davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02
Not 10 Be Fooled.

A resident of a New England town
no was noted for his great kindness
% animals viewed the first horse cars
vith dismay Its sheer cruelty, that's
what II is" he insisted, and the plea
# convenience or necessity had no In
auence upon him.
I'D walk to Boston and back before
I'd add Il pounds weight TO what those
poor creatures have to drag he de
clared, and no persuasion could induce
him 10 ride in n street car dragged by
overworked, tired horses. When elec
trlcity was applied and the cars went
smoothly along without the horses, his
son said:
Now, father, you can ride on the
street cars without worrying about
horses. You can go into Boston al
your ease now"
James" said the old man, you al
ways rush at conclusions. You don,
study into things as do. Don't | read
In the papers about every car having
10 have so much horsepower? And
don't | know we'll enough what that
meansY And the old gentleman sigh
ed. 1T simply means, my son, that
the poor horses are being worked just
as hard and just as many hours, only
we don't see 'em.
Those power houses could tell tales
reckon. No, I've no more use FOL
street cars now than | ever had, and
for the same reason."-Youth's Com
panlOn.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02
His Impression.

Mr.. White-Tell me, Uncle Rufus,
how did you feel when that savage
catamount jumped on your back as you
were cOIuing through the woods In the
dark and began to claw and rend your
Uncle Rufus Rank-Uh, well, sab, tell
yo' what's fact, thankee-I lowed
'twuz muh Wife YO' see, was uh-
gittin' home dess little bit antiquated
fun de lodge o. de Cullud Knights and
Shiyvyleers. and muh nach1 spicion
was dat de lady had got tired o
waitin' and come 10 meet me. III 10
organized dat 'twuz Il catamount dat
had me by de back. I regSin I'd uh'
ben skeered plumb to death; but.
thinkin' 10 muhse'f dat 'twuz nobody
but muh wife. dess breshed de var
mint aside. accawdin' 10 muh CUSTOM
and come uh-bogin' along home. happy
In muh ignunce.-Puck.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02
Greater Than the Nation.

There Is 4 certain congressman VINO
whatever authority he may hold III
the councils OF state, Is OF compara
lively minor importance in his own
household. Indeed. 1t has been un
kindly lntimated that his wife Is the
whole thing" In their establishment
Representative and Mrs. Blank had
been 10 Baltimore one afternoon
When they left the train at Washing
ton on their return Mrs. Blank dis
covered that her umbrella. which had
been intrusted 10 the care OF her hus
band, was missing.
"Where's my umbrella| she de
manded.
"Tm afraid I've forgotten IT, my
dear" mcekly answered the congress
man. 1t must still be in the tram.
In the train" snorted the lady
and = think that the affairs OF the
nation are intrusted to a man who
doesn't know enough to take care or
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02

Other nations besides England have
fought under the banner Of St George,
and other knightly orders as well as
that of the Garter have been instituted
IN his honor. He was the guardian saint
.9f Sicily. AragOn Valencia, Genoa, Nal
20 and Barcelona Venetian order OF
st. George was created in 200, n
Spanish in 1871. an Austrian iel41O, a
Cicnoese In 1472 and Roman In lI92.
More modern orders bearing his name
are those Of Bavaria Q720), Russia
Q760 and Hanover QS30. The device
Of 81. GeoGge Staying the dragon forms
part of the arms Of the czar and ap-
pears on several Russian Cens. The
conjecture that this was owing TO the
presentation Of the Garter by Eliza
beth 10 Ivan Vassilievitch has no foun-
dation in fact. for Chanceler, the hrst
outspoken Englishman TO visit Russia,
speaks of'a dispatch sent In 1304 from
Ivan VassilievitCh TO Queen Mary, the
seal of which "was much like the
broad seal Of England having on the
one side the image OF a man on horse
back In complete harness fighting Win
n n.''-INndon Chronicle.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02
Greenland Whales.

