davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-29
The LINN h-Plunf.

Old-time travellers in China and Tar.
tary spoke Of plant they found there
with the shape and appearance Of a
lamb. 1t had, so they said, head, feet
and tail distinctly formed, and it's skin
was covered with soft down. 1t would
turn about on the stalk on which it
grew, and would bend towards the
herbage on which it fed, and when the
grass. failed. 1t would dry up and
wither away. A singularly shaped
plant recently discovered, shows that
there was some foundation for this re-
markable story. This plant has a
woolly covering, and the peasants
amuse themselves by trimming it, and
adjusting the long silky hairs that
cover 1t, In such way as to give 1t
the appearance Of an animal
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-29
Words Ending In q.

The best spoilers among the boys
and girls may be pardoned If they are
sometimes In doubt whether to add es
or simply S, when plurallzing noun
ending in o. There Is simple rule
that governs such cases, however, and
If they would remember that, the doubt
would be removed. English nouns end
Ing In preceded by consonant takes
es In the plural, but those ending In o
preceded by a vowel take only. Echo,
motto and potato will serve as exam
pies Of the first, the plurals Of which
are echoes, notices and potatoes.
Folio and cameo are examples Of the
second, the plurals Of which are folios
and canoes. The words solo, junto
and canto and few others, have not
been fully angliclzed and they take
only in the plural. Another exception
Is the word two, which Is usually plu-
rallied as twos, though some authori-
ties prefer twoes
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-29

The very high sounding word eti
quette had a very humble origin. fol
etiquette meant simply label. 1t re
ceived its present signifcation from
the fact that a Scotch gardener who
laid out the grounds at Versailles for
Louis XIV. was much annoyed at the
courtiers walking over his newly made
paths. and at length had labels placed
TO indicate where they might pass. At
first these labels were not attended TO.
but a hint from high quarters that in
future the walks of the courtiers must
be within the "etiquettes" or labels
was promptly attended TO. To keep
within the etiquettes became the cor
rect thing. The meaning of the phrase
was afterward widened.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-29
Live Like n King,

No crowned head ever pillowed itself
for a nights lodging with the salts
faction Of knowing that under the same
roof there were a thousand persons
paid to look after Its safety, comfort
and luxury, unless that crowned head
found itself In a modern New York
hotel, where a regiment Of "help" is
employed, consisting Of clerks, chefs.
pastry cooks, meat cooks, bakery men.
soup cooks, detectives, watchmen. en-
gineers, electricians, plumbers, carpen-
ters, laundrymen, doormen, porters
buffers, walters, stewards, wine and
cigar experts, decorators, messengers,
waiting maids and chambermalds
Any person with 81 In his pockets
can have the advantages of this regi
mental array Of servants for one day
by paying the price of room at any
OF the greater hotels recently construct
ed In the metropolis, though, of course,
81 is the lowest figure Many of the
rooms cost double that sum a day. and
some of the state apartments, with
bedrooms, gorgeous parlor, private din
ing room and bath, are not let for less
than 500 to 1928 a day. Even the four
dollar rooms have baths, but the price
OF room or apartment does not include
Crawford in Success.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-29

II was walking on PENNSYLVANIA
avenue in Washington one day at high
noon when a 'nigger' loomed up on my
horizon coming rapidly toward me, ;,
said a well-known negro comedian.
He was wearing the most outlandish
outnt l ever saw on human being,
on or off the stage. His trousers were
frayed and torn above his shoetops.
He wore muskcolored wooden shirt.
q celluloid collar and a tattered sack
coat On his head was a sombrero
which looked as If several dogs had
been trying to pull it to pieces. But
the crowning effort was a new and i'm
maculate full dress vest. He had pull
ed back his coat and showed his
thumbs into the armholes of that vest.
AS he came sailing before the wind
he certainly was the most comical fig
ure | ever saw. l couldn't resist the
temptation to stop him.
Look here l said, what do you
mean by appearing at this time of day
in such a dress? Don't you know that
you're de tropT
DE what-what's thatY
Don't you know that you're de
trop? l repeated, that it isn't permis-
sible to appear in full dress before 6
O'Clock In the EVENING"
THE darky drew himself up very
proudly.
look heah,' he said. I'll have you
to know that l don't low nobody to
make time tables for my cloas. -
Kansas City Times.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-29
A Tale of Red Tame.

