The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-08
THE HOTEL CLERK
 ON HOLIDAY PROSPECTS
BY IRWIN s. COBB.

1 engine house, so he can come sliding
 down when the Voice begins to sibu- 1 late across the rolling Nebraska' 1 prairies. There's no need for him
 to leave call with the night clerk; | he's a light sleeper and the merest whisper will arouse him. He'll De
 out with his slickers and rubber boots
 on before the first alarm goes in.
 'If for any reason the Voice should l be delayed he can fix that too. He's
 versatile man, Bryan is. He'll double 1 Voice.
 Hell just step in the wings for
 minute. (Noise without.) One of the
 lesser members of the cast, say q
 member of the national committee, is
 temporarily occupying the stage. He
 looks off R. I. U. Whats that?' i says the minor performer, Can it be
 the cry of the angry mob? No. no, praise heavens, 'tis the Voice of 1 Destiny calling upon our beloved
 leader to gird on his white lawn tie
 and go forth to do battle against
 the common foe Then the minor
 performer runs off and MT. Bryan
 comes back on and says 'Hark, the :, call of me party! Iris well. I will answer it. Cincinnatus never yet l laid down on this job
 And he shucks off his overalls and l climbs into his black frock coat with l the two buttons in the middle of the l back and has his hair all swept back from his forehead in the modified mar 1 eel design known among hair dressers | as the Statesman's Roach, before you | have time to say Jack Robinson or l Jack Folk or any common word like i that.
 "Yes, Larry, at this time MT Bryan i is out wonder in Lincoln feeling in
 every way pleased with the outlook
 He's wearing that familiar and be- loved smile of his that runs all the way round and hooks at the back | like clergyman's collar He knows what he's going to find on the tree Christmas morning. He knows because he's already hung it there and he's sitting up nights to see that no Swede
 named Johnson from Minnesota or
 anybody from Texas or Tennessee gets
 chance to swipe it.
 MT. Bryan came out in an article
 in his paper a few days ago and told all about the situation. You might have thought he was writing about himself, but he wasn't His topic was the situation. l quote him from the immortal document:
 The enemy are scattered and dis : organized says Mir. Bryan. As shown by the late election returns they're scattered all over the country. In the southwest they're badly disorganized. Many of the Rough Riders have sons growing up for whom no federal jobs have as yet been provided. There have been postoffice fights in many of the cities. Some of the republicans are openly for Roosevelt for third term. Some of them are for Roose. welt. but no so openly-I refer to the Taft following. Some of them are for Fairbanks-Mr. Fairbanks and two close friend of the Fairbanks fam fly living in Indianapolis.
 Whereas, on the other hand the democratic party is compact and solidified mass, located just south of Kentucky. I never recall time when the democrats were so solidified. The republicans quarrel among themselves over this issue or that, but do you hear us quarreling over any issues? You do not. one reason being that we haven't any yet. But do not be dis tressed, my countrymen. I will from time to time think up issues for you. l always have.
 Tt would be useless for me to deny that our party has made mistakes in the past. We committed a very grave mistake in the campaign of 1904, it's name being Park-Alfred Parker or Abel Parker or some such person. However, that is of no moment feel justified in saying that as long as I keep my health-and vocal powers our party will never again fall into similar error. Besides I have a fine boy growing up and Lincoln is rapidly becoming accustomed to hay ing standard bearer regularly in it's midst" ro n
 Did he say all that?" asked the House Detective.
 He said more than that" continued the Hotel Clerk He said 1t was frightful thing that people would ad-
 vocate third term for President. Mind you he didn't say third race
 but third term.
 q wonder what the main issue will
 be next year." asked the House De- tective.
 q don't know vet" said the Hotel Clerk. Out it won't be hard to find ont. All that is needed in the wsv of an iScua will ha comethipp that