The Washington herald., 1907-06-09
QUAINT PARISH CLERKS.
Strange Notices that Used to Be
Read In Church.

Strange Notices that Used to Be
Read In Church.
Complaints about the eccentricities and
defective reading and singing Of parish
clerks have come down to us from ia
cobean times" says p. II. Dltchfeld IN
his entertaining volume on The Parish
Clerk, according to the Baltimore News.
Especially in the clerks reading Of the
Psalms many mistakes have been re-
corded. David Diggs. the hero Of J.
Hswitts Parish Clerk" insisted upon
reading the proper names in Psalm
lNxxxiii. 6, "Odommities. Osmallities. and
Mobbities," and when demonstrated with
by the vicar replied that "sea-town folk
understand it very WELL adding:
One on us must read better than tother or there
would he DO difference 'twixt pars0n and clerk.
Besides this sort Of reading as you taught me would
not do here The prshi1uers told Oh If Oi didn gi'
In and read lu th' Old style leike as they wouldn't
come % hear Oi. 50 OF dropped il!
Many stories are told of the quaint and
sometimes extraordinary announcements
made by the old-time clerks. For ex-
ample. a Shropshire clerk gave out on
Easter Day the following notice. Last
Friday was Good Friday. but we've for
gotten un, so next Friday will be" An
other clerk announced in regard 20 an
approaching Ash Wednesday: There will
be no service on Wednesday-co why?
Mester We going hunting, and so beeze ]"
In the days when parish notices with
reference TO the lost. stolen. or strayed
animals were read ont before the service,
one clerk rose in his place and said.
This is % give notice that my Lsdy - has lost
Der little dog. H6 comes o. the name r. Shock. he
is su white except two patches q black his sides
ard Do has F1'-eh.-Vhaf. -ves-u--GVou my soul
be has s.r four eyes, It should have been sore
ces. bIt the long bad mi'led the clerk
The parish clerk was sometimes a poet,
as the Somersetshire one who startled the
one day by asking Il 10 rise
and sing his own adaptation Of Tate and
Bradys rendering Of Psalm xvii. which
began as follows.
W. 'Cp SEE 20 80 little 'nls'
And shat gar du ee z=kiP'
Is t cause 'er Trach TOO we
j. cum me Lord Bfhpl
There was q time. says Mr.. Ditchfeld.
when the whole Church Of England
seemed to be asleep. The high curtained
pews. resembling nothing so much as
four posted bodsteads, were admirably
adapted for peaceful slumber Il was
Berkshire dame who naively expressed
her admiration for the old-fashioned pew
by saving. "A body might sleep com
f0rtahIy i'm lt without an the parish
KNOWN of IT," Il was the part Of the
clerk iu "a particularly sleepy c0nErega- /
tion t0 say Amen very loud az the
close 0f the sermon IN order 10 wake
everybody Up. But one time
after bis firstly" was concluded the preacher Un-
rrlr paused. The clerk suddenly auaklng thought F.
that -Hr discourse was concluded. and pronounced
DIS usual A-mmen.' The congregation rose. and (.
'He s.uire came 10 close. As the gathering dis F.
reed tIe squire slipped half a crown into the 7.
clerks hand. and whispered. Thomas. T0l man f.
sEai that feV Te.l and de=Cr.e a little present.
FL give sos the same next tine
The famous Amen epitaph at Cray /
ford. Kent 90 the memory Of one Peter /
Smell. who repeated his "Amens" duigent- /
E for Jhirty-odd years, is reprinted.
Tho lie nj This clerk was +st three score and ten.
Nearly half of which time he had sing ogt Amen
Bra bis '"r-l DEE bad married like other Young men. I
Br. l.= vifa died one daE-s1 he Chlntsl Amen.
A second Do rrrs-she irnar-e5-vhat tHeu5
IIa married and buried a third with Amen.
Thus His iHrs and his -1r1ws were treble but then
is voice was deep bass. as he sing ont Amen.
lu -lg born hs could blow as wen as most men.
-1 '.s horn was exalted t1 blowing Amen.
3n' De Iast am ll, wind after three score and ten
Ar5 here with three wives hs waits tiil again
That trumpet shall rouse him 20 sing ant Amen.