davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1907-03-29
QUICK IN REToRT.
Stories Of Some Masters OF the Gentle
Art Of Repartee.

Senator ingalls, was always quick
IN rctort, although he was himself
a subject Of some sharp shafts. Once
he was attacked by Senator Eli
Salisbury of Delaware, the second
smallest state in the Union. He
disposed Of the whole matter bv say
ing, IL thank the senator from that
great state which has three counties
at low tide and two counties at high
tide for his advice
John Randolph of Roanoke was
the most sarcastic man ever heard
IN the halls of congress, unless Da-
vld a. De Almond of Missouri be an
exception. Both Randolph's and
DE Almonds speeches drip vitriol.
but they are not epigrammatic and
are hard TO quote. Randolph, who
ilcurlshed IN the early days of the
republic, when things were all un-
settled, was furiously attacked by a
Republican from Rhode Island who
had been blacksmith. Randolph
was a descendant of Pocahontas and
of the best blood of aristocratic Nir-
gina. lie replied to the presump-
tuous blacksmith: "What creden-
ilals docs the gentleman bring?
From whence does he spring? And
why has he left his leather apron
behind" The reply was hissed
back, 81 sent it to Pocahontas to
make moccasins for his grandchil-
dren."
An Illustration Of the nimble and
caustic wit of Alexander II. Ste
phens Of Georgia in senatorial de-
bate occurred on the senate floor
during a heated argument with Rob
ert Toombs, also of Georgia. Ste
Phens, although possessed of one Of
the most powerful brains Of his
time, was lame and had wizened
little body. Toombs was one of the
largest men in the senate and was
of clustering, sputtering type. He
had argued with Stephens until he
was hoarse and became so exasper-
ated that he threatened to fight.
However, consideration of the size
of his opponent deferred him. and,
turning, he said, 81 won't fight you,
but | could swallow you whole"
Stephens quickly retorted, IF YOU
did YOU would have more brains in
your stomach than you ever had in
your head. - Frederic J. IIaskin
in Louisville Courier-Journal
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1907-03-29
Do DOGS Cure rheumatism i?

among the curious ideas Of the
populacc," said a physician, there
is a widespread one to the effect
that dogs cure rheumatism. Only
last month rheumatic patient
whom ! had treated for three
months said:
"Wcll, doctor, you've done me
no good. and am going to give
you up and try dog
He bought cocker spaniel and
had it sleep in bed at his feet every
night. The warmth Of the dog un-
doubtedly helped him. for he is
quite we'll now. But what a super
stitious fool he was to believe that
a dog could ctrc a disease. Gin
cinnati Enquirer
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1907-03-29
Fake Antioues.

People are buying English an
tiques from taste or as investments,
and as they do not part with them
the supply is becoming shorter and
shorter. \ result is that the coun-
try is full Of limitations. The AN
tiqucs" to be found in country shops
are frequently bogus. We are flood
ed with copies of antique furniture
and cngrayings. There are shop
auctions in London of whole stocks
Of bogus cngravings, silver boxes.
Battcrsca cnamcls. miniatures and
the likc-London Spectator.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1907-03-29
Animals Tried In Court.

Down to a comparatively late pc
rod IN continental Europe the low
er animals were considered amena-
bic to the laws. Domestic animals
were tried in the common criminal
courts. Wild animals fell under &C.
clesiastical jurisdiction. French an
tiquarics have discovered the rec
ords of nlnety-two processes against
animals, conducted with the strict
est formalities of justice, from 1920
10 l;i0, when the last trial and ex-
ecution. that Of a COW. took place.
Thus there was lawsuit that lasted
from HIS to 1887 between the in
habitants of st. Julian and a kind
Of beetle, and at Lavigny in 14j7 a
SOW and her six young ones were
tried on a charge of having murder
ed and partly eaten a child. The
SOW was found guilty and condemn
ed to death, but the little pigs we're
acquitted on account Of their youth,
the bad example Of their mother
and the absence of direct proof
against them.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1907-03-29

One Of two hairdressers by way
of advertising himself cuts his hair
in the most faultless manner, ac-
cording to the latest fashion plate.
The other, on the contrary, cuts his
in the most clumsy way imaginable.
The first customer who entered his
shop did not fail 20 take him to task
about it. "How in the world, being
yourself barber, do you have your
hair so badly cut ?"
why, sir, the reason is simple
enough. / cannot possibly cut my
hair myself, but am obliged to have
recourse TO my colleag . over the
way, and he is such a duffer."
"And | suppose YOU cut his in
turn"
"Of course. And you can Judge
for yourself whether he oughtn't to
be satisfied. Rome Journal.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1907-03-29
POSTING Him.

