davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

will be tolerated" The hapless conductor
who now is INDUCING his taste for whis-
kers IN any Of their multifarious forms
must divest himself thereof by the first
OF May or lose his job,
Were We not determined TO maintain an
attitude OF absolute impartianty on the
Issue as to whiskers until further argu-
ment is presented, we would advise the
Burlington conductors 10 resist enforce
ment OF the order to the limit OF the
law. There are whiskerless lawyers IN
plenty who would take a test case for a
proper fee, and carry it through the slow
gradauons OF the courts to the highest
tribunal in the land. the Supreme Court
Of the United States. Nine good and
learned men comprise that body. The
overwhelming majority of them wear
whiskers in one form or another only
NJ. Justice Harlan and Mr.. Justice
Brewer are whiskerless totally, though
Mr.. Justice White wears only diminutiye
"chaunceydepews. The case of The Peo-
pie vs. Whiskers would. We are con
WINGED, be justly dealt with by the Su-
preme Court. the palladium of our hb-
erty. In the hands of a whiskerless law
yer the case for whiskers could be more
forcibly presented TO the Supreme Court
than by a bewhiskered lawyer, because
the argument would be dispassionate, i'm
personal. and based entirely upon pure
reason and the eternal principles OF right
and justice. More than once the Supreme
Court has saved this country from the
dangerous tyranny Of the plutocTats and
the wild clamor Of the mob. We are will
ing to submit the issue as to whiskers t.
that great tribunal, and the sooner 1t is
called upon to adjudlcate this exciting
question the better il will be for the
peace and happiness OF the nation.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

To comply with the Nobel Prize rules
President Roosevelt is to deliver d lecture
in Norway. There's a gjood place TO
advocate sjimplifed spelling
An English woman writer says that she
never had the pleasure Of meeting an
American lady or gentleman. Which
proves that American ladies and gentle
men are sometimes particular whom they
meet.
After forty-siX years OF honors bic ser
vice, Maj.-Gen. Wade retires, still of the
opinion that the army canteen is a good
thing. But think how many women there
are in the country who know more about
Ii than he does.
The Detroit man who put his wife
across his knee and spanked her, prob
ably omitted TO add that It hurt him
as much as 1t hurt her.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27
Remaking the supreme Court,

From the Pittshurg Sun.
If you don't like the present United
states Supreme Court, all you have % do
IS to elect a few Presidents who will APP
point and Senates which VIII confirm the
sort you want Then if you live long
enough. say twenty or thirty years. AID
have the people Of two-thirds of the
states with yCu. there is no reason.
barring trust opposition working in ma
tional politics, 20 stand between you and
your desires. Thus. though very indi-
rectly. you see. the Supreme Court Is. or
may be made, representative.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27
TEARS or THE cosiMuTER.

Now comes the blithesome time Of year
When spring aWakes the meads,
And IN ouT mail we all receive
The. catalogue OF seeds.
It opens TO OlT dazzled eyes
In beautys pride and finsh,
The gl0ry Of its pictured hues
The rainbow puts 20 blush.
We plan that garden fer cur own
Aud think We are ia luck
When hsTk. upou ta3 air Is borne
\ barnyard faint cluck ciuck
And then our spirits quickly sink
And surrow nils our cup;
We know the hen has laid an egg
To eat those flowers up
~AlcLandburgh Wilson. IN New YORK sun
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27
An Art Collection

It's only a crayon portrait,
That hangs on The parl0r wall;
It's only "a CrayOn picture.
or one whom We can't recall
IT S only "a likeness of grandma,
But with fl III never part;
value il more than the rarest
Ana C0stliest treasures of art
What's that. I'm assessed for ten thou.
sand.
on pictures that hang on my wall2
It's an outrage, an infamous outrage,
A five spot would pay fer them all
It's only a'picture Of grandma,
hanging over the cid fireplace;
K IS simply crayou outline,
OF grandma kindly face.
But 1 value IL more than money,
And more than the gems Of the earth
For the rarest OF old MurillOs
Has uaughJ OF this pictures worth
They've assessed me ii cool ten thousand
For pictures AZ home that hang?
Why, a five-douar bin. I tell YOU
Would pay for the whole shebang.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27
southerners at the North.

