davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21
.AYHAWKER J0TS

Another trust! The butcher shops
of Wellington have all agreed to keep
closed on Sunday and to close at Z
o'clock on week days.
An unusually large number of young
eagles have been seen in Saline county
this fall, and they are not the kind that
got into trouble at lola, either.
The druggists of Jackson county, ac-
cording to the Recorder, recently met
at Holton to take action regarding the
pure food law. Isn't obedience to the
law about the best action that can be
invented?
Larned Tiller and Toiler: Sol. Mil
hoover hauled in what is believed to
brought to Larned Tuesday of last
week. 1t came from the Leonard
ranch, II miles northwest of Larned
and belonged to Sol Scott. The gross
tare, amounted to 100 bushels and 30
pounds. The load was hauled in by six
horses of only ordinary size. 1t was
too much for the scales and had to be
weighed on the installment plan.
Nature story by the Salina Union that
isn't a fake: There is a large gray
cat in this city which has a novel place
for it's home. 1t sleeps and stays in
the Iron avenue several its mouth
near Iron avenue bridge-provided of
course no rain is falling at which time
the surface sewer is dry. 1t is out of
harms way because should any teas
ing small boy come near 1t can run
deep into the sewer. Birds. and rats
go to the river to drink at this place
and the cat lives easy.
Recently in this column note was
made of certain prizes offered by Judge
J. c. Ruppenthal to pupils of the pub
lie schools for the best historical maps
of townships in Russell county. Judge
Ruppenthal writes the State Journal that
this offer is not confined to Russell
county but is also made in each coun-
ty in his judicial district, which is COM
prised of Russell, Ellis, Trego, Cove,
Logan and Wallace. Il hope, he ADDS,
ito have the students find some data
worthy of preservation by the state his
torical society.
The papers told jokes on the Central
Branch as long ago as 1873. The Atch-
ison Globe in looking over its files mas
this one: The other day a Surly look
ing man boarded the train at Concor-
dia, closely followed by bench-legged
fiste The conductor politely Informed
him that they couldn't carry dogs on
the train, whereupon the man kicked
the dog off the train and said he could
trot along behind the train or stay at
home The train pulled out and the
dog trotted comfortably beside 1t, oc-
casionally pausing to lick stray dog
that ran out to see the steam cars go
by The passengers finally began TO
joke the conductor about the dog keep
ing up, whereupon he spoke to the en-
gineer, and they began to go at the
rate of nine miles an hour, but the
dog trotted along with his tongue hang
ing out perfectly comfortable, when
so exasperated the engineer that he got
the engine down to II miles an hour
and the dog disappeared. When the
train arrived in this city, however, the
dog was found lying on the depot plat
form waiting for his master, and the
ticket agent said ne had been howllng
around there for an hour"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21
JOURNAL ENTRIES

A casual perusal of the Clay Center
Times indicates that Del Valentine has
no intention of asking for the clay
Center postoffice under the Taft ad-
ministration. [Chart:-Th Clay Cen
ter Times is about the only Republican
paper in Kansas that is openly oppos-
ing Taft.1
4
1.-The new idea in dressmaking," says
our old friend, Colonel CASTOR, will be
fine for the girl with no hips to speak
Of" But doesn't Colonel CASTOR know
that he shouldn't speak of 'em any
way?
Now that Webb McNall has recovered
sufficiently to do all the talking for the
crowd, we trust he has taken due no
tice of the fine obituary of himself
published on this page a few weeks
ago.
The judges of the lower courts in
Pennsylvania, as far as heard from,
appear to have the same sort of an
opinion of a two-cent fare law that
Judge Fitzpatrick, of Leavenworth, has
of the prohibitory law.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21
DRENNTNG

