Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1907-05-30
Wit and HumOr
Of
BEN TILLMAN,

BEN TILLMAN.
USiR9saah Of the r H1f
man as the
saN typical fire eater he
n is about the last
W~ man that would be
~ suspected of any
~ thing so genial as
, p. humor. That con-
@s sSA ception of him is
SsS ~ now becoming some
~ what modified, or
possibly he is be-
coming mellOwed himself. At any rate.
rich vein of wit has been found in
the South Carolina senator, though his
thrusts are somewhat rough and saw
age, like the man.
When Tillman was governor there
was revolt against his famous liquor
dispensary law. He called out the
militia, and the members of one COM
pany rendered their designations. The
governor dismissed them in a charac-
teristic letter, closing as follows:
"4ou can depart to your homes You
do not deserve it, but 1 will pay your
hotel bill and trust that 1 may never
be bothered with any more such band
box and holiday soldiers
In his first speech in the senate the
South Carolina man paid his respects to
President Cleveland in rather savage
fashion. He recOunted how he had
come to Washington as governor to
attend Cleveland's Inauguration, stand
ing out for several hours In Il drizzling
rain to see the first Democratic eXecu-
tive since the war Then Tillman
raised laugh by vehemently exclaim-
ing:
God forgive me for being such Il
fool"
1t was some time before this that
Tillman had made the thrust at the
president which fastened on the South
Carolinian the sobriquet of "Pitchforz
Ben" It was as follows:
But if 1 go to the senate 1 promise
that will use pitchfork in the presi-
dents fat old ribs
At another time Senator Tillman ex-
claimed:
81 would rather go to hell with my
followers than to heaven with the 9th
er crowd"
To a Columbia audience In his own
state he said: This is the fifth time
I've tried to poke some sense into the
heads of you people, but 7 suppose you
don't want it, and L think you had bet
ter beat your drums and stampede like
a lot of towards, as you did the second
time l came here"
Later at the same meeting:
you are a set of old fossils, and you
can go to the devil in your own way.
I don't want your votes"
This is rather grim humor, it must
be admitted. Of a somewhat gentler
quality is the following, given at the
time of his row with his colleague,
Senator MCLaurin: A young reporter
was gathering statistics as to the ia
vorite recreations. and books of Wash
ingtOn notables When the South
Carolina man was approached he look
ed the reporter over quizzically and re-
piled:
every one knows my favOrite recre-
ation-having fun with McLaurin. My
fayorite book is IF Christ Came to
Congress-
The reporter thanked him and asked
where Senator DepeW might be found.
"Why," said Tillman, "Chauncey Is
in Europe, but" he continued, with a
sly CLEAN in his one eye, II can give
you the information you seek. De-
pew's favOrite recreation is playing
penuchIe, and his favorite author is e.
P. Roe"
"Can you tell me his fayOrite Work|
certainly. Senator Depew's favor
lite work is Opening a Chestnut
Burr"
Senator Tillman dropped into the war
department one day to see Secretary
Taft.
"See here" exclaimed the secretary,
who had just assumed spectacles-"see
here what you have driven me to with
your attacks on my character and mo-
tives. You have forced me to take to
glasses"
"Well," responded Senator Tillman,
II hope sincerely it will enable you to
see the constitution now"
The South Carolina man got dry fun
out of the rate bill fight. When Aid
rich accused him of abandoning his
own measure when the Hepburn bill
was placed in his charge, Tillman re
sponded:
81 never deserted my baby, but the
senator from Rhode Island insisted
upon putting his own dress upon it.
That was distasteful to me- and the
bantling is sleeping peacefully. Then
some one dropped another kid in my
house, and 1 am holding it. 1 won't
deny that 1 am suspicious of the pa
ternity of the brat and of the brat
itself"
During one Of the daily colloquies
that occurred between the two Senator