The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-02-03
The one about Mary and the Lamb

that the ambitious Maiden of the New Century really wants?
 What could Mary. living in a Flat, do with a Lanbf In the first place the Janitor wouldn't let her have one.
 Revise the Narrative and have it start out by saying that Mary ahd full set of Gray Squirrel Furs. pair of Roller Skates. some Boxing Gloves, a set of Golf Clubs. large Photograph of John Drew, a five-pound box of Candy and a Baby Grand Piano, and immediately you would interest every sweet faced Lassie over eight years of age who is on to her Job. It may be that when the Verses were written, about 200 years ago. the aver age Mary thought she was doing pret- ty we'll if she owned a Lamb. But nowadays Mary has everything that Father can get for her on Credit and any time that he falls to come up there Is a Riot.
 Mary had a little lambv" The sophis- ticated Marie of the present Hurrah Period will not look at a Lamb after she has passed the age of three She wants six or eight Roosevelt Bears, | each about the size of Newfoundland Dog, and she keeps them propped up In her Room merely as Ornaments Even if Mary had a Lamb 1t couldn't toiloW Her to SchoVi' oecause she riucS on the Trolley.
 If the Children must memorize a lot of Untruthful Verses regarding Mary and some kind of Animal, why not rig up 6 corking good Lie--one that will appeal to Junevile Imagination?
 Why not say that Mary had a trained Snake 32 feet long that she stole out of a Menagerie?
 The Snake is very devoted to her be-
 R-Nk every day.
 One day Mary Is walking in her fa- thers magnificent Private Park that cost over $1.000.000, when she is at- tackled by a handsome Brigand with a long Mustache and Black Cloak. who wishes to Kidnap her and hold her for a Ransom. after taking away from her the s16,000 worth of Precious Stones she is wearing on Ter Pors,n at rhe time.
 Mary shrieks for Assistance, and the faithful Boa Constrictor. asleep in the Conservatory, hearing her terrified Cries. pushes up a Window and crawls out just as the William is dragging the Beautiful Girl toward a Closed Car riaee.
 The brave Snake throws himself up- or the Miscreant and squeezes him to deoth. while Mary returns calmly to her own Apartment.
 This is pipey. of course. but If you must hand the children any Story, for goodness sake give them something good and shivery.
 Cut out the W. D. Towels kind of plain old fashioned Realism and give them the Romantic School.
 Play up the Conspiracy Gag and fea- ture the Deadly Encounter. That's what the Children want. They don't care a Continental whether Mary had a Lamb or not. They want to read about somebody being killed in the Moonlight.
 Mary was all right when she first started on her Travels with an incipient Sheep Ranch traiiing along behind her, but unless she gets Wiggle on her self she will nave a rough Finish.
 The Magazines have taught us to love the Wild Animals.
 kipling and Ernest Seton. come again Thompson take the UEchin by the hand and lead him among the Ben gal Tigers and the snarlinG Grizzlies.
 The bleating Lamb would soon be a Dead Card were it not for the finger ing Prejudice of Parents who were brought up in the Country
 It Is all right with Mint Sauce, but it Is hard to take as Fiction.