davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30
What Is the Grippe?

What is this malady which our wise
physicians call grippe? What is it,?
1t is time for them 10 tell us
They have been tinkertng it for fifteen
OF twenty years. but thus far they have
found no sovereign remedy. no specific,
no amelioration. Young and old, poor
and rich alike are it's victims. From
ocean TO ocean and from the Great Lakes
to the Gulf, il RACES. The doctors tell US
that it is a sort of influenza or epidemic
catarrh If il is. why don't they know
how TO cure it?
These doctors Of ours are just begin
ming TO learn that the "after-effects" Of
/ the grippe are its worst and most dan
! ger0us stages. We happen to know that
in one OF the minor hospitals Of this
town there have been eight operations
! within the past three weeks for mastoid-
/ tits. which. the physicians say, was the
| result or "after-effect," of the grippe
/ Mast0iditis is an Inflammation Of that
/ inner pr0tuberance Of the temporal bone
/ known as the mastoid process, situate be-
| hind the ear Usually the Inflammation
attacks the right mast0id process. The
| victims life is endangered. because all
| cranial operations are capital. Mastoid-
! tits is traced by the doctors directly TO
/ the grippe They do not regard the
/ grippe per Sc as a serious ailment. or at
/ least they used not to do so, and they
/ have paid little attention TO it, But now
! that its "after-ehects" are manifesting
| themselves in such curious and danger
! GUS ways. they are bestirTing themselves
/ to check the disease in its incipieney.
Our physicians do not yet know the etiol-
| ogy Of the grippe. or else some of them
would discover a remedy. 1t appears.
from their inadequate diagnosis. that it
belongs 10 the general class of maladies
known as colds" or catarrh, but the
/ remedies for colds" do not stop the
grippe. 1t was first heard of about
twenty years ago. At that time it was
considered a sort ef joke, and its victim
was subjected TO the same kind of good
natured raiIlery with which the person
l-suffering from the torturing twinges of
the govt is assailed. But now that mas
toiditis and other dangerous ''after-ef-
fects" are traced 10 this maiady. the
/ grippe can no longer be regarded as a
joke. 1t Is laying low thousands in the
land, and those who survive the neces-
sary surgical operations in one form and
another are seldom ever restored TO ro-
bust health
Wherefore We pray cur doctors to ger
busy" and give us relief from the grlnna
Let them cure il at the start. that is
what is needed. All Of US, Of course.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30
TUESDAY. APRIL 80 1897.
Trnc Method of RECON-. .

Edmund Burke's great speech on
economical reform furnished President
Roosevelt with a quotation most aptly
employed to illustrate the exact spirit
in which this country should move to the
reform Of the abuses Of corporate wealth ."
IF l cannot reform with equity" said
Burke. 4 will not reform at all" This
sentiment. which the President adopted
as his own, will be thought by many one
Of the most significant expressions of his
jamestown speech, as indicating a tenn
perateness Of disposition toward persons
responsible for public abuses. while spar
ing no zeal in the abolition of the abuses
themselves. Burke's warfare was directed
against parliamentary corruption, main
tanned and perpetuated by means of the
civil list, Offices under the crown being
regularly traded for votes in Parliament
There was a strong popular movement
for "a reconstruction Of Parliament, but
Burkes political sagacity discerned the
true cause Of the evil and the true course
10 be pursued Ia its eradication
AT a moment when committees and
petitions and great county meetings
HiANWE4 INV Ati1iDti 1879 Al-E 4aAANALctA
anger was reused against the existing
system" writes John Morley, in the
sketch OF Burke from which the Presi-
dent drew his quotation, Burke came 10
the front Of affairs with a scheme Of
which the most striking characteristic
proved TO be that it was profoundly
temperate Bent on the extirpation OF the
system. he had no III viii toward the
men who had happened to flourish In it.
I win never suffer- he said. any man or
description of men 10 suffer from errors
that naturally have grown out Of the
abusive constitution Of those Offices which
/ propose TO regulate. If l cannot reform
with equity, / viii not reform at all.
Many years afterward he took credit 70
himself less for what he did on this &C.
casiOn than for what he prevented from
being done. People were ready for a new
modelling of the two houses Of Parliament
as well as for grave notifications OF the
prerogative. Burke resisted this temper
unfinchingly. 4 had he says. "a state
to preserve as wei as a state TO reform
I had a people 70 crafty, but not to in
flame or mislead. -
The passage We have quoted which OBJ
viously made impression on the PTesi-
dents mind, is exceedingly suggestive OF
the true method Of reform, for reform
always commends itself more to the
Anglo-Saxon mind when it pursues a
temperate and conservative course than
when it adopts the turbulent and destruc-
tive way Of the violent and the thought
less and the ignorant. Mr.. Roosevelt has
chosen the method of Burke. whose noble
passion for right inspired his action and
his public utterance. He has. like Burke
a people 70 crafty, but not 10 infame OF
misiead. That is a rule of public con
duct worthy a place beside the one Mr.
Roosevelt quoted. We hope he will stick
closely to both of them.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30
Irrigation in Kansas.

