davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-12-26
SAVED BY QUICK WIT.
The Escape Of Sir Archibald Douglas
at Poitiers.

In the battle Of Poitiers 1855 num-
ber of Scottish soldiers fought on the
side of the French, and several of
them were taken prisoners by the Eng
lish. Among them was Sir Archibald
Douglas, half brother of Lord Will
liam Douglas. Being dressed in suit
of splendid armor, the victors thought
they had captured-as indeed they
had-some great nobleman. Several
of the English were about to strip off
his armor when Sir William Ramsay
of CoHuthie. who was also prisoner.
happening TO catch Sir Archibald's eye
gave him Il meaning look. Pretending
to be very angry. he cried out: You
rascal, how is 1t that you are wearing
your masters armor? Come here and
pull off my bootsw Douglas, seeming
ly thoroughly cowed, went humbly for
ward and drew off boot, with which
Sir william began to beat him. The
English onlookers at once interfered
on Douglas behalf. saying that he was
n person of great rank and lord.
What" shonted Ramsay, shaking
with laughter. HE a lord? Why, he
is base knave and, I suppose. has
slain his master. Go. you villain, and
search the field for the body of my
cousin, your master, and when you
have found it let me know, that l may
give it decent burial" All this was
acted so naturally that the English
allowed Ramsay to ransom the pre-
tended manservant for 40 shillings.
The money having been paid, Sir VII
liam gave Douglas another thrashing
and then bade him begone Sir Archi-
bald lost no time in effecting his es-
cape, which he owed solely to the in
genuity of his friend
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-12-26
PlNEAPPLES.
A Time When They Sold For $40 Each
In San Francisco.
come aga

In San Francisco.
In 1851 pineapples were rare in San
Francisco One day in that year one
of the passengers who had crossed the
isthmus of Darien before leaving Pan.
anna purchased from one Of the ma.
tives of that place a dozen pineapples
for a quarter of a dollar, and when he
landed in San Francisco he had six
left. He was carrying these from the
landing place at the foot Of Vallejo
street, where there were boat steps at
the end of twenty foot wharf. which
new arrivals approached by Whitehall
boats from the steamers that in those
days anchored in the stream 800 yards
from shore. The man was accosted
suddenly by a stranger who asked
him what he wanted "for that lot of
pineapples.'
"They are not for sale"
But l want them.' said the Cali
fornian
I'll sell you three" said the new ar
rival, who on the voyage had heard
that San Francisco people were liberal
buyers, and he added, but they'll cost
you So each"
Take en- was the curt reply, and
the fruit changed owners. the resident
passing over a Spanish coin known
then as a gold ounce" worth SIG in
trade.
Before the new purchaser had NOV
ed across Battery street, where the
transaction had taken place, he was
accosted by an acquaintance. who ask
ed him to let him have the fruit. A
dicker followed for two of them. the
acquaintance paying $40 apiece for
them. Later in the day the first pur-
chaser was boasting of the rapid man
ner by which he had cleared $5 and
still had a fine pineapple for supper
San FRANCISCO Call.
An Ideal Sitter.
A Washington artist while sketching
In North Carolina was one day in
search of a suitable background of
dark pines for n picture he had plan
ned At last he found the precise stu
alton he was seeking. and, best Of all.
there CHANGED to be pretty detail in
the figure of an old colored woman in
the foreground.
The artist asked the old woman to
remain seated until he had sketched
her. She assented with the greatest
good nature, but in a few minutes
asked how long the artist would be-
"Oh, only about a quarter of an
hour" he answered.
Three minutes or so later the old
darky again inquired-this time with
manifest anxiety-how long the opera
tion of sketching would take.
mot long" was the reassuring reply.
"But why do you ask so anxiously?"
"Oh nuthin' sab" the old woman
FASTENED to respond. "only rs sittin' on
an ant hill. sah."- Harper's Weekly.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-12-26

