davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1907-12-26
A Ready Retort.

An Irishman. walking in one of
the streets Of Dublin saw q nan
leading dog on the opposite side
Of the street. He got rather inter-
ested in the dog, and, crossing the
street, he touched the man Oh the
shoulder and said, "Wou!d We moind
telling me the breed of that dog?''
The man, who happened to be in
q bad temper, turned round and,
looking at the Irishman, said, eyes;
it's between a monkey and an Irish
man."
"Shure," said Pat, cts related to
both of us. "-Illustrated Bits.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1907-12-26

PANTQR1UA
Clothing of all Description
Cleaned: Pressed and Repaired
Work Neatly and Promptly Done
at Reasonable Rates. {: ::
Out-of-town orders promptly at.
tended to. {:
vAcHoN ANDcoMPANY.
One Door West Of Opera House.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1907-12-26
FUEL.

Before placingyour order for
your winter fuel see McCulloch
& Robinson Lumber Co. They
have increased their storage
capacity one half and are able
to take care of your orders.
They have the following Goals
in stock: Hard Coal, Sunday
Greek Hooking, Zenith Lump,
Zeigler prepared domestic coal,
P'ocahontas smckeless and the
celebrated Solway Milwaukee
coke. We also handle a full
line of wood.
Deliveries m a d promptly.
McCullocll & Robinson Lum-
Der Co.. If.
Trial Catafrh treatments are
heing mailed out free, on re-
quest. by Dr. Shoop, Racine,
Wis. These tests are proving
to the people-witi,in a penny's
great value IF this
cicntific prescription known
~ druggists everywhere as DR.
Shoop's Catarrh Remedy. Sold
by all dealers.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1907-12-26
Saved WALKING.

Some years ago there lived in
Perth, Scotland, man of convivial
habits, well known by his Christian
name, jamie. One dark night an
acquaintance found Jamie lying at
the foot of an outside stair.
lis that you, Jamie?" asked the
acquaintance in voice of the great
est astonishment.
"Aye, it's me-" replied Jamie in
q tone Of complete resignation.
Haye you fa'en doom the stair?''
was the next question.
sAye, I fell doom, butt vas CON-
in doom, whether or no.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1907-12-26
On. EDWARD. WIN. GAG,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON

Once In the new Gum building.
Special attention to x-ray and stotic Elee
cally superduous HAIR. birth marks, VINE
marks. warts and all other facial blemishes
bv Electrolysis. Diseases Of women and chill.
once Phone 1902. Res. Phone 1908.
Office hours 8 IL q. M, rs p. M. Z 0p. m.
BRECKENRIDGE. MINI.
, 1907-01-10
THURSDAY, JAN, 10 1907.

Governor Brooks is to be common
ded for the hearty protest he put in
against the further tampering with the
land laws and the withdraw of 60
vernment land from entry. The idea
that the government is being robbed
of its land is absurd and is the direct
result of the agitation of such men as
Geo. III. Maxwell and men of his kid
ney. The east also shows its jealousy
of, as well as ignorance of the west in
it's foolish opposition to our land laws.
To a law-maker east of the Great
Muddy an acre of ground mea an
acre Of land that a be put under
the pillow at any time the owner sees
fit to use it for c~ultivating "a crop.
They cannot understand that there
are millions of acres in the west that
a never be used for anything but
grazing purposes and often not even
for that. Governor Brooks knows the
situation perfectly and his protest is
an able and timely defense of the
situation in all the arid states.
, 1907-01-10

"What is going to be the end of this
railroad wreck businessi" is the ques-
ton on every tongue. 1t does seem
like if there is any danger in race SUI
icide' it is from that direction. A
wreck where ~20people were killed and
as many wounded was sufficient a few
years ago, to shake the nation from
end to end with horror. Now, a wreck
in which double, or tribble, that num-
Der are killed don't last wei until the
next morning--for there is liable to
be "a worse horror to breakfast on by
that time. The great number of aw-
full wrecks that have taken place here
of late is arousing the nation to the
fact that something must be done to
put a stop to such wholesale slaugh-
Ter.
, 1907-01-10

Poor old Patterson! For six years
he has been IA scourge to the United
States Senate, but will step down and
out on the 4th of next March. He
was terribly beaten in the campaign
in Colorado last fall and now he has
been publicly rebuked by the bust
ness associations of Denver and forced
to make a public apology for his
knocking and SANDER. One wonders
where his public career will end.
, 1907-01-10
Press Clippings
} What the Other Papers are Doing and I
4 Saying for the State and the People. !
Can't Crush Truth.

