Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-04-20
a-xRz BABoNEr IN A QUANDARY.
Sir ToInsley Parke sighed.

a-xEE RABoNET IN A QUANDARY.
Sir Tow1eley Parke sighed.
Il shah either have to go to work,
y gat married" he murmured, with a
5hREdez.
Zach alternative was equally terrible.
Or I've evils, we are told to always
EhoO8s the lesser. But how can one
GselEs which Is the lesser when both
RTs 70 uniformly bad? How could
@RR u Sir TOwneley Parke's habits
Be2-t work at his time Of life2 Or how
eSald - get On with a wife?
Hs came OF an aristocratic stock,
Int ms stock had run rather thin Of
late yearA Like so many other arts
aoeraEs, he had more blue blood than
Ens2ey. he was a short, slight man,
With little head that was quite bald
S2 top and nearly so at the sides. He
sRs 80, and looked It
Ths idea OF work appalled, him, be-
sA1ss be had never done such a thing,
and had no idea how to set about it.
Ehs hardest tasks he had ever under
taken were when he occasionally tried
% set long odds when the price was
Snort, or endeayOred to inyeigle some
4OOkmaker to let him bet on the nod.
Apart from that, he had never had any
secgpRtioR.
As for a Wife-well, he had lived
ar5 years without one, and had never
Assa dissatisfied with his lot while he
Aaa few pounds In his pocket and a
god eoat on his back. He had never
3sst Ehs need OF a wife, and he knew
AoTks q fellows who looked as though
they would Ike to get rid Of theirs.
G2kTznOny was a lottery, he knew,
and be preferred a fair bet any day.
But now he had come to the end of
Als father. The last acre of the family
1stRbs3 was sold, and the money dissi-
Satsd Just a row or two of houses
vas Al bis papa had left him, and he
lad sold the houses one by one. Now,
With nothing more to sell, and an empty
szcheQuer, he was confronted with the
xwful enigma, Must 1 go to work, or
zanB& / marryf"
Re put the question to Jack links,
sseling the need of advice, and knowing
JACK was a man of the world, for he
AAd once been a billlard7marker. Mr..
3fnks was the gentleman who settled
his betting-book for him when there
wa anything to draw, and made ex-
fuses for him when it was his turn to
pay out
There amt no two ways about it,
Dir TOWneley," said Mr.. links, slapping
Ais slim calf with his rattan; Its as
saay - pie. You must get spliced."
DO you really think SOP groaned
The barOnet Was there no help, no
DkheE way OutR'
-Its the absolute Martln-HarYey for
Eo0," pursued Mr.. Jinks. And what's
more, you must marry money"
81 shouldn't marry anything else"
observed Sir TOwneley.
whats still more, happen to know
Ghe very identical party"
~EOu do7"
a do. Had her in my eye these
twelve months. Thought about fixing
fhs JOB MP myself, but concluded there
vas no earthly chance for me- I'm not
class enough. But she'd fall into your
arms. Offer to make her Lady Towne-
8sy-her ladyship land there's three
thousand a year for you"
Three thousand year!' gasped the
AsrOnet- It seemed like the wealth of
al the Indies.
mot penny less"
Suddenly Sir Towneley turned cold.
J suppose she's about 90, and a widow,
and has q wooden leg, and one eye,
and false teeth and false hair
THE specification amt correct, ex-
sept % lar as she's widow. That l do
know. But I don't think either of her
seSs 3 a wooden one, and both her eyes
D right, and saucy eyes they are, too
and her teeth and hair look o. X. to
ne, though you can't expect man to
- . proper judge OF such things But
Eon't you run your head against a
srSck wall can tell you, Mrs PercI-
sal is al right, very much all right,
and II she's day over 40, I'll eat my
haiti"
~Fat7" queried the baronet, continu-
mg hIB dlsconsOlate line OF thought.
'CertainIy not Buxom. What they
sau a buxom widow, just what widow
sRghf to be- Fair complexion mad yell
sOs hair-bOth her own as far as
knoWi And three thousand year"
when can you introduce me?" asked
Sir ToHneley.
IA WAY OUT.