davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-05-26
BY ELLIS PARKER BUTLER.

ought to have give Daniel that book
free and paid him five dollars for TAX
ing it. That's what you ought to have
done, 10 make up for what he lost by
not ever havin got married nor had
any children. But ] don't want to be
hard on you. All I ask is that you
should take that book back and We'll
call it even. We won't ask you TO pay
Daniel no damages. Will We, Daniel?'
Nope" said Daniel, sadly.
after a sale is made" began
EIiph' Hewitt, gently.
You send the order i'm by telegraph,
don't yOU?" said 5. Potts. And the
book is already on the road. amt it?
Well that 'er volume of 'Cyclopedium'
is so cheap at the price that you ought
TO be tickled to death to get a copy
You go around and suffer every day
because sellin' that book at five dollars
is like THROWN it away. and every
time you sell one you suffer an extra
suffer So me and Daniel is goin' to
give you a chance to buy a copy and
feel the joy them that boys a copy
feels. I bet you amt bought copy
of that 'Cyclopedium' for a long time,
and you ought to have one. It'n do you
good And l amt gOin' to- force it on
you, neither, but Daniel here only gifts
paid about One-twenty a week in
wages. and he can't afford to waste
none of it buyin' 'Cyclopediums. I
won't have it. He needs every cent OF
it, and if he's got to spend a dollar a
month for that book until paid I'm
| gOin TO cut off his pay and not give
| him a cent for the next year or two.
If he wants to pay out money for in
formation he can pay it to me. I'm
| his CyclOpedium, and he don't need no
other. Do you, Daniel? No, you
I don't"
Eliph' Hewitt strOked his sandy
! gray side whiskers thOughtfully- It
was defeat, and he realized it. He took
/ large, white silver dollar from his
pocket and put it in Daniels hand 1t
| repaid Daniel for the first payment, the
| 81 down. Then, with bowed head, Ike
I Napoleon after Waterloo, he went out
of the gloom of the livery stable into
| the glare of. the street. Daniel sighed.
s. Potts." he said longingly, 81 wisht
| you had let me keep that book. I sort
of felt like I needed it."
Now hush up" said S. Potts cross
| ly. "Aint you got me? And amt so
| full Of information that it leaks out be-
tween the staves?'
90 course you be. s. Potts" said
Daniel soOthingly. 90 course you be!
| You beat all for that. Don't 1 always
say so? But you amt illustrated. s.
/ Potts You amt got no illustrated
frontispiece, nor no steel engravings,
nor no chromO-iithograph Of the Rus
sian war If you was only as full Of
pictures as YOU are of information
] wouldn't want anythin else"
''Well. you look at the steel engrsV-
] ms on that there dollar" said s Potts
Fcoldly. That's all the illuminated
/ frontispiece you need. and it'll do you
more good than a libr'y full Of chrome
I Autographs"
Copyright, 1907, by Ellis Parker But
] inrs
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-05-26

done about them, and mebby throw in a
few side remarks about pure food and
Is Goldfish Healthful to Eat?' Don't 1
Daniel?"
II bet YEP agreed Daniel heartily.
Goldfish or wire nails or religion or
anything else. You can't never seem to
tell what it will be until you've got it
said. 1t surprises you just as much as
it does me: don't it, S. Potts?''
1T does" said S. Potts. Il can't
never git over it 1 try to, but 1 can't
II surprises me every time. The less i
seem to know about a thing the more I
seem likely to say about it. Them
things l don't know nothing about at
all when ] begin talkin' generally turns
out to be the very things / can hand
Daniel the most information about
when l git started. So l hain't got. no
use for book like that you're sellin
at all. And what bothers me is why
Daniel here was so plumb foolish as to
go and buy a copy, when he has got me
right here handy, to tell him all about
everything. You was silly when you
went and bought that book, Daniel
well, 5. Potts" said Daniel frankly.
you couldn't expect nothin' else of me-
could your
mo. I couldn't admitted S. Potts
eff there was a fool thing to do you
would be right sure to go and do it,
so l don't blame you much. but I do
blame this here book agent. 1t amt
right for him TO sell you book that
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-05-26

