davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-01-13
What Bioeraphes Do to the Fa1nousr Dooley on Glory

raymimbers him as man that cuddent
spell an had a wife who smoked a corncob
pipe. 1 raymimber Abraham Lincoln FIR
frein' tn slaves, but Hogan raymmbers
how he used to cut loose yarns that made
tn BARTENDER shake tn stove harder thin it
needed. 1 raymimber Grant FIR what he
done around Shiloh whin he was young. but
Hogan raymimbers him FIR what he done
around New York whin he was old.
An so it goes. Whin lad with nawthin'
else to do starts out to write biography
about a great man, he don't go to TIL
War Department tn public library. No,
sir he begins to search tn bureau drawers,
old pigeon holes tn records iv tn polls
coort an TIL recollections iv tn hired girl.
He likes letters betther thin anything else.
He don't care much FIR TIL kind beginnin'
Dear Wife: I'm settin' In front iv tn camp
fire wearin' tn flannel chest protector we
made me an dhreamin Nv ye. but if he can
find one beginnin' Little Bright Eyes: Til
old woman has gone to the country he's
months thravel.
Hogan had wan iv thin books in here
tn other day. Twas written by frind so
We can see it wasn't prejudiced wan way
or another. AT this time says the book,
AN ivint happened that was destined to
change TIL whole coorse " our heros life
Wan day, while in sthreet car, where he
lay dozin' fir m dhrink. he awoke to see a
beautiful woman thryin' to find nickel In
a powder puff. TIL brutal conductor tow
cred over her. an it was thin TIL
gin'ral cud bear. Risin' to his feet, with an
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-01-13

his wife: OF girl can't find anything mt
to dhrink down here. Can't ye send me
some cider firm tn farm In 1885
he was accused iv embezzlemint, but tn
charges niver reached his ears or tn pub
lies onti eight years afther his death.
In ct his foster brother. that he
had neglected in Kansas City. slipped on
his ballroom f1ure an broke his leg
In 10 his wife died afther torturin' him
FIR fifty years. They were a singularly
badly mated couple. with family Nv four
teen childher. but he did at live long to
enjoy his happiness. FIR some reason he
niver left his house. but passed away with
in a month, one of tn gr-reatest men tn
cinchry has pro1ooced. For further details
iv tn wrong things he done see tn notes at
tn end iv tn volume.
"It seems to me. Hinnissy. that this here
thing called biography is a kind Nv an on
set FIR histhry. Histhry lies on wan side,
an biography comes along an makes 1t
rowl over an lie on tn other side. His
thry says q man is nearly q Gawd; BIZ
ography says he's on'y a poor kind iv
man TIL HISTORIAN says. go up; tn hi
ographer says. come down among US.
don't believe ayether Nv thin.
II was taIkin' with Father Kelly about i,
afther Hogan whit out. Were they all so
bad, thin men that I've been brought up to
think 50 gloryous?' says l. They where
men, says Father Kelly. 'Ye mustn't be-
lieve all ye hear about thin. no mather
who says IT, says he It's thrait Nv hui
man nature to pull down tn great an
sthrong. TIL hero sthruts through h'sthry
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-01-13

oath, he pulled tn rope iv tn fare register
an fell off tn car.
9TH incident made deep impression on
tn GinraI 1 have no doubt he often
thought iv his beautiful Madonna iv tn
throlly. although he niver said so. But wan
night as he staggered out iv tn dinin' room
at tn German ambassadure's where he had
consumed his custom'ry four bottles iv
brandy. who shud he run acrost but tn
fair vision iv tn surface line. She curt
sled low an picked him UP. an there be-
gan q friendship so full iv sorrow an hap
piness to both iv Thin He seldom min
toned her. but wan night he was heard to
mutter: Her face is like wan iv Rem
brands saints A few historians contind
that what he said was: Her face looks
like a remnant SALE but / cannot be-
lieve this.
They exchanged brilliant letters FIR
nanny years. in fact ontil tn enchanthress
was locked up. have not been able to find
amy Nv his letters, but hers fell into TIL
hands iv wan iv his faithful servants. who
preserved an published thin. Glove an'Let-
Agonized; Stolen, Collected an Edited be
James Snodgrass.) - Next year was
MIN rable FIR tn gloryous victhry at Punk
helm. all tn more wonderful because at
tn time our hero was sufferin' firm deleer-
yum thremens. 1t shows tn fortitude Nv
tn Gin'ral an that he was as great q
liar as I have indicated in tn precedin'
pages, that with tn cheers Nv his sojers
ringin' in his ears an pink monkeys danein'
before his eyes. he cud still write home to
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-01-13

