davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-11-09

A very baldheaded man went into
the barber shop in the American
House in our town and Pumping him
self down in the chair, said: Hair
cut!'
Ed, the barber, looked at him mo-
ment, and replied: why, man, you
don't need no haircut--what you want
is e."--Lippincotts.
A German newspaper with a large
circulation publishes at regular inter-
walls little articles from America"
which are probably read with much in
terest abroad, where it is not generally
known that they are misleading. One
of them, published few weeks ago.
tells about safe deposits vaults. 1T
should be understood the corresponds
ent says, that despite the high civili-
cation as seen here in science, art,
commerce and philanthropy. there is
still a certain wildness about the peo-
pie which makes the rich man fear
the plunderer. 1t is on that account
vaults in all parts of New York City,
and there people take their valuables
when they do not require them for
public show In the opera season one
may see long lines of carriages and
automobiles in front of the strong box
places early in the evening, when the
women call for their jewels, and again
after the opera. the theaters and the
balls are over, when they return them
to the burglar proof boxes. Diamonds,
amethysts and sapphires made Of glass
are also deposited in these places and
taken out when others can see. the OPP
Grafton by women who court recog-
milton.
High prices will loosen as money
tightens.
Takes a terribly long time for a
Accent hog to travel from the slaughter
house to the meat block
A good mich COW is mighty good
property in big family.
Alfred Farlow, the official spokes-
man for the Christian Science denomi-
nation, has issued the following state
ment in reply to the rumors regarding
a successor to Mrs. Eddy; Mrs Eddy,
founder Of the faith and today in SUI
preme control of the Christian Sci
ence church, will have no successor.
Neither Mrs. Augusta Stetson, the
leader of the New York church, nor
Lady Dunmore, who has been promin-
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-11-09

entity mentioned. will ever fill the po-
stion occupied today by Mrs. Eddy
With the death of the aged leader the
Christian Science church will have no
single personal leader. The business OF
the organization will undoubtedly be
by IL board of directors
while the memory of the founder ana
discoverer will remain the only name
ever connected with the faith
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-11-09
B;liousness and constipation.

For years ! was troubled with BIZ
iousness and constipation, which made
life miserable for me. My appetite
failed me. ] lost my usual force and
vitality. Pepsin preparations and ca
thartics only made matters worse. do
not know where ] should have been
today had I not tried Chamberlain's
Stomach and Liver Tablets. The tab
let's relieve the III feeling at once,
strengthen the digestive functions,
helping the system to do It's work ma
turally.-Mrs. Rosa Potts, Birming-
ham. Ala. These tablets are for sale
by all druggists
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-11-09

$40 in a day would make trouble for
the bank. but so well read, so we'll
posted Is the ordinary Iowa citizen, so
many daily papers circulated I'm town
and country that said citizens joins
with the bankers in approval of this
kind of business protein. Said cltl-
zens knows he can get all of the chi
cago and New York drafts he can pay
for and that these drafts will pay the
larger accounts. He has been accus-
toned to use these drafts in such
larger transactions, $50 keeps up his
business deals as usual. Meanwhile
as the housekeeper remarked, we
don't need twenty five dollars a day,
cash"
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-11-09
IOWA OPINIONS AND NOTES


