davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26

plural of fruit is fruits. But both grape
and fruit are quantitive terms, and so is
grapefruit. Therefore, we would say, in
referring to quantity, basket of grape,
or basket of fruit; but, IL speaking nu-
merlcally, dozen fruits or dozen
grapes. and hence q dozen grapefruits."
This. reply brings forth the loudest Of
outlaws from the Landmark. "a basket
of grape" indeed The Times-Dspatch is
sent TO the foot of the class, Inundated
beyond understanding, If not dissraced
forever, The Charleston News and
Courier seeks to dodge by saying that the
plural of grapefruit is 'shaddocks,' For
this tritiing and undigniied response, the
South Carolina paper Is reduced ten num-
bers for conduct unbecoming an officer
and q gentleman.
And so 1t goes Like a schooma'am
bent upon stamping the entire class, the
Landmark sits and gloats over the dire
distress of its bcwildered and befuddled
contemporaries. But it's rare good Sport,
for all of that, and it must be fine to be
a member of so light-hearted fraternity.
What's the use worrying about the heavy
problems Of life? They will take care of
themselves, we think To use a homely
phrase, Everything will come out right
in the wash" Why not view the things
of life through prism, that may distort
the view. but nevertheless tints 1t with
rainbow hucs?
We confess a sneaking desire to butt
in upon this inner circle nf the elect,
We know not what dreadful things the
apprenticeship involves. We do not care.
No road is SO dark so awesome. or so
uncertain as to give us pause in our fell
determination to seek full fellowship
therein. We long to dwell whore sweet
dreams the drowsy senses drown, and
where tho nights are
"Iilled with music.
And the cares that infest the day,
Shall fold their tents, like the Arab,
And as silently steal away
What. no, warder! Keeper of the gate
that leads to these enchanted realms of
happiness and sweet content. open and
let a pilgrim in,-Washngton Herald.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26
Taxation and Education.

IN further discussing with The
Times-piapetch Tho income tax, the
Beoford Bulletin says that its objection
70 the income tax law is that it is hot
fairly enforced. III personal properly
taxation says our contemporary, there
is more OF less taS-dodging, but there
IS some senhlance of honesty oven
among the most hardened and the as
SCISSOR can arbitrarily assess everything
in sight whether the taxpayer objects
or not "Rut what is he going do"
asks the Eplletln !p reference to the
income taS2 If the citizen claims he
has no income over $500 ana Is willing
10 swear 70 H. there Is no way for
tae assessor 70 prove the contrary, un-
less. as We stated last week, the citI-
zen draws 2 known states salary from
IN employer. II he Is In hualness. or
farmer. II is almost impossible for
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26
Rhymes for o-Day
Lentils.

Lentils.
n EXT arrivcs Lent, with Its soberer
meaning,
Hurrylng on In It's solemn-llke
way:
Gents. mako the most Of tho time inter-
vening:
Mnidens, DO giddy and gay while you
may!
Come along. ladies' NAMES and Saddles,
Anabels. Clarnbels. Susies and Hates
While there are chances, on with the
dances!
Lent at tho gallop draws near to the
gates.
Blue-stocking ways mean slow and n
blue-step:
Lent gives the word and tho frolicking
hats:
Lalnse, save me my favorite two-step!
Doris, your hand for this ravishlng
waltz!
Times getting shorter; ladies'. We oughter
Gambol and dance to the full Of our
bent.
Eli up the measure! On with our
pleasure
We will bo gay 'gainst the coming of
Lent. II, s. II.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26
Academy-"The Prince of Pilscn.'
Bijou-"Down the Pike"
Bostock s-Wild Animal Show.
MISUNDERSTANDING Rink.

