The Ely miner., 1907-12-20
fixing THE
BARN ROOF

Slowly and painfully the assistant
bill clerk walked into the shipping.
room. He limped to the billing desk
and carefully moved the high stool
| But he did not sit down.
Whats wrong?' asked the ship.
ping clerk.
"I sure hate to tel,' the bill clerk
| answered, "but l guess I'll have TO re
| late all the harrowin' details. My
| wife's never satisfied | been maxim
. garden all week around the barn,
but that amt enough. Yesterday
mornin' at the breakfast table she
says, sudden like:
| Eusophus, that barns got to be
shingled. To-day's a mighty good day
| to do it,
well, sir, there wasn't nothing to
do but get to work. So got shovel
to rake the shingles off with and then
! I got ladder to climb up on the roof.
The ladder was kind O. wobbiy, so my
wife said she'd hold it, l was carry
in the spade in one hand and our kid
was helpin' my wife hold the ladder.
| L
the pesky thing got shaky. One O. my
feet slipped and went right in my
wife's face. She howled an 1 got
scared. I dropped the fool spade and
it hit the kid square on top of the
head. He howled, too Then the lad
der broke in the middle an dropped
in the rainbarrel.
"Well, we laid off about an hour for
repairs and then we went at it again.
patched the ladder UP and this time
I got to tn roof all right. Then
started to make those shingles fly with
that shovel. And got along fine, too.
That is, till I got down to the caves.
Then didn't have any place to stand.
When the Gutter Gave Away.
"'How'm I goin' to get these
shingles OFF, yelled to my wife, who
was sittin' on the porch
"'Stand in the gutter she yelled
back. I did-for about two seconds.
Then the gutter broke an let me down
in tn flower garden on top O three
rose bushes and cactus plant. Amt
1t funny how mad woman gets? She
didn't think nothin of all them stick
ers in my hide. She just gave me
about IL lectures cause broke those
rose bushes. There wasn't anything
could say back cause my wife
talked too fast. When that woman
gets started you might as well try to
stop a 10000 horsepower benzine
buggy on a slayin' expedition.
"T must guessed wrong she says
indignant like. L don't think you can
shingle that barn.
"Well, that sure did make me sore.
I up and told her just TO watch her
husband an she'd see some develop
ments. I put the ladder up against
the barn-after I'd picked most O the
stickers outen me-and started to
work again. I had to stand on the
ladder and pull the shingles off with
my hands About every two minutes
that ladder'd slip an let me down on
those rose bushes again. When I got
through pullin' the shingles off I
looked like pin cushion in wom-
ans golf club on a busy day.
81 got all the shingles off, but the
nails wouldn't comS. They were all
stickin' up from tn. under timbers.
"'Better drive those nails in fore
you start shinglin',' my wife says.
"'Who's bossin' this job, anyhow
I yelled was gettin' mad. L guess
know what I'm doin.' I'll drive tn
nails in as / go along. I'll save time
by it, Well, climbed up over the nails
to the top O. tn barn. 1 never saw
so many nails in my life as there were
sticking outen those undertimbers. Th'
men that did that job certainly weren't
stingy. When l got to tn top o. tn
roof 1 found out I'd forgotten to bring
my hammer. I started down-an'
slipped. Over all those nails I went
about mile a second. Then I landed
in tn rainbarrel again. My wife
pulled me out. Bleedin'? Oh, no.
just looked like somebody had started
a butcher shop and used me for the
meat No, l didn't work any more
that day"
And the bill clerk limped to the tele.
phone to call up a carpenter.