davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-11-19
HUMoR OF THE HOUR
Expert Opinion.


A Philadelphia life insurance agent
was on his way to New York the
other day when prosperous appear
ing man asked if he might share his
seat, the train being crowded. Pres
emily the two fell into conversation,
and the agent skillfully led the way
round to life insurance.
'By the way, don't try to conceal
the awful fact, you know, l am an
agent. Would you mind my talking in
surance little? 2" he said.
"Not at all. Glad to hear you. Fire
away" the other said encouragingly.
And the agent talked. 1t looked like
a good thing. He used all the argu-
ments he had in stock, likewise most
of his breath. Finally he paused.
pretty good line of lingo, but moth
ing new" the other commented Pm
disappointed.
Huh" the agent inquired in aston
ishment
eyes. You see, I'm an agent myself
and | had hoped l might get few
new ideas from you, you see" -Har-
per's Weekly.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-11-19

Housekeeper-How does it happen,
Jane, that you never saw finger bowls
before? Didn't they use them in the
last place you worked?
Jane-No, marin. They mostly wash
ed themselves before they came to the
table, marm.-New York Life.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-11-19
COMMISSION
PROTESTS
The Retiring Board Of Fish and
Game Commissioners Pre-
sent Final Statement.
THEY DID THE BEST THEY COULD

The retiring Board of Fish and
Game commissioners which was under
fire during the sessions of the Assem-
bly, investigating committee has sub
mitted it's last annual report to Gov
ernor Stokes. In it's last official utter
ance the commission takes occasion to
complain of the way it has been treat
ed by the public generally and to as
sert that its members have been gull
ty of no wilful wrong-doing or mis-
management of the business entrusted
to it. 1t also gives it's own version
of several of the matters which were
taken up by the Hahn committee and
which, according to the report, were
treated in an unfair and biased man.
ner.
The report says, in part: Your
commission during the past year has
been made the subject of a great deal
of criticism and unfavorable comment
which would not have been developed
had the facts been known"
The report defends the Commission
with reference to the $1,000 annually
appropriated for the maintenance of a
fish hatchery. 1t has been claimed
that the Commission had no fish
hatchery. The Commissioners claim
that the appropriation was for the
maintenance of hatchery and the
propagation of fish and game, and
that the money has regularly and
properly been used for the double pur-
pose.
The report defends the actions of
the Board in many other respects.
Commissioner William A. Logue, of
Bridgeton, does not concur in. the
views expressed in the following para
graph contained in the reports
I'VE have no desire to reflect in any
way on the intentions of some of the
persons who during the past year made
this Board the target for their vituper-
alive attacks. We know that some
were impelled by improper motives,
which led to perjury. In the interest
of the protection of fish and game we
trust that our successors in Office will
be permitted to continue the work
they have undertaken without being
subjected to attacks the apparent OBJ
jects of.which were, in the absence of
any wrongdoing, to distort facts, until
a semblance of wrongdoing had been
shown. Attacks which are conceived
in desire to injure, regardless of
truth, are not calculated to assist con-
stituted authority in the enforcement
of the law, and the appearance of evil
is frequently as bad as evil itself. .
The report concludes as follows:
In conclusion we desire to say that
we have always endeavored to serve
the best interests of the state. We
accepted the office knowing that it
would take great deal of our time to
attend to it's duties and that our only
compensation would be the conscious
ness that we had contributed our share
towards the preservation of fish and
game, in which we felt an interest
sufficiently to warrant US in the ex-
penditure of our time and our means.
We did the best we could and if we
have failed to come up to what was
expected of US it was for lack Of abili-
ty and not for lack of ambition. We
are quite willing to leave the result
of our work and efforts to the judg-
ment of an intelligent public"
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-11-19
The Gambling Fever.

"Oh, Jack, you know those gloves
paid $3.50 for? Well, was Mortified
the next day to see they had been re-
duced to $2.67. And what do you
think? They're away up now to $2.9S.
Wasn't it lucky kept them ?"-Brown-
ing's Magazine.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-11-19
The PRINCIPAL Sufferers.

