Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1907-09-06
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only know the minute price.-Town.
Talk.
First Commuter-What do you do
with yourself evenings? Second Com
muter-I take the 3 :O3 train from the
city.-Puck.
"How was the comic opera?" "My
wife thought the costumes were dis
gushing" 81 guess III go."-Louisvllle
Courier-Journal.
Cook-Now we've 'ad words you'll
be lookin' for another cook to keep.
company with? Pollceman-Not me.
I'll starve first Punch.
Hadsum-I want a good revolver.
Dealer-A six-shooter? Hadsum-Bet-
ter make 1t nine-shooter. It's for a
cat next door.-Ally Sloper.
"Now that your sons in college,
suppose he'll be getting very exclusive;
he'll be getting into the 400" "Oh, he's.
more exclusive than that already he's
on the nine. e."-Philadelphia Press.
do you regard baseball as health
full gamer "Well," answered the ply
sician, II should say 1t ought to do a
great deal toward Strengthening peo-
pies lungs Washington Star.
Comparative Stranger What's OH
the excitement about? Summer Board
er-Nothing; Just lynching. The man
who wrote the folders about this place
is coming down ON the train.-Puck.
Yeast-Our boardlng-hous lady has
been taking cooking lessons, and she
says next week she is going to try her
hand in her own kitchen. Crlmsonbeak
is that threat or promise ?-Yon
kers Statesman.
First Boy-Did you really win three
prizes at school? Second Ditto-Yes,
and one was for my excellence of mem
ory. "How did you win the others?"
''The others? l forget what they were
for."-Black and White.
Father-Well, how does your husband
succeed with his art? Does he sell any
pictures? Daughter-I should think so!
Why, there is not single one left Of
those you gave us for wedding pres
ent.-Fliegende Blatter.
Mrs. Goodart-I always feel so sorry
for those poor shop girls; they're so
overworked, you know. Mr.. Goodart-
Well, my dear, the best way to help
them is to keep away from bargain
sales.-Catholic Standard and Times.
Miss Elderleigh-Jane Jones is q
mean, spiteful old cat. Miss Younger
What's the matter? Miss Elderleigh-
l told her that my family came over in
the Mayflower and she asked me If I
was seasick.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Mr.. McDooley-Faith, an 1t do be q
question OF have fer yez, me darlin'.
Miss Clancey-Pfwat Is it, Pat? Mr..
McDooley-Whin 1t comes tonne for
the funeral, how would yez like t. be-
tn Widder McDooley y?-Chicago Daily
News.
: Wise-He's very wealthy. Mrs. Wise
Yes, and very stingy and mean. Wise
Come now, you're not sure Of that.
You mustn't judge a man by his
clothes. Mrs. Wise-I don't. I'm judg-
ing him by his wifes clothes.-Phila-
delphia Press.
"Our engagement will have to be
temporarily suspended" announced the
summer girl, calmly. "Oh, impossible"
the young man vowed. at will have to.
be- My husband writes that he is COM
Ing down for a week. k."-Louisville
Courier-J Journal.
"My good man." said the lady mis-
sionary, "do you ever pause to think
where you are going" "Sure ting"
replied the unlaundered hobo. EFF I
didn't might get on de wrong freight
an land back at me startin' place v'--
Chicago Daily News.
do you think the time will come
when there will be no money in poll
tics?" saidsone boss. Il don't know"
answered the other. ut won't be our
fault If 1t doesn't. We have done the
best we could to take out all there was
In t."-Washington Star.
Russian Oficial-You can not stay-
in this country, sir. Traveler-Then,
of course, 1 will leave 1t. "Have you a
permit to leave?" No, SIR" "Then I
must tell you that you can not go.
give you twenty-four hours to make up,
your mind as to what you will do."-
Tattler.
Train holdups" said the old trav-
eler, "are nothing new for me. I've.
been in lots Of them" "How does 1t
seem to be covered with a revolyerY,
asked the listener. Cant say" replied
the old traveller. "I've always been
held up with a whlsk broom."-Mil-
waukee Sentinel.