The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1907-07-21
MARS. RUBBERINO
IVA SAYS BON VOYAGE
Gives Her Woman Friend Who's
Going Abroad Something to
Ponder Over.

Well. my darling. and 90 you are really
going abroad2" was Mrs. Rubberino's
ELUSIVE greeting to her woman visitor
as abe kissed her with enthusiastic affection.
How perfectly sweet You first trip
TO the other side, Is IL not7 Yes2 How
lovely Isn't il nice the way thew have
been reducing steamship fares 20 Europe
recently, 80 that even people IN the most
moderate circumstances can
They haven't reduced the fares? Why.
l thought / read somewhere a while ago
that the big steamship companies were
engaged in what they call a rate war or
something, n that they'd cut the price
OF the round trip passage down to almost
nothing. Perhaps I made a mistake. I
only thought. though, when / heard that
you and that dear Of a husband OF yours
were going that. Of course. there must nave
been some sort Of a
But maybe you're going to take one Of
the slow boats. l understand that it's
quite a fad for folks who don't care to 60
through all the dressing and all that on the
Dig, fast liners-and those who haven't
! the clothes. too. I dare say-to TAXI what
they call the ten day boats. for on
those boats the women passengers can loll
around in their skirts and shirt waists
and the men in their business suits all the
way across. n I've heard il said that you
can buy a ticket to Glasgow on one Of those
boats-as il anybody wanted to 90 to Glas-
gow!-for as low as s50-but. mercy sakes
alive. what an awful class Of people one
must meet on steamers that make such
low passage terms as that Still, one
shouldn't really express it in that way,
for the poor dears must be crazy to be able
to say that they've crossed the ocean who'll
go that way. and. Of course, they've got
to consult their p~ocketbooks. and il
oh, then you're not going to take one
OF the slow steamers1 Well, l am glad,
my dear. for your sake, for 1 am sure you
wouldn't enjoy it, and after all you don't
absolutely have to do a lot of dressing on
the big steamers il you actually don't want
to and haven't the clothes, you know. OF
course, there are always a lot of spippy
women on board who don't do a single, soil
tary thing but change their clothes from
the time they get up in the morning till
they turn in at night, but one doesn't have
to initiate them, and IL one hasn't the ward
robe, why, then, what would be the use Of
trying, anyway
Il suppose you are going with one of
those personally conducted parties, as they
call them, that make the complete tour OF
Europe In twenty-five days as they soy in
the advertisements1 Isn't il just perfectly
ridiculous how little the organizers Of those
! parties charge for such trips? Deed I
| never could understand how they could
do 1t and make a profit. Still, ] should
think you'd find IL rather a hardship, stay
ing with a personally conducted party all
the time. You know, those personally
conducted European tourists look so per-
fectly absurd, trooping around after tn
courier with their guide books ~fiutterin z
In their hands, and all Of them looking
exactly alike
They remind one OF q big batch of high
school girls being taken through an art
gallery by their teacher. and when James
and I were on the other side we felt dread
fully sorry for the poor creatures. they
looked 30 utterly silly, o know. They
look for all the world like the kin Of folks
that you see perohed up on the rubberneck
wagons on this side, don't you think And
the Europeans as we'll as the better class OF
Americans travelling independently abroad
make such terrific fun OF them and all that
that one really must feel sorry for them.
Another thing is that the personally con-
Quoted parties never get of the beaten
track on the other side and they never by
any chance see anything that isn't utterly
commonplace. They've got to stick to the
schedule as It is mapped out for them by
IN personally conducting folks. and l
should imagine it would be horrible to be
tied down that way. But. OF course, I
suppose these folks consider that it's better
to see a little bit OF the other side, even under
such wretched INC silly conditions,
than not go at all. and. anyhow. their main
idea is TO be able to come back and say
that they've been to Europe. and
-Oh, then you're not going with one Of
the personally conducted parties, my dear7
On one Of the fast new steamers. you say?
Oh, now l come to think Of IL. that perfect
dear OF a husband Of yours has something
to do with the insuring Of steamships, hasn't
he? Oh. now l understand. or course.
How long did you say you were going
to stayp Three months1 That will be de-
lightfull That's how long Mrs. Phonyone
said she and her husband were going to stay
when they went across two summers ago
you know Mrs. Phonyone, hat big, frowsy,
loud talking blond woman that cheated
10 horribly when W. were playing pro-
gressive euchre for those stems a few winters
ago?-well. she's the one. The way that
woman did brag and brag about her Euro
pean trip She made the rounds and told
everybody she knew in New York all about
the steamer they were going to sail on and
where they were going and how long they
were going to be gone. and all that. till
really folks actually began to all but poke
fun at her right to her ~faoe-they couldn't
help it, she was 30 perfectly absurd.
well. she told me and everybody else
that she and her husband would spend at
least three months in doing the out Of the
way places in the Tyrol.' and all that-that's
the way she expressed it-and she must
have swallowed two or three Baedeker's
guide books before she started. she ratified
their itinerary OF 80 glibly.
Wei, of the P~honyones started with a
great racket and ~clatter, about the first Of
June. and Of course nobody had the slight
est idea OF seeing them again before the !
first Of September at the very earliest.
But about the middle OF July james and I
went down to Bensonhurst to see some