The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-12-15

Dong your Christmas shopping early
Well, that's no reason you should stay
out until all hours of the night, is il?
I've been needing you 50 much 1 had
Miss Sampson. next door. telephoning
al over for you. Little Haley went and
got lost He saw ex-senator Stewart.
Of Nevada. going down the street and
he followed him. thinking. ir was Santa
Claus. I don't know where-an the boy
went, but he couldn't find his way home
and a policeman picked him up Just
think Of Il, Job, your only son in a
police station-and at his age, Amt
you ashamed. A nice sort Of n father
you are! Poor boy; he's cried himself
TO sleep.
Say Job. you know you always give
me some nice book for Christmas. Last
year, do you remember. you gave me
The Pilgrims Scrip. couldn't IN
derstand Il all, bat I thought Il was
real nice. even if it was a secondhand
copy. Do you mind if 1 tell you what
I want this year? l want either a copy
OF Lizzie. the Leech. by Mr.. John
COrwen, or else Floating Florence
by Louis Coolidge. read some. chap
tiers from them in The Big Stick
and I saw the author of Floating
Florence in a Georgetown street car
the other day. He's got such a nice
looking face. and he looks real young
% be such a famous author
That's right. Job. do make yourself
comfortable SOS I can have fine chat
with you I do so love 10 have you all
TO myself on Saturday nights and listen
20 your fine conversation. even if you
do fall asleep talking sometimes. Do
you know. dear. I've been looking over
the papers while waiting for you and
there's a whole lot of things I want 20
ask you about Did you see where a
poor Philadelphia woman has had 20
sue the doctors OF a hospital to make
them give back her husbands brain.
Yes. Of course. he's dead. and they
held an bequest on him and took out
his brain, and now his wife wants il
back ! don't know what he died Of.
but ! do hope that when YOU die. Job.
Il won't be OF anytnins .hatu need a
coroner come poSing around in your
head I'd hate for people 20 know how
little brains you have. dearest. and me
living with you and standing it as best
could for all these years There's
one thing. though. If I sued EN- for
your brains / bet they'd have a hard
time answering the suit. Now. don't
get angry, Job; you know what / mean,
Il see there's a minister out West
who says he won't accept any coins
dropped in the contribution plate unless
they have the In God We trust
motto on them just as II one coin isn't
as good as another 70 pay a minister's
salary in. Most people 1 know'd be
glad 10 get any old kind OF coin. saw
one % them new tWenty-donar gold
pieces IN a jewelers. window the other
day, and 1 think the idea Of that big
eagle flying away is fine. That's just
the way money flies away from US, amt
IT, job?
And some people have SO much
money I see where they arrested a
woman singer-in New York for
bringing In $1,000 worth Of dresses. and
she said they We're all her own, for her
FffA MNAAA AAUA III A-AE WI ~ she ever
expects 70 wear them I can't think I
remember when We were married. Job.
] had more clothes then than 1 ever
had before or since, aud I don't think
the whole lot cost more'n sic Let me
see, there was my blue travelling gown.
my white party dress. that pink tuIle,
and-do you remember that nice black
alpaca that Aunt Cinny gave me?-and-
Oh. well, 1 can't remember EN- all. and
I know II was an awful bother having
so many and not knowing which to put
on; not to speak Of all that beautiful
ingery that Ma made for me! An.
those were happy days,
i was thinking this evening as 1
read the paeer about the time you was
sick, Job, afore We were married. and
how I nursed you / was reminded OF
II by story how a woman who nursed
a poor sick peddler has just been left
$500 by the old man. Wasn't that
grand? Maybe II you hadn't married
me but had gone out into the world
you might have made lot Of money
and left it TO ne in gratitnde-for you
was awful sick. JOB. Not that graft
tude was ever one OF your strong points.
my dear; you never even thanked me
last week for darning all those socks
for you, I saw an advertisement in
The Washington Herald to-day OF
firm that sells three pairs OF socks for
a dollar. and guarantees that you can't
wear hole in EN- in six months: if
you do. they send you another pair I
wished you'd get some Of them when
you get the money. Maybe I'll buy
you some for Christmas. and guess
I'll get some for Emily. too. she's all
the time sticking her big toe through.
and il just keeps me mending. Oh YOU
needn't grunt. Job-you do what 1 tell
you Didn't you see what Gov. Glenn.
Of North Carolina. said-nO. not what
he said to the governor Of South Caro-
lima: you're always thinking OF some
thing 10 drink-he said in a public lee
ture that men should always listen 10
their wives. ] wish you'd take il 70
heart. and not go 10 thinking about
falling asleep the minute I begin 70
indulge in little irrational converse
ton with you. There's that Pittsburg
man who died the other day and leaves
the pretty stenographer In his office
S1OO.000. I'll bet he'd never have done
anything like that if he'd listened TO his
wife
Speaking about PittSburg million
aires, I see that once more the oldest