Evening star., 1907-08-03
LADIES IN THE GAME

eff you want to do something that'n
make you need tablets" said the drawn
looking man at the summer resort, "all
you've got to do Is to sit into poker game
with a paasel OF women. They'll fix you
out. They'll send you after the soothing
dope.
II was yanked captured, ferded and cor
rallied into game with six women people
last night. Only one other he-person In the
sit-in besides myself. and the last saw
of him. after the breakup Of the game, he
was headed for the crick licketty-split and
1 must remember to tell 'em to go down
there with the graphing irons pretty soon
THE woman that policed the game was
ticket for the BOBBY hatch. She was q
dowaSer with parrot proboscis and q
pair of murderous eyes, and II she could
cash on every glare she shot around at
folks who were one-ninth of a second late
| in anteing In the Jackpots she'd be making
more money at an evenings poker sit-in
than they do over at the bureau of engrav-
ing and printing in an equal space of time
bother about that.
We'll. 1 am in,' shed start it out, toss
ing a red chip right in front Of her when
the jackpot came around, and holding a
Jeweled foref1nger on top Of 1t as II 1t was
small deep-sea turtle that might feel like
moving away on her. 'Hah. another one
up, and then she'd dart her flashing and
1aring wicks around on the people who,
engaged in little side lines of talk. had mo-
mentarfly or secondariy overlooked the
chip-up thing for the jackpot. Only two
up-lot people shy around here, she
go on. and then shed begin to squirm and
wriggle around in her seat as II she meant
to grab a-hold Of the edge Of the table and
overturn tt-cards chips and ADJUST to
get hunk with the still shy ones. Every
body come up, It's a pot she'd go right
ahead. matter ff all hands around the
board were mingling up in some little
amusing story or jest that interested them
all. -Four up. and four are shy. Who's
shy? Are you. Mrs. Holdout2 Huh? Not7
You put in, you say? Huh! Very curious.
Indeed! l didn't see you come in I
thought you were talking with somebody
And you are so very forgetful. my dear!
Well. five up now. Who are the others?
Wait. dealer. Don't deal until everybody s
up. Who's shy? Seven in now. One still
shy. Who's the shy one? You. Mr.. Lem
melone? All. I thought so! Isn't 1t really
curious. now. that men-folks, thatve been
playing poker all their lives, should be so
forgetful about chipping into jackpots? 1
thought men did everything just right, no?
Very we'll. dealer. they are all in now and
by that time all the fun Of the game would
be sort of frost-bitten and CONCEALED. and
frequently two or three of us would stick
our money into the center a couple of times
over In order to muffie that fncessant clack
and clatter of the woman who polfced the
game. Four or five hours Of that one alone
would be enough to drive a man with the
constitution Of lumberjack to the spiked
cactus. but there were other kinds Of la
dies In the game that made me require
medicine when II was all over
The gloaty woman was one Of them.
The woman who gets out in front of the
game at the first tinkle of the bell and,
staying there for quite a bit. because she
gets hold of the kind Of papers that can't
be beat with coal-maul. develops that
triumphant feeling She's there with the
goods every time. or nearly every time.
hand at all, she just reaches over to the
center, like somebody hooking South
American spiders with a net and rakes in
the junk, all the time delivering herself Of
little rasping cackles and short craggy
raucous laughs that. after an hour. or so
of it. make you wish that she was being
held for ransom by Raisull. the brlgand.
or that you could, after making a little
speech of felicitation. present her with a
silver loving ak. She just gloats and
gloats and gloats. and when she's got Jacks
up on mines to the other top hand. which is
tens up on eights, she Is there with a bum
die of victorious chirps that make the man
in the game wish that he'd enlisted for
some regiment bound for the Philippines
about two days ago, and gone there.
Then there's another kind Of woman
there was one in the game last nlght-who
is there with only an occasional break-ft-
off in you. but when she does connect with
been hit on the left side Of the wishbone by
a steamboat under forced draught. Sh IS
the one who, you having three aces patsky
all the time, draws card, and begins to
bet on her One-card draw as II she had all
the paper works on earth wrapped up in an
air-tfght combination that can't be beat by
Attorney General or Supreme Court. or even
the plain simple word of Teddy. Naturally
enough, being used to the ma e speciss of
poker. when you see her traipseing away
out in front that way with the bet thing,
you have q little heart-to-heart conversa-
ton with your sub-consciousness. and you
remark unto yourself, One-card draw for
her. hey? And she's betting 'em like a
man-o'-wars man just back from the China
station? Uh-huh. Well. she's got the mer-
chandlse, and me for the dump, and away
go your three aces into the Stag heap. and
then she slaps her busted flush straight
face-up on the table. and tosses her dear
little head back, oh. so merrtly. and laughs.
and laughs, and laughs oh. such silvery
laughs; and she calls you an old 'fratd-cat,
and whispers to her neighbor that you have
about as much nerve as a half-a.ive cat
fish, and then all the other five women at
the table look at you out Of the corners of
their eyes as if they considered you as
somebody about nineteen and quarter
pounds lighter than sheet of fly paper
and still the silvery assonance OF the
laughter of the lady who's shown you her
no-hand after having slugged you peas out.
OBJ. just peal upon peal. and you feel like
five cents worth of platinum on hay
scales, and oh. It's Just the cutest thing you
ever saw in all your born days; yes, ye-eh,
all of it.
Then there's the woman In the poker
game-she was in our little game last night
that never, bets or opens anything in her
turn. but who after everybody's dropped
out except her. and it's gone way beyond
her, and you're sitting back OF pair Of
queens that you don't want to have any
body get in with-she waits, I say, till
everybodys tossed their papes into the dis
rl nd hon ha l.
ready opened it-'Oh. l want to play-I open
it. and then the dealer has got to dig the
discard off the pack, and she says she
guesses she'll just dub along with the cards
she's got. and you draw three and don't
help and she's got one of those office-hours
straights ON you-one to five-and you stink
out of the situation like timber wolf with
a left hind leg that's been caught In trap,
for you thought. like you had right to
think. that 1t was all over when 1t passed
by her a couple of times, and there you've
been hooked by her like as If you'd been
swatted by somebody rising out OF the
grave And then she looks at you real cum
MIN out of her moss-agatey lamps, and she
saws oh, l knew l had them all the time,
you old silly, only I wanted to see what the
rest were going to do and then, If you be-
gin to try to splutter about people betting
or dropping out in their turn, all of the
women join hands against you and make a
= n,,t Of Won and VOll're a tramp at