Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1907-06-06
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Age cannot wither the infinite varie-
~ of an actress husbands.-New York
Mail.
Summer will have TO go some to
make up for this spring.-New York
Mail.
A woman has an awful good time
hoping other women envy her.-New
York Press.
The more fun you could have spend
ing money, the more you don't know
where TO get it.-New York Press.
Contracts may be divided into bar
gains, marriages and Pittsburg matri-
monial alliances.-New York Sun.
If the Spanish baby has had its first
attack of collie, the news has been care
fully suppressed.-Wa Post.
In all probability there will be no
shortage in the wheat crop except for
trading purposes.-Philadelphia. Press.
Millinery stores are now advertising
the "airship hat" Another way to
make the money Washington
Post.
Ruef says he fears injustice in San
Francisco. But it's exactly the other
thing that scares him.-Philadelph
Ledger.
When wheat reaches 81 the farmers
are reconciled to the wicked men in
the pit who deal in futures. New
York Tribune.
To complete his popularity King Al
fonso has only to appear on the streets
of Madrid pushing Il perambulator.-
New York Sun.
How does our weather man make
his predictions?" queries the Washing
ton Post. Poorly, brother, poorly
New York Mail.
No doubt the Hon. Abe Ruef is a
firm believer in the theory that man
should not be hit when he is down.
New York Mail.
Mark Twain is to get a degree from
Oxford University. But will he ever
succeed in acquiring the Oxford man
ner?-New York Sun.
Notice that the Weather Bureau is
asking no credit, even among the farm
ers, for the dollar-wheat episode
Philadelphia Inquirer.
Ian Maclaren was neither a warrior
nor a politician, but the mourning for
him is deep, sincere and worldwide
Philadelphia Inquirer.
\ New Jersey woman is going to far
off Asia to get husband. No place
is too far and no danger is too threat
ening-New York Herald.
The sentence of a New York woman
to seven years Imprisonment for kill
ing a man reflects upon the value of
the man.-Philadelph Ledger.
The New York Ice Trust is to ex
pand to embrace coal and wood, so
there will be no closed season for its
patrons.-Philadelph Ledger.
German scientists in opposing the
use VI lilC IOu til SIhOol. uC CCl
tain of the hearty appreciation of the
small boy.-Philadelph Ledger.
When a man wears clothes that are
out of style either he is so poor he has
to worry about something else or SO
rich he doesn't worry about anything.
New York Press.
Tho poopa1ino ,rriter who 6enIoraS
the decadence of the English language
could get into a better frame of mind
by skipping the baseball reports
Philadelphia Ledger.
1t was an English actress, not an
American, who suppressed news of her
marriage through fear that she would
be accused of seeking to advertise her
self.-New York World.
Commentators upon the new plan to
make Chicago beautiful will probably
not speak about painting the lily or
adding another hue unto the rainbow.
New York Tribune.
A London literary critic thinks that
laughter is immoral. Physicians say
it is a splendid aid to digestion. Shall
we be morally dyspeptic or unmorally
happy?-New York Sun.
Nebraska farmers must be riding in
Pullman cars mainly now. The LegiS-
lature has passed bill reducing par
lor-car charges within the State one
third.-New York World.
The ceremony incident to the chris
tening of the little Spanish prince con-
tinued for two days. Christening a
boy with u names is a strenuous IN
dertaking.-W Herald
That Chicago man who proposed at
luncheon and married at shutdown is
liable to get in the divorce court at
breakfast and get a decree before his
noon Observation-Disclosures CONNER
cial.
Although the per capita consumption
of sugar in this country was rs pounds
last year, it was not enough to coun-
teract the effect of the lemons handed
to a good many of us.-Washington
Post.
Mark Twain is complaining about
man who looks like him. Still, if the
man doesn't look enough like him to
draw his pay at the cashiers window,
he has no real kick coming.-Washing
ton Post.
A scientific sharp some time ago de-
tected a human soul in the act of leay-
ing body, and now Haverhill doc
tor has succeeded in weighing one.
Somebody may yet catch one of they
if they don't watch out.-New York
World.
The Pennsylvania Railroad station
at Oxford, near Philadelphia, sold for
S12! This must be that much-predict-
ad -