BRADY. whlzzing alore Riverside IN
bis big automobile. was lonely man
Before he had made his money he
had lived on farm. and IN h0rlps
back nnd forth from town there had
been the greetings of good nclghbofs
and the welcome of the farm hands
and at home the soclabiiity Of the
meals at the great table. where maids
and men gathered with the family.
There was no soclabIlity in New
York For days he had wandered into
the thenteis and through the hotels.
avoiding instinctlvely the men who
would have cultivated him merely for
what they could get out of him. but
finding no friends.
At last In desperation. he Aad learn
ed to drive an automobile and spent
his days I'm making long trips into the
country. hobnobbing with the farmers
who leaned over the fence rails TO
talk 20 him and leaving them wistfully
when they returned TO their toll.
Today as he sped down the drive.
with its rows of clihlike buildings, he
yearned for some CHEEKY spot where
he might cat and drink with a friend.
And 1t was at this moment that his eye
was caught by a sign in the window
of the little red house.
The little red house was set at the
edge of a vacant lot, and 1t seemed a
very shabby neighbor to the stately
white apartment house that flanked it
on the left 1t had a sloping roof. n
few vines chung to the porch. and just
above the door was the sign that had
attracted Brady's notice, and the sign
read, Fresh Cherry Pies"
Brady swept up to the curb and
climbed out of his machine. His great
form filed the low doorway and shut
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-12-26
SQUARED ACCOUNTS.
Also Won a Reputation and Saved
Himself Further Trouble

Press agents, like other individuals,
have their troubles but there is one in
Philadelphia who has fewer 9f them
than the ordinary man. Asked-bne day
how he managed so well TO get along
with everybody, he explained:
"Well, | won a reputation. You see,
when n press agent is able TO give a
man heart disease from which he ac-
tually dies his troubles cease if persons
have n proper regard for their lives.
was the press agent for a German
singing fest. | naturally used the Ger
man papers.
There was one editor who had the
idea that he wasn't getting all that
was due Nevertheless he published
column after column of type and pic
lures.
'Afterward the managers of the
show received bill for $500 for ad-
vertising' They were in a rage. What
shall we do?" they demanded Don't
get excited cautioned 'em. I'll fix
that all right
Il went to the office of a friend, and
going to the type cases. | stuck the
finest billhead you ever laid eyes on.
printed it in two inks 1t read. The
Two Continents Engraving Company;
John Smith. manager Next | wrote
this account, TO Peter Jacob Schmid-
theiser, Dr., TO cuts for German festi-
val $500
when Schmidtheiser received the
bill he tainted. He revived and sent
for me.
Fer vot is it you scharge me fer
der cuts vot | could puy fer 40 cents
abiece yet? he demanded.
"'Thats all right, old man. l as
sured him. You might buy those cuts
from anybody else for 40 cents apiece,
but not of me-
"He refused to pay the bill, but not
long afterward he was stricken with
heart disease and died. His executors
found the bill, with its balance of $40
in my favor. They asked me what I'd
take to settle, and l told them $50.
They paid 1t cheerfully, and since then
haven't had any trouble."-San Fran
cisco Chronicle.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-12-26

out the sunlight, so that at first he
could not see clearly the figure behind
the counter.
Il came in to ask about the cherry
pies" he said. Can / eat one here or
must carry 1t away with me?"
There was a ripple of laughter, and
Brady moved to one side and saw that
the person in charge was a girl, fresh
faced, pretty and trim.
you can eat 1t here" she said, tax
ing pie out of the case. People usu-
ally take them away. but there is n
little table and a chair, and | could
make you a cup of coffee"
Gould your Brady's tone was
eager I'm awfully hungry. and it is
so pleasant here"
She was cutting the pie. but she
looked up as he said that "Oh, do you
like it?" she asked Il hope every one
will. | am just beginning business.
and want to make fortune"
Brady. who had made his fortune in
oil, was much interested in this more
picturesque method
DO you sell many" he asked
Twenty yesterday" she confided. II
worked at night to get them ready but
1t seemed as If every one wanted cher
ry pies The people in the apartment
house came. and have sold out every
thing today except this one pie
1t was beautiful pie. with II deli
cate brown crust overlaid with pow
dered sugar and all rosy and juicy and
delicious within.
II don't wonder that people came"
commented Brady as he sat down at
the little table. which she had spread
-" Snotlass cloth
She was like a child in her delight at
his compliment
1T was the only thing in the world
that | knew how TO do" she said. "and
when | was left alone and lost the lit
tie income that my father had left me
I decided to bake for living"
She was sitting opposite him. and he
liked the unconsciousness with which
she gave him her confidence
81 lived !n the country when l was a
little girl. and my mother taught me to
cook
I'm from the country, too" Brady
said
II thought So" she said. with a wise
nod. 81 think that is why | could tell
you things. One can't always be sure
of city men"
Don't you hate the city?" Brady
asked.
She shook her head. NO." she said
ut would be beautiful If one had
friends or any one to care"
well, that's what | mean," Brady
said Its so dead lonesome"
He had finished his pie, and he got
up reluctantly. I'm sorry" he said,
but guess I'd better 60"
She went to the door with him.
What beautiful automobiler' she
said when she saw it.
"Yes, it's pretty NICE" Brady agreed.
"But 1t isn't much fun driving around
by myself"
mo, I suppose not" sympathetic-
ally.
There was moments silence. Then
Brady spoke his thoughts boldly
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-12-26
Clean Chcnsticks Snrr.

