davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1907-08-11

for that night. the automobile mys-
teriOusly refuses to go. One OF the
simplest methods is 10 pour water into
the gasOlene Jank. The water Is the
heaviest substance. and sinks 10 the
bottom, and you can imagine that n
car won't run fer with water for fuel.
This, OF course, does not :njure the
car. but serves to keep 1t in the
garage. and the chauffeur has his
night OF. He mas accomplished his
purpose.
"One Of the most serious tricks OF
the chauffeur occurs at a time when
he feels that his constitution is suffer
The Washington times., 1907-08-11
" ~ ~

The poor enjoy what the rich could
not afford. What were the luxuries
have become the necessaries Of life
The labOrer has now more comforts
than the farmer had a few generations
ago. The farmer has more luxurles
than the landlord had. and is more
richly clad and better housed. The
the king could then obtain. The price
we pay for this salutary change is. OF
course, great. We assemble In the
factory and in the mine thousands of
operators of whom the employer can
know nothing, and to whom the EN-
ployer is little better than a myth.
All intercourse between them Is at
an end. Rigid castles are formed. and,
as usual, mutual ignorance breeds mu-
tual distruSt.
The Washington times., 1907-08-11

owner paws the bills for repairs,
which. IL performed at some local es-
tablishmrnt, furnish more spending
money COR the vacation OF the chauf-
feur"
But, with all your ecoEomy and
care of your own machine. is an au-
tomobile as cheap 10 maintain as a
hoTse?' was the next query
YES and no." was the reply. IF
you only drove the automobile as many
miles in a month as YOU would drive
a horse, 1t would be as cheap. but no
one would ever think OF using a ma
chine as carefully as a horse. With
good ear one can reach a speed OF
forty miles an hour over a good road,
and when out for pleasure one never
counts the cost Of maintenance. il is
The Washington times., 1907-08-11

second time that he is
doing so in admiration?
This question was asked by a man
as he stood In the office OF a hotel In
this city. A woman had passed him,
and he had turned 10 stare at her
Immediately she showed that she was
conscious Of this fact, and compI-
mented by H.
She didn't know that he was staring
at her because Of curiosity and disa7-
provaL
The mans remark had cone invol-
UNFAIRLY, for he could not but see that
the woman felt fattered by the atten-
ton she had attracted.
Then the man went on TO say: Just
look at That woman. Everything
about her, both in dress and manner.
is affected. She doesn't realize that to
be rightly effective a woman must
neSer be affected Most men couldn't
be hired to be seen IN public with her.
because they object to going about
with women who are merely conspicu-
Gus. All men have had disagreeabie
experiences in this respect. 1 well
remember inviting a young lady to go
to the theater with me one evening,
and when she came down ready to
start 1 found she was attlred in
scarlet gown. would Just as soon
have taken her out dressed in the
American flag.
Il hadn't the sand then I have now.
90 took her to the theater and suf-
The Washington times., 1907-08-11

DnIy a question OF the number OF miles
that you can travel IN the least pos
sibIs. time. and while It costs more be
carse Of the miles Travelled. II you
should place horse transportation
against car transportation, you would
The Washington times., 1907-08-11

n-w inner tire. and had plenty OF time
10 get cooled of before the ferrybOat
ioade its landing I returned 70 ths
city by the same route. and this was
ths only accident in q vacation Of over
8 racuth."
The Washington times., 1907-08-11

. HE problem OF our age is the
the proper administration CT
wealth, that the ties OF broth
erhood may still bind togeth-
er the rich and poor In harmonious
relationship. The conditions OF human
ufe have not only been changed but
pevOlutionized within the past few hun
dred years. In former days there was
little difference between the dwelling.
dress. food. and environment of the
chief and those OF his retainers. The
Indians arc today where civilized mar
was When visiting the Sioux ] was
led 10 the wigwam Of the chief. II
was Ike the others in external appear
snce, and even within the difference
was trining between IL and those Of
the poorest Of the braves.
The Washington times., 1907-08-11
O.
Many Ways in Which
He Can Fool His
Employer As Well
As the Makers of
Machines.

