davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.
lFrom the Philadelphia Record

IF'rom the Philadelphia Record.l
Some men only tell the truth when
it is more trouble to lie.
The Irish chiropodfst says success is
merely a matter of fate.
Kind words are often wasted where
kick would have the desired effect.
No, Maude, dear, we shouldn't go SO
far as to say that every actor who plays
Hamlet is a ham.
If necessity is the mother of inven-
ton the hardest of her offspring to
raise must be the airship.
Economy is a good thing, but the
trouble Is lot of US haven't anything
to be economical with.
The people who own automobiles may
have money to burn, but judging from
the odor 1t must be tainted money.
Occasionally you hear of a woman
who has as much confidence in her
husband as she has in her family physi-
clan.
Mrs. Wigwag-"How is your hus-
band, Aunt Mandy?" Aunt Mandy
'Porely, ma'am. He was gittin' along
all right, but now de doctah done say
he got de convalescense.'
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27

| There appears to be some uncertainty
as to what the railroads propose to dc
about free transportation after october
| 5, the date on which the two-cent fare
will become effective. 1t is announced
that all special rates, such as clergy
mems permits, charity tickets and similar
| reduced fares. will be abolished, which
| is right and proper. but no definite
statement has been made regarding the
annual passes that are out-those held
| by politicians, public officials, and 9TH
ers.
If the two-cent fare proposition is to
have a fair trial in Kansas, all passes
and special rates of all kinds should be
called in or abolished. Two cents a mile
is the same as the usual round trip ex-
eursion, and is only a trifle higher than
the half fare now granted to the clergy.
But those who ride on absolutely free
transportation will be a heavy drag on
the experiment. Not only will the rail-
roads lose the profit on the fares such
persons would pay, but it eats in heav-
lily on the profits which other passengers
pay.
For instance, suppose there is ten per
cent profit for the railroads in the two
cent fare. it will take nine passengers
paying full fare to make up the loss
caused by one deadhead. If ten passen-
gers rode 100 miles at an expense of
SIS to the railroad, the road would make
a profit of 81 if all paid two cents a
mile. But IL two of the passengers had
passes, there would be an actual loss Of
81 on the trip.
1t is Therefore essential that all passes,
except those held by railroad employees.
be called in. If the two-cent fare is to
have fair trial If Governor Hoch or
any other official still has passes, they
should certainly be cancelled. All such
passes will be outlawed on January 1
anyway, and the favored ones might as
well become accustomed to paying fare
a little earlier.
Abolish the free list as well as the
special rates
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27
PLAYING THE PONIES.

satin tweed. and patent feathers,
Snowy linen, jewels cleaning,
Cnan and laughter blent together,
Plumes and ribbons gayly streaming,
Pushing, crowding, painting, pressing,
Gay, gocd-humored, smiling faces,
EVERY pocket stuffed with money,
They are going to the races.
Dragged skirts and muddy trousers,
vanished gems and crumpled collars,
sour and silent, short of temper,
rockets bare of dimes and dollars,
weary. hungry, hot and thirsty,
Not 2 smile upon their faces,
Sadder. yes, but never wiser,
They are coming from the races.
New York Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27
.sTeddy's" Successor?

Some pertinent questions are asked
by Mr.. Billy Sanders, of Shady Dale,
Ca, and set forth in Uncle Remus's
Magazine for October
''Sence Teddy had got tired of his
job, I want to know who's a-gwine for
to take his place; 1 want to know
who's a-gwine for to deal VII the gen
er'cussedness that we find all about
us. Who's a-gwine for to strangle the
speckled trusts an the streaked rail-
roads, an who's a-gwine for to settle
the hoodlum question that's done gone
an shifted to Japan, the land of the
bran new moon? It's one thing for to
be skeered before the shootin' begins,
an quite another for to be surprised
eff the shootin' begins. They say that
Taft has been tipped off as Teddy's
successor, an eff thar amt nothin' for
to do but to set on things, he'll come
mighty nigh comm under the string
not more'n ten lengths behind the best
PAGER that kin be brung agin him.
He's within for to do anything except
run, or trot, or walk fast for to git
the job. So fur as I'm concerned, /
don't feel right easy in my mind-not
that keer drunkard's dream about
the Republican party. What do keer
about is the whole country, more es-
pecially our own pine-barren an
blackjack thickets.'
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27