This much can be said about CITY
Attorney Dreaming: He is no respec-
ter of persons. Whether he is on the
trail of grafters, or of city officers
who have innocently overstepped
some provision of the law. or
of the vicious element that
breaks the laws of decency and good
government, or of the Ministerial
union itself-it makes no difference to
him what force he is opposing, he is
the same fighter at all times.
This was again illustrated bv the
stand he took at Thursday nights
council meeting in opposition to the
proposition to refund to the Minister
ial union the fee for the use of the
auditorium for the Sheldon reception.
As a rule Mr. Dreaming has been
lined up with the Ministerial union,
and his opposition to q favor to that
organization, bringing to the support
Of the union the genial councilman
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21
MARK TWAIN TO THE PRESIDENT

-ss~AAAe ~ I1EfoLOL14N 4
Note-Mark Twain declines to pilot the
steamboat which will take President
Roosevelt down the Mississippi.
Il asked to steer that boat of yours,
Theodorei o Theodore!
Between the Mississippi shores,
Theodore! o Theodorei
Bui near me now before you go:
4 snail not do it if I know
Myself, because I'll have no show,
Theodorei o Theodore!
When at the wheel to steer stand.
Theodorei o Theodore!
I QUILL butt in there to take hand,
Theodore! o Theodorei
You'll bang it as I cannot tell,
And can only stand and yell:
Theodorel o TheOdorei
If should say to you: Get out,
TheodOrei o Theodore!
You do not know what you're about"
Theodorei o Theodorei
You'd gaze upon me fierce and glum;
You'd think that was going some,
And say I was a liar, by gum,
Theodorei o TheodoreI
Nay, nayi no plotting for me,
Theodore! o Theodorei
On board of any craft with thee,
Theodore! o Theodorei
m rather old and on the shelf;
do not care for fame and pelf-
Say, steer the darned old boat yourself,
Theodorel 0 Theodorei
New York World.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21
FROM OTHER PENS
THE FINANCES OF JAPAN.

The present condition Of the money
markets of the world will prevent
Japan from realizing her hope of issu-
ing a refunding loan under favorable
active market for stocks and bonds
which followed the flush of Japan's
victory in 1905. hope was entertained
that all the war debt could be refund
ed at 4 per cent, and at a price near
par. The first refunding loan was well
taken, but quotations have declined to
about So, and the recent failure 10
float a small amount for the Manchur-
ian railways is a warning that in the
way of refunding nothing more can be
done at present. The heavy interest
charges imposed by the necessities of
the war must continue to be borne by
the Japanese people for some time to
come.-New York Evening Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
LFrom the New York Press.1

From the New York Press.1
It's easier for most people to be an
idiot than to look like one.
HaDmocks are very interesting when
girls are falling out of them.
A pretty sure way to get married is
to have a girl make up her mind to
catch you.
There's a certain kind of man that
can think he looks handsome when he
cocks his hat.
When a woman can't find any other
excuse for making her husband do a
thing, she can always fall back on the
clincher that it's good for the children.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21

being the case. It is difficult to see
how two cents a mile is unjust and
confiscatory, as the lower courts OF
the state assert. If two cents is too
low on local traffic, it simply proves
that that class OF traffic is discrim-
mated against in favor of some other
classes that ride for less than two
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21
9.lsL4][G..Cl,I.31II
MAKERSS UF CHOKES UND HIS
DORY

