davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09
Telephone Manners.

A member OF the Texas Legislature
Is determined TO improve telephone
manners, and to that end has intto-
duced n bill providing that IL any per-
son shall, while talking to another
person over the telephone, curse or
abuse such person or use any vulgar
or abusive language TO such person
connecting him, or any Of his female
relatives, in any manner calculated to
provoke II breach OF peace. he shall
be deemed guilty of a misdmneanor.
ana upon conviction thereof shall be
fined not less than 80 nor more than
$500.
4 81 The telephone is the most provoking
OF all modern Inventions yet II may be
used as u means OF grace, We knew
or no better exercise for the cultiya-
ton OF patience and amabllity, II one
will only learn 10 be patient and anna
ble with his telephone, he win attain
10 such state Of perfeu!on as &c
make job look like 8 common scod.
1.-THE telephone also affords the moan.
olHcultiyaiing tho virtue OF comsidcra
ton. First, we should have considera
ton for the OPERATOR At times st
may pe provoking. but think OK IN
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09
Rhymes for To-Day
The Celibacy of Uncle William.
ssNVIHY didyou uneven marry, sir2'
" Stys to my Uncle Bill.
.a Wv AMI ,,rp1o Tia si,rbs opf

sSXVIHY did you never marry, Sir2"
wv Suys I to my Uncle Bill.
e w And uncle lie signs and
nouns and cries
And l,ollers Mt to Kill.
"Them days was so bad" llc wecps,
most sad,
II don't think Of them mono no moro
But since we is pnrds ~. twas
them picture postcards
That made me bncheldore.
I
II was bctrothed to Il sweet miss once
But ali! She went OF trip!
Sho sont mo q card from the station
yard,
She sont me n card from the ship.
She had tho habit my lad, you sec
SllD couldn't a-bcur to not:
And everywhere that sho trippod to,
there
she nailed mo onc-gross lot. .
"sle sont mo cards from tho Scottish
Shards
From Cork sho sont some moro.
Ditto from Rome, Berlin and Nome,
From Hong Kong and Lahore: !.
And every mail brung u pultcct hall
From every place she stayed:
And tho worst OF 1t We're, OIL tneln
cards from her,
THO most Of them come short-paid.
"Thcy give tho postman some eStry
But still them cards poured In
Till I, by Heck! was u nervous wreck
was wore so pale and thin.
So I give her tho slip by moving away
And we wasn't engaged no more:
And thus, old pard, twas the picture
postcard ,.o.
i'"N II. S. II.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09

throughout the two acts in which he
appears Tho bulk of tho work falls
on tho shoulders OF these three. and
they prove themselves equal to 1t. For
q stock production the staging Is ex-
ceptionaly complete. There will DO
nigh: performances tho rest of this
week and Il matinee Saturday.
It will be good news to all the pa
irons of tho Academy to know that Mr..
Fawcett has secured the rights to Hall
Gaines THE Prodigal Son." and Will
produce 1t there next week. me play
has been considerably revised and
strengthened, and Is now said to be ono
of strong human interest.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09
No. 1905.
No. 1906.
Claudio and the Duke.
(From "Measure for Nleasure.")
BY SHAKESPEARE.
(From Measure for Measure

Duke-Be absolute for death; either death or life
Shall thereby be the Reason thus with life:
lose thee, I do lose a thing
That but fools would keep: a breath thou art
SerYilc all the ssycy influences,
this habitation, where thou keep'st
Hourly aflict: merely, thou art deaths fool;
For him thou labor'st by thy flight to s1un
And yet runnst toward him still. Thou art not noble;
For all the accommodations that thou bearst
Are nursed by baseness Thou art by no means Vaant
For thou dost fear the soft and tender fork
OF a poor worm Thy best of rest is sleep,
And that thou oft provokest yet grossly fearst
Thy death, which is more. Thou art not myself
For thou existst many thousand grains
That issue out Happy thou art not;
For what thou hast not still thou strvest to get
And thou hast, forget'st. Thou art not certain
For thy complexion shifts to strange effects,
After the If thou art rich thou art poor;
For, like whose back with ingots bows,
Thou bearst thy heavy riches but journey,
And death unloads thee. Friend hast thou none;
For thine own bowels. which do call thee sire,
eRusion OF thy proper loins,
DO curse the govt, serpigo, and the rheum,
For ending thee no hast youth age;
But, as 1t were, after-dinner's Sleep
Dreaming both for all thy blessed youth
Becomes as aged, and doth beg the aims
Of palsled eld and when thou art old and rich,
Thou hast neither heat, affection, limb nor beauty
To make thy riches pleasant What's yet IN this
That bears the Of life? Yet in this life
Lie hid moe thousand deatls yet death we 1ear,
That makes these odds all
Claudio-Ay, but to die. and so we know not where;
TO lie in cold obstruction and to rot;
This sensible motion to become
a kneaded clod; and the delighted spirit
To battle in fiery floods, or to reside
In thrilling region Of thick-ribbed ice
To be imprisoned in the viewless Winds
And blown with restless violence round about
The pendent world to be worse than worst
OF those that awless and Uncertain thoughts
Imagine howling:-'tis too horrible
The wcarest and most loathed worldly llfe
That age ache penury and imprisonment
Can lay nature, is paradise
To what fear OF death.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09
Harris
Anti-Dyspeptic w
'PHoNE 1882.

