davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06
Rx Proxy.

He was a man with large rotund
personality, and he stood at the head
of a large line of impatient men, wom-
en- and children who were waiting for
a chance to pay their fares and get
past the turnstile of the elevated raR-
way at Madison and Wabash, says the
Chicago Tribune.
He was searching leisurely in his
pockets for the necessary nickel, and
it wasn't in any of them. Finally he
produced a five-dollar bill, which he
slowly and methodically unfolded and
passed over to the monopolist inside
the ticket office. Dom his bastely
hide!" fervently exclaimed man with
a strong Tipperary accent, half way
down the line. 20, you mustn't talk
that way!" said a sweet feminine
voice directly behind him.; 'but thank
you very much!"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06
ONE OF WoMEN's CHARMS.
Sense of Reserve Said to Add Much
to AttractiVeness.

A woman, especially to be attractive,
must preserve a sense of reserve; she
must, so to speak, keep up certain
amount of mystery about herself.
There is a folklore tale of a woman
who, finding her married life unhappy,
went to a white witch for charm
against the trouble. She received a
flask flied with a colOrless liquid,
which she was directed to take and
hold in her mouth whenever she was
disposed to quarrel with her husband
She obeyed directions, and, delighted
with the effect of the charm, went
back to the witch for fresh supply
when that was exhausted. "The liquid
was merely water" said the wise
woman. "The virtue of the remedy
consists simply in holding your tongue
in keeping back angry answers" To
adopt the rule, says Woman's Life,
once given to a gushing. girl by a
friend who knew the world, Never
speak of yourself, and never say any
thing which is uncalled for" would at
first seem likely to make Trappists of
all the world yet it is to be ques-
toned whether, after all, the advice
was not wise. There always are peo-
pie who like to talk, whose favor is to
be won by interested listening, and
good listeners are rare.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06
Great Land Owner.

The Duke of Northumberland is the
largest land owner in England. His
estates stretch almost from sea to sea,
and he can ride 100 miles and not
once leave his own domain. In ap-
pearance he is tall and thin. with red
dish hair and flowing whiskers. He
is old-fashioned in manner, and shows
many of the attributes of a grand
seigneur. And he has all the pride
OF the Percys and keeps up to the full
their Olympian traditions. He was
once heard to say: You will have to
go long way back in our record to
find a Percy who was either idle or a
spendthrift." In religion he is an Irv-
ingite, like his father, and he has
converted the duchess to his own be-
lief.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06
NO JOBS FOR PLAIN GIRLS.
st. Petersburg Postoffice Service At
tractiVe, Sut Not Efficient.

The Slovo of st. Petersburg recent
Nv asked it's readers: Have you ever
noticed that the lady assistants in
the general post Office at ST. Peters
burg are almost without exception
good looking?" Most people might
consider this a mere coincidence, but
that this is not the case is shown by
Miss Petrowa, who writes to the news
paper to tell how two friends of hers
recently applied for clerkships in the
general post Office. After a time, the
application papers were returned with
a formal note to the effect that at
present there were no vacancies. The
returned documents, however, re-
yealed marginal notes which had been
imperfectly obliterated with rubber
One read: "She looks to be over 80,
is small, plain and fiabby" On the
other paper in microscOpical charac-
tiers were the words: "Old maid,
tall, bony." The Slovo asks what
might have been the marginal notes
on the papers of successful candidates
and who are responsible for them. 1t
adds that the selection of youth and
beauty for this branch of the public
service has by no means improved the
unsatisfactory condition of the gen.
eral post Office.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06

The old man looked refectively at
the brass tip of his wooden leg.
Then" he said, 1.-The surgeons took
me up and laid me carefully in the
ammunition wagon, and" Hold on,
captain" said a listener. you don't
mean the ammunition wagon. You
mean the ambulance wagon" But the
captain shook his head. NO" he in
sisted; Il was so full of bullets that
they decided l belonged to the ammu-
milton wagon"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06
WHIT Mere Could Be Asked?

home l saw your advertisement in the
paper" said "Ozzy" Hitchcock, as he
entered the office of the New Notion
company in his Sunday suit, his boots
creaking at every step. I'm here in
the city to get work" Il hardly think
you're just the man we need now" and
the clerk in charge surveyed his caller
with an unfatterfng gaze. You spoke
Of wanting a young man with a good
address, said "Ozzy," in his loud,
clear di2trict-school voice Il guess
Laneville, n. H, is as good as any you
could find, and father has the only
store in the place. Youths Com
Ianiou.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06
At the Literary Club.

