play il as
we'll as Schaefer, and as it made the
game too easy 1t was Immediately
barred.
Incidental to the above game. Frank
White. a well known Chicago sport.
won a most remarkable bet from Leo
Mayer, the well known bookmaker. AS
Schaefer walked up TO the table in the
final inning White turned around TO
Mayer. who was making books on the
contest. and said, What are the odds
now, LeoT' Zone hundred to l." said
Mayer. III bet you So" said White.
Done" said Leo. And when the game
was over Leo had to settle with the
wise Mr. White, who. billiard player
himself. knew that a game was never
over until the last point was made
Washington Post.
The broad ax., 1907-01-19
Murder 20 Order.

Several years ago an ARRAY in q
western mining town resulted in muir
der, but Senator Thurston OF Nebraska,
believing the man who was accused to
have had an innocent intention, took
up his case and had the punishment
lightened. Six months afterward q
man, armed to the teeth. appeared In
the senator's Office.
"Are you Squire ThurstOn?" he roar
ed.
yes" said the senator.
"And are you the fellow that helped
Jack Hurley at court?"
The senator. thinking his time had
come. again answered, Yes"
We'll" said the man with the guns
and bowie knives, I'm Hurley's pard-
ner, an I've come to pay you
haven't any money, but I'm a man OF
honor Anybody In town you don't
likeT'
The senator assured him there was
not, but the man looked incredulous
and said: Put on your hat, squire. an
take a walk down the street with me.
See anybody you don't like just throw
up your thumb. an I'll pop him.
New York Tribune.
The broad ax., 1907-01-19
SHORT STORIES.

Forty years ago artificial teeth were
often made Of hippOpOtamus ivory.
The senior class Of the Belfast (Me.)
High school gave a ''skiddoo" dance
the other night The admission was q
cents, and every twenty-thlrd person
was admitted free.
The chimney Of a gold smelling fur
mace at Vallejo Junction, Cal, was
cleaned recently, and the SCOT was
chemically treated in the gold dust
room. II contained dust worth 5000.
By naming his ten children after as
many states a South Carolina valley
farmer has proved his patriotism. His
six daughters are named Carolina, Vlr-
ginia, Georgia, Florida, Jersey and Ida
no, while the boys are known as Tex
as, Tennessee, Ohio and Missouri.
Thomas Hudam after careful studies
declares that the average man Of fifty
looks back on 1880 days lived awake
and 6,212 asleep. To work 6.34S days
have been devoted, but to pleasure only
4,192. Disease has claimed 900 days
and slight indispositions the same num-
her
The broad ax., 1907-01-19
Not EnouEh Evidence.

Not many years ago prominent
citizen Of Haverhill was arrested for
the unlawful sale Of liquor. On being
searched a half flask Of brandy was
found. That being the only evidence,
the Judge charged the jury. They had
been out but five minutes when they
returned. and the foreman queried:
your honor, how do we know tne
flask contains brandy? 1 would Ike TO
take the flask into the jury room"
he was given the flask, and soon the
jury returned.
aHave you agreedT' the foreman was
asked
I'VE have" he answered I'VE ma
the defendant not guilty" And. exhib-
Iting the now empty flask. he added
There was not enough evidence to go
around" The defendant was discharg-
Herald.
The broad ax., 1907-01-19
The Three Peanut States.

Virginia, Tennessee and Georgia are
the leading peanut states. In Virginia
the white peanut and the small red
peanut are the varieties chiefly pro-
duced, while Georgia also largely pro-
duces this small red nut. In Tennessee
the white nut, which is larger than the
red. and the larger variety Of the red
nut are raised. The chief peanut coun-
ties are Humphreys. Perry, Hickman
and Dickson. but the area Of peanut
cultivation has been enlarged In more
recent years. Few peanuts are pro-
duced in east or west Tennessee. but
in the counties named they are the
chief money crop Of large per cent OF
the farmers. The peanut has many
names = oober, pindar, earth nut
ground nut, ground pea. Northern SOL
diers called them COOLERS, and there
was a well known song entitled Grab
bing Goober Peas" which was a IA
vorite with troops marching through
Georgia. "-Nashville American.
The broad ax., 1907-01-19
(ELE!CTIONA
SE3A
THE HUMAN BODY.
THE END.

