davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1907-07-16
TOOK DR.. TRUE's ELIXIR
and GOT WELL
SoMERyILLR. ME-,

DIR. TRUE, DEAR SIR
"For more than three months one OF my
children had been troubled with spells OF
vomiting and symptoms of fever nearly
every week, together with canker-sores
about the nose and mouth. I obtained,
about two weeks ago, two bottles OF your
Elixir, and before the first bottle Vas ex-
hausted the sores were Entirely healed,
and no appearc.ce OF his vomiting or
fever-snel.s has ever returned. I really
believe that the lives of thousands Of
children suffering from worms or canker
might be saved by a timely and judicious
use of your Elixir" Yours truly,
]. L. HAMMErT.
This n only ono OF hundreds OF such testi-
monials. This marvellous remedy has been
made and sold by DIR. J. +. True q Co. for
fifty-six years, and in all that time nothing
but words OF praise have been bestowed
upon It. This is what Mr.. Wing thinks oft
AUBURN, Me.
DR.. TRUE, DEAR SIR
"For the past seven years I have con-
stantly kept a supply Of your Elixir IN
my house, and it never failed to give
prompt relief. 1t has been great bless
ing to my children, and unsolicited give
you this tribute of gratitude, hoping the
merits of your unrivaled family medicine
may be widely known and appreciated. !"
Very respectfully yours,
CHAS. E. WING.
Even though worms may not be found
present DIR. True's Elixir tones up the stomach
and liver. Read what DR.. J. Haley, OF Bruins
wick, thinks Of It.:
"It is safe and effectual remedy. For
worms it has no equal, and is an excellent
remedy for canker of the mouth and throat. I"
Dr. True's Elixir is sold by druggists every.
where at S5c., Soc, and sl.0O per bottle. The
booklet, "Children and Their Diseases, win
be sent free by simply addressing DIR. j.
True 4 Co.. Auburn. Me. We have speciai
treatment for tspe-worIn.>. Send for free book.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1907-07-16
The saivation Of Work.

Harry Thaw's mother ruined her son
when she changed the will Of the boys
father. The latter left the spendthrift
$500 year. Mrs. Thaw changed 1t to
$50, 900 q year. It was Q case OF too
much mothering. She put handicap
on her sons life, cheated him out OF his
chance. Young Thaw never had the
satisfaction nor the experience OF earn
ing an honest dollar. He never knew
the keen Joy of work. The exultation
of the youth who turns from wood-box
filled or lawn mowed-a job we'll COM
pleted-never came to him. He was
denied the opportunity of labor with bis
hands or the working out Of an idea
with his head. The natural enthtsiasm
of application was stranger to his life.
The curse of idleness was upon him.
For idleness 10 curse. The dictum that
man must earn his bread by the sweat
Of his brow Is not curse, but blessing.
Work Is the universal law Of nature. 1t
Is the normal, sane business OF man.
What could be expected of young man
who had more money than he knew
how to spend and who made diversion
his only purposep
There's q limit to having good time.
When you get 30 far, natural pleasures
pail, and If the human has no 0ccupa-
ton the craving for new emotions be-
gins to pull on the appetite. Self-re.
straint is overborne. Life is warped.
Tastes are vitiated. Existence is artific-
ial and false.
No man can live sane existence with
out some healthy occupation. We are
built that way. The wisdom that Is de.
vine made US for task. To refuse the
task is to 60 to war with that wisdom.
Work and purity and sanity are logical
trinity.-Ex.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1907-07-16
The Lost Ruby Breastpin !:

it's-its"- And Dot gasped In amaze
ment at the object in her hand.
'Tts Cousin Gladys lost ruby pin!'
shouted Mabel. where under the sun
did 1t come from?"
Pipes were dropped In a hurry, ana
the two little girls stood and gazed
Mt each other in silence. Duke was
jumping impatiently for his plaything.
Then Mabel looked up at the house.
The window in the spare room where
Cousin Gladys had slept was open, and
the rufiled white curtain blew gently
In and out. AS they stood spellbound
the curtain blew in toward the table
and out again, and on the edge Of the
ruffie was scrap Of paper, which
huttered slowly to the ground.
"Ahr said Dot softly. II see the
.th!efw And then they rushed indoors
to tell the news.
Great good news 1t was too. The
ruby pin had apparently been caught
by the same curtain and gently deposit
ed outside on the ground, as the scrap
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1907-07-16

ever since he had been an inmate or
the household and what would a small
fox terrier want Of large ruby breast
pin anyway? Topsy had denied any
knowledge Of the affair. They could
not suspect her. She might have been
guilty Of stealing II piece OF fish or a
mouse. hut what would cat want to
ste:l rubies for?
TIL. only possible solution was that
some one E::d entered the house while
the family was ut dinner, stolen the
pin AMI gone Off without being seen.
II there had only been footsteps In the
SNOW. to trace the thief. but there was
no sign.
So the matter was dropped entirely.
except by the children. who had ere
ate.! wonderful tales about the loss OF
the ruby
On. beautiful June day Mabel and
Dot had 81 bubble bee" all by them
selves. Harold - disagreeable boy! -.
had gone oil fishing and refused to
take any girls. He declared they were
always in the way"
I'D rath ~ blow bubbles with my
new pipe anyway" said Dot airily as
Harold wen: down the walk. There
was a suggestion Of Il sob in her voice,
but she held her head high. Mabel
said not Il word. One thing she did
love, md that was to fish. Duke push
ed his Geld little nose comfortingiy
into her hand. He liked to go fishing,
too. bit blowing bubbles was very fas-
chatting esnccially with the new col.
ored bubble soap. and 1t was not long
before the two little girls were happy
again. and Duke was wild with de-
light As each bubble grew bigger and
bigger Duke harkcd louder ana louder
and begged that one should be given
him to play with. BIT for little dogs
bubbles are poor playthings and last
but minute. 1t required great atten-
ton on the part Of both blowers to pre-
vent their work meeting instant de-
structiOn. .
Dot blew the best-there was no
question OF that-but Mab's bubbles
seeacd to last longer. and it WAS one
Of Mab's that went bouncing along on
the breeze. with Duke in hot pursuit
Both girls were laughing merrily at
the queer antics Of Duke and his play
thing when the bubble descended, and
Duke poUnced upon his prize. or
course II burst ut once. and the dog
Jumped back, with sneeze. Then,
seiZing something with his teeth, he
spang back.
"Poor old Dukey." cried Dot. "I'll
blow you one just as big. Just watch"
Put Duke was not Interested in bub-
bles. He had found another plaything.
ooh. drop that old stick and come
alOrgr cried Mabel. "See. Duke-see
the nice big bubbles. Catch 1t. sir
catch it,
But Duke would pay no attention.
81 believe he has something alive"
said Dot. Perhaps it's poor, dear
little toad. Oh. Dukey. aren't you
ashamed of yourself?'
Duke waggel his tail, not bit
ashamed, and deposited ut Dots feet
queer and dirty object.
at isn't toad" said Dot. "It's only
an old Why. Mabel Eloise Fletcher.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1907-07-16
so,re.:-A Dinner Game.

Sources is game that can be
played where the children are Of sew
eral different ages. The scene Of activ'
ity Is the dinner or luncheon table, but
the fun in the play is made by the ed
ibles the youngsters ask to have
passed them, for when boy or girl
requests another to hand the bread
salt. etc. II he or she cannot satisfac'
tOrily answer the question the latter
asks about the dish the food wanted Is
not passed unless another child is mp
pealed to and another question an.
swercd.
When one child asks for the salt, an
other may say. "Where does 1t come
from?" Unless he or she can answer
this she must eat her food unsalted OF
appeal for another question from diff
ferent youngster who Is within polite
reach Of the salt. This boy or girl
may ask how 1t Is made. II lie or she
can answer this, the salt is passed
When Grace wants some oatmeal. Al.
fred may have his chance at revenge
by asking, How long do you cook it:''
Smaller children can well be included
in this game. A little boy or girl may
be asked to spell sugar or tell one
thing about butter before she can have
II on her bread. She can say 1t Is made
In a churn or that it Is yellow.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1907-07-16
His Poem on q Dog.