Among the tales Of red tape the fol.
lowing should hold high place: NJ
Roger Cavailhon, young French gen.
dredth steeplechase, was drawn for
the conscription and had to serve for
n year. He asked TO be placed In the
cavalry, explaining with due modesty
that he was not unknown as a horse
man. The military council OF revision
refused the request on the ground that
as his period of service was only one
wear he would not have time TO learn
fo ride.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-29
The ELIMINATION of FidO.

| IHe
Wuns HENRY Beamus had dog witch
had
Sum feeze and uther things almoast az
And hardly emmy hare becaws it woar
! 1t off by skratchin on the kitchun dore
When Hennry's muther did not look !;
and it
Wood berry boans In the frunt yard and
bit
The preecher wuns on his frunt poarch,
ware he
Kood not sit down from beein bit, you
see,
Witch maid fuss in churtch and
HENRY had
To tie 1t up for fear he wood 90 mad.
And HENRY had to give his dog away
But everywares he went he wood not stay
For he luvd HENRY So and he wood
bring
A new boan hoam and howl like every
thing
For owrs ann owrs az If he had a fit;
And all the naburs tried to poyzen it,
And killed a lot of uther dogs and cats
Belongin to themselves and sed sutch
bratts
AS HENRY shood be punnisht when they
kept
A dog that onley how'd and never slept.
And one day HENRY fownd him layen
dead
All curld up in the kornur of the shed
AS peaceful as kood be, to howl no moar,
Mutch butifuller than he was befoar
And me and Redd and HENRY Beamus
drugg
Him over by the crick and then we dug
A graive for him, and HENRY Beamus
said
A prare, and put a hedstoan at his head
And Hennry's eyes was full of teers, be-
He moo how good and fatheful his dog
j. w. Foley.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-29
Boys Sum mer Camp,

Is there any pastime more delightful
to boys than camping out for few
days or weeks during midsummer
And not only do the boys of the family
enjoy getting close to nature for s
brief while but the parents and sisters
of the boys are happy when visiting
the camp for days sojourn at time
plan for summer camp of the
"openface" variety Is pictured here
giving boys very good idea of how
to build one OF boards and canvas. The
site for the camp should be very care
fully selected. dryness of ground being
the first consideration and proximity
to spring or well of pure water being
next considered. If the camp Is to be
| pitched In the mountains do not decide
on spot near a canyon, for a heavy
rainfall might prove dangerous, wash
Ing away not only the camp, but its oc-
cupants. Select level stretch we'll up
the side of mountain where the de-
clivty is not too pronounced.
After the camp" has been duly
erected and the fire shed" built Ca
place where the camp fire Is to be made
for cooking purposes), a ditch about
ten inches deep and foot wide should
be dug about them Just at their outer
base. This ditch Ia for the purpose Of
catching the roofdrain during the
rains, and should have lead" dug
%H,, Iou atIn 70
of down the mountain or hillside.
Some boys who camp every year
build such durable camp lodgings that
they last from season to season. These
are often equipped with windows and
floor, as well as with hunks for the
bedding. But few boys want to go to
80 much trouble and expense, and the
foorless, bunkless, windowless, open
face" camp. Is just what they want for
a few weeks outing.
Before going Into camp the campers
should see TO II that everything neces-
sary for camp life has been supplied.
There should be a good-slzed mess box
Of wood, In which to keep the pro-
visions. Matches should be kept In
bottles to insure against
1ampness Crackers should be kept In
thick paper bags, tied tightly at the |
opening. Let the bread be well wrapped
IN paper first, and outside that good. |
thick cloth. In the way of uncooked |
provisions there should be a side of |
,moked bacon, bag Of meal, one of |
iour, a can Of lard (for frying fish |
md game), sack of salt, glass lars |
If coffee. tea and sugar. Fresh eggs
AN be bought from a nearby farmer,
llso green corn and new potatoes. If
he camping crew cares to consume SO
much time over the campfire. And |
hey are pretty certain to want all that
hey are prepared to cook. for living
nut of doors sharpens the appetite
and boys who eat little at
lome find themselves while In camp
evourlng all the food they can lay
Iands on.
The cooking utensils should consist
f coffee pot, long g-handled iron or steel
killet (never use frying pan; 1t Is
snare and a delusion), a good-sizel
ron pot for boiling corn and potatoes.
nd a tin pail for holding water. The
ishes should consist of tin plates.
ups, kitchen knives, forks and spoons
napkins are to be INDUCED In, sup
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-29

