davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

uplifts the quality of those that do exist,
1t is also wrong. because 1t prompts the
saloon keeper 70 take It out of the public
in the form OF cheaper stock; or IL takes
more money from the pockets Of the
drinker. thereby depriving the children
and home of their rlghtful due. by reason
Of the increased cost, ct eetera, ad in
hnitum. And there you are Take your
Bible and find a dozen passages to con
denim the drinker. and he viii cite you
to the passage which admonishes man to
take a little wine for his stomach's sake.
Therefore, let the Sun shine as Of
yore-eontent and happy. We think it is
right about capital punishment being a
relic Of barbarism. though we do not know
that man himself is yet sufficiently re-
moved from barbarism safely to relegate
it 10 the rear forevermore. Whatever
is for the best will come in time, but il
win come as silently ana as surely as the
world grows better and better. For this
reason, and for no other
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29
Please Pass the Grape Fruit.

From the Norfolk Landmark.
The Landmark cordially welcomes The
Washington Herald TO the Round Table
al which this paper has the honor 10 be-
the host. The editorial reproduced else
where stamps The Herald as appreciative
of the humJnities. and constitutes model
entrance examination. Our Washington
contemporary only mistake is Its as.
sumption that a Virginia editor doesn't
have troubles. At the Round Table they
are furgotten-thats ali. Come in, ana
nave some srape fruit
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

Everybody knows about 26 Broadway,
New York. II is the headquarters of the
trust-the seventy-armed octopus-Mr.
Rockefeller's philanthropic enterprise, 1t
may be imagined. therefore, with what
pain We heard that Senator Bailey, Of
Texas, had been lured into this den of
infamy, with some dire and Hateful pur-
pose known only 20 conjecture. His
enemies tried to make use Of the incident
to encompass his defeat. but we are
happy TO say without success For they
misconceived and misrepresented the
whole affair. the truth concerning which
gives the Texas Senator new claims upon
the gratitude OF a frustrating c0mmu-
nifty.
We now learn that on the memorable
occasion Of his visit 10 % Broadway the
unsuspecting Bailey was for the first time
made acquainted with the fact that he
had been deceived-grossly deceived-into
accepting the money OF the trust, the
tainted and abhorrent cash of the octopus.
1t was revelation calculated to stir the
most callous heart Mr.. Baileys indigna-
ton, we are informed, rose TO an extaor-
[ NtAEcll llElbliA- lAt NtltE anu iilNlt Nf-
nounced the whole Standard Oil crowd.
He told Archbold and the rest of the
tainted money grabbers that they ought
all to be in the penitentiary, and that
he would help put them there. With that
he departed, We assume, in high dudgeon.
He came forth from the haunts Of the octo-
pus unscathed and unsullied. Like a
modern Pilgrim, panoplied in righteous
ness, he found the monsters infesting his
way harmless and helpless.
We are not surprised that the octopus,
as the superheated wires from Texas in
form us, should have sought to bring
about his downfall and so avert the
threatened penitentiary The damnable
conspiracy has failed as it should. MI
Bailey has been amply and sufficiently
indicated. Yet some % our unfeeling con-
/ temporaries are saying that he is out OF
the running as a Presidential candidate.
We are confident he could sweep the
country as the only man who has yet de-
fed the octopus in its lair and come forth
with honor bright and reputation un-
furnished
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
A POOR TRADE.

The bootjack-maker trade is dull,
And very nearly dead;
The chimney-sweep must have pull
To earn his daily bread
But little earns the cats meat man
a pdltry wage is his;
But anything is better than
The doggOne poetry biz.
The pieman's trade is not so brisk,
DiSgruntled is his screech.
And he assumes q deal Of risk
Who sets up as a leech.
Sad tales will tell the coughdrop clan
in case you care to quiz;
But anything is better than
The d0ggone poetry biz.
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29
Our Costly White Elephant

From the Mex York Times
True enough, &c our administratio ton of
the Philippines has convinced US of the
present unftness of the Filipinos for gov
erning themselves. il has convinced all
mankind of our unitress 10 govern them.
They are not at ali an asset They are
altogether n liability.
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29
More Proposed Railroad Legislation.

