davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1907-03-15
An Offensive Custom

There is a custom, which is as old as It
is idiotic, for cheap actors in cheap places
of amusement to single ont various localities
as a targer Of their cheap wit Pawtuckct
has long been a sufferer Of this sort OF
thing II is perhaps difficult to determine
how much a place may be injured in this
way, but it is safe enough to infer that /, IS
a kind of advertising that is not desirable.
The Merchant Associa tion Of Pawtuckct
has recently considered the thing seriously
and has taken steps to see what can be
done to prevent these foolish assaults on
the fair name of their municipality The
members Of the association evidently have
an idea that the thing is really business
dctrment. II people who attend shows
would recognize the fact that such Jokes are
as old as the "Ancient Mariner" and never
were witty. their silence instead Of weak
applause might put stop TO 1t.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1907-03-15
A Contrast

The following is an extract from a state
ment made by Senator Pettus of Alabama
regarding, his colleague Senator Morgan,
"Iad he worked at his profession, ! have
no doubt i'll the world that. on an average
his income wobld have been at least $40,
600 year. The senior senator from Ala
bama came here In moderate circumstances,
and he is in very moderate circumstances
to-day. His estate is worth only about as
much 10 day as it was when he came, and,
to tell the truth, our people are proud that
he is worth no more. II may be singu-
ar sort of thing, but they are proud of HIM
because he has not become rith.' A very
marked contrast to the above is the career
OF Hon. Nelson w. Aldrich, senator of
Rhode island lie went TO Congress ''in
very moderate circumstances and to-day is
rated millionaire lie amasscd this for
tune in some mys erious way, the details OF
which have never been made public. The
people of Rhode Island may feel proud OF
their senator, proud that he has made so
much of his political opportunities. It
is not uncommon to hear him laudcd as at
great man and credit and honor to the
state The A ALBANIA idea may be wrong
and the Rhode Island idea right, but we do
not think so The Southern statcman's
career proves that his honesty and integrity
have been unassailable and without re-
proich. No mysterious smirch can be
found in his long years of public service
and lis bright and unimpeachable record
will be a legacy to the people of his State
On the other hand What legacy can
Senator Aldrich leave to the people
Of Rhode Island, except. that he was
a shrewd man, who was considered
leading exponent Of political commercial
ism Of his day and generation.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1907-03-15
The Favorite Girl.

She is the girl who is not ''too bright
and too good to be able to find joy
and pleasure all over the world, says
the Chicago News.
She Is the girl who appreciates the
fact that she cannot always have the
first choice of everything in the world.
She is the girl who is not aggressive
and does not find Joy in melting az
gressive people.
She is the girl who has tact enough
not to say the very thing that will
cause the skeleton in her friends closet
10 rattle his bones.
She is the girl who. whether II is
warm or cold clear or stormy. finds
no fault with the weather.
She Is the girl who when you invite
her To any place compliments you by
looking her best.
She IS the girl who makes this world
a pleasant place because she Is so
pleasant herself.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1907-03-15
THE WAITER.
An Enviable Job, His, According TO
One Of the Profession.

"Why do the young men OF America
snccr at the walters caliing?" said the
quiet man in the black swallowtall
coat. "A waiter can travel all over
the world. become a superb linguist
and cnsily earn from $50 10 $50 a week.
Yet the young clerk or salesman, with
eight per and no future sneers ut
him.
when ] was n young chap my good
mother wanted me TO take a job in a
department store selling collars. Not
/. said Id be waiter Aud my
mother was shocked.
"Yet look at me. As n waiter l trav-
el wherever wish. One winter I'm
In Egypt, the next on the Riviera the
next in Rome. Spring finds me In
Paris, and thence leap the channel In
time for the London season. In the
autumn | am back In America again
with full pockets.
81 have learned French, German and
Italian. have made friends with
many rich. intelligent. amiable people.
| have seen the world, and | earn ST.
600 a year. Yet clerks and counter
jumpers think they can sneer at me.
They had better learn my trade"-New
York Press.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1907-03-15
To Make Your Hair Curl

A curious recipe for making the hair
curl naturally" ~ given In an ancient
household notebook and is "a follows:
"In the early spring. when the sap of
the wild grapevine begins to flow, take
a bottle to the woods and tie it under
an incision made In the vine, through
which the sap may drip. and leave II
there till il is filed. The same subtle
chemistry which curls the tendrlls OF
the vine will act upon the hair and
twist II into softer rings than the ubiq-
uitous hot iron or any OF the patent
curriers' OF the day. The sap should be
allowed to ferment all IL will before IL
is corkcd When ready for use II should
be rubbed into the hair with soft
sponge"
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1907-03-15
Low t.ECK CLAIMS.
&c That Met a Man Who Had
feebls Sense Of Humor.

