davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1907-08-11
sCoRCHING AT MEALS.

Lawrence Mott. author and automo-
bilist. condemned scOrching at a dinner
II condemn" he said, "scOrchinR and
the scorchcr, but I don't condemn the
scorcher unheard ] don't condemn the
accused man hastily Hasty condemna-
ton is always a mistake
"Dnce on a Canadian railway I goi
OF the train for n flVe-minute luncheon
at a railway eating bar.
There was a man beside me gobbline
away and when he finished I heard him
say bitterly, as he took out his purse:
" Call that a ham sandwich It's the
worst ham sandwich I ever ate Nc
more than sawdust. and so small you
could hardly see it
we've ct yer ticket said the waiter
This here's yer ham sandwich -
Philadelphia Bulletin.
The Washington times., 1907-08-11
THE QUESTION OF HAPPINESS.

What is Happiness? Is It Pleasure?
And, If so. what is Pleasure? Aristotle
gave us a definition of Pleasure, or,
rather. perhaps a description, since the
logicians say that you cannot define an
ultimate fact which has not been much
improved upon. 1t is not, however, psy-
Geological definitions that need concern
Us, but. rather. that question which oc-
cupied the English Unitarian school
seventy years ago. whether the pleas
ures taken in the aggregate as cOnsti-
tuung Happiness are 10 be subjected TO
a qualitative as we'll as a Quantitative
anlysis. Shall we measure them by the
intensity by which they are felt or by
the hneness and elevation of the feeling
10 which they appeal? Is the satisfac-
ton which Pericles felt in watching the
performance Of a drama OF SOphOcles
at an Athenian festival greater or less
than the satisfaction which one of his
slaves felt in draining a jar of Wine?-
Hon, James Bryce, In the August At
lantic
The Washington times., 1907-08-11

! al this Office. but II you become a men,
Der Of our club we viii request her to
send you a larger and more satisfactory
one.
Poor Dear Is Lonesome
"She informs us that she Is lonesome
and wants n good. moral. and upright
man. She wants to marry as soon as
the proper arrangements can be made,
50 that her husband can help her with
the business worries in managing her
business.
'-She IS handsome with a very affec-
tionate and loving disposition, but the
inclosed photograph Of her speaks for
itself ana you can form a better idea
Of her general appearance than we could
give you in a letter.
Remit S., Please.
'She advised US. when We submitted
your letter 70 her for her approval. that
she expected 10 visit your locality
shortly, so II you wish 70 be intro
duced and desire personal acquaint-
ance with the lady iii out the descrIp-
uon blank on the other side omitting
answers 70 questions that are objec-
[ uonable, and return same 10 Us with
our Zee, &-posltively our only charge
and we viii al once forward YOU the
desired Information.
We are positive that YOU win be well
pIeased with our way Of doing business.
as we arrange personal meeting. with
out any cost 70 you. and should she
sun you' as we have every reason In
lne word 20 believe. We will then bs
abe 70 find her a husband AT once.
But slter meeting the aforesaid lady.
should such not be the case. and --or,
cannot come 70 a satisfactory agree
nent. we have a great many wealthy
lady members Of all natIonaIities. ages.
and descriptions, who have ioiued our
cruz 10 hnd them suitable husbands.
We viii continue introducing you with
out further charge until we have found
Tor you a suitable wife. agreeing that
she shall be one who Will I'll your every
want We have fun information con-
I corning these ladies and know exactly
what their preferences are. and We
know positively that we can suit YOU
! PERSONALLY"
No Wonder Thousands Came.
! With such charming and sweeping
/ offer before them, II IS no wonder mar
thousands tried their matrimonial luck.
say the officials Of the Postoffice De-
p2rtment
But claim the officials who made the
investigation, the awakening was sad
/ 10 contemplate Some Of the wealthy
7 ladies' turned out 10 be people with no
/ money whatever, some OF them were
/ QOmesrcs. while one that had been
prought into the game was A poor work
' ing widow with two children.
Alas. for the vanities OF life. and "a
I not such the sad end of all who pursue
riches IN any but the regulation way?
The Washington times., 1907-08-11


