davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02
Airs Fair In Love and War.

a soldier belonging to a brigade in
command of a general who believed in
a celibate army asked permission to
marry, as he had two good conduct
badges and money In the savings bank.
"Well, go away" said the general,
'and If you come back to me a year
from today in the same frame of mind
you shall marry, I'll keep the va
cancy."
On the anniversary the soldier re-
reated his request.
"But do you really, after a year.
want to marryT" inquired the general
in a surprised tone.
eyes. sir; very much"
Sergeant major, take his name
down. Yes. you may marry. l never
believed there was so much consistency
in mar or oma Right face: quick
march!"
As the man left the room. turning
his head, he said, "Thank you, sir; bu'
it isn't the same woman."-Ladics
Homo Journal.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02

"yvould it he awsking too much. Sir.
to ave YOU repeat your horder, sir: !
cawn't think l ave it right. sir, y
know"
1.-TWO eggs" said the American sad
~ and patiently. lone fried on one
side and one on the other.
More oppressive silence and another
and fainter Every well, sir
This time he was gone still longer.
When he returned, his collar was un-
buttOned, his hair disheveled and his
face scratched and bleeding. Leaning
over the waiting patron, he whispered
b~eseechingly:
"Would you mind tyking boiled
heggs, sir? I've had some words with
the cook"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02
Isaac and the Angel.

Old isaac was a devout Christian. 1t
was his custom when his work was
done to retire to his cabin and devote
himself to worship until bedtime. His
earnest and frequent announcements
that he was always ready to meet his
"L.awd'' had been so often heard that
some boys decided to test Isaac's faith.
One night, while he was under full
Roadway: 20 L.awd. we know dy long
suf'rin' fur dis beni'tcd sinner, but we
feel. Q Lawd. dat in dy love we will be
| srahed dy vangins and RAT. We are al
| ways reddy. Iawd. ut dy biddin' to
| cum and meet dy angel Gabriel. Send
him. @ Lawd. wild his shinin' trumpit.
| his robes oh glory and his crown oh
life. and take dy poh sahvant into dy
vineyard
"Isaac. lsaac!" came in deep sepul,
chral tones down the chimney.
".Amen." softly said Isaac, closing
his prayer abruptly and rising, wit!
fear and trembling.
"Isaac. Isaac" came the still dread
full tones.
"Who-ho-ho's dat?' stammered the
awe stricken negro.
1.-THE angel of the Lord has come fol
lsaacr!
Isaac hesitated. and then, with ,
show of enforced courage, it came:
de Lawd bless you, dat old nigge1
hain't been here for a week."
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02

board fully considered the same and
found that there were moi sufficient
grounds for closing the road.
The board were unanimous in award
ing Henry Hagen the contract for re-
pairing the ice breakers in the Mis-
souri, river at Fort Benton for the sum
of 81, 16O.
The contract for the Miners coulee
fill was awarded to Joseph Milligan
for 50, $50.
The contract tor constructing the
Teton river ditch and for ~rip-raping
the banks OF the Teton river near the
bridge was awarded to Thos. Stewart
for the sum of 81, 700.
The board then adjourned sine die.
w. r, LEFT, Clerk,
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02
Come Word. With tho Cook.

He was a sad faced American tour
list, and as he seated himself In a Lon
don restaurant he was Immediately at
tended by an obsequiOus waiter.
II want two eggs" said the .Ameri-
can, zone fried on n side and n on
the other"
"'Ow is that, sir?"
1.-TWO eggs-one fried on one side and
one on the other"
"Very well. sir"
The waiter was gone several min
utes. When he returned, his face was
q study.
"Would you please repeat your hor
iler, STRIP
II said very distinctly-two eggs. "n>
.ried on one side and one on the other
Oppressive silence and then Il 1a2et
sVery we'll, sir"
This time he was gone longer. ~
when he returned he said anXious!y
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02

BUTTE, Sept. 9.-With q view to
relieving distress from a possible coal
famine in Butte during the coming
winter, and also that those out Of en-
p.oyment or working on one-third time
may secure coal at cost, the Miners
union, the Engineer union and the
Mill and Smeltermen's union are ne
gotiating for a large winter sapply.
to be distributed under the direction
of the various unions mentioned.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02
No Need For Pensions.

