davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-08-14
A YANKEE RETORT.
Information For a Seaman on an Eng
iish Man-of.war.

Information For a Seaman on an Eng
iish Man-of.war.
Just after the war Of 1916 an Amer
lean ftigate visited England. Her
crew Of gallant tars had been princi-
pally recruited from the fisheries, and
some of them. it Is to he acknowledged,
did not compare favorably in appear
I'M with the spick and span, jaunty
English naval seamen. for the former
were Of all shapes and sizes. from the
tall, round shouldered. long armed
Cape Cooler down to the short, wiry
members Of the ships company who
hailed from various parts farther
south.
One day the captain Of the American
ship paid a visit to the commander Of
a British man-o'-war at anchor in the
same harbor. The cockswain of the GIG
was a great, lanky seaman, whose
backbone was SO rounded as to form a
veritable lump. While the boat rested
at the gangway of the visited vessel
the English sailors gathered in the
open ports and "took stock" In a rather
disdainful fashion Of the occupants of
the gig. At last the seaman of the
man-o'-war called down to the cock
swain:
cello. there, Yankee. l say. what's
that bloomin' lump you have or your
back?"
The American sailor looked up and
called back quick as a shot, That's
Bunker Hill".'-LOs Angeles Times.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-08-14
souvenirs Of a Criminal Career,

4 bedroom paperei with the flags o..
all nations is occupied by an artist
who has n ~hankpring for oddities. Ev-
cry nationality under the sun is e.
resented hE the colors Oh the walls.
ana the eHect upon Il person when first
entering the room is somewhat daz-
zlinS. THOSE Haas" said the arts.
represent Il career of crime which has
EXTENDED over the entire world. In
fact, l am IN international thief.
When l toured Africa. Asia. Europe
and>Australia some years ago with two
other fellow artists we each boosted OF
our ability in %'pinching' towels from
the hotels at which we stopped. The
fellow who got the lowest number was
to pay the passage Of the other two
back to this country. I came In first
by managing to collect 2W towels,
many Of which came from world IA
nous hotels. When l got them home
I Immediately turned them into flags
with my water colors. and they make
good souvenirs Of my criminal career"
philadelphia Record.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-08-14
Before There Wore Naval Uniforms,

a little prior to the Revolutionary
war, says the Newport Bluejacket.
there was 40 such thing as a naval
uniform. The officers wore civilian
clothes or some sort Of an adaptation
Of an army uniform as suited their
fancies, and the men dressed any how,
though they generally agreed in wear
ing their hair long and done up In a
cue, or pigtail. and with a lovelock
or two struggling down either side of
the face. The sailor seems always to
have been given to wide trousers, ex-
perience having taught him that his
neither garments must be so construct
ed that they could be easily rolled
above the knees when washing down
decks. Sometimes the old time sailor
did not wear trousers at all, but a
sort Of kilt like a highlander's. Look
at any old print showing a man-o'-
wars crew as late as 1918 and see
what a motley lot Of garments are
shown on the men. Some Of them
even wore stovepipe hats upon their
heads.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-08-14
Instinct In Plants.

Climbing plants have two opposing
methods Of describing spiral growth.
The plants that turn to the right in
the northern hemisphere reverse this
trend In the southern hemisphere, aud
therefore. for the sake Of consistency,
It may be preferable to describe the
two KINDS OF spiral tendency as re-
spectively "clockwise' and Counter
clockwise," which latter can be short
ened to '~cOunterwise." The honey
suckle and the hop turn "ciockwise,"
while the convolvulus and the scarlet
runner bean Irvine "counterwise." Elk
periments made by growing scarlet run
ner beans in Opaque cylinders, to dis
cover whether the deviation Of the
twist was innate or merely from the
direction Of the light, disclosed the
fact that the plant possesses an inclina-
ton resembling the instinct Of animals,
Of proceeding in a given direction, and
resents any attempt to force 1t other
wise.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-08-14
SUM- MONS.

