Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-07-21
ANSWERS TO
CORRESPONDENTS

I'm this column win he answered all question. of
. proper nature submitted TO The Star Inquirers
should write side only and address their let
tiers Uncle Jasper" Star Office. In case OF dim
cult %nt. eonnndrums answers may be delayed Tor
Tor all Qusstioners 10 watch this column carefully.
WINIFRED.-Do you think. Uncle Jas
per, that 1t is good form TO drink soda
water through a straw? Ave have never
gwen that matter much thought. Winnie.
Our acquaintance with the straw has little
relation to the soda fountain.
V. C. H.-Does Secretary Ioeb's rule that
all communications presented at Sycamore
Hill must be written apply to the big guns
who call? A.-Big guns are supposed TO be
capable OF speaking for themselves friend
POSSIBLY even Mr.. Loeb side-steps when he
sees one pointed his way
C1T1ZEN.-I have heard a great deal dur
ing the past few days about handbooks
Please tell me what they are A hand
book. sir. Is a device to separate you from
your money painlessly. 1t Is called a
handbook because you usually shake hands
with your cash when you pass 1t over to
the gentlemanly agent.
JOHN HI have often heard of the
SILLY season." / wish. Uncle Jasper that
you would tell me when II begins and when
It ends. A.-With pleasure. II usually be-
gins about the first OF June and ends the
last OF September. With some people, how
SNeI, ~ ID
HUNGRY.-Now that DR.. Wiley says pie
Is harmful and DR.. Oser denounces soup.
what Is left for us to eat? A.-Gve us
plenty OF steak and onions and a few
loaves OF bread and we'll manage to make
a meal.
PARTICULAR.-when are white socks
proper? A--When they are fresh from
the laundry. dearie.
NJ X. LII should Judge by the portraits
of the ex-Emperor of Korea that he is a
very small man. Do you know whether 1
am right or not? A.-You are right. He is
very short man. But II he had not
ducked when he did he would probably
have been a head shorter.
ANNOYED-I am pestered almost to
death by the people who persist I'm talking
ture is in the nineties. Give me some ad-
vice. A.-When you are approached on this
subject turn the conversation delicately to
the question of whether your friends
grandfather was horse thief or pirate.
If this doees not distract his attention ask
him IL he has paid his board bill. II he still
insists In boring you reach suddenly for
his solar plexus, and then in court plead
justification. You'll get or scot free.
Sing song of summer.
Sing song of heat:
Chant a lay Of asphalt
Melting in the street:
Marble tunes of soft drinks
Lit of lemonade:
Might well be cheerful
At hundred in the shade.
BENJAMIN.-Was any harm done by the
lightning experienced in this city the other
day? A.-None at all. Benny. All the
presidential possibilities were out OF town.
r. A. N-what In your opinion will be
the dominant issue In the next presidential
campaign, Uncle Jasper? Aust now 1t
looks as though the temperance question
might have the call. with Vice President
Fairbanks explaining away those luncheon
cocktails and Speaker Cannon expressing
a preference for a julep over the game OF
golf. And nobody knows what may be I'M
der the lid that Secretary Taft is sitting
on from time to time. while Gov. Hughes
is kept busy handing out lemons to the
New York legislators. UNCLE JASPER