you don't need and can't afford. He
ought to have thought of you having to
support a big family
But you know l amt got big FAM
ily," urged Daniel. Il amt got any
family at ALL
That's why" said S. Potts, trium-
phantly. IF you had they could all
chip in-say nine children at ten cents
month-and it wouldn't come so hard
on you to pay that dollar month. And
the chances are that some of them chill
dren would be out west, or down east,
or somewhere. and they couldn't git
around to hear me give out informa-
ton, and you could send the book to
EN-, and git your moneys worth out of
it that way. The more children you
had the more you would git out of the
book. II you had nine children you
could git five dollars worth out of it.
and. that is what il costs. And if you
had eight children you could git four
dollars out of il; and three dollars out
of it for seven and two for six. and one
for five, and none for four: and if YOU
had three children you would lose only
enc dollar, and If you had two you'd
lose two, and three for one; but YOU
amt got any children, so you lose four
dollars by buyin' that book. And that
is only figgerjn' that you might Have
lad nine children. Mebby you might
have had twenty. And then look what
you would lose. YOU" he said to Eliph'
Hewitt, didn't treat Daniel fair. You
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-05-26

so fast it keeps him awake at night,
and I'm fixed the same way with wis
dom and knowledge. I guess we was
born that way. There amt no prob
lem ever comes up that / don't know
right off how TO settle it. / don't take
no credit for it. for | can't help II, but
/ must say that if they had me down
there at Washington there wouldn't be
so many mistakes made. When my
mind gifts goin on thing it settles it,
and il settles it right. All you have to
do is to mention a thing to me, off
hand like, and my mind gifts to work ON
ii and works IT all out, and settles what
is the right of it and what is the wrong
of it. and does it without any urging
either. It's like dessert to my mind to
git hold of something to settle that
way. And it don't make any difference
what it is nay mind takes a}iold of
eitheT-political, vegetable moral. or
mineral--it is all the same to it, Amt
it, Daniel?"
That's So" said Daniel. 1T beats
all l ever did see
And it don't reed no book like that
CycIopedium' you are tryin' to sell.
neither" said S. Potts. That's the
wonderful part of 1t. Some minds has
to have a lot of facts and figgers to
take hold of before they can get busy to
settle anything, but my mind amt that
way. 1t don't need 'em, and it WON'T
want 'em, and the more facts and fig
gers it has the worse it works. Facts
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-05-26

tails. If a part iv their best suit is a
soord. they've got to wear a soord; if
it's rubber boots, they've got to wear
FIR these naughty CASTLES to do but
sleep with their clothes on, an NANNY
brave Gin'raI who has led tn vic
toryous TROOPS iv Spain through
countless retreats bears horrible scars
that show his devotion to his rile mas
ter firm sleepin' with his spurs on.
well, they waited an waited, till
fin'lly tn wurrud come to haste to tn
palace. Tn American Ambassadure
thoughtfully borrid a pole firm an in
jine house an slid down into his gait
ers. Elsewhere there was much con-
fusion. Gin'raI Santiago del Popylo
had been throubled be bad dhreams,
an was so entangled in his epylits that
gang. TIL Jock iv Opoorto was OBJ
sarved be tn popylace pullin' on his
boots in his gilded chariot. TIL Count
ess iv Alcantara Y Sandago was apply
in a powdher puff an a cup iv tea.
Gin'ral tn Jock iv Allycazam was
Shawn with a safety razor.
up at tn palace all was excitement.
Ninety-eight doctors buggies were
dhrawn up in front iv TIL dure. Two
thousand nurses iv tn noblest Andylu-
sian stock dashed about carryin' boxes
iv CASTLE soap, which is on'y I'D on
rifle infants, an dimon studded buck
cts " parygoric. TIL King. dhressed
FIR tn occasion " bein' a father in a
combination iv tn UNIFORMS iv tn four
hundred Tegimints he is Colonel iv,
paced nervously up an down tn room.
now an thin takin a pull out iv a
goold an ivory flask.
9TH magnificently attired assim-
blage stood silent fxin' its necktie,
combin' its hair or brushin tn feath-
ers off its coat, as tn case might be.
TIL American Ambassadure, tn Hon
rble Names H. Blick, formerly Assist
ant Commissioner iv Public Wurruks
at What Cheer. Kansas. was conspic-
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-05-26

