Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-04-20
NO TACT N0/MoNEY

1 Why do some thoughtless and tactless
| wives commit the grievous and generally
fatal mistake of asking him for coin before
| or at breakfast? Here is the way it usual
| ly works out when she makes the brace at
that unseemly, unbecoming and (for the
male) grouchy time of day:
| She-I could use IS today George
He-Could, could you? What's the an
swer? 1 could use four bits il 1 knew
| where to get 1t.
She-But I'm serious, my dear. You've
been promising me some money for my
| self for some time. you know.
He-Didn't I slip you five only day be-
| fore yesterday?
She-Day before yesterday! That was
nearly three weeks ago. and you know very
well spent more than half of 1t buying
| Things for you-socks and things
He-Soeks for me. hey? Stop kidding
I hasen mad new pair of socks since the
she-Why. you've got a pair of the new
| ones on now that l bought you with the
money you gave me for myself nearly
| three weeks ago
He7Say, don't tell me I'm luny. please,
! gave you that five-spot no later than
three Gays ago. anyhow. Who dye think
l am, Carnegie?
x sheEPlease don't put me off that way
|
say SO: I've only got 10 cents and some
car tickets.
He-Well. don't spend the dime all at
| once.
She-I want to get some black roses to
trim over my last years hat.
He-Black roses? Why don't you get
some purple dandelions? Say, did you ever
| see any black roses growing anywhere?
She-No. but they're the thing now. And
please don't sidetrack me that way my
dear Can have the money?
He,Can If you can get it. If somebody
! ud hash five-spot on me now I'd begin
| 10 squeak and clipper and to make queer
| motions In the air with my fingers
| saw it,
He-Been frisking me again. have youo
| She-No, L haven't been frisking YOU as
you call II. and do wish you'd stop using
that horrid. vulgar slang. You know very
touch your money. But l saw you cha nye
| your money into your other clothes last
! evening.
| He-Wish you'd flag that rubbering habit
| you've got. It's got SO that feel around
here as if l being watched by the
secret service people al! the time.
She-Pui-lease stop putting me off that
| way. Do get the five?
He-Do l get the ambassadorship to the
court of ST. James? What for do you begin
| TO spin these puzzles and refuses and cha
| rades and things SO early in the morning?
She-NoW, listen, George. Besides those
| black roses to trim over my hat. l want
the money for something else. There's a
| sale of laces today, and they're just giving
| the stuff away.
| He-Yes, I'VE got a lifeRsize pastel of
! those people in the act Of giving things
away Laces, hey? Say I'll bet ball Of
popcorn that you've got seventy-four thou
| sand bolts of that priZe-package, bargain
| counter kind of lace slowed away in these
| old punk trunks up in the attic right now.
| What's the use of laying up junk like that
| when you never use it?
She-I want some lace to make an opera
| coat for next winter.
He-Next winter? How dye know we
| won't both be hit on the wishbone by a
| steamboat run over by a milk wagon
long before next winter hikes around?
| She-Oh, there you go again. trying to
| crawl out of 1t.
He-Crawl out OF nothing! But I'm get
| ting tired of being maCed all the time for
| coin this way You spend about fourteen
| times as much on yourself as l do
| She-Oh, indeed? You forget. l suppose,
| that you went downtown the other day and
| ordered yourself spring suit OF clothes Tor
$40. I wish you'd just try to figure out how
long it has been since you spent $40 on a
| dress for me.
| He-Fhere you go! I nooch around this
| town nearly all the time looking like a
| hobo SO that the friends / used to know
! edge over to the other side of the street
| when they see me coming because they
| don't want to be caught talking with
| bum and when / do order me a meaSly
| suit of clothesl get a new suit about once
J in seyery nine years-Why, I get ii pitched
! into my teeth: Go right ahead ana ENJOY
| yourself, I'm used to 1t,
| She-Oh, now you're working your old
| scheme of pretending to fly off the handle
| lust as an excuse for not letting me nave
| a uttele none for myself l know YOU
| He-Oh. cut that out. I don't have to
| work any scheme. If L refuse TO stano lot
! being help up this way every day or Two.
| don't have to frame up any scheme 10 get
| away with it.
She-You are getting to be just as
| selfish as you can be, SO you are YOU
never think of living soul except your
bling and drinking. why. we wouldn't
have any trouble at all in getting along.
He-Gambling? Drinking? Say. chop
! that right there. Who's ceen gamphhs
| and drinking. and when?
| She-Didn't you go out to the race
| track and bet your money-and me win
hardly car fare-on those nasty horriu
He-Ha. ha. Don't make me laugh:
I've got rheumatism in my left thumb!
Betting on the horses, hey! went out
| to Renning just once. and dropped four
bucks-four one-bone bets-and when l
| made those the boo!kies looked at me as
if | was some kind of a bug-and then
I'm accused of gambling! Wow! Fine!
She-Oh, that's what you say you lost,
but l know better. Men never tell their
wives how much they lose when they
gamble. l wasn't born next week, you
know.
| He-And, say, where does the drinking
part of tile gag come in? 1t must have
| been one of those dream souses-its
sure thing I can't remember it. No such
luck as to've had a bun on for four
months. Where did you get all that,
! anyhow?
she-well, you must think I'm per
feet simpleton. Didn't smell your
breath when you came in Thursday
| evening?
| He-Thursday evening? Lemme see.
Oh, now I remember Had two book
| beers with fellow I know just before
L got on the car to come home from
! the office. And l was drinking. was 1?
Say, did / smash the furniture and kick
| the cat and wiring the canary birds
neck and things like that? Maybe I got
what they call a subcOnscious bun off of
| those two book beers. hey:
| She-Oh, you've got an answer for
| everything when ask you for little
| pitiful change to go down and do a lit
| tie shopping with, like other women.
| Your idea of wife Is to make a per-
feet drudge and household slave of her
and never let her have a solitary. single
| cent of her own. I'm just in rags. that's
| what 1 am, and you don't care one bit.
| deed you don't I'm ashamed to be seen
| in the street, and know all of my wom-
en- friends are laughing at me just fit to