The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-04-17

AAAN 0AsOONOs
position. He then gave it a shake and
looked at the s%tovepipe and slowly an
swered:
Mrs. Perkins, l have no wish to ex
aggerate. but l may tell you that if
that stove fell down with a reasonably
hot fire in it, at the time the conse-
quences would be disastrous. The
chances would be nine out of ten that
the house would be burned to the
ground. Why do you askT'
because about an hour before you
came home l went to put In a scuttle
Of coal and l found one of the legs al
most worked out. The slightest jar
would have sent the stove tumbling.
I was so startled that I haven't got
over it yet"
ut was a wifely thing on your part.
Mrs. Perkins, to look at the legs Of
that stove. Not one wife in a hundred
knows OF cares whether a stove has
two legs or four or any legs at ali.
I compliment YOU"
Same Old Coal Stove.
'Thanks. There is another little mat
ter l want to refer to. About the mid
die Of last July as we sat on the We
randa one evening We somehow touch
ed upon the subject of winter heating.
You then and there declared with Il
good deal Of emphasis that this house
should be heated this winter by a fur
mace. called your attention to the
Ac1k <l>.,k ~un hoxy0 TIM coron old 0Nn1
stove before us with Its dirt and dust.
Have you any remarks to maker
"Let me see-let III see," he mused
az he felt for his memorandum book.
May, June. July. All, here it Is. I'm
der the date of July 10 I have written:
"'Sat on the veranda with Mrs. p.
after supper. She was in her usual
complaining mood. Weather hotter than
blank. Mrs. r. said that she was de-
barred from society because we didn't
have a furnace In the house. l prom
Used one for the winter, and she quit
kicking
Eyes, Mrs. Perkins, you are right.
My diary proves that you are right"
"Well, have we got a furnace?'
II can't truthfully say that We have"
"And why not, if you pleasey
Mr.. Perkins got up and walked the
length Of the oom three or four times
and pondered over the matter and then
sat down and said:
my dear second wife,
''There you go" she interrupted.
"Yor never miss an occasion to throw
that fact at me"
Should Keep Wives Separate.
SOFTLY, dearest. l sometimes speak
Of you as my second wife so as not
to get you mixed up with my first.
One should keep his wives separate.
What I was going to say when you
Interrupted me with what seemed III
due heat was that the husband who
won't promise his wife a furnace for
winter on one of the hottest days OF
midsummer has no philosophy about
him. We will mark that Exhibit A.
Again. within two days after making
the promise l ran across Johnston. He
Is In the furnace business. l spoke to
him regarding the furnace, and he said
It would cost more to put it in than
the house Is worth. We will class thai
as Exhibit B.
Determined not to stop until l had
all possible information. l figured or
the coal. l figured it down to a dead
certainty that it would take ten tons
Of coal to run 1t through the season
That would be placing ourselves in the
grip Of the coal barons. and we will
class that as Exhibit c."
ut would take two months to install
the furnace. and during that time the
workmen would have possession OF the
house. Exhibit D. my dear.
Then l consulted all medical and