The Washington herald., 1907-06-09

-laT0T Garrett
William Roberts, who wiles away his
workaday hours molding iron I'm beautl-
ful AnacostIa, drew his weekly incre-
meat last evening. donned his best shirt
and collar, told his folk not TO expect
him home until he arrived, and hiked
across the bride to Washington promising
himself 70 take in all the palate polish
parlors from the navy yard to the
Aqueduct Bridge Being a man Of his
word, he stuck close enough 70 his seIf-im-
posed task to land in Georgetown with
the idea that everybody was cross and
pursuing nasal hemorrhages bat himself
Laboriug Inder this festive Illusion. he
grabbed a Cabin John open-face rattler
and tucked himself away between a
young man and his lady friend Both
lady and escort presented objections. but
William blew out his Tom Sha-kev bel
low-box, scowled darkly and altogether
made himself appear so extremely formid-
able that the young man began TO feel
that perhaps, after all. it was too much
70 be expected that William should
change his seat on the way out the
young lady preserved a scornfu de-
meanor that inspired her late escort TO
make one more attempt.
why don't you be a good fellow and let
me sit by my girl he whispered appeal
ingly iu Williams off ear.
William WnSes Tests.
Remove it. remove it, replied VII
liam testify. u like this seat. and butt!a
in on this weddin march prelim is right
in my line To the woods, TO the woods.
Nothing further was said. and imbued
with the glow Of moral victor, William
alighted at Glen Echo Park and sauntered
into the gayly-.ighted jncIosure. The
dreamy strains of waltz struck appeal
insly upon his sensitive ear ana he turned
his footsteps toward the dancing pavilion.
Here he found many happy couples gid-
ing about the smooth floor. Oblivious TO
everything hut the ccs-acy of rythmic
movement and the sharpness of that
neigHb0ring dancers elbow.
This for mine gurgled William and
singing out t.e smartest-lo0kiug fair one
that happened not To be dancing at that
moment he advanced and suggested the
poss. .bility of mutual pleasure i'm n whiri.
The Peary mitt that the young person
handed him would have frozen ice-cream
for an orphan asylum, but Williams auat-
only had been rendered proof against
frostbite
He followed his first defeat with a
A,.ncond at the hands OF q dapper person in
=, and then brushed no 70 third
IS one happened 20 be with a gentle
4 who was not particularly adverse to
MIN when properly started and he sug-
gested as much TO William.
Immediately % circle gathered about the
belise-aurs. and when William had prop
eriy massdcred his opponent he found
himself opposed by some seven or eight
husky sons of Chiydlry Then followed a
- game. the object of which was TO put
William through the corner pocket I'm the
park fence. There was a great deal of
enthusiasm displayed. and a fine time
was had bv au William arrived under
escort at the gate. where he hesitated so
long about leaving the grounds that sev-
eral Of the escort were put temporarily
out of their misery.
Collins to the Rescue.
Suddenly there rose the cry. Marshal
Collins is coming" and amid the cheers
Of the assembled multitude the doughty
warrior of the Conduit road strolled into
view. He had been enjoying a dance, and
had not noticed the opening Of the side
show. Attred in his niftiest evening
radiance Marshal Collins advanced to the
fray.
what means this unseemly bedlam?'
he is reported TO have asked.
&C." --." remarked William.
Those words will cost you thirty days"
SAID Collins. and he stepped forward to
perform his duty.
William skipped hastily through the
gate and cut onto the Conduit road
where he stood az bay declared himself
10 be on government territory. and de-
fed anybody % come and get him.
Carefully removing his hat and coat
which be turned over 10 r friend. after
taking some change from the coat pocket.
Collins stepped ont upon the battle-ground
acd advanced toward the belligereut Will
lam.
As ne reached his man. William launch
ed n left jab in the direction Of Collins
eyeuds, but miscUed. and cut a hunk out
of the ozone. Something went "per-biT.
and possibly "ker-bang." and, cheered by
the gathering crowd. Collins replaced his
cost and hat while William slept peace !
fully on.
No Help Needed.
Need any help2" volunteered a number
Of handy pallbe1rers.
Nope" replied Collins. with dignity.
Il got #, and I'm going 10 take it home
by myself
The crowd stood and watched, while
Collins lifted Williams feet and dlsap- /
peared around a bend in the road. drag
giHs his cargo of somnolence. In this /
fashion Collins arrived at Mayor Car
retts
What is this?" asked the young
mayor. laying down bis copy Of the I
United States Revised Statutes.
''Tts a pinch. replied Collins. 'Drunl, /