Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-09-21
FUCKERS WOMENFOLK.

"You never know what a mother-in-
law can be to a man until you're mar
ried," said Tucker.
.And then OF course, it is too late to
do anything" / ventured.
please don'tr' he exclaimed, "OneI
reads that kind of joke in all the comic
papers,
"But which are the comic papers?" /
| inquired 'And how do you know you
read them ALL?
Il wouldn't be seen dead with one of
the vulgar thngsr' he cried scornfully.
And if you were, you wouldn't have
died of laughing"
They're too awful for words" he
said
(which is probably why they are
mostly pictures l observed.
| mo, but really" he went on, Mrs.
Capers is a treasure, | don't know what
we should do without her. She's always
found at our place now
| HIM! How does her husband do
without herg'
HE grumbles-naturaly."
| YES. / suppose it has become nat
ural to him TO grumble. He has had a
mother-in-law. too"
Tucker smiled. You always will have
your little joke" he said Worst of it
is other people have to have it as well.
But you'll keep your promise to dine
with us tonight, won't your
Twill Mrs. Capers be thereg'
Il hope So"
/ why? Don't you want me to conner
'Shouldn't have asked you if didn't.
Put it another way, Tucker. You
wouldn't have asked your mother-in-law
if you did"
You'll Gomez he said. "Half-past
seven. Ordinary dress"
And | went in ordinary dress. But
Mrs. Capers didn't, For you can't call
dress like fowerbed and a hat like
a fruit salad ordinary.
Very pleased to meet you" she said,
shaking hands with me in way sug-
; prize fight. "But | don't feel that we
! are strangers at all. No.. BERTHE has
told me so much about you"
/ was startled. Nv hat has he told
you?" | demanded. shooting a reproach-
full glance at Tucker.
} But | don't believe it," she said.
: soothingly. "You don't look that kind
of a young man at ALL" From which l
augured the worst.
, / congratulated Mrs Tucker on her
SOUP
e "Oh. mamma is responsible for that"
her soups"
7 The fsh-cakes were hardly success
What do you think of themg Tucker
G whispered il my ear.
$ 'I-well, / prefer just to think OF
Them" / replied, discreetly.
You mustn't give me all the credit
Z for the fish-cakes, though" said Mrs
Capers, speaking across the table. dolly
herself helped me to make them sue
cess"
And / wondered which of them had
I hindered the other.
Y There was Chicken salad ''Xou will
: like this" said Tucker. Mrs. .Capers i.
a famous for her chicken Salads"
But Tucker is too much of an optimist
u sometimes | did not like that dish ii
) all.
t II must congratulate you again." ]
: said to young Mrs. Tucker.
"Ha. hars laughed Tucker why
didn't | tell you that this was Mrs
!, Capers' chicken salad
: And | did not explain that that wal
a precisely why l had congratulated hi
r wife.
!. After the woman had retired, Tucke
: proposed the health of his mother-in
: law. / drank it, rather to the detri
7 ment OF my own health, for the whisk,
}. was vile
That's a new kind of whisky" sal,
Il Tucker.
II thought it did not taste very old,
remarked.
Don't you like itT'
k ut seems very strong for its age"
IS said. where did you get itT'
r Its brand that Mrs. Capers recon
q mended." he said. "Mr. Capers-he
:, observation-disclosures all about whisky Use,
: to be agent for big firm of Scotcl
e. distillers."
II And when accepted fuckers offe
lie of cigar | discovered that Mr.. Caper
il used also to represent a firm of wha
| rrn1l~ar 1l.,uhf h,tn ar
q ously-as ''tobacconists. But it Nigh
- have been worse. | am referring {
u the general entertainment, not, o
n@ course, to the cigar,
ut That was six months ago. me
4, Tucker again yesterday, and he chi
10 me gently for not having been to sc
! him lately. | asked him how he like
y married life.
r I'VE are as happy as the day is long.
ST he said, with sigh.
n The days seem long, then?" / que
r. ried, raising my eyebrows.
Every night when l go home
Does that mean you don't always &
homer"
srhere is my wife waiting for me.
he went on.
it. But isn't ii very wrong to keep he
m waitingg" l murmured. And Mr.,
Ks Capers? Docs she still help your haI
us piness along all she cam
70 "Ahr' he said. Talk about guart
ian angelr'
I'D "On the contrary. am talking abou
'e your mother-in-law.'
as Same thing" he said. And then h
g sighed again. Its pity. though. I'll
IL wife doesn't get ON with her better.
= don't mean that they quarrel exactl,
~ Not with one another, that is Mo-
ny who do they quarrel with. then?'
r.. They don't quarrel at an he sal,
n But they--they, reason--reason--wi
mn me. You see. they are both so anxiou
er- that l should be perfectly happy"
| stared But" ! exclaimed.
,r- And they have different ideas
AT what constitutes a mans happiness Fl
he instance Mrs. CapeFs thinks a ma
ne can't have TOO much OF thing he like
nd whether il is good for him or not An
my wife thinks that too many cigar