davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-07-20

A girl may have false hair and false
teeth and still be able to find a mans
heart with fine apple-dumpling.
On account OF the late spring and
the absence of hammock sparkling,
Christmas weddings are expected to
fall off materially this year.
A friend of mine feathered his nest
by marrying a rich milliner.
1t used to be the time, the place
and the girl. but on account of this
chilly, fussy old spring. 1t has been
the time, the fireside and the girl for
two months past. dated June u.
A rowboat Is a mighty poor thing
In which 10 make love.
This late spring is stopping a lot
of talk about peek-a.boo waists, any,
how
My last Christmas neckties are JUS,
about worn out. How are you getting
along with yours?
A Cincinnati girl worth 100000
married man who thought she was
poor. IL must be great to marry 8
girl like that and wake up to give
the wolf at the door the merry ha ha
Nobody hasn't sent us snake
stories In months,
1t sometimes takes a lot OF slicl
maneuvering to get that cigar out Of
your friends pocket without stealinf
It or asking for smoke point-blank
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-07-20
Strays.

When a man has water on the brain,
It really doesn't matter whether 1t is
boiled or not.
One never hears Of a clam being
criticized for talking too much.
1t is not alone the unmarried that
are disappointed In love.
When man is working on good
salary, he takes at least an hour for
lunch. When he is in the business
for himself, ten minutes is too long.
Five million dollars for heroes!
Just my luck. Nobody ever falls into
the water when l am around.
Tom Mason, discussing the mod.
ern novel, asks: "Why did the organ
peal?" Because It could not shuck,
Tom, old boy.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-07-20
Rural Rhyminu.

The man who wrestles with the COW
and learns the calves to suck, who
casts the corn before the swine is now
in greatest luck, for buffers on the
upper grade. veal's higher than kite,
fresh pork is climbing up the scale
and beef Is out of sight. The eggs he
gathers every day from out his chick,
en- coop are almost worth their weight
in gold. and we are in the soup. His
corn brings fancy prices. 1t is ri Lng
every day, and he rakes in all Kids
of cash for half ton of hay The
farmers in the saddle, and when he
comes to town, the rest of us, by right,
should go way back and then sit
down.-Mendon (Mich.) Leader.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-07-20
Bili's Reason.

Hugo Osterhaus, the new captain OF
the battleship Connecticut, praised at
a dinner in New York the old salt Of
the past.
"He has disappeared" said Capt.
Osterhaus, sadly. I'VE made fun OF
him, and before our ridicule he blush
ed and vanished.
Such stories as we used to tell
of him
One. for instance, dealt with an
old shellback's beard.
"'Why is it, Bill a youth asked
the old fellow, that you never shave
your upper lip clean?'
"'Well, we see.' Bill answered, "a
mans gotter have some place to
strike his match on"
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-07-20
Copyright. 1907. by byron Williams.

~NBS' 'S"Ns ''N'' W Ds'
Be Boy.
Come along! Come along, where the
pathway leads
To the fragrant woods of green;
Where the brooklet sings and the ivy
tlings
And the mating rain-doves preen.
Come along! Come along, where the cat
bird calls,
And the chipmunks scold and play;
Whore the fisher-boy in his realm of
JOY
Plods a-whisting on his way.
Come along! Come along where the
wild phloN waves
And the spotted-addcrs grow;
Where the world is sweet and the breezes
blend Il nectar as they blow
Come along! Come along, and forget
your cares.
Leave your troubles i'm the town;
BE II boy to-day in the good old way
And LIVE ere the NIGHT comes down!
BE boy! Be boy, BE boy once
BE boy with busted toe
BE "A boy to-day in the good old way:
And forget your manhood's woe!
just to-day! Just to-day. wear II ragged
hat,
\ patch on your dcnmed seat:
Have dog to-day that will romp and
play,
And knife that can't be beat
Bait your hook Bait your hook! Tie a
big cork on.
Cut the crotches for your pole;
Get the HOPE to-day that you had al
way
BY the mystic bulhead hole!
Keep the HOPE! Keep the HOPE, as
you leave the charm
OF the boyland, tanned and brown;
Take IT back to work with n FURNISHED
mind
And WIN ere the NIGHT comes down
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-07-20
II Made a Difference.

