davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1907-07-12
AS A NOTE OF COLOR.
The Office Boy Gets New Rating a.
Comedian and Theorist.

The once BOY SetS N0" naH"S -
Comedian and Theorist.
In the sombre fabric Of the business
world who is 1t strikes the pleasing
note Of color-the stenographer? Nope,
answers Montague Glass in Success
Magazine. 1t is the office boy. he
Is the unconscious comedian OF the
mercantile scenario. The humorous
Journals are filled with his doings, and
he figures prominently in the obituary
columns of the morning papers. Rare
ly does a successful merchant die but
what, among other life secrets, 1t Is
disclosed that he commenced work as
an office boy. and 1t is a fact that the
ranks of the millionaires are recruited
more often from the humble bench In
the outer office than from the halls or
|learning-this last euphemism for
colleges.
The writer at various times has at
tempted to extract-thats the word
from the office boys he has encounter
ed a confession Of their secret amoi-
tions, with such responses as Jaw, cut
II out" or "Wot yer tryin' ter do-kid
me?" One young man in the executive
offices of a railroad was more commu-
NEGATIVE.
"I useter tink I'd like ter be an en-
gineer," he said; "den fought I'd like
ter be brakeman; but now I'm get
tin so gosh blame lazy dat guess I'll
be a station agent"
1t seems to the writer that the ma
jority Of office boys feel keenly the
responsibilities Of their exalted desti-
nies, and resent accordingly any at
tempt to put them on record In
fashion that might mar the biography
of a captain Of industry.
OF all absolute misnomers, by the
way, Captain Of Industry" is the
worst. In the daily life Of the person
SO called, industry, save in the smok-
ing Of large imported cigars, plays no
part Even his coupons are cut by the
office boy. who. after all, first and last,
is the real captain of industry.
In dignity, when the office boy cares
to assume it, he surpasses the carriage
caller in front Of dry goods store, and
the cook herself is no more difficult to
fire.
i've quit" said the only hard-work-
ing member Of a newspaper staff-the
copy boy-to another of that ilk.
"Whaffor?" he was asked.
"Now-de old man insulted me-" he
replied.
"Wot did he do?"
"Now-he sez to me ten minutes ago
he seq cashier will give yer yer
time All so gets mad an quits,
see!"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1907-07-12
The lndexer.

A foreign tourist who had received
permission to visit one Of the large
asylums for the insane in this country
was surprised at the neatness, quiet
ude and good order that prevailed with
In the walls Of the institution. He
asked IL II was always like that, and
the polite attendant who was showing
him through the buildings said 1t was.
I'VE have what we csl our violent
wards, Of course, but / presume you
would not care to see those?"
II think not
1T Is just as well, perhaps. They
are rather noisy. although, Of course,
we exercise the same care in provid-
ing for the welfare of the inmates that
you see in this part Of the institution.
We also have a section where we keep
the incurables."
These inmates, then, are considered
curable?"
Their cases are at least hopeful"
II am greatly interested" said the
visitor, but will not take up any
more of your time. You have other
duties to attend to, have you not?"
Yes, sir this Is merely one of my
recreations. In one Of the rooms of the
main building l am engaged during
most Of the time in pursuing what may
be called my life work"
You life work? May l ask what
that is?"
Hadn't you heard?" said the at
tendant, in a tone Of establishment. Il
am compiling an index to Webster's
ictionary."-Youth's Companion.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1907-07-12
The Bolt Didn't Know.

Attorney General Jackson of New
York. was criticising in Albany a GER
tain excuse that had been offered him.
1T was a slim excuse" he said. 1T
reminds me of the excuse Of the light
ming rod agent
I'm the days when all the world
swore by lightning rods, a farmer had
two costly ones put on a new barn.
But only a week or two later there
came violent thunder storm, the
barn was struck. and In few hours
all that remained Of ii was a heap OF
charred black refuse.
Next day the farmer sought out the
lightning rod agent.
Fine lightning rods you sold me"
he shouted. Here's my new barn been
struck and burned to ashes!'
WHAT said the agent. Struck
by lightning?
Yes, sir; by lightning
I'm the day time?
"'No: at night. Last night
The agents puzzled frown relaxed a
little.
"'Ah,' he said 1t was a dark night,
wasn't it?'
"'Of course. 1t was said the far
mer. 1t was pitch dark
Were the lanterns burning
What lanterns"
1.-THE agent looked amazed. incred-
ulous.
why he said, you don't mean to
tell me that you didn't run up lanterns
on the rods on dark nights?
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1907-07-12
DR.. QaIer Iabooes Soup.

