The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1907-09-07

wH SHOT HIS LEFT EAR OFF"
himsout The ear has been in jar of
alcohol ever since, and the other day
the Judge began suit ngainst us to re-
coYerith souvenir, he wants tostitch
on and see ifitwon't grow. To the
sttaight shooter belongs the spoils, and
ven tight the thing clear to the high
est court
Our esteemed contemporary insists
thathe fired six shots at US as we were
coming home from a poker party last
Tuesday night and that If we had Civ
en- him six more chances he could have
dropped us. Sorry for him, poor old
chapl But Is 1t ever to be thusH
Not as editor, postmaster, deputy
United States marshal or mayor Of
Giyeadam Gulch, but rs plain Jim He'll
Sol we rode our horse in a race over
at Lone Pine the other day and scoop
ed In $100 In cash to buy. silk under
shirts for such members of congress as
are NOT owned by any trust and must
practice economy.
Some critter who didn't have time to
sign his name writes us from Santa
re that he will arrive in this town In
about two weeks and shoot six redhot
bullets into our despicable carcass.
Good! Things are going little slow.
and5we'd like a change. Kick open the
door Of our sanctum and come right in.
party named 4Bull" Williams, who
was hanging around the Gulch three
or four months ago and who refused
to let the vigilance committee hang
him gently by the neck, went of to
Utah and was lynehed the other day
by an excited mob. How few men
know what's good for 'em!
Several letters have reached us ask
/ ing US to define our position, editorial
III. as to the next presidential Candi-
date. Not by joyful! We are hold
ing three government positions, and
ne don't propose to lose them by COM
ing out now and yawping for some
particular man who may not come
within gunshot Of securing the nomlna
4 ton. We wish the country well, but
we wish ourself better.
The air Of Arizona is braclng and
the territory is full OF grand scenery,
but II we were stranger to the people
we should neither take the air nor
view the scenery from IN auto. Our
people as a people can't get used to
anything going on four wheels. It's n
four, legged country. Come on a cay.
use and you viii find hospitablC vel.
come,
AT the last meeting Of the common
council City Marshal Day offered his
testgnation, and tile same was accept
ed He had served four months, and
during TINT time was wounded five
times. BE thinks he got too many bull
lets for the salary received. Any good
two handed shooter who wants a
STEADY income Of SIC per week will I'D
dress or apply to US as mayor. In case
Of death he win be buried at the ex-
Dense Of the city.
we got IN Idea the other day that
the mail from. Pine Valley ought to be
expedited, and we rode out on the
trail for seven miles and then turned
in3behlnd the loahng mail rider and be-
gan yelling and shooting. 1t was a
success. The mail was expedited by
a full half hour md the carrier rode
Into the Guleh TO claim that gang of
i've highway robbers had tried to hold
him up. IL Is such little incidents as
this that endear Vi to the heart Of the
postmaster general and bring oil petit
tions for oursremoyalst naught
We were coming back from Lone
Jack die other day5in something Of 9
hurry being mounted on our plebald
broneho; when, The crossing Of Dog
creek d road agent tried TO hold ius up.
I'VE tod him we'd see him later and