"Well. Maria. the crash has come.
I'm ruined man. We will have to
sell the automobile"
I'm so sorry, Henry"
"Sorry for me, Maria?'
mo, Henry. Sorry for the repair
shops and the DOCTORS" = Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-11-19
Evolution In Literature.

Friend-How'd you come to write
that best seller?'
The Modern Lit'ry First was
struck by thought, epigramized the
thought sketchized the epigram. play
lied the sketch. novelized the play and
advertised the noyel!-Puck.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-11-19
Am n Is.

at seems to me that modern theater
goers rarely get the worth of their
money when they invest it in the aver
age show"
'.Why not?"
Because, after all, it only amounts
to star gazing. Baltimore American
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-11-19
How It's Done.

Mrs. Post-But how. do you avoid
making visits that you don't want to
pay?
Mrs. Parker = Well, I always send
word that I'm coming.
Mrs. Post-Yes?
Mrs Parker-And then they always
write back that they won't be at home.
Judge.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-11-19
Always Around.

Stranger-I see this hotel is advertis-
ed for sale with fixtures. What are
the fixtures?
Clerk Two dudes, one broken down
nobleman and seventeen summer girls.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-11-19
ono to Follow.

"I'll give you good two foot rule
If you want 1t" said the painter.
"Hand it over" rejoined the carpen-
ter.
Don't wear tight Shoes" said the
painter, with large, open face grin
Chicago News.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-11-19
Better Than Nature.

BcIIEI' ] Ndn TNatUTG,
Crittick-I just saw Kammerers pic
ture of your wife. You don't like it.
do you?
Henpeck- indeed.
Crittick Why, it doesn't look like
her.
Henpeck- Perhaps not. But it does
not talk like her either. Catholic
Standard and Times.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1907-05-02

The good roads problem is receiving
more and more attention from the
public. The farmers are beginning to
realize what a vast amount OF money is
wasted every year, not only through
poor construction OF the country roads
but also in damage to horse-flesh,
harness and vehicles, to say nothing
Of the time wasted in transporting
their crops to market over almost i'm
passable highways. Taking in con-
sideration all these needless wastes
one is astonished that the taxpayers OF
the nation do not demand a change
in the method Of caring for the public
thoroughfares. This country might
we'll pattern after some OF the older
nations and build roads that, while
the first cost seems enormous, yet in
in the long run are the cheapest and
certainly the best.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1907-05-02

Ex-senator r. F. Pettigrew, OF Sioux
Falls, declared in a recent interview
that he will not be a candidate for
United States senator next year. Thus
the valiant attempts OF the Sioux Falls
Argus-Leader to enter Mr.. Pettigrew
in the senatorial ace and scare anti
machine Republicans have ended in
failure. Mr.. P~ettigrew having decided
that he will not be a candidate under
any consideration, the Argus-Leader
ought to endeavor to treat him q little
more decently than it has in the past.
Dell Rapids Tribune.
The good work that r. F. P%ettigrew
did for South Dakota and especially
for his home city has seemingly been
forgotten. To be sure he left the
Republican party, but while his friends
lamented the step he took, his enemies
in the party we're seemingly glad to get
rid Of him and have lived in mortal
fear' that he might attempt to return
to 'the fold" again. Since the Argus
Leader has had so many spasms for
fear that Mr.. Pettigrew would oppose
Mr.. Kittredge, that paper ought now
to breathe more freely.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1907-05-02

