davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1907-03-20
MAN AND HIS HAT.
They Are Firmly Bound Together by
the Red Tape Of 5ociety.

There are things, 1t Is a comfort to
know, which ever q man cannot do.
and a man Is supposed to be able to do
almost anything. Now, O novelist may
put his heroine's hat on her head at
any angle he chooses-it Is n of the
few privileges of northumberland
leave her not a bit less charming or
digniaed, but ! defy him to put his
hero,s hat at a rowdy angle over his
ear at a crucial point In his career and
leave him still heroic! The Achilles
heel of a man Is his hat! He must
guard that as he does his reputation,
for 1t Is at once his strength and his
weakness.
1t would hurt an archbishop-and an
archbishop necessarily stands for all
that Is good and great-less In the eyes
of the public to commit a crime than
to WEAR HE hot on the hack Of his
sacred head-real back-and so exhibit
himself to his distressed diocese. He
may have all the known virtues and
many that are not known, but even an
archbishop cannot with impunity defy
convention. Still, If he is so inclined,
why should not a good and great man
wear his hat over his nose without
creating u~nfavorable comment? The
fact Is he cannot. He Is ruled by con-
vention, and convention is the red tape
of society.
The cast iron laws Of fashion, which
is only another name for convention,
are such that If the greatest man In
England were to walk with all his ac-
customed dignity from the Marble arch
to the bank with a trailing p~eacock's
feather attached to the band of his Inn
maculate silk hat he would be followed
by q mob In two seconds, and by the
time he reached We're street the out
ragged majesty of the law would take
him into custody as a suspicious char
acter.-Mrs. John Lane in Putnam's
Monthly.
Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1907-03-20
not there? A sheriff and two detectives

not there? A sheriff and two detectives
searching? My goodness, every n IL
town will hear about it! Necessarily
oh, very well!'
Later another call came.
eyes. Located the car at the Apple
by Coach company? Bring it away at
once On the third floor? Well, bring
1t down the way it went up! Man re-
fuses to operate the elevator? Can't
elevator man, and I'll pay for his time.
They refuse to allow the elevator to
be Observation-Disclosures! Equipped with
a writ to seize property, but baked
because there's no law to force them
to help you get it! Lawyer Elkins, are
you there? Take it out a window; the
wall must be full of windows. Win
dows too small? Take the machine
apart. Gracious! Five hundred dollars
to put it together again? You suggest
leaving 1t there with a sheriff to guard
1t? Very well!'
Elizabeth passed an unhappy night
What would Ned do? She speculatec
about the blond and Mrs. Wheeler and
worried about the sheriff sitting alone
through the long night on the third
floor of the Appleby repository with
Ned's big cream colored motor car
shining like a ghost out of the gloom.
She feared she was Furnishing the sher-
if more than Ned.
kfout paA,.ntt,H d fpan0o Ia yuuor GALL
ed-Ned's lawyer! She shuddered.
"Mrs. Bradbury" began Lawyer Sny.
der, "how much will you take for your
interest in the carp
ITS not money l want" she ex-
planned loftily, but the car"
.sThis Is certainly the motoring, sea-
son." he agreeu, al tile dealers can't
deliver a car under six weeks. That's
why the other two ladies' were so anx-
ious to secure this one"
"What two ladiesY' Elizabeth de-
manded.
"Why, a few days ago Mr.. Bradbury
advertised his car for sale, and he gave
demonstrations to two lady pros
pects"-
line DlOuu anu hrS. WueeleT! gasp
ed Elizabeth, light dawning. He was
selling to please me. What a mess l
have made of everything"
ANY message to send my ~client?"
asked Snyder, rising.
"Wait please" cried Elizabeth wild
ly. I'm going down to Mr.. Bradbury's
office myself. There's really nothing
more you can do on the case"
Elizabeth was smiling On the lawyer
recklessly.
MAY l take you down in my auto
mobile?' he suggested.
"Oh, would your she asked gayly.
automobiles go so delightfully."- quick!
But pardon me a moment. Hello, cen
trail! Give me 5O06 Blue. Is that
Judge Ferris? Ooh, Dicky. I thought
you'd be relieved to know I've decided
on the color for my motor outfit. Red
may denote enthusiasm, but gray Is
much more serviceable, and, you know,
Ned has talked of some long trips. Be
sides, gray Is so harmonious with I'll
tan tresses. That's all. What? Ned
there? How lovely! I'll be right
down."
Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1907-03-20
An Automobile
Widow.
By Helena Smith Dayton.
Copyright. 1905. by Homer sprague.

