The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-04-21

| ' are simply-out of place: that Is all Instead of auarreling with one an other, when they find that out. the, should congratulate one another or the discovery"
 And go out and celebrate the happ, occasion--with a little dinner together or box party or a violet lucheon. chimed in Kitty, with fine sarcasm.
 q see," I remarked. glancing criti. cally under the garden hat. that you have caught the spirit of my argu- ment"
 Spirit" exclaimed Kityy. pulling down the corner of her hat so as tc hide the cheek that was nearest me If you had a particle of spirit you wouldn't talk of breaking a marriage contract as you would a dinner engag- | ementv
 That's better" I argued dosgedly than breaking 1t as you would china plate or an egg and mussing things all up In the process. If you are going to | break 1t at all why not do 1t pleasant ly and politely. It's bad form to row about things nowadays, isn't it?' "Oh yes" laughed Kitty scornfully. If you've got wife and want to get rid of her don't be rude or boisterous. Merely write her a polite note or tele- phone her that you are sorry you can't keep that little promise you made at the altar, but Subsequent matters have arisen which prevent your being at home again, and you hope you haven't inconvenenced her and trust she can replace you without delay or difficulty, or"
 Kitty! Kitty! For heavens sake!" I rose and stuffed my fingers in my ears. Well" inquired Kitty with icy sweetness, isn't that a sample of a polite and pleasant parting-a throughly up-to- date"
 Tit isn't exactly what I meant I stammered, sitting down again and wiping the precipitation from my brow. But why couldn't we part with hus- | band or a wife at least as gently and l generously as we do with a, butler or cook, for instance"
 "whatr'
 When a servant leaves you" ex- plained. you give him a tip and re- l commendation. Why should you give dismissed wife or husband G black | eye or bad reputation by publicly repudiating him or her?''
 Kitty drew a long breath and re- | garded me with speeches. contempt. Tt would be better and kinder" I went on, with desperate defiance, ito l write out in neat hand on a piece of | monogramed notepaper something like | this, for instance:
 TO whom 1t may concern: It gives me great pleasure to state that MT. Cor Mrs.) John Brown when in my em-er-when attached to me, proved honest, capable and Industrious. etc. etc.
 "Of course," said Kitty cynically, you needn't mention that he had q chronic grouch,- or dyed his mustache or kicked the dog when he was angry, or crowded at the cook, or" ebo dicted to curtain lectures or curl pa pers, or women's clubs, or sick head aches, nor that her figure wasn't her own and her complexion came in q box and her hair in a bottle, and"
 T think it's growing very cool out here remarked Kitty, sitting up straight quite suddenly.
 It certainly seemed to be, I shivered little.
 Shall we-er-go in, or-cnange the sub1ect?" inquired Rccommodatingly.
 Divorce" said Kitty, ignoring my suggestion and gazing sorrowfully at the horizon with her hands elasped in her lap, lis not joke. It's a terribly serious thing"
 So Is appendicitis" l declared lean- ing back In my chair once more. But we don't condole with people who have come through the operation safely We congratulate them. We don't say: My dear fellow, I hear you just missed the grave We exclaim, old chap, how spry you're looking. YouIl soon be as | good as new""
 "As if." cried Kitty Indignantly, there was any comparison between divorce and appendicitis" They're both expensive" l retorted.
 ana only gone through with when it's a matter of life and death Besides. the man who clngs to an annoying appendix Is likely to come to grief ma the man or woman who clings to p oaiky horse or balky helpmeet is going to get thrown sooner or later and to get badly shaken up in the tum- ble. There's nothing but the operation to save you in both cases It ought | to be the last resort; but once under taken 1t should be submitted quietly. ne person who kicks and cries under the Knife or the decree only makes inc thing all the harder. That's why I | say Hurrah for anaesthetics and main less methods and"
 And that's why there nre 30 manv divorces nowadaysw declared Kitty warmly Its made too easy and at. | tractive." u " 'as they do for Castoriar' eu' T wish mother could hear vou, sho exclaimed spitefully. '''
 Heavens! She cant, can she?"r ,slad | Tn apprehension
 She belongs to an anti-divorce league" said Kitty ''o Shes welcome" said |
 ana she once said that I should never marry man, with her nermis- l sion, who even tolerats divoroo 70 ms ,i
 What"
 windna dna she been sitting behind that Winuow curtain all this time said hi''y' with malicious triumph