davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1907-03-13
AIJTOMOBILISTS JOIN
 ROADMAKERS

Pittsburg, March 13.-The Road makers convention is remarkable for the great interest taken in 1t Inv those who are not rOadmakcrS. 5rrhe automobilists manifest as much interest as though they had called the convention themselves. Gov ernor Stuart worked very strongly for this convention and in letter to the chief executive of other states sand: "The progress of highway reform has made very rapid prog ress and sharp strides during the past two years. The question of transDOrtation is most important, and it is therefore, felt that the states which have adopted some definite plan oI supervision and state aid should disseminate the result of their experiences as wide ly as possible for the benefit of the other states. The state of Penn sylvania has made large appropria- tons for this work I am inter-
 ested in the success of this cOnven
 tion and am glad to second the ef- forts of those who have it in charge.'' The convention is a record one and is the largest ever held in the United States for the considera
 tiOn of highway Improvements. There is large attendance of auto mobilists. The automobilists take the delegates by the arm and talk good roads to them, showing the economy in constructing them, and the facility with which distant To- calities are brought together; the contribution to business in that
 people of different localities can carry their products to market or can exchange their commodities at an advantage. They represent that part of Pennsylvania that has taken it's roads in time has profited great ly by it's timely work, and that the people along the routes under con-
 sideration are heartily in favor of the improvement, they having seen to it that all the arguments in favor of better roads have been duly and strongly presented to them.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1907-03-13
SAID TO RELIEVE
 ALL RHEUMATISM.

* Fluid Extract DandeliOn, one- $ half ounce; Compound Kargon, * one ounce; Compound Syrup * Sarsaparilla, three ounces. Mix & by shaking well in a bottle and < take in teaspOOnful doses after * each meal and at bedtime These * ingredients can be obtained at moderate cost at any good pre- scription pharmacy, and, being * composed mainly of vegetable * extracts, are harmless and will
 not injure the most delicate * stomach.
 * This simple prescription is
 * said to perform remarkable cures, i'll many cases of years * standing.
 * It has a peculiar effect upon * the kidneys, assisting these most important organs to filter * and strain from the blood the * uric acid, uria, etc, which causes * the pain and misery of Rheuma- * tism.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1907-03-13
MAN SUED FOR
 TELLING A LIE

New York, March 13-Wall street has had a fit of astonishment. Here's a suit brought against a prominent man which rests upon the claim that he told lie. The man is no less a parsonage than Charles w. Morse and the charge is made by three citizens of Massachusetts, who claim that Morse did not keep his agreement, and also told lie about the property they turned over to him. It is prob able that Morse was also astonished at having such an accusation made about transactions in which he was engaged, but he certainly never eX- pected to be brought to book for them. If the thing spreads there will be a great overturning in Wall street.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1907-03-13

Nothing so thoroughly removes disease germs from the system as Prickly Ash Bitters It gives lie and action to the torpid liver, strengthens and assists the kidneys to properly cleanse the blood, gives tone to the stomach, purifies the bowels, and promotes good appe- tite, vigor and cheerfulness.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1907-03-13

PINE BLUFF IRON WORKS
 General Founders and Machlnista
 Brass and Iron Castings and Hs chine Repairing. Stock of all stAno ard goods and castings carried q stock all the time. Locomotivea aD zines and Boilers Repaired. Lon1 distance telephones. day. A76: nigh, S34. Pine Bluff, Arkansaa Note We operate our machine shop botl day and night.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1907-03-13

After heavy meal, take couple of Deans Regulets, and give your stomach, liver and bowels the help they will need Regulets bring easy, regular passages of the bowels.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1907-03-13

1iLLtEY FOUNDRY COMPANY,
 Logging Locomotles, road an( rat shglnes, boilers saw and blaming mib machinery. iron and brass eastinsN nd machinery supplies.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1907-03-13

Evervbody's friend-Dr. Thomas Ecleetric Oil. Cures toothache, earache, sore throat. Heals cuts, bruises, scalds. Stops any pain.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1907-03-13
BUSINESS DIRECTORY

Come of the Leading and merit liberal share your onaqe
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-17
Sir Patrick Was Willing

