The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-04-11
SOME NEWSPAPER
CHAFF.
Sten along and testify:

NHtlntl gbu lt u AAilhhNl'lf
Whether you're a sage.
Follow IL this rather queer
Custom of the age.
Put your photograph in print;
Send 1t through the land.
Let the public take a squint
At your features bland.
Tell exactly. what you earn.
Likewise what you owe;
Step along and take you turn,
The people want to kno.
Washington Star.
Thank you very much for the can
dy. Aunt Mary" said Arthur.
oh" said Aunt Mary, don't men
tion it, Arthur
''But mamma told me to. Aunt
Maryn'-Lippincott's.
Papa. God reads the same papers
we do, doesn't hp?" what makes you
think so, little one?" I'VE learned It
in Sunday school, The Times are in
His hands New York Sun.
The Rev. Francis NJ. Kielty, rector
of the Church OF the Holy Angels, ST.
Louis. who died recently. was a good
deal of a wit, says an exchange. Faith
er Kielty began his sermon one Sun
day morning by announcing in a voice
full Of pathos that he had a confession
to make. 81 might as well make
clean breast of IT," he said. As the
congregation gasped he waved in the
air a document, signed and sealed 70
resemble an order Of court. "Yes.
mean It," he continued. as If to kill
any lingering doubts, and then, point
ing through one Of the stained win
dows. continued: "That alley out
there has been paved and the city has
sued me for the alley money."-Kan.
sas City Star.
Senator Penrose was discussing
Phladelphia's need of a deeper chan
mel in the Delaware for ships. You
know" he said, how often ships get
stuck in the mud OF the Delaware now
Actually. TO traverse that difficult
stream with impunity you need as
light draught as they require on the
Cape May thoroughfares Amazed at
the way we skinned through creeks
but an inch or two deep. I said to a
Cape May skipper one day: I suppose.
captain, that you think nothing Of sail
ing across the meadows when there's
been heavy fall of dew? Right you
are said the captain, though occa-
sionally we have to send a man ahead
with a watering can. "-Argonaut.
-
The helplessness OF some women of
the poorer classes in the matter of
feeding babies was brought out at the
coroner's court at Leigh. says The
Dundee Advertiser. 4 child of years
had been killed by a meal of liver
and bacon and beef steak. and the
mother could not realize that there was
anything extraordinary in the diet
Medical men who practice in Ancoats
wage continuous battle against this
sort of thing, and one of them, at a
meeting of the Ancoats Healthy
Homes Society, told some experiences
that would have been amusing If they
had not so grim a Significance. Il was
called one day. he said, "to see {
sick baby, and found the mother feed
ing 1t with little pieces of corneC
beef. My good woman | said, 'yo,
must not feed the baby with that sor
of stuff Well, sir. she replied, 'wha
am to feed him with? lie doesn't lik'
pork Exchange.
=
Now, look here" emphatically re
marked the big, pompous-looking cha
who was about TO take seat in tn
BARRIERS chair, Il don't want wor
out of you"
"But-but-" began the barber.
Not a word, told you" interrupt
ed the customer. Il want n shave an
a shampoo and chance to meditat
over the many crimes | have commi
ted. I've had to murder eighteen bal
bers so far because they talked to
much, and | hope you won't be tn
next victim. Get busy"
The barber got busy" and he neve
once opened his mouth while at worl
After a refreshing shave and shampo'
the big customer was feeling in bette
spirits, and as he tipped the barber
dime he apologetically said:
Excuse my bluntness son as | ri