The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-03-16


incongruity of thus deliberately lock
ing the stable doors after the horses
were stolen inspired thesavagc cpl
gram
Behold a proof of Irish sense,
Here Irish wit is seen:
When nothing's left that's worth de
tense,
They build a magazine!
OF genial Goldsmith there is only
one opinion, whether among his con
temporaries or in the verdict of pos.
terity. Thackery, who did not love
Swift, denied that the Dean was a
true Irishman. He said, 81 think
should rather have had a potato and
a friendly word from Goldsmith, than
have been beholden to the Dean for
guinea and a dinner. He insulted
man as he served him, and flung his
benefactions into poor mems faces.
No, the Dean was no Irishman-no
Irishman ever gave, but with a kind
word and a kind heart"
This is a severe condemnation Of
Swift; but Thackery, it must be re-
membered, could travel through Ire
land and see only amusing things
while Swift, who lived there, saw only
the utter misery and hOpelessness
around him, and was half in earnest
when he wrote his famous modest
proposal" that the children OF the
poor should be sold to the rich, to be
killed and eaten, as an advantageous
thing for both parties, since it would
enable the poor to have something
worth selling, (which by law may be
made liable to process of distress and
so help to pay their landlords rent;
their corn and cattle, being already
seized and money a thing unknown.
But Thackery did not love any
Irishman who served Ireland, and
used all his satire in ridiculing the
gallant young patriots of the AS ris
ing, as well as O'Connell, who was
opposed to them but loved Ireland
also Therein Thackeray let his pre-
iudices run away with his sense of
humor, for O'Connen was as witty as
he was patriotic, which is saying a
good deal.
Everybody knows the story of his
encounter with Biddy Moriarity, the
Dublin fishwoman, duel OF words, but
who was wholly, defeated and silenced
when O'Connell assailed her with
such vituperative epithets as IAN old
hypOtenuse" and a "parallelopipedon. "
There was one client whom O'COn-
nell defended successfully from the
a.; no
was grateful. He was also appreciat-
i've; and when he was accused of a ST.
milar offense some months afterward
he retained his former attorney, who
secured his acCuittal. A year more, and
the unfortunate man was tried for pi-
racy, and O'Connell for a third time
got him free When he heard the yer.
dict of mot guilty." he leaned from
the dock toward his counsel and,
raising his eyes and hands in pious
gratitude, said ferVently, "Oh, Mr..
O'Connell, may the Lord spare you
long-to met"
Charles Manners, the Duke of Port
land, enjoyed his life in Ireland at n
time when gentleman drank as long as
they could sit at the table. He himself
was fond of a glass, and fonder of sew
eral of them. Once when he had been
enjoying the comparative degree OF
that fondness, he took it into his head
to confer the honor of knighthood on
the innkeeper who had furnished the
liquor. The Duke had that preroga.
tive: so. in spite of all that his boon
companions could do to prevent him,
he bade the man kneel down, drew
his sword and solemnly said, Rise
Sir Patrick Shaughnessy!"
Sir Patrick was Willing.
Next morning, when his head was
sorer and a trifle clearer, he sent for
the man gave him a handful of gold,
and said, Pat, you mustn't mind any
thing that passed last night; it was
all a Joke; so think no more about
it,"
Sir Patrick put the money in his
pocket, buttoned up the pocekt care,
fully, and with his finest bow re-
piled, CAS- to that, Your EXcellency,
sure, it's all wan to me; but what
will Lady Shaughnessy say?'
It is one of the traits of Irish humOr
that it is so often concealed under
a cloak of apparent simplicity, even
stupidity at times, when the only OBJ
ject of the humorist is to enjoy hum
bugging unsuspecting strangers, with
what looks like an irish bull. ] have
heard a public speaker tell, as an
Irish bull, the answer of a man who
had boosted of having fought all
through the Civil War, from the first
battle to the last,
81 suppose you were at Bull Run?
que~ied sneering listener.
81 was"
"And I suppose you ran away, didn't
you?"
81 did. Thin that didn't are there
yit."
The man who gave that answer
could afford not TO care very muci
whether a more stupid individual con
sidered It witticism or a bull
It is, or ought to be, an axiom II