Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-05-11
Freak Inventions
at Patent Office

Some OF the craziest offsprings of the hue
| man brain may be found In the freak n-
ventions submitted to the United States
| patent Office. yet the examiners in the sew
eral divisions are required to give the
| same careful consideration to the ''patenta-
| BILE merits of each and every application.
| The law requires this. and there Is no
| lodging the labor. e
| President Lincoln was among the hrst
| to offer an impracticable device-an I'M
| sinkable steamer-the model of which 10
| still among the assets OF the patent Office
in the freak model room. Mr.. Lincoln
sought and obtained a patent on his
steamer in 1s4a. but the patent was all
he got, the unsuitable steamer proving
| a failure. Soon after this patent was is
| sued another man came along with a
| "yelocipede boat" and Il shared the same
| fate as the unsuitable steamer" An &C.
! centric inventor sent in a model for n life
| saving appliance chair In which ship
| wrecked person has only to lash himself
| and float in ease and comfort. supporting
life with supply of bareback slowed IN
a drawer In the chair. There Is also
| corset with air-tight compartments, de-
signed for life-savtng purposes.
| Another man of large ideas contrivcd and
| perfected (as he thought machine Tor
| boring through the earth. Stll another
| had a scheme for signaling and talking 10
the people OF Mars. his plan being TO have
| a grand illumination by means OF hre-
works simultaneously all over the globe
| A man from California who believed 1t not
| impossible to visit Mars, submitted model
| of a wooden man with wings, in shape
| and movement like those OF bird. The
wings were strapped to the shoulders by
| band that goes over his chest and comes
out under his arms. There is tail also
| ike birds, and the wings and tail arc
| controlled by the inward movement OF the
| arms, which harnessed to them by
! straps. There are large number of mod
| els of flying machines and some OF them
| are about as freaksh as the mans from
| California.
A "wake UP" Bed.
An inventive genius. evidently impressed
| with the necessity of getting down TO busi-
ness in the early morning hours and be-
lieying that the early bird catches the
worm, patented a bed which he guaranteed
capable OF woong the sleeper all through
| the night. but when the first-cock crowed,
! 1t would hurl the sleeper mercilessly to the
| floor. The model of the bed looks like
wholesome resting place, full of gentle
| ness and repose, but 1t is not. and bucks
| lie a broncho at the proper time. AS a
| companion piece to this bed the late Chief
Justice Logan E. Bleckley OF Georgia pat
ented a device for adjusting the covers so
| that the temperature of the bed could be
! regulated.
| man from New York patented a
| buried alive coffin" SO arranged that the
supposed dead man could get out or call
| co;c
burial box, at the head end of which Is a
| square opening, which receives the lower
| end Of an elongated box or trough large
| enough for a man to crawl through. This
/ trough is set on end. the lower end over
| the face and chest Of the occupant or the
coffin and the other projects a foot or more
! over the to, of the grave. A wooden stick
or arm is attached to one side of the upper
| or outer end, upon which a bell Is hung.
! To this bell Is attached a cord which runs
down the trough to the coffin and Is tied
to the mans hand. In case of his regain
ing consciousness q slight movement will
sufflce to ring the bell. and the sexton can
do the balance-dig him out. shr-. So
A man who really wanted to benefit man
kind patented a sheet iron cat, a feline
| which works by clock work and which
has a bellows inside Of 1t which swells up
awake an entire neighborhood. The cats
claws are of steel and when the animal
| is wound up and placed on a roof 1t Is
| ready to deal death blows to every mid
| night prowlrg cat in. seven blocks Still
| another man was given a patent on a
pasteboard cat covered with phosphorus
| so that 1t shines in the dark and Is to be
| used for frightening OF rats and mice.
| There are luminous match boxes and lumi-
| nous ghosts to scare away burglars. The
| ghosts are supposed to be for use in ceme-
terles and graveyards. where ghouls are
| in the habit of visiting. t.,...-.-
Umbrella or Pipe. -
There is an umbrella which can be
| changed into a pipe and an innocent-look-
| ing walking cane has a glass tube inside
| which will hold one-half pint of whisky.
| and is recommended by the inventor as a
most convenient and useful article for
| use in prohibition states" far more
| useful model is that of hand sewing
| machine, designed for sewing on patches
| to worn and torn garments. 1t looks like
a pair of large scissors and is worked up
| and down like the blades of shears.
| The short preacher and the long preacher
will find a pulpit for Just his size." 1t
being arranged SO that by pressing but
| ION IL can De adjusted 10 any HeiBnt Qe.
sired. but the inventor does not guarantee
to regulate the length of the sermon. In
| the same row of models is lovers gate
| which will swing both ways and which
| can be raised or lowered to suit the size
| Of the lovers. A violin with a horn at
| tachment is another curiosity. the horn
| being at the neck Of the instrument There
is combination instrument representing
| almost an entire brass band
A Chicken Hobbler."
| Men and women who have lost their
tempers ''shoong'' chickens from their
| flower yards and gardens might investi-
| gate the Chicken hobbler.', device to be
| attached to chickens leg and which will
| force 1t to move onward II an attempt is
| made to scratch, and will make the most
persistent old hen walk right out of a
| garden. There is also a patent machine
| for forcing non-laying hens to produce