davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31
IS THE TARIFF A LIVE IssUEl
Baltimore sun Not sure that Demo-
Gratis couId Win on IL.

Gratis ConId Via on IL.
From the baltimore suu.
A political party must not only present
70 the people a constructive programme
and a definite policy founded on correct
principles. along with an appropriate
candidate, bat the issue must b. such as
viii engage the public attention and en-
list popular support. It was the lack OF
this definite issue. Of this conservative
policy, that caused the Democratic dis
aster in 1891 Mr. Roosevelt, the Republs-
can candidate, was preaching the doctrine
Of action. Mr. Parker, the Democratic
candidate. was for applying the brakes
al the time. His policy may have been
the safest and wlsest. but somehow it
did not arrest the public attention. 6. II
did not excite the interest or the imagina-
ton of the people. II Mr. Roosevelt
should be nominated by the Republican
convention and should talk TO the people
about the control of corporations. the
uprooting Of the trusts by direct Iegisla-
tive or judicial action. the compulsion Of
the railroad companies 10 obey the law.
and the Democratic candidate, whoever
he may be. should eouhne himself 10 a
discussion Of the admitted evils Of the
protective system, to which candidate
would the people give their attention?
We are not undertaking TO answer that
question: but II is a question which must
be seriously considered by the Democratic
party. Mr Cleveland seems 10 be dis
posed 10 brush the railroad and corpora
ton issue aside and to consider the pres
ent cry as temporary hysteria. But 1t is
doubtful whether the people will agree
with him on this point. Il see in the
question" Mr.. Cleveland observed. ''as
20 whether railroad fares should be 3
cents or cents mile no great princi-
pie" But, nevertheless, if we may judge
by the recent action Of State legislatures,
a multitude OF people consider the ques-
ton most interesting
There is indication Of a present DISPOSE
tiOu By the railroad and ether corpora
tiOns 10 put themselves exclusively under
Federal control. If the attempt is made
TO deprive the States of all power to
regulate In any particular the corpora
tons they have created, that might pre-
sent "a live issue upon which the Demo
cratic party might feel bound TO take
stand. The tariff question certainly could
not be omitted from the Democratic plat
form and should be insisted upon, strenu-
ously before the people, but If that plank
is relied upon as its only llfe-preserver.
could the Democracy expect TO ride 10
victory on il?
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31
An Afflicted Hen.

From the New York Tfibme
There have been nearly six thousand
cases of suffering animals. from an in
juFed cab horse 10 oonsumptive lizard.
treated at the Animals Hospital, I'm West
Minister London, the last nine months.
one Of the latest inmates is a two-year-
old hen. which is suffering from a BE-
cuilar disease in the crop. The hen in
ths hospital IS the last oae OF family OF
nine, the others having died from the
same disease. unique operation is be-
ing resorted to By the doctor TO save the
hens life. Every day a rubber tube IS
inserted in the birds mouth. and its crop
is filled with warm water Then the hen
is turned upside down. and the water is
allowed to trickle out.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31
Armies and Peaches.

A writer in The New York sun COM
| plains somewhat bitterly OF the all but
total disappearance from the fruit stands
of good. old-fashloned apples. The mealy,
tasteless thing found at the average
stand, market, or grocery Of this day and
time compares with the real article in the
way Of apples just about as the mist re-
sembles the rain"
The complaint is in order. The COM
mercial apple of the day is nothing more
than the outcome of the tendencies Of the
times It is d weli-dressed fraud. and
never comes up to the pretensions of the
label. Like the mans razors that would
not shave. the modern apple is simply
made to sell. It Is pretty to look upon,
stylish and highly aristocratlc In appear
anee. but. beware. It's fooling thee! It
is false. literally and figuratively. to the
very cOret
Nor is the near-apple the only fruit OF
which complaint may. with entire pro-
priety, be made. The up-to-date peach is
very little better That which we do call
an Eiberta by any other name would taste
as insipid. The patTician Elberta is a de-
generate descendant OF some old-time
Sally Jane or Polly Ann peach. 1t must
be 50, because away back yonder before
this country went money mad there must
have existed some such homeIy ana COM
fortably named peach!
There was the old-fashIoned Indian
peach. That much we know. It has
passed away, like the noble race OF real.
eap1tiua Arna,.foa,.e frcs,, ,,.1.f.b L. 90. sso
n9me. The Indian peach lived and had
its being before the days OF cold storage.
It was so full Of life and bright red blood
that one could not bite it without having
little rivulets of crimson goodness chase
one another all over ones chin. spatter-
ing shirt fronts, and all that! One could
not bite an Old-time Indian peach and
not smile while biting It was the smile
that allowed the rich. warm 1uice re-
lease from out the corners of the mouth
and when one had finished eating an
Indian peach one did. perhaps. look as If
one had done battle with boister0us
cherry pie. and that not wisely bet too
we'll, But it was good, sure enoughl
You cannot find one nowadays Like the
good Indians themselves, the good Indian
peaches are dead and gone forevermore.
Perhaps when Mr.. Roosevelt has rt2
lieved his mind of the Forakers. the
Minso Sanderses, the Poultney Bigelows,
and all Of the other vexing and pestifer-
Gus aunoyances that beset him sorely, he
may take up this problem and seek 10 set
IT Alright We know, in all good reason,
that he prefers a good, honest horse
apple" or an Indian peach. any day and
every day, to these rank limitations to-
ward which We hereby and herewith reg
lister our unrelenting hostility After the
weightier cares of state have been laid
aside, then and thereupon let the Presi-
dent bend his splendid energies to restor-
ing to this long suffering land something
of the old-time glory of it's fruit.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31
Macarthur the Last.

