The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1907-07-04
VERY Soul or WIT
FAMoUs tREToRrs cHxRAcTER.
izsD sy BHENfY.
Stories Of Noted Men Who Were
ouick to Seize. Up an -opportu- =.
nifty to Make q
IL Joke.

,Brevity has been the marked char.
acteristic of many happy retorts. What
could be more crushing, more grimly
witty, than the reply attributed Tai.
lyrand on an occasion when certain
notorious parsonage, Ill and ip great
pain, said that he was suffering the
forments of tho lost. Swiftly came
the wicked retort: "Deja"-already?
OF different complexion, but equal.
iy exemplifying the soul Of wit, wac
the reply, which has been attributed to
various painters, to "a questioner who
wished to know the vehicle with which
the painter mixed his colors. DR..
John Brown tells the story OF Opie.
"asPray, Mr.. Opie, may l ask what
you mix your colors with? said a
brisk dilettante student to the great
painter With brains, sir was the
graiff reply--and the right one"
Single word replies, more or less
witty, says the London Globe, are fair.
iy common. A patient whom the fa'
nous DR.. Abernethy had advised to
take walk on an empty stomach
calmly replied: .Whose?'
A recent example was the answer OF
the late Dean Hole to boring Cock
ney fellow travelling on the Great
Northern railway. What comes after
1tchin2" asked the bore. "Scratchin,"
came the swift retort, and thereafter
the conversation tagged.
Many brief and telling replies are
laid to the account of Douglas Jer.
rold. 1t will suffice to recall one.
Whats going on?" said bore, stop.
ping Jerrold in the street. II am"
and the speaker suited the action to
the word.
Akin to this was the answer OF
John Wesley to the clustering swag.
gerer who pushed against him on the
path, with the insulting remark: Il
never make way for fool" II al
ways do" said Wesley, quietly step.
ping aside, and then placidly pursuing
his way.
Brief and witty was the reply Of a
Catholic cleric to an opponent in ar
gument who had declared his disbe.
lief in purgatory. you might go far.
ther and fare worse" was the eccles-
lastic's parting shot.
The wit of more than one of DR..
Johnson,s crushing retorts was en-.
HANGED by brevity, but examples are
to familiar to be quoted. johnson
came down like sledge hammer on
Scotland and things Scottish. Less fa-
miliar, perhaps, is the retort in which
Scotchman scored. An Englishman
in Scotland was abusing the country,
complaining of the state of the lard
err and wondering where he could get
less to eat.
Il could tell We place whaur We
wad get less" said the Scot, who was
listening to the TRADE. Where's
that?" asked the other.
ooh. Just whaur an Englishman's
been!" said the Scotsman dryly.
Brevity as the soul of wit is exem.
plified in many popular sayings. Wit
is by no means an inevitable ingre.
dent In proverbs. Many of them are
of doubtful sense, and some are fool
ish, yet there Is certain spice. The
definition Of proverbs by Howell as
Sayings which combine sense, short.
ness and salt" is in the main true
Though truth may be altogether alb
sent and wit barely perceptible, yet
there. must be certain salt which
gives life and SAVIOR to the saying.
It would be difficult to find say.
ipNc moro telling than soma ~ ~.
shortest-such, for instance, as Fore
warned, forearmed." Extremes meet
orSthe ancient Inter malleum ct in
cudem" (Between the BANNER andthe
anyiD. Many sayings which In Eng
lish are short were briefer still In
their original classical form.
Bernhardt's Admission.
A newspaper writer was praisine
Nine. Bernhard. tE