They do things differently in Kansas.
AS that State is unique In products. in
habitants. and ideas, so is it unique IN
legislation. But Kansas is all right; the
farmers wear diamonds and ride In auto
mobiles, while the land flows with milk
and honey the while People who are
prone TO laugh at Kansas Will do well 10
look into the joke before emitting the
guffaw.
The latest legislation proposed in Kansas
IS known as the red can bill" It pro-
vides that dealers cannot sell kerosene
Nor gasoline in any receptacle other than
a red and properly labeled can; nor is il
lawful, under the act, TO sell anything
but kerosene or gasoline in such a can
The bill, which may seem foolish on its
face 10 the unthinkng, has been hailed
with undisgused delight. not TO say ex-
ceedlng JOY, by Kansans. and seems likely
10 win for its introduCer undying fame
and mayhap the governorshipi
You see. Kansas is a prohibition State
and You never can tell what is in q
Kansas can by simply reading the Kansas
label. Kansas labels are pious frauds, as
rule. Under a highly innocent appear
ing and extremely reassuring Kansas
label oft repOses strictly prohibited fluid
extracts and strong drink Without these
necessary evils, Kansas would be but Z
dreary waste. indeed. TO Kansas, and tn,
farmers diamonds would be but a hollow
mockery a delusion and a snare!
Hence, the redeem bill" II doesnr
matter much 10 a weary and a thirsty
deRizen Of Sockless JeTTy's eTstWhil,
abode what is in the can. provided it /,
not kerosene. OF some kindred product
It was to protect themselves against en-
barrassing mistakes IN the important
matter OF iiquidating in Kansas that tn.
bin was made and provided. That IN,
statesman who conceived It is a patriot
all Kansas proudly acclaims. That hi.
labor and foresight shall not go unre
warded is evident from the prevailing en-
thusiasm and the loud cheering inciden
TO the merest mention Of his name.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30
..ESaIkir, and ..Faker..

From the Nashville American
The New York Times has been taken
to task by a critic for confusing the
words "faker' and "fakir." A faker is
one who fakes, a trickster. while fakir
IS a sort Of religious beggar or devotee
of the Orient. It is pronounced "fa-keer."
The two words are constantly confused in
this country. or rather the word faker.
the word usually meant, is seldom used.
1t has a rather slangy sound. and many
writer's use it. though it is a legitimate
word
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30

ike and trust our doctor. When we are
well we do net think much OF him; but
let the slightest ailment attack us. and
we demand his ministering presence i'm
n1ediateIy, if not sooner But If he
cure us not OF the grippe and permit its
''after-effects" TO demand the surgeons
knife-well. then we are pretty apt to
conclude that he doesn't know his bust
ness.
II one of the minor hospitals in this
town within the past three weeks oper-
ated on eight cases of mastoiditis. how
many victims OF this "after-effect'' Of the
grippe have had their heads bored into
BY surgeons at all the other hospitals?
And how many Of them have survived
this operation?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30
worl.ing a RnIe BOD ~.

