davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-11-27
Why He Didn't R..inn.

Sir William Wightman held Office
in the old court of queens bench in
London far beyond the prescribed
time, and at last, on the eve of the
"long vacation" he took sort of
farewell of his brother judges. How
ever, when "the morrow of All
Saints" came around he turned up
smiling at Westminster hall. "Why,
Brother Wightman," said Sir Alex
ander Cockburn, "you told US that
you intended to send in your resig-
nation to the lord chancellor before
the end of august" $50 l did," said
Sir William, 'fbut When / went
home and told my wife she said,
why, William, what on earth do
you think that we can do with you
messing about the house all day.
So, you see, was obliged to come
down to court again"
The Modern Way.
Governess (who has told her
small pupil the story of "The Fox
and the Grapes''-Now, isn't that
a clever story, Ethel?
Ethel-Clever? Not bit of it!
That fox was nothing but a goose.
He pretended that the grapes were
sour. What he should have said
was: @oh, what beautiful grapes
so tempting and SO sweet! But
my doctor has told me never to eat
sweet things, SO / must refrain. y
Taller.
Mans Responsibility For pisease.
Mans often III considered interfer
ence with nature has more than once
aided In the dissemination of disease.
Even in the vegetable world he brought
over phyllo1era to ravage European
vineyards and took coffee to ceylon,
where mold was waiting to compass
its speedy ruin. In Africa he has fos-
tered nagana In cattle and sleeping
sickness In his own species. In fact,
much of bis rule Of earth has resulted
In the genesis OF what Metschnfkow
aptly calls Sdis-harmoniea." London
AeeteSs laz-aL--u-.aS =
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-11-27
Genuine Thieves.
t's Little EARLY Risers Ar

A man who refuses to pay his debtu
Whsn he can il thief at heart.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-11-27

The postmaster of GssoOnsds,
Me-, Daniel A Bugh. says of De-
Witt's Kidney and Bladder Pills,
II am doing so we'll. and improv.
Ing 90 fsst in health, that 1 cannot
sag too much for your Kidney &
Bidder Pills. I feel ike a new
man" DsWitt's Kidney and Blad.
der Pills are sold by all druggists.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-11-27
Dull Star,

Ali the worlds stage. and all the
SuDeTB imagine they are stars.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-11-27
Best Day of All.

The day that succeeds the downfall
Of q tyraut is always the best-Cur.
thus Montanus.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-11-27
owner, Of erIti.h r.na.

oWner1 OF British Land.
Fully ons-third Of the land in Great
Britain IL owned By members Of The
houSs Of lords.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-11-27

the best pills made. They do not
griPs. Sold By all drugsiats.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-11-27

"a genius" said the young man with
long hair and eyeglasses. usually ~
gardr the world as balky mule
ayes" answered Miss Cayenne, "and
the world usually regards genius az
AorSs that q trying to run away
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-11-27

Dswitt's Ca, bolizod witohHsz.
el SaIve is good fer boils. BdrnS,
outs soaIds and skin diseases 1t is
especially good for piles. Sold By
all Druggists
It's a good old world after rail-;
If you have no friends OF money,
In the river you can fell;
Marriages. are quite common and
More people there would be.
Provided you take Rocky Nous.
tain Tea.
"A O Van Glider
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-11-27
Muddled Memories.

Among the gems of collection
of schoolboy ''howlers" are the fol-
lowing:
Charon was man who fried soles
over the sticks.
The heart is over the ribs in the
midst of the borax.
A thermometer is all instrument
for measuring temperance.
The snow line stretches from the
north pole to the south pole, and
where it crosses the Alps and the
Himalayas it is many thousand feet
high in the air.
"Honi soft qui NAL y pense" ('FLet
him be honored who thinks evil").
A toga is sort of naval officer
usually found in China and Japan.
Contralto is a low sort of music
which only ladies sing. = Kansas
City JourreI
Get a few good oyster shells and
thoroughly clean them, after which
insert them into a clear fire for
twenty minutes or SO. When cold
hammer them into powder, reject
ing all parts that are not white, for
the gray portions are totally useless
for your purpose. Then put layers
of this powder, alternating with
flowers of sulphur, into a crucible
and seal up the lid, which may be
done by means of paste made of
sand and beer. An hours baking
on good fire will follow next. When
quite cold remove the contents of
the crucible and make up into q
paint with gum water. Two or three
coats of this on any article will
make such painted surface luminous
for many hours after dark, but it is
understood that it must be exposed
to daylight previously in order that
it may be able to store up the phos-
phorescence which it yields later
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-11-27