with his chin up in tn air. his scipter in
his hand an his crown on his head But
behind him dances a boot-black imitatin
his walk an maxim faces at him. Fame
invites a man out iv his house TO be crown
ed FIR his gloryous deeds. an sarves him
with a warrant FIR batin' his wife. lis
not in tn nature Nv things that 1t shouldent
be So We'd all perish iv humilvatlcn III
tn great men iv tn wurruld didn't nave
nachral low-down thraits. If they don't
happen to possess thin, we make some up
FIR thin. We allow no man to tower over
u.s. Wan way or another We level TIL wur-
rud to our own height. If We can't reach
tn hero's head we cut off his legs. Ii al
way makes me feel easier about mesilf
whin L Tread how bad Julius Cayzer was.
An 1t stimulates compytition. If great
ness an goodness were hand in hand tbs
small chance amy iv us wud have iv seem
our pitchers in tn papers
" But says I. mo wan wud liver thry to
be sloryous If he knew that he was on'y
epenin' up tn way fr a. careful inquiry into
his personal habits says 1. 'Yed catch me
leadin' an ARMY again a lot of la-ads
with cannon If / thought that it was goin'
to make some fellow begin to call on me
dentist to find where 1 bought me teeth
says l.
'Ye'd niver stop to think says he. No
wan liver does. Glory is a chance like TIL
other thing. 1t all comes or doesn't come
out in tn days job, an We can't stop or
help 1t. An no wan will talk bad about
We afther We ARE dead onleSs we've done
somethin' that makes people talk good iv
ye. I'd have some throuble gettia' an au-
jience rr story about Hogan but lave
me whisper: Did We hear that yarn about
Grover Cleveland. an 1 go lie
to me hearts contint.
IAN so it is that tn battles We win, tn
pitchers We paint, tn people We free, tn
childher that disgrace ye. tn false step Nv
we've youth. an the false tooth iv ye're age
all go thunderin' down to Immortality to-
gether An afther all. isn't it a good
thing? Til Only biograpry 1 care about is
tn one Mulligan tn stonecutter will chop
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-01-13

forced off some other way, I suppose.
You're a curious envoy for a confiding en-
ployer in Liverpool to send out into the
bush"
have done It. But this new X. O'Neill
hasn't seen my cutaway chin. ks a
hustler. but he's young. remarkably
young.
getting him a rubber property?"
We'll curiCusly enough. | have. At least
I've bought him UP few square miles Of
country that rubber vines would grow on
well enough If il was cleared, and planted
and tended. and no one put ju-ju on them"
1T IS get-at-able?'
1T = on some river or other. The ditch
isn't marked on the map. but | daresay a
steamer could get up If 1t was worth while.
TIE titles as good as one could expect"
THAT means II won't be jumped so long
as you pay fifty pounds year to the next
claimant
II should say five-and twenty will fix
him" said Slade lazily You see he's head
man OF the next village and he thinks he s
got some reproductive bush to sell him
self I've rammed into his skull the great
truth that his deal cant go through il he
starts trying to jump his neighbours land
and unstcadies the market. think those
considerations will outweigh even his mig
gers love for litigation" He went on to
give listlessly enough few more details of
the transaction.
Mr.. Smith was well versed in the ways OF
ciate TO nicely all the haggling and the
patience and the tedious arguments that
had gone to build UP these complicated bar
gains He screwed in his eyegass and
looked at Slade attentively. Il wonder -
he said. why you always make yourself
out to be such an Internal waster? You
know you must have been doing some
laundering good work. l couldn't have
put that deal through, and / know my West
Africa well as you do or better. There s
not one man in five thousand could have
managed IL. What's your trick?'
'Oh, found myself in comfortable quar-
tiers. and | couldn't make up my mind to
move and try more likely country else
where. So | stayed and talked rubber
palaVer with the headman. One had to do
something for amusement. Besides they'd
tree Of alligator pears in the village that
were exactly ripe, and it would have been
a crime TO leave them to benighted Afri-
cans. BY the way, very rude of me not to
ask you before. but what have you done
since you left the coast?"
Got into a very ugly hole" said Swizze-
Stick Smith. shortly. land wriggled out of
IT by the skin of my teeth
Rubber palaver?"
NO"
ooh sorry for inquring. I thought that
was what YOU came up for?"
80 il was. and | started Off from the
coast with full intention of carrying out
O'Neill and Craven's business. But got
led of on an old trail.
"Ah" said Slade. thoughtfully. 81 be-
lieve | could guess"
Crossings dangerous. But I may as
well own up to you frankly that I've been
seeing the King of Okky'
well. you've nerve. / shouldn't have
cared for that job myself"
1T wasn't pleasant Okky city jars ones
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-01-13
CHAPTER XII.
Again Presents the Head of the Firm

