davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-28
HE QUOTED ST. PAUL.
Bishops Biunder and the Clever Way
Il Was Corrected.

\ certain bishop of one of the middle
states is described rs Il man who pos
sessed great learning. hut had not the
saving sense of humor In "Reminis-
cenccs of bishops and Archbishops"
Bishop Potter gives an instance Of the
absence of this quality.
1t happened ON one occasion That AN
episcopal election had come up for re
view i'll the house of bishops. and ques-
TONS as To the bishop elect were being
asked aud answered with considerable
op elect in Il Very intimate way was on
his feet and WAS being cuteehised.
when bishop called out, what kind
of wife has cur brother elect"
Ills present wife" began the bish=
op thus challenged. when the middle
state delegate sprang To his feet
"one moment" lie cried do | I'M
derstand my brother Alright Did he
say his present wife and am | TO I'm
derstand that by that phrase he means
to imply that the brother elect has had
Il prev ious Wife: Because, II SO. | can
hot vote for his confirmation. ST. Paul
says. 4 bishop must he the husband Of
one wife
For II moment the house. in which
We're number of bishops who. having
been bereaNed of their earthly part
hers. had supplied their places. sat still
In stunned silence, until n prclate.
whose sense of humor WAS rs keen as
the last speakers was feeble rose In
his place and said, "ho | understand
that the bishop regards the language
of the apostle which he has just quoted
as mandatory
"Gertainlyi" exclaimed the man who
had objected.
VERY well, then, Mr.. Chairman"
said the intcrrogntIng bishop blandly.
..if the bishop regards the language Of
st. Paul. when he Says that n bishop
must lac the husband Of one Wife. as
mandatory should Ike Ia ask him
what he proposes to do with the bishop
Of naming Il bachelor bishop "Whe
hasn't any =
There Was shout of laughter, amid
which the bishop who had objected
took his seal flushed and angry The
humor of lis hlunder MAS wholly un
perceived hN him
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-28
The Woman From Enqland. y

one of the most curious myths of the
middle ages, siugularly false and iiagi
tlous In its character but So persistent
that 1t eventually attained general be
lief. was the story OF Pope Jonn," the
woman pope who was supposed To
have sat in st Peters chair about
midway of the ninth century For
200 Years IN the great cathedral at
Sieha ltnlY, along With the busts of
all the other popcs. there stood bust
of this mythical female bearing upon
1t the inscription, John VIII II We
man From England This bust was
put In It's place by ecclesiastical au-
thorlticS In the Year 400 without pro
test from any source. and In pursu-
ance of the universal popular belief
that the eighth John had indeed been
woman. and this In spite of the fact
that the personal history Of the real
John VIII, who was II man and II Ro
man and the defer of the Emperor
Charles the Bald. was open 10 the
scholars of the world 1t WIS only nj
the beginning Of the seventeenth cen
fury that the bust of the "WoHiaIi from
Englang'' was taken down. Argenaut
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-28
Juvenile Ambition.

Mrs NJ. q Bhcl of Gardiner. Ore,
who received one of the last rewards
of the Carnegie hero fund for her bray
cry IN saving three young girls from
drowning, WAS talking about bravery
the othsr day.
"Do | think that bravery, heroism,
can be cultivated? Yes she sad, "in
a SENSE | do. EIerolsln Is unselnsncss
carried 10 Its highest point and chill
dren can be trained 10 be unselhsh.
There Is only one way To teach them
that though. and that Is the why OF
Kindness Beat aud bully children, and
tllrY won't grow mp unsclflsh, but the
opposite"
She smiled
"0ncc, 1T IN Easter party, | had Il
long conversation with little boy As
helped him decorate Il pink egg
asked, What are you going To do when
you grow up
"Looing up from the egg, with d
frown, he answered;
"'Whip papa.'"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-28
Fixed All RIGHT.

An antomoblist who was touring
through The country saw, walking
ahead of him, man followed by II
dog As the machine drew near them
the dog started suddenly 10 cross the
road and was killed by the car The
motorlst stopped his machine and ap-
proaehed the man. Tin very sorry, my
man. thnt this has happened" he said.
"Wlll 50 fix ltY
"oh, yes" said the man. $50 VIII fix
II. ! guess"
Poeketing the money NJ the eur dis
appeared in the distance, he looked
down 1T The dead animal
II wonder whose dog II was" he
said
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-28
Lincoln's Soft Answer.

