The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-04-20

Doctor what is good to take to cure
the redness of my nose?" "The pledge"
Houston Post.
Knicker-Primitive men plowed the
earth with a sharpened stick. Booker
You don't mean to say golf dated
back that far Scissors.
"The doctors have finally agreed
upon the cause of Jink's illness" Did
they hold another consultations NO
q post-mortem. Headlight.
Here, hold my horse minute, will
your? "Sir! I'm a member Of Con-
gress!" Never mind. You look hon.
est. TIL take chance. "-Courier
Journal.
Mrs. Henpeck-Shame on you for
growing about DR.. Bolus. Didn't he
just bring you back from the jaws Of
death and Henpeck (wearily)-And
back to the jaws Of life.-Borrowed.
Woman-Now, If you don't leave at
once I'll call my husband-and he's an
old Harvard football player. Tramp
Lady, If yer love him don't call him
out. I used to play wild Yale.-Judge.
Cynthia-Oh, what a world this is
for a woman; do wish the Lord had
made me a man! Molly-Why, my
dear, maybe he did and you just
haven't found him yet-American
Spectator.
There is only one ordained mission
d ~, Tho mould Gov O0n nOn hao tbapc
your excellency," said the cannibal.
well, got mine," said the cannibal
chief, rubbing his lips.-Yonkers
Statesman.
"John, DEAR" wrote a lady from the
continent, II enclose the hotel bill"
Dear Jane, 1 enclose a check" wrote
John in reply, "but please don't buy any
more hotels at this price-they are rob
bling you !"-Tit-Bits.
why don't you let Willie play in the
street with the rest of the kids?" said
Mr.. Wise. I'm afraid it will spoil his
clothes" was the wife's answer.
"Thunderation exclaimed Wise, I'VE
can buy clothes, but we can't buy
brains !"-Clipped.
Mrs. Dennis Ito her husband, who
smells a strong escape of gas some
where and Is about to strike q match)
You're never after looking for a leak
wild lighted match, Mick? Mick
Hould your whist! They're safety
matches Half Holiday.
Doctor, can't you give me something
to relieve my sleeplessness?" 'Yes;
could prescribe sedative, but drugs
would do you no real good. Instead Of
that let me recommend large, fat
onion, to be eaten raw just before go
ing to bed" why, doctor, that's ex-
actly what keeps me awake" How
can it possibly have that effectT my
wife eats it."-Chicago Tribune.
Bobson-You look all broken up, old
man. What's the matter? Craik-I
called on Miss Pruyns last night, and
no sooner had entered the parlor than
her mother appeared and demanded to
know my Intentions. "That must have
been rather embarrassing" yes; but
that was not the worst. Just as the
old lady finished speaking, Miss Pruyn
shouted down the stairs, Mamma, man,
ma, he isn't the onep "-London Tit
Bits
| A Scotsman the other day went to q
London dentist with toothache. The
dentist told him he would only get re-
lief by having 1t out. Scot-Mon, then
1 must hae gas. While the dentist
was getting it ready the Scot began to
count his money. The dentist said.
somewhat testify, "You need not pay
until It's out" The Scot replied: II
ken that, but as ye're ABBOTT to max me
unconscious l jist want to see hoo
n'."-Sporting Times.
The philosophical lady meets ths
little boy on the street. The Lady
Little boy, haven't you any home? The
Little Boy-Oh, yes'm, I've got home
The Lady-And loving parents? The
Little Boy-Yes'm. The Lady-Are
they bringing you up to be a good and
helpful citizen? The Little Boy
Yes'm. The Lady-Will you ask your
mother to come and hear a talk or
when Does a Mothers Duty to Hen
Child BeginT' next Saturday after
noon7 The Little Boy (explosively)-
What's tn matter with you. ma Don't
Won know me? I'm your little bow T.