Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-11-30
COUGHING FOR XMAS
. HE hatchet-faced, carrot.

1V HE hatchet-faced, carroty-ha1red
woman who tells all about it be-
fore curtain-rise and during the in
PERMISSION at the vode-veeel house was in
front of us again the other evening. with
that wonderful listener, her woman pal.
and here is about the essense of what
she said this time:
There's that Snuggleup woman over
there in the third row. with the paint
plastered all over her as usual, and her
face kalsomined like a chicken coop in the
moonlight! The Tugs she does put on! Her
husband is only a clerk in some kind of
a brokers office. and he's head over heels
| in debt to all the tradesmen in town-Oh,
I've heard. my dear-but she calls him
broker. did YOU ever? And did you ever
see such flashy clothes as she wears in all
your born days. and the way size goes
swishing and swirling around like comic
valentine on Christmas tree
"Oh by the way. I met her doing her
Christmas shopping the other day.
went into one of the department stores to
get some handkerchiefs for my husbands
relatives Christmas gifts. / always send
them handkerchiefs. and they're mighty
lucky even to get handkerchiefs, for they
live out in the country and they never
send us anything but some walnutS in 4
bag or country-cured side of bacon or
some horrid thin like that. Oh. but about
Mrs. Snuggleup. She was at the perfume
| counter when l came upon her, and do
you know caught her right in the act of
! looking at those ten-cent walls of cheap
| perfumes-she meant them for gifts for
relatives in the west. of course-but when
she saw that / saw what she was buying
| she pretended to be amused over the very
! idea of any perfumes being sold for 10
cents. and she stuck the little bottles
| back where they belonged and began
| talking about the most expensive per-
| fumes to the salesgirl. She picked out
| about half a dozen bottles of ex-
tracts at So and "a a bottle. and then she
selected a big lot of expensive toilet
waters-I was standing by and chatting
| with her just to see what she would do
| and how far she would go with her airs
| and then she picked over the most ex-
| pensive French SOAPS and ordered four
| or five boxes of them, and then she order
| ed the whole batch Of things to be sent
up to her house c. O.. D. Then She told
me she wanted me to help pick out a gift
reading lamp, and l went with her to tn ,
| lamp department solely for the purpose
| of seeing how far she would stick with
the farce. and she picked out the1oveli-
est dull silver and opal lamp, with bead
ed shade fringe, for s135-did you ever
and ordered it sent to her house C. o. D.,
cracked a smile? Well, Mrs. Harpsky.
who lives right next door to the Snuggle-
ups, told me the next day that all of
those things were delivered during the
following forenoon at the Snuggleups'.
and that Mrs. Snuggleup sent every last
one Of the things away, saying that she
hadn't ordered them at all! She just did
all that buying trying to make me believe
she meant it, you see-the ridiculous
trump!
"But, talking about Christmas, isn't it
disgusting the way some women try to
gouge their husbands for expensive gifts?
/ know lot Of women who begin to whee-
die and pamper and bamboozle and coddle
their husbands about month before
Christmas and then they lead up in
kind Of slinky. catty way to telling them
the things they want for Christmas &fts.
You know Hattie Moochout? Well. didn't
she have the nerve to tell me month be-
fore Christmas last year that she was just
bound and determined that her husband
should get her diamond and emerald
locket for Christmas gift-and the way
she did scheme and plan to make him get
1t for her! Why, she had the jewelryman
exhibit it in prominent place in his night
display, and then she'd walk her husband
past the jewelry store every night or SO,
and she'd cali his attention to the locket
and hint around and sigh and look sad and
sweet over it and say that it was pity 1t
was so expensive, and that she consid
cred that such things were only for rich
people, and that it really was shame he
wasn't making more money, with all his
talent and that some day she d1oped-and
then she'd sigh some more, and she told
me-yes, She shameless creature actually
told me all about it-that she could see
her husbands jaws Tightening and she
knew that he was saying to himself that
she should have the locket. expensive or
not, and sure enough he got 1t for her.
though it must have cost easily $500, and
he'd been having hard luck in his bust
ness-everybody knew that-and did you
ever in your natural days hear Of any
thing like a woman Dragging. actually
Dragging, Of gouging her husband like
that!
Deed I'd have to want picked-out
Christmas gift from my husband pretty
badly before I'd go to all the trouble in
steering him up to the point of getting it
ing around about it and mollycoddling 'em
and feeding 'em unusually good things to
eat. like that Susie Grabbit-you know
her?-does for her husband during the
holidays, and wasting all that time and
trouble!
Huh, Id like to see myself! Why. on
the LIST of December, last Year, said to
my husband at the breakfast table: Lis
ten: / want set of broadtail furS for
my Christmas gift this year. Just the COL
larette and muff. I've selected the set
want, and have had 'em put aside at
Peltz's, and they're to be called for on De-
cember the 3d. and then l told him the
cost of the set and told him to look pretty
and crotchety, of course, like all men. and
he put on the abused expression that
confidently expected to see him put on,
and he talked about some folks making
Christmas giving sordid cut-and-dried
affair and asked me II 1t ever occurred to
me that there were some men who'd pre-
fer to pick out their own gifts for their
wives and children and surprise them
and all that sort of humbug. of course I
told him that the surprise feature of
Christmas giving was dead and buried as
an institution thousand years ago, and
that 1t was only intended for children who
still believed in Santa Claus anyhow, but
he looked grouchy and went out num-
bling. But ! wasn't worried bit. l
knew perfectly well that he'd get my
broadtail furs. 1 didn't even mention the
gift again till the morning of December
>23. and then before he left for the Office l
told him that he was to drop in at Peltz's
On his way home that evening and get my
furs. Then he mumbled some more about
what he called the cold-blooded deliber-
ateness of the put-up job. as he called 1t,
but / told him. of course, that I'd have
the broadtail furs or no gift at all. Well,
he stopped and got them that evening and
brought em up himself and tossed them
on the couch, saying, Here's your furs,'
trying to make out as If he were grouchy.
though, of course, he wasn't; why should
he have been? Then / told him / was 60
ing to get him socks and neckties for his
Christmas gift. because he needed those
things and asked him for the money TO
get them with. and he gave 1T IN me and