davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1907-03-07
Where She Would Be.

This is what happened the woman
began, Il asked the janitor to take up
the rainy day carpet in the hall after
O'clock and put down the clean one.
was going to have company. He said
he wouldn't. He intimated that the
carpet was plainly good enough for
any company | might have. l at once
telephoned in his presence to the own
er of the house, telling him what the
janitOr had said, and asked him to re-
quest him to put down the clean car
pet.
up to the present time, which ID
about time for my company to begin
to arrive, the owner has not been
heard from. Now, Ii he goes back on
me how will 1t be with me, think you,
from now on In this house,"
''You can't always tell from where
yon are sitting the girl replied, 'but
1t is my impression that you will be In
the consomme. New York Press.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1907-03-07
Wall Meant. But

The puzzle department of London
Truth recently had a competition on
examples Of unintentionally funny
paragraphs. Here are few Of the
specimens sent in: I'VE regret to an
nounce the death at Cairo of Sir A. b.
Smith. his London physician having
recommended warmer climate" In
discussion on the dress of the clergy
noncOnformist minister declared.
AS for me, will wear no clothes to
distinguish me from my fellow men,
This came under the I'm Memoriam'
column: "In loving memory of -, be-
loved wife of -, who died -. This
Is inserted by her sorrowed daughters.
What Is home without mother
Peace, perfect peace" "For sale, a
handsome st. Bernard puppy; six
months old; clean and healthy; will
eat anything; very fond Of children.
Apply X. Office OF this paper" Seen
In a newspaper cutting some years ago.
The following newspaper advertise
ment appeared In morning newspa-
per: Wanted. gentleman to under
take the sale of patent medicine. The
advertiser guarantees that it will he
profitable to the undertaken"
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1907-03-07
A. Others Saw Him.

The artist possessed strange talent.
1t was to depict face 40 it will look
after the years have gone by and made
It old. At dinner with him sat man,
old enough, in all conscience, and I'M
beautiful. The artist at once busted
himself with drawing a sketch Of him
which SO exaggerated his age and ugli-
ness that the lip Of the old man trem-
bled at the sight of 1t, and tear rose
to his eye. A woman who sat at the
same table took pencil and paper and
began to draw, not the old man, but
the artist. who, though young was
quite as unbeautiful. She fashioned
the uneven line OF his profile. the
small, crooked nose. the unsta BILE chin
the high, bald forehead, the. fringe OF
hair around the edge OF the badness
the neck. the collar, and handed 1t to
him.
The likeness Is perfect" cried the
others. we didn't know you could
draw. When did you learn and how 2
II cant remember when learned OF
how. / have drawn 80 long said she
"but," &c she saw the chagrfn OF the
artist, Il seem to have been educated
In art for the triumph Of this mo-
nasnt. New York Press.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1907-03-07
A Harsm Dinner,

ut was my first hsrem dinner" said
the lady missionary I've sat on the
floor Mt round table foot high.
Servants eased us down into our seats
and lifted us up again after the meal
was over. ! asked the blessing. Each
course was served in one great dish,
and we helped ourselves with our lin.
gers--the first two fingers of the right
hand. Since was their guest, the
cadi's wives continually selected It'd
bits and pressed them daintily be-
tween my lips with finger and thumb.
To refuse would have been rude.
gulped the tidbits down The dish
remember was lamb roasted whole
Inside the lamb was a turkey, inside
the turkey was chicken. inside the
chicken was pigeon. inside the pigeon
was quail, and inside the quail was a
becafic. The becafic tastes like reed
bird. 1t Ia SO small you swallow It.
head, bones and all, In one mouthful."
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1907-03-07
Got He Reward.

II saw q young fellow who thought
he'd be funny get the worst Of it. He
boarded the car right behind q very
pretty girl whom. 1t was plain to see.
he did not know. When went for
his fare. he gave me dime. For that
young lady, too he said, pointing at
the girl, two seats ahead. When I
went along up the car, the girl held
out nickel. I told her her fare had
been paid.
BY whomr she demanded. point
ed the young man out. He was smil-
ing In a siekly manner.
You've made mistake the girl
said to me, loud enough for him to
hear; he meant to pay for this colored
woman
"She dropped the five cent piece In
my hand and pointed at an old negro
woman ahead. saw how the girl had
got 1t on the young man, SO when the
negro woman offered her fare l told
her 1t had been paid by him. The
young fellow decided things were get
ting too warm for him on that car, so
he got OF at the next corner. As he
left the car the negro woman said,
Much obliged, sab"
you ought to have seen the girl
laugh. Denver Post.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1907-03-07
FRUGAL Frenchmen.

