davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-12
AXHAWKER .lOTS

Police duties at CoffeyvilIe are many.
judged by the following from the Rec
ord:. Chief of Police Kloehr was busy
this morning helping butcher twenty
head Of hogs"
Edgerton has organized Good
Roads association, the object of which
is to urge the maintaining of a better
system of public highways, and to en-
courage the farmers and all others in
the use of the road drag.
John Y. Uric, of Carbonate. went to
Texas to have a good time, hunting
He lost himself in a swamp, and the
rain fell in torrents for ten days and
when he finally reached a railway sta
ton he didn't do anything but take a
train for Kansas.
Society is headed perditionward, -
said an evangelist in Kingman during
the present session which is being held
in that city. Society may be headed
that way, but there is a chance that
society may be roped and headed for
the "Pearly Gates"
DR.. Erwin, of Harper, thinks he owns
the oldest pipe in the state. 1t was
made more than $50 years ago in Den
mark and Is valued by the medic at
800. This pipe is Of meerschaum and
is mounted in solid silver The bowl Of
it is five inches high and four inches
across. but taking the stem out of 1t
one is surprised that it weighs so little
The stem is flexible and is about two
silk.
A big, young coyote hangs in front
of Cochran & Sons meat market at
Winfield. a capture made with dogs in
a hunt by Ray Cochran. Duke Hanna
and VIII and John Weakly north of
town. They had an exciting chase and
the coyote made a desperate fight when
finally overtaken- One greyhound has
bad foot from getting it in the Jaws
of the dying wolf where 1t remained
until the men cut the jaw muscles after
the beast was killed.
J. r Taylor, Of Atchison is a candi-
date for some medals for minding his
own business He drove a travelling
man to Doniphan last week and during
the entire drive, neither of them spoke
a word. Mr.. Taylor had received word
to meet the travelling man at the depot
When the train arrived the man walk
ed out of the depot and simply in
Quired if that was his rig. He climbed
in and the two started off. He never
even asked how far Doniphan was Mr.
Taylor saw the man wasn't inclined to
talk and kept still himself.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-12
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.

TFrom the Philadelphia Record.1
mere matter of taste-the palate.
Even the blind beggar feels that he has
object in view.
No Maude dear; q deaf mute artist is
not necessarily sign painter.
Misery loves company. but it's a rule
that doesn't always work both ways
While some men put lot of steam into
their work others are content with not
air.
Some people make a mountain out of a
molehilI, while others are satisfied to put
up a bluff.
Even a woman has to pay for her ex-
pertence. but she generally wants hers at
bargain rates.
Even when a fellow commits suicide by
going over Niagara Falls someone will
say there was woman at the bottom
of 1t.
If you don't get the best of it make the
best of it.
Many a man is buried in oblivion long
before he is dead.
You can save yourself lot Of trouble
by not borrowing any.
It would seem impossible for the bach
elor of arts to be welded to his art.
From a feminine point of view a secret
vice is to know a secret and not tell 1t.
Every man to his trade The farrier
can dock a horses tail much easier than
he can dock a ship
true friend Is one who sticketh closer
than a brother, or. in other words, as
close as a porous plaster.
Nell-"Maude says young Mr.. Gotrox is
her mutton" Belt wondered what
made him look to sheepish.
The difference between an eDithet and
an epitaph is that one is applied to a
man before he is dead and the other
after.
Muggins-'T am worried about my son
William He is so unsettled" Buggins-
"Oh, don't let little thing like an unset
tied Bill worry you
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-12
TWO ,MERICANA MEN.

Beeg Irish cop dat walk hees beat
By deeS peanutta stan,
First two, tree week wen We are meet
/ Ees call me "Dagoman."
An wen he see how mad / gat,
Wheech eesa please heem, too,
Wan day he say: "W' ats matter dat,
Amt 'Dago' name for you?
Watts 'Mericana name, you know
For man from Eetly?
Eet eeS no harm for cal you so,
First time he talka deesa way
am too mad for speak
But nexta time I justa say
All righta, Meester Meeck!"
o. my. I nevva hear bayfore
Sooch langwadge like he say;
An he don't look at me no more
For mebbe two, tree day.
BUT pretta soon agen see
Dees beeg policeman
Dat com an smile an say to me:
Hello, Italian!
New, mebbe SO you goin' deny
Dat OATS a name for you"
smila back an max reply:
NO, Irish, dat'sa true"
Ha! Joe" he cry, you theenk dat we
Should call you 'Merican?"
OATS gooda 'nough." say, for me,
Eef OATS what you are, Dan"
So now all times we speaka so
Like gooda 'Merican;
He say to me: Good NORMA, joe"
( 1 say: Good morna. Dan"
Catholic Standard and Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-12
MUSIC IN SICK ROOM.

