Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1907-05-10

Laughter is the sound we hear
when our hat blows off.
Strange but true-the more cuffs"
you give the laundryman, the be tier
he likes you.
You can't tell man nowadays by
his letter-heads, height of collar, nor
by the color of his shoes.
If man were really to discover
the North Pole his wife wouldn't let
him keep it in the house.
Iwould like to see John L. Wilson
carry Senator Ankeny's scalp at his
belt. Believe me, Wilson is liable to
do it, too.
If the battleship Nebraska-made
in Seattle-is not soon commissioned,
the United States Government will
be obliged to sell her for old junk.
There is more genuine joy in the
home over one talking machine just
bought, than over ninety and nine
brand new cOpper-bottom wash-boil-
erS.
The Morning Times says Gov. Mead
insulted the Odd Fellows in Seattle
by sluring remark as to their uni
form. Granting this as true, the
Governors insult" was peaches
and cream" beside the insult the edi-
tor of the Times has inflicted upon
country editors.
The restaurants in Seattle have
raised the price on all meat orders.
We expect to hear any moment that
the restaurant owners have begun
saving an inch off the chairs and
stools. Patrons will soon weary of
reaching upwards to cut, hammer
and saw the meat on their plates,
hence will not eat so much of it. The
meat thus saved can be used four
times before being dumped into the
garbage can.
Wanted-A friend who will recog-
nize me when am compelled to wear
patched pants, who will take my
hand as l am sliding down hill in
stead of giving me a kick to hasten
my descent, who will loan me a dol
lar without two dollars security, who
will come to me when 1 am sick, who
will take off his coat and fight for
me when the odds are two to one,
who will talk of me to my face as
behind my back. Such q friend is
wanted by ten thousand human be-
ings throughout this wide world.
A young woman at Tacoma loves a
street car conductor.
Papa says no.
Papa will take his daughter to
friends in Seattle.
Papa, brother and daughter jour-
ney to depot.
Lover and daughter converse.
Lover walks away girl drinks
carbolic acid-death in q few mo-
ments.
Papa will now call for the under
taker.
Papa cries.
Lover sighs.
And the same will happen to-mor-
row.
In an editorial, April q, headed,
The Strain on Capital" the P.-L.
says:
SLOWLY enough the country is be-
ginning to realize the pressing need of
conservatism in business operations be-
cause of the tremendous strain on capi-
fol innldnnf fn a v1apsnd of ,,nnpannlnnk
ed prosperity, high prices, and an ex-
From this it seems the Pr has
discovered in short meter, that it re-
quires money to buy extra amount of
white paper which it now prints in
issuing its daily, second section.
The P.-L, however, need not imag-
inc simply though it feels, perhaps,
the tremendous strain on capital,
that the country is beginning to rea-
lie the pressing need of conservatism
in business operations" on account
OF it using a larger amount of white
paper than ever before. Perhaps
l have misconstrued the point that
the editorial was intended to convey;
if so, l apologize. Anyway it is " an
extensive speculative movement"
when one must give an order for tons
of white paper, and cannot figure
exactly what the "come-backs,
waste" and sample copies will
average in weight.
r 4 4
In letter appearing in the STAND
ARD May 3, dated Los Angeles, CAL,
April %, signed by ]. G. Cog, 1 no.
tice the following:
"The old reliable STANDARD, always
q welcome visitor, arrives on time on
Tuesday of each week and it is like
meeting an old friend. Aside from the
reading OF the local news, / enjoy the
sketches of Lue Vernon. He, she or it.
is quite versatile but vigorous writer"
The He, She or 1t" is pleased, of
course, to learn the humble babblings
above the He, She or 1t" signature
has made such an impression in ]. C.
Co.'s think-tank.
The He, She or IT, has read q
number of the Cos articles appearing
in the STANDARD, and supposed he
was jefferson Democrat from soda
to hook" to use slang expression.
Yet, after reading a recent article
where he throws perfume from a
thousand viOlets," seemingly, ON
Teddy's administration the He,
She or 1t" is compelled to receive
Co.'s endorsement of the He, She
or 1t" articles published in the STAND
ARD, in the same manner the He, |
She or IT, does the sincerity of Co.'s
declarations of ofheretOfore Democratic |
principles-with grain of salt.