"Really, Elizabeth" protested Judge
Ferris, II think so much of you both
/ can't mix up in your troublef'
THAT'S why l came to you," argued
Mrs. Bradbury. You see, when n is
married one has ones favorite clergy
man, so when one is unmarried why
not ones pet lawyer? 1t seems kinder"
"Kinder? Going to make it a func-
ton with caterers and iumadlddles?'
demanded the judge.
"At least you will inform Ned of my
decision ignoring the %fippancy.
"Why Bess, surely you've no grounds
for a divorce. You can't wheedle your
freedom out of a court because Ned
perhaps forgot to give you violets on
your birthday orr
81 have q reason" Jelly.
"Oh, ho!" exclaimed the judge. MAY
l ask her nameY'
Its an a~utomobilet' explained Eliz-
abeth. 'I'm what Is called an 'automo-
bile widow"
"a new one to me-" commented the
judge musingly.
We've quarreled ever since he
bought that big circus chariot of his.
l wanted horses instead-I'm original
ly from Kentucky, you know, and l
vowed I'd never step foot In that car,
and l haven't! He spends all his time
in It, he says I'm unreasonable, and
Elizabeth broke down.
Proceed" prompted the judge.
1.-THE last two days he hasn't even
gone through the formality Of asking
me to accompany him, though of course
| wouldn't have gone! Yesterday he
whizzed by with that blond Johnson
girl and today with Mrs. Wheeler.
However, I'm not jealous Of a mere
It's the car"
"Ned probably wanted to show you
If you wouldn't motor with him-oth-
ers would" suggested the listener.
Shows how demoralizing the craze
is," stormed Elizabeth. "Recall the
Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1907-03-20
PREcocIoUs John DAvY.
Childhood Incident of the Author Of
1.-THE Bay Of Biseay."

ne bay OF 6iScay.
An interesting anecdote of the youth
of John Davy, who composed the ia
nous song The Bay of Biscay," shows
how decided and precocious was this
musicians aptitude for the art he ulti-
mately practiced with artistic II not
financial success. John Davy was born
near Exeter in 1765. At the age of six
he evinced a passion for music, which
he sought every means of gratifying.
He was In want of a musical instru-
ment and determined to provide HIM
self with one of however rough a ma
ture. So from a neighboring smithy
he %purloined twenty to thirty horse
shoes. From these he selected as many
as formed a complete octave and, hav-
ing suspended them in an upper room,
amused himself by initiating upon
church of Creditor.
BY these and other means he obtain
ed a knowledge of music which some
thirty years later enabled him to pro-
duce many dramatic pieces and such
songs as 'Just Like Love" "The Death
of the Smuggler'' and 1.-THE Bay of
Biscay," only the last of which has re-
manned popular.
After twenty years work in London
Davy died in st. Martins lane in 1924.
He was buried In st. Martins church
yard.-London Chronicle.
Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1907-03-20
When the Spider Goes courtina.

1.-THE male spider is the bravest and
most demonstrative of all lovers" says
a naturalist. "He approaches the fe-
male; runs round her a few times in
little circles and then begins a violent
oriental dance. He twirls round and
round. Drawing in his legs, he writhes
and crawls, serpentlike, along the
ground. Strengthening his legs and
erecting his body, he towers above the
lady grandly. And the mischief of it
is that the female spider is always
stronger han the male and when his
dance is done she either accepts him
for her mate or else, falling upon him
fiercely, she tears him to pieces. I'M
agine a human lover trying to please
his mistress with the knowledge in his
heart that, If he failed, he would be
murdered. His efforts would be luke
warm and distract, eh? Yet the humble
spider, whom we are accustomed to de-
spise, dances, death staring him in the
face, with a gayety, a warmth and an
abandon seldom to be met with north
of Africa"
Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1907-03-20
Happens Once Every 2~,5oo,ooo Years.