Should the suggestions of DR..
George M. Stratton, professor of ex-
perimental psychology in Johns Hop
kins university, be put into practice,
hospitals would have decidedly less
terrors for those who are Ill. Instead,
there is many a healthy man who
would be glad of the chance of taking
@ weeks rest within their walls. DR..
Stratton declares that music will be
a vital factor in treating the sick in
the near future. He expresses the
opinion that nurses should be pleasing
singers and should busy themselves
about the sick rooms to the accom-
paniment of humming some old ia
miliar tunes. My, but won't the hos
pitfalls be popular places when the al
ready attractive nurses go their
rounds warbling sprightly melodies.
During the course of an address he
delivered a few days ago before more
than one hundred nurses OF the hos
pitfalls of Baltimore, DR.. Stratton said:
physicians have all agreed that
there is nothing more helpful to a pa
tient in a hospital, or even in his
home, than melody of some kind. The
singing or humming of some familiar
tune is beneficial. Experiments have
liable in being able to produce that
sereneness of mind so essential in the
life of a patient when he is GONZALES
cling. When one lies helpless upon a
bed his emotions are brought to the
surface. Oftimes they are in a tur-
MOL, and many times they drift along
in channels which are not good for
them. In other words, a person sick
becomes depressed and sad. He takes
a rather gloomy view of life, and de-
spite all your talking and words of
cheer that you bring to him some of
them never are wholly free from this
state"
Seriously considering these sugges-
tons, however. 1T would appear that
they are most valuable ones. If gem
orally accepted and carried into prac-
tice they would mean revolution in
the methods now employed for train
ing nurses. OF course 1t would not
mean that every nurse should be
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-12
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

r
We all have our troubles. What's yours
Matrfmony Is a good school for teach
ing meeknesS.
It's a good thing to be good. but don't
be good thing.
Happiness of some good people doesn't
show on their faces.
A wise husband is one who brags about
his wife's cooking.
There are more ways thar one for
woman to have her own way.
If a man is healthy he can afford to
take chances on health food.
1t sometimes happens that a self-made
man is unmade by woman.
There is more genius floating around
than there Is plain common sense.
The less religion man has the more he
thinks his wife ought to have.
When trouble drives a man to drink he
begins to look around for more trouble.
It sometimes happens that a man
doesn't show bad taste in dressing be-
cause he can't afford it.
And what a lot more happiness there
might be in this dizzy old world IL love
would only remain blind after marriage.
Shortly after marriage woman dis
covers that her husband has to have
something to grow1 about, SO she ceases
to pay any attention to him
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-12
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Some girls have all of fifty cents
worth more color than others
= = -
Iron is not always a great conduc-
tor Of heat as is evidenced by most
steam pipes.
Nothing seems to produce a sick
ness with a trust magnate quite so
readily as a subpoena to appear in
court and testify.
Many persons who try to tell a good
story make a failure Of it.
y 9
Second introductions are not neces-
sary when you have the money.
y =
1t doesn't take overly bright folks to
learn to love.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-12
HUNOR OF THE DAY

