The Washington herald., 1907-12-08

Gentle reader, were you at the dinner
OF the Gridiron Club last night? No?
Then you missed the greatest entertain
ment since the circus came TO town.
The dinner was given at the New VIII
lard with the customary accompanies
of flowers and music and an assemblage
of nearly 200 distinguished guests. Those
are the things. however. that go with
every dinner. The happenings that made
the event last night so unique and en-
Joyable were the stunts that the Gridiron
men did for the entertainment Of the
gathering-the jokes that they perpetrated
at the expense OF prominent men, the
songs that they sung. the clever satires
that they presented. The best of il ali
was that none Of the things they did
left any sting. 1t was all fun. pure fun.
How bright and how entertaining cold
type cannot ten. The story of the dinner
as told on the morning Of the day after
is like milk without cream. II you cannot
get the cream. however, take the milk.
II is better than nothing at all. And the
speeches! Never before were they so uni
formly bright
ASK the British Ambassador. for in
stance, what he thought OF the dinner
how he liked the song that was sung
about him. and how The guests appIauded
his graceful speech. When drinking tea
with Viscount Aoki. the japanese Am
bassador, ask him what he thought Of
the marvellous japanese wrestler. who
challenged all comers to q friendly bout,
and who was terribly disappointed be-
cause he did not have an opportunity to
try fall with President Roosevelt This
wrestler, by the way was one Of the
stars Of the evenings armament. He was
a gigantic Gridironer. and entered the
banquet hall escorted by one OF the small
est members. physically speaking. in the
club. Hitachiyama was his name-at
least that was the name given him for
the occasion. He was attired in pink
tights that were simply beautiful. and
wore "a robe that princes might envy. #
was so rich with gold embroidery and
other decorations. "Hltachlyama,' said
his escort. lis the Muldoon OF the Orient.
and speaks no English. He comes from
an ancient and aristocratlc family. Is a
member OF the Order of samuri. and
weights 29S pounds. He dehes the GRID
iron Club and the world. Observe his
dimensions. Mr.. President"
The Wrestler from Japan.
The wrestler stretched himself. folded
his arms deliberately. and swelleed his
chest until he looked like the frog in
Aesops fables. Then his guide explained
that the wrestler who gave an exhibition
in the East Room Of the White House
not long ago wasn't the real thing al all.
but only a mere pupil Of the champion
secured by the Gridiron Club at great ex-
pense. Consequently, il somebody only
would meet Hitachiyama on the mat there
would be something doing that was really
worth while.
win one Of our guests kindly wrestIe
the gentleman" asked President Blythe
in his suavest London-imported tones.
Nobody volunteered.
Perhaps Senator Kittredge will take on
the gentleman" suggested President
Blythe.
Mr. kittredge begged pardon. don't you
know; couldn't change his evening
clothes; had eaten too much dinner. and
well. he didn't go 10 the mat. either.
Several other heavy-weights around the
table were next invited, but somehow or
other they didn't seem disposed 10 be
t,rrff.
But even then thy did not escape the
laughter which rippled around the board
at their expense. DR.. Percy Hickling and
Senator Knox were among those who de-
clined 10 take him on
''Mollycoddles," grunted the wrestler in
oisgusted fashion: and after prostrating
himself before the club president. Vice
President Fairbanks and Ambassador
Aoki he stalked out Of the room.
Mr.. Fairbanks ButtermiIk Cocktail
Before this, however. the guests had
assembled, and President Blythe. after A
happy speech of welcome had flashed the
electric gridiron. AS the lights revealed
the handsomely appointed tables some
body discovered ts1at the cocktails were
absent. Instantly there were loud in
quiries President Blythe. apparently
nonplussed at the strange omission. cali
ed for an explanation. whereupon a men,
Der of the club stepped forward. in front
Of Vice President Fairbanks. and sang a
song which began rs follows:
There once was dinner out in Indiana
Where cocktails were served 10 each guest
Such innocent mixtures sith Sundry nice fixtures
As cherries and you know the rest
They glistoned like vine aud they tasted so fine.
Each guest smacked his lips in delight.
Could yOu really thihk that this one little drink
Would have caused such terrible plighfl
Whereupon the chorus came in Justify
with the stirring-Tefrain:
Oh the cocktails friend Of mine
Friend Of mine-yes friend Of mine
What ! if the sun don't shine
When we've got a cocktail.
That's the reason ! feel 50 fine
Feel finc-yes. ! feel 50 fine.
When served OF dinner the cocktails a winnrr-
The cocktails friend Ct mine.
The climax was yet TO come Sud
denly producing huge glass of butter
milk. the singer held 1t toward the Vice
President and sang to HIM as follows:
And now. Mister Fairbanks, VIII YOU drink
this cocktail
It's simple and harmless and dr..
And, not TO alarm you, we say it won't harm Won.
SO don't be too shrinking and shy.
You surely viii say as you sip It's fine aaror
II thank ycu indeed for this boon
Unless you confess. you WILL we all s-iess
You intend to be dry-till next June
Once more the lyri,al tribute 10 tbe
cocktail from the loud-Iunged chorus rose
Continued on Page 4. Column
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