A remarkable freak in moon phases
was noted In the month of February,
1866, a month which has gone into
astronomical annals as 1.-THE month
without a full moon." In that year
January and March each had two full
moons, but February none. A writer
In a leading astronomical journal uses
the following language in describing
1t: do you realize what a rare thing
in nature 1t was? 1t has not happen
cd before since the beginning of the
Christian era or probably since the Gre
alton of the world! 1t will not occur
again, according to the computations
of the astronomer royal of England,
for-how long do you think? Not I'M
til after 100000 years from 1867
Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1907-03-20
TIDES OF THE OCEAN.
Regularity of the Flow and Ebb of the
Restless Waters.

or all the operations of nature In
the whole world there are none more
regular In their courses than the tides
of the ocean. So perfect Is their ac-
ton and so constant are they In their
ebb and flow that the big maritime
governments are able to figure out
the height Of each and every tide for
every day and night more than a year
In advance for any part of the earth's
surface.
In most places the tides run about
four to the twenty-four hours, W. be-
ing food. when the water sweeps In
from the sea and makes what Is known
as high water, and two being ebb.
when it sweeps back to the ocean. leay-
ing low water.
Each of these tides lasts about six
hours-that Is. for five hours or more
the waters are on the move, rushing
In or out. and they cease for a time.
standing quite still In some places.
Sometimes a tide will run food on
the surface while it is running ebb be-
low near the bottom. Places where
this happens are always likely to make
danger spots for the mariner.
In the majority of places the tides
rise and fall only a few feet, but on
shores where the banks are very steep.
falling off abruptly into deep water. 1t
often happens that the tide when 1t
rises comes In SO fast that 1t pours
through all narrow openings In cas-
eade-like torrents, making such things
MS the famous "bores' which may be
seen in places like the bay of Fundy.
IN other places, again, there will be
more or less than four tides in the
twenty-four hours. Furthermore, there
are localities where hardly any tidal
action at all can be observed. All
these peculiarities have been studied
and are taken into account nowadays
by the observers who make up the
tidal tables.
Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1907-03-20
CAPTAIN John SMITH.
A Daring Young Adventurer With a
Thrilling Career.

Captain John Smith of Willoughby,
the success of the first English perma-
ZEN settlement in North America was
directly due. Though only twenty-six
when the expedition sailed with him
on board, he had already enjoyed such
a succession of thrilling experiences as
was the lot of few men even in the adj
venturous age of Elizabeth. At the age
of sixteen he had entered on a military
career in France and the Low Countries.
In 1000 he sought Service against the
Turks, who were then at the height of
their power and had only lately ceased
to threaten Vienna itself. On the way
to the east he was thrown overheard
pirate, from whom his iDexhaustible
resourcefulness enabled him to escape
after q time. He then entered the Aus
TRAN service and soon signaliZed HIM
self by a series of brilliant exploits.
One of these, the defeat of three Turk
ish champions in single fight, earned
him his we'll known coat of arms,
three Turks heads in a Shield" from
S%igismond Bathori, prince of Transyl-
vania. Later he was taken prisoner by
the Turks and owed his escape to the
interest with which he inspired a Turk
ish lady. "Whatever might happen"
as Gardiner says, "he was always able
to turn it to account. In the worst dan
gers he knew what was the right thing
to be done.''-London Outlook.
Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1907-03-20
Diqestible Food.

One of the biggest mistakes about
food which people make is to forget
that the true value of food to anybody
is the measure of its digestibility. Half
a pound of cheese is vastly more nour-
ishing as regards its mere composition
than half a pound of beef, but while
the beef will be easily digested and
thus be of vast service to us the cheese
is put out of court altogether for ordi-
nary folks by reason of its indigesti-
bility. We should bear this rule in
mind when we hear people comparing
n food with another in respect to
their chemical value. London Hospi-
tai.
Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1907-03-20
Domestic Weather Prophets.

Probably everybody knows that there
are microscopic plants which Indicate
more or less clearly the quantity of
moisture in the atmosphere. A strip of
seaweed hung in an exposed position
frequently does duty as a popular and
easily comprehended weather glass, al
though it may be doubted whether Its
predictions are of much value. More
reliance can be placed in the behavior
of a pine twig, which may very readi-
ly be pressed into service as a domestic
weather prophet.-Cologne Gazette.
Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1907-03-20
His Pronunciation.

She-That Mr.. Planz, the architect,
has a funny way of pronouncing
things, hasn't he? Hell haven't no
ticed it. She-Why. yes. Didn't you
hear him allude to a sore throat? He
"A sore throat She-Yes. l heard
him mention a gargoyle several times.
We always call it gargle, you know
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1907-03-20

Don't wait for Dame Fortune to
knock at your door. She may be kid
mapped by some one who is willing to
meet her halfway,-Chicago News.
Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1907-03-20
Cause For Concern.

