The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-02-25
BRANCH oFFTcEs.-

Hon. John Hawkins. coastwise mem per from Cremloosa County, tells ms old friend and constituent of the speech which will make him famous.
 Montgomery, Feb 2S, 1906. Dear Old Bill:
 It is all settled now that we are go- ing to have a split session. We are to adjourn Saturday and come back m June It is all right with mel can see much difference. except that we II all be harassed to death during the interval of innocuous idleness by our once trustful constituents who are sure to want to know why we did or diuh do something, and to propose thous- and impossible things for us to do when we meet again. Well. at least, I have not raised a scandal. l don believe anybody but the newspaper fellers know I am in the darned thlhS' and sometimes 1 think they have for- gotten. Do they still remember me down home, Bill?
 We have just about shod the barefoot boy, and I am afraid he can't wear the soles out in time to give us the proper oratorical fulminations to carry us through June. You know old Doctor Pepsin says there aint but s700 in the world. and that he saw 1t all; I want to see him when l tell him what we have legislated out in the past week or two for the little Johnnies and the bIue-eyed Sues Before l left nome he said I would soon be as big rascal as the rest of them, and now he will say I can outlie the best. We are million dollar Congress, Bill-that sounds big.
 Billy. lad, the fun is just starting for me. l confess-and this ain't cam paign literature-that l wasn't always certain in my mind when they were regulating railroads. fixing tarifs (which until 1 came here. l thought was what smugglers were for) and the like. which a coastwise person can't hardly know about. They did It in such a queer way. They never would get up and say, let's charge everybody 2 1-2 cents to ride on the railroad, but they would introduce bill entitled an act to repeal an act to amend an act entitled an act to do something else. Then
 Let me tell you:
 MT Speaker, offer a bill making 1t Illegal for stock to run at large in Union Precinct, and providing penal- ties for the same" says one man.
 MT Speaker. l propose an amend ment," calls another.
 Mir Speaker, I move to lay them both on the table" says another still
 MT Speaker, I move to amend the amendment" cries another.
 'sYou can't amend an amendment" says MT. Speaker.
 .'Ffe can't?" roars the maker of the amendment. well. then, I'll do it-- t.symine and I guess you can't stop messn
 "You can't. either" retorts MT. Speaker. You are out of order"
 "Sit down in front" jeers fellow in the back of the hall
 "Question" Lay it on the tablet" What is the question:" Where is my amendment" Somebody laid it on the tabler' Question: Question:" "I move the adoption of the original motion to table and place upon final passage the motion to table the amendment to the amendment.
 And it appears that the ayes have it, and the motion to adjourn prevails" " says Mir Speaker, and 1t is all over. didn't know anybody had said any thing about adjournment and I am somewhat of parliamentarian Bill. what would you do up here?
 But the fun is just commencing for me, for I am going to make a speech. There are two bills that l am going to talk about at the same time; the Jesse James Bill and the Coca Cola Bill. Mir. Speaker-that isn't his name, but his entitlements. though he says less than almost anybody in the place except me-introduced the Jesse James Bill. because, he says, performances of train robberies and the like demoralize