davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1907-12-29
- EIAFLAHST

gV1YWwwwwww1v

What if I were of those husbands.
my dear, who get up cross in the morn
ing and bang things around, and kick
like everything just because the cof-
fee is cold?'
john responded his wife, 81 would
make it hot for YOU
AS her words admitted of more than
one Interpretation. John said nothing
more about the coffee.
The old maids favorite vegetable is
to mate, o.
I'm perfectly WELL" said Leslie.
'and have just come from a regular
toper's breakfast
Whats that?''
ooh. chop, a brandy-and-soda, and
dog!'
What in the world was the dog
for?'
why, to eat the chop!"-
Young Wife:-'I wonder the birds
don't come here any more. 1 used to
throw them bits of cake l made, and
Young Husband:-'That accounts
for it,
Miss Chatter.-I knew you would be
here today to see sister.
Mr.. Cudler Interrog. )-Intuition?
Miss Chatter-No-obsery ton. You
always appear on the same day that
Ethel refuses onions at dinner.
st hear your goat is dead, Mr.. Muir
ply
'HYis. bad food gave him informa-
ton on the bowels. A thafe of a news
boy fed him wan of thin war extras"
81 cured my husband of finding
fault with the coffee" Howe" 81
let him make it himself one morning. :"
An Atchison girl is so intent upon
suffering with her steady at Camp
Alger that she eats pork and beans
and hard tack three times a day, and
takes exercise by wading through a
sand bank
A waiter in a restaurant once en-
tered the room where a lady and gem
tieman We're dining-they were just
finishing their soup-without any pre-
liminary knock What he saw led h
to stammer: "A thousand pardons,
Monsieur; was too precipitate."
why, you idiot said the gentleman,
what are you standing there for.
with your head under the tray? Did
you never see a gentleman kiss lady
before in this restaurant" "Oui,
Monsieur. but nevaire before re feesh
-nevaire.''
What a strange expression on the
face of the gentleman at the. foot Of
the table, yes, he has either com
mitted a murder or he expects to be
called on for a speech
Speaking of mushrooms and toad
stools. gentlemen" chimed in Dumley.
"a friend of mine not long ago gath
cred a quantity of what he supposed
were mushrooms. and took 'em home.
His wife cooked 'em and the whole
family ate heartily of EN-
And did they all die" inquired the
crowd. very much shocked.
NO. they happened to be musn-
rooms, you see replied Dumley with
a PARKWAY look in his eye, but 1t
was a narrow escape.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1907-12-29

What a strange expression on the
face of the gentleman at the. foot Of
the tablet yes, he has either COM
mitted a murder or he expects to be
called on for a speech
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1907-12-29

An Atchison girl is so intent upon
suffering with her steady at Camp
Alger that she eats pork and beans
and hard tack three times day, and
takes exercise by wading through a
sand bank.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1907-12-29

'I cured my husband of finding
fault with the coffee" Howl 81
let him make it himself one morning .
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1907-12-29

81 hear your goat is dead, Mr.. Muir
ply"
''Yis, bad food gave him informa-
ton on the bowels. A thafe of news
boy fed him wan of thin war extras"
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-01-05
HOW's This?

We offer one hundred dollars
reward for any case of Catarrh
that cannot be cured by Halls
caearrh cure.
r. J. Cheney & Co., Toledo, O.
We, the undersigned, have
known F.. J. Cheney for the last
fifteen years, and believe him
perfectly honorable in all bust
ness transactions and financially
able to carry out any obligations
made by his firm.
Walding, Kinnan & Marvin,
Wholesale druggists,
Toledo, o.
Halls catarrh cure is taken in
ternally, acting directly upon the
blood and mucous surfaces OF
the system. Testimonials sent
free. Price rs cents per bottle.
Sold by all druggists. a..
Take Halls family pills for
constipation.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-01-05
A Queer Play In Baseball.

