davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-10-30
A Heavy Load to Carry.

Along with dyspepsia comes nervous
ness and general ill-health. Why? Be-
cause diSordered stomach does not per-
nit tho food TO be properly digeSted. and
s Its products assimilated by the system.
The blood is charged with poisons which
come from this disordered digestion, and
In turn the nerves are not fed on good,
red blood, and we see symptoms of nefv-
business, sleeplessneSs and general break
down. It is not head work. nor over ply.
sical exertion that does il. but poor stom-
ach work. With poor, thin blood the
body IS not protected against the attack
Of germs Of grip. bronchitis and consump-
tlon. Fortify the body at once with DR..
Piefce's Golden Medical Discovery = a
roots without q particle OF alcohol or
dangerous habit-forming drugs,
A little book of extracts, from promi-
nent medical authorities eYtoiling every
ingredient contained in DR.. Pierce's
Golden Medical Discovery will be mailed
free 10 any address on request by postal
card or letter. Address DR.. II. v. Pierce,
Buffalo, N. Y.
Many years of active practice convinced
DR.. Pierce of the value OF many native
roots as medicinal agents and he went to
great expense, both in time and in money,
TO perfect his own peculiar processes for
rendering them both efficient and safe for
tonic, Alternative and rebuilding agents.
The enormous popularity Of NGolden
Medical Discovery is due both to its
scientific compounding and to the actual
medicinal value of It's ingredients. The
publication OF the Tlumes Of the inqTedt-
eltts on the wrapper of every bottle sold,
gives full assurance of its non-alcoholic
character and removes all objection to
the use of an unknown or secret remedy.
1t is not patent medicine nor q secret
one either, This fact puts it In a class
all BY itself, bearing as 1t does upon every
bottle wrapper The Badge Of Honesty, In
the full list OF its ingredients.
The rGOlden Medical Discovery cures,
weak stomach, Indigestion, or dyspepsia,
torpid liver and biliousness. ulceration OF
stomach and bowleS and all catarrhal af-
fections no matter what parts or organs
may be affected with 1t. DIR. Pierce's
Pleasant Pellets are the original little
liver. pills, first put up 40 years ago. They
regulate and invigorate, stomach, liver
and bowels. Much initiated but never
equaled. Sugar-coated and easy to take
- candy. One to three dose.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-10-30
knotty Problem.

She was a passenger on the
search for information, and as she
was pretty her quest waA not in
vain.
"Captaip," she said, %ow fast
can your steamer go2"
"Well," replied the man with the
ornate cap, "last night we made
about twenty knots an hour"
Twenty knotsP she repeated
blankly. "And what did you do
with them all 2"
The captains face was one of
those pictures that tell a story, but
he answered promptly:
"Threw them overheard"
"0h, fancy that, nowP she said.
"What waste of timel I-thought
you made the poor dear sailors un-
tie all those knots the next dayp
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-10-30
A LIFE OF HUSTLE.
frying to Be Happy In Hurry Is q
Way Americana HaNn.

The strenuous life in America is
not confined to business or mon
y making career. 1t appears in
our pleasures. Americans do not
seem to be able to enjoy themselves
even without hurrying up. At our
pleasure resorts we see men hurry
ing and hustling, as though they
were late for train or right in the
rush of business. We become so
fitted, SO accustomed to the Ameri-
can pace that we cannot slow down
even when we quit work. We do
not seem to know how to do any
thing in a leisureiy way. The same
high pressure that we put into our
business and professions is evident
in our play. We get SO used to
stepping lively" hurrying for an
appointment or for trains, rushing
oDr business, that we cannot go slow
and take things easy when we have
leisure.
Not long ago l was trying to con-
vince a London merchant of the SUI
periority of the American way of
doing things and was telling him
how much more progressive, enter
prising and pushing we are. He
simply smiled and said: "What of
it? We Englishmen do not envy
you. We believe in living, in en-
ioying ourselves as we 60 along. The
lunch counter is not popular in Lon
don. We believe in taking our
time to eat and talk with our
friends and have a good time. What
if Americans do make more money?
They drop down with some disease,
are stricken with apoplexy or die
of paresis right in the prime of life.
We do not call that success. That
is foolishness. They lack that con-
tentment, that poise, which marks
Europeans"
The American youth hurries to
the man, hurries his education, hur-
ries his meals, hurries his work,
hurries everything relating to his
career, hurries his life, and he can
not understand why he cannot hur-
ry his happiness. He arranges his
pleasures by set programme, just
as he does his business, and he runs
his vacatio;T OH business plan. So
cial life, exercise and recreation are
all on strenuous plan, with little
opportunity for rest or reflection
o. S. Marden in Success Magazine.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-10-30
A curiou, stnna cu,to,n.