MAKERSS UF CHOKES UND HIS
DORY.
Der Coffeyville bankers vot hat peen
doing DER worst to get Emmett Dali
ton sticked back in der pen. hat gafen
id oop Ger bad chob. Vich iss veil
enuff. Der said bankers vas making a
foolishment uf deirsellufs ofer dot
bitzness. Resendtly dey wroten a led
der to der gufferner, vich vas full uf
larche, green adjectifs, such as "das-
tardly," "hooriple,'' ct cetery. Und py
dot ledder hangs a tale. Years. ago.
chusd aboudt der time Emmett vas
beginning to sit oop und take motifs,
after being shot indo shoe-strings, der
local Murrat Halsteader ur Coffeyville
wroten a book. Id vas full uf words
und rotten half-tone pictoors, und COW
ting color derefor. Id vas also filled
init larche green adJectifs, ct cetery.
Among der feir- dollar-und-a-halIuf
words vich vas worked to deaf in dot
volume vas heroic" Der word APP
peared under each und efery Won uf
der punk pictoors. For instinks:
"Pictoor uf der heroic Misder Scrub
Scroggins, vot vas shooted in der
pants es he vendt trough der fence"
er-"pictoor uf der heroic Misder Bud
Bilkins vot almosd got into town in
time to be shOoted.'
Now dot book, uf long ago, vas wrot-
ten by a ametoor sensationalisd. Und,
fifdeen years. lader, We are treated to
a second edition uf der same, disguised
es a ledder to der goferner. In der
feirsd, sad und deplorable incidence
vas made comic py der zeal uf der
writer, und in der latter fiddle more
uf der same. Dey vas elder wroten
Ply der same Murrat Halsteader, or else
der latter vas so impressed NIT der
moofmendt uf der former dot he
sviped der style. Dot book und dot
letter hat done much to free Emmett
Dalton. Each, intendt on putting der
kibosh on him fer keeps, hat instilled
elemendt uf humor into Won uf der
saddest incidents uf Kansas history.
Der moral iss: der pen iss often un-
trusted to der hand vot should held
der plow; also: Fiery lemon ISIS not
SO worse uf it ISIS sveetened NIT I'M
conscious humor und perverted indo a
lemonade"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21

Del Valentine predicts in the Clay
Center Times that Governor Hughes
will be the Republican nominee for
president. If Mr.. Valentine will ac-
cept as an amendment the insertion of
the word vice" before the word
president" his prediction will be re-
garded as a fairly good one.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21

1t is stated that the neighbors. of a
Barber county farmer made up a
purse and paid off a $500 mortgage
for him What's the matter out there =?
It's the general impression that every
farmer in Kansas has so much money
that a little thing like $500 mortgage
seems like small change.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21

Another minor judge in Pennsyl-
vania tells his opinion of the two-cent
fare law in that state in no uncertain
terms. The lower courts of Pennsyl-
vania appear to have a mighty poor
opinion of a legislature that would cut
of any of q railroads revenues
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21

Let's see: Did not the Mahans, late
Of Wichita, move their hundred thou
sand dollar stock of liquor down into
Oklahoma when Attorney General
Jackson got after the Wichita liquor
interests? And now Oklahoma has
gone prohibition also. The new state
does not seem to appreciate some of
its new enterprises.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21

Der Stats TEMPERANCE onion ISIS
working fer Ways und means to keep
der K c wholesalers from shibbing so
much Ticker indo Topeka. Berhaps it
ISIS oudt uf order, but We make dis mo-
ton, vich We are sure will safe ad least
pardt uf der shippency-in: Unstrict
der shurriff to stobp hauling i'd away
before id can reach der customer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21
HEROES IN PEACE.

The officers and men of the battle
ship Indiana who cooIly. in great dan
egr, removed ammunition from over
heated chambers, are as much heroes
as if they had been under fire from the
enemy. Possibly they are greater
heroes. In the face of the enemy.
patriotism and a certain savagery tht
is in man spur individuals on to great
deeds even if there is no particular
hope of glory, which is sometimes an
incentive. But to take life In hand in
piping days of peace and descend into
what seems death chamber is kind
of heroism that is more often perform
ed than is generally known and is sell
dom rewarded.-Philadelp In
quirer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21

Dan Anthony tells the New York
Herald that members of his family, re-
Gently home from the Philippines. be-
neve the United StatsS should dispose
of the islands by sale or otherwise -
Does this mean that if there is no sale
for them we should sneak up to some
other nations porch some dark night
and leave the Philippines with no name
attached?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21

The new additions to the city bring
in only about $50 additional popula-
ton, but think of the breathing
space these added 40 acres make!
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21

It appears that Chicago University
also owns 5000 shares of Standard
OIL stock. Now it will be claimed
that Judge Lands struck a blow at
education in assessing that fine.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21

It is said the older men IN the
Standard Oil company are to retire
and let the younger ones run the bust
ness hereafter. 1t can not be charged.
however. that the old men have made
8 failure of it from a financial stand
ROfnt
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21