THE Prince Of Pilsen," The merriest
and most tuneful of the many successful
musical comedies of Pixley and Ludcrs,
was given rouslng welcome last evening
at the Academy OF Music.
The theatrical season would not be com
plete without this delightful little opera,
and many of those present last night
were seeing 1t for the third or fourth time.
The cast, the splendid chorus OF male
and female voices, and the elaborate
were all characteristic of the usual SAY
age production. Plyley is at his best
in tho book, and the melodious and catchy
music, familiar TO al! thcatrc-soers, has
made Ludcrs the idol OF the whistling
element.
All the old favorltes were well sung
ana heartily encored. The Tale OF a Sea
Shell, THE Message OF the Violet" >
Tho stein Song. Pictures In the
Smoke" ands"Thc Widow" are the most
popular. and created as much enthusiasm
as WHEN they were first sung here.
Jess Dandy, an unctuous German COM
ediar, is stll Hans Wagner. and lie and
the audience get as much fun out OF his
performance as ever.
Pauline Guzman who was here with the
original company. is the pretty city
widow. and was sprightly and viyacious
enough TO make the baldhead row sit UP
and take Notice.
George Iydecker has succeeded Arthur
Donaldson as the real prince, and has
the necessary requirements for the role
n good figure and n wcll-rounded baritone
voice. Sears Slower makes an acceptable
naval lieutenant, and possesses tenor
of unusua! sweetness and range. Marie
Welsh and j. Eayden-Clarendon repeated
their excellent work as Nellie and Lord
Shrimpton. and Alber,ine Benson is
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26

Richmond is 10. be congratulated upon
the way in which her fire department
met the crisis Tuesday night and Wednes
day. when with anything but the most
brilliant work by the hremen the very
heart of tho beautiful city would probably
ha e been destroyed b. the flames. AS
II 49, the damage is heavy, but it is not
such as to stagger q great and wealthy
community like Richmond 1t was mar
row escapc. in which all Virginia rejoices.
Norfolk Landmark
That Is very neshborly, and we return
thanks. 1t was narrow escape, and
the fire laddies are the toast of the town.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26
DWELLING BURNS.
Sparks Set Fire to Claremont
Observation-Disclosures Also Lost.

Especial to The Times Dfspatch)
CLAREMONT, VA, January 25-A
house belonging to Charles Kesser at
Spring Grove, was totally destroyed
Wednesday afternoon. The house
caught fire from sparks from the Kess-
Ter stave MILL 1t being about fifty
Yards distance from the house. f. S.
Riggan. who is section foreman for the
Southern Railway, occupied the house,
but he not being home at the time
of the fire 1t gained much headwny be-
fore discovery. Most of the household
effects We're lost. The house was
covered by insurance
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26
TWO DWELLINGS BURN.
Farmers OF Carroll County Suffer
Severe Losses on Same Day.

Especial to The Times Dispatch,)
C;T4ADESBORO VA. January ga
few nights since the dwelling of Mr..
furniture destroyed, Mr.. Chappell has
the sympathy OF the nelghbors. There
was no insurance on the building.
The dwelling of Mr. Afford McMlllon
was burned about the same time Mr.,
McNrillon succeeded In getting most
saved 1T from destruction 1t is thought
both houses We're burned accidentally.
Rev. Mr.. Crews, of Kcrnersville IN.
c., preached several times while In this
vicinity.
! Revs. j. Fl. Powers and j W. Wade.
OF the Missionary Church g ho}d &
o enacted nheLne t'a c}
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26
Awakening of the Temperance Spirit.

The temperance fight Is on in dead earn
est, and rho friends OF the movement should
feel encouraged, not for tho outlook In >is
awakening of a temperance sentiment
throughout the country, This movement
has not the aspect of fanatcal excitement
nor tho wild reform that will soon subside
but OF deep, earnest, honest conviction that
has been awakening and growing Tor years,
n conviction that the saloon is n menace
to the home to humanity and 10 good gov
ernment.--B Bristol Herald.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26
A Great Show.

Mr. Tillman recently pictured the United
States Senate as minstrel show. 1t is
more Il is all kiads of a show, as the
following extract from one or it's dai.y
programs win prove.
nprlng the delivery of 4 Speeph by MI.
La Pollntte. q few days since, the follow
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26
ADJUSTMENTS

