davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
a Crcstfalion Inspector.

When forn!C. Minister Wa Tim Fang
left It's country hc Was accompanied
by nh extensive retinUc and attended
10 the steamer b. Il delegation Of 10
cal Chinese merchants. The customs
officials, who then were also lmmigra
ton inspectors, carefully took Tie
names and count OF the local Chinese
as they went on board. This precau
ton was 10 prevent some deported ol
otherv iso not welcome Celestial from
efecting Il landing by Joining the mer
chants as they came ashore after tax
ing ceremonious farewell of their dis
tinguished countryman. Half an hour
o. so after Wa and his friends had
gone on board one Of Wu's secretaries
arrived Oh the dock and was hurryine
up the gangplank when a customs In
spector seized him by the arm ant
pulled him back on the wharf.
-Washamalla you, John? no takeC
name, you no can come back. Who
you belongT' said the inspector, smil
ing at some girls with whom he had
been talking.
The Chinese shook loose the inspect
or's hold on the loose sleeve Of bis
silk robe and with quiet dignity re
marked:
This violence Is unnecessary. sir
and my name IL matter of no Inter
est TO you. | am member OF bis
excellency's suit go on board this
steamer to leave this country never
again, hope. to return
That customs inspector is still OF
the force, but never since has he tried
10 be funny with Chinese gentleman
San Francisco Call.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
Whore Hat Straw Comes From.

In Italy To raise straw employed In
making hats the wheat IS sOwn aS
thickly rs possible In order that tho
growth OF the plant may be impoycr
Ishei as well as to produce u thin
stalk having toward the end from the
last knot the lightest and longest
straw. The wheat blooms at the be
ginning Of June and IS pulled up by
the roots by hand when the grain Is
half developed If allowed to remain
In the ground a longer time the straw
would become brittle About five doz-
en- uprooted branches the size OF the
compass OF two hands are firmly tied
together into little sheaves and slowed
away I'm barns. Then the straw Is
again spread out 10 catch the heavy
summer dews and TO bleach In the sun
After additional bleaching the straw
is put into small bundles and classified.
Finally It Is cut close above the first
Joint from the top and again tied up
In small bundles containing about six
~ stalks each and delivered 10 women
In almost every private dwelling Of
the poorer classes.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
Smart Bow Wins.

TIE visitor was examining the class
Of small boys. He held the chalk In
midair.
what number shall / draw on the
boardf" he asked Of one boy.
The boy replied, "Thirty-two."
The visitor drew the number back
ward. which made twenty-three.
"Is that rightT" asked the visitor.
"Yes, sir; yes, sir" answered the boy
IN a timid way.
What number shall take nowT he
asked Of another.
The boy answered, "sixty-two,'
whereupon the visitor drew the num-
ber backward, as before-twenty-six.
ais that right?" he asked.
"Yes. sir" replied the boy.
A long way back bright eyed boy
held up q waverIng hand.
What number shall draw for your
asked tAc visitor.
The boy called ont, "Forty-four!
Then. when the visitor had drawn IL,
he yelled ont, Nov, II you are so
blamed smart, twist that around!'
New York Globe.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
Cakes and sausaaes In Germany

Germany is the land Of variety In
sausages and cakes" said William
George Bruce. when made my visit
to that country recently l took occa-
sion to eat at restaurants in practical
ly every city | came TO. am not
stretching 1t Il bit when l say that in
one restaurant In Dresden there were
200 varieties OF sausages on the bill OF
fare.
The same holds good OF cakes. You
enter q restaurant or bakery Ia which
coffee is served. The obligng waiter
will set before you specially designed
cake holder on which the several va
neties are placed In convenient tiers,
30 that you pick out any kind you
want without disarranging the whole.
There is another feature OF restau-
rant customs In Germany that struck
me as out OF the ordinary. While per
haps a dozen cakes are set before you
to choose from. You only pay for the
exact number you eat. When you are
done with your luncheon the waiter
will count up what IS remaining and
charge you for the difference Mil
waukee Sentinel
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
One OF Them.

