davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04
JOURNAL ENTRIES

The only use a boy can see in arith-
metic is that it helps him to figure out
the batting averages of the boys in his
baseball team.
X X
An Illinois preacher is the latest indi-
vidual to attack the kiss. The kiss is
having a mighty hard time of it, but
we notice it is as popular as ever in
most quarters.
BY the way, are you having quiet"
Fourth?
The average dog can see very little to
rejoice about on a day like this.
X X Il
Ever notice that a young Britisher
who has been thoughtful enough to
bring his parents over to this country,
can have just as much fun celebrating
the signing of the Declaration as though
1t had not caused his ancestors to get
licked by our ancestors?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.
(From the Philadelphia Recor,

(From the Philadelphia RecOrd.)
Ais fair in love and marriage
Some men are not nearly SO pol
ished as their shoes would indicate.
It's many a fellows ambition to bor-
row enough to pay his debts.
Just because a fellow runs an auto
mobile it doesn't signify that he is in
bad odor.
No, Maude, dear; you can't always
tell a sausage manufacturer from the
links in his cuffs.
"You are suffering from fatty de-
generation of the pocketbook," OBJ
served the doctor, in a playful mood.
well I dare say 1 can trust you to
remove that" replied the rich pa
tient, primly.
Wigg-"Bjones boasts that he
hasn't a lazy bone in his body" Wagg
II guess that's right Instead of
eating predigested breakfast food he
positively insists upon digesting his
own"
BorroweH-HeHo! Skinnum. Found
a house to suit you YETI" Skinnum-
mol I'm looking for fiat now"
Borrowell-"Well, just passed Easy
mark on the street. If you hurry you
may overtake him"
'This hurts me more than it does
you," remarked the fond parent, as he
paused in the act of chastising his
firstborn. I'm willing to change
places if you are replied the young
hopeful, with magnanimity.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
CFrom the Chicago News.)

All isn't singing that is gurgled-
Even the best phrases of a f1atterer
sometimes fall flat.
Never Judge a woman's brllllancy
by the lightness of her hair.
Running for office costs almost as
much as running an automobile.
If gray hairs were a sign of wisdom
fewer men would have them.
Our idea of a charming woman is
one who is ignorant or her charms.
When a man has good job he
should take out a fire-insurance pol
icy.
The better acquainted a man is with
himself the harder it is to fool him.
Figures may not lie, but they are
capable of being juggled by crooked
accountants.
Some men do not care to take vaca-
ton trips because their wives insist
in going along.
When a woman is talking she dis
likes to be interrupted as much as a
man does when he is eating.
The average woman seems to think
that all her husbands good qualities
are due to her influence.
You may have noticed that one girl
no sooner breaks a mans heart than
another comes along and bandages 1t
up.
The first step towards a woman's
second trip to the matrimonial altar
| is her announcement that she will
never marry again
If a man knows that other people
are not an bigger fools that he is
| he knows all about human nature that
| is worth knowing.
On his wedding day the average
| man thinks ne is getting a peach, but
| in after years he may discover that
] ne plucked a lemon
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04
JAYHAWKER JOTS

Out at Abilene they actually try to
enforce the curfew ordinance.
Manhattan BARRIERS don't propose to
work all day and half the night. Dur
ing the hot weather the barber shops
close at $50 except on Wednesdays and
Saturdays.
How does 1t happen" demands Char
lie Blakesley, that Bill link is play
ing second base for Hutchinson? II
there is anything in name he belongs
with Joplin"
1t is asserted that hail stones knock
ed the horns off a COW out in Grant
county. Must be some Grant county
individual is in training for member
ship in the Ananias club.
I'VE wonder soliloquizes the
Quenemo News, what Alfonso will
call his little son for short when he
wants him to come in to dinner" AL
fonso probably does not do the calling
yet.
A preacher in wabaunsee county, in
the course of his Sunday morning an
nouncements from the pulpit, SAID
| Brethren, the janitor and 1 will hold
our regular weekly prayer meeting next
Wednesday evening as usual
Noting that a Garden City gambler
recently tried to lick an editor, and
that the town has now elected Miss
Duel as it's carnival queen, the Hutch
| inson News concludes that the people
of Garden City must be scrappy lot.
| i. X,
Beacon, declares that the spiked lem
onade story is fake-Kansans away
from home never dilute their whisky
with lemonade, he asserts" Wen, Mr..
Burton has been good ways from
home in his time.
| The Pratt Union says that Bob Har-
relI of that town set nine turkey eggs
Eight turkeys and one duck were
matched out. Now Harrell didn't set a
| duck egg; he has no ducks; none of his
| Union
lieves there is only one explanation fol
| it: witchcraft. Il
| independence is wrestling with thi:
| problem: Mayor Stitch recently issued
ling in the city. Playing billiards fol
a pot" was placed under the ban
Now some people are discussing mat
ter that is making the society folks
squirm. If it is wrong to play 6lIllard'
F, for 25 cents a corner. the cleveres
| player to take the pot, why isn't Il
just as bad to play bid euchre for IS
| so or SIS prizes?
Wathena Times: Mrs. Roy Settle
| wife of a French bottom farmer, haC
an adventure with a large gray wolf
| last Wednesday morning. He had beer
| feeding on her young spring chickens
| so she set trap and caught him Fol
fear he would get away before Sn'
could call the men folks-who don't like
| wolves. nohow-she took an axe an(
| killed him herself. Since this exploi
the plucky lady has been the heroln'
Of the bottoms and the story or ne
nrowess promises to be current TO
many days to come
This from the FIiawatha World is ais
referred to the committee on natur
takers: Out at William Hauber's plac'
there is a certain red bird that ever.
morning and one or two other time
In the day, lights in a tree near tn
| house, then he looks towards a certain
| window, raises his feathers and gettlni
.v,6
self against that window and gives m
shadow a good squirting. Mr.. Haube
figures it out that the poor bird ha
lost its mate and in his war on MS owl
shadow in the window, he imagines n
is chastising the culprit who robbed hin
of her.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04

