davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-19

rFrom the Philadelphia Record.l
The bride is a maid so true and also a
trousseau maid.
Too many fellows take their relaxation
out of bottle.
Sometimes a man loves himself for the
enemies he has made.
The people who believe most in luck are
those who never have any.
When pugilist gets the worst of it, his
face naturally wears an injured express
sion.
Some men are so anxious to wake I'm
and find themselves famous that they ac-
tually contract insomnia.
When a married man has any settled
opinions, it generally means that thew
have been settled by his wife.
ing" Cynicus-''Yes, I've noticed that VoI,
seem to amuse her immensely"
Nell-"Do you always say your PRAYERS
before you go to bed?" Beile-s'Yes In
deed, do. 1 sleep in folding bed an
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-19
AYHEW KER JOT.S

I A Junction City man will plant
twenty acres of watermelons this
spring. There is a good market for
| them at Fort Riley.
A Missouri Pacific special carrying a
| lot of brass collars" was ditched near
Comisky the other day. The fool en-
CINE jumped the track just as though
| 1t was hauling ordinary passengers.
Atchison Globe: This downs the
theory that double-yolk eggs do not
hatch. Mrs. James Johnson set hen
with thirteen eggs. The nest was in a
at it, and yesterday fourteen chickens
were Matched.
Speaking of discrimination. two
families who have just moved from
near Huscher to Chandler, Ok, saved
$40 a car by hauling their goods to
Clyde, the rate from Clyde to Chandler
being $50 a car and from Huscher,
800 though the haul is practically
the same.
Talk about land profits. or profits in
land! A real estate firm in Cimarron,
according to the Jacksonian, recently
purchased the equity interest in a sec
ton of school land on which only ten
per cent payment had been paid, the
consideration being $3.50, less than
$500 a quarter. In few days that
real estate firm sold that same section
of land $4,000! The land firm cleaned
up a profit of $3.50.
Another harbinger of spring, noted
by the Wellington News: A beautiful
red bird, perched on the topmost
bough of maple tree on West Harvey
this morning, and tried to split his lit
tie throt, singing to the great orb of
day as he peered over the horizon and
sent the first rays across the spires of a
still drowsy city. A true harbinger of
spring and life and growth. Welcome.
little redbird. we're dad gasted glad to
hear you chirp.
"clean up campaign in Wichita, and
one result of it is this paragraph in
the Beacon: "A man came in this
morning and said it would give him
pleasure to shoot any 'doggoned, fab
bergasted photographer the Beacon
sent shopping around his alley with a
camera 1t always struck US as being
an awful thing to shoot a man. This
violent citizen could save himself pain
full recollections of such a deed in
after years by cleaning up the alley
before April fifteen, when this artist
starts out"
The independence Reporter vouches
for this dog story: "Dr. Shelton has a
remarka Bile dog. 1t has learned to
climb a tree much as a monkey does.
light is a play with a rubber ball. One
day the doctor placed the ball in the
forks of a small tree and much to his
amazement Muggins proceeded to
climb the tree and began to dig in
with his hind feet. Slowly he began
to ascend until finally he reached the
ball and since then he has gained con-
siderable proficiency in tree climbing
Can any one beat this dog story?"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-19
JOURNAL ENTRIES


Just as a Topeka man had firmly
resolved to clean up the alley that
runs by his premises and make 1t
more respectable, gang of men came
along and dug the bottom out of the
alley to lay a sewer. 1t has not yet
been decided whether this was bless
ing CIR a visitation of Providence.
Pretty soon now the daily surprise"
that Mr.. Delmas or Mr.. Jerome springs
on the other side, will be a thing of
the past. At least it is to be hoped so.
. q
Like as not we will have a hard
time a year from now trying to recall
who Harry Thaw was and where we
heard the name
A Kansas man has just paid six
hundred dollars for a hog, said to be
the champion hog of the world. This
evidently does not take into considera-
ton the two-legged variety, however.
u
About time for some Beautiful
Spring" poems to show up in the waste
basket.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-19
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
[From the Chicago News.I

