Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-08-31
HE FELT IT COMING

Yes. siree." maundered the red-nosed.
inconsequential-loo little man in the
groggery. as he blew the foam OF the top
of an edition of the tallest in Washington
for nickel, there's goin' to be a panic
all right enough. There sure is l kin
feel 1t a-comin'. All the signs pint to it.
It's in tn air. Stock market a-tumblin'
and all tn rich peepul with money t in
vest a-gittin' skeeart an all like that.
Oh, there's a panic due all right. You kin
take 1t from me-"
However. none of the loungers about
the groggery appeared to be in a state Of
any immediate alarm over the prediction.
They just went right on lounging.
An it's a-goin t be some panic. too"
went on the little red-nosed man. Devil
t pay an no pitch hot-tiiat's what It 8
a-goin' t be. Tell you what, it's a good
thing t. be Twin in Wash'n'n endurin' a
panic. Ysee, pancs don't much hurt this
town Old gov'ment coin keeps tn pot
a-bilin' here. But in them commercial
towns gcemeeny crtckey, but wen this
panic comes-an it's a-comin, you hear
me-there'n be tough times"
The barkeep swabbed the bar off with
his gumy towel and the loungers con-
be in the least dsmayed by the direful
representations of the little man with the
rummferCus beak.
This yere Roosevelt Teller may be all
right amt sayin' that he isn't-but he
sure is a-,okin' it into them fyenanciers
all right, all right" the inconsequential
man pushed forward. unmindful of the
neglect with which his discourse was being
received. An, after all. them's tn peepul
That run things in this country, hain't
they? An. If we didn't have no fyenan-
ciers. we'd be bum dooces in a punker.no
deck, wouldn't We? An there's sonlethin'
lIlOI how
min things? Well l guess, An Yet
they're gittin' it Were Minnie wears tn
moose-teeth. 1t amt right. that's what
I'm a-sayin'. No-pec. it amt right!
Hey?
And still the habitues Of the groggery
Were quite undiSturbed. They Tapped up
their suds with quite their usual COM
plaiSance. and continued to gaze around
them in quite their ordinary soused bovine
way. and the little red-noSed mans per-
sonally conducted monologue wasn't STAN
peding them little bit But he was go
ing Just to suit himself. and so he con-
tinued:
Remember them soup-houses that they
had around Chicago an New York an
them big towns back in ninety-thrce?
Well. that's what we're a-goin' t git
agln Soup-houses. That's what. Helluva
note. too wen tn United States gifts into
tn soup-house game. amt 1t? Well. I
shn'd squeak. Soup-houseS, Great gag,
Wen TIL best we kin do in this country is
t start soup-houses FIR men that amt got
no work, We ought t. go bag our heads.
that's what. Hey?"
But they just wouldn't get het up. They
declined to. They Were busy with their
grog and their own thoughts and their
own lo'ling. and the promise of the eco
teenchy little bit
You fellers may think panics is fun"
went on the little red-nosed man. but I'm
a-teilln you that they're not. They're tn
bad stuff sure 'nough Homeless widows.
starvin orphans. an all like that No fun
bout panics. An we're headin' FIR panic
just as sure as we're standin or sittin'
here. you listen t me-"
Just at this stage of it a huge. stout.
tai woman. with tOusled black hair and
hatchet face and Just an ordinary string
pulled around her house wrapper to keep
II down at the middle. bounded through
the swing ing doors of the GROCERY
She took one short but extremely com
prehensive, look at the rad-nosed it'll.
man, and then she was at him in about
two-and half jumps
She grabbed him by the slack of his
coat collar and yanked him around in
front OF the bar for little while. Then
she damned him up into a dim corner of
the groggery. against the beer refrigera-
tor. and swatted him couple of singing
ones In the face with the palm of her
bum-looklng straw hat off his head, tossed
1T oEto the floor, and stamped on II, all
the time maintaining her clutch on his coat
collar. Then she reached over with her
left hand and poked him a real tidy one
right In the pit of the stomach evat ing
several eloquent grunts from him Then
she stood him up against the bar. and
shaking her loose hand at him. she ad-
dressed him thus:
You little chopped-off sawed-off bum.
YOU! You zero with tn rim tore off, You
little rattE hunk o nothin'ness, You piece
o cheese. You onnery bar-room loafer.
stand!n' here with a crowd o. lazy, drunkin
louis. an drinkin' up tn money that l
stand over wash-tub + get, You com
mon, cheap. no-account piece of trash =,
You slab-sided rabbit that amt done a
Gays work sence I married you. You.
you-you come along with me this min
net. you hunk o glue. or I'll break ev'ry
bone in your Ood-f'r-nothin' carcass. an.
II you let out s-much enc word PHI"
by this time she had him through the
swinging DOORS and the rest of her little
address. as she all but booted the little
red-nosed man down the street to their
peaceful shack, was lost upon the grop
gerry loungcrs. But they hadn't forcottc,
the little monologue of the reG-nosed man
That duck was there wit tn dope. all
right wasn't he?' observed one of the
lounscrs. with rummy grin There
sure was panic all right"