Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1907-05-10

nc IhIllloF N bNttpHk tue Uuch
porches. wonder whyT II don't
know. didn't ask him not to-
Cleveland Press.
lie (about II 80 p. m. III do wish
had money enough TO travel. She (stl.
ding Il yawn) May not lend you your
carfare Boston Transcript.
she--Do you think our ancestors
we're monkeys7 He-Mlne were. The
whole bunch didn't leave money enough
to buy toothplck Chicago News.
stelIa--I wonder why sentiment at.
taches 10 first klssi Bella--It's like
the first tooth; you've got to have II be-
fore you get the second.-Brooklyn
Life.
First Chauffeur-There's one thing
| hate to run over, and that's a baby.
Second Chauffeur-So do / them nur-
sing bottles raise Cain with tires
Puck.
Miss SwellIngton What prompted
Miss GolddIst 10 take that old bache-
lor? Miss Wellington (sarcastlcally)
--Kleptomania. ! guess.-Lipplncott's
Magazine.
Mrs. Newedde-CerfaInly you may
take some OF those biscuits to your
friend. Is he hungry. too? Weary
No. mum; he's a geologist New Or
leans Plcayune.
church.Does your wife spend much
OF her time shopping? Gotham-she
says not. She says she spends most Of
her time waiting for her change
Yonkers Statesman.
"Now, Johnny" asked the teacher,
"what do we see In the country besides
grass. trees and flowersT Patent
medicine signs !" was the prompt reply.
Louisville Courler-JourDal.
DUDLEY has an automobile, hasn't
heY" 81 don't know" why, l
thought you told me you saw him with
one yesterday ayes, but that was
Observation-Disclosures Press.
"what becomes of a joke when 1t
gets too old for the almanacf" "The
theatrical program gets it." And from
there It's but step to the musical
comedy. ehY-Philadelphla Bulletin.
Customer-So you sell these watches
at S5 eachr II must cost that much to
make them. Jeweler-lt does Gus
/ tomer--Then how do you make any
money? Jeweler-Repairing them
Stray Stories
The Widow want a man to do odd
Jobs about the house, run on errands ;
one that never answers back and is al
ways ready to do my bidding. Appli-
cant-You're looking for a husband,
ma ma'am.-Brooklyn Eagle.
Mr.. Borem-She asked me to sing,
and Insisted upon encore after encore.
Miss Pepper-Yes; she told me after
ward that anything was better than sit
ting there and talking to you all the
evening. Bits.
"wyndley doesn't play the cornet any
more, does he?" "No, he thought he'd
better give 1t up" bad for his lungs,
chr" 1T wasn't that. One Of the
neighors shot two keys OFF the instru-
ment while he was playing it."-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
"Has your wife got your den fixed
up yetg' "Yes. and you ought to see it.
It's the coolest place In the whole
house" "I suppose you find great COM
fort in It, don't your" "0h, she won't
let me go In It. It's merely to look at"
Milwaukee Sentinel.
young Jolllem always says the
right thing, doesn't he? He never
seems at loss for the proper reply
"well, saw him nonplussed once"
"How was thatT" "Mlss Keene asked
him II he thought she looked as old as
she was."-Cleveland Leader.
"Dld you ever succeed In swaying an
audience to laughter or tears at willT
"No," answered Senator Sorghum; 81
recognize the fact that all the worlds
stage. I don't care to be recitinc
speeches. | want to be one of the mer
in the box office, e,"-Washington Star.
Teacher-Now, boys, what is the vir
tue of magnanlmity? Puplls-Aw'
Teacher-What is 1t II a big boy want
ed an apple very badly, and were tC
meet a small boy with one in place
where nobody could take the small
boys part Glass with eager Il
lumlnation) Oats cinch !-Balti
more American.