stock-hogs and cattle-but compar-
atively little attention is paid to dis
eases in humans except in cases of
contagious that spread rapidly. Peo-
pie will sometimes become panic
stricken because of smallpox, but will
daily carelessiy come in contact with
consumption 1t is time that intelli-
gent and rational action were taken
to prevent the spread of this malady.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27
George Grossmith,s Autograpb.

good tale Is told Of George Gross
smith and the signing of his name
The proprietor of a certain hotel
where "Gee-Gee'' was staying dur
ing one of his recital tours brought
in a volume containing the auto
graphs of distinguished visitors, and
a few words beyond the bare record
of his stay. The ex-Savoyard turn
ed over the leaves to see what friend
had preceded him there. and saw a
signature which gave him an idea. It
was that of Mrs. Alice Shaw. the
we'll known "siffleuse,'' and in the
book was recorded this reason for her
Whistling-"I whistle because I
must" The opening was too good to
be neglected, and it was not many
seconds before the book received this
addition-'T sing because I can't. -
George Grossmith.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27
Author of the Twain Enttanh.

Mistaken reference is so often made
to what is termed the "epitaph writ
ten by Mark Twain for his wife" that
it is worth while to set the matter
straight
The epitaph referred to was not
placed upon the tombstone of Mr..
Clemens wife, but upon that of his
daughter Susie. 1t was not original
with Mark Twain, but was taken by
him from a little poem written some
fifteen years ago by an Australian poet
named Robert Richardson. 1t ap-
peared in a book of poems by Rich
ardson. which was published in Ed
inburgh, in 1898, under the title of
''WiIlow and Wattles.''a sr fE4
The verse used as the epitaph is as
follows in. vr-{ aEE
Warm summer sun,
Shine kindly here.
Warm southern wind,
Blow softly here.
Green sod above,
Lie light, lie light.
Good night, dear heart,
Good night, good night.
The verse has so often been re-
ferred to as being Mark Twain's own
compo sitton that he has recently had
the name of the actual author of it
carved upon the stone.-Des Moines
Register and Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
From the New York Press.J

TFrom the New York Press
You have to sell advice to make any
body believe it is worth following
A rich man never has to spend money
the way q poor man does to prove 1t.
It's very surprising to kiss a girl in
the dark when you think she is some
body else.
The way to have a woman agree
with you about how to bring up chill
dren is not to be married to her
A woman calls man a good hus-
band when she is very fat, but he al
ways speaks of her as his little girl.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27
Romance of a Derelict.

The weirdest of all ocean mysteries,
the one concerning which old sailors
are never tired of discussing, is, an
English paper records, that involving
the Marie Celeste.
This fine clipper-built ship was
spoken in mid-Atlantic on December
4, 1875, by the captain of the High
lander, and reported all well. The
two vessels saluted and parted. Two
days later she was again hailed by a
different craft, but this time there was
no response whatever. AS she APP
peared to be all spick and span, with
sails set and everything in order, the
captain of the hailing vessel was, not
unnaturally, considerably puzzled. AL
tering his course, he ran his ship close
under the lee of the Marie Celeste, and
sent a boarding party to investigate.
The result was as astonishing as it was
inexplicable.
No living being was anywhere to be
found, either above or between decks;
yet the vessel was perfectly sea-
worthy, the cargo was well slowed and
in good condition, and even the brass
work appeared to have been just re-
Gently polished. Moreover, in the sa-
loon was cold luncheon set ready for
the passengers, and the steward 8
pantry showed that preparations for
an evening meal were well advanced.
Evidently, sstoo, the derelict had not
encountered heavy weather, for a
phial of medicine stood upright on
the table of the captains cabin. The
personal effects of officers, crew and
passengers were undisturbed: Fin
ally, to their unboundeG astonishment
the Investigators noted that not a
single boat was missing More than
thirty years have. elapsed since then,
but OF the one hundred and odd per-
sons that were Individually on board
the Marie Celeste on December 4, and
who were as certainly not on her on
the 9Th, no trace has ever been found.
they vanished into thin
air, like so many ghosts. Yet, of
course, this is ridiculous. Somehow
they left, or were decoyed away. But
under what circumstances or by what
means no one knows, no one can
guess even; and their ultimate fate
is enwrapped in an equally impene-
trable mystery.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27
A Submarine Summer House.