Fires the only thing we have to be
frightened of for the present. said Car
ter land this soft. soggy wet timber OF
which the fort is built wouldn't burn
without lot of persuasion. Still, all the
same I wish 1 could think of something
that would make it absolutely fireproof"
1.-The ancients," said Miss O'Neill fused
to cover their works with raw bulls hide
to ward off fire arrows. That wise remark
comes from some school book. but I've for
gotten where. Laura can quote?'
NO said Laura shortly.
mot having bulls" said Carter 1--WE
can't have their hide, but I'll just let word
ooze out that if the Okky-men attack
Wen skin those we bag and nail up their
pelts-"
mfr Carter"
well. beg your pardon for being hor-
rible, but 1 tell you frankly that If
thought for a moment that a message like
that would be believed I'd send it in a
moment. You know, Miss Head. were in
an uncommon tight place, and as acting
commander-in-chief. tell you fatty 1t
will be q case of 'all-in' IL Ii comes 10 a
scrap"
"Oh, missy, dem Carter mean he fit for
use ju-ju besides guns" White-Man's-
Trouble explained.
at couldn't have been put more neatly.
We must call in even the powers of dark
ness, as far as they'll answer to whistle,
If it comes to open fighting. But In the
meanwhile, as some SOIeinn luiOt HI q
text book, preparedness for war Is the
best insurance for peace, and l ask You
to observe this tramway which the boys
have laid down during the night. Trouble
here was ganger, and I've only had to
bang him for letting the gauge spread in
two places"
us il to show sightseers quickly round
the works." Kate asked
mo, madam. I shall mount on trucks
those two tin-pot brass Misunderstanding Sig
nal guns that you bamboozled out of old
Image, have emorasures df that's the
word for holes to shoot through at all the
corners, and / can rush those guns round
to fire at all points of the compass at a
pace that will surprise friend Kwaka. IL
he is In command of the enemy. 1 am
pleased to say Kwaka looks for the super
natural when he is dealing with me, and
make a point Of conscience in seeing that
he gets it. found some sheets of yellow
tissue paper in the feteesh here. all mot
tied with black ulildew. and they gave me
an idea I cut cut a leopard and pasted
him together and left a hole In him under
meath. and fitted that with q wire carrier
and a cotton wool burner that will hold
spirit"
what fire balloon?"
"Just that. With a dose of trade gin on
careful manipulation. We'll have portent
sailing up into tie sky that will astonish
the Okky-men's weak nerves in most dis
astrous STYLE"
"You are really a most ingenious per-
SON.. said Miss ONeili. isn't he.
Laara?"
"I suppose So" said Laura
cts that Bile ssed Cascaes that's the
weak spot In this defense / suppose I've
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-01-13

out fr l like Mulligans style f'r he's
no fiatherer. an he has wan model iv BIZ
ography that he FIR old an young.
rich an poor He merely writes something
to tn gin raj effect that tn deceased was
a peach, an lets it go at that. But if amy
wan wants to write biography iv me I'M
contribute some fun to this weary
ruld. let him do it. says I. Nawthin wud
please me betther thin to know that some
day ye will think ye ARE a betther man
thin 1 am. But not FIR tn prisint.' sage
he"
Which wud We rather be. famous or
rich?" asked Mr.. Hennessy.
I'D like to be famous said Mr.. Dooley.
IAN have money enough to buy OFF all
threatenin' birographers."
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-01-13

Boy. fill Mr.. Smiths pipe and bring him
fire"
You know that Kroo word. Oomsha. that
means sultana or woman-above-a-he adman,
something like that?'
Il heard a tale of Oomsha once some
where up Sokoto way. She's been head
wife of an emir. and when he died she killed
all the heirs and ran the town herself. l
thought 1t meant more witch or conjurer.
It's a ju-ju word
well. l won't quarrel with you over ety.
mology, and seem to agree enough on
the definition for practical purposes. Now,
my boys said that this white woman was an
Oomsha Did you hear that?',
mot I. tell you l thought it was Laura
they were gassing about, and I didn't
trouble myself to inquire more deeply
Dash it," said the old man fierceiy. do
rouse up and interest yourself in something.
What the deuce has white sultana got to
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-01-13