The ethereal being with the unshorn
locks was shown into the editorial
,anctum.
81 have written poem on the dog"
ae said.
"WhOse dog" demanded the editor
5ercely.
ut is not on any particular dog" fal.
tered the poet.
"Do you mean to say that you took
advantage Of the dog because 1t was
1ot particular and wrote your poem
III it?"
~ am afraid that you do not I'm.
lerstand me. was inspired by the
logs. fidelity
IF the dog was faithful, why should
gou hurt its feelings by writing a
poem OH It? Did you have the poor
,rute shaved and tattoo the verses on
is back, or did you brand them on?
Perhaps YOU
But the poet had fed.-London Tit
Bits.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1907-07-16
ALA FRIBOURG.

This is nice accompaniment to veal
in any form. Boil and drain some aspar-
agus and lay heads all one way in the
dish in which it is to be served, sprinkl-
ing each layer with grated Gruyere
cheese and pour over all four tablespoon
fuls of very hot, almost Drowned butter.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1907-07-16
Kew to the Punler,

No. Authorizations /. Laird, air
g Tribe, rib. 3. Villa, Ill. 4. Worm, or
8. Pearl, ear. 6. Theme, hem. Z. Can
to, ant. s. Blade, lad. 8. Grape, rap
10. Cruet, rue. II. Crate, rat. II. AS
fringe, string. IS. Black, lac.
No. 157.-A Recipe: San Francisco
Valparaiso.
No. 15S.-Hidden Names: /. Bertha
2. Ethel 8. Grace. 4. Ada.
No. 159.-Charade: Butter, fly; but
terfy.
No. 160.-Letter Puzzle: "A friend
ihould bear friends infrmities.'
CrOsswords: /. Africa. 2. Ionian. 3
Deaden. 4. Admire. 5. Shield.
Bursts. Z. Rifle.
No. 161.-An Old Favorite: Mother
Goose.
No. 162-Double Acrostic: Primals-
PRIMROSE. Finals-Hyacinth. l. Patch
2. Rowdy. 3. India. 4. Modoc. 8
Rabbi. q. Ocean. I. Scent. g. Earth.
No. 163.-Reversible Words: /. Brag
garb. .. Leer, reel.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1907-07-16
Flirting,

Flirting is q system of signals design
ed to take place between two persons
In order to conceal from each other.theil
preferences.
Flirting is not always successful. II
frequently ends in marriage.
Flirting is undoubtedly an art, and yet
there seems tn be no hard and fast rule
to govern it. As a game, the only rule
Is that each shall cheat the other a
much as possible. It is a gamble, and
yet one in which the probabilities ART
that both players will lose everything
While extremely social in its nature, u
does not seem to follow the laws tha
control society. There is organized Ia
Dor, but no organized tlirting-except a
seaside resorts.
Flirting is not restricted to beautiful
women and handsome men, but Is fret
to all. A real homely girl, with ar
acute attack of brains, ia often more sue
cessful at it than human doll.
1t takes two to make f1irtation-tht
flirter and the flirtee. Sometimes two
flirtees get together and then no flirta
ton is possible. With two flirters there
is always something doing, but the great
est fun is between flirter and q flirtee
when the former is woman.
Flirtations are common only to inhab
tied countries. They usually take place
anywhere from - O'Clock at night to Il
o'clock the next night.-Life.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1907-07-16
THE CARE OF LIVESTOCK.

