davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1907-01-13

usual manifestation of emotion on the part
Of this self possessed man.
HE complained Of being i'll, cir, and
gave him leave of absence without pay"
who was he?"
His name was Brown, sir"
did you know him? What did he look
like?"
We'll. sir, we take so many of EN- on at
every port that l confess I didn't know
this one. AS to his looks. sir-well, he was
suffering from neuralgia and his face was
covered with baudages"
did he take anything ashore?"
"Only a package of cigars, bundle of
old clothes and a pound cake"
"'rhe deeilv calculated Barnes.
"Oh, sir" cried the foreman, there was
nothing duuable, sir; l can take oath to
that. l gave a personal examinat ton, and
can assure you that he only had the old
clothes the cigars and the cake
What did he want with the cake?"
well, you see, sir, his mother was a
Devonshre woman and he was taking
home a cake made in her old home. A
bit OF sentiment, sir. That was the ex-
PLANTATION he made to me, sir
Summon all your men on the after
deck" said Barnes, .artly.
Clancy looked on with some curiosity.
The old man often did queer things and
he wondered what this last move meant.
In five minutes all of the deck hands we're
Omaha daily bee., 1907-01-13
Is Paid with own Coin.

William H. Berry. state treasurer OF
Pennsylvania, was talking in Harrisburg
about graft
"Grafters seem to thrive at first" he said
but retribution overtakes them in the end.
II is like the two newsboys and the bad half
dollar.
Two newsbeys had counterfeit half dol
lar, and after discussing for some time the
best way TO get rid of II, they decided to
try 20 pass II on on a theater.
so they took their places on a cold night
in the long line before the gallery door OF
a popular theater, and the first one held the
bad coin in his hand. It was their idea that
in the hurry and confusion the ticket seller
would not take time to examine the money
handed TO him.
And they were right When the first boy
reached the box once the man accepted the
half dollar without question, and in return
handed out a ticket and quarter change
The second boy, grinning with JOY. then
handed forth a dollar for his own ticket
He got tEe ,sat da!is---S,1. Ecas
Omaha daily bee., 1907-01-13

handed 1t to his assistant. The young man
was an act Of extreme courtesy, Suddenly
1t dawned on him that this was the news
paper that had been picked up on the floor
Of stateroom No. 13. He glanced over the
journal carefully. 1t was a copy Of the
Daily Banner of June 10, 1905, 1t did not
seem to have any particular significance.
To make sure Con went over It page by
page and column by column. Barnes, sunk
in the cushions of the carriage, watched
him with a Quizzcal smile. Suddenly
Clancy gave an exclamation of surprise
A little section of the fourth column OF
the fourth page about an inch deep was
missing It had been neatly cut from a
column of small advertising headed Per
sonal." Con turned to his companion.
did you notice this?'
Certainly"
Clancy was silent for a moment then he
turned to his companion:
What made you sceptical about the
suicide? The evidence was conclusive"
ut was too conclusive; that made me
doubtful"
did this cut newspaper influence your
Sure A man may write poetry when
he is in the queer state of mind which
precedes self-destruction, but he is hardly
likely to cut advertisements from news
paper. Now, the important thing to find
out is what was clipped from this paper.
Don't you feel curious?"
Omaha daily bee., 1907-01-13

conveyed no more information than his
enigmatic smile The passengers were co..
Letting their small baggage and the deck
hands preparing to lower the gangplank
Get the name OF every passenger and
see that each one is identified" came
sharply from the chief Inspector
TO make doubly sure, Barnes stood on
the wharf and shrewdly scanned each per-
son. AS the last tourist alighted he heaved
sigh OF disappointment and slowly made
his way back to the deck of the vessel.
Chief" said Clancy, meel1ly, there
don't seem 10 be any doubt about this be-
ing suicide"
Barnes stamped his right foot in angry
impotence. But almost instantly he re-
covered himself and was the suave gentle
man.
1--WE will look little further into the
matter, Mr.. Clancy" was his formal reply.
Con was about TO speak when the chief
broke out suddenly with:
whats NNat?"
Following She range of his pointed finger
Clancy saw rope gangway near the other
end of the steamer The foreman of the
deck hands, responding to the call Of
Barnes. came up and saluted.
whats that for2" repeated the chief,
pointing to the offending rope.
For the deck hands"
ANY OF 'em gone ashore?"
only one, sir
Barnes groaned aloud. 1t was an I'M
Omaha daily bee., 1907-01-13

