davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21

The Kansas City Journal says: THE
Taft managers in Ohio may be able to
override oFraker. but they shouldn't
do 1t too rudely. There are enough
Foraker Republicans to make Ohio a
doubtful state If they should get their
dander up" How would it do to para
phrase this sentiment this way? The
machine managers in Kansas may be
able to override the Square Dealers, but
they shouldn't do 1t too rudely. There
Rre enough Square Deal Republicans to
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21

Ex-senator Burton reads the riot act
to Harper's Weekly. Being comrades in
the great cause of overthrowing Presi-
dent Roosevelt, ex-senator Burton and
Harper's Weekly ought to get together
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21

If Oklahoma ratifies its constitution
and finally becomes a state next win
ter, it will cast seven electoral votes in
the next presidential election. Which
is an important fact, considering that
those seven votes are likely to be Dem
ocratic as things are now
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21

are merely changing existing ones about"
watering less stock on their capital and
more on the cattle trains."-Baltimore
American.
Naggus Qiterary editor)-By the way,
Borus, where did you get the material for
Borus Istruggiing authorC-At depart
ment store. I'm using only the common
est kinds of pens, ink, and paper-Chicago
Tribune.
Doctor-This patient has water on the
Nurse-very likely; he's railroad cap
italist.-Baltimore American.
Tommy-Ny papa's automobile is nicer
Dicky-Bein' nice amt nothin'. You can
smell my dads machine a mile away
Chicago Tribune.
schoolmate, who had played truant to go
fishing.
"but 1 will When 1 get .'-Philadel-
phia Ledger.
What sort of breakfast do you like. Mr.
Newcomer" asked Mrs. Starvem, on his
Fs w %D"nP pe.i lie the the n0n new boarder Z
wouldn't mind some grapefruit, lamb
hot mullins and coffee. Philadelphia
Press.
us her husband so unendurably stupid?"
ems up is when she talks of divarcel''-
Seattle Post-Intelligencer.
Mrs. CoIdstream-Would you like glass
The Conservative Consumer-Not much.
Puck.
Judge-Prisoner, have you anything to
say to the court before sentence is pro-
nounced?
Prisoner-I beg the court to consider the
youth of my attorney.-White and Black.
First Reporter-I see by the last edition
that our old schoolmate, Jones, has COM
mitted suicide.
Second Reporter-Hurry down and you
may be in time to prevent his doing IT,
Smart Set.
Kids. Mother--Of course, people joke
about it and all that, but just the same
Family Friend0or if not president, he
may become "a Deliberate and Unqualified
Falsifier," which is almost as prominent,
you know.-Puck.
Man (to friend)-I am done with doctors
henceforth One of them advised me to
sleep with my windows open. / did SO.
and the very next morning my gold watch
was gone from the bureau.-Fliegende
Blatter.
Nellie O'Rourke-Say, Mickey OBrien
i Lucy A1 o'NeiiMHis mudder is ter blame
fer it. She's licked him so often dat she's
queered de whole sex.-Syracuse Herald
Coming Guest-I see you charge IS for
a room. When 1 was here in December
you ony charged 3s a day. -.
now.-London Sketch.
Assistant wonder why more poetry is
written in the spring than at any other
Editor-Oh. I suppose it's because nearly
everybody feels sort of good-for-nothing
then.-ChicagO Daily News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21

After the conduct of Lieutenant Gov
ernor Fitzgerald. if the Kansas railroad
commissioners should reduce passenger
fares to two cents a mile fiat, the rail-
roads would believe that they have
been sure-enough gold-bricked.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21

One does not hear so much nova
days as formerly of the captain of
industry as a model for the American
youth. Too many captains have turn
ed out somewhat after the manner of
CaDtain w F Corey
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21

Still that invasion ofOmaha grain men
into Kansas did not really injure the
Kansas farmer. 1t really helped those
who have old wheat on hand to sell.
Kansas will really have just as much
wheat as though the Omaha board of
trade had not come down and killed
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21

