The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-08-18

should mix up with those that echo run the mooing of a COW while you are trying to sleep. l was about as sleepy as man ever gets to be when 1 turned in the othsr night and murmured as l rolled over that it would be one night of good hard slum- Der for me. The slumber came all right, but the way the mooins of "Old Bess , who had stopped in the street in front of my house. churned my dreams put my nerves on the ragged edge all right
 The mooing had me jumping before went to sleep but my lids were too heavy and they shut down tight The sound of mooing gradually took on another tune, and the next thing I knew I was fioa'- ing on the waves of some great sea- Noth- Ing was supporting me, and upon looking around I could see nothing. 1 heard strange blowing, though, and starred swimming in the direction from which the sound came.
 After what seemed years of time sped something tall and black, and re- ncwing my efforts, swan towards it as fast as I could The swim was long and hard, and had me puffng like locomo- tive but l didn't give up. As l d-ew nearer 1 saw that this tall thing was d lighthouse erected on a huge rock, and readily understood what the sound was, for 1t was nothing more nor less than the blasts being blown by fog horn.
 T was doubly anxious to reach that rock for l was so tired l could hardly keep myself on top of the water. Reach- Ing the rock I placed my hands upon It in the endeavor to climb on top, but my hands slipped off as if 1t had been sicked with grease. 1 tried another spol' but with the same result. Then 1 sWam all the way around It. but the whole place Was slick as glass and climbing upon 1t vas impossible. I was maklrs a few last feeble kicks when something arose out of the water just beside me.
 What do you think that was? 1 coudn't believe it at first and rubbed ny eyes, but the thing did not disappear. There floating about on the water was the pretliest mermaid ever seen by mortal man or described in fictitious history. 1 Immediately became like statue. Yes SIT, l stood as straight in that water as if I had been pine tree. She smiled at me and l became practically crazy. A dozen more maids arose out of the wa ter, each one exactly like her. Then l became light as feather. l cared for nothing. It was one effervescent y of happiness.
 Then the thirteen mermaids joined hands and swam around me, singing wild sweet song that caught my mind and literally twisted it around every note. Then with one long melodious note the whole crowd bounced upon me and started sinking in the water Down, down, down, deeper and deeper. Huge fishes, small fishes inhabitants of the sea of every kind hoated by my face. Sud- denly we were joined by another crowd of mermaids, each exactly the same as the others; each one smiling and causing a thrill to run through me every glance they gave me. Deeper and deeper, then we touched the bottom.
 Just as l touched my feet on the bot tom a creature. the likeness of which 1t is impossible to describe. came rushing towards us. Strangely like a man it was, with long white beard stretching beyond the reach of my eyes behind him. As he rushed towards us the mer- maids fell grovelng to the ground, and hid their faces in the sand that lined the bottom of the ocean. The monster reached out two long arms, black and scrawny, with fingers fairly writhing. I thought he would catch me with them and squeeze me to death, but just before he could touch me one of the mermaids who had first arisen out of the water sprang in front of me and throwing one arm around my neck, began that song which the mermaids had sang on top of the water. The creature dropped his arms and in a voice loud, but strangely said: I am Father Neptune, What means this invasion of my aquatic realm" l endeayored to speak, but could not open my lips. Thenhe said: No mor- ta. man has ever entered my depths and returned to his people alive. As in the past. so 1t Is now. At this the mer- maid began her plaintve tune again, and Father Neptune said One chance will give him. A game of checkers will
  Land he shall return, but if he loses his life is mine But first. that growth of hair upon his face must be removed
 What do you thing the old fellow did then? He turned and gave one long whistle, and before the sound had died away another creature came rushing through the water l jumped to nf lie ub I ;t an immense sword fish. It was coming straight towards me and l jumped to get out of it's path but the mermalds held me tight and would not let me move. l thought the point of his sword would hit me in the face, but it went sliding by my cheeck After it had passed my face it turned and came rushing back on the other side brushing my cheek on that side. as it had done the other. Again 1t turned and this time rushed across my face, brushing my chin as it passed. Then 1t reversed and rushed by my face again. sliding across my up- per lip this time; then 1t dIsa ppeared. | me and I placed my hand to my face and found to my astonishment that the heavy | growth of beard which l had had on my face was gone and the skin was as smooth as that of baby.
 Father Neptune had looked on dur l Ing this operation, while the look upon his face grew meaner and meaner. As soon as the swordtish had left he roared | Now for the gamer Then the strangest ]