The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-02-03
WHIMS OF THE IDLER
Some Modem Junos and Their Celestial Model

these that make me circumspect N
my social walks and cause me to be
as shy in the presence of other Wo-
men as snowbird in June; but. all
the same. we may return to the orig
nal proposition and reflect upon the
men who do get the other end of the
matrimonial polker-the Jealous wives
| That such women exist none can
deny-in fact, many men would BE-
willing to mortgage their homes to
get the wherewithal to deny 1t.
Ladies of this character are not
soothing, II popular report be true. aud
the principal ingredients of the Bruins
wick stew brewed by their suspicious
arc cayenne pepper, horse radish and
tohasco
| 1t may be. as the Queen Bee asserts,
that their veXatious methods are the
| very ouintessence of flattery but 1t
takes a heap of profound thought and
a long cooling-off period for the OBJ
jects of their fiattery to see 1t that
way.
It appears, alas, that in Society's
| most Anticipated bluebook-right at the
first jump of mankind, ndeed--a jedl-
Gus woman began making trouble, foc
| mythology and the classics are fan
of the frenzied fussings of that arah
| termagent Juno, the wife OF Jupiter,
and about the most irritable dame thar
ever wore hatrpins or went through a
mans pockets for small change.
Although she and Jovc had lovs-
| ~ start--they were welded in the Ca
den of Gods, where ambrosial rivers
| flowed, and Where earth sent up IN
! honor of tho rite n tree of life, heavy
with apples golden. like the sunset
Mrs. Jupiter began raising sand from
the very moment the parson had col
lected his fee.
| TO her eyes every woman crossing
her "cloud-c compelling" consort's path
was n possible correspondent. And as
the sequel proved. she was wise
| through all her unwisdom. for as q
celestial Don Juan, Jove could induce
tho prizo belt to come rolling TO lin
by one wink of his dexter eye.
| Poets and others have said all man
ner of kindly things about Juno. Hal
she been the leading lady in musicat
comedy, she could not have garnered
more eulojistic adiectves We hear
her described as the most worthy of
the goddesses." "the most queenly"-
golden sandaled and golden throned'
Grand old Homer calls ner "oA-eyed"
In this connections. too, somebody
might. win eminent appropriateness 8
have called Jupiter bull headed, Zoe
once punctured by tho quilts of Juno's
| ienlously, he cut swathe that would
have given him an exclusive monopoly
on the columns OF Frown Topics. had
| that periodical been printed in MS
| day.
Among the lnlmortal--but very nt-
Observation-Disclosures whom Mrs, Jup-
tier had as her rivals wero Latona, the
goddess of darkness; Alemene. the
! granddaughter OF Perseus; 10, Callisto
| Europa. Semele, Aegina and Antiope
Then. too. there was Leda, whom our
hero wooed in the gulse of a swan
And. speaking of swans. my! what
bird that hcn-pecked old rascal was
/ But If Jove kept the Marechal Neil
roses and tho bonbons constantly NOV,
ing, it must not be supposed TINT
Juno ever let UP on him. She was thora
with the jealousy twenty-six hours
every day, and nagged at her racalcl,
trant divinity until he got fighting
mad. More than once she provoked
him to blows-for her lord and master
swung her alOft in tho cloud & aocur-