The National tribune., 1907-09-05

- ali very interesting ItEttlfS, anu iiiNiN
of it quite bright, with poetry bette
than the average in the country pa
lpers.
The Yankton says:
According to the opinion of the en-
tire crew the Yankton is leading th
fleet in the grub line"
Also we learn that:
| we are glad to welcome our bi!
sister Connecticut to the Atlantic. Sh'
looks powerful enough to whip q WeS
indian hurricane. We hope to hav,
some more 'makey-learn' ships with u
SOON
The Pelican says:
Quite a holler is going on from tn,
| seven-inch Gunners Mates about tht
large job they have. What would the,
do if they We're on the Connecticut witt
I three seven-inch guns to look after in
stead of two, not counting the extrs
| magazines? However. we have som'
| magazines of our own.
John Burris tried to build an addi.
ton to his fare, but as it was not 'regu,
| lation' the doctor took it away from
him. We are sorry for you, John. bu
you know sponsons are not allowed il
ships any more"
The sailors call sub-caliber practic5
''ping-pong," and a poem in the Pelicar
runs:
ITS ping-pong in the morning and it,
pins-pong in the night,
Some people worry about it SO thei,
hair has took to flight:
They wrestle with the ping-pong. Oh
| they wrestle day and night,
And the funniest thing about it is they
never get it right.
They say your eyes are crooked; l think
that's very crude;
But they can never learn me how to
shoot. not with Morris tube
The Louisiana's men seem to have
had some fun with the Secret Service
mon who accompanied the President on
his trip on the ship, for the Pelican has
this item:
"Why is a stew? Where is our little
brown dog? Ask the four Secret Ser
vice men,
One of the papers has this clever re-
sumo of the disasters of the year:
Some professional forecaster pre-
predicted that the year 1905 would be
one of disasters The prophecy came
only too true. San Francisco and the
Chilean Capital were destroyed by
earthquake and fire. Pensacola was
! visited by a terrific storm SO early in
/ 1907 that it might have been consid-
| cred an afterthOught of the old year.
Vesuyius scared 100000 people half
10 death "a mortality of 100000 by the
rules of arithmetic). There We're fires
and floods. and wrecks thruout the
length and breadth of Christcndom. 1t
might also be added that Piatt and
Depew remained in the Senate. The
universal peace egg would not hatch.
tho the Car of Russia had to be shooed
off the nest 10 keep her from starving
to death Commodore Schley wrote a
testimonial for Pcruna. Mrs. Eddy
nearly kicked the bucket. while An
thony Con1stock and the W. c. T. U.
aid not. There was hoodoo some
where and personally we are carrying
heavy life insurance and the left hind
foot o. q graveyard rabbit"
The Kentucky Budget has this quite
fair poem:
"Happincss.
; IT'S just a sort o. feeling that depends
| upon the man,
| And the owner never gets it by fixed
and settled plan;
It's nothing that's to come along at any
certain time.
And nothing in the atmosphere Of any
certain cline;
IL > IlcL CUT out lot tuSlp1leIS ana ldlfl
upon the shelf
Gut It's just a sort o. feeling that de-
pends upon yourself.
1T never comes from growing at your
luck and fcclln' blue
And thinllin every man is stoalin' some
from you;
You needn't th:nk it comes along where
moneys running rife
Or feel that you would find il in an
other sphere of life
You ought to find it where you are;
there's pleEty everywhere
An any man that is man'll get an
honest share.
The minister'n find it in the sayin' of a
grace,
And the barber gets his portion in the
Shawn of face;
The sailor on the ocean. and the farmer
in his corn,
The millionaire a-watchin' at sorle hole
in plenty's horn;
And the hairy. howlin' captain of a
climbin' jungle clan
| Is as happy as a monkey as he woul
be as man
IT'S every humans duty in whatsoever
sphere
To make his life a happiness to other
mortals here;
So why not be content with life and say
your 10TH do?
And then you feel the duty done-an
easy duty, too;
| For happiness from discomfort is but
a little span,
An is just a sort O. feelin' that depends
upon the man"
Another item from the Kentucky
| Budget tells of an ex-bluejacket NAMED
! Napoleon, who has just proposed and
has been accepted by his best girl, wh1
asks:
"And now, Napoleon, now that we
are really engaged, is not there some
shorter name than Napoleon, some pei
name, ! can call you?'
| well, Mary, j don't know; but the
boys on the Kentucky used to call me
Pieface."
Now the purists are attacking the
word automobile. because it is a mon.
grei-half Latin, half Greek. They
want something harmonious and sym.
metrical, like 'ipsemobile" If Latin, OIL
'.autokineticon" if Greek. Both of these