davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23
4 Chronic Kicker.

What's the matter?"
"Oh, the kentry's goin' 20 rack an ruin"
But times are good"
That's IT, We're too prosperous"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23

England rises up and abolishes the
House Of Lords every once in a while. In
the United States some one comes along
and kills the peach crop three or four
times every spring.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23
Easily satisfied.

From the Philadelphia Ledger.
"Notoriety is dearer than anything else
to that man.
Yes. Hes all pulled up for an hour
if he happens TO see his name in the city
directory"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23
Easier snid Than Done.

From Puck
SteelmiH. ST.. (of ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS,
my son. TO stick to your last
Steemin. Jr (absently)-But suppose
she, too sues for divorce?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23
}. Happy Moore.

Philadclphia's newest member OF the
House is the Hon J. Hampton Moore.
longtime journalist and first chief of the
Bureau Of Manufactures of the Depart
mout Of Commerce and Labor So CHEEKY
a soul is the Hon. J. Hampton that, al
though lac has been a member OF the
House only since the beginning of this
session. having been elected 20 Hll q
vacancy, he is called by his colleagues on
both sides Of the chamber J. Happy
Moore Even the doOrkeepers know him
only by that name
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23
NOTHING SERIOUS.
From The Philadelphia Pres
How Odd!

How Odd!
Joakey-Queer thing about that taIl
man over there. All his intimate friends
call him short.
Poakley-Ah, just for "a joke / suppose.
Joakley-No, because that's his name
Their Ultimate Hopes.
These young society buds" said the
Rev. Mr.. Harper "are mere dolls. They
have no thought Of the future life"
'Of tho future lifee" replied Miss Cid
dey. ''Oh. but they do. matrimony is al
ways In their thoughts
sure Thing.
Gaddie-Dublcy. who lost his voice more
than "a year ago. has a new doctor work
ing ON him now and the doctor insists he'll
soon enable him 90 speak Dubley's very
pessimistiC about about It. though
WIse-Aud yet If the doctor succeeds I'll
bet Duhieys first words VIII he Il told
you So"
Just Described Her.
Yes" said Loyct Il was engaged TO
/ her once"
$50 I understand remarked hewitt
She told mo she was am old fame of
. l'tII
That's pretty near right She certainly
did burn up my money.
Lots Of II. But-
Mrs. Gest-Did you ever see so much
wretched bad taste az one time as these
deCoTaUons--
Mrs. Allsow-Never. 7 was just about
To- remark it,
Mrs. Newritch 1the hostessJ-How dive
do. ladies' Glad 60 see YOU
Mrs. Gest and Mrs. AIIs0w Gin chorus}-
We were just remarking on the great
amount Of taste you display.
Just Hint.
Mrs. Eutely-I saw Mrs. SwcIiman's
furs to-day. She's got the IoveHest. seal
skin iuhHcL
Mr.. EUtely- SeaIslin "johne:2" What
nonsense DO you mean "j8cketo"
Mrs Eutely-Yes dear. but I've never
been sufficiently familiar with one 90 call
10 that
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23
The Caramel King

Ia the Hon David Franklin Iafeln
the York district Of Pennsylvania is rep
resented in the House by the caramel
king of America. Mr.. Lafean has built
Up i'm his home town the largest caramel
factory in the United States. if not i'm the
world lie has combined into "a COM
mui,y of interest all the concerns in
the country that manufacture chocolate
oaramels, known to the trade as the
Chocolate Caramel Trust. and is sud 80
control outright the entire product or
this toothsomc article SO dear TO women
and children. Just how it happened that
this sort of industry should have been
developed At York. which is so far re-
moved from the centers OF sugar and
chocolate production. is not known. ex-
cept it be that il is entirely due to the
business energy and genius of Mr. La
tean. It is said that he started on a
small scale, and that within a quarter
OF "a century his establishment has be-
come the largest of its kind in the world
1t is now one Of the chief manufacturing
industries of York
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23

From the Catholic Standard and Times.
After all, said the philosopher. the
real joy Of a thing is in the anticipation
of it,"
We'll" replied Henpeck, IF there's any
JOY in mauimOuy, that must be it, -
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23
Il Does.

THE legislature Of Utah has adopted
resolutions commencing the United States
Senate"
Wei. we'll, And does the poor old Sen
ate really get "a kind word al last?"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23
Lonesome.