Tomson-I hear your engagement
with Miss Doodle Is off, How did 1t
happen?
Janson-In strict confidence. my
friend. she got mad because ] stole a
kiss.
II don't see why that should pro.
woke her-when you were engaged"
We'll, you see, stole the kiss from
another girl."-Exchange
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-07-20
Lake Good Care of II.

Remember the COW is mach'"c
which transforms feed that the da ,y
man cannot eat into milk and butter
which he can consume. It should also
be remembered that II is not possible
to put musty and tainted feed into
this machine and receive pLre and
wholesome milk therefrom
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-07-20
Mixed Voices.

Alice had been to Sunday school for
the first time and had come home
filed with information. She was over.
heard to say to her six-year-old sister,
as she laid wee hand over her
heart, when you hear something
wife here, you know It is conscience
whispering to you"
mo such thing" responded Six
year-old; ITS just wind in your tum
my."-Lippincott' Magazine.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-07-20

tressed me, looked badly and the
kidneys were noticeably deranged.
sank lower and lower until given up
and at this critical time began with
Doan's Kidney Pills. Details are I'M
necessary. Twelve boxes cured me
and weigh six pounds more than ever
before. They saved my life"
Sold by all dealers. 80 cents box
Foster.Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-07-20

fastened itself upon
me two years ago
and brought awful
headaches and dizzy
spells. | was all un-
strung, weak and
nervous, could scarce
ly tot.er about. Pains.
in the side and back
completely unnerved
me. My food dis.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-07-20
Feed Dairy Cows Literally.

The dairyman should never forget
that about 60 per cent, OF all the COW
can eat is required to sustain her
body and only after this amount is
provided can there be any returns to
him.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-07-20
A Eamo,Ia Pitcher.

Elmer Stricklett, the spit BALI
pitcher. had been listening q Ions
while In a New York club to the
Boosting of a rival.
We'll" he said, exhausted at last.
"you are pretty good, Mike; but out
in Mountain View there is young
fellow who can beat you. You'll hear
from him next season. His specially
is the slow ball. This young fellow
has such slow ball that, when he
pitches It and sees that 1t is going to
be hit, he can run after 1t and fetch 1t
back again"
He who appoints one friend to once
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-07-20

Mrs. Emma Stolt, 1869 Oneida St., APP
pleton, Wis, writes:
"Peruna has done me great deal of
good since ] began taking IL and am
always glad to speak good word for it.
"Three years ago l was in wretched
condition with backacfes, bearing down
pains, and Mt times was so sore and lame
that could not move about. had in
Examination and irritation, and although
! used different remedies they did me
no good.
"a neigh Dor who had been using Pc
runa advised me to try it, and am glad
that did. l began To improve as soon
as took 1t and | felt much better.
81 thank you for your fine remedy. 1t
is certainly u godsend 10 sick women.
Catsrrh of the Internal Organs.
>, Miss Theresa Bertles, White Church,
)Mo. writes:
II suffered with catarrh of the stom-
ach, bowels and internal organs. Every
thing / ate. seemed to hurt me. never
had n passage of the bowels without taxi
ing medicine. was so tired mornings
and achcd all over. had pain in my
left side, and the least exertion or excite-
ment made me short of breath.
"Now, after taking Peruna for six
months, am as well as ever was. Pc
runa has worked wonders for me. l be-
lieve Peruna is the best medicine in the
world,and recommend it tomyfriends."
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-07-20
A STOCK SALT BOX.
How a Convenient Receptacle May
Be Made.

A salt box with hinged front that
animals may push in is a good rig.
You can put a peck of salt in box
like this, and set 1t up from the
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-07-20

ground where 1t will keep dry and
the animals will help themselves
without further attention. They
soon find how to push the door in.
and of course it swings shut of its
own weight
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-07-20
The Reason.

A southern Kansas editor has no.
ticed that men swear to keep from
crying, and that women cry to keep
from swearing.-Kansas City Star.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-07-20
COULD HARDLY TorrsR ABOUT.
A Vivid Description Of the Most In.
aioous Of Diseases.

