The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-12-14
AS OTHERS
MIGHT SEE US
A FOOTBALL GAME VIEWED
BY A MARIAN PROFESSOR
BY 8. e. klSER
BY 8. G. klSER

The Marian astronomer stepped
was about to take his first peep
through the newly perfected telescope
at the earth, For many years the
work on this wonderful instrument
had been prosecuted. 1t was, at last,
to enable the people of the red
planet to learn just what kind of
beings Inhabited the interesting
sphere which they had so long
been studying. Telescopes which had
served to bring the earth to within
an apparent distance of 200 miles of
their own globe had long been in use
by the Marian astronomers, but now
they were to be able to see their
neighbor at an advantage which they
had never previously enjoyed. The
new instrument was so powerful that
the observer gazing through It would
see the earth as plainly as IL It had
had actually been within mailing dis
lance.
Trembling with expectancy Prof
Bzujkftsnbqm adjusted the wonderful
instrument and looked. The scientists
who had gathered about him held
their breath and waited.
"Ah!" exclaimed the professor. AT
last am able to actually see the peo-
pie who inhabit our sister planet.
am awed. They appear to be very
near-so near that l can plainly see
them moving about. They are-bless
my soul-they are drawing nearer! 1t
must be that my eyes are becoming
accustomed to the instrument. Yes,
very plainly now. They seem to be
only few yards away. 1t is wonder
ful-wonderful!"
What kind Of looking people are
they?" asked one of the excited
scientists.
"A most curious looking people. And
their actions are very ridiculous. They
have arms and legs, as we have, and
they do not wear their heads upside
down, as some of us have previously
supposed. No, their heads are right
side up-but such curious looking
hVouo' hciI ldCtS are dStOUlS0lnRly
ugly. They have noses OF enormous
size-horribly shaped noses of a dull
leaden color. | regret to have to re.
port that they bear little resemblance
to us. They are human beings, un
doubtedly, but they are In a very
early stage of development, or Il
would be better, perhaps, to say in ar
advanced stage of degeneracy. They
possess none of the God-like attributes
with which we ourselves are endowed
Grace, as we know 1t, is absolutely
lacking In them. They have horrible
noses, as have said. The proboscis
OF each OF them seems to cover the
larger part of the face. extending from
the hair line upon the rudimentary
forehead clear down to where the
chin should be, and spreading out ir
revolving dimensions. Their bodies
too, are badly disproportioned. There
are great punches at the joints OF
their arms and legs, and altogethe;
they are about as unattractive in ap
pearance as could be imagined"
The scientists who had gathered
around to hear the professors report
were grievously disappointed. The
telescopes which had previously been
In use had enabled them to discover
upon their sister planet evidence of
vast enterprises that were apparently
the results of human endeavor, and
they had pictured mundane man as a
creature nearly approaching them.
selves In physical appearance and
mental endowments. Naturally the
sudden demolition of their theory
came as shock. Still, they hoped
that the professor might have formed
hasty conclusion.
The scientists looked at one an.
other and shook their heads. A great
disappointment had come to them. At
last one of them. more hopeful than
the rest, said:
Perhaps 1t is unfair to Judge the
people of the earth by their appear
ance alone. What are they doing, pro-
lessor? We must remember that ac.
lions better indicate than mere looks
do the characteristics of people as
well as of other animate things"
Il am afraid" the astronomer re-
piled as he continued his observations,
that little satisfaction is to be de-
rived from a study Of the actions of
our earthly fellow men. can see
perhaps 20 OF them. They are In an
Enclosure and appear to be engaged
ina terrible battle They are horribly
dirty and are fiercely attacking one
another. apparently to gain possession
OF small oval object which must be
something they desire to cat. There!
One Of them has just secured posses
sion of 1t, and all the others are
bouncing upon him. with the evident
intention of tearing him to pieces.
They are clawing and striking and
kicking. II is awful. Blood is stream
ing down the fronts of two of them
They are all struggling In conglom.
crate mass, and-oh! Horrible! Hor.
rible! One Of them has Just torn the
nose completely from another's face.
II is too sickening to be described.
Gentlemen. look for yourselves IL you
care to. ] have no desire to see more"