The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1907-08-24

the farm produce
When a farmer comes to town he IL
always on the lookout for some labor
saving NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. which
will save him from walking or using
his arms. He wants the horses to ID
the pulling. and he the riding and
guiding. Here are a couple of in
stances of inconsiderate treatment Of
farmers wives:
Last week Rufe Chambers, a north
Pembroke farmer marketed a car Of
hogs. He took home a manure spread
er costing 1926 for himself. and a
small bunch of bananas for his wife.
Last Christmas Hank Henderson. a
rancher living south OF Hopkins bought
a hammerless shotgun for himself For
his wife's Christmas present he bought
clothes wrtnger
But townsmen are equally disregard
full Of their wives as farmers. Re
Gently Mrs. Billion Blades begged her
husband for money TO buy a feather
boa, which had been marked down
from $40 to $499. at least so the win
dow plaeard stated. Mr.. Blades
wouldn't stand for such extravaganza,
but few days thereafter he bought
himself new ostrich feather costing
So for his Knight Templar chapeau.
Another Sparkling Poem.
Miss Lucinda Hop, our gifted poet
ess. composer OF The Mortgaged Mule
With the Contralto Voice." and The
Black Hen Laid White Egg" is
writing another poem with a unique
title-"The Beaded Lady and the
Green Apple"
Up 10 date Miss Hopp has written
seventeen verses on this charming
theme, all in sparkling rhyme. If it
wasn't so long she would have the
poem set to music.
Brains N0n-essentiaI.
In speaking of the recent reception
given by Mrs. Angora Katz, the Hay
Press said that there was some criti-
cism of the hostess because she wore
more striking costume than her
guests. We gave as a reason: THAT
it embarrasses the guests If they are
outshone in dress by their hostess
1t don't embarrass them much If they
are outshown in intellect, for the lat
ter don't count for much at receptions"
Mrs. Bitten OF 81 Terrace court
writes the Hay Press in protest of the
above. She asserts that brains do fig
+
so much as at other female gatherings.
Now. Mrs. Bitten we don't want to
disa gree with you in cold type, but in
proof of our contention we will quote
your husband, Bill Bitten, who is a
hard headed and sensible man. Bill
says: when my wife got home from
the Katz reception she gushed over
what was worn and eaten. but was
/ h.
tween the two I was more interested
in the grub proposition than in the
description of womens dresses"
The Hay Press editors wife has at
tended many receptions but in describ-
ing them she has never told us about
anything said which was worth print
ing. Her descriptions were all about
dresses, refreshments, decorations
color schemes" and the like.
Prefers Earth to Heaven.
Rev. William futile, pastor of the
Zion church, had a severe attack OF
collie Tuesday He was afraid that he
was going to die, and hurriedly sent
for DR.. Bill Blowkey, our skilled vet
Urinary surgeon, who is famous for his
handling of colicky cases, both in the
human and animal kingdom.
On Sunday Rev. Tuttle preached {
picturesque sermon on heaven. AL
though he has never been there, ye
he pictured it's pearly gates and COLDER
| streets glowing and infinitely, being
particularly exact on its measure
ments and boundaries. But like mos
ministers he is very reluctant to trade
earth for heaven, for he is the frs
to send for a doctor when he's sick
He don't want TO die and go to The
Kingdom Come he so rapturously de
scribes, at least, he is in no rush abou
it.
Disagreed on BaptismaI Rites.
| LATE Lydecker and Rusty Riddle haC
a lively argument in Watsons store
this week on the merits of partial OF
| total immersion in the soul saving
line Lafe, who is a Methodist, con
tended that sprinkling was just as eff
fective as dipping, If the parson utter
ed the right lamentations. Rusty, wh'
is a Baptist, argued that total INNER
sion was the only effective mode o
baptism; that a thorough sousing wa
lust as essential as the minister's for
mula.
The discussion degenerated into &C
rimony, and from acrimony into hsti
cuffs, and worse The climax cam
when LATE advised Rusty to be rebap
tized. both for his sins and for hyge
mic purposes.
This vile slur about his needing
bath angered Rusty. He struck LATE
savage blow in the face, which daze
him. and then kicked him in the aldo
men, which winded him.
Lafe lay on the floor gasping 70
breath. Rusty supposed that the ques
ton was settled and total immersiol
had triumphed. Unfortunately for hin
and while he had his back turned ex
planning to the spectators some point
he had overlooked in the dispute, Laf
revived. Selling an iron nail pulle
he dealt Rusty a hard blow on tn
head. cutting a deep cash, from whic
blood flowed freely
This ended the ecclesiastical join
debate, but not its legal consequence:
for the law of the great state Of Hi
nois had been infringed.
When Justice Golding fined both re