Bisbee daily review., 1907-02-02


 when only two years old, and you can believe that have feeling for them. Yes. my father and mother were gored to death by a bull when was hardly more than an infant"
 How sad.' sighed the lady as shs took the seat motioned her.
 ''sut life Is full of just such sad cases, madam. We have the poor orphans with us. and they must be cared for. How many are there in the asylum you representT'
 over 200. and we have to turn away many applicants"
 well. we must attend 10 that. Your calling here this morning is what may be termed a curious coincidence. am s3ator Crofoot, grand promoter of yari- ous enterprises, and what may be called Humanitarian originator. Not an hour ago received charter for the incorporation of the Great American Orphan Consoler company, and this afternoon I am to visit two orphan asylums to explain the workings of the invention. It is strange that you should have come in on orphan asylum business as you did"
 And have you got something for the orphansI" she asked.
 ''The greatest, grandest, newest thing out, madam. Patented in America and all foreign countries. We begin the manufacture next week. President Roosevelt takes the first three ma chimes. Then comes the new president of France, and he Is followed by the emperor of Russia and the king of Eng land. I, as the inventor of the machine and the president of the company. am feeling rather buoyant. Have you 6 head for machinery, madamP
 q am afraid not, and yet I hope you will try to make me understand"
 "only too happy to do so. Let me start out by saying that orphan chil- dren get hungry as well as the other class"
 Certainly"
 '-They also have colic."
 .'Yes.'.
 ''They also need to be spanked occs- siona1ly. I am not an advocate of the bootjack and hairbrush. but as an or phan child myself I remember that there were days when I actually long ed to be spanked and wouldn't be good til I got it. Among the POO children in your asylum there must be many such"
 Perhaps" replied the lady in a doubtful way.
 ssr+ .a1-oS ,,-~a a+ Ia,s@ +a,, y,fy utes to feed an orphan kid" continued the major as he walked back and forth. Three feeds a day means thir. l ty minutes for each child. You must have Q nurse for every twenty chil. dren. You have ten at least in your asylum. If these could be dispensed with. look at the saving"
 "But how can they be dispensed 1 with '" was asked ''The children must be washed. dressed. bathed and fed and human hands must do it. They must also be attended to when ailing.'
 Twenty years ago all dishes were washed by hand. Then a genius in vented a machine that does the work | of fifteen women. am a genius. have invented something that knocks the dishwasher silly"
 "And you propose to take care oi children by machinery gasped the lady.
 ~You have struck if, madam. It car fa.done. as have successfully demon 3tlfted- My invention is a system oi pipes, tubes. spankers and levers, al svorked by the same dynamo. We vii say it Is morning. The children mus be washed. Very well. By turning { switch each and every one of them | dumped into trough and washed and bathed. Turn another switch and theJ aso dumped out. Their clothes ar' there ready ts put on, and machinsr, does it Every garment is buttones up and hooked up. The children nov want breakfast. All they have to d. Is to hold their mouths to certail spouts- There is warm milk, cold milk porridge and 80 on and SO forth. one of them wakes up with collie ther Is the paregoric spout If one is ach Ing for A spankfnR votl furn a swItcl