Evening journal., 1907-12-10
Personal and Pertinent

A Young curate who had recently taken orders was
appointed to a church where the vicar was extremely
energetic so much that when he had been there six
months ne hud had chance of preaching Ihis'
he thought very hard lines he felt sure that he
had the making of a great orator in him. one day,
however s,Vcar told him that there would be ehiia
10 ohrlsen ths Sunday afternoon and that as he
CHE vicar) would be engaged elsewhere 1t would be
left 70 the curate to conduct the service now ne
thought 70 himself, &c 1 not allowed TO preach
win at least avail MYSELF of this opportunity to let some
portion Of the congregation know. what my oratorca
powers are"
mother uncles and aunts, godfather and godmotner
stood round the font The service very well until
he had 10 take the child in his arms. He took hold Of
It it it torpedo and then delivered himself OF
my dear brethren before proceed chrisen this
child would like to address few words to the spon-
sors as 10 its future welfare old saying and
true that the child is father the man. Now, this
nfa IT my may, If properly trained rise to
great eninenoe lie might one day If well brought up
get into Parliament and become second Balfour or
Campbell Bannerinan and pass such laws as would be
of bene6t 10 tbe whole British Empire; or again. he
might become great soldier and emulate the deeds of
kitchenfr or Lord Roberts. Should he go into the
church he n,ehr eventually become Archbishop Of Cam
terbury missionary, and be the means'of con-
verting thousands of souls
III he enter the medical profession why should he not
be "a Jenner Pasteur. man like Harvey who dis
,ho circulation OF the bood2 should he turn
his attention what is there to prevent him
becoming Lord Mayor of London2
sss scientific man he might be a Newton Edi-
WHAT is tho childs nameT
MARY Ammo. please. sir"
The baby fell into the font-rt-Bits
men to bring the an the out articles which
were Inspected handed in and exchanging for ne
The drummer hao applied for many drlm-heads that
the commodore felt sure he was being imposed upon
day set himself to watch while the band was
playing ratting martial air followed another
his increased percepby until he burst forth In
uncomfortable rage
-rhere now confound youi I why you so
many drum headsl Don't drum in the middle Of it all
the time Drum all over that drum tell you!"-liar-
pers Monthly.
A young married of extremely Jealous dispos-
ton recently visited of the most famous mediums
In London Being from home, he wanted TO know
what his wife doing.
'she is looking the window, evidently expect
ing one"
srbat is strange" said Benediek 'yvhom she
some one enters the door and she him
~" the medium
1t can't be-" cried the excited husband. my wife
is true to me"
NOW he LAYS his head her lap and looks tenderly
in her ewes"
It's falsei I'll make dearly for thisi" yelled
the Jealous husband
"Nou he wags his tail" said the medium.
The ereen-eyed monster subsded and the young hus-
band cneerfuly paid over his consulting feeTit-B
Tho Willamette Heights handed the conductor
OF the So clearing house certificate.
What's thatT asked the behind the bell cord.
That's clearing house crtincate. the new kind of
Portland money said the w. H. citizen
rs il goodg' asked the lord OF the punch.
"Sure it's good Paper money goes these days"
"An right, old man." and the conductor Immediately
handed the passenger S495 worth Of ransfersPorand
oregonan
Employer-Are you addicted to the Of intoxicat-
ing liquors?
ApplicantNo sir. drink glass Of beer occasionally.
Employer-How often Is occasionaly7
Applcant-Only when am alone or with some one,
s---Harper's Weekly.