Miss Emma Shirley. Killbuck. N. T.,
writes: Kidney disease mysterlously
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-07-20
One Extreme Or the Other.

have been more than lucky in the
women l have met; a woman Is al
ways heaven or hen to man-mostly
heaven; she don't spend much Of her
time on the border-lines.--Walt Whit.
man in the American Magazine.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-07-20

Mrs. winslow's Soothing Syrup.
For children teethng, softens the gums, reduces IN
nammation allays pain, cures wind collie. sc bottle.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-07-20
Helplnu Sister,

Little Polite Lloyd is rejoicing over
the arrival of little brother at their
home, which came Saturday morning
In time to drive the COW to pasture
McHenry (Kan) Record.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-07-20
Ladies' Can Near Shoes

One size smaller after using Aliens Foot.
Ease. A certain cure for swollen, sweating
cept no substitute. Trial package FREE
Address A. s. Olmsted, lie Roy, N. Y.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-07-20
Important 70 Mothers.

vmpoVtout 20 WotU0VUs
Examine carefully every bottle Of CAsrORfA,
safe and sure remedy for infants and children,
and see that It
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-07-20
Mrs. Emma Stolt, Of
Appleton, Wisconsin.

"a neigh6or, adviSed me to use Pernna.
I began to imbrove at once"
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-07-20
lIIt UUUT anu uoNVN'
"How did she work."

N7NTTF'FFFFFEFVFEf
Cyclone" he said, cheerily. Took
the calf barn and two haystacks and
part of Dobb's barn and his windmill
/ thought 1t was going to hit us and
let you down"
The next morning he showed me
the mechanism. Every sleeping room
was really a double room, the inside
being like an elevator, and he had
rugged weights and counter weights
until by pushing lever he could drop
all the sleepers in the hotel down into
the cellar until the cyclone passed.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1907-06-18
POSTAL CLERKS SESSION.
1T is NOW ON AT LOUISVILLE
KENTUCKY.
Charles Mains Is Representing Thi
District-Many Business Mat
tiers to Come Up.

The railway postal clerks conven-
ton is in session at Louisville, KY,
with a large attendance from the
Ninth district Charles Mains, a pos
tai clerk running through Richmond
on trains Is and 10, between Cincln-
natl and Chicago, is in attendance.
Frank Mitchell was first selected to
represent Richmond at the meeting,
but he found it impossible to do so
and Mains was selected. All matters
pertaining to the business of this di-
vision will be discussed while officers
for the ensuing year will be elected.
Two delegates to the National rail-
way clerks convention, which will be
held in FIT Worth, Texas, in Septem-
Der, will be elected. 1t was first an
nounced that the division convention
would take some action upon steel
railway postal cars, sanctioning them,
and would bring pressure to bear on
the railroads of this division to install
the steel cars instead of the old
wooden death traps, but it is hardly
probable that the division convention
will do anything along this line, leav-
ing this action for the national body.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1907-06-18
SHOULD BE RELOCATED.

A ST Louis bride was recently
"A party of friends at the railway sta
ton. A few more accidents similar
to this and the thinking public will
awake to a realization of the danger
in little grain of rice as used at we'd
ding festivities. The throwing of rice
after a departing bride and groom is
Our forefathers engaged in the prac-
tice from time immemorial But the
fact that rice throwing is custom is
no reason it should not be relegated
as the true danger in it is recognized.
This young bride at the threshold of
a new life and one to which she had
doubtless looked forward as promising
the rosiest happiness. has her joy
turned 10 pain and sorrow through the
thoughtless act of well meaning
friends. She will bear with her to the
grave the sad recollection of a married
wedding day.
Duelling used to be custom with
our forefatheTs and no legal action
was taken If one of the principals of
a duel had the misfortune TO fall dead
before the sword or pistol of his adj
versary Today, however, if a duel is
fought in this country and only one
survives, that survivor is treated and
tried as a murderer. The country out
grew the custom of deciding disputes
by duelling and stopped the practice
by rigorous methods. In this time
and age, however, our citizens whether
young or old, should have enough COM
mon sense to put stop to the custom
of throwing rice at newly we'd couples.
The custom in it's own way is just as
dangerous and as useless as duelling.
Therefore at the next wedding you at
tend have a little consideration and
by your own example help to cast
disapproval upon rice throwing.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1907-06-18
Suasr From RAGS.

