Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-02-16

f "S-coEe Guest.
Every one knows that To be sue
cesSfu, hostess. making. ones visitors
have good time and be at ease is q
talent, hut | am quite sure that to be
Il successful guest requires more tacr
and art. There are painfully few per-
sons whose departure is regretted from
the houses in which they have been Wis
iting, and it is all because the stranger
WIthu the gate has taxed either the
nerves, resources, poCketbOok or pa
thence. and. alas. sometimes all of these
The visitor has not done il parposely. of
course, but simply through stupidity
seltlshnesS or thoughtleSsnesS. Which
ever the cause, if she wishes to be popu-
lar among her friends nj distance She
will do well to remedy this fault. else
they will ask her only at such times rs
they must not to have i'll feeling
To be 4 perfect guest | should say
consists III putting ones self thoroughly
in touch with the habits of the house
hold conforming to the hours and ways.
adding to the pleasure of the household
by being agreeable and appreciative and
AT the same time not making ones self
too much member of the family"
This is the error that guests who don't
wish TO be bit of trouble arc likely
10 fall into, and it is quite as bad as
upSettlng the machinery in another way
L
Cldedly such thing as being too inform
al for Il guest, going into rooms where
the hostess would prefer one did not,
and by being constantly in evidence
knowing too much of the ways and
means of managing. Every housekeep-
er has ut least Il few reservations she
would like to keep as TO the way she
runs her house. and if a guest in a
most friendly desire "to help" insists
upon always following around during the
morning hours or asking questions her
hostess must either tell more than she
wishes or else he rude in refusing. \
guest who puts hostess in such "A po-
sition fails utterly in the part Of visit
ing.
If one is staying in house where the
servants are few and the mistress does
Some small tasks herself. it does not at
ali follow that a guest is Il success as
such and helpful in insisting upon dust
ing her own room or making the bed,
for example That a guest does any
work at all may outrage all the ideas of
hospitality of some hoSteSSeS and. if
this is SO. it is obviously silly for the
visitor to offend her friend 10y making
herself useful"
Under such circumstances the visitor
would better retire to the sitting room
with a book or TO write letters and leave
her friend to her own way of doing until
things are started for the day. On the
other hand. some hOSteSSeS are quite will
ing that Il guest. especially if the visit is
TO be long one. shall get quite into the
family life by taking up certain small
tasks. and in that case the visitor should
do what she is permitted. offering her
services simply and frankly. If the
stranger is tactful and observing she may
find without asking certain small things
to be done, and then ask if She may do
them.
1t is because hostesscs differ radically
in their ideas of entertaining that it is
impossible to lay down fixed rules of
what to do when one is visiting One
can only generalize by saying. watch to
see what is wanted of You and then try
to do it, You are apt To know whether
or not you are successful by the fire.
Quency with which invita- tons to stay in
other peoples houses come in.
Punctuality at meals is one of the
requisites of being a successful guest. Ii
houses where the servants are limited to
tive. or even one hardness in serving
meals will upset the whole domestic ma
chinery and make all hard for mistress
and maids. If visitor doesn't like Ia
have an early breakfast, for instance,
and her hostess has tie first meal served
mt 30. the guest must be willing to be
ready for it or she should give up visit
ing in that house. In other words. if one
Is not willing to do as the hostess she
should cut that house from her list in
which to stay. 1t is grossly unfair and
tacit criticism not to do as the others
in it,
There is decidedly such thing as over
entertaining as well as doing too little of
It. and it is a fault to " hich both guest
and hostess are prone. Each, in the de
sire to give the other pleasure. too often
leaves no time for privacy that each per
son always needs at times and mt the
end of a visit both guest and hostess are
worn out by it. \ guest should never
forget that a hostess will have many
small matters pertaining to housekeeping
and the like 20 look after aud should see
that she relieves the houSekeeper Of re-
Sponsibility Of her presence for time
that they may be looked after. On the
other hand the hostess is 10 recolect that
the guest viii have letters To write. tr-
Jung mending TO do. or will have found
book she would like 10 run through
and III her desire 10 give her friend "a
good time the hnusekeeper should NOT
absorb her time 50 that the other has 40
chance for any of these. FlatIy each
should have q little while to themselves
every day.
Making ones guest II financial eXtrav-
agance is a fault of American hoStesseS.
For fear that the visitor will not he sui
tclently entertained more money i spent
IN the the8ters, luncheOus and dinners
than the family purse can afford without
economizing in another direction, and on
the departure of the friend the family
subsiSt upon plain fare and simple liv-
IN until they have made up the previous
expenditure.
This. in my opinion, is contrary 70 the
ethics Of hospitality. which should he
10 make friends welcome within the
home, giving and receiving such pleasure
that departure is a cause Of regret on
both sides.
Cultivating Sense OF Fitness.