davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1907-07-11
STRANGER THAN FICTION.
The Tragedy In the Life of Russian
Military Officer.

The Tragedy In the Life of Russian
Military Officer.
Lieutenant Won Lemsberg of the Rus
sian guards endured thirty-one years
Of penal exile and penal service in ST.
IBERIA. He was in his day a fine looking
and highly accomplished officer. Like
many Of his fellows, he borrowed mon
ey from City Councillor Wlassow, an
old, good natured bachelor. Young Won
LeInsberg's notes continued to grow,
and the old money lender threatened to
sue unless some of them were redeem
ed. Then the young lieutenant became
engaged to the daughter of Count To
dleben and called on Wlassow to tell
him the news and to ask for time.
"You wait" said LIE, in sneering way.
I'll give you wedding present to be
remembered" Believing this to have
been a threat, the lieutenant called at
the house the next day and deliberate
ly cut his throat He opened the old
mans desk to find his promissory notes
and discovered them neatly tied up,
marked PAID and a document by
which he would have become the heir
of the man he had murdered. Over
come by remorse he surrendered to the
authorities and was sentenced to life
servitude in Siberia. Because Of good
conduct his irons were taken off after
seven years, he married a woman who
went into voluntary exile to be near a
relative, started vegetable shop in
the penal settlement which grew until
1t became a great mercantile establish
ment, and when the war with Japan
broke out he volunteered, became an
officer, was decorated for bravery and
received a full pardon.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1907-07-11
He WANTED REST.
What Verdi Did With the Key of a
Locked Piano.

What Verdi Did With the Key of
Locked Piano.
Not all the great composers have
courted the constant adulation Of the
world. Verdi used to lament that he
was unable to find a refuge, even for
brief space, from the reputation that
preceded him wherever he went.
At one time he desired to spend a
much needed holiday at the watering
place of Moltecatini. When he arrived,
he found that in one of the apart
ments assigned to him stood grand
piano of noted make On the rack,
by way of compliment, lay the score Of
I'll TrovatOre." AS soon as he caught
sight Of it the veteran flew into rage,
hastily locked the instrument, threw
the score into corner and, calling for
his host. demanded in tragic tones:
"Lead me to the spot that overhangs
the steepest precipicew
Wondering, the host did as he was
hidden, and on reaching the summit
the maestro, who was almost exhaust
ed from fatigue, flung the key of the
piano into the abyss, theoretically ex-
claiming as he did so:
"Now l have done something to Sc
cure rest and quiet. On the day of my
departure | shall send a locksmith to
provide the piano with new key, but
while l am here l pray you let it re-
main as it is."-New York Tribune.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1907-07-11
WHEN BOSTON SHOOK.
An Earthquake That Rocked the City
November, 1855.

An Earthquake That Rocked the City
November, 1855.
On November Is, 1855. "a little after
4 on a serene and pleasant night, =
Boston was reused by an earthquake
which lasted nearly five minutes. A
writer of the times gives an account
Of the catastrophe, and Rev. Henry
White quotes it in his EARLY History
Of New England
One hundred chimneys were leveled
to the roofs of the houses and fifteen
hundred were shattered in part. The
streets were covered with bricks which
had fallen. The ends of brick houses
were thrown down.
1t was first introduced with a noise
like several coaches rafting over pave
ments, or rather like many cart loads
of paving stones thrown down. The
first motion was strong pulsation,
which threw my house upward. I'm
mediately after a tremor succeeded;
then instantly quick vibration with
sudden jerks followed.
The first view | had was Of the
steeples Of the churches, and I was
glad to see them standing, but the
spindle and vane Of Faneuil Hall
market were thrown down.
Many persons ran into the streets,
shrieking with apprehension Of it's be-
ing the last day or the judgment, and
some thought they heard the last
trumpet sounding and cried for mercy.
The beast creatures lowed, the birds
futtered in surprise, and all the anil
NAL creation was filed with terror.
Every face looked CHASTITY, and many
knees smote together. Never was such
scene Of disaster in New England be-
fore.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1907-07-11
The Luscious GRAPE.