IFrom the Chicago News.1
Lucky is the man who loses his rep
utation-if it's bad.
Whenever a man angles for a pretty
girl he bats his hook with fiattery.
It's much easier to break into some
affairs than it is to back out again.
Truth is better than falsehood, but
false teeth are better than no teeth at
all.
Often a mans success Is due to his
asking many questions and answering
none.
Many an author burns the midnight
oil in a fruitless attempt to enlighten
the world.
Some men who never studied phar-
macy are skillful druggists when 1t
comes to drugging conscience.
And others pose as earthly saints
because they are too stingy to pay the
price of an occasional good time.
After a man and woman have been
married few months distance begins
to lend enchantment to their views of
each other.
Never judge a man by his looks.
Many a man looks as if he had lust
been caught in the act of stealing corn
from a blind hog.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-19

Every yard ought to have its shrubs.
says Eben E. Rexford in the Home
Magazine for March They give to it
charm which nothing else can supply.
On very small grounds they take the
place of trees very satisfactorily In
deed, they are preferable there because
they are not likely to outgrow the linn
its assigned them, as trees will, in time
and they do not make shade enough to
bring about the unsanitary conditions
which are almost always found to ex-
list in small places where the trees have
made strong development Shade is a
pleasing feature in summer but there is
such a thing as having too much of it.
We frequently see places in which the
dwelling IS almost hidden by thicket of
trees. and examination will show that
the house is always damp. and that the
occupants of 1t are unhealthy Look at
the roof, and you will be likely to find
the shingles covered with green moss
The only remedy for such a condition
of things is the thinning out or removal
Of some of the trees and the admission
of sunlight. Shrubs can never be
charged with producing such a state of
things, hence my preference for them
on lots where there is not much room.
Vines can be used upon the walls of the
dwelling ard about the verandas and
porcl es in such a way as to give all the
shade that is needed. and, with a few
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-19
GLOBE SIGHTS.
tFrom the Atchison Globe.1

the AICh1SOn ClODe-
How many things there are in a
grocery store you never will call for!
Ever remark how prices tumble
when you have a good supply on
hand?
An Atchison woman has given up
reading the Thaw trial for a Lenten
sacrifice.
Here Is a stereotyped remark you
hear frequently from croakers Ibid
you ever see so much sickness 2"
Troubles always look small after we
have passed them; particularly the
awful ones we faced in our youth.
When a man has taken the Kelley
cure, or a woman has been married
twice. they do not care to talk about it.
Il am in favor" said a brakeman
today, "of doing without a superin-
tendent, and putting on three more
section men,"
If suppression of the press ever be-
with his little hammer for the fashion
magazines.
Every man but the preacher be-
lieves he is engaged in the line of
work which makes the greatest strain
on the third commandment.
The average man has a good many
worries. but the prospect of beeom-
ing so successful he will be attacked
for that reason isn't on his list.
Never pay a man written compH-
words to criticise, but there's the
spelling, the periods and the commas.
The insanity plea is becoming so
popular that men who are apt to get
into trouble shouldn't be too harsh
with their wives for preserving the old
love letters.
There is this differences: After a
woman has been married a year or so,
IL she does any gazing out into the
night" the thoughts she is thinking of
a man are not in the least poeticai.
A Cleveland woman. in asking for
a divorce, says she is tired of hearing
her husband say: 'Oh, fudge." And
IL the judge swears like most men do
he will agree the woman has ample
reason for her demand.
They tell of an Atchison girl so Pure
and Lofty in her thoughts that she will
leave the room when anyone begins to
gossip. and will not listen. But as
soon as she is outside the room she
stops and puts her ear to the keyhole.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-19
Bull Kills a Matndor.

