davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29
LIFE AT MuLpooN's sANlTARIUM

From the New York Press.
 Of the methods of Muldoon, the man who is making Root well, Ebert Hub bard has written: "The keynote of the whole thing is obedience. It Is necessary to suhjugate the will of the patient. Par adoxically, you have to kill a mans will in order to build him up. The whip method of breaking horses Is along the same line." In every detail life in the sanitarium which stands on the crest of a hill overlooking from the front of the estate of Ambassador Reid, Is military in it's exactness. On arrival, the patient Is taken to his rom, small affair, hav- ing a little table. a little chair a little bed; that's all The routine begins each day at 6, when all hands are routed out. A bath, a rubdown and breakfast come piling along, and at the squad, usually about twenty-five strong, mounts horses and takes a ride, generally for two or three hours. The suave Muldoon sug- gests that the men take a stroll for a bit through the fields. When they return back home results. The novices some times kick the veterans never. They know better. There is dinner at F, q walk across country in the afternoon, boxing, work in the gymnasium and a short rest to fill the time until supper. At o'clock every one must be in bed
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29
Openinu The Cahaba

The house and senate and Governor Comer will, when Congress meets, formally ask it 10 dredge and clean put the Cahaba river from its mouth to Centreville, and to survey the river from Centrevile to the mouth of Schultz creek, and from Schultz creek to some point to be designated by the surveyors, the object being to give slackwater navigation to the coal seams of Bibb county. The memorial will be laid before Congress, and the first steps for barging coal from Bloc ton will thus have been taken.
 Congressman Underwood appreci- ates to the fullest extent the value of an Open Cahaba, and he promises the people along that river that he will Introduce and push bill providing for a survey of it in accordance with the legislative memorial. Senators Bankhead and Johnston also promise to do all in their power to carry for ward the project of opening the Ca haba 10 slackwater navigation.
 The Cahaba flows directly from the Cahaba coal field in Bibb county to the Alabama river, which it empties into at point not far below Selma No great expense would render the river navigable to Centreville, and perhaps half dozen locks and dams would be needed above Centreville. The feasi- Witty and desirability of an Open Ca
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29
A RATTLESNAkE FALLAcY,

trOUl the WdSnlIStOh FOSL.
 "There has existed for many years In the west popular superstition among cowboys and other men who ride the range that a rattlesnake will never crawl across hair rope" said Morris Bald win. business man of Phoenix, Artz., at the St. James hotel. last night.
 "Of all nature faker' stories, this is one of the most colossal, for a rattle- snake will no more be deterred by a hair rope than by the bushes around his nest. Of course the cowboy does not mind a rattlesnake much, anyhow, but when he has to spend the night in the open. he frequently takes the precaution of en- circllng his camp with a rope of this de- scription, and then goes to sleep with a quiet mind. The rattler is not much of a night prowler, and does not disturb him, although he may have heard dozen during the day. He attributes his safety to the rope. and for this reason that method of preventing snake bites haa come to be tradition among tho cow punchers.
 q often wonder whether there was any truth in this story, for many night have been almost too tired to take out my rope and stretch 1t about my bed. I was never in a position to make the test until I began talking of the super stition with a friend of mine who is connected with the New York ZOO. He had a hair rope and we decided to try It on the snakes in the reptile house We shut the building up and make circle of rope on the floor and put seven different species of rattlesnakes within the charmed circle. Every one of them crawled over 1t as if 1t was not there. Since then I have lost faith in it's pro ...;,-o pauars
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29
Misuse of Words.

q ordered roast lamb and was given mutton; ordered chicken and was given-I don't know what, but judging by the bones 1t might have been an ostrich." said an Englishman recently arrived in America.
 q have a great admiration for many things I see in this country, but must say it Is a downright imposition on foreigner to mislead him in matters of diet, especially when plain and sim pie words are diverted from their true meaning as given in the dictionaries in general use. O chicken Is a young fowl, emphasis on the adjective, and a lamb is young sheep. Youth is the essential qualification in each case, but that qualification Is not considered in the kitchen or meat market.
 Another word that set me think ing when I first heard 1t used was rock A boy said he was struck by a rock and yet lived to tell the tale. Referring to the dictionary again l found the word rock defined as being a large. fixed stone or crag,' and how one boy could hur1 a rock and another
 
 comprehension.
 Take the word mean as another illustration of the misuse of common words. We hear people say that fel- low Is mean when they intend to con vey the idea that he is quarrelsome others will speak of mean whisky to express it's bad quality, and still again a person will say he feels mean when he feels sick. So far as my searches have gone I find none of these mean ings given in the dictionary.
 These are but few of the perver- sions of language which puzzle for eigner and they indicate total ab- sence of the accuracy in speech which Is always the indication of good edu- cation. If the advocates of simpllfied spelling would promote the purity of language. literature would be benefited beyond measure"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29
AUNT MARTs GLORIOUS FINISH.