+. A. Norris Co., Inc.
Gontlemen.-I have used the HARRIS
ANTI DYSPEPTIC WATER for the past
year. and have found 1t very beneficial
to me- Before commenced to use 1t
j suffered a great deal with Sick Head
ache and Flatulence Since began to
use 1t have been almost entirely relieved
of these troubles. do not hesitate to
recommend 1t to any one who is u suf-
ferer from Indigestion.
j. RAND. WELLFORD.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09
POINTS FROM pAnAGnApl1ERs.

s4x zen ~. : me n;
Wv mond Times Dispatch. Perhaps,
wing seen so many, me 1ines- 'lse'atuii
Htd not spend as much time In the society
asu ,tn Governors Of North and South Caro-
lima as it should hare.-Wnshlnstoh lief-
aid.
Governor Hughes. Of New York, does nov
socn 10 have the support Of ANYBODY put
the people in his fight against the po!,ticni
gangs Of both parties-!ph'aae iess'
The wagging Of the Stead tongue tehds
IN create a belief that perpetual mot1on IL
something more than an idle fancy.-fh'l-
adelpha Ledger.
Age cannot wither the infinite variety OF
an actress husbands.-New York Mail.
Senator Depews solemn statement ina
tho Republican party always tells tne INV
shows that he Is; still entitled TO respec'
and consideration as one OF our ii'os' spo'i
tancous humorists. sui''
with Mr.. Carnegie combining the charnc
Tor Of American citizen. Scotch ialr ana
cheyalier of the French Legion OF Hohor u
ia small wonder that he geey. COSMOPOLITAN
enough to undertake the roe OF inaktt't
peaco for tho Notwithstanding Displtch.
ya Moo, q Celestial writer, insists tina
sha ,rrncks grew in china 1000 years befor
,ho christian era, but II the almond -eye'
brethren are wise they will not attempt t
| snort them on the 18th OF lrclahd.-NeV
York Herald.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09

Hon. George r. Murrell, former
member OF the House Of Delegates
from Bedford county, was in the city
yesterday Mr.. Murrell is one Of the
most prominent frult-growers in VIZ
ginia. lie called at the Department. Of
Agriculture during the day.
Hon. e. W. Gaines. one OF the menu
bers OF the House of Delegates from
Norfolk city, was here yesterday He
said he would stand for reelection at
the coming primary.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09
Busy.

busy. 49,.
And now tho days once more are he'o'
we married men all learn
AS soon rs signs of rain ap'ea'
To carry out the fern. ,,,o,,
A Fuux Pas.
.you hove n dozen fellows at your feet,
Miss Mabel" 80,
'1s there room for one more
ington Herald.
Him.
Ascum: "Did shea actually ask old Rox-
ley for his daughters hand! ,,,oa
Wise: Yes, and he claims ms ;. no eo''tA's'''>'
the old man to toe the marx
Ascum: You don't say! ,r,
Wise: Eyes, but he was the mark.-Ihe
Catholic Standard and Times.
The pncllydcrn,s.
~ thought you wanted to play with thost
Uttic rhInoceroses," said the mother MP
popotamus. What is the trouhlef
II don't like 'em. mamma" biuboered
the young hippopotamns They're toe
Revised.
,"June,' asked Mrs. Hiram Often, "art
tho eggs boiling?" a.,
new servant. lately from Boston, but
nav safely say tho water in which the egg:
are immersed is."-Philadelphia Press.
The Apt Pupil.
The philanthropical Fifth Avenue lau
was Visiting lower East Side Sunday
school, To test the aptness OF particu
| larry INDECENT cluster OF pupils, she tooi
| tho class in hand to question them.
"Children, which is the greatest Oh al
vlrtues?"
| Not one answered,
"Think little. What Is 1t am doin
when give UP time and pleasure TO com o,,
down among you for your moral good
| grimy hst went up, ~,
well. what am I doing. little boy?''
! "Buttin' in!''--I.ife.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09
DR.. Hunter Mcclure

