davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13
AYHAWKER JOTS

The Hiawatha World also defends the
downtrodden dandelion.
kfngman expects to keep cool this
summer. At least it will have a new
ice plant.
Fort Scott has started a historical So
clety. Some other towns have hysteri-
cal societies.
mas reached the police court twice al
ready this spring
Henry Calnan suggests that H. H.
tucker might smooth his troubles by
pouring on some Uncle Sam oil.
H. A. Fuller has started the Citizen
at Emmett. one of the new towns on the
Union Pacific cutoff between Topeka
and Onaga. It's a bright little sheet
and bids fair to be a good Citizen
The last beaver on the Smoky Hill
was captured by a farmer living near
Junction City, the other day This
beaver has lived in that section for
several years and had succeeded in
keeping free from all traps until then.
If there is a farmers wife that in one
week made more money from her poul-
try than did a woman living near Solo
mon, she must be getting rich. One Sat
urday she brought to town SIT worth of
eggs that had all been laid in seven
days by the hens on one farm. She got
10 cents per dozen for the eggs, so that
she must have had nearly 500 dozen.
This is at the rate of 20 dozen per day,
and seems like big story, but it is
said to be a true one As..s:f.
Trouble at Troy, told by, the Chief:
Jeff Clayton had bad luck with one of
his incubator Sunday night. He had
set 1t with 200 eggs about ten days be-
fore, but the machine did not seem to
work right SO Jeff put it in the front
room of his house where a more even
temperature could be kept. The blamed
thing seemed to be waiting for some
such an opportunity as this to get in It's
work just right and Sunday night at
the devotional hour. Mrs. Incubator ex-
ploded with report which might have
been heard by all the neighbors. Two
hundred eggs went up as high as the
ceiling, spread over every inch of avail
able space and then came down. The
wreck was most complete and disas-
ferrous and two hundred lives were lost
as we'll as a part of the machine.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13
GLOBE SIGHTS.
[From the Atchison Globe

LFrom the Atchison Globe.1
1t is every housekeeper's complaint
that so many things have to be done
first
Is there a little boy in town who
will say thank you" without being
told?
If a mans wife approves of what
he does, what use does he have for a
conscience?
AS a rule, it is easier to help a man,
and make him a friend. than it is to
injure him, and make him an enemy.
One of the worst features about alb
normal weather, not mentioned in the
crop reports, is that it produces so
many liars.
When a woman shows a tendency
to wear gayer clothes with age, no
need to argue with her; she can't be
coaxed out of the notion.
We have noticed that the people
who talk a great deal about a ''se-
cret SORROW are pretty apt to give the
secret away, if encouraged.
The most capable critic Atchison
ever had is now in the poor house; he
could tell how things should be done,
but couldn't do them himself.
We imagine that when a woman's
bers point out one woman and say:
you are president" To another,
and say, You're treasurer" etc.
How a woman of.po1fte and agree
dDle manners Is ADMIRED! ana what
a power she is in-the world! The
same thing is true of a man, who is
genteel, intelligent and polite. The
gentlemen control the world. Be a
gentleman.
What has become of the old fash
Toned woman who referred to trif1ing
men as "doless ~
What has become of the old fash
toned man who was great jumper,
and who held a stone in each hand
when jumping.
In homes where there are no men,
what do the women do when they
want to borrow a pencil? Women can
keep up the furnace. carry in water.
and get along all right without men
around in every other particular. but
is there any substitute for man when
it comes to borrowing a pencil?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13
a sEAsoNARLE LYRIC.

Hit the rug another whack-
Finest sort of exercise,
Great for Strengthening your back
See the clouds of dust arisei
Getting in your mouth and eyes,
Face and hands and linen black?
Nonsense! Stop those weary signs
Hit the rug another whack.
Hit the rug another whack!
Better than your doctors drugs
Put more vim in your attack;
DiSpOssesses the moths and bugs.
While the busy housemaid Jugs
More adown the garden track,
Aren't you glad you've lots of rugs?
Hit the rug another whack.
Hit the rug another whacki
Surely you don't need to rest?
Seems to me you're getting slack,
Now go at it with a Zest!
That's developing your chest
Pretty soon you'll get the knack-
Really, YOU seem quite distressed
Hit the rug another whack.
Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13
WEEDS NORTH MONEY.