In connection with the discussion Of the
ACCESSIBILITY Of the Democrats nominating
one Of their number az the South as their
standard bearer next year IL is inter-
/ esung 10 recall some of the more con-
spicuous examples of the successful po-
HtIcdl careers Of SguIherneTs at the
North. For Instance. Kansas sent 10
both branches of Congress a Confederate
colonel and a Nirgiuian boy birth ID the
person Of William A. Harris. L. r. O. Gar
vim, native OF North Carolina was
elected by the Democrats governor Of
Rhode Island Francis G. Newlands. a
son of Mississippi. Is now "a Senator
from Nevada. the first Democrat ever
sent 10 the Senate by that State. Gen.
Roger A Prior, Of the Confederate army,
has had a distinguished career Ia the
public affairs of New YORK The late
john X. Fellows. born in Arkansas
served a New York constituency long in
/ Congress. and was also prosecuting attor-
ney OF New York County. BertTam T
Clayton. a native of Alabama. represented
a Brooklyn Democratic district In Con
gress- The late Rufus r. Polk. born and
reared IN Tennessee. died as a Democratic
member of Congress from Pennsylvania.
John II. O'Neill. a South Caroiinian by
Z soar tit anu maturity once III presented
Indiana district i'm the House John G..
Bell. born in Tennessee, was sent 20
Congress from Colorado. Col. ] Ham
Lewis, born in Virginia. and reared in
Georgia. served the State of Washington
with distinction Ia Congress and was un-
I'll recently corporation counsel of Chi
cage Senator Piles, now a Senator from
the state of Washington, and "a Repubii-
can, Is kentucki2u Tom Johnson,
Cleveland's famous mayor. IS q Kentuck-
Ian 10 the bone, and, though a free trade
Democrat. represented in the House his
adopted city. one of the most highly vital
lied centers of protection in the country.
judge Page NJ Morris. appointed TO the
Federal bench by President Roosevelt. Is
a Nirgini3n. and was sent to Congress
several times as Republican from Aim
nesota. Gen. John G. Black. Henry +.
Greene, and John A. McIlhenny, who at
/ present compose the Civil Service Com
mission, are S0utherners by birth, two of
whom are still Democrats, the first and
the last named.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27
Describing senator bourne.

From the New York Sun.
We violate neither the truth nor any
confidence when we state that Senator
Bourne was but the other day elected by
the Legislature of Oregon, and is as new as
paint laid on with a wet brush. He is
known TO topical fame as the host al
whose board the $500. 300 conspiracy was
dropped into the receptive ear Of Score
tary Leo, of all men. by humorous
Senator in the hiccOugh stage.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27
BREAKFAST TABLE CHAT.

From the Detroit Free Press.
joy.
l never knew the JOY Of getting home,
never knew how fast a heart could
beat.
I never tasted Joy.
Till the day my little boy
Came running up 10 meet me on the
street.
I never knew the pleasure Of smile,
never knew the music Of a voice
Till I heard my baby greet me,
On this day h. ran 20 meet me,
in a way that made nay weary heart
rejoice.
1 never knew a welcome half so true.
Til I heard his hello daddy" down
the street.
And though weary as could be,
When he scampered up 10 me,
There was comfort in the paIter OF his
feet
I never knew the charm of laughing eyes,
never knew how happy 1 could be:
I never knew the cheer.
That makes worry disappear
Till the day my baby first ran up TO
me.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27
The il. Grnres PInn-

From the Kansas City Journal.
There are various ways of getting ones
name printed in the newspaper headlines
The John Temple Graves plan is to make
n0nsensical suggestions to and about
prominent politicians.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

The Order of the Rich Mans consplr-
acy is a much more exclusive organiza-
ton than the order of Ananias. ANY
old thing can get in the latter organiza-
ton. but il takes a stiff property qualif-
catlon 10 get In the former
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27
Change.

