The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1907-05-09
"Give the Dogs q Chance"
No. Three.
PAssAIC, Mo May 9th, 1907.

ed what had to say In q recent
issue Of your paper, in gentlemanly
and honorably way, / would have
had no hesitancy in replying-to the
end-thst the truth OF the matter In
controversy might have been arriv.
ed at. But when my remarks have
been wantonly misrepresented by
some "Meddlesome Matte" with ell
the ear marks OF q cross between a
walking delegate, a nanekin and e
stink cat, In a letter to your paper,
with not even the semblance of q
sense OF the rules OF courtesy, decency
or common sense, l can but feel that
in STOPPING to notice 1t am but pan
dering to the instincts OF a hybrid,
whose mode OF procedure Is TO invade
your domains, get Its back up and
throw stink. For my experience with
another branch Of the family, known
as the skunk, only higher up, land to
which heartily apologize for men,
tioning the relation, has been that to
oppose him in any way, is but sig.
nal for him to open up his stink bag.
Even though l am aroused at the
dead hours OF night by my faithful
dog, which has located him In the act
OF looting my poultry house
-red-hand, he invariably dis
plays that peculiar characteristic OF
his breed by playing the iniured in.
nocent" act and forthwith "gits his
back up" If ask him for reason,
he gives me stink; II l poke him, he
gives 6e stink, and II l kill him, he
hands me stink and for days to come
living he stinks-dead he stinks.
Hence 1t is that say | am always
reluctant in entering a one sided
game, and II 1t were admissible, l
would go out of his road any day to
avoid his smell, but when | find him
in my hen house, l always act, stink
orno stink, even though know that
whatever the outcome l am bound to
be skunked. Now, never having
seen this prtlcular hybrid specimen
OF the Inferior branch OF the fam
lily, which has handed me such
a bad smelling lemon, l imagine
his component parts to be in about
hisproportion: head wooden, Indian
tail "brush cat," feet walking dele
gate and the bulk or balance stink
bag. My deduction puts his head
In the wooden Indian class "catego-i.
cally-and we may say oracularly"
as follows:
Wooden: :HeadiNo. 1: "There are
only a few jacks-a very few-in
Bates county, yet they are assessed"
"Now according to Mr.. Sharp, that
jack assessment is the 'rankest kind
OF class legislation Now, would
any kind OF animal short OF a wood
On headed one, have given this as
parallel case to one where 1t was pro-
posed to tax a dog In order to create
q iund:.to pay for q possible loss OF
sheer?ss It would appear to some of
US down here who display such a
profound degree OF ignorance" that
to complete the comparison 1t would
have been proper to have gone on
and proposed to tax our dogs to
pay for a possible loss ofany OF those
jacks. :, 1t might at least have given
US a solution Of the enigma as to
why he saw fit to honor this breed,
to.wit: "a iellow-ieeling made him
wondrous kind" (this with all due
apologies to our jacks.
Wooden Head No. 2: "Sharp
should read the law then he would
find out that the county court is en-
to examine witnesses and
verify claims before allowing them"
As II we were such unmitigated fool
rs to not know that anyone must
prove his case In any court. Why
did it not give US the gratuitous In
direct without US hav-
Ing to infer it) that all jacks didn't
i've In Bates county?
Wooden Head No. 3: "What is
Ihe difference In value between q $5
sheep, a $5 calf and q S. pig?" Well
now, its got me. Igive II up. Can
ZONE Of "Mattie's" friends down
here tell ne?
In answer to my statement that
he death Of any sheep might be
,harged up TO the dogs, appears
Wooden Head, walking delegate
md stink cat No. 1: "His implied