"How did everything come off at
the literary last night?' well, the
harbecued beef was tiptop, an the
Brunswick stew couldn't be beat,
while the corn Ticker had enough
beads on it to make pearl necklace
look SICK "But-was there no lit
erary dfscussion?" "Lemme see, now
Il believe the president did hit the
vice president side the head with a
copy of Bunyan's Pilgrims Prog
ress. Atlanta Constitution.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06
KNEW BETTER THAN THAT.
City Youth Could Believe Much but
There Was a Limit.

The younger son of a well-known
politician of Chicago has spent pretty
much all of his life in the big city by
the lake, and, consequently, knows lit
tie of country ways and things. Not
long ago he visited man he had met
in Chicago, and who maintains a big
farm near Cairo, whittier he had in
sisted the youngster come for a
lengthy stay. One day the Chicago
youth was wandering about the farm,
closely examining the top, ends and
sides of a certain trim, well-m2de OBJ
ject fenced round in the paddock.
What are you searching for, Jimmy?"
asked the owner of the place, with a
quizzicSl smile Where are the doors
and windows?" asked Jimmy. Doors
and windows Why, Jimmy, that's a
haystack. Look here, old man. ex-
claimed Jimny; Il may be only a
green person from the city, but you
can't bluff me that way. Hay doesn' t
grow in Jumps like that!"-Harper's
Weekly.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06
RELIC OF SCOTTISH QUEEN.
Enelishman Owns Handbag Once
Property of Unfortunate Mary.

In the possession of DR.. A. F. Ger
main of Brighton, England, is beau
tfful embroidered little handbag. 1t
is an interesting relic of a bygone
time, and figured in a famous scene.
When the unfortunate Mary, queen
of Scots, was led to execution this lit
tie satchel of violet velvet formed
part of the costume she wore. 1t
contained a rare and costly handker-
chief AS she passed to the block,
Mary took the dainty handkerchief
out and handed the bag to her favor
tie attendant, Lady Jane Douglas. she
cherished It ever after as memento
of her lamented queen. The little
bag is made more interesting and
valuable by the fact that Queen Mary
herself embroidered and made it. The
needlework is very beautiful and rare,
being peculiar to the time OF the
beautiful young queen. Until recently
the bag has been in the possession OF
the Douglas family in Scotland, be-
ing kept at Castle Dumfries among
the family heirlooms. A late Lady
Douglas presented it to a favorlte
brother-in-law, Sir William Watkins
Wynn, and this gentleman, realizing
the appreciation of DIR. A. F. German
for this interesting relic of the un-
fortunate Queen Mary, gave it to him,
and it is still in his possession. The
lag is priced very highly by DR.. Ger
main, and he keeps it in glass case,
with a descriptive historical note at
fachPd to If
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06
They Moved Down to Boston.

Mrs. H. G. Wells and other grown
UPS have had their merry gibes at Bos-
ton. but here is little miss whose
unconscious irony puts their best eff
forts to shame. why" asked Doro-
thv the other night on going to bed;
"why can't we see fairies?" BE
cause they do not live in the fields
and woods here any more" replied
her nurse. where are they, then
in heaven?" Perhaps So" ooh, l
know" said Dorothy after a moment
of silent thought. "The angels got
tired of their old mansions in the
skies. so they let the fairies have them
and moved to Boston. Judge.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06
Fritz on the Dachshund.