after dinner speech In Philadelphia in
this way: Il must confess that ! dread to
make after dinner speeches. At the most
sumptuous dinners, even at such a dinner
as this one, l know that at the end I
must make a speech; l am nervous, l
have no appetite, I find little to admire in
the best efforts OF the chef. In truth.
gentlemen, l can readily imagine Daniel,
II he was at all of my mind, heaving a
sigh of relief as the lions drew near to
devour him-heaving a sigh OF relief and
murmuring: Well. IL there's any after
dinner speaking to be done on this occa-
sion. at least it won't be done by me- -
Chicago News.
Omaha daily bee., 1907-01-13

lined up like man-o-warsmen. The chief
turned - the foreman anu said ia mis- curt
way
Count en-"
The foreman did so, wonderingly AS he
concluded a look of perplexity clouded his
face. He counted a second time.
"All there?" queriej Barnes, sarcastic
ally.
Yes" stammered the foreman; "all here,
sir."
Brown. too?"
81 don't know, sir"
Call Brown"
The foreman obeyed. An unkempt look
ing man stepped forward.
you see." said the chief. with a sar-
donic laugh, Brown didn't go ashore. All
your men are here"
But, SIR" said the man, haltingly, III
any Of 'em ever go ashore its always with
out pay"
"Fathead"
Barnes muttered the word. He hurried
to the end OF the wharf. Clancy by his
side. A passing cab was hailed. They en-
tered. The chief poked his head out of the
window.
ITO the office Of the New York Daily
Banner-hurry like hellr'
The vehicle ratified over the rough stones
along the wharf side Barnes sat with his
eyes closed. Presently, remembering that
Clancy was with him. he put his hand in
his pocket, and, pulling out newspaper,
Omaha daily bee., 1907-01-13
Lawyer Outwits Judge.

A magazine editor was talking about W..
w. Jacobs, the humorist
II went abroad this summer" he said
"to try and get Mr.. Jacobs to write for
me, but I found that he had all he could
do for six or seven years to come
"He is a quiet, modest chap. When I
praised his wonderful skill In the writing
Of short stories he said IL was only their
surprises that made his stories take.
Then. 10 illustrate what he meant, he
told me story wherein the surprises
came fast and furious.
He said that lawyer defending a man
accused Of HOUSEKEEPING spoke like this:
Your honor, I submit that my client
did not break into the house at all. He
found the parlor window open, and merely
inserted his right arm and removed a few
trining articles. Now my clients right arm
is not himself, and I fail 10 see how you
can punish the whole individual for an
offense committed only by one Of his
limbs.
That argument said the judge, u
Omaha daily bee., 1907-01-13

question OF counsel for the detense.
sir" admonished the counsel sternly,
you need not state your impressions. We
want facts. We are quite competent to
form our own impressions. Now, sir
answer me categorcally."
From that time on he could get little
more than yes and mo" from the wit
ness. Presently counsel asked:
you say that you live next door to the
defendantY'
Yea"
ITO the north Of him9"
mo"
ITO the south?"
mo"
well. to the east. them"
mo"
"oh," exclaimed the lawyer sarcastic
ally, I'VE are likely at last to get down
TO the one real fact. You live TO the west
of him. do you not2'
No"
How is that. sir?' the astonished at
torney asked "You say you live next door
20 him. yet ne lives neither to the north
south. east or west Of you. What do you
mean by that. sir3"
Whereupon the witness came back"
IT thought perhaps you were competent
TO form the impression that We live IN a
nat" said the witness calmly. but see
! must inform you that ne lives next door
above me."-NeW York Times.
Omaha daily bee., 1907-01-13


