Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1907-04-25

We tuo uOnoA oNAp S~~t1 - -
across lots to view the procession. and
enjoy its eject upon our family. which
was tremendous, and when the room
| had been successfully invaded, We
thus addressed Frau Kurtz:
Frau Kurtz, recognizing your SUI
perb command Of the Polish language
and your equally remarkable knowb
edge Of English. we are Of the opinion
that you are the one person within the
Jurisdiction Of this honorable court
who can safely bridge over q bottom
| less legal abyss. in which our profound
knowledge OF Greek, Latin and San
skirt, so to speak, cuts no ice."
The Respondent LoQuiter: "Pchinsz-
ski ujsh szlroff r-r-r wolscowski."
The Court: "Sit downski and shut
upski!"
The Court to Frau Kurtz: Nov.
Mrs. Kurtz, II you viii find out what
these fellows have been fighting about.
and who struck the first lick, and
which licked, and who was to blame
and several things that ! should like
to know, you Will be doing a great
favor to the community"
Mrs. Kurtz: "Aber, Herr Landvogt,
l amt tink satisfaction give can"
The Court: "Oh, yes, you are Just
the one to do 1t. Anyway, you go
ahead and try the case and ] will do
Just as you decide. OF course there
are limits. can't hang them or Inn
prison them for life, although hanging
is really too good for any one who
speaks such a language, but anything
reasonable l will do, such as six
months in jail. or SO and costs, or
some such trifie as that"
Frau Kurtz, with the light Of high
purpose in her eyes, addressed COM
plainant: "Hoopski Biarrd apidoff
bysaski?"
Complainant, respondent and wit.
nesses in disjointed chorus: "Kachew-
ski, psnar-r-r-sld tsqzrski."
The court thunderously: "Keepsh
quiettoff, shutupski, onesli at time
on" After short pause Frau Kurts
resumes her examination of the plain
tiff somewhat as follows:
Frau Kurtz: "Hoopski doodlescohI
beksQskiet," for ten minutes.
The Complainant: "Rzszbzkzcsh-
brsnkaffskiet," ETC., for ten minutes
more, with frequent Interruptions and
choral Accomplishments by the re-
spondent and witnesses and stern
commands for "silenceshi" by the
court.
The Court: well, Frau Kurtz, what
has he said about itr
Frau Kurtz: "Wohl, Herr Landvogt,
dose boy dey vas togedder room, und
goot, und dis boy Mike he has heem
knock down tree time and heem look
pretty bad"
The Court: bad for Mike. Now
what does Mike say?"
Frau Kurtz, addressing Mike: Pip.
ski sqzskoff kacheuski schnappskoff."
Mike, the respondent: "BdamskIj
sczrskikuskioffski," ad libitum for 10
minutes, with appropriate gestures.
Subdued giggIes from the pantry,
from which the house girls peered and
shook.
The Court: "Well. Frau Kurtz, what
is Mikes view of the matterf"
Frau Kurtz: well, Herr Landvogt,
dis Mike he say dat de oder Teller
very dronk gewesen hat, und dis Mike
he hat NIT him asgangen. De oder ne
60 for holler and schrecklish swear
and dam, und dis Mike he say you will
arrested get, und into de lookup put,
und du must helm gehen und dahin
bleiben, und dat oder Teller he say he
want de pollissman leek, and he desire
somebodee to fight, und dis Mike he
say If dat is what you van will init
you fight, and den Mike has heem
geschlagen und heem down knocked,
und den dat oder Teller joomp COP und
say he some more fight want, und den
dis Mike hat knock -heem down noder
time, und den dat oder Teller he pooty
goot oop joomp, aber ser langsam,
Wtolszkowsld he vas got brook pretty
und say he some more fight want, und
den dis Mike hat heem geschlagen und
den dat oder Teller vas not again oop
joomp. Den dis Mike he dis oder fel-
Ter COP took, und say: YIN you NIT
mir helm gehen? und de oder Teller
say: ia wohl,' und dis Mike heem for
20 home very kind helped, und he his
head washed und heem into bed put
und all his money took, and It into his
trunk locked 80 dis oder Teller he
NIGHT get drunk anoder time Will. und
dat vas pretty goot ding"
The Court: well, Frau Kurtz, what
shall sentence him7"
Frau .Kurtz: Sentence him nodings.
II It not for dis Mike de oder Teller
wood In jall perhaps bleiben und
mooch money to pay have: Dis Mike
vas do noding but heem leek TIL he
helm gehen und sci ruhig."
The Court: ~Yes, that may be 50.
but these fellows must understand
that they can't have prize lights on
TIE public streets"
Frau Kurtz: ~Ya. wohl. Herr Land
vogt. aber sic haben mir gesagt dat
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