From LlpponoottS Magazine.
 A dear old New England spinster, the embodiment of the tfnid and shrinking, passed away at Carlsbad where she had gone for her health Her nearest kinsman. a nephew, or dered her body sent back to be buried as was her last wish-in the quiet little country churchyard. His sur prise can be imagined when. on open ing the casket, he beheld. instead of the placid features of his aunt Mary, the majestic port or an English gen. eral in full regimentais. who he re- membered mad chanced to die at the same time, and place as his aunt
 At once he cabled to the generals heirs explaining the situation and re- questing instructions.
 They came back as follows: Give the general quiet funeral. Aunt Mary inferred today with full military honors, six brass bands. saluting guns"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
No Passes to preacEers.

"In it's account of the withdrawal of passes by the street railway company yesterday morning. The Age-Herald left a wrong impression about the minis ters," said preacher of the gospel.
 The inference is drawn from the ar ticle that preachers have been riding on passes. This is mistake. The com- pany in the past has made a special half rate to us and we bought books of tickets at this price. The fact that we used books may have given the i'm pression that we were riding on passes.
 "The law allows the issuance of the passes to ministers of the gospel, but we have never availed ourselves of the privilege of this statute"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29
TAFT IN LINE,

From the Austin Statesman.
 The Birmingham geHerald thinks Taft exhibited tho disposition in 1e- cent speech to ride two horses going in somewhat opposite directions. It is to be remembered, however, that he is too fat to ride just one horse, and as tite republican party Is kinder travelling in opposite directions just now warning on the trusts and holding fast to the trust breeding tariff-the big secretary is consistent if nothing more He is in direct llne with his party
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29
ALABAMA PRESS

Alabama Courier: Wheat passed the dollar mark last week in Chicago. Bis cults will rise now without soda.
 Gadsden Journal: King Cotton Is head ed this way and will make his entry into Gadsden in about four weeks. His ad- vent is anxiously awaited.
 Montgomery Advertiser: The Macon Telegraph refers to the late Georgia legis- lature as 'the jaw-jaw legislature" Well, they didn't monopolize the jaw.
 Anniston Hot Blast: If the south sue ceeds in scrippling railway transportation and limiting railway expansion, other sections will profit by the mistake.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
rrom The New York Press.

From the New York Press.
 girl will never let a man kiss her unless she oughtnt to.
 The liver is a convenient thing tu blame because you drank too much the night before.
 When a man wants to take his wife along with him on a trip he is a oen gerous deceiver.
 What surprises every member. of the feminine sex Is what a really good woman she is when nobody else Is.
 A useful thing about being married is that If you make a mistake in bus mess you can get mad with your wife for 1t.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29
THE DECLINE OF MANNERS.
] the MllWaukee Wisoonstn.

From the Milwaukee Wisconsin.
 One of tho funny papers publishes an Illustrative anecdote which bears the marks of exaggeration.
 A lady of the old school. so the story runs, entered street car. and a gentle man of the old school rose to give her his seat. The lady dropped dead Be- fore she fell, however, she instinctively said. Thank youp' on hearing which the gentleman of the old school dropped dead.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29
Morrison Leaves for Virginia.

mOITiSOn GCdHCS lO' VI 6f'''N'
 Bishop H. c. Morrison left last night to be absent from the city about four months, attending his four conferences. He is going first to Virginia, which Is his largest field. The bishop Is resi- dent of Birmingham and expressed his sorrow in leaving the city while the pro- hibition campaign is just beginning.
 T believe" he said, that the wide. spread sentimen against liquor is due to the fact that we of the outgoing genera tion have raised up a generation, train ing them at home, and at school, to hate the vile concoction so that they will not stand for 1t.
 'I'he time will come when they will look back at the time the race was cursed with drunkenness, and will shiver with repugnance, just as we do, who remem- Der the days of slavery People may talk of a reaction to liquor, but 1t will come no more than a return to enslav- ing human beings, beating them with lashes or any of the other evils attend ing 1t sAA4dS
 "Sane men will not say from their hearts that prohibition will hurt Bir- mingham When you come down to the facts only those oppose it who either love their liquor, have an interest in sa- Icons, own saloon buildings, or are afraid they will lose a few dollars as result. I hope to see it win out fin Jefferson county. and hope the people will help to enforce it afterwards"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29
DEPRECIATION.

