davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Los Angeles herald., 1907-07-21
NOT SO.DEAF.

The Colonel had a seat In the car
alongside of a very respectable looking
man who was reading a newspaper, and
after he had folded the sheet up he was
asked:
"well, what do you think of the po-
litical situation?'
''Um," responded the man as he looked
around.
'Do you think Bryan will be a candi-
date?"
''Um."
"will Roosevelt run again?"
"Um."
do the people seem to want Foraker?'
'Um."
"or do they seem to lean to Taft?'
''Um"
The Colonel waited a minute and then
asked:
what do you make of things, any
wayT
"Um," was the same old reply.
Excuse me, sir. didn't know that
you had an infirmity."
Nor I, either" was the answer.
"But I've been asking you a whole lot
of questions, and you have replied to
each and every one with an um.' /
took 1t from that that you must be hard
Of hearing.
mot at all, sir. If you had taken 1t
that l was holding down a job in the
custom house at S2,6oo year and didn't
Los Angeles herald., 1907-07-21

State Of Texas!'
80? Then draw a check for the
amount and cross Texas of the map of
the United States"
Ten minutes later the man was back to
say:
"Mr. President, we have been fined
million dollars by the State of Missouri"
Draw a check and send 1t to them.
Also, cross Missouri off the map"
There was peace for a quarter of an
hour, during which the great man smiled
to think what good old world this was,
and then his henchman reappeared to
say:
"Mr. President, the State of Kansas
has beaten us in our suits. and we will
have to pay about two million dollars in
fines and COSTS
Draw check for the amount, James,
and see that there is no more Kansas
left on the map. Don't hesitate to come
Los Angeles herald., 1907-07-21
THE REAL THING.

He had been caught in a summer show
er, and as he boarded the street car the
paste was dripping from his straw hat
and forlorn look. Observing that 1t was
being stared at he said:
II was up In Danbury, Connecticut,
about the hrst Of June, and going into
hat store 1 asked to look at a good hat.
"'Do you want real Panama. asks
the man.
al do,' says I, but don't want
Panama made in Danbury.'
"'Let me tell you he goes on, that
the real thing is made in our factory
here. In fact, we beat the real thing
all to pieces"
How do you get the straw
"'Comes up by. our own steamers
"'And the makingF 4"
"'we import the native women. Got
over four hundred of EN-"
nd the Panama atmosphere"
"'N =, have two hundred barrels week
sent to s.'"
HE dioo't look like a man who'd lie
about a hat" continued the wearer, 'and
| don't think he did. / think he forgot to
tell me that they didn't import the Panama
paste, but used some made right there IN
Danbury, and being in something Of a
hurry he neglected to mention that when.
wear a sailors sou 'wester and leave my
Panama at home"
JOE KERR,
Los Angeles herald., 1907-07-21
"A CURIOUS COINCIDENCE.

Speaking of curious condolences" said
the man from Pittsburgh to the group in
the hotel lobby, ''but / encountered one
only last week, and 1t is bothering me
yet. In the smoker on the train were
three cross-eyed men, all sitting near me.
was thinking how queer 1t was, when
one Of them leaned over and whispered:
81 don't like the looks Of the cross
eyed chap over there. l never trust one
of the sort
Five minutes later the individual he
had referred to came along after a drink
OF water and stopped to say to me, point
ing out the third cross-eyed man:
"'Look out for some gum game from
that fellow over there
at wasn't over ten minutes later when
the third man sat down beside me and
spoke of the sunspots and the weather,
and then dropped his voice and whis-
pered:
Los Angeles herald., 1907-07-21

stranger, have you noticed that we
have two cross-eyed men In this coach ?
why, we have three, blurted out
Where's the third oneT
" Begging your pardon, but you are
sufferer from the same cause
"'Me7 Why, what a mistake you make!
said two just to spare your feelings,
We really have three, and you make the
third.
I'VE had dispute" continued the
Pittsburgher, "and I'll be hanged IL the
three Of them didn't set in and declare
that 1 alone of all was cross-eyed! Did
you ever hear Of such a thingl I'm al
most good mind to go to a doctor. I'll
leave it to you gentlemen II I'm cross
eyed"
And then we took a square look at him
and saw that he was cock-eyed in both
optics and had lost his winkers and eye
brows to boot! JOE KERR.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-07-21
HOW 1T WORKS.

