davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1907-10-26
A REAL "HOSS" RACE.
Country Fair the Place to See 1t at
Its Best.

If you would see a horse strap
ped, booted, braced and geared to
the limit, you must seek such a
track as you see at the old-time
country fair. Here comes an awk-
ward fea-bitten gray which never
went under $50 in his life. He is
hobbled and checked and goggled, and
hitched up sidewise, lengthwise and
crosswise until there is more har-
ness than horse. You wonder how
his driver ever got him into this rig
ging, and how he will get him out
again without cutting him free with
jackknife. A farmer with a
gray beard and twinkling eye OBJ
serves to his neighbor:
Last time John Martin had that
plug out on the road 1 told him he
had the old cripple overloaded with
fust-aids-t o-the-injured. Them straps
that was ca1'lated to hoist up his
knees must ha' pulled too tight and
the critter was yanked clean off the
ground. What John was gettin'
ready for was a race for flynn ma
chimes, not a boss trot.''-From 1.-THE
Country Fair by David Lansing, in
Outing.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1907-10-26

lines of savage watchers. A long.
wailing cry of agony from out the
thick darkness told the fate of their
first messenger, while Casey, of the
XL," crept slowly, painfully back,
with an Indian bullet embedded deep
in his shoulder. Just before the COM
ing of dawn, Hampton, without utter
ing word, calmly turned up the collar
of his tightly buttoned coat, so as
better to conceal the white collar he
wore. gripped his revolver between his
teeth, and crept like some wriggling
snake among the black rocks and
through the dense underbrush in
search after water. By some miracle
of divine mercy he was permitted to
pass unscathed, and came crawling
back, dozen hastily filled canteens
dangling across his shoulders 1t was
like nectar to those parched, feverish
threats; but of food barely mouth
full a piece remained in the haver-
sacks.
The second day dragged onward. its
hours bringing no change for the bet
ter, no relief, no slightest ray of hope
The hot sun scorched them pitilessly
and two of the wounded died delirious
From dawn to dark there came no
slackening of the savage watchfulness
which held the survivors helpless be-
hind their coverts. The merest up
lifting of head, the slightest move
ment of hand, was sufficient to dem
onstrate how sharp were those savage
eyes.
Another long, black night followed,
during which, for an hour or so in
turn, the weary defenders slept, toss
ing uneasily. and disturbed by fearful
dreams Then gray and solemn, amid
the lingering shadows of darkness,
dawned the third dread day of I'M
equal conflict All understood that 1t
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1907-10-26
Didn't Need cyeIopedias.

The canvasser for a cyclopedia
came to the home of colonel, whose
record he had carefully studied be-
fore his visit The colonel was es-
pecially proud of some of his sons,
so the canvasser began with:
"Those are very fine boys of yours,
colonel"
"They are" replied the colonel.
eI reckon you are ready to buy any
thing those boys want?''
ct am So" said the father of the
fine boys.
well, then, let me sell you this
cyclopedia- There's nothing will do
your sons so much good"
But the colonel looked at him
aghast 'Why, them lads of mine
don't need any cyclopedia- They ride
mules!"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1907-10-26
GIVING HIM A CHANCE.
Surely Time for Hubby to Do Live
ly Sidestep.

Mrs. Wilson's husband was often
obliged to go to New York on bust
ness, and frequently did not reach his
home until the arrival of the midnight
train. Mrs. Wilson had been in the
habit of sleeping peacefully at these
times without fear, but a number Of
burglaries in the neighborhood during
one Of her husbands trips to New
York had disturbed her calm.
On the night of his return Mr.. Will
son was stealing carefully up the
front stairs, as was bis wont on such
occasions, so that his wife would not
be wakened, when he heard her voice,
high and strained:
81 don't know whether you are my
husband or a burglar" came the ex-
cited tones, "but 1 am going to be on
the safe side and shoot, SO if you are
Henry you'd better get out of the
way.'-Youth's Companion.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1907-10-26
QUALITIES OF WIT AND HuMoR.
Alike, Yet in Many Ways Fundament.
ally Different.