By John B. Tabb, in Harper's Magazine Low I listen in my. grave
 For the silence soon to be When-a slow receding wave Flushed in Memory. Now the falling of tear,
 Or the breathing. half suppressed. Of a sigh, re-echoed here
 Holds me from my rest. Oh ye breakers of the past From the never-restfng deep On the coast of slumhsr cast. Cease. end let me dseQ
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29
PRINCE WILHELMN'S VISIT

language. As Charles XIV, he reisned until 1844.
 Our guest. Prince William. Is a grand son of King Oscar XIV. King Oscar, in mind and in oharacter. may well be con- sidered paragon of princes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

It would not be popular to put out magazine without advertisements, for the advertisements are oftentimes the best reading in them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29
HOW COULD TE DO IT?

HOW COULD HE DO IT? When I think about that 29,240,O00 fine I can't believe it." Can't believe what?' That Judge Landis likes golf
 OVER THE LINE. Joy is on the wing
 In Georgia.
 Birds no longer sing
 In Georgia.
 Prohibition wins,
 Say goodbye to sins, Find the man who grins-
 In Georgia!
 Nature wears a frown
 In Georgia.
 Turn the glasses down
 Tn Georgia.
 Everybody's blue,
 Smiles are mighty few, Don't know what they'll do
 In Georgia
 January first
 In Georgia
 Will outlaw a thirst
 In Georgia.
 What a shame twill be, If we live to see
 Colonels taking tea
 III 1eOIBldi
 NOT so SHORT THEN. Life is short" Tt seems long when you're seasick." Don't get up too early" advises health expert. That is the sweetest ad- vice we have heard in a long time.
 MELODRAMA FORECAST. How dare you touch met 6s6,ooo times "Take that, and that, and thatH' 4o9,- 900 times. At last, have you in my power" 500O00 times. Hal" 100000 times. Having been photographed many thou sands of times, General Booth has rec ord to make the average chorus girl sick at heart. In the matter of advertising, Profes- sor Muldoon is a lucky man. Mrs. Jesse James declares that she has
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

Secretary Taft went out of his way ,o denounce the new constitution of the Oklahomans. But it suits the peo- ple of the new state and Is none of Mir. Taft's business.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

Chorus girl suppers for Annapolis middies have been suppressed. They must go on without them until they have graduated and. gotten shore leave from their ships.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

It cost Uncle Sam $2,5S4,970 to main tain order in Cuba last year, and the Cubans are not asked to foot but a part of the bill.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

An Ohio judge has decided that a magazine is not necessity. Also, it is quite certain that few of them can be classed as luXuries.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

"A man doesn't reap what he sows unless he works with and watches his crop" says a newspaper writer. That doesn't apply to wild oats.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

While Governor Conner is away on his vacation the railroads will prob- ably come out of their holes for a breath of fresh air.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

Judge Landis is not suffering. from nervous exhaustion or any other ill He has gone a-fshing and he has boiled-cabbage appetite.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

MT. Bryan may be wealthy, as his enemies are fond of saying, but he proposes to keep it from becoming predatory.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

Richmond Times-Dispatch: The Presl- dents latest address will go down to his- tory as the speech that made Province town famous.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

That Chicago professor who says that intermarriage might solve the race problem down south had better stay in Chicago.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

If Wellman goes and comes safely summer excursions to the North Pole will become popular and fashionable.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

Walter Wellman is about to ascend. What goes up must come down, but no one knows where Wellman will come down.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

Governor Glen and the United States are again on speaking terms. They may soon become great chums.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

Miss Mae Wood Is keeping quiet. but the stockholders of Tom Platts ex- press company are not.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

Europe wants more of our coal than we can supply. It Is wanted for use In foreign navies.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

Pittsburg messenger boys have is- sued the utimatum, "No pie, no work" The chances are that they will get pie.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

The Moors may declare a holy war; but it is safe to say they will continue to fight like sin.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

