Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1907-06-14
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auto" Huh! You should see him
under it."-Milwaukee Sentinel.
The young man spoke bitterly: do
you take me for fool?" "Oh, George"
she said, this is so udden."-Mem-
phis Journal
Mrs. ich,proudly-That clock on
the stairs is more than two hundred
years old. Mrs. BlueblOod Cutting
All, of whom did you buy It?
First MillIonaire-You were laid up
in your house all last week, weren't
your Second Milllonairs-Yes. "Sick-
ness or investigation committeef"-
Life.
Brown-Do you think the Panama
Climate induces laziness? Town
Does it2 Why l took some bees down
there once and they got SO lazy they
wouldn't sting.
~ Hodge-What's old Scribbles dolng7
He looks poverty-stricken. Podge-He
is writing series Of articles on How
TO Get Rich Without Capital" l."-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
Mrs. Trust Magnate (newly rich)-
I want one of them octopus-shaped
rooms for the library. Cynical Archi-
tect-So appropriate, dear madam
Baltimore American.
Burr-Do YOU think the end of the
world will ever Gomez Dock-I
thought 1t had this morning; my wife
got her new hat home and there wasn't
thing wrong with it.
The Agent-If you have this ma
chine, sir, you won't take anybody's
dust. The Magnate-Then don't
want 1t. I'm out for everybody's
dust.-Cleveland Leader.
Algernon-I-aw-hav resolved to
-aw-do something useful in the
world, doncher know. Miss DeStyle-
Indeed! Algernon-Yaws. am-aw
learning to tie me own ties.-Chicago
Daily News.
"What class Of people do you think
has been most benefited by the libra
ries you have founded?" "I'm not
sure" answered Mr.. Dustin Stax.
But l kind Of suspect it's the archi-
tects. Washington Star.
Teacher-If coal is S. per ton, how
many tons could you get for $50. Dis
turbing Element-Three tons. Teacher
That's wrong. Disturbing Element
ia hut thau will IL
just the same.-Harvard Lampoon.
81 am a worthless thing" exclaim-
ed the rejected and detected young
man, despairingly. "Oh, no." replied
the fair girl cheerfully. mot worth
less. Your skeleton alone would sell
for twenty dollars. Jour-
nal
'That was an awful break Blmerly
made last night after he had proposed
to the rich Miss Anteek and been ac-
cepted." "What was it?" Just after
she had accepted him he asked If she
gave trading stamps ps"-Commerci
Progress.
Surly Strong-Gin me nickel,
mlssus? Missus-I should think a big,
strong man like you would be ashamed
to ask for money. Surly Strong-I
am, mlssus, but l amt got der nerve
to take 1t without askin.-Philadel-
phia Record.
Dudley bought a horse the other
day -" "Yes, and he was hor-
rlbly stuck, wasn't he?" "Oh! you've
seen the horse thenT" mo, but he
told me he was going to buy one from
a friend who Is in the business ~
Philadelphia Press.
Bibliophile (aghast)-I beg your
pardon, madam, but that book your
little girl is playing with Is an old
and exceedingly rare first edition.
Caller-Oh, that's all right, Mr.. Vib-
bert. 1t will amuse her just as much
as If 1t were nice and new.-Chlcago
Tribune.
"Dld your bull terrier get a blue
ribbon at the show?" "Yes." II
should think you would hang 1t up
In a prominent place." "No. You see,
this was hair ribbon he snatched
from little girl, and we had to pay
her father not to make any trouble"
cleveland Plain Dealer.
Anything peculiar about these peo-
pie that have just moved into the
house next door to you, Mrs. Cross
wayT mo; there's nothing unusual
about them. They've borrowed step
ladder and a tack-hammer, and turn
ed their children loose in our back
lyard."-Chicago Tribune.