The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-28
Knights of Menus Hold Their
Annual Celebration.
JOHN SHARP WILLIAMS TALKS
Organization Of Government Print
ing Office Employees Does Not Hesi-
SpOnseS to knocks" Are Made in
Similar Vein-ARair Enjoyable.

from the address Of one of their officers,
THE amalgamated association of revelTy
and vituperation known as the knockers,
an organization composed of employees of
the Government Printing Office. held It's
annual anvil chorus at RausCher's Hall
last night with Public Printer Stillings.
Ex-Speaker J. Warren Keifer. and Rep
resentative John Sharp Williams as their
principal guests and victims. The purpose
Of the organization, according to the
explanation of the POSTMASTER Of the &C
casion. is 10 concentrate all the knock
ing suggested by the events of each year
into four or five hours OF feasting and
levity. and last nights developments
showed beyond question that the associa-
ton is singulaTIy successful in its aim
Everything and everybody connected
with the printing Office served as targets
for shafts of good-humored ridiCule and
gTiddling, but the Representative from
Mississippi was the recipient of especial
attention. Mr. Williams, however. had his
turn. and his address, answering the hui
moristic attacks made on his personality
characteristics. and ability as a Represen-
tative. reused the 80 knockers assembled
into transports of gIee.
+. \. Whitehead, who introduced the
POSTMASTER. T. C. Parsons, prefaced his
Introduction with gentle raps at his coll
leagues and Mr. Williams. He said that in
his work at the printing Office he had had
70 handle much of Mr.. Williams copy.
and his characterization OF the said copy
would. on any other occasion. have been
considered "a personal affrout
Mr.. Parsons Responds.
Then followed "a response by Mr.. Par
sons that added much to the hilarity of
the occasion. Frank d. Smith. historian
OF the association. followed with the
scroll of last years chorus. His more
OF less gentle jibes were directed az those
who had taken part in the programme
ON that occasion. and contained a refer
ence TO the Public Printer. simplifed
spelling, and other alleged woes Of the
office employees. In connection with Mr..
SuIIings, the historian stated.
Public Printer Charles A StiIlings re-
sponded with Well-feigned hesitation and
modesty, and acknowledged the applause
from numerous gentlemen present who
had applications for promotion on file"
When Mr.. StiIlings was given oppor-
AhlAltf tD ENi ttihF flf Ntlll-ttflA Qt-tllllttl
to give measure for measure. contenting
himself with happy expressions Of good
will toward the knockers and assuT- /
ances OF the interest iu their welfare He
had been asked To explain the distinction /
between good-natured and malicious
knocking from personal experience, /
but only touched upon that phase of the /
subject long enough TO say that he found /
consolation in that modern slogan Every /
knock is boost
Gen. Keifer was the next guest to give /
vent 10 his feelings. He paid a tribute to
the printers, and pOked fun at Congress !
man Williams whom he accused OF hav-
ing the manuscript of his speech for the /
occasion with him.
Williams Keeps Guests Laughing.
Mr.. Williams was the next speaker He /
addressed his hearers as Fellow ohe- |
mians." and kept the assembIage laugh /
ing throughout his address.
He began by answering Cen Keifers /
accusation about the manuscript with +
the explanation that while hanging up his .
overcoat he found a manuscript in the /
EenC-cl's pocket and had appropriated it /
for his own use, thus accounting for the /
generals malice and poor oratory.' Con /
tinuing. Mr. Williams said be could tell I
why the general had attended the BAN
Quet.
Gen. Keifer spoke to me yesterday
about this occasion. and said that be had
hesitated 20 accept. as he had decided to
give Up banqueting it being such a strain
on the digestion and intellect said Mr..
Williams.
When the general heard from me that
J. Adam Bede and Julius Kahn were to
be here he decided there would be no
strain on the intellect. What Kahn is
not ignorant Of Bede is. As soon as I
had heard the Introductory remarks of
Mr.. Whitehead. 7 became still more con-
WINGED that the generals decision had
been well founded. BY the way, the gen
erals apprehension as TO the effect Of
any further intellectual strain was timely.
as his intellect had already been severely
strained through his efforts in unfolding
the protective tariff
Killed SimpIifed Spelling.
You fellows don't know what DEBT
You owe TO me I don't mind your knock
ing mel stand serene in the conscious
of my perfect and exalted craftsmanship.
but I want to tell YOU why YOU should
look upon me with gratitude Had it not
been for me, and perhaps one or two
others. YOU would not be here tonight (
You would all be spending your time pre-
pairing yourselves for Mondays combat
with simplihed spelling.
I have never been a compositor. and.
thank God, never a proofreader As to
my manuscripts. I can only say that
while they are fresh I can read them. but
l am glad that there are some hired
hands to do the composing and proof
reading on them"
Mr.. Williams closed with a few appar-
emily sincere expressions Of pleasure at
having graced the occasion and took his
seat amid great applause. ID
Representative Bede took fall out
Of Mr.. Williams I'm opening his address, ]
which later turned upon more serious q,
topics
Galley slaves" he began, my es-
teemed colleague from Mississippi has {
said that he was never a compositor
How could he be? He is a Democrat. Z
The Democrats do not compose. they de- J
compose They are like the goat sent
by express that ate its tag Look we're.
the COlored porter said this yer goat has
ct up where its gOin'.' The Democratic .
party has ct up where it's going" and
only God and John Sharp Williams knows
yo where it is going
Printers Earn Their Salaries.
Continuing. Mr. Bede said that he was
glad TO be with "a bunch of government
employees who earn their salaries" He
had not that pleasure In the pursuance Of
Iis duties at the Capitol. Then more
seriously, MT Bede went into the question
OF money in politics, and said, among
other things that rs long as it takes
$50 600 or more TO make a successful cam
paign in State, the Senate will always
be the milionaires' club"
During the evening Mrs. B. II. Smart.