The Washington herald., 1907-03-10
THE SOCIAL CODE I sEFHs


powers which grant alternate precedence the order
which Is to be Observed in the signatures shah be
determined By lot between the ministers.
Among The Arbiters mail comes the
following letter:
Your answer in last Sundays Issue to the question
regarding the precedence that should be given TO
the guest Of honor interested me very much.
/ want to say. however. that the standard you set
is not generally observed because vas present at
dinner only the other day where a young Ameri-
can woman who visiting at the house where
this dinner oCIrTed given the seat az the right
hand u her host. while the wife Of an Ambassador
vas seated upon his left II European standards
are required in Washington the wife Of the Ambas-
sador would have left N high dudgeon but she is
q very experienced and sensible woman and 50 she
said nothing. but must have smiled In her sleeve
81 the Ignorance Of those who were entertaining
her This for your information.
Thank you for bringing this to The
Arbiter's attention. Such evidences of ig-
norance are not infrequently met
!. Question Would you kindly inform me If it Is
proper foT me to lunch alone a. a hotel with a
man. even II he is my fances Thanking YOU in
adTaRcs for youT trUube, am, sincerely yours.
T. II. H.
Answer; No under no circumstances is
/ If proper for a young woman 10 lunch
alone with man at a hotel Certainly
not in so small a place as Washington.
where everybody knows everybody else.
1t is impossible TO make hard and fast
rule for such cases. Unconventional
things are often done with impunity and
with no bad results. Read Harold
Frcdericks March Hares" as an illus
tration Of this and YOU will see that
much depends upon the man and much
upon the woman, but, as a general rule.
II is extremely bad form % 20 alone
with man TO a public place Of enter
tainment.
Question: ViH sou kindly ten me II it is cor
rect for YOURS and woman 90 20 10 the theater
al night unchaUeroneds Thanking sou very much
l an, Tery t1ly yours. SARA FRANCES.
Answer. AS IN the above answer. /
would say that 1t depends very much upon
the young man and the young woman.
II is certainly unknown in the ,smartest
circles for girl under twenty-five to 20
alone 10 the theater with "A young man.
a young woman at that time Of her life is
supposed 10 have reached the age OF dis
erection.
3 Question. Tou have done 70 much FOR the
cause Of courtesy in the Illuminating articles yoa
have written that I am going TO ask II you cannot
further instruct the people Of Washington in the
ways o. ciyihu. Having two distinguished English
ladies guests who brought me letters q intro
duction from titled pcrs0uaEes on the other side
invited a number q ladies 20 lunch with them.
Ihey were, perhaps, none II them in what might
b. called the smart SET but women q position
and wealth. supposed % know the rules Of society
and the luncheon really went Of with ecat: but
fancy nay Chasrn and ast0uishmeut when none Of the
ladies I'D ] had invited called upon ms guests or
recognized the hospitality offered them in any wav
II my guests had been Americans. IL would have
been a different matter, but / felt ANNOYED. be
cause English people = certain class never lose an
opportunity 20 az the lack Of social snogedee
OF AlLeIlcals INDIGNANT.
Answer; In regard to this I should say
you used lack of discrimination in choos-
ing your guests There is hardly a village
in the United States where the women
who form society have not superior
knowledge and kinder hearts than your
friends seem 10 possess, and who would
fail TO recognize such an obligation. A
dinner. luncheon, or breakfast call should
be returned within three days, according
20 rigid etiquette. and a week is the very
limit in which such calls can be made.
l. Question; Madam I dislike to confess nv
ignorance. but have recently received card from
one Of my old school friends attached 70 which is
small card bearing curious name with the
legend Nine pounds underneath Exactly what
does this meant
Answer: It means simply that your old
friend has given birth to a little son or
daughter, and that the chud's weight IS
nine pounds. 1t is usual when a baby is
born in the family to send out the card
Of the mother with the tiny card of the
baby attached.
5. Question: Mr.. Arbiter: Is it proper for a
man always 10 stand when a lady enters the room
CT when she rises 10 leave it, I know il IA not
good form tor women Of mature age to rise AND
greet men 10 say sdieu 70 them. but in the
case of young SRI and distinguished man. what
should be the customg
Answer: A man should invariably re-
main standing when women are standing
in the same room, and should never sit
down until the ladies are seated. In the
case Of a young girl and a distinguished
man. a statesman, a savant-any man of
great reputation or venerable aEe-a
young woman should rise TO greet him.
It would seem that the heart as well as
custom should dictate this
s. Question: I have been interested in Your notes
regarding the service q dinners and luucheous
VIII You cell me if it is correct form 10 serve
formal meals on oolOred table cl0thsY A friend Of
mine tells me that not long ago she went IN the
house Of a muiti-niilionaire here where the table
was covered with mauye velvet spread over which
was a centerpiece and dOilies Of point lace. The
candle shades were mauve orchids the bonhons
preserved fruits and other desserts were all rolored
maure. Sprnkled about violet powder the
strong scent of the whole combination making her
50 ID that she forced 70 plead illness and be
excused
Answer. Nothing could be in worse taste.
Simplicity and elegance should character
ize a dinner table. The finest napery a per-
son can afford should be used. There
should be, of course, eandelabra. which
cannot be too elegant nor too simple. and
all the other appointments should be
simple. yet as elegant as one can afford.
A dinner table must never be a freak
show, but an atmosphere of quiet. ele-
ganee, and dignity should prevail. Strings
Of ribbons, coppling vases, and festoons,
wreaths, and all such spectacular dis
plays, are not to be discountenanced.
z Question: Can you tell me If it is customary
in America to drink healthsi I 80 out but little
and have never seen II done 10 any extent event