1t Is estimated that the peasants Of
the south of France spend on food for
a family OF five an average Of two
pence a day For breakfast there IL
bread. with preparation of salt fish
to spread on it: for dinner, stock Ash
or vegetable soup or salad. and for
supper lentils. beans or other vegeta-
bles. Water Is the chief drink, with a
very thin wine once IN awhile. Rab.
bit Is occasionally used as q favor In
a vegetable stew, but that Is luxury.
Beef or mutton Is seldom tasted. Most
OF them dress poorly. But this economy
il not for nothing. Many Of them have
banking accounts and in the matter Of
hard cash are we'll enough OF --London
Saturday Review.
Snakes have the singular property
OF being able to elevate the head and
remain without the slightest move.
hent for many minutes at a time.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1907-03-07
To Fish From a Motor Car SLEIGH

Three years ago Captain Halgrcn Of
Milwaukee conceived the idea of a
sleigh rGn by an engine and propelled
b., spiked wheel which caught In the
Ice. He built several sleighs, but did
not succeed IN getting one that oper-
ated satisfactorily. This season he
took his sleigh TO gas engine works
and had two horsepower gasoline en-
CINE built, with pair Of friction
clutches to operate on the same plan
as an automobile. with a spiked wheel
which was fitted SO that 1t would rise
or fall when going over rough ice Or
snow. The sleigh IL Il common fisher
mans sleigh. says the Milwaukee Sem
tinel. with the engine attachment, but
It has been run at speed ranging
from ten to fifteen miles an hour with
perfect ease. The sleigh will be used
for fishing at Peshtigo Harbor. and the
captain expects to De able to make the
distance between Milwaukee and Pesh-
tfgo Harbor In about one-fourth of the
time taken by the old sail sleigfls un-
der the best Of conditions.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1907-03-07
l.oxara, Ink.

There are various kinds of invisible
inks, but here is a method OF making
ink which can be wiped of sheet OF
paper with pocket handkerchief with
out leaving trace: Dissolve some
starch In water until 1t is as thick as
cream. Then add to the starch a few
drops Of tincture of iodine, which will
turn the starch to dark red color.
Now take pen and write with this
prepared ink upon a sheet OF note pa
per. The ink will dry right away, aft.
er which you may erase the whole of
your letter by simply wiping the sheet
with pocket handkerchief. 1t will
disappear as easily as chalk will from
an ordinary school blackboard when q
rubber is used upon it.-London Tele'
graph.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1907-03-07
A COOKING Episode.

The people who know 1t all are so
tiresome that the verdant simplicity
Of the novice In everyday affairs Is
absolutely refreshing. Here is an in
cident about young woman who was
making her first essay at housekeep-
ing. A friend had sent her by mail q
recipe for some new kind Of bread,
giving her directions to take portion
OF the dough at time aud make 1t
into the requisite form for baking.
This seemed explicit enough, but what
was the surprise Of the friend to re-
ceive telegram from the young house
keeper to this effect: what shall do
with the rest OF the dough? Please
answer"
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1907-03-07
SAVED HER SONS LIFE.

The happiest mother in the little
town Of Ava, NO.. is Mrs. s. Rupee.
She writes: Zone year ago my son
was down with such serious lung tron-
BILE that our physician was unable to
help him; when, by our druggists adj
vice began giving him Dr. King
New Discovery. and soon noticed i'm
provement. l kept this treatment up
for few weeks when he was perfect
" well. He has worked steadily since
at carpenter work. DIR. Kings New
Discovery saved his life." Guaranteed
best cough and cold cure by Union
Drug CO., druggists. soc and 81. Trial
bottle free.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1907-03-07
Shooter. From Their cradl.s.

