The Ketchikan miner., 1907-06-15
CURIOS

Gordie of his friend. "I don't re- member; was it good one?' "Yes, a mighty good one." ''Then you never told it to me-
 1T suppose you will soon find some- body to fill my shoes," said New town woman who hadn't been feeling very peart for some time. 1T doubt it very much," said the fond husband, with look at her feet so significant that she arose and kicked the chair out from under him.
 Won't you try some of this salad?" said young lady to young limb of the law at the last reception he attended at which refreshments were served. 'Thanks, awfully, Miss Clara, but just see what a lot have on my plate already" "Yes, that S all right, but just think what place you have to put it imp
 Said a fond, but despairng lover to his inamorata the other evening, "I suppose it would please you to see me blow my brains out right here." sNo, George, I can't say it would exactly please me, but it certainly would surprise me, very much in- deed.o
 My wife and I never quarrel, Pm sorry to say," said Ketchikan man to Curio, a day or two ago. Sorry .' ''That's what said. Con- found her she just won't quarrel; she just puts on an air of dignifed su- periority and won't say word back .''
 England boasts her roasted beef,
 And eke her plum pudding; France brags about her table d hote
 To set before king;
 The people praise the saurekraut
 That blooms in Germani, But none of these are half so good
 As creamy pumpkin pie. witzerland has switzer kase,
 And Italy, macaroni;
 And other savage nations feed
 On sausages bologni; Scotland likes it's oaten meal,
 When coming through the rye; But none of these are half so good
 As jucy pumpkin pie.
 -''Now children" said the teacher, Eff family consisting of a father a and mother and seven children should have a pie for dinner, how much would each person ..have?" ."Why," answered the proverbial brightest boy of the school, leach one would get an eighth" But there are nine persons, you must remember.o 70 yes, I know, but the mother wouldn't get any, cause there wouldn't be enough to go round .''
 A Juneau dentist who avdertises teeth extracted without pain' re- fused to pull tooth for a Persever- ance miner last week, because he gently hinted that if he was hurt in the operation, he'd slambang half a dozen bullets into the dentist. The dentist explained that without pain" meant that a man might live through it-but he didn't do any monkey work with that miners ach- ing molar.
 An Oswego, N. Y., professor has spent eleven years investigating the question whether or not fish sleep at night, and has finally come to the conclusion that they do, though very lightly-a sort of cat (fish) nap, so to speak. Curio never went fishing that he didn't return convinced that fish certainly do sleep in the day time.
 A pious parson good and true
 Was crossing o'er the seas, When suddenly there fiercely blew
 A wild and sweeping breeze He feared the storm the. ship would
 wreck:
 His heart was sore afraid llC oouS oHO dpuulAl Oii UiiV oCSh,
 And found him undismayed. The captain saw his awful fear
 And led him up to where The servant of the Lord could hear
 The sailors loudly swear. "You clearly see," the captain said,
 If danger lowered nigh They'd all be on their knees instead
 And asking grace to die.' The parson felt his words were true,
 And when the skies grew fair He marveled how the sailors knew
 Just when to pray or swear. But when the seas which wildly flowed
 Had ceased to plunge and spout, Unto himself he said Ut showed
 They know what they're about. But later on another storm
 Came fiercer-- than before. The parson heard with wild alarm
 The oceans angry roar. He sought the deck in awful dread
 To near the sailors get. He listened-then he bowed his head "Thank God, they're swearing yet"