A London furniture dealer who com
nitasd suicide len a note explaining
that be had done 90 because q friend
Of bis had aaked him.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-11-27

Experience Is the great test of truth.
and is perpetually contradIcting the
theories OF men.-Dr. johnson.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-11-27

'Blakesleyls the most perslsren.
optimist l eyer knew. He slipped
and fell in mud puddle yesterday,
and you never saw such q sight as
he was when he got up"
"What did he say?"
"He congratulated himself on the
fact that it was so nice and soft
where he had struck and expressed
the opinion that if it had been hard
he might have broken a bone OF
two
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-11-27

1t is just Ike China to begin reform
By establishing council of dellbera-
don" instead of a council to do things
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-11-27

The New York Tribune, INC .. -
most conservative and reliable news
papers in the United States, says
THE drink bill of the United States
is $1.410, 236, 702. All the corn, wheat
rye, oats, barley, buckwheat and pota
toes put together viii not pay for It
The liquor traffic costs more each yeai
than our whole civil service, our army
navy and congress. the river, harbol
and pension bills, all we pay for local
government, all national. state and
county debts and all the schools In the
country. In fact this government
pays more for liquors than for every
function Of every kind OF government
Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1907-11-15
Golf as I Science.

The performance OF James Braid.
the veteran Scotch golfer. in winning
the British professional championship
for the third time after an unparalleled
display of brilliant driving and accur
ate putting. has raised the question
whether golf has not reached the sum-
nit of human skill Braid did twenty
eight consecutive holes in an average
of four. several in three. and two holes
in a half round of nine in two. To
do hole in two, the ball being driven
so near the cup that il may be holed
out with the next stroke. is not rare
with the element Of luck what il must
always be in golf To repeat the feat
in the same match is genius. evidenc-
ing a fatal precision of which the anna
teur must despair. In the foursome
professional contests at the Brookline
Country Club, George Low last Wed
nesday, playing with another profess
sional. did eighteen holes in Il, repeat
ing the record with an amateur spart
ner on Thursday. Low has eleven
times covered the $500 yard Baitusrol
course in Il.
This is equivalent to driving a golf
ball from the City Hall to within eight
blocks of Central Park in fifty three
strokes. eighteen being required for
putting" it into a AZ inch cup. And
that not through a fair way. but over
and by hazards Of all descriptions
natural and rtificial-bunkers. sand
pits, ponds, rayines, water courses and
woods. Ii is feat calling for marvel
Gus accuracy of aim and muscular
control in conjunction with headwork
which raises the game to the dignity
Of a science-New York World
Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1907-11-15

have been suggested by members 3f
the administration is not entirely
clear. There is no doubt. however. as
To the advisabilty of increasing con-
troll over the carriers and of protecting
them from such state Legislation as
was enacted last winter But is there
any necessity for calling an extra ses-
sion Of Congress to do this work. as
has been urged upon President ROOse-
welt? There will BE- session next
month. short, To be- sure. but still long
enough To get the movements well
stratcd.-Buffalo Express.
Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1907-11-15

DR.. Alfred G. Cole of Chicago is
authority for the statement that the
world is Is 100000 years old and that
President Roosevelt is "a reincarnation
of a soul that has completed its des-
tiny Of reincarnations and has been re-
placed on earth by special DISPENSE
ton OF providence to help guide hu-
manity in a crucial period" Ii is per-
haps necessary to state that DR.. Cole
is neither an inmate of an insane asy-
lum nor a Chicago university professor,
but the medical director OF the Illinois
G. A. r. This may be crucial period
all right. Certain eminent financiers
in the east think it is but they do not
appear to be trustful OF the tumultuous
guidance OF the president. They are
following the lead of one J. P. Morgan
and a few other plain citizens who
have never been reincarnated at all
and who have long road to travel be-
fore they pass into Nirvana.
Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1907-11-15
SANS SOUCl.