DR.. William Osler, to whom Is ac-
credited the oft-repeated and oft-de-
MED assertion that people should be
chloroformed after becoming sixty
years old, is bitterly opposed to the
drinking of soup, according to the
statements OF New York merchant.
My wife was a wreck from nervous
dyspepsia" said the merchant. "Sev-
eral prominent physicians In New
York had treated her without success,
and finally I was advised to take her
to Baltimore to see DR.. Osler. He in
quired carefully about her habits, and
particularly her diet. We described 1t
without going into details. but this did
not satisfy the great physician.
"Tell me what you have for dinner,
describing the nature Of the courses,
their number and so on" he insisted.
"'Well, usually We start with some
good, nourishing SOUP I began.
".Stop right there interrupted DR..
osler. Soup must go. There Is a
popular fallacy that soup is nourish-
ing. That Is a mistake. 1t Is one of
the most harmful things one can eat
1t Is worse than lobster. or course
there are times when a simple beef OF
mutton broth is not to be condemned
But as a rule soup Is positively dan
gerous. 1t dllutes the gastric juices
and 1t ferments too rapidly to permit
1t to be easily digested. 1t is the great
est cause Of dyspepsia and nervous
disorders. Vegetable soup should be
thrown into the garbage pail, where II
belongs, instead of being poured into
a delicate stomach. Half the nervous
wrecks among society folk who live
we'll are caused by eating soup
DIR. Osler gave some other advice
which was followed by my wife In ad-
dition to giving up soup. Soup is never
served at our table, and has not been
for four years. My wife Is we'll and
strong today, and she can eat anything
on the menu except soup."-July What
to Eat.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1907-07-12
ON BEING BORN POOR.
A Rich Man Worrying About the Fu-
ture of His BOYS.

do you know what's bothering me
now?" said a man who has made
himself rich and is fast getting richer,
addressing a reporter for the New
York Sun. It's wondering what Is
going to become Of my boys.
II have four sons. all young and
all wholesome, natural youngsters,
but If I keep on making money the
way I'm doing now I don't know what
Is going to happen to them when they
grow up. There's nothing like being
born poor to give a man a real start
in life, with his feet fairly planted on
the ground, where they ought to be-.
and he learning to rely on himself.
II was born that way and I've al
ways been grateful for 1t. If I had
been born rich I think / should have
been more or less Of a no account. !
had to go out and hustle and work to
get along, and the habit of work has
never left me since, as l hope 1t never
will.
But how is it going to be about my
boys? They may come to think that
they don't have to work, which would
be the ruination of them, or would
at least put them out of the running
with self-reliant, able men.
I'm sending them to public school,
of course, and there they learn heap
of things besides what they get out of
their books. They learn for one very
valuable lesson that there are other
people in the world besides them
selves, and that there may be plenty
of people smarter than they are, and
that they've got to work If they ex-
pect to keep their end up.
Boys are democrats. You can't
put on any lugs or airs If you expect
to get along with the boys in public
school. If you want friends you've
got to be friendly A good all-around
start in life 1t is for boys to go to
public school. and hope my boys Will
profit by it.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1907-07-12
Sunnrassed Information.

