Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1907-02-08
GENERALIZATION"
AN ORGANIZATION TO "SHOOT
FOLLY AS 1T FLIES"

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Amuse the President and Party Of Notables
Nobody Is Free From Their Good Ma
tured Satre-The Truthful Application Of
Their Wit Gives Point to Its Utterance.
A meeting held last week, with the
major motif OF the entertainment CEN
tering upon Capitalization" affords
a warning often conveyed in words
spoken in jest, and recalls to mind
Pope's verse declaring that the grada-
tions in vice begins with endurance
and liberation, which lead by imper-
ceptible steps to adoption. 1t seems
that the ultimatum pressged by the
Gridiron is almost too horrible and
and repulsive to be even the subject of
jest, but it may serve to show that the
idea OF strong government eliminating
in monarchial form OF some shape is
not held alone by the few, and is un'
spoken because so abhorrent.
An account OF the meeting says that
the proceedings we're held in the pres
ence OF the President OF the United
States and the Vice President, rep.
resentatives from the coordinate
branches of the government, host OF
literary and newspaper men, Statesmen
and many OF the captains OF industry,
and an empire was erected.
The kingly power was surrounded
with all the officers OF State, with
courtiers and pages. herald who
looked more like " Happy Jack Fal.
staff" than anything else, and a nu-
merous court to complete the gorgeous
picture.
And the fun these men of the Grid
iron Club got out of the skit," to say
nothing OF the enjoyment Of the
guests, showed how keenly the Assem-.
blage appreciated the satires.
And there was a jester, too, who
spoke an epilogue which served as the
introduction of President Roosevelt,
who made forcible address.
The principal feature OF the event
was, OF course, based on President
Roosevelts Capitalization idea. The
club selected the year 1917 as the time
when the United States would be an
empire and presented to its guests q
ceremonial session Of the court OF ." His
Gracious and Imperial Majesty, EN-
peror of all the Americans, Champion
Of Capitalization, King OF Kings and
Monarch of the High, the Middle and
the Low"
The room was darkened and after
ten strokes on a gong, each represent.
ing year, the lights came up and a
gorgeous gold throne was discovered
beside which stood herald who an.
nounced the members Of the court Of
they came in. There were four officers
of the kings privy council, courtiers
pages, jester and all the ponoply OF q
court.
The king made an impressive en-
} trance and. before assuming the throne
noticed . large map of the United
States, with the States indicated, which
hung on the wall.
"What mean those lines" demand
: ed the king.
, "Tis An old map, SIRE" . courtiel
replied, "and indicates the States that
were."
"Erase those lines," commanded
the king, and they were rubbed out
leaving the United States. as indicated
} by the map. one empire without divid
ing lines.
Then the following conversation en-.
sued:
"Whst was that music they played
as came INF"
at was q revised version OF God
Save the King sire.
Revised? By whom?"
"By William Jennings Bryan, sire
He calls it God Help the King"
Bryan? Bryant Who is hei"
"The same, your majesty, who hold'
the railroad lines west OF the Missis
sippi."
"Can we not crush him?"
"He's made OF India rubber, your
majesty, and will not be crushed"
This kind OF witness was interrupted
by the entrance Of two ragged and
oe.begone men, both Of whom pros
Frustrated themselves before the king.
One said: "Be merciiul. for once
owned all the railroads in this land"
The other said: "And l controlled
the oil products"
They were identified by s'courtiel
as H. H. Rogers and ]. Pierpont Nor
gan, much TO the amusement of the
guests, who watched Mr.. Morgan and
Mr.. Rogers narrowly.
Rogers and Morgan both laughed
heartily and the President nearly fell
out OF bis chair. It was decided by
tho court that inasmuch as these meu
had been deprived Of all their property
they should be given employment and
Rogers was billeted as first oiler oil
; the imperial special train," and Morgan
was made "official photographer oi
the Panama canal" with instruction,
, to get all the ateam ahoyels.n