davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-07-14
A NEIGHBoRHOOD QUARREL,

sprngtime mornings without number,
When I'm sunk in pleasant slumber,
Just when little birds arc hsng the bright CON-
ing Of dawI.,
It is then ny ncxt-door neighbor
VIII begin his daily labor
And awaken ne from dreamland by the moving Of
his lawn.
Before anything IS stirring
He wilt set that mower WhirTing.
and its rattle. rt.la, rattle murders any kind Of
sleep.
There IS nothing that much worse is,
And I breathe some bitter curses.
They not much for loudness but they re
most profoundly deep.
If he'd cnly 60 TO digging
Up his garden beds rigging
Up the strings along his fences for his lima beans
N climb
But that wouldn't make much CattCT
And the beans, of course. don't matter;
lie can fix things that aren't noisy at a season
able time.
That is why I'm rather chilly
And I'm very until he
Shows some small consideration I shah cut him
when pass.
But that / ana sweetly snoring
Is a fact that he's ignoring.
Though I've told him he disturbs me every time
he cuts the grass
Chicago News.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-07-14

At last our Board Of Trade (which IS
also the Board Of Health has set out
10 do something which viii endear them
TO posterity, or words 10 that effeckt.
The Board Of Trade, after a special ses-
sion held in the rear end Of Hen Wealth
ersby's store t'other ev'g., announces
that Bingville is to have running water
in her midst. The Board OF Trade re-
CARDS this as one Of the greatest and
grandest steps OF progress which has
ever been took since Bingville was
founded and if everything turns out al
right they expect to point with pride TO
the faclt that Bingville has running
water while the surrounding towns Of
Hardscrabble, Snake Bend, Sorrow Hol-
low and Calamity Corners remain in the
rut Of lnnoxuous desewetude The plan
is as follows:
1t IS proposed 10 insert a pipe into
Snake Creek about a quarter of mile
above Bingville and carry the water
through this pipe right into the Public
Square where a immense founting will
be erected for the use Of watering thirs-
ty horses and humans who NAV feel in
need of cool liquid refreshment from
time TO time The Board OF Trade also
says that any property owners of Bing-
vile who desire running water in their
private residences may connect up with
this pipe, paying the expenses theirselfs.
When We asked who would pay the ex-
penses Of buying and laying this pipe
from Snake Crick to the Public Square
We was told that our town taxes would
be raised sufficiently to defrav all cx-
penses and tat the improvement would
all be paid for in a year or two.
This IS beautiful theory and It
sounds well when you talk it over. bat
as Ed. and Prop. Of the Bugle we feel
our responsibility as custodian of the
public rights 6 morals of Bingville. as
you might say, and we can't editorially
or conscienshiously recommend this run
ming water scheme in Bingville. When
We pause in our mad career to think
over the matter it occurs to us that our
taxes is already as high rs they ought to
be without bringing US down in dis
grace and ruinashion At the present
writing we haft to scratch and paw
around considerable from year to year
to get together sufficient funds to pay
our individual taxes which if they was
increased we would probably ask for a
receiver and go to the wall with a smash.
And what applies TO Our case applies to
most everybody else in Bingville who we
can think of at present.
When a new telephone was talked of
for Bingville we opposed it on the
grounds that Bingville had allus got
along without telephone and could 90
so in the future and because we ought
to be safe, sane and conservative and
not take up with every new tangled no.
shion which comes along. What do
we want running water in Bingville for9
Amt we got wells and springs? Who
wants to drink Snake Crick water when
there is Abe SINNERS slaughter house
and Ranse Smiley's tannery on the
Crick only little way above where the
water would be took from? Snake
Crick water amt fit for horse to drink.
let alone human and We calkilate about
the time our most respeckted citizens
got frog or lizard ia their Stomachs
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-07-14
GOO-GOOEYEDPYTHON
1t StareS a Lot of Parrots
to Death.
CHIMPANzEE SAVES TWO BIRDS
First Mate spicer, of the steamer st.
Andrews, Spins a Sea Yarn that
should Make Nature Takers SIT Up
and Take NOtice-The Big stick.