In a small town in the heart of the
blue grass region Of Missouri two vet
Grams Of the old guard were figuring
again the battles Of the sixties. says
the Kansas City Star. The grenadier
Of the north was shy an arm, while
the musketeer Of the south used a
crutch. The fact that they had fought
on different sides made not the slight
est particle Of difference In their friend
ship.
The Union soldier frankly admitted
that Lee was great general. Not to
be outdone in generosity, the southern
er warmly praised Grant for his per-
sistence.
ANY other man but General Grant
would have committed suicide after
the disaster at Cold Harbor," said he
who had been a rebel.
But he kept at 1t until Bob Lee had
to crawl back on Petersburg" returned
the Yankee a trifle warm.
Yes. and Grant paved the way with
his dead soldier!" said the southern
err his eyes glowing animatedly.
He got some few Of you fellows
while doing it." retorted the soldier Of
the north. grimly.
What about Fredericksburg and
Charlottesville? How many 'Yanks'
bit the dust there, eh?"
And how many 'Johnnies' at Vicks-
burg and Gettysburg" asked the Un-
ion man, sarcastically.
II don't care-take 1t altogether, we
killed more Of you fellows than you
did Of u.s."
But we did whip you-you got to
admit that"
Yes. 1 guess you did," replied the
southern musketeer. slowly. "but If
we'd a known how near you 'Yanks'
was played out we'd a held on one
more day, and then where'd you been,
/ like to know? You kept 1t hid from
us, you did, and that's the smartest
thing you did in the whole blamed
war;"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1907-07-12
STRANGE COLLECTIONS.
Peculiar Ways and Means BY Which
Money ls Raised.

Peculiar Ways and Means BY Which
Money Is Raised.
Money Is sometimes raised In very
peculiar ways, and for no less pecu-
liar and maybe deserving objects,
says London Tit-Bits. For instance,
some little time since the collections
at the morning and evening services
at the parish church Of Langwith Bas-
sett, Derbyshire, were made on behalf
of twins who had just made their ap-
pearance in the neighborhood.
They were the offspring Of a poor
widow whose husband had died only
a few days before. The sad circum-
stances naturally appealed very
strongly to the sympathies Of the
parishioners, with the result that the
collections together amounted to the
fairly substantial sum Of f12 Is. 1t
would have been difficult to devote the
offertory to a more worthy object
than the benefit of the widow and the
fatherless.
According to the Pail Mall Gazette,
a collection was. rather more than
two years ago. made in a place of wor-
ship in gallant little Wales for Il
very different object. 1t seems that
one of the Welsh regiments of soldiers
had been perambulating in the neigh
borhood for the purpose Of beating up
recruits.
The martial spirit for which natives
of the principality have long been
iustly famous seems to have been con-
spicuous by its absence from this par
ticular district, for only one solitary
recruit was induced to join. More
over, Judging from the after proceed
ings, he must have been sadly missed.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1907-07-12
ROMANCE OF A BIRCH.
Tree, a Soldiers Present to His War
Time Correspondent.

Time Correspondent.
In the wide front yard Of Captain
Joseph A. Humphreys, North Alabama
street, says the Indianapolis News, is
a large birch tree which attracts, by
its slender, beautiful trailing branches,
the admiration Of all passers-by and
the possession of which makes the
captain the envy Of all his neighbors.
It's called a Rochester birch" said
the captain, "at least that was the
name given to 1t nearly forty years ago
when l set 1t out. and there's a story,
YOU may call it a romance, goes with
that tree.
After the civil war was over, IN
which served four years and seven
months, and came out a captain, l was
at my mothers home in Missouri Sit
ting on the porch putting away at
meerschaum pipe which the boys of my
company had given me, feeling very
proud and comfortable. when two
young ladies happened along to visit
my sisters. One Of these young ladies',
dressed neatly in a calico gown, struck
me as pretty as a picture. She had
charming manners, and then and there
I made up my mind to know her bet
ter. My love-making was OF the whirl-
wind order. She couldn't escape, and
in a few days we were engaged Then
we were married. We came on to In
dianapolis, and in 1868 bought this
piece Of property.
During the war there was a good
amount Of correspondence between
girls here at home and boys In the
field They had never met each other
perhaps, but 1t was all very pretty and
and did the boys deal OF
good, serving to break the monotony
of camp life. My wife, who had been
a school teacher told me that she had
carried on correspondence Of this
kind with a young Ohio soldier whom
she had never seen, and when we were
married we wrote to him telling him
of our marriage and wishing him all
sorts Of good fortune.
well, in 1868, after we had bought
this place, we went to nursery FOR
lot of fruit trees to set out. 1t seems
the nursery was run by my wife's war
which we didn't know OF
at the time, and when he saw the name
signed to the order he remembered US.
So what does that chap do but send
that birch tree to my wife with his
compliments, also a variety OF rose
bushes, with the request that she plant
them in remembrance Of him and the
letters which had served to tighten the
dull hours Of his soldier days. so
there's the tree nearly forty years
old; there's the little bit Of romance
more than forty years old, and there's
Mrs. Humphreys sitting on the porch
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1907-07-12
At any rate, the Sunday after he

