Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-12-27
/ SUPPOSITIONAL
CASE
By MAX aDELER

One r. our lawyers. 1lr. Simms, had
visit recently from % man named
Buddy. Str. Buddy entered the Office
upon cTutches. and his face was Gov
erred wifh Commissions 80 that ne look
e. Is Ii be had emerged from terrific
conflict with an antagonist who had
wo7 q complete vict0ry. Placing hiA
crytches against tie table and seating
himself very carefully il the chair. lr.
Buddy said.
~Air simms. JUS dropped II 70 Sc
you 10 git a Hrile advice on point
Of law in which I'm interested. and
I'd he much obieeged If you'e tel ne
exactly what ny rights IL me matter
are. I'D put il il this way. S'DCse'n
you were 10 marry a wilder. under the
idea that she was an angel-thar she
was so sweet that q barrel OF sugar
was mere bitterness alongside II her.
and s'pOse'n after you were cOusoli-
ds-ed with her you were 10 find cut
that she had a temper Ike 2 she Wild
cat. and an unccnquerabIe custom Of
banging you over the head with skill
lets OF most anything that came handy.
50 that you didn't know what minute
she'd git her mad up and skeer you
pretty near 70 death
Now. s'pose'a this wilder and you
was 10 disagree about a little matter
Of chewing terbacker in the house and
trying 70 spit in the stove. and she
was 10 up and tell you-!n your own
house. mind you-that if you KEEP aim
ing al that stove and missing 1t she'd
warm you up with Z brOOm-handle or
the like. and you were 70 say that
you'd chew where you'd a mind 10.
and that while il was free country,
you'd hit the stove CT miss it jus as
you pleased
And s'pOsen one word brought on
another. until she got on a terrific
rampage, and come al you and tried
10 snatch out your hair: while you
grabbed her by the wrists and held her
so she couldn't And then s'pOse'n
while you were rassling with her you
was 70 get the best Of it SOS she
couldn't do anything but have the
Mysteries and scream, and you all the
time afraid 20 let go lest she'd hustle
you out through the winder.
Now. s'pose'n that wilder had
dog which belonged 10 her first hus-
band. and would rather bite you than
not. and all Of a sudden she was 10
heller for that dog, and he was 10
come bouncing into the room, and, see
-T--
hold OF a mouthful Of your right leg.
and shake it as though he was going
10 bite 1t loose before he left; and The
wilder all the time sicking him on and
encouraging him TO help himself with
cut any regard for your feelings and
s'posen when you let 90 Of her 10
tackle the dog she should bang you
with the scrubbiRg brush until you
looked's If you'd been ground up in
bark-mul. and then wouldn't CAL OF
the dog until you hoIlered enough
.S'pose'n al this. what I want 10
know is. cant you sue that wilder for
assault and battery. and set an IL
junction On that dog That's what I
came 20 see you about. whether you've
got 10 stand having your leg chewed
and your head smashed with q scrub
bine-brush. or whether this greac and
free governments going TO protect its
defenseless citizens. I want 10 know
how Il Is
NJ. Simms looked very solemn for
2 moment. as If contemplating the
problem carefully. and then he said:
~ don't really see that the law can
10 anything in such g case. Mr. Buddy
If The nan married the widow be be
came part owner Of the dog and il
was. therefore. in tlc- his own dos
ha- assaulted him Besides thar. Is
. men and his wife are one flesh, the
widow has q partnership interest il
he mans leg. and when she sci the
leg upon il she was really encowag
ne the animais to mu-ilate her own
property No action can be against @
.erson who induces her own dog To bite
Ter own leg nor viii the law give her
edress If she ba-1ers her own head
With her owr hands for the wife who
trikes her husband really strikes her
eli"
You don't mean TO say exclaimed
IT. Buddy. in q blaze OF indignation.
hat is the law OF this land. OF this
cry country where our f0refathers
led for liberty, You don't actually
aean 10 tell me that q red-headed
-idder. with a Iyer-colored dog. can
make that dog gnaw q mans
sg into sausagemeat while she
him with z club, and that he
ant chuck her into jail for il; that
e's got to stand up and take it,"
I'm afraid he has" said Simms.
18th q sad smile.
Well. then, said Buddy. rising and
sizing his erutches. that just lets
lie out as far as this idiotic land is
3ncerned. I'm going TO cult. If wild
ars are 10 be allowed 10 carry on as
men had no rights. III emigrate and
mt up some country where eRlighten.
! civilization don't allow widders &c
ye. Let's see. its India, isn't il,
here they kill the wilder when her