Although | may drink deep today
4 stirruD-cup If soSrow
I'll not debate with flipDant fate,
But toast glad tomorrow.
Then here's a laugh. though | may
quaff
The hemlock's poisoned potion;
The only sails untouched by gal,-i
Cruise on a painted ocean.
AWAY VIII: woe that crouchcS low
And whines Il dolcful story:
Travelling night, with dawn's gray
light.
Brings forth her child in glory.
The cares that fret when ills beset
Are merely April showers.
That rain on life enough of strife
To beautify its flowers.
There blooms rose for every rose.
And dewdrops joy in weeping;
For every heart there lifes a heart,
Somewhere. that love IL keeping.
The Bohemian.
Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1907-11-15
PHOENIX ARIZ.. NOV. Is. 1907.
CONTACTS BETWEEN STATES.

4 good deal has been said lately on
the subject OF the extension OF federal
control; on the advantages and dis
advantages Of it and on the probability
that the constitution might by the
loose construction" process be made
TO grant the federal government the
right Of which IL thinks itself 20 be
sorely in need.
The Los Angeles Times is in favor
OF the loose or open work construction
as opposed to strict construction. That
is. il is rather with the government as
against the states and recently il
placed a limitation about the states
which We think nobody else had pre-
viously thought OF applying.
Says the Times:
The governors of several states who
are strict constructionists as to the
constitution and sticklers for all the
rights OF all the states are holding con-
ferences with governors Of other states
who hold the same opinions. Attor-
neys-general and other officers are
holding quasi mass meetings to concoct
legislation TO be put in force in their
several states. whose aim shall be TO
regulate Interstate commerce by regu-
laung the corporations which carry on
this commerce.
The Times believes that al! such pro-
ceedings are violative OF section 10.
paragraph OF the constitution.
No state shall, without the consent
OF congress. lay any duty Of tonnage,
keep troops or ships OF war in time OF
peace. enter into any agreement or
compact with any other state"
So fragrant does the ciolation appear
to the Times that il emblazons the
prohibition against entering into agree
ments or compacts in black capital
letters.
The Times concludes:
In this quoted paragraph ii seems
10 point unerringly to federal control
as the proper. indeed as the only pos
sible method of dealing with this new
factor in our Industrial development"
We do not think that the average
expounder OF the constitution will
place SO strict a construction on the
foregoing paragraph. The conferences
Of governors, attorneys general and
other state officers Of the several
states could not result in compacts or
agreements binding upon their respec-
tive states nor are they ever intended to
do so. They are intended for the bring
ing together of ideas from which the
best may be selected and perhaps to
secure uniformity Of legislation regard
ing matters in which the state have
common interest.
The Amarican Bar Association at its
annual meetings labors to secure such
uniformity Of legislation concerning
subjects exclusively within the control
OF the states and concerning which
there can be no federal legislation.
The Times view of the meaning OF
section 10, paragraph if followed far
enough would abolish state boundaries
and state governments except as de-
Tendencies of the general government.
Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1907-11-15
THE FAlResr OF The FAIR.

The boss. you see. requested me
To write some fair time poetry.
So don't hunt me with a stone;
The blame for this is his alone.
NV harp is badly out Of tune,
And fleeCy clouds obscure the moon.
So how in thunder can a poet
Compel his fiery steed to go it?
our fair, I've guessed. will be the best
That ever was or ever can.
And all next week the folks will speak
of how those speedy horses ran.
And Oh what JOY for every boy
Il is TO see those brnncos buck.
He thinks. 80 my" / wish that |
Could be a bronco buster. too.
Just then the cayuse gives a pitch:
off goes the rider in the ditch.
And softly murmurs. Darn the luck"
The boy thinks. why if | should try.
Perhaps I'd get the same as you,
And that would never. never do.
So guess I'll be a lawyer
Also. you know. there1l be a show
OF minerals of every kind.
And of the finest fruits that grow,
\ big exhibit you will find.
Nor is this anything near all.
The Phoenix team from Wichita,
CTEe best the country ever saw
And others from the Lord knows
where.
Will all assemble at the fair
And show US how TO play baseball.
Now. | regret To end this yet,
There is SO much more it would seem.
I'll mention this, lest you forget:
Use Valley Pride PasteuriZed Milk and
Cream.
By the Valley Pride Poet.
Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1907-11-15

