The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-12-14

my summer squashes when he went
home at night. I was hldin' behind q
cuirant bush when he went, aud he
had squash under each arm. Did |
git up aud whoop and howl and cry
out agin de wckedness of de world?
Not any. | knowed human natur and
took IL as matter of co'se. Wasn't
de least disappointed nor mad about IT.
at was only three nights ago dat
Elder Walpole come runnin' ober to my
cabin TO tell me dat his wife had been
took wild cramps and must have half
dollars wuth of brandy to save her
life. didpt fall outer bed ON de
fooh. Ndn't fall ober no chars.
Neither did gin de elder de half dol
lar. | knSwed him fur a liar. | was
'spectin' some such job, and | had de
vinegar and de kyann pepper in de
same bottle aud waitin' fur him. ! in
sisted dat he take big dose himself,
and Mrs. Walpole was around as usual
next mawnin'. l hain't said nuthin
to de elder and hain't gwine to. 1t
was a sort O duty fur him to beat me
outer half If he could, and 1t was
| my duty to protect myself.
"Man come to me last week and
wanted to sell me a mewl. Was it dat
mans duty to pint out de ringbones
land spaVins on dat animal and to tell
me furder dat he was blind In one eye
| and as deaf as post? Course not 1t
was my duty to see fur myself, and
when | had sawn | offered to trade
| him watch in which sixteen wheels
was missin'. We lied to each odder
and we parted de best of friends.
"De chickens was layin' mighty fine
last month, and one day / took three
dozen eggs down to de grocery and
! bought soap and tea. De grocer charged
me too much, and / not only slipped
couple of de eggs back in my pocket,
but three herrings besides. He was
cheat, and had to be cheat to match
him.
"Size de World Up Right"
."I hear folks tellin' what bad world
, dis am to live in and dat n good man
gifts no show. You jest size de world
up right and you'll slip along same as
odder folks, and as fur de good man
| he'd better rub some of 1t off. Too
| much goodness is like putin woolen
| blanket on hoss In July day. It's
hot fur de blanket and uncomfortable
fur de hoss
II hain't sayin' word agin truth
and honesty and gineral integrity. AS
long as de world seemed TO have any
use fur 'em dey was handy things to
have around de house. What ! say is
dat you can't be heap different from
anybody else and make 1t pay or have
| any fun out o It, II you do business
wild man you have got to do it as
| odder folks do.
II hain't sayin' dat it's fur de best
dat men lie and cheat and deceive and
stand ready to do each odder up, and
, neither will l deny dat 1t adds zest to
| life and sharpens up mans wits. ]
| reckon l rather injoy 1t when Ebulu-
| ton Brown comes ober to my cabin
! fur an hours visit and tries to take
de doah mat wild him when he goes.
If he was a good man he would be
bore. AS it am, I'm wonderin' when he
will succeed in gittin' de mat
Jest look upon men as men.
"If you hain't looSin fur truth and
you git dose Of 1t de surprise will be
pleasant.
Don't expect de big end of de trade.
OATS what de odder feller is also look
IN fur.
"Be reasonably honest and be rea-
sonably truthful, but don't go to brag-
gin about 1t or you'll be thought
thief and liar.
"If you want to pass your last days
I'm de porehouse. use men as dey ought
to use you. If you want bacon and
taters fur breakfast. use men jest ns
dey use you-wld leetlc extra exer-
tion throwed in fur good measure"
NJ. QUAD.
| He Sidesteps.