Now my cold has gone away.
And I know not what 10 do.
Kept me busy all the day,
Il was cheap amusement, TOO.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23
CAPITOL GOSSIP.


/ Robert J.. owen, of Muskogee, Ind. r.,
apparently satisfied with his prospects of
election 10 the Senate as soon as the new
state of Oklahoma is organized and al
mitted to the Union. has returned TO
Washington and is among the first ar
rivals at the Capitol every day For
many years Mr. owen has been conspicu-
Gus among the men who have advised
Congress and the Department of the IN
terror Gn al matters pertaining TO the
Indians and it has not been long since
/ he earned "a fee of more than a half a
million dollars as the legal representative
OF the Cherokees. Mr.. owen is part
/ Cherokee himself. although his COM
plexion barely suggests the presence of
Indian blood IN his veins
He is making a campaign for the Sen
ate in the proposed new State that is
described as thoroughly up 10 date Not
content with going among the people and
appealing 10 the Democratic masses 10
instruct their legislative candidates 10
vote for him when the new State legisla-
ture shalt assemble. Mr owen is said 10
De carrying IN every newspaper in Okla
homa and the Indian Territory a flaming
advertisement calling attention modesuy
10 his claims and qualifications. II Is be-
iieved that this is the first time "a candi-
date for the United States Senate has EN-
ployed the power OF the press iu this man
her 10 advance bis candidacy. Mr. owen
also has IN his veins some Of the best
blood OF Virginia, and is lawyer Of
recognized ability He does not look
nearly as much Ike an Indian as does
Senator Curtis, Of Kansas.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23

From the Richmond Times Dispatch.
We should learn from experience. It is
far easier 10 exclude a racial problem
than to solve it after it has been landed
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23
His Natural Pose.

From the New York World.
If they should ever scUlp a statue Of
Secretary Shaw in a characteristic at
titude' it would be in that of relieving
Wall street -
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23

The New orleans PiCayune thinks the
President should Put his own likeness on
the gold coins OF the land. now that he
has announced his intention to change the
designs. Why not? Everybody has de-
signs on the coin
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23

Our English cousins were, Of course.
politely attentive TO other things while we
were fighting the Revolutionary war all
over again yesterday
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23
The Hoosiers Ripped Up.

The Indiana delegation was thrown into
"a hutter of repressed excitement a few
days ago by the discovery thc- fp-rs,c~
Representative Henry L. Johnson had
been rendered by the President one of the
best plums now remaining upon the pat
ronage tree, which is that of special at
torney for the Interior Department to
supervise the final abandonment of tribal
relations in the Indian Territory. The
salary of the position is SSO00 a year, and
the office may last several years.
It was quite by chance that the news Of
Mr.. JohnsOn's selection reached the In
diana delegation. and then there was
quick rush of Ho0sier statesmen to the
White House TO learn if it were true
Immediate confirmation of the report was
received there. accompanied By the in
formation that the selection had been
made mainly on the recommendation of
William Dudley Foulke oEe of the Presi-
dents closest friends in Indiana. and at
one time a member of the Civil Service
Commission by appointment of Mr. Roose-
welt.
What is to be the final outcome cannot
now be foreseen. The Indiana Repubn-
cans recall that Mr. Johnson supported
Bryan in 1896, and they intimated 10 the
President the strong suspicion that his
appOintee had even refused to vote for
him either in 1900 or 1894. As such things
go in Ho0sierdom. this presents a situa-
tion that is at least novel, if not startling
1t is considered to be not improbable that
the President may find it convenient to
withdraw the tender of the place TO Mr.
Johnson. or it is possible that William
Dudley Foulke may induce Mr.. johnson
10 decline the appointment, which would
produce quite as novel a situation in
Indiana politics as at present is threat
ened by reason Of the offer Of the position.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23

The agitation in favor of written con-
stitution for England is worrying certain
eminent statesmen Of that country. It is
hard To understand why. Constitutions
are harmless things
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23

Atlanta has discovered that one of the
city policemen has second cousin who
knows one of Harry Thaws intimate
friends. The town is wild with excite
ment about it,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23

