The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1907-05-21

cars ou< 20 sac tn stuffed animals an
tn bones " pre-htetor4c monsthers IN
tn museeerns. His idea is 70 maze
Peace thTulv attractive an gas. m.
fr tn mcctin' he ct up this allurin.
programme:
Chairman-A. Carnegie.
Opinin' Invocati ton ....... Andre"
Speech " Welcome TIL Chairman
Song ... A. C~arnaySle
Grafton. - CarHat sie
Bag pipe solo. Tn Palms. tn
Chairman
Presentation iV medals to AndrheW
Carnoygie be tn Chairman.
Response a. C~arnaygle
Incidental music, eIecthric lights
railroad scenery. costumes, FOOD an
dhrink. Carnaygie
I'm not thry to tell We what was
done at tn meetin.' Ye'ye read about
il in tn pa-apers. Tn
pledged thimsilves 10 call por their
respective nations TO beat their soorGs
into plowshares. which Andrew Car
enygie agreed to float on tn market
as soon as money got a little aisier.
At tn end " tn meetfn' tn Fr-rinCh
representative Crept around Dehln'i
Andrew an garOtted him with TN
Legend iy Honor. This is a rare dig
nitv Fl France to bestow or amy
van. It admits Andrew TO a society
that includes Packfn, tn wel-kno"n
dhress-maker; two reaper
thrers firm Chicago, a ci~llybrated
English pickle maker, an Jacqes. tn
best barber in all Paris. But is was an
honor well armed. TIL total cost ~ IN
entertainment. includin' bus fare, new
embrellys. restorin' lost eyeglasses.
grool in tn rooms, ct eethry. was wan
hunderd an fifty thousand dollars an
that, me frird on a newspaper tells
me. is about tn equivalent Is tWinty
cents an agate line next 10 pure read
in mater, Very reasonable.
It's a sad thing to say, Einnissy.
hut dye know tn popylace didn't
seem to take this here ep~och-Tnakin'
win with much enthusyaam. Whin
tn conference broke up ye'd expect %
see tn sthreets lined with peopl.
waitin' fr tn hayroes to emerge. I
thought hundreds iv polismen Wud
be required to keep back tn dense
tn sidewalks Women an childhcr
bring along their lunches, an perch
on tn front stoops iv tn houses. Tn
windows are filed with bright an
cage faces. suddenly a band COM
posed iv two hundred harps an as
nanny flutes sthrikes up stirrin' lul-
laby, an tn gallant defenders iv our
hearhs come down through a line iv
chcerin' humanity. Who's that
marchin' ahead with tn steady meas
trot " a seasoned peace lover,
that splendid figure near five feet
high, with q face ronze be thousands
iy compliments? 1t can'tbe: yet it is
hooray.' An as tn haryro that has
silenced q millyon batthries toddles
by with his hcad bowed. tn polismen
blow him kisses, thousands ~ white
flags are waved. tn heart iv mannv
a young man beats faster at tn
thought hat some day he, too, may
sell out to q trust, an Admiral Farrs-
climbs down firm his pedestal an
is seen runnin' f. tn river
But it didn't happen that way at
all. TIL country whit to be unusual
ly early on tina fatal night. No wan
thought ~ calm up tn newspaper
an askin' if there was amy
firm tn Peace conference. I
looked to see something comm out o n
III ticker. tut tn ticker was full iv a
shameful account " a fight between
two fellows named Burke an Sullivan.
| don't care FIR these things. They
disgust me thin barb'rous exhibitions,
but l do think that If Sullivan had
his man off with his left an not
thried to mix it he mightve-but
what am l talkin' about.
I'm sorry tn destruction ~ war
has beer rayceived with no more en-
~thusyasm thin a Rapport iv tn fish
commission in Arizony. But SO it is.
dye now I've begun to have a
that war may be more
thin some iv us thinks. It's
been goin' on FIR q good NANNY years.
tells me there was a peace
conference in Rome so nanny years
that it must've been befure my
an Joolyas CAVIAR stint his re-
CARDS to it be a man he captured in
I'm rot fr war; I'm again
it. But what am I goin' to do with
tn young fellows? If there was wan
man undher sixty at tn Peace Con-
I'd have a little something
on Universal Peace. War amt
tn old Their business is set back
practisin' checkers, sage advice, an
usury.-
But to a lad wars a picnic. If he
1idn't feel hat way there wudden't
be amy wars
you can't convince tn kindly young
fellow that We get FIR sojers that it 5
4 perilous occupation. He knows it
amt, compared with tn kind he's used
Larkin has tn figures. an he
he can prove to ye hat amy man
or a first-class American rail-
rOa listed m tn New York stock
Exchange has about five times as
good a chance to be kilt as tn most
intrepid sojer. How many old rail-
men dye see roun An how
NANNY vethranS iv tn Grand Army iv
tn Raypublic? l know It's wrong FIR
a cOnscript in tn induSthreel army.
who's detailed to tn important post il
amin white lead to fly his jooty whin
he's called upon to GO out an shoot
fr'm behind a three at foreigners thai
he used to throw bricks at, but We
prove it to him. War fr this boy
IS three. fou or five years iv tn kline
a time he has FIR a week ivry year
Il loiN lj~, an Jpi1iI- X-o1cI on al I #
Stubby Schwartz goes off campin' al
Lakes.
An tn ladies', What ARE We gOin'
to do about thin? Are We goin' to
abolish tn ladies whin We abolish
War? I know pa~wnbrokin' Is n more
hon'rable profissyon hin war. but
niver see amy bright chances iv tn
fair directed at me frind Nose. I've
seen THIN hand him ivrything else.
niver an eye. TIL aides wud keep
goin' if ~ivrybody else was again
It. In me dey l was no badge-horse
nesilf whin it come to popularity
Nit tn sex, but whiniver 1 see a coat
With brass buttons wipin' its feet on
tn dure-mat 1 reached undher tn
chatr fr me hat. If stayed. 1
I'd have to put in tn ayenin'
with tn old man about hi.,
Yes. sir. we're against war. an so
am l.. an so is ivirvbody who knCWs
tn way to tn dintists. But ye'n niyer
get tn foolish an frivolous young TO
give 1t up till We practice tn rule laid