The grape, whose purple food man
for century after century has con-
verified into wine, is Persian by birth.
It's cradle was on the sunny hills to the
south Of the Caspian sea, and there the
ancients ate it and enjoyed it's acid
taste. The men Of Caubul ground it
to dry powder and ate it with relish,
half as medicine, half because they
liked it. And then those days went by,
and we hear Of the renowned grapes Of
Palestine, which grew in immense
clusters and weighed fifteen pounds to
the bunch. Noah planted the vine i'm
mediately after the deluge. The book
Of Genesis mentions bread and wine,
and the Israelites complained that
Moses and Aaron had brought them
out of Egypt into a dry and barren
land where there We're neither figs nor
vines.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1907-07-11
The Bride Wins.

At Yarmouth, in st. Nicholas church,
one of the most curious objects is
known as the Devils Chair. 1t is
formed out Of the huge jawbone Of a
whale and stands at the west end Of
the church. When fisher lasses get
married, they think 1t good for the
newly welded couple to race from the
chancel, and they believe that whoever
reaches the Devils Chair first will rule
the roost in the little household they
are about to set up.-London Graphic.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1907-07-11
PRICE OF A LIFE.
Willing Murderers Plenty In the slsms
Of London.

OF Iona Ons
! am told that ten pound note win
buy mans life in London-that any
unsuspicious person can fall into the
Thames on a dark night or break his
neck going round slippery dark cor
ner or fall Under a van if a little biz
of crisp paper changes hands, says a
London writer
I know that q very distinguished
playwright, wishing to work out the
plot Of a melodrama, went into a high
class den Of thieves, made friends with
some of the leaders and unfolded to
them as something he wished to put
into execution the plan he had devised
for his Villains action
He told his listeners that there was q
very important financier he wanted out
Of the way for forty-eight hours while
he played the very dickens on the Stock
Exchange with the stocks the f1nancier
ers that an attractive lady and yacht
would be the simplest means of insur-
ing this object.
His hearers concurred. They knew
the very yacht for the purpose. A skip
Per and crew could easily be pro-
duced, and concerning the lady there
would be no difficulty whatever.
"Then, after the forty eight hours, we
will of course bring him back" said the
dramatist brightly, thinking Of his
fourth act.
A cloud came over the faces Of his
audience: well, gunner, Of course, If
you wish it, but it would save such a
lot of questions being asked if he just
went quietly overheard" the spokes-
man suggested.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1907-07-11
SINKING FUNDS.
They Originated In Scheme Devised
by Lord Stanhope,
NOPC'
Chronicle.

They Originated In Scheme Devised
by Lord Stanhope.
The general public has no idea of
the meaning of sinking fund" The
term had it's origin in a scheme de-
vised by Lord Stanhope in 1716 where
by certain taxes on the South Sea
Bubble) and general funds were made
perpetual, and it was enacted that the
surplus should be annually invested
and applied to the discharge Of the ma
tioIal debt By means of it between
the years 1716 and 1888 the sum of
$50, 100000 of the debt was actually
discharged SO rich became the sink
ing fund that it excited the cupidity
of parliament, and the grafters laid
violent hands on it, diverting it to
other purposes, SO that in the succeed
ing twenty-five years only $42 100000
more had been paid off,
The fund got into a condition SO
wretched that it did little in time of
peace and nothing in time of war to
discharge the national debt. DR.. Price
persuaded William Pitt to adopt his
plan Of investing $5,0OOOOO every year
at compound interest until with the ac-
cumulations the sum amounted to $780,
100000, when it was to be invested at
simple interest only, leaving the
amount Of interest annually redeemed
at the disposal Of parliament. DR..
Price said: "Let a state be supposed
to rim In debt $1,000 600 a wear for
which it pays interest at 4 per cent.
In seventy years a debt Of $700000,-
600 would be incurred. But an appro-
priation of S2,000,0OO a year employed
as sinking fund at compound inter-
est would at the end Of this time leave
the nation beforehand $4,000, O00."-
New York Press.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1907-07-11

Dams Father said He Never Would
Set the River on Fire.