II the testimony of great numbers Of
the readers of The New-York Tribune
Farmer is fair basis for the formation
of q correct opinion, then what is known
az its Veterinary Department is every
where esteemed highly. 1t is, however,
more than veterinary department DR..
c. d. Smead, who has had charge OF it
for more than five years, every week an
swers very many questions in regard to
every variety Of livestock known on the
American farm, not alone prescribing
medicine and treatment, but telling how
the diseases might have been prevented,
and laying down specific rules for feed
and care In health, in sickness and in
convalescence. Every farmer keeps
some livestock-good veterinarians are
scarce.
Each inquirer is fully answered, but
DR.. Smead goes far beyond this; he be-
lieves that any information which one
intelligent farmer needs is also needed
by hundreds and thousands OF others,
and he often so broadens his answer as
to make ii a complete essay on the sub
ject discussed. A year or two ago Mr..
B. Walker McKeen, of Fryeburg, Me-,
Sdlu III u mo6liuS VI IdruofS tudt o Noiu-
able horse had been attacked with dis
ease of which he had known nothing
until he had recently read of it in The
New-York Tribune Farmer; what DR..
Smead had taught him enabled him to
save his horse. Another farmer arose
and said he had had a similar experience.
Five or six hundred dollars saved in one
town by one copy of the paper! c. c.
Waller, NJ. D., OF North Troy, VT, writes
to DR.. Smead, under date of April 23:
81 desire to express my gratitude to you
through The New-York Tribune Farmer,
and to say that regard you as the most
able, practical and thoroughly safe
writer of the present age, and to express
my hope that you may live to serve the
farmer and our dumb friends for many
years to come"
The regular price of the New-York
Tribune Farmer is One Dollar year,
but we will send it with The Oxford
Democrat, both papers one year for
$500.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1907-07-16
ut is a dreadful thing to live IN the
house with thief and worse not

ut is a dreadful thing to live IN the
house with a thief and worse not
to know who the thief Is. Dorothy
and Mabel had tried over and over
to solve the mystery. There seemed
TO be no solution to It. The mystery
wns this: One day in the winter
cousin of mammals, u very beautirui
young lady. had come to visit ut TN;
house. When she was dressing Tor
dinner. she carelessly LETT valuable
ruby pine on the dressing table. AFTER
dinner the pin was not there.
Such hubbub as Cousin Gladys Gre
atetl. She cried and cried and almost
had Mysteries. for the pin was her most
cherished treasure. 1t had been given
her by her grandmother. whose grand
mother had In turn given 1t to her. so
you see 1t was very. very old and valn-
able.
1t was out of the question to accuse
either Maria or John of dishonesty.
for both were as honest as the day IS
long. Duke had been the soul OF homer
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1907-07-16
TRAVELLING Sand Hills,

On the coast Of POmerania there are
large tracts of sand heaped up by the
wind, hundreds Of yards In breadth
aud from 60 TO 120 feet high, and
these hills. propelled by the wind,
move steadily In an easterly direction.
The speed at which these great hills
travel Is from tliirty-nine to fifty-six
feet year. Pine woods, which some
times come in their line Of march, can
not stop them and are completely de-
stroyed. The branches are rotted of
by the sand, and nothing is left Of the
trees but the bare stems, which after
q few years wither and die.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1907-07-16
His Bravery.

Said Polly Prue to Billy Bragg
While walking In the zoo.
'1f you should see n big black bear
Would you be frightened too"
"Huh! guess not" said Billy Bragg.
"Id show him a thing or two.
I Just wish one would come along.
would show you what I'd do"
Down the path came big black bear:
Twas only tame bear. too.
But fierce enough to scare him quite.
And away like fash he flew.
Said Polly Prue to Billy Bragg:
"Quite all you said was true.
Your wish was surely gratified.
I saw what you would do
l.or,nanIpn
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1907-07-16
No. 169.-Acrostic.

