Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1907-08-29

! ATcAisoN GLOBE SIGHTS.

False teeth are the only ones that can
be extracted without pain.
Ever notice how a man whose wife
Is away visiting is Watched"
You needn't take any pains TO give
the devil his due. he'll &c, it.
Every good farmer has three or four.
Jobs laid up for Il rainy day.
AT the summer resort every utnmer
Is the hottest one they ever had.
What are you mad about most. fire.
Quently? In our case. 1t is because we
are old.
The family skeleton usually comes
out of the closet to referee the family
quarrels.
How MANY times some men can
make fools of themselves without Gnd-
ing it out.
A good many people make promises
to lecturers and candidates that they
never keep.
The amateur gardner is usually an
adept at explaining Why his garden
Isn't better.
People talk about different tempera-
ments.' when they really mean differ
ent tempers.
1t is particularly easy to deceive a
woman when it comes to saying nice
things about her.
What has become of the old-fashioned
man who referred to the harness on his
horses as gears"
The world seems to accept he doc
trine that man should give his friend
u little the best OF it.
Occasionally there is a good man who
is also so stupid that he will not know
heaven when he sees it.
One reason fewer girls than boys
know how to swim is that girls rely
on omeone teaching them.
Hit John Barleycorn every time you
get a chance Even behaving his best.
he is meditating mischief.
If n man is sufficiently in love. he
imagines he thinks poetry. even though
he doesn't attempt to write IL.
We have noticed that when n wom-
an hears that another woman was
never In love. she says BAH
Some men are so mean they like to
take their wives advice so they can
tell them later how worthless 1t was.
The new %neighbors next door al
ways u out better than their fur
niture looks when 1t arrives on a wag-
1t is n remarkable crowd of children
who can play games for twenty min
utes without quarreling over who Is
lit"
You are no peach" we heard a
young man say to n girl at Forest
park. lately; there are no peaches this
year"
A farmer sitting in front of a store
said to n reporter today: w farmers
are very busy In the harvest field
now"
When an agent calls to collect, he
is not near as polite as he was when
he called to coax you into signing the
contract.
The Lancaster Literary society will
next Saturday night settle the question
Can a shiftless person help being
shiftless?"
When n widow says she will never
marry again, she usually follows the
statement with u proviso beginning
with unless"
There is at least the consolation to
the girls that 1t is n greater conpli-
ment to be called n peach this year
than 1t was last.
What has become OF the old-fashioned
man who described his anger by say.
ing he was mad enough to bite a tens
penny nail In two?"
How much useless talk we indulge
|. in. Keep track of yourself some day,
and note how much time you waste
In talking foolishness.
{. The pudding with the most plums
i, in 1t for a newspaper reporter is the
man who hates his kin and tells all
he knows about them.
udging by what happens afterward
. there must be a lot of bad luck omena
/, attending every wedding which are
not noticed at the time.
When a man kills himself for a
. woman he gets lots of sympathy, but
when a woman kills herself for q
man she is laughed at.
. FEARS may come ana years may go,
but the time will never arrive when a
mar will sit up and patch his wife's
clothes after she is asleep in bed.
The man who butts into a family row
has a large bump of good Judgment
; compared with the visiting ball playeI
VINO starts a 1ght with the umpire. }
The United States buys about 60 peA
cent. of the total diamond output Of
y South Africa, but there are still a GOOD
many girls h haven't been supplied
II a man borrows your lawn mower
ana fails to return it. don't becomt
discouraged. and let your grass be.
come ragged: borrow another lawn
mower and go to work.
Q 1t is going to be HARD when n woman
gets to heaven and find herself nyina
: aroun In a one-piece robe. with nd
cause for feeling in the back ~ he's
. SKIRT and her waist are together.
G An unfortunate child is one WHOSE
y mother has n short memory. She
; doesn't remember when she refuses
her children pleasures that only yes.
.erday she was a child. and begged fol
them herself.
A pretty and modest girl shocked thi.
reporter recently, and this reporter IL
a tough old man. The girl wore a see.
more waist, and. when she stopped Ia
: play with a cat. the sight was toler.
. able dreadful. Are these waists worn
because they are comfortable. ar he.
cause they shock the men?
. For seventeen years an Atchisou
. woman has concealed the fact that shl
: was related to the Bobgers. a particu,
larly worthless family. Then one OF
, the Atchison woman's family died, and
the BobgerS. as kin, appeared at thu
funeral. 1t was too much for anyone
to bear and she has been Frustrated
ever since.
An Atchison expert n flirting saws
that when you take mold of a girls
hand md che Sla4N,st ,a,,