The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1907-01-20


, quarter, Place Cert'nly. my deal
fri'nd Flannery. Delighted.' Mott"
F1annery drove the express wagon tt
Mr.. Warehouses; door. Mr.. Morehoust
answered the bell
'Ah, hal" he cried, as soon as he saw
it was Flannery. so you've come tt
your senses at last, have you?
thought you would. Bring the box in. ;
Il hev no box said FIannery, cold
ly. Il hev bill agin Misther John c.
Morehouse for two dollars and twinty-
foive cints for kebbages aten by his
Pay Cabbage" gasped Mr.
Morehouse DO you mean to say that
two little guinea pigs
Eight" said Flannery. Papa an
mama an the six childer. Eight"
For answer Mr.. Morehouse slammed
the door in Flannery's face. Flannery
looked at the door reproachfully.
Il take ut the con-sign-y don't want
to pay for thin kebbages,' he said. IF
I know signs of refusal, the con-sign-y
refuses to pay for wan dang kebbage
leaf an be hanged to met
Mr. Morgan, the head of the tariff
department, consulted the president of
garding guinea pigs, as to whether
they We're pigs or not pigs. The pres
ident was inclined to treat the matter
lightly.
What is the rate on pigs and on
pets?" he asked.
Pigs thirty cents, pets twenty-five
said Morgan.
Then of course guinea pigs are
pigs said the president.
Yes agreed Morgan, II look at it
th.t way, too A thing that can come
under two rates is naturally due to be
classed as the Higher. But are guinea
pigs pigs? Aren't they rabbits?"
Come to think OF it," said the pres
ident Il believe they are more like
rabbits. Sort of halfway station be-
tween pig and rabbit. 1 think the
domestic pig family? I'll ask Professor
Gordon. He is authority on such
things. Leave the papers with me-"
The president put the papers on his
desk and wrote letter to Professor
Gordon. Unfortunately, the professor
was in South America collecting ZOO
logical specimens, and the letter was
forwarded to him by his wife. AS the
where no white man had ever pene-
trated, the letter was many months In
reaching him. The president forgot the
guinea pigs, Morgan forgot them. Mr..
Morehouse forgot them, but Flannery
did not. One-half of his time he gave
to the duties of his agency; the other
half was devoted to the guinea pigs.
Long before Professor Gordon received
-,
one from Flannery.
About them dago pigs" it said,
what shall I do they are great in fam
ily life, no race suicide for them, there
are thirty-two now shall I sell them do
you take this express office for me-
nagerie, answer quick"
Morgan reached for a telegraph blank
and wrote:
He then wrote Flannery letter call
ing attention to the fact that the pigs
were not the property of the company,
but were merely being held during
settlement of dispute regarding rates.
He advised Flannery to take the best
possible care of them
F'lannery, letter in hand, looked at
the pigs and sighed The dry goods
box cage had become too small. He
boarded up twenty feet of the rear of
the express office to make large and
airy home for them, and went about |
his business. He worked with feverish |
when out on his rounds for |
the pigs required attention and took |
most of his time. Some months later, |
in desperation. he seized a sheet of pa T
per and wrote 100 across it and |
mailed it to Morgan. Morgan returned
1t asking for explanation. Flannery
replied:
There be now one hundred sixty of
them dago pigs, for heavens sake let
me sell off some, do you want me to go
crazy, what
sell no pigs Morgan wired.
Not long after this the president OF
he express company received a letter
from Professor Gordon. 1t was long
and scholarly letter. but the point was
that the guinea pig was the Cavia
lparoea, while the common pig was
he genus Sus of the family Suidae. He
remarked that they were prolific and
multiplied rapidly.
They are not pigs" said the presi-
lent, decidedly, to Morgan. 1.-THE
cent rate applies
Morgan made the proper notation on
he papers that had accumulated in
File A6754, and turned them over to the
Audit Department The Audit Depart
nent took some time to look the mat
er up, and after the usual delay wrote
Tlannery that as he had on hand 100
,uinea pigs, the property of consignee,
lie should deliver them and collect
harges at the rate of 25 cents each.
F1annery spent a day herding his
harges through a narrow opening in
heir cage SO that he might count
hem.
Audit Dept" he wrote when he had
lnished the count, you are way of
here may be was one hundred and six
y dago pigs once, but wake up don't
re back number. I've got even eight {
now shall I collect for eight !
undred or what. how about sixty-four
ollars 1 paid out for cabbages.''
1t required great many letters back
nd forth before the Audit Department
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