pany and $4,000 for the Washington
company.
Therefore, their bills. which viii be
sent tomorrow viii total for the re-
sDective companies about S5,24S24 and
$50, 7m-ol, whereas last year they were
only S1.2oo.62 and S24.7O1.OI.
The assessors explain that the great
Increase in assessment is due in a large
measure 10 their having taken into con-
sideration the service pipes. which lead
from the mains 20 the meters and lamp
posts These. they say, were said not 10
De owned by the companies, but when
the Georgetown Gas Light COMPANY
figured them in among their assets in
the evidence relating 10 the actual cash
value or their plant, thes assessors esti-
mated the value Of these In addition
and included it.
The Georgetown cOmpany's expert in
the hearing before Auditor Payne esti-
mated the value of these service pipes
alone AT S4f.526, the consumers services
at Sl6 each, and lamp-post service at so.
Loss Reaches Big Sum.
What the District of Columbia has
lost in taxes on the real estate Of the
two gas companies by undervaluation
! is difficult 10 determine. The law al
lows the collection OF additional taxes.
as in this case, for not more than three
years back II the last two years taxes
on the new basis were not 10 be col
lected, the District would lose in that
time S32. .6s5.0S. What IL might have
been for period say Of ten years can
hardly be fairly estimated, but would
evidently amount to a considerable sum.
It is not anticipated that the gas
/ companies Will take an appeal from this
action OF the assessors, for the reason
that one Of them is now endeavoring to
show in court that its plant Is worth
more than twice as much as its value
would be- II based on the estimates OF
the District assessors, and II IS under
stood that the other company viii also
endeavor TO show a high valuation.
The Washington times., 1907-08-11

ever going on since The strike order was
issued are:
Cassidy & Co
EIks Hall.
GOnzaga Hall.
St CypTian's School
St AIMS Academy.
Sacred Heart RectCry.
Richardson & Burgess
Capital Traction Company's substation.
Buildings struck saturday:
Paper MILL Georgetown.
capital Traction Company's substation.
Total number of buildings struck. fir-
teen.
The Washington times., 1907-08-11
A STORY OF MAINE HAY LANDS.

Because OF an Unplugged gap OF less
than thirty feet in width. 400 acres q
the finest hay II nd IN Washington coun-
" is rendered valueless- The story OF
how railroad engineers and other engi-
neers have grappled with that gap IS
interesting not 10 say graphic. The
fight. which has now been given up
has cost the railroad company moro
than S1OOW In money, and three lives
have been lost over forty years ago
men owning land along Middle river.
realizing that some Of the best hay
fields OF the section were inundated by
the waters OF the river. decided TO build
dyke across the mouth OF the river at
its junction with the Machias river. .The
necessary money was raised and the
work begun IL is estimated thar the
loss 10 the farmers OF Machias will be
800 a year Once S25 would have mend
ed the gan.
The Washington times., 1907-08-11
EAR--.Y BASEBALL TEAMS.

Baseball teams existed as early az
1S45, but the first league was formed
in 1857, when the National Association
of Baseball Players was organized.
rms, as the title implies, was an or
ganization Of players: in fact. of anna
teur players. They did not remain true
amateurs for long, however and in
1871 baseball was placed squareIy on a
into existence the. National Association
Of Professional Baseball Players II
will be noted4 that the players still
governed thc sport, and they continued
TO do so until 1875. 1t was in this
period KIat there grew UP the great
abuses which menaced the very life OF
baseball, namely, gambling and the
buying and selling Of games. In 1876
the players were deposed from the
government of professional baseball,
and they have never since controlled
the game.-Henry Beach Needham, in
Succe ss Magazine.
The Washington times., 1907-08-11

and always has some new plan to make
money. He is leader of the boys Of
his neighborhood when II comes to some
scheme 20 lure the golden shekels from
some source into the pockets OF the boys.
He Is the Pierpont Morgan, Henry
Clay Frick. John d. Rockefeller. and
Andrew Carr egie of the boys all rolled
into one mir5 of humanity. Among
other things, he receives pennies from
his playmates and pays a small interest
In the way Of candy, popcorn, and pen
nies. He IS a merchant In a small way,
selling lemonade. popcorn. and peanuts
from a soap box store on the curb when
the weather IS hot.
y few days ago he broke away from
that slow business and devised a scheme
that caused a run on HIS bank. but
which placed all the deposits into MS
pockets. He started a show. which he
called He Eats En- Alive, His pa
irons were numerous and mostly de-
positors In his savings bank. He was
the star and only performer in the
show, and here is what he did for a
price before the admiring crowd of small
depositors who withdrew their funds 10
pay the fe TO Sc him perform the won
ders:
Eating one big fishing worm, 2 cents:
eating one spoonful Of sand, l cent
eating A butterfly, cents, and to cap
the climax ne would eat one big cater
pillar for 5 cents When the show was
over this Napoleon Of Finance had all
the money and the audience had had all
the fun.
The Washington times., 1907-08-11
A Consumers Tariff.

