The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1907-08-08

sIlai.i -. = ~
4 z. 81
Andrew j. Arnett and son were rei
Gently visiting at AfnsttsyilIe. q
Thomas EaRcett, d Fayette City,
was visiting near Hugans this week:
y The clay district Sunday school con-
.yention- will be held At ccurdysxtlle.
next Saturday.
Herbert Fetty and Mr.. and AS
Louis Smith were recent Fairmont W.
itors on Big Indian creek.
oren Jones and family, of Laurel
.Rdnt Spent Sunday ii H4gsns.
MI I'D not wish4P Annoy anyone
With t9oilycoddls Istict Iqhesuons, Yut
we are in a desperate hurry to know
what the peek.a.boo waist derives its
name from.
Prohibition and hypocrisy may not
be comrades in crime, but they often
have a tie that binds 1pd. leadsl them
together somewhere, somehow to some
thing made with hands eternal and on
earth.
Potato bugs did not visit Monongalia
county this year, and we wish the
same could be said Of humbugs.
The camp meetings at Arnettsyllle
have ceased and existence on this:
section of our sphere is one boundless.
waste Of measureless lesoIation. The
songs of unspeakable beauty that were
chanted with unprlntable sweetness
now soar back and forth in memory's
tender view. The thoughts, sublime
that were carried ny the breezes
through the leafy grove will perhaps,
be remembered when Bryan ceases to.
crate, John D. oiInfeller ceases to
speculate and Joe Cannon smokes no
more. sss,
We would regret very. much being,
regarded as cynical, but alas how many.
reckless, Incorporate assertions are
encountered these days while the dog
star mot the Lone STAR rises and sets
with the sun. For instance, modern
distributor Of woe soaked wisdom says
that If women were ,asecareful Of their
characters as they IRE, Of their, conI
plexions there would be fewer grass
widows In the world.
The Populists, 1t seems, have been
lost in oblivion's shoreless sea, but
other freaks may appear at, any time.
Who knows when a Mary Baker Eddy.
lite will appear clothed in suspender
less garments Of glory? 43 n
A bullying crowded scientist says
that kissing will remove freckles.
Fair, gentle reader, are you ready to
have the theory tested? An ounce Of
prevention is not worth a pound OF
cure in this case.
There were 100000 demijohns manu-,
featured in the United States last
year. One for each and every. Demo
crat and few left for Carrie Tomboy
Nation to hurl hatchets and adjectiyes
at.
According to Bryan, no one Is a
Democrat that has refused to vote for
bin and his theories. He would cast
all others into outer darkness where
there is wailing and gnashing of teeth.
Human arrogance occasionally passetli
understanding AMI often induces its
possessors to look for halos above
their own heads. ses sa'i
The Sage Brush Scientific Society
decided at its last meeting that an
oyster is a wild animal; an onion is
a polecat: free silver Republican an
upsolvable and an ENJOYABLE mystery;
anewly married couple a gay, guiltless
pair; a microscope one Of the essen
tials when viewing bathing suits ana
that the inventor of work should be-
compelled to spend his days repair
ing the roads from the source of Phar-
aoah's Run to the open Polar, Sea,
That poem, as natural as waving
forests, shining streams and eternal
hills, Maud Muller has been, revised
and as your readers are in the habit
of getting late eveats promptly we. has
ten to give the new versIon:-
Maud Muller on summers day,
Raked the meadow sweet with hay,
And pulled the suckers from the corn
Needing not the dinner horn,
Till she broke ont with prIckly heat
And then her language shocked the
wheat. PAGAN,
|, The. biggest stock of sewer pipe in