worthy successor To those who have
played the role of Edith.
Fortunately, the engagement Is not for
one night only, and those who could not
attend last night have tho matinee and
night performances to-day to renew their
acquaintance with the popular success
OF two continents.
Nat G. Goodwin comes to the Academy
of Music on Monday. Mr.. Goodwin's en-
gagcment is for two nights and matt
nee. Monday evening he will present
his latest success THE Genius" Tues
day afternoon his wcll-known play,
When We Were Twenty-One," and Tues
day night What Would a Gentleman
Dor Mr.. Goodwin carries two car
loads of scenery and properties. His
company Is headed by So Edna Good
rich. one OF the most talented young
actresses on tn American stage. Among
other prominent .embcrs of the cast are
William Beach, Nell o'Brien. Ii. G. Longs
dale. Gordon tombstone, NJ II. Snyder
and the Misses Suset Jackson, Rosa Sny-
der, Nellie Mortyne ana Alice Wilson
Lawrence DOrsay, the English tctor.
who made such a great hit on this
side, and who Is to appear at the Acad-
cmy on Wednesday night. was out with
come friends. and they were strolling
ulonG one OF the principal streets of New
York. one OF the number, who was
inclined TO chatting. stepped up to the
friiit-stand Of an Irish woman and point
ing To some large watermelons. said:
What. Don't YOU raise any bigger APP
pies than those in American"
'Apples?" said the woman disdainfully,
sure. anybody could tell We were an
Englishmau. Thems peas
"Checkers's' advance sale for its en-
gagement on Thursday at the Academy
will begin on Monday morning at
o'clock. Though this is the third season
of Checkers" the play has never been
seen in this city. owing to its heavy on
gagements in the big Eastern centres.
The production here Will be practically
the complete New York cast and seem
cry, and with two exceptions the cntirc
original company
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26
FINE POLICEMAN AND
DISMISS Him FROM FORCE

lSpeclal 70 The Times pispatchj
l44NCEiBuRG, VA, January o5.--
Policeman Hogan, who was arrested yes
tcrday for being drunk, was fined this
morning In the Police Court, and this
afternoon dismissed from the depart
ment by the Police Eonrd, He has been
In the department two months
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26
Important People.

Towne-"He seems 10 be quite an in1por-
tant person now Browne-"fou're not
telling anything new He and his family
always We're important" Towne-"Oh
come or" Browne--'It's a fact. He start
cd out as ianitor, his brother is n police
man, and his sister is cook lady."--phlla-
delphia Press.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26
COMMENT OF VIRGINIA EDITORS.


A Popular Plea.
The roads, as is fair and Just, arc 10 be
given chance to demonstrate that the
fixing OF such rate at this time would
be iHcquitabe and injurious, but in our
opinion the commission VIII not find 1t so
and Will meet growing public demand
by making the maximum rate two cents.
il Is generally believed that the railroads
can eaSily afford to stand the reduction
in rates, and that it would result in largely
increased travel, and therefore largely in
creased business all over tho entire State
FEederlcksDurE Star.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26
Nothing Else to shake.

AZ he glanced Mt tho note telling him
that his wife had gone home to her mother
Il convulsive sob shook his frame. And that
was all there was OF him for the convulsivo
sob to shake, inasmuch he was the Iiy-
ing skeleton in dime museum.--Chtcago
News
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26
Decrease in Lynchina.

There is more lynchlng in the North than
in the South. the Northern press to the
contrary Notwithstanding Yet there is more
cause for lynching in the South than in
the North. quick action by the courts have
brought about change. and assaults are
met by quick Justice. People let the law
take Is course. and the victims of brutes
are avenged on the legal gallows.-South-
side NirEImian
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26
erldearoom,s Excuse.

The Brooklyn man who forgot to get his
marriage license in Richmond had some cX-
cuse for The nervousness he caused the bride
and everybody directly Interested. They do
not have to secure u licenae to wed In New
York Stnte.-Ncwport News Press.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26
usiag skatias in 81

ESPECIAL n rt 1.tnNt .aate5
STAl,NTON, Va, j .nuar.i &t-t'3a ,,n
Hugh G. lsraXton, of the Yves, hly-
Guards, is negotiating with j. l.. Baug er
and practically closed the contract, to
uso his large skating rink, on Central
Avenue. for an armory This rink is
situated in n most convenient place for
an armory and the Avenue in front OF
the rink is the widest street in Stanton,
alfording excellent facilities for drilling.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26

Chancellor Day dcclares I'VE are
making ourselves the laughing-stock for
coming generations. Whatever the
chancellor failings, it is evident that he
fully understands the convenience of the
editorial we"
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26
\ Berlin correspondent saws.