surrounded by a cord which before
being set in position is blessed in the
palace temple. It's presence is re-
garded as an effective precaution
against the intrusion of evil spirits to
the inner palace. that mysterious re-
treat concerning which the Siamese
are forbidden to speak, but wherein
is situated the zenana. It is within
this section of the palace, too, that
there exists a very wonderful sub
marine summer house. 1t is built en-
tirely of glass, and, when not in use,
floats upon the surface of the palace
lake. When occupied, by an ingenious
continuance it can be made to sink to
She bottom, and it offers at once
cool and refreshing retreat from the
heat of the capital. His majesty, ac-
companied by his more favored wives,
make frequent use of it.-Review of
Reviews.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27

mining and elevator companies, it in
sists. with an air OF virtue. that it does
it because Of it's duty to the public as a
common carrier. The fact that 1t finds
such stock valuable may possibly have
something to do with the case, however
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27

Winfield voted down a Carnegie IL
brary proposition, but it is feared that
Il was no because of any conscientious
scruples about taking tainted money
but because Winfield does not wish to
be bothered with the expense of keeping
ehe library uo
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27

1t is reported that Mrs. Rohrer's
New York restaurant has gone into the
hands of a receiver. This will be a
great surprise to every one who paid
the prices charged in her restaurant at
the st. Louis worlds fair.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27

Druggists who are not careful about
observing the prohibitory law can dis
cover what may be coming to them by
watching the reports of the district
court proceedings.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27

That deep sigh of relief that you hear
once in awhile comes from some menu
Der of the senate lodge as he remembers
that the danger Of a special session of
the legislature to pass a two-cent fare
INV has been headed on.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27

Coneyville will beat all other Kansas
towns to the commission plan of city
government by adopting it on Novem-
Der 5. Coffeyville proposes to prove that
II is q swift town.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27

There is some indication now that
''the Interests" will get behind Cover
nor Hughes for president. not because
they admire Hughes especially, but be-
cause they hate Taft more. Now it's
e. case of anything to beat Taft" with
Than,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27

This story that the Missouri rail-
roads will go into the hands of re-
ceivers If the two-cent fare continues
IN thta state does not appear to be
borne out by the reports of the earn
tnEs OF some of the roads
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27

It is sincerely to be hoped that some
Of Governor Hoch's fool friends won't
spoil the good work he IS doing by
working up a senatorial boom for him
1T this stage of the game. II the people
want him for senator they will let 1t be
known in due time
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27

Mr. Sheldon says that during all the
time he was in England he saw only
one train that was behind schedule time.
It would be worth millions to an Ameri-
cen railroad to have a reputation like
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27

Thus far the Knox boom is keeping
pace with the Cortelyou boom in kan
sas. but the supporters Of neither are
doing any Dragging. They have no sup
porterS in Kansas.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27

The man who makes two blades of
grass grow where one did before isn't
IN It for a minute with the individual
who makes two stalks of alfalfa grow
where there was nothing but sunfiow-
ers a year ago.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27

More trouble for Standard OIL: A
man has been indicted for trying to fix
an Ohio jury so the Standard would
not be vonvicted.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27

Ex-Mayor Orr, of Atchison. says it
Is easy in the border towns to have
liquor delivered from over in Missouri.
That will be remedied, however. as
soon as Missouri adopts prohibition.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27

Missouri railroads say they have lost
a million and a half of dollars during
the last three months because of the
two-cent fare. All who believe that,
stand on vour heads.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27

The special session threat is pretty
good Big Stick to have around the
house, but there may be doubt as to the
wisdom of using it too much
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27

Just at present Prosecutor kellogg,
who Is camping on the trail of Stand
ard OIL. appears to be the prize ques-
ton asker.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27
NoN-DEMOCRATIC.

