davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Los Angeles herald., 1907-04-21
THE WAY HE SHOULD GO.

was up In Northern Wisconsin looking
after lumber interest and had to solicit
lodging with settler. He hadn't much
room to spare and not much to eat, and
when through with supper we lighted our
pipes and had a smoke and a talk. He
had only one child and he was boy of
10. He sat in the chimney corner for an
hour and never said word, and finally
the father remarked:
"Well, Jim, it's time you had your les
son and went to bed. Come up here"
The boy advanced and stood before
him and the father opened on him as II
terribly indignant. He called him
loafer, liar, robber, a swindler and
40 other things. He threatened to knock
his teeth QUITO bat his eyes, to knock
his eyebrows off, and finally to break
every bone in his body. To my surprise
the boy stood and took 1t as If he had
heard the same things every day for
month, and when the father had ended
he began. He went over the same ground
repeating almost every word and shaking
his fist and throwing his arms about,
and finally finished and said goodnight
and went to bed.
MAY I inquire what sort of per-
formance have just witpessed2" asked
of the settler.
Certainly, stranger" he replied There's
a million acres of government land around
me here. In the last 10 years 1 have
stolen and marketed ten thousand dol
lars worth of 1t. Now and then a gov
ernment inspector has come along and
tried to stop me, but I've run him off
talking to him as 1 just talked to Jim.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-04-21
THE WARY BANKS.

When Banks dropped into New York
brokers' office to talk about Texas oil
stocks he didn't mean to believe a word
the broker said. They talked for an hour,
and still he didn't believe.
Then Banks silently folded his tent and
hled him for Texas. He wanted to see
the oil wells. He wanted to feel of the
oil. He wanted to know that 1t wasn't
water or cough syrup. He wanted to be
sure that It would leave grease spot II
dropped upon his coat tails.
An oil-well man dropped in TO see
Banks.
He took him out and showed him i've
acre claim
He showed him an oil well.
He showed him derrick and pump.
The pump was pumping oil.
The oil was being barreled and shipped.
They couldn't fool Mr. Banks. He was
right there on the spot. He was seeing
with his own eyes. He wasn't asleep
and dreaming. He was offered ten thou
sand of the preferred stock at 10 cents
on the dollar to help develop more wells.
Non-assessable and bound to 80 to 100
In three months.
Delays are dangerous. Invest now
today.
Twice as good as copper and four times
as good as a silver mine
Greatest Investment IN the world for
elersymen, widows and orphans
Mr.. Banks took the stock and the Oil
well man the money.
Mr' Banks Is now looking for the OIL
Los Angeles herald., 1907-04-21
"A GENTLEMAN'S COUNTRY SEAT. y

Had to put In anew furnace.
"'WGter tank busted.
Z" Water pipes busted.
'December-No rabbits.
Three leaks in the roof.
Plaster falling down.
Hens froze to death.
Water tank busted again.
Three feet of snow to be shoveled.
'January-More snow.
More busted water pipes.
Furnace gives out.
More cusswords from me.
"'More tears from my wife.
'February-Shove 1000 carloads
of snow.
Furnace kicking up.
Horses frostbitten In the barn.
Wife and l haven't spoken for a
month.
March-Everything busting and kick
" Getting ready to look for suckers.
Saw n robin. Durn his hide
''Sell to the first conner Sell cheap.
Sell at any price. Lie like thunder. Get
out of the thing even If you have to go
JOE KERR.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-04-21
HIS INHERENT PRIDE.

''Think Of it-just think of itr' said
the Baltimore drummer to a group In the
lobby Of the hotel 1.-The shares In the
Red Dog silver mine are quoted today at
520l'
How many million shares you got,
TomT' was asked.
That's what ails me. That's what
causes my heart to beat so tumultuously.
Not one blessed share have / got In the
safe deposit company. Why, when
think of it l could go out and hang
myself
well, what's the yarnf'
Fifteen years ago was in Nevada on
some business" said the man Of the road.
"and they were just organizing the Red
Dog Company. The shares went begging
at 10 cents on the dollar. One day, in
crossing a creek, happened along Just
in time to rescue traveller from drown
ing. When l had got him ashore and
wrung him out and restored him to con-
sciousness, / found him very grateful.
He had no ready cash, but wishing to
show his gratitude he tried to force two
million shares of Red Dog on me. Think
Of lt-tried to force them on me?'
"And why didn't you take themT' was
asked.
ut was my devilish pride, gentlemen
my inherent pride. l couldn't bring my
self to take a reward for saving human
life. l remember that l was somewhat
indignant at the stranger offering them
to me, though his Intentions were honor
able. Yes, two million shares, and they
ara now uuOted at h00p'
Suppose 1t was to do over againr'
"If it was to do over again-if l should
find a man drowning in creek today,
Los Angeles herald., 1907-04-21
The Jones Family.

