davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1907-01-10
MERELY. A MASTERPIECE.

Not . sAIessagc" In Lovely Diction
For the Junior Manager.
A man who wanted to lecture called
Mt bureau presided over by two man
ayers. ------
He aroused their interest with lee
turer's art, says the Lyceumlte, but
unfortunately the senior, member was
lust starting ON a trip and would not
return for at least a month. !
The senior partner Called the young
man to one side and exacted a solemn
promise that he would not visit an
other bureau or read his lecture to
anybody until after he had given this
particular manager q reading and a
chance to make him an offer month
hence.
The interest of the junior member,
however, was at white heat, and he
kept sending for the young lecturer, in
sisting that he come down to the Office
and read his lecture. The young man
refused with as much tact as possible,
but this only increased the anxiety of
the Junior
promise made the senior partner. In
stead of quieting the junior manager,
the announcement made him the more
anxious, and finally the young man
consented
The reading ended, the junior part
ner said:
NOW. your reading this has saved
us all much valuable time. I'll tell you
frankly, my boy, 1T won't do. There's
no message. in it; it is loosely construct
ed; the diction is poor. 1t won't do.
Burn it and try again"
When the senior partner returned he
called up the young lecturer and sound
~ berated him for breaking faith.
''How do know you have not been
to every bureau in town? You promis-
ed me on your honor you would read
the lecture to nobody-not even to my
partner"
The young man protested that he
had not done SO.
why" exclaimed the senior man.
ager. "of course you have! He tells me
that you came down here to the Office
two weeks ago and read him the entire
lecture and that he told you 1t was no
good"
ayes" replied the young man; latter
ture which he told me was no good
but it was not my lecture-it was Wen
dell Phillips Lost Artsv"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1907-01-10
THE DEVlLFISH.
Its Ability to Change It's Own and
the Waters Color.

Its Ability to Change Its Own and
the Waters Color.
Il was lying on a rock watching the
movements of some land crabs which
kept retreating from the water as the
tide, rose, when suddenly a crab dashed
frantically from the water, and out
after 1t, .galloped- there Is mo other
word for it-a devilfish nearly two feet
across" writes an: observer from Ava
chase short distance, lifting it's ten
tacles in the air in a sort of overhead
motion; then, dnding pursuit hopeless,
tttwithdrew with aQpeculiarly unpleas-
ant, writing, gliding motion charac-
,teristic of these animals. Upon reach
ing the water 1t stationed itself just at
the edge, so mimicking the color Of the
bottom that when / glanced away and
looked suddenly back I could not at
once distinguish it. This devilfish had
the appearance. Of a cat watching for
mice, and when crab was seen it
would shoot out long, attenuated
tentacle and attempt to seize 1t. BY
carefully insinuating my way to the
waters edge l quickly grasped the
specimen and after a short struggle
tore it from the rocks and secured it.
"At various times I had from three
to five devilfishes in an Enclosure
where l could watch them change color
and test their strength. In confine-
ment, if the tank bottom was dark.
they assumed various tints, generally
dark reddish brown, but the largest
one was q tigerlike creature, about
three feet across, with ground Of
livid white covered with black or dark
gray blotches, giving it truly fiendish
appearance, especially as the eyes
were conspicuous and appeared to emit
lambent CLEANS. The change Of color
was marvellous in its rapidity. In a
special tank in which two OF these
prisoners were confined they occupied
the corners. facing outward, with arms
either coiled under or above them. at
any offensive movement on my part.
presenting my hand under water, the
appeared to pass over the entire sur
face, and in a large squid | can only
compare it to heat lightning-a rapid
and continued series Of flushing and
paling, from deep brick red to gray.
"It was very evident that the AMI
mails differed much in pugnacity.
Some did not resent my touching them;
others merely threw tentacle in my
direction. while one never touched me,
but directed it's siphon at my hand
under water and sent a violent current
in that direction, apparently endeavor-
ing to blow my hand away. 1t was
fascinating to observe the range this
water gun had and how by seeming
intuition the devilfish could direct it
at my hand as slowly moved it about
while attempting to attract the ami;
mails attention in an opposite direc-
fi0D -
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1907-01-10
Boards and Battles.

