The Ellensburg dawn. [volume] (Ellensburg, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1907-04-09
MUNICH ALUNACY,
Edited by JOHN KENDRICK BANGS.

PROFESSOR Byron Scribble, the distin.
guished poet and president of the Higgs-
Vile Authors club, has been placed
In charge of the municipal gas plant at
Niggsville, Ind. Professor Scribble has
had no previous experience in the man
ufacture of gas, but there is no man in
the IIoosier State who can handle vari
Gus kinds Of meters better than he.
and under his administration it is
hoped the produce will more closely re-
semble the divine atllatus than hith-
erto.
The estimated loss of $500 per diem
upon the city owned Staten Island fer
~ IN New York will be met not, as has
been feared, by an increase of the tax
levy, but by the printing of Il sufficient
number Of tons of ferry bonds to be
used as fuel as substitute for coal,
thereby saving vast sums of money
and the whole bond issue being con
sumed without adding any future OBJ
legations, interest bearing or otherwise,
to the city debt.
The city authorities of Glasgow adj
mitted loss last year of 100000 on the
operations Of their gas plant Mr..
Sandy MacNab, the humorst Of Troon,
has written to the Glasgow Sunday
American stating that these figures are
more Illuminating than the gas, which
strikes the American mind as a pretty
good joke for a Scotchman.
We hear on good authority that when
the city of Chicago finally enters upon
the operation Of the street car system
the substitution of hammocks and
swinging chairs for straps is not seri-
ously contemplated.
A sarcastic correspondent, who has
read recently that the operating eX-
penses' of the Lakewood co. electric
light plant show a cost of $129.5G
per arc, writes to ask how this COM
pares proportionately to the expense
Of running Noah's ark. The question
Is respectfully referred to the Union
Theological seminary. We frankly
confess that we do not know the an
swer.
People who live in glass houses
should not throw stones. A James
town IN. " man, who complained re-
Gently that the municipality owned
electric lights of that town We're fire.
Quently out all night was laughed out
Of court because he had to confess
that he was often out all night HIM
self.
One-fifth Of the garbage Of the city
Of New York Is consumed daily in OPP
Grating the electric lighting plant by
which the Williamsburg bridge IS IL
Illuminated, a mile and half long, or.
counting both roadways, three miles.
This means that only per cent OF
New Yorks 900 miles of street light
Ing could be provided for If all the
garbage available were used for that
purpose. IT, therefore, as has been ad-
vocated the public buildings and thor
oughfares should be lighted by cleo
tricity secured through the burning OF
this commodity, 1t IS surely up to the
loyal citizens Of New York to produce
more garbage than they do at present.
1t Is to be hoped that this hint will be
sufficient to induce the taxpayers to
act, for, If they do not, who knows
how long 1t will be before the city
finds itself at the mercy Of an I'M
scrupulous, privately owned garbage
manufacturing company, organized for
no other purpose than to put the small
garbage producer out Of business and
TO secure the emoluments which be-
long TO and should therefore accrue to
the benefit of the people themselves!