Almost constantly new discoveries
are made to help the American farmer
and, incidentally, other people as well.
Recently the bureau of plant industry
of the United States department of ag-
riculture has been giving it's attention
to the weed" writes E. B. Clark in the
Technical World Magazine for May.
To-day it is telling the farmer that
that which he has been looking upon
as pest has it's uses and that 1t may
profit him to consider the weeds. 1t
is not a matter of common knowledge
that some of the weeds infesting' the
land will produce the crude drugs which
today, in large part, are obtained by i'm
portation from abroad. Alice Henkel,
an assistant of the governments plant
industry bureau. says that the roots,
leaves and flowers of several of the
weed species regarded as plaques in
the United tSates are gathered, pre-
pared and cured in Europe. and not
only for useful commodities there, but
supply to a considerable extent the de-
mands of foreign lands.
There are weeds in this country
against which determination laws have
been passed which hold in their leaves
STEMS roots medicinal properties
which have a value in the work of
preserving the health of the nation. 1t
is possible in Kidding land of weeds in
order that crops may be grown, to
make of the uprooted pests a source
of income. Moreover it is possible to
maintain upon land given over as
worthless for crop growing purposes,
weed plantation, which after the har-
vest, will prove itself to be not less
profitable than some of the titled
fields"
OF course, ii has long been known
that the despised dandelion that in
tests Topeka's lawns has medicinal
properties, but a profitable market for
the weed has never been forthcoming
That market may yet be made, how
ever, and the dandelion crop may be-
come a valuable one
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Local from the Madrid Weekly
Herald: Our townsman, Alfonso
De Asis, is walking chesty this
week. and all because of the arrival
of boy at his house. The boy and
his mother are getting along first rate.
Mr.. and Mrs. Asis will be remembered
by the swell wedding they had last
year Before her marriage Mrs.
Asis was one of the bellies of Batten-
burg. ALT thinks the boy is the whole
show, and he intends to teach him the
king trade. Eth, there's Atty?
= y -
Naturally a farmer needs to use
horse sense. @s4a
A Yale professor says a woman in
vented the kiss. We know a lot of
Fellows who are glad she didn't
patent it.
There is this about it: If the wealth
er man uses up so much of his cold
weather now he won't have such a big
supply to turn loose on US next winter
Might as well look on the bright
side.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13
Passing the English Customs.

There is no country where the mat
ter of landing from American paSsen-
ger ships is so easy and so expeditions
ly done as England, says the Travel
Magazine. OF course, it is a free trade
country-the freest in the whole world.
There are duties levied on Tobacco
and spirits. but travellers are allowed
a half pint of spirits, which also
means the same as perfume. Sugar is
dutiable, whether in grain, sweets, or
in jam, but a small quantity is freely
passed. In all cases, however, these
goods must be the actual property of
the passenger, and be for his use, and
control. Cocoa, coffee and tea are also
dutiable, as are reprints of English
books. Outside of these things, as
named, passengers can bring in any
thing, motors, cycles, horses, but not
dogs, for which animal a not to ex-
coed six months quarantine awaits.
Keep dogs on American side. The GUS
tom officials are life appointees-un-
der the civil service-and will be found
most obliging and helpful. In fact,
they are model to the customs world.
Tell the truth at all times to these Of
hctals and you will be all right. They
are marvellously keen on spotting the
supposedly smart liar. Lying doesn't
pay annyhow, Hinnessy!'-at home or
abroad.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13

sdo it right" went to Delmonico's for
dinner. After studying the menu with
growing despair, he turned to a pa
tient waiter With "Just bring me
forty-fiye dollars worth of ham and
eggs!" Some of our fellow-country-
men give similar performances in
Paris. 1 have known them to go to
famous restaurants and order plain
broiled chicken, or steak and fried
potatoes-dishes so elemental that
the greatest chef could hardly
cook them better than Maggie,
in the fiat at home, could do
1T. A Partisan chef, broiling a chicken
makes a pathetic figure. The asking
him to do so is like requesting a
learned professor of higher mathe-
mates to add a laundry bill.-The
Travel Magazine.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

