davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Red Cloud chief., 1907-08-30

WiH factoring The cjJc's, willie tie ar p
iHdi diScdSo undcrmincs the system.
what To DO.
There is comfort in the knowledge 80
often expressed, that Dr.. kiimcrs
Swamp-Root, the great kidney remedy,
fulGlls every wish IN curing rheumatism,
pain i'll the back, kidneys, liver, bladder
and every part of the urinary passage.
II Corrccts inability to hold water
and scaldiug pain III passing il, or bad
effects following use of liquor, wine Or
beer, and ovcrcomcs that unpleasant ne.
ccssity of being compelled TO go often
during the day, and to get up many
times during the night. The mild and
the extraordinary effect of Swamp-Root
is soou realized. 1t stands the highest
for its wonderful cures of the mos dt'.
trcssing cases. If YOU need a medicine
YOU should have the best. Sold by drug.
gists i'll ffty-cent and onc-dollar sizes.
You may have a sample bottle and a
book that tells all ESN
about it, bothseutf free GsIUIrYs1Nf A..+s-h
by mail. Address DR.. r. kEEyii!aM s.!!:S%sss
Kiliner & Co., Bing- SM4W
hamton, n. y. When Home Of swamp-Root.
writing mention this paper and don't
make any mistake, but remember the
name, DIR. Kilmer's Swamp-Root, and
the address, B~inghamton, n. y.
The Red Cloud chief., 1907-08-30

book that tells all
about it, both sent free
by mail. Address Or.
Kiliner & Co., Bing-
%lianton, n. Y. When
The Red Cloud chief., 1907-08-30
! NeWhOuSe Brothers.
: jewelers. and Optometrists. Burlington Watch Inspector


nounced having filed a motion for dis
missal of the suit. He said that there
were many reasons for this action,
but :he principal II was the unprof.
itableness of any immediate result Of
a decision in our favor upon the exact
issue as now framed. compared with
the burdens and disadvantages to be
endured by us, both before and after
such a decision"
The Red Cloud chief., 1907-08-30

rih doct0ri1g The Cjtc's, while Tic ar !
iRdi disease undermincs the system.
The Red Cloud chief., 1907-08-30
Church Howe to England.

Auburn, Neb.. Aug. 26.-Hon Church
Howe of this city. who Is now serving
as consul general to Montreal. Can.
ada, received word from Washington
that he had been promoted to the po-
siticn of consul general to Manches.
ter. England.
The Red Cloud chief., 1907-08-30
Empress Suffers From Fall.

Wllhelmshohe, Germany. Aug. 23.-
Empress Augusta Victoria. while play.
ing tennis in the park here, slipped
and fell. injuring a vein in her left
leg and making 1t necessary for her to
remain in bed for some weeks.
The Red Cloud chief., 1907-08-30

oi luncyulseisS
While dis.
are the
most common
diseases that pre-.
vail, they are
almost the last
recognized by
patient and ply.
]siCians, 3cho ram
tent thcmSeircs
The Red Cloud chief., 1907-08-30
Chaplain Turned Out of Navy.

Oyster Bay. Aug. 24.-President
Roosevelt approved the sentence OF
dismissal from the navy OF Naval
Chaplain Jones.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-12
Tho Grateful Parent.

A New York man enjoys repeating a
story he claims to have had from one
of the life guards at Atlantic City.
1t appears that not long ago Phila.
delphia man and his nine-year-old son
were at the end Of one of the piers
gazing over the rail at the ocean when
suddenly the lad, leaning over too far,
tumbled into the water. The life
guards were just then at quite dis
tance from the scene of the accident,
so another man ON the pier, without
waiting to divest himself OF either coat
or shoes, plunged into the sea and after
buffeting with the waves for some
time succeeded in getting the half
drowned boy to the beach, whittier I'm
the meantime the father had FASTENED
from the pier. ''-
The parent took the affair very cool
ly. AS the self appointed rescuer set
the dripping boy at his fathers feet
the latter inquired:
"Thank you. But what have you
done with his hat?'-Harper's Weekly
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-12
Givina Him a Chance.

Mrs. Wilson's husband was often
obliged to go to New York on business
and frequently did not reach his home
until the arrival of the midnight train.
Mrs. Wilson had been in the haldt OF
sleeping peacefully at these times
without fear, but n number Of bur-
glaries in the neighborhoOd, during one
of her husbands trips to New York
had disturbed her calm.
On the night of his return Mr.. VIII.
son was stealing carefully up the
front stairs, as was his wont on such
occasions. so that his wife would not
be wakened. when lie heard her voice.
high and strained.
II don't know whether yOr are my
husband or burglar" came the ex-
cited tones, "but am going to be on
the safe side and shoot, so IL you are
Henry you'd better get out OF the
way!-Youth's Companion.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-12
a0NSER TRIES AGAIN
opes IN Search Of Paradise For
\ Sa Two Weeks Vacation.


