The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-25

And between the primal primate and the
Man she called human,
There seemed to be yawning, SO kind
Nature made a Woman.
the inpudence to think
Because of her position, Woman forms
But whatever We're Ewes parents, and
it seems she must have had 'em.
She was capable of making quite a Mon
key out of Adam.
IN. Y. Times.
Food Hypnotism.
The quick-lunch restaurant re-
sounded with a rapid succession of
shrill calls down the speaking tube for
Fried fish,
A clerk. studying the menu, was
about to give his order to the waitress,
when he hesitated and inquired:
us the fried fish extra fine today?
Everybody seems to be taking it,
Them calls for fried fish is fakes"
push the fish today The boss calcu-
lated that, being Lent, and a Friday at
that, we'd have a rush on for fish. But
our trade don't run much to the re-
ligious. it seems. I haven't sold but
two fried fish all day. So now we are
pushing it,
"How's that?"
''Well, you see, the boss can't have
ali that fish left on his hands, and we
know how to get rid of it, all right.
We wake up the customers to the fish
by shouting out fake orders for it. I've
rung in a fried fish every other order
for the last ten minutes"
She sopped up a little pool of water
on the polished mahogany table, and
with a sweep of her hand cleared it of
plates and glasses.
Fried fish, one" shouted a wait
ress.
''Fried fish, one" came another call.
Fried fish, one," came a third.
You see," the girl resumed. 'they
are taking notice. Them orders are
the real thing. When the one is
send 1T up. We can make people eat
here what we want to get rid of most"
She interrupted her conversation with
loud Fried fish,
"It amt that there's anything wrong
with the fish that we're pushing it,"
she resumed. "But fish is one of them
things it's hard to use over again. SO
it must GO. After Il o'clock, when
the boss saw the fish was hangin' fire,
he gave us his official tip to push it,
and that means rebate of 2 cents on
every order of fish we ring in. Why
don't you try it? Nobody's kicked
about it.
"Fried fish. one."-Los Angeles
Times.
Key to Slang.
Philologists like to study slang.
They can account for many slang
phrases that seem idiotic. Thus:
ITO give the cold SHOULDN'T was
the custom in medieval France, when
a guest had outstayed his welcome, to
serve him a cold shoulder of mutton
instead of the usual hot meat. Flush
ing the man always took this hint.
"'Deadheads''-In Pompeii compli-
mentary ticket to an entertainment
took the form of a small ivory skull.
Hes a brick"-A visitor to Sparta
found the capital without walls, and
,eI- - 10 l. I, y 4 d0 ~
case of invasion. in his wallless town.
Sparta has $4,000 soldiers" the king
answered. "and each man is brick
Catching a Tartar"-During the
vate soldier shouted: Captain, have
caught Tartar" We'll, bring him
in the captain rejoined. He won't
let me- the soldier called despairing-
ly. as his prisoner dragged him into
23"-The origin of this
phrase is lost in the blackness of re-
mote antiquity.
ITO eat humble pie''-In the middle
age. after deer had been slaughtered,
the master of the house and his fam
lily ate the choice cuts. while the feet.
neck and head were made into a pie.
This humble pie was served to the
servants and retainers.-
Gen. Miles Thoroughness.
Some years ago Gen. Miles started
to drive from Red Lodge, Mont, to
Cody, Wyo,, to see his friend Buffalo
Bill. The road was rough, and the
reckless driving of the man holding
the lines made it seem rougher, but
the Indian fighter compressed his lips
and chung to the seat without COM
plant. When near Cody. the general
su ddenly prodded the driver in the
back with his walking stick and said
curtly: Driver turn around"
''what?" exclaimed the astonished
driver.
do as I tell you" commanded
Miles. So the man turned the horses
about and started back to Red Lodge.
Nov turn here" ordered Miles,
after they had driven a few yards.
that his distinguished pas
driver turned about once more and
started for Cody.
"There!" exclaimed Miles, in tone
of satisfaction, as the side wheels
struck a stone and he bounded into
the air "You hit it! Now, driver,
you can go back to Red Lodge and tell
them that you drove seventy-f1ve miles
and never missed rock. You've hit
them. every one. "-Lippincott's.
Had No LEGAL Reputation.
Archibald M. Howe of Cambridge,
who bears the distinction of having
been once nominated for vice president
of the United States in addressing
ttAC $780,
the great value of a local reputation
To emphasize the point he told story
about his friend Judge lockwood
Hoar of Concord. Judge Hoar was
attorney general of the United States
at the time, and one day, down IN
Washington. a friend rushed up to him
and said. Judge, did you hear the
speech of Thompson of Indiana today?
1t was his maiden speech, and 1t was
turning to his friend, Judge Hoar
replied: Thompson? Thompson?
Thompson? No. did not hear 1t. He
has only a national reputation He
has no local reputation. -Boston |