davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-03-08
Ahnut The Limit.

A newly married couple came In a
hotel where we were resting and asked
how much il would cost TO get two
bowls of boiled rice and milk and
were informed that the price was 10
cents per portion. The groom pulled a
small package wrapped IN. a bit or
newspaper from his pocket and, open
ing ii, displayed about double hand
full Of rice. which he said they had
gathered from their clothing after the
shower which followed the early morn
Ing wedding. He inquired how much
would re deducted if they furnished
their own rice and upon being inform
ed that no allowance could be made be-
came indignant and remarked that
they would wait until they reached
home for their dinner rather than sub
NIT to such unfair dealing and left the
place The proprietor said that the
young man owned one of the best
farms in the town and had established
quite a famoue reputation locally for
economy, although that is not exactly
the way he expressed it.-Forest and
Stream
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-03-08
Tim Hurst's Baseball Troubles.

At the close OF that memorable sea
son when Tim Hurst managed tho
Browns for Won der Abe he laid over Ia
Philadelphia on his way to his home
I'D the state. and while in the Quakef
City he told his daily experiences
while running the Mound City club.
"My Mondays" said Timothy, were
devoted 10 telling the st. Louis sporting
editors how | was going to win the
pennant the next year. Tuesdays l
would be kept busy denying to the club
owners that | had ever made any such
statements. Wednesdays l would be
explaining to the newspapers why we
weren't winning games. Thursdays l
would be fighting with Chris to keep
him from fining the players all the
money they had coming 20 them. Fiji
days would generally be busy all day
getting the terms OF pitchers that no
batter could hit"
"And on Saturdaysr
"On Saturdays l would spend the
day signing players that couldn't hit
any kind of pitching."-Duluth Herald.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-03-08
Lowell Got His Whacks.

In his volume on the practice OF d.
plomacy John W. Foster relates an H.
Eliminating anecdote concerning James
Russell Lowell when he was our min
lister at Madrid. At royal reception
Minister Lowell, in plain evening dress,
was preceded up the palace stairway
by a minister from Central America,
gorgeously appareled, wearing a jew
eled sword. who was saluted at each
landing by the magnificent halberdler
with q heavy whack of the battle ak on
the marble pavement. AS Mr.. Lowell
wore no insignia Of office, he received
no attention. At last, his patriotl"
blood boiling, he addressed the halber'
dier in excellent Spanish, do you
know who | ann" 81 don't" "Well,"
said Mr.. Lowell. II am the minister
plenlpOtentiary of the United States OF
America. the greatest nation on earth.
and if you don't whack the next time
| pass you will forget you at Christ
mas And the halberdier- whacked
thereafter as directed.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-03-08
Prev Of the Sparrow Hawk.

The sparrow hawk almost invariably
catches a flying bird for its meal, even
striking down birds as large as the
wood pigeon. though usually going no
higher than blackbrd. II 1t does not
exactly swoop like the larger hawks,
yet 1t must have conditions OF chase or
It's own choosing That is why the
small birds usually mob 1t with impu-
nifty when they are numerous enough
TO bewilder II. Once. however. | saw
a sparrow hawk that had been moleSt-
ed for some minutes by n perfect cloud
Of green finches dart among them and
secure a victim. One day / had one OF
these birds pointed out as the one
which few days earlier had come
close TO the house toward dusk and
caught a bat on the wing. That. how
ever, Is a very unusual meal.-LondoD
News.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-03-08
Rossini's Watch.

In 1924 Charles Y. presented Rossini.
the compose. with repeating watch,
studded with diamonds, and playing
two Of Rossinis melodies. Nobody In
Bologna could clean the watch. so 1t
was sent in the care Of the tenor. Fa-
blano. to Paris, where it was destroyed
in a fire. Plivee, the matchmaker,
thereu5on made a second watch. the
exact counterpart Of the first. except
that the diamonds were false. and Ros'
sini. who never discovered this pious
fraud. wore the trinket all his life. On
his death it passed to a relative. whose
son sold il II an EnglShman. 1t Is
said to contain an excellent portrait III
enamel OF RosSini as lie was in 1874.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-03-08
Plain Words.

