davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-07
A Hard Drinking Bout.

Among the songs Of Robert Burns
is one upon whistle used by Dane
who visited England In the retinue Of
Anne Of Denmark. This whistle was
placed on the table at the beginning Of
a drinking bout which was won by
whoever was last able to blow It. The
Dane conquered all corners, says the
story, until Sir Robert Lawrie Of Max
welton, latter three days and three
lights hard contest, left the Scan
dinavian under the table,"
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-07

no muckle sickness there.
q. CT should think not. Have
you never been sick?
Y. W.-Neever!
ID. GLOW do you account for that7
v. W.-Weel, We see, It's like this:
The Doctors kept me a. my life, an
he fist let's me alone. illustrated Bits.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-07

cured the money, but a friend calling
upon him and relating piteous tale
Of his goods being seized for rent, the
thoughtless but benevolent author gave
him all the money. The tailor called
and was told that if he had come q lit
tie sooner he could have had the
money, but that he had just parted
with every shilling Of it to a friend IN
distress, adding, II would have been
an unfeeling monster not to have re-
lieved trouble when in my power"
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-07
Fire and Water.

Water will extinguish fire because
the water forms coating over the
fuel, which keeps it from the air, and
the conversion Of water into steam
draws off the heat from the burning
fuel. A little water makes a fire
f1ercer, while large quantity Of water
puts it out. The explanation is that
water is composed Of oxygen and by
drogen. When, therefore, the fire can
decompose the water into its simple
elements it serves as fuel to the flame.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-07
Too. Too Much

"Thank you, son." said old Tightf1st
to the boy who had run several blocks
on an errand for him. "Here's penny
fur ye."
"Don't tempt me, guv'ner," said the
bright boy. IF was ter take all dat
money might buy auto wild it an
git pinched for scorchin'. "-Philadel.
phia Press.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-07
Tough Fare.

In a New Zealand town one Of the
municipal candidates, pronounced
Scotsman, had received present Of a
huge Scotch thistle, which at the mo-
ment happened to be lying on the ta-
BILE Of his committee room. A friend,
entering, withdrew suddenly, with the
remark: II beg your pardon. I didn't
know you were at luncheon"
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-07
Clever Girl.

Mother-What's that hear? Franz
actually kissed you at the railway sta
ton? And what did you do, pray?
Daughter-Well, so as to make every
body think he was a relative and SO
prevent scandal I kissed him too.-
Berlin Journal. ... ..
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-07
A Curious Fact.

II have some very strong letters Of
introduction" said the caller.
my FRIEND" answered Senator Sor-
ghum, II don't rely too far on COM
municat1ons Of that kind. A man will
give you letter Of introduction de-
scr1D1ng you as possessed Of every no
BILE quality in human nature and in the
next breath refuse to indorse your note
Tor $20."-Washington Star. s.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-07
just the Other Way.

Just the Other way.
II am delighted" said the old friend
who had called, "'to find that you agree
with your husband in everything, Mrs.
Henpeck." - -. RI
"Indeedv' answered that estimable
lady. IF you will take the pains to in
vestigate our domestic relations, sir,
you will find that it is Mr.. Henpeck
who agrees with me In everything"
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-07
Ingenious.

Servant Ito artist returning from
holiday)-There have been so many
callers since you left that I have been
obliged to wash the names from the
Pearson's Weekly.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-07
No Reform Wanted.

81 hope he'll reform when you are
married"
II don't!
"Why, he spends every cent he
earns!" s- ..
II know it, but lie spends it on me-"
Houston Post. y
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-07
Caustic Criticism.

Sculptor ito his friendj-Well, what
do you think of my bust? Fine piece
Of marble, isn't it? FrienG-Magnifi-
cent. What a pity to have made
bust of it. It would have made love
~ mantelpiece.-Ron Vivant.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-07
A Had Outlook.

