Bonners Ferry herald. [volume] (Bonners Ferry, Idaho) 1904-current, 1907-09-14
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Don't take any notice OF the cook,
Maria" But. John, she's just given
It ~-Baltimore American.
do you regard that mans argu-
ments as soundT' "Yes," answered
Senator Sorghum; 'that and nothing
else. Star.
Mr.. Tlller-You see, the wind was so
fierce that our yacht sail was torn to |
ribbons Miss Lighthead-Ah! see
sail Of remnants ILLUSTRATED Bits. |
Kind Old Gent-whst do you mean
by saying your occupations gomez Soul |
weary Samuel-They've pulled down
the house l used to lean against--Ally
Sloper.
She-Ske lie always talking about her
mince pies. Did you ever see anything
unusual In themf He-Yes. l saw a
shoe button In one once i-Yenkers
Statesman
At the Fair.-Glve me the lunch
basket, WHEY. Don't you zee we are
sure TO lose each other In this crowd2
Translated from Tliegende Blaetter
for The Literary Digest.
what do you intend to do with your
sutomobile?" THAT doesn't concern
me-" answered the nervous man. THE
question is, What is my automobile go
ing to do with meT "-Washington
Star
Dear, 1 will have to get new dress
this fall, and they say checks will be
much In demand for costumes" I've
never known time since l married
you when they weren't."-Baltimor
American.
Schoolmaster Cat end of object les
SOM Now can any of you tell me what
is water? Small and Grubby Urchin-
Please, teacher. waters what turns
black when you puts your 'ands in 1t
Dundee Advertiser.
Visitor-Well, Ethel, are you going
to paint pictures like your father when
you grow up? Ethel should like to.
but mother says one artist in the family
J., is quite enough for any poor woman to
! put up with.-Judy.
Wears Wife (sympathizlngly)- Now
> that you can't get about, and are not
D able to read, how do you manage to
; occupy the time? Old Maxwell, mum,
sometimes l sits and thinks; and then
u again l just sits.-Punch.
- Mother Cat end of story And an
angel came and fetched him away
dear. Dear (who Is going to party
that EVENING" We'll, If an angel should
l. happen to call for me this afternoon
please tell him Pm out.-The Taller.
: Ascum-I notice you're very atten
tive to Miss Roxley. Have you re
ceived any encouragement? Hunter
= | should say so. l received authorize
, tive information that she's worth a
e least half million dollars.-Exchange
A Question.-At a teachers confer
e ence in Berlin one of the school princi
pals rose to propose the toast, "Loni
= live the teachers :" ION what?" In
aulred a meager. pallid, young assistan
instructor in a hollow voice.-Harper'
y Magazine.
Mrs Caller-What Is your husban'
doing now? Mrs ShiftlesS-He's 20
n mathematical job at present Mrs
Q taller-Mathemat job? Mrs. Shift
q less-Yes. He's trying to figure on
y slme way to live without working
chicago News.
, "Really-er-I'm afraid you ovei
q heard what 1-er-said about you,
: Hammered the gossip who had bee
4 caught red-handed. Perhaps I-er-
y vas bit too severe" 20! no." re
/ Piled the other woman, "you weren'
;. aearly as severe as you would hav
"A oeen If you knew what l think Of you.
= Philadelphia Press.
:. The schoolmaster asked the pupils
n Suppose ia a family there are FIVE chi
p iren. and mother has only four potatOe
z between them. Now she wants to Civ
II every child an equal share What
- she going to do?' Silence reigned
: the room. Everybody calculated yer
e hard, till little boy stood up and CAV
. the unexpected answer. MASH IL
,, potatoes. sir."-Christian Register.
! Speaking of accommodating hot
!. managers" remarked a traveller, I'll
n best ever met was In a certain Mi
"A land town. l reached the hotel late
N the evening. Just before l retired
A. heard a scampering under the bed al
~ saw a couple of large rats just esca
AZ ing. l complained at the office. II
"a manager was as serene as a SUNNI
ne breeze. IN make that all right, si
d. he said. johnson! Take up a cat
N room % at oncev"
a. One Drawback