again If you have to. This is not my
busy day."
The confidential man held of almost half
an hour this time, but when he did ap-
pear again it was on the jump and
with his eyes bulging out
well, James?'
"Mr. President, the State of Michigan
has begun suits against US on six hun
dred counts; the State of Illinois on eight
hundred; the State of Pennsylvania on one
thousand, and the State Of Indiana on
fourteen hundred
80? Well. my dear boy, cross 'em
off the map-cross Fem off.'
"Yes, sir. Anything else?"
"After you have crossed 'em of with
the States before mentioned go out and
buy the remainder of the county for
cash and rename it Rockefeller's Rack
Yard. That's all to-day" &
JOE KERR.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-07-21

The President Of the Standard Oil
Company was sitting in his Office hum
ming tune to himself when his conf
Dental man rushed In and exclaimed:
"Mr President, our Company has been
fined $1,5Oo,O00 and driven out Of the
Los Angeles herald., 1907-07-21
AT THE BALL GAME.

shortstop-We don't seem to be able to
hit that country pitcher.
Backstop-No, he's got one OF those
rural free deliveries.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-07-21

Johnny-Can go to the circus, pa7
Father-No indeed. / wouldn't think
Of letting you see such a degrading ex-
hibition.
Johnny-Then won't you please take me
ito the menagerie? Teacher says we
ought to see the animals.
Father-What! Pay full price to see
only half the show? l guess not.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-07-21

propose to talk politics and get the
bounce you would have hit the mark.
Try me on chickens, sir, and you'll find
1 can hear every word you say"
JOE KERR.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1907-06-03
LETTERS REVEAL PLOT.
Late Procurator Deferred Representa-
tive Government

ST. PETERSBURG, June "A num-
Der of important letters written by the
late Constantine Pobedonostzeff while
procurator- general of the Holy Synod,
are now appearing in the Archive, the
leading historical journal of Russia.
The letters deal with momentous
events Immediately following the as
sassination of Alexander II and shed
new light on the fate of the constitu-
ton drafted by Lorta Melikoff. 1t is
established that Alexander II, at the
time of his assassination, was about to
proclaim the constitution drafted by
Melikoff, who was then virtual dictator
of Russia, establishing parliamentary
institutions in the empire. The death
of the emperor was even ascribed to a
reactionary plot that had for its ulti-
mate object the prevention of the pro-
mitigation of a new constitution.
PobedOnostzeff's letters fully confirm
the existence of this constitution and
give complete and authentic details of
the intrigues following the accession tc
the throne Of the successor of Alex
ander II, as a result of which Pobedo-
nostzeff succeeded in deferring the es-
adjustment of representative govern
ment In Russia for quarter of a CEN
fury, or until Nicholas II created the
present parliament in 1905.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1907-06-03
WESTERN TRIP
ALL PLANNED
Omaha Excursi0nists Will
Soon Be On The Road

OMAHA, June 3.-All arrangements
Northwest Trade Excursion which the
business men of Omaha will make in
June. All that now remains to be done
is to go ahead and carry out those ar
rangements. The various cities along
the route have been very kind and are
showing great interest in their coming,
and in many instances have planned
elaborate receptions and entertain
ments for them. The assurance is given
that the advertised schedule will be
strictly observed. Although scheduled
for trip of only sixteen days, the
party could easily spend month on the
lions which have been sent the Com
mercial club. Scarcely a city or town
along the entire 5000 miles of way but
has written asking for an extension OF
time. While these invitations are most
gratifying and the sentiment expressed
by them is greatly appreciated by the
managers of the trip, it has been found
impossible to comply with these re-
quests. The running time of the train
has been figured to a nicely and every
moment possible has been allotted to
each town which will be visited.
In answering requests for longer
stay, attention is being called to the
injustice which would be done the citi-
zens of the next town if the train is
held beyond the time of departure ad-
vertised. In making the time table the
railroad people laid down certain rules
and strict adherence to printed sched-
ule is the most imperative.
Instead of bringing a brass band, as
the Omaha men have always done in
the past. the Elks' quartet, the finest
quartet west of Chicago, will be with
the party. There will be numerous oc-
casiOnS at which music will be desired
and the Omaha men will be prepared
to furnish a first-class article in that
line. The quartet is composed of J. r.
Gerke, first tenor; w. S. Rigdon, sec
ond tenor; DIR. Claude P. Lewis first
bass, and c. S. Haverstock, second
bass.
Every member of the party is antici-
pating most interesting, instructive,
pleasant and profitable trip and looking
forward to meeting our people.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1907-06-03
THAT ANNEXATION ELECTION.