This country apparently isn't advanc-
ing in democracy. The other day
Pullman car full of people showed con-
siderable emotion because Mrs. Long
worth had to stand a few minutes In
the aisle of the car while two obstinate
Russians were routed out of the state
room the Longworths wanted, with the
remote possibility that the congressman
and his wife would have spent the
night in a common Pullman berth sur
rounded by several other American
citizens.=Salina Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27

Senator Foraker is also said to view
with alarm" certain developments
Senator Foraker must be going Demo
cratic.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27

Assessors are to be required to obey
the law providing that all property
shall be assessed at full value. It's a
good idea to make officers set a good
example for the tax-payers.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27

No. the consolidation of rural schools
a not contrary to the antitrust law
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OE THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

And the Pullman company came
through also
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27
CAN'T ESCAPE IN.

But even If Judge Parker does not
run Tor president, somebody will. The
country is convinced of this and is
bracing itself.-Minneapo Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27
NOW is THEIR CHANCE.

All international rules viii be sus-
pended If Japan will send somebody
over to give Captain Hobson a licking.
He's electioneering for it.-Philadel-
phia Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27
LET HIM REMAIN.

James Hazen Hyde's announcement
that he will remain permanently IN
Paris mas not yet brought out any pub
lie remonstrance here-New York
Commercial.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27
IE.,'

If the thousand young women who
sailed from liverpool last Saturday, bent
on securing husbands, can demonstrate
their ability to support husbands
properly. Their is little doubt of the sue
cess of their most fexcellent and praise
worthy scheme.-Wichita Beacon.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27
NAMING THEM All,

When it comes to choosing an eligi-
BILE New Yorker as, Democratic presi-
Dental candidate. why overlook the
claims of Charles A. Towne ?-New
York Tribune
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27

Railroad Commissioner Ryan Is
making what might be called a
ra~ord
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27

While the Missouri Pacific admits
that 1t Is violating a Missouri law in
HwniEg q controlling interest in some,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27
SENT THE WRONG END.

The party who sent Mr.. Loeb that
elephants tail made a slight mistake.
What the Republican elephant Is look
ing for is a new shead.-Washingto
Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27
ANOTHER ONE.

The Oklahoma City Post has sus-
pended 1t had the same experience as
the third paper which tried to make
a living at Topeka, A town Of 10000
people is large enough for two good
newspapers, one, for morning and one
for evning circufation.-Wich Beacon.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27

''Say, paw, what does it mean to live to
a ripe old age?" when a rich man gets
to be so, my son, he is at a ripe old age. A
poor man is merely old and decrepit."-
Milwaukee Sentinel.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27

Don't you find the ride home to
Swamphurst rather long and lonely?''
asked Gilman. WELL" replied Subbubs.
Its long, but 1 can't say it's lonely
usually have a new servant girl with me-
Philadelphia Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27

Hocus-They tell me Jones has got him
self into bad odor Pocus-He has; he's
bought an mobile.APrinceton Tiger,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27

Mrs. Benham-The good book tells US
that we must not covet our neighbor' $
wives. Benham-Well, 1 guess there ism
much commandments breaking on your
account-New York Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27

Mamma; is Uncle Jake very wealthy p
Enormously so, dear" What is he
guilty of?"-Life.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27

''Mulrooney, wud yez like a little drink p
Thanks, Casey, 1 wud.' so wud l."
Then the battle began.-Louisville Courier
Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27
CAN FLOAT HIS RIO

once on the Pacific Secretary Taft
Will pc sure of enough water to float
him--Birmingham Age-Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27
hUNOR or THE Day

