davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-11-09
Women Lack Sense of Hnmnr

Here is the latest evidence thar wom-
en- cannot take a Joke:
!. met poor old negro one day push
ing Wheeibarrow loaded with cooking
uhtensIle and household effects. SEEING
me looking at him curiously, he ,,hool
his head and said:
can't stand her no longer. boss
| Jes natch'ully can't stand her no
quired. uuOe NJ
Wen, you see. boss, she amt cot no
sense OF humor. She won't take Joke
honow. The other night l went home
an been takin' little jes' to wan ma
heart-an l got to de fence, an tried TO
climb It'll got on de top. an couldn't
get one way or t'other. Then a gem'n
comes along, an l says. Would Won
mind givin' me a push? He saws.
W hlch way do you want to goY I saws.
Either way-don't make no difference
ges' so | git off de fence, 70 it's power
full uncomf'able up yerer :; he gave me
push an sent me ovet toad my side
Then went home. an | wanted
sumpln. to eat, an my ole woman, she
wouldn't git it; an so, jes' fo' a joke
dots all, jes a jolze--I mir 'er on de
hald. But would you believe it. she
couldn't take a jokeI She tu'n aroun'
an she sail inter me, sir, sumpin' scan
lous. | couldn't do nothin. cause / was
feelln' kind o weak jes' then. an so |
made up ma min | wasn't goin' TO stay
with 'er no mo-. Dis mawnin' she gone
out washin', an | jes' move right out
it's no use tryin' to live with a woman
who can't take joke
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-11-09
Hernines Growing Older

A heroine Of romance should, of course.
never grow old: but she il becoming
seriously Handicapped by the modern
noyelist's tendency to start her later in
life Hardly any heroines now nre un-
der twenty-five. and most of them are
perlousiy near thirty. \ novel pub
lished last week boldly elected 90 make
the heroine thirty-five; and though that
is hgh-water mark, the dillgent novel;
reader may well be appreheusiye lest his
fayoritc noyelsts should begin to regard
it as an ideal to be kept in view.
The heroines of MIR. Anthony Hope
are putting on years; Mr.. Robert HIGH
ems made the lady Of the Call Of the
Blood quite in the fashion. Mrs. Elinor
GYMS Three Weeks" siren was vague
IS between twenty-five and thirty-fye,
according 10 the light: Mr.. w. u. Max
wells guilty wife in 'The Guarded
Flame" was certainly old enough 10
know better. The Baroness Won Hut
tens Pam was charming, but she
owned to twenty-nine. All these are re-
snt novels; but il will be found that the
heroines of Mr. Percy Whites, Miss
Elizabeth Robins, Mr.. John Gals
worthy's last books oil recall the re-
mark Of the Irishman when questioned
about lady's age-"You wouldn't think
of chicken when she was by"
Evidently the woman Of thirty-five is
going 70 take the same place in fiction
Az the imam Of forty" aud the only rea-
son we can arggest for it is that mar
riages in reai life take place later than
they used 70 do.-London Graphic.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-11-09
Clothes Closet Room in Flats.

If you are living in small fat, with
but cramped room for the disposing of
clothing not IN use. here is a scheme by
which you can hang a number of gowns,
cloaks, ETC., in a very small closet. Buy
an adjustable rod such as are used for
sash curtains, tack the fixtures on the
wall at each end of the closer, half way
between the door and the vail, and so
that the rod will run lengthways of the
room. Then get dozen or so OF the
ordinary clothes hangers, which may be
bought for five cents apiece.
Now adjust your clothes to the wooden
hangers and attach these to the rod, as
one sees the cloaks and gowns on the
rack in department store. If the closet
is too shallow to permit Of hanging in
this fashion, have made at a carpenters
two long rods of wood, with thin rods
in parallel strips joining them together
like ladder. Have this suspended in
the closet, and attach the clothes hangers
20 the short rods; that is, fatty as you
face the closet. Clothes may be packed
one over the other in this way with as
great economy of space as by the single
rod method, and without danger of crush
ing.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-11-09
GOSSIP FOR THE LADIES.