A foreign tourist who had received
permission TO visit one Of our large
asylums for the insane was surprised
M the neatness, quietude and good or
der that prevailed within the institu'
ton. He asked II It was always like
that. ana the polite attendant who was
showing him through the buildings
said ii was.
Eve have what we call our violent
wards. of course, but | presume you
would not care to see these
"I think not"
"It is Just as we'll. perhaps. They
are rather noisy, although, OF course
we exercise the same care In providing
for the welfare of the inmates thai
YOU see In this part Of the institution
We also have n section where we keel
the 1ncurables.
These inmates, then, are CONSIDERED
durable"
"Their cases are at least hopeful"
81 am greatly Interested" said th'
visitor, but | will not take up any
more of your time. You have. othel
duties 10 attend to, have you notr'
"Yes. sir. This is merely one OF m!
recreations. In one Of the rooms II
the main building I am engaged our
Ing most of the time in pursuing VIVA
may be called my life work"
"Your life work? May l ask VIVA
that isY'
Haven't you heardT' said the al
tendant. in a tone Of astoniShment. :"
am compiling an index to Websters Ole
tionary."-Youth's Companion.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
ImnrovIna Nature.

To "pa!nt the lily; TO gild refined
vold" when taken I'm a literai sense
seem processes too absurd for serious
deliberation. Flowers Of unnatural
h.ys however, bloom in florists WIN.
daws and the color green as applied
70 the carnation is no longer confined
10 the title of book. But the Persians
do even worse things In the name oil
beauty. They dress up their flowers
according to Mr.. Wills in The Land
of Lion and sun"
Persia is not a land of flowers. I'm
MAS. conyolyulus. asters. balsams. wall
flowers. chrysanthemums, marigolds
and roses are the principal blooms oi
the country.
The Persians. not content with tne
plain flower. cut rings Of colored pa
per. cloth or velvet and ornament the
bloom. placing the circles of divers
bues between the first and second rows
OF petals
The effect IS strange. One, at hrs'
glance. supposes he sees bouquet ol
curious and bizarre flowers of entirely
new varieties.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
A Ein-ncial Embarrassment.

A lady who had kindly remem'
brance for all her domestic servants
met an erstwhilc washerwoman ana
stopped to ask her how she Jared.
"Oh. mem, It's turrible finanshul dis
thress me an the chllder's in"
"Why. what is Il? Are you out OF
employmentT
mo. mem. Works I'm fair state o
stiddincss and not cint do / owe, buf
It's lashins o. trouble I've got!
Are you not paid promptyT
"As promptly as the day cooms
round"
what Is your financial distress,
them
swell, mcm" Gn burst OF horror.
whats KILN me is, | earn 50 the
week an pay So for me boord. an
God only knows how I do it|-shors
Stories.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
lncidental Music.

One afternoon a couple from an od-
Joining town presented themselves 10
a Boston divine and asked to be mar
ried just a. ne was about 20 enter ne
pulpit 20 conduct an afternoon service.
The minister replied that he regretted
that he could not ut that moment COM
ply with their wish. but that immedi-
ately upon The conclusion of the scrv-
ice he would take pleasure In perform
Ing the ceremony. The lovers, after
demurrlng, seated themselves in the
rear of the church. When the minister
had finished the service he made the
following announcement: The parties
who are TO be Joined In matrimOny Will
present themselves at the chancel i'm
mediately after the singing OF hymn
415, Mistaken Souls That Dream OF
Heaven"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
Faithful 70 the End.

The Games cracked Omlnously, th'
water bubbled IN the great pot anC
seated In the shade Of palm Ht
naked savages began TO sharpen then
cruel knives,
"ls there no hopper murmured tht
C ned commercial traveller.
None" hissel the ebon chief.
Then" said the young man, point
irg 10 his sample case, IF You are DE-
termlned TO cat NE, al least lot DE
ask you, as a last favor. 70 try ouI
brand of mustard with the feast
am convinced that one trial Will secure
US your permanent patronage, and T.
But strong arms seized him here
there was a splash, and all was oyer.-
Los Angeles Times
-~-~e=-~ r1rsksFa 1Izr~--
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
For Shakespeare's Sake.

