Pleasantville weekly press., 1907-04-13

kicking
"Yes. Mrs. Perkins, you arc right.
My diary proves that you are right"
well. have we got furnace?'
II can't truthfnlly say that we have"
"And why not if you pleaseY'
Mr.. Perkins got up ard walked the
length OF the room three or four times
and pondered over the matter and then
sat down and said:
My dear second wife
''1'here you CO. she interrupted.
"YoE never miss an occasion to throw
that fact at me-"
Should Keep Wives Separate.
SOFTLY. dearest sometimes speak
of you as my second wife so as not
TO get you mixed up with my first
One should keep his wives separate
What ! was going to say when you
interrupted me with what seemed un-
due heat was that the husband who
won't promise his wife a furnace for
winter on one of the hottest days Of
midsummer has no philosophy about
him. We win mark that Exhibit A.
Again. within two days after making
the promise l ran across Johnston. He
is in the furnace business. l spoke to
him regarding the furnace, and he said
it would cost more to put it in than
the house is worth. We will class that
as Exhibit B.
Determined not to stop until had
all possible information, I figured on
the coal ] figured it down to a dead
certainty that it would take ten tons
Of coal to run it through the season
That would be placing ourselves in the
grip OF the coal barons. and we will
class that as Exhibit c."
at would take two months to install
the furnace. and during that time the
workmen would have possession Of the
house Exhibit D. my dear.
"Then l consulted all medical and
scientific authorities available, and I
discovered some interesting facts. Hot
air from furnace will cause numer-
Gus ailments. and is particularly pro-
ductive of pneumonia. 1t also causes
all the furniture to shrink and warp;
warranted to draw three legs OF q
sofa inside of month. That is 'Ex-
hibit E.
I'm one year the hot air furnaces of
America caused the destruction of 4S,-
900 homes. Coal stoves caused only 4
loss of about 230 We class that as
Exhibit f.
If we had furnace and 1t con-
sumed ten tons Of coal during the sea
son. there would be the ten tons to
feed in and the ashes from the ten
tons to take out and dump into the
alley. Owing to my lame back could
not do the work, and consequently It
would fall on you. Would 1t be right
for Il husband to put such burden on
his second wife? 1t certainly would
not. We put that down as Exhibit
G."
Il knew you would answer me with.
just such nonsense" exclaimed Mrs.
Perkins after standing it as long as
she could.
For five years, my dear, people
poked fun at Diogenes and said that
he talked nonsense. Today it is uni
versally conceded that he was the
greatest philosopher the world ever
saw DR.. Bombs, who is the greatest
medical authority in Europe. says OF
hot air furnaces, They are responsible
for rats. mice, cockroaches, bugs and
all sorts of germs and microbes In
face OF that. my dear, what was to
do? That is Exhibit H.
As to Exhibit ~
"0nce more. Gases are liable to acx
cumulate in hot air furnaces, You sit
here sewing, and am dow ntoWn try
ing TO raise the money 70 buy a ton OF
coal. All Is peaceful and serene. You
are totally unsuspieious of danger. All
Of sudden, without the slightest
warning and like bolt from the blue.
those accumulated gases explode with
a roar that is heard for half a mile
around. We mark that as Exhibit T.
"a great cloud Of smoke is seAu In
the air, with debris flying in every dr.
rection. The fire engines arrive The
is rung for. A great crowd
gathers. Fragments Of your arms and |
legs are gathered from the surround~
Ing roofs. Exhibit J..
Il have failed to raise The pluAka |
for the ton Of coal and an on M way