A traveller in the orient, who was
picking up material for a book, asked a
pasha: "Is the civil service like ours?
Are there retiring allowances and pen
sions?"
my illustrious friend" replied the
pasha, 'Allah is great, and the public
tunctionary who stands in need Of a
retiring allowance when his term of
ONCE expires is a fool"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02

arms, Of considerable size. She suffered
q jgreat deal and for three weeks We
nursed her every night, using all the
remedies we could think of. Nothing
would help. We then remembered
having heard so much about Cuticura
Remedies. We sent for them and after
t~wenty-four hours we noted considerable
Improvement, and. after using only one
complete set of the Cuticura Remedies,
in five consecutive days the little one
much to our JOY. had been entirely cured.
and has been we'll for a long time. Mrs.
F. Ruefenacht, h. F. D.3 Bakersfield.
CAL, June 25 and July 20, 1906"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02
Ready For the Next Customer.

my rubber" said Nat Goodwin. de-
scribing a Turkish bath that he once
had In Mexico, twas a very strong
man. He laid me on a slab and knead-
ed me and punched me and banged me
in a most emphatic way. When it was
over and I had got up, he came up
behind me before my sheet was adj
justed and gave me three resounding
slaps on the bare back with the palm
Of his enormous hand.
"'What in blazes are you doing? !
gasped, staggering.
"'NO offense, SIR said the mar. 1t
was only to let the Office know that l
was ready for the next bather. You
see, sir, the bells out of order in this
oom.'"-Everybody's.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02
Ready For the State Fair.

HELENA, Sept. 28.-There il every
assurance that the fifth annual state
fair, which opens here Monday, will
be the most successful held 80 far.
While q good many exhibits have not
yet been installed. they are on the
grounds and everything will be in
shape for visitors by Monday.
The county collective exhibits and
the livestock are the two strong fea-
lures in the display this year. 1t 10
declared that the livestock show will
be the best In the northwest.
A number of meetings will be held
here during the week. The most i'm
portant is the annual convention of
the Montana Woolgrowers' associa.
citation, which will take up the ques.
tions of the administration of the for.
est reserve and public domain of the
west by the government. Senator T.
H. Garter and T. J. Walsh will ad-
dress the convention on these subjects.
The meeting begins Wednesday and
ends Friday.
The same days the Montana Press
association will hold its annual meet.
ing here, and indications are that 1t
| will be we'll attended.
Wednesday the Montana Medical
Veterinarians associ alton convenes
ia DR.. knowles office at the capitol
building.
Tuesday and Wednesday the second
annual convention of the Anti. saloon
League of Montana will be held at St.
Paul's Methodist Episcopal church.
The railroads have made a special
rate of one fare for the round trip,
which has been one of the reasons for
so many conventions being bald here
| next week.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02
The Sun q Foreigner.

"Sunset" Cox's most successful sally
at his opponents In congress was his
resolutions against free sunshine, made
when there was a fight on against low
ering the duty on coal:
Resolved. That all windows, sky
lights, inside and outside shutters. cur
tains and blinds shall be permanently
closed, as also all openings. holes,
chinks, clefts and assures through
which the light and heat Of the sun
have been allowed to enter houses, to
the prejudice and injury of meritorious
miners and dealers in gas coal, to pro-
tect domestic industry"
For the sun is a foreigner" ex-
planned Mr.. Cox. "He comes from
abroad, and we must shut out the light
Of the sun in order to crafty these
Pennsylvania gentlemen who have a
monopoly of this article Of coal"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02
HUMOR ON FACE
Cured by cuticura Remedies
No Return in 40 Years.

"My son, when a lad of sixteen. was
troubled with humor on his face and
after using Cuticura Remedies he was
freed from every humor and has con
tinued so to the present time after
twenty years have passed. Your Cuti-
cura Soap has been used in my family
for several years and l have faith in the
Cuticura Remedies. A. H. Smith,
Marion, Me-, Dec. l, 1905"
Every Humor OF Infants, Children. and Adults. con-
sists Of Cu,icura Soap (.5ch to Cleanse the skin ,nn.
Cura Resp,vent (5Oc>, lin. the form OF Chocolate
Coated Pills. 25c. per vial OF COZ to Purify the Blood.
Sold Throughout the world. Potter Drug X Chem.
Corp. Sole Props, Boston. Mass.
NJ Mailed Free. Booklet on Skin Humors.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02
A BOY TO BE P1TIED.

