The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-05-02

resignlng every Few days now, instead OF
dying.
When the governor OF North Carolina
meets the governor Of South Carolina
these days. the prescribed remark is. It's
a long time between sarsaparillas."
There may be no plural 70 grapefruit.
but what is the singular Of caviare?" asks
the New York Mail. Well. If you should
order il and get the real article. that
would be singular.
One of the Chicago city departments
shows a surplus of l cent. That is about
as much of a surplus as it is safe for a
government department TO acknowledge.
Nine years ago yesterday Admiral
Dewey 'Sundayed in Manila Bay and
paved the way for purchasing one OF the
most beautiful gold bricks this glorious
country ever saw.
Former Senator Marion Butler has also
seen a conspiracy" though why a con
spiracy'' should be caught loafing around
in his vicinity is hard 70 understand.
A syIph-like Georgian Weighing $40
EUAtitA1 AAaa hEAA4AFL lENA tie SFa tt
matrimOny. II he isn't very careful, he
will surely swamp the boat
Honest Living Counts is a headline in
the Pittsburg Gazette-Times. OF course.
the article does not refer to the Boni de
Castellane variety.
Just as we feared. that Chattanooga
speech has caused some one to dig up that
old and far-fetched Hearst (Iearse)-
Graves" near-jOke.
1t is to be presumed that the ticket
.scalpers will be rigidly ruled of the
"Warpath' al jamestown.
"Woman's head literally bursted from
headache" says the Atlanta Journal. Liz
orally. perhaps, but certainly not gram
matically.
Col. Louis Isaula has been dismissed
from the army of Honduras. This I'M
doubtedly creates a tremendous vacancy
in the army.
Life is a Sahara" says the Nashville
American. Knew this was true in Knox
VILE but did not know that Nashville was
talking that way yet.
1t is announced that 5 per cent OF the
British baronets are bogus. There ought
to be an international law compelling
kingdoms 10 properly label their baro-
nets, barOns, dukes, counts, earls. and
things.
Mr.. W. T. stead says he does not
think much" of Chicago. However.
that much" is doubtless more than Chi
cago thinks of Mr. Stead.
Remember. you "R" not supposed to
indulge in the tempting blvalve again
until September.
Mayor schmitz says he expects to be
very particular as 60 his associates In
the future, which indicates that the said
associates viii not be.
''The steamship Atlantis chased
whale ten miles, and was beaten" says
the Buffalo Express. Undoubtedly this
was Charlestons lost whale hurrying
back home.
The editor Of the esteemed Atlanta
Journal has denounced the publisher Of
the equally esteemed Atlanta Georgian
as common Idhcf- ne latter RenlIH-
man might vary the customary You're
another" by designating his denouncer
as an uncommon faker"
Uncle joe Cannon is reported TO have
designated some one recently as "A darned
fool" But Uncle Joe" is not "darned"
a little molIycoddlish, as good, old-fash-
Toned explosives 60.
Mr.. Bryan says his present weight is
pa pounds. A race between Mr.. Bryan
and Mr.. Taft would be no feather
weight affair in any sense of the words.
The Ohio State Journal is dreaming
dreams Of peach cobbler and SIGH
things" It's hard to awake from dream
Of that kind only TO find the press re-
porting the peach crop all killed
There are 131 holidays every year in
Mexico. The life of the Mexican letter
carrier and bank clerk must be one
grand, sweet song.
Monarchies are ungrateful, as we'll as
republics. Not long since Mr.. Andrew
Carnegie expressed the opinion that EN-
peror William is the greatest man in the
world: and now the German Reicbstag
has severely denounced one of the
"Laird's' speeches.