The daily Alaskan., 1907-09-17
Wears tho Wrong Hat.

ed to know if I'd run against @ barber pole"
 Wears tho Wrong Hat,
 "That Is your painting hat, and had lt hidden away on a shelf You must have had to spend ten minutes looking for It and there you had two good ones on the hall tree. You are a very care less man, Nlr. BowseE.'.
 That's your usual song" he growled, "but will you tell me why you can't stay home now and then and darn my socks? Both ut these have got holes In the heels large euohgh to drive dog through Is !, any wonder that | have C0ns and buu.0ns and have to hobble about ike am old turkey with frozen feetg"
 'Wiu you please take oU your shoe" she asked
 Yes. l will, and l wish that all the husbands and wives on this block were here Co see what I have to undergo. There. Do you see them: Holes, Mrs. Bowser-b-o-l-e-s.
 Where did you get those socks this monIugE'
 Out of the sock bag, Of course"
 And in the lower drawer of your dresser are at least six new pairs you have never had on your feet.'
 Mir. Bowsrr was taken aback for a moment but soon rallied and said:
 But what can a husband expect of a wife whose minister leaves the gate wide open for. stray hogs to come In and root up a thousand dollars worth Of flowers. The gas Jill ought to show decrease of at least a dollar rhis month. but you've kept the burn CTS going night and day In your eL- travagant way, aud the bin Is probably S8 more. By John. but no wonder that a man on the car the other day asked me why I didn't get 0L the earth. thought he meant it for au insult, but ! see now that be had been studying my face and he pItied me. He realized that l must long for rest"
 And fl you meet him again" said Mrs. .Bowser-us she reached for the gas bill on the mantel, you might show him that the bill for this month Is only half what it vas for the pre- cedlng one"
 "Humph! Some hocus pocus about that I suppose that front doorbell Is out of order again by this time, You cant be satisfied to press the button same as other folks. but you must jnb ar ic with a crowbar. Fifty dollars to get that lurecnal bell fixed again"
 ~It has been repaired Just once in the last three years, and the charge was 50 cents. The batteries had run out
 House Repairs Too Much.
 But didn't the cook say something a day or two ago about the lock on tho Kitchen door being broken: Of course she did. Took hammer and stood there deliberately and pounded away, and you encouraged her. l sat down this afternoon and figured up that the repairs on this house solely on your account cost me SlOO00 year"
 They don't cost thousand ceuts,' replied Mrs. Bowser. "I have the bills all filed away. and looked them over last week aud found the cost less than S5. Twice you have blown up the fur mace. and three times you have busted water pipes, but l am not responsible for that"
 But Tn telling you that you have bought and wasted over 50O00 dozen clothesDlns In the last twelve months" shouted Nir. Bowser as he brought his fist down on his knee with a bang.
 'I have bought Just four dozen. and all but five are in the basket now Come down and looE.'
 yIr. Bowsrr had no case. He knew he hadn't 1.nrn he begun. lie had been met ut uI poia,s and defeated. and his only recourse was to clap on nls hat and start oT with tue ohserVo- rI0n.
 ,.Drlveu from home, Driven from ny own frcsldr hy the cNrayagance of my wife. Driven to the river to end ulI"'
 But two hours later he sofuys enter sd the house and crrpt into bed with out word As he wandered the streets two tramps whom he turned down took after him and ran him to hls own doorstegs and chilled his blood with dire threats. M. QUAD.