The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1907-02-08

at work, leading h strenuous l1fe.)
University of Rockefeller, Chicago,
50 Jan.
Eagerly l shall write to my country
men Of this nest Of ideas American.
Once [ thought in Washington l would
find one center of intelligence. Again,
in New York l hoped to discover why
all people in America did think so
quickly. Bah. | was disappointed. l
was at the wrong enc of that problem.
Those ideas are not born IL Wasnlng-
ton and New York. Here in the uni
versity founded by tina tthTice-renown-
ed scientist NJ. Rockefeller, | find where
those ideas are made. This, to me, is
the grand discovery, explaining much.
When I did speak with despair to my
friend NJ. John w. Gates of my effort
TO study the psychology American, in
stantIy h did make me happy-my
dear friend!-by these words:
Bah You, my dear Clam, must go
TO that place where ideas are propa-
gated. You must begin at the begin
ming place. Then you will understand
why those Americans are so quick, yet
eager. / shall now give to you the
Letter to my friend Prof. Stag, Of the
University Of Rockefeller. Also l shall
get n note from M. Rockefeller. This
viii be one fine pull"
Instantly he did write for me this
letter;
MY Dear Stag-My dear friend, NJ.
Clam, studies the affairs American. He
desires to know where new ideas are
made. also why those Americans are
so quick in their brains. Put him
next, my dear Stag. Show him that
circus of yours. 1t beats Wall street.
Yours. truly, JOHN w. GATES
NJ. Gates did telephone to those Hills
PocanticO, and in half of M hour this
telegram did arrive:
John w. Gates-Haye sent this tele-
gram to Stag: Show everything to M.
Clam. Of Paris, except financial incu-
batOr. My policy now is to conciliate
all molders of public opinion Be
Clam
"ROCKEFELLER."
With JOY | embraced my dear friend
M. Gates and hurried away. THAI
railroad train did fly like one thousand
thunderbOlts. / did see the Pittsburs,
that grand city ofmifIionaires and
curious laws. In the Pitts0urg city
all men must become m%ilIionaires be-
fore they are 50 years old. On that
day they must get the divorce instant
ly Il be married to one other female
IL is the law! Thus all wealth will De
distributed among those people. Some
mlliOnaireS try to get the divorce more
early, because they wish 10 distribute
wealth more quickly. Also all second
wives of m~illionaires of Pittsburg nus
be actresses, because they al scatter
money more quickly than other Wo-
men. Many other strange social laws
are made in the Pittsburg city, yet 1
was jerked away in that train before
I could learn all.
When I did arrive in Chicago
diable! Astonishment did seize me
What a nation is America! What
citiesi What a people! Almost I
thought this was that Plain of Shinar,
with all people trying to talk strange
languages while building towers of
Babel in each street! Those terrible
buildings-that elevated railroad again
those crowds in excitement running:
I had agitation, with desire to un. Yet
1 must be calm, Hailing a fiacre, I
drove to this university.
NJ. Stag that professor Of psychology,
was most polite. When he did g
that letter of M. Gates he arose and
embraced me. Welcome, ii. Giant"
he said. CT have received also one
telegram from NJ. Rockefeller, our pat
ron saint. He i%nstructs me to be most
polite to journalists. Embrace me, NJ.
Clam."
With pleasure | did embrace the
psychology professor. This is n
giant intellectual. He is very tall, yet
burned to thinness with those fires OF
intellect. Almost his forehead bursts
with weighty things inside. The face
Of M. Stag is not pronounced, being OBJ
secured by n underground OF red
whiskers Of different lengths, because
he has moi the time to shave. Also he
large speetacles night and day.
We shall now go to thai psychology
laboratory" said NJ. Stag. TherS you
shall e some things"
IN one room, very large, | saw one
hundred scientists at work. All kinds
machinery was there. One man was
talking to a large chimpanzee, who did
scratch fleas and grunt. With each
grunt that man did cock his ear to
listen. then ran his finger rapidly
through a book. 1t was one monkey
dictionary. Soon we shall be able
to talk with this ~chimpanzee." said M.
Stag. after we have learned certain
points on grammar from him, We shall
publish that, revised dictionary. Think,
NJ. Clam, of that benefit to society"
"Ah, yest"'I replied Ito some So
ciety that will be one great boon"
E 49, L. 1s--@~ n-l 1,-AA~