Truth, is the only piece of baggage
on earth that actually improves with
rough handling. When the average
man or woman attempts to take a
fall out of the truth he or she gener-
ally bounces back about ID rods and
lands ker PUNK on the lower end of
the spinal column which is a very
tender locality and should not be used
in this way unless it is we'll paded, as
it sometimes is. When you under
take to give the truth a black eye
about the only thing you can figure
on for crtain is a skinned fist. You
know it too. Because the chances
are you have tried it. Oh it Doesn't
make any difference about your being
too good or too religious. Some of
the largest liars on earth profess to
be pious. We wouldn't say this but
we don't want to get away from IL
subject which, as you will remember,
is Truth. You can't bruise the truth.
Every time you land on it you create
a beauty spot. The more you pun
ish it the better it looks. The old
saying, Truth crushed to earth will
rise again." has as yet never been YER
flied, for it has never been crushed to
earth. OF course it would rise again,
but how can it rise when il is already
up7 You never saw truth down in
your life. If it falls it falls up and
that is all there is to it. Crushed!
Ha. Ha. The idea! Why you might
as well talk about crushing space.
You might as well try to mash infin-
ity. Crushed truth! Can you punch
IA hole in the aetherial dome with a
tooth pick7 No, not even by borrow
ing a step ladder. Neither can you
crush the truth, even though you
may be president and general mana,
ger of the pile driver trust.-Gurnsey
Gazette.
, 1907-01-10

1t is the custom of some newspapers,
like some people, to always look on
things from the seamy side of life.
They are always turning the wrong
side of things out for the people to
look at and then they say: "Just
look! Did you ever see anything SO
bad as this?" Veal know that there
is a seamy side of life, but there is no
need to be calling attention toit. Far
better ignore many things than to
give them prominence by printing or
talking about them. What cannot be
mended by publicity had far better be
let alone-ignored as much as posi-
BILE, for many insignificant things
which cannot be helped are made of
Importance by being published,
, 1907-01-10

The Sun is in receipt of a large
number of new subscriptions the past
month, showing that the people are
bound to have the news of the valley
and appreciate our efforts to get up a
live paper. We will do our best to
respond to this proof of confidence.
The Sun always stands at the head of
the procession.
, 1907-01-10
Makes Noise like IA Dub"

The last issue of the Sheridan Post
"makes a noise" like a dub, and shows
evidence of having lost its reason
through political disappointment of
the dictator of its politics. Every
body knows and the Sheridan Post
ought to know that Sen itor Warren's
time for making a defense is when he
is properly confronted with accusa-
tions and his accusers. The man who
PUSHES into print in such cases shows
a weakness. The clamoring of his pc
litical enemies has been made to in-
huence the unthinking, and that the
Post has fallen victim is a surprise
Rawlins Republican.
, 1907-01-10

There are those who are prophesy-
ing that We are not going to have any
winter. That is a very hasty con
clusion to form from the mild weather
80 far. We will get enough winter
before the grass comes again. We al
ways get just about so much snow
fall and if it does not come at one
time it does another. The early cold
weather of October and the first of
November is the reason of the very
pleasant Christmas that we enjoyed,
else we should have had zero weather
during the holidays. There is album
dance of time for an awful hard win
ter yet.
, 1907-01-10

1t is now certain that Senator War
rem will receive the unanimous vote of
the republicans in the Legislature.
There will be some democrat who will
be honored by the three or four dem
ocratic votes in that body which will
make him conspicuous by the insig-
n~ificance of the vote and the hope
~lessness of his ever seeing the inside
of the United States Senate.
, 1907-01-10

And sothey had to arrest Emma
Goldman, the anarchist, once againl
If they could take her to the wharf
and quietly drop her off into the deep
water it would be a benefit to man
kind. Miss Goldman does not bell
evein law and bids defiance toaIl % ms
of government. Poor fool! She and
her kind have yet to learn that the
universe is governed by law.
, 1907-01-10

Frank D. Bridges, who lives close
to the edge of the state line between
Wyoming and Colorado, in the Big
creek neighborhood, gave a dance at
his place last Saturday night, at
which the neighbors gathered in and
had a good sociable time. Refresh
ments were served during the evening
and the party broke up at midnight.
, 1907-01-10
Notice Of Estrayed Cattle

! am out 3 head of cattle, as follows:
l black COW, branded Ia on right hip;
n black steer, coming two, branded
o on Left side of neck, and one red
heifer with white face, coming two,
Branded o on left side of neck. ANY
ono finding the same please notify =,
12-27-4w. c. NJ. Scribner.
, 1907-01-10

