davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Gilpin observer., 1907-12-12
Served Accordinqly.

At mems cafe one night young
Americana barber-fell in with an
Englishman. The latter was berating
the Yankees for doing all manner OF
business in their shops and not follow
ing the better English plan of sticking
to one branch.
The next day he staggered into the
barber shop to be shaved. The barber
gave his face an extra good soaping
and left him, at the same time seating
himself to read.
The Englishman kept quiet for a
few minutes, when. seeing his attend
ant reading, he blurted out: why
don't you shave me, sir?"
You will have to go up the street
for your shave" quietly replied the
barber. I'VE only lather here"
Gilpin observer., 1907-12-12
The Light Of Genius.

For more than a week the school
teacher had been giving lessons on the
dog, says writer in the Philadelphia
Record, and so when the inspector
came down and chose that very subject
there seemed every prospect OF the
class distinguishing itself.
Things were progressing quite salts
factorily, and the teacher was congrat-
uleting himself on the trouble he had
taken when, alas! question was asked
which made him tremble for the repu-
tatfon of his scholars.
why does a dog hang his tongue
on. of his mouth?" asked the inspector.
Yes. my boy?" he said to bright
looking lad who held up his hand
while the light of genius was in his
eye.
ITO balance his tall" shouted the
bright boy.
Gilpin observer., 1907-12-12
His Remedy.

A pompous city official upon reach
ing his home one evening found the
street blockaded and a heap of earth
piled against his doorstep. Observing
a workman welding his shovel in a
nearby ditch, he accosted passing po-
liceman and complained that the la
borer was trespassing upon private
property.
What do yez mean by t'rowin' dirt
on tn gintleman's steps?" demanded
the officer, pompously.
"Sure. an there's moo other place t.
t'row it. d. ye mind!" replied the work
man, indifferently.
''Well, then, in thot case yez had bet
ter dig another hole and t'row IL in
there"
Gilpin observer., 1907-12-12
RACE NEARLY RUN
ABoRlGINEs OF AUSTRALIA FAST
DYING OUT.
Estimate Made That Another Century
Will See the Last of Perhaps
the Most Ignorant Peo-
Pile on Earth.

The red Indian in this country is u.s.
ually pictured as a pathetic instance
OF dying people, yet the Indians have
increased rather than diminished in
numbers during the last ten years.
On the other hand, several important
races are swiftly passing out of ex-
istence and will soon be known to
history only.
OF these the most interesting is,
perhaps, the race of aboriginal blacks
of Australia and the islands close to
the smallest of the worlds continental
masses of land. Scientists estimate
that another century will see the last
of the Australians.
AS far as religious feelings go the
Australian black employs devil wor-
ship in its crudest form. The devil, or
"Jingy." as the native term the evil
spirit, is constantly avoided and the
curious fact that the black never stops
In any one camp for more than three
days is based on the supposition that
the devil is always on his track hunt
ing him. The number is the mystic fig
ure in the dull brains of these natives.
Thus they stay in each bush camp
for three days. They dig three graves
for each dead native in order to fool
"Jingy." The body is placed in the
middle grave upon a thick bed of
leaves and the knees are tied up
against the breast with lashings of
tree boughs and the arms are crossed
over the breast.
The head is turned toward the east
and in this the native worship of the
sun is alone visible. The black man
OF Australia can count up to three,
possible to lead.
The race is anything but a hand
some one, and is made even horrible
in appearance by deforming customs
The women show the left shoulder
and breast, which has queer Jumps
of flesh, nearly white in color.
When a girl child is born the
women take it and with sharp flints
cash the left shoulder and breast and
white sand is put into the wounds.
On healing these gashes turn almost
white and form hideous Jumps. Those
are the distinctive marks of beauty
and fashion for the woman black of
Australia.
With the males their prime orna-
ment is to wear the thin splinter
bone of the hind leg of the kangaroo
This is usually four inches long and is
bored straight through the part of
the nose separating the nostrils. This
is the sign of bachelor among the
natives. For diet they like the kanga-
roo, 'possum, dog, fish, whale, seal,
lizards, grubs and, in fact, almost any
thing will do, as these careless, lazy
people often starve to death where
human beings of even fair intelli-
gence would not experience any hard
ships. When food is plenty they stuff
until i'll and waste much.
The weapons used for the chase and
war are the same and very poor AS
a matter of fact, the Australian blacks
never put up any fight against the white
men. The boomerang or kiley is the
only interesting weapon they have,
and that and the coda or stone hatchet
are the only weapons they had in
vented when turned out by white set.
tiers
Gilpin observer., 1907-12-12
Truthful Boast.

