davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1907-05-30
A TaetfuI King.
From Penny Magazine.

The king of Italy was driving his moton
car in Rome one day, and, turning a corn.
er at a rapid rate. he nearly collided with
another motor car coming in the opposite
direction to himself. .rf
He pulled up to apologize, and was
greeted with a storm of Indignation, the
owner of the other car-an American
dressing him down in fine style, and wind.
ing up:
"scorchers like you should be strung
up"' .... ..-... p .. '..."
what, in front of the palace, for eY-
eryone to see?" said his majesty, smiling.
Don't care where!" roared the foreign
err, so long as It is done properly"
A few days after the latter, who was a
distinguished member of American So
ciety, was present at an audience at the
Quirinal given by the king.
The doors were thrown open, and, to his
amazement and horror, the American
found himself face to face with the motor
list he had so layishly abused a few days
earlier The tension was painful until the
king, smiling, advanced with outstretched
hand, saying: 10
'Are all Americans as peppery as you.
Mr.. B?' 81.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1907-05-30
Engineer Helps Out Cook.

bTOm the hduSdS lily star.
Eyes, that was pretty fast run we mad,
On the Hummer" said Conductor Cad
Smith at the Union depot recently, but
the run we made on the California special
.ast Thursday night was a winner. We
eft Bloomington forty minutes late and
when 1 got to the register book at La
Sale street we had made ii up and had
.hree minutes to our credit. That's goin'
some! AS / passed the diner on my way
20 the head end the cook beckoned to me
and said:
"'Look a-heah, boss. This yeah range
IS jahed bout eight inches outer place
count dat dab engineer man goin' round
dem curves In too big a rush.
'"The range was out OF place, all right"
continued Smith, "and when reached the
engine sad to the driver:
4" The darkey back there Is going to
hold executive session with you because
you Jared his cookstove loose
How much?' asked the engineer.
"'He says you knocked 1t eight inches
out of place, said l.
You tell that African for me-" said
the engineer, that II he will wait till we
go back tonight I'll promise to give him
q ride that will put the stove back in
place and scramble his supply of eggs ir
the bargain"
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1907-05-30
PALE, WEAK PEOPLE.
MADE STRONG AND ENERGETIC
BY DR.. WILLIAMS PINK PILLS.
General Breakdown Caused by Defl-
cient Blood Quickly Corrected by
This Tonic Remedy.


A feeling of general weakness, poor
appetite, loss Of breath after the slight
est exercise and broken sleep are some
of the symptoms Of general debility.
You may think that they have no relation
to each other and that you will worry
along, hoping all the time to feel better
soon. This is q mistake, for every one
of the symptoms is caused by bad blood,
which must be made pure and new
before health will be restored again. A
tonic treatment is necessary and for this
purpose there is no better remedy than
DR.. Williams Pink Pills.
Mr.. J. G.. Havey, of 95 Willow St.,
Chelsea, Mass. says: "1 was sick for q
number of years from general debility
and Indigestion. was never free from
stomach trouble and my nerves were 80
shattered that the least excitement un-
fitted me for any serious work. My
sleep was restless on account Of terrible
pains in the small Of my back. These
pains would sometimes last for month
or two. My sight grew weak, there SEEM
ing to be blur constantly before my
eyes. couldn't concentrate my mind
on my work, and the attempt to do so
completely exhausted me.
81 was finally forced to give up
position i had held for twenty
years. After trying several medicines
without help, I read of DIR. Williams
Pink Pills and gave them trial. They
made me feel so much better and 50
much stronger that started in business
for mysalf here in Chelsea. / have
never had return Of my former sick
ness and cheerfully recommend DIR. VII
iiams' Pink Pills as an excellent nerve
and blood tonic"
Or. Williams Pink Pills have long
been recognized as an excellent tonic
remedy in cases of Indigestion and gen.
eral debility, where the stomach and
other organs of the body are weakened
Erd disordered simply through lack OF
proper nourishment They have also
been especially successful in curing
anRmia, rheumatism, after effects Of the
grip and fevers.
A pamphlet on Diseases Of the
f'.ood and copy Of our diet book will
ia sent free on request to- am cne inter-
.stad. Ega..
Or. Williams Pink Pills are sold by
! druggists, or sent, postpaid, on receipe
pGiee 81 ceIts per box, six boxes for
80. bv tie DR.. Williams Medicine
larg, s;chcnertady, q. X
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1907-05-30
Nothing 4 Ate
Agreed With Me.
MRS. LENoRA RopENHAMER.

