davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31

Hose. I'm out here to give the Corn
fields Touch Of High Life It's about
time that your Chaws had a Glimpse
of the Great Outside World Any one
who gets Fussy about the Color Combl-
nations that l spring from Day to Day
will be chopped up and served for
Lunch. To begin with, I'm going to
teach you and Mother to play Golf. If
these Nuts come and lean over the
Fence and start to get off their Color
rd-Weclily Jokes Wen fan the Hill
side with them"
What do they teach up at your
School-besides MURDER" inquired Fa-
ther. II thought you wanted to be
Nounty Superintendent of Schools"
I've outgrown all those two -by-four
Ambitions" was the Reply, I'm 60
Ing to be on the Eleven next Fall.
What more could you ask?"
That very week Wilbur organized a
Ball Team that walloped Hickory
Crick, Sand Ridge, and Sozzinsville.
He had the whole Township with him.
Every Cub at Pewee Junction began to
wear n Turkish Towel for a Collar and
practise the Harvard Walk
MORAL: A Boy never blossoms into
his full Possibilities until he strikes an
Atmosphere of Culture.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31

most to the Hips and was buttoned
below. The Trousers had enough ma
tcrial for suit. They were reefed to
show fcvcriSh Socks of Il ZigZag Pat
tern The Shoes were very Bulldog
Ey, and each had wide Terrace run
ming around it. Father held on to n
Truck for support Never before had
he seen n genuine Case of the inflam-
matory Rah-Rahs.
Wilbur was smoking a dizzy little
Pipe from which the Smoke curled up
ward, losing itself in n copous Fore
lock that moved gently in the Breeze.
Instead of Collar, Wilbur was wear
ing Turkish Towel He had the Har-
ward Walk down pat. With both
Hands in his Pockets the one who had
been pursuing knowledge teetered to-
wards the Author of his Being and
said, How are you, GovernorT
Father was always Lightning Cal
culator, and as he stood there trying
to grasp and comprehend and mentally
close in, as it We're, on the Burlap Suit
and the Coon Shirt and the sassy Pipe,
something told him that Wilbur would
have to Switch if he expected to be
County superintendent of schools.
Here are my Checks" said Wilbur,
handing over the BraSSes. Have my
Trunks, my Golf Clubs, my portable
Punching Bag the Suitcase and Hat
Boxes sent up to the House right
away. Then drive me Home by the
outside Road, because | don't want to
meet all these Yaps. They annoy me-"
you'd better git out of that Rig
mighty quick If you don't want to be
Joshed," said his Parent Folks
around here won't stand for any such
fool Regala. and If you walk like a
frozen-toed Hen you'll get some Hot
Shots or miss my Calkllations."
Say, Popsy, I've been eating Raw
Meat and drinking Blood at the Train
Ing Table, and I'm on Edge" said Will
bur, expanding his Chest until it bulg-
ed out like a Thornton Squash. "If
any - these local George Clues try to
shoot their Pink Conversation at me
I'll toss them up into the Trees and let
them hang there. I'm the Gazabe that
Puts the Shot Any one who can trim
Policeman and chuck a Uackman
right back into his own Hack and drive
off with him doesn't ask for any sweet
cr Tapioca than one of these CATER
Greens. The Ploughboy who is muscle
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31

Sauce For the Gander.

\ busy merchant was about to leave
home in BriNton for trip on the con-
tncnt. and his wife. knowing his aver
sion to letter writing. reminded him
gently Of the fact.
"Now, John, you must be eyes and
ears for Ms ut home and drop us an
occasional post card telling us any
thing of interest, Don't forget, will
you, DEAR"
The husband promised. The next
morning his wife received Il postal
card: Dear Wife-I reached Dover all
right. Yours aft"
Though somewhat disappointed she
thought her husband must have been
pressed for time. Two days later how
ever, another card arrived, with this
startling announcement: Here am in
Paris. Yours ever" And still later
Il am indeed in Paris. Yours"
Then the wife decided to have lit
tlc fun and seized her pen and wrote: :
Dear Husband d-The children and
are at BrXtOn Yours
\ few days later she wrote again,
I'VE are still in RriXton."
In her last communication she grew
more enthusiastic: Dear Husband
Here we are in BriXton. | repeat it,
sir. we are in BriXton. L. S.-We are
indeed"
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31

