Evening journal., 1907-07-16
Personal and Pertinent

Mark was telling stories, strangely enough and some
young gentlemen-Perkins let call him-after the
he always began with that mock k-modest preface
must have heard this before, Mr. Clemens" repeated
the phrase at intervals through his so-ealed story Fin
ally Mark is said TO have said this:
Perkins, that's no way TO tell story. One night
old trick that have PeriSns'You must have heard
this story before-or You certainly this He
began story this way, and said politely No, Mr.
ing, l haven't though I didn't know, course, what
his story was about After he had used this miserable
phrase three times, said TO him. Irving, 1 born
ana raised IN Missouri, where truth is at discount
and courtesy is above par. When friend begins a
story as you do with You must have heard this
tesy prevails and we say no no matter what the truth
may be- and second time we say no, but when it
comes, like now, TO the third time, truth itself
Yes Irving I've heard your old chestnut many, many
umesi l invented it, "-Harpers Weekly.
This looking glass;" said the clerk the
tain, was put TO a new use this morning. have got
used to seeing people stand here primp keep
ing an engagement but 1t really did give something
a kind Of dressmaSing establishment A wearing
a blue voe dress and carrying paper of pins
duced the custom says the New York sun.
I just want TO see, she said If my skirt is even
around the bottom have no long glass in my room
and l can't get my dress turned around the
here for minute?
didn't matter apparently whether / minded or not
in OF the glass She discovered places that
either hitched up or sagged inch So whereupon
she calmly put that paper Of pins into commission and
proceeded to- reetify the length OF that skirt"
Henry James, the novelist arrived at 10 o'clock one
night at Florida hotel and could get nothing
The hotel magnificent expensive rule
to food after certain hour and in consequence
Mr.. James went hungry bed.
Discussing the hardship afterward. he said;
II felt indeed. like the tenderfoot who visited Ar
kansas hotel back in the '70s.
1t primitive hotel and the guest his arrival,
said 10 the landlord tentatively:
Landlord. I'd like a bath
All right, the reply
And the landlord went out returning In ten minutes
nf f,fal aaIa aIa.s
"The Eastern took up the OF soft soap and
the towel but the pick and shovel he looked askance
"'What these for? he said.
"'Wa, stranger. said the landlord, the waters low,
an ven hev to dam the creek Washington Star.
A certain womens club had a full meeting and an inn
portan discussion In the midst of il
and asked the privilege OF the floor for a
granted, and the interrupter a strained
with emotion, said rs there Christian Scientist pres
arrayed with laborous magnincence arose
the other side Of the room. and, in stately Of
the intervening space the first womans sweet
voice said Would you mind changing with me d?
1 sitting in draft'-Belman.
the absence his wife illness OF the SER
want Mr.. Taylor undertook TO help S-yearold Marory
TO dress
had succeeded in getting arms in the sleeves
and through the armhoes Of her and had
toned her into them. Then he told TO put on her
shoes herself and he would button them.
He soon discovered that she vainly striving to
put left shoe on her right foot
why. Mariory." he said impatiently don't you know
better than that2 You putting your shoes on
the wrong feet"
sss al de foots dOs pa5s." replied Marory tear
fuly.-Souths Companion