The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1907-06-15
@Sjaz(yqz.

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Papa-I never told lies when I was
a boy, Willie Willie-When did you
begin, papa?-Slovo.
Cholly enthusiastically is for
ever smiling upon ME! She-Awfully
polite girl! Every one else laughs out
right-Puck.
THAT horse was capable Of winning
in a walk" "And did hep" mo. They
foolishly entered him In a running
race. "-Washington Herald
Molly-When you spoke to father did
you tell him you had $500 in the bank
George-Yes. Molly-And what did he
say? George He borrowed it
Sketchy Bits,
She-When 1 accepted Jack, he said
he felt as If he was in the seventh
heaven! He-I can we'll believe It. He
has been engaged six times. before
Fliegende Blaetter.
Cholmondely-You and your sister
are twins, are you not? Marjoribanks
We were when we were children.
Now, however, she is five years younger
than cleveland Leader.
Maud-So you are to be married at
last. Did Jack have much trouble get
ting your fathers consent? Belle--Not
so much as papa and had in getting
Jack's.-Springfield Union.
Prospective Pa-in-Law-You under
stand that you do not get the dowry
until the end of the first year? Suitor
l-Oh, all right; l will postpone the
wedding until then. - Meggendorfer
Blaetter.
Sometimes think have more trou-
bles than any other man on earth"
Nonsense. Look at Thompson. He's
got wife, an automobile and a sure
system for beating the races."-Les-
lies Weekly.
Tramp-Madam, l am suffering from
indigestion. Lady-Why, I'm sorry.
What can 1 do to help your. Tramp
Madam, you can cure me instantly by
giving me something to digest. -Har-
per's Weekly.
Mrs Lawson-How can Mrs. Wykes-
leigh afford to keep three servants
Mrs. Dawson-Oh, she plays bridge
with them every Monday afternoon
and wins back all their wages.-So-
merville Journal. -
Baker-Do you think it is true that
two can live as cheaply as one! Bar
ker-Not much. Since I've been pay
ing alimony to Mrs. Barker it has cost
me double what it did when she was
my better half.-Life.
Servant Maid-I left my last place
because 1 couldn't get enough to eat
Master-You won't find that the case
here. My wife does the cooking, and
there is always a lot left after every
al.-Meggendorfer Blaetter.
Little boy" said the good woman,
do you alwaystell the truth?" "No'm."
Don't you know it's very, very
naughty to lie?" "Yes'm." "Then why
do you itY II don't Sometimes I'm
too busy to talk" -Philadelphia Ledger.
"He's a great growler, isn't he?"
Hurricane is nothin' to him." Finds
fault with everything?' Worst you
ever saw" "By the by-what is he do
ing nowY Editing the Band of
Hope and Sunshine department of a
new magazine !"-Atlanta Constitution.
Grandma-Were you surprised to
have me come and visit you? Johnny
Not so surprised as mamma was
andma-Why, she knew was COM
iLg. Johnny-Yes; what she was sur
!: prised at was papa's language when
she told him about it.-Cleveland Lead
er.
\ Mrs. Hoon Tin the midst of her read
ing)-Here is an item which says that
a certain man in Philadelphia was
fined $40 for holding a girls hand. Mr..
Hoon-Well, don't know that that is
too much for a person in Philadelphia
to pay for little excitement.-Broad-
way Magazine.
"Now, be careful how you drive. cab
by, and 60 slowly over the stones, for
hate to be shaken. And, mind you, pull
up at the right house and look out for
those dreadful railway vans" Never
fear, sir; I'll do my best. Ana which
'orspital would you wish to be. taken to,
sir, in case of an accident ?'-L London
Tit-Bits.
| Visitor Ito the country theatrical
manager)-But why have you SO small
a stage and so deep an orchestra
Stage Manager-That is brilliant1dea
of mine. When the audience throw
things at the actors, they fall short
and hit the musicians. Musicians are
cheaper than actors. Meggendorfer
Blaetter.
LOndon's Underground Railroads.