Los Angeles herald., 1907-01-20
.BASHFUL BILL
COURTS WIDOW
OLD STORY MAKES BIG HIT AT
SUNDERLAND
Recital Of Series Of Mlshaps Which
Befall One Who Determined
to Win Sweetheart Of
Early Days

The following humorous skit was pub
lished In small weekly paper at Ma
con, Mo, some time previous to 1865
The author is not believed to be known
by any one now living.
The sketch was recently read by AL
len Parkinson at a musical and literary
entertainment at Summerland, Cal.
The reading made an instantaneous
hit and many demands have been made
for n copy of the paper.
j. w. T. Morris of 416 West Sixth
street has had the clipping since 1861
Mr.. Morris had charge of the program
for the Summerland entertainment, re-
called the success which met the read
ing of the humorous yarn forty-two
years ago, resurrected it and turned IL
over to Mr.. Parkerson, who also made
a tremendous hit when he read IL.
BILL AND THE WIDOW
Wife" said ED Wilbur one morning,
looking across the table into the bright
eyes Of his neat little wife. wouldn't
it be a good joke to get Bachelor Bill
show next week."
You can't do it. Ed; he won't ask
her, he's so awful shy. Why, he came
up here the other morning when l was
hanging out some clothes and looked
over the fence and spoke, but when [
shook out a nightgown he blushed like
a girl and went away"
II think l can manage it," said Ed.
Il know she likes him. and he don't
dislike her; but. as you say, he's so
shy. I'll just go over to his place to
borrow some bags OF him and if l don't
bag him before l come back don't kiss
me for a week, Nellie"
SO saying. Ed started, and while he
is crossing the field we will take q
glance at Bill Smiley. He was a rather
good looking fellow. He wore a set of
artificial teeth. He had as good a hum
dred-acre farm rs any in Norwich, with
new house and everything comforta-
hle, and If he wanted a wife manyfa
girl would have jumped at the chance
But Bill was so observation-disclosures was
and when Susan Berrybottle, whom he
was so sweet on, though he never said
boo to her, got married to old Wade he
just drew in his head like a mud turtle
into its shell and there was no getting
HIM out again, though it had been no
ticed that since Susan had become "A
widow he had paid more attention to
his clothes and been very regular in
at the church the fair Wild
ow attended.
But here comes Ed Wilbur.
Good morning, Mr.. Smiley"
Good morning, Mr.. Wilbur; what's
the news up your way"
"Oh, nothing particular, that know
of" said Ed, ''only the show that
everybody is talking about and every
body and his girl is going, too. I was
over to old SaCkriders last night and
1 saw his son Gus had got a new
buggy, and was scrubbing up his
horses, and he's got that white-faced
colt of his as slick as seal. 1 under
Wade to the show. He's been hang
ing around there a good deal of late,
but I'd just like to cut him out. Susan
is nice little woman and deserves
a better man than that young pup of
a fellow, though l don't blame her
much either if she takes him, for she
must be dreadful lonesome; and then
she has to let her farm out on shares
and it isn't half worked, and no one
else seems to have the spunk to speak
to her. BY jingo! if I We're a single
man 1 would show a trick or two"
So saying Ed borrowed some bags
and started away to the corner of the
barn where he had left Bill sweeping
and put his ear to the keyhole and
listened. knowing the bachelor had
habit of talking to himself when any,
thing worried him.
"Confound that young Sackrder,"
said Bill; what business has he there,
I'd like to know? Got a new buggy,
has he? Well, so have I, and a new
harness, too, and his horse can't get
in sight of mine. I declare, I've half
mind to-yes, I'll go this very night
and ask her to go to the show with
me. I'll show that Ed Wilbur that
I amt such a calf as he thinks
am, if l did let old Wade get the
start of me in the first place"
Ed could scarcely help laughing out
right, but hastily hitched the bag on
his shoulder and, with a low chuckle
at his success. started home to tell
the news to Nellie; and about o'clock
in the afternoon they saw Bill go by
with his horse and buggy on his way
to the Widows. He logged along quiet
ly, thinking of the old singing g-school
days and what a pretty girl Susan was
then and wondering inwardly If he
would have more courage now to talk
to her until, at a distance of about
a mile from her house he came to a
bridge over a creek, and it so hap
Dened that lust at the middle of the