"What is the
great actre s s
weeping about!'
"She has lost
her diamonds"
Did she value
them Sc ~highly?"
ut isn't that
so much as that
she is afraid her
press agent will
hear about it."
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-09-07
TEACHER WAS AL RIGHT.
Had Answered All Questions In a Sat.
isfactory Manner.

was staying over night with far.
mer, says a writer in the Chicago
Daily News, end after supper we were
talking about educational matters,
when | mentioned the fact that had
passed a schoolhouse about two miles
west of his farm that afternoon and
that the female teacher, who was
standing In the door, was an intelli.
gent.looking girl.
Yes, got her = place. he re.
piled.
Then you are what is called the
moderator? You had to ask her vari.
GUS questions to see II she was fitted
for the placer"
We'll, not so very many. | asked
her about the Rocky mountains and
the Atlantic ocean and who Shake.
speare was, and she answered right
off. Then / said something about
Turkey and how many times 10 went
into so and her answers showed me
she was right up to the mark. Then
l asked her in case my old woman
died during the summer IL she'd mar.
ry me in the fall, and she said shed
be burned glad to, and told her to
bring along her duds and take the
Job"
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-09-07
A Humane Appeal.

"A humane citizen of Richmond,
Ind, Mr.. U. d. Williams, 107
West Main St., says: 81 appeal
to all persons with weak lungs to
take DR.. Kings New Discovery,
the only remedy that has helped
me and fully comes up to the
proprietor's recommendation" 1t
saves more lives than all other
throat and lung remedies put to-
gether. Used as a cough and
cold cure the world over. Cures
asthma, bronchitis, Group, whoop-
ing cough, quinsy, hoarseness,
and phthisi, stops hemorrhages
of the lungs and builds them up.
Guaranteed at Ritter Bros. Drug
Co. soc and $1.00. Trial bottle
free.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-09-07

nights at the theater. Went to church
oh sunday, too, and heard capital
sermon"
Make any calls?"
No. Yes. | did, too. Met Ben Cor
don, and-who do you think is living
In New York now? The McGoverns!'
oh, your old friends. You saw
them?"
Yes, Gordon told me about them
ana we went up there together. Will
you have some white meat? or course
l had a most delightful call. Mary
do you know | never. wanted a picture
OF you so badly before?"
"A picture?"
certainly, Of you and the boys
Ihey'd never seen any Of you and be
ing naturally and kindly curious about
my family they were compelled to &C
cept my descriptions, which, It IL
needless to say, were of a most com
plimentary character, and not calcu
lated, l presume, to convey cleal
mental impression of the subjects"
Hinged too much, perhaps, with the
color Of prejudice" laughed Mrs. Car
ter.
AT any rate, l ielt that my words
were entirely inadequate. For In
stance, I think said you had the blu
est eyes, but that didn't really tel
them how very"
Yes, but, John, they are gray"
"Eh-oh. we'll, sort of blush. gray
I think l said. However, a picture
would have been so very satisfactory
at such a time. do wish you would
have one taken"
Il certainly will, my love. The chill
dren and l together?"
Just the thing. Do you know,
meet so many married travelling mer
who always have their family photo
graphs. It's fine idea. There's
Leadbeater. Well, l met him this time
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-09-07
An Ounce of Prevention

is worth a pound of cure. There
are many poor sufferers, Con
sumptives who are hopeless of
getting well--who, if they had
taken care of themselves, would
now be well. a cough is the foun-
dation of Consumption. Bal
lard's Horehound Syrup will
cure that cough. Mrs. s.. Great
Falls, Montana, writes: Il have
used Ballard's Horehound Syrup
in my family for years-my chill
dren never suffer with coughs.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-09-07
: LITTLE THINKS.

Credit the little things in life TO,
all success and debit them for each
failure. The man who wins has
an eye for them like the camera lena
which photographs stars we cannot
see with a telescope. Two cents
buys morning newspaper, tens Of
thousands of dollars bought the
press which prints it, but the power
which runs the press was born of q
few tiny sparks generated from the
friction of wood by the ancients
Success seems to be capability in
making the spark more powerful.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-09-07
Billiards. Horehound Syrup

Immediately relieves hoarse,
croupy cough; oppressed, rafting
rasping and difficult breathing.
Henry c. Stearns, Druggist,
Shullsburg, Wis, writes, May 20,
1902: 81 have been selling Bal
lard's Horehound Syrup for two
years, and have never had pre-
paration that has given better
satisfaction. l notice that when
l sell bottle they come back for
more. can honestly recommend
it," 25c, SOC and $1.00. Sold by
Ritter Bros. Drug Co.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-09-07
Wise Old Noah.