THE evil influence of a Mormon i'm the
Senate is bad says an agitator That
is obviously true. It would be impossible
70 find am evil Influence, Mormon or anti
Mormon. that is not bad
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23

The announcement in this column rec
entity that Champ Clark had about fin
ished writing ii history of Missouri re-
minded the Texas contingent of an
unusually interesting announcement Of q
similar character made about "a year ago
respecting their State. which was that
President Roosevelt, fascinated by the
story Of Texas struggle for independence
from Mexico, had declared that as soon
as he is released from the White House
he intends 10 devote himself 10 writing
a history of the Lone Star State. Several
members of the Texas contingent EXPRESS
displeasure az this announcement They
say that no adequate history Of Texas
has yet been written. and they fear that
/ II the President should undertake the
task the great prestige of his name would
deter other and probably more sympa-
lletic. If not capable, historians from
doing so. Several s0-CaIied histories Of
Texas are eXtant but Texans in Wash
ington declare that none OF them covers
in sequence. and with proper regard Tor
proportion and perspective. the real story
Of their state. They fear that the Presi-
dent would be guided too much in his
work by the volumes Of others who have
attempted 10 write q Texas history. and
thus for a long time would set back the
accomplishment Gf a task all loyal Texans
want 90 see thoroughly done.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23

Caruso has had his salary doubled. and.
of course, be viii not expect 10 get of
with SO fine next time
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23

This is certainly the day Of precedent
breaking. The governors Of North and
South Carolina are both teetotalers.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23

Mr.. Bryan is going 70 visit Vermont
Now, what i'm the world has that Vermont
Democrat been up to?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23

The only possible way for Mr. Harry
Lehr's apologists to prove that he didn't
make a monkey of himself in Berlin is 10
demonstrate positively that he did not
get the chance.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23

Cuban rcvOlutionists are threatening the
United States, which is a fairly safe thing
TO do.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23

The New York yellows are showing
great restraint i'm allowing two whole
days TO pass without serious row and
split-up among Thdws counsel
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23

Mr.. Bryan has attacked John d. Rookie
feller's gift to the educational board. The
only way Ar. Rockefeller can ever make
up with Mr.. Bryan is by purchasing the
railroads and presenting them To the gov
eminent
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23

Roger SUllivan's participation In the
Chicago mayoraity campaign is sure 10
ALLEVIATE the Bryan voters.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23

Now that the Presidential boom for
Hoke Smith has really and truly been
launched. it looks as if it were all over
but the shouting.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23

4 German scientist says that water viii
be worth u cents drink 800 years from
now. You couldn't make q Kentuckian
believe that such "a thing viii come to
pass ia million years.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23

'Bonnets and Bibles do not go to-
gether says Chicago minister. Evil
IDENTIFY he never saw am Easter parade.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23

Gov Nardamau is said TO quote poetry
by the hour 1t is all right 20 fight Var
damau. and fight him hard, but that is
distinctly a blow below the belt
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23

There is a drug store in Russia 2.3 Years
old. Think of the postage stamps that
have been sold there,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23

,yv. Hughes turned down Presidential
recommendation few days since in true
Eouseyoltiau fashion.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY %. 1901
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23

Joakley-Quear thing about that tall
nan over there. All his intimate friends
,all him short
Poakley-Ah, just for "a joke. / suppose.
JOakley-No. because IhaIs hi. uame-
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23

In all the leading hotels Of washington
last evening. especially the uptown hos
telries the Hobbies were crowded with
people who were waiting u see if they
could get rooms. It IS no exaggerat0n %
say that transient visitors to the city
"ere turned away by the hundreds. owing
10 the inability OF the hotels 10 care for
such an unexpected influx Of guests They
came from almost every quarter of the
land, New York furnishing the largest
quota, and most came purely sn a holt
day trip 10 spend the weeks end at the
Capital
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23

The Washington Herald is dsliUered by
ccrrier ia the District Of Columbia and at
IIerdHdriG, Va, at 50 cents per month,
dailB aud Sunday, or at p cents per
month iDith0ut the Sunday issue.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-23

Mr.. J. g. Milner, United States consul
at Calais. France. is at the Dewey. He
has occupied that position fer the past
ten years, and is accounted one of the
best men in the service. Mr Miners
former home was iu Indiana.
The Monte Vista journal., 1907-11-16
HOUSEHOLD HINTS.

