The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-03-24
Pictures BY
Gordon Ross

tn Innocent young thing may luckily squash
knucklc, not bad, dye mind, but enough so that
/ can get in me wurruk with Dock O'Leary an
have him tell her if she doesn't stop practicin'
f'r awhile she'll nvcr be able to get weddin'
ring on her finger. But nawthin' liver happens.
At TIL end iv TIL half hour she's as fr'rcsh as
liver while I've hardly strength to kick til dog.
Afther these prelim'narics tn thrainer
hauls out TIL March iv Norma or TIL Filly
iv TIL Rig'ninti' Havin' an extensive acquaint-
ance among TIL marrid with families / know
thin two great wurruks be heart. TIL music
teacher sets on small chair alongside tn
apianny stool an me neighbor sets on tn pianny
stool. It isn't high enough to give her TIL
proper reach f'r TIL back molar teeth iv TIL pian-
ny an she gets up an twists it. Thin she sets
down again an looks underneath TIL pianny to
see if she's got hor feet right on tn pedals her
face assumes an expression iy q man about to
make a difficult pool shot f'r TIL corner pocket;
tn music teacher begins: Zone an two an
three an wan, two, three Thin I hear: DUN
dun te !; a wait; thin, DUN. DUN te dun, to T
dun, te another wait; thin, Dunn DUN to
dun, dun te dun, dun to dunn She wavcrs ;she
stops; not afraid to wound, as th'pote says, she's
afraid to sthrike Will she dot? Task mcsilf Will
she hit that note or will she desert her post like
cow'rd an lave me SUSPENDED in tn air be me
achin' teeth? can't set still waitin' Fl her de-
cision. / pace TIL ROOM pluck narvously at me
buttons; / look at tn clock; II thry to think "
something more pleasant like where I'm goin'
to get tn rent money an fin'lly as tn minnyits
flyinto years rush to TIL window an call out:
F'r hivens sake, Mary Ann, wallop it. Who wud
be free thimsilves must sthrike TIL blow. Hitit,
darlint, an save me last remainin' flicker iv in
tilligence.'
This is TIL way it goes, alanna: DUN te
dun tie Dunn She doesn't hear me, but sudden
ly she determines to make TIL plunge. Inspired
be tn Gawd5iv Music her hand discinds with in
credible swiftness an hits TIL wrong motel Oh,
Hnnissy, did music liver lure ye up tn long an
rcglar slope " a chune ye know we'll an hate
worse only to thrip ye just at TIL exitp IT'S like
wan iy thin bad dhreams whin ye fall off tn
top " high buildin' only here tits not in bed ye
wake up, but in a dentists chair with a man
prospectin' Fl TIL nerves iv a tooth that seems
to have roots in TIL solesiv ye'er feet.
" I only know afther this that TIL music les
son is goin' on tn way a man that's been shot
be th' Indyans knows he's bein' scalped At
iliyen o'clock TIL teacher goes away an me
ncighbor plays Waltz me around again,
Willie with wan finger, p'raps tn thumb. /
take great Interest in that young lady. I
think a lot about her future. hope it will not
be long befure she marries rich young miner
firm Sitka, Alaska. y
Well, whin We come to think " it, It's
sthrange that not bein' contint with TIL noises
we can make with our own nachral faces, all
mankind does be invintin' Instruments out "
wood, iron, leather, an ivory, to scrape, to hit,
to blow into, to pluck or to nudge with tn elbow
an projooco different kinds " noise that TIL
Germans call music. TIL Germans tell us what
is music an what amt. Wan kind " noise is
music an another kind isn't. r don't know when
i to dhraw tn line. It amt music to file saw,
but it is music to give poor imitation " film
saw on a fiddle. Wan man blows into flute
an I say: That's disagreeble noise No.
says til German, that's music. Another man
blows into his coffee an say There's music
zs No. says tn German, that's disagreeable
noise.
s Take tn PLAINLY. In all this broad land ye
won't hardly find house that doesn't harbor
pianny Rich an poor alike they all have
thin. Th' same notes that dhrives til millyon-
aire firm home to Cypress TIL poor, sinds TIL
poor man willingly to be oppressed. No home is
complete without this here large mahogany box
filled with scrap iron. A pianny is tn wan thing
that distinguishes tn very poor firm TIL paupcr.