The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-15
THE HOTEL CLERK
 ON ANCESTRY HUNTING
BY IRWIN S. COBB.
<<TT was sad thing that happened
 at Pittsburg," said the Hotel

<<TT was sad thing that happened
 at Pittsburg," said the Hotel
 \ Clerk.
 "Readin' the comic papers you'd think nothin sad ever happened there" said the House Detective of the Hotel St. Reckless.
 'Well, this was sad, all right" said the Hotel Clerk. Tn that historic city from which so many mililonaires have come-and come fast-there are acres of patrician faces still streaked with stains where the tear of distress coursed downward and made furrows through the native complexion.
 'It started this way Larry. There was a well-dressed young man with a clean collar on that came to Pitts burg and attracted some attention. He went to the leading hotel and took the most expensive suite-the one with the bath room attached. Then he sent out form of letter to the chivalry and beauty of the city, saying he was travelling ahead of the main show. booking orders for presentations at the court of St. James. Terms payable in advance. Come early and avoid the rush. Not responsible for overcoats and umbrellas. Line forms on the left. Take check and hold turn"
 Did he git any answers" asked the House Detective.
 Well, not as many as he expected" said the Hotel Clerk. "At a compara- lively early stage of the negotiations the police broke in on the well dressed young man and took him to the only large public building in Pittsburg that Andrew Carnegie didn't help to build. I refer to the county jail. But in his apartments they found upwards of three hundred replies from the best old iron, steel and smelting families and the cop at the door turned away a squad of letter carriers that had just backed up at the curbstone with truck load of belated answers marked 'Urgent-in Haste from the outlying suburban villas. It looked like every prominent Pittsburger that had sue ceeded his union card in the puddlers union for a coat of arms was wiling to pay handsome bonus for the sweet boon of appearing at St. James. l un- derstand that it's splendid thing for all concerned when a fieshy party from the Middle West and the lady members of his household can rig up like they were going to a fancy dress ball and enter a large, gloomy, or EngAsh drawing room full of ladies in wait ing-though l don't know what It Is they wait for unless it's a beauty doc tor-and advance to a raised platform on which stands regal form measur- ing five feet three in height, and the same around the center, and they bow low to his Majesty, who favors them by glancing kindly over their heads, and then they back out of the royal presence like a bunch of scary year lings emerging from a stock car, and come home and brag. From what can gather nearly every European ruler looks like a pineapple cheese or has an intellect like one, yet there's always n large annual output of American m1l- lionaires spending the time and money trying to keep out of the united States courts, and get into the Euro pean ones.'
 "Them Pittsburg plutes must De easy money?" said the House Detec- tive. ,
 "Oh, I don't know" said the Hotel Clerk. If the young gentleman with The entray to St. James had only stopped over in New York, and put his scheme on here, the resulting corre- snondence would have swamped the general postoffice inside of forty-eight hours. Or he could have shut his eyes and picked out any town In the uhlleu States that's big enough to nave horse show, and he'd a-been surpliseo at the prompt response accorded to ms attractive proposition by the eilte oi tn community.
 You may recall, Larry, that IL Wts in our own midst. where the lady ia'e-