Henry NJ. Whitney bases his can
didacy for nomination to be gov
ernor of Massachusetts chiefly upon
a platform of tariff reform, To de-
fine his views, he proposes that only
the duties on wine, spirits and to-
bacco shall be left unchanged; that
the duty on every article not on
the free list shall be reduced; and
that the free list shall be extended
to include these items and eliminate
the following contributions to the
surplus:
The Washington times., 1907-08-11
RATTLESNAKE BITE
CURES WOMANS CANCER

A remarkable cure Of cancer has been
effected on Mrs. Wilhelmina Ledwis, a
farmers wife.
Mrs Ledwig has suffered Of cancer on
the left leg, just above the knee, for a
Ions time.
While out picking huckleberries two
weeks ago she was bitten on the ankle
by a rattlesnake- Her nephew, Karl
LedWig. came TO her assistance and kill
ed three rattlesnakeS-
The Woman's leg had swelled to an
enorm nus size. but the swelling did not
go above the cancer. The cancer, which
had always had the appearance Of ink
fringed with red, turned into a running
sore.
It re NAMED In this condition FOR four
days.
on the fourth day the discharge stop
ped and proud flesh began to make its
appearance The snake poison had
worked all through the cancer, the
sw elIlng disappeared and the heretofore
ugiy-loOking sore was healed-ChicagO
Intcr-OCeaT.
The Washington times., 1907-08-11
Each Will Be Named Mrs.
Badger Few Weeks
Hence.
There VIII Be a Double
Wedding and Both
Are Happy.

PITTSBURG. Pa, Aug. 10.-"I'm go
ing to quit posing The Bath, and those
ether pictures, and"
On, / see" chimed in the model of
Harmony" and pose the beautiful
bIushing BRIDE she added Il see, !
see"
We'll what 90 you sce?" demanded
the model of THE Bath
THAT you're going to get married, OF
course"
well. Grace Kingsley, it's all your
fault; but I'm happy, anyway; and now
all you've got to 'fess up, too"
And then the models Of The Bath
and Harmony" two pretty members OF
The Washington times., 1907-08-11

the London Model troupe. who have been
posing living reproductions Of famous
paintings at the Nixon during the past
two weeks. both confessed-there'u be
a double wedding when the season OF
the troupe ends at Newport > few weeks
hence.
There IS a possibility, too, that Grace
Kingsley, the model Of Harmony" and
Lilv Devenney. the model of The
Bath" will both return to Pittsburg 20
Beside, the former as Mrs. John Badger
and the latter as Mrs L. N Badger.
The Washington times., 1907-08-11

Food, clothing, building materials,
books, and art would thus be made
substantially cheaper to every con-
sumer. II is a fine istAand good
politics. The one objection to the
table from a Democratic standpoint
is that Mr.. Whitney has included
sugar in his free list.
Even there-though the Gulf
States stand in their cane patches
and howl-there is more political
capital in abolishing the duty than
ever there could be in reducing it
merely. Once before-when Mr..
German dominated the Senate-the
cause Of tariff from the consumers
The Washington times., 1907-08-11
WHY HE LOST INTEREST.

Size was pretty and the drug clerk
was GLAD to sell her n stamp.
Also to weigh her letter.
Also to lick the stamp and afix 1t 20
the envelope.
Put IT on upside down, please she
simpered- THAT means something to
Charlie
Then the drug clerk lost interest
Piushurc Pest
The Washington times., 1907-08-11
SoUARING HIMSELF.

MY husband has given me the SO
bonnet ] wanted. said Mrs. Galley.
THE idea" exclaimed Mrs CheIlus
Hes awfully indulgent after he's been
indulging. He didn't get home until 3
o'clock this morning. The Catholic
Standard and Times.
The Washington times., 1907-08-11

point of view was sacrificed to
sugar. If there is any whit of sa-
gacity left in the party of jefferson,
Tilden, and Cleveland, the sacrifice
will not be made again.
The Washington times., 1907-08-11
Girl Posing The Bath
And Harmony Model
Get Rich PittsbuT8ers
Cute to Capture
Rtcb PHhtsburqer

