davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27
Another Diplomat Discovered.

From the Chicago R>cord-Herad.
Before We were married. SHE com
planned, you always engaged cab when
you took me anywhere. Now you think
the street car is good enough for me-"
No my darling, I don't think the
street car is good enough for you. It's
because I'm so proud of you In a cab
you would be seen by nobody, while can
show you of to so many people by taking
you in Il street car.
You dear, Forgive M If I gave you
pain in saying what l d,d"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27
His ExBerience

From the Philadelphia Press.
Well" said Kwoter. there's a good
deal in that old saying Early to bed
and early to rise "
That's right replied Nupop, I
scarcely get settled i'm bed these nights
before I'm up again with the baby"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27
Decadehce of Roman Art.

Prom the New York Sun
Caesar had just fallen at the base Of
Pompey's statue.
Alas" cried the Romans, this would
never have happened if we had an ex-
allied art censor
And yet there were those who contended
it was a criticism in itself
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27
EIenen-,enr-oId Sportsman.

From the Alahabad Pioneer.
The heir apparent Of the Sirguja State,
a boy of eleven years, has developed a
remarkable aptitude for shikar. He began
10 use a gun when only seven years of
age, and up to the present time has ac-
counted for seven tigers, six panthers
and two bears. not to mention other large
and small game
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27
Very Gentle Then.

From tho Houston Post
1t is only when Uncle Sans war ships
enter harbor on a mission of charity
that they may safely be ordered out.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

undoubtod prerogative TO prescribe facial
adornment for him who would come
a-wooing.
The issue over whiskers is age-long.
Grecian civilization dispensed with whis-
kers. and Grecian civilization was blotted
from the face of the earth. Roman civili-
cation that was built upon the ruins OF
that Of Greece. was finally overcome by
bearded men from the North. Had the
women both Of Greece and Rome spurned
their beardless men. as is now being done
by the marFiageable young women OF Ne
braska. the whole history Of the world
might have been different
And so we commend the Nebraska
movement to other parts Of our common
country. The safety razor is, we fear. a
sign of degeneracy. II is the enemy of
whiskers. II is a too convenient weapon
of destruction. II mows down the strug-
Cling stubble and leaves barren and UNI
attractive wastes where nature had in
tended luXuriant growth of silken fo-
liage to hide abhorrent defects We think
We have dlscerned the symptoms OF a
recrudescence Of whiskers In the Con-
gress of the United States. If We mistake
not, "A count OF faces there would show
more countenances adorned. and at the
same Time concealed, as nature intended
they should be. than those that are ut
terly and brazenly exposed. The day was
when our statesmen wore no boards. But
they cultivated with great pride and as
siduity long forelocks and permitted the
hair Of their noble heads to grow down
TO their shoulders. Thus they in part
apologized for their contempt Of whis-
kers and they managed 70 get along
pretty well. Their present SUCCESSORS, with
a few notable exceptions, crop their hair
short, but compensate for their defiance Of
Natures laws by permitting the hair cells
OF their faces to perform their proper
functions, either In whole or In part
thereby showing just pride IN their cranlaI
lines of beauty and at the same time Civ
ing due heed to the eternal verities by
coHcealing physiognOmicaI defects.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
NOTHING NEW.

The Chinese had their bad combines
A thousand years ago;
Ihey knew of rebates and Of fines
A thousand years ago
Their gTafters worked like busy bees
And subsequently took their ease,
Helped out by technicalities
thousand years ago.
iheir statesmen Office bought with taeis
thousand years ago.
And had fiirtations with the jails
thousand years ago.
Beneath the sun there's nothing new.
the Chinese had their mergers, too;
And sometimes built state house-whew
thousand years ago.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27
4 Slap Back.

From the Philadelphia Press.
so" said DR.. Kadley, you're one Of
these osteopathS, eh?"
II am. sir" replied Dr. New.
An, and you recommend people TO
throw physic TO the dogs, eh?''
No, indeed, I'm very fond Of dogs"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27
No show at All.

From the Atlanta Georgian.
The Philadelphia Telegraph has an cdi-
torial on THE Automobile Show" The
automobile may have a show, all right
but the Pedestrian has not.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

That ST. Louis girl who says she never
wants more than 81 per week for clothes
ought not to lack for beaus with serious
intentions.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27
The Horrid Thing.

I know something ] aln't going 20 tell,
sang the girl
You must know something good about
somebody declared the mean man.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27
The knowing and the Unknowing.