perscvered and got through he woIld
be entitled to wear an Alpaca Coat
and II Lawn Tie and teach in the
High School, so he took Courage and
began to notice the Scenery.
Wilbur was planted In a boarding
House guaranteed to provide Whole
some Food and Il Home Influence. Fa
ther went back after making final
Discourse on the Importance of learn
ing most everything In all of the Books
Nine Months later they We're down
at the Depot to meet Wilbur He had
written several times, saying that he
could not find time to come Home, as
he was In pursuit of knowledge every
Minute of the Day, and if he left the
Track, knowledge might gain several
Laps on him. 1t looked reasonable,
too. for the future Superintendent of
Schools had spent $i0O for Books, 5000
for Scientific Apparatus, and something
like $50 for Chemicals to be used in the
Laboratory.
When the Train suddenly checked
itself, to avoid running past the Town.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31
Returned the Courtesy.

Oliver Wendell Holmes was Strolling
on the beach one day when he began
chatting with a little girl who was
building pyramids of sand. His charm
of personality had its customary effect,
and the child soon slipped her hand
into his and walked with him. BY and
by the little one said she must return
to her mother. "Goodby, my dear"
said Mr.. Holmes. land when mother
asks you where you've been. tell her
you've been walking on the beach with
Oliver Wendell Holmes" The great
name was absolutely unknown TO the
child, but she recognized Il courtesy in
the words of her stranger friend and
was not to he Outd0ne. His pleasant
bow and smile acquired Il quaint gravi-
ty as initiated by the child. She re.
piled, "And when you 60 home and
they ask you where you've been, tell
them YOU We're walking on the beach
with Mary Susanna Brown"
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31
The HenqIish Haitch.

Illustrative of that troublesome
Icnglisll hatch" an American traveller
relates the following:
Once dined with an English farmer.
We had han.-very delicious baked
ham. The farmers son soon finished
his portion and passed his plate again.
"Morc am, father" he said
The farmer frowned.
Don't say am, son. Say am"
Il did say am" the lad protested in
an injured tone.
You said am" cried the father
ticrccly. AIMS what it should be.
Am, not am"
In TIE middle of the squabble the
farmers wife turned to me and, with
Il dcprccatory little laugh, explained:
"They both think they're sayin' am,
sir" Everybody
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31

lively like the rest of lis. so we agreed
that the first one caught scIlin' ON his
beat should be thraShcl. Sre:'
Yes | see. You have Il sort Of a
brotherhood among yourselves"
We'll we're goin' to look ont for n
little cove what's lame. anyhow
There comes Iimpy now. He's Il
fortunate boy to have such friends"
The gentleman bought two papers of
him and went on his way downtown,
wondering how many men in business
would refuse to sell their wares in or
der TO give a weak. halting brother a
chance in the field.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31


- SO poor that the future inventor
n had scarcely any education,
barely learning how to read and
write. His father died when Robert
was three years old, and AT an early
age the boy was apprcnticed to Il
Philadelphia jcweler. In addition to
his work in the shop, young Fulton
SCape painting and showed such talent
that he was enabled to keep his wild
owed mother and in four years bought
farm on which he placed her. He
then went to London to prosecute the
study of his art as Il painter. SO
strong bent had he for science. how
ever, that in his odd hours he studied
mechanics and engineering. Finally
attracting the attention of the Duke
of BridGeWatcr, who was then inter
CStcl in an extensive canal scheme,
Fulton was induced by that gentleman
to give up painting altogether and t.
devote himself to civil engineering and
invention
In the next few years Fulton invent.
ed an incline plane for supplanting ca
nal locks, Il mill for saving and polish.
ing marble, machine for Spinnin"
flax and another for making ropes.
He also wrote a book on navigating
canals and another on the application
of steam to navigation. At about this
time he attracted the notice of Edward
+. Livingston. United States minister
at Paris. In response to an invitation
Fulton went to that city, where he
soon invented Il submarine boat which
he vainly tried to have adopted by the
French, British and American govern
mcntS After his failure in this at.
tempt he returned to his dream Of
steam navigation and invented Il small
Ioat which successfully nHvi"atcd the
srinc. Livingston was 50 interested
that he advanced money to Fulton to
come 10 America and build steam
boat for the Hudson. The result was
the Clcrmont, from whose first trip
between New York and Albany dates
the beginning of a new era in the
water transportation of the world.
The CIcrmont marked the high tie
Ci FultOn'S 81, cess. He was forty-tWO
Years Old Mt the time and lived only
Ci"ht years longer having been worn
oUt by the inCcSSant toll of his earlier
life. He had lived long enough. how
ever. to become one of the immortals.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31
Misdirected Mourning.

