The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1907-10-22
MIR ON KISSING
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By DOROTHY DIX.

sDe odder day" remarked Mirandy.
Ma Jane was rea3in' To rs boat
ia woman. IN Pennsylvania who XIII
r. hrsbzr4 becazs when he come
home at night from his work he for
got 10 kiss her
My gracious 'sclaims Ike wtd a
sort or oneazy look al me. / hopes DAT
habit amt a-gwine 10 GET ePe1e
non married n
Don't fret yourself none. l spons
EFF DER husbands was u pass up &c
evenin' kis an de dluIaloh'
mos OF de married women / knows
never would find hit out Dere am |
nothin' in a ham and eggs peek on de
cheek To grave hit pm de tables OF 70
memory, dat l kin see, an why any
woman saw fit to raise a fuss bout
missin' one OF notwithstanding
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES married
kisses sho' does git away wic me :.
Don't you believe in de conjugal
kiss? axes Ike, iookin' sorter muf-
fled.
mot when hits kept on ice. spoons
I. I lax my kisses lax / does my
soup, warm an tasty, an when dey
gifts lukewarm and fat. had jest as
ruther dray 'em on de bin OF fare. Eff
dere is anything dat does make 2
woman feel lax takin' a rollin pin 10
her husband hit IS for him 70 put on
his hat an git as far as de 'front.' 90
an den look whar he's tied q knot
in his handkerchief to remind him
of somethin'. an den come back an
give her a bus dat's des as liable 70
light on de back OF her haid or de
burr of her ear, or de tip OF her nose
as any whar else, an den Tor him 70
start wild a light heart, an de express
sion of one dat is done his duty an
thanks Cord he's got hit OH MS
mis- !.
Well says Ike, wild a sort Of
guilty look lax de cap mought fit him,
'dere amt no particular relish IN kiss
in a lady whut has got on a mother
hubbard an her Yesterdays pompa-
dour, an dat is p~ervaded BY de per-
fume of de fried onions an liver dat
she cooked for breakfast. I amt a
sym nothin' ag'inst her wukin' clothes
nor nuther is 1 castin' any in~sinuatons
ag'inst de onions an liver. Dey an
good in DER places, but dey don't
seem to sagashuate well wild kisses
De mixture don't whet yo' appetite for
mo-, OATS ALL
Oats right spoons I, an furder-
mo- de act dat de lady has to git
UP an fry de liver don't put her IN
no kissin' humor. She amt in no
mo- romantical state of mind dan de
man is an she'd a lot ruther her
husband would give her . cents IN
cold cash dat she could spend lax
she pleases lar dat chaste avn
/ SdlUe- I'll ueIc va an. AlAdA 49, -
husbands good-by kisses, you could
buy a million bushels Of 'em for 10
cents
Dem DOCTOR men says dat kisses
is moughty dangerous. Dat dere IS
microbes in en- says Ike, kind OF
hedgin.'
"'Dere's somethin' a lot worse dan
microbes spoons /; dere's thermom-
eters in kisses, an dereain't no way
dat yu kin tell bout de fall off an
de cool off of owe lax o kin in
kisses. Eff you is a gifted enough
liar, you kin DOL anybody wild wodrs.
but betwixt de Il am dyin' to- an
de 81 got to kiss is all de difference
betwist a mustard plaster an a clam.
Many a wife never would nave found
out dat her husband had ceased to
low her eff she didn't have to com
| pare de skiddoo smack dat she gifts
nowadays wild de long, lingeTin' kiss
dat she used to git.
"'Befo' marriage q man begs, when
he's startin' home, for one %leetle,
teenty, Weenty kiss no. After he Is
married when he's startin' away from
home, he says to hisself dat one
leetIe. teenty, Weenty kiss mo- will
do. Befo' marriage he kisses for
loves sake, an de unny part Of de
thing is dat the wives amt no fonder
o receivin' desc duty kisses dan de
husband is of givin' EN-. Hit suddinly
does riIe any woman dat considers
herself a pretty goodl ooker, a f%ascina-
tor, an dat amt got 10 manner of
doubt dat eff de good Lawd
saw fittin' to remoy her
des as good. an maybe better, to be
kissed in a absent-minded sort Of way
an wild an expression on de mans face
as eff he was gittin' through one regu-
lar chores.
"Darefore, hits m~yopfnion, dat in
eta Of helm q means of GRACE 1aL HIT
is cracked up to be. dat de daily kiss
is de fust aid to de divorce courts. Eff
husbands an wives would kiss each
odder once a year when dey felt lax
hit, dere wouldn't be SO many busted
homes. for a kiss amt always a token
of love. Dere's Judas kisses dat be-
trays. an for my part I is always sus-
picious of desc folks OATS too affec-
t~ionate. especially in public. Hit
looks lax dey is tryin' to sugar-coat de
situation
Hits a good thing says Ike, to
keep up de habit of family affection
""Habit of affection de cats foot
'sc1airs I. 'Dere amt no sech thing.
You don love a pusson from force
of habit, You loves EN- becaze YOU
does. Eff habit does anything to love,
hit axes the futter an de jump out
of hit, lax hit does to have anybody
try to scare you. De fust time dey
springs out at pou from an onexpect-
ed place hit raises de hair on YOU
haid. De next time hit kinder startles
you. but de mex time o say. "Oh,
go long ar don't bodder me-
But. after all. a kiss is des de
icin' on de cake of love. Hit amt
de cake hitse!f, an becaze after a
man has been married to a woman
bout ten years he gifts SO he don't
take no interest in de p~roceedin's, an
is liable to forgit hit when he's gwine
to do somethin' wild q real heart
thrill in hit, lax goin' to de ball game,
or to meet q man dat he thinks he's
gwine to sew uD in a sack in a trade.
amt no sign dat he amt got n
moughty serviceable brand of affec-
ton lef' for is wife.
An dat's whut I tells Sis Mimy
when she come to me de odder day
a-Weepin' an a mournin' an assay +
in dat Br'er Jake suttinly has quit
1ovin' her.
'TWhu does you prognosticate de
doubts upon, Sis Mirny?' I axes her.
is he TOXIN to stayin' out at night?"
nc Sis Mirandy.' spoons she.