Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-05-01
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Hes perfectly wild over his new
auto" Huh! You should see him
under Milwaukee Sentinel.
The young man spoke bitterly: DO
you take me for fool?" "Oh, George"
she said, this is so sudden."-Mem-
phis Journal.
Mrs. Nurich, proudly-That clock on
the stairs is more than two hundred
years old. Mrs. Blueblood Cutting
All, of whom did you buy 1t?
First Authorization were laid up
in your house all last week, weren't
you? Second Millionaire-Yes. "Slck-
ness or Investigation committee?"-
Life.
Brown-Do you think the Panama
Climate induces laziness? Town
Does it? Why l took some bees down
there once and they got so lazy they
wouldn't sting.
Hodge-What's old Scribbles doing?
He looks povertystricken. Podge-He
Is writing a series of articles on How
to Get Rich Without Capital."-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
Mrs. Trust Magnate (newly richly
want one Of them octopus-shaped
rooms for the library. Cynical Archl-
tect-So appropriate, dear madam
Baltimore American.
Burr-Do you think the end Of the
world will ever come? Dock--I
thought 1t had this morning; my wife
got her new hat home and there wasn't
thing wrong with it.
The Agent-If you have this ma
chine, sir, you won't take anybody's
dust. The Magnate-Then l don't
want 1t. I'm out for everybody's
dust.-Cleveland Leader.
MISUNDERSTANDING resolved to
-aw-do something useful In the
world, doncher know. Miss DeStyle-
Indeed! Algernon-Yaws. am-aw
learning to tie me own ties.-CIicago
Daily News.
what class of people do you think
has been most benefited by the libra
ries you have founded?" I'm not
sure" answered Mr.. Dustin Stax.
But l kind of suspect It's the archl-
Observation-Disclosures Star.
Teacher-If coal is So per ton, how
many tons could you get for $50. Dis
turbing Element-Three tons. Teacher
That's wrong Disturbing Element
Il know 1t is, but they will do 1t
just the same.-Harvard Lampoon.
81 am n worthless thing!" exclaim-
ed the rejected and detected young
man, despairingly. ooh, no." replied
the fair girl cheerfully. mot worth
less. Your skeleton alone would sell
for twenty dollars" Jour.
nal.
'sThat was an awful break Bimerly
made last night after he had proposed
to the rich Miss Anteek and been ac-
cepted." "What was lt?" Just after
she had accepted him he asked If she
gave trading stamps. Commercial
Progress.
Suriy Strong-Gin me nickel,
missus? Missus-I should think big.
strong man like you would be ashamed
to ask for money. Surly Strong-1
am, missus, but amt got der nerve
to take it without askin.'-Philadel.
phia Record.
DUDLEY bought a horse the other
day -." "Yes, and he was hor.
ribly stuck, wasn't he?" "Oh! you've
seen the horse then?" mo, but he
told me he was going to buy one from
a friend who Is in the business y
Philadelphia Press.
Bibllophlle (aghast)-I beg your
pardon, madam, but that book your
little girl is playing with is an old
and exceedingly rare first edition.
Caller-oh, that's all right, Mr.. vlb.
bert. 1t will amuse her just as much
as IL It were nice and new.-Chicago
Tribune.
IBID your bull terrier get blue
ribbon Mt the show?" Eyes" Il
should think you would hang 1t up
in prominent place." "No. You see,
this was a hair ribbon he snatched
from little girl, and we had to pay
her father not to make any trouble
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Anything peculiar about these peo-
pie that have just moved into the
house next door to you, Mrs. Cross
way?" mo; there's nothing unusual
about them. They've borrowed step.
ladder and a tack hammer, and turn.
ed their children loose in our back
yard."-Chicago Tribune.
Some odd Wills.