The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-20
hU4OR OF THE Day

Mr.. Editor 1 have a lot more there in
Editor (absent- mindedly)-rhat's the
main defect In this drawing.-Judge.
Wedderly (to hotel cierk)-Kindly see
that we are called in time to catch the 9
o'clock train in the morning
Hotel Clerk-I'u put down a call for 1880.
Wedderly@No. make 1IsG it i9 4 o'csocR That
will give my wife time to dress-Chicago
News.
Joax-Wise's wife always selects his
Hoax-Why does she select EN-?
Joax-She used to be his typewriter be-
fore Wise married her.-Brooklyn Eagle.
WW a1f3oEig, bells, ana airs wen.
Times.
Hops-The country is in a very unset
scuttle-Yes. and I hear. that they're
nell Widow.
"Bilkins tells me he is getting awfuily
tired of living alone
Il would think he'd marry and settle
II was talking with him about it the
ether day, and he says he doesn't know
graph. H--Milwaukee Sentinel.
shopman tto undecided customer come
Ike one with DOB" painted on it.
read, and my husband doesn't drink wa
teF--Puneh.
well, if there is one thing hate mora
than another" said Gassaway, Tits a long
wiaded bore"
I've misjudged you then"
why, how do you mean?"
u always had an idea you were stuck
on yourself "-Philadelphia Press.
Are those people who drove up today
your relatiyes?' asked the inquisitiye
Yep" answered the small boy.
ON which side-your fathers or moth
Mary side When father and mother
better than to take Sides Nv ashington
Star.
Farmer PasterIot discussing literature
with the new boarder)-Ther' wuz one
book that my son Bill thought a heap of.
when I, be he wuz t hum-aI about swattin'
New Boarder-One of those swashbuck-
Ter ronances, l presume; Do you recall
Farmer Pasterlot-weil, took it t. be e
Jersey story from tn name OF it. Twas
called The Three Muskeeters."-Puck.
EmployeraaWhieh newspaper do you
stenographerNW Whichever one the man
next to me in the train has bought-Juiy
I'm Russia they don't allow soldiers to
That's foolish I think
Because married man has more ex-
perience n warfare"
Witness (to judge)-I shall not be able
to attend tomorrow, as 1t is my wedding
Judge-Wedding dayl That is no excuse.
You would have to attend here if It were
your execution day,-Lustise Blatter.
A man who was charged at the wiJdes-
den police court with intoxication and US
Ing ing bad language 1s pleaded guilty to the
the language; knew nothtng about that
Solicitor Ito cierkl-Do you play the pia-
no, Muller?
Muller-Yes. sir. Wagner is my favorite
soficitor-Ah. I thought So That is the
reason why my best typewriter is out of
tiEe Batter
Dentist-You know that more than three
months ago 1 supplied Baron Won Hale
stein with set of teeth. Well, 1
whcb he owed e o9 DO be fne no
ly did he refuse to pay me, but he had the
.F1iegende Batter.
Mr.. Jolly-Theres one thing I like about
Miss Barker. She never talks about any
bod.-.
Miss SneerweIl-No, indeed She spends
all her time talking about herself.-Smart
Set.
What does 1t mean: pa, when it says
that the worm tuFned?"
THAT the worm doesn't live in a flat"
Town and Topics.
At the Intelligence Object want a
plain cook"
We'll, you'll find plenty here. This amt
40 beauty show. American.
HE asked for her hand in marriage"
We'll, why didn't she give him the one
that Is always in her fathers pocket?'-
5arper's Weekly.