Sharp County record., 1907-11-08
BILL AND
JOSIAH

pale-faced highbrow like that to col
lege. He wouldn't do anything but
study Now Bill Wing was differ
ent; Bill would do anything but
study.
"Thunderation, sir!" angrily ex-
claimed Bill, when professor once re-
preached him for lack Of familiarity
with the text-book-"Thunderation and
blazes, sir, a fellow can't know every
thing! Besides, sir, Sneech-Josy
Sneech-comes from my town, and he
does my studying for me-" Bill
glared Indignantly at the professor.
With averted eyes the professor re-
marked sagely: "Sneech? o, Sneech
will never amount to anything"
We'll" said Bill Wing, Il can't help
it, why doesn't he get wise and play
ball?'
Precisely.
But Josiah Sneech stood no more
chance of playing baseball than he did
of being a success in the game of
life. He had a glass arm from birth.
He could not have hit balloon IL
it was fastened in front of him.
Bill Wing was the goods.
1t takes sure-enough college ath.
lete to make a success in life. Bill
was the greatest pitcher the old uni
versity had ever turned out. Courte-
Gus, affable, distinguished in his bear.
ing, possessed Of muscles like iron,
and generalship such as Napoleon
and handful of officers in the worlds
history have acquired through sea.
sons of stress. Bill Wing developed
into the "headiest" pitcher that ever
made batsman wildly smash the air
and bite his lips in sorrow.
Was Bill Wing the goods?
Certainly.
Josiah Sneech travelled for a hard.
ware firm, in a half-hearted attempt
to sell patent egg beaters to house.
wives who shooed him off the prem.
ises, the summer vacation before he
went back to college for his senior
year. This was really the nearest ap.
proach to anything useful that poor
Sneech accomplished in his college
career. The fellow was perfectly fool.
ish about books. He used to study
till the midnight oil refused to burn.
Sneech took book with him to the
only ball game he witnessed during
the brilliant season prior to gradua.
tion. A foul tip ripped into the
bleechers, made straight for Sneech,
broke his finger, and dashed Jevons
logic to earth. Oh, anybody could see
the finish Of Sneech.
Hoodooed from the start, and a
man marked for the cold unconcorn
of a world that was eagerly waiting
for stalwart, popular, wlde.awake
fellow like Bill Wing.
Bill was graduated. Some Of the
more conservative professors did not
fully understand how the athletic com.
mittee fixed 1t.
Also poor Josiah Sneech wac gradu.
ated.
Poor Sneech! What struggle
with an unappreciative world was to
come to him!
Already he was catalogued as a
failure by such persons as over let
their eyes rest upon his pallid, mourn.
ful features, his painfully stopping
shoulders, and his forlorn, hopeless
aspect, He looked like q ruin.
The post college career of Bill
Wing began right away, II differed
no whit in brilliance from his oiful.
gent college existence, Bill pitched
winning ball for the Giants all sum.
mer. His salary was said to be the
highest ever paid to a Young.
ster."
BY some unexpected vagary Of fate,
Josiah Sneech landed a Job shortly
after graduation He read law and
worked as Office boy at three dollars
per week IN dingy Office where day.
light was myth and got In only by
accident,
And Sneeoh did nothing but got dis,
liked by the junior clerks on account
Of his disgusting habit of studious'
ness,
On the diamond, Bill Wing was
winning the plaudits Of tho mul.
titude,
Eleven years fed Eleven years
on u diamond and In dingy office,
In a sumptuous library keGn.eyad
man was turning the pages Of HIS
newspaper caroegsly He brushed
back the hair from his brow, The
diamond on his finger caught q ray
of light from the $4,000 mirror across
the room and flashed gorgeously, Tho
gentlom0n's eye fell upon glaring
headlines, M follows;
"Snoech Wins IN Brilliant Battle"
Eminent Young Corporation Counsel
Pats Legal Talent to Rout,"
"M.m'' said the gentleman, Mimi"
He appeared in no wise dispoasod
Rising he throw out his Ghost and
paced back and forth upon tho thick
velvet carpet Presently he touched
o silver bell An obseQuIous serving