Pocahontas' punch is said to be pop
ular drink at the jamestown exposition.
Is it the kind of a punch that Miss Poe
ahontas kept certain of her fellow citi-
zens from giving to Captain John
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21

Although a dark horse won In the
contest for secretary of the state tax
commission, the commission made an
excellent selection when its choice fell
on John Smith of Marion.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21

Former Lieutenant Governor Hanna
has bought himself an automobile for
use on the prairies around Hill City,
and now he can be listed among the
real machine Republicans.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21

Senator LaFollette has gone on
bear hunt in Colorado. Now we will
see If he is as successful in tracking
bears as he is in running down octopi.
or as successful as a certain other IA
nous bear and octopus hunter.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21

isn't it creditable to New York. y
asks the Capital. that Corey found but
one minister willing to marry him? %
Well, wasn't one enough?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21
KANSAS COMNENT
Beatty CONTESTS.

1hose beauty contests run by vari-
GUS papers are inclined to do a great
oeal OF harm. Not only are they like
young women whose pictures are
printed, but they arouse envy and
Jealousy and discord. Then there is
the case of the Chicago girl who won
the beauty contest in that city. Until
the time of her sudden fame she was
leading a modest, unobtrusive life
working as a stenographer in a bust
ness office. Since then her features
nave been paraded in many of the
1eaolng papers all over the country and
as IL this were not enough the Tribune
mas now Jerked her out of her retire
nent, placed her on it's editorial staff
ana VIII run a department edited by
ner. FROM now on the poor girl will
regard herself as a "fuli-fedged lady
journalist. -Hutchinso News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21

There is no doubt that Taft will carry
Ohio. Taft is big enough and strong
enough to carry much more than ONO.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21
FROM OTHER PENS
TELLING THE TRUTH.

Whether the pure food law shall
promote public health, we do not
promote public morals. Labels have
ceased to lie to expand the trade and
swell the profits of manufacturers of
food. There is not a large city in
erica that has not sold, in any one
of a dozen years, more Mocha coffee
than the Mocha district of Asia can
produce in TWO years. Very good cof-
fee, doubtless; but sham and
fraud that is reproach to mercantile
integrity.
1t is claimed that under this pure
food law householders will even be
able to find out what sausage is COM
posed of, and that when man buys
black pepper he will not have deliv-
cred to him ground cocoanut shells.
If he shall buy ground mustard, it
will not be half cornmeal. If he buys
potted chicken. it will not turn out
potted veal, and if he calls for pure
apple vinegar, he will not be shown a
villainous ooze that results from pour
rain water over beechwood shavings
and allowing the mess to ferment.
Doubtless prices will advance, for
honesty is costly in this age of fren-
zied finance and counterfeit COM
merce; but we do not see how prices
can get to be higher than they are
become. Already they are all the
trade will bear.
AS for the whisky. there is none
good when it gets to be master. There
the philosopher who said, zone drink
is enough, two are too many, and
three are not half enough: But men
have drank ever since Noah was
earth shall stand. But if we must
drink by all means let US drink the
pure stiff with as little headache and
as little remorse in it as possible.
The pure food law is on trial. If it
shall help the public health as much
as it surely will help mercantile
morals, there will be a general de-
mand for it's extension and perfection.
Washington Post.
LARGE STOCK IN STORE.
From the vigor with which Attor-
ney General Bonaparte is prosecuting
numerous trusts for violation of the
laws against rebates, it is apparent
that there is no such diminution of
this iniquity as the trusts and their
champions would like the public to
believe.-Philadelph Record.
NOT so BOLD.
Mayor Schmitz's pompadour has
lost much of its vigor and assertive
ness.-Birmingham Age Herald.
MISSILES OF MoLLYCoDDLEs.
Things are going to the bad in Ar
kansas very rapidly. The other day
there was a row in the house of rep
resentatives, and ink wells and glass
tumblers were the only weapons used.
Salt Lake Herald.
POOR L1ltfTLE MOTHS.
The poor little moths which are
waiting for a chance to dine on our
winter clothes must be getting pretty
hungry.-Buffalo Express.
STRANGE THINGS.
A "dry' Atlantic City is reported.
White blackbirds may be expected
III II lie
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21
HIGHER YEDUCATION.

