davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09
Whit n Woman Did.

There Is much to be said against the
New York cabby, but there are FIRE.
Quent occasions when one Is really de.
serving of sympathy. The other day q
cabby drove a we'll dressed and re-
fined looking woman to a Broadway
restaurant, where she ordered an e1.
pensive lunch and then told the waiter
that she had lost her purse, but that
her cab was waiting and If he would
send boy with her she would 60
home for the money. The boy entered
the cab with her, and she directed the
cabby to drive to q Sixth avenue de.
partment store. When they arrived
she left the boy in the cab, entered the
store to make an imaginary purchase
and went ont at the opposite entrance
In the hope Of getting information
about his departed fare, cabby drove
back to the restaurant, accompanied
by the brass buttoned boy, whom he
blackguarded all the way for letting
the woman escape. The restaurant
people discharged the lad for the same
reason, and the driver cried quits
New York Times.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09
Irish laoal Vita.

The mots Of the celebrated wits
Harry Deane Grady, Lysaght and Kel-
ler-of the Irish bar early In the last
century are now In large measure for
gotten. Some few are, however, on
record. Harry Deane Grady, a leader
Of the Munster bar, voted in the Irish
house Of commons to support the union
against the wishes Of his constituents,
one Of whom demonstrated Indignantly
with him on his intended course Of &C.
ton. what, do you mean to sell your
country?" YES" was the cool reply,
'and very happy 1 am to have a coun-
try to SELL"
Ned Lysaght, a celebrated wit and
poetaster Of the period In very embar-
rassed circumstances, applied to Mr..
La Touche, the we'll known banker,
for place in his establishment "What
situation, my dear Lysaght, could pos
sibly suit your" said his friend, who
felt himself In difficulty. mot only
one, but two" was the reply. pray,
what are they?" III you will only,
my dear La Touche, make me cashier
for one day I'll become runner the
next"-London Law Notes.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09
SUNDAY Lava of Australia,

Melbourne, Australia, has some laws
which are wonders. One Of them pro-
hibits the opening Of any cafe on Sun,
day before II o'clock In the morning,
and the unwary American who may
not know this finds himself suddenly
high and dry without thing to eat
till IL. So he soon learns, If he's In
lodgings, to sleep till IL and then for.
age forth.
Another nice thing that contributes
to the hilarity Of the Sundays here
and the gayety Of nations generally
Is that there are no street cars running
till after 2 o'clock on Sundays. All
the steam roads bring thousands of
people into the city, but they have to
walk once they are inside the city
limits.
And If you buy bakers cakes and
pies to be taken away from the prem.
ises you may only buy them between
1 and 3 Sunday afternoons. And you
may not invite friends to dinner with
you in Sydney, which is In New South
Wales and under different Jurisdiction,
If you are living In hotel, because
in some mysterious way, which is not
at all clear, you are breaking the Sun
day law.-New York World.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09
RIVER CAPTAIN WR0NGED.
Suspension BY Presidents Order Con
den,ned by Witnesses.

Plttsburg, Oct. 1.-The members of
the Plttsburg delegation to the deep
waterways convention at -Memphis.
Tenn, have returned home. They do
not agree with President Theodore
Roosevelt that during the trip to Mem
phis there was any danger of collision
between the steamboat Mississippi, on
which was the presidential party, and
the Fred Hartweg, on which was the
P1ttsburg delegation. The members OF
the Pittsburg delegation profess to
believe that an injustice was done
Pilot G. l.. Nichols of the Hartweg,
who was suspended on orders from the
president.
Captain John Moren, who was on
the mississippi, says he was close to
the president when the HartWeg came
near, but at no time were the steam
ers closer than 100 feet and there was
not the slightest danger of collision.
II was on the Hartweg," said Cap
tain w. B. Rodgers, "and I never saw
fleet handled better. There was no
accident and at no time was there the
least danger Of any accident or col
l1s1on. The president must have had
a mistaken notion when he thought
that experienced rivermen would take
ony chances at such q tino0
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09
Mon Who help Thieves.