Hang 4 child's blackboard In the
kitchen with a piece OF chalk at.
tached. 1t is more convenient than
pencil and paper and not 30 easily
lost.
1t will be economy to finish your
sheets with the same width hem at
each end. BY so doing they can be
used either side up. and gain much
wear.
Cold water. tablespoonful OF am.
monia and soap will remove machine
grease when other means would not
answer on account of colors running.
II few drops OF glycerin be added
to the starch for linens. It will be
found that the iron will not stick and
that the linens will have beautiful
gloss after they are ironed.
Use clean brick to stand the iron
on when ironing instead OF the usual
ironing stand. II has no holes under.
meath to admit the air and the irons
viii retain their heat much longer.
New shoes often do not take q good
polish. They will do so II they are
rubbed over with cut lemon before
they are BACKED. A cut raw potato
may be used instead OF the lemon II
the latter is not to bc had.
The Monte Vista journal., 1907-11-16
Restricted Choice.

THE people and the corporations"
said Senator La Toilette the other
day. remind me Of a woman and her
little boy. There was a very large
chicken and a very small duck on the
table and the woman, pausing with
the carving knife raised. said: Johnny.
which will you take. chicken or duck?'
Duck. piped Johnny. But the mother
shook her head. No. Johnny she said
In firm. yet kindly voice. you can't
have duck. my dear. Take your
choice. darling. take your choice. but
you can't have duck"
The Monte Vista journal., 1907-11-16
TO REhovATE THE CARPET.
Treatment That Will Make II Almost
Like New.

Many perfectly good carpet be-
comes shabby and worn-looking with
out being actually old. The figures lose
their brightness and the grain is
rough and unkempt looking. Here Is
a simple process by which the carpet
or rug will once more look present
able. and as good as new. 1t Is vouch-
ed for by contemporary.
Cut an ounce of yellow soap into
squares. and with them make a lather
with pint of clear boiling water. Add
to this lather a quart of hot water and
an ounce of boraX. Place the mixture
on the range. and bring TIE entire
preparation to boil. Remove it. set
II to cool. and when quite cold add one
ounce each of alcohol and ammonia
and half an ounce of glycerin.
Wipe over only small portion Of
the carpet at n time, and rub visor-
ously with Il clean flannel (Which
should he repeatedly turned as it be.
comes soiled) dipped into the mix.
ture, until finally al! the spots are re-
moved and the color revived
The result will be surprising. for
the change and improvement are re-
markable.
The Monte Vista journal., 1907-11-16
sAsVs ECZEMA GREW WORSE.
Hospitals and Doctors Could Not Re.
lieve Aln-eut cutieura Remedies
Speedy, Permanent Cure.

Eczema appeared when our baby
was three months old. We applied to
several doctors and hospitals. each OF
which gave US something different
every time. but nothing brought relief.
At last, one Of our friends recommend
ed to us Cuticura Soap and Cuticura
Ointment. A few days afterwards i'm
provement could be noted. Since then
We have used nothing but Cuticura
Soap and Cuticura Ointment. and now
the baby Is six months old and Is quite
cured. All that We used was one cake
Of Cuticura SOAP and two boxes Cuti-
cura Ointment. costing in all $l.?5. c.
F. Kara. 343 East 65th Street, New
York. March 30, 1906"
The Monte Vista journal., 1907-11-16
To carame, q Mold,

Put in a mold six tablespoonfuis
OF graduated sugar with enough va.
ter to moisten II. Set the mold ON
the stove: the sugar will melt and
brown. Meanwhile. with . fork or
spoon. keep constantly stirring
When 1t becomes q golden brown
keep on the Are and turn the mold
over on all Its sides. allowing the
sugEr to spread and even helping
II with tho fork or spoon. When the
mold II well covered with the car.
amcl then pour In the mixture.
The Monte Vista journal., 1907-11-16

Believers In woman suffrage and the
most scornful disbelievers will unite,
unless they were born without humor.
in enjoying social comedy presented
by n recent election In n small town,
says Youths Companion. Two WON.
en- were nominated to succeed their
husbands MS members OF the school
committee. Some citizens. who do
not favor women on the board. nomi.
mated the husbands for reelection. The
excitement walked up many men who
had not voted on school questions for
Years. and with pathetic loyalty to
their sex. they swelled the vote for
the husbands to overwhelming defeat
Of the wives.
The Monte Vista journal., 1907-11-16

