davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-09-08
Peter Potter, Business Privateer
IsNafeNCs1a 1assNrsN-TsNS'Sss BY HENRY M. HYDE

Sue the company. Sue the individual stockholders. Cut prices some more. Give 'em h-l."
 Olonam went out of the offices of the International and Universal and dropped in presently at the private room of the senior member of a big firm on the stock exchange.
 'I suppose you bought me that Interna- tlonal and Universal stock on the break today?" he said.
 Yes" the broker answered. We got 1t at the low point. Ten thousand shares you had sold short show you a profit of six dollars a share"
 Well, you can buy me twice as much now and hold 1t for a ten point rise," ordered Oldham.
 Jacobson, chairman of the board of di- rectors of the International, came in General Manager Graham's office shortly after President Oldham had gone out. Jacobson represented the solid financial interests in the directorate. He had been put in his present position to watch Oldham and see that he did not make a stock market football of the stock of the corporation. He listended to what Gra- ham had to say and to the advice given by Oldham and sat a few minutes after wards, saying nothing and artistically blowing smoke rings through his nose.
 q see," he said finall Well, you just 
 the Independent over to Lawyer Thomas and I'll go and see him. There isn't any great hurry about starting them. I'd rath- CT have our stock stay down where 1t is now for while anyhow. I'm tired of these sudden ups and downs When we land on the Independent company the next time I want to put them clear out of business. I'm tired of these stock jobbing four-fushes. What do you think about turning Peter Potter loose on the job?'
 "I'll go and see Porter tomorrow" said Graham, If you say so. He's expensive proposition, though, you know"
 Well, so are these flve-point drops in our stock You just let Potter go after the Independent people, And whatever you do don't say word about it to a soul Oldham musnt suspect it'
 The office boy brought fin Q later edition of an evening paper. Jacobson picked It up. Well, he hasn't wasted any time' has he?" he said presently, pointing out to Graham an interview with President Old ham, in which the latter declared war to the knife on the Independent com pany "I have given orders" President Oldham declared, Ito have suits started for infringement of our patents and large damage against the officers and direc- tors of the Independent company. The International and Universal Match corpor- ation will follow the most vigorous course possible in protecting the interests of It's stockholders"
 well" said Jacobson shortly, nobody on Ne street will pay any attention to that anyhow, until either you or I con firm 1t. And that's just what we won't do. It's about time the old man was left holding the bag
 Next afternoon Graham went over to
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-09-08

| intimately I had been assoctated with them during the most active periods of their life, I thought 1t no more than an act of kindness to show their mem ory some respect. and 1 was going away to order flowers when the mus cular party quit feeling of his bieeps and seized my features and abruptly undid them. I caught glimpse of myself in the glass. Never before did I realize how much the human face divine could be made to look like an old-fashioned open fireplace.
 There were several things I wanted to say. My mind was full of thoughts burning for utterance. l wanted to tell him I knew the sort of soap he used wasn't going to agree with me. One reason I began shaving myself was because I never could digest the soap my barber favored. But brand he fancied was Peaches Melba to the way this here dentists thumb and first fin- ger tasted. I wouldn't care to say as to the little finger, because he had left 1t outside for some reason or other.
 My remarks lacked distinctness. They sounded like the last pint of suds III d Sluk. hlbuL III til6 illuulo Ol tiiSiiA he grabbed up a crochet needle with a redhot stinger on 1t and 1abbed it down the tooth as far as my suspender buttons.
 "We had words then. But he put his knee in my chest and otherwise calmed me and told me he hadn't hurt me at all; he said 1t was my imagina- tion. suggested doing something to appease the imagination before it got violent, but reckon he didn't hear me. He was calling to the operator in the next room to come and see typical example of triple distilled, prime old waited exposed nerve. So the Second
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-09-08

ent with a barber shop But the young man who was reading the Hammer Throwers' Mon thly in the front room told me to come right in and have 8 seat I took dislike to that young man from the very first. I think I caught him splitting on his hands while I was taking my hat off. Anyrow, he was too robust for a dentist He ought to have been a boss canvasman. AS for me, give me a frail and ladylike person the next time I'm going to have any interior decorations done 10 me personally. The kind that look like they live on breakfast-food and bird seed and take nouri5hment cut of a medicine dropper will be preferred. A big. strong lad ought t) be ashamed of himself to be striking women and chil- dren in the face with a small but brutal drill when the boilermabing and scene shifting professions are needing brawn the worst way.
 Well, this muscular athlete wadded my palpitating frame into the hideous embraces of a red plush chair, some thing like the one they use at Sing Sing, only tis done quicker up there and with less suffering to the con demned. One one side of me was quite a display of open work plumb ing and on the other a very tasty ex- hibition of very desirable tools. think 'tis so arranged that no matter where the hunted gaze of the victim strays he'll be seeing something at tractive.
 q also took notice of an electric din gus about large enough, should say, to run a cross-town car. You'd be aston ished, Hops, to see what strides have been made in the denting business. In my early childhood I recall that the dentist travelled from place to place.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-09-08
o.c~oco'o'o'o.o" "c.c.Ss.c.e.o.o'o"c.e
He Discusses Painless Dentistry