Here is an argument against two
cent fares that looks valid: Up in
Iowa passenger traffic has so greatly
increased under the reduced fares that
additional coaches have been added to
the trains until it is hard for the trains
to make schedule time If the traffic
keeps on growing additional trains will
have to be run to haul the crowds
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21

whisky reached a record price. in
Cincinnati a day or two ago. Cincin-
natl must have heard that $1,000 worth
of liquors had just-been captured by
Shawnee county.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21

Eighty persons have been killed in
climbing the Alps this season. Climb
ing the Alps IS still in the amateur
class as a dangerous sport by the side
Of automobile speeding.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21

In St Louis an umpire was nearly
killed by a bottle thrown by a specta-
tor. Evidently baseball is not a safe
and sane game any more.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
~ THE ASSOCIATED PRESS.

We trust Wichita has a good strong
pole for the pennant.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21

81 license. All uf desc ISIS necessary
not to ge-speak uf real money for rail-
roadt fare.-in der killency uf Won So
cendt prairie schicken. Derefore, will
continue to hundt sparrerss nit air
gun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21

Now that Oklahoma has prohibit
tion, will the drug store business pick
ND down there?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21

Anyway. the change in weather is
very agreeable. There is no use In
overriding the use of a single brand.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21

President Roosevelt will shortly con-
slider his forth coming message with his
cabinet, but it is not likely that he will
call in Mr. z. H. Hartman to talk the
matter over.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21

1t is asserted that the reports of the
Pennsylvania railroad show that the
average passenger fare collected in
that state is 1871 cents per mile. That
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21

Wichita would have US believe that
Ats street cars are so crowded that the
motto of the public is. THE public be
TANNED" Wichita is funny some
times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21

It Will take a mighty big star on Old
Hlory to do duty for Oklahoma.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21

The navy department objects to being
held up by the coal trust. Unlike the
rest of the country, the navy can go
elsewhere and buy its coal-and also
burn II.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21

Won may gadder dot der Saindt Pit
tersborg Rusty gail vich vas loaded
nit dinymite und intention to touch
herself ouf, vas a real sport. AID leasd
she vas linking seriously uf blowing
her selluf."
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21
KANSAS COMMENT

WHY NOT JUMP JOHN BULL. :
When the japanese commissioner OF
commerce Prince Ishii landed in VAN
couver, this week he witnessed one of
the f1ercest fights against the Oriental
citizen ever waged in the west. Inc
rlot1ng IN San Francisco was nothlng
compared with it, If Japan Threatened
war against the United States for the
Frisco incident, actual war would be
the only declaration she could make
England, her best friend and treaty
ally. But the Japanese papers are not
indignant at Canadians killing their
people; English papers are non-com-
initial while Vancouver papers say the
trouble was ribbed up for the benefit
of the distinguished visitor by Ameri-
can labor union agitators.-Anthony
Republican.
KERMIT
We have a good deal of respect for
Kermit Roosevelt, son of his father.
While he was marching across the
country with some cavalry, a lot of
foolish women embarrassed him with
their attentions, sending flowers, cakes,
etc., to him, writing silly letters, and
rubbering at him in his tent. The eli
max was reached when a woman in IL
linois entered his tent before he got up,
patted his cheek and called him Dear
Boy" Kermit fled and has not
been seen or heard of, since. If Kirmit
had not been made of the real stuff he
would have been all swelled up over
right there was only one thing for him
to do under the circumstance-run.-
Holton Signal.
IS THIS TRUE?
Christian parents are often shocked
because of the things their babies
learn at school. Evelyn Nesbit is not
the only school girl that believed all
women We're immoral. In many com
munities a great many boys and girls
O hon.
orable to be considered 'gamey' than
virtuous. Many a girl knows more at
II than her grandmother knew at TO-
and is not afraid.-Wetmore Spectator.
OUR CIVILIZATION.
We boast of our civilization and yet
we pride in our brute strength. The
country reads with interest the ac-
Simply two big men getting together
and pummelling each other to their
hearts content. 1t is the brutality that
appeals. We lack considerable of being
civilized.-Lawrence Journal.
WOULD TICKLE POLITICIANS.
Three million farmers combining
politically would mean that the politi-
clans of both old parties would run a
race to see which could get hayseed
in his hair the quickest. The real
farmer would go on blowing and
harvesting while the politician would
thresh out the theories and go divid-
ing the billion dollars annually ex-
pended for government.-Pars
Sun.
THE DRUGGISTS.
The secretary of the state board of
health, in discussing the enforcement
of the state pure food law, says he is
going to give the druggists more time,
and Attorney General Jackson seems to
be determined that some of them shall
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21