Lieut.. Gen. Arthur Macarthur. who is
soon TO be relieved Of the command of
the Division of the Pacific, and at his
own request take station at Milwaukee.
is one of the very few survivors of the
civil war now holding commissions in the
army. Gen. Macarthur fought his way
up from the ranks in a Wisconsin regi-
ment, and has seen as much hard lighting
and other actual service of The soldier
as perhaps any .other living American.
By the army, he is generally regarded as
one Of the most accomplished and sebol-
arly soldiers in the world. He is a pro-
found student of war and Of military
affairs in general, and it Is expected that
his forthcoming report on an extended
trip of observation he made few years
ago through India and other parts Of
Asia viii be a milltafy classic. He win
not retire under the age limit until 1a0q
and meantime he viii perform no military
duties, although he viii be entitled to a
rather numerous staff of colonies lien
tenant coloneis, majors. and captains. It
is recalled that when ''Tecumseh" sber-
man held the highest rank in the army.
as is now the case with Gen. MacA rfhur
he refused to live in Washington, because
he did not ike the system of the War
Department and made his residence In
St Louis. where ne performed no active
military duties
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31
some,vhnt ninerent.

From the Chicag0 News.
Dis paper" said Languid Lewis, tells
erbout a boss runnln' away with II
woman, an she was laid up fer six
weeks"
Dat amt so worse, rejoined Boastful
Benjamin a friend Wv mine wunst run
away with hoss an he wuz laid up fer
six years"
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31
ExPERT TEsTImoxY LAND.

Oh, come with NE 10 strange strange land,
Where black masqaeFades a. white:
Wherein the clearest facts thai We understand
Are gloomy and dense night:
Oh fare with me meath insane trees
IN the forest Of teril-ai-cal-i-tifS.
Come, let US sail Ger the gibberish seas,
Where the lie-bEds are plnmsged red
Where nothings the truth 80 each agrees.
And every ones touched in the head;
Oh. come where the dippy fshes sport
And the EheelhFained cuttlehsh clluekle and snort
Let your ego fit TO the dreaEy plaia
Where the stGeit-iacket fits all backs;
Where the technical terms descend ike rain,
And the doctors converse n quacks;
Or cone where the hraiu-storn sReeus the hiiis
While the expert witness smokes opium piilsl
-Denser Rep1hlican
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31
GOOD Roads Building

From the Philadelphia Press.
The building of solid roads of stone
foundation that shall be as good In Jan
uary as in July viii be the great cIviliz-
ing feature of the years just ahead. The
good roads building on a large scale and
by the most approved standard, which
was interrupted By the advent of the
railway. viii be taken UP again and solid,
well-built and, We hope. tree-iined high
ways will connect all the chief cities and
centers of population. and thereby make
of these States a more perfect union.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31
The Reason.

From Lippincott's
Ia the Fifth avenue Sunday school:
Teacher-Why must We always be kind
to the poor. Ethel?
Ethel Slightly mixedl-Because among
the sundry and manifold changes of this
wicked world We don't know how soon
they may become rich.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31
Almost as Good ..s Harriman.

