The Washington times., 1907-12-08
(continued from First Page.l

Sador giggled in a manner that made
the English have no sense-of-numor
STORY look like a monumental lie. The
cnembers Of the Cabinet chuckled as If
they had dashed the troubles of state
ito a mast and gone Off and left them
20 starve To death.
And, when Sam Blythe, president OF
the club, said a lot of Indiana authors
twere dead ones" Robert w. Chambers
haughed in hearty appreciation of the
Joke.
As soon as the guests and the club
sInembers had taken their places at the
tables, laid out in the form Of grid
irons, in the banquet hall, the lights
were turned out, and the clubs choir
sang Dining Tonight" TO the tune OF
''Tenting Tonight" When the lights
were turned on, the fun was on with
a run. Somebody howled out that there
were no cocktails on the tables. Presi-
dent Blythe demanded TO know the rea-
son for such a strange happening
One for Mr.. Fairbanks.
Somebody explained that they would
be brought on at once. Then, while the
walters brought in the cocktails, 10,
there appeared coming toward the Vice
President of the United States a cock
tail as big as a gallon bucket. In 1t
there was plenteOUs store Of-buttermilk.
While Mr.. Fairbanks 8azed at il in
fascinated manner, the choir sang him
this song. to the tune Of "Budweiser:'
There once was dinner. out in In
Where cocktails were served to each
such innocent mixtures with sundry
nice fixtures
As cherries-and you know the rest,
They gIIStenCd like wine and they tasted
Each guest smacked his lips in de-
could you You really think that this one lit
Would have caused such a terrible
plight?'
Chorus:
Oh. the cocktails a friend Of mine,
Friend OF mine-yes, a friend Of mine.
What care I If the sun don't shine
When we've got cocktail
That's the reason 1 feel so hne'
Feel so tine-yes, 1 feel so fine. -,
when served at a dinner the cocktaiIs s
a winner
The cocktaiTs friend OF mine!
And row, Mister Fairbanksl WILL YOU
drink this cOcktail2
It's simple and harmless and dry 81,
And not to alarm you, we say IL won I
so don't he too shrinking and shy
You surely will say as you sip its line
Il thank you. indeed. for this boom, >,
Unless you confess, as you WILL we al
guess, 80. -.
You intend to be dry-till next
Junc!-Chorus.
Song to Roosevelt.
NIr Fairabnlzs having passed up the
buttermilk cocktail on the theory that
f. would do his physical organism even
more harm than had been done his po-
IiticaI machine by real cocktail, the
next turn on the program was delicate
bit Of humor embodied in song called
..-They All Look Alike to Roosevelt
This appealed with particular force to
Mr.. Fairbanks Mr.. Knox, and other
Presidential candidates. To the tune OF
They All Look Alike TO Mary the
little ditty hit the candidates straight
between the eyes with the following hot
shot:
A Presidential boom
Was smiling In fun bloom.
It's captivating ways were so en-
tTdnCing!
II was simply grand
Finest in the land
Each one in his heart declared thaI
boom liked him the best,
Tt only had TO start and Roosevelt soon
would do the rest.
But Willie Loeb, the wise old OWL one
day was interviewed.
He answered IF tell you, boys, hope
10 won't seem rude
Chorus:
For they all look alike to Roosevelt,
In the great Presidential game;
Messrs. Taft. Hughes and Fairbanks
La Toilette and Cannon,
And others we might name;
They all said they would head the
How can that ever come to pass:
For they all look alike to Roosevelt,
when he lOOks-in the glass.
Some Democrats denied
That Bryan was their pride:
they hinted there were others IN the
running.
Eut at the White House they
Went off to oyster Bay
or travelled South TO do a little guEning
40 matter what you used to be, this
President would say,
The only thing concerning me is how
YOU vote today
The Democrats, the PopuHsts, the Fu,
siOnists and all
VIII get a hearty welcome in my cam,
paign OF next fal.-ChO.
Everybody applauded this song up
roariously-except the candidates. wh'
merely clicked their thumbnails TO
gcther so as to show they stin haC
their nerve with them.
Cushman Called Upon.
After things had lulled long enough
for the candidates to put their smiles
on straigh- again, President Blythe
called on Representative Cushman, o
the State Of Washington, for a speech
Mr.. Cushman got busy and spoke. Hi
remarks were kept saCredly secret.
il is said hOwCver-and not denie,
by Cushman-that he lived up 20 nj
reputation of being one Of the funnies
men in the House.
AS soon as professional masseurs hat
comforted the sides of the guests VIII
had laughed themselves black in tn
face at Cushman's sallies, the lamb wa
led to the slaughter. That Is, James P
Hornaday, washington correspondent
for the indianapolis News. was initial
ed. He was led into the room by Initia
tors Henry and Randolph. Presiden
Blythe said he couldn't see how Horn
oTo.r could in Without rofnr-or,rae