davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-03-01
Bills on $50 Subjects.


On the last day for the Introduction
OF bills in the usual order the total
reached 266 i'll the senate. with eighteen
Joint resolutions and memorials, and in
the house $50 bills, With nineteen Joint
resolutions and memorials
Hereafter the Introduction of any bin
must be through committee or by
unanimous consent. and they will be
few and far between MANY of the
bllls are duplicates in the two houses.
but the total of subjects upon which
an attempt is made at legislation Will
reach $50 and there are more bills i'm
process of incubation.
Whether a legislature can legislate
goodness into the people is the ques-
1ion involved in the bin preventing
Sunday theaters and baseball. 1t has
no" passed both houses and the gov
ernor Will be given Il chance to pass
Judgment upon it.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-03-01
SATURDAYS PROCEEDINGS.
y 4 ~,
BILL FOR lNTERsEcTING
TRACKS is PASSED,

Pierre, S. D., Feb. 23-The house
this morning passed without amend
ment the senate bill requiring rail-
roads to form connecting tracks at
intersecting points and establish
Joint through rates in such cases
There We're only four votes, Lee.
Brown, Peterson of Lawrence and
Jones against the measure.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-03-01
IT LOOKED LIKE: 4
'HOkK KONK" BILL
And So Farmer Legislators
Killed the Good Roads
Measure.
DIVORCE REPORTS MADE
Majority and Minority to Be Heard
Satu-day-Wolf Bounty Also
Comes Up for Another
Round.
DIVORCE REPORTS MADE

Pierre. S. D.. Feb. 25.-The farmer
members smelled gasoline in Represent
ntive Parmley's good roads bill and
killed it on suspicion that it was in
tended to propagate automobiling.
The honest caucus law was re-
pealed to make way for its successor,
the primary. 1t had only one friend in
the house. Browne, of Brown, who was
the godfather of the 2-year-od.
The divorce bill came out of commit
tee. but oh, so changed by long CON
finement. Goodner, Dillon and Dudley
arose In the senate to questions of per
sonal privilege and stated that they had
been maligned by Dick Richard. OF
Huron, who impugned their motives in
holding the bin up so long. The bill
Will come up for adoption of majority
and minority reports Saturday. 1t is
aimed at the divorce industry and is
loaded for bear. All hearings must be
public.
Refill Booze" Prescriptions.
Prohibitory towns lost point when
Cables senate bill prohibiting pharma-
clsts from refilling a prescription call
ing for the use of intoxicating liquor
went to the dump heap, but he scored a
point by The passage ei a bill making
blind pigs common nuisances.
The wolf bounty bill comes up on a
special order Saturday, but will prob
ably last the balance of the session.
The house has passed a bill requir-
ing that stock food preparations be
labeled to show the name of the manu-
facturer and the formula under which
he operates. This measure is expected
to bring to light much of the ashes of
past fires and not "A little other rubbish
that has been selling at q high price
The farmer members are all i'm favor
of this bill.
Small immigration Bureau
The legislature is not taking kindly
to the establishment of a bureau of
immigration as an independent de-
partment with its own officer, and the
latest move to get around it is TO make
the secretary of the state board of
agriculture ex-officio commissioner of
immigration With ,ary of 81 800 q
year and then make a small appro-
priation for the purpose of exploiting
the resources of the state The real
estate men asked for a different deal
ing of the cards. They wanted a COM
missioner and a bureau supported by an
appropriation of $4,000 for the en-
suing biennial period, but they will not
get it unless sentiment changes. Sen
ator Cook. one of the leaders of the
senate. is the author of the new meas
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-06-30
MIR. DOOLEY ON THE CANDIDATES

%
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-06-30
TAFT, OFFICIAL JoLLIER OF THE CABINET.

his clothes an dash off somewheres
on an errand iv concilyation. Wan day
he's down in tn F'lippeens telrin our
little brothers that in TIL coOrse iV
cinchries, if they'll ony have patience
to wait, they'll get a chance to cheer
tn movin' pitchers in front " tn
newspaper offices ivry foorth No
vimber. Another day / hear iv him
in Cuba embracin' thin kindly people
an absthractin' their dangerous liber-
ties like a good-natured, frind takin' a
loaded revolver away firm drunken
man. Firm there he skips to Porther
Richy, gathers around him all tn
bould citizens that Gin'ral Miles set
free with wan sthroke " his mus
tache, an says: Fellow Americans,
what ar-re We kickin' about? Ye want
a vote. but haven't We got all that a
vote wud give you? Aren't tn taxes
COLLECTED firm We. doesn't tn polisman
arrest We, an tn Justice fine We. tn
same as if ye lived i'm Ohio? An 10 Sc
cure all these blessings ye don't have to
turn over In yeer, sleep OH tn first
Ghoosdah afther tn sicond Mondah in
NOVEMBER. Oh that / We're a Porther
Rickysn an didn't need votes. But It's
me evilsf that do an as ye have
none, an won't. 1 must be off to Ohio,
where they have nawthin' but, an
away he goes"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-06-30
FAIRBANKS, TOO DIvvLE-MAY- CARE.

