The independent., 1907-03-14
Mr. Dooley on Woman Suffrage
Rv DIJNNE
BY F. P. DUNNE


turn in tn booth. They're all occupied
be writin' freemn, calm in sthrangled
voices FIR somewan to light tn candle
so they'll be sure they ain't votin' tn
PROHIBITION ticket. TIL calico sheets
over tn front iv tn booths wave an
ARE pushed out like tn curtains iv
O Pullman car whin a fat man is
dhressin' inside while tn thrain is go
in round a curve. In time freeman
bursts through with perspyration poor
in down his nose, hurls his suffrage at
tn Judge an staggers out. | plunge in,
sharpen an inch iv lead pencil be rend-
in it with me teeth, mutilate me ballot
at tn top iv tn dimmycratic column,
an run FIR me life.
"Cud a lady do that, I ask ye? No,
sir, 'tis no job FIR tn fair. It's mems
wurruk Molly Donahue wants vote,
but though she cud bound Kamachat-
ka as aisily as ye cud this precint, she
amt qualified fr it. It's meant FIR
gr-reat sturdy American pathrites like
Mulkowsky tn Pollacky down tn
sthreet. He don't know yet that he
amt votin' FIR tn King iv Poland. He
thinks he's still over there pretindin'
to be a horse instead iv free Ameri-
can givin' an imitation iv steam
dhredge,
"On tn first Choosday afther tn first
Monday in November an April man
goes around to his house, wakes him
up, leads him down tn sthreet. an
votes him tn way yed wather
horse. He don't mind inhalin' tn air
iv liberty in a livery stable. But If
Molly Donahue Wint to vote in
livery stable, tn first thing she'd do
wud be to get broom, sweep up
fure, open tn windows, disinfect tn
booths take tn harness firm tn walls,
an hang up a pitcher iv Niagary be
moonlight, chase out tn watchers an
polls. remove tn seegars, make tn
judges get shave an p'raps .invaly-
date tn iliction. It's no job f'r her,
an / told her so.
"'We demand a VOTE says she "An
right says l. take mine. It's old, but
it's trustworthy an durable. It may
look little tn worse fr wear firm
bein' hurled again Republican ma
jority in this country FIR forty years,
but it's all right. Take my vote an
use it as we please says I, an I'll
get an hour or two exthry sleep iliction
day mornins says I. I've voted so
often I'm tired iv it anyhow says
/. But says /, why shud annywan so
young an beautiful as we want to do
anything so foolish as to voter says
I. Amt we intelligent enough?' says
She Ye're too INTELLIGENT says l. But
intelligence don't give We vote
"'What does, thin says she. Well
says I, enough iv ye at wan time
wantin' it enoueh. How many ladies
ar-re there in ye're Woman's Rights
Club?' Twinty,' says she. Make it
three hundred says l. an ye'l be on
ye'er way. Ye'er mother doesn't want
it, does she? No, nor ye'er sister
Katie? No, nor ye'er cousin, nor ye'er
aunt? All that illiction day means to
thin is tn old man goin' off in tn
mornin' with light step an fire in
his eye, an comm home too late at
night with a dent in his hat, news
boys hollerin' exthries with tn news
that fifty-f four votes had been cast in
tn third precinct in tn sivinth ward
at 8 O'Clock. an Packy an Alovsius
stealin' bar'ls firm tn .groceryman fr
tn bone-fire, IF they iyer join ye an
make up their minds to vote, they'll
vote. Ye bet they will
Eye see, twas this way votin come
about. In tn beginnin' on'y tn king
had vote. an Everybody else was a
or an Indyan. TIL king
clapped his crown on his head an
wint down to tn polls, marked a
cross at tn head " tn column where
his name was, an wint out to cheer
tn returns. Thin tn Jocks got
sthrong, an says they: "Votin' seems
a healthy exercise an w'd like to thry
IT, Give us tn franchise or we'll do
things to ye." An they got It. Thin
Il wint down through tn earls an tn
narkises an tn rest iv tn Dooley
family, till finlly all that was left "
Il was flung to tn ign'rant masses like
because they made lot iv
noise an threatened to set fire to tn
barns
"'An' there We ar-re. Yen niver get
Il be askin' m polls fr IL. No wan
yer got his rights firm n pollsman. an
De tn same token. there ar-re no rights
worth havin' that polisman can keep
~ fr'm Gettin'. The ladies' iv London
ir-re followin' tho right coorse. on'y
here ain't enough Nv thin. n there |
we're forty thousand Nv thin ARMED
with hat pins an prepared 10 plungc
III same into tn St0machs iv tn ini- |