FTUIn IuCk-
When it was. reported 20 the directors
that the cashier was looting the bank
they all resigned in a body"
Why do you suppose they did that?"
Il can't say. unless it was they had a
curiosity to know something about the
matter"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27
People WIN swallow II.

From the Louisville Courier-Jounal
"Wil the novelist ever write rich. but
honest? asks a contemporary. Very
likely. At any rate, it's good fiction.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

When automobiles become so common
that everybody can afford TO have one
what them" asks the Chicago American.
Why. then, the innocent bystander can
die like 4 gentleman and a scholar
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

From the birmingham Age-HeTald
Canary birds are now rated at s. an
ounce. says The Washington Herald rs
lucky that they are not on the bill OF
fare.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27
Something. Seems So.

A Senator's job is a good deal like a
janitors, I guess"
"Hows dat?"
Seems TO be de perquisites, RAIDER dan
de salary, wOt counts"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

Mr.. James J. Corbett, the party who
slugged his way 10 fame over the pros
trate frame Of the erstwhile mighty John
l., is 20 appear in a drama entitled
The Burglar and the Lady" The hero
is true gent, and the heroine a per
feet lady. sir-r-r-r"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

rSWcttenham is grateful TO the Ameri-
can people, says a cable And the
American people are no less grateful to
Swettenham. No people on earth enjoy a
hearty laugh more.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

From the Grand Rapids Herald
Prof. Starr, of the University of Chi
cago, says the dress suit is joke Per
haps he never had to pay for one.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27
FLEETING FANCIES.
From The Milwaukee Sentinel
Song of the Omen.

From tie Milwaukee Sentinel.
song of the Open.
Give me the sweep Of the rolling plain.
The misty haze on the worlds fair rim.
Give me the lash Of the beating rain
The night wind chanting a requiem.
Give me the winding, suake-like trail,
That leads TO the hills and the stately
pines,
The scent Of the sage, the pipe Of the
quail.
The mountains looming in aim outlines.
a rabbit leaping from yonder bushes:
A pause. a look OF mute surprise
Too late-a shot,-its life blood gushes-
A human look In its big round eyes.
Give noe the open range to ride.
And the cattle's wild and muffed notes.
a pair Of chaps and pony tried
AND TIE lusty yelis from cowboy threats,
All Doubt Removed.
DO you think Jones is a competent man
90 handle the stock in our new minee"
Competent You don't know Jones
Why, that man could sell mining stock 10
an experienced miner"
Could Draw.
Tie said he was au artist.
But ] never saw his work
/ knew. however. De could draw
/ saw him draw a cork
Reason for Praying.
Il am surprised az Tompkus. He tells
me he says his prayers every night"
Gle has reason TO-"
why sOe''
He sleeps in Avoiding bed
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

A rebellioUs brother Of the new shah
Of Persia is reported TO have attempted
suicide. but without success All ne has
TO do is to let his Teigning brother catch
him.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

The President wants a bigger navy.
Congress wants a bigger salary. Chancel-
Tor Day wants digger trusts, the Philip
pine troops want bigger pistols. Senator
elect Jef Davis wants bigger rows in
the Senate, Say, doesn't somebody want
a hitler something?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

George Bernard Shaw has finally dis
covered something to commend in Shake
speare. Trifing as.the discovery is. il
will. nevertheless. probably afford the
old fellow $ ghost a chance to secure ii
much-needed nights rest.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27
Subscription Rates BY Mail.

No attention viii be paid to anonymous
contributions, and no communications TO
the editor will be printed except over the
name of the writer.
Manuscripts offered for publication will
be returned If unavailable but stamps
should be sent with the manuscript for
that purpose.
All communica tiOns intended for this
newspaper, whether for the daily or the
sunday issue. should be addressed to
THE WASHINGTON HERALD.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

1T is a high Office" saws senator-eIect
EIsgeHheim, Oh, come. now, Senator. be
"a sport; don't kick on the price,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

Though humble he your earthly lot.
Unless you are a clam,
It's UP 10 you to take q swat
At Governor SWettenham.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

New York Office Nassau Beekman Bldg. LaCoste d
Maxwell. Managers
Chicago Ofce Marquette Bldg. LaCoste Il Max
vel, Managers
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

A South Carolina contemporary dis
covered that the legislature of that State
contains very few married men. The
Columbia state looked the legislature over
and announced that it didn't blame the
girls. That's what We call the limit Of
meannesS.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

Published Every Morning in the Year BY
THE WASHINGTON HERALD COMPANY.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

Nevertheless. there are a great many
more Teddy bulls IN this country than
there are Teddy bears
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27
Doing Their Part.

