Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1907-06-07
DRIFTwOOD
BY LUE z. VERNON
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The hand that rocks the cradle
May rule the world, but still,
The hand that keeps things going
Is the hand that pays the bill.
She: What's the difference be-
tween dimple and wrinkle?"
He: 20, about thirty or forty
years."
The bagpipe may tickle the Scotch
man but it is not in it with the fid-
die" for the man born down in Ar
kansas.
1t is now claimed that Noah chris
tened the ark The Arkansas for it is
said that he looked out of the ark
and-saw."
1t is strange to me why some peO-
pie just bubbling over with happiness,
will 60 to the trouble of writing
verse about it.
Seattle is growing quite metropoli-
tan, to be sure. We notice this ad.
in daily paper:
Wagner's All-American Band"
Crash the cymballs, toot the horn.
Over in the Isle of Pines the gov
ernment has been raising money by
giving Sunday ice cream festivals.
They can now raise some more by
buying an oyster and giving an oys-
ter supper.
Old gentleman Ito boy cleaning his
shoes)-" Why do you wear those
green glasses, my boyY'
BOOtblack-" Cause 1 put such q
splendid shine on the gents shoes it
hurts me eyes to look at it,"
1t seems that lawyer is some
thing of carpenter. He can file"
an argument, make an entry, set up
a case, frame an Indictment, empan-
mel a jury, put them in a box, bore a
court, chisel a client and such things.
If there is any word more disagree
able than another it is the word
"genteel. 1t is a word that sug-
gests patched poverty and old china
dishes with nothing in them. It is q
word that women like, but that men
abOminate.
1t is the men and women of un-
common attributes of character who
move the world to better things.
Their origin as to birth, is absolutely
immaterial, their individual nobility
and strength of character Is every
thing. Born to the purple or evolved
from the slums, it is the man that
counts, and nothing more.
Freddy, the son of well-known
minister, had misbehaved, and, to
punish him, he was not allowed to
eat at the family table. A small
table was set for him in the corner of
the dining-room. When his dinner
was placed before him, Freddy said
very solemnly: Lord, l thank
Thee that Thou hast spread a table
before me in the presence of mine
enemies"
He sighed. Yes, and that sigh
had all the phenomena peculiar to a
world weary mortal, letting his sor-
row go forth from a disappointed
heart.
Alas, it was only too true-too
bitterly true!
She had refused his suit.
However, there was just a grain of
comfort in the knowledge that her
husband would return in an hour.
Possibly he would advance $1.6O
on the garments.
First Stranger Gin railway train):
So you are selling Professor
Blank S new books, are you? Strange
cOincident. l am Professor Blank. "
Second Stranger That so? Then
you wrote the very book 1 am can
vassing for?"
First Stranger-"Yes. The hard
est work l ever did was writing that
book"
Second Stranger-''Well, we'll!
That's another strange coincidence.
the hardest work ever did was try
ing to sell it,"
Every cultivated person knows how
keenly he has to contend against q
certain rudeness both in others and
himself, how much his culture costs
him, how apt he is after all, in GER
tain cases, to think of himself alone,
forgetting what he owes to others.
How often has worthy person to
reproach himself with having failed
to act with proper delicacy? And
when fine nature too delicately, too
conscienti0usly cultivates, nay, il
you will, over-cultivates himself,
there seems is be no liberation, no
indulgence for it in the world. Yet
such persons are, without US, what
the ideal of perfection is within us,
models not for being initiated, but
for being aimed at.
In street-car the other day a
young man attracted the attention
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