The daily Alaskan., 1907-07-13
wakes da odL Of bis 5i5ap aighu and Eln RImosE haar hIasaIL brayln,.

wakes dH ddi 5f bis sleep D aighu and kin almost hear hisself brayiu',
 Jackson and TrangmigrzsjeH.
 "Perslmmon Jackson went Into do ransmIgrashun bizness bekaze he hoped to come back to alrth as a guinea hen. Hewauted to strut around de yard and SC. c]uck, Cluck, chuck, and once ln awhile to let out one O dem screams dat sours all de milk in de pantry. l met up wid him on de street de odder daya and of all de wpebagone critters I ever saw he was Qe woE5t It had suddenly occurred tp him that be might come back as a rabbit and dat all de boys aud all De foxes in da state would git arter aim and make hIm keep on de hump for twenty-tout hours a day.
 "Brudder Cicero White, sitin' Ober darm wid his ears workin', has also got his sorrer and cant be COmfOrted. Professor Skookem told him at first dat he'd try and arrange.to lave-him struck by ughmin' and come back to airth as a five legged hOss that would have nOthin, to do but pose in g dime museum and eat de best Of food, but when he refused to buy bottle Of de klnk suaIghtener be was informed da- he'd be bit to death by hog and como back as a bat. He's nigh sighted by day. and de idea of dyin' around ou dark nights and buttiu' his bead ag'ln telegraph poles keeps him so upsOt dat be cant lnJoy ham and eggs.
 "Brudder PUrdonable Black has also got his dose He jist rushed right Into uansmlgrashun like a bull gwine for a haystack He allowed he wanted to come back to airth as a mlllyOnaire arter dyiu softly and decently of ap- pendlcltls and then go at 1t and spend a hundred dollars a day for fried 0ys- ters and ice cream. He bought de kInk Btralghteuer and paid his dollar, but when 1t didn't work he complained to de professor. In return he was told dat he would be eaten up by wolves and come back to airth as 8 pear tree and dat de boys would be cllmbln' him from Sunday mawnln' tilI Saturday night. He haln't drawed a breath of comfort for three weeks, and dar am seventeen mo kinks In his ha'r dan dey used to be.
 The Dude of che Club.
 "One mo case-dat of Brudder Co., along Saxby, He's de dude Of dis club. When he heard about transmit grashuu he made up hls mind dat he wanted to sweat hisself to death by wearln' a S25O fur lined obercoat Den he wanted to come back to airtb as peacock. He was gwine to make sich a spread or tail feathers as had nebber bin seen in dis world befO'. He prac- rlced on a strut, so as to have it all ready. He list dwelt on how he would mash eberything for ten miles around and make all de EobbIgrs and roOsters look tired. The thing might have gone through, but de professor got Jealous of hIm and told him dat he would die Of bilious collie and come back to alrth Co be a brlndle bObuiled cat Dats why GoalOug isn't wld us yerc dls evcnlu'. He's sittiu' home wid hls feet in a pan of hot water and prayin' de Lawd to spare hlm.
 "Jist two or three words mo. Trans migrashuu stops right we're wid a sud den Uhud
 "Drap 1t or de Llmeklln club draps you.
 "Befo' comn' to de meeun' tonight l went ober to de jcehouse and hunted up the professor. l caused him to un- dergo sartIn gyrashuns and moshuns for about five minutes. and when ! was frew wiI him be was dustin back tords Alabamy so fast dat you might have played checkers on his coat tails
 "Dats all We will DOW break de meetn' in two and go home. Any one of you who comes back to de next meeun' as a jackass will hear sun thin drap." NJ. QUAD.