Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-05-25

There are times when words fail a
man-but IL he has wife 1t doesn't
matter much.--Chicago Daily News.
The way to get rich is to lay up part
of your own income and as much as
possible OF other people
Journal
Jennie--Did you hear of the awful
fright Jack got on his wedding day?
Olive-Yes, indeed was there and
saw her.-Tit- Bits
Frightened Actor-2The leading lady
Is tearing her hair! Stage Manager
Well, what OF III 1t isn't her hair.
Detroit Free Press
Mrs. Browne--Mrs. Wythe says she
thinks that 1t is wrong to play whist.
Mrs. black-lt ls, the way she plays 1t.
-Somerville Journal
You have no sense OF humor." he
complained. You can't take a joke"
Il took one when ! got you" she bit
terly replled.-Chlcago Record Herald.
Tom Mamma, let's move Mamma
What for, dear Tom--Oh. I've licked
every kid In the block, an there's no
more fun here. Chicago Daily News.
Girl (to crying little brother)--
Aren't yoI ashamed of yourself, Dick?
Robbie says he has already given you
two bites. Dick But it's my apple
Life.
Shea-How long have you been slck2
Ryan--FiVe days Shea-Glory be
An why don't We git doctor? Ryan
Sure, got 10 80 to wur-ruk Monday
marnin'. Puck
Come in here, | wish to tell you n
piece of gossip Mrs Smith told me-"
lis II good?" els il? | had to prom
lse not 10 tell soul before she would
tell me. - Houston Post.
Higgins understand your son IL
pursuing his studies Mt college. Wig
gns-Nes; but from what | can ascer-
tain, don't believe he will ever catch
up with them. Chicago Daily News.
Mr. Mcanly 1 see they are wearing
gowns longer this year. Mrs. Meanly
(flercely) Well, If they wear 'em any
longer than | do. they will have to
make em ont of sheet-iron. Pick me
up,
Little Dimpleton How long will 1t
take you to give me working knowl-
edge in jiu-jitsu? The Professor-Oh,
say, two weeks But, heavens, man,
can't walt all that time to get rid OF
| that cook. Life.
| The inspector of police was before
| the commissioner. lis there graft In
your precincts" demanded the superior.
Il think not" responded the inspector.
my impression Is that | got 1t all. -
Philadelphia Ledger.
! Hicks ] dropped around 70 see the
Flt2 Hoses in their dat last night, but
| couldn't get in. Wlcks Not at home.
| eh? Hicks Yes, they were all at
home; that was the trouble. Catholic
| Standard and Times
sold your automobile, eh 2" exclalm-
| ed Wyss What was the trouble?"
Couldn't control IT," explained Acher
when / ran fast It took me TO the
police court ana when | ran slowly Il
didn't take me anywhere - Iarper's
Weekly.
Magazine Edltor~-Your sonnet has
literary merit but ! can't use It be-
cause ii does not conform to the esnb-
lished rules of sonnet writing Ambi-
tlous Young Contributor-Th is Its
chief merit. sir, II establishes new
form for the Chicago Tribune.
The attendant in the dentists office
approached the man with the swollen
jaw who had just entered. do you
want 10 have tooth extracted?" she
inquired. Want to-" he snorted. want
to What do you think | am, a luna.
ticl I've got to."-Ann Arbor Chap
arral
Uncle Eben telling the Sugarville
news to his urban nephew An Bl
Hanks hcz hung out his shingle ez a
lawyer. That fellow Why, he can't
even read" "Oh, Bill knows what
he's a-doin. He's goin' { make a
speshulty of this onwrltten kind, thet's
maxim sech hit hyur lately."-Puck.
Chlcaneli, who had to leave on a
journey before the end OF a case be-
gun against him by a neighbor, gave
orders to his lawyer TO let him know
the result by telegraph. After sew
eral days he got the following tele-
gram Right has triumphed." He ut
once telegraphed back: appeal imml-
diately. I'll MundO Umorlstico.
Ia Good season