One hot summer day when | was In
New York | was invited to Il cold
tea" at the Americas clubhouse Ii
Greenwich. Conn At the clubhouse
was Il gracious company, and among
the guests was Governor John 7. RoH'
nan of New York.
One OF the guests said to the govern
or that he bad noticed President Lin
coin sent an open letter TO Governor
Buckingham Of Connecticut, thanking
that state for having raised its quota
of troops. ultl he asked Hoffman IL he
had ever received such letter for
New York
The governor replied that he had
Not, but had read the letter to the gov
ernor of Connecticut, and IL had dis
turbed him not a little. But soon after
Its publication he had had an inter-
view with Mr. Lincoln at the executive
mansion, and had said: Mr.. President,
| notice that you took pains to send
Governor buckingham letter thank
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-28
O'Rorke, iodcarrier.

O'Rorke had been hodcarrier In
Rochester when he was appointed to
West Point
There is something that sets the heart
beating warmly in the fact that when
his friends of toll learned that he stood
ut the head of his class they Clipped
In some of their hard earnings and
bought him costly, richly engraved
gold watch as II token that they We're
proud of him. He drilled me under
the blooming horse chestnuts OH the
east side of the academic hall, and |
well remember his looking ut that same
watch while giving me Il little rest.
The fall before the Gettysburg cam
paign he became colonel of the One
Hundred and Fortieth New York, and
some time In the winter of 1S62-63 re
celved his wedding cards, and the
brides name was Bridget. Many Il
time since | hive thought that this was
| his boyhood love to whom he had re-
manned stcadfast while honors were
| failing about him. However TINT may
| he, he WIS killed while standing ON a
| large bowldcr, his regiment Immediate
| ly before him and lighting almost at
| the very muZ2lcs of It's guns on Round
| Top.
Meanwhile fumes trumpet has been
/ pealing but not over his grave. Ali,
how tickle she Is. Everybody knows
| of his classmate, Cushing; not one In
thousand of dear old Pat Yet |
AN sure that the spirits of Bayard and
| 1. r.x.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-28
Adantahln.

A city man went into u village store
and asked for pair of socks. size ten.
The clerk said he WAS sorry, but they
kept only one size ana that was twelve.
"What" said the man you surely
don't mean to say that every one In
this village wears tire same size socki''
"Oh. no, sir But If they happen to
be too long they pulls them up at the
heels, and If they are too short they
pulls them down II the toes LIppin-
colts
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-28
Long Distance Jane.

An old farmer WAS skcptical rs to
whether people who were miles apart
could really Talk 10 each other over IL
telephone Wire
One day his wife went to make II
visit To IA distant friend who had n
telephone in her house. During the
afternoon the farmer visited II near
ucighhpr who also boasted "A house tele-
phone aud who persuaded the farmer
To call un his wife IA II little surprise.
Following Instructions he put the re
eeiver IL his ear and. after the usual
prclimiunrics. he shouted
"lIello. Janc
Just then Il flush of lightning caused
by the heat Of the summer day struck
the wire, and he fell sprawlng 10 the
floor The ncighbor was chagrincd
TINT the old nun should meet with such
an accident ON his first trial of tcle
| phone and assured him that such Il
thing would not happen except In ease
of storms. lut the farmer was con
WINGED of the possibilities Of communi
cation, however. and would not tr,
again He Rose to his feet and, shat
Ing his head knowingly, sald.
IFS wonderful; TINT WIS Jane nj
right Ladies' Home journal.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-28
The Meanest Man.

"About the meanesi man ever
knew. said an old time tleVclunder.
was Il man out nj the edge Cf town
that | used to pick cherries for when |
WIS II kid He objected To the boys
eating any of the cherries, and he used
to crawl around under the trees after
we got through and gather MP all the
seeds he could find that We had dropped
charge MS up with that many cherries"
cleveland Plain Dealer
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-28
Would Not Compromise.

