Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-03-24
ANSWERS TO
CORRESPONDENTS

n
I'm this column will be answered all questions Of
a proper nature submitted TO The Star inquirers
should t write on one side only and address their let
ters Uncle Jasper" Star Office. In case OF di1.
cult eonundrums answers may he delayed for a
week or two Consequently II may be advisable for
MRS. J.-Dear Uncle Jasper, what do you
tmnk OF man who hasn't spoken to his
"ife In hfteen years? A.-We'd like to have
All the racts before We pass an opinion.
Maybe he didn't want to interrupt her.
r. A. SIS 1t true that Speaker Cannon
Is splendid conversationalist? A.-Un-
doubtedly Uncle Joe can say please pass
the butter and put many verbal high
lights around the remark that it sounds
like something else
u III DATE.-Cncle Jasper. was there
| anything new in the political situation last
week! A-Lots, Roosevelt indorsed Taft,
FAIRBANKS was elected President and For
aker defeated by Burton-all in print.
MAtRICE-Is it not unusual for n man
as old as Chancellor Day of Syracuse Uni
Versity to have an attack of the humps?
Alt is. as you say. rather unusual. but
particular instance. Chancellor Day has
had lots of trouble with his Jaw before this
M1RIAM.-Is 1t true that John u Rookie
Teller intends to have his soul weighed by
the newly discovered method? A-Well
we have heard that John was having n
special pair of scales constructed Those
In existence at present will not weigh less
than 10000 of a grain
b. J. ks 1t known why President
Roosevelts fourteenth denial OF the third
term rumOr was so much more emnba,Ic
than any of the others? A-Between the
thirteenth and fourteenth denials he was
lndorsed for third term by Senator
Chauncey Depew Of New York. Circum-
stantlal evidence is grand thing
RESIDENT.-Have there been any cases
Of brainstorm In Washington recently? A.
Our better half came home the other day
with an imported hat. When saw the
bill we had something. 1t was either a fit
or brainstorm, with the odds in favor
of the latter. Millinarious obligato.
JAMES-Dear Uncle Jasper. what is a
mollycoddle? A mollycoddle Is a male
person who drinks milk and vichy out OF n
mint julep glass. eats spinach because It
Is good for the complexion and says I'D
dlesticks and fudge when greatly pro-
voked.
REb1G1OUS.-Do you consider Uncle Jas
per. that there Is any danger of the spread
of polygamy in this section? A-Not ON
your giddy life. At least not while the
present scale of prices continues and SAN
ity resides in our midst.
Not the least Of Teddys achievements
When all has been done and said,
To JUMP ne through %a and ,,
dead" anu ''a'
I. l.. O.-Is It true that a Virginia scien-
fist has invented an apparatus which will
raise the dead? Ave cannot confirm
this story. We do know, however that
William Jennings Bryan is very much In
terested in the report and has wired for
full details
ETHEL-Dear Uncle Jasper. Is II really
true that spring has came? Ayes. little
one. 1t are. Our latest advices from the
front assure us that the fly paper and
stickum factories have begun operations.
FRANK SMITH.-Uncle Jasper. DO you
not think that cowslip is beautiful? A
We do not. We were too near one once
and stopped the bucket For short time
We resembled milk weed.
Said a treasury clerk in Chicago:
''f1l take this money, cause / NeedftsoI
I'll put 1t In my sock next my Greatbigto,
And I'm hanged II let even Wilkieno."
nearly got the Panama canal contract, uses
the term ''whangdoodled." How about itf
AIR Oliver said that out of difference to
President Roosevelt. 1t Is the simplified
way of spelling "stung"
UNCLE JASPER.