davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1907-08-17

ATLANTIC CITY. Aug. I7.-Rather
than have his wife blue pencil his drink
orders and otherwise interfere with his
vacation at the seashOre, Charles J.
Phlster, a Philadelphia visitor. was. at
his own request, locked up IN the police
station.
7 want 20 be locked up" PhisteT said,
as he presented himself
"Au right" answered the desk ser
geant, IN his best "we-strive-tO-please"
voice; what for?''
To get away from my wife" the
Philadelphian said. I'm not having a
good time at all down here Ny wife is
interfering with my personal liberty,
and I might as well be In jail She has
given orders at the hotel that I am not
TO be served with drinks. She sticks so
close to me that can't even sneak into
a boardwalk thirst place. She won't let
me out OF her sight I can't play in the
sand. or take a constitutional on the
boardwalk. I am even forbidden 70 ride
The Washington times., 1907-08-17
NeUer Touched by the Strike;
Creased Wires Still Working
This News Came Through O. K, All Right, and
You Can Bet It's the Straight
Goods.

beloved pastor from the neighborlng cir
cult VIII fin the local pulpit next Sun
day
In rapid succession the goat dlscov-
cred and demolished the leading mer-
chant and two show cases, a peanut
parcher standing upon the corner. and
Well-knOWn sp4nsteF whose name Is
Wltnheld from publication. AS the citi-
zens gave chase, the goat became more
rampant until running across an i'm
prOmptu meeting Of the echool trustees
IN pack room at the postOmice, ne
DOWled over every trustee and tossed
the stove over into the bunch for good
measure.
Town Marshal TUttle and a posse as ne
was attempting 20 butt down the gar
den fence or Justice Parker. before
whom Perkins. the instigatOr or all the
trouble. was called for trial. After being
taken 20 the pound. the goat fell into a
drunken stupOr, from which he refused
70 awaken for six hours. thus necessf-
tatng pOstponement OF Perkins trial
until the animal could be brought into
court as an exhibit.
Perkins Plead Guilty.
InasIauch as Perkins plead guilty the
goat was not called 20 the witness
stand. which is well. as Constable Tut
tie had. at the cost OF his lucrative posi-
ton. given notice That he would decline
TO endeavor 70 move the animal about
TO any great extent while IN the court
room Perkins was publicly reprimanded
in the presence OF almost every citizen
OF the town. and al the conclusion OF
Justice Parker's lecture was fined s.
and costs the costs 10 include damages
done 70 the-twO showcases, the minis
ter. merchant and the school trustees
The owner Of the goat promised 70
Iyaa rnT ~-T NJ ~
that as soon as he RECEIVERS from the
drunk and gets n little fatter he VIII
slaughter him and sell the meat 70 the
clearinghouse keepars-
The Washington times., 1907-08-17
NEW $40 NOTES
REACH MICHIGAN
William F. O'Brien Is at
Bay City With a
Supply.

The Bay City (Mich.) Times OF. current
issue announces the presence IN that
city Of William F. O'Brien, a native Of
the town, but who for the past thirteen
years has been one of the skilled en-
pioyes OF the Government Printing
Cffice. In connection with Mr.. O'Brien's
visit TO his former home. the Times
announces that he brought with him
samples Of the latest monetary issues
of $40 gold certificates by the United
States Treasury. the first to reach tha.
neck OF the woods. the new tens being
curiosities even to the banks I'D that
way
Sam DeNedrey. editor Of the Trades
Unionist, says of Mr.. O'Brien that he
must be a source of unalloyed jov to
Bay City. Sometimes his originality IS
almost sensational. Three or four years
ago Mr.. o'Brien, just previous TO his
annual visit home. took 100 $50 bills
fresh and crisp-just of the presses of
the Bureau of Engraving and Printing
to a friend in the Government Printing
OTice bindery. and had him make them
into a compact pad. On his arrival In
Bay City-the story goes-whenever n
came Mr. O'Brien's time to buy. he
would reach In his inside pocket, pull
out the pad of twenties. careIessly tear
one off. toss 1t to the dispenser OF re-
freshments with an air of "oh-there-
are-plenty- more re-that-came-f from -
and continue the conversation without
a pause. This caused comment and
wonder. Mr.. DeNedrey says that he
cannot account for Mr.. O'Brien show
ing up in his old home this year with
ten spots. but the explanation IS he
thinks O'Brien found the Elks' conven-
tion more expensive than he had ex-
pected.
The Washington times., 1907-08-17
Free of EncunlbranceS,"
But Horses Wouldn't Move
Bad Chooser of Equines HaIes a David
t1arum to Criminal Bar, But Judge
Says Go and Sue"

