Pleasantville weekly press., 1907-06-15
=SSI5[9N!6


DID l understand You to say that
my appearance had improved?" mo.
said you looked more like yourself"
Life.
Dear Robert, 1 intend to share all
your cares But, my pet, have no
cares" II mean after we are mar
ried. ."-Fliegende Blatter.
Briggs-My wife had birthday yes-
terday, and We took day off. Griggs
When mine has birthday she takes
year off.-Casselrs Journal.
Hadsum-I want a good revolver.
Dealer-A six shooter? Hadsum-Bet-
ter make it a nine shooter. It's for
cat next door.-Ally Sloper.
do you know, my husband, had a
terrible habit Of sleeping in chusch, but
he broke himself of it!" "How?"
Gave up going -Sketchy Bits.
Teacher-What is a coal magnate,
Tommie? Tommie-I don't know,
madam; only thought those things
come in cheese !-Yonkers Statesman.
Missionary-Andd do you know moth
ing whatever of religion? Cannibal-
Well, we got taste Of it when the
last missionary was here.-Cleveland
Leader.
Roberts-Poor Williams died and left
wife and three children. Jones
That's nothing. He was too mean to
take them anywhere when he was liv-
ing.-Life.
Friend-I suppose the baby Is fond
Of you? Papa-Fond Of me? Why he
sleeps all day when I'm not at home
and stays up all night just to enjoy
my society News.
Mrs. Backpay-Good. morning, sir
Will you take chair? Installment
House Collector-No. thank you.
ma'am. I've come to take the piano.
Philadelphia Record.
First Thespian-And the audience,
my boy, you should have seen them.
They were glued to their seats. Sec
ond Ditto-Ah, good way Of keeping
them there.-Bystander
The Coming Guest-I see you charge
FIVE shillings for a room. When 1 was
here in December you only charged
three shillings day. The Landlady
All, but the days are longer now
Sketch.
First Man-How do you do? Sec
end Man-Beg pardon, but you have
the advantage of me. First Man-Yes,
1 suppose 1 have. We were engaged
to the same girl; but you married her.
-Tit-Bits.
Suburban Host Ito unexpected sup
per guest)-Now then, Miss Hobson,
will you have a little Of this rabbit
pie or-er-or docking round and dis
covering there is no other dish)-or
not t?-The Tattler.
"When 1 was coming home last
night" said Miss Skeery, II saw a man
skulking along in the shadow. Oh,
how 1 ran!' "An' couldn't you catch
him:" inquired her little brother, In
nocently.-Cleveland Leader.
The Eldest Hope-Who's that, maj
His Fond Mama-'Ush, Grace, that's
the gentleman that married me. The
Eldest Hope-Then, if that's the gen
tleman wot married you, wot's pa do
ing in our use?-The Sketch.
Visitor Ito artists young wife)-
Whatever were you two laughing over
so just now? Wife-Oh, it was such
funi My husband painted and cook
ed, and then we both guessed what the
things were meant for.-Tatler.
A man who was charged at the Will
esden police court with intoxica-
tion and using bad language pleaded
guilty to the first part of the charge,
adding: "As to the language, I know
nothing about that because I'm deaf"
London Express.
'sThat young student upstairs must
have a tremendous correspondence,
postman; you always have letters for
him." "Yes; 1 quarreled with him
once, and ever since he sends himself
a post card every day, SO l have to
mount five flights Of stairs to deliver
it."-Tit-Bits.
Miss Withers-You are blushing,
Coya! What was that clumsy partner
of yours saying? Miss Knisely-Oh,
nothing; only that before he met me
life seemed desert TO him. Miss
Withers-That is no reason why he
should waltz like a dromedary, is it?
Town and Country.
They had been married just seven
months and nineteen days by the
almanac. Tomorrow" she announced,
will be my birthday. What are you
going to get for me, George?" Il
haven't the least idea, my DEAR" re-
piled her husband. II read in last
nights paper about Kansas man who
got second hand overcoat and 50 for
his wife, but I'll probably not be SO
lucky" Chicago Daily News.
Don't take 1t so hard, Mr.. Play
man." said the young woman, mock
ingly. There are other girls, you
know. There's Lii Grumplins, Sallie
Plimborn, Kate Isnoggles and Fan
Biliwink. Any one of them would
make a better wife for you than
would" 81 know it, he said, swallow
ing a lump in his throat and turning
to 20. IF any one Of those four girls