davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The broad ax., 1907-07-13
EllykAgQgg2Sa
AN EYE FOR BUSINESS.
Transaction In Which strabismus Was
Not q Handicap.

Transaction In Which Strabismus Was
Not Handicap.
There Is a small cross eyed boy liv-
Ing in this city who II he doesn't lose
his life through just retribution viii
grow up to become a great financier,
declared Jones. For some time my
wife has possessed yellow purp that
has no earthly excuse for living. But
she thinks that he is the finest dog In
the city and spends most OF her time
hucging him and kissing his dirty little
nose. Finally the dog worship became
so unbearabIe TO me that resolved to
end the nuisance. CHANGING TO meet
a small cross eyed boy one day, l said
to him:
"'See here,Sboy, do you want to earn
q dollarT
"'Sure! said he.
eWell, then said l, you 60 up %
my house, watch your chance and steal
the yellow cur that you will find hang
ing around there. When you get him
bring him down TO my office and get
your dollar
within two hours the boy was OacA
with the cur tied 10 a rope.
"What will / do with him, bossT
he asked after paid him.
"1 don't care l snapped. Drown
him II you want to-
THAT night / discovered my wife In
tears, and l was Informed between
sobs that poor, dear little Fido was
missing. The next day she had an ad-
yertisement inserted in, all the papers
Offering SO for his return. The third
day she met me joyfully at the door
and announced that FidO had been
found
"Wherer asked, concealing a
groan.
"A little boy brought him back she
answered.
"What kind OF a boyT 1 asked sus-
piciously.
"A small cross eyed boy with the
most honest face that l ever saw ON q
boy. 1 gave him $40, 1t being all had,
and told him II he would go down and
see you that l knew you would be glad
to add IS to it,
But the boy didn't show up. As a
matter Of fact, 1 hadn't the slightest
idea he would. I wouldn't mind Civ
ing him IS IL he would call."-Detroit
Free Press
The broad ax., 1907-07-13
RENPEcKED.

A half n hundred hens one day
At least the story goes
TaIked DER their rights and wrongs
end then
In hot rebellion rose
The rooster had been lord OF all
A cruel tyrant he
They sought 10 take him down peg
Or two or maybe three.
One souawk. then at him did they ny
And picked and scratched Ike mad,
They drove him here and dragged hin
there.
And used him very bad.
The wrath Of months fell on his head
The lob was very clean.
He looked as though he'd Uttered
through
A harvesting machine
And since that day the world has come
To this conclusion terse-
A henpecked man looks bad enough,
A henpecked rooster worse
Joe Cone In Judge
The broad ax., 1907-07-13
WON BY A HAIR.
John MorrIsssy's Bet With Oakley Hell
and Hubert Q. Thompson.

AOnn W0rTtII8l = ~ " ~ N-FN~l WI
and Hubert o. Thompson.
when the ofices Of the New York
corporation counsel were lately moved
from the Stats zeitung building and
were finally installed in their new
quarters much Of the ancient furniture
which had been in the building since
the time Of DelaheId Smith was sent to
the junkshop and replaced with new.
Among these pieces OF furniture was
an old horsehair sofa which had a his
tory all its own. for on II in both the
DAYS OF Delaheld Smith and William
C. Whitney those people who wished
TO obtain an audience Of the corpora
ton counsel were invariably invited to
SIT.
Among other strange tales which this
ancient piece Of furniture could tell Is
OF meeting which took place upon its
passed away, who were In their time
inveterate gamblers, though only one
Of them was professionally engaged In
that business. One day John MOrrissey,
Hubert o. Thompson and Oakley Hall
all arrived in the outer office at the
same time.
The three men exchanged greetings,
and all three sat down on the old sofa.
Morrissey was lingering the hOrsehair
cloth when he came across a hair. His
betting instinct at once manifested
Itself.
81 will bet either Of you gentlemen"
he said. "a thousand dollars that l can
pull longer hair out of this sofa than
either Of you"
Oakley Hall took it up. 81 will bet
you a thousand" he replied.
Not to be outdone, Hubert o. Thomp-
son said he would take a hand in the
game also.
The stakes, $1,000 each, were pro-
duced from bulky pocketbooks and
then and there handed over to an en-
ployee Of Mr.. whitney's department.
Each man then took hold of a hair,
while the other employees Of the office
gathered around In breathless excite
ment to witness the result Of the
strange bet.
Jim Powell, the head stenographer OF
the department, was the man who held
the money. He died many years ago.
But there are others still alive who re-
member the shout Of boyish glee with
which Mcrrissey held up hair nearly
two feet long. He was easily first in
the betting, for neither Oakley Hall nor
Thompson came within six inches OF
him.
Just as Morrissey tucked the 5000
away In his wallet the bell rang. and
John McCann, Mr.. Whitney's messen-
ger, came out.
'Mr. Morrissey, will you step inside,
pleaSeT be said
'Yhe luck is Johns today" growled
Oakley Hall. who was In a hurry. Hell
be there an hour at least"-New York
American
The broad ax., 1907-07-13
HThe" Tyrol,

