Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-01-02
HE CELEBRATES CHRISTMAS.

o"o! exclaimed Policeman Flynn
W.
AS Policeman Barney Flynn differs
nttle-at least, in one respect-from
the average man of limited means, the
approach of Christmas found him
troubled, not to say pessi1aistic He
heard the customary talk about Christ
mas; he saw the Christmas ADVERTISE
ments in the papers and the Christmas
goods in the shop windows; he read
the accounts of Christmas plans for
feeding or otherwise remembering the
moor; and the only effect it had on him
was to make him jingle the "luckv
half dollar he carried in his pocke>
and shake his head dolefully.
Its tn da-ay iv tn rich" he said
TO himself. "'Tis tn time whin We
wa-ant twinty thousand dollars fr to
do tn Fright thing be all tn good
people We know. IT'S tn da-ay iv give
an ta-ake, an if ye can't give ye're
ashamed f'r to ta-ake, an there We are.
T was diff'rint in tn OF days whin
l was la-ad, but now livery wan
who ha-ands We out a two-bit sca-arf
Expects f'r to ha-ave as good or bet
Their BACK from We, an tn ray-sult
is we all 60 BROKE givin' things that
w no great use to amy wan, but tn
shtorekeepers that sells thin. IT'S
f'r me to shtall tn good woman be a
little ta-alk iv har-rd times befoor she
splnds tn rint money buyin' FRED ties
an six-fr-a-nickel see-gars be tn
box"
With this object in view Policeman
Flynn entered upon a systematic CAM
palgn to discourage Christmas shop
ping, and he did it with his usual Dip
lomatic ability.
Eye can't impriss a thing on tn
mind iv woman be sayin' it wanst
an lettin' it 60 at that" he told him.
self. I'VE must ding dang 1t into her
head without lettin' her know what
ye're doin'."
So he began to drop incidental re-
marks about poverty and hard times,
with casual suggestion from time to
time to the effect that there would be
no Christmas in that house. Later,
whenever the moment seemed propi-
tious, he aired his Christmas views
more at length, and even illustrated
them with occasional stories. All in
all, he congratulated himself that he
was accomplishing his purpose with
exceptional cleverness and strategy.
Think " tn bargain days that fol-
lies Chris-mus!" he remarked one day
at breakfast "'Tis tn wa-ay iv tn
world. Whin We ha-ave no money
tn lads in tn shtores is thryin' f'r
to ha-and things out to We at liss than
ha-alf tn cost to ma-ake thin. Ohio!
they're sma-art min, those fellies. All
tn year ye're sayin' to thin that they
niver thruly sell annythin' at Hss
than cost, an tn day afther Christmas
they come back at ye an say: Well
prove to ye now that we can do that
very thing be offerin' tn goods at 1iss
than cost whin ye're not in Shape Fl
to buy Thin tell We, Mary, tn wise
wan is tn felly that plans f'r to ta-ake
thin up whin they ma-ake tn blum. u
The logic Of this seemed unanswer-
able to Policeman Flynn, and q few
days later he supplemented it by re.
minding her that the year before she
was NEAR dead r thinkin' iv tn things
ye c'u'd ha-ave an comparin' Thin
with tn things We did ha-ave, all be-
cause iv tn ba-ad habit Nv goin' BROKE
wanst a year." Next, after a reason
able interval, he told her about Cullen,
one of the men at the station.
9TH only throuble with Cullen" he
said, was that his hea-art was 30 big
an RESPONSIVE that he c'u'dn't button
his visit over it whiniver amy wan
OF annythin' appealed to it. He had
a good head, too, but t was nawthin'
beside iv his hear-rt. His head was
always givin' him tn fright tip, but
his hear-rt w'u'dn't Fave him listen to
it. That's why tn byes at tn station
has f'r to dodge him regular afther
Christmas. He come to- me on tn
twinty-sivinth da-ay iv last Day-cim-
ber-I ducked him on tn twinty-sixth,
KNOWN tn kind iv la-ad he was, but
he cornered me on tn twinty-sivinth
an he says to me, he says, Barney,
he says, Il ha-ave up to tn house. he
says, a bright green nick-tte, an a
red nicktie, an a polky dot nicktie
an two pipes, an a box " see-gars
an or-sold pair Nv suspinders, an
some shippers, an fut-rist,' he says:
an the good woman do be havin' q
sort Nv dolly thing, an silk pitt
coat, an some shtockins with pale
blue clocks on thin, an pink SHIRT
waist, an a little statoo " Vanus fl
to put ON tn kitchen shelf, an a
wather-caraffy, an new taypot,' he
says, an tn childher has a fred
sca-arf, an a shled, an a pair iv
ska-ates, an toy gun, an little pa
throl wagon. an some blocks, an q
shteam mime Thin he signs an
says: Barney, I niver intinded Fl
{ 70 do it, but We know how it is ye-er.
silf. Will We lind me tn loan iv a
two-dollar bill SOS we can ate till tn
mkt pay-day?' That's tn wa-ay " tn
] ma-an with tn big hear-rt, Mary, an
so I've had me hear-rt ossifed. :, e.. b.
5 This naturally had its effect on Mrs
Flynn. 9TH poor ma-an," she said
to herself ..te do be ha-avin' hazard
I time iv It over tn money, an It's II
me to help him out. I" 80 she glad
dened his heart By proposing that they
ignore Christmas entirely. AS that
was the very idea that he hSA IN mind
+, along, he readily acquiesced, And
z