Here is play in baseball that hap
pened long ago. Perhaps it never will
happen again. Did any one ever hear
of base runner scoring from first
base on a line drive that was caught
by third baseman and when the ball
never left the third baseman's hand?
The play happened in this way: Andy
Moynihan was playing third base for
the Pastimes Of Chicago in 1868 when
a tournament was held The Occiden-
tails Of Peoria were the opposing team
In the first inning, with runner on
first, the batter drove a liner straight
over third. Moynihan showed up his
hand, the ball struck it and stuck
fast in the hand. The crowd cheered.
An instant later they saw something
was wrong. Moynihan, writing with
pain, was running around third base.
The base runner at first saw something
was the matter and ran down to sec.
ond. Then he ran to third and finally
t0tted home unmolested.
The trouble was that the ball, strik-
ing Moynihan's hand, paralyzed the
nerves. The ball was stuck tight in
his hand. 1t was five minutes before
his fellow players could pry his fin
gers open and get the ball out-Chica.
on THrih11no
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-01-05
sssing a Song of sixpence."

The old nursery rhyme of "Sing a
Song Of Sixpence" is an ancient allie
CORY and a very pretty one The earth
is represented by the bottom of the pie.
while the sky is the upper crust. The
clouds are the clothes which the maid
who is daybreak-is hanging on the
lie before the king or sun is up. The
money which the king counts in his
counting house" are the sunbeams
which slip through the suns fingers.
The blackbird, which nips off the
maids nose so unceremoniously and
thus ends the song, is the sunset or
end Of day. The moon and moonbeams
are represented by the. queen and her
honey, and thus we have the whole
day amply accounted for.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-01-05
Jail Born Books.

Bunyan's ''Pilgrim's Progress is the
most famous and Of it's class incom.
parably the best English book ever
written in prison. Bunyan was a pris-
oner in Bedford Jail from 1860 to 1872
and in addition to his immortal allie
CORY wrote "Grace Astounding and
''The Holy City, during those, twelve
years. Raleigh, who was prisoner in
the tower, 16o3-14, occupied seven
years of his captivity in writing his
History Of the World" ''The Kings
QUAR-" long and romantic love poem,
was written by James l. Of Scotland
when in prison at Windsor castle in
1923. Smollett, during his three months
detention in the Kings Bench prison
Cor libel, wrote .sThe Adventures Of
Sir Launcelot Graves" and during Z
similar experience at Newgate in 1903
Defoe wrote a collection Of Casual
ties and Disasters
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-01-05
Maps and the Health.

Prolonged "forty winks" during the
day are severely condemned by many
doctors on the ground that they affect
ones regular sleep. Scientists have
found that in the ordinary course in
the. human being there is the greatest
vitality between 10 a. m. and 2 p. m.
and the least between 2 O'clock and 6
O'clock in the morning. Long sleeps
during the day interfere with this or
der of nature and sometimes affect va
rious organs, causing headache. The
nap of forty ,winks, but only forty,
proves refreshing to many because it
Is too short to have any injurious con.
sequences III ee'sstsfon Telegraph.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-01-05
Many a Slip For the E==7===.

Raising wheat is no easy task" re-.
marked farmer. Zone year I had
500 acres Of as beautiful wheat as ever
lay out Of doors. It stood breast high,
and it seemed good for forty bushels
to the acre. That meant to me a
profit Of $1,000 I had the teams and
harvest hands engaged and expected
to begin cutting on Monday. On Fri.
day afternoon there came out Of the
northwest a greenish gray cloud. Fol
lowing heavy rain, the hail fell. In
ten minutes the wheat was flattened to
six inches from the ground. We cut a
little Of it for hay. The remainder rot
ted on the ground. The mortgage Oh
the farm was foreclosed, and I hired
out by the day to support my family,
Do you wonder that the wheat farmer
Is not boastful of his crop until he has
it in the grsnary Pc Outlook,
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-01-05
Impressive Evidence.

