The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1907-08-11
the GENTLE CRATER
sYo. HENRY.
lnnocents oil, Broadway.

phe ., .. Mcclure Co. ~.
Il hope some day to retire from business
said JEFF Peters; ~and when L do l don
want anybody tobe able tosay that ! ever got
n dollar of any mans money without giving
him a duid pro rata for IL. I've siways
nry~~ged to leave "A customer some little
gewgaw 10 paste in his sdrapbook or stick
h.t,-esn his Seth Thomas clock and tbs
wall after we are through trading. ,.- .'
There was one time ] came, near having
to break this rule Of niue and do profigats
ard LlsIdable action but vpssayed frosR
il by the laws and statutes VI our great
and profitable country. ,, a--"yf ,uS =
sOne summer me and ANDY Tucker my
partner, went 10 New York TO lay in our
annual assortment OF. clothes aud gents
furnishings. We was always polnpous and,
regardless dressers, finding that looks
vent further than anything else. IN our
business, except maybe. our knowledge, Of
railroad schedules and an Autograph phot2
of the President that Loeb sent us, probably,
by mistake. Andy wrote a nature letter
once. and sent IL in about animals that he
had seen caught in a trap lots. nf times,
Loeb must have read it 'triplets,' and sent
the photo. Anyhow il was useful to US 70
show people as a guarantees Of good faith.
ME and Andy never cared much to do
business in New York. IL was too much
like pothunting. Catching suckers in that
Town is like dynamiting a Texas lake for
bass. All you nave to do anywhere be-
tween the North and East rivers is to stand
in the street with an open bag marked,
Drop packages Of money here. No checks
or loose bills taken You have a cop,
handy to club pikers who try TO chip in,
- D...Nn. n.nSawg
and that's all there Is to New York for q
hunter who loves his profession. So ma.
and Andy used TO iuxtpnture fake the towns
We'd get out our spygiaAses and watch
tho woodcocks along the Broadway swamps.
putting plaster casts on their broken legs,
n then we'd sneak away without firing
a shot.
One day in the papier naehe palm room
Of a choral hydrate and hops agency in a
side street about eight inches of Broad
way me and Andy had thrust upon us the
acquaintance of a New Yorker. We had
beer together until we discovered that each
Of US knew a man named Hellsmith, travel
ling for a stove factory in Duluth. This
caused MS 10 remark that the world was a
very small place. and then this New Yorker
busts his string and takes off his tin foil
t1lu htFlSiOl IfhO ihk NV btuh 70 ~ hNAhe
us his Ellen ferries, beginning with the
time he used To sell shoelaces to the Indians
on the spot where Tammany Hall now
stands.
This New Yorker had made his money
keeping q cigar store in Beekman street.
and he hadn't been above Fourteenth street
in ten years. Moreover. he had whiske rs.
and the time has gone by when a true sport
will do anVthinn IN n man with whiax ara
No CRATER except n boy who is soliciting
subscribers to an illustrated weekly 10 win
the prize air rife. or a widow, would have
the heart TO tamper with the man behind
with the razor. He was a typical city Reub
I'd bet the man hadn't been out of nght
If n OK yscrapsr in t~wenty-fve years. "
We'll, presently this metropolitan back
woodsman pulls out a roll of bills with an
old blue sleeve elastic fitting tight around
il, and opens it ny.
There's $500. Mr.. Peters, says he.
showing il over the table to me. saved dur
ing my fifteen years Of business. Put that
in your pocket and keep it for me. Mr..
Peters. I'm glad to meet you gentlemen
from the West. and l may take a drop too
much. want you TO take care OF my
money for me. Now. let's have another
beer.
You better keep this yourself says I
We are strangers to YOU, and o can't
trust everybody you meet. Put your roll
back In your pocket says I. And you'd
better run along home before some farm
hand from the Kaw River bottoms strolls
in here and sells you a copper mine
"'Oh. l don't know says whiskers. I
guess Little Old New York can take care
of herself. I guess I know a man that's
on the square when I see him. I've always
found the Western people all right. ask
YOU as a favor. Mr.. Peters says he. to
keep that roll in your pocket for me. I
know a gentleman when ! see him. And
now let's have some more beer p,
In about ten minutes this fall Of mama
leans back in his chair and SHORES. Andy
looks at ne and says: I reckon I'd better
stay with him for five minutes or So. in
case the waiter comes in 49, -t
Il went out the side door and walked
half "A block UP the street. And then /.
came back apd sat down at the table.
Andy says I. I can't do 1t. It's too
much like swearing of taxes, can't
90 of with This mans money without doing
something to earn it like taking advantage
Of the Bankrupt act or leaving a bottle Of
scnema lotion in his pocket TO make 1t look
more like a square DEAL %. .,.. g. .
well says Andy. IL does seem kind
Of hard on ones professional pride TO lope
on with a bearded pard's competency,
especially after he has nominated you
custodian Of his bundle in the sappy insou-.
Glance Of his urban differentiation. Sup
pose we wake him up and see II we can
formulate some commercial sophistry by,
which lie will b. enabled to give us both his
money and a good excuse -,
I'VE wakes up whiskers. He stretches
himself and yawns out the hypothesis that
he must have dropped OF for a minute,
And, then he says he wouldn't mind sitting
in at a little gentleman's game Of poker.
He used TO play some when he attended
high school in Brooklyn; and as he was out
for a good time. why-and 80 forth ,,,~s .
Andy brightens up a little az that, for
it looks like il. might be a solution TO our
FINANCIAL troubles. So we all three 90 to
our hotel further down Broadway and
have the cards and chips brought N TO
=. II