Little Fritz was told to write an es-
say on his favorite dog and he wrote
the following on the dachshund: Der
dachshund vas a German dog dot
looks like a bologna sausage nit legs.
Vonce fader had dachshund dot vos
so long ven ut ran arount der block
ut had to hold up its head to keep
from running over uts hind legs. Der
dachshund vas an obedient dog, but
ven you call him to come quick he is
always long He can't help ut-he
vas born dot way. Above all, der
dachshund YES der only member uf
der dogs family whose breath comes
in long bants. All der rest Games in
short bants. Hurrah for der dach-
shund!"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06

There are trials and tribulations
of all kinds that man has to contend
with through life. Meet and over
come them, look pleasant and re-
frain from using ''cuss" words
signifies a christian spirit which will
undoubtedly be rewarded in the
hereafter. Some trials are greater
than others and the reward will
probably be in proportion. To the
man who uses a gasoline engine and
a fountain pen and goes through
life without using language, at
times, that would not sound
well in polite society, should
be awarded the blue ribbon.
There is nothing so contrary
nothing that hasn't reasoning power
that can wait until the time when
its use is an absolute necessity, and
then refuse to work. Both will
perform their functions to the ut
most satisfaction when you have
plenty of leisure, but just at the
time when you are in position to
need either the pen or the engine
on a moments notice, and need
them badly, they will commence TO
act up. There are greater TRIALS TO
be borne than these, but none more
irritating.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06
DO BEST WORK AT NIGHT.
Quiet Hours the Proper Time for In
teIIectuaI Labor.

Prof Victor Hallopeau of the Paris
Academy of Medicine declares that
the best intellectual work can be ac-
complished between midnight and
dawn. "The true secret of hong con-
tinued, valuable brain work" he says,
is to cut the night in two. The
scholar, the inventor, the financier, the
literary creator should be asleep every
night at ten o'clock, to wake again at,
say two. in the morning. Three hours
work. from two to five, in the absolute
tranquility of the silent hours, should
mean the revealing of new powers,
new possibilities, wealth of ideas I'M
dreamed of under the prevailing sys-
TEN. From eight to eight or $50 sleep
again. Take up again the days work
the brain will still be saturated with
the mental fruits of the night vigil;
there will be no effort in putting into
practice or carrying further what was
planned or begun those few hours be-
fore. The habit may be hard to ac-
quire. but mechanical means of waking
at first will induce the predisposition."
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06
CHANCE FOR A HoME-RUN.
SchooIboys Comment on Absence of
Attraction of GraVitation.

A clever teacher, who has the power
of calling out originality in her pupils,
SAYS that she would have no use for
text books if she took time to answer
ala the startling questions asked in
the classroom. One day the attrac-
ton of gravitation was under discus
sion. when one of the boys said that
he didn't see any need of it, anyway.
ct seems to me-" said he, there's no
particular use in having the earth
attract things. Now, when the apple
fell, and made Newton think out the
reason for it, that apple might just as
we'll have stayed where it was until
somebody gathered it." 'You play
ball. don't you?" asked the teacher.
well, suppose you knock the ball
very high, what happens?" 1T falls"
But if there were no attraction to-
wards the earth, it wouldn't fall.
Don't you think that might prove in
convenient?" MY" cried the boy;
what a bully chance for home
run!"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06

Many young woman who de-
serves a good man for life com
panion, has jumped in at a tender
age and married Johnny and gone
through life embarrassed the rest of
her days. Johnny is all right as an
ice cream boy and as slot machine.
with which to get chewing gum
and bon bOns. but when it comes to
measuring up, in after years, with
men who do things, and whose
wives make up the budget of
satisfied ones. he is down and out
before the race starts. Girls, if you
must marry, and you would be
happy, be sure and marry a man.
o. at least what is going to be a
man sometime.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06

Learn TO laugh. A good laugh is
better than medicine. Learn how
to tell a story. A well told story is
a welcome sunbeam in sick room.
The world is too busy to care for
your ills and SORROWS. Learn to
keep your own troubles to yourself.
Learn TO stop croaking. IF you
cannot see any good in the world,
keep the bad to yourself. Learn to
hide your pains and aches under
pleasant smiles. No one cares
whether you have the earache,
headache or rheumatism. Don't
cry. Tears do we'll enough in
novels but are out of place in real
life. Learn to meet Your friend
with a smile. A good humored
man or woman is always welcome.
but the dyspeptic is not wanted
anywhere and is a nuisance as well.
Above all give pleasure. Lose no
chance in giving pleasure. You
will pass through the world but
once. Any good thing, therefore,
that you can show to any human
being, you had better do now; do
not defer nor neglect 1T, for you will
not pass this way again.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06
Quality of Trustworthiness.