1t is not generally known that
the last three or four words Of q
new dramatic production are never
spoken during the period Of the re-
hearsal of the piece. Most frequent
ly they are never written by tho
author.
The superstition Of the theatrical
world is that it would be certain to
bring bad luck to the piece II the
last words were pronounced on the
stage before the first night. But as
the play must have an end, and it
should be known to all present that
it is at an end, the actor or actress
intrusted with the last lines usually
interpolates a word or two. For in
stance, the actor would say, 'My
dear girl, my dear boy, kneel before
me, that j may forgive you and
bless you with-a farthing cake. -
London Globe.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-10-30
A d;st;n1,isbed lavve- ofT,A.,

A distinguished lawyer of Indiana
when struggling young attorney
had client whose mental sound
ness was questioned. There was a
lunsey inquiry, and the client was
ediudged insane. The squire asked
the lawyer:
'Do you wish to appeal this case
which has been decided by q Jury Of
your clients peers%
NO" replied the young lawyer.
NSince your honor says that the
juFymen are his peers, think We
viii Let 1t go ct that. New York
Sun.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-10-30
Aar Ambition.

This incident was told by an ae
tress who was once playing Rosa.
lind. and playing it. as she fancied,
rather acceptably. AS she entered her
dressing room at the theater one night
note from n woman was handed to
her which read In this wise:
"Dere lady work for dentist but
have spoiled so many of his teeth
saying over your part in the play tina:
now l can say 1t Just as well US you
do. and want you to let me try II
tonight and see If l can't for the den.
list says he cannot have me any mort
and must pay for his teeth. and so |
must go on the stage and will be
here at O'clock"
The exchange was not male
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-10-30
MEANING OF MUSIC.
wha. l. Can and What It Cannot sss
to You.

What II Can and What Il Cannot SE1
to You.
Music is called the universal Ian
guage, and yet when you are strug-
Cling to understand what a COM
poser is trying to say always remem-
Der that he is speaking a primitive
language that frames vaguely q sem
timent or a mood or a tangled fab
ric of sentiments and moods.
4The best definition I ever heard
of music" says Rupert Hughes in!
the Delineator, "is that Of Taine,
Music is cry, and, to my thinking
at least, the best music is that in
which to the largest degree each
note represents an outcry. But then
cry may mean SO much or 60 lit
tlel
"The spirit of brooding music
may be found in the story Of Robert
Schumann and his cherished friend,
Frau Voigt. One summer evening
ne took her out in a rowboat, ship
ped the oars and sat for an hour in
complete silence. When they land
ed again Schumann pressed her
hand in farewell and said:
"'We have understood each 9TH
er perfectly
"There is the message of contem-
platiye music in a nutshell. We
have understood without words, and
with words we could not explain.
"Music cannot even hint at q glo-
rious contour OF a ripple of music
which sculpture can make immortal,
nor suggest the color Of q land
scape or a woman's eyes, which
painting can give to posterity, nor
spin out skeins of thoughts we'll
chosen and deftly arranged as
poetry and prose are wont to do. It
cannot with a gesture grip your
heart or with grimace make you
laugh as drama can. 1t cannot mar
rate romance nor indulge in the
WITNESSES of an essay, the patriotic
fire of an oration, the fact mosaics
of a history, the massive fights Of
architecture.
"Music is eternally debarred from
even attempting any of these fields.
And yet one finds compensation in
being allowed to nestle little closer
to the heart of things in themselves
and emotions as emotions than any
other of the muses. that make the
world worth while"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-10-30
In shakespeara,s rime.

The big yellow moon climbed
above the trees.
"Be careful, Romeo" cautioned
the fair Juliet. "1f.papa hears you.
there will be trouble"
"But what objection has he to
me% said Romeo, somewhat piqued.
Didn't you tell him l move in the
best society?"
Eyes. dear, but he insists that
YOU are only a climber"
And then and there Romeo decid-
ed to cut out the balcony scene and
make love out on the lawn.-Chica-
go News.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-10-30
Valiant Indeed.