blocks and then came 10 a dead stop.
II took me four hours TO get him back
home. He was wind blown and had
been fixed up before he was sold.
When / complained 10 this man here.
another. after paid him $40 more. He
swore the second horse was all right
but when ! tried him he only got three
blocks away. Then he stopped, too
wind blown like the first. I'm the VIC
tim OF a rank swindle. Judge Just look
at this receipt this man gave me guar
anteeing the horse"
Magistrate Breen took the proffered
paper. on which were scrawled several
lines In lead pencil. and glanced at It.
Why" remarked the court. this says
only that you paid him $40 and that
the horse is free and clear OF all encum-
brances."
The Washington times., 1907-08-17
GIRL THOUGHT LOST
WAS MERELY VISITING

Miss Mamie Robertson, who has been
missing from her home, at 170Gi4 Penn
sylvania avenue northwest, since Non
day morning. returned last night very
much surprised At the stir her absence
had Occasioned-- Miss Robertson states
that she met with some friends and
they insisted upon her going out TO
tneir home at Mt. Pleasant, which she
did.
She Is young and thoughtless 50
didn't know how anxious I would be,
said Mrs. Robertson, her mother. this
morning Il received a special deliv-
cry letter from her as soon as she
found how distressed I was, and soon
after she was in my arms.
The girl stated thaS she had ben III
since she had been away else she would
have let her mother known where she
was before
The Washington times., 1907-08-17

come hardened 70 the experience OF be-
ing denounced by persons who had pur-
chased horses from him, only 10 regret
il afterward.
He did not consider II necessary now
10 say anything. leaving Il 20 his lawyer
10 explain in his behalf that the horse
was all right when sold. and that the
complainant still had Il In his posses
sion.
This seems 70 be a regular David
Harum case. all right" finally decided
the magistrate. but, unfortunately. it's
a case for the civil courts. Dismi ssed!''
The Washington times., 1907-08-17
TWENTY YEARS OLD
AND TWICE MARRIED

HARRISBURG, Pa, Aug. I7.-For the
second time in her lie Edna May Fields.
of this city. aged twenty. found it neces-
sary on Monday TO have her parents
appear in the marriage license office to
give their consent to ner marriage. She
got a license TO marry John Harper
Weaver, of No. 562 Woodbine street.
also a minor, being only twenty years
Old. The bride, who is the daughter OF
Mr.. and Mrs. John W. Fields, was d.
vorced from her husband the same day
she married him. The record of mar
ryinE twice as a minor is unique in the
history OF the Harrisburg office.
The Washington times., 1907-08-17
PLAGUE STRIKES TOWN
AND RESIDENTS LEAVE

RIDGEwAY, Pa, Aug. H;-Fleeing
with their children from plague which
has already claimed seventy-five little
victims. hundreds Of residents OF this
place are leaving until the doctors de-
eide as to the true character of the
malady.
The disease attacks only children. The
svmptorns IN some details resemble
those OF spotted fever, but the disease
does not respond to the treatment given
In such cases Already there had been
four fatalities
OF the 1000 inhabitants 500 have left
tOUn
The Washington times., 1907-08-17
FRAZEE-P0T0MAC LAUNDRY
SOLD TO NEW COMPANY

