davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1907-02-21

The W. G. 4. U. will meet
with Mrs. J. B. Gray next Tues.
day at 2;30 p m,
More than a million children
are bread winners in the United
States, and tbree-fourths of
them are forced to that condi-
tion by the license system.
Our National Superintendent
of Sabbath observance has pre-
pared leafiet showing the gain
in money saved for the families
of working men by the closing
of the saloons on. Sunday. If
these figures were in the minds
of the men they would use their
best endeavors to keep the Sun
day closing law if not ON other
days.
Wherever, good, strong, Sun
day closing laws, have been en-
acted and enforced the liquor
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1907-02-21

This is a want to know ad-
ministratiou for a want to know
people.-Norborne Democrat
Rats. Theodore Roosevelt press
IS The Want TO Know" close
enough tC tiud something rotten
ann then lets up On the thumo
screws
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1907-02-21
SOiIed Her Dire IS.

Matilda. I wish you would
ask that youIg Mr.. Peters to
have his cuff buttons replated."
Why, mamma, what do you
mean?"
"They, seem to leave black
S'reaks on the back of your
shirtwaist every evening -
Philadelphia Inquirer.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1907-02-21
RootIacks Out of Date.

While boots were worn bootjacks to
aid in removing them from the feet
were in general use, but they fell in
to desuetude with the wearing of
shoes, and are now mere curiosities,
to be found in lumber rooms and col.
lections of ancient articles.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1907-02-21
Happiness and Hunger.

"My idea of perfect happiness" said
the seedy philosopher as he made his
fourth round trip to the free lunch
counter. lis to be in position to go
into the SWEETEST restaurant, put my
hand over the price list of the menu
and order what my taste dictates, ir-
respective of the demurs of a dimin,
ished wad."
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1907-02-21

The news that elbow length
gloves are gong out of fashion
may not cause an electric shock
in the hearts of many, but it
will produce a cheerful glow of
satisfaction in the breast of the
man who writes the Cheeks
Huntsville Herald.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1907-02-21

That newspaper reporter who
discovered that Senator Gug.
genheim of Colorado began life
barefooted." should consult
some good authority on how the
most of men begin life, says the
Carthage Press.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1907-02-21
Cur or Nervous Disease

4 Berue doctor has discovered that
tea made with melted snow is cure
for nervous disease. The doctor de-
Clares that he has cured people with
this elixir when all other remedies
have failed. He melts the snow over a
slow fire, and then boils the water.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1907-02-21
A PIttsbura suggestion.

Inasmuch as there is a law against
carrying concealed weapons, 1t is up
to the gents furnishing stores, while
the burglar panic is on. to stock up
with something neat In the way OF
gun and "razzahp belts.--P ittshurs
Gazette
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1907-02-21

P. F. White of this city start
ed out on his maiden trip as a
grocer drummer Monday. He
sold every house in this city and
Hunnewell that was in his line.
Good luck to him.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1907-02-21

Last week the DEMOCRAT
said Mrs. Anna Eugle, of Pal.
myra, had been visiting her Sis.
ter, Mrs. W. B. Hays. II should
read: Mrs. W. B. Spaldiug.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1907-02-21

Ben McAlIister. of near Shel,
was business visitor in the
city Thursday. When asked.
how are the roads, he answered:
Roads, why there isn't any
roads; gee, you ought to see
them.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1907-02-21

Miss Mollie Geolze left Thurs
day morning tor St. Louis to
catch all the latest in millinery.
Then she will spend the season
where she so successfully spent
the last one, at Shelbyville, Ill.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1907-02-21

Many receive advice, but few di-
gest it.
It is always better to throw boquet
than a brick.
Talk is cheap, but talking back is
dangerous, as any married man will
tell you.
Old King Cole may be "a jolly old
SOUL" but few people who deal with
him can see the joke.
If you have no money at all, you are
snubbed. If you have too much, you
are investigated. Amt this a funny
world?
A Pennsylvania man has married a
girl weighing 365 pounds. Once again
we see exemplified the good advice
of Old Mrs. Means, "Git a plenty
while yer a-gitun'."
THE CALM GENTLEMAN.
tempest blows,
The man who is calm when his last
nickel goes,
Is a man whom success
Is most certain to bless.
But the man who is calm in a marital
spat,
The man who is calm when he chases his
hat,
The man who is calm when his wife
spits, "BECAUSEP"
And follows it up without reasons or
laws
The man who is calm
Under such, without balm,
Is too good for this earth-you can wager
on that!
A country paper is responsible for
this bit of etiquette: when a lady
or gentleman are walking on the
street, the lady should walk inside
the gentleman"
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1907-02-21

