The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1907-11-11
The Jag IN
Vaudeville

ne: Why do 50 many Of these vaude-
vile sketches hinge upon the mala in
dividual Of the sketch coming home
10 his young wife from the club in
state Of sodden and suIky or hilarious
and skylarkisE1 rummiferousness? Heye
Y'see. that kind OF sketch-oh.
you've seen lots of EMS usually
pulled of something like this:
The rising curtain reveals a terma-
gantish wife-she says she is q wife.
and-I guess she ought TO know. hadn't
she?-tearing around most gilded
and ornate drawing-room, waiting for
her man 10 come home. She is perfect
y certain that he man is going To
come home very drunk. She says SO
about nine dozen times. She gets II
IN, too, that her husband is a hopeless
s0use-gets it in while she's rampag-
ing around there in the drawing room
all by herself when her husband isn't
present. and therefore has no chance
10 defend or square himself with the
audience
However, after she gyrated thar
way for quite while she suddenly
notices that there's q piano there in
the drawing roon-she appears never
TO have known one solitary thing
about the piano till that blessed mo-
ment-and then, Just to pass the time
away while she's waiting to hurl few
articles of vertu and bijouterie at her
man when he shows up. she pumps
down on the piano stool and lifts a
lit or two about how things look down
in dear old Manitoba where the sweet
pawpaws grow. and all like that. The
audience. of course. makes her do this
ali over again. but just the minute she
finishes the encore she jumps up from
the piano stool and is every bit a.
sore as she was before she started
playing and singing.
We'll. now. there's something start
ed. The front doorbell clangs. There's
the Ioafer Of a husband a-coming now!
She knows tbs he! And he's sure N
be picked! She won't do a thing to
him!
Now. Of course, having been put
wise TO il SO many times. the audience
is fully prepared TO see the young man
come in with his package, and he
with the bun all right. OF course he's
wearing a dress suit-thats what they
always cali evening clothes in vode-
yee-a dress suit Men never get
burned up in vaudeville unless they'vs
got their dress suits on. One end or
his collar is flying loose and his tie is
pulled away around TO one side. His
hair In all tousIed He is wabbly on
his pins. He isn't in the least engag-
ing or attractive. Business of his en-
ragged wife grabbing him by the lapels
Of his dress suit coat and shaking him
ferociously while he mumbles thick
apologies.
We'll, they have it out, right before
the audience She roars and bawls at
him. and he's there with the rum
comedian stuff. She accuses him Of
having been out 10 dinner with some
wfllfuI Maize or something like that,
and he-winking wisely at the aadi-
enee-denies it. exuding fun all tbs
time as he does so. Business Of his
termagantish wife gradually subsidins
into the weeps, while the soused ons
releBts. chucks her under the chin.
then folds her in his arms. and it's all
right. fellers. The audience sees that
its all right. for doesn't the couple
walk down stage. hand in hand. and
Tilt another one about up in dear ola
Guatemala. where the crook steTnHed
FIR trees grow? And then they're there
with some more of that hug stuff, and
the curtain thumps down
Nov. why is all this? What for2
Because, when you stop to think
over. there ara just coolies Of inter
astiug situations in the daily life OF
men and women even of husbands
and wives. that have nothing whatever
On earth to do with the rum Trims.
Y.see. nowadays the men who go homie
drunk 10 their wives are quite excep-
tionaI. At any rate. men do not get
drunk at their clubs Everybody
ought to know that much.
IN addition to the same, when II
comes to that. only about one man in
several hundred really belongs TO any
sort of club. If they must and VIII
get picked. they do it at groggeries.
Carrying the thing along a little
further than that. club members for
sure don't say I don't know nuthin'
about that. or I seen y'r mother
n that slack and so on. I mention
this because most Of these vaudeV1lie
st-atrl7 members who belong To the
Mike MuIlaIy Clam Chowder and Sociai
cub or the Jim O'Roone Pleasure and
OYSTER Bake Club may converse Ike
that. but does the conventional sure
enough club mennber. hey2
However. leaving altogether aside
the matter Of accuracy Of representa-
ton. its a cinch. isn't it, that the
drunken man Is not pretty. much less
funny object or spectacle al this period
If The worlds history? The hiccough-
ing male being with the thick utter
ance. and the vacuaus grin and the ZOOS
.oufns and quirks and outlets Is as
ql1ret3lv best under cover. isn't ne? He
doesn't belong. He is out Of the pic