''I was selling Belgian seed oats among
the farmers In a certain district In In
dlana,' said the man with two big watch
chains, when a man who was driving
In the opposite direction on the highway
ran his wagon into my buggy and took n
wheel of 1t was clearly his fault and
as he was mighty impudent about It and
refused to pay damages 1 proceeded to
the nearest village to begin lawsuit.
When l went to the Judge for summons
that worthy scratched his head and
querled
Bill Jones, did your"
'Yes, that's it,
81 know him and he ought to have
settled damages, but If ! were you I'd
let It 60"
But why1 It's a plain case"
Yes, but II l issue a summons 1t will
be put into the hands Of Constable Jones
to serve. He's a relative of BilPs, and
may fool around week or so before
serving it."
"Yes"
''He finally serves the summons and
Bill comes to town and gets Lawyer
Jones, who is also a relative. The case
Is adjourned for a week. That's two
weeks you are kept hanging around here
81 see."
when the case finally comes up Bill
has two Joneses to swear that you ran
into his wagon. Those Joneses will swear
to anything"
But he ran into me-" protested.
Don't doubt it, but you have no wit
nesses, you see. Bill swears, his wit
nesses swear and the lawyer CABS, and
then the justice decides in favor of Bill
and saddles the costs on to you"
But won't the case come before your
"Oh, yes"
"And won't you give me justiceT'
81 couldn't. 1 am a Jones, you see, and
I can't go back on Bill!'
"It is needless to say" observed the oat
man, as he toyed with his two watch
chains at once, that didn't bring suit.
drove out of the Jones settlement into
that Of the Browns"
JOE KERR
Los Angeles herald., 1907-04-21

Anything wrong with the placer was
asked.
Just a thing or two. | bought last
fall. wanted to get out of the city,
/ wanted to hunt rabbits and sit before
hickory fires. Here are a few extracts
from my diary:
'October-When I bought l was as
sured of an abundance Of fruit on the
place. Said abundance turned out to be
a peck Of measly apples.
" 1T cost me $3.50 extra ton to get
my coal in.
'' Had to rebuild three chimneys.
" Had to put new roof on the henhouse
'November-No hlckery to build hlck-
Ory fires
Los Angeles herald., 1907-04-21

"Looks pretty good, doesn't It," said
the commuter as he passed the paper he
had been reading to the man in the seat
beside him and called his attention to
an advertisement of a gentleman's coun-
try seat for sale ut half price"
'Yes, It looks like great bargain, +"
was the reply,
ITS my own advertisement, and hope
1t will bring me sucker soon. Yes,
am the man who Is willing to sacrifice
In order to close out an estate"
Los Angeles herald., 1907-04-21

Jim is growing up and will be big enough
to steal timber In a couple of years more
1 want him to learn how to talk, so Nas
to hold his own. Lord, but you didn't
think / was going to make preacher Of
him, did you? Not any, sir. Timber
stealin' beats 40 preachers all holler, but
you've got to be provided with heap Of
cusswords and bluff tosmake a go of It,"
JOE KERR.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-04-21

well man, who took him out to see some
one else's oil well, and the oil-well man IL
now looking over the historic spots OF
Europe for the benedt OF his health
oils well that ends well. but why not
have been swlndled BY the New York
broker In the hrst placer
JOE KERR.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-04-21

under the changed condition of things,
would not let my inherent pride prevent
me from taking his inherent Red Dog
bonds. In fact. I'd hold his inherent head
under water until he had gasped his last
and then inherently walk off with the
Doodle and become a coal baron or
United States senator. Gentlemen, some
of you please be inherent enough to kick
me for not knowing a good thing when
l saw it" JOE KERR
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-05-19

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Classify the
negro's. Mento-Objective: notify psy-
chical research.
Memo-Coincidenc The probably
vainglorious) lie Of the former servant,
that there was $1,000 in the box leads to
destruction of the will. whereby the
strongest Prescriptions Of guilt are di-
rected toward the innocent; circum-
stantial evidence; classify.
The weekly true Democrat., 1907-11-29