While exploring the grounds about
the tomb of Washington, a gentleman
happened to see lady of mature years
who, bathcd in tears, was knecling be
fore an cditiCc some distance from the
monument Thinking she was in some
sort of distress the gentleman offered
assistance.
mo. sir, thank YOU very much. | am
not in trouble. but my patriotic feelings
overcome me when gaze upon the
tomb of the Father of his Country"
"Quitc So" the gentleman replied
tcndcrly. Il thoroughly understand,
but my dear madam, You have made a
mistake. This is not the tomb of
Washington This is an ice house"
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31

Here, boy, let me have a paper"
Cant"
"Why not? heard you crying them
loud enough to be heard at the city
hall"
Yes, but that was down 'tCther
block, We know. where hollered."
"What does that matter? Come, now,
no fOoling. I'm in hurry
Couldn't sell you paper on this
here block, mister eos it b'longs to
Limpy. He's just up the furdest end
now. You'll meet him.
"And who is Limpy, and why does
he have this blOck?"
"'Cos us other kids agreed to let him
have II. Ye see, it's good run, count
of the offices all along, and the poor
chap Is that lame he cau't git around
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31
Polite Cowboys.

Golfers Weekly says that cowboys
are always glad to practice poltencss
when they have chance. Two ladies'
delayed by an accident lunchcd in a
station of the Southern Pacific road
Two cowboys We're at the table. They
arose, bowed and stood until the ladies
We're seated. To be equally courteous
one of the ladies asked, May | not
pass the buttcr?' The reply was i'm
mediate, Il don't choose none, thank
you most to death, ma'am."
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31
Jack London as a Musician.

Jack London, the author, was intro
duCed one day TO n musician.
Il, too, am musician in small
way" London said, My musical tai
cnt was once the means of saving my
life"
"lIow was that:" the musician asked
"Thcre was n great flood in our town
IN my boyhood,' replied London
when the water struck our house my
father got on bed and tloated with
the stream until he was rescued"
And you" said the musician.
"Wcll," said London, Il accompanied
him on the piano" - Ladies' Home
Journal.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31
He Knew the Kind.

A small boy in Boston who had un-
fortunately learned to swear was re
bukcd by his father. "Who told you
that | sworc?' asked the bad little
boy. "Oh, little bird told me" said
the father. The boy stood and looked
out of the window ScowlinG ut some
sparrows which We're SColding and
chattcring; then he had a happy
thought 81 know who told YOU" he
said. 1T was one of those damned
SparrowS."
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31
Didn't Know For Sure.

Down in New Iberia, La, where Jo-
seph jefferson had one of his numer-
Gus houses, the actor and eX-President
Cleveland were going over the planta-
tion together and stopped before an
old antebellum cabin. A smiling man.
my invited them to enter. On the wall
of the bare, dark room hung litho-
graph picture of Cleveland.
NANNY said jefferson, whose
picture Is that:
II doan' know fo' sho'," was the r0-
ply, "but think it's John de Baptis'."
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31
Prompt Retribution.

The following notice was recently
found tackled on the door of local
church: There will be preaching in
this house week from next Wednes-
day, Providence permitting, and there
Will be preaching here whether or no
on Monday following upon the subject,
He that believeth and is baptized shall
be saved, and he that belicveth not
shall be damned at 3:30 in the after
nOon."-Clinton (AIo) Record.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31
TIE First OHense.

