Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-12-01

sentry duty one night when a friend
brought him pie from the canteen.
LAS he sat on the grass eating the pie.
the major sauntered I'D in undress. The
sentry, not recognizing him. did not salute,
and the major stopped and said:
What's that you have there?
Pile said the sentry. good-naturedly.
Apple pie. Have bit?'
THE major frowned.
"'Do you know who ann he asked.
mo said the sentry. unless you're the
majors groom
1.-THE major shook his head
Guess again. he growled.
The barber from the village"
"'No.'
'Maybe'-here the sentery laughed
maybe you're the major himself?'
That's right. I am the major was
the stern reply.
1.-The sentry scrambled to his feet.
Good gracious" he exclaimed. Hold
the pie, will you. while I present arms" I"
Mr.. Carnegie's Joke.
Andrew Carnegie" said a Pittsburg
millionaire, ''enjoys, joke hugely. One
of his jokes made me laugh on M last
visit to Skibo Castle.
"Mr. Carnegie was entertaining at the
time a Montenegran prince. The morning
after the princes arrival we set out in a
huge motor-car for long run, and as we
whizzed past an inn great crowd of
Highlanders rose from the benches before
the inn and saluted US.
1.-The prince seemed amazed at the High
land dress.
why he asked, do these men go
bare-legged?'
gle; a mark Of respect for you, sir. In
some places people take off their hats to
show honor to distinguished visitors;
here they take off their trousers
Suited to an Anarchist.
Cornelius " Collins, New York's super
intendent Of state prisons, said at recent
dinner in Troy:
Then there is the faddist type Of prison
warden, the man with some hobby or
other that he quite runs into the ground
II know one such warden. 1t is his hob
by to give to his prisoners congenial
wordsworth which they like and are &C.
customed to.
HE said one day to a new convict:
Young man, I see that you are SEN
fenced to hard labor. Now in providing
you with work I shall take your former
occupation into account. What were you?
piled.
"'Ahem,' said the warden. turning to
his assistant; then we will put this man
to road blasting"
Sausage la George AIDE.
George AIDE, in an address to the
graduating class of Taunton cooking
school, amused his fair hearers not lit
tie by the recital o. some burlesque
recipes. The following were among them:
Homemade Sausage.-Take five pounds
of end steak at cents a pound. and
pound 1t with sledge till it looks like
red currant jelly. Pass it through the
clothes-wringer four times, and then let
the little ones play with it till it is quite
tender. Cook 1t in the oven till it Is
brown, and, II you are expecting your
husbands mother. burn the bottom.
"Onion Salad.-When the man isn't look
ing. take a strong, healthy onion and kill
it. Drive out the smell with a hammer
Serve.
Cream Cheese.-Get a quart of milk
and skin 1t. Take tub and drop in two
flies. Let the milk stand in the tub till
1t is tired. and then dig a hole in the
yard and lay the cheese in the hole. and
build a wall around 1t so it can't escape
Then, in three months time. when the
cheese Is gray, wrtnkled and infirm, grab
1t by the back of the neck and eat it
quick.
Bean Soup.-One bean, four quarts
water. Add two quantities salt and sit
up with bean till 1t dissplves. H at and
serve. If you take in boarders, add more
water"