The Interstate Commerce Commission
has put up 10 Congress a few more
problems in railroad regulation growing
out Of its investigation into the freight
methods of the soft-coai carriers. The
commission found that these carriers were
more or less interested in coal operations
along their lines, and that favoritism in
the distribution Of cars followed as q
necessary consequence. so that small cper-
ators were unable TO make or fulfill con-
tracts by reason Of the UnwiHingness of
the railroads TO furnish the requisite sup
ply Of ears. It was the policy Of one Of
the principal carriers. as admitted by one
of its officers, to discourage the opening
of independent mines. so as to secure to
the coal company in which it held stock
"a virtual monopoly of transportation IA
cilities on it's lines
As a remedy for this sort of flvoritism
the commission recommends drastic reg
ulations concerning the distribution Of
ears. the publicity Of the system of dis
jrihution. the abolition of individual or
private ears and prohibition of the own
ership by carriers engaged in interstate
commerce Of coal properties or of stock in
coal companies. except for the purpose of
supplying coal for their own use The
law now forbids interstate carriers TO
transport commodities which they are en-
gagged in manufacturing or producing. but
the commission would go still further and
forbid the ownership by railway corpora
lions of productive enterprises. Whether
Congress may do this under the interstate
clause of the Constitution is a debatab bic
question, which was fully considered in
the Senate when the present legislation
was adopted. It was then contended that
Congress had no power to prohibit rail-
way ownership and control of productive
enterprises within the States, its power
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29
Nhnt TiIImnn snid

From the Boston Herald
1t seems that what Tillman really SAID
was:
The Senator from Mass. the Land Of The
Sacred Cod,
Where the Adamses vote for Douglas and
the Lodges walk with God
The telegraph omitted to put it in the
form of poetry. which. however. was not
wholly inexcusable
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29
ALTERNATING CURRENTS.
His Brilliant Idea.

tlom the chicago Record Herald.
His Brilliant Idea.
Why is it," sine asked shortly after
the wedding, that you don't care 20 skate
any more? You were so fond OF it before
We We're married"
Il wasn't fond of It, my dear To tell
you the truth. ! made martyr Of my
self for your sake. 1 knew you enjoyed
it so that / felt IS II had To-
Thought I enjoyed it? Heavens ! was
la martyr zoo. / thought il 1 didut go
and be tortured you'd take some other
girl. and
Say, Fanny, I believe it would Doe a
me thing If every girl and boy could be
locked up the minute they became en-
gagged and kept behind bars till the day Of
their marriage
4 Modern Instance.
But can you promise to support my
daughter ia the style 10 which she has
been accustomed"
No, sir intend 20 cut Off her cigar
cites the minute she becomes my wife"
Merely His Guess
Haven't you anything smaller" asked
the druggist when the customer handed
him "a 500 bin.
Yes. but don't believe you'd want it,
why nOt2
It's "a piece Of COurtplaster that ] got
ia q barber shop, and have been using aIi
morning.
The Weather.
Sometime IT'S calm and sometimes rough.
But let % slime er rain
ABOUT 20 people taik enough
To make the weather vauc
-PrtsbHs Poss.
It's Fain about ifs shapo-FQg're right
just take my quiet tip
Open the doc. most any H.rl-
And see the weather strip.
-CleEelsud Leader
50 many sarhs DO has, iu fact
IT. grade from boz t1 cold.
The Weather E1rgau must PEE packed
As fun 10 can hold.
Boston Transcript
IT'S meet that We each change should greet
Without vain muttsrings,
We can't. however. buy our meat
With any change il brings
For the Sake of Her Reputation.
why" asked her mother. do you al
ways play them classical tunes when we
have company"
SO that if happen now and then 20 nix
the wrong key they'll never know The dII-
ference.
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29
One Thing We Could Try.

From the Savannah News.
OF course we want to do our own
ocean carving trade if We can. and the
surest way to test the question as to
whether we can or not is to amend our
navigation laws SO that foreign-built
vessels can be owned In this country AID
can carry the American flag. notwith-
standing the fact that they may carry
crews composed of foreigners.
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29
Whitevash Enough for Am.

From the Philadelphia Record
You can't get the Colorado Republicans
to investigate themselves. They know
too much They not only defeated a reso-
luton to investigate Mir. Guggenheim .
campaign for the Senatorship, hut ;hey
expunged from the records the fact that
such resolution was offered. Everybody
IS Nimdicnted
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29
An InnIIennbIe Right.

