davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Western news., 1907-04-24
GOOD
Short rlStories
~~~~~~~~~~

An English vegetarian proposed to a
woman, whereupon she delivered her.
self Of the following scathing words,
Go along with you! What? Be flesh
of your flesh, and you a-living ON cab
bage? Go and marry a grass widow"
A young bridegroom, after the we'd
ding was all over and the brides old
father had gone off to the club, began to
search anxiously among the wedding
gifts. What are you looking for,
dear?' said the bride. THAT $4,000
check of your fathets," he said anx-
iously. II don't see 1t anywhere"
Poor papa Is so absent minded" said
the bride. HE lit his cigar with it."
Winston Churchill, the novelist, de-
scribed at dinner in New York the
difference between realism and roman
ticism In fiction: ITO make my meaning
clearer" Mr.. Churchill ended, II will
take the case of a young man and a
glrl-sweethearts. The young man, a
romanticist, said passionately to his
girl: Darling, 1t shall be my lfes one
purpose to surround you with every
comfort and to anticipate and crafty
your every wish The girl, q realist,
smiled falntly as she answered, oh,
Jack, how good of you, and all on 50
week. too"
The Western news., 1907-04-24
1t is recorded of the Earl of Mans.

1t is recorded of the Earl of Mans
field that he once dismissed servant,
but wrote for him Character" as
follows: THE bearer, John -, has
served me for three years in the ca
pacity Of coachman. He Is an able driv-
er and very sober man. l discharged
him because he cheated me-" A day
or two later the man returned to thank
his old master for the help he had af.
forded him In getting a new berth.
How had the testimonial helped him
The man explained that his new mas
ter had observed that ability to drive
and sobriety were the qualities he re-
quired In coachman. AS for the cheat
Ing, his employer had said: I'm a
Yorkshire man, and I'll be hanged If
you cheat me-"
The Western news., 1907-04-24
Flour Preserved by Compression.

In England much interest has been
shown of late by the army and navy
authorities In a new method of preServ-
ing flour by means Of compression.
With hydraulic pressure apparatus the
flour Is squeezed into the sorm of
bricks, and experiments are reported to
have shown that the pressure destroys
all forms of larval life, thus preserving
the flour from the ravages Of insects,
while it Is equally secure from mold
Three hundred pounds of compressed
flour occupy the same space as 100
pounds of flour in the ordinary state.
The Western news., 1907-04-24
One Year Old at Birth,

A Chinese child is considered a year
old at its birth, and its age is reck-
oned not from Its birth birthday, but
from It's New Years day. II 1t hap.
pens to be born on February 1, the day
before the Chinese New Years Day, II
Is said to be two years old when 1t IL
two days old 1t Is one year old when
born, and another year L. added on
It's first New Years Day.
The Western news., 1907-04-24
Cannot Ride Free.

The Nebraska state railroad commits
sion has issued an order to street
railways throughout the state to abro-
gate contracts made with the govern
ment for the carrying of mail car
rlers at reduced rate. Policemen and
firemen also are included in the order,
which prohibits the carrying of any
person at less than the regular fare, or
for any rate not open to the general
public.
The Western news., 1907-04-24
How'R ThiS7

We offer One Hundred DollarssReward toE
any case of Catarrh that cannot be cured b.
F. j. CHENEY d CO., Props, Toledo, O.
We, the undersigned. have known F. ).
Cheney for the last Is years, and believe hin,
perfectly honorable in all business transac-
fions and Fl n ancially able to carry out any OBJ
legations made by their firm.
WEST d TRUAx, Wholesale Druggists, Toledo, o.
WALD1Na, KINNAN & MARVIN, Wholesale Drug
Hists, Toledo, o.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally, act
ing directly upon the blood and mucous sur.
faces of the system. Price 75e. per bottle
Sold by all Druggists. Testimonials free.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
The Western news., 1907-04-24

ordered and passages of the secre-
tons too frequent On the advice of
my husband | began using Doan's
Kidney Pills. Since using two boxes
my trouble has not reappeared. This
is wonderful, after suffering two
years"
Sold by all dealers. so cents a box.
Foster Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
The Western news., 1907-04-24
1t UBually Does.

They're both thinking of a divorce
now"
"Why, didn't even know they were
married"
"Oh! yes, they were married under
the rose, you know"
"Ah! that accounts for the thorna"-
Philadelphia Press.
The Western news., 1907-04-24

The Japanese governments con-
struction program is to cost S3S,250,-
600, and includes two battleships, one
$4,000 tons, one large armorcd cruiser,
two smaller cruisers, three destroyers
and two submarines.
