The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22
<rVyYyELL, SfR," said MT. Dooley, ]" 'th' fleet has started fir W tn Passyfick."

LII tdSSyuCh.
 "So I sec" said MT. Hennessy. "I hope tn good fellows will get there all right"
 50 do l." said MT. Dooley, but, as tn pa-apers say, have ivry confidence in Bob Evans on tn ocean as l hope he has in me on tn dhry land. For chinitely, him an his gallant fellows are all goin' out to tn Philippeens or wheriyer they're goin' in ships. If they attimpted to march down we might expict to hear iv casualties on tn way. It is akelly forchinite that tn ocean at this time iv tn year is very full iv water. Annyhow, Bob Evans says he can do it, an lave it to him.
 But 1t looks as though our frinds in Europe weren't as sure about it as I am. I've been readin' what those admirers and well-wishers iv ours has to say about it. Says a Fr-rinch pa- aper: "rh' foolhardiness iv Prisident Rosenfelt in sinding this vast array lv boats over such an expense iv water cannot be too much comminded. Few iv our readers ralize what an awful lumpy thing tn ocean is when aroused, but we who have crossed tn accursed c.annel know tn terrors iv tn deep, an we can on'y say firm our own ex- reeryence we hope tn American fleet did not ate too heavy breakfast be- fure embarkin'' Tn German fleet pre- diets that tn fleet will break down be- fure it gets we'll out iv tn harbor. Tn Rooshyan press thinks a mistake was made in dischargin' tn Jap'nese cooks, who will now desthroy tn nation De stayin' here an cookin' fir American families.
 But 1t is firm our English cousins, thim devoted an warrum-hearted hands acrost tn sea, that tn fleet gets tn greatest send-off.
 "'We feel deeply sorry says wan iv thim, to think iv what is goin' to hap. pen to this here misguided armada. In tn first place, they're not English ships, an tn crews. are onprepared fir fghtin', niver havin' been given tn knee drill. They are infeeryor shots. Tn prevailin' commercial dishonesty in America undoubtedly has filled their shells with excelsior an sawdust. No doubt our intilligint little allies, tn Japs, has put pinch or two iv dynny- mite into their coal befure they took it aboord. We gloomily predict that be tn time they get to Rio Janierio Ill bottoms iv their old lumber hook CTS will be covered over with barna- cless, clans, sea-weed, an dead fish, so that they won't be able to move. This may save thim, but we wudden't be surprised if tn injanyous Japs shud come down tn Passyfick, run lightly through tn Straits iv Magellan, dash up tn coast iv South America, catch Evans an his foolish fleet sloppin' around in tn sea iv Sarah Gussey an sink thim all with wan iv thim turrible torpedoes that tn Japs alone know tn secret iv, which, fired firm tn windows iv their ships, bounces firm wan iv tn inimy's boats to tn other, desthroyin' each in turn, an thin returns almost as good as new to the pocket whince it came. But this may be too good to be true. At prisnt our wan best bet is that tn fleet will sink in tn Straits iv Magellan, turbulent body iv cold water, full iv rocks, frogs, cabstands, Flying Dutchmen, boats an other ob- iects dangerous to thraffic. This dhreadful passage that has not been used except be schooners in tn Chiny trade fir years undoubtedly will end tn bombastic attimpt iv silly peo-