From the Concord n. H. Monitor.
Tie English press is inclined to con
denim Swettenham's language but to jus
tify his acts, on the ground that he was
within his rights. though not tactful in
asserting them. This is good enough -ea-
soning. for it is evident that a man mas :.
right to make an ass Of himself. if he
choose.
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

South Carolina is about to abolish the
dispensary system. says an Indiana con-
temporary. South Carolina simply pro
poses 10 substitute "a local option system
for the present general State system.
Such liquor as is sold, if the new laws
are adopted, viii still be sold through "a
dispensary, but it will be under local and
not State control: each county having the
right to say for itself whether it shall be
sold I'm any event
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

THE insanity dodge has some use, after
all. II is about 10 be employed for the
purpose of preventing the crown prince
of Servia from succeeding his father
on The throne. says the Cleveland
Leader. It is not the first time the in
sanity dodge has been employed 70 save
a mans life.
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29
None Now.

People used to sign themselves 'Your
don't you think"
Not IN It's day There were obedient
servants IN those times"
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29
A Question of Wind.

From the Louisville CourosJuurn-L
The Washington HeraIds cartoonist
pictures Mr. Foraker as Don Quixotc.
But Ri. Foraker has charged with the
w;ndmills. not at them
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

Servant lady, somewhat green,
Lit the FIRE with gasoline;
Got blaze that burned all day
Seems It sometimes works that way.
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29
Starting Right.

I'VE must have rules in cur household,
Reginald Every household should have
it's rules
An right Marquis OF Queensberry viii
suit me-"
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29
noesn.t YAM the 1Ioney.

B9ernG ~ Huf Ahe Money
Tie Hon. Ernest Pollard. aged thirty
eight. and "a member % the House from
Nehawku. Cass County. Ncbr.. has had
forced upon him about 81 500 Of the public
funds. wrung from the people through
taxation. which be is unable to return To
the Treasury Of the United States. He
was elected 90 Congress in July. 1905. 20
succeed the Hon. z. J. BmkeJt. now the
youngest member Of the Senate The
district was mrepresented for some time
after Mr. Burketts promotion TO the Sen
ate. and the salary thus accumulated was
sent 90 AR Pollard after his election hy
'the Sergeaut-at-Arms of the House.
When the discovery was made by the
hardy suffragaus Of the First Nebraska
district that Mir Pollard had received
from the government money which be-
had not earned as member OF Congress
"a hue and cry was raised against him.
and the opposition thought that az last
an issue had been found on which the
Democrats would once more reclaim the
district Mr. Pollard promptly returned
the unearned increment 90 the proper au-
thOrity OF the House. bat that official sent
il back TO him with curt note that the
money had been turned over 20 him and
he had credited it 10 the First district of
Nebraska. There was no fund into which
the money could be turned by the House
Serge5nt-at-Arms. and he thus forced il
upon the statesman from NehaWka.
In order TO prevent this sort Of thing in
future Mr. Pollard has introduced bin
that hereafter there shall be no accumu-
lation of salary unearned by the people S
lawmakers. and be IS exertinE himself
nightly 60 push his bill through at this
session But even the passage of his
bin would not relieve either the con.
/ science or the bank account Of Mr. Pol
{ lard. and that is the feature which is
row distressing him. for the Constitution
of the United States inhibits ex post factc
/ laws
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

The reason Admiral Evans has had
nothing to say concerning the SWetten-
ham incident is because it WAS not an
incident calling for his special line OF
vocal expression
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29
The Brute,

Il never cared 10 save a cent before ]
was married"
And since?"
y never had chance"
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29
Couldn't stand 1t.

"Grabail is dead OF broken heart"
Wasn't his music hall A success
Too much of a success. They had to
turn money away AT every performance.
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29
Chicngo's Doing Il.

Troa the Chic,sl Pest.
But the canal will be dug, 5ust the same.
Chief Engineer stevens is the real thing
"a Chicago man.
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

Mr. Tillman has resolved not 10 be
funny" any more while addressing the
Senate. That is one New Years resolu-
ton that will be kept.
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29
Georgia GaIIantry.

From the Atlanta Georgian
The French hello girls" answer 70 calls
u enconte" Il Hsten) They probably DO
to your private conversations.
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29
A slight Mistake.

