The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-12-29
,Monsst Plsasanf Psysons
N Q. .. RAaTRD0E.

IT " V 4 xA8TkAD01s
 Dear ora College Chsnr. A dullard, | dollar.
 A high -standtnG collar. The latest and loudest of ties.
 A check suit to follar. With crazy coilegiate cries. Aaybsay, Lordi
 noS to ts,sgrapS fspordss adsr tising for wife. He will take maid or widow. either to be as old or young sss sdss sss M and sc csrry any sSnsi Sroin ises to treat her we'll. and that she will have mo wood to cut and tote, nor water to tote, nor the. cows to milk as long as he is aefe to do It." There is note of real helpfulness in the last part of the promise--from a young fellow cf eighty summers. The Nisht After Christmas. "one of the queerest combinations ever saw was brought out Of myste- rious trunk in the Recorders Court "The whole case, Beginning in circum- comic. became almost ridiculous when
 sTSe aS dsfendant. n .G a negro. e1r was charged with having stolen trunk with SEQ in it. and the trunk was brought in as
 ns ses t Two pig as Sers , caEgea 1t
 
 playing a trick, and fully expected to see rabbits hop out of 1t itscarrying bowls of gold-nsh in their mouths, and bons. and finally a mystic beauty.
 But nay. not so. It had been proven that the police officers recovered about sRow ns mhers e ana h wsn was rbe ne trunk did it's work, for when it was opened 1t showed the defendant had been making Christmas gifts. t A lied officer pulled forth set of furs; a ripple of laughter ran around the court roman room Then he pulled Tha out M bunch eh of the defendants Christmas"
 From Here to Broadway. "Forty-five minutes from Broadway slmistic Person yesterday. What is so hard is being forty-five hours from Broadway. and I have been it all my am forty-five years from Broadway. 1 have wanted to go to New York. save up enough to go, and about a year ago I thought I had the busi- ness tn hand; had me roll as big as a bun. I started, got half way, fell reach home again, gave up, never shall
 Tt is indeed a bitter world. q |
 Marry In Self Defense.
 T am going to marry in self-de- fense," remarked a bachelor yesterday. The Christmas I spent was really
 aof course 1t was all on account of the young un; my friends are just too lovely for anything in the world except me. But that child was my host or l was his slave, which can't say. was rather interested in him at first, for am very. very fond of his father and mother. But after a while the business began to pail.
 "He had an immense elephant which wound up nnceasingly for live min utes, and after resting casually for two minutes as the foolish brute wheeled awkwardiy about the nurs- cry wound for five minutes more. The menagerie performance lasted an hour. I had to find the wood and the nails, which latter held while the young man mutilated my fingers. was next tne by ds wSe the musical piece de resistance was al horrtd horn duet by the boy and me. In the meantime had peeled two from pound of nuts, seeded--of course his mother wouldn't trust a seed in his mouth and appendicitis so prevalent, too-eight bunchesl of rais- in,s opened and shut his ponderous clasp-knife until all my finger nails were ragged. taken three Roman can qleS rom nlIn as ne WdS JOcOSely IOSS- ing them into the fire---and perjured my soul to eternal destruction by swearing that I had never had bet ter time, I loved children and it was privilege to be among the young | folks.
 T am going to get married; a bachelor is not immune from the | treatment"
 | Mir Ludlow Fillmore. who was a pleas | ant visitor to kfnsmen in Montgomery | Christmas. has returned to Troy, where he is representing cotton firm during | the season.
 1 MT Frank Bates returned yesterday | from the country home of his parents in West Dallas, where he spent Christ mas. Mr James Weatheriy, a prominent | attorney of Birmingham. was in Mont .gomery yesterday.
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