Charles Jacobsen. proprietor OF the
Arlington BOttling Company: William
Toorinor. and Louis Levy have pur-
chased the controlling interest IN the
Frazee-Potomac Laundry, and have re-
organized with the following officers:
Charles Jacobsen, president; Louis Levy.
vice president: William TObriner. treas
urer, and 2. NJ. Becker secretary
The Frazee-Poton.ac Laundry Com
pany was Incorporated with a capital or
S175.G00. 1t is the intention OF the new
purchasers tC put in additional capital
and introduce the latest modern methods
IN the conduct Of the business
The Washington times., 1907-08-17
Hubby RuSheS to Jail;
Can't Get "SeaShOre Jag"
Asks to Be Locked Up at At
lantiC City Because His Loving Wife
Has BIue-penCiIed All Thirst En-
pOriumS For Him.

in a rolling chair or take a chance IN
the prizes IN the japanese stores.
I came down here 10 have fun. Ny
wife has made il slower for me than I
ever found II IN Philadelphia"
Mrs Phister arrived at the police sta
ton a few short jumps behind her hus-
band. and heard his complaint.
I'm only keeping a watch on him 10
prevent his accommodating a searshore
jag" Mrs. Phister said; they're favor
ties with him"
7 can lock you up or a charge Of
intoxication, II you wish" the desk ser
geant told Phister-
Now. sarge. Just look at my wife.
and tell me II look like an intoxicated
man. Phister said. a pained look
spreading over his face; but make II
out"
Phister was led back TO a cell. He
spent the early hours singing What's
the Use OF Riding a Water Wagon
When They Build Them So High2'' he
Will be arraigned IN court in the morn
ing on charge Of intoxication-
The Washington times., 1907-08-17
Clear of Encumbrances.

That's it, your honor" exclaimed
Burger Now. how's he clear Of en-
cumbrances. I'd Ike to know, when he
can't even pull my bake wagon? This
Is horse on me. all right as II stands
but I don't intend 10 stand for II, and
1 want my money back or this man sent
10 prison"
During the bakers hysterical outburst
the horse dealer had listened calmly
with sarcastic smile playing about his
lips. he had, II seemed, been similarly
accused before, and had, as II were. be-
The Washington times., 1907-08-17
NATURE FAKE.

On the lower course of the Casamance
river in West Africa exists what q
French writer has rescribed as village
OF pelicans" The birds have been so
mercilessly hunted that they avoid the
presence of man, but In the neighbor-
hood of their Village" they show COM
paratively little fear.
There are even native African huts un-
der the enormous baobab trees in which
the birds have established their COM
munity. The nests are placed at the
ends OF the. branches. five or six in each
tree. Dry branches, rudely interlaced
form an insecure-lool1ing platform. COW
there the Toung birds Isnofingi,, bi1
and awkward in such a situation. may
be seen maintaining an unstable equil-
ibrium, yet never losing their balance
Chicago News.
The Washington times., 1907-08-17

NEW YORK. Aug. lion account Of
the high price Of -four and various other
expenses which have combined Of late
to reduce the income from his East-Side
bakery business, Rudolph Burger. be-
ing suddenly confronted with the neces-
sity of buying a horse because OF the
demise of the faithful animal which had
served him for years, naturally wished
to obtain one with as little outlay as
possible.
SO when Leopold Graus. a well-dressed
The Washington times., 1907-08-17
A. S. BRYAN FUNERAL
T0BE HELD MONDAY

Augustus S. Bryan. sixty-three years
OF age, and for thirty years a clerk in
the Treasury Department. IS dead at his
home. 1915 G street northwest. He was
III for only three days. and his death
was unexpected, as previous 10 that
time he had been in perfect health. He
was civil war veteran. Funeral services
will be held at his late residence Mon
day morning. and his remains will be
carried to Bethel. Md. for interment.
The Washington times., 1907-08-17
KEMP NOT CAPTURED,
SAY ST. LOUIS POLICE