The constable is an observant man.
and his observation had its reward at
Marlborough street one morning It
was the case of hanson driver who
had run into four wheeler, and the
constable maintained in the witness
box that the hanson driver was drunk.
'There was a bit of dispute" said
the driver" and the constable admit
ted as much. You was a bit doubtful
about me bein' drunk, wasn't you
now?" continued the driver solemnly.
ST was, just bit" said the constable
stolidly, until saw you taking down
your own number on your coat sleeve
London Standard.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-01-05
Kidney GtieS cure Bdckdcbe
Che Ecddor 81 them Jill. Price Is Gents
Owl Drug Store, Bemidji, Mimi.
a Foxy Tenant.

At one time there lived in Worcester.
Mass, an old negro who had tire.
t1nendous influence. religious and politi.
cal, in the settlement where he lived.
He occupied a little house owned by q
prominent banker, but had successful.
" eyaded the payment Of rent for
many years. No trouble came. how
ever, until the banker was nominated
to run for political office. The next
day the old negro came hobbling into
his Office.
"Well. SAM" said the banker, II sup
pose you've come in to pay me some
rent
"Oh, no, boss" replied the old man.
'T's just come in to say rs glad yo' is
nominated and will tell de res of desc
no count niggers to vote TO- ye' and to
mention to yo' at de same time dat de
roof Of my house is a-leakin', an II
faint liked I'll have to move out d.
rectly." -Lippincott's.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-01-05
A Confusion of Names.

Although Scotia is now known to
mean Scotland, it once was the name
Of Ireland. Two centuries before the
birth of Christ Ireland was known to
the Greeks as Juvenca. Caesar called
It Hiberni:a, as did also Ptolemy in his
map Of mat island. It is said the
Phoenicians first gave Ireland the name
Of Hibernia, meaning thereby utmost
or last habitation," for beyond that
land westward the Phoenicians never
extended their voyages. Toward the
decline of the Roman empire the coun-
try began to be called Scotia, name
retained by the monastic writer's until
the eleventh century, when the name
Scotia, having passed to modern Scot
land, the ancient name of Hiberni.s be-
gan to be again used
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-01-05
LIttIe Econonfes.

once made up my mind" said q
London man, that I would become
the possessor of a good gold watch. I
saved up the money for 1t in this way:
When felt like eating a shilling
luncheon, as I often did, I kept II
down to tenpence. put the twopence
saved toward my watch fund. You.
will hardly believe me, but with little
economies like this had in less than
six months saved enough to buy my
gold watch" "But," said a listener,
where is your gold watch? You are
wearing a poor little gun metal thing
"Well," was the reply, when found
now easily l could get along without
shilling luncheons I concluded I could
get along with ten shilling watch in
stead Of a ten pound one. So that the
watch fund grew until it purchased for
me my own house, London Mail.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-01-05
Where New England Is Pre-eminent.

Where New England Is Pre-eminent.
From the standpoint Of mental eth
nology New England is as different
from the rest Of the United States as
Brittany or Provence from the rest Of
France, Piedmont from the rest Of It.
ally, Bavaria from the rest of Ger.
many. Those features the existence Of
which can be scientifically proved and
the extent Of which can be readily
measured are high birth rate Of gen,
ius, passion for reading, a high di
yorce rate, low natality, high death
rate from diseases Of the nervous sys-
tenn. The correlation between some
Of these traits is obvious. Between
others it is obscure. But we must re
member that mental ethnology Is a
science born yesterday. Today it gath
ers facts. Tomorrow it will compare
these and from them derive laws
Gustaye Michaud in Putnam's Month
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-01-05
THE CITY.
Read the Daily Pioneer.

