Alaska sentinel., 1907-08-29
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 Tcast-Are all the rooms in your fat lightf Crimsonbeak-O yes; we have gas in 'em all ll-Yonkers States man.
 Fatigued Philip-Did dat iady t'row boilin' water on youse7 Wandering Walter-Worse'n dat, Phil-worsen dat It wuz soapsuds.-Cleyeland Leader.
 "Sir, I want your daughters hand" You may have 1t with the greatest pleasure, dear boy, If you'll take the one that's always In my pocket"-Bal- timore Sun.
 She-Have you ever written any po- etry? He (proudly)-I had a sonnet once In one of the leading magazines She-No, but I mean any real poetry. -Somerville Journal
 Dyer-What did your wife say when you told her you wouldn't be home till late? Rownder-I don't know. hung up the receiver as soon as was through talking.-Brooklyn Life.
 How do you know he is used to re- ceiving letters from that girlf" Be cause" answered Miss Cayenne, "he knew immediately where to look for the second page"-Washington Star.
 Strong-minded Old Lady (to the new vicar's wife)-Oh, yes, mum, I've lad my ups and downs, but never 'ad what you may call a serious trouble. I've only lost two husbands Punch.
 .Nell-Maud says she has had seven teen proposals this year. Belle-I didn't think she knew So many men. Nell-Oh, sixteen of them were from Chollie saphedde.-Philadelph Rec ord.
 Tommy-Pop, was writing done on tablets of stone in the old days? Tom my's Pop-Yes, my son. Tommy Gee! It must have taken a crowbar to break the news.-Philadelph Rec ord.
 Old Hunks-Didn't you marry me for my money7 Answer me that, mad am! Mrs. Hunks-Certainly did And we'd get along just lovely If you were not 80 stingy with it-Chicago Tribune
 Fortune Teller-Beware of a short, dark woman with a fierce eye. She Is waiting to give you a check. Visitor (despairingly)-No. she ain't She's waiting to get one from me. That's my wife.-Baltimore American.
 "Chumpley's auto got away from him and ran fourteen miles on a coun- try road" "I'll bet he was mad" No, he was tickled. He said 1t was the best run his car had made without adjusting. g."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
 "Where," asked the tenderfoot, was the last man killed here? He ain't been killed yet" replied Arizona Al. There's goin' to be at least one more killed as soon as him and me comes face to face."-Chicago Record Herald.
 "Yes, ma'am," the convict was say ing. "I'm here jist for tryin' to fat ter a rich man." "The ideal" ex- claimed the prison visitor. "Yes, ma'am, jlst tried to initiate his sig nature on a check" - Philadelphia Press.
 "Ah!" he sighed. "I have long wor- shiped you at a distance" "Well," she replied, coldly, If 1t Is necessary for you to worship me at all, I prefer 1t that way" And 1t was back to the boarding house for him.-Chicago Dai- ly News.
 She-Gladys is So sorry she took her engagement ring round to the jewellers to have 1t valued. He-Why7 Did he say 1t was too cheap? She-Oh, no. He said he would keep 1t for bit, as Freddie hadn't settled up for 1t yet Pick-Me-Up.
 Mrs. Stubbs-Land's sakes, John, there must be a great many barber shops in Wall street." MT. Stubs What causes you to think so, Mariaf Mrs. Stubs-Why, the papers say hun dreds of men are trimmed" there ey- cry day.-Chicago Daily News.
 Jones had a vegetable garden in which he took a great interest Brown, his next door neighbor, had one also, and both men were especially interest ed in their potato patches One morn- ing, meeting by the fence, Jones said: How is 1t, Mir. Brown, you are never troubled with caterpillars, while my bushes are crowded with themY My friend, that is easily explained" re- piled Brown. q rise early in the morning, gather all the caterplllars from my bushes, and throw them into