New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1907-01-06

q
q capital story, was free OF all the
Jokes and tricks in the calendar,
and YOU may well suppose,
was IN hot water as a chronic condition ct, Tor
all that there wasn't mortal on the globes round
that was loved better both by friends and enemies
alike than was poor Ned Hynes-God rest you,
Ned
Bur the Joke he played upon Lord Uplanns and
FrEaha Montgomery the croWnlng one IN
Ned career. 1t was during that twelve months
when PLAINS was Lord Lieutenant OF ireland, and
made himself ALWAYS unpopular and often laughing
stock on account of the pomposlty and ridiculous
vanity Of the man constantly putting him into very
ludllrgus corners while at the same time he would
do tle oldest things, on occasion, that ever LORD
Lieutenant did before or since. More by the same
token. Ned Hynes but a sorry tavor1te with
U-.arrs For at the dinners Uplanns gave to the
Law Ned in the cracking of his jokes-which he
could uo more help, poor fellow, than the sun It's
shine was no resPecter OF persons-eyen, OF the
persons oi DOmpOus Lord LleutenantS- And PLAINS
used cali him Ugly Hynes, thinking he was thereby
striking he sorest point a man corpus.
ned used to enjoy this, and used to say 1t IS my
rn.5.r. lne not to be born beauty; but then, you
know no mortal can expect all gifts; Beauty, and
brains we're never in the one box. Meself and His
Eze -acy illustrate that. Ned Hynes has got no
beauty Uplanns has got it all in beauty
8. The time | talk of Ned rellglouSly
doing the Northern Circuit, though no stray SOY
ereiEa account of any case 1neandered INTO MS
purse cren by accident. He had splendid rgout
l:u-ald for of course and likely SO to remaln),
for be mad come to the conclusion that 1t was fine
clothes more than the fine the rascally clients
looked Tor But the shine of his black SUIT and glossy
castor had not for far hypnOtized soul OF them
i attracted beggars by the bushel, which Ned en-
Jyved for he had whispered one OF these chaps
when ne came to him with his tale OF woe ana
string # PRAYERS that would reach from CaIrick-
f-rgos TO Christmas whispered to him, Honor
among thieves, by your leave! m one OF your
selves"
Well in this gorgeous suit of his, he one day
found himself with another poor devil OF parrlSter
equally stranded with him, named Maciona9h,
fifteen mile from Omagh the two OF them pendlile
their WAYS for the next aSSiZe town with not SoHldy
three ha pence between the pair OF them Z on the
hillside to the left of the road, very peautnulE
situated, indeed a handsome residence TOOK He!I
eye, and Ned inquired of a man they met VINO II
Vas lived IN 1t, and learned that II was riAJo'+N
montgomery. IL:
Ned whistled. He had heard power about TINS
montgomery, who a pompous KIND OF d ma. man
also, who put up for big things on Slah Jusliiic1
tons 1t oftentimes game OF the lawyers at Tue
Onagh asSlZeS to 90 maSSe TO ms mouse Vi a.
evening, butter him up, an have the latheI anu
mother OF a fine supper at the lad expense MOI
over Just now, there was deal of talk about him.
by reason he was seekin to be president Oh d no''
agricultural scheme the Government were lll i
duclng in the north; with every likelihood OF getting
It, too, Tor the reason that he heartily -
hated the people, and the people ~
heartily hated hm-the first and CgN5!\
foremost recommendation for any 5YXA
Government post in Ireland. The EEQ
lad runnn again him, MacGauran l|-f
Of EnnsIilen, everyone knew ri I
100 good TO get the post III
ana had too many kind - n HI
prayers and well wishers ~ 4 IN
among the multitude TO
succeed. The Lord would On nix i
grant many thing ~ />%tfZI1 ~
ireland if it wasn't for )@~~T/
the Lord Lieutenant Il