The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-05-12

Why" inquired Kitty, renectlNeiy' ds she extracted the olives from the ham per we had brought with us in the automobile and set them precariously on the tablecloth at our feet, do wo- men take such awful chances in mat rimony?'
 Perhaps" I suggested thoughtfully, as I tugged at a refractory cork. be cause it's the only kind they get"
 Kitty sniffed-presumably at the chow w-chow--and set down plate of sandwiches with a bump.
 But" I continued, If this domestic scene reminds you of anything so har- rowing as matrimony, remember that this is a picnic and"
 Marriage isn't" retoined Kitty promptly. Yet nowadays everybody seems to be sallying into it as non- chalantly as If 1t were half holiday or a game of bagatel1e. There have been four elopements in the past week and none of the parties knew each other for more than three weeks: and suppose you read about that playwright who took a bride on two days ac- quaintance, and about the"
 Spare mel protested piteously. T don't read the pink and blue sheets"
 "They don't even stop to think" went on Kitty what serious thing
 If they did," I broke in bluntly,
 
 That would be better" declared Kitty, batting the butter remorselessly with a knife and at the same time try Ing to blow the curls out of her mouth, than accepting a life partner as you would a partner for a waltz or a cotil- lion or a game of golf-on sight ln- stead of becoming properly acquainted and conventionally engaged and elabo- rately married under a canopy of lilies ar pd rrnnrifa uaddfnR he'll with all the family gathered round in tearful- mean cheerful-groups, and the bridesmaids throwing rice and old shoes In the good old-fashioned way, two people nowadays meet on Monday, fall In love on Tuesday, exchange eternal vows on Wednesday and are married and on their way to Europe or the Barbados by Saturday"
 Before the laundry comes home, or they know the color of each others eyes, or how to spell one another's front names! Delightful!' l exclaimed, stretching my legs on the damp turf and looking up under Kittys red Tam O Shauter admirlngly.
 What" Kitty dropped her fork and just missed overturning the chow chow.
 "The way to keep it tipped over one ear," I explained nod ling toward the Tam oShanter, and the idea of mar riage without a wedding. Think of the torture they escape!"
 And the expenser remarked Kitty, witheringly, attempting to bite sand wich without getting a mouthful of curl.
 And the surprises in store for them"
 When they wake up to find them selves married to a perfect stranger! intcrpclated Kitty, scornfully.
 "Oh, they'd do that anyhow" l aver red, helping myself generously to cold chicken.
 'Anyhoww Kitty looked at me in alarm, with her fork in midair.
 Did you ever see a husband and wife who really knew each other?' l demanded. I've known women who had been married for ten years who were as unacquainted with their hus- bands as if they had just met them at an afternoon tea; and I've met men who had lived in holy wedlock for a quarter of a century who knew as lit tie of their wives as they did of the maid in the kitchen. The idea that d year or two of courtship or a long en- gagement is going to prepare you for the eXi gencies of matrimony or to give you a light on anybody's character is an old fallacy invented by somebody In order to give the family a chance to see themselves walking down the aisle in their best clothes and a reflected halo and to get their names into the papers. Instead of helping you to un- derstand one another an engagement only helps you to deceive one another a little longer, and to create for your selves the illusion that married life is going to be one long dream of kisses and moonlight and violets at $2 a box. Choosing a wife or a husband is like picking out the combination on a lot tery ticket. or guessing the number of beans in a bag. You've got to take a chance, and your first guess Is just as likely to be right as your last one. The woman who works out a system for playing the matrimonial game isn't any more liable to win than the one who shuts her eyes and puts her fin- ger down on the table haphazard and then risks her fortune on the guess. Marriage is like roulette; nobody can tell how the wheel or the man win turn, except the little god who plays croupier."
 Kitty laid down her fork and gazed at me in shocked surprise.
 But" she protested. If you know a man well before you marry him"
 That's no sign you'll know him af- terward,' I broke in. "A man is a chameleon. He changes color with his background. He may be perfectly charming against a blue sky on sum-