Apropos Of Major Martin Hume's re-
cent protest against the Incorrect use
Of the definite article before "Astu-
rias," 1t II interesting to hear the de-
nunciation Of ''the" before Tyrol, made
by Mr.. aillie-Grohman In the London
Chronicle. II is 'Tyrol" without the
article, he says, for there is only one
Tyrol. A "Bavarian Tyrol" and an
italian TyroP' do not exist, and there
fore ''the Austrian Tyrol'' Is also a
wrong expression. Still, probably half
Of the people who visit Tyrol, In sum-
mer or winter, throw In the superfu-
Gus Sthe."
The broad ax., 1907-07-13
EaIaa Sianal.

''You don't believe in romance. chr
said the old boarder.
you bet your tintype l don't" sigh
ed the young man with the bandAge
around his head. 81 had my share"
allow was thatT
'weIl, you see. / was forbidden TO
call on my best girl, and every night
she would sit out on the balcony and
at a certain hour strike a match That
would be the signal for me to stick
my head through the vines and kiss
her"
"Ah, very poetical?'
Eyes, but the other night saw the
match fare up, stuck my head through
the vines and got the worst thrashing
I ever received You see, the old man
happened to be out there lighting his
pipe Chicago Tribune.
The broad ax., 1907-07-13
coolneaa In DANCER.

One Of the women In the Kingston
earthquake showed what she thought
was great GOODNESS. When the first
shock had passed she hurried out on
to the lawn in front Of her hotel, bless-
ing her stars Tor her escape. She felt
that she was perfectly cool. for she re-
membered that she had left her pow
der pun behind and determined to
hare H. Her manner Of recovering Il
was as cool Is the rest Of her conduct.
She sent a black servant into the tot
tsring building after it.-chicaeo News,
The broad ax., 1907-07-13
n. PIaina Of Ahrahan.

The historic plains Of, Abraham VIII
be dedicated as a national park at the
celebration next year OF the three hun
dredth anniversary Of the founding Of
Quebec, provided those most prominent
IN the commemoration are able to have
their way. At present the plains are
marred by a rife factory, and instead
Of listening to the demand that they
remove to another site the owners Of
the plant demand more room.
The broad ax., 1907-07-13
LitkIe Pitchers.

Tommy-why, Mr.. Smith, you didn't
90 in the ocean steamer after all. did
you?
Guest-What makes you ask that,
Tommy 1 had no idea OF going in the
steamer.
Tommy-well, all the same, mamma
said, when papa told her he had asked
you to dinner, why did he do that, be-
cause she was sure you would be half
seas over.-Baltimore American.
The broad ax., 1907-07-13
Penalty Of Vanity,

Two tadpOles lived In a meadow
pool. One tadpole was exceedingly
vain and kicked around until be de-
veloped a pair Of pale green legs and
arose 10 the dignity Of a frog. The
other tadpoIe was sluggish.
Hurry up" said the new frog
'rwhy, you are the slowest thing In all
the Saeadows. Without legs you VII
never be noticed"
"And that is just why am not rails
ing them" replied the slow tadpole
1T doesn't always pay to be noticed"
And now the slow tadpole still swims
among the rushes while his vain broth
er has long since been served up on
crisp toast.-Detroit Tribune.
The broad ax., 1907-07-13
Topsy's Last Name.

The story Is told OF how a little girl
had been listening intently to her
mother reading uncle Toms Cabin
aloud, and finally when the story was
finished the child raised her blue eyes
questioningly and said:
why is II, mother, that the book
never mentions Topsy's last nameY'
MY child" replied the mother, Il
guess she had no other name"
"Oh. yes, she had, and l know IT," re-
turned the little girl.
SWell, what was itT'
''Why. Turvy-Topsy Turvy."
Louis Republic.
The broad ax., 1907-07-13
He Meant Well.

Not long ago a young Irishman was
seeking work in western Illinois, and
among those to whom he applied was
a farmer near Cairo.
The farmer was attracted by the
Celt's frank. CHEEKY manner, and while
be was not in need Of help he asked
after a pause:
''Can you GRADER
Grader repeated the Irishman
sure l can! But, sir" he added per.
suasively, couldn't ye give me job
out Of duresT'
The broad ax., 1907-07-13
In Trainino.

