The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-04-07

asks his wife. What's up?' he says.
Plenty is up. and the party tonight is
ruined. Billy Bradleaf, the cut-up of
the Four Hundred, and our only
genius, has took the measles and can't
come. Here / have gone and ordered
the monkeys and Billy is the only one
that knows how to manage monkeys at
party. Here I have gone and ordered
the trained and educated pigs, and
Billy is the only one that can handle
them so as to make a special parlOr
function out of them. Here is Billy
got the measles and no one else in the
Four Hundred able to provide a pleas
ant evenings entertainment, consisting
Of tricks. games, readings from the
worlds great authors, anecdotes both
wise and witty. golden words from the
greatest pulpit orators, and, in fact,
everything necessary to enliven the
evening home circle, the church enter
tainment or the social event. Where
can l get another man to suggest and
carry out one thousand and one ad-
mirable parlor tricks and games. in
Guiding charades, games of skill,
Sleight of hand. etc to amuSe the
guests the way Billy Bradleaf does?
At that Mrs Nandergould threw up
her hands and the tears came into her
eyes. 'Reginaldo,' she says, the party
ID hilON IL di1os SOY = titt
1 and tomorrow morning the papers Will
be full of the shame Of the Wander
gOulds. Where. oh, where, can ] find
d man that knows everything from
how to care for monkeys in the draw
ing room to how to play bean bag?
Where can I find man who can quote
the prose and poetiCaI gems Of all ages.
the lives of all the great men from
Adam TO Roosevelt. with The dying
words Of them that is dead. as well as
converse on one thousand and one sub
iects with the educated pig and hOrSe2
Where can I find such a storehOuse Of
helpful hints and novelties for all Oc-
casiOnS Of mirth, pleasure and relaXa
tom
"Well. ma'am-" said EIiph' Hewitt,
slowly unwrapping the book he held,
when Mrs. VandergOuId heard this
she turned on him. 'ReginaldO,' she
says. there is no such man in the
world except Billy Bradleaf. who has
the measles 1t is because his head is
a real encyclopaedia Of knowledge and
compendium of literature, science and
art that he is one of the Four Hundred,
even though he was but an agent for
DOOlittle's Waterproof Sausage. Oh,
would that some man. even though he
was but this humble plumber, on whose
foot you have but recently stepped,
had such a knowledge as him into the
Four Hundred, and our party would
I be a success
when l heard that" said Eliph'
! Hewitt, turning to the allegOricai
| frontispiece of his book and caTessing
| it lovingly, q wTiggled out from under
| the tubs, and stood up and bowed to
Mrs. VandergOuld. Madam I said,
| my grandmother was a Van Dolsen.
and though / am but a plumber, she
4 was once "A millionaire in her own
/ right. but she is now dead, and all she
/ had to leave to her affectiOnate grand
/ son was a book. But 1 said, that
/ book was copy of Jarby's Encyclo-
! paedia of knowledge and Compendium
of Literature. Science and Art, with in
/ formation on one thousand and one
/ subjects. twenty thousand references in
| all. from A to z. Yes, lady and gent,
/ [ said, L am but an humble plumber,
and l have been plumbing your wash
/ tubs. but I have studied this noble vol
/ ume, and I have learned it by heart
| from How to Do Tricks. Sleight of
/ Hand, Play Five Hundred PaTlOr
/ Games, Charades, Games of Skill etc,
/ to the Care and Study of Animals, Wild
and Educated. including Monkeys,
/ cats. Pigs, Horses and all the others
! 7 have learned from it How to Pro-