davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25
Narnat and tha Veteran.

when Horace Vernet, the great
French painter Of battle scenes, was
at the height OF his fame" said an art
ist, when the prices he was getting
were enormous. q grizzled old veteran
came to him one day and said:
~ want you to make my picture to
send home to my son. What though.
Is your charger
"How much are you willing to payT
said Vernet, smiling.
"A franc and a half was the an
swer.
"'very good
"And the artist, with a few quick
strokes, dashed of a wonderful sketch
Of the old man.
"The old man paid, tucked the sketch
under his arm and carried II out tri-
umphantly to a comrade who awaited
him outside.
"'But / did wrong not TO haggle
BIT yerret overheard him say. I
might have got 1t for frame
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25
q Turkish WSd.

Among the many anecdotes related
of the old Turkish joker Nasir EddiD
Khodja is the following: Khodja went
one evening TO the well to draw water
and, looking down TO the bottom. De
saw the moon. Quickly be ran into Dis
house and got rope with a hook at
tackled to the end OF II. This he low
cred into the well. The hook caught
fast on a stone. Khodja pulled des-
perately. the hook gave way, and there
was the joker. fat on his back, star.
ing up into the sky. Upon my soul,
he exclaimed, perceiving the moon, !
have had bad fall, but have put
the moon back in its place.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25
True sr.inssa Instinct.

Ed was q mighty bright negro be-
.onglua to a family In Columbia, Tenn.
lie had been a faithful servant for
many years, and by saving and care
fully investing bis wages he had he
LED the usual thrifuessness attributed
with mo-e or less justice 10 the ma
jOrity Of his race.
His master was an attorney, and
one morning before he had arisen the
lawyer was called upon by Ed, who
gaid:
SAY, boss, An wants yo' ter draw
re up a mawkgidge.
"a mortgage?" asked his master.
what do you want mortgage for?"
"Well. Abs done lent Unc' Lisha five
Gollahs, an An wants mawkgidge on
bis COW an caff."
For how long have you lent the
money!
go one mont"
zone month! Why. the interest on
that amount FOR that time wouldn't
poY for The paper a mortgage Is writ
& n"
"loss." said Ed, scratching his head,
"Ah amt caFin' muffin TO- dat intrust
All ies' wants dat niggah's COW an
cafr. fudge.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25
No Plaea For Yin Hero.

''YOur honor" said q prosecuting at
toyney in q backWoods court the
prisoner at the bar Is charged with
killing one Of the most exemplary citi-
zens OF this county. Thomas Jones,
your honor, was In every respect a
model man. lie was a member Of the
church; he was never known 10 bet on
horses, play poker, drink whisky or
use tobacco. He
Hold on minute" said the judge.
"You say he never bet on a horse%
That's what said, your honor"
Never was known TO play a game"
'Never, your honor"
"And no never drank whisky?
Never drank a drop IN his he"
"And be didn't chew tObaccOT'
'Never took a chew in his llfe.'
well then" said the Judge, IL don't
see what he wanted TO live for. There
wasn't anything in life for him, and l
don't see wfry~he amt about as well
off dead as alive. Release the prisoner,
Mr.. Sheriff. and call the next case."-
Nashville American.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25
Loves Pretty Way.

Blllson-Whose pOcketboOk Is that
you are advertising for?
Jimson-My own, Of course.
"Get OUT Containing roll of bank
notes and a large number OF checks.
Finder can keep money If he VIII re-
turn papers Get out! You don't see
a roll of bank notes or check once q
year."
"No, but Bertha Bullion's father
takes the paper | advertised In, and
he'll see that advertisement"
"Humph Where did you get the
money to pay for that big ad."
Bertha lent it to me, bless the dar-
lingr-I.ondon Answers.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25
The Coach and Four Came.

