Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1907-07-31
a LADY PASSENGER.
How She Travels in Sleeping Car.
A Monologue.

) sunny III here. ~ Always ID IN Sleep-
ing cars before they start. Can you
get me a fanp Iforgot mine at the
last minute. Yes, that will do nice
q ly. Thank you"
TO newsboy: eNo., No magazine 8
Ineyer read on the train, .particular-
ly at night. l knew q man who went
blind, and they said it was because
be read 30 much while he was travel
ling, 80 I've been afraid to look rt a
book since except when / was per-
fectly stationary" & y6
"You needn't offer me any candy,
either. ! am onla diet, and the doc
tor doesn't allow me any sweets. l
would like some chocolate pepper
mints, though. Wait a minute, you
may give me half.poand box. I'll
eat the peppermint for the sake of
my digestion aud try to forget the
chocolate"
To conductor): "Both my tickets
thought you wanted only my rail-
way ticket. But j always forget. You
know I've travelled 80 little alone.
Now here's my railway ticket, and
where did put the other one2 1
thought it was in the same envelope.
Dear me! I wonder if 1've lost it
Oh, no, here it is. 1t looks 80 like
that last prescription that l haven't
had filled that / overlooked it. I
wonder what Pve done with the pre-
scription nowH You don't see it any
where on the floor, do your"
(To porter: "Whose suit case is
thatp Belongs to the person in
the upper berthP Oh, dear! l
hope it's lady, though do feel
sorry for any woman who has to risk
her life in one Of those things. A
man, you say; well, now, isn't that a
nuisance? Men are so apt to snore
awfully loud, and then like to have
the upper berth to spread my skirt
and waist out in. You couldn't pos
sibly give him another berth, could
your"
To women across the car): every
warm in here, isn't itP Are you
going all the way to Chicagof Yes, l
thought so; you remind me some.
thing of a Chicago woman met last
summer" -. H...
"No, you don't look like her exact
", but she had a suit and hat some
thing like yours. Probably they
came from the same place." \
"You've never been to Chicago ?
Well, now that's funny neither have
I. l am going ont to see my brothers
family. They've wanted me to come
for long time, but I didn't want to
take such long trip. ] don't like my
sistsr-in-law very much, anyhow"
81 just dread this night. never
sleep wink on sleeI :, do your !
don't like to take all my clothes off
for fear there'll be a wreck, and I
won't be decently presentable, and if
I leave some OF them on I get so
warm that / almost sIffocate.'
ayes, and then I can't help won
dering who slept in the berth last.
OF course it don't do any good to
wonder. You'll never know, and it's
great comfort to remember that
they clean cars with compressed air
these days There's less danger of
germs aud all sorts of things, but
when you can't sleep, you know, you
: really can't help borrowing trouble.
Sometimes I think I might just as
we'll sit up all night. I'd be quite as
comfortable as smother;ng TO death
behind those awful curtains"
(To porter):"Yes, you make up my
berth now. Don't forget to put a
screen in the window, and there's a
blanket, l suppose, and make the bed
with my head--now which way is it ?
Oh, yes, with my head to the engine.
never can remember, though, l be-
lieve some people like it one way and
some like it the other, don't they ?"
"Be sure and put the number in