The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-24
THE SOCIAL CODE
BY THE ARBTTER.

upon as models OF style and composition.
and by those who have any doubts as to
their capacity for letter writing should be
closely followed. In writing a letter the
rules are simple; first. the address patur-
ally. formal or affectiOnatc, as the case re-
quires; then the acknowledgment Of the
receipt Of the last letter and the answering
Of all questions asked or all information
desired; then what gossip and news or
business the writer wishes TO commune
cate. e is almost impossible 10 give
form for personal letters.
l. Question. Dc YOU regard IL a. conscientious
for person % send down word % a caller ulst
she is not at homes Is not such a statement lie
end isn't il 10 be discouraged Fer instance.
called on a lady the ether dag whom had seen
go into the house. and was met with the statement
that she vas not az home.
Answer: Your question supposes a great
I ignorance Of social usages- When you are
met with the statement that a person is
not at home 70 callers, it does not mean
that she is not in the house. i is the
simplest and best mode Of dismissing a
caller who is not at that moment wei
come II prevents the butler from going
into long statement that the woman
Of the house IS having her head washed,
her nails manicurei and her feet pedi-
cured. or that she is interviewing an in-
sistent bill collector. or giving her i'm
structions 10 the cook for q dinner she Is
providing for that night. Not at home,
means simply that the mistress at the
house when one calls has not the time
or inclination 10 receive any one at that
moment. If a caller is received repeat
eddy with the same formula Il Is 10 be
taken FOR granted that he is not a wei
come guest and il would be well for him
10 cease his visits.
. Question: ! am at boarding school hers
fashionable boarding school. / Suppose ron would
call it-and ! have recently read Daisy Miller
by Henry James. IL seems. from your srtice~.
that sou have lived Tery much abroad Can you
tell ne, IN y0ur travels, If son ever met such
character a. 3lT. James writes abJutt
Answer: Unhappily. my child, have
met many Daisy Millers." more than
have the time and space to tell YOU Of.
They infest Europe, this type, and on my
last trip. a year ago. I felt convinced that
it was increasing; but the Daisy Miller Of
to-day is not the Daisy Miller o. James
novelette, She is "fresher,' 10 use a slang
| expression; more forward less ingenious,
and lacks the charm of James pathetic
little heroine. ! could tell you many sto-
ries of the gducheTies and bad manners
of some Of the American young women
whom one meets unchapeTOued IN Europe.
but 1 will reserve them for some future
/ time. Such questions as the one you asked
/ tempts the Arbiter 10 sermonize, but he
I refrains. because the story Of Daisy Miller
I is 10 oil II
/ 3 Question. I baTc Just returned from for years
in a convent IN Paris. followed b. a year IN the
home Of my sister IN the American colony there. and
/ am nov living al the home Of another sister in
/ Washington In Europe it Is considered great
breach q etiquette for young man ass for she
daughter q the house any young girl who may be
/ living there. His card is invariably sent 10 he-
mother " her c4aper0n, and then, IN response %
his request tl4e Young lady is sent for Imagine ray
surprise 20 receive the card q young gentleman the
other day whom I had scarcely met. but who was
/ an old friend Of my aunts. J took the card 10 M
aunt a. once bff The butler said That sle had not
/ even been inquired for Is tins the custom IN
America, or IS this only fault OF Ilbrcd people,
/ Answer; You cannot expect 10 find in
America the conservative customs that
prevail in Europe. Our standards are
much more democratic. In the best
/ for the daughter of the house without in
( quiring for and leaving q card for her
mother. No well-bred young woman re-
Ceives a man alone unless she is engaged
/ TO him. and even then the mother or chap
eron is supposed 10 appear during the
] evening.
Question; Mr. Arbiter. Is It necessary FOR ran
n take his hat of IN an elevator n business build
FrerTF shr-a fsrrH r-rs d. la
I Answer. L has been the accepted Gus
tom here, and it IS a very stupid and
foolish one, without any sense or reason.
An elevator in business house is
crowded and draughty. and it is sometimes
impossible for a man jambed in as he is
with many people TO get his hat to his
head. If il is a tail hat il is apt TO be
crushed IN the crowd, and there are
countless other reasons why IL is IN
necessary. II is never done abroad. but,
then. in contradiction to this, man would
never stand on the street and in the cor
lridOr OF a hotel with his head covered on
the side His hat is kept in his hand as
long as the interview lasts. and he only
/ replaces it when the woman 20 whom he
is speaking begs him not TO expose him
self.
5 Question. Washington. D. c. % de Febrsro
l907Al Senior Arbitr0, Clra del Washington Her
aid Muy senior mic: Como me en-ueutro en- Wash
ington sin TarlenteS amigos. SCitero SIN nun
gJInO para dirigir mis- Tasos t3talmeu;e extmnor1
a las c0stuuhrgs de esta heImussima ciudsd le pdo
C favor de infoTmarme sobre vari0s TsIrtos de ei-
quota que Sc debs observar aqu qusudO. Dor eiem-
plo, Sc trata de visitar al Senior President de IA
ReUl6lics otros graudeS rersonaies. cue traees
y clal bora debe r. &c. 70 ie sara muv agra
decide por cIalquier ayudO Cue vUeStra boudad me
puedc entregar Con toda respeto,
JOSE DE vILLASIONTE.
Answer: Unfortunately. / cannot au-
swer your question in Spanish having
only reading knowledge Of your beauti-
full language. For a formal visit to the
President one should wear a frock coat
and high hat, though the Senators Mem
bers, and their officials often wear sack
/ coats. getaways. OF whatever clothes
they happen to have on for the day. The
/ President receives all those having official
business with him and those properly
introduced between the hours Of II and
!. If you have never met the President
and have no letters of introduction 20
him, il would be well TO have your cOun-
try's representative. at this moment Mr.
Luis Pastor, charge d'anaires, present
you.
/ g. Question: I have been very much interested in
your column and ask y0u q answer the following
questions: How should mother word invitation
for luncheon in honor Of her young daughter
Also, could you give me good menu for luncheon
at this season Of the yesrf
Answer: It depends whether the invita-
tons are 20 be formal or informal 4
formal invitation should be Mrs. Smith
requires the pleasure Of your company
to lunch with Julia Of the child is under