The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-06

fro in the corridor of the first floor
and starts the elevators with a iOrdly
wave of his arm, and swears at the
boys who don't get down just on the
tick, will have to mend his ways or go.
He has all along had an idea that he
represented the owner. He is now to
be undeceived. He may be retained
as an ornament, and his lordly waves
may continue to wave but his hal
cyon days have forever fed. The first
time he refers to the elevator boy as
an internal lazy cub he will hear
something drop.
The general public will notice a
spirit of independence in elevator boys
that has long been lacking. They will
no longer blush and get confused and
say, yes, ma'am," to a man when
asked If Jones has an office on the
eighth floor; the cage will not wobble
under their guidance, as if uncertain
whether to mount up to the shingles
or drop down to the cellar floor; there
will be no more patting the boy on
the back and calling him hub" and
handing him out a cent to pay the in
terest on the mortgage on his widowed
mothers home. He will be a man
among them instead, and brokers rid
ing up and down will not think it de-
rogatory to their dignity to consult
him as to the grain and stock mar
ketS.
The constitution of this association
boys of the United States the right to
life and liberty. They must have all
day off on Fourth of July, and the
privilege of attending at least one cir
Gus performance per year. They are
not encouraged to become aldermen or
members of the legislature, but in case
they get there they will be expected to
go out behind some lumber pile to sell
themselves and receive the Doodle.
The bylaws provide that hereafter
every elevator boy shall insist on hav-
ing the prefix of Mr." before his
name. The boys will Mister each other.
and demand the same from the public.
There is to be no moro Charles" and
wills and "Toms"-not even for the
girl stenographer who feels herself al
most engaged to Mr.. Brown. We must
and shall preserve our dignity. The
terms Sir ma dam" and miss" are
always to be used in addressing the
public. even down to the telegraph
boys. There will be no more "Nettie"
or Nancy in speaking of Miss Rose
MIA Lands man on the seventh floor
gets hilarious and in going up in the
cage starts in to stand the boy on his
head he must be "sir-red!' until
brought to a state of subsection.
Any gentleman from out of town
who hands the elevator boy a quarter
and conf1dentially asks where he can
see the elephant is to be subdued by a
cold glare. The boy can keep the
quarter or send it some one of the
five hundred detectives who worked
for two months on the Marvin case
and discovered twenty-five hundred
abducted boys.
There Is a bylaw expressly forbid
ding any elevator boy from buying
stock in a copper mine at five cents a
share and holding it until 1t is worth
five dollars. 1t is conceded that the
strain on him would be too much and
probably bring on permanent back
ache.
Five elevator boys may pool their
earnings to keep themselves in cigar
cites and chewing gum, but the for
nation of anything like Trust is ex-
pressly forbidden.
Among tho resolutions passed at the
first meeting were the folio wing:
Resolved, That it shall not be con-
s:dercd derogatory to the dignity of
an elevator boy to wear his hair long
and assume a literary look, but he
shall not claim to have written any of
the novels bearing the names of Du-
mas or Hugo
Resolved, That If an elevator boy
is half an hour late any morning, and
the car-starter calls him liar when
he says that it was owing to the block
on the Brooklyn Bridge, the e. b. shall
stand on his dignity instead of disput-
Ing the matter. When the car-starter
gets around to apologize, which he
surely will, let the apology be received
with naughty dignity.
Resolved, That the elevator boy
who acts as a capper for a poolroom
be disciplined for the first offense and
expelled from this association for the
second. He may place bets for state
senator's on Geographic orders, or he
may invest personally in a sixty-to-one
shot, but it must end there. The man
higher up must not be permitted to
become too familiar.
Resolved. That during the lunch
hour end other intervals there shall be
no playing poker with the engineer,
the jaaitor or the proprietor OF the
ba rber shop on the first floor. The
game is not evil when played in
q rmer's barn. with beans for chips