davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1907-09-12
Jordan Water.

There is general impression that
the Jordan water which Is used at
royal baptisms Is taken from the sa-
cred stream. put into bottle. hermet-
ically sealed and left untouched until
the bottle Is opened by the officiating
priest. AS matter Of fact. the water
which flows out OF the lake Of Cal
lice and descends rocky gorge to
q level far below that Of the Mediter-
ranean Is full Of organic substances.
II a bottle be filed with the water
and kept tightly corked for few
days 1t turns perfectly black and Of
fers to the nostrils all the odors Of
the tropics. The precaution Is there
fore taken Of boiling the water and
straining It before 1t is sealed up. and
this is why the baptismal water al
ways possesses the crystal clearness
which one notices on these ceremonial
occasions. Modern Society.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1907-09-12
The undertaksr's Shop.

~'The one thing In New York that
can't get used to-" said the country
visitor, rs the manifold uses to which
undertakers put their shops. I used to
be Of the opinion that the only possible
errand a person could have at an un-
dertakers was to purchase funeral
:: supplies, but in this town I hnd that
people 90 there for all sorts OF pur-
poses, They go to vote, to get mar
lried and to transact all the legal busi-
uess that q notsfy public Is capable OF
transacting. Yesterday I even saw
party eating luncheon In an under
takers establishment. They had come
into town apparently to attend a fu-
neral and instead Of patronizing a res
taurant they calmly munched their
midday meal In the midst Of those lu-
gubr.ous surroundings" - New YORK
Globe.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1907-09-12
Old Fashioned oratery.

1--WE don't have no sich forensic ora
tory as we used to have" said the old
settler. Lawyers nowadays don't
crate. They only just talk.
Take old Bill K. Simmons Of Eau
Clair. II Bill was defendin' a lowly
chicken thief he'd speak with the
tongue Of angels. I'll never forgit the
peroration Of his impassloned philippe
In the Clay Bull case about the poison
ed cat. 1t runs like this here"
The little. thin old man rose, reared
back in a defiant attitude and shouted
In the cracked treble Of age:
".Restn' upon the couch Of repub-
lican liberty as I do, covered with the
blanket Of constitutional panoply as I
am and protected by the aegis Of
American equality as feel myself to
be, despise the buxzin' Of the profes-
sional inseck who has Just sot down
and defy bis attempt to penetrate with
puny sting the interstices Of me i'm
pervious coverin'.' New York Press.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1907-09-12
A MYstsrs of Inde China.

The great mystery about Indo- China
and one which must ever be insoluble
Is the story Of the lost race and the
vanished civilization Of that strange
country. The mighty walls Of AnSkor-
Wat. rising in the midst Of sparsely
settled jung.es. remain as the memo
rial OF gplt empire which has ut
terly c. appeared and Is altogether lost
to history. No one will ever know
who planned this gigantic temple or
what tyrant bounded on his myriads
Of people to build up those immense
blocks Of stone and cover them with
the most elaborate Of sculptures. Ang-
kor-wat was one Of the most aston
fishing monuments In the world, and
this forgotten temple was built % as
to endure as long as the earth itself
were 1t not for the irresistibly de-
structive effect Of plant life on the
strongest walls that man can raise.
Only a highly civilized and very
wealthy people could have erected
Angkor-Wat a very different race from
the Anamite OF modern days. The
whole nation has disappeared as utter
ly as the busy myrlads who once pop
ulated the wastes and solitudes Of
MemptAs.-Singapore Free Press.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1907-09-12
The Razor In pisrsputs.

"And he told her all his heart. and
said unto her, there hath not come a
razor upon mine head, for have been
q Nazarits unto God from my mothers
womb: II be shaven. then my
strength will 90 from me. and shall
become weak and be like other men,"
Judges xvi. II.
Hair on man or brute Is q sign Of
strength. He who desires to keep at a
safe distance from dentists. let him
keep also at a great distance from the
knife Of the barber. To shave Is an act
against nature. Provoke nature. and
In return nature will provoke you.
Said Daniel Webster: g. the razor:
II has taught me to curse. 1t has cost
me more time and more trouble than
al my speeches"
Rufus Choate. the lawyer. called the
rasor an instrument invented by Lu-
cifer to fill up hell with barristers.
Edward Everett never used profane
language. but before shaving he would
Invariably give vent to all sorts Of
French barbarisms.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1907-09-12
He Got the 1reut.