People would try harder for trust
worthiness if they knew how lovable a
quality it is. When YOU know you can
rely upon anyone, that whatever they
undertake to do will be done, that you
car really pass over a share of your
load to them, you cannot help liking
them. On the other hand, it does not
matter how amiable men be, if thew
are forgetful, if they are unpunctual,
if they habitually neglect, they be-
come sources of such annoyance that
cne's liking is apt to die out.-W. r.
Mianll
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06
Over.Educated Girls.

The delicate organism and sensitive
and highly developed nervous system
of our girls were never intended by
the Creator to undergo the stress and
strain of the modern system of higher
education, and. the baneful results are
becoming more and more apparent as
the years go by.-Dr. r. w. Parsons,
in The Medical Journal.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06
Corean Patriotism,

The other day a Corean gendarme
went to the office where Subscriptions
toward the public debt are being re-
ceived, and having paid in his money
cut his finger and with the blood
wrote IN oath to support the move
ment to the best of his ability
Corea News.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06
The Blessed Old Maids.

No women have done more for hui
mainly and for the individual than
the old-maid reformer and the old
maid aunt There is none to whom
we owe a deeper debt of gratitude
and none whom we could not better
spare, says writer in the Cosmopoli-
tan. For be sure of this: God sends
old maids into the world to do
the work that the rest of us leave I'm,
done.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06
Tobacco for Soldiers.

In all Lord Wolseley's campaigns he
made it rule. where possible, to al
low each soldier one pound of tobacco
a month, which he considered a fair
allowance. In Italy the military au-
thorities recognize the weed as one
of the comforts essential to the
troops, and cigars are served out to
them with their daily rations.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06
EATING Stew THROUGH straws.

Doing as my Indian friends did,
seized in my turn a chunk of mutton
from the kettle and proceeded to eat
it. How l was to get my share of the
stew, however, could not conceive,
as licking ones fingers is a slow pro-
cess and inadequately nourishing. On
the floor table, however, was pile of
what looked like dark blue lead pen
ellis. The governor took one, stuck it
into the kettle and peacefully sucked
until he was satisfied. 1t was simply
sucking-not lemonade-but mutton
stew, through a straw. Then he care
fully proceeded to eat the straw. Suck
ing the stew through it had sOftened
and favored it for eating. l mastered
the game at the first trial, writes Fred
erick Monsen in the Craftsman, and
from chat time was a devoted adher-
ent to piki bread, as we'll as to many
other discs and customs of my good
friends, the Eopi.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06
Tobacco Smoke Poisonous.

1t is often said that tobacco smoke
is a powerful germicide. The COM
position of tobacco smoke is complex,
the principal constituents being oils of
a tarry nature. Nicotine itself is a
strong germicide, but the quantity Of
this poison in tobacco smoke is minute.
The oil matter which accumulates in
a tobacco pipe is highly poisonous, but
does not contain any appreciable guam
tity of nicotine, the chief constituent
of residue being a very poisonous oil
known as pyridine. Tobacco smoke
contains a decided quantity of carbon
mOnOXide, which is preservative and
which must possess germicidal prop
critics. Recently it has been observed
that one of the principal constituents
accounting for the germicidal prop
critics of tobacco smoke is the power
full antiseptic formaldehyde.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06
Worlds Finest Cigars.

The best cigars manufactured come
from Cuba, the tobacco for which is
cultivated in the famous Vuelta de
Abajo district. west of Havana. This
favored spot is on the banks of riv-
er, the nature of the soil being such
that in no other part of the world can
leaves of such excellence be produced.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06
Couldn't Be Done.

A colored preacher who had only a
small share of this worlds goods, and
whose salary was not forthcoming on
several occasions, became eXasperated.
AT his morning service he spoke to
his church members in this way:
Brethren and Sistern-Things is
not as they should be. You must not
'spects / can preach on nth an boa'd
in Heben. '-EXchange
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06
Insult to Injury.

Dentist-You know that more than
three months ago 1 supplied Baron
Won Hallstein with a full set of teeth?
Well, 1 went the other day to collect
the money which he owed me tor
them, and not only did he refuse to
pay me, but he had the effrontery to
gnash st me-with my teeth
Fliegende Batter.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06
PUTTING II Mildly.

