The Manchester journal. [volume] (Manchester, Vt.) 1861-current, 1907-05-23
Tbistles.

- LACY h6ANp - "ftss 49,
Fare What, 0scr nsensy 70 "efsAD
whsa would ny wife tay'
--Yaylsy n1sn, great boast q NJ.
ysys speaking ~ be ,hsnss. Does bel
Yes, osly uofe tfogaehiag.
DO you believe in iht ssrNifhi q
She hslesi' Noa much. l,cos bow eiifn
dressfnAlsrs and saAlor Are zen -
her bslis.
Young Fashionable seems % ca
,..e much Admiraiaon anoag his GEL
Tia, dsdlsh fcllov waA hin q his hiisr
ego, isr', hci Yes, only exaggerated
The average ~onaE. said bfuin'
hell, has but ono idea. and iisi = dress
Hal. sEofioa MArrysii. ny ~'is DSR.
ally has vi loaa dozen IDEAS, and
they're dresses.
--scrAsgs Well. thank heaven. you
have neser sren me run after people
who have money NAggs--No, bot
I've seen people run alter yon because
you didni have money.
Why are you looking 40 down.
hearted when you have good health
and plenty ot money! Well, you see.
when everything 10 10 prosperous aud
oomtortAbls 81 sure sign something
Ia going - happen.
II have just received lstief from
Tom, said Mrs. Scwlywrd, and be
sends me 5000 kisses. Save them, dear,
replied her mother. They wall serve
" keep up the average when be writes
W you ten years from now.
Your daughter Is skillful perform.
or on the piano. is she mott Yes. an
swered Mr.. Cumrox. The way she can
play for hours without getting an ear
ache or sprained wris, proves TO me
she's uncommonly expert.
--Fira Stout Lady TO second stout
IAdy) Well. dear. I've tried practical.
~ everything 10 reduce my sire. but
nothing seems TO make me any thin
per. Marjory treneetively, watching
her kittens Eat some flies.
$50 Johnny is almost IN high school,
Yes; he's had splendid marks in whit
iling and bcadwork and baking. powder
biscuits. II he were only little more
careful in sewing squares J shouldn't
be bit afraid about his passing.
"A man who was charged at the
willcsden police court with intoxica-
ton and using bad language pleaded
guilty 10 the frs, part Of the charge,
adding, As TO the language, ! know
nothing about ii. because Pm very
deaf
Cook (eniering the drawing room
Mistress, will you be so kind ms TO
play the piano little' Mistress--Play
Abe piano What fort Cook-Well,
you see, ma'am. my young man Is IN
She kitchen, and he's awfully fond of
music with MS supper.
The Friend-And You and George
have excellent appetites for every meal,
What kind Of appetizers do you nsei
The Bride = Kisses, dear. And we
have the grandest dessert. The Friend
--Graeiousl And what does il consist
Off The same. OF course-kisses!
Your husbands experience with
lhe races would not indicate that your
husband knows very much about
horses. Charley knows great deal
about them. answered young Mrs.
Torkips. only, like many other men OF
superior knowledge, he is not very
successful finaneier.
--Yon used TO wear a Vandyke beard,
she pouted. don't like you without
il. The next time you come to see me
wear one again. He looked at her re-
proachfully. DO you know how long
il takes 10 grow respectable Van
dykef he asked her. No, said she.
How longi About six months, he an
swered plaintively.
Some people. said DIR. Wallace
Wood Of the University of New York,
carry utilitarianism so far that the
value Of beauty is forgotten and moth
ing appeals TO them but usefulness.
They are like the barber who was cut
hing young mans hair, when his
shears made an unfortunate snip. His
victim leaped from the chair. Oh, he
cried. in pain and dismay, you've cut
a piece OF my ear off, Sho, returned
The barber soothingly, don't carry oD
40. boss. 'Taint huff TO affec' your
beArin'.
General Funston, at a dinner in
Fan francisco, cited an example OF
great presence Of mind. In the height
OF the disorder here. he said, mob
was lootina big grocery when band
IL soldiers arrived ON the scene. One
thief had seized two hams and was
about 70 make of with one under each
arm when he ran plump into an officer.
Placing the hams in the officers arms,
he said pcrcmtorily; Take care Of these,
my man. or the first thing you know
they win be stolen.
There is state senator in one OF
our western states whose bnrly appear
ance might possibly lead one 10 mis-.
take him for lsboring man, but who
IL ms sensitive A. a woman 10 all nn.
pleasant circumstances. He happened
one night 10 be standing on the side.
walk outside Of an undertaking estab.
lishmen,. conversing with friend ON
some importAn, political matter. One
Of the employees OF the shop approached
them and said, Say, will you give me
. lifi with caskc,' The senator shud.
dered and said hesitaiingly, IL there
is there anything III Sure. came
The hearty reply. there's couple Of