EVIL hear that Ethel is learning
pole vaulting. suppose she will soon
be quite jumper.
Edna-Yes; she Is preparing to jump
at the first young man who has the
nerve to propose-Des Moines Regis
ter.
The broad ax., 1907-07-13
Saved Prom |. prunkard,, er.v..

Two farmers were standing on the
roadside talking over town topics when
Silas said:
81 hear Mrs. Jones saved her hus-
band fBom a drunkard's grave"
Hiram inquired: Don't say! Why,
how did she do itP'
silas - She had him cremated. =
Judges Library.
The broad ax., 1907-07-13

From latest reports 1t Is clear that
our great seal herd Is rapidly disap-
pearing as the result Of poachlng and
IN spite Of the efforts Of the United
States authorities. Today there are
only $4,000 seals. where there were
7.Oo0o00 ffty years ago. The history
q he buftalo is about to be repeated
The broad ax., 1907-07-13
Misundsrrtood.

Gunbusta-A burst hose recently
caused Mrs- De Style loss Of $4,000.
MB. CI=.oUsta = Serves her right;
that's an awful lot Of money 10 keep IN
ones cking.-LIDpineott'S.
The broad ax., 1907-07-13
A Serious Case.

Brown-I met Swiggs last night. He
seemed to have a bad case OF the blues.
Green-He did. ehl
Brownies. Two policemen were
supporting him.-C Chicago News.
The broad ax., 1907-07-13

NJ. A. Fraid-Is there any danger Of
this boat sinkingf
M. B. Frank-No; It has tipped over
with four or ave different parties, but
Il always f0ats ashore al highest.
Louis PostD Dispatch
The broad ax., 1907-07-13

First Summer Girl-who is that clean
shaver, handsome boy?
Second Summer GirI-oh, he's an
actorl
FIRST Summer Girl-No. I mean the
other one.
Second Summer Giri-oh. be hasn't
any money eitl1eri- Punch.
The broad ax., 1907-07-13

Mr.. Hamnfatt-I say, McBooth, here's
an article about a fellow who walked
around the world
Mr.. McBooth.-An actor. by Jove:-
Washington Star.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1907-05-14
[. A. R. ENCAMPMENT
 HERE NEXT WEEK Members in Legislature Will Take Active Part
 in Session. TWO CANDIDATES OUT Now in the Field for De- partment Commanders
 Position.
TWO CANDIDATES OUT

Hartford, May 1S.-The Grand Army men in the legislature will take an ac- tive part in the state encampment which will be held in New Haven May 9 and 23. The two candidates for de- partment commander, succeeding Vir- gil r. McNeil, of New Haven, are Rep .resentatives Edward Griswold. of Guil- ford, president of the Legislative Vet eran association, and Charles A. Ap- belle, of Mansfield post in Mlddletown President Raymond, of Wesleyan uni versity, will nominate MT. Appelle in the encampment. The Middietown can didate was in the Maine cavalry dur ing the war and is widely known as a business manager. He Is popular in the Grand Army in Connecticut, and will be q formidable contestant for the commandership.
 Representative Griswold Is entrench- ed back of the legislative supporters of his canvass, and is hopeful of success. He belongs to Admiral Foote post, of New Haven, which gave it's vote a year ago to Commander McNeil.
 An effort will be made at the en- campment to consolidate the offices of assistant adjutant-ge general and assist ant quartermaster-g general, giving the appointment to General William E. Morgan, of New Haven. In that con- tingency Assistant Adjutant-General John H. Thatcher, of Hartford, will retire. He has been in office twenty years.
 The appropriations committee, Sena- I tor McGovern chairman, will visit the Connecticut Agricultural college Fri day in connection with the grants from the treasury asked for by the institu- ton. The outlook In favor of the col lege is brightenIng.
 The committee on agriculture will take up the forestry measures in the general assembly this week and will report favorably for the continuance of forestry work in the state. It car 1 be stated on good authority that the committee will not report in favor oi the bill providing for model farm ir Fairfield county. Disapprobation will also be voted by the committee rela' tive to the bill providing for the dis semination of farm information by train equipped with farm utensils seeds and grain, the work to be under the auspices of the state board of agri. culture and the experiment stations These bills came from Representative Low, of Norwalk, clerk of the agricul- tural committee,
The daily morning journal and courier., 1907-05-14
ADELE RITCHIE.
An Ideal sewoman--MaintaIns a
 Most Complete Stable.