Mother-D orothy, I have to be scold-
Ing you all the time! Dorothy Well,
all can say, mamma, Is I'm. sorry for
the man who gets you for mother-in-
law. Smiths Magazine. IS
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-07

The book agent and the fly get
mighty little credit for their energy
and industry.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-07
500 Buys Superior Property.

Superior, Wis.,, Sept. by deeds
just filed the holding company OF the
500 line has gained possession Of all
the available land on Connors point.
the only outlet to Duluth. The point
of land is now all owned by railroads
except the city dock and the ground
On which a public school stands. A
population of over 400 will have tc
seek homes elsewhere The Great
Northern and Northern Pacific roads
own the remainder Of the land.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-07
What Ia tho Answar2

She-That Is a woman whom envy,
and, curious as it may seem, she en-
vies me. He-How can that be? She
We were both after the same man
and I married illustrated Bits.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-07

What many men regard as a good
story" wouldn't 60 in a Sunday
school paper.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-07

A fool is the gaeatest nuisance in
this world. And there are quite a
few of them.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-07

There would be no scarcity of
harvest hands if more young men
learned to handle the pitchfork as
we'll as a cigarette.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-07
Fusion Assured in Nebraska.

Lincoln, Neb., Sept. Returns
from the primary election of Tuesday
indicate the nomination for Judge of
the supreme court Of George L. Loo
mis- of Fremont on both the Demo
cratic and Populist tickets, which will
insure fusion again this year.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-07

a lazy man goes far, and he who
shuns labor labors doubly. Greek
Proverb. n 3, 80. /.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-07

Calling yourself fool every day
is like repeated doses of medicine;
soon loses it's effectiveness. Self
dicipline calls for graduate scale of
punishment.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-07

After a man has eaten of a meal
that was prepared only for women,
he is still hungry enough to 60 out
and rob the mouse traps.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-07
OBSERVATIONS.

AS matter of fact, there are no
very big fish in small puddles.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-07

1t is about as hard for a widow to
reconcile No. is kin to her second
marriage as it is for widower to
convince his children they need
new mother.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-07

Every girl wants her steady to be
an artist at making love, but when
she marries him she becomes more
interested in his ability to make
money.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-12-05
MnArrr
GtttzrnHhtr
BY REV. WILLIAM GARDAM,
Detroit.

characterize our own time, we would be disposed to argue that the vast
gains of modern life would make life itself very much larger and richer,
that the modern citizen would shed much of the militant insular citizen
ship.
And yet the popularity of our modern day is that the great gains
and enrichments of life have not wrought a correspondingy larger man
or larger citizenship.
Our modern citizenship is neither broad nor generous nor enlght-
ened in any measure proportionate to the general enlightenment and en-
rchment Of the world We live in. Indeed, a marked phase and quality
of our present-day life is rather the tendency to emphasize race separation
and race hatred. The Hague conference, just concluding, has revealed
this. The modern principle of the augmentation of naval and military
ornaments reveals this. There are some six nations of the modern world,
and these the most advanced, who keep the closest and most jealous eye
each on the other, and if one of these powers lays down a battleship,
the others Immediately proceed to lay down a bigger one. Germany was
never so insuar, so nationally insular. Armed to the teeth, she has her
scouts abroad and her war machines trained to the finest readiness. Ger
many is German to the core and sleeps, if she sleeps at all, in her armor.
And this is true of France, of Russia, and in a measure also Of England,
notwithstanding her wide empire of colonies. The United States has had
4 peculiar training in broad citizenship, and yet we have coined in
very recent times that narrowest of all national cries, "My country! Right
or wrong, my country The trade policies of the world to-day indicate
The fear of our own immediate time, expressed in the alarming phrase
"The yellow peril" is a revelation of this same thing.
The greatest peril of the modern world is in a hardened and hard
ening nahonalsm, in that race hatred, which reveals itself in s o many
bitter and threatening ways, in the life, the trade, the politics, and the
religion even of this modern life. OF all nations the United States il
freest and least hampered, either by tradition or geographical crowding
to show this world of our own time a more excellent way. The best
citizenship is found not in a hardened militant nationahsm, but in the
recognition that Gods world is a very big world and that there is Ioon
and liberty and safety for every man.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-12-05
WAKING Up a Bow.

