davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-07-10
Not His Province,

The New England ministers of early
days were expected to preserve an as
pect grave to the verge of solemnity
on all occasions, not only on Sundays,
but week days as well. If they pos
sessed a sense of humor it sometimes
made itself evident even in the midst
Of devotional exercises.
One New Hampshire parish was
guarded and guided by a quaint speak
ing elderly man who had a slight lisp.
He was fond Of outdoor work of almost
every sort and was an able farmer as
we'll as preacher. but all domestic mat
tiers he relegated to his wife.
One day the old travelling baker, see
ing the minister at work in the field,
drew rein, and when the jingling of his
horses bells had subsidized he called
out, ANY crackers wanted today, par
son?''
The minister raised his head and sur
veyed the baker from under his shaggy
eyebrows. No smile of greeting cross
ed his solemn face.
abraham in the field" he responded
gravely. 'Tharah SARAH in the tent"
and without another word he resumed
his hoeing and left the baker to digest
bis Biblical reproof and drive on to the
house to find out If Sarah" would buy
any of his wares.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-07-10
Two Anecdotes of Beau Nash.

Upon his first going to Bath Mr..
Quin, the actor, found himself very ex-
travagantIy charged for eatables and
drinkables, as we'll as for washing and
lodging. At the end Of the first week
he took aside Beau Nash, the master
of ceremonies, who had recommended
Bath as being the cheapest place in
England for man of taste and bon
vivant. Nash, who loved his joke and
knew that Quin loved pun as we'll as
himself, replied, ''They have acted by
you upon truly Christian principles
"How SOP" queried Quin. 'Why," re-
sumed Nash, you were a stranger, and
they took you ill.," "Aye, but" replied
Quin, "they have fleeced me instead of
clothing me-"
A few nights after Nash was in COM
pany with Quin when he was in one
OF his satirical moods and was taking
of most Of those present in the rooms.
Nash, expecting to be the nexEgot up
and was on the point Of retiring when
Quin asked him why he was going so
soon. I'm order to save you the trouble
of taking me of, think it Is best to
take myself off," quietly replied the
master of the ceremonies. Chambers
Journal.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-07-10
cared too much for your fair name to

cared too much for your fair name to
stay on" So. - :.
II know" she said tenderly; "but,
Jim, you might have left some word
whereby we could have found YOU"
ITO bring me back to misery?''
'To happiness" she said. ''You seem
to have found misery where you went"
She looked at the face Of the man.
Every line was touched by the hand Of
sorrow. Six years before he had been
a laughing faced boy. She could re-
member his every expression. Now
his face had gained seriousness that
became it we'll. He had not sought for
getfulness in dissipation, and the girl
was glad.
II suppose that 1 do show it," he
said, noting her glance. "But you, be-
ing only a vision, have not changed.
Your eyes have gained a sweet serious
ness, but otherwise it is the face that
has been before me all these years. You
have come to me in many lands, Lucy,
but there seems a reality to the vision
here that l have never known before.
I wish that l might always hold you
so, DEAR"
"Wedded to a vision?' she asked
mockingly. "Would that content you?"
ut had to content me all these
years. he said simply. ut is better so
than that I should seek the reality to
rob her of her fair name''
"And yet that night" she whispered,
II was almost ready to say yes Jim.
Had you persevered 1 should have
yielded"
Il knew It," he agreed, land for that
reason l went away so far that no
word might reach me and tempt me
back to your side. Since left New
York 1 have spoken to no one whom I
used to know. I did see Teddy Far
rington in London once, but he did not
see me, and I escaped him, but lately
something seemed to call me back.
have been fighting it off for two years,
but I grew hungry for the sight of
home, to hear the sound of your voice
and to look upon your dear face again.
never dreamed that should find you
here; that we should have our brief
hour alone"
"And are you content with the hour?'
1T is better so. Should stay on 1t
would all come back. 1 think shall
return on the steamer Saturday. II
am not as strong as thought"
MAY 1 go with your she asked
softly as her hand slipped into his.
"Lucyr' The agony Of his tones
thrilled her.
"You silly boy" she whispered as
the regal head bent toward him.
Don't you know that it was I who
called you home? could not find you
save with my spirit and my love, and
I have not called you In vain.''
''But your husband" he stammered.
Gle died two years ago." she said
simply. 'That was why 1 called you,
dear You answered to the voice of
love-"
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-07-10
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