''The people lived wild before, ma am"
said the new cook. was very plain
We'll" asked her new employer, are
"Yez are, ma am, but in a different way.
Press p sne'F i''A AA am '''"'
Traveller (after waiting patiently for.
train for four hours)-shen no be comm
Yen Just bide a Wee While, an she'll be
byI-Punch.
truth" remarked the moralizer, but ev-
erybody isn't anxious to tell it."-Chicago
Daily News.
Experience is the best teacher" re
marked the man who INDUCES In trite
Yes" answered the skeptic. but occa-
siondally as in diStngn,shin ng,, oes dS,es
ton comes too late to be of any service"
Washington Star.
Back from your trip, EN-? Well, how
did you find New York;"
right train."-Cleveland Leader.
Adam was blaming the woman. There
explained. Considering his disadvantage.
ali agreed that he had met the RESPONSE
bllity as gracefully as possible.-New
But" said the clerical visitor, do you
not know that even prison may have its
bright slider"
Sure" replied the convict. "I know
it has.
''Ah, you can see that, them"
mot now, but / hope to some day. I
mean the outside. philadelphia Press.
"Chalmot, have just learned that your
mother found 1t necessary to punish you
yesterday" said Gunson, sr.
"Oh. dad, I'm a lesson ahead of you"
cried Gunson. jr.. g1eefully. II learned
that yesterday."-Harper' Weekly.
Miss Maloney-An' the wages? Phwat
Mr.. Meeker-Twenty dollars a month
and a runabout.
Miss Maloney-Divil foot fer liss than
twinty-two dollars an a Frinch limoO-
sane.-Puck.
Jealous Suitor-Of course he clasped you
in his arms when the boat upset?
Fashion Plate-No; Just the opposite.
Jealous Suitor-Just the opposite? What
do you mean?
Fashion PIate-why, the boat upset
when he clasped me in his arms.-Judge.
"Send me some money to get myself out
of this trouble wrote the Prodga Son.
land I'll promise to begin all over again"
Yes" muttered the old man, crumpling
up the letter in his horny fist. That's Just
what I'm afraid you'd do. Didn't expect
you to confess it, though. '-Cleveland
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-12
JOIN THE Y. NJ. G. A.

Substantial encouragement should
be given the workers of the Y. M. c.
A. tomorrow when they make a
whirlwind canvass of the city to Sc
cure sufficient new members and re-
newals Of expiring memberships to
make the income of the association
adequate for its needs.
Topeka's Y. M. G. A. Is really a
community proposition in every sense
of the word. Topekans provided the
means for the construction and equip
ment Of the magnificent home. which
the institution is provided with and
Topekans must necessarily be the
supporters of the institution. which
good work among the young men and
boys of the city.
There is no better way to help sup
port the association than by becom-
ing a member of 1t or retaining a
membership therein. From no other
institution in the city can a man or
boy accrue more benefits to himself
than from the Y. M. G. A.
In most cities Of the size Of Topeka
the Y. M. c. A. officials have to raise
a few thousand dollars by subscrip-
ton each year to get enough funds
with the membership fees to support
the institutions. It has not been
necessary so far in Topeka to do this
as the membership has been large
enough to provide all money needed.
This Is as 1t should be and the efforts
of the Y. NJ c. A. workers to main
tain this sufficient membership should
meet with a ready response from the
old members of the association who
have dropped out for one reason or
another and also from those who have
never taken advantage of the many
benef1cent opportunities which the as
ISOLATION affords.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-12

Media, q Calve or an Abbot, for DIR.
Stratton rightly believes that the SIM
PIE songs sung by a sweet voice, not
necessarily highly trained, are the best
for the sick room
Surely a nurse who can sing a ten
der little song in a soothing way is a
nurse who has sympathy in her heart
and big measure of kindness in her
soul, attributes which go to make up
the perfect caretaker of the sick. The
of ten be a good and gentle nurse, one
whose presence at the bedside would
help patient as much as the band
ages she placed, or the medicines she
administered. The nurse, who has no
music I'm her. is likely to be high
strung" and not capable of perform
ing such duties as hospital work re-
quires.
By all means let the musical test be
added to the qualifications of those
desiring to be nurses. Their judg-
ment could be depended on in the Sc
lection of songs to sing which would
be cheering to patients and appro-
pirate to the occasions. There is no
danger that they would fall into the
decidedly homogeneous ways of some
singers who visit the local hospitals
on Sunday afternoons and sing such
songs as "Rock of Ages" Shall We
Gather at the River" Lead Kindly
light" and other airs that are more
suitable for post mortem occasions.
Songs of this sort have anything but
a cheering influence on the afflicted.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-12
GLOBE SIGHTS.