. The "rechrlstener" Is the profession
al name of the man who alters the
names and numbers on stolen watches
The rechristener is usually clever
engraver who through drink or other
wise has lost the chance Of obtaining
honest employment and aids the re-
ceiver of stolen property. When a
watch has been stolen the number or
name or other indication of make or
ownership may be forwarded to the
police and by them communicated to
pawnbrokers. There is consequently
an element Of risk in attempting to
dispose of 1t. There are various ways
Of getting over the difficulty, and re-
christening is one that Is frequently
resorted to. The engraver adds or pre-
fixes another figure to the number or
he turns the name u. Robins" into
1T. J. Robinson" the extra initial
serving to make the name look level
and central on the watch case. This is
done very cleverly, and the rest of the
letters or figures are touched up to
make all appear to have been cut at
the same time.-London Standard.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09
BRIEF BITS OF NEWS.

DR.. w. S. Laton, aged fifty-five, one
Of the best known physicians in Min
neapolis, dropped dead from apoplexy.
Mrs. Daisy Gordon Hanna, former
wife Of Dan R. Hanna, was married at
Stamford, Conn.,, to Franklin FELTON, of
New York.
Fire at Oxford, 'Neb., devastated
nine blocks in the business section
and also invaded the residence sec.
ton. The loss exceeds 100000. :
Another product that has felt the
effect of rising prices is chocolate, in
which decided advances in the price
to retailers have been made in the
past few days.
The American Museum Of Natural
History has just received from Egypt
twenty-seven cases of rare fossils,
about 600 specimens in all, comprising
forms new to science. c. =. !
Deputy National President Percy
Thomas of the Photographers union
has resigned his position and Ma
tional President Small announces that
he will make his headquarters in New
York and conduct the strike of the
telegraphers of that city.
Delegates to the convention of the
German-American National alliance,
now in session in New York city,
voted to accept William r. Hearst's
offer to send twelve delegates to Ger
many at his expense next year to
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09
Eohn Winds.

The journal of the Meteorological
Society Of Japan contains an account
by DR.. Okada Of the occurrence in 10.
rea OF those remarkable winds which
have been called fohn winds. The
winds to which this name was origi-
nally given are warm winds blowing
down from the snowclad mountains of
Switzerland and producing extensive
MEETINGS Of the snow. They have
hence been called "snow eaters" The
fohn Is essentially a phenomenon Of
mountainous regions. and Wonsan, in
Korea, where they have been observed,
Is surrounded except on the east by
high mountains. In this region they
are always westerly and cause abnor-
mally high temperatures and dryness
Of the air. A similar wind in North
America blowing down from the
Rocky mountains has been called the
chinook. FOhn winds occur also in the
arctic regions. Blowing sometimes in
midwinter they produce a remarkable
climatic paradox. AS result Of the
elevation Of temperature caused by
them it may happen that northern
Greenland, though in winter darkness,
u warmer than southern France.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09
Why 10 the Ocean Salt?

The Creator made the ocean salt to
save the land from putrefaction. The
winds blow everything offensive and
pestilential (as far as we allow them
to do the work of boards of healthy
out to sea, where all humors are alb
sorbed by the hungry waters. Salt is
purifying agent. The ocean is a
great manufacturer. 1t converts every
thing foul into health making ozone
and hands it back to us without
charge. No government label Is nee
essary. Stand on the Prov of ship
for three hours day, deep breathing
like an athlete, and your lungs will be
cleaned Of everything poisonous. Your
blood will leap through veins and arte-
ries. Your heart will be obliged to
thump with renewed force. The tide
is the oceans tongue. It comes in
twice day to lick up the foul things
Of the earth and convey them to the
oceans stomach, where they are d.
gested, saltsd down, cured and render
ed pure again.-Marine Journal.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09
GladatonA kicknaInAa.

A collection of the nicknames that
were from time to time conferred up.
on Mr.. Gladstone would be fine die
tionary Of epithets alike of love and
dislike. Besides such perennials as the
Grand Old Man, ''the G. o. NJ and
the Peoples William we recall the
Franchise Bill, the Pope Of England,
st. William the Woodcutter, the Nah.
di Of Midlothian, the Old Parliamen.
tary Hand, the Peoples viii, Mr.. Mer-
rypebble, the Ancient Senator, Youart
the Man, Hawarden Bill, Prime Billy,
w. G., the Only William and the Old
Gentleman. At one time his name was
a favorite theme for Christmas cha.
rades, among which may be remem.
bered the following elegant outburst
Of q Conservative wit: II should be my
first If could throw my second at my
whole"
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09
HEROIC ACT IS futile.
Youth Carries Unconscious Form Long
Distance in Icy Water.

