The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-07-20

against these millenial dreams.
A well.known educator Of Fort
Smith, Ark, married fifteen years,
kissed his wife and then cut her throat.
Doubtless the latter act was unneces-
sary as she probably would have died
Of surprise over the first performance.
"As crazy as a March hare" will not
ill the description In the case Of the
Salt Laker who proclaimed the arrival
of the "millenium" there. That fell
low is as crazy as q Mormon bedbug
whose feet are being tickled by Frank
Cannon or a member OF the Ministerial
Association.
A pair Of English sparrows Is cred
tied with q possible 275, 200, 900 descen.
dants. A pair that has certainly
broken this record has been living all
spring In the vines at the editors bed
room window, and each morning at
5:l5 of the clock 1t sounds like the
whole Damn family comes to see ''pa"
and ina"
Inasmuch as Congressman Howell's
familiarity with the European Ian.
guages begins and ends with the Ger
man numerals, "ein," "zwei," "drei,"
"fer," etc., the assertion OF the Her.
AIDS Logan correspondent that Joseph
went to study continental political
methods" may be taken with grain
Of salt.
Last Sunday an Ogden minister
preached on the subject, ITO He'll and
Back" and the return trip is chron.
icled as OF particular interest. In
quiry over our wireless grapevine
brings the admission that the Ogden
preacher spent Saturday In Salt Lake
City, but whether the trip inspired
the Sunday evening sermon deponent
saith not.
Preston proposes to play the Well
villains a game Of ball, fight 'em with
stuffed clubs, raZors or moving
settles or engage 'em in four.round
bout with gatling guns, the only pro.
vision being that Stoney shall umpire
the game. The difficulty now Is that
Stoney wants $4,000 to do his part
just sufficient to pay funeral expenses
and leave his wife In comfortable cir.
cumstances.
Butte's postmaster Is short $4,000
and has disappeared. In his disap.
pearance he has the advantage Of the
writer, but in our shortage we have
the Butte man skinned exactly seven
teen times, the number Of years we
have been In the newspaper business,
However, the interest on this short
age OF $4,000 gives us very good
living now, and there's no kick from
the editorial sanctum sanctorum' o IT.
EN- except on the necessity OF burning
wood that costs 81 pound-25 cents
extra for sap and worm holes. The
holes weigh heavy and burn fast. But
there's hope even here, for Mr.. John
Wiseacre Harry, the famous Swiss in-
ventor now manipulating the job
plant at this office, has recently per-
fected an appliance for drawing all
these holes and stringing them on
wire. The invention works very sue
cessfully, and large building In which
to store the holes Is now In course OF
construction. Eventually we hope To
furnish various patent fence factories
with all the cracks they need. A
patent stretcher and clipper is ex-
pected to supply the demand OF var
ious spaghetti factories now said to
be short of the holes around which
they wrap their macaroni. Each stick
Of wood like we have In our back lot
at 81 a pound will furnish 1000, 00C
holes as elastic as Utah-Mex. rubber,
so that when one considers the num-
Der necessary for posts, sewer-pipe,
garden hose, stove pipe, oil wells, shot
guns, drain tile and chimneys, IL will
be seen that the possibilities of Mr..
Hafry's invention aud our woodpile
lat "a pound) are very encour-
aging. AS a hole we feel very we'll
satisfied. p. S.--The Butte post.
master has been located at Mobile
Alabama, where he had established q
pOstOffice Ia opposition to Uncle