davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Glenwood post., 1907-07-06
April Fool.

On April morning every man
May be as foolish as he can;
The silly wagon he may rush
And make the bughouse patients blush.
He has a license for few
Bald tricks a sane man would do;
So patiently he works by rule
To prove he is an April fool.
He has most alluring trick.
And his accomplice is brick
Tucked snugly in some battered tile
OF some obscure, forgotten style.
The passerby of simple heart
Must kick it to perform his part:
Meanwhile the trickster where he hides
May laugh until he bursts his sides.
Or If he wants a finer thing.
A pocketbook tied to n string
That he may quickly jerk away
And leave the finder in dismay
VIII very neatly fill the bill,
A mirth provoker fit to kill,
And any one may laugh at 1t
Who has at least an ounce of wit.
A messenger chased up and down
To find some number not In town
Or several miles away to get
Some triflc not invented yet
For these and other harmless pranls
The foolish for the day give thanks
And seat themselves upon the stool.
The very largest April fool
The Glenwood post., 1907-07-06
Bad Burn Quickly Healed.

81 am so delighted with what
Chamberlain Salve has done for me
that l feel bound to write and tell you
So" says Mrs. Robert Mytton, 457
John St, Hamilton, Ontario. "My
little daughter had bad burn on her
knee. I applied Chamberlain IS Salve
and it healed beautifully" This salve
alays the pain of burn almost in
stantly. 1t is for sale by all dealers.
The Glenwood post., 1907-07-06

Sheep has at last arrived in this part
of Routt county. One day last week a
fine specimen of mountain sheep was
discovered feeding within a short dis
tance of the Haughey residence east OF
town. Several persons passing at the
time got good view of a fine pair of
horns before the old fellow got out OF
sight This is the first mountain sheep
seen in this vicinity for a number OF
years.-Craig Courier.
The Glenwood post., 1907-07-06

An enterprising citizen of this com
munity has offered to furnish spring
water and guarantees the carrier of the
same $50 per month, provided the car
rier will furnish his own tank wagon,
keep the same clean and not over
charge the people. In the event that
the consumers do not pay to this car
rier $50 per month, the deficiency will
be made up, and all amounts in ex-
cess of the $50 will accrue to the car
rier.-Grand Valley News.
The Glenwood post., 1907-07-06

The first carload shipment of fruit
will leave the Palisade station this
evening on No. s, by the Globe ex-
press. IT will include fruit from all of
the local associations and will be load
ed at the platform of the Palisade
Fruit Growers association. This is
the earliest shipment of fruit in car
load lots in the history of the business
in the Rocky Mountain region.-Pali-
sade Tribune, June 90.
The Glenwood post., 1907-07-06
PRESS CLIPPINGS

miles from railroad, Mr.. and Mrs
Mccoy maintained table which could
nowhere be surpassed, and the odd
mixture of genial courtesy and bluff
exterior combined in the worthy land
lord, made all who had ever stopped
with him feel that in him they had a
genuine friend-Yampa Leader.
The Glenwood post., 1907-07-06

There are now three sprinkling wag,
ons at work in and around Palisade at
this time and they keep the roads in
fine condition. Where is there another
country that the farmers keep the pub
lie highways sprinkled during the sum,
mer months ?-Palisade Tribune.
The Glenwood post., 1907-07-06
Weak Kidneys

Weak Kidneys, surely point to weak kidney
Nerves. The Kidneys. like the Heart. and the
Stomach, fnd their weakness. not in the organ
kseit but IN the nerves that control and guide
and strengthen them: DR.. Shoops Restorative II
. medicine specifically prepared to reach thess
controlling nerves. To doctor the Kidneys alone.
Well. 1
II your back aches or is weak. II the urine
scads. or dark and strong. If you have mptomi
OF BIiShts or other distressing or dangerous kid
ney disease, try DR.. Shops Restorative month
Tablets or Lquid-and see what it can and will
do for you. Druggist recommend and sell
The Glenwood post., 1907-07-06

Papers were made out this week of
the Incorporation of the town of Nc
Coy which is said to be the liveliest
place along the Moffat route.-Steam-
boat Sentinel.
The Glenwood post., 1907-07-06

