davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1907-02-12
Golden Makes Good
As Chase Feature

George Fuller Golden with his clever
menologue redeems this weeks bill at
Chase's from mediocrity. Coming on
The scene late in the evening Mr.. Golden
was received with unstinLed applause
His running fire Of witticisms and car
features are always enjoyable and par
ticularlv so last night. when his en-
trance was like an oasis in q desert
Of dullness.
Emerson and Baldwin opened the bill
with "a tumble of joyous surprises, q"
which we're well executed on the whole,
hut married by several hang-nres. The
team German and West presented a
musical comedy" They played it for
fifteen minutes. Bessie wynn, who is
beraIded on the program as late of the
Wizard Of on and Babes in Toyland."
sang effectively and sweetly several old
SONGS. among them being the Teddy
Bear Ballad" which has been heard
here on more than one occasion this
season.
The exposition four composed OF the
Alexander Brothers and James Brady
gave some excellent music on an as
Sortnent of instruments. Their ace
would have been thoroughly enjoyable
had they only forgotten that they were
scheduled to sing. La Troupe Carmen,
wire walkers and acrobatS, presented
some thrilling feats along stereotyped
lines.
Then came George Fuller Golden. and
the audience was given an opportunity
10 forget its troubles.
Nine Theresa REM in an equestrienne
set received hearty applause The act
was an exceptionally picturesque one,
the rider being graceful and her horses
The Washington times., 1907-02-12

declares that IT is time TO get rid OF
the Christian idea. We have hunted
Jesus Christ out OF the army, the navy,
The schools, the hospitals, insane and
orphan asylums and law courts, and
now we must hunt Him out the state
altogether.
When such ords are not the eX-
pressiOus OF individual atheism. but the
formal announcement OF an anti-re-
ligiOus, political. and social movement
then all believers in God, in Christ. and
IN Immortality must promptly take their
stand for their faith and FOR all that
the maintenance Of Christianity means
20 the upiiftment Of the world and the
salvation o. the race.
Intolerance Of the State.
Freedom Of faith. tolerance Of opin-
ion, inviOlable right 70 believe what we
viii, and serve God as our conscience
commands US, absolute liberty to all our
brothers 10 do the same thing-this Is
what free institutions mean. Men have
rabelled against the intolerance Of
dogma; men should no less rebel against
the Intolerance Of politics. Men have
resisted intolerance Of the church. both
Protestant and Catholic; men should no
less resist the intolerance Of the state,
whether republican or mOnarchical"
The Washington times., 1907-02-12
HOW 1T FEELS WHEN THE EARTH
SLIPS.

What did ! think Of? Let me see:
The first dim thought that came 10 me
Was--Say. rs funny how II was
i noticed firSI a little buzz.
And taea the earth began TO squirm
And wTithe and twist and coil around
Just ike a waking woOily worm
And then began 20 bounce and bound.
And then the fCor was agitated-
The walls and chimnSys osciliated.
And by some marvellous propulsion
The hills We're shaken in CONFUSION;
The sky commenced to jar and jiggie,
The streets began Z, warp and wiggle,
And down below with sudden thump
There was a jump
And things went buUpi
Then Nil began to quake and culver
And everything To shake and SILVER,
NV mind was full of CONSERVATION
With every hUrTying vibration,
And then there was roll and rumble
And things commenced 10 toss and
tumble.
The fenees all began 20 ambIe.
The distant trees were in scramble,
Then down below there was popping
And all the world seemed to be drop
Tt sank and sank. peH nell. peu mellsr,
Until II struck creations cellar.
And then il rose with rush and rip
with Slam and slide and slap and
witt issco5Tmper, scoop, and skim, and
skipping
With winding. ETirGir~.
Rocking. shocking,
footing. shooting,
ScoOt{ng hOCtin-.
Rim BAN
Eer-slami
And wrangIed and changed against the
sky.
And elid amid the stars SO high,
And Jared and jOlted.
hinged and bClted,
And rocked.
And Knocked
Fizzcd.
WhlZZed.
Sized.
IfngIed tinglet intcrminEled-
tangled. tangled. dipped and dangled
Whirled and curled
And rruTd1hOut
II few. WhirrOOI
Turned inside out.
And then Il groaned and moaned and
ratified
And all rhc jnsida-outside battled-
And then it settled down 20 quiet
Forgetting all its ronp and riot.
And 7 hung on. clear out OF breath,
Limp. weak and almost
Scared
to
DEATH
Chicago Evening Pest.
The Washington times., 1907-02-12
Seventeen Cents ReWdrd
For Brave New Workers
Left Actress to Fight PiCkpoCket Singe-hand-
ed, But She Won, Got Money Back, and
Put Victim i'm Snow Bank.