Shopwalkcr Severely Il heard
YOU tell the lady she would find the
ribbons at the third counter to the
left.
New Shopwalker - That's where
they are.
Shopwalker = Yes. But you
should have told her TO go to the
right past the necktie bargain coun-
ter, turn to the left past the stock
ing bargain counter, then three
counters to the right past the coun-
ter where the millinery bargains
are, and so on. You'll never make
a shopwalker.-London Standard.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1907-03-29
Punishment.

At one time in a certain peniten-
tiary there was a renaissance in the
moral discipline of the prison, and
all were compelled to attend chapel
regularly. One of the prisoners
came to the warden one day and
begged to be allowed to remain
away from the chapel exercises, as
he wanted Sundays to write letters
to his friends. The warden looked
at the beseeching convict in amaze
ment. what" he exclaimed, sal
low you to stay away from religious
exercises all the time. No. sir.
Why, man. don't YOU know that's
part Of the penalty?" And the con-
Wet continued to worship regularly,
while the warden led in prayer.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1907-03-29
superstition In Calcutta.

The grossest superstition exists
in Calcutta. Not long ago an In
dian gentleman residing in Jaun
Bazar street had a live goat flung
down from his two storicd house in
accordance with the directions of a
so called magician, who was called
in to cast out devil with which a
son was supposed to be possessed.
The poor brute was first fed with a
few bamboo leaves over which the
wizard mumbled some mantras, and
it was then pushed over the terrace.
The animal was killed, and its flesh
was distributed to the poor.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1907-03-29
:, Brown Mfg. Co.
Oreenville Tenn, st. Louis. No.
A POOR ORGAN

Dams the bile. That's what vour
hver does If Its torpid. Then the bile
overiiows into the blood poisons your
sys EN-, causing sick headache. billions
ness sailow skin, coated tongue sick
s,oilach' dizziness. fainung spells. etc.
Ramon treatment Of Liver Pills and
tome Pellets strengthens the liver and
makes II do its own work. Prevent and
cures these troubles. Ii aids. dosen't
force: Entire treatment 25c. At Flick
and Pfau's drug store.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1907-03-29
lamp Liahtina Machines.

A clever device. il is said. has
just been invented in Birmingham,
England. that will light street
lamps by clockwork. The invention,
il is announced, is so nicely adjust
cd that the gas will be lighted at a
different moment each day in the
year, according to the varying sea
sons. Another remarkable feature
of this wonderful machine is that
while at the proper time it turns on
the gas at night, it also turns it off
in the morning. When once adjust
ed the apparatus will do its daily
daty through the winding of the
attachment once n week.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1907-03-29
We Guarantee Satisfaction

}. \. Brogden Of the national SIGN
20, Dayton Ohio, writes under date OF
ocl. y 1906: "Nosena is the only pre-
paraiIon have ever used that relieves
my affection so speedily and pleasantly
am getting the iirst real pleasure ont
oi breathing that / hive experienced
siace ! contracted catarrh six wears AGO
Money would not buy my tube of Nos
ena II ! could not get another"
Buy NOSENA from all druggists get
your money back if not satisfied. sam
pie tube and booklet by mail IOc,s
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1907-03-29
Jefferson Tp. Notice,

The undersigned trustee OF Jefferson
township, Dubois county hereby gives
notice that he will attend TO all business
pertaining to the Office of Trustee at his
residence one mile north Of Birdseye ON
the Tuesdays OF each week aud requests
all persons having township business to
present it on Office DAYS.
JOHN w. ENLOw, Trustee.
Jan. 5, 05-lyr
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1907-03-29

There was a little schoolma'am.
Who had this curious way
or drilling In subtraction
on every stormy day:
'Lots all subtract unpleasant things.
Like doleful dumps and pain.
And said she. you'll gladly see
That pleasant things remain"
Chicago News
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1907-03-29
i.rDison Trustees Notice

NOTICE. If hereby given hat the under.
hgned Trustee Of HARRISON township.
siIl IL. end TO township business on eacf.
Monday Of the year, at my Office, ana
yersons having township business to
rsnsact are required to present il to him
On Mondays.
The township horsry will be kent at
my home near Dubois.
Jo5N l.. HARDER, Trustee.
Jan B. ~ O..
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1907-03-29
CATARRH
and
CATARRHAL HEADACHE

are quickly relieved by NOSENA. 1t
sooths toe contested membranes allays
inhamations and thoroughly heals and
cieanses. II keeps moist all the passages
whose tendency is no thicken and be-
Son'e dry. Cures colds, throat troubles,
ihoarseness, hayfever. stopped up' nose
breathing through mouth while sleepino
offensive breath etc. IL il antiseptic and
contains no chemicals or drugs having a
narcotic effect, or that can cause the drug
haDlt. Sold at ali druggists.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1907-03-29
Boone Township Trustees
Notice.