NEXT morning, when his head was sorer and a
~ trife clearer, he sent for the man, gave him a
handful of gold, and said, Pat, you mustn't mind
anything that passed last night; it was all joke
so think more about it."
Sir Patrick put the money in his pocket but
toned up the pocket carefully, and with his finest
bow replied, As to that, Your Excellency, sure it,
all wan to me; but what will Lady Shaughnessy
say?"
1t is one of the traits of Irish humor that it is so
often concealed under cloak of apparent simplicity
even stupidity at times, when the only object of the
humorist is to enjoy humbugging the unsuspecting
stranger with what looks like an Irish bull have
heard public speaker tell, as an Irish bull, the
answer of who had boosted of having fought
all through the Civil War, from the first battle to
the last
Il suppose you were at Bull RUM" quered
sneering listener.
Il was"
And suppose you ran away didn't your"
Il did Thin that didn't are there yit'
The man who gave that answer could afford not
to care very much whether stupid individual
considered it witticsm a bull
1t is, or ought to be, axiom in political economy
that no wise man can afford to be witty. AS Sydney
Smith said of a contemporary clergyman who was
distinguished as much for his duness as for his rapid
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-17
1t Was q Good
Fight While 1t
Lasted.

Swift Goldsmith Sheridan, Steele, Sterne, and
of one of them, For the qualities of sheer wit
and humor, Swift had no superior, ancient or
modern" Great as he was, however, Swift lived
to prove the truth of Dryden's lines:
Great wits sure to madness allied,
And thin Partitions do their bounds divide @
.-' p go Never Lost His Wit -. ...-..s,
DUT even in his old age and insanity his quick
ID Irish wit was alive and awake. The last thing he
wrote was an impromptu on the construction
of magazine for military stores which an attendant
pointed out to him as they were driving by Ireland
had lost her liberties and the incongruity of thus
deliberately locking the stable doors after the horses
were stolen inspired the savage epigram - - =
Behold a proof of Irish sense!
Here Irish wit is seen -, - S.
When nothings left that's worth defense,
They burd nagazine '-.N.&
Of genial Gold smith there is only one opinion,
whether among his contemporaries or in the verdict
of posterity. Thackeray, who did not love Swift,
denied that the Dean was true 1rishman. He
and friendly word from Goldsmith, than have been
behoden to the Dean for guinea and a dinner.
He insulted a man as he served him, and flung his
benefactions into poor mems faces. No, the Dean
was no Irishman-no Irishman gave, but with
kind word and kind heart"
This is severe condemnation of Swift; but
Thackeray it must be remembered, could travel
through Ireland and see only amusing things while
Swift who lived there, only the utter misery
and hopelessness around him, and was half in earnest
when he wrote his famous modest proposal, that
the children of the poor should be sold to the rch
to be killed and eaten, advantageous thing for
both parties since it would enable the poor to have
something worth selling, which by law may be
made liable to process of distress and so help
to pay their landlords rent; their corn and r
cattle being already seized, and money a
thing unknown n
But Thackeray did not love any Irishman ~
who served Ireland, and used all his satire - X
in ridiculing the gallant young, patriots of the
48 rising, we'll O'Connell, who op- y
posed to them but loved Ireland also. Therein b
Thackeray let his preudices away with
his of humor, for o Connell was witty -
he was patriotic, which is saying a good =
deal
Everybody knows the story of his encounter II
with Biddy Morarty, the Dublin fshwoman, -
whom nobody before had ever dared face in a
duel of words but who wholly defeated
and silenced when O'Connell assailed her with =
such vituperative epithets - an old n.y.
potenuse" and parallelopipedon."
There client whom O'Connell de-
Tended successfully from the charge of high
way robbery. The grateful: He
was also appreciative; and when he =
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-17

u >. deal to the liberal infusion OF Irish blood,
during the last century or more. At
least there IS nothing at all resembling it IN the
literature tradition of the early days, before and
Immediately after the Revolution.
The whimsical extravaganza of statement, the
sudden inversion of ideas, and the grave reduction
of serious proposition to delicious absurdity-
all these traits of what we call American humor
dstinctively Irish also, but Irish qualified by
tain mock gravity that is purely native to the Amer
lean soil. An Irishman from the Old Country
notices at once the great difference in speech and
manner between his people at home and those
transplanted to the United States especially the
children of the immigrants. The humor OF the
American side is more tinged with satire. 1t has
less of cheerful, irresponsible grotesqueness. 1t
provokes smile, where the original raises laugh.
There is no history written of Irish humor.
Similarly, although very funny things have been
said and done in prison, there is volume of jail
jocosities. The people most concerned have had
other things of a more serious nature to occupy
their minds But even the gravest narratives of
early days occasionally contain few bright pas
sages, lighting up the pages of grim tragedy. The
first record is that of the short and spicy CORE
spondence which passed between Brian Borohma
(Boru), the Ardrigh, High King, of all Ireland,
and his refractory vassal, the King of Leinster.
Hf Knit Bi in fu M4ote PAY me my tribute if YOU
don't"
The King of Leinster answered, Il owe you no
tribute, and if did"
The Irish. Not the Scotch
THE cleverness of the Irish has been proverbial
i throughout their history. The Roman writer who
referred to the 'Perervidnm ingeninm Scotornm"
meant the brilliance of the Irish and not as Oliver
Wendell Holmes supposed, of the Scots. The Irish
the Scott of classic times.
Nobody at any period ever said of the Irish, as
the early French writer did of the English, that
"they take their pleasures sadly" There is an old
story-so old that it may have been founded fact
illustrating the proverbal happiness of the Irish
people. Samuel Lover made farce out of it. Sir
Walter Scott put it into verse Both called it The
Happy Man." 1t about a certain Sultan of
Serendb in the Far East, who was troubled with
chronic insomnia, and was told by wise man that
he could be cured in only one way namely, by sleep
ing in the shirt of happy man. The Sultan forth
to let but, strange to say he could not find
his whole dominion. Thereupon he went abroad
to look for He sailed to the east the west the
north, and south but all in vain until at last he
came to the shores of Ireland the edge of the
Atlantic; and To- the very first man that he
landing was not only happy but willing and ready
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-17