recent dates have called attention IN
plaring head lines to the fact that
copper and cement have of late been
cheaper than for long time ana thev
have also given wide publicity to the
fact that steel rails have gone off in
price 50 per ton. the Chelsea lndepehd-
ent exclaims: That's all right, but
what difference does 1t make to U.S.
permit ms to inquire? Who the blaZes
wants to eat steel rails, or copper, or
cement
The Anamosa Journal says; There
has been no particular change OF any
moment under the new teachers Ger
tihcate law, except to take $l3.ooo OF
the teachers money to pay MI. Riggs
helpers at Des Moines."
ut Is seldom that any man reaches
the depths where he is able to smile
broadly in the face of such memories
as must be before the mind OF Dicllin-
son." observes the Eldora Ledger.
"Your banker may seem like cold
blooded proposition at times. He may
exchange. You may get the notion
that he is Shylock and would grind
YOU for your last cent. Such Is not
the case" asserts the Ames Independ-
ent. Anybody who has to pore over
money acquires that Shylock smile
which won't come off," 1t explains
But that is all In the manner and
the surface looks. Your banker, like
your family physician, Is the man who
pulls you out of trouble He has a
heart in him as big as an OK and
when he finds you are honest and de-
serving lie will go to the limit and
take great chances to help you over
rough places. He gets that bank look
fighting off crooks and people who try
to work him for a sucker. Be good
to your banker and you will not re-
greet It." III
TT would be nothing to the dlscredit
Of Governor Cummins II he should set
a trifle higher standard for himself as
governor than was set up or achieved
by his predecessor in Office, Leslie NJ.
Shaw" declares the Rockford Regis
ter. True. he has not yet prostituted
his office by consenting to act as a
booster ana DeneIClaTy VI UoeuSs IL.
surance companies, but he could take
hold Of the matter Of law enforcement
and win the increased respect OF thou
sands Of people"
what strange thing Is court"
exclaims the Tama County Democrat.
Here comes plaintiff and defendant,
with their witnesses, each seeking JUS
tice and settlements they may
give their attention to something else.
What lot Of fine appearing gentle
men the bar is! How attorney at
tacks attorney and wit and raillery
speeds the time. Then an attorney
says unpleasant things to a witness
and sarcasm steps in to mar the pleas
ant time. That jury of our peers now
in the box What will the verdict
be? No one knows One man may be
so tenacious that he will change the
minds Of others, and practically bring
in one mans verdict. The facts are
told as witnesses see them. Lawyers
argue, the Judge instructs-then all Is
doubt. Such is our jury system, but
we do not want it changed"
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-11-09
LINGERING COLD
Withstood Other Treatment But Quick
ly Cured by ChamberIain's Cough
Remedv

Last winter I caught very severe
cold which fingered for weeks" says
J. Urquhart, of Zephyr, Ontario. my
cough was very dry and harsh. The
local dealer recommended Chamber
lain's Cough Remedy and guaranteed
1t, SO gave it q trial. One small bot
tie Of 1t cured me. believe Chamber
lain's Cough Remedy to be the best l
have ever used" This remedy is for
sale by all druggists.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-11-09
Pneumonia Follows 4 Cold

but never follows the use Of Foleys
Honey and Tar. 1t stops the cough,
heals and strengthens the lungs and
prevents pneumonia Mcbride & Will
Drug Co.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-11-09

vi9or and cheerful
ness soon disappear
when the kidneys are
out Of order or dis
eased.
Kidney trouble has
become so prevalent
that 1t is not unconi-
mon for a child to he
born afflicted with
>Aank kiducys IF tlle
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-11-09
Women as We'll Is Men Are Made
Miserable BY Kidney and
Bladder Trouble.

u Kidney trouble preys upon the mind,
aiscourayes and lessensambition; beauty,
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-11-09

The Anamosa Journal SAYS There
has been no particular change OF any
moment under the new teachers Ger
titicate law, except to take $4,000 or
the teachers money to pay Mr.. RIGGS
helpers at Des Moines
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-11-09

ut is seldom that any man reaches
the depths where he is able to smile
broadly in the face of such memories
as must be before the mind OF Dickin-
son." observes the Eldora Ledger.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-11-09

child urinates too often, ifthe urine scalds
the flesh, or if, when the child reaches an
age when j. should be able to control the
massage, ii is yet afflicted with bed-wet-
ting, deper. .,uon it, thecause of the difh-
Guilty is Esdiey trouble, and the FIRST
step slloul,. ". towards the treatment Of
these Important organs. Tins unpleasant
trouble is due to a diseased condition OF
the kidneys and bladder and not to
llaDit as most people suppose.
Women as, we'll as men are made niiser.
able with Kidney and.bladder trouble,
opd both need the same great remedy.
I'VE mild and the immediate effect OF
svamp-RoOt is soon realized. 1t issold
BY druggists, i'll fifty ST.
cent and one-dollar M ~ :. 81: ::ssEA
size bottles. You may ~! 4 /: Il
have sample bottle ss!z.ss1 n
sby mail free, also Home Of swampRo's
p,nphlet telling all about Swamp Root,
including many of the thousands of testi-
monial letters received from sufferers
s.ced. In writing DR. Kiiner & Co..
4 Einghamton, N. Y, be sure and mention
this paper. Don't make any mistake,
Int remember the name, Swamp-Roott,
DR.. Kilmer's Swamp Root, and the cd.
dress, Binghanton, N. Y. on every
Assttle.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-11-09
-3sepahle1,s 7arslaltu,u, Jaaua Nuuemher 1907