Shaggy locks and patriarchal boards
have proved highly inconvenient things
on the battlefield. Does not history
record that Alexander ordered the
Macedonians to be shaved lest their
boards should give handle to their
enemies? Peter the Great was also
friend of the BARRIERS, for he not only
ordered all ranks to be shaven, but
caused officers to go about to cut off
the boards of offenders by force.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1907-01-10
F0LEYSHON YAs6EAR
Cures Colds; Prevents Pneumonia
Sold bv G. w. Frost.
Cures Colds; Prev

Wanted: by Chicago wholesale
and mali order house, assistant
manager oman or woman) for this
county n q adjoining territory.
Salary $20 and expenses paid '-wetk-
ly; expense money advanced, Work
pleasant; position permanent. No
investment or experience required.
Spare time valuable. Write at once
for full particulars and enclose self
addressed envelope. SUPERIN-
rENDENT, 1872 Lake St. Chicago,
I'll.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1907-01-10
Timely PFecautiOn.

Maria said Mr.. Quigley. entering
his home in some excitement, 81 want
you to promise me not to look at the
papers for the next three months"'
"What for?' wonderingly asked Mrs.
Quigley.
II have just bean nominated for
public Office, he faltered, land ! don't
want you to find out what kind of man
I really am. Chicago Tribune.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1907-01-10
His Second.

She-I must say don't believe in
warmed over" love. He-Well, there's
one thing sure "a widower's second
love is always worth more than his
first She-The idea. He-I mean his
money than his first. - Philadelphia
Press.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1907-01-10

Opr % IS Ind yet , cold
g" Of vt'uf system. K -nnedy's
Laxative Cough Syrup opens the
bowels aud tn same time allays the
il f1anma 'on,.f the mucous mem
nranes. Contains Honey and T: r,
Drives out the cold and stops the
cough. ABS 'lutely free from any.
opia,s Conforms to the National
Pure Food and Drug Law Pleas
ant to take Sold ny M. M. Sweet.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1907-01-10
WOnaanIy.

"What," she asked, sis your idea Of a
womanly woman?"
"One," he replied. "who takes the
comb out of her back hair every little
while and gives it two or three upward
scrapes and then jabs it in again.
Chicago Record Herald.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1907-01-10
Shrewd Game.

"Extryr' yelled the bright newsboy.
"An about the terrible wumpty-er-
wumpl''
"EhT' asked the inquisitive old man.
"What did We say. sonny"
II didn't say it." replied the boy.
Buy a paper an set" minneapolis
Journal.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1907-01-10

Mica when reduced to a powder form
is used as a lubricant for high speed
machinery. It keeps the bearings free
from dust aud resists cold and damp
ness
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1907-01-10
Always GrowIf2x.

"Binks is always growing that he
doesn't have justice done him" ...as..,
Eyes. When he gets halo he'll prob
ably say it isn't square thing."-New
York Times.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1907-11-21

cavalier hat, turned up at one side
and trimmed with handsome feather
or with immense clusters OF flowers.
Black taffetR hats bound with black
silk braid are possessed Of much
charm. In this connection the braid Il
always wide and rather coarse in tex
ture: It forms an important binding
for the cloche bFim and Is the best
OF taste with tallor.made costumea
For afternoon wear we shall have
many OF the best hats edged, or bound
with fur. and already have seen seal
skin used In this way-with excellent
results.
AS q final word on heads aud hats
let me just say that the great objsct
OF the fashionable woman OF the hour
is to have her hair and hat in com
plete accord. It must either be thai
the hair is dressed out TO meet the hal
or that the hat Is crushed in to meet
the hair; whichever be the method
chosen the result must no perfect har
mony OF outline. Hats are smaller thar
they were last season. and--heads de-
cidedly largeri
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1907-11-21
MARK rwAIMs RENrEp CAT.
HumorIst Furnishes Something for
serlbss 70 Puzzle Over.