Henry Johnson, a laboring man liv.
Ing In Fond du Lac, Wis, has a son 10
years old, named Charles. Charles is
so hard to wake up mornings that
the father has to wake up severa OF
his nearest neighbors in getting the
boy out of bed.
Last month they threatened to 60 to
court about the matter, and since then
the father has taken to throwing the
boy out of the window into a pond
when it is time to get up. Charles goes
into the pond with a great splash,
the feel Of the water arouses him,
and he wades ashore and gets ready
for breakfast with no harm done to
anybody.
The invention Is not patented, and
any father can use II. When winter
comes the boy can be pitched out
head first into a snowbank.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-12-05

way in making q start for a home.
OF course. a little money is necessary.
but the amount paid out for rent each
month would soon pay for a Sl.2OO
cottage and leave the owner in posi-.
ton to 90 ahead on something larger
II he needs It. Sometimes people get
so attached to a little home that is
comfortable and convenient that they
are in no hurry to leave 1t. My advice
has always been to make a start and
make IL modest enough SO you are not
embarrassed TO make your payments.
and | believe II is a great deal better
to go a good deal too slow than to go
a little bit too fast.
like to see good houses. and when
a person can afford it ! like TO see
them living in an expensive house,
but ! don't like to see young fellows
start in with a property a good deal
larger and more expensive than they
need when they haven't the means to
pay for 1t. because | know it means
many months and years Of hard work
and a good many nights of worry, all
of which may be avoided by making
the proper start. A little house may
be buried in vines partially hidden by
shade trees and beautified by a yard
full of flowers until the house is for
gotten and the coy home only is re
membered.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-12-05

A curious incident comes from Brit.
ish Columbia. A settler named Ora.
ham, living in the wilderness, return.
ed home one day after a hunt and
stood his shotgun in a corner Of the
cabin and wen out to chop wood.
White he was chopping and while
his daughter. ~ years old, was prepar.
ing supper, she accidentally knocked
the gun down and 1t was discharged.
A wolf had followed the father
home and vas then standing in the
open door looking around before at.
lacking the girl. He had not been
heard nor seen, and the first known
Of his presence was when the shot
struck him and he fell down to kick
a few times and become a dead wolf.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-12-05
Catalogue Houses Busy.

Thousands Of dollars are being spent
with the big catalogue houses Of the
east by the residents Of the small
towns In southern Utah, according to
reports brought to Salt Lake by Or
son Hewlett, president Of the Manu-
facturers' and Merchants association.
and Lorenzo Jenkins. secretary and
manager of the Retail Merchants as
ISOLATION Of the state.
Messrs. Hewlett and jenkins spent
nearly a week In Sanpete county and
vicinity, calling merchants and farm
ers together to urge greater patronage
of home industries. Ephraim. Moroni,
Fairview, Spring City. Mount Pleas
ant, Fountain Green, Manti and Ches-
ter were visited and In each place the
greatest enthusiasm was manifested
by merchants over the campaign re-
Gently inaugurated by commercial
bodies of the state for a more extern
sive patronage of home industries.
Meetings we're called and ways and
means discussed by which the prac'
tice OF patronizing the mail order
houses can he done away with. This
practice has reached alarming proper.
tons In the southern part Of the state,
according to Messrs. Hewlett and
jenkins. One small town alone last
month received goods to the value OF
81, 200 from a big eastern mail order
concern.-Salt Lake (utah) Herald
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-12-05
TRICK THE FOOLISH
SCHEMES OF PREMIUM MAIL
ORDER HOUSES.
STUFF IS OF LITTLE VALUE
Cheapest Kind Of Goods Handled by
These Concerns, and They Are
Sold at the Highest Mar
ket Prices.

