davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-03-13
GOOD Jokes:
THE TALE OF A GERM:

The sky was bleak and cold and gray.
When forth a grip germ came to stray.
A snow pile lay
Within his way.
So in he climbed, with feelings gay.
What bliss is this he cried in glee;
This is the very place for me.
All snug I'll be
And fancy free
Until IL sign of thaw I see.''
Then he remained. and, by the way,
He reared large families, SO they say.
No shovel's play
Brought him dismay.
No streets We're cleaned. They let hin
stay.
We let him stay. although We see
Pneumonia, stalking grim ard free.
My landlord. lie
Would never be
Thus chary of evicting me.
Washington Star.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-03-13
Snake Rugged Him Hard.

Lexington, .Ky.-Willie Cundiff, the
ten-year-old. son Of Frank Cundiff, re-
sidingt on farm in Muhlenburg coun-
: ty, had a very exciting experience
with a large: black snake. The boy
went into the chicken. house to exam
inc some eggs in an incubator. When
he removed the drawer he discovered
ia large black: snake among the eggs,
part Of which he had. devoured.
q The reptile sprang at him. and
wrapped its body about his legs. II
did not attempt to. bite him. The boy
fell TO the floor In q faint, after calling
several times for help. His father
and one ct the farm hands went to
his rescue. The 81 AXE did not release
Its hold until It had been literally cut
ito pieces The reptile Was seven feet
Ions 81.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-03-13

to further. effort that is said to pre-
cede freezing 70 death.
A slight rift in the clouds of snow,
however, gave ME a glimpse Of the
fence corner had just left and
realized that I had turned almost en-
tirely around and was headed down.
town again. I took the hint, made a
desperate plunge or two for the fence
and imagined that it would be easy to
get back to the hotel for the night.
But it wasn't, and as the storm
lifted again, for a moment saw that
l had unwittingly turned a corner and
was headed due south toward the rail
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-03-13
'enator Clark's New Palace.

ClllQre0,
Senator CIark's New Palace.
Another multi-millionaire from the
west is Claus Spreckles, the sugar re-
finer of San Francisco, for many years
known as the Sugar King of the
Hawaiian Islands," He is generally
credited with. being worth about $780,
! 100000. He joined the so-called mil
lionaires' colony" on upper Fifth ave
nue. last August, when he purchased
the marble house Of Isaac Stern, near
SiXty-seventh street.
No residence in this neighborhood
attracts more attention than the elab-
crate, even fantastic, mansion of Sen
ator William A. Clark, Fifth avenue
and Seventy-seventh street. 1t has
been in course OF construction since
1899. Its cost has been estimated at
sums ranging from 100000 to S..
100000. Senator Clark, the Copper
King of Butte, will add a unique per
sonality- to the millionaires of New
York. His purchases of pictures have
attracted no less attention than his
business and political contests. A re-
cent estimate of Senator Clark's for
tune at something over $3.50 OOO, 600
was considered not excessive. IT,.
,, Two Great Foreign Fortunes. i
Passing to the great fortunes abroad
| the Rothschild millions appear as a
Colossus, to be measured with a foot.
rule. Their united properties pass far
! beyond the hundred millions. = In 70
years they loaned nearly a$45O,OOO. OO0
to European governments. Some idea
of their riches may be gained from the
fact that since 1916 they have raised
for Great Britain more than $1,000.
100000; for Austria, $25O,O0O, 900; fo1
Prussia, $200,000,000; for France
$400, 0OO,O 600; for Italy nearly $500, 900,
600, and for Russia more than 1925.
100000. -
Compared with American fortunes
most of the other estates held in Eu
rope seem small indeed. The property
OF the Duke of Portland, for example
is the second in point OF importance in
England. His estates comprise 1873, zoo
acres. including the famous WelbecE
Abbey and Sherwood Forest, and Lon
don properties in and around Regent
Welbeck and Wimpole streets, Caven
dish square and Portland road. The
dukes income is estimated at $500,
| 900 a year. -,
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-03-13
Another Use for Them.