II In q Mass of Tiny SOapy GIobuIea
Called "MyeIins."
Man is made Of soap and not Of dust,
according to a statement recently de-
livered before the Harvey society at
the Academy of Medicine in New York
city by Professor ]. G. Adami
Man is not entirely made of soap. of
course, but there are scattered through
his body an unknown number of tiny
globules called ''myelins," which are
now believed to be primitive form OF
true soap. 1t is the only pure type of
soap on earth, and scientists say it
may be that man was originally con-
structed on a self cleansing principle.
All he had to do was to exercise his
will power-think hard-and set his
myriads of soap globules in motion.
The soapy nature Of human beings
has been discovered by means Of the
polarizing microscope. Professor Ada
mi gave a history of the curious re-
searches which led up to the great
find" Fifty years ago Virchow
stumbled on the presence OF myelin
globules in nearly every tissue of the
body. They were plentiful in the brain.
They dissolved in hot alcohol. Strong
alkalis caused them to shrink. Vir-
chow thought the myelins were albu-
mems.
1t was not until 1898 1t was discover
ed they possessed peculiar retroactive
power. Finally Professor Lohlein Of
Carlsruhe made an elaborate study of
the globuIes and showed under the po-
larizing microscope they had queer
cross markings and were In reality
liquid crystals" showing precisely
the same markings as soap globules.
This was considered sufficient to dem
onstrate their identity with soap.
The myelins. or soap globules, seem
to contain a remarkable substance in
termediate between fluids and crys-
tals-New York World.
The broad ax., 1907-01-19
ENOUGH SAID.

How Ben TiIlman Was Identined by
q Money Order Clerk.
Senator Tillman tells a story on him
self as to how he was Identified by a
postofflce money order clerk when he
first arrived at the Capital City.
After being in the city a few days he
dropped In at the postoffice to cash a
money order.
do you know any one here who
could identify you?" asked the clerk.
well. no." the senator answered. us
that necessary? l am Ben Tillman Of
South Carolina"
The clerk smiled, then asked the SEN
ator IL he didn't have some letters or
papers that would make him known to
the postoffice authorities.
The senator had put on a new suit
that morning and had neglected to
transfer his letters, but he had his
pocketbOOk with him. Digging down
In his trousers pocket, he drew forth
his wallet and proceeded to search for
an article OF Identification, but could
find nothing but a small photograph
IF himself.
This will do, / suppose" he said,
handing 1t to the money order clerk.
"Why. sure! That's you, all right" "
remarked the man behind the counter.
handing over the cash. - LipplncOtt's
Magazine.
The broad ax., 1907-01-19

ball. In some way myself and several
other fellow students received invita-
tons. Before starting for the dukes
place / was informed that a dlstin-
guished Algerian princess was to be
at the ball. She was said to be Great
ing quite a sensation in the city, and
naturally l had some curiosity to see
her.
Arriving at the dukes palace, be-
held a very dark skinned lady with
thick lips, who was pointed out to me
as the distinguished Algerian princess.
Everybody was talking Italian, and 1
could understand very little that was
going on. My suspicious were aroused.
however, and, edging my way close
up to the so called royal parsonage, 1
whispered:
"'Say, niger. what part of the south
are you from?
Her royal highness turned on me
with a surprised look and replied, rs
from South Carolina, boss, but please
don't give me away
81 Observation-Disclosures Post
The broad ax., 1907-01-19
winanun of CeIIuIoId.