The great Greenland whale has no
teeth. its baleen plates, or whaiebon'
taking their place. Along the center o:
the palate runs strong ridge, anu Oh
each side Of this there Is n wide &c
preston along which the plates are IN
serted. These are long and fat, hanG
ing free. and are placed across the
mouth with their sides parallel and
near each other. The base and outer
edge of the plates are Of solid whale
bone, but the inner edges are fringed,
filling UP the interior OF the mouth and
acting as n strainer for the food, which
consists OF the small swimming mol
lusks and medusae or jellytish.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02
Rarber's Hair Cut

wished | had time TO go out and get
nv hair cut" remarked barber as he
removed part of the lather from the
customers lips with his second finger.
Time to go out and get II cutT re-
peated the man In the chair, with the
emphasis on "out." Are you like the
man that won't eat In his own restau-
rantf Aren't you willing to trust one
of your own men to cut your halrT
"Oh. I'd trust them, oil rightF' said
the barber. 1T isn't that, but you
hardly ever see a barber getting his
hair cut In his own place. The other
BARRIERS all like to go home promptly
at quitting time, and II one OF US gets
work done during the day there Is sure
TO be rush about that time. and II
makes a customer sore II he has to
wait with two BARRIERS right here and
not waiting on him. He doesn't like to
walt around while one barber cuts an
other BARRIERS halr."-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02

"DO l Snore:" said the fat CONNER
,ial drummer Il should say so. That's
Why | can't Use an alarm clock. | can't
near 'er. My snore browns the best of
en-. And. speaking Of the force Of
habit put up once ut crowded
country hotel where haG to double up
with aI acquaintance. | told him
SnOred 4 few, but he didn't mind. he
said because his wife was a star in
that line. and he had a system 70
beat it.
"Tn just tap you on the shoulder
every time you begin TO snore, he ex-
planned 'Thatll stop you without
waking you. and after little III drop
of myself
1t worked like q charm. ! felt his
taps for q time but finally off | went
on a dream Of $1,000 salary and 10
Der cent commission. Well, sir, when
awoke in the morning there was that
chap tapping away at my shoulder reg
ular as clockwork, and he sound asleep.
Been at il all night, don't you seeE
Force Of habit"
Ald be bcamed !ndulgently on the
slleut party.-New York Globe
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02
How TO Become an Artist.

Holman Hunt began his art labors
when at the age of four he cut off a
lock OF his own hair 10 make n paint
brush. 1t is rather a serious matter
for the young artist rightly to choose
some picturesque and as far as pOssi-
bic inadequate means OF beginning his
career We MI know the story Of Ben
Iamln West and the cats tail. Allston,
being cOlorist. Is supposed TO have
squeezed the luscious hues from flow
ers to make his paints. AS there are
probably many young artists contem-
plating a career. why not suggest a
few new ways Of beginning?
Make n brush from pOppe"'s shaving
brush. from mummer's halrbrush, from
uncle's chin whiskers, from aunties
false front.
No doubt the reason there are few
great artists nowadays is that 1t IS so
hard to avoid ready made paint brushes.
They are thrust upon children In the
public schools. How can we hope for
a BENJAMIN West with brushes n drug
on the market Phillip L. Hale In Bos-
ton Herald.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02
a New Phase of BioloqY.

A widow recently came from Albany
to live with relatives I'm Brooklyn. Hel
new neighbors discovered that she was
dven 10 romancing about small mat
.crs. on her own behalf she claime'
20 take the poetic view OF life. Bui
me Of her nclghbOrs was inclined e
use a shorter and more ugly word
IL describing the trait. Among othc:
things the woman from Albany statc'
hat her late husband Was biologis
In the states service, presumably
Albany. Later on II WIS learned tha
he really had been in the states scry
ice. doing time at Sing Sing for small
forgery.
\ professors wife came to the res
cue. biologist Is the poetic term. all
right" she said. MY husband tells
me n biologist IS a student Of cell
life Brooklyn Eagle.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02
nueIinn In Old Creole Days.

When dueling was an actual factor
IN the social order OF this country, II
had many worthy and notable expo
nents. including no less distinguished
personages than Henry Clay, Andrew
jackson. Alexander Hamilton, De witt
Clinton. Stephen Decatur and others OF
the same type, but nowhere on this
continent was II so much an establish
O., Institution as In that peculiarly ro-
mantle old city OF New Orleans. II
was woven into the very fabric OF the
life of the community, and many u
crumbllng tombstone In the antiquated
creole cemeteries bears grim and 81
lent witness 70 the fact, though 10 un-
derstand the situation more clearly one
should breathe. so TO speak. the atmos-
phere of the period.-LOuis j. Meader
In Century.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02
a Fish Story.

