The Washington herald., 1907-12-08


eminenee and his friend lift The
cardinal would then carefully explain
/ that his friend was stranger and he
was showing him the sights
/ Sir Horace Piunkett confded afterward
! that DE had not walked ten miles con
( secutively ia as many years. and he was
/ 50 lame tiy next day that he could not
/ keep an engagement with a party OF
/ SCIENTISTS az Columbia University. IN New
York.
! SENATOR Clay. Of Georgia, is looked upon
as one OF the best recOnteurs in the upper
house Of Congress Ia negro dialect
stories he is inlmitable. This is his latest:
! When Judge David Irwin was holding
court in Marietta, Ca. negro was
/ brought before him for smashing the
+ nose OF a companion while the two were
] engaged in "a supposedly friendly game
/ of cards There were a dozen witnesses
who testified that there was no provoca-
| ton whatever. bat that the prisoner had
( suddenly leaned over the table and
/ smashed the nose OF the mar opposite.
nearly knocking that organ out OF place.
/ The belligcrent was convicted Of as
/ sault and battery ard sentenced 60 six
! months Imprisonment. The man had in
| the past borne a good reputation and
+ Judge Irwin had known him for years.
and besides. the judge VAS noted for his
/ Clemency 20 first offenders So he asked
I the prisorer, when the case came before
I MIN for review, why he had acted in
such a. manner.
You must have had some reason" he
said Now tel me all about Il, just be-
| tween ourselves"
/ Deed ] did babe some reason jedge:
deed did, the negro blurted out ledge
did YOU e6er Play sebea-up2"
/ The stern dispenser Of justice declined
20 answer the question Whether / play
seven-up or NOT has nothing 10 do with
the case he said
But deed il hab, jedgc; It hab heaps
( 20 do VIII d." tho negro insisted. FOR
Lessen You can play seben-uD you CANT
understand how this yere happened. You
see jedge. me and that Niger 0ber OAR
was playi1' and I dole the kairds and 7
( turn up &c nine spot Oh spades. and 7
ha0 In my han the jack and the ten ard
the deuce Ee beg and I gib I'm one.
an den what you think dat Niger ober
dar done2 He lead de ace OBJ spades. an
] put on my deuce. Den what You mink
dat Niger ober oar dCneg He lead de
king Oh spades. and I give him Il hard
! look bat ! put on my ten. Den what you
( think that Onery. low-down. sneakin'
Niger done. jedge2 He laid de queen OBJ
/ spades. ] put on my jack and den I
just lean ober an smash he's nose clean
often he's face"
When order was restored. the judge
sOlemuly revoked the previous sentence.
] think that if the defendant pays one
dollar. he said, All the requirements OF
justice which the sovereign State Of Geor-
sia demands VIII De bountifully satisfied"
w Murray Crane. sometime governor
Of Massachusetts and at present repre-
senting that ancient commonwealth in
the Senate. has been grieved 20 discover
that the natives Of The National Capital
are not So familiar with the life and ac-
c0mpiishments Of Daniel Webster as he
would ike 90 have them. When NJ
Crane SIT I'D his office gods. the decora-
tons ~ his desk included fine un-
touched photograph Of the great ante
bellum statesman II Is q rare picture.
a copy Of the last photograph for which
the iliustrioUs patriot posed and tie
lMassachusetts man would not part with
80 for money Every visitor remarked
the picture and asked questions and
AIr. Crane rejoiced that in bringing his
pet relic TO Washington he had added
much 20 the sum Of knowledge.
one morning he was very busy. and one
or his visitors. 2 Senator from "a busting
western city. was compelled 20 wait &
page came In and while D. also stood
waiting DE looked long and earnestly AT
the great man. p whom Oliver Wendell
Z Holmes SAID. NO man was ever as wise
as Daniel Webster looked
-Irning around. 8Ir Crane noted tie
interested sac OF the urchin. and being
a genial man. used % dealing with BOYS.
De asked. DO YOU Ike that picture. and
what DO you thing about it2~
Il was thinking. answered the boy.
that I would like 10 know who Il is.
! / cant tell whether he's q very smart
man or a very bad man"
Before Mr.. Crane could reply. his broth
ier senator broke into loud guffaw
/ sonny. he explained. that is as YOU
have been taught 70 look az things. Some
I folks would call that a very bad man.
especially Temperance people who had
seen him in Rip. and others think Re
was the best of his noble profession in
this or any other generation I say. Crane.
/ looking AT il well. its the best picture
OF Joe jefferson ever saw Where did
YOU get ito"
Senator Cullom. Of Illinois. is firm
believer in not tampering Ni-h a small
boy or putting important questions. He
SAYS that boys Invariably come out sew
| eraI laps ahead Near by the thorough
| fare where the venerable chairman Of
! the Foreign Relations Committee makes
his home at the National Capital runs
a line Of ancient and delapidated
coaches. called berdlcs. Not long ago
Che Senator and friend from Illinois
( climbed aboard. secured an end seat.
and went ambling toward home They
noticed small boy hanging on the omen
door and squeezing behind it, in about
a half inch Of space, u the peril Of his
life and limb
Get in" said the Senator. moving up
1 don't want 10 get IN replied the
boy
What do YOU want then?" asked the
Senator, testify do you want 10 break
your neck with your nonsenseT'
1 cob. no. nut in Mr.. CuIloms friend.
| ''He only wants 10 steal ride rs
lots more fun stealing ride than pay
ing for one, is it not2'
You seem 10 know a heap about g."
said the boy. eyeing both men with dis
| favor. but If / was as old as you I'd
/ De ashamed 10 steal a ride. I'd pay my
way like a gentleman"
TESTING TIE REPRESENTATIVES.