davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08
4 Sensi,iua Monkey.

The most pathetic Of all monkey
stories is one which Grant-Duf has
somewhere RECORDED Tie Dublin ZOO
had famous ape whose delight was
the friendship Of the principal of tie
establishment. Re never passed the
cage without 4 handshake and a
friendly chat until once 4 member OF
the royal family wCuS visiting. That
day tie principal. TOO ensrossed with
the dusies of showing the august guest
round the place overlooked his poor
relation. The APE gTieyed and sulked
and when he went again 10 It's cage
turned saya5ely from him The hu-
men friend vas sent absolutely to
Coventry by 10 humble admirer. And
straishtway The health II tie sulking,
sorrown.g animal began to decline. Ii
fell a victim 10 consumption. When
the end was obviously ut hand the
principal went 10 look. The ape seem
ed to brighten up at his approach. lt
creDt feebly to The front of its cage,
thrust out It's hand for grasp OF
reconciliation and forgiveness, then lay
down ana died.-St. James Gazette.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08
Enon0mIaal.

"T believe have found the prize
woman economist" said an east side
baker the other day. "She has just
moved into my neighbOrhood, ana
understand the family IS by no means
Door. The wife came into my place
Monday and bought a dozen small
cakes. supposed they were for tea
that evening. Imagine my astonish-
ment when she came back Friday
evening carrying q small paper sack.
from the depths OF which she carefully
drew forth three Of the identical cakes
{ had sold her four days before. Nod
ding her head toward them, as she set
them down on the counter before me.
she said sweetly, Won't you please ex-
change these fer some fresh onesY at
the same time Indicating a batch that
I had brought from the oven not half
an hour before"
We'll, what did you dor asked the
bakers sympathetic friend.
"Do? | gave her three OK the fresh
ones. 7 think | must have been mes
merized. Next thing l know she VIII
be bringing back the bread crusts 10
have new loaves put inside them.
Columbus Dispatch.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08
mannfisId,n Fancy Collar.

Richard Mansfield, when mere boy,
vas playing the leading role in a
tragedy. n.thc last scene Of which he
vas sirangled. Sometimes, however,
the actor who WAS % simulate strGn-
Cling him became too realistic. Several
ames ne nearly incapGcitated the prin-
cipal player for finishing his great
gcene. It came 10 such n pass that
drastic measures had 10 be taken. One
evening. In the greenrOOm. Mansfield
gidled up TO the muscular player who
was to strangle him. The latter noted
a strange addition to Mansfeld's cos
tune. Instead Of the cOllaret Of lace
It was his wont to wear. bound about
his neck was n leather band thlckly
studded with prongs.
And. what Is that for?" he asked.
T"Qh fsEtf" replied Mansfield, with
the rising infection and smile IN his
voice; that IS merely a tride, a mere
trifle 20 defer the collection OF my life
insurance. Most incOnyenhntly the
healthy condition of my Tck and
throat IS necessary for the pursuance
Of my profession and the earning Of
my daily bread
The other actor saw the point and
apologized. Mansfield took of the col
lar and never after suffered at his
companion players hands in the big
scene.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08

II you woIid see 4 horse strapped,
booted. braced and geared to the limit
you must seek such Il track as you see
ut the old Imc country fair Here
comes an awkward lea bitten gray
which never went under $50 In his
life. He Is hobbIed ana checked and
gogrled ana hIiched up sidewise,
leng.hWle and crossWise until there
IS more harness than horse. You Won
der how bis driver ever got him into
this rigging and how he will get him
out again without cutting him free
with a jackknife. \ farmer with
gray beard and twlnkling eye observes
to his neighbOr:
"Ilast time John Martin had that
plug out OF the road told him he had
the old cripple overloaded With fust
aids 10 the injured. Them STRAPS that
was car1ated to hoist up his knees
must ha' pulled too tight. and the crit
tur was yanled clean off the ground.
What John wus gettin' ready for was
a race for nyln' machines, not hoss
trot."-David Lansing in Outing Maga-
LIua
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08
Thinns He Saw.

A gentleman in Liverpool restau-
rant the other day thought he would
have q joke with the waiter and asked
him IL he had ever seen sausage roll
"Yes," replied the waiter. IL have
not only seen sausage roll, but l
have seen q biscuit box. table spoon,
bicycle pump. penny stamp, a
chimney sweep, chain link, a nose
gay, a camera slide. garden fence. a
sword fish. a spoke shave. a wall flow
err
But when be got to "a fire escape
the gentleman thought it was time he
escaped too
AS he was going the waiter went on
with ~ tap turn. n cake walk. noun
tain climb. sky lark, a honey comb
But by this time the customer was
hurrying down The street In a dazed
condition Liverpool Mercury.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08
Dina Moe and Dina Mite.