A story dealing with large trout
that was rising regularly and frequent.
ly is told in How to Fish: A Treatise
on Trout and Trout Fishers" This Is
the story:
HE was going up and down. up and
down. up and down: not as the insects
offered themselves, but as It suited bis
composure thet be should take midge
from tho abundance. One youth was
casting at the trout: another was look
ing on. Said the angler. I'll have that
fsh whether he takes 1t or not
'Howy his friend asked. I'll throw
the fly into his mouth Ths trout
went on rising; the angler went on
casting. I perceived the anglers no.
ton. It was that II be kept casting
accurately and the trout continued to
rise In the regular manner mentioned.
the fly would ere long fall at the very
moment when a midge was being
taken. This reckoning was justified.
The large trout was hooked and land
ed by fly that had been cast into his
mouth"
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1907-09-12
Codced the Mustard Pot.

Durin. the rehcarsals Of panto-
mime il Scottish town Glasgow. J
think: Glasgow has always been Al
eveatful place u n:eI Il child Tas
wanted for the Spirit Of the Mustard
rot What more natural than that ;cy
father should offer my services? ! had
shock Of pale yellow hair. was
small enough to be put Into the pop
erty mustard put. and the Glasgow
stage manager would easily assume
that had Inherited talent My father
had acted with Macready In the stock
seasons both at Edinburgh and Glas-
gov and bore a very high reputation
with Scottish audiences But the stage
manager and father alike reckoned
without their actress! When they tiled
TO put me into the mustard pot I yelled
Justify and showed more lung power
hsn aptitude for the stage.
"Put your child into the mustard pot
Mr.. Terry" said the stage manager.
Hang you and your mustard pot
SIR" said my mortified father. II won't
frighten my child for you or any one
else"
But, all the same. he was bitterly dig
appointed at my first dramatic failure.
and when we reached home he put me
In the corner to chasten me. You'll
never make an actress" he said, shak-
Ing a reproachful finger at me.-Ellen
Terry in McClure's Magazine.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1907-09-12
a Kind Examiner.

Sir John StliEer was dearly loved by
the students when he was professor OF
music ut Oxford. ".iS an examiner he
was most consilerata." said one who
studied under him. and would always
do his best to get you through | re-
member his asking me a poser in a
viva voce examination. He waited pa
ticntly for the answer: but. partly
through my nervousness no doubt. |
could not think Of 1t. At length he
exclaimed testify. Dear me, how stuffy
this room is, to be sure and he went
and began tugging at the ventilator
cord. 1t was quite two minutes be-
fore he got the thing open, and by the
time be had sat down again and rear
ranged his gown I had the answer
ready. Comparing notes later In the
day with a man who was examined
quite soon after me. told him how
the ventilator had served me. How
remarkable he replied. Why. when
I was stuck he said, "How extraor-
dfnary drafy this place Is" and spent
quite two minutes In shutting the ven
tilator.'" '"-Manchester Guardian.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1907-09-12
A considsrate Musician.

Many stories are told Of the Jealousy
and I'll feeling among musicians. SO 1t
Is refreshing to note that at least one
genius did not fail In good natured ap-
probation Of fellow artist. 1t Is re-
lated how Rossini. walking one day on
the boulevard with the musician B-a-
ga. was greeted by Meyerbecr. who
anxlously inquired after the health OF
bis dear ROssini.
Bad" answered the latter. Fright
full headaches. legs al wrong.
After n few minutes conversation
Meyerbeer passed on. and Braga asked
the great composer how 1t happened
that he had suddenly become SO un-
we'll
Smflingly Rossfnt reassured his
friend. "Oh. couldn't be better. l
merely wanted to please Meyefoeer.
He would 30 Ike to see me 60 to
smash.'-St. Louis Republic.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1907-09-12