1t is to be regretted that the PROPOSE
tions of annexing the two suburban
districts TO the city met with such an
overwhelming defeat at Saturdays
election and only one conclusion can
be drawn from the vote, and that is
that the suburban residents in District
No are decidedly opposed to assum-
ing any of the future financial re
sponsibilities of the city and are in
different to the growth of Walla Walla
and its suburbs.
Those, however. favoring the annexa-
ton of additional territory to the city,
can find some consolation in the vote
cast for annexation in District No. l,
where SO votes for annexation and II
against were polled. Had the council
listened to the suggestions of several
influential residents in District No. /
when the annexation question was first
brought up, to divide the two big terri
tories into several smaller ones, it is
highly probable that Green's Annex
and that district contiguous would
have voted to come in It was de-
cidedly manifested that the owners of
acre tracts are opposed to coming into
the city at this time. Many opposed
to the scheme expressed the opinion
that for years to come they would get
no return in the way of municipal i'm
provaments for the taxes they would
be required to pay every year. In =.
measure this is probably true. but it
has been the history of all towns that
have grown to the Importance of a city
that il takes time to work out munich
pal problems and in the meantime
property owners must suffer some in
convenience and perhaps financial loss
for the benefit of the community at
large.
Tho defeat of the annexation scheme
probably puts an end to Walla Walla
securing new charter and becoming
a city of the first class, as it is hardly
probable that 10000 population can be
mustered within the corporate limits.
The council and Commercial club
should Immediately take steps to NEE
the people of Green's Annex and ad-
joining districts with view of annex
ing those districts to the city. The
vote polled by residents of those dis
trlctS indicates that they are anxious
TO become a part of Walla Walla, and
they should be encouraged in every
way possible. Another section that
could probably be added to the city is
the territory bounded on the east by
Fern avenue, On the west by Division
street, on the south by Bryant avenue
and on the north by Whitman street
which it is proposed to open soon. This
territory is all laid off into town lots
or fractional acres and probably has a
population of 400 people. With this
additional population the 10000 people
necessary to obtain a new city charter
can undoubtedly be secured
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1907-06-03
Portland Men Invest In Snake
River Valleys

PORTLAND, June 3.-That Eastern
Oregon is on the eve of becoming as
great an oil-producing center as South
ern California is the opinion of eastern
experts who have just finished making
careful examination of the Snake
River valley in the vicinity of Ontario
and Vale, oregon, and Payette, Idaho.
A syndicate of Portland capitalists has
formed a corporation and leased 10000
acres of land in the vicinity of Ontario.
A standard 72-foot derrick has been
erected and boring is now under way.
The promoters of the enterprise are
prepared to go down $500 feet or about
5000 feet below sea level, although they
are assured by oil experts that oil will
be struck at much less depth.
All that part of the Snake River val
ley contains indications of oil and gas.
A film of oil covers the water in many
of the springs and oil sepages are fire.
quent throughout the district. Around
Ontario the we'll water is charged with
gas, which if confined and allowed to
accumulate burns with pure white
light. Experts familiar with the Kan
SaS and Indian territory oil fields say
that the Ontario gas is similar to that
in the Kansas oil field and points con-
clusively to the fact that oil is to-, be
found below the gas stratum in the
Snake River valley. The question, of
course. is the thickness of this stratum
1t may be possible that it is several
thousand feet thick. in which case
present boring appliances would not go
through it.
A number of Ontario residents use
this natural gas for heating and light
ing purposes. A. F. Boyer a wealthy
merchant of that town, struck a strong
flow of gas at a depth of 200 feet,
which was strongly impregnated with
oil. Mr.. Boyer built a separator, which
he installed over the well, and now has
a strong pressure of fuel and lighting
gas which he uses himself and sells to
his neighbors.
The incorporators of the Ontario Gas
company are: Wallis Mash, w. P. La
Roche, Frank Richardson, Alfred
Schneider and A. E. Clark of Portland,
and w. L. Hixon, wealthy Minnesota
lumberman.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1907-06-03
FOR STRAWBERRY DAY.
(MiltOn Eagle.)