Grave-Digger rested his utensils against the palate of his latest prey and came In.
 As near as I could gather from hearsay, not being an eyewitness my self, one of them harpooned the nerve just back of the gills with a nutpicl1 and pulled it about three inches out of it's retreat and the other took tack hammer and tried to beat out its brains. Any time he missed the nerve he hit me; it must have been fine prac- tice for him. The nerve wrapped It's legs around my breast bone and hung on. I understand that they had quite a pleasant and profitable time.
 When I recovered from the swoon the interior of my features was all cluttered with props. Somebody had thoughtfully hung a rubber drop cur tain across my proscenium arch to keep me from seeing what was going on behind my own senses, but I think they were setting the stago for the sawmill in The Old Homestead.' 1 could taste several different kinds of machinery, also bed of mortar and a bucket of hot tar which some careless stage 1and had left sitting In the wings
 My stalwart friend, the Sinewy Assassin, now invaded me as far as the elbows. He started up a scrol, saw working a connection with q steam winch that had hot box. and began turning out a stack of white chips, with an occasional red, when the saw would slip.
 At this 1uncture the tooth blew up with loud agonized cry On again recovering consciousness I found scenes of great excitement reigning. All WAS confusion. My mouth seemed to be full e. things that I had no recol
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-09-08
1.E>.c.f>.E,.cI.<>.<3.<e-sC-C.scs The Case of fhe IndepeH-
 dent Match Company

the office of Peter Potter. It was located on the nineteenth floor above the ground In the mysterious and lonely jungles of the great Astoria skyscraper. "P. Pot ter, Real Estate" was the simple sign on the office door. Before now a real estate sign has covered a multitude of sins.
 An old colored man In buttons took Grahams card into tho Inner office into which Graham was presently ushered Peter Potter was standing in the center of the room when he entered Potter greeted his caller with a nod, but did not offer to sit down. He was a tall, slender man, with long. lean, clean shaven face and broad shoulders. Although the two were alone in the room, Graham talked in a low tone, inaudible few feet away As for Potter he stood sideways to his caller and listened, saying nothing more than Ives" or "indeed'' at intervals and looking steadily out of the window, where above the towering roofs, the signal smokes of the savages of commerce waved and f1uttered in the breeze from the lake.
 As Potter listened he rocked to and fro, from heels to toes like some great bird about to take flight for its distant eyrie His eyes were round and bright and fierce like an eagles, and when he shrugged his broad shoulders and sunk his head down between them the resemblance was till stronger.
 "so that's the situation" Graham was saying "The Independent people seem to have plenty of money. And I can't figure out where they get It from"
 "Oldham has plenty of ready cash, hasn't he2" asked Potter casually.
 "Oh, yes" answered Graham. "he's got money all right, but I should think he'd hardly dare"
 "Darel my dear boy" interrupted Pot ter. "Why it's just part of the game"
 Well anyhow, we want to turn the case over to you. How soon can let me know? I'll call up tomorrow. if you please"
 Gall me up?" questioned Potter. DO you think I do business over the tele- phone? If you'll drop in about o'clock I may be able to tell you whether I'll undertake to handle the case"
 Graham looked around the great bare room. There was no typewriter no busy bookkeepers. no telephone booth none of thethe usual machinery of business. Moth ing was in sight but Potters flat topped desk, unllttered with papers, and two wooden chairs. The working plant of Peter Potter, business privateer, was plainly located under his derby hat
 "Tn call at tomorrow" said Gra- ham as he left the room-
 Peter Potter sent his colored man out with instructions to buy dozen boxes Match company.
 Be sure and get the Independent matches" said Potter and get dozen boxes in the original wrapper. l must have them in the unbroken wrapper"
 Potter took the bundle of matches home with him that evening to his bachelor apartment on the northside. He went
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-09-08
Fish Had on Rubber Collar.

