The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1907-12-12

sponsible for his children's education,
and all could read and write. AL
though they looked down on their
neighbors as an inferior race, their
brains panned out far below the aver
age. They had stagnated and inter
married so long that to deceive EN-
was as easy as stealing things on a
Christmas tree. Tib greatly relished
creating sensations, and one week
he sprung an extra in which incredi-
bic feats of valor we're accorded to
both armies. The north and south
were clinched, hitting with one arm
free.
His description of the battlefield
was the fiercest thing l ever saw out
side a gilded ten.cent novel, He IN
vented names of men and even states,
and at the wind-up proclaimed in cir
Gus type that England was about to
declare war against the north.
my boy he explained, with en-
thusiasm, what we want is a uni
versal war. 1t pleases 'em to think
everyone is fighting and that this is
the only quiet spot on earth. Each
battle redoubles their sense of secur-
ity and isolation. It's our duty to
make 'em happy. Besides, the more
characters in the play, the more scope
you have. Nothing hampers man
so as facts. Get above sordid facts
and make history. Now, If were you,
I'd ring in an army of Chinese assail-
ing Jersey City. That will doVetail
in with my chapter. Make the Chinks
and English allies
"As it was Tbs game, and as they
seemed ready to swallow anything
from an egg up to family Bible, l
dished up the next item in lurid style.
| remember it was a Very Special
War Extra and l figured out about
40 900 dead on the field of battle when
sable night spread her dusky wings
DER the plain. That last phrase was
Tbs, and he admitted he had read
it in a novel, but he maintained it was
the best line ever in the paper.
1T would have done your heart
good could you have seen Tiberius
bustling out in front of our log house,
paste-pot in hand to stick up some
| bulletins on a tree. He really be-
lieved, reckon, he was running big
paper and l got so l took my work
seriously. When he would announce
that we were to issue an extra,
would fight my watch as if only had
five minutes to catch the press, and
Tib would stand over me bawling out:
Copy! Copy! Look alive, Billy!
You've only two minutes!
"Then he'd turn to the clutter of
women folks and declare: Mrs.
Whitten, you must remove your off
spring from the press-room. Children
are out of place in a great newspaper
Office And it all seemed real, too
1t didn't strike me as funny. | was
sincerely provoked because the kids
were swarming over the shop.
Il shall always remember the style
of him when he'd dash out with his
bulletins. Frowning heavily, eyes
glittering with energy, he'd slap up
a wireless to the effect that Gen
Longstreet was dead. Then he'd walk
pertly back to the editorial room
look over my shoulder and read in
my description that Gen. Longstreet
was beating mastery retreat. Out
he'd dash again and correct the first
bulletin to read, Gen. Longstreet Is
Not Dead" And all the while he'c
be humming some catchy lilt from
last seasons chorus.
Whenever We issued an extra WI
had the youngsters run about thu
Hollow shouting, 'EXtry! EXtry
North n South in a death grapple
All about tn big battle. Seventeen
hundred kilt!' And Tib would stant
beaming in the doorway and murmur
'Ah, but it's heartsome. If we onl.
had some embalmed beef and rip
snorting scandal But it'll come. Pa
tience, my boy, until we run out O
embalmed history. Billy, see if W
cavalry charges in the pantry.
guess we'd better feed 'em littl
hoofwork next
Say, after working under that ma
you'd never want to return to hun
drum again. Why, / got so wa
afraid some one would spring m
fairy news items ahead of me, and tn
joy of knowing was first in the Ian
with an extra was never surpassed il
Park Row. We became so keen in tn
game that on several occasions we go
out night extras. Yes, sir, We arouse
those poor oblivious bipeds at thre
o'clock in the morning, and they GO
up and read the latest intelligence b
candle-light OF course, the night e2
tras were only when the news wa
terrific and wouldn't keep until mor1
ing
only once did Deacon Durgin intel
fere with our policy. That was whe
Tib wrote an editorial knocking fre
silver and declaring for a gold stanC
ard. The deacon insisted that when
came to the currency question, HON
Hollow wanted only bean basis. H
had no use for money, but a govern
ment established on beans would ou
last the very hills, he said. We mad
that the issue of the presidential can
paign, and it hit 'em keenly, sir A
unlimited currency of beans was thei
slogan, and we supplied statistics t
prove it was the only possible solutlo
of the monetary problem.
, Shortly after that, Tib came to m
and said:
THAT last edition touched 'em, an