The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-19
..AYHAWKER .JOES

One of the cells in the Cove county
Jail is full of booze, but it is not tipsy.
Seven new moving machines went
| out OF Norton in one string a few days
ago. Cause, alfalfa.
Walter johnson notes another out
rage by capital: The farmer who
owned the pasture in which the Her
ington boys played ball has had the
ground plowed up.
John Schlyer, who used to repre-
sent Ellis county in the legislature,
has sold seventeen new headers this
the wheat crop was all KILLED"
The Norton Daily Telegram is pretty
well ples sed with the cash-for-rail-
notwithstanding proposition. 1t has
just closed a contract with the Rock
Island for 500 inches to be used before
january --------.--.-----
Atchison Globe: Saturday night
two Atchison women walked up to the
lung-testing machine at the Penny
Arcade. One lady dropped a penny in
the slot, and then held the tube to her
ear. She was rather indignant because
she heard no music, and complained
to the management.
Scottsville Advance: Among the
hands that came out here to help har-
vest the wheat, some queer individuals
can be found. There is one fellow who
works IN a field not far from town,
x,
fails to put on a clean, white standup
collar and necktie and wears them
throughout the day.
"Our worthy county treasurer"
says the Oberlin Herald, "is mad; he
feels that he has been made to suffer
has made it his duty to see that all
wolf scalps are burned. Now the smell
of burning scalp is about the worst
smell that ever invaded the nostrils of
a white man, and every time that lot
of scalps are brought in County Clerk
Campbell insists that Smith come in
and watches the cremation. Every
time after this occurs Smith goes and
takes a bath and changes his clothes;
he threatens to resign if the scalps do
not quit coming in.
THE editor OF this paper says the
Minneapolis Better Way, went into a
store the other day to buy a pair of
pants--now do not get excited, we
had not picked anybody's pocket, We
coaxed the storekeeper to trust US for
'em. As we said before, we went in to
get a pair of pants and one of the
polite clerks came forward to measure
our front elevation and take our per-
spectiye. Said he: T guess you can
get on a Al waistband; UNI, all, length
%. Ali right, sir, fit you like a tailor
made We murmured in soft duleet
tones that we had been wearing 80
length, but We are of tiInid, shrink
ing nature and we did not know but
we had Shrunk up three inches while
talking with the chief justice of our
police court, and We therefore took
the panties home. When we put them
on, and sought to adjust them to the
symmetrical lines of our manly form.
we discovered that in order to allow
the bottoms of the le-limbs to get
anywhere near the pavement, it would
be necessary to wear the waistband
Just where the doctor gougeS after
your vermiform appendix, while when
We shortened our galluses so our
waistband would be where it was To-
Gated by the original survey, our lower
extFemities showed like those of a
Highland laddie, and every farmer we
met asked US what we would take for
them two calves We debated the
question in full council as to whether
we would start the fashion of wearing
knee breaches, but finally decided to
have ruffles put around the bottoms
like some we once saw somewhere,
and as result of that decision our
pantalets are now in the hospital
where the proper addenda will in
course OF time be Affixed