Mr.. aud Mrs. Il T. Carrico,
who reside at sol Grace street,
are happy over the arrival of
a beautiful daughter which was
born last ht.-Hannibal j our
nal.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1907-02-21

Many married couples seem to sub
scribe to the theory that there must
be a disagreement before there can
be an agreement-and usually there
is.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1907-02-21

Miss Orie Spencer, of Hume
we'll, was with Monroe friends
Friday.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1907-02-21
POOR, TIRED PA.

Rastus came shifting to school that
morning, with grief depicted in his
adolescent face.
please, teacher" he lisped, 1--WE
gotta quit school. My ma is dead and
I've gotta go to work.
Eye see," wiping away a tear, now
that mas gone pas gotta take keer O.
hisself, an I've gotta help pal"
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1907-02-21

Through the courtesy of the
DEMOCRAT this space is reserv.
ed for the W. G. II. U. 1t is
edited by Ella L. Shearman,
District Press Superintendent
of the W. @. It u, who is re-
sporsible for all statements
which appear in this column.
Our Watchwords: Organize,
Educate, Agitate.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1907-02-21

There is one nice thing about aim
ing for the presidency. The striver is
more apt to reach a superintendency
than the man who strived only for the
lower position. In other words, climb
high-you may catch on a top rung.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1907-02-21

Harp Chords and Discords.
Many receive advice, but few di-
gest it.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1907-02-21
AN OTHER

Nut for Theodore Roosevelt to Crack,
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1907-02-21
OUR PRINCIPLES.

Total abstinence, Prohibition
of the liquor traffic, Que stand
ard of morals for men and WON,
en-. Tue education of public
sentiment for right.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1907-02-21
MORE TO THE SQUARE INCH.

No matter just where we go;
But there's more per inch in dyspeptic
men
Than anywhere else know!
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1907-02-21
IN DEMAND

IN DEMAND
Here's a toast to the girl
That can make homemade bread;
That gets her pas breakfast
While ma lies in bed.
The girl that can cook
And the girl that can sew
And yet, at a function,
Can dazzle the beauxi
Yes, here's to the lassie;
The one / adore!-
There's job up at our house;
Call Monday-back. door.
A Missouri clergyman has evolved
a future state of mankind. After
death, he says, we will go to the other
planets now visible through tele-
scopes. Just how we will be trans
rerred or WI "wspape" men will
get complir ,, the good
and cheerinl - does not say,
but it's VOL Jmething to know
We are going Visiting anyhow!
PHILOSOPHY OF HARRY THAw.
All. l find, bah Jove, I'm growing fast
To like this simple life at last!
] used to CAD around ell night
And come home-weal, not just-but
quite!
But that seems y-e-a-h-s and y-e-a-h-s
ego,
And row. I'm going rawther slow!
I'm indoors every eve. From home
Somehow / do not care to roam!
No more the sherry-flip for me,
The highball pale, the syruped "skee"-
Somehow l just can't get away
From where I'm stopping, lack-a-dayi
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1907-02-21

1t is always better to throw boquet
than a brick.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1907-02-21

Have you a talent? Cultivate it!
And keep on cultivating it! Never
give up. Never admit yourself a
failure. Leave that to your friends!
Keep on trying, keep on hoping, keep
on WORKING. Genius" is only an
other word for work" Every man
has genius II he has that characters.
tic which keeps him at work. Are
you a genius or merely a loafer?
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1907-02-21

Talk is cheap, but talking back is
dangerous, as any married man will
tell you.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1907-02-21

Old King Cole may be "a jolly old
SOUL" but few people who deal with
him can see the joke.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-21
CUNNING COYOTES.