Mrs. Lenora Bodenhamer, Il. It. ID. ],
Box 80, Kernersville, N. c., writes
Il suffered with stomach trouble and
indigestion for some time, and nothing
that | ate agreed with me. was very
nervous and experienced continual
feeling of uneasiness and fear. ! took
medicine from the doctor, but it did me
no good.
II found in one of your Perana books
a description Of my symptoms. / then
wrote to DIR. Hartman for advice. lie
said | had catarrh Of the stomach. I
took Peruna and Manalin and FOLLOWED
his directions and can now say that
feel as well as ever did.
II hope that all who are afflicted with
the same symptoms will take Peruna, as
It has certainly cured me-"
The above is only one of hundreds who
have written similar letters to DIR.
Hartman. just one such case as this
entities Peruna to the candid consider
alton of every one similarly afflicted IL
this be true Of the testimony of one per-
son what ought to be the testimony OF
hundreds, yes thousands, of honest, sim
eere people? We have in our files great
many other testimonials.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1907-05-30
Carrots Buys an Easter Hat.

Grafton, N. u, RECORD.
Poison Carrots drove carefully into towH.
last Friday and hitched his team, q mule
and a bay bropcho, to a telegraph pole
and started out to sell nineteen dozen fresh
eggs. He called at the printing office on
his way to market and explained his mis-
sion. He was to sell the eggs and buy
mis- mother-ln-law an Easter hat, and he
had a blue print of the plans and specifi-
cations for the same in his pocket drawn
bv the hired man. The hat was to have
a fat roof with a storm entrance in front
and a summer kitchen behind. There was
to be a cooley running around the brim
and emptying into a frog pond dip at the
sell with the hat headed north. After
Poison had thus far exposed his mother-In-
laws desires In the way of a hat, he drove
a dog away from the egg basket and went
out and backed his team of of the rail-
road track to allow the Walhalla train to
get by apologizing to the conductor for
Interfering with the traffic. and after ask
ing the brakeman how he was fixed for
eggs and finding he had no need for any,
being a single man with a meal ticket he
came back to the office and began putting
the plumage on his mother-in-law's hat
large ostrich plume. the color of red ink
was the start in at the front and made O
graceful curve over the main hat. On the
west side, as the wearer approached the
hen house from the north, was to be
popular grove, showing the birds nest
half way up a dead tree. On the other
side hitching post. little green grass
and half an onion were to nestle costly
together. There were a few other fea-
lures. but as the day was getting hotter
and as Poison had considerable to do be-
fore night, he folded up his plans, picked
up his eggs and went about his business.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1907-05-30
DIR. TALKS CT FOOD.
Pres. Of Board OF Health

&
~What shall eat?" Is the daily In
quiry the physician is met with.
10 not hesitate to say that in my judg-
ment, large percentage Of disease Is
caused by poorly selected and improp-
erly prepared food. My personal expe-
rience with the fully cooked food.
known Us Grape Nuts, enables me to
speak freely of Its merits.
"E'rom overwork, suffered several
years with malnutrition, palptation Of
the heart, and loss of sleep. Last
summer was led to experiment per-
sonally with the new food, which l
used In conjunction with good rich
cows milk. In a short time after l
commenced its use the disagreeable
symptoms disappeared, my hearts ac-
tion became steady and normal, the
functions of the stomach were prop
erly carried out and again slept as
soundly and as well es in my youth.
II look upon Grape Nuts as a perfect
food, and no one can galnsay but that
1t has a most prominent place in a ra-
tional. scientific system Of feeding. Any
one who uses this food will soon be
convinced Of the soundness of the prin-
clple upon which II is manufactured
and may thereby know thelfacts as TO
its true worth" Read, "The Road tc
Wellyille," In pkgs. There's Ilea.
son"
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1907-05-30
Entartainin, tha c,u6en.