Shooters From Their Cradlss.
The best shots In the world are the
Kentucky mountaineers. The west has
nothing to compare with them. When
1t comes to pulling gum quickly and
shooting accurately the most expert of
frontier bad men would appear slow
and clumsy by the side OF many Of
these mountain outlaws. They learn
to shoot almost as soon as they grad
uate from the cradle. Many of their
sports relate to shooting. The pro-
prietor of the crossroads store has q
shooting gallery In his blishment,
where In other localities you might
nnd slot machine In one store /
saw wheel about half the size Of q
spinning wheel with pieces Of card
board containing numbers on the DIFF
ferent spokes. The charge was mi
pence" 40 cents a shot, and the par
ticipant picked his number. The prizes
ranged ell the way from box OF car
tridges to bag OF cornmeal or q side
OF SOW bosom" according to the size
OF the piece of cardboard selected.
The wheel was given swift whirl by
the storekeeper; but. judging from the
shooting saw, l could not find out
wherein he derived any profit from the
c0ntrivance.-C. +. Revere Ia Outing
Magazine.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1907-03-07
Bird Prisoners.

A remarkable mode of Incarceration
IL practiced by the hornbi!ls. birds
with immense bills and horny crests
which inhabit southern Asia, the Ma.
layan islands and central and southern
Africa. In most If not all species the
brOOding female is walled up in hol-
low tree and fed by her mate. She re-
mains confined In her prison until the
eggs are Matched aud in some species
until the young birds are able to fly.
Meanwhile the mother has become
temporarily incapable of fight. as she
has molted or at least shed all her
wing feathers during her captivity
But the male Is indefatigable in pro-
viding for his family and Is said to
work SO hard that he is skeleton at
the end Of the brooding season
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1907-03-07

Does coffee disagree with you ?
Probably it does! Then try DIR.
Shops Health Coffee. Health Cof-
fee" is clever combination of parch-
ed cereals and nuts. Not grain of
real coffee, remember, in DR.. Shops
Haelth Coffee, vet it's flavor and taste
matches closely old Java and Mocha
coffee. If your stomach, heart, or
kidneys can't stand coffee drinking.
try Health Coffee. 1t is wholesome,
nourishing and satisfying. It's nice
even for the youngest child. Sold by
Ringsrnd Mercantile Co.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1907-03-07
some Cat superstitions.

Napoleon Bonaparte showed a NOR.
bid horror OF cats. The night before
the hattie OF Waterloo black cat
passed near him. and at the sight the
great warrior was completely unnerved
He saw an omen of defeat Henry
I'll of France swooned whenever be
saw cat, and one of the Ferdinands
of Germany would tremble in his boots
Of harmless tabby got in the line OF
his vision. Among the Romans the
cat was symbol of liberty. The
Egyptians held the animal in venera-
ton under the name of Aelurils, a
deity with human body and a cats
head. Whoever killed cat. even by
accident, was put to death. Diana
assumed the form of a cat and ex.
cited the fury of the giants.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1907-03-07
ALL ABOUT A BOOK.

rrouht. In s4or. Far III. On. MIA
rhr... - a.. os ~. .u;.aa,
gym VI, n,aasa t.,a tha+ hnn, 81.
ne +,,,s at.,.
"what fors.
ga III. - 80 aa hare.
.p,anty of othar saats IN th,. osr
ara +hara not9,,
.yas cir h,t +h,s hannacs - y. III
.Instsov
fD.,,s
..xUn, -, +.,a +ha+ hoo, o,+ =, .,,,s
sat...
"Na IT,.
"ya, NIL, no+s.
.r iii o,,
.r .,,,,,,. 49, h,.A o.. !.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1907-03-07
Artifcial Flowers Trim Gowns.

One OF the newest and most desir.
able trimmings for an evening gowE
this season il artificial flowers. The
possibilities Of this decoration are end.
less for the reason that the flowers
lend themselves to lines suited both to
stont and slim figures. Put on in
pendant effect they lengthen one in
clined to being short. while a tall
women can afford to do what a short
one cannot and decidedly cut her
length by running the flowers across
4 feature Of this season is that small
flowers are little seen. Without ex-
ception they are large, and roses are
favorities. Plentiful use OF foliage
adds green to the general color scheme
New York Telegram.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1907-03-07
HOW TO REMAIN YOUNG

