Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-07-27

She Cooking away on How clear
the horizon Isl He-Yes; lust swept
1t with my Boston Transcript.
Promise me that you'n never marry
again when I'm dead" "Of that, my
soul you may be perfectly sure
! kurger.
Say, Dick, what is the new fad they
call phonetic spelling?" "It's the kind.
Jim, they used to fog you and at
school for using Baltimore Ameri-
/ can.
What did old Gruff say when Won
told him you would like him to find
you an opening in his oSsee?" He
showed me the door" 49, Baltimore
| American.
Patient-When you're i'll. doctor. do
you treat yourself? NO, call In one
of my colleagues" Then can't | call
in one of them-the one that cured
youY'-Kurger.
Tommy-Pa, what is the Isthmus Of
Panama? Pa-The Isthmus of Pan
anna, Tommy, is a narrow strip of land
connecting Central America and the
United States Treasury. RAMS Horn.
Mrs. Highbridge- you find II
more economical to do your own cook
ing? Mrs. BIrnham- Much more.
find my husband does not eat half 50
much as when we had cook.-Scraps
Timkins-I hate that fellow Plant
EN-. He is always talking shop Slmp-
kins --Plantem, the undertaken? Timp-
liins-Yes. Every time | meet him he
asks after my health.-Detroit Trib-
une.
Johns done right we'll up in the
city, after ALL" DO tell" Yes; I've
tes' hearn that he's recovered from one
appendicitis, two ortermohiles, one
heart failure an three business ones"
Atlanta Constitution.
How much postage will this re-
Quire2' asked the young author. ut
is enc of my manuscripts" 1.-TWO
cents on ounce" answered the post
office clerk. That's frst-class mat
ter" "Oh, thank you Judge.
Laundryman-I regret to tell you,
sir, that one OF your shirts is lost Gus
tomer--B But, here, have just paid yol
i2 cents for doing II up. Laundryman
Quite right, sir we Numbered 1t be-
fore we lost Harper's Weekly.
Things are not as they used to be-"
said the man of melancholy remin.s-
cences. NO answered Mr.. Dustin
Stax regretfully. The times was when
great wealth would get man out Of
trouble. Now it gets him Into it,
Washington Star.
This is a queer world" sighed Mr..
Splurgit. while / was wondering
pay the rent this month, happened In
the kitchen and heard the washerwom-
an say she'd just paid down $1,000 on
new house Detroit Free Press.
Doctor What2 Troubled with sleep
lessness? Eat something before going
to bed Patient--Why. doctor, you once
told me never 10 eat anything before
going to ted. with dignity Pooh,
pooh That was last January. Science
has made enormous strides since then.
En-
You'd make pretty good clerk"
said the employer, sarcastically, III
you only had little more common
sense Indeed" replied the clerk
But did It ever occur to you that If
had little more common sense
wouldn't be a clerk at all?"-Loudon
Tit Bits
Housekeeper--I hear your brother,
who died In California. left you 81 600,
Dinah That win be a grent help to
you. Washlady--Deedy IL will, missls
Ans been needin' pianner an n pho
nograft an oil paintln' OBJ mahsalf in
a gilt frame 70 yeahs, an now, bress
de good Lord. All kin hab 'em Puck
Lawyer examining witness) DO
you know the man who formerly owned
This gunf Witness-Ye sir. Lawyer
lis he in the courtroom? Witness
No, sir. Lawyer Where Ia heY wit. |
ness Il don't know Lawyer When
and where did you see him lastf Wit |
ncss-Sx months ago-at his funeral |
Chicago News.
We'll" said he, anxious to patch mp !
their quarrel Of yesterday, aren't you
curious to know what's in this pack ,
agcT' Not very" replied the still
Delligerent wife. indifferentIy. "Well,
It's something for the one love best
In all the world" "Ahi suppose it's
those suspenders you said you needed"
The Catholic Standard aud Times
The big touring car had just whizzed
~ with IA roar like a gigantic rocket
and Pat and Nike turned 10 watch It
disappear Ia a cloud OF dust Thin
hug wagons must cost hape nv
ASH said Mike. THE rich Is fairly
,urnin' money" An be the smell nv
I" shifted Pat, at must be thot faint
u money we do be hearin' 50 much
boot. Success Magazine.