davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-08-28
e The - s
Scrap Book
lot bal &c ArmN Aftar an.

Not In the Army After All.
A Methodist negro exhorter shouted,
"come up en- line de army OF de
Lohdy'
rs done jined," replied one Of The
congregation
Wizard yoh 1Ine?' asked the ex-
horter
I'm de Baptis' chu'ch."
Why, chile, yoh amt In the army,
Yohs in de navy
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-08-28


MY rubber" said Nat Goodwin, de-
scrlbins a Turkish bath that he once
lad Ia Mexico, was very strong
man He laid me on a slab and knead-
ed me and punched me and banged me
in most emphatic way When 1t was
over and ! had got up, he came up
behind me before my sheet was ad-
justed and gave me three resounding
slaps on the bare back with the palm
of his enormous hand.
What in hlazes are you doing? /
gasped. staggering.
NO offense, sir said the man. Tt
was only to let the Office know that !
was ready for the next bather You
see, sir, the bells out Of order ia this
room - Everybody's.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-08-28

That S250,0O0 mail robbery on a west
ern railway reported last week has dwin-
died to $3.50 This is something like the
fortunes of rich men which are millions
before death, but dwindle to thousands
after.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-08-28
The Reporter-s Version.

When Hellcon hall, Upton sinelair's
Utopian colony, burned down, among
those injured was Mrs. Grace Mac
Gowan Cooke, the well known author.
a youthful reporter on one OF the big
New York dailIes, eager to get his
story in the first edition. wrote hur-
riedly that Grace MacGowan, the
cook, suffered from serious burns
Which reminds Llppincott's Of a
typographical error In one OF Ella
Wheeler Wilcox's poems The author
had written a sonnet containing this
line:
Ny soul Is lighthouse keeper.
To her amazement the verse read IN
print
Ny soul IL light housekoeper
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-08-28

Mr.. Rockefeller is having trouble in
collecting his witness and travelling fees
for his appearance before Judge lands.
He forgot to say where he started from
when he went to Chicago
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-08-28
Trying to Forget.

beg pardon, sir" said the waiter,
with outstreched palm, "but aven't you
forgotten somethink?"
NO" replied the departing guest, but
I'm trying to forget it. Good dayl"--
Catholic Standard
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-08-28
The Useful wife.

"Does Jones think he's any better Of
since be got married.
Yes. lie says he has someone to
thread needle now when he wants to
sew on a button. Judge
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-08-28
Why He We, sad.

ooh. my friends, exclaimed the ora
tor, '1t makes me sad when I think OF
the days that are gone, when look
around and miss the old familiar faces
/ used to shake hands With"
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-08-28
1850

After reading Prince Wilhelm's itiney
about Boston, one cannot help observing
that the Swedish prince Is going some
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-08-28
Ghnlalned.

maud Muller On a summers day
Raked tho meadow sweet with hay"
Her rsking stunt was just stall.
She had date out there, that's ALL
bohemian
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-08-28
a Matter Of Gender.

Il fear coekroach too much upon
your time, madam" politely remarked
the Frenchman to his English hostess
"Hen-croach, monsieur" she smiling
~ corrected him.
He threw up bis hands in despair
"Ah, your English gendersg
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-08-28
what He Knows.

A young man Just out Of college
knows a good deal, except about how
to earn living. somerville Journal.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-08-28

The jury found he'd raised a note.
"Ah, WE'LL he said, ITS funny
That / get twenty years Of timc
Eor such q little money"
philadelphia Ledger.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-08-28

"Pa," said little Bobby. what kind
OF dogs live up on The dog starr"
"skyes. my SON. replied ~ without
looking up.-Detroit Tribune.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-08-28
Johnny Knew

Teacher-Johnuy, can you explain the
difference between like and lover
johnny Yes, manm. like bread
and butter, but love tarts.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-08-28

The only fox hunting have ever
done was on board an impctuous, tough
noukhsd. fare and ait horse that had
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-08-28

whats IN a name9 always snoered
TIL father donnad his specs
And settled fifty Urgent bills
BY signing fifty eheeks
Pick Afe-IJp.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-08-28

IT'S 5ecTbks
you ought not to work such long
hours. Surely your boss can get along
without you part Of the time"
"Sure he can, but / don't want him
to find ii OUT
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-08-28
FIRE INSURANCE

