davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1907-06-07
CRACk.A-JACk
MORRISON. THE FAMOUS TRAP
SHOT sMAsHEs 90 OUT OF
100 BIRDS.

J.. L. d. Morrison, the famous trap
shot was in the city and shot with the
local club. Mr.. Morrison gave an
excellent exhibition in trap shooting,
his score being ninety-eight out OF a
possible one hundred. Mr.. Morrison
was accompanied by Mr.. Hale Of
Grand Forks and they are visiting
different portions Of the state In the
interest Of the U. M. C. Co. II
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1907-06-07

Have ron seen the modern cooking
wonder at the q. w. Wolbsrt Hard
ware Cos storef Come in any day
this week.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1907-06-07
KICKED
BILLY cuMMlsss HAS HIS FACE
BADLY GUT BY A HoRsE8
HooE.

Billy Cummins. the young son 81
Theodore Cummins, was kicked ii the
face by q horse Tuesday afternoon.
The young man Is doing nicely, there
being no bones broken. He, however
sustained 4 severe cut on his face
and It will be some time before be
fully RECEIVERS.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1907-06-07

Don't tail TO read carefully the q.
w. Wolbert Hardware Cos advertise
ment Id this paper.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1907-06-07

Womcn ssy shsre enothin9 70 equal EInK'S
JAP RCBE t&sanepAre1sts 0ap for WASHING
THE HAIR All drusefEsN snd grocsrs sell Il.
The Coeur d'Alene press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1906-1907, 1907-02-18

st. Petersburg Is III line with this pol
cy. The new ambassador has special
qualifications for representing the
United States at the court Of the car.
Born in Philadelphia in 1884 and q
graduate Of Harvard university and
the Columbia Law school, he has made
a special study Of diplomacy and Of
international law. On leaving CoIum-
bta In 1901 he went 30 Paris and pur.
sued his diplomatic studies at the
CoIlegs de France. which gave him q
certif cate Of proficiency in the Russian
language. His first diplomatic service
was as secretary to the American Iega-
dcn IN Turkey. post he occupied
from 1893 to 1900, In 1901 he became
secretary to the Russian embassy and
while acting as charge d'affaires in the
absence Of Ambassador Mccormick
performed important duties i'm connec-
ton with the presentation Of me peti-
ton Of the American Jews regarding
the KishlneR Outrages shortly after
ward he was appointed consul general
70 Egypt and In 1905 waa made min
ister TO Roumania.
The Coeur d'Alene press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1906-1907, 1907-02-18

soldiers IN the background have pipes
In their mouths.
Those who are on the lookout Cor
them win hnd many amusing bIunders
IN the daily papers and In periodicals
Of all kinds. It was but the other day
that the writer saw Miss Fanny Cros-
by referred to In q religious paper as
the author Of 30 many blind poems"
And it was a great metropolitan daily
that one morning gave its rsaders the
following Information regarding the
wrecking Of ship the night before:
"The captain swan ashore and enc
ceeded in saving the life OF his wife.
She was insured In the Northern Ma
rine Insurance company and carried 4
cargo Of cement"
Equally amusing IS an instance Of
unconscious humor was the statement
made by another paper regarding the
capsizing of boat at sea. 1t said that
"but one life was lost, and thst was
found afterward."
He must be sadly deficient in humor
who does not find himself amused by a
sign Ike the following seen In the win
dow Of q shoemaker: ANY respectable
man, woman or child can have Q at In
this shop" 1t was an enterprssing fur
rier who placed a card In his widow
stating that for the benefit OF the Ia
dies he would make 'muffs, boas, etc,
out Of their own skins"
A prolific source OF amusement to
manuscript readers is the Surprising
way in which aspirants for literary
honor and glory often put things"
We find one young woman saying Of
her heroine: "The countess fell back in
q deadly swoon. When she revived her
spirit had fed"
Another young writer places her her
ONE In a very perilous situation and
then says Of her, Her lips quivered;
her cheeks grew pale; her breath came
in short pants"
A third writer gives this amusing
description Of the appearance Of some
one she referred to as ''the bell of
the ball." "She was clad in some soft,
:linging, feecy, vapory stun Of purest
white that gave the appearance Of a
bit of detached cloud floating in the
sky. She wore no ornament with the
exception of several bits Of rare brio
a-brac gathered in a foreign cline"
A charming bit of purely unconscious
humor was that noticed by some Wis
itors to a great English coal mine. At
the mouth Of the great central SHAFT
hundreds of feet deep was a placard
bearing these words:
"Please do not tumble down the
shaft. Detroit Free Press.
The Coeur d'Alene press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1906-1907, 1907-02-18
RIOUs, YET FUNNY
luscious HuMoR THAT HELPS
TO PUT SPICE IN LIFE.


