davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 6, 1907.
Massachusetts for Tariff Reform.

Although the tariff-revision movement
in Massachusetts is rather lop-sided. it is
nevertheless significant by reason of the
fact that it is being promoted by Repub-
Hcan citizens of q State made enormously
rich by the protective system. Gov Guild
and the members Of the legislature who
have signed the petition memorializing
the Congress to take up the question OF
revision Of TIE Dingley schedules at once
are fresh from the people. In the case
Of the governor, he made his race for re-
election on the issue which he is now
forcing into national politics. Only two
years previously a stand-pat Republican
candidate for governor was OverWheIm-
ingly defeated by a Democrat who, him
self one of the largest and most success
ful manufacturers in the country, ap-
pesIed directly TO the voters on the issue
of lowering the rates then and now in
force.
The Massachusetts delegation i'm the
House is i'm complete harmony with the
movement headed by Gov. Guild. Senator
Crane is known TO be in sympathy with
il. Senator Lodge thus far has succeeded
admirably in evadlng the issue. Mr..
Lodge began his brilliant public career a
generation ago with Iow-tarif convictions.
II is said that at one time he was an
active member of the Golden Club. But
for the matter of that certain other Re
publican leaders of equal distinction with
the senior Senator from Massachusetts
one of them Of even more iIlustrious re-
uOwn-entered public life with strong
leanings toward the alluring theories of
free trade. 1t Is unreasonable 10 suppose
that any of them has wholly abandoned
tons. II is this which
pat attitude of men of
] record with a strange
.etrable cloak of mys-
1ut to the country that
sin undertake re
DingIey schedules if
intrusted with power
by the peul.- co. he campaign Of 1898.
This is "a l0ug-distance promise which the
voters are TO consider when making up
their ballots. Tt ought 10 provide the
long-sought issue for which the distracted
Democracy has been waiting these many
years. But there is reason 10 doubt that
il VIII. IF the Democrats could get to-
sether under aggressive and sagacious
leadership. they would be able 10 force the
Republicans To take up tariff rivision in
the next Congress, and thus be instru-
mental in bringing relief TO the business
interests of the country before inevitable
disaster occurs.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06
Dryden's Health Broken.

Senator Dryden's defeat for reelection
is said to have almost completely shat
tered his health. The New Jersey states
man has never been in robust physical
condition since he came to the Senate.
but until i; became evident to him that
the legislature at Trenton was dead set
against his reelection he was always
able to attend regularly the sessions of
the Senate and otherwise discharge his
public duties, 1t is said that until he
was convinced that the boilers from the
Republican caucus could not be induced
TO vote for him he was confident Of
triumphing. as he felt that as soon as
he was given an opportunity to face them
and explain away some misrepresentation
under which they were laboring. he could
bring them around. When, however. he
learned that their decision was irrevoca-
BILE he realized he stood no show. and
Immediately took TO his bed, where he
has since been under the care of two
physician
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06

! Central Labor Union has set itself right.
It has rescinded its extraordinary action
in favor Of high-priced gas.
In the whole local history of organized
labor. there has been nothing quite so re-
markable as the report OF the special com
mittee appointed by Central Labor Union
/ 10 consider this gas question. One would
think that working people would unani-
mously favor the Madden bill. As mat
ter of fact. over nine-tenths of them do
But this special committee brought In an
elaborate. cunningly devised report. which
constituted in its very essence "A special
plea for the gas monopoly. Just think of it.
A labor committee pleading the cause of a
/ corporation swollen out Of all proportions;
doubling the wisdom of curtailing profits
netting nearly 50 per cent telling the COM
munity it would be impossible to produce
and distribute gas for less than a dollar
/ a thousand feet: speaking out for a mo-
nopOly whose stock is fun of water and
whose record is smirched with scandal of
the ugliest sort
| II the gas company's attorney had writ
ten or revised this Central Labor Unicn
Commute IFHftlNr itt Ffp4iA A4pA lltA v p
dotted an 'T' or crossed a It" He could
not have done it better If he had done il
! himself. Naturally. the report carried
with it it's own condemnation. The odor
| of the gas house was over il all.
That such a report did not represent the
honest sentiment of Central Labor Union
was quickly made manifest. That body
has indicated itself. of course. It has re-
pudiatsd the thing, It's affiliated bodies,
the subordinate unions. have been heard
/ from The working people do want
cheaper gas. Tt is they who would be
helped the most by such a reduction.
They know that gas can be sold al profit
! for Is cents. They know that other cities
are paying less than Washington pays.
And they know too. as the whole com
munity knows, that the pending bin Is
based upon equity and right.
Central Labor Union is "a conservative
/ body il has shown both conservatism
/ and wisdom on this proposition, in laying
on the table the committees report
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06
Regretted HIS Choice