Bull fighting in Mexico has had it's
first death.
Antonio Monies. favorite natador,
had had trouble getting one bull, ma
tive Mexican product, into q good posi-
ticn for the final thrust When he did
so, after much maneuvering. he him
self was backed up against the wooden
fence which surrounds the ring.
He kill the bull beautifully but in
the animals dying rage the bull
caught and threw the matador three
times infiicting the fatal injuries.
After preparing the body, for ship
ment back to Spain, where all good
bull fighters come from and where
they are always buried. it was placed
in the chapel of the Spanish cemetery
in this city where, through the care
lessness of the guard. the candle was
allowed to fall over and set fire to the
draperies. burning down the chapel
and cremating the body.
Aside from the natural interest In
such an event and the dramatic feat-
ures of the fight, death and cremation,
it was one of the most interesting
sights to see the crowd of Mexicans
Of all classes. from the highest to the
lowest, which hung about the house
where the dying favorite lay.
The crowd was never less than 2OO
and often greater than 200, most
interesting commentary on the state
ment, often heard, that bull fighting as
a sport is on the wane in popularity
here. However, some little agitation,
backed by well-known people has been
begun looking toward a permanent
closing of the bull rings-Modern
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-19

really fine specimens of shrubs scat
tered about the grounds, trees will not
be likely to be missed very much. /
would not be understood as discouraging
the planting of trees on places where
there is ample space for their develop
ment. A fine tree is one of the most
beautiful things in the world. but 1t
must be given a good deal of room, and
that is something that can not be done
on the small city or village lot. 1t
takes years for tree to grow to good
size, while a shrub will-or ought to, at
least-be in its prime the third or fourth
year from planting, and generally af-
fords a satisfactory degree of pleasure
to its owner from the-start.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-19
A seren-doIlar Bill.

A. E. Lowry, of Norwood, has a
seven-dollar bill of the colonial issue,
now considered one of the rarest
pieces of money that was ever put in
circulation in this country. 1t was the
property of Mr.. Lowry's mother, who
died recently, and it was found in an
old chest among her treasured effects.
1t had been given her by her grand
father, who died at green old age.
The bill is the color of ordinary
book paper of the cheaper and finn
sier variety, musty with age. The
letters on it are remarkably we'll pre-
served, as is the bill. 1t was issued in
July, 1916. only a few days after the
signing of the Declaration of 1ndepen-
dence. 1t is numbered S,447, and is
sued by the United Colonies. On one
side are these words:
This bill entities the bearer to re-
ceive seven Spanish milled dollars, or
the value thereof in gold or silver, ac-
cording to a resolution of congress at
Philadelphia, July 4, 1776." This is
Tigned by William Webb, secretary.
The bill bears a seal, in which noun
tains and clouds are printed in black
ink, with a cabin in the foreground,
and the word, "Serenarit" above the
picture The bill is three inches in
length and two and a half in width.
The reverse side of the money bears
half-effaced printed letters that cam
not be read with the naked eye.
Mr.. Lowry prizes the piece of cur
rency very highly, and has been Of
fered $500 for it.-Cincinnati Enquir-
err.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-19

Three Staten Island boys added a
thrilling chapter to the history of re-
narkable experiences and narrow es-
capes from death of adventurous
American boyhood yesterday. when
they were rescued from three cakes of
ice in the lower bay while rapidly float
Ing out to sea.
Half-froZen and exhausted but still
fearless, the boys were taken one by
one from the pitching ice cakes by
Capt. Richard Pearsan and the crew
of the tugboat Jacob Health. After
they had been thawed out in the stoke
hole, they were none the worse for
their three-mile trip on baby icebergs.
Charles Van Wickle, years old;
Frank Tyson, 10, and Thomas Simon
son. IL, all of Tottenville, were the he
roes of the polar adventure at home.
The three boys were playing near the
heavy ice banked about the Totem
Vile ferry slip, and, in a game of fol
low my leader" jumped from one cake
10 another. Each was on dinerent
cake. as fer out as they had dared go,
when a current of the swiftly-running
tide suddenly carried the ice cakes,
which had been loosened from the pack
by the impact of the boys jumping on
them. out into the bay.
When the three ice cakes, each cap
tanned by a surprised young adventur-
err reached the main current of the
tide. they headed for the open bay. as
sisted by a strong southwest wind.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-19
EROlN OTHER PENS


