The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-07-08
1RattIesnakes on Toast" Was
the Cowboys Order.
BUT He MET WITH HIS MATcF

---~--~~--~---
The Promptnoss With Which tho
Tough Waiter Served the Dish Took
the Terror's Nerve Away--Ths Re-
past and tho Final Request
Away back III 1870 man named
Turpin established q restaurant In
Yuma, and among Turpin's original
employees was waiter named Job
Straight, who could shoot with great
precision, play draw poker with I'M
varying success and pack eighteen
plates Of miscellaneous grub upon one
bare arm at one time. He could exc
cute oil the prevailing melodies either
on piano or guitar. and he possessed
the most tremendous baritone voice
ever heard In Arizona. Why, men some
times went TO Turpin's just to hear Joe
deliver gastronomic orders. No per-
feet description can be given Of that
voice, however, except to say that at
times It really did make things clatter
Once a fresh young cowboy from
near ella Bend entered Turpins for a
Christmas dinner who took startling
concoction as an appetizer and then
dropped thud-lnse at d table and rough
~ shouted to Straight:
"Say, there, Baldyl Bring me some
grub"
Job was at first appalled,; but, recov-
ertng his reserve limit Of equanimity.
he brushed an imaginary breadcrnmb
from the frescoed tablecloth and
whisked BIN Of fare from the varie-
gated castor and placed IL before the
new young terror of the Bend.
"Take It awayr' cried the latter In
tones that could give Straight's ordi-
nary, everyday baritone castle and
checkmate it in FIVE moves. Il don't
want to read your darned old tract
don't care a darn who came into the
world 70 save sinners. Bring me some
grub-g-r-u-b! Grubl Grubi Grubr
what do you wantT"
''Rattlesnakes on toast! And want
you to hump yourselfw
whats thati"
"rve given my order, you baldheaded
old cigar store sign, and want you to
get move on yourself, p. d. q. Rattle
snakes on toast"
"Rattlesnakes on toastF" cried JOB to
the cook In accents that would have
paralyzed Carl Formes had that old
basso profundo been living and heard
them.
"Rattlesnakes on toastr' was the re-
verberating response from the cook
upon receiving the order.
There were dozen or more people in
the restaurant, and their eyes were at
once turned on the young person from
the Bend and the Infatuated waiter.
In the meantime the cook had taken
big catfish and cut II into four strips
and rolled these strips In batter. so
that they much resenbled the Wand or
dered. and after placing them in tho
frying pan he stuck his head out Of the
kitchen and shouted to Job:
"You want them rattlers rare or well
done7"
The walter repeated the interrogatory
IN cyclonic way, and the terror re-
piled In as violent a tone and manner
as he could command, "Well done. with
plenty OF gravy and Chill Colorado"
And then Job Numbered TO the cook:
'TYell done. with plenty OF Chill Colo
RADIO, hot as -. az moccasin gravy
on the side and brochettes Of sand
crane livers and CHA monster lIghtsw
There was an lnstantaneously dead
silence in that restaurant and all eyes
were again cast upon the terror and
the walter. The former turned ashen
pale and began to weaken percepttbly,
while Job gased at bis victim.
Maybe you don't think we can serve
all the market Affords muttered Job.
Maybe you don't like moccasin gravy
or hFochettes Ia mode. Maybe you
amt hungry"
"Sayl You've got mel amt hungry,
so help me. couldn't eat single hard
boiled egg. Couutermand that burned
order old man, and I'll pay all OK.
penses and set 'em up as long as any
body can drink. Beg pardon, gentle
men, all. My first attempt to be ter
ror pardon me, gentlemen. It's my
last"
And then he handed bis revolver 20
Job and added:
'eTake that pistol. old man, as a
present and promise me that the next
time any burned fool comes in here
and calls for rattlesnakes on toast
you'll shoot him deadr'
But Straight was too raving mad all
the way through to willingly emerge
from a situation only tolerably tri
umphant. So he took the weapon Just
as the order was being placed on the
table and, pointing It at the terror.
exclaimed;
Now, then, my boy. dump yourself
Into that chair and eat them snakes
bones, skin and ailt'
The young fellow did as he was com
manded, but after finishing his repast
staggered the uncompromising Job by
shouting:
Il say, Badly, bring me another
plate OF snakesF,- Denver News.