Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1907-01-31
Good Old Time. rex.s.

north part of town is evidence of the
wonld-be wild and woolly fellows he
irg in existence. in spite of the civil
lied state reached by the average PEG
! pie of the country At least three
ri:ss.sts of this week unknown parties
lavc galloped through the streets Of
| North Grange firing their guns :,,
! random. Occasionally officers are sue
cessful in hunting down these cattle
| guilty of handling Il gun in the above
lnnnnci'. ard when once apprehenGed
the right punishment is generally ad.
| ministered.-C range Tribune.
! Common Variety.
And big guns around here?" asked
Tic Stranger who was taking Up sub!
sa:iptionS for Il magazine.
NO. nc:gMlor.'' replied the rost
master OF Bacon Ridge, but we lave
plenty Of Old guns
old g,n:'?"
Yes. yon will frd them lsehind Tie
;tnve talking politics. They are OIL!
Of date. rusty. and always kickirg.''-
Fi.i."dclrhia Hulletin.
Another I.oss Out.
..;at there is 81 startling difference
hctNeen the temper of the RISING gen
GRAFTON ard that of tine yoE;h whosf
yoilg .Geas 81 CT mp according to tbs
teachings of Mrs. Hannah More arc
Sanford :.nl Merton las recently bee,
proved by Il little 7-ycar-oll girl who
was laboriously spelling ler Way
through !; reading lesson.
always speak The TRUTH" she sai;!
and Obey your parents.
BE gentle and quiet Newer SLAM
the door and shout and scream a-bOu.
tho house.
AT the table eat slowly. not in {
greedy manner like Il pig.
Suddenly the little girl shut the book
wi1A a For.cntous bang ard announced
with tiimMess and decision:
I'm rot going to let any old 'rhisG
Reader boss ne like that''-Rocllestc,
licrall.
l'rixcilia's Revenge.
II IVES in the days of Old whel
knights We're bold and dressed il
cleaning amor.
George, dear.' said Priscilla, owe,
der daily task, wilt thou not help ne
with my skens:"
"lsy the tower of London-no!'
roarctl George. as he sharpened his
lance "You haven't IL spinning
wheel for Il hlsband.''
Two hours later George returned
from the fray with his armor battered
and torn
dearest Priscilla he said softly
wilt thou not put few patches OF
MY dress suit:"
NO, George" replied Priscilla
swcctly. You haven't blacksmith
for a wife,
And the bold knight was so humili.
ated he went over to Ye Frozen Heart
tavern and stood the tavcrnkeeper Of
for Il tanlsard.
Nothing Doing.
DO YOU allow children in your fat?'
she asked of the janitor.
I'VE do, ma'am."
small children that like to play or
the stairs?'
"Ycs, ma'am. Most of all our ten
ants have Children
May bring my little dog in the
flat if | want to-"
NO objections whatever. ma'am.'
May I play the piano after i:
o'clock?'
AS late as YOU please, ma'am."
Goo. onions:"
Certainly"
II don't want it. l don't like thai
kind of place. Sen
tinel.
Trusts In Old England.
Trusts We're sometimes dealt will
summary in old England. For in
stance, the records of the Brewers
company show that ION Monday, July
20. 1929, Robert Chichele, the mayor
of London, sent for the masters ani
twelve of the most worthy of our com
pany to appear at the Guildhall fol
selling dear ale. After much dispute
about the price and quantity of malt
wherein Whitnytone, the late mayor
declared that the brewers had ridden
into the country and forestalled the
malt, to raise it's price. they were con
victed i'm the penalty of ego C$1OW
which Directing to. the malsters were
ordered to be kept in prison in tho
chamberain's custody until the.
should pay it,.
A Testimonial.
There is Il clever and gallant youns
fellow attached to the British embas
81 at Washington, who since his ad.
vent into the officials set has achieved
quite a reputation for wit.
One afternoon the clever attacht
was receiving the finishing touches al
the hands of a pretty manicurist on
Connecticut avenue. when. with limpid
eyes. she looked at him and said:
I'VE are SO grateful for any testi
monials from our patrons. DO YOU
nnd."
Con the contrary, should be de
lighted responded the Briton. Then
taking card. he wrote thereon the
following and handed it to her:
There's divinity that shapes om
ends. New York Times.
Great Card.
There was II mighty crash and the
great touring car of the leading lady
coilded with the humble milk cart.
Amid the shower of white liquid the
press agent jumped out on the side
walk and began to write seri-
ously.
ut is too bad" sobbed the leading
lady, as she gazed ruefully on the ruin
of her tlousand-dollar gown.
"Cheer I'm madam - sold tho moss