The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1907-07-20
WAVING UP A sK0RKR.

WAXING UP A sKoRKR.
"Iguess the oldest job I ever had, :"
said man who in the course of his
life thus far has had many curious
employments, twas waking up q
snorer.
"The man had this Job with was
a man of good deal more than COM
Portable means, and just about as nice
man as ever lived but he certainly
was a snorer. This didn't used to
bother him any, on his account, but
it did use to worry him because it dis
| turbed other people, and he tried all
manner of means to stop it.
HE tied up his head when he went
to bed so that he couldn't open his
mouth, and he tried sleeping on his
right side and on his left, and on his
back, and lying straight, and lying
crooked and every way. But moth
| ing doing. He would get to snoring !;
and finally he thought up the idea of
having somebody to sit in his room
nights to wake him up the minute
his trombone started, and was the
man he got. He hired me through
his physician. I'd done work at one
time and another for this doctor and
he recommended me.
"It looked like a good job to me,
at the start. He was jolly, nice man
and he fixed me up very comfortably
in sort of alcove there was in his
room, with a big easy chair alongside
table with lot of books and mag
azines on it, and with high screen
between the chair aud the table and
bed to shut off the light from him.
Now, there you are,' he says,
the first night l sat in with him,
books and papers and an easy chair,
and you just make yourself comfort
able, only don't rustic the leaves any
more than you can help, and what
ever else you do don't upset the screen
when you're hurrying to wake me up,
because that would startle the folks
more than my snoring Then he
went to bed.
'He hadn't much more than got
there before he began to snore, but /
was on the job, standing at his side
and waking him in minute, and he
was bit surprised that first time /
walked him, but he remembered in a
minute and said All right, son, and
smiled and went to sleep again.
81 had to wake him like that two
or three or four times night. irreg-
ular, sometimes more, sometimes less
but we got along all right. He sure
was an able snorer, and sometimes
he'd start right off full blast right from
the jump, but usually / was able to
get to him before he'd begun to make
the house tremble, and things went
along that way, everything all right,
for about seven weeks just as nice as
could be, the scheme working as slick
as you could imagine and the boss
'sIt was night work, know, but 1
didn't mind that; the pay was good
and the work easy, and ! thought /
was fixed and settled in about as nice
and easy Job as a man could have.
Then all of sudden one night this
Job went up'the spout.
"That night, or along about quar-
ter past 3 in the morning it was, while
/ was sitting there in the big chair
waiting for the boss to turn up, / felt
somebody shaking my shoulders, and
shaking hard enough, pretty near, to
shake my head off, and then / wakes
up and sees the boss standing over me.
"Governor, says, what's the
matterl' though / knew what was
the matter well enough.
Natter he says, matter ! Why,
| if snore one-twenty-ffth AS 1crd as
you do wonder they didn't put me
out of the house long ago.
"And that's all there was to It the
governor had been little quieter than
usual that night, and not being called
so often had fallen asleep on my post
and gone to snoring myself, and !
| suppose the boss was right about how
| loud was snoring, because as mat
| ter of fact / am something of a snor-
er /; if could only rely on my snor.
ing regular and even I could have
made fortune long ago hiring out
as a fog horn anywhere on the coast.
'No wonder the governor was dis
turbed; I'd walked up not only him,
but the whole family, and that was
the last of my job.
"He took it just as nice as could
be; in fact he was inclined to laugh
over it, and think it was sort of fun
ny, but he said he couldn'tta take such
a risk again, and he just gave me a
months pay in advance and let me
go. Z,
"That was the only job of the kind
lever took. Ihad thought after I'd
been with the governor there about a
month 1 would make this my regular
business; 1t was easy and good pay,
and could get plenty of other people
to look after, just as I had this one
through my friend the doctor; but
after this experience, when ] came to
consider what might happen if I
should fall asleep myself, why, ! did
not think it would be fair to my Gus
HY--.. u. c.