Mark Twain, az IL his custom, hides
himself during the summer from the
head hunters. those persons seeking
autographs, photographs, OF inter-
views. This year he selected Tuxedo
Park as his retreat, renting an old
colonial house until the latter part OF
September. when he returned to his
New York home. There. during the
heated days, Mr.. Clemens wandered
about the country byways or spent
the time In various shady hooks In
his grounds.
A visitor who succeeded In discov-
ering his whereabouts found the great
author In his famous suit OF white
flannels. seated under \ tree petting
a kitten.
where did you get TT" Queried the
friendly intruder.
For a moment there was o twinkle
In the aged humorlst's eyes; It was
succeeded by a solemn look as he re-
piled: II rent II from q neighbor.
You see. cannot afford q cat--not
even a young one"
Subsequent inquiry proved at least
the first part of Mr.. Clemens state
ment to be true. He had actually
rented the kitten for the summer sea-
son. What does he pay for It? No
body knows what Mark Twain pays
for anything, All the world IL inter
estod only In what Mark Twain ia
paid.-The Sunday Magazine.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1907-11-21
Wnrna and Mnraa.

''The late Admiral Walker" said q
naval officer in Washington. believed
heartily In marriage for sailors. He al.
ways urged sailors TO wed. Nautical
bachelors were held up to scorn by
him.
"strollIng With him In New York
one day we met young ship-broker.
Admiral Walker hailed the young man
deliEhtedly. He ciapped him on the
back. wrung his hand and cried:
Congratulations on your marriage.
my young friend. No more sewing on
Of buttons now. eh?'
"'No, indeed said the ship-broker
sharply. ! wear belt now. It keeps
me so busy raising money to pay my
wife's bills that l have no time to
sew on buttons"
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1907-11-21
the FACULTIES OF Jusrlcs.
Blind, Perhaps. But No Reasonable
Proof Of Deafness Also.

Judge Harlan. who lives up on the
hill. was q passenger on Fourteenth
street car the other day and was seat
cd next TO couple Of clerks who we're
deeply interested In some discussion.
which caused one of them 20 raise his
voice to quite a high pitch, says the
Washington Star. This appeared TO
make the other man rather cautious,
as he glanced warily around 70 see
II any one was listening 20 the talk
OF his friend. At this moment he dis
covered the presence of the dlgnifled
justice and turning hastily TO his loud
talking comrade, he said: For
heavens sake. lower your voice; you
may have heard that justice Is blind
but that doesn't necessarily mean
that it's deaf also" Whether Judge
Harlan heard the remark II is i'm.
possible to state, yet, all the same, q
calm smile fitted over his face at
the conclusion Of the young fellows
admonitlon TO his friend.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1907-11-21
PersIan Easy b Learn.

Persian Is said TO be not very aft
1cult language. The modern Persian
IL very much like the English In its
sensible rejection Of the Infections
that burden SO many OF the wOFld'a
tongues There is no difference Of
Termination 70 mark the gender, either
In nouns or adjectives. and all mani.
mate things are neuter. In other
ways the Persian conforms TO The
English.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1907-11-21
NEwSOF MISSOURI
Books Did Not Tally.

St LouIs--Two alleged discrep-
ancies. involving s2.75.00O. were found
In the accounts OF the Peoples United
States bank at University City in the
spring Of 1905. according TO the testl-
mony OF ]. l.. Stice, assistant post.
master OF St Louis and a postoffco
Inspector at the time. at Wednesday
Afternoons session of the trial OF
President Edward G. Lewis Of the de-
funct institution, who is accused Of
using the mails 10 defraud.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1907-11-21

little sleeve. think one OF the most
becoming sleeves is the trelliswoTk of
chenille. studded. perhaps. with jet,
and edged with a fringe. The shape of
the arm is very often ruined by an H..
fitting sleeve. The manipulation Of tho
sleeve. therefore, should receive most
careful attention. No woman looks
well dressed unless she knows how to
put on her clothes; the best dress.
maker in the world cannot invest the
wearer with the meaning OF the gown.
AS to hats. | should like to point out
one or two important changes which
have taken place in the millinery
world since last season. We have
completely done away with hat brims
which are longer at the back than the
front, and we no longer hide the back
OF our necks! Cloche hats-eVen those
In mushroom form-are still very
fashionable. but they are no longer
exaggerated in outline and they are
worn on the head. And then We are
becoming very enthusiastic over the
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1907-11-21
Mystery Affects sister.

