The Washington herald., 1907-05-12
OSCAR WILDE's EPIGRAMs.
Some of she Smart sayings from Hil
Brightest Play.

Some OF the best epigrams from the
pen of Oscar Wilde are contained in
his comedy. The Importance of Being
Earnest" to be presented at the Belas-
co Theater this week by Edwin Arden
and his company. A few of them.
taken at random from the play, are
given here;
Algy-Nhy Is Il that 81 bachelors establishment
the servants invariably drink the champagne!
Lane-I attrbute 10 to the superior quality Il the
champagne. sir. ! have often observed that in mar-
red households the chalapesne IS rarely q first
rate brand.
Alg-G0od heavens. Is marriage 50 demoralizngf
LaHe-f believe 1t is a TFy pleasant state. siT
have had ,e7 little expenenee. I have only beeu
maTried once.
Algy-I see nothing Romantic in proposing But il
IS romantic % be Ia love. There Is nothing at
an romantic about a definite proposal II marriage
Why. .uns my be- accepted. one usually Is 1 be-.
lieFe. Then the excitement Is all over. The very
essence q romance Is uncertainty. II evef / get
married Il csrtaiHly Try to fog8st the fact.
Alg-tiirls never mauy the men they airt with
Girls don't think it right. That accounts for the
extnoriHar number q bachelors that one sees all
over ths place.
A.g-The truth IS rarely pure and never simple.
Modern hfe would he EcTy tedious if IL we're either,
and modern literature q complete impossibility.
Lady Bmclusll-I haven't seen her sinca her poor
husband DEATH never saw a woman 50 altered
she looks quite twenty years younger.
LADY BrleImen-Now TO minor matters. Are your
parents living.
Jscs-I have lost both ny parents
Lady Brackueil-Botbg To lose one parent may be
regarded a calamity but 70 lose both seems al
most Ike carClessuess.
/ Alsy-AH women bsoams dke their mothers. That
Is their tragedy. 40 maE does. That Is his.
I8es-ls that clever
Algy-It is perfectly plrased and quite as true a.
any observation in ciTiiizJd life should be-.
: Jack-I sm sick 90 death of cleyeuess EFrrybodl
is clever nowadays You eaut go anywhere without
meeting clever people, The thing has become az
ausou.e poblic nuisanee. wish % goodness we hat
few fools left.
AlH-Mt Rave.
Jsek-I should like to meet them What do thsy
I taik aboutl
Als-Ths fools' on. about the clever people. o.
Jack-whlt fools
/ Gweadolen-Few parents nowadays pay any resar,
/ to what their children say 70 them The oid-fash
toned respect for the young is fast dying out.
/ Algy-Gu0u iooHs are a snare that every senslDl
man would like 20 be esrFht IN.
! Cecily-f don't think would care 70 catch a sen
sible man. / should not know what 10 talk to hin
about
Chasuble-Is not man equally attractive vhel
married.
Miss Pri4m-No married man is ever attractive ez
/ ospJ 20 his ownwife.
chasuble-And often. I've been told, not even t
/ her.
/ Cecly-DT. Chassble is most learned man. II
how much he knows
Gwendolen-Outsids the family circle. papa. I an
glad 10 say. is entirely unknown. That is qnite as
should be. The home seems TO me TO be the props
/ sphere Tor the man.
! Gwendolen- Ernest never mentioned 70 me that h
had a brother. Now that l think Of it. l neve
heard any man mention his brother. The subjsc
seems distasteful 70 most men.
I Gweudolen-I never travel without nv diary. On
should always have something sensational to read
the train.
GvendoIen-No. thank you. Sugar is not fashion
able with tea any more. and / viii have bread an
butter. please. Cake is rarely seen at the bes
houses nowadays
Jaek-How can you sit there. calmly eating iar:
fms. when we arc in this horrible trouble.
AlG-WeIl. I can't eat mufins IN an agitate
manner. Tbs butter would probably set on m
cuffs One should always eat mullins oalmiy. Tha
Is the only way to eat them.
{ Lady BTaC6nel-NeTer speak disrespecffully Of 81
eiety. Only people who can't get in it DO that.
Lady BFacknell-I am not in favor Of long engsg,
ments, They give people the opportunity Of fndin
out each others character before marriage, which,
think, is never advisable.