Usautiful Lake Turns Out to Be q
Swamp, and There Are Other De-
ficieneiss--old Fellow 10 Fined S15
For contsmpt Of Court.
! copyright. 1907, by Homer sprague.l
"Can you pack what things you will
need for two weeks vacation by 8
o'clock tomorrow morning. asked Mr..
Bowscr as he arrived home from the
Office the other 0venlng.
{. why, thought you had given up
looking for a place." replied Mrs. Bow.
ser.
Il had, but I happened to run across
this ad. In the paper today, and like
tl,e wording Of 1t SO well that I'm 60
ing to take chances Read 1t and as
soon as dinner Is over set about pack.
ing your trunk"
Mrs. Bowser-took the paper and read;
! "A Farmhouse situated on the shores
of Lake Paul, twenty miles from the
city, will take a few select boarders
for the last two or three weeks IN Au.
gust. Table unexcelled. No children
or dogs. No Chinese, taken. Boating
bathing and fishing. Family prayers
night and morning. A quiet, restful
place from the turmoil of the world"
ut seems to he the place we have
been looking for she said, "and yet
ut surely is the place." he finished
"Thc man who holds family prayers in
his house night and morning can't be
q liar or swindler. Right on the
shores of lake, and we can swing IN
our hammock under the trees and hcal
the water lap and gurgle. No burned
squint eyed Chinese around, no chill
dren whooping and yelling, no dogs to
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-12
s'H'T
We FELT CHEAP.
Why the Drummer Changed HE Mind
About the Shawl.

About the Shawl.
A buyer foc a large southern cotton
house invariably paid but half for his
goods and gave his note for the other
half. This note he rarely met. As
the buyer was sterling fellow in ev-
cry other respect. his friends all agreed
simply to charge him double and then
of course destroy tho worthless note.
One day, after effecting 81, 500 pur-
chase, for which, as usual, he was
charged $4,000, he gave, after the Gus
tomary grumbling over the high prices
asked, $1,000 In cash and his note for
another 81 800. ..
"Now," said he, where's my little
present coming in?'
The merchant thought for moment,
then took down box from shelf
and unwrapped beautiful shawl.
Perhaps your wife might fancy this"
said he.
"That shawl, sir! And on a $4,000
order, sir! Your generosity Is incom.
prehensible, sir"
Over the face Of the merchant there
bcamed radiantly bcneficent smile.
"You are right, sir. I'll give you
something more like" Taking out his
wallet, he smoothcd out the $1,000
note he had just received. Here, I
can't do better than this, sir" tender
ing the note.
Surprise, embarrassment, sheepish-
ness on the part Of the other and then
softly, "I'll take the shawl."-Harper's
Weekly. 1tta
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-12
Pat Wa, oeino Some.

An Engllshman en- lrlshman and Il
Scotchman were one day arguing as to
which Of the three countries possessed
the fastest trains
"Well," said the Englishman, "Fve
been in one Of our trains, and the 'tele-
graph poles have been like a hedge
''I've seen the mIlestones appear like
tombstones," said the Scot.
'Be jabers," said Pat, II was one
day In trnIn In my country, and we
passed a field Of turnIps and a field of
carrots. also n field OF cabbage and
parsley, then n pond Of water, and we
were going that quick thought it was
broth."-Judge's Library.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-12
Two Men.

] know man who's blessed with wealth,
Has everything he wants but health.
Yet he's bad hammered. has a knack
or saying things behind ones back;
is slangy, coarse. Incorporate, swears,
Help, tradespeople. he never spares!
with almost every vicious trait
He's looked upon as being great"
i know another man who waits
On this great man, but, please the fates,
He's not like him--is quite polite;
To speak coloauially, is white"
Was never known sor ever hoard
TO utter a blaspheming word;
He's not a gentleman-oh no!
His training that far didn't go:
Aud yet think hatween thtss two
much prefer the last, don't YOU?
LA Touchs Hancock In New York Press,
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-12
A Mean Employer.

"NIr. Sparklcs, l am going to raise
your salary ...a
"Oh, Mr.. Scllserlot, don't know
how can express my gratitude! | as
sure you am too full for utterance. l
can only
"Just as soon as you convince me by
your attention 10 business that you de-
serve it."-Chlcago Record Herald.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-12
A Danger.

