Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-10-06
DIANA FORESTS PART.
CHAPTER XIV.
Diana Takes 0 Midnight Drive.

Some people apparently understand how
to be unhappy gracefully. as If it were a
kind OF fine art. don't. 1t seems too bad
to be true that should be unhappy. and
as il l must wake up to find that 1t was
only bad dream.
suppose I've been spoiled a good deal
all my life. Everybody has been kind to
me, and tried to do things for my pleasure.
just as / have for them; and have taken
things for granted-except. OF course, with
Lisa. But Lisa is different-different from
every one else in the world. l have never
expected anything from her. as have from
others. All wanted was to make her as
happy as such a poor. little piteous crea-
ture could be. and to teach myself never to
mind anything that she might say or do
But Ivor-to be disappointed in him. to be
made miserable by him! I didn't know 1t
was possible to suffer as I suffered that
day he went off and left me standing in the
railway station. l didn't dream then OF go
ing to Paris. II anybody had told me
would go, should have said, mo. no, l
win not" And yet did allowed myself
to be persuaded I tried to make myself
think that it was to please Aunt Lillian;
but down underneath knew all the time It
wasn't that really. 1t wa, was because
toned to doing every day. felt as II 1
should cry or scream, or do something
ridiculous and awful unless there were a
change of some sort-any change, but If
possible some novelty and excitement, with
people talking to me every minute.
Perhaps. too. there was an attraction for
me in the thought that 1 would be in Paris
while Ivor was there. 1 kept remind ng
myself on the boat and the train that moth
ing good could happen; that Ivor and l
could never be as we had been before; that
1t was all over between US for ever and
ever, and through his fault But. there at
the bottom was the thought that 1 might
have done him an injustice, because he had
begged me to trust him, and / wouldn't.
Just suppose-something in myself kept on
saying-that we should by mere chance
meet in Paris, and he should be able to
prove that he hadn't come COR Maxine de
Renzies sake, 1t would be too glorious.
/ should begin to live again-for already
I'd found out that life without loving and
trusting Ivor wasn't life at all.
He couldn't think l had followed him,
even If he did see me in Paris, because l
would be with my aunt and uncle and Lord
Robert West; and I made up my mind to
be very nice to Lord Bob, much nicer than
l ever had been. If Ivor happened to run
across us anywhere.
Then that very thing did happen, in the
Strangest and most unexpected way, but in
stead of being happier for seeing him, 1
was ten times more unhappy than oesora-
for now the misery had no CLEAN of hope
shining through its blackness.
That was what 1 told myself at first. But
after we na0 met IN the nalI OF tnt motel,
and Ivor had seemed confused and
wouldn't give up his mysterious engage
ment or say what 1t was, though Lisa
chaffed him. and he must have known what
l thought. l suddenly forgot the slight he
had put upon me. Instead of being angry
with him. l was afraid for him, couldn't
have explained why, unless it was the look
on his face when he turned away from
me.
No man would look like that who was
going of his own free will to a woman
with whom he was In love, that same queer
something whispered in my ear. Instead of
feeling sick and sorry for myself and des-
perately angry with him, it was Ivor felt
sorry for.
/ pretended not to care whether he stayed
or went. and talked to Lord Robert West
as If I'd forgotten that there was such a
person in the world Ivor Dundas.
even turned my back on him before he was
gone. Still 1 saw the tragic look In his
eyes and the logged set of his jaw. 1t was
Just as II he were going away from me to
his death. and his ace was like that OF
the man In Millais' picture OF the Huguenot
Lovers. I wondered II that girl had been
broken hearted because he wouldn't let her
tie round his arm the white scarf that
might have saved him.
1t Is strange how ones mood can change
in a moment-but perhaps 1t Is like that
only with women. A minute before I'd
been trying to despise Ivor, and to argue,
just as II I'd been a matchmaking mamma
to myself that 1t would be very good
thing II could make up my mind to marry