pursued with what unconcern he could
muster.
I'm going away. I've at last receiv-
ed that appointment, and it is now only
to climb rapidly. Besides, it's best all
round, I think"
''Going awayl" Dolly stopped stock
still. Her lips framed the words DULY;
the color fed from her cheeks and the
whole world looked drab. ''When?" she
continued after a pause, her face turned
away.
THE sooner the better. Right off,,
tomorrow perhaps"
Jimmy"
He started and looked at her with
eager eyes, the blood pulsing swiftly
all through his veins
Don't co. she said, her voice chok-
ing in a little swift sob.
He placed himself in front of her and
his hands on her shoulders
But you are going to be married. ne
insisted, land it is no place for me. +
1 couldn't endure it,
but it is the only place for you: 1
want you to be there-at my wedding.
If you refuse, shall not get married
at all, so there.
Aldrich caught her hands and held
them in a determined grip. The wild
made him for the moment almost
rough You can't play with me mo-
ment longer, he breathed turbulently.
who is this MANI"
ne H1dH-4-lONS.
'eWho is hep" he repeated savagely.
Don't! He is hurting my hands
terribly, and"
"Well?"
perhaps he doesn't know yet that
I've accepted him. He has only asked
me three times, and the last time L
refused him. ="
Dolly, will you marry me?"
A flash of the old coquetry domina-
ted her eyes for the second.
But it is Independence day, Jimmy.
If you should ask me tomorrow
maybe
II shall never ask you again. This is
your last chance. We are almost at
the picnic grounds. And now happen
to recall that there is a little church
around the corner, from here. Shall we
go to the picnic and celebrate-or to
the church,"
Dolly tNrned suddenly and held out
both hands.
am tired of independence anyway
copyrighted. 1907. by Mary McKeon)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04
GLOBE SIGHTS.
(From the Atchison Globe.)

(From the Atchison Globe.)
You needn't take any pains to give
the devil his due; he'll get 1t.
A good many people make promises
to lecturers and candidates that they
never keep.
Hit John Barleycorn every time you
get a chance. Even behaving his best,
he is meditating mischief.
We have noticed that when a wo-
man hears that another woman was
never in love, she says, Bah"
The new neighbors next door al
ways turn out better than their FUR
niture looks when it arrives on wag-
on.
When an agent calls to collect, he
is not near as polite as he was when
he called to coax you into signing the
contract.
The Lancaster Literary society will
next Saturday night settle the question
Gan a shiftless person help being
shiftless %
When man kills himself for
woman he gets lots of sympathy, but
when a woman kills herself for
man she is laughed at.
How much useless talk we indulge
| in. Keep track of yourself some day,
and note how much time you waste
| in talking foolishness.
The pudding with the most plums
| in it for a newspaper reporter Is the
man who hates his kin and tells all
| he knows about them. Z
| Judging by what happens afterwar&
| there must be a lot of bad luck omens
attending every wedding which are
not noticed at the time.
If a man borrows your lawn mower.
| and fails to return it, don't become
| discouraged, and let your grass be-
| come ragged; borrow another lawn
| mower and go to work.
/ 70 h0 rd o.
| man gets to heaven and finds herself
| flying around in a one-pfece rope,
| with no cause for feeling in the back
| If her skirt and her waist are together.
| An unfortunate child is one whose
| mother has a short memory: She
| doesn't remember when she refuses
| her children pleasures that only yes
| terday she was child, and begged for
| them herself.
| A pretty and modest girl shocked
| this reporter recently, and this report
er is a tough old man. The girl wore
| a seemore waist, and, when she stop
| ned to play with a cat, the sight was
| tolerabld dreadful. Are these waists
| worn because they are comfortable
| or because they shock the men?
For seventeen years an Atchison
| woman has concealed the fact that
| she was related to the Bobgers, par
| ticularly worthless family. Then one
of the Atchison woman's family died,
and the Bobgers, as kin, appeared at
the funeral. 1t was too much for any
one to bear and she has been pros
| trated ever since.
An Atchison expert in flirting says
that when you take hold of girls
hand, and she doesn't say anything,
but gets that cold, steel gray look in
her eyes, as if she had sick headache
you had better let loose and run. But
If the girl grabs her hand away, and
says: NOW, you stop!" the expert saya
keep right on; it's all right.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04
REFLECTIONS OF a BACHELOR
(From the New York P,

