Bisbee daily review., 1907-09-08
THE TERROR'S DINNER
"Rattlesnakes on Toast" Was
 the Cowboys Order.
BUT HE MET WITH HIS MATCH
n. p-cnartness With Which the Tough Waiter Served the Dish Took the Terrors Nerve Awsy-The Re- past and the Final Request.

louan "aftcF ScrNeo tno Dtsn ock
 the Terror's Nerve Awsy-The Re- past and the Final Request.
 Away back in 1876 q man named | Turpin established a restaurant in Yuma, and among Turpln's original employees was a waiter named Job Straight, who could shoot with great precision, play draw poker with un- varying success and pack eighteen plates of miscellaneous grub upon one bare arm at one time. He could exc cute all the prevailing melodies either on piano or guitar, and he possessed the most tremendous baritone voice ever heard in Arizona. Why, men some times went to Turpin's just to hear Joe deliver gastroDomic orders. No per feet description can be given of that voice, however. except to say that at tunes 1t really did make things chatter.
 Once a fresh young cowboy from near Glla Bend entered Turpin's for q Christmas dlnucr who took a startling connection as an appetizer and then dropped thud-like at q table and rough ly shouted to Straight:
 Say, there, Baldy! Bring me some grub!'
 Job was at first appalled,; but, recov- ering his reserve limit of eQuanimity. he brushed an imaginary brcadcrumb from the freScoed tablecloth and whisked a bill of fare from the varle- gated castor and placed it before the new young terror of the Bend. Take it away" cried the latter in tones that could give Sraights ordi- nary, everyday baritone a castle and checkmate it in five moves. "I don't want to read your darned old tract. don't care a darn who came inte the world to save sinners. Bring me some grub-g-r-u-b! Grub! Grub! Grub"'
 What do you wantF'
 "Rattlesnakes on toast! And I want you to hump yourself"'
 Whats that?
 i've given my order, you baldheaded old cigar store sign and want you to get move on yourself, p. d. q. Rattle snakes on toast!"
 hubllSsudheS Uu lOdSl. CTltu JOD NO the cook in accents that would have paralyzed Carl Formes had that old basso profundo been living and heard them.
 "Rattlesnakes on toast!" was the re verberating response from the cook upon receiving, the order.
 There were a dozen or more people in the restaurant, and their eyes were at once turned on the young person from the Bend and the infuriated waiter.
 In the meantime the cook had taken a big catfish and cut it into four strips and rolled these strips in batter. so that they much resembled the viGnd or dered, and after placing them in the frying pan he stuck his head out of the kitchen and shouted to Job:
 You want them rattlers rare or well done?"
 The waiter repeated the interrogatory in a cyclonic way, and the terror re- piled in as violent q tone and manner as he could command. "Well done, with plenty of gravy and Chilli Colorado"
 And tken Job thundered to the cook:
 Well done, with plenty of Chili Colo rado, hot as -, and moccasin gravy on the side and brOchettes of sand crane llvers and Gila monster lightsr'
 There was an instantaneously dead silence in that restaurant, and all eyes were again east upon the terror and the waiter. The former turned ashen pale and began to weaken perceptibly, while Job gazed at his victim.
 Maybe you don't think we can serve all the market affords" muttered Job. Maybe you don't like moecasin gravy or brochettes a Ia mode. Maybe you ain nuIESTy ; 1:
 Say! You've S0t Hie-I GiE't hungry, so help me. couldn't eat a single hard boiled egg. Countermand that durned order, old man, and I'll pay all ex- penses and set 'em up as long as any body can drink. Beg pardon, gentle men, all. My first attempt to be ter ror-pardon me, gentlemen. It's my lastr'
 And then he handed his revolver to Job and added:
 Take that pistol, old man, as present and promise me that the next AlLAC HUI NDi4lCS hSlt and calls for rattlesnakes on toast you'll shoot him deadr'
 But Straight was too raving mad all the way through to willingly emerge from a situation only tolerably tri- umphant. So he took the weapon just as the order was being placed on the table and, pointing 1t at the terror, exclaimed:
 ''Now, then, my boy, dump yourself Into that chair and eat them snakes bones, skin and aIl~
 The young fellow did as he was com manded, but after finishing his repast staggered the uncompromising Job by shouting:
 'T say, Baldy, bring me another plate of snakesr'-Denver News.