Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1907-11-02
BY L. L. DENNE.

We'll, sir" said Mr.. Dooley, II see
be tn pa-apers that a great disgrace
has fallen on this nation. see be tn
pa-apers ivry day that great dis
grace has fallen on tn nation, but
this is tn worst yet"
Good hivens, what is it," asked
MIR. Hennessy.
81 hate to tell ye," said Mr.. boo
ley. 'Tis too disgraceful. Whisper.
TIL prisidint Nv tn United States has
been beat at lawn tennis. Worse thin
that, he was beat be bishop Worse
even thin that, he was beat be q her
,tick bishop.
There 1t Is in tn pa-apers in
black an white. Tiddy Rosenfelt was
in his back yard waitin' f'r some wan
TO come an perish befure his uncon-
Cuered racket. He had laid low tn
entire administration. Sicret'y Root
was leanin' over fence. Sicret'y
raft was settin' on tn ground fannin'
himsilf with his bat. Tn rest of tn
cabinet had pleaded sudden Illness or
povermint business an fled. Tn SUI
rreem coort had said that as there
vas no chanel f'r a game ~ mixed
doubles they wud pick up their over
skirts an go home an study tn weak
ROts Nv tn constitution TIL ambas-
sadures had tillygrafted to their gov
ermints askin' to be transferred to
Morocco or some place where they
cud live in comparative quiet.
1T begun to look as II Tiddy Ros-
cnfelt was not goin' to be able to get
up Il good Precipitation an might have
20 put in tn AFTERNOON dom little
light exercise like tossin' tn millyon-
Gire with Sicret'y Garfield, whin Sic
Iret'y Lobe poked his head through a
hole In tn fence an called out: Tn
bishop ~ London is here with ten
mis- bat an says he prayerfully thinks
he cud knock ye'er eXcellency's head
of II we give him a chanel Bring
him in, says Teddy, with light
laugh. i have gr-reat respect f'r
tn clergy, an I'll ony beat him
enough to show MIN that he's in a
country now where tn state Is SUI
peeryor to tn church., he says. He
iXpicted to see a stout man with
rink face an side whiskers, wearin
knee breeches an an apron, but, in
stead Nv that, a tall, nimble athlete
jumped over tn fence, flung his cas-
sock an beretta in corner ~ tn
yard, handed his crozier to Sicret'y
Lobe, an cried: Come on. an tn
divvle take-l name Hiven defind tn
right.
We'll, | cant give ye all tn de-
tails Nv tn bloodthirsty encounter, as
" read thin in tn pa-aper. I'm not
up on lawn tennis. There hasn't
been a tennis coort used in Archey
Road since | don't know whin. We
Lave thin, Nv coorse, but no wan uses
thin. They're always full iv tn
weeks washin', or somebody is beat
in carpets in thin, or tn COW Is ly-
in down in thin. In this part iv tn
wurruld lawn tennis wudden't be rec
reatiOn for us afther tn labors ~ tn
week. Afther jugglin' steel Orders
t'r six days man needs hard days
rest, an he gets II he runnin' two
mile races, playin futball f'r four
hours at time or hoistin' eighths "
beer with wan hand. But lawn ten
his must be a grand tough sport or
Tiddy Rosenfelt wudden't like II.
an goin' to advise tn young hammer
tossers an shot putters in this sport
in neighborhood to whitewash their
Cveralls an take II up. II must be
GOOD healthy exercise whin a mans
thurly tired out, an II ye'er oppon-
ent's game don't suit ye, tn net is
niver so high that ye cant jump over
| it. Tn way it's played Is that wan
man in white flannel pants knocks
, hall at another man in white flannel
PANTS, an tn other man (or LADY,
! knocks II back an Clarence sinds II
over an Percy returns II to him, an
! so on TIL tbs time FIR dish " tea.
that's all | know about 1t, but IL
l''''i'N 'N'l'lhbs amy HoN, III INV
mere test " brute stren'th, manly
courage an mental cunning, tn pa
Gpers say Tiddy Rosenfelt was no
match rr tn bishop. His grace give
MIN his blessing an half-ffteen.
"hatiyer that is, an bate him till he
was black an blue, accordin' to tn
Ia -apers.
But | don't believe It, 1t amt
thrue. It's device " tn plutocrat-
&c press to dlscredit our foremost ath-
lete, not barrin' Jeffreys. No man
Will convince me that Thaydore Ro-
scnfelt isn't tn greatest all-round,
give-or-take-ten-pounds, lawn tennis
warryor iv tn wurruld' He cud bate
all tn bishops between here an Con-
Rought an throw in tn college w
cardinals with thims 1t cant be
thrue. Who liver heerd iv d bishop
! layin tennis, anyhow? I'd as lave
lelieve that wan iv thin was seen
goin' down to tn cathedral on a mo-