fully fond of the lad. So / just retrieved
him. and we both got bit clawed in the
process. But it was purely a matter of
business for X. O'NeiH. The old goat of
headman wouldn't listen to any suggestion
for buying rubber lands before. Dash it all,
Smith, l am slack. i know. but 1 do try
and put in bit of work for the firm in re-
turn for my pay sometimes
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-01-13

do messing around the coast factories. es-
pecially O'Neill and Craveus? And let me
tell you that's what's happening"
is the mythical lady setting everybody
by the ears and preparing for a holy some
thing?'
That's the maddening part of it. They
all seem to he her. She's stirring up
everybody she upSetting your factory and
mine, she's drs eyed the man with the red
head in alteration to her feet and then
spurned him from her. and SHE'S even cap
as one of her servitors.
'Poof, barney old Image! Now. that
proves you've got onto a fairy tale
Mr. Smith thumped an emphatic fist on
the hard stamped floor beside him. II tell
YOU / have not The bush telegraph never
lies You may misunderstood it. but II you
take time and trouble. and dig deep
enough you'll always come to the truth OF
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-01-13

~~P - ELL, sir said Mr.. Dooley
u Hogan has been in here
MAJ this afternoon, an I've
WV hoerd more scandal TAXED
thin l liver thought was in
the world"
Hogan had hetther keep quiet" said Mr..
Henncssy. If he goes circulatin' amy
stories about me I'll"
-Ye needn't worry said Mr.. Dooley
I'VE didn't condiscInd to talk about amy
wan ~ ye're infceryor station. If ye want
20 be tn subjick ~ our scand lous discoorse
ye'd betther go out an make reputation
No sir our talk was entoirely about tn
gr-reat an illustrous, an it ran all tn way
firm julius Cayzar to Ulysses Grant.
"Dear, oh dear. but they were tn bad
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-01-13
KATE MEREDITH,
FINANCIER.

CONTINUED from Sixth Page.)
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1907-02-08

During newspaper mems conven-
tion, number of journalists were one
afternoon talking of the tricks of
"the faithless types" when Henry
Watterson said:
while I've heard of great many
funny typographical breaks in my
time, about the oldest and most hui
morous transposition of the types that
ever came within my observation was
that in New York paper some years
ago. That sheet used to print its ship
ping news on the same page with the
obituaries. Imagine the glee with
which its readers found the captions
exchanged one morning, whereby a
long list of respectable names were
set forth under the marine head
Passed Through Hell Gate Yester
day y.'"-Harper's Weekly.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1907-02-08
Men Have Not Degenerated.

1t is common to hear of the giant
people who lived in the old days, yet
it is decidedly uncommon to find proof
that the average ancient was any lar
ger or more powerfully built than the
average person of the present day.
The Egyptian mummies show these
people to have Eeen of medium size.
The remains taken from the catacombs
do not differ in size from the people
of the present, while the armor which
was worn by the warriors of the long
ago fit rs readily the forms of people
who are not at all gigantic or at least
extraordinarily above the average Ell
ther in girth or stature. There were
great men in the old days. but as great
still obtain In this twentieth century.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1907-02-08

Don't SEND ten dollar flowers to the
funeral of n man whose family is left
without any income
The man in a dangerous location
never thinks he is in Il dangerous loca-
ton or he wouldn't be there.
The owner of horse and buggy
tries 20 be modest, but he can't help
showing that he feels little superior.
The first insurance against trouble
that children learn about is to get a
promise from mother that she will not
tell father-Atchison Globe.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1907-02-08
METHODIST EPISCOPAL.

METHODIST EPISCOPAL.
Rev. G. w. Sower, Pastor.
Sunday School, "a. M, VIM. Barton,
Supt.
Preaching, I0:15 a. m. and 700 p. m.
Epworth League, 900 p. m. Will
liam Veitch. Pside1t.
Junior League, Wednesday 2,3O p. m.
Mrs. r. r. Hartshorn, Supt.
Prayer meeting, Thursday eve., 7:30.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1907-02-08

PRESBYTERIAN.
Rev. G. 81. Lowry, Pastor.
Sunday School, $3.50 d. M, w. 81.
Roose, Supt.
Preaching, 1890 a. m. and 1880 p. m
Christian Endeavor, 6:45 p. m.
Prayer meeting, Thursday eve.. 1880
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1907-02-08
American Apples For Europe.