The Torch.
The God of the Great Endeayor gave me a
torch to bear.
/ lifted it high above me in the dark ana
muTky air;
And straightway, with loud hosannas, tie
crowd acclaimed It's light,
And followed me as | carried my loren
through the starless night;
Till, mad with the peoples praises aad
drunken with vanity.
forgot twas the torch that drew them.
and fancied they followed me-
But slowly my arm grew weary upholding
the shining load
And my tired feet went stumbling over the
hifiy road
And l fell with the torch beneath me. IL
q moment the fame was our:
Then. 10! from tie throng a stripping sprang
forth with a mighty shout
Caught up the torch as it smouldered ana
lifted it high again,
And MS | lay in darkness, the feet of the
trampling crowd
Passed over and far beyond me- its paeans
proclaimed aloud,
While / learned, In the deepening shadows
this glorious verify:
fTis the torch that the people follow who
ever the bearer bel
Elizabeth e. Finley in Womans journal
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-11-09
Scarlet Fever and Diphtheria.

There is no need of children dying with
either Of these diseases, as they can
both be prevented.
La case Of scarlet fever, as soon as the
fever rises, battle the patient in cold
water, and continue TO battle as often
as the fever rises, and keep the erup-
ton back. Do not be afraid to do so, as
me more eruption the more fever. DO
ms with water, and keep the patient
tree from any draught of air. Never let
me patient le in a deli-ious STATE, but
Keep him rational by cooking him often
with water.
In case of diphtheria, first put patient
IN a cold and weli-ventilated room. where
ne can feel no effect Of a heated stove
Make swab by tying a small bit Of cot
ron batting on the end Of a stick, about
the size Of a lead pencil Let ii come TO
point after covering Dip the swab in
solution Of equal parts of earbolic acid
and glycerine and touch carefully the
W5ute spots seen in tIc mouth and
thi'oat Any spots that do not come of
readily should be loosened with point Of
We swah. Z he patient should take Eve
srains Of chlorate Of potassa. dissolved
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-11-09
Wedding Invitations.

Wedding cards come thick and fast
in the autumn. and etiquette govern
ing their acknowledgment is so pre-
else that there should be no excuse in
making an error.
Invitations to a church service, un-
less the ceremony is to be a small one,
require no answers when received, but
under no circumstances, except that
OF mourning. should a call upon the
parents be omitted within a fortnight
after the wedding. Gail upon the
parents, supposing, that the invitations
were Issued in their names, says the
New York Evening Telegram. If for
any reason others, such as guardians
or relatives, send out the invitations,
the visit should be made to them.
The point is that whoever was so cour-
teous as TO send the invitations should
receive the return politeness--a call
If widower issues the wedding invi-
tatiors, a woman receiving one posts
her card with that Of her husband 3
as an acknowledgment to the sender.
Reception cards require no previous
acknowledgment. but are treated like
any other invitation. A visiting card
is left by those who are present at
such an affair. and those who are un-
the date of the function. or course If
one is hidden to the breakfast or the
number Of invitations 10 the house is
small. these are acknowledged a. so0T.
as received. In this case however.
such requests are usually written bF
the bride or her parents. and are quite
informal. so that the answer Is a note
written IN the same style
Whenever the engraved invitations
bear the letter r. :. V. T.. an answer
must De made at once.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-11-09
THE CAR CONDUCTORS WEDDING.


Next week the marriage bells wont do a
thing.
For III be there. l guess. TO ill the set
And Pansy's Ma, she won be late, you
bet.
To see the Reverend Mr. pun the string
Nc Tor spike-tailed scabbard and ring,
shei-baeR shirt, IorSSoth 4 peacherette.
III be the daintiest bridegroom ever yet;
Nothing to do but take the count then
bling,
Love IN cottage run ON union pay
Tan Teddy Roosevelt do a sum like thatf
Two can eat cheap as one. perhaps but say.
:, 1on Te got to beat quarter pretty dat
20 c9r1 three squares, make Little Two
Shoes snug
And keep the wolf from chewing up the
rug.
Metinks I'm tagged to Join the Worry Club,
40 chase the heeting rhino through the
To bag the doodle. trap the Wild mazume.
ana scratch for corn when PanSy hollers
Grub
They say I'll turn as sickly as a club
When ON the First, with duh and deadly
The Rent comes round and walks in,o the
Remsrking, peel. or else file out. you
scrub
But when your arms are full of girl and
You hide your nerve behind yard of
You'd spit into a wildcats face or blur
4 flock of dragons with a safety pin,
Iife's 2 slow skate, but Loves the dopey
glim
That puts a brewery horse in racing trim.
Wallace Irwin, In Success Magazine.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-11-09
Man. Too. Hates Red.
Animals are not alone in their hatred
of red--men hate il, too
stNnugpnea -