ment that rash had appeared on tn
back iv tn Princes neck. TIL rile sur
geon, Don Y Dock Grogan, llurrid to
in with his colleagues that if tn hope
iv Spain was to be saved radical meas
ures must be adopted. With great
skill he administered talcum poWdher,
an tn Prince is on a fair way to re-
covery.
NANNY presints have been ray
ceived, among thin bein' a pacifier
firm tn King iv Biljum's own rubber
farm on tn Congo, and an enamelled
bomb firm the Gar. with tn inscrip-
ton: Like father used to take TIL
Prince was christened tn other day.
Be tn courtesy iv tn Sultan SPECIAL
wather was brought firm the River
Jordan, which is owned be tn Turks.
7 don't know whether tn Prince howled
an kicked his godfather in tn eye.
They usually do. I've been black an
blue a hundred times firm standin up
with tn childher in this neighborhood.
Annyhow, tn Prince was thurly chris
tened. TIL King his father invested
him with TIL OTdher iv tin GoOlden
Fleas, an he was named afther tn
crowned heads iv tn wurruld, who are
his relations. HencefoTth, be will go
through life with tn folloWin' epithet:
Alfonso Edward WillmO Nicholas Leo
pold GarabOOlagO WI Ching. Fang
Rosenfelt Mockahi h'-Face.
Whin his mother calls him into tn
house FIR supper she'll have to begin
befure breakfast.
"An these here details 1 r-read in me
favrite journal. which is devoted to til
cause iv labor. If we want to know
what's goin' on in tn highest circles
at home an abroad we've got to buy a
journal that is especially printed f.
vurrukin' men an wurrukin' women.
Rilety niver will be abolished as long
as there's pa-aper that makes a point
iv gettin' TIL news that'l PLACE a MINI
Der iv Tinsmiths' Union Number Six.
Afther readin' tn raypoorts iv this ex-
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-05-26

uous in tn brilliant an aven garrish
throng, be tn simplicity iv his attire,
he bein' clad in tn ordinary garb iv
an American citizen whin he goes to
New York, black pants, vest an coat,
an white shirt. He showed his con-
timpt FIR tn foolish pomp iv these rifle
doings be wringin' his hands an ask
in tn man next to him, Ought L to
get down on me hands an knees or
on'y on me knees whin his rile high
ness is brought in?'
Suddenly tn massive oaken dures
were flung open be a sthrong hand, an
tn exquisite Countess Maria Suzette
Annabella Corossa Ann Tobeggo,
flushed with her glad tidings, fairly
flung herself into tn room, an cried:
My lards an ladies, it is al frgot TO
ask There was a moment iv sus-
verybrated through tn long an costly
halls 'HarkI' cried tn British Am
bassadure, What's that?' Tt is tn
palace cat exclaimed tn Jock iv To-
said tn bluff an hearty Gin'raI Escra-
mimic del BamhilIo. Alfonso dashed
firm tn room exclaimin'. Here's where
l go to tn bait!
In a minyit he reappeared carry
in above his head a plate. An what
dye think was on tn plate? Yell niver
guess I'll give We eight guesses an
ven not CUES. 1t was tn child. Yes.
sir. I tell We 1 have it straight. No /
didn't read it wrong. Yell know what
to do next time. In tn front parlor
we'll be gathered-me in a stovepipe
hat. with tn medal got FIR tn hum
dhred yard dash in sivinty three,
Corp-raI Hannigan IL tn Hibernyan
Rifles in his full UNIFORM, til polisman
on tn beat, tn letter carrier, an tn
dhriver ~ injine FIVE. An in We come
carryin' ye'er iliventh cor is it
twelfth p
Twelfth" said Hennessy.
''Carryin' ye'er twelfth on a platter.
Ye can see it here in black an white
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-05-26

