Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-09
CONNOLLY'S UNPIRING EXPERIENCE.
By Clarence L. Cullen.

Tom Connolly the b. b. arbitrator, smiled
srimIy when he scanned Berryman's green
sheet cartoon in last Sundays Star hu-
morously depicting the deirious, ecstatic
10y of the fans when the umpire Is acct
dentally hit by pitched ball,
Right II Is in all respects save one he
said commenting upon the cartoon The
picture portrays the ump. as curling up IN
a demonstration of misery under the I'M
pact of the ball-that part of 1t having
been necessary, of course, in order to
make the cartoon completely ineligible
Now, the umpires of today don't afford the
game-attending fans the bliss of seeing
them in the act of suffering from blows in
fcted by pitched or fouled balls. That
would be giving the fans too much happl-
ness for the price Of admission Ihey II
endure torture with barely grimace OF
pain for the sake of warding off too big
laugh on themselves. There's nothing ne
rolc. even If 1t be after the legendary
manner of the Spartan, In this apparent
imperviousness to pain on the part or
modern umpires. It's merely little mat
ter of pride with them. Discrimination 10
permit the jeering fans to have 1t All thelr
own way Take a peek at these shins.
Tommy was one of the "sooners' who
got out his summer brand of undergear
about month ahead OF THIS year "edthel'
and so 1t was perfectly practicable 10 nave
of the hotel lobby. They We're bad looking
shIns. for a fact-black and blue and-green
bruises some Of them mighty achelsh
looking from above the two ankles almost
20 the knees.
II can lust about trudge around without
nmpng" the umpire went on for some OF
those ball dents on my shins reached the
bones | got all of that assortment OF
shin bruises at the games here between the
Nationals and the New Iorks and the Atm
letics They were all foul-tip, underline,
bat dents. Hurt? Well, you stand OH ana
let Tom Hughes or Charley Smith or case
patt.n chuck a few of their fast ones at
your shins and then drop around ana let
me know how II feels.
Why the Crowd Jeers.
Now, every time l took of those
shin-sIams the thing that hankered to DO
was to squat right down on the green
sward pull up my trousers leg and stake
the bruised spot to about ten minutes OF
soothing rubs. That would have been me
for the fans at the games, wouldn II: II
would have fairly transported them. IN
derstand | am not saying this by way Oh
knock at the fans. It's only NAM.
feStation on their part of one OF the oldeS'
and most commentator traits OF human
nature this enjoyment they get out OF any
sort of damage inflicted upon the uMp!re,
It's the recurrence, common in all OF the
affairs of everyday modern life, OF the an
cient gloat over the discontinue OF lhe
man in authority. The umpire IS lie pon'
NJ the hall game He's the man In au-
thority. All right. The man in authority
must necessarily be arrogant domneerlhs,
a tyrant-that's only the human VleW-anu
If anything happens to put crlmp IN nun
or in his self-esteem-fine! great! so mucn
the better. and down with the HlshIy
Nothing could be more natural or more
human. l am not, repeat, coIlrhen,ins
upon II by way OF a knock-the fans have
been pretty good to me, all Things consul
cred. for a good many years, and have
no possible crouch as to them. mercy
attempt to analyze the reason why they
relish the spectacle of a damaged umpire,
and | think I've got 1t right In attributihs
II to the pure kinkiness of human nature.
We all laugh Ike ruffans when we t see
man chasing his hat that has been biown
from his head by gust of wind, don we
Well. why do we laugh? 1t isn't actuaiiy
funny when you come to think 1t over, Is
II, the picture of man-perhaps some
hard-lucker who can't afford to buy an
other hat-running after hat that is
scurrying along in the mud and muck Oh
the cutters? But we laush All the SAM sam.
It's in us That's the way were built
The damage to the poor devils hat gets
us nothing; it ought really to incline US 10
sympathy toward him. But we cackle ana
laugh We can't help 1t. A man-worse
than that even a woman-slips on an icy
pavement. We laugh. We laugh just III u
kill The man woman may get severe
or even a serious bump, but that makes
no difference There's kink In us that
causes us TO look upon injury TO others as
something humorous and SO we Just nave
all kinds of fun over the spectacle OF the
fallen man or woman wallowng around,
trying to get up from the Ice. The darkey
at the fair raree show who, for niue
pittance a day, sticks his head through the
canvas and permits the bunch TO throw the
balls at his head gets cruel wallop IN
the eye from some good marksman-ano
we laugh.
ITS the old. old thing. Didn't the Ro-
man populace in the amphitheater enjoy 1t
when the chesty gladiator, the victor In a
hundred battles, finally got his quietus at
the hands of some barbarian stranger! But
there's no necessity to pile up instances.
The relationship of the base ball crowd to
the umpire of the game Is as natural as
dandelions in spring. 1t took melt taxes
all umpires-a good many years TO get the
right kind of handicap on this fact. HaV-
Ing got it, refuse to hop around ike
somebody hurt a whole lot when really
am in pain from the impact of ball on
ball lot. It's enough that the fans nave
got the umpire there to turn themselves
loose upon when the thing doesn't break
their way. 1t would be more than enough
If the struck umpire should anord them
the unnecessary hilarity which must al
WAYS ensue when an arbitrator permits the
crowd TO see that he is suffering from an
accidental injury. And more than enough
is sufficiency.
Most Of the Fans Fair.
II spoke a moment ago of the relation
ship OF the crowd to the base ball umpire.
Let me say here that the overwhelming
majority of men who attend ball games,
whether they sit in the boxes or out on
the bleachers among the sun gods, are fair
to the umpire The croakers, the baters,
the peculiarly balanced chaps who AFRO
gate TO themselves the presumption that
they know more about 1t and are in bet
ter position to judge the plays than the
umpire. are In a colossal minority, to
speak. You'll observe this easily enough
any time you use your ears after a close
decision. A close decision gets the umpire
In bad with the unfair ones, and they harp
on II for the remainder of the game Note
the fact that the croakers are compare
lively few. and that their voices through
out the remainder of the game are always
the same The chaps who set up the
'robber' and burglar yell make lot
of noise-can even create the impression in
the minds OF the inexperienced that the
whole crowd Is taking a noisy verbal IAN
out OF the umpire. But there really are
only a few OF them at every game. The
great bulk OF the people at the game are
willing TO give 1t to the umpire that he is
doing the fair thing, that he is striving
with all his might to avoid making mis-
takes, that he is utterly impartial that he
has personal prejudices against ball