The Washington herald., 1907-09-22

tut 'tEould take more than print To say what
think
o; the folks in the fiat above me-
It's fully dozen years since my Aunt
Maria first began to talk about going
abroad" said the bachelor girl, 'and in
al that time she's been arguing steadily
with her conscience. SHE'S as patriotic
a woman as ever breathed. but she's a
woman. and she COUNT settle with her
self how she was ever going to be happy
If she had 10 pay duty on the things
she might buy in Europe. and she knew
That if she Struggled anything in she'd
feel wicked all the rest Of her life. Last
winter she finally went to Paris. and
when She wrote me that she'd bought a
red hat I knew that her conscience had
got the worst of it. She was very eau
tious IN her letters 20 me, but I knew
from her dark. hints and the red hat that
Aunt Maria had determined to resolve
herself into a regular desperate and
smuggle went over 10 New York last
week to meet her. and 10 keep her from
being imprisoned for life if I could I
ihad a feeling that all the inspectors had
been warned 20 look out for Aunt Maria
They had the look as they lined up on
the pier. Aunt Maria came down the
gang plank looking as guilty as If she'd
broken into the captains cabin. When
she saw me she looked all around 10 see
that We We're not observed. for all the
world like a villain In meludrama. Tm
not sure she didn't say Hist She en-
braced me and I felt one hand slide
steaIthilv into the pocket OF my coat
I realized then that she was making me
her accOmplcc. took the coat of and
held it over my arm So that nobody
would notice the package in the pocket
fel- sure il was pearl necklace at
least. After that she fairly dared the in
spector 10 come ON and find anything
undeclared in her trunks. She insisted
on dragging everything OUT. and she paid
duty on things that never would have
been noticed. After we got off the pier
and into the cab she did her melodrama
look around again. and told me 10 open
the package
I evaded them. she said I was de-
termined 10 smuggle in something. and
knew I could do il if I tried. They
never dreamed of it,
Il opened the package. Aunt Maria
had struggled in a whole collection of
European postage stamps. Nobody in
our family ever collected stamps. so I
don't know how much the government
lost by Aunt Maria's desperate deed.
but every time she walks past the Treas
uTy she cocks her eve az it and mods
mysteriously- The Treasury Depart
ment wasn't clever enough 10 catch
Aunt Maria. and it has sunk In her es-
timation in consequence
! don't Ike 10 say anything against
Westerners. They are charming on their
native heaths. but when they come here
direct from those same heaths they are
well, they are not impressionabIe. 10
put il mildly. Not long ago I-h1d in tow
girl from Denver, whose second cousin
married a very dear friend Of a school.
chum Of mine, which facts led 10 a letter
OF Introduction. And / fulfilled the inn
piled promise Of that letter OF introduc-
tion. as Washingtonians do. I took her
TO see everything in town. and we ended
with a trip up the Monument NY feet
chung TO the floor. and I stood so Ia
weigh as little as possible I went as
near the window as ! dared, and showed
her the city. lying mashed and fat be-
low. She gave it casual glance.
Isn't it Marvellous I said.
1T is interesting" she confessed. but
after the view from Pixies Peak don't
you think its rather tame?'
Now that Richard Mansfield is gone.
there's nobody you meet who hasn't an
anecdote Of him. Time was when folk
spoke Of his quick temper, and were sorry
now that we blamed him for it, Il was
not for US 10 know that there was trouble
with his liver, and even if we had known
st, not one Of US IN ten would have re-
allied that the fact makes for iraScibHity
as Inevitably as tuberculosis makes for
cheerfuIness. Il was the fashion 10 say
Mansfield was hard 10 please. Everybody
believed it. There was once a hotel
Keeper in "a city not far away who tried
10 take advantage Of IT, Mr. Mansfield
staying at this hotel called for certain
brand Of Rhine wine. and when told that
Il was not in the house. he expressed his
opinion OF the place sharply and left. A
year later he came again, and demanded
the same kind Of wine The landlord
was ready for him. The wine was on
hand, and Mr. Mansfield was charged ex-
brilliantly for IT, After his bill had been
sent TO his room. word was returned that
the actor wanted TO see the landlord
The landlord went up, primed and ready
70 answer the actors protests. The wine
had cost money and trouble. and the
year-old criticism Of his house stiH
ranked. He had words to say. He
raped on the door and was hidden to
Bnter Mr.. Mansfield stopped his nervous
pacing of the floor and spoke
"You are the landlord" he demanded.
The landlord nodded. saving his words
Tor the trouble he foresaw.
"Oh said Mr.. Mansfield. Il wanted TO
thank you most heartily for the treat
ment you have given me. The wine was
excellent"
An actor in one Of the companies which
played here recently tells OF time when
he was assistant property man in Mr..
Mansfeld's company. At rehearsal the
lighting effects We're tried on "a throne
The assistant property man occupied il in
order 10 supply the necessary human fig
ure. and it may be that he struck an
attitude
Turn of that calcium ordered Mr..
Mansfield. Turn it off quick. before that
man gets the idea that he IS an actor,"