davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1907-12-28
Not for That Kind of Fire,

The Edmonton firemen are COM
planning about people sending in
alarms from the new boxes by trying
to post letters in them. A young fell
low was noticed the other day gazing
lovingly at letter as he stood on the
street corner. After fondling it for a
moment, he went up to a fire alarm
box and tried to get it inside. A pass
er-by, who had been watching him,
however, interviewed: II know your
hearts on fire" he observed, but |
think you had better use the box at
the next corner"
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1907-12-28
II Will Stav There

"In my family medicine chest no
remedy is permitted to remain unless
it proves beyond a doubt the best to
be obtained for its particular purpose.
For treating all manner of skin trou-
bles. such as Eczema, letter, Ring
worm, etc, Hunts Cure has held its
place for many years. ! have failed
to find a surer remedy II cures itch
ing instantly
II. NJ. SWAMI, Franklin, La
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1907-12-28
Not "Just as cood"-It's the Best

One box of Hunts Cure is unfaiIing.
ly, unqualifiedly and absolutely guar.
anteed to cure any form of Skin Dis.
ease, 1t is particularly active in
promptly relieving and permanently
curing all forms of itching known.
Eczema, letter, Ringworm and all
similar troubles are relieved by one
application; cured by one box.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1907-12-28
a Nonbeliever.

mo- said the old lady, II don't be-
lieve vaccination does a bit of good"
I'm surprised to hear you say that"
reioined the physician.
"Well," continued the old lady, I've
got good grounds for my nonbelief My
brother was vaccinated when he was a
boy and two weeks later he fell out Of
a tree and was killed."
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1907-12-28

81 should think you could easily
show the errors Of your political OPP
ponents.'
Perhaps" answered Senator Sorg
hum, but if should convince them
they would simply adopt my sugges
tons without giving me any credit for
them. The opposition's mistakes are
a part of my capital"
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1907-12-28

statute was so worded as to penalize
not only honest criticism of the eYecu.
tive, but even the free expression of
opinion. No legislation more fatal to
the popularity of Adams adminstra-
ton could possibly have been devised;
but although the sole responsibility
for its enactment has frequently been
charged to the president, 1t cannot
justly be laid at his door His fussy,
sensitive, conscientious, frotchety,
tactless nature had doubtless been
more stung by the lsmpoons and
critical attacks Of the pamphlets aud
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1907-12-28

The OnIy Way,

Cassidy-Ah! we'll no wan kin pre-
vi1t watts past an gone.
Casey-Ye could if We only acted
quick enough.
Cassidy-Go long, man! how could
yer?
Casey-Stop it before it happens.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1907-12-28
MEASURE A STRINGENT ONE.
Our First Law Against the Freedom
OF The Press.

Under the provisions of this law
anyone who wrote, printed, uttered OF
published any false, scandalous OF
malicious matter against the govern
ment, the congress or the president
of the United States, or which tended
to bring them into hatred or con
tempt, could be punished by heavy
fines AID Imprisonment; and The
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1907-12-28

There is more actual misery and
less real danger in a case of itching,
skin disease than any other ailment.
Runts cure is manufactured espe-
Clally for these cases. 1t relieves in
stantly and cures promptly. Absolute
~ guaranteed.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1907-12-28
THOUGHT CHILD WOULD DIE.
Whole Body Covered with Cuban Itch
--Cuticura Remedies Cured at Cost
Of Seventy.FiVe Cents.

my little boy, when only an infant
Of three months, caught the Cuban
Itch. Sores broke out from his head
to the bottom of his feet. He would
itch and claw himself and cry all the
time. He could not sleep day or night,
and light dress is all he could wear.
I called one of our best doctors to
treat him, but he seemed to get worse.
He suffered so terribly that my hus-
band said he believed he would have
to die. | had almost given up hope
when a lady friend told me to try the
Cuticura Remedies. | used the Cuti-
cura Soap and applied the Cuticura
Ointment and he at once fell into a
sleep, and he slept with ease for tho
first time since two months. After
three applications the sores began to
dry up, and in just two weeks from the
day commenced to use the Cuticura
Remedies my baby was entirely well.
The treatment only cost 75c, and
would have gladly paid 500 if could
not have got it cheaper. | feel safe in
saying that the Cuticura Remedies
saved his life. He is now a boy of five
years Mrs. Zana Miller, Union City,
R. F. d. No. /, Branch Co., Mich, May
II, 1906"
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1907-12-28
Treatment Of Enemies.

whisky" said the parson to the
man with the crimson beak, 'is your
greatest enemy