"She can certainly drive"
 This remark is heard wherever and whenever Adele Ritchie, the Dresden china comedienne, is seen driving sim gle, double, tandem or unicorn or tool Ing fours through the parks In New York, on the country roads adjacent or on the roads at Newport or Atlantic City in all of which places she is a strikingly familiar figure.
 This little actress, chic, petite and charming and apparently frail, is one of the most remarkable horsewomen in the country and stands always ready and willing to drive any four green horses to coach or drag against any woman whip in the world for glory or a big cash prize to go to any charity. She has in fact issued challenge after challenge in most sweeping style with all kinds of concessions only to find that there seems to be no woman wiil- ing to risk whatever reputation she may have in contest with so formid- able opponent as litte Miss Ritchie.
 Miss Ritehie maintains a stable of eight horses in New York and on her country place near Rye, N. Y., she maintains most complete stable of fourteen high bred thoroughbreds in- cluding hunters, jumpers. saddle and driving horses as well as four for her heavy coach. She has also at this country place complete steeplechase course with stone, brush and water jumps and is always ready and anxious to literally put her guests over the jumps"
 While her first love is the horse Miss Ritchie is not at all opposed to the motor cars as are some horse lovers, but is one of the most daring and most skilful drivers of motor car around New York and drives a sixty horse power racer with such apparent reck- lessness that her friends constantly fear that she will meet with injury. The nearest she has come so far was to fall Into the clutches of a vigilant New York bicycle cop last week In New York and land up in a maglstrates s court to answer a charge of exceeding the speed limit on Fifth avenue. New York. The case has gone to the court of special sessions and Miss Ritchle in- tends to fight 1t to finish although she faces heavy fine and possibility of a sentence of Imprisonment,
 Miss Ritchie will present her new musical comedy called Fascinating Flora at the Hyperion for the first time on Thursday, but she will not ln- troduce a horse scene as she did in "The Social Whirl" because she says it is too dangerous on slippery stage and too hard on her pet jumper.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1907-05-14
FIVE BEFORE COURT
 ON BURGLARY CHARGE William Heiser Caught in Blacksmith Shop of Form
 CT Employer. FOUR BOYS ACCUSED Will be Tried To-day for Entering Nesbit Grocery
 Store.
FOUR BOYS ACCUSED

On charge of burglary William Heiser of 76 Minor street, was arrest ed last evening by Officer Kane of the central station in the blacksmith shop of J. T. Tiernon and son, at 52 Com merce street. Heiser is a fireman by occupation and formerly worked at the Herman shop. He has not been there for a month, however. Of late, MT. Tiernan says he has been missing things from his shop. Two men called Officer Kane's attention to the open door of the shop last evening and he found Heiser inside. He Is held on the burglary charge.
 Four young lads ranging in age from seven 10 fourteen, will also be brought before the City court this morning on the serious charge of burg lary. Joseph McMorron, aged 8. and his brother Charles, 10, were arrested this afternoon by Officer John Moore of the Grand avenue precinct and last night Michael Burns, aged and Tho mas Marino. aged 14, were added to the corral. The McMorron boys live at S05 Grand avenue. Burns claims a home at 126 Franklin, and Marine at 26O Hamilton. Marine has a police record already In his brief career.
 The boys are accused of burglariz- ing the store of the R. H. Nesbit com pany at Elm and Church streets, on Sunday night. The McMorron boys were released on ball of $500 each last l evening.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1907-05-14
FAIR HAVEN NEWS.