A BOY TO BE PITIED.
God help the boy who never sees
The butterflies. the birds. the bees.
Nor hears the music Of the breeze
When zephyrs soft are blowing:
Who cannot In sweet comfort lie
Where clover blooms are thick and
high
And hear the gentle murmur nigh
OF brooklets softly flowing!
God help the boy who does not know
Where all the woodland berries grow:
Who never sees the forests glow
When leaves are red and yellow:
Whose childish feet can never stray!
For such a hapless boy I say
When nature does her charms display
God help he little fellow!
Nixon Waterman.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02
What an amendment" May Do.

"Such an amendment said Senator
Tillman during Il debate, would de
stroy the bills meaning, rs the mean
ing Of the epitaph on old John
Skinn's tombstone was destroyed. The
amendment that was tackled to Johns
epitaph consisted of one word
friend 1t was put on in the dead of
night. The epitaph before that read
He did his best"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02
One on the President.

When President Roosevelt alighted
ut Red Hill. Va, to see his wife's new
cottage he noticed that an elderly wo-
IA was about to board the train and
rushed forward to assist her. That
done. he grasped her hand and gave it
| an 'eXecutivc shake"
The woman, snatching her hand
away, exclaimed, Young man, l don't
know who you are, and l don't care Il
cent. but ! must say you are the fresh
est somebody I've ever seen in these
parts
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02
Fox Hunting In a Greenhouse.

The only fox hunting I have ever
done was OF board an impetuous, tough
mouthed, fore and aft horse that had
emotional insanity. AS I was away
from home and could not reach my
own horse l was obliged to mount n
spirited steed with high, intellectual
hips, one white eye and a big red nos
tril that you could set a Shanghai hen
in. This horse, as soon as the pack
broke into a full cry, climbed over a
fence that had wrought iron briers on
leg through a SER and yellow pump
kin, which he wore the rest of the day.
with seven yards Of pumpkin vine
streaming out behind, and away we
dashed cross country.
l remained mounted because l hated
to get off in pieces.
We did not see the fox, but we saw
almost everything else. I remember
riding through a dollhouse, and how l
enjoyed It! A morning scamper through
a conservatory when the syringas and
jonQuils and jack roses lie cuddled up
together In their little beds is a thing
to remember and look back to and pay
for. To stand knee deep in glass and
gladioli, to smell the mashed and
mussed up %mignonette and the last
fragrant sigh Of the scrunchcd hello
trope beneath the hOof Of your horse
while far away the deep mouthed bay
ing of the hoarse hounds, hotly hug
| cling the reeking trail Of the aniseeG
bag, calling on the ~gorgeously capari
| soned hills to give back their mcrr!
| music, is joy to the huntsman's heart
Bill Nye.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02
Afternoon Session.

The board met at the usual hour
with all the members present, and
| opened the bids as advertised.
Joseph Milligan proposed to make
the fill at Miners coulee for the sun
of 81, $50, and enclosed a certified check
for $245.
Henry Hagen proposed to repair the
two ice breakers above the Fort Ben
ton bridge for the sum of 81. LOO.
Thomas Stewart proposed to cOn-
struct the Teton ditch, furnish all ma
terial and tools, and do the work ac-
cOrding to the estimate OF $3.50 cubic
yards for 81. 800, and to move the eN-
cess over that figure for the sum of %
cents per cubic yard.
Mr.. Stewart also proposed to rip
rap the bank of the Teton river, as
per advertisement, for 81 POO, provided
the rock work is not required to be of
a greater thickness than one foot.
In the matter of the petition for a
county road from station No. , on
~Flanagan's change to East Havre,
filed July Is, 1907, the following view
ers We're re-appointed: w. S. Young,
Edw ard West and H. w. Roys.
In the matter of the petition referring
to the county road known as the Olson
road, filed July 20, 1907. the petition
was granted and the same was declared
to be a public highway. The road su.
pervisOr of district No. % was direct.
ed to open the same to the public, and
the county surveyor was directed tC
survey and plat the same and file pla1
and field notes with the county clerk
In the matter of opening the ole
road from Chinook to Paradise valley
the clerk was directed to notify tn,
road supervisor of district No. "a tt
at III open said road to the public
In the matter of the petition for /;
county road from Paradise valley tt
Snake creek, filed July 81, 1907, tn,
following viewers We're appointed: H
Is. Hermes. John Drummer and JOIN
Luke.
In the matter of the protest awains
the opening of the old county roa.
from Chinook to Paradise valley. tn
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02
The Pot and the Kettle,