How marriage alters things. Before
marriage, he Is always catching her in
his arms"
and after2"
Hes always catching her in his trous-
ers pockets"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27
Gettlng Hot in ohio-

From the kiiIato Times
Relations between the Republicans of
Ohio are fast becoming tinged with the
kindly feeling and unity that pervades a
national convention Of the D. a. r.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

The Atlanta Constitution and the Allan
ia Journal are very busy reading each
other out Of the Democratic party, while
the Macon Telegraph and the Atlanta
Georgian are INDUCING in the same pas
time This seems 10 be one Of the favor
ite amusements Of the Democratic papers.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

NO respectable and industrious negro
can have any reason TO complain of his
treatment in my part OF the country, a"
said Mr.. Caleb Ticknor, a prominent citi-
zen of Camden, s. c., at the Shoreham.
"As a matter of fact. the law-abiding and
decent negro always has the coUntenance
and active support of the white people Of
South Carolina. But in my town we have
adopted a plan of Kidding the community
of worthless blacks that has worked very
satisfactorily Whenever a strange mem-
Der of the colored race comes TO town a
watch is kept on him 10 see how me con-
ducts himself. II he seems disposed to
work he is welcomed, but if. after day
or so he acts the part Of an idier the
town marshal interviews him as TO his
intentions He is told I'm f0rcible Ian
guage that remaining within the precincts
Of Camden means work, and that no
Ioafing viii be tolerated.
Usually this advice is acted upon. but
If 1t is disregarded, the vagabond law IS
invoked. and the culprit is introduced 10
the rockpile without further ceremony.
Here is a plan that is worth the adoption
Of every town in the land It protects the
citizens against vicious and criminal
class. and teaches all of that stripe that
the strong arm Of the law viii be put In
operation against them If they do not
either. reform or move on"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

A critic objects 10 Mr.. Roosevelt
statement concerning his intention to
formally open the jamestown Exposition.
Wen. the President may split ininiuves,
bus he doesn't split hairs
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

An ossihed man has willed his body
after death to Harvard University. As
he can not. by any stretch of the mag
4uaticn. be classed as moliycoddle the
university win doubtless be duly appre-
ciative
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

II married people could suppress their
tempers as easily as they suppress their
divorce suits there would be less work
for the courts.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27
FIurray!

Make a noise Of exultation
Near and FAR.
Andy's earned a decoration
Fighting war;
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

A New York surgical society complains
that the ambulances are driven so fast TO
the hospitals that it endangers the lives
Of the patients. The idea is, perhaps that
the longer the patient can be kept from
'the surgeons. the better chance he has to
escape with his life
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

The pending question. Who is the
greatest Americana" must, necessarily
continue TO pend until the close Of the
baseball season.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

Tariff reform is the only T. r. that we
are willing to have Mr.. Bryan nominate
in the next Presidential fracas." says
Tom Watson's Weekly Jeffersonian. Mr.
Roosevelt viii probably have equally as
much 10 say in regard 10 this suggestion
as he has had 30 say concerning Mr.
Graves suggestion
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27
swinging Ohio.

some OF these fellers that are going
out to swing Ohio"
'.WeH?"
Had better look out for the back
swing
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27
small Returns.

It is not much satisfaction to make tvs
blades of grass grow where one has
planted a peck of seed.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