Seeing these quill toothpicks done
up in paper envelopes in the hotels
here" said the man from the far east.
reminds me of the japanese eating
places. In the bigger hotels or restau-
rants they hand you the chopsticks
done up I'm a sealed envelope. This is
with the idea Of convincing you that
they never have been used before.
which is not always So In the chear
er restaurants they have a much bet
ter plan for setting your mind at rest
There you get a piece Of wood as
Lroad as two chopsticks split to with
in an inch of one end. When you take
this piece of wood you split it the rest
of the way, and there you have the
two sticks. You can be sure then that
no other person has used them."--New
York Sun.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-12-26
The City of Glorious Sunshine.

OF all the living works of man which
| have visited | think none is the equal
Of Moscow in interest and beauty. It
is city OF glorious sunshine. OF gold
en- domes and silver crosses and of
multicolored cupolas, of palaces and
temples. In it are found all the re-
tinements of the west and all the Gu
rious fascnations OF the east Even
the incidents of ordinary commonplace
civilized life are touched by a flavor OF
romance. World Magazine.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-12-26

oessf Vstisnss N Impressions 81 -
she Sane Object

ths Sane Object
I ntke1 mt mtn 80 compare the aits
~ che fuf moon ~ that 1T sume Oh
iett held in The hand nj arms length
7 explained ihe question rafcfuIif and
fai8 that thet wefe fu dfsrflfe m
object fusi large enough vhoa seen ~
arms length % cover The whole monn
Ny llst of answers heeins aa follows,
Quarter ~ O dollar. fair sized canta
loupe of the horizon large dinner
plate; overhead dessert plate. my
watch sir Inches IN diameter. silver
dollar hundred times as large ne nv
watch. mnns head hfty cent piece
nine irchcs IN diameter grape fruit
carriage wheel butter plate orange.
ten feet two inches. ono cent piece.
sehooiroom clock pea soup plate.
fountain pen. lemon pie. palm of the
hand. three feet In diameter enough
20 show again the overwhelming man
ifodncss Of the Impressions received
To the surprise Of my readers per
haps it may he added al once that the
only man who was right was the one
who compared it 10 n pea II IL most
probable that the results would not
have been different II had asked the
question 90 moonlight night with the
full moon overhead The substitution
of the memory image for the lmmedl-
ate perception can hardly have i'm
paired the correctness Of the tudg-
ments. If in any court the size Of
distant object were to be given by
witnesses. ana one man declared Il as
large as a pea and the second as large
as lemon pie and the third ten feet
in diameter it would hardly he fair to
form an objective judgment tin the
psychologist had found ont what kind
Of a mind was producing that esti-
mate. - Professor Hugo Munsterberg
I'm McClures
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-12-26
Curious WestmerIand Custom.

a strange custom is observed yearly
in the small hamlet of Week. in West
morland, In commemoration of an in.
cident that happened in the year 1871, :,
That year there was plague of wasps
and many persons throughout the
country succumbed TO the poisonous.
sting. The little hamlet holds the rec.
ord for its number of victims, and in
memory of the occurrence n memorial
tablet was erected on the moor there.
Now each year there is a procession
Most of the inhabitants turn out, car
rying insect powder and other devices
for killing wasps. and march TO the
memorial stone. where n short service
is held by the minister of the parish.
When the service is over n general cru.
sade is made in search of waSps nests,
which are Immediately destroyed.
Some carry guns, some rags saturated
in turpentine. while others carry par,
aftin. which is poured into the nest and
n match applied. The anniversary is
considered the most important event OF
the year.-English Country Gentleman.
Are you superstition"
Not a bit answered the man who
is rather ashamed of his little weak
nesses. Il have nothing to do with
superstition In fact, l have observed
that whenever | begin to take notice OF
signs l always have bad luck WASH
ington Star.
Surgeons are the weakest of all fish
in proportion to their size. A huge
sturgeon is perfectly helpless if attack
ed by small swordfish
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-12-26
A Lucky Hit.
~ Martha Cobb sanford.
n, Martha Cobb sanford
copyrighted. ir7. d, iiomer spr"sup.

