davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-05-16

IHeH were Ic!llllS SllOSt stories III the
Democratic cloak room in the senate,
and Senator Bailey asked if anybody
had heard the story Of the man who
had been reading late ut night and
who turned around to find something
in the shape of Il man, but without
head, sitting close beside him
"The man jumped up" said the SEN
ator, "boted out y the house and ran
like Whitehead until he could run no
farther. When he was exhausted. he
sank down on log gasping. but hope
full that he had left the apparition be-
hind. To his intense horror he found
the same figure sitting beside him on
the log when he looked around. He
was too much played out to run Just
them so he sat and shiyercd. In Il
minute the figure hitched up close and
said, That was very pretty race we
had, wasn't it,
eyes gasped the man, but it isn't
marker to the one we're going to
have as soon as get my BREATH"
y
ator Bailey married not long ago
woman of fifty years. She was rich
and ugly; he was handsome and poor.
"The day after their wedding | met
the bride and groom on Il Pullman
train. The groom went into the smok-
ing compartment with me. and we
lighted up. He smoked gloomily.
Ill 4 IL.
honeymoon, Ell"
"IIe smiled grimly. Don't call it my
honeymoon he said. It's the harvest
moon with me-"
Senator Bailey was stopped one day
by Texan.
Senator, I'd like little chat with
YOU" he said
81 do not know you. What can
do?" was the reply.
Il am one Of your constituents, and
l want consular job. I've written
you to send me to Moji."
Indeed! That's thoughtful of you.
Why didn't you say Szzcchuun:"
IL would have, senator came the
faltering answer. ''if I'd only known
how to spell it,"
81 am convinced" the senator said
on one occasion, that it is more fun
to be a poor man than a rich one.
Now, there may come times when |
want $500, and it worries me to get it,
but | can tell you that it doesn't worry
me half so much as 1t worries a multi
millionaire to get million or two
when he needs ready money. He takes
his story to banker. The banker
says, List me your securities Then
the banker picks out the choice ones,
makes call loan and as soon as he
sees the millionaire Is hard pressed
calls the loan and grabs the securities.
You can't tell me that the poor man
isn't the happier of the two"
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1907-10-29
a oSSVtsrnmsnt vi ( TO kiok. About.

I'VE kick about our own goverL-
ment," said reformer, "and 1t Is
doubtless pretty bad, but what would
we think If 1t took the taxpayers mon
ey to pay every year a pension of $780,
900 to the Goulds, another Of $4,000 to
the Astors and another still of $4,000
to the vanderblltsf That Is what goes
on In England. The English doctor,
the English druggist, the English car
penter, all sorts Of hardworking Eng
lishmen, are taxed 5000 or $500 year,
and the money goes to pay the huge
pension of some ducal loafer who Is
already too rich. Charles H., for In
stance, granted an eternal pension of
$4,000 a year to the Duke Of Rich
mond and Gordon. In all the years
since Charles lis time that pension
has been paid out Of the taxpayers
pockets. To this day 1t is paid. The
present Duke Of Richmond and Gordon
settles for his dinners at the Ritz in
London or at Ciro's In Monte Carlo
with money earned by English butch
ers, brlckIayers and blacksmiths. ."-Ex-
change.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1907-10-29
The Lions Mouth.

The use of the lions mouth as the
vent of fountain is so common that
1t cannot be regarded as accidental.
As matter Of fact, the custom Qike so
many customs-not forgetting the foun-
tain pen) came from Egypt, which
adopted 1t because the annual inunda-
ton Of the Nile takes place when the
sun is In the constellation Leo-the
lion. The allusion is too obvious to
need pointing out The oldest fixed
date (4241 B. g. can be traced to
Egypt where the calendar was intro
duced in the middle of the forty-thlrd
century. And the history Of modern
shipbulldlng began in Egypt, where it
can be traced to about 5000 B. G. The
most recent discoveries give to the
land of Egypt a clean run Of about
1000 years without any admlxture of
Foreign races. Egypt, land Of hidden
mysteries, great mother of science and
art, what thinking mind has not dream
ed Of theew-New York Press.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1907-10-29
A Nice Legal Distinction.