From the Kansas City Times.
The utter depravity OF political condl-
tons in San Francisco may be seen from
the fact that If the gTafters had stolen
only twenty times as much as they did
steal they would have secured pretty
nearly as much money as was cleaned III
in the reorganization Of the Chicago and
Alton Railway.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31

sort" So that. as far as regulation goes.
he Is on pretty much the same ground as
President Roosevelt, and Il IS difficult 10
see just what the President could add to
Mr.. Bryan's statement of the just pur-
pose and intention OF governmental regu-
lation. Should Mr.. Roosevelt attempt to
occupy a more radical position than Mr..
Bryan, he would toss fuel to the flames
Of agitation; should he take a less ad-
vanced attitude. he would lay himself
open to the accusation of surrender to
corporation interests. Such considerations
as these are likely TO be urged as lending
wisdom to a policy Of silence: but as
Mr. Bryan has spoken, in language Of
timely import. 10 restore confidence and
set at rest the misgivings of the timid. is
it probable that the man Of action ia the
White House viii long remain under
eover2
Mr. Bryan has fenced the President into
very pretty corner in the contest for
radical leadership. It viii be interesting
to see if Mr.. Roosevelt extricate himself
from it without swapping swords with his
protagonist.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31
The More Expensive Hurt.

rum III DIS
Riggs-AIy wife had a queer accident
befall her the other week. As she was
walking along the street mans hat blew
off ana struck her in the eye. 1t cost
me a guinea for a doctor bill.
Briggs-oh, that's nothing, My wife
was walking along the street the other
day, and as she passed n milliner's a
bonnet in the wiIdow struck her eye, and
it cost me e los.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31
TAMPERING WITH TRIPLES.

FIom the Houston POST
The simple Life.
Simple songs, and simple pleasures, sum-
mer skies and country ways,
Tlnking streams and grassy meadows
where uncounted cattle Craze,
Clothes that irk me not nor bind me,
ways that prison not my feet,
alecD wherever night shall find me, morn
ings perfumed, cool and sweet.
With 10 bolts nor bars to hedge me for
my woe or for my veal.
Just Hfe's greatest. sweetest treasures
that no foe would care TO steal,
just babe 10 run TO meet me when the
daylight FADES 10 gloam,
just that baby's happy mother smiling me
a welcome home.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31
Trade
From the Argonaut.

From the ATg0naut
When young Vanderbilt was IN Europe.
native Of France. taking him for his
own chauffeur, told him what he thought
Of those dogs of Americans who rush
about French country roads trying to kin
people. Il have 3 sick hog" said the
peasant, which / will Grive into the road.
and you kill it. Then I viii collect from
your master and divide
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31
Uniforn, RaIIrond Lnm-

From the Milwaukee Sentinel
It seems that the logic of the situation
requires, in the best interests of ali. that
railroad law in the United States be as
uniform as possible and not the crazy
quilt affair that Law now is.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31
No Cameras Allowed.

Publications OF all sorts and in all parts
LOT the country have been striving
earnestly for the past few weeks 10 secure
photographs OF the White House lawn
tennis court when its distinguished bab-
itues are assembled there and in action.
eut the nat has gone forth that no pic
lures are 10 be taken Of this interesting
scene Secretary Loeb has refused adn,is-
sion to every man with camera who has
asked the privilege Of entering the court
It is stated that this refusal, of course
comes direct from the Presidents instrnc-
tons. So much has been published about
the Presidents tennis cabinet" that the
Chief Magistrate has become. aggravated.
and while there is no objection 10 personal
friends Being shown the tennis court as
exenplIfied a few days ago whe. the
President himself conducted Ben Daniels
ana Bat MastersOn to that famous play
ground, Il Is understood that il is 10 be
reserved from the gaze 0fkhe general pub-
tic lest somebody with a pocket camera
should violate the rule against its being
photographed. One local photographer is
known TO be attempting 10 catch various
members or the tennis cabinet on the
ny and then by an ingenious process of his
own invention group them in eharacteris-
tic attitudes, but up TO this time he has
been unable TO catch q single one of them
4 full group picture of the tennis csbi-
net Just now would be worth a pile of
money.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31
A Cemeterr for cas-.