. oN- governor Of Wisconsin. famous
% ~tJry teller, once rejoiccd "A com
D.. If friends with an account OF hls
t,,..".cnce AT "A New Jersey clambake
20 ne clambake there were plenty OF
H",pic who enjoyed the speech OF the
Ni7consin man, hut there was one seri
J,s minded listener on whom il fell
5.t.
II started Off" said the ex-governor
ling the story, "by stating that had
,.tcH 80 many OF their low neck clans
llt | wasn't in the least sort Of condl-
.ou for specchmaklng. At that mo
mcnt long faced old man directly
Cross the table scowled at me and
mid in n stage whisper
Little neck clans. little necks. not
low nrcks"
Il paid no attention To him and went
~ with my remarks. After dinner he
followed me out OF the hall.
You're from Wisconsin, aren't
youT he asked.
Yes answered.
Don't have many clans out there,
| rcck on
"'Mpll' | said, we have some, but
is II good way TO water. and in driv-
me thcul across the country their feet
let sore and they don't thrive very
well
"'Why. man alive said he, clans
haven't any feet.
soon after that he buttonholeJ one
Of my friends.
lis that fellow governor OF WiscOn-
sin| he demanded.
My friend admitted that was.
'Wanl.' said he, p'r'aps he may be
II smart enough man for Wisconsin,
but he's good deal Of fool at the
ScnshOrcr"
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1907-03-15
LONG AND SHORT DAYS.
Where the Sun Never Sets For Three
and a Half Months.

and a Half Months.
The length OF day or night a man
prefers is merely a matter of choice
and the ability TO get TO the proper
place. II any one is not satisfied with
what he gets at home there is an as
sortment Of daytime which ranges
from three hours duration to three
months and half. from which he
may take his pick. On the other hand,
he can play the nighthawk for from
two hours and Il half up.
At Wanderbus. in Norway, the day
lasts from May 81 to July % without
interruption, and at Spitzbergen the
longest day lasts three and a half
months.
At Tornea, In Finland, the longest
day has twenty one hours and a half
and the shortest two and half.
At ST. Petersburg and Tobolsk the
longest has nineteen and the shortest
five hours.
At Stockholm and Upsala the longest
day has eighteen and half hours. At
Hamburg, Dantsic and Stettin the long
est day has seventeen hours and the
shortest seven.
At Berlin and London the longest
day has sixteen and half hours and
the shortest about eight.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1907-03-15
Lord Erskine.

From midshipman to lord chancellor
Is very far cry. Lord Erskine. how
ever, whom Lord Campbell once lie
scribed as the greatest advocate Of an
Client or modern times. did not find
much difficulty in reaching the Wool
sack although he started life as q
"middy" and did not settle down &c
study law until he was twenty-five
years Of age His defense Of Captain
Baillie. prosecuted for his exposures OF
gross abuses ut the admiralty, raised
him from nm obscure lawyer to a fore
most position at the bar, and thirty
briefs were offered him before he left
the court From that time until he be
came chancellor In 1906 his career was
marked by long list Of successes
London Standard.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1907-03-15
The National Capital.

It is claimed that Washington is the
cleancst city in the United States. If
they were so disposed the ladies might
wear their best afternoon gowns on the
street without having them soiled. The
general cleanliness OF Washington is
due 10 the noticeable absence of fac
tories with their soft coal smoke, and
the asphalt streets are kept so clean
that there is little dust or dirt in the
air. An almost forgotten fact is that
Washington was first called Rome. and
a creek which flowed through the site
Of the city was spoken Of as the Tiber
Oddly enough. the first owner of the
land upon which the capital is now 10
Gated was named Pope.-Phladelph
Press
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1907-03-15
THE PIANOFORTE.
A Direct Descendant Of tho Claviehord
and harpsiehord.