A lawyer in the Indian Territory
named McGann was the attorney for a
farmer who had killed neighbor.
McGann got the man out on bail on the
plea Of justifable homicide or some
thing of the kind, and the farmer i'm
mediately took his gun and killed the
chief witness against him.
Naturally this nettled the sheriff and
the judges, and they offered $500 re-
ward for the murderous farmer. Say"
said McGann to the sheriff, twill you
give me that reward If get him?'
"Yes," the sheriff replied, and McGann
rode out to the hiding place of his
client.
The farmer came up, and McGann
shot him, took the body back to town
and demanded the reward. How
about this, McGann?" asked another
lawyer. "Do you think 1t is in accord
ance with the ethics of the legal pro-
fession to take advantage Of your ell
ent N that manners" Ethics be blow
edw snorted McGann. 81 killed him In
another case."-Exchange.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1907-10-29
Submerged Aristocrats.

Some curious letters are quoted by
Mr.. Percival Bickerstaffe the pedigree
searcher, in an interview with repre-
sentative Of the London Tribune. One
runs:
Il am a plumber and gastiter out of
work. My stummick is empty, but in
my art is the blud Of noble burth. ' >
/ claim the family title and tenements
which will not be denyed the same.
A city clerk wrote:
81 have long suspected that am Of
high birth. People tell me that l have
manners above my station of life. My
photograph herewith shows that have
an arlstocratic cast Of face and will
perhaps be a clew to my ancestry. |
do not ask for fortune, but aspire to
the pride Of race"
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1907-10-29
CITY BREVITIES

Fresh oysters at Hohbach's.
See Bond Bros. about your fall
suit.
All kinds of good dry wood. See
Minnis.
Posts, wood and hay for sale. Paul
Schneider, Nolln, Oregon.
See Minnis for good, dry wood that
burns. Lots OF 1t on hand.
Everybody talks about Benjamin
clothes, sold by Bond Bros.
Unfurnished housekeeping rooms
for rent Enquire at East Oregonian
office.
Cottage for rent. Bath, hot wa
ter and electric lights. Enquire 100
Bluff street.
All kinds Of transfer work done
promptly. Stansbery & Milne,
Phone Main 5.
Hiawatha will positively stop fall
ing hair. remove dandruff and by Its
action on the roots Of dying hair
causes it to grow with renewed vigor,
This statement with 500 guarantee
Hiawatha Hail Tonic Co. For sale by
Tallman e Co.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1907-10-29
Saaaclty of Blind Horses.

The way In which blind horses can
go about without getting into more
difficulties than they ordinarily do Is
very remarkable. They rarely, If ever,
hit their heads against fence or stone
wall. They will slide off when they
come near one. 1t appears from care
full observation that 1t is neither shade
nor shelter which warns them Of the
danger. On an absolutely sunless and
windless day their behavior Is the
same. Their olfactory nerves doubt
less become very sensitive, for, when
driving them, they will poke their
heads downward in search Of water
fifty yards before they come to n
stream crossing the roadway. 1t can
not be an abnormally developed sense
of hearing which leads them to do this,
for they will act alike though the wa
ter be stagnant pool. Men who have
been blind for any great length Of time
develop somewhat similar instincts to
blind horses.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1907-10-29
Husband Would Settle.

From India comes a story Of the dis
comfture Of a very distinguished sol
dier. 1t happened at big dinner,
where he had taken in pretty Amer
lean globe trotter, who asked him to
pass dish Of almonds and raisins.
"With pleasure" replied the gallant
son Of Mars, "but do you know that
what you have asked for is called in
the vernacular kissmiss and that the
penalty of kiss attaches to the re-
questT
"Is that so?" answered the woman
calmly. 81 must consult my husband" "
and she called across the table to him
and told him Of the request.
"Quite So" he replied, according to
the custom Of the country it is a just
debt and must be paid, but is the gen
eral aware Of the arrangement made
when we married that l must settle
all my wife's llabilitiesT"
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1907-10-29
PERSONAL
MENTION