A party of travelling men in Chi
cago hotel were one day boasting of
the business done by their respective
firms, when one of the drummers said:
mo house in the country, l am proud
to say, has more men and women
pushing its line of goods than mine"
"What do you sell?" he was asked.
"Baby carriages!" shouted the drum.
mer, as he fed from the room.-Suc-
cess Magazine.
Gilpin observer., 1907-12-12
How He Did II.

Early in the morning session, when
the pupils were feeling bright and
happy. the teacher thought it good
plan to give them sentences to cor.
rect, both as to grammar and sense
She accordingly wrote on the black.
board:
THE hen has four legs. He
done it,"
Thoughtful little Ignatius, at the
foot of the class. pondered deeply, and
at the end of 15 minutes time, allowed
for correction, he wrote:
He didn't done it; God done It,"
Gilpin observer., 1907-12-12
Deafness cannot Be Cured

BY local applications. as they cannot reach the dis
eased portion of the There IS only one way to
deafness and that by constitutional remedies
Deafness Is caused by an inhamed condition of the
mucous lining of the EustachIan Tube. When this
tube Is inaaned you have rumbling sound or i'm
perfect hearing and when 1t Is entirely closed. Deaf
is the result, and unless the Inflammation be
taken out and this tube restored to its normal condi
ton, hearing will be destroyed forever; nine cases
out of ten caused by Catarrh, which Il nothing
but an ndamed condition OF the mucous surfaces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars for any case of
Deafness tcaused by catarrh) that cannot be cured
by Halls Catarrh Cure Send for circulars. free.
J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo. O.
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Take Hairs Family Pills for constipation.
Gilpin observer., 1907-12-12

With smooth iron and Defiance
Starch, you can launder your shirt
waist Just as well at home as the
steam laundry can; 1t will have the
proper stiffness and finish. there will
be less wear and tear of the goods.
and it will be positive pleasure to
use Starch that does not stick to the
iron.
Gilpin observer., 1907-12-12
Hans>Tooted,

"But, Gretchen" protested the digni-
fled Mistress you should be more dig
nified and not call your fiance 'toot-
sic
"But he has 'tootsie,' replied
Gretchen. blushing all the way up to
the roots of her fiaXen hair.
How do you make him a 'tootsie?' v
why, you see, ma'am, he blays der
biggest horn in der German band.'-
Home Magazine.
Gilpin observer., 1907-12-12

critical condition when began with
Doan's Kidney Pills, and they certain
ly did wonders for me. Though 1 am
81 years old, l am as well as the
average woman of So work we'll,
eat well and sleep WE'LL"
Sold by all dealers. SO cents a box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
Gilpin observer., 1907-12-12
GoIno Some.

II didn't get to the field sports in
time" said the hare. Was there any.
thing particular doing"
Yes" replied the tortoise. that
big kangaroo fellow from Australia
broke the record In the 100.yard
Jump"
Gilpin observer., 1907-12-12
NEW STRENGTH FOR OLD BACKS.
No Need to Suffer Every Day from
Backache.
Mrs. Joannah Straw, 526 North
Broadway, Canton, 8. D., SAYS: For

three years l suf-
I err ed everything
with rheumatism in
my limbs and a
dull, ceaseless ach-
ing in my back. I
was weak, languid,
broken with head.
aches a n d dizzy
spells, and the kid
ney secretions were
thick with solids.
l was really in q
Gilpin observer., 1907-12-12

That an article may be good as we'll
as cheap. and give entire satisfaction.
is proven by the extraordinary sale of
Defiance Starch. each package con-
tanning one-third more Starch than
can be had Of any other brand for the
same money.
Gilpin observer., 1907-12-12

FITS, st. Vitus Dance and all Nervous
Diseases permanently cured by DR.. kline's
Great Nerve Restorer. Send for Free $500
trial bottle and treatise: DR.. Z. Fl. Kline,
Id. 03l Arch St., Philadelphia, Pa.
Gilpin observer., 1907-12-12
CONSIDERING.

After he had been in deep thought
for several minutes Mr.. Henpeck
said:
81 have made up my mind"
''Have your" his wife replied. at
seems to me it took you long time
considering what you had to make
up"
Gilpin observer., 1907-12-12
All ARRANGED.

