Alaska sentinel., 1907-05-09
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How many children have your Two living and one writing jokes for , a daily paper."-Cleyeland Leader.
 "Is Maude taking a day of to cele- brate her birthday" No; she's talk ing a year off."-Boston Transcript.
 You surely don't meet them social- ly." "Oh. no; only to have good time, you know."-Los Angeles News
 Redd-I see they have a new dance, called the automobile dance. Greene Is 1t a akdown?-Yonkers States man.
 That handsome Jack Savage kissed me last night" "I thought he would. He told me he felt awfully sorry for you. ."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
 "What are you taking for your cold?" "Nothing." "Nothing?" But my dear fellow" Nothing. say. not even advice. Fine day, isn't lt?"-Cleveland Leader.
 Upson-Do you get that rundown feeling" every spring? Downs-Every spring! Why, I've been hit by an auto once a week for the last two months Detroit Free Press.
 Neighbor-Herr Huber, come home immediately. Your wife has suffocat- ed herself with gas. Huber-Heavens There'll be nice gas bill to pay Wiener Salonwitzblatt.
 Did you say your new doctors name was Steed?" "Yes; Doctor Steed." My! I'd be afraid to engage him; sounds as If he were great charger" Philadelphia Ledger.
 Mir. Jawback (savagely)-I wish you were somewhere I'd never be able to see you again. Mrs. Jawback (sweet- ly)-Well, at any rate, it's nice of you to wish me In heaven.-Cleyeland Lead CT.
 She-Dld you ever see the Homer , twins? He-Yes. She-Don't you think the boy Is the picture of his father7 He-Yes-and I also think the girl Is the photograph of her mother.-Chi- cago News
 Nervous Porter Gin single breath, to hotel doorkeeper)-I s'pose yer don't appen ter know nobody wot ain't stop pin ere wot ain't sent for no one not to move no luggage nor nothink, do yer?-Sketch.
 First Milllonaire-Hard lines these days. Second Mlllionaire-Yes; our relatives are waiting for us to die to get our money, and the rest of the world doesn't want to wait that long, New York Sun.
 Jack-Some of the greatest bachelors of the age tell us that marriage is a flat failure. Eva (evasively)-Well- er-all married couples don't have to live in flats. Some can live in cot ages.-Illustrated Bits.
 Hubby-My pet, you will pardon me, but aren't these griddle cakes little burnt? wifey (almost in tears)-O, Toml And I tried to make them so pretty for you with that pyrograph set you gave me.-Boston Transcript
 Legal Repartee.-Lawyer-1 say, doctor, why are you always running us lawyers down! Doctor (dyly)- We'll. your profession doesn't make an- gels of men, does It? Lawyer-Why, no; you certainly have the advantage O, us there, doctor.
 The Just Judge.-"Judge," said Mrs. Staryen to the magistrate who had re- gently come to board with her, I'm particularly anxious to have you try this chicken soup" "I have tried it." replied the magistrate, "and my decis- ion Is that the chicken has proved an alibi."
 "What, fishing on the Sabba.hT ex- claimed the clergyman. reproyingly. Don't you know that little boys who fish on the Sabbath go to the bad place" Huh, guess dat's right 1" replied the bad boy, disgustedly. I couldn't a struck no worse place dan dis"-Philadelphia Press. There Is no sport In cumbersome machine" he bantered. Give me the blooded horse. Why, with horse can take the fence every time" The motorist laughed. Take the fence, eh Why, that Is nothing. With an automo- bile you can take the fence, the gate, the tree, the pump, and the barn all in two or three seconds. ."-Chicago Daily