davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-07-28
A Midsummer
Masquerade

Satan said Jeff Peters. lis a hard
boss to work for. When other people
are having their vacation is when he
keeps you the busiest. As old DR..
Waite or St Paul or some other dag
nostician says: H always find some
body for idle hands to 90
Il remember one summer when me
and my partner, Andy Tucker, tried to
and business duties; but il seems that
our work followed US wherever we
went
Now, with a preacher it's different
He can throw off his responsibilities
and enjoy himself On the S1st of May
he wraps mosquito netting and tinfOil
around the pulpit, grabs his niblick
breviary and fishing pole and hikes
for Lake Como or Atlantic City, ac-
cording to the size Of the loudness with
which he has been called by his con-
gregation. And, sir. for three months
he don't have TO think about business
except TO hunt around in Deuteronomy
and Proverbs and Timothy to find
texts to cover and eXculpate such lit
tie midsummer penances as dropping
a couple of looey door on rouge OF
teaching a Presbyterian widow 10
swim.
but 1 was SOluS 10 tel you dDoul
mine and Andy's summer vacation that
wasn't one.
We was tired of finance and all the
branches of Unsanctified ingenuity,
Even Andy, whose brain rarely ever
stopped working. began to make noises
like tennis cabinet.
Heigh. ho,' says Andy. I'm tired
I've got that steam up the yacht Cor
sair and no for the Riverial feeling.
Wantto loaf and indict my soul, as
Walt Whittier says. I want to play
pjnochle with Merry del Val or give
a krOuting to the tenants on my Tar
rytoWn estates or do a mOnologue at
a Chautauqua picnic in kits or some
thing summary and outside the line of
routine sandbagging.'
" Patience says I. You'll have 10
climb higher in the profession before
you can taste the laurels that crown
the footprints of the great captains of
industry. Now, what I'd like, Andy,
says 7, would be a summer sOjOurn in
mountain village far from scenes of
larceny, bloodshed and overcapitaliZa =
tion. I'm tired, too. and month or
so Of sinlessness ought to leave us in
good shape TO begin again to take
away the white mans burdens in the
fan
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-07-28

keeper IN Il grocery. What did l do?
| kicked EN- both back on the train
and watched 'em depart for the low
lands. the low.
Now you see the fix I'm in,
gents goes On Smoke 'em-out Smith
ers. I told the ladies that the noto-
rious visitors had been detained on
the road by some unavoidable circum-
stances that made a noise like an ice
jam and an heiress. but they would
arrive a day or two later. When they
find out that they've been deceived,
says Smoke em-out, every yard of
cross barred muslin and natural waved
switch i'm the house will pack up and
leave. It's a hard DEAL says Smoke
'em-Out.
Friend, says Anday, touching the
old man OH the aesophogus. why this
jeremiad when the polar regions and
the portals of Blenheim are conspiring
to hand you prosperity on a hall
marked silver salver? We have ar
rived.
"A light breaks out on Smoke-'em-
outs face.
'''Can We do it. gents? he asks.
Gould We do it? Could We play the
polar man and the little duke for the
nice ladies? VIII We do it?'
Il see that Andy is superimposed
with his old hankering for the oral and
polyglot system of buncoing. That
man had a vocabulary of about 10, 600
words and synonyms, which arrayed
themselves into cOntraband sophistries
and parallels when they came out.
Listen says Andy to old Smoke
'em-out. Can We do it? You behold
before you, Mr.. SmitheTs, two of the
finest equipped men on earth for in
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-07-28