A New York scientist the father OF
q large and growing family. has bis
troubles. One evening his youngest
was holding forth IN her best style.
The mother could do nothing with the
child, 50 the man Of science went to
the rescue.
II think l can quiet little Flora he
said. There's no use humming to her
In that silly way. What she wants Is
real music. The fact that l used to
sing in the glee club at Yale and sing
we'll, too. may make difference
Accordingly. the professor took the
child and, sriding up and down the
room, sang in bis best manner. he
had not finished the second verse Of bis
song when a ring was heard. The
door was opened. and there stood girl
of fourteen, who said:
I'm one Of the family that's just
moved into the dat next to yours.
There's q sick person with Us, and he
says, II it's all the same to you, would
you mind letting the baby cry instead
Of singing to itT-Success.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1907-09-12
A Crocodile Ia q Irss.

An African hunter once found q
large crocodile hanging In the fork OF
a tree about ten feet from the ground.
As the place was fully half a mile
from any water. 1t was difacult to ac-
count for the crocodile's strange POSI-
ton. When questioned upon the sub
ject, the natives explained that It was
put there by an elephant. 1t seems
that when the elephants wade into the
Lake Ngami to bathe the crocodiles are
In the habit Of worrying them and BIT
ing their legs Sometimes when an
elephant is annoyed beyond endurance
1t picks up its torrnentor In Its trunk,
puts 1t among the branches OF tree
and leaves it there.-London Graphic.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1907-09-12
Trees and the Air.

According to a reliable computation
a single tree is able through It's leaves
to purify the air from the carbonic acid
arising from the respiration Of con-
siderable number Of men. as many as
a dozen or a score. The volume OF
carbonic acid exhaled by human be-
ing In the course Of twenty-four hours
"a estimated at 100 gallons, and SIN
gle square yard Of leaf surface. count
Ing both the upper and under sides OF
the leaves, can decompose about a
GALLON Of carbonic acid In a day.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1907-09-12
Why They're Trans Abroad.

Abroad" said a tourist agent you
must can street cars trans and street
railways you must call tramways. II
you speak Of trolIeys over there, you
won't be understood. The word uem
must puzzle the average e0moaogise
II derives from q mans name-Oudam
Thomas Outram. Outram lived IN
Derbyshire. and In the beginning OF
the last century be invented q peculiar
sort OF track that diminished the frie-
ton between wheels and roadbeds.
These tracks Of Outram's, though notn-
ing like q trolley track. were called
frst outramways, then tramways. and
when street lines and street cars came
into existence they were dubbed 70
spectively tamways and trans"
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1907-09-12
The lea prixNr.

The life Of a river log driver is life
that seems to get hold Of one after a
year or two. You are generally wet
through for twelve hours out OF the
twenty.four. Ten Of you sleep In a
Il by Is foot shanty; you live
on fried everything, "black strap"
treacle and steved tea. You 60 to bed
at 10 and get up at 8. You are ever
lastingly cursed and never praised By
the foreman. Your Life is In danger
more or less all day, long. and you
never get more than $3o a month for
work that is worth 500. Then why
stick at it?" you say. and all / can
answer Is, Gust give 1t a fair trial
for a year, and then you'll know.
Wide World Magazine.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1907-09-12
irsscibjs Carlyle.

A lady who lived near Thomas Car
lyle kept Cochin China fowls. and tneu
Growing was such nuisance that the
philosopher sent a complaint to her.
The owner was indignant upon hear
ing the appeal.
"Why," said she. "they crow only
four times a day. and how can Mr.
Carlyle be seriously annoyed at thatF
Upon hearing Of her attitude upon
the subject Carlyle replied. "The lady
forgets the pain I suffer In waiting for
those four Crows"
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1907-09-12
Once Too Often.

"What's all this excitement about!
Nothing worth mentioning. Man
got knocked down"
Accident"
sNot exactly. One Of these men VINO
always catch hold Of you and push you
out of their way when you happen to
meet them at a crowded corner grab
bed the wrong man Just now. That's
all."-Chicago Tribune.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1907-09-12
&uaaflatiNes.