King Alfonso enthered carryin' tn
heir to TIL throne on silver plate. He
walked around tn room presintin' tn
infant to wan afther another, saying
'Jook, tn Prince iv tn Astooryas.' An
as each person was PRESENTED they
cried: Long live tn Prince iv tn As
tooryas.' An, Hinnissy, sthrange as it
may seem. he did live.
"Outside, tn sthreets were thronged
with excited taxpayers. Ivrybody
wanted it to be a boy, it seemed.
They've had enough ladies such as
they are in tn Spanish rile family. 1t
was fixed so that a gun wud be fired
to let tn people know whin to cheer
or hiss Ninety-three explosions f'r a
girl TAN ninety-four FIR a boy. " a
sudden, gun doomed out, not in
They counted. Boom, Ninety-wan
Boom, Ninety-two. Boom! Ninety
three. Thin pause. It's a girl. No,
wait. What's TIL use? Let's go home
Hurrah FIR Susy' TIL sportin' ilimint
that'd been betin' on tn FLY were pre-
parin' to cash whin-Booml Ninety
four. Ninety-four booms. A boy. Hoo
rayl TIL popylace whit wild with joy
or home, as it happened. An TIL next
mornjn tn news was flashed into twin
ty millyon American families an
boordin' houses that wan iv tn gr-
reat evints iv til wurruld had hap
pened, an that tn future King OF
Spain was a boy
"Since thin, tn excitement has died
down to some extint. but we're still
gettin' news firm TIL nursery. TIL
Queen is rayported to have walked
down stairs. TIL King is full iv anec-
dotes iv his heir, who RESEMBLES his
grandfather, tn King iv England in
his caustic wit. TIL rifle parent goin
into tn rile nursery tn other day an
observing tn rile young with his foot
in his mouth, exclaimed: 'Wot is til
litle-doodle, doOdledeums doin'?' to
which tn spirited infant replied, Cab.
On Thursday tn capital was thrown
into CONSERVATION be tn announce
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-05-26
r. Dooley on Recent Event in Spain :

well. sir" said Mr. Dooley, Il see
there new baby over at tn
Spain's.",
80 I see," said Mr. Hennessy.
IT'S a great evint to have a kid
come to a rifle family" said Mr.. Doo-
ley. with tn likes iv us people come
an go an 10 wan pays amy attintion
to thin. A birth in this part iv tn
wurruld is inthrestin' on'y to about
three people We notice that Dock
ORGANS buggy stands a little longer
in front iv Schwartz's dure thin if
twas case iv tn humps, an tn
next day tn old man is late at TIL
wurruks. Whin tn foreman is just
about TO tell him to go get his time he
pints his thumb at his chest an says,
'Pop-ah. Tn foreman bein' tn father
iv nine himsilf. shakes him be tn hand
an maybe asks him over to tn Dutch
mans. An that's all there is about it.
We don't hear tn details. In Ar-chey
Road it amt considered polite to dis
cGss thin.
But with rilety tits different, dye
mind. Why. know as much about this
happy evlnt in Spain as though 1 had
3 room in tn house. Weeks ago tn
pa-apers begun discussin' it, an liver
since there's been no let-up. I feel kind
" sorry FIR Alfonso. II it's hard to be
winked at an nudged be ye'er par
ticklar frinds, it must be tn divvle to
have tn whole wurruid winkin' at We
an nudgin' We. Up TO a few months
ago I hadn't heerd anything much
about him firm tn day he was mar
4 RED, whin wan iv his rile subjicks be-
come so enthusyastic over tn nuptials
that he thried to dhrOp eight pounds
~ homemade nithrO glycerine in his
leige's lap. But We can't keep a good
man out iv tn pa-apers, an about st.
Pathrick's day me old heart was glad
dened be tn news that Alfonso was to
become a father like you an Hogan.
I'm a little while tn palajeem iv our
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-05-26