Representative Beidler Of Ohio. told
Representative Hughes. OF West Virginia.
/ a conversation he overhead recently at
hotel in the capital OF the Mountain
state New Hampshire man. who had
lived a few weeks in the Kanawha Valley
was complaining bitterly against every
thing and everybody in West Virginia.
IF You don't like US" Indignantly in
quired a West Virginian, why the deuce
don't you go back to your poor little
State of New Hampshire? o.
Because 1 dare not" frankly replled
the New Hampshire man. adding. .'You
see. its this way: I was arrested in New
Hampshire and charged with stealing q
hog. / didn't steal the hog. but ,hc Jury
convicted me. anyway. In passing SEN
tenCe the judge gave me the alternative
Of two years in the New Hampshire pen-
itentiary or six months in the Kama VIVA
Valley. / didn't know anything about
this blasted country then. and so I chose
the latter alternative. Now I want 10 90
back home and take my medicine. but nv
wife swears she'll get a divorce II 7
serve out The sentence in the peniten-
tiary That's the reason I'm staving
here"
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06

From the Louisville C0uriCrJ0urnsL
The ingenious KentuCkian whom one
OF this mornings dispatches reports as
planning TO raise giant African spiders in
incubators and sell their webs In compe-
ton with hemp, has not got his spin
ners into the country yet. Much depends
on whether they are iBvoiced as unenu-
merated noumanufactured articles. textile
machinery. OF wild animals.-New York
Evening Post
As it is well known that spiders can
walk upon water. they will be considered.
for purposes Of legislative regulation.
kentucky's merchant marine and a sub
sidy of $500 o00.000 Will be asked to pro-
mote the industry Gen. Charles II. eros
venor stands ready 10 introduce the bill.
and the President Is counted on 70 write
"a special message advocating its passage.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06
THE NORTH WINDS MASTERING.

From the dark Of the borcsl seas.
From the midnight morn # the role
To the sands Of YOUR Southland lcas,
Where swcitering cities Toll
From the still Of the Caves Of the Cold
To the resonant marches Of men,
b the wind that runs. ! summon my sons
To the arms Of the North again.
To The ships of the sgIuying main
Where the stern wheels southwark thrum
To the lands of the sun and the RAIN
On the wings of the dark ! come.
And never this Love. nor the lure
OF THIS Fame shall make thee free.
For sail a soul. at my rallying roll
Must turn 10 the North with me-
le have iathomCd the fines OF the East
And the reach Of the West ye know,
And the wids Of the Earth. as the beast
We have tanned 90 the whip and the hoe
But the breath Of my pitess plains
Ie have facad-Ye have failed of the goal.
And the drums Of the North, they shall summon J
forth.
Til We win to the pie OF the Pole,
-Cheste' FiIkins, IN the Metropolitan Magazu,
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06

ITHUl IU1E-
The study Club was reading about
Constantine. and had come TO the cir
cumstance OF his having a thousand
cooks
viii Mrs. Jltry-MWal." said the lead
or Of the day. kindly tell us what she
infers from this2'
why" replied Mfs fItry-Mural. lit
would seem that the emperor must have
lived in "a very remote suburb or else he
didn't possess the despOtic power we
have sometimes supposed"
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06
Thinking In niIIInns.

From The American Review u Reviews
Until we learn 10 think in billions we
cannot measure the meaning of the mate
rial development Of the United States dur
ing the last quarter Of a century; mu,h
less can We mentally grasp ,he potentiaIi-
ties which the coming years have in store
for us Our progress. however. has only
been the pioneering work Of clearing th,,
wilderness, of Flowing and planting
amid the stumps which mark The new
land Of the settler
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
TNACCoINTARIE.

Why am I broke, when Belgian har
Would bring me gold?
Why do / dwell a prey to cares,
When eggs are sold
With guarantees to duly hatch
In some old box,
And start me with a goodly batch
OF Plymouth Rocks?
How can / be a toiler-shucks.-
At trivial jobs.
When 1 might well go into ducks,
Or maybe squads?
The magazines are full Of ads,
And methods sure
To show one how 20 get the scads,
And yet I'm Door.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06
Government Right of ArreaI.

