davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1907-02-21

Richard Johnson, is confined to the
house with an attack of rheumatism.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1907-02-21

Mrs. Baruch was on the sick list
last week,
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1907-02-21
THE MARKET

The current market prices prevail
Tor the following articles of produce
The Jasper news., 1907-09-26
GAMES OF sHARPERs.
Some Of the Methods Used for Secur.
Ing Money Dishonesty.

Millions upon millions of dollars are
fraudulently taken from the pockets
of the people year after year through
the operation of confidence men. The
schemes used by these men are numer-
GUS. Nearly all are based upon the
fact that the average person is always
willing to take the best of bargain.
During the past few months swim
Oilers have been operating in different
parts Of the country, and their method,
while a modification of an old swim
ding game, has some new features
worthy of notice. Their usual proceed.
ure is to locate farmers who are not
well known to local bankers and loan
men. They approach the farmer and
under pretext of seeking to purchase
farming land, manage in some way to
secure his signature. This is general
ly done by inducing him to write
letter, or to sign some statement.
Once the signature is secured, ficti-
tious deed to the farmers land is pre-
pared and this is fixed up in such a
manner as to show the seal of some
notary or other officer Then with
this deed the swindler is in position to
negotiate loan upon the land. This
game has been successfully worked in
number of western states.
Residents of agricultural districts
should be continually on their guard
against the signing of receipts or any
kind of contract which may be pre-
sented to them by strangers. Within
the past year some smooth swindlers
have succeeded in securing thousands
Of dollars on fraudulent notes, secur-
ing from farmers, who were foolish
enough to take for trial washing ma
chimes, refrigerators, ETC., and to give
their receipts for the same. These re-
ceipts turning up later as negotiable
notes.
The writer of checks cannot be too
careful in filling in the amounts. Tho
favorite methods of the check receiver
Is to insert after the words Six"
seven" "eight" or mine" the letter
"y" or "ty" and change the ciphers in
the check accordingly. Thus it can be
seen that a check written for eight
dollars. by the addition OF the letter
~" can be made to read for eighty
dollars and the changing of the
amount, II 1t be in numerals. by the
addition Of cipher, makes the forgery,
when well executed. hard to discover.
The Jasper news., 1907-09-26
root the broken door hinge or the
worn out desk. =

root the broken door hinge or the
worn out desk.
It, is the dollars that are unneoes-
sarily sent away from home by you,
and your neighbor. and your neigh
boris neighbor that decrease the value
OF your, and your neighbor's, and
your neighbor's neighbor's real es-
tate. That makes the school fund
grow less year after year. That forces
the discharge of the competent teach
er for less competent one. That re.
duces the standing of your schools
in the educational system Of the coun-
try.
Work 1t backwards, send your
money for the things you need away
from home instead Of spending 1t at
home, and the system that builds vii
lagos out Of cross roads, and cities out
of villages, that increases the value of
your real estate and permits you to
write your wealth In four figures
where previously three figures were
enough, and you will make OF the
thriving little city but village, and
of the village but cross roads.
Do you not believe, Mr. Citizen, and
do you think your neighbor and your
neighbors neighbor should believe,
that 1t pays best to keep the dollars
in the home community? Keep the
system moving forwards, help to
make city Of your village. Boost
your towns interests and you boost
your own.
WRIGHT A. PATTERSON.
The Jasper news., 1907-09-26