J. Arthur Kemp, the alleged defaulting
chief clerk OF the Police Department,
has not been apprehended, as was re-
ported. The following dispatch from the
St. Louis authorities was received at the
Detective Bureau last night: The man
under arrest at Moselle is not the man
you want"
The Washington times., 1907-08-17

young man With a magnetic personality
and rare persuasive powers, agreed TO
sacrifice a fine looking bay for $50
marked down from Sl5O'-the baker
jumped at the chance and closed the
bargain forthwith.
Hut it was not written in the Book Of
Fate that the noble animal, which the
dealer had confidently asserted came OF
pedigreeG stock, should sink so low as TO
round out its days moving from door
to door with bread and rolls destined
for East Side stomachs.
The Washington times., 1907-08-17
Thought '7waS Pickpocket,(
But She Had Her License

TAUNTON. Mass, Aug. I7.-Attracted
by the actions OF a woman who was
searching the pockets OF a man sleep
ing on the common, n policeman walked
I'D behind her and watched the skillful
manner in which she was taking thu
mans money.
Have you a license TO rob that man?''
demanded the deputy.
Without stopping her rihing. the
woman looked up and said; Guess I
have: I'm his wife"
Just then the sleeper, who gave evil
The Washington times., 1907-08-17
BOOSTING ON PHONE WIRES,
BIRDS THREATEN LINES

NEW MARTINSvILLE. w. Va. Aug.
1.-THE wall swallows or martens have
taken possession Of this town, and are
threatening TO destroy the telephone
wires with their weight. In q certain
district they make their homes and
estimates show that within a space Of
700 feet. with six wires on the poles,
there are 10,O00 birds roostlng each night.
The Washington times., 1907-08-17
THE CALL OF THE w1LD-EYEp.

No. Clarinda.
You're mistaken.
That insistept
Voice you hear
Bounding lightly
Ger the prairies
Like a foghorn
Strong and clear
Docs not come from
Some grand doctor
Out with medicin-
To sell,
Nor Is II
A politician
Casting Ger
The land a spell.
1t IS not
An able barker
Barking for
a thrse-rinE show,
Nor is it from
One with babies
And with balls
For you to throw
IT Is from
The Western farmer,
Bone and sinew
OF the land.
Who has hayseed
In his whlskers
And a two-spot
In his hand.
One OF this
United nations
Strong and most
Substantial props.
Calling us
In tones pathetic
To come on
And save his crops.
Nashville American.
The Washington times., 1907-08-17

Mr.. Hartman says he'd be more
nearly satisfied II he owned all the
railroads. Well. the Government might
Yet him have them on condition that he
plid as taxes the interest on the watered
stock There'd be millions In IT,
The Washington times., 1907-08-17

dence or having been on a sightseeing
tour, awoke.
Has this woman any right TO 60
through your clothes?' he was asked.
Prying open his eyes, the sleeper
looked al the woman and smiled
Guess she has. She's my lawfully
welded wife. We've been married
thirty-five years"
Beth were taken TO police headquar-
ters, where they gave the names OF MT.
and Mrs. Joshua Brown, Of Rehoboth.
Mass, an1 were later released. Tho
woman kept her husband S possessions.
The Washington times., 1907-08-17
Disbursements simplifed.

Auditor Tweedale. on the advice OF
the District disbu-sing officer. has rec
ommended that but one payment be
made TO each employee, and that sep
arate payments be made for iaborers
and for cart and wagon hire. In order
TO simplify disbursinS methods IN pay
menS for team hire.
The Washington times., 1907-08-17
Equipped With Facts.

