The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-06
ARIZONA KICKLETS.
All Kinds of Things Happen to West
ern Editors.

Any one wanting mountain 1850
fcet high to sit on during the heated
season will please address this office.
We have one for sale cheap. We got
1t by advertising a fortyro whisky
before the pure food law came into
operation.
A Chicago paper charges us with be-
ing at the head of the grafters in this
hasn't been enough graft in Arizona
in the last five years to buy food for
an old crow. We are all honest be-
Cause we have to be. I---.-s
tur esteemed contemporary insists
that he fired six shots at lis as we were
Tuesday night, and that if wc had
given him six more chances he could
have dropped US. Sorry for him. We
neither saw nor heard of him. Poor
old chap, but is it ever to BIO thusi
Not as Editor, Postmaster, Deputy
U. s. Marshal or Mayor of the Gulch,
but as plain Jim Hellso, we rode our
horse in a race over at Lone Pine the
other day and sccoped in a hundred
dollars in cash to buy silk uRdershirts
for such members of congress as are
not owned by any trust and must prac-
tice economy.
Some critter who didn't have time
to sign his name writes us from Santa
Fe that he will arrive in this town in
about two weeks and shoot six red-hot
bullets into our despicable carcass.
Good! Things are going a little slow
and we'd like a change. Kick open
the door OF our sanctunl and come
right in.
party named Bull" williams, who
was hanging around the Gulch three
or four months ago, and who refused
to let the Vigilance Committee hang
him gently by the neck, went off to
Utah and was lynched the. other day
by an excited mob. How few men
know what's gOOG for 'eInl
Several letters have reached Us ask
ing us to define our position, editorial
ly, as to the next presidential candi-
date. Not by a jug-full! We are hold
ing three government positions. and
we don't propose to lose them by COM
ing out now. and yawping for some
particular man who may not come
within gunshot of securing the nomf-
nation. We wish the country WELL but
we wish ourself better. rs
The air of Arizona is bracing, and
tile territory is full of grand scenery,
but If we were a stranger to the peo-
ple we should neither take the air nor
view the scenery from an auto. Our
people as q people can't get used to
going on four wheels It's
a four-leggcd country. Come on a
cayuse and you Will find a hospitable
welcome.
At the last meeting of the Common
City Marshal Day offered his
re signation, and the same was accept
ed. He had served four months, and |
during that time was wounded five |
times. He thinks he got too many |
bullets for the salary received Any |
go.td twh-handed shooter who wants a |
steady income of $12 per week will adj |
iress. or apply to us as mayor. In
Ease OF death he will be buried at the /
expense Of the city.
A year ago cx-Judge Scott entered I
The Kicker offic.s bent on our destruc-
ion. After he had fired five shots al
is we shot his left ear off and drove |
him out. The ear has been In a Jar
If alcohol ever since, and the other |
lay the judge began suit against US
20 recover the souvenir. He wants to
stitch it on and see If it won't grow.
70 the straight shooter belongs the /
;roils, and we'll fight the thing clear
o the highest court.
We were coming back from lionel
TACK the other day in something of a I
hurry. being mounted on our pienald I
1ronck, when, at the crossing of Dog
Creek, a road agent tried to- hold us
Up. We told him We see him later
Ind galloped on, and he put two bull
cts through our nat and TUNED away.
t may console him to learn that the
mount of our cash on hand at that
ime was Just fifteen cents.
Since we have ceased lying about
'ur circulation ,ur health and spirits
rave improved so per cent, and all
ave noticed great and agreeable
'hange in US. We haven't an ache or
ain, and so around with a grin on our
ohiz and a song in our heart. It was
IN awful burden on our back to keep
rom lying from week to week, claim