New-York tribune., 1907-07-22
" DOLPHIN" NEAR-ACT0R.
QUIGLEY CAST FOR HERO.
Deserted Battery for Glare
of FO0tigkts.

Of FootFghtS.
Some mischief maker confded to Honest Bill
Qugley. the Battery boatman that his protege
the Battery Dolphin" was trying TO induce his
wife, Lizzie, to 80 into vaudeville with him. and
had already arranged for their appearance at try
out performance on amateur night In d Brooklyn
variety theatre. QUigley paid little attention 70
the informant, telling him to go way back and sit
down." hut his suspicious were aroused, however,
when he entered the Ship News ONCE yesterday
and found desk ''phony' contract for a
twenty weeks engagement signed by the Dolphin
and a disrepUtable theatrical agent.
Qugley read the contract carefully and his
trained eye caught several clauses that meant alb
solute ruin for the Dolphin" and the woman he
took only two weeks ago TO love. honor and ooey.
The boatman's spirits dropped. " Wouid the Dol
phin' ever get any sense, or would he need
keeper for the rest Of his natural life? Bill
thought the recent marriage would put an end TO
all his foolish whlns. but now within fortnight
the Dolphin plunging headlong into tna
rapid and uncertain tragedy Of vaudeville career.
The Dolphin" had been over to the lunch
wagon getting his three siukers' and cup OF
'bilge water He remembered that he had LETT the
contract on the desk IN the Ship News Office, and,
with part of his luncheon bulging MS cheeks. he
hurried back to conceal Il before Ouigley arrived
The boatTnan heard the door slam as the Dol
phin" entered, and, with the rapidity OF a python
striking at its prey, he put the contract where he
had found It and pretended 10 look at tide table
that hung over SOuets desk. The "Dophln's eye
fell upon the vaudeville contract and his heart
leaped for joy. QugIey had not II, he thought
and, II he could get it out Of the way unnotced.
Hello, Bill" said the Dolphin" leaping UP
the desk and sitting squarey on the contract
What time did you get arOund?"
Just got here" said bill" walking over 70 the
cooler to take drink The Dolphin" gave sigh
Of relief, and. when he Bills back turned,
he gently slipped the contract from It's hiding place
The bOatrnan picked up q looking glass that hung
above the cooler and held II closely 20 his face.
In the hope Of diverting "BiWs" attention the
Dolphin" remarked
What you doin'. Bu2 Lookln' sor a handsome
Inan?"
NO" said the boatrnan lowering the glass with
his right hand and catching with his left the con-
tract the Dolphin was trying to sneak Into his
pocket. Not at all I'm hOldin' the mirror up to
nature and showing Up deceitfu guys that try 20
bunCo folks what's been good 70 EN- saw your
little trick In the looking glass don't like your
way OF dealin' with me Dolphin You ought TO
be the level with three pe-soEs-yoUr wife, your
doctor and the boatman that's tried TO help you
make man Of yourself SO you're goin to be a
hamfatter, are you and you plan 10 make g
dizzy acterIue out OF LiEzy7'
"Surest thing you know, Bill" replied the Dol
phin" blushing from brow 10 finger tips. An I'll
tell you me reasons II you want 10 know en-
There's excuse n the world you can offer
TO for being tie walker, much less 70 the
people who VIII rotten egg you the first night you
appear" said Honest Bill"
Somewhat chagrined. but none the less determined
to explala himself. the Dolphin" continued:
IN the erst place, I'm going into the business
because there's plenty Of good nazuua in Il; fifty
bucks q week for ueself and wife and board
and lOdg1n ChuCked z. the second place, L EOJ
voice that Soulet says VIII make me infamous
on the operanuo pIanks and some stage presents
what's good any leadiu' man on Broadway.
In the third place I certainly can pound out great
ragtme the plano, and that's ten-tou-t7s OF
the fgLt IN ne favor. IN exclusion. Lizzie wants 4
change OF sunshine ana there's no place 70 pick
You're clean dippy,'' said "Bm," looking at the
contract and smiling scornfully. TIL give you two
tust two nights to stand the rotten business.
What are you going 10 be--ths wabb!ing mermaid.
go you can DO your trick behind net? was IN
the tragedy perfession once rlese!I, when was
nineteen ana dippy. like you are now and IN
going 10 tell you few things.
The hamfatters IS a wOrEe Earue than being
doctor Say you get ATTY bucks week and you
work for twenty-five weeks II costs you every
con, OF IL 70 travel and keep iHa IN We, and YOU
must remember that there's fftytvo weeks IN the
year During the other twenty-seven you DO the
merry march along the Rialto glad enough 20 DO
dummy IN L living picture show for three squares
q day"
not as bad as that Bill" Interposed the Dol
phln" You want TO dIsparage me-"
7 want to save you from being a chump for the
rest Of your days. Go up on Broadway and meet
tragedy tie sIRer. Listen 20 him He viii tell
you what q swell king he was in Hamlet; how
he walked home from Detroit, ana how much OF
his big salary he didn't get The whole trouble
with them haufatter felers IS this: They are
kings and uiluOnares 1T night IN the play, but
they forget TO wake Up from tho pipe the next
mornn' until their stomechs begin 70 feel Ike
breakfast and they haven't the price. They ain
none OF 'em what knows anything south OF l+th
street and four out Of fifty couldn't teu You the
name Of the Dock Commissioner"
Seeing the Dolphin" was SUI bent going on
the circuit 'BiI' called him and read the
following clauses from the contract h1 had signed
with Ike" NTeverstein, the vaudeville agent: In
consideration of the OF 500 paid by the party
Of the second part the party Of tho first part the
said party Of the second part with song and dance
sketch is booked for twenty weeks on the Oska-
lusa circuit provided no IS satisfactory 20 the
management Party OF the second part agrees 10
pay all his railroad expenses and hotel bills
and give 70 said party the part his first four
weeks salary, IN addition % tho sum Of 800 al
ready paid. Party OF the second part releases the
said party Of the part from any liability what
soever."
and you signed that lemon?" was Quisley's only
comment.
The Dolphin" pleading guilty Erasped the boat
mans hand, saying: It's all off, Bill I'll
chuck it."
Sure. Nike" said Quigley. smiling triumphanty,
''and hereafter consult your Uncle Dudley before
you sign any more contracts"