From the Boston Herald.
 Captain Joe Sullivan, of tho Gloucester fishing schooner Flora J. Sears. is trying to solve a lsnotty problem concerning the habits of the much -despsed doghsh. Out on Georges the other day, one of hi, travis brought up n "doggle" that ac- cordng 10 Captain Joe, WAS either trying to clothe himself or had been fin ths hands of some crank with unusually strange notions. This particular doghsh wore collar around its neck, but it was not the leather kind with big brass spikes It was thick elastic band. such as are used in lawyers office To bind papers together. The fish weighed about five pounds ana was as frlsl1y as might be ex- peeted of ans fish that objected to com Ing out of tho wet.
 Some fishermen believe that the elastic band is n part .of the system of tagging fish employed by tho government iN an effort to carry a study of their move ments. Frequently tagged fish are caught but the tags are not like the elastic band.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-09-08

pendent company at Manotowish. At the same time he had himself interview In an apparently reluctant way on tho subject. He had had hopes, he said, that in the Independent company the match trust might find a successful rival. but It was unfortunately apparent that the product of the Independent company was not to be relied upon. He went on to tell the story of his experience with the five car loads and the protesting letters from re tail merchants who had bought the matches.
 Copies of this interview, marked, found their way into the mails addressed to the main offices of the International and Uni- versal Match corporation. to It's officers personally and to every Jobber and whole saler In the state who dealt in matches.
 As one result the stock of the Interna- tional and Universal corporation went up ten points over night That sudden rise cost President Oldham fifty thousand dol lars and made him furious with anger
 The same day he got a letter from his representative in the Independent com pany,
 We have got to have at least one hun dred thousand dollars in cash at once" , he wrote. Tor tho last fortnight our travelling men have not been able to get single order from a jobber or a wholesaler. and we are deuged with kicking letters from retailers all over the three states. Of course, our goods are just as good as they ever were and soon as we discover what kind of job has been put up on us we shall be able to go ahead again. Meanwhile we've got to have the cash to work on. l can't imagine who put up tn Job on us or how 1t was done. Can you throw any light on the sub1eotf
 Oldham thought a minute Then he struck the table with his fist. 'Ill bet Afa lDff fa of h,ft Cf Ia not seem to quiet his apprehensons. He he said with an oath. The reflection did knew something, as did most men in large way of business, of Potter's meth ods and of hls unfailing success. Like all successful gamblers. oldham prlded him self on his ability to resist throwing good money after bad. Presently he called up his Independent manager on tho losg distance telephone
 q got your letter" said Oldham. and I'm all through, won't put another cent I havn't got 1t to spare. You'll have to do tho best you can without me-
 The Oldham hurled out and bought International and Universal stock for a raise.
 Within the week the Independent Match company went into the hands of a re- ceiver. The day after it's suspension was announced General Manager Graham of the International took the final payment of fifty thousand dollars over to Peter Potter.
 T wish" said Graham, "that you'd give mo an inlling of how you worked it?"
 Nope" said Potter Not word. It's 8 professional secret. What would be- come of my business if 1 told everything I knew2'
 So Graham went out unsatisfied, and Potter. leaning back in his desk chair, In dulged in a little self-glorincation
 Any fool could have got up a eompli- cated plan for fighting the Independent" he said with chuclSle, 'but it took q genius, by Cad, to think of anything go simple as sputtipg i've carloads of their matches on lee Tor thirty days"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-09-08

sometimes pulling tooth and some times breaking a colt. He practiced his noble art with one pair of iron forceps and set of brass lnches, and he gave a man the same kind of treat ment he gave a horse, only he tied the horses legs.
 But nowadays when they prepare to sink a shaft into your inermost soul by way of an unfortunate incisor, it is necessary to start up neat parlor dynamo, which makes a cheerful sound, like cranking an automobile, and provides an appropriate and time ly accompaniment to the song of the official canary bird. Iris a lively and tuneful creature. the canary, and sooth- ing to the nerves. All dentists keep them. When a man has the back of his neck on a headrest that's almost as comfortable as an anvil, waiting for a dark stranger to climb inside of him as far as the shoulder pits and begin disinterring a tooth that has roots extending back behind the ears, the same as pair of old-fashioned spectacles, it is a source of great pleas ure to him if a small yellow bird wipes it's talented nose on the finbone of a late fish and dashes into a melodious burst of twenty-two hundred twitter- twitters, all of them being twitters of the same size, shape and color Moth ing could be more pleasing at such a time than to hear the canary singing. Except to hear the canary dying. Iris a good thing they keep 'em cagedl
 Well, anyway, the moment the cleo trical plant started in to grooming It's eigbt-horsepower lullaby, I got well. All of a sudden the tooth felt fine. I never knew 1t to be feeling finer. The dog must've killed the woodchuclk and then committed suicide. Seeing how
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-09-08
Race Responsibilities.

