Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1907-09-27
A tiunl.5,,e U'7C'o Josh.

before opening the Williams'~private
bank Uriah Heep was humble be-
cause he was a hypocrite and had an
object in view Uncle Josh was hum
bic by nature. He was humble aud.
trusting and honest and sympathetic.
How such man could get along flnan-
cially was a wonder to everybody, but
somehow he slowly got ahead of the
game and finally announced that he
would open bank. There was no
flourish about the announcement. It
was in keeping with his record-very
humble. He admitted that he knew
nothing whatever about the banking
business, but would open bank more
for the accommodations Of his neighbors
than anything else. 1t was predicted
that he would be made the victim Of
all sorts of gum games and that he
would lose his last dollar within year.
Workmen prepared a building, and
the bank was opened. It was presided
over by Uncle Josh.
The first attempt on the bank was
VITA a forged check. Uncle Josh said
he was sorry-very sorry. He wanted
to oblige, you know-he'd get up at
midnight to oblige-but really, now,
he couldn't see his way clear in this
thing. Would the stranger call again?
Would the stranger go home to a boil
el dinner with him? Would the stran-
ger ride out to his farm with him and
:--i::2 bis opinion on how the grass crop
va~: coming on?
Then thc:e came a man with a lot
&c mining IoHds who wanted to put
them up as collateral for loan. They
were quoted at 80 and almost the
same as governments. Uncle Josh
looked them over and, although he had
70 daily paper to refer to, he placed
the true value at 4 cents pound and
stt;c::@@..; to it-stuck to it in his humble
way. He was real sorry-as sorry as
il thc stranger had fallen off the roof
OF IL barn and broken a leg. He
thought all mining bonds ought to be
worth at least 10 cents pound, but
he couldn't help it if they dropped to 4,
Would the stranger take half day to
go huckleberrying with him? Couldn't
they arrange to 60 fishing together?
If the stranger was fond Of the an
Gent, there was ruined old saw.
mill down on the banks Of the river.
and Uncle Josh would 60 along and
point out the moss grown points of
interest.
Then there came man with q pock-
ct full of snuff. He had piped off the
bank and discovered that Uncle Josh
was there alone from II to 1 while the
nephew went to dinner. He called
to see about loan. He got Uncle
Josh interested. He got close to him.
He out with handful of snuff to
throw into the old mans eyes and
blind him and then rob the bank, but
somehow the snuff went wrong. Then
something hit him, and he lay down.
Then some one battered his head on
the floor and rubbed snuff in his eyes,
and all the vaingloriousness was TAX
en- out of him. Uncle Josh refused to
let him be taken to Jail. He was sorry
TOR llm-truiy sorry.
The people who had taken Uncle
Josh for an easy mark because he was
humble soon began to realize that
there was difference. He had shown
that he could take care Of any money
1ntrusted to him, and the institution
began to flourish. 1t got through it's
first year without the loss Of q penny,
and some folks were very much disap-
pointed about it. One of these disaD-
pointed was tough citizen of the
county named William Hayes. Will
liam, who was generally called Bill to
distinguish him from William the Con-
queior, had read the lives Of the
James and Younger brothers and other
similar literature and longed to dis
tinguish himself.
He kept an eye on the Williams
bank. He thought it sin and a
shame for a humble and innocent old
dozer like Uncle Josh to open a bank
and tempt the wicked, and he finally
decided to remove the temptation and
benefit by it himself. He would thus
GAAAA WV OAAN0 Will OAC SlOAC. he Gull
suited with other philanthropists Of his
ilk, and at noon of one September day
as a confederate was in the bank talk
ing with Uncle Josh five whooping,
disguised men rode into Jacksonville
on horseback and made for the bank.
Uncle Josh was a humble man with
good ears On him. He heard the
whoops and the clatter. He was talk
ing about taking a mortgage on a
farm, and without breaking the con-
versation he touched an electric but
ton, and the door Of the vault closed
Then as the FIVE riders came rushing
into the bank he touched another, and
the outside door closed after them.
There was a third button. He pressed
that and went down out Of sight with
section of the floor. He was sorry to
leave the six men there, very sorry.
but 1t was his time to go. II they
could find it con1enlent to call some
other time he ri:bht not be so pressed.
They talk Of it yet In that part OF
Illinois. There were six desperadoes
safely Gagged In the bank and rYno1o