Los Angeles herald., 1907-09-17
WIT SPARKLES
AT BANQUET
ALEXANDRIA TURNED INTO A
JOKE FACTORY
BEST EFFORTS oUTDoNE BY
FUNNY MEN
American Press HumorIsts Amuse
Each other by Telling Stories That
Have Never Been Printed
and Never Will Be

One hundred of the funniest men in
captivity-the men with whom the world
laughs daily-gathered around the BAN
ouer table in the Alexandria hotel last
night and told stories. That was about
all they did-tell stories-but the world
at large missed about ten thousand dol
lars worth of humor. for every man knew
he was in the company of his peers and
tried to surpass anything he had ever
done before. Most of them did.
There were many courses of the ban
| uuet How many no one but mine most
| WhIttemore knows, for before the hsh
| course had been reached Rec. Robert j.
| Burdette, who for the evening was just
simply bob" Burdette. and Strickland
w. Gillian who grew famous when as
a member of The Herald staff he wrote
| Ion again, on again, gone again. FIN
negan," swapped yarns trst eacn toio
his funny story so that the entire table
| could hear it and enjoy it, then the con-
test grew warmer and finally developed
| into a merry war of personal reminis-
censes of funny men.
| w r. Rose. the Cleveland Plain-Dealer
| man. sat between the two Jokists, or
| there is no telling where the controversy
would have led them. The merry war
was waxing fast and furious when
Amiable Secretary Frank z. searisnt
nut in his peaceful oar and told funny
story that the whole table had to
laugh at.
If ever a mans face was his fortune
n Is '.Strickr Gillilan's. His mug is a
sure cure for dyspepsia and Bob Bur
dettes laugh is more contagious than the
bubonic plague. Between the two the
other funny men didn't have a fair
chance until Burdette, as toastmaster,
introduced lem
"Too Old" Says Burdette
Rurdette introduced the speakers in the
funniest speeches of the evening. he
modestly called himself back number;
told the humorists gathered about the
board that he had known their fatners
and grandfathers and was getting too
old to be really humorous. And all the
while he was funnier than a goat.
The text of Burdettes sermon on
bumor was "a merry heart doeth good
like a medicine"
In his little after-dinner talk Bur
dette introduced character little
known to the literary world. It was
Rose Field, brother of Eugene tlelo.
.'If there had never been Eugene
Field the world would have known
Rose Field and loved him." said Bur
dette "As 1t was Eugene Field
eclipsed him and the world lost
bright literary light.
"That never was one of my failings'
sighed Gillian. I've never done any
thing to make 1t difficult for my broth
ers.'' And yet when the tallest build
ing has crumbled to dust "off agin, on
ag'in. gone agin, Finnegan" will be a
classic.
Thomas A. Daily of Philadelphia, |
president of the Press Humorist's as
sociation. introduced Burdette as
POSTMASTER.
when Burdette had the floor to him
self he told about l.-s eraly journalistic
life on the Peoria Transcript. He de-
clared he was of the old school and |
added as an aside that when you found
anyone of the old school you had dis
covered an old stiff.
Difference in Schools
The difference in the humor of the
old school and that of the new was his
theme. He said that the humorist of the
old school took one little solitary idea
and pumped it full of wind until II
reached a column and half whereas
the new school humorist had to take
the same idea, or one very similar anu
reduce it to paragraph.
you younger fellows who are doing |
paragraphs that make the world laugh |
with you are doing better work than |
your fathers and grandfathers used TO
do" said Burdette. You are doing
better work than any of the old school
can boast. You are doing better WORK
than Mark Twain"
Then he introduced Will j. hampton
of New York.
Hampton was urged to say something
about "yawps" but cleverly lodged. and
told some delightfully."- funny experiences
in running Republican newspaper in
Kentucky when the Democrats had about
g. 900 majority in that state.
He recalled his first book review, which
was of Rise and Fall of the Mustache."
He brought out a roar about the boy
who was a wonderful mathematician
and the wise examiners failed to fig
ure out the answers that the lad gave
SO quickly to the most profound ques-
tions. He referred to himself and others
of that day as of the palezoic age.
| He declared DIR. Burdette's claim that
he couldn't write humorous paragraphs
now was not founded on facts and de-
clared if the Hawkeye man would go
where there was less climate he could
again make the world laugh.
Burdette Sings
DR.. Burdette sang Rocked in the
| Cradle of the Deep" in imitation of an
the accompaniment of a panorama ma
chine which had a rusty squeak This
was by way of introduction of w. G.
Rose of Cleveland.
The younger Rose sang an original
topical song, which he had dashed off in
busy moment When it came to the
refrain of "All say Aye the entire as
sembly voted throughout the song and
the vote invariably shook the Alexandria
| from truck To keelson. The song fol-
| lows:
belong to twenty lodges. and I'm chairman
| of them all;
When 1 tap my little gavel there is order in
| the hail.
I'm great on parliamentaries-a least that's
And when hen / put a hotion. why put it in this
way:
Chorus:
i All who are in favor please say "Ayei'
/ All who are contrary raise your hands up
high.
The noes have lost-the ayes have won.