The Blade is printed on Wednesday
this week in order to escape the calam-
ity that might follow the combining of
publication day and the glorious
Fourth of July. Of course the matter
of publication might have been defer
red until the day after, but that would
be extremely hazardous. Many good
intentions have been thwarted by that
same glorious Fourth of July, and as
The Blade is full of them no chances
will be taken. All of this will be suf-
ficient excuse for any shortcoming
that may appear in the issue of today
July 4th, l9O7.-Red Cliff Blade.
The county horticultural inspector is
preparing a large number of circulars
to apple orchardists notifying those
whose trees are infected with blight
to apply formula to prevent injury to
the fruit and the trees themselves.
This formula is: Cut out and burn all
affected parts, always cutting well be-
low affected wood; disinfect tools used
for cutting with kerosene before each
cut, and treat wound with kerosene
after cutting. Examine trees closely
at least twice each week after first
treatment and if any new evidence Of
disease shall appear treat again in the
same manner.-Palisade Tribune.
The Glenwood post., 1907-07-06
End He Had Encountered.

End He Had Encountered.
THAT girl you are courting comes Of
a smart family"
."Well, part of them strike me that
way"
Her father has great business
head"
Il know he has great business
foot"
The Glenwood post., 1907-07-06

Doubtless the ~1rth would have to
take new position in the planetary
system if each of us really did all to
electrify it that we mean to do.
The Glenwood post., 1907-07-06

News reached Charles B. Mccoy on
Monday of the death of his father,
Charles Henry Mccoy, at Lordsburg,
California, on the previous day. While
Mr.. Mccoy had been in very poor
health for the past year, and it had
been certain that the end was not far
distant, yet the news will cause gen
eral grief among the residents of Eagle
and Routt counties, fol. there is no. one
in this portion of the state who il bet
ter known or more thoroughly liked
than G. H. Mccoy. For many years
the famous hotel at Mccoy has been
one Of the most popular stopping places
in the entire state. Although about Is
The Glenwood post., 1907-07-06

kinS 2
Not very
we'll. l hav e
what you might
call a nodding
acquaint TIA nee.
We both sleep
in the sam 9
The Glenwood post., 1907-07-06

Mrs J. f. McHugh of Grand June
tion is visiting her sister, Mrs. Ray
Peterson. Mrs. McHugh is accom-
panied by her five children, and will
remain here for several months. Char
ley, 10 years old, corresponds with
President Roosevelt. He met the
president in Glenwood, and was told if
he ever visited White river to get a
bear; the boy got souvenir postcard,
cone of the Bears that Teddy Didn It
Get,' and sent it to the president,
obeying his orders.-White River Re
view,
The Glenwood post., 1907-07-06

The Empson canning factory, one of
Longmont's greatest industries, COM
menced the canning of peas Monday
morning. 1t will be one of the longest
campaigns since the factory was insti-
tuted. This means a great deal to
Longmont. 1t furnishes employment to
over $50 people, who otherwise would
be forced to seek other places where
they could find employment. Few peo-
pie seem to realize that this is the larg-
est pea canning factory in the world.
And this fact speaks volumes for Long
mont all over the United States
Longmont Times.
The Glenwood post., 1907-07-06

People who are naturally strong and
good ought not to go around looking
for any credit for it.
The Glenwood post., 1907-07-06
Affected Both Alike.

"Are You acquainted with simp-
The Glenwood post., 1907-07-06

Of every descrip.
tion furnished on
short notice at
the office Of the
Post. 'Phone 20
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-08-08
OBJECT LESSON ROADS.

