The Washington herald., 1907-09-27
GARRETT RIDES GOAT
Mayor of Glen Echo Initiated
into Frat"
PSEUDO COLLINS TO RESCUE
Doughty Village Marshal, or His
Counterpart. Takes Part in Cere-
mOny at National Law University
when His Superior Learns Mys-
teries OF sigma Nu Phi.

Oh, shades Of Arlstides and the inn
mortal Plato! on. hoi poIloi and tokalon.
Sit tight on the coains Of al the aneieuts,
ye tombs6nes, for they VIII Try hard TO
turn over in their graves! Mayor Jo-
hannes Garrett. big stick Of Glen Echo.
master mind OF the Conduit road, and
the first 70 escape from under the heavy
lid OF Secretary Taft, has Joined Greek
letter fraternity. He IS a Sigma M Phi!
Oh. manicure,
Last night. when the city fathers had
betaken themselves to peaceful slumber
and the vestal virgins and shop girls
had left the anpitheater, a body Of youths
from the National Law School began an
Initiation OF Mayor John, and at the end
he was duly installed as sergeant-at-law,
besides being tired and disheartened and
glad to retire TO his little cottage. in a
village near Cabin John.
just Walked and Walked.
First. under the persuasion Of the fra
ternitv cut-ups, he became a peripatetic,
and walked and walked. He was COM
PEELED to be undignifed. TO address lamp
posts. and sing 20 frightened and unen-
vious CANNES. Then he became Stole
and bore with Socratic fortitude the gibes
and saTIies Of the bright embryo barristers
who practlced their best efforts at cross
examination at his expense.
He was asked why he was 'bumptio Is
little Official" and with manly couTass
he answered, ASK me not: have suf-
fered much with lucubratlons.
He was questioned ss 70 what part OF
the United States Glen Echo rested in
And with that characteristic satire and
tocose acumen. he replied with deep
emotion:
Members OF the town counc-, OF
rather. gentlemen Of the fraternity. the
world at large. the heavens, the universe:
It gives me great pleasure TO address
(Cries Of get the hook this isn't
Glen Echo" "come TO Briny, bear
with me awhile and I will unfold 70 you
a tale of oppression" and loud demands
that the question be answered and sug-
gestions that it would be more comfort
able for the mayor if he Tefrained from
making his usual er-with-a-child-in-
her-arms speech)
.'Since l am but brought here only 10
be insulted. will be brief. I aIR a plain,
blunt man. The action of the Federal
authorities leads me to belieye that Glen
Echo is not in the United States. 1t has
been treated as a foreign power, and /
am its minister plenip0tentiaTy, and l.
cloud exclamations of I'VE didn't ask
YOU about YOURSELF" don't be always
telling Us about something jocose. ,
Enter Marshal Collins,
Then entered Marshal Collins. or his
counterpart. and a prisoner. Let him
be searched" commanded Garrett after
he had been prodded with dainty curtain
poles by some frat a,cn. He was searched,
and $37 in real money (say not So Clar-
issa, and at a fraternity house, was
taken from him.
How is this to be divided?" asked
Collins.
Give it to me-" answered the mayor.
Not a chance" responded the obedient
marshal, and he began TO count: "One
for me. one for you; one for me. one for
you
But where does Glen Echo get off?''
asked the prisoner.
"One for me. one for you," chanted
Marshal Collins. and when, he came to
thirty-six he stopped.
The odd dollar goes TO Glen Echo" he
answered, and mumbled under his breath,
land Glen Echo Is d lucky"
Then, after other idiosyncrasies Of
the mayor We're exploited, he was allowed
to dismount from the goat, to become an
epicurean, and was dined 5Id feasted as
a full-fedged member of the Sigma NJ
Phi-a regular coileger.
Rah! Rah! Rah! Chewing gum and hair
pins! Alma mater!