Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1907-07-19
DRIFTwOOD
BY LUE +. VERNON
1N1N1,N A;aA .a'As y !.

An SZ.O0O-mle Sun-SpOt is not OF
half as much consequence to most of
her as half dozen freckles.
AS near as | can guess at it, an
entOmOlOgiSt is a bald-headed and
specialized fellow who tries to graft a
sowbug on to honey-bee.
A man whose cuss vocabulary is
limited to BY George, would drink
church-fair lemonade and expect to
have u headache next morning.
There is not much fun in a harvest
field, when the sun is hot enough to
blister 4 baseball bat, but then man
hardly ever goes there more than
once for fun.
Senator Beveridge will seek an en-
core for Cleveland's Life Is One
Grand Sweet Song" by getting mar
ried again. Get move on, you slow
going bachelors, also get a wife.
Having regained the smile that
won't rub Off-temporarily mislaid
Turing the insurance investigation
Chauncey Dcpew has gone to Europe,
with an ample supply of chestnuts.
A Texas editor bitten by mad
dog, calls upon delinquent subscrib-
ers to pay up SO that he can 90 to a
Pasteur institute for treatment. 1t
is a pity he could not set the dog on
those same delinquents.
They say official circles
Regard as a good jOki
The reason that kanekO
Will supersede AOki
Whoever spread such gossip is
Quite sorry that he spoki.
Chief Chemist Wiley is precious
fastidious in his choice of q trans
atlantic steamer to bear his carcass
across the briny. He's not a rough
rider evidently and should be chucked
overheard from the ship of state.
The Czar pleading for international
peace at the Hague conference and
the Car forcing Douma number two,
ut the point of the bayonet, to walk
the plank, were striking royal eXemp-
liticationS of Dr. Jekyell and Mr..
Hyde.
Postmaster General Meyer has
largely increased the number of
money order offices. Now, if he will
arrange to increase the money in the
pockets of the patrons of those Of
fees. many folk will rise and call him
blessed.
An Olympia man submits this
from an Oregon paper as a pretty
good sample of near poetry:
Her face was wreathed in smiles.
His'n was cold and stern,
She had her hand in his'n,
And he had his'n in her'n."
That is poetry, all right, though
We are left in doubt and perplexity
rs to why he should have made a
noise like an icecream-freeZer, under
the circumstances.
When shall we get to the end of
the troubles in the canal zone? Just
about everything else seems to have
been the matter down there, and
now the zone is afflicted with bugs
more deadly than rattlesnakes, and
that will bring on more talk. The
next report from Panama will bear
the intelligence that an expert has
invented new antidOte to be taken
rs Il safeguard against the StingS of
the deadly bug. Will the label be.
Bug Juice?'
After all, no matter how we'll cdu-
Gated one may be, no matter whether
he lives in an intellectual realm far
above and unknown to the humble
logger of the forest, or the digger in
the mine, no matter how superior he
may feel himself by reason of wealth
and social position, he will sacrifice
all of these for just one more moment
of life were he suddenly to face death.
AT that moment u kingdom would be
traded for the simple gift that would
prolong tho most ordinary sort of
living.
The reason that Teddy wants the
| Jap to he citizen of the United
States is merely to curry favor for
the syndicates engaged in Oriental
trade" We don want any Jap or
Chinese citizens, whether Teddy de-
clares it so or not. This good old L.
S. A. for white men first. last and
all the time. Teddy, when he advo-
Gates citizenship for Japs, if he would
do the correct thing, should be
ashamed of himself, take turkish
bath in a nigger bath-house, and
play with Teddy bears the rest
of his life.
About the best scheme heard of
lately was furnished by travelling
salesman. from Seattle, the other
day, while at the depot waiting for a
train. Noticing a peculiar label past
ed on his trunk. | walked over to the
trunk and read the following: While
a trunk was being carelessly handled
at the depot. last Friday, it exploded
with great violence, tearing loose the
baggage mans scalp and demolishing
one end of the depot. thought
it rather strange until informed by
the knight of the grip that his trunks
were full of fancy china and choice
bric-a-brac and must he handled care
fully. There is no doubt about them
getting gentle treatment.
| suggest that all candidates for
the place of Senator Ankeny and
Mead, have Coming-out Party