The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1907-02-03
NAMES OF NEW WORKERS.
Having Fun With the Directory of the
Bio City.


You have all heard and most of you
have told the story of the man who
didn't care to read the dictionary be-
cause the subject changed so often.
This is Of course, n funny way of say
ing that the dictionary is dry book.
However. one might perhaps extract
amusement even from Il dictionary ii
he knew how. Certainly he can get
entertainment from a city directory.
Take. for instance. our own new city
directory That it has more names
than its immediate predecessor aud
that this indicates that New York has
grown just as much in population in
just such time-these things go with
out saying.
But what reference is made in the
directory to that great matter of Love,
which has ruled the world for no one
knows how many years? Go through
the book, dear reader, and You will
find that it contains forty-seven Loves.
one Heart and one Lover. There are
twenty Spooners. two Huggers, sixty
one Darlings, three Bears. five Petts.
three Sparks, six Kisses, three SmarkS
and ten Hugs
A study of the directory shows, too.
that, despite its boosted democracy.
New York is endowed with five and II
half columns of Kings. twelve Queens.
one column of Princes. tWentyfcur
Dukes. thirty eight Earls and eighty
two Lords. There are sixteen Castles
e.. all tI,S a
The spiritual welfare of the city
ought TO be well looked after also, for
we fnd listed sixty-three Popes four
Cardinals. l32 Abbots, nine Abbeys.
eleven Priests. twenty Parishes, two
Chapels thirty eight Elders, Il column
and three-puarters of Parsons, two col
umns OF Deans, twelve Deacons. Il col
umn of churches forty eight Sections.
twcnty-eight Christians and eight Ri
blps.
1t speaks pretty well for New York 8
sobriety and general good character
that Notwithstanding the vast number
of people whose names are in the oil
rectory there are only two Lushers,
one Bum fourteen Bunns, thirteen
Bats. four f.usheS. fifteen Stills. one
Rranigen three i.ndes and one BooZ.
In the matter of smoking great tenn
pearance is shown. too. for there are
listed but one Smoker, one Pipe and
one Smoke.
Father Knickerboclier' barber shop
| is well filed. 1t has SiXty-seven Bar
beers and five Shavers quite Il bunch
| to look after only thirty Boards and
one HAIRCUT it has one Pole out and
is ready to do more business.
| There are four and one-half columns
of Bakers fourteen Rolls. one Cake
bread and one Pies. and lie is a Har
| lem baker. by the way.
| That New York is still Il young town
! is shown ny The fact that there are
seven columns of loungs and Only six
| Odds. The comparison of seven Fats
as against one Skinner doesn't consti-
tute II bad showing either
Considering the greatness and good
ness of the biz burg. it is hard to see
| why the directory should hand it tWer
/ ty-one Lemons. The fact that we have
| also Fifteen Apples. eighteen Citr0ns,
/ five Oranges. i've Peaches. one Grape,
/ three Flulns ANA one Pear doesl
make entire amends. but New York
isn't going to cry about it. 1t is too
! light hearted, for as the directory
shows. ii has eighteen Joys and seveh
! Happes TO only one Tear
/ The first name in the directory Ia
jacques Aa. and the last name is Louis
Zyss There ara twelve names that
begin with y, nine columns of Joneses,
| thrty-five columns of Smiths. two col
umns of John Smiths and nineteen col
umns of BrosnS.-New York World.