and then the schOolma' ans and litera-
terrors hunchcd their rockers close
around US.
"One lady says to me: How did
that last venture of yours turn out,
sir?
Nov. I'd clean forgot to have an
understanding with Andy which l was
TO be- the duke or the lieutenant And
/ couldn't tell from her question
whether she was referring to Arctic or
matrimonial expeditions. So L gave an
answer that would cover both cases.
wei, ma'am.' says I, it was a
freeze outright smart of a freeze out,
ma am
And then the floOdgates of Andy 5
peToratiODs was opened and / knew
which one of the renowned ostcnsible
guests / was supposed to be. ] wasn't
either. Andy was both. And still fur
theTmoTe it seemed that he was trying
to be the mOuthpiece of the entire
British nobility and of Arctic explora-
ton from Sir John Franklin down 1t
was the union OF corn whisky and the
conscientious fctional form that Mr..
w. d. Howletts admires so much.
." Ladies' says Andy, smiling semi
circUlarly, ] am truly glad to visit
America. I do not consider the magma
charta, says he, or gas balloons or
snowshOes in any way a detriment to
the beauty and charm of your Ameri-
can women, skyscrapeTs or the arch
itecture of your icebergs. The next
time, says Andy, that l so after the
north pole all the Vanderbilts in Green
land won't be able to turn me out in
the cOld-I mean make it hot for me-
" Tell us about one of your trips.
lieutenant says one of the nOrmals
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-07-28

q" Sure says Andy, getting the de-
CisiOn over a hicCUg. It was in the
spring of last year that 1 sailed the
Castle of Blenheim uD to latitude 81
degrees Fahrenheit and beat the rec
ord. Ladies' says Andy, it was a sad
sight to see q duke allied by a civil
and liturgical chatteI mortgage to one
of your first families lost in a region
Of semi-annual days. And then he
goes on. At four bells we sighted
Westminster abbey. but there was not
a drop t. eat. At noon we threw out
five sandbags, and the ship rose fifteen
krOts higher At midnight continues
Andy. the restaurants closed. Sitting
on d cake of ice we ate seven dogs. All
around us was snow and ice Six
times a night the boatswain rose up
and tore a leaf off the calendar so we
could keep time with the barometer.
At p, says Andy, with a lot of an
guish i'm his face, three huge polar
bears sprang down the hatchway, into
the cabin. And then
What then. lieutenant?' says d
schOOlma am, excitedly.
ANDY gives a loud sob.
4" The duchess shook me- he cries
out, and slides out of the chair and
weeps on the porch.
We'll, of course, that fixed the
scheme. The women boarders ali left
the next morning. The landlord
wouldn't speak to us for two DAYS,
but when he found we had money to
pay our way he IoOsened up.
SO me and Andy had a quiet, rest
full summer after all, coming away
from Crow Knob with 81. 100 that we
enticed out of old Smoke em-out
playing seven up"
Danville intelligencer. [volume] (Danville, Pa.) 1859-1907, 1907-03-08
Italians and Wheat Flour.

The Italian housewives of the poorer
classes seem to have one unchangeable
recipe for baking. Agents Of charita-
BILE societies have found this out by the
women always asking for a certain
number of pounds of flour, just enough
for one baking, in their grocery lists.
They make the flour into a number of
loaves, which, put into one pan, bake
into one great loaf The size of the
family seems to make no difference. If
>le family is small, the bread simply
lasts little longer and gets a little
drler. The bread Is very good when
fresh. They do not use as much yeast
as American cooks, and the bread Is
very crusty, something on the order Of
French bread. The poorest families
also use a great deal of "polenta."
This is merely flour stirred into boil
Ing water, after the manner of old
fashioned American "hasty pudding"
only that flour is used instead of corn
meal. No people in the world are so
devoted to wheat -four as the Italians
Whether In the form of bread, polenta
or the omnlpresent macaroni, 1t forms
the bulk Of their diet. - New York
Globe.
Danville intelligencer. [volume] (Danville, Pa.) 1859-1907, 1907-03-08
MODERN CIVILIZATION.
Its COmplexity, Hurry and Worry
Shortening Our Lives.