The pianoforte was directly evolved
from the clavichord and the karpsi-
chord. In III Scipione Maffei gave a
detailed account OF the first four in
struments. which were built by Barto-
lommeo CristoforI, named by him pi-
anoforte, and exhibited in 1109
Marius in France exhibited harpsi-
chords, with hammer action, in 1718
and Schroter in Germany claimed to
have invented the pianoforte between
I'LL and 1921. Marius at first was
generally credited with the invention
for It was not until 1888, when Cristo.
forts instruments had become famous
that the Italian advanced his claim
and it was In 1893 that he brought for
ward the proof OF his contention.
Pianos Of that period were shaped
like the modern grand, the first square
plano being built by Freiderica, an
organ builder Of Saxony, In 1853. The
first genuine upright was patented in
England and the United States by
John Isaac Hawkins, an Englishman
In lSOO.-Scrap Book.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1907-03-15
TESTED HIS lIBERALlTY.
And tho Host In Turn Tested His
Guests Generosity.

4 rather parsimOniOuS gentleman got
the better OF some Of his acquantances,
who were continually pestering him
about his niggardllncss. Goaded TO
desperation by their taunts, he one day
invited his detractors To ~ dinner.
When they made their appearance they
were simply astonished at the magniii~
cencc OF the treat provided. Apologies
were rendered, and the misery indlvid-
ual was warmly complimented as well.
"Now, gentlemen" said the host when
acknowledging their compliments, you
have put my libcrality TO u test. ] am
going 10 try your generosity. | know
poor man who is very much in need
of financial help through untoward cir
cumstanCcS. and | propose 10 raise n
subscription in his behalf. See, COM
mencc the list with 10 shillIngs. VIII
you hclpT
Needless TO sny every one subscribed
literally, M no one cared TO be thought
more close listed than the host, who,
when he had collected nll the money,
cooly said
Il thank YOU, gentlemen, for your
sympathy, and now | think we nrc
quits. You have paid both for your
joke and your dinner. II was | who
required the money. london Mail.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1907-03-15
She Had Many Suitors.

Napoleon Ill. when he was living in
London; the Duke dAumale. Lord
Beaconstield and many other conspic-
uous figures OF the nineteenth century
are on record as having been among
the Suitors for the hand of Miss Bur
dett Coutts, who afterward became
baroness. and it is doubtful whether
any woman ever received so large "a
number OF matrimonial offers as the
baroness. In fact. they became a posi-
tive nuisance and In ls47 she was
compelled To bring legal proceedings
against lawyer Of the name OF Rich
ard Dunn, who, according to the
terms of the indictment, had for eight
years prosecuted her with most unwel-
come attentions with view To matri-
monN Dunn was sent 10 prison for
eighteen months, although there is no
doubt that he was. while sane in other
matters, perfectly crazy on the subject
Of Miss Burdett-Coutts, rs she was
then, and particularly on the subject of
her fOrtunc.-C Chicago Tribune.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1907-03-15
Saved by Ghouls,

Nilsson in his Medical Anecdotes
tells ot a woman. the wife of a consul,
who was buried alive In Cologne In
gay attire. with jewels, a. on her we'd
ding day. Robbers came at night and
were taking the rings from her damp
and swollen fingers when she sudden
ly sat bolt upright, stared at them and
smiled. They fed In terror, and the
lady rose and walked home, where she
was received at first with fear, after
ward with great Joy. She lived many
years aftcrward I'm perfect health.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1907-03-15
Spool Thread Numbers.

Spools of thread of different quail
ties are all numbered alike. irrespective
OF factory or maker. The reason for
this is that the system of measurement
OF sewing cotton is practically uni
vcrsal, and when $40 yards of yarn
weigh 1000 grains "a pound OF cotton)
the makers mark II No /. II 1.6SO
yards of yarn weigh a pound il is
marked No. 2. and so on. each pro-
gressive number signifying that $40
yards more are required to weigh a
pound
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1907-03-15
a Few Twists.

Some Sabctha girls once made ny n
list Of definitions of Kansas towns, the
names of the towns To bc guessed from
the definitions. Here they are: Very
bowlCggCd. Great Rend: thin monas-
terry. Abilene; the price Of yeast. Leav-
cnworth: why Mrs. Smith went. Smith
Center; descendant of IA sncczc. AtChi-
son; Il sire Il circle and term in sing
Ing. paoln: what the American needs
to secure duke. Price; what some
folks have To de- for n living. Russell;
my first not wearing the second, got
the third. Manhattan. - Kansas City
Star
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1907-03-15
M0ONSHINlNG.
More Illicit Stills In New York City
Than In Kentucky.