The Princess de Montglyon, OF Paris
whe came to America TO exhibit her beau-
tifui and famous collIos at several kennel
shows. said at dinner In New York.
apropos of an embarrassment: THAT re-
minds me OF story they have been tell
ing lately about Queen Alexandra of Eng
land The Guards band was playing on
the terrace at Windsor castle during
luncheon, and the queen was so pleased
with a lively march that she sent maid
of honor TO inquire what 1t was. The maid
oc honor blushed deply as she answered on
her return: "s>ome Where the Booze *
Cheaper your majesty" '.. .
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1907-05-30

y .
Mrs. Clews-Parsons, whose daring book
on marriage has created so much excite.
ment, said at dinner In New York:
''They who are happily married are
shocked at the idea OF trial marriages. but
they VIII are unhappily linked together.
and are yet too proud and sensitive tG
get a divorce, must see much in my ides
that Is OF value. How many marriages
would be dissolved IL the dissolution coulG
De accomplished without shame! How
many married people feel toward each
othef like a husband l heard of the other
day,
''He said to his wife at breakfast, crusti.
~:
"I dreamed about you last night
What did you dream? she asked.
dreamed l caught chap running
away with you
Z And what did you say to himT she
inquired l!stlessly
asked him what he was running
for"
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1907-05-30
His Absent pueaI Mind.

From Harper's Weekly.
The grand duke of Saxe-Weimar, who
Ia the next heir to Queen Wilhelmina, is a
wealthy young prince, 28 years OF age, un.
married. and has. In Germany, a reputa-
ton for perpetrating bulls" Once, while
visiting a public school. he noticed two
boys OF striking similarity in appearance.
Why, what remarkable lIkeness! he
exclaimed. These lads must surely be
twinsv
Yes, Your Royal Highness." remarked
the principal. and he beckoned the two
frightened youngsters to him.
'Ah." said the prince. placing his hand
on the head OF one of them, what 4
your nameG'
''Heinrich"
'And how old are your"
Six" answered the boy.
And your" he said, turning to the othef
lad.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1907-05-30
THE SOCIAL HOUR.
The Invertod Rake.

s... From Harper weekly.
e There is a man in Pittsburg who Will be,
married in a short while, and will occupyI
the house few rooms of which he has
used during his bachelor days. He takes,
the greatest pleasure in showing his inti-'
mate friends. about the place, and IL es-
pecially delighted at the astonishment
they express when his own den" Is
reached. He has always been quiet. stu
dious fellow, but as refitted the room gives
the appearance OF the lounging place of a
regular rounder. There are racks Of long
pipes; photographs OF actresses are stuck
about the chimney glass; a shelf Of beer,
stems runs all the way around the room,
and few feminine gloves, handkerchiefs
and fans are scattered about.
Great Scott. jack" the last visitor
gasped, whore did you get this OUTFIT and
why?"
Bought out college fellow" was the
conipiacent reply. Just think how pleased
that dear little girl will be when she sees
all this truck and thinks how much wick;
edness She has won me away FROM
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1907-05-30
Riverside Repartee.

.r." from harperS weekly @H tueteE
The lone fisherman was having miserable
luck, and the presence of a small boy did
not contribute to his amiability. Ths
youngster seemed greatly interested as the
man impaled a struggling worm on a
hook. ...r# y r@...E
What yer fiishin' fer?" inquired the boy.
''Sardines," retorted the fisherman, tes'
tily.
"Huhw grunted the youngster. edgina
away. THAT crooked thing on tn end OF
yer line wouldn't take no prize In can
opening contest"
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1907-05-30
The Lawnmower Month.

Thomas A. Hueston, the champion pool
player of the world, replied to toast on
THE Spring" at a dinner in New York.
THE Spring" said Mr.. Hueston, has
Its joys. 1t has it's sorrows, too. Here is
a story: @
Smith was suing Jones, his next door
neighbor, for three feet OF ground which
he claimed had been encroached on. Jones'
lawyer began cross-examining him. .
80 Now, Mr.. smith, the lawyer said, did
you. or did you not, tell my client last
year, that the three feet OF ground in
question belonged to him?' -. a.
Permit E..
mo: permit nothing. Answer my
question. yes or no. Did you tell Mr.. Jones
those three feet Of ground belonged to
himT
Yes, did said Smith desperately;
but please remember that the month was
April. and we were both working our
lawnmowers at the time
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1907-05-30

Many Elk lodges I'm the west have
adopted President Roosevelt's sugges-
tion and decided to abandon the elk's
tooth emblem Many Montana men
have been collecting elk's teeth for
years and holding them for a rise. One
man at Billings, Mont. has thousands.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1907-05-30
A LONG Wait.