To continue young in health and
Donough, Ga, did. She says: ..Three
bottles of Electric Bitters cured me Of
chronic liver and stomach trouble,
complicated with such an unhealthy
condition of the blood that my skin
turned red as flannel. / am now prac-
tically 20 years younger than before
l took Electric Bitters. l can now do
all my work with ease and assist in
my husbands store" Guaranteed at
Union Drug Co.'S drug store. Price
soc.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1907-03-07
SERVED CooKLEss FOOD.
Novel New York Banquet That Re
CURED No Fire

quired No Fire.
One Of the most novel entertain-
ments OF the season was the "twenti-
eth century banquet of uncooked
foods given recently by Mrs Freder.
lex s. Goodwin for seventy of her
friends In the atelier Of her home in
New York city.
With decorations of tropical fruit
rejecting the various hues OF their re-
spective classes, and numerous cones OF
the Italian pignon, garlands of smilax
and flowers, the tables, illuminated
with numerous cleaning silver can
delabra presented most alluring pic
ture
Compared with the average banquet
board, the contrast was striking. Ar
ranged I'm a manner to please the most
aesthetic, each course inspired the de-
sire to partake, and the fear Of subse
quent torpor was completely routed.
Served In successive courses, the fol-
lowing menu was provided:
Oysters in Grape Fruit Shells.
Ripe Olives. Celery Hearts.
lnHTeQ crackers. sweet Butter.
Cream Of Pea
Unf1red Waters. Sweet Butter.
Sailed Almonds
Stuffed Tomatoes
Protoid Nuts. Pecan Meats
ouncooked Corn. Pineapple Sorbet.
Unfired Bread. Nut Butter.
Orange Baskets
Fruit Waters. Sweet Butter.
Cheese, Eggs.
Cherry Tarts.
Fresh Strawberry Ice Cream.
Fruit Cake.
Fruit Punch.
Mrs. Goodwin gave the banquet to
demonstrate to her friends how she re
gained her health through the use OF
uncooked foods.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1907-03-07
GIVEN TIP TO DIE.

b. Spiegel. 1904 n. Virginia ST., Ey-
ansyille, Ind, writes: For over five
years l was troubled with kidney and
bladder affections which caused ME
much pain and worry. lost flesh and
was all run down, and year ago had
to abandon work entirely. had three
of the best physicians who did me no
good, and was practically given mp
to die. Foley's Kidney Cure was rec
commended and the first bottle gave
me great relief, and after the second
bottle was entirely cured" Why not
let it help you? Pioneer Drug Co.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1907-03-07
CLERGYMAN ON DANCING.
c1nducive to Morality. Culture and
Spiritual Uplift, SAYS i Rector.

Publicly advocating dancing rs con-
duclve to morality. culture and spirit
ual uplift and as the solution of the
social Problem In the church. the Rev
Frederick Edwards. rector OF St
James Episcopal church, one OF the
wealthiest and most fashionable PAR
ishes In Milwaukee, Wis. Is urging
from his pulpit the establishment OF
classes in dancing for children and
young people as Il part OF the church
work, says w. B. Bullock. a Milwau-
kee correspondent OF the pittsburg
Dispatch. He also favors the opening
OF coffee room for young men, with
reading room facilities. billiard and
pool tables and freedom to smoke In
the parish house, this room to be open
TO all men every evening OF the week
An Industrial school along social set
tlement lines and gymnasium which
Is used by classes from nearby set
Element I'm a downtown congested dis.
trict have been opened, and It is Mr..
Edwards hope to utilize the entire ex-
pensively equipped parish house as a
social center for the neighborhood.
II consider dancing moral. Il beau
tiful and an elevating power for good, =
says the Rev. Mr.. Edwards, land
have had dancing classes In connection
with every church have had. Dane
ing provides satisfying expression for
the desire for pleasure, and Ii teaches
grace courtesy and an appreciation of
the right relation of the sexes The
response of the spirit to the influence
OF beauty comes as natural conse-
quence OF the rhythmic motion of the
entire body to music, and. properly
conducted. dancing cannot fail to slim
ulate the love for the beautiful which
IL now well developed as result OF
80 many theaters. so many fine pic
lures at reasonable prices and other
cultural agencies.
Il believe In teaching children to
dance. though ! do not dance step
myself. My people did not believe In
II. l consider the dancing class an In
valuable school Of manners. 1t Is far
more moral and elevating for young
boy to know how to approach his girl
friends properly. to ask them to dance
courteously, to join with them happily
In this innocent and stimulating pleas
ure. than 1t is for him to hang around
the doors, awkward, uninterested and
with nothing to do while adults are
dancing or to slide around the floor
awkwardly and indulge In ungainly
and profitless games which do not sat
isfy him or meet his needs
my first parish was In shoe town
In Massachusetts. and there proved
the value Of dancing as q means OF In
teresting young people and getting
them within the influence OF the
church. The establishment Of dancing
classes solved the entire social prob
lem Of the church, which had to con-
slider the needs OF number OF EN-
ployees In the shoe factories. The
young men We're awkward, bashful
aud difficult to entertain until they be.
gan to learn to dance At Maiden,
Mass. my charge Just preceding my
present one, we had a large dancing
club In the church"
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1907-03-07

