Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-03-30
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What Is he guilty of?"-Life
Elsie-What did he do when you
told him he must not see you any
more? He turned down the light.
Ally Sloper
She-That Mr.. Scarey Is the most
chicken-hearted fellow | ever met. He
Possibly he was an Incubator baby
Boston Record.
DO you believe that the good die
| youngT Il guess they do, il all my
wife tells about her first husband is
true. - Houston Post.
Madame Ito her newly arrived maid
servant What is that you are bring
ing in your hand? Maid oh, that is
nothing but little crockery cement
Meggendorfer Blaetter
Are You related to the bride or
groom electY inquired the busy usher.
No Then what interest have you
In the ceremony2" I'm the defeated
candidate, - Courier Journal.
What a well informed woman that
Mrs. Wadleigh Is, isn't sheg" why
i shouldn't she he? Her cook has worked
for nearly Everybody in the nelghbor-
hood. - Philadelphia Inquirer.
Mister" "Wen?' said the drug,
gist. NAV wants to know II she tries
porous plaster for week an don't
like it, will You exchange it fer tooth
brushY'- Minneapolis Tribune.
Mistress tengaging new servant)--
And hope you're not too friendly with
the policemen. Servant-Lor, no.
ma'am. | 'ate 'em. My father was a
hanarchst, mum. Pick -Me.Up.
Mistress Ito coored house bow
Don't your new shoes hurt you, Sam?
sam Yaas'm, dey do hurt me consld'-
able; sometimes | has ter get up In de
middle of dc night n tek'm of. Smart
Set
Polite FloorwaIker What can we
show you today, lady? Mrs Finlcky
For goodness sake. my man. don't
, call me lady - Polite Floorwalker--~
Excuse me- see now that | was mis-
taken. Clipped.
! Aha - exclaimed Mr. Jelms Been
I treasuring another mans picture all
these years. hcy?' mot exactly an
swercd his better half. That's photo
taken OF you, dear, when you had hair"
Washington Herald.
Speaking Of Idle curiosity" said the
typewriter boarder "men have more of
II than women" Naturally" rejoned
the scanty haired bachelor. THE curl
osIty Of women Is anything but Idle:
It works overtime TX Chicago News
Madge-I don't know whether TO be
mad or not. Kitty What's the mat
! teri Madge-I just met Charlie Brown
and lie said this veil was very becom-
ing. You know It's No thick can't see
through it Mt all Detroit Free Press.
Have you any request to make?"
| asked the sheriff OF the erstwhile socie-
ty man who was TO be hanged ON the
demned man. let me tie the moose
| myself ! never yet wore ready-made
.!e. Philadelphia Press.
Wealth has its disadvantages" said
the philosopher yes" answered the
man with sporting incllnatIons 1T
must be- very mon0tonOus for man to
be able TO bet five or ten thousand dol
lars on horesrace without caring
whether he loses II or not ~ Washing.
ton Star.
Doctor | want 70 thank you FOR
your valuable medicine" at helped
you, did III" asked the doctor, very
much pleased. 1T helped me wonder
fully" How many bottles did you
find It necessary TO take?' oh, | didn't
take any Of it. My uncle took one bot.
tie. and | am his sole heir" phlladel-
phia Inquirer
Golfer (who rather fancles himseIf)
L suppose you've been round the links
with worse players than me, CHI? tThe
caddie takes no notice. Golfer lin his
loudest yoice)--l say, | suppose you've
been round the links with worse play.
ers than me, eli? Cnddie--I heard YER
ra weeI what ye said the FIRST time.
I'm just thinkin' ABBOTT 1.-THE Sketch.
Counsel defending prisoner / am
follower Of I0mbros0 and believe
that my client was predestined to per
form the deed. therefore he should not
be punished, but should be acquitted.
Judge also am follower OF LON
broso. and believe that / was predes-
tined 10 pronounce judgment upon the
prisoner. / therefore sentence him to
two years imprisonment Lustige
Blaetter
Neronese's Big Painting.