The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1907-05-09
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~Is Watkins an optimism yes
he'll eat hash in any restaurant In the
country. Detroit Free Press.
THE janitor is sweeping the back
porches. / wonder whyp Il don't
know. l didn't ask him not to-
Cleveland Press.
He (about II 30 p. NIL do wish I
had money enough to travel She (sti-
fling yawn)-May | not lend you your
carfare2- Boston Transcript
she-Do you think our ancestors
were monkeys? He-Mine were. The
whole bunch didn't leave money enough
to buy toothpick Chicago News.
stella-I wonder why sentiment at
taehes to first kiss: BelIa-It's like
the first tooth; you've got to have It be
fore you get the second--BrooklyD
Life.
First Chaufeur-There's one. thing
I hate to run over, and that's a baby.
Second Chauneur-so do 1; them nur-
sing bottles raise Cain with tires
Puck.
Miss sweIlington = What prompted
Miss Golddust to take that old bache-
lor? Miss Wellington (sarcastically1
-Kleptomania, 1 guess-Lippincott's
Magazine.
Mrs. enthusiastically you may
take some OF those biscuits 10 your
friend Is he hungry. too? Weary
No. mum; he's a geologist New Or
leans Picayune.
Church-Does your wife spend much
OF her time shopping? Gotham-She
says not She says she spends most Of
her time waiting for her change
Yonkers Statesman.
Now. Johnny" asked the teacher,
what do we see in the country besides
grass. trees and fowers?" patent
medicine signs - was the prompt reply |
Louisville Courier-JournaL
Dudley has an automobile, hasn't
heY Il don't know" why, I
thought you told me you saw him with !,
Dlt FESLrEuGF Lte- uuL AAdL " d i
yesterday. philadelphia Press
What becomes Of a joke when it
gets too old for the almanacF' The
theatrical program gets it" And from
there its but a step to the musical .
comedy. philadelphia Bulletin.
Customer-so you sell these watches
It So each? 1t must cost that much to
make them. Jeweler-It does Gus
-omer-Then how do you make any
money? Repairing them
Stray Stories.
The Widow want man to do odd
obs about the house, run on errands;
me that never answers back and IS al
Ways ready to do my bidding Appi-
looking for husband.
ma 'am.-Brooklyn Eagle. !
Mr.. Borem-She asked me TO sing,
nd insisted upon encore after encore.
Iiss Pepper-Yes; she told ne after
-ard that anything was Better than sit
ing there and talking to you all the
vening.-Illustrated Bits.
'wyndley doesn't play the cornet any
lore, does he?' NO, he thought he'd
etter give It up" Bad for his lungs.
h?" 1T wasn't that. One Of the
eighors shot two keys of the instru-
lent while he was playing it-"-Cleye
md Plain Dealer.
HAS your wife got your den fixed
p yet?" Eyes. and you ought 10 see it
IS the coolest place in the whole
ouse." u suppose you find great COM
,rt in It, don't you?" "Oh, she won't
t me 90 In ii. It's merely TO look at
Milwaukee Sentinel.
Young Jolliem always avs the
ght thing. doesn't he? de never
.ems at loss for the proper reply"
Well, l saw him nonpluSsed once" :
How was that?' Miss Keene asked >
m If he thought she looked as old as 5
lie was."-Cleveland Leader.
Did you ever succeed in swaying an 2
ldience TO laughter or tears at will?'
no." answered Senator Sorghum: Il
cognize the fact that all the worlds
stage. I don't care 10 be reciting
eeches. I want to be one of the men
the box office. Washington Star.
Teacher-Now, boys, what is the vir-
e Of magnanimIty? Pupils-Aw?l
is il If a big boy want
an apple very badly, and were to =
eet a small boy with one in place
here nobody could take the small
vs. part Glass with eager IL
Oats cinch .-Bald-
ore American.