90
Flying Through n Flood.
A story Is told about the first run which
the now famous Twentieth Century limited
train made from New York to Chicago.
The story goes that when the fireman low
cred the chute which scoops up water from
between the rails and nils the reservoir in
the tender he failed TO gauge correctly the
capacity OF the tank, and the water, over
flowing. ran through the full length OF the
vestibuled train, so powerful was the force
which impelled II against the door of the
first coach.
The railroad company sought to remedy
this trouble, and on the next run a blind
coach, one without door opening next to
the engine was used. This proved to be a
prevention OF the flood trouble.
One night. after the Twentieth Century
had made a name for itself, a tramp
climbed aboard the platform Of the FIRST
coach as the train was leaving Cleveland.
He knew that the next stop was at Toledo,
more than 100 miles away. and saw an op-
portunity to travel undisturbed on a lin
tied train, but the fireman saw him as he
comfortably settled down for the trip.
When the train took water a few miles
outs the tank overhowed quite profusely.
and again the deluge occurred Just before
entering Toledo. and the engineer tells
that while he was spending a moment with
his engine In the depot in Toledo the most
washed out specimen OF humanity he had
ever seen came up 10 him and said: Say.
mister. what was the name OF them two
Divers we went through ?'-Army and Navy
Journal.
Omaha daily bee., 1907-01-13

town announced that he could tell a mans
political tendencies by looking at his face
His auditors looked at one another with
incredulity.
"Well, ! seldom make mistake. YOU"
he said. indicating one OF the group about
him, ARE a Mckinley man.
That's right" said the man referred TO-
YOU pointing to another, ARE Cieve-
land democrat"
Yes, that is So" answered he. And the
crowd began to sit up and take notice.
YOU. addressing a third, ARE a Bryan
man"
what makes me look that way.'S-Harper's
Weekly.
Omaha daily bee., 1907-01-13

A number Of years ago at a small town
in Maine an important local election was
to take place, and there was strong rivalry
between the republicans and democrats.
Old Hiram Morse, the blacksmith, was a
strong democrat. but many OF the farmers
were republicans.
On the morning Of the election a farmer
came TO have his horse shOd. The black
smith said TO him. Were both busy,
You're a republican and I'm a democrat.
Let's pair on. Wen neither OF us vote,
and II will amount 20 the same as II both
went 10 the polls"
This was agreed upon. After election II
was found that Morse had paired on with
i've republican farmers. Boston Herald.
Omaha daily bee., 1907-01-13
Bunch OF Short Stories That Point a Moral

very we'll put Following II logically J
sentence the defendants arm to one years
Imprisonment He can accompany II or
not, as he chooses
1.-THE defendant smiled, and with his
lawyers assistance, unscrewed his cork
arm, and. leaving It in the dock. walked
out. indianapolis Star.
.
when Boston IL Locked Up.
Secretary OF War William II. Taft has not
a very high opinion OF Boston as a place
to have a good time In, judging from his
answer to an invitation extended by John ].
Cadogan. the real estate man. when the
effort was being made to arrange for the
nations taking over part of Deer island.
Come down to Boston" suggested MT,
Cadogan, and wen take you down the
harbor, give you some good fishing and a
good dinner, take IN a thsater and"
Then put me to bed" continued the
secretary. laughing. Il understand you
lock the town up at II oclock.-Boston
Herald.
Omaha daily bee., 1907-01-13
one on the Lawyer.

VETERAN member of the Balti-
more bar tells OF an amusing
cross-examination in a court OF
that city, The witness had
seemed disposed to dodge the
Omaha daily bee., 1907-01-13

After Dinner sPeaktng.
o'cOnn0r, the Irish politician. began an
Omaha daily bee., 1907-01-13
why Tie Looked that way.

4. northern man visiting in a southern
Omaha daily bee., 1907-01-13
Flying Through n Flood.

quarter in change. Minneapolis JOurna
Omaha daily bee., 1907-01-13
Copyright. 1906 by George Barton.)
BY George Barton.

.RNEs had just finished his sec
ond cup Of coffee and was lying
back I'm an easy chair in his
Washington square apartments
when he received a telegram stat
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-07-03
channed &c Metto.

A southern representative in con
gress is reputed to be OF such per-
suasive manner that, no matter what
party may be in power, he outdoes his
colleagues in procuring favors for his
constituents.
One afternoon the statesman was
met by newspaper man. well, ma
jor." asked the latter, how many mp
pointmehts and appropriations have
you arranged for today? We all know
your way of getting everything that
you go after"
Nothing today" responded the rep
resentative rather YEARLY. "AIy ex-
perience this time reminds me Of the
old Confederate soldier that knew in
Tennessee. I went into this war
said he, with the motto "yeni, vidi,
vici," and came out vice versa -
st. Louis Republic.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-07-03
How They FeoIsd the Preacher.