Wit and humor are such elemental
fundamental things that it has always
been found difficult to analyze them,
says a writer in The Atlantic. Upon
some points. however, those who have
essayed this puzzling task agree, for
they all hold that wit is an intel
lectual, humor an emotional, quality;
that wit is a perception of resem-
b1ance, and humor a perception of
contrast, of discrepancy, of incongru-
ity. The incongruity is that which
arises between the ideal and the fact,
between theory and practice, between
promise and performance; and per-
haps it might be added that it is al
ways or almost always a moral in
congruity. In the case both of wit
and humor there is also a pleasurable
surprise, a gentle shock, which &C
companies our perception of the hith-
erto unsupported resemblance or in
congruity. A New England farmer
was once describing in the pres
ence of a very humane person the
great age and debility of horse that
he formerly owned and used. you
ought to have killed him. interrupt
ed the humane person Indignantly.
''Wen," drawled the farmer I'VE did
almost"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1907-10-26

take into the army. Oh, now, you
needn't scowl at me like that, Wy
man; I've worn the blue, and seen
some service where a fellow needed to
be a man to sport the uniform Be
sides, I'm not Indifferent, old chap,
and just so long as there remained
any work worth attending to in this
skirmishing affair, 1 did it, didn't 1?
But tell you, man there is mighty lit
tie good trying to buck against Fate,
and when Luck once finally lets go of
a victim, he's bound to drop straight
to the bottom before he stops. That's
the sum and substance of all my
philosophy, old fellow, consequently
never kick simply because things hap
pen to go wrong. What's the use?
They'll go wrong just the same. Con-
sequently, upheld by my acquired
philosophy, Pm merely holding back
one shot for myself, as sort of grand
finale to this fandango, and another for
that little girl out yonder-'
These words were uttered slowly,
the least touch of a lazy draw1 appar-
ent in the low voice, yet there was an
earnest simplicity pervading the
speech which somehow gave it i'm
pressiveness- The man meant exactly
what he said, beyond the possibility OF
a doubt The old soldier, accustomed
to every form of border eccentricity
gazed at him with disapproval.
Either you're the coolest devil I've
met during 80 years OF soldering" he
commented. doubtfuliy, -or else the
craziest- Who are you, anyhow ]
half believe you might be Bob Hamp-
ton, of Placer"
The other smiled grimly- You have
the name tolerabiy correct, old fellow
likewise that delightful spot so lately
honored by my residence In brief
you have succeeded in calling the
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1907-10-26
A Sure Cure.

F. Marion Crawford, at a dinner in
New York, attacked spiritualism- In
principle it may be true" Mr.. Craw-
ford said, but spiritualism as it is
practiced to-day is a thing to beware
Of 1 know a man whose wife sudden
ly developed a great interest in spir-
itualism. She attended seance after
seance at the house of a handsome
medium with oark, thick hair aud
smoldering eyes
Her husband cured her, though He
took to accompanying her to the me-
dium's, and at every seance he got the
most passionate and tender messages
from his first WIFE,"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1907-10-26
Saw It Come Out of a Cow.

little city boy and his sister Dor
othy were taken to the country for
the first time.
The two children were happy as
the day was long In the late after
noon they watched the cows come
home, heard with delight the tink-
ling cow-bells, and the little boy
even went in the barns to see the
milking done.
At supper, just as Dorothy was
lifting her glass to her rosy lips, the
boy cried out:
'-Oh, Dorothy, don'ti You mustn't
drink that milk. It's not fit to drink.
1t came out of a cow. / saw it,"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1907-10-26
Concrete Lighthouse,

By the use of concrete a tall light
house was constructed in short Pc
Rod of time at the Point de Ia Coubre.
at the mouth of the Gironde river, in
France The building is 225 feet high
and about 35 feet in diameter at the
base. 1t was finished in nine months
after the beginning of the work, and
cost $4,000. The haste was due to
the fact that the sea threatened to
wash away the old structure
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1907-10-26
usina the insurance.

ct think said the man whose conn
mercial emporium had been burned
curiously, that I'll try my new yacht
this afternoon"
"Ah, going to have fire SAIL" conn
mented a friend; but as this style OF
Jest has to be seen in print to be APP
preciated it fell fiat. of course.-Ph0-
adelphia Ledger.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1907-10-26
Peculiar Ice Cave,

A summer attraction in Colebrook,
N. H, is the fice cave" in Dixvflle
notch This cave is formed by a fis-
sure in the ledge of the mountain
that fills with snow in winter, and is
protected from the SUMS rays at all
seasons
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1907-10-26
Peculiar Ornament.

