The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-04-15
HUMAN 7T.TAETOo
BY Q < pARTRIDGA
The Latest Craze of tho Impractical Person and tho Placid Person.

bx U fAAIftlDGNs
 Did understand you to say Tit?'' asked the Impractical Person as he in- dicated to the Placid Person whom he had just met on the street a white horse ambling slowly across Court Square.
 Such was my remark" responded the Placid Person, thus signifying his willingness to accept The Impractical Persons challenge to a game of Human it-Tat- Too in which The Placid Person was apr rentiy to play the White- Horses and The impractical Person the mark and l continue the sentence by saying Tat" and The Plac.d Person with a very intelligent roll of his star board optic indicated white horse. drawing vegetable cart, careering very bravely along DexterAvenue.
 It would seem." The Placid Person said. that have this game pr. ctically won. It was very generous of vouu tt give me the advantage. The PeYson with Political Past would haye7 in- sisted upon playing the White-Horses If he. like you. had observe first play. It is very comme..aable in you anI I am loath to continue a play in which I have a rival of so courtiy and chivairous a spirit. and an advantage 50 marked"
 That's all right" Tn Impractical Person replied with easy assurance. We may as well play 1t out: the e1e- fnents of Human Tit-Tat-Too are as va- riaple and fickle and uncertain as the clements of human anything else. may have 8 run of luck and cry Tit. Tat-Too with such Quickness of suc- cession that 1t will startle you from your well-bred composure. Come over to this dry-goods box whore we can sit down and 1 shall show you rery pret- ty problem that The Person With Po- -iitical Past showed me. It Is for White to move and mate in two moves. and the two took their places upon box conveniently low and drawin~ a Tit Tat-Too board began ,nsideration of the problem in scriptural or written Tit-Tat-Too. It was notable, however, that each of them frequently looked f. Sm the scriptural game to the Human game. watching very closely for a White Horse or a Red Haired sGirl.
 The Impractical Person was In the midst of explanation of theory of the logical sequence of the move he pro- posed as a solution of the nroblem when The Placid Person remarked.
 Too" and pointed gravely to a white horse, drawing a buggy in whi were
 "Tit.Tat-Toow cried The Impractical Person at the same time and pointed to exactly the same turnout: then he fell upon the box and lay there rolling all red-haired," he finally contrived to say.
 The Placid Person appeared almost perturted.
 The White Horse is in front of the Red Haired Girls" he stated solemnly. "and therefore nay move, having prior lty has precedence, and wins the game for me-"
 ''The te-Horss is not in front of the Red-Haired-Girls," The 1mpractt- cal Person retorted with some heat. As the horse and the buggy were passing directly across our bows neither was closer thon the other. And l am sur prised at a person who has made so much of chivalry and o1d-time Southern gen. tlemen should resort to a bubble so low that think even The Person With A Political Past would halt ss 1t. And merely to win a game of Human Tit Tat-Too. I protest and appeal to the directors of the league"
 The Placid Person looked very hard at The impractical Person and then said. very mysteriously indeed.
 cit is a remarkable coincidence that three red haired girls should be driving just one white horse.
 Do you mean to insinuate-" The Impractical Persons voice and manner were grand, impressive
 q insinuate nothing" said The Placid Person; T now openly charge, and with that he bowed with grave rev. erence to The Pretty Person whose ar rival confirmed his sinister suspicious.
 where in the--where in the City. he asked her, did you find three red haired-girls willing to drive a white horse."
 The Pretty Person laughed delicious Iy. q bribed them with nickle's worth of bin d-eggs each. I made The Person Who Appears at Polite Parties buy them. That was the hardest part of it. Some men are so obstinate"
 The Pretty Person was startled from her weil-bred composure y the severe look The Placid Person gave her. That "The Person Who Periodically Appears at Polite Parties is a good fellow and he shan't be Ill treated. Impracticabil- ity and myself thought 1t necessary to discipline him with the bird-egg treat ment. but 1t s totally unnecessary to prosecute him."
 Unnecessary? Persecute? Hitty- tit ty," cried The Pretty oerson. When I need anything 1t Is not unnecessary. If The Person Who Periodically Ap- pears at Polite Parties is kind to me and willing to do me favors I'm sure 1t isn't my fault"
 The Pretty Porson's voice was very plaintive and sweet.
 practical Person; You say it," he said gently.
 I'd rather not" replied The Impract- teal Person, timorously at The Placid Person.
 Let us say 1t together. then" pro- posed The Placid Person, and when he and The Impractical Pc -on had as- stunned The Tweedledum-T1.-ee eedle- Dee posture. each with an arm over the oth- CTS shoulders they said in unison,
 "She Is magniticent."