Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-03-02

! you'd have thing well done"
Tell your cook you'd like 1t rare" In
terrupted Subbubs.
Agentld like to sell you this bottle
of mosquito exterminator. Mr.. Jack
son-No, stree! I'm a manufactures
of mosquito netting
Mistress ito cOlored cook Maria,
is your little girl "A bright child? Maria
Deed she am. Sometimes All think
she's little too shiny.
Say, dad" We'll SON" What's
h Pedestrian" "A pedestrian, son, Is
one who doesn't have time to get out
of the way of an auto
so you viii make a dash for the
North Pole by airship. Have you the
ship YETI Moo, not exactly" How
far along are your preparations" We
have the air"
Mrs. JustgOtt Hermun-My new
home has stained glass in all the win
dows. Mrs Notyet Butsoon-Now
that's too bad. Can't YOU fnd some
thing thatll take It out?
Paddy (oblivious, on the track, with
train Advancing Where will L catch
the express for Dublin? Statioumaster
Yen catch II all over ye II We don't
get off the line mighty quick.
Merchant i would be glad to give
you the position, young man, but
make 1t rule 80 employ married men
only. Applicant-Beg pardon, sir, but
have you All unmarried daughter?
Jacks Mamma There were three
slices of cake in the cupboard, Jack,
and now there are only Two. How does
that happen2 Jack 1t was SO dark In
there. mamma, that | didn't see the
others
Mrs. Gadabont My husband Is SO
slipshod. His buttons are forever com
ing off. MIR. arim--Perhaps they are
not sewed on properly. Mrs Gadabout
his sewing.
Are You chief engineer OF this con.
cern2" asked an excited individual OF
the sub-editor. NO. sir, I'm not the
ceded 10 boil down six sheets OF mat
ter into note of six lines.
Lawyer say, doctor, why are You
| always running MS lawyers down? Doe
tor (dryly) We'll, your profession
doesn't make angels Of men, does it2
Lawyer Why, no; you certainly have
the advantage of us there, doctor.
A family recently purchased Il COW,
greatly 10 the excitement and Joy of
the children of the household. The fol.
lowing Sunday rs the dessert, which
consisted Of Ice cream, was placed on
the table, the 3year.old son OF the fam
lily announced proudly TO the assembled
guests "Our COW made that"
An English rector was burying one
of his practitioners in the churchyard,
when he was interrupted by n woman.
You must wait until have finished"
said he No, sir, ! must speak ut
once" wei, then, what's the mat
terY he inquired. why sir" excalm-
ed the poor woman, you are burying
man who died OF rhe smallpox next
my poor husband, who never had it,
A burly. broad shouldered man
passed through the gates at the Central
station Mt Jersey city, and hurried
with his two solid looking suit cases
toward Pullman porter who stood
stifiy and erect beside the steps Of
parIor ear attached to the train. The
passenger who WAS long on suit cases
but short on breath asked the proud
looking porter Does this train stop
ut Railway mo, sab" replied the
negro, In superior manner. This
train do not stop at Railway, sab Ii
do not even hesitate ut Railway"
A gentleman who spent his time Wis
itlng among his friends. wearing out
his welcome in his own neghborhood,
thought he would visit an old Quaker
friend some twenty miles distant He
was cordially received by the Quaker,
who thinking the visitor had taken
much pains TO come 50 far to see him,
treated him with great deal Of at
tention and polilencss for several days.
As the visitor showed no signs OF leav-
ing the Quaker became uneasy but
bore il with patience until the eighth
day, when he said to him: MY friend,
/ an afraid thee VIII never come
again" "Oh. yes. shall" said the
visitor. Il have enjoyed my visit very
much aud shall certainly come again"
But said the Quaker, III thee will
never leave, how can thee come again."
uttttnE the BulIE Eye.
Georgian who has the reputation
Of being a wretcbed shot recently In
Yited the attention OF his sporting
rrienas 10 a inrgei nnlnted on a harm