Your sons probably please you as
well as you pleased your father.
If you don't look carefully after your
own affairs, who do you imagine will?
. A good many people try to administer
forgiveness and punishment at the
same time.
About all some men get for their
efforts to be, dignlfied is a reputation
Of having the swelled head.
The greatest triumph for a boy is
the privilege Of being accepted as an
equal by boys somewhat older than
himself.
Don't begin to wonder how other
people can afford so many things that
you can't afford. That is a big step in
the direction of growing envious and
sour.
We have noticed that people who do
exactly as they please, whether their
friends like it or not, get along about
as we'll as those who are always trying
to please.-Atchison Globe.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-07-10
Human Hiood.

Human blood consists Of both 1 a
liquid and q solid. The solid part CON
sists of minute bodies known as cor
puscles, The liquid is known us plas-
ma. One-third Of the blood is made up
OF corpuscles and two-thirds Of plasma.
The corpuscles are divided into two
great classes, red and white, the red
spredominating By 500 to /. Professor
Metchnik q the eminent authority OF
the Pastenr institute. has shown that
the white corpuscles are deadly enc
smies OF bacteria, germs and refuse sof
al kinds g that they may be de.
3scrtbed q the Watchdogs of the body.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-07-10
A Horolooical Curiositx.

Japan possesses a remarkable time
piece. 1t is contained in a frame three
feet wide and FIVE feet long, represent
ing monday landscape of great beau
ty. In the foreground plum and cher
~ trees and rich plants appear In full
bloom. In the rear is seen a hill, grad
ual In ascent, from which apparently
flows cascade, admirably initiated in
crystal. From this point threadlike
stream meanders. encircling rocks and
islands in its windings, and finally los
Ing itself in faron stretch of wood
land. In miniature sky q golden
sun turns on silver wire, striking
the hours on silver gongs as it passes.
Each hour Is marked on the frame by
a creeping tortoise, which serves the
place Of hand. A bird of exquisite
plumage MARBLES at the close of each
hour, and as the song ceases a mouse
sallies forth from a neighboring grot-
to and, scampering over the hill to the
garden, Is soon lost to view.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-07-10
TtiE SPEAKERS MACE.
] Origin Of the Emblem Of Authority
- .i..~ Used In Conoress. -..'

/ Origin Of tho Emblem Of Authority
~ Used In Congress. ~
At the right Of the speakers desk
In the hall of the house of represent
atives in the capitol at Washington
stands a large cylindrical pedestal
made Of highly polished green marble.
When the house is called to order
each day, the sergeant at arms or one
Of his deputies places upon the pedes>
tai the mace, which is the symbol Of
authority in the house. When the body
adjourns he removes it and keeps it in
safety until the house meets again.
This mace is of very ancient and
honorable origin. Under the old Ro-
man republic the magistrates passed
on foot from one place to another adj
ministering justice, trying public Of
tenders and imposing penalties.
Each of these magistrates was at
tended by small body of men known
as Hctors, whose duty it was to make
way for the officers of the law, pre-
serve order, make arrests and inflict
punishment on condemned citizens.
Each Of these lictors carried with
him bunch of rods tied together
with thongs and having an ak bound
to the outside Of it. The thongs were
used for scourging and the ak for
beheading. Sentences imposed by the
magistrates were at once carried out
Those bundles of rods were known as
fasces. When the Romans conquered
Britain the use Of the fasces as sym.
Dol was brought with them, and many
other Roman customs remained with
the British people,
While 1t was no longer used for in
ficting punishment, it continued to be
used as symbol by the early English
magistrates, and when an officer ap-
peared carrying the fasces his au-
thority was Immediately accepted by
all. 1t was, in effect, his badge of
office.
The English form of the fasces was
slightly changed in that the AK was
placed inside Of the bundle of rods,
with the blade protruding from the
top.
The great councils of the early
Saxons gradually developed into one
general body, which in the fourteenth
century became known as the house
Of commons. In all these earlier coun-
ellis the use of the fasces was con-
tinued, but it then came to be known
as the mace, which has remained as
the emblem Of legislative authority in
that body down to the present day.
The house Of representatives Of the
United States was modelled closely
after the house Of commons by the
trainers Of our constitution, and the
usage of the mace was borrowed from
the English custom.
The first mace adopted by the house
was destroyed by fire when the Brit
ish burned the capitol in 1914. From
1914 until 1912 mace Of painted wood
did service, but in the latter year the
present mace was made after the model
of the original one.-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-07-10
Where the accent Was,

