The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-12-08
FROM BEHIND THE CURTAIN.

Lulu Chaser in Lola from Berlin, -
vouches for the truth of this.
He was a sad-faced American tour
list, and as he seated himself in a Lon
don restaurant he was Immediately at
tended by an obsequious waiter.
II want two eggs" said the Ameri-
can, zone fried on one side and one
on the other"
'Ow is that. sir?" asked the as
founded waiter.
Two eggs-one fried on one side
and one on the other"
Very well, SIR"
That waiter was gone several min
utes and when he returned his face
was study.
Would you please repeat your nor
der, sir?"
u said very distinctly, two eggs
one fried on one side and one on the
other"
Oppressed silence and then dozed,
Very well, SIR
This time the waiter was gone long
er and when he returned he said anx-
iously:
Would it be awsking too much, sir,
to ave you repeat your horder, sir? 1
cawn't think 1 ave it right, y'know.'
Two eggs" said the American sad
l
and one on the other.
More oppressive silence and another
fainter Very well, sir"
This time he was gone still longer.
| When he returned his collar was I'M
buttoned, his hair disheveled and his
face scratched and bleeding. Leaning
over the waiting patron, he whispered
beseechingly:
Would you mind tyking boiled
heggs, sir? I've 'ad some woids with
! the cook"
Chauncey Olcott. being a wise show
man as well as a popular star, keeps
on hand a stock of Irish stories. Among
them is this one:
"A gentleman residing in a small
| town lost his wife, and, in Difference
| to the last wishes of the deceased. the
remains were cremated. Bridget Elan
nigan, a former servant in the family
heard of her old masters trouble anC
called to console him.
"'Oh, wirra, wirrap she cried, rock
ing herself~tO and fro. An your pool
lady is dead! Sure an it's miserable
we all are, for a more blissed sow
niver lived
"'You are very kind to say so
Bridget
| All YOU 0du ell DuED ncE
Yes; she was cremated.'
Och, the saints presarve up! Why
didn't We let the Lord tend to that?' d
Tim Murphy has a country place on
Long Island, which he recently adver-
tised for sale. A friend asked him
the other day if he had sold it. mo, u
replied the comedian, ''the agent wrote
such an enchanting description Of il
for the advertisement that I've decided
it is too good to part with"
| At one of the actors clubs in New
York last summer a loan was being ne
gotiated between an actor and vet
eran employee. The thrifty servant
brought his problem to Murphy.
Our friend, Mr.. Strutter wants 10
| borrow $500 and says he will pay back
$25 month. How much will he be
owing me at the end of the year,"
Five hundred dollars" replied Mr..
Murphy.
| At Fairfield, n. J., De Wolf Hopper
was playing in "Happyland" and was
sitting in his dressing room when a
card was sent in with an insistent
message that the owner must see Mr.
| Hopper on important business
"Send him in" said the obligine
! Hopper.
A lank, loose-jointed young man of
a few inches more than six feet fol-
| lowed the card.
81 want to be an advance agent" he
said, coming to the point quickly, land
I like your show so well l want To
work for you and nobody else
ANY experience?" asked Hopper.
''Well," said the applicant, Il amt
never had any real work at it, but
used to work in a picture frame place
where the agents came, and [ heard
| them talk, and 1 can DO il as we'll as
| they can"
Picture frames!" exclaimed Hop
per- adding a daub to his nose. "Wnv.