Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1907-12-27
Observation-Disclosures
DRIFTNOOD
BYUUE r. VERNON.
IN, NLaA11N-1NaN..lM1IMn .nNa

tdl lIltlI OWN NOFtS.
: Don't open Il set of books when you
do kindness for anybody.
The dentist doesn't deal in per-
fumcry. but he is an authority on
extracts.
What we need is more patriotism
in our politics and less politics in or
patriotism.
Money lent to Il friend often causes
the loss of both friend and money.
Ever notice it?
y dead letter. in many instances.
IS the one given by the wife to her
/ husband to mail.
The man who DOESN'T know when
hr is we'll off, necdn' It worry plenty
of people will tell him.
II We could only deceive OILERS as
, easily rs we deceive ourselves, what
great regulations we should have.
80, what Il thrilling tail is this,
How funniIy feel"
Cried Johnnie as he monkeyed with
long electric eel.
When Il woman wishes to retire
from the world she enters a nunnery.
All 4 man has to do is to marry a
famous woman.
The less talent u vaudeville. would
bc-actor has, the more he boasts of
engagements in New York and Chi
cago, which he never had.
Olympia has a young woman who
sings like a lark and plays like gen
Jus. She is very mus ical. In fact,
she is SO musical that she wears an
accordion pleatcd skirt.
One would imagine on account of
the advance in the cost OF white paper
| that the N'"ttie Times would dispense
with those twO-coumn, Spccklcd.
meaningless editorials.
If the Creator does not wish
theaters to open on Sunday, isn't it
reasonable to suppose churches are
included. If performers work on the
Sabbath, so do ministers.
Better live inside of your income,
than to give your neighbors the idea
that You make more money than you
really do, by putting on swagger
airs, owing your rent, fuel and gro
Gerry bill.
Hobo: Would yer kindly lend me
dime ter git somethin' ter eat?"
Gentleman: You've got fifty
cents in your hand now. What's
that for?"
Hobo: That's to tip the waiter"
Seems to me that Seattle should
honor Aunt Angelina, with a work
OF art, rather than Chief Seattle.
Aunt Angelina, by her actions
towards the whites. deserves it.
while Chief Seattle, was, at one time,
ready to scalp the settlers.
c. NJ" Moore, OF Portland, has
not told readers of the STANDARD nv
right name. although | have invited
him to do so in this column. People
who know Moore claim he goes off
half-cocked in many instances. In
my case he went off before he was
cooked at all.
The P.-L runs "Humor from Rus
STA, Humor from Germany,
"HumOr from England" and so on.
entirely overlooking the fact that
columns of humOr are to be found in
Seattle each day Everybody who
has ever visited Seattle knows it is
a very, very funny town.
There is man in Olympia so alb
sent-minded that he knocked at his
own door, the other afternoon, and
asked if himself were at home. His
wife gravely informed him that he
was out. Very WE'LL" was the re-
ply. " will call again another day."
Teacher: " How many pounds
make Il ton?'
Johnnie (son of a coal dcaler):
"One thousand.
tits, perhaps not generally known,
but it is a fact that the President
and Vice-PreSident of the United
States never travel by rail together.
1t is one of the precautionary meas
ures that hedge about the lives of
the two foremost men in the Ma
tiOnal Government, the idea being
that, if an accident upon the rail
should cause the death of one of the
illustrious men, the other would still
be spared to the country. 1t was
for this reason that ex-President
Cleveland invariably rode upon the
Pennsylvania railway when he Jour-
neyed from the capital to Philadel-
phia or New York, and Vice. Presi
dent Stevenson Travelled by the Balti-
more and Ohio route.
Don't kick the ladder down when
you have reached the height. 1t isn't
fair; the ladder has done good service
and is worthy of better treatment
than q kick. A commercial drum
mer, u friend of mine, told me of q
friend of his, the other day, who in
his struggling days frequently in
vited him (the commercial MANI to
supper. HOnOrs and wealth ac-
cumulating, he dropped the suppers
aud gave him a rod. A political Of
flee reached, my commercial friend,
was denied even the nod, but it was
very paltry. In climbing, most of
us are glad of a ladder, and o shove
too, but to reach the top and effect to
despise the man who has showed us,
is cussedly mean" Better stop
on the bottom rung for ever and
day than having climbed the height
play the fool in this way. In life's
big climb, nothing helps a man like
u good, true wife.
After they had kissed each other
and each had disposed of chocolate,
to show that there was no ill-feeling
between them, the blonde said:
So Mabel is married?"
So I've heard" returned the
brunette.
Nice girl, ventured the blonde.
20, very" returned the brunette.
i wouldn't say word against
her for the world"
Neither would l. 1t certainly
amt her beauty"
20, not
Cor her cleverness?"
THE idea is absurd"