"Do you favor a universal languaseT'
asked one philologist.
NO" answered the other; "there arc
so many universal languages that even
II the idea were put into practice pco-
Pile couldn't understand one another"
Washington Star.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-12

letting his eyes roam over this marsh
when the man said;
'That Is Lake Paul, sir. In the
spring the grass IL entirely covered
With water, and then there Is beautiful
boating and fishing" N
But this Is not spring.
"No, SIR"
"Then there is no Lake Paul, no boat
ing, no fishing, no bathing?"
mot to speak OF, no. sir, but we hope
that our guests will be willing to dis
pehse with those frivolities."
Smoking Under Tres.
There were two men and one woman
sitting under the apple tree. The men
were smoking clay pipes and the wo-
man gnawlng away at a windfall.
Are those some Of your select board
ers?" asked Mr.. Bowser after looking
them over. ~
"They are, sir and they say they
never enjoyed themselves better. They
drank gallon of buttermilk between
them this morning I forgot to put
that in the advertisement--tha but
tcrmilk was free to guests. Excuse
me, sir, but you're making 80 many
inquiries 1t leads me to ask IL you are
a very particular person? If you are
not, perhaps your wife is"
I'VE are not liars and swindlersw
replied Mr. Bowser, who had begun to
get mad as soon as seeing the house.
by which you would convey the
Impression
THAT the owner Of shacklety old
ranch like this who advertises as you
do ought to get three months in Jail ut
the very least! It's a swindle, sir.
It's an outrage.' VI
"Sir," replied the other as he drew
himself up with much dignity, II took
notice of you, while you were yet half
mile away.sI I did not like your gait.
did not like your shape. As you
came still nearer I saw your face to
mistrust 1t. You will excuse me, sir,
when say that could not take you
In here rs select boarder. Indeed,
could not take you in at ALL"
And you hold family prayers night
and morning." shouted Mr.. Bowser in
his wrath.
Stopped by a Constable.
The solemn looking man whistled
for his big dog and the three boarders
rose up and came over. Mr.. Bowser
was told to go. He looked at the
crowd and at the dog and went. On
his way back to the depot he was boil.
ing over with indignation and uncon-
sciously heightened his stride. He had
not yet reached the building when a
constable stepped out from fence
corner with watch in his hand and
said
II make 1t thirty-fve miles an hour,
and you will come with mev'
"What in thunder is this all aboutT
demanded Mr.. Bowser.
Running your auto beyond the legal
speed limit"
"But have no auto"
"Same thing. You were humping
along at thirty Ave miles an hour, mad
as a wet hen, and any collision with
you would have been dangerous to life
anJ limb. Come along"
Mr.. Bowser had to walk mile with
him to the house Of justice Of the
peace. The justice was not prepared
to agree with the constable that q
baldheaded man with duck legs was
the same thing as an auto, and the
victim might have escaped fine had
he kept quiet. He couldn't do that
btlt turned tO{ md called the constable
a fool and his honor an ass and was
fined $15 for contempt Of court and
given one hour to get out of the coun
ty. NJ. QUAD.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-12
Wanted II Riqht Away.

"Uncle Jabez, will you have coffee
with your dinner, or do you prefer
"Well, If it's all the same to you,
Nancy, I'll take cupful right now
with my supper. I'm sich n hand fer
it that it don't seem as though could
wait till tomorrow noon" - Chicago
Rccord-Herald
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-12
No lonoer Friends.

Citiman-How's your friend Back.
'lotz?
subbubs = Pardon me, but you've
made q mistake.
Citiman-Dont be silly. Why, you
were telling me only last week how
you coaxed a servant, girl away from
him.
Subbubs-Yes. but he's got her hack
again now.-Philadelph Press.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-12
Proof.

First Race Horse Din PADDOCK - 1
hear that your new owner is plunger
and wins oftener than he loses?
Second Race Horse-I guess that's
right. hear the boOkmakers are try
ing their best to have him ruled of
Puck.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-12
Time Saved.

"Does your husband spend as much
time as formerly at the race trackF'
"Not nearly as much" answered
young Mrs. Torkins. "He has new
System and nearly always goes broke
on the first or second race."-Washing-
ton Star.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-12
What Dropped.

81 heard you let something drop In
the kitchen just now, Katie. Did you
break anything asked the lady Of the
house when dinner was being served.
"Only one leg of the chicken,
ma'amw replied the girl innocently.-
Yonkers Statesman.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-12
Tho Dead One,

81 had friend" said the long SUI.
ferlng man finally, "who used TO talk
and talk and talk
81 see what you mean," Interrupted
the bore; "I'm just like him, eh?'
"Not exactly. He's dead."-Houst0n
Post
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-12
Aoeountsd For.

