Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-03-02
Getting Married as an Art.
:. r. ELDER

Girls have an eXaSperatlng way of
ma king unhappy marriages. great
many of them do not make such mar
rages but that there are many who do
is too patent to admit of contradiction.
The evidence is Drima facie and if other
evidence could be gathered it would he
found that the number unhappily we'd
ded is much larger than surface indica-
tons show. | speak only of the kind of
eases in which men are to blame for the
unhappineSs. that is, of cases ii which
men are the immediate cause of the I'M
happiness. for if we Were to go farther
back it would have to be admitted that
the girls are in very many cases them
selves to blame for the primal msta Ike
of marrying men of Il kind to make them
unhappy.
As Il member of the universal brother
hOod-aS brother. therefore. of all girls
this proneness of girls to choose the
wrong man has panied me not a little.
and has caused me to east about for Il
possible remedy. OF course. Il universal
remedy, an absolute preventive, is not 10
be had. Even il it were. girls would not
take" it. Some, at least would argue:
better marry unhappily than not 10 mar
ry at all. Yet for the benefit OF those
amcnable to good advice. it seems to me
there is something to be said, that, while
not especially new. may be iterated with
profit
And the result of my brotheriy cogi-
tations along this line runs somewhat as
follows: Let every girl, as Il part Of her
education. be encouraged TO develop Il
fad" an avocation such as may be-
come. if need be. u Noeation not some
thing frivolous and trivial. but some
thing worthy of genuine affection on the
part of the girl. and something that will
appeal to the interest of Il large number
Of her fellow beings This fad-poorly So
calied-ShOuld be in line with the bent of
the mind and heart. 50 that every bit Of
the effort of both mind and heart eX-
pended on il may be given with thor
ougu sense of JOY. 1T should also be inn
pouant enough and big enough to absorb
large amount of attention without be
coming a burden.
The arts suggest themselves at once as
fields for such fads. and they are fruitful
fields for those who can enter them. but
they are not open to all, and they usually
demand more attention than one expects
to give to Il fad \ simpler suggestion
as ali example is the growing of flowers
or getables-gardening To one who
has bent in this direction the field is
without limit. Let one become absorbed
IN such work. not with serious intent
hut purely for the pleasure of it. and its
possibilities are almost endless: and then
II 1t becomes necessary to make Il Ser-
Gus business of anything, the garden
gate stands wide Open
To the sister who asks what such a
fad has to do with saving one from an
unWisp marriage. the reply is: 1t gives
diversion: il gives the mind something
wholesome to employ itself upon. some
thing that brings JOY and serenity of
mind and fills the life, so that he who
would diSplace even portion of the in
l.
genuine worth. But it does more than
that; it gives the girl who cultivates it
sense of security, feeling that she has
provided against possible need in the
future, No such fad lovingly followed
can fail to offer. if the need comes OPP
portunities for sef-support, and. what
is more. self-Support with JOY in the
winning of it. A girl so equipped is in
no danger of marrying just in order to
make sure Of a living. The life offered
10y sutton, in any event, must have sub
Stantial advantages over that she can
make for herself.
Cupid she may say. has been left out
of these sage calculations. Not at all!
But Cupid is prevented from acting too
hastily if there is weIl-loyed fad rs a
factor for him to reckon with. Such a
fad is a shield against the sly little god 5
darts and arts.
4 family known to me-a familv Of
four charming daHghters-sug@ests itself
- case in point. All four of the girls
have had unhappy experiences with men.
Fortunately only one married before il
was too late. before the real character
Of the man in the case was disclosed.
The trouble was thu girls had nothing
10 absorb tG"ir minds. though an were
capable they were brought up Ike Idle
princes~cs to w;it each for her Prince
Charming. Expectancy naturally threw
a Glamur about the nrSt Impressive strau-
gers who came along and IN tine eyes
of the girls they became the looked-for
princes. Had the girls looked nj affairs
with minds used 10 wholesome tasks and
sane devotion to Ideals the bogus princes
would have mad more difficulty in at
tracing their attention and would have
been valued a their true wsrth Il good
deal sooner than they were and the girls
would have been saved needless pain and
notifications The Home Magazine.