The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-01-06

1 him and the Voice of Duty calls to him through Megaphone. It says; Break into the Legislature. you Lob ster, for behold the Harvest Is whiten- ing, and if you don't get a wiggle on yourself the other Reformers will have all of the Pies divided before you move up to the Table"
 So he puts a card in the Home Weekly to the effect that his Friends have urged him to permit the Use of his Name, and therefore he is willing to sacrifice his Private Interests and be a Servant of the Peepul.
 Think of the original Robin Hood crawling through the underbrusR to 1 pluck an arrow into a Wild Boari The modern Specimen loads hls Gun with Slugs and goes after Railway Presi- ] dents.
 After he has fearlessly denounced ! Rockefeller and burned Wall Street to q Cinder, the returns from the Back i Townships show that Victory has perched upon his Banners. In a short time he goes down to the State Capital with an American Flag in his Hat and Jimmy in his Telescope.
 He begins introducing Bills calen- lated to drive out of the state every Scoundrel who has more than $1S00 put away. Whenever he gets the Floor he loosens his Collar and pulls the Hair down over his Eyes and holers at the terrified visitors in the Gallery.
 Then the Attorney with the Prince Albert who belongs to. the same Lodge, comes around to the Hotel to see him. Can he intimadate or bunco Our Hero? Not for a minute. The best he can do Is to induce the Member to go all over the Ground with him and then accept five or six Amend ments
 The Hon. Robin Hood is a sensible Statesman, and he discovers that he cannot trim the Cohorts of Centralized Wealth unless he gets real close to them So he begins sleeping with the Octopus in order to study the habits of the Monster and know just how to deliver the Death Blow.
 He investigates the Large Industries of the State, the amount of Stock is sued, the time for paying Dividends, the amount of the Dividends and how to collect Dividends without having any Check go through the Bank All this comes under the head of Commit tee Work.
 One morning while he is lying in bed meditating on the affairs of State he suddenly puts his hand to his Head and shudders, for he realizes that he cannot strike a Blow at any large Busi- ness Concern without injuring thou sands of innocent Employees He de- cides that the wise course is to regu- late Corporations without causing them any inconvenience.
 When it comes time to elect a Sen ator he is Adamant in his demand that the Caucus Nominee shall be a Man with a single hearted devotion to the interests of the Plain Citizenhood
 He positively refuses to back into line until it Is demonstrated to him that a Nice Fellow worth S32,000,00 may be Patriot, just the same as if he were living at the Poor House. Then he hearkens to the Voice or Reason.
 When he gets back home and looks over the Papers in the Tin Box he makes the pleasing Discovery that, in- stead of forty acres, he now owns swell halt. section right on the line of the new nterurban. Also he is in- terested very heavily in a Bank or ganized to help out Farmers who may need a little Money to carry them through the Summer.
 He finds time to read up on Existing conditions in America, and, as a re- suit of much Serious Thought, becomes ratifer Conservative in his Views and lets out an occasional Yelp on the subject of Taxes.
 Some of his active Enemies begin. 10 wonder out loud how he happened to do so well in such a hurry, but most of his Neighbors don't even Peep. It doesn't pay to get fresh with any one who owns a whole Half Section. Be sides, he has printed Copies of all his Speeches to prove that he always stood up for his Constits.