Walter, these eggs are stone cold"
complained the Indignant diner.
f"Yes. sah," replied the drsky waiter.
l"We always has to keep de eggs ON dc
Ice before we cooks 'em, sah ~ fon-
kerb Statesman.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-12
OF at Stations.

"Yes, he works off and on" ~.
"Why, heard he had good steady
job"
$50 he has, but he's a railroad con.
ductor."-T0wn Topics.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-12

Beware Of Well take our bathing
suits and just revel In the blue waters,
and when we are not revellng well be
hauling In the five pound bass. Come
along to dinner"
Hadn't a Thing Ready.
II couldn't get ready by morning"
said Mrs. Bowser as they sat down to
the table. "As we had given up going
/. anywhere this summer haven't q
thing ready. Anyhow think 1t bet,
ter plan for you to take Il run out
there first and engage the rooms. lf
it's only twenty miles you can go out
and back In day. The place Is prob
ably all they claim for II, but I'd feel
better II you saw 1t first"
II can go out, Of course, but It's o
needless trip. l think from the reading
of the ad. that the owner Is church
deacon. He might beat some one In n
horse trade, but lie wouldn't dcliber-
ately lie to get few boarders. You
notice that he says select He wants
none Of the riffraff around him. That's
what want for the next few days, n
, place where I can sit down and think
some thoughts Yes, I'll take day or
and go out there, and you can be pack
ing while I'm gone"
But you'll be prepared for disap-
polntment at the same timer she sug.
gested.
II don't see why l should. That's
what we want, straighter than string.
hAt 1,ft ont I'm lv xyoV oVsSt
night and morning might have been
bit suspicious. but as 1t Is Id lie
willing to telephone him tonight to
have us a room. The man who Is beat
Ing his guests don't begin and end the
day with prayers. BY John, Mrs. Bow
ser, but luck is with us! Wen gain ten
pounds apiece In the two weeks"
! During the evening Mr.. Bowser
could not keep the subject out Of his
talk for over ten minutes at a time,
and when he at last went to bed and
fell asleep Mrs. Bowser heard him
muttcring about prayers and lakes
and bass and shady places. He was
breakfast, and 1t was not yet 10
o'clock In the forenoon when he was
dropped at a little country station.
There was no Que around the place.
but a sign directed him, and after
pIoddlhg along the highway for three.
quarters Of a mile he came to a farm
house with sign on the gate to the
effect that boarders We're taken. A
very solemn looking man came down
; the path to meet him, and when they
had shaken hands Mr.. Bowser lueried:
II believe you advertise to take a
few select summer boarlers for the
next two or three .weeksy"
''You are correct" was the answer.
Where are you going to put themY
sIn the house, sir"
1t was q lonesome looking old house.
Panes of glass had been broken out,
the roof needed repairs, and only one
forl0rn apple tree stood within a hun
dfed feet OF the door for shade. Down
behind It was great, marsh, With
grass SIX feet high. Mr. Bowser was
1 u
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-12

Jim Hellso, owner of the Hellso Op-
era House (Which Is us), is now book
ing theatrical attractions for the fall
and winter season. Nothing booked
unless 1t contains at least one clog
dance and the rescue of the heroine
from burning building or gang of
outlaws. Enthusiastic audiences, but
they want what they want.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-12
consistsnt.

what kind OF people lire ON the
prairie" asked the teacher.
II know" cried Freddy. "plaiu
Bohemian.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-12
A cruIler Cameo.

y NTUIIeT OdUI0U.
The cruller delicious
And luscious slips down
And makes me imagine
I'm wearing a crown.
And yet, while Pm happy
As any live thing.
] hold up tho mirror
To truth as ! sing:
OF you. gentle cruller.
The hole Is the best,
Because 'tls the only #
Fart laAn can diGAet.
!. X. Nunkittrtok in New York
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-12
IAN UNDERsIzED, RED HEADED CUSs WITH
INGRowING TOE NAILS"