Set the River on Fire.
Several years before the discovery Of
oil at Pithole an Irishman named Nc
Carthy and his son Dan came to this
country from the Emerald Isle. Dan
was a young man Of twenty, but his
father looked upon him as mere boy
and seemed to take delight in ridicul-
Ing him before people.
'Yis, Dan is a good by he would
say sarcastically, but Danny, me by,
yez'll niver set the river on fire."
This was his stock witticism, and it
annoyed Dan very much, but he did
his best and soon surprised the old
gentleman by securing lucrative job.
'Yis, Danny has a job all right" he
said "It's $3.50 a day, but the by II
niver set the river on fire-not he"
When oil was found at Pithole, Dan
hurried to the scene and was soon
earning unusually large wages as a
teamster. All the petroleum was
drawn in barrels, and teams were in
great demand. He saved his money,
bought an acre Of land and soon had a
well drilled that was producing 100
barrels of oil per day at $40 per barrel.
The elder Mccarthy joined him, saw
the well, received liberal gift Of mon
ey and then shook his head ominously.
otis a good thing, Danny" he croak-
ed, we're dom well; but, mark me
worruds, yezIl niver set the river on
fire, me by"
a few days later food wrecked one
Of Dams small wooden tanks, the oil
ran down the river, and there was
great excitement. AS Dan and his ia
ther stood on the bank watching the
oil float away Dan drew a match and
lighted 1t.
Father" he said coolly, 'the next
tonne yez say Oil niver set the river
on fire PLACE reminder that Oh had a
chance wanst, and-and didn't do ut,
bedad."
Then he blew out the match.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1907-07-11
Shock 20 the Waiter,

There was terrible commotion in
the kitchen of the cafe. They could
see it through the swinging doors.
Some one went to investigate.
What is it," they asked when he
had returned.
"A waiter tainted" he answered as
he took his seat. "They are slapping
him with wet towels, trying to bring
him to. Did you see that woman who
just left? She was the cause. She
gave him a quarter tip."-New York
Press.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1907-07-11
He Could DODGE.

There's nothing slow about JONES'"
he said refectively.
The other laughed scornfully
Il guess you never loaned him any
money" he said.
'Oh, yes, have" replied the first
speaker. That's what made me speak
that way. / loaned him $40 six months
ago, and | haven't been able to catch
him since"
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1907-07-11
A COUNTRY VISITOR.
The New York Man Felt Above Him
but CHANGED His Opinion.


One the most successful wholesale
dry goods merchants New York city
ever saw had the peculiar habit of re-
garding as his inferior any man who
was engaged in a business less gen.
teel as he held. than his own IN his
employ was a young Vermonter, who
felt highly elated when one day a man
from his native town who was visiting
the city called on him. The man was
somewhat rude in his manners, but
he had piled up fortune in the tin
ware business and in buying up at
discount in times of panic commercial
paper which he believed was good.
The youth introduced the Yermontes
to his employer.
"What business are you in?' asked
the dry goods prince as the two shook
hands.
1.-THE tinw-a-a-r business" drawlef7
the Vermonter.
Without word the dry goods mer-
chant turned On his heel and boited
into his private Office. He didn't rec
ognize tinware merchants as desirable
acquaintance.
''Hold on a minute, Mr.. 20 shouted
the Vermonter after the retreating fig
ure. Are these here things goin' to
be paid when they fall dueY'
From his wallet the Vermonter drew
several slips of paper, which he held
up to the dry goods merchants face.
The merchant glanced at them and eff
fusively babe the Vermonter welcome
to his private Office. The papers were
notes to the extent of $4,000 uttered
by the dry goods merchant and which,
unknown to him, the Vermonter had
bought up at big discount.-Brooklyn
Ea0lp
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1907-07-11
La The Waist.

She was examining her new waist by
the aid Of the big mirror. "Dear me-"
she exclaimed pettishly, II can't see
anything pretty in thisv'
swell, I can," chuckled the young
man who was sitting on the sofa.
"Really! And what do you see pref
ty In IT'D"
''Why, you"
And then she bIushed and said she
thought the waist was just too lovely
for anything Chicago News.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1907-07-11
a Social Cataskronhe.

"Was no one injured in the railway
collision, count?'
mo, but nevertheless it was a most
painful situation. First, second, third
and fourth class passengers all min
,gled together! Simply unheard ofy"-
Fliegende Batter.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1907-07-11
A Canine Secret.

