The news=record. [volume] (Enterprise, Wallowa County, Oregon) 1907-1910, 1907-09-21
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What do you think Of his execution
Helm in favor of it.-Punch.
Miss Smith has written problem
novel, hasn't she?" Yes" What is
the problem?" "How to make 1t SELL"
Life.
Life Is so uncertain" she said. Il
know it," he replied. Lets get mar
ried. One of us may die within few
years. Chicago Record Herald.
Wiggs-Why do you always regard
him with suspicion? Waggs-Well,
every time see him he has a differ.
ent mbrela.-Philadelph Record.
Teacher-Miss Badger. what do you
understand by "thc privileged classes? %
COed-The botany class. They can 20
out in the woods once in a while.-Chi-
cago Tribune.
Suitor-I have the honor to ask for
your daughters dowry. Irate Pal
beg your pardon, sir. Suitor-EXcuse
me; of course meant your daughters
hand.-Vle Pour Rire.
Marie. If James asks you to marry
him tonight, tell him to speak to me. .
And If he doesn't. mamma?" Tell
him | want to speak to him" Wom-
ans Home Companion.
Newlywed-My wife only allows me
three hooks In the closet to hang my
wardrobe on. Oletimer-Don't worry.
Before you've been married long one
hook will be enough for all your ward
robe.-Stray Stories.
"Bligglns says that when he went to
school he was one Of the brightest boys
In his class" YES" answered the
sporting man, that's where so many
of us fall down getting out of the
class. ."-Washington Star.
Mr.. Wholesale-My boy, hope you
save something out of your weekly sal
ary of So. Boy-Yes, sir; save 81
week. Mr.. Wholesale-Ah! I knew
l was paying you too much! After this
I'll give you two Boston Post.
Papa says" remarked the helress,
that you're a more fortune hunter"
"Well, now, my dear" replied the
shrewd fellow, that's more or less true.
Your face Is your fortune. and that's
what attracts me" e."-Philadelphla Rec
ord
10000 my!" exclaimed little Tom.
my. hearing church organ for the first
time, whats that?" Ssh" whispered
his mother, that's the organ" Good
ness! 1t must be an awful big monkey
that goes with that" Philadelphia
Press.
Magistrate Ito prlsoner) What, you
here again? | hadn't seen you lately,
and hoped you were reformed. How is
1t that you have again gone back to
your old ways? Prisoner-Because
am only just out Of prison, sir.-Bon
Ylvant.
"Deary me, John. here's another poor
feller ruined over by one o. these ere
autymobubbes! 'rhat amt nothin'.
mother. They do say as in Rooshia
thousands o. poor folks are killed in
the streets along o. this ere autocar-
cy!"-The Bystander.
Cynlc (savagely) They say the FASH
ionable mother of to-day recognizes her
baby only by looking at the nurse.
Fashionable Mother (unmoved) How
extraordinarily clever, when one
changes nurses so often always tell
ours by the mail cart.-London It'd
Bits.
II took out life Insurance In order
to put something by for rainy day."
Yes" answered the cynical citizen
who has been following the life insur-
ance investigation, but you know how
little conscience some people have about
another mans umbrella. a."-Washington
Star.
Kind Lady Ito little boy with big
swelling In his cheek Poor little
chap, he has evidently got bad gum
boil. Here are two sous: does your
tooth ache badly? Little Boy (remov-
ing the "gumboil )-Oh, no, ma am l
was just sucking big piece of taffy.-
Nos Lolslrs.
The young widow of an old husband
Inscribed the following words upon her
dear departed's tomb: "ro the men,
ory of Mathurln Bezuquet, who left
this vale of tears at the age of 90
years, II month and 20 days. deeply
grieved at having to leave behind him
the most charming and faithful of
wives. ."-Pele Mele.
"Where are you OF to In such a hur-
ryr" ITO the doctor for my husband. "
whats up with hlm?" "He tells me
he has got hepatitls, dyspepsia. rheu-
matlsm, enterltIs, gastritis, appendl-
cltls, nephrltis and cerebro-splnal-me
lnyitis" "Holv serrorst whar. di1 hs