The Kimball Graphic says that when
the railroads issued him passes in
payment for advertising he didn't
care a whoop for the railroads business
because he didn't ride very much
anyway, and used to cuss the corpora
tions whenever he felt like it, but now
that they have become cash customers
he feels different and does not propose
to drive away a good-paying customer.
Does Clate think OF buying up a town
site with the money he receives from
advertising Excursion rates to
Podunk'o is acknowledgement sarcasmY
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1907-05-02

friedrich l.. Villas, n Of the youns
and hustling business men OF the city
was born at Lake City, Mimi, Oct. n
1891. When he was about a year ole
his parents moved to Clark county
South Dakota, being among the early
settlers OF that locality. Mr.. Villas
attended the public schools Of CLARK
until he was fifteen years OF age,
when he secured employment in a
drug store. At the age OF nineteen he
successfully passed a. examination
before the state pharmacy board, being
one OF the youngest registered
pharmacists in the state. At the ageof
twenty he purchased a drug store at
Erwin, and in 1902 he sold out and
vent to Bryant, where he remained in
business for four years.
In March, 1906 Mr.. Villas came to
Bookings and purchased the drug
stock OF Lee Erwin. He has since
entirely re-modeled his store, and
ldt W HIS Sto1hy IL " AnD JAW
OF the neatest and most up-to-date
drug stores in this section. Although
only a resident OF the city a little over
a year he has made a large number OF
friends through his pleasing person.
atty, and enjoys a constantly i%ncreas-
ing business.
Mr.. Villas was a member OF the state
guard for a number OF years, being
apothecary and st~orekeeper with the
rank OF captain. He has been a
member OF the Elks for some time,
and recently Joined the Masonic
order.
Mr.. Villas was married to Miss
Adelaide Samuels at Plankington
Oct. q, 1902. 1t was the t~wenty-tirst
anniversary of their birthdays, each
being twenty-one years old. From
the standpoint OF economy the act
was one which showed wisdom beyond
their years. The wedding presents
served as birthday presents, and as
the years roll by the wooden and the
tin and the crystal and other
anniversaries will also celebrate a
double birthday without any extra
consumption OF time taken from
business or social duties. Mr.. and
Mrs. Villas have a baby daughter
fourteen months old, and the family
home il on west Fifth street.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1907-05-02

upon your character? 1t is just as
easy. 1t is always easier to be a man
than a loud mouthed rowdy, says the
Kansas City Journal. Cigarettes,
gambling and whiskey have had many
a wrestle with boys long before you
came to the scene and they have never
vet been thrown. Don't get the idea
into your head that you can turn the
trick. If you don't want to be decent
for others, there is one whose sorrows
should appeal to you. There
is one who has faced everything
for your sake. One who mas to
bear the cross OF your foolish
ness. You don't want your trail thru
this world stained with a mothers
tears. The boy who turns a brazen
face to a mothers grief never gets very
far on the road to happiness.
he gets a little older you find his name
on the police docket of various cities
and q little later the dark shadows OF
stone walls loom up across his path
way; without honor, home or friends.
1t is a sad picture but it is painted
every day in every town in this broad
land. The pathway of the transgressor
is one of rocks and thorns. When
you bruise your feet the world will
laugh at you just as you laugh at
your mothers appeals. There is only
one way for a young mar to follow.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1907-05-02

All this controversy and turmoil
now going on, between the people and
the corporations, is bound to event.
ually prove q blessing to the whole
people, including the capitalists. For
many years the tendency has been to
be lenient with corporations, because
the country needed railroads and
manufacturing enterprises. Those
interested in either OF these essentials
have held the club OF "ci.her let US
rule or we quit" over the heads OF the
nation. Armed with this weapon the
people have permitted all sorts Of
Irregularities to creep in until not
only the people, but the railroads and
manufactures have become involved
in q tangle unbecoming to q nation or
to individuals who possess any con-
siderable amount OF manhood. Read
ing between the lines we believe we
can q that the corporations are as
we'll pleased as the people to get free
from . lot of these unfair methods
and manipulations OF stocksan bonds.
No fairminded person believes in
destroying the usefulness OF the rail.
roads, nor would he cripple the
common carriers, but the time is fas,
approaching when the 'watered stock
must be removed. The people will
not mucn longer submit to payini
freight rates which are excessive il
order to have the railroads pa,
dividends ON fictitious values. Thi
10 net populism neither 10 il Republi
can doctrine land yet il might be both
but y - business principles an
should " the foundation Of al WeI
established governments.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1907-05-02
THOUGHTS
Without
Thinking
BY y. o. BRANES

