davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-27
THE WALL OF AN. UN1dJoky MAN.

l. 9
was ever thus: since chfldhood,s day
MY speculations never paw.
nave to toll for all my cash.
l never played a slot machine
ana even got a poor cigar:
l toVed when I was II,
"A sirl who was too old by far.
AT % I loved again
tn haore dearly than I'd loved before;
r rS sirI was too young for me then,
one was child, or little more
w nen invest in stocks they slump,
7,. no matter what conditions are;
me moment that I sell they jump.
ana Keep on till they're gone to par
II snouid play horse to win.
he fall dead at the quarter-pole:
II there's fly to tumble in
Inc SOUP, get 1t in my bowl
When arrive in heaven I'll bet
NJ l II learn with feelings of despair
mat could have been CAV and vet
Haye had hearty welcome there
> =. k1ser In the Chicago Record-Her-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-27

Seattle is the next town that will
fall down in ths worlds fair business
only there is possibility that Seat
.le won't fall down.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-27

A short grass paper accuses the State
journal Of trying to elect Stubs COVER
nor. The accusation is untrue. This
paper is not trying to elect Mr.. Stubs
% anyone else governor at present.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-27

PROJECTORS at lola went 50 deep
that they struck sulphur. Some peo-
pie are also inclined to believe that
lola Is IN the birthstone locality.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-27

Presidential booms," remarks an Elk
change, ARE very common" But no
the brand that Taft has.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-27

The Thaw case won't come up for tt
second trial till January. Harry won
eat his Christmas dinner with his wife
this time, either.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-27

M-Secretary Shaw tells the people
that the country is safe. But the people
know Il already. Why doesn't Mr.. Shaw
so back and tell It to wall Street.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-27

Kansas raised only 100000 BUSH
els OF wheat this year, which many
people regard as q failure" What
do yea suppose would be the size of a
FeaIfy good wheat crop IN Kansas2
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-27
FOXY BEN.

The spirited shrieks which the Hon.
BENJAMIN Ryan Tillman has been
emitting or is said to have emitted in
his travels among the Iowans must be
set down to advertising account. A
clever citizen is Captain Ben. He has
Artemus Ward-New York Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-27

The thought that Governor Hoch was
thinking when he wrote that letter tc
the railroad board was all wool and q
yard wide
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-27

Tfllman IS angry at the newspapers OF
iowa. Those Iowa newspapers appear
70 be doing their duty.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-27

Il appears that Attorney General Jack
son has got hold Of some exceedingly
embarrassing questions
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-27

: Now watch the Taft boom harder than
ever during his absence.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-27
N HIS ELEMENT.

Automobiles are being sold in Bor-
neo- The wild man will be right in
his element as a chauffeur.-Atlanta
Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-27

&c fs said that Foraker has replied
to Taft, but his reply never made a rip
pie.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-27

The two-cent fare Is coming. IT'S Just
around the corner.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-27
ALSO COMEDIES

The season at the seashore is not
without its awful tragedies.-Balti-
more American
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-27
KANSAS COMNENT

RAISING APPLES IN KANSAS.
A question which formerly extensive
apple producers in Kansas are SER
ously taking home to themselves Is,
Does it pay to attempt to raise apples
on large scale for market? A
dozen answers to that question would
supply wide variety OF answers. eS-
| terday a resident OF LeaVenWortn
the apple shipping industry was an
important thing annually at Big
Stranger, near which are locateo the
WellhouSe orchards. TralnlodQ dIeer
in the good years as rapidly as cars
could be provided. and there were our
ing the harvest season great heaps or
apples along the tracks awaiting
while has Kansas had bumper fruit
year. Last fall. however. the apple
crop was by no means an lnslgnlncanl
one. All for which market could De
found were sold and untold thousands
of bushels were allowed to lie until
they rotted. Apple prices were SO wen
controlled by the commission men that
there was very little money IN them
for the producers. In paramount
township in Leavenworth county many
acres of orchard have been ploWed up
and many other trees Will be cut down
before winter arrives. Apples are not
a reliable crop and no longer yleld the
occasional big returns that they did
formerly. So the land will be planted
to something else that Will be reason
ably sure to bring in some money
every year. Does this mark the begin
ming of the passing of all the immense
apple orchards for which Kansas mas
become noted ?-Leavenworth Times.
FROM WALL STREET.
"All Is prosperous in the harvest
fields and everywhere except in Wall
street." says a financial report. Any
hope of getting unemployed men from
Il I, fr1c-r 7fNtn ant
forces in the harvest fields ?-Law- |
renee World.
BACK NUMBERS.
The Curry in the wall street
last week wasn't even felt in Pratt and |
the farmers here continue to bank /
their money and wear the same smile |
that will not come off. The facts are
that Wall street. the great Red Dragon |
and the Seven Financial Consp1rac1es |
are all back numbers. and most any |
Pratt county farmer can buy them !
for his museum II he takes notion
Pratt Republican.
ALL RIGHT.
We rise to observe that the telegraph !
key is the key to the situation In the
present trouble.-Topeka Journal. Cor
rect. Sit down again.-Lawrence World.
BILL HACKNEY AGAIN.
Somebody is always running Bill
for something. This time the
statesmen" at Topeka who tell us what
to do, (and we generally do it, until the
truth finally dawns on US that we are
making asses of ourselves, and then we
rise up in our might and kick the
whole smear" over). are running Bill
for state senator in the interest of Sen
ator Long. We hope Bill will again
come to his own rescue. by declaring,
in good reasonable newspaper dope, that
If he runs for state senator, 1t will not
be in the interest of Senator Longs cam
didacy for United States senator, or any
other mans neutrality-suspicious. City
Traveller.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-27
THEN CoNvERT TURKEY.