WED better elope about in the
morning I'll bring the motor to tho
next corner, and them"
"Oh. couldn't you make it a little
earlier. dear? Papa and mamma do so
want to see us off, and 1 don't like to
keep them up SO late."-Home Maga-
zine.
Gilpin observer., 1907-12-12

1t is possible to draw out a man and
make him interesting-but it's differ.
ent with a sermon.
Gilpin observer., 1907-12-12

A woman is seldom satisfied with a
purchase unless she can make herself
believe that she got more than her
moneys worth.
Gilpin observer., 1907-12-12

If there we're not so many different
ways Of lying more people would tell
the truth.
Gilpin observer., 1907-12-12

With old age comes the knowledge
of lost opportunities.
Gilpin observer., 1907-12-12

Defiance Starch-Sixteen ounces for
ten cents. all other brands contain
only II ounces for same money.
Gilpin observer., 1907-12-12

vIAvI LOCAL OFFICE-Lady office man.
eeer wanted right away. 5000 weekly Address DR..
r J. Refnhnrdt. 6N Mack Bldg. Denver. Colo.
Gilpin observer., 1907-12-12
Asthmatlcs, Read This.

Asthmatics, Read This.
II you are afflicted with Asthma
write me at once and learn of some
thing for which you will be grateful
the rest Of your life. Rev. J. r. RAIDER,
S22 Broadway. Denver, Colo.
Gilpin observer., 1907-12-12

ONLY ONE "BROMO OUININE"
That is LAXATIvE BROMO OUlNINE Look for
the signature of L. W GROVE. Used the World
over to Cure Cold in One Day. 25c.
Gilpin observer., 1907-12-12

A feeling heart enriches the world
much more than full hand without 1t.
Gilpin observer., 1907-12-12
Touch Luck.

Hewitt-You look glum; what's the
matter?
Jewett-I've had bad news from my
wife.
Hewitt-What is It?
Jewett-She's coming home.
Gilpin observer., 1907-12-12
Fatalities Among seamen.

Deaths from accidents among sea-
men number SO per 10000. five times
higher than in dangerous occupa-
tions."
Gilpin observer., 1907-12-12

important to Mothers.
Examine carefully every bottle OF
CASTORIA safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that II
Gilpin observer., 1907-12-12

man must stand erect, not be kept
erect by others.-Marcus Aurelius.
Gilpin observer., 1907-12-12

There is one through road to heaven; |;
It is by the doors of needy humanity.
Gilpin observer., 1907-12-12

PILES CURED IN TO IA DAYS.
PAZO OINTMENT Is guaranteed to cure any case
of Itching Blind. Bleeding Protruding Piles In
to IA days or money refunded. t0c.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1907-02-28

the purpose OF the passenger trains OF railway
carry from point point rapidly as possible
secondly, the time table amounts to advertisement
that at certain times trains may be at York
Tor instance for Boston and the company virtually
tiers INTO contract with the purchaser hrstciass
ticket to furnish him the train with the ordinary
nrsr-ciass railway accommodations OF such Journey
unless. OF course. the train be advertised limited
one.
That railway Is at liberty, II chooses to hold
such ticket holders week because he refuses TO
stand up on the journey between New and Boston
which would De the logical conclusion II the contention
OF the New Haven officials sustained Is plainly
absurd--New York Globe
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1907-02-28

Women who cheat at games and thel
are unashamed when men laughlngl,
accept the cheat as a joke help TO low
er the feminine sense OF honor. They
/ are as bad as the women who talk ol
having servants when they have none
declared Miss Lucy Soulsby at the con
ference OF the National Union of Won,
en- Workers at Tunbrldge Wells.
II was a debate In who Has the
Most Sense OF Honor. Women or MenT'
But no men were allowed TO take part.
Before preparing my argument.
said Miss Soulsby. Il made an lnyesti-
CATION to learn what were the things
In which women lacked sense OF hon
or. Besides the woman who speaks OF
servants which she hasn't got. ! had
pointed out to me the woman who
reads other peoples letters without au-
thority. and the woman who overhears
conversations which she Is not sup
posed to listen to.
why Is II that girls are more prone
to cheat al games than boysf II Is all
because OF early training. Boys are
taught 10 be chlvalrous and tolerant
of girls So boys grow up with sense
OF chlvalry and girls grow up expect
ing tolerance OF boys The weaker sex
Is thus handicapped
women do not learn the practical
lessons which rough experience gives
to the other sex. A boy knows II be
does not pIaJ fairly he VIII receive no
quarter; II he cheats he win get kick
ID out; but With girl 1t Is altogether
different Il boy plays the game and
sbides by rhe decision OF the umpire.
out girl viii appeal from the UNI
,sre's decision II II does not suit her.
As rule. would say that girls have
more sense OF honor BY nature. while
'oys have more By training London
fail.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1907-02-28