a Berlin correspondent saws:
In some rural Catholic districts. where
the Socialists are practically unknown,
Socialist election agents who We're dis
tributing literature have been driven off
with stones and ptchforks.'
What a fine opportunity is here opened
to Senator Tillman for little effective
campaign work.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26

The New orleans Item is fotrishing
under the editorial management of Mr..
James NJ. Thomson. late of tile Norfolk
Dispatch. Editor Thomson made fine
record in Virginia, and If he shows the
same pluck and enterprise in New Or
leans that he displayed in Norfolk he
viii put The Item abreast of the best
papers in the Crescent city. The Times
Dispatch is very fond OF him, and hopes
that he will make as many friends in
Louisiana as no now has in the old
Dominion
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26

TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY,
TAKE I.AXATIvE BROMO Quinlne Tablets
Druggists refund money II 1t falls 70 cure.
y ". GRPVE's signature Is on each box astA
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26

Saint Saens complains that American
society opera is composed of three parts
clothes. The opcra-glass brigade vii!
deem the gentlsman's estimate distinctly
liberal
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26

If. as the indianapolis Star maintains.
Opportunity is knocking at the door of
she has doubtless concluded
by this time that there is nobody at
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26
Feeble

Elliot--"You very seldom hear of fat
criminal, do you?" Dangerield-"Of course
not. Don't you know it Is difficult for Il
Illustrntel Rils
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26
Gle. Being Dead" &C.

Although dead these many years. General
Lee seems to be very much more alive than
many OF the living. And it is that we
distinguish between true fame and that OF
the mushroom variety.--Brlstol Courier.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26

ut does not look as II there will be
any fight for either OF the three seats
In the Legislature from the Eastern
Shore this year" said Commissioner OF
the Revenue j. ID. jacob, OF Accomac,
at the Hotel Allen last night.
II have heard of no opposition to our
House member, Mr.. John Il. Rev, and
do not think there will be any. Mr.
John 4. wilkins, III, who represents
Northampton, will likely be returned
without opposition. and If Senator Gun
ter cares to come back as I hope he
viii. there isn't man on the Shore
could touch him in race. Indeed, 1
do not believe any one would think OF
opposing him.
we have delegation of accomplished
and faithful young men, and our people
seem satisfied for them TO serve again"
Mr.. jacob Is here on business with
The auditors Office. and win be in the
city for several days.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26

There is now movement under way
to secure equal rights for husbands and
wives. Bitter opposition from the mar
rled Indies is. of COURSE ANTICIPATED.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26
MERELY JOKING.
Encouraojnd.

How are you getting on with your suit
at Miss Roxleys7" asked Dudley "Spen-
did, just now" replied Merry. But her
father kicks YOU out every time you call.
doesn't hc?" Eyes, but he doesn't kick as
hard as he used Philadelphia Press.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26

\ Charleston contemporary declares
that Omitted states Senators ought not
to be chosen by accident Mr.. Guggen-
helm, for his part, can doubtless show
the receipts.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26
People Seen in
Public Places

J Speaking OF long-windep speeches and
how to prevent them" remarked a gen
teman at one OF the hotels last night,
Il had little experience not long ago
! on this limo which was quite amusing.
| was presiding over II meeting and
/ there were several set speeches on the
| program ! learned In some way that a
brother not down on the list was loaded
I for bear that he had n volumlnous
manuscript In his pocket, and that when
tho last regular speaker had concluded
1t was his purpose to unload.
II laid for him, and when It was time
| 10 present the last speaker 1 called upon
this would-be orator OF the evening to
introduce him. I could see his feathers
/ fail. but, of course, he could not we'll
decline. so he performed the task as
signed him by the chair in very cred
liable manner, evidently realizing, how
ever, that his opportunity was gone.
Meanwhile had quietly advised somc
one to move an ADJOURNMENT when the
last regular speech WIS concluded. He
did SO. and the motion went through with
y whoop, and Brother went
home with his manuscript unusued in
his pocket. He probably never knew i
was Wise to his game, but I was and
the scheme worked like charm"
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26

''Thp voice of the snowflake is heard
in the land" says the Manchester Union.
Evidently they keep their ears close to
the ground in New Hampshire.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26

The optimistic Baltimore Sun an
nounccs that the Rough Riders have all
heon provided for. But there are their
grandchildren yet.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26