Youth carries Unconscious Form Long
Distance in Icy Water.
Traverse City, Mich, Oct. S.-Will
lam Egler, aged twenty-five, of this
city was drowned in Lake Michigan
under circumstances that reveal his
brother Harry, aged eighteen, in the
light of hero as we'll as that Of a
powerful swimmer. Turning Cat Head
point in an eighteen-foot launch that
they had built themselves the young
men encountered a southwest gale too
heavy for them to go forward. In
turning back their boat was capsized
and sank, the older brother. going
down with the launch. Harry Egler
dove to the bottom, secured hold of
his brothers clothing and, being an
expert swimmer, fought his way
through the icy water nearly mile
to the shore. Cold and exhaustion be.
gan to overcome him as he was roll.
Ing the unconscious form of his
brother on barrel and he was com
PEELED to leave the dying boy on the
beach and run mile, to the nearest
farmhouse for help. There he fell ex
hausted after explaining what had oc.
CURED and urging that help be sent
instantly to his unconscious brother.
It was too late, however, to resusci-
tate the older boy, whose heart had
stopped beating before assistance
reached him.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09
Why Was Ae an idiot2

There Is Il story told Of a very talka-
tive lady who met with we'll de-
served rebuke at social gathering not
long ago. Her husband Is a man OF
high standing In the world Of science,
but the lady regards him rs dreamer
Of impossible dreams. DO you know"
she remarked. that genius and imbe-
cllity are twin brothers? The world
regards John as genius. Now, there
are times when l believe him to be an
idiot"
A painful silence followed, broken
by blunt old doctor who had over
heard the remark.
Are we to understand, madam" he
said, that Professor Y, though your
husband, Is so lightly esteemed by
your
II say what l think" she retorted
AT times John is Enthusiastically an
idiot"
Merely because he is your hus
banda"
''Sir!'
ooh. very WELL" was the grim re-
joinder. 1--WE will put 1t another way
He is your husband because he is ar
idiot. VIII that do?" - Pearson's
Weekly.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09
HCIeveralitv."

There is story that Charlotte
Bronte when girl Of sixteen broke
out angrily at some one who said she
was always talking about clever PEG
pie, such as johnson and Sheridan.
'Now, you don't know the meaning of
clever" she said. "Sheridan might be
clever-scamps often are-but Johnson
hadn't spark of 'cleverality' in him."
That remark really gives the essence
Of Johnson and the key to the great
qualities Of his work, for in his case
even more than in most the prose was
the man. Whoever wants "cleveral-
ity" had best leave Johnson alone. The
signal merit Of Johnson's writings is
that he always means what he says
and always says what he means. He
may often have talked for victory, but
except perhaps in the political pam
phlets he always wrote for TRUTH
London Times.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09
Wager Of Battle.

In 1877 one Richard Thornton, called
to the bar Of the kings bench charged
with the murder Of Mary Ashford, in
open court threw down his glove and
defed his accuser, whereupon there
was q pretty to do. Wager Of battle,
It was supposed, had died natural
death in the dark ages. but Lord Ellen
borough after much consultation of
precedent held that it was still the law
Of England and ordered a field to be
prepared. Thornton's accuser thereup-
on declining combat, the prisoner was
discharged. Next year parliament
passed an act abolishing this privilege
Of appeal to the strong right arm.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09
Tho Grjmmest Epitaph.

What is the most terrible epitaph in
existence? One Of the grimmest is
surely that on stone which was set
up few years ago in the cemetery of
Debrescin, eastern Hungary.
1t reads as follows: Here rests in the
Lord Joseph NORTH, ST., who died in
his sixty-second year. He was shot by
his son. Frau Joseph Moritz, who died
in her forty-seventh year. She was
shot by her daughter. Elizabeth Mo-
ritz. who died by her own hand in her
seventeenth year after shooting her
mother. Joseph Moritz, who died in
prison, age twenty-seven. he had shot
his father. May eternal mercy have
pity on their poor, sinful soulsv'
This memorial was erected by 10.
cal literary association, to which, it is
said, the last Of the Ill starred family
loft sum Of $500 for the purpose.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09
Specialization.

