The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1907-05-05
ARTBMUS WARD, SNOWMAN,
ANECDOTES OF THE HUNORIST
ON THE PLATFORM.
Generosity when q Lecture Didn't Draw
Tho Fat Man Whs Couldn's Help
Laughing His C0nstderation Tor
Others Couldn't Force His Hunief.

Tho Fat Man Wh0 C0uldn'S Help
Laughing His ConsideratiOn for
Others Couldn't Force His Humer.
In the closing years OF the civil war q
get rich quick company was formed at
Trenton, n. j. The plan adopted was to
hire the most popular lect urers. pay them
their regular fees and incidental expenses
and then divide the big prohts. The first
and last lecturer the company enga ged
was Charles f. Browne, more popularity
known az Artemus Ward, Snowman.
Having notified the manager OF the COM
bination that his charge was $50. without
anything in the way Of expenses. the engage
ment was made and Trenton was plastered
with posters announcing that the great
humorist would speak his piece entitled
Sixty Minutes In Africa" on a certain
night. The days intervening were spent
by the members Of the company in fore
casting the enormous receipts to DO divided
after paying all debts incurred.
When I met Browne at the station and
We were riding TO the hotel I handed him
an envelope containing his fee. He de-
clined &c take II. eayins'
wait tin you see how you come out. l
don't believe you Will have much OF a'crowd
and | don't want you to lose too heavily .
The chivalry Of this. DO dfferOnt from
the usual lecturer. became manifest .
We found the hall only half 6lled. Many
OF those present were ~deadheads. One OF
the firm had become scared when he peeped
in the door and had slipped out and cor
rallied several SCORES Of his friends, whom
he passed into the hall.
Having introduced the lecturer. l seated
myself in q chair behind him and looked
dignihed. Those who may have heard
sixty Minutes in Africa will RECALL that
from the beginning to the end there is no
reference whatever TO the Dark Continent.
The lecture wal made up Of quaint sayings,
anecdotes and the odd quirps for which
Artemus Ward was noted,
He had not spoken more than fifteen
minutes from his manuscript when he
begged the indulgence Of bis hearers, saying
he had been travelling DO much over the
country that he was worn out and would
have to sit down and rest for q brief while.
He hoped he would be able to finish what
mad TO say.
BE caused q SILVER to run down the spine
of each member Of our firm by promising
that II he found himself unable to 60 on
the admission fee would be returned to the
audience. The deadheads looked eIpectant
and happy
l sprang from my chair, poured out a
glass Of water and placed it on the stand
in front Of Browne. 30 paid not the least
attention, but went On and completed his
lecture in his best manner while knowing
grins appeared on the faces Of his listeners.
Il hope you weren't offended he said,
by way Of apology when he was through. !
THAT, you know. 70 a part Of the show. ]
am q little ~apprehensive since I made a
clergyman 90 mad that I thought he would
swear at me. he would accept no ex-
PLANTATION or apology and left the platform
without bidding me good night"
At the hotel Brownies fee was again
offered him. he insisted pm knowing
how much we had taken In and the amount
Of our expenses Then he accepted SIS.
refusing TO q another cent. That let
us out about even.
There could not have been a greater
between two persons than there
was between the real and the fancied A.
v w&yo; thin ne WITH Tds Yellow 1l sS1 S hair. if huge h roosd
dainty hands and feet, q tawny nus
taohe and a pink complexion. Indeed,
his color was too pink, and preeAged the
disease which carried him of q few years
Il lectured in Troy a few weeks ago.
he said to a group Of US in his room. and
had an odd experience. ] didn't reach
the hall until a few minutes after the time
advertised. and. strange as II may seem, Ii
was crowded to the doors.
Il stepped upon the platform. laid my
On the sofa behind me and adj
vanced to the desk. At the moment Of
nv mouth, a fat, haldh4ad@d mar
seated In front threw back his head and
with laughter.
Il frowned ~.reprovingly and waited for
him TO subside. When he had managed
TO do 50, ] opened my mouth again. He
exploded more boisterously thar before,
and this time moet OF the audience Joined
Il thought there must be some ridiculous
d-isarrangement OF My clothing. / glanced
nervously down. but everything was right
browne was an exquisite In dressl. Then
the explanation flashed upon me.
"The genial fellow while waiting for my
coming had been thinking about
the popular idea OF A. Ward, Snowman,
and recalled some Of the Nonsense uttered
by him. When he saw the real A. Ward
him he was overcome by this reool-
az we'll as by the contrast, and gave
way TO understandable merriment.
sConvinced Of this. I began to laugh.
For fully five minutes not a word was spoken,
hut every man and woman. Including INV.
ueif. were holding their sides. Three tinnoa
While I vas 0peal1nH nv bNldhaaAad frienA