The Western news., 1907-04-24

ago, dropsy set in, and
my left side was so
swollen the doctor
said he would have
to tap out the water.
There was constant
pain and a gurgling
sensation around my
heart, and | could not
raise my arm above
my head. The kid
new action was dis.
The Western news., 1907-04-24
creat Room without Columns.

The largest room without columns is
said to be in a solid concrete building
of the mosque at Lucknow, India. 1t
Is 1852 feet long, 81 feet wide and SO
feet high. The timber mold was left a
year for the concrete to set and the
building, 122 years old, Is still unim-
paired.
The Western news., 1907-04-24

The man who is always complain
ing that the world does not give him
half a show is the fellow who is al
ways looking for a complimentary
ticket.
The Western news., 1907-04-24
Shake Into Your Shoes

Aliens Foot Ease. A powder. 1t makes tight
or shoes feel easy. 1t is certain cure
for sweating, caous and hot, tired, aching
feet. Sold by all Druggists, Price 25c:. Trial
package mailed FREE. Address Allen S.
Olmsted, Leroy, New York
The Western news., 1907-04-24
- Gentle Knock.

Gracious" exclaimed Mrs. Locutte's
quiet husband, that decollete gown Is
rather ultra!"
But don't I look we'll In itT' she
demanded.
Doubtless; but to my mind you're
too far out of it"-Philadelphia Press
The Western news., 1907-04-24

1t is disgrace to be poor if it is
your own fault.
A fashionable church" is a vesti-
bule to perdition.
The Western news., 1907-04-24

A lot of men imagine that they know
all about the financial question be-
cause they happen to know man who
lives next door to a bank.
The Western news., 1907-04-24
A MISSOURI WOMAN

Tells a Story of Awful Suffering and
Wonderful Relief.
Mrs. J. D. Johnson, of 603 West
Hickman street, Columbia, Mo-, says:
Following an operation two years
The Western news., 1907-04-24

The wife who really loves her hus-
band will always laugh at his jokes.
A laugh is worth a hundred groans
in any market.
The Western news., 1907-04-24
European Crop Report.

The European crop report of the de-
partment of agriculture, which has
just been issued, shows that through
out the greater part of Europe the
autumn sown crops have lain during
February under a covering of snow.
injury is said to have
been averted, the weather having
been everywhere more or less severe.
The Western news., 1907-04-24

Tito St. Vitus Dance and all Nervous Dis.
flIO eases permanently cured by DR.. Kline's
Great Nerve Restorer end for FREE
81 trial bottle and treatise. DR.. r. H. Kline
Id, 931 Arch ST., Phla., Pa.
The Western news., 1907-04-24

Truth Is a searchlight that makes
many man try to hide behind his
shadow.
The Western news., 1907-04-24

Satan is quite content with the re-
ligion that does not demand some
sacrifices from it's followers.
The Western news., 1907-04-24

The police of Butte have arrested
George Watson, whom it is alleged,
perpetrated several bold jobs as pick
pocket in that place.
Profanity is the drum major of the
whole parade Of sin
The Western news., 1907-04-24

Mothers will find Mrs Winslow's Soothing
Syrup the best remedy to use for their chill
dren during teething pcrior.
The Western news., 1907-04-24

The recording angel never has to
strike a trial balance.
The Western news., 1907-04-24

in any market
The pioneer express., 1907-02-15
The Corners Of the Home.

Few women realize the decorative
possibilities Of corners. The result is
that even in pretty and artistic rooms
the corners are too often left bare,
the walls being allowed to meet in
hard straight lines and nothing to
break the menotony.
In a small room it Is not advisable
to fill up or cut off these corners by
putting large pieces of furniture dag.
onally across them. for this simply
diminishes the apparent size of the
room. 1t will be found that hang
ing furniture will fill the need admir-
ably, for a small cabinet OF bookshelf
can be readily suspended, and by its
very construction serve to break the
awkwardness of the corner in a very
satisfactory manner.
OF course when it comes to hang.
ing heavier pieces of furniture, the
picture molding is found Inadequate,
SO screw-eyes, or ring bolts, are fas.
tened to the floor beams above.
