davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-04-15

Wanted Men to learn barber trade.
Splendid pay after few weeks with US.
Positions or locations to start business
always on file. Special inducements
this season Particulars mailed free.
Moler Barber College, Chicago, III.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-04-15

Wanted-Competent girl for general
housework. Small family Mrs. A. j.
Clark, I'll West Linn street.
Imperial Valley press., 1907-07-30
A FROST
"Rev" Wentworth Meets With Pretty Cold
 Weather at Silsbee

Rev Charles Wentworth gave the SiIsbee people Friday night dose of the same stuff he dealt out to Holt vile a couple of nights previous and the reverend politician received one of the worst trosts 1t was ever his nisfor- tune to encounter He tried to work up enthusiasm with mlstatements and paIpable falsehoods. But the people ddn't enthuse He rehashed the same old statements about the lodging of taxes. which the voters of the valley are fully satisfied are not true He had to be. corrected In some of his statements. they were so inconsistent
Imperial Valley press., 1907-07-30

with either truth or logic Alter the meeting had adjourned, but before the crowd had Assembled Mir A. D. Medhurst. of Fl Centro. made d few remarks and the report comes that the Silsbee people cheered him 10 the echo The Imperial push wishes now 1t had kept Wentworth away from SiIsbee for the very aspect of Meth odist minister trying to use his lnfLu ence to gain votes for town of blind pigs Is disgusting In the extreme.
 The Rev" gentleman Is losing the respect of his own members, as we'll as that of every self-respectlng. fair- play loving citizen outside of the church.
Imperial Valley press., 1907-07-30

attack on the C. D. Co. Howe was closeted for hours with the manager of the C. D, Go. at their offices and following this conference came Howe s attack on the c. D. Go. and the cor poration of the valley (excepting of course the Imperial Land Co.)
 Now was Howe directed to make this attack on the c. D. CO. by the c. D. Go. manager or is he simply one of the Id scoundrels who won't even stay bought. v
 Remember that Roy D. McPherrin Is the local manager of the C. D. Co.,. and law partner of F. C. Farr that he Is supporting Imperial for county seat and Farr for Judge and then think what sucker you would be Mr. Voter to take seriously either Howe or Farr's attacks on the C. D. Co
Imperial Valley press., 1907-07-30
The Standard and the (. D. Co.

The old timers in the valley need not word to convince them of the hypocrisy of the Standard editor n the attack it is now making on the c, D. Go. People who have been in the valley as much as three years all know that on every occasion where the in- terests of the people of the valley were opposed to those of the C. D. Co.,, the Standard has espoused the cause of the C. D. Go.
 Voters who have not been In the valley long enough to know these facts are invited to inquire of the old settlers as to these matters incidentally they are also invited to inquire if at all these times the local attorneys for the C. D. Go. were not Farr & McPher- rin, the same Farr who now has the gall to make ugly remarks about the C. D. Go. and corporations in general. We now assert as a fact that Howe has for months received fifty dollars per month from the c. D. Go. and for What-not for advertising, for no C. D Go. advertisement has appeared in the Standard few days prior to the first
Imperial Valley press., 1907-07-30
FALSE s
 .

Although believe tk lat most o the people of this valley k9oV of and teal- ize the treacherous attitude takenN by The Imperial Standardand Its willy skp
 porters against my cahddacy for ludEe of the superior court And that The godd citizens of Imperial Valley know thaf the articles published In the Standard are false and malicious. Still l do not wish to leave a shadow of doubt In the minds of the people as to the truth contained in the articles published.
 wish to state over my own sigma lure that the C. D. Co.,. through their General Manager. H. T. Cory, did everything in their power to prevent my nomination at the convention and
Imperial Valley press., 1907-07-30
Voters, AtteatiOn

Do not allow your good judgment to be affected by the oratortcal outbursts of the professional spelldinder who be- comes inebriated by the exuberance of his own yerbosity. Do not allow the professional pencil pusher to have any influence over you.. but calmly and dis passtonatsly decide to, cast your vote for county seat where It will be of the greatest good to the greatest number Victory will surely perch upon the Fl Centro banner but we want 1t to perch as high up as possible
Imperial Valley press., 1907-07-30

You had better buy an Fl, Centro lot now before the prices go up, There Is no better investment in the country today than1a resident or bust ness lot in the town that does things, Fl Centro Land Co.,. See the agent al the office. l5tf
Imperial Valley press., 1907-07-30
WOOdmen, Attention