The bill comforting upon the govern
meHt the right Of appeal in criminal cases
ON questions Of law would Introduce an
innovation in practice before the Federal
courts. as Senator Hale correctly OBJ
served; but it is an innovation amply
justified by the anomalous situation in
which the government is placed by the
clever maneuvers of corporation lawyers.
VINO obtain the annulment Of a law by
the dictum Of an inferior court. and so
free their client from the possibly an
pleasant consequences Of prosecution.
Senator Bacon well stated the purpose of
the measure when he declared its principle
20 be that wherever there is a decision
saying that an act Of Congress is uncon-
stituuonaI. that question shall not be de-
termined finally by the most inferior in
rank of judges, but shall come ultimately
To the highest court. provided especially
for the determination of such funda-
mental questions
Il is no real objection % the bin 20
urge that il adds 10 the power OF the
government. for it does not detract one
iota from the constitutional rights Of any
defendant, while il does strengthen the
hand Of the Executive i'm enforcing the
law against powerful corporations. There
are some Federal judges whose possession
Of the qualifications Of Caesars wife
may be reasonably doubted. and it is a
manifest absurdity, as President Roose-
welt has remarked, to permit one Of these
judges 10 declare an act of Congress UNI
constitutional while the government
stands powerless to appeal the legal
question TO the highest judicial tribunal.
A French scientist has discovered that
some animals have two minds They
ought to be very happy, then. for they
may change their minds without mean
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06
4 Fellow Feeling.

From the Automobile Magazine.
4 party OF Scotsmen in Springfield had
been celebrating a Burns anniversary,
and unsteady were the steps hOmegOing
in the morning. One fell by the way
side and called for help from another
wayfarer. The would-be sama ritan tried
TO steady himself as he looked upon the
fallen one. and then settled matters by
saying. a Gamma help you up. but A will
lie down aside Won.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06

over. as the Orcgonian points out. SUBJ
sides to Oriental shipping cannot insure
the carriage Of our products TO japanese
ports in American steamers, for the
Japanese have a habit of buying cargoes
with reservation of the right to ship on
their own steamers. If Congress ever gets
to the point of passing a cargO-shipping
bill. will not some patriotic member find
liz necessary 10 propose an amendment
forbidding the expectation of American
products in any but American bottoms?
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06
An Expert OpInIou

From Casseils Saturday Journal
y cookery teacher was giving lesson
to a class Of children and questioning
them ON the joints of mutton The neck.
shoulder, leg, and loin had been mem
toned
Now said the teacher. there is an
other joint no one has mentioned. Come.
Mary. ! know your father is groom.
what does he often put ON a horse?"
a shilling each way miss was the
unexpected answer.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06
His Greetir-.

From Puck
Miss Jackson-Mose Mokt makes
tuTTible break at de Watli.-.-1j 5uhyice
at ouah chU'Ch New Yeah'S Ev-
Miss Johnsing-Sakes alive. What did
dat nigg1h do?
Miss Jackson-At de first stroke oh do
midnight houah he jumped % his feet an
yelled Come sebent 80
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06

truly great magician. Others may have
called in vain upon the spirits Of the
Vastly deep. but when Hobson calls. they
come. When he leaps athwart thun-
derbolt and rides to glory or the grave,
We clap our hands In admiration for the
very holiness of the thing Other lesser
heroes may cry wolf" when nothing
more than humming birds are fitting
from flower to flower; but when Hobson
cries wolf, We know that there are
not only wolves galore on hand. but
bears. and bobcats, and other varmints
too.
Therefore, perhaps we'd best prepare
for gTim-visaged war. The Japanese may
not really want TO fight. but Il is alto
gether probable that they would do so
in an emergency. just to please Capt
Hobson-that is, if nothing less Will make
Us build a $500. 600 navy.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06
FACTS AND FANCIES.
From the Philadelphia Ledger
Nomenclature,

