The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-29
BOWSER IN HISTORY.
ale Wants to BE Known to Future Gen.
erations.

p
2 evening, Mr.. Bowser entered the IL
brary and closed the door, and it was
a quarter of an hour before Mrs. Bow
ser was awake to the fact that there
was something mysterious going on
Then it occurred to her that Mr.. Bow
ser had seemed uneasy and nervous
and had little to say. She. gave him
five minutes more and then raped or
the door, and said:
you didn't tell me that you had
writing to do. Is it something spe-
cial %
Very special, my dear" he an
swered- Il may be writing mere until
daylight. You can go to bed whenever
you get ready"
But what is it that you are going
to write about until daylight? Don't
you have time to write your business
letters at the office? If it's anything
outside of business perhaps can help
you"
Mr.. Bowser looked at her longingly
but doubtfully, and finally replied:
Give me fifteen minutes more and
perhaps will consult with YOU
1t was nearly half an hour before he
appeared in the sitting room with three
or four pages of manuscript in his
hand and troubled look upon his lit
erary brow He read a part of page
and then looked at the cat; then he
read the other part and looked at Mrs.
Bowser, and finally said:
81 know how il will come out If I
ask your advice and assistance, but 1
always make a fool of myself in such
things. You've got an idea that don't
know enough to come in when it
rains"
ION the contrary" replied Mrs.
owser. Il think you are very clever
vman. Please explain just what it is
! this evening"
well. an agent for the Universal
Biography of Famous Americans was
in the office this afternoon. He came
in on other business, not knowing
whose office it was, but when he
heard me spoken to as Bowser he
couldn't sit still. He said he had been
reading and hearing about me for the
last ten years, and that must have at
least two pages in the book. 1 am to
have the pages next to President
Roosevelt"
"WeH?"
ct am to write whatever I want to
and he will publish it word for word.
II is'a work such as has never been un-
dertaken in the history of America be-
fore. There will be one thousand IA
nous men, and no scrubs can get into
It at any price. Whatever is said about
me will be read by future generations
for thousand years to come"
''And what is 1t to cost you ?"
"Only two hundred and fifty dol
lars. Some men have paid more than
that to be mentioned in a family al
manac along with Captain Kidd. You
know I have no vanity about me, Mrs.
Bowser, but If future generations want
to read of me, ought to be willing to
so?" fr.
Eyes. What have you written?"
Not a great deal. 1 have been try
ing to start the thing off, you see L
viii read what I have written, and for
heavens sake don't get sarcastic and
sheer at it. Tell me what you think
of it, but don't jump on me with both
feet. as you usually do. Now listen:
81 n IQnv
born in Chelsea, Massachusetts, in
1s4s. His parents were poor but hon
est. Like the lamented Abraham Lin
coin. Mr.. Bowser went barefooted I'M
his infancy 1t was seen that he was
cute. sharp. and a hustler. 1t was pre-
dicted on all sides that he would be a
great man.
when he had read that far.
VERY good" replied Mrs. Bowser,
with a nod. 81 haven't a word of fault
TO find with that. Go on"
" Mr.. Bowser walked twelve miles
through snowdrifts five feet high to
get his education. and it was only a
year before he knew more than his
teacher. He realized that the college
and the state prison are closely con-
nected, and so he did not attend either. !
He simply skirmished around and got
q general education, and when he had
reached the age of twenty no man in
A
ing-machine.
Il don't think you have overdrawn
it." said Mrs. Bowser, as he stopped |
to look at her. What else?"
I'm his eventful life Mr.. Bowser |
has owned groceries.
" He has bought out five different |
patents.
a." He is the only man that ever beat
a gas company.
- He has met mad dogs and earth |
quakeS-
He has been engaged in scientific
discoveries.
HE was the first to discover that If |
a man put his ear to a hole in the |
ing sound of the world turning on it's |
axis.
He made it first known that a rab-
bits hind legs were the longest, so
that he could run backwards when |
tired of going ahead.
1T took Mr.. Bowser five years to
discover that cockroaches devoured |
microb as by the thousand.
1T was through his indefatigable
efforts that the world came to know
why nature made the cucumber as we
find it.
"'During the past ten years Mr..
Bowser has been offered various po-
liticaI nominations, but has always de-
fered him. however. which is sure to
come about. he may break over his
rule.
He is not a man of one idea, as
was Pliny, Cicero, and Caesar. but has
dealt IN hogs. chickens, sows. orphans,
tramps, fire-escapes. burlar-alarms,
spring tonics hair-dyes. busted water
pipes, gas-saving arrangements and
many other things
- That's as far as / have gone" said
Mr.. Bowser, as he sat down. at won't
make more than half a page, but if 1
once get a start the rest will come