The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1907-08-21
He Wanted The Job.

A drummer. has handed the fol-
lowing to The State:
employers who want experienced
men at office boy salaries may profit by
this, I enclose herewith 4 letter
written by l. young man to- Philadel-
ohin merchant who advertised in the
Philadelphia Ledger for an experienced
stenographer and typewriter at s. per
week. It is not u joke, but Il fact.
The letter is Us follows:
g., 203 Ledger Office
Dear Sir: | beg TO offer myself rs an
applicant for the position advertised
in this mornings Ledger. am i
Young man. 81 years OF age, having
had a business experience of % years.
being connected with the United States
embassy at Madagascar for some time.
and feel confident, II you will give me
a trial, can prove my worth to YOU.
am not only an experienced book
keeper. proficient stenographer and
typewriter, excellent telegraph opera
tor and erudite college professor. but
have several other accomplishments
which might make me more desirable
than ordinary mortals. am an eX-
perienced snow-shoveller, 4 first class
cornhusker and peanut rooster. have
some knowledge of removing super
Auous hair and clipping puppy dogs
ears and medal for recitins "Curfew
Shall Not Ring Tonight am a skillful
chiropCdist. and practical farmer. can
cook. take care Of horses, crease trous-
ers, open oysters and repair umbrellas,
and am also the champion plug-tobacco
chewer Of Pennsylvania: my splitting
record being 80 feet 6 inches.
Being possessed of great physical
beauty, would not only be useful but
ornamental as well, lending to the Sa-
cred precincts OF your office that de-
Iightful artistic charm that Satsuma
vase or astutfed billy goat would. My
whiskeNESeing quite luXuriant and eX-
tensive, my face could be used as a
doormat. penwiper or feather duster. |
can furnish high recommendations from
Chauncey NJ. Depew. Jacob S. CoNey.
Kaiser Wilhelm, Capt. Clarke. the
prime minister to Dahomey, the dog
catcher general of Timbuctoo and the
Akoond of Swat.
As salary. would feel was rob-
bing the widowed of bread and swlp.
ing sponge cake from the orphaned If |
were to take advantage of your munlli-
cence by accepting the fabulous sum OF
So per week. would be entirely will
ling to give my services for less, and by
accepting s1.37, it would not only give
me clear conscience, but would also
give you an opportunity of increasing
your donation to the church. pay your
butchers bill, keep up your life insur-
ance, found home for INDECENT fly
paper salesmen and endow a free bed in
the cat home Really, old man, your
unheard of charity borders on the su-
pernatural, and, to the ordinary mind,
appears like reckless extravaganza.
| can call to see you any Saturday
night after II O'Clock, or can be seen
any Sunday morning in the choir lott
OF our church Broad and Dock streets
where t am at present employed as
first assistant organ blower and under
study OF the janitor.
Hopefully yours,
SOCRATES NJ, GOO.
ALA Ramcat Alley.
P. Snow, honestly, what kind OF
man do you expect for 50 per week? Do
you want one made Of tin, or would q
nice. juicy, newly. laid putty gentleman
| fill the bill:-The State.