66T OW are you succeed
- ing in running your
automobile ?" asked
the man with time
to spare, of an enthusiastic owner
of an automobile who has passed
through the entire experience of
automobile ownership. docs your
car still furnish a bottomleSs pocket
into which you are continually
dropping all of your ready money,
or have you reached the stage Of
economy where one decides that If
Is cheaper to let the car remain in
the garage unused than to take ii
out on the road and bum up good
money"
The Washington times., 1907-08-11

are convincing, and the supplies are
purchased Of ", and prove satlsfac-
tory until some other dealer comes
into the field with higher commits
sion for the chauffeur.
Again. the chauffeur has his own
ideas about the number o. hours, and
the particular hours. of his service.
1t makes no difference II these hours
conflict With the hours OF his en-
plcyer. # he wants a night of and
the employer has arranged for a drive
The Washington times., 1907-08-11

~ HY Is II that a woman al
NJ ways thinks when a man
" " turns 20 look at her the
second time that he is
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-10-17
WHEN A "HUNcH" HELD GOOD.
Chinese Laundry Ticket Suggested .
Bet on "Wins Ting"

Kay Spence, well-known horseman
of Mexico, Mo-, won $1,000 at, the
Louisville, KY, race meeting a short
time ago as the result of a "hunch."
Mr.. Spence has a large breeding
stable of runners" near Mexico, and
attends all the big racing events in
the country. Not long since he was
in Louisville and entered the betting
ring to see what odds were being Of
fered on the various entries. He
found that Joaquin was the favorite
at even money, and pulled his wallet
from his pocket, intending to bet on
that horse. His attention was at
tracted by something that fell from
his wallet to the ground, and he stoop-
ed and picked it up. 1t was a CHI
nese laundry ticket. He looked at
the books" again and found that there
vas an entry with a Chinese name.
Wing Ting. at ten to one. That set
tied it, for he considered he had re-
ceived "hunch" that could not be
overlooked. Wing Ting won handily.
Needless to say, those who backed the
favorite considered Spence the sew
enth son of the seventh son.-Kansas
City Star.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-10-17
A Definition of Success.

How have the hypothetical scien-
lists and the opponents of unbelief
benefited themselves or humanity at
large by sowing the seeds Of doubt
broadcast in the world? The real sci.
entists do not fall in this category, for
they are believers in the real sense of
the word; they know too much. they
have seen too many mysterious mani.
festations of the Divine creative pow
er. Now, those who have disposed OF
the Bible and all evidences of inspira-
ton, have written a great many books
and some of them have won what the
world at large lightly calls fame. Ac-
cording to the ordinary measures that
are applied in such cases, they have
been extremely successful, but real
success means the benefit of human
ity in some form or other. II no such
benefits can be,s wn as the result OF
their labors, their success is not equal
to that achieved by the direst poverty
and the deepest ignorance. - Joel
Chandler, in Uncle Remus' Magazine.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-10-17

eyes are scarcely conscious. Were 1t
not for the stout arm about her, she
would fall to the platform of the great
station, under the feet Of the hurry
ing throng.
Miss Chartris is gazing meditatively
at her, chewing the blue-enameled
knob Of her parasol and furtively tuck
ing something in her glove.
What the deuce has happened to
herr" asks the American.
"She is too Ill to speak," answers
the young husband, astounded, What
am to do? We cannot take her on
the train in this shape. She is abso-
lutely unfit to travel. She has nearly
tainted again" For Marina's eyes,
seeing Edwin, close again in apparent
despair.
What produced it," demanded
Barnes. "She was the picture of
health when left her."
Here Enid runs up with her replev-
ined handsatchel.
do you know how this occurred?"
asks Edwin, eagerly.
mot so much as you dol" replies
Miss Anstruther; Maud, how did this
happen?" She turns suspicious eyes
upon Miss Chartris, who cries nervous
ly: What are you jumping on me
for? / was only keeping Marina's
handbag and umbrella, and Edwin's
canes and rug, and l looked round and
she'd got it in the neck!"
Not a dagger" shudders Enid. But
hasty inspection of Marina's white
throat relieving her, Miss Anstruther
cries: Maud, how dare you use such
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-10-17