The latest fish story concerns the
herring and sea gull. and It comes
from Nanaimo. \ boat load of herring
containing about fifteen tons, was lef'
M Johnston's wharf. Nanaimo. during
the noon hour while the fishermen
went 20 dinner. During their absence
several thousand sea gulls-the chron'
icler saws 10000 ate all the tish on one
side of the boat with such good results
that they emptied 1t, and when the last
herring had been removed from thai
side II was like the last straw thai
broke the camel's back, for the boat
with all the weight on the other side
upset. spilllng all the remaining nsh
into the water Shanghai Mercury.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02
The Mystery Of Death.

oh, death, how bitter Is the thought
Of thee How speedy thy approach.
How stealthy thy steps! How uncer-
tain thy hour How. universal thy
sway! The powerful cannot escape
the: the wise know not how 10 avoid
thee; the strong have no strength to
oppose thee: the rich cannot bribe
thee with their treasure. Thou art q
lmmmer that always strikes, sword
that is never dull. net into which all
fall, q prison into which all must en-
ter. sea on which all must venture, a
penalty which all must suffer. a trib-
ute which all must pay. Oh, death
death. Implacable enemy to the hu-
man race. Why didst thou enter into
the orldf-Luis de Granada.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02
Not So Daft After All.

Daft Tam. as he was called. wander
ing through the village one day got Sc
verely bitten by the village inn dog.
Proceeding to he inn. he showed the
mistress what Eer 'dawg' had done.
She was MI i armed and. putting a
half crown into Tam's hand, said:
AVA tae tho doctor moo an pay him
WI the hauf C:oT H.
Tam eyed the coin. saying:
IT dinna think I'll bother WI the
doctor. but iist keep the siller."
For my sake gang tae him, or else
yell gan. daft"
"Hoots, wumman; ye're bletherin.
Daft folk cauna gang daft twice. y
Dundee Advertiser.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02

4 certain incident connected with
the great Napoleon while he was In eX-
lie in Elba is cOmmemOrated In the Is
land to this hour by au inscription az
fixed to the wall of peasants house.
A man named Giaconi was plowing
when the famous exile came along one
day and expressed an interest In his
work. Napoleon even took the plow-
share out of the mans hand and at
tempted TO guide 1t himself. But the
,xen refused to obey him, overturned
the plow and spoiled the furrow.
The inscription runs thus: Napoleon
the Great, passing by this place In
MDCCCXIV, took IN the nelghboring
field a plowshare from the hands OF Il
peasant and himself tried TO plow, Dul
the oxen, rebellious to those hands
which yet had guided Europe, headione
fed from the furrOw."
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02
Made Sure K Was Used.

An old farmer and his wife, noted
for their niggardllneSs, had a custom
of allowing the servant only one match
70 light the fire with each morning.
One morning the match failed to Kin
die, so the servant went TO their bed
room door and asked for another one.
4 whispered consultation was held
between the two, then audibly the wife
said.
"Wiu you risk her WI anither ane,
JOAnT'
Il doot wen haze tae risk her, Janet
replied John. but be sure an seek a
sicht o tie aue she got last nicht'-
Glasgow Times.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02
One Source Of News.

For many years certain New YORK
paper received society and club gossip
from man whose identity was con-
cealed by a clever ruse. Even his
checks were made out 10 his wife IN
her maiden name. He furnished IN
formation about the doings and wran-
clcs In various clubs little stories In
vOlving people whose names are
known by reputation to practically all
readers Of newspaper columns. lie IS
said thus 10 have averaged an income
Of about so a week not much. but
enough to buy hats, gloves and canes.
He was a most immaculate and ap
parcntly prosperous person. IL Is
needless 10 say that he has never been
suspected Of this small traffic. y
wealthy relative died and left him IN
dependent. When some such man
furnishes the clcw 10 delectable
scandal he has done Il stroke of bust
ness that will keep him in small lux
uries for months TO cOme.-Whitman
Bennett In Bohemian.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02
Queer Positions OF Hearts.