The Samoan islands are the natural
habitat Of the most diminutive species
Of variety Of the genus bos now known
to the naturalist The average weight
Of the males Of these liIiputian ca tile
seldom exceeds 200 pounds, the aver
age being not greater than $50 pounds.
The females usually average about
hundred pounds larger and are very
"stocky" built, seldom being taller
than a Merino sheep These dwarf
cattle are nearly all OF the same color
reddish mouse color. marked with
white. They have large heads as
compared with their bodies. and their
horns are Of exceptional length.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-29
Precautions of old Time Doctors,

1T was formerly the practice among
physicians to carry a cane having a
hollow head, the top of which was gold
pierced with holes like a pepper box
The top contained a small amount of
aromatic powder or Of snuff, and on
entering the house or room where a
disease supposed to be infectious pre-
vailed the doctor would strike his cane
on the foor to agitate the powder and
then apply 1t to his nose; hence all
the old prints Of physicians represent
them with canes to their noses.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-29
THE CHANCE CAME.
Dams Father Said He Never Would
Set the River on Fire.

Set the River on Fire.
Several years before the discovery Oh
oil Mt Pithole an Irishman named Nc.
Carthy and his son Dan came to this
country from the Emerald Isle. Dan
was young man of twenty, but his
father looked upon him as a mere boy
and seemed to take delight In ridicul-
| ing him before people
"Yis, Dan is a good by" he would
say sarcastically, "but, Danny, me by,
Yell niver set the river on fire."
This was his stock wItticism. and 1t
annoyed Dan very much, but he did
his best and soon surprised the old
gentleman by securing a lucrative Job.
"Iis, Danny has job all right" he
said ITS $3.50 day, but the by II
niver set the river on fire-not he"
When oil was found at Plthole, Dan
hurried to the scene and was soon
earning unusually large wages as a
teamster. All the petroleum was
drawn in barrels. and teams were in
great demand. He saved his money,
bought an acre Of land and soon had a
we'll drilled that was producing 100
barrels Of oil per day at $40 per barrel.
The elder Mccarthy Joined him. saw
the well, received a liberal gift of
money and then shook his head omin-
ously.
IT'S good thing Danny" he croak-
ed, we're doin' well but, mark me
worruds VEIL niver set the river on
fire, me by"
A few days later food wrecked one
one Of Dams small wooden tanks. the
oil ran down the river, and there was
great excitement. AS Dan and his IA
ther stood on the bank watching the |
oil float away Dan drew a match and |
lighted 1t.
Father" he said coolly, "the next
toime yez say or nlver set the river
ON Are plaze reminder that OF had a
chance wanst. and-and didn't do ut,
bedad"
Then he blew out the match.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-29
Odd Coincidence,

Not many years since pastor In
New York State read In, his pulpit this
portion Of hymn:
Well, the delightful day will come
When my dear Lord shall take me home,
And shall see his face
Just then he was stricken with paral-
yss and died in a few moments. Thir-
ty-three years before in the same pull
pit another pastor was reading the
very same stanza when he. too, was
stricken and died.-Scran Book
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-29

ply few dozen paper ones A white
oilcloth serves finely for table cover,
and fiat rock--or even the ground
Will prove as good table as Is wanted.
A few weeks In an open camp, liv-
Ing the wild, free life Of pleasure and
unrestraint, will prove most beneficial
to boys that have overstudled during
the school year, and they will come
home from their outing like ''new
men," brown and healthy
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-29
che was sweet old lady, but afraid