Multltudes OF silk crochet buttons
are used again. and they are to be had
In ali the fashionable coIors
A brown and tan check tailor-made
d made with two circular volants set
foot apart on the skirt and huge
ten-fnch square pocket on the short
sack coat
The Elton jacket has returned to life
IN the little fur coatees. The sleeves
come barely to the elbow In these jack
stA 50 long sleeves are stu afar %
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1907-02-28

MISS AUkkAf- today
Eighteen months ago in Texas Miss
Murray listened with great enthusiasm
TO the singing Of solo by a singer of
talent, bass voice. Until that mo
ment she could not sing. While still
under the influence Of the emotional
excitement OF the song Miss Murray
turned to the singer and said:
Il believe I could sing that song. -
The girl asked that the accompapi-
ment be played, and to the utter as
constituent Of those present she sang
the song with an imitation Of the bass
voice 50 marvellous as regards its vol
ume. range and timbre that those preS-
emit could scarcely credit their senses.
The following day Miss Murray. who
was as much mysti5ed as anyone. was
amazed to find the voice so newly az.
quired and so astonishing to evervons
as powerful and beautiful as ever Che
consulted vocalIsts, first In St IouIs
and next In New York. and received
considerable training and now ber
singing Is almost perfection.
Her case Is an extraordinary one
and Dr. Gustaye Gayer. Of New YORK
noted hypnotist explains 1t by byp-
motto suggestion. He believes that
Miss Murray at the time she listened
to the song became self-hypnotized-
an entirely possible occurrence. be
says While In this hypnotic condi-
ton. self-imposed. she wilIed that she
should sing bass. In other words, Miss
Murray Is actually the Trilby of the
story book, although 1t was she her
self who created by hypnotic sugges-
ton this extraordinary voice.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1907-02-28
DAYLIGHT AHEAD.
The Latest stage In the Evolution of
the Electric Light.

The Latest stage In the Evolution o.
the Electric Light.
Firefies are still In advance Of man
kind In the matter OF economical lighi
| producing The pkosphorescent gioss
which they give on Is nearly pure light
Very little Of the energy Is wasted In
heat, while In the case Of the lighting
devised by man more power Is used
up In producing heat, which Is usual
" not wanted. than is converted into
visible light
The nearest we have yet come to
following the firefiles Is the mercury
vapor light developed BY American In
ventors, which. In the form Of long.
glowing tubes, has been seen In our
shop windows as advertisements for
two years or more
They produce more light at less cost
than any other practical method OF IL
Elimination, and would be extensively
used IL 1t were not for the color Of the
light. 1t eontasas no red rays. but Is
strongest in the violet end OF the spec
trum, extending far beyond the limits
Of visibility in that direction and In
Guiding an abundance Of rays that we
can photograph, but cannot see.
This mercury glow light has made
the while you wait photography" OF
the pleasure parks a possibility, but
It Is too CHASTITY for common use. II
Will turn parlor into a morgue or a
seance room
But recently It is reported that Ger
man chemists have overcome this diff
fculty by putting into the electrodes
other metals besides mercury, thus
changing the character Of the light |
and making 1t approach the light Of |
common day.
Zinc with 10 per cent Of bismuth and /
a trace Of sodium il used for this pur-
pose. II this proves practical we shall
have our houses cbeaply lighted By
softly glowing tubes arranged In all
sorts Of artistic designs on the walls
md ceilings, instead Of one or more
Joints Of light too bright to look at d.
-ecfly.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1907-02-28