During an invasion panic which
spread through England when some
French colonels addressed their en-
peror, Napoleon III, in very fiery
terms certain Yorkshire colonel
of volunteers distinguished himself
by the following utteranee at To-
cal banquet, Gentlemen, on behalf
Of my comrades 1 can assure you
that if Napoleon's colonies should
land at Spurn the First East York
rifles will not be the last to hee," a
declaration that remained as a joke
against the regiment for many
Year,.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-10-30
Mari.

Mars possesses about one-half
the earth's diameter and one-sev-
enth Its volume. 1t Is some 14o,-
900, 900 miles from the sun and con-
sequentiy at mean distance of
nearly 56,0Oo,oOO miles from us. 1t
receives less than one-half the sun
light and heat a square foot that
we do, has an atmosphere less dense
than ours and possesses water and
ice. The planet exhibits two ice
caps at its poles and orange and
greenish tints between these poles.
Those peculiar lines or markings,
the Canals" concerning which
there has arisen much discussion,
form a sort of faint, inexplicable
network over the surface OF ruddy
Mars,
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-10-30
TramMaYe.

The word tram is derived from a
mans name, Outram-Thomas ou-
tram. 0utram lived in Derbyshire,
England, and in the beginning Of
the last century he invented pc
culiar sort of track that diminished
the friction between wheels and
roadbeds. These tracks of 0utram's,
though nothing like a trolley track,
we're called at first outramways,
then tramways, and when street
lines and street cars came into ex-
istence they were dubbed respective
" tramways and trans.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-10-30
Tho 4I'sp and "Ys."

BY a rule of our accidence Y is
changed to whenever es or ed is
added to word ending in y after
consonant, but no change is made
when OF ed is added to a word
ending in J after a vowel. Famil-
lar examples, besides money, are
bay key, toy, buy, alley, attor-
ney, chimney, donkey, journey, kid
ney, pulley, valley. Nothing can be
said against the change of y to i,
seeing that in earlier times there
was scarcely any distinction between
the two vowels, but there is some
thing monstrous in the thought of
changing the combinations ey into
lie when we would add 8, and into
when we would add ed. "Monies"
and "honied" are, in these days,
oddities reconcilable, like "donkies, "
''monkies," ETC., only with igno-
rance.-London Notes and Queries.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-10-30
SCOTCH AUMOR.
ENnmplsS That Seem to Provo Thst
Sydney Smith Was Mistaken.

eIanptoo Ihat seem 70 ProVo Ih9e
sydney Smith Was Mistaken.
Max o'RelI, who as humorist
was an expert and as a Frenchman
was impartial, said to Mr.. Harry
Futniss that he found a hundred
times more humor among the
Scotch than among the English.
Yet Sydney Smith said of Scotch
impenetrability to humor that at
takes a surgical operation to get a
joke into q Scotch SKULL" and,
again; that "there is humor in a
Scotch skull, but the only imple-
ment By which you can extract it is
IA eorkscreww Mrs. Sellar's "Rec-
elections and Impressions" strong
ly supports Max 0'RelPs as against
Sydney Smiths estimate of her
countrymen's sense of humor.
When. says Mrs. Sellar, clerical
deputation waited on the witty
Scotch Judge, Lord Young, he ask
ed them: ''To what religious body
dc You belong2 The Free church 2"
well, no, not exactly" they replied
hesitatingly. "Oh, u. P.'s,' them"
THAT they answered hesitatingly,
"vas nearer the mark. But there
are some points on which We diverge
from the u. P.'s.'" "Oh, we'll"
cried Lord Young impatiently, a
shall write you down as split peas"
When q millionaire, who was not
precisely an exemplary Christian,
handed over during his life $780,
900 to the Church of Scotland Lord
Young described the deodand as
@the heaviest insurance against fire
/ ever heard Of"
When Mrs. Sellar was dining one
day at Lord Youngs table this witty
judge whispered to her, apropos
delay ia handing around the soup,
40 Lord, make haste to help usp
would. be- an appropriate grace"
This reminds me OF the grace which
Compton, q member of the famous
old Haymarket company, STAN
nIered out when Unexpectedly called
upon to task blessing" The only
appropriate passage he could recall
in his confusion was another of the
proper book suffrages, 40 Lord.
open thou our lips, and our mouths
shall show forth thy praise" The
wife of Limerick canon, who was
used TO saying the litany daily in
that cathedral, assured me in his
prosence-and he did not deny the
profane impeaehment-that when
Unexpectedly called upon after a
table d'hote dinner at Llandudno to
return thanks he stammered out,
From what we have received, good
Lord, deliver usp' Then we all re-
member Elias delightful remihis-
eence "of that equivocal wag (but
my pleasant schoolfellow), C. V. G.,
Who. when importuned for a grace,
inquired, after first slyly leering
down the table, as there no clergy
man herei" significantly adding,
"Thank God"-T. P. O'Connor.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-10-30

