The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-06-02
SOME INVENTORS
 HAVE ODD IDEAS Many Queer Models Reach the
 Patent Office MIR. LINC0LNS INVENTION Once Designed an "Unsinkable" Steamer That Was FlgraI Fall ure-An Automatic Cat An
 nlhllator.
MIR. LINCOLN'S INVENTION

From the Kansas City Star.
 The craziest offsprings of the human brain may be found in the freak inven- tions which go forth from the United States patent office at Washington:
 Almost daily some inventive genius of- fers model of something which will benefit the world at large, and perhaps within the same hour a visoinary seeks a patent on some rattle-brain idea which he avows will cause people to live 600 years. if they will follow instructions on the perfect system of physical cul- ture."
 These freak models, ideas and sugges- tions are mirth provoking, yet the exam iners in the several divisions ar required to give the same careful consideration to the "patentable" merits of each and every cratic application that they would to the most valuable offering of Edison or any of the other great inventors. The law requires this, and there Is no dodg- ing the labor.
 LlncoIn's Idea.
 President Lincoln was among the first to offer an impracticable device-an un- sinkable steamer--tne model of which Is still among the assets of the patent office in the freak model room MT. Lincoln sought and obtained patent on his steamer In 1S49 but the patent was all he ever got, the "unslnkable steamer proving a rank failure. Soon after this patent was issued another man came along with a ''velocipede boat and 1t shared the same fate as the "unsinkable steamer" An eccentric inventors model is for a life-saving appliance, a chair in which a shipwrecked person has only to lash himself and float In ease and com fort, supporting life with supply of hardtack slowed in a drawer In the chair. There Is also corset with air tight compartments, designed for life saving purposes.
 Another man of large ideas contrived and perfected (as he thoughD ma- chine for boring through the earth, and this model is still nightmare for cer- tain examiners in the office. Still an other had a scheme for signaling and talking to the people of Mars. his plan being to have grand illumination by means of fireworks simultaneously all over the globe. A man from Califor- mia who believed 1t not impossible to visit Mars submitted a model of a wood- en man with wings, in shape and move ment like those of bird. The wings are strapped to the shoulder by band that goes over his chest and comes out under his arms. There Is tail also like a birds, and the wings and tall are con- trolled by the inward movement of the arms. which are harnessed to them by straps. But there are large number of models of flying machines. and some of them are about as freakish as the California mans.
 A Bed For Late Rlsers.
 An inventive genius, evidently im- pressed with the necessity of getting down to business in the early morn ing hours, and believing that the 'early' bird catches tie worm" patented a bed which he guaranteed capable of wooing the sleeper sll through the night, but at tho first cock crow 1t wouldt hurl the sleeper mercilessly to the floor The model of the bed loks like a wholesome, motherly bed, full of gentleness and re- post, but 1t is not. It ''bucks' likek a oroncho at the proper time. As a com panion piece to this bed. the late Chief Justics Logan D. Bleckley of Georgia patented device for adjusting the cov- CTS so that the temperature of the bed could be regulated.
 man from New York patented & 'buried alive coffin" so arranged that the WDllOm QedQ man COulu get out or call assistance. The model shows an ordinary burial box, at the head end of which is a square opening to receive the lower end of an elongated box or trough large enough for man to crawl through. This trough is set on end, the lower end over the face and chest of the cas- ket's occupant, and the other projects a foot or more over the top of the grave. wooden stick or arm Is nailed to one side of the upper or outer end, upon which a bell Is hung. To this bell is attached a cord which runs down the trough and Is tied to the mans hand in the coffin. In case of his awaken ing a slight movement will suffice to ring the bell, and the sexton can do the rest -dig him out
 A Sheetiron Cat.
 A man who really wanted to benefit mankind patented sheetiron cat, fe- line operated by clockwork and with a bellows inside which swells up it's tail and causes sounds that would awaken an entire neighborhood. The cats claws are of steel. When the animal is wound up and placed on a roof it is ready to deal death blows to every midnight proving cat that comes near. Still an- other inventor was given a patent on a pasteboard cat covered with phosphorus. so that it shines in the dark. It is to be used for frightening afr rats and