Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-03-23

A fat male person with rowing eye and
nm amiable smile boarded avenue car
the other day and found vacant seat
beside an acquaintance.
say" he remarked after about four
turns Of the wheels, you know that little
three-year-oId kid of mine?"
''Oh, yes" said the acquaintance, with
IA poor bluff at enthusiasm, bright little
fellow But let me change the subject for
moment. l want
well, you know continued the fat
person, ignoring the side track. that little
Kid is
NO doubt of 1t In the world" hurriedly
remarked the acquaintance. shifting nerv-
ously in his seat He's the brightest
little fellow in the city. Everybody knows
It, but 1 want to"
"As | was SAYING" resumed the fat per-
son. picking up the thread of his remark.
.that little kid is giving me whole lot of
worry He doesn't say any of the bright
things that other mems children 90; ne
doesn't say an original version OF Now l
lay me down to sleep every night; he
doesn't ask embarrassing questions-in fact,
he doesn't do any of the things that m
always hearing about other folks kids
Now what do you suppose is the matter?
I'd like to"
But the acquaintance. with one long I'M
believing wild look had climbed over the
knees of an elderly female with Alexandra
ringlets, and leaped from the moving car
And about everybody else In the car had
turned to smile sweetly and encouragingiy
In the direction of the fat person with
the amiable smile.
'.They have a standing rule in the office
OF the adjutant general OF the army. re-
marked a high government official the
other day. that might be adopted with
prodt by other bureaus of the government
The rule is that every communication re-
ceived from a member of Congress must be
acknowledged the day of its receipt. Ihat
means not only that an answer shall be pre-
pared but also that it shall be actually oe-
iivered the same day. Messengers are en-
ployed for delivery purposes instead Oh the
walls This plan is followed during the
sessions of Congress, and also during the
recesses in the cases of congressman sun
in Washington. Congressman are naturally
nleased with this prompt service. ana snow
sheIr appreciation when the appropriations
for the adiutant generals office are under
consideration. Consequently, the aoJutaht
general gets all the clerks and messengers
he asks for and Is able to carry MS system
of randi correspondence into successful ex-
ecution. II other bureaus of the govern
men treated the men who make the annual
appropriations with the same consideration
they in turn might receive more nperdl
gifts from the national legislature. l regret
20 say that we cannot do 1t in our bureau,
for the simple reason that We have not the
employees to put on that special Work.
Col Pete Hepburn of Iowa Is one of the
few members of the House of Representa-
tives to be found in Washington just now.
The other day the colonel was strolling
down the avenue wearing his deceptive per-
manent- crouch expression, when friend
arfted alongside and fell in step with him.
in town late, aren't you. colonel?' the
lymph remarked Mr.. Hepburn, some
what briefly.
'DoIng chores for the boys at home.
guess" the unabashed friend continued.
NO" said the colonel, becoming some
what more loquacious.
Then what are you DOING?
"My dear young friend" said Mr.. Hep
burn, lever since the winter of 1903 there
has been a busted place about as big as
soup plate in the concrete in front of my
house Last session l made seven speeches
on the floor of the House of Representa-
tves on the subject of the outrageous. con-
temptible, horrible, scandalous and incom-
petent manner in which the city is run and
the terrible, insanitary, cowardly and in
human way in which the streets of tnis
city are neglected. Last session l made
nine speeches on the same subject. am
now Fostering the Commissioners. and have
reason to believe that by the 4th of July
I'll get that place fixed"
Ana Win parting BtOWl Col. Hepburn
continued on his way to the District build
ting.
The Star man dropped into the New VIII
lard lobby the other night, and while enjoy
Ing one of the big easy chairs and five
cent cigar overheard a story told by man
newcOme from Iowa to a friend.
Have you heard the latest presden tial
jpke?' the Iowan asked his companion
The Star man twisted his Stats to get
near enough to hear Il.
Guess not" replief the person addressed.
We'll" said the IoWan, while / was out
n Des MDines last week l got 1t from
friend OF mine. II happened that the hu-
inprously inclined woman who started the
soke called up a number OF her friends
over the telephone and asked the conun-
drum and requested that they pass it on to