Kind of cute, isn't it, that after
all the talk there was in Pitts
burg about The Bath the girl
who returns and braves the
critics by posing the picture
should be rewarded by getting a
Pittsburger-a wealthy Pitts
burger-for husband?'-LiIy
Devenney.
The Washington times., 1907-08-11

association urges upon the Employers
Association Of the Building Trades Of
the District Of Columbia that IL main
tain 20 the end It's stand for the inde-
pcndence Of its members and the welfare
Of the building industry. and this assO-
clarion pledges itself 10 render any
practical assistance in its power 10 its
sister association whenever II may be
requested
Railroad Stations Picketed.
Late last night IL was announced by
labor leaders that they have pickets
posted at the railroad stations TO see who
come in on all trains. and it was inti-
mated that committees will meet all
trains after tomorrow morning at some
up-rOod point, forty or fifty miles out Of
Washington. TO try and induce incom-
ing strikebreakers 10 refuse 10 work
after they get here.
A labor leader said last night that the
claim Of the Employers Association that
they had all the men booked that they
needed was an empty one. as the asso-
citation was advertising all over the
country for skilled mechanics in the
building trades.
Bricklayers' Union. No. !. has elect
ed these officers President. W II.
MCGuiTi; vice president, Thomas Levey,
corresponding secretary, J. Bronshan;
financial secretary, John Kennedy: re-
cording secretary, W H Shook; treas
Urer. W. II. Goddard. business agent.
William CrOnon; financial committee
f X Miller. J. Murtaugh, d. Nc
Mahon, II. Hurley. Executive commit
tee. William Cronon. D Donovan. J.
Graham ana James French
BUILDINGS Affected.
The following is a complete list Of
the buildings affected thus far, accord
ing to the Employers Association:
S. ]. Prescott Company, contractors
Academy OF Music. thirty-five carpsn-
ters and two bricklayers.
Y NJ. c. A. 'remOdeling. four carpen-
ters and two bricklayers.
BUILDING at 313 Seventh street north
west, two carpenters.
Richardson & Burgess. contractor
Reform School, Langdon. six carpen-
ters. fifteen bricklayers. and one stone
mason.
Building at Fourteenth and V north
west. Capital Traction Company's sub
station-One carpenter.
W. c. Spier Company, contractors
Cassidy & Co, contractors
Building at First and B northwest.
Building at 1S25 G street, sixteen car
penters-
Cassidy & Co. contractors
Elks' Temple, seventeen carpenters and
bricklayers.
Gonzaga Hall, nine carpenters, one
bricklayer, ten painters.
St. Cyprian's School, eight carpenters.
St. AIMS Academy, two carpenters
and one bricklayer-
Rectory of Sacred Heart Church. five
carpenters,
Richardson & Burgess:
Metropolitan Club, six carpenters and
two brlcklaycrs.
American Bank Building CThe Sun
BuiIding). two carpenters, four brick
layers.
Paper mil. Georgetown. six carpen-
ters.
In addition 10 these twenty-four eIee-
trical workers scattered on various Jobs
all over the city, the location Of which
could not be given either ~ the labor
leaders or members Of the Employers
Association. We're ordered 10 quit work
for the National Electrical Company,
found TO have been working nonunlCn
men.
This shows 119 carpenters struck, q
bricklayers. l stonemason, and 10 paint
ers. or a total of ISL men.
Buildings tied up with no work what
The Washington times., 1907-08-11
THE SAINTS THAT HAVE NO DAY

=
With golden letters set in brave array
Throughout the church's record Of the
year.
The great names OF historic saints
appear.
Those ringing names that. as q trumpet.
play
Uplifting music Ger a sordid way,
And sound high courage to our earth
dulled ear;
But, underneath those strains. I seem
TO hear
The silence Of the saints that have no
day.
Martyrs, blood-red. and trodden souls,
care-Bray,
In hierarchal pride no place they
boast:
No candles burn for them where pill
grims pray,
No haIoes crown their dim and count
less host;
And yet-the Ieaven Of their humble
sway
Unrecognized, unguessed avails the
most.
Katherine Perry. IN The Reader.
The Washington times., 1907-08-11

The saloon men will hardly kick on
the 1ntimation OF the excise board that
you need not quit the saloons before 70
o'clock midnight but that's not saying
anything about the excise board 1t
home
The Washington times., 1907-08-11