Hello, Jinks, Back from Europe. hey:
You look like another man."
Il am. My name Is Smithers."
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

Look up. not down." says the Kansas
City Journal Not when the ice is half an
inch thick on the sidewalk. unless you
want to slip up and fall down.
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

A statistician has figured it out that
Col Bryan's cora crop. If laid in a
straight line, ear by ear. would reach
from Lincoln 10 washington. We are not
informed as 10 the Identity OF the Stats
tician. but from the picturesque way in
which he expresses his findings we sus-
pect that il is Mr.. Bryan himself.
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

They are having a hard time finding
people for jury service in the Thaw case
who have not formed and expressed an
opinion concerning it, though doubtless
they would be able % find plenty who
have formed an opinion but have too
much deCency and self-respect to express
it fully.
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

Emperor William seems to be his own
lid-sitter.
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

New York wisely determined to dis
pose Of the Thaw trial, the blizzard, and
the opera "SaIome" ut one and the same
time.
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

out in Michigan the legislators are talk
ing OF passing bin compelling the sa-
looms 10 furnish free drinks 70 the Soions
Give them back their passes
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

We respectfully cali the attention Of
the anti-Roosevelt contingent to the fact
that Emperor William discharged the
entire Reichstag without honor; and just
see what The people did about it,
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

Engiand's SwetteHham and our Bacon
both seem 10 have thrown the fat i'm the
fire
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

Mr. Wallace might get some consolation
Oy twisting the thing around 10 this angie.
II upset them terribly when De quit the
Joo. but they seem 10 have given up Mr..
SHonts with very few pangs.
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

The recent earthquakes are said 20 have
dried up several Texas oil wells They
seem utterly To have failed at drying up
some Of her vociferouS statesmen, how
ever
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

One Of the Middle Western States boasts
an independent railroad the construction
OF which was commenced IN 1874 and
which has just been completed Evidently
Mr. Hartman overlooked il. or it would
have seen its finish long ago.
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

Dowie says. "The sheriff simply got
hold Of Zion City" However, this is not
tie first time the sheriff has been abused
in the discharge Of his duty.
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

Senator Bailey comes back TO Washing
ton, but his electric-hghted halo seems Ia
have been short-CirCuited
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

The legislature Of Colorado has passed
an anti-cartoon law. It is waste of
good material to cartoon Colorado. any
how. The thing is bad enough as il
stands
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

What viii paradise be. compared Ia
Milwaukee asks the Milwaukee Free
Press. Very much ashamed OF its press
agent. no doubt
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29
SCOTT c BONE. Editor
Telephone Main $500. private Branch E1eh.nfs.)

The Washington Herald is delivered by
carrier in the District of Columbia and at
Alexandria, Va, at 30 cents per month,
daily and Sunday, or at . cents per
month without the Sunday issue.
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

"Wollygaloop. galoop; wollygaIoop. ga
lee, galoop. Yee-yip-yee-yow," No. that
isn't Folapuk. u IS simply the veil Of the
Montana Society.
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

Il is said 70 be possible for 1000 mi
crobes to occupy the space on single pin
point. With the possible exception Of ex-
Senator Chandler. the microbe seems able
to stir up more trouble than anything
else on earth.
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

The weather department thinks II will
soon be- able TO predict the weather a
year IN advance. WHAT'S the matter with
dnneXing the Rev Ira Hicks To the de-
partment, and doing il now2
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

Mr. Wallace is thought to be diligently
studying the mysterious process by which
Dir. Shonts Lutherburbaul;ed lemon into
rose
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

AN of our hams have been cured by
the osteopathic treatment" advertisas 4
grocer That's rather rubbing fl IN on
the packing-hOuse fellows.
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

Strange that the slang phrase cog hap
pened 10 be invented before Swettenham's
arrival upon the scene
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

The Oklahoma Post has an editorial on
Journalists made to order. Probably
the experimentation kind
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

Is truth fXed2' asks the Indianapolis
Star Well. the jury. whose business it
is 10 establish the truth. sometimes is
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

The Panama Canal seems to need a
chief engineer warranted to stay put
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

The Marlborough trial marriage has
been brought to "a conclusion, and the
verdict condemns the duchess 10 pay a
hne Of 100000 per year 70 the duke.
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

