davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22

upon her love for the stage, had en-
outraged her in the belief tnat snss
could make a great actress solely 1oI
the a of the money she would pay
him for his services as a coacn, M
sack-her Jack-had been caileoDa
sucker. -
III odious word bit into her brain
and it was with difficulty that she tOok
up her lines when her u came. Inc
tomb scene was mercifully short Sne
bowed and smiled to the perfunctory
applause as the curtain rose again
Most of.the audience was heading Tor
the entrance; h claque alone re-
ma iEed faithful. -
Stanley, as the curtain fell, turned
to ofer his congratulations, but sne
roue hly pushed him aside. Iemp,e
had come on to the stage. ana she
went straight to him.
"Jack," she sobbed. take me away
from here. Take me home; 1 ooh I
want to act: 1 want just you, dear.
And Temple. writing a final cneGk
for Stanley, laughed softly to himseII;
His investment in fame had yleloeu
ripe returns. as he had roresSen.
Gee pyrighted, 1907, by homer
Sprague.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22
GLOBE SIGHTS.

[From the Atchison Globe.l
None Of us are as important as we
think we are.
We defy you to hide your fool
streak a month.
The attack on whisky and the rail-
roads seems to be general.
None of US come within thirty days
of doing what we should do.
Another thing that we are unable
to get interested in is q balloon race
Always remember that knockers are
at work on you when you least ex-
pect it.
Cut out one-half of the unnecessary
noted man.
Be your own critic. Look yourself
over at the close OF the day. You
needn't spend a great deal Of time at
il, but it will pay you to decide wheth-
err you have done as well during the
day as you should have done. Every
man owes a duty to some one. Do you
discharge that duty as we'll as you
should?
The Operation club will meet to-
morrow night at the home Of Mrs.
Lysander John Appleton. This Is a
club made up of women who lave
submitted to surgical operations, and
a woman to be eligible to membership
has to prove that she has had some
thing cut out of her. The speaker to-
- ASA wa OAAAN@ a.
had seventeen surgeons cutting at her
at once. 1t is recognized that she
carries Off the local honors: Wherever
the association meets she is given the
biggest rocking chair.
This is the way the men think a
certain incident in the Bible should
have been written: And Eve, being
tempted, did eat OF the apple. and
when she knew hat she had sinned
she made UP her mind 10 Get Adam
Into 1t, Too, and told him to take a
bite; that it was good. mo, Eve" he
replied with hrmness, at would be
Wrong, and 1 Can't Do Wrong" but
you must eat with me-" she insisted.
He again refused. and when sweet
coaxings and angry threateninEs
failed. she, Being Stronger Than
Adam, and made Still Stronger by her
anger at his refusal. Threw him to the
Ground. Holding him PROSTATE with
n hand, she Forced His Jaws Apart
with the other, and then pounded a
piece of Forbidden Fruit into his
thrca But Adam, alm ost fainting
with and horror at tho
Sin. still refused to swallow it where
upon she Held His Nose, and Made it
Go Down..
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22
AYHlWKER JOTS

