Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1907-08-08
Mark Twain as a Bowler.

GIOIu NIdTk VAIN = AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN the
North American Review.
More h forty years ago. in San
Francisco. the office staff adjourned.
upon conclusion of it's work at 2 o'clock
In the morning. to Il great bowling es-
Establishment where there were twelve
alleys. l was invited. rather perfume
torily. and as a matter of etiquette-by
which l mean that 1 was invited DO
litely. but not urgently. But when l
dinidently declined. with thanks. and
explained that l knew nothing about
the game. those lively young fellows
became ut once eager and anxious and
urgent to have my society. This flat
tered me. for l perceived no trap, and
1 innocently and gratefully accepted
their invitation. l vas given an alley
oil to myself. The boys explained the
game to me. and they also explained to
me that there would be an hours play.
and that the player who scorde the few
est ten strikes in the hour would have
to provide oysters and beer for the
combination. This disturbed me very
seriously. since IL promised me bank
iruptcy. and 1 was sorry that this detail
had been overlooked in the beginning.
But my pride would not allow me to
back out now. SO l stayed In, and did
what 1 could to look satisfied and glad
1 had come. 1t is not likely that l
looked as contented as l wanted to, but
ahe others looked glad enough to make
up lOA H. " llC we're quite unable
10 hide their evil JOY. They showed me
how to stand and how to stoop. and
how to aim theb ball. and how to let fly:
and then the game began. The results
were astonishing. In my ignorance 1
delivered h balls in apparently every
way except the right one: but no mat
ter-during half an hour I never started
q ball down he alley nat didn' score
a ten strike. every time. at the other
end. The others lost their grip early
and their JOY along with 1t. Now and
then n of them got Q ten strike. but
the occurrence wal SO rare that 1t made
no show alongside OF my giant score.
! The boys surrendered at the end of
ahe half hour. and put on their coats
sand gathered oun me and in cour-
,teous. but sufficiently definite. language
expressed their opinion OF an expert
ence worn and seasoned expert who
would stoop to lying and deception in
order to rob kind and we'll meaning
friends who had put their trust in him
su;ider the delusion that he was hon
lest n honorable. I was rot able to
convince them that l a not lied, for
NOW my character was gone. and they
refused to attach n value Il anything
1 said. The proprietor of the place
stood ny for n while saying nothing,
then he came to my defense. He said:
1T looks like a mystery. gentlemen.
hut II isn't a mystery after It's ex-
tlained. hat is a grooved alley;
you've only to start a ball down 1t any
sxay o please and the groove will do
the rest; II will slam the ball against
the northeast curve of the head pin
every time and nothing can save the
ten from falling down."
1t was true. The boys made the ex-
pertinent and they found that there was
no art that could send a ball down that
alley and fail to score a ten strike with
1t. When 1 told those boys that l knew
nothing about the game I was telling
only the truth: but 1t was ever thus. ali
through my life. whenever 1 have d.
verged from custom and principle and
uttered u truth. the rule has been that
the nearer hadn't strength of mind
enough to believe 1t.