che was a sweet old lady, but afraid
Of the confusion of the busy street.
AS she hesitated, the boy came up.
He took off his cap and smiled.
"Let me help you?" he said.
! With the feeble old arm in his, he led
her safely over. 1t cost him only a
minute and a little thought
1t was tribute that youth owes to
age.
| 1t was simple kindness.
1t was thOughtfulness, and, Of course,
politeness, because polteness Is moth
Ing but consideration and thoughtful
ness Of other people.
1t was sympathy. The feeling that
made the boy want to be of some serv-
ice to the old lady was the same feel
ing that makes every one of us who has
heart and Is not ashamed Of it want
t. help everybody who is down or in
trouble or unable to help themselves.
And it was chivalry toward woman
kind. We all possess that-some of it.
1t Is such a tremendous pity, isn't it,
that we are growing so selfish that
we haven't always time to be cour-
teous? There are still places in big,
busy America where men take off their
hats In public elevators when women
are present. Foolish? Perhaps But
the spirit that prompts it isn't foolish.
1t Is only survival of that world-old
feeling that every man owes all respect
to every woman.
When the boy helped the old lady he
not only assisted her and himself did
a kind act, but he furnished a lesson
to whole world full of people-Cin-
cinnati Post.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-29
ParlOr Magic.

Mr.. kybosh, who was in search of a
late copy of monthly magazine, absent
mindedly stepped into the paror.
He was just in time to see the young
man hastily remove his arm from the
beck of the chair in which Miss Kitty
was sitting
Pressed. O! Change ~ he muttered,
Instantly stepping back into the sitting
room.
For Mr.. Kybosh remembered that he
was young man himself many years
ago.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-29
WOMAN'S SENSE OF HONOR.
Her Special Code for Conduct Toward
Her Husband,

| Her Husband.
A well-known American warder said
to me: Il have been in prisons for
men and In prisons for women. Dis
cipllne In the former is child's play
compared with the latter. AS soon as
a man realizes there is no use in resist
Ing he gives In. But the women, even
when we put them in strait jackets
always manage to extricate at least
one finger and to agitate that in a re-
belllOus manner"
In the matter of conduct toward hus-
bands and consideration due to the
better half" there is an especial code
Of honor, says the Pail Mall Magazine
1t has the stability that sanction by
women Of all countries gives it, but it
does not resemble any code that man
would observe toward another man, nor
which woman would employ toward
any human except her husband. This
code includes the right to search pock-
cts, consult notebooks, open letters,
read those already opened. 1t includes
the right to confound household and
personal accounts, to use on self the
money intended by the master of the
house for paying bills. This system is
not frequently admitted, no doubt, yet
we remember one newly married
woman who announced as a little tri-
umph, when l buy for myself some
thing I don't like I just sell it to the
house"
The peculiar indulgence which the
conjugal state seems to call for as re-
CARDS the weaker sex In matters Of
honor more or less delicate was thus
strikingly summarized by a philan-
thropist accustomed to all sorts and
conditions of people. Among the poor
whOm she visited there was a woman
who In a fit of rage or jealousy had ;
killed man. In relating to me the ,
ease the philanthropist concluded sadly. |
YES, she killed him, and he wasn't !
even her husband"
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-29

First Reporter-I see by the last edi-
ton that our old schoolmate, Jones, has
committed suicide.
Second Reporter-IIurry down and
you may be in time to prevent his do
Ing it.-Smart set.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-29

"What are the requisites Of sue.
cessful musical comedy?"
"Oh, about dozen song hits"
"Yes?'
"And twice that many attractive
misses. ."-Washing Herald.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-29

Many man bewails his lack of sue
cess in life after he has permitted him
self to get into a rut While dreaming
Of success he has been as blind as a
bat and slower than two snails. He
blocked his own way.-Mancheste
T1pfnp
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-29
WIZ d ON nnd XaInr.

1T takes a wise man to know when
to change his mind" said one states
man.
Yes answered the other, "and a
brave one to own up to it when it is
accomplished" Washington Star.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-29
Hardly Ever.