animals are not alone in their hatred
of red~-men hate il, too
Nonsense
''It is fact" the first speaker.
psychologist Of the University of Chi
cage. insisted sternly, 1T is fact, and
any manufactures Of Photographic films
or dry plates will bear me out
For years these manufacturers no.
ticed the internal rows and fights aud
brawls tnns distinguished their red light
rooms-the rooms where, in diabolieal
ruby glare their work people coated
glass aud celluloid with sensitive film
that an ordinary white light would have
spoiled.
THE rest of their factories would run
on quietly. the workers would toll busily
and contentedly. but from the red light
rooms would come ever and anon 0aths,
groans, bowls of rage, the sound OF
crushing blows. of falling bodies
DAY after day this went on: auietude
everywhere else. in the red light rooms
pandemonium. Physicians were consult
ed. These men, experimenting, soon per-
ceved that the red light intlnmed the
workers nerves, engaging them as a red
rag engages a bull. They urged that
orange light be substituted.
And now, in those plants where
orange light is employed, the films are
coated by cheerful and eontented work
men; but where the old red hight Is still
maintained, there the feverlsh toilers
continually interrupt their work TO storm
aud rage. to hur broken glass at one
another, aud 10 settle disputes by plant
ing great blows in abdomen jaw or
solar pleXus
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-11-09
Environment Tells.

popular young woman of society has
just decided to join her lot with that of
an agreeable man of excellent family,
but with practically no fortune, and
those who know her are somewhat di-
vided in their opinions as to the wisdom
of her choice. One of her most init
mate friends, when asked what she
thought of it, said. tOh, I'm quite in
despair about Iilyi She and Arthur are
going to live in some cheap, nasty place
and | should be almost as pleased to see
them buried alive at once. People are
always discussing the question as to how
much we are affected by heredity and
how much by environment without arriy-
ing at any very satisfactory conclusion,
but I've been convinced by my own OBJ
servations and reflections that we're
made by the places we live in and the at
mosphere in which we move. How else
can we account for the fact that it rare
ly takes more than one generation, and
often takes considerably less, for the
newcomer to any country to develop the
national characteristics of that country =?
If heredity is stronger than environ
ment how does it happen that the de-
scendant of a New England Puritan
often becomes more wildly dissipated
during week in Paris than the most
confirmed boulevardier you ever met IN
fiction and that the unmistakabe Amer
lean type is evolved from the children of
the people who come to us from every
country in Europe? l don't think Lily
and Arthur are Immediately going to
sink to the level of the place they are
going to live in, but they will have a
struggle to keep above it. and if they
don't get more money from somewhere
before long no one can tell what horrid
things may happen. New York Trib-
une
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-11-09

Means loss of moral force, declares one
who will not allow herself to grumble,
that she dare not 10 it, because it be-
comes a habit that annoys others and
harms oneself.
1t is just natural to love sympathy.
and we find it hard to listen to another S
tale of woe, because we are so anxious
to relate our own.
A small girl who has a baby brother
always seems to envy him the sympathy
he gains when he has the collie. As soon
as the mother tries to quiet him and
speaks to him with a voice full of sor-
row she feels the pressure of two small
hands Juggling at her arm and little
voice lisping plaintively, Me, too, NAM
ma
And that is the way with the larger
children. We see into our own heart,
and we just know what our troubles are,
and we just long, when we see some one
else receiving all the warm and tender
sympathy from gracious hand, to go up
and plead for our share, too.
And how much Drawer it is to keep 81
lent, ito bear the whips and scorns Of
time. the oppressor's wrong, the proud
mans contempt" Every time we exer-
else self-eontrol we gain fresh strength.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-11-09
Marriage Is a FaiIure. -.