Fine teathers,' remarked the man
with the quotation habit, do not make
fine BIRDS
No." rejoined the father of seven
grown daughters, but they make fms
fortunes for milHners.' = Chicago
Daily News
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-03-13

turning loose upon the community of
so. much pure food resulted in this
dreadful @scourge. As the people get
used to unadulterated stuffs, however,
they may be able to assinailate them.
Let us hope for the best. s,...'. =. ~.
''Good-day, madam. Life.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-03-13

Mrs. Hastymatch-I had dozen
proposals before yours, all from smart
Ell men than you, too.
Mr.. Hastymatch-The must have
been How did they manage to crawl
out of it?
Responsibility.
eff there is any trouble in this conn-
try said Farmer Corntossel, Il recE-
on the publishers will be responsible
for some OF it."
In what way?"
They've got all the people that
really know how to run things writ
in for the magazines instead O. hold
ing Office w ashington Star.
In the Tonsorial ParEor.
Il Think said the barber, as he
looked at the clock, that I have cut
your hair long enough
The victim looked in the glass.
Il differ with YOU he said, You
have cut it too short"
They clinch.-Chicago Daily News
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-03-13
Cause Of Unanimity.

Mrs. Henpeck-Do You notice Mr.:
H., that great majority of the news
papers are opposed TO easy divorce
laws?
Mr.. Henpcck twearily)-Yes.
wonder how it happens that editors
get such good wiyes.-N. Y Weekly
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-03-13
Always Marketable,

Farmer John-There's three barrels
Of eggs spoiled. ~.
Helpful Whichever mind. The
man what owns the Fashion Sulphur
Springs will be around before long
n. Y. Weekly. !.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-03-13
An important Omission.

''Gentlemen,' said the speaker, we
nave come to the parting of the ways.
The ties must be cut. The Rubicon is
before US. l need say no more. You
cannot be blind to the conditions with
whick we are, face to face
Say" yelled a man in the gallery,
you forgot to mention that the die
had been cast."-Chicag Recorder.
AID +: II.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-03-13
She Must Be.

Miss Stebbins is from Boston, isn't
she?'
Il think So l heard her ,.efer yes
terday to a sweatshop as 'perspira-
ton establishment Chicago Rec
ord Herald.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-03-13
Allowances.

/ Mr.. Happy-Yes, sir, 7 make my
wife a regular allowance every week.
Don't you yours? -, - 4. ....'
Mr.. Henpeck-No-o. She makes me
an allowance, when I earn enough
". Y. Weekly. .
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-03-13
An Objection.

DO you think there is anything odd
about this church fair proposal?''
We'll, you know about such enter
prises, there is always something ba-
ar."--Baltimore American
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-03-13
= Good Reason.

DO you think it wrong to play
bridge whist??"' r. - ts...=.-e
II am 'beginning to think So. l
never win anything: Chicago Daily
News. i : = E b.. = Il x LE *
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-03-13
Cause and Effect.

" Your love for me seems to be wan
ing" he complained. -> ~.
Well" she simply replied. my pa
rents have, quit objecting to YOU
Chicago Record Herald - ....@
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-03-13
Not if They Are Women.

Two heads are always batter than
one," she said.
oh, no, not always, he replied.
Not when it is necessary to buy hats
for them. "-Chicago Record Herald.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-03-13
Feed the Hunorv.

Small 1nsect-lm awful! hungry
Mother Insect-Be patient, dear:
the housekeeper will be along pretty
soon vita some more Of that nice in
sect-powder.--N.Y Y. Weekly.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-03-13
Cause Of Mans Foroetfuin...

Cause OF Mans Foreetfuiness.
If lovely woman, who has no mock.
cts, will stop to think that the average
man has at least Is, she may under
stand better why her letters intrusted
to him occasionally don't get mailed.
Montreal Star. '@& =St> -: e =.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-03-13
A Success.

''You have been making practically
that same speech all your life
Yes" answered the orator.
Yet it has produced No results"
NO. But it is something to have
gotten so many encores "-Washing
ton Star.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-03-13
Looking for BARGAINS.

S, Clerk anxious to create sensa-
ton There goes q marked man. i
Chorus of Shoppers eagerly -.
Marked down Bal fillmore American.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-03-13
His Theory.

You deny that there is any such
thing as hard times?'
"Certainly," answered Mr.. Dustin
StaN. prosperity is always with us.
The only difficulty is that it some
times becomes rather concentrated
and circumscribed - Washington
Star
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-03-13
Ord-Heral'

Willie Calf-Why is the old COW al
ways looking at herself in the pool
and boasting Of her graceful lines?
Johnny Calf-Why, haven't you
heard the cause of her vanity? One
Of the city hunters mistook her for a
deer.-Chicago Daily News.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-03-13
Familiar Story

Her Husband-Why is it that you
are always wanting money? l.:
h; His Wife, suppose it is because /
never, get any Chicago Daily News
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-03-13
4 Real. RIa;;rrier.

a IS there ANYTHING between those
young people Re 81
Nothing that I know Of except pow
erty. Z Balt imors Americas.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-03-13
Not Accurate.