Ing hshly-iluminatlng collouuy took
place:
MIR. Bacon--Tf tho Senator will pardon
me moment, does lie think
Mr.. Spooner--Mr. President, I rise to q
parliamentary inquiry.
Mr.. La Eoilettc--t will yield, Mr.. Pres-
dent.
The Nice-President- senior Senator
from Wisconsin rises to II point OF order.
He will state the point of order
Mr.. Spooner--My colleague yields, and
have no point of order to make
The Vice-President--Tii junior Senator
from Wisconsin yielded, us tho chair i'm
derstood. to the Senator from Iowa. VIII
the Senator from Iowa yield to the Sena-
tor from Georgia?
Mr. La Toletto--I did not yield tho
floor, Mr.. President.
Tho ce-President-Does tho Senator
from Wisconsin yield to the Senator from
Georgia?
y Mr.. Bacon-T thought I was asking the
courtesy of tho Senator from iowa 1
find, however. that he has not the floor
and will not interrupt him.
Mr.. Dolliver-I will very gladly yield
to the Senator from Georgia.
Mr.. Bacon-The floor Is not within the
disposition Of the Senator from Iowa, ana
! will not interrupt him. Tho Senator will
not misunderstood me- II ho were spcnk-
ing in his own time. I would ask the
privilege OF interruptins him.
Mr.. Patterson--Dlr. President
Mr.. Dolivcr--I am certainly q little
confused.
Mr.. Patterson-The senator from Iowa
secured the floor to answer a question
propounded by me-
Mr.. Dollivcr--T then negotiated with the
Senator from, Wisconsin, and found him
not only willing, but apparently eager, to
give the floor to me.
Mr.. Pattefson--But 1 was the Senator
who yielded the floor to the Senator from
Iowa to answer tho question. He did not
negotiate with the right person
Mr.. Dolliver-Mr. President. seeing the
uncertainties of my tenure. / viii take
my seat
Mr.. La Follette-Nr. President ] will
yield tho floor to the Senator from Iowa
/ can resume 1t again.
Tho Vice-Prcsdent-The chair will rec
ognize the Senator from Wisconsin (Mr
In Follette) at the conclusion of the
observation OF the Senator from Iowa
(Nrr. DolliveID The Senator from Iowa
Mr. Dolliver-Mr President
Mr. BaconNlr President if the senn-
tor from wisconsin has Yielded the floor
to the Senator from iowa, / will venture
to ask the privilege Of lnterruptng him.
The Observation-Disclosures the Senator
from Iowa yield to tho Senator from
Georgia?
Mr. Notwithstanding
What senatorial courtesy! Yea. what
consideration! Yea, what pretty parley!
Yea, what parliamentary poppycocls!
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26
From Generation 10 Generation.

My husband has iever ceased talking
sitive woman. Never mind" answered the
wise one; your boys VIII be doing the
same thing after they are married.
Washington Star.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26

Entered. January a. 1908. at Richmond. Va.
as sccond-cass mater. under net OF Congress
OF March 2, 1879
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26

If You happen 10 have SLooo on hand
that isn't working, why not wire to New
York and buy a couple of those marked
down Aldermen?
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26

Hon. 2. p. Buford, commemorative
Attorney of Brunswick county and a
former member Of the House of Dele
gates. spent yesterday in Richmond,
having come here to argue an important
case I'm the State Supreme Court.
lust before leaving for his train Mr..
Buford was seen by n Tines-Dispatch
representative, and asked rs TO the
affairs of his section. He said that but
little. If anything, Of public interest was
going on, and that the political pot had
not started to boil. AIR Buford had not
heard any talk OF probable candidates
for the Legislature. but lie seemed OF
opinion that Uncle Sam CDR r. s.
PowelD would return to the House ii
lie desired to do so.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26
l1hr G]lule5 xs ss. Dispatrh

NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26

We venture the assertion that young
Fairbanks gets his warm blood from his
mothcr's side
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26

1t does seem pretty rough on jamaica
to have both the earthquake and SWEET
tenhNm, TOO.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26

The best thing about being on the cana
commission seems TO be the chance II
offers for promotion to strictly corporate
employ.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-26

The yellow Journalists pen p'ctures'
OF the ThN'N tr'pl scnlcelY merit gold
fraUe In he art sallaries.