One of the many uses to which cellu-
lOId is put is in supplying window
lights for the curtains Of automobile
tops. CeIluloid is made in sheets OF
extreme thinness down to a thickness
Of only flve-one thousandths Of an inch.
and such sheets Of celluloid can be
rolled up as readily and closely as
sheets OF paper. From sheets OF trans
parent ceIluloid pieces are cut OF the
sizes required for the windows, and
when these have been set in place they
can be rolled up with the curtain, like
any other part Of it. While the win
dow Of celluloId can thus be readily
rolled I'D 1t is liable to be denied or
rumpled, as a roll of paper would be
II crushed, and so celluloid is not per-
feet material for this use, but 1t ap-
pears to be the best that has yet been
found.
The broad ax., 1907-01-19

our black brethren, talents equal to those
of the other colors of men, and that
the appearance of want of them is
owing only to the degraded condition
Of their existence, both in Africa and
America. / can add, with truth, that
no one wishes more ardently to see a
GOOD system commenced for raising the
condition, both of their body and mind,
TO what it ought to be, as fast as the
imbecility of their present existence and
other circumstances which cannot be
neglected, will admit. l have taken the
liberty of sending your almanac to
Monsieur de Condorcet, Secretary 81
the Academy of Sciences at Paris, and
member of the Philanthropic Society.
because l considered it a document to
which your whole color had a right,
for their justification against the doubts
which have been entertained of them.
4 am, with great esteem, sir,
Your most obedient servant,
Thomas Jefferson"
Mr. Benjamin Banneker, near e.
licott's Lower Mills, Baltimore Co."
THE END.
The broad ax., 1907-01-19
ENGLISH ETCHINGS.

On an average $4,000 letters are post
ed without addresses In England every
year.
There have been landslips Of thirty
or forty acres at time at Lyme Regis.
England. whole fields sliding toward
the sea.
One million two hundred and fifty
thousand Bibles are contained In the
new warehouse Of the British and For
eign Bible society in Queen Victoria
street, London.
A Lowestoft England servant, who
successfully sued her mistress in lieu
of notice, stated that she was dismiss
ed because she got up early one fine
Sunday morning and went for a TWEEN
ty minutes walk.
A book which once belonged to Ben
Jonson and In which he made notes
and wrote his signature and motto was
sold in London the other day for $500.
The handwriting is minute and beauu-
fuI. It is a copy Of Martial.
The broad ax., 1907-01-19
Mind Football Fans.

When the 200 inmates Of Henshaw's
Blind asylum. Manchester. sat down to
tea the other evening an officer read
out to them the announcement In the
Daily Mail Of a special edition for the
blind. There was a burst OF applause
when the reading was over. followed
by a buzz OF animated discussion.
1T is surprising" said Mr.. NJ. 81.
Illingworth. the governor. what a
keen interest the blind take In field
sports. They follow the game Of foot
ball In detail"
Have you ever been to a football
matchT he asked a blind youth.
YES" he replied.
"And you know the playersT
"Yes, 1 know them all and every
thing that is going on."-LondOn Mail
The broad ax., 1907-01-19
In Prniae of Pence.

Alfred II. Love, the president Of the
Universal Peace union, told the other
day in Philadelphia q peace story.
"At this Christmas season." he said,
''men talk sincerely about loving one
another, about the universal brother
hood Of man, and in the same breath
they assert that ii is right to burn and
main and kill in war.
'They are not so logical as a young
colored recruit who served in the Phil
ippines.
This young man at the end Of his
initial engagement was hailed before
his captain.
$50 you ran at first fire, did your
said the captain scornfully.
"'Yes, sab, an I'd "a run sooner, sab,
II I'd knowed il wuz comin''
"cHave you no regard for your repu-
tation, Calhoun?
"Mah reputation hain't muffin to
me, sab, 'longside o. nah life
'"The captain smiled and twirled bis
mustache. Here was an intelligent
young man. He'd talk him over to the
right point Of view.
"'Even IL you should lose your life,
Calhoun he said, you'd have the sat
isfaction of knowing that you had died
for your country
"'wot satisfaction could dat be to
me- sab, when de power o. feelin' 1t
wuz goneT
Then patriotism means nothing to
your
Nuthin', sab. I wouldn't put nah
life In de scales ag'In for any govern
nent dat eber existed, for no govern
ment could replace de loss O. me-
"'Calhoun, IL all soldiers were like
you, the worlds governments would all
go 70 pieces
"On de contrary, sab, dey'd last for
eber, for IL all soldiers wuz Ike me,
den dere couldn't neber be no fight
in'.'"-Washington Star.
The broad ax., 1907-01-19
BUSINESS DIPLOMACY.