Among the many records OF Harrow
school is that Of boy. the son OF
poor local tradcsman In very small
way OF business. His schoolfeilows
often taunted him about his family
poverty. Their thoughtless jeers. al
though hurting bis feelings, drew from
the lad the retort. II Intend before l
die to ride In coach and four" The
years sped by. and. 10 and behold. the
poverty stricken youngster OF Harrow
had developed into DR.. Parr. the great
est scholar OF his time. whose GUS
tomary and favorite means OF locomo-
ton was coach and fourLLondon
Mail.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25
Her Fathor.

"Mrs. Mudgerson seems to be 50 nf'
fected since her husband succeeded In
getting money"
"Yes. she does appear to be afflicted
a little In that way. I heard her refer
ring Yesterday to her father. who was
a blacksmith, rs one who used to he
able to make such beautiful designs In
wrou .ht IRON Chicago Record-Hor-
al
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25
A Mans N9okGe

Ever since regiment Of Cro0tian
soldiers marched into Paris three cen
turtles ago with their nPcfs sVathed
In silk and Louis XIV, delighted at
their APPEARANCE. decided 70 adopt the
fashion E:usclf. the cTavat IN its vari
Gus changing forms has played an IN
portont part IN thc attire OF men. And
80 reliable T. !, supposed to he as al
index 10 it's wc1rer's personal charac
teristicS that Buf'cu. the French sa-
want. was crIc i7J 10 rvnIgk. The era
yat makes the man"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25
Ambition.

Uncle Horace (who Is something OF 0
sage and philosopher-My boy. IT Is
time for you TO think seriously OF the
kind of future you intend to map out
for Yourself. To sum 1t up in a word,
what eptnph are you anxious to
have engraved upon your tombstone
Nephew dust beginning his career)-
"He Got His Share. Pick Me-Up.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25
Made IL Clear.

"I beg your pardon. waiter" said a
traveller In n railway restaurant did
you say that | had twenty minutes &c
wait or that IL was twenty minutes
toS?
"I said naythur," answered the at
tendant ''I said yez had twenty min
utes to ate. an that's all yez had. feI
trains gone nowv'
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25

: wo:- . -; sc.cu.p on my boy
,e'd rather vash tie dishes thai!
wash his hands. % ! lct him wash tht
fishes"
"Whars the foxy r1rt?"
"Why. he gets his hands clean."-
Louisville Courirr-Jo1rual.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25
He Exclaimed,

The stranded automobilist was work
ing over his car Up came sarcastic
follower Of the plow.
How many horsepower Is sher he
mirthfully inquired.
sixty" replied the automobilist.
"Then. by heck. why don't she goT'
Because, my friend. thirty are pun
ing each way."-Cleyeland Plain Deal
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25
An Amendment.

Mrs. MeanthIng-H Henry. have to
write paper for our club on The
Woman Who Deliberates Is Lost
Have you any suggestions to maker
Mr.. Meanthlng-Well, don't know.
You might make II extinct instead
Of '1ost."-Philadelphia Inquirer.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25
The Two Views.

"say, pa. what's the difference te
tween an optImist and a pessimistT
-An oBtImist, Johnnie. thinks the
times are ripe; pessinist thinks they
are rotten."-Harper's Weekly.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25

Money loaned on long time and snSl
monthly payments. Loans guaranteed
to be paid up s4 months II pa:m' n
are promptly made when due. Valley
Bulldog & L. Asso. Woodstock, vs.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25
joys OF Absence.

"Aren't you awfully lonesome with
out GeorgeT
81 haven't time to be. spend the
mornings reading his letters and the
afternoons answering them."-Brook'
lyn Life.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25

Mr.. Bacon II was up to see the
Smarts' baby today.
Mrs. Bacon Did they make hifu
talk?
YES"
''What did he sayr
81 couldn't understand. think IT'S
q great mistake for mother to teach
child 10 talk when she has hairplns
IN her ncuth.r Yonkers Statesman
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25
A ucid lrtervsl.

DOctor-IIas your husband had any
lucid intervals since | was here last?
well. this morning he kept shouting
that you were or old fool, and he tried
to break the medicine bottles. Life.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25
A Criterion.