When Henry Labouchere was attachI
ut Washington, an angry Br.tisher came
to the embassy and demanded TO see the
British minister, says London Tit-Bits
Mr.. Labouchere told the irate visitor that
the minister was not In.
"Welr" said the man angrlly, 'I must
zee him, so l shall wait till he comes"
VERY good" responded Mr.. Labouchere
suavely, pray take a chair" He re-
sumed his writing. At the end OF an hour
the visitor asked when his excellency
would be back. .-.
II cannot say exactly" said Mr.. La
bourchere. w..
But you expect him back?" the visitor
said. ..... ..... ......
"Oh. certainly" replied Mr.. Labouchere,
and again went on writing. Another hour
passed and again the visitor bounced up
and demanded II the minister was likely
10 arrive within the next hour.
II think not" said Mr.. Labouchere
Jlaod!y; ''the fact Is. he sailed for Europe
IN Wednesday. and can hardly have
reached Queenstown yet. But. you know
e a6Ged 10 quell the rising wrath OF the
8Nikis5r you said you would wait till he
aa,s sack and that Is why offered you
i clair"
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1907-05-30
carryinq Out the Provision.


The widow OF village grocer was in
1ustrlously placing the large, rosy checked
apples on the top of the diminutive shriv-
eled ones in the barrel when Farmer Giles
entered the establishment.
Il want that tub o. butter" he said.
IAN those haas, and that lot o. sugar,
and"
"The shopkeeper rubber her hands to-
gether with delight. Yes, sir" she
beamed, delighted to serve you, I'm sure.
And what else may l supply you with?''
WELL" went on Mr.. Giles, there's all
them bottles of tomato sauce, and them
boxes O. biscuits an'-an' all that other
stuff he concluded, vaguely, sweeping
his hand around the shop. t1f
Good gracious!" exclaimed the widow.
now rather alarmed, whatever do you
want with all them goods?"
IT dunno, I'm sure" was the farmers
puzzled reply, but I'm the executor OF
your late husbands S will, an the lawyers
Just told me it's my duty to carry out the
provisions. I've got three hay carts wait
In outsiCe . st..
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1907-05-30

The French war department is en-
gagged I'm making out lists of motor We
hicles which may be regarded as avail
are divided into three classes. according
to the carrying capacity. The census
includes the public service vehicles
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1907-05-30
Final.

From Meggendorfer Blaetter.
"Do you know that am soon to be en-
gagged TO Mr.. Huber?'
rs that so? Has he spoken to your
Inother2"
mo, but my mother has spoken to
him."
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1907-05-30

To be on good terms with human ma
ture, Be Well! Garfield Tea purifes the
blood, eradieates disease, regulates the
digestive organs and brings Good Hedithi
Manufactured by Garfield Tea Co,
Brooklyn, N. Y. Sold by druggists
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1907-05-30
imperative.
U-.-. DnAE

The Simple One-Going away for youl
health! Why. that is very sudden. Does
your doctor recommend It?
The Wise One--No. my lawyer.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1907-05-30

In Goldfel dthe other day a deputy
sheriffs pistol was jersed out of his
pocket by the restiveness OF the horse
he was riding ard fell Ia the road. The
horse stepped on IT and SO discharged
cartridge. the bullet from which killed
a girl who was passing on the sidewalk
II cut her tubular vein
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1907-05-30

adrA. WinsAow's pooTHIEo SYRUP rur Childrsn
beothingI softons the gums reduces innRmmatIon ~.
Ass pain. cures wind collie. a can't bottle
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1907-05-30
A Warning.
From Life.

II you have any room left in your tool
oox, be sure and fill Il with money. You
anything but money. II there is any
ioubt about this, throw the tools away.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1907-12-18
WHY THE CAROB
FAIL TO FRUIT.
By P. J. Wester.