Examples of Delighteul IneOn-
titles In Speaking, Writing and
ntinE That Appeal Strongly 70
sense of the Ridiculous.
thing has added more to the merrl.
of the world than the uninten
i, unconscious humor Of writer's.
C speakers and, In fact, ali classes
conditions Of men and women.
there is none SO delightful. 1t far
DIS in mirth provoking quality the
blooded humor Of the professional
Americans are fun loving peO-
md we must and will have our
Some one has said with GER
ruth: with all our vanity, ener-
d unrest, we are not a dull, cheer
eople. Sour faced fellows, yellow
hyspeptic, are to be met with in
ars and on our streets, but they
lot the type Of the American, for
as ready for a laugh as for
hlation, as fond Of a joke as an
/"
d the joke is all the more enjoy
when 1t is spontaneous. The great
be stress and strain Of life the
ter the need and demand for hu-
and no one deprecates the value
umor excepting those who have
Of this good gift to their portion.
inset" Cox, one Of the wittiest men
5 day, says in his book, why We
ID I" eliminate from the litera-
and conduct of any one people the
Ring and the amused faculty, and
produce a sterility as dull and I'M
listing as the cinders and ashes of
Olcanic fields Of Iceland. But In
the amusing element within
kperience and history Of mankind,
DO description Of luxuriance, with
olive, nectarine and orange, such
likes the wales Of Portugal a peren-
smile, is adequate to emphasize the
asst"
could not well instance a more
ling blunder than that in a paint
ef the BLESSED Virgin" In an old
eh in Spain. In this painting the
b is represented as sitting on a
elvet sofa fondllng a cat with one
while with the other she Is pour
Dffee from a silver coffeepot.
Is is as amusing as a painting in
ban church representing the sacri-
of Isaac by Abraham. In this
ting Abraham is about to dis
ge a huge pistol at Isaac when an
y descends aud pours a pitcher OF
r on the pan of the pistol, Thereby
ng Isaac.
e writer once saw a crude painting
ling Herod with a pair Of specta-
painted on his nose. There IN
old painting Of st. Peter denying
and several of the Roman
The Coeur d'Alene press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1906-1907, 1907-02-18
JOHN ". RIDDLE.

MAaAater to Rounaaaia, ugko Gae~
Seen % 81. Petersburg.
The selection Of John w. Riddle nov
minister TO Roumanla and servia, b
spcceed George Yon L. Meyer as an.
bsssadoF a ST Petersburg d condsd er.
ed 70 have special slgntncanca. II Z
believed mat the ddmfnistration 10.
sires 70 have American diplomacy ii
European capitals accompanied hy lea
ostentaficn and that the selection 81
NJ. Riddle for head Of the embassy 81
The Coeur d'Alene press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1906-1907, 1907-02-18

Some of these big magazine editors
are humorous at times. In response
to this inquiry from an amateur,
what does poetry bring in New
York;" one of them replied:
I'VE have no regular prices. but II
you ship 1t in crates or carloads we
believe that you can realize IN cents
pound for it."
The Coeur d'Alene press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1906-1907, 1907-02-18

Our rolled barley is from selected
grain; washed, steamed and rolled.
The best that can be had. VIM Barr.
Chainey Co.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-03-28
'-Wha. Shs Missed.