Dowie WAS a good executive, an able
organizer and a shrewd business man.
He had the secret of money making.
He landed in America penniless and
friendless, and he amassed, by highly
original methods, a large fortune in a
few years. The strange spell that he
laid upon the hearts of thousands was
difficult to analyse. New York which
he came in pomp to regenerate, could
never understand it. Dowie lacked
wholly that fine frenzy of self1ess and
inspired fanaticism which has confer
red a touch of real nobility on other
self-styled prophets of no less ridiculous
pretensions. He was, it is to be be-
lieved, less deluded than deluding. His
ambition seemed to be to feather his
own nest and he appeared to have his
reward.-Richmond Times-Democrat.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-19
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR,
[From the New york Press1

LFrom the New York Pressl
A poor way to get rich is to treat ev-
erybody fairly. w
ference between shoes too small and fni.
too big. anu teSt
There are other things besides siu,v
himself over. 'iouu OF
Inc way to catch people who are trvi,,,
to fool you is to make them think yyhissg
The thing that shakes you about u.
told 70 you is not what 1t does itself rs
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-19

of our Rognes' Gallery exhibit" II
call it bum show. "-Baltimor
| American.
Mabel-Let's play house.
Ethel-All right. Shall it be the six
lliaiilr IN Z. Sun. INC 90 -''"S Will"
And is your castle in Spain a sky
Yes. fourteen fairy stories high
Harper's Weekly.
Aren't you going to housekeeping
asked the friends of the swell young ben
No he replied. It can't lease the
house we wanted for less than a year, and
Times.
A strenuous executive had heard that he
was running the country according to
these kckers,' he instructed his secre9
tary, "and tell them that If they object
70 an -unwrltten eonstitution. IN write 1t
Observation-Disclosures Ledger.
Representative Mann of Eliniis is alb
sent-minded-so much so that it bothers
him a great deal Il can't, explain it," he
ries me great DEAL
..Oh, you're not absent-minded." Bou-
telle said: An absent minded man is one
who thinks he has left his watch at home
and then pulls 1t out of his pocket to see
Il he has time enough to go home and get
You say you can't live without my
mo, sir?"
Then you'd better stay engaged to her."
Life
They say that when an ostrich is sur
priTTed he hides ID his bead IN the sand
hide his tail there. observed the man
wh tS3n had jHst settled 5l99Idtcurding
Mrs. Bacon-I see some harps have been
discovered in Egyptian tombs the strings
of which in several instances were intact
and gave forth musical sounds after an
estimated silence of 5000 years.
Mr.. Bacon-I wish we could induce our
kind with their Observation-Disclosures
George" she said. before we were
married you were always giving me pres
ents. why, don't you ever bring me any
my dear" replied George. did you
ever hear of a fisherman giving bait TO
a fish he had L.. eagg g Then the kettle
Yes went on the lecturer. and there
stream I used to lie and think"
TN bet" bawled out chap IN the au-
dienee who used to know W. him, that y on
Baltimore News.
"why were you so anxious to send that
I'VE thought it 'ud be a good thing for
tossel ito have him where he could mako
speeches where folks paid to listen
instead O. interruptin' people at their
work around INSTRUMENTATION Star.
That's a remarkably clever excuse,
Henry" said his wife And 1 like it-like
it better than any you have ever given
me-"
what do you mean?" asked Henry.
IT mean that some you have given in
days gone by have seemed so plausible
that you worked them again and again.
This new one Is so impossible that don't
think you'll have the nerve to give it
more than once. milwaukee Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-19
shaving the Women.

In the very heart of the busy sec
ton of New York is a barber shop
which is open from to ~ o,clock
everv sunday. for the accommodatien
re women. who go there in flocks to be
shaved or have their hair shampooed
and dressed Until recently BARRIERS
visited the residences of bearded lad
IaniIotion Surely the privileges of
the fair are expanding.-New York
Press
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-19

/ New York has passed law to stop the
watering of stock, and Fred Trigg
points to it as another proof that New
York is getting "Populistic." Anything
that keeps the public service magnates
from doing as they please and plumber
ing the public at will is "Populistic"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-19