Don't lose money; get a Coles Hot
Blast heater at Jensen's.
Special Announcement Regarding the
National Pure Food and Drug Law.
We are pleased to that
Foley's Honey and Tar for coughs,
colds and lung troubles is not affected
by the National Pure Food and Drug
law as it contains no opiates or other
harmful drugs, and we recommend it
as a safe remedy for children and ad-
ults.-Price's Drug store.
, 1907-01-10

George w. Walker, the Cheyenne
correspondent, deserves great credit
for his articles on Wyoming, its pro
auctions during the year 1906 and
its future possibilities. 1t was IA work
of considerable labor and one from
which the newspaper fraternity of
Wyoming make liberal quotations.
, 1907-01-10

The unanimous vote cast for Sena-
tor Warren at the caucus of the repub-
lican members of the Legislature was
a splendid endorsement of a splendid
man and the nswer Wyoming makes
to all the calumnies that are being
heaped % his head.
, 1907-01-10

Pine Salve Carbonized, acts like a
poultice; highly a%ntiseptic, extensive
ly used for Eczema, for chapped
hands and lips, cuts. burns. Prices
Drug Store.
, 1907-01-10

"Pineules" (non-alcholic) made
from resin from our Pine Forests,
used for hundreds Of years for Blad-
der and Kidney diseases. Medicine
for thirty days, S1.0O. Guaranteed.
Prices Drug Store.
, 1907-01-10
EXTRACTS FROM THE FOOL
ISL DICTIONARY

Alphabet A toy for the children
found in books, blocks, pictures
and vermicilli soup. Contains
26 letters and only three sylla-
bles.
Ancestors The %originators Of the
Family Tree, a remarkable sex
paradox in which the Ann sisters
are always the four fathers.
Angel A heavenly ineligible, with
wings and a harp; or, an earthly
eligible, with money and a heart.
Anti Imperialist A patriot whose
conscience works overtime.
Appendicitis A modern pain, cost
ing about 5000 more than the old
fashioned stomach-ache.
Athlete A dignified bunch of mus
Giles, unable to split wood or sift
the ashes
Automobile From Eng. ought to,
and moveo, to move A vehicle
which ougt to move, but fire.
quently cant.
Automobilist A land lubber on
wheels made up to resemble a
deep sea diver.
Bahy From Grk. babai, wonderful.
Parents are yet to be heard from
who don't think theirs is a
wonder. A nocturnal animal
to which everyone in "A sleeping
car is eager to give a wide berth.
Bachelor From Latin baculus, a
stick, unattached. Hence, an
unattached man, which any lady
may stick, stick to, or get stuck
Backbiter A musquito.
Balance Something wanted by book
keepers and often lost by topeis.
May re found in a cash book or
the kangaroo gait.
Bandit An outlaw. See Alderman.
Bars Things found in harbors, hotels,
fences, prisons, courts and music.
Chose found in courts and music
are full of BEATS
Beach A strip of sand, skirted by
water; covered with lady killers
in summer, life-savers i'll winter,
and used as a haven.or heaven
for Smacks all the year round.
Benedict A married male.
Benedictine A married female.
Benediction Their children.
Berth An aid to sleep, invented by
Pullman. Lower preferred.
Birth An aid to life, discovered by
woman. Higher preferred.
Bioycle-skirt An abbreviated gar
ment that makes women look
shorter and men longer.
Bigamy A form of insanity in which
man insists IN paying three
board bills instead of two.
Billiousness A liver complaint often
mistaken for piety.
Biograph A stereoptican picture
taken with a chill and shown
with tremors,
, 1907-01-10

Gus Jensen & Bro. have the finest
line of c~offees; just step in and let
them 'show you"
, 1907-01-10

Are your hens on a strike9 Get
Lees Egg Maker at Jensen's.
, 1907-01-10

Mr.. Walker is a live, energetic, rel
able correspondent and deserves to
succeed.
, 1907-01-10
You can get all kinds of seeds and
spices for your pickles at Jensen's.
IS Assays or Analyses for 5000

Why not buy Saratoga property
now? d. S. Crawford
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-27
STOP INSULTS TO OUR FLAG.
Manila Police Suppress Use of Insur.
rectionary EmbIems-Drastic Ac-
ton Approved.