In the District Court Of the Twelfth Judicial
District Of the State of Montana, in and for the
County Of Choteau.
A: H. Fey, plaintiff, vs.. Arthur Grsetz, de-
PENDANT.
The state Of Montana sends greetings to the
above named defendant:
You are hereby summoned to answer the com
plant in this action which is filed in the Office of
the clerk of this court, y copy Of which is here
with served upon you in the county whore you
reside, and to file your answer and serve q copy
thereof upon the plaintiffs attorney within wen.
days after the service of this summons, exclusive
OF the Gay OF service: and IN case OF yonr failure
against you by default for the relief demanded
in the complaint.
Said action Is brought for the recovery OF
Sis. II, the value of goods sold and delivered to
You by plaintiff, and $50 money loaned to you by
plaintiff.
Witness my hand and the seal of this
tsv,, lcourt this Goth day of July, A.. d. 1907.
NAL CHAS. II. BOYLE.
Clerk.
BY {. ". BAERvElDr, DeputT Clerk.
T. +. Stranahan, attorney for plaintiff.
Fret publication July 81, 1907.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-08-14
Antiquity of Tea Smoking.

with your tea cigarettes.' said the
antiquary sternly, you young ladies
think yourselves very modern and de-
cadent. But look here"
He took from Il portfolio a French
print Of the seventeenth century that
portrayed two men, with cumbrous
pipes. charging the same from a box
Of China tea.
This shows you," the old man said,
"the antiquity of tea smoking. 1t was
a common thing in France 200 years
ago. Blegnt mentions 1t. and Grand
d'Aussay in his Historic de Ia Vie
Privee DIES Francois describes it In de
tail. An old vice, a dead %vice-fOr the
French found that tea smoking rncked
the ~nerves-how very, very foolish you
girls are to have revived it."-New Or
leans Times Democrat.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-08-14
SOME FAMOUS BENEFITS.
The One For GrimaIdi, In 1923, Long
Remained a Record.

1t was as far back as lots, according
to Samuel I'epys. that II knipp cam
to him about the 'woman's day" at
the playhouse. which he was expected
to patronize in order to increase the
profits.
Perhaps the first organized benefit
for a particular favorite. however. was
that given to Mrs. Barry in 1857. On
such occasions it was customary to
charge for admission to the stage,
which In consequence often became so
thronged that when a player to whom
the distinction was accorded had to
make his appearance before the foot
lights to take up his part in the piece
1t had not infrequently to be stopped
for several minutes while the attend.
ants forced a passage for the unfor-
tunate actor through the throng Of his
admirers.
Thus on the occasion Of Quin's ben
eft ut Covent Garden, in 1853. the old
actor. who was incumbered with the
heavy dress Of Falsta1, was several
minutes before he could pass on to the
stage on account Of the crowds that
were assembled In the wings.
Perhaps one Of the saddest Of the
many benefits which have been cele.
brated at Drury Lane was that given
on June -. 1923. for Grimaldi, the
greatest clown the stage has known,
when the heartbroken old man was
wheeled on to the stage in an arm
chair and hopelessly broke down III
his endeavor to sing his once famous
ditty, Hot Codlins." The old mans
memory had completely forsaken him.
On that occasion a sum Of fl. 200 was
realized, which for many years remain
ed a record.-St. James Gazette.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-08-14
Life IS Childish Pleasure.

The wealthy woma with diamonds
up to her knuckles vas telling of Il
mar she knew who was going abroad
on a cattle steamer. "He is going for
his health" she said. "He is very deli
cate, but he is so poor. Why should a
man who has no health endeavor to
preserve the little he has? With no
money to make life agreeable and SO
little life left in the body, why should
he keep on wanting to .live?" One of
her listening friends who is not par
ticularly incumbered with this worlds
goods spoke up. II suppose he takes
a sort Of childish pleasure in 1t. Most
Of us do."-New York Press.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-08-14

