The Washington herald., 1907-09-15

"A nice time O. night for you TO be
comm home. Job Shrew. Yes. I've
been sitting up here waiting for you.
right here n this dining-room. The
children, poor dears, long since have
gone TO bed Look at the table That's
right, Cold It is, and cold II stays!
Nearly ! o'clock and dinner was ready
at 6. No, that steak hasn't been
touched Just as it was when ! put
It on the table, It's not that steaks
are shrinking IN size; It's the prices
has gone up-and you, spending your
money, I don't know where-and the
children goiu' hungry They're fat
the children fat, II that isn't just like
you. You know it's their happy dispO-
sitions and not the food you buy EN-.
Lucky for them they inherit a fine,
cheerful nature from my side Of the
house. That's right, sit down and
eat-and I can talk 10 you while you
I'LL up,
Il won't say but what the time was
wasted that YOU didn't come home.
I've been reading the papers while
was waiting for you. II seemed to
me when I read about the pickle that
Loeb is IN, Il kinder took my mind
of my own troubles. Why, the mans
making 50 many enemies he'll be a
Presidential candidate yet, Did you
see where some one sent him an ele-
plants tail I wonder If it was the
Republican elephant-the tail too?
Well, some one had 90 get it,
What noise, How you startled me.
Job, by jumping Ike that. I hope
you're not seeing things at your time
u life. I know you've been reading
about those haunted houses and the
ghosts Why, IL was only little Emily
sn0ring-that child certainly does take
after you in some things. 7 see they
didn't find any ghosts IN that haunted
house. ! never expected EN- 20. for
one. DO you remember when we
lived near ElwoOd how Sister Jane
pabuey came running a mile and a
half over 10 our house, scared by a
ghost2 No, I know you didn't go
not that you we're afraid: YOU were
too tired. But remember Sin Feasav
and Lon Bitner went over 10 the Dab
ney place with sh0tguns-as II YOU
could shoot a ghost-and all they could
find was Sister James chem-weU.
some Of her clothes had blown oTn
the line and were a-flutterIng on the
fence post Uncle Lon told her she
ought % wear black ones an they
wouldn't frighten her 10 death.
Butter all melted, Well. I'm not
going out on the dark porch 70 the
iceboX at this time o. night You
should have come home earlier. Not
but what it's real coy sittin' here
and listening 20 your intelligent talk
about things. never would ha'
thought o. that ghost story II Won
hadn't told me- Thank heaven. though.
I'm not superstltious I don't believe
though Job, I could ha' got married
Ike that couple did, on Friday. 18th.
specially after that awful book Mr..
Lawson wrote about f. That bride
ought 10 ha' known better-lIke's not
she'll find herself shipped of 20 Europe
some day on account Of an affinity,
Poor girl,
Wasn't that great about the big
steamer. the Lucy Tanner. She's the
biggest thing that floats. and It's a
she-mark YOU. She came al the way
from Liverpool IN FIVE days. two
hours, and thirteen minutes. and
twenty-five seconds. and I forget }ust
how many knots she tied or the way
over. She has 100 stater0oms and an
electric elevator IN each room. She IS
fourteen stories high. and It takes
two days 20 walk around her decks.
II Is estimated that II all the rivets
that hold her together were sold for
II cents a pound-or Il may be a ton
they would pay the entire Rockefel-
l-r fine and leave enough over 10
establish two more Carnegie libraries.
She's a wonderful vessel. and as she's
a she it's no wonder she's got a false
keel. ! can't see. though. why they've
placed the smoking-rooms in the waist
Of her, Anyway, it's funny 10 think