The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-05-25
TOWN TALK
(Continued from Page one.)

uWW HIN
Continued from Page one.)
There is one man in this community
for whom 1 entertain the utmost fear.
And he is as mild and gentle a man
nered individual is could be found
anywhere. who is it? James Holt,
the tax assessor. Whenever I have oc-
casion to enter his presence, perhaps,
for the purpose of trying to have him
consent to cutting my income tax down
few thousands, 1 always assume
meek and 1owly air and wear my old
est suit of clothes. If 1 were to go
there wearing a new suit of clothes,
Holt whose eyes are microscopic,
would see a chance to slap on some
more property tax assessment and
that hand-me-down would, in the end,
cost me about 30 per cent more, for I
always make my clothes last three
years.
If ever there was winning platform
in this community, it is the one that
Colonel Sam Parker wants Admiral
Beckley to run on in the first mayoralty
contest; spending all of his salary Civ
ing luaus. This is a plea that would
please the fancy and tickle the appe-
tite of hundreds of voters, and send
the Admiral into the seat of honor,
with as vast a majority as he received
in that famous automobile contest.
1t might not cost him any more, either.
Senator Chillingworth said during the
discussion over the municipal bill that
the mayor would be IT." "the whole
cheese" as it were. He would play the
host on public functions, even the Gov
ernor would be his guest. May be Chill
llngworth had in mind that luau plat
form. But Pm for the Admiral, if he
wants to run.
!: I. :. :
Sheriff Iaukeas advancement of M
L. Needham to sergeant on the police
force recalls an incident that helped
to make his father famous.
The canniest of Scots started to steI
off a steamship and set foot in this
Territory one day many months ago
but his Decentralization was delayed
by officer Needham who was doing
SPECIAL duty at the gangway. 1t is sc
long ago that the exact details cannot
be recalled, but it was to the following
effect:
Get back to your cabin and put
on your pants" said the officer
sternly.
The Scott, undressed in his breezy
kits, was at a loss to understand
what was meant.
"Hoot mon!" was all that could bt
understood by the Honolulu police
man.
Somebody tell this gentleman tina
he's forgot his trousers" pleaded
Needham to people on the deck There
was laugh.
In the meanwhile the crowd on tn,
wharf was rubbering and the wind wa
playing with the hair on the Scotch
mans knees.
Finally someone on the wharf
If 1 remember correctly, who was il
a position to observe, looked up ant
shouted, He's got trousers on bu
they've shrunk'
But Needham would not let him pas
ashore, and in this extremity, an of
ficer of the ship had to go to the polio
station and secure from authority al
order to Needham to let the Kilti
land.
Needham received the congratula
tions of a grateful populace and wit
the coming of the abbreviated Scot
fish costume, attention was drawn t
the scanty clothing of the Honolulu
Japanese. When a Jap sees a Need
ham, since then, he draws his MARTA
cloak around him.
Young Needham, like his father,
opposed to street stunts in the "altC
gether" and now that he is clothed i
the authority of a sergeant he will Sc
to it that the rest of the communit
wears at least something similar whe
% on parade.