The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-28
By Ellis Parker Butler

squeaking out of 1t at what she saw there. I see the book wasn't getting fair show, so got up and walked along side of her, and her and me and the book made round trip every minute-her a. squeaking and me a-talking and the book calm and dignlfied, like 1t always is. She was saying, Yes. yes, yes! all breath less, and l was pointing out the beau ties of the illustration features, and the movers was both unloading furniture as fast as they could, and all at once she yelped and threw up both hands. An other van was backing up to the north house.
 What did she do?" asked the land lord.
 "She done her best, said Eliph' Hewl lit She knew she was missing three pieces of furniture and one picture for every five that she might have seen, but she done her best. She doubled up her speed and began to hurdle over the stools instead of going around them, and I dropped out. l can run plain race and sell books at the same time but I can't sell books and do hurdle race too I aint nimble enough. So I dropped out and gave her a clean field, but 1t looked as if she was never going to last out. She was getting short of wind and temper and getting groggy in her gait, and when she broke from a trot into a gallop l began to see the end. And just then another load of stuff backed up to the other house, and she took one look at 1t and curled right down on the middle of the floor and gyrated in circles. There was more rings to that moving circus than any one woman could do justice to. It was d case of baffled female curiosity, and it went in and produced f1ts."
 Wasn't you scared?" asked the land- lord
 For a moment l was," said Eliph' :, tan book, in which Is all the Knowledge of the world, condensed and classified, and I turned to the index. which contains ten thousand and one subjects alphabetically arranged. I ran my eve down the column until I came to Fits. How to Relieve How to Cure; see page ss7,' and I turned to page SS7 and done as the book told me- In three minutes Mrs. Tucker was sitting LID and able to look at maps of Europe, Asia, Africa, North and South America and Australia, and take an intelligent in terest in the Biographical Dictionary. I read her few of the Dying Sayings of the Worlds Great Men,, to sort of re- mind her how near death she had been and strengthened her up with some of the Five Hundred Ennoblng Thoughts. Including the Prose and Poetical Gems of All Ages and worked her gradually back to the Complete Condensed and Codifed Index, next to which is the subscription blank. She was pretty well tanned and toned down by that time Once In a while she would sort of throb when she heard some heavy piece of furniture drop on the sidewalk to north or west. but kept her right at the book until I heard the last wagon rattle away and then l let her sign the subscription blank and took her dollar the price of the book being-''
 q know" said the landlord, hastily: ''one dollar down and one dollar month until paid"
 s'Yes," said Eliph' Hewitt "She took the seven-fifty style of binding. But 1t just proves what I was saying. that even if, the rest of the year, woman has mind that is in the van of progress on moving day it Is in the van of furni- ture.'