Manila, Aug. 24.-The police have
been ordered to suppress the sale and
exhibition of Katipunan Gnsurrect-
tionary) flags and emblems. 1t is cur
rently believed that resort to drastic
measures have received the approval
of the authorities at Washington.
The victorious natfonalists faunt
this secret society flag on every oc.
casion, and Americans are indignant
at the implied insult to the American
flag.
Meanwhile the veteran army and a
committee formed OF some Of the best
citizens of Manila have completed ar
rangements for. a patriotic massmeet-
ing Delegations from Cavite, Fort
Mckinley and other nearby places
will attend. The meeting will discuss
means of preventing further insult to
the United States flag.
The Americans here are profoundly
in earnest and are thoroughly opposed
to the unlicensed exhibition of insur-
rectionary emblems That has been pre-
valent since the assembly elections.
The Philippines commission probably
will adopt some legislation against a
continuance Of the practice.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-27

ton came in an editorial implying that
as Deadwoods past might not COM
pare favorably with the moral record
OF some other cities, If the name were
changed the town might live down It's
dark deeds for which 1t was supposed
to be noted throughout the world. But
the town did not see it that way. Each
Of the other newspapers In this sec
ton denounced the scheme. and the
editor was himself swamped with no.
tees from pioneers and others that
they would never see their handiwork
marred by such an act that the affair
was passed off as a Joke. The pio-
neer society threatened to call meet
ing to publicly brand the name chang
ing, should 1t be taken seriously.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-27
RUSSELL.

Russell.-Mrs. Charlotte Coe of Chi
cago arrived Friday for visit with
her sister, Mrs. l.. A. Butts, In the
west part Of town.
Mrs. Laura Clinton and son, Dwight
left Friday for visit at Marshaltown,
Des Mones and Osceola.
B. E. Stech of Carleton, Neb arr
the home of his uncle, P II. Stech, and
family.
Mrs. z. c. Lewis and son, Fred, LEFT
on No. Saturday for a weeks visit
with relatives at Charlton.
Mr.. and Mrs. NJ. M Westlake visited
last week with their sons, Elmer and
William, at Melrose.
Guy Force, Ralph Huston, p. +.
Sprague and John Ewald. left Friday
afternoon for Des Moines 10 attend the
State fair.
Eva Limbaugh left on No. Satur-
day for visit with her sisters at Mela
rose.
P. M. Mettlin and wife of Oelwein,
arrived Saturday evening for visit at
the A. j. Mettlin home IN the SOUTH
east part of town.
Ethel Irons was a passenger on No,
for Abba Saturday for a visit with
her sister. Mrs. Mary Van Banthuysen.
Mr.. and Mrs. G. A. Shields left on
No. Saturday for Ottumwa.
Mr.. and Mrs. Edd Cobb and daugh-
ter. Marie, and Charles Thompson and
wife left Saturday afternoon for Des
Moines, driving through by wagon to
attend the State fair.
Mrs. Iva Kinsey of Charlton arrived
Saturday evening for an over Sunday
visit with her parents. Mr.. and Mrs.
Selden King, south OF town.
J. r. Saylor Of Des Moines arrived
Saturday for visit with Miss Harriet
DeLano.
Mr.. and Mrs. O. A. Adams of Abba
spent Sunday with relatives in Rus
sell.
Mr.. and Mrs George Mccormick left
on No. 8 Saturday for Des Moines.
The Junior Epworth League gave an
Ice cream social on the church lawn
Friday evening
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-27
BUY A FARM

In Aitkin county, central Minnesota,
where you can buy better and cheaper
lands for your money than you can In
any other part of the central states.
We have now farms listed with US for
sale at from SIS to $40 per acre. with
some fair improvements, and wild lands
at from 81 to SIS per acre, which we
can sell on easy terms. Close to rail-
road and good markets; rich sandy
tleck loan with clay sub-soil. pure
water, healthy climate, cheap lumber
and fuel. We would like to know
where man with small means can
secure home as easy now days rs he
can In central Minnesota. That part
OF the country never has been doomed
like Canada, or the panhandle of Tex
as, We have some small traits Of lanes
which We can exchange for small OF
tumwa property.
We have Iowa, South and North Da-
E1ta farms for sale, irrigated lands in
tao Big Horn basin wyoming, With
full water right at $35 per acre. Home
seekers excursion the first and third
Tuesday in each month. Come and go
WITH US to Aitkin, Mimi, Sept 5.
JOHN p. APPLEQUlST & CO.,
l28 &. Main Street. OttumWa, la.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-27
"Newsiesr at Jamestown

Norfolk, Va, Aug. 24.--Today was
set aside by the management of the
jamestown exposition as "Newsboys"
day. Thousands Of newsboys of all
ages, white and black, sound and
crippled, were on hand from Washing
ton, Baltimore, Philadelphia, Rich
mond and some from points farther
distant. They were given the free.
dom Of the exposition grounds and
the Warpath and 1t is safe to say
that no visitors since the opening If
the big fair ever enjoyed themselves
more thoroughly
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-27
OBITUARY.
Mrs. Ryden Dies.