Those who have absented themselves
from the present territorial fair, and
they Will be comparatively few, VIII
have no opportunity before next year
to gain an adequate notion of the great
wealth Of the territory in its products
and possibilities. The fair is worth
to Arizona many times over the cost
OF ii. alone for the higher and true
valuation it places upon the territory
Every thing has been raised in the es-
timation Of visitors, the value Of land,
Of cattle and all other live stock, the
mines. the advantage of living in such
Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1907-11-15
Currency Reform

The events Of the last two weeks
have indicated PRETTY clearly the need
Of currency reform Of some kind and
likewise of an improved corporation
law. Whether the latter should be a
national Incorporation act for compan-
les which do an interstate business
or simply modification of the Sher-
man antitrust law along lines which
Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1907-11-15
A Woman's Back


Has many aches and pains caused y
WEAKNESSES and failing, or other dlspisce-
ment, OF the pelvic organs. Other symp
toms Of female weakness are frequent
headache, dizziness, imaginary specks or
dark spots floating before the eyes, gnaw
ing sensation in stomach, dragging OF
bearing down In lower abdominal or pelvic
region, disagreeable drains from pelvic
organs. faint spells with general weakness.
II any considerable number Of the above
symptoms are present there Is no remedy
that WIN give quicker relief or more per
maAent che than DR.. Pierce's Favorits
PreA1!bSoRIt has record Of over forty
years Of c6feA L Is the most potent
lnyigoratiDg TONIC and stpangtbenilg leI-
vine known q medical science. it's made
OF the glyceric extracts Of native nedici.
nal roots found in our forests and con-
tains not q drop Of slcohol or harmful, OF
habit-formlng drugs. Its ingredients are
oil printed on the bottle-wrapper and At
Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1907-11-15
The Teutonic Mind.

\ wealthy German committed sui
eide the other day rather than bear
the burden of a great fortune. The
attitude of the Teutonic mind is diff
cult To understand. An American sim
ilarly encountered would have solved
the problem by burning the money
Louisville Courier Journal.
Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1907-11-15

Those who happened to be at the fair
grounds yesterday morning saw how
things could happen to irritate a base
ball player and make him peevish for
the moment
Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1907-11-15
Sure Signs

We are surely going to have severe
winter The corn husks are thinner
than usual. the squirrels are putting
away ii large store of nuts, and Gladys
Vanderbilt has purchased twenty-four
sets of furs-Toledo Blade
Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1907-11-15

Mr.. Bryan has formally announced
his receptive candidacy. in doing so
We believe he has violated no very
closely guarded secret.
Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1907-11-15

We know it is not good form to talk
back TO constituted authority. includ-
ing base ball umpires but now and then
Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1907-11-15
Cannot Understand

Pussy-footed politicians cannot I'M
derstand Governor Hughes's method
Of doing things i'm full view Of the au-
dience.-Toledo Blade.
Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1907-11-15

The English Derby at the Electric
Theater. shows a rough and tumble
fight between two jockeys and an eX-
citing horse race.
Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1907-11-15
Shy on Sense

Voting machines are uncOnstitution-
al in Massachusetts. Some constiIu-
lions appear to be wonderfully shy on
common senSe.-Chicago Daily News.
Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1907-11-15
Not the limit

Those VINO thought theMarcel wave
the limit did not anticipate the puff
style-\ew York Mail
Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1907-11-15
Dictionary Wisdom.