From the Baltimore American.
When a young woman's heart Is broken
by tickle suitor she is considered JUS
titled ia claiming damages in q good
round sum for the breakage, With su-
perior masculine business instinct a young
man in New York has started a precedent
by handing in an itemized bin Of the ex-
ponses of courtship when the fair one
proved false The male heart may be
tougher in its breakages than that OF the
more susceptible sex. but the money plas-
ter is quite as edicacious in the one case
as IN the other. and Il does seem that It
is hardly fair 10 leave the unlucky swain
with an empty purse as wen as with r
denuded heart.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30
Bullock Not a southerner.


Rufus Brown Bullock. the ex-governor
of Georgia. VINO died a few days ago near
ALBANY, n. Y, was the chief executive
of the Go0ber State ia the exciting days
Immediately following the civil war He
was neither a SOutherner nor a carpet
Dagger. although he assisted materially in
the political reconstruction Of Georgia.
He went 10 the State from the North be-
fore the outbreak of the great war, and
fought four years ia the Confederate
army He was governor Of Georgia when
the fifteenth amendment TO the Constitu-
ton was adopted. and. but for his steady
hold on affairs in his State, that amend
ment might have failed to receive the re-
quired number Of votes. Gov. Bullock
was IN no way related 70 the Georgia fam
lily to which President Rooseyelts mother
belonged. The family name Of the Presi-
dents mother was Bull0ch. not Bullock.
Gov. Bullock was one Of the first tele-
graph operators 10 learn TO receive rapid
~ the Morse code in dots and dashes. He
was then living in Philadelphia and his
mastery Of that art was soon followed by
all the telegraph operators in the coun-
try. When he was an operator in Phila-
utiPitia TIRE tctrBi dph bQhincTe ot tHt touh-
try was done by numerous small cOmpa-
MES. Il was an his suggestion that these
small concerns were united in one large
company and this was the basis for the
Great Western Union.
A popularity Of Gov. Bullock was that.
although a big and easy money maker
he spent his income as fast as he earned
IL. and carried "A large life insurance His
motto was 70 earn money live Well and
instead Of holding your earnings, carry
good life Insurance for the protection OF
your family.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30
First Hand Information.

From the Omaha Bee
The Bureau of Labor at Washington
has spent months compiling statistics 70
prove that the price of living In 1905 was
the highest for a period of seventeen
years The bureau might have saved
time by interviewing a few housewives
oa the subject
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30
TAMPERINC WITH TRIPLES.

From the Houston Post
sHIFTLEss.
Don't say shiHglc-bolts 70 me.
Ner set me a-peelin bark
When the dogs air runnln free,
l just have ter pause an bark
To their racket girtin' near
What they're chasin. and ] hear
Them a-calin' loud an clear.
And I'm with 'em, light or dark.
Don't set me a splittln rails.
Don't set me a-skinnin' poles;
Give me cricks where teeter-tails
Laugh and wade. an from their holes
Squirrels look an scold at you,
And from far comes the halloO
OF the pack a-crashin' thro';
Works fer fellers without s0uIsi
Works fer these here ducks that plods.
Never gittin anywhere.
Hopeless. thoughtless, brainless clods,
Bowin' down beneath their cares;
But fer me the wild hallo0.
An the dogs a-crashin' thro'
Nights dim ways bedreuched with dew
Hikln' where their quarry fares
And the squirmy rushin crick,
And the shadows In the sun,
An the cast. alert an quick.
Where the trout an graylin' run,
An the singin, whizz.n reel,
And the wild, ecstatic feel
That along my pulses steal
When the battle is begun
Go an cut your sEingle-bolts,
Cut your posts an tanbark. too.
You are blind. unseein d0its.
Work!n every daytime thrO'.
And when the years end is nigh,
Put your work an frettin' by
Long enough ter see that I
Am lots better offu you.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30
MEN AND THINGS.
&c PresIdent,s HeaIth.

For a month or more the country has
been filed with rumors that President
Roosevelts health was failing. that he
showed signs Of suffering from an un-
was irritable. &c, and very badly needed
a rest. The fact is that Mr.. Roosevelt Is
enjoying robust health, he is not peeviSh,
and is IN no need of rest more than ne
generally is at this time of year. He
takes his usual amount Of exercise every
day. his appetite Is vigorous aud his spir-
its seem just as high as when he first en-
tered the White House. five and a half
years ago.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30
4 Bounnet for Chicago.