AT 4:30 a.e NJ, Saturday at tn
home Of Oscar Landgren of 1875 Elm
street occurred the death of Mrs. Ry-
den at the advanced age of "a years.
The funeral was neld from the
home Of Oscar Lundgren on Elm street
at $3.50 O'Clock Sunday afternoon to
the Swedish Mission church. Rev. Os.
car Dahlberg conducted the services.
The interment was made in the OF
tumwa cemetery.
Mrs. Ryden had been a resident of
the city for thirty years. She was a
widow and leaves no relatives. Mrs.
Ryden was an earnest christian work
er, general favorite and was known
as auntie Ryden by her numerous
friends VINO are saddened by her death.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-27

the fire department and butcher who
has been off for the past ninety days
returned to work last Monday.
Night Waterman Thomas Vaughan
was called home last Monday night by
the illness of one of his children The
little girl had cotton hold of some
Arsenic tablets which her mother had
put away and swallowed two of them
and was in spasms when her father
got home she is now out of all danger.
Messrs Converse Goddard and H. N.
Wood, expert inspector for North Brit
fish and Merchantile Insurance Co.,
of Chicago were here and inspected
"a. b. D.. & o." last Tuesday.
Mr.. ana Mrs. Geo. H. Horned and
wife of Austin MINI were here last
Saturday and Sabbath and were guests
of Mr.. and Mrs. T. D. Foster at theif
Bungalow on the farm.
l. H. Weybandt. formean in the ma
chine shop, is enjoying his vacation.
John Harry VINO drives one Of ]. NJ.
& Co.'S, market wagons is in Iroing,
Kan, this week visiting relatives. He
is accompanied by his wife and young
er children [
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-27
JoRHlNe TRADE BRISK.
Preparations for Fall and Winter
Trade by Retailers Indicate Con-
,fidence in Continued Activity.

Preparations for Fall and Winter
Trade by Retailers Indicate Con-
.fidence in Continued Activity.
New York. Aug. 24.-R @. Dun &
Co.'S weekly review Of trade says to.
day:
"Jobbing markets are well attended
by interior buyers and country mer-
chants, who operate with great free.
dom considering the financial strin-
gency which has compelled the post
ponement Of much contemplated
structural work. Yet many western
and southern cities report building op.
erations in excess of last years, and
as the harvests progress there is more
disposition to increase preparation for
future needs.
Retail stocks have been depleted
by the customary bargain sales, and
preparation for fall and winter trade
indicate confidence in continued &C.
tivity.
AT most domestic points there is
no complaints regarding collections,
but reports from Canada indicate
many requests for renewals"
Chicago Trade Review.
The Weekly Review of Chicago
Trade. published by r. G.. Dun & Co.
says today:
Another notable increase in the
volume Of payments through the
banks testifies to sustained activity In
commerce, and the defaults reported
are remarkably low. There Is. how
ever, evidences OF heavy specula-
tive operations in securities and grain
and this interferes with more gener-
al confidence in the trade outlook.
"Other adverse developments of re-
cent origin impress more conservn.
tism in large enterprises and the posi-
ton Of money offers no encourage
ment. Notwithstanding the draw
backs, demands are found equaling
expectations in the leading industries
and there is no perceptble recession
in production and distribution.
Heavy shipments of currency to
move crops draw sharply upon depos-
its, and the discount rate is firm at
the highest quotation this year. but
reserves are well maintained and
most mercantile interests are provid-
ed with requirements at this time"
Bank cIearings.
The bank clearings show an aggrs.
gate of $2,257 $4,000 against s2,762,-
826, 900 last week and 50, 291 1854 900 in
the corresponding week last year,
Canadian clearings for the week total
l$S7057000 as against $685., 900 last
week and $T0.072,000 the same week
last year.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-27
May Push Canal Work.

Washington, Aug. 24.-Careful EXAM
nation Of the law governing the con-
struction of the Panama canal has
convinced Acting Secretary Of War
oliver that the President is authorized
to grant the request of the isthmian
canal commission for permission to
create deficiency of $8,0OO,000 during
the current fiscal year to meet the re-
quirements Of the engineering depart
ment for enlarged operations. The
attorney general some time ago rem
dered an opinion that the limitations
imposed upon the executive depart
ments OF the government did not APP
ply as a whole to the canal construc-
ton. which was governed by the
Spooner act.