ST. Joseph-Miss Martha Uhllnger.
sister OF Miss Lena UhIlnger. who dis
appeared mysterIously several weeks
ago. was found by her physician TO
be on the verge Of mental collapse.
She blames herself for the disappear
ance of her sister. who was in feeble
health. and broodlng over this has
caused mental breakdown. Miss
Lena Uhllnger is believed to have wan
dered TO the river bank and drowned
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1907-11-21
To Stop Hazinq.

st. Louis--Hazlng at Washington
university must stop. The committee
on discipline OF the department OF
arts and sciences says 80. Acting
Chancellor Marshall s. Snow has or
dered that copies of the order be hand
ed to every student, The faculty Is
said to agree with the discipline com.
mittee that recent happenings in the
hazing line at the university have been
too strenuous and that II is time TO call
a halt.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1907-11-21
counelIman Made Proft.

st. Louis-Former Councilman Geo.
c. Llnde, in his testimony before the
committee investigating the connec
ton OF Councilman Albert r. Thorn
son with the 1865 contract for clean.
ing the council chamber, admitted that
the city was made to pay 5000 fol
work for which he Uinde) disbursed
only Sis TO the man doing the work.
He said the sS5 balance was a debt
from him to this man.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1907-11-21

Sheer white goods. In fact, any fine
wash goods when new. owe much OF
their attractiveness TO the way they
are Numbered. this being done in q
manner TO enhance their textile beau
". Home laundering would be equal
ly satisfactory IL proper attention was
given to starching. the first essential
being good Starch, which has SUFFICIENT
strength to stiHfen, without thickening
the goods. Try Defiance Starch and
you will be pleasantly surprised at the
improved appearance OF your work.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1907-11-21
aNs,,n Loaa Two 20 One.

waynesville-Local option carried
Pulaski county by vote Of 1,112 to
$50. At Dixon. where the only saloon
in the county is conducted, the vote
was 204 for the issue. 1913 against. Al
Richland the vote was 224 for and
IS against School children paraded
with banners bearing temperance le.
gends and demonstration was held
in the public square
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1907-11-21
Vaudeville circuit In state.

Jefferson City-Aaron Gollos OF
Chicago is here in the interest OF es.
tablishing n new vaudeville circuit,
including this city. sedalia, Columbia,
MoberIy and Hannibal. He states that
his arrangements are about complet'
ed. aud the first of these plays will
be put on the stage here Nov. rs.
Gollos has established his headquar
tiers in this city.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1907-11-21
Soon Told.

Mr. Trotter--I spent an entire day
with your husband last week. We
hadn't met for nearly 20 years, and
naturally he had to tell me all he
knew.
Mrs Homer-He ought TO have told
you that much in ten minutes. But
had he started in 70 tell you all he
doesn't know It would have taken him
the rest OF his natural life.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1907-11-21
Mining Congress In Session.

Joplin-The American Mining Con.
gress was called to order here in 18th
annual session. Several hundred del
egates were in attendance, represent
ing all parts OF the country. The gath
erlng will last through Thursday. The
day was devoted TO the reception OF
delegates and a side trip to Galva,
Kas., where a banquet was spread al
noon.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1907-11-21
Kanaaa cItvan Arrssted.

Kansas City,. G. Wilson. presi.
dent OF the Interstate Fiscal Agency
Co. and agent for the Kansas City
Life Insurance Co. IN oklahoma. Kan.
sas and Nebraska. was arreated by
United States Marshal Durham on 9
warrant sworn out by Postofnce In.
spector e L. Mckee. charging him
with using the mails 70 defraud.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1907-11-21
Murder Barred In 4uohesvilIe.

sedalia--InvestIgn into the death
OF Charles Arnold. whose dead body
was found near Hughesville, has
brought out evidence showing conclu'
sively that he was waylaid, murdered
and robbed on the evening OF Oct. 80.
Arnold was shot In the back Of the
head with a charge Of slugs from a
muEzlo-loading shotgun.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1907-11-21
aNNetn1 carrv Monltaau.

Observation-Disclosures, county went
wet" by a majority Of 20. The total
vote was slightly more than 1900. The
election included the towns OF Upton
and California. Citizens OF California
celebrated the victory with parade
and n general demonstration. A Joint
prayer meeting was held at one Of the
churches.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1907-11-21
To Gust Harvester Co.