DO you think Mr. Carnegie would fur
nish our town with a free public IL
brary2'
What would your town furnish?'
The SobOes and tramps"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

Admiral Dikoff has been made naval
commandments by the Car. Just
break the news to mother.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27
Had "a Tooth.

Il hear that something interesting has
happened at your house Emerson
You are correctly informed, Mrs
Beaconstreet My iBfantile brother has
developed what appears 90 be a bicuspid.'
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

Two more women have appeared upon
the scene claiming the remains of Steele
the Philadelphia bomb thrower. As that
gentleman was reduced 10 exactly 3h.25
distinct and separate scraps. it does look
as though there ought to be remnants
enough 70 go round
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

Mr.. Money declares that he is the
poorest man in the Senate" Sort Of stage
MOney. as il were.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

The Birmingham News speaks of
peaches. both the animal and vegetable
varieties" In other words. "dears and
fruit"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

The House bill comprises the very least
that could be done I'm the least objection
able way from the point of view Of the
academic antisubsidisjs. to promote COM
meTce with South America and the
Orient. The substitute brought forward
i'm the House is an ocean mail and not a
general ship-subsidy bill. We shall he
very much surprised il the substitute bin
does not attract the support of men OF
both parties in Congress. 10 whom the
term ship subsidy has been Ike red rag
10 bull in every discussion of merchant
marine upbuilduE-
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

The Charleston News and Courier refers
to him as Senator Comeback, of Ten
nessee-' Everybody hopes he will. some
day
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

Probably the reason winter was so late
in its arrival is because it was advertised
TO arrive on schedule time.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27
All Douht Remored.
Could Draw.

He said he was au artist.
But ] never saw his work.
/ knew. however. De could draw
/ saw him draw cork.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27
A LAY SERMON.
ny A LAYMAN.

To bed. 10 bed, - says SLEEPY Head;
Let's stay q while. SAYS Slow
Put on the pot. says GTgedygut,
wen sup before we 60.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

That scientist may be right about the
earth drying up. but the Mississippi River
seems 70 have grave doubts about il.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

Edward VII is credited with bringing
about "a quiet and non-sensational sepa-
ration of the Marlborough" Undoubtedly
King Ned is one Of the greatest gum-shoe
artists of modern times.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27
TWO VIEWS OF SUBSIDY.
Is m Ocean Mail bill n Subsidy Meas
ure or NOtF

Ure or AOfS
From the Pittsbmg Post
II is true that there does not seem %
be much difference between presenting
many millions Of dollars 20 our iron and
steel and other manufacturers by the
imposition Of unduly high tariffs upon the
plea Of protecting our home Industries
and the giving of lesser amount TO our
ship builders and owners in the shape OF
subsidies Ia each case the money comes
out or the pockets OF the people OF this
country. However. there is no adequate
excuse for the present tariff policy, ana
the fact that il is In force is no reason
why the burdens which il imposes should
be increased by the adoption OF a ship
subsidy policy
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

King Peter, of Servia, wants 20 put his
second son upon the Servian throne.
Looks as though these kings all have IT
in for the second and third sons.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

Don't be content TO settle down; be
dangerous woman, was the advice given
20 a class Of college girls BY the president
Of the institution few days since. Does
the professor want them TO be summer
girls all the year round?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

a writer in the New York sun says that
craps Is really very ancient game Of
decidedly aristocratic lineage We have
no DOUBT OF IT, You cannot always judge
a gentleman by the clothes he wears
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

Modern woman is a walking bonfire. 80
says the Chicago Chronicle No; a walk
ing bOubOu.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

Hall Gaines son has gone on the stage
He can make quite d hit with his pa bv
numbering Shakespeare at his earliest
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

New York spends $59O6f per day for
stamps. The o6i Is spent at the post
Office. and the 50 at the drugstores.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