Freeman, the historian. 1t was said,
was apt to grow irritable over matters
Of intellectual difference. One day he
was at the Macmillans' when the con-
versation turned upon the subject OF
Ireland. Mr.. Macmillan said that, for
his part, he was in favor OF granting
autonomy.
Whereupm Freeman began to growl
at the use OF Greek word.
"Why can't you speak English de-
manded he, land say home rule In
stead of speaking Greek, which you
don't know"
One OF the guests flushed with anger
and ventured to reproye Freeman, call
ing his attention to the respect due
their host and at the same time paying
tribute to Mr.. Macmillan's remarkable
abilities. But. although Freeman did
not apologize in so many words, he
smoothed the matter over by humor-
Gus repetition of his criticism. Later
some one mentioned gout. There you
go again. exclaimed Freeman. why
can't we call it toe woeY
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-03-08
Some Notes on "Oriains."

'Tumpty Dumpty Sat Oh Wall"
etc, has come down TO Us from the
days of King John. The Babes In the
Wood" dates from the fifteenth CEN
tury, being founded upon facts. an old
house near Wayland Wood, Norfolk,
having the whole story In carvings on
a mantelpiece Little Jack Horner,"
Little Miss Muffett," "Old Mother
Hubbard Mother Goose and
"Goosey, GooSey Gander." are each
traceable TO the sixteenth century.
Pussy Cat. Pussy Cat, Where Have
You Been?" belongs to the reign or
Queen Elizabeth. Three Blind Mice"
first appeared In music book dated
1909. "a Froggie Would a-Wooing Go"
was licensed to be sung as far back as
1850 Boys and Girls Come Out to
Play" and Lucy Locket Lost Her
Pocket both hail from the period OF
Charles III. And last Of all, "Clnderel-
la" Jack the Giant Killer" Blue
beard" and Tom Thumb were pub
llshed by their author, Charles Per-
rault, in the year 16o7.-London Notes
and Queries.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-03-08

Some years az an oil Freachwomai
died in a poor lart Of Dullin, and heI
little effects were PAT up for auction
Among other Ode, ana ENDS was .
necklace OF dry looking green stones
which did nJt attract much attention
However. shrewd par OF deaie.s
thought the. might be money In il
and decided o. purchasing. clubbing
together - FOR the purpose. On taking
II 70 well knowl jeweler he prompt
IL offered f1.jC0. which sum they re
fused and sold the necklace OF purcSt
emeraldS for 5000 in London, where
Lord Rosejery Oh h.s marriage pur'
chased il for something like t2U.OOO.
The old Frenchwoman's mother had
been attached to the court of France
and the emeralds had once formed part
of the crown jewels.-London Answers
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-03-08
Child Cynics.

A London writer eXclaims at think
ing there Is really nothing to ac
count for the extraordinary critica
mood which the modern child has de
veloped In regard 10 tOyland.' Th'
modern child will simply not make be
lieve. Little boys and girls alike be
come stickl2rs for the correct thing
and If the build Of a steamship or
motor car. the cut OF dolls frock o.
the mysteries the eye docs not usually
see are not lust Ike" the real thin;
there is trouble. II Is said that 10.
makers have ccen now 10 employ sci
entihc experts acd French m'lliners J
they hope II pass tire critical eyes o
the new chill" The fact is the mod
ern child is born cyi.ic and safe
little darling. Ii has ~ emotions. u
desires save 10 destroy AMI be 1--we
and breathcd Tor by necessary parent
Boston Herald.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-03-08
Napoleon Trusted His Omens.

Napoleon always had an unlimited
trust in his presentiments. When the
news came to him that one of the Nile
river boats, she name Of which was
LItalie, had been wrecked and the
crew put to death he gave up all hope
of ever completing his conquest or
Italy by annexation. Napoleon believ-
ed that the stars exercised an occult
influel ,e over human destinies. When
General Rapp. at one time his aid-de-
camp, returned from the siege OF Dant-
sic he found the emperor gazing with
concentrated attention at the heavens.
Look there shouted the emperor.
at is my star. The fiery red one, al
most as large as the moon. 1t Is be-
fore you now, and, ah, how brilliant!
It has never abandoned me for a SIM
gle instant. see it or all great oc-
casions. 1t commands me to go for
ward; 1t Is my sign Of good fortune,
and where II leads l will follow"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-03-08
Schnapps Tobacco is Made ENTIRELY from Flue Cured
Tobacco Crown i'm the Piedmont Country
The Imitation Brands Have Schnapps
Quality Only On the Outside
Of the Plug ~ y

claimed to be "just as good" as
Schnapps, but there is only one gen
uine Schnapps. Be sure the letters
on the tag, and stamped on the plug
under the tag spell S-C-H-N-A-P-P-S
and then you have 1.-THE most
wholesome tobacco produced, with
just enough sweetening to preserve
the mild, juicy, stimulating quality OF
the leaf tobacco. Expert tests prove
that this fue cured tobacco, grown
in the famous Piedmont region, re-
quires and takes less sweetening than
any other and has wholesome,
stimulating, satisfying effect on
chewers. -
If the tobacco you are chewing
don't satisfy you more than the mere
habit of expectorating, stop fooling
yourself and chew Schnapps tobacco.
Schnapps is like the tobacco chewers
formerly bought costing from 75c.
to $I.oo per pound; SchnapPs is
sold at 5oc. per pound, in SC. cuts,
strictly Ioc. and I5c- plugs.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-03-08
The Old CaIfskin Shoe Lace.

