davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27

here. The university has decided tc
send me to the Island OF Samalong &c
study the very peculiar language OF us
people. and l expect to be gone year
or more. Miss jackson, if I have been
of the slightest service to you am ex-
tremely pleased; Mrs. Harper, you nave
made my calls very pleasant and agree
able, and I thank you"
As he bowed his way out, he was tol-
lowed by Tom Blynn, whose face wore
a very determined look. Jimmie slipped
his arm through the others, and when
they were hidden by the shrubbery he
squared off and said:
Well 1 am caught with the goods
on"
yes. you get my watch a month ago
on Twenty-third street car. 1 had
my hands you. but you got away.
Here is the ticker. 1t cost me 50 to
have it cleaned and put in good rum
ming order. hope you have not been
greatly inccnvenienced."
What are you doing here at Mrs.
Harper's?''
Recalling old times, when I was a
gentleman. I seldom get chance to do
it. Prof. Nordenfelt, of Columbia col
lege, isn't so bad, is it? Sounds mucn
more genteel than Jimmy the Kid.
rs this to be your last call here?
Positively the last, and | see no rea-
SOC why you should give me away. Let
1t go as it is. I've been gentleman
again for a few days, and 1 don't be-
lieve the women in there would thank
you for showing me up
Professor, l bid you godspeed on
your way to Samalong." replied Tom,
as he raised his hat and extended his
hand. and thus they parted.
At the house the two women We're
very curious, and asked many ques-
tions, but Tom would not give them
much information beyond saying that IT
was just as well that the professor
was going away. An hour later, after
she had had time to think things over.
Mrs. Harper felt that she had got pref
ty near the truth, but she sighed as
she said to Miss Irene:
Poor professor! He was such an en-
PERTAINING gentleman" = Copyright.
1907, by c. H. Sutcliffe.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
rFrom the Chicago News

IFrom the Chicago News.l
Cupid sometimes CRAFTS a peach on
an old shrub.
other peoples happiness gives n pes
sinlist headache.
One of the things yoL can't buy on
credit is experience.
Lots of folks do a thing twice in or
der to get IT done once.
It's easy to laugh at misfortune
when it visits the other fellow.
Success spells failure for some and
failure spells success for others.
a fool may know when to quit, but
wise man knows when not to begin.
When members of a family quarrel
lot OF truth shows up in the
conversation.
Riches may be a burden. but few of
US are willing to kick at a burden Of
that kind.
Perhaps some day a genius will rise
to the occasion and give the world q
noiselesS photograph.
A man may be excused for worrying
about the present, but there is no ex-
cuse for him If he sits down and wor-
ries about the future
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27

senate more than once before he was
successful, and his friends believed tn II
he would distinguish himself in an
arena where the gifts of an orator, which
he possessed, count for SO much. But
he had hardly shaken down in his place
when he was accused of violating the
law; and from that day he was doomed
Mr. Burton, who is comparatively a
young man, should find field for use
fulness, and in it earn a comfortable
living, but as a appointed leader
and moral teacher he can only incite
criticism and regret
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27
.LAYKI WKER JOT.S

