Mower County transcript., 1907-06-05

FAkMEk BENS
COLUMN
I'm nifty glad to see that the railroads
are slowin' up leetle on their killin'
time tables. The fastest run between
Chicago and Omaha has ben lengthen-
ed two hours and between Chicago
and Denver over fsur hours. I reckon
it won't make so much real differ as
the fast schedules are never kept up to
and trains on 'em are alwus late and
lots of time miss connections. With
the rotten rails the trust is now maxim
there amt any safety in travelin' fast,
and nifty little in travelin' slow. The
other day, the fast limited between
New York and Chicago broke twenty
rails on single run. Just think OF
twenty liabilities to death in just one
trip. 1t makes your hair stand. It's
high time that this over hurry business
quit. It looks like every body was
afraid they'd lose a mint If they
didn't rush at break neck speed. i
spose that fifty miles hour on rail-
road is about eleven times as danger
GUS as twenty miles an hour. The fast
trains must everlastingly pound the
rails to get there. I'd ruther go slower
and be sure of gettin' there than to be
more than half certain that my bones
would be broken and my head smashed.
I'm nifty glad that the Vassar college
grads, 1853 young women, after four
years of isms and ologies, hav decided
to eschew silks and satins at graduatin'
exercises and will wear plain white
dresses in the interest of simplicity
It's high time to put stop to the ex'
travagance slung on lots of commence
ment times when rivalry for grad.
gowns has ben keen and snowy and
girls of slender purse hav wept bitter
tears over their inability to compete
with those of unlimited means. con-
gratulate the Vassar girls on their un-
common good sense and their demo-
cratic spirit. Before now, I've seen
parents strain and sacrifice and 60 be-
yond their means to rig out their chill
tiren so as to keep up with the fools
who think that the richer they're
dressed the smarter they look when
it's just the opposite. Smartness is in.
side the head and not outside in rib
bons and finery and display: wish
that all girl grads who can afford to
civ unlimited orders to the modistes
and dressmakers would hav heart enuf
and sense enuf to dress simply and
neatly and set the gait for the whole
class to look alike.
Up to Fergus Falls they're doin' up
this dog business about rite. The city
council has passed an ordinance pro-
vidin' that all dogs shall be licensed
and better than that all dogs shall be
kept on the owners premises. Any
one allowln' dog to run at large is
liable to fine of $50 or imprisonment
and any dog runnin' at large is to be
pounded. It's just the proper caper
for dogs. I'd like to know what rite
one has to let his dog run all over your
yard, foulin' and mussin' and trampin'
and diggin' and destroyin'. You
wouldn't let a horse or cow or chickens
do this on your premises rite along
without trouble. Besides these miser-
able ours runnin' at large are alwus
liable to chaw up our children and take
a piece out of adult legs same as dog
chawed child's face up to school not
long ago. The dog nuisance is gettin'
intolerable. If anybody wants the vile
beasts let him keep 'em strictly on bis
own premises, make yard for 'em to
run in and enjoy 'em to their hearts
content, but not let 'em run all over to
the danger and damage OF everybody
else.
& o o O.
; tell you it made my old eyes weep
Memorial day to see those noble young
men and women from the college in
the parade, the young men bearin' the
flag and the young women designing
out the a. A. r. 1t showed that they
had patriotism enuf to get out and
show honor to the old soldiers dead and
alive who defended the flag in time OF
secession and traitory. I spose that
there were some young folks up to Aus.
tin who didn't wish to get out and