This is the coyote-Goyo-tay with
all the syllables, to the Mexican who
named him; "kinte" merely 10 the
American Wanderer who has come and
gone So often that he ut lust regards
himself Il resident stockman and
farmer
II is this little beasts triangular VS.
age, his sharp hose fitted for the easy
Investigation of other peoples affairs.
his ohlique green eyes. with their
squirt of coMartlice and perpetual
hunger, says the outing Magazine. that
should have II place in the adornment
Of escutehcons. II Is notorious that
the Nicissitudcs of his belly never
bring to him the fate upon whose
verge he always lives and that nothing
but strychnlne. and not always that.
will bring an end To his forlorn career.
AS his gray back moves slowly along
above the reeds and coarse grass and
he turns his head to look Mt you he
knows nj once whether or not you
have with you gun. aud You cannot
know how he knows. Once satisfied
that you are unarmed, he viii remain
near In spite of any Nocal rcmon-
strances and by and by may proceed
To Interview you IN Il way that for un-
obtrusiNeucss might be taken as n
model of the art
Lie down ON the thick brown carpet
of the wilderness and be still for TWEEN
ty minutes and, watching him from
the corner of your eye, you will see
that he has been Joined by others of
his brethren hitherto unsccn lie
seems 10 be curious to know, first. IL
you are dead and. second, If by any
chance and he lives upon chances :
there Is anything else In your neigh
borhood that he might find eatable,
IL you pass ON With Indifference.
which Is the usual way, he Will sit
himself down upon his. tail on the
nearest knoll and lol hrs red tongue
and lccr nj You AZ one With whom he
Is half inclined Ia claim acquaintance
lie looks and acts then no much like II
gray dog that one Is inclined To whistle
To him Make any hostile demonstra-
ton, and he will move II little farther
and sit down again.
If by any means you manage Ia of
fend him deeply at this juncture. the
chances are that he and his comrades
may retire still farther and then bark
ceasclcssly until they have hooted you
ont of the ncighhorhood Tint night
he and some of his companions may
come aud steal the straps frem your
saddle. the mcnt from the wing nnn
and politely elenn the pm and even
the boots from beside your lewly bed.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-21
THE CYCLONE.
How This Wonderful and Destructive
Air Fury Is Formed

To get AN Idea of cyclones formal
ton imagiuc large circular pan or
tub with quite n large hole in the
middle Of the bottom. With this hole
plugged fill the vessel With water,
then draw out the plug and watch.
There Is first II rush of water from
It'll directions toward the hole and Il
turbulent. effort 10 get through; then
the water surface above begins to
sink and swirl. the particles gradually
eIreling around and around and rush
Ing, ever fastcr. toward the center.
At last There Is actually ii hollow space
through the center. around which all
the Nater In the tub Is MhirlinE slug
gishly near the rim but wAh more and
| more Violent rapidity toward the mid
Tile until IL PUSHES downward through
the bottom. Nov, II that water We're
uir yon would be watching II little
cyclone turned upside down. for the
MIR PUSHES upward instead of down
ward
In the cradle of cyclones during the
summer mouths, when the lands and
| the Water grow hotter and hotter be
cause of the longer days than nights.
II lnAer of air, hot light and full of
yapor Is for time held down by
denscr mir above 1t. Restless. expand
ing tnmultuaus. Ii moves about like II
beast nj bay until thinner place In
| the air above Is found: then up It mad
| lN PUSHES. and into the vacuum left be-
| hind the OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES hnstens from
all directions. pushing and twisting
| md pouring upward until II has fallen
| Into II regular spinning around com
| mon center.
The cyclone. once formed, PUSHES
AMY from the tropics toward the pole
| and begins It's career of destruction,
hrusing. Wreeking and sinking tho
iuekless ships which happen to be In
| its path More and more of the sur
| rounding atmosphere IL drawn Into. the
| whirl until the storm often covers an
arcn nearly LOCO miles In diameter.
Sometimes II fiings Itself upon our At
Iantie eoast and tears flcreely through
| forests. fields and cities. Then, again.
| II sweeps AWAY across the broad ocean
ind dashes Itself upon the COASTS of
| Europe once In awhile II SO adrotly
avoids the land tint we never know 1t
has passed until ships come In torn
and broken st. Nicholas.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-21
Tho MuskeIIunae.