When ] was in washington a few
months ago, said Mr. J. W Hyde, a
successful lumberman of Jacksonville,
Fla. at the Raleigh. I told a Washing
ton Herald reporter, as one who had
been long time accustomed to handling
negro laborers that regarded them as
the best workers in the world. I said
then, and now repeat. that I would not
give one black man in the lumber camps
of the South for three Italians or three
of any other foreigners Well, TO my
establishment this little talk of mine was
copied i'm nearly every newspaper in the
South, and q good many in the North.
got ut least fifty letters about It from
people I had never heard Of, most Of them
agreeing with me and only one taking
sharp dissent. This last said he favored
deporting the negroes, and took up
fourteen pages of letter paper giving
reasons for his theory.
1T is too idle to talk ab0ut-this policy
Of deportation. The negroes are here
and they are going to stay. mostly in the
South. where they are needed. We can't
get along without them. and for one
I don't want 20 try. If Senator Tillman
viii give the country "a rest-let up on
his negrophobia-Jhe so-called race prob
lem viii settle itself
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

A Kentucky man served twenty-seven
months too long in the penitentiary be-
cause of the oversight OF the trial judge
The court is very sorry. indeed, of course.
and really hopes it will not happen again.
That viii be about all,
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

Miss Blsnch Walsh has invented a
punctureless automobile tire. What we
really need, however, is "a bifless tire.
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

The Sultan Of Morocco has purchased
a new automobile. Going after old
Raisouli with "a vengeance. at last
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

A Kansas City paper claims that the
missing link has been found in that
city He doubtless felt perfectly at
home.
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

Now that the label tells the truth. Won
either have TO buy the 25-cent brand. in
stead Of the Decent brand. or else eat the
contents Of the can in fear and trembling.
Man never knows when he has a good
thing.
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

If Harry Thaw we're drawing royalty
on newspaper cuts, the question of our
first American millionaire would speedily
be solved
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

why" asked her mother. do you al
ways play them classical tunes when we
have company
SO that IF happen now and then 20 nix
the wrong key they'll never know the dr.
ference"
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

Entered as second-class matter. October
g. 1906. a the post-ofiice at Washington.
d. C.. under act of Congress OF March
g 1879.
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29

When Mr.. Baniamin D. Croker. who
is at the New Willard, settled in the
state of Washington, as a youth, the
country was mostly a wilderness, and
there were no such towns as Spo-
kane and Tacoma. Mr.. Croker lit
orally grew up with the country. He is
collector OF internal revenue for Wash
ington and Alaska. and for years has
been a Warwick in the Republican party.
There is not a politician in the State that
is not glad of his friendship, and it IS
whispered that he has had much 10 do
with the making and unmaking of Sena-
tors and Representatives
The Washington herald., 1907-01-29
What About Cuba ?

TUESDAY, JANUARY 20, 1907.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-03-15

than to fall into the hands of the
japanese. But there are many Fill
ipinos who would be willing to see
Japan take the islands, and Japan
wants to know who they are. That
is why the conferences are being
held with the native politicians. In
the event war should be declared
between the United States and ia
pan, the latter would know exactly
upon whom she could depend in the
islands. She would know his influ-
ence, the number Of followers he
had. She would know how to reach
him and where. She would know
the topography of every part Of the
islands. She could send her armies
over the roads in the dark. She
could tell to an ounce the capacity
OF every bridge. She could plan the
campaign in Toxic. as we'll as in
Manila. She would be prepared. and
preparedness in war spells success,
unless thepother side is also pre-
pared, and then 1t spells hell, long
drawn out and concentrated, all
double distilled and administered in
'allopathic doses Springfield (O.)
News,
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-03-15
PHYSICIAN
COMPLETELY EXRONORATED

Delaware, o.. March Is. The
sensational $4,000 damage suit
which was filed against DIR. Silas
w. Fowler, prominent physician
in which Perry Davis. farmer,
charged the doctor with the alien
alton of his wife's affections was
brought to an abrupt close yester-
day when the plaintiffs attorneys
filed papers Of dismissal in the
case and paid the costs OF the
same.
This action completely exhoncr-
ates the physician.
From the documentary evidence
which the defendant had secured
and which he hoped to divulge in
court ii is said that he has been
made the victim of one Of the
most contemplate Matchmaking
schemes ever pcrpetrated in this
part Of the state.