Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-10-04

put in hot air engine to help me do
the blowing. Greatest success you ever
saw, sir. Blew the molasses out Of
seven barrels a week right along for a
1 year. Blew right along for twelve
hours a day and convinced the most
/ skeptic. ard I had the trade of the
town all c0ppered when my competitors
induced my wife to elope with a min
/ lister and break me up. I tainted away
when I heard the news and did not
/ come to for a week. During this inter
/ val the hot air engine blew itself up
/ and the grocery as well. No insurance.
When I told my darling and only child
that her dear mamma had taken a
skate the little thing fell over dead.
had orders ahead for leven different
jugs Of 'lasses. and when l could not
fill them / had 'leven suits for dam
ages. I was dashed from the pinnacle
Of hope To the depths of despair in a
fortnight"
I'm. nm. I'm" grunted Mr.. Bowser
D the tramp paused.
Then my house took fire and burned
to the ground No insurance. Then
went insane and had to be taken to an
asylum for a year When 1 got out
had just 30 cents and a blasted name
in my pocket I was down, sir. but not
discouraged. 1 bought an elephant on
trust and started in to raise young ele-
plants and train them to draw baby
carriages. 1 had ten Of them all ready
for the market when the mumps came
along. and every last one Of the beasts
keeled over Wasn't it heartbreaking,
sir?"
I'm, umr'
But ambition was not yet dead. 1
ran across a man who had confidence
in me. and he set me up in the SQUAD
business. 1 had a thousand young
doves ready for the market and had
been promised 30 cents apiece for them
when they suddenly changed into wood
peckers and were dead loss on my
hands. Scientific men and naturalists
couldn't understand it, but I was ruin
ed again Just the same. When found
that this was a fact 1 threw myself
down on the ground with so much
force that l ruptured myself in three
different places, I lay there until
caught a heavy cold and became the
victim of consumption. At the present
time my ailments consist Of three rup-
lures. one case of consumption, one en-
larged liver one spine out of plumb
and one case of asthma. Yes, sir, but
there is still one more fight left in me,
and I am here this evening to appeal to
you"
I'm. I'm"
'rhe crying need of the age is an
icebox that can he used for other pur-
poses as well. 1t can be a piano, a
folding bed. Il potato bin, a family
medicine chest, a clothes closet an
AQUARIUM and u savings bank all in
one. I have got it on the market
What do you say to a partnership:
You furnish the cash, and III furnish
the brains
Orders Tramp to Leave.
Mr.. Bowser had realized from the
first that the tramp had been string
ing" him and had been gradually get
ting madden and madden If it hadn't
been for Mrs. Bowser sitting on the
steps across the street he would have
done something almost at once. As it
was, he waited, but when the story
was flushed he rose up and said to the
man:
Get off the steps and out of the
yardr'
why, Billy. what's the row with
yOu?" was asked.
You are liar and a deadbeat
sir!'
"Oh, come, now. old party, but don't
get your back up. If you've got the
cash I've got the brains. and We'll
make a big thing of that icebOx. Sup |
pose you handed me half dollar now
and
Then events happened. Mr.. Bowser |
reached for the tramp's collar, and the |
man started down the steps and began
TO call names and use swear words.
Then there was a whOop and rush, /
and a hundred people sprang to their
feet in alarm. Out of the open gate
like a wild horse running for his life
went the downtrodden whose hot air
engine had ruined him, and close be-
hind him followed Samuel Bowser,
who had been his companion. The
evening air was rent with whoOps and
a clatter and shouts of inquiry and
alarm, and pursued and pursuer pass
ed on and on and on and left only an
eddy OF dust .shind them to show that
human beings had been there.
NJ. QUAD.