DR.. johnson says In his Grammar Of
the English Tongue" "The comparison
Of adjectives Is very uncertain and.
being much regulated by commodious-
ness Of utterance, is not easily re.
duced to rules"
Then he quotes passages from para
disc Lost" in which the words "virtu,
ousest" and "powerfullest" are found
and a passage from Samson Agon'
istes" which contains the word ia
mousest."
Surely Milton had IN ear.-Notes and
Queries.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1907-09-12

THANK you, son." said old Tightast
to the boy who had run several blocks
on an errand for him. Here's a penny
fur ye."
Don't tempt me. guv'ner," said the
bright boy. "If was ter take all DAT
money 1 might buy auto Wild 1t an
git pinched for scorchin'. '.'-Philadel-
phfa Press.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1907-09-12
Saving Time.

Father to his son, early in the morn
ing)-What is the meaning Of this?
You are lying b bed with your clothes
on. Son "a student)-Yes, father. do
that so that If oversleep myself /
shall not be late at college.-Meggen-
dorfer Batter.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1907-09-12
Touch Fare.

In New Zealand town one OF the
municipal candidates, pronounced
Scotsman. had received present Of a
huge Scotch thistle, which at the mo-
ment happened to be lying on the ta-
bic Of his committee room. A friend,
entering. withdrew suddenly. with the
remark: 81 beg your pardon. I didn't
know you were at luncheon"
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1907-09-12
A lnacy.

"What's your fareT' asked old Flint.
skin of his cabby the other day and
was met with the stereoVped reply:
"Well, sir, I viii leave that to you"
Thank you, you are very kind" SAID
old Fltntskin, buttoning up hts pockets
and walking OF. You're the drst per
son who ever left me anything yet
London Mail.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1907-09-12
INGENIOUS.

Servant Ito artist returning from a
holiday>-There have been 80 many
callers since you left that have been
obliged to wash the names from the
slate twice to make room for others
Pearson's Weekly.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1907-09-12
Missed Vocation,

Client-Didn't you make a mistake
in going into law instead Of the army
Lawyer-Why? Client-By the way
YOU charge there would be little left
Of the enemy.-London Tit-Bits.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1907-09-12
Whist 10 the Answer

SheLThat Is a woman whom envy,
and. curious as 1t may seem. she en-
yies me. He-How can that be2 She
We we're both after the same man
and I married you.-ulustrated Btu.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1907-09-12
Torture.

A .shrewd old doctor once said: "If
wanted to torture an enemy, would
tell him he had an incurable disease.
His life would be miserable. and he
would be almost certain to die before
his time"
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1907-09-12
Hard Luck.

Mrs, Dash-Mother says that she
wants to be cremated. Dash-Just my
luck. I haven't match with me-
Smart Set
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1907-09-12

Rash presumption Is ladder which
will break the mounter's neck.-Ger-
man Proverb.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1907-06-26
DEAD SEA BATHING.

mo sooner has one plunged into
the water of the Dead sea, than one
is whipped off ones feet and goes
bobhling helplessly about like
wretched cork" says the Rev. Haskett
Smith of bathing in the Dead sea.
I'm the effort to regain ones footing
and to get back to shore, ones feet
and shins are barked by the Jagged
stones and pebbles, and when at
length one does emerge from its
treacherous bosom, with the lower
limbs bleeding and torn, one becomes
aware of a horrible tingling and
burning sensation in eyes, ears, nos
trils, mouth and almost every pore
of the skin from the brine and btu
men which have penetrated every
where.
Unless great care is taken the bath
er in the Dead sea is liable to an
eruption which breaks out all over
his body and which is commonly
known as the Dead sea rash The
best antidote to this is to hurry across
as quickly as possible to the River
Jordan and take a second plunge
therein. The soft muddy waters of
THAT sacred but dirty stream will eff
fectually remove the salt that has in
crustcd the body"
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1907-06-26
SKETCH OF LORD KELVIN.