such an extent by petting his adjec-
tives that he thinks he has Shake
speare on a hot skidoo for the sand
dunes, and when it comes to that po-
etry he thinks he can make Hank
Longfellow beat up a tree.
Bunch and Alice joined the local
club of course and when Bunch read
some of his poetical outbursts at
free-and-easy one evening, society got
up on it's hind legs and with one voice
declared my old pal Jefferson to be
the logical successor to Robert H.
Browning, Sir Walter K. Scott, Bert
Tennyson, or any other poet that ever
shook quill.
Bunch began to fancy himself some
well, rather! ..
When Peaches and went out West
chester way u few weeks ago to pass
weekend with Bunch and Alice all
we heard was homemade poetry.
When Bunch wasn't ladling out i'm.
promptu sonnets Alice was reading
one of his epics or throwing a fit over
perfectly lovely" rondeau-what
ever that may be.
1t was clearly up to me to hand
Bunch good hard bump and wake
him up before that poetry germ began
| to bite his arm off.
Bunch told me that in response to
the urgent demands of his Westchest.
er society friends he contemplated get
ting out little book of his poems and
this was my cue.
] figured it out that the antithesis of
a book of poetry would be a cook
book, so l hustled.
In q few days had the book framed
up; a few days later it was printed,
and before very long Bunch's West
chester society friends were grabbing
for what they supposed was his fever
ish output of poesy
This is what they got:
BY BUNCH JEFFERSON.
(From Recipes Furnished by Famous
| Friends.)
In presenting these Cuckoo Recipes
for the Chatting Dish to his friends Mr.
Jefferson wishes it distinctly under
stood that all doctors bills arising
from a free indulgence in any of the
dishes suggested herein must be paid
by the indulgee, and he wishes to
state further that while this book may
contain many aches and pains nc
ptomaine is intended
MOCK BAKED BEANS (from a re
cipe furnished by Ex-Mayor Dunno. y
Take as many buttons as the family
can afford and remove the thread Ado
pure spring water and stew gently til
you burst your buttons. Add a little
flour to calm them and let them siz
zle. Serve with tomato catsup or mo
lasses, according to the location yot
find yourself living ON the map.
quart bottle of Pommery on the sid,
will help some.
MOCK HAM AND EGGS (from ,
recipe furnished by Carter H. Har
rison) Place the white of newspa
per in the frying pan and then cove
the center with an italian sunse
picked fresh from magazine picture
This forms the basis of the egg and 1
tastes very realistic. Be sure to ge
fresh newspaper and a fresh maya
zinc edited by fresh editor. other
wise the Imitation egg will be dull en-
The Jasper news., 1907-09-26
Athletics in English COLLEGES.

The first number of the new Oxford
and Cambridge Review has its inevita-
BILE article on athletics in the univer.
stiles. One gets from it, however, a
new impression of how far behind the
procession the English really are. The
writer objects to the time spent in
preparation for the university boat
race as excessive" But what is his
idea of excess? "It has become GUS
tomary for both the Oxford and Cam
bridge crew to spend at least a week
on the upper reaches of the Thames
at Henley or Coolham." Tell it not
In New London! But the English are
coming on. They are waking up to
the truth that athletics is the great
pursuit of the undergraduate, and
must dominate even his hours of sup
posed study, declares the New York
Post. To talk athletic shop" all the
time is becoming as common in the
universities of England as in our own;
and the danger of allowing any intel
lectual interest to crowd out absorb
ing attention to 'the record" and to
competitions in games and sports, is
now thoroughly understood. The true
attitude was neatly expressed by one
university coach, when he said: "You
can't row, because you aren't always
thinking about it, Now, when you're
in lecture, press your heels against
the floor and think of bringing youi
body back with the feet firm ON the
stretcher."
The Jasper news., 1907-09-26
TOWN BOOSTING TIPS.

The visitor who trips over your
broken sidewalk will not have very
high opinion of your town as place
OF business.
The home town is the best place
for the boys II you will make the
home town prosperous. Keeping the
money at home will do this. It
means home opportunities for your
children.
Don't drive around the hole in the
road week after week. Get your
neighbors together and fix 1t.
The nome market for the farm prod.
ucts is the saving clause In our sys-
tenn Of government. Take away the
la your community. Not necessarily
home markets and the farms will soon
become Improbable and yalueless.
!; No city mail-order house will ex-
tend credit to you when times are
hard. or arops fail. Could you con,
slstantly ask It Of your hems meg.
L Z. sitii5s ~
The Jasper news., 1907-09-26
Not a Comfortable Home.