In the interstate oratorical contest,
participated in by eleven states, Kan
sas failed to score. The orator from
Notre Dame, Indiana, won first place.
However as long as Kansas can score
occasionally in a football game higher
education is safe.-Osborne Farmer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21

Some way the enemies of La Follett'
fail to extract any great amount OF com
fort from the election Of Stephenson.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21

Have you forgotten that a congress
man is to be elected in this COMPRESSION
al district Thursday?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21

make Kansas a doubtful state if they
should get their dander up" This is
merely a suggestion.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21

Now that the green bug scare is dying
out, somebody is trying to sic" a little
black bug on to the corn crop Some
thing has to be done to keep the farm
ers worried
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21
The Way With Poets.

The ethereal being with the unshorn
locks was shown into the editorial sane
tum.
Il have written a poem on the dog
he said.
whose dog?" demanded the editor
ffercely.
TT is not on any particular dog" fall
tered the poet.
do you mean to say that you took
advantage of the dog because 1t was not
particular and wrote your poem on it?"
Il am afraid that you do not under
stand me. I was inspired by the dogs
fidelity"
IF the dog was faithful, why should
you hurt it's feelings by writing a poem
on it? Did you have the poor brute
shaved and tattoo the versus on it's back,
or did you brand them on? Perhaps
you"
But the poet had f1ed!-Pearson's
Weekly.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21

If you have to buy flour you know
something of what the crop scares arr
doing to the bread market
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21

The news comes from Washington
that Secretary Taft is taking on flesh.
Must be the Taft boom is growing.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21

This green bug is causing as much
worry in Kansas as the gold bug die
ten years ago.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21

OF course, it couldn't be hoped that
Wisconsin would get another. senator
1ust like La Toilette.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21
Diplomatic Housecleaning.

cat this charming season., said an
editor, II think regretfully of the late
Josiah Flynt Willard, the famous ex-
pert on tramps. Mr.. Willard invari-
ably put on his tramping rags and
took to the road at this season. He
said the tramps were at their best
most amiable. most communicative
in the spring.
He used to laugh at their hatred
of housecleanings. They avoided
houses where that sort of thing was
going on. They had a little mark,
cross within a circle. that meant, Keep
housekeeping here
yes, they hated housekeeping.
They were often known to refuse a
roast beef dinner rather than beat a
carpet. They had in fact all sorts OF
yarns about the horrors of carpet beat
ing.
"willard told me a yarn that he
heard, on a May night, in a Maryland
meadow, beside a fire of rails torn
from a nearby fence.
"a woman according to this yarn
said to her husband:
Peter, I want you to give the hired
man a severe scolding.'
"'What for?' says Peter. The hired
man has been doing all right the last
week or two
:" I know that said the lady. But
he's got to beat six carpets today, and
he strikes so much harder when he's
in bad temper.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21
NO WHISKY "ADS /,

1t may be said to the credit of Kan
sas newspa pers, of whatever political
or other complications, that almost
without exception they refuse to pub
lish liquor advertisements, although
they could get good rates for running
such ads. We are constrained to be-
lieve, therefore, that the Kansas editor
is a better fellow than we are some
times led to believe he is.-Miami Re-
publican. IL 9nt
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21
COMPARATIVE VALUES.

Inc courts, according to popular
nope, come nearer than any other
agent in placing the correct value on
reason a decision given by the courts
In New York is Interesting. A Miss
Margaret Noakes and her chauffeur
We're riding in an automobile when
struck by New York Central train.
Each had a leg cut off Both sued
and the courts awarded the man $10,-
OOO damages, and the girl $4,000. The
man is poor and needed his leg in
earning a living; the girl has mill
golnng, dancing, and at athletic sports
or all kinds, in which she is particu-
larry proficient. But the courts valued
the girls leg at $25, 900 higher than the
mans. And still some women insist
that women don't get their rights!-
AtchiSon Globe
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21
NOT so BOLD.
POOR Lf4TLE MOTHS.