A sack of papers for the Burlington
was thrown Off at Norton a few days
ago for transfer. 1t struck a crane
and the sack burst, scattering the
contents. None of the rescued papers,
however, proved to be corresp
concerning rebates paid out by the
burlington
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-19

1t is announced that John D. Rookie
Teller is to give away fifty million dol
lars more. Pretty soon Mr.. Rockefel-
Ter will give away more than he is
worth If he keeps on at this rate. He
has only a patty three hundred mil
lions. you know, according to the
statements of his representatives
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-19

Grover Cleveland was seventy years
old last week, but he enjoys sitting on
the bank waiting for the fish to bite
almost as much as he did sixty years.
ago this spring.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-19

ferring to the recent state senate.
That depends. The politicians may
control the next Republican state con-
vention just as they did the last one.
The convention system is still in force.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-19

When Representative Crumley, of
Thomas county, went home after the
legislature adjourned, he had the mis-
fortune to get of the train by mistake
at Gem, a few miles this side of his
home. He walked the rest of the way.
Legislators have not yet been compelled
TO give up their tie passes.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-19

Now that the railroad managers
have decided to reduce the speed of
their fast trains, 1t is to be hoped that
the trains will be able to run on time
occa sfonaIly
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-19
THE FLAG.

The English are second to none in
loyalty to king and country, but it
would be hard to imagine the lords, or
even the commons, indulging in such
demonstration with flags as our house
Of representa- tives INDUCED itself in the
other day. If there are those of so Sc
we're taste as to dislike such theatrical,
or at least emotional. displays, they
must admit that they have their merits
at a time when displays of another sort
are so common as to need some check
New York Times
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-19
THE POOR BURGLAR.

Those Long Island burglars who had
to drag a safe weighing ton out of a
building before they could get at $3.50
also have their opinion of the grasping
greed of the rich.-Washingto Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-19

At any rate. the railroad magnates
are now willing to acknowledge that
they have been somewhat in the
wrong, and they will be at least half
way good in the future. That means
that the president has them badly
rad
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-19
Ut MIGHT HAVE REEN."

The Kansas legislature would have
made a far better impression if it hadn't
spent SO much of it's time backing up
its wagon to Mr.. Stubs front door an1
trying to deliver to him a cargo of
lemons.-Wichita Eagle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-19
Fish Knows Better.

A Washington man on a recent visit
70 q benighted section of South
western state was riding along the
honL of the river that waters that sec
ton. and, although he had gone some
twenty miles or SO. he had not In all
that distance noticed a single fisher
man. Meeting a man lounging near
soTne one fish in this river ~ "Atn't no
fish" was the laconic response OF the
native. mo fish in such beautlrul
river as this?" exclaimed the astonish-
ed Washingtonian. "Why not 2? Inc
lowered. "Stranger, eff you could get
outer this country as easy as hsh
can. do you reckon you'd be here p
Exchange.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-19

Now that the legislatures have adj
journed and the Thaw trial is over,
Kansas City expects to put In a happy
ssummer dreaming about its new union
denot
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-19

Another explanation of why "con-
lddence was restored" in Wall street is
that certain f1nanciers have now
bought back at low prices the stocks
they sold some time ago when prices
were soaring.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-19

The Prince of Wales is reported to
have been badly squeezed in the stock
market. Evidently Mr. Hartman did
not give the princes father the tip
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-19

/ 1t is pointed out that Mr.. Roosevelt
Is In harmony with the corporations on
one proposition: They are opposed to
his running for another term also.
land the Democratic leaders join in
this opposition.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-19

Fred Dumont Smith predicts that
government ownership of railroads
will come within ten years Senator
Smith has evidently been noting the
effect of Mr.. Harriman's deeds on the
nublic mind.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-19
NEW YORK.

Greater New York is supposed to be
a progressive and discriminating city
but there IS no other community of
any consequence that would patronize
or tolerate a bicycle race.-St Louis
Globe-Democrat.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-19

The Emporia Gzette is an anti-ma-
chine paper. but when the city electric
plant shut down the other day and put
all its machines out of commission,
there was an awful roar around theIGa-
Eette office.