accused of a similar offense some months after
ward he retained OConnel again, and was again
acquitted. year more, and the unfortunate
man tried for piracy, and O'Connell for a
third time got him free. When he heard the
verdict of mot guilty" he leaned from the dock
toward his counsel and, raising his eyes and hands
pious gratitude, said fervently oh Mr. O'Connell,
may the Lord spare you ong-to mel"
Charles Manners, the Duke of Portland, enjoyed
his life in Ireland time when drank long
they could sit at the table. He himself was fond
of glass, and fonder of several of them Once
when he had been enjoying the comparative degree
of that fondness he took it into his head to confer
the honor of knighthood on the innkeeper who had
furnished the liquor. The Duke had that preroga-
tive; SO, in spite of all that his boon com panions
could do to prevent him, he babe the man kneel
down, drew his sword, and soemnly said Rise,
Sir Patrick Shaughnessy!"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-17
I r I S II II u M {

to admit that he was happy.
Then the Sultan signified his
desire to get possession of that
mans Utmost garment.
But the happy man, being
happy, declined to consider the
proposition on any terms.
Whereupon ensued what did
not in theleast diminish the gen.
t1eman's cheerfulness, a fight.
1t was a good fight while it
lasted, but the power of num-
bers triumphed, and the victors
proceeded benevolently to as
simulate the spoil. But alas for
the Sultan and the theory of
mental healing! When they
stripped the beaten but still un-
daunted Irishman, they found
that he did not have a shirt to
his back. And in the words of
the poet
The heartbroken Sultan, in sorrow
and shame,
Went back to Serendib as sad as
he came.
Irish wit and hurnor found
their best exemplars among
the great writer's, orators, and
poets, many of whom are
calmly classified among Eng
1ish Men of Genius" such as
sheridan, Steele, Sterne, and a
igh Hunt, no mean judge, said
For the qualities of sheer wit
had no superior, ancient or
5 he: was, however; Swift lived
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-17

a MEXICAN humor differs from that of every
~ other nation, and it's ingredients defy
- analysis; but think that it owes great
4 - deal to the liberal infusion of Irish blood
during the last century. or more. At
The Cairo bulletin., 1907-01-25
DREDGING PLANT
CAN GET TO WORK
ON SHORT NoTlCE-NOW WAIT.
ING FOR FLOOD TO GO DOWN
WHEN PUMPING WILL BE
STARTED.

The Cairo Contracting and Dredg-
ing Company is prepared TO begin
work on very few days notice, when
yer the conditions shall warrant T..
Their boat, the Voolfolk, is lying
above Tenth street on the Ohio side
of the city fully equipped for he
work she is intended 10 perform and
she viii be lowed around to her place
on the Mississippi side as soon as the
river shall have receded sufficiently
The water is now out Of It's natural
banks, as is known, and it would not
be safe to anchor the boat there nor
could she do any good there at pres
ent, as 1t is not likely that any pump
ing will be done until the food shall
have gone down. The piping inside
the levee has been laid through the
Big Four embankmen' and through
the Mississippi leyee and il will only
be necessary to lay the piping outside
the leyee TO the river bank and con
meet up with the pcntoon piping in
order TO begin work This can he
done in the course Of a day or two
The Cairo bulletin., 1907-01-25