Fl Centro camp Woodmen of the World invites your attendance at the meeting in Fl Centro Friday nights of each week. Only camp In the valley. Come and have a good time with us. Masonic hall. FL Centro.
Imperial Valley press., 1907-07-30

Zon-o-Phone talking machines and records for all disk machines for sale by Teller, the Singer agent, Postofflce building Impe rial. 47tf (
Imperial Valley press., 1907-07-30
MI: MENTs DENIED
Franklin J. dOlAl Denies Statement pts of the
 StandaFF i'd aAd Tells Few FaF

to my knowledge thiS opposition has not been abated for Ian Instant since the convention andt l can truthfulIy say that Roy McPh4trin, who has been in charge of the CE D Co affairs since Mr. Cory left The valley. Is bitter ly opposed to my election and Is using every means possible to insure the election of F. C. Farr Furthermore kwsh 10 state thatsI am In no wise uA Ader obligation oSany company, cor poTNtion or other organization for sup
 portNn this campaign for the office to which | aspire, but that 1 owe every thing tS the loyal Support of my per
 sonaI fr'snds. nofone Of which has asked 3ledge of favor of any nature WhatsoeveA FRANKLIN J COLE.
Imperial Valley press., 1907-07-30
WE'VE GOT 1T

The court house! Come and see. Your old whiskers removed and clean place made for new ones. Something new: at the Fl Centro Barber Shop. w. z. D.. Prop.
Imperial Valley press., 1907-07-30

For Superior Judge, vote for Harry N. Dyke, independent candidate. Five years continu- ous residence of the Valley. l6-2
Imperial Valley press., 1907-07-30

See H. C. GrisWoId, the farmer agent. about selling your land for you,
Imperial Valley press., 1907-07-30

We have the finest sanitary foun- tain in the Valley Valley Drug Go
Imperial Valley press., 1907-07-30

If you have land to sell or rent come and list with us Ira Aten Land Co.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-03-24

tn elbow an projooce diff rent kinds IL
noise that tn Germans call music. TIL
Germans tell US what is music an
what amt. Wan kind iv noise is mu-
sic an another kind isn't l don't know
when to dhraw tn line. 1t amt music
to file a saw. but it is music to give n
poor imitation NV film a saw on fid-
die Wan man blows into a flute an
say: That's a disagree bic noise
No says tn German, that's music.
Another man blows into his coffee an
I say. There's music No says tn
German. that's a disa gree bic noise
Take n pianny. In all this broad
land We won't hardly fSd a house tina I
doesn't harDor a pianny. Rich an poor
alike they all have thin. TIL same
notes that dhrives tn millionaire firm
home to Cypress tn poor. sinds tn poor
man willingly to be oppressed. No
home is complete without this here
large mahogany box flied with scrap
iron. A PLAINLY is tn wan thing that
distinguishes tn very poor firm tn
pauper. Ye'd think man was crazy
if ne armed two dollars a day an spint
three hundred on a bass dhrum, n
slide trombone. "a bass fiddle, an yet
amy wan ~ thin makes betthoI
sounds an Looks Drcttier thin Il plan
ny. y piauny amt half as good look
in as a thrunk or d foldiu' bed. Even
a German cuddcnt build anything
homelier. It's made out iv tn SAME
kind " wood as d coffin an it AIM
anything like ms well formed.
"Ye see HoHorya's piaHny whiu
twas brought in. All tn little boys an
girls in III neighborhood watched eight
Dutchmen tottn' it in on their stom-
achs. which. HinniSsy. is a German
laborin mans substitchoot f'r arms
Tn monster carrid away tn Gur5
sashes, knocked tn top oq tn stairpost
upset tn stove. an kicked great hole,
in tn plasther Whin it was dhroppel
on tn fure it shook down tn bust i,
Dan1 O'Conen an tn pitchers fr'm tn
wall. We whit into tn parlor thai
night an near jumped out iv ye'el
boots whiu We see GRIMM mon.
sther. blind. with its horrid rows i,
black an yellow teeth exposed to We
an its gr-reat coarse body restin' OF
huge bow legs. A pianny i'm tn tWi
light looks like wan iy thim submarin,
monsthers We r-read about in IN pa.
apers. relics il tn old times whin mel
dhressed be eetin' out " bed an Kill
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-03-24

