The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-02-10
"GOOBER" DEARTH
GIVES DISTRESS.
Vain Appeal to Bombay
Bumb for Excess Peanuts
for This Country.
CROP Is LESS THAN HALF
Small Boy Regards This as National
Disaster and Seeks As
sistance.
CROP IS LESS THAN HALF

Now the small boys heart is beating
And. avail. we hear him say:
Better Sunday laws and earthquakes
Than a circus In Bombay"
Now the steam piano whistles
Down the street in memory,
And the glitterinE. glorious golden
Street parade our fancies see.
mere the lions and the tigers
And the "efelants' and bears
There the panoplied Pegasus,
ReCkiess-TiddCn bucks and rears.
There the great white sea Of canvas
All astir our fancy sees
There the crowd that stares astOUnded
At the Prince Of the Trapeze,
But. alas, there's something wanting
Sideshow. fakir. booth or band?
No! 1t is the old familiar
Lemonade and peanuts and
They are gone The cry Is "Fritters.
Hot tamais'' and Dogs" they say.
What Of theSe2 our hearts are broken.
Take the circus 70 Bombay.
Yes. it is true, the greatest feature
Of that greatest institution of youth.
the circus, the glamour Of which attracts
even I'm sterner years, is fast passing
into the dinosaurs and mammoth
class. In q recent report sent out TO
interested persons il is stated that not
only will the American peanut crop total
less than half OF former years, but
those who formerly raised the dainty
delicacy with greatest enthusiasm seem
10 have lost much of their interest. and
in some instances the crops have not
been taken from the fields
Just what effect this is going TO have
on the life Of the nation cannot be as
yet determined.
In order to avoid a national disaster
It is reported from as authoritative
source as a popular boarding house
quite close to the Capitol that the Gov
eminent is secretly sending special am
bassadors to other peanut raising coun-
tries to entreat them to send us their
supplies
Whereas this might have been expected
TO obviate any fatal disaster, news of
the failure OF the first endeavor has
Just been received from Bombay, where
one of the United States ambassadors
had been sent 10 make overtures.
According to the reports, the ambassa-
dor had rather a bad time. He landed
in Bombay followed by a splendid reti-
nue. of peanut hawkers disguised as
prosperous citizens and was met by the
royal Bumb Of Bombay in great state
The Bumb was attired I'm state robes
copied from those Of a well-known char
acter in a Sunday comic. and ne was
supported by a ribald crew even blacker
than himself
The ambassador advanced and with
great dignity presented his country's
importunation on behalf Of peanuts.
Instantly the Bumb evinced a frantic
desire TO dance. His incentive was dis
Cerned by one OF the peanut hawkers,
who pointed out that in making his
overture the ambassador had unfortu-
nately selected the over-catchy one from
Robin Hood"
The correctness OF this was evident
when. by cutting the overture short. the
ambassador caused the Bumb and his
crew to revert TO their original placidity.
The ambassador tried a new plan. He
spoke Of dear Old times at Harboard,
knowing that the Bumb had imbibed
his first instruction in the art Of semi
savagery at that institution and that
many Of his fellows were Harboarders.
TOO.
The Bumb listened solemnly until the
ambassador had concluded his eloquent
plea for imported peanuts. and then his
great mouth spread TO his ears, and lift
ing his feet to the lit of the tune hum
med minstrel fashion by his retalners.
he sang in a voice like thunder:
''You can't have any of my peanuts
When your peanuts are gone"
Diplomacy, plain tact. hard tack. ca
jolinR cudgeIing, threats, entreatIes,
booted naught. and the ambassador and
his stan of disguised peanut hawkers
were forced TO withdraw. leaving the
Bumb and his truculent crew dancing
fantastic sand figures on the beach and
shouting pathetically:
Peanuts, peanuts, stuff you pockets, fill
your pockets.
Peanuts. peanuts. right from old Bonn
bay.
But we'll hand you q lemon
A green one with the stem on
II you monkey with the hokey-pokev
peanuts down this way"
The effect Of the decadence Of peanut !
culture in America may have a very
serious effect on the circus industry. as
perfected In this country, and the kings
OF the ring are in serious council met
Il may be that they will recommend
that an army of persuasion be sent to |
old Bombay to procure enough OF the !
nuts TO tide over the next circus season. |
As IL Is now, excessive rains and
storms have practically wiped out half |
Of the crop. and the raisers have been
so disheartened that they declare they |
Will give the industry up for something |
more sure and more profitable.
In case the Bombay supply is not
forthcoming there are still JaDan end /
AFRICA to count on.-BostOn Herald.