hdCS SpOnSlDllltiCSs Joel Chandler Harris in Uncle Remus's
 Magazine for September.
 "Ef lynehnf done any good whatsam- ever, it'd be another thing But 1t don't do any good an 1t works harm all round. It makes brutes of good men; 1t lowers. as you may say. the thermometer of religion, an civilization. an law an order
 Tt aint only the white folks that's got responsibilities not by a long shot" said MT. Billy Sanders of Shady Dale.
 Then you think the negroes have some of their own?' some one asked.
 At this MT. Sanders became quite sol emn.
 Responsibilities! why they've got more than a shad has got bonesi" he declared,
 "'Thar's q whole passel of stun they've Iarnt from the politicians that they've got to wipe outn th'r minds wi wet rag.
 They've got to barn that the race as whole must stand on Its own hind legs; that if has to to make it's own way. an work out it's own salvation.
 They've got to larn that the race as out the'r criminals as the white folks arc to weed out the'r'n, an they've got to stop givin' plcnics. parties an glad-to-see- you receptions to the niggers that grad uate out'n the chaingang
 They've got 10 quit belieyin that white folks hunt down black rascals on account of the'r collar. an they've got to begin for to think of themselves as men an wlmmen WI somethln' to do in the world. instid of playn' as the wards of the nation, wi the troops to be called out when Sary Jane the washerwoman. has the tOOthp-achp 70
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-09-08

directly to the kitchen and put away
 Be sure and leave that bundle where l have put it until morning." he said to his Chinese butler.
 Next morning, after a leisurely break fast, he went out into the kitchen and got the bundle, untouched. He carried 1t into his living room. He took @ match from the box and struck 1t on the side. It did not light. He tried 1t dozen more. Not one of them would light. He emptied the box of matches onto sheet of white paper and laid 1t outside the win dow on a case originally made for print ing photographs. where the sun fell full upon ftall morning.
 Then he lay down on a couch in the front room and started to re-read "The Three Guardsmen," for the twentieth time. Toward non he reused himself went to the window and took fin the paper on which the matches had been ex- posed. The paper felt hot to the touch. so fevid had been the rays of the sun.
 He tried to strike dozen or moro of the matches. Not one of them would work. Something resembling a smile passed over Potters face.
 4cs perfectly simple" he said
 That evening at o'clock Graham, general manager of the International and Universal was ushered into Potter s private office.
 Potter was standing up. leaning forward. over one side of his desk. his right elbow on its top and his face supported on his right hand. He was staring out of the window and with his right forefinger beat ing regular tattoo against the side of his beak-like nose.
 T shall want twenty-five thousand dol lars down." said Peter Potter, presently. And fifty thousand dollars more when the Independent company goes into the hands of a receiver And 1t will take at least ninety days, perhaps longer. to, get results"
 That's big fee, MT. Potter" said Graham.
 So are the chances I take" Potter an- swered If it wasn't to teach Oldham a lesson, wouldn't care about fooling with 1t at all.
 And are you sure about itT'
 Well, now look here, if you have any doubts you'd better handle the thing yourself"
 The next day Jacobson. chairman of the board of directors of the International and Universal corporation, drew s25O00 from his personal account, and Graham took the money over to Potters office.
 And now I don't care to sec you or hear from you until the failure of the In- dependent company is announced" said Potter. Tt will be three months from now at the shortest"
 The same afternoon Peter Potter took the train for Milwaukee. where he put up at leading club. During the even- ing there came into the library where Potter was sitting tho junior member and active manager of a large jobbing firm in the grocery line. He did not seem to be especially glad to see Potter, nor did the latter display any surprising warmth fin greeting the wholesale merchant. For all that the two men sat down side by side and talked together for an hour over cigar and a highball or two.
 '1f you follow my directions" Potter said. 'Tts perfectly safe There isn't a chance against you. Here's five thou sand down and tho minute you get all
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-09-08

lection of having ordered. The handy operator was just getting a small pat ent posthole digger coupled Up. He was deciding that she was the kind Of a tooth that should have been pulled n the first place. lie expressed his regrets that a f0Uth wnich had seer1ed so open should have deceived him.
 And then, Hops, he pulled her. She made desperate resistance, but he was a strong man and he pulled her. From time to tfme ne harvested sections of gum and jawbone, and, with splendid little utensil shaped slightly like can opener, only sharper, he loosened all of the roots north of the floating ribs. It was thorough job. He spared no pains Anyway, if he spared any didn't notice It. You should have been there to hear her give the death rattle when he made the final heave and broke her loose from my spinal column. He held her Up for me to see.
 ""Tis she-the tooth, he says, smiling kindly.
 "'You surprise me- I replied, faint ly. gazing at Exhibit A. I thought 1t was a china cuspidor that the janitor had been sighting.
 But he was right. Twas tho tooth. He collected the fixed charges for stumpage and salvage and then he de- posted my still breathing remains on the doorstep. and came away with a feeling in the side of my jaw like a vacant lot My tongue keeps on going over there now to see If 1t can reeog- nlze the old place by the holes where the foundations used to be. never knew before what a basement there was to a tooth"
 And yet they've got the nerve to call 1t painless dentistry" said the bell-boy