Certainly no one who does not pos
i sess or Is unable to assume the Scotch
accent should attempt to play the part
Of Battle Nicol Jarvie in "Rob Roy
Nevertheless certain actor, who was
not Scotch and who could not disguise
his tongue, attempted at Glasgow to
play the part in question. The audi,
ence was indignant, and man in the
gallery called out: .s y .%.x 81
Whaur's your accent?" .s @
zE Nothing abashed, the actor came for.
ward and, gazing up at the speaker,
calmly replied: 4.
4 You've got It," Dundee Advertiser.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-07-10
Tobacco Smoke Poisonous.

1t Is often said that tobacco smoke
is powerful germicide. The COM
position Of tobacco smoke is complex,
the principal constituents being oils Of
a tarry nature. Nicotine itself is a
strong germicide, but the quantity Of
this poison in tobacco smoke is minute
The oily matter which accumulates in
a tobacco pipe Is highly poisonous, but
does not contain any appreciate guam
tity Of nicotine, the chief constituent
Of this residue being very poisonous
oil known as pyridine. Tobacco smoke
contains a decided quantity of car
bon monoxide, which is preservative
and which must possess germicidal
properties. One Of the principal con-
stituents accounting for the germicidal
properties of tobacco smoke Is the pow.
erful antiseptic formaldehyde-
York Herald.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-07-10
ON THE
81 By
LOkIDA Philip
kean.
SPECIAL. 60
Copyrighted, 1907, by P. G. Eastment

Miss Carstairs was not so old or so
sophisticated that she was dead to the
delights Of having three punches Of
violets, two boxes of candy and bun
die of magazines piled up ON the seat
next to her Seemingly unconscious Of
the glances that had followed her as
she came in, she nevertheless seated
herself in her chair with the feeling
that she was a person Of Importance
and one whose popularity was evil
denced by the number and value Of her
going away gifts.
AS if the gods had not been good
enough, however, just rs the train
pulled out and Richard Marston held
her hand in last farewell, the por-
ter staggered in bearing huge ham,
per, fruit filled and flower decorated,
such a hamper as one sees only In the
tropical paradise of millionaires.
Marston eyed it jealousy.
''Such display Of money" he criti-
cised.
"It's beautiful" Miss Carstairs as
Sured MIN.
"Oh, we'll, my violets won't have a
chance now" but it was question
rather than an assertion, and Miss Car
stairs said, "How do you know?" And
that was encouragement, or would
have been from anybody but Miss Car
stairs.
"Ive half a mind to go on with you
to Daytona," Marston hesitated, and
Miss Carstairs said "Oh, do!' and
that settled it. Marston went to find
the conductor and get chair, and as
there wasn't any but the one next to
Helen the porter lifted the punches
Of violets and the two boxes Of candy
and the hamper of fruit and the bun
die of magazines and carried them to
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-07-10
Missed tho Point.

PROFESSOR" said an acquaintance.
you understand Latin, do you not?'
"Well," replied the professor, Il may
be said to have q fair knowledge OF
Latin, yes"
Il know everybody says you have. l
wish you would tell me what 'volix'
means. Nobody that l have asked
seems to have heard the word"
IF there is any such word as volfx
madam, Of which I have serious
doubts, certainly do not know what
1t MEANS"
"You surprise me. professor. A man
Of your attainments ought to know
that volix means Vol TX"
The professor devoted moment to
calling up hts reserves and bringing
his light artillery into action.
1T is no wonder. madam" he said,
that did not see the point of your
joke. You left the point out Of it,
London Tit-Bits.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-07-10
His looic,

A keen business man bought at a
low price a theater that had long been
Improbable and by economical man.
agement put it Immediately on a pay
ing basis. But he was very economi-
cal. He watched the expenses with
the sharpest eye. The first months
expense account contained the item:
Meat for cats, to protect the scenery
and properties from the rats ravages,
g." The proprietor struck this item
out, writing on the, margin: IF the
cats eat the rats, wherefore the meat?
II they don't, wherefore the cats?"
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-07-10
II might do worse than marry Deer