The Etns Fire Insurance Com-
pany Of Hartford, Conn, is repre-
sented in this Agency.
The "Etnar is all we need to say.
It's liberal dealings with its policy
holders dnring its whole history is all
the advertisement II needs.
During lightweight years it has
paid in losses to its poiicy-holders
over One Hundred Eight Millions Of
Dollars.
6. HERBERT PAPE,
Resident Agent,
TEL 40-4 Office ii Granite Savings Nank Blk
The Alaska prospector., 1907-03-28

MEN WANTED-To cut cordwOod. Apply to proprietor of Hotel Seat tie.
 Britt-Nelson fight pictures at the Horseshoe.
 If you are looking for the BEST OF MEATS come to the VALDEZ MARKET. We handle only the choicest of STEER BEEF, MUTTON PORK, VEAL, Milk Fed Spring Chicks and Eastern Oysters. We assure you that the Prices, Qvality and-Service.is the best VALDEZ MARKET PHONE 29
 For Sale.
 Furniture and housef old goods. Apply forenoon next door to school
 J. G. McCRACKEN.
 Hands restaurant and bakery changed hands yesterday, the firm of Curley & Craine, who have been running a lunch room in the Ho'se- shoe building, being the purchasers. They will take possession of the restaurant Saturday. MT. Hand expects to go to the States on the Saratoga, where he will remain for about six weeks.
 For Sale-Horses, Sleds and Harness, Cheap. Inquire Geo P. Meals. If Don't miss the Moving Pictures at the Montana tonight.
 Waterman's Ideal Fountain Pens-large assortment to choose from. Owl Drug Co.,, Dependable Druggists.
The Alaska prospector., 1907-03-28

Melvin Dempsey, Plaintiff J. c. Snyder and D. c. Brown. ell as Trustees of the Endeav- or Congregational Church of Notice of Sale Valdez, The Endeavor Congre- of Real prop. gatonal Church ot Valdez, a erty on excu- corporation, and the Endeavor ton. Congregations Church of Val dez, an unincorporated Asso clatlon ot persons Defendants By virtue of an execution issued out of the above court, dated the 18th day of March 1907. in the above entitled action, wherein the Plaintiff recovered judgment against the De- tendant the Endeavor Congregational Church lion of persons, for the sum of Two Thousand e2,oOO) Dollars and costs of suit taxed aud al. allowed di9 at seventyeight t$7s) Dollars, which Fist day of December. 1904, I have levied upon the ollowng described real property situated Tn valdez, Alaska, to wit:
 Lots Nos. six (6) and seven (7l in Block eight (o) of the town of Valdez, Alaska, as the same appears on the official plat of said town except rear of said lots described as follows to wit: T, Com msncing at the corner of lot six (6) on Broadway and the alley in rear of said lots; thence ninety (sO) feet along said alley; thence st. right angles with said alley thru said lot said alley ninety (90) feetto Broadway; thence along said Broadway to alley thirty (3o) feet to the place of Beginning.
 tWenty-nlnth (29 day of April, 1907, at two (2) o'clock th & r. m of said day at the front door of the 1, court House at Valdez, Alaska, will sell all the right, title and interest which the said Bndenyor Congregational Church of Valdez has had in said real property, Buildings and appurtcnances at any time since Decem brr 2lSt 1904, at piblic auction for cash, to the highest bidder to satisfy said judgment and execution and all accruing costs
 Dated at Valdez, Alaska, this 18th day of March 1907,
 GEO. G. PERRY
 U. s. Marshal for Division No
 Three, Territory of Alaska.
 By J. NJ LAfHRoP ,,. , Deputy. Atty. for Plaintiff.
The Alaska prospector., 1907-03-28

Muskogee, March 27 - Federal authorities last night raided a ne- gro club in this city, and in the ensuing fight fifty shots were fired. Three negroes were killed and sev- eral more were wounded.
The Alaska prospector., 1907-03-28

IN THE DISTRICT COURT FOR THE TERRI.
 TORY OF ALASKA, THIRD DIVISION.
The Alaska prospector., 1907-03-28

Chicago, March 2S-Voliva, the leader of Zion. had stroke of par alysis this morning. His condition Is critical.
The Alaska prospector., 1907-03-28

The compressioh of air without the aid of moving machinery or re- quiring skilled attendance, but simply by employing the agency of a waterfall 343 feet in height, is is the remarkable feat performed by the engineers of the Victoria mine at Rockland, Michigan. It is described in the March issue of Mines and Minerals.
 Dance at Moose IIAll Saturday night.
 Miss Mary Csland will have a spring millinery opening Saturday at her new sto, in the Swan block in the rooms formerly occupied by the Delicatassen.
 Latest styles in Easter Ties, just arrived at the Ladies' Bazaar.
The Alaska prospector., 1907-03-28

Notice of Sale of Real prop. erty on eXcu- ton.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1907-09-05
A New Phase Of Biology.