Z! "A portly German Of obvious Hebraic
ancestry boarded a Broadway car. He
handed the %cOnductor-a ruddy faced
Irishman-a transfer not good on that
particular line. The inevitable wrangle
followed, in which much vehement Ian
guage found expression. colored with a
strong Hibernian flavor and an I'M
mistakable Teutonic accent.
At length the fat German rose, but
before he left the car shook his fist in
the conductors face and exclaimed,
with profound contempt: "You! You
are no American citissen! You have
not yet lost your broc-que."-Lippin
colts.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02
- The ~
Scra~ Book
Not In the Army After All.

A Methodist negro eXhorter shouted,
"Come up en- jine de army OBJ de
LOhd.."
"1's done jined," replied M of the
congregation.
"Whar'd yoh jine!" asked the ex-
horter.
I'm de Baptis' church."
"Why, chile, yoh amt in the army!
Yoh's in de navy"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02
The Reporters Version.

When Helicnn hall. Upton Sinclair's
Utopian COLONY. burned down. among
those injured was Mrs. Grace Mac
Gowan Cooke. the we'll known author,
A youthful reporter on II Of the biz
New York dailics. eager to get his
story in the first edition, wrote hur.
ricdly that Grace MacGowan. the
cook. suffered from serious burns"
Which reminds ~lippincott's Of n
typographical error in one of Ella
Wheeler WilcoX's poems, The Author
had written Il sonnet containing this
line:
Ny soul is Il lighthouse keeper.
To her aUaHemcrt the verse read In
print;
My SOU IS I light housekorner,
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02

sever years naO
been cured of the
measles, she was
attacked about q
fortnight later by
q furious, itching
and painful erup-
ton all over her
body, especially
) the upper partof
I it, form i n &
~wateryand bleed
ing sores, espe-
cially under the
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02
OFFICIAL PROCEEDINGS
Of the Board of County Commission.
ers of Chouteau County, at Their
Special September Session,
1907.
FIRST DAY.

Fort Benton. Mont, Sept. 20. 1907.
The board met at 10 o'clock a. m.
The members present were Jere Sulli-
van, O. G. Skylstead, Alex. Ross and
the clerk.
The board took up road matters as
follows:
In the matter of the Miner Hill
Lepley road, action on same was de-
ferred pending report of last viewers
appointed by the board.
In the matter of the Mitchell coulee
road, further action was deferred un-
til deeds for right of way, free of
charge, have been furnished.
In the matter OF a county road from
the Reser's ranch and North Fork
road to the Canadian line, filed Sep.
TENDER Sd, 1907, the following viewers
were appointed: Thomas Dowen, Fred
Prosser and Carl Boldt.
Action on the petition for q county
road from Zortman to C0burn's ranch,
filed July IA, 1905, was deferred await
ing right of way from the interior de-
partment of the United States.
Action on the petition for a county
road from the Kennedy road to join
the Rannell road, filed March 6, 1905,
action was deferred awaiting the re.
port of the viewers.
In the matter of the petition for a
change in the county road from Tort.
man to Wilder's Landing, filed Sep
TENDER I, 1905, action was deferred
awaiting the report of the viewers.
In the matter of the petition for a
county road from Harlem to Woody
Island creek at Maloney's, filed No.
vember 10. 1906, action was deferred
awaiting the viewers report.
In the matter of the petition for a
change in the county road from bod
3, 1906, action was deferred until the
December meeting, awaiting the re-
port of the viewers.
p. m.
Afternoon Session.
The board met at the usual hou,
with all the members present, and con
tinued with road matters.
In the matter of the petition for
county road known as the Bryant.
Gray road, filed June 6, 1907, actor
was deferred until Commissioner Sui
livan makes report.
In the matter of the change of the
location of the bridge at Chester, &C
ton was deferred until a legal peti
ton is received for the above men
toned change.
In the matter of the petition for
county road from Cronk's to the Co
burn-Canadian line road, filed Sep
TENDER 4. 1907, the following viewer:
were appointed: Chas. Sadler, w. 4
McDaniels and Vernon Butler.
In the matter of the petition for
county road from Nine-Mile hill t
Martins, filed August II, 1907, the fol
lowing viewers we're appointed: Bel
Vaudeville, Fred Thies and Lew viii
liams.
In the matter of a change in thu
county road near Chester, viewer
were appointed as follows: l.. erich
ton, H. G. Eversmeyer and John Z
TrOmmer.
In the matter of a change in tn,
county road known as the Powell
road, filed July %, 1907, the followin!
viewers were appointed: f.. Nj. Ken
needy, S. A. Gillander and j. w
Hart.
The board then adjourned until l
O'Clock a. IN. Saturday.
SEcnNn nav
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02
His Secret.