At any rate, the Sunday after he
had accepted the Kings shilling
the officiating minister at the church
at which he had formerly worshipped
rose at the appointed time and an
nounced the object Of the collection In
the following words:
"And now, my brethren, we will
take up a subscription to buy the
discharge Of our unfortunate young
friend who has recently Joined the
army" 1t was pity the amount TAX
en- was not likewise chronicled.
Concerts have been held to raise
money for all kinds Of objects at diff
ferent times, but probably the strang-
est was that for which such an enter
tainment was organized at Brierfield,
in northeast Lancashire, some time
ago. The concert was widely adver-
tised and with quite refreshing can
dor the advertisements stated what
the object Of the promoters was.
This was nothing more nor less than
the raising of sufficient money for the
purchase Of a wooden leg for one Of
the members of the congregation, un-
der whose auspices the concert took
place. 1t only remains to be said that
it proved a success and that the sum
Of AZ was realized by it for the object
in view.
In the first year of the present GEN.
tury one Of the Paris newspapers; the
Presse, created a mild sensation by
setting on foot subscription for quite
a unique object. 1t was to provide
Queen Ranavalo, the ex-sovereign Of
Madagascar, with a new real Paris"
dress.
The unfortunate exiled queen had
complained to some Of her friends and
sympathizers in the French capital
that she had not had new dress for
three years.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1907-07-12
THE ROAD TO FORTUNE.
Ono Boy Who Struck It by Making a
Good Job of Sweeping.

Good Job of Sweeping.
1.-THE best boy 1 ever hired" said the
store manager to a New York Sun re-
porter, was one chanced to see once,
sweeping off a sidewalk.
You know how many boys, and
many men, for that matter sweep a
sidewalk. They leave a streak Of dirt
here and there, make poor Job Of 1t
generally, and pay no attention to the
passersby. They are slack and indif-
ferent and they do whatever other
work they have to do you can make up
your mind, in just the same way. But
this boy that Pm speaking Of was max
ing another sort Of a job Of 1t.
He dug into the corners up by the
building and made it nice and trim
there, and then-working quickly, too
without losing a minutes time, he
swept the sidewalk absolutely clean;
he kept his eyes open, had some
thought for other people beside HIM
self and some sense Of responsibility.
He was a worker and a good worker.
You knew he'd do whatever else he
had to do in just the same way.
About three months after that we
had occasion to hire another boy, and
curiously enough, as it seemed to me,
that boy applied for the job. He didn't
need any other recommendation to me
than the work I'd seen him doing,
sweeping that sidewalk, and we hired
him on the spot, and he's been with
us ever since, advancing steadily.
What? No, he isn't a partner yet,
but he's getting on: and you can set
1t down as a simple fact that any boy
you see making a good square job of
sweepili. off q sidewalk will do we'll
Anything he undertakes"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1907-07-12
IMMIGRANT REORGANIZATION.
why Scandinavians Prefer to Speak
ENGLISH After Their Arrival.

Enalish After Their Arrival.
Among the immigrants themselves
the process Of Americanization is some
times extraordinarily swift, writes
Brander Matthews in the Century. II
did not take long for Gallatin and
Agassiz and Schurz to make them
selves at home here, and the less Gift
ed and the less well educated foreigner
has an even stronger incentive to get
out Of his old-world shell. When the
late Prof. Boyesen went to Minnesota
he was surprised to find that his fell
low -Scandinavians preferred to speak
English even to him; and 1t was ex-
planned to him that the use Of their
native tongues would reveal their
peasant origin, and thus testify to
their social inferiority to gentleman
who had been graduated from the Uni
versity Of Upsali, whereas the use OF
English lifted them all to the lofty ta-
bleland Of American citizenship.
The process Of assimilation, Y
work now under our own eyes, was
visible also to our fathers, and to our
forefathers Indeed, there is no strong
er phenomenon in all the marvellous
history Of civilization than this very
process-than this AmericaniZation of
countless aliens, generation after gen.
Grafton, with no violent modification of
American ideals Three centuries ago,
"men Of sturdy English fiber began to
come in search Of mental, religious and
economic freedom" as an acute STU
dent of social conditions has phrased
II Daring men in search Of new ex-
periences came as adventurers and
discoverers. Men of moral daring
came in search Of religious and civic
freedom. Men of industrial and COM
mercial daring came in search Of larg-
er opportunity. These men estab-
lished ideals and set standards and
created tendencies for a nation" These
standards, these ideals. these tenden-
cies still survive after almost three
hundred years. modified a little, no
doubt, but developed only, not radical
l." transformed, and never renounced.
The American of today, whatever his
descent, has most Of the characteris-
tics Of the American Of yesterday.
Ideals endure, and aspirations have not
been blunted by time or turned aside
by alien influences.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1907-07-12