A widow recently came from Albany
to live with relatives in Brooklyn. Her
new neighbors discovered that she was
given to romancing about small mat
ters. On her own behalf she claimed
to take the poetic view" of life. But
one of her neighbors was inclined to
use Shorter and more ugly word"
in describing the trait. Among other
things the woman from Albany statc.l
that her iate husband was a biologist
in the states service. presumably at
Albany. Later on it was learned that
he really had been in the states sery-
ice. doing time at Sing Sing for small
forgery.
a professors wife came to the res
cue. Biologist is the poetic term. all
right she said. "AIy husband tells
me biologist is a student Of cell
life. Brooklyn Eagle.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1907-09-05

!" OGGLES came aboard at Hall
fax-a stranded, battered dere-
lict Of the sea-anxious to sail
to the north coast. He was
suffering from plethora of hard luck.
but to Mr.. Pierce he had the appear
ance of one recovering from a period
of dissipation. Annette saw only the
picturesque side of Boggles. aad he
was tentatively engaged on the spot.
Il know the Newfoundland coast
better'n l know the chart of me own
face" confessed the pilot in soft.
pleading voice. Seeing that was
born in Straddle Rock Cove an lived
there until was old enough to run
away, ought to-
Annette was romantic, and she an
ticipated his thoughts.
"And you want to visit your old
home again?" she asked sympathet-
ically.
Eyes, ma'am, I'm dying to do that;
been trying to get back in the oil
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1907-09-05
He Couldn't PIow.

A certain incident connected with
the great Napoleon while he was in ex-
lie i'll Elba is commenorated in the is
land to this hour by an inscription at
fixed to the wall of a peasants house.
\ man named Giaconi was blowing
when the famous exile came along one
day and expressed an interest in his
work. Napoleon even took the plow-
share out of the mans hand and at-
tempted to guide it himself. But the
oxen refused to obey him. overturned
the plow and spoiled the furrow.
The inscription runs thus: Napoleon
the Great, passing by this place in
MDCCCNIV, took in the neighboring
field plowshare from the hands Of a
peasant and himself tried to plow, but
the oxen, rebellious to those hands
which yet had guided Europe, headlong
fed from the furrow."
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1907-09-05
&mokino In Church.

The old time citizens smoked even in
church. All such offender; were cx-
communicated by Urban VIII. In 1924
and again by Innocent MI. in 1900.
There was William Breedon. too. VIC
ar OF Thornton, England. of whom the
astrologcr Lilly says that when he
had no tobacco he would cut the hell
ropes and smoke them''
Prohibitions Of the customs were fire.
1uent. Item, you shall not utter" Ell
joins an alehouse license of the time
Of James l., NOR willingly suffer to be
ntter'd, drunke or taken. ans tobacco
within your house. cellar or other place
thereunto belonging
Charles III. sent Il letter to the Uni
versity Of Cambridge forbiddiny the
members to wear periwigs, smoke to-
bacco or read their sermons. \ writer
has recorded : visit to an Essex
church about 1890 on which he saw
pipes slowed ready for use on the fol
lowing Sunday.-Chicago News.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1907-09-05
Greenland Whales.

The great Greenland whale has no
teeth, its baleen plates, or whalebone
taking their place. Along the center Of
the palate runs strong ridge, and on
each side of this there is a wide de-
preston along which the plates are in-
serted. These are long and fiat, hang
ing free. and are placed across the
mouth with their sides parallel and
near eac. other. The base and outer
edge Of the plates are of solid whale
bone, but the inner edges are fringed,
filing up the interior of the mouth and
acting as strainer for the food, which
consists of the small swimming mol
lusks and medusae or jellyfish.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1907-09-05
A Good Reason.