Ees fat Dootch barber gotta shop
Tree door from deesa bootblack stan,
An wen he see da trade l gat
He try for bust me eef he can.
An so he geeve outside hees shop
A chair for neegger bootblack man.
You theenk dat am feela bad
For see heem gat SOM trade had3
All. no. my frand;
/ max pretand
To smile an seeng, / am so gladl
FRS theeng you know ees Meester
Smeeth.
Dat use for gat hees shine from me.
He stop for shine from neegger man.
max pretand do not see.
But neegger man he max da face
An ees 50 glad as he can be.
You theenk dat am feela bad
For see heem gat dees trade had2
All. no. my frand:
max pretand
To smile an seeing, am so glad!
Mex day wen comesa Meester Smeeth
say Good norma justa same.
So Jus baycause am polite
Eet maksa Meester Smeeth ashame'.
So he com back: so ezra wan
Ees COM back where dey always came.
Da neegger man ees gatta mad
An growl an swear he feel so bad,
But, oh. my frand.
i max pretnnd
/ do not see. but am glad!
IT. A Daily in Catholic Standard and
Times.
The broad ax., 1907-01-19
When II Failed to Work.

There Is at present serving a term in
the penitentiary at Moundsville a for
mer official of the postofice depart
ment convicted Of graft" on many
counts. The delinquent in question had
always been most friendly with the
Washington newspaper correspond
ents. and when he was arrested and
lodged in Jail at the national capital
there was a rush Of the newspaper
men to the Jail, they being confident of
securing an interview.
The accused, however. refused to be
seen, and his message to them was
most characteristic:
Tell them" said he to the warden,
that am not in."-Ridgway's
The broad ax., 1907-01-19
A swell BootbIaek.

A bootblack wearing a diamond stud
and whose linen is as spotless as that
worn by those whose shoes he shines Is
one Of the fixtures Of a government
building In this city. He was highly
Insulted when a passing stranger, see
ing his Exit" asked him to polish 'em
upr In a loud voice the son Of Italy
gave the well Intentioned offender to
understand that he "shined only by
contract" This is a fact. and when at
the end Of each month he collects his
fees" the bootblack's pile in profits
amounts to as much as the salaries Of
some Of the men who employ him and
is really In excess Of that paid to many.
Philadelphia Record.
The broad ax., 1907-01-19
single and Plural $ Germans.

A journalist In Berlin has been exer'
cisIng his ingenuity In attempts to ex'
plain the meaning of the letter S which
appears with more or less frequency
after the names Of German military Of
flcers In the records kept at the minis
try of war and In the kaiser's military
cabinet. He has come to the following
conclusions: One s after an officers
name means that this particular officer
''sauft' drinks; SIS means that he
''sauft stark" drinks hard; SIS de-
notes that he "sauft sehr stark" drinks
very hard; SSSS means that he 'sauft
sehr stark schnapps" drinks very hard
schnapps): finally. SSSSS means that
the ''schnapps" is ''schlecht" Dad. Any
officer with five SIS is summarily dis
missed by the kaiser.
The broad ax., 1907-01-19
NEW SHORT STORIES
A Southern Prineer..