There are dozens of premium-giving
mail order houses operating In differ.
ent cities Of the country. These
houses reach out for trade in all parts
OF the country, and do not overlook
tho largest cities. They gain for their
aides and their agents men. women
and children, wives of lawyers, mer.
chants. church workers and n class
that they can. Some Of them make
a business catering to the Epworth
leagues, the Sunday schools. the
churches. and have plans by which
the people are humbugged and loaded
down with inferior goods, and the
league, the Sunday school or the
church gets a little cheap furniture,
some dinky-dinky thing almost worth
less for all the trouble gone to-.
These premium that put
out baking powder, cheap c%offees, gro.
cerias Of every kind and description,
generally put out the cheapest kinds
of stun. Recently samples Of the
gods that have been received from
them have been sent to the chemists
vi fIc Hule lOou utDal iilthtS III q
number Of cites. and universally the
goods were found to be Of the rankest
kind. The coffee the cheapest Santos.
and doctored up with roasted cereals
and chickory; the baking powders
were al abomination of cheap acids
and other materials: the extracts
were wholly synthetic, produced from
coaltar products. and so adulteration
was carried to the extreme. These
goods were sold at the highest prices
and were of such class that no re-
spectacle grocer in any city OF ham,
let would have them in his stock.
These are the classes that the good
women, perhaps w~ell.meaning, but
not up to snuff. palm off upon their
neighbors when they become the sec.
rotary of "the club" and the kind OF
dope they innocently give to their
husbands and children, and when the
little ones become sickened by par
taking Of the stun, the dear little
IN gladly pays some doctor four
times the amount the abominable
goods cost.
There will be something dropping
pretty quick among a certain class OF
these big companies" Their bust
ness is Of the fraudulent kind and
there is a likelihood that at no distant
period the government officers will Sc
cure such evidence as will put many
Of the concerns out Of business.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-12-05
MUST BUILD UP cusiNess
Country Merchant Can Use the Local
Press to Advantage.

The sentiment exhibited In the nu.
try newspapers for the purpose OF In
ducing people to trade at home in
stead Of sending their money to mail
order houses is good and noble, but
w doubt II 1t appeals to the multitude
who p~atronize these mail order
houses.
The best way in which the mer-
chants In the towns and smaller cities
can fight the mail order houses Is to
advertise. They know most OF their
patrons personally, can show them the
goods before they buy them, have
many other advantages owe the mail
order houses and in almost every In
stance can sell just as cheap, II aot
cheaper.
II the home merchant lacks fore
sight and Is too penurious to proper
ly advertise his goods, why should the
publisher exert himself to keep the
trade at home for him? II solicita-
lions on the part of the publisher fail
to educate the merchant to the fact
that he must advertise IL he wants to
keep up with the procession, then
nothing Is left to the merchant but
to learn In the school of experience.
and II the teachings Of that renowned
school are Of no effect on him, then
there is no place for him and eventu
ally his place in the commercial
world will be taken up by some
nor enterprising competitor.--Buck
eve Informer.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-12-05
~Catch.pennv Schemes.

Those who make a habit of answer.
ing advertisements In the cheap
mail order papers are sure to bite at
the bait held out to them sooner or
later. One OF the common CRAFTS Is
advertising for men to distribute cir
culars' and offering from three dol.
lars to Ave dollars a day for the serv-
ices. These generally charge
a fee of from two dollars to five dol
lars for Registering" and in return
send a number of printed blanks and
names Of companies who want adver.
Using matter circulated. After some
dollars worth Of postage stamps Is
wasted IN writing to the names sup
piled, the person anxious for a Job
concludes that he Is out Of pocket.
A common form Of fraud is the ad.
vertising for men to become detec-
tives. There are few Of these rank
humbugs doing business, and in a way
so shrewdly devised that the authori-
ties cannot deny them the use OF the
mails. In a few cases fraud orders
have been issued against them, but a
change was quickly made to another
city, and the same old graft put In
operation. In these cases a fee Is
charged for commission and badge
and instructions. The bit Of nickeled
brass sent out as a badge is familiar
in nearly every police court as a
source OF trouble for green young men
who think that its possession gives
them official authority.
Business men should be or the look
out for a new game which has been
played In a number Of parts OF the
! country OF late. A stranger enters a
store, buys a small bill Of goods. not
exceeding ten or fifteen dollars, says
that he win call for them later, and
gives a check for $50 or more on a
bank, receiving no change in return.
He remains away for n few days, then
calls for the goods. He is told that
the check is no good. After roundly
'cussing'' the bank he pays for the
goods, takes the check and goes. In a
few days more the check comes to the
merchant, paid at the bank, because 1t
had the merchants endorsement on 1t.
This was the end to be obtained. Be
| on the lookout for this game.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-12-05
Fake Spices Sold to Public.