Manders Is very severe on his little
son. He says that the boy has got to
grow up sensible member of society,
and he (Manders) will see that he does.
He had just spoken very sharply to
the boy for asking questions without
thinking what he was asking, and
Tommy was sitting in the corner with
his eyes fixed OH the ceiling.
do you think you will get prize
for good conduct at school, Tommy"
asked mamma, anxious to create di-
version.
II don't think so, ma,' responded
Tommy timidly.
"How's thatY" asked Manders stern
II before mamma could interfere
Haven't you been behaving yourself?
Why won't you get prize for good
conduct? Answer me at once"
Cos they don't give any, father"
answered the boy.
Father was caught himself, and when
he saw his wife smile he went out and
slammed the door after him.-Pearson'
Weekly.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1907-09-05
Trials Of the Unemployed.

Once there was young Boetian who
had money. One day he looked at his
clothes, Of which he had great many,
and he saw that they needed to he
brushed and folded, so he told his serv-
ant to do It for him. Then he went
downstairs and noticed that all his
manuscripts were in disorder, SO he
hired man to sort them out and to
make list of them. Next he went to
the stable and found one Of his horses
sick, 50 he asked a man to get him an
other one. The other horse needed cx-
ercise, so he engaged groom to ex-
ercise the horse.
He looked Mt puppy which ne had
and said. "Why. it's time that puppy
was trained to find birils.' SO he sent
the puppy away to man to be taught.
Then he went into the house and
yawned. Dear me- said he, "how
dull 1t is with nothing to do! wish I
had something to do"
The Boetians were barbarians.-
Puck.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1907-09-05


home port for well nigh twenty years,
but what with hard luck an other
things I've always missed it. Once at
st. Johns, says to myself, now I'll
see Straddle Rock ag'in before l die.
l was SO sartin of it that had to
break leg celebrating the event. OF
course no one wanted a sailor with n
game leg, an had to stay in port un-
til the season was too far advanced to
go north. Then l shipped to the States
ag'in to keep from starving"
Boggles linped a trifle yet from his
broken leg, and one eye seemed to
squint with diabolic cunning when you
looked him square in the face, but An
nette saw none of the ugly sides of
the subjects she liked, and Boggles
charmed her.
Mr.. Pierce grumbled at the bargain.
but finally submitted. Pilots familiar
with the north coast were scarce in
Halifax, and the season was late any
way "Well, it's for Annette's sake
I'm up here" he confessed, "and sup
pose shouldn't object il Annette ap-
proves"
HE looks honest, but bit hardened
on the surface by too much contact
with the world.' ventured DR.. Lang
don, with a smile II think his story
of being born and nurtured in Straddle
Rock Cove is myth. however.
doubt if there is such place"
I'VE must visit Straddle Rock Cove.
said Annette positively one day.
'AIr. Boggles"-she always dignified
the old pilot with ,Mr.-''can guide us
there It's an immensely dangerous
harbor. and no one can enter it in a
storm except Mr.. Boggles."
.sBoggles may be all right" drawled
the doctor, ''but draw the line at go
ing into Straddle Rock Cove with hin,
in a Storm
Annette ignored the interruption. Mr..
Pierce was bored with the whole trip.
and he was willing to yield anything
for peace.
'.You will visit the cove, papa, where
Boggles was born:' Annette continued
You win make him happy again. He's
been dreaming Of this trip for twenty
years.
''If you will be satisfied to return
home then we may run in the harbor.
craftily replied Mr.. Pierce, anxious to
shorten the trip by striking any sort
of a bargain.
Yes" reluctantly, "after we stay
there few days.
Straddle Rock grew daily in impor.
tance thereafter. It was the first def
mite point of entry for the yacht. Cap
tain Reed looked the place up on the
charts. There was group of small
rocks OFF a dangerous point Of the
coast. locally known by the fishermen
as Straddle rocks. They were marked
Dangerous" and .sNo Safe Harbor For
Ships or Yachts" He carried his in
formation to the owner and grumbled
with mutinois intent.
4Oh. it doesn't matter in the least
captain" retorted Mr.. Pierce. annoyed
by the new interference Annette is
persistent, and you must oblige her
Really, it's none of my affair."
But. sir. this man Boggles may
wreck u.s.
Mr.. Pierce waved his hand entreat-
hgly Talk to Annette" he mur-
INJURED.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1907-09-05


shot through channel so narrow that
her sides scraped the outer edges of the
strange formation of granite The cur
rent swept the craft forward with ac
celerated speed.
Then the sea lost its turbulence and
the wind its power for evil. Protected
on all sides by abutments of rocks. the
sheltered cove was like mill ponl
compared to the raging sea.
"We'll anchor here, captain Boggles
was saying. .'The tide is not so swift
inside the rocks, an the bottom is
sandy. I'll take rest now. I'm tired.
an It's getting dark, very dark. l
never knew the cove to be SO dark be-
fore. can hardly see the rocks
think-Im falling"
1t was Annette's arm he clutched,
and Annette and the doctor led him &c.
low to his room.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1907-09-05
HeArtless.