Smartly-Brown's wife makes all OF her
own hats! Mrs smartlyL,wel, I don't
them.-Detroit Free Press.
cheeks were like roses. Miss Passay
(coyly delighted)-Ohi come now, that's
laying it on pretty thick. Miss Knox
PA. what's a political LEADER" "a
man who is able to see which way the
whoops in that direction. Chicago Rec
ord Herald.
Really began Mr.. Stinjay, 'T don't
like Nto give you all this money to carry
around. You know, the doctors say
bacteria Turk in bank notes" That's all
right" replied his wife I'll use some of
the money to get vaccinated, If neces-
sary.' -Catholic Standard and Times
Arable Sportsman (to stranger on thor
6Pu ought &c lot OF blood about tia, that
you don't say So Must have got into
some of that COMPOUNDED wire!-Punch.
. Does your wife ever scold your quer-
led the bachelor friend. Sometimes" an
swered the ex-bachelor. But before she
gets very far she begins to admire her
into a good humor."-Chicago News
had just signed the Declaration of indie
pendence. And yet, we unused, not one of
them b daTes e to H b hiS wneT fanne ON
goes to show what an AFFECT coward lord
ly man really is.-New York Sun.
Don't you find the ride home to
asked as Gilman. wei, replied subb9bs.
usually have a new servant girl with me-"
Philadelphia Press.
Mamma: is Uncle Jake very wealthy?'
fS IL
guilty of?'-Life.
self into bad odor. Pocus-He has; he's
bought an automobile. Princeton Tiger,
Say, paw. what does it mean to live to,
to be so, my son, he is at a ripe old age. A
poor man is merely old and decrepit."-
Milwaukee Sentinel.
''Mulrooney. wud yez like little drink?'
Thanks, Casey. 1 wud.' so wud t.
Then the battle began.-Louisville Courier
Journal
Mrs Benham-The good book tells us
that we must not covet our neighbours
much commmandment-bre on your
account.-New York Press.
laughed very heartily when I repeated
that joke of yours to him." said Coakley-
when you what?" demanded Joakey-
when repeated and explained that Joke
of yours to him." "Ah! that's different
Philadelphia Press.
Experienced-sT met your friend Dudley
today Yes? I haven't seen him for a
as ever "Oh, no! He's quite an adept at
It Observation-Disclosures Press.
TITS good idea to have something laid
by for a rainy day" Yep" answered
Peter Corntossel; only that kind o. cash
is a good deal like a reg lar umbreu
Some other Teller is liable to walk OF
with 1t tes as the shower starts. wash
ington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27

laughed very heartily when 1 repeated
that joke of yours to him." said Coakley.
when you what?" demanded Joakey.
when 1 repeated and explained that Joke
of yours to him. "Ah! that's different
Philadelphia Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-27
FROM OTHER PENS
oKLAHOMA's IMPORTANCE.

According to the federal census of
1900 the population of Oklahoma and
Indian Territory was 790,391, and was
pretty evenly divided between the two.
Each of these territories had larger
population than any one of the follow
ing states: North Dakota, Wyoming,
Montana, Idaho, Utah. If they had
been combined as one state its popula-
ton would have exceeded that of
South Dakota or Colorado.
Under a special census. just taken,
the total population of the combined
territory is placed at something more
than 100000, or nearly double the
figure of seven years ago. 1t excee ds
that of Nebraska in 1900 and comes
close to that of Kansas in that year.
And the area of both territories COM
bined is less than that of any of the
states that we have named.
Not only has the increase of popu-
lation been very remarkable, but no
state on its admission has had so large
a population. The difference is so very
marked that Oklahoma may be said to
stand in class by itself. AS the states
stood in 1900, it would rank twenty
third, next to Kansas, and allowing for
the probable increases elsewhere it
should hold that rank in 191O.-Chf-
cago Record-Herald.