Mr.. Cracker, young colored gentle
man of our city, had just obtained EN-
plOyment IN one OF our department
stores az an experienced porter, but
after a short time proved to DO unfit
for the position. Being fred. he there
by gained the nickname Of Fire Crack
er. Fire Cracker was deeply In love
with a young woman Of his own race
by the name OF Miss Moe and after
short acquaintance found that her sur
name was Dina. He went TO Dina
Noe and said:
"Dina Moe does you lub meT
She quickly replied, mo"
Not being disheartened and at the
same time remembering the motto ht
learned at school, IF az first you don't
succeed try. try again." he went Il
Dina Moe again and said:
'Dina Moe, could you learn to lut
mer
Dina this time rolled the white OF
her eyes and, looking Fire Cracker II
the face, answered.
Dina -Mlter-Judge's Library.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08

Just how sleep is brought about Is
one of the unsolved problems that have
been before science since the earliest
times. There are three general eX-
plantations of sleep. They are c.".ed
the circulatory. the chemical and the
astrological theories. The first two
have subdivisions. The histological
theory Is now pretty we'll accepted.
The nervous system is made mp OF
thousands OF nerve cells. These are
connected like a huge net by nerve ele-
ments. little branching iibers. Each
nerve element is structurally interde-
pendent. but functIonally dependent.
Neurologfsts tell us that the tibers he
come disconnected In sleep-that Is.
each nerve cell Is separated from IT'S
neighbors by the elements. or connect
ing fibers. becoming disconnected. The
nerve cells build up themselves while
separated. asr they have no messages
from the body to bear 10 the brain.
AS The sleeper regains consciousness
the nerve fibers unite and once more
begin their duties. - st. Louis Post
DfSDatch
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08
a Divided Answer.

The country mind sometimes works
slowly. although with an enviaDle
weight and accuracy, but the country
mode of expression is Usually TO the
point. Even its pauses serve their
turn. They are always of rhetorical
value. An old fisherman sat by the sea
wall sk!nning eels which were that
forenoon to be packed in ice and sent
10 q city market. \ young woman, q
visitor in town, stood by watching the
unusual occupation and quite fascinat-
ed by the ease and dexterity with
which ii was carried on. 1t length
she felt the necessity Of making talk
What do you get for eels" she
asked.
"Nothin'," returned the old man en-
phatically, stripping of a skin. Then
with the same precision and lightning
like haste he peeled" another ana
another, leaving his visitor to wonder
at the eccentricity which prompted
him to take so much trouble unreward-
ed. 1t was only after she had given
I'D the question rs bad job that he
calmly finished his seatence-"to what
I'd ought to-"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08
enapdrsoon Seed PODS.

The antirrhnum, or snapdracon, i
one Of the old fashioned garden f0U
ers known by every one. Although q
Is q visitor from southern Europe, Il
has BEEN here so long that It has D.
come naturaliZed When we 80.
'1ion's mouth" frogs mouth" calf
mouth" rabbits mouth" we NEAR
snapdragon. all these names being sug
gested by its grotesQue nasklike coroi
Ia. But there Is something still mO1,
grotesdue II we VIII wait-tg.! The seeC
time and gather the dried. brown
skeleton OF the seed pod Look al
them sideways. under a bright lamp
light II possible, and yo', VII iind they
have quite IA resemblance 70 q rhino
eros. Remove the calyX nnd the III
tie horns on the nose and look at then
from the front. and they have a still
more striking resemblance 10 human
skulls. AMI by turning them about you
get all sorts If queer expressions o.
the grinning mOuth.-St Nicholas.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08
Or;nin of His Name.