| was not married long before dis
covered that my wife was blessed with
the ordinary amount Of woman's curl.
osIty. One day while ! was out she
embraced the opportunity TO pick the
lock OF my trunk do not know what
she expected 10 fnd. but think she
must have been disappointed to dis.
cover that II was full OF nothing but
biscuits. When ! came home In tho
evening she said. George. what Is the
meaning OF all those biscuits that !
saw IN your trunk today"
I replied: well. we're married now.
80 I may as well tell you the truth.
When we were conrting. whenever !
told you lic which was sometimes
necessary. made mental note OF It.
And when went home would throw
n biscuit into my trunk-one biscuit
per lie II during the day or during
the evening told you half dozen
lies. ! threw In half dozen biscuits.
10 these biscuits simply represent the
number OF lies I have told you during
our courtnhip."
She said: well. my goodness! II |
had only had your forethought aud put
aside little bit Of cheese for every
one that told you. We should have
had enough biscuits and cheese TO last
IN for life"..- London Express.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-03-28

For the past year tho war department
has been annoyed by tho growing traf-
nc In army uniforms and efforts are
now being put forth to eii this prac-
tico which ~ costing the government
not only large sums OF money, but IL
bringing the uniform into bad ropute.
After these uniforms are sold by the
men II Ia impossible 10 trace them and
and oviI deeds committed by tho wear
cra are naturally charged up against
Uncle Sans soldiers.
Last week advices were received
from Atlanta that four pawnshops OF
that city had been raided by a military
detachment under an army officer from
Fort Mcpherson A number OF gar
monts. including over-coats. which had
been pawned by newly enlisted men.
were seized ana tho military authors
tios In Atlanta, whore tho headduar.
tors OF tho department Of the Gulf are
In communication with the DEPART
mont OF Justice with Wow To-
the prosecution Of these pawnshop
owners. sDealcrs In such goods
are liable 10 be heavily Hned or
dcr he " not permitted by law TO iis-
pose OF II In this way while no is I'M
the service. II has been held taat
whiIo In the service the government
has Joint ownership in tho clothing.
In this way the government expects 10
bc able 10 break up the business and
the attempt will bc made 1T Atlanta
TO mako an example Of tho men VINO
have accepted military clothing and
issued loans upon II.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-03-28
A BALLET MASTER AT WORK
Striking illustration Of q Man Taking
Himself Seriously.

Striking Illustration Of Man Taking
Himself Seriously.
Al an illustration OF q man and an
artist" taking himself seriously 1t
would be difficult to find anything
more striking than ballet master at
work. Since the rooms where the bal
let rehearsals are held are usually kept
particularly warm lie goes In for neg
ligee effect In bis garments that is en-
tirely out Of keeping with the serious
ness Of his air.
Gravity In the dominating note Of the
ballet masters personality. The weight
Of many worlds seems to be resting on
his erect figure as he stands In the
center Of the group Of corypbees and
obviously ponders over the steps he is
about TO instruct them In. Presently
he begins to move, always In the same
absorbed manner, through series OF
steps and plrouettes, and then be ap-
parently makes up his mind be has
put together movement that will be-
nay. must be perfectly satisfactory n
any audience.
When he begins the actual work OF
showing the girls" what he wishes
them to do. this gravity never drops
from bis bearing. Standing In the cen
ter Of the group, he moves lightly
through the figure he has set for them
sto follow, watching to see II they have
caught the idea. His seriousness does
not prevent him from being graceful
nor Interested. and II be sees that any
one OF the coryphees Is trife slow il
catching the steps Of the dance he
takes her hands and goes through the
steps with her. To watch him train
them In the proper manner Of throw.
Ing kiss to some imaginary person Is
revelation in the way of human
grace.
The ballet girls themselves are not
an uninterestlng spectacle-tbat Is, in
the way they work at the rehearsal.
The older ones seem to have knack
Of keeping out Of the range Of the
masters eyes and OF being able there
by to loaf on him. They make some
mechanical motions to keep the line
going but they do not exert them
selves In any OF the more intricate
steps while his back Is turned. II Is
the young girls who are keenly alive
to what the master Is trying to show
them, and without the interest they
exhibit one might well wonder how
these rehearsals would ever progress
at all.-New York Press.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-03-28
Withdrawal Of Government Does
not Effect Stock Market.
RAILROAD BONDS YET SOUND
Order Of cortsIyou That Treasury
Should Not Accept RssIroad Bonds
Condemned BY Bsnksrs--RaiIrosds
Not Seeking Loans and Unaffected.

