The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1907-06-25
THE THEOLOGICAL STUDENT WHO
MORE THAN FILLED THE PULPIT.
dorothy Dix in New York ~Journal)

Last Sunday" remarked Mirandy,
"Brer jenkins was away at de con-
ference, an he axe one Of desc here
Smart Alec theological cemetery stu
dents, what am full of bombosity. an
pomposity, an supercilliosity to fill de
pulpit nm Ian. he did MI nit, 1ul!
an rNnnin' over.
He was one Of desc new tangled
preachers whut takes DER text out OF
de instid of de Bible
which am a lot safer an less apt to
tread on de corns Of de h~redderen
whut drap de most in de hat-an' he
e~xpostulated about de sin of vanity,
which he say Is women's besettin'
weakness, an he ounded his remarks
upon dat passage in dc evening paper
Whut tells how de boss man in de
Government printin' office has had 70
take out all de lookin' glasses in hit
because de female employees wasted
DER time a peekin' in de mirror to sec
If dere hair was on straight. or dere
skirts an shut waists amt missed con-
nection in de back.
Here. my ~bredderen an sisteren,
says dat boy preacher, a p~oundin de
pulpit ontel he made de dust fly. here
is a awful example of hi comes Of
yieldin' to de deceitfulness Of vanity,
which sticketh closer a a brodder,
an whispers fiatterin' words which
are mostly lies into our ears. An dis
sin, my brodders. is mostly, ] grievss
to say, de property of de weaker sect.
which is woman An what a sin hit
is, m breddern! What drives a man
to drink? De vanity of women!
What lands a man in de po' house ?
De vanity of women! What makes
women adorn DER bodies, which IS
nothin' but POI, miserable worms of
de dust, wild jay bird heeled shoes an
flower bunnits an de lax? Vanity
Vanit. Nothin' but vanity, an I specs
dat eff we could git q peek into de
Bad Place we should see dat hit was
paved with bead chains, an silk
frocks, an desc heah follow-me wells
AT dat Saliny Sue, whut has got
her eye on dat preacher boy, riz right
up in meetin' an grabbed off her new
Sunday hat dat her ma done took IN
house ~cleanin' to buy. an screech out,
Bless Cord for de light, dat hat an
fedders is we'll nigh sent my soul to
hell
AR Brer A'bram UP in de Amen
cOrne sing out: OATS 50, dat'S de
true word an Saliny Sue ook as mad
as a wet hen, Gaze she was a-almln'
at de preacher, an de preacher went
/ on sayin': Let US thank HEAVIER my
bredderen, dat we men amt afflicted
wild vanity. but is dat strong minded
dat we is riz above hit. An now,
whilst the choir sings de closin' hymn
chune, Brer Abe and Brer Mike will
pass de contribution box, an / wishes
to remind de sisters dat l is in need
of a new coat an some striped
hritchers, an a plug hat. an any Cd
der wearin' apparel dat is in style dat
de LayVd may see fifteen to move dem
TO give me-
well, as We was goin' along home,
Ike up an grin, an say sort of keer-
less lax:
DE preacher sho' did git you to-
day, Mirandy.'
WHO, me- l axes, lax | is sur
prised, case l knows what Ike is a
drivin, at, for you amt married to a
man 80 years Widout knowin' what
he is gwine to say befo' he says hit,
but when de pres/ her breaches dis
praiseous | don't never take hit 20
myself. Nawm, dere's always a plen-
ty to slande you widout you sland-
erin yo'self. SO 1 act mighty inno-
cent. an Ike go on:
Yes, he sho'ly did hit de nail on
de head when he talk about de vanity
of women, an de sorrer an tribula-
ton hit brings on men. My good
ness, / don't know whar | would a
been eff hit handn't been for de money
dat you is spent a-primpin' up dat ole
face of yourn an trying to make yo'
feather bed figure iook slim an will
lowy; I specs I would a-been as rich
as dat Mr.. Rockinfeller.'
"'Humph.' spoons I. I can tell you
where you would a-been. You would
a-been a settin' on de back step of a
one-room cabin in yo' shut sleeves, a
Wonderin' how you was gwine to git
po'. an ragged. an dirty. an filled
wild beer an envy of ev'y body dar
was better off dan you was. But yo'
amt dat way becaze 7 wuz too proud
to live in a howell. an too proud to
wear skinny clothes, an too proud
to have folks ook down on me inste1
of up to me so | Wukked. an I bought
things dat 20 had to wuk an pay for,
an here We is: but YOU wouldn't a.
been nowhere 'cep'n fer my vanity"
But vanity is a great sin, Miriam
dy.' goes on Ike.
Or a great virtue I puts in. Mos
of de good we gifts de credit for
doin we does becaze We wants folks
to admire an praise US for it.
"'What makes Sis Gabrielle put VI
so patient wild dat low-down husban'
of hers, lat comes drunk an beats he
an takes de money she done ben
ober de washtub earnin' to buy rel
eye? Hits nothin' in dis world but
dat she's vain of de reputashun dat
she's got as long sufferin' angel whose
pin feathers is beginnin' to sprout.
'Whu makes Sis Hannah lane
spend her life a mlnlSterin to de Pc
an shiftless? Hits becaze she laks Il
listen to de praise of dem what finds
hit less wearin' on 'em to tell her how
noble an good she is dan hit is Il
wuk. All of desc leah philanthropists
dat I is eber been up against is eot
such a appetite for fiattery dat you
could feed hit to EN- wild a trowe
an dey wouldn't gag on a mouthful
An furdermo', says L, I heal
Brer Sim say dat. dat time in de wat
when he acts so brave dat he got hi:
nane mentioned. dat he was skeereG
blue, an de only reason he didn'r
run was becaze SO many folks was
lookin' at him dat he was ashamed
Dem remarks spoons Ike. in &
toploftical Way-de way he does wher
I is gittin' de best OBJ de converse or
dem remarks is neider leah mol
dere. What I says is dat hits a sinfu.