$50 you wouldn't take me to be twen-
ty-sixy giggled the fair widow.
'.No, indeed rejoined the inconsid-
crate old bachelor. "But il you had n
daughter | might take her to be that
Old.o
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1907-09-05
A Crowd Is Not Com o any,

But little do men perceive what soli-
tGde is and how far it extentet,l. for Il
crowd is not company, and faces are
but gallery Of pictures, and talk but
tinkling cymbal where there is no
love.-Bacon's Essay on Friendship"
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1907-09-05
WHY They Left

Hello. George! What's everybody
crowding out Of the drawing room for?
Have refreshments been announced?' r
George-No. But Aunt Matilda Is get
ting ready to sing.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1907-09-05
Louisiana State University
Baton Rouge, La.
THOS. D. BOYD, A. NJ, IL. D., President

improvements
during the last in
of Louisiana of
Excellent
mechanic
and education Large library and well supplied reading Fully
laboratories and workshops buildings
grounds Forty instructors and $40 students last
pnse SIG session OF nine months Session Sept 49, 1907
FOR ui information or catalogue address
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1907-09-05
How to Become an Artist.

Holman Hunt began his art labors
when at the age of four he cut Off
lock of his own hair to make a paint
brush. 1t is rather a serious matter
for the young artist rightly to choose
some picturesque and as far as possl-
bic inadequate means Of beginning his
career. We all know the story of Ben
jamin West and the cats tail Aliston,
being colorist. is supposed to have
squeezed the luscious hues from flow
ers to make his paints. As there are
probably many young artists contem-
plating career, why not suggest
few new ways Of beginning?
Make brush from peppers shaving
brush, from mummer's hairbrush, from
uncle's chin whiskers, from auntie's
false front
No doubt the reason there are few
great artists nowadays is that it is 80
hard to avoid ready made paint brushes.
They are thrust upon children in the
public schools. How can we hope for
a Benjamin West with brushes drug
on the et?-Philip L. Hale in Bos-
ton Herald.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1907-09-05

Envy is an awkward homage that
inferiority pays to merit La Motto
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1907-09-05
Louisiana Railway and
Navigation Company x

Daily Passenger Trains
with
Pullman Parlor Cars
between
Shreveport
and
New Orleans
giving
Exceptional Service
to and from
Bossier Parish.
Fast Freight Service
to
BOssier Parish.
Route your freight
via the
l.. Il. and n.
C.. ELLERBE. H. b. HELM,
Assistant to President Gen1 Superintendent,
Shreveport, La. Shreveport, La.
e. C. D. MARSHALL,
Geni Freight and Passenger Agent,
SHREVEPORT, LA.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1907-09-05
A Dog Detective.

In 1929 peasant was found MUIR
dered In wood in the department of
the Loire, France, with his dog sitting
near the body. No clew could at first
be gained as to the perpetrators of the
crime, and the victims widow contin-
ued to live in the same cottage. ac-
companied always by the faithful dog.
In February, 1887, two men, appar-
emily travellers, stopped at the house.
requesting shelter from the storm.
which was then granted, but no SOON
er had the dog seen them than he
!. flew at them with great fury and
would not be pacified. As they were
quitting the house one of thcm said
to the other. THAT rascally dog has
not forgotten u.s." This raised the
suspicion Of the widow, who over
heard it, and she applied to the gem
darmes in the neighborhool, who fol-
lowed and arrested the men. After a
long examination one of the criminals
confessed.-Ralph Neville in Outing
Magazine.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1907-09-05
Through
Straddle Rock
Cove
By GEORGE z. WALSH
Copyright, 1905, by George Z. Walsh
By GEORGE E. WALSH

Copyright, 1905. by George E. Walsh
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1907-09-05

Water Closets and
kltchen Sinks.