A mnH sat on the brow uf q hill and
Kicked himself Incidentally he was
smoking cigarette and watching the
tunsot
why. oh. why. had he ever thought
that he needed absolute rest ana quiet
that he didn't want ever 60 hear ap
plause again or to- look into peoples
faccsl 4 solid week Of this coveted
solitude had made him "a saddcr and
a wiser mnn" What wouldn't he give
this very moment for something 10
happen5
lie Jumped up suddenly. Something
had happened, something very aggra-
waiting. As he stopped down TO pick up
the little green apple that had hit him
square on the shoulder a boyish laugh
rang out on the other side Of a nearby
fence.
He threw the apple back over the
fence again and reversed his opinion
on the value Of absolute quiet
The next night the same thing hap
pened, only this time when the apple
reused him from his reverie the sun
had been some time set and darkness
and silence weAf stealing over the hill.
"Tll catch that Kid this time" he
said jumping up.
With a run and bound he made the
fence and landed lightly on the other
side face to face with young fellow
almost as tall as himself.
"Well bless my soulr' he exclaimed.
81 expected to find a kid. | was com
ing over to lick you"
Forget it," returned the youth, lead
ing the way to seat under luxuri-
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-12-26

white hands and could hardls hisms
him
"t'n take 'cm N for tau" urged Win.
cont "a stnp ON"
40. thanks ttsides. I've got ~ 70
up tn town tomorrow afternoon with
grandmother"
"t've road mind 81 ra myself
said Vlnceu "Thls country iifc's get.
ting ON mt nerves. What train are
yen going onT
"givc 10 up. answered the boy r.
sirnrdlv Grandmother changes her
mind every Eve minutes. nut youil
find country life all right after 20.
night old man I'm going 70 bring my
sister back with me"
"Didu't know You had one, Nix
That's jolly what's she llkeT"
"Thc Freshest ever"
Good. Is she prcttyT
People tell her so She pretends
not 10 like II. hut bet she does"
Introduce me the very first thingi"
AS soon as you like"
Then the boy sighed.
whats the matter with you. Nix7'
"Oh. Just thinking how It win be all
over with me after she comes. | can
see YOU falling In love with her now.
What does il feel like. Win, to he In
loveT"
"Tcll YOU. my child. when I've been
there"
"Oh. fudge! You've becu there a
dozen times"
Honor. havent thought | was
sometimes. Of course. Just as you will
Nix. when all the girls begin to run
after YOU"
"They never Will" sighed Nix.
Don't you believe It, Girls adore
eyes like yours Are your sisters eyes
that same wonderful blue, and has she
curly brown hair like yoursf"
ooh quit it, Nix replied petulant
ly and walked off toward the house In
the darkness.
The next night in order not TO seem
too eager Vincent let the sun disappear
and waited for the young moon 10
hang up her crescent before he took
his usual way mp the hill. He discard
ed the short cut over the fence and
made a very proper entrance through
the garden gate.
As he neared the grape arbor he
could see the white folds of woman's
skirt and his heart huttered with an.
ticipation.
"Nlr. Vnceut?' asked the young girl
standing hesitatngly at the other end
of the arbor My brother was detain.
H.. T.. ..a1a. tf.sH
nix, you witch. come herev laugh.
ed Vincent crushing the girl to him in
all her freshness and kissing away her
little gasps of eXpostulation.
when did you find it out?" she
managed TO get breath enough to say
Mt last.
q knew it all the time" answered
Vincent softly.
"Oh. ohr' exclaimed the girl and hid
her hot cheeks in her hands. How did
you know it?'
Il had seen you in those charming
boys togs before. little actress, and
recognized you the moment | jumped
over the fence, though | could scarcely
believe my eyes"
You We're at those theatricals?" ?"
gasped the girl. Goodness gracious!
You aren't John Vinton, the actor, are
you. the one we girls rave over?"
The very sal mean I'm John Vim.
cent. the actor. But, honor bright, |
didn't expect TO find my own particu
lar star
The girl gave him reproachful
look
Il wonder why l didn't recognize
you? she asked.
Probably" he answered laughingly
because I'm not lady on the stage
But tell me, dear, what made you play
such prank"
"Well. you see. grandma" here they
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-12-26