The Indian name of this great fighter
of the fresh water lakes and trlbuta
ries Is "esoXmasqulnongy Our nat
uralists have the word translated Into
about eight or nine different styles, but
the correct way of spelling 1t In our
language is undoubtedly .muskcl
lungc." Most fishermen, however,
pronounce and spell It to suit them
selves and no man seems to he nm nc
cepted authority. II Is one thing In
Canada. another In the st Lawrence
and another In the great lakes The
favorltc among New Workers Is mus
callonge." The fish reaches n length
Of seven and half feet, and the big
gest ever taken ~ said To have
weighed ninety-two pounds. In game
ness il Is said to surpass the tarpon
Of the Caribbean and the tuna of the
Pacific New York Press
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-21
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.


Your dog never hothers any one
When the Joke Is "on" you II Is never
very funny.
There is II good deal of inhumanlty
In human nature.
How loud the door bangs when some
one else slams IT,
II Is easier To keep II secret than 1t
Is To keep II promise.
Every one Is superstliious enough To
believe In the dollar sign.
You cunt judge the speed Of n loco
motive 10y the way II whistles.
There are lots of happy people, but
they are unnotced In the noise the
wretchcd make.
As we grow older we are NIL com
PEELED Ia give up much of the spunk
we displayed In youth.
If you think you ARE right, go ahead,
IL you want to, but don't expect every
one To 50 With you.-Atehlson Globe
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-21
Old Glory Humiliated.

One instance Is known In which Old
Glory's shame is the crown Of II fam
ily's prestige Al the battle of IIln-
densburg the American troops were
defeated by the British under the com
mand Of IN Irish officer named Ross.
In recognition Of his services In WIN
ming this victory his sovereign granted
him the title of Ross Of iilndensburg,
and 10 his crest WAS added an Amer
icun flag, reversed, with the shaft
broken The title Is hereditary. In
our generation the possessor Is a colo
mel of the Irish fusilecrs And this
Ross of Bladensburg uses as his crest
today our stafs and stripes turned up
side down aud with the shaft broken
In two. Chicago Record Herald.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-21
HIS ODD =AD.
The Collar That Gave Plumley Sec
ond Start In Business.

The Collar That Gave plumley a Sec
ond Start In Business.
"Nothing succeeds like perseyer-
anee,a said Marlt Twin mt II dinner
when the luck seems most against
us, then we should work and hope
hardest of NIL In moments Of dis
couraecment let us remember my old
friend Henry Plnmley of Virginia CITY.
Henry llamley ran n collar factory.
Times We're reported to be hard with
him. When his factory, which was
very heavily insured, burned down,
there WIS every Indication that he
had set the place on fire himself III
order 10 gel the insurance money. Vir
ginla CITY WAS the soul of honor In
those days. Shocked beyond words II
rose en- nasse, seized Henry Plumlcy,
put II halter round his neck and lynch
ed him.
"3nt he did not die The sheriff mr.
rived and cut him down In time. He
was fried and found guilty. and he
served II term In jail.
ION his release you wouldn't have
thought that he'd return to Virginia
city again. eli? lie did, though. lie
came back, reopcncd his collar factory
and prospefed.
"What gave him his start was the
odd advertisement with which he an
nounced his return to business among
III. Preceded by II brass band, Henry,
In n great gilt chariot. burst upon our
IL. II
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-21
Claws Ready Wit.

When Henry Clay was stamping
Kentucky for election, at one of his
mass meetings an old hunter of wide
political Influence said, well Harry.
I've always been for you, but because
OF that vote (Which he namcD I'm
goin' az In you"
LET me see your rifle" said Clay.
1t was handed to him.
rs she n good rife 2"
Eyes"
did she ever miss fire.
well yes, once"
Why didn't you throw her away"
The old hunter thought moment
and then said, Harry, I'll try you
again"
And Harry was elected.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-21
BUYING OLD RIDDLES.
Many Fine Instruments Have Boon
Picked Up Cheap.