Highway Improvement Work or the
Department of Agriculture.
The office Of public roads of the de-
partment of agriculture is now col
lecting information from every county
In the United States in regard to the
mileage of improved and unimprOved
roads, the amount of cash tax, bonds
issued and other information of q
similar nature. No more telling argu-
ment for reform in wasteful methods
can be adduced than to bring home to
every county just what results they
are obtaining as compared with the
result obtained by others at q similar
cost.
The department Of agriculture is
paying q good deal of attention to the
subject of good roads, for probably no
field of work is of greater interest to
the public at large than the improve
mcnt Of our highways. The most i'm
portant result which has been attained
up to this time, whether produced by
influence in or outside the office Of
public roads, is that the people in all
parts of the country are now interest
ell in the subject of road Improvement
and are seeking such information as
will enable them to carry on the work
along intelligent lines.
While the work of the good roads
Office is primarily educational In char
acter, giving information and advice,
it has often found it advisable to sup
plement advice by practical demon
stration of effective road building.
TO meet this need the object lesson
method was adopted on the following
plan: A section of road is selected for
improvement. and after the proper sur
veyS and estimates have been made by
an engineer of the department expert
foreman and machinery operators are
sent out in charge of modern road
building machinery and the local Of
ficials are taught by actual demonstra-
ton every step in the proper construc-
ton of a road. Absolutely no expense
IS incurred by the federal government
in this work except for the salaries
and expenses of the government en-
ployees, the local communities being
required to furnish the right of way.
all common labor, teams, materials,
etc. used in the work. Such roads have
been built in twenty-eight states, with
total length of about thirty-nine
miles
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-08-08
A FiSH'S TAIL.
The Wonderful Power 1t Develops In
It's Strokes.

The Wonderful Power It Develops In
It's Strokes.
A fish's tail is its wings. Thanks to
the machinery of muscle set along its
spine and to its cleaving form, Il trout
or salmon can dart through the water
at tremendous pace. though its rapid
flights, unlike the BIRDS. are not long
ones. 1t is soon dead beat The wa
ter is not so friendly to flight as the
air. The stroke of the lSh's tail is one
Of great power, and Ivy means of it and
the writing snakelke fleXion Of the
body. high speed is reached. The
strength behind this speed is shown In
the way Il fish or sea mammal out of
the water will raise its tail and strike
the ground or boat. a fisherman told
the writer he once had rude proof Of
this power. He caught and. with aid.
got into his boat n whale thresher. Aft
err lying still awhile as if spent or dy.
ing, the creature, on it's captor APP
preaching. suddenly dashed furously
up and down. The startled men and
their captive between them nearly up
set the boat. 1t was an experience
they wish never to repeat. The slap
ping stroke of a helpless and landed
fish may be often a spasm and no
more, but when large and naturally
aggressive tish--or mammal like this
thresher--lashes on the enemy APP
preaching, it does look like conscious
fight.-George Il. DeWar.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-08-08
COUNTRY HIGHWAYS,
Some Points by Horatio S. Earle
on Their Improvement.
DRkGS AND COMMON SENSE.
Not All Roads Can Be Improved by
This Method, He Says-Locate the
Trouble Frst--A Michigan Invention,
the Grant Rut-out, For Dragging.

In his biennial report Horatio s.
Ealla. state highway commissioner OF
Michigan says regarding the improve
rnent of earth roads,
No road no matter of what material
built in our climate can be good all the
year around unless the water is off
from the surface, out from the sub
grade ana away through the bitches to
The Latjlral water courses. 1t can only
he Of when the road is sufficiently
crowned so it can run off. This does
not mean that the slope from the cen
Ter of the road to the side bitches
should lc 50 steep as to make it ilr
DDS bl, for the rider in carriage 60
lng north 10 see the driver of the team
roing south over the central hump of
lie road. hut it does mean that the
road should have a crown of about one
inch g. j. foot from the center to the
side ditches This may seem to be too
much. but each year the center lowers
Il little by wear and wash, and a por-
tiol Of this substance so worn Off
LODGES at the sides, so that the steep
ness grows less each year. Then the
hurnnS help to raise the sides to some
exteIt. \ road must be kept clear or
ruts. 1t must be smooth. This can
best be accomplished by the frequent
Use of the Grant rut-0ut.
1t isn't enough to get the water Off
the road. and all the drags in Christen-
dom cannot make a good road out Of
road that is chock full of water. even
though it be smooth on top SO that the
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-08-08

