The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1907-12-27
his protestations. The lover who

his protestations. The lover who
| promises all things without reserve
Is too often like the fellow who
doesn't question the hotel bill nor ask
the price of the wine, because he
doesn't intend to pay It anyway. The
| fellow who is prodigal with his vows
and promises and poetry is generally
the one to whom such things mean
nothing and, being OF no value, can
be flung about generously to every
girl he meets. The firm with the big
gest front office Is likely to be the
one with the smallest deposit in the
| safe. The man who swears off loud.
est on New Years is usually the one
they have to carry home the morning
after. And the chap who promises a
girl a life of roses is the one who will
let her pick all the thorns of for her
self"
Perhaps" sighed the widow, chew.
ing the stem Of a violet thoughtfully,
"the best way to cure a man Of a
taste for anything, after all, is to let
him have too much Of 1t instead Of
making him swear off. II you want
him to hate the smell of a pipe insist
on his smoking all the time. II you
want him to sign the temperance
| pledge, serve him wine with every
course. If you van him to hate a
woman, invite her to meet him every
time he calls, and tell him how 'suita-
BILE she would be-"
"And If you want him to love you,"
finished the bachelor, don't ask him
to swear it, but tell him that he really
ought not to. The best way to a
age a donkey-human or otherwise
is to turn his head in the wrong di.
rection and he'll back in the right
one."
"Then," said the widow decisively
we ought to begin the New Year by
making some PROSECUTIONS"
Somewhat"
Vows that we won't stop doing the
things we ought not to do" explained
the widow.
Cali right agreed the bachelor
thoughtfully, "I1l make an irresolu.
ton to go on making love to you as
much as I like"
"You mean, as much as I like, MI.
Travers," corrected the widow So
verely.
"How much do you like?" asked the
bachelor, leaning over to look into
the widows eyes.
The widow kicked the corner of the
rug tentatively.
81 like-all but the proposing" she
said slowly. you really ought to
stop that"
"Tm going to stop it-to-night."
The widow looked up in alarm.
ooh, you don't have to m
keeping your resolutions until to-
morrow morning." she said quickly.
And are you going to stop refusing
me-to-night," continued the bachelor
firmly.
The widow studied the corner OF
the rug with great concern.
"And," vent on the bachelor. TAX.
ing something from his pocket and
toying with it thoughtfully, you are
going to put on this ring"-he leaned
over, caught the widows hand and
slipped the glittering thing on her
third finger. "Now," he began, "you
are going to say that you will"
The widow sprang up suddenly.
ooh, don't, don't, don't!" she cried.
I'm a moment we'll me making prom.
ises!"
I'VE don't need to-" said the bache-
lor, leaning back ~nonchalantly, w
can begin by making-arrangements.
Would you prefer to live in town or
at Tuxedo? And do you think Europe
or Bermuda the best place for the"
Bermuda, by all MEANS" broke In
the widow, land l wish you'd have
that hideous portico taken off your
town house, Billy, and" But the
rest of her words were smothered In
the bachelors coat lapel-and some.
thing else.
'Then you do mean to marry me,
after ALL" cried the bachelor tri.
umphantly.
The widow gasped for breath and
patted her hair %anxiously.
Il meant to marry you all the
time!" she cried, "but I never thought
you were really in earnest and"
"M%ethinks," quoted the bachelor
happily, "'that neither Of us did pro.
test too much We haven't made any
promises, you know"
Not one," rejoined the widow
promptly, "as to my flirting"
Nor as to my clubs"
"Nor as to my relatives"
"Nor my cigars"
"And we won't make any vows"
cried the widow, except marriage
vows"
"And New Years irresolutions,"
added the bachelor.
"Listen!" cried the widow softly
with her fingers on her lips.
A peal of a thousand silver bells