From the Pittsburg Dispatch.
Our Chicago contemporaries are making
much over the medical announcement
that PittsburgeFs have 'pneum0nokonio-
sis, or smoke-colored lungs. It is not
strange that they should consider it
vital Chicago life is so largely conducted
by an extreme consumption of wind that
It would be a serious matter there to
have the wind adulterafed.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30
Last call for an April shower!

A New York fnancier. writing Of pro-
posed bond theft, says: 1t was decided
to steal a million dollars at the proper
time" Among captains of industry, the
time 10 steal a million dollars Is any old
time Won can GET vonr hands on il
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30
Had to Get Angry.

why are you always quarreling with
your wife?"
she is always arguing with me-
But YOU need not get angry; just ex-
plain to her in calm, gentle tone OF
voice wherein she is wrong"
But she is never wrong"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30

People visiting the jamestown Expo
sition viii doubtless be shown the sofa
upon which Pocahontas sat while being
courted by Capt John Smith" says the
Des M0ines Capital This viii be quite
a novelty, too. in view of the fact that
the gallant Capt. Smith never courted
the Indian princess.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30
Making Her stay.

We've got a dandy cook at our house.
young, white, pretty. and capable. "
Gee. You want 60 try to keep her"
Yes; I'm going home 10 start quarrel
with her now, and demand of nay wife
that she fire her"
Why in the world are YOU going 20 do
that2"
so my vi<e 7tlI keep her"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30
Never Ready

From the Philadelphia Public Ledger.
The exposition was not ready to open.
Nevertheless it was opened.
while we're progressive, and are Civ
ing the biggest show ever" said the
management, we hope we have proper
respect for precedent"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30
EcOnOnizing.

The very latest formula
To bring a growth OF hair
Onto the peTicra NUNS
That were Of erst quite bare,
Is 10 breathe long and deeply,
And breathe with all your might.
And keep 1t up, use an your lungs,
And use them day and night.
No doubt John Rockefeller
Don't breathe just as he should;
If he used his lungs every day
They wouldn't be so good.
To judge John by the mass of hair
That isn't on his poll
Gives one a faint suspicion
That he doesn't breathe at all.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30
shelving Mr.. RnoseveIt.

From the Philadelphia Press.
Those folks who are trying 70 shelve
President Roosevelt by talking a third
term might recall how another coterie
once shelved him by forcing him to run
Tor Vice President.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30

In Germany throwing mud at animals
Is an 0flense against the law. In this
country politicians throw all the mud
they please at one another, and nobody
seems to mind it much.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30

A correspondent in Galveston, Tex.
writes The Washington Herald a pathetic
letter eXtoling the virtues of Spanish
ma5kerei, the Lone Star States plsca-
torial piece de resistance, seeking, indeed,
70 convince himself that il IS as good as
Potomac shad. For fish that files the
Spanish flag, the said mackerel is doubt
less all right, but compared with the
Dewey.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30

As We understand Senator Penrose' he
didn't say Il; and If he did he didn
mean II; and If it was said at banquet,
there wasn't any banquet; and, besides.
he isn't going 70 say Il any more.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30
CorroboratIve

There's no fool like an old fool"
Mrs Jinx WAS saying just yesterday
that she never IN her life knew a man
ike you"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30

According 10 the Savannah News, Col.
John Temple Graves made an eloquent
squeech" at Chicago. We are quite sure
the colonel deserves no such knock as
that
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30
Knocking the MIX supply.

From the Portland Oregonian.
The old advice not to cry over split
milk IS no longer applicable. Nobody
wants to cry over the splitting of the
kind of milk we get these days.
From the Ohio State Journal
An exchange says a tree in Argentina
gives milk and water. That's nothing.
There are cows that do that up this way.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30

We want you to join our party to.
night"
wait here III ( telephone my wife"
ITO tell herr"
NO. to ask her."
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30
Nnehlngtnn I'M.