The teacher of Sunday school
class in Wilkesbarre once put the
following question to a new scholar
"What did Moses do for a living
while he was with Jethrop"
There was long silence, during
which the other members of the
class took occasion to "Eize up" the
newcomer. The latter, however,
was undismsyed. After due reAec-
ton he answered:
@Plesse, ma'am, he married one
II JethIo's daughters"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-10-30
MAGICAL CURES.
IdOio Of the orien. That Are Appealed
70 In Case Of sieknsss.

10 In Case OF Sickness.
OF magical methods used to cure
disease writer in the Scientific
American says: Powerful aid is be-
lieved to be rendered by the various
gods and goddesses in China, India,
Java, Korea and other countries in
exercising disease. The Hindoo
goddess who had experimenting
power over smallpox, for example,
was approached with solemn cere-
monies and presents to propitiate
her. She was represented as stand
ing with two uplifted fingers,
threatening to strike on the right
and left. Before her was band of
the executors of her vengeance, two
of them with red grinning masks,
black shields and naked scimiters.
White lines, like rays, issued from
the bodies Of the others to indicate
infection. On the right was a group
of men with spotted bodies afflicted
with the malady. Bells were hung
at their cinctuEes, and few of them
waved black feathers. These were
preceded by musicians with drums,
who supplicated the pity of the fu-
rious deity.
"From behind her advanced a
bevy Of smiling young women,
gracefully carrying on their heads
baskets with Thanksgiving offerings,
in gratitude for their lives and beau
ty having been spared. A little boy
with bell at his girdle conveyed
something emblematic of inocula-
ton from the arm of the goddess.
By such means and humble inter-
cession the benign goddess grad
ually stayed her fury, and the dis
eased were thus made whole or were
at least supposed to be cured, which
appears to have answered just as
well. In Java some idols .re provid-
ed with bells for calling the atten-
ton of the god and goddess to the
need of their exercising sacred pow
ers in behalf of the sick and unfor-
tunate.
"Akin to this blind faith is the
credulity Of some classes Of Japa-
nese, whose doctors know very little
more Of anatomy and physiology
| than the patients themselves, and
for purposes of diagnosis they rely
mainly on the pulse. Three pulses
are found to be in each wrist, they
explain-viz, the heart, controlling
the right upper pulse; the lungs,
the left upper pulse; the stomach,
the right middle pulse; the liver,
the left middle pulse; the right kid
ney, the right lower pulse, and the
left kidney, the left lower pulse,
Thus by careful examination OF
the six pulses the doctor at once
discovers what is the matter with
the patient and proceeds in his own
way to effect a cure.
Tn Korea and among the North
American Indians images are made
out of various materials, each kind
having peculiar power over some
special form of disease. Thus the
Zuni Indian makes clay image to
represent a mountain lion, and the
spirit of that animal, which is the
guardian of the northwest and the
master of the gods of the hunt
comes to dwell in that object, pro.
teeting the owner from injury by
accident and helping him to success
in the chase. A Korean sorcerer'E
image, stuffed and covered with
buckskin, is used to avert calamity
and DEATH"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-10-30
Knew How 1t Would Be.

The simplicity of children IS
sometimes hard to fathom. In the
following case, for instance, report
ed by an exchange was the boys In
nocence real or affected? He had
brought home his monthly school
report, which made a poor showing.
"This is very unsatisfactory" said
his father as he looked it over. II
am not at all pleased with it"
81 knew you wouldn't be-" an
iwered the little boy. 81 told the
teacher SO, but she said she couldn't
change it,
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-10-30
Lnrd pIunk.Hn Bad Cook.

