Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-08-17
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Martin.
City Man-Has your wife a good
cook now? Suburbanlre-I don't know;
l have not been home since morning.
Pioneer Press.
Yes. I'm going abroad at once.
gotta go" "oh, you mustn't let the
doctors scare YOU" Il got this from
lawyer" Herald.
Silllcus-When would you say that
n man reaches the age Of dlscretion2
Cynieus When he realizes that he Is
too old to marry.--Philadelph Rec
ord.
Maude- When you refused him my
hand, papa, did he get down on his
knees? Pater-Well, didn't notice
just where he fell.--New York Even
ing Mail
She--Ilc has most extraordinary
figure, hasn't he2 He-Thats so. 1
believe IN umbrella Is about the only
thing he can buy ready made.-Ally
Sloper's Half-H Holiday.
"TompkIns is having an awful time
with his new auto" I'm what way1'
Every time he repairs It he has lot
of parts left over that he can't find a
place for, Milwaukee Sentinel.
Magstrate-W WHAT Do you mean to
say your husband struck you, and he
| that physical wreck? Mrs. Maloney-
Yes, yer honor; but he's only been n
! physical wreck since he struck me-
| Independent.
First Tourist--~What are you writ
! ing down? Second Tourlst-I'm maxi
! ing a note of few things that have
made an indelhle impression upon my
memory, SO | shant forget them.--Chi-
cago Journal
Il can't spare the money very well,
but III gladly loan il to YOU IL you
| promise not to keep 1t too long" Il
solemnly swear that I'll spend every
penny of 1t before tomorrow morn
ing !'-Fliegcnde Batter
Il guess they've caught that wife
murderer" Anything in the papers
about III" No; but saw several
women with big lunches Of flowers
hurrying toward the jail little while
ago. Chicago Record-Herad.
Husband wish l had some of
those good, old-fashioned biscuits like
mother used to make for me- Wife
And I wish / had some of those nice
old-fashioned clothes like father used
! to buy for me.~-Chicago News.
Hicks Your friend Marryat tells
me he's got his wife pretty thorough
: ly trained now WieksYes, he's got
her trained SO that he can make her
do pretty nearly anything she wants to
do.--Catholic Standard ana Times
Young Husband-Wheu my wife be-
gan TO do her own cooking we were
having company every day; tiresofne
relatives, colleagues so-called friends.
Gradually they all dropped Off, and
then we engaged u good cook--Flie-
gendc Batter.
Bronson My wife writes to me ev-
cry few days from the mountains for
more money W0odson--Well, / gave
my wife all the money | had before
she went away, aud now | have to
write to her when l want some
IIarpers Weekly.
"Why, Mary" said her mistress, Il
told you to tidy up my room an hour
ago, ana here II Is III terrible dIsor-
der" YES, mum, and | did" said
Mary, but the master came in TO put
on Il clean collar, mum, and he lost
| the stud. london Taller.
IF you do not take care of your
| money" said the ant to the grasshop-
per. "the world viii simply sneer and
ask you what you did with It." Yes;
! and If | invest 1t and become rich the
world will sheer and ask me where |
got it."-W Washington Star.
Mr.. Justcott- Why, what ere you
crying about, dear2 Mrs. Justcott-
| OH, George The mice have got into
the pantry and eaten up a beautiful
custard pie | made myself! 1Ir. Just
cott-There, there! Don't cry over
few little mice.--Cleyeland Leader.
Hes a great GROWER, Isn't heY
Hurricane IL nothin' to him" Finds
fault with everythingr Worst you
ever saw" "By the by-what is he
doing nowT Editing the Band of
Hope and Sunshine department Of q
new magazine ATLANTA Constitu-
ton.
They were celebrating their engage
ment by dining at swell cafe. DO
you believe" she querled, that man is
really made OF dustT Well" he re-
joined, CHANGING at the dinner check,
he wouldn't be able to travel far in
your company II he wasn't. Chicago
News
"Well, what have you found outw
The private detective hesltated. "Do
you want to know the worstE" ne ask
ed, warulngly. go ahead" MY bin
will be considerable, you know" "Ney-
or mind that. What did you discoY-
l..