The Washington herald., 1907-06-16

AAAA NtAAaa
YES" 1 grumbIed, flinging myself on
the green knoll beside her, and winking
lmpressively at the caddy. who casually
sauntered away with a wisdom beyond
his years. and housecleaniHg, l added,
"and catching cold and losing money on
the races and buying automobiles, and
going 10 commencements. and working
himself into nervous prostration doing all
the other silly things people dc-in June.
rs it any sillier TO do things in June
than in january" inquired Kitty,
pucling a daisy. and regarding me over
its petals.
"Of course" I retOrted. promptly. June
is the foolish month. Nobody is respon-
sible for what he does in June. It's the
cocktail Of the seasons, and it always
goes to the head. It's the time when
people fan in love and get married, not
for any particular reason. but-just be
cause"
Kitty gave me another stealthy glance
across the daisy.
Isn't that why most people get mar
ried. anyhow" she asked, with charming
innocence.
Yes" I agreed, "just as they wear
freakish hats and rainbow socks and
purple petticoats and shake hands in the
air and give monkey dinners and have
appendicitis. The germ gets in the air,
the epidemic spreads and spreads and
nobody is immune. You may inveigh
against a thing and think il all ridiculous
rubbish, and vow not to give way to IT,
but the moment it becomes a popular fad
You catch the fever and are just as bad
as the rest"
But protested Kitty. marrying isn't
a fad nor a fever"
"Of all the silly epidemics of the
month OF Stiffness" 1 declared. obsti-
nately. its the most dangerous and in
sidious, and leaves the worse effects. A
June wedding is nine times out Of ten
followed by a January divorce"
But why began Kitty.
well" I broke In, did you ever take
q cocktail"
What"
And a highball?"
Mr.. Curtisr
and another and another and-an-
other!"
How dare yOu.'
And then find yourself doing and say
ing things that you never would have
dreamed Of doing or saying in your nor
NAL condition? That's the way June af-
fects a human being. A man will pro-
pose 70 a girl under the influence of a
perfect afternoon and a perfect scene
and the smell of lilacs and honeysuckles
and the twitter Of birds and the simmer
Of a lake that he wouldn't waste half an
hour on if he were perfectly sane and II
was raining and chilly and the wind was
blowing. and he was hungry for his din
ner"
why don't you inoculate yourself.
asked Kitty, sarcastically.
L can't" 1 groaned, "and, besides
there isn't any way
you might take a dose of weddings"
suggested Kitty.
What"
Watch all your friends go through the
death agony" she explained, in stin
coats and whiting collars and varying
states Of nervous prostration. while fine
bride choBes out the words Of the Cere-
mony through a barriCade Of tulle and
steps on her own toes and stumbles over
her train. And if that doesn't cure you,
sitting in a broiIing pew and q broiling
collar on a broiling day, with your shoes
pinching and your coat blistering your
back and the perspiTation running down
your forehead ought to-ought to"
Bring you 20 your senses" 1 finished,
but it doesn't. Cold water never cured
a fever. And. besides, going among the
stricken IS the very thing that spreads
the disease. People with the June mar
rying fever ought to be Quarantined or
kept in an isolated ward. II you come in
contact with them you are bound TO get
the mental suggestion. II is in the very
atmosphere and even if you have never
dreamed Of matrimony and would rather
collect crocodiles or turtles than fam
ily and love a latchkey better than your
life, once the June germ enters your sys-
TEN Il begins to work and"
How does it work. Mr.. Curtis?" in
qUired Kitty. anxiously.
We'll" 1 began, take a nice chap in
a perfectly normal state of mind, who
considers himself immune to sentiment
and women and everything pertaining to
domesticity. He comes down 10 break
fast and finds half a dozen square white
envelopes at his plate. inviting him to
1,e o. -1.r
nUpual celebrations. He is properly dis
gusted. He meets his dearest chum at
the club in a state Of delirium at the
prospect Of paying some girls board for
the rest Of his life. He doesn't see the
point cf the thing, but he begins to think
there may be something in it after all
He is buttonholed by Mr.. Newlywed at
the Office, who rhapsodizes on the joys Of
a sweet home life, and collared by the
boss, who tells him joyfully that his
daughter is about 10 enter the happy
hunting grounds Of Hymen. He gradual
ly begins to feel sure there is something
in it. His friends disappear from the
club Cne by one. and all the incest girls
he knows drop of the parental tree and
wave him happy farewell He suddenly
feels lonely Every time he opens the
paper he chances upon columns Of real
estate ads. He finds himself dreaming
about house in the country or a cot
tage I'm the, suburbs. In a fit of senti-
mentality he goes 10 look at some The
real estate man shows him a gem. lust
for two and decants on its virtues with
a subtle wink. He rushes back home
and fUriously smokes his pipe. Then he
meets a fair-to-middling girl in a fluffy
hat-and the deed is done. The new crop
Of FOOLS is sown-for the following Junei"
1T sounds awfully Meet sighed Kitty,
pensively.
'What?'
ITO be foolish" she explained. naively
of course it is ] agreed, while it
lasts. So is the effect of a cocktail The
trouble is that there always is the next