Its SOmpleN1ty, Hurry ana WOrry
Shortening Our Lives.
Not long ago while travelling chanc-
ed to stop at a village on the river
Rhine, where / found an astonishing
number of old people. There We're a
dozen over a hundred years of age and
many from eighty years old up to the
century mark, yet straight and vigor-
Gus. One woman nearly a hundred
years old was earning her living by
picking hops. Her grandchildren were
middle aged. 1t was quite wonderful.
But there was no mystery about it. It
was merely the effect of n simple life
spent largely in the fields, with plain
diet, consisting of few vegetables
and fruits, little meat, and native beer
and wine for beverages.
Nothing can be more obvious than
that the very complexity of our mod
ern civilization is shortening our lives.
But of all the evils that afflict us the
worst and most destructive are hurry
and worry. Hurry drives the body ma.
chine beyond its capacity, while worry
racks 1t inwardly. OF the two worry
Is probably the worse. This might in
deed be called the age of worry. Be-
cause of the intense nervous strain to
which we are subjected we do vastly
more worrying than did our forbears.
The average man of today is continual
ly surrounded and pursued by phantom
troubles, which, though few of them
ever materialize into realities, haunt
him continually, running his peace Of
mind and injuring his health.-Reader
Magazine
Danville intelligencer. [volume] (Danville, Pa.) 1859-1907, 1907-03-08
SiIverinu Mirrors,

Mirrors are usually silvered by coat
ing the glass with amalgam. For this
purpose large, perfectly fiat stone Is
provided, and upon it is evenly spread
sheet of tin foil without crack or
flaw. This is covered to the depth of
one-eighth of an inch with clean mer-
curry. The plate of glass, perfectly
cleaned from all grease and impurity,
is fioated on to the mercury by sliding,
so as to exclude all air bubbles. 1t is
then pressed down by loading 1t with
weights in order to press out all the
mercury which remains fluid. This is
received in gutter around the stone.
After about twenty-four hours 1t is
gently raised upon its edge, and in a
few weeks it is ready to frame.
Danville intelligencer. [volume] (Danville, Pa.) 1859-1907, 1907-03-08

Though the dress of the Turk is elab-
crate, he is most fastidious when 1t
comes 70 questions of dress. He gives
one hour or more to the adornlng of his
mustache. 1t is no mean task to change
It from flaxen to jet black, perfume 1t
with rose ana amber and soothe the
struggling ends. Another hour is given
to the dyeing of his lips and the caring
for his eyelds and another in practic-
ing his most fascinating smile. he
gives the same attention to his wearing
apparel 1t is of finest broadcloth or
velvet and covered with embroidery of
heavy gold His arms and chest are
left bare to show the splendid polish
of his ebony skin. Grace is added by
his capote, draped with great chic. But
this splendor would be nothing with
out a sword with gilt handle, watch
with concealed miniature, tobacco
pouch of knitted gold and a pistol often
studded with precious stones.-Chieago
Tribune.
Danville intelligencer. [volume] (Danville, Pa.) 1859-1907, 1907-03-08
CUTTLEFISH FARMS.
Where the Queer Creatures Are Gull
tivated to BE MIXED.

uNBted to he MIXED.
Does any one know that cuttlefsh
are cultivated on farms to be milkedi
These cuttlefish farms are located or
the coasts of Great Britain, and the
cuttleflsh are kept in tanks or ponds
to be MIXED of their ink. The pond or
tank Is connected with the sea by a
pipe, and a thousand or more cuttles
are kept in single one.
They form most curious sight as
they move about, trailing their long
arms and staring out of their bulging
eyes. They are guarded by screens
which prevent them from being scared
for If they are suddenly frightened
they will squirt their milk into the
water, and it would therefore be lost
This fluid or milk is very valuable
and cutie will yield about So worth
a year. 1t is secreted in bag which
can be opened and closed at will, the
cutie ejecting the fluid to darken the
water so that 1t may escape unseen
when attacked.
The best cuttlefish are procured in
China, where for some reason or other
they produce the best quality of milk.
When the farmer considers it oppor
tune to milk the cuttles he proceeds by
opening the sluices of the pond and
gently agitating the water. The cut.
ties then swim around the pond, and
as soon as one passes through the
sluice is closed. The cutie passes
down n small channel into basin or
metal receptacle, and as soon as it is
securely there the water is drained off.
1t is then frightened and at once
squirts the fluid from the bag. When
II is exhausted it is lifted out, the milk
is collected and the basin prepared foi
another.
Danville intelligencer. [volume] (Danville, Pa.) 1859-1907, 1907-03-08
HARD ON BACHELORS.

