The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-03-17
ELIPH HEWITT AND THE BIG STICK [....@~@@@z

When word has appendicitis he says.
I am not the one to say the appendix
should not be removed. My own has
been. But to take a healthy American
word, one that our ancestors fought
and bled for in the Declaration of indie
pendence, and chop off its hind legs and
graft on a boiled caulifiower instead is
against my principles All right. Jar
by l says. but print it in simplified,
just the same"
you must have had some good rea-
son to make you stick out So said
Gilthorp, with growing interest.
Il did" said Eliph' Hewitt. What's
three hundreds wOrds?' / says to Jar
by. Three hundred says he, three
hundredl Who says they simplified
three hundred? Nowhere near it he
says. That's the deceitfulness of
them; half the list is words everybody
uses. Use jail instead of gaol say they.
And who in the last hundred years ever
used gaol anyhow? Use favor instead
of favour, say they. And who that
ever sang the Star Spangled Banner"
up to where his voice fizzled out on the
high notes. which is all any American
can do. ever used favour? No one
But into the list them words went
says JaTby, 50 that folks would say,
What difference? Half the words is
0tAtll d. We uSt. any lON Llit Ai~l Ncii
be so bad after all" It's as if says
Jarby. a man should come to you with
plan for simplifying your face, and
had a list of four things for you to ac-
cept. Item one, to wear one nose. Item
two, to wear one mouth. We'll, why
not ," you say. I do that already. so
where can be the harm of the rest Of
the list?" and the rest of the list is:
Item three, to wear but one ear. Item
four, to wear but one eye. And says
Jarby. the Same way these fellerS
hand you favor and Jail, and then when
you are not looking they stick q thru
into your back Says I, Jarby, there's
sense in what you say. but you 20
ahead and print the new edition in the
simplifed.'"
I guess" said Mr.. Gilthorp. that
you was thinking Of selling the book
to these here ignorant foreigners that s
coming to America by shiploads.. wasn't
you? That was what made you stick
out, wasn't it,"
That's your benevolent spirit. Mr..
Gilthorp." said Eliph' Hewitt. land it's
kind in You to think of that for all the
men. women and children of Europe.
Asia and Africa. full descriptions of all
which continents, together with maps
and tables of their flora and fauna are
given in this useful moral and enter
tanning volume, the price Of Which is
but s.. neatly bound III cloth. 81 down
and 81 month until paid. The thought
does you credit. You think of the poor
Mr.. CzygvkOWitz from WzluckgZzbg, |
and of the little WlldllSllffs from Rnn-
yrbyggln. and you consider how hard
1t is for them to learn a spelling like |
the English. You see how the difficult (
ties Of the English spelling book arc |
keeping thousands of emigrants from
our shores and dapopulating Baxter |
street. You see how the crueIties of I
American spelling are keeping out the (
Chinese, who hate to leave their native +,
land and their simple spelling, in which I
a map of the railways of Ohio. a |
wrecked chicken coop and a stroke of |
lightning, together with the other svm-
bols met with on the tea chest, spell |
the word cat You see how the Japan |
ese refuse 10 attend the schools of San
Francisco, although the San Francis
-Oans beg them to, and just because the
spelling lessons are SO hard. Yes. I /
thought of that, but it was not my rea-
son for saying to Jarby, Print it sim !
plified, Jarby.'"
If you had such a good reason" said /
MIR. Giltharp, why didn't he print out
the whole book simDlified instead of