Noting that G. A. P, in the Novem-
Der ~ issue of the Florida Agricultur-
ist, regards the carob (Ceretonia sill
qua) as fruit tree failure in Florida,
few remarks may be of interest.
The carob is dioecious, or bearing
male and female flowers on separate
plants and this unquestionably accounts
for the failure of the tree G. A. P.
mentions to set fruit if no male trees
grew in the vicinity
From an introduction made by the
United States Department of Agricul-
ture 1899, from France, a considerable
number of plants were distributed in
Florida Those received and planted
out at the Subtropical Laboratory, Mi
ami, November, 1902, established them
selves rapidly and bloomed during the
winter Ioo4-o5 for the first time. AS
the trees that b1oomed were all male,
no fruit deve1oped.> The next winter
few female blooms appeared but the
trees were probably not old enough
and the flowers dropped. Last winter
several trees bore fruit, some consider
tured in May and several female trees
as no male flowers appeared no fruit
set. 1t may be, however, that as the
trees become older they bear two
cropsa year. AS far as I know, horti-
cultural literature has nothing to say
regarding this The trees were all
raised from seed and there was great
variation in the size of the pods, the
pods from some trees being nearly
twice as long as those from other
trees. Variation in the food value also
would no doubt be found in an analy-
sis Of the pods. The profusion of
bloom at the date of writing promises
we'll for a good crop again this year.
1t is worthy of note that the rainfall
during the past year has been slightly
over 80 inches as compared with the
normal of 90 to IS inches, and that the
trees apparently have not suffered from
lack of water during this long drought.
The trees are growing on high pine
land underlaid with coral limestone,
and are now upwards of 20 feet in
height.
Analyses show that the fruit or pods
contain 20 per cent sugar and per
cent protein. Over IS per cent of the
total weight is digestible. According
to Mr.. Walter T. Swingle of the
United States Department of Agri-
culture, the carob is difficult to trans
plant and it is best to plant the seed
where the trees are to stand-from 20
to As feet apart In Italy the seed
lings are grated, or budded, when they
are three years DID, The trees begin
to bear when they are three years old
from the graft Instead of planting
male trees in the carob orchard to Sc
cure fertilization, male branches are
sometimes grated on the female trees.
The tree may, according to the same
authority, attain height of 20 feet
with IS feet spread and may produce as
high as 5000 pounds of pods.
!. The carob resists, successfully, sever
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1907-12-18
of some tree by hand with a whip saw.

I of some tree by hand with whip saw.
water close to the bank of a stream
near to his field. The current from
underneath turned the wheel and
buckets on the side carried the water
to the top of the bank, when they
emptied their precious contents into a
small hume, from which it was dis
tributed in bitches to the field After
this came the community ditch.
Such were some of the primitive
modes of the southwest as I knew
them. There we're others, many of
them, but these will give you an idea
of the difficulties under which those
barren wastes were made into beautiful
farms and groves, and today are among
United States.
But today instead of the tin can,
the little banked up patches and the
wooden wheel, there are great canals
many miles in length, costing from a
few thousand dollars to a million or
more to construct. These furnish an
immense amount of water This water
is distributed in open bitches to the
field or grove, and thence scattered
evenly in small burrows three or four
inches deep. The land having just
been leve1ed these shallow burrows are
made so they will have but little fall
just enough for the water to run and
follow the burrows and not spread over
the general surface, thus giving a sort
of a sub-irrigation. This prevents the
1>@1-
as it would if the land was flooded.
Flooding the soil is always to be avoid
ed when it is possible to do So
These little open burrows, where the
soil is firm enough to carry the water
for some distance, is we'll worth the
consideration Of the people of Florida.
It may be the one to adapt. or may
not. but [ am quite sure it is we'll
worthy Of investigation both for groves,
truck, and general farming. Where,
as said, the soil will carry the water,
it is especially adapted to groves. In
some sections in Florida earthen til
ing is being used quite successfully for
truck, but the same system does not
seem to work satisfactorily when it
comes to an orange grove, as the little
rootlets soon choke tip the pipes
So. as I said at the start we are all in
the dark in Florida. In the southwest
we had something to guide us to some
extent, crude though it may have been,
h11t it was starter. There the source
Of the water was genera1lv higher than
the land desired to be irrigated, but
here in Florida it is mostly the onoo-
site, and so we have to resort to differ
etot modes to get the water on the land.
However, it does look as though we
must get it there some way.
!, p S.-Since writing the above. the
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