The modern boot lace Is anything but
a luxury. 1t Is nearly always just too
long or a little too short, and, although
made fat, 1t soon becomes curled with
little wear. In the old days laces
were made Of calfskin, and nearly ev-
cry farmer was an expert. He would
cut a disk Of leather three or four
inches in diameter, stick the point OF
a sharp knife blade in a board, place
the thumb nail the thickness Of a match
from it and quickly draw the string
through the opening. the perimeter be-
ing reduced the thickness Of a match
at every measure Of the circumfer-
ence. Then the square string was
rolled between the sole Of the shoe
and the floor till perfectly round, after
which It was creased with tallow.
Such q lace would last for months.
Round laces are now made Of fiber,
but their shine soon wears off, giving
them q much worn appearance.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-03-08
How Dolls Are Made.

Many big things are needed to make
, small doll. She has her beginning
N great trough. where .workmen
knead up into a dingy paste old card
board. even old gloves. old rags and
gum tragacanth. They are great
brawny fellows, these men, naked to
the waist, wearing leathern aprons.
In an adjoining room the paste Is pour
cd into molds for the busts, the arms,
the legs OF dolls innumerable. There
Is a special machine for stamping out
the hands. | should not like to con-
fess how long l stood In front OF IL.
fascinated by the steady stream OF
uueer little hands that fell ceaselessly
from the iron monster. 1t was aw-
full. uncanny, hypnotizlng. Indeed, the
whole sight was grim and monstrous.
The low factory rooms were misty with
steam and lit by strange, red glowing
fires. Always the great steel machines
pulsed and changed, and through the
mist sweaty giants of men went to and
fro with heaps Of little greenlsh arms
and legs until you began to think that
some new Herod had killed all the lit
tie people in the wOrld.-Everybody's.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-03-08
"a --S
II Made a Difference.
No. 10

An excited man rushed into law
yer's office and without any preliml-
nary burst out, Has husband right
to open his wlte's letters" Certainly
sir, certainly" was the reply. open
all you please" well. here is a letter
my wife has written TO your wife and
asked me to deliver. | think there's
something unpleasant IN it about me-
wish you'd open it and If there Is JUST
burn it" "Humph! Does my wife
know your wife is going to write TO
herr yes" And II my wife doesn't
get this letter she'll soon find 1t out
won't sheY "Of course" "On second
thoughts" said the lawyer thought
fully, Il believe there is legal finding
TO the effect that 1t Is a criminal Of
fense to open a wife's letters.
couldn't take the risk, sir; indeed, l
couldn't"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-03-08

An old man was just recovering from
nv operation. and as he lay rega.nng
csrssciorsness he heard tie doctor say
10 4 nurse regarding some p'Fcers
70 he cAven him, If on" ere,y j. 'lr =
too mych give h,m hrlf oc' cr-'y
half ho,r.' TIE c;l tuti'..'A r.. 81
himself u;,.u u;s elbow an said:
"Say. doc. that remir's me Of mah
that had Newfoundland de-. HIS
wife got so 1)red of having h.n t;Ae
doc. not the man) track Z? the c'2rS
and porches that frally she II. @ -ef
husband take tie Cog 10 to"A "2!
sell him. That afternoon be rer'r.ei
radiant Well be said. I've sold h u
for so5r Good" cried his wife. i can
get that hat now But continued
the man. L bought two puppies with
the money. :,
The doctor looked at the nurse and
said:
II think he'lI recover"
S.-He dM.-Judge.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-03-08

A company Of EOung American tour
t;ss visited the home Of Beethoven IN
Ponu and were ulreSuaiIed In their
eSpressicps OF wonder. admiration ana
approral of the room where lie mas
fer had Iived and worked. They ask
ed many questions about Beethoven.
and finally one young lady seated her.
self IT bis piano and proceeded. with
true American confidence, to play the
Moonlight Sonata" Bce1hovcn's own
work. in his own room. on his own
piano. Such an Interesting comblna-
toni
The old caretlkcr stood there, stern
and silent. When the performance was
over the young lady turned 10 tie old
man and said:
"I suppose many musicians nave
been here and have played on this in-
strument?"
"Paderewski was here once. ma
dame
'Ahw she sighed.
But" continued the faithful guard
ian. when some one urged him TO
play on Beothovea's piano he said. NO:
| am not worthy"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-03-08
Paint and Ocean Travel.

