Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1907-12-29

= Said Bachelor on parade;
"It's New Year Day, it's New Year
Day."
The Woman Halter said.
"What makes you look so white. so
white?"
Said Bachelor on parade;
I'm dreadin' what we've got to
face"
The Woman Halter said.
For Leap Year is upon us,
And the girls will use a wire.
They'll hook us all like poodle
When the licenses expire,
An they'll dump us in the wagon
An we're off to find squire,
For they're laying for the bach'lor
In the mornin'.''
The big bet for this month will be
Taft. The Atlantic fleet will approach
the Horn with a bent spy-glass, look
ing around for Japs. 20, Hell" whis-
pered in Uncle Joe Cannon's ear, will
be the password to get anything be-
fore Congress. Japan will have a
slack mouth at the Nagasaki navy
yard, and will build only twenty-sev-
en- more warships. The guess on
Roosevelt's future for this month will
be that he will become a Congressman
after he leaves the White House, and
will go into the ring with Williams
and De Almond. Mr.. Bryan will walk
around the democratic nomination
with hammer, to see If there is any
place where he could nail it down,
Money will continue shy, rising out of
range and flying eight miles. Mr.. Law
son will put his mask on and 60 back
into the game, jobs will continue to
run when they see you coming, and
some time during the month Mr.. Nor
gan will decide whether he has all the
money he wants now, or if he will
continue the panic.
After the Goth we shall he under the
influence of Aquarius the water car
rier, the eleventh sign of the Zodiac.
Under this favorable sign, Prohibition
will establish about eighty more storm
centers, booze will run another in
nothing south of the Mason & Dixon
line, and Carrie Nation win work
with Ratchet in each hand. To quote
an Omar of the Oklahoma desert.
Hush little bar-room
Don't you cry
You'll be drug store
By and by.
January was named after Janus BIZ
irons, known as "Two-faced Janus"
He was the originator of what is
known as "the politicians life-saver."
A wave of prohibition was sweeping
Rome, and Bifrons, a candidate for
the Senate, had to declare himself one
way or the other, to every third man
he met. But he was a foxy Dago, and
when he was asked, do you drink,
Bifrons?" he would slyly ask in return,
rs this an invitation, or do you lust
want to know"
Rome had gate named for Janus
1t led from the Palatine to the Quirin-
al Hill and was closed only when
Rome was at peace with the world.
This occurred but four times-under
Numa, Augustus Caesar and Vespian,
and after the first Punic War. julius
caesar kept the gate open wider than
anybody. Just to satisfy himself that
no other Roman had never had any
thing on him in this respect, he once
drove twenty loads of hay through
the gate abreast, as against record
OF fourteen loads. Caesar was a. great
joker, and his favorite pun was made
at this gate. Riding through when
the sun was setting, he pointed at
the sunset with one hand and at the
passing railroad construction crew
with the other, and exclaimed to his
lieutenants, Behold, the day goes!"
Another year( mark well the rhyme)
Has joined the Host of Father Time.
A few more solid banks will burst
To many trusting ones disgust.
The widow recently bereft
VIII pop the question right and left,
And luckless man, of Leap Year butt, 4
VIII scramble for the tall uncut. " @>
The sport in Congress will consist
OF battles with the horney fist, the
gentleman Missouri bred will call some
one a noodle head; they'll clineh and
bite each others cheek, the frighten-
ened galleries will shrek, the Speak
er will get out gun, the man from
Arkansas will run, the sergeant will
bolt through a door. the fight win
spread upon the floor. the clerk will
climb the chaplain's back and the