Won't somebody kindly call a meeting
of the Nature Takers Club, send this
story to President Roosevelt. and warn
Or Long that he had better beware lest
his laurels wither into a wreath Of thin
air. Mr.. Burroughs might take a look
in. teo. says the New York Times.
Whether or not First Mate Spicer OF
the Phoenix liner St Andrews, just in
from Antwerp, is eligible for member
snip in the new organization re-
mains 20 be seen. but the things which
happened on board the st. Andrews on its
way over. VIII probably make the best
of nature takers sit up and take a long
stare. Why. there were 800 creatures on
the boat. horses. parrots. a chimpanzee,
a lizard. a pelican, snakes, and let of
other two-legged and crawling creatures.
4 Pig "A Minute.
Well, the first day out. according TO
Mate Spicer, a python. having nothing
else 70 do, and needing some exercise.
crawled leisurely about the boat. and ate
twenty-five chickens and fifteen pigs, a
chicken a minute. and pig every minute
and a half. Then the python was salts
fed, and crawled into "a corner and went
TO sleep. 1t didn't even wake up to get
a drink. so that the pigs and chickens
might not die Of thirst
There were twelve venomous snakes
on board, also sixty parrots. Suddenly
without sending a wireless TO DIR. Long.
a snake. called "Gettum" by Mr.. Splcer
did wriggling speciality on his own ac-
The two remaining parrots We're watch
Ing Chimpanzee manicure his own nails
on the other side Of the boat. and hadn't
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-07-14
CountryCOrrespOndenCs
HAPPY VALLEY.

Eph Foster has in y acres Of corn, five
Of wheat and one OF potatoes. This amt
bad. Eph.
Jim snyder's dog killed a woodehuck
last week which weighed IS lbs. from tip
to tip. Jim's dog died later.
Miss Mar Ann Green. the bell OF
Happy Valley. is talking some OF spend
Ing several days during the coming sea-
son on visit to her aunt at the Co. seat
where Mary Ann is very poplar and min
giles considerable IN society.
Benz. Gibbs put rings IN his hogs noses
one day last week being as he had TO do
something to keep them from roofing
up his orchard so that a person could see
the roots OF his apple trees
Hoke Witherow purchased a new OK last
week and now desires to purchase another
to match il. Anybody having any extra
oxes for sale will do well 20 confer with
Hoke. EXCELSIOR.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-07-14
Bill Almost Had EN-

Bill Hepburn, our artistick blacksmith.
almost nearly had a attack of snakes
last week. but he is better at this writ
ing. Bill purchased 10 gals. OF hard CT
der from Pete Rankin out Snake Bend
way and kept his skin full Of It for sew
en- or eight days. last Sunday Bill be-
gin to notice that there was snakes in
his bed. green spiders in his coffee and
100O-legged worms in his boots. He got
out his old muzzie loader shotgun to KIN
the elephants which he said was in his
blacksmith shop. Mrs. Hepburn imme-
diately sent for Doc Livermore, who got
Bill Gained down and give him medisin
to make him sleep. Mrs. Hepburn found
Bills supply Of hard cider and poured IL
ell out on the ground. which seems like a
shameful waste to a person who knows
enough 10 use hard cider with discre-
shion. In two days Bill was hisself
again. and now be Is able to so around
without seeing any snakes az al
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-07-14
oUACK DOCTORS HARVEST.
Impudent Medical Pretenders still
Able to Find Many Victims.


The quack has never made bigger har-
vests than he makes To-day. says the St
James Gazette II Is not that credulity
has increased more In degree. but because
with greater population the aggregate
Of the credulous is naturally larger. We
have only TO glance at any memoir of the
Middle Ages and later 10 realize how
amazingly physicians and patients were
gulled. Much nearer our own times we
find the most unlikely people among the
victims of impudent charlatanry. If any
man might have been expected to escape
the Establishments of the quack. that man
surely should have been the hard-headed
| father Of Scott But he did not lie was
conquered by the guile Of DR.. Graham. ig-
nobly immortal from his association with
Nelson's Lady Hamilton. who was his
Goddess of Health" Scott was sent to
him to have his lameness cured by cleo
trieal appliances and by the famous mud
bath. OF course, he derived no benefit
and, young as he was at the time. he was
shrewd enough to realize that his doctor
was an impudent pretender. But he had
the satisfaction of seeing people more
illustrious than himself as completely
gulled by the quacx.
He has left us merry picture of the old
/ Earl II Hopetoun of that period, seated
in an armchair, and hung around with a
collar and belt of magnets, like an Indian
chief Scott preserved an advertisement
issued by Graham when the magistrates
of Edinburgh forbade the unpleasant lee
lures which he wished to deliver. Graham
described himself as looking down on the
magistrates 'as the sun in his meridian
glory looks down on the poor, feeble
sinking gllmmer OF an expiring farthlng
candle, or as C. himself, in the pieni-
tUde Of His OmnipCtence, may regard the
insOlent bouncings of a few refractory
maggots in a cheese" Graham was a
gOOd-loOking man, with some genius.
great assurance, and some madness, Scott
says. His manner and appearance should
have insured his entry into one of the
Waverley Novels. lie used 70 attend
church in a suit OF white and silver. with
"chapeau bas.'' and his hair mar
velously dressed into sort OF double
toupee. which divided upon his head like
the two tops Of Parnassus His Temple OF
Health was raided by the mob after some
unfortunate man had been murdered there
by having a red-hot poker thrust through
his body
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-07-14