Read the DAILY Pioneer.
Second hand coal stoves cheap
at Fleming Bros.
Fl. G. Calvert made a business
trip to Northome last evening.
Bemidji Elevator Co., jobbers
for Bariows Best, also Gold Medal,
Mascot and Creme.
A. w. Danaher went to Ten
strike last evening to look after
his business interests at that
place.
Miss Florence Grimoldby re.
turned last evening from Brain,
erd where she had been visiting
with friends for several days.
G.. b. Croker, the manager
for the Grand Forks Lum Der
company, left yesterday evening
t. visit the logging camps of his
company at Blackjack and
NorthOme.
Have you indigestion, constipa-
ton, he adache, backache, kidney
trouble? HOLSTERS Rocky
Mountain Tea will make you we'll
If it fails, get your money back.
That's fair. Tea or tablet form.
35c. Barker's Drug Store.
Richard Whittimore, nephew
of Mrs. G.. A. Walker, returned
this morning to his home at
Detroit, Mimi, where he will
next Monday resume his studies
in the high school, from which
he expects to graduate next
summer. Mr.. Whittimore spent
his holiday vacation visiting with
his relatives in Bemidji.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-01-05

John j. O'Neil. member Of the
logging firm of O'Neil and Irvine,
came down from Northome this
morning and spent the day in
the city, getting some men and
looking after other business
matters.
Otto Peterson, local represen-
tative for the Church Deal Cedar
company of DesMoines, is con-
fined to his room at the Remore
hotel with an attack of quinsy.
He expects to be out again in a
few days, however.
Misses Alice and Anna Mills,
daughters of Harry Mills, this
morning terminated their holt
day vacation in Bemidji and de-
parted from the city, Miss Alice
going to Walker, where she is
teaching school, and Miss Anna
teaving for Cutler, she being a
teacher in the Cutler schools.
j. P. Daugherty, the contract
or who is building the extension
Of the M. & l., came down this
morning from Big Falls. "Dirt
flying pretty fast, up there"
quoth j. P. "We want to get
through with that work in the
muskeg before the spring thaw.
We need many men for station
work. !"
Henry Blake and Fred Hawk
ms, members Of the logging firm
of Blake & Hawkins, were in the
city today, having come down
from Blackjack this morning.
They have a contract to cut a
large quantity of pine on Rebe-
dew lake, ten miles south Of
Blackjack, on which they are
now working and which will take
several seasons to complete.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-01-05
To Cure Snoring.

"At banquet" said an editor, q
once heard Jerome X. Jerome make a
speech on snoring. I remember that it
ended with these words: TO cure
snoring, it is advised that piece of
soap be dropped into the mouth Of the
snorer. The oil in the soap will lubri
cate the pharynx and other Latin
parts of the throat This remedy must
be applied with caution; otherwise the
snorer will arise and lubricate the
floor with the person who dropped in
the SOAP"
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-01-05
Duststorns That Bury Forests.

Travellers in Tibet describe the Won
derful storms Of dust that occur in
Kashgaria, near the foot Of the Kuen-
Lun mountains. The dust In the air is
sometimes SO dense that complete dark
ness prevails. Occasionally rain falls
during such storm, but the raindrops
evaporate during their descent, and the
dust carried with them falls in Jumps.
Entire forests Of poplar trees are buried
In dust hillocks forty feet high. These
deposits Of dust are afterward moved
on by the wind, but the trees that have
been buried die, even after their dis.
tntarnoan+
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-01-05
Duels With Pistols.

