Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-09-14
MR.. JOBs0N ON RATS"

trolling post No. l on the watch-tower of
the citadel all the time.
And so, when Mrs Jobson bought for
herself a rat" the other day. she care
lessly left it the sitting room table
while she went below to see how the din
ner preparations were getting along
Equally, Of course. the rat was the
very first thing that Mr.. Jobson saw when
he came home from the office that after
noon.
What's this?" he inquired. poking at
the rat" with the end of his folded news
! paper.
Why" said Mrs. Jobson. momentarily
confused. Its a-er-its for the-er-
hair"
For the hair?" asked Mr. Jobson
Whose hair? That Chink laundryman's
around the corner?"
'Why-er-no-for my hair" timidly
! replied Mrs. Jobson. It's rat you
know
'Oh. rat hey:" said Mr.. Jobson. Il
thought it had something to do with a
Chinaman-looks like it had been ripped
from the scalp of dead Chinaman
What's it made of--seaweed? Looks like
a bunch o that gummy seaweed that's cast
up on the bathing beach at the seashore.
along with hunks Of watermelon rind
and paSSe cabbageS and things What
| dye do with it, Anyhow
why. put 1t underneath the real hair.
of course. as to give the hair that full
! appearance" said Mrs. Joison.
sro oh That nat 1 fdi wi 5 hsy
| think 1t would give You that full appear
! ance all right enough. / should think that
any woman would have to be more than
three-par,s full before she'd be luny
| enough to put such IL thing on herself
| Dive n tell that World stick that
| woo!y-lCoking half-circle of gumry jute
| right in among your own tresses. and
| ooh. everybody does that now, you
| know" put in Mrs. Jobson. meaning to be
| soothing. It's all the rage. and
"All the rage. hey?" broke in Mr.. Job
| son. warming up as the openings presented
| themselves. We'll. 1t can easily be all the
| rage. The woman that 'ud do a think like
| that to herself has got to be in state Of
| rage that presages her early bestowal In
| the wagon ti:at backs UP to the curb to
| carry her to the BOBBY hatch. What's the
matter with your own hair? Haven't you
got enough hair? Or is it dropping out.
| and. if so. why, and if you're getting bald
why haven't you mentioned it to me before.
| or. if you see that you're losing all of your
| own hemp, why the dickens don't you go
| and buy yourself red green or blue OF
| cinnamon colored wig. and be done with
! t. instead of stutfing that groundwork for
| a mess of Chinese bird's-nest soup in
| your"
| '.oh. but won't wear it all the time;
put in Mrs Jobson, appeasingly. I'm only
wear it when I am gong out and want to
| look particularly nice. and
| oh. you will. hey%' inquired Mr.. Johson.
! And sposa you think you'll wear It when
| you go out with me. don't you? Well. I'll
! tell you when you'll wear that four pound
wsp of excelsior. Mrs. Jobson. You'll wear
/ it in Never Never Land. when you
get there when that land gets here. and
| only then and there. But you won't wear
| it while I'm the foreman around these
works. 1t seems to me that 1t ought to
! occur to you that you're getting to age
when that sort of Junk ought to he canned
| and left to the hufTy-wuffy pir-heads OF
! younger women that are com ng along.
| You were moro than twenty-five years of
| age your last birthday you know. and If
| you"
But. my dear" mildly expostulated Mrs
| Jobson. women wear rats till they are
| ready to die. and
We'll. you'll be ready to die before you'll
| wear that one. can tell you that" growled
! Mr.. Jobson. II took you with the hair
| you've got, and there wasn't anything IN
! the contract requiring me to stand for a
| woman that wants to go vamping up and
| down the streets with lump of the leav-
| ings of a hair mattress on her head First
| thing | know you'll be nudging along and
| demanding to have, your front teeth filled
| with diamonds. because some female clip
| connected with advanced vaudeville has
| started that gag. Now. I'm a pretty pa
| tient kind of a soft marx and l stand for a
| nSap. / 0ON MAKE any Toaf--NuCn as L
may be cogitatng on the sida-wh IN you
| spraddie -four all over your face and pencil
t your eyebrows and ell like that-a woman
of your age, too-but when you come breez-
| ing along with a sem-circle of felt shay
| ings and tell M that you're going to
/ plaster it on the top OF your head and then
| drape your sure-enough hair round it..
why
| "Oh. we'll, then. l won't wear it, put in
Mrs. Jobson knowing perfectly well that
| she would wear 1t all right, and with that
! they went down to dinnsr.
| How did Mrs. Jobson know that she
would wear it. and not only that. but that
| she would get away with it?" Because
| for one thing. she knew Mr.. Jobson, and
| for another she had little scheme.
So while MIR. Jobson was lo!ling over his
! dinner coffee. Mrs. Jobson slipped upsta rs
! and telephoned to Mrs. Enstreet to drop in
| on her way to the theater Mrs. Jobson
| knew that Mrs. Enstreet was going to the
theater that night and that she'd be ali
| fixed UP for 1t.
! Mrs. En3treet, who is older than Mrs
| Johson, zephyred in about half-past seven.
| looking up to the mines and beyond. Mrs
| Enstreet Is one of the very few friends Of
| Mrs. JobsOn whom Mr.. Jobson likes.
| Mrs. Enstreet wasn't wearing any hat.
| and her hair looked something splendi Ter
| Gus. There seemed to be an immense lot
o. it. and it was most tastefuliy done up
| with three four little artificial curls
| sticking out of the top and one at the side
and the glossy. natural black hair, slightly
mixed with a few fascinating strands of
gray. beautifully dressed over the rat"
Mrs. Enstreet paid the Jobsons a short
| cheerful. "just-ran-in" visit, and as soon
| as she'd gone Mr.. Jobson tackled Mrs. job
son.
Say. look here" he said to her, dye
know Susie Enstreet's DANCED fnelcoking
| woman. and yet she's older than you are
she's as old as 1 am. in fact, Tor she was
in the same school grade with me. What's
that way She fixes her hair? 1t wonder
you wouldn't smoke up and start some
thing and try to look like somebody. But
you've got ambition. You just slump
around and let these women that are way
ahead of you in years put 1t on you. How
does she get her hair to look like that, any
how"
oh" said Mrs. Jobson. carelessly. "she
wears rat you know.
oh. she does, does she?" said Mr.. job
son, forgetfully. Then why the dickens
don't you wear one, if it looks good as
all that?'
II thought" said Mrs. Jobson, from
what you said, that"
You needn't try to toss my words back
al me like that. madam" said Mr.. Jobson,
suddenly remembering. II guess I've got
a license to change my. mind once in
thousand years. 1 don't care what the
deuce you do. and you know it, so long as
you try to look like somebody. IN not 60
In to LOT Won drag me mi old Tn, a.