Is higher and longer. but much NOR.
graceful than heretofore.
Greater length and slimness are do
manded above as well as below the
waist, which. fashion DEGREES. shall
grow as small rs Is consistent with
comfort
A feature Of the new cuts f. the az.
tremely fat back.
Some Of the new French corsets have
elastic shoulder STRIPS.
Corsets Of large sizes have backs
that are very long below the waist
closely fitted unboned pieces often er.
tending for quite twelve inches from
the belt.
The combination corset, an arrange.
ment Of corset and petticoat. Il in real.
lty boned and steeled princess sllp.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1907-02-28

than no man AZ all. might have been
The dictum fifty years ago: but now Il
reads Better splnstcrhood than sny-
thing less than a suitable match.
This y change decidedly for the
better: for II women raise the stand.
ard Of manhood and stick 10 II mason.
unity VIII have to come up to that
standard or BE- loft stranded. win
the ever-widenins scope OF woman's
world work there Will be correspond.
ing falling OF Of matrimony. once Il
may have been true that wosnan's only
profession wns wifebooi. hui n IL 40
no longer--Phiiadelphia Telegraph.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1907-02-28

bearing mother. and this is often the
dictum that makes miserable the lives
Of children and really does conquer
them, making Of a truth-ioving. courng-
eous little soul a whining. cowardly
creature. with no will OF It's own and
no respect for the will that has made
this true. Better try to lead In the
way Of right and rejoice In the fact
that a child Of yours has will Of Its
own.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1907-02-28

One Of the happiess women I ever
knew said woman. was a rich rirl
who married a poor man. she declared
tnat the only thing that could make
ner happy was this marriage. and II
was IDEAL In every way. Both Of them
are now dead and the daughter IL mar.
r'ed 70 the son Of an ex-governor Of
Southern State. hope sbe 4 AZ
happy as was her mother through IN
her married life"
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1907-02-28
METALLIC LADDER.


Much Primer and Easier to Climb
Thaa = Rope Ladder
Only those who have had the ex-
perience Of going up or down a rope
ladder know how trying It Is It
would be almost impossible for any
nervous person to attempt 1t without
falling Being light IN weight. the
ladder naturally swings to and fro, es-
pecially IL the end Is not secured to
something. Generally It Is not possible
to do this. A ladder which. theoreti-
cally. seems to be far superior to a
rope ladder. has recently been patent
ed by a Brooklyn mechanic. The ac-
companylng Illustration clearly shows
its construction 1t is series OF al
ternate hand-holds and steps. made out
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1907-02-28

Il suppose you are glad to have e.
capped all notoriety in connection with
these financial expcsarc=y
Il dunno" answered Mr.. Cumrpx I;
sometimes think mother and the
girls would rather see my name in the
paper that way than not at an-
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1907-02-28

II Is said that American women form
tho majority OF those who are A. tha
various health resorts Of Europe sv.
cry year, and that their ailments ara
as numerous as the many kinds Of wa.
tiers that are supposed to restore tbe
failing powers Of the nervous or take
oh or put on flesh
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1907-02-28

Il wish you'd write this letter over
and correct the spelling" said the off,
ciosls man who had neglected to pay his
steDographer for three weeks
That's the best / can do for the
money I get" she replIed--Detroit
Free Press
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1907-02-28

Of wire rods bent to shape. An add
tional advantage lies in the fact that
this ladder Is made in sections. At
the top Of each section Is a threaded
opening to receive a corresponding
threaded extension at the end of the
section above. In this way the ladder
can be made any desired length very
quickly.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1907-02-28

not sing with any
particular distinc-
ton, but now her
voice = a basso
prosundo OF ex-
traordinary range.
power and timbre
lis said to have
no superior and
perhaps no equal
on the operafIc stage
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1907-02-28

Il must conquer her" declared a
stern-visaged woman. talking about her
delicately fashioned little daughter.
who resisted the dictates OF her over
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1907-02-28

D.s-rs modern woman wnnf 10 narryf
An Affirmative answer 10 this question
Il doubtless a correct answer. Mo<srn
woman wann 10 marry jest as much
a. olf-f4shioned uoman. bur abs u a
oit more particular a. 70 the nan shs
chooses Better any Old HAD Of snaa
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1907-02-28
a REAL TRILsY.

Gfrf's Marvellous Voice Brouxht Out
by Hypnottsm-
Miss Edna Murray, Of Texas and
New York. Is a Trilby in real life
Until a year and a half ago she could
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1907-02-28

that makes up into interesting little
gowns at nominal cost to the aiIsllk
kinds. with many stop In between at
all-wool and silk.and-wool varieties.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1907-02-28

The Boston teachers are to be p~n-
stoned after certain age with half
pay Inc teachers will make a ANAL
contribution from their salaries for the
,und, ana the balance will DO made up
Dy appropriations from the city.