The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1907-01-10
BY The WAY

The coal man has the ice man beat
to "a standstll in the Northwest.
An insane man in New York shot a
policeman because he wanted compa
ny on the way to heaven. Wonder
where be got the idea that New York
policeman travel in that direction
when they die?
When you think of it, it does seem
strange to see a man receive large
wad of peace prize money shortly af-
ter advocating rifle practice in the
public schools.
District Attorney Jerome is hunt
ing "Pete' Davis, pool man. But
he always hunts with a megaphone
and brass band. "Pete" needn It
worry.
Twenty-hv large business houses
in Pittsburg are said to have adopted
reformed spelling. If Pittsburg must
do any reforming, she is going to
make start where it will hurt least.
Speaker Cannon's salary increased
to Sl2, coo year, is still 5000 less
than that of the president of the
American Baseball league The Amer
ican people look to the latter for the
greater sport.
North Oak ota's Christmas stocking
this year will be coal sack.
The French government proposes to
tax titles. Happily for Georgia and
Kentucky there is no such thought in
this land of the fres.
MIR. Roosevelt shows no disposition
to keep congress in after school and
make it study it's spelling lesson over.
A very lenient school master indeed.
A Chicago girl recently resisted five
footpads and put them to fight, and
all with hat pin. Its all very we'll to
make fun OF woman S ability to
shoot md threw rocks, but she is
right there with every jab Of the hat
pin.
A Chicago heiress is going to marry
a crack baseball player. Slowly but
surely the American heiressess are de
veloping taste for something better
than pawnshop count.
Secretary Strauss is settling the
South Carolina immigrantla Dor case
by the schedule OF common sense.
The Indiana man who gave 500, 600
to foreign missions and went to live
in the almshouse, has treasure laid up
in heaven, which is more than can be
said of some of our trust magnat es
who keep every cent they ever get,
Golfers Weekly calls it "the Japs
nese thundeIsauall. > Oh, thunder!
Congress now enjoys special mes
sage picked fresh from the patch
nearly every morning.
Two galleries for the accommodate, II
of visitors are built at the Chicago
water works-but just imagine such a
thing happening in Kentucky city
The Kentucky immortelles would turn
over in their graves.
The presidents canal messags to
congl ess, is something of Christmas
number itself. All it needs lie poem
on "Sunset at Colon" by Clinton
Scollsrd.
The gravity of reverend senators
appears to be no longer proof against
the daily lecture from the White
House.
In this age, Santa Claus refuses to
descend any but sterilized chimney
Conditions in New York are indeed
complex. When millionaire is
threatened he notifies the police to
catch suspects and then employs de-
tectives from another town to watch
he police.
The Pittsburg Gazette Times an
nounces the solution of the fuel prof..
lem. Without pausiug to read what
our contemporary has to say, it is a
reasonable guess that the plan is to
shovel the atmosphere into the base
ment and have it handy when the
furnace needs filling.
The man who is said to have made
$500, 600 out of "Florodora" is said
to be bankrupt. Former sextet gil Is
can do the right thing by giving him
a benefit performance.
And now comes the Richmond
Times-Dispstch, a usually peaceful
and law abiding contemporary, and
raises the quest on whether "phonet-
les is'' or phonetics are." Surely the
dead might be allowed to rest 10
peace.