Tho late Dir. Hunter Mcclure told
me that the Otterburn Lithia- Water
ranked next to the Buffalo, l HAYS
been using 1t for years With the great
est satisfaction, and consider It tho
best water OF its class on the market
Eugene G. Massie
For Gale ny THAW & GRANT.
'pnono 2a4 1901 u, Main
Five gallons for Sl.OO
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09
EXPOSITION

CASH PAID FOR OLD BOOKS, OLD
MAaAz INES, 1900 TO 1870; ENGRAVED
PORTRAITS, PAINTED MINIATURES,
OLD MANUSCRIPTS, ETC, DESCRIBE
WHAT YOU HAVE. WILL CALL, CITY
OR COUNTRY.
p, 10. Boxsto. RICHMOND. Va
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09

This suicide wave Is cheating tic
railroads ont OF lots OF victims,
Mr.. lIearst's personal platform Is no.
ticenbly parti-colorcd. s
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09
A Word for the Dairyr1en.

1t is very far from the purpose Of
The Times d ispntch to create the i'm
preston that the milk which Is SOLD
III this community is generally I'm
pure, or that dairymcn in general are
careless and Indifferent. In point OF
fact, we believe that the dairymen, as
a class, have the same pride in their
business that other mon have in their
occupation, and take such precautions
as, in their judgment, are necessary
from becoming infected. Aside from
the question OF pride and honesty, it
is business for them to do SO. They
cannot hope to make q success if they
lievo that most of tho milk sold in
Richmond is as tlcan and pure as that
sold in other cities.
But Investigation shows that in some
cases reforms are needful, and the
public health demands that they be
made. 1t is tho duty or the Board of
Health to make the rules and regula-
tons. and it Is the duty Of tho dairy
men to observe them. II they Will all
cooperate with tho board IL an hon
est cndeavor to keep the milk pure,
away, and the people will drink more
milk. There is no prejudice against
pure milk. Such cooperation, there
fore, Is clearly in the interest OF the
dairymen.
Complaint is made to Tho Times
Dispatch that some of the rules Of the
Board OF Health are unreasonable anl
unnecessary, and that if they arc en-.
| forced numbers Of dairy farmers vii
be compelled to go out Of business
That is q subject on which we arc no.
prepared to speak. But II these rule!
be necessary to insure pure milk they
must be enforced, let the consequence
be what they may. We cannot believe
however. that any rule Will be mad,
or enforced which is not necessary
| DR.. Levy Will have conference wit
the dairymen Tonight and there vii
be visiting expert, who will so int
the subject thoroughly. II the dairy
men will meet the Board of Healt
in Il spirit Of liberality, they may
sure of meeting tho same spirit in re
turn. All hands have tho same objcc
in view. and there is no occasion fo
friction,
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09

John L. Sullivan is to he married
very soon. We always knew that tho
old fellow would so back TO fighting
some day
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09

Riding on the cove catcher of q loco
motive will cure consumption" says a
Russian physician. And every othcl
known complaint.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09

Mr.. Roosevelt Is said to have mate
rial on hand for fourteen new books.
not one of which, for a guess. Will
concern itself about the tariff,
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09

massachusetts "Old Home Week"
promises to be q great success. There
are lots of old homes in Massachusetts.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09

Baltimore's new mayor-olect is hon
J. Barry Mahool. Wonder II Barry pa
radcd on March II last?
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09

Cuba, having mobbed a baseball UNI.
pire, ought now to be formally recos.
nizcd as n world power.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09

AT this writing, former senatol
spooner's shoes ara still advertised t
let.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09

The rhaw home in PittsburE has boon
mortgaged. 1t is to be hoped TINT there
was at least one good deed around the
place.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09

Senator Dopew wants to give women
tho vote, seemingly not realizing that
they might cast it tho other way.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09