"Even in palace life may be lived
WELL" declared the great and good
emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Even in
palace, too, it may be lived happily
but that significant little even belongs
as truly to one statement as to the
other; for to live either well or hap
PLY in a palace is to do so in the face
of special obstacles, and is indeed
rare achievement. By just so much
as palace Is palatial is it unhomelike
"a place where only the most care
full and persistent cherishing can pre-
serve those home virtues that often
flourish so sweetly and readily in the
simplicity and coziness of common
home. Little wonder is it, then, that
palace.dwellers are often glad, after a
brief trial, to escape as soon as they
may. Millionaire after millionaire
builds his palace, only to weary of it.
One great mansion after another Is
closed, leased or sold especially city
mansions, where there is not, as in
the great country estates, any refresh
ing adjunct of natural beauty to offset
the smother of artificial luxury. Few,
indeed of such houses remain long
enough in one family to gather tradi.
tions and associations; few are in the
same ownership even enough brief
years to enchain the affections of
single generation. Besides, however
artistic, however truly magnificent
private palace may be, does such a
setting befit the private life? For
public purposes, doubtless, beauty
cannot be upon too majestic a scale;
for libraries, museums, colleges, halls
of Justice and assembly let artist and
architect compass their utmost But
wisdom, in building a home, will de.
sire the beauty Of homelikeness first,
and all other beauty, whether OF
rich or simple detail, afterward and
subordinate. Not long ago, relates
the Youths Companion, a vast marble
palace was pointed out to young girl
as the place to which the multimil.
lionaire owner was about to bring his
bride, whom she had known at col.
lege. She viewed it with sincere dis
may. "Oh, poor Marion!" she cried
Must she really live there? What a
pity she didn't marry a husband who
could provide her a comfortable
home!"
The Jasper news., 1907-09-26

Gov. Floyd of New Hampshire
doubts whether the summer boarder
business has added to the profits of
the majority of New Hampshire farm
ers, because, he says, it has helped
create the unrest and discomfort
which are fatal to good farming by
spreading the idea that the summer
boarder business is an easier and
more genteel way to get living than
by having crops or cattle. When a
farmer gets that into his head" he
adds, "and mortgages his farm to fit
his home for boarders and neglects to
plant and hoe because he expects he
will be busy waiting upon boarders, in
nine cases out of ten the mortgage
will sooner or later eat him up" But
isn't 1t the usual New Hampshire idea
that the women can take care of the
summer boarders while the farmer
rpEs the farm2
The Jasper news., 1907-09-26
John Henry
on
Cbafin6
Dishes
By George ". Hobart

(Copyrght, lWb Dy u. w. Dllnngnam Coo
pulled a wheeze on Bunch JEFF
ferson a few weeks ago that made him
sit up and scream for help. Bunch is
the Original Ace all right, but it does
put dust on his dignity to have any
body josh his literary attainments.
Bunch can really sling a nasty little
pen, but he isn't anybody's John w.
Milton.
Not at all.
He can take bunch of the English
language and flatten it around the
edges till it looks quite poetic, but
that doesn't make him George o.
khayyam.
Not at all. -..t
The trouble with Bunch is that his
home folks have swelled his chest to
The Jasper news., 1907-09-26
d. Now ada a few slices Of