The Wichita Beacon rises to suggest
that Governor Hoch might encourage
the Kansas apple industry by calling
a special session Of the legislature next
winter.
Spring is getting in its work on Wal
ter Johnson, all right Listen to him
MARBLE: 1.-The skies are blue. No
word is truer. But If the fruit is killed
We'll all be bluer."
This is the time of year. observes the
Jewell Republican, when the mules
father gets his picture in the paper
along with the other statesmen and
public benefactors.
Hutchinson is anxious to secure a
soap plant. The Ness County News
says If they will send an active. ener-
getfc fellow out that way he can dig
several any day on the prairie in
days time.
1t is noted that in addition to losing
a brilliant orator, superior educator.
ter when Frank Nelson moves away
Kansas will also lose one of the finest
heads Of hair ever grown In the west
Just as though the weather were not
aff1iction enough, the Ottawa Herald
makes this observation about 1t: The
luminous afterglow of the comet APP
pears to be a tale of hot weather"
Punishment to fit the crime OF the
Herald will be devised in due time.
The government is sometimes slow
a claim for back pay pending forty
years ever since the war, and it has
just been allowed. He was promoted
to a lieutenancy, received his commits
sion, and was acting as such, but had
not been mustered in as a lieutenant.
In the meantime he was paid as SER
geant. He put in claim for the diff
ference in salary, and after 40 years
the claim has been allowed. 1t
amounts to $152.76.ae
From the wichita Eagles RE-
marks of a Retired Politician" The
pathway of preference in politics is
lined with the corpses of men who
quit politics after their first defeat.
The easiest way to get some
men for you is to send them to get
other men for you. 1t is perfect
ly astounding how citizen who is fair
ordinarily Wilt turn out unfair as
chairman of a convention for the meE
who made him chairman. "A can
didate may frequently doubt his
friends in a fight, but he never doubts
the loyalty of his opponents enemies.
Never put much stock in a man
who is with you in a fight, and keeps
himself in a position so that he will be
held blameless in event of defeat.
The very young in politics be-
lieve almost invariably, in a contro-
versy, the side they hear first.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.

IFrom the Philadelphia Press
The chief end of man is to make a
good beginning.
In casting slurs be very careful that
they are not boomerangs.
A woman is never as proud of her
brains as she Is Of her beauty.
When the man who wears a wig
goes travelling he takes his own part.
Even when we study to please, too
many of US merely study to please
ourselves.
The perfumery expert should GER
tainly have the scents of right and
wrong fully developed.
Here's where 1 get 1t in the neck"
remarked the bottle. gazing apprehen-
sively at the corkscrew
Tommy-"Pop, what Is fair d.
visicn?" Tommy's Pop-"A fair di-
vision. my son, is only accomplished
when we get the larger share"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27
HUMOR OF THE Day

ama?
resort it has already become. washing
ton Star.
mabel accepts more rings from men
than any girls know"
Il don't understand"
She's a telephone operator. "-Milwau-
kee Sentinel
The Village Oracle-"Say what yew like.
this here man Roosevelt measures his
Storekeeper-Gives good measure, too.
'gosh!'-Puck.
"Ruggles, do you know you can effect
good deal of a saving merely in the mat
ter of sitting your coal ashesE
you bet do. I've saved myself a good
not sitting mine."-Chicago Tribune.
Customer-rm rather interested in
young Mr.. Scribbles. want to get a copy
Clerk-We did have a small supply a
few weeks ago, but I'm afraid it's ex-
Customer-ReaIly? heard it was weak
but didn't think it was that bad.-Phila-
delphia Press.
rs your husband keeping his promises
to abstain from drinking?" asked Mrs.
oh. yes, faithfully" replied Mrs. New
:.Are you sure? It's pretty hard for
man TO T6SISl the lcIIptttliOh-
Eyes, but he tells me he's found sub
stttute which he eats every time he feels
tempted to take a drink; and what do
you suppose it is! ClovesH'-Philadelph
Press
The Study club were reading about Con-
stantine, and had come to the circum-
stance of his having a thousand cooks
will Mrs. Ultry- Mural, said the leader
of the day, kindly tell US what she infers
from this?"
why" replied Mrs. Ultry- Mural, sit
would seem that the Emperor must have
lived in a very remote suburb, or else he
sometimes supposed. Puck.
Insomnia" remarked the old bachelor
bcarder lis evidently contagious"
How do you figure that out?' queried
the medical student.
IT have noticed" explained the o. b. b..
THAT when our next door neighbours dog
can't sleep I can't either. Chicago
News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27
ERON OTHER PENS
rusKEGEE,s ACCOUNTS.

