The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-02-25
Letters From A Green Member


youth. The bill about Coca-Cola, which is a kind of lady's grog, was introduced by the Gentleman from Cullman, where the wine comes from. and says that you can not sell 1t.
 l tried them both-Jesse James and Coca Cola. As luck would have 1t, Wild West show came to town this very week so, to go the whole hog, l drank several mugs of Coca Cola and went to see the James boys. After I got there. I found I could have stayed away. If I had just raised my window at the boarding house l could have heard il all. Such shooting and yell ing and cavorting around till I thought somebody would surely get hurt, but the feller went with said he had seen that opery of Jesse James before and that on the stage Jess and his brother Frank were as innocent as soft shell crabs.
 l got sort of used to the noise, but the smoke was sort of bad and kept me sneezing, which l didn't like. hav- ing drunk so much Coca Cola. As for the show. Bill 1 would hate to have a tender juvenile of mine be demoralized by 1t. It struck me that Jesse and Frank lived mighty sorry, and the kid that it would appeal to don't carry much aloft. As for the Cocoa Cola well. they can prohibit that if they want to. It's filling but the effects are meagre. Still I got material for my speech, and l am going to talk against both bills I don't much care for neither one amounts to anything. and can't do much harm, I reckon, but I have got to talk about something. And that ain't campaign literature, either Hill. What am I going to say?
 Well, have none of 1t written down. but the peroration, which is where you go aloft, you know. Here it is:
 Gentlemen" I say; Fellow States men," and here clear my throat loudly and harshly as possible, which l notice is the fashion in each branch of the Legislature. Tn tacit resignation, I have maintained my sedentary posture while I perceived abruptly snatched away from me privileges which l be- licved my priceless heritages. 1 saw child labor taken away as by wasting blast, and I did not gain-say you. I felt the stealthy, furtive grip of the administration upon my free pass, and my tongue was not loosened. My lips parching with thirst, my tongue cleav- ing to the roof of my mouth; my hot dry eyeballs starting from their sock cts. I saw my pet jimmi john coated with cob-webs, and no word, save only aye. aye. sir, to the skipper came forth from my throat. But today, MT Speaker. I arise to protest against these latest indignities; and however. my futile protestations will have been, shall be unable to confront my con- stituents with the solemn announce ment that I have struggled to the ut- most of my meagre power, to preserve from the ruthless hand of the de- stroyer the rights, the privileges and the liberties, guaranteed Uhough as 1t now seems, guaranteed in name only) by the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution of the United States. the Constitution of the Confederate States | Chats where l fetch one applause BilD, and by the Constitution of the State of Alabama. I doff my hat to Shakespeare and to Clyde Line Fitch: but I ask. Gentlemen. have you seen the James Boys in Missouri? I mean, have you seen them here in Montgom- cry. pretending to be in Missouri? Is any in the world. that you would pre- clude? No. thousand times no! Was Jesse James a hero? or was he a pa triot. burning, with the fervent ardour of love for his country? Was he a heartless butcher. or was he a fond and affectionate father and husband loyal brother and faithful friend? Go to see the play, and say if 1t will de- moraliZe our youth.
 Do you know Dopa -Mora? Is it a vitiating drug, running the lives of the people of our glorious Southland? or Is it-is 1t not, l ask you, Gentlemen