The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-07-17
wakes up out OF his sleep O. nights and
kin almost hear hisse!f hrayin'.
Jackson and Trsnsno;ora+;or

"Persimlnon Jackson went into lie
transmierashun bizness bekaze h..
hoped to come back to airth as y
guinea hen. He wanted to strut around
de yard and 90 cluck. cluck. cluck. and
once in awhile to let out one O dem
screams dat sours all de milk in dc
pantry. I me- up wild him on de street
de odde day, and of all de woebeyone
critters l ever saw he was de worst.
1t had suddenly occurred to him tina;
he might come back as a rabbit and
dat all de boys and all de foxes in do
state would git arter him and make
him keep on de hump for twenty-four
hours a day.
"Brudder Cicero White, sittin' ober
darn wild his ears workin', has also
got his so1fer and can't be comforted.
Professor SkoolRem told him at first
dat led try and arrange to have him
struck by lightnin' and come back to
airth as a five legged boss that would
have nothin' to do but pose in a dime
museum and eat de best of food, but
when he refused to buy a bottle Of de
kink straightener he was informed dat
he'd be bit to death by a hog and come
back as a bat. He's nigh sighted by
day, and de idea of flynn around on
dark nights and buttiA' his head ag'in
telegraph poles keeps him so upset dat
he can't injoy ham and eggs.
"Brudder Pardonable Black has also
got his dose. He jist rushed right into
transmigrashun like a bull gwine for
a haystack. He allowed he wanted to
come back to airth as a millionaire
arter dy1n' softly and decently Of ap-
pendicitis and then go at it and spend
a hundred dollars a day for fried oys-
tiers and ice cream. He bought de kink
straightener and paid his dollar, but
when it didn't work he complained to
dc professor. In return he was told
dat be would be eaten up by wolves
o come back to airth as a pear tree
and dat de boys would be climbin' him
from Sunday mawnin' till Saturday
night. He hain't drawed a breath OF
comfort for three weeks, and dar am
seventeen mo- kinks in his ha'r dan
dey used to be.
The Dude Of the Club.
Zone mo- case-dat Of Brudder Co.
along Saxby. He's de dude OF dis
club. When he heard about transmit
grashun he made up his mind dat he
wanted to sweat hisself to death by
wearin' a $3.50 fur lined obercoat. Den
he wanted to come back to airth as a
peacock. He was gwine to make SIGH
a spread OF tail feathers as had nebber
bin seen in dis world befo'. He prac-
tlced on a strut, so as to have It all
ready. He jist dwelt on how he would
mash eberything for ten miles around
and make all de gobblers and ROSTERS
look tired. The thing might have gone
through, but de professor got jealous
OF him and told him dat he would die
OF bilious collie and come back to airth
to be a brindle bobtailed cat. OATS
why Goalong isn't wild us we're dis
evenin'. He's sittin' home wild his
feet in a pan Of hot water and prayin'
de Lawd to spare him.
"Jist two or three words mo-. Trans
migrashun stops right we're wild a sud
den thud.
"Drap 1t or de Limekiln club draps
you.
"BefO' comm to de meetin' tonight
l went ober to de icehouse and hunted
up the professor. l caused him to un-
dergo sartin %gyrashuns and moshuns
for about five minutes, and when I
was frew wild him he was dustin
back lords Aiabamy so fast dat you
might have played checkers on his
coat tails.
Oats all. We will now break de
meetin' in two and 60 home. Any one
OF you who comes back to de next
meetin' as a jackass will hear SUM-
thin drap." NJ. QUAD.