Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1907-08-02

BY LUE F. VERNON
Don't grunt do Il stunt,

Don't grunt do Il stunt. ''''
Resign, Senator Ankenv, resign;
Twill save you many a sigh,
The lid is on-your light is out,
Farewell, goodnight, goO'l-bye.
Why not name Il town Dictionary?
1t would be the only place where
peace, prosperity and happiness are
always found.
Senator Ankcny has as much
chance of being returned to the L.
s. Senate As an Olympia oyster has
of swallowing Il whale.
Remarkably strange, isn't it. how
a slight affair will change the whole
course of ones life, rendering all the
previously cherished and favorite
plans, aims and hopes. as naught.
Gold is the impulse that drives
men to lonely dclving on almost in
accessible mountain slopes, to lives
of deprivation and isolation. and too
frequently to untimely and miser-
able deaths.
There are times in the life of most
healthy human animals when Il judic
ious application of the Shingle is of
great ctfacy. If there were more of
it in early life there would he less
rock pile to it later.
The public would like to know for
sure. how far Teddy is serious in
his professions as to the need of safe
guarding property. and how accur-
ately he knows what he really does
want to do to corporations.
We are overwhelmed with remedial
State laws on Juvenile courts, paren-
tai neglect, wife abandonment, parole
systems and the like. 1t all indi-
Gates decay of the American home
and the cardinal virtues of domestic
| life.
PitchfOrk Tillman may have only
one eye, but he can see the common
horse sense side of any question
quicker. keener and clearer than
many politicians who have two good
good ones and wear eyeglasses be-
sides.
Owls are said to see better after
dark than in daylight. Whether this
is true or not. | noticed two Owls in
Olympia the other night who acted
as if entirely blind, when attempting
to walk IA broad, level and straight
sidewalk.
The books of etiquette unfortu
natcly omit to say whether 1t Is
proper for Il gentleman in an open
car to set things right when he OBJ
serves that the waist of a lady in the
seat in front of him is unbuttoned in
the back.
| I've come across some mean, low
down, dOuble-eyed Williams. in my
time, but without exception the
meanest in all the category of human
hounds is the wretch who comes in
the Office, puts his feet on the desk
and tells you salmon-trout are biting.
I'VE would have recognized Mrs.
| Nicholas Longworth ut once had she ap-
peared in our midst wearing any of
that Alice blue. .'-Iacomd Ntrs.
Suppose she had wore Japanese
yellow. and carried her fathers big
stick" would you have recognized her
Immediately?
Did you ever notice the seemingly
insane now-l-am better than you ac
tionS, which Siezes and maddenS
those who suddenly and unexpected
ly come into possession of great
wealth, after wiggling along for
years in Poverty Alley? | say, have
you ever noticed it?
Why should not Il doctor advertise
his profession in local newspapers.
and to add some guarantee as To his
experience, success or ability? Nay,
why should not he. in Justice to the
profession generally-by whom he
trust-be required by law to do So?
There can be no possible excuse
for husband who strikes his wife.
He is worse than coward and
should forfeit all rights which are
enjoyed by others in the community
The only wife-beaters who get their
lust deserts are those who run up
against the fists of big, husky broth
ers-in-law.
!. 1t seems to me, after the years o
, toll spent by Hon. S. c. Cosgrove, o1
Pomeroy, in building and repairing
his political fence, it ought, by now
be in best of shape and condition t(
keep any other Individual from jump
ing, crawling, or rolling under it. il
order to Craze in the Governorshil
field of this State.
The paper Or Dumb Animdls
? edited by Geo. T. Angel, and pub
lished in Boston, Mass, has beer
shut out of the schools of Washing
e ton, ID. c., because Mr.. Angel can
e not agree with Teddy" in regart
! to the shooting, wounding, and kill
l ing of animals, simply for tie tun o
shooting, wounding and killing them
3 A colored editor in Tacoma wa
first to announce Senator Ankeny
r intention to be a candidate for re
a election to the United States Senate
$ 1t has been rumored, to gain tn
f political position he holds at tn
.>,o.ort t;,no ApEapv was uuit