Arizona republican., 1907-12-26

each individual to discharge the func-
 tions assigned. by announcing the per
 sonnel of the guests, their respective { spheres or activity in daily life and
 the official roles which they assumed yesterday
 1 The sporting cCitor was Mir. Peter
 s-n who daily deals in "kibbiges.
 spuds and garlic. The official cork butler was Joe Cassousinheiner. who
 earns his pittance by peddling collar buttons The dope dispenser was Mir. Whitmarsh who sells gas hy the foot land charges for it by the yard. MT.
 Pierson of the reclamation service was
 the athletic instructo-. It was his | business to tell how hard it is neces-
 sary to hit the government to get wat
 CT for this valley. Professor Stilwell
 posed as the theologian of the assem-
 bIy while Mr Clinton explained the finesse of the roulette wheel and the proper time to put the money on the
 red. He also explained that it is now
 necessary to go to Nevada to do it C.
 J. McElroy was the phcnograph. or in ether words he was in charge of the department of publicity. His routine
 work of selling real estate did not un-
 fit him for his Christmas job. Henry
 George posed as member at large in society" This was poor choice for Henry was corrslled and married off
 sometime agc. He is still in society though he IS not at large MT. Hoag. secretary of the beard of control rep
 resented the territory. He would have represented the whole United States if the committee had not limited him. Tom Prescott. city solicitor. represent ed the department of legality. He rem dercd opinions yesterday that Black stone never thought of. Mir Anderson owner of Burnut. t3:15 with d wind shield) held up the sport of horserac ing This was d bad choice for MT Anderson really knows something about the business.
 The official booster was Mir. Sprague of the reclamation service who told how rich this valley would be when everybody has d million dollars MT Green gave a talk as chief farmer. He said the best time to harvest the pumpkins Is when they are ripe and the most comfortable place to farm is on Washington street. Mir. Cook of the Phoenix National bank. was keep Ter of the eXchequer. He also kept ev- erything else he got hold of yesterday. The chief irrigator Was Mir. Schofield of the reclamation service. He said that officially the best thing to drink is water. Mr. Winslow who sells shoe strings for Goldbergs. gave d talk on the Y. NJ. C. A The official KibOsher was Red If he has any mere name it was not discovered bv the reporter but one cf the guests intimstcd that Red was an alias for John Doe. MT Osborn of the Noble building con structing force gave a delightful din- ner talk on garbage inspection. The Chief Ash Sitter was Mir. Scheu. He snecZed for the guests. Mir. Lautz. secretary Cf the beard of equalization. discussed antiseptics and their relation 10 territorial taxes. MT. Stambaugh was given the title Cf door knob pol isher. because he called sc many times when she was not at home. The Star Boarder was Pop Taggart. because he quit boarding and got married a short time ago. P A Tnaraldson represent ed the Standard oil. but MT Rockefel- Ter dcn't know it- and MT Downing posed as d chloral hydrate expert. Mir Kennedy cf the National Bank of Ari- zona. gave talk on finance. He ad yised everybody to take scrip who couldn't get anything else. George Driscoll gave a lecture on delsarte movements as utilized by a proficient shCrtstCp. His business as undertaken is suggestive of the hilarity of a ball game. Jack Adams was made musical director for the reason that he don't know a low register note from one that is overdue. or jewsharp from steam calliope. Mr. Ming was the met allurgist of the occasion. voted so be- cause he never takes any counterfeit coin. Altogether the party was one of the most jo-ful occasions of spurious vitHperation and slacderous invective that was ever pulled off.