now than 1t did then! It's an UNI
reasonable man who objects to paying
more for pcrterhonse than for soup.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-11-09
Topics Of the Times

What seems like Carnegie oppor-
tunity is offered by monarch by the
name Of Yborshi who is advertising
a kingdom for sale in several Contin-
entail newspaper. He offers his throne,
crown, sceptre, dominions and subjects
for sale, with thirty wives thrown In,
for Nhe modest sum of 100000 His
rain is that Of Aysbonia. strip or
land in Africa $50 miles long and nine
ty miles long. The power Of life and
death is the kings prerogative, ana
goes with the crown as does the grant
ing OF all concessions. A special at
traction OF the offer is the royal
which is neat diadem made of hum
an skulls. The throne is made OF
skulls and thigh bones. Thus far his
dusky majesty appears to have had
no offer.
Amelia-Herbert, dear. your office is
on Orange street, isn't it?
Herbert--Yes; why?
Amelia-That's what I told papa.
He made such funny mistake about
you the other day. He said he'd been
looking you up in Brad street.-Chtca-'
go Tribune.
The Church Of Scotland has made an
interesting departure by starting 9.
market garden colony in connection
with it's social work Already the
committee in charge has established
labor homes in some of the large CEN
tiers. Their general object $ not to
train mere army Of Woodchoppers,
but to enable their men eventually to
take up agricultural work, either In.
Scotland or abroad The estate ur-
chased for the market garden, at
cost of $21OO0, is situated at the health
resort, Bridge of Allan.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-06-12

other earthquake as a rest and diver
sion. Even a Japanese incident would
answer his purpose.-Birmingham Age
Herald.
According to press dispatches, Abe
Ruef is a unique character. But &C
cording to most thinking persons his
lack of character is the most pronoun-
ced element in his composition.-Mem-
phis News-Scimitar.
The prosecution having magnani-
mously refrained from incarcerating
Schmitz during his trial, San Fran
cisco is spared the humiliation of NOV
ing the city hall to the city jail
Minneapolis Journal.
Abe Ruef says he never took cent
OF money dishonesty. Reports indi-
cate that Abe would not take anything
smaller than a dollar.-Omaha Bee,
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-06-12

Few men appreciate being made
the candidate of party for the
Presidency, only to be knocked
down on election day. In 1896
Bryan fell 6oI,854 votes behind
Mckinley. IN 1000 he was $4,000
behind. And Judge Parker. in
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-06-12

In the death OF Senator John T.
Morgan there has been removed
one of the grand figures of Am
erica. Senator Morgan was man
of national and Of even interna-
national, influence. He was one
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-06-12
THE GOLDEN GATE TWINS.

1t is certainly alarming to contem-
plate the widespread popular prejudice
which makes mt so hard for people like
Schmitz and Ruef to get dispassionate
consideration from judge and juries,-
Indianapolis Star.
In other words, Mr.. Ruef fOndly
hopes that the way OF the confessor
won't be so hard--Anaconda Standard,
Ruef says schmltz's gang "would eat
the paint of a house." and at that the
paint was probably whiting. barytes
and dryer.-Detroit News.
Mayor schmitz begins 10 long for an
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-06-12
STANDARD OIL.