NEW YORK. Feb. r. II the jour
neyman pickpocket whom Miss Joseph
inc Park, OF 'BrewsteT's Millions" put
on his back IN a snOwbank yesterday.
viii call at the New Amsterdam The
alter she VIII give him back his hat
The seventeen cents which he took from
her and which she recovered. she offers
as a reward for the apprehension Of the
brave gentleman on a CrOss-towu car
who left her TO battle with the thief
alone.
Yesterday afternoon Miss Park was on
her way from the Martha Washington
The Washington times., 1907-02-12

Hotel 10 the theater. when the rear
guard Of the car got busy. One Of them
crowded her anG, when she protested,
snatched her purse and ran. She did
not wait for the car 20 stop, but hit
the street standing.
But others Of the crowd made tracks.
One Of the trio she overlook and gave
him a lesson in Platouism, which shs
affects on the stage. She showed him
just how cold the PlatOuiC philosophy
bank and then she took her property
from him He got up and went away,
leaving his hat
The Washington times., 1907-02-12
KAISER'S CHILD'S CARRIAGE
RUNS OVER LITTLE BOY

POTSDAAI. Feb. IA carriage con
tanning the little Princess Victoria.
daughter OF the Kaiser. ran over an
eleycn-year-Old boy He was carried
into a shop and the princess tried 70
follow. but she was roughly repUlsed
by a policeman. who told her 20 go
about her business.
The Washington times., 1907-02-12

from curtain 10 curtain and vastly
pleased the two large audiences that
visited the Eleventh street theater yes
terday afternoon and evening. There
are the usual opening and closing bur-
iesques, and a pleasing olio- In the
travesties the chorus is more than or
diuariIy attractive in both face and
figure, the various beUitching costumes
adding greatly 10 the entire affair.
The singing Of several popular song
hits 10y Miss Alice Shrode and company
are the features OF a coed show.
The Washington times., 1907-02-12
SAM DEvERE'S OWN COMPANY
SUITS BURLESQUE LOVERS

When sam Devere's own Company"
comes TO the Lyceum. il needs very little
recommendation TO draw the crowds 20
this popular playhouse. This weeks
bin. Fun at the Seashore. does not
differ from its predecessors. I is good
The Washington times., 1907-02-12
THIRTY YEARS AT CORNELL.

Prof George W. Jones. head of the de-
p3rtmert Of mathematics Of Cornell
University. VIII retire at the end OF Il
present year The board Of trustet
viii ask the Carnegie endowment fur
for pension for him. Prof. Jones wer
20 Cornell as the head Of the depar'
ment Of mathematics in 1871 and he
occupied that place ever since. He IS on
OF the oldest men in point OF service o
the Cornell faculty. He Is the author
several treatises and text books.
The Washington times., 1907-02-12
The Embassy Ball
FHmer Than Ever

THE Embassy Ball." as presented at
the Columbia Theater last night with
Lawrence d Orsay as the star, was quite
different from "The Embassy Ball. as
Washington saw it when it was first
presented here. The plot IS about the
same. but oceans of talk have been cut
out Of the piece. and the action is ac-
celepSted.
D'orsay plays the part of Captain, the
The Washington times., 1907-02-12

