The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-10-19

Mr. Joseph Kelly, vaudeville artist
and monologist." as he modestly an
nounced himself in the theatrical jour.
nails, tilted back his chair, elevated his
feet to a comfortable position upon
the office desk and complacently lit a
huge cigar. MIR. Kelly's selfsatisfac-
ton. however, was only superficial in
asmuch as no thermometer was neces.
sary to prove to him that his land.
lords cordially had dropped several
degrees since his advent upon the
scene, several weeks before. This
sliding scale of affection was due to
the fact that Mr.. Kelly had apparent.
ly overlooked his bill for board and
lodging, not to mention cigars and
similar luxuries.
To tell the truth. MIR. Kelly's fnan.
ces were in a sadly demoralized condi.
ton. and his apparent forgetfulness
was rational IL not excusable. Three
weeks previously Mr.. Kelly and his
little band of transformers" had sud
denly found themselves stranded and
without funds In an unsympathetic
village. After telling Mr.. Kelly few
pertinent facts concerning his past.
his present. and especially his future,
the troupe, having disposed of suncry
personal effects, departed singly and
in pairs to take up other and less haz.
ardous occupations.
Mr.. Kelly. however. who abhorred
work In any guise, had, after due con-
sideration. descended upon the hostel
ry In an adjacent village owned and
conducted by Silas Matthews. Now,
Silas had. in by.gone days, known the
elder Mr.. Kelly, and upon this tenr-
Gus fact our friend based his hopes
and expectations. Nor was he disap-
pointed, for Silas had received him
with open-armed hospitality, where
upon Mr.. Kelly proceeded to make
himself thoroughly at home.
However, after time, even the
most honeyed words begin to pail and,
as Silas watched the gradual demon.
alization of his stock of choice cigars
and mellow Pickwick, a chilling polite
ness began to replace his former ef-
fusiveness.
Mr.. Kelly, therefore as he breathed
out huge clouds OF fragrant smoke,
| perceived that the time had mt last ar.
| rived when he must be up and doing
IL am going to give little enter
tainment this evening in the town hall
Silas," remarked Mr.. Kelly, affably
land / want you to help me-"
Coin tew charge admission" quer
led Silas eagerly, perceiving a possible
remuneration for past favors in the
occasion.
Sure, sure" responded our friend
perceiving at once the bent of his
hosts mind Fifty cents straight
and you and T'-here he slapped Mr.
Matthews affectionately upon tn,
shoulder-"are going to divide tho
plumber; that is, of course. If yol
promise to help"
Anyone observing the genial glow
that overspread Silas' face at these
words would not have doubted hi
Willingness.
Now, my little scheme runs lik,
this" said Mr.. Kelly, accepting witt
dignity the cigar Silas rendered him
After a few evolutionary stunts L
break the ice, will give the crowd |
song and dance about mind reading
Now, Of course, this mind reading
business is pure rot and bluff, ant
that is the reason | need you, see
Now / want you to-" Here Mr.. Kell.
leaned over and whispered earnestl,
in Silas' ear for moment, wherea
that wor ny turned pale and sat dow
Imply in chair. Gradually, how
ever, as Mr.. Kelly unfolded his plan
the color returned to his face ant
when he had finished, even Sila
seemed TO have acquired some of hi
enthusiasm. albeit II was somewha
sickly and weakened.
Don't forget to get the number
correctly" cautioned Sllas as the col
spirators parted, and be sure to le
me know what they are before night.
Silas promised and Mr.. Kelly saul
tered nonchalantly away to indulge
! anticipatory dreams. Evidently tn
visions were extremely pleasurabl,
/, for he might have been observed /
,, pause at frequent intervals and II
dulge in longdrawn chuckles of d
light.
A large and enthusiastic audienC
greeted Mr.. Kelly as, with face su
fused with smiles, he came forwaI
and bowed low his appreciation OF Ii
, generous applause,
His elocutionary efforts, entitle
asleep at the Switch" and Casey
the Bat" were masterpieces, and cor
pleted the subjugation. Mr.. Kel
therefore, perceiving that his audienC
D was in generous and receptive moo
3 resolved to delay his coup" Z
longer.
+ As the last plaudlt following his r
! cital of Casey's downfall died ava