A German Traveller who tried to pass
n meal ticket on the train was told
by the conductor that he would have
to pay the regular fare of 30 cents.
The German argued and refused to
pay more than % cents. whereupon
the conductor stopped the train and
put him off.
In twlnkling the traveller ran
ahead Of the engine and started to
walk on the track The engineer blew
his whistle violently, but the irate
German turned, shook his fist and
called ont You can yissle all you
want to, Won't come pack"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-28

Lord Russell. the English ambassador
at the German court, called one day
on Prince bismarck mt the palace OF
the latter, in Berlin. During the con
versaton Lord Russell remarked that
man In the chanccllor's position must
be bothered with II great many trouble.
some callers.
"God knows how true that Is, sighed
the prince.
But you certainly have some remedy
or other to get rid of such people
quickly"
"Oh. certainly" laughed bismarck.
zone Of my best Is that my good wife
comes In 10 call me away on some
preteXt or ether OF course the caller
can't remain after that"
These words were hardly uttered,
when the princess entered and said In
the most harmless way: Otto, 1t Ii
time to take your medicine. DO not
forget 1t.
Lord Russell broke into ringing
laugh and took his leave Mt once.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-28
a Rit Of Kindness.

'"Thc greatest thing" says some ono,
"a man can do for his Heavenly Fa-
thcr Is to be Kind TO some Of his
other children" wonder how II t.
that we are not all kinder than VIZ
nre. How much the world needs 1t!
How easily II Is done. How Instanta
neously II acts, How infallibly 1t IL
remembered How superabundantly
II phys itself back for there * no
debtor IN the world 50 honorable so
supcrbly honorable, ns love. Henry
DrHinHond
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-28
lie Saw Double.

\ Scotch minister and his servant,
going homc from wedding. began to
consider the state into which their
potntions AT the wedding feast had
left them. SANDY" said the minister,
Just stop minute here till | go
ahead Maybe don't walk very
steady and the good wife might re
mark something not Just right"
He walked ahead of the servant fer II
short distance and then asked How
Is IT. Am | Walking straight
ooh. aye answered Sandy thielsly,
we're n rceht; but who's that who's
with YOU Argonaut
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-28
tjo Didn't Inject II.

An elderly resident of Lynn, Mass.
was talking about Mrs. Eddy, the head
of the Christian Science church.
"Nhcn she lived here In Lynn said
the old man, she conducted IL temper
ance campaign for II time. She did
lot Of good, though now and then she
met with II rebuff. The story goes that
"A tramp once asked her for help.
III help YOU, my friend said Mrs.
Eddy. but first you must answer me
one question DO you or do you not
drink beer
"'Why. lady he said, 'ye cert'n'y
don't think squirt It Into me arm
Wild syringe"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-28
Shocked into Generosity.

A small church was In need OF re
pairs, and a meeting WAS being held
10 raise funds for that purpose,
The minister having said $500 would
be required. a wealthy land equally
stingyJ member Of the congregation
rose and said he would give II dollar.
just rs he SIT down lump Of plaster
fell from the ceiling and hit him upon
the head whercupon he rose hastily
and called ont dat he had made mis-
take he would give 800. An enthnsi-
ast present, forgetful Of everything,
called out fcrycntly. 80 Lord, hit him
agaln"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-28
A Frank Admission.

yes; he saved my life"
"And you had gone down for the
third time2"
ooh. for the tenth | had been try
Ing TO attract his attention for an
hour Pttsburg Post
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-28
a Pictorial DELUXE.

Moving" inquired u neIgbbor, as a
furniture van stopped In front Of Ker
lect's house NO, indeed" replied
Kerlect - friend wants 10 borrow
our collection OF souvenir postcards. "
Leslie's Weekly.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-28
The Gentle Hint.

Widow 10 YOU know that my
daughter has set eyes upon your Gen
tlcman datteredj Has she, reallyf
Widow Certainly Only today she
was saying That's the sort of gentle
man | shou.i like for my pa. London
Taller
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-28

She Mar Graham is certainly a
very clever woman. yet she has little
to say. He That's where her clever.
ness comes in she leads n man to be,
lieye that she thinks he Is worth lis.
tening to. Pick Me-Up.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-28

First Old Lady What kind Of a time
did you have at the funeral? Second
Old Lady Wen. I've enjoyed myself
more ut others Life
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-28
Tho Picture Was Good. of cours,

Friend TO artist Well, were you
successful Al the SALON. Artist No.
They rejected my picture. the wretches!
Friend Why Artist How should
know? The oil was bad perhaps Nos
Loisirs
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-28

One day during Il temporary cessa-
ton of hoStilitieS between the opposing
forces n tall. strapping Yankee rode
into the Confederate camp on sorry
looking horse to effect II trade for some
tobacco. Hello, Yank"' hailed one of
number of Confederate soldiers loll-
Ing about on the grass In front of a
tent. That's II right smart horse you
all got there" Think so?" Yes;
whatIl You take for him." "Oh,
don't know" We'll. I'll give you
$1,000 for him." bantcred the Confed-
crate You go to bazes," Indignantly
returned the other. I've Just paid $780,
600 to have him eurried lippincotts.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-28
Had Sufficient Company.


