Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1907-07-18
SOME JOKES ON ROYALTY.
Even the German Kaiser Cannon
Oyerayye the Funny Man.

Even the German Kaiser Cannot
Oyerawe the Funny Man.
Rulers do not always escape the
practical joker, although royalty, as
rule, is impatient of trihing and sensi-
tive TO ridicule Even the Kaiser Is
ruff1ed, now and then, by an irreverent
jest at his expense.
What makes these jokes the funnier
to the world in general is the fact that
the joker has to beware the diverse
and dreadful penalties for lese majeste.
The monarch himself may not notice
them, but there are always obsequious
officials who think to recover the royal
dignity by pursuing the humorist-
4 couple of years ago a German
paper, presumably for a joke, publish
ed a paragraph to the effect that the
favorite flower of the Kaiser was
red carnation. The paragraph was
copied in almost every paper in the
country, and when, few days later,
the emperor visited AiX-la- Chapelle, all
those deputed TO receive him wore red
carnations in their buttonholes.
The Kaiser frowned angrily, but no
one knew until next day, when some
one, a little wiser than the rest, in
formed them that the flower was the
emblem Of his pet denominations, the
Social Democrats.
One of the most extraordinary
hoaxes on record is said to have been
played upon the Dewan Lalla Moolraj,
q native potentate of the Punjab, dur
ing the second Sikh War, in the win
ter of 1S4S-1S49. The British army,
commanded by Sir Hugh Cough, had
shut up the Dewan and his forces in
the fortified city of Mooltan. One day
the besiegers were amazed by the
thunderous sound of a most eXtrordin-
airy cannonade followed, not by shot or
shell, but by an assortment of miscel-
laneous provisions in a very fragmen-
tary condition raining into the British
lines.
The Sikh chieftain, it was afterward
discovered, had found in the city a
large store of canned meats, of the ma
ture Of which he was completely ig
norant. A native spy in British pay
gravely Informed him that they were
powerful explosives, and, hence, for
some days the British camp was greet
ed with showers of Strasburg pates
and other more or less mangled but
perfectly eatable timed food.
Patent Office No Pauper.
More patents were issued during 1905
and more money collected by the United
States patent office than in any single
year previous, with the exception of
1905, since the establishment of the pat
ent Office in 1886.
1t is shown that the receipts reached
a total of $1,79O,921.3S for the twelve
months, while the expenditures of the
Office were $1,000, S91.20 making a net
gain for the year of S230,0301S.
The patent Office is one of the very
few self-supporting departments of the
government. The amount of the patent
fund to the credit Of the Office in the
United States treasury is now $6,427,-
O21.S6.
During the past year there were S.
49, applications for patents for inven-
tons, designs and reissues, and a total
of 81 ,965 patents were issued. The res
idents of New York State proved the
most active inventors, submitting 1912
applications, or one for every $50 per-
sons. Illinois was second, with 3,1O7
patents. Patents granted to foreigners
numbered SAT-, of which eight We're to
Cuba inventors. The total number Of
patents issued between 1886 and 1907
is $40, 533-Technical World Magazine.