''Preventics" will promptly check II
cold or the grippe when taken early OF
at the 'sneeze stage" Preventics euro
seated colds as well. Preventics are
little candy cold cure tablets, and DIR.
Shoop. Racine. Wis. will gladly mail
YOU samples and a book OH Colds free,
II you will write him. The samples
prove their merit Check early Colds
with Preventics and stop pneumonia.
Sold in sc and 25c boxes by Pioneer
Drug Co.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1907-03-07

For Catarrh, let me send you free.
just to prove merit, trial size box Of
DR.. Shops Catarrh Remedy. 1t is
a snow white. creamy, healing anti
septic balm that gives instant relief to
Catarrh of the nose and throat. Make
the free test and see. Address DR..
Shoop, Racine, Wis. Large jars soc.
Sold by Pioneer Drug Co.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1907-03-07
NOTICE TO OUR CUSTOMERS,

We are pleased to announce that Fo-
ley's Honey of Tar for coughs, colds
and lung troubles is not affected by
the National Pure Food and Drug law
as it contains no opiates or other harm
full drugs, and we recommend it as a
safe remedy for children and adults
Pioneer Drug Co.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1907-03-07
WORKED LIKE A CHARM.

Mr.. u. n. Walker. editor of that
spicy journal, the Eenterprise, Louisa,
Va, says: Il ran nail in my foot
last ek>and Mt once applied Buck
lens Arnica Saive No Inflammation
followed: the salve simply healed the
wound Heals every sore. burn and
skin disease. Guaranteed at Union
Drug Co, druggists. 25c.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1907-03-07
FOUND AT LAST.

y. A. Harmon, Of Lizemore. West
Va. says: sat last have found the
perfect pill tlrlt never disappoints me:
AMI for the benefit of others afflicted
with torpid liver and chronic constipa-
ton. will say: take pr. Kings New
Life Pills. Guaranteed satisfactory.
25c at Union Drug Co., druggists.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1907-03-07
Fully ExpIajned. .

Student = Aren't there somewhere,
professor, cacti with hooklike thorns
protruding to catch the passerby ?
Professor ~ Yes. believe, there are
some varieties that are troubled with
curvature of their spines. ~ Chicago
News
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1907-03-07
Polite.

Robecchi asked friend to dinner
and then returned home furious. what
Is the natter said his wife.
Do not speak to ME. 1t Is shame!
always thought politeness produced
one In return, so l asked Dobelli 10
lunch"
And has he refused:"
Refused. l should think not. He
has accepted. Caricaturista.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1907-03-07

1t is related of the mother OF the
poet Goethe that she happened to re-
ceive an invitation to a party when
on her deathbed from some one who
did not know that she was ILL., She
thus replied to 1t: Mime. Goethe is sor-
ry that she cannot accept your invita-
ton. as she 10 engaged dying"
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1907-03-07

remedy, an Improvement on the laxa-
tives of former years, as it does not
grippe or nauseate and is pleasant to
take. 1t is guaranteed. Pioneer Drug
Co.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1907-03-07

Faster and faster the pace is set,
BY people Of action, vim and get,
SO il at the finish you would be.
Take HOLSTERS Rocky Mountain Tea
Pioneer Drug Co
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1907-03-07

Are you tired, tagged out. nervous.
sleepiess, feel mean? HOLSTERS Rocky
Mountain Tea strengthens the nerves,
aids digestion, brings refreshing sleep.
35 cents, Tea or Tablets. Pioneer
Drug Co.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1907-03-07
tn. Card Trick.

Signor Sfondrini went to call upon
Signora Veronielli and presented his
visiting card The servant soon re
turned and said:
THE signora is not at home"
HAS she gone out?'
Yes, sir
did you show her my card?"
'Of course. 1t was after receiving
1t that she said to say she was out
Scacciapensieri.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1907-03-07
por.d 10 Death.

The wife--I had call from Mar
celIe today. Her Husband suppose
she bored you to death, as usual, with
her stupid talk? Wife Yes. dear she
talked about you the whole time