The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-12-01
BY HELEN ROWLAND.

Girl. waving the Mere Man 10 a chair,
and squirting critically at the half
trimmed hat she was holding at an angle.
so I'm taking Off the roses and plumes. %
rs Priscilla that kind" inquired the
Mere Man with n wry face
What kind?" The Bachelor Girl laid
the hat in her lap and glanced up ques-
toningly.
The kind that doesn't like roses and
plunes; that doesn't approve. and makes
you feel uncomfortable and"
She's a very nice girl. Mr. Porter. -
interrupted the Bachelor Girl severely
and if she makes anybody feel uncom-
Portable. it's because he knows he In
ferior or In the wrong or not behaving
You viii please not muss up the studio,
nor put your feet on the fender nor
smoke that old pipe. nor tell any OF your
your favorite jokes while she's here. ="
"Umm,' remarked the Mere Mar
thoughtfully What kind Of a nose has
she got?"
"A beautiful nose" returned the Bach
eior Girl. triumphantly. straight and
Grecian and
Il thought so. retorted the Mere Man,
with bitter conviction. L never saw
woman with straight nose who didn't
want TO put man in u straitjacket.
and keep him in a straight line, and lead
him by halter along the straight and
narrow path. Give me a pug or a re
troUsse every time" and he leaned back
luxuriously. pumped his feet on the chair
in front Of him and took out his oldest
and strongest pipe with feeling of de-
licious contentment.
But" protested the Bachelor Girl.
anxiously rubbing her little nose. "Pris-
. ella is very inspiring. A man is always
better for knowing a girl like that"
Yes. but is he any happier" argued
the Mere Man Obstinately. i've known
lots of Priscillas. and the only thing they
ever inspired in me was a desire to get
away as far and as quickly as possible
There are some girls so much like a re-
frigerator that their very presence will
chill whole room. and he shivered.
That" declared the Bachelor Girl.
calmly sticking quill in the hat and
twisting a rOsette around Il. lis because
they are superior A man hates to feel
that anything on earth is superior
Nonsense" broke in the Mere Man.
hastily. "A woman can be superior. with
out wearing her superiority round her
neck like medal. It's the self-suficiency
and the self-absorption Of the Priscilla
sort that get on ones nerves They are
written down with such d large Lam that
they can't see over il into mans mind
and find out what he is thinking. They
are so busy displaying their own tastes
and charms that they have no time to
consult a chaps tastes. They are so busy
saying clever things that they don't stop
TO listen 10 what anybody else is saying
II you tell a good joke they smile vaguely
and cap It with one of their own. II you
pass an opinion they wave Il away as they
would the olives or the salt and dig up
something original The moment you meet
them you feel as if you had been picked
up with pair OF tongs and were being
held of until you had been dsinfected.
A man doesn't like 70 be handled with
longs" And the Mere Man pulled at mis-
pipe with deep disgust.
or course. he doesn't" laughed the
Bachelor Girl He prefers to be handled
like a baby
What The Mere Man sat up and
took his pipe from his mouth.
ITO be figuratively cuddled ard coaxed
and fattered and cooed to and amused
and wheedled. He hates TO be put on
pedestal and kept there. Priscilla goes
about carrying a pedestal with her. and
no man who doesn't ~ on IL Is considered
worthy OF her notice. You wouldn't NJ
on her pedestal. Mr., Porter"
No" agreed the Mere Man. cheerfully.
and If did, I'd. be likely TO fan of.
That's the trouble with pedestals: they re
so slippery that 4; occupies all a fellow
time trying TO keep hts balance on them
They're hard and cold and uncomfort-
And the one thing a man hates in this
world is TO be made uncomfortable. >" cried
the Bachelor Girl. dramatically THE one
thing he can't bear is to feel inferior The
kind Of woman he likes is the one who
viii look up 10 him, even If she has to get
down on her knees to do It: who Will cud-
die his conscience on a downy pillow and
battle mis- Weaknesses in soft light and
feed his conceit with sugar and compH-
ments, and decorate all his accomplish
ments with a halo. The only way for a
superior. Intelligent girl TO be popular is
TO keep her superiority a deep, dark secret
and hide her intelligence under a busheI;
TO find out a mans level and then get
down below il, even if il gives her a
crlck in the back. But Priscilla is too
honest; she wouldn't do that"
No acquiesced the Mere Man sarcas-
tically. shed track a chaps tiniest sins
10 their lair and dig UP all his past follies, |
and prod his conscience into painful ac-
ton and prick him with disapproval Why
can't a girl be good herself without trying
TO reform the world? Why can't she have
cleverness and character without getting
up on top of them and posing there?
Ugh" and he knocked his pipe on the |
chair impatiently. That kind OF girl is |
like a pincushion. You can't 20 near her |
without getting a dig OF some sort And |
she can't get near you, because her vir- !
tues and opinions are sticking out at
every angle. and before you can find /
out what's in her you get a jab and are |
running away.
''Oh, WE'LL began the Bachelor Girl. |
hopefully. when Priscilla marries--''
But she never WILL. declared the Mere |
Man, unless she finds somebody so soft |
and easy and mushy that he is incapable |
of feeling a pin prick or a dig. That's |
why so many Of the incest girls are either |
old maids or tied to a bare excuse OF |
husband They start out early in life |
with collection of ideals 50 high that no !
man can ever reach I'D 70 them or get |
over them or round them or past them" !
And they end, finished the Bachelor |
Girl, with little shake Of her head. "by |
paying their own rent and gas bills and |
laundry bills.
''Or. added the Mere Man. by marry |
ing NJ nar-r1nn h M snr,nttn ~ ...,l