The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-31
AYHAWKER .JOTS

Mr. Pool, of Rice county, is figuring
en- 5000 bushels from his corn patch
of 100 acres.
A Harper man is the owner of three
bull dogs and three game chickens. If
the Japs want to fight, bring them on.
What do you think of this? An
illustrated Lecture on Uncle Tom S
Cabin" is touring the small towns and
giving its performance in its own tent.
Down at Anthony the water pipe in
mans cellar burst and not only
flooded the cellar, but the moisture
cost him twenty cents a thousand gal
Ions. He had just put meter on the
pipe.
The latest instance of simplified
spelling is furnished by an Iowa man
who wrote to a Wellington lawyer
about a small piece of land which he
owns and which he referred to as my
atty"
The Ell Dorado Republican takes
the report that William Allen White is
a member of a church choir at En-
poria as a reflection on Editor White,
but Charlie Blakesley thinks those
who have ever. heard "BilP' White
sing understand that the report was
started for the purpose of injuring the
church.
What could be more trying on a
MANI" bewails Editor Olson OF the
Solomon Tribune. Here we were
with free railroad transportation and
comps to Ringing Bros circus, yet
we had to stay at home and work" If
Brother Olson Will kindly furnish his
recipe for securing free railroad trans
portation to a number of other edi-
torial brethren, he will receive their
eternal gratitude.
Deacon Walker: There are always
a few men in every church who think
they can preach lots better sermons
than the minister The man
who mows the weeds in front of his
place and keeps his trees trimmed has
done more for his community than the
citizen who has figured out which
political faction will save the country
Funny, isn't 1T, that the man
who can afford to booze never does it
to amount to anything. 1t is always
the fellow who can't afford it.
1 have discovered that 1t makes no
difference how great a philosopher
you are. you can't do much for hui
mainly when a swarm Of flies are
dancing a quadrille on your bald head.
"a member of the city council who
has the contract to build the wooden
forms for the sewers" remarks Henry
Allen. as he begins to cook up a good
brand of advice, sends the hot mes
sage to the Beacon that he intends to
come in and clean out the Beacon Of
fee. What's the use OF that? With
the temperature prowling around 80
degrees, what's the use of getting mad
and smashing UP a lot of newspaper
furniture and filling up the city hos
pitfalls with the remnants of editors?
Why not keep cool, give up the city
contract, or get out of the city coun-
ell and help the Beacon in its work
of cleaning out the graft in city con-
tracts? That's lot better than
cleaning out a newspaper Office"
According to the Arkansas City X
Rays, a Kansas farmer sought the ad-
Of 10 "a
result: ITS this way explained the
client. 1.-THE fence runs between
T2rown's place and mine. He claims
that I encroached on his land, and I
insist that he is trespassing on mine.
Now what would you do if you were
in nv place ?" IF 1 were in your
place" replied the lawyer, "Pd go
over and give Brown a cigar, take
drink with him. and settle the con-
tFoversy in ten minutes. But as things
stand I advise you to sue him by all
means. Let no arrogant, dom1neer-
ing, insolent pirate like Brown tram
pie on your sacred rights. Assert
your manhood and courage. l need
the money!