When our Srandmothers arranged to
have chicken for Sunday dinner-for
the Dreacher-they picked out the big
gest and fatte1t and toughest old hen
on the place Saturday afternoon and
had the boys aad dogs run her down"
A tough old hon that Is chased all over
the place and frightened out Of her life
is rs tender 81 a spring lamb when
cooked. Fright makes any animal,
bird or fowl tender, so the books say,
and it appears from this that, our
srandmothers knew what they were
about when they had the tough old
hens chased before killIng-El Dorado
qSan.) Republican.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-07-03
RoBBERY N PARIs eAEEs.
so Prices on Bills Of Fare, and Walters
Impose on Guests.

80 PRICES on Bills Of Fare, and Walters
Impose on Guests.
Il ten you. said the returned Euro
pean traveller, taking up the bill Of
fare, "Ifs a good deal of relief to ger
to a place where one can know the
exact cost Of things to eat and drink.
When on the other side I narrowly es-
capped nervous prostration because of
the latitude in the prices OF items on
the menu Paris. is about the worst Of
fender among European cities in this
respect In restaurant after restaurant
there prices are omitted from the bill
of fare simply 10 give an opportunity
to rife the pockets OF the unwary.
Take my advice and have as close an
approach to an Ironclad agreement as
possible with your garcon regarding
the demnition totaP of your meal be-
fore giving your order. If you don't.
there's trouble and pecuniary loss
ahead. The waiter, with the conniv-
ance Of the proprietor Of the cafe,
will do all he can TO impose upon you.
zone tragic story that can, vouch
for may be of interest TO American
tourists. 1t shows one variety of res
taurant robbery in Paris illustrating
Incidentally French ingenuity. An
American woman gave a small lunch
con at a well known place TO n half
dozen friends She had no intention
of making Il an elaborate affair. She
knew French ways and had careful
estimate made of the cost of the repast
ordered After the second course she
noticed that the walters were pressing
upon her guests delicacies for which
she had not stipulated, and she OBJ
served. toe. that a point was made of
asking each person II she would have
some of this, that or the other thing.
OF course the viands wer: accepted
These extras were succeeded by 9TH
ers, the poor hostess not being able Tor
felt she was unable, which amounts to
the same thing to stem the tide rap
idly overwhelming her pocketbook.
When she had stormy session with
the proprietor she could get no salts
faction. The things were offered: they
were eaten. OF surety. madame had
ordered them, else they would not
have been served. 1t is impossible
that madame would wish to have con-
sequences most unpleasant She
wisely PAID the bill, but the experience
cost-her dear. -s-
$50, you sec, holdups are not con-
fined to our beloved country. In fact,
1 think that cur polite contemporaries
over the Atlantic know things about
the game about which our desperadoes
are in entire ignornnce"- New York
Press.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-07-03
SWEET MELODY FLOUR.

Get a free sample of DR.. Shops
Health Coffee" at our store. II
real coffee disturbs your stomach,
your heart or kidneys, then try this
clever coffee imitation. DR.. Shoop
has closely matched Old Java and
Mocha Coffee in flavor and taste, yet
it has not a single grain Of real co1-
fee in it. DR.. Shops Health Cot
fee imitation is made from pure
toasted grains or cereals, with malt,
nuts, etc. Made in a minute. No
tedious wait. You viii surely like
it. Sold by all dealers.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-07-03
you the fault lies largely with your

you the fault lies largely with your
self.
A man never cares a great deal for
the pictures taken OF him when he was
a baby.
The idea that there are two sides to
every question didn't originate with
any OF the parties direct.r Interested
It IS right to start OFT - re wiz
an ambition. but don't o~er!oois ii" Ian
portance OF enjoying TIE srcne:y %
the way.
When man picks u, 4 E;:i- u raii-
taloons he has not w-o-a IA 4 long
time. he always feels "a tie rockets to
see if he has left any money i'll them.
-Atchison Globe.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-07-03
SWEET MELODY FLOUR

Kodol will nourish and strengthen
your digestive organs and furnish
the natural digestive juices for your
stomach. It will make you well.
Koiol digests what you eat. Sold by
Ell druggists.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-07-03
SWEET MELODY FLOUR

Headache and constipation disap-
pear when Rings Little Liver Pills
are used. they keep the system
clean5 the stomach sweet. Taken
occasionally they keep you we'll.
They are for the entire family. Sold
by H. F. Burke.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-07-03
SWEET MELODY FLous

The best remedy for backache,
weak kidneys, Inflammation of the
bladder is DeWitt's Kidney ard
Bladder Pills. Their action is
prompt and sure A weeks treat
ment for csc. Sold by all dealers.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-07-03
SWEET MELODY FLOUR.

