The Washington herald., 1907-12-16
strawberries and Some Other Things.

That modest and shrinking journal. the
Houston Post, deviating from its usual
attitude of shy and unassuming retire
ment throws several ecstatc editorial fits
because of the report of the arrival OF a
crate Of new strawberries at Alvin, a
town which. Of course, is referred 70 as
zone Of Houston's most beautiful sub
urbs." Notwithstanding the twenty-five
or thirty muddy miles that separate the
two villages. Here is a stanza from one
Of the aforesaid spasms:
I'VE had hoped that these glorious strawberries
would not come upon the market until the iccles
in Marvellous Manhattan and Wonderful Washington
were at least foot long. and until Atlanta. Nash
Vile Richmond. Chattanooga. Louisville Terre
Haute. and Peoria were at least shiyering in
wintry gale; but the sanity soil Of Texas cannot
wait and here are on the first day Of Deem
Der WITH beautiful Houston strawberries as luscious
the lips Of a dimpled and red-headed widow. It
means that by Christmas all Texans will be able to
enjoy their strawberries at the rate OF 10 cents
quart. and that our list Of uxuries will be further
heightened by Corpus Christi roasting ears. fresh
tomatoes. and other deHcacies such as are never
found elsewhere this side Of June"
Yes; we know all about those straw
berries. They may be dimpled and lus-
ciOus and red headed when they first ap-
pear in Texas-if we have applied to them
adjectives belonging TO some other of the
States products, we beg 20 be corrected
and so may the Washington Monument
be resting on its apex. instead OF its base.
when this thriee-blessed city awakes
this morning. The one circumstance
fe rssgfa ,Hot
same crate of strawberries will be on
the Washington market soon. at a cost 70
the retailer of about $4.75 per dozen ber-
rles. as against the invariable rate Of
10 cents per bushel in Texas, with a few
gallons OF Jersey cream as lagniappe
But. oddly enough. the fruit will have un-
dergone a remarkable transformation en-
route from the point Of origin. The proc
esses of nature will have been reversed.
Instead Of being more freckled and
plumper and juicier than when they start
ed. the berries. on their arrival. will be Of
the size of French peas. besides being
fully as green and infinitely harder than
that delicacy. which even the truck
drivers in Washington enjoy three times
daily. Some one of the few vulgar rich
we have here will buy them, merely for
the purpose Of making a display Of cash;
but. naturally, NO one will attempt to eat
them. especially If any of those delicious
prunes for which the Capital is famous
are to be had. After finding himself un-
able to dispose Of them otherwise. the rich
mans chef will give them to some small
boy, and the small boy will use them as
bullets In his air rifle.
or course, however, il is to be said in ex-
tenuation of the Houston papers i'm
aginative flight that It is only performing
the pathetic and necessary duty of reviv-
ing the spirits of Texans, which droop even
more than usual as the northers shrek
across the State. chilling and freezing
the thin, lily nourished blood Of the in
habitants. To a lusty, healthy, prune-
fed Washingtonan, a Texas norther
would seem as the warm chinook Of the
upper Pacific Coast: but to those
anaemic ones who dwell on its native
heath ii is a bowling devil. to be both
feared and hated. AS the Post says. De-
cembers as pleasant as May down there.
The problem is to figure out how. only
about 1,s00 miles from the District OF
Columbia two months Of the year can
be SO unpleasant, 10 say nothing OF the
other ten, which are worse II a nUrther
isn't wailing on its way to the Gulf. per-
sistent rains are soaking everything ex-