"DOn't talk TO me about moonshining
In kentucky" said the internal reve-
nue. agent. There's more moonshin-
Ing going OH all the time in little old
New York than could be done In ten
Kentuckys. In the crowded sections OF
the east and west sides stills spring up
right along and for awhile conduct a
fourishing business IN the low grade
whisky they manufacture. You see. II
doesn't take much trouble 10 equip a
still vi corn aud yeast and start In
10 make the mash, which is finally
turned out AS pretty poor sort OF
whisky. The great difficulty is in get
ting rid OF the peculiar smoke and
odor from the stills without exciting
suspicion. This Is usually attempted
by running the still In connection with
a dye shop or some other chemical en-
terprise as q blind. We keep watch on
all such establishments and have the
town well covered by sharp eyed and
sharp nosed agents besides. We are
constantly arresting these small moon
sinners and sending them TO Jail. But
enough spring up In their places for
you to say with safety that, as / say.
there's more moOnshining going on in
New York city right along than there
could be in ten Kentuckys."- New York
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1907-03-15
De NcrNal's Pet Lobster.

A few days before Gerard de Nerval
was found dead in narrow. dirty
street Of Paris he was seen walking
In the ralaiS Royal. dragging after
him hy means W a blue ribbon a live
lobster. To n friend who accused him
Of madness he replied why is lob
ster any moro ridiculous than n cat, or
dog. az Il gazcllc or any other beast
that will follow man? Resides. | enjoy
the company of Holsters. They are
quiet; they are serious; they know the
secrets of the sea: they do not bark"
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1907-03-15
A Monument TO Her Oath.

In the market place of Devices, a
town in Wiltshire England, there
stands II monument erected 10y public
subscription as n warning TO falSiiiers
and irrcvCrCnt persons, 10 commemo-
rate the tragic death of II woman who,
according 10 the inscription OH the
stone. WAS stricken dead as Il punish
ment for her blasphemy. The story. as
told among the country folk, is that
one OF the village women. becoming in
volvcd in dispute over money with II
merchant in the Corn Exchange called
on the Almighty, with "A fearful oath,
TO strike her dead IL her statement was
false. IA she left the market place on
her way home she fell dead upon the
spot whore the monument now stands,
her pcriurcd gains being aftcrward
found i'm her tightly clinChcd hand.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1907-03-15
HIGH GRADE TEAS.
Same That Never Get Beyond the
Bounosriss OF China.

"Many OF the highest grade Chinese
teas never leave the country-that Is,
are never exported in commercial guam
titles" says a writer. Tea specialists
in Europe and America manage 10 OBJ
tain specimens through corresponding
firms in Chinese export centers, but
these samples are not for sale. These
rare teas are preserved for occasional
comparison and testing with the gen
eral commercial teas. They are known
as 'unexportcd teas have known Of
only one person outside Of the tea pro-
ducing countries who supplies the
trade OF the general public with speci-
mems OF the rare teas His prices
range from s75 to 800 pound.
AS not even IN expert can safely
judge such tea by its appearance alone,
il is necessary 10 taste ii in the cup be
fore purchasing The vendcr can hard
ly AFFORD TO dispense this 800 tea gra-
tuitously, SO charge OF 81 To $3.50 a
cup is made, and as judiciously pre-
pared infusion allows the making OF
about 300 cups from pound OF tea
the profit from this tasting is almost
gigantic. On rare occasions exception
ally valuable teas sold at auction in
London have brought from 1925 to
$275 pound.
But these fancy teas-almost lit
orally worth their weight i'm gold-are
rarely seen by ordinary people. They
are preserved in sealed glass Jars In
the safes OF the tea specialists who
own them. Such exceptional teas are
worth the high valuation placed upon
thcIn."-Chicago News.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1907-03-15
Time TO Coupromise,

In Mcintosh county. Ga, there was
a lawsuit about "A cow. The COW was
dead. but the lawsuit went on. II was
decided by the Justice OF the peace, ap-
pcalcd. rcmanded. decided again and
once more appealed and remanded This
went on until the case came back TO
the squire for the eleventh time. II
was a jury case, and when the last
trial was on the squire astonished the
attorney hy announcing an indefinite
postponcmcnt, saying:
This case has exhausted the whole
jury venire Of the county, and you will
have to wait until the coming genera
tion gets old enough for jury duty"
Then the litigants compromised
New York Sun.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1907-03-15
The FIRST LIGHTHOUSE.
IL Was Built on the Island Of Pharos,
Near Alexandria,

