The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-08-06
DRIFT WOOD
BY PHIL q. ARMSTRONG.


 In New York there is woman who can carry on four conversations at one tfmes as if one were not too much for the average man to listen to; however, we presume she is president of some whist club.
 Says The Washington Post: If wal ter Wellman fails to locate the north pole he may settle down and be con- tent with annually visiting the election As he is in balloon 1t is more than : likely that he will settle down" and that. too. to Mother Earth.
 A Denver man has been arrested for taking. up too much room in street car. However the end-seat hog still hourisheth in Montgomery.
 The scientist who says we think with our toes must be smitten on some young woman in the chorus.
 Overheard.
 You should never let a day go by without" here the romantic spinster hesitated for a word
 T never," interrupted the Fresh Young-Man who bought fruit every af- ternoon for the landlady's daughter, T never let a dago by without buying And then he wondered why nobody
 ,+ +
 Down in the mouth is not so com mon with college boys as down on the mouth. which they think is mustache enough to be shaved:
 All the world loves a lover to spend his dough.
 f It's the nice cold snap we're not hav- ing now.
 A Woman Always Does.
 "Skinum & Cheatham have a lovely Annie Laurie"
 Thanks. Maud; think I'll look into Girls like to be engaged so they can do like they do.
 Sometimes you see a girl with beautiful waist-there's no getting around 1t. Oh. yes. but there is, If you The milk of human kindness wouldn't sour half so quickly if everybody wasn't so partial to the lemon crop. There were no invitations to the wedding" says a country exchange "only a few of the brides near rela- tives being present"
  Oh, of course you can be among ''the beach.
 The funny thing about America is that here we never know whether great man is going to get tablet tn the Hall of Fame ar cell in the psdi- tentiary.
 MT. Rockefeller says true success lies in doing good. Judge Lands seems to have reciprocated with $2s,- 100000 lemon. Kissing will remove freckles, says scientist Now we are rackfng our brain thinking of all the girls afflicted with this kind of beauty whom we have met. and would request that the same answer this advertisement imme- diately.
 A Kansas farmer has just sold his whiskers for ss. The weather condi- that grand old commonwealth the whiskers will always flourish
 Just for our own information, does The Houston Post paragrapher write cook books on the sideY
 Can women be angelsT' asks The Charleston News and Courier
 Alabama women can--when they want to make touch.
 Henry, James says American girls are elusive. Whats the matter, Hen. been trying to flrt with some of themY
 Girl. What is 1t makes the world go 'roundT What sells the candy by the pound?
 (Girl What makes US act the luny loon, And go round whistlin' of tune, And talk mush talk beneath the moon!
 (Same thing) What makes a fellow spend his doushf Why is it into debt nell go'
 (Girl.)
 What makes him happy, sad by turns, Why is it that he yearns and yearns To part with every cent he earns!
 (The cause above mentioned') What is the balm for all life's hnrts7 Who makes us jealous when she hirtsg Who tells us that she loves but us? Who likes to make up and to russ Who says. aoh stop-my hair youh
 mussg
 (See above.)