From The Boston Iost
Women of Newton, Mass, have petit
toned the legislature to set apart a tract
of land as cemetery for aged and indi-
gent cats which have passed beyond this
vale of yowis and squalls There is no
opposition to such bill from the legisla-
tive committee. and it looks as il We viii
have a cat cemetery IN our midst.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31
Tangible Asset. All Rieht.

IRON the UmahS Bee,
While stocks are tumbling in all direc-
tions in Wall street. the prices paid for
grain Of all kinds rule steady and firm
This condition merely indicates the differ
enee between tangible and intangible
assets People who paid fancy prices FOR
watered stocks are now settling with the
piper
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31
Cominr to - Front.

Prom the Famvife tYa) Herald.
The Washington Herald is coming TO
the front In newspaper circles. 1t is only
i've months old, and has a circulation of
5000 Printers ink and push have Joined
ia d splendid fight
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31
De- Beeoming a serious sratter.

From the Philadelphia Press.
Secretary Taft just laughs when his
Presidential boom is mentioned. but the
other candidates do not see anything
funny in IT,
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31
A SAFER Pronosition-

! fIom Ihe LoIlisTillo C0uTier-JOurnal
France is eating q great deal of horse
flesh, 1t is unquestionably more feasible
70 butcher the horse than 10 bet upon him
and try to buy beefsteak on the way
home from the track.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31

But this bright latest Easter Day
Finds the tale tcld another way.
Now scars triumphant 10 the skies.
From countless followers the cry:
He is risen!"
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31
Not HIS style

THAT horse was capable of winning in
walk"
And did hep
mo. They foolishly went and entered
him in a running race"
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31
TWO CASTERS.

Menaced by Roman sword and spear.
Faithful and yet oppressed by fear,
Some nineteen hundred years ago
a small band met and murtnured low:
He is risenr'
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31
The Foreottcn HurI,e.

From IL Chicago RecoEd.Herald-
Messfs. Foraker and Fairbanks are 10
busy watching Taft that they don't an
pear to remember the existence Of
H9ghes
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
Avoidi6r Trouble.

"Be sure you are rlght," amended Dayy
Crockett.
And then?"
Keep away from the White House"
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31
Her Grievance.

Looking for d cook? 1 thought you
had d cook2''
She quit US"
"Got "a better job?''
NO. ] guess not; she merely did nor
like the breakfasts as my wife prepared
them"
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31

The st. Louis Republic calls attention
to "a shortage IN lambs In that city
Wall street appears to be suffering from
the same trouble.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31
scyIIn and Charvbdis.

Between tile things that nobody does
and everybody does
"Yes?''
Society has tough job steering a
course
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31

President B0nilia is probably proceed
ing upon the idea that he who fights and
runs away may live TO run akother day.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31

On the whole. we think we prefer Mr.
John Lawrence Sullivan's remark. Dis
country IS a sight TO the BROOKLYN
Eagles America leads the world in
prophetic psychicai projection of possible
pToft"
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31
June

April is the rainy month,
Month of growing flowers:
June. however. is the month
For the linen showers.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31

An upright judge OF Tennessee has de-
cided that IL is all right to abuse the
legislature That wise decision will pre-
vent many hard-workiug hammer edi-
tor from being thrown out of a Job.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31
Good Reason.

Little girl. do you always say YOU
prayers before you so 10 bed?''
'fYesslf."
Can you tell me why you say them?''
"fessiri so ma won't spank me-"
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31
a TrnnhIe Hnnfer.

Did the dressmaler disappoint Grace
about her Easter gown"
i think SO. She got it 10 her on time. ="
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31

Texas has decided to drive out the
green bug" says a Lone Star State con-
temporary. II he had not been a green
bug. he never would have gone TO Texas.
anyhow.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31

Roumanian names seem to run to con
sonants IN about the same ratio that
South American names run to vowels.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31

The Pennsylvania CRATER who cleaned
up something like sl.50O on a SO bOotblack
stand installed in the new capitol Is Ger
tainly shining example Of the modern
booty snatcher
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31

A Kansas Iaan declares that he recently
saw rat with long horns. Such things
are fairly common in most prohibition
States.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31
Not His Fault.

Have you ever deceived your wife?''
'No-a, I can't say that have. I have
tried TO, however"
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31
MEN AND THINGS.
The. Fairbanks Hnf.

