Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-01-13

lot Thank tn lord nobody knows about
me. Thank tn lord had tn good sinse to
retire firm pollyticks whin reputation
had spread as far as Halsted sthreet If
I'd let it go a block farther Id've been
sorry FIR it tn rest iv me life an some
years afther me death.
Il wanted to be famous in thin days.
whn l was young an foolish. Twas tn
dhream iv me life to have people say as l
wint by: There goes Dooley, tn gr-reatest
statesman iv his age, an have thin name
babies, sthreets, schools. canal boats an
five-cint seegars afther me, an whin L
died to have it put in tn books that at
this critical peeryed in tn histhry of Amer
lea there was need iv a man who combined
strenth iv charackter with love iv coun-
thry Such a man was found in Martin
Dooley. a PROM ent retail liquor dealer IN
Ar-rchey road That's what l wanted. an
I'm glad didn't get me wish. If | had, tbs
little attintion to me charackter that tn
books iv what Hogan calls biography wud
pay but good deal to me debts Though
they mintioned tn fact that | resked death
f'r me adopted fatherland, they'd make tn
more inthrestin story about TIL time | al
most met it be fallin down stairs while
runnn' away firm a polisman. FIR wan
page tneS u PRINT ABOUT me lDNe ~ COull-
thry they'd print fifty about me love iv
booze.
"Th' things thin great men done wud
give thin a place in Byrnes's book. If
Julius Cayzar was alive today he'd be
doin a lock-step down in Joliet. He was
a corner loafcr in his youth an a robber in
his old age He busted into churches,
fooled around other mems wives, curled his
boj with led ~ pprfIlrnary
like a Saturday night car. An his wife
was a suspicious charackter an he turned
her away. Napolyon Bonypart, impror iv
tn Fr'rinch. was far too gay aven f'r thin
friv'lous people. an had fits His first wife
was no tetther thin she shud be, an his
second wife didn't care FIR him. Willum
Shakespeare is well known as author of
plays that no wan can play, but he was
betther known as a two-handed dhrinker
bad actor an a thief. His wife was a COM
mon scold an led him tn life he deserved.
They niver leave tn ladies out iv these
stories iv tn gr-reat. A woman that mar
ries JANUS has a fine chance iv her false
hair becomn' more immortal than his
gr-reatest deed. 1t don't make amy diff =
renee if all she knew about her marital hero
was that he was a consistent feeder. a
sleepy husband an an indugent father to
his childher an sometimes to himslf, an
that she had to darn his socks. Nearly all
tn great men had something tn matther
with their wives. l always thought Mrs.
Washington. who was tn wife iv tn father
iv our country. though chidless herSilf.
was about right. She looks good in tn
pitchers. with shawl around her neck
an a Eilled night cap on her head. But
Hogan says she had a tongue sharper thin
Georges soord she insulted all his frinds,
she was much oder thin him, an she liked
food that they cudden't keep amy longer in
| tn ice box. AS fr George. he was a case. I
wish tn country had got itslf a diff rent
| father. great moral relijous country
| like this deserves a betther parent.
They were all alike. l think iv Bobby
| Burns as a man that wrote good songs
| even if they were in a barb rous accint. but
| Hogan thinks iv him as havin' load all tn
| time an bein' tn scandal iv his parish
| raymimber Andrew Jackson as tn man
| that licked tn British at Moo Orleans be
| THROWN cotton bales at thin. but Hogan