= chemist tossed handful OF rags
into bowl.
''Out OF this ounce of rags" he said,
Il am going to make an ounce of
sugar.
He shredded the rags with a sharp
steel comb into fluff. He added to
them two ounces of concentrated sui
phuric acid. Then he began to pound
the pale and kissing mixture with a
mortar.
1T must stand for two hours" he
said. Then it must be filtered, then
it must be boiled a half day. the wa
ter as it evaporates being continually
replaced. In the end you have an
ounce of pure grape sugar. Try this
experiment. 1t never fails. Save all
your rags. and with the help of 81
worth of fuel. chemicals and labor you
can change every pound of rags into
a pound of the finest sugar.''-Ex-
change.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1907-06-18
SURE HE COULD WIN.
What Happened After a Friend Staked
Him For a Hundred.

Him For a Hundred.
At dinner recently given by Wall
street man who is known for his hos
pitality gambling was the subject of
conversation, and many stories were
told to show how the turn of the cards
or of the wheel had made fortunes for
some men and had made beggars of
others. The host told of one man who
after pawning his watch at Ostend
played and retrieved a fortune which
had been lost and won another for
good measure" Similar stories were
told by other members of the dinner
company, and the subject seemed to
have been exhausted when quiet
man who has the reputation for daring
on the floor of the exchange said:
"Some years ago at the Saratoga club
house / saw a young man whose father
1 knew chip away thousands at the
red and black game. He had been at
it for three days, and / was present
when his last chip was raked in. We
walked out together, and when we
reached Broadway he said, I feel it in
me that if 1 could go right back now
and begin where | left off I'd win
His manner impressed me, and 1 staked
him for hundred and went back to
the club. Now, from that little starter
what do you think he won?" After all
had guessed, naming sums away into
the hundreds of thousands, he said,
HE lost the hundred and owes it to me
yet.'-New York Tribune.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1907-06-18
TIMBER WOLVES.
The Cunning With Which They Trap
and Kill Deer

Probably of all animals there is none
which has more exciting experiences
than timber wolf. The wolf of fic-
ton is gaunt, hungry. evil looking
animal The wolf of reality in the
north is slick and fat and about so
pounds for females up to 40 for males.
He never chases rabbits, but is willing
to finish the remains of an owls sup
per. But if some one has put a rab-
bit down doped with poison he gener-
ally polishes that morsel off.
They hunt deer by preconcerted plan.
The pack station themselves down
wind. Then one makes a circle and
comes wind rights on the deer, which
may be lying down or feeding. and of
course makes a dash. never realizing
that there is a circle of death dealing
enemies before him. When the deer
is coming in full jump the wolf first
makes a short spring Of six or eight
feet. but the next is from twenty TO
thirty feet. and before the deer real
ICES danger his end Is certain
But if he chances TO get of his doom
is sealed, and within three 10 seven
miles he is run down or eorralIed
They seem 10 get nervous and excited
and to know that there IS no escape
and turn to bay. and that ends it.
ST Louis Post-Dispatch-
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1907-06-18
EXTRA CAR ADDED.

Owing to the exceptionally heavy
travel along the Richmond division
Monday. Chicagoward. an extra car
had to be added to train No. 10, leav-
ing Richmond at 11:20 a. m. Fifty
Chicago passengers were picked up
at Anderson Both local and through
traffic has increased wonderfully in
the past few weeks. and the summer
travel this year promises TO be un-
precedented. Notwithstanding the
more than doubled business done.
since the effectiveness of the two-cent
law. local men claim that the Penn
sylvania is losing money.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1907-06-18
THE MAGAZINES.
a WORD FROM CARNEGIE.

Mr. Andrew Carnegie has written to
Mr. David Homer Bates, the author of
Lincoln in the Telegraph Office,
now appearing in The Century Maya
zine, telling MIR. Bates of his appre-
citation. Mr.. Carnegie says: MY ex-
perience with Mr.. Lincoln, that great
and good man, was similar to yours,
as | had many opportunities of seeing
him, my office at that time adjoining
Colonel SCOTS, and the telegraph Of
flee being next to mine. Mr.. Lincoln
came to the telegraph office as you
record, and SO far as my memory
serves HE, your account is faithful
one of the stirring events of that his
toric period as related to the tele-
graph.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1907-06-18
Napofeon's Hauohtv Horse

Napoleon when at st. Helena once
said of his horse: HE has memory,
knowledge and judgment. He dstin-
cuisines his master from his servants,
although these are more constantly
about him. / had a horse which dis
tinguished me from the rest of the
world and which manifested by his
bounding and naughty gait when 1 was
upon his back that he carried a man
superior to those around him. He
would not suffer any one to mount him
except myself and the groom that took
care Of him. When I had lost my way,
1 threw the bride upon his neck and
let him pick his way, with the inevita-
BILE result of finding the right road
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1907-06-18
The City Council, as in Former
Years, Has Appropriated
500 for This.
NOT A DISSENTING VOTE.
LETTER FROM MRS. Nj. r. JOHN
STON, PRESIDENT OF ASSociA-
TON, WAS READ, POINTING OUT
ADVANTAGE.