A concreted attack upon bachelors
is in progress all over the United
States. The Indiana Legislature is de-
batting bill designed to tax them in
matrimony-or suicide. The NIassa.
chusetts Legislature has been petition
ed to do likewise-the petitioners
signing themselves. "The Unmarried
Ladies of Wakefield" and alleging
that bachelors are OF no earthly use
except as pail bearers" The Supreme
Court of Illinois, on a damage suit ap-
peal, has decided that bachelors life
is worth but 81. The Charleston News
and Courier proposes that bachelors be
debarred from holding public Office
Danville intelligencer. [volume] (Danville, Pa.) 1859-1907, 1907-03-08
POttsgrOve Items.

Harry Crossley spent Sunday with
friends in Benton.
Simon Fetter and son, Charles, of
Northumberland, spent Sunday with
relatives in this place,
Oscar Cromley has moved into the
Reese house.
F. w. Lindner has commenced
work on new piece he will add to
house, recently purchased in this
place.
John Shell and Miss Lizzie Spring
er, of this place, were married on
Tuesday morning at the Lutheran
parsonage by the Rev. E. thinner
man. After the ceremony they left
on the o'clock train for Philadel-
phia and other points of interest.
After their return they expect to
make their home here
A pleasant surprise party was held
at the home of Mr.. and Mrs. III. L.
Moorehead on Friday evening in
honor Of their daughter Jennie's birth
day. The evening was spent in play
ing various games and music, after
which elegant refreshments were serv-
ed and the young people departed for
home, wishing her many returns of
the day. Those present were. Misses
Helen Ditzler, Florence McCool,
Clara Eckman, Cora Cromley, Laura
Bitter, Hanna Sechler, Hattie Moore
head, Messrs Frank Hagenbuch and
Benjamin Tanner, of Oak Grove,
Ralph Sechler, Elbe Rummage, Clar-
ence Auten, Homer Van SAINT, Fred
Moorehead, Mrs. Fetter and Mrs.
Ada Sprengast, of Milton.
Danville intelligencer. [volume] (Danville, Pa.) 1859-1907, 1907-03-08
POWER OF MIND.
Always q Valuable Asset In Pres
ence of Danger.

Always valuable Asset In Pres-
ence of Danger.
Presence Of mind is always an as.
set. 1t is especially valuable in pres
ence Of danger such as springs from
the presence of men intent upon MUIR
der. This was never better exempli-
to take the life of Mazzinl. He got to
hear Of their project. All the precau-
tions he took was to get ready store
of very excellent cigars. The ruffians
presently appeared at his address.
Come in, gentlemen" he said and
produced his cigars. To each man he
handed lne. Taken aback at their
reception, they seemed abashed and
confused. 81 know that you came to
kill me-" he said. why do you not
proceed to your taskT This was too
much for even this bloodthirsty depu-
tation. They could not kill the man
whose cigars they were smoking and
who invited them to carry out their
task. Muttering some excuse for hav-
Ing interrupted his studies, they shuf-
fed out of the room and troubled him
Each man has his own method with
would be assassins. With Napoleon
it was the eye which counted. While
he was visiting the Duke of Saxe-Co-
burg Gotha one of the dukes retainers
made up his mind to slay MIN. He
had SO frequently heard the great man
denounced as the curse of Europe that
he felt impelled to seize the chance to
destroy him. He was common sol
dier at the time and had to do sentry
duty in one Of the corridors of the pal
ace along which Napoleon passed. He
put his finger to the trigger as the
duke, accompanied by Napoleon, drew
In sight. He aimed for Napoleon's
heart. Napoleon saw him. He said
nothing, but simply fixed his eagle eye
upon the youth. The latter seemed
spellbound. He let the musket fall
with a crash to the floor of the stone
corridor. He felt, he said, as If he
must have swooned. Napoleon took
no further notice, said no word, pass
ed upon his way as If nothing had hap
pened. That one t1ashing glance had
saved his life. He knew its effect
and value.-St. James Gazette,
Danville intelligencer. [volume] (Danville, Pa.) 1859-1907, 1907-03-08

