Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-08-31
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the ill-behaved brats owned by other
people.-Town Topics.
IL, sir" began Bragg, lam self
made man." Yes replied Wise, "but
why apologize now7 That won't help
matters. "-Philadelphla Press.
"One to-day is worth two to-mor-
rows" said the philosopher. You're
another" replied Pat "Tomorrow's
pay day. Chicago Record Herald.
Editors Wife-Listen how the tea
kettle sings, my dear! Editor--Small
wonder! put p lot of Spring Songs"
In the fire just now. --Meggendorfer
Batter
Patience-What reason had she for
marrying him? Patrlce-Why, he had
money. Patience That Is not rea-
son; that is an excuse.--Yonkers
Statesman.
American Magnate--What, You In
sist upon my settling million on you?
Why, yesterday you said only 100000.
Duke-But since then I've seen the
girl,-Town Topics.
Mistress Ito new maidl--Above all
things, | expect you to be reticent
Maid-Yes, ma'a1lr, certainly, (Curl-
ously) But what is there to be reti-
cent about ?-~Lustige Batter.
Marie can't you play tennis with
out making all that nolse?" Now,
ma, who In the world ever heard of
nnyone's playing tennis without a
racquet ~ Baltimore American.
Jorkins - Drugged and robbed! Why
| don't you have some action taken In
the matter? Jobson-l can't. sup
pose the fellow had my permission.
You see, he was my doctor.-~New
Yorker
He bitterly You have no heart.
! She-What nonsense He--Tts the
truth, You firt outrageously with ev-
cry man you meet. she-Then l must
have a very large heart to give n little
| Of II 20 80 many Brooklyn Eagle.
Daughter SO, mamma, you desire
me to marry Mr.. Baldhead | simply
|
would take too long to enumerate all
his faults Mother-Very well, my
dear you'll be able to tell hkn all
that when you are married.-Pele Mele-
Plnch-Don't get foolish just because
you've had a little money left to you.
You'd better be economical now. Gay
ley--Ah It's too hard Pinch~-But IL
you don't live economically now you'll
have to later. Gayley--Welr, II Isn't
so hard to be economical when you
have to.
Mrs Bgerton Blunt-But why did
you leave your last place? Applicant
I couldn't stand the way the mis-
tress and master used to quarrel mum.
Mrs. n. II. (shocked) Dear met Did
they quarrel very much, then? ApplI-
cant--Yes, mum; when It wasn't me
an I'm, It was mo an 'er.-Answers.
Wilhelm Well, old man, I haven't
seen you for nm age. And how do You
find matrImony suits you? Johann
(sIghIng) Its an expensive JOY. II I
had only known what | had to pay In
millIners' bills Wilhelm-You
would have remained single, Ell? Jo-
hann--No. would have married the
miIliner.,--LL Agt!ge platter
Mr.. Housek ecp-For goodness sake!
What are you crying about? Mrs.
Housekeep Bridget got mad and left
| this afternoon (sob) without mo-
ment's (sob) notice Mr.. Housekeep-
| Well you were going to discharge her,
anyway. Mrs Housekeep-I know
(sob) That's the trouble She (sob)
got ahead of me.--Phlladelphia Press.
"That city man spent Sunday with
you. didn't he7" said Farroway. What
did he say about your placer oh"
replied Subbubs, che talked nonsense;
said ii was "A pity didn't buy place
nearer the station" well, well !"
Yes: told him the real pity was
that my place wasn't near enough 70
the station 10 sell."--PhlIad- lphia
| Press.
yah, thcre" angrly exclaimed
! Saymold storey, who had curled him
self M and gone to sleep on the sunny
side Of an ash barrel In the alley.
'Wot We pokin' me thataway fur?"
"Oxcusc me. please" said the rag
| picker, dropping his iron hook In as
/ constituent Il It'd not know dere vos
man inside OF dem ~ Chicago Trib-
| une
Hcnpeck Did y1u hear Of the nervy
thing Mcekley dldf Underthum-
MeekIey? The idea! What was 1T?
Henpeck His wife went to her club
the other night aud when she came
back she found the door locked. Meek
ley kept her waiting for fully two min
utes before he answered the bell and
then he pretended he had locked the
door absent-miudedly.
The New Cook Place. mum, tho
butcher did De tellin ire somerhin this
mor-nin' mt I'm not afther under