The Washington herald., 1907-10-13
By HELEN ROWLAND.


daintily lifting her spoon from the sticky
mass In the chafng dish and regarding it
with a quizzical little frown. 'Isn L that
just like matrimonyr'
IF you mean that it's an awful mix
Ter mystery" began the Mere Man.
leaning lazily back on the Oriental divan,
where he could study the Bachelor Girls
forearm with professional appreciation.
And you can't possibly tell how 1t will
turn out until it's finished" interpolated
the Bachelor Girl with a sigh.
Nor whether you ought TO throw it
aside or 20 smile and swallow It II it's a
failure" agreed the Mere Nan sympa-
thetioally
And whether it's a failure or not, de-
clared the Bachelor Girl, with a decisive
flip Of the spoon, depends entirely On
what effect the cheese and ale or the man
and woman viii have on one another"
There's only one way to solve the
problem" announced the Mere Man,
cheerfully blowing a smoke ring and
watching il curl out over the Bachelor
Girls pompadour, and that's TO try il.
Take me for Instance
Mr.. Porter"
"As an example, hastily put in che
Mere Man. Look az the effect you have
ION me when you are making a rarebit and
your hair is rufied and your sleeves are
rolled up and your checks
That's only one effect. interrupted the
Bachelor Girl quickly, "and there are al
ways two 10 matrimony-'
The Before and After ?" suggested
the Mere Man.
"No." retorted the Bachelor Girl. stir
ring vigorously. ''the expected and unex-
pected. the good and bad the VI and
down. ! don't suppose" she added, blow
ing out the alcohol flame and carefully
dIshing the rarebit onto the crackers in
the little blue plates. that It ever would
occur 10 a man 10 consider the effect of
marriage On-On "a woman, for instance
From the masculine viewpoint there is
only one side TO the question. Yet matri-
mony is just Ike a seesaw---
"Where?" cried the Mere Man, putting
down his plate. Give me a microscope
In these days
There are lots Of them.' declared the
Bachelor Girl, sweeping the dishes into a
heap on the table and beginning To scrapg
the plates only, OF course. one OF them
! is always a little more in love than the
other 1t doesn't take a poet 70 teach us
that two people never love one another in
exactly the same degree, Yet a man al
ways thinks that if he can only get the
woman he wants, he can teach her to love
him.
1T ought to be an easy task" put in
the Mere Man, considering the searcl-
/ ty-'
7 beg your pardon, Mr.. Porter
"The scarcity Of nice men, finished the
Mere Man. hastily.
''The trouble is" pursued the Bachelor
Gin, haughuly ignoring the interruption
4 that by the time he has succeeded in
making a woman care for him man has
usually lost interest in the game and be.
gun TO console himself with-anothel
woman BY the time she has walked up tC
/ the fact that. after all. he is the best sht
could have done. he is beginning 10 won,
+ der if he couldn't have done better. BY
I the time she has begun 10 listen to hi.
/ step with pleasure he is beginning to steI
round the corners for his pleasures. By
I LilE AAt4tC AtT tAno Mni liiEN AAiE ll1t4lt 81
/ love In her the fire has some out In him
and they are merely following one an
other round the revolving door"
'Oh If you mean that it's fun of up,
and downs and that you never know
when you are going 70 fy into the air ol
drop with bump" began the Mere
Man sentendously.
Il mean, said the Bachelor Girl. jab
bing a cracker severely, that the effect:
on the two parties always are precisely
| opposite and exactly in inverse ratio. DID
you ever see a woman trying 10 reform q
man?''
Heaven forbid!" murmured the Mere
Man. plunging his fork into the rarebit
Il had to watch a man hanged once. and
accidentally witnessed an automobil,
smash-up; but I'm not really morbid
or"
"weu. did" declared the Bachelor
Girl, twisting a string Of rarebit rounC
her fork. 1T was awfully funny.
Funny The Mere Man stopped il
the act of raising a mouthful Of yellow
gluten.
Yes" replied the Bachelor Girl, with Z
soft ripple of laughter. BY the time sh,
had made him give up poker and billiards
and taught him to go to church on Sun
day she had learned TO play bridge whis
and acquired a taste for cocktails. Th'
| seesaw had tipped the other way. yOl
know But, of course she added
Ihastily, that's an unusual case"
"Oh, don't know" unused the Mer'
Man rehectively. THE jolliest chap
ever knew married a woman with meIan
cholia- BY the time ne had cured her TIL
effort had got on his nerves and worn OF
him so that he was a hypechondriac Will
a chronic grudge against the world an,
humanity in general While she wa
growing Stout and hearty. he grew thh
and lost his hair. It's the reflex action,
suppose, he added with a sigh. But,
and he looked more cheerful, ''all peopl
who marry aren't exactly opposite.
But they're never exactly alike" re
Joined the Bachelor Girl, and even whel
the seesaw doesn't tin up at an angle. It.