New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1907-07-13
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Having bought out tho principal funeral COM
panies In Vienna and assumed the responsibility
for CARRYING tho undertaking business OF the
whole city. the municipality has decided TO go
step further by introducing system OF burial In
surance covering not only the cost Of tho funeral
and OF the grave but also, when desired. the cree
ton Of Il suitable monument in addition All this
is 20 be carried out through the medium OF the
Emperor Francis Joseph Jubilee Hfe Insurance
COMPANY an institution which forms yet another
department Of the city's municipal activity. Tho
insured must be between the ages OF eighteen and
fifty, in good health. and not engaged IN any dan
gerous occupation. In the event OF death occur
ring within six months from the date OF insurance
the policy Will be void. and the premiums paid will
be returned BY payment Of a capital sum the
company viii agree 10 keep graves in order and TO
decorate and illuminate them on the feast OF Al!
Souls IN every year so long as the cemetery is in
existence.
Attentive ,waiter-Fgei Ike GGgp Of tea siFI
-HarpeT's Weekly.
The friends of n detective attached 10 West
Side precinct having laugh at his expense
While riding on a broadway surface car a few
nights ago he detected two piclIpockets at work.
ana Immediately arrested them and started for the
station. a hanson obtained. and the three
entered the detective in the middle. Some time
during the trip the dips managed to get TO the
detectives pocketbook. containing the greater part
Of his months salary. and threw it out OF the win
dow The plain clothes man did not discover his
loss for some time. He then went over the ground
the hanson had traversed. but some ono had al
ready appropriated the wallet.
Jimmy jenkins to new boy in neighborhood)-
yG Ha Gq m 6ofyHes nS on the Bench
Jimmy Jenkins-Den he's wit some bush league.
kid fer dere Amt no SIGH player In de National er
American!-Puck.
Doubtless many New Workers. wonder why a
poroemans badge or shield is worn Just where It
is his coat. but any patrolman would explain
quickly. The old men on the force believe that
like the old helmets, IL has saved many officers
life 1t has detected many bullet. and stopped
many knife thrust. In the dark sem-dark
the CLEAN of the metal shield catches the would-b
assassin's eye. and instnctively he shoots sabs
at It. Even close range fairly heavy bullet
will be turned aside by the shield. Even when on
plain clothes duty. when the badges pinned on
wastcoat suspenders. the old men take pains to
place 1t the heart. great is their faith in
the efficacy of the little piece of metal.
Little WrIe-say, pa. what part of speech is
woman?
Pa-Woman my son. ia part OF speech; Shea
all Of it.-Chcago News
Forty members of the Order Bnai Birth rep
resenttng District Grand Lodge No g. went to the
grave of Hay last week and decorated 1t with
a huge wreath OF flowers. In the course OF his
address A. Lewenthal said: I'VE do this as Jews.
because from the eminence OF his official station
he called TO the signatory powers of the Berlin
treaty to keep their plghted word inviolate to do
justice to tho Jew. 1t is because of the up
lifting character OF Mr.. Hays craftsmanship that
we his memory. and this reverence we
1 would pay Just the same had his action favored a
! people other than prosecuted co-religionists'
Mrs. A.-Your husband always dresses so quietly.
Mrs. Bile does not. You ought TO hear him
| when he loses collar button.-CeVeland Leader.
IF men must smoke in subway cars why won't
| they smoke good cigars?'' walled a girl the other
| day she got out OF train at the
| bridge. They invariably pick out the worst
brand of weeds they find Even then, II they
would only really smoke. 1t wouldn't be SO bad
| But they don't. If they did that the guards would
sec II and would really have 70 stop them SO thew
content themselves with an occasional and surrep-
titous puff that barely keeps the cigar alive And
is there anything worse than the rank, dank dis
| nal smell Of bad cigar half dead? There Is an
! other kind of a subway nuisance--in skirts this
one. She ushers brood of her young into the
most crowded of the cars. and when a man gives
her his scat she puts two of her progeny on Il and
makes them kneel down and look at MIR. Belmont 9
scenery. Naturally. the little dears don't keen
their feet STILL and the result isn't very good for
n summer dress"
Little Mllie-Granddad, what makes a man al
| ways give woman diamond engagement ring
Grandfather-The woman.-PIck He Up.