Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-04-27
~ HH2|1kzM.E!&SSS

came down for short visit and another cot
was placed in the stable for his use. The
two went out for a good time and 1t was
rather late when they returned home.
They lost little time in occupying their cots
Possibly the first occupant of the stable
had bad dreams, for an hour or so later his
friend was awakened by a series OF yeilS
which emanated from the cot near him. He
quickly arose and found the horse which
occupied the stall in the other end OF the
stable had broken his halter and was bend
ing over the form of his friend. apparently
mystified as to the source of the strange
snoring. His warm breath on the face of
the sleeper aroused the latter and he called
out at the top of his voice:
'Oh. Lord. have mercy upon me! Lord
II l ever get out of this will never touch
another drop.
The ambition of the BARRIERS at the
United States Senate to possess themselves
of hair mattress made of the hirSute
clippings of their dignified patrons seems
likely soon to be realized. 1t was long
time ago that these BARRIERS, it is alleged,
entered into conspiracy to have little
graft in common with the practice in other
walks of life, official and otherwise. They
aimed high, in fact at the very heads of
their august customers. and began al once
to save the hair clippings that were or
dnarily gathered up and sent to the
waste heap. Not only Will they have a
useful article when they succeed in their
purpose. but they will possess the most
unique hair mattress in the world. They
will be able to sell it, II they desire, with
certificate their signatures witnessed by
a notary public. declaring even the names
of distinguished statesmen who contributed
to their hair graft.
The BARRIERS since they determined upon
re- ma jcn for ia1 hat +
trcss have naturally had their preferences
for well-hared senators, and bald men
have had little standing with them. Nari-
halls of fame have been erected and
dedicated to men of high accomplishments,
but it is doubtful If any hall of fame ever
included more distinguished names than
this mattress of fame the sole qualification
or which has been a seat in the Senate
and a bunch of good hair. The BARRIERS
We're sorely disappointed that they did not
get another chance to trip Senator Spoon
er's hair. which was Haunted before them
in an aggravating way every time the
littel giant visited the barber shop to be
shaved. as was his custom daily.
Hair cut SIR the obsequious barber
would inquire
The senator would thoughtfully shake
his head and the hopes of the barber
would sink into his shoes.
The BARRIERS have always liked Senator
Dick. and when they are let loose with his
hair with instructions to use their judg-
ment' they will make ii necessary for all
the newspapers and magazines of the
country to lay in a stock of new photo
graphs.
Senators Stewart and Senator PETER are
looked back upon by the BARRIERS as relics
of those Sood old times the return of
which is hoped for but hardly expected.
4 4 x +
You are charged with being habituauy
absent from school; are YOU guilty or not
guilty." asked Clerk Joseph Harper in the
Juvenile Court of small boy a few days
ago
Il stayed away little while and was
ashamed TO go back answered Francis,
The attendance officer testified that Fran
els had been ra her conspicuous by his alb
sence from school. no; having attended for
about a month.
What does it mean. when Won swear as
a witness in court Judge Dei-acy asked
the youngster.
Means you're common, quickly answer
ed the boy.
1T means that YOU must tel. the truth.
the whole truth and nothing but the truth,
corrected his honor.
asked
Third grade" said Francis.
The complaint comes to me that you
have not been in that third grade recently.
stated the judge. What do you DO, "Aen
Won stay away?
PLAY allies" replied the boy.
What do you do besides go to school and
play allics?'
Nothing. judge; | don smoke, eA-
blamed Francis.
What are you going TO do now?
If | get off this time. I'll go to school
right along promised the youngster.
lie was put on PROBATION iof tiie remain
der OF the school year.
:. \
.eThcre has been a lot of nonsense writ
ten about this scheme Of a Pennsylvania
cohbIer to burn ashes for fuel said one
of the fuel experts OF the geological sur
vey the other day. THE scheme Is not
even new one. 1t has been exploited at
different times and always has come down
to the same ultimate conclusion-impracti-
cable OF course. anything will burn If you
give it oxygen enough. You can burn even
cast iron under those conditions. But the
difference between laboratory experiments
and practical application is considerable.
1t is true that there is usually some coal
left in so-called ashes. There Is possibly
) per cent of the coal that is never burned
Most OF this could be recovered by careful
screening. but in big manufacturing plants
and places of that sort the labor and
trouble of this sort of ash-sifting costs
more than II comes to. The actual ashes
are slate and you know that will not
burn. All Of the schemes for burning
ashes that have ever been put forward
depended on mixing some sort of chemicals
with the ashes and burning the resulting
gas. ! do not know exactly what the cob
bler's formula was, but you can depend on
IL that when you figure up the cost Of the
chemicals and the labor involved in using
them II will come to a good deal more
than the price of coal. Take for instance.
combination of chemicals that will give
off acetylene gas-and l understand this
was what the cobbler produced-you could
mix them with the ashes and still make it
burn. But your chemicals would cost you
more than the coal. and you might just
as we'll burn the aCetylene direct which
you probably could get cheaper from cal
cium carbide than you could from any other
source. But every one knows that cal
cium carbide costs more than coal"