Connecticut western news., 1907-10-10
GROCERY ORACLE
 AND THE GHOST
THE FRIGHT OF THE BURGLAR

The Scare of the PoIiceman-The Wo-
 mans Rights Meeting and the
 Mother-in-Law-Ghost Couldn't Use
 United States Money Where he
 Traded.
 'I see be the pa-a-pers there be a hanted house near Sharon and nobody can't be got to move into it,, said the corner grocery oracle. 1T don't take no sthock in mon what's afraid of a ghost and folks wouldn't be if they knowed 'em as well as me and me brother William knowed lem whin VIC wuz a Twin out in the wist. We moved into @ town where there was jist one empty house and that was empty be- cuz ghost used ter walk around in it every night, so the folks said Me and me brother William told em we hadn' t niver associated much with ghosts but we want afraid of 'em and if that was all the matter with the house we'd take | it.
 Now a ghost is one of the best fellers livin' if you know how to take him so we moved in. Twas the night after we got sittled that me brother William was took with the gout. He was lyin' awake in the bed when in walked the ghost without openin' the dure. Me brother William looked him square in the eye and sez, sez he to the ghost
 How are yer"
 "Perty tolerable, sez the ghost. Why aint yez aslesp?" .f......
 "Gout." sez me brother William.
 "I'll cure it' sez the ghost and he rubbed his hand over the feet of me brother William and walked out through the wall
 l The nextlmornin' me brother William got up well man. The next night he walked into my room where set readin' letter from the old counthry.
 "Chilly night" says to the ghost.
 ''So 'tis," sez he.
 Have somethin' to warrum ye up, ," sez I.
 Don't care if do," sez he and he walked to the sthand, took dhrop of the chraythur and walked out through the head of me bed.
 The next time just as he come in, me and me brother heered noise down sthairs. We took our guns and stharted down, the ghost taggin' on behind. We opened door and found a burglar stealth everything he cud lay his hands on. Me brother William was just goin to put bullet into the hide of him when the ghost grabbed his arm and sez: '.Lave him to me-" He walked in and laid one of bis cold, clammy fins onto the nick of the burglar and near scared the life out O him. Then he whipped out a knife the length O me arrum and sthabbed the ghost onct or twice. When he found he want hittin' nothin', he dropped his bag, give yell jumped out O the windy and don't know whether he's stopped runnin' yet or not. We found jist thousand dollars in that bag and when we looked around the ghost was gone.
 In them days me brother William, had a hired girrul and every night they Wuz a policeman 8 oallin' on her and they nearly eat us out O house and home. Me brother William put up job with the ghost to walk in on 'em one night and there hain't been no policemen there since. One day me brother found out the woman's rights society was to meet at the house that night. It had got so that a women's meetin' of some sort bein' held there every other thing and me brother William wuz git tin tired of it so he got the ghost to ap- of ye ever seen. Ye couldn't hire one O them wimmen to come into the house again.
 One day me brother William got 8 letter from his mother -in-law sayin' she wuz comin' to spind three or four months with him. The blow near killed William fer him and the old lady didn't git on nothin' extra and twuz nearly paralyzed he wuz till he hap pened to think of the ghost and the first night the ould woman was there he got the ghost to walk into her room and set down on the footboard of the bed. The ould woman wint home the mkt day and didn't come back while me brother William lived in the house. He wanted to pay the ghost fer that job but No sez he. United StaGes money hain't no good where I thrade.
 nivver knowed ghost to take such shine to mon as that one did to me brother William. Night after night he come to visit us and the night he wint away he pointed to a place on the wall. looked at William and then sez he ''Look there, left it there years ago." Me brother William tore out a piece of the wall, found $5000 in little box and bo houca far o ,,~oro ooro ba-