The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-01-02
HE n A GUILD WOMAN WAS sIrTIN' or
A D~OAHSTEP."

was turned, and he has nebber looked
down on me kase de Lord made me
black instead oh white. We was talk
In away and respectin' each odder
when in busted Giveadam Jones. He
was all logged out in patent leather
and a red necktie, and he per
ceeded to swell out his chest and call
dat feed stoh man Tom and order him
to send up 10 cents worth of mashed
oats in a hurry. You'd hev thought
Brudder Jones owned de airth and dat
de hull United States was gwine to tin
ober If he didn't git dem oats mighty
quick. He felt hisself bigger'n a brick
house and Of mo- Importance dan a
governor. but arter he went out dat
feed stoh man called him all sorts O
names and predicted dat he'd come
down to airth wild an awful smash be-
TO de year was out. He wasn't i'm
pressed or imposed on a leetle bit.
"Some few weeks ago Brudder Shin
dig Watkins had de griefness to lose
his wife. She was his third wife, but
when his club learned de sad news 1t
took right holt jest de same as If she
had been his first. 1t sorrered. 1t
bought flowers. 1t clipped in $50 in
cash. Mo- dan fifty Of us attended de
funeral. When we returned from de
sad occasion we patted Shindig on de
back and told him dat his loss was
her gain and dat dere was no cloud
widout It's silver linin'. You all re.
member how broken up ne was. Some
Of us said dat he would neber rekive,
from de blow.
"a day or two ago, only six weeks
arter de calamity, I was walking threw
Chipmunk alley, and I stumbled upon
Brudder Shindig. He and a Guild wo,
man was sittin' on Il doahstep. He
had his arm around dat oma and
her head was laid on his shoulder.
When any one tells you dat de white
folks own all de rapid transit bust
ness in de Nentry you Jest remember
dis case.
Three months ago Brudder Pickles
Smith lost his mother by death. She
wasn't no WUSs and no better dan any
odder mans mother. Pickles had our
sympathy. and we Clipped in So5 in
cash besides. Next thing we heard of
him be was arrangin' wild a marble
man to git 4 $500 monument for de
ole He wanted de genuine
article, and he wanted an angel wild
her wings spread on top. He wanted
somethin' to beat de white folks. and
he would have had 1t and been fifty
years payin' for 1t If I hadn't hap
pened to meet him while he was on
his way to clinch de bargain.
"Brudder Phosphate Nickerson blacks
stoves and does whitewushin', and his
average airnings are $40 a week. He
Ibis clus to a white man who Arms
$50. Common sense would tell Rrud-
der Phosphate dat he was no society
swell and wasn't called upon to put
on de frills. Common sense would tell
him dat $50 will go three times as fur
at $40. He don't listen to common
sense. howeber. He and his wife are
tryin' to outshine dat white family.
Dey hev Ice can and angels cake.
Dey buy a bushel Of taters to nee.
DEFY hev a telephone in de house. Dey
swell out on Sunday mawnia's and
try to git de front pew at church. ]
don't know Of two bigger fools in all
de land. and de next time Rrudder
Phosphate comes to my house 70 Dor
row 4 dollar of me l shall institute
proceedin's to make his heart ache.
.Ober dar by de stove sots shutdown
Jackson. When he moved up we're from
Albany five years ago he was a mighty
sensible man. He told ME dat he had