From the Philadelphia Ledger.
Nomenclature.
There was a young lady named Alys,
OF whom people stated in malys
During poverty's reign. twas Alice-just
pleign-
But not since dad buiided a palys
Warned.
Say remarked the boss insinuatingly.
you attend 20 business a title better or
I'm treat you like a Thaw juror
Then the mental knew he had a slender
hold on his job.
Meeting the Emergency.
A strenuous executive had heard muir
murs that De was running the country ac-
cording 10 an "unwritteu constitution"
Write note 10 these kickers." he in
structed his secretary. and tell them that
II they object 20 an 'uuWritten constitu-
ton III write it out for them. and add
that my aim is TO please"
Difficulty.
Here growIed the copy reader. you
write Of chortling' There's no such
word"
Isn't. eh?' replied the reporter. Then
how are you going TO describe the act of
the man who chOrtles?7
Where Women Vote.
Ladies' said the male speaker at the
suffrage convention. there is way out
OF all your troubles. There is an easy
method by which the foot Of tyrant man
may be lifted from you"
There was "a mU-mur OF applause and
then bTeathless interest
Just move 20 Colorado" Continued the
speaker
Then they remembered that the West
had agents out 10 drum up population.
Different Tools.
The Man with the Hoe"
The poet has sung
It's one with shovel
Your doorbcll has rInE
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06
TO 4 FRIEND.

How many times we've sat and talked
OF earth aud heaTen and he'll
And life and death-the little things
Youth understands 50 veil
And noT these things z.e grown as dark
As Sybils wasted page:
We gT0pe We ponder. doubt and weigh:
All what a proof ~ age,
New Orleans Times Democrs,
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06
FOrefhOuEht.

And this million-dollar trust fund.-"
inquired the old family lawyer.
I leave that" responded the cynical
millionaire. in case any OF my cigarette
smoking. Notwithstanding offspring
wishes to buy a little unwritten law
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06
Euru1aFks.

See that long haired, ragged char"
Looks as If he might have been poet
at one time"
Looks as IL ne might be poet now
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06

From the Savannah News.
A Washington newspaper Of recent date
had half-column editorial under the
heading. "A Model Son-in-Iaw." Strange
as 1t may seem. the article had no refer
ence TO Nicholas Longworth.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06
But What's the Plural,

From the New York Telegraph.
Esteemed Baltimore American and
Washington Herald are "argufying'' over
the plural form of grapefruit 1t is q sin
gular fact that when you have eaten one
YOU double Up and feel like something al
together different
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06
Honorable ANCESTORS.

The Japs in noble forbears believe,
As We all know.
But those are not the kind to leave
Behind much dough.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06
Dfdsf Not.

Twas ever thus. I said one day.
I've seen my fondest hopes decay"
Your pardon, friend, a stranger cried.
'Didst ever use formaldehyde?"
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06
Naturally.

Il went home corned last night"
And what did your wife do?"
"Oh, she beefed. &"
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06

That "Salome" press agent who pushed
business so hard that the show was sup
pressed ought 10 form d mutual admira
ton society with the one who stirred up
the preliminary rumpUs preceding the re-
cent appearance of The CIansman" in
PHILADELPHIA
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06

FootDads returned a dollar to a Penn
sylvania man when he told them he was
on his way to purchase medicine for the
baby. That sounds very nice, and il is
to be hoped he didn't really sneak the
dollar out of the baby's bank for some
thing else
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06
GInrionr Thnnnht.

From the Charleston News and CorTicr
While We do not banker for war with
Japan. it will be a grand thing for the
South to have d chance to get on the
pension list.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06
QuEte 60

Pa, what is peuury2'
The Tot Of the average man. my son.
who tries TO earn a living by means Of
his pen"
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06
Wight Prove ContaEIons.

From the Boston Herald.
Secretary Shaws free zone won't go.
There is apprehension in high tariff cir
cles that il might prove contagious.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06

A Missouri legislator has introduced q
bill making it d misdemeauor for wOm-
an in that State 20 buy more than tive
hats q year. neither To cost more than
SLsS Doubtless the approach Of the
Easter season has gone 20 the mans
head.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06

1t now transpires that she Virginia lady
who handed her baby 10 a bear did so
under the impression that It was her hus-
band. She is not the first woman Of
record who couldn't see any difference
between the two.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06

What if the ground hog did see it? He
is one of the charter members of the An
anias Club.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06

Prof. Wolff says reporters see too many
meteorites. And if il were not for the
reporters, good many Of them would
keep right on being meteorites, and moth
ing more.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06