The Ohio, az Evansville, will come
10 a stand within the next ~ to a
hours at abou 4G3 or AGA feet. then
fall. AT Mt Vernon, viii continue
rising during the next "A hours come
to stand a about 49, feet then
fall The rise will continue at Padu.
an and Cairo until next Saturday
night or Sunday AS 10 $50 feet is
indicated for Paducah and 495 to
500 feet at Cairo
The Tenne see from Florence to
the mouth. no material change,
The Mississippi at Chester will
fan tonight and Friday At Cape Cir.
ardeau will continue rising during
The mex, "a to Sc hours. and reach
maximum stage Of about POI or 29.2
feet
The Wabash at Mt Carmel. viii
probably continue rising during TIE
next two or three DAYS and reach
maximum stage slightly above "a
feet
p. H. SMYTH
Local Forecaster.
The Cairo bulletin., 1907-01-25
MAYOR PARSONS
IS A CANDIDATE
FORMAL ANNOUNCEMENT MADE
THAT He DESIRES TO BE
cAiRC's CHIEF EXECUTIVE
ANOTHER TWO YEARS.

For some days past The report has
been current thai His Honor Mayor
Parsons had been stirred up by re-
ports that he would not be a candi-
date for reelection next April and a
promise was made that he would is.
sue a statement on the subject indi'
eating his position Yesterday the
following card was given 70 the press
Of the city
ITO the Public In view of the in
timation in an editorial in one Of the
daily papers of recent date, that l
would not be a candidate to succeed
myself as mayor, | take this oppor-
tunlty to say that the people Of Cairo
have so generally expressed their APP
probation of the large amount of
work already completed and larger
amounts being prepared for construc-
ion and the Improvement Of the city
generally. during the present admins
tratiou--expressi with unqualified
earnestness their desire for me to
continue in office-that am positive,
ly. without reservation, before the
people as a candidate for mayor and
solicit the undivided support of all
business interests and the public gen
orally
Very respectfully, your obedient
servant. GEORGE PARSONS.
Cairo. H.. Jan. q 1907"
The Cairo bulletin., 1907-01-25
ON THE RIVERS
Conditions Generally Satisfactory ~
This Section--Work BY Rail.
roads to Keep Lines Open
into Cairo.

The situation on the river here I'M
dcrwent little damage yesterday A
rise of IL feet during me "a honrs
ending last evening, brought the river
up 10 49.2 feet and prospects seem
ed 10 favor a 81 foot stage here. Tn"
crest of the flood was expected TO
reach Evansville last evening and
that point ought to report a falling
river today
Conditions in and around aCiro are
very satisfactory Some hard work
is being done Birds Point Mo, to
save the railroad embellishments and
some work has been done on the Big
Four above Cairo.
The railroads on the Kentucky
side are said to be in good shape and
not likely to be interrupted by the
present food.
The Cairo bulletin., 1907-01-25

$4,000 yards removed during the pre-
yious year
Altogether. the surface in the Guile
bra cut has been brought down IS
feet allow the level left by the
French. A large amount OF the eXca-
waited material has been used in filing
for railroad yards and double track
ing OF the Panama railroad We have
q force of y steam shoyeis available
fer work Mos, OF them are aJ work
I'm the canal prism. mainly in the
great cut Others win be added as
fast as the additional railway tracks
and dumping grounds necessary for
The the handling OF an increased
amount If excavated material are pro
yided unit the number actively en-
gagged reaches the limit Of ability 90
employ them to practical advantage
Create Human Machine.
N harmony with what seemed 10
- popular demand. and iu accord
nee also with cur own convict ions on
TIE subject we decided several
months ago 10 invite bids for con-
u.etlng the construction Of the canal
lv contract
That. gentlemen IS the record Of
hings done. We have created =
state We have created a great hu-
nan machine TO carry on the WORK
We have made the Isthmus a healthy
place in which 20 work. We have
built quarters for the workers. We
nave built BD a railway syst m ade
luafe for he needs Of canal conetuc-
ion. We have accumulated the
plant with which TO do the work. We
have completed me engineering PLANS
upon which the work is to proceed
With the broad policies Of which J
have spoken carried into operation.
he creativ period has come 10 an
nd ard fHe period Of active con
sf-uciion has begun.
After personal inspection II The
fall President Roosev If said I'm his
message THE wisdom OF the canal
management has been shown In moth
ing mere clearly than in the wav in
which -ne foundations have been
iltd
The Cairo bulletin., 1907-01-25