And not a word yet from Chancellor
Day on Commission Smiths report of
Standard Oil wickedness,- Hartford
Evening Post.
1t must keep the Standard Oil Com
pany busy doing so many things that
are forbidden by the Federal laws
Chicago News.
commerce commission is now going to
It is reported that the Interstate
haul up the Standard Oil Company for
the violations of the railroad rate act
to which the commissioner of corpora
lions recently called attention. These
are troubmlous times for the Standard.
II hardly pays to BIO an octopus when
there is legal club for every ten
taele.-Baltimore News
How Herbert Knox Smith seems to
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-06-12
Business Outlook
On The Mainland

iron products and for cotton goods Both going actively
sumption and such products sold we'll
into 1908 In other directions reports favorable
facers looking ahead with less high
of commodities and labor only checking demand making
extensive future operations less hazardous Our railroads
already feeling quite seriously the increased of operation
earnings frequently show important declines spite of gains
and railroad beginning introduce
shut down the unnecessary improvements
operating forces possible Such all gen
era but they multiplying ard significant indications of bust
reaction which regarded much probable than
months In this connection the attitude of labor is important
the advance wages the important generally
high costs In all probability the advance wage
its zenith and the time very distant when either will
have be made business cuaed throwing
of employment
Speculation the Stock Exchange somewhat active
ing the liquidation referred above AS prices began
reach previously low records there tendency
the ground that shares will be attractive long
dividend payments maintained There buying rally
which prevented the spread of further apprehension The sharp
rise in wheat of detrimental the stock market There
for believing however that the damage
spring wheat has been considerably exaggerated The
quesonab backward fully weeks behind the average the
condition Of wheat often better than has been reported should
have weather in June July the chances still for
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-06-12

Once more Mr. Bryan has been hurl-
ed out of a vehicle only to land unhurt
on his feet. 1t doesn't seem to make
any difference to him whether it is a
carriage or a band wagon.-Indianapo-
lis News.
When Mr.. Stead said that church in
fiuenoe for universal peace wasn't
worth a row of pins, perhaps he was
thinking of the ohOiTs,-DetToit Free
Press.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-06-12
Bryan And Hearst
And Their PARTY


1904 fell before Roosevelt 54555 short The Republican Ma
tona Organization the The Democratic Or
ganizaton fragmentary affair." that has been Jared
and cohesvenes the who control the machinery
candidate the Democratic ticket would the country learn
who his campaign before pungng into the fight The
Baltimore keeps shouting the Democrats of New York
together that put line for 1908 But Hearst with
his independence League prevent Democrat excepting
himself carrying that State year Hearst also has
Massachusetts, Illinois and Iowa. all the
The Republicans his scheme the stealing enough
Democratic national ticket the candidate
worthy be- carrying Of the States mentioned
York New Jersey also Then Mr. Bryan like another
lion the pathway that he would favor good
President who has been loyal to the Democratic ticket and who
ported him 1896 and This aimed at the prospective
ddacy Judge Gray other leading Democrats the East
The has considered by conservative Democrats of
city, whether would be worth the while TO at
tempt capture the Presidency with good around candidate
opposition which Bryan and Hearst would against
today Mr. Bryan have the Demo-
presidential there against him The
Democrats looking for Daniel Manning William C. Whitney,
William Harriy attend the details of and
organize party The Chicago Tribune OF opinion that the Re
pubans nominate weak candidate he Democrats will obgngy
Bryan opponent and thus help the Republicans to capture
the Presidency
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-06-12

average Gotten backward and decrease
actually reported but repanng steadily going and is altogether
to fab estimate of the acreage this staple Corn
not yet planted and though late start uavoab it also
early act killing theories since there is abundance Of
time i'll which all defects may be overcome.
The prospect of the stock market for moderate fluctuations Pos
b the general tendency will be downward especially in the absence
of large operators but pronounced declines almost
bring substantial rallies such have witnessed the past few days
Ihave discovered the Standard Com
Chancellor
lard ckedne rfordlIo
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-06-12

w. t. Stead declares that Surface
courtesy is not true chivalry." Hence
his careful avoidance of surface cour-
tesy?-Chicago Evening Post
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-06-12
The Passing of
Senator Morgan