Congress having gone on record in
favor OF horses by passing an act for
the regulation of veterinary practice in
the District. it is presumed the Com
missiOners will come down on the au-
tomobIle harder than ever.
The Washington times., 1907-02-12

Public confidence IN Mayor Dunno. Of
Chicago, has been increasing rapidly
since IL developed that the city council
was practically unanimous IN opposition
to him.
The Washington times., 1907-02-12

Doubtless the disconcerting thought
viii not be entertained by Congressman
GrOsvenor that all this entertaining on
the eve Of his departure might also in
dictate certain satisfaction that he and
his sharp tongue are to remain away
next session.
The Washington times., 1907-02-12

Seems To be no indication yet as TO
when they will get through with the
trial Of Stanford White and get around
to that OF Thaw.
The Washington times., 1907-02-12

Our local draymen seem to be broad
~ tired all right
The Washington times., 1907-02-12

Baltimore wants a union station like
Ou-s She has the start on us as il is
The railroads already use electricity on
her outskirts
The Washington times., 1907-02-12

Admiral Hairi Pasha was suddenly
removed for refusal to obey the trade
OF the Sultan Il is a mistake, however.
10 indulge IN the natural presumption
that he was ordered to get a shave.
The Washington times., 1907-02-12

II President Diaz continues trying to
infringe on the Roosevelt franchise OF
chief peacemaker Of the Western
Hemisphere. it may be necessary to
make demonstration in his direction.
The Washington times., 1907-02-12

animals Of clean cut limbs and well
trained.
The bill closes with the American
NlJagraph.
The Washington times., 1907-02-12

They have put the District dreboat to
work keeping the channel clear Of ice
Everything on the farm has its use once
a year.
The Washington times., 1907-02-12

That Ohio young man who needs only
a wife 10 make him sure of "A seO.OOO. OOl
Inheritance viii probably have no great
difficulty about getting one.
The Washington times., 1907-02-12

Now, who'd have supposed that the
President. with the House on his hands
and the Senate on his back, would have
found time TO read all those shocking
details Of the Thaw trial.
The Washington times., 1907-02-12

We speak 10 have the American
Dreadnaught launched in the James
Creek canal
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-06-08
Eph,s Condition.

Ephram Brown an me are neighbors-
been 60 more than forty year:
But OF late he's got to actin an n-taikin'
.. = mighty queer,
For whene'er i chance tew meet him,
Josh'y Jones" he seZ, seq he,
Tell me. N yew kin what wuz /, an
what be goin' tew be?''
When he seq tew me, what wuz II" in
that holler sort o. way,
l don't make no bones o. leayin' with a
kind o. short Good day"
When he SEE, What will be, Josh?'
with that daft look in his eye.
Jest bolt out mighty sudden without
:, mentionln' "Goodby."
Hes a-gittin' wuss an wusser, with that
wild look In his face;
An ne even asks them questions TO the
critters on the place.
"Wuz once q Cochin China or a bark
in dog?" sez he
III j wuzzent me, who wuz l, an who
be goin' tow be7''
can't make no Specialization when he puts
the thing that way.
But I'm wishin' he would ask me, Josh.
what be right tewday7'
could answer him 30 sudden that
low 'twould make him slick
ia say, "Eph. IN my opeenyon. yew're
ratin' l0onytlok"
--Lursns N. sheldon.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-06-08
LADY ISABEL'S
GUEST
BY MRS. MESH.
(CopyrIeht. BY Joseph 3. eowIes.l

