Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1907-03-28
UNCLE D|CKY GOES SHOPP|N'

-
ling, all waxed up, which unusual event
called forth the comment oi the sons Of Be-
Ilial:
Where v bin, Dicky?p
ssWko, me2 I've bin & Phil'dslphy with
Chi ole woman. shoppin, as she calls il but
it WIZ runnin' hull lot an buyin' drag
woods.
ssY see, 4 wuz this way, Becky wanted
Et' git some things fer Easter an bin GIN
min her Eve dollars eY'ry Spring T git some
new buds but gin'rally til gran children
got 'em but this time seq, ole woman if
y'll spend some money on yerseli I'll gin y
seuen dollars an mebbe I'll do better p
that, kinder laughin'."
How much better er y gorn t do,
Dicky,n SEE she.
s'Then seq /, by Dad, Becky, III go err
long with y, pay yer keer-fare, an take y
+ the Bringem House fer dinner. Z
.sShe looked kinder skeert but went on
eyer sence we went & th' monyment
raisin an Filly Bullcali's perlitiole meet
| in t'gether il kinder makes me think o.
| th' time W en- we wuz a-sparkin' an we
went eroun t'gether mighty sight, SO I'm
er CORN erlong with y fer l never bin a
shoppin with y, as y call it,
I'VE tux tn fust train in til mornin'
fer she sed come early an avoid tn
rush an by cracky wen we got Z Gin
let's ther' WIZ erbout hundred young fell
lers an gals standin' eroun an one ornery,
sassy lookin' chap SEE,
TIL store amt open yit, an SEE,
s'Yas, il is, fer we iist come through tibet
door an haint er gorn t STAN any er yer
nonsense.
'.We started fer bargain counter bnt q
nice perlise young gal SEE,
Why, Mister, tn store is open, of course
but we don't begin T. sell goods twell eight
o'clock
aThen Becky SEE, we'll iist wait outside
tweIl til clock strikes an we'll be in agin. /"
aWell, we walked up th' street ways
an, by Jimminy, Their wuz horn stick
| in outen TIL wall an Teller w'ot had a
cold, singin through it an hollers up t.
him,
sSay, young Teller, d'y' want me T. pay
| fye cents T. stan here an hear y sing er
does yer sign mean tibet we kin go inside
twell y git done singin' Alice Where Art
Thou Going?' but be never paid a bit a
'tention but went right on singin.'
81 th' time we got up T. Iceberg's th'
clock he'd struck an wien we walked in
Becky ups an seq, where's th' bargain
counter an afore she fairly got tn words
outen her mouth a young Teller SEE, four
teenth floor take th ellywater, please, an
kinder hesitated an wuz erbout askin'
w'ot an ellywater wuz but Becky, who'd
bin there afore, SEE, come on am led me
right to little jail thet slid up an down
on one side O. til room an purity quick tn
door few open an darky begin & CAB a
lot erbout things to sell on tn fourteenth
floor, an by Jupiter, Becky walked right
into tibet little jail am me after her fer I
thought she'd be lonesome without me.
ssThe cage begin + slide up an felt
awful queer an asks Becky, how long er
yin fer but be tibet time th' darky hollered
fo'teenth flo am the door few open agin
an we wuz in TIL biggest store ever seed
-it was iist cram full O. goods an erbout
fifty clerks, men an gals. =
9TH ole womin t look things over kin
der leisurely like AMI iist thought I'd take
walk eroun' an see th' hull thing an
overtake her before she got through.
well, I went down t'oards th other end
an Wien wuz erbout half way down AM
walkin a purity good lick / come up kerr
slam agin glass wall an'th fellers an gals
begin T. laugh. hollered,
ssWhy til Sam Hill don't y hev a sign
up thet th' wall is only big lookin'
glass!9
An then a young smarty SEE,
"W'y don't y take better notice -haint
v ever seed anything bigger IN pocket
mirror?''
Becky seem til mux wuz in, come
eroun' an SEE, let's go eroun on th' other
side COZ she wuz better acquainted. =
Well, iiss ez we turned corner there
stood gal in Ter underolothes an anuther
gal WIZ putin frock on Ter an SEE,
cole Woman, th gals in here haint got
much shame dressin where men er a wal
kin eroun' but she sed,
Tibet wuzn't a real gal but a wax fig
ger.
"Onct got awf b meself an come up
where nice clever young gal wuz hand
in out some kind nv drink an wen |
come up she SEE,
fWon't y hev glass q Hoppe Malto
,twon't cost ye' ennything, an I SEE, don't
keer il I do.