Once upon time not many. years
hence perhaps man being !. seized
witha sudden and violent pain has:
tensto-a doctor for relief. :. !. i. >: -
"Where is the pain?" asks the doctor.
Fright here = groans tie, man. and
lays his hand on the afflicted part.
The doctor opens his case Of instru.
ments and takes therefrom several del.
icate compasses and a number OF. fine.
ly graduated tapes. With these he
proceeds Is make precise and elaborate
measurements, stopping at frequent in:
tervals to set down. great many fig
ures on sheet Of paper. ~ !.
"What are you doing?' cries the man
at last, for his pain is all the time in.
creasing.
"Of course l shall make very sure
first Of all, that the location of the dif.
fculty brings it within my speciality
Do you take me for quack? You de-
serve to haye; been born a thousand
years ago!"-Suck."
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09
DON'T Experiment.
You Will Make No Mistake If You Fol.
low This Bemidji Citizens
Advice.
Never neglect your kidneys.

Never neglect your kidneys.
If you have pain in the back,
urinary disorders, dizziness and
nervousness, it's time to act and no
time to experiment.. These are all
symptoms of kidney trouble, and you
should seek a remedy which is known
to cure the Kidneys.
Doan's Kidney Pills is the remedy
to use. No need to experiment. 1t
has cured many stubborn cases in
Bemidji. Follow the advice of
Bemidji citizen and be cured your
self.
Mrs. G. E. Meyer, living at $40
Beltrami Ave., Bemidji, MIMI, says:
I have suffered from kidney trouble
for a number of years. There was
dull pain in the small of my back
the greater part of the time and I
often suffered from pains in my loins
which made me very miserable. I
have used a great many remedies
but did not receive any relief until
three years ago when Doan's Kidney
Pills we're brought to my attention.
procured a box at the Owl Drug
store. In short time I felt better,
but some time later had another
attack. Doan,s Kidney Pills gave
me just as satisfactory results as in
the first instance. 1t gives me
pleasure to recommend them to-
others suffering from kidney trouble"
For sale by all dealers. Price so
cents. Foster. Milburn Co., Buffalo,,
New York, sole agents for the United,
States.
Remember the name Doan's-
and take no other. IL
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09
Fools Gold.

Pyrite, or sulphide of iron, occurs
quite freely in the iron measures and
granite cash veins in upper Michigan
It has a brassy color and is known as
fools gold'' by reason of its similari-
ty to the yellow metal in the opinion
of the inexperienced. The miners call
It "mundic." Few people appreciate
the great value of this mineral. Its
principal use Is in making sulphuric
acid, and in that form it is consumed
in very large quantities, much Of it en-
tering into the refining Of kerosene oil
as well as being used extensively in
the manufacture Of artificial fertilizers.
Mining World.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09
Tho Marble RihlA.

In 1857 Mindon-min, king Of Bur.
ma, erected a monument near Manda.
lay called the Kutho-daw. There he
built 100 temples, in each Of which
there is slab of white marble. Upon
these 700 slabs is engraved the whole
Of the Buddhist Bible, vast literature
In itself, equal to about six copies OF
the Holy Scriptures. This marble Ri.
BILE is engraved in the Pail language,
thought to be that spoken by Buddha
himself 500 B. @.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09
Great Scheme.

Mrs. Simpson in her MANY Memo
ries Of Many People" says Of Arch
bishop Whately: He was utterly re-
CARELESS Of appearance. If be came to
US without servant and perceived a
hole In bis black stocking he would
put a piece Of sticking plaster on the
corresponding part Of his leg to con-
ceal the defect.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09
Not Due to Race Prejudice.

i Exeter, N. H., Oct. '.--With refer.
ence., to the published report that
Booker T. Washington, Jr., son of the
colored educator, and ]. =. Gomez,
son Of the Cuban general, had been
forced to leave Phillips Exeter acad-
envy on account of race prejudice DR..
Harlan P. Ames, principal Of the aoad-
envy, In statement to the Associated
Press denied the story and said that
both students voluntarily left school
rather than submit to discipline.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09
Very Likely,

worry IIkoIy.
you're a queer looking thing to
want to fight with me-" said the young
bulldog CONTEMPORARY. you're not
In my GLASS;"
"Perhaps not" replied the porcupine
quietly, but think can give you a
few points. "-Philadelphia Press.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09
Foolish Question,

Hello" cried the neighbor. "What
are you building a new chicken house
forT"
"Why," replied Nettles, "for a flock
OF pink elephants, Of course. You
didn't suppose I'd put chickens in It,
did youY'
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09
PICKING on Him.

