Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1907-11-15
ABSENCE OF MIND.
A Funny Story About Ampere, the Fa-
NOUS Mathematician.

p Funny StoT1 Hpout HWpef0t Ho -
nous Mathematician.
You all know the old joke Of th'
professor who, pondering over the say
ing that in a railway accident absence
Of body was a good deal better thar
absence Of mind, went to the nearest
railway station and tried to take 9
ticket "for the nearest railway acci-
dent" so as to have the matter proved
to his own satisfaction. You doubt
less know the story, too, Of the pro-
fessor Of mathematics whose new par
lor maid told him when he rang at his
own door that Professor Jones was
out. I'll call again, I'll call again.
he said and went away.
But these are stories merely. Here
however, are some incidents from real
life: Ampere was remarkably absent
minded. Hundreds Of stories Of his
observation-disclosures are told. but quite
the funniest Is that Of his dinner at the
house of M. Fontanes, the grand-mas-
ter of the University Of Paris. For q
Joke somebody had told Ampere that
he must 60 to the dinner in his aca-
demician's uniform Of green and gold
and girt with his sword. When he got
to the house he was very much an
noyed to find everybody else in ordi-
mary evening dress. II will get rid OF
the sword at all events" he said to
himself and slipped 1t behind the cush-
ions of a sofa After dinner Ampere
forgot himself, as usual, and became
lost in abstruse calculation. He tooka
little piece of chalk out Of his pocke'
and began working out problems on
the black satin cover Of the mantel-
piece. He became so absorbed In what
he was doing that all the guests left
without his noticing them, and when
he wrote down Q. e. D. no one was
left in the room except Nine. Fon-
tanes, and she unfortunately sat fast
asleep on the sofa where Ampere's
sword lay hidden.
Ampere went down upon his knees
and pulled gently at the sword, so as
to get 1t away without waking the
lady. He pulled and pulled, and pres
entity the sword came out-without the
scabbard. At this moment Nine. Fon-
tanes awoke and alarmed the house
with her screams Of terror at seeing a
man on his knees before her with a
drawn sword in his hand.
But mathematical professors have
not the monopoly Of absentmtnded-
ness. La Fontaine, whose fables are
the delight of adult Frenchmen and
their children's earliest task. went to
the court Of Louis XVI. to present a
CODY of his fables to the king. And he
forgot the book. Fortunately, the KING
knew La Fontaine, his fables and his
foibles and gave him a thousand pis-
toles (about $3.50. Unfortunately,
though, La Fontaine left the money In
his hired carriage on his way back to
Paris.
But the prettiest piece Of absent
mindedness Of which I have ever heard
was that Of Professor Pozzi, who ask
ed a lady who was bewailing the fact
that she had no children whether she
thought the failing was hereditary.
This is even more amusing than the
delightful answer made by the engi-
neer of the Seine tunnel, M. Berlier to
a servant who told him when he went
to call upon his lawyer that that gen.
tleman had died that morning. oh,
said M. Berlier, dear, dear, I'm so sor-
ry. But tell him won't keep him a
minute."-St. James Gazette.