''I went to the court ROOM" said
Eliph' Hewitt. "and told my sad story
to the judge. He wept, but as he wept
he reached under the desk and brought
forth a copy of Jarby's Encyclopedia
of Knowledge and Compendium of Lit
erature. Science and Art and placed it
in my hand. Go home he said, and
read this noble work. Study it. Let
your wife read it and study it, / took
it and staggered away"
81 don't want any books today" said
the young man. I'D like that seat, if
you please"
II read it, said Eliph' Hewitt. 81
let my wife read it. With the Handy
Home Doctor we cured our children.
The Complete Kitchen Guide made our
table fit for a king. We became a hap
py family. For every day in the year
there was something helpful-from
Swimming, How TO Float, Swim, Dive,
ct cetera. to the Ready Reckoner, Civ
ing short cuts in figures, how to meas
ure corn in the crib. water in a well,
ct cetera; with steel engraving of the
president, an allegorical frontispiece-''
Il want that seat" said the young
man, angrily. You have no business
coming in here like this. Get OUT
Here" said Eliph' Hewitt, turning
over the pages of his book, 1--WE have
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-03-24
MARsE HENRY MUSES..
Henry Watterson in the Louisville CouT
ier-JOUrnal)

Henry Watterson in the Louisville CouF-
ier-JOUrnalD
Now let rs 90 down into the tomb
of kings and muse for awhile upon the
vanity Of things human, albeit claiming
the right divine; for nowhere else on
earth-not even in Westminster Abbey-is
the lesson taught SO impressively as IN
the EscOTial.
The Abbey is not without its human
features. 1t has, as it were, a soft and
sunny side to it. Out of Poets Corner
is exhaled a certain fragrance of the
past and the hand of Chatham, though
in marble effigy, still points inspiringly
to the greatness and glory Of England
There seems redemption for the sins OF
Edward the COnfessOr. if he had any.
of which there is no doubt, albeit by
proxy and anticipation since ne is still
alive, and there is something reaSsuring
and compensatory, if not pleasant, in the
thought that Mary, the hapless and / fear
me the not very viTtuOuS Queen of Scots.
lived at least as good in law and morals
as the royal cousin who murdered her,
and by the side of the son who in the
eEd came to his own; equal, all three OF
them, in immortality.
The whir and din of LOndOn's streets
like the roar of the ocean, luil the dreams
-Of those who sleep in the Abbey Not
a sound save the scream of eagle or the
screech of night hawk penetrates tho
walls of the EscOrial to disturb the rest
Of the Hapsburgs. the BOurbOns and the
MOntpensiers, silent if not snug lying
there in their iron collins, with gold
clasps and jeweled labels, each upon an
other. like so many steel blooms. await
ing the day of judgment. And what d
Judgment
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-03-24

the marvellous classified index. Fits,
how to cure: Fizz, gin fiZz. how to
make; F'labbiness, how to prevent;
Flags, history of: Flanders. map of;
Fleas, how to train; Fleas, how to kill;
everything from A TO Z. twenty thou
sand references in all. Why run the
risk of having a happy home broke up
when this one book, costing only So,
bound in cloth. will insure peaceful
matrimony? Here" he said, turning TO
the young woman, lis advice to hus-
bands. telling how to treat their wives
with gentleness and love, giving the
rights of woman; and here" he said,
turning to the young man, lis advice TO
wives. telling why the husband should
not be tied to his wife's apron string,
why the husband should be obeyed, the
horrors of jealousy, ct cetera- Why
pay the cost Of a wedding. only to have
to pay the cost of d divorce, when for
81 down and 81 a month until paid you
can assure "a"
But we don't-we are not" began
the young woman Eliph' Hewitt in
terrupted her
mot engaged" he said, with sur
prise. mot engaged-and this book
only S. for which sum all the dangers
Of married life are smoothed away.
Who can afford not to be engaged when
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-03-24

