The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1907-09-07
THE MAKING OF A SUCCESSFUL WIFE.
BY CASPER 8. Yosr.

BY CASPER 8. YOsT.
Ny dear little girl, am simply con-
sumed with astonishment. The idea
of my daughter, my little sweetheart,
thinking of marriage comes to me
like blow from pile driver, and
you know, my dear, that pile drivers
hit pretty hard lick, especially when
you aren't looking. I'm away from
home so much that it's mighty hard
to realize that you are not my baby
any more; that it is no longer proper
nor digni6ed to dandle you on my
knee-not for me, at least that your
dresses have heightened downward
until they curl around your dainty
ankles, and the golden hair that used
to hang down your back like streak
of woven sunshine is now done up in
a fashionable something or other on
top of your head. I forget that you
are a young lady, graduate from a
swell seminary, can hammer the piano
to make a Paderewski (I'm not sure
whether I spell that right or not) sit
up and take notice; can embroider
dinky little flowers so faithfully that
the honeybees come into the windows
to suck the corner drug store per-
fume from their silken centers can
quote Virgil and Tennyson a n d
Browning and other people that I
don't understand and don't care to,
but am mighty proud that you do /;
can write and read such erudite pa
pers on the whitherness of the where
fore at the women's club that all the
hearers, I am told, are filled with
wonder that so much knowledge could
be brought together under such a
pretty hat. In short, my dear, I
forget that my daughter as an up-to-
date young lady is strictly it.
La me, child, it seems only yester-
day that I was reading you fairy
stories from a yellow covered linen
book and showing you how A was
differentiated from B by certain pecu,
liarities of architecture. Don't you
remember how you used to hide be-
hind the rosebush by the walk and
jump out and frighten me half to
death by hol1eriug .Roo r, when I
came home in the evening? Don't
you remember how you used to climb
up into the haymow and slide down
with a cry of alarm at the start and a
shout of delight at the finish when
you landed safely in my arms? Don't
you remember = but, pshaw! Of
course you don't. You haven't reach
ed the age of memories yet. In your
imagination all the beauty and bright
ness ard glory of life are just ahead
of you, and you look that way. I
pray God that you may always look
that way, always see the sunshine a
little brighter just beyond until you
bask in the light supernal.
THE YOUNG MAN IN THE CASE.
And now my little girl wants to get
married and would like to have papa S
consent. Papa's good deal in the
position of the countryman who goes
up against the shell game at the cir
Gus. The young man in the case is
working the shells, and the chances
are 100 to I against papa. I am
mighty sorry that I don't know him.
At least, I don't remember having
met him unless he was one of that
string of dough-faced popinjays that
danced around you all the time 1 was
at home last trip and kept me from
seeing you when wanted you all
alone. Of all the high collare6, turn
ed up trousers dudes I ever saw that
bunch was the worst. But, there !;
maybe he was one of them, and, come
to think Of it, my judgment was based
on the mass.
You say he's the dearest, sweetest,
bestest-but, my dear little girl, if
Mr.. William Jackson Rollins is all
that you say he is the morning papers
in heaven must be running display ad-
vertisements asking for information
as to the whereabouts of lost, strayed
or stolen angel. If William fits your
description he's got no business down
here. His proper job is fitting around
the pearly gates shooing away US old
sinners who want to break in. But
I'm willing to make allowances for
superlatives of rhetoric and enthu-
siasm and consider your prospectus
on a per cent. basis. Besides, your
mother assures me that William is all
wool and the proper width, and forty
years. experience has taught me that
your mothers judgment can be re.
lied on.
Personally l don't think any man
that walks-or any that rides in an
automobile, for that matter-is good
enough for my little girl, but your
old daddy's got sense enough to know
it's the way of woman to let some
good for nothing cuss in trousers carry
her off, just as I did your mother,
though for the life of me I never
could understand what she could see
in this bundle of bones to banker
after. The Lord did mighty good
| lob when he made woman, but 1t seems
to me he might have improved upon
Adam a little.
don't expect to find perfection in
William. If he's got sufficient guam
tity of good, everyday sense, if he:
honest and upright, if he doesn't
Jump backward when anybody say:
work, and if he really and truly love:
you, l reckon that's all that I car
reasonably expect.
HE MUST BE SAVING.
I'm not particular about the size o
his bank deposit. Just as an evidence
of backbone I hope he's out OF deb