Inc undersigned, Trustee of Boone
township, Dubois county, hereby gives
notice that he will attend to all business
pertaining to the Office of Trustee. al his
residence, four-miles southwest of Po,-
tersville, on Saturdaysof OF each week. ana
y nests all persons having township
usi ness to present II on Saturday. Citi-
,ens desiring books from the Township
Library, are notified the. the Library is
yeut si my residence.
School books at James Mnlksy's
a. Portersville. PETER J. ScHSARR.
Trustee Boone TIP.
an. 3, lp05--y.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1907-03-29

fo-ce them? No-aids them. Ra-
mons treatment of liver pills and Toni.
reiiels strengthens the Liver and digest
I've organs 60 that they do their own
WorS and fortifies your constitution
against iuture trouble. Entire treat
ment 25c at all druggists.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1907-03-29
United States Legal Tender.

Gold coin not below weight is lc-
gal tender for its nominal value.
Standard silver dollars and treasury
notes Of 1890. Subsidiary silver Is
legal tender 10 the amount Of so
and minor coins to the amount of
% cents. United States notes are
nlso legal tender.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1907-03-29
'''''-"' township Trustee
Notice.

Nol". xi.er tiat hereafter the Trus
zee OF Mahson township will De at his
ONCE each Saturday at his residence,
one mile southwest o. Ireland. Ind,
ioI The pur )ose OF attending to
o"ushlp tuslnees, and all persons hav
IA BUSINESS with the township arc ex.
1ecisi to roniine IT TO those days.
fhe township library is KEEP. at Sam'l
heans IN Ireland, where all may
90 ain the books.
he Infiana School books will be
a. At Henry Summers store at al,
."ss. SAMUEL A. GLEzkS,
an. D. lsO' Trustee Madison Tn.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1907-03-29
The SoIace of Easter

Spoke to the sea
When the tide rolled in
And said ''Xouve been
10 the worlds far side:
Oh, where is she
Who they say has ded?"
But the tide had never a word to saw
Tho waited an watched till it rolled away.
spoke to the sun
When it set at night,
and aid Your light
Has been far and wide;
Oh, where is the one
Who they say has ded?'
But he sun had never word to tell
mo watched till it sank where the shadows fell
70 the wind wept
AS it hurried by
On, low and high
On ON wings you ride
Oh where is she kept
no they say has died."
But the wind had nothing to tell my ear
Iho listened with all my soul to hear
spoke to each star
Of the upper blue,
And said From you
There is naught can hide
Is she near or far
Who they say has died?"
But the stars were silent alas alasl
As the sea and the sun and the winds that pass.
spoke t. my God
As knelt in prayer,
And said Thy care
Is our guide and guard
Is she meath the sod
Who they say has ded?"
And the answer came as trumpet calls
She abdes with me in the heavenly halls
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1907-03-29

The New Idea Woman's
Magazine contains over 100
pages each month of fashions,
Yr.dance for making clothes
nd household helps.
Each number is divided
somewhat as follows:
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1907-03-29
The Fashions

10 pages of reading and des-
crlption; also nine full-page
fashion plates-many of them
in color. Q
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1907-03-29
IctiOn and
! liOrmatiOnaI Articles

90 pages by the best writers.
Beautifully illustrated.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-06-08

forms OF the Uniformed Rank knights
OF Pythias. are not to be changed at
this time, the proposition to change It
being voted down to-day by the Sus
preme Assembly. Uniformed Rank.
Knights OF Pythias OF the World. In
convention at the inside Inn, at, the
exposition. The proposition to change
the Uniform was proposed by the Mas
sachusetts Brigade.
An amendment providing that no
brigade with less than fifteen compa-
MES shall have representation in the
Supreme Assembly went to commit
tee.
A resolution providing for the cleo
ton OF officers by letter was adopted.
with but one dissenting vote, that OF
General J. Alexander Exing. OF West
Virginia. The object OF this resolutio n
ls to obtain q full vote. A resolution
providing for the organization OF q
signal corps In connection with the
uniformed rank was referred to COM
mittee OF three. which Is to revise the
rules and regulations. and another res
olution making the term Of O brigadier-
general two years instead OF four was
referred to the committe on rules and
regulations. to be reported on at the
meeting to be held In Boston in Au-
gust. 1908.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-06-08
MOMENTS NATIONAL PRESS.
Annual Convention Now Being Held al
Expedition.