When in Vermont the other day. Mr..
Bryan consented TO get on the scales, and
he was surprised 10 ascertain that his
weight is now 234s pounds When he
entered the Presidential campaign In 1896,
the Nebraskan tipped the beam at exactly
l65 Mr.. Bryan's age was then thlrty-siX.
Ia eleven years, therefore. his avoirdupois
has increased siNty-Hine pounds an aver
age annual increase of only a little more
than six pounds. AprOpOs Of this COM
parison a Washington newspaper man re-
calls story that illustrates the Demo-
cratic leaders saving grace of hUmOr-a
quality Of character that not many people
credit Mr. Bryan with possessing. AR.
Bryan had just arrived al the town Of his
birtk Salem, H.. after his nomination at
Chicago. ThitheT rushed an army OF
newspaper men from all parts Of the
country 10 write about him. The one in
volved IN this story had received a tele-
gram from his editor instructing him 10
ascertain ana wire Immediately Mr.
Bryan's height, weight size Of feet, the
number Of his hat, dc. The correspondent
turned over 90 the nominee the editors
telegram of instructions Alr. Bryan read
its contents aloud giving the desired in
formation seriatim. When he reached
the question as 10 the size of his hat, he
smiled and inquired:
Does your editor mean before or
after2"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

London has a new verb. TO suffrage"
which, according TO the Hartford Times,
may be used in this way; She was ar
rested while suhraging." Over here dis
orderly conduct covers the same ground
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

Senator Tillman Is said 10 be mad clear
through because his audiences show a
tendency To grow smaller and smaller.
Perhaps the Senator has rather overdone
that sort of talk
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

Jan Jankowsd wants the courts 10
change his name 10 John Smith. This is
the open season for John Smiths.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

The Car complains that the debates in
the DOuma amount 10 nothing. The same
condition prevails IN Congress. but no one
ever heard Uncle Joe" complaining
about IT,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

The more I see of foreign peoples. the
better / think of my own" says Mr.
Henry Watterson. That's right Marse
Henry. there's no place like home,'
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

Mr. Loeb is an ideal man TO head a
traction company. Very few evils in a
community fail, sooner or later. to be
charged up 10 the street car people. And
Mr.. Loeb is used TO taking the blame for
things
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

From the Philadelphia Public Ledger
Gov. Hagerman, Of New Mexico. must
plead guilty to the charge of not having
been a Rough Rider
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

rs New York to become a mining
campo"
Il think not. In a mining camp a muir
deTeT stands a good chance OF getting his
neck stretched"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
THE GRAFTER's VERSION.

My country, It's Of thee
! sound my minstrelsy.
OF thee 1 sing.
! love thy rocks, you bet!
/ love thy stocks. ct Get.
And unto those I get
/ firmly cling.
Ny country. It's of thee.
Sweet land of 1obbery,
Thou best of jokes
I love thy every cove,
I love each verdant grove,
But most Of all ! love
Thy verdant folks.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

Endorsement Is going to have this effect
upon Southern girls. he Is apt to lose
some Of bis popularity down that way
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

And now it Is discovered that Senator
Wetmores seat in the Senate IS No. %
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

The girl designated by the President as
the prettiest girl in the South" has mar
ried q New Yorker. II Mr.. RcoseveIts
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27
OF Course.

Say!
"Weu?"
What's the best way TO catch the
Presidents carr"
BY getting hold Of one Loeb"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

Uncle Joe" Cannon, unaccompanied
by large and varied assortment Of
adjectves. viii 90 TO Danvilie. Ill, soon
TO spend the summer with his grand
children.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

Pittsburg people are said TO be suffer
ing from ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS q pseudo
molotlc formation induced By carbonaceous
accumulations." Smoke up, Pittsburgerst
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

Howdy, Spring! Is It really you, this
time?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

Col. John A. Joyce. in a poem published
in the Baltimore American, speaks Of his
flight from pole TO pole" Mr.. Well
man might get some valuable pointers
from Col Joyce
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

An Indiana man has made three sepa-
rate attempts % tell funny story he
knows and each lime he laughed so
heartily before be got 10 the point that
he disl0cated his jaw. Il is hard luck 10
have a story Ike that on your mind and
not be able 20 get il on
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

Another New York woman Is on trial
for murder, but as she never figured in
a "Florodora" sextet, the trial is not
attracting very much attention
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

The peace bout is finished. and grim
visaged Stead hath smoothed his wrinkled
front.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