"You can always tell the people who
are unhappy from the look of their
faces" said the tired woman, "but If
you look out into the court Of morn
Ing you never can tell which dog it is
that has cried all night and kept you
awake. New York Press.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1907-07-11
DON'T BORROW MEDICINE.
Physician Points Out the Grave Danger
.c G..


of Such Course.
"And whatever you do" said a doc
tor to poor patient, "don't take any
borrowed medicine"
Wasn't that an unnecessary eau
tion?" asked woman who happened
to be present.
'Not in this neighborhood," said the
doctor. 1T Is common thing for peo-
pie down here to lend medicine They
90 it, of course, to help each other
along. So far as l know, no one has
paid the penalty of this neighborly
kindness with his life, but it is the
greatest wonder In the world that one
half the people in the neighborhood
hasn't poisoned the other half.
1.-THE first thing sick person does Is
to describe his symptoms to his friends.
He is pretty sure to find somebody in
the crowd who has been afflicted with
apparently the same ailment Usually
the former patient has some Of the
medicine left and straightway 1t Is
proffered as a possible cure.
"'You might just as we'll have It,
says the kindly naighbor Tt will be
pretty sure to help you and will save
Doctors bills
'Of course it doesn't do anything OF
the kind. Nine times out of ten the
stuff taken was prescribed for an en-
tirely different ailment and makes the
patient worse than he was in the begin
ming, but until the altruistic spirit re-
suits In some serious accident the prac-
tice is likely to continue. New York
Press.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1907-07-11
It Didn't Break.

A little girl held mirror up before
a visitors face and asked, do you see
yourself in it?"
"Yes, my darling"
"Are you quite sure?"
"Yes. Why should | not?"
Because heard mamma say The
other day that if you ever peeped
into looking glass you'd smash it all
into tiny little bits!"
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1907-07-11
Dear To Him.

"Before we were married you called
me darling Now you seem content
to call me dear"
'sYou weren't SO dear to me before
marriage as you are now. Your father
paid your ."-Houston Post.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1907-07-11
FrOQreSS,

Progress in the sense Of acquisition
Is something, but progress in the sense
Of being is great deal more. To grow
higher, deeper, wider as the years go
on, to conquer difficulties and to ac-
quire more and more power, to feel all
ones faculties unfolding and truth
descending into the soul-this makes
life worth living. - James Freeman
Clarke.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1907-07-11
Morse Than He Felt

Cuttfng-I suppose it did make you
feel mean. Dubbs-Will, 1 should sayt
Why, felt like plugged nickel! Cut.
ting-Ah! But what a blessing it 70
that we never feel quite as bad as we
look.-P Philadelphia Press.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1907-07-11
Tart Reply.

Mrs. Hautton (maliciously) = You
were such charming debutante, my
dear, fifteen years ego. Mrs Inglefe-
Was 1? only remember you made
such a lovely chaperon for me when ]
came out.-LoDdon Tit-Bits.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1907-07-11
"Any Wife to Any Husband

"Hang 1t all, my cigars gone out"
be said. ct spoils cigar, no matter
how good 1t nay be, If you let 1t go
ovt" "a cigar" she observed, SIS in
that matter not unlike man."-New
Orleans Times-Democrat
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1907-07-11
She Got a New One.

1--WE stopped asking people If my
bonnet is on straight" The Husband
Why, my dear? The Wife, love
you too much, John, to disgrace You by
calling a body's attention to an old
bonnet like this.-Lendon Tit-Bits.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1907-07-11
immune.

''You'd better get out. Here comes
that idiot Boreham, and he's got story
he thinks is new that he'll insist on
handing you"
"No, he won't I'm immune"
SLOWS that?"
II told him the story Cleveland
Leader.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1907-07-11
The Ones That Sold.

Father-Well, how does your hus-
band succeed With his art? Does he
sell any pictures? Daughter-I should
think so! Why, there is not single
one left Of those you gave us for a
wedding PRESENT. Fliegende Batter.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1907-07-11
travelling MEor Health.u

"My doctor recommends Europe
: ''GoingY
Dunno yet. NV lawyer seems to
think Canada will do" - Louisville
COurier-Journal.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1907-07-11

Teacher-With whom did Achilles
fight at the battle of Troy?
Pupil-Pluto.
"Wrong. Try again."
"Nero."
Nero? How do you
''Then it must have been Hector. I
knew it was one of our three dogs
London Mail
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1907-07-11
Meetinq Trouble.