Tuskegee Institute emerges with fly
ing colors from the inquiry into its
financial management by an expert
employed by the state government and
acting under the authorization of the
legislature. In his report to the gov
ernor the expert says that the Tuske-
gee system of accounts is the best he
has ever known, and he failed to find
the slightest sign of extravaganza, ex-
cept in the $4,000 spent last year in
entertaining President Roosevelt. But
this is. rightly excused on the ground
that a president of the United States
does not often visit Principal Wash
ington's school.-Springaeld Republi-
can.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27
USELESS TROUBLE.

The senate stood by the guns to the
last and refused to pass a primary law.
Well. with such men as compose the
majority of the state senate. still do
ing business in Kansas, why do the
people want to go to the trouble of
naming their own officials, anyway =
Don't you know those fellows are will
ing to take the arduous duties of gov
eminent off the peoples hands, and
they and their bosses probably will
continue to relieve the people of those
duties during the next two years just
as they have in the past.-Lincoln Re
publican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27
ANTTCPAmON


Who has not felt the witching spell
That sweet anticipation filings
Around his path? And who would quell
The fiery passion that she brings?
Sweet Goddess of the future year,
Who beckons US to come the while,
Who oft? rewards with tear
Instead of promised smile
Aye. who has not with anxious thought
Scanned her bright mirage from afar,
And, desert-wOrn and weary, caught
The glitter Of her coming car!
Though present hours be bright and fair,
The morning of youths opening day,
Or memory with her dreams as dear
3 Point deftly down the backward way
Whate'er of passing joys we claim.
w hate'er returns of pleasures gone
Must yield them to the brighter flame
OF hope that lures US on and on.
Sweet Goddess of the mystic shrine,
How true or false thy promise be,
Still let me make thy blessing mine,
Still let me stay thy devoted
And ever as the hours return,
O'erfraught with sorrow or with pain,
Teach me their gloom and grief to spurn,
Teach me to know thy star again!
FLOYD D. RAZE.
Kinkaid, North Dakota.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
LFrom the New York Press.l

IFrom the New York Pressl
Sermons might be more interesting Il
you could talk back.
A woman has to be born a good many
years before a man to admit she is az
old as he when they are grown up
After a girl has been engaged twice
she doesn't consider it necessary to ne
up her love letters in baby ribbon.
A nice thing about living ip a board
ing house is you don't have to make
believe you like what you get to eat
the way you do at home
One of the first things a married man
needs to learn to have happy home
his wife teaches her.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27

should be in jail because he MIXED
the Chicago & Alton dry, but the SEN
ator should take into consideration the
fact that he replaced the milk with
water" Still, you would hardly call
it milk-and-water affair.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27
Old Cannon Can,t Re Broken.

A good story is being told at the Mare
Island navy yard concerning a San
Francisco contractor, who bought all
the old obsolete cannon which were sold
at the local yard some time ago. The
cannon were all of the smooth bore kind
and in order that they might be easily
handled for shipment to the city all
sorts of schemes were tried in an en-
deavor to break them with dynamite
and blasting powder. but they were I'M
successful.
An electric drill machine was even set
up and at the yard and the cannon were
drilled full of holes, in order to weaken
them for breaking open with wedges,
but this was also unsuccessful. The
cannon were then taken away and the
last heard of them they were corralled
in the hills near Point Richmond, where
an effort was being made to break them
open with dynamite again.
The cannon which proved to be so
strong were among the armament Of
the war craft which sailed the seas in
1S12.-San Francisco Chronicle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27

MI. Rockefeller now says the rail-
roads ought not to overcapitalize. If
Mr. Rockefeller keeps on he may yet
contribute to the Bryan and LaFoi-
lette campaign funds
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27

A four days poker game has just
closed in Chicago. Perhaps there is
no ground for suspicion, but Uncle
Sam might inquire if there were any
employees of the subtreasury sit
ting in.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27

Abe Ruef is reported to have lost
his nerve. There ought to be no dim
Guilty. however, in finding anything as
colossal as that
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27

The Wichita Eagle runs a depart
naent entitled, Remarks OF a Retired
Politician" There are liable to be a
good many retired politicians II Kan
Bas ever gets direct primary law.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27

''UncIe Sam" says the Hutchinson
News. has sent some of his blue
jackets to Central America to spit on
the fire and put it out" Then that ex-
plains this sizzling sound that has
come from down there in the last day
or two.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27
Qualified.