liberties had got me as well acquaint-
ed with tn rile family as though we
come firm tn same town in Ioway. L
have at Taste forty pitchers iv tn good
woman Her name is VietOrya She
didn't want to marry him at first. but
tn folks made her an he's turned out
very well, an she is beginnin' to like
him. She's a fine-lookin' buxom wo-
man. with tn characteristic British
features that We will on'y see at a
German picnic. AS fT Alfonso, he has
a thruly rile face, not pr'aps so fine a
face as tn Car or tn King fv Servya,
but still a face that if We saw it wanst
ye'd instantly say, What a face He
has tn regular Hapsburg chin pointed
at tn point tn Hapsburg swingin' I'M
dher jaw an fixed upper jaw, enclos-
in thirty-two teeth, stationary nose an
ears. movable eyes, an forehead
separatin' eyebrows an hair. If he
come into this store at this minyit I'd
know him as well as though he was a
regular customer.
NthJ SiNs Sol 50 ifllittStSu HI III
young couple that l was thinkin' iv
goin' over TO Spain an givin' thin ad-
vice. An if l was disturbed what dye
think was hapDenin to his rifle sub
jicks? Afther alrs said an done, he's
nawthin' to me. He's nice young fell
low, but that's all. l don't have to
pay him his wages. But think iv tn
long hours iv waitin' FIR tn Spanish
people. TIL popylace didn't suffer as
much as tn nobility. TIL popylace cud
lave Wurrud TO be called if anything
happened, an go to sleep. But with tn
nobility twas different.
"Whin a rile child is born, all TIL no.
bility, tn Gin'rals iv tn army. tn Ad-
mirals iv TIL navy, an tn Ambassa-
dures iv foreign powers have to chase
up TO tn palace an be presented to tn
kid befure his eyes are open. An
they've got TO go dhressed. 1t don't do
to hurry into a sweater an a pair iv
sneakers. or slip into a wrapper.
They've got to appear in full rig'min-
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-05-26
MAGAZINE SECTION.
By T. p. Dunno

cellent family counsellor I find mesilf
thinlzin' " tn Prince " tn Astooryas
comm into tn wurruld wearin' a Gin
rails UNIFORM an a soord. An know
that amt so. Me reason tells me that
he's about d foot high. with no teeth,
little hair, red face, an disposition
to prickly heat. No matther what ya
call thin, Hinnissy. babies are babies.
an people are people. An if ye put tn
Prince iv tn Astooryas an p. ]. Sla-
win, Junior, that was born tn same
night in Halsted Sthreet in a crib to-
gether an left tn room, We cudden't
tell thin apart if they were both in the
crib whin We come back. II wan iv
thin was on tn fure ye'd recognize tn
Prince
well, thank Hiven. it's over an we
can go back to wurruk. Tn ia-ad's
havin' prob'bly tn best time now he's
liver goin' to have. About twinty years
firm now he'll be leadin' a life as pre-
caryous as a chicken on an autymobile
road. It may've been fun wanst to be
a King I wud've liked tn job mesIlf.
But since tn establishment " so man
ny shootin' gallTies in Patterson, New
Jersey, I've given I'D all me ambition
in that line. Whin tn time comes FIR
me to die I'd like to pass away all in
wan piece. There were about tin thou
sand babies born in Spain tn same day
TIL Prince iv tn AstooTyaS come into
tn wurruld. It don't make so much
difference how he threats them He
can't do much FIR thin EXCEPT let thin
see him wanst a week dressed in his
best suit iv clothes. It's what they'll
do to him. I'm WOndhrin' about"
"WeU." said Mr.. Hennessy, 80 long
as he's on'y a baby 1 drink his
health
I'm with We" said Mr.. Dooley. IN
glass " matted milk to tn Prince iv tn
Astooryas"
DOWNRIGHT. 1907. by H H. Mcclure &
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-05-26
San Antonio ENpressl