Objection is raised TO the proposed
"anti-bInd tiger bill now pending be
fore the Indiana legislature, upon the
ground that its passage would be IAN
insult 90 every retail pharmacist. Be
sides that, it would make existence ex-
tremely announcement in certain sections
of the Hoosier State.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06

The serpent of temptation leads us
into license. luxury. and liCeutiOuSness.
and then casts us out of the paradise of
pleasure and virtue" says the Baltimore
American. In other words. he makes
YOU walk right in. turn right round, and
walk right out again
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06

From the New York sun.
At any rate the most important con-
sheraton Of the present time IS that no
good end or practical benefit can accrue
from killing the credit Of the railroads
That Is what Mr.. Roosevelt has for the
moment achieved There is not a rail-
road in the country. however high its
credit or unassailable its character and
condition, that can add to-day 10 its
funded debt for any purpose. Only those
betterments that are imperatvely neces-
sary and that it IS impossible 70 defer
are being undertaken and the money for
them is being raised by the sale OF short
term paper at rates Of interest which are
not reassuriHg. Indeed, all this recent
borrowing partakes OF the nature OF
forced loans, and cannot but inspire IN
easiness among all conservative business
men.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06

a Chicago man has invented combined
automatic stenographer, Office boy, and
mailing clerk. This invention viii come
i'm handy and save much time the next
time mir. Roosevelt feels symptoms of a
return of the message -writing habit.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06

4 good many Of our esteemed contempt
raries seem disposed To make merry over
the fact that several lamp-posts have re
Gently been stolen IN Washington. though
We beg 10 assure them il is not "a matter
to be handled in light or frivolous man
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06

Mrs. Russell Sage has given 81. 600 600 20
a polytechnic institute and So to the
Toronto destitute. The former viii pur-
chase quite "a handsome monument. the
latter a number of square meals.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06

It is suggested that MIR. Wa Ting-fang
be made a Senator. in the event Of China
being given a constitution Think Of ,he
talk in case Of yellow Brownsville de-
batei
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06

These "downtrodden masses" walters.
porters. elevator boys. and the like. who
attended meetings and demanded the
abolition Of railroad passes for legisla-
tors. are finding out how il feels now that
the legislators throughout the land are
Jgltating the abolition OF tips.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06

An Oklahoma editor says. There are
two ways Of spending a dollar" Not the
same dollar.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06


Nearly everybody who participated in
the House debate yesterday on the river
and harbor BILL Democrats and Re
publicans alike. paid q glowing tribute
to Hon. Theodore Z. Burton. who for SO
long a time has been chairman Of the
Committee on Rivers and Harbors. and
who has announced his purpose TO retire
from that trying post in the next Con-
gress. This announcement is generally
accepted as indicating the matured deter
winatIon OF MI Burton TO enter the Sena-
torial race in Ohio 20 succeed Senator
Dick, who, although having four years Of
his term still remaining. Is said TO be
getting into heaps of trouble at home.
When relieved Of the hard labor and
drudgery Of the Rivers and Harbors Com
m!tte's craftsmanship Mr.. Burton. who is
not skilled politician IN the Ohio sense,
VIII have time 10 devote 10 promoting his
candidacy for the Senate. Il is considered
possible, Of course. that conditions NAV
so shape themselves as 10 encourage him
TO make fight for the Senatorship next
year. when the legislature 20 choose Mr..
ForakeT's successor is 10 be elected
The vast shipping interests Of the Great
Lakes, which Mr.. Burton has treated with
Que consideration as chairman Of the
/ Rivers and HarbOrs Committee. are I'M
derstOod 10 favor his candidacy for the
Senate and the united support Of these
| interests would undoubtedly make him q
/ formidable candidate even against so
strong a man and sa gacious a politician
As Senator Foraker
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06

The real lemon of the Brownsville incl
dent has been located at last. It is headed
for Cincinnati
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06

An elephant regularly takes up a col
lection in one Of the HindOo temples An
elephant goes around taking up collec-
ton all over this country once in every
four years
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06

So far as the Thaw tragedy is con
cerued. the sooner we reach the "eXeunt
omnes" stage, the better we shall like IT,
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06

"Why is Taft required to make the
longest jUmps?" asks the Buffalo EX-
press He doesn't jump; he takes the
elevator, every time.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-06

Senator LOOney has introduced a bill in
the Texas legislature said 20 be a genu-
inc trust buster. OF course. 1t will be
known as the "Looney bill"