CHICAGO. March 27.--secretary
cortclyou's action In resembling his
order against the acceptance by the
Treasury OF railroad bonds as secu-
~ from banks. did not have marked
effect on the value OF stocks according
10 opinions expressed by the railroad
men and bankers yesterday. These
stocks. according 10 their statements
are sound as earning securities and 80
recognized both at home and abroad,
despite any attitude OF the treasury.
From my standpoint as an opera
ting official I do not see that the atti-
iude Of the treasury will make any
fundamental difference" said Daniel
willard. vice. president OF the Bur-
lIngton road.
II do not think that Cortelyou's ac-
tion has had any marked effect upon
the inability OF the railroads TO secure
loans as reported, The railroads have
not been negotiating for large sums
because they have not wished to. Un-
der the conditions existing at present
the outlook is uncertain and politics
OF economy have been generally adop-
ted. Such general action tending to
curtail earnings is being contemplated
against the railroads that naturally
lean to great undertakings are being
entered into"
President Samuel FELTON, Of the
Chicago and Alton. also asserted that
railroads are not considering the pla-
cling Of large loans owing TO the un-
settled conditions. Railroads are not
In the markets for large loans" he
said. 'rhe increase in wages. the reg
uiating laws. and like matters have
caused a policy Of economy.
Bankers were inclined TO think Cor
,elyou's action would have more ef-
feet than railroad men would admit
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-03-28
EPIDEMIC OF GRIP"
Amusing Chorus Of Coughs and snsex-
ing in Theaters and churehes.A
Splendid Home Remedy.

There is at present startling epi-
denic Of the old-time la Grippe" or
the Grip" as 1t most generally called.
This is brought about by the re-
cent unusually quick changes in the
atmosphere and the prevailing mois-
ture. 1t behooves everyone to be ex-
ceedingly careful not to expose them
selves to drafts and most important
Is, not to get wet feet. In this mat
ter of clothing. much depends on
what q person Is accustomed to. SO
mucn for the well one, but to the
affiicted we can not emphasize too
strongly the Importance Of treatment.
It is simple thing to cure IL taken
in time but IL allowed to linger fire.
quently leads into pneumonia and
lastly consumption. A we'll known
physician In speaking of the matter
states that there are three things to
do promptly: Stimulate the circula-
tion: heal the enfiamed mucous
membranes and have bowel action to
take away poisons, To accomplish
these all at once he gives the prescrip-
tion that was in general use when the
Grip was raging in the East. 1t is
as follows: Two ounces of glycerine;i
half ounce Concentrated oil of pine;
half pint of good whiskey (spirits
frumenti) Shake thoroughly and take
in tablespoon doses every four hours"
These ingredients can be procured
at any drug store. The Concentrated
oil of pine Is the new form of pine
product which is great improvement
over the old kinds which dissolved
very imperfectly. It does not come in
bulk, but Is put up for dispensing in
half-ounce vials, each enclosed In a
screw top box which protects the oil
from atmospheric changes. It should
be borne In mind that there are patent
medicines using similar name pat out
by chemical Arms but those can be
avoided by making sure you get the
real article the Concentrated" oil of
pine. 1t is condensed and concentrated
so that one drop contains more Of the
active principles Of pine than triple
the volume OF the old style pine oils
and extracts.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-03-28
Mrs. Roosevelt and Queen Alex.
andra viii Make EmbIums.
SOLDIERS SELL UNIFORMS
Raid on pawnshops In Atlanta Results
In Seizure Of Number OF Uniforms
oovsrnmsst VIII Probably Pross.
cute Dealers.

