The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1907-06-22
SOME AFTER DINNER STORIES.

One morning when Rufus Choate
was still in England his clerk in
formed him that a gentleman had
called and wanted him to undertake
case. "Ah and did you collect
the regular retaining fee?" Il only
collected twenty-five guineas, SIR"
The regular fee was fifty guineas,
and Mr.. Choate said: "But that
was unprofessional yes, very unpro-
fessional !' "But, sir" said the
clerk, apologetically, and anxious to
exonerate himself from the charge,
II got all he had" "Ahp' said
Mr.. Choate, with different express
sion, "that was professional yes,
quite professional"
An Irishman had to go to law, and
in consultation with his counsel he
was told that he had good fighting
chance. Paddy, who was anxious to
win the case, was meditative for
moment, and then he said:
''Do you think it would be any
good to send the judge pair. of
dvSA5 :.. zs..--s
mo, no /; you mustn't do that, +"
said his lawyer. eff you send him
a pair of ducks he will be sure to de-
eide the case against you."
A day or so later the case was
heard, and Paddy won with flying
colors. In the course of the congrat-
ulations Paddy remarked:
"It was just as we'll I sent the
Judge them ducks"
"What p exclaimed the counsel.
Ibid you send the ducks 7"
EYES," said Paddy, quite pleased
with himself "but after what you
said 1 sent them from the man on the
other side."
One day Judge Marshall, engrossed
in his reflections, was driving over
the wretched roads of North Caro-
lima on his way to Raleigh in stick
gig. His horse turned out of the
road, and the sulky ran over a sap
ling and was tilted so as to arouse the
Judge. When he found that he could
move neither to the right nor left,
an old negro, who had come along,
solved the difficulty.
"My old MASTER" he asked,
"what fer you don't back your horse?"
That's true" said the judge, and
he acted as advised. Thanking his
deliverer heartily, he felt in his poe
ket for some change, but he did not
have any.
"Never mind, old man," he said,
"1 shall stop at the tavern and leave
some money for you with the land
lord"
The old negro was not impressed
with the stranger, but he called at the
tavern and asked the keeper if any
old gentleman had left anything
there for him.
"Oh, yes" said the landlord, "he
left silver dollar for you. What do
YOU think of that old gentleman Z"
The negro gazed at the dollar and
said: HE was gem man, for sho';
but"-patting his forehead-"he
didn't have much in here"
A friend from the North had gone
to visit the colonel who lived in the
swampy Mississippi river bottoms OF
Louisiana. There was no mosquito
netting over the bed, and in the
morning, when the negro came with
the water and towels, the tortured
visitor asked:
"Sam, why is it that you have no
mosquito netting over the beds!
Doesn't the colonel have any in his
room ?"
"No, suh," replied Sam.
"I don't see how he stands il"
"Well, suh," said Sam, IT reckon
it's jes' dis way: In the fo-part nv
de night, sub, de colonel's mos gen.
era.ly so 'toxicated dat he don't pay
no 'tention to the skeeters; an in de
last part Nv de night, sub, the skeet-
ers is mos centrally so 'toxicated dat
they don't pay no 'tention to de
colonel"
"GREAr P1pl" moaned the pro-
fessor. II gave that young man two
courses on the cultivation of the mem
ory, and he's gone away and forgot
to pay me, and can't for the life of
r