In chapter on verbal infelicities
the author of Collections and Rec
elections" relates an anecdote con-
cerning Archbishop Trench, q man
of singularly vague and dreamy hab-
its, who resigned the see of Dublin
on account Of advancing years and
settled in London.
He went some time after to pay
4 visit to his successor, Lord Plum
ket. Finding himself back again in
his old palace, sitting at his old din
ner table and gazing across it at his
old wife, he lapsed in memory to
the days when he was master of the
house and gently remarked to Mrs.
Trench:
'1 am afraid, my love, that we
must put this cook down among our
failures"
What the feelings of Lord and
Lady Plunket were on hearing this
comment history does not relate.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-10-30
The rsmiIy Eniay.d n roa.

When the minister, who was a
bachelorj had been helped to Mrs.
Porter's biscuits for the third time
he looked across the table at Rhoda,
staring at him with round, wonder
ing eyes.
a don't often have such q good
supper as this, my DEAR" he said IN
his most propitiatory tome, and
Rhoda's face dimpled.
we don't always" she said in
her clear little voice. 'T'm awful
glad you came. Youths Compan-
ion. ~ ~
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-10-30
ereatest Volcanic Rrrption.

The greatest volcanic eruption Of
all history was the eruption Of
Krakatoa, in the strait Of Sunda,
between Java and Sumatra, in 1883.
1t caused a cloud seventeen miles
high. 1t was heard 5000 miles
away. If it had taken place in Lon
don, it could have been heard in
New York, constantinople, ST. Pc
tersburg, Cairo, Egypt, and Green
land. The velocity Of the explosion
was three times that Of an Arm
strong gun. 1t raised tidal waves
100 feet high that rolled up on the
land for miles. 1t created dust finer
than any rock can be ground by
man. This dust was carried around
the earth for three years in the air.
1t caused air waves that encircled
the earth several times. It broke
windows more than 100 miles dis
tant.-New York American.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-10-30
If Women couIdn,t Read.

"Then you don't believe In higher
education for women?'
Certainly not. think it's a shame
to even teach 'em how to read. II a
woman couldn't read the bargain a.
vertisements, she wouldn't be SO IN
happy over the lots Of things she can,
aiiaEd 70 hnHn
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-10-30
What We Really Need.

Each of us In our own small oreau-
Ism possesses germ or whatever you
Ike to call It which, properly deyeiop-
cd, should eventually lead US to the
realization of all our ambitions. An
that is wanted are energy and coneon-
tration--London Ladiey Field.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-10-30
Plenty Of Pr,eti,.

T met your friend Dudley today.s
"YesP / haven't seen him for a lone
time l suppose be shutters az badly aS
"oh. no! He's quite an adept at n
noN"-PhiladelDna PTs1A
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-10-30

The man who CANDLES is a deIuded
fool but the man who gambIes whel
he continues to lose is q colossal fool
nHnr' Snintiu
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-10-30

Jones-I understand there is trouble
between Mrs. Poet and her husband
Smith = Yes. Ht couldn't sell hi
poems, and she couldn't eat them. SO
she left him.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-10-30
putifuI Son.

The MacTavish family were en-
joying their Sabbath dinner after
their five mile tramp home from
the kirk, and they eagerly watched
Mr.. MacTavish carving the fowl,
none SO eagerly, however, as the
dog, for that intelligent animal new
er took its eyes off the luscious bird.
The dissection was proceeding
apace when suddenly the knife of
the carver slipped and sent a frag-
ment of poultry rolling on the floor.
MIGHTY me" cried MacTavish.
"The leg! Ma an fayorite bitl
The dog'l get It'll"
"Naw, father" said the young
IT oftshoot of the clan MacTavish;
"lle'll no get it. Pve putten ma
foot upon'tp-Dundee Advertiser.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-10-30
What Restrained Him.

A stranger in small town want
I'D the advice of q lawyer and as he
was hunting for one one day he
came upon a sign which read, "a.
Swindle, Attorney at Law"
He entered the Office and after
receiving the necessary advice said
that the lawyer was fine man,
BIT he wanted to know Why he
made his name sound SO ridiculous
and why he did not put his first
nae in full.
I WOULD" replied the lawyer,
la hing, 'H my first name were
~. Adam" Magazine Of Fun.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-10-30
law Term Exnlained.

''well. proceed" said the lawyer
''The plaintiff resorted TO an ingen-
lous use of circumstuntial evidence" I"
said the witness.
For the benefit Of the jury state in
palmer language exactly what you
mean by that" interrupted the judge.
"WeIl. my meaning is that he lied"