The pioneer express., 1907-02-15
>Pussy's Dilemma,

A lady in Manchester, VT, is the
owner of a cat which she thinks is
the champion mouse-catcher of the
state. Before its arrival mice held
full sway at her hcme and on many
occasions she found it necessary to
take refuge on table or chair. The
day she got the cat it at once smell
ed the mouse and stood guard over
hole. A short time elapsed before
the woman heard the cat making q
noise. and going in to see what was
the trouble she found pussy much
bewildered. Two mice were. held
tightly in his mouth. while each Of his
front paws was planted on other mice,
making four that he had captured. It
was necessary to get the. aid Of q
neighbor Of the stronger sex to help
the cat in dispatching the mice.
The pioneer express., 1907-02-15
Easy Road to Miners Heart.

"The mining camp child usually de-
velops into the greatest beggar as a
class that child life ever SEES" said
H. d. Smith, of Milwaukee. II have
never been in mining camp yet
where there were children that one of
them did not stop me every now and
the and ask for some money or a piece
of ore. Their plaintive walls are to
be heard on all sides.
"A story is told of little girl in
Dawson who made it her custom to
ask every miner she saw for a mug.
get. She was cute little thing, and
her request was nearly always &C.
ceded to. After while she had 5000
worth Of nuggets collected in this
fashion. AS rule, the miner is q
generous fellow, particularly in gold
camp where the Inhabitants have pros
pered and where most of the men have
claims of their own. Nearly all of
them carry loose gold around in their
pockets and think nothing of giving
little chunks of it away.
''In camps where they are not thus
supplied with gold they usually are
free with their money and the beg
ging child is tossed anything frsm q
nickel to dollar. Duluth Herald.
The pioneer express., 1907-02-15
OF interest to Women,

Every woman naturally should be
healthy and strong, but great many
women, unfortunately, are not, ewing
to the unnatural condition of the lives
we lead. Headache, backache and a
general tired condition are prevalent
amongst the women of to-day, and to
relieve these conditions women rush
to the druggists for a bottle CT some
preparation supposed to be particular
ly for them, and containing-nobody
knows what. If they would just set
a box of Brandreth's Pills, and take
them regularly every night for time,
all their trouble would disappear, as
these pills regulate the organs of the
feminine system. The same dose al
ways has the same effect, no matter
how long they are used.
Brandreth's pills have been in use
Tor over a century, and are for sale
everywhere, plain or sugar-coated.
The pioneer express., 1907-02-15
500 Reward. 500.

The readers OF this paper will be pleased to learn
hat there is at least dreaded disease that science
aas been abe to cure in nll It's stages, and that Is
cure How known to the medical fraternity. Cntarrh
oeing constitutional disease requires conslI.u
lunal treatment: Halls Catarrh Cure is taken IN
surfaces Of the system, thereby destroying III.
snundation OF the disease. and giving the patieni
strength by building up the constitution and assist
ng nature In doing Its work. The proprietors have
20 much faith in its curative powers that they otter
One Hundred Dollars for any case that 1t fails to
cure. Send for list of testimonials,
Sold by all Druggists. 76c.
Take ilall's Family Pills for constipation.
The pioneer express., 1907-02-15
Sins.

Sins.
"Guzzler has an unpleasant way Of
referring to his wife as one of his
SINS"
"Oh, he merely means that she is
sure to find him out"
The pioneer express., 1907-02-15
Charm of uncertaintx.

There is lot of excitement in
running an automobile" said the
cheerful citizen.
"Yes," answered the man who smells
of gasolene, cit gives life the charm
of uncertainty. You never know
whether you are going to be late for
dinner or early at the emergency hos
pital."
The pioneer express., 1907-02-15
MRS. ELVA CARRIER EDWARDS

Wn0s 66vN oNuoSn GOWNUOo
There are three critical stages in a
woman's life which leave their mark
in her career. The first of these stages
is womanhood, or the change from q
care free girl to budding womanhood,
The second is motherhood, and the
third is Change of Life.
Perils surround each of these stages,
and most of the misery that comes
to women through i'll health dates
from one or another of these i'm
pertant crises.
Women should remember that Lydia
e. Plnkham's Vegetable Compound
made from native roots and herbs has
carried thousands of young girls over
the critical period of puberty, has
prepared mothers for childbirth, and
in later years carried them safely
through the change of life more sue
cessfully than any other remedy in
the world. Thousands of testimonials
from grateful persons, two of which
are here published, substantiate this
fact beyond contradiction.
Mrs. George Walters of Woodlawn,
Ill. writes:
Dear Mrs. Pinkham:-
II feel it my duty to tell you of the good
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound
has done me in preparing for childbirth
After suffering and losing my children a
friend advised me to try your valuable me-
dicine, and the result was that Ihad very
little Inconvenience, a quick recovery and
During it's long record of MOI
actual cures, entities Lydia E. Pi
the respect and confidence of eve,
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable c,
The pioneer express., 1907-02-15

Business in New York is different
from business In any other place. First
there Is more money to be made there,
as all the world goes to New York.