ST. Louisa suit 10 have the Inter
national Harvester Co. Of America de.
cla.ed a trust operating in restraint
OF trade and TO compel It to cease do
Ing business in Missouri was filed In
the supreme court by Attorney Gen
eral Hadley. The company IL popu'
larly known as the Harvester Trust"
and 10 capitalized at S12O,O0O.00O.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1907-11-21
"a Foroe, Retired Banker, Killed.

Kansas city-w. b. la Force, 70
tired banker and merchant OF this
city. who for the last eight years has
been conducting a model dairy on bis
l00-acre farm south Of this city, was
killed by falling shaft In the ensine
house on his farm.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1907-11-21

Enthusiastic Amateur Sailor-Let
go that jib sheet! Unenthusiastic
"Landlubber" (who has been decoyed
into acting crew)-I'm not touching
the beastly thingi-Puneh.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1907-11-21
Carefully Compounded.

Father is in a perfectly lovely
mood" remarked Clarice. Don't you
think you had better ask him this
EVENING""
Suppose you ask him?" suggested
Clarence.
"oh. can't" protested the girl.
I'm too shy"
"You ask him Just this one time"
pleaded Clarence. 81 promise you
that In the future I'll ask him. no mat.
ter how shy am."-Judge.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1907-11-21

Shortly after she marries again q
widow begins to tell victim No. 2
what a good man her first husband
WRR
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1907-11-21

Brooklyn. N. Y. Oct /. 1907.
Dear Mr. Pritehard:
Noticing Postum Food Coffee adver-
tiBed each week in your reliable pa
per, concluded to try It.. and feeling
II a duty towards those who may have
suffered as I have from indigestion.
desire TO state what wonderful bene-
At l have received from Postum al
though using only a short time. and
not do. I alone realize and appreciate
its good effects, but friends remark.
"HoW much I have improved and how
we'll look, and tell the facts about
Postum every time. for since using
Il have pot had one attack OF indi-
EestIon. II IL invigorating, healthfuli
does not AFFECT the nerves as ordinary
coffee, and II properly made. a most
delicious drink. Although have not
had much faith In general advertis-
lug, yet. finding Postum has done so
much better ror me than expected l
am more inclined 70 ''Provo all things,
hold fast that which II good" am
so thankful for good health that
want II known what blessing Pos
tum has been 10 me. You may use
these few lines as an al. II ycu - o.
size and my name also.
Very truly yours.
Anna 8. Reeves
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1907-11-21
TO PRETENpERs.
A Wholesome Word for Guidance.

Just a word TO you. Golfers" and
other glarlng examples of Modern
Yellow Journalism and Cigarettes.
Environment gives you a viewpoint
from which It is difficult to under.
stand that some people even nova.
days act from motives OF old fashion.
ed honesty.
There are honest makers OF foods
and healthfui beverages and there are
honest people who use them.
Perhaps you are trained to believe
there is mo honesty in this world.
There is. although you may not be
OF a kind to understand 1t.
Some OF you have been trained In a
sorry class OF pretenders. but your
training does not faint the old fashion
ed person trained without knowledge
OF pretense and deceit.
These letters came to US absolutely
without solicitation. We have n great
many thousand from people who have
been helped or entirely healed by fol
lowing the suggestions to quit the
food or drink which may be causing
the physical complaints and change
to Postum Coffee or Grape-Nuts food.
You are not intelligent enough to
know the technical reasons why the
change makes a change in the cells
OF the body. Your knowledge. or lack
of knowledge, makes not the slightest
difference in the facts.
You can print from old and worn
plates all the cheap books your
presses will produce and sell them as
best you can. but such acts and your
learned" editorials are but CONNER
elal. and seek only dollars" and much
by pretenee.
When you branch out into food
values you become only ridiculous.
Stick to what you know. The field
may be small but II is safe.
This first letter 10 from the PreSi-
dent OF the Christian Nation, q
worthy Christian paper of New York.
New York, Oct. 2. 1907.
Postum Cereal Co., Ltd,
Battle Greek, Mich.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1907-11-21
Dear sirs:

Dear Sirs:
am, this morning. in receipt OF the
enclosed mighty good letter from one
OF my subscribers. which forward to
you. and which I am sure you will be
glad to use. I am personally acquaint'
ed with this lady. and know that she
has no object in writing. other than
to do good.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1907-11-21
Cordially,
Brooklyn. N. Y. Oct. /. 1901

John W. Pritchard. Pres.