Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-03
METEOROLOGICAL
CONVERSATION

Is there anything commoner or less
sensible than the way In which four peo-
PIE out or hve open a conversation In
summer 1t is. "Is 1t hot enough" but
really 1t Is too familiar to repeat Tt va
ries with the season. varies with the days
| moods, varies with the temperament OF the
inquirer. He quizzes you as to your opin-
ION OF miserable. mean drizzle that would
make even a Scotchman swear, as though
tnere could POSSIBILITY be two opinions
ABOUT 1t. He puts you through the third
degree In regard to a blizzard as IL sus-
| picious that diabolical delight in that
| sort OF thing has taken possession OF Won
de catechises you with reference to q
screening, asphalt-melting July day some
"ha1 AFTER the manner Of a lawyer cross
examining a salamander.
W course no one ever really expects n
ti ons tn answer to any OF these ques-
luis eons that men ask just to keep their
eonsues In TRIM They are virtually sub
| conscious utterances, automatic speecbas
e anao oetoken the sociability Of the human
animal Very often. indeed, they are NOT
pu. IN question form. but are stated dog
| matlcally, yet with an insinuating circum
p nem accent %Se that suggests: This is the
my advance" ee'
Just sparring for an opening. That ia
what 1t amounts to, after all.
| -.
Two men meet on the street corner whil.
waiting for the car. The brisker one. with
that chatty air Of the man who knows
| many Of the profoundest secrets of ex-
| istence, but is willing to descend to your
level and talk your language, remarks:
Rather cold this morning."
nd 10
| ply: Think so? 1 don't. 1 am charmed
with this kind of weather. Warm FLOODED
not anemic. you see, like some people" He
as an accusation of his Judgment,
What he wants you to say is: Yes:
very cold morning." and then give him an
opportunity to tell you how low the Their
| mometer fell and perhaps how he went
| outdoors at half-past ten to take some
! friends to the car and knew then it was
| gong to be cold, and how Mrs. Blank re-
marked that he would better close the
blinds lest the wind should blow and 1t was
a blessed good thing he followed her sug-
| gestion because
The car has come by this time and you
| step on. ahead of him if you can, in the
nope OF finding friend somewhere whom
you can engage in conversation about some
| thing more thrilling than Mrs Blanks re-
| markable wisdom and Mr.. Blanks faith
full thermometer.
Spare me. by the way. from the man
| who prfdes himself on his weather men,
| ory and who reels Off his recollections like
| an old tar recounting his adventures in
| the whaling days.
/ Now, the summer of 90 was very hot,
| except for a fortnight in July" he will
| say, Il remember it because my father
ln-law sprang good one on me that
season; 1t was the year Of the first Bryan
| campaign. you know. and he was making
lots OF speeches, and the old man said one
morning 1t was no wonder we were hav-
| ing such a hot season. with all that"
You are lucky If you can get away in
| time to dodge pa-in-law's capital crime.
well, maybe you are right" says the
argumentative weather talker. who has
| that irritating manner of the I-forgive-
you controversialist, but really, 1 am
| seldom mistaken in my recollection. and l
| am positive that 1 burned three tons Of
coal more that winter than ever before,
| and attended to my own furnace. too
Oh, welcome sound, that word furnace"
when let fall by the weary wanderer
through the meteorological mazes! 1t
gives clue. 1t offers chance to climb
out. Because from furnace" to machin-
cry is but a short step. and then the whole
world of device and invention lies before
you. The weather topic wh1sks to the rear
like derby hat dropped out Of a car WIN
dow.
-
But Of all weather talk that makes the
| worst is that Of the cheap cynic who thinks
It smart to sneer at the weather bureau.
He looks at the forecast and reads aloud:
Clear and warmer" Then he grins in q
self-appreciative style and remarks: Wear
your overcoat and carry your umbrella.
Sure thing! Never knew 1t to fall"
When the cynical chap happens to hit the
card when the card happens to have hit
the truth, he Is not feazed. He never is,
this ready commentator on affairs. He
gives an extra twist to his grin and says:
Bound to guess right once In a while, Of
| course. just to keep the game interesting.
Wouldn't do to go wrong invariably All
| copper the card and there'd never be any
mistakes"
OF course, this style Of delivery is easy
| to bat all over the lot, II It IL ever worth
while But what Is the use? You can not
persuade that cheap cynic that he Is mis-
t taken and that the weather bureau II
scientific establishment. and knows all about
isobars and thermostats and spark plugs
| we'll who can blame US for getting mixed
up? It IL q tough proposition to talk science
with q common or garden vocabulary. Any
how the truth Is that those people up at the
place on NJ street near Georgetown, where
| the funny little whirligigs are on the roof.
| are the only folks who have q right to talk
| about the weather. They are the real ar
| ticles. and all the rest Of US, who begin
our matutinal maunderings with Beautiful
day.! or Going to rain?" are rank mi
| tators who ought to be ashamed to look
goose bone in the crook.
|
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