"You ought not to work such long
hours. Surely your boss a get along
without you part of the time"
"Sure he can, but l don't want him
to find it out"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02
Why He Was Sad.

why ne was Sao.
"Oh, my friends" exclaimed the ora
tor. 1T makes me sad when I think of
the days that are gone, when l look
around and miss the old familiar faces
I used to shake hands With"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02

The WEEKLY RIVER PRESS is a good
newspaper to send away friends
in the east. 1t will save you the trou-
BILE OF writing letters
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02
FURIOUS ITCHING
HUM0R ON CHILD
Bleeding Sores Covered Her Whole
Body After an Attack Of Measles
-Nursed Every Night for Three
Weeks - Nothing Helped Her.
Then CUTICURA MAKES
COMPLETE CURE IN 5 DAYS

ut is in my opinion my duty to join
those who praise the Cuticura Renee
dies, After my granddaughter Of about
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02
DAY

Fort Benton, Mont, Sept. p, 1907.
The board met at 10 O'Clock a. III.
with all the members present, and took
up road matters as follows:
In the matter of the petition for a
change in the Chinook and Snake creek
county road, filed November -, 1906,
action was deferred pending the report
of the viewers.
In the matter of the petition for a
county road from the north end of the
Teton station to Marias river road t.
the Chester-Circle ranch road, filed
April Sth, 1907, the report of the
viewers was examined and the bOar(
set - as the date for hearing
evidence for and against the proposed
road. The clerk was directed to no
tify any non-consenting land owner
of the time fixed for such hearing.
The board thereupon adjourned I'm
til , o'clock D.. m.
New-York tribune., 1907-10-18
DON'T WANT GU1RDSMEN
officer Tells Commission Corpora
tiOnS DISCHARGE Them.

The New York National Guard is most I'm need
Of new uniforms and clothing allowance. in the
opinion Of nearly all Of the officers who testified
before the Wainwright Commission yesterday.
Commissioner Wainwright concerned about
the assertion Of Captain B. T. Cummings Of the
6sth Regiment, who said that he knew OF the dis
charge OF several men because they guards
men by corporations That was. OF course, not
the reason given he said.
The first officer heard was Colonel John G. EDDY
OF the nth Regiment, Of Brooklyn who told the
commission that so should be allowed for the
clothing Of each man. and he also said that he
thought there would be dissatisfaction among
the men of his regiment If it were changed TO a
regiment Of coast artillery He believed. however,
that the organization would benefit by IT,
Lieutenant Colonel Henry &. Barthman, also OF
the 47th. favored fve-year enlistments. New uni
forms. he said. should be issued TO every recruit.
Captain Oscar Erlandsen. commanding the 1st Sig
nal Corps. favored more officers and the organza~
tion Of all signal companies in the state into one
command under a major. Captain Elliot Bgelow,
jr., OF the I'd Signal Corps said that the armories
should be rented and the proceeds devoted to mill
tary purposes. Captain David Wilson, Of the % Bat
field artillery. suggested that canteens,
troIled by the authorities, should be established
at permanent camps. He also favored new uni
forms for recruits.
Captain Cummings of the 69th then told the
commission that corporations. particularly the rail
roads and trolley lines. had no respect for tho
national guard He knew Of several cases where
had been discharged some pretence because
they were guardsmcn. Commissioner Wainwright
asked Captain Cummings to report to him the next
instance OF this kind Other witnesses were Cap
tain William r. Fcarn, Of the list Regiment, and
Lieutenant John p Everett OF the 69th