.4.as.4tul fntus~. unu tunt a. w.s s
took tuu tsuras tun don't iibe mY
present ie yuu De- tonT'
tIsHt u M. nHltf an my lifr have
l.pon planning to do things. aud when
the tIur conus q De- them my ambl
ton b. gone I long for something dif
fcreut perhaps something I ought not
10 have Then when I act Ct ! don't
want H lta just az n reached put
aud tuuDhcd q passing bubble aud. nt
my touch 10 burst Vet There is OF.
ways tbst longing lu my heart Tor an
unknown something. aud II turks there
still"
Janet little girl, my present TO YOU
was not much of success wanted
TO make you happy and only succeed
ed IN frightening YOU. suppose we
turn the tables and you give me n
prescnty'
why. | never heard of a girl giving
n present to some one else on her own
birthday. What under the sun do you
mcanT
Il mean this. dear. want n present
that only YOU can give me. It's q big,
IHefiNHN lfIt@tHls lbu NhA AWh Ath 4
know what you long for. but | know
what am reaching for, and that some
thing is you. Janet WIN you give
yourself to me. present 10 keep al
ways and 10 love foreverT'
billy, that waitress heard every
word you said. It's not fair to propose
to n girl in an ice cream parlor. |
wouldn't dare say No If I wanted to-"
"Do you want to say NO. JanetT'
almost whispered Billy.
"Well. to lac perfectly honest. don't
think | do Billy. maybe. after all. it's
you I'm longing for. maybe it's you
I've been reaching out for all the time.
I guess it must be. Billy, dear, because
| have been happier in these past few
minutes than I've ever been in all my
life before If you'll take me, Billy,
I'm Xp1rC -
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-12-26

she hesiiaied = don't heitevs I
ought. che satd
trnds looted down NJ her cant
son trust meT be aated
iiet eyes met his steady biue ones
Yes she satd simply nad sent 10 put
On tcf hat
"Yon sce." she told hlia as they swept
along between the green nelds. "if
! soil twenty plies p day NJ % cents
that will b. 81 day ought 10
clear 500 q month" Ana she leaned
back. with n sigh II content
Brady. whose income was si00 or
more day. asked with interest.
What are sou going 10 do with atl
that moueyT
Save It and buy cottage IN the
country. with n fireplace and cat and
dog and COW"
Brady's soul was stirred by this pic.
ture of domesticity. aud he asked en-
viously.
"wili sou bake cherry pies7"
Yes" she planned. Il am going 10
have n cherry tree and nm apple tree.
You have never tnsted such apple tarts
as can make"
Brady turned In his seat and looked
at her Il am going 10 taste them,'
he informed her. II am going to come
and see you in your cottage"
/ She laughed "Such air castlesf'
was her way of settling the question.
But Bradys chin was set with
squareness. and there was determine.
! tion In his tones. II don't see how |
can wait for you TO build that cottage,
shall do II myself. and there shall be
a fircplace-such fireplace-with two
big chairs on the hearth"-he paused
expressively-"and cat, comfortable
| tabby cat. and n nice. coniding dog
and mild eyed COW, and | am going
to invite you to my cottage TO make
my apple tarts."
/ She smiled at him without self con.
/ sciousness. what dreamers we arep
"Well. maybe you think it's dream
-Brady's tone was dogged-"but some
/ day | shall ask you to come"
There was no mistaking what he
meant.
/ "Please don't" she begged.
/ Brady gave her a whimsical glance.
"Well, suppose it is too soon to talR
/ about it." he agreed. But that cot
/ tage will need something besides a COW
I and dog and a cat for me to be hap
by. 1t will need n wife and woman
worth loving-and until today hadn't
| seen such a woman"
/ you have known me but three
/ hours"
"Three hours or three years! What's
the difference when l know 1 have
found the one I want?"
They were back again on the city
drive, and the little red house was In
sight.
I'VE don't have TO settle anything
now," Brady told her quietly. "Oi
course l couldn't expect you to feel the
way | do. But what want to know
is this-may | come again.
She hesitated; then, as he lifted heI
out of the car with his strong arms
she smiled up at him.
Yes" she said, "if you like you may
/ come again"
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-12-26
The Wisdom of Dorothy.

Dorothy does not relish being left
alone TO go to sleep. One night after
she is tucked in bed by her mother,
who then leaves her, she calls to her
father and asks If he isn't coming to
bed after he finishes his dinner.
Eyes; I'll go to bed as soon as my
dinner digests."
"All right; come upstairs now. Your
dinner will digest upstairs just as well
as down" argues the young hopeful
Judges Library.
The strongest things are in danger
from the weakest.-Disraeu.