Charleston, S. c.. Is having Schu-
etaenfest IT is said 10 be a very nice
schuetzenfest, indeed.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09

Where does Taft stand?" queries tho
Commoner Well, doubtless in the
street-cars for one place.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09

Corey's associates complain that nc
doesn't spend enough time at the office.
Well, corey always did do most of his
spending outside tho Office.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09

Now Barbara Krupp. second daugn-
ter of the lato Cannon King, is ai7o
to marry a poor man. The lSrupp girls
seem to have but ono use for big
| guns.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09

Judge L. L. Taft, of Cleveland, o.,
spent yesterday in Richmond as tho
guest OF Hon. S. l.. Kelley. Judge TART
lis n relative of Secretary TAFT, and Is
on his way to the Jamestown EXPOSE
ton. He was driven through the city
| III IN automobile by Mr.. Kelley, and
was entertained at dinner in the even
| ing.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09
Poems You Ought to Know

occupation however
witt
refresh
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09

a Georgia man owns seven distil-
leries and two sugar mills, all work
ing We fear that he would be no fit ac-
quuintance for these modern Carolina
governors.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09
eoplc Seen
in ublic Places

Captain J. w. Williams, lormcr bail
III of the State Corporation Commits
sion, who Is running for the House Of
in his old county Of South
ampton, where he was sheriff Cor many
years, was in the city yesterday, an!
said he did not think he would have
opposition for the nomination. This
view was fully shared by Judge ]. Il.
Prince, tho present member. VINO VIII
not stand for recollection, aud Messr6.
Story and Edwards, who Wcrc hero
the other day to urge Governor Swan
son to appoint Mr. w. j. Sebrell. OF
Southampton, to succeed judge IfentlS
as Judge of the Second Circuit. II
Captain Williams shall be unopposed,
as now seems very likely. there are
three Democratic candidates for the
House practically nominated. Indeed,
two nomination. have actually been
made. One is Hon. II. D.. Hunt Of
Roanoke, who won in a recent ptl-
mary, and the other Hon. Richard
Evelyn Byrd, of Winchester, who has
been declared the nominee or his party
by the committees OF l'rcde' lex county
and tic city OF Winchester.
Judge w. Z. Homes. Of Meoklenburs
county, Is in the city On legal busl-
ness, and is stopping at Murphy's.
A history of what purports TO be the
Oldest newspaper in the southern
States was learned last night from
Captain B. c. White, special field agent
and cotton expert of the United States
Agricultural Department, who is stop
/, Ing at Murphy's Hotol. Captain White
said that his attention had peen called
| 4 EN- y,Yt
lished at the head OF the editorial
columns of the Augusta, Ga, chron-
| cle:
"The oldest newspaper i'll the
Southern states. Established 1875,
and published continuously for
more than l21 years.
| "Hnving been born and reared in
| alexandria, Va, and knowing that the
old Alexandria Gazette had some pre-
tensions to wearing the srizZled head
of many, many years, l thought
would investigate" said Captain
White. MY Investigations showed
( that the first record Of the Alexandra
/ Gazette dates from 1884, from recort
In the office Of the clerk Of the court
ordering an advertisement to be pub.
lishcd four consecutive weeks. Mr.
Samuel Snowlen, grandfather of tllt
pIestHI tulloi, iaubcll A'iio"dSi4' 90
sumed full ownership in 1900, and i
has been in the Snowden family fol
about los years, and is still
1.-THE fact that the advertisement re
fcrrcd to was ordered to be published
in tho Gazette shows that 1t was II
existence in 1854. and 1t behooves tn
Augusta (Ga.) Chronicle to alter II
notice and make it read Next to tn
Oldest newspaper in tho Southern
,, States"
Colonel a. =. Andrews, Of Raleigh
: N c., first vlce-presldent Of the South
ern Railway; Mr.. w. G. Rodman, o
, Charlotte, and Mr.. S. p. Patterson, o
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09

Entered, January q. 1908. a, Richmond
Va, as second class matter. under act OF
Congress Of March 8. 1879.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09

\ deceased Connecticut woman Lett
her servant an estate worth $4,000.
Tho striking thing about this anecdote
is that the servant had not left her
first.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09

up and paid his respects to NUM-
ber Of Eagles in the city last night.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09

Judge w z. Homes. Of Meokienburs
county, Is in the city On legal busl-
ness, and is stopping at Murphy's
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09