This the baker was not long in learn
ing and equipped with a considerable
array OF facts respecting the horse,
which. strangely enough. had failed TO
come out during the negotiations for the
aniuIars purchase. he hastened to the
Yorkville police court and had sum-
mons issued for Graus.
Your honor" heatedly declared the
baker. when the two men, each hanked
by lawyer. lined up on the bridge be-
fore Magistrate Breen, "the very first
time I took the horse this man sold me
out OF the stable he went about six
The Washington times., 1907-08-17

A legislative committee has lit the
capitol graft fuse in Pennsylvania. 1t
may lead to a terrific explosion, but it's
more likely to be slzzer.
The Washington times., 1907-08-17

Now that his engagement Is an
nounced. we are able to understand the
extremely hopeful tone OF Brother
Charles Emory Smiths editorials in the
Philadelphia Press these past six
months.
The Washington times., 1907-08-17

II would be interesting to know IL the
Martians are as curious about our canal
down in Panama as we are about theirs.
The Washington times., 1907-08-17

Have you anything against the as
SCISSOR? This is your last day 20 get
even.
The Washington times., 1907-08-17

Washington would get chesty as
summer resort IL she wasn't afraid
the sky would open and roast her for Il.
The Washington times., 1907-08-17

CNVot by a Special stan CorrespondentD
SOPCHOPPY, Fla, Aug. 1L-Charged
with having given goat whisky which
so intoxicated the animal that he be-
came exceedingly dangerous 10 persons
and property. Sam Y. Perkins was ar
ralgned In the justice Of the peace court
here and after the most sensational
trial IN the history OF the town was con-
victed.
After establishing the fact that the
goat was not Of a lovable disposition
even when unintoxicated. the prosecu-
ton showed that Samuel who is a
beardless country youth, had bethought
himself Of a most scandalous scheme 70
put the town IN an uproar. Securing a
quart Of ''mOonshine." he had thorough
ly saturated the grass about his goat
ships favOrite grazing ground. an oper-
alton which immensely pleased the goat
when he appeared a few moments later.
He nibbled the grass with avidity. Sam
ali the while Rouring more whisky upon
the unexplored area just in front OF the
animal.
Goat Starts on "Toot."
In less than thirty minutes Sam was
innOcently reading a copy Of a dime
novel at home while the goat had
started upon a "toot'' that would put
10 shame the towns most accomplish
ed boozer. Meeting Parson SimpSins
upon the street. the goat made for him.
and the parson. making a dextrous
movement, thought he had lodged the
horns, only TO discover that the goat
wobbled and butted where he wasn't
looking The parson received the full
force Of the impact and Is now as well
as might be expected although he says
IL is awful tiresome lying upon ones
stomach all day. Brother Jacobs, the
The Washington times., 1907-08-17
HAVE THE TINES MAILED TO YOU.

Persons leaving Washington for the summer
can have The Times mailed to them at tse
same rate paid for delivery In the city.
VIZ. cents week for the daily edition. or
II cents for the daily and Sunday editions.
GesiTed.
The Washington times., 1907-08-17

Looks as though the gas companies
had really turned on the light in the
District Building.
The Washington times., 1907-08-17

The Times Is served In the city OF wash
fngton and District of Columbia by newsboys.
who deliver and collect for the paper on
their own account at the rate Of 6 cents
week for the Evening and cents a copy for
Ihe SUNDAY edition
Enterd at the postosnce at Washington.
y. C.. as second class matter.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1907-03-20
Letter Mr.. Thos. 0. Mork.

Dear Sir: If you could get the ex-
elusive sale of q sweeter sugar for five
miles round pound as sweet as a
pound of usual sugar, and cost no more
you'd jump at it, wouldn't you?
There wouldn't be 100 III. of aHy-
other sugar sold in a year in your town;
you'd gobble the trade: and it woul int
hurt your whole business.
Devoe is ike thar among paints; 1t is
twice as sweet as some; it is sweeter
than any; not one exception; one gallon
is two or one-and-a-half or one-and-
three-quarters.
Better than that; paint has to be
painted: that costs g to 81 gallon
A gallon saved is 81 to 81 saved in la
Dor, besides the paint.
Even that isn't all. A gallon Devoe
put-on wears as long as two gallon
put-on at a cost Of g to 81 a gallon and
two gallons more put-on at 81 to S4 a
gallon. Count all that. The paint
that wears double costs less by three
gallons of paint ard three gallons of
painting that's about $l5 gallon for
those supertiUous gallons.
That's as sweet as d double-sweet
sugar, isn't it? Yours truly
FW DEVoE q Co
New York and Chicago
J. E. Nuzum sells eur paint.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1907-03-20
ON THE COUNTY LINE.