{
| Up Connecticut avenue about 10 o'clock
yesterday morning. when that fashionable
lthoronghfare was lined with the elite tax
ing their matutinaI e0nstitutionaIs. dashed
a huge mauve-painted automobile with y
I tcream-coiored top. Behind the chauffeur
reposed comfortably IN the enfolding up
holstery of the rear seat Vice Ifesident
Fairbanks and his handsome. statuesque
wife, her cheeks abloom with health, de-
noting that she has recovered from the
indisposition that has kept her from per-
forming her usual functions in society
this year. Upon the Vice Presidential
head there rested hat that deded at
once the wind and dust. Graceful in its
outlines withal. It is in color and shape
like unto no other masculine headgear
seen in these parts At first sight il
makes the impression upon the mind of a
miniature air ship OF the Knabenshue pat
tern. It's beauties grow upon inspection.
lOf pronounced eliiptcity. the curves of
beauty are perfectly preserved, even at
the indentation at the top. where if seems
10 sink into an abysmal crater It's rim
Is none too broad, but sufficiently um-
braculate TO protect the face from the
suns fierce simmer. The general I'M
preston of ats color is one OF rich cream,
somewhat smudged with dust
That's the Fairbanks hat" proudly
proclaimed Hoosief pedestrian, who
happened to be about at that hour among
the fashionable folk. the while removing
his own and making a low obeisance 10
the Vice President and his wife 'That
hat viii figure q good deal in affairs from
now until things settle down a bit. and
II becomes the duty of every supporter
OF Indiana's favorite son 10 forthwith in
vest in one. and wear 1t everywhere as
tie emblem Of loyalty"
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31

A Boston man with eight unmarried
daughters has just inherited million
dollars. The young men of the neighbor-
hood viii doubtless note d marked and
rapid Improvement in the young ladies'
beauty ana desirable qualities.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31
Dual necenfinn .

why 50 many divorces?"
''Wen, a good many girls who amt
pretty manage 10 look pretty"
Yes and a good many busted fellows
manage 10 act rich"
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31

"a Cleveland man who was kicked by
q horse now whinnies. says the Buffalo
Express. Had he been kicked by a Mis-
souri mule the chances are he would now
be shoveling coal
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31

Honduras is suspected of growing de-
sire to benevolentiy assimiIate a few
things now
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31

Mr.. Hartman says he is willing to give
the President advice on how TO run the
government. Why should the President
bother with Mr.. Hartman, with al the
newspapers around?
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31
Wen Met.

That baseball pitcher? oh. he married
an actress"
That fellow had the finest curves in
the league"
"rhe girl he married mad the finest
curves on the stage"
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31

Whether a woman wears open work
shirt waists or overwori1ed shirt waists
depends good deal upon the limitations
of her pocketbOok
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31

Only such magnificent prosperity as now
prevails throughout the land would permit
of the joint parade of automobiles and
Easter bonnets that you win see to-day. .
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31

S0Ga water has been advanced to 10
cents "A glass in Louisville II this in
creased cost OF living also affects chew
Ing gum, the approaching Junetime is
destined TO be a season of great bitterness
for sweet summer girls.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31

When the frost is on the pumpkin and
the folders in the shock is not a marker
to the time the beer is on the book.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31

Since George Fred Williams has com
menced to talk again. il may become nee
essary for the standpatters to put pro-
hibitive tariff on unnecessary noises.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31

\ Philadelphia minister says Mr.. Je-
r0mes head reminds him of a nutmeg
Does he mean the Connecticut kind?
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31

Senator Platt refuses TO be seer" saws
a newspaper headline. And yet Senator
Piatt is not of retiring disposition
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31

Mr. John D. Rockefeller, jr., will give
up all work FOR time and rest in seclu-
sion This leaves only the optimistic
Baltimore American to turn to for con-
soling and beautiful little notices, so far
as our immediate needs are concerned.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31

To add to the terrors Of innocent by
standing, the marshal of Glen Echo now
threatens to shoot at agtomobillsts who
will not give heed to his authority.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31

"uncle' Joe refuses TO discuss the
quarantine regulations, bat when il comes
10 'cussing' them, he IS right there with
the goods.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31

It is rumored that one OF Emperor VIII
iam's sons VIII take a special course az
Harvard. II is safe 20 assume that the
Emperor hasn't any mollyeoddle sons.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31

u was railroaded to jail" says former
Senator Burton. The gentleman is likely
to tire the public.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-31
Not SO Dear.

what did your Easter bonnet cost
you?"
~ bad half hour with my husband"