1t has been found that more than
so per cent. Of the groceries sold by
travelling agents who sell direct to
consumers are Of the adulterated
classes. Examinations made OF cof-
fees sold by such concerns proved
that there was so per cent. adultera-
ton. The cheapest kind Of Santos
is used for a base, and with this
ground cocoanut shells. burnt corn
and chicory are combined. Such con
coctions are dangerous, and a rank
imposition upon the people. The
spices that are sold by many OF the
alleged pure food that have
agents working among the people In
small towns are dangerous to health.
Many classes consist Of ground
bark, nut shells and other materials
and favored with artificial flavors
that are coal tar products. 1t is un
safe to buy from the concerns that
gain their business through can
vassers, or who do an exclusive mail
order business.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-12-05

told Robbie that II was because ne ate
soup that he was growing so big.
The little fellow was pleased, indeed,
with tie success Of his plan. There.
after, he ate every bit of the soup
without grumbling, and then went up.
stairs and cut of the bottoms of his
trousers and sleeves again and again.
Mother wondered and wondered that
Robbie should grow so quickly, but
when he was to go to a party one
afternoon, and she saw that his best
clothes fitted him as well as ever, the
secret came out.
Robbie was made to wear the spoiled
suit Of clothes to the party and to ap-
pear among his playmates in them for
n long month.
And although he had hoped that
soon he woul | have to eat no more
soup, he was still made to eat quite as
much as ever.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-12-05
Floor Plan

which reaches clear across the front.
II is not a large veranda and not ex-
pensiye, but Il makes a finish for the
front OF the little house and it pro
vides a very comfortable open-air sit.
ting-room In summer and it is a pro-
lection from snow and other storms in
winter. The money that this veranda
costs is money well spent. No matter
how cheap the house, sou don't want
the front door to look bare and unpro,
tected, and you cant protect it In any
other way quite so well as by build.
ing a solid looking, comfortable yer.
anda.
In size, the plan Is 20 by 40 feet,
and in this space the architect has
planned and laid out five rooms, all
large enough TO hold the necessary
furniture, To save expense in first
cost the house ia set on cedar posts
instead Of having a cellar. This is
done because there are men who could
afford to build a cottage house cost,
ing $1,000 or sl,4O0 when 1t would be
impossible for them to raise thy
money for a house costing 81 900. II
is better to build In this way and put
a cellar under the house afterward.
than 10 keep on paying rent year after
year with the expectation Of building
Just as you wan to in three or fouI
years time, because the three or foul
years slip away quickly, and you are
in no better position to build theI
than you are now.
A little determination goes a lonl
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-12-05

Residents of the district round We
suvius have put to practical use TIE
lava which has flowed from the vol.
cano in the past and recent eruptions,
Naples and its vicinity appear to be
a world OF lava. The streets are paved
with It. There are lava s~taircases ana
statues, drinking troughs, ~bric-a.brac
and ever jewelry. The guides make
q profit out OF 1t by pressing coins or
other objects on partially cooled frag'
ments and selling these to visitors.
On the ashy sizes Of the mountain
there is enough lava to build a large
city. In appearance 1t resembles a
shoreless frozen sea Of dull black that
shimmers strangely purple In some
lights.