NCNbs' 'bhNf ~ -
Lady Isabel leaned back with des-
pairing sigh.
You see,' she explained to me
"Vernon's Aunt Marian has just writ
ten TO say she is coming TO us for two
whole months. Two months" groaned
Lady Isabel, and one of them will
be in the height of the season"
ut will please your husband TO have
her | said tentatively
viii it?" echoed Lady Isabel. "Yon
should have heard what he said when
showed him the letter"
why do you have her then, If
neither of you want her?"
Vernon says we must, because she
is awrully rich. and has no one else
to leave her money to- and, of course,
have my poor darling daughter Bab's
future to consider" said Lady Isabel
unselfshly.
Poor you" | said with sympathy.
She smiled. "lt'll be poor Vernon
she won't see much of me, Marjorie;
for am too i'll, really, to come down.
stairs"
| stared Are you ill?"
Lady Isabel leant back in her chair
and sighed family. mo, but am go
ing to be--that is how mean to get
her away before the season IL can"
But you can't be III If YOU aren't
ill.," | said argumentatively. .-
Cant II" said Lady Isabel, you
wait and see"
felt rather sorry for Lord Etch-
ngton, whom | met on the stairs.
Going, Miss Anstruther," he said;
has Isabel told you my Aunt Marian
is coming to MS for two months?"
lie laughed, then sighed dejectedly.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-06-08

She's a holy terror-won't you come
around and help poor little Isabel to
entertain her? It's rather a bore any
one coming TO her for so long, and she
Is bringing not only maid, bEt two
pugs and a parrot, and poot Isabel
cannot bear pugs or a roises
Poor Lord Etchington. his only
thought was for his wi.e's comfort;
and ! wondered as | went away, after
promising to como and take the old
lady off their hands sometimes, why
this sort of woman always gets one
Of the few unselfish men there are In
the world.
Three days later went round TO call
Lady lsabel's husband was having tea
with the aunt, a most fearsome look.
ing old lady, not unlike the parrot
whose cage was at her side. He rose
TO meet me with the utmost relief.
Il am so glad you have come. Miss
Anstruther," he said anxiously; lisa.
bel does not seem at all we'll"
Not well?' | echoed family.
Nv oht oas bhb 10 Nbig "
I have sent for Dr. Parkes; but / wish
you would go up and see her"
"Of course ] WILL" | said, now at
once" AS ] turned to leave the room
a metallic voice said:
My dear Vernon, you spoil that
young woman; she was perfectly well
last night at dinner have no pa.
tience with these modern Ats of III.
ness, Now in my day young women
-"
Nasty old cat" added the parrot,
who must, ] think, have been down In
the kitchen.
found Isabel lying on the sofa in a
mauve chiffon sautde-llt, and Elise
lowering over her with much anxiety.
Are you going to ask DR., Parkes
to order You away, lsabel?" asked,
anticipating a little.
She shook her head. mo, dear. Il
wouldn't be any good: you see! she
would he sure to offer TO come as well.
She has already upset the waole
house; Minto and her pugs had fear.
ful hght last night, and the head
housemaid came to me in tears this
morning and said she couldn't nut
up with being took to task. and Mrs.
Green says she can't have that maid
in and out of her kitchen all day for
two months and she would rather 10
now, If it's all the same to mel"
Poor Lady Isabel After seeing
the aunt ! began TO feel really sorry.
Cannot you tell her you are unable
10 put her up for more than a month";
! suggested. Aa....As !
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-06-08
A MUSICAL. EVENT. s-

