Valentine Democrat., 1907-01-03

NNlCSY have been aYefSe 10 the
S4GRl future chances of the
tSG oil magnate, as the
churchman who upheld
him got two charges of
buckshot in the breast
June brought news from Des Molnes
that some highwaymen had returned to
James Morgan, their victim of the night
before, three teeth they had "uninten-
tionally" knocked out. They thoughtfully
suggested a plate setting.
And, with 1906 just dying, the White
Hall Republican reports: Harry Page,
the well-known theatrical manager, is at
home with sore feet"
So the months of 1906 have run.
Tombstone Tales.
In Germany, too, the year opened oddly.
One Schmeid had had carved upon his
deceased wifes tombstone some frigid
words to the effect that she had died of
unscrupulous treatment thereupon libel
suits followed, and the widower went to
Jail for fourteen days.
In Manila, Pedro Conception, admit
tedly the meanest man in the islands,
stole his mother-in-law's tombstone and
pawned it; and down in Owensboro,
KY, certain Mr. ]. Q. Haynes has ad-
vertised space for sale on the back OF
the monumental stone which marks his
fathers last resting place.
An actual sale of burial memorials was
held in September in Breslau. a ring
of undertakers had been formed to bear
prices, but a speculative outsider insist
ed on playing bull and the local troops
had to be called in to quiet the resultant
hard feeling.
Just Love.
A Chicago woman, who had prayed for
husband fifteen fruitless years before
plaster saint presumably interested in
such matters, disgusted at last threw the
Idol from the window. That did the bust
ness. When the man with the broken
head opened his eyes, it was to gaze into
those of the unwilling spinster, then play
ing nurse-and the wedding followed
One lover has cabled his proposal to
New York from Buenos Ayres, and an
other, over in London, took advantage OF
his dentists trade to send in his heart
deep proposition neatly engraved on the
out.
At Lynchburg. Md, were married a
couple who had found a new use for old
love letters The high contracting par
ties knelt upon white satin pillows stuff
ed to cracking with their amatOry epis-
ties.
SIow-But Sure.
Letters of another sort have figured in
ihe news of the twelvemOnth, for Elisha
Hawes of Stoughton, Mass, has received
Gin his ninety third year, one written to
him during the Civil War, by his boy,
then at the front; while another missive.
mailed in Boston in 1888, never reached
its object in Granville, n Y, till last
September.
Up in Biddeford, Me-. an honest farm
er had a dream reminding him that he
owed neighbor a dollar. Both had for
gotten it, but, having figured that the
loan was of twenty-six years standing,
it was formally closed up.
Donald Burns, keeper Of the birdhouse
in the New York Zoo, took a serpent's
tooth from his right thumb. That was
last October-but the original bite, which
had presented the man with the sharp
little memento, bore date of 1887, and
was inflicted on the left forefinger.
A London magistrate has discharged
man and his wife charged with conspir-
acy, on the ground that they were legally
one person, and one person could not
conspire.
A Chicago physician was found guilty
J,o boJ 1ioo
nosed certain case in a way afterward
proved wrong. The jury regarded his
fee as distinctly obtained under false
pretenses, and the NJ. D. had to give back
$40.
At Bloomington, H., Cap Ijans has
sued the estate of dead friend for So
600, alleging his services were worth
that, since, for three years before the
death of the deceased, he had told him
funny stories every day. Public opinion
seems to be that any man who could do
that sort of thing so long and himself
survive, is worth whatever ne asks.
Another glimpse of legal methods has
come across from Alsace. The mayor of
the town was caught picking the pockets
OF prisoner and was sent up for a
month
Wilmington has produced the champion
thirteen story. Francis f. Davis. with
thirteen letters in his name, was arrest
ed by Patrolman Francis G. Green
(ditto), at 10 :13 on Jan. Is. the call 60
ing in from box Is. At 9:13 next day
he was arraigned before Edwin r. Coch-
ran (thirteen letters AGAIN. and his fine
and costs totaled at exactly S13.
Miss Margaret Schidu of Cleveland, on
Aug. %, sent invitations to twenty-three
friends to attend her twenty-third birth
day party, Sept. %, at % East Twenty
third street. An orchestra of twenty
three pieces discoursed exactly twenty
three sweet dances from behind twenty
three palms.
The other hoodoo digits came up twice
In April; once when a Baltimore darky
was arrested for stealing thirteen chick
ems; again at st. Louis, where baseball
"fan" fell dead of heart disease during
the thirteenth inning of the St Louis
Pittsburg game.
Chicago and Kansas City give two of
the best of the years hard liquor yarns
In one case three saloonkeepers were