The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-09-24
A Lhe-Saoing DeUice,
DRIFTWOOD
BY PTIIL. H. ARMSTRONG;

Of c6,lrse the child is father to the man---1Alen a baby he reaches out af- ter soap-bubbles, and in later lite af- ter auxo-bubbles.
 Footpads. after holding up a post office special delivery boy in St Louis and getting no money, took his spec tacIes from his nose.--News Item.
 We thought the boys in Boston wore spectac1es. not in St: Louis.
 There is a paper manufactured now and dried and glazed the acid being partly neutralized with ammonia vapor. This paper will fall to pieces and dis ing used Amateur poets and prospect i've breach of promise suitors should be compelled to use this variety GUS freak known as the human torch" She was evidently won by his fwarm affection.
 A Tenn essee girl has married man named Dollar wen. hell have to live up to his name now.
 We'll, well. now the Holy Rollers predict the end of the world next year. The old earth has had some startling predictions before, but has managed to roll on just the same with MT. Roeke- feller's and Mir. Morgan's kind permis- sion.
 Say. dada t the North Pole hand Mir. Wellman g. cold deal
 Up in Cleveland the ministers intend forming a union. Good-maybe 1t will mean shorter hours of, pulpit work and the fad may become general.
 AS to Eating Corn.
 Shades OF Epicurusi
 When l Penned the paragraph below 1 little thought should bring the editorial vitlls of the esteemed Wash lngton Herpld down on my innocent and someti'iIes foolish head However in explanation I would say that the dreamy-syed girl referred to had false teeth and everybody at our boarding house knew it. But Pm willing to leave it to that famous judge of food stuffs; The Houston Post if a girl doesn't look Funny gnawing away at corncob!
 Says Tie Montgomery Advertiser:
 'One way to shatter loves young dream is to see the dreamy eyed gifl you're in love with eating corn off the cob"
 That Is a sad mistake. and we are surprised to gee such statement in so ehlvairic and courteous a contem- porary. The Advertiser knows better It has been watching Alabama girls eat corn from the cob for wears and years-ever since its giddy, Youthful uays' Tn facC, which is a very long less remark recorded, we have no against. the method: employed by some particularly annoying female not Ia corn au naturel than it did with in- tent to indict the fair sex in a sweep ing or wholesale manner. 1 Advertiser knows S it-nothing stirs the | heart-strings of a youth more. readily than the sight of well-bred. good looking, and laughing girl eating corn mayhap, hungrily. It is the only sat- Iisfaetory swaY to eat corn, anyhow! real. genuine country butter. is as l different from corn prepared in other ways as is noon from evening tide. It is Impossible for a girl, to eat corn and showing her lpearly teeth-every 1 fellows best girl" of course, has pearly teeth. Moreover, in choosing corn thus prepared and tackling 1t unafraid and diismayed, she shows her generous measure of good, common l sense-and a suggestion Of thia, eoV- is never wasted on 3l leveI-headed man. Such a girl would be sure to serve Irish potatoes with their jackets on when rounded up finally and domesti- cated
 Even now, we are quite sure, The Advertiser is sorry ir spoke. Its lan- l guage would be set down as hl8h trea- | son were 1t not for the fact that its long and honorable oareer suggests un- l thinking haste instead. No one holds l the sweet and blushtng maidenhood of the land closer to it's heart than our Alabama contemporary--meta etaphorically speaking of course, and to be sure; We know in truth, that this ever youthful veteran would sit for hours in the sunshine at ninety-nihe degrees and watch bewitehine Alabama girl eai cnrn froro q rob. and never for a mo nuan+ yrn,v awearv. "Shatter loves young dream" indeedI It tends 70 ih' tensify it threefold, ana then Sotne'- Washington Herald.