The Stacker Lee was in port yes
erday morning, from Memphis
bound for s.. L5uis. She had fins
rip making nearly all landings on
her way up although meeting with
lihiculty at some OF them.
The Dick Fowler made nearly all
landings between here and Paducah
yesterday,
The L. s. snag boat II G Wright
came mp from Natchez yesterday and
will leave this morning for ST. Louis.
One year ago yesterday the river
parked 32S feet on the Cairo guage.
The Georgia Lee will be in port to-
day from Memphis and will turn back
from here
The Cairo bulletin., 1907-01-25

holders has been declared by the
Metropolitan Life Insurance COMPANY
for the year 1907 This company.
which has always been noted for tn,
liberal policy on which it is managed.
has already distributed in dividends
to its policy holders about $40. 900 GOA
in the last eight years and the new
dividend of $4,000 900 will bring is
voluntary disbursements to polio,
holders mp to the immense sum Of
$4,000 600
On all Industrial Whole Life POI.
cics dated prior to January /, 1903.
dividend equivalent to four W Elk
premiums. or about per cent. of tl.n
premiums for the year. has been 60.
ciared This dividend will amount
70 $1,000 900, and in the dis rbutiol
Of profits viii be includ all holde
OF life policies in those compani
which have been consoi dated with
the Metropolitan.
A further mortuary dividend of an
other million has been declared in T. q
Industrial d department. This aDpH
TO all death claims incurred duriu
the year ending December 81 1876.
where the policy has been in for
Dover five years In the cas- of dea
claims. the dividend has been apo
& oned according 10 the age Of tn
Dolicv If the policy hiss been t,
force FIVE year. n beneficiary WI
be entitled TO dividend Of u
cent. where 81 has been IN force .
years. The dividend is 10 mr. Ger
~ d SO on 10 - wears. whom tae divf--
denu viii equal % per cent Of tir
claim
Other benefit which tn officers
af he eompaHy have br rght about
for the polcv hoidas pre- the in
crease In waive Of all TulsS''a' mol.
'cies sly months fro~1 thnir d7'a apl
no libeltv which IS giv'r 20 - ualiev
holders over 50 vr7r- " ar. rho have
raid nremiu-7s for y -~a-- ~ -ro-7
tn receive the f7co vni-o z 80 mol
icv I'm ~ p ~ fr1 -aiF -,- nolfo-. ~
fnsnc'al circles fhis cotton NJ -
'fotr0noii er e feaf-o7 --o- 7- -,4r,.-
ir~ a Nv 81 in Hro 'r----.-~a he
tory. and the voluntary couvo-ei~- -
.hc cn--1-nv ~ u-h0'n 1ifn Doffrfa-
mo r~d w71r~'s ~ fiilv rafr--7 r.
---a-eo is sail 10 10 tho mos libo-71
ever made by any indus
trial insurance company.
The Cairo bulletin., 1907-01-25
MANSFIELD IS ON
ANOTHERRAMPA AGE
STAR TELLS LEAD.
ING WOMAN AND STAGE CAR
PENTER THEY'RE TOO ILL TO
WORK-OBJECTs TO PRAISE

Cleveland. Ohio. Jan. 2i.-Because
he could not discipline every news
paper in the city, Richard Mansfield
today did he Mans6eldian thing. IL
IS said he informed Mis- Emma Dunn
his leading woman, and J. G. Stern
bis stage carpenter thar they were
TOO III 10 work for him in the future.
The critics who saw Peer Gynt"
Monday night commended with one
or TWO words ne work of Miss Dunn
las "Ase. and Stern was given credit
for the staging Of a difficult produc-
lion
Mr.. Mansfield took ofense at seeing
any but his own name in the crit.
ri ms. Today n even went so fer
as 10 order ina the members Of his
company should destroy all pictures
Of themselves they had with them.
Miss Clara Osmond is playing
~Ase Stage carpenters are exhibit
ing noticeable hesitancy in applying
for the position left vacant by Stems
Hines
Miss Dunn speaking Of her dismiss
al. said when told she had played her
part well.
That is what everybody has "a ID
in all parts Of the country. think
that was why I was dismissed"
All who have sen Miss Damn IN
the part Of "Ase." declare she IS an
&C ress Of ability.
The Cairo bulletin., 1907-01-25
BOY PREACHER
Gave Strong Sermon at Calvary Bap
fist Church-Meetine This
Afternoon.

Another very successful meeting
was held last night at the Calvary
Baptist church Leslie Sanders. the
boy preacher gave a strong eXhorta-
ton from the text in Exodus, When
I See the Blood Win Pass Over
You"
There were three batlsms and two
conversions.
Mr. Sanders requested that all
Christians pray this morning at 9
O'Clock wherever they NAV be. for the
success OF these meetings
A special meeting VIII be held this
al ernoon at , O'Clock. Special music
will be feature Of the meeting to
night.
Sunday afternoon a men's meeting
viii be held