Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1907-07-11
Pyofesy01J
Way. :, . ssssr
copo igh,, Go7, Dy E. G Poreeil,.

| LITTLE man. He was round shouldered.
He was awkward on his legs. He
! wore goggles for his weak eyes, and
| lie arrived at the age Of fifty-five with
| ont having loved As between bugs
| and beetles and women, the bugs and
beetles were ahead. II was only on
rare occasions and when under the
| stress OF excitement that he took the
slightest notice of the other sex. Even
when he did sit up and take notice of
them he could not have recalled half
an hour later what be said or whether
they had red hair or black.
| On a certain day it came TO the ears
of Professor Sweetzer that portion OF
the vertebrate OF whale had been
| found on farm in Connecticut he
arrived on the spot next day and veri-
fed the find. On an occasion thou
sands of years before an old bull whale
! had decided to take a trip inland and
through some error of judgment had
left his bones In gravel pit. \ piece
of the back bone six feet long had been
| uncovered. The professor wanted to
| cxcavate for the rest. Where there Is
six feet of whale you can take it that
there is more He engaged board at
| the Widow Webbs and hired man to
WELD the pick and shovel and thus
went 10 work.
The Widow Webb was fat and forty
and childless. She was worth stony
farm and 5000 in cash. \ still older
sister lived with her, and the farm
work was done by a hired man with
the good old fashioned name of Hiram
| Stebbins. Hiram We thirty-fiye and
drank nothing stronger than cider but
he thought deeply. One of them was
that if he married the widow he would
become the posscSsor of the farm and
5000. He had been thinking of this
and taking the farm work easy when
Professor Sweetzer put in an appear
ance Hiram looked at him and grim
ned If any one had told him that
within week he would be jealous of
that little dried up and humpbacked
specimen of humanity, he would have
roared with laughter.
AS soon as the professor had inspect
ed the bone and become enthusiastic,
he was Il changed man. He became a
fluent talker. He became fatherly to-
ward the widow. lie called her my
child" and often took her hand and
held ii while he tried to make her I'M
derstand that Il whale was n cacheor
and that cachelot could stand on his
tail in the water as we'll as on his head.
When Hiram witnessed the hand
| holding act, he quit grinning. He was
mad oil that day as he hoed corn. He
was mad when he came up to supper.
He was mad when one Of the cows
kicked him at milking time. While
the professor took ramble in search
OF beetles. Hiram carried the milk into
the kitchen and began:
"Widder Webb. how does 1t feel to
have baboon holding your handy
"fIiram, what do you mean?" was
demanded.
II mean that | have seen you and
that little runt of a man squeezing
hands a dozen times, and neither Of
you seems to care who Stands by Fell
in love mighty quick, didn't your
Look here, Mr.. Stebbins, you have
no right to talk to me this way. You
know who the professor IS He's
great man. He has taught me more
about whales in the last three days
than knew in all my life before. He
also knows all about birds and bugs
and bees. It's twice as interesting TO
hear him talk as it is to hear ser
mon"
Has Teller got to squeeze your
hand to talk to you about whales"
asked Hiram.
"He h2sn't squeezed it. That's sim
ply his way. He IS a fatherly man.
When he gets to talking he don't know
whether he has got hold of my hand
or the leg of 4 chair. You ought to be
ashamed of yourself TO talk as you do.
! always thought there was mean
and jealous streak in you, and now it's
come out"
"Oh. 1t has eh" muttercd Hiram.
Perhaps If ! went around looking for
the bones of an old whale. I'd be all
right"
II guess II would he better than
grunting around You don't care for
educated folks, but | do. was born
that way. If | was to asl, you about
whales, You couldn't tell me any thing
But the professor couldT
Eyes, sir. he could. Hiram Stebblns
do you know that the Latin name Of
whale is Physeter macrocephalus? DO
you know that we get Spermaceti and
ambergris from It's body? DO you
know that he sometimes reaches the
length of seventy or eighty feet? You
| stand there with mean look on your
race, fnd get lei me tell you that the
| sperm whale can swallow a man at
gulp. There are 40 teeth in the upper
| jaw, but the lower one has from TWEEN
ty-hve to thirty on each side. The eyes
are small and placed far back In the
head"
"WellT' grunted the hired man
We'll, the cachelot feeds upon fishes
ana cephalopodous mollusks. You prob.
ably thought he fed upon turnips. The
whale is gregarlous Five hundred or
more have been seen in a single herd.
Terrible conflicts often take place
smons the males and It is not unusual