The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-09-18
RAP AT OUR MAIDS
Western Beauties Call Cap
ital Girls 'StOre-made."
FIGURES NOT REAL, THEY ADD
They Have "Vacuous
stare" and an Enamel Laugh -
the Poor, Dear Men, Is More Than
They Ever Expect to Know.

To approach twenty-five young women
IS no joke for mere man at any time,
Particularly If he is aione. but the very
thought of being confronted by twenty
five breezy Western girls who ride and
shoot ard are many miles from the sober
ing influences of home, is almost too much
to ask, even Of a newspaper reporter.
There doesn't seem to be much differ
ence between girls from Washington
State and Washington City to the untu-
tored masculine observer, but several Of
the Western girls. with subtle criticism,
consented 10 analyze the line Of demarka-
ton and TO point out with no uncertain
emphasis the glazing and unattractive
features Of Washington femininity.
Miss Irma Dunford. a statuesque bru.-
nette hailing from Benton County. and
Miss Grace Crooks, likewise of Benton.
but Of distinctly blond type. We'd with
each other in their keen filings az the
'pomp, stateliness, and vacant express
sion" Of the feminine parade which was
passing the Ebbitt House on it's way
down + street and back. and down again.
Real Girls and Near-glrls.
The main difference that see between
our Western girls and your boosted beau
ties of the effete East" said Miss Dun
ford, SIS that when you see oar girls
you see our girls. but when you see "a
Washington girl you really can't be so
sure"
They are drug store ladies" added
Miss Crooks.
Drug store LADIES'" asked the reporter.
THAT Is somewhat vague and carries no
very distinct meaning"
1T means, If you must have the in
delicate expression. that they all paint
and powder and use heavens knows what
modern inventions 10 improve their APP
pearance.' answered Mss Dunford.
They are all gotten up, made up, a"
elucidated Miss Crooks.
They are not even artistically made
up, came from the first Western girl
Foolish, Foolish Man!
They are frights, and I don't see how
khe men can be fooled so" the second
Western voice remarked.
They ali seem 10 be almost perilously
i'll with eunui; they seem 20 suffer as
they walk; they are painfully blase. Miss
Dunford continued
They have a vacuous stare and an
er anml laugh; they are artificial and
one would think that they were always
on the stage. They do not seem 10 have
natural moment. They wouldn't last
minute w.;a the people of the West, '
Miss Crooks epitomized.
And then both girls realized that they
were talking for publication, and asked
that they be allowed 10 go and write
some nice complimentary things about
the local beauties. but the reporter was
obdurate. and the girls finally asked that
the fact be emphasized that they We're
not speaking through envy. And they
blushed. naturally, OF course. displaying
10 best advantage their unhomemade
compilations.
Figures Like Lady COntOrtiOnists.
How about the 1gures?" the reporter
timidly asked. knowing that he was
treadlng on dangerous ground. But the
girls came back strong, and talked both
at once. and the glst of their observa-
tons was;
1.-THE figures are certainly snug and
nice That is. some of them; but there
are others who, if they were seen on the
streets Of our Western towns. would be
taken for lady contortionists. We have
no such things as serpentlne walks or
three-inch waists. And yet. with all the
exercise we get. We Western girls ought
20 have good figures We have, too; but
they can't appear in the same street with
the ngures OF your Eastern girls, for
most OF them are the most symmetrical
have ever seen
But III let you into a secret about
them. They are changeable. and care
fully planned. Dressmakers are COM
PEELED TO burn midnight oil over them.
The Washington girls as a class-that is,
the ones ! have seen on F street, and at
night after the theaters-are painted and
padded. but they know how to do Ii. and
1t really makes them beautiful. They are
the best-dressed. women 7 have ever seen.
but can't Ike them. They are cold, IN
approachable, and look as cOnceited as
actresses.
The Poor, Dear Men,
The men are all good, Woodworking
looking souls. oppressed and bent over.
There are few big men. and most OF
those that look big are afflicted with the
same pads as the women. Why, 1 have
seen ten with corsets on. and I suppose
in the height Of the season one could see
fifty a day. Those that I've talked to
are nice enough, but they are not the
big, brave fellows that we grow in our
country"
Outside OF the men and women. the
city is all right. isn't itg' the reporter
asked, afraid that several other INSIDE
meauors would be charged to the Capital
"Oh, yes; the public buildings are Just
lovely"
The girls are in Washington on a news
paper trip from Washington, as the
guests of a leading farm paper Of the
Coast They are under the guidance of
Phillip S. Bates. the proprietor OF the
paper. who is making his second such
trip. Each girl is firm in the conviction
that her own county of her own State
is the garden spot Of the universe, and,
though they all admire the things they
have seen, they are loyal TO Washington