The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-01-11
HE CELEBRATES CHRISTMAS.

'@oho!" Exclaimed Policeman Flynn
We
AS Policeman Barney Flynn differs
llttle-at least, in one respect-from
the average man of limited means, the
approach of Christmas found him
troubled, not to say pessimistic. He
heard the customary talk about Christ
mas; he saw the Christmas ADVERTISE
ments in the papers and the Christmas
goods in the shop windows; he read
the accounts Of Christmas plans for
feeding or otherwise remembering the
poor; and the only effect it had on him
was to make him jingle the lucky
half dollar he carried in his pocket,
and shake his head dolefully.
"'Tis tn da-ay iv tn rich," he said
to himself. "'Tis tn time whin ye
wa-ant twinty thousand dollars f'r to
do tn fright thing be all tn good
people ye know. IT'S tn da-ay iv give
an ta-ake, an if We can't give ye're
ashamed f'r to ta-ake, an there We are.
II was dif'rint in tn Of days whin
was a la-ad, but now livery wan
who ha-ands We out a two-bit sca-arf
Expects f'r to ha-ave as good or bet
Their ba-ack from We, an tn ray-su1t
Is we all go BROKE givin' things that
Nv no great use to amy wan, but tn
shtorekeepers that sells thin. IT'S
f'r me to shtall tn good woman be a
little ta-alk iv har-rd times befoor she
sp1nds tn r1nt money buyin' fred ties
an six-f'r-a-nicke1 see-gars be tn
box"
With this object in view Policeman
Flynn entered upon systematic cam
paign to discourage Christmas shop
ping, and he did it with his usual dip
lomatic ability.
I'VE can't 1mpriss thing on tn
mind Nv woman be sayin' it wanst
an lettin' it go at that" he told him.
self. Eye must ding-dang it into her
head without lettin' her know what
ye're doin'."
So he began to drop Incidental re-
marks about poverty and hard times,
with a casual suggestion from time to
time to the effect that there would be
no Christmas in that house. Later,
whenever the moment seemed propi-
tious, he aired his Christmas views
more at length, and even illustrated
them with occasional stories. All in
all, he congratulated himself that he
was accomplishing his purpose with
exceptional cleverness and strategy.
Think iv tn bargain days that fol-
lies Chris-mus!" he remarked one day
at breakfast. Ills tn wa-ay iv tn
world. Whin ye ha-ave no money
tn lads in tn shtores is thryin' FIR
to ha-and things out to We at Hiss than
ha-alf tn cost to ma-ake thin. Ohio!
they're sma-art min, those fellies. All
tn year. ye're sayin' to thin that they
niver thruly sell annythin' at liss
than cost, an tn day afther Christmas
they come back at We an say: Well
prove to We now that We can do that
very thing be offerin' tn goods at liss
than cost whin ye're not in Shape f'r
to buy Thin tell ye, Mary, tn wise
wan is tn felly that plans f'r to ta-ake
thin up whin they ma-ake tn bluff. -
The logic Of this seemed unanswer-
able to Policeman Flynn, and few
days later he supplemented it by re-
minding her that the year before she
was near dead f. thinkin' iv tn things
We c'u'd ha-ave an comparin' thin
with tn things We did ha-ave, all be-
cause iv tn ba-ad habit iv goin' BROKE
wanst year." Next, after a reason
able interval, he told her about Cullen,
one Of the men at the station.
9TH only throuble with Cullen" he
said, was that his hea-art was so big
an RESPONSIVE that he c'u'dn't button
his visit over it whiniver amy wan
or annythin' appealed to it. He had
good head, too, but It was nawthin'
beside iv his hear-rt. His head was
always givin' him tn fright tip, but
his hear-rt w'u'dn't Fave him listen to
it. That's why tn byes at tn station
has f'r to dodge him reg'lar afther
Christmas. He come to me on tn
twinty-sivinth da-ay iv last Day-cim-
ber-I ducked him on tn twinty-sixth,
KNOWN tn kind iv la-ad he was, but
he cornered me on tn twinty-sivinth
an he says to me, he says, Barney
he says, I ha-ave up to tn house, he
says, "a bright green nick-tie, an a
red nicktie, an a polky dot nicktie,
an two pipes, an a box iv see-gars,
an or-gold pair iv suspinders, an
some shippers, an fut-rist,' he says;
an the good woman do be havin' a
sort Nv dolly thing, an silk pitt
coat, an some shtockins with pale
blue clocks on thin, an pink Shirt
waist, an little statoo " Vanus f'r
to put on tn kitchen shs1f, an a.
wather-caraffy, an a new taypot,' he
says, AN tn childher has a Fred
sca-arf. an a shled, an a pair. iv
ska-ates. an toy gun, an little pa
throl wagon. an some blocks. an