The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1907-12-27


men get along with each other and
women get along with each other"
said the observant waiter, "and no
body aces more of Il than we do here.
You see. people get tired Of the table
dhote dinners with the pink ink. and
pretty soon they come In here to us.
Now. one OF our portions Is plenty for
two, so there are great many OF our
men customers who have been dining
here for years and splitting portions.
They get their dinner for just about
haH price in this way, besides having
the pleasure of each others company;
but just let me tell you how the
women manage that One example
will be- enough.
"A little black-eyed woman came
here several times alone. She ordered
several portions of things and left
half of each on her plate.
"She was pretty liberal with her
tips and hated to see what she paid
for going to waste like that, so
said To her one night as she was leav-
ins:
Why don't you bring a woman
friend with you and divide the por-
tons? 1t would be much cheaper
It's a good idea, she said L be-
lieve | will
"Sure enough, the very next night
in she came with woman friend,
tall, handsome woman who would
have made just about two Of her They
seated themselves and the tall woman
ordered cocktails. She told me exact
ly how she wanted them, never saying
a word to the little woman about how
she wanted them. ] looked at the lit
tie woman and she nodded to me in
such a way as to lead me to believe
hat the tall woman was treating and
she must sit there and drink anything
she wanted to drink, whether she
liked il or not
when they had finished with the
cocktails the big woman picked up the
card and said:
THAT filet Of sole is nice here. We
must have some Of that
Yes said the little woman, and
| brought the fish.
Next the little woman picked up
the card and said timidly:
Here is chicken. Don't you think
it might taste good? l am awfully
fond of chicken
With that the big woman frowned
and said:
"'No. l had chicken last night.
Waiter bring us some of this mutton
The little woman smiled at her
ard said, L should think you'd be tired
IF mutton just coming from England.
they made me eat SO much of it over
here ] almost began to bleat,' but the
Dig woman just looked over her head
~ somebody on the other side of the
'o0m and said
"'No. l never get tired of mutton.
| like it
The little woman left more than half
her mutton on her plate, and when
thu big woman asked her what else
sba'd have she said, Nothing, thank
you
Then the big woman motioned me
to make out my bill, and | thought,
of course, she was going to pay it all,
because she had done all the ordering,
but no. The little woman said:
I'll pay my half, according to our
agreement, but so long as you have
your pocketbook open, pay and We'll
divide up when we get home
Now, that would have been all
right if it had been two men, but not
so with two women. The big woman
drew herself up till she might have
made three of the little woman and
said firmly:
mo. Well pay right here!
THE little woman's cheeks got red
as fire, but she didn't say anything.
Instead, she took out her purse and a
roll of bills from it that was about the
size of your fist, and began to look for
a one dollar bill. 1t was two dollars
between them. l wish you could have
seen the tens and twenties she unroll.
ed looking for that one dollar bill. |
believe she did it on purpose to para
lyze the big woman.
The next night the little woman
came back by herself
Your friend didn't come with you
tonight / said to her as l pushed her
chair to the table and brought her the
ice.
NO said she. 1T didn't work.
shan't try it again, either. You have
to eat what you don't like sometimes
when you are married, but you don't
when you are not Did you see her
make me eat muttong"