papers said that the court broke up early
On Tuesday morning Mcguire and Nc
Mahon being dismissed from the dock
without a stain upon their characters.
IN Mr.. Martin Pierce. OF Wexford. who
died recently. Ireland has lost one of her
foremost industriallsts The manufaC-
turing firm Of Pierce & Company, turning
out agricultural machinery and bicycles
&c. has figured in the public eye since
the Irish industrial revival began. Mr..
Martin Pierce was a fine character, very
much beloved
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-07-14
Pailings for Sale

Being as am going to put new fence
in front OF my house and tear the old one
down, Will sell my old pailings for what
ever they be worth. II they don't be
worth much then won't sell them for
mulch. I caIkiiate they be worth about
75 cts, but would ask more II I thought
] could get Il would Ike to sell these
pailings at once before I tear them OF
and begin to bid my fence because IN
less I can sell the old paIlings can't
AFFORD to buy any new enes.
Bingvilla PETER HosKINs
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-07-14
Wanted to Borrow

Being as I am out OF money and need
a new pipe and some tobacco turrible
bad, I would like to borrow about % cts
OF a quarter from somebody who has got
money to lend and don't want no Sc
curity or a mortgage. When have TO Dor
row money on a mortgage dett has a
awful horror for me. II you happen to
have a quarter which you amt using
please let me have II for spell Just to
see how graitful I am for It.
Bingville. HANK DEWBERRY.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-07-14
StraYed or Stole

have pig which got out on me last
Friday. P. S. haven't got IT now. but
had It before It got loose) I haven't
saw anything OF this pig since. have you?
II so kindly let undersigned know at
once and undersigned win be awful o.
biiged to you. If you see a pig loose OF
this descripshion confer with me lmmejit
Bingville. ISRAEL GOODWIN.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-07-14
Robia,s strange Nesting place.

From the London Daily Graphic
At the Crown, CricklewOod, the public
house at which all the motor omnibuses
from the Elephant and Castle and Vic
toria and the horse buses from Charing
Cross TO Cricklewood stop. a robin built
In a gas lamp
The nesting place is within the reach
Of any one standing on the ground. At
one corner Of the lamp very small piece
Of the glass was broken. and through
the hole the robin gained access to its nav
home. \ family Of four young robins has
been reared. and can be seen in the corner
Of the lamp.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-07-14

There's no man alive who hasn't his
pet day dream-his vision OF some city
Of Carcassonne that he hopes to visit. -
says a newspaper man. Mines always
been the possession of a white flannel
suit. Every spring for ten years I've
said to myself, Now, this summer I'm
going to buy me a white flannel suit
Along about the first of May, when the
gas bills begin TO be percepubly smaller.
usually sound my wife on the subject.
Every year she points out to me kindly
but firmly that it would be the height OF
folly for me 70 invest in a white flannel
suit
You know how soon your white linen
trousers soil, she'll say. Even In the
country you don't wear then. more than
TWO days before they have 70 go into the
tub. You'd soil white flannel even soon
er. I can't think why you want a white
suit
Il don't tell her that it's just my way
OF going to Carcassonne. I just put of
the trip for another year. She reminds
me oftit though. If come home with a
spot on my old blue cheviot she says, sig
nificantly:
Well. it's lucky that's a dark suit
spot like that would ruin white one
"Or, If she's in a facetious mood when
my annual fever breaks out. she says:
Tt takes a thin man TO wear light
things without getting spots on them. A
stout man Ike you, George, simply has
TO wear dark clothes. especially If he's
as careless as you are
I've studied up advertisements Of
cleansing. compounds and brought them TO
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-07-14

they would become nossayated with suck
public fountaing.
Subscribe for the Bugle-it always
aims to be on the right side and il it
amt II gets there as soon as possible.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-07-14
WOMAN ABOUT TOWN
WHAT SHE HEARS AND SEES
WHAT SHE HEARS AND SEES