"What Is a synonym asked leach
er.
"Please, sir" said the lad, ITS a
word you can use In place OF another
IL you don't know how to spell the 9th
er one.-School Board Journal.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25

"You don't mean to say that Spend
er Is on his uppers. Why, thought
he had money TO burn"
80 he dii have: but, unfortunately
for Spender, he carried no FIRE insur-
ance.s Brooklyn Life.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25

Mrs. Proud-What did you think OF
Myrtle's essay on THE Lovely LifeT
Mr. oud-Excellent. No one would
think that Myrtle drinks eau de cologne
and slrps her little brother, would
they. dear?-Chicago News.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25
HE Min 1Eino.

"She has the face OF n ecrapb" de
clared the enthusiastic friend.
THAT'S all right" sail the practical
manager. "hut he's she the backing OF
an angelo Baltimore American.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25

4 man should allow none but good
impulses to stir his heart and he
should keep It free from any evil that
may beat II down and harden it.-Rey.
] u Hammond.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25

Tomuy-Say, mammal Mamma
Well. what is it, Tommy Tommy
How does deaf ana dumb boy say
bis prayers when he happens to have
Il sore finger: - Kansas City Inde
DcDGcDt.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25
Preoecupied.

The professor had fallen downstairs.
and us he thoughtfully picked himself
up be remarked. 81 wonder what noise
that WIS | just heardr'-New Orleans
Times Democrat.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25
What IL Proved.

Miss oungthing-Boo-hoo-hoo' Char
ley's given me q ring set with q mean
little turquoise. Her Mother-Thats
an emblem Of constancy. Miss Young
thing-It isn't! It's proof of stinglness!
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25

SLOW are the meals at your hotelY'
"Pretty good"
THAT means pretty bad ehT-Ex
change.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25
knatorlY.

The Professor Some Of you gentle
men are not giving me your closest at-
tention. NJ B,ggs, what DO you fnd
under the k,dGeys? Future NJ. D.
Toast. sir-PucE.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25

A good way to cultivate patience !s
10 watch the growth Of bank ac
c0unt.-Dallas News
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25
Used UP.

Dlgby-Hcw long did It take you 20
learn to run d motor car? Skorcher-
On. FIVE or six. Digby-Five or SIX
what-weeks? SEorcher No; motor
cars.--Catholc Standard and Times.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25
Sour
Stomach

No appetite, loss Of strength. nervous
ness, headache, constipation. bad oreath'
general debility, sour nsings, and caiarrh
Of the stomach are all due 10 indigestion
Kodol relieves digestion. This new discov'
ery represents the natural juices OF dlgeS
tisn as they exist in a healthy stomach,
combined with the greatest known tonic
and reconstructive properties. Kodol Tor
dyspepsia does not only relieve Indigestion
and dyspepsia, but this famous remedy
helps all stomach troubles by cleansing.
purifying. sweetening and strengthening
the mucous membranes lining the stomach.
Mr.. s. s. BsR a Rsvenswood. W. Va. says:-
. was troubled With sour stomach for twenty years
Kodol cured mo and vs ~e now using It 10 nia
tcr tasy."
RoSo! Dizasts What You Eat
Bottles only. REEVES Indigestion. sour sscscfch,
belcGing OF gas. &c.
Prepared by 8. o. Dewitt d co.. ohioAco
Walton & Smoot.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25

The applause OF single human
being is Of great consequence.-John-
son.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25
Ghenardoh f7eraId
Advertising Rasee

Advertisements will be insert
ed at one dollar per square Of
ten lines or less, for the first To-
seTtlon, and 90 cents for each
subsequent insertion.
aS- Quarterly or yearly ad.er.
'jssmenss by contract.
80 Unless the number OF ins.r,
ttons is marked upon the ms d.
script, advertisements will BE- pub
lished until forbidden and chargc d
accordin sly
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25

Fe who knows most fOrciyes mOst
italian PrOyerb.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-10-25

The talker sows; the listener reaps.--
italian Proverb.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-09-26
Measuring Livestock.