over at Salem the voters elected a
saloon keeper to the board of education
over an estimable lady who also ran for
the position. In the Salem OF old they
burned witches, in this Salem of South
Dakota a boot should be propelled by
some strong man with the object OF
contact the rear middle portion of the
anatomy OF this dispenser of liquid
damnation. A bed slat might also be
used to good effect on some Of the
voters over there.
Young man why don't you be de-
cent? Why not grow to manhood with
honor and credit instead OF a stain
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1907-05-02

Commerce Commissioner Pourty
who has just returned from an ex-
tended trip throughout the iest de-
clares that it is absolutely certain that
every state known as western" will
be in favor OF President Roosevelt's
denomination. Senator La Toilette
found the western sentiment very
strong in favor OF the president and
believes he will be nominated anyway.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1907-05-02

Be decent. 1t always pays dividends.
o o o
The "booze fighter" is also n OF
those who Gloves his enemy.
o O o
A woman knows no vanity equal to
that possessed by the individual known
as a "ladies' man."
o o o
Tan shoes are said to be coming ID
again. Now how in thunder are we
going to get the backing off that we
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1907-05-02
Bookings in 1927
Taken From the Daily Register of
May l, 1927


A baby boy was born to Mr.. and
Mrs. Roy Wilson,, yesterday. This
makes four.
While coming down to business this
morning a collision occurred between
the aeroplanes of DR.. Harris and Mayor
Haroldsop, and while the air was for a
minute filled with iron and other parts
OF the machines neither the drivers or
pedestrians were injured. The acci-
dent proves conclusively the value OF
carrying parachutes in aeroplanes,
both OF the occupants Of the machines
coming down in this way.
United States Senator Phi!o Hall
will leave tomorrow for Japan, where
he will act as a member of the peace
commission which will arrange for a
settlement OF the differences growing
out OF the late a Senator Hall says
that as far as he has been able to learn
the members OF the commission do
not wish to be too hard on the little
fellows, but that they will at least have
to pay u war expenses and give us .
port in that country.
TO-
Many OF the older citizens will re.
member Charlie Allen who used to run
. paper in this city, but who is now
driving q dray in Seattle. Charlie is
said to be doing we'll.
The new city directory just issued
places the population OF Brookings at
4S, 1862. The report printed in a Water
town paper that we counted all the nom
resident college students is a base
| Islander.
What came hear being q serious &C.
cident occurred at the corner OF Will
liams and Main streets last evening,
when two electric cars collided. It ap.
pears that q Williams st. and Bacon
Ave. . going east had just reached
the corner when . Fishback Park and
College Ave. car appeared going north,
The driver OF the latter was evidently
behind time and signalsd the former
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1907-05-02

to let him 60 by first, this the motor
man on the Williams street car tried
to do, but his brakes refused to work
and the car skidded in front of the
other, was crashed into and hurled
clear into the gutter. Luckily enough
the car was empty, save for the crew,
who jumped, and no one was hurt.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1907-05-02
THURSDAY, MAY 2, 1907

While this portion OF the hemi-
sphere was being Favored" with a
snow storm a tornado killed eight peo-
pie in Texas and tore up property to a
considerable extent.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1907-05-02

put on ours so we could wear them all
winter.
The average farmers wife has
mighty little respect for a party"
o O o
When a man comes around and IN
duces a society to get up a play, mem
bers of the society say their purpose is
to make money. Really the members
want to act; usually, they know they
will lose money.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1907-05-02
Spring Dress Goods