1T May or May Not Storm was tkc
heading over the article given out by
the governments weather official in
Kansas City Monday. If that nan
should move to Kansas. nothing on
earth could keep him from being elect
ed to the state senate. He has the nat
ural diplomacy and the ability to get
on both sides of the question. genu-
inc statesman is being obscured.-Bur-
lingame Chronicle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27

The district attorney who prosecuted
Chester Gillett in New York has gone
insane and committed suicide. because
OF overwork, but Gillett still lives.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27

Very likely Mr.. Burton can prove by
T. T. Kelly that Kelly never furnished
him with money out of the state treas
ury for his senatorial campaign. What
better evidence could be asked?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27
were AN Leather Eaters.

"And them said the Arctic explorer,
At ate my leather belt"
"Pooh, what of that? Every mothers
son of us eats a pair of shoes year.
The explorer frowned.
This" he began, lis no laughing
But the scientist interrupted him.
ct am not testing, sir. I speak the
solemn truth What is leather? Is it
not albumen and .tannin? Well, when
you add milk to your tea or coffee, the
tannin of the one and the albumen of
the other unite, and leather results. The
leather is in minute particles. Never
theless it is there. And down 1T goes.
"AIl who drink tea or coffee daily"
the scientist concluded, consume in a
year enough leather to make pair of
shoes"
The explorer sneered. ITO resume, -
he said, ct then ate the lining Of"
etc.-Los Angeles Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27

Life is a fareweH tour" says a
southern editor Then we presume a
cat is the opera singer of animals. 1t
has nine lives. you know.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27

President Roosevelt can not under
stand why Abilene turned out as 1t did
to welcome Burton Very likely the
president would Also have difficulty in
understanding Tom Kelly's hold on
Kansas.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27

The king of Siam may visit America
with u of his wives. If he does, VIII
he find surroundings the more cor
genial in New York, Pittsburg, or Salt
Y.aEe Cifv9
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27

The labor unions run San Francisco,
but It looks as though Ruef, Schmitz
and the supervisors must have work.
ed overtime at grating. They GER
tainly ought to be disciplined by the
Erafters' union
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27

The railroads propose to raise the
freight rates, but that won't obviate
the old necessity of the shippers hav-
ing to raise the freight.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27

Since reading his speech, Tom Cor
dry is inclined to doubt the statement
that Mr. Burton spent much of his
time in the Ironton jail in reading the
Bible
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27

Sacajawea was the heroine OF the
Lewis and Clark exposition at Port
land. VIII the jamestown show do as
well BY Pocahontas
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27

This is a red-hot week in most kansas
towns aside from the weather. Multi
cipai politics, you know.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27

If Mr.. Roosevelt really should be re
nominated. there IS suspicion ina
one Abilene Republican would vote To-
B1yan.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27
INC Chinaman-Where He Differs

His compass points south.
In saluting you he puts on his hat.
Walking with you, he keeps out of
step.
He shakes his own hand instead of
yours
He says eastsouth instead of south
east.
To be polite, he asks your age and in
come.
He throws away the flesh Of the melon
and eats its seeds.
His women often wear trousers, while
he often wears a gown.
He presents coffins to his friends as
you present cigars or books.
He pays the doctor while he is well,
but stops paying him when he is sick
Exchange.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27

ALREADY California people are pic
turing how Abey Ruef and Mayor
Schmitz will look smooth-shaven-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27

Several Nebraska towns says the
Omaha Bee, ARE arranging to cele-
brate their prosperity" Kansas towns
could not make arrangements extern
slve enough for such an undertaking,
and so they are not undertaking it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27

The insanity theory appears TO re
running away with the Thaw case, and
the brakes won't work.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27
CONVERSATIONS OF OLD AGE