y little boy was heard swearing by
his mother. she rcproved him very
gently, telling him that God was with
him and by him ut all times and knew
his very thoughts. Soon after he start
ed downtown on an errand, and dog
followed him Turning quickly around,
the boy told the dog To go back; 1t
was bad enough to have God follow
Ing him everywhere, let alone II dog
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-28

There Is no better ballast for keeping
the mind steady on Its keel than bust
ness. Lowell
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-28
INTERESTING

JOSEPHINE TURck BAKER. EoiroR.
PARTIAL CONTENTS FOR THIS MONTH
Course in English for the Beginner.
Course in English for the Advanced
Pupil.
How to Increase Ones Vocabulary.
The Art of Conversation.
Should and Would: How to use Them.
Pronunciations Century Dictionary.
Correct English in the Home
Correct English in the School.
What to Say and What Not to Say.
Course in Letter-Writing and Punctu-
alton.
Alphabetic list of Authorizations.
Business English for the Business Man.
Compound Words; How to Write
Them.
Studies in English Literature.
81 A YEAR. SIND 10 CTS. P0R SANPLE COPY
Correct English, Evanston, Ill.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-28

Every one Is bound to bear patiently
the results of his own example,. Phae
drus.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-28

II you don't scale the mountain you
can't view the plaln.-Chinese Proverb.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-28

LOVE sCoKNs DEGREES.
hgh.
The hish h. dttweth down 10 that fair
plane
Whereen In his divine equality
Two loving hcurts may mect. nor meet In
vain.
'Gainst such sweet ieveling custom cries
amaln
hut o,gr it's harsheat uttcrance one bland
SIGH
Rreathed nassieuwlsc doth mount victo-
rious atll.
For Love. ctrths lord. must have his
lordlN VIII.
Paul II. Hayne.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-28
Telephone Notice.

THE MERCHANTS AND FARMERS TEL
EPHONE AND TELEGRAPH COMPANY
have now built their lines into almost all
parts of llunterdon County and are ready to
receive subscriptions for telephones at the
rate of Sl2.0o per year for unlimited service
throughout the county.
The system now Reaches New Hope, Lam
bertville, stockton, Idell, kingwood, Ser
geantsville, limoges Locktown, Croton, Elem
ington, Three Bridges, Baptisttown, Rose
mont, Frenchtown, Milford. Bloomsbury,
Little York, Mt Pleasant. Eyerittstown, Pat
tenburg, Quakertowu, Pittstown, Clinton,
Annandale, Lebanon, Potterstown, White
house and Whitehouse Station.
Applications for telephones should be made
TO Charles y Reading, Frenehtown, N j or
Eugene Wilson, Sergeantsyille, n. j, which
will receive prompt attention
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-08-28
. The y
Scrap Book
Agreed With Him.

\ professor Of botany was recently
occurring III an Iowa city. In his dis
course he attempted 10 show the great
value Of flowers aud their near rela-
tialss'tiR To human beings He con
cludcd hts remarks by saying. "rhe
Lord that made me made Il daisy"
Whereupon some one In the audience
called out, "Nau bet he did,
1t MIS- several minutes before the
professor discovered why every one
laughed
The Brinkley argus., 1907-02-15
2. U. 6. Club Notes.

The J. U, Gs. were entertained at the hospiiaols home oflMiss Virginia Folsom on Tuesday evening last Several matters Of importance were taken up and discussed. after which refreshneh.s were served, and afl had 2 nice time. Those present were
 Misses Lillian Wade. Rose Mo Kinnon, Elina Fiudson, Edith Tabor, Mary Biaett, Gladie Baker, Fannie Brown, Ethel Rambo, Virginia Fol son..
 The next regular meeting will be held at the home of Miss Elrna Eiud son, on Wednesday evening February, 2oth 1907, at which time all mem bsrs are requested to be present
 REPcRTER.
The Brinkley argus., 1907-02-15
fourteel Years Ago In
 Drinhley.

