The Mena weekly star., 1907-05-23
SHOPPING FOR 4 HE WITH A LADY

that l wore only one kind. She said it looked outworn. My ties, I told her. were matters of little trouble to me. The plalnest and simplest sort would do. She affirmed that one could get anything in Kansas City, even plain ness and simplicity. if you were pre- pared to pay for it. The first store we came to looked good to me, but she snorted and passed 1t. We walked seven blocks and inspected 70 win dows. I am a man of simple tastes, but the lady explained at some length that that was what ailed me. What I needed was complicity.
 We went into the thirteenth store. The lady went up to the clerk
 Show me some ties" she said, im- periously. He looked at her and looked at me. For, for" he stuttered.
 For wearing" she suggested, ami ably. Ties to wear, around the col lar"
 The clerk overturned display case and almost tripped over himself in his haste.
 What we need at this counter" I suggested, '.is lady clerks"
 The Lord forbid" sighed the lady sitting down. The clerk came back with several boxes and opened them. He rubbed his hands and smiled pleasantly.
 Now, madam" he commenced these are some of our very"
 He caught the glint of that cold beautiful eye and stopped.
 Bring more" she said.
 He brought them. And more And more He contrived such a pile that he had to come in front of his counter to explain his wares. But the lady tilted her pretty nose disdainfully.
 Are these" she said sweetly, "all you haye?"
 No, madam" he brindled at last "but they are all we have room for on that counter"
 She flared at that and lifted her skirt.
 Come she said to me. l followed her wondering where what the clerk threw would strike me. When we got outside protested, or started to. But she only laughed.
 Stupid" she said, q didn't intend buying there disliked the look oi that clerk Come on." We went We passed five other stores and she decided on the sixth But before we went in I demanded an agreement We had to buy a tie
 Now that" she protested, is SC like man. You haven't said single word to let me know what sort of a tie you want. And you couldn't have worn any of those frights that horrid fellow showed us next door"
 Tt was miles away l murmured 'and centuries"
 She looked at me critically.
 Well now" she said, cooking hei eye at me critically. you are looking dusty and, yes. your collar is wilted."
 'Is that all?" asked.
 Dear me, no, l was asaerciful.
 Its a virtue" l said, that suits you. It looks fresh"
 Come on" she said again, and ir we went. If it wasn't the same clerk it was his replica.
 Now. madam" he said, what car l have the pleasure"
 Don't be premature" l suggested He smiled at me.
 ITO wait on our customers" he said Ifs always pleasure"
 "Salesmanship school" l thought
 q want a dark green tie." the lady said, mot too dark. mind you. With a shot silk effect. Now don't bring me wide one Something that will run easily through a follower collar. But not so narrow that it will tie in a skimpy knot"
 The clerk fingered his lips nervous ly He hadn't reached that stage in his salesmanship course.
 But wait, said the lady. q think won't have it with the shot silk eff feet. Just the plain silk
 The salesman went on and consult ed the foorwalker. They returned 1 together
 T fear, madam" said the foorwalk CT, that the tie you ask for is out ol ! date. If l might suggest"
 Do" l muttered.
 T fail" the lady commented, 'to ses | the necessity"
 The noorwalker bowed.
 Madam" he said, "in our business fashion"
 Have you got the tie want?" the lady demanded ieily.
 No"
 "Then, bless me, why cont you say so?"
 The fioorwalker bowed again. tried to look stolid and felt fool Come" said the lady. Again Isfol lowed
 What is the timer she asked me
 -Four o'clock"
 Dear me had quite forgotten Take me to Tostis for cup of tea"
 But my tie l protested.
 Gan wait" she said.
 And my wilted collar
 Its better than none" said the lady.-Kansas City Times.