What is to one both meat and drink
Is poison 20 another;
What 10 one man with happiness
Unspeakahle is fTanght
Brings nothing but keen misery
To some mlucky brother;
And one mans motor car is Oft
AnOthers iuggernaut.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-07-14
SUMMER
GOODS
ARRIVING
DALI

desire 20 call the attenshion OF the trust.
ing publick 10 the fackt that l have hole lot
% sumner goods on my hands which I woulf
Ike 70 get shet n as soon as possible beserE
winter arrives. These includes
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-07-14
SCREENS
TO KEEP
FLIES OUT

WHAT Is THE USE OF LETTING
YOUR HOUSE GET FULL OF FLIES
when you esn Just as well keep the flies on the
outside Of the house where they belong
WHO WANTS FLIES WALKING ABOUND
on TOP OF THEIR HEADS espeshDIy II they
pR as bald as hp9
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-07-14
ALSO SPRING
Underwear and J
New Monkey Renches

Which have bought new &c sell to whsevsc
needs monkey renches. There was quite a
demand in Bingville last winter for monkey
renches which IS why 7 purchased these two.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-07-14

shan't give the girls name. but she's
as pretty as June rose. and she was
slipping a lemonade out at a suburban re-
sort the other afternoon. A great. gor-
geous black and gold butterfly came CO.
quoting with the flowers on the lawn be-
yond the piazza. and the pretty girls
eyes dwelt on Il, dreamily.
How lovelyi" she breathed. 1T does
not seem possible that that beautiful but
terfiy was an ugly tadpole only a little
while agoi"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-07-14

We take to the law hugely In ireland,
and 1t is better 10 US than breakfast,
dinner, and supper. often We love law,
OF course, far more than we respect it.
The County Leitrim people are particularly
fond OF their law, and it was at Dowra,
in County Leitrim. not FAR from the IA
nous Shannon Pot (whers the great
Shannon boils UP out OF the earth, that a
cours sat all day and all night. Il was
case where two criminals, OF the German
na1nsB Of Mcguire and McMahon, who
wore aTTaigned for an assault on a care
taker OF the same nationality, named
Brady The case began early on Mon
day morning six magistrates sitting upon
II and an equal number OF lawyers en-
ployed 70 endeaver to eompIcsta IT. The
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-09-25
TOO MUCH FOR NEWeRloE.
Henry's Mental Powers Collapsed
When Put to the Test.

Henry, dear" said Mrs. Newbride
to her husband the other morning, 81
wish, IL 1t won't be too much trouble,
dear, that you'd bring me home a yard
OF orange ribbon this evening.
Il don't want 1t so very wide or SO
very narrow; something between an
inch and an inch and half or at
most an inch and three-quarters. will
De about right.
BE sure and get pretty shade OF
orange, dear; and I'd prefer 1t with
one side satin and the other gros.
grain, although all satin or all gros.
grain will do; but think you can
easily get the other II you look about
a little; and be sure, dear, not to get
picquet edged ribbon, but one with
Just plain corded edge; and don't
get remnant; and don't get any
shade but orange; not real vivid
orange, either. but piece that will
look we'll with pale green; and don't
pay too much for 1t; and don't get req
or blue, or green, or pink by mistake
You won't forget, will you. dear?
must have the ribbon tonight"
Was 1t any wonder that when the
daEed Henry came home he brought
three yards of sky blue watered rib.
bon, or that, when his wife saw 1t, she
sank into chair and gasped out:
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS." - Tit.
Bits.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-09-25
Sunday Forenoon.

Pres. VIM. C. Parkinson spoke
on some of the evils in our COM
munities which ought to be
remedied.
John A. Israelsen gave brief
account of his missinary labors in
Norway, from whence he has re-
Gently returned.
Pres. Kimball then spoke in re-
lation to the new movements
which will affect the Seventies on
account of holding their quorum
meetings Sunday forenoon, after
Nov. LIST.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-09-25
NOTICE.