inslpid. Now add few slices Of
picked linoleum and fry carelessly for
20 minutes. Serve hot with imita.
tion salt and pepper on the side. This
is a daylight dish, because the sunset
effect is lost If cooked after dark.
HAMBURGER STEAK (from a re-
cipe furnished by Walter L. FISHERY
Always be sure 10 get fresh Ham.
burger. There is nothing that will
reconcile a man to "a vegetarian diet
so quick as an overripe Hamburger.
They should always be picked at the
full of the moon. To tell the age of
Hamburger, look at its teeth. One
row of teeth for every year, and the
limit is seven rows. Now remove the
wishbone and slice carefully. Add
Worcester sauce and let 1t sizzle.
Add pinch of potato salad and stir
gently. Serve hot and talk fast while
eating.
IMITATION BEEF TEA (from re-
cipe furnished by Chief of Police
Shippy). y).-Take the white of an egg
and beat it without mercy. When it
is insensible put it in the teapot and
add enough hot water to drown 1t.
Let 1t drown about 20 minutes, then
lead the yolk of an egg to the teapot
and push it in. Season with small
pinch of paprika and let it simmer.
IMITATION ROAST BEEF (from a
receipt furnished by ], Ogden Armour.
Draw from memory the outlines of
COW and remove the forequarter.
Place the forequarter on the gridiron
and let it sizzle. Now brown the
wheats and draw one. Add boiling
water and stir gently with an imita-
tion spoon. After cooking two hours
try 1t with can-openeT If 1t breaks
the can-opener, 1t is not done. Let 1t
sizzle. When the supper bell rings
serve hot with imitation pickles on the
side
IMITATION ROAST TURKEY (fur-
nished by Reginald DeKoven) Find
a copy Of a Thanksgiving day newspa-
per and select therefrom the fattest
turkey on page 8. Now, with few
kind words coax the turkey away
from the newspaper in the direction of
the kitchen. Care should be taken
that the turkey does not escape in the
buffers pantry or fly up the dumb
waiter, because the turkey is very
nervous animal. Once you get the
turkey in the kitchen lock the door
and prepare the stuffing. The best
stuffing for turkey Is chestnuts,
which you can obtain from any all-
thor who writes musical comedy. Now
remove the wishbone carelessly and
make wish. Add "a, multiply by 10
and sprinkle with salt. Then rush
the turkey over to the gas stove be-
fore it has chance to change its
mind. Let it sizzle for four hours and
serve hot with jib cocktails and Phil
ippine napkins on the side.
MOCK BEEFSTEAK (from recipe
furnished by Billy Pinkerton) Care
fully remove the laces from an old
shoe and put them away, because they
can be used for shoe-string potatoes
just as soon as the potato trust gets
started. Beat the shoe with "a ham.
mer for ten minutes until the tongue
stops wagging and 1t gets black and
blue in the face. Then put in the fry
ing pan and stir gently. When it be-
gins to sizzle add the yolk of an egg
and season with parsley. Imitation
parsley can be made from green wall
The Jasper news., 1907-09-26

paper with the scissors. If there is
no green wall paper in the house
speak to the landlord about it. Let 1t
sizzle. Should you wish to smother
it with onions now is your chance, be-
cause after cooking so long it is al
most helpless. Serve hot with hatch
ct on the side. II there are more
than four people in the family use
both shoes.
IMITATION IRISH STEW (ffom a
recipe furnished by Seumas MacMan-
us).-Remove the jacket and waist
coat from a potato and put In the
saucepan. Add three quarts of boiling
water. Get a map of Ireland and
hang it on the wall directly in front
of the saucepan. This will furnish
the local color for the stew. Let it
boil two hours. When the potatoes
begin to moult 1t is sign the stew is
nearly done. Walk easy so as not
to frighten it. Add a pint Of rhubarb
and serve hot with lettuce dreseing.
If the lettuce isn't dressed 1t ought
to be ashamed of itself.
haven't seen Bunch since the book
came out. But know that he will
get back at me good and hard some oI
these fine days.
tcopyriSha lsQa. by q, w. pilllnshem Co,
The Jasper news., 1907-09-26

chant when you send your money to
the city during the days of prosper
fly?
Encourage small factories to locate
by means Of bonus, but by keeping
the children in the home town that
they may become factory employees,
and get home opportunity to raise
in the world.
Do not begrudge the money paid
for taxes when it is used for read and
town improvements. Such an ex-
penditure lis like bread cast upon
the waters-it will return many fold.
The Jasper news., 1907-09-26
Roof Gardens for Berlin.

1t ia proposed to introduce roof
gardens in Berlin. A good many doc
tors and professors are doing all they
can in favor of the scheme, and are
agitating for the gardens. particularly
in the narrower city thoroughfares.
The idea would not be difficult to
carry out. the houses being mostly all
of one height. and 1t is already pos.
sible in many parts to walk from one
street TO the pext along 3 good broad
root track.
The Jasper news., 1907-09-26
THE sCH00LH0UsEs
WHAT THEY MEAN TO THE PEo.
PIE OF THE COMMUNITY.
AND HOW THEY ARE BUILT
It is the Money That stays at Home
Which Makes Good Ones Possible
"A Simple System That
Works.