The following items appeared in the ARGUS March 3, 1892 just four teen years ago and was lively news in Brinkley then.
 Mai. Jno. c. Palmer vas in Little Rock Monday.
 Miss Mamie Palmer is back from two weeks visit to friends in Little Rock.
 Attorney Manning, of Clarendon, was admitted to practice in the State Supreme Court Monday.
 Miss Mable Vaughan is home after pleasant visit 10 Little Rock.
 Miss Nellie Cary, Of Memphis, is visiting in town, the guest Of Mrs. James Gum.
 Mrs. Kate Merriman and children. of-Wynne. visited Mrs. Hallie Tom linson. during the past week.
 MT. ]. R. Baxter, of the Baxter Reed Banking Company. Of Ida Grove
The Brinkley argus., 1907-02-15
Stockholders Meeting.

 Notice is hereby given that the an |nual Stockholders of the Brinkley, Helena g. Indian Bay R. R. Co. for F the election Of Directors and for the consideration Of such other business as nay properly como before the meeting, will bs held at the office Of the company in the town of Bsinkley, Monroe County, Arkansas, on Tues day, March l2, 1907 at 10 o'clock A. NJ.
 c. s. Clarke, President. Attest; E. " lrland, Sec Y. Feb. l,i9o7
The Brinkley argus., 1907-02-15
The Arkansas Midland to
 Improve.

The travelling public will rejoice to know that the Arkansas Midland is to have heavy new steel rails laid instead of the little cid streaks of rust. now serving for rails and which have so long endangered the lives of its pas sengers and crews.
 American Lumber O., buys Oak. Office F. o. Block. BrinkIey, Ark. Pays promptly O. inspection.
The Brinkley argus., 1907-02-15
STATIONS 8 SHUI~ ~TS


The Nsill & Blaine Auctian Sale on Feb. 23rd is calculated to wake things up. The entire stock is to be closed out at your own price.
 American Lumber Co.,, buys Oak Office F. o. Block, Brinkley, Ark, Pays promptly on inspection.
 Mr. and Mrs L. M. Hart left Monday fer Woodleaf, N. C., where they will make their. home in the future. Mrs. Hart went up to Brink ley few days before to visit hel father, w. M. Hawkins. and MT. Har' was joined by her at that place. We regret b lose this family as citizens For the past ten or more years Mr. Hart has been superintendent Of the Atkins interests near Clarendon and was greatly esteemed and highly val usd by the late ]. H. Atkins, on ac- count Of whose death MT. Hart makes the change He is 2 fine business man. an excellant manager and | E said that he kept his farm in bstter condition and is affairs mora caosei, in hand than any other man in ths country MT. Hart is a farmer whc has a way of "doing things ans making things move. He thinks vel of the Old North Carolina State bu the chances are that he will be bacS in Old Arkansas ere many years ane when he comes again he will come t stay. Clarendon sun.
The Brinkley argus., 1907-02-15

American Lumber Co, buys Oak Office P.O. Block, Brinkley, Ark. Pays promptly on inspection.
The Brinkley argus., 1907-02-15

Iowa, accompanied by his wife, stop ped off while en route to Hot Springs and spent several days visiting his byothsr-in-Iav, MT. T. H. Hals, of the Surprise Store.
 The private school being conducted by Misses Anna and Irene Morgan and Clara Rose, at the Public School building is quite success we are glad to announce. On the roll of honor for Miss Irene's department, for thsl past month are the names q Ada Sulcer, Agnes Brown. Daisy Wilson and Robert Hawkins.
 We wish 10 thank our numerous friends for their assistance in helping 10 make the Ladies Aid Society a success on last Friday evening es- peclally Dow Whitsoa for his timely % aid with his red fire aparatus- Alsp Messrs LaBelfo, Myers, Jackson and others for their liberal patronage ta- ward 50 charitable cause. MR. ANn Mas. w II. WAcHfHR I'd Whselocs, Secretary and ! Treasurer of thsg Brinklsy lce 'C5, . has moved from Clareadol, his old home, to Brinkley, and from now on will be "one of us.
 ->-. -ap { American Lumber Co, buys Oak. 1 Office P.O. Block, Brinkley, Ark. Pays promptly on inspection.
The Brinkley argus., 1907-02-15

EATFp ~
The Brinkley argus., 1907-02-15

From the effects of t,le burns, the little girl died "Wednesday night Before death came. shs sent word cui in iowa for alIth gooI people to come to sec her and pray for her A
 Charley tlarher. caargsi With carry ing concealed weapons, was tried CT Saturday last and was acquitted Of ths charge.