The Strawberry Day Festival to be
given next Tuesday and the reception
and banquet in the evening is given
with a general object in view and
general purpose in mind, and not for
the pleasure or benefit of those who
are members of the Progressive as
ISOLATION. The object is a wider ac-
Quaintance and closer relations with
the Inland Empire for the mutual good
to be found in more united efforts for
the development of the country.
Milton, like every other little city
similarly situated, has almost since
the day it became known as a stage
station, been self-centered For 40
years events have revolved around its
little pivot of existence. The horizon
of life has been drawn closer and
closer, until each one has thought of
little but self and governed all actions
accordingly.
With the coming of rapid and con-
venient mode of travel a new sphere
has been opened; lifes orbit is en-
larged. A few weeks ago a stranger
on the street was an object of cur
ioSity. Everybody "rubbered" at him
with suspicion and wonder at what he
was doing here. Today strangers are
too numerous to attract attention.
Scores of people come and go where
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1907-06-03
WORK STARTS ON TETON.
Four Hundred Men Are Employed or
Project

Project.
YAKIMA, June 3.-The government
work on the Tieton ditch is beginning
to take shape. Four hundred men are
at work on the line at camp No. 1 and
higher up, not to mention a large num-
Der who are in the employ of COntraC-
tor Weisberger, who is getting ready
to manufacture the cement shapes"
that will be used to line the ditch.
The road from Naches City up is
lined with teams and men all the time.
A vast amount Of stuff, consisting of
supplies and machinery, is being taken
in and freighters are making big
money. On some kinds of stuff that is
being hauled into camp No. l the men
with four teams are making SIS a day,
the rate being 55 cents per ton per
mile and the road being in first-clas SIS
shape.
At camp No. 1, which is "a miles
from North Yakima, buildings have
been put up to accommodate the engi-
neers, clerks and men who are working
Immediately under the supervision Of
Ernest McCulloh. Good comfortable
living, eating and office houses have
been put up. and all the men are we'll
provided for. Laborers are getting
$3.50 per day of eight hours and pay
rs cents a day for board and$1 a month
hospital charges.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1907-06-03
ADJUSTMENTS

"Salome," the sensuous, sensational,
aesthetic and poetic tragedy of Oscar
Wilde's, may be seen at the keylor
Grand theater tonight, with the original
San Francisco cast. The operate YER
sion of the much heralded play was
suppressed in New York, but the dra-
matte version which was given its first
trial in California had phenomenal
run and theater-goers are still talking
about if in San Francisco. Much prom
inence has been given by the press to
the work of Miss Elizabeth Stuart in
the title role, and Mr.. Wilfrid Roger,
who takes the part of Herod Antipas.
The latter has been spoken of by
few of the critics as the coming Ameri-
can tragedian and his advent in this
city will give the public a chance to
gauge his talents.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1907-06-03

single individual formerly came ana
went.
With the new conditions come new
duties. When the town entertdiil9
friends and visitors it should De the
pride of every citizen to aid aud ASSIST
in extending the hospitality and enter
tainment of the city. To do every
thing within his power to make any
occasion in which the town may De IN
terested a success in the biggest ana
best meaning of the term. TO learn
to grasp a visitor, stranger though ne
be. bv the hand and bid him welcome
and proceed to show him the beauties
of the town and the possibilities of the
country. He may be a millionaire or
something of the kind. They are SAID
to resemble ordinary folk. There IS
plenty of push and pull in Milton II 1T
is exercised in the right direction and
all at the same time.
Bear this in mind next Tuesday.
Don't overlook any opportunity to
make Strawberry day the great sue
cess that it should be.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1907-06-03
PUBLIC SALE,