CFrom the Chicago News.1
Even the pawnshop has its redeeming
features.
In lazy man the bump of hope is
abnormally developed
Ghosts probably walk at night in or
der to keep in the shade.
Lots of men seem to think the wrong
side of a saloon is the outside.
Before giving advice a wise man pre-
pares to dodge the consequences.
We wouldn't give a wooden nickel for
all man knows who thinks he knows IT
all.
There's nothing like a good reputation
If you have the backbone to live UP to
1t.
1t takes a strong-minded man to refer
to a young widow as a peach" In the
presence of his wife
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13
The Dogs Disposition.

Charming Eleanor Robson, who has
made a genuinely artistic success in
'Salomy ane," tells the following:
Jealous Irishman / nthe employ
of the Health department, was sent
uptown the other day to remove the
body of dead animal from the street
There's a dead dog on Ninth ave-
nue. he was instructed. go and see
to it's disposition at once
Tis SORT" said the subordinate
who Immediately set out upon his mis-
sion. In half an hour the Irishman
telephoned his chief as follows: st
have made inquiries about the dogs
disposition, and 1 find that it was a
savage one. "-Young's Magazine.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.

[F'rom the Philadelphia Record.l
Even when he is sick the blind man
feels out of sight.
Every girl needs small brother 10
take the conceit out of her.
Art holds the mirror up to nature.
but some artists hold their friends IN
Marriages may be made in Heaven
but very often there's the devil to paw.
The still. small voice of conscience
seems to have a habit of getting stiIler
and smaller.
The fellow who is never on time is
the one who is always complaining
about his hard luck.
A dozen measiy wedding presents he
come innumerable gifts when you read
about 1t in the paper.
Blebbs-"Tt never rains in thu da.sr+
of Sahara Slobbs-"Geet Whst
cinch the weather man must have ouf
there 1890 OSs
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13
FROM OTHER PENS
GENERAL KUROKI.

If Gen. Kuroki is not one of the
most impressive exhibits at Jamestown
it will be because the American people
have forgotten the battle, of the Yalu
and his brilliant victories subsequently
as commander of the right wing of
Oyama's army in Manchuria. In Ku-
roki we have as a visitor one of the
ablest of living soldiers. Neverthe-
less his first thought on landing in
America was of the Japanese school
children in San Francisco, for whom
he made a graceful and friendly plea,
suggesting contrast truly Japanese
New York Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13
Give the Chef a Chance.

1t is my belief that the man who
has dined in the best Partisan res
taurants without finding them won
derful, says Julian Street, is either a
dyspeptic, or a self-reliant ignoramus,
who did not give the chef a chance.
You know the story of the western
miner who, having Struck it rich,
arrived In New York and, anxious to
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13

The advance agent OF Senator Bur-
ton gives out a story that Sedalia, Mo,
Is trying to keep Senator Burton from
lecturing there. If this is true, it
must be that Sedalia is trying to help
Burton get crowd. This sort of adj
yertising will do tiff it hasn't been
0verworked by THE Clansman."
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13
GETTING BACK Ar HER.

Oh we praised you,
Gentle May.
Joyful timed you,
Bravely rhymed you
Said all poets have to says
Sang your beauty
AS sweet duty,
Hailed you beauteous,. =
Blooming May;
Odes we flung you.
Merry May!
Named you maiden
With blooms laden,
Sky blue eyes and golden hair,
Lovely proved you
Cried we loved you,
For no other month did care,
That no other
Was as fair.
oh, you fooled US,
Rainy May!
SulkS assuming,
You brought glooming,
At our praise your lip did curl;
Circus fading
No parading.
Wet. crowds in an angry whirI7
Like a girl7
Baltimore American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13

The Troy Chief ought to be deposed
for this: Miss Emma Wise and Henry
Kiser were married at Lawrence the 9TH
er day. After the ceremony the bride
was still Wise enough to let Henry
TyfSor
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13

Notwithstanding all the fuss we
make about the weather, Colonel Jen-
nings did the handsome thing in giving
US the fine brand he did for the use of
the old soldiers and the travelling men
last week
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13