The indications are that the worlds
reserve stock of barbarism will soon
pc reduced by the conversion Of Mo-
cco.-Philadelphia Inquirer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-27
BOTH ARE HARD UP.

A treaty having been completed be-
tween Russia and Japan, both coun-
tries are now prepared to go right
ahead and borrow all the money they
an.-Indiana polls News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-27
HUNOR OF THE Day

Stella-"Is she a Daughter of the
American Revolution" Bella,-"No
indeed; merely a cousin Of the recent
Cuban one."-Harper's Bazaar
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-27

WHAT'S THE USE. ANYHOW?
Wife has a hard time now te1e-
graphing home for money.-Balti-
more Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-27

poor mani" exclaimed the benevo-
lent old lady. And you say you have
no friends?" 'No, madam" replied
the weary wayfarer; "I used to be a
baseball umpire. "-Philadelphia Rec
ord.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-27
BACK NUMBERS.
ALL RIGHT.

We rise to observe that the telegraph
key is the key to the situation in the
present trouble.-Topeka Journal. Cor
rect. Sit down again.-Lawrence World.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-27

Lawyer-"When the defendants
wife left home. have you reason tc
think she went to the suburbs in the
Interim" Witness (contemptuously)
Law me, no. She went in the five.
cent trolley. American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-27

Young Mr.. Jones-"Dad, you're ali
right in your way. but you're an old
fogy." Old Mr.. Jones-''Well, it comes
natural. I remember that my father
was one when I was your age
Cleveland Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-27
GETTTNG YOUNG.

Grover Cleveland has been improv-
ing in health so RAPIDLY and for SO
long time. according to the dis
patches that now he must be almost
incredibly robust.-Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-27
WEALTH.

Mingled with the arraignment Of
ill-gotten gain there is much canting
criticism of all wealth. The man who
rises from poverty to independence by
honest dealing, SO far from deserving
envy, hatred and all uncharitable-
ness, is entitled to public respect 1t
is the duty of the poor man, so far as
in him lies. to improve his estate. 1t
is as incumbent upon such a man to
accumulate money honestly as 1t is
upon the ignorant to gain knowledge
In the railing accusations against
wealth in certain quarters 1t is as
sumed that all fortunes are in some
sense tainted" The virtue of wealth
turns upon the means by which it is
acquired and the uses to which 1t is
applied.-Philadelph Ledger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-27
How Lincoln Heard of Lees Surrender


Mrs. Lincoln had returned to City
Point with party which included SEN
ator Sumner and Senator and Mrs Har-
Ian. They made a visit to Richmond
accompanied by Captain Penrose while
the president remained at City Point
the guest of Admiral Porter, until the
9Th. Then, having heard of the injury
to Secretary Seward when he was
thrown from his carriage in a runaway
accident. he felt that he must go back
to Washington. He had intended to re-
main until Lee surrendered.
We reached home Sunday evening, the
9Th. The presidents carriage met us at
the wharf. There Mr.. Lincoln parted
from Co plain Penrose; he took the cap
tain by the hand and thanked him for
the manner in which he had performed
his duty. Then he started for the White
House.
The streets were alive with people, all
very much excited. There were bonflres
everywhere. We were all curious to
know what had happened. Tad was so
excited he couldn't keep still. We hat
ed the carriage and asked bystander.
What has happened?"
He looked at us in amazement, not
recognizing Mr.. Lincoln:
why. where have you been? Lee has
surrendered WIN. H. Crook, in Har-
per's for September.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-27
THAT IS ENOUGH.

AS long as the father of John D
Rockefeller is the father of John D.
what occasion can there be for dig
ging up anything else about the ole
man kansas City Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-27

"Ah!" said the doctor. you ride
great deal in the trolley cars, you
say?" Eyes, sir" replied the new
patient. at see. Your trouble is due
to your sedentary habits. Now, wher
you're at work. what do you do?'
I'm motorman. "-Philadelphid
Press
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-27
AssaiIing the Humble Prune.

