The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1907-06-12

to them to do so, and we don't think
they will evade the selfimposed re-
sponsibility''
troubled waters of Danville's spinster-
hood at all.
There isn't a peg on which to hang
single romance sneered one elderly
maiden. let alone hundreds of ro-
mances. Let's reply to them. girls!"
'Lets!" chorused spinsters and
bachelor maids. all in one breath.
And after week this volley of hot
shot was turned loose upon the enc
my's camp:
I'VE have read the reply of the Dan
vile bachelors to our appeal to the
city council. in which they make
counter proposition to tax us $50 for
every time we turn them down. we
are. willing to agree to this provided
they will agree that the following
proposition is n correct position for us
to take:
objects" That Are Barred.
I'VE do not propose to turn down
any of them because they are ugly of
face. but when one of them comes
around to see us. fastened to the end
of big cigar. having not the slightest
semblance to a man. and who has the
appearance of not being able to sup
port himself. much less wife-then.
out he goes
One would think by the comments
In relation to this matter that there is
such thing as a matrimonial tree.
and all that any girl wanting hus-
band must do II to shake the tree and
down comes helpmeet.
Laying aside the thought of such
ridiculous proposition, We desire to
present the facts. We wish to say
frankly that we feel rebellious against
the fate that forces us into the COM
mercial world. where we must go of
necessity in order that we may earn
a living. Not day passes that we
do not feel that nameless longing
a yearning for protection. for shelter.
for good husbands tender Ncare and
solicitude.
How we hate the noise. hustle and
worry of the commercial life, How
we hate the competition. the clamor.
the drudgery. incumbent upon us who
must 81 thioh>h aiouC. bdNtiiht
every day against cold and heart
less world in an effort to earn our
daily bread,
Every finer instinct in us cries out
against the coarse. rude life of the
business world. Women. and only
women. possess warm hearts which
have depths and heights OF feeling
that man can never hope TO under.
stand and which many of our gender
are too sensitive to admit"
Thus did the spinster souls of Dan
ville's maidenhood lay themselves
bare to all the world.
Results have already followed.
Bachelors who golfed with other
bachelors last year are golfing
in mixed foursomes this season.
Bachelors who went to dinners and
dances and teas during the winter
months with no further idea that
their fair friends thought of anything
more serious than the latest mode in
dresses or the daintiest CONNECTION in
headgear have had their eyes opened.
Within a short time many sweet Sc
crets may be confessed. 1t Is freely
predicted that If the social upheaval
crystalizes into an ordinance provid-
ing for bachelor tax, the crop of au-
tumn and winter brides will beat all
records.
Things have gone so far now that
City Clerk John Torrance, dean of
Danville bachelordom. has been threat
ened with social and political ostra-
cism unless he takes a wife. But he
has escaped from both by large ma
jorities. much to the joy of his cronies
OF the clubs. Now he has come out
with what is both a suggestion and a
challenge.
THE old maids have taken us by
surprise" said he. We were of the
opinion they were all more than salts
fed with their condition. In fact, sew
eral of the boys have complained that
they have been adopted as brothers
by our fairest spinsters, in lieu of a