~ ASSlNG Dy an itdll0L DalDeF
- shop recently I noticed an Ital-
ian youngster of about two years
playing about the doorway. I
patted the little fellow on the head and
said something TO him in English. His
father shook his head and said:
lie no talka Eenglesh yet
WHY IS that2" ! asked, do you
teach him Italian hrst?"
Sure" ne said. with an Cnlightening
smile. Il teacha heem italian now. he
learn Eenglesh later. II I teacha heem
Eenglcsh first, he never learn taIka
Italian"
And then he explained 10 me. with
much gusto. that he knew OF several
Italian youngsters whose parents had
neglected this precauti7n OF teaching
the mother tongue first and who after
having learned English. seemed utterly
unable 10 master Italian. He further
explained that his boy could learn Eng
Hsh in after years while playing with
English-speaking children.
I had never thought about IL in this
way, but the reasoning is a logical one,
for my barber friend deplOred greatly
the peculiar state OF affairs in which
his countrymeu now found their or
spring.
They italian all right. he said, but
The Washington times., 1907-08-11

7 T l. was from southern Alabama
~ and seemed just a plain, Ordi-
nary tourist who wanted to take
it all in. Tired out. ne had
dropped into nearby restaurant and
was casually examining the bill Of fare.
Suddenly his face frightened. Here was
something homelike. The menu said
Sliced watermelon, 10 cents"
The Alabaman soon had the custom
airy tWo-by-four lunch counter slice be-
fore HIM. He mumbled something about
the instaiment plan, but the waiter
needed not. A moment later the red
juicy meat had vanished.
Say, bring me ther balance will yer,
waituh." he called.
What is that, sir?' asked the suave
gentleman behind the apron.
Il say, bring me ther balance of my
melon. An bring it all, not jus a slice
at time" smiled the Alabaman.
The polite waiter explained that the
gentleman was doubtless laboring under
delusion as TO what was coming to
him. The man from the watermelon
country was told that he had already
consumed his portion, unless forsooth,
he desired to pay another 10 cents for
each slice he cared 20 put away.
wal, for the lans sake" he re-
Joined as ne reached FOR his hat. i've
been to Montgomery, Ala, Atlanta, Ga,
and now TO Washington. but this is the
fust time in my life I've ever paid 10
cents for one measley slice Of water
melon That there slice you give ME
would be considered er insult down In
Gods country. Eff ! hadn't thought you
meant the whole melon I'd never come
In here"
Say. mister" he said in conclusion.
Jus you give me yOTe address and I'll
SEN you a melon such as we all sell
fer a dime down in ole Alabam.' And
with a disgusted look, he ambled out.
The Washington times., 1907-08-11

In view of the closing Of Canton's
opium dens. we know Of certain civil
lied municipal governments that might
travel and learn.
The Washington times., 1907-08-11
HAVE THE TINES MAILED TO YOU

Persons leaving washington for the summer
can have The Times mailed to them at the
same rate as paid for delivery IN the city.
viz 6 cents a week for the daily edition, or
IL cents for the daily and Sunday editions
All mail subscriptions are Invariably payable
desired.
SUNDAY. AUGUST II. 1907.
The Washington times., 1907-08-11

II the women ever decide that the
tarif had anything TO do with increas-
ing the cost OF white cotton, No. So
the Republican party Is doomed.
The Washington times., 1907-08-11

The Commissioners are getting tired
OF trying to assess benefits and dam
ages for the opening of minor streets
according to the sixteen puzzle
The Washington times., 1907-08-11

the United States who 20 on
any tours at all. 1t is also a great place
Tor those, who, having been married
several years and having accumulated
something OF this worlds goods. desire
TO see more Of the world. Standing on
the streets a few days ago a striking
example Of the peculiar relations exist
Ing between the newly married and
those Of wider experience in the matrl-
lqonial life was vividly brought 10 mind.
They had been married probably ten
years.
1 am completely exhausted and don't
Intend 20 walk another step" said the
woman. 4 have seen quite enough OF
this town. and am going 70 leave here
on the first train"
But, dear. there are just a few more
points Of interest that I would like to
see. II you cont mind" said the hen
pecked looking man.
Well, do mind, and I am going"
and with that she strobe up the Ave
nue. and he followed meekly behind.
The other pair had been married prob
ably ten days
Dearest, Is there any place that you
woIld ike 10 see frst2' he said, with
the love light still In his eyes.
Just any where you want TO go will
suit me exactly. dear" she said look
ing up into his eyes and smiling
But IL is you, and you only, I want
70 please. But havr't you some pref
erence, some
And I passed on before the CASTOR
Alphonse act mad been completed
The Washington times., 1907-08-11

Maybe you might get a change of
scene by going to church