The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1907-05-19
LrrEnARY corr hRYoGx..
The JOkesuiths, New YOFk Local, Seek {
New Market for ThelF By.Preducts.

taving been at last effected with the Bosi
Publishers Association regarding the mat.
ter Of canned jokes. which had long been Ia
controversy.
In the slang Of the workshop. the gold
brick lie a bright and sparkling wittioiSm
in prose or verse. in special demand for
filing out odd corners and the gaps between
the end of one article and the top Of the next
page in magazines. Gold bricks are a nat
ural b~yproduct Of the jokesmith's trade and
fetch an average market price Of a dollar
each. although some of the Boss Publishers
readily paytwo dollars, and il the gold brick
is accepted in connection with a'suitably
drawn comic picture IN extra dollar Is
added for the artist.
Gold bricks. again, are divided into two
lasses-those which will stand the acid
test and those which will not. The special
phase OF the question discussed was whether
it was advisable to dispose Of the gold bricks
through agencies handling suoh articles
gold brick agencies, in fact.
At the suggestion OF the Chair several
OF the delegates went in turn TO the black
board and inscribed gold bricks cull9d from
the foreign press and adapted TO the Amer
loan market. From the collection Of speci-
mems 90 made a few are reproduced:
1t Is said that modern discoveries in physi-
oloRy prove apples are an excellent brain
food, the phosphoric acid which they contain
restoring vitality and energy.
Ileavensi There lie nothing new in that
theory. 1t was solely with a view Of giving
Adam new ideas that Eve plucked the first
apple mentioned in history.
AceIebrated actress was In the midst Of her
toilette when the maid interrupted her to
ask:
What color will madame have her hair
today"
Black. / am going to a funerali"
A notorious connterfeiter on trial before a
German court:
Prisoner, hive you anything further to
say in your defence before sentence is passed.
Yes, your Honor. ] wish to remind the
Court that on all pieces Of the queer Of my
manufacture the portrait OF the Kaiser 10
most fiattering."
It was announced that these and other
gold bricks had been freshly translated
from famous European publications. and
that the delegates who had picked them
out at odd moments from tho scrap heap
we're deslrous OF disposing Of them at q
net price per gross. Z. o. b. Reports Of the
subcommittee on the investigation Of
gold brick agencies were then called for.
in accordance with instructions from
the Chair" said a representative Of the
German Press Club, Il entered into CORE
spondence with the literary trust Of Indian
apolis. Ind. Having omitted 70 use either
Office or club stationery the trust had no
means Of knowing that have been max
ing a poor but honest living at the joke
smiths trade for twenty years, and It sent
me some beautiful near typewritinS circu-
lars describing the huge emoluments Of
journalism as a profession, and sought TO
teach me by mail how to become either
a journalist, a poet. an advertiser g man
or a playwright.
"A small fee would be charged in advance,
but as l began to get on to the wrinkles
OF the craft they would give me occasional
assignments and buy my work at q fair
market nrice, so l would be paid while
learn ing.
Il wrote again to inquire their current
rate for gold bricks, and was informed
that they only bought from those taking
their regular courses and paying in advance.
Then they began to food my mail with
pamphlets Of testimonials; application
ship and other follow up letters. go l wrote
inuuiring how much they would charge to
teach me how to write plays like Theodore
Kremer and Hal Reid.
They undertook to teach me in q year
FOR SIS in advance. | have written again.
saying that on second thought l would
rather manufacture plays like those Of
George Bernard Shaw, but as yet | have
received no answer
1t is my privilege TO report an inter-
view" said the delegate from Long Island
City, with the ,gentlemanly manager OF
the Consolidated Literature Company OF
New York. ] found him in the third story
front hall bedroom, which he and q stem
by the installation of three chains. q desk, |
a file cabinet and recommendations from
eminent writers.
Il did not waste his time with questions,
but took such literature as he had ready
and bowed myself out. The Consolidated
Literature Company lie described in its
own booklets as representing all OF the
periodicals and publishers Of this
country, gathering material for them from
oil sources, Fees for placing manuscripts
tween 1000 and 10000 and s. for each
manuscript, but 1t will give It's SER
vices 10 two short poems for the fee OF 81.
Besides. the c. l.; C.. has professional
under the direction OF a literary
gives helpful criticism at q minimum
Of 81 and does typewrting. There is
in its prospectus. however, to In
dicate that the c. l.. G. sells gold bricks,
and think we may therefore eliminate it
from consideration
~ vas assigned TO ~is!: the Hurrah Syndi-
said the Brooklyn Press Club dele
gate. This syndicate, according to the
booklets which ! brought away on my
first visit, charges IS per annum for men,
20 per cent. on sales and promises
at least one assignment a month to all who
are accepted as members.
shortly after my visit | received a lovely
letter with my name written
by typewriter in which a sad tale wa
OF the syndicate being obliged TO
turn down orders for lack Of material, and
this as a reason why / should send
N my application at once. There's q note
On the application saying that 10 must be
accompanied by cash, but ] suppose the
syndicate wants material more than money.
Il went out and was informed that the
..yndicate was selling its gold bricks 10 other
syndicates and deducting the 20 per cent
commission.
+'Have You got a pulli'
mo said the manager.
'"Then why can't ! send in the gold brick
myself, and take a chance, thus saving
hat 20 per cent, 10 say nothing OF the SSf
''You can said the manager; but sale
IN commission is all we pretend 70. and
It's an irksome job. as you know
In view OF the facts ascertainAd by