The Washington herald., 1907-10-20
HOW TO CATCH A MAN
THE BACHELOR GIRL TELLS OF THE WAYS
OF HER SEX

I ITS foolish 10 try to dodge them While
you are escaping from one automobile or
one girl there is always another autOmO-
bile or another girl coming the other way
It's just as well 20 pick out the woman
you'd prefer TO be married by"
"Or the automobile you'd prefer TO be
killed by, put I'm the Mere Man bitterly.
"Of course" acquiesced the Bachelor
Girl And then you won't be 50 sur
prised when it happens. nor so utterly
astonished when it is over, as the average
man IS when he finds himself going home
regularly 20 dinner and walking the baby
every night. It's much wiser and more
comfortable to be prepared for a neces-
sary-er-"
Evil" suggested the Mere Man. spite
fully.
Emergency" corrected the Bachelor
Girl calmly. But" she went on. "a man
will prepare for the worst IN all the great
emergencies of life except matrimony. He
wouldn't think of crossing the ocean
without selecting a good ship and locat-
ing Iife-preserver and learning how 10
swim. or Of going on a long rail0rsd jour
ney without taking out an accident pol
Icy. or Of buying a house without equip
ping IL with FIRE escapes and patent extiu-
gUishers. or Of signing a business con
tract without first making sure that il
was genuine and advisable. Yet he'll
sign the marriage contract without even
reading it over and select a wife as he
would a buttonhole bouquet. simply be
cause she is nice 10 look at and smells
sweet and nestIeS gracefully on his coat
lapel And, of course, he's always horri-
bly, shocked and disappointed il she
doesn't turn out 20 be as useful and sat
isfying as a bag Of potatoes"
Yes. sighed the Mere Man. putting his
cigarette, ITS the surprise that hurts.
If We didn't take you of your guard,
declared the Bachelor Girl. waving her
embroidery frame. wed never get you
on the marriage register. II We didn't
iull you into hypnotic state we'd never
entiee you into the domestic state The
only way TO get husband nowadays is
to snatch him when he isn't looking. or
suspecting, or IN his usual fighting
trim
That's it, cried the Mere Man hastily.
It's when a chaps down OF in or upset
or too weak to resist; it's when he's suf-
fering from sorrow or -he toothache. OF
has been thrown over by another
woman, its when he's bored 20 DEATH or
In a Tot of trouble that some ordinary
little thing comes along and looks 70 him
Ike an angel in disguise and he clutches
at her as a drowning man does at a
spar"
And then the sparring commences"
finished the Bachelor Girl cheerfully.
But" she added. selecting a palid pur-
pie thread and carefully aiming il at the
eye of her needle, 1T works quite as we'll
the other way. You're just as easy-I
mean susceptible and defenseless-w
you're up as when you're down, when
you're happy as when you're miserable"
WHAT do you mean?' demanded the
Mere Man Does any fellow in rational
state Of mind propose
'Ot course not replied the Bachelor
Girl hastily. But many a man has been
irrational enough to propose to a girl at
moment when the world looked rosy
because he had just come into fortune
or won on the races, or had had lust
enough wine to make him happy and
careless, or was OF on a vacation OF a
yacht or an ocean steamer with nothing
else to do except forget his cares and
watch the moonlight on the water. And
1t s their own fault" she declared en-
phaucally, Tn marriage Is a failure. II
men would marry when they fan in love
instead OF waiting until they fall into a
trap-if they would marry when they
lose their hearts instead OF waiting unfiI
they lose their heads there would be more
happy marriages.
'Humph. grunted the Mere Man and
when should a woman marry please2''
When she can" retorted the Bachelor
Girl. succintly, If she can surprise the
man she loves into marrying her she is
lucky II she can't-the Bachelor Girl
spread out her hands expressively-'.th there
is nothing left for her TO do but 10 take
some other man"
BY strategy. or main force. or STEALTH
added tn Mere Man. resentfully.
The Bachelor Girl shrugged her should
ers and put a French knot in the middle
Of the orchid with deliberate care.
And to think, unused the Mere Man,
after moment, as he lit a fresh cigarette,
that we are simply victims
from the start-unsuspecting prey. help
less, innocent little rabbits
You wouldn't be- interrupted the
Bachelor Girl, bluntly, IF you didn't con-
slider yourselves so in advance There is
a whole lot in the Christian Science max
i'm that you will get just what you ex-
pect In this world. And every man ex-
poets to be entrapped into matrimony. If
you weren't so afraid Of marrying the
woman who frankly wants you and loves
you. you wouldn't be so often ensnared
by the woman who wants your income
| and doesn't love YOU"