"The worst feature Of ocean travel
Is never mentioned In steamship COM
pany prospectuses or in books Of tray-
ell" said a returned tourist. 1T Is not
seasickness, for only few are taken
that way in the ocean greyhounds that
neither rock nor pitch. 1t Is not the
narrow quarters or the inferior cook
ing or the tipping habit. 1t Is paint
There is always wet paint on an ocean
steamer. and there is never sign on
1t to warn passengers. The modern
sailor Is a painter, constantly welding
the brush, always painting some part
Of the ship or other There Is hardly
a passenger on an ocean liner that does
not land from a voyage with some ar
ticle Of apparel damaged by paint. A
sailor told me once that every ship Is
entirely repainted inside and out at
least three times year. The work
goes on constantly In port and on the
sea, and the passenger never can es-
e."-Phlladelphia Record.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-03-08
How to Enjoy Whist.

"How can one learn TO enjoy the
game Of whistT'-Aspirant
Get yourself roped into a game as
partner TO some one who helped Hoyle
write his book. The other two players
must also be experts. Start in pleas
antly to enliyel he game with a few
well chosen az iotes, now and then
making the w"Jlg play. After your
partner has slapped your ears and
sworn at you ar put the black curse
on you and ali yoIr ancestry and called
you a fool Il lew times you will awake
to the real Joy Of the gentle and intel
lectual game We have tried this sew
eral times. but Iot at frequent inter
vals, and we can guarantee its efficacy.
Chicago News.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-03-08

Hundreds of imitation brands are
on sale that look like Schnapps to-
bacco. The outside of the imitation
plugs of Tobacco is fue cured the same
as Schnapps, but the inside is filled
with cheap, flimsy, heavily sweetened
air cured tobacco. One chew of
Schnapps will satisfy tobacco hunger
longer than two chews of such to-
bacco. The color, size and shape
of the tags, plugs and packages OF
certain imitation brands of tobacco
have been made SO much like
Schnapps that they have often been
accepted by buyers under the belief
that they were getting Schnapps.
Sufficient proof has been secured
to establish the fact that certain
brands are infringements and in vio-
lation of the trade mark laws, yet the
trade will continue to be imposed
upon by these infringers until the suit
already entered and now pending to
protect Schnapps is decided. A
great many of these limitations are
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-03-08
A Srooth Villain,

"Before We were married." she com
planned. you always engaged cab
when you took me anywhere. Now
you think the street car is good enough
for me-"
"No, my darling. don't think the
street car Is good enough for you. It's
because I'm so proud Of you. In cab
you would be seen by nobody, while l
can show you off TO so many people by
taking you in q street car"
"You dear. Forgive me if gave you
pain in saying what | did.'-Chicago
Record Herald.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-03-08
The Story of a Charm.

A titled English lady has n story Of
a woman who had a little japanese
charm given her. Every time she wore
it some mischance happened. and she
generally fell i'll. Her son at last took
the Jewel TO the keeper Of the Japa-
nese curios In the Paris museum and
requested to be informed what the
charm represented. This" said the
expert at once, SIS the emblem Of sick
ness" The woman never wore 1t
again.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-03-08
Caihoun and Randolph,

When John G.. Calhoun became vice
president Of the United States and con-
sequenuy president of the senate he
announced that he had not the authori-
ty to call the senators to order for
words spoken in debate. as he regard
ed each senator as an ambassador from
a sovereign state. The eccentric John
Randolph Of Virginia took advantage
Of Mr. Calhoun's ruling to abuse him
personally. One day he began TRADE
by saying, "Mr. Speaker mean Mr..
President OF the Senate and Would BE
President Of the United States, which
God in his infinite mercy avert!
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-03-08
The Good Little Cent.