william Thomson, Lord Kelvin,
who is regarded as the greatest liv-
ing scientist in Great Britain today,
was born in Glasgow, June 26, 1924.
lie received his early training from
his father, who had raised himself
from a humble position to a profess
sor of mathematics at Glasgow uni
versity. William afterward studied
at st. Peters college, Cambridge,
where he won the highest mathemat-
ical honors. At 22 years Of age he
became a professor at Glasgow uni
vcrsity and for over half century
remained a professor of natural his
tory at that institution.
Among Lord Kelvin's great works
may be mentioned his invention of
the siphon recorder for ocean teleg-
raphy; his fathering of the ocean
cable; his practical application of the
time limits within which geologists
and biologists should confine their
evolutionary application, which linn
tied tine age of the earth to mil
lon years, period Of time former
ly regarded as a second in the geo.
logical day; his invention of the mir
ror galvanometer and mis- navigation
al sounding machine and depth re-
corder.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1907-06-26
coNsULs ARE GRAFTERs C?).

The merchants of La Paz, Bolivia,
are vigorously against the abuses by
certain foreign diplomats residing
there, who, taking advantage of the
privileges granted them under inter-
national law, import large quantities
of furniture and other articles for
business purposes without paying
customs duties or any other taxes,
enabling them to sell their goods at
ridiculously low prices, thus hurting
the regular merchants trade and en-
dangering the legitimate interests of
the nation.
Feeling is running high against NJ.
Rousseau, the French minister, on
account of current reports that in
the short two months he has resided
in La Paz he has imported and sold
large quantities of furniture, pre-
serves and other articles, disposing
in a single day of goods valued at
$4,000. 1t takes the average mer-
chant months to sell that amount.
The merchants met recently and
adopted a resolution to expose any
foreign diplomat who hereafter COM
petes with them.
The proper authorities have been
given orders to land free Of duty and
taxes 200 cases from New York and
five from London containing furni-
ture and other articles for the per-
| sonal use of William S. Sorsby, the
American minister to Bolivia.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1907-06-26
NOTES ABOUT NINE TINIBERING

Mine timbers should always be
stripped of their bark before being
placed underground, There are al
ways insects in the bark, and these
soon penetrate the solid wood. If
the bark be allowed to remain on the
log, q few months will see the stick
so badly weakened by the boring of
the insects and the rapid decay in
duced by the covering of the bark
that the timber will be useless. Tim
bers should be cut in winter, when
the sap is down, peeled at once and
then seasoned for several months be-
fore being sent underground.
Oak lasts well in mines, either wet
or dry, and "bulr' or pinlon pine is
very durable, more so than yellow
or sugar pine. Redwood, is pretty
good timber If it is not placed in a
position where it is required to sus-
tain too great a load.
Often mines are timbered far more
extensively than necessary. l have
seen many sets standing in large
Slopes where there was not the
slightest sign of weight on the tim
bers and where another method OF
mining requiring a far less amount
of timber might have been introduce
ed with success, and saving of much
money to the owners. Elaborate tim
bering is habit with the miner and
if he does not know any other meth
cd of removing ore with safety he will
use the timber if it is available.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1907-06-26
GOVERNMENT TO BLAME.

Recently the Burlington railroad
rebated the government with about
100000 overcharged for carrying
the United States mail. 1t was herald
ed over the country that this was
voluntary return of money fraudu-
lently taken from the government,
but the Salem Journal takes a differ
ent view of the subject. In a recent
editorial the Journal aptly says of
the matter:
No matter from what standpoint
the so-called reforms of the postal
department in the matter of carrying
the mails are viewed, they will be
accepted as a confession that for fully
35 years congress and the executive
branch of the government have made
no attempt to prevent the robbery OF
the people by the transportation COM
panies.
The fraudulent methods Of weigh
ing the mails, the correction of which
Il is said will reduce transportation
charges IA per cent, has been a mat
ter Of common notoriety for over a
quarter OF a century.
The San Francisco Chronicle and
other newspapers pointed out the ma.
ture of the frauds and their magni-
tude, but congress and the postal au.
thorities paid no attention to their
charges.
Under the circumstances It is colos.
sal effrontery to make the claim that
the steps so tardily taken to put ar
end to the cheating should be regard
ed as a voluntary reform.
It is wholly compulsory and the de-
partment could not get out Of making
It because It has been Caught will
the goods on its person."