who give their lives their talents their best thoughts for the good
of the commonwealth
Although Morgan held life upon his office in the
Senate abused part Legislative branch of government
urged against charge
thing the public Elected Democrat al
and consequence generally with the minority party
in the Senate nevertheless who yielded powerful
the affairs of the nation His upon public
showed breadth grasp the question: the solid worth that
years maturity He years the
his DEATH the his mind had been
upon great questions condition which generally
supposed attend of the advanced Of the Alabama
He prominently identified with the Annexation of the Ha-
waan Islands His inquiry the involved the struggle for
supremacy islands the questions involved from
comprehensive and thorough exposition of the situation His last
great fight which however losing his battle favor
of the Ncaraguan the Isman canal Circumstances
bned the selection of the Panama
The Senator Morgan well model to the pub
lie of nation He died poor for he served his nation faithfully
and we'll But he died rich in the gratitude of his people rich the
love of those who know his worth.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-06-12

Under date of May IS, Henry
Clews, the New York banker,
writes of the business situation. He
is of the opinion that the business
outlook continues complex and
opinions vary widely as to pros
poets. There is a brisk demand for
Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1907-06-05
Too Much sweeteninn.

1t is related of General Sterling Price
that he once stopped at humble cabin
in Missouri and asked for supper. The
good wife of the house was thrown into
flutter of excitement over entertaining
her distinguished guest and was profuse
with apologies for the not very tempt
ing menu, consisting of corn dodgers,
boiled collards and wheat coffee sweet
ened with sorghum. The hungry officer
ate heartily of the coarse food, but, not
relshlng the very sweet coffee, passed
his cup, saying, "Not quite so much mo-
lasses, please" "The ideew gasped the
loyal hostess. "Catch me skimpin' your
sweetenln'w as she tilted the molasses
jug upward, while amber ropes of
"sweetenin' overfiowed cup and sau-
Ger and threatened disaster to the spot
less homespun CLOTH "Why," enthusi-
astically, that coffee would be none
too good for General Price if twas all
olassesP'-Kansas City Star.
Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1907-06-05

track was straight, and we could see
the coming locomotive strike the
grease. l thought 1t better to await
the effect of our expedient and slowed
down. The engine belAnd came half
way up the rise, then began to lose
headway rapidly. She came another
quarter and stopped We could hear
the puffs and see the sparks, but she
got no nearer Then 1 knew her
wheels were spinning around without
holding to the tracks. l pulled my
throttle wide open, and away we went
again.
Coming to a fork, we stopped and
with q wrench broke the telegraph
wire SO that they couldn't as easily
signal which road we had taken; then
we sailed off on the one leading
straight west. They must have relied
on the locomotive sent to follow us, or
there wasn't any other available ahead,
for we made some seventy miles when,
coming to river, we left our engine
and, getting boat, pulled down.
stream.
What puzzled us was that the cur
rent ran northward. But you may be
sure we were well pleased that 1t did.
We drifted and pulled by night and
hid in overhanging bushes by day.
One morning as it was beginning to
grow light and we were looking for a
hiding place | saw Buck throw up his
hands and give yell. l looked where
he was looking, and there on an emil
nence were the stars and stripes. We
were within Fremont's lines In the
Shenandoah valley.
can remember several meals In my
life that have especially enjoyed, but
nothing like the breakfast l ate that
morning.
Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1907-06-05
THE BRIGHT RECRUIT.
He Tells the Lieutenant What He
Would Do In Battle.

Wouiu 10 III 1dttics
A lieutenant, probably hypothetical,
was examining a recruit
"What would you do If you met an
enemy on the field of battle?" asked
the examiner.
"Shoot him dead, SIR"
Fright. And what If you met whole
battalion of the enemy?"
"Shoot them dead, sir"
Nonsense! You couldn't do II. You
should fall back and give warning.
What would you do If you met cow
belonging to the enemy?"
''Shoot it dead, SIR"
"Wrong"
"Fall back and give warning, SIR"
"Wrong again. You should catch 1t
by the horns and lead it into camp.
What would you do If you met me on
the field?'
"Shoot you dead, SIR"
"Rubbishi I'm not the enemy.
wear the same uniform you do"
Fall back and give warning. SIR"
wrong, stupid Pm not battalion
of the enemy"
"Then, sir would take you by the
horns and lead you into camp"