New-York tribune., 1907-07-31
THE TALK OF THE DAY.
CONNIUTATIUS AT THE BRIDGE.
E,xcuse me, Mr.. Macaulay)
On Won straight bridge a thousand
Ride in the place of three;
All nations stand on every hand
And hold the bridge with me.

1'li And hold the bridge with me-
Champ Clark. according to an exchange Is an
adr,,rar of former Congressman Johnson, OF lndi-
ana He tells this story to illustrate Johnson
skin I'm debate and parliamentary procedure
Former Congressman Johnson, OF Indiana IN
debate called an Illinois Congressman an ass, Inls
was unparlamentary and had to be Withdrawn
..Nr Johnson said: I withdraw the language
Mr. Speaker but insist that tho gentleman Ho'n
Illinois is out Of order
".How am out of order?' yelled tho man from
Illinois.
Probably n veterinary surgeon could tel you
retorted Johnson.
This was admissible on the records
TIE GOOD OLD SUMMER TINE,
In the good old summer time.
Also classic music and brainstorn
." ''e 0''u'"O''-" KANSAS City Post
Rear Admiral LOngnecker (retired). remarklns
recently the subject or dlscohtehl among Soi-
diers and sailors. said;
Men are often discontented without reason. but
oftcner they have good ground for their grumbling
and It is because their officers are stupid or lazy
that conditions do not improve.
Il remember visiting n pompous. hand
some stupid army officer.
During my visit a private approached the officer
with a fun cup and saucer in his hand.
Well. Binks. my man said the officer. in
condescendng tone
".Captain.' said the private. saluting. I'll ask ye
10 taste this here 1 won't make no complaint. III
Just ask ye to this slop and II ye don't say
by
THAT will do. Binks.' the captain interrupted
I'm his dignincd way, for Bnks getting very
angry: and he took the cup from the man. bent
forward sttfly, and swallowed couple Of mouth
fuls Of tho nguid
Then he looked at the private calmly
This is not bad he said. can't taste any
thing wrong with this. Binks BY the way. what is
It? Tea coffee?
Tho Hydra There have been many strange
Gus was recently mentioned by little schoolgirl
The HYDRA" said this much i!I2 Informed S young
cut her head off, another ono sprang right up
Youths Companion
New Workers. with their narrow courts and ab-
seuce OF dooryards. just beginning 70 realize
tho possibility o( the roof. Tho roof has been
utilized much during the present hot spell. Where
the fire escapes OF the tenement houses were not
large enough to accommodate entire family tho
overflow sought the roof. This situation prevailed
in the ghetto and in tho wood alcohol belt in Elev
cuth avenue. In the West Side district. Downtown
ln the business section many OF the clerks and
wnrkmcn spent their luncheon hour there This
was especially those tall buildings overlook
ing tho rivers and the bay The janitors OF many
have their rooms the last floor and have turned
the roofs into veritable flower gardens.
New York can take a lesson from the Orien-
tails" said "A business man the other day. Il be
ucve the time win soon when tho city's
myriad roofs will bloom with gardens. watered by
fountains, and cool arbors. where the people can
spend their evenings without mingling with the
mobs in the parks.
Pop"
a man an that manages a balloon Is called an
YES. my boy
And a man who runs automobile is called
la cIauheur? eur ho,,.
Wen. what would you call a man who runs Il
"Oh~an undesirable citizen my son!"-Yonkers
Statesman.
This story is well in keeping with the spirit OF
the age a Bronx man tells 1t about his little boy
The neghbors yourg hopeful very III. and
Willie and the other youngsters in tho block had
been asked not to mako any noise In tho streets
The ncghbor's door bell rang day and she
opened It to find Willie standing bashfuly her
front steps
How is he today he inquired in a shy whis-
per.
Hes better thank you. dear. and what a
thoughtful child you to and ask"
Willie stood moment one foot and then burst
forth again. I'm orfuI sorry Jimmy's sick"
The mother was profoundly touched. She could
find no further words to say, but simply kissed
him. Made sin bolder by the caress Willie began
to back the steps. repeating at intervals his
sorrow FOR his playmate's illness. At the bottom
step he halted and looked up. IF Jimmy should
die he asked, kin have his drum
"Ah. | have an impression" exclaimed Dr. Me
Gosh. the president of Princeton College. To- tho
mental philosophy class Nov. young gentlemen" a"
continued the doctor he touched his head with
his forcfnger, can you tell me what an impress
tsp
No answer.
What; no one knows? No one can tell me what
impression is?' exclaimed the doctor. looking
up and down the class.
Il know said Mr., Arthur. AN impression is
dent in Il soft place"
Young gentlemen" said the doctor. removing
his hand from his forehead and growing red the
face, you are excused for the dty."-Judpe.
DOG THAT CATCHES FISH,
From The Kansas City Star.
ohio ls.lInr,