Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1907-12-03
Oanderbons's December Forecast.
Copyright 1907 by c. H. Rieth.)

! Oanderbone's December Forecast.
Copyright 1907 by C. H. Rieth.)
December of the drifting snow
And yulelog blazing bright;
| December, when the cold winds blow
Across the fields Of white;
When winters ring is in the ground
| And the nights are clear and STILL
And the boys 60 belly buster down
The click and shiny hill.
December Of the Christmas tree
And childhood's brightest dream;
December Of the ecstacy
| OF hallowed christmas cen;
When the last sweet lullaby is sung
And children's whispers cease,
And the wee sweet stockings all are struni
Along the mantel piece.
| December Of the drum and horn
And bundles slyly hid;
December Of the one great morn
| OF mornings for the kid;
When the chimes Of sweet and mellow bell
| Are welcoming the dawn,
And the house rocks with the merry yell
| OF kids with nighties on.
December was the ninth month in tn,
old Roman calendar, and its name il
from deem (ten). When Julius Caesar
became Big Stick of the empire, thu
month contained but twenty-nine days
He added two more-one more to make
ready for Christmas, and another to re
cover from it, Christmas gifts originated
with the Greeks. Hence the saying, "Be
ware of the Greeks bearing gifts" San
Ia Claus was invented by the toy manu-
facturers of Nuremberg, Germany
where the Teddy Bears came from.
The motto for this month will be
"Shut the door!" Mr.. Roosevelt and Mr.
Bryan will be the leading presidential
candidates, and prohibition will continue
the burning issue. The liquor interests
will build walls around Peoria, ILL.,, ST
Louis, Louisville and Milwaukee, and
their war balloon will make daily obser.
vations of the movements of Mrs. Nation,
The Anti-Saloon League has consented
to let the Winter Solstice of this year be-
gin at p. N. on the 22d; but there must
be no drinking, and every one must be
in by Curfew. The 21st will be the short
est day in the year. This will be on Sat
urday, and if you are at church next day
and stay for the sermon, you will notice
that the 22d is much longer.
The moon will be full on the 10th, and
the sign of the zodiac for the month will
be Capricornus the Goat. This will
make butter 60 up, and send kids to Sun
day School.
The old mill pond will freeze again,
And every one will skate
The mollycoddle, modest swain,
viii thither go with Kate.
She'll slip In such way that che
Will see brilliant star,
And he will deeply blush to see
How long her stockings are.
The money scare will quiet down
unhappy circumstance-and money will
frequent again the pockets of our pants.
The new gold coins they're making now
without "In God We Trust" will turn up
in the hat at church as priced as any
dust. The scrip we have will be retired,
and real dough will look good, but the
old subscriber will insist on paying up
with wood.
On the I'd, Speaker Cannon will assem-
ole at Washington, where he will re-elect
himself and resume the enactment of
law in the presence of the Democratic
minority and other onlookers. The final
edition of the Presidents message will
be read, Wall Street will be given an
other physic; and it will be officially de-
ClaTeQ tDdL tulS cAlot
half capital and half water.
Mr.. Fairbanks will take refuge in the
dignity of the Senate from his cocktail
prosecutors, and several new members
will be taken into that exclusive club of
Congress assembled
will take up great public questions like
the need for new federal building at
Podunk and Coyote Center; the grow
ing demand for more elastic currency,
and why nobody will stay in the army at
the generous inducement of Sl3 month
and found-dead in the Philippines.
Persons born under the sign of Capri
cornus the Goat are great orators, think
ers and teachers; self-conscious and not
meddlesome; good story tellers, eat too
much, have style and pride, talk too
much, are distrustful, and can keep Sc
cret (if males). They are selfish, and
never get the hot end of it in the ex-
change of Christmas gifts. They con-
tinue to hang up their stockings when it
is hardship upon others to fill them.
Girls born in Capricornus are hard to
win, generally preferring parrot to the
stork.
The want. VOLTS wall will ride the blast
Where poverty prevails:
few late aggard geese will pass
With whit on their tails.
The sleigh will jingle up the road the
lines around the whip, and George and
Nellie, in the robes, will loves own
honey sip. The sleigh will hit 1O-foot
bank, and they'll 60 rolling down, with
Nellie's foot in Georges face-and walk
six miles to town.
The new rules for farmers promulgated
BY the Farmhands' Union will go into
effect on the 1st, viz: Farmers will pro-
vide automobiles for all help, and will
serve as chauffeurs; they will eat at the
second table, and sleep in the hay loft;
they will rise at 4, do the chores, and
serve breakfast to the hands in bed at o.;
they will provide a photograph and the
current magazines; hands will supervise
the teamwork from II to II, and from 2
till 8; the earnings of the farm will be
placed in a bucket every Saturday and
poured through ladder placed horizon
tally, with the ends on two chairs; what
goes through, the hands get - and what
sticks on the rungs goes TO the farmer.
Santa Claus will make the usual rounds
on the night of the oath. Men will get
cigars, neckwear and mustache cups.
Ladies will get the money - which they
would much rather have. Children will
get the stomach ache and its complied
tions.