The Ketchikan miner., 1907-03-16
LOCALCURIOS

Make provision for want in time of plenty.
 Patience is plaster that cures all sores.
 Praise without profit puts little in the pocket.
 -"Charlesn said a young Ketchi- kan matron who was fondling her first baby, ''isn't he dear little dar- ling?' "Yes indeed,' responded Charles, who isn't as fond of babies as a paternal parent ought to be ;'cost me nearly five hundred dollars, and isn't year old yet!'
 -"Oh, it was pitiful. In whole city full, :" there was none to sympa- thize with young married friend of Curio's who, on a very cold morning month or more ago, wrestled with a busted water pipe at his residence under the mortgage. First, he couldn't find the key with which to turn the water off-then he tried to hold the leak while the hired girl moved rick of wood in the woodshed searching for it. Then, when he got the key, he couldn't find the stop- cock at first, andswhen he did find it, it was the wrong key and the right thingumbob, or vice versa both ways -well they wouldn't fit, anyway Then he just stood there and tried to stop up that leak with very strong article of emphasis, while he sent the hired girl to neighbors to get a sharp bitted axe with which to cut holes in the floor to drain the prem ises, while his wife sat on as many chairs as she could to prevent them from floating out throuhg the win dows. The man in charge at the power house evidently thought there was fire somewhere, put on more pressure, and the way the cold fluid rushed through that leak would have frightened the boldest of old Noah's passengers. Emphasis, however, no matter how forcefully applied, wouldn't stop the hole, but did effect ually ''dry up" the plumber when he arrived on the groud with the proper key, which had been sent for. Who can wonder at some peoples very evident dislike of cold water, no matter how pure and wholesome it amy be-
 A melancholy looking fellow was in town a week or two ago selling books among them one entitled "The Sinfulness of Divorce,n and some young scamps sent him to the house of a woman who had been divorced from two husbands. The sad looking agent fingered in that house not longer than minute and a half by the watch, and then he came out in something of hurry, pursued by a stick of stove wood, a fire shovel, hymn book and a cuspidor. Then the wicked fellows who put up the job on the sad young man adjourned to a place where spiritual refreshments are dispensed in glassware.
 An Iowa paper says they are get ting their frewood up in Wright county, out of a tamarack forest thirty feet below the surface of the ground, and the wood, bark and branches are as fresh as though the trees had just been buried" " Every day the won- ders of the earth increase in number, and there is no telling where the thing will end. Curio imagines even now that he can hear the axes of honest woodsmen felling trees thousands of feet beneath the surface of the earth, and can see the hardy miners as many thousands of feet above it in balloons putting blasts into the chalcopyrite clouds and knocking the hanging-wall into smithereens. He can see the tough, weather beaten tar on the bosom of the broad Pacific ocean, a thousand miles off the Ore- gon coast, getting out of his fast sail ing steam craft or windjammer to rob a convenient melon patch, or to chase the cheerful and light-hearted shark to his lair in hollow log-and he aint very long on imagination either.
 It is claimed that real prime article of Limburger cheese, planted in limited quantities in the front yard or kitchen garden, will cause animals of the genus porcine to turn up their dainty olfactories in disgust, and drive them to other fields where the only alternative is ''root hog or die.' But then, we have no Quadru- peds of that kind in Ketchikan-only bipeds-and they are not so easily disposed of so this receipe will not be of much value to ourlocal readers,