I will offer for sale at the Reel Liv-
cry, Joseph, Oregon, Saturday, June 90,
1907, the following described property,
tO-Wit:
Livery property on Main street. con-
Sisting of large new barn, dwelling
house and six lots. The proposition of
leasing this property will be considered
prior to date of sale.
Also my entire stock of horses, har-
ness vehicles, robes, ETC., consisting in
part as follows:
Sixteen head driving horses.
Four saddle horses.
Seven sets driving harness.
One set work harness.
Six buggies.
Two hacks.
One wagon.
Two cutters.
One bob sled.
One hay baler.
Three mems saddles.
Two ladies' astride saddles
And other articles too numerous to
mention.
Sale will commence at 1 o'clock
sharp.
TERMS-All sums under $1,000
cash; all over $1,000 bankable note.
Time given on property and barn to
suit purchaser.
H. B. DAVIDHIZER. Auctioneer.
GLEN REEL, Owner.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1907-06-03
RICH IN OIL AND GAS GAS BEATS DRY GOODS
Good Game Of Ball Yesterday T.
Score ! to 5

A mighty good brand of ball was
that played yesterday afternoon on the
Second street grounds between the Gas
boys and Schwabacher nine, resulting
in a victory for the Gas boys by score
of to 5.
Up to the fifth inning the game was
as fine a one as has ever been seen
here. so say many of the olI-time fans.
Both teams did well in individual
and collective work; in fact, so well
was the game played that it is safe to
predict, judging from the large crowd
in attendance, that amateur local ball
has come to stay for the summer
The lineup of the two teams was as
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1907-06-03
Piles Cured in to IA Days.

PAZO OINTMENT is guaranteed
to cure any case Of Itching, Blind,
Bleeding or Protruding Piles in to IA
days or money refunded. so cents.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1907-06-03
WEIGHT Takes Office.

WASHINGTON, June 3.-Pearl
Weight of New Orleans has accepted
the offer to become commissioner Of
internal revenue, vice Yerkes. His
term will begin next December.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1907-06-03
FARMERS HAVE ANOTHER KICK

The Athena Press aptly remarks:
If wheat keeps on going up and the
crop prospects continue to grow brlght-
er and brighter Umat1lla county far-
mers will soon begin grumbling about
not knowing what to do with their
money"
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1907-06-03

Entered at the Postffice at Walla
Walla, Washington, as second-class
matter.
The Greeley tribune., 1907-09-05

Wanted-Washing and ironing.
S02 Fifth street.
Edwin Starkey left Monday for
Grand Junction on a business trip.
Government inspected eastern
corn. fed beef at Marks new market.
Urias Williams, teacher OF piano
forte. 1927 Fourth street. Phone
5l14 Red.
Meals 25 cents; board 81 week.
Sunday dinners a specially. ~
Twelfth street.
The w. c. T. u will meet at the
home of Mrs. Carpenter, Tuesday,
sept. 10, at 2:30 p M.
For Rent-New building, two
stories and basement, 25xSO feet.
Robert Orr .SO9 Seventh street.
Mrs. A. L Beggs of Salida came
down from Fort Collins last Saturday
for a few days visit with Miss Agnes
Robertson.
Phillip Marks has just opened up
lis new quarters in the Marlborough
block, where he has just the nices1
market in the city.
JIG. Kendel returned "Wednesday
last from Aspen. where he spent a
week after trip with the Cessna
opera company through utah ana
Colorado.
Mrs. Homer Hicks and Miss Pearl
pasley left last Monday for their
home in Mt. Vernon, H., after TWO
months visit with their sister, MIS-
Harvey Moore.
Mr.. and Mrs. W. S. McAuley lett
yesterday for their home IN Em :
poria, Kan, after a ten days 'ls,'
With their daughters, Mesdames d.
A. and II. c. Knight.
AL Kavanaugh, the Oldest engi-
neer of the Union Pacific, VINO was
pensioned few years ago. spei'
asst Friday in Greeley with lr'e''us.
Mr.. Kayanauph was on the passenger
run between Denver ana Cheyeh"e
for manv years.
A Russian with an unprono'lncao'e
name was arrested Tuesday evening
for abusing his wife ana oa"siIei
while in from the country ne
spent the night in jail and got the
usual punishment for drunk ana ols-
orderly later.