Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-09-18

~ yOuI uusUdHQ mas gwen up
smoking. That wants pretty strong
will. She-Well, I've got one.-Punch.
Daughter-She seems to have got
over the death of her first husband.
Father-Yes. but her second husband
hasn't.-Pick-Me-Up
Mrs. Smalltown-Would you accept
place in the suburbs? Cook-I'l con-
slider it If yez have room in your garage
for me motor.-Town Topics.
What did you think Of that girl at
her coming-out parHw "well, to DO
perfectly frank, thought she'd better
go back !"-Leslies Weekly.
Mother-But what do you expect to
do later, my son, if you never learn to
write? Son-Oh, that will be all right.
III buy Observation-Disclosures.
May call you Mabel7" he asked
at their second meeting, pretending to
be badly smitten. IF you wish to; but
my name is Gertrude. Chicago Rec
ord-Herald
Candidate for Crew-Could you tell
me where the rhetoric class Is being
held? Candidate for Football don't
know; I'm student here myself
Town Topics
Employer-Thls makes the fourth
grandmother of yours that has died
this spring. Office Boy know It:
amt these family troubles fierce -
Cornell Widow.
Snooks-To what do you attribute
your success as tradesman2 Sellem
If customer doesn't see what he
wants, make him want what he sees
Illustrated Bits
whats become of your umbrella r
II loaned 1t to Tompkins." why
doesn't he return lt?" 1.-THE owner
caught him with 1t and demanded 1t"
Milwaukee Sentinel.
Father, do all angels have wingsr
mo, my son, your mother has none"
And then she said, sweetly, that no
might go to the club II he wouldn't stay
late Atlanta Constitution.
Teacher-How long had Washington
been dead when Roosevelt was inaugu-
rated? Scholar-I dunno, but it hasn't
been very dead since Teddy has been
there !-Lippincott's Magazine.
"Do you think cabbage is unwhole-
some?" asked the dyspeptic. ut de-
ponds somewhat" answered the food
expert, ION whether you eat 1t or try
to smoke it."-Washington Star.
"Mrs. Rogers is perfect slave to
her husband" what does she dot"
would you believe it? Every year. ON
his birthday, she gets up in time to eat
breakfast with him."-Leslie's Weekly.
Teacher-You have named all domes-
tic animals save one. 1t has bristly
hair, 1T is grimy, likes dirt, and is fond
Of mud. Well, Tom? Tom (shame-
facedlyl That's me.-Chicago Trlb-
une.
Mabel Jagged slx)-Aln't You afraid
of our big dog7 The Parson Every thin)
No. my dear. He would not make
much Of meal OF me. Mabel-Oh,
but he likes bones best.-Chicago Daily
News,
IA tramp fell into the water tank Of
locomotive and rode twenty-seven
miles without being discovered. "Was
he unconscious when found?" mo
Uprecognizable." Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Dolly-Molly wolcott told me a
month ago that her new gown was
going to be dream. Polly-Well, that
is all 1t is, so far. Her husband won't
give her the money for it.-Somervills
Journal.
"And do you have to be called in
the morning?" asked the lady who was
about to engage new girl. II don't
has to be, num-" replied the applicant.
sunless you happens to need me-
Yonkers Statesman.
"Your sentence Is to be suspended"
began the merclful court. "Great
Scott, ledger exclaimed the prisoner.
aef I'd knowed chicken stealing was a
hanging offense wouldn't have stole"
Philadelphia Ledger.
(which do you prefer" said the ar
tistic young woman, music or poetry7"
"Poetry," answered Miss Cayenne. "You
can keep poetry shut up in a book.
You don't have to listen to it unless
you Observation-Disclosures Star.
excuse me, sir" remarked the
weary wayfarer, 'but don't know
where my next meal is coming from"
..Neither do l." replied the prosperous
looking individual. "My cook left this
morning, too."1Philadelphia Record.
"Oh, madam" said the French maid.
"Fldo weel not eat re bon-bons." 1.-THE
dear, intelligent little doggle!" exclaim-
ed Mrs. Rich. There must be some.
thing wrong with those bonbons, Cloe.
Give them to the children" New York
Evening Mail.
Politics in Domestic Life.
A story is told of a Bradford County