The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1907-10-03

II Win m1 - c--1SeAOA 4AnAsrNA thfs-
Promise me that you'll never marry
again when I'm dead" "Of that. my
soul. you may be perfectly sure
Kurger
-Say, Dick, what Is the new fad they
call phonetic spellinST ITS the kind.
Jim, they used to nog you and I at
school for usins. Baltimore Ameri-
can
what did old Grun say when you
told him you would like him to ind
you an opening In his Officer -He
showed me the door" - Baltimore
American
Patient-when you're Ill, doctor, DO
you treat YOURSELF -No. call in one
Of my colleagues" Then can't 1 call
Il one OF them-tbe one that cured
you ?'-Kurger.
Tommy-Pa, what Is the Isthmus OF
Panama? Pa-The Isthmus of Pan
anna, Tommy, is a narrow strip OK l: I'd
connecting Central America and the
United States Treasury-Ram's Horn
Mrs. Highbridge-Do you find 1t
more economical to do your own cook
ing7 Mrs Burnham-Much more.
find my husband does not eat half 50
much as when we had a cook--Scraps.
Timkins- hate that fellow Plant
en-. He is always talking shop. Simp-
klns-Plantem, the undertaken limp
kIns-Yes. Every time l meet him he
asks after my health--Detroit Trib-
une.
Johns done right well up in the
city. after ALL" DO tell" Yes; I've
1es' hearn that he's recovered from one
appendicitis, two ortermoblles, one
heart failure an three business ones"
Atlanta Constitution
How much postage will this re-
quireY' asked the young author. 1t
is one OF my manuscripts" Two
cents on ounce" answered the post
Office clerk. That's frst-class mat
ter" ~oh, thank you Judge.
| Laundryman-I regret to tell you,
sir, that one OF your shirts is lost Gus
toiner-But, here, I have just paid 20
II cents for doing it up. Laundryma
Quite right, sir; We Numbered 1t b
fore we lost it--Harper's Weekly.
Things are not as they used to be
said the man of melancholy remin.
eences. NO" answered Mr.. Dustii
stax regretfuIly. THE times was wnai
great wealth would get man out Of
trouble. Now it gets him into 1t
Washington Star.
This is a queer world" sighed Mr.
splurgit. while I was wondering
where 1 was going TO get the money to
6ay the rent this month, happened in
The kitchen and heard the washerwom.
an say she'd just paid down $1,000 on
a new house."-Detroit Free Press.
What? Troubled with sleep
lessneSs? Eat something before going
TO bed. Why, doctor, you once
told me never to eat anything before
going TO bed. with ity)-Poohr
pooh That was last January. Science
has made enormous strides since then.
Elk.
you'd make a pretty good clerk.
said the employer, sarcasticaIy, II
you only had little more common
sense Indeed. =" replied the clerk.
But did It ever occur TO you that II
had little more common sense
wouldn't be q clerk at all?"-London
Tlt-Bits.
Housekeeper-I hear your brother
who died in California, left you $1,000
Dinah. That will be a great help 70
Won. Washlady-Deedy 1t will, miSsis
Ans been needin' a pianner an pho
nograft an a oil paintin' OBJ mahsalf in
gilt frame 70 yeahs. an now, bress
de good Lord, An kin hab 'em Puck.
lawyer examining witness)-Do
you know the man who formerly owned
/ this gun? Wimess-Yes, sir. Lawyer
lis he in the courtroom Witness
No. sir. Lawyer-Where is he? Wit
ness-I don't know. Lawyer-When
and where did you see him last? Wit
lness-Six months ago-at his funeral
Chicago News
WELL said he, anxious TO patch Nc
their quarrel Of yesterday. aren't you
curious TO know what's in this pack
age?" Not very" replied the still
beIligerent wife. indiferently. We'll
it's something for the one love best
in all the world" All! I suppose its
those suspenders you said you needed
The Catholic Standard and Times.
The big touring car had just whizzed
by with a roar like 4 gigantic rocket
and Pat and Mike turned 20 watch il
disappear in cloud Of dust. Thin
chug wagons must cost a hape ay
cash. said Mike The rich Is fairly
burnin' money" An be the smell aS
I IT. shifted Pat. at must be thot faint
ell money we do be hearin' so much
aboot. Success Magazine.