Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1907-09-10
The Go-between.


chickens. I've not only made. Dlun-
der, but a double blunder, in tryin' to
help two people at once. There was
Charlie Burnes mopin' around, pinin'
because he had no one to help him run
his farm, no companion or notbln', and
there was Susan Nutter VIZ ! step
mother and unhappy at hsgne. 1
thought they'd do wa 10 marry, so l
butted in and arranged the matter be-
tween 'em. had no interest In 1t;
only consented to be a go-between out
o. the kindness O. my heart. I'm ar
old maid myself and wouldn't mars
the best man on earth. haint go.
no call to marry. 1 got my own house
and ground all paid for and $50 q
month from bond and mortgage be
sides. so I'm out O. the matrimonial
question. But I'm not the only one
in the world to be considered. Mebbe
what'd kill me might cure others.
Thinkin' that away, 1 told Charlie
about Susan and Susan about Charlie.
l praised Charlie to Susan, and this,
together with the hard time she was
havin' at home, made her powerful
anxious to git him. But somehow r.
mother she got the idea that if he
seen her he wouldn't have her, so she
told me could tell him If he'd take
her entirely on my recommend it 'ul
be a go. Charlie he thought if she
seen what an ungainly Teller he was
she wouldn't have him neither, so he
consented. I didn't see no harm l.
this, for Susan was pretty as a peach
and Charlie was as fine a-loobin' fe.
Ter as ever follered a plow.
The mornin' o. the weddin' 1 helpcc
Susan to git on a white muslin dress.
and when the other fiXin's was all on
she looked lovely. The clock struck
the hour for the weddin', the house
was chuck full O. the neighbors-I fur
nished the cake and things-and up
drives Charlie In his two horse wag-
on, with a suit o. new store clothes
on, lookin' fine and manly. 1 met him
at the door and TUX him in to the set
tin room, where Susan was a-standin'
waitin'. Susan blushed a little, and
seen a mighty pleased look come over
Charles face. But there wasn't no
time to git acquainted, for the parson
stepped in, and before they knowed
| It they was married. Then, after the
snack set in the dinin' room, Charlie
TUX his wife out to the wagon and
driv' off, followed by the usual shove:
o. rice and old slippers.
Reckon you'll say there want nOthln
foolish about this, and 1 don't know
as there would "a been If 1t could "a
been done without a go-between. Y'sce
| there's a natural course SIGH thing;
have to run, jist like measles. y
wrong treatment o. measles is apt L
| drive 'em in In Charities and Susdn's
case the courtin and the gittin' uset
to workln' in matrimonial harness was
throwed on to 'em all to onct. If the
courtin' had been done in its proper
time, the new harness wouldn't "a beer
so hard to get used to. AS it was they
both of 'em kicked the traces.
1t wasn't three days after the we'd
din when Susan she come to me al
afire, and she says, says she, Miss
Shaw, what'd you go tie me up to sich
a man as that for?" whats the trou
ble?" says l. "He never speaks to me
at breakfast no more'n If I'd come in
| for hired help" II don't know nothln'
bout men," says 1, but 1 hearn tell
that they have all sorts o. ways about
'em that don't mean nOthin'. If he don't
want to talk at breakfast, wait till
dinner. Mebbe he'll have somepin to
say by that time that's wo'th hearin'."
Well, she went away only half paci-
| fed, and pretty soon in comes Charlie,
and he wants to know what had agln
| him to marry him to woman who
talked all the time at breakfast-just
the time O day he felt clipper and
liked talkin' himself-and wouldn't give
him chance to get in word. | tole
him 1 was a woman myself ano
knowed that there was times a woman
had to talk and times she had to cry,
and if he wanted to git one different
from this he'd have to git her made
to order.
For months they was a-runnin to me
complainin' because l got 'em into a
fix, and l got mighty tired of it.
made up my mind sumpin had to be
done to stop it.
One evenin' l got out my mar and
driv over to Charles farm. Charlie
was a-sittin on the porch smokin lis
cob pipe, and Susan was inside dom
the supper dishes. 1 set still in the
buggy, with the whip In my hand, for
knowed what was a-goin' to do, and
thought it 'ud be prudent to be ready
to move on student.
Charlie" l says, says I, 81 come
over to ak your parding for tyin' y
up with gal that's got one o. the
worst tempers l ever hearn Of"
1 hadn't hardly got the words out
o. my mouth before Susan she comes
to the door wipin' a plate with a dish
cloth and fire in her eye. whats that
y say?" she says, mighty hot. 81 says"