surface water can run off Water must
be out This is done by open bitches or
some one of the many kinds of under
draining. open bitches are the cheap
est and for ,lat reason must prevail.
The lea prevails that if the bitches
are deep and the road grade high, even
though Tie bitches are chock full Of
water, there is no water i'll the sub
grade, but any one who thinks for
a moment knows that by capillary at
traction the road is just as full of wa
-er as tho ground is capable of holding
f the wafer stands in the bitches, and,
being full Of water, it is soft and the
WAcels quickly rut the surface, and
'hon V9tor hogins to seep in from the
top, SO it is absolutely necessary to
d; l1 ~ tor 'away"-that is. out Of
the it rs If | could have but one
grad i ialDl, that of the road or
the cit b. / would Dy all means choose
Ghat tie choS Should have a true
grade uC at IS often as possible out
lets should De made for carrying the
water entirely away from the road.
L Npu4t IS SOUI luluk VI curing
horse OF the stomach ache by patting
him on the head as l would of making
i good road out of sand road by
dragging if. Then we must drag in
some common sense. The man at the
road must have his common sense
along with him and do what needs do
ing to cure the road of its disease
After it is cured protect it from all
Iurther inclcmcnt weather by cover
INC Of stone if you can afford it; if not,
gravel and if that is too expensive,
chen, If its sand, clay it; if it is clay,
sand il, ana after the sand and clay
are wei mixed In either case it will
approve that road to keep it smooth
with a drag. And the drag used by
Hon. J.. -. Watkins of Manchester,
Mich, ana many other pioneers, made
Of t'ioe plauks, each plank being
twelve inches wide and ten feet long,
the head plank Tapped on the second
one and the second on the third three
1nchc5 ana finally bolted, with staples
IOI claims In Tie head one. to he drag
@ed along road at an angle of about
fifteen degrees will make the road
smoo,hor, so drier and harder and
much better. provided the road is in
condition to be dragged
Ghe hest rod drag I have yet seen
is the invention OF ". J. Grant of Au-
sable, Mich. which | have named the
Grant rutout." 1t can be used in
more different ways and with better
effect than any other so far designed.
The three inch by four inch by
twelve foot wings should have steel
Faces to make them last longer
and 60 better work. Either wing can
be placed on parallel line with the
tongue and so act as landslide to hold
the drag from skewinc and also to
Keep it from bobbng up ana down.
This "rut out" can be used on snow
10 good effect, of course with the other
end forward. which can be easily
brought about by turning the wings
around SD rs 10 set the steel faces to
Tho front then unbolt the side piece.
(which hold the tongue roll, turn the
tongue around, put on whatever weight
IS needed and you have a very good
cheap sAOw ow.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-08-08
The Indifferent Fishe nan.

Most gladly I'd go fishin
II could sit around
Beneath some ancient apple (. Ne
On green and springy groun
II some one else would fix the ri
Upon the prickly hook s.
And wrestle with the fishes Wits
l sat and read a book.
What could be more delightful
Than on the bank to lie
And daily with the magazines
Or watch the clouds go by
TIL some unkind companion
Awokc you with Il fright
BY calling to you loudly.
"Old man, you've got q bite"
I wouldn't mind the labor.
And 1 could stand the shock
OF opening the hamper
At twelve or one o'clock,
But as for idly sitting
And holding UP pole.
That isn't 50 amusing
Or restful to the soul.
And though ] should at evening
Return without q prize,
That wouldn't greatly hamper
My string of fishing lies.
If others stretched their minnows
To whales or thercabOut,
I surely could take nothing
And make a string Of trout.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-08-08
The Other WAY,

"If I were younger" said the rich
old man, Il believe l might win you
for my wife"
YES" replied the cold beauty, dream
lily considering his SIXTY years. "or.
say. fifteen or twenty ;eafs oldeE"-
Philadelphia Press.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-08-08
Nevada avs.

First American Child-IIere | am ten
years old. and my parents actually OBJ
jected to my going to the matinee.
Second American Chld-The truth Is
that parents nowadays are getting
spoiled. Life
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-08-08
Shattered His Faith

"Do you believe in circumstantial
evidencew
mo; l don't. Any one who was
passing through the dining room in
our boarding house might think we
were having a square meal"
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-08-08
Upper Notes.

"She has wonderful range Of
voice.
"She has, indeed. How high can she
reach with her tOnesY'
ooh, up to about SO night"
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-08-08
Humor one Philosophy
BY DUNCAN N. SMITH
PERT PARAGRAPHS.

Most of us know an individual or
two who would seem to be filling a
long felt want if engaged in furnish
ing the corpse for n quiet funeral.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-08-08
In the Family.

