The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-12-29

less It's President RoOsevelt-he knows
eFerything-and maybe Mr.. Morgan.
who came 10 the rescue OF Wall street.
though laws knows what he rescued il
from
every day now there seems 20 be a
Presidential candidate cropping IN
Seems 10 me they're putting I'D candi-
oa'es faster than Senator Foraker can
knock EN- down. The latest one IS Mr..
Bonaparte. though I cant see how
peop!ed vote fora foreigner. do YOU?
! see that nice Mr.. Cannon went over
to Danville FOR Christmas 10 play with
his children. He's the man that ought
10 be President, I think. He's so Old
now that If he was elected we certainly
wouldn't have all this trouble and
bother OF arguing about a third term.
Did you see. Job. where man out
West broke into a minister's house and
stole a sermon? I wonder what they'd
do 10 him II they caught hinn. They
couldn't make It grand larceny. could
Jhey2 / don't expect he knew what he
vas stealing. DO you? cause 2 man
can't get much for a sermon. no mat
ter how bad, The papers say. dear.
that suicide Is declining in the state Of
Indiana Isn't that interesting? and
us curious how it happens just now.
when the output OF Indlanaesque Iitera-
ture IS declining. too. OF course, Mere
dith Nicholson has been 50 busy writ
ing novels that he hasn't had tine 10
turn out any poetry recently. and that
may have helped some. but the Bard Of
the Alamo has ground out some verse
SMILE resting from blowing. and they
say that Charles Major is al work on
another novel I expect the reason there
amt so many suicides is because YOU
can't buy cigarettes IN Indiana. and
then Tom Taggart's smile OF hopeful
ness may have something 10 do with II.
''Oh, Job. they say that that funny
Mr. Wu-hng-tang is coming back 10
Washington from China. Hes been over
there in Pekin for a year or two FRAN
ing % a lot more questions 70 ask. and
learning some new funny stories 10 tell
the reporters. I can just imagine him
now calling al the White House and
80 ---- - -.e-A = a -re4-LdG- " ~ IS
Mr. LOeb2 Where was he born2 What
year? Does ne take snuff Why does he2
Where Gid he buy that frOck coat? How
muca? Is breakfast food conducive 10
secrecy? How much a package2 until
poor, shy Mr.. Loeb would get red
about The ears and complain 20 the
State Department that the Minister
Pleuipotenuary was hindering The ex-
ecutive department OF the United States
government Still. think Il would be a
good thing. We haven't had much 10
laugh al in diplomatic circles since that
funny Mr.. Consekko left here. and the
Turkish Ambassador IS staying az home
nights.
I see they've started q new religious
set out in Chicago called The Mix
Chewers'-nonsensicaI name II seems 10
me. You can't chew milk. leastways
not until il clabbers. and then it's fndi-
gesti5Ie. I don't think I'd ioin a thing
like that even Il Eleanor GIyn was 10
be made president. Three Weeks no
7 haven't read iJ, and I'm not a-going
TO- Mrs.. Dabney told me she set Up al
one night last week a reading Z. and II
was 50 improper that she put IL under
her pillow that night so her husband
might not set It and become contauli-
mated I asked her 10 lend il 70 me.
but shed promised IL first 10 Mrs. Nick
son and now. suppose. the whole sew
ing circle viii have 20 read It before 7
get a chance.
'PittS5urg's getting itself back into
the papers. I see, 10 wonder somebody
said that Pittsburg was the worst a6-
vercised town IN America First of all
they 80 and take Harry Thaw-s name
of the blue lookout that's perfectly
natural, as its been year and more
now since he's returned any social
calls-and then there's a Pittsburg girl
going 20 marry a count who turns out
not 20 be a count al all, and a Pitts
burg millionaire Is going 70 marry an
other chorus girl. and Mr. Carnegie IS
not going % give Pittsburg another
library. and its Pittsburg. Pittsburg.
Pittsburg IN the newspapers until you
can almost smell the smok-
Did you see what a judge out n MI
waukee sayse-that it's as much the
duty OF the man 10 walk the floor with
the baby as ii is that Of the wife. 7 GO
hope you'll remember that the next
time little Haley has the Group. or little
Emily wants a drink-yOu get Up and
set 1t. nos me. It's bad enough when I
have 10 SO downstairs 10 look for bur
glars, and 10 tend 20 the furnace and
cook your victuals. The judge saws
you've got 70 DO some Of IL Say. Job.
wish We were over IN England. They're
going 10 open the bruce coffin at last
and see whether IL was a dead man or
q lead man they buried all those years
ago. Isn't It exciting I wish I could
be there when they open it. 7 always
did love. even as a child. TO see pack
ages opened
Where's Trinidad. job? That's where
the war ships stopped the other day.
7 knew they We're going 70 get around
10 the other side Of the world al right
think Uncle Sans awful generous to
the sailors. don't youe I hear as how
they've got TO less than Two hundred
and fourteen pianolas on board the
ships. SOS II they don't happen 10 get
into a battle they can have some fun.
anyway. Il must be fine 20 hear EN- all
going at once.
Job. Job, Say. have you gone 70
sleep with your feet in that mustard
water? Why. it's all cold. Get up here.
Job. and get into bed. No. you lay on
that side. SOS IL the children cry out
you can get up and tend 10 them. You
are the sleeQiest, And YOU haven't told
me anything about the resignation Of
the Dutch Cabinet or the Shah Of Per
sia's constitution or the Russian par
lament going off TO Siberia on an in