The Washington herald., 1907-12-08
Many Now Are Declining to
/. Receive Presents.
CUSTOM IS FAST DYING OUT
Indiscriminate offerings Become I'm
popular Through the Frequent Re
minders Of Distant Acquaintance.
Independent Folk Limit Invita-
tiOns, Incorporating Objective.

Z
other addicted to the promiscuous sending
Of costly bridal gifts to persons often not
even known by sight. there is something
stratling about a wedding invitation which
warns its recipient that gifts viii not be
received, but when number OF such bits
Of pasteboard drifted into all the social
corners of Greater New York there went
uD universal sigh OF relief says NJ. W.
Mount, in the New York Tribune
Universal. that is. il one may except
those newly welded people WHO have
looked forward to the enjoyable excite
ment of opening innumerable boxes in de-
Nghtful uncertainty as TO whether their
contents would disclose piece OF eut
glass. a gold enameled jeweied cabinet
box, another set of spoons the tenth
favrile vase. or the fifteenth clock
These are the persons who if they did
not inscribe upon their wedding invita-
lions do not come without gift. i'm
piled IT, Too well they know that persons
IN doubt whether they should or should
not send gifts VIII in future be likely 10
err on the side of the new idea and not
send them. One Of last years brides re-
ceived from a wealthy but almost un-
known acquaintance box of superb roses
on her wedding day.
The flowers cost more than stereO-
typed gift would have done. but this is
a method that some people are employing
now to show their disapproval Of the
habit Of sending gifts indiscriminately.
while conforming TO the custom in man
ner which could not give offense.
Many have felt that the burden OF gift
buying has grown beyond all reasonable
proportions and has even become a seri-
Gus vexation TO those who feel compelled
personally to select the gifts and cannot
give the necessary time without adding
to business cares. and often involving
business losses.
Difficulty of Choice.
Men especially are somewhat helpless
when confronted by the continual neees-
sity of purchasing presents for those
about to marry. officials in a certain
corporation have solved this difficulty by
depending upon a woman empIoye 10
make their purchases for them. Her
judgment in the matter OF selection is
so good that her Office work is seriously
interfered with by the demands made
upon her time in this respect.
Men who have no one 10 shop for them
in whose taste and Judgment they can
place any dependence are wont to order
gifts by telephone or mail This is so
generally done and the articles which
can be so ordered belong to such n limited
class that herein lies an explanation OF
forty clocks received by one couple re-
Gently and the quantities of duplicate
articles belonging 70 this class of we'd
ding presents which are sent 10 every
bride
Besides the tax upon time, patience. and
purse imposed by the practice of indis-
criminate giving. many families have
grown To dislike being placed under obli-
cations 10 persons with whom they did
not have, and did not wish 10 have. more
than a slight acquaintance. Men could
hardly ignore az clubs. in business trans
actions. and elsewhere others who had
presented members OF their families with
costly gifts.
Then, too, many a young man al the
outset Of his married life found himself
handicapped by the necessity OF extending
hospitality which ne could not afford
or OF making reciprocal presents 70 those
who had 50 honOred him upon tie occ.i-
sion Of his marriage
Verbal and engraved notices not 10 send
Sits 20 brides are serving IS an entering
wedge TO break III this habit which
many think has become an actual nuis-
aTce
Hitherto such has been the urwritten
law on this subject trat many guess felt
they cou'd not present themselves at
q home Wedding ceremony or reception
~, l-e l.a
come by sending the expected present
List of Guests Enlarged.
Another thing which has caused the
custom 10 be looked upon with disfavor
is the change which has gradually taken
place in the class and number of guests
invited 10 a wedding. Formerly reIa-
tives. friends. and more or ,ess intimate
acquaintance composed the lists OF
guests Later il became the rule 70 ex-
tend the courtesy Of an invitation to
those likely to- become Of future social
service TO the bride or Of business bene-
1T TO the bridegroom, as well as to per-
sons slightly known by the brides fam
ily and TO whom it was desired 20 show
an attention which would not necessarily
imply wish for closer acquaintance.
This extension of wedding courtesies
soon made marriage ceremOnials a bur-
den in many ways. Room had TO be pro
vided in churches and houses for many
hundreds of persons; the issuing OF in
vitatiOns became a serious vexation. for
it proved difficult not to offend some by
an omission regarded by them as a slight,
however unintentional it might have
been. To escape this and the other exac-
lions OF modern wedding. many So
called secret marriage" and "elopement''
have taken place-amicably arranged in
family council beforehand
The reception of duplicate presents OF
course makes it easier 10 bestow some Of
the duplicates upon others embarking
upon n double Hfe," but two recent
couples have been in a quandary as to
which of a score or more of chafing
dishes to keep. which TO exchange. and
which TO pass on to some other young
couple. The same problem. in even more
magniied form. was presented TO them
together with supply Of clocks sufficient
to stock fair sized shop
Silversmiths are accustomed TO ex-
change duplicated wedding presents for
other articles more desirable and there
is usually no difficulty whatever in the
transaction except when gifts are carried
to houses whose names cOESpicuOusly
appear on the boxes which contain them. |
and the mortified bride learns that only
the box has been furnished by that es-
adjustment and the contents purchased
from much less fashionable and ex- |
pensive firm.
One night say it serves people right to |
be mortified in the act OF bartering away |
a eift. but what are young householders /
10 GO with some twenty dozen spoons and 1
no forks? Or wherein a New York 4
apartment house-may room be found for
half a score Of cut glass punch bowls? /