The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1907-05-26
KNOCKERINO
IVl HANDS OUT A FEW
Not Gabby, You Know, Bot There
Are Some Things Every
body Knows.

lobby reading some letters, and Mr.. Knock
erino pumped himself into the leather
beach seat beside that OF his acquaintance
without the least urging. Say, by George,
yOd look ike a hundred dollars! Must be
behaving, eh2 Only way, old pal, only way.
And you sure do look the part. Look like
somebody sound in wind and limb, without
ary mark or scratch on YOU
soh, no, but talking about scratches.
have you been running across Charlie
Undakuvver much during the last six
months or sof Nor Well-ha! hal-we
don't call him Charlie any more. you know
He's the Human Zebra to the bunch, and
e~verybody's hep. He's been going around
for the last six months or 30 with a layout
OF perpendicular scratches up and down
his face all the time, and that's what got
him the name. As soon as one assortment
Of scratches heals. why Charlie turns up
with another mess OF 'em, and l guess it's
been moved by somebody-oh. no, nobody
guesses who that somebody is. Of COURSE
that they be made p~ermanent-hel hel
Charles chart looks like a Malay's that's
been tattooed hat way, and he must blow
enough in arnioa and hniment and truck
to keep an ordinary man in cigars.
whats the answer? Oh, nothing. I'm
not there with that CAB thing. you know, old
man-but did you ever get a peek at his
second wife-that one that he married
about eight months agop No? Well. all
right. You ask me what the answer is.
but I'm not saying a word. just wait till
you get a fash at her, though, and maybe
you'll understand that scratched up map
OF Charles. Never saw such u pair Of
serpent's black lamps in a woman head,
and she's got the Ratchet face and high
cheekbones and all the rest that 60 with
hat kind Of orbs. / guess maybe Charlie
isn't eating out of her hand and such like!
| never pay any attention to these things
got all l can do to attend to my own game
but they tell me nat Charlie is the worst
buIaloed male thing on Manhattan Island
since he took on with that black eyed
widow. and il he doesn't look the role I'm
a Kafir.
sMember what an independent sort OF
cuss Charlie used to be2 Chest out. head
hack and all that? Well. y'ought to see
him now. Getting positively round shout
dered with humility, and his manner toward
all hands is as a~pologetio as Uriah Keeps.
Somebody was telling me that this second
wife Of his lights on him like a thousand o.
brick no matter who's around. You bullied
and bossed you first wife, l hear she said
to him before a whole parcel Of folks the
other night, but you're not going to run
me. you shrimp!' Fine for Charlie. hey?
Hal hal You See, she knew Charles first
wife-and I guess maybe a man isn't a pin
head that'l marry a woman who knew his
FIRST wife, eh?
well, it's to scream to hear Charlie
account for those scratches on his diagram;
it sure is. If they're not human fngernail
scratches then everybody that knows Char
lie is blind. But he's there with all kinds Of
fxups about 'em. Told me. for instance.
that a parrot that somebody sent his wife
from Honduras got suddenly homesick
and tore up his chart while feeling that way.
Same day he told another fellow that an
Angora kitten suffering from distemper,
belonging to some folks on the floor above
his fat. had leaped at him from the fire es-
cape and olawed him up. Told somebody
else that he'd slipped and fallen down the
L stairs. Then he staked another inquirer
to the hop yarn that he'd been marked up
by a stickup man while taking a solitary
walk on Riverside Drive. Hands out some
different kind Of a franc about that SCARED
mug OF his to everybody he knows, and it's
Al III ltLOWs Cdu w W hCcP llOlu BIl1uluk
in Charles face, for they've all had apipe
at that new wife OF his and know how she
mops him around like excess baggage.
Funny how they all GET
There goes Tom Grabbit over yonder by
the telephone counter. Nope. Tom and l
don't hit 1t of together any more. Oh.
yes. re used to be pretty chummy. but a
fellow can't spend a whole lifetime catering
A.. aL.- lG-l ~ ---l |
much bother-and Toms got one of
those tissue paper cuticles ~that-well,
through dodging around and knuckling
Ia that kind. 1 meant TO do him O favor,
at that-it didn't turn out Just like I thought
il would. but my intentions were all right
but Tom was too mean spirited to give me
for that.
you see, ro a year and a half ago
some fellow unloaded 5000 shares OF some
Junk Tonorah mining pr~operty-well.
anyhow, 1 had a right to think II was punk,
didn't I2-on Tom, and when he told me
about it-oh, no. by the way, he didn'tt tell
me himself, but ! heard about It'll went to
and told him that he ought to have a
qua rdian. ! thought it was up to me to
put him wise to 1t hat that Tonopah stun
wasn't worth the paper it was printed on,
but ne was plRneaded ABOUT IL ana In
sisted that the stock was all right. Well,
he asked me not TO mention the thing to his
wife II / happened to meet her or TO drop
their fat, because she was sore over
thin gs Tom had bitten on before, and
Of course ! had to tell him that I wouldn't
say anything about 1t TO her. As a matter
Of fact. l OF course didn't really intend to
say anything about it TO her, but when I
in upon 'em u couple Of niRhts
the trouble about me Is, old
nan, as you know, that I'm one Of theae
Internally frank, candid ducks-never under
about anything myself and 80 Of
don't expect other people to be that
way-and-welI, ! just accidentally blurted
nut something about Toms purchase of
hat Tonapah junk, and Tom OF course got
III swelled up and sore about 1t and made
lot OF cracks about my gabbiness and all
hat-me gabbyl wasn't that a joke?-out
n the hall that I wouldn't stand for, and so
We been taking the other side Of the
Itreet for II when we rec each other ever :,
inoe. And, just because he always has
zen a good deal OF a bullhead for luck the Q
Conopah thing didn't break my way at that, /
or the stock that Tom aid four bits for Is /