Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1907-11-07

| You're not afraid, are you?
Indeed I'm not. think it's glo
rious. Might | driver
"'If | can smoke says |, then you
can drive I'd heard about young wo
men who'd been brought up so tender
that tobacker smoke would ruin thei,
morals or something, and | kind OF
wondered if she was that sort.
THAT'S bargain says she prompt
But how you're going to light a cigar
in this wind | don't see
Cigarette says l. And if you
would kindly hold my hat until get
one rolled I'll take it kind of YOU.
but what about the horses?' says
she.
"'Put your foot on the lines and
they'll make. That's the main and
only art of driving on the prairie-not
to let the lines get under the horses
feet. All the rest is just sit still and
look at the scenery
'She held my hat for a windbreak,
and l got my paper pipe together
And then-not a match! | searched
every pocket. Not a lucifer. That is
more of what | got for being funny
and changing my clothes. And then
she happened to think of a box she
had for travelling and fished 1t out of
her grip.
Young lady, says, until it comes
to be your bad luck-which | hope
won't ever happen-to be very much in
love with man who won't play back
you'll never properly know the pangs
of man that's got all the materials
to smoke with except the fire. Now, II
l have chance to do as much for you
some time I'm there
"She laughed and crinkled I'D her
eyes at me. All right, Mr.. Saunders
When that obdurate man disdains me
I'll call for your help
1.-THE place for the man that would
disdain you is an asylum says l..
And the only help I'd give you would
be to put him there She blushed real
nice. l like to see woman blush
It's trick they can't learn.
"But l see she was put out by my
easy talk, so | gave her a pat on the
back and says: Don't mind me, little
girl. We fellers see an eighteen carat
woman so seldom that it goes to our
heads. There wasn't no offense meant,
and you'll be foolish If you put it
there. Let's shake hands
$50 she laughed again and shook. |
mean shook. 1t wasn't like handing
you so much cold fish, the way some
women shake hands. And Logs and
me, we were full pards from date
II made one more bad break on the
home trip.
"Jonesy will be powerful glad to
zee you,' says 1.
Jonesy| says she, surprised.
Jonesy? Oh, is that what you call
Uncle AlbertY
"'Well, it does sometimes happen
hat way says l, and then my anti
George Washington blood rose again.
You see, he was kind of lonesome out
there at first, and we took to calling
him Jonesy to cheer him up and make
him feel at home says.
"'Oh,' says she. And | reckon she
didn't feel SO horribly awful about it,
for after looking straight toward the
gulf of Mexico for minute suddenly
she bust right out and hollered 1t
seems that Jones cut a great deal of
grass to swipe when he was back
home in his own street. It's astonish-
ing how little of a man it takes to do
that in the east. We had an argument
once on the subject. It's intellect does
It, says Silver Tompkins. oh, that's
1t, Ell? says Wind River Smith. We'll,
I'm glad I'm not troubled that way
I'd rather have a forty -four chest than
a No. head any day you can find In
the almanac And I'm with Smithy.
This knowing so much 1t makes you
sick amt any better than being so
healthy you don't know nothing, be-
sides being square miles less fun. An
other thing about the eastern folks is
they're SO sot In their views, and 1t
don't matter to them whether the
facts bear out their idees or not.
"Here, take cigar says one Of
tuc DOdIu VI uikCStOlo W ihC iiteic
fat old man, who had to draw in his
breath before he could cross his legs
them cigarettes IL ruin your health,
says he. Mind you, he was always
kicking and roaring about his liver or
stummick or some of his works. I'm
a little over six foot three In my boots
when I stand up straight, and / stood
up straight as the Lord would let me
and gazed down at that little man.
'Pardner,' says I, I was raised on
cigarettes. When I was two years old
I used to have a pull at the bottle
and then my cigarette to aid digestion.
1t may be conceit on my part says,
but I'd rather be a wreck like me
than a prize fighter like you They're
queer. You'd think that that little fat
man would have noticed the difference
without my pointing It ont to him.
"Well, don't have to mention that
Logs stirred things up considerable
around the Chanta Secchee and vicin-
ity. Geel What a diving into wanne-
sans and a fetching out Of good
clothes there was! And trading of
useful coats and things for useless but
decorating silk handkerchers and
thingsl And whata hair cutting and
whisker trimming!