E. II. Brown, editor of the Echo
Register, is in the city today on bus
mess.
Attorney r. r. Johnson of Echo, Is
in the city today transacting legal
business.
C. e. Linthicum of Burns, is a
guest at Hotel st. George while here
on a business trip.
]. B. Thompson of Weed, Cal, is
guest at Hotel st. George while In
the city this morning.
C. E. Baker, editor Of the Hermis-
ton Herald, is in the city today on a
trading and business trip.
Rev. H. S. Shangle Of Milton pass
ed through today over the o. X. q
N. to Grass Valley where he goes on
brief business trip.
Leon Cohen Of the Peoples Ware
house has returned home from Port
land, where he has been for several
days on a business trip.
Mrs. John Nilsson left this morning
on the o. r. & N. local train for
Portland where she will visit for a
few weeks with friends.
j.. G. Cutler assistant superinten-
dent of the Pasco division Of the
Northern Pacific, is in the city today
upon business connected with the
road.
W. ]. Church Of the La Grande
National bank is in the city for a
few days the guest of his nephew
Win Stewart of the Tallman drug
store.
]. L. Beckhusen the importer Of
Coach stations, left for Lexington,
Morrow county, this morning where
he goes to close the sale of a fine
horse.
Eliza Corney, the we'll known bar
ber, left by team for Meachem this
morning where he will enjoy hunt
and do some work upon a claim on
the mountains.
E. L. McBroom Of Ritter, who has
been here several days on business
left by team for his home 80 miles
south this afternoon. 1t requires
about two days to drive out with a
light load.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1907-10-29

Read the East oregonian.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1907-10-29
Rcy. w. 7. Enster an Author.

Rev. w, II. Euster, pastor of the
First NJ. =. church of this city, aside
from being an able and forcible
preacher is also an excellent writer
and is now writing a small volume on
Modern Church Building" which
will soon be issued. The little volume
will perhaps contain about 100 pages
and will be issued within the next few
months Rev. Euster has the repu-
tation of building more big churches
in the inland empire than any other
one man and is qualified to write and
speak upon that subject.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1907-10-29

E. H. Brown, editor of the Echo
Register, is in the city today on bus
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1907-10-29
Eranoh Smiles For Drunk"

The French have some interesting
SMILES of their own corresponding to
the English drunk as lord or
drunk as wheelbarrow," says a
London writer. The most generally
recognized one in the case of 'ivre," I"
the less extreme and less vulgar word
for drunk" is "ivre CONNIE une soupe"
-"soupe" meaning the piece of bread
eaten with soup as well as the soup IT.
self, and bouillon soaked piece Of
bread Offering u natural simile for sat
uratlon. When the less delicate Soul
is used instead Of "ivre," the French
man may speak of being as drunk as
an ass, a COW, Swiss or a thrush.
The allusion in the last case is to the
fondness of thrushes for grapes, which
are said at vintage time to make them
unsteady in their flight.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1907-10-29
Indian Placed on Tracks.

Fred Parr of the Umatilla reserva-
tion, has Just received a letter from
Toppenish saying that his cousin,
Frank Parr, had been placed on the
Northern Pacific railroad tracks near
that place by a number Of other In
dians who had robbed him previous
ly. However, he was able to release
himself before train came along, or
otherwise he would have been Instant
ly killed. Several instances Of this
kind have happened in the Yakima
country recently.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1907-10-29
Wat-ti Found Guilty.

John Wat-ti, an Indian, was SEN
fenced to 80 days in Jail and to pay a
fine Of $25 by Judge Wolverton, in the
United States district court, yester-
day morning, at Portland. Wat-ti
was found guilty of having sold liquor
on the Umatilla Indian reservation.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1907-10-29
Your Benjamin suit is here. Bond

wanted-6irl for cashier at the
Dime theater
Watch for our big sale, commenc-
ing Wedn esday. Campbell Millinery.
1O-room modern house for rent on
north side, second block from bridge.
Enquire Bowman photo studio.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1907-10-29
FREE CONCERT TONIGHT.
Professors Bistofly and Genovese in
High Glass Music AT Hotel Pendle-
ton TOnight.

Professors Bistolfy and Genovese.
travelling musicians, will give free
concert in the lobby of Hotel Pendle-
ton this evening from 1880 to $3.50, to
which the public is cordially invited.
The musicians play high-class music
on the harp-guitar, mandolin and
flute and give an excellent entertain
ment.
They play nothing but classical mu-
sic and come highly commended and
the entertainment promises to be a
musical treat.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1907-10-29
Pendleton, oregon, Oct. 80,

Pendleton, oregon, Oct, 20, 1907
We. the undersigned hereby agree
to close our meat markets all day on
Sundays, beginning with November
and until April 1, 1908, or until
further notice.
CENTRAL MEAT MARKET.
EMPIRE MEAT MARKET.
UMATILLA MEAT MARKET.
C. b. LYMAN.
FARMERS MEAT MARKET.
Read the East OregoniaE-
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1907-10-29

Bond Bros. has good suit for every
man in Umatilla county.
Rogue River courier. (Grants Pass, Or.) 1886-1927, 1907-04-12
Value of a Good Name.