A husband may forget the bird
When wifey leaves the city;
But seldom does the lonely man
Forget to feed the kitty.
Houston Post.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-29

I suffered with Eczema for forty
years and could find nothing to
cure me until I tried s. s.. s.. I
suffered intensely with the itch
ing and burning; pustu1es would
sticky fluid; crusts would como on
the skin and when scratched OF
the skin was left as raw es q piece
Of beef. I suffered agony ia the
long years I was afflicted, but
when I used 8. s.. 9. I found q per-
feet cure. There has nevor been
any return Of the trouble.
G. II. EVANS,
Stockman Neb
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-29

We don't know, Cordelia. but doubt,
less Mother Nature and Father Time
are twins
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-29

rsTc s.. Vitus' Dance ana all Nervous Diseases
(t5S permanently cured by DIR. Kline's Great
Nerve Restorer. Serd for FREE So trial bottle and
treatise DR.. r. II Kline, Id. e3l A-ch ST., Phila, Pa
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-29

Mothers will find Mrs winslow's Soothing
Syrup the best remedy to use for their childreG
during the teething period.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-29

Bill-Did you say he has horse sensef
Jill-No; why, he hasn't even got mule
sense. l never knew him to kick in his
life !-Yonkers Statesman.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-29
TOO SfrRnnOna

"My son tells me you've discharged
him." said the Office boys mother, "and
think that's strange; you ADVERTISED
for a strong boy, and he's certainly"
Hes too strong. madam" interrupt
ed the employer. ''ln the single day he
was here he broke all the rules Of this
Office and some of the furniture -
The Catholic Standard and Times.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-29

When a man has a good JOB he
should take out a fire insurance policy.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-07-17
Died Yesterday.

The death occurred yesterday at th'
residence, 5l2 hanklin avenue of Mia
Naomi Mitchell, ged IL years. The de.
ceased lady bad been III for some time
She was sister oi the late Rev y W
Garner and wa. born IN England
Other relation. OF the deceased are Mrs
Dr. II, A. Wright nf seattle, Mrs, Fred
Barker and Mary Ruth Garner Of As
taria, all nieees A, u and J W. Gar
ncr. both Of Astoria. nephews, Miss Nit
ehcll had been resident 81 Astoria foI
the past 20 yeats and was well known
and highly esteemed for her charitable
work.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-07-17
In Memoriam--.

In Memoriam--
Well today that old Salt Matthews
leaves us,
He's going back to Maine,
just going back to see the old home
And the old folks once again.
Oh, yes! you bet we'll miss him
When the schoner's in the harbor
Won miss him and his stories at the
Pilot office corner,
Yes, we'll miss the old songs
"There was little bird" Coon, Coon,
Coon
And "Ain't That Shame"
Yes, Wen all miss that old Salt Mat
thowA
For he's going back to Maine
This~alleged verse is the contribution
of Dell Sculley Is per cent?,
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-07-17
A Presentation

Capt. II. A, Matthews, the retired
bar pilot, will return to his old home in
Maize today for an indefinite period.
His friends in Astoria took the oppor-
hnity to show their appreciation OF
Capt Matthews by presenting him with
a handsome charm made of an elk's
tooth mounted in gold, The captain has
been in Astoria since 1880 and have
had a most successful career, never los
ing ship.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-07-17
Vice President FaIrhanks--

Tho vice.President passed through
Astoria yesterday en- route 10 Portland
where he was the guest Of honor at O
banquet rendered him by tho Press Club
OF that city. With the exception Of
Governor Chamberlain representing the
state and Mayor Lane representing the
city, All present at the dinner werc
newspaper men. Tho Vice President left
ior the Fast this morning.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-07-17
Civil Service

The rcgdlaf annual examinations IoI
the positions Of deputy collector and
clerk, and storekeeper and gauger for
this Internal Revenue District will be
held At each Of the following named
places on September g. 1907 For oppli'
cation forms and further information
apply to the local secretary, board Of
examiners Mt the postoiIice in any OF
these cities, Astoria, Or, Eugene, Or,
Pendleton, Or. Portland, Or.