All Florida will bc grieved Mt the news
of the death OF Mrs Sheldon S Strnger
of Brooksville, President of the Florida
Division, United Daughters Of the Con-
federacy, Of pneumonia, at Columbia,
s. c., Monday evening She was re-
turning home from attending Il convcn-
tion meeting at Norfolk, where, by
her dignity, culture and Rentloness, she
took a position second TO none" and
was expected to be among friends at
ment OF her death reached there. Thus
has another of Floridas good women
been called 10 rest, and Fl0ridians gem
orally sympatbizc deeply with the be.
reayed family.
The weekly true Democrat., 1907-11-29

You can't be well II you have weak
unhealthy, tired out stomach. Neither
can you feel good II by some little ir-
regularity In eating you have cauaed
the stomach TO get out of order. These
little stomach troubles are signs Of i'm
digestion, which may, and very often
does turn into very bad case Of dys-
pepsia. Don't allow this TO 20 on
single day without doing something TO
overcome Il, Take some good reliable
and safe digestant like kODOL for
Dyspepsia. KODOL is the best remedy
known today for heart burn. belching
and all troubles arising from a disor-
dered digestion. II is pleasant to take
and offords relief promptly. Sold by
ell druggists.
The weekly true Democrat., 1907-11-29
P. T. NICHOLSON.
THE JEWELER
Silver Goods

In all the latest creation
of the silver smiths art,
embracing Comb Brush and
Mirror Sets, Military Sets,
Silver Novelties, Etc.
The weekly true Democrat., 1907-11-29
Hon. JsHsrsOn 3. Browne on
WILL NOT ATTEMPT TO DICTATE TO, oI

WILL NOT ATTEMPT TO DICTATE TO, OR
CONTROL THE LEGISLATURE.
II will be my duty and pleasure TO re-
commend TO the legislature certain meas
ures, some Of the more important Of
which ] will make clear 20 you to-day,
but l assure you that | will not attempt
70 dictate 10 the Legislature what IL
should or should not do, nor will per-
sOnally solicit the vote Of any member
of the Legislature for or against any
measures pending beforeit | shall make
my recommendations, and give my rea-
sons therefor, 10 the Legislature, as the
Constitution requires, but | will not use
methods which would be condemned, IL
practced by private citizen
The Constitution further says 1.-THE
Governor shall take care the laws be
faithfully executed - Art 4, Sec. w..
His duties are with the Execution,
and not with the enactment, of laws.
shall take special charge of the faithful
execution OF all laws on the statute
books. What the people should demand
Ia, the due execution Of the laws that
are enacted by the Legislature, without
regard TO whom they hurt or whom they
benefit, whether IL be corporation or
an Individual. II you 20 outside the law
TO hurt corporation, you can 20 outside
the law TO help friend, or hurt an en-
emy. When a cloud Is Burcharged with
electricity, the bolt falls in obedience TO
a natural law, and whether II strikes n
good man or a bad one, or destroys a
brothel or a church, Ia a mere incident
In the execution Of Gods laws, and
pledge you that will sec TO the faith
ful execution of all laws, regardless Of
whether they strike friend or foe, for,
In tho performance of my duties, my
my spear will know no brsther.
The weekly true Democrat., 1907-11-29
Glass

Water Sets, Berry Dish
es, Spoon Holders, Celery
Dishes, Vases, Puff Boxes,
and other ornamental and
useful articles.
The weekly true Democrat., 1907-11-29
Silk
Umbrellas.

The very best heavy
Silk Covers, with Gold and
Pearl and Silver and Pearl
Handles in artistic designes.
The weekly true Democrat., 1907-11-29
Watches
Own a
ChafingDish.

They admit of much
hospitality. They are mi
ghty handy, and they're not
so expensive if you buy
here.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1907-09-22

90 EafNNNT UHF f.ET AWFrT
TRENCH WFNE AND TuMIr wv
FfLFFL Nj TX a Cu III 1T
TTfEBLTuTE
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1907-09-22

10 roe EHrE ~ gxtLE 49, an
HINu Or HnEu 20 EFr WHHT 81
~ EAMrW Ga - aFrW GHr
- WErTE g. - law NFaEHu a.
NAnHHna g. EAru q -
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1907-09-22
HaafNl
WANTED.

lO s.gly y11r demand -
Fs ard s Si-
d. ag6rg r
ae b.
ard prCf ID y1Jt9
He h7ss
sotu Of % 0
date ae ssH
OF C& are as C
IS 70 rake
ard as g1afar Hey PAIR
u
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1907-09-22

~ Ef 49, Esnw . - 49,
40 &arm 49, n
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-01-14
Remo.ed From Polltic.

