The independent., 1907-01-24

row iv tn Diplomats an they had
other griefs. 1t was hard to dance tn
tWo-step an escape cuttin' off their
legs with their coords, their gloves
busted at times, an now an thin a
southern congressman tapped wan iv
thin on tn shoulder an says: Snow
ball, dash back to tn pantry an fetch
me another slice iy this here pie, an
be quick about it or I'll blow ve'er
black head on That was unpleasant,
but tn Life gin'rally was a cheerful
wan, an II they cud read tn pa-apers
they often knew what they were doin'.
'But it's all changed now. TIL am
bassadure has no snap. He's got to
keep thrained to tn minnyit, an whin
he goes up to tn While House he wears
fightin' thrunks undher his UNIFORM
an carries tennis bats, fencin' masks,
wrestlin' togs, an boxin' gloves in his
bag. With tn Prisidint come into Of
fee he looked tn Diplomatic Corps over
an says he: They need healthful ex-
ercise They ar-re an anemic lot An
thin we began to read in tn pa-apers:
'Th' arrival of Baron Speck Won Stern
burg as German Ambassadure at
Washnton has sint q thrill through
diplomatic circles. FIR a long time tn
infioonce iv Germany has been wanin'.
TIL former Ambassadure was a larned
man, but tn most exercise he iver took
was polishing his eyeglasses. TIL Ger
man Impror was in despair f'r tn
Fr-rinch Ambassadure, Moosoo Jusse-
rand, was at tn white house iyry day
conductin' important negotiations with
a tennis bat in tn back yard. TIL
Fr-rinchman is a fine tenniser but
sthrange to say tn Prisidint can just
beat him ivry time. 1t suddenly oc-
CURED to tn kaiser to sind over Speck,
who is wan iy tn best soordsmen in
tn German army TIL change was in
stantanyous. Yesterday tn Fr-rinch
Ambassadurc was seen weepin' and
beatin' on tn White House dure with a
tennis bat while tn German Ambassa-
dure made faces at him through tn
window. Baron Speck has lost wan
ear FIR tn fatherland, but he has me-
gotyated a threaty fr tn free export
iv dachshunds into this country.
"Tormer fav'rite Ambassadures ar-re
secretly delighted with tn change, but
there ar-re fears that important divol-
Opmints may follow. TIL Jap'nese Min
lister has not been himsilf since he
taught tn Prisidint jiu-jitsoo an was
severely cut be th' glass iv a skylight
through which he was thrown. TIL
Fr-rinch Ambassadure may go home
an his Governmint is negotyatin' with
prom 'nent handball player. TIL
Swedish Governmint will make an at
timpt to have Hackenschmitt riprisint
Sweden at Wash'nton. Last night tn
Prisidint was in an especially jolly
mood at tn diplomatic RECEPTION, where
he showed tn British Ambassadure a
new thrip. 1t wint off very well. TIL
Ambassadure on'y said: My word as
he sat down on an andiron. TIL Eye
Italian Ambassadure is lookin' very
gloomy afther an unsuccessful attimpt
to teach tn Prisidint new game iv
cats cradle. TIL Prisidint said it wud
be all right If we used wire cable an
whoiver lost a hand lost tn game, too
He is determined to establish closer re-
lations with tn South American ray
pubIics an he has challenged tn dark
hued diplomats to grand rasslin
match, whin he will take thin all on at
wanst TIL Ministers iv Chile, Peru,
Argentine, Brazil Uruguay. an Icwa-
door have hurriedly left town TIL
gintleman iv tn old school firm the
north iv Ireland A good man. He's
what they call a Liberal in England.
A Liberal in England is a man who
believes in tn same things that radical
men in this country believe in-like
j. Pierpont Morgan or Andrew Car
maggie. He's in favor iv takin' tn
poor mans money away firm arrys-
tocracy an eivin' 1t to tn plain rich,
II don't know what his qualifica-
tions f'r tn job ar-re He looks pretty
old 10 me fr gymnast. He's book
man an that's bad. | nivcr knew amy
wan byt Teddy that cud thrain FIR
foot race on lithrachoor What did
this la-ad write. says ye? He wrote a
book wanst that Hogan read, called
''rh' American Common Wealth He'll
find a gr-rcat deal more wealth whln
he comes over an II he goes Ia New
York an stays at fashionable hotel
he'll see that it's Just as common as
liver Il was. | don't know whether lis
good book or bad | n!ver read IL.
Hogan says tits full Nv information
about that there socymint that rail-
road Prisidlnts an gr-rcat fi-nanceers
have become so much INTERESTED ~ ~
late, ia Mhnt-dse se-eall-ltT 81 H. rnusll-