IAN UNDERsIzED RED HEADED CUSs WITH
1NGRowING TOE NAILS
toward all mankind. called us up on
the telephone and called us forty diff
ferent kinds of liars. or course we
ordered our cayuse around, but while
we were riding fourteen miles he
moved into the mountains, distance
of twenty-eight miles, and SO our quest
was fruitless.
A subscriber in Illinois writes lis TO
ask why we don't come right out and
announce our presidential candidate
for the next election. Good Lord, man,
but can't you appreciate modesty In
an editor? We are going to he our
own candidate, but we don't want to
begin blowing our horn and pranclng
around until it becomes necessary. Let
the other fellers enjoy the limellght
bit first.
There was no row between Mr.. Tom
linson, the stage agent, and the editor
Of the Kicker the other day, as an
nounced in Chicago dispatch Mr..
Tomlinson decided not to renew our
annual pass over the stage line, but
after some slight argument on our part
lie changed his mind. The argument
may have been accompanied by the
sight of a gun, but It was new gun,
and we were asking his opinion OF 1t
as straight shooter Mr. Tomllnson
is n gentleman, and it is always a
pleasure to do business with him.
Giveadam Gulch's social Four Hun
dred are not striving after prestige
during the dog days. A kimono, Il gin
fizz and n palm leaf fan are about the
extent OF any ones ambition just now,
and bridge whist and straight poker
seem far, far away.
Another anonymous postal card In
the mail yesterday from some crittcr
with grievance, who announces that
he will arrive next week and shoot us
into a world where each and every
inhabitant flaps his wings when he
wants to go anywhere. These things
never bother us any. The chap goes to
the hospital, has chunk of lead dug
out OF his anatomy and before leaving
town comes around to shake hands
and ask us how we did it.
Two weeks ago the editor Of the
Grass Valley Tribune went up into the
mountains on summer hunt, being
one of party of four. The other
three have returned to town and given
out that the editor has probably been
devoured by cinnamon bear. If such
is the case his family has our deepest
sympathy; also the relatives OF the
bear. t.
We understand that another petition
went to Washington the other day
praying for our removal from the Of
fee of postmaster because we take II
hand at poker occasionally. That petit
tion will be read by the postmaster
general with grin and will then be
handed along to the president to be
read with a bigger grin. When this
government gets ready to bounce an
otiiceholder for raking IN a pot with
an ace full then the bulwarks OF Amer.
lean liberty will topple over with n
crash TO be heard around the world.
There Is no sort Of doubt that 800
overworked factory girls Of New Eng
land could come to Arizona and find
husbands within week, but just how
long 1t would be thereafter before the
whole crowd would wish themselves
back In the factories working on a ~
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-12

Since the Kicker let up on the quack
doctors six months ago there have
been three new arrivals. AS soon as
the weather cools off little we shall
get after them, and every man who
can't tell the difference between bro
ken leg and case Of consumption will
have to toddle. NJ. QUAD.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-12

toward all mankind, called us up on
the telephone and called us forty diff
ferent kinds of liars. or course we
ordered our cayuse around, but while
we were riding fourteen miles he
moved into the mountains, a distance
of twenty-elght miles, and so our quest
was fruitless.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-12

William Myers and Homer Dayton
both of Blue Hill, both claimed the
same horse the other day, and both
went TO shooting to sustain their
claims. Between them they managed
TO kill the horse aud then made up and
shook hands over 1t. Such things are
happening every day, and yet there are
pen asking why Arizona Is not getting
a rush of population from the east
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-12

Mr. Piggin "a trihe mixed, TO hall
porter)-No, no (hic); said hanson
hic), not four wheeler.-Once q
Week.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-12

In riding over TO Wolf Creek the
other day we got in front of a herd of
a thousand stampeding steers. and for
the next ten minutes every mean act
that we ever did rose up before us
biggern house as we leaned forward
IN the saddle and dug in the spurs.
We finally got clear Of the front of the
herd and got our dignity back, and we
are glad to say that the mean things
that rose up in the moment of peril
didn't amount to much. They were
mostly lying about our tremendous cir.
culation In Persia.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-12
SOME KICKER ITEMS,
Always Something Doing In the
Land Of Giyeadam GuIch.
RIVAL EDITOR SklPs TOWN.

Called an Undersized, Red Headed
Cuss With ingrowing Toe Nails by
Jim heilso, Who Seeks Vengeance
For Call Down.
When ex-Judge Livermorc says that
the editor of the Kicker seeks to be
the dictator Of this territory the judge
lies and knows he lies. He also knows
our office hours.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-12

During the dinner hour at the Royal
hotel the other day mine host Will
liams had to stop and shoot a man
named Scott i'm the shoulder for find
Ing fault with the holes I'm the table,
cloths and napkins. The guest was
from San Francisco, and after being
temporarily fixed up lie departed
Such things put a landlord out and ell
title him to the sympathy Of all. If
any fault is to be found 1t should be
after the meal and then in gentle
manly way.