The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-07-17
DRIFT OOD
ADvERTIsER-SHOTs.
DY PHIL N. ARMSTRONG.

' Be optimistic this hot weather. Suppose you lived in Yuma, where the thermometer reached 102 in the shade recently, and there's no shade there either. r@ In St. Louis 8 lawyer killed an air ship inventor: the two hot air bags must have colltded.
 The President coufesses that thu only thing he doesn't know everything about is millinery, but well bet he knows something about millinery bills. MT. Roosevelt appeared in church at Oyster Bay in a suit of spOtless white. Another compliment to our foremost American humOrist, Mark Twain, but this isn't saying he can initiate Marks literary style.
 People are fast becoming vegeta- of meats still prevails. Aguinaldo. who raised SO much fame and fury, not long ago, has settled down to the more peaceful occupation of farming. Let us hope he will raise something else besides cain" After a careful consideration. from our own observations and that of oth- more pretty girls to its size than any town In the country.
  A dollar year tax on your dog and if he Is an onery cur no dollar-and no purp.
 The best way for an Alabama legis- lator to get even with his creditors, 1t seems. is to introduce more bills of one variety than they can send of the other.
 + A dentist wouldn't think of selling you gold brick. but some of them frnn amounts to the same thing. "Will yoar love for me ever die.' asked the ieioT who sits n., UP nights young woman. tactifuliyi never as long as you keep ices to its head and rocks to its feet"
 He-If I should ask you to marry me. why. would you say? shelf should say yes. what would you do? he is glad to see that there is no race suicide in Oyster Bay. A Milwaukee preacher Is responsible for the statement that the world is as full of agony as 1t can hold, and still Ella Wheeler Wilcox keeps writing. And now while the bosses are taking
  bling brook are swinging in ham, mock the little White Slaves are weav- ing their shrouds in the hot stuffy cot ton mills.
 Any man who criticizes a woman's bathing suit has very little to talk about. .. dog, if our girl would treat us half as well as she does her pet poodle, we'd be happy.
 What's an automobile meet?" My. goodness. you can SC 1t most any day or read of it. collision. or course" x this town Thursday in spite of no passes. You cant keep down those fellows on that kind of a proposition.
 To and Behold. Mother, may I go out to firt?" res. my darling daughter. Just stay on the beach meath your um- And don't go near the water"
 whAt. the Use. What's the use of the fretting and The world keeps on in the same old People succeeding and people falling. People sorrowful; people gay. little while of the love and laughter, A crust of bread heath the roof and
 rafter, And then shuffiing off to the vague
 hereafter;
 Whats the useS
 Des Swingin' 'LOnsA
 Des swingin' along
 Frum day to day,
 Singin' song
 An workin away
 Rich folks grumblin' ~ While dey tolls.
 Nigger works an
 Fumes an broils.
 But he's always happy
 Sings his tune
 By de blaZin sun
 Er de silver moon.
 But white man when he works
 He frowns;
 Works too hard, he
 Goes an drowns.
 Gettin' all de
 Dough he can.
 Den spend hit
 Livin' lak a MAN.
 Flyin' so high
 He hit de stars.
 Apt as not
 Land hind de bars
 Gle hit de groun' So hard hit JARS)
 No gimme ma cabin,
 My crust, my song
 An let me des keep
 EuipDin' sionR