Persons wishing TO communicate with The
Times. Dispatch by telephone will ask cen
trail Cor "4o4l," ana on being answered from
the office switchboard Will indicate the de.
partner, or person with whom they wish
TO speak.
When calling between a. NJ. and .
A. NJ. call to central office direct for 4Oil.
composing room, 4042 business Office; 4o43,
for mailing and press rooms.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09

Mr., James M. johnson, of Seattle,
Wash, is in the city on his way to the
Exposition Mr.. johnson
is member Of the mother lodge Of
Eagles, which order had Its birth in
Seattle about ten years ago. Ilo looked
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09

And now tho days once more are he'o'
We married men all learn,
AS soon rs signs of rain appear
TO carry out the fern. ,,. ,,,o,.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09

Mr. r. NJ. Anderson, of Norfolk, is
stopping at the Hotel Allen.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09
5A,p Mu,rg Bilspatfh
INSTRUMENTATION.

business Office .........e1S %. Main street
washing ton bureau. 1927 Munsey Buiidihs'
Manchester Bureau........1io2 HUI street
Petersburg Bureau .....4o n. sycamore ST.
51.ynchburr Bureau ,........al5 Eighth st.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09

The waggine Of the Stead tongue tehds
tn create a belief that perpetual motion II
something more than an idle fancy.-phil
adelphia Ledger.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09

Colonel A. 3. Andrews, Of Raleigh,
| N. c., first vice-presldent Of the South
lern Railway: MI. w. G. Rodrlan, of
Charlotte, and Mr.. S. p. Patterson, Of
Raleigh are at the Richmond.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09

by MAIL. ono six Three one
gs POSTAGE PAID. Year. Mos. Mos. MO.
Daily With sunday, 5000 $500 si.bo 80
Daily without sunday 400 2.oo loo 'ss
sunday edition only. 200 100 80 ,a1
Weekly "Wednesday, 100 80 20 -
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09

HOW TO CALL rlMEs-p1srATcn.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-09

Age cannot wither the infinite variety OF
an actress husbapds.-New York Mail.
The advocate. [volume] (Charleston, W. Va.) 1901-1913, 1907-07-11
FEW RIVALS FOR JOE CANS
NOW. 5,@."" ,
blackburn Only Man at the Present
) Time Who Would BE q Worthy

Joe Cans is finding his field of en-
deavor narrowing more every
month. He is much superior to the
ordinary run of boxers who are now
IN the field. There is only one boxer
now left in the United States who
can give Cans anything Hike an ar
gumet. 49,
Close students of boxing. could new
or see anything in the work of Bat
Ting Nelson which would entftle
him to be considered In the same
class with Cans, and he bout at To-
Hopah :" proved the truthSaiuess of
this theory. There would be no in
terest in another match between
these men, and 1t is not 1fkely to be
ever seriously considered by any SEN
sible matchmaker or club owner.
Britt was an easy mark for Cans, so
easy, In fact, that a foul had to be
worked up TO give a little snap to
the affair. ..#f
The advocate. [volume] (Charleston, W. Va.) 1901-1913, 1907-07-11

leather. Those: who have won hi,
confidence say he poSsesses an elan
crate assortment of scaips and that
ne shifts from o1feWig to another, as
his hair Is SUPPOSED 10 grow. Final.
~ comes the hair cut when suddenly
he jumps; back Into JKig. No. 1 -.
Lest the natnrai &ebon of his feat
ure should dispute HIS claim of Indi-
an ancestry he 5is said to tint his
skin with sort OF Sbron8e paint do
ing 1T so skillfully sEhat he has ,fre-
quently posed to artists FOR ,!"color ~
President Roosevelt has. freouentlv
dlnsd with this Indian" lion: Once
when he was Governor of New York
state Roosevelt invited him and Gem
eral Leonard Wood to dine with him.
Antonio told the President that he
was a graduate OF Harvard and
aroused such, interest An his host
that the latter Piled him earnestly
with questions, ~Antonto's. auswers
however, were always so prompt that
the future President, turning to
Wood, said: .....G., - 4
Here certainly is a fine type Of
American. Indeedl; this fellow is the
real American, the. kind that can be
developed out OF a race@which is so
generally considered. to- be decay
ing : 80.
Since that time the-President has,
1T Is said, frequeptlNs hadaalks with
Antonio in the Whife House, in
which the two have dise1&sed Indian
affairs. .~ - -.l1-.-s:.,s..