Tommy (who has been puniShel)
Mamma. did your mamma whip you
when You We're little?
Mother-Yes, when was naughty.
Tommy-And did her mamma whip
her when she was little?
Mother-YeS, Tommy.
Tommy-And was she whipped when
she was little?
Mother-YeS
Tommy who started it, any
way -Lippincotts.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31
Bill Inside.

Bill Jones, a Louisiana storekeeper,
went to New Orleans to buy a stock of
goods. They We're shipped at once
and reached home before he did.
When the boxes were delivered at his
store his wife happened to look at
the largest. She uttered loud cry
and called for n hammer. \ neighbor,
hearing the screams, rushed To her as
siStanCc and asked what was the mat
ter. The wife, pale and faint, pointed
to an inscription on the box, which
read as follows: BILL inside"
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31

Let me come in where you sit weeping
aye,
Let me. who have not any child to die
Weep with you for the little one whose
love
have known nothing Of
Tho little arms that slowly, slowly looscd
Their pressure round your neck; the
hands YOU used
To kiss such arms. such hands l never
knew,
May | not weep with you?
Fain would l be of serviCe-say some
thing.
Between the tears. that would be COM
fortinE-
But ah, no, saddcr than yourself am l.
Who have no child to die,
james Whitcomb Riley
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31
3 The -
Scrap Book
Why the Congregation Uttered.

WHY ITt OUTyT CyaNTUT 7 ITNFtTtU'
The story is told of lIclru Hunt, the
famous author of "RamonI." that one
morning after church service she found
a purse full of money and told her pas
tor about it,"
every we'll" he said, you keep 1t,
and at the evening service | will an
nouncc it" which he did in this wise:
This morning there was found in
this church purse filled with money.
If the owner is present. he or she can
go to Helen Hunt for it,"
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31
Chamberlain and the MAYOR.

Joseph Chamberlain was the guest
of honor at dinner in an important
city. The mayor presided, and when
coffee was being served the mayor
leaned over and touched Mr.. Chamber
lain, saying, shall we let the people
enjoy themselves little longer, or had
we better have your speech nowT
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31
Know the Secrets.

"BIinks, the
billionairc, real
ly wants to give
away his mon
ey, but he does
not know how"
Several of the
sure thing gen.
tlemen would
be pleased to
give him a
correspondence
course, guaran-
tecing satisfac-
ton"
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31
A Sliuht Difference.

Hear about SquireS marrying u
widowY
"Ycs, but 1t isn't So
"IIe told me himself. and he ought
TO know"
But | happen to know better, am
we'll acquainted with the widow"
And he didn't marry herr"
"NO; she married him"
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31

bound and
f II | | of
+ a s t ry
will have
n Proud
c h a II ce
any time
t h a t h @
$ t r II t s
across my
L n athway.
| II m Y
Trunks |
have eight
suits n lit
tie warm
cr t II n n
t Ii | S one
n II d At
pairs of
passionate
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31

One .Au-
tuInn Aft
ernOon Il
gray hair
ed Agri
culturist
took his
oungeSt
o | / V e
Branch by
the Hand
a II d led
him away
to n Var
slt.y. VII
Dur W Il =
Is and an
Onion. He
hG Il out
grown his
last years
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31
Made the Discovery.

THAT horse you sold me last week
is balky."
as that possibleE'
"Now, don't pretend ignorance. You
knew it all the time
You wrong me. | hadn't the slight
est inkling in regard To it until after
l had bought the horse myself"
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31
Human N ature.

"That woman means that her son
shall marry that girl"
"Why do you think sof'
"She is knocking the girl every
chance she gets"
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31
Undoubtedly.

"There ig one time when it is always
we'll for you to look out for yourself"
"And when is thatT'
"WhEn you have somebody looking
out for you."
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31

there came
ont of the
Parlor Car
something
that look
ed Ii k g
+ t 2, on
account of
the Pad
dingis the
Shoulders.
Just above
one Ear he
w ore Il
dinky Cap
about the
size Of Il
L o $ tagc
= I Il m u
The Coat
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31
To Help Your Town Grow.

Make your back yards places of beau
y and not eycSoreS to the community.
Lend hand when you see your fell
low citizens trying to build up the
town.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31
His Experience.