Nothing is positively known as to
how long an-sstrich will live. Some
writer's claim that it will live 100
years. Ostriches which are known TO
have been in captivity for forty
years are still breeding and producing
feathers 1t is the experience Of Ari-
zona farmers that among the birds
having good nutritious green feed
deaths seldom occur except as the re.
suit of accident. A deg or other small
animal will sometimes frighten os-
triches and cause them to run into the
fence, which may result in a broken
leg. When this happens the bird may
as well be killed, as few ever recove-
from such an injury.-National Geo
graphic Magazine.
Danville intelligencer. [volume] (Danville, Pa.) 1859-1907, 1907-03-08
Calendars for 1907.

The Intelligencer office has received
a full and complete line of samples of
fine art calendars, and we are ready
to take your orders for 1907. Be
sure to call and learn our prices be-
fore placing your order. Designs of
every description to select from.
Remember, we lead and others fol-
ow.
Danville intelligencer. [volume] (Danville, Pa.) 1859-1907, 1907-03-08
His Perseverance,.

Henry Arthur Jones. the noted Eng
lish playwright, was giving the stu
dents of Yale an address on the drama.
"Your American vernacular is plctur-
esque," he said, land it should help
your playwrights to build strong, racy
plays. But neither vernacular nor any
thing else is of moment If persever-
ance is lacking. No playwright can
succeed who is like a man | know. I
said to this man one New Years day,
do you keep diary, Philip Yes
he answered. I've kept one for the
first two weeks in January for the
last seven years."
Danville intelligencer. [volume] (Danville, Pa.) 1859-1907, 1907-03-08
F''s stsefs! seS e." SChreyer Store Co. "5to" 4.

THE MOVING PICTURES, under the
exclusive control of Mr.. and Mrs.
w. Haidacher and son, C. A. Hal
dacher, in the building opposite G.
A. R. Hall, is well patronized and
highly appreciated by many of the
representative amusement lovers of
Danville and surrounding towns and
hamlets. The pictures are realistic
and represent thrilling and startling
scenes in France and other parts of
Europe, all fol- the small sum of five
cents
Danville intelligencer. [volume] (Danville, Pa.) 1859-1907, 1907-03-08
Party in Valley.

Mr. and Mrs. Philip Boyer enter
tanned few of their friends at their
home in Valley township, M onday
evening. Those present were: Bertha
Moser. Rachel Fenstermacher, Lulu
Yeager, Mamie Yeager, Jennie Muir
ray, Charley Maus, Jacob Tanner,
William Boyer. Sydney Boyer, Warren
Fenstermacher, John Heller, John
Fruit, Freeman Robbins, Charley Sny-
der, Harry Yeager, Jacob Boyer,
Master Sydney Boyer Edward and
Francis Delsite.
A CUES
Danville intelligencer. [volume] (Danville, Pa.) 1859-1907, 1907-03-08
Fortunate Father and Son.

| am as certain as l now live, says
Mr.. G. E. Bartholomew, Kalkaska,
Mich, that DIR. David Kennedy &
Favorite Remedy, of Rondout, N.
Y, saved my life when | was vic
tim of that terrible disorder-Bright' S
disease. My son had a fever sore on
his leg; he too used Favorite Remedy
and is now we'll All druggists 81. 90;
6 bottles $500.
Danville intelligencer. [volume] (Danville, Pa.) 1859-1907, 1907-03-08
Died.

Near Centerville, St. Jos. Co.
Mich, after a lingering illness Feb.
16, 1907 Mrs. Aboline Maranda,
wife of Gutelins Snyder, aged "A
years. She lett three sons and twelve
grandchildren besides her husband to
mourn her loss. She was a woman of
large acquaintance and many will miss
her at all public gatherings. They
were formerly residents of Valley
township Northumberland County.
Danville intelligencer. [volume] (Danville, Pa.) 1859-1907, 1907-03-08
ACTIVITIES FOR THE SUMMER.