SupersutiOus uuisances are pointing
out the fact that the jamestown Expo
sitiou was opened on Friday. Oh. well.
this country was discovered on Friday
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

Pennsylvania woman is suing q
former sweetheart for kissing her more
than two years ago. Surely there ought
TO be some statute of limitation provided
for defense against this sort of litigation
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

The Houston Post is having a hard time
squaring its strawberry yarns with that
recent Texas suowst0rm.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

Those new postage stamps with Capt
John Smiths picture on them are very
nice, Of course, but they would make a
much bigger hit in Georgia If they bore
Hoke's likeness.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

The King of Siam styles himself
Brother of the Moon and Half Brother
Of the Sun, This indicates that he is
certainly some planets step-son, but as
% that he Is silent
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

The sun shines brightly. the bees hum
merrily, the birds sing sweetly'' down
about Bristol, Tenn, according 10 the
Herald-COurier. It's an easy guess that
there Is an editor planning a fishing trip.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

The Washington Herald is delivered bQ
carrier IN the DiStrict Of Columbia aud az
Alexandria. Va, at IS cents per month,
daiIy and Sunday, or at % cents per
month aolthout the Sunday issue
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1907-11-09
LOOKING FOR PLACES
The Mayor VIII Be the Central
 Figure For Several Weeks.

Although there are a great man!
 who profess to be on the inside in re
 gard to what is likely to happen 1T Waterbury's political world within the next few months, some of then are talking just to hear themselve! warble. Everything that is being told Is in confidential manner. Thai ] Is just "between you and me- (some of them have it between you and l, sometimes adding the lamp post)
 Few by the way profess to be seeking the appointments; the appointments in this as well as other cities of its kind are seeking the men.
 It is said, (take particular notice of the saidD, that the board of safety as in past years is the most in de- mand although not few are willing to do duty on the board of works where the meetings last all night and then longer. The present democratic members of the board of safety arc thought to be willing to return. Moreover it is claimed by theil friends since they were the issue of the campaign" they should be return ed. But large is the. number that does not agree that the board of safe ty was the issue of the campaign. They scoff at the talk that because Mayor Thoms was ~ reelected by a big majority that 1t was simply a vindication for the board of safety. But the present commissioners ad- mirers declare that's what it amount ed to. Several candidates are fore the first of the year. Opinions vary as to the make up of the board; some think if any commissioner is dropped, all will be passed up, while others are of the impression that the board in its entirety will be sent back if they so wish. For the board of works many names have been men, tioned but the mayor may decide to retain the old board.
 The board of finance is receiving some consideration, but appointments on this board are not sought much There is lively scramble on for the bureau of assessment and for auditor Several would like these berths. The democrats will no doubt soon meet and caucus for the chairmanship of the board of aldermen. Aldermen Gallagher Spain, Hayes and Scully have been mentioned for the position. There seems to be a slight let up in the candidacy for sealer of weights and measures. AS it is understood that the present office holders under the school board will be left alone, a number are now seeking the position of assistant truant officer which is likely to come into existence.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1907-11-09
BOYS IN COURT
Paid $1 and COsls For Hamper.
 ing With Hand Car.

For some time the railroad offlciali here have been bothered by conduct of boys near the Meriden junction in South Brooklyn. Two or three times railroad wrecks have been averted py the closest scratch. Cars have been let loose and derailed and others nave been broken open. A week aga hand car was run onto the main passenger line and but for the close watch the railroad police have been Keeping a terrible smash up would nave been the result. Yesterday the following were arrested by railroad policeman Quinn and Detective Kee.. gan: Morris Gugelmety, Charles Pernaitis, Henry Molesky, Henry La. Plant, Valentine Lasuritze, Edward Burns. Victor Leggett, Ray Falleru Thomas Fallern and William Farrell
 They were charged with breach oi the peace and being minors Attorney Hayes was appointed their guardian ad litum. Judge Peasley imposed me Of S1 and costs in each case.
 Four more boys were charged with annoying people on Branch street particularly Hebrews. They were lei go as the case was not proved.