An African queen, the second wife
of King Lobengula, wears for a head
dress on state occasions a carved and
decorated bust of her husbands first
wife.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1907-10-26

Feminine curiosity originated with
Mother Eve when she took the first
bite Of that apple.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1907-10-26

Italians Go to South America.
Italians to the number of 10000
emigrated last year to South Ameri-
can ports, as against $4,000 who
came to the United States
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1907-10-26


Glazed and wearied eyes glanced
cautiously toward the singer around
the edges of protecting rocks; fingers
loosened their grasp upon the rifle bar
rels; smoke-begrimed cheeks became
moist; while lips, a moment before
profaned by oaths, grew silent and
trembling. Out in front a revengeful
brave sent his bullet swirling just
above the singers head, the sharp
fragments of rock dislodged falling in
a shower upon his upturned face; but
the fearless rascal sang Serenely on
to the end, without a quaver.
Mistake it for death song likely
he remarked dryly, while the last
clear, lingering note, reechoed by the
cliff, died reluctantly away in softened
cadence. Beautiful old song, ser
geant, and 1 trust hearing it again has
done you good Sang it once in a
church way back in New England
But what is the trouble?- Did you call
me for some special reason?"
YES" came the almost grun re
spouse; for Wyman, the fever steal
ing back upon him, felt half ashamed
of his unShed tears. THAT is, pro-
vided you retain sufficient sense to
listen. Old ellis was shot over an
hour ago, yonder behind that big
bowlder, and his girl sits there still
holding his head in her lap. She'll get
hit also unless somebody pulls her out
of there, and she's doing no good to
Gillis-he's dead"
Hampton's c1ear-cut, expressive face
became grayer, all trace of reckless
ness gone from it. He lifted his head
cautiously, peering over his rock cover
toward where he remembered earlier
in the fight ellis had sought refuge.
GO BE CONTINUED
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1907-10-26

turn perfectly, so far as your limited
information extends In strict conf
dence propose now to impart to you
what has hitherto remained a pro-
found secret Upon special request of
a number of Influential citizens of
Placer, including the city marshal and
other officials, expressed in mass
meeting, 1 have decided upon desert
ing that sagebrush metropolis to it's
just fate, and plan to add the influ-
ence of my presence to the future de-
velopment of Glencaid- learn that
the climate there is more salubrious,
more conducive to long living, the citi-
zens of Placer being peculiarly excit-
able and careless with their fire
arms
The sergeant had been listening
with open mouth The hell you say"
he finally calculated.
1.-THE undefiled truth, every word of
it No wonder you are shocked. A
fine state of affairs, isn't it, when
plain-spoken, pleasant-mannered gen
tleman, such as 1 surely ANA uni
versity graduate. by all the gods, the
nephew of a United States senator.
and acknowledged to be the greatest
exponent of scientific poker in this ter
change his chosen place of abode be-
cause of the threat of an ignorant and
depraved mob. Ever have rope dan
gled in front of your eyes, sergeant,
and a gun-barrel biting into your cheek
at the same time? Accept my word
for it, the experience is trying on the
nerves. Ran a perfectly square game,
too, and those ducks knew it; but
there's no true sporting spirit left in
this territory any more. However,
spilled milk is never worth sobbing
over, and Fate always contrives to
play the final hand in any game, and
stocks the cards to win"
"a breath of good, honest prayer
would serve better than anything
else" groaned the sergeant, soberly.
The gray eyes resting thoughtfulIy
on the old soldiers haggard face be-
came instantly grave and earnest.
Sincerely l wish 1 might aid you
with one" the man admitted, but /
fear, old fellow, any prayer coming
from my lips would never ascend very
far. However, 1 might try the COM
fort of a hymn, and you will remember
this one, which, no doubt, you have
helped to sing back in Gods country"
There was moments hushed
pause, during which a rife cracked
sharply out in the ravine; then the
reckless fellow his head partially sup
ported against the protecting bowlder,
lifted up full, rich barytone in rendi-
ton of that hymn of Christian faith
Nearer, my God, to Thee!
Nearer to Thee.
Fen though it be a
That raiSeth me,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-01-14
ASSOCIATION ORGANIZED.
Cotton Men of Athens Will Attend
 Convention Here.

