The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1907-07-17

II akAA44H 8ASAAAS 81 -
lfelatiyes IN Dodd ridge county!
Miss Emma Kennedy 8 visiting at
lib. M. Simpsons,
Lawrence Musgrace IS spending 9
|few days at PhiIippi. =
Miss Malissa Price was calling on
friends in this county recently
We understand that the rig for the
well on D. j. Eddy's farm near Behler
Twill be put up Immediately. r..
Arnettsyille will soon be without a
| postofice and the same fate awaits
the catnip infested city Of George
town.
Preparations are being made to re-
place the old school house at Hagans
with a new one. Behler, the city Of
oil, owls and oracles, has desire also
for a building in which Webster's may
be trained to crate. Langfellows to
sing and Moodys to preach.
Can 1t be possible that the Ameri'
can people are going to be tormentea
lby the tariff question through the next
contest? How many would care to
listen to speech or read an editorial
on the tariff? stand and be counted
while the choir sings
"In matters Of commerce,
The fault Of the Dutch
Is giving too little
And asking too much"
We trust that the Lone Star" will
continue his war against the citadels
Of credulity and crime. 1t requires
almost as mach courage to attack
some humbugs as It does for woman
to admit she is homely, but the Lone
star''has many allies that he knows
not Of, who broadly smile when he
hurls the dagger Of reason through the
heart of stupidity.
A southern simpleton says rum, rheu-
matism and Roosevelt are running the
country. The German sage SSs evt'
denty correct when he asserted that
it was impossible to keep mules from
their mullshness and fools from their
foollshness.'
We woald be pleased If the West
virginian will inform US it the crow
originally came from the dark Pluton,
ian shore.
Bryan has told us what Democrat
lis but the chances are 10000 to 1 that
he will not inform US when the Tam
many tiger began to transmit tokens
Of love to his blooded heifer.
Hen Rye Watterson is yelling Back
to the constitution" Billy Bryan is
braying, Back to Jefferson" while
the real desire Of both is to pilot
their party back to Washington, D. G.
A New York clergyman says that
the idea that education deprives a
woman of the desire to marry is fallac'
ious. Why assert what everybody
knows?
Mayor schmitz, Of San Francisco,
who has just been sentenced to the
penitentiary, says he will run for may.
or again next fall. 1t seems that i'm.
pudence is going to flourish forever
unhurt amid the war Of elements, the
wreck Of matter and the crush Of
worlds.
A blatant Bachelor Of Arts and Pro.
lessor Of Pessimism inquiries where
can there be found amidst the hosts
Of men a mind profound. Go to the
base ball field, thou vain babler Of idle
queries, consider the ways of the UNI
pire and be wise. He tolls not, Meth
er does he spin, yet Solomon in all his
glory was not arrayed like him. He
goeth forth about p. m. full of beer
and billingsgate.
There are no doubt many fox hunt.
ers who believe that II Shakespeare
were living now he would change the
opening section of his SD sonnet
which reads:
Full many a glorious morning have
l seen
Flatter the mountain tops with SOW
eign eye,
kissing with golden face the meadows
green,
Gliding pale streams with heavenly
alchemy"
To something like this:-
Many windy night have lain
By fire made of my neighbor's
fence,
Listening to the woe begone refrain
OF hound that didn't have a bit
Of sense.
catarrh Cannot be Cured