The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-11-30
globe. You know what tn. peanut is

globe. You know what the peanut Il.
OF courseT'
yep"
'rhey are eaten baked, and they arc
eaten raw. They are eaten ON tpeI
street and In the house. They are cat.
ell at ward caucuses and Mt marriagcs
and funerals. Doctors have alwaysy
said they were a good thing, but how
good no one knew until I compounded
a tonic of them. My dear sir, I can
prove to you that one bottle Of the ton /
lc has the same nutrition as a wholc
carcass of fresh beef"
Gee whiZw
1T strengthens more than barrel Of
wine"
by thunder!''
at will make man or woman put on
five pounds of fat per week"
you don't sayr
"Tbe doctors and the hospitals will
throw aside every other tonic and ac.
ccpt mine. What does Lillian Russell
say? She weighed 1s5 pounds before
taking the peanut tonic and was sup
posed to be going into a decline. In
two weeks she weighed 210 pounds
and was looking around for the ux to
chop wood. What has kept the two
senators from New York state alive for
| the last month? What has braced Sen
ator Foraker up anew? Why has the
czar of Russia ceased TO talk Of vsign.
Ing? Why Is the Chicago beef trust
| trembling in its shoes? tell you, sir,
we have the grandest thing on the face
| of this green earth, and if you don't
make Sl0,OO0,OOO out of 1t in three
years I'll be disappointed in you. AS
! said, want you for treasurer"
"And, by gum, you can have mew
Uncle Reuben's Salary. .5s
"That's right That's the way like
! 10 hear man speak up Your salary
FOR the first year. while we are getting
! under way, will only be hundred
thousand dollars, but after that IT may
20 70 half a million. All you'll have
TO do is to count the money as 1t comes
In and goes out aud be careful that yon
don't pay ont any thousand dollar bills
for hundreds" Al.
Say. it's great: it's greatw whisper
ed Uncle Reuben as he walked around
! and rubbed his hands together.
1T Is greater than great" added the
major as lie also walked. "You may
want to know where we shall get our
peanuts from. Not from the American
| trust, you can bet. have leased 5000
600 acres OF the great Sahara desert
to grow them on. Fifty bushels to
| the acre, and that makes 250,O00,000
| bushels Of peanuts. We shall have our
own bottle factories and raise our
corks."
lord. what head you have got ON
you!'
"Klngs, emperors, czars, presidents,
dictators. lords, dukes, barons. connts,
opera singers and actresses to adver-
tise us, and behind them all the doc
! tors come trailing In: also all the news
papers. Can you beat 1t? Cgn you
match Major CrofootY 91
shake hands, major" said Uncle
Reuben as lie held out HE paw.
And can YOU so to work on Mon
day?" queried the promoter after shak-
ing.
| III DE on hand or perish"
Every well. You may indorse that
check and leave il with me as security
that you will show up. It's mere
formality, you know. Turn the check
over and write your name there"
| And I'll make-make'--
You'll have $5,0OO,OOO in the bank
before another buckwheat crop Is on.
J And now, as this is my busy day
! "rll take skate and show up Mon
day morning"
The major sat down and pressed his
hands to his humping heart and long
ed for dose of brandy. He gave Un-
Gle Reuben ten minutes to get out OF
the neighSorhood and then wrote his
own name on the check and went over
to the bank and showed it at the pay
ing teller In careless way.
Good only for paper rags" said the
teller as he showed 1t back, with grin.
Uncle Reuben was on top. He had
soaked the man who was seeking to
soak him. NJ OIyAD