"She is fine musician"
Ibid she inherit her talent?"
Eyes; her father played beautifully
on Il saWbuck"
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-08-08

If it weren't for women the tele.
phone companies would speedily go
out of business, but the same might
be said of anything else.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-08-08
Just as Ornaments.

"What are you doing with all Of
those big books|
Looking up my family tree"
"See pirates hanging on any of the
branchesW
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-08-08


that even the clock seems to get
ashamed Of counting the hours.
Many young man has fallen in love
only to be kicked out Of 1t by his
divinity's dad.
One mark Of mans stupidity Is
that he never discovers how much
more clever his wife is than himself.
1t Is easier for a clever woman to
appear beautiful than for q beautiful
woman to he clever. but the latter Is
superfluOus.
The first time man has to settle
bills after marriage he finds that 1t is
only a question Of old foes with new
faces.
1t isn't so bad, after all, that so many
people fall into error. for 1t gives others
congenial employment In pulling them
out and setting them right.
People talk about loose change, but
experience has proved 1t tight as any
other kind Of money.
II you can't forgive an injury pay OF
the score in such an artistic manner
that you will remember It with pleaJ-
ure.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-08-08

Many young man has fallen in love
only to be kicked out Of 1t by his
divinity's dad.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-08-08
Didn't Match.

II thought you went out to call on q
lady friend. Why home go early'
The evening is yet young"
"Yes, but the lady wasA's"
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-08-08

Some people are such late stayers
ashamed Of counting the hours.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-08-08
Avoidinu consequences.

''IIavc a brain storm with me-"
NO, thank you; my wife would have
one. too, if | We're to come home that
way"
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-08-08

One mark Of u mans stupidity Is
that he never discovers how much
more clever his wife is than himself.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-08-08

branches =?
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-08-08

People talk about loose change, but
experience has proved 1t tight as any
other kind Of money.
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1907-09-19
TELEPHONES PUT OUT
Wires Cut Al GAINESVILLE BY Mayors
Order-ChOp Poles
Next.

Clarksyille, Tenn, Sept. Ia
Several hundred wires, including
two cables Of the Cumberland Tele-
phone * Telegraph Co., were cut
by the City Engineer, acting under
the orders Of Mayor Northington and
in accordance with an ordinance pass
ed by the City Council last Deem
Der requiring the Cumberland Tele-
phone Company to remove its cables
from the business part of the town
and lay them under ground. The
company was gwen until Sept. LIST,
to comply with the law. At the
last meeting Of the City Council
resolution was adopted requesting
the Mayor to take immediate steps
to have the business part Of the
town cleared of wires and poles. On
Sept. End, Mayor Northington mott
fed the Cumberland Telephone Co,
Of the measures he proposed to take
to compel them to comply with the
city ordinance, but nothing was done
until this morning, when he issued
an order to the City Engineer to
clear the streets of wires and poles.
On Franklin street, the pricipal bus
iness thoroughiare of the town, all
the wires are hanging down and only
one-halt Of the telephones Of the city
are in service. II an injunction is
not secured by the Cumberland Com
pany the city will proceed with ITS
work aud all the poles of that COM
pany will be CHOPPED down. The
whole city is intensely interested in
the situation.
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1907-09-19
EN0N.

1t rains almost every day and we
also have wind storms occasionally.
Several people have lost their
tobacco crops aud had their corn
badly damaged by the wind
Some few are cutting their tobacco
aud getting it in the house Sc the \
can smoke the horn worms until they
will agree to quit eating and look
for other employment.
Look out for a wedding this week.
Sunday School at the grove every
Sunday evening.
Next Saturday is regular meeting
day, There is important busines'
to attend to, everybody come.
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1907-09-19

Pain anywhere. pain in the head,
painful periods. Neuralgia, toothache,
all pains can be promptly stopped by a
thoroughly safe little Pink Candy Tab
let. known by druggists everywhere as
DR.. Shops Headache Tablets. Pain
simply means congestion undue blood
pressure at the point where pain ex-
lists DR., Shops Headache Tablets
quickly equalize this unnatural blood
pressure, and pain Immediately departs.
Write DIR. Shoop. Racine. Wis, and
get a free trial package. Large box
p cts. Haynes & Taylor, druggists.