We are showing the largest and choicest
selection of Foreign and Domestic Fabrics, ever
offered to the Brookings people. We here only
mention a few Panamas, Wool Taffetas, Craig
more, Stripes, Partisan, Over Plaid, Ombree
Plaids, Rob Roy Plaids, Scotch Checks, Barred
Serge, Figured Granite, Irede5cent Granite,
Chashnere Tartans, Tourist Suiting, Silk Mus
lin, Bateste, etc. Prices ranging from
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1907-05-02

A baby boy was born to Mr.. and
Mrs. Roy Wilson,, yesterday. This
makes four.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-07

parts of the country show no damage
from green bugs, while damage from
frost and freezes amounts to 10 per
cent; 80 per cent.
Russell, April 29.-Back of mois-
ture has done the wheat some dam
a ge with plenty of moisture from now
on, the crop will grade IS per cent
Rush, April z6.-The earliest sown
wheat which looked the best is now
cline in it. Later sowings all right
Moisture badly needed now to produce
heavy crop of wheat; IS per cent
r. Saline, May mo damage from
green bugs. some damage from dry
weather, but we have had consider
able moisture in the last few days.
Percentage So.
Smith, May NO material dam
age by either drouth or green bug,
with seasonabIe weather we will have
more than average crop; So per cent.
Stafford, May Nothing serious
about condition of wheat in this coun-
ty, If not hurt by the freeze; condition
about IS per cent.
Sumner, April 26.-Wheat badly
damaged by both dry weather and
bugs; 20 per cent.
Thomas, May 2.-Damage to crops
in this county up to date can not ex-
coed 20 per cent, the recent SHOWS will
work wonders and with a few days
warm weather, the damage will be
scarcely noticea BILE; 80 per cent
Trego, May do not believe there
are any green bugs in this county
Wheat was set back by the hard
freezes and dry weather, but the re-
cent snow has made sufficient moist
ure- Indications for good rain today,
consider wheat 100 per cent.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-07

Won't you name your baby Helen
for me2" asked a lovely young woman
of a family servant who had recently
been blessed with a son and heir.
We'll" old Liza heSitated. I'D sho'
like to name her for you. Miss Helen,
but we'd just about decided to call her
Mamie Pearl 81
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-07

Miss Eleanor Wheeler has issued in
vitadons for an afternoon tea Satur-
day from five to seven O'Clock at her
home in Potwin Miss Katharine
Holmes of Emporia and Miss Frances
Conneu Will receive with the hostess
Miss Nellie Mf1lspaugh viii give an
afternoon bridge tomorrow for Miss
katharyn Holmes OF Emporia and
Miss Katharine Sneve Of st. Paul.
q
Why" people have been asking the
S R. since an ordinance to compel
people 10 keep their dogs shut up was
proposed for Topeka, don't you write
a defense Of the dogs? You're so
strong for the dandeliOns. you ought
to be for all the nuisances.7 And the
;. R. Is for all the nuisaneeS-at least
for all that certain kinds Of people are
against. But the dog needs no de-
tense There was nexer any danger OF
an antidog movement in Topeka gain
ing any Roadway. Mans love for the
dog is as deeprooted as dogs devotion
to man The dog has been the friend
and companion of man since the race
began and love for the dog is one of
the primal, universal human charac-
teristies. The dog is doubtless a nui-
sance TO the occasional Individual who
doesn't love him and enjoy his COM
partnership So IS the child to the
degenerate who doesn't love children
But fortunately there are not enough
people who hate dogs and children to
endanger the continued existence of
either It may not be a true theory,
but 1t is nevertheless a popular one
that the man who doesn't like dogs
and children is not man to be trust
ed and nine times out of ten the man
who will own to the one aversion is
also guilty of the other.
There Is really no room for argu-
rnent on the dog question The aver
age normal human being loves a dog.
It is a feeling shared by all peoples,
all classes and all ages. Whether IL is
otherwise tustffabIe or not ii Is nat
ural and no mere city ordinance could
kill it The dog lovers have all the
best OF it They belong to a vast. a
stupendoUs majority. The people who
don't like dogs will have to admit be-