(From the New York Press-)
A useful thing about going to col
lege is that some day you will learn
how much you didn't learn there.
One of the surest ways to have girl
think you are trying to fiirt with her
is to ride in the same street car with
her.
The reason a woman has such a
good time away visiting is how she
can worry over whether everybody is
all right at home.
If the average man had a million
dollars it would be just his luck to be
in the middle of a desert where he
couldn't use it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04

nearly everything that he is connected
with is a success. The Fort Scott
bank Of which he is president and to
which he gives most of his time car
ries over sixty per cent of all the bank
deposits of Bourbon county. which is
an indication of the confidence which
his home people have in him. These
are a few things about Grant Horna-
days personality that are not against
him in his race for governor, besides
his declaration for a statewide prt-
mary. Still. there is a possibility that
Mr.. Hornaday may not be 1t.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04

Some sour individuals who are find
ing fault with Governor Hoch because
he is devoting considerable time to
featuring this summer, would find
something else to fuss about if they
did not have this opportunity. The
state will run on just the same while
Governor Hoch is making speeches to
chautauqua audiences as it would If
he were sitting up in the state house
with his feet on his desk. Governor
Hoch will do just as good a job of
governing by working at it in between
lectures as he would If he worked
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04
HOME NEWS WHILE AWAY.

Subscribers of the State Journal
away during the summer may have
the paper mailed regularly each day
- any address at the rate OF ten cents
N week or thirty cents y month Thy
mail only. Address changed as often
ms desired. While out of town the
State Journal will be to Yo1 like
daily letter from home.
Advance payment is requested on
these short time subscriptions, TO save
bookkeeping expense.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04

Senator Fitzpatrick was in Topeka
recently looking for an available"
candidate for governor, as he is not
eaticfied with any of those now in
the field. Possibly Mr.. Fitzpatrick
thinks the senator from Chautauqua
more available than any other.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04

Barney Sheridan has got tired and
quit. After abusing w. R. Nelson and
the Kansas City Star for six months.
Mr.. Sheridan has sold his interest in
the Kansas City Post and has resigned
as it's editor and manager. 1t was evil
IDENTITY a losing proposition
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04
A KNOCK ON MARK.

Mark Twain is all in. He mas feacn-
al tho limit If he has any friends they
should take charge of him and keep him
in doors. He was running around Lon
don the other day dressed only In a
bath robe. his purpose oelng 10 at'ra ~.
nubIic notice Poor, old imbeclle, he
needs a guardian.-Paola Republican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04

Coloney ]. H. Richards placed a pri-
vate car and special engine at the dis
posal of the state railroad board to
take the members on a tour of inspec-
ton over the Missouri Pacific tracks.
But perhaps the board will conclude
that walking is safer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04

South Carolina in 1904 cast only
1854 Republican votes yet it will have
IS delegates in the Republican nation
al convention next year, or two less
than Kansas. which cast over 100000
Republican votes. South Carolina
Republicans ought to be prosperous in
a campaign for Republican national
delegates.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04

The country newspapers are getting
considerable railroad advertising these
days, and the editor is getting cash for
1t instead of transportation that he
would have to neglect his business to
use. He has the money to pay for
what travelling he wants to do.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04

Incidentally. where is that order
that was to be promulgated from Chi
cago giving everybody the privilege of
riding for two cents a mile after July
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04

