Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1907-10-18
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II you have anything to say to
mule, say it to his face. : Chicago
Daily News.
Anthropology Instructor-What effect
has the climate on the Eskimo? Stu
dent-Cold feet-Harvard Lampoon.
Oficer-Seen anything of my bag
gage, sentry? Sentry-She's waitin'
round the corner for ye, sirl-Regl-
ment.
Did ] tell you the story Of the old
church bell?" mo. Let's hear It,"
Sorry, but 1t can be tolled only ON
Sunday. Cleveland Plain Dealer.
He-So they got married and went
of In their new motor car. She-And
where did they spend their honey
moon2 Hem the hospltal.-London
Tit-Bits
Foote Lighte-Has your sister
strong part in the new plece2 Miss Sue
Brette-Why, yes she has to carry
around one of those heavy spears =
Yonkers Statesman.
Mrs. Kelly-'Tls another of thin
soovyneer post cyards from me darter
Maggie-the foOrth this month, be-
gorry! She sinds me wan every tonne
she changes her place.-Puck.
Anxious Mother-I hope you are not
thinking Of marrying young Clarkson.
He spends every cent he earns. Pretty
Daughter-Oh, well he doesn't earn
very much.-Chicago Daily News.
do you ever talk back to your
wifeT asked the sollcitous friend.
Sometimes" answered Mr.. Meekton !;
"a very little; just to show her that
have not gone to Sleep Chicago Daily
News.
Tommy-Does 1t make any difference
If baby takes all his medicine at once2
Baby's Mother Tin horror)-Good heav-
ems! OF course 1t does! Tommy
But 1t hasn't made any difference
Punch.
Mrs. Wlckwlre-If you go first, you
will wait for me on the other shore,
won't you, dear? Mr.. Wickwire-I sup
pose so. l never went anywhere yet
trated Bits.
ANY accident in your motor trip
through Italy and France, Morgan"
Nothing worth mentioning. My wife
was thrown out and bruised bit, but
the machine never got 80 much as a
scratch."-Llfe.
80 Jacks been made secretary and
treasurer Of the company, has he"
"Yes. He has to copy all the letters,
and take all the deposits to the bank,
and oh, Mary, I'm so proud Of him."
-Harper's Bazaar.
Church, like to see man who can
forget an injury. Gotham-Well, there's
that neighbor of mine; he's suing the
railroad company for an injured leg,
and every once in while he forgets to
limp !-Yonkers Statesman.
A kind old gentleman, seeing small
boy who was carrying a lot Of news
papers under his arm, said Don't
all those papers make you tired, my
boy% NAV; 1 don't read 'em," re-
piled the lad.-Canadian Courier.
But to my mind" said the clerical
tourist from the East, "a plurality of
wives is unspeakable" Huh" snort
ed the good-natured Mormon. II never
even heard Of one wife that was un-
speakable. e."-Phlladelphla Press.
Young Lady-You are wonderful
master of the piano, hear. Professor
Won Spieler (hired for the occasion)-
1 blay aggompaniments zometlmes. "Ac-
compartments to snging?" "Aggom-
panlments to conversations. ."-Tattler.
Walter-Mr. Browns left his umbrel-
la again, sir. do believe he'd leave
his head If it were loose. Robinson
l dare say you're right. l heard him
say only yesterday he was going to
Switzerland for his lungs.-Ally Sloper.
Church-See that man going along
with his head in the air, shifting with
his nose? Gotham-Yes; know him.
Church, suppose he believes in taking
In the good, pure ozone? Gotham-No
he's hunting for an automobile garage,
I belleve.-Yonkers Statesman.
II cracked a lawyers house the 9th
er night" said the first burglar, dis
gustedly, "and the lawyer was there
with gun all ready for me. He ad-
vised me ter git out" "You got Off
easy" replied the other. mot much
didn't! He charged me $25 for de ad-
vice."-Philadelphia Press.