says the Atlanta Journal. Of what? The real size of Taft?
 Knoxville Journal and Trlbune If the southern democrats should decide to nominate a southern man it will not be Judge Jones of Alabama.
 Atlanta Georgian: A Philadelphia girl recently routed burglar with a hat pin. In the hands of woman the pin is mightiet than the sword.
 Shreveport Times: A New Jersey man who attempted to kiss his next door neighbours wife last June has just been arrested on complaint of the injured hus- band. Thus will mans sins find him out. Memphis Commercial-Appeal: It must always be remembered that a blind tiger" starts out hostile to law, and is therefore prepared to scratch most des- perately when the law undertakes to cap ture him.
 New Orleans Times-Democrat: St. Louis woman suing for divorce alleges lldL Sle WAS SiCdliy dIllip9Su Dy hhp army of bill collectors in search of her husband. It is probable that the bills, however, were hers.
 Augusta Herald: The greatest woe to Charleston by reason of the telegraphers' strike is the difficulty experienced in get ting baseball news. Charleston has gone wild over baseball-never did lead in any thing before. you know.
 Portland Telegram It is late declara- ton of a New York minister of the Cos pei that there are forty-four roads to hell and only one which leads to the pearly gates. Considering the fate of the late silver issue, the ratio makes us bit apprehensive.
 Washington Herald: It may be true that a cucumber is 95 per cent water, but 1t cannot be denied that the remaining 5 per cent is about the busiest trouble maker in the entire vegetable kingdom.
 Arkansas Gazette: shall girl marry beneath herr" asks the Louisville Her aid. Not unless she stoops to conquer
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29
A GREAT DAY.

From the Washington Herald.
 The Birmingham Age-Herald speaks of "a great day in prospect" Pay day, no doubt. 'ssy
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

Secretary Taft expects his boom to stay at home and grow while he Is looping the earth.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

Birminghams proud holders of street car passes will soon be face to face with the problem of paying or walking.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

President believes in chasing the octopus in any manner that promises success.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

Nashville Tennessean; "The Taft speech at Columbus was a discovery" says the Atlanta Journal. Of what? The real size of Taft?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

Atlanta Georgian: Found at last, per petual motion maehine-the williamtaft Patented applied for by T. R.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

If all the trusts are as innocent as Standard Oil a corner in halos be- comes inevitable.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

Cortelyou proposes to keep money from acquiring the stringency habit.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29
No Monotony for Young Bachelor.

Life may be rather dull for some people but the young bachelor with bunch of nephews all under six years has a sure preventive for the blues remarked an observant suburbanite last night.
 Tn my neighborhood lives one of these young fellows who is the uncle to two or three of the liveliest pieces of humanity I have ever run across. These youngsters are on the go from early morn until their bedtime just after supper They are not bad, but in some manner their nerves have be- come connected to triple mischief hat terles and it is impossible for them to stay still any longer than three seconds at a time. This young bach elor is very often awakened by young nephew pulling on each ear He puts them out of the room, but as soon as he gets dressed and opens the door they are on him again. Then he must assist in the studying of head stands. hand springs and other difficult feats of physical culture.
 At the dining table it is very hard for them to contain themselves-some- thing funny happens and they just must laugh When this young man re- turns home he is spotted the minute he alights from the car. A mad rush follows and nephews are all over him. He is immediately put to work hold ing these same nephews' feet up in the air while they strut on their hands up the sidewalk. When the house is reached he is not allowed to rest. but must continue the circus tbe too worn out to hold their lids open any Nnger. No. don't think there Is any danger of this young man dying of ennui."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

France cannot let go of Morocco, and she cannot advance far inland
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

Only four days to oysters as a legal and sanitary item in the bills of fares.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

In these days irrigation of lands is booming. but irrigation of stocks is slumping.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

That man can say he is famous who has joke printed about him in Punch.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29
PRESS POINTS

Rome Tribune: Taft is in the saddle. Root is sick, where in the thunder is Cortelyou?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

Voliva goes to New Mexico, leaving Chicago's Zion City open to all corners,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

What if the morning. cold and gray Stared at his dead, white face? One who was tired had gone away Others would take his place.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29
Wants Cheaper Car Fare.

'T will introduce a resolution at the next meeting of the city council said Alderman John O'Nell yesterday Hook ing toward a reduction in transportation prices over the lines of the Birmingham Railway, Light and Power company. If Atlanta can have a cent car fare l do not see why Birmingham cannot
 "The withdrawal of all the free passes on September will enable the company to cut down the prices, and at the same time the city expense of transporting her officers of the law and firemen would not be so high.
 ''It is also time the company Is grant ing the cent fare to Ensley which was promised as soon as double tracks were laid to that city. The 10 cent fare Is entirely too high All these things are of interest 10 Birmingham, and can be forced by the city council if necessary. Many of the aldermen with whom l have talked are of the same opinion.
 "The city engineer is already at work applying the legislation against the steam railroads, and before long Birmingham will have viaducts or subways at the dangerous crossings. We do not intenc to be too harsh but to demand every thing that is justly due the citizens
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29
THE oUTCAsT.

Shut from the world of joy and light, Driven by storm and rain, Hope took leave of him in the night, Never to come again.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

The succulent bivalve will have an inning next week
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

The Coal Barons hold second place counting from the bottom.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-29

WISDOM TABLET. A lot of energy goes to waste in dogs tail.