Terms ale sometimes very mis-
leading
In what way:'
For instance, bee when it gets
down to business, is by no means a
fake, though it can be truthfully des-
cribed as hum bug. "-Baltimo:e
American.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-03-13
HAT PLUME TICKLES
NOSE; BITES IT OFF
LAW STUDENT GETS WALLOP FOR
SUMMARY REMOVAL OF
GIRLS FEATHER.

New YOrk.-An ostrich feather,
disgruntled young man with a pair
OF sharp teeth and an athletic and ex-
plosive young woman with q picture
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-03-13
A TRAGEDY IN TONOPAH.

How. was the man killed. inquired
the coroner, before viewing the body:
He WIZ shot in quarrel over
game O. cards, ledge, fer cheatin',' re-
piled an eyewitness TO the tragedy.
Why, l was told that he committed
suicide, but l wanted to find out how
he did it,
He did kill himself. jedge, but you
see-''
I thought you said it was a quar-
rel?'
An so it wuz. You see. it wuz this
way. Hank wuz the goI-cerndest fei
Ter ter cheat an fight that ever wuz.
He jest nachally couldn't hep cheatin'
in game an he'd fight at the drop @
the hat. Hank want no coward, if
he did cheat. So when seen
| Whom did he chea1?'
Himself, ledge. He vuz playin'
! solitaire. Judge.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-03-13
Painful Dentistry.

That man who has just gone out
is queer one" saiG the dentist
Pulling his tooth didn't seem to hurt
him a bit. but he writhed with az
gu:ish when l charged him so cents
for it,
That's old Tyte-P hist," observed
the man with the swollen jaw, seat
ing himself i'll the vacated chair The
! only thing that really hurts him is
pulling his leg. '-ChicaEc Tribune.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-03-13
EXEMPT.

The talesinan plainly DID not want
10 serve.
.Nhat's your eNc1l'e?" s:ernly ask
ed The court.
Il am reputed to he of at least az
erage intelligence replied the tales
man. reaching for his hat. for, Of
course, they had to let him go.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-03-13
HELPLESS.

why do YOU allow tho stage man
aeer to subject YOU tC so many UPS
and downs?" asked the Flies of the
Curtain.
How can I help MYSELF" retorted
The Curtain. with bitter emphasis
Hasn't he always got the drop On
me:"-Baltimore American.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-03-13
At a Low Ebb.

City Man ton z rural jaunD-.Are
YOU going to have All agricultural cA-
hibition here this year,
Farmer (sadly)-No-o. In 'fraiG
not. Most of the old ladies what
makes quilts is died Of. and there
amt decent race-hoss in the coun-
try-N. Y. Weekly.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1907-05-22
LANDSLIDE Strikes TRAIN.


In the Sioux City line the mail
service was severely crippled last week
on account of a wreck at Calliope.
la. 1t was caused by a land slide, and
it was thought when the slide occur
red on Monday that the trains would
be run through on time in "a hours,
but it was found later that it would
require several days if not weeks to
get the bluff in shape so that it would
be safe. AS the bluff slid down it
pushed the track and engine off down
the embankment. The engine after
wards settled in the DIRT and mud so
that it could not be raised with an
ordinary wrecking derrick. Friday
one of the Milwaukee's large steam
derrick's passed through here enrcute
from Savanna, III to the scene of the
wreck to lift the engine out of the
mud. A temporary track has been
built around the old line and trains
are being operated over it until the
hill can be cut down enough to make
it safe for a train to pass.
Fortunately no one was hurt SER
iously but had the train been so feet
farther on. the entire train would
have been covered in from Is to 80
feet of dirt, and a terrible disaster
would have resulted.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1907-05-22
sHRINERs' FUNERAL TRAIN.