[Frorn the Atchison Globe.1
Never work one friend in the interest
of another.
Ever remark the enthusiasm some men,
apparently smart. give to fool schemes?
The average woman has a superior way
Of saying: II never gossip with my SER
wants"
This is the grumble season. People fuss
about everything. whether 1t Is right or
wrong.
Riches don't amount to so much. Some
Of the happiest. most fortunate people we
know are poor.
A man may be so homely that the re-
milk pan, but he can marry.
An Atchison man who runs a lumber
yard says that his business dried up, as a
result of the financial furry, like a COW.
If you are determined to ruin your stom-
ach, why not do 1t with gravy instead Of
whisky? Gravy is good and whisky isn't.
Happiness rule for the family: II the
is made to feel that he ought to be.
says: II am eating something that disa-
IT'S his age.
Never joke with a busy man. To busy
man a Joke is so thin that he can see
through 1t, and recognize the idiot on the
other side.
we are rid of two worries: worry over the
proper celebration of Christmas and the
Fourth of July.
Nearly every day we hear Of some per-
son cured by Christian Science. having a
relapse People who do not believe in
Christian Science love to talk about such
things.
When a man hears a rap on his back
door he imagines all sorts of things and
hopes it may be something important bur
his wife, more practical, says: "Oh. It n
only the boy with the milk"
The gifts given young man at Christ
mas are as pretty as those hung on a
Christmas tree. but those given the Old
Man look more like the things hung on
the clotheshorse in the kitchen on Ironing
day.
Old fashioned hospitality is dead, due
to the high prices of everything that goes
on the table. 1t was easy enough vesrs
ago to ask guest to "sit up and eat
nearty put now when every mouthfui
a different story. "
Some widowers may be giddy. but not
al OF them. Goat Edwards has been a
widower three years, and is not takin9
notice any more now than he did the day
AFTER the funeral: II am not saying any
but 1 am satisfied as am" A''
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-12
KANSAS cOMMENT
POLITICS AND BANKS.

When business question gets into
politics, conservative men are apt to
accept the standpoint of the party in
stead OF the experience of the past.
Nothing prejudices business so much
as to have it get into politics, and the
banking business is the last that
should be forced to face the ballot
Dox. The demand for bank
guarantee law is coming from the
politicians who would ride into office
by that issue, and not from the bank
ers or the business customers of the
banks.-Wichita Beacon.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-12

Thomas E. Watson, Populist, who
sought the White House job. claims
to have discovered a law of the civil
war period which has never been re-
pealed and which permits the issu-
ance Of "greenbacks." He thinks 1t
might be a good plan to issue a few
of them
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-12

Some consolation may be enjoyed
over the fact that there is at least one
man who is not affected by the preva-
lent money stringency. His name is
Andrew Carnegie. He has just hand
ed 100000 to the Carnegie Scien-
tific institute. But, shucks, 100000
does not seem much If you say it fast.
1t takes just as long to say thirty-five
cents
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-12
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
[From the New york Pre,.1

lFrom the New York Press.1
The only good husband IL when n. ba.
a widow. ne ma
A man hardly ever knows he has mr.
posed to girl till she has done IL Tor
him. S a. hOE
A girls beau goes UP 100 per cent q,
value IN her eyes merely by roine do1rr
100 per cent in her fathers "n
One OF the disadvantages of having chill
dren Is you can only say cuss worSs -
fore them under your breath
woman can never understand how
locket doesn't keep her husband fro1s
catching cold. Aioa1
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-12

There is one charitable institution
in this city which is working along
proper lines. 1t is the Topeka Provi-
dent association Its efforts are di-
rected to helping the poor help them
selves. That is the right sort of char
ity and the people of the community
should give the officers of the asso-
citation all possible encouragement and
-Sx,41
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-12

Justice Brewers assignment to
membership in the National Ananias
club by its eminent organizer will re-
vive within him some memories of
the good old Kansas days when he
was a member. a charter one in fact
OF a club of the same name, which
fourished for a quarter of a century
in Topeka. 1t was quite as exclusive
as the one being promoted by Mr..
Roosevelt
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-12

There'll be something doing in the
way of talk in the senate chamber
soon. The solons of the nation are to
take up the money question in a short
time. Maybe they'll take some
action on the question, but
maybe they'll confine their activities
to talk. This is one of their illuminat-
inc ha
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-12

Possibly there is nothing new under
the sun, but how about the "chro-
matte appetite which has been de-
veloped by a New Jersey man? He
has lost his sense of taste but has
learned to satisfy his diet through
q color scheme. He has stimulated his
Imagination to such an extent that he
finds dining an endless Joy and par
ticularly delectable when the colors of
his food are red, white and yellow.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-12
COMING UP IN THE WORLD.