Perhaps we have no complaint to
make after all. 1t has been showing
for "a days in southern Wyoming and
snow is seven feet deep on a level.
That is what that country wants, how
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13

The temperature dropped 80 de-
grees in New England Saturday, but
the thirty-third degree crowd was in
Los Angeles. where the Shriners have
been holding their annual conclave
and diminishing the visible supply of
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13

Even now the Western Union and
Pullman companies do not intend to
obey the Kansas law if they can get
out of it, although the supreme court
says they must do So 1t is conduct of
this kind that get people down on
eornorafions
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13
HUNOR OF THE Day

HVl4OR OF THE Day
Uncle silas-what would I be willin' ter
Well. I'd be wiilin' ter tackle a preserved
an pre-split wood-piie. Judge.
We hold this truth to be self-evident.
that all men are created equal, but in or.
eSr 70 leaFe no possible room lot LOT o1uD ~
formal affairs.-Puck.
Il got de faith of joshua exclaimed
the coIored brother.
Yes" replied an old deacon. but dc
make a reduction in de gas bill."-Atlanta
Constitution.
20, Mr.. wappleson." said Mrs. Odcastle.
has a heart. of gold
So? knew he got hurt in the army
he ha :, to have a silver plate in his Jaw.
Chicago Record Herald.
Magazine Editor-Your sonnet has liter
airy merit, but can't use 1t because it does
not conform to the established rules of
Ambitious Young contributor-That is its
chief merit, sir. II esta blishes new form
for the sonnet Chicago Tribune
Ibid your cook leave you without any
warning. Mrs SMITH"
Yes, and without any spoons. too
Baltimore American.
Custimer-You''ve given me morphine in
Druggist-Is 1t possible? In that case you
owe me % cents more."-Petit Parisien.
Mrs. Money Bags--I hear you have spent
a great deal of your time in Italy?
Mrs, Parvenue-Oh, yes, my dear; we're
quite Observation-Disclosures Tiger.
i, Lady 60 dinner partner trying to kiss
your fime 9 am married! you are Wasting
Partner-I don't care. I'm not bit jeal-
Observation-Disclosures
Impecune-Hello, old man; you don't
know anyone who would lend me a dollar
Gotrox-Weli, no: all the people know,
know you too-Le Figaro
You point with pride to the fact that
yor were meyer investigated,
Certainly answered Senator Sorghum.
Washington Star.
1.-The evidence shows, Mrs MuIcohe--. that
you throw stone at Policeman Sassy"
1T shows more than that Yer Honor, it
shows tina: Oh hit him. Minneapolis
Tribune.
I Teacher Who was it supported the world
upon his shoulders? 80
TOmmy-AtlaS, sir.
Tea; Teaeher- y, supported Atlas?
his wife did.-Ally Sloper.
You are past forty. inspector; why do
why, you See do not want to marry
an old woman, a young girl would be
fool to marry me, and do not like fools
Tales.
Mrs. Subbubs-Oh. John, I'm sorry the
new cook has spoilt your coffee, but she's
so young and inexperienced. So you must
be satisfied with kiss instead this even
John-Right. oh, Gale her in.-Pick-Me-
Up
Guest (after he has ordered a bottle Of
train leave for Bimme,hausen?
Waiter-In half an hour.
Guest (after he has tasted the wine)-
HIM. Excellent This is good wine.
Bimmelhauser ?-Flegende Batter
scribbIer-My new novel is entitled
What told My Wife"
Ruyter-Why don't you call 1t What
Didn't Tell My Wife?
Scribbler-Publishers limited me to one
Eagle.
Little boy said the good woman, do
you alwals thll the truth?''
Don't you know it's very. very noghty
to lIe?"
Then why do you do it?
IT don't Sometimes I'm too busy to
talk. ''-Philadelphia Ledger.
You shouldn't have hit that man who
called you liar"
Shouldn't, hey?"
No you should have demanded the
proof. and If he could not produce it he
would have been branded the falsher."
ne had the proof."-Philadelphia Ledger
--~----------
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13

