The independent., 1907-02-07
Mary and the Lamb ModerniZec- c-sy GEORGE ADf

put into his youthful system 10 De car
ried around throughout Long Life!
He has learned that there was Girl
named Mary who was supposed to De
the owner of Lamb. No doubt her
Parents gave it to her-let her blow
about her Proprietorship, and tie Rib
bons on it and sprinkle it with Florida
water, and then when it came time to
make a shipment of Sheep, Father
sold that Lamb along with the others
and Mary never got in on the Divide.
Probably if she asked about it they
conned her by telling her that the
Money was in the Bank.
One day the Lamb followed her up
to the School. The presence of the
lamb afforded Amusement to the other
Children, so the Teacher chased it out;
but it hung around until Recess and
then hunted up Mary. Some of the
children wanted to know why the lamb
was so stuck on Mary, and the Teach
er, who knew everything in the World
that is worth knowing, made Reply
which is supposed to be the Acme of
Profound Wisdom and Sagacity. The
Teacher, after giving some Thought
to the Subject, expressed the Opinion
that the Lamb thought very well OF
Mary because Mary was fond of the
Lamb.
That is the end of the story. Ii
starts out as if something was going
to happen, and then it blows up
AS a narrative it is not only Innoc-
uous, but it is misleading.
Mary is supposed to be a Typical
American Girl If she wanted a Pet,
do you suppose she would let any one
palm off a 81 Lamb on her? Not Oh
your happy childhood days!
She would demand a registered Bos-
ton Terrier worth $3.50, and when she
took that to school with her Teacher
would get on top of the desk.
If the Youth of our Land must put
in many precious Hours finding out
about Mary. why not give them some
thing hot off the Bat, covering the ac-
tual Facts of the case?
Why not say that Mary had a 1907
Motor Car which she was learning to
run herself; tell how Father had to
mortgage the store in order to buy the
Machine and what the Neighbors said
about the Family going without Meat
in order to buy Gasoline?
If you would interest the flippy
Grammar School Girls of today, who
begin Debutting into Society while they
still wear their Hair down the Back
tell them about Mary having a cracker
jack of a Saddle Horse and going out
in the Park and meeting a handsome
College Boy and wanting to elope with
him, until her Pa had to sit up at
night with Shot Gun across his
Knees.
Why not let Mary have something
that the ambitious Maiden of the New
Century really wants?
What could Mary, living in a Flat,
do with Lamb? In the first place the
| II hoy
Revise the Narrative and have it
start out by saying that Mary had a
full set of Gray Squirrel Furs, a pair
of Roller Skates some Boxing Gloves
a set of Golf Clubs, large Photograph
of John Drew, a fivepound box of
| Candy and a Baby Grand Piano, and
Immediately you would interest every
sweet faced Lassie over eight years of
age who is on to her Job.
1t may be that when the Verses were
written, about 200 years ago, the aver
age Mary thought she was doing pret-
| ty well if she owned a Lamb But now
adays Mary has everything that Father
can get for her on Credit and any
time that he fails to come up there is
a Riot.
r. "Mary had a little lamb!" The So
phsticated Marie of the present Hur-
rah Period will not look at Lamb
after she has passed the age of three
She wants six or eight Roosevelt
Bears, each about the size of New
foundland Dog, and she keeps them
propped up in her Room merely as
! Ornaments
Even If Mary had Lamb it couldn't
follow her to School, because she rides
on the Trolley
! If the Children must memorize a lot
of Untruthful Verses regarding Mary
and some kind of an Animal, why not
rig up a corking good Lie-one that
will appeal to the Juvenile Imagina-
/ tom
Why not say that Mary had trained
( Snake 30 feet long, that she stole out
of a Menagerie?
The Snake is very devoted to her be-
cause she feeds 1t a Maltese Kitten
every day
One day Mary is walking in her faith
er's magnificent Private Park that cost
over 81 000. 900. when she is attacked by
/ n handsome Priga nd with a long Mus