The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-01-11

e.
Umbrellas in the kitchen sink:
OF course: 1 left it there to drip.
My .overcoat? Downstairs. think;
! wanted you to sew a rip"
It's natural she should complain;
NJ, t desa: indeed. there's ample ground
I'm always leaving things around
Chicago News.
Bride Kisses Four Hundred.
Immediately after Miss Loda Me
man, of 1415 North Fourteenth street,
became the bride of Jacob CHASER,
last night, she had to give away 400
klsses: The ceremony took place in
Druid's hall. and was according to the
old Jewish custom.
AS soon as the minister had finish-
ed saying the words which married the
Two young persons, the 400 guests
swarmed toward the altar The newly
made husband barely had time to take
thu first kiss before his bride was be-
ing saluted oscuIatorialIy by another
young man. Young and old, little and
big, everybody got his or her kiss.
When the exercise was through the
bride was naerly exhausted, but BEAM
fngly declared that if there was any
person who had not received his due,
she stood ready to see that the omis-
sion was corrected.
Both bride and bridegroom tasted
for twenty-four hours preceding the
wedding.
To celebrate the breaking of their
faSt they drank of the nuptial wine, a
wedding present-and dashed the
broken into a thousand pieces.-St.
Louis Dispatch to the New York
World.
Not Barrel Organ.
1t had hidden fair to be grand con-
cert. One thing the chairman was
anxious about was that the accompan-
ist had not put in an appearance. The
concert was delayed for fifteen minutes
but still no accompanist turned up
The chairman, at his wits ends, to
know what to do, got up and said:
Ladies and gentlemen, I regret to say
that Mr.. Snyth, our accompanist, has
not put in an appearance Will # he TOO
much to ask if any lady or gentleman
would mind undertaking that RESPONSE
bic position?"
After few minutes a rather burly-
looking gentleman from the back of the
nail said he wouldn't mind having a
cut, Whereupon the chairman, after
arranging the music and things, took
his place in the chair.
The new accompanist began by look
ing behind the piano, under the music,
round the sides-in fact, everywhere
The chairman wondering what was
am1ss, asked him what he was looking
for; whereupon the burly-Iooking gem
tleman, looking up at the chairman in
amazement, replied: II can't find the
ndlep'-T1t-Bits.
An III Wind
T. p. O'Connor, the Irish leader,
began brilliant afterdinner speech in
Philadelphia in this way:
must confess that I dread to !
make : afterdinner speeches. At the |
most sumDtuous dinners. even at such |
| dinner as this one. if 1 knew that at |
he end I must make a speech, am |
1 have no appetite, I find lit
lie to admire in the best efforts of the
,hef
In truth. gentlemen, can readily |
imagine Daniel, If he was at all of my |
mind, heaving a sigh of relief as the |
ions drew near to devour him-heav- |
ng sigh of relief and murmuring:
Well, if there's any afterdinner |
peaking to be done on this occasion, |
Il least it won't be done by me- -
Philadelphia Ledger.
An Inviting Proxy.
A pretty American duchess sat in her |
irawing room, and her little son. the |
marquis, stood beside her in lace and |
1elvet.
A peer, entering. bowed over the |
duchess white hand, and then said to /
he little marquis:
will you give me a kiss, my dear? ?"
The boy, shrinking behind his mother,
aid bashfully:
Mamma will give you one"-Argo-
laut.
In Their Own Coin.
One day two ladies hired a cab and
'aid the driver his dollar for their ride I
With the following coins: twenty-five
ent piece. three dimes, five ffve-cent
'ieces, and thirteen pennies
After looking at the miscellany for a
moment, the driver smiled broadly, and |
sked, whimsically, We'll, well. now.
nd how long have you been saving up
or this nice little treat today ?''-Har-
er's Weekly.
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
EFrom the Chicago News1
1t takes a soft man to spread himself.