The Washington times., 1907-12-08

I
mis- work
] He locks for his star IN the sky
He's mute, dumb and silent, and don't
say = word.
But he'll lave II leased wire TO Chicago
next June,
Hoping TO hear them say:-Chorus-
Then they pulled Of a turn called
Undesirable Citizens" In It were Har-
rlman. Rogers, Chandler, Rockefeller,
Foraker. Mingo Saunders. the colored
sergeant, and Harry Orchard Here Is
some of the red-fre these gentlemen
turned loose:
RoGERs-somebody ought to give
him a dream book.
JOHN p.-There's no better dream
book than the United states Statutes
! regulating common carriers
! HARRIAiAN-CRappi on the table,
The meeting Of the Undesirable Cit-
zens' Association VIII now come to or
der What s. the financial situation
| ROGERS-Its getting worse Otis
Elevator is going down.
| CHANDLER-Telepb Company is
asking to nave a receiver put IN.
! ROGERS-The Western Union time
ball has dropped.
AIINGO-The Brooklyn Bridge is sus-
pended.
/ HARRIAIAN-Yes and the Washing
ton Monument is all up in the air. How
much money have we got?
ROGERS-About go million.
l HARRIMAN-How much has the Gov
| eTnment gOtZ
JOHN D.-some small change and a
lot Of postage stamps
mi
are getting careless.
JOHN Dive are making no prog
ress. What we want to do is 10 get
money quick
HARRIMAN-Cnless the banks de-
wise some means OF putting money into
'he Treasury. the Treasury cannot 80
ON indefinitely putting money into the
banks.
JOHN D.-How very unreasonable.
What's the use OF the United States
Treasury, anyhow?
I ROGERS-It serves a noble purpose.
1t gives Cortelyou a good Job.
John D. shows symptoms OF pain.
and puts hand to his headO
/ ROGERS-Qn alarm)-Whats the
matter? Vertigo, or headache?
/ JOHN D.-(Shaking his head)-No.
! RS-Stomachache?
JOHN D.-(Solemnly)--No; I think !
am going TO have a rush Of conscience
to the pocket.
ROGERs-Great Scott; it may be
fatal
| JOHN D.-Gentlemen, I feel that ]
ought TO do something 20 relieve the
situation. Since you have all failed tc
devise a scheme that win put the
Treasury beyond the need of any fur
ther bond issues. I myself will come
to the rescue. 1 will pay that "a. .oGO, oOC
fine. CThereupon walks over TO Cor
telyou and hands him a L-g bunch OF
money!.
Fake Messages Come.
! All this time. at intervals, there had
been fake messages coming in about
what was happening 10 the fleet on lis
way from the Atlantic to the Pacific
Just 10 show that the army was re-
, membered, six very fat men on hobby
horses gave an imitation Of ''the gen
erals practice ride by command OF thu
, President"
, Governor John johnson of Minnesota.
who was talked of es a candidate for
the Presidential nomination agains-
Bryan, was present. and had sonp
flung at him with the following chorus
t They took him round to see Mr. Bry-
r an, Mr.. Bryan, While Bryan.
And while they introduced him they
were cryin':
E Here's the man we bet our money
on,
Bryan put him through a cross-exan-
nation:
Johnson said he would like the nomina-
ton;
Then Bryan shook his head;
Want Il myself" he said.
Poor John! Poor John!
/, Finally, by way of showing what they
cared for high place and dignity. sew
eral of the club members stacked ur
in a row the seven new Senators pres.
ent-Bourne. Brown, Dixon, Davis
Paynter, Guggenheim and Gore-an6
! gave them a lecture on how to be a
United States Senator. II the Senators
live up to their lesson, they will never
be reelected.
Guess Of Honor.
? The guests of the club we're:
The Japanese ambassador.
The British ambassador.
George f. Adams, Old Point Comfort
Va
!. P. Aleshire, Gusrtermaster general
u S. A
J. Joseph w Babcock. wisconsin.
4 William Barnes, ", New York.
Q John Barrett, djrcci0r Bureau Of Amer
ican Republics
James Bertram, New Iork.
. Albert j. Beveri1ge, Senator from In
diana
Oscar F. Blacknan, New York.
Arthur blanchard, washington, d. c.
Jonathan Bourne. Senator from Oregon
1 George W. Boyd, Pennsylvania Railroad
Charles F. Brooker, Connecticut.
Adds b. Brown, Washington, d. C.
Norris Brown, Senator from Nebraska
Ray Brown, Everybody's Magazine.
Willard II. Brownson, rear admiral. u
s. ~.
Joseph Bryan, Richmond Times Dis
patch.
E. C. Buckland, N. Y. N. H. & Fl
Railroad.
= r. A. Bull. New York
James Francis Burke. Representative
from Pennsylvania