CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1907-10-24
SIDEWALK MUTTERMas.

agent
woman Is fairly well pleased with
the weather If she can manage to keep
her hair in curl.
No man believes 1t is very serious
offense to steal watermelons. unless
he owns the patch.
When a man quits a job, his en-
ployer is apt to say, "He gave up the
chance OF his life."
The men are as uncomfortable in
the presence of agents as women are
in the presence Of milliners.
II a man owns a small horse you
can make him mad by referring to it
as pony" in his presence.
We poor are to have another griev-
ance: President Roosevelt is going to
Newport to visit the Vanderbilts.
"She," other women are always
saying of another woman who is de-
voted to her husband, "is a fool"
Some Texas cattlemen are planning
to start packing house to fight the
big packers. You will probably hear
more about it when the company be.
gins to issue stock.
Governor Hoke Smith, OF Georgia,
has a plan to disfranchise many Geor-
gia negroes; that Is. he has a new
plan. differing in many respects from
the old-fashioned shot gun.
The politicians are working for free
railroads, in order, to make them
selves popular with farmers. Why
don't the politicians work for free
ranch hands. and plenty OF them!
Those Democrats who believe that
their party will win next year. and
that Bryan will be the Democratic
candidate. are saying that Bryan is
the greatest man since Washington.
Ever notice a team Of horses?"
said Canon man today. When there
is a heavy Id, cce horse goes ahead
and does all the wc:k. The other horse
hangs back and takes things easy.
Well, that Is the way 1t Is in the store:
some OF the clerks are pulling a big
load this hot weather, and the other
clerks are taking vacations"
You got your lemonade story wrong
in yesterdays Daily Record" said a
lady to a Record reporter this morn
ing. " made him the lemonade then
he wouldn't drink 1t, because the wat
er hadn't been boiled. Now when he
was counting me he would have drank
that lemonade II 1t had been made out
of ditch water, and microbes were an
inch deep in the bottom OF the glass;"
A few weeks ago VIM. E. Curtis. the
famous correspondent of the Chicago
Record-Herald, called on Mrs. Mary
Baker Eddy, head Of the Christian
Science cult, and writes that he saw
no evidence OF mental weakness; she
looked remarkably well for a woman
of sc. and was bright and cheerful.
We can't understand Mrs. Eddy's writ
ings, and do not believe anyone can.
but are willing to accept Mr.. Curtis
testimony that she is not crazy.
A citizen slapped an old nuisance
today. The old nuisance had been
bothering him for weeks. There was
some Indignation because a stout man
slapped an old nuisance. What am
to do?" the citizen asked. in explain
alton. Must I stop my work, which
is important to me, and play with the
disgusting creature, who will neither
work, nor respect the rights of those
willing to work? Hereafter. I do not
intend to submit to being bothered by
these men. II 1t Is necessary to pay
a fine in the police court. in order to
gain relief, I will pay the fine"
A Canon woman who has a hard time
to keep up appearances. uses a graph
ophone to prevent the neighbors from
within her four walls. Her husband
Is a great scold, and whenever he be-
gins to holler about this or that, she
starts the graphophone, and keeps 1t
going until he quiets down. It 10 said
that the woman has but one record.
Whenever the neighbors hear waits
Me Around Again, Willie." they know
the old man Is " raising cain"
Friendship Is such . frail thing
that It seldom lasts from childhood
to childhood, but there 10 an instance
Of It In Canon City. Two women were
little girls together and Quarreled ov-
or their dolls and ribbons. but friend
ship thrived and grew. They have
been true friends ever since. and have
now reached the age whom one Of
them, child again. accuses the 9TH
er OF taking her ribbons. It II an
unusual case. and pitible ending to
friendship that hourlshed and grew
strong through the test Of years. But
are not all endings to the stories told
In real life pitiable?
Notwithstanding the steam laundry
Cinnamon are still trying to break
into this country. Seven celestials
swan the Rio Grande the other day,
and were arrested as soon as they set
foot on Texas soil. Pretty tough to be
arrested, and in Texas, too. BY the
way, now that labor Is 30 scarce. why
not let In a few Cinnamon?
Here IL an old funny story: A baby
was born at q certain house, and the