An English paper gives the follow
ing rules for measuring stock: TN
measuring a beef steer, take a string,
put it around the animal, standing
square, just behind the shoulder blade.
Measure on a foot rule the feet and
inches the animal is in circumference.
This is called the girth. Then with
the string from the bones of
the tail which plumbs the line with
the hinder part of the bullock; direct
the line along the back to the foreport
of the shoulder blade. Take the di-
mensions on the foot rule as before,
which is the length. Work the figures
in the following manner-Girth Of
the bullock 6 fit. 4 in; length 5 # 3
in; which multiplied together make
33 square superficial feet: that null
tiplied by 23-the number of pounds
allowed to each superficial foot of cat
tie measuring less than 7 INC more
than 5 feet in girth - make 759
pounds. Where the animal measures
less than nine and more than I feet
in girth, 20 pounds is the number to
each superficial foot. Again, suppose
a calf or sheep should measure 4 TT.
6 in. in girth, and 3 TT. 9 in. in length,
multiplied together, make 1914 square
feet, that multiplied by 16-the num-
Der of pounds allowed to all cattle
measuring less than 5 and more than
3 feet in girth-makes 264 pounds.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-09-26
ulous stage of your evolution, my dear
young lady" said the manager.
And when will that be?'
Probably a million years hence"
Pinkerton in Iowa.
fNav Work Trihupe

(A<GW IOIh IIipuiit.y n
One of the most dangerous bandit
! pursuits which Robert A. Pinkerton led
in person and which will long be re-
membered at the Pinkerton h~eadquar-
ters followed the first raiding expedl-
ton Of the James and Younger broth
era.
1t was on June 8. 1871, that the COM
| bined bands of outlaws visited Corydon.
| Wayne county, Iowa, having learned
that the county treasurer had a large
store of recently collected taxes. Jesse
James entered the treasurer's office,
asking for change for a 500 bill.
THE treasurer has the combination
of the safe" sale the man in charge,
suspecting nothing, "and he's attending
a meeting out in the grove. They're
talking over the building ! of a new
schoolhouse."
James was going out after the coun-
ty official, when the clerk remarked
that a new bank had opened across the
street, and that he could probably get
change there.
James led the gang across the street.
and at the point of their revolvers got
$751; 900, half the banks capital, Whlch
had Just been deposited. AS they were
going out the door they met a negro
preacher coming in to open an account.
He had his money in his hand. and they
made him drop it into their saddle
bags.
On their dash out of town they
passed the scene of the public meeting.
They informed the school committee
that the Corydon bank had just been
robbed and told the villagers that they
had better hurry back to town and
start a new bank.
The case was given to Robert A.
Pinkerton, still a youth, by his father.
He organized a posse n followed the
trail of the outlaws thru the lower
Iowa counties. JUS before the Mis-
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-09-26
Topics Of the Times

Approach of the day when prohi-
bitiop will go into effect in Georgia has
brought about a new rule by wholesale
LIQUOR dealers. The retailer must pay
cash all the same as the customer al
! the bar. NO credit say the whole
salers. Too near prohibition.
An Illinois woman has beer d.
vorced seventeen times. Under the
new law it requires eighteen years in
| Iowa to equal this record.
An Independent League with an OBJ
ject to nominate Hearst deserves the
name. 1t is independent of every
thing the average voter believes nee
essary to good government.
Mr.. Bryan's speech on The Needs
of Democracy might be put in two
words-"more votes" But Mr.. Bryan
win amplify.
Frost never affects the coa mans
harvest adversely.
s
Turbine engines have located Liver
pool lust off Staten Island. st. Pet
ersburg is closer to San Francisco THAI
New York was to Buffalo fifty years
ago. Bring on the flying machine.
The mayor of New Orleans has APP
pointed three women on his new ten
ement house commission of seven
members. These appointments have
been greeted with general approval.
They are Miss G. McMains, the head
resident of Kingsley House, a social
settlement; DIR. Edith Foeber. daugh-
ter Of a well known New Orleans ply
sician, and Mrs. Grace Chamberlain,
president of the Era club.
49,
Ezra Meeker's OK team and Jack
London's story of Coxey's march thru
Iowa, are equal parts of almost for
gotten tradition.
Little Willie-Say, pa, when Is red
an indication of danger?
Pa-When you see it on a railroad
mans nose or a woman's cheek, my
son.-Chicago News.
One thousand per ZEN profit is the
mother Of universities.
First Nighter-Did they seem to
like your sketch, Bill?
Timid Actor think they did. They
called for me, and finally they dared
me to come out!-Harper's Weekly.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-09-26