or Bllrs solemn kind o. man; he les
looks straight ahead,
An has a serious way O. takln' everything
dats said
You won't find no one auieter. no matter
whah you search.
He owns a house an lot an is a member
OF de church.
Dars only one thing tempts him now an
then to step aside
Fun all his ordinary ways OF dignity an
pride,
An den de family gathers 'roun'; dey
hears Il mighty soon
Wen oil Bin takes dc banjo down an
stshts little tune.
At fus' he strikes a lively one-he sorter
shets his eyes.
Like he was lookln far away acrost de
distant skies
An seein' way back yonder when he
danced across de flo
WIFI folks dat was young folks wifi him
dat mus be long agol
II soun's jes like de robin an de cricket
an de bee
A-joinin' In together in contest foh TO
see
which one OF EN- kin make de loudes'
music In de Ian,
An oil Bill, he ies' SITS an plays, de lead
er Of de BAN
An den he huns little song; he huns II
sof' an low:
De banjo seems to answer back. II some
how pears 10 know
He's thinkln' bout de starlight an de
lonesome whippoorwlll
Dat used to tell it's troubles rum de woods
upon do hill.
An den he smiles like some one was a.
callin', far away
Oar amt nobody round here dat kin
make him smile dat way.
IT'S like de honeysuckles sighin' sweetness
to de moon
When oil Bill takes de banjo down an
stahts little tune.
Washington star.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-06-08
He Took Il Literally.

Billings ordered some wall paper.
The store sent a, consignment OF
paper, together with a paperhanger, to
Billings home.
Billings looked at the paper and
found IL was not the pattern he had
ordered.
He told the paperhanger in a vigor-
Gus manner that he disapproved of the
paper and then started for the store
TO have his order filed as given.
When he arrived home lie found the
wrong paper on the wall.
"Why did you hang this paperp he
asked the paperhanger,
Because you told me to-" was the
response.
Nothing of the sort!' cried Billings.
p 81 remember your exact words, SIR
said the paperhangcr.
"What were theyT"
"You said, That isn't the paper
ordered, hang It alp"
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-06-08

II the individual who keeps sending
us postal cards from Santa Fe to the
effect that he is on our trail and bound
TO wipe us out will come along and
have the circus over with. we will
guarantee to pay his expenses We
hate TO shiver for three or four months
In anticipation. Any one will point
out the Kicker office to him on his ar
rival On entering turn to the right.
AS soon as entering the sonctum begin
to shoot at the man ut the desk.
NJ. QUAD.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-06-08
TIE MARSH y r.
n n MARIGOLD

Caltha palustrus-the marigold-
Flameth aire as its leaves unfold,
yellow and bright Like a sunset glow,
Carpets the marsh where the zephyrs
blow!
Caltha palustrus-the marigold.
Stlrreth within me sweet memr res old,
Thoughts of a maiden, with true blue
eyes,
Pluckng them there meath the halcyon
skies! .4
Caltha palustrus-the marigold
Speaks of a day when ones hope was
bold.
Tells of time when the heart was light.
Throbbing i'm Faith, with no thoughts OF
night
Caltha palustrus--the marigold-'
Faint from thy petals OF fairy mold.
Watts DER the chasm of years that fee,
Incense of youth, and its grace to me,
Byron Williams.
Copyright.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-06-08
Fair Exohnnna.

The man who had been undergoing
the tortures OF lightning shave on n
Saturday night stepped from the chair
and fshed out dime.
"But don't you think you ought TO
give me an extra nlck?' FASTENED the
slangy barber.
II suppose so, bub," replied the pa
tron as he rubbed his sliced chin. 81
notice you gave me several mcks."-
Detroit Tribune.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-06-08
Perfume for Paris sore..

Paris.--The experiment of perfum.
ing the Paris subways has been made
with great success. Az certain hours
OF the day a car fitted with special
Notwithstanding apparatus is run
over the lines and for period after
its passage the stations are filled with
the odors Of Araby, the blest.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-06-08
The BenutY Of an heiress.

You are very pretty" he said TO the
heiress.
She was wise girl and realized her
own plainness.
II fancy" she replied, that my pret
tiness was inherited along with my
graudrather's money"-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-06-08
littIo In Comparisop.