How nice it is on the part of ma
ture to make Age in love with its priv
ileges and outlook as Youth is in love
with itsl' Youth pities Age. and Age
in a way pities Youth. The morning
has it's delights and its enticements;
the noon has it's triumDhs and its sat
isfactions; but there Is charm and
tranquility and a spiritual uplift about
the close of day that belongs to
neither.-JohnzrB Burroughs in Circle
Magazine.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27
ONE OPINION

The only way the Republican party
can elect the next Kansas Legislature
is by regulating everything this lee-
islature has done.-Jewell Republican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27
Hole In the watch Key.

1.-THE queerest patent?" said the at
torney. We'll, the queerest patent I
know of was the patent of a hole.
can old farmer out st. Louis way
patented hole, and what is more, he
made a lot of money on it. Now.
though it isn't worth the paper 1t is
written on.
This farmer one morning in the
dim past went to wind his big silver
turnip and found the key stuck full
Of dirt. He tried to dig the dirt out
with a pin. No. 60
"'Consarn ye.' he said, I'll fix ye.'
''And he drilled a hole in the key,
and with a single breath blew out
every bit of the dirt.
HE patented that hole. He built a
factory, bought millions of keys and
made holes for them. His plant turned
out 27,500 holes a day.
''In fact, all the world used the
farmers watch keys. which were the
only kind that would keep clean, and
the old fellow got rich.
THAT. of course. was in the dim
past. The hole factory is only running
on half time now, for few persons to-
day use any save the stem winding
or keyless watch.'-Minneapoli Jour
nal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27

San Francisco is having as hard a
time in cutting out graft as some men
do in cutting out smoking
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27

Harry Thaw's lawyers framed a SEN
tence 1900 words long in a hypotheti-
cal question. This Is probably longer
than the sentence the court will frame
for Tvhaw
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27
VOTING CONTESTS.

have to give a man a premium to get
him to take one of Uncle Sans dol
lars in exchange for a dollars worth
of any commodity. Well, the reason
is that the dollar is worth it's face
value. It's just the same with news
paper. If the paper is worth the cub
scription price, it will circulate with
out any voting contest to bolster up its
circulation.-Lincoln Republican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27

Stfli. 1t is to be hoped that Medicine
Hat isn't mixing ND another dose
for us.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27

san Francisco supervisors came
Highland even then they didn't stay
hnilghf
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27

Perhaps the peach blossom may be
caught yet.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27
Never Heard of johnson.

J. Pierpont Morgan evidently has
never heard of Mayor Tom L. john
son. The other day Morgan sent the
city of Cleveland a check for $34,
dividends on some stock which the
city holds in trust. The envelope con-
tanning the check was addressed to
"Hon. ]. H. Farley, Mayor" Farley
was mayor before Johnson.
City Auditor Thomas Coughlin to-
day wrote the following letter to
Morgan:
1.-THE pleasure incident to receiving
a check is In this instance marred by
reason of the fact that your letter
comes addressed to Hon. John H. Far
ley, mayor, who left the office six years
ago.
TT is regrettable that such a noted
American citizen as you are, possess
ing such artistic and business instincts,
as was evidenced by your defeat OF the
Kaiser in bidding for the Van Dyke
pictures, should be so lost to the public
affairs of his country as not to have
heard Of Cleveland's famous mayor
and it Injuries our civic pride to note
that Mayor Johnsons fame has not
reached even the subordinates in your
office, who may have addressed the
letter.
1T call this matter to your personal
attention, that your records may be
properly corrected and trust that you
will advise your office. that this error
may not occur again.
Dispatch to the Chicago Record Her
aid
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27

Senator Cullorn." remarks the Sa-
Ina Journal. says that Hartman
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-27
COMPARATIVE.

Propriety is comparative. Many a
Kansas community which thinks bill
lizard hall immoral sent a citizen 10
the legislature who was subserviert to
the railroads for three months without
shocking his home folks.-Wichita Ia
gle.