More people would snap their fingers
in the face of trouble if trouble didn't
have such a sudden way of swooping
down on u.s. Chicago Record Herald.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1907-07-11
First Family Row.

''Do you know who created the frst
family row on record?''
IT suppose it was Adam and Eve
when they raised CAIN" - Stray
Stories.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1907-07-11

II you can't be careful of what you
say, be careful to whom you say it,
Rolla New Era.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1907-07-11
A Popular Recreation.

.Where are you going, sandyf" said
one Scotchman to another. ''Doon to
ne clubr said Sandy. "And wha'
foor1" "Just to contradeect q wee
bik-Detroit News.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1907-07-11

The confession Of evfl- works is the
beginning Of good works. Augustine.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1907-07-11

When a man seeks your advice be,
generally wants your praise.-C Chester
field.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-06-13
Need No License to Catch Fish With
Hook and Line Under New Law

Nat II. Cohen, president of the Hi
nois state fish commission. has sent
out the following notice to the fisher
men:
You must pay a license fee for each
hoop net of 30 cents per year.
And s. for each 100 yards of seine.
And 81 for each 100 yards of tram
mel net
You may fish with hoop nets from
June l to April Il Of the succeeding
year.
You may fish from Sept l to April
- of the succeeding year
You may fish with trammel net from
June l to April Il of the succeeding
year in the Illinois. Ohio. Mississippi.
Big Wabash and Calumet rivers proper.
for carp, dog fish. buffalo and cat fish.
You must not use a trammel net in
any other place as above provided.
You must not catch black bass. pike,
pickerel or wall-eyed pike. commonly
known as jack or yellow salmon. ex,
cept by hook and line. and when 50
caught with hook and line, such fish
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-06-13

shall not be sold or offered for sale or
for shipment between the 1st day Of
September and the 18th day of April
the succeeding year.
You must nos use a seine or trammei
net between tho hours Of sunset and
sunrise of the succeeding day.
You must not ship any fish caught in
any way in Illinois between April i
and June l of each and every year.
Each net must have tag displayed
in such Il manner as to he at all times
exposed TO public view.
Each Toe yards Of seine and each 100
yards Of trammol net must he provided
with Il tag so as To be At all times eX
posed to public view.
Any device except rs above provided
is an illegal contrivancc, except hook
and line.
No license is required to fish Wit
| hook and line.
\ license can be procured from any
county, city or village clerk
Any one violating any of the provfs
ions of this act will be fined not les.
| than SO or more than $500.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-06-13
May RUN FASTER
Automobile Regulation Taken
From Cities Under New Law
in Force JuIy1.
MAXIMUM IS MILES AN HOUR
Requires Additional Provisions on Car:
for identification Both
Night and Day.

Owners of automobiles used for per
sonal use only will not be amenable 10
city ordinances providing for the Ii
censing and regulation of such vehicles
and of chauifeurs after July /. On thai
date a state law passed by the legisla-
ture at its last session viii supersede
all municipal legislation on the subject
Of autos employed for private uses.
Cities will retain control over all cars
used for public hire, ana park boards
viii be permitted still to make their
own speed regulations for the parks
and bOulevards.
Makes Distinction.
BY the terms of the new law the an
toist is permitted to drive his machine
faster along thinly settled residence
streets than is allowed under the eX
listing city ordinance. The speed il
Rock Island now is 10 miles in all part.
Of the city, with a provision for slow
ing down when rounding corners. The
state law restricts cars TO 10 miles az
hour in closely built portions Of cities
but allows them to travel at - mile.
where the dwellings are scarcCr. an;
allows them to take corners at 81,
miles A speed of % miles is pormitte,
along sparsely settled country roads.
Must Carry Two lamps.
| Between sunset and an hour proceed
| ing sunrise two lamps must be KEEP
burning on each automobile. and on tn,
face of each lamp must be the licens,
number and the initials III" in char
acters at least an inch high. The sam,
information must he ON black tags OF
the front and rear of the machine il
| fOur-inch white characters.