South West Prairie March flour temperance
society met with + Erickson on Sunday last. and
unusually good program was rendered Hen
~ Esketrand is again with us after spending the
winter months in De Soto. Quite a few from
this ridge attended the party in Sugar Creek Fri
day night. A fine time was enjoyed by all Ole
Lee and Andrew Olson arrived home from a
Crosse on Monday Aid society entertained
by Mrs N Fordey Wednesday last Fl Ekes-
trand contenp ates building a tobacco shed the
coming season DIR Robert Mahan Of New York.
visited at Lfahy's Sunday. He will spend
several weeks here. Lizzie Erickson entertained
at a six o'clock dinner Monday evening Joe
Harrison delivered his tobacco in Viroqua We'd
nesday. Soren Len. Sr, is in Readstown visiting
his daughter Mrs John Sine Ida Erickson is
working for Ole Vanberg's. Marie Tanley was
called home from Vroqua last week, by the Illness
of her frther Lewis Hcndrickson is visiting
relatives in North Dakota. Happy Ed Is assist
ing Martin Hageness in hauling wood this week
Minnie Runice and Helma Hillbo are employed in
Viroqua. .Aliek HauRen of North Prairie. makes
his regular trips TO our ridge. Richard Nathan
who had the misfortune to break his leg a coU le
of weeks ago. is improving slowly Marie -
is attending school in Readstown. Severt Sw -
visited friends Brush Creek over Sunday
A basket social viii be given at the home of Aus
tin Erickson Saturday evening, the I'D. New
mind the roadscome. hoB K. NECK.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1907-03-20
ADDITIONAL NEWS NOTES

Will Lawton spent Sunday in La
Crosse.
F. o. Sammons and brother-in law,
C. G. Snyder, left on Tuesday morning,
for an ext ended trip in Canada.
Mrs. Mary E. Baker of Ettrick,
Virginia, is expected here on Thursday,
ly.
%. T. Lindevig of Viola, was in tie
city, today, enroute to Coon Valley
where he will visit his brothers, Knut
and Chris. Lindevig.
Mrs. Jos. Oswald has disposed of
her restaurant business to Mrs. John
Hammond. Mr.. and Mrs. Oswald do
not expect to leave our city.
Miss Inga Moen has resigned her
position with the Tate Mercantile Co.
of this city, and accepted place as
bookkeeper with an Eau Claire firm
Allan Graves will leave the latter
part of this week for Miles City, Mon
tana, where he will join a surveying
poets to stay in the west for the en-
tire season.
Mr. c. w. Reeve of Henry, South
Dakota, and Miss Eva Shepard of this
city were married here today at the
residence of the brides parents, Mr..
and Mrs. F. w. Shepard. Miss Shep-
ard has until recently been employed
in the w. F. Lindemann Company
store. She leaves many warm friends
in our city where she has been favor
lite in church and social life Mr..
Reeve went from our city to Dakota
about two years ago and established
himself in the restaurant business at
Henry. He was for many years a res
dent of Readstown where he was post
master. After disposing of his bust
ness there he came to Viroqua and was
employed at the F. M. Towner store.
Mr.. and Mrs. Reeve left on the after
noon train for their Dakota home. The
CENSOR extends congratulations and
best wishes to them.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1907-03-20

Country Certainly Doomed.

Probably more young women are
kissed by mistake at the arrival OF
steam liners than any other place, ."
was the statement of a young won.
an whose daily duty is TO be on hard
at the arrival of foreign steamships.
This is especially so in the crowded
tourist season, when hundreds of PEG.
pie are hurrying down the gaEgplank
TO fall into the arms of waiting rela-
lives and friends. In the confusion |
have not infrequently found himself in
the arms of some doting father, who
In the rush had just missed his daugh-
ter and reachd me by mistake"