The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1907-05-29
A DISTINGUISHED
NEW MEXICAN.

The following is from the Afbuquer-
lue Journal of a recent date:
Bull Andrews, born of distinguished
Holstein Fresian ancestry, was born
at an early period in his existence in
Darkest Dutchdom. Pennsylvania, and
has therefore always been popularity
Known as a Native of New Mexico. He
was employed while a boy On the farm
If his father, and while there obtain.
ed much valuable experience in graft
ng which proved handy in after years
After leaving the ancestral Pasture,
Bull went to Coal Hole, a small town
IN the back side of a Coal Chute,
where he secured employment in a
nine and during a period of three or
tour years obtained that facility for
Working in the Dark which has stood
him such a good stead While. acting
as Doc Boy in the mines ne also fell
into a habit of B~ull-dozilg which ne
has never fully outgrown.
At the age of fifteen Dur hero enter
I'd the Pennsylvania College of Prac-
teal Politics from which he gradual
I'd with honors, his valedictory ad-
1ress being on the subject, "A soft
footstep turnetn away the Cops" He
then entered a rubber factory where
he learned to Stretch the Truth and
where he donned his first pair of
Gum Shoes, which he found so servic-
able that ne never after vent without
these useful adjuncts of Political Pres
tige. The young mans ability soon
attracted the attention of Senator
Quay, upon which he began to rise as
if he had eaten Yeast. He served as
Chairman of the Republican State Cen
raj Committee n the sessions OF
that body became so quiet that they
were dubbed Political Prayer Meet
ings. All members were required to
wear Gum Footwear and the carpets
Of the Committee room were heavily
padded. He Sloucned Unobtrusively
into the State Senate, the members
of which Immediately put their Gold
watches in the Safe and had the Gold
Filing taken out of their teeth as a
Measure of ~Precaution. After making
A Smooth Record as Chief Lubricator
of the Quay Machine and interviewing
a number of Mi1ions of the law, the
Enterprising subject of our sketch
took a fast train between two days
for New Mexico, where he built a Rail
road and was Railroaded into the Leg
stature. He hen stole quietly into
the Delegates Shoes, and placing an
extra large pair of gums over them,
went to Congress, where he won ths
Plaudits of the entire country by OBJ
1lolo " oOAAA "oA~O
Smith and Bill Brown. After making
a short trip to Pittsburg to ofhciate
as Chief Mourner at the fun
eral of T. Lee Clark, Cashier. Bull re-
NAMED quietly in Washington until
Congress passed a bill to build a build
ing and By Hockey believing that he
had paved lust into the eyes of the
Common Greezer, he returned In trt-
Imph to New Mexico, where he was
reelected by the largest Sheep Vote
ever registered. Coyotes at the time
having forgotten now to bark. He Ia
ter assisted a certain Major to Purge
the Party by administering to the Pre-
sident daily doses of Bulls Sugar
Coated Purgative Pills for Perpetual
Party Purity. During this period
our hero wore out Eighteen pairs OF
Gum Shoes and five Stone White
House Back Door Sills. Returning 10
his Native City. he was greeted by a
Monster Procession consisting OF Lit
tie willard. and STAFF and was some
what amazed to find that during his
absence the coyotes had been doing
considerable figuring and had Multi
piled Remarkably. the continued
barking of the Coyotes disturbed the
Delegates Slumbers to such an extent
hat he then left for Parts unknown.
This brings this interesting Chronicle
I'D to date and is a Good Place TO
CtOp