The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1907-03-16
GOOD
Short Storiss
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Oliver Herford. who is equally Ia
nous as q poet, illustrator and bril-
liant wit, was entertaining four mag
axine editors at luncheon when the bell
rang, and maid entered with the
mail "AhL" said an editor, IAN epis-
tie" NO." said Mr.. Herford, TEARING
open the envelope mot an epistle, q
collect"
Walking about his estate Mr.. Dives
halted a laborer who was digging q
drain, and solemnly inquired II he were
ready to die. The man admitted that
he hadn't thought of passing away just
yet But every time l breathe, a man
dies" solemnly remarked the million
airs In tones of terrible warning.
"Gee!" cried the unmoved laborer.
why don't you chew few cloves7"
If I 60 on trial." said the prisoner,
do l have to sit here and hear all the
hypothetical questions asked by the
lawyers?" Certainly" said the Judge.
"And hear all the handwriting ex-
pertsT "Of course" "And follow the
reasoning Of the chemistry and insan-
ity experts?" "Very probably" said
the Judge. well, then, Judge, 1 will
enter my plea" what is itY' asked
the Judge. "Guilty!''
M. Deverne was waiting at a station
in Ireland for his train. Two Irish
men entered and engaged in the follow
Ing conversation: "Sure, Pat, it's down
to Kilmary Eve been, on me way back
now to Kil-Patrick." "Arrah, musha,
Mike, It's meself that's just after COM
ing from being down to Kilkenny,
stopped bit before go down to Kill
Moore" II say, Pat, let us take the
day and 60 down to Kil-Maule." Eye
gods" exclaimed the Frenchman, what
assassinA Would that l were back in
France"
A yellow-haired descendant Of the
Vikings walked into the Office Of a
prominent attorney the other day and
said: "Ay want you to make some
papers out Az buy a farm in Powell
Valley, and ay tank ay want mort :
gage" why do you want mort
gage" exclaimed the lawyer, III you
bought the farm? Don't you want a
deedT' "No, ay tank not. Sax years
ago ay buy farm and getta deed and
neder fellar come along with mort
gage and tax da farm. Az tank ay
tax a mortgage"
Henry Arthur Jones, the noted En-
glish playwright, was giving the stu
dents of Yale an address on the drama.
''Your American vernacular is pictur-
ssQue," he said, "and it should help
your playwrights to build strong, racy
plays But neither vernacular nor any
thing else is Of moment IL perseverance
10 lacking. No playwright can succeed
who, Is like a man I know. ! said to
this man, one New Years Day: DO
you keep a diary, Philip Yes he
answered. I've kept one for the flrst
two weeks in January for the last sew
en- years."
"A
ness Is certainly a Paris citizen. who
appeared the other day before a mag
istrate to ask for marriage license.
He answered correctly and without
hesitation all the questions as to his
name, age and occupation, but when
asked for the name of his finance he
became embarrassed, and finally replied
de1ectedly that he had entirely forgot
ten to ask her for 1t. This, remarks q
Boulevard paper, recalls the distraction
of the famous fable poet, La Fontaine.
Meeting one day in salon young
man, he was 30 favorably impressed
by his conversation that he expressed
his admiration for him In the most
1attering terms. "But he Is your own
son!" exclaimed a guest, In astonish-
ment lis it soY replied the poet;
"then I am the more delighted to make
his acquaintance"