The evening world., 1907-06-24
Mark 7qvain Unloads
Crop of Lemon Jokes
Oh Easy Mark King Ed
His Majesty Has to Endure the Agony OF
the Take Two Chairs" Gag and the
Rest of the Gamut to the Tale
of the Wrong Font Pants.

You heard ahat Mark Twain met kins
Edward In London NOT Nesl wen
Il is this way.
Whenever KING Edward meets an
American-especiAJiy when he meets an
American humorst-he wants TO near
story. a funny story. Some there DC
on this side of the water Nho ahese
that King Edward wouidnt know
funny story II II walked up TO him
and pulled his w,ItsAcrs. but OF hHch
n the Clhn-na-Gael.
OF course the King wanted to hear
Mark Twain say s0snrthins lauSbaele.
Mark NJ one OF the Kings superior
cigars and sprung this:
The Tale Of the Two Chairs
! Joseph II. choase was seated IN
b hi. law o1nce one day. when n
/ young man entered and In rather
! T. poTnpous manner announced;
/ z ~ am John Jonesr
n "'Ahr Eald the lawyer. take
I chair
Yea continued the young man.
| 7 am the son-ln-lav OF Gen smith
a Indeed replied MIR. ChoAie,
bowinE low. Take two chairsr
His Ishness was pop-eyed 6ut game.
He was just about TO inquire II Mr.
choate's caller Was slafneso TWIN or
something on that order. doTt you
saow, when our beloved humorist cut
loose with the following;
a The Water Route 10 Heaven.
"a negro exho-tsr at a great re-
vival In the South shouted:
Come up. and jine de army ob
- Lordi'
4" 1se done jined.' replied one OF
ehs congregation.
Wizard you liner asked the
preacher
= " 'BRpttx' church
"'wy, chiIa. replied the sxhortps,
.yoh amt In de a-Sny-yohh In de
n1vyi''
This one sent the King 10 the roper,
but he returned as Eamely as an old
man colilo. Just aE he had framed q
question relative TO the connection be-
tween a baptism and a batiie-Ship. the
merciIrst humorist handed out one
that had never failed:
/ And This Old Timer, Too.
-Abe Write. a Virginia darby.
was arrested on suspicion of having
stolen chickens. When ne was
bfonsat before the Squire the next
moratng he was asked;
ABE. are you the defendant in
this cases
4! mo. sah. Yo' Honor replied
ABE. " T'ss de man what stoisd de
ehickena-'
fhe King started toward . push but
ton In the wall to summon the captain
OF the guards. Twain headed him on.
His MAjesty's rubicund oountenAnos
was wrinkled into llnes OF perpissity.
Braeins himself with a palpsbls effort
be prepared for the next.
Wlse Little Johnny Jones.
= - school tsAohsr was lecturinE
o. natural history and told how the
English spArrows had been imported
20 Kin the worms on tho tTees In the
parks
4" The sparrows.' she sAid. have
become almost a. numerous As the
worms were.
Noticing that Johnny Jones was
tnattentive she suddenly asked
NOW. Johnny. which do you think
are the worst-the worms or the
1 spArrowsT
+ "Don'i know answered Johnny.
I never had the sparrowA
Al the mention OF English sparrows
King Edward prseeptibly Frightened.
He Imagined he was Eoing TO hear
something thA; would allow HIN. 20
I twit Mark Twain with being a nature
faksT. AZ the story proceeded tsGru
filled the royal eyes ana AZ the wind up
be was weeping
was there not something Of that
kind in . sonS In the Aikado''' hs IN
auiT-d.
hurried ham along to the nfih yarn.
oJevsr Hear This onei
q NY friend senator Depsw
boarded a street car one day
politician was with him ana the
Senator handed the eond1ctor tea
esntH-
a block or two further on the
conductor went through the car
asain and Dspsw handed hin
smother dime.
But I bAye your fAres already
protested the conductor.
II know H." answered pspeN.
this money Ia for the company.
II thought Mr. DsPSr had tod me
sVsrythinE. Dobbsd the King bat he
never told me thhL Is u true uat hr.
DepeN rides iu trEuf'
''There was time IN New York not
Ions ago responded Marx, Sh~H
shey wouldn't have let him aboard a
car on the Canal street crossEsSn line.
Buf here 10 onA Your Na1eHtS. thai
"a sure VIII ht you IN Rockingham
i'aiacs--ln other sorii HFht where
gou live
Ana then. piulesslY and ooneissly ne
pui llis one over tAe plato.
not That Kind Of Pants.
A tramp rams ur slu'tHs bel
ana a woman came % tht dosF,
Mhdaln said the tramp. VII
900 please ASH thf Doctor a. Hlfe
ine q palr OF ull ptntFf
hht smiled ann fuldf = dent
tlink thef NlH antNfr
" MhY nutf Nhlhed fhe WaWf
itccaute ass thf docior, anla
shs
frbrr. uaH lslH DrnHl nrInn a.