A Kingman man sold a pan of mules
recently for $500.
A Stafford man old a load of hogs
for 1892. Alfalfa seed is about the only
thing that will beat that.
Here's another record for this year:
A Brown county farmer gathered eight
bushels of apples from his orchard.
ST can't see any harm in putting the
big potatoes on top of the measure
old 81 Chestnut is quoted by the Sedg-
wick Paragraph, THE customer would
get them just the same If they were on
the bottom"
A Butler county farmer advertises
for a lost pocketbook which he says
contained two wenty-dolla gold pieces
besides some small change A Kansas
farmer ought to be shame to lose
a pocketbook containing anything less
thar hundred dollar bills.
Endurance test noted by the Law
renee World: A French airship inven-
tor says he can stay up sixteen hours"
But that's nothing. We know a wo-
ty-two hours, when luck happens to be
coming his way and h other Fellows
don't go broke. y
Short grass item: Billy Barlow, who
homesteaded a claim ten miles from
Belvidere, in Kiowa county, some twen-
ty odd years ago, and began turning
| the sod with a team made up Of a horse
| and COW, was in Lake City this week.
Mr.. Barlow has prospered since that
long ago time and is now owner of a
5000 acre ranch stocked with 500 cattle
and horses galore.
Reports from the p~heasants that were
turned loose several months ago under
the direction Of State Game Warden
Travis, are coming in. Here is one
from the Brown County World: Sam
| Brown says that the hawks got the
first pheasants he turned loose. Mr..
Brown got some more p~heaSants and
the last time he saw them each hen
had a brood of young pheasants.
A Prize Package sat by it's humble
abode, and chewed a mahogany bum; it
muttered, IT wonder If there is a road,
thai leads from the moon to the sun?
If there's such a road where star-war-
riors rode, ere the Argonauts rowed
out of Rhodes Here the Foolkiller
came with a bludgeon of elm, and the
Prize Package flew with the toads.-
From THE New Mother Goose" by D.
A. Ellsworth.
Hard luck item by Tom Ellis in the
Burlingame Chronicle: This is a hard
world Some time the writer had
a heated argument with somebody
about the National Biscuit company
being the cracker trust, which the
other party strenuously denied. Re
cent Developments have proved most
c~onclusively that we were right, and
row we cannot remember who the
other man was so we can go and gloat
over him.
Alma Enterprise: In all the stories
of tall corn told by the Kansas City
and Topeka papers, we have seen none
to equal that of Fred Zeferjahn's at
Paxico, whose corn by actual measure
ment is seventeen feet and seven inches
tall and eleven feet and seven inches to
the ear. The Enterprise knows these
figures are correct and has seen the
corn and unless some one beats it very
soon, Wabaunsee county claims the
credit of raising the tallest stalk OF
corn in the state in 1907.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22
JOURNAL ENTRIES

THE mosquito is indicted" says a
dispatch. But what is really needed
is that the mosquito be arrested and
executed. So far as we are concerned
or not.
Just as like as not a bea hates to
be shot by a president just as badly as
by anybody else.
Some way this department can not
get excited over the reported rise in
the diamond market.
y -
At the dinner at the Y. NJ. C.. A.
building Saturday evening, John Mac
Donald engaged in an argument with
another man about h ability of a
Britisher to see a joke. Mr.. MacDon-
aid holds that an Englishman can see
the point as soon as anybody If he I'M
derstands the language-which is
contrary to the general superstition.
A few minutes later an incident hap
pened which shows that even an
American audience is not always
quick to catch on" w. T. Ellis, the
newspaper man who was one of the
speakers of the evening, had just wit
messed the Washburn-Haskell foot
ball game and its disastrous score Of
33 to 0 against the Indians. Mr.. Ell
lis began his address by stating that
he had just seen the beauties of a
kansas sunset. But I also Witness
ed" he continued, "a sight which I
supposed belonged to a generation
past and gone: An Indian
He paused. There was Hence. Then
somebody giggled. A moment later
several people Uttered. Then a gentle
laugh ran through the audience. But
it was not until Mr.. Ellis drew the
diagram that the joke hit everybody.
ct saw those gentle Congregational
ists," he continued, perform the
Christian endeavor of trying to make
good Indians of the Haskell
Rv that time the full force of the joke
was understood and a roar followed.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22
FROM OTHER PENS
WATER

water is enjoying a boom. The presi-
dent is agitating Gas ever) for more wa
ter from the lakes to the gult. 1rrlga-
tion congresses and irrigation projects
are calling for more water. Georgia
makes a demand for water by prohibit
ing the sale of its usual substitutes.
Kentucky, which a few seasons ago
would not use water even as a chaser,
asks for nothing but water in a hum
dred counties. 1t is reported that Henry
watterson has signed the pledge and
that the min beds are growing up in
weeds. Michigan wants to write n
her constitution a preference for wa
ter. Many cities are planning to in
crease their supply of water. There Is
also talk of draining the everglades and
Wall street, but that is another story.
At any rate, there will have to be a
few floods to quench the rising thirst
for water.-washington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
IFrom the New York Press.1