The poor little moths which ar
waiting for a chance to dine on ou
winter clothes must be getting prett.
hungry.-Buffalo Express.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS.

The State Journal is a member OF tne
Associated Press and receives the tun cay
telegraph report of that great news or
gsnizafion for the exclusive afternSon
publication in Topeka
The news Is received IN The stare Jour-
nal building over wires for this sole pur-
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21

Naggus Citerary editor)-By the way,
Borus, where did you get the material for
that society novel you're writing?
Borus struggling author)-At depart
ment store I'm using only the common
est kinds of pens, ink, and paper.-Chicago
Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21

brain.
Nurse-very likely; he's a railroad cap
italist-Baltimore American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21
HUMOR or THE Day

THE chief reforms urged railroads
are merely changing existing ones about.
I'm what way?"
Watering less stock on their capital and
more on the cattle trains. '-Baltimore
American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21
The Man With Forty Ghosts.

A popular novelist talked with re-
gret, at the Franklin Inn, a literary
club of Philadelphia, about the old
ghost habit of the past.
Famous painters first, and famous
writer's afterwards, alike had ghosts, "
he said These ghosts were pupils
disciples. They did the basic work of
the masters picture or novel, and the
master polished up, put on the finish
ing touches, and signed his name to it.
This practice, indeed, still maintains in
architecture.
"It was a practice that allowed
popular artist a manifold increase of
production and, consequently, of in
come Dumas, the elder Dumas, had
no less than 40 ghosts-40 intelligent
young men writing away for him about
D'Artagnan, Porthos, Aramis, and the
rest.
But Dumas was reckless. and the
existence of his 40 ghosts became
known. Hence a good deal of scandal.
Sat the height of this scandal Du-
mas said to lady one night:
Have you read my last book, mad
amp"
"The lady with mischievous smile
replied
&c No, Monsieur Dumas. Have you p"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21
STRANGE THINGS.

STRANGE THINGS.
A dry Atlantic City is reported.
White blackbirds may be expected
Anext.-Brooklyn Eagle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21
THE END OF FACTIONS.

About the only way to kill off Re
publican factions in Kansas is to kill
ture. There are factions in every or
ganization wherein there is anything
worth striving for. When the millennium
arrives there. will be no more need for
human strife and contention. Then the
factions will be wiped out-Paola Re
publican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21
TOUGH ON RArLRoADs.

The Kansas railroads at last have
met their match. S. S. Ashbaugh, the
newly appointed attorney for the rail-
road commission. sailed forth like an
armed warrior, like a plumed knight
with his lance sparkling in the morn
ing sun, and upheld the rights of the
people against the minions of corpor
ate greed, at Garden City this week
in an able and scholarly dissertation
on Homer" Now if he will up and at
them aagin with something of Thucyd-
ides, and follow that up with a good
hot one on Aristophanes, he will only
need a home run on Sappho, he will
have the game won. 1t Is curious how
in our American Democracy the occa-
sion finds the manI-Emporia Gazette.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21
How Mahogany Is round,

Mahogany trees do not grow in
clusters, but are scattered throughout
the forest and hidden in dense
growth of underbrush. vines and
creepers. and require a skillful and
experienced woodsman to find them.
He seeks the highest ground in a
forest climbs to the top of the tallest
tree, and surveys the surrounding
country. The mahogany has a peculiar
foliage, and his practiced eye soon de-
tects the tree within sight.
The axmen follow the hunter, and
them come the sawyers and hewers, a
large mahogany taking two men a full
day to fell it. The tree has large
spurs which project from the trunk at
its base, and scoffolds must be erected
SO that the tree can be cut off above
the spurs. This leaves a stump ten to
fifteen feet high, which is sheer waste,
as the stump really contains the best
lumber.
The hunter has nothing to do with
the work of cutting or removing the
tree, his duty being simply to locate
it. If he is clever and energetic. his
remuneration may amount to $500 or
$1,000 a month: but he may travel
weeks at a time without detecting a
tree, and as he is generally paid by re-
suits his earnings are rather precari-
ous-Unidentifed.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21

Tommy-My papa's automobile is a nicer
one than your papa's-
Dicky-Bein' nice amt nothin'. You can
smell my dads machine a mile away
Chicago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21
DelicatelY Put.