The coming summer will most like
ly see in Danville tine busiest boom for
many years. From all indications the
vast improvements and building opera
tiops at the hospital will be started
this year, and will employ hundreds
OF men. The paving of North Mill
street will cause good deal of inter-
est to be centered in that section of
town, while the houses that will be
built, and which were spoken of in the
News several days ago, will give en-
ployment to a number of skilled work
ers.
Danville intelligencer. [volume] (Danville, Pa.) 1859-1907, 1907-03-08

An English writer declares that inan.
cial morality, imperfect as it is in our
day, is superior to that of the epoch
that came to an end in 1926 with the
abolition of lotteries. Take a single
instance. Lord North In 17T9, while
the American war Of Independence
was In progress, issued 10000 lottery
tickets, 10000 Of which were given a.
bribes to members Of parliament"
Danville intelligencer. [volume] (Danville, Pa.) 1859-1907, 1907-03-08
AN INVESTIGATION WAS MADE

Investigation showed that the fire
had started in drawer in a desk in
which matches were kept, and the
mice in making square meal Of
match heads had ignited them and the
fire followed. The flames ate down
ward and then communicated to the
other wood work in the room, all of
which was ba lily blistered before the
fire was extinguished. The furniture
of the room was also blistered 80 that
it must be replaced. The loss will
amount to about 1000. Superintend-
ent Rambo at once set men to work to
straighten matters out, and the room
will be ready for occupancy in short
time
Danville intelligencer. [volume] (Danville, Pa.) 1859-1907, 1907-03-08

The radical difference between the
hand of man and of the monkey lies in
the thumb. In the human hand the
thumb has the opposing power"
which means that the thumb can be
made to touch the tip of each or any
of the other fingers on the same hand.
The monkeys thumb is nonopposable.
-Pittsburg Dispatch.
Danville intelligencer. [volume] (Danville, Pa.) 1859-1907, 1907-03-08
Seats and Ouers Reduced.


Fancy idebos
duced broken and Others Oled nussed
values for
Novelties for ST. Pah7cks DAY.
either % Sr sfsn % at % @ % % % S % , Cards c s5c dossu
n sse Rbsen issa ps vd @ SsS? ya'd Shapes
Special Sale on EnaneHed Ware
as0, fc % e s dssTy day W Ss ] se & P m @ 1 % all ws weet are
Meues marked half pint out side and
~ ssc value 25c 4 quart Buckets with tin
3 Cooking Kettles with tin lid large deep Dish
Buckets, With
Spring THme-Hone Frightening Time
New Carpets and rugs Hese.
ing worthy dependable fairly opened
purse ts % Ss % Ee @ sis pBs predict " "
Nowhere better valuesn fact higher than
& ,1. % . sP
''' e s$s R''iSs; 1's
~ eg 1s, s%d n % Ss f%S s Rs eSTs % " '1s foot sizes in
Oil Cloths 25c s5c yard LnOeums from SOC the nd loo
lders sandal full line Of Upholsering Materials.
Do You Make Youz Rag Cazpels
colors very at
Another Sale of Couches, Sat- and Mon Onip
sss contract made before the big advances took
"Sabo" Coffee Demonstration.
grade viii ss ss Rs s @ wa @ @ @
body ee wn sabo the only high grade coffee
Grocery Specials Sat- and Mon. March 9 and II.
California Yellow Peaches
S e o ffFss Fena % H s in srsh aa Pse @ o fresh Is or de for r. Csc
12 sackbes Buckwheat Flour
SOC Extra Large F Navel Oranges best quality $50 doz
Danville intelligencer. [volume] (Danville, Pa.) 1859-1907, 1907-03-08
BILLS EXCEED REVENUE,

This is the way it strikes the Halle
ton Daily Standard "If one may form
an opinion from the number of bills
offered in the State legislature the
members seem to be impressed with
the belief that the income of the State
of Pennsylvania is unlimited. The
bills asking for money already exceed
in amount the annual revenues