V. s. and D. ..

Some one wishes to speak to you
over the telephone, DR.. Barnard" said
the call boy Of the hotel where the
new minister and his wife were stay
ing temporarily. "Oh, yes!" said DR.
Barnard in response to a lady's voice
which announced, II am Mrs. Wegg."
DR.. Barnard was not surprised. fol
Mr.. Wegg had asked him to deliver an
address before the Y. M. c. A. and he
had promised reply in few days.
"Oh, yes" he answered, and waited
for an inquiry concerning the address
The inquiry came. but it was little
different.
''win you please tell me-" asked the
lady pleasantly. where can have my
poodle dog trained?"
well, en-, eh, really, Mrs, Wegg,
don't think l know" replied the as
founded clergyman. He was used to
all sorts Of demands, but this was the
strangest yet.
you don't know? Why, isn't this
DR.. Barnard?"
yes"
"And you can't tell me where I can
get my dog trained?" the lady persist
ed.
mo. I'm very sorry, but don't
really know" replied the minister
apologetically, but II you'll wait a
moment I'll try to find out for you"
he added, rejecting that this was a
new parish, and Of course II he was
expected to know about poodles-
He asked the hotel clerks assistance,
and presently returned to the telephone
He was greeted by the sound Of much
excited masculine voice demanding,
please let me have the line a moment,
Mrs. Wegg!"
It was the embarrassed Mr.. Wegg
who spoke, and who at once began to
offer contrite apologies to the clergy
man with the explanation that the
wegg family had two sets Of telephone
instruments and that at the precise
moment when Mr.. Wegg, below
stairs was calling DR.. Barnard, the
clergyman, Mrs. Wegg, upstairs, was
calling DR.. Barnard, the veterinary
surgeon.
1t was a strange coincidence, and
rather an unfortunate one, Mrs. Wegg
thought. Still, 1t might have been
worse-if, for example, her husband
had asked the veterinary to address
the Y. M. C. A.-Youth's Companion.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1907-07-12
APPLICATION FOR
FINAL DISCHARGE.

I'm the 14th day Of June. 1907, I
~ file with the Probate Court for
York County, S. c., my Final Return
as Administrator of EMILY E.
WRIGHT, deceased; and this is to no
tify all persons concerned that on the
18th day Of July. 1907, at II o'clock
a. m., shall make application to L. r.
williams, Esq. Judge Of said court, for
a discharge from all further liability In
connection with said administration.
HERBERT l.. WRIGHT,
Administrator.
AZ It,
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1907-07-12

"a London has twenty-seven cabs
and five buses for every 10000 inhab-
itants. Paris has forty-eight cabs and
only two buses for the same number
Of people. Naples has fifty-five cabs
per 10000 persons: Genoa has ten
buses for every 10000.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1907-07-12

sT At one point along the Australian
coast the line Is unbroken by any
stream for nearly 1000 miles.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1907-07-12
Legal Blanks
and Forms

ASSORTMENT no BE FUND Al
THE ENQUIRER OFFICE.
The following Blanks in approved
forms, on good paper stock, may be
had at The Enquirer Office:
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Lien and Mortgage on Crop
Promisory Note
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Title to Real Estate
Subpoena Writs
Subpoena Tickets.
Prices on any Of the above In guam
ity upon application.
l.. M. CRISIS SONS.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1907-07-12
Ths iJurkrills Gaqairsr.
Entered at the Postoffice as Second
Glass Mail Matter.
Published Tuesday and Friday.
PUBLISHERS
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o. e. GRIST,
A. NJ. GRIST
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Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1907-07-12
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HICKORY GROVE, 8. O.

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