Europe may denounce our meats and
canned goods, but there is at least one
food product we export that she is glad
to get, says the Elmira Advertiser.
That is the American apple. The
steadily increasing demand for that
fruit is but one more form in which
Americas influence is showing itself.
Only a few years ago the idea Of ship
ping apples across the Atlantic would
have been scoffed at. But things have
changed. Now no less than 256,655
barrels of apples leave our Atlantic
ports every week for the old world.
Since the season began there have
been shipped from New York 367,993
barrels, from Boston 100000 barrels
and from Portland, Me-, 75,26I barrels.
The extent Of this trade has been con-
stantly increasing and will continue to
do so, for never before has America
turned out as fine quality of apples
rs this year.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1907-02-08

weights that hung directly above him
and they nearly tore his head from
his body, as the elevator began to as
cend.
The wedging of Sautters head be-
tween the weights and the heavy oak
rail stopped the elevator and attract.
ed the attention of other workmen,
They instantly reversed the action OF
the elevator and released the butcher
In the hope that life still fingered
doctor was summoned but his visit
was futile. The mans neck was
broken and his lower jaw crushed.
Utterly unconscious of the terrible
fate of her husband, Mrs. Sauttel
and her younger son were enjoying
the play at Burt's theatre. When
they returned to their home on Samp'
son street, near Sylvania avenue, they
found DIR. Miller awaiting them tc
break the awful news.
Jacob Sautter was about AZ years
old. He came to Toledo from Wes
ton six months ago. He was the
father of two boys, one of whom
Dwight, aged 10, worked in the pack
ing house with his father.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1907-02-08
DEAD WATER.
Eject of This Queer Marine Phenom-
enOn Upon n Ships Speed.

One of the most curious marine phe-
nomena known to seamen is that call
ed by Norwegian sailors dead water"
which, without any visible cause,
makes a vessel lose her speed and re-
fuse to answer her helm. The sailors
only definite knowledge of its origin is
that it exists solely where there is a
surface layer of fresh water resting
upon the salt waters of the sea. Sew
eral explanations have been advanced
by the captains of ships of the effect of
dead water, the commonest of which is
that the two water layers move in diff
ferent directions. The true eXplana-
ton, however, recently offered by Swe-
dish navigators and verified by mathe-
matical calculation and direct expert
ment, is that in addition to the resist
ance waves" at the surface the vessel
creates second line OF subaqueous
waves between the two strata of wa
ter.
The experiment carried out to DEM
onstrate the truth of this theory was
an exceedingly pretty one. A large
plate glass tank was first mounted on
a wooden frame. The tank was then
filed to a certain depth with salt wa
ter, and layer of fresh water was
carefully poured on to the surface, so
that two separate water layers were
obtained.
The salt water was blackened with
liquid Chinese ink before the water
layers were prepared, and in this way
the different layers were made clearly
visible. A boat model was then towed
along the tank and a silhouette of the
waves produced was obtained by plac-
ing white screen at a short distance
behind the tank. The waves were also
photographed by tiashlight, and the re-
suits showed conclusively that waves
actually were set up at the boundary
line between the two liquids.
Further experiments were made to
verify the sudden loss of speed due to
drawn across the tank and the towing
! string suddenly slackened when the
boat was about halfway across. In
| cases where the tank contained salt
water only the boat stopped gradually,
moving some boat lengths after the
towing string had been slackened
When the tank contained layer OF
fresh water resting on salt water, on
the other hand, the boat slackened
speed quite suddenly and moved only q
very short distance.
| These experiments, carried out on q
small scale, prove conclusively that the
difficulties encountered within dead
water zone are really due to the re
sistance experienced by the vessel in
generating invisible waves at the fresh
water salt water boundary, although In
some particular cases the influence OF
undercurrents must also doubtless be
taken into account.-New York Herald
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1907-02-08
His Promotion.

A somewhat turbulent private wrote
to his mother: 81 am sorry you had no
letter last week, but am a defaulter,
and it gives me heap of extra work"
The good woman in reply begged him
hot to be too hard on the others. but to
remember he had been private him
self. l regret to say that he roared
with laughter and read the letter aloud
for the benefit of all who shared his
room. - Miss NJ. Loane, Queens
Nurse, in Contemporary Review
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1907-02-08
TERRIBLE ACCIDENT

Continued from First Page)
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1907-02-08

ST. ROSE OF LIMA.
Rev. j. Fl. Kleekamp, Pastor.
Low Mass, 1880 a. m. daily.
High Mass, $3.50 a. m. Sundays.
Catechism 80 p. m. Sundays.
Vespers 2:30 p. m. Sundays.