The independent., 1907-03-07

il ! have amy grlefS must pear
thin alone. If a bachelor complains
iv his throubles people say: oh, he's
a gay dog. Sarves him right An il
he goes on complainin he's liable to
be in gr-reat peril. | wudden't dare
to tell me woes to ye'er wife. If I
did she'd have a good cry because
she injyes cryin', and TIM she'd put
on her bonnet an r-run over an sick
tn widow O'Brien on me.
"Whn lady begins to wondher il
I'm not onhappy in me squalid home
without tn touch iy a Woman's hand
ayether in tn tidy on tn chair or in
tn inside pocket iy tn coat, ! say
No, ma'am, / live in gr-reat luxury
surrounded be all that money can buy
an NANNY things that it can't or
won't There ar-re Turkish rugs on
tn nure an chandyleers hang from tn
ceilins. There I set at night dhrinkin'
absinthe, sherry wine, port wine,
champagne. beer whisky, rum, claret,
kimmel, weiss beer cream de mint,
curaso, an binidictine, occas'nally
takin' a dhraW at an opeem pipe an
r-readn' F'r-rnch novel Th touch
iv woman's hand Wudden't help this
here abode iv luxury Wanst whin
was away tn beautiful Swede slave
that scrubs out me place iv business
broke into tn palachal boodoor an
in thrin' to set straight tn lie paintin
iv tn Chicago fire burnin' Ilivator b,
broke piece off frame that cost me
two dollars iv good money IF they
knew that tn on'y furniture in me
room was a cane bottomed chair an
thrunk an that there was nawthin'
on tn fiure but oilcloth an me clothes,
an that tbs so long since me bed was
made up that it's now a lifesize plaster
cast iv me, I'd be dhragged to tn altar
at tn end iv a chain.
"Speakin, as wan iv tn few survivin'
bachelors, an old vethran that's es-
capped nanny a peril an got out iv
NANNY difficult position with honor,
| wist to say that fair woman is niver
so dangerous as Whin she's sorry FIR
We. Whin tn wurruds Poor man rise
to her lips an tn nurse light comes
/ into her eyes. ! know it's time FIR me
i to take me hat an go. An if tn hats
not handy | go without it,
II bet We tn idee iv taxin' bachelors
started with tn dear ladies. But ! say
TO thin: Ladies, is not this a petty re-
venge on ye'er best frinds? Look on
| ye'er own husbands an think what us
bachelors have saved NANNY iv ye'er
sisters firm. Besides aren't we tn hope
iv tn future iv tn instichoochion iy
mathrimony? If tn onmarrid ladies
ar-re 10 marry at all. Ills us. tn bold
bachelors. they must look for
ward to. Lave us our money
We're not bachelors firm choice
We're bachelors because we can't
make choice. Ye all look sc
lovely to us that we hate To bring tn
tears into tn eyes iv others iv ye bs
mnrryin' some iy ye. Considhcr onl
onforchni. position an hc kind Don'i
oppress us. We were not meant fl
slaves. Don't thry 10 coerce us. Con
tinue Ia lay fr as an hope on. III ~
tnx rs there's hardly nm old bachelor
in tn land that won't Hing his five dol
urs aerost tn counter nj tn tax office
an My; Hang tn expense. It's worth
IT."
"ye're surely q nne lot iv men," saic
MIR HennesSy Grand men like "
oughtnt 20 have 20 pay taxes. Gccs
night"
Where ar-re ye eoin'f" asked Mr.
IDnules.
"l'm Ecin' home"
: Where"
"Hamr"
: why. ll'~ arly yet. ye're not goln
, home IA this hunrt Why, 'tis Just tn
front durc Nv ih' ayeaia'."
I've S.t 30 50"