Changeablel
The hen fruit crop Is ruined.
Spring Is leading a double life.
Bill Bryan has a new sidebar buggy
Hog guessing next Thursday back Of
the Town Hall
Bin Taft Tuesdayed with us last week.
Uncle Joe Cannon is taking no summer
boarders this year.
Joe Foraker Is busy with his spring
fencing
Newspaper lOafers Will kindly keep
away from T. ROosevelt's emporium
I'd. Hartman has not been seen much
lately around these parts? What's the
matter Ed?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30

From the indianapolis Star.
Those painful experiences Of the Indiana
crowd al the jamestown Exposition
would have been materially Hghtened if
the cost had been betrayed by a State
appropriation.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30

A Connecticut court has decided that
any woman dying a widow can never be
considered IN any other light. No court
would dare rule as to her ante-mortem
state. however
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30
THE USUAL WAY.

He walked to save the street car fare.
lie often lsnchless vent
lie wore last summers hat again,
coat which had been rent.
he bought FIR hcr with what be saved
l1cket 10 case
She staghtaay placed within his eift
His rigals smiling face.
-Ihs Bohemian.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30

Thomas Jefferson is learning French in
order to produce Rip Van Wrinkle IN
Paris. II be can ever learn TO play IL in
English as well as his dear old father.
that will be glory enough for one lifetime.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30

Mr. Taft is to make a trip TO the
Philippines soon. AS there are no dele
gates-at-large in that vicinity. Senator
Foraker viii not object Il the Secretary
spends the entire summer there, and next
winter also
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30

failures willing. ready. and anxious 10
blame it all on their sympathetic friends.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30

Both the Foraker and the Taft forces
claim to control the Ohio Republican ma
chine. Evidently each side is 10 be
equipped with modern and up-t0-date
claim departments.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30
Apt to Get II.

Now, I want my photograph TO be
unique. understand? Something entirely
unlike anything ever seen before"
That's what it will be if it looks like
you"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30

The Cars oldest daughter Is said TO be
worth S1O,Q0U0. and is rated as a par
ticularly nice girl. She is entitled 20 a
good American husband but viii proba-
bly, have TO put up with some royal
mollyc0ddIe
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30
ALITTLE NONSENSE.
BUNK0ED

When old Winters work IS finished. and
his rigors have diminished then
time arrives that poets love to sing.
Then the blossoms dot the heather and
It's usually fine weather, for our
blessings come together with the
spring
But this year our ire is kindled. for we
feel that we've been swindied, and
you'll find US to this notion stoutiy
cling.
All our JOY is 1yoe-incrusted. for the
weather man we trusted, and we
very much Disguised with the spring.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30
AN ACCIDENT.

The man bad stumbled in the dark.
While uB his front steps sariuting;
His bundles dropped and q remark
Which VIC refrain from printing
Philadelphia Public Ledger.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30

What started the trouble?"
col. Binks offered Col Jinks only one
finger"
LOT his hand or Of his liquor?"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30

A New York woman, on trial for muir
der carefully describes her costume 10
the newspaper reporters every day. Mis-
representation in this particular must be
very trying upon the feelings Of u we'll
regulated murderess,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30

There is a lunatic at large al Louis
vile, who imagines he is a bear" says
the Indianapolis Star Not an unusual
sight in Wall street. by any means.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30

That Atlanta man who recently
changed his name from Smith to Cuyler
must bitterly regret it when he takes note
of the great homage being done that first
mentioned and most illustrious name Just
now
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30
Valuable.

Ashes burned for fuel
Is now heard everywhere;
So stow away your ashes
And lock them up with care,
Already they've produced a lot
OF superheated air.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30

Tt isn't so much that the Schuberts have
Joined Klaw & Erlanger as ii is that they
have rej0ined that firm.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30
Two Kinds of Capitalization.

From the Baltimore sun.
Said Senator Depew at a New York
club on Saturday: we have centranza-
ton Of power and executive authority be-
yond the dreams Of Hamilton, and it is
the popular will The State of New
York has had for many years a central
ization Of its Federal Senatorships in two
old gentlemen, and & was not the popular
viii
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-30

The Thaw jurors have formed d society.
A sort Of survivors association, perhaps.