ITO use many metaphors. poetical
phrases in prose or inclle-pot. terms.
smelleth Of affection"
Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1907-11-15
PROFESSIONAL
NOTARY PUBLIC.

e. Z. PASCOE, Notary Public. Con-
veyancing q speciality. Acknowledge
ments taken. 10 North Center St.
Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1907-11-15

a country and We may add, the citi-
zenship of the territory.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-11-24

and just leaves a little bit. The spiders
that we have are called the garden
spiders.-Edith FOrsberg, fifth grade
On Friday, as l was sitting in the
back yard, gray spider came run
ming up on the porch. 1t was about an
inch long. 1t was trying to get in the
house. 1t ran along by the screen door,
and it stopped by every little crack it
found. 1 tried to catch it, but when I
touched it with a stick it ran off down
the side of the porch.-Lucile Farms
worth, fifth grade.
Spiders in Captivity.
In our school room we have eight or
nine spiders. We have two that look
as If they have a face on their backs.
They act as if they are dead. One
night one Of them spun a web. Now
both of them have webs and cocoons.
Some of the spiders in our room are
in boxes and some In bottles They
like to get up to the top of the box or
bottle, so they can get the air.
We have a red and a black and two
brown spiders, also other colors One
morning we got a great, big spider, but
it was dead. The teacher told us the
spiders would eat grasshoppers and in
seCts.
Inc SPIDER DulidS more imam one web
a year, because its web gets broken.
When it spins web it makes a place
on the outside for itself When it is
home it stays I'm the place IL has made
for itself, holding a string from the
web.
Then If an insect gets in the web he
can feel 1t. The spider can tell if it is
d big bug this way, because a big bug
shakes the web more than a little one.
If IL is a big bug he let's it stay there
until it gets tangled UP, and then he
comes up and gets it. If it is a little
insect he viii run out and get it
Adele Charlton, fifth grade.
When we first caught our spider it
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-11-24

ders will come slowly up the web, so as
to see whether the female wants to
choose that one for her mate. If she
doesn't want him. she will kill and eat
him. But If she does want him for her
mate, she will let him stay in her
house, but at last she will kill him, too.
Mamie Burns, Fifth Grade.
Ways of Spiders.
After the mother spider tires Of her
mate, she turns round and eats him
up. When her dress falls off, she eats
that, too.
She lays her eggs in the fall. Her
cocoon looks like a ball Of pink silk,
with a white ball inside. Sometimes
she goes to sleep by it. At other times
she just goes TO sleep anywhere.
Some spiders will get a beetle and
lay eggs all over him, and when the
baby spiders get hungry they take a
bite off the beetle. Then others get
the baby spiders on their own back
till they are large enough to take care
of themselves. The tarantula never
eats her mate. They live in peace to-
gether, for when you find one you are
sure to find the other in a short time
looking for the one you saw first.
Viola Daft, Fifth Grade.
Catching Garden Spiders.
One night when 1 was going home
there was a great big, gray spider. We
tried to catch it, but it ran i'm the grass.
tried to get it on a stick, but it ran
down into a hole. Then l saw a little
black one and it went down into the
hole, too.
There is one little spider that I
brought in, and some enc has put fly
in it's box. II has started to spin a
little. The big yellow spider spun a
web, and it has caught some flies. 1t
now acts as if 1t is dead.
The spider that has some flies start
ed 20 eat them. He eats the head first,
Martinsburg statesman-democrat. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1906-1921, 1907-06-21
ANALYZE

Analyze the stone on Your farm, the
shale, the Gay on any other minerals
you may have on your farm. Ihere
may be torture stored away on your
arm and which if left lying do rmant
will do nobody any good.
DIR. Paul Karutz, the German chem
list is most thorough scientist and
master of his profession. His labora-
tory recently establ ished in this city
is one OF the best equipped and he Of
fers his services to the people of Berk
eley and adjoining counties IL this
line and will guarantee his work.
The many samples of stone, clay
shale &c. Which have in the past been
sent away from here for the proper
analyses may be treated here with Ms
as much efficiency as any laboraty in
the United States. DR.. karutz may
be found at the Berkeley hotel most
any time.