Expokition.
Especial to The mes-Dlspatch,1
JAMESTOWN EXP os1TIO.N
GROUNDS, June THE Women's Ma
tional Press Association, 200 strong,
met in annual convention this morn
ing at 1920 o'clock at the inside Inn,
st the Exposition Grounds
The convention was called to order
by Mrs. Ellen s. Cromwell, president
OF the association. after which the
Invocation was offered by Mrs, James
p, Gilbert. OF Washington.
President Harry st. George Tucker,
Of tho exposition, made q welcome ad
dress TO the delegates, and this was
responded to by Mrs. Cromwell, a
Chief sllas Snyder, OF the exploita-
tlon department OF the exposition,
spoAo to the women present. and was
followed by various members OF the
orGanlaatlor VITO gave short talks
Tho morntng convention OF tho nsso-
citation was concluded with a "Chall,
Talk" by Clifford K. Berryman, cars
toonist on the Washington Post. He
entertained With sketcheA In chalk and
various other Important characters.
This afterno Don !. ut 4 & O'Clock & ia
Yellowstone Park, u an 4 lust rated lec-
ture. a UNI ers The auspices Of the ASSOC
ciati Tor, . was given In the q government
Ell lhlt BAIL dinH e. n sSss n
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-06-08
WORDEN WINS
AT RAPID PACE
Torpedo-Boat Averages e. s:
Knots an Hour Down Coast
from New York.

I . : y ID 4 d
NORFOLK. VA. June 1.-THE tor
pedo- boat destroyess Whlpple. !Truxton.
Stuart. Huh, Worden and Hopkins,
from tho Scotland liehtship, New York.
at $3.50 A. III. yesterday on 24U-mlle
race to Cape Henry. arrived off the Vir-
gin1a coast last night.
Va. the. Hopkins broke a propeller
strut At $3.50 =. M. to-day the Wor.
den. Truxtun, Stuart and Hull passed
in the Virginia capes, s5. a 4, D h I
The Worden won the race between
the torpedo boat destroyer fotilla iron,
New York ITO Cape Henry yesterday.
The Worden dropped anchor by tho
flagship Connecticut OF the vir-
ginia capes. at 1880 O'Clock
last night. tis and was congratu-
lated by Admiral Evans. Her time was
221-2 knots per hour from Scotland
lightshlp to Cape Henry.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-06-08

the horses unaccustoned to dragging
tho grim instruments OF war or work.
ing In double and quadrup1c harness.
Finally all was arranged satisfactorily,
tho buEle rang out, tho whip was APP
Piled and the column began to move
southwark on Eighth Street. the men,
khaki clad and very much In earnest,
sitting tho horses or mounted on the
guns and caissons. It wns an inpos-
Ing spectacle, and one which reminded
the older citizens OF days when other.
Richmond young men, like these, the
flower OF it's manhood, started forth
on more nomentous journey forty
six years ago. The young men Of to-
day wcer as eager as those of war
times for tho march, the field and the
camp, and We're equipped for service
In every way.
Down Eight Street to Main and into
Main wheeled tho martial cortcgc,
attentive to his business. Along the
route the curb was linod with inter-
.cstcd spectators, and many cheers went
up for the artillerymen as they started
on their long march. From Main the
column wheeled into Ninth Street.
thence to the Free Bridge and across
to Manchester, where the boys were
again cheered and attracted tho atten-
ton Of q large crowd scattered along
the line Of march. After taking dinner
In Manchester. the battery again re-
stunned the march, and continued 1t un-
til nightfall, when q stop was made
and camp prepared for the night. Ow--
Ing to the delay in starting, the How
tiers did not got further than eleven
miles from Richmond.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-06-08
GREAT CROWDS
EROM GEORGIA.
Special Trains Will Run from
Several Points in That
State.