such as white bread, potatoes, rice,
partly cooked cereals and such.
Starchy food Is not digested in the
upper stomach but passes on into the
duodenum, or lower stomach and in
testines, where, in healthy individ-
ual, the transformation of the starch
into form of sugar is completed and
then the food absorbed by the blood.
But If the powers of digestion are
weakened, part of the starchy food
will lie in the warmth and moisture of
the body and decay, generating gases
and Irritating the mucous surfaces I'M
til under such conditions the whole
lower part of the alimentary canal, IN
GLIDING the colon and the appendix,
becomes involved. Disease sets up
and at times takes the form known al
appendicitis.
When the symptoms Of the trouble
make their appearance, would 1t not
be good, practical, common sense, to
discontinue the starchy food which is
causing the trouble and take a food
in which the starch has been trans.
formed into form of sugar in the
process of manufacture?
This Is identically the same form Of
sugar found in the human body after
starch has been perfectly digested.
Now, human food is made up very
largely of starch and Is required by
the body for energy and warmth.
Naturally, therefore, its use should be
continued, If possible, and for the rea.
sons given above 1t is made possible
in the manufacture of Grape-Nuts.
In connection with this change Of
food to bring relief from physical dis
turbances, we have suggested washing
out the intestines to get rid Of the Inn
mediate cause of the disturbance.
Naturally, there are cases where the
disease has lain dormant and the
abuse continued too long, until ap-
parently only the knife will avail. But
1t Is well-established fact among the
best physicians who are acquainted
with the details above recited, that
preventative measures are far and
away the best.
Are we to be condemned for suggest.
Ing way to prevent disease by fol-
lowing natural methods and for per-
fecting food that contains no "medi-
cine" and produces no medicinal ef-
fects" but which has guided literally
thousands Of persons from sickness to
health? We have received during the
years past upwards of $4,000 letters
from people who have been either
helped or made entirely well by fol-
lowing our suggestions, and they are
simple.
IL coffee disagrees and causes any
OF the ailments common to some cot.
fee users quit 1t and take on Postum.
If white bread, potatoes, rice and
other starch foods make trouble. quit
and use Grape-Nuts food which la
largely predigested and will digest,
nourish and strengthen, when other
forms of food do not. It's just plain
old common sense.
There's Reason for Postum and
Grape-Nuts.
Postum Cereal Co.. Ltd. /,
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-10-17

ambiguous Americanisms! What has
she got?"
How do / know" pouts Maud, ag-
gressively. "She was too groggy to
speak"
1T can't be paralysis!" shudders the
groom, trying in vain to revive Ma
rina.
Not Bit" answers Barnes. after
hasty examination.
do you think we dare put her on
the train?" queries Edwin, anxiously.
LAS a friend, / would say we must
get her away, but" The American
pauses.
Mercy! You have some news from
Ajaccio?" Enid breaks in, trembling.
mo more news, only it is wise to be
moving on. But" Burton feels the
futtering pulse of the bride. "but as a
doctor, my opinion is she must remain
here for few hours at least. I'll get
carriage. Here, Tompson," he says
to the maid who had followed him
from the crowd in the depot, help your
mistress with the grips!"
The two gentlemen support Marina
outside the station, and Maud follow
ing, says: Take her to the Grand,
our hotel. Mas got lovely rooms there"
Yes, it's only short distance" re-
marks Barnes, "and we can make your
wife comfortable at once"
The whole party soon reach the
Grand hotel on the Rue Noailes. Here
they are received with mixed exclama-
tions of surprise and delight and then
concern by Lady Chartris. Marina
was well, you say, only a few minutes
ago and tainted at the railroad station.
What produced it?" cries the English
matron, after the young Corsican lady
has been taken to bedroom and a
wen-recommended physician sent for
Enid staying by the patient until his
arrival.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-10-17
,avE CRAZE FOR FORMULA.
smoxers Follow Fashions In the Use
Of Tobacco.

