The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1907-03-21
LEARNING TO FORGET.
ny Ella wheeler wilcox.


A young woman who has for six years
been engaged In n love affair with young
man whose station r. higher than her own.
fnds that he - now b.comin. nd.ncrent
20 her and bcstow.ng his attentions upon
others In his clsss She asks mo to tell
her how sh. can forget him. The flame
ur love stu burrs In her heart and she
- very unhappy. She wishes to know
how she can ~Stinguish u.
a man writes m. and says: II am In
love with a gri. who. having deceived
and Led Co me for several months. has at
last given me proof that she IL unworthy
OF any mans love and respect: but tho
fact remains that ! stili love her. How
can I obliteratc this wasted passion from
my heart and her from my mirdT
Ny two correspondents have given me
a dlfncult problem 10 solve. ~ ! re-
marked once before In this column. No
have many professors OF memory In tho
land. but none OF torgctfuiness. There
are various methods which teach US how
TO recoilcc,. but no method teaches US how
60 cfacc unwclcomr memories from tho
mind.
Yet there - method for those few who
have the determination. the will power and
the perseverance, To pursue u. In the ilrst
place. throw away every mcmento ana
token OF the PERSON and experience you
desire to forget, IL u II possible, change
your locntior and go among Row scenes
and surround yourself with new faces.
F.il every hour with work aud study.
Take upon yourself new and engrossing
duties. BE occupied: employ your days
SO thoroughly that you are physically and
mentally fatiguci when night time comes.
Exercise Ia the open ar as much as pos
S!blc. and take cold baths once or twice
a day. This will induce sleep.
When the fascinating set urwclcome
memory undertakes 10 ASSERT itself turn
Immediately and busy yourself about some
task which requires all your power ~ con-
ccntration. Interest yourself In other p"o-
plc's Ives. DO what you can every hour
OF every day as YOU pass along the high
way OF lie to cheer. encourage and COM
fort every Fellow traveller.
~ you can AFFORD the time necessary
take up some one i.re Of study and en-
dcavor 10 perfect yourself In g. Mus.c.
language. painting, sculpture, stenogTa-
ply. artistic necdiework. millinery. wood
carving. no matter what-anytaing which
appeals to you and which you thiak you
can wei, do.
when you have choycn your study mako
tea rnint Co read whatever YOU can ind
regarding The Ewes of those who have cx-
ccliei in this vocation. All this will help
To- lead you away from the one pursuing
memory. Avoid such books aud plays as
help to Tcsurrcct this memory.
Ask tho unrcen guardian angels who arc
always accessible To- our call To help you
IN your Efforts To forget. and never for
"A single day fail to keep yourself occu-
pied.
AVOID solitude. Surround yourself with
people nS much a. possible. DO not talk
about your trouble Ia them: Listen rather
To tho stories Of their lives. Good listen
crS are always more popular than good
takers.
You viii for weeks. perhaps for months.
imagine that you are making no progress
In forgetting. yet Tine wears on you
VIII discover longer and longer Intervals
in which You do not think OF your sor-
row: then. aRa,n, when you imagine yon
have almost forgotten II. II will rise sud
denly from It's grave and confront YOU:
but ~ you do not cuddlc Il and enter
tain u. q will 50 back To the tomb whcr.
all ghosts belong. and n II finds you busy.
active. occupied and anxious. IL Will not
30 trouble you soon again.
Ghosts do not enjoy the companionship
OF people OF that type. but rather of tho
dreamer lost In dangerous rctrospection.
The science OF forgetfulnsss is one of tho
most difficult To attain. IL cannot be
achieved In n moment: Il must DO waited
and worked for,