Meals are ill-cooked and badly served.
Both parties are absolutely resolved to
see oaly the worst side Of each others
character.
The income, though we'll managed and
made the most Of, cannot cover the ex-
penditure.
Neither husband nor wife has married
for love, but merely for money, or any
other mundane motive.
When dark days come husband and
wife forget they took each other for bet
ter, for worse, for richer, for poorer.
The husband be a faddy Gidgety man
perpetually prying into household mat
ters and If he thinks he knows more
about them than anybody else
Two young people rush into matri-
mony and take unto themselves all the
burden Of married life when too young
20 realize the awful responsibility of it.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-11-09

IN not water, every four hours. after
rlnsing the mouth and throat with the
hltner disease can be cured in twenty
Tour hours, if directions are persistentiy
eSatrled out. L. Bennett, NJ. D., East
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-11-09
How the Rattlea Are worn

The rattles lie edgewisc. IL is evident that
they must do SO, inasmuch as they are
but combinations Of the backbone. The
snake carries the rattles on the ground
except wheE. be raises them to sound his
warni z. This will be evidenced by the
fact : ~ in every snake OF any size that
is killed the rattles are worn through on
the under side.-Forest and Stream.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-11-09

ton is about to be filed to dissolve the
ice trust
Jumbo, monstrous elephant, tied up
trolley lines twenty minutes aud before
ii submitted TO being loaded on a freight
ear terroriZed lower Montgomery street,
Jersey City. sent cigar dealer doing
hurdles over his cases, and also sent
typewriter girls and matrons doing the
hop, skip, and jump into Office build
ings.
The elephant was led from float of
the Long Island Railroad company and
was pushed along the Pennsylvania rail
road yards until il reached the pier off
Exchange place.
John Murphy. the elephants keeper.
left for moment. John O'Hara and
John Foster, two clerks were handling
waybils when O'Hara felt a soft touch
around the region of his ear. O'Hara
turned about and looked straight into
two eyes that peeked out from 5000
pounds of elephant.
O'Ilara made two jumps. One took
him over his desk and the other through
the Office window and landed him, sash
and all. ON the pier. Foster was a close
second.
The elephant then numbered into Tx
change place and sat down on the troll
ley tracks. In ten minutes the street
was damned by stalled trolley cars and
nearly 500 persons. The police reserves
were called out and REINFORCED by
score of longshoremen armed with bale
hooks they moved on the elephant The
efforts to dslodge the beast. however,
were 6navaiing until it elected to so
elsewhere. which 1t did after the police
men and longshoremen had retired, wind
broken aud muscle sore.
With much dignity the elephant pres
entity got up ON all fours and teetered
around TO cigar store at 3 Montgom-
cry street. His advance was the signal
for the hasty departure of crowd of
stenographers aud shop girls who
scrambled into near by Office buildings.
After the elephant had "mooehed"
box of cigars from show case at No.
3. its trainer appeared. Whereupon the
beast shelved its playfulness, threw
away the cigars. aud followed its master
back 20 the freight yards
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-11-09

shot np when the bs " handle was at
tached to it.
, How much does he weigh r. ques-
! toned the anxious father.
JUST 40 pounds" said the icelnan,
who was a bachelor.
II knew he was Il husky young 'un. ,"
said the proud father who also didn't
know much about babies. and he hurried
of 70 his office ut the statehonse to tell
the glad news and pass around the ei-
CARS.
How much does he weighT was the
first question put 20 the joyous father.
Forty pounds, the assistant told
Attorney General Byers.
why, YOU must be crazy" said Gen.
Ryers.
Then Lyon told the attorney general
Just how he knew the baby weighed 40
pounds.
Il guess all the trouble is that the
iceman has been beating you out of 30
pounds of ice every day this summer.
was Byers' comment And now a petit
ton is about to be filed to dissolve the
ice trust.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-11-09

Advertise in Your Home PAPER.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-11-09
BRIEE NOTES OF
GENERAL INTEREST

John French, GA, and Martha johnson.
81, were married at Bloomington. Ind.
by Squire Dixon and they are Just IS
happy as a pair of youthful sweethearts
to whom married life is a novelty, al
though this is the brides fourth matr-
monial venture and the bridegroom's
third.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-11-09