ing" .~%~z ! =
"A pork packer"
"Its better to marry d pork packer
than to have nothing to pack" she in
formed him.
Marston fixed her, with a stern eye
II tell you right now, Helen" he
said, that I won't run this race In
competition with Deering. don't trot
in the same class. You can give him
up or give me up"
Helen reached over and touched the
electric bell. "Will you bring me some
telegraph blanksY' she said to the pOr.
ter when he came.
"And now will you lend me a pen.
clip she asked Marston as she flut-
tered the leaves Of the yellow pad.
''What are you going to DOR Marston
questioned as he handed it to her.
Il am going to telegraph to Deering,"
say yes or mo- by telegraph"
Marston went white.
Don't do anything rash, Helen" he
warned.
II shall do as l please" said Miss
Carstairs, and he leaned back and
snapped out, "Oh, Of course"
She sat with the pencil poised. 81
wish you'd toss penny for me-" she
said at last. Heads do it-tails !
DON'T
II will do nothing of the kind"
"Oh, we'll, 3on't!' She scrubbed a
hasty word and reached for the bell.
But Marston stopped her. "What have
you written?" he demanded sternly.
The other passengers were growing
speculative as to the actions Of the
handsome young couple. Helen, sud-
denly conscious of their observation,
commanded:
go up there and get me one of my
boxes of candy and some fruit. People
will think you are proposing to me-"
II am. Will you marry me, Heleny
mot until you get my candy"
He came back. staggering under
behring's hamper, and passed the por-
ter going out, with telegraph blank
In his hand.
Marston dropped the hamper ON the
seat in front Of Miss Carstairs and
hurried after the porter.
And then Helen waited. A half hour
passed-three-quarters. She grew wor-
ried. Did he care enough to hurt him.
self in any way? 1t wasn't. like Rich
ard to kill himself for disappointed
love.
She rose and went through the train
The eyes Of the other passengers fol-
lowed her. She walked with ease and
lightness, and from the topmost wave
Of her brown hair to the tip Of her tan
boots she was absolutely correct, mod
ish, beautiful.
She found Marston on the observa-
ton platform, with his moody eyes
fixed on the shining rails that seemed
to slip from beneath the train to end
in the sunset
AS she came up behind him she saw
something in his face that touched her
with tenderness. She dropped her
hands on his shoulders. "Oh. little
bad boy" she said, you read the tele-
gramv
Don't joke" he said hoarsely. Il
am punished enough"
III you had not been $3.50 imperti-
nent," Miss Carstairs Informed him, ~
should have told you before that
promised Deering to wire whether l
had decided toto marry you. not
whether l was going to marry him."
Marston gaZed at her in a dazed way.
'Then your yes meant
'That.I am going to marry you, little
bad boy" said Miss Carstairs coolly.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-07-10
MORTON'S
HOMECOMING.
By Lester Comstock.
Copyrighted, 1907, by G. H. Sutcliffe.

The cabman regarded Morton with
amazement as he gave his direction.
'That hotel was torn down five years
ago." he said. "There's twelve story
Office building there now"
Morton named another hotel, only to
be met with fresh disappointment and
with an impatient gesture he sank
back in the cab.
Il want to go to good hotel" he
said. ''You know better than where
l want to CO.,
The burly figure climbed on the box,
and presently the cab was rafting up
Broadway. Listlessly Morton looked
out of the cab window and marked the
changes. 1t was like a new land, with
only here and there a familiar land
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-07-10


