The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1907-12-10

scrip we have will be retired, and
real dough will look good, but the
old subscriber will Insist on paying
up with wood.
On the I'd, Speaker Cannon will
assemble at Washington, where he
will re-elcct himself and resume the
enactment of law in the presence Of
the Democratic minority and other
oalookers. The final edition Of the
presidents message will be read,
Wall street will be given another
|physic; and it will be officially de-
cleared that this country cannot eX-
st half capital and half water.
Mr.. Fairbanks will take rufugc in
the dignity Of the senate from his
cocktail prosecutors, and several lcw
members will be taken into that *
elusive club Of multi n>;lionaircS.
Congress assembled will take up
great public c"-stions like The need
Of ii lie" federal building at Podunli
and Coyote Center; the growing de-
maId for more elastic currency,
and why nobody will stay in the army
at the generous induccmcnt Of $l3 Il
month and found-dcad in The Phil
lippincs.
Persons born under ihc sign Of
Capricornus the Goat are great ora
tors, tlinkers' 'aAd Teachers; self
| IL i
story tellcrS, eat too much. have
style and pride, talk too much, are
distrustful, and can keep a secret if
males). They arc selfish and never
get the hot cnd of it in an exchange
Of Christmas gifts. They continue
to hang up their stockings when it
is hardship upon others to fill
them. Girls born in Capricornus
are hard TO win, generally preferring
a parrot to the stork.
The want-wolf's wall will ride the
blast j
Where poverty prevails;
a few late laggard geese will pass
With winter on their tails.
The sleigh will jingle up the road
the lines around the whip, and George
and Nellie, in the robes. will loves
own honey sip. The sleigh will hit
a 10 foot bank, and they'll 90 roll
ing down, with Nellie's foot in Gcor-
ye's facc-ani walk six miles to
town,
The new rules for farmers promul-
gated by the Farmhands' Union will
go into effect on the 1st, viz: Far
mcrs will provide automobiles for all
help, and will serve rs chauffeurs
they will eat at the second table, and
sleep III the hayloft; they will rise
at 4. do the chores, and serve break
fast TO the hands in bed at 9; they
will provide Il phono@rarh and the
current magazines; hands will sup
ervise the farmwork from IL to -,
and from 2 till 3; the earnings of
the farm will be placed in a bucket
every Saturday and poured through
a ladder placed horizontally, with
the ends Oh two chairs; what goes
through, the hands gct--and what
sticks on the rungs goes TO the far
mcr.
Santa Claus will make the usual
| rounds on the night Of the 24th. Men
will get cigras, neckwcar and mus
tache cups. Ladies will get the mon
ey-which they would much rather
have. Children will gel the stomach
ache and its complications.
And then comes January i'll
70 plague us with some ancient bill
As only January can
Disturb the happiness of man.
Then Leap Year dread shall come
again with Nineteen Hundred Eight
when womankind of growing years
and single upto date, will nit the
machelor's plain@ trial-the unpro-
posing wrctch-and make the worthy
for awhile exceeding hard to ketch.
Fools and Wise Men-And Thanks
giving Day.
Prosperity, Dee. 5.-Tuesday'
Georgian mad an editorial that
| rstruckD us yrry. forcihlv which