Where is this growing horror go
ing to stop? In another ten years, at
the present rate Of increase, our rail-
roads will have killed and manned
over a million ard a half of people;
the number of victims for the tenth
year-1915-alone will be more than
215. 900. If this wholesale butchery
were the result of war, of famine, or
Of pestilence, those age-long enemies
of our kind, the entire nation long
ago would have risen up to demand
that at any cost, save that of honor,
this slaughter be made to cease.
IF, on the other hand. this contin-
uous and sickening roll-call Of death
were a necessary concomitant of our
growing Industrial supremacy, we
might feel inclined. as an intensely
practical and commercial nation, to
make a virtue of necessity, and point
with pride to the number Of IL in
dustrial victims as an indication OF
bravery as we are wont to point to
the number of our dollars as an index
of Intelligence and worth. But even
this poor satisfaction is denied us. At
least sixty per cent of our railroad ac-
cidents are unnecessary and inexcus-
able."
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-09-26
Iowa Newspapers
is IT A
(Des Moines Tribune)

A base ball nine, playing in a good
league, is a modern necessity to a city
of any pretensions. Without it a city
would be at least half dead.-Cedar
Rapids Republican.
This proposition will meet with de-
NAL by many people. 1t will be en-
dorsed by many others. While a first
class league team nay be of some adj
vantage to a city, it is by no means
a necessity, nor is a town "half dead
that does not nave one.
There are some people Who believe
a league team is detrimental to a city.
Others declare it to be a curse. And
others consider it al advantage, but
few people believe it to be a neces-
sity.
There are many wives and mothers
who unhesitatingly call it a nuisance.
They assert that the national game
has an unhealthy fascination for their
husbands and sons. Some business
men denounce the game because it in
terferes with the work of their en-
ployes, and occupies too much Of their
time and attention.
And there you have it. No doubt
base ball has come to stay. 1t is the
great national game. 1t has its de-
voices and it's opponents. But it can
scarcely be truthfully called a neces-
Sitw
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-09-26
A COMPARISON OF YourHFuLNEss.

Major John Il. Lacey, a former lowe
congressman, is in washington ior q
time as a private citizen. He mas
been interviewed and with his usua
hluntnass tells where he is at. He
would personally like to hav a rouno
81. two" with Governor Cummins as
q candidate for the senatorial sue
cession, but proposes to lie at arnas
while Allison is a candidate. Allison,
ba saws. will and should be returned
Notwithstanding the fact that "Alilson
is approaching his eightieth year.
However. we ma infer that should
Senator Allison succumb to old age or
Sickness or any of the causes that are
likely to force his retirement as a
candidate. Mr.. Lacey will be standing
armed cap a pie at Oskaloosa with an
ear cooked toward the southeast.
Mr.. Lacey talked about Joe Cam
non as a presidential possibility, Ihe
Illinois man is dismissed by Mr..
Lacey as. too old. IF he We're ten
a younger the major would see
some chance for him. At u, however,
the speaker of the house is not to be
considered.
Joe Cannon strong enough to as
sumo the autocracy of the speakership
and hold it with an iron hand, is too
old, according to Lacey-and Lacey IS
right. Cannon, while exceptionally
virile, as he is at 70, has lived and
worked beyond the promise of mems
wears. But Cannon lives in Illinois,
and his candidacy is not necessary
to the hopes of an Iowa coterie. Sen
ator Allison is approaching his
eightieth year but is a logical and
available candidate. Joseph n
is 70, but too old.' Allison at so is
just at a ripe and useful age.
The jewel of Major Lacey's consist
ency is not of the first water.