Fairbanks is too divvle-may-car
There's a Puritan streak in our blood,
hide it though we will. Undher tn po-
lite veneer. as Hogan says, iv drunk
enness we ARE still a conservative
people an it's question whether we
can thrust a man that can be so car
ried away by tn tumult iv tn time as
to exclaim in a gust iv passion L con-
slider it the most fortunate, if ye will
frgive tn Whence iv tn expression,
and I concede that ivry man
has a right to differ with
me on this or anny-6ther questions. an
l will gladlEsshake finland iv amy
man in this-Iast zujenee who honest
ly disagrees-s with<-Smes that --in this,
country iv ours, blessed, as Some say
an some say not be universal suf-
ferage. it shud happen that tn sacred
festival iv our freedom, tn Foorth Nv
July, though those that believe in st.
Pathrick's day are entitled to their
opinyon, an a betther lot iv men
niyer lived. an have a gr-reat NANNY
English frinds, an Germans too, FIR
that matther, an SwedeS. that tn
Foorth iv July which we cillybrate so
joyously, though IL is deplorable that
So nanny little boys shud blow off
their thumbs thryin' to brighten their
sisters with cannon crackers. AM l
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-06-30

BY o. HENRY.
Copyright. 1907, by S. S. Mcclure Coz

US like we was miilionaires instead Of
almost busted philanthrOpists.
The students kept the town lively
and prosperous. Some stranger came to
town and started a faro bank over the
Red Front livery stable, and began To
amass money in quantities. Me and
Andy strolled up one night and piked
dollar or two for sociability. There
were about fifty of our students there
drinking rum punches and showing
high stacks of blues and reds about the
table as the dealer turned the cards up
why, dang it, Andy says l,
these ee-school-hunting, gander-
headed. silk-socked little sons of sap
suckers have got more money than you
and me ever had. Look at the rolls
they're pulling out of their pistol peck
etsl'
Yes says Andy "a good many OF
them are sons of wealthy miners and
stockmen. It's very sad to see 'em
wasting their opportunities this way
AT Christmas all the students went
home TO spend the holidays. We had A
farewell blowout at the university, and
Andy lectured on Modern Music and
Prehistoric Literature of the Archi-
pelagoes.' Each one of the faculty an
swered to tOasts. and compared me
and Andy to Rockefeller and the En-
peror Marcus Ambiguous. / pounded on
the table and yelled for Professor Nc
Corkle; but it seems he wasn't present
on the occasion. I wanted a look at
the man that Andy thought could earn
S10O a week in philanthropy that was
on the point of making an assignment.
The students all left on the night
train: and the town sounded as quiet
as the campus of a correspondence
school at midnight When 1 went to
the hotel I saw light in Andy's room,
and l opened the door and walked in.
There sat Andy and the faro dealer
at table dividing a twO-foot high
stack of currency in thousand-dollar
packages.
Correct says Andy 'Thirty-one
thousand apiece. Come in, jeff says
he. This is our share of the profits of
the first half of the scholastic term Of
the Worlds university. Incorporated
and philanthropated. Are you con-
WINGED now says Andy, that philan-
thropy when practiced in a business
way is an art that bIesses him who
gives as well as him who receives|
Great says /, feeling fine I'll
admit you are the doctor this time
well be leaving on the morning
train says Andy. You'd better get
your collars and cuffs and press clip
pings together
Great" says l. I'll be ready. But,
Andy says l, ] wish / could have met
that Professor James Darnley MCCOT-
kle before We went / had a curiosity
to know that man.
d" 'Thatll be easy, says Andy, turn
ing around to the faro dealer.
Jim, says Andy, shake hands
with Mr.. Peters,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-06-30