There is something remarkably at-
tractive for an actress in the rolling
cadences Of the Bard OF Avon. ana /
do not wonder that so many players
dream Of playing his work. l think IL
was In Los Angeles some years ago
that a young actor who was then be-
coming popular decided that the time
was ripe for him to do Hamlet. What
his mental process was in arriving nj
this decision | have Of course nc
means OF knowing, but an apocryphal
anecdote was told of him the morning
after his first appearance as the mel
ancholy Dane. Ii seems friend ap
preached him and said:
How do you feel this morningT
"I have failed to get my whole mean
ing into the character. | snail never
play Hamlet again" was the reply.
"Oh, but you must play the part once
again." demonstrated the friend.
"And whyY asked the young actor
despondently.
shakespeare turned over In his COZ
fin last night You will have to do u
once again, for you can't leave the poor
chap In that position" said the friehd
Eleanor Robson in Bohemian.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
Paternal Duties.

Modern life with It's haste and
hustle leaves too little time for the
JOYS Of fatherho0d. ore father comes
home late from business, tired and
peevlsh. and cannot devote much time
to his children. even If lie would. An
other has had enough Of the cares and
worries of the day and seeks dissipa-
tion outside tie home. Yet fathers
can give their children something bet.
ter than money; they can give them
selves -Dcutschc Monatschrift.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
Wanted Permanent Employment.

Old Sam had been for several days
patiently sitting on the bank of the
Rappahannock river near the dam.
holding his shotgun In his hand.
Finally he attracted the attention OF
a passerby, who asked, "Well, Uncle
Sam, are you looking for something to
doY
NO. sah." answered Sam. Us get
tin paid fo' what is doin'."
Indeed answered the stranger
"And what may that beT
"Shootln de muskrats dat am under
minin' de dam" answered Sam.
well, there goes one now" exclalm-
ed the stranger excitedly. why don't
you shoot?"
"S'pose wants to lose my job.
sahY answered Sam complacently.-
Llppincott's Magazine.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
The Boomerang and Its Inventors.

The boomerang Is rather puzzle.
One might think that the highest laws
OF mathematics had been laid under
contribution in the perfecting or II.
The convexity on one side, the hatness
Oh the other and the sharp, knifelike
edge on the inside of the convexity
have the air Of having been carefully
thought out. Yet the people who In
vented this singular weapon cannon
count higher than five and are desu'
tute OF oil the arts and amenities OF
life. Theirs is perhaps the lowest
plane OF human life. Some people have
assumed that the boomerang was the
creation Of an older and higher civiii'
Eation. but for this there Is no evidence
II must be the product Of an age long
empirical use Of throwing weapons
London Spectator.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23

The pOlyp is the most remarkable
creature Oh earth. If cut transversely
or lOngitud!nally into several parts,
each VIII become a perfect animal
Trembly turled them inside out and
they ate and enjoyed themselves as
much as ever. He slit two longitude
nally, placed the halves together and
united them into two animals. He
divided two transversely and created
one with two heads. He pushed one
down the throat Of another. third
down the throat Of the second, and thus
formed a creature with three heads
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
A. Japanese See Il.

II Is said the japanese think our
grown women most alarmingly over
grown. very shocking In their costume
and quite dreadful as regards their
teeth and their feet-in word, out
raseous. They consider the klmono
preferable to western habiliments be-
cause 1t 80 completely obliterates the
lines Of the figure. They teach girls to
talk with their lips almost closed. con-
cealing the teeth. and to walk with the
feet parallel In tiny steps or even toe
ing ln.-Kansas City Journal.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
c,rdv's Criticism.

A young Scotchman went to Lon
don school Of music, where he learned
10 play the violoncello fairly well. On
his return TO his native village he gath'
cred his friends together to hear bis
new instrument. When he had played
one or two tunes, he looked up expec'
tantly. After a slight pause his old
grandfather spoke.
"Eh, maun," he said, "it's a maircy
there's ma smell wi it!'-Liverpoo
Mercury.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
And the Boy Was Right.

"If one quart OF berries cost "a
cents. how much would three quarts
costY' asked n Brooklyn teacher In an
oral test the other day.
.sThcy would cost you p cents.
promptly responded little boy. I'VE
have nothing less than l cent In ouI
money, and the man would just make
IL 70 cents."--New York Press.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
Racing at Ascot.