In correcting the exercises OF her
class teacher recently observed
new name inscribed on one OF the pa
pers-TOm Brown.
She looked round the class, but could
see no new boy. Not a little puzzled,
she requested Tom Brown TO stand.
Up Jumped Tommy Smith, and the
teacher got more puzzled still.
Your names Smith," she said, mot
Brown"
Tommy looked not a little abashed
and shifted uneasily from one foot to
the other.
"Please, ma'am," be said. tits ow-
ing to family trouble. didn't do 1t,
please, ma'am."
"But," she said sternly, 81 repeat,
your name Is Smith"
"Please, ma'am." said the boy, Its
changed now. Mas married the lodg-
er."-London Mail.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08

What Gives Book World 9ignifeanceY 2
According to reliable estimate, the
number Of books published each year
throughout the world is az the present
time about 1000. Most OF these go
into we'll merited oblivion. Some en-
JOY a temporary popularity. a very
limited number are translated into
several languages and become part OF
the permanent heritage Of humanity.
From the point OF view OF both writer
md reader few questions can be of
greater Importance than this: What is
the quality that makes hook vital,
that gives 1t world importance? In
the largest sense, 1t may be answered
that the universal book Is the book
that transcends all natlonm boundaries
and appeals TO universal eriOtions. But
these emotions vary in intensity from
age to age and from century 20, cen
tury.-Current Literature.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08
The Rc,der Who skips.

A COOL work of fiction. whether n
prose or I'm verse-we are here speak
ing only Of good works-is work ~
art and can he rightly enjoyed cniy ~
entering into sympathy with the art-
lists mind and accepting bis work ac-
cording to his intention. In perfect
poem the place OF every WORD, IN per
feet novel the place. II not OF every
word, of every episode and of every
paragraph. Is important. and the rsad'r
who skips throws away the pleasure
he has meant to derive from the har-
mony OF composition. Ia which very
possibly the beauty Of the whole nay
chiefly consist. AID despiscs The oess
part of the artists labor. He might as
well 60 70 SCI good play and then
wlllfully miss psery alternate scene
Exchange,
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08

By the best reckoning the earth's
population for some two centuries or
SO has been increased at the rate OF
about a million y year From now on.
on account OF Improved material cond.-
tons and the Ciminrdon of the slaugsi'
ter consequent to war. the increase
bids fair 10 lie much greater. 1t has
recently been estimated that the earth
under present conditions might be able
TO SUPPORT number treble that of It's
present population that is. about
4.5O0. .OO0 OOG-four thousand five hun
dred Millions rs means Of scientific
appliances and tho reclamation of arid
and swamp lands II has been calculat-
ed that the figure given might be don
bled or ever tr2bled, giving ten or pos
sibly fifteen thousard millions rs the
ultimate limit Of the earth's popula-
tioD.-New York Areglcap.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08
pncnOstCroGo.

An aged Jersey farmer visiting a cir
rus for the first time stood before th.
dromedary's cage. eyes popping anf
mouth agape at the strange beas
within. The circus pro"sr He-Gn. Gn'
the tso,'Gs ier, for 80 cain show. Du
still tlc clI rnaa siood hefO-e the cag'
In s.uacad silence spp:> EinS every dc
tail of thy misshapen legs. the clover
boots. the pendulOus upper Ilp and th'
curbasly mOunded back OF the sleep!
e-ed beast. Fifteen minutes passed
Then tie farmer turned away and spa
dlsguS:ediy.
"Shuck.. TSc: aiI't DO such anl
Every body's Magazine.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08
A Quaint seateh WeadIs1 Cas.orl.

A ouaint wedding custom still 2'e
walls In many of the little counif!
towns and mining villages In Scotland
When wedding Is held the contract
iny rarties make their guests pay ID
full for the eating. drinking ani dane
ing facilities which are usually pro
ylded on such occasions The practice
still seems to survive even IN G!a5"o"
A correspondent observed a not,e
posted up in the Coweaddens, low
class Glasgow uorougl'fare, informing
the public that a soldier would shortly
enter into the bonds Il wedlock ana
that twopence would be charged Tor
admission to the ceremony and an adj
ditional sixpence imposed for attend
ance at the wedding feast. The prac-
tice seems 10 be peculiarly Scotch. bur
sixpence certainly seems moderate
enough for marriage supper West
minister Gazette.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08
A Protest.

The brave ship was wallowing in the
waves that threatened to engulf her
az any moment. Hastily the captain
ordered q box OF rockets and Cares
brought 20 the rail- and with his own
hands ignited number Of them, IN the
hope that they would be seen and the
passengers and crew rescued. Mid the
rockets red glare q tall, thin, austere
individual found his way with diff
Guilty to the rail and spoke to the cap
tain.
Captain" said he, II must protest
against this daredevilishness. We are
now facing death THIS Is no time for
a celebration" success Magazine.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08
w,v , s>ysII;no Follovs a Blow.