Building a railroad in Alaska is no
child's play" said Mr. Falcon Joslin, Of
Fairbanks. at the New Willard As l
have been up against it. for quite awhile,
I speak advisedly. am engaged in con-
structing a road from the head Of naviga-
ton on the Tanana, near Fairbanks, with
no particular objective point, but 10 be
pushed on indefinitely into one OF the
richest mineral fields in the world.
Building a line in the interior Of Alaska
is a serious proposition. and likewise
supevlauvely expensive The cost Of
transportation OF the steel rails is three
times the value of the rails themselves
We have 20 pay laborers $3.50 a day, and,
moreover, there are only about four
months in the year when work can go on.
Even with the big wages, It is hard 10 get
men enough to carry the project forward
As il is, we have about twenty-five miles
in operation, and shall probably double
that in the course Of a year"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

a writer declares that the real ruler of
China is the governor Of PechiH. What
has become Of old Miss?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

A war Of words between TiHman and
Carmack Is worth going miles 20 hear"
thinks the Atlanta Journal Hardly
since free passes have been abolished.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

This country isn't scared OF war We
not only have plenty Of auxiliary cruisers
10 sight but we also have auxiliary-hero
Hobson to call upon Ga ease of need.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

The second juror chosen in the Tbaw
case Is said not 20 believe in capital pun
lshInent. Therefore the end of the Thaw
case VIII not De quite as shocking as
some people had thought II might h..
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

What this country needs is an adjust
ment Of the differences existing al this
time between the anu-race suieiders and
the railroad block system signals.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

Gen. keifer says. We have grown
prodlgiously bigger and richer and more
obtrusive. According to the dictionary.
optTusiFe means 'meddlesome" Why.
that's what Swettenham was driving NJ
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

Uncle Sam IS once more up against that
tlHlling game, Engineer, Engineer.
Who's Got the Engineer"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27

PuheaGon Ofiee:
zs4 FIFTEENTH STREET NORTHWEST.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-27
SCOTT c. BONE, Editor.

Telephone Main $780, (Frivars Branch EIchangs)
Watson's weekly Jeffersonian., 1907-05-23
Quote the Poet Correctly, Brother TObin.

The Indiahoma Union-Signal is a most in
teresting and ably conducted paper, but its ed
itor like the rest of us, sometimes jumps at
conclusions too hurredly.
For instance, he writes an editorial para,
graph to this effect:
tom Watson says that labor is making
great mistake to put up such a determined
Watson's weekly Jeffersonian., 1907-05-23

The money should have been disposed of in
one of three ways: It should have returned
to the people, as the surplus was returned in
the days of President Andrew Jackson; or it
should have been loaned out at interest until
the bonds fell due; or it should have been used
to buy the controlling interest in trunk-line
railroads.
Congress could just as easily have author
lied either of these statesmanlike methods of
getting rid of the surplus as it did authorize
that gift OF $6o,ooooo to the bondholders.
But if the Democratic President, Cleveland,
was most unwise, unjust and undemocratic in
making donation of a huge Premium to the
favored few, when he took the Surplus into
the market and bought bonds that were not
due what shall we say of the Republican Pres
ident Roosevelt?
The disposition which is now being made Of
the Surplus is the most shameful misuse of
public money that has ever been known in
the history of our Government.
Year in and year out, the National Banks
keep and use an average of more than one
hundred and fifty million dollars of the peo-
pies money. For the use of this they pay no
interest at all. THE GOVERNMENT SIM
PLY TAXES THIS ENORMOUS SUR
PLUS OUT OF THE POCKETS OF THE
TAX-PAYING MASSES AND MAKES A
GAA VI IL ~ "A NOAN-A 11A-I LINZ
CLASS!
The national banks, practically, pay no ma
tional taxes whatever, yet the money of those
who do pay the taxes is taken out of the treas
ury to the extent of $I5o,ooo,ooo and given in
perpetual use, free of charge, to these pam
pered pets of the Government.
Can there be any law for taxing s. 100000
people for the benefit of 5000 national bank
ers?
The question answers itself. Yet that is
just what the Democrats, under Mr. Cleve-
land, did on a small scale and what the Repub-
liCans, under Mr.. Roosevelt, are doing on a
large one. Cleveland gave the pet banks, con-
stantly, some forty million dollars: Roosevelt
has simply increased the donation.
But the ugly feature of the Roosevelt sys-
tenn Of favoritism is this: Bonds are now fall
ing due, and we have the money to pay these
debts, but in spite of that fact he proposes to
renew the note (refund the bonds) and let the
debt run on at interest, instead of taking a por-
tion of that $I7I 100000 which the pet banks
are using and paying off the debt with it.
Thus the people will be burdened for an
other term of years with an interest-bearing
debt while Z few pet banks continue to use
without interest, a huge Surplus, one-third
of which would pay off the maturing notes.
II IS A SHAME!