1t cannot be denied that the prune
is nutritious. If 1t were not, whole
generations of boarders would have
variety of favor. A dish of stewed
prunes tastes the same in all climates
and in all ATTITUDES. Other fruit
charms by its variety of flavor. Ap-
pies for instance, differ as much in
flavor as vinegar and molasses. The
trouble with the prune is that it leaves
nothing to the Imagination. A man
learns as much about its flavor by eat
ing one prune as by eating all the
prunes in creation. This sameness is
a fatal defect. Surprises Turk even in
boarding house hash, but not In
prunes.-Rochester Democrat and
Chronicle. i
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-27

Mercy, where does all that pro-
family come from"
From Bingley's garage. He's in
there trying to tinker up his car in
time to get to church."-BrooklyD
Eagle.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-05-02

any form. Had they known OF 1t they
would have told something Of 1t in the
mass Of records that has come down
to us, for surely an act which CONVEYS
such pleasure could not have been for
gotten.
THE earliest form of the kiss is
that which we know as the sniff kiss.
This is a smelling, usually of the
head. The father of a newborn son
shifted his head that his DAYS might
be long and that honors might come
to him. Returning from a journey. he
shifted the heads of his children in
the same manner.
Gradually with this sniff kiss there
came also a caress, a touching usual.
ly of the head, Gradually, also. the
endearment came to be applied TO
others than children. The rubbing Of
noses, which has persisted in some
tribes, was probably an intermediate
process in the evolution.
with the development of the GEM
Inc kiss the sniff kiss disappeared.
never to reappear. 1t had served IT'D
purpose and soon was forgotten
Thus the sniff kiss proves The moth.
or and father of all kisses Blessed
be the sniff kiss.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-05-02

acres, dividing 1t up into allotments
of is acres each and letting it at a
nominal rent, calculated according to
the estimated value of the land, which
has, as 1t were, four classifications,
the highest quit rent being placed at
1920 and the lowest at 40 cents an
allotment, free Of local rates and taxes
for ten years.
zone OF the chief difficulties to be
overcome before making the allot-
ments was to deal with the proprie-
tary right of ~beekeepers, who cen
turtles ago had certain privileges con
ferred upon them whereby they did a
thriving trade in honey and wax. This
trade has in later times diminished,
owing to the destruction of the floral
produce of the land, chiefly by firing
when portions thereof were cleared
for wheat and other cereals. Matters
have been amicably settled for the
beekeepers and the embryo agricul-
turists. The success of the scheme as
FAR as 1t has gone has stirred the am
bition Of the residents In a large part
Of the north Of Portugal, where a
project on similar lines IL being set
ION foot to bring back into cultivation
something Ike half a million ceres.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-05-02
CONSOLATION FoR REPUBLICANS
Can Rehuke the Trusts by Voting
with Democrats.

As che people do not take kindly
to Taft, Foraker, Cannon. Fairbanks,
Hughes and the other favorite sons,
there are riany Republicans who turn.
to Mr.. Roosevelt as their only logical
candidate .or president But she
president having declared that he will
not be a candidate, and other ambi-
tious gentlemen having taken him a.
his word, he has to all inquiries about
his denomination reiterated the state
ment issued by him on the night OF
election day, 1904, when he said:
"On the 4th of March next shall
have served three and a half years,
and three and a half years constitute
my first term. The wise custom which
limits the president to two terms re.
CARDS the substance and not the form.
Under no circumstances will | be a
candidate for or accept another NOM
nation"
There is nothing equivocal about
that statement, for President Roose-
welt has not only declared he will not
be a candidate, but also that he will
not accept another nomination If it
should be offered to him. 1t is evil
dent that President Roosevelt ex-
poets to dictate the nomination OF
his successor, although he has not
openly declared whom he favors.
Some think it is Taft. others Hughes,
and others LaFollette, but none seem
to fill the bill, because it is very
doubtful if any of them a be elect
ed. This extraordinary state of af-
fairs shows how subservient the Re-
publican politicians have been to the
corporation and trust influences, and
how greatly those influences still do.
inmate the Republican party. At
least two-thirds of all the Republican
members of the United States senate
are said to be so controlled, and the
membership of the house, If the ques-
ton of patronage was eliminated,
would undoubtedly be in the same
proportion, A large majority of the
national committee and the same ra,
tic of the state committees pin their
faith to the contributions of the
trusts and corporations to keep them
in power. Indeed, the evidence shows
that even the reformers marked with
the Roosevelt branding iron, are not
averse to calling upon their trust
and corporation friends, although
pretending to be fighting these octopi
To honest Republicans there is this
consolation to offer, that any candi
date whom the Democrats will nom.
mate is certain to be free from the
corporation faint, and will thus prof.
fer a certain escape from the tangled
skein their own party has created in
its efforts to carry water on both
shoulders. The fact that the cor.
porations and the tariff protected
trusts are bitterly opposed to Demo
cratic success and that no scandal is
whispered of trust and corporation
constitutions hanging to the skirts
Of the party, is a fair guaranty o.
the honesty and good intentions Of
the Democracy for what the people
dasire-curbing the trusts and contro
OF the corporations that have beer
plundering them.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-05-02
ORIGIN OF III KISS
Its Earliest Form--The caress Of the
Ancient Indians.