The funeral train of five coaches
passed through Manila at il 20: Fri
day night. One car the. interior of
which was almost solid bank of
flowers. bore twenty -nine caskets lad
en- with the remains of the Inflated
Shriners who met their death in a
wreck in California early last week.
The toll of the engine bell was the
only signal that gave warning of the
approaching train. 1t is said that
out of respect that the use of the
whistle was dispensed with, while
passing over the division.
The train stopped at Manila only
long enough for Conductor Kelly to
get orders. One of the saddest of all
the passenger was a lady whose
husband and father. the only living
relatives that she had in the world
were being borne home in caskets, to
Reading. Penn. to be laid away.
The train also carried the remains of
an engineer who had run for over so
years on the Pennsylvania railroad
out of Reading, almost without an
accident. Most all Of the bodies went
to Reading. Several Masonic hreth-
ern of this point were at the depot.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1907-05-22
Incorporated in Denison Review 1907.
THE RlNGRIDING.
Manila verein Remember the Sports
of the Fatherland,

The Germans of the Verein at
Manila held the annual ringrl ding
and day of kindred sports on Monday
OF this week. In the Fatherland
Ringriding Day" is the holiday for
the country people who serve for
the landlords and the ladies. When
the customs of the day are carried
out. the hired man could go to the
stable and saddle the best horse for
his own. and the young women were
privileged to wear the mistress
gowns. All positions were reversed.
and the masters served the servants,
entering into the day with heart and
spirit. The most popular young man
and woman were chosen King and
Queen and were waited upon as true
royalty. Thus the holiday came into
vogue.
With afternoon the German farm
ers and their wives and children and
single men and maidens began to ar
rive, and by two o'clock things were
in readiness for the procession about
town. Mr.. Ed. Caldwell was ready in
the vicinity of the Park hotel with
the gayly bedecked band wagon drawn
by four handsome horses. Then an
accident occurred. The horses took
fright at the band and turned sud-
denly and dashed againts the clubhouse
of the hotel. and foundered in the
hotel garden. The only occupant of
the wagon beside the driver was
Carl the little son of Charley Schroe-
der. president of the day. The father
saw the danger and leaped from his
horse. sprang to the wagon and made
sure his boy was safe.
In time the procession was ready to
move, and with the band in the
wagon. the members of the Verein on
horseback each with red sash, a
line Of march up Nam Street was
made. Ahead was carried the Ameri-
can flag. then came the flag of the
Fatherland. broad stripes of black.
white and red.
The ringridng took place on the
Main street at side of the public park.
The contest lay in riding at canter
and while passing by ring of iron
suspended at level with the eye, to
run pointed iron through the hole
which was about half an inch in
diameter. The iron which had a
barbed head would but just pass
through and to get ring was no easv
job. A large number entered the
contest but in many cases they had
substitutes who were more expert to
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1907-05-22
HONOR FOR MISS POTTER.

Miss Potter, the principal of the
High School here was given a party
in her honor at the home of Miss
Prosser Saturday evening. Miss Pot
er has taught here for three years and
is now to leave. There was a large
number present, and in the course of
the evening refreshments were served.
During the luncheon period Miss Pot
ter was given a salad dish and spoon
with her school building engaved upon.
it to remember the M. H. S. She
was good teacher and will be miss
ed by all.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1907-05-22

Rev. Lacey was accompanied down
to his preaching service near Astor on
last Sunday afternoon by the Presby-
terrain choir and there was some fine
singing. There is union Sunday
school with an attendance last Sun
day of about seventy.
Atty. w. S. Moore returned satur-
day morning from a ten days visit
with relatives at his old home in
Springfield. Missouri. Mrs. Moore,
and daughter Ruth did not return with
him owing to the illness of the latter
who has been sick since her arrival.
at that point; however at The present
writing. she is improving and will
be able to come home this week.
Miss Joyce's Sunday school class of,
boys entertained the three girl class
es taught by Clint Dyson, Rev. Cable
and Mrs. McCracken. at the home of
Mr.. Van Slyke. They held kangaroo
court Merle Hladik acting as judge.
Rev. Cable and Mr.. Van Slyke act
ing as lawyers. Every boy was fined
Is cents. In turn the boys fined them.
Lowell Brokaw acting as judge. He,
fined them each $1.OO which they
heartily( y paid.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1907-05-22
CREAM MARKET SCARS.