WHAT r you DOING HERE (
to sec you. l just got out in time to
learn that you were IN your way back
home"
"That was horrid," she said. "It
was not like father"
"But you see he's worked so hard
that he wants to land the match"
Meg frowned as she always did
when reminded Of her approaching
marriage. An English duke with vast
estates and an in1nitesimal income
had asked her hand in marriage, and
her father had given assent in her
name.
Francis Cadmus had been ambitious
for his daughter. He had always
frowned upon Jimmy Dorvars suit,
even while admitting that he was a
fine young fellow and bound to make
his way in the world.
Ben Tibbettson's daughter had mar
ried a baronet. Here was a chance to
administer a final coup to Tibbettson.
who had boosted OF his titled son in
law ever since. So when young Dorval
began to show signs Of insubordination
Cadmus had hired private detectives.
The events in Philadelphia had proved
the value Of this move, for Dorval and
Margaret had planned an elopement.
Meg's mother came from one of the
old Philadelphia families. and her
aunts had insisted upon a visit that
they might shine in reflected glory Of
her engagement to the duke. Cadmus
had sent her over In a private car
and had arranged that she should
come back the same way. The gate
man had not caught her reference to
the private a when she came back
from the telegraph Office. and by mis-
take had directed her to the regular
train Just pulling out.
ats a dispensation Of Providence
declared Dorval when she had ex-
planned the situation. There are his
dukelets, the detectives and your re.
spected parent cooped up, waiting for
the other train. and here we are, TO-
gether, and with a Pennsylvania H.
cense IN my pocket. If we can be mar
ried before we cross the state line
will YOU. dear:"
"Of course l WILL" she declared
briskly Il don't want to marry the
duke, and do want to marry YOU. Is
there a clergyman on boarl:"
IN get you one" offered the brake
man. who had been standing at hand.
IN expectation Of Il tip. There's an old
guy with white whiskerS two cars
back
He 1arted out while Jimmy gave Meg
bis seat anu stood beside her. The
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-08-14
A Floral Scrap.

ibid you hear of all the trouble in
the flower circuS!"
mo. What was it,"
"Wcll, to begin with, the tiger lilies
boosted of the superiority of their
tricks over the dandy-lions, and these
cat-tales were brought to the elephant
ears, and it was very natural that the
dogwood tell them where the cows
lips would repeat them. That fox
glove was Oh hand, although the cocks
comb gossip was ahead. Then every
body was inclined to linger to admire
the parrots feather till they heard the
cro-cuss like a trooper, and all hands
got a fatherly lecture from the poppy
lower."-Washington Herald.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-08-14
Desert lard..Final Proof.
UNITED STATES LAND OFFIcE,
GREAT FALLS, Mont, July Is, 1870

UNITED STATES LAND OFFICE,
GREAT FALLS, Mont, July Is, 1907.
Notice 10 hereby given that
WILHELMIENE LOHSE,
1t j Judith, Chouteau county, Montana, has filed
notice. of intention to make proof on her deser,
land claim No. $500, for $50 acres of unsurveyed
land, beginning ct . point about one-quartel
mile northeast from the Judith ferry, across the
Missouri river, near the mouth Of Judith river
north eide Of the Missouri river, thence east 1874
feet. thence north 1890 feet, thence east 1870 feet
thence north 264O feet, thence east 1920 feet,
thence north 1920 feet, thence west 2o4G feat
thence south l90 feet, thence west 1890 fest
thence south 1890 feet, thence west 1870 feet
thence south 1890 feet, thence east 1880 feet
thence south 1890 feet to the place Of beginning
containing $40 acres in ChouteAu county, Mon
tana. which, when surveyed, will probably be The
NWk sen. MEN, seq Nwk section 3, Sw.t
. north, range Is east, Montana meridian. I'M
sione!. 1t his office in Fort Benton, Montana, or
Tuesday, the 9Th day Of August, 1907.
She names the following witnesses to prove the
complete irrigation and reclamation of said land
John Lohse, julius Lehfeldt and Hans Lehfeldt
Of Judith, Montana; James Conley, Of Conley
Montana.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-08-14
SUM- MONS.

In the District Court OF the Twelfth Judicial
District of the State OF Montana, in and for the
county of Chouteau.
A. H.. Fey, plaintiff, vs.. Arthur Graetz and Os-
car c. Graetz, co-partners rs Graetz Bros, de-
PENDANTS.
The State of Montana sends greetings to the
above-named defendants and to each of them:
You are hereby to answer the com
plant in this action which is fled in the Office of
the clerk of this court, y copy of which is here.
by served upon one of you in each county where
in any of you reside, and to file your answer and
serve a copy thereof upon the plaintiffs attorney
within twenty days after the service Of this sum
mons, exclusive of the day of service; and in case
of your failure to appear or answer, Judgment
will be taken against you by default for the relief
demanded in the complaint.
Said action is brought to recover the sum of
$50. til, the value of goods sold and delivered To
you By plaintiff.
Witness my hand and the seal of said
SEAL. court this s'th c dsy Of i lux E;oA 4 , 1907
Clerk.
BY c. NJ. BAERvEIDr, Deputy Clerk.
+, + Stranahan, attorney for plaintiff.
First publication. July 81. 1907.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-08-14
In Spite of
His Grace.
BY GRACE
1907. by Homer Sprague.

