New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1907-07-21
a Peace Congress Of Crooks.
of Held Conventio
Ia Sing Sing.


Never did The Dove Of Peace eco more con-
tentedly than last Wednesday morning at 10
o'clock, when. To the solemn roll Of the organ
n The grand old convention hall AZ the Peace
Palace AZ Sing Sing. the delegates 70 the First
International Peace Congress Of Crooks marched
slowly into the room and took their seats
Through some misunderstanding apparently
there were no visitors. only your correspondent
and professional executiorer from upstate
held down the gallery reserved for onlookers
And this fact gave rise to the frs comment
passed by the august assembly. Even before the
distinguished assassin Dr. WuIley, known in
three continents for The number Of rich widows
Re has helped into the hereafter. proceeded TO
deliver his formally written inaugural address.
he was prompted by the discouraged glances Of
his colleagues toward the visitors gallery. to
use Us -eXt for Il few Introductory remarks.
'Gertlemen," he began. If there has ever
been wanting a proof Of the value Of a peace
congress like the one now converting the de-
porable emptiness Of the visitors gallery affords
one. Bloody war has 50 long Tayaged the pockets
and homes OF men. hostiltties between those
who live by borrowing and those who struggle
along on salaries and incomes have reached such
& point that the whole world is groaning under
the overwhelming burden Of its enormous stand
ing armies Of policemen, detectives. jailers and
hanguen. and this state OF affairs has per
sisted through 50 many generations that men
and bloody struggle between two classes Of
world citizens IS a part Of the necessary order
of things. Hence, as you see. the world az large
looks incredUloUsy upon this attempt Of ours
20 sraelioraJe ths horrors OF war. We assemble
for the purpose Of drawing UP, IN mutual ex-
change Of views and by careful discussion, a set
OF rules international IN their scope and Of such
fairness that ali men, regardless Of purely per
sonal interests will gladly strive TO enforce
them. And what response do We get from the
world which IS grooming under the burden Of
supporting millions Of standing patrolmen and
pinochle PLAYING detectives? Gaze at the Wis
itors' gallery for reply A newspaper reporter
and su executioner alone appear 70 hear what
We have 10 say"'
After crushing his pent-up emotion by a su-
preme effort OF VIII, Dr.. WuIey went on 70 an
nounce briefly the precise aim Of the conYen-
lion:
AT the outset gentlemen, let me voice what I
know through extensive correspondence 10 pe
the spirit Of this distinguished assembly. Let
me declare, q preamble TO our proceedings
that We are firmly convinced OF the ethical need
OF cooperation among all races and natonaIltieS
In teatherng the nest Of the Dove OF Peace
~ the same time we refuse 70 be carried away
by absurd theories: we recognize in the warfare
eternally waged between so-called honest men
and crooks q condition which all our Wisest de-
Eberations cannot wholly remove. Man aIas'
Is SO constituted as 70 seek wealth by the easiest
road; some Of Us find bookkeeping more arduous
A'-a4a lle lD-l-lp, JuSl 1s 9D4i+I 49,
among Us have q natural leaning toward FORM
ing trusts and giving rebates As every man
must make the most OF his native abihtles' III
the opinion Of ell social theorists TO-DAY, II -
evident that grim war can never be halted a4Io
gether between those who visit Mulberry Street
ard those who have Offices there Nevertheless,
Just as the governments Of the world are CO.
Operating TO mitigate the evils or interhauoIlai
strte, 50. too should we crooks organize TOT tiie
sake Of reducing 10 & minimum the suffering
and nv he 81
existence in which We and our opponents 'h7
so-called honest men. are engaged
Wild bursts Of applause drowned the last few
words. Ny companion, the ezecutioner' sHlleo
erlmly and said nothing.
The convention committee, cohuIueu 'i4'
Doctor has drawn up the following programme
ior this mornings session: The most important
Topic is naturally the limitation OF armament
being an exceedingly complicated proplehl' VIC
nave decided TO grapple with II at once, SO I1dt
me longest possible discussion may De oeVoteu
70 II. First under this head comes the question
OF limiting the size OF weapons, then thaL %
uniting the force. then that OF the melhou "
Use Under the first head, the committees Hii"'
" unavoidable 10 distinguish between the mo
yves Of combatants: therefore recoihLiciiN
.hat the assembly proceed to discuss the proper
limitation Of size Of weapons used IN the Io'loN
ing three cases: First, murder; second assault
ana third, self-defence"
Hardly had the speaker finished before tllck
Aeckec individual sprang 20 his feet ana oe-
Hahded the floor in no uncertain tones.
The delegate from BlackwelPs Island has ire
moor announced the chairman sweetly at tne
h sane time feeling about In the vicinity OF ms
nip pocket
wots the bloomin' use OF ali this ere rot
soout classifyin weapons anyhow, I'd Ike 10
.s shouted Mr.. F1zzy Sullivan wrathfully
A goes out OF an evenin', do ye tinK
sls Knows gamer Not me! / take wot
'is along on de tide, an does everybody
except the Rafies Of high degree. Now,