The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-07

volved by the single act OF ssddling one
self for a lifetime with some one man,
and therein, no doubt, will Introduce
many ideas upon which fresh traditions
could be based
A clerk in one OF the local departments
made application for a thirty days leave
one morning in the week just ended, and
by so doing created all sorts Of consterna-
ton.
What" exclaimed his fellow-clerksi
going to take your whole leave in a
bunch?"
Yes" he replied, I'm going TO take my
whole leave in a bunch. right now, and
start as soon as get ft-where. have
not yet decided, but shall at least start. -
Whereupon the entire force bestowed
upon the leaving clerk a glance that Was
clearly meant TO shrivel him into the be-
lief that he is a 100. 49, and 2O-to-l shot,
all three Ways across the board. and that
he wouldn't do at any stage of the route
Undaunted. however. the clerk faced the
astounded crowd and announced; This
morning I was informed that next week
we viii begin housekeeping Wei. it's
right here / jump the city, for during the
trying period Of housekeeping everything
do is wrong; have absolutely no rights.
sleep, or anything else that suggests
sanity and past experiences force me to
take precautions against losing a limb, il
not my life.
Any man, particularly if he has been
married for four or five years. practically
takes his life IN his own hands in attempt
ing to ascend the stairs after dark even
when armed with a burglars lamp. He
unQuestionably invites fate 70 do her
worst For instance. you come home dead
tired and think before dinner you Will
run up into your room and throw yourself
upon the couch for little rest Having,
for the moment, forgotten other hats-
breadth escapes upon previous occasions,
you neglect TO clutch the baluster as you
/ ascend, and as a consequence. slip on the
! second or third step from the top and
land at the bottom OF the long flight. II
/ It wasn't the soap it is sure to be the wax
or a bucket Of dirty water. Then you are
! put TO bed with the assistance Of the
family, and next morning marked absent
without leave at the department. Some
/ times It has been known where the vic
| tins have reached the bedroom door
without really serious accident, whereupon
some such thing as this follows: You're
in hurry. and, again unmindful Of the
advent OF spring, you rush into the room,
The bed has been put near the door be
cause It is in a better position there for
the summer which is usually three or
four months off. And you only recover
from the pain Of this brUise 10 get another
and more serious one from the bureau,
while the chairs that you have overturned
in the conflict are not so much as noticed
that is, by you. This comes later, when
the family assemble. At last, an aching
Lazarus, YOU grope in the direction Of the
couch, and in positive agony prepare 70
sink upon it, But even the faithful old
couch that was before so convenient, 70
daylight and gaslight as well. has been
moved and you strike the hard, unsym-
pathetic floor which proves the last
straw. and only soft in its quality com
ipared with the voices that now surround
lyOu. and in mortal terror you. a big. strong
man. lie there. forced TO listen. ia the
/ course or the bathing OF wounds. TO long
snappy talks on the awkWardness OF man
cruel man. and the abuse Of the care
worn, downtrodden, overworked woman.
Then you are told TO get up, and you ge
a look at yourself You are ashamed Il
J go out. so disconsolately hobble down
. stairs. happy to stand in the kitchen door
but not for long. Even the wind IS in the
} wrong direction for you. and the Odors o.
gasoline and the whirlwind of dust from
, the dangling carpets on the line soon force
YOU into dinner-a rehash of yesterday
/ evening meal. But we're housekeeping,
/ hear on all sides, which seems sufficien
: explanation at least to them. So I man
= age 10 swallow the cold ham or stew il
grateful silence But this year" con
Guided the clerk, I'm OF for some
] where. where there is no hOusecleaning
: and I'm leaving tonight, and I shall no
! only get rid Of the housekeeping period
but kind friends shall escape the tall
and threats that precede the attack
A Washington poet, who upon sundr
/, occasions has tried the good nature OF hi
friends in listening to oft-told tales, me
with rebuke one day not long ago from
which it will take him some time to re
cover. He had been reciting one Of hi
j poems. and did so in response to a simple
p very commonplace question put 10 him b
[ a friend. who had endured as many O
e the same brand as his patience and goo
X nature MOutu Htdtu lbl- G4UAQ Uif tt4E
q he "a poet you may be. but 20
always bring 10 my mind the little stor
of some children who were telling on
) another about the occupations Of thei
fathers. One little girl stammered gu
T that her father was the best man in IN
o whole wide world, because he was mir
= lister. and brought people TO church an
. so to God. Another child maintained tina
her papa was the very best man in tn
world because, he being doctor. heale
u the sick and made them well, so the
- could go to church. And three or nor
y children told OF the greatness Of the
s fathers, until It finally came time for
II blue-eyed. golden-haired little miss
r, tell of her gifted parent. oh" she pipeS
II but my dear papa's best and greatest
d all fathers. because my papas a poet.
y "a poet" exclaimed one UNUSUAL
+ bright. wholesome-looking child, who Ia
s just Joined the group. Why. a poet is M
(. a profession; that's a disease: that's wh1
h my father calls It,
t. and now the long-suffering friend an
the Washington poet are not even no,
d ding as they pass by.
If A man rushed into one of the depar
n ment stores here IN town Just befol
It Easter Sunday and stated in rather
confidential tone to the saleswoman
= the notion counter that ne wanted
= blouse for his wife" You'll find the
+ on the second floor" she answered. b
Il tween numerous giggles. Then the woul
st be shopper made for the elevator. Whetht
IS ne doubted the young woHan's word as
where he might locate the coveted blous
J. or whether it was the enthusiasm of
first Easter gift cannot be determine
+ At any rate, everybody within a mi
- knew he nanted a blouse for his VIII