Make me up package of tobacco
according to the formula used by Ed.
win Booth" said the man with
southern accent That is the third
man who has asked for that kind Of
tobacco today" said the dealer. 1T
Is strange that people from remote
parts of the country as well as New
Workers. make a fad of buying the
same brand of tobacco that Booth
smoked. And it isn't always the Booth
mixture that they want. | have filed
away the formulas for mixing the
favorite tobacco of many famous per.
Sons Smokers the country over have
heard of this collection of recipes and
one feature of every mans trip to
New York is to try pipeful of some
big mans favorite tobacco. In most
cases this special mixture is so
strong that the nerves of the average
smoker cannot stand it. He has to
give up after few pipefuls and go
back to popular mixture, but he has
the satisfaction of having had the ex.
perience The New York Sun.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-10-17
ReIIlna a Rat.

You have probably read or heard
that the best way to rid house Of
rats is to catch one and fasten bell
about its neck. A boy in Delaware
tried the experiment two months ago.
He was badly bitten in making the
bell fast, but he turned the rat loose
and expected the tinkling Of that bell
would have great results. 1t did have.
In the first place, the rat who wore 1t
was constantly on the move all night,
and the tinkling bell kept the family
awake, and in the next the sounds
brought scores of new rats to the
house. Instead of being afraid of the
bell, they were charmed with the mu-
sic. Had the boy tied a harmonica
to another rats tail, the rodents would
have had dance every night.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-10-17
Held Up.

Stop" shouted the man on the
country road, holding up warning
hand. Muttering something about
rural cops, the automobilist obeyed.
Turn around and come back to
town with me-" said the stranger.
You were going at least 35 miles an
hour"
You're a constable, suppose" said
the automobilist, with covert sneer,
when they had reached the village.
"Me?" replied the passenger. mo,
I'm farmer and had to come into
town when all the teams was busy.
Nice growing weather? Thanks. Good
by"
Ensuing comment is purposely omit
ed.-Philadelphia Public Ledger.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-10-17

gave it 10 Marina and that finished
her."
Finished herr"
Eyes, she kind of read it in two
pieces. First she drew up and looked
like-like you when you think you've
caught me in something awful-strong,
savage and horrible. And when she
read the second part, then she looked
like look when I'm going to catch It,"
And them" Lady Chartris' voice
is intense with excited curiosity.
well, then Edwin came up and
caught her just as she was going to
fall on the floor of the railroad
station.
and they brought her here"
rs that everything?"
Amt it enough? How should l
know anything more?"
"Oh!" exclaims Lady Chartris, in ex-
IRENE disappointment. A moment
after she adds, suavely: You will
have no lessons today, Maud"
"Bully!" calculates her offspring in
wild delight; but sets up stified howl
as her mother continues: You can
spend the day in bed"
For what? Handing Marina paper
that anybody would give herr"
For running away from your new
goyerness on the DUAL Toilette. Miss
Marston reported it. To bed at once!"
The face of the eavesdropping
Barnes becomes gloomy. Here is a
witness whose evidence he wants and
isn't going to get. He promptly enters
Lady Chartris' parlor and says: Hi,
Maudie. run downstairs and I'll follow
you and we'll buy some marrons
glaces together"
Maud is halfway down the first
flight before the last of Barnes sen.
tence Is out of his mouth.
CTo BE CoNTINUED3
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-10-17
ALL THINGS IN PROPORTION.
invalid's Meal Evidently Had Not In
creased Good Humor.

For many weeks the irritable mer-
chant had been riveted to his bed by
typhoid fever. Now he was conva-
lescing. He clamored for something
to eat, declaring that he was starv-
ing.
Tomorrow you may have some
thing to eat" promised the doctor.
The merchant realized that there
would be restraint to his appetite,
yet he saw, in vision, modest, steam
ing meal placed at his bedside.
Here is your dinner" said the
nurse next day, as she gave the glow
ering patient spoonful Of tapioca
pudding, land the doctor emphasizes
that everything else. you do must be
Ia the same proportion"
Two hours later the nurse heard
frantic call from the bed chamber.
Nurse" breathed the man heapily,
r want to do some reading, bring me
postage stamp
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-10-17

