The Washington herald., 1907-02-10

II you have determined 10 become a
social success, you must put away all
sensitiveness and not be easily disc0ur-
ageG' There is no place in the world
so easy as Washington IN which to estab-
lsh oneself in a social position for a
person who goes about it intelligently.
But may / say a word TO you conf
dentially2 Is il worth while. all this an
n0yanCe you are undergoing, for a little
ephemeral social nOtoriety? What does
il mean, after ali? The world eventually
does justice to every ones personality.
The Arbiter has no desire to preach, but
why not give up this ambition which you
seem absolutely unable 10 satisfy and
devote your energies to something
Worthier? Go teach the orphan boy to
read, the orphan girl 10 sew" If. how
ever, you are convinced you want to shine
In society, this is the most potent sug-
gestion / can give you: Hire a social
coach to put you in the position you seem
unable TO secure for yourself. Believe
me, it is possible to attain IT, I could
cite any number Of examples where people
have come here absolutely unknown.
tradespeople, people of the humblest con-
neCtiOns, who are to-day dictators I'm the
social world Make your house "a center
of hospitality and good cheer. make real
friends and there will be no question
of a social position for YOU, il will come
unsolicited You say that you are not
the only person who apparently has
right to a good social position. but who.
from some lack, either Of experience,
skill, courage, or what not, is kept per-
petually outside If a person is entitled
to a social position. 1t means that she
has the standing. the wealth. the ability,
the knowledge, to acquire H. Lacking
these, she is not entitled 20 Il.
s. Question: The Arbiter. Washington Herald: Is
It the custom IN Washington for a young sri 10
ask a man to call. OF should he do 50 at frstY
Thanking yog in advance for your kindness, l am.
Very truly. yours, H. c. b.
Answer: Under no circumstances. Her
mother, or If she has no mother, her
chaperon, should invite a man to call if
his acquaintance is desirable II is al
ways a mans privilege to crave permits
sion to call.
g Question Ny dear Arbiter; VIII you kindly tell
ne whether it is good form for family without
butler, after formal informal call has been made
"a follow The callers into the hall for the purpose
Of helping them with their coats &c, or even for
no other reason than extending the conversation or
good-bys" until the last moment: W. c. T.
Answer: Most certainly. If there is
no experienced maid or butler TO open
the door. some member of the family
should go with the caller 10 the very
threshold. This again depends entirely
on the kindness and grace Of people.
When I'm doubt. do the kind thing. Books
on etiquette VIII tell you that you should
take leave Of your visitor at the drawing
room door, but this sUppOses that you
have an experienced person TO expedite
his or her departure. Always remember
that IL is better TO be too kind than too
cold. I have seen ambassadors accom-
pany a visitor from their drawIng-room
TO the very door OF their carriage. and 1
have seen members of the nouveau richie
class. with inexperienced servants, stand
in the hall and allow their guests to ex-
pertinent with the complicated latch of
the door. OF course, there is a mean be-
tween these two extremes.
10. Question: Ar5iter: Is It proper FOR a young
girl % 20 ont with man sic doesn't haow init
mateiy. in the evening, without a chaperon7
INQUISITIvE
Answer: Certainly not. It is inexcus-
able.