tSan Antonio ENDress.)
This proposition, said Rudolph Boxer
of Indianapolis during a shareholders
meeting. reminds me of ono that wife
made to her husband the other day.
James, she began. you know how
I have been scTaping and saving all the
year for my Easter costume?
Yes said the man: ! know.
Well. she went on. I've decided on
it now. It IS an empire gown Of pale
green broadeloth. and it is to cost $50.
| want to ask you to help me lit
tie
3" How much do YOU needg the husband
inquired.
I've got all but si25.' she replied"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-05-26
DESIRABLE LOCATION.

The House Hunter like this house
well enough but ! don't like the idea Of
its being right next door to d police sta
ion. with all those staring policemen.
The Agent-Ah, sir, but this is really u
great advantage. Think how easy il viii
be TO keep a cook here.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-05-26

Copyright, 1907, by H. H. Mcclure &
Co
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-05-26
AN EASTER SUPPLEMENT.

Copyright, 1907. by Ellis Parker Blu
Ior
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-11-03
FOR Big WOLF HUNT
AN AFFAIR BEING ARRANGED
FOR PROBABLY THE BIGGEST.
WOLF NUNr EVER HELD.

oklahoma City. Ok. Nov Prep
arations are nearing completion for
the great wolf hunt to De held early
this month in the neighborhood OF
Tulsa. l. r. The affair Is being ar
ranged by Bob" Galbraith. the Indian
Territory oilking and the participants
will include sportsmen from all over
Oklahoma, Indian Territory. Arkan-
sas. Missouri. Texas and other states.
The scene Of the great chase will
be the wild and almost impenetrable
region between Red Fork and Lost
city, aboundlng in steep hills, deep
croviccs, subterranean passages and
rocky caverns, where wolves and all
kinds of wild game abound In great
number. The only big, black timber
wolves left in the new state have
their lalrs in this vicinity and prey
upon the chickens, pigs and 9th n
small domestic animals on the sur.
rounding farms.
Among the participants is expected
to he John Abernathy, the United
States marshal and famous wolf hunt
er who catches 'em alive" Durir <
a wolf hunt in the big pasture" two
year, ago, In which President Roosc-
vet took part ALernathy performed
his daring feat of catching wolf
bare handed, TO the great delight Of
the president A prize Of $50 has
been offered to anyone who will lu-
plicatn this feat in he coming hunt
Mr. Galbralth has also offered n
reward OF $500 t. any Nimroi who
will capture wolf known In the
neighborhood OF Lost City as "Old
Blackcy. The animal Is said to be
as large as calf, and for five
years has eludel, with great cunning.
all attempts to aifect its death or
captivity, Among the superstitious In
dams ola Blackcy" is credited with
possessing an evil spirit, which makes
thu animal iuulnerable 10 bullets,
For the first time In the two terri.
tories. fox hounds will he used in
stead Of grey hounds in chasing
"0d Rlackey' and other members
cr the pack. Some o' the best dogs
" the country have been cntered,a rd
IL Is expected that the hunt will be
among the most exciting Of its kind
ever held in ,his country.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-11-03
NOTICE IN BANKRUPTCY.

ne thus attacked the metropolitan
In the District Court OF the United
at Ardmore.
In the matter OF John q. Adams
bankrupt, in Bankruptcy.
To the creditors OF John Q. Adams,
In the Southern district in the Indian
Territory. at Ardmore, bankrupt:
Notice Is hereby given that on the
29th day OF October, 1907, the said
John Q. Adams was duly adjudged
bankrupt. and that the first meet
ing OF his creditors will be held at
my Office at the Court House in the
city OF Ardmore, on the 9th day OF
November. 1907. at 10 o'clock in the
forenoon, at which time the said
creditors may attend prove their
claims, appoint n trustee, examine
the bankrupt and transact such
other business as may come before
said meeting.
JOHN HINKLE.
E. Referee in Bankruptcy.
First published. Oct, 80 1907