The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1907-01-19

now.
/ j. Pierpont Morgan has collected
5000. 900 worthsof Bobhie Burns mana
| scripts. would sign life contract
to write manuscript for MI Morgan
for that amount, don't care 10 Do
rich, anyhow
With 100000 ! could keep a COW
and raise my own eggs and live hap
PLY ever afterwards"
! III those men who are digging the
| Panama canal had been digging Dait.
| the project would have been complet
ed before SNOW flew.
| The greatest Ananias OF all time Ii
! the average tombstone.
! When a millionaire's stomach re-
fuses to work, the millionaire has 9TH
er things for which to be thankful
! When an editors stomach goes on
strike, he has lost his all
! CHRISTMAS.
| This sage advice | give 10 YOU,
1 Though You viii seorn TO need IL;
/ Buy Christmas presents now ana save
4 The riots that preeeda it'
Every man has his own life TO live
ana there is little Justice in growing
at ether people because he does not
! live ii right
! BUILDING SUBURBAN TOWNS.
! The average countryman would like
| to go to the city 10 live and of course,
the average city man knows he would
be happy II he lived in the country
| As a matter OF fact both are better on
where they are, but this isn't my
! funeral, and they may do as they
please, ii they can.
| But | do know something ahout how
| the suave and gentle land CRATER
works upon this unrest in man and
woman and entices them into his net
with ease and elegance. Take the
| city suburb builder, for instance. Out
on the bleak prairie lies 100 acres of
| lust fair land but the air that blows
over 1t is pure! That's the first
great consideration, for pure air. al.
/ WAYS reads we'll in an advertisement.
/ The land belongs to farmer. He
| may have lived there since Tige was
pup and he may love every foot Of
| that land, but he has been improyi-
/ dent, and there is a mortgage on the
| estate The suaye suburb builder
/ knows this and he keeps edglng up
| his paltry offer until come day when
! the farmers best red cow has
| strangled her self to death on ruta-
I baga and the price of oats Is down, he
| sells the acreage to the real estate
| dealer, and the fun begins.
| The purchaser takes the survey into
| his Office in a skyscraper downtown
and cuts it mp until it looks like log
cabin patch-quiit that mother used to
make. He draws imaginary roads
and electric lines through the plat,
/ gives each road high.sounding name.
/ dubs the whole thing Hazel Crest or
/ Paradise I'M" and begins to adver-
/ tise in the city papers something like
WHY BREATHE FOUL AIR?
GO TO THE COUNTRY;
/ FREE HOMES AT s. A WEEK.
1 BUY AN ACRE TO-DAY AND SELL
/ IT NEXT YEAR FOR TEN TINES
THE BUYING PRICE ACRE
PLOTS FOR $500.
/ A HOME FOR EVERYBODY AND
PLENTY OF ROOM TO RAISE
CHICKENS
The tired. smoke-ridden people read
these advertisements and the husband
mentions the matter to his wife. She
believes the country is much better
place for the children. and In mo
ment Of weakness they visit Paradise
HiIl' and buy two acres and per
feetly new house built by Mr.. Real
Estate Man They have only $500, but
the agent gives them a contract and
as happy as birds in June, they tear
up. move away into the country two
miles from the suburban station and
begin to enjoy country life.
car fare the first month. walked -four
miles a day TO transportation, dis
covered that the house is mere shell
and that the furnace wont work, he
begins to have his doub,s about the
ideal country life for city man. bat
he buys some chickens and decides Il
make the best Of il. Then wease
gets the fowls and spolls an invest
ment of s4s7 for chicken feed. There
Is no gas In the house, the cess poo
freezes and the plumbing won't work
His wife gets the blues because sh'
has no neighbors and It costs to'
much to run into tie city every two
or three DAYS to see her friends. Th'
baby contracts the Group and dies be
fore father can get to town and bdcl
with a doctor The garden peters Oh
and the suburb refuses to sub In
stead Of q thriving little village gro"
ing up about him, the few resident
move further away and there remain
b,,f a dozen smokers ulanted hopeless