About ten days ago Mr.. Emery,
who has driven cream route out uf
Manllla' for several years. served
notice on the Fairmont Creamery Co.
of Omaha that unless he had a raise
of wages he would hire out to another
firm which was about to start sta
ton at this point. The wages were
not raised and another company rent
ed small room near the Fairmont
station and was opened for business
last week Monday. The Fairmont COM
pany's place was closed Monday and
Tuesday but Wednesday morning they
had "Shorty" Hays and Mr.. Gritty,
two of their best men from Manning
on the ground ready for business.
Cream at once advanced from 20 to
Is cents per pound butter fat, and by
noon it was up to 80 cents and by
night it had gone to so cents. But
about that time the bubble burst.
News reached the local parties here
that the heads of concerns in Omaha
had gotten together and had compro-
missed matters. so Mr.. Emery has
gone back with the Fairmont Co. at
an increased salary and the new
Omaha man has folded his tent like
the Arab and silently stolen away.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1907-05-22
A RECEPTION.

Mrs. Isaac Hlrd and her sister Mrs.
Brown who are prominent members
of the Pythian Sisters order gave a
reception to the other members of the
society at the beautiful home of Mrs.
Hird on Saturday afternoon last. 1t,
was specially in honor of Mrs. Ruby
by who is about to leave our midst.
A delightful two course luncheon was.
served. The affair was one of the
bright social events which Manila
people are constantly arranging and
which make life here so enjoyable.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1907-05-22

Established 1896.

Jim Griffin was an out of town Wis
Tor Monday.
Pearl johnson returned home from
Shelby Tuesday.
Mrs. o. T. woodward left Tuesday
for Yuma. Colorado.
A son was born to Mr.. and Mrs.
Fred Lingeman Tuesday.
w. S. Moore has returned from his
visit at Springfield Missouri.
Mrs. Gardner and daughter Grace
We're Omaha visitors Tuesday.
Grover Schroeder of Perry spent
Sunday with his parents here.
E. A. Packard and wife and Mrs.
M. Stone went to Omaha Friday.
Born to Mr.. and Mrs. August
Pierson. daughter Wednesday.
Ed. Smith and family visited with
his brother Eugene at Dunlap Sunday.
C. A. Saunders OF the Greedy Stock
Farm was in Omaha on business Fri
Gay.
Mr.. and Mrs. John Getter are the
proud parents of baby girl born the
18th.
Rula Tryon went to Perry Thurs
day to visit her sister. Mrs. Geo.
Disburg.
Geraldine Perion is enjoying visit
from her friend. Nellie Welsh of
Buck Grove.
Dot Morgan and one of her pupils
Miss Nordham returned to Danbury
after short visit here.
Miss Cox who teaches the district
school visited over Sunday at her
parental home in Defiance.
Mrs. Champion. cousin of Mrs. S.
M. Nicely returned to her home in
Council Bluffs Wednesday.
George McDermott and Bill Hook
leave Wednesday for Van Meter, S.
D. to hold down their claims.
Harvey Hayes who is in the en-
ploy of the Fairmont Creamery Co.
of Manning was in town Thursday.
Father Hummel of Earling and
Father Shenannon of Coon Rapids
were guests of Father Coffee Thurs
day.
Dwight Hutchinson. manager of
Dyson. Calvin & Co.'S. general store
at Buck Grove came home Sunday
evening.
Mr.. Brokaw and wife went to
Avon. S. D.. Tuesday to visit their
daughter and son-in-law, Mr.. and
Mrs. H. B. Schram.
Elsie Nelson of Shenonadoah has
been elected to teach the seventh
grade of the public school here for
the coming year.
The home of Claus Kuhl was the
scene of birthday party in honor of
Mr.. Kuhl. A good time was reported.
Several of our townsmen were in at
tendance.
DR.. McCray. of Omaha. came Sat-
urday to operate on Mrs. Fred Hage-
dorm northwest of town for a tumor-
GUS growth in the region of the kid
neys. He was assisted by Doctors
Resner and Wickman of this city.
We understand the operation was en-
tirely successful and that Mrs. Hage-
dorm. who is under the care of a
trained nurse from Omaha. is getting
along nicely. Manning Monitor.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1907-05-22

Mrs. Vanepps of Clinton county
and her sister from Nebraska arrived
Monday evening to visit their cousins
Mrs. B. H. Buffinton and Alvin
Willis.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1907-05-22

ALI Miller returned Friday morning
from two weeks visit at Hot
Springs. Missouri.
Mrs. Chase of Defiance was over
having some dental work done recent
ly.
Among the Denison people at our
town Monday were q. M. McAhren
and Will Laub.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1907-05-22
WANTED AT MANILA.

A yard man. good wages. also
kitchen girl and girl to tend short
order counter at night. Address De-
pot Hotel. Manila. Iowa l9-tf