+ Copyright. 1907. by Homer Sprague. +
"The special car for New York; de-
manded Margaret.
Track -" came the response.
Hurry up! They're just closing the
gates"
With a little shrek Of excitement
Margaret dashed down the concourse
aud slipped through the gate just in
time. She paused uncertainty, looking
for the private car. A brakeman dart
ed forward. half pushed her upon the
req platform and the train began to
move. There was a clamor at the
gate, evidently from the people who
had missed the train, and Margaret
smiled ~contentedly as she realized by
the train herself.
The friendly brakeman looked puz-
zled when she spoke of a special car.
but at last a light dawned upon his
face.
"That was to be attached to the
Washington express" he explained.
'"The train is twenty minutes late"
"And I'm on the wrong train," she
cried.
Its all right IL you want to go to
New York. Wen get there about the
time they do"
'"Then l may as we'll stay on" Mar.
garet moved forward to the Pullmans
still attended by the brakeman. She
had just entered the hrst Of the parlor
cars when she felt a tug at her sleeve
Jimmy" she cried in establishment,
what are you doing hereT"
Bearing defeat back to New York.
he explained. Il got the license, and
tried to get word to you, but It seems
that your father took the precaution
to put a couple Of private detectives on
guard. One Of them had me arrested
tor disturbing the peace when I tried
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-08-14
Orphans.

Two of the young friends of Bishop
WilherfOrce Of oxford gave the au-
thorities of the university 81 much
trouble that they won the nicknames
Of Hophni and P%hinehas.
One day, says T. II. s. Escott In $50
ciety In the Country House," they
wer" lOunging about the hall at Cud-
desdon palace, singing the Lutheran
refrain, The devil is dead" when the
bishop suddenly appeared.
He walked very gently up to them
and in his most caressing manner
placing one hand on each head, said In
a consolatOry tone:
".Alas, poor Orphans!"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-08-14
Tho House Of RomaRoff.

The house Of Romanon passed out Of
existence with the death Of its last
survivor. Empress Elizabeth. daughter
Of Peter the Great, who was succeeded
as ruler of Russia by her nephew,
Peter OF Oldenburg, duke Of Holstein-
Gottorp. son Of her younger sister.
Grand Duchess Ann. 1t is from this
czar, who relgned as Peter ILL.,, that
the whole Of the reigning house Of
Russia are descended, and they are,
therefore, not Romanoffs, but Olden-
burgs.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-08-14
SUM- MONS.

In the district court of the Twelfth judicial
district of the state of Montana, in and for the
county of ChOutsau.
A. II. Fey, plaintiff, ". Oscar G. Graetz, do
PENDANT.
The state of Montana sends greetings TO the
above named defendant:
Ion are hereby to answer the com
plant in this action. which IL filed In the OIL &C
of The clerk of this court, Il copy Of which is
herewith served upon you in the county where
you reside. and to file your answer and serve a
copy thereof upon the plaintiff = attorney within
twenty days after the service of this summons,
exclusive of the dsv Of service; and in case OF
your failure to appear or answer. judgment will
be taken against you by default for the relief de-
manded in the complaint.
said action is brought to recover the sum OF
S:D7 %, the value of goods sold and delivered tc
yon by plaintiff, and 800 money loaned to you
by plaintiff.
Witness my handand the seal of SAID
,s,., court this 2hth day of July, A. ID. 1907.
s"Nh CHAS. II. BOYLE,
Clerk.
By C. NJ. BAERvELDT, Deputy Clerk.
f. +. Stranahan, attorney for plaintiff.
First publication, July 81, 1907.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-08-14
Two Hundred Species Of Roses.

There are 200 species Of roses in ex-
-
~istence, though perhaps not more than
fifty clearly defined families. OF these
families only two are Of American
birth. There are thousands Of varte-
ties, however, and of these u enter
pr1sing ose growers have contributed
BY far the largest proportion. The
eagerly sought black rose Is still un
produced, though a New York florist
has a DARK red n which in some
lights has the appearance Of black vel
vet.-Kansas City Journal.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-08-14
SWedenboro In Ruffes and Wio,

