The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-01-27


freight All right. send US demi-
joint"
saw that Perkins was, as usual
right.
very we'll" 1 said, what do you
want me to do about it?''
| Perkins wanted a year of my time
| and all the money / could spare. He
mentioned $4,000 as a little beginning
"a sort Of starter, as he put it, L had
faith in Perkins, but $50, 900 was a large
sum to put into a thing on the strength
OF meme and a phrase 1 settled my
self in my chair and Perkins put his
/ feet up on my desk. He always could
talk better when his feet we're tilted
up. Perhaps it sent a greater flow OF
/ blood to his brain.
Now about the water?" 1 asked
comfortably.
"Vile!" cackled Perkins gleefully
| Perfectly vile, It is the worst you
ever tasted. You know the sulphur
spring taste? Sort of bad egg aroma I?
! Well, this O-nO-to-so-forth water is
worse than the worst. It's a bonanza!
say. It's sulphur water with a touch
Of garlic"
He reached into his pocket and
brought out a flask. The water it con-
tanned was as clear and sparkling as
|
handed the flask TO me. I shifted at It.
and hastily replaced the cork.
! Perkins grinned with pleasure
Fierce, isn't it?' he asked. "Smells
as if it ought to cure. don't il? Got
! Got the real old style matery-med ca
pothecary-shop aroma None of your
little-pill, sugar-coated business about
O-no-to-cetera water, Not for a min
utei It's the good old quinine. ipecac.
| I'm r1,.nr,
dose sort. Why, say. Any man that
| takes a dose Of that water has got to
feel better. He deserves to feel bet
ter"
l shifted at the flash again. and reso-
lutely returned it 10 Perkins
Yes" l admitted. 1T has the full
legal allowance of smell. There's no
doubt about it being a medicinal wa
ter. Nobody would mistake It for a ia
bic water. Perkins: child would know
II wasn't meant for perfume. but what
Is II good for? What will II cure?"
Perkins tilted his Pratt hat over one
ear and crossed his legs.
speaking as enc Chicago man 10 an
other. he said slowly, what do YOU
think of rheumatism
If you want me 10 speak as man 10
man, Perkins," I replied. II may say
that rheumatism is a mighty uncom-
Portable disease"
It's prevalent" said Perkins eager
". It's the most prevalent disease on
the map. The rich must have it; the
poorest can afford Il: the young and
the old simply roll in fl Why, man. :"
he exclaimed, rheumatism was made
| specially for O-no-to- forth water
There's millions and millions OF cases
OF rheumatism, and there's oceans AMI
oceans OF Perkins World Famous o.
-to-what-you-call-it water. Great q?
What viii cure rheumatism? Nothingl
Nothing! There you arei They At into
each other like foot in a shoe"
He leaned back and smiled. Then he
waved his hand jauntily in the air.
But I'm not partial" he added. "Is
you can think of a better disease, wen
cure-it Anything
Perkins" 1 said. would you take
this water for rheumatism
Would II" he fairly shouted.
Would I? Sayi If had rheumatism
I'd live on It. I'd drink IT by the gal
lon. I'd battle I'm it"
he stopped abruptly and a smile
broke forth at one corner Of his mouth
and gradually spread over mis- face I'M
I'll ii broke into a broad gri:s which he
vainly endeavored to stifle.
'Warmi" he murmured, aud then his
grin broadened little and he muttered
Luke warm!''-and grinned again
and ran his hard through his hair. He
sat down and slapped his knee.
SAY" he cried. Greatest idea yeti
I'm a benefactorl Think OF the poor
old people trying to drink that stuff
Think Of them trying TO force it down
their throatsI it would be a sin to
make a dog drink it,
He wiped an actual tear from his eve
What II l had 10 dring IT. What II
my poor old mother had to drink IL
Crueltyi But we won't make 'em. We
will be good! We will be generous,
We Will be great We will let them
battle in It. Twice dayl Morning and
night Lukewarm, Why make weak
human beings swallow it? And besides.
they'll need more, Think OF enough
O-no-to-so-forth water 10 swim In
twice a dayl And good old Perkins
paying the freight"
Without another word reached over
and claspcd Perkins by the hand. 1t
was 81 Silent communion % souis--of-
the souls OF two 1--we. up-to-date Chi
cagoans. When the clasp was loosened
we were bound together in q noble pur-
pose TO supply O-no-to-something we
ter 10 a waiting. pain-cursed world
We We're banded together like good
SaInaritans to supply remedy to the
lame ana the halt. And Perkins paw
ing the freight.
Then Perkins gave me the details