The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-03-25
New York SUM

| (New York SUM
William Shakespeare, who codified our
/ Engllsh-Speaking conversational laws,
made his admirably wise fool Touch
| stone divide the more or less pleasant
custom of giving ones adversary the lie
| INTO seven classes, ranging from the
retort courteous to the lie direct. The
Held of politics is more prolific in ia
nous instances of retort than any
other
! An illustration of the nimbIe and
caustfc wit of Alexander H. Stephens
| of Georgia in a senatorial debate oc-
| CURED on the floor of the senate in a
/ heated argument with Robert ToOmbs,
also OF Georgia. Stephens, although
! possessed Of one of the most powerful
| brains of his time, was lame and had
a wizened little body. ToOmbs was one
OF the largest men in the senate and
was clustering, spluttering type. He
had argued with Stephens until he was
/ hoarSe and became so exaspeFated that
ne threatened to fight. However, con-
sideration of the size of his opponent
| deferred him, and turning he said: Il
! won't fight you, but ] could swallow
you whole" stephens quickly Tetorted.
| If you did you would have more brains
IN your stomach than you ever had in
your head"
| General Charles H. GTosvenor is the
| hero of a hundred WOrdy battles in the
| house. He has a luxurious snow white
[ beard and 4 caustic tongue. One day
Wsliam D. VandiveT, now insurance
commissioner of Missouri, launched
into d furious attack upon the gentle
man from Ohio" and Champ Clark in
nocently inquired: (which gentleman
from OhiO?" The MissOuTian shook his
finger at General GrosvenOr and re-
pied: i mean the gentleman from
Ohio who looks like Santa Claus and
talks like Satan" Grosvenor, white
with rage, shouted back: But my pic
| ture has never served as a warning on
poison pots in pharmacies" Vandiver
had such thin face and bOny frame
| that he had been nicknamed skull and
! cross bones"
The late Senator ingalls, of Kansas
was attacking General Mcclellan and
General Hancock, two federal generals
of the civil war who were afterward
| Democratic candidates for the presi-
dency. Senator Blackburn of Ken
lucky arose and interrupted: when
| General George B. Mcclellan was lead
ing the armies of his country and when
General Winfield Scott Hancock lay
wounded by the enemy's bullets under
the flag of his country the senator from
Kansas, in the capacity of judge advo-
cate general, was prosecuting non-com-
blatant Jayhawkers for robbing hen
rOoSts."
In the old days Tom Marshall and
one Graves were rival candidates for
/ congress in the Blue Grass region of
| Kentucky. Marshall was an aristocrat.
| Graves was the son of cooper. and he
1 was always making an appeal to the
| ''peeDul' by bOasting of the humble Oc-
cUpation of his father. Marshall found
t was hurting his chances, and he de-
I lSA = 20
| qUarrelsome. In reply to Graves he
said: MY opponent boasts of the
humble calling of his father. For aught
/ know his father may have been a good
| cooper. but it is easy to see that he put
a mighty poor head on this whisky bar
rel clapping his hand on Graves
head.
Tennessee bred two great orators in
the olden days-Andrew johnson, a
/ Democrat once president of the United
States, and Gustavus A. Henry, a Wing,
/ known as the Eagle orator of the
south They ran against each other for
] governor, and when a long series of
joint debates had reached its close
Johnson addressed the Wings in the au-
dience: I have spoken with the boast
eS eagle orator from the Mississippi
river to the Unaka mountains, and as
fyet 1 see no flesh in his talons or blood
on his beak." Quick as a flash Henry
was on his feet, saying: The Amer
lean eagle is a proud bird and feeds not
| on cdrriOn."
| Champ Clark, in a speech on civil SER
vice reform, told story of sharp re-
tort to an examination question pro-
pounded by the civil service board. A
man applying for a position to run an
elevator was asked: How many troops
lid England send to the colonies during
I he Revolutionary war;" The reply