There Is "A growing disposition to
deal more fairly with the Jews In Rus.
sin. Notwithstanding the anti Semitic
feeling that sometimes finds an Quite,
In violence and bloodshed. The min.
iHtry OF education has enacted a law
removing the restrictions which hith.
crto prevented more than n small per.
centage Of Jews entering the higher
schools OF learning In the empire. To
those familiar with usage In lands
where Jews have equal rights with
others this seems u slight concession.
but II really is u big change In Rus.
sian policy. 7
The Monte Vista journal., 1907-11-16
Nieden Pickle.

Thrce dozen large green cucumbers
t,inus tho xeeds). eight large white
onions. one.hnif pint salt. two.thirds
cup Of white mustard seed. one.iourth
cup Of ground white pepper: chop the
cucumbcrs and tho onions. and mix
we'll tocether with the salt. Put 70
drain over night In sieve or colandsr.
In the morning measure the water
that has drained OF and got aside. MIX
In the mustard seed and pepper, and
add - much good vipcgar - tho va.
ter that wns drained. Pack tbs Pickle
II Aasoa lara
The Monte Vista journal., 1907-11-16
The Peaceful Cow.

She was even more afraid Of cows
than most girls. 20 WHOM she spied .
placid animal recumLsat under .
tree. peacefully chewing its cud. she
at frst refused TO 60 through the pas
ture At all. Her husband Gained her
fears to some extent. and they started
by. when the COW slowly commenced
to get up. hind legs hrst. As they al
ways do. At this the little lady
shrieked with terror. and said:
"Oh. Bob. hurry. hurry. he 10 getting
ready 70 spring At us!"-Harper's
Magazine.
The Monte Vista journal., 1907-11-16
HERE'S A NEW DEFINITION.
And Many There Are Will Say Senator
Plat Was Right.

A rather cynical joke has been re-
Gently credited TO Senator Plat.
The senator. on his last visit to the
Manhattan Beach hotel. allowed a
pretty little girl, western million
aires daughter, to be presented to
him.
The little girl, in the course Of one
Of her many chats with the aged
statesman. said:
Tell me. won't you. senator, what
political economy ISL"
Political economy. my dear child"
Senator Plat is said to have replied,
lis the art of never buying more
votes than you actually need"
The Monte Vista journal., 1907-11-16
Kentucky Corn euddina.

Take one can OF sugar corn. q half
pint OF fresh milk. half pint Of
cream. the yolks Of three eggs we'll
beaten. u lump OF butter size of an
egg and season to taste with salt and
pepper. Add little sugar. and beat
tho three whites to Etify froth and
fold In gently Bake In q slow oven
about ?5 or 30 minutes. Serve In
same dish In which II Is baked.
The Monte Vista journal., 1907-11-16
PLEASANT SUMMER.
alsh. Fess shs Gauss.

A Wis. woman says:
II was run down and weak. troubled
with nervousness and headache for the
last six years. The least excitement
would mako me nervous and cause
severe headache.
This summer ] have been eating
0rapc.Nuts regularly and feel bstter
than for the elk past years.
II am not troub)ed with headache
and nervousness. anl weigh more thaA
I ever have before II ny nfs. gained
8 lbs. In one week"
Name givsa ~ rootaa ca, BateJe
Creek. Mich. neaA ~ book. Tho
Road 10 wsllvllse," n pkgs.
sThere's Q noo0oo"
The Monte Vista journal., 1907-11-16

The extraordinary popularity of fine
white goods this summer makes the
choice of Starch matter OF great I'm
portance. Defiance Starch. being free
from all Injurious chemicals. Is the
only one which is safe to use on fine
FABRICS. Its great strength as stiffener
makes half the usual quantity of Starch
necessary, with the result OF perfect
finish, equal to that when the goods
were new.
The Monte Vista journal., 1907-11-16

The will of Henry J. Dryer provid.
ing that no grandchild who uses to-
bacco or intoNicants or frequents sa.
looms before reaching the age OF thir.
~. shall inherit any OF the property
Is surely safe and sane document.
II man reaches that age without
having formed bad habits II is almost
a certainty that he never will.