There is one curious fact which not
everybody notices about the common,
finger-long. green caterpillars of our
larger moths. Their hearts. instead OF
being IN front, are at the back or the
body and extend along the entire
length of the animal. One can see the
heart distinctly through the thin SKIN
and can watch its slow beat which
starts at the tail and moves forward 10
the head. Hearts of this sort reaching
from head 70 tail are not at all unc0m-
mon in the simpler creatures. The
earthwOrm has one, and so have most
worms. caterpillars and other crawling
things. Hearts in the middle of the
back also are quite as frequent as
those in what seems 10 US to be the
natural place. Many animals, the lob
ster for example. and the crayiish ana
the crab, which have short hearts ike
those of the beasts and birds. never
theless have them placed just under
the shell In what. in ourselves, would
be the small Of the back.-St Nicholas.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02
Part Of the Letter We Read.

Did YOU ever think" said an old
printer. that we really notice only the
upper halves OF the lettersf The lower
halves are in many cases only the
stems. the remalnders OF ornamental
fourIshes which have been gradually
reduced In size and length and are now
meaningless. Take, for instance, tne
heading Of a paper. Cover up with
blank sheet the lower half OF the let
ters and even II you did not know
what they were you would have no dif'
flculty in reading the words. Now, re-
verse the process and cover the upper
half. and II you did not know the words
Il would be impossible TO make out the
letters. This fact is even more plainly
seen IN the case OF the Roman letters
used for headlines. An l. might De
mistaken for an l. but nearly all the
other letters are so plainly Indicated
by the shape of the upper half that the
lines may lie read without difficulty.
81 Louis Globe Democrat.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02
The CIoved Gambler.

An American who visited Monte car
10 was telling of an incident there. IN
one Of the gold rooms" he said, a
gentleman in lavender gloves was
playing In wonderful luck. winning
nearly every stake. AS great stack
OF pIaques-you know those BEAUTIFUL
big gold pieces called plaques-was
pushed TO him In the croupier ! heard
a young Indy whisper in his ear:
"Tt is very odd. monsieur, TO wear
gloves at play. What do you do II for!
Lucl.T
The fortunate playec smiled grimly.
"'NCt at all be replied. / promised
my wife on her deathbed never again
to touch card"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02
TraveIino Sand Hills.

On tie coast Of Pomerania there are
large tracts OF sand heaped up by me
wind. hundreds of yards In breadth
and from 60 TO l20 feet high, ana
these hills. propelled By the wind.
move steadily in IN easterly direction.
The speed at which these great hilis
travel Is from thirty 10 tifty-six
feet a year. Pine woods, which some
times come In their line of march. can
not stop them and are completely de-
stroyed. The branches are rotted OK
by the sand, and nothing Is left OF tho
trees but the bare stems, which aitef
a few years wither and die.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02

An Englishman, an lrishman and q
Scotchman were one day arguing as TO
which Of the three countries possessed
the fastest trains.
We'll" said the Englishman, I've
been In one Of our trains, and the tele-
graph poles have been like hedge
1--WE seen the milestones appear like
tombstones," said the Scot.
BE jabersw said Pat. Il was one
day In a train in my country. and we
passed a field of turnips and field OF
carrots. also q field OF cabbage and
parsley. then a pond Of water, and we
were going that quick l thought II
was broth"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02
Announcements.

FOR COMMONWEALTH'S ATTORNEY.
To the Democratic Voters of Shenandoah Co:
thereby announce myself candidate for
the Office of Commonwealth's Attorney, sub
ject to the action of the Democratic primaries
TO be held for the same.
respectfully solicit yonf support for the
Office and, if elected, pledge myself to the
faithful discharge of its duties.
Respectfully.
RUSH II. WILLIAMSON.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02
Orc Rino and Another.

Il wonder when the ring first be
came connected with nghtingT said
the follower OF Pug!lisn. "Oh," replied
Henpcck. y suppose ir dates back 70
the beginning of tie Christian reli-
cion." What's shat? What has pugi-
ism to DO with rclgionT "Oh, |
thought You We're speaking Of the we'd
ding ring. "-Phi!ade!phia Press.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02
The Doctors Aim.

Some frivolous person has remarked
that illness was like a struggle between
two people and that the doctor resem-
bled the third man. who INTERVIEWED u
separate them with club. Sometimes
he hit the disease OH the head ana
sometimes the patient.-IospitaL
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02
A Mans Career.

A man ought to look upon his career
as a great artist looks upon his mas
terpiece, as an out-picturing OF his
best self. upon which he looks with
infinite pride and a satisfaction when
nothing else can give. Yet many peo-
pie are 80 loosely connected with their
vocation that they are easily separated
from it-Success Magazine.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02
A Crowd le Not Company.