SVSNOs00tS NJ VVUu0o anu w III
Swedenborg vas n great deal in Lon
don, where he vas known and admired
and had several good friends, but his
small knowledge Of English and the
impeachment in his speech precluded
him from my real intimacy. His slight
figure, with its fine features and hazel
eyes. was we'll known in the neighbor.
hood Of Coldbath fields, where he lOdg.
ed, and he vas often seer stopping to
talk to the children. for whom he used
to carry sweetmeats. He was always
dressed in an old fashioned suit with
lace rnilles and wore a full bottOmed
wig, carrying a sword and Il gold head
ed cane. On Christmas eve, 1771, he
had Il stroke Of apOplexy, and on
March 20, 1872. the day he had fore
told. he died at the house which he had
himself nameh.-Occult Review.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-08-14
Notice Of Final Proof,
UNITED STATES LAND Orr,cs,

UNITED STATES LAND OFFIcs,
GREAT FALLS, Mont, July Il, 1907.
Notice is hereby given that
ADOLF STIPMAN,
OF Chester, Montana, has filed notice of his In
tentiOn to make mai fve-year proof in support
o! his claim. viz: Homestead entry No. 1885,
made March ;. 1901, for the SEA SEA section ID,
and lots |, ,, 3 and 8, section -, township %
north, range 8 east, and that said proof will be
made before Maurice Spangler, I. 5. commits
sioner, 1T his office in Chester, Montana, on
Tuesday, August 20, 1907.
He names the following witnesses to prove his
continuous residence upon and cultivation of
laid Land, viz: John Arthurs, James 5. Cox,
Thomas P. Snu6er, Of Chester, Montana, and
Martin Wasesha, of Beatrice, Montana.
j. NJ. BURLINGAME. Register.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-08-14
J. NJ. BURL1NaAMR. Register
Desert land..FinaI Proof,
UNITED SrArBs l

UNITED STATES LAM OFFICE,
GREAT FALLS, Mont, August 3, 1907.
Notice IL hereby given that
DOROTHY MCLEISH,
of Fort Benton, Montana, has filed notice Of in
No. 1877, for lot 5, and SEX NWk eection >,
township q north, range s east, before Chas. II.
Boyle, o. 8. commissioner, At his office At Fort
Benton. Montana, on Saturday, the 18th day of
September, 1907.
She names the following Witnesses to prove the
complete irrigation and reclamation Of said land:
Adam tombstone, David Gilbert, Charles Smith
tana. j. M. BURLINGAME, Register.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-08-14
Human Nature.

Why are guests so h%abitual!y dis
coutented?" asked the landlord.
They're not really Disconnected" an
swered the clerk. They merely want
to convey a favorable impression about
what they are used to at home
Washington Star.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-08-14
Making Her Happy.

"You say you have subscribed to the
Up to Date Fashion Magazine for your
wife,"
"Yes; she gets sc much enjoyment
out OF weeping over the gowns which
/ cannot afford to buy for her.
Houston Post.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-08-14
Just a Taste.

Missionary-.And do you know moth
Ing whatever of religion: Cannibal-
Well. we got a taste of it when the
last missionary was here.-Cleveland
Leader.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-08-14
Made Him Hon.

Hiram Hardapple What made
0randpap Wheatly jump ten feet and
forget his rheumatlcs when the circus
parade passed? Was he afraid Of the
elephants?
Zeke Crawfoot-No. He heard the
steam calliope and thought 1t was one
Of those automobiles with the new
tangled whistles.-Chicago News.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-08-14
The tiymn He Didn't Wan.

\ young man who was t. be mar
riel in church to a Miss Way. after a
courtship of four years, privately re-
queSted the choir not TO open the scrv-
ice by singing, This Is the Way l long
have sought"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-08-14
No Modern Home Is Complete
Without a Telephone.

The greatest labor and time-saving
convenience of the age. You can talk
from your telephone to every subscrib.
er in any exchange in Utah, Montana,
Idaho, Wyoming, as we'll as all Pacific
coast points and Colorado and New
Mexico. Short rates for short talks.
Halt minute up. The pay begins when
the talk begins.
Rates from $500 up, for unlimited
local service.
Leave your orders now. The new
instruments are the very latest i'm.
proved.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-08-14
Inference.

Crawford-Did any one ever tell you
that he was henpecked: Crabshaw--
No. but 1 noticed portraits of his wife's
family hanging all over the house.
life.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-08-14

An empty purse causes 4 full heart
Fielding.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-08-14
Rocky Mountain Bell Tel. Co.

Water right b~lanks-oniy correc:
form published-for sale at the RIVER
PRESS Office.