IFrom the new York PressI
A mans barber can remind him of
home by talking SO much without say
ing anything.
When you read poetry to a girl she
knows you don't mean It unless you
want to hold her hand.
Starting the furnace is a splendid
way to need to go to church to make
up for the language you used.
A dangerous thing about being in
love Is the only way you can md out
whether you really are is to get mar
ried.
A woman calls 1t being cross II her
a he likes chops when he
doesn't suspect breakfast is going to
be Goldfish In cream.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22

thousand years. Not on.y that but
Count Sneeze's family is said to be the
most wealthy in the empire. SO that
there is no occasion for him to seek
an American bride on hat
But all these things will not weigh
against the prejudices of us Americans.
We think it all right for a man in any
country to expatriate himself to
come to this country. but we just can't
have much respect for an American.
mar or woman. who will leave the best
country on earth to tie up with some
foreigner of title"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22

ITS generally a mistake" said Uncle
Eben, TO lose Time rum 6n annsin a hard-
luck story."-Washington Star.
He-You know. If you worry about every
little thing, it's bound to affect your
His wife-Yes. I know. That's one Of
the things 1 worry about.-Town ana
Country.
That's the way the thing was told to
me, but, of course, there's always more
"Of course. there are always as many
blame. "-Philadelphia Press.
Irate wife Ito bibulops h%usband>-
Where have you been until this hourT
B. H.-Been out s%hoppin', m'dear.
Irate Wife-Then why didn't you have
your purchases sent home instead OF try
troit Free Press.
the baseball game did you offer him an
Biiiy-No: I offered him my sympathy.
BiIly-Sure. Sympathy for de grand
mother he had lost de same afternoon
Does your wife wear a low gown at
II should say not. That's the highest
kind 1 buy."-Cleveland Leader.
The man who is always expecting the
lWOISl usually IG6dIoS II dS n SOIc ~
umph when the worst happens.-Chicago
Record-Herald.
"Out of a job?'
"Yes-and they put a woman in my
place"
"Gee! Well, I'll tell you-why don't you
marry the woman ?"-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
First Cur-How did you come here?
Second Cur-Ohi the dog catcher just
wired me and so I came.-Chicago News.
why are you so distrustful OF the rail-
ways?"
II lost faith in 'em the first time I no.
ticed that every one of 'em issued maps
howin their own line drawn with a ruler
and the others looking like bent harpins."
Washington Star.
What" queried the very young man,
us the secret OF h~appiness?"
1.-THE secret of happiness" answered the
of Sageville, lis not to let your trou-
bles bother you any more than they bother
your friends. "-Chicago Daily News
Handsome customer lin art store)-I'd
like to get something that would make a
suita BILE present for a young man.
Salesman-If you will pardon the sug-
gestion, 1 think a nicely framed portrait
of yourself would
Handsome customer-"O, he wouldn't
care for that. He's my husband. you
know.-Chicago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22

why in the world" asks an ex-
change, should the president stir up
Castro right on the eve of the depar-
ture of the fleet for the other side of
the world?" Well, the fleet is going
right by Castro's front door,, and if he
wants to do business with this country,
1t will bes handy to have the fleet drop
in and see him about it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22

Those who read in Taft's statement
about returning to the Philippines for
another visit some time, an intimation
that he is out of the presidential race.
must ave been anxious to read some
thing of the sort. The wish was father
to the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22

1t is alleged that the Southern Pa
cifc political machine is organizing
"Roosevelt-Taft" clubs in California
in order to maintain it's hold on the
politics of that state. You can always
depend o the wolf getting into
sleeps clothing If the necessary wool
Is lying around.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22

1t is to be hoped that the score of SO
to o that Washburn piled up against
Haskell Saturday will not come to the
attention of the commissioners of ndi
affairs. Commissioner Leupp might
consider that 1t was an imposition on
his wards.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22