The value of good name as a trade
mark in winning the confidence and
esteem Of large numbers of people
cannot be over estimated and was
never better exemplified than In the
case of the we'll known showmen,
Norris q Rowe. Each season this
really meritorious organi zation comes
to us again and we commend the
honest policy which gives more than
is promised. The present tour is
known as the Jubilee Souvenir
Season" as it marks the Goth year OF
the partnership of Norris g. Rowe.
Costly souvenirs will be distributed
to every one as Norris q Rowe wish
to acknowledge the compliment of
many past seasons Of excellent patron
age of the public that has always
greeted their efforts so generously.
Norris & Rowe promise us great big
new circus this year and az their
promises have been kept in the past
there is no reason to doubt the truth
of their announcements this season.
They travel in train of three sections
OF 10 cars each, making 40 cars in all.
Exhibitions will be given at Grants
Pass, Tuesday, April 23.
Rogue River courier. (Grants Pass, Or.) 1886-1927, 1907-04-12
FRUIT PEST LAW
NOT TO BE ENFORCED
ihat May Be the Outcome of IN .
Obstacles That County In.
spector is Up Against.

= Not since the pests appeared il
Josephine county have the fruit treel
III the county been given such prun
Ing and spraying as has been don,
this past Winter and am certain thai
more Thorough campaign of extermi
nation against the pests has beer
waged In this county than in apy
other OF the states with the exception
OF Wasco county where is located the
HOOP River district. There are not
over 20 orchards, and most of them
small and on railroad and nonresident
land, that are not sprayed. Out of
this number there are seven that the
owners refues to spray. determined
to make these obstinate owners either
spray or cut down their trees but now
l am stopped by the action Of the
county court and of Commissioner
Carson. Commissioner Carson has
refused to approve my bill against the
county for the llR days that have
charged for my labor as fruit in.
spector since / was appointed last
Winter Without his approval the
county court will not Issue me a war.
rant. But an intimation has come to
me that Commissioner Carson will
o. K. my account for the S34. so that
the county owes me on condition that
L Will resign as fruit inspector. l
am not for sale that cheap and
don't intend to resign until the fruit
growers are dissatisfied with my
work. The county commissioners are
opposed TO my work and Commits
sioner Logan has not sprayed his
trees ana is not likely to until the
law is enforced. Judge Jewell is in
favor of the strict enforcement of the
pest law but in view of the fact that
have not the cooperation of
Commissioner Carson and of the
county commissioners thinks that it is
best that l depend only on moral
suasion to get the few remaining fruit
trees sprayed aud not bring an action
to make the balky owners obey the
law. shall bring the matter before
the Fruit Growers Union and the
Grants Pass Commercial Club and if
they hold that the fruit industry of
Josehpine county is worth saving l
will then make test case on the or.
chards of those who positively re-.
fuse to obey the law. The fruit pest
lawlhas been through the courts in
other counties and the supreme court
has held that it is constitutional and
Rogue River courier. (Grants Pass, Or.) 1886-1927, 1907-04-12
Mr.. Lawton Secures English
Patent.

D. ]. Lawton of this place has just
received notice of the granting of
patent in England on his smoke Puri-
flyer and Gas Collector. American
patents were issued about year ago
and Canadian patents some six months
ago. This invention is intended to
destroy the poisonous fumes from
smelling plants and save the values in
sulphur and arsenic which are so
deadly to vegetation wherever
smelters ara in operation. A working
model has been in successful operation
in Grants Pass and was later taken to
Portland.
NJ. Lawtou will put his invention
on the market and hopes to be able to
have it tested on an extensive scale at
one of the larger smelters i'll Montana.
Rogue River courier. (Grants Pass, Or.) 1886-1927, 1907-04-12
NEW SCHOOL HOUSE
AND TELEPHONES
Upper Williams Remote But
Progressive Section to Build
New School House.