firm the brass band. Hogan, who's
great FIR all kinds, wanst took me to
hear what he called tn higher music.
There were sixty or siventy German
men playin' on difrrent Instruments.
Some were scrapin an some were
BLOWN an some were thumpin' an
lady with a harp plucked firm time to
time OF that conthraption. A large
man standin' up IN front pinted at wan
section CT another with a stick to tell
thin whin to begin. He'd pint to tn
fiddlers an they'd fiddle. he'd glare at
tn man with tn slide thrombone an
he'd shoot out his fist yard; he'd nod
to tn lady with tn harp an she'd
pluck three times at tn STRINGS an
resume her nap: suddenly something
made tn large man angry: he got red
in tn face an looked to be about to
throw his club at d red-headed man in
tn back row.
I'D been watchin' this fellow fr d
long time, an see he'd been sojerin'.
'Ye're caught now. me lad says ]. An
he was Win he see tn angry ex-
preston on tn boss's face he jumped
up an bate upon d dhrum which is
called kettle dhrum. firm tn wurruds
kettle an dhrUm. ontil tn dhrum sticks
bounced i'm tn air. At tn sound tn
other performers were aroused 10 mad
ness, an stampeded. They got away
firm tn leader. He cudden't do amy
thing with thin. He ragged, he SHOOT,
his fists at thin. he begged, ne plead
ed. he threatened first on wan side.
thin tn other. They scraped, they
pounded. they blew. no wan pawn
amy attintion to annywan else. Tn
sounds bumped each other like men
th~vin' to escape from a burnin' build
in. weak sounds were thrampled I'M
dher foot be burly notes firm tn slide
thrcmbone-
TIL lady with tn harp reached over
an bit tn STRINGS. 1 see with me own
eyes tn red-headed man take a rum
min Jump at his kettle dhrum. a des-
prit German climbed up in tn organ
I loft an opened tn stOp-cOck New in
sthruments were inthrajooced as tn
old vans were destroyed. Wan man
] bate a wash biler with a monkey
wrench; another rang bell; some
coughed others whistled: a cannon
was fired; a charge III dinnymite ex-
pl0ded an til concert was over. As
we come out into I'll almost uncanny
stiffness uudher tn ilivated railroad
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-03-24

said the book agent. ITO divorce or not
to divorce, that was what worried me.
Home was a hOrrid place. My wife was
as fair and as sweet as this young lady
at my side. Love! See page 230; we
had il. Marriagei See page 235; we
were married. Divorce, See page SS4;
and it was coming nearer every day.
Why, ladies and gents? Because our
home was lacking this book. We had
not the Complete Kitchen Guide, giving
five hundred useful recipes, making
any home cooking equal to the best, on
page 100. We had not the Handy Home
Doctor, page GA, giving the approved
treatment of all infants and children's
diseases, Group, measles, chickenpox,
mumps, how to render teething pain
less; nor the Complete Home Dress
maker, page 297, by means of which
every wife may be her own French
dressmaker and cut. fit and trim her
own garments. No, we did not have it,
and our home became a scene of quar-
rels. There were no Five Hundred En-
nobling Thoughts from the Worlds
Best Authors, as given on page S64, to
soothe our hours of idleness, and we
were unhappy. ! went out to get d.
vorce."
The young man with the wafer
pitcher looked iongingly at the seat.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-03-24

the price is only 81 down and 81 a
month until paid, rendering divorce an
impossibility, but giving full particu-
lars how TO get one if needed2 If not
engaged, why not? See page 23O. in
Guiding How to Pop the Question
making it simple and easy for the most
bashful. See page
"WelI." said the young man. lit amt
my fault if we amt, Josie. You know
that"
And 1 don't blame her for not being
engaged said Eiiph' Hewitt. with
out Jarby's Encyclopedia of knowledge
and Compendium of Literature, Science
and Art who that knows the dangers
of married. life would dare to be en-
gagged? How could she take the risk
when not fortified by this love-insur-
ance policy in one volume. including
the dying thoughts of famous men and
women? And how can a young man,
when the price is only 50. bound in
cloth. $3.50 full morocco, hesitate to ask
his love TO be his blushing bride? With
this book in her hand she does not fear
to set sail upon the waters of matri-
mony. Will you" he asked the young
man, hesitate TO spend the sum of S.
to have this lovely girl place her hand
in yours and say. L will be yours for
life, since Jarby's makes me secure y
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-03-24

