The Washington herald., 1907-01-27

that the Right Hon. James Bryce did feet inches
in the pole vault yesterday.
The Emperor (sternyl-It is not enough. Seven
feet OF we won't receive him. Wasn't the French
Ambassador to be here at this time'
Second Courtier-Yes. sire; he is in the garden
putting the l2pound shot.
The Empcror-Iufom him that I viii not sign
that treaty If alliance until he does better than he
did yesterday Can any among my faithful subjects
inform me who the last President Of the United
States!
Prime Minister ROoseyelt-Theodore Roosevelt, ]
think his name was. sire.
The Emperor-Why didn't be become KingY
Prime Minister-He said at Gridiron dinner.
your majesty that he would not accept third
term. and Che Supreme Court held that his word
was constitutional
The Emperor-Where is ex-President Roosevelt
now?
The Lord High Chambcriain-Hc is stin waiting
for Platt or Depew to resign. he go TO the
Senate
The Emperor thought pro-ogucd the Senate.
Chancellor Of the ESchequer-You did. bat Nor
gan and Pettus would not move out Of their chairs
They sitting there get
The Downfall of the Empire.
At this moment the emperor was in
terrupted by the presentation Of reports
upon state affairs.
These are but paltry things" ex-
claimed the emperor, with visible irrita-
ton. THE people do not realize their
blessings"
They demand their Congress be
gan the lord high executioner in meek
protest
4 have prorogued Congress" imperi-
ously shouted the emperor Wen have
no more of it. make the laws and ex-
ecute them ! am supreme,
And then. while everybody Joined in "a
loud shout. the King the King. Long
I live the King" the jester came along and
tumbled the emperor unceremoniOusly
from his throne Standing amid the
wreck he reCited with declamatOry effect
E-he had to do it with declamatory effect.
because that was the way President
Blythe wanted it dOne-the lines already
printed. (See first column And that
ended the Gridiron Clubs picturesque pic
ture of what would happen if centraliza-
ton really got in its deadly work and
made the American People bid farewell 70
Republican Institutions.
Bergman and His Bears.
Enter two bears
They were perfectly lovely bears, both
Of them a rich brown. They stood
upright. like the bear in Kipling's poem.
and they walked around like men, Hop
ping their great big paws and turning
their large beary heads, until they came
i'm front of where President Roosevelt was
sitting. when they went into ectasies OF
delight They did not seem TO appeal
+ to President Blythe. however. He never
did like bears, anyway So he appointed
/ a committee to throw the animals into
/ the street Away to the cruel and heart
/ less world with you" said he, just like
/ that.
/ But the bears looked grieved and pa
thetic They couldn't say anything AT
/ first. because the man who made IA.
/ bearskin costumes forgot to fix a mouth
/ that would open. So a club membe-
/ whose sympathies were aroused. had 70
/ talk for them, and explain that theli
| trainer was outside. The bears evidently
/ could hear, even if they couldn't speak
and nodded their heads gleefully. There
! upon the trainer appeared.
! Are these your bears2" asked Presi-
dent Blythe
Yes. sir. they are" was the reply
II have had them in charge ever since
/ their creation by Mr.. Bergman, now OF
/ the Washington Star. ! understand their
/ language. and have taught them the Ian
guage of man. They think as quickly
speak as rapidly. and spell as badly as
| the President OF the United States"
Have they any friends in the United
States Senate?"
NO" replied their trainer" ''Theil
/ lives have been simple. their habits cor
rect; they own no Standard oil stock
nor have they fenced in the public do
main"
your bears are certainly prodigies.
! commented Mr.. Blythe. What are theii
rames?"
zone is called Loeb and the other is
named Lodge" was the reply, amid
4 laughter.
How do they happen to be here?" was
the next question.
They escaped from me and went ii
search of their father, the originator Of
the Teddy bear, who, they We're giver
/ to understand, is to be taken into the
/ Gridiron Club tonight"
The Caricaturist Made to work.
! Whereupon, in a loud voice, there was
a call for Bergman. and the well-lnowT
cartoonist. with his black hair all nicely
pompadoured, came to the front H,
greeted the bears, and the bears greeted