G. H. and John Stephens, who re-
side in the upper settlement in Will
Jams Creek Valley, where they are
engaged in stock and hay raising, re-
port that stock have Wintered we'll
and will go on the range in good con-
ditiun. That their settlement, though
remote for it is 81 miles to Grants
Pass, their nearest railroad point, is
progressive, keeping up with the
other sections of the ,county, Messrs.
Stephens stated that their school dis
trict would soon let the contract for
the erection of a new shcool building,
the present one being too small to
meet the needs of the steadily in
creasing attendance. They also will
shortly have telephone connection
with the other sections of Applegate
Valley and with Grants Pass as the
Williams Creek line of the Applegate
Valley Telephone Company is to be
extended to their settlement. The
roads are being improved each year
and with the rich soil, splendid
climate and the extensive 6tock rage
in the nearby hills and mountains at
this section Of Williams Valley offers
a good opportunity to homeseekers to
get land at low price and be In
prosperous community.
Rogue River courier. (Grants Pass, Or.) 1886-1927, 1907-04-12
The Beta Gamma Party.

The party given by the Beta Gam
ma on Saturday evening was in
every way a success Halls hall in
which it was held was tastily deco
rated with red and blue crepe ps per
aud banners bearing tie emblem of
the society, skull and cross bones.
During the eaily part of the evening
game we're played interspersed with
vocal music by some of the II. 5. Rirl-
aud music by a graphic hone The
boys then served all the company
with doughnuts and a brilliDat blue
and red concoctiOn which they called
BETA Gamma cocktail. The colors
were so unusual that few ventured to
pariase of the new drink; but those
who dared pronounced it delicious.
Then the glasses were removed and
ice cream aud cake were served.
Souvenirs in the form OF skulls I cd
with red and blue ribbons were given
to each person present. The guests
were then favored with msdley sung
by six of the Beta. Gamma boys, and
so great was the applause that 6 {
performance was repeated. very
amusing take off on the recer per
formance of Marc, the Magician
was given By Alfred Letcher, assisted
by Fritz Dean. All who were for
tunate enough to be present cougratu'
late the Beta Gammss on their pro
ficiency in entertaining.
Rogue River courier. (Grants Pass, Or.) 1886-1927, 1907-04-12

it is sheer folly for person to defy
this statue quite as much as to
violate the law against contagious
diseases among people or animals
There were between $4,000 and
60. 900 fruit trees planted in this
county this Winter and Spring. And
this is the first large planting of trees
that has been made since the pests be-
came so numerous but not tree of
this lot would have been planted had
the orchsrdists supposed that the
pest laws were not to be enforced.
1t is certain that fully 10000 fruit
trees and vines will be planted this
next Winter if the pests are subdued
but if the farmers are to have no pro-
lection from the diseased trees OF a
few obstinate persons then they
will plant mo more trees and the
fruit industry, that promises TO bring
so much wealth to the county, will
come to an end. The splendid pros.
perity that jackson county is now
having is largely due to the cash that
the fruit sale brings in and Josephine
county would not have the stsgnation
in land values and Grants Pass would
not have so many vacant houses were
the thousands of acres Of fine fruit
land in bearing orchards and vine.
yards. The business men Of Grants
Pass have put up s75 month for
three years to keep up mining ex.
hibit. If they would spend that same
amount of money in protecting the
fruit industry Of the county in five
years there would be 1000. cars OF
fruit shipped with the amount gain.
ing each year thereafter.
CHARLES MESERVE,
County Fruit Inspector.
Rogue River courier. (Grants Pass, Or.) 1886-1927, 1907-04-12
An Unusual Agreement 10 Piano
Buyers.

For the benefit of those who may
feel obliged to other dealers we think
the following will be of interest: Go
to any dealer and select any piano
he may have for sale. Get. his low.
est price and terms. Come to us aud
we will sign an agreement to furnish
you an EXACT duplicate of any piano
You may select within 30 days for $50
less than the price quoted. During
that time We will furnish you free
any piano you care to select from our
stock. If we fail to keep our agree.
ment, we put up $50 as bond and
forfeit this at the end Of the 80 days
GILMORE PIANO co.
Advertisers get results in the
Courier.