Especial to The Times-Dispatch.1
ia ME- sTowN EXPOSITION
June 7.-Headed by Cover
nor Terrell and his sta1. Georgia Is
marching on the Jamestown Exposition,
hundreds strong. The great. Empire
State OF the South will be represented
here on Georgia Day, when President
Roosevelt will open the State building
on the Exposition Grounds. by del
egation which win comprise her Official
and military departments. as we'll as
her leading citizens in private walks
OF life.
No less than four special trains,
bringing the host OF southerners. will
reach here over the Seaboard Air Line
Railway. the first OF them being duo
to arrive tomorrow morning.
Governor Terrell and his staff and
State officials and prominent Atlanta
people. will head the advance guard,
and Is due to arrive by the frst spe-
cial, which consists OF baggage car,
diner and four slcepers. The train left
Atlanta this morning. and will arrive
in Portsmouthato tomorrow morning.
Three special trains will arrive Sun
day morning over the seaboard Air
Line. ono OF which will bring In the
Fifth Georgia Regiment. The Journal
correspondents. travelling in . special
train. Will leave Atlanta at 1:1o O'clock
Tomorrow. and will arrive IN Ports
mouth at 10 ~'c1ock Sunday morning.
a steamer will meet the party at the
Raw Line pier. and the corresnondentr
-.,,,, ,oa~. ~ o-cn 1c- .yorro~+ov.r
r-'cra ~ct,,~-'r--P+ =, tre rrs,Io INN ~
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-06-08

marked that Governor Swanson, COM
mander- In chief OF the Virginia Vol
untcers, stated in recent public
speech that II any employer or corpo-
ration failed to allow their men to go
out when ordered out, he would deny
them the protection Of the military. and
would publish tho mas refused to heed
the executive order.
Captain r. Page Burwell had his
company, B. Of the Blues, out for drill
on Broad Street last night, and the
boys worked hard, Company B has
the distinction OF being the best drilled
company In the State. having won the
prize oi1ored at the fair last year. The
boys showed proficiency last night and
will make fine appearance at the
exposition encan1pment.
f, Captain Burwell stated that he had
found employers very ready to let
the men OK whenever possible, but
that In few cases such as drug
clerks or other men filing positions
requiring technical skill; and IN which
1t was difficult to. secure satisfactory
substitutes, It was almost impossible
for the mon 10 set OF.
Tobacco Ter the Grays.
!, Captain John Landstreet, OF tho r !.
A. Patterson Tobacco Company has
presented to the Richmond Grays,
Company A, Of the Seventieth Regi-
ment, q case Of chewing and stt1okin 6
tobaccos. to be divided among the men
during the camp Of Instruction at the
jamestown Expedition. The members
are very grateful for this most &C.
ceptable gilt. and will greatly enjoy
the weed during their camp life.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-06-08
the Exposition Grounds, Sunday eve
ming.
BIG BATTLESHIPS
NOW ASSEMBLING
Massive Ocean Fighters Taking
Position in Line for Review
by President Roosevelt.

Especial to The Times Dispatch.]
JANE SHOWN EXP s1T1ON
GROUNDS. June Twelve American
bsttleships OF the Atlantic fleet,
ono armorad cruiser, four tor
pedo-boat destYoyera several auxiliary
vessels and four foreign war-ships
dropped anchor OF the Exposition
Grounds to-day. where they will form
a part Of the great International fleet
to greet and be reviewed by Presi-
dent Roosevelt on next no nday. Geor-
gia Day. at the exposition, and to re-
main until after June II. Virginia Day
Most OF the Americans and all of
the foreigners which will make up
the big fleet, the biggest and !. most
powerful fleet that has ever assembled
In American waters. are now here sor
nearing this harbor.
A complete list Of the vessels now
at the exposition anchorage Is:
American.
North Atlantic Fleet-Battleship
Squadron-Admiral Evans CT mmanding,
First Division-Connectic Louis
lana, Maine and Missouri; Second d.
vislon-Virg inia, Rhode Island, New
Jersey and Georgia; Third Division
Alabama. Illinois, Kearsarge and Ken
lucky; Fourth Division-Ohio, Minneso-
ia. Iowa and Indiana.
Observation-Disclosures and Tennessee.
MISUNDERSTANDING Hull, Stewart
Truxtun. Whipple and Worden.
Ships stationed in Roads-Cruiser
Brooklyn. battleship Texas, Miantono-
mob. Canonicus. Macdonough and
Cushing.
Foreign
1taly-Cruisers varese and Etruria.
!. Brazil---cruiser Barroso and gunboat
Tamayo.
Frencb-cruisers Victor Hugo, Kle-
ber and Loubet.
Austria>-cr uisers Aspern and sankt
Georg.
Z Nethorla nds-Gelde