Coach Weeds ISIS big man, but bet
fem dollarss he couldn't keebp me on
der Vashburn training table long enuff
to feed me der second dose uf proons.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21
ROB HIM Lt;r7AILY.

me tendency of the age" says an
exchenge, is to Shoot every man who
mas 81 In his pocket Not if he will
part with 1t peacefully. Let US be just
TO the age.-Chicago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21
OCEAN r ATES

The PENNSYLVANIA liners are cuttins
rates eastward at time when few are
going abroad; but what the Americans
in Europe want to know IS when west
ward rates will be cut.-Baltimore
Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21

Won uf der prunesipal society svellss
uf dis town had date to go down to
der Senty Fee lasd efening und meet
Nick und Alice, vich vas passing
trough on der Callyforny lemontinted
train. But der p. g. s. couldn't get hiss
dress pandts pressed in time, und
missed der train.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21

I would like to be a sp-nort myselluf,
now dot der glorious schicken season
ISIS oben, but candt ufford a $50 gun,
a 50 dog, a $40 hunding suidt, and a
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21

Der Oklahoma idee uf undesirable
sittizen ISIS Won vich voted der oder
way" in der resendt election.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21
SHERIDAN AND TEXAS.

Some of the papers are recalling
Phil Sheridan's remark that if he own
ed hell and Texas he would rent out
Texas and reside at the other place.
Texas has never been disposed to feel
bitter toward the general for this I'M
gracious remark. for it is the pre-
rogative of every man to stand up for
his own country.-Houston Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21
MILLIONAIRES.

Mr. Taft may think there are too
many millionaires, but nearly every
body else thinks that the number is at
least one shy.-Indianapolis News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21
A SATURDAY SERMON.

HONESTY IN SMALL THINGS
Provide things honest in the sight Oh All
men.-Romans 12:17.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21
WOULD TICKLE POLITICIANS.
THE DRUGGISTS.

The secretary of the state board of
health, in discussing the enforcement
of the state pure food law, says he is
going to give the druggists more time,
and Attorney General Jackson seems to
be determined that some of them shall
serve time.-Parsons Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21

Und now ser Stats board uf healt'
ISIS going to frisk all der piggless to see
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21

uf dey contain alum. 1 nefer knew
piggle had alum in i'd, but L vas al
ways suspicious uf a unripe persimp-
son.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21
TROUBLE FOR WALL STREET.

Just as credit is becoming able to sit
up and take a little nourishment
comes the announcement that Mr..
Roosevelt IS at work on six more
speeches. for delivery in the immediate
future.-A1bany Argus.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21
OUR CIvILIZATION.

The Bellingham Hindu and the Van
couver Jap unite with the Russian Jew
in the offer of gold medal for the best
essay on the subject, 1.-The Blessings of
Civilization" Competitors must be
citizens Of Christian nations and leave
their pistols, slung-shots and brickbats
outside the door.-Los Angeles Express.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-21
THE VALUE OF STATISTICS.

It Is claimed that one-tenth Of the
work on the Panama canal is COM
pleted: A very little ciphering will re-
veal the interesting fact that this
leaves but nine-tenths of the work to
do.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1907-07-24

Bad sick headaches. billiousenss or
constipation are quickly relieved by
Dewitt's Little Early Risers. Small
pill, sure. safe pill-prompt and
pleasant in action. Sold by Lamborn
Drug Co.