Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-02-27
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doctor. what is good to take to cure
the redness of my nose?" "The pledge"
Houston Post.
Knicker-Primitive men plowed the
earth with a sharpened stick. Booker
You don't mean to say golf dated
back that far!-Scissors.
"The doctors have finally agreed
upon the cause Of links Illness" Did
they hold another consultations NO
a post-mortem. "-Headlight
Here, hold my horse a minute, will
your" "Sir! I'm a member Of Con-
gressw Never mind. You look hon.
est. III take chance. &c Courier
Journal.
Mrs. Henpeck-Shame on you for
growing about DIR. Bolus. Didn't he
just bring you back from the jaws of
death and Henpeck (wearily) And
back to the jaws of life.-Borrowed.
Woman--Now, If you don't leave at
once I'll call my husband and he's an
old Harvard football player. Tramp
Lady, If yer love him don't call him
out. used to play wild Yale.-Judge.
Cynthia-Oh, what world this is
for woman; do wish the Lord had
made me man! Molly-Why, my
dear, maybe he did and you Just
haven't found him yet-American
Spectator.
There is only one ordained mission
airy In the world for 100000 heathens,
your excellency," said the cannlbal.
We'll, got mlne," said the cannibal
chief. rubbing his lips.-Yonkers
Statesman.
John, dear" wrote lady from the
continent, II enclose the hotel bin."
Dear Jane, l enclose check" wrote
John in reply, "but please don't buy any
more hotels at this price-they are rob-
bling you!' '-Tlt- Bits.
'Why don't you let Willie play in the
street with the rest of the kids?" said
Mr.. Wise. I'm afraid it will spoil his
clothes!" was the wife's answer.
"Thunderation!" exclaimed Wise, I'VE
can buy clothes, but we can't buy
brains!'- Clipped.
Mrs. Dennis Ito her husband, who
smells strong escape of gas some
where and is about to strike match)
You're never after looking for leak
wild lighted match, Mick? Mick
Hould your whist! They're safety
matches !-Half-Holiday.
Doctor, can't you give me something
to relieve my sleeplessness2" "Yes; I
could prescribe sedatlve, but drugs
would do you no real good. Instead of
that let me recommend large, fat
onion, to be eaten raw just before 60
Ing to bed" why, doctor, that's ex-
actly what keeps me awake" How
can it possibly have that effect?' my
wife eats it.''-Chicago Tribune.
Bobson-You look all broken up, old
man. What's the matter? Craik-I
called on Miss Pruyns last night, and
no sooner had I entered the parlor than
her mother appeared and demanded to
know my intentions THAT must have
been rather embarrassing" Yes; but
that was not the worst. Just as the
Did lady finished speaking. Miss Pruyn
shouted down the stairs, Mamma, man.
ma, be isn't the one v"-London Tit
Bits . ~
A Scotsman the other day went to a
London dentist with a toothache. The
dentist told him he would only get re-
lief by having it out. Scot-Mon, then
1 must haze gas. While the dentist
was getting it ready the Scot began to
count his money. The dentist said,
somewhat testify, "You need not pay
until it's out" The Scot replied: II
ken that, but as ye're ABBOTT to maxi me
unconscious l jist want to see hoo
sporting Times.
The public-spirlted lady meets the
little boy on the street. The Lady
Little boy, haven't you any home? The
Little Boy-Oh, yes'm, I've got a home.
The Lady-And loving parents? The
Little Boy-Yes'm. The Lady-Are
they bringing you up to be good and
helpful citizen? The Little Boy
Yes'm. The Lady-Will you ask your
mother to come and hear talk on
when Does Mothers Duty to Her
Child Begin?" next Saturday after
noon7 The Little Boy (explosively)-
What's tn matter with you. ma! Don't
you know me? I'm your little boy!--
Cleveland Plain Dealer.