The regular establishment seems to be of the opinionthat officers of the mil litia are selected solely upon political considerations and in case of war. to meet that objection, it is stated that the War Department will send to Congress in a few days a most impor- tant proposed bill providing for the organization, in time of wal, of Uni ted States volunteer regiments.
 The bill meets with the approval of the Secretary of War, and has receiv- ed the most careful consideration of the general stan of the army. Its details are rot yet known, but in gen eral way 1t will provide for the organ izations Of volunteer regiments in time of war a.m:lar to those organized in 1899 for service in the Philippines. which. it will be recalled, were offi- cered by officers of the regular army. The measure will be a most compre- hensive one and Is intended to eradi- cate the evil of having State volun- teer regiments organized and officered by incompetent persons appointed be- cause of any particular ability they have ever shown for military duty As this bill will hit at the principle of allowing the States to select their own officers of volunteer regiments not militia regiments-it is naturally expected at the War Department that 1t will receive much opposition, but 1t will nevertheless be pushed by the administration.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-01-14
one Regiment at a TIme :.

Assistant Secretary of War Oliver purposes to limit tbe participation in army camps to one regiment in each State. as he told the Military Commit toe of the House. An organization or two of Regulars, Cavqlty or Infantry, should go with the militia in the State camps as a sort St lnodei- A scheme is being worked up to interest the mil l:tia in taking part in the Coast Ar tillery Work and maneuvers. Secre- tGry Oliver said:
 The increased cost for Regulars is no: very great. They generally reach tneir camps marching. that being a part of their edLc aticn IL is perfectly useless to make the militia do that The bulk of the cost fer the militia Is transportation"
 General Oliver asked for an appro- priation to enable him to furnish the organized militia with the small arm used by the Regulars He said
 T have petitions from nearly all the States about that. The presentation at the annual national trophy match has increa ted from three States to thirty-six States. showing the growth of interest in rife practice. They all should have the same arms and have the same chance"
 The Secretary expressed poor opinion of retired officers as militia inspectors. Many States have refused to have them. They want young lieu tetnants, twenty-five or thirty years of age. They do not want high-rank- ing men, but active young men It is detailed a. Vest Point be 'educed to ffty-elght. Tine officers detailed num- b'r 500, and ms re officers are needed for the array.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-01-14
Cost of Ammunition 1.

General Crozier stated in his hears ing before the House Committee on
 Appropriations that the Ordnance
 Department last year. manufactured
 40.000.000 rounds of ammunition, the
 capacity of the Frankfort Arsenal be- ing 75,000, 000.s They purchased 9,0O0.-
 900 rounds fn addition to this from private manufacturers at a cost of twenty-five per cent. in excess of the cost at the government arser5l. This
 was to assist in keeping alive private plants to be called upon in war. No commercial arms ow in the market
 use the new ammunition. Reserve ammunition, is being manufactured, provided at the rate of 10.000.000 cumulation of 300 rounds per gun for 600.o00 guns. or 1s0,000.000 rounds in all.
 There are 100000 Krag- -Jorgensen guns, 100000 of them in the hands of the militia. It is proposed to accu- mulate one hundred rounds per gun for these. or 40.000.O00 rounds in all The bullet is bejrg changed from 220 grains to 150 grains and heightened by three-tea.ns of an inch and made more pointed. This reduces the weight and increases the velocity from 400 to 500 feet. It is intended to purchase for prizes in rifle practice 200 maga- zine rifles. with telescopic sights, cost ing $75 each. There are 800 22-caliber guns for gallery practice and 500 more are being manufactured. We have a36 field guns, or two per 1000 for 16S,000 men. The new gun fires so much more rapidly that the old pro- yortion Is not needed. Germany has 5.76 per 1000 of infantry. France 3.3, Russia 3.65, Austria 3.43, Italy 3.5.
 The chairman suggested that we ought
 to have more guns
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-01-14
WELCOME FARMERS
IS READY FOR cor
 TON GROWERS.
Southern Legfslatures Are Urged to Send Representatives to Hear Speech of Governor Hayward
 of South Carolina.