NEAR bIeSancrid.
The first lighthouse ever erected for
the benefit Of the mariners was that
built by the famous architect Sos
tratus, by command Of Ptolemy Phlla-
delphus, king OF Egypt, between 2S5-
2i7 B. G. 1t was built near Alexandria
on an island called Pharos, and there
was expended upon 1t about so tai
ents, or over million dollars.
Ptoleny has been much commended
by some ancient writer's for his liberal
Ity in allowing the architect 10 inscribe
bis name Instead Of his own. The in
scription reads, "Sostratus, son Of Dex-
lphanes, to the protecting deities for
the use Of seafaring people" This tow
er was deemed one Of the seven won
ders of the world and was thought Of
builder.
II appears from Lucian, however,
that Ptolemy does not deserve any
praise for disinterestedness on this
score or Sostratus any great praise for
his honesty, as II is stated that the
latter, 10 engross in after times the
glory Of the structure, caused the In
scription with his own name to be
carved In the marble, which he after
ward covered with lime and thereon
put the kings name.
In process OF time the lime decayed,
and the inscription OH the marble alone
remninp1
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1907-03-15
Ercourauinq.

perhaps. doctor" said the sick man.
you'd better present your bill"
mo" replied the doctor. II don't
want to worry YOU with that now"
"Oh, we'll. II you think it's best
"Ycs. I'll send II in TO your executor
I'm good time. e."-Catholic Standard and
Times
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1907-03-15

The general public is Of the opinion that
his has been a great winter for the horse
shoer, but such is not the condition. We
have had considerable ice on the through
fares this winter, but it has not come in
lust the way suitable to the man that puts
on the corks. In order to make business
good for the horseshoer, the ice should come
aud 20 more often than it has this winter
and there should be a few bare spots now
and then to wear out the eorks. The ice
and snow have remained on the streets for
the pas, FIVE weeks withou, a break.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1907-03-15
The Chair.

Uncle visiting nephew at school on
prize giving dayl-How many voices
are there in your chapel choir? Neph-
ew-Ahout seven. Uncle-Why. l had
nm impression that II had forty or fifty
members. Nephcw--So IL has, but you
asked me how many volces.-Philadel-
mia Inuuirer.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1907-03-15
At the Breakfast Table.

"What lovely morning." said moth
or as she seated herself behind the
foffcc cups. And yesterday the
weather man prophesied rain!
Bobby (aged four)-The newspapers
don't always know what Gods going
to ~. do they. mammay - womau's
Home Companion.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1907-03-15
An Oversight.

"I.ook here" exclaimed the angry
man aS hc rushed into the real estate
agents office. that ground bought
from YOU yesterday is thirty feet under
water"
Pardon my oversight apologiZed
the Gcutlcnanly agent. I'VE give div
Ing suit with each plot will send
yours today. y."-Cardiff Times.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1907-03-15
His Definitions.

Faith" said Brother Williams, lis
de faculty what kin turn de song or
sawmill into de hallaluiah er de an
gels"
AN what Is hopeT'
Hope Is de faculty what keeps you
,ookin' fer something you never gits."
ATLANTA Constitution.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1907-03-15
Resentful.

Deacon - BY the way. that man
Brown you married year ago, has he
paid you your fee yet? Clergyman
No. The last time | reminded him OF
Il he said rd be fortunate IL he didn't
sue me for damages.-Boston Tran
script
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1907-03-15

The newest, largest, and possibly the
fastest ocean liner, which is to he bull, At
Belfast, Ireland, is to be called " George
Washington
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1907-03-15
The Tea Biseuits.

Miss Birdie Livingston taking her
first meal at the bride'sl-These tea
biscuits of yours are exquisite Ethel!
The Bride-Oh. I an so relieved To
have you say so was dreadfully
afraid I bad put too much tea into
them.-woman's Home Companion.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1907-03-15
Blessed Privilege.

Daughter-what do you ask of mel
That shall marry Mr.. Richhouse. that
old fooli Never. hate him! loathe
him. Mother-But. dear child. you can
tell him all that rs soon as you are
married 20 hlm.-Fliecende Blatter.