Your schoolhouses. Those Of the
town and those of the country dis
tricts. You know what they mean to
you and to your children.
They represent the difference be-
tween ignorance and enlightenment.
They mean to your children the differ
ence between signing their names
with mark or in writing. They
represent the difference between the
civilization of the twentieth century,
as this country knows 1t, and the bar
barism OF benighted Asia or Africa.
You want the schoolhouse, do you
not?
You would willingly make sacrifices
to keep 1t, would you not?
You glory in the free educational
system of this country, do you not?
But, Mr.. Citizen, did you ever sit
down and consider carefully what
it is that makes possible the school.
houses of this country; the school
houses that stand as beacon lights on
the tops of thousand hills; the
schoolhouses that carry cheer and en-
| lightenment to the hearthstones Of
the homes of a thousand valleys?
1t is the taxes that you and your
neighbor, and your neighbor's neigh.
bor pay into the school fund year after
year. Is 1t not?
And why do you pay It?
| Because you own property-real es-
tate, bonds and mortgages-and be-
cause that property Is valuable.
What makes your real estate val
liable?
1t is the prosperity Of the commu-
nifty. AS the community grows and
prospers the value of your property
increases. AS your property increases
In value and you write your wealth
in thousands instead Of hundreds, the
amount you pay into the school fund
increases. When the school fund in
creases the old building gives place to
new and more modern structure, In
which your children and your neigh
boris children secure their instruc-
ton. And, again, the erection of the
new building but adds more to the
value Of your property.
1t Is an endless chain system that
builds villages out of cross roads,
and cities out of villages.
Who are you, Mr.. Citizen, and who
is your neighbor and your neighbor's
neighbor, whose contributions to the
school fund make the schoolhouses
possible? You, and your neighbor
and your neighbors neighbor, are the
| 90 hA
the blacksmiths. You are each and
every man who go to make up the
community in which you live, and 1t ls
only when you work collectively that
you accomplish results-that you build
up new schoolhouses.
And how shall you work collec
lively?
BY simple system of boosting ono
another. You, we will say, have
oats to sell-your Ieighbor buys them
of you. He. you will say. has dry
goods. to sell-you buy them of him
1t is this system Of mutual help thai
makes the town grow into the city
in the town and in the community sur
rounding it. that builds new school
houses.
The dollar that is unnecessarily sent
away from home never bought sc
much as nail for schoolhouse. never
put shingle on Its roof
But the dollars that are unneces
sarily sent away from home send bach
to the community which they lef
only ruin. 1t is these dollars thai
prevent the replacing Of the leaking
The Jasper news., 1907-09-26
The Reason.

"In this settlement" said the Bill.
vile farmer, I'VE call all the literary
fellers we kin ketch 1eadin'' authors,
because as rule they're powerful
handy at leadin' mules to water."-At-
lanta Constitution.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1907-07-06
MAKE A 6LUFF.

# there isn't any pleasure
Waits for you besides the way.
II there's not a thing to grin at
liz your journey day by day,
II you've got excuse for kicking
And for stirring up a row,
Don't you do it. Don't YOU do 1t.
Just be happy, anyhow.
Just be happy. just be happy;
Take the fiddle and the bow,
Smuggle II against your shoulder.
Timber up and let her go.
I'LL the world is fun of music
And there's joy in every string.
Till you get all outdoors laughing
And you make the echoes sing.
It's a duty you are owing
To the world to shake your feet
ANA to lift Your voice in sinsin
Ifl the music fills the street:
IL the world is dark and gloomy
And You haven't got a friend.
Its Your duty to dissembie
Its your duty to pretend.
II YOU meet the world a-grinnin'.
Then the world will grin at you,
You can laugh the clouds 10 flinders
III the blue sky glimmers through,
you just pretend you're happy.
NTH your whole heart in the bluff,
Ihen. almost before you know il.
lou'H be happy sure enough,
The Houston Post.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1907-07-06
Oldest Library in London.

Lincoln's Inn contains the oldest
library in London. it having been orig
inally built in 1897, in the reign Of
Henry VII. In 1876 the library came
into possession of all the manuscripts
of Sir Matthew Hale, who had be-
oueathed them to the inn The inn is
also famous for its beautifEl old
Gothic wall, which still fronts Chan.
Gerry Lane.-London Law Clerk.