Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1907-05-02

He had found his first explanation over
whelming. Now suddenly it seemed to
him that his present difficulty was more
impossible to surmount. II came here
tonight to tell you something" he be-
gan at last, "but SO far I have only
said half
"Half?"
Eyes, half" He repeated the word
quickly, avoiding the question in her
eyes. Then, conscious Of the need for
explanation, he plunged into rapid
speech.
"a fraud like mine," he said, has
only n safeguard, n justification-a
boundless audacity. Once shake that
audacity and the whole motive power
crumbles. 1t was to make the %audacity
impossible-to tell you the truth and
make it impossible-that 1 came to-
night. The fact that you already knew
made the telling easier, but it altered
nothing"
Eve raised her head, but he went
resolutely on.
Tonight" he said, II have seen into
my OWL life. into my own mind, and
my ideas have been very roughly shak-
en- into new places.
I'VE never make so colossal a mis-
take as when we imagine that we know
ourselves. Months ago, when your
husband first proposed this scheme to
me, / was, according to my own O n
ception, q solitary being vastly i'll used
by fate, who, with a fine stoicism, was
leading a clean life. That was what
l believed, but there, at the very out
set, l deceived myself. l was simply
a man who shut himself up because he
cherished q grudge against life and
who lived honestly because he had a
constitutional distaste for vice. Ny
first feeling when 1 saw your husband
was one of self righteous contempt,
and that has been my attitude all
flood Of intolerance hat has rushed
over me at sight of him-the violent
desire that has possessed me to look
away from his weakness and Danish
the knowledge of it-but now l under
stand.
II know now what the feeling meant.
The knowledge came to me tonight. 1t
meant that l turned away from his
weakness because deep within myself
something stirred in recognition of it.
Humanity is really much simpler than
we like to think, and human impulses
have an extraordinary fundamental
connection. Weakness is egotism, but
so is strength. Chilcote has followed
his vice; l have followed my ambition.
1t will take a higher judgment than
yours or mine to say which of US has
been the more selfish man." He paus-
ed and looked at her.
She was watching him intently.
Some of the meaning in his face had
found a panied. alarmed reflection in
her own. But the awe and wonder of
the mornings discovery still colored
her mind too wildly to allow of other
considerations possessing their proper
value. The thrill Of exultation with
: which the mlsgivings born Of Chilcote's
vice had dropped away from her men
tai image of Loder was still too absorb.
ing to be easily dominated. She loved
and as if by a miracle her love had
been justified. For the moment the
justification was all suf1cing. Some,
thing of confidence, something Of the
innocence that ome not from igno.
rance of evil, but from a mind singu'
larry uncontaminated, blinded her te
{ the danger of her position.
Loder. waiting apprehensively fol-
some aid, some expression Of opinion
became gradually conscious of this
lack of realization. Moved by a fresl
t impulse, he crossed the small space
J that divided them and caught her
t hands.
, Eve" he said gently, 81 have beer
t trying to analyze myself and give 20,
the results. but 1 shan't try any more
I shall be quite plain with you.
t "From the first moment l took you
husbands place I was ambitious. 70,
: unconsciously aroused the feeling whe1
you brought me Fraide's message OF
the first night. You aroused it by you.
t words, but more strongly, though NOR,
obscurely, by your underlying antago
: nism. On that night, though l did no
: know it, l took up my position; / mad,
1 my determination. Do you know wha
that determination wasp
She shook her head.
ut was the desire to stamp out Chi
cote's footmarks with my own. t.
prove that personality is the great fore
capable of everything. 1 forgot to recE
on that when we draw largely upol
Fate she generally EFFORTS a crushini
= interest.
. "First came the wish for your re
!. spect, then the desire to stand we
with such men as Fraide-to feel til
stir of emulation Inc competition-t
> prove myself strong in the n caree
I knew myself fitted for. For a tim
: the second ambition overshadowed tn
first, but the first was bound to reas
sert itself, and in a moment of egotisI
I conceived the notion of winning you
enthusiasm as we'll as your respect"
Ewes face, alert and questioning
suddenly paled as a doubt crossed he
mind.
"Then it was only-only to stand we