"A meeting of the stockholders
of the Logan Mining company is
called to meet at the office
of Kimball & Cranney, Logan
City, Utah on September 28th
1907, at 3 p. m, to CONSIDER anb
becibe upon the question Of leas-
ing binding, helling and dispos-
ing of all the property Of said
corporation; Also to consider any
other business that may properly
come before the meeting.
A. E. CRANNEY,
President.
n. w. KIMBALL,,
Secretary.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-09-25
ELDERS. CONFERENCE.

The Elders of Cache Stake will
hold their annual conference on
Sunday, Sept. Goth. at the Stake
Tabernacle, meetings at 10 a. m.
and 2 p. m. The morning session
is especially for the Elders, while
the afternoon session is for the
general public.
All Elders residing in Cache
Stake are requested to be present
and Elders residing in other
stakes are cordially invited to at
tend. ISAAC SMITH,
N. w. KIMBALL,
JOS f. CARBON,
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-09-25
Sunday Afternoon.

The general authorities of the
church and the stake officers were
presented and We're unanimously
sustained by those present. The
time of this meeting was. occu-
pied by the visiting brethren.
Apostle Richards encouraged
the people to beautify their sur
roundings. A great improvement
can be made in this direction. He
also spoke on the word of Wis
dom and Said reformation is
needed in this respect also.
Pres. Kimball also spoke on the
necessity of giving more atten-
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-09-25

ton to our lots, fences, yards and
houses. He gave one Of his char
acteristic addresses along this
line of thought.
Sunday evening the stake mu-
tual Improvement Associations
took charge of the exercises. A
program had been arranged but
some Of the parties failed to put
in an appearance.
Notes.
Henry AmeS who was shot
with % rifle last Friday is get
ting on alright. Had it not been
for the fact that the bullet pene-
trated both the coat and the shirt
collars before entering his neck,
the wound would have proved
fatal. The call was close enough
as it was, the bullet lodging
against the cord on the right side
of the neck and was cut out by
DR.. Cantril, who arrived short
ly after the accident. The shoot
ing was done by a boy about II
years of age.
Steven Mcbride has been Attic
ted with stomach trouble for a
number of years. About a week
ago he went to an Ogden hospi-
tai to undergo an operation. Last
Friday, the date set for the opera
ton, it was found upon examina-
ton that he has cancer of the
stomach and that it has advanced
so far that according to the report
it is a matter of but a short time
that the disease will prove fatal.
Bishop James J. Facer and
wife will move to Hyrum this
week. For the present they will
occupy portion of z. n. Israel
sen 3 residence in the First ward
Mrs. Joseph w. Anderson pre-
sented her husband with baby
boy last week.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-09-25
CURE YOUR KIDNEYS.
Do Not Endanger Life When q
Sufferer Shows You the
Cure.

Why will people continue to
suffer the agonies og kidney CON-
plant, backache, urinary disor-
ders, lameness, headache, languor
why allow themselves to become
chronic invalids, when a certain
cure is offered them7
Doan's Kidney Pills is the rem
edy to use, because it gives to
the kidneys the help they need
to perform their work.
If you have any, even one, of
the symptoms of kidney diseases,
cure yourself now, before dia-
betes, dropsy or Bright's disease
sets in.
Mrs. l.. NJ. Smith, living at
BAT West First St, South, Salt
Lake City, Utah, Says: 81 can
only say that Doan's Kidney Pills
proved to be wonderful rem.
edy.. 1t is almost miraculous the
way they have relieved kidney
trouble among several families
that | know. / suffered from
most awful backache and other
indications of kodney derange-
ment. Doan's Kidney Pills en-
tirely banished every symptom,
leaving me in a good healty con-
dition. Doan's Kidney Pills are
worthy of a trial by all who suf-
fer from any annoyances arising
from the kidneys"
For sale by all dealers. Price
80 cents. Foster Milburn COM
pan, Buffalo, N. Y, sole agents
for the United States.
Remember the name-Doan s
and take no other.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1907-09-25
Privileges Of Old Age.

Old age has its drawbacks. but 1t
has also its privileges. Not the least
Of these is leisure; not idlenesss, for
that way lie wretchedness and disin.
tegration--but freedom from the
stress of unlovely rivalry. and oppor.
tunity for the calm and moderate pur-
suit Of 'congenial occupation. With
its advent one may doff the armor,
but not the apron, and choosing ones
bench, work, not as a slave, but as q
master.-Senator William p. Frye, in
the Circle