Discussing pistols as dueling weap-
ons, the Paris Figaro sought the views
Of a man who had the reputation Of an
expert on the field of honor. He at
once began to rail at duels with pistols.
He could not bear even to speak of
them. The fact was that he had once
himself at an encounter Of that kind
received ball in the shoulder.
Then you disapprove Of them simply
because you were defeated"
"Why, was not defeated"
"What!'
"No; I was second. You may well
believe that promised myself never
to mix again in affairs Of that sort.
However, one day had to accompany
a friend on the field He had asked 1t
Of me as personal favor. could not
refuse. But I insisted upon one con-
dition''
"What was that?"
"That / should climb tree during
the firing"
"a good scheme"
"You think SO? Well, was wounded
again. My friend fred in the ARP
Holiday Crowds.
For some men it is sufficient recrea-
ton to have no work. The moment
that the tknapsack Of custom" falls
from their backs they are happy. Not
to awake in the morning with the
thought Of what must be done in the
day Is in Itself a sufficient recreation.
Naturally, they have no very definite
taste in holidays. They go where It
suits their purses or their wives or
their children. To such men, though
they may spend all their working days
In the thick of a town, the sight Of ma
ture never becomes necessity. It Is
a luxury, an agreeable augmentation Of
the sense Of doing nothing. A holiday
maker Of this type very often goes to a
watering place, one Of those resorts
which it is now the fashion for cult
waited people to despise. Such con-
tempt Is affectatlon. A number Of hap
py people create, no doubt, an exhilarat-
Ing atmosphere. Well behaved pleas
ure seekers make an agreeable and
ever changing picture. A we'll kept
public garden, a good band and fine
view form attractions which no con-
tinental affects to despise, and English
people do not despise 1t either IL on.y
the brightly dressed crowd should hap
pen to talk In q foreign tongue.-Lon,
don Spectator.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-01-05
PepDer.

Black and white pepper are from the
same round seed Of a tropical plant.
The white is ground after the black
outer skin has been removed That is
the only difference. The white is con-
sidered less irritating to the stomach.
It is also preferred for dishes consist
ing Of cream and milk, such as oyster
stews, creamed potatoes and the like.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-01-05
Carlyle on Disraeli.

William Black, the novelist, In his
"reminiscences Of Carlyle, reports him
as saying: There's that man Disraeli.
They tell me he is a good speaker.
Perhaps l do not know what a good
speaker is. But read a speech of his
that he delivered in Glasgow year or
two ago, and it appeared to me the
greatest jargon Of nonsense that ever
got into any poor creatures head"
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-01-05
RubbisI, HEAPS.

In a thousand miles of Europe saw
but one rubbish heap-some old meta,
cans at Carlsruhe Everywhere else
was a complete absence Of all waste
or care.ass7less and, above all, of de
facement and roadside uncleanliness.
The foul vacant lots and dirty dumps
that abound in and about American
towns are not to be found anywhere
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-01-05
Worship a Deux.

When Dean Swift was called to the
living of Loracor he inaugurated the
custom of reading prayers on Wednes-
day and Friday. At the first Wednes-
day service he waited in vain for any
one to appear except his clerk Roger.
At length he began, dearly beloved
Roger, the Scriptures moveth you and
me in sundry places" and so proceed.
ed to the end Of the service.-Harper's
Weekly.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-01-05
Better Than Spanking.

Spanking does not cure children OF bed
iwetting. II it did there would be few child
rem that would do it. There is constitution
al cause for this. Mrs. Nj. Summers Box 426
;NOtre Dame. Ind. will send her home treat
ment to any mother. She asks no money
Write her today if your children trouble you
in this way. Don't blame the child. The
chances are they can't help it.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-01-05
UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT DISTRICT OF
MINNESOTA. SIXTH DIVISION. So.

VS.
On this LIST day of January, A. d. 1907. on
eading the foregoing petition. it is
ORDERED BY THE COURT that a hearing be
had upon the same on the 21st day of ] anu
airy. a. D. 1907. before said court at St. Paul.
in said District. at 10 o'clock in the forenoon;
and that notice thereof be published in the
Bemidji oneer. newspaper printed in said
District, and that all known creditors and
other persons in interest may appear at the
said time and place and show cause. If any
they have why the prayer Of the said petit
TONER should not be granted.
And it is further ordered by the Court that
the Clerk shall send by mail to all known
creditors copies of said petition and this
order. addressed to them at their places OF
residence as stated.
WITNESS the Honorable
Seal OF the Page Morris. Judge of the
I Court. said Court. and the seal
thereof. at Fergus Falls. in
~ said District on the list day
of ] January. A. d. 1907
CHARLES L. SPENCER.
Clerk.
LA. LEvoRsEN.
Deputy Clerk.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-01-05
For Sale.

Twelve head of horses weigh.
ing from HOO to 1850 each.
Tom Smart.