The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-07-03

''RattIesnakes on Toastg Was
the Cowboys Order.
BUT He MET WITH HIS MATCH

The PrOmptnsus With which the
Tough Waiter Served the Dish Took
the TerroTs. Nerve Away-Ths Re-
past and the Final Request
| Away back in 1876 man named
rurpin established a restaurant In
Yuma. and among Turpin's original
employees was a waiter named Job
Straight, who could shoot with great
precision, play draw poker with un-
varying success and pack eighteen
plates of miscellaneous grub upon one
bare arm at one time. he could exc
cute all the prevailing melodies either
on plano or guitar. and he possessed
the most tremendous baritone voice
ever heard in Arizona Why, men some
times went to Turpin's just to hear Joe
deliver gastronomIc orders. No per-
feet description can be given OF that
voice. however, except to say that ut
times 1t really did make things clatter.
Once a fresh young cowboy from
near ella Bend entered Turpin's for a
Christmas dinner who took a startling
concoction as an appetizer and then
dropped thud-like at a table and rough
~ shouted to Straight:
"Say, there. Badly! Bring me some
grubr'
Job was at first appalled,; but, recov-
ering his reserve limit of equanimtty.
he brushed an imaginary breadcruInb
from the frescoed tablecloth and
whisked bin of fare from the valie-
gated castor and placed it before the
new young terror of the Bend.
Take it awayt' cried the latter in
tones that could give StraIght's ordi-
nary. everyday baritone a castle and
checSmate it in five moves. II don't
want to read your darned old tract.
don't care darn who came into the
world to save sinners. Bring me some
grub-g-r-u-b! Grub! Grub! Grub!'
What do you want?"
'Rattlesnakes on toast! And want
you to hump yourself" ...avs: esss:Sa
Whats that2' sss''s ESssSss
I've given my order. you baldheaded
old cigar store sign, and want you to
get move on yourself, p. d. q. Rattle
snakes on toastw
"Rattlesnalles on toastr' cried Job to
the cook In accents that would have
paralyzed Carl Formes had that old
basso profundo been living and heard
them. --~,4-~-.>..
"Rattlesnakes on toastW was the re.
Verberating response from the cook
upon receiving the order.
There we're a dozen or more people III
the restaurant, and their eyes were at
once turned on the young person from
the Bend and the Infatuated waiter
In the meantime the cook had taken
a big catfish and cut It into four strips
and rolled these strips in batter, so
that they much resembled the Wand or.
dered, and after placing them in the
frying pan he stuck his head out of the
Kitchen and shouted to Job:
You want Them rattlers rare or we'll
doneT"
The waiter repeated the interrogatory
in cyclonfc way, and the terror re-
piled in as violent a tone and manner
US he could command. well done, with
plenty Of gravy and Chill Colorado"
And then Job Numbered to the cook:
well done. with plenty Of Chill Colo
RADIO hot as -, and moccasin gravy
on the side and brochettes Of sand
crane livers and CHA monster lightsr"
There was an instantaneously dead
silence in that restaurant. and all eyes
were again cast upon the terror and
the waiter. The former turned ashen
pale and began to weaken perceptibly,
while Job gazed at his victim.
Maybe you don't think we can serve
all the market Affords muttered Job.
Maybe you don't like moccasin gravy
or brochettes Ia mode Maybe you
amt hungry"
Say! You've got mel amt hungry,
80 help me. couldn't eat single hard
boiled egg rocatee::l:;:,.l tAat burned 4
order. Cd sa.n. ::ad I'll pay all ex-
1enses ana 20: 'aCl ~ - long as any.
body can dr:ak. Ber par,,on. gentle
men. all. NJ first attcrs9t to be ter
me, gentlemen. It's my
astr
And then he handed his revolver to
lob and added:
Take that pistol, old man, as a
PRESENT and promise me that the next
line any burned fool comes in here
md calls for rattlesnakes on toast
'ou'll shoot him dead!"
But Straight was too ravlng mad all
he way through to willingly emerge
rom situation only tolerably tri.
lmphant. So he took the weapon Just
IS the order was being placed ON the
able and, pointing it at the terror.
Exclaimed:
Now, then. my boy. dump yourself
nto that chair and eat them snlkes-
zones, skin and ALL"
The young fellow did as he was con- {
handed, but after finishing his repasI ! i i
taggered the uncompromislng Job by :
houting:
I say, Badly. bring me another
late of snakes"'- Denver News.