ITS fact" said Towne. that my
wife is able TO dress on comparatively
little money"
"Whatw exclaimed Marryat. ooh,
come now, what do you mean by com.
paratlvely littleT"
81 mean on little compared with
what she thinks she ought to have
Catholic Standard and Times.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-06-08
No Novice.

why" asked her mother, "do you
think Mr.. Sniggesley has had expert
ence in lovemakingT'
II noticed that he took pains when
ever he tried to kiss me to arrange It
so that we could not be. seen by any
one who might be peeping through the
keyhole. Chicago Record Herald.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-06-08
Contentment.

Tn happy now as one can be.
Az least, upon this earth
Because / haven't time TO think
How little ! am worth.
It's really gratifying 10
Forget how poor you are
While riding In an auto--er.
| mean a mortgaged car.
II used 10 trouble me TO meet
Ny creditors. for they
Have such faculty az times
or getting IN the way.
But now scarcely see them In
My touring-er, l mean
A mortgaged automobile run
with borrowed gasollnel
New York Life.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-06-08
Not a Ready Reekoner.

Tess-Relle is q queer girl. You
know she took first prize for mathe.
matics at Vassar
Jess Well?
Tess--Well, when her mother asked
Belle how often Mr.. Huggard had
kissed her the other night she said she
couldn't tell.-Philadelphia Press.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-06-08
sordid.

DO you believe in art for arts
sakef' asked the transcendentallst,
NO." answered the materiallst; "the
mention of art for arts sake usually
means request TO work hard without
getting paid for it."-Washlugton Star
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-06-08
A Kick Cnn,inn

Jack-Are you treated well when you
call at Miss RoSleigh's home?
Tom-Yes, except when her father Is
around: then ! have a kick coming
Des Moines Register.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-06-08

Mine host of the White Wolf hotel
has been somewhat perturbcd FOR the
last five days. A Philadelphia sad
dlery drummer who was guest Of
the house kicked because his table
knife happened TO lack handle and
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-06-08

did understand you TO sGy that
all rum selling has been stopped in
your town.
mot at all ! merely said it was
strictly prohibited."-CatholIc Standard
and Times.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-06-08
china euys 2.ooo.ooo RIn.,

Berlin. The Chinese government has
ordered 100000 rides through a Ger
man firm in Shanghai, with the object
Of arming tho troops throughout the
empire With the same type Of weapon,
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-06-08

We have a communication from the
Black Hand Of New Mexico demand.
ing that we put the sum Of S1.OOO.OOO
under a certain stone within thirty
days or suffer death
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-06-08

Y We did intend TO lie about our cir.
culation this week. but one thing aud
another has happened TO call our mind
elsewhere Watch out for next week
We have got a hair raiser of a state.
ment coming. For the moment It Is
enough TO say that we are hitting the
billion mark again and that the EN-
press of China Is writing MS private
letters and begging our advice AZ 10
how 90 run her cid empire
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-06-08

fENtD TO LACK HANDLE.
because the shine had worn off his tea.
spoon and in the alteration resulting
he was shot through the shoulder.
Mine host, who is a new man from
Idaho, shouldn't worry about such
trites. They are incidental TO every
busy community. The old landlord
thought times were dull when he
didn't pepper at least two kickers per
week.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-06-08
SOME KICKER ITEMS.
Lots Doing In the Neiahborhood
OF Giveadam GuIch.
WHITE WOLF HOTEL AFFAIR.

What Happened to the Saddle Drum.
mor From tho City Of 5rotherly Love
Who Kicked Because Things Were
Not to His Liking.
Icopyright laO7, by NJ. NJ. Cunningham J
Major Henderson of Lone Jack an-
nounces that he will shoot us on sight
We hope he will pay us the borrowed
money he owes us first.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-06-08

On Tuesday evening last at the meet
ing OF the common council Alderman
Flnnegan dcrie1 our ruling that an
Amendment 90 motion must bc voted
on FIRST, and he started to draw to up
hold his contention. He was slow. as
usual, and when he found that we had
him covered he sat down aud subsid
ed, The mayor who can't run n couu
Gil with Cushlng's Manual and a gun
is dead failure.