The Lee County journal. (Leesburg, Ga.) 1904-19??, 1907-03-08
Full Equipment" For Something Better.
BY EVELYN ORCHARD.

To herself. II am sure it could never
have been intended that we women
were TO get our own living we nave
not the full equipment as Alaric used
to say. SO all the time we fight against
odds" II was the physical part OF
her that was weary, nay, eXhausleo
beyond power to express. she was
only conscious of that dun ieeln5
Of misery which is the heritage OF
the continually overweight Het
never had her mental faculties Deeh
more feverishly acute; each detali q
her life. possibility Of her future
stood out before her In starving
yiyidness. And before the prospect
she felt herself quail She was thirty
three. and at the moment looked hef
full age. She stood there by the table
in the sitting room Of her little nat
on the Embankment, her llthe, her-
yous figure thrown into relief by the
yellow light in the room 1t was
summer afternoon, and though the
yellow silk blinds we're drawn closely
across the window, the room SEEM
ed full of a weird, searching light
She had chosen yellow because she
had furnished her home in the DUH
days, when the heart cried out 1oT
the glow Of sunshine And she was
too poor always to make a set OF a
cooler color for summer use.
The little room was very PLAIN;
cheapness stared at you from the
colored walls, the furniture of bent
wood, the thin art square upon the
floor. But 1t was not an offensive
oheapness, nor was there any pre-
tence. Things were plain, neat and
wholesome, proclaiming what they
were, not suggesting or striving to APP
pear what they were not
But there was no beauty Just
above the mantel-plece was one pic
ture. little river scene, painted by
a true artist, who might have been
a great one had he lived. He had
been friend of Joan's. in happier
circumstances they might have been
lovers. But the struggle for recog-
milton had killed him, and she was
left with the picture and her memoir
les It was the sheer loneliness of
her lot that had killed hope in her;
she knew that day that She must give
up, that the limit of her endurance had
been reached
She had very beautiful face, for
those who can appreciate the spirit
uelle beauty which is reflected from
within And she was a lady; dress,
manner, air, everything proclaimed it.
Had she been made of coarser stuff
sha had doubtless Jared better on
the crowded way Her profession was
journalism, in which the finer sus-
capabilities do not count Joan had
not yet, after five years of struggle,
mastered the art of putting her best
goods in the front window She was
at once too shrinking and too out
spoken; it was her misfortune al
ways to speak at the wrong time
That day the last remnant of her
assured occupation had been taken
from her by the firm that employed
her, and given to another, whom she
knew to be less competent though
much more pretentious Disappoint-
ed, disheartened, ON the verge of
tears, she looked round hopelessly as
she spoke under her breath the
words of her confessions I'VE have
not the full equipment" A whole
world lay behind them. a world of
bitterness and establishment
Presently, conscious of the sickly
faintness of physical exhaustion, she
went to her little kitchen, boiled her
kettle, and got herself a cup Of tea.
She had an egg with it, and a slice
of bread and butter, after which she
felt better When she had cleared
away, and made her little place the
picture Of order it always was, she
sat down at the table to write
1t was an important letter, letter
which might alter the whole color OF
her life. Small wonder that she ling.
cred, and hesitated over it, tearing III
many sheets, altering every sentence
weighing every word.
Although it was not so expressed
it was practically an inquiry regard
ing a new occupation, and the same
thought of incompetency haunted her
Her heart answered it even in the
same words: Il have not the full
equipment" She read and re-read it
and finally, with little gesture OF
Impotence, as if weary of the theme
and its treatment, put it in an enve
lope and addressed it. Yet had any
one opened and read it, they NIGH
have wondered that it had taken 81