But there are thousands to compete
with-thousands who Know what bust.
ness means-theusands whe under.
stand business in all its phases. Sen
timent is a forgotten art. You are
obliged to stand BY yourself. to have
and bring forth new ideas and new
things quicker than your neighbor.
For the buyers see only what you
have to offer them, not who or what
you are. They care nothing for your
ancestors, they want their moneys
worth, and If you fail to give it to
them they 60 elsewhere.
If woman who has always had ev-
erything she desired, who has been
petted and made much of, who has
seen society from all its different
points, who has had everything that
position, money and youth could give
her, can simply forget herself; If she
is willing to be patient and interested
in all those who come to her and is
not afraid of work, that woman will
succeed.
1t is a hard lesson, but one that can
be learned If one is determined and
has only the one object in view-"to
be success no matter what obstacles
present themselves"
When you have attained that you
feel triumphant through and through,
and. when you look back at the dark
hours they seem almost brilliant, for
you know they have helped you and
given you energy-made you more de.
termined.
It is wonderful feeling to know
that you are Independent Of the world
and that you owe it nothing. What
you have accomplished is due solely
to your own intelligent efforts. mean
those who enter into enterprises of
their own and are not working on sal
aries That is, of course, quite an.
other thing.
In New York there is field for
every one, but in order to win one
must be, or strive to be, better than
the rest. It is like a stimulant and
inspires one to do well. The compe.
tition here is something undreamed of
elsewhere. Thousands of men and
women are In the same line as your.
self and they. for the most part hav-
Ing done nothing else since they were
born understand work in all Its
branches. The line that have taken
up Is interesting tonne, for I handle
what is beautiful work and once on.
ter the doors OF my workshop I am oh.
livious to ~ else but my work, dress.
Ing and stndying women. !"
s \ shall always / remember the first
time I saw awoman pass with some
|of the things on TINT I had made tor
lei. II seemed 70 unreal that L Wa.
almost q ~ ver1ls q sarrSi. but soonI
The pioneer express., 1907-02-15
A Good Thinc,

Your life preserver may be all
right" said the buyer for the steam
ship company, but it's so tlimsy
don't see how it can support any one"
"Well," replied the manufacturer,
1T has supported me and my family
for the past year."
The pioneer express., 1907-02-15

For a time, take Natures medicine,
Garfield Tea, it cleanses the system, pur.
ifies the blood and insures a normal action
Of liver, kidneys, stomach and bowels.
Made of Herbs.
The pioneer express., 1907-02-15
E.xplainea.

Il saw burglar get into the house
next door last evening"
Mercy! Did you give the alarm?
NO"
You didn't"
No. he has lived there for some
time and didn't know he was bur.
glar until he was arrested this morn
ing"
The pioneer express., 1907-02-15
Merely That.

"How will you have your eggs
cooked?" asked the waiter.
Some time before evening"" said
the man who had been waiting fifteen
minutes. 81 expect to eat another
meal to-day"
The pioneer express., 1907-02-15

WE PAY TOP PRICES FOR CREAM.
Cash every day. Write for prices and tags
The pioneer express., 1907-02-15

.all sentimental feeling passed and I
was very glad to SEQ many OF my
things worn-the more the better.
Women's wearing apparel 10 always
interesting, for one has to combine
colors, make models, handle beautiful
fabrics from all over the world, and
this is extremely attractive TO the
feminine mind. When you have sue
ceeded in making homeiy woman
with bad figure look less plain, or q
pretty woman blossom into greater
beauty there is positive excitement
in the experience. I believe nobody
really works well who is not obliged
to. II one is not always followed by
that fearful monster, necessity, ! do
not think one does as well. But when
one realizes that it fs imperative not
to be lazy, that each day counts, and
that II there is failure in that days
duty one win suffer later on, the
thought spurs one to more energetic
action, and the start is bravely made
in forgetfulness of storm or cold.
II a woman is obliged to work New
York is her best sphere Of action and
she should give herself entirely up
to the undertaking If she wishes to &C
complish anything. But If she can
take life easily then let her do so in
every sense of the word, for she will
then find it her duty to make herself
charming to those near and dear.
bringing comfort and happiness into
her surroundings and fetting the hard
ships of labor be borne by those who.
obliged to work, win not thus be un.
duly shouldered out Of the field. To
be sheltered and protected from the
ungracious side Of life is woman's
greatest blessing where this is posi-
BILE of accomplishment.