A popular clergyman had just closed
a successful religious campaign. a
great many pennies had been put in
the offering, and his attention was
called TO this. one night he held up
a silver dollar and copper penny and
gave a conversation held by the tive
coins. You poor little red cent, you;
you don't amount 10 anything. I'd
hate to he you," said the big dollar.
81 know I'm not very big" replied
the cent. but the children like me.
and | can buy n good many things"
Huh, you can't buy anything at all!'
said the dollar. Just look at me, big
and bright and shiny. | can buy a
whole Tot more than you can" May
be So" said the little red cent meek
ly, "but L 90 TO church heap oftener
than you do anyway"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-03-08
Enoj;.h end French Husbands.

When an English wife has Mysteries
her husband is Immediately bored and
goes to his club Or else he says: You
are not vesy well. ms dear. Shall |
send for 4 GJ> >to::" The Frenchman,
au contra.rc. has Mysteries too. The
Frenchman may fight with his wife.
love her. hate her. kiss her or kill her.
but Indifferent to her. superior to her.
never.-Pol de Leon in London World.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-03-08
Echo Verses.

Echo verses were sometimes used
effectively for epigrams and squlbs.
Thus critic once wrote:
I'd fain praise your poem. But tell ne.
how is II
When / cry out exquisite" echo crles
quiz lt?"
And when in 1881 Paganini was
drawing crowds to the opera house at
extravagant prices the Times printed
the following lines:
What are they who pay three guineas
To hear n tune OF Paganinis5
Echo-Pack o ninnles!
London Graphic.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-03-08
What TO Name Your Dog.

There are certain English names for
dogs that have meanings that might be
given when appropriate. Alan means
hound; Ashur. black; Blanco, white;
Crispin, curly: Duncan, brown; Julius,
soft haired; Leonard, lionlike; Linus,
faxen haired: Rufus. red; Vivian, live
ly; Clara. bright; Constance, loyal;
Joyce, sportive. Such names as Scud,
Rover, Dart and Patter are suggestive
in themselves. Two classic names suit
able for dogs are Biteou and Lixus.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-03-08
The Truth of Il.

Teacher-Johnny. can you define fOT
us the difference between caution
and "cowardce?" Johnny - Yessum.
When you're scarf t. % out on boat
and stay home for fear it'll sink anu
the boat comes In all right. it's cow
ardlce." TeHcher - Well? Johnny -
And If you're scarf AMI stay home ana
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-03-08
Youthful M:sinformation.

Among the answers to questions nj
a recent school examination We're the
following interesting examples or
youthful misinfornation: Gross ignc-
rance Is IA times us bad as just orCl-
nary ignorance "Anchorite. an old
fashioned hermit sort Of Il fellow who
has anchored hisSelf 10 one place.
The liver IS an infe-nal organ. ~ l.
CUM is nJth.ng with the air sIcke''
out Of il put II in a p.cl.le bottle. 1t Is
very hard - get.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-03-08
ReciprocitY.

"No," snapped the sharp faced wo-
man at the door, II amt got no food
fur you. an I amt got no old clo'es.
Now git"'
Lady" replied Harvard Hasben, Il
could repay you well. Give me a
square meal and I'll give you few
lessons In grammar" - Philadelphia
Press
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-03-08
Wouldn't Dance Upside Down

A young lady rushed into drug
store aud asked for some floor wax.
The clerk told her they had no door
wax. but had some sealing wax. she
replied. I'VE are going to give dance
and want TO wax the floor. not the
Baltimore Sun.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-03-08
A Good Small Farm for Sale.

Containing I6l3 acres OF land near Fairview,
Va, adjoining the lands of Sam'l Hepne1 and
w a Sager on which is a good house of five
rooms, cistern, wash house and smoke house,
$50 full bearing apple trees, IS damsons and
plenty of smaller fruits and nne never fail
ing spring of fine water near house. well
fenced with wire and rails, convenient to
churches, schools, post Office and stores. APP
ply to J. n. DAVIS * co.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-03-08
Translation Called For.

Downright Woman-Where did you
come from? Classic Tramp-Madam,
castigated my itinerary from the class
ic Athens OF America. d. WI asked
We where did you come from? c. t.
I beat my WAY from BOstOn.-Baltl-
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-03-08
DR.. w. A. COYNER
Veterinary SURGEON.
Graduate Ontario Veterinary College,
Toronto, Canada.
Calls Promptly Answered both ir
City, County and State.
Special Attention to Dis
eases of Cattle.

OFFICE: SAaER's LIVERY, VIM
CHESTER, VA, can be reached by phone.
DR.. Coyner's Tonic powders, BlisteIs,
Lipsments, and Lotions, for scratches.
Gaulds, &c can be had at Walton &
Smoot's Drug Store.
VIII ans Ser all letters In reference To
any Of the above medicines.
sefk 3e-H.