When there is the slightest indi-
cation of indigestion, heart burn,
aatulence or any form of stomach
trouble take a little Kodol occasion
ally and you will get prompt relief.
Sold by all druggists.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-07-03

HuncreGs OF peop1e yearly, go
through painful operations need
lessly, because they never tried Man
Fan Pile Remedy. It is put up in
such a form that it can be applied
right where the trouble lies. 1t
relieves the pain and Inflammation.
1t is for any form of piles. Price
so cents. Sold by H. F. Burke.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-07-03
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

Trouble comes natural to some peo-
pie, just like freckles or curly hair.
How differently orr side OF a fuss
sounds vixen presented by our enemies.
The cha@eo3 Gre if people distr.at
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-07-03
SWEET MELoDY FLOUR.
Use Kennedy's Laxative G,

Use Kennedy's Laxative Cough
Syrup. Contains no opiates. 1t
drives the cold out of the system by
gently moving the bowels. Con-
:airs Honey and Tar and tastes near
" as good as maple syrup. Child
rem like 1t. Sold by all druggists.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-07-03
Man Ian pie Remedy comes 4

Man Fan Pile Remedy comes /
up in collapsible tube with a noz-
zle. Easy to apply right where
soreness andd Inflammation exists.
It relieves at once blind bleeding,
itching or protruding piles. Guar
anteed. Get it today. Sold by H.
F. Burke.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-07-03
swEET arnLopY FLouR.
GREENIAWN

4 beautiful and well kept ceme-
terry near the city. All lots under
perpetual care. Think what that
means, perpetual care. For any in
formation desired call $50 w. Main
ST.. the cemetery, or git Home
phone.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-07-03
A Brilliant Tnoraht.

Mistress Ito :naid after the partly
So Frau Y. called this afternoon. What
reason did you give for my not seeing
her? Maid-I told her we had big
wash on.-AIeggca,iorfer Batter
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-07-03
swEE 1ELoDY FLOUR

Pineules are for the kidney and
bladder. They bring quick relief to
backache, rheumatism. lumbago.
Tired worn out feeling. They pro-
duce natural action OF the kidneys
in altering waste matter ont Of the
blood 80 days treatment 800.
Money refunded II Pineules are not
satisfactory. Sold by H. F. Burke.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-07-03
4. Killed Hin.

81 should fancy the laundry business
was about as easy as any to start"
what makes you think 500"
"All You haze % do j. 10 lay in sup
ply Of starch"
yes
"Well, that'l starch you all right"
Three days af.er there was burial
London Tit-E:ts.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-07-03
piles get quick and certain relief

Piles get quick and certain relief
from DR.. Shops Magic Ointment;
Please note It is made alone for
piles, and its action is positive and
certain. Itching, painful, protrud-
ing or blind piles disappear ike
magic by its use. Large nickeLcsp-
ped glass jars soc. Sold by all
dealers.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-07-03
SWEET MELODY FLOUR

A watch purchased here means
that you will always have the time.
]. F. Krohme, the jeweler.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-07-03
sweet MBLopY yLoUR.

Meal tickets at Manhattan Cafe So
for 81 meals.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-07-03

Meal tickets at Manhattan Cafe IS
for 81 meals.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-12-25

ever, by the thought that a change
in his accustomed work might short
en- his life. He is most happy in the
discharge of his present duties, and
unless prevailed upon by his sons
he Is likely to die in harness.
Justice Harlan received his early ed
ucation in Kentucky, where he was
born. In 1861 he removed to Louis
vile to enjoy broader field in the
practice of his chosen profession.
With the outbreak of the war he
raised regiment and became colonel.
After Is months service in the union
army, upon the death of his father
he returned home. In 1871 and again
in 1875 he was the Republican candi-
date for governor of Kentucky. In 1876
he was at the head Of the Kentucky
delegation to the Republican national
convention, and it was by his effort
that Hayes was nominated for presi-
dent. He caused the name of Bris-
tow to be withdrawn and directed the
vote of the Kentucky delegation to
Hayes. This move caused Blaine's de.
feat by II votes. A few months after
Hayes Inauguration Justice Harlan
was appointed to the supreme bench.