The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-04-07
len hang rldiculously beneath our

tNeu udIl6 4gI4ulCQtOu SAy .ssUc1AeolA 5ou1
chins.
Oh, the painful mutability OF trous-
er-patterns and the shocking tickle
ness OF masculine coattails. to. say
nothing lof the whirnsicaltles Of low
and high-cut vests.
When I gaze within the embossed
crimson covers Of the gorgeous photo
graph album (pr!ze $1.9S), which Is
the prlde of our back parlor, feeling
Of shame-almost OF remOrse--comes
over me. Therein see myself as 9TH
crs used to see me-a garish jackdaW
prcening myself In peacock's feathers.
and to all appearances ns self COM
placent as tOmcat heavy with tho
contents Of q bowl of cream.
However could have fancied that
the world admired me in such a cos
tune, I ask myself in dsep humilia-
ton: and then T am amazed to dis
cover what a g!raffo-like neck I es-
snyed to hide in q turn-down collar.
Tho result is that I resolve to rectify
the mistakes of my past life by hay
Ing another picture taken-this time
in the up-to-date frock coat Wore
at tho banquet given In honor Of
President Roosevelt.
n But even this won't run the gauntlet
OF the corrodng tooth of time Next
year the coat. In all its presen t. day
grandeur,, will loom up from the card
| board q mass OF contortcd wrinkles
hurled slap-dash at human hatrack,
while my sepulchral countenance win
peer out gauntly from a collar that
| nts my neck like a el-hoop. BY
J 1915. when I have the courage to gaze
| again on the photograph, l and all
|tthose who love me Will wonder how
II got to that banquet In that coat
| without police interference.
But, gentle reader you should re-
member that though this chronicles
I, tactfully discusses his subject In the
! first person singular, his remarks np-
I5plys equally to you. If he, In 1916, shows
! up like "a, badly draped hatrnck in the
"Prince Albert" worn at the Roosevelt
ian festivities, your photograph, de-
ii that occasion, Will represent you q
stuffed frog OVERLOOKING YOU
l,abiliments There are always other!
in the photograph album. for encl
snlckM page Of the family treasure
i has its own freak. All may not lool
least, will look hideous one way Q
the other, The volume is nothing !
not chamber Of sartorial horrors
4 showing masculine folly-let us no
say vanity--in all Its phases,
aiY Now and thon, some all-wlse male
" who has been toucneu ny tno peAAoW
ing stultltude revealed in photograph
seeks to evade the danger by merrill
; Ithavlng himself lmmortalized"in TN
type. Hrre wo have the very qu1nt
essenco OF uproarous aslnlnity-nan
: kind braying out his folly. For doe
! not such an idiot. at such q time. I'M
! aglne for tho moment that he Is cute
], ana that ali obvious defects In the tir
type Will BIO construed by the generol
public to be mechanical defects.
! all fools Imaginable, tho fooleBt to-
e is the creature stamped on tir
4 type, ana coyly smiling out, with al
: sumcd nonchalance at q world white
doesn't regard him as tho least p
: funny.
4 But tho strangest thing OF all nbol
i photographs Is that they arc the opt
9 cal offspring Of dagnerrotypes, Whle
& somehow have q most fascinating we
OF m-powhiting man--that Is,
. giving him touch or the patrtcian.
y Daguervotypes arc to photograph
j 4 = r. d . y 7 .