There is this about Grant Horna-
day: Nearly everybody in his home
town is for him. Whenever a new in
dustry is to be started in Fort Scott.
the first thing the starters do is to go
to Grant Hornaday and ask him for
heIp-and they always get it, That is
why Mr.. Hornaday is interested in
nearly all Fort Scott enterprises, and
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04

New York is having trouble in dis
posing of it's new bond issue for the
purpose of building its new water sup
ply, the largest project of the kind in
the world. Money continues to be
scarce in little old New York.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04

Oklahoma may send a blind man to
the United States senate. but if he is
the right sort he will be able to see
through the corporation tricks in that
bOdv.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04

An exchange points out that beer
makers are never oor-financially
speaking-while beer drinkers usually
are. The moral of which would seem
to be that we should all be beer makers
rather than beer drinkers.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04

The bulldog style of battleship is
coming into popularity. 1t is to be
hoped, however. that it will not be
patterned after Pete, the White House
bulldog, who was whipped by a COM
mon cur.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04

Taft's enemies accuse him of being
only a proxy for Roosevelt. Conceding
this to be tr1e. it is evident that
Roosevelt has picked out a man of the
right size for his proxy.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04

A Pennsylvania woman burned her
husband to death. But perhaps she
usually kept him in hot water. any
way, so he did not mind the change.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04
DEPENDS.

The square deal principles are going
to win in Kansas. Whether through tne
the Republican party.-Jewen Repubh-
can.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04

1t is becoming more and more evil
Gent that there are some undesirable
citizens among the western mine own
ers, also
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04

Mr.. Rockefeller is becoming expert
as a subpoena dodger. Practice
makes perfect, you know.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04
REsTRAINT OF NOISE.

Let us hope that the ADMINISTRATIONS
will not touch off the powder trust
before the glorious Fourth-St. Louis
Republic.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04

Pretty soon the Haywood defense
will prove there never was any Harry
Orchard at all.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04
MEANT SOMETHING THEN.

IT seems odd nowadays that Years
ago D. B. Hills st am Democrat
was thought a sufficiently clear and
specific Observation-Disclosures Sen
tine1.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04
QUEST OF THE TITLE.

People may laugh at the Oxford
woman who married the bogus ear.,
but it is a question If she was any
more foolish than Anna Gould, who
married the French del
phia Ledger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04
A BRIGHT OUTLOOK

The government reports are better
this year than ever before, thanks 10
dicious Interpretation before the truth
they contain is yielded up. AS the
game stands at present, the outlook Is
for dollars in the farmers pocKets, an
the tonnage the railways can carry
and NOT a cent more for a loaf or
bread-New York Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04

'Rah for George Washington!
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04
HURRY

Burbank. California's wizard, has
perfected the spineless cacti. How
about getting busy on the stingless
MOSQUITO New York Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04

only part of the time and loafed the
balance. So why make a fuss?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State Journal is a member OF the
Associated Press and receives the run Gay
telegraph report of that great news or
ganization for the exclusive afternoon
prhlfca ton in Topeka
The news is received 90 The state Jour
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-04
FROM OTHER PENS
MIST OREY THE LAW.

M. E. ingalls,, former president OF
the Big Four railroad, was regarded
not many wears ago as radlcaI
among railway managers SO Tar as
his dealings with the public ana
frankness of utterance were concern
ed. Today he poses as the leading op-
timist in the transportation business
always ready with kind word to
cheer up his brethren who have peen
badly scared by the swinging OF the
big stick regulative legislation ana
ominous mutterings of the pubic.
Mr.. ingalls, sustains his later-day
reputation in a recent interview IN
which he remarks that the rallroad
business is looking up, due IN part 10
the fact that managers can nov
wake M in the morning and think OF
President Roosevelt without having
nervous dyspepsia or stage fright. II
seems the Indianapolis speech OF the
nations chief executive has had
calming effect upon the situation. Mr.
ingalls, saws it is because the speech
can be taken two ways, but he ADDED
Significantly, 1.-The railroads nave got
to obey the law and that VIII be good
for them. -.
The veteran railroader has evident
Nv hit the nail upon the head. Obe-
dience to the law is the basis LOT an
healthy social and business condltlons
and the railroads will find both pront
and clear conscience in it. They must
be saving a pile Of money through the
operation of the law which prohfolts
rebates, and in these circumstances IL
is somewhat ungracious to raise a big
fuss over legislation which compels
collection of passenger fares at the
! rate of two cents mile. POSSIBLY the
observation of ingalls, will apply in
this case; obeying this law may be
good for the railroads. 1t may bring
Increased profit due to increased trav-
| ell. and without question 1t Will lead
to an increase of public regard, most
valuable asset for railroad companies
| in the near future.-Los Angeles Ex-
press.