Chancellor E. BENJAMIN Andrews of
the University of Nebraska says those
who libel Mr.. Rockefeller ought to be
punished by hanging. Why is Chan
cellor Andrews encroaching on the
preserves of Chancellor Day? His
university is a state institution and
does not need any of Mr.. Rockefeller's
mnnaV-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22

Since that Standard Oil conviction in
the Alton case the railroads won't pay
back a 25-cent o~vercharge unless it has
the o. K. of its legal department.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22

enterprises. AS it is. they are finding
it more profitable to hunt around and
find little investments of their own of
a size that they can watch and under
stand.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22
A FAKER.

An English reviewer gravely as
sures US that Landseer's famous paint
ing. Eagles Attacking Swans" is
based on an entirely false assumption.
Eagles do not battle with swans or
other quarry. They strike or pounce
upon their prey and never descend to
vulgar brawling. n Is a
comnliment to the eagle, but a sad
blow for art-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22

Down in Tennessee a man has mar.
ried a Miss Dollar. He may find thai
is a mighty expensive way of getting 4
Dollar.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22
MORE

There ought to be a state prison for
those who destroy the hopefulness n
lessen he energy of their fellows;
thew are human ravens erernally
croaking their "Nevermore!" like that
dismal fowl whose neck the poet
should have wrung at an early stage
ch%eerfulness a dispenser of sunshine.
-London Throne.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22

Thus far the friends of W. r. Stubs
are running him only for United States
senator, governor and state senator.
Quite likely somebody will propose
him for a few more offices before the
time for nominating comes.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22

A college professor says the people
who libel John d. Rockefeller ought
be hung. Sure. But is it possible to
libel MI. Rockefeller?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22

The EXPENSE of running the state Of
Kansas amounts to something over two
million dollars a year. In other words,
1T would take John D.. Rockefeller's
income for several days to pay his
state's annual pen
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22

Only 2.2s2 government liquor licenses
have been issued in Kansas this year,
as against over 5000 last year. How
ever, that ought to be enough to
quench a considerably supply of thirst.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22

The king of Siam is reported to have
paid $62 so for a pair of socks recently.
Must be there is a sock trust operat-
ing in Siam.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22

Tt is said that the Thanksgiving foot
ball game between Kansas and Mis-
souri, may be played at ST. Joseph
Does this mean that st. Joe may wake
up for a few minutes on Thanksgiving
DaU2
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22

A market report states that Cheese
is stronger" Yet some of it was en-
tirely too strong before.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22

Horses are increasing in price right
along, Notwithstanding the automobile.
People who expected horses to be given
away with every can of baking powder
they buy are doomed to disappoint-
mont
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

Here is another thing in favor of a
balloon race: There is no j~ockeytng
nor false starts.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22
Exprcrs no no IT AGAIN.

While he is saying very little yet,
it is understood that Tom L.
Is shutting the cards with his aceus-
toned dexterity and overlooking no
bets anywhere on the tabie.-Ana-
conda Standard
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22
EvERy LITTIE BIT HEI

President Hills despair over the
desperate plight of the railroads con-
tinues to be relieved by. extra dtvi-
dends. They are q great balm for the
oppressed.-Boston Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22
cETTING so THEY LIKE IT.

Rryan's Commoner says the Chicago
peopie were "bunkoed" into defeating
Mayor Dunno. However, Chicago peo-
pie are so used to being that
they probably noticed nothing un-
usuaI.-Washington Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22
ANOTHER POPULAR AIR.

The song, dig Her Deep Through
Dixie" will, no doubt, have a compan-
ion song in Washington next winter
called las We Go Marching Through
the Treasury."-Houston Post
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22
UP AND DOWN.

When tickle Fortune tackles men,
We're hither, thither hurled:
And then it's said of certain folks,
world!
the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22
Cruising on the Nile.