Great numbers of fine old violins and
yioloncellos that come into the high
class market Of London are procured
through the medium Of advertisements
Inserted in obscure country papers
and especially those OF ancient cathe-
dral cities.
OF course few of the iiddles thus OBJ
talned are Ncritnhle masterpieces, but
great many Of them are fine exam
pies of early English and foreign max
ers, and they are often bought for RI
diculousy small prices by a group Of
experts, who have brought the busI-
ness to lucrative system. Many IL
struggling family of long descent, In
some out of the way part of the coun-
try. happens to see In the one county
newspaper of the week that good
prices are given for old iiddles, and
some long forgotten instrument In Il
lumber room or put away ON n shelf
suddenly comes TO mind.
Correspondence follows The dealer
sends a deposit In order that some iid-
die spoken of may he sent to him and
examined. and he usually replies that
the instrument sent is dilapidated and
but so so generally, but that he is Will
Ing To give 30 shlllings or e. for 1t. In
great many cases the offer Is nc
cepted oirhand, and In this way most
of the finest iiddles cXtant of the sec
ond class come into the hands of deal
ers. Only lately cello that came
from n Shropshire farm Mt the price
OF r. sold the same day to west
end dealer for nearly Zoo
One of the most shrewd and respect
ed of all these dealers was until II
year or two ago humble member of
the orchestra of n London suburban
thentcr He began to advertise In re-
mote papers to the greatest limits of
his scanty wages and is now ono of
the most extensive and prosperous
dealers I'm the trade London Tit Bits
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-21
What Is the English Throne?

The English throne what Is it? Is 1t
the stone chair OF Westminster abbey ?
That IS only occupied once by each
king or queen, and that only at the cor
onatlon ceremony. Is II the chair of
state In the house OF lords or the re-
ceptlon chair Mt Buckingham palace or
the sumptuous gilt thing which the king
uses Mt Windsor when he receives the
foreign ENJOYS? II Is an interesting
question, which some people would like
to have answered. Most everybody,
however, has come to the conclusion
that In the majority of countries the
throne Is merely symbol and the ex-
pressions lie has succeeded to the
throne" and speeches from the throne"
are only metaphors.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-21
made n great frolic of the meal

made great trolic of the meal
After she had made him take the
last morsel, she decided to make him
prcSeulahlc, So she washed his face.
then she eombed his hair. and then he
but You would have done II Yourself
She WIS 50 sweet OF course She
cried they always do and he had Ia
kiss her again 10 comfort her Then
she grew Ii little saucN and tipped ur
her cleft chin and looked So irrcsisti.
hle he simply had just once more.
Mrs Netealf came In and found her
daughter knccling by Phil remberton's
chair with her head on his shoulder.
Her mother MAS So overcome that she
forgot her grammar and exclaimed,
why. Marjery, you've been being
kissed
Mother" said Marjery, "hew can
you speak of sueh things before Il
strange man.
lie is acting like stranger, Isn't
Are you engaged"
You'll have To ask him. said Mar
jory Il don't really know"
"Why. Yes, Mrs. Metcalf." answered
Phil we are / am sorry MarIory
never told YOU"
"Why. Phil" exclaimed his sweet.
heart You know We have never men
toned II"
Mother" She cried don't YOU thinl,
father must be lonely downstairs
alone? should think you'd hate to
leave him"
Mrs, Metcalf went and told her hus.
band. who said he was delighted that
he would rather have her marry Il poor
man who promised We'll than Il rich
one who did not Phil stayed II week
and 30 with him He was six feet
three, but he persuaded this little maid
that he could not live without her
that loneliness would he his undoing
SO they Mere married. not downstairs.
rs they ought 10 have been, but up In
the coy room where he had first seen
her In the nurses clothes
Mr. Metcalf gave her AWAY and Tom
was best man, while Mrs. Metculf
stood very near and smiled through
white dress With the open neck and
looked like IL morning glory. In her
hair she Wore no orange flowers. not
even II "sunburst the gift Of the
groom but she did Wear Il moth
eaten. much used feather buster
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-21
Spying on Bargain Gifts.
The engaged girl was found study


Ing life In an auction room.
81 don't expect to buy anything" she
said, "but want TO see IL anybody
know buys anything. lot of auc-
tlonccrs are advertising that they have
on hand brio brac and pictures and
odds and ends of furniture suitable
for wedding presents. That set mo to
wondering If any OF my friends would
try to avail themselves OF these auc-
tion room bargains when buying pres
ents for me | saw two girls here this
afternoon who have been invited to
my wedding. One bought some kind
OF brass bowl another vase. They
got the things dirt cheap | fancy they
are for me If they arc-well. Just
whit til those girls get married"-
New York Press.