West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1907-12-05
he Is The Only Solacs and Comfort
for I Q Pislsss Applicants.
The jim C0MHlrTEE Is BESlEGED
Bio. Rarl.y peBsrry's Unsuccessful Cen
test With Dr.. Scott in Sweepstakes
Race for the B. Of Z. Prize.

/ y
gracious act OF the governor, am
the one beng whom the unsuccess.
full applicants for pie come to 70,
solace aud comfort in their hour OF
disappointment. Comrade Ed Mes.
senger says this is due TO the tacl
that misery loves good company. ]
fear there will be an army of miser,
able applicants by the time the jim
committee gets the slate ticket com.
pleted. '
Applicants, accompanied by their
frisnds, besiege the headquarters OF
the lin committee at all hours and
Pieman Whetsell is kept quite busy
presenting their cards for an au.
nience with the Hon. Jimlets. Thus
is much valuable time lost to Pieman
Whetsell, who otherwise could utilize
1t more prohtably by repairing the
leaks in our tax laws, proddlng the
corporations. and ringing down the
corridor OF time the praises OF the
Hon. Charles w. Swisher, who has
been selected as our gubernatorial
Candidate. Charley is also prime
favorite of the liquid refreshment
entertainment committee, who do
things In campaign times. Although
Pietnan Whetsell is a cold water dis.
Upie and a respected amen corner
Occupant, he is not averse to the
liquid refreshpent entertainment
epWmittee during campaign times
placing the goods in the hands OF
those who prefer II before entering
the sacred booth. A slight inhlla
ton of the liquid gives them a
clearer vision TO vote the ticket
straight.
The house OF delegates was the
pie which held the boards Of the
jim committee headquarters this
week. Many came and presented
their credentials, but few were &C.
cepted. The old war horse from
Gainesville, Bro. David c. Zinn,
who has worn himself hoarse in
whooping for the cause which has
made us monarch of all pies, drew
the legislative pie for the west leg of
Cheat river. This means that Bro.
Zinn will have to have his whiskers
trimmed Van Dyke before he goes
TO Charleston. where they pull whis-
keIs as well as legs after you enter
the portals of the City of Graft.
eGThe lucky drawer Of the lessla-
tive pie tor the cas-, arm Of Cheat
was Bro. Farley DeBerry There
are many reasons why Bro. DeBerry
should have been awarded this pie.
Reared in the camp OF our enemy,
where pie is as scarce as the reduc
ton in our taxes since The food, he
had to choose between flial love for
his ancestors and mess Of pie with
u.s. 1t is, an ordeal which some
hegoic men have faced every time
the political tide went out. Bro.
DeBerry chose the pie road and
regret to say that his FIRST applica-
top was rejected by the people who
haye not been educated TO the point
ofisppreciating a sacrifice Of such
magnitude. The Jimlets are of the
opinion that Bro. lin Lakin made
a mistake In entering Bro. Farley IN
the board Of education sweepstakes
race, tor the records show that he
broke several times and did not
reach The quarter pole when DIR.
Scott passed under the wire. Ac.
cording TO the rules governing rae.
ing Bro. DeBerry cannot be entered
again for another race, which means
that he has been politely invited to
return 10 the dray. So the Jimlets
have decided that it was no fault OF
Bro. DeBerry that he lost the race
and they have agreed that he is 10
ln troued around Tie race course
this time without opposition.
Between the Jim committee and
the Old Family Journal have a
two fold duty to perform. Just now
Piemsn Wheisell is sorely perpIexec
explaining how the foods increased
the farmers taxes without his per
mission. He unfolded sohem,
which he was formulating by which
he proposes to prove that the in
crease is due TO toe slubbofBness d
The ARGUS and the kicking o
Leader Shaw. have suggested t.
him that he stick to his first inspira
ton and blame the floods, as h,
need fear no denial from them, al
they have passed away and M
friends remain 10 defend them, bu
If ne. arouses THE ARGUS and com
rade Leader Shaw from their Stun
bers the chances are he would begir
praying for another food. We can