No. 169.-Aorostio.
First word In each line omitted:
them. so young and so jolly,
- gayety. heart whole. they meet;
- In frolic and folly
- their fun loving friends gladly
greet:
- happy and bright, like the flowers.
- youth In it's beauty appear:
- swiftly the careless bright hours.
-. moments and months disappear
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1907-07-16
A Mistake.

"Why didn't you want to 90 to school
todayT'
Because | made u mistake yester-
day. l did an example that Johnnie
Mulligan failed on"
but that wasn't mistake, was it?'
"Yos: Johnnie says he's going ter
lick me fer it."-New England Home
stead.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1907-07-16
G. B. BuRHANS TESTIFIES AFTER
FOUR YEARS.

G.. B. Burhans, of Carlisle Center,
N. Y writes: "About four years ago l
wrote you stating that had been en-
tirely cured of a severe kidney trouble
by taking less than two bottles of Foley's
Kidney Cure. It entirely stopped the
brick dust sediment, and pain and symp.
toms of kidney disease disappeared. !
am glad to say that / have never had
return of any of those symptoms during
the four years that have elapsed and l
am evidently cured to stay cured, and
heartily recommend Foley's Kidney
Cure to any one suffering from kidney or
bladder trouble" F. A. Shurtleff &
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1907-07-16

81 admit 1 have the fault You men,
ton, "said the conceited man, self-com-
placently, "but it's the only fault 1 have,
and it's small one"
eyes," replied Knox, "just like the
small hole that makes plugged nickel
no good"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1907-07-16

"That chorus GIRL" said the bald
headed man in the front row, "acts az If
she had something on her mind"
(Which girl do you meapT asked
his companion.
"The chunky little one, there at the
end"
"Perhaps she is modest and feels that
she ought to have something on some
where"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1907-07-16
HOW TO TELL IF
YOU have WORMS
The REMEDY THAT
QUICKLY ExPELS THEM

The common symptoms of worms In child.
rem and adults are:-Paleness OF the fsce with
occasional fiushing; indigestion accompanied
by an unnatural appetite at times; foul
tongue and Offensive breath; itching nose;
vomiting; grinding Of the teeth during sleep
swelling OF the upper lip; hard swelled bowels
gripping or colo pains; also commissions ana
many other understandable nervous symp-
toms, which, II not checked In time, LEAD on
70 something moro serious.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1907-07-16
A Good Point.

Prospective Purchaser like the
looks of this automobile, but suppose l
Ihould run over some one and Sales
mantle springs are 80 easy, sir,
you'd scarcely be Jared at all.-Clevs-
land PLAIN Dealer.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1907-07-16

Your brain goes on strike whom you
overload your stomach; both need blood
to do business. Nutrition 10 what you
want, and it comes by taking HOLSTERS
Rocky Mountain Tea. So cents, Tea or
Tablets. =. A. ShurtlsR q Co.; o. D.
Stevens.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1907-07-16

"Miss Kittie," said the new doctor,
"your trouble is merely indigestion. We
can fix that. By the way, have you been
doing any dieting?'
~ don't know" answered the little
girl. "The other doctor has been max
ing me eat all sorts of things that just
hate"
"Then you're dieting, all right"
What is cold in the head? Nothing
to worry about If you treat it with Ely's
Cream Balm as soon as you begin to
sneeze and shuttle. Neglected, the cold
may grow into catarrh, and the air-pass-
ages be so inflamed that you have to
fight for every breath. 1t is true that
Ely's Cream Balm cures catarrh, prompt
ly and certainly. But you know the old
saw about the ounce of prevention.
Therefore use Cream Balm when the
cold in the head shows itself. All drug
gists, 50c., or mailed by Ely Bros, SO
Warren Street, New York.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1907-07-16
A Crowd 10 Not Company.

But little do men perceive what soil
tude is and how far 1t extendeth, for a
crowd is not company, and faces are
but gallery Of pictures, and talk but
a tinkling cymbal where there Is no
love-Bacon's Essay on Friendship"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1907-07-16
sunday
EXCURSION TO =
RANGELEY LAKES
MAINE CENTRAL r. K.


