The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-11-17
BY IRWIN s. COBB.

Anything in the papers tonight
about the Injian uprisin'?" asked the
Head Bell Boy OF the Hotel st. Reck-
less. who still reads the young Path
finder" series sometimes in the pri-
vacy of his apartments.
Il didn't know thered been one"
said the Hotel Clerk. But at that
I've always looked for the day to come
when Buffalo Bills trouD would or
ganiZe the international Brotherhood
of Scalp Finishers and Feather Work
ers and go strike for an eight-hoUr
day and a closed shop. I suppose by
thit time Cody's names been posted
on the unfair list outside the Second
Presbyterian church and the Woman's
club at Rosebud, South Dakota, and
they're fixing TO take old Major
Burke's union card away from him. Or
maybe there's been a walk-Out Up at
the HippodrOme on account of the en-
plOyment of scab foreign war dancers
from Canada. Right from the very
start l always cOntended that the late
Sitting Bull had the right name for
walking delegate because 1 never saw
one yet that would walk when he
could sit, but why
Jaw. quit your kiddin. Mr.. Nc
Bean" said the Head Bell Boy. You
know what I mean-the Utes."
"Oh. the Utes," said the Hotel Clerk.
the sassy little Unitarian Utes from
the Utah university. Why didn't you
say so? Well, l understand that the
truant officer went out and found
them playing membly-peg back of the
coal shed. The ringleaders have all
been stood up in the corner with their
hands behind them, and the next time
they run away they're going to be
made to stay in at recess. The Off
cials unite in the statement that stern
measures viii be taken, if necessary, to
break up this habit Of playing hockey
from the reservation in tyr fall of the
year. They may even resort to spank
ing"
THAT amt the way I've been read
ing it," insisted the Head Bell Boy,
evidently endeavoring to quote the ac-
count from memory. THE little Utes
is the last of the Oncivilized tribes, and
recently, when efforts was made to re-
duce their rations. they broke from
bounds being by nature blood-thirsty
in the extreme
well. I don't much blame 'em for
being thirsty" said the Hotel Cletk,
seeing as how our Jealous govern
ment restraints 'em from iindulgtng in
anything stronger than red pop. On
4 reservation it's just like in Kan
sas without the hospitable drug stores,
which 7 am told make glad even the
most arid OF Kansas landscapes. But
you take it from me, Hops, it amt
blood that the Uta's been thirsty for
It begins with b, and the other three
letters are two es and an T, and if
you're a smart boy you can guess the
rest Of 1t for yourself"
Amt they the same bunch that
"a e. To
demanded the Head Bell Boy. 1T
seems to me like they wasn't too tame
then"
They're the same bunch, always al
lowing for the natural increase in
young Utelets since that time" said
the Hotel Clerk, "and / distinctly re-
call the function on which they en-
barked. Possibly II wasn't so tame, as
you have just remarked, but II II had
been any tanner than 1t was it would
take words of one syllable TO describe
it. As I remember, the Utes were
seized with a great longing to return
10 their old hunting ground far away
10 the westward in the general direc-
ton of the setting sun, not TO mention
the unseated Schmitz and the seatless
Ruef. How should they have known
that their former hunting grounds are
now densely populated with real es-
tate agents, homesteaders from In
diana and federal offlcehOlders engaged
in working up a healthy third-term
sentiment?
so they put on the war paint and
took the warpath. That is. they
thought il was a waTpath. But il
wasn't. IL was a board walk. And
owing to the clerk in his hurry getting
his labels mixed, instead of war paint
what they got was Florida water. Poor
things. they didn't know the difference.
But they had the very best intentions
i'm the world. They took along their