If anyone doubts that America is
coming up in the estimation of the
world, let them consider that the
daughter of an American millionaire
Is to marry real count-perhaps a
noaccount-and Is not to pay him any
money for the privilege. This would
seem to indicate that American wom-
anhood Is getting on a par with the
bum nobility of Europe.-Larned
Chronoscope.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-12
BOUQUET FOR MCPHERSON.

Judge Smith MCPHERSON, Of the
that the writer of obscene letters is
about the poorest excuse for a citi-
zen ever produced by this country,
and when a man of that description
appears before him, the sentence he
gets scorches him. 1t may be added
Inat the judge is decided orna-
ment to the bench-Emporia Gazette
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-12

onade and peanuts. He would be a
curiosity worth gazing at. If he could
make this diet popular the circus
butchers" would have plenty to do
all the year round. In fact they would
soon put the grocery stores and meat
markets out of business.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-12

If the officers Of the Kennel club
have any luck in putting stop to the
practices of poisoning ard stealing
dogs, great will become their names
and equally great will be their re-
wards, it is hoped. No more nefarious
practices than these are known among
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-12
PROBABLY HE DOES.

Joseph l. Bristow OF Kansas Is on
his way to New York to meet Secre-
tary Taft when the. latter returns
from Europe, and will make his re-
port in the Pacific Steamship COM
pany's monopoly of the Pacific trade
after a few weeks more of investiga-
ton. If President Hartman were
Kansas politician he would see in this
incident something both "ominous"
and "signif1cant''-an it is likely that
he does, anyway.-Kansas City Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-12

That it is a hard proposition to
please some people is made evident
again by the attitude of the indepen-
dent oil men in asking the attorney
general to dismiss the proceedings he
has instituted to GUST the Prairie Oil
and Gas company, a tentacle of the
Standard OIL trust, from doing busi-
ness in this state
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-12

Eugene Zimmerman appears to be
rubbing 1t in on his daughters duke
one Manchester. The railroad mag
nate controls the ducal purse strings
SO he has had no trouble in insisting
on being permitted to lease for his
own use the ancestral halls of the
House of Montague. He has sent
His Grace and family to a smaller and
less elaborate country seat. Isn't this
going a little too far?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-12

Harry Orchard is again telling the
terrible story of his career of crime.
Everyone is glad 1t is an old story and
therefore not worth printing again. 1t
is tale of horrors such as should be
disseminated as slightly as possible.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-12

National lawmakers are idle while
Mr.. Cannon thinks. This custom of
marking time until the speaker ap-
points the house committees Is costly
to taxnavars
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-12
MIXED THE SEA SONS

Gov. Vardaman says 1.-The republic
Is tottering to its fall" He must
have his seasons mixed. for the re-
public is really staggering to it's win
ter.-Kingman Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-12

Bridge co1lapses are becoming quite
as frequent and fraught with as great
fatality as mine disasters. It's high
time for engineers to use more eau
ton or attain more skill.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-12

With the resurrection of blue laws
and blue coats to enforce them. To-
peka ought to experience a decidedly
blue Sunday when December q gets
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-12

BY all means should the Midwinter
Fair management bring to Topeka for
exhibition purposes. the Illinois man
who has lived for two months on lem
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-12

Winter weather may have arrived
but winter has not There is no such
thing as a winter without snow.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-12
HyDRAIuJc METHODS

to "Pump in European immigrants;
pump them in" Judging from the
number of Canadians who move to the
United States the main trouble is to
control the stream after the pump has
been applied.-St. Louis Globe-Demo-
Graf