the end Of the car and piled them where
the passengers eyed them and then
screwed their necks to get a better
view of Miss Carstairs, all of which
that young lady enjoyed as much as
she enjoyed the distinction Of having
Richard Marston for q travelling CON-
panion.
Think Of my hobnobbing with a
celebrity" she said.
"'Of the making Of books there is no
end" Marston quoted sententiously
think rather Of my travelling with a
beauty"
And both. of US as Is DOR"
Helen sighed.
Marston looked at her. II wonder
why you say that?" he asked. "What
difference does it make
Helen stared at him. Il thought
she gasped
THAT I wanted to marry you," he
finished for her. But l don'tw and
he settled back in his chair and looked
out toward the line of the tropical
shore, where few cocoanut palms
were silhouetted against purple sea.
= "Oh!' Helen's sense Of importance
had departed. Suddenly she felt i'm
measurably insignificant, but this feel.
ing was succeeded by one Of intense
Indignation.
"Of all things!' she calculated.
"Well, know it's unusual for a man
to withdraw a proposition of that kind
in ten minutes, and know said some
pretty insistent things just before the
train left, but I've changed my mind
It's usually woman's prerogative,"
was his easy way Of getting out Of it,
but this time it's mans, and I've
changed my mind"
For the first time in her life Miss
Carstairs could not meet the situation
She simply sat there with her cheeks
burning and hated him.
Curiosity getting the better of her
however, she asked:
"But why?'
THAT thing" Marston said succinct
~ and nodded toward the hamper. "To
think you could take a thing like that
from-Deering!'
Miss Carstairs felt better. She could
meet jealousy.
"But couldn't help 1t, could ~
was her innocent query. II couldn't
tell the porter to drop the basket on the
platform"
"But was so sure you had turned
him down." Marston complained, "pos
1dvely, you know-over at the Break
ers last night, after the dance"
II tried to-
"And couldn't?"
She nodded. s.s -E-.>-..- -:
'Too many inducements? Country
house, town house, trips to Europe
diamonds o LordY' Marston groanet
as he finished the catalogue.
'No." She turned from him to con
temptation Of the scenery, and for {
time they rode in silence, passing be
yond the long line of palms to the or
ange groves brilliant stretches Of vel
low and green that Allied the car witt
Il the fragrance Of wedding bouquets.
Suddenly Marston flung out, Wha
was It that kept You from turning hin
down positively, Helen? 5
She leaned forward and spoke wit
conyic ton
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-07-10

knowledge and timber shouldn't be
much used till they ars. seasoned.
Holmes. z: Ell. .. ,.. IS :s. 5ss.
80 far as known the largest shark
ever captured was one taken III Can.
fornia waters. This shark was thirty
two feet long and measured fifteen
feet around the body. The monster
weighed $4,000 pounds, and His mouth
measured three and half feet 81
length and two and q half feet ACROSS.
. The Oldest street IN the world ID Cal
cutta's principal thorough fare, known
as Chauringhi, the history of which
% g street can be traced back over
9, 600 years. Before that 1t was q III
mon nous ptlgrims' way and was an
probability used % such ace, before
the pyramids wsre built
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-07-10
ITO tho lannnoxfn

ITO the lamppost' is q mistransla-
ton of "a la lanternev' There was no
lamppost. The lamp was hung over
the middle Of the street, in the center
OF cord, which passed over pulleys
at the sides Of the street The lamp
was let down, the person to be hanged
was substituted for It, and the ends Of
the cord pulled.-London Notes and
Queries. = III I'M ssssS
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-07-10
The Hanging Of Picturss.

A woman bought three pictures In a
Fifth avenue art store.
"Shall send some one up to hang
them" asked the dealer.
IL don't know" hesitated the wo-
man, who had already exceeded her al
lowance In buying the pictures. GLOW
much extra will it cost?' =:
"Not a cent" the dealer assured her.
I'm the case of any important sale
we prefer that one Of our men superin-
tend the hanging of the picture. That
insufes Justice for the painting. With
out meaning any disrespect for our
customers, must say that not one per
son in-a hundred who has had no spe.
cial instruction In art can take a pic
ture home and place 1t In an advan-
tageous position. A man who has
been trained to that business, on the
other hand, can tell at glance where
TO hang It and all the others In the
room 60 that each will bring, out the
best points Of all the rest. New York
Sun a5$s. 5s 7.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-07-10
No SAMPLES.

,I - WELL" demanded the stern visaged
woman at the back door, what do
you want?" <-&, 5s..esls>~ p. T.
4 Why" replied the tramp. II seen
You advertised table board in dis
m0rnin's paper
!. Weir !: 5s=ss.: -....
rs s.! Welt fought mebbe yer wuz
giyifi out some samples" - Catholic
Standard and Times.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-07-10

BroWn-I say, Jones, can you tell me
who was the greatest financier that ev-
er lived? Jones-No, can't. Brown.
Well, 1t was Noah. Jones-How do you
make that out2 Brown-Well, Noah
was able to float stock company
when the whole world was Ii liquida-
tion. See? i.s s
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-07-10

Handel had one Of the most phenom.
enal musical memories ever known.
he knew By heart over fifty operas
from beginning to end. -,
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-07-10

4 correspondent asks what Is the best
method Of feeding cattle. There are
several ways. One man might prefer
80 take the OK u his lap and feed him
with q spoon: Another would bring
him into the dining room and let him.
MT at the table with the old folks.
Tastes diner II mattsrs 81 this kind. s