Birmingham Jan. Especial. J. Birmingham Is ready for the third an- nual convention of the Southern Cot ton Growers Association which will be held this week. Advices which come in through the railroad offices are to the effect that the attendance will be very large.
 The local committees have been working hard for several weeks on the preparations and are satisfied that ev- cry delegate is going to receive a hearty welcome. It is believed that the invitation sent by telegraph to such Southern Legislatures as were in ses- sion to come to Birmin gham in body or send representatives on the 18th inst to hear the address of Hon. D. c. Heyward, Governor of South Carolina, who will speak on immigration" will be accepted by two or three and that q large number of prominent politi- clans from Southern States will be here. The Executive Committee of the Southern Cotton Growers Associa- tion will gather in Birmingham on Tuesday.
 It is believed that 1t will take this body two days in which to complete It's business The convention proper be- gins Thursday and will continue through Saturday. The sessions will be held In the Hlppodrome skating au- ditorium. which Is not only centrally located but will accommodate between e.OOO and 7.5Oc people. Every hotel In the city has pledged itself not to make any increase in charges during the con- vention. The cafes and restaurants have promised to keep the same prices in vogue during this week as prevail all the time.
 The delegates need have no fears that there will be any gouging. All most all of the men who are on the nrogram have promised to be present at the convention and be ready to pre- sent their papers and addresses. Re- norte have been received from several nf the state headquarters in regards to the appointment of delegates and the inrormation is that the greater number of the delegates are coming to Bir- mingham.
 If Is stated upon good authority that inc question of future specuiating on cotton will he one of the principal top jcs before the convention In this re- gard 1t Is believed that the fight being made by President Harvie Jordan on inc New York Exchange will receive considerable airing at this time. Mir. Jordan will seek reelection to the presidency in order that he might con- tinue his fight, which has already at tracted much attention throughout the country It is expected that MT Jor- dan will make a most comprehensive rAnnrt when he submits his annual ad-
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-01-14
HOW THEY SQUIRMEO
Great Times When Children Had to Take OId-FashIOned Cod Liver
 oil and Eu,uIafou.

You had to bribe them, hold their noses, in fact go through a regular circus to get them to take it.
 That was years ago. before the two eminent French chemists, Morgues and Gautier. discovered how to separate the medicinal elements of the cod's liver from the useless. nauseating oil. and produced Vinol
 VinOl is not a patent medicine but a real cod liver preparation containing in a highly concentrated form all of the body building. strength creating ele- ments of cod liver oil actually taken from fresh cod's flyers, with all the useless oil eliminated and tonic iron added It tastes fine and children love it. Wherever old-fashioned cod liyer oil or emulsions will do good, Vino1 will do far more good.
 Our local druggists. E. G. Fowler. says; Tt is because we know SO well of what Vinol Is made that we ask every mother who has weak. delicate or ailing child and in fact every run down debilitated. aged or weak person in Montgomery, and every person suf- ferine from stubborn colds. hanging on coughs or bronchitis to try Vinol on omr offer to return their money if it fails" B. G. Fowler, Druggist.
 Note-While we are sole agents for Vinol in Montgomery, 1t Is now for sale at the leading drug store in nearly every town and city in the country Look for the Vtnol agency in your
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-01-14
Inaugural Matinee at BijOu Today and Tonight Gay New York.
NEWS OF HUNTSVILLE.
Changes Made in the Local Post
 office.

Huntsville, Jan. 13.-(Special )- Will McLain, carrier of rural route No 8, has been appointed night clerk In the Huntsville postofflce. succeeding FeIix Robertson. who has become as- sl5tant postmaster at New Decatur.
 Louis Bowers, clerk in mercantile house, died Saturday after an Illness of several weeks at the city hospital l. inent citizen of Morgan county, and was 22 years old. The body was taken to Valhcrmosa Springs for in terment. s ,,.
 Jim Burke, a young man or oallas ,,iIIoge has been arrested and lodged in iail on 8 charge of attempting to ,,,uyder- his wife. He is believed to he demepted as the result of injuries received in saw mill accident and uviii he sent to the asylum in Tusca- ,oose Neiehhors rushed into his home and prevented him from killing his wife.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-01-14
FIRE AT ENTERPRISE
Two Stores Were Burned Ands
 Contents Destroyed.

Enterprise, Jan. 13.-( Special Hast night at l2 o'clock fire was discovered in the store occupied by J. E. Smith
 The fire company promptly responded and fought hsroically until 8 o'clock this morning. but were unable to save Mir. Smiths goods or those of Dr. ciem7 ents, who occupied the adjoining store. The two houses were made of iron and for a time baffled the attempts of the flremen to get at the fire. The build ings were completely demolished and most of the contents destroyed{
 Dr. c. D. Clements had stock dry goods notions, shoes, booh and carried $3,000 worth of inst J. Ed Smith had stock of dry clothing, shoes and notions ar ried $4. 500 insurance. The store were owned by R. A. Clements. surance was carried on them.