But little do men perceive what soli'
tude Is and how far 1t extendeth. Tor
crowd is not company. and faces are
but a gallery OF pictures, and talk but
a tinkllng cymbal where there Is no
loye.-Bacon's Essay on Friendship.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02
Pepys on Shakespeare.

Pepys' Diary. 1G59-1069, commenting
on Shakespeare's plays. says OF Mid
summer Nights Dream" 1T Is the
most insipid. ridiculous play ever saw
In my life" and upon reading "Othel
10. Moor OF Venice which | have hith'
erto esteemed a mighty good play, but
having lately read the Adventures OF
Five Hours II seems a mean thing
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02
pIayino Railroad.

Irate Parent-Here. What Is al
this racket? Bobby-Piease, papa. we
are playing a train OF cars. and | am
the locomotive. Irate Parent-fou are
the locomotive, chi Well, | think III
Just switch you.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02
FOR SHERIFF.

To the Voters of Shenandoah County:
/ hereby announce myself as a candidate
for Sheriff of shenandoah County, subject to
the Democratic Primaries. II elected
promise the faithful snd impartial discharge
of the duties of said office. Your support will
be appreciated. Respectfully,
JOHN +. ROGERS.
Strasbrrg. Va. March a5th, 1907.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02
Aa Knew Mother.

"See here" cried the boys father
"if you don't behave I'll whip your
II wlsht you would" replied the bad
boy.
"You do, ehT
"Yes, cause when It's all over ma
will gimme some candy."-Exchange.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02
A Good Point

Prospective Purchaser Ike the
looks of this automobile, but suppose
should run over some one and Sales
man-The springs are so easy, sir'
you'd scarcely he Jared at alL-Cleve-
land PIaiu Dealer.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02

Wa'to1 81 Smoot
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02
Heartiess.

80 you wouldn't take me to be twen'
ty-sixY" giggled the fair widow.
"No, indeed" rejoined the inconsid
crate old bachelor "But If you had
daughter I might take her to be thai
old"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02
a Thouohtful Wife.

''Why did you tel your husband that
there would be three parts 20 the con
cert? There are only two"
"Yes, | know. but he Will be 50 pleas
I'd when il leaves off sooner than he
expects. Fliegcude Blatter.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02
Forcing Business.

Coster Irritable through lack OF
trade)- Buy box o. cough lozenges
'ang yerl Bystander--I haven't got a
cough. Cos.er-We!l. fight ma an buy
some stuff for blac~ eyes.-London TIT
Btu.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02

"When goes TO &c c1'tho"Sc.' SAID
r-nclp Tben. "l. sometimes locks 10 me
Ike de jurr w3e 2 cD.,Titteo to award
prize u dc smar. est lawyer. Wash
ngton Star.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02
lust a SUGGESTION.

"Oh, my" exclaimed the excited wo-
man who had mislaid her husband,
I'm looking for Il small man with one
eye"
"Well, ma'am." replied the polite
shopwalker. IF he's very small man
maybe you'd better use both eyes"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02
FOR STATE SENATE.
To the Voters o: the Tenth Senatorial Dis

To the Voters o: the Tenth Senatorial Dis
trict:
Subject to the action of the Democratic
primaries hereafter TO be held, hereby an
nounce myself candidate for State Senator
+ r the Senatorial district composed OF the
Counties OF Shenandoah and Frederick and
City of Winchester.
Under the rule Of rotation. which has been
alternately invoked by the upper and lower
counties OF this Dlstaict and has heretofore
prevailed, / take il for granted that II will be
the judgment of the people of the District that
the Nomination for the next term OF this
Office should in fairness go 10 some candidate
residing In the lower section of the District.
Should ii be the pleasure of the voters of this
Senatorial District t. entrust me with the
discharge of the duties of this Office will ear
nestly endeavor TO serve them with diligence
and fidelity: and 20 the best OF my ability,
and with impartial regard.tor the interests of
both counties
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02
We'll Acquainted.

Magistrate Stay! cannot allow
YOU 10 address the bench In this Ia
iniliar manner. Prisoner--Beg your
honor's pardon. but you and me has
met 40 often we seems like old friends
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-02
Intermission.

He yelled at the Top of his voice for
two hours and theE stopped.
well" said his mother, "are you
going to be good7 Have you finished
cryingT
"No," said Tommy, Il have not nm
ished; I'm only resting"