To women seeking employment in
New York will say that there is q
large field for all and If circumstances
make it imperative that work be done
every energy should be brought to
bear on whatever Is undertaken. With
determination to conquer all obstacles.
success will surely be won. Do not
enter into any line of work to pursue
1t as a fad or simply for something to
do. The world is full Of those to
whom work is a necessity and they
should not be forced to the wall by
members of the leisure class playing
at work. Whatever the undertaking.
whether in New York or elsewhere,
enter upon it with earnestness and
untiring zeal. To the woman who
does this, no matter what her bring
ing up or her previous status in the
world, there is inevitably before her
the great and beautiful word-success
The pioneer express., 1907-02-15

A horseman would rather admit
anything else than that he got the
worst of a trade.
The pioneer express., 1907-02-15
Unusual.

She-She is always talking about
her mince pies. Did you ever see
anything unusual in them?
He-Yes. saw shoe button in
one onee!
The pioneer express., 1907-02-15

WE PAY THE HIGHEST PRICE,
for butter fat in cream. Write for price.
Milton Dairy Co., st. Paul.
The pioneer express., 1907-02-15

It's not always the saving man who
has most chance of salvation.
The pioneer express., 1907-02-15
Feminine contrariness.

Feminine Contrariness.
Wedderly-My wife doesn't speak
to me now.
Singleton-What's the trouble?
Wedderly-She was singing 'T want
to be an angel" the other morning
and applauded.
The pioneer express., 1907-02-15

I06M OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES. l.UU
All for l2c postpaid in order to intro.
duee our warranted seeds, and if you
viii send l6c we will add one package, Of
with our mammoth plant, nursery stock,
vegetable and farm seed and tool catalog.
This catalog is mailed free to all in
tending purchasers. Write to-day.
John A. Salzer Seed Co., Box w, L.
Crosse. Wis.
The pioneer express., 1907-02-15

Or. J. H. RINpLAue, (spec,a.l.t,.
Eye, Ear, Nose and Throat.
Fargo, N. D.
The pioneer express., 1907-02-15
The Secret Of Human society

The Secret Of Human Society.
It is only because each man is so
different from his fellows that we are
able to endure one another's COM
pany.
The pioneer express., 1907-02-15
IL o,,,a,,
/. zroz.s, on Her
O1,,t, Resources.
What a Wsn,an brought Up to
Do Nothing. May Accomplish
Burying one's Personality
Sentiment q Forgotten Art" in
New Yosk-The Work Of Dres-
sing and Studying Women -
Members Of the Leisure Class
Should Net "Piay At Work"
t0opyr.sht, b 1ossph 3. Bovlse.l

/ CHrs. Bessie stewart-Hoolzer daughter
Of Senator Stewart Of Nevada, is hne
example Of what 10 possible OF accom-
plishment to q woman brought up in
wealth and luxury when by the turn Of
fortunes wheel It becomes necessary for
her to enter the list ef bread winners.
For some year previous to undertaking
her present line Of work, that Of importer
and buyer of women's gowns and lin
gerie, she conducted a chicken farm on
portion Of her fathers cattle ranch in
Virginia. Many Of her present patrons
are the women Of the millionaire set, her
ofd-time friends In society. when Castle
brilliant and lavish entertaining. But on
this factor she has not reckoned for sue
cess, having joined the worlds workers
from the common-sense business point Of
view.)
This subject Is a difficult one to
write about, since by many persons It
is viewed In many changeful lights.
who, having never been in trade and
knowing absolutely nothing relating
thereto, suddenly finds herself obliged
to earn her own living.
When one considers the matter, it
seems at first as IL there was abso-
lutely nothing that could be under
taken by a woman educated and
brought up to do nothing. Take my
own case, which is, think, the only
one really understand. It required a
long time and many experiments for
me to realize what was really capa-
BILE of. Having done SO. the next
thing in order was to bury my own
personality, to think of nothing but
my work and ultimate success. I was
not to spare myself in any manner.
was to have one object and to make
all aims and ambitions, every energy
and power Of the mind center In that
one thing. There was nothing I did
not study and sometime try, from run
ming stock farm in Virginia to writ
ing plays that were never accepted.
To undertake to write of the number
Of things I studied would take too
long. At last found that Of which
was really capable. It was the task
of conducting place where women
could find almost everything with
which to adorn themselves-since in
the world at large "women's dress is
always interesting"