A first grade boy brought perfect
spelling papers home for several weeks
and then suddenly began to miss five
and six out of ten.
FLOWS this, SON." asked his father.
Teachers fault" replied the boy.
"How is 1t the teachers fault?'
"She moved the little boy that sat
next to me."-Lippincott's.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09
Practical.

Practical.
Sound practical advice given by
misanthrope: If ever you should be at
tackled by night never shout "Murderv"
for no one will bother about you. Yell
''Fire" and everybody will be out of
doors in jiny. ~ -.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09
The Folklore of Puss.

Puss has earned the reputation of
being weatherwise. Good weather may
be expected when ''tabby" washes her
self, but bad when she ticks herself
against the grain or sits with her tail
to the fire.
Formerly in Scotland when a family
removed from one house to another the
family cat was always taken as pro-
lection against disease. It is curious
to find the opposite practice obtaining
in Ireland, where 1t is considered high
~ unlucky for family to take with
them a cat when they are "fitting,"
especially so If they have to cross a
river. There Is a popular belief that a
cat born in the month Of May is Of no
use whatever for catching rats and
mice, but exerts an injurious influence
on the house through bringing into it
disagreeable reptiles Of various kinds,
says Woman's Life.
In Scotland black cats are supposed
to bring not only good luck, but also
lovers, in Illustration of which may be
quoted the we'll known rhyme:
Whenever the cat O. the house is black,
The lasses O lovers will have no lack.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09
How tho Baby Talked.

Mr.. Bacon-I was I'D to SEQ tho
Smarts' baby today.
Mrs. Bacon - Did they make him
talk7
''Yes."
what did he say?"
Il couldn't understand. 1 think it's
a great mistake for a mother to teach
q child to talk when she has ihairpins
In her mouthy'-Yonkers Statesman.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09
MAKING Thlnas Exan.

"aNI"0 H1n0O GV00s
Customer Ito watchmaker) - l told
you that my watch lost half an hour
every day, and now that you've re-
paired It it gains half an hour
Matchmaker - Well, don't complain.
It's only working to catch up lost time.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09
Judiciouo Charity.

Juo1ciouo Charity.
Il don't believe he is 30 misery AZ
they say. I hear he invites his poor
relations to visit him each year."
"Yes. They all live at considerable
distance and are too poor to come"
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09
9neakod,

"What side do you generally take
when your wife gets in an argument
with somebody elseT'
"outside. It's safer" - Milwaukee
Sentinel.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09
Applause.

Applause.
A friend having declared in Mrs.
6iddons' hearing that applause was
necessary to actors, that it gave them
confidence, More" interposed she; 1T
gives us BREATH
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09
Thu BuroIar,


"A burglar was one night engaged In
the pleasing occupation Of slowing
good haul Of swag in his bag when he
was startled by touch upon his Shout
der, and, turning his head, he beheld
venera BILE, mild eyed clergyman gaz-
ing sadly at him.
"Oh, my brother" groaned the rev.
erend gentleman, "wouldst thou rob
me? Turn, I beseech you-turn from
thy evil ways. Return those stolen
goods and depart in peace, for l am
merciful and forgive Begone"
And the burglar, only too thankful
at not being given into custody Of the
police, obeyed and skunk swiftly of.
Then the good old man carefully and
quietly packed the swag into another
bag and walked softly $50 as not to dis
turb the slumber Of the inmates) out
of the house and away into the silent
night. For he, too, was burglar.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09
9ura.

Sunday School Teacher-Tommy.c can
you tell me what caused tho hood2
Small Tommy-Yes, ma'am. It rained.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09

There are times when God asks moth
Ing Of his children except silence and
patience.-R0binson
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09

The applause of a single human
being Is Of great consequence.-John-
son.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-10-09

Genius Is a combination Of aspira.
don and inspiration.-London Truth