The Washington herald., 1907-09-22
CALLS ARMY CAPTAIN
Civilian Wins Day in Local
RefTeshment ParlOP.
PROMPTLY RESENTS AN INSULT
Bold Soldier spells n High Ball and
il Brought to Task by ex-Membcr
dents Name Drawn Into the Con-
tFOyerSy and Trouble Follows.

Something OF "a mild army scandal has
been caused as the result Of a wordy
alteration the other day n one Of tie
downtown refrcshment parIors. between
an army captain in the service and an
ex-member Of the Industrial Commission.
The captain, who was much fatigued
by the extensive irrigation projects he
had been conducting in his interior de-
partmelt, came Off second best at the
hands Of the civilian, and had to take
a denuneiation which would have made
real 'scraDper" fight.
Il all came about because the captain
undertook 10 wipe out with three-days
Old kitten slight which be fancied had
been paid TO the President Of the United
States, whose particular guardian in the
Amy be proclaimed himself 70 be.
The eX-member Of the Industrial Com
mission, with two or three prominent
good fellows Of wide local fame. was
lined up at the mahogany bar in tbs
downtown resort
Three luscious high balls, ripe to perfec-
ton. stood before the trio on the wood
work. and anon the party slipped the iced
/ liquid as the eX-commissloner told Of a
socialist speech he had heard recently
on street corner In Cleveland.
Finds Kitten in Glass.
The Socialist had been paying his re-
sPects in no tender terms 10 President
Roosevelt and the commissioner. vino
has held numerous Jobs" under Repub-
+ lican administrations. repeated The street
orators laHsuage verbatim As he con-
cluded a roar OF laughter arose. and the
story teller turned 10 drain the dregs Of
I his high bali What was his astonlsh-
ment to find in the glass a three-day-old
+ kitten.
/ Here" cried the ex-commissiouer, I
/ didn't order that"
/ Then he became aware OF a fierce
/ looking man az his elbow
/ No, beloved the man. as ferceIy
/ as he looked. Il put it there. I-dndex-
+ ing himself IN his breasu-I am a cap
/ tain IN the United States army viii
/ not permit the President of the United
/ States 20 be insulted in my presence"
/ You are a. SpIUttered the ex-
/ industrial commissioner. and II YOU ara
/ a brave army officer. I hope you'll fight.
/ ! have as much, or more. respect for the
! President than you have. and I have not
said anything insulting about him"
Party Fears Carnage.
/ The manager Of one Of the theaters. a
( weIl-kaown actor and half dozen other
4 prominent men,, who heard the contro-
/ versy. scattered They anticipated car
mage. That the army officer would
throw" a six-shooter and perforate the
I eX-cCmmissi0ner wasn't doubted. The
7 Colored porter started on a run for mon.
so that he could get an early start in
/ cleaning up.
! Unfortunately. there was nothing doing
/ The army officer located the exit and
/ wandered out On the street he met TWO
other officers. and started back. then. 10
avenge the insult. He could not be re-
strained by threats or entreates on the
part Of his comrades, who apoloCfzed for
their brother-in-arms and said they
( wanted 70 get him home"
Wait minute, said the diplomatic
manager; I have sent for q reporter and
/ a photographer 50 that we can have this
| thing done up right"
Hearing which, a CLEAN of intelligence
. overspre7d the face Of the captain and ha
faded away in the direction Of the Viz
ginia hills