Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-04-20
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lies perfectly wild over his new
auto" Huh! You should see him
under II. "-Milwaukee Sentinel.
The young man spoke bitterly: DO
You take me for fool?" "Oh, George"
she said, "this is so sudden. Mem.
phis Journal.
Mrs. Nurich,proudly-That clock on
the stairs is more than two hundred
years old. -@SMgs, Blueblood Cutting
ALI, of whom did you buy it?
First Authorization were laid up
in your house all last week, weren't
you? Second Millionaire-Yes. "Sick-
ness or investigation committee?"-
Life.
Brown-Do you think the Panama
Climate induces laziness? Town
Does it? Why l took some bees down
there once and they got so lazy they
wouldn't sting.
Hodge-What's old Scribbles doing?
He looks poverty stricken. Podge-He
is writing a series of articles on How
to Get Rich Without Capital"-C leve-
land Plain Dealer.
Mrs. Trust Magnate (newly rich)-
L want one of them octopus-shaped
rooms for the library. Cynical Archi-
tect-So appropriate, dear madam
Baltimore American.
Burr-Do you think the end of the
world will ever come? Dock-I
thought it had this morning; my wife
got her new hat home and there wasn't
thing wrong with it.
The Agent-If you have this ma
chine sir, you won't take anybody's
dust. The Magnate-Then I don't
want it. I'm out for everybody's
dust.-Cleveland Leader.
Algernon-I-aw-hav resolved to
-aw-do something useful in the
world, doncher know. Miss DeStyle-
Indeed! Algernon-Yaws. am-aw
learning to tie me own ties.-Chicago
Daily News.
What class of people do you think
has been most benefited by the libra
ries you have founded?" I'm not
sure" answered Mr. Dustin Stax
"But l kind of suspect it's the archi-
tects. Washington Star.
Teacher-If coal is So per ton. how
many tons could you get for 500 Dis
turbing Element-Three tons. Teacher
That's wrong. Disturbing Element
Il know it is, but they will do it
just the same.-Harvard Lampoon.
/ 81 am worthless thing" exclaim-
ed the rejected and detected young
man, despairingly "Oh, no." replied
the fair girl cheerfully. Not worth
less. Your skeleton alone would sell
for twenty dollars. Somerville Jour
nal.
THAT was an awful break Bimerly
made last night after he had proposed
to the rich Miss Anteek and been ac-
cepted.'' "What was it?' Just after
she had accepted him he asked if she
gave trading stamps. "-Commercial
Progress.
Surly Strong-Gin me a nickel,
missus? Missus-I should think a big.
strong man like you would be ashamed
to ask for money Surly Strong5-I
am. missus. but 1 amt got der nerve
/ to take it without askin. -Philadel-
phla Record.
Dudley bought horse the ether
day -" Yes, and he was hor-
ribly stuck, wasn't he?" "Oh! you've
seen the horse then?" mo, but he
told me e was going to buy one from
"A frier who is in the business -
Phil, I Press.
Bib (aghast)-I beg your
pardol,. madam, but that book your
little girl is playing with is an old
and exceedingly rare first edition.
| Caller-Oh. that's all right, Mr.. Vib-
| bert il will amuse her just as much
! as If 1t were nice and new.-Chicago
| Tribune.
Did your bull terrier get blue
ribbon at the show?" Yes" Il
should think you would hang 1t up
| in a prominent place" "No. You see,
! this was q hair ribbon he snatched
from a little girl. and we had to pay
her father not to make any trouble"
! Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Anything peculiar about these peo-
pie that have just moved into the
house next door to you, Mrs. Cross
way?" "No; there's nothing unusual
| about them. They've borrowed STEP
ladder and a tack-hammer, and turn
ed their children loose in oar back
yard. Chicago Tribune.