At a recent session Of the American
Oriental society Prof, Hopkins. of
Yale, read a paper on THE Sniff Kiss
in Ancient India" Reduced to its
foundation, the paper was a history
of the kiss as we know it. The learned
or%ientalist traced it from it's birth
and proved that the earliest peoples
and earliest times knew it not. That
there might be no mistake he labeled
the kiss Of to-day the genuine kiss
and "the perfect kiss"
Oddly enough, he finds that the
genuine kiss vas invented by a WON
an. The description Is given in the epic
Of ancient India which treats Of the
science of love.
she laid her mouth to my mouth
recites the poet, and made a noise
which gave me pleasure
The early peoples declared Prof.
Hopkins knew nothing Of the kiss In
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-05-02
A Case of Spring Catarrh.
Coach Horses Join Fox Chase.

They had some spirited horses in
the old coaching days. Just 100
years ago a remarkable proof of this
was given, and fortunately recorded
for the establishment of later motor
ing generations, in the case of the Liv-
erpool mail coach. Horses were
changed at Monks Heath, between
Observation-Disclosures, says the Lon.
don Tribune.
On this particular occasion a pack
Of %foxhounds was heard in full cry
just as the horses from Congleton
were freed from the coach, and they
started off with the harness on their
backs and followed the u to the
finish. One of them, a blood mare,
stuck close to the w%hipper-in and took
every jump after him through the two
hours. And in the evening they toaA
the return coach to Congleton as mer-
rily as if they had been in the stable
all the time.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-05-02

ter the front room. take off her hat
and place it with a chatetlaine bag on
the table. Burns slid into the house,
looked into the bag, and found a letter
there. In it's place he put a dummy.
This was easy, IS there was no ad-
dress on the outside of the envelope.
But this left Burns in the dark as to
whom it was meant for.
Later in the afternoon Mrs. Chew
ms came out and Burns followed her.
She crossed the ferry to New York
and went to Courtlandt street. AS she
vas turning into a doorway Burns
sent n of his men to say to her:
BE careful! You are being watched"
She turned and left the entryway.
Burns Immediately entered, and sure
enough there was an engraver's Office.
Of ours Burns got the plates and
Gen. FREDERICK Mora and Ricardo de
Requisens are serving their terms in
prison.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-05-02
Loeb, Plot piscoverer.

Humor is a great solvent and cor.
receive. If the American people were
a somber race and given to solemn
credulity and saturnine suspicious,
mischief and bad blood might have re-
suited from the publication OF this
devilish plot, with Rockefeller or
somebody in the role of Guy Fawkes,
to blow UP the ediice of Mr. ~oosevelt's
designs as to the kind of man he
would like for a But the
tale of horror unfolded by the faithful
Loeb had it's comic side. American
humor was quick to grasp the bot.
tomless absurdity OF the yarn. There
is a good laugh all round, and the
plot is pretty generally voted the
joke of the season and a boon for the
photographers milwaukee, Sentinel.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-05-02

San Professionalism J.. Burns,
the United States secret service agent
who trapped every member of San
Francisco's corrupt board of supervis-
ors into a full confession of their
guilt, is called "the king of detec-
tives.'
Although Burns has this interna-
tional reputation as a detective, it is
hard for his intimates to remember
always that Burns is a detective,
Thus Francis ]. Heney, the prosecu-
tor with whom Burns has worked
through the land fraud cases in Ore
gon and in the San Francisco Doodle
cases, finds his associate a source Of
continual surprise.
Burns amuses me-" said Heney
one day recently, as he looked out the
window of his Office in the unburnt
Western Addition" of San Francisco,
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-05-02

ped boodler, pale as a sheet. Il am
done for"
I'll take the money, and I'll take
you, too," said Burns. With that he
scared his man into a complete con
fession. Previous to this he had Sc
cured another confession from n of
L%onergan's colleagues who was i'll and
thought he was about to die.
A BoodIer Trapped.
With the inside information Of these
two confessions Burns got to work on
all the other supervisors. They were
so scared that the whole is came
through with a rush. When Heney
witness had made a complete confess
sion. Burns said: Keep at him!"
sure enough the most discriminating
part of his story came out afterward."
"One thing that has surprised me
in Burns" added Langdon, lis this.
He never wastes any time in bluffing.