There was a large attendance last
 evening at the meeting of the Mems club of the Grand avenue Congrega- tional church. The president, T. s.
 Coleman, presided and said that he was glad to see the club starting off
 in it's second year so prosperously. The club now has a membership of 7S Two songs were given by MT. Burwell with accompaniment by Miss Burwell and
 the Alpha quartet gave three songs, these taking part in this musical pro-
 gramme receiving hearty applause It was voted that at the June meeting which will be the last meeting of the season. that each member be per
 mitted to invite his wife and lady friends. To make the arrangements for thls meeting the president appointed committee on entertainment consisting
 of Messrs. Graves, Bishop and Burn
 ham, on music. Messrs. Foster, Clark
 and Hurlburt. and on refreshments,
 Messrs. Clark and Tlbballs.
 The address of the evening was given
 by Hon, s. W. Matthews. who for twen- ty years was commissioner of industrial
 statistics of Maine. He has just come
 to this city to reside and Is making
 his home with his daughter and her
 husband, MT. and Mrs. sherman I.
 Graves. MT. Matthews spoke on 'The
 Resources of the Pine Tree State and
 gave most interesting and instructive
 address. "The state of Maine" said
 MT. Matthews. "has an area of S1,5OO
 square miles. There are residing in
 Connecticut 3,7sS residents who were
 born in Maine, but in Maine there are
 only SO6 people born in Connecticut.
 As 1t is the first state on which the
 sun rises. 1t Is sometimes called the
 sunrise state The pulp industry re-
 quires yearly 300, 900 feet of spruce
 and the spruce used up in lumber and
 plup equals about 6S7, 7,00oO00 feet per
 year. Arostook county alone produces
 from 10,OO0,OOO to 12.000,0OO bushels of potatoes year. There are only two counties in the country the value of whose farm products are larger than those of Arostook. This county has an area greater by 1000 square miles than that of Connecticut. This county pro- duces 5000 tons of starch each year. Each year the state produces 6O0.00O cases of sardines The production of its cotton mills are $15. 5.00OO O00 per year and of the woolen mills, ,OOO. The total of Maine's manufactures equal SIPS, 100000 per year" MT. Matthews ] also spoke of Maine's great public men,
 many of whom he had known and at the close of his lecture he received
 generous applause.
 The Quinniplac Canoe club will give a minstrel entertainment at Polar Star hall tonight and it promises to be very interesting. An entirely new
 and pleasing programme has been ar
 ranged, including many catchy songs
 and the minstrel company promises to have a crowded house, as the tickets I are selling very well.
 Tie w, c. T. U. will give a supper wednesday at 6:15 to 7:3O in their hall, IT Grand avenue.
 Yesterdays election in the borough of Fair Haven East was probably the ! most exciting ever held. It is dozen
The daily morning journal and courier., 1907-05-14
CRAVE UNREST IN INDIA. REPORTS CONFIRMED. MT. Morley Informs the Commons Deportation
 of Agitators.

London, May 13.-The secretary of state for India, Mir. Morley, in the house of commons to-day confirmed the press reports of the grave condition of unrest in India and justified the arrest and deportation of agitators against whom there were not sufficient grounds to place them on trial before the courts. The secretary added that he disliked to adopt such measures but they must be judged from the standpoint of the emergency and the risk existing. Therefore the government had refused to strip the Indian executive of any weapon which the law placed in their hands for the suppression of danger our agitations.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1907-05-14
TERRIBLE ITCHING AND SCRATCHING
On Hands, Feet and Face = Caused by Poison Oak and Ivy Was Unable to Rest Night or Day Developed into Eczema, which Affected Whole of System Y Suf- fered 4 Years Without Relief.
CURED BY THE
 CUTICURA REMEDIES

"A healthy person doesnot heed state ments made by sick people, but II such persons suffer from poisonous weeds, Q remedy is anxiously desired. Isuffered severely for four years from poison oak and ivy. My condition was serious, as Icould not rest night or day and be free from terrible itching sensation from scratching on my hands between the fingers, my feet and face. l got the best of advice and treatment from six differ ent doctors who were anxious to cure me. One of the doctors told me that when the poison was cured, eczema (a worse disease) would follow, which be- came true. My eyesight was affected, and l went to hospital especially for the eyes and got relief, but eczema got a terrible hold on my system.
 T was about to give up all hope of ever being cured, yet l could not be reconciled to such results, as my health had been good and free from any dis ease all my life. My age is seventy three years. In my extremity l hap pened to read of Cuticura Remedies for bhll uIS5dStS, ana WEOVo yOu bo piodoo send me supply of the Cuticura Reme- dies. was anxious about my condition and desired to evade any spurious imi- tation. This was in July, 1905, and I was instructed to call on certain drug gist for the Cuticura Remedies. bought five boxes Cuticura Ointment also some Cuticura Soap and Cuticura Pills as I required them. In four weeks treat ment my face was smooth, and the itch ing gradually left my hands and feet and l could rest comfortably, for which l am grateful and happy ". Field Cowen, Justice of the Peace and Notary Public, Hartly, Del, May Is, l906."
 Complete External and Internal Treatment for Evgly Humor of IntAn.s, Children. and Adults consists of cu eura Soap (5c) ClsEnse the Skin, Cuteura Ointment
 0e) to Heal the Skin, and Cutienra Pills Chocolate Coated, 25c per vial of 8O to Purity the Blood
 Sold throughout lhe world Potter Drug Chem Corp, Sole Props Boston, Mas Dspots: London, Newbery 9I Charterhouse Sq; Paris, Roberta. Rue dc h Paix
 aS-AGied FTss, All About the 5knr Scalp and HaIss
The daily morning journal and courier., 1907-05-14

O-der Evans Ale From tho nearest dealer, and see what treat 1t Is. All over New Haven