Racing ut Ascot dates back grea'
number of years. and Ii is recorded tha'
Queen Anne was the first royal person
age to patronlze the fixture. M I'LL
The first and second Georges were not
great patrons Of the turf, but they
bred race horses on a large scale IN
order TO encourage their subjects, and
George III. gave a plate of 100 guineas
to be competed for. Ever since those
times the great annual festival on ule
famous Berkshire heath has met WITH
royal favor.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
So Manyf

They went In to dinner together. lie
was very bashful. and she tried In vain
10 draw hlr. out Finally she began 10
talk books, and he became responsive.
"And Hugo" she asked, "do you like
his styley''
-Oh. yes" he replied. II find him In
tensely interesting. I've read a num-
Der OF his books"
Then she asked, Have you read
Ninety -ThreeT
mo. rve-er-oniy read three.
didn't know he had written so many"
-Lippincott's Magazine.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23

Perhaps the lot peculiar will ever
written was Pre- ated in England at
doctors commons, July II, 1888. II
ran as follows.
/ give aLl bequeath.
When / an laid underneath.
To my two loving sisters. most dear.
The whole of my store.
Were Il twice as much more.
Which Gods goodness has granted me
here.
And that none may prevent
This my will and intent.
Or occasion the least OF law racket,
With n solemn appeal
confirm sign and seal
This the true act and deed OF WIN Jacket
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
How Will the World Endf

II has always been an intensely In
teresting conjecture 10 scientists and
Mt the same time. the greater part Oh
the other intelligent members OF soci'
etv as 10 the way IN which our world
will at length come TO an end. Many
think that 1t Will be through the gradu'
al cooling Of the sun, which Will even
tually fail to give out sufficient heat
to sustain life on our planet. But an
other-and q particularly unpleasant
fate that might befall US Is explained
in work by Mr.. Ellard Gore. Real
danger" says be, rs always to be
feared from the presence of Immense
dark bodies. moving unseen In space,
vast dead suns, whose collision with
our own would increase It's heat
enormously and thus instantly destroy
the earth" We should not, however,
be without q warning Of our terrible
end. for on entering radius OF 10000.
100000 miles from the sun the advanc'
ing body would begin TO shine with re-
fected light and fifteen years would
elapse between the time Of the destroy.
er's being sighted and its collision
with the sun.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23

what time is II. my ladY asked q
traveller OF small boy who was driv-
Ing a couple OF cows home from the
felds."
almost Il o'clock, sir" replied the
boy.
II thought II vas more"
sTfs never any more here" returned
the lad, I'm surprise. 1T just begins Is
! again. n."-Lnstige Batter.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
Mo Reform Wanted.

81 hope he'll reform when you are
married"
"I don'tr'
"Why, he spends every cent LIE
earnsP'
~ know II, but he spends it on me-"
Houston Post.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
9eraibIe Preference.

In one of Miss Mulock's stories she
saws that "a cheerful heart seeth cheer
full things" and gives this incident IN
proof Of it:
A lady ard gentleman were In ium
ber yard situated by dirty. foul smell,
ing river The lady said, How good
the pine boards smell"
"Pine boardsw exclaimed the gehtie'
man. lust smell that foul river|
mo, thank you," was the reply 4
nrefer 10 smell the pine boards"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
Yes. She Painted.

Young Gotrox (admiring picture IN
parlor)-Does your sister paint Mar
gle? Little Margie-Yes. sir; hut shes
finished now, and as soon as she put:
n little powder on she'll be right down
Chicago News.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
ctudv Of Man.

The only school for the study OF
human nature Is the world. The only
text books are the works of men Ike
Shakespeare, Hugo, Cervantes, Stern(
and other students who learned IL
that school. But the effectual stud!
Of human nature demands from the
student vast fund Of love and sym
pathy. You will never get ADMITTED
into the heart of a fellow creature un
less YOU go as q friend.-Robert Blatch
ford In Clarion.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
cauatio Criticism.

Sculptor Ito his fricnd)-Well. what
do you think of my bust? Fine piect
OF marble, isn't 1T Friend-Magnin'
cent. What a pity TO have made a
bust OF II. 1t would have made love
ly mantelpiece.-Bon Vivant
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
Ys. 2,ssdier Term.

Engllshman-In England we stand
for parliament, but in America you
run" for congress. Americah-ih nat .
because you are slower than we are
New York Press.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
Finance.

