The Kendrick gazette. [volume] (Kendrick, Idaho) 1892-1968, 1907-09-13

>~~~.e.~>~~~
"Don't take any notice of the cook,
Maria" "But, John, she's just given
baltimore American.
do you regard that mans arsu-
ments as soundT' YES" answered
Senator Sorghum; 'that and nothing
else. Star.
Mr.. Tiller-You see, the wind was %
fierce that our yacht sail was tern to
ribbons. Miss LiShthead-Ah! l see
q sail Of remnants ILLUSTRATED Bits.
Kind Old Gent-What do you mean
by saying your occupations gone? Soul
weary Eamuel-They've pulled down
the house used to lean Alphabetically
Sloper.
ghs-shs is always talking about her
mince pies. DID you ever see anything
unusual In them7 He-Yes. l saw
shoe button in ono once!-Yonkers
Statesman.
At the Fair.-Givo mo the lunch
basket, wiley. Don't you see we are
sure to lose each other in this crowd2
Translated from Fliegende Blaetter
for The Literary Digest.
"What do you intend to do with your
automobile?' "That doesn't concern
me-" answered the nervous man. THE
question is, What is my automobile go
ing to do with meT Washington
Star.
Dear, I will have to get new dress
this fall, and they say checks will be
much In demand for costumes" i've
never known a time since l married
you when they weren't.
American.
Schoolmaster Cat end of object les
Is water? Small and Grubby Urchin-
Please, teacher, waters what turns
black when you puts your lands in IT.!
Dundee Advertiser.
yisitor-Well, Ethel, are you going
to paint pictures like your father when
you grow up? Ethel should like to,
but mother says one artist in the family
, is quite enough for any poor woman to
l put up with.-Judy.
Wears Wife OVERWHELMINGLY Now
, that you can't get about, and are moi
, able to read, how do you manage to
occupy the time? Old MAXWELL, mum
sometimes sits and thinks; and ther
= again l just sits.-Punch.
;. Mother Cat end of story)-And al
angel came and fetched him away
dear. Dear (who Is going to part!
that evening" -Well, If an angel should
l. happen to call for me this afternoon
please tell him I'm out.-The Taller.
, Ascum-I notice you're very atten
tive to Miss Roxley. Have you re
ceived any encouragement? Hunter
y should say SO. l received authorize
J. tive information that she's worth
e least half a million dollars.-Exchange
A Question.-At teachers confer
e ence in Berlin one of the school princ
pals rose to propose the toast, Lon
live the teachers!" ION what?' ir
CURED a meager, pallid, young assistan
instructor, in a hollow voice.-Harper'
y Magazine.
Mrs. Caller-What Is your husban
doing now? Mrs. Shiftless-He's &C
=. a mathematical job at present Mr.
9 laller-Mathemati job? Mrs. Shift
9 less-Yes. He's trying to figure OF
y come way to live without working
Chicago News.
! "Really-er-Pm afraid you owe
= heard what I-er-said about you
, stammered the gossip, who had bee
1 caught red-handed. perhaps I-er-
a vas bit too severe" 20! no." r.
[ piled the other woman, you weren
). nearly as severe as you would hay
4 ,een If you knew what think Of you
= Philadelphia Press.
:. The schoolmaster asked the pupil!
a Suppose in family there are five Chi
p dren, and mother has only four potato
g between them. Now she wants to gi'
every child an equal share. What
= she going to do" Silence reigned
> the room. Everybody calculated vel
= hard, till little boy stood up and ga
. the unexpected answer. "Mash tt
, potatoes. sir."-Christian Register.
! Speaking Of accommodating hot
- managers" remarked a traveller, 1T
"A best ever met was in a certain Mi
"A land town. / reached the hotel late
a the evening. Just before I retired
r. heard scampering under the bed al
" saw a couple of large rats just esca
q ing. l complained at the office. T
a manager was as serene as SUNNI
v breeze. I'll make that all right, 81
4. he said. johnson! Take up a cat
| NJ