Alaska sentinel., 1907-01-03
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| Eben, but don let dat stop you fun havin' 'em put under bonds to keep de peace. ."-Washlngton Star.
 You entertain a great deal more than you did formerly, notice." "Yes, | indeed. This Is the first really hospita. ble cook we ever had."-Life.
 "It takes him a painfully long time to write letter." "Yes, he's trying to use as many simplfied words as possi. ble. ."-Cleveland Plain Dealer. There's a colored man and his wife at the door looking for work" But only advertised for laundress." "Yes, they are her. er."-Philadelphia Press.
 Mrs. Style-Mrs. Cashe has a great deal of embonpoint. Mrs. Paryenu- Then If she has a good deal of It, know she got 1t cheap.-Baltimor American.
 Wigg-A bad memory gets a fellow Into lots of trouble. Wagg-Yes, its always springlng things on you that you thought you had forgotten. - Philadelphia Record.
 | Perhaps" said the clerk, you'd like to look at goods little more expensive than these" Not necessarily" replied the shopper, but I would like to look at some of better uality."-Philadel- phla Press.
 l "very well, slr," cried Dr. Kwack, after his quarrel with the undertaken, "I'll make you sorry for this.' What are you going to do:' sneered the un. dertaker. Retire from practice."- Philadelphia Press.
 l Jack-I knew a man who stole a kiss from pretty girl. He paid the penalty for larceny. Katharlne-Ah, indeed! And what was the penalty :? Jack-Hard labor for life. He married the girl.-Phlladelphia Bulletin.
 What Is reform?" asked the argu. mentative man. Reform" answered the world-weary one, usually consists In merely compelling a man to stop doing things his way and making him do them yours. rs."-Washngton Star.
 "Yes. sir; I'm the publisher Of this paper. Is there anything can do for you?" "I am looking for job as proofreader." We don't need proof readers any more. We have adopted the reformed spelllng."-Chlcago Trib- une.
 "The road to knowledge, nowadays" said the first old schoolmaster. "is too swift and too easy. It's a regular rail- road" Yes" agreed the other old pedagogue, "and It's a railroad with fewer switches than are necessary Philadelphia Public Ledger.
 q suppose you want me to look as pleasant as possible" said the custom CT. Certainly, sir,' replied the pho. tographer. And III have to ask you for a small deposit In advance" Whats that for:" That's so I can look pleasant, too. o.'-Alilwaukee Sem | tinel.
 l McCall-What sort of hybrid crea- I ture Is that new butler of yours! Nu. ritch-Why, how do you mean? Me Call called to see you the other day, and when I asked him what time I might catch you at home he said: At haff pawst tin, sah'"-Philadeiphl Press.
 | q wonder now" unused the dog, what fool thing it Is that my master wants me to do with that hoop he Is holding out before me. Maybe he wants me to jump through It. I'll do 1t, and see. How little 1t takes to make man happy .'-Chlcago Tribune.
 | The minister was shocked when the young lady declined an introduction to some of his parishloners. Why, my dear young lady, did you ever think that perhaps you will have to mngle with these good people when you get to heaven? Well" she exclaimed, that will be soon enough."-Life.
 "Habillments for Infants" Is a sign In a clothing store in Boston. A West ern visitor, seeing It, stopped In amaze ment. What does that mean?" he asked his better acquainted fellow Westerper. That" said the other. l"Oh, that Is Boston dialect for kids duds."-Youths Companion.
 "I'm glad to say," remarked Mrs. Strongminde in an insinuating tone. that my husband Is not a sporty man." I"Oh," replied Mrs. Kahyppe, looking very sweet and innocent, "I'm sur lprlsed to hear you say that. have al. ways supposed that he must have mar ried you on a bet."-ChIcago Record. I Where Black Means White.