When Assistant Attorney General
Charles W Lyon Of Iowa discovered
that II 50-pound baby boy had been born
70 bis wife the other dag be Immediate
ly ordered an investigation Of the Ues
MoiDes ice trust Ordinarily babies and
Ice have no immediate connection. But
in this instance they had.
When the baby was born the other
day the proud father--it was his first
born ~immediately called for a pair Of
scales to weigh the yonngster. His de-
mand could not be supplied from the
house furnishings but IT so happened
that the iceman came along.
- pair Of scales to weigh the baby p
said the iceman 10 the questiOner. sure
! have it. What do you think | weigh
my ice witty
| Bring them H." said the attoruey
general. Then the nurse carefully bun
died up the baby and carried him ouf
to the iceman. The beam Oh tie scale,
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-11-09

charged with robbing the mails in the
South Bend, Ind, postofIice, where he
has been a clerk. His wife, believing
him guiltless, offered to take his place
in the cell while he secured proof of his
innocence, and, accordingly, was locked
up. Later Blanchard confessed. The
amount of his stealings, il is thought
will be about $1,000.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-11-09

There is q well-to-do farmer living near
Afchison, Kan, who gets on q queer
jag every time he goes TO Kansas City.
When be reaches the reeiing stage, he
iInagines be Is superintendent Of the
Missouri Pacific system. He reels about,
giving orders to every one he meets. lie
knows some railroad slang, and II il
funny to hear him bawl out his orders
He walks up 10 q man and tells BIN
that he s. the superintendent, and cher
begins talking abo1t Train 146
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-11-09

Il have never robbed a child before,
but | am not working for the good of my
health, and | need the money just now.
However, | am sorry 10 take the money,
and you may stake your life upon it that
if ever | have S1.27 to spare | shall re-
turn this money.-Hard-up Burglar.'
This was the note which Mr. and Mrs.
George Bonita found on the dining room
table Of their home at Paterson. n. j.,
tile other morning. An investigation was
made and it was found that the thief
had taken S202T in all. The bank which
contained S127 was the property Of their
3-year-0d daughter.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-11-09

dent at Earlham college. Richmond,
Ind, was waylaid by fellow students
and hazed. Despite the fight he put up
he was shorn of large portion of his
hair, which is long and wavy The
hazers, if found, probably will be ex-
PEELED.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-11-09

A monarch of the name of Yborshi Is
advertising a kingdom for sale in several
continental newspapers, says a Paris dis
patch. He offers his throne, crown, scep-
ter, dominions and subjects for sale, with
thirty wives thrown in, for sos. 900. His
realm is that of AysbOnia, a strip Of land
in Africa $50 miles long and, ninety
miles wide The power of life and death
is the kings prerogative and goes with
the crown, as does the granting Of all
concessions. The royal crown is a dia.
dem made Of human skulls. The throne
Is made of skulls and thigh bones SO
far no bidders have appeared.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-11-09

Striking match on his trousers 70
Negley. "a years old Pittsburk work
man. Negley had eaten his dinner and
was preparing to smoke. Tie wore n
pair Of oil soaked overalls, which had
been heated in front Of furnaces. AS
Negley struck the match the trousers eX-
ploded. The flames were communicated
to lamp nearby and that also blew
up, covering the man with burning oil.
He died in few hours.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-11
4 LEXING TON MAN
IN SERIOUS TROUBLE
William A. Pendleton Arrested
IN Stanton for Robbing Man
in Clifton Forge.

STAJ NTON, IA. January William
a. Peudleton. man of prominent con-
n"ction in Eookbridge county. was are
rested and taken off an eastbound trssn
here this morning upon Telegram from
Clifton Forge. charging lin with rob-
berry lie was before the police justice
this morning and fined twenty dollars for
carrying razor ana remanded To- jaw
to await further Investigation. lie paid
the fine. Late this evening Ohicor .. S.
kimberin. Of clifton Force. arrived. ana
tonight LEFT with his prisoner for clifton
Forge.
Pendieton is charged with having
robbed a Mr. Stanford at the Gladys Inn
last. night lie and Pendleton occupied
the same room in the hotel. and while
asleep Pendlcton. it is claimed. yiacd
Stanfords pockets taking :hree ten-dor-
lar bills and several pieces OF baggage.
Pendleton had the baggage checked 10
Richmond. and boarded tile train for thar
point but was intercepted at Staunton.
Mr. Pendleton stated Tonight To- you-
reporter that he was "a cousin of CAPTAIN
y. J. Pendleton. who was at one tfrls
connected with the Virginia Military In
stitute and prominent citizen Of Lex
ingtOn.