The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1907-07-04
As SHAW MET TWAIN
Humorist's First Quip In England
Is at PIayWright's Expense.
HAS PLAN TO REGULATE LIFE

American Funmaker Tells Reporters
How He Goes Through His Day aae
Other Things-Relates His Expert
ences on the Trip Over.
"a number of these pests" said
Bernard Shaw to Mark Twain. indi-
eating by a gesture that he was refer
ring to a great congregation Of Eng
lish newspaper reporters who stood
about him and Twain in great circle,
"iust asked me whether you were real
" serious when you wrote The Jump
ing Frog"
Thus opened a brief conversation
that followed the introduction OF Mr..
Shaw to Mr.. Clemens by Professor
Victor II. Henderson. Mr.. Clemens
had come over to England to receive
a degree from Oxford university.
Professor Henderson had crossed with
him on the Minneapolis and had come
up to London with him on the boat
express. Mr.. Shaw had come to st.
Pancras station to meet Professor
Henderson, who is an old friend OF
his, says a special cablegram from
London to the New York Times.
"Yes," Shaw went on, these pests
asked me that, and told them what
I thought to be the truth"
mo doubt" broke in Twain. I'm
sure that you did me full justice. /
have every confidence that I was quite
safe in your hands"
Certainly you were," asserted Mr.:
Shaw. I told them that I had read
everything good that you had written,
and was able to give them the fullest
assurance that you always wrote seri-
ously."
"Mr. Shaw" said Twain, II assure
Won that I can return the compH-
ment" With this Twain winked at
the English journalists, who at once
burst into laughter and somewhat dis
turbed Mr.. Shaw's equanimity. He
did not know that Twain was loaded.
Just as the merriment was subsiding,
nondescript individual with basket
under his arm broke through the jour-
nalistic circle and invited attention to
young bull pup. =.
"'Arf a guinea buys i'm, guv'nor,"
he insfnuatingly remarked to Mr..
Shaw. "'Arf guinea, only two DOL
lars m art for the best bull pup In
England. Larst one I've got guv'nor." )"
'I'm not an American" protested
Mr.. Shaw. ! "sell him to Twain. BE
has got American money"
But Twain, although he deeply
longed for the bull pup, resisted the
temptation to buy. Directly he had
got rid Of the pup peddler, he bade
goodby to Mr.. Shaw and moved to a
cab. By that time he had been more
than three hours under the examina-
ton and cross examination Of the
newspaper men, but he was not tired.
He seemed to enjoy every minute OF
the time.
In the course Of the morning Twain
gave out new scheme according to
which he regulated his. daily life. BE
asked the reporters to be very careful
to take down his words accurately, as
the publication Of the scheme might
be brought to be helpful to others.
every morning." said he, "as soon
as I'm up, smoke cigar and then
have breakfast at 8 o'clock. After
breakfast I smoke another cigar and
then 90 back to bed. At half past 10
smoke another cigar and start die
tating to my stenographer. I finish at
12 o'clock and doze off TIL /. smoke
another cigar and eat lunch. Then
90 back to bed and read what the
newspapers have to say about me.
smoke more cigars until half past g.
Then three assistants dress me for din
ner, evening parties, etc., after which
/ associate with elite society till ]
o'clock in the morning. never 60 to
bed till my daughter turns out the
lights, and then smoke in the dark.
my constitution is improving all the
time"
To the London correspondent Of the
New York Sun Mark Twain spoke OF
his voyage as follows:
my trip over was delightful. The
captain was most courteous, but firm.
As / felt that he needed my assistance
in running the boat ! used to 90 up on
the bridge in nice neighborly fashion
when he wasn't there and tell the 9th
er officers what to do. This lasted just
three days. At the end Of that time
Captain Gates came to me and said
very courteously:
"'Twain, this is the third time have
found that while I was lunching you
have gone to the bridge and altered the
course of the ship and haven't told me
about. it. AS it's up to me to get the
Minneapolis to Tilbury, would you
mind quitting and allowing me to earn