The agreeable visitor, says Judge.
smiled upon the son of the house ana
said:
willie, II you recite that poem your
mother taught You III give you a
penny"
Not likelyl l can get nickel any
where for not reciting IT," Willie re-
piled
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
Ola Ma On.

The Doctor-You understand. don't
Won. that this Is only to be used Ell
ternallye The Patients Wife-sure,
sir. I allus makes him get oft o bed
10 drink it-Harper's Weekly.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
All the DiHeronce.

Society dropped the De Lacys be
cause they had skeleton in theh
closet. | uELristIadf'
"No-becausc they didn't keep J.
t,erc."- ."-Cievelanl LclGc.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
Looked Suspicious.

"somehow I'm leary of Tompkins.'
"Why soY'
Hes SO polite"
whats that got to do with itr
"Pm always afraid he's strlngihs
me"-Milwaukce Sentinel.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23

Hubby-W'g didn't you come to the
door aud let me In? Wife, couldn't
George. Our ucighbor was talking tC
somebody. and WAS at the phone
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
r.e. "a E.oa With Work.

.Darling, II you refuse me, don''
know what am to do"
"well. I'm not to blame for that; you
should have learned . trade.-faeA
&eUp.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
Pretty Bad.

Wife Aren't you going to smoke
those cigars | gave you? Husband
No: I'm LscpiLS them till Tommy be-
dns 10 want TO smoke. They'll settle
,t,-Illustrated Bits.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
He Knew.

Lady Customer wish to tell you
how these shoes Of mine are to be
made. Shoemaker-Oh. | know that
well enough large inside and small
outside. -Meggendorfer Batter.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
Demonstration.

Grace-And did you ever propose 10
a girl IN canoef
Fred-Yes. and I'll never DO 1t again
The girl jumped at my proposal ana
upset the Harper's Weekly.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23

Always speak a good word for the
dead and pow and then one for tile
living when you have time.-Missourl
Eharpsho0tcr.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
Authoritative.

80 you are going 10 leave your stu
io;"
Leave? No. Who told you so!
Your lsn..,orl." - Philadelphia In
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
Shenandoh HeraId
Advertising Rates

Advertisements will be insert
ed at one dollar per square OF
ten lines or less, for the first in
sertlon, and 81 cents for each
subsequent insertion.
- Quarterly or yearly adSer.
tissments by contract.
~ Unless the number OF inses'
tions Is marked upon the ma; u.
script, advertisements will be pub.
lished until forbidden and chsrge
CIV
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23

Have caro- or vhDn yp1 talk TO
whom aud of what G1d where.-li"f-
0ce.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23

Sell conquest is the greatest victory.
Plato.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23

In Ptolemy's time any one VINO
killed a cat was put TO death.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
Sour
Stomach

No appetite, loss OF strength, nervous
ness, headache. constipation. bad breath.
general debility. sour tsings. and catarrh
OF the stomach are all due 10 indigestion.
Kodol relieves ind gestion. This new diScov-
ery represents the natural juices OF diges-
tier as they exis, in healthy stomach.
combined with the greatest known tonic
and reconstructive properties. kodol Tor
dyspepsia docs not only relieve Indigestion
and dyspepsia. but this famous remedy
helps all stomach troubles by cleansing,
purifying, sweetenlng and strengthening
the mucous membranes lining the stomach.
Mr. s. S. BAH q Rzvensvood. W. Va, ssys:-
wa. troubled With sour stomach for twenty years.
Kodoi cured me ssd We ere nov using It 10 mih
fcr baby"
Eodcl Disests What You Eat
Bottle, only. Relieves INDIGESTION. sour stomach
bechins OF cas-. etc.
Prepared BY E. o. Dewitt co., CHICAGO
Walton n S-noos.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1907-08-23
For Sale {!

A No. / Upright Piano. Barnett
Clinedinst says the best toned instru.
ment he sold in town. Also q frst
quality galvanized steel oil tank sell
measuring, cabinet framed, 63 gallons
capacity, no evaporation no tunnels,
no waste, strictly first class in every
particular only used once, manufac-
tured by 8. T.. Bowser Fort Wayne,
Ind.
I will sell a large No. incubator
and Hooverer never was used, manu-
factured by the J. w. Miller Co.,
Freeport, H., also some cider kegs
aud other things. -
w. G. BARRON
May 1T