An alleged expert says there are 81
kinds of trouble to which an automo-
bilist is subject. 1t must be that he
missed a few hundred in taking the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13

Harry Thaw is said to have $4,000
coming his way from his fathers es-
tate. Is this before or after paying
Mr. Delmas for inventing Dementia
Americana?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13

The Congregationalists. the United
Brethren. and the Methodist Protes-
tants are thinking of combining, but
there will no disposition to call this
combine a trust
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13

1t is only five weeks until the longest
day of the year will be here, but there
is still time for Old Sol to heat the
furnace before that time.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13

Abe HummeI has been sentenced to
another year in the New York state
prison. 1t is hardly likely that he will
be a witness in the Thaw case next
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13

a7 The supreme court has decided tina
the swallowing of a pin is an acct
dent 1t really does not seem that on'
would do 1t Intentionally.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13

There were no big strikes in the east
on the first of May. but San Francisco
has sufficient supply to furnish few
to any city feeling the need of them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13

People are expecting all sorts O
trouble to break loose at Boise. ant
for that reason Boise may fool them
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13

A few weeks ago we. read chief!
about brainsterrns- in New York. Nov
we are beginning to read about wine
storms in Texas.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13

we are anxious for the green t.
get back in the trees, but this doesn'
apply to the green bug Is s
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13

The Thaw family home has beef
mortgaged for 100000. The unwrit
ten law comes high.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13

This is the day on which the much
advertised and much-denied Corey
Gilman wedding takes place. 1t Is
also the 18th of May.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13
RAISING THE AVERAGE.

It must be taken into consideration,
too, that, as the successor of Mr.. Pen
rose, Mr.. Frick would materially
raise the average wealth of the SEN
ate.-Ind!anapolis News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13

In situations like that now existing
In San Francisco compulsory aroltra
ton would be blessing.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13

Reports from San Francisco in
dictate that strikes of 1907 models are
no Improvement over the old-fash-
toned kind we have had in former
wars -f-fa sfss
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13

w. T. stead. the peace advocate. is
said to be a good mixer. But most
people prefer to take their peace
straight .-s--~--.---
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13

It looks as though summer would
beat spring here, after all.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13
STEAD'S CONDUCT.

w. T. Stead declares that "surfac
courtesy is not true. chivalry." Henc
his careful avoidance of surface cour
tesy Chicago Evening Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

Closed saloons make prosperous
Krocery stores.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13

Even the fact that Honore Jaxon
spells his name in the sinplified- style
doesn't create a bond of sympathy be-
tween him and Mr. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Springs Gazette
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13

What San Francisco needs is tn
brand of arbitration that Chicago sue
ceeded in getting some weeks ago.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13
London I7,eaters Charrn.

One of the delicious treats London
offers Americans is the acting and ac-
cessorieS in her theaters. The or
chestra stalls or balcony stalls Cloth
are "swell') are very sumptuous and
very roomy, and are evidently created
on purpose to appeal to hearty diners.
The usher is a very tidy young wo-
man, in black dress and coQuettish
cap and apron, possessed of a sweet
face and a still sweeter voice. You
pay her six-pence for each pro-
gramme. The stage settings are per-
feet in detail. Best of all is the elocu-
ton of the players. From the rising
of the curtain even unto the going
down of the same. each and every
word uttered is as clear and tuneful
as the tin<le of a silver bell. You
don't have to wait till the middle of
the first act before you can even
guess what the plot is about. Under
these unusual circumstances the in
terest one takes in a play is greatly
enhanced, and he wonders why an
American company is not as we'll
drilled.--The Travel Magazine.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13
MOULD CUT SOME ICE.

Iceland would like a flag of her owl
and is even talking about independ
ence. What would Iceland do as al
independent nation?-Buffalo Express
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13
QUALIFIED FOR THE JOE.

With Mr.. Carnegie combining the
character of American citizen, Scotch
laird and chevalier of the French Leg
ion of Honor it is small wonder that he
feels cosmopolitan enough to undertake
the role of making peace for the world.
--Pfttsburg Dispatch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-13
WILLING TO WAIT.

When we nominate a southern man
for the presidency we want it done
with chance of electing him.-Bir-
mingham Ledger.