The Washington herald., 1907-01-20


and tell me how to-entert5in a mani
Kitty" I protested. rs there any
man you can't-I shall can for help" I
added, severely. as she unblushingly drew
the curtains in front Of US and settled
her pink organdie rufles in a corner.
That's what I'm doing" exclaimed
Kitty, reproachfully. land you won't an
swer. Look and she pointed to card
in her hand. I've got to go in TO dinner
with a college prOfessoT-and don't know
an ology from an ism. Suppose he should
ask me the square root of the hypothenuse
or why Rome fell or who invented VIOLA
puk?"
He Will be much more likely" I re-
piled, TO ask you to eat a philopena, or
when he may call, or if you like violets
Or"
IF 1 had only been born a converse
tionalist"' sighed Kitty, abstractedly
chewing the stem Of a pink rose and
treating my remarks with disdain.
Thank Heaven you weren't" I ex-
claimed fervently.
1t would be such 4 comfort" pursued
Kitty, without noticing me, ito know
what 10 say to all men at all times, upon
all topics"
1T might be- acceded, for you-but
not for the men"
''What?'' Kitty nearly dropped the mu-
tilated rose
There is nothing" I explained. catch
ing the rose and gently restoring II. that
drives the average man to distraction or
suicide or a mad desire FOR escape so
quickly as the woman conversationalist;
the woman who always has something 10
say and keeps on saying it; the woman
who has little batteries of scintillating
remarks stored away in the center of her
brain and sets them of like fireworks
for everybody's delectation. It's the wo-
man who knows what not 10 say and
when not to say it who is the comfort"
I added with a sigh
"And who plays audience most eff
fectively and gives a man n chance TO do
his own little monologues. agreed Kitty
seornfuIy.
And who doesn't try to take the center
of the conversational stage and who never
steps on his mental corEs." appended
cheerfully
And who leaves him delighted with
himself and wondering If he couldn't teach
Mark Twain something about wit"
And feeling so exhilarated," I finished
enthusiastically. that he wants 10 get
back to her five minutes afterward"
And ] always believed" reflected
Kitty. gazing thoughtfuny at the curtain
pole, that little cleverness was vir-
tue-even in a woman"
a little cleverness," I remarked. adj
dressing the curtain pole myself, makes
q woman fool She's Ike the man with
q little knowledge; she can't help show
ing Of And there's nothing quite so
deadly uncomfortable as the woman who
shows on; the woman who IS constantly
making such a strenuous effort TO be
brilliant that she fOrgets the person Ehe
is talking 70 and continues flashing her
witticisms through a transparent medium
composed Of his head and body. The con
versational game is like checkers or chess.
each player wants his move. The woman
who insists on playing solitaire is likely
10 finish by playing Old Maid The most
shocking discovery a man can make IS
that the woman with whom he is talk
ing knows more than ne does and can
say il more quickly and easily 1t strikes
him dumb-but not with admiration. What
he likes is the sort of woman who has
joke or his story and appreciate II. The
woman who listens abstractedly. smiles
patronizlngly, and then proceeds to 20
him one better leaves him feeling like a
wave that has been cut in the middle
He knows he's been checkmated, and he
resents It,"
But" protested Kitty, chewing a rose
leaf very thoughtfully, its awfully hard
TO pretend You sec the point-when there
isn't any"
''What?' Ny eyes dropped from the
curtain pole to Kitty with a figurauve
thud
And with some men," she proceeded
ignoring me- the conversation IS bound
10 be solitaire or a series of painful
pauses and agonizing mental gymnastics
in your search for something TO say next,
and when you do say it you wish you
hadn't and
And then you plunge in pell-meH." I
interrupted, sympathetically, and tell
everything you know and lots YOU don't
know. until you suddenly discover that
you are driveling Ike phonograph
And that the one thing you really do
want to say is good-by,' " finished Kitty
tragically.
And yet" I remarked, leaning back
and regarding Kitty from an angle that
made her look exactly ike a Christmas
doll, I've seen you talking for hours with
that cheerful idiot from Harvard"
I wasn't talking. Mr.. Curtis inter
rupted Kitty hurriedly; L was merely
listening. he was talking ubOut-about-I
football" Kitty hesitated.
Anything else?' / asked. looking ut
Kitty sternly.
Kitty bit off a leaf of her rose and
looked out Of the window.
Anything else?" repeated inexorably.
Kitty studied her rose very silently
Anything
Kitty dropped the rose and got hurriedly
up from the window seat.
Never mindi" I cried, penitently. !
know Your eyes"
Yes. it was my eyes" broke in Kitty
warmly, and my hair, and himself. and
his conquests, and his dog. and his auto
mobile. and the fish he'd caught, and
the game he'd shot and-and-"
And yet you ask me for advicer'
cried reprOachfully. as Kitty sank back
exhausted into her corner when a
woman IS clever enough TO hunt around
in the dark and press the right button
and turn on the conversational cur
rent"
And then can sit back and watch it
shine" interpolated Kitty.
she can make any man living talk like
Mare Antony 1 finished triumphantly
And II she can't find any other but
ton, added Kitty thoughtfully, there is |
always the man himself, and he will talk
about that for hours, without firing"
I dropped the tassel Of the curtain with /
which had been toying.
Il don't suppose" I suggested. mildly. |
that there was ever a woman who en-
ioyed talking about herself"
If there We're. responded Kitty. wav-
ing her rose dramatically, there isn't |