A A,hens, January 19.-(special) = A branch of the Southern Cotton associa- ton was organized in this place Satur- day afternoon. The call was issued a few dG. prior and large number of repre- sentative farmers were present and the meeting was called to order by Hon. George Gilbert, who stated the objects of the meeting, and Gen. John H. Peebles of Mooresville, one of the leading plan ters of the state. was nominated for pres ident, and unimously elected.
 Dr. Theo Westmoreland was named as vice president. Capt. D. A. Yarbrough as treasurer. and Editors R. M. Rawles, and R. H. Walker as secretaries. A large enrolment of farmers was made and the meeting adjourned to meet the second Saturday in February.
 Before adjournment the president was selected to head the delegation from this county to the state convention this week in Birmingham and a large and representative delegation was named to co with him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-01-14
New Gayety.

The attraction at the New Gayety the atre this week is one that the manage ment promises will please the public. It is claimed for the company that it con tains a strong staff of comedians, men who are able to make an audience laugh heartily many times during perform aDce.
 The company is known as the Runaway Girls, and the opening performance will be this afternoon, with the regular per formance tonight There is a matinee every afternon and performance every evening during the week.
 The newspapers in other cities have commnded the company highly and have stated that it has a number of pretty chorus girls. several clever women in the leading parts, and an ollo of first class vaudeville acts.
 The Livingstons, one of the greatest &C., robatic teams that has been imported from Europe in many years, has been added to the list of vaudeville. It is claimed that it will offer some new and startling features.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-01-14
AMUSE MENTS.
"The Tenderfoot." t"

Ruth White and Oscar L. Figman, two of Birmngham's favorites, will be well comed back to town tomorrow night when the big musical success, "The Tender fcot," returns for one nights engage nest at the Jefferson theatre. This is a special engagement in every sense of the word, and will mark the third presenta- tion here of Richard Carle's best effort by special request. The same careful, ar tistic presentation as 10 detail that has marked the greatest of all the great Carle successes has been given the coming pro- duction. The company is quite large. num- berng over half hundred people, in- cluding the prime donkey, Rupert, and a large and comedy chorus. The advance sale already indicates lively interest in "The Tenderfoot."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-01-14
At the Majestic.

A vaudeville bill featured with stars of the profession will begin a weeks en- gagement at the Majestic with perform ances today, matinee and night. Manager Stevenson has tried hard to please the patrons of this house, and with this in- tention he has succeeded in signing per- formers we'll up in the profession How ard and Blank are two well known stars. Their slSit is sure to please, their ef- forts have been crowned with success at all places.
 Besides these there are other enter tainers who will appear before the foot lights. Gillihan and Murray a remark ably funny pair, are sure to create ex- citement when they begin some rapid fire comedy. Both men have wide reputa- tlons, and their act will be one of the fea- lures of the bill The Eastrebrooks, q musical pair, have been successful since their entrance on the vaudeville stage, and their musical ability has attracted wide attention. Oliver, Patten and oth- CTS will complete the bill. Pictures will be seen on the Majestograph.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-01-14
"Are You a Mason ?n

The announcement of the coming of Are You a Mason?" to the Jefferson theatre Wednesday afternoon and night has intensely interested the lovers of laughter and comedy in this city. There is nothing so popular with the theatre going public as a good farcical comedy, and one with a record like this clever adaptation from the German cannot fail to draw capacity houses wherever 1t is presented. It is now in it's third success ful year in London, and it has been a winner in every civilized corner of the globe. An excellent company has been en- gagged for this season, headed by William Robert Daly and Charlie Patterson.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-01-14
British and Yankees in Uruguay.