several Years before by mine owner.
After running up the house he finds he
only had $3.50 left to furnish it with,
so he invests that in whisky and jumps
off the roof on a spot where he now
reqdiescats in pieces.
AS soon as me and Andy saw that
building the same idea struck both of
us. We would fix it up with lights and
pen Wipers and professors. and put an
iron dog and statues of Hercules and
Father John on the lawn, and start one
of the finest free educational institu-
tiOns in the world right there.
so we talks it over 10 the prominent
citizens Of Floresville, who falls in fine
with the idea. They give a banquet in
the engine house to us, and we make
our bow for the first time as benefact-
ors to the cause of progress and en-
lightenrIent Andy makes an hour
and-a-half speech on the subject of ir-
rigatiOn in lower Egypt. and we have
moral tune on the monograph and
pineapple sherbet.
ANDY and me didn't lose any time
in philanthroppmg. We put every man
in town that could tell hammer from
a step ladder 10 work on the building,
dividing it up into class rooms and lee
ture halls. We wire to Frisco for a
carload of desks. footballs, arithmetics,
penholdsrs dictionaries, chairs for the
professors, states, skeletons, sponges
twenty-seven cravenetted gowns and
caps for the senior class and an open
order for all the truck that goes with
f1rst-class university. / took il on my
self TO put a campus and a curriculum
on the list, but the telegraph operator
must have got the words wrong being
an ignorant man. for when the goods
come we found a can of peas and a
curry comb among EN-
While the weekly paper was having
chalk-plate cuts of me and Andy we
wired an employment agency in Chi
mage to express US, {. o. b.. six profess
sOrs immediately-one English litera-
ture, one up-to-date dead languages
one chemistry, one political economy
Democrat preferred-One logic. and one
wise to painting, Italian and music
with union card. The Esperanto bank
guaranteed salaries which was to run
between $500 and sSOO.5O.
We'll. sir, we finally got in shape.
over the front door was carved the
words; The Worlds University; Pc
tiers & Tucker, Patrons and Proprie-
tors. And wher. September the first
got a cross mark on the calendar the
comeons begun to roll in. First the
faculty got off the tri-weekly express
FROM Tucson They was mostly young,
specialized and reI-headed, with senti-
ments divided between ambition end
food. Andy and me got 'em biIleted on
the Floresvillains and then laid for the
students.
'"They came in lunches We had adj
vertised the university in all the state
papers, and it did us good to see how
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-06-30
RECOVERING VALUABLES.
philadelphia Inquirer)

When, on leaving a theatre or lecture
hall, you discover that some valuable has
disappeared, do not lose your head imme-
diately There are. after all is said, many
more honest people in this world than
dishonest. and the chances are that. il
you go about it properly, you will recover
the article.
First of all. register your loss at the box
office or superintendent room. Give
your name and address plainly. being sure
that they are correctly taken down. and
if you wish to offer any reward for its
return. name the amount. Be sure to
leave money for the management to tele-
phone you if their search is rewarded. and
give your telephone number. Then ask
for some one. or. if this is not granted.
get permission yourself to search the part
of the house in which you were sitting
If. after a day. you have no word OF
the loss, advertise in at least one morn
ing and one evening paper, naming the
article explicitly. so as to avoid confusion.
If you wish. you may name the theatre
as the place to which il is to be returned.
Most places are kind and courteous in
such matters. and only too anxious to help
sou in your search. If they return the
valuable to you. do not forget that the
man who has acted as their agent is
worthy of thanks. at least. if you do not
wish to reward him in any more substan-
tial way
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-06-30

read in Chicago pa-aper
that this is so, an an excellent family
journal it is, too, that / have brought
to me bedside ivry mornin' with all the
other pa-apers. FIR where wud We be
without tn freedom iv tn press,
though they probably go too far in
criticism iv our public men, but what
cud be expected?> 1t is most fortunate,
think that tn Foorth iv July shud
invariably, as far as 1 have had the
opportunity to obsarve, happen ivry
year in tn month iv July, if L am
right.
"A wild yellow But L hope an be-
lieve Hinn8y, that if ilicted president
tn responsibilities iv his high office,
like tbs responsibilities Nv his high hat,
will rest as heavily on his head as they
have on Rosenfelt's. TIL janial hail
fellow, tn free-an-aisy hayTo iv tn
dairy rathskeller, thumpin' tn table
with stein iv butthermilk an sing
in, FIR it's always fair weather whin
good fellows get together will soon
be sobered be his mighty job. I'm
bound to have me doubts about a man
that comes into this saloon just as I'm
goin' to close up hangs his hat on a
gas jet an. asks tn stove FIR tn pleas
ure iv a two-step; but I feel thatiff
Oscar Fairbanks, is ilieted president
he'll settle down an save his money!
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-06-30

