The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1907-12-18
THr Tr090nIo nIWHFn
InL IL11O1 D.NH[n
RaitIssnakes on Toast Vas
ths Cowboys Order
BUT be RET With HIS MATcH

TIE Frardpinsss With Which Ca
Tough Waiter Served Ire Dish Tssi
ths Tsrrsrs Nsrv. A~ay-Ths Re-
past ard tha Final Request
Away back ID ls78 4 man named
/ Turpin established g restaurant d
Yuma, and among Iurpln's original
employees was q waiter named JOB
Straight who conid shoot with great
precision. play draw poker with an
varying success and pack eighteen
plates of miscellaneous grub upon one
bare arm At one time. He could exc.
cute sll TIE prevailing melodies either
On plano oT guitar. and be possessed
the most tremendous baritone voice
erer heard in Arizona. why, men some
times went 70 Turpin's Just to hear Joe
deliver gastronomic orders. No per-
feet description can be given Of that
voice, however. except to say that at
times Il really did make things clatter
Once a fresh young cowboy from
near ella Bend entered Turpln's for a
Christmas dinner who took a startling
coneoction as an appetizer and then
dropped thud-like At tabIs and rough
b shouted to Straight.
"Hay, there, Baldyl Bring me some
grubp
Job was At first appalled,. but, raeoY-
ering bis reserve Limit OF equanlmity.
~ brushed an imaginary b1eadcrumb
fFom the freseosd tablscloth and
whisked 3 bill Of fars from the Yarie-
gated castor and placed Il before ths
new young terror Of the Bend.
'Take Il awayF cried the latter in
tones that could give Etraights ordi.
nary. everyday baritone q castle and
eheckmate It in aye moves. Il don't
want 70 read your daned old tract.
I don't care a darn who came into the
world to save sinners. Bring me some
srub-g-r-u-bl Grub Grub Grubw
what do you wAntT'
Mathematics On toastl And want
you 70 hump yourselfr
Whats thatT
@I'ye given ny order, you baldheaded
old cigar store sign, and I want you to
get move on yourself, p. d. q. Rattle
snakes On toastw
4Rattlesnakes on toastis cried Job 70
the cook IN accents that would have
paralyEed Carl Formes had that old
basso profundo been living and heard
them.
"Rattlesnakes on toastW was the ro-
xerberaling response from the cook
upon receiving the order.
There were a dozen or more people Ia
the restaurant and their eyes were at
once turned on the young person from
The Bend and the Wfuriated waiter
In the meantime the cook had taken
big catfish and cut It into four strips
and rolled these strips In batter, so
that they much resembled the Wand or
dered, and after placing them IN the
frying pan be stuck his head out Of the
kitchen and shouted TO Job:
"You want them rattlers rare or well
eoneg
The walter repeated the interrogatory
IN cycionic way, and the terror re-
piled in as violent a tone and manner
as he could command, well done, with
plenty Of gravy and Chill Colorado"
And then Job thundered TO the cook:
"Well done, with plenty OF Chill Colo
fado, hot rs -, aud moccasin gravy
On the side and brochettes OF sand
crane llvers and CHA monster llghtsg7
There was an fnslantaneously dead
silence IN that restaurant. and al eyea
were agsin east apon the terror ana
the waiter. The former turned ashen
pals and began to weaken psrcsptiblY,
while Job Kaxed at his victim.
Maybe you don't think We can serve
ell the market afords.v muttersd Job.
Maybe you don't Hike meccasln gravy
~ DAN-AptAIs = IA 4ALos HHt 20 4VL
Ant hungry
"sayl You've got me-I Amt hungry.
% help me- I couldn't eat a single hard
Boiled egg. COunteFmand that burned
order, old man. and IN pay all ex.
penses and set EN- up as long as any
body can drink. Beg pardon, gentle
men, all Ny frst attempt te be ter.
roF-pardon me, gentlemen. It's my
lastw
And then he handed his revolver to
Job and added:
Take that pistol, old man, as
present and promise me that the next
time any burned fool comes In here
and calls for rattlsgnakes on toast
you'll shoot him deadg
But Straight was too raving mad all
ne way through to willingly emerge
from situation only toierably fri
umphant. So be took the weapon Just
as the order was being placed On tho
fsble and pointing Il Et The tsrrog
exclaimed:
NOW, then, my boy, dump yourself
into that chair and eat them snakes
bones. skin and alp
The young fellow did as be was com.