The Washington times., 1907-12-08
GRLDLRON CLUB DIMES
AMID MANY GAY SONGS,
AND SALLLES FLY FA ST

Mr.. Bryce. the British Ambassador,
with a chorus that went as follows:
Mister Bryce. Bryce, Bryce is the wise
Living here in Washington in u. S.A.
As an Engl!shnan he is bst OF all,
Knows just what to do and what to
say.
Anything at all that you'd like to know
He Will tell you In a monent. he's
so nice
For he's here to represent the King;
We bet that he knows everything,
This wise old Mister Bryce.
I When the applause that greeted Mr..
| Bryce's speech died down, the great,
spectacular. one-ring circus performance
was pulled off amid thunderous ap-
plause. 1t had been announced as the
japanese wrestling stunt" As a mat
ter OF fact. it was a thing Of beauty
and joy forever. 1t was a revelation
in the possible lines OF the human form.
1t was poetic; it was dreamy; it was
a scream that lifted the roof off.
The Marine Band played an air from
The Aikado." Gridiron Thompson an
nounced that Hitachiyama, the famous
| Jap wrestler, was without and craved
| admission. They let him in. tall
man whom many recognized as a we'll
known newspaper man. strobe in at
I tired in a dressing gown.
He mounted a chair and threw aside
the robe. disclosing his form artisicaIly
revealed by pink tights. Florenz Zieg-
field, who knows a lot about putting
| chorus girls before the public attrac-
lively, and who was present. said the
form in those tights was a wonder. But
/ for its expansiveness. the spectators
would have thought It Venus de Milo
come back to life. But, owing to it's
/ size. they thought It looked something
/ Ike a bull, with some features that
gave It a decided resemblance 10 a
! flour barrel.
Proposed Victims Decline.
! President Blythe. tearing his eyes
! from feasting on such physical perfec-
/ tiOn, invited DR.. D. Percy Hickling,
Senator Kittredge. and Senator Knox
/ TO meet the Jap IN a wrestling match.
| But they were wise and declined the
| honor. Hitachiyama. therefore, with
drew after saiaamfng to the japanese
| ambassador.
Somebody said the wrestler looked
! like John Corwin. but somebody else
| said the tights weren't made that could
| get on the outside OF John Corwin.
dis identity, therefore, remained 4
meter Of doubt.
Then came the nature taking" stunt
1t was a marvel in mental gymnastics.
| Gridironcrs Coolidge, Oulahan, and
| Bennett performed the show. Coolidge
/ came in ringing a bell and calling for
| the class In natural history. Oulahan
anc Bennett took their places as the
class. Here is a part of the lesson
they recited In natural history"
| ca familiar nature fake is Santa
Claus. Is there any such person as
/ Santa Claus?
| Ono; Santa Claus has been super
seded by George B. CortelyOu.
C.-Who said that?
| O.-Tne New York bankers.
CT will now call your attention to
the mastodOn.
B.-What's a mastodon?
! C.-An extinct animal. Can you name
any other extinct species?
B.-Malefactors Of great wealth--since
the panic
! C.-Now. children. what is a miser?
B.-A mfser IS a man who catches
mice.
Ono such thing! A miser is a man
who noards money.
B.-Huh, that amt miser. That's a
banker,
C.-Is Senator Knox's Presidential
boom a nature fake2
Ono; it's a Penrose fake.
C.-Two very interesting terms are
mOllycOddle and mllksop. What are
milksops and mollycoddles?
B.-Everybody who wasn't a Rough
Rider.
B.--I heard there's rats in the White
House garnet.
C.-who told you that?
B-A man in Wall street.
C.-Let US discuss the eagle on the new
ten-dolIar gold piece.
O.-That amt an eagle. That's a
stork.
B.-Weu. ST. Gaudens put it there.
| O.-That's the new motto.
| C.-what's the new motto?
| OFF that thing is an eagle the motto
is in st. Gaudens we trust"
B-Teacher, was that story about
| George Washington throwing a silve
dollar across the river a nature fake
! C.-I think not. Why do you ask7
BIT amt so much. COrtelyou threw
| 90 .OOO, 600 across to Wall Street.
| O.-Was the story Of the 100000 con,
spiracy to defeat the President thaf
came out at Senator Bourne's dinner
a nature fake7
c. Cseverely)-Thats a question for tn,
class in physiology.
! O.-Why the class in physiology?
| C.-Because that's where we discuss
/ 41,a ofFaCtc Of
| O.-Somebody told me clearing house
certificates are nature fakes.
B.-Tain't so. They're financial fakes
Teacher, have you heard about the
old gray wolves of the Senate?
n C.-Yes; have often heard Of Colone
Watterson's designation of the Senators
!; as old gray wolves.
B.-Do you suppose a gray wolf o.
the Senate could DO like W. ]. Long.
wolf and bite a deer in. the chest?
! O.-Pshaw. Il Senator wouldn't d,
that 70 dear
President trapping sharply for order)-
, This class in natural history is getting
D too personal. It is dismissed.
8 Cortelyou Was Next.
Being newspaper men who know pol
I