The swelling which follows from
blow Is natures EFFORT % protect tis'
part from further injury and 10 keep II
at rest while repair is going on. Nhat
actually takes place at the seat OF IN
fury is not even now quite understood
The injury TO the smaller blood vessels
jnterferes with the fOw OF blood
through them. and the white corpus
cles. with part of the serum. the Wa
terlng part of The blood. escape mo
the surrounding tissues. NJ tAa same
time the blood vessels in the ne gi9oi-
hood dilate, and tho inc"ca7ed Tow %
blood with the thorOughfare o5Struc;ei
increases the swelling. Il Is pro5ablc
that the white corpusclcS Of the nlood
pass into the tissues % a7si@t .n The re-
pajr as bees or ants assemble az aH lR-
fury 10 their stoicialso, h1, 'lii AS
dlfference-thct the sJse,a-c2 ot nc
corpuscles & probsbly conrer,ej INTO
the tissue of repair Fror, ore 7o'nt Of
view the human body IS only one 81
gantic colony OF Individuals ard 'he
swelling that follows injury bat ne
rush Of these to repair the breach.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08

Every sign In Rio Janeiro Is taxed.
A cafe having a special "sorvete.' .'1or
ice. to serve makes placard and
hangs It TO a doorpost or to one of the
palm trees In tubs which commonly
decorate such establishments. The no
lice thus posted must have a revenue
stamp attached. Permanent signs are
taxed on a permanent basis. tenn
porary signs on stamped basis. A
sign ''House For Rent" bears revenue
stamp. Under such circumstances the
tax ON signboards or billboards is the
expected thing. but naturally there Is
much less general use Of such forms
of advertising
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08
Nn..inn-A Er,l hIer.

Mrs. Murray Keith 4 VeDera bic
Scctch lady. from whom Sir Walter
Scott derived many Of the traditions
and anecdotes wrought in his novels.
taxed him one day with the author
ship. which he stoutly denied.
"What" exclaimed the old lady.
"D'ye think dinna ken my ain groats
among other folks kauT
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08
Korean Enalish.

The following gem of English as II
IS writ by a Korean was handed 10
us by one Of our reporters: Some
days last one Of the families In ShoDs
Pyung Chun made loud when he
soundly slept In the dreaming. at the
whilst one of the japanese military Of
ficers arrived there and asked the
reason Of making noise. Korea News.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08
Mot His Usual Brand.

He was waif from the slums. hav
ing his first experience OF the country
They gave him Il new laid egg o.
breakfast as a great treat. but aftel
one spoonful he put II quietly aside
and devoted himself to the bread an
butter.
why. Pete" exclaimed the matIoi
in charge. don't you like your eggf
mo. ma'am." be replied deprecating
IL. ct don't seem to have no smell moi
taste. ."-rearson's Weekly.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08
Mark Twajn's Mean Man.

'"Tbe meanest man l ever knew
said Mark Twain, lived IA Hannibal
He sold his son-in-law the half o.
very fine COW and then refused &c
share the milk with the young lei "
on the ground that be had only ID
him the front half The sOn-iD-law
was also compelled 10 provide all the
cows fodder and to carry water TO her
twice a day Finally the COW butted
the old man through a barbed wire
fence, and he sued his son-in-iaw for
$50 damages"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08
O-l,l Slot There.

Dickens, lo1kiag Tor local color foi
his novel of Hard Times, =, visited
Manchester. lie went through the hoy.
els of certain Manchester cotton spin
ners. and these foul houses filed him
with pity and horror. Meeting the
Manchester manufacturer who owned
them, he said:
"And do your employees really live
In such houses rs these"
Certainly not" the manufactures
replied. They Only sleep in them
They live In my mill"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08
Il Demanded.