Mr.. Barnes doesn't deem II wise to
go into details with Lady Ohartris.
You had better descend and make
yourself comfortable in the cafe, Ed
win," he suggests. Young husbands
are too nervous when their wives are
sick"
Taking Anstruther down with him
he whispers: 9" esides, did you notice
whenever she looked at you she
swooned again. Best keep away until
you learn the true reason OF this sud-
den attack"
DO you think it is heart disease?"
asks Edwin, distractedly.
Not the kind you mean. l can tell
you that your bride is as normally
healthy as any woman in the world"
answers the American. 1T was some
shock to the brain or nervous system,
think. The question is, what was it?'
Can 1t have been anything connected
with that horrible island?" queries Ed
win, anxiously.
THAT I'm now about to attempt to
discover" observes Burton.
Meditating as to what the blow Is,
Barnes leaves the young English off,
Ger and comes upstairs, to interview
the only witness he thinks available
the adolescent Maud. AS he reaches
Lady Chartris' parlor, that lady's door
Is slightly open, and words issue to
him that make him pause outside the
entrance.
Now, Maud" says Lady Chartris,
sternly, what caused Mrs. Anstruther
to faint? You were alone with her."
ma, didn't do It! Sure, didn't"
falters the girl.
1.-THE truth, or / shall take you to
my bedroom. You know what will
happen to you there, If you don't
tell me everything" The voice Of
the mother suggests awful possibili-
ties.
Eyes, ma, l will; I'll tell you every
blessed thing-don't look at me that
way. Why, 1 was just walking round
with Marina and / left her for min
ute and a gentleman, French and Ital-
ian mixed, said: You are with Madame
Anstruther? He stumbled over the
name, and I answered proudly-Ma-
rina looked awfully fetching-'You bet,
she's my cousin by marriage. Then
he said: Give her this, with my re-
CARDS. and handed me note. Well,
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-10-17
"BOO-HOO"
Shouts a Spanked Baby.

DDS, has not made itself more ridicu-
lous than any comment of ours could
make it.
Does Golfers expect to regain any
self-infiicted loss of prestige by de-
monstrating thru suits for damages,
that 1t can be more artful in evading
liability for libels than the humble
but resentful victims of its defamation,
or does 1t hope for starting campaign
of libel suits to silence the popular in
dignation, reproach and resentment
which it has aroused.
Golfers can not dodge this public
controversy by private law suits. 1t
can not postpone the public judgment
against 1t. That great jury, 1.-THE Pub
lie, will hardly blame us for not wait
ing until we get petit jury in court
room, before denouncing this prod
igal detractor of institutions founded
and fostered either by individuals or
by the public, itself.
No announcements during our entire
business career were ever made
claiming medicinal effects" for either
Postum or Grape-Nuts. Medicinal ef-
fects are results obtained from the
use Of medicines.
Thousands Of visitors go thru our
entire works each month and see for
themselves that Grape-Nuts contains
absolutely nothing but wheat, barley
and little salt; Postum absolutely
nothing but wheat and about ten per-
cent of New Orleans Molasses. The
art of preparing these simple ele-
ments In scientific manner to obtain
the best food value and flavor, re-
CURED some work and experience to
acquire.
Now, when any publication goes far
enough out of its way to attack us be-
cause our advertising is medical" it
simply offers a remarkable exhibition
Of ignorance or worse.
/ We do claim physiological or bodily
results of favorable character follow
ing the adoption of our suggestions re-
garding the discontinuance of coffee
and foods which may not be keeping
the individual in good health. We
have no advice to offer the perfectly
healthful person. His or her health
is evidence in itself that the beyer-
ages and foods used exactly fit that
person. Therefore, why change?
But to the man or woman who Is
ailing, we have something to say as a
result of an unusually wide experience
in food and the result of proper feed
ing.
In the palpably ignorant attack on
us n Golfers, appeared this state
ment,-"One widely circulated para
graph labors to induce the impression
that Grape-Nuts will obviate the ne
cessity of an operation in appendi-
citis. This Is lying and potentially
deadly lying"
In reply to this exhibition Orwell
let the reader name 1t, the Postum Co.,
says:
Let It be understood that append.
citis results from long continued dis.
turbance In the intestines, caused pri.
marily by undigested starchy food,