An thin there's me frind Taft.
Strongly ricomminded be tn captain
iv tn Cincinnaty Reds. he is said to be
good prisidintyal timber. He don't
look like timber at all to me. On tn
conthry. If We want man to fill tn
prisidintyal chair TO overfOwin', it's
Taft. I-can't think iv him runnin' FIR
the office. But if tn PRESIDENCY liver
dhrops into amy mans lap, twill be
Taft's. 1t cudden't miss. amt
against Taft because he's chubby. Only
very young men an very old men
should be lean. Whin a mans in tn
prime " life he shud be provisioned.
1t shows he's not maxim overdhrafts.
Me frind Taft has a large balance
That's why he's always so cheerful an
that's why he holds his prisint job.
What's that? oh, he's called sicrety iv
war. but he don't pay amy attintion to
that Not he. If war had a sicrety
like Taft. it wudden't dictate amy
thing to him but mash letters. But he
hasn't been to his office FIR I don't
know how long. His raie position in
tn cabinet is official jollyer. He's tn
Happy Hand Whiu there's a%ruction'
anywhere Taft starts out an cleans
it up.
TT must be a kind iv, a hard job,
though. He 1iver knows whin' tn
belll ring an he'll have TO rush rr
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-06-30
NOW 1T is PAPER YARNS.
German InVents Material That
Has Varied Uses.
~ York Commercial.l


According to report by Carl Bailey
Hurst, consul at Plauen, Saxony, it is
possible that before many years we
shall be wearing clothing made of pa
per, using paper rugs and carpets, en-
joying paper slippers and shoes, and
making sails of paper canvas The
manufacture of paper yarns" has pro-
crossed so far that many careful
housewives last year bought paper
towels under the impression that they
were getting bargains in linen. the
articles selling at wholesale for "A
cents a dozen, medium size. Enough
paper cloth can be bought for 81 TO
make three-piece suit.
The attention of the bureau of man.
ufactures having been directed to this
new branch of industry. it made in
quiries of the consuls in Saxony re-
sarding il, and MIR. Hurst has made an
interesting report on the subject He
states that "Xylolin." as the article is
Nned, was invented by Herr Emil
AaViez of Saxony, after many and
long continued experiments, and that
the processes are patented i'm all ci-
vilizedN countries. Moreover. the
yarns of paper fibre, consisting of 90
per cent paper and 5 per cent cotton
are made somewhat extensively in
England, Bohemia and Saxony. and
factories are to be established by the
inventor in the United States.
Xvloiin may be woven into any de-
sirable fabric. It is primarily a thread
OF yarn, and is employed exclusively in
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-06-30

weaving. The thread is not brittle,
and 1t does not have a hard surface,
and it neither shripks nor stretches to
any appreciate extent. Having certain
resilient qualities, it cannot readily be
crushed or dented like paper, and on it
moisture has practically no effect
Among the other many good qualities
claimed for it is that it is serviceable
substitute for cotton, jute, linen and
even silk. When bleached the yarn or
thread is of a snowy whiteness, and at
first glance cannot be distinguished
from cotton. 1t is said to combine the
good qualities of cotton and linen at
one-tenth the price of linen.
1t can be more readily dyed i'm deli
ate shades far outmatching the range
of colors to which cotton or silk are
susceptible. and it is asserted, vastly
more than those of linens The process
Of dyeing the thread or yarn is patent
ed. and appears to be of such perfec-
ton that no colors from the daintiest
nuances to the richest hues are affecte-
ed by strong light.
Rugs and carpets of this material.
woven like. ingram carpets, are being
imported into the United States. They
are said to be elastic 10 the tread. east
ly cleaned by beating and washing and
not retentive of dust. Moths do net at
tack them.
The paper yarn is much used for
making bagging instead of jute, or
used in combination with it, one thread
of iute with two of paper. 1t is used
for outing hats, canvas shoes and Slip
pers. towels, which are usually taken
for linen wall hangings, unholstering
for veranda furniture. as il is not af-
fee.ed by the weather. and for outing
suits II is said to be particularly suit
ed for underwear.
The processes used are said to be Sc
.cret. and no information is given re-
garding them. @
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-06-30