Councilman Henry w. Deuker at
made motion to have the city attor-
ney prepare an ordinance appropriate
ing 500 for the Art association of
Richmond. This motion was carried
and about five minutes later Mr..
Study handed to Clerk Taggart the
ordinance which was read and then
passed under suspension of the rules
without a dissenting vote.
Richmond has a reputation all over
the country because the municipal
government takes an interest in and
financially supports the art move
ment The city fathers think this re-
putation is good one to have, SO for
the fourth time s100 has been appro-
priated out of the city strong box to
help defray the annual art exhibits
expense.
Councilman Deuker's motion was
made after the clerk had read a COM
munication from Mrs. NJ. F. Johnston,
president of the Art association,
which is as follows:
On behalf of the Art association of
Richmond, Indiana. | ask that you ap-
propriate again this year as you have
done for the past three years, the sum
of 500 from the city treasury, for the
expense fund of our eleventh annual
exhibition. We have a membership
of about 600, paying fifty cents an
nual dues, but this does not bring in
fund quite sufficient for all expen-
ses.
THE large number of letters receiv-
ed by the Art association from al
parts of the country show how widely
Richmond is becoming known on &C
count of our annual art exhibits.
*An unusual feature, and one that
attracts notice in other towns and
cities, is TIE fact that the city gov
eminent of Richmond helps to sup
port this public art movement. So
we ask for this aid not only to add to
our expense fund but because we be-
lieve your honorable body could not
give this sum for any purpose where
the returns would be greater for the
reputation and distinction of our
city"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1907-06-18
Creative INTERPRETATION,

Interpretation is your construction
put on Beethoven. 1t is Bach filtered
through your temperament. 1t is Mo
Fart plus our personal equation. 1t
is Wagner not minus the impersonal
cymbols, but plus vital pulsations of
your heart-and mind. Interpretation,
declares the Etude, is as creative as
composition. Your bricks are tones
and rhythms. Being creative, it is not
impersonal. Being creative. it is also
not of the feelings alone. The subjec-
tive interpreter is jellyfsh; the OBJ
jective one q rock. Your creative gen
Jus is one whose subjective and OBJ
jective minds work Simultaneously.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1907-06-18
HOW 1T SPREADS.

The first package of DIR. Leonnardts
Hem-Roid (the infallible Pile cure)
that was put out went to small town
in Nebraska.
IL cured a case of Piles that was
considered hopeless.
The news spread. and the demand
prompted DIR. J. S. Leonhardt, of Lin
coin. Neb.. the discoverer, to prepare
it for general use. Now it is being
sent TO all parts of the world
It will cure any case of Piles.
81 40 with absolute guarantee
Leo II. Fine. Richmond, Ind. or The
Or. Leonhardt Co.. Niagara Falls, y.
v
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1907-06-18
BRINGS GOOD REPORT.

Norman VI. Breeze. general agent
for the Chicago and Northwestern
with headquarters in Cincinnati. was
in Richmond Monday calling ON local
passenger and freight officials. Mr..
Breeze stated that Notwithstanding
the rumors that the northwestern
crops would be and are injured, such
is not the case and the northwest will
turn out as golden a harvest as in
past years. Some sections he said
were damaged TO a sight extent but
this damage is not serious
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1907-06-18
OFFICER is ADDED.

At the meeting of the Central
Freight association, held in Chicago
last week. an important officer was
added to its membership. The new
member is Z. G. Coulter, chief of the
tariff bureau of the Pennsylvania
lines west and one of the most thor
oughly posted men on freight tariffs
in the country. He has the advant-
age over such men appointed to such
positions usually. since he is a lawyer
of marked ability and is able to settle
complicated problems at once. which
often are puzzling to others