English John and Fat were two
friendly Workmen. who were constant
Is fitting. each one trying TO Outwit the
other.
Are you good at measurement
asked JOIN
81 an that" said P2t quickly.
Then could YOU tell me how many
shirts could Get cut of q yord," asked
John.
Sure" said Pat, III depends on
whose yari you get into
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08

To our own age belongs the credl'
o. having raised hurry from the de
graded position OF disease to that OF
commercial process Formerly hur
rs simply brought people to an earl!
grave. With nothing - show for II
whereas now 1t Is become the means
of transforming peace OF mind. which
is a soecisul. to say the best Of 1t, into
ready money. Hurry has grown to be
a great fact In life. Even the fash
ions take account Of 1t until women
are found doing mp their hair In such
n way that they may 90 the speed lin
il without fear OF its coming down
And the best of hurry is that It is lis
own sufficient justification. Nobody
expects hurry to have any particular
reason behind II any more.-R. B. Ii
New York Life.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08

'T suppose" remarked the coy via
ow. S'thNt you are not an advocate OF
early marriage?"
"Oh, yes, l am" replied the scanty
haired bachelor.
"Then," continued the c. ", why is
il you are still bachelCrT'
ATS QUITE another matter" IN
swelvd the Jachelor. "TLe only mar
riages | believe IN are early ones, be-
cause there is some excuse for youth
fui folli1s."-ChicOgo News.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08
Inportance of the Encineer.

One fact is certain-that in the fu
ture the engineer. using the term In
rs widest sense. Will become increas
incly more and more essential TO the
social progress Of the universe, and
that on his labors and inventiyeness
more than on that OF any other clas=
OF society viii depend the ultimate
physical well being Of mankind
Casters Magazine.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08
Got His Answer.

~ suppose It's always hog killing
time III your town, Miss Packer, ~
sneered the New Yorker.
"Oh. yes" replied the fair visitor
frem Chicago. but don't let that keep
you from visiting US. We always pro-
feet our guests. ."-Philadeiphia Press.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08

"It Is. the nature If women to be
delusIon to men," groTled Tie Oh
cynlc.
Yes" merrlly replied the young en
thusiast and 1t Is lie nature q men
to hug their delusions. Baltimore
American
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08
Taken at His Word.

Master Walter, aged five, had eaten
the soft portions OF his toast at break
fast and piled the crusts on hts plate.
when | was little boy" remarked
his father, who sat opposite him. Il
always ate the crusts of my toast
"Did you like themr' inquired his
offspring cheerfully.
Yes replied the parent
"You may have these" said Master
Walter, pushing his plate across the
tabls-Harper's Weekly.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08

Mirister-NOw. ny 0e!0ged hearer~
next Sabbath evening sI.Jl he in NJ,
special series of Sermons On ".hfHol
of Ancient Egypt." Gambler In -
CONGREGATION (whispcrir= to friend-
Well. wouldn't II fade ye 10 k1o7 th'
game dated back that far;-ChieHS'
News.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08

WNNt-I an eonS 70 buy a place IN
he country and raise chickens and
pigs. VII! get up before doy an1 81
my appetite by working IN ny garden.
The simple life for me. Mijjit-That
is not the simple life That's foolish
ST. Lonis post-DIspatch.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08

The first reference 10 what may poe
slbiy be the game OF football is TO bo
found II proclamation of Edward H..
1874 when the people were forbidden
"to hustle over large balls." The pres
ont name was first u3cd IN statute
of EGv.ar1 IL, lGtI. when football
lu London streets was declared tlcgsL
London Reader.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08
Second Best.

"No." said the sweet young thing,
"T wouldn't marry the best man on
earth"
Then my case must be hopeless
said the youth sorrowfully
"Not at all. | simply said that 10
encourage you."-Pittsburg Press.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08

There Is a vast difference, says u
wise philosopher. between wishing ana
winning. Many good man has failed
because he had his wishbone where his
backbone ought TO have been.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08
ExnlsineJ.

LITTLE Wiuie-Say "a, what is the
difference between "well" and good"
Pal have noticed. my son, that about
the only time when you are good Is
when you are not well.-Denver Post
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-11-08

Were used 70 odd questions" said
the skipper Of river steamer as he
stood on the wharf in the center Of a
crowd Of querying passengers, "and
when l get this bunch aboard I'll
breathe easier and tell you the latest
Al aboard Very soOd. This Ia it.
The other day as we left the pier and
swung into the stream q woman ap-
preached with her two children. |
faw 7 w0s it and waited where's the
fire escapeT she demanded. My hus
band told Inc never 10 travel without
finding out where the fire escape was
/ knew it would never DO TO tell her
we had 10 fire escape, but ] had to
study bit for an answer. Finally ]
pointed TO the rigging ladder running
up our solitary and never used mast
There II IS / told her, and If a fire
breaks out you just run up that She
appeared quite satisfied, but l hopt
she'll never be aboard ship Wien q fire
breaks out. If she Is and runs up
mast thcre'n be trouble sure."-I hila-
delphia Record.