quick the country responded. Two
hundred and nineteen husky lads
aging along from IS up to chin whis-
kers answered the clarion call of free
education. They ripped open that town,
sponged the seams, turned it, lined it
with new mohair: and you couldn't
have told it from Harvard or GOldfieIds
at the March term of court
"They marched up and down the
streets waving flags with the Worlds
university colors-ultramarine and blue
and they certainly made a lively
place of Floresville. Andy made 'em a
speech from the balcony of the Sky
view hotel,-and the whole town was
out celebrating.
In about two weeks the professors
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-06-30

got the students disarmed and herded
into classes. | don't believe there's any
pleasure equal to being Il philanthropy
list. Me and Andy bought high silk
hats and pretended TO dodge the two
reporters ON the Floresyille Gazette.
The paper had a man to kodak US
whenever we appeared on the street,
and ran our pictures every week over
the column headed Educational
Notes Andy lectured twice a week
at the university; and afterward 1
would rise and tell a humorous story.
Once the Gazette printed my picture
with Abe Lincoln on one side and Mar
shall r. Wilde on the other
Andy was as interested in philan-
thropy as 1 was. We used to wake up
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-06-30

of nights and tell each other new
ideas for booming the university.
Andy says 1 to him one day,
| there's something we overlooked. The
boys ought to have dromedaries.'
What's that2 Andy asked.
why, something to sleep in, of
course says ]. All colleges have 'em."
oh, you mean pajamas,' says
Andy.
u do not says l. i mean drome-
daries.' But I never could make Andy
understand; so we never ordered 'em.
OF course, I meant them long bed
rooms in colleges where the scholars
sleep in a row.
We'll. sir the Worlds university
was a success. We had scholars from
five states and territories, and Flores
vile had boom. A new shooting gall
lery and a pawn shop and two more
saloons started: and the boysgot up
college yell that went this way;
Raw, raw. raw.
| Done, done, done,
Peters, Tucker,
| Lots of fun.
! BoW-Wow-wow
Haw-hee-haw.
World university,
Hip, hurrah,'
"The scholars was fine lot of young
men, and me and Andy was as proud
of 'em as if they belonged to our own
family
But one day about the last of DC
/ tober Andy comes to me and asks if
! have any idea how much money we
had in the bank. 1 guesses about six
teen thousand. Our balance says
Andy. is SS21.62'
What! says 1, with a kind of a
| yell. Do you mean to tell me that
them Internal little clod-hopping
| dough-headed. pup-faced, goose brain
| ed, gate-stealing, rabbit-eared sons of
horse thieves have soaked us for that
much?'
No less says Andy.
Then to Helvetia with philanthro-
py,' says /.
mot necessarily says Andy. Phil
anthropy' says he. when run on
good business basis is one of the best
CRAFTS going. I'll look into the matter
and see if it can't be Strengthened out
''The next week 1 am looking over
the payroll of our faculty when run
across a new name-Professor James
Darnley McCorkle. chair of mathemat-
les; salary 800 per week. I yells so
loud that Andy runs in quick
What's this?' says l. A professor
of mathematics at more than s., 900 a
year! How did this happen? Did ne
get in through the window and appoint
/ himself?'
g I wired to Frisco for him a week
ago says Andy. In ordering the fac
ulty we seem to have overlooked the
chair of mathematics
"A good thing we did, says l. We
can pay his salary two weeks, and then
our philanthropy will look like the
ninth hole on the Skibo golf links
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-06-30

Wait a while says Andy. and see
how things turn out. We have taken
I'D too noble a cause 10 draw out now.
Besides, the farther | gaze into the re-
tail philanthropy business the better il
looks to me. | never thought about in
vestigating it before. Come. to think
of it now goes on Andy, all the phil
anthropists I ever knew had plenty of
money. I ought Ia have looked into
that matter long ago. and located
which was the cause and which was
the effect
II had confidence in Andy's chilean
cry in financial affairs. SO I left the
whole thing in his hands. The univer-
sity was fiOurishng fine, and me and
Andy kept our silk hats shined up, and
F'loresville kept on heaping honors on
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-06-30
A CENTER SHOT.
n.ondon Tit-Ritsl

A good country mayor found himself at
a table in a large restaurant between two
young men who began TO make fun OF
him.
II see. young sirs." he said that YOU
are making fun of me. But l assure you
that | am neither stupid nor an ass
All, said one tof them, perhaps YOU
are between the two
Exactly" was the prompt reply; I'm
between the two"