Connection is made at Oquossoc with
steamers to and from Rangeley, giving
time for beautiful sail the entire length
of Rangeley Lake and hours for dinner
at Rangeley Lake House and sight see
ing.
Fare from Mechanic Falls to Rumford
Falls and return 81 5. Returning train
leaves Oquossoc 3 35 p. M, arriving at
Lewiston 705 p. NJ.
Tickets at one fare the round trip will
also be sold from and to intermediate
stations where trains are scheduled to
stop. Passengers from line of Grand
Trunk R'y can connect with this excur.
sion at Mechanic Falls both going and
returning.
GEO. F. EVANS, Vice President and
General Manager.
F.E. BOOTHBY, General Passenger
and Ticket Agent 2o-3l
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1907-07-16

Columbus just landed; meeting big
Indian chief with a package under his
arm, he asked what It was. "Great
medicine. HOLSTERS Rocky Mountain
Tea" said the Injun. IS cents, Tea or
Tablets. F. A. Shurtleff q Co.; o. D.
StevenB
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1907-07-16
Couldn't Fool Him Twice.

The heavy clouds where massing In
the west, the lightning was flashing,
and the thunder was rumbling omincus-
". The fond mother gathered her
young hopeful to her, and tried logical
ly to calm his fears.
"There's no danger, dear, God sends
the thunder storm to clear the air, wa
ter the flowers, and make things cool.
You mustn't be frightened. 1t won't
harm you, and everything will be better
when it's over"
The little chap listened intently, and
when his mother finished he looked at
her quizzically.
"No, no, mamma" he murmured ;
"you talk exactly the way you did last
week when you took me to the dentist
to have that tooth pulled.-Ex.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1907-07-16
How He Spells IL,

How no Speils ".
$50 you go to school, do you, Bob
byW asked the minister.
"Ycs, SIR" answered Bobby.
LET me hear how you spell bread
"B-r-e-d-e."
1.-THE dictionary spells 1t with an a,
Bobby"
"Yes, sir but you didn't ask Inc how
the dictionary spells 1t. You asked me
how l spell it."-Tit-Bits.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1907-07-16

"Yess," said Mr.. Swellman, "Pm
looking for a coachman." swell, sor,''
put in the applicant, "shure, l know all
about horses an" But have you had
any experience with an automobilep'
"Not exactly, sor, but wuz tossed by
a bull wanst.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1907-07-16

She-I hope, dear, that you are not
going to worry about my exceeding my
allowance this time. He (brightening
up)-You don't mean to tell me, dear
est, that there isn't any necessity for It,.
Certainly not. What's the use of
worrying something you can't help.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1907-07-16
No. 1zo.-Historie Americans.

NO. TTV'-TIIstorTc NTHo''Vas'
1. A man who was concession.
2. A man who was network and to
move gently.
3. A man who was a story and an
alternative.
"A man who was honest and also
partly maudlin.
5. A man who was an unfinished
dance.
G. \ man who was a city in England.
7. Cleansing and Il measure.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1907-07-16
STIMULATION WITHOUT IRRITA.
TON.

That is the watchword. That is what
Orino Laxative Fruit Syrup does. Clean
SEES and stimulates the bowels without
irritation In any form. F. A. Shurtleff
& Co.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1907-07-16

Mr.. Winks-(solemuly)-A noted ply
stefan says that deadly bacteria turks In
banknotes, and many diseases, especially
smallpox, are spread that way.
Mrs. Winks-Mercy on us! Give me
all you have. I've been vaccinated, you
know.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1907-07-16

Magistrate-You are charged with be
ing drunk and disorderly; what have
you got to say for yourself? Prisoner
Your Honor, my only excuse is that my
wife is cleaning house; can't you send
me up for ten days?