Experience IS always useful"
Indeed mine has been just the OPP
posite."
"uow Is that"
81 have found experience sadly
ObuSeful"
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31
Her Reason,

"Are you fond of fish,"
"Oh. very"
"Any particular kind?"
Yes the kind that takes my hus-
band away every year for Il month on
an angling trip"
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31

voutions in the gray matter are by
the size of Il mans head.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31

As many people shy at a logical con-
CluSion as jump ut a chance.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31

Sometimes man imprcsScs you as
having mind too large to he very
active.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31
Humor Gna Philosophy
BY DUNCAN NJ. SMITH
PERT PARAGRAPHS.

In modern life 1t sometimes seems
that the best way to ccouomiZc time IS
to be late to everything.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31

Sometimes man is out late at night
acquiring a reputation that he can't
lose
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31
What the College Incubator
Did For One Modest
Lambkin.

Copyright, 1902. 1903. by Robert Howard
Russell
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31

The loser is usually more earnest
about fair play than the winner
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31

The fellow who pcrsistcntly looks
for a soft snap is more likely to light
on hard times
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31

The most satisfactory way to cut
off boys cigarettes is to cut the Ciga
rette off close to his shoulders
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31
TWO MINUTE SKETCHES
Robert Fulton.

BY J. n. f DC Z r ron.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31

What is baseball without Il summert
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31
TO BEAUT|FY A TOWN.
How Well Directed Efforts Will
Produce Good Results.
WHAT ONE SOCIETY HAS DONE.

Progressive Citizens of CresskiIl, NJ. j.,
Organize an Improvement Associa-
tion and Accomplish Wonders-Depot
Grounds Transformed-Trees Saved.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1907-08-31

@OBERT FULTON'S parents We're
" SO poor that the future inventor
n had scarcely any education,
barely learning how to read and
The daily morning journal and courier., 1907-05-03

enjoy without let or hindrance and without any incumbrance of care,
 Item: To lovers. l devise their im- aginary world, with whatever they may need: as the stars of the sky; the red roses by, the wall: the bloom of the hawthorn; the sweet strains of music, and aught else by which they may de- sire to figure to each other the lasting ness and beauty of their love.
 Item: To young men jointly, de- wise and bequeath all boisterous, in- spring sports of rivalry, and give to them the disdain of weakness and un- daunted confidence in their own strength, though they are rude; I give them the power to make lasting friend ships and of possessing companions, and to them exclusively give all mer- " songs and brave choruses, to sing with lusty voices.
 "Item: And to those who are no long CT children or youths or lovers, l leave memory, and I bequeath to them the volumes of the poems of Burns and Shakespeare and of other poets, If there be others. to the end that they may live over the old days again, freely and fully, without tithe or diminution.
 Item To our loved ones with snowy crowns l bequeath the happiness oi old age, the love and gratitude of their children until they fall asleep. New York Times,
The daily morning journal and courier., 1907-05-03
THEIR TRIBUTE TO AMERICA.
Strnngest Celebration the Glorious
 Fourth Ever Had.

The feeling which Russian reformers have for America is shown by an inci- dent described by George Kennan in recent number of the Outlook. If the story was ever generally known in this country, the recollection of 1t has grown rather vague.
 In the summer of 1S76-the American Centennial summer-when there was confined in the great prison known as the House of Preliminary Detention in St. Petersburg more than 300 political offenders-all of them in separate cells, but secretly in communication with one another by means of the knock alphabet" lit was decided by them to have general prison celebration of the American Centennial Fourth of July.
 As early as the Fourth week in June the prisoners began to make prepara- tions for the proposed celebration by requesting relatives, who were permit ted to visit some of them once or twice a week, to bring or send to the prison, for their use, as many red and blue handlxerchiefs, neckerchiefs, shirts, and pairs of red flannel drawers as could be brought or sent without exciting suspicion, and at the same time all of the prisoners who were permitted to have movable lights in their cells be- gan to purchase and hoard cheap tal- low candles
 The colored garments were torn into strips the candles were cut into long ! bits, and both were distributed throughout the prison, either by at-