Noah was looking at his famous col.
lection OF living wild beasts.
Il could write lot of stories about
the animals" he said, that would put
the whole collection of nature takers
on the ragged edge, but what would
be the use? I'd get call down from
the White House as sure as fate"
Sternly resisting the temptation to
mix in, he ordered Ham to change the
course of the vessel two points to
starboard and went back to his cabin
to take nap.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-09-07
Health in the Canal Zone.

The high wages paid make it a
mighty temptation to our young
artisans to join the force of
skilled workmen needed to con.
struct the Panama Canal. Many
are restrained however by the
fear of fevers and malaria. It is
the knowing ones-those who
have used Electric Bitters, who
go there without this fear, well
knowing they are safe from ma.
lariOus influence with Electric
Bitters on hand. Cures blood poi
son too, biliosness, weakness and
all stomach, liver and kidney
troubles. Guaranteed by Ritter
Bros. Drug Co. SOC.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-09-07
CRUELTY TO HUMBLE HEN.
Man Complains Of Mean Trick Played
on Defenseless elddy.

"The meanest trick ever heard
Of" said q poulterer, us now being
played on a certain family Of New
Jersey hens. This trick comes under
two heads. II comes under the head
Of cruelty to animals and under the
head Of giving intoxicating drinks to
minors. It should be taken up and
put stop to by our female societies.
Let the sex stand by one another all
the way down the line" But I
thought you were talking about eggs?"
II am talking about eggs. That Is
the point to my ST y. You know how
hens only want to set at certain times
after they've laid couple Of dozen
eggs running? Well, on this New
Jersey hen farm speak Of they fees
the hens alcoholized grain. and while
the poor, unprotected creatures are
under the influence they place them
on top of nests Of eggs. and when
they come to themselves the past is q
blank. they think they laid the eggs
beneath them. and for many days
squat there dutifu:ly until the chicks
are Matched. It's a money-making
trick. but It amt right. To make q
poor hen drunk-to deceive her be-
sidos in 30 important matter as that
of offspring! How would you like to
be deceived about your offspring? No.
sir. 1t amt right, and it ought to be
put stop to-"
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-09-07
Wanted an Audience.

Little Ellsworth, aged three, was
put to bed one evening when his par
ents were entertaining. But he trotted
downstairs several times, as he wished
to entertain, too, and was repeatedly
sent back to bed. Finally his mother
took him upstairs. put him back in
bed and told him TO keep still. In
about five minutes voice from the
head of the stairs was heard saying:
Mamma, do you hear me keepin'
still?"
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-09-07

Healthy kidneys filter the i'm
purities from the blood, aud I'M
less they do this good health is
impossible. Foley's Kidney Cure
makes sound kidneys and will
positively cure all forms of kid
ney and bladder disease. It
strengthens the whole system.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-09-07
Wanted More Room,

A man who was doing his best to
convince the world at large and him.
self In particular that he was per.
fectly sober. tried to purchase a the.
alter ticket seat and was told that
there was only standing room. He
bought an admission ticket and made
another one Of the crowd standing
up in the back watching the show.
After few minutes he returned to
the window and gravely handed over
another dollar. Gimme mother
standing ticket" he said thickly. 81
want more room to see"-Joe Weber.
In Bohemian.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-09-07
Inc Difference.


Yes, have heard of him. Owes
everybody, gets drunk and goes whoop
Ing around the streets. Keeps Q
worthless cur and has a fondness foi
telling stories beginning, Say, have
you heard this one? II you have, call
me of. Once there was young mar.
ried couple A worthless loafer, a
dead beat and" "Oh. no! You are
thinking of John E. This is his cousin,
John G.. Drives his creditors into
bankruptcy, runs over people with his
imported 60-horse power automobile,
owns a $4,000 fighting dog, talks SC
loudly in his box at the opera that he
infuriates those who think music was
made to be listened to, reads novels IN
French, and" "Ah, l see!-strange
should make such mistake--a we'll
Known man-about-town."-