Albert Hale in the January Reader Maga-
 zine
 The stars and stripes Is less familiar in and the Yankee is known chiefly as the producer of agricultural implements. sew ing machines and novelties. Is 1t any wonder that our example is counted as nothing and our influence too faint to be recognized?
 In the clubs an American feels an alien. The Uruguay, one of the handsomest and most aristocratic clubs in South America, is frequented, as matter of course, by every one who has ambitions; the talk here is of society. of the horse show and the European fashions At the Spanish or Italian clubs the traditions of the mother country are preserved with com mendable loyalty. The modest English club attracts all Engllsh-speaking trav- elers, whether they come for pleasure or for business, yet, even to its huge green billiard tables with golf balls for projec- tiles, it is British all through. And this Is so because England is dominant in Uruguayan affairs. England has sixty million pounds invested; she owns the railways. many of the large estancias. the Lebig's Extract of Meat company, sev- eral mines, a tramway company and three banks England holds much of the ex- ternal debt of one hundred and forty mill lion dollars; and in Montevldeo one notices her influence even in such a detail as the characteristically British custom of driving to the left on the road and that on the pavement one must walk to the right Although Uruguayans are sensi- tive and resent interference from without, they are genial and cordial, hospltable. and honest in everything but politics; they welcome any one who has faith in them, and therefore they look upon the English as practically friends. It is only natural that they should. The English have not been afraid to invest their money here: they have acted while we talked. and they have had the confidence. which we seem to have lacked. that invest ments will not be unreturned.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-01-14

friends suggested that since he had no other fad, he should organize a band of his own and beat the drum in that. He acted on this advice. His band costs him RoOOO annually, but thls Is none too large sum for the attainment of his heart s desire. Inconspicuous and content. he sits under the baton of his paid leader, and thrums and drums.
 Then there is the case of a certain young gentleman in New York who gave a dinner, and who appealed to his guests with the inquiry:
 And what in Gods name am I to do tomorrow night?'
 'Go out" suggested some one.
 T have been everywhere"
 "Stay in.'' "' There is no one I want to see"
 "Try solitude"
 That has become insupportable"
 Start on journey"
 Where could l go? have been every. where"
 "Go again. '
 But I have been many times. detest travelling
 "Get married"
 q know too much about women."
 "Get drunk"
 "I have been drunk so often-and on SO many things It extinguishes me to think of it." Be good But how?"
 Nobody could answer, though they were all willing enough to be witty about 1t. When the next night came he had blown out his brains. He had 10 find some new way of spending the evening.
 All this Is part and parcel of the same thing-all symptoms of the disease of ner- vous prosperity. But not all of LIS, for tunately, are to be afflicted with It. It Is kT IL some press of necessity the greater part of us immune.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-01-14
SEYMOUR ISSUES
 ADDRESS TO PEOPLE
MAKES A GENERAL APPEAL FOR LARGE ATTENDANCE AT ANNu- AL CONVENTION TO BE HELD IN BIRMINGHAM THIS WEEK.

President w. H. Seymour of the Ala bama division of the Southern Cotton association, has issued the following aG- dress:
 Montgomery. Ala, Jan. 12 1907. To the People of Alabama.
 The annual convention of the Southern Cotton association, which this year will be held on Alabama soil, promises to be, in point of attendance and in results achieved, second to no other gathering in the history of the country.
 On that occasion representative citizens of the south, representing the various southern states will discuss those mat ters of common interest, which in a great measure affect, if not determine, our con- mon destiny.
 It is important, and it is desired, that Alabama should be well represented at the convention, that her influence may be felt in shaping the policies seeking the continued agricultural industrial and commercial development of this great
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-01-14
Wealth and Nerves.

From the Reader Magazine for January.
 Such a case as that of Simon P. Bern heimer of New York, who, having mill ions to his credit, makes choice of all the things in the world and decides that he best enjoys beating a bass drum, is an example of modern nervous prosperity. When in 1886 the Amictla orchestra was created. composed of cultivated music lovers and clever amateur performers, Bernhemer asked permission to beat the bass drum His friends were under the impression that he was joking. but he produced his drum-the best that money could buy-and demonstrated his skill to their satisfaction. Later the interesting musical organization dissolved, and the drummer was indeed bereft Then his