into what Hogan calls tn chambers iv
ye'er ear, snuggles down close to TIL
dhrum an goes TO work. with an au-
ger. I've known a man with a large
family " girls who was employed to
edit a pnoomatic hammer on a sky
scTaper pause with a look IL anguish
on his face an curse as a lady in tn
house next dure begun tn five finger
exercise.
Me neighbOr gives me a concert w
~ mOrnin'. She was just through
whin We come in. Tn music teacher
arrived at ten o'clock an at ten five
Misther McGraw boorded an east
bound car in tn direction iv tn lake.
had to stay. Things that will dhrive
man firm home won't dhrive him
firm a saloon. TIL entertainment be-
gun an wint on to its usual length.
I've got it timed exactly. f'r tn music
teacher is hired be tn hour. She's in
fatchooated with tn plain ~ her pupil,
bu1 whin ] peeped in wan day l see
| her lookin' at tn clock. I've got tn
performance timed TO tn mint, but
can't help it. ivry day I give way to
onmanly hopes that ] may be wrong. ]
3 think me clock may've stopped. but it
hasn't. Thin I hope tn music teacher
/ or tn pianny will jump out " tn WIN
/ dow or. Gawd rrgive me. somethin
viii happen TO tn poor girl hersiif !
pray to keep firm thinkin' that tn in
tnocint young thing may luckily squash
/ a knuckIe. not bad. dye mind, but
enough so that I can get i'm me WUr-
/ ruk with Dock O'Leary an have him
/ tell her if she doesn't stop pracusin
/ FIR awhile she'll niver be able to get a
weddin' ring on her finger. But nawth-
/ in iver happens. At tn end ~ tn
/ half hour she's as fr'resh as iver while
I've hardly strength TO kick tn dog.
/ "Afther these performances tn
thrafner hauls out TIL March " Nor
ma or TIL FiIy " tn Rigmint.' Hav-
in an extensive acquaintance among
tn marrid with families 1 know thin
Two er'reat wurrucks be heart. TIL
music teacher sets on a small chair
/ alongside tn pianny stool an me
neighbor sets on tn PLAINLY stool. II
isn't high enough to give her tn proper
reach f'r tn back molar teeth iv tn
pianny an she gets up an twists it.
7 Thin she sets down again an looks I'M
dherneath tn pianny to see if she's got
/ he- feet right on tn pedals; her face
] assumes an expression " a man about
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-03-24

each other with stone hammers instead
w railroads. 1t might aisily have
slime firm tn bottom iv tn sea on it.
Look at its gapin' mouth. If its fat
legs cud carry it fast enough a small
mouthful it wud make iv ye, Hinnis-
sy. IN tn twinkiin' iv an eye it cud
gobble We up, grind We with its wicked
ch-omatic scale an swallow We into its
fearful inteeryor.
''Forchnitely it is a slow and timid
monsther like all that comes up firm
tn bowels iv tn sea. 1t niver moves
or attacks amy wan. but whin hurt,
whin amy wan slaps its mouth it gives
forth q thin little squeal. To see tn
size " tn pianny an to hear its weak
cry whin assaileJ is wan " tn most
melancholy things I know ~. Ye'd
think this er-reat huge monsther whin
sthruck wud belch forth a roar that
wud blow eff tn roof But no. out jv
its vast cavern. full ~ iron rods. bolts,
screws. wire, wood an varnish comes a
tricklin' little cry FIR help like a chick
en- lost i'm a storm. 'Tis as if an elephant
clucked. Afthor awhile ivrybody takes
liberties with it. HoHorya cant go by
it without pIayin' few missteps firm
tho popular waltz IN little boys run
their dirty thumbs acrost it to make ii
squeaI. an m'Hy We use it to store
ve'er cuffs an hat.
I've often Wondered what music
is anyhow, Hinnissy. I don't like pi-
amy music. though I've heerd some "
tn best players an ali tn worst in
me time. I've seen thin all firm a
Young lady that made a score iv -four
out iv a possible nincty-three to d fell
low that got down close to tn pianny
an Played it be winkin again tn keys
Whin he got through tn ladies in tn
aujeance climbed On tn stage an
kissed him. As 1 looked at tn ladies
Mercy shrugged with Justice, but as
I looked at tn fellow Justice triumphed
an I SAYS To meself: It serves yt
right. It serves ye both right
What's music annyhow, I'd like tC
know. TIL Chinyman down tn
( sthrcct whiu he's sint tn last shirt
home to tn wrong man can get d LOT
! iv fun settin' around with his frind.
on Saturday night be hitin' a CONS
with a stick whin he thinks " 1t.
can't keep me feet on tn ground whir
blind Clancy is wheedlin' tn Rocky
rood out " the pipes an nawthin' bu
a f0Ur-iliven ire wud take me ava!