Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1907-06-13
UNCLE DICKY ON THE WEATHER.

these past few weeks, and it was surprise
to the store loafers when he broke out in a
fresh place Saturday night.
"Well, fellers. I've jist erbout iggered
out what'ssa- maxim sich ornery whether
it's lecricity, sure ez gums iron. =
"Come off, Dick'y, read that in the Reek-
ord an now yer tryin' t. work it off on us
ez your idee, replied Bert
''Now, look here, BERTHE, I've bin study
in this here thing hull month-but that
other feller got his idees inter print ahead
o. me, but never heered anybody advance
sich an idee afore, but iist coDiered it outen
me own ole noddle."
"How's lecricity goin t. feet th' wheath-
er ?" inquired "Chod,'' showing his bat
back, displaying his LATEST waterfall, and
mimicking Uncle Dicks voice.
"Well, ez I hev worked if out it's this
way: these here fellers thet make lightnin'
out o. magnets an w'eels an set it t.
lightin' up tn worp an runnin' rail-
roads, an cookin' grub an million
other things Ter iist like lot o. little
younguns monkeyin' with lot o. delikit
machinery they don't know nuthin' erbout.
s'This here big universe nv ours is iist a
dray big machine run be lecricity an now
sence sum human smarties hez got t. swi-
PIN sum o. th' lightnin' T. run things on
th' earth they've jist chucked things out o.
gear an made an awful mess ny it.
ether wuzn't no trouble vile they tele-
grated an telefoamed with this here fac
tory lightnin', but wen they got & drawin'
of th' juice nv TIL universe be TIL billion
bar'ls au' usin' it T. do wat coal an water
wuz put here t. do, then we begin T. git
earthquakes, storms, frosts sich l never
hserd dad er gran dad tell on, an its gone
on t'well these onreg'lar seasons is erbout
gorn t. cause famine in the earth an ther'
wont be nuthin' for this here stole light
MIN I do.1
'sUncle Dieky, can you tell rs just how,
in your opinion, the use of electricity inter-
fesps wish tne weather ~ asked Oscar,
superintendent of the village electric light
plant.
swell, yas, $ fur ez kin fgger it its
this way: th' sun an th' earth an th' moon
er all run be lecricity like mighty big belts,
an, th' belt thet runs th' weather in our
worl' runs eroun' th' earth north an south
an fetches us winter, spring, summer an
fall with th' right kind o. weather erlong
with 'em, but these here lecricity machines
hey kinder busted th' belt, an SO we git all
sorts NV mixed-up weather, an it won't
come right again 'twell this here lightnin'
swipin' is broke up.''
ssBut, Uncle Richard,p ? broke in the
Supervising Principal, 1--WE have record Of
all these meteorological disturbances long
before electricity was discovered do
you account for that ?'
II didn't say nuthin' erbout 'meterlogi-
lcle' sturbences' watcher talkin' erbout?"
s'I was speaking about the weather and
the commercial uses Of electricity, and ask
ing how you account for the kind Of
weather we are getting now that prevailed
before electricity was discovered"
ssOh, hain't y never read erbout tn
Chinese heYin Iecricity machines thousands
NV years ergo an doin' away with 'em
cause they brung weather thet killed all
ther' tea an froce all ther' ellyfents t
/ ldeath-hain't " never read history ?''
ssYes, / have read some history, but
never came across that, "reioined the educa'
tor, after the laugh had subsidized"
] '.Well, theirs hull lot thet none ny Ut
know for certain, but / b'lieye thet lee
ricity stealth ez sponsible fer th' ornerJ
weather we're hayin', though CAM
| proye it is any more then you eddicated
fellers kin prove thet it taint''-aud witt
this clincher Uncle Dicky made for home.
i JOHN R. DoWNER.