SCuyVeSanC FISH was discussing IN
Philadelphia the March panic.
THAT was delicately put" he said,
referring to a remark that indirectly
cast the blame for the panic on a GER
tain source. whether your remark
is true or false, it was couched deli
cateIy. 1t reminds me of the story of
the footman.
"a footman called his master up by
telephone and said:
81 regret to inform you, sir, that
your house is on fire and fast burning
down.
"'Oh.' cried the master, what a ter
rible misfortune! But my wife-is she
safe?
"'Quite safe, sir. She got out among
the first.
.'And my daughters they all
right?'
''All right, sir. They're with their
mother
There was a pause. Then:
And what about my mother-in-
law, James?'
"'That, sir said the footman suave-
ly, was what I wished to speak to you
about, sir, particular. Your mother
in-law is lynn asleep in the third story
back, and KNOWN your regard for her
comfort, sir, 1 wasn't sure whether
ought to disturb her or not, SIR 81"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21
LARGE STOCK IN STORE.

From the vigor with which Attor-
ney General Bonaparte is prosecuting
numerous trusts for violation of the
laws against rebates, it is apparent
that there is no such diminution of
this iniQuity as the trusts and their
champions would like the public to
believe-Philadelph Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21

us her husband so unendurably stupid?"
"Oh, dreadful. The only time he bright
ems uo is when she talks of divarce!'-
Seattle Post-Intelligencer
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21

Mrs. CoIdstream-Would you like glass
of water7
The Conservative Consumer-Not much.
None o. desc new-fangled drinks fer mel
Puck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21

Judge-Prisoner, have you anything to
say to the court before sentence is pro-
nounced?
Prisoner-I beg the court to consider the
youth of my attorney.-White and Black.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21

What sort of breakfast do you like, Mr.
Newcomer" asked Mrs. Starvem, on his
first morning in the house.
WELL" replied the new boarder, II
wouldn't mind some grapefruit, lamb
hot mullins and coffee. Philadelphia
Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21

Catch anything?" said the boy of his
schoolmate, who had played truant to go
fishing.
Nav" replied the truant in disgust.
but l will when 1 get home. "-Philadel-
phia Ledger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-21

Kids Mother-Of course, people joke
about 1t and all that, but just the same
baby may grow UP to be president.
Family Friend-Or if not president, he
may become "a Deliberate and Unqualified
Falsifier," which is almost as prominent,
you knoW.=Puck.
The daily tribune., 1907-05-28
FEED BABIES
| TO SERPENTS
! Tribe Of Indians in New Mexico
Worships Snakes and
Throws Infants to
the Reptiles.
CHARGE BY CATHOLIC PRIEST
Affair is to Be Closely Investi-
gated by the U. S. District
Attorney and Revela- Il
lations Will Be
Many.
CHARGE BY CATHOLIC PRIEST

Ell Paso, Tex, May 2S-That Il
tribe of Indians in New Mexico are
given up to the worship of an enor-
Gus serpent to which is fed the new
born babies of a pueblo in which it is
housed and carefully tended an d
guarded is alleged in complaint
filed by Catholic priest with United
States District Attorney Llewellyn
of New Mexico.
Maj. Llewellyn says the priest al
leges that dozen families were seq
regated from several pueblos around
about two years ago and formed into
a pueblo by themselves. That al
though it is known chat many chill
dren have been born to these families
not child is to be found in the
pubelo.
This led the priest to press his in
yestigations with the result that he
discovered that in an adobe house,
isolated and closely guarded, there is
an enormous serpent which is wor-
shipped by the Indians of all the
pueblos around, and that every babe
born in the small pueblo, and it is
suspected many others, are fed to the
serpent
Maj. Llewellyn, having no juris-
diction has filed the affidavit of the
priest and other evidence with the
territorial authorities.