WASHINGTON. March 27.--Mrs.
Roosevelt ana Queen Alexandra will
mako ailkcn nags Of their respective
countries and present them TO the ma.
val academy al Annapolis where they
viii be used for tho drapins Of Q small
bust Of Admiral Nelson, tho hero OF
Trafalgar,
This bust was presented TO the AM
: crican naval school by King Edward
II IL OF solid copper procured from tho
guns Of the Victory and stands about
eleven inches high on six inch base
OF oak from tho wood work OF tho ship
The front Of tho base In polished. but
the rest OF Il shows the screw holes
and battle scars. On this buse there
is Il lengthy inscription intended 10
cement the bonds OF friendship be-
tween the two countries and between
sailors OF England and America. In
which Presidents Lincoln. Garfield and
Mckinley are euiogized with Admiral
Nelson.
Arrangements Cor tho making Of
theee two fiags have been concluded by
Rev. Edward II. Matthews. formerly n
chaplain In the British navy. In an
interview with Mrs. Roosevelt she
promised Captain Matthews not only
that sao would provide the flag with
her own hands but that she would 20
20 Annapolis and present II TO the
middies. Mrs. Bryce, wife OF tho
British Ambassador. win DO the sarns
thing on behalf OF the Queen. Mr..
Roosevelt sent personal message Of
greeting to King Edward. The Chap
lain had with him Victory medal
which was presented 10 one OF the boys
OF the President. Archie having been
the victim OF diphtheria his case ap-
pealed 10 the British chaplain and tho
medal fell to aim,
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-03-28

1T ID not wise move" said David r..
Morgan, Of the National city Bank,
"F'iryt-class bonds ought to be good
enough for the government as they
are good enough for everybody else.
l do not know, however, that 1t makes
a material difference. The lack Of
confidence from which seems to have
sprung was not warranted. Stocks
were too high. but there was no occa-
sion for the bottom dropping out Of
them
Arizona republican., 1907-11-28

having just stepped out of the bath tub applies to the dog contingent of the show.
 The performance consisted of pony parade. going through all the evolu
 tions of military drill without any prompting; tricks by both ponies and dogs done with marvellous rapidity and without noticeable hitch or hesita- ticn. There were also a monkey fire brigade trained elephants. the laugh able act of mule and a negro clown. and very good acrobats thrown in for variety. For obedience and prompti- tadc of service the dumb animal when taught what is desired of him, knows few equals among even the human race. The children themselves, and older ones too. might gain lesson from this. The Shetland ponies of the show created many cXclamations of wonder. many chs and ahs, and ain't- Le- ust-too-sweets, and other express sIons of ecstatic delight. particularly from the ladies and little ones in the audience.
 Countess NJ. Iavina Magri. better . known perhaps. to most perple as Mrs. General Tom Thumb. her husband. Count Primo Magri and Baron Ernesto Magri. the small people of the Gentry
 Bros. show. while here yesterday re- newed many acquaintances. The coiintess has been before the public SO long. 49 years. that in that time she has been met by thousands of people many times. There are some here who knew her when she lived in Michigan. s,, E.
 We are all exceedingly we'll said the little lady yesterday. Travel agrees with Us. l was 66 years of age last october. We are going from this seasons engagement. which will end shortly. to Los Angeles and into Vau- deville. We like that better, there is more privacy in that life. something more refined than the daily associa- tions in the average tent shows. I do not know as to next years engage ments. but we like the public and en- joy meeting people who are always nice to us. wherever we go. Today. some kind lady of Phoenix gave me a large beautiful rose bouquet. These little tokens are appreciated. Though We are small. we live much as other people live, have the same enjoyments. admire the same things in life. Thurs, day. when we reach Tucson. We want tC go to church for Thanksgiving ser vice. I always go to church every chance I get. That you see, keeps us from getting too worldly. who are so much before the world in general" The count and wife and the baron were yesterday driven about the icity, talk ing in the principal sights.
 Most people who witnessed the per formance will wonder how it IS possi-