The reputation Of John Sharp VIII
liams, the minority leader Of the house,
as story teller is too firmly establish
ed to need any comment Whenever
he gets started In that direction an i'm
promptu audience is always sure to as
semble. However, he is careful to
avoid putting too much humor In his
speeches delivered on the floor Of the
house. as experience has proved that
q statesman with ambition cannot af-
ford to be known as a mirth provoker.
Here Is a story told by Mr.. Williams
to select coterie Of friends:
Years ago, when l was a student at
Florence, Italy" he began, "a certain
duke, whose name has escaped my
memory for the moment. gave a swell
The broad ax., 1907-01-19
The Terror. of Indigestion.

A squire OF Andover decided to take
into his employ a brother Of Patrick,
one Of his hired men. The terms were
made with Pat before his brothers ar
rival, and the following conversation is
a specimen OF what they agreed upon:
Squire-I'n pay your brother $1.50 a
day, Patrick.
Patrick-Yis, sor; yis, sor. And will
he ate himself or will ye ate him?
The squire thought Mike had better
eat himself.-Harper's Weekly.
The broad ax., 1907-01-19

What sex is a motor car? Should 1t
be spoken Of as he, she or it? For in
stance, a man was overheard in hotel
dining room saying to his companion,
a woman, yes, she's a forty horse
power Walter car" The woman at
once protested against his speaking Of
the Walter as she" Then he told her
that 1t had a bonnet worth $50, and she
quit arguIng.-Jervis Auto Letter.
The broad ax., 1907-01-19
The Occaaion OF RevelGtionn.

Il suppose you know all about this
titled son-in-law you are to haveT said
The familiar friend.
Il don't know as / do" confessed
Mr.. Cumrox. at appears like nobody
knows all about anybody these days
until somebody in the family goes into
court for a dIvorce."-washington Star.
The broad ax., 1907-01-19
Safety In silence.

Mrs. Gaymon-Yes, auntie, now that
I am Herbert's wife, he is another
man.
Aunt Martha-Well, don't you go tell
ing people you're another mans wife
or you'll be getting tried for bigamy.-
New York Life.
The broad ax., 1907-01-19

The Author-And do you always at
tend first nights, Miss Madison?
The Girl-As often as possible. l
think there is always an added interest
on a first night. One feels then that
ones opinion really carries weight
The Author-But-er-w Is 1t. may
I ask, that you throw?-Pick-Me-Up
The broad ax., 1907-01-19
II WouId BE Novel.

'sThackeny probably thought himself
original when he produced a novel
without a hero"
"well, can you beat hlmT'
EASY; a novel without a conserva-
tory!'-washingto Herald.
The broad ax., 1907-01-19
A Good Homa for children.

Wanted children, either White or
Colored to board and room, they will
receive the care of good mother |;
Charges reasonable. Mrs. L Coleman,
zS3o Armour Ave, I'd AH&
The broad ax., 1907-01-19
Not Sentiment.

He-Oh. please. Mile. Jeanne, do not
call me Mr.. Durand!
She (coyly)-Oh, but our acquaint-
ance Is so short. Why should not
call you that?
He-Well. chiefly because my name
Is Dupont.-Nos Loisirs.
The broad ax., 1907-01-19
Not the Weather.

Tom-Why don't you call on Miss
Hautton?
Dick-Too cold.
Tom-What are you talking about?
Why, the weather has nothing to
Dick-You misunderstood me. She
invited me not to.-New Orleans Times
Democrat.
The broad ax., 1907-01-19

Deacon Sunhower-So you doan'
think de route to de happy land will be
obehcrowded?
Deacon Primrose - No, deacon /
doan' think twill be necessary to cling
to a strap.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The broad ax., 1907-01-19

Knight-How did your new comedy
go?
wright-Oh, you mean my tragedy?
Knight-But l thought it was COM
edy.
Wright thought so, too, until saw
the box office receipts.-Chicago News.
The broad ax., 1907-01-19
The COnseauenee.

as It true that Waldorf died poorT'
Eyes. You see, he lost his health
chasing after fortune and then lost his
fortune chasing after health. "-Lippin-
COTS MAGAZINE.