Our trip led us at last to a boat on
the waters of the Nile where we lived
three weeks of glowing luminous days,
while the hours passed even as the
sands of time. In leaving Cairo and
passing through the big bridge we
were surrounded by the most ethereal
boats 1 ever saw, and they were but
the curtain raiser to the continuous
performance going on around US after
wards. We came ahead by day, not
so very fast for the channel is treach.
erous, and the native, taking frequent
soundings at the bow often failed to
prevent the boat from sticking her
nose straight in the mud. No harm
came except vociferous shouting in a
language sounding much like turkey
gobbling. Meanwhile the sailboats
glided by, graceful and swift in spite of
their clumsy framework. some were
ferry boats, old and tattered and
crowded with laborers, family parties,
donkeys, everything. Others We're
laden with jars or fodder for the
kine,'' and still others were the far
famed dahabeahs, a kind of winged
h~ouseboat. They all came near enough
for us to feel well acquainted with
their passengers.-The Travel Maya
zine.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22

TROUBLES OF THE
Be discreet by wireless, lest caves
pick you up 1900 miles
way-BostOn Transcript.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22
HAS 1T ALL TO HIMSELF.

Since 1901 some OF PreSIueHl MOUSSE
veIt's strange bedfelows seem to have
tumbled out of the bed.-Anaconda
Standard.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22
They're way up

But others. not so lucky in
This bufeting about,
Are thus described in pointed phrase.
Poor things, they're
down
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22

Lady, lend me your hatpin, please"
aid a burly iceman to a resident OF
West Philadelphia; me partners gone
up the alley with me AK" Accordingly
the lady lent him her hatpin and then
watched developments. The iceman
stepped to the back of his wagon and
prodding a great cake of ice with his
slender article of feminine apparel,
soon severed a piece of ice Of the de-
sired size. AS he delivered the ice he
thanked the lady, remarkfng as he did
so that he usually carried a hatpin
himself, but thought his wife must
have worn it the day before and for
gotten to return it. The circumstance
seems odd, but inquiry disclosed the
fact that trained nurses are given to
using even ordinary pins in breaking
off bits o Ice to administer to fevered
patients, and that a larger pin such as
a hatpin, is efficient (and far less noisy
than the usual ice pick, the latter arti-
Gle being tabooed in the sick
Philadelphia Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22
HUMOR OF THE Day

.It,s generally a mistake" said Uncle
Eben, ito lose time FUN huntin work
while you is tryin to capitalize a naro-
luck story.'-Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22
Felt Like Bedtime.

A professor who is slightly absent
minded had arranged to escort his wife
one evening to the, theater. II don't
like the tie you have on. I wish you
would go up and put on another" said
the wife. The professor TRANQUILITY
ebeyed. Moment after moment elapsed,
until finally the impatient wife went
upstairs to learn the cause of the de-
lay. In his room she found her hus-
band undressing and getting into bed.
Habit had been too much for him when
he took of his t-ies-Argonaut
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22

First Cur-How did you come here?
Second Cur-Ohi the dog catcher just
wired me and so I came.-Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22

That's the way the thing was told 70
me, but, of course, there's always more
than one side to a story"
"Of course. there are always as many
sides to a story as there are people &c
blame."-Philadelphia Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22

Irate Wife Ito bibulous ~husband)-
Where have you been until this hour?
B. H.-Been out shoppin', m'dear.
Irate Wife-Then why didn't you ave
your purchases sent home instead of try
ing to carry such a load yourself?-De
troit Free Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22

lou OF a job?"
"Yes-and they put a woman in my
place"
"Geel Well, I'll tell you-why don't you
marry the woman ?"-Cleveland Plain
| Dealer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22

The man who is always expecting the
worst usually regards 1t as a personal tri-
umph when the worst happens.-Chicago
Record-Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22

ways?"
II lost faith in 'em the first time I no.
ticed that every one of 'em issued maps
showing their own line drawn with a ruler
and the others looking like bent harpins.'
washington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-22

He-You know. IL you worry about every
little thing. it's bound to anect your
health.
His wife-Yes. I know. That's one OF
the things 1 worry about.-ToWn ana
Country.