You resent that critics opinions?"
Not at all" answered Mr. Storming-
ten Barnes. What l resent is his
esotistic presumption in considering
his opinions to sufficient Importance
-sorraDt their nuhlic eYnreScinn"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06
Wire Bones on Ships.

Wire ropes seem to belong to eleva-
tors and derrick rigging. and 1t is
something of a surprise, remarks the
American Machinist. to learn that
some of the Gloucester cod-hshing
schooners have been using them for
rigging for over 10 years.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06
WhiteWincesses

Women sweep the streets in Mum
ich They are conscientious workers,
cheerful and alert, and they seem to
enjoy it. Il have never seen more
wholesome, robust, cOntented working
women than the street-sweepers of
Munich" writes correspondent of
the Craftsman.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06
Joined the Dead at Their Meal.

in the nedical press is a story Of
man who believed that he was dead
and who for that reason refused to
take any nourishment. How can the
dead eat and drink" he asked, when
food was pressed upon him. It was
obvious that unless something were
done to bring him to his senses the
delusion must soon become actuality;
he would die of starvation. The
strangest ruse was tried. Half a dozen
attendants, draped in ghostly white,
cIept silently in single file into the
room adjoining his, and, with the door
open, sat down where he could see
them to a hearty meal. Here, who
are these people?" inquired the pa
tient. Dead men," answered the doc
tor What" said the other. do
dead men eat?" ITO be sure they do,
as you see for yourself" was the an
swer Well said the corpse, "if
that is so, III join them, for I'm starv-
ing" The spell was broken, and he
sat down and ate like 40 famished
men.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06
The Pace Gets swifter.

1t requires more energy for man
to succeed to-day than it required 20
years ago, more talent, more capital
of brains and faculty; the competition
is keener, the race is swifter, the life
is faster. Hence the list of sacrifices
to the Moloch of overwork
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06
Thrones of Kinq Edward.

Great Britain has at least half a
dozen thrones, of which three are in
London palaces, one in the house Of
lords, one in Westminster abbey, and a
sixth at Windsor castle. OF these the
most ancient is that in the abbey,
where each new ruler of the British
empire is crowned, says the New York
Sun.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06
Nat 2 Rotanist.

"When we were out automobiling
on the boulevard yesterday ] stopped
TO look at the rhododendrons." What
part of the car is that?"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06
Boil Your EIeas AWAY.

The flea is now accused of dissemin-
ating disease germs. Whether this is
true or not it is just as well to boil
your fieas and be on the safe side
Scranton Tribune.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06
,,'edBo

SO 9Jg 10 GuooIBq 9lIsoddo eWos 10
Nqpq M9u puBIq s.9I9ql MopuIM 9ql
QnO YooI nOG 9U!l HI9AH,, '9I9q4 s9A!I
oQM J9HJoM WnIs EIoA NON 9q4 pres
.'elBI GuB 4B cps 4sBH 9q4 no ep!oms
eoBI 20 J9SuBp qonm 4ou s.9IeQL,s
'sAILqL ss!qea sLsqM
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-06

Helping the Fallen.
1t is a kingly act to help the fallen.
Ovid.
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1907-06-26
HONORS FOR
MARK TWAIN
U. S. Ambassador Reid Also
Boasts an Oxford Honor
airy Degree
Special to Evening Teller.

Special to Evening Teller.
LONDON, June 26.-Mark Twain
and Ambassador Reid may now write
IL. D., oxford, after their names II
they SO choose. as the two eminent
Americans were among those honored
today by the congregation Of Oxford
university.
Among the other recipients Of hon
orary degrees were Prince Arthur OF
Connaught, Prime Minister Sir Hen
nv Campbell Zimmerman, Rudyard
Kipling. Lord Admiral Beresford and
Auguste Rodin. president Of the Inter
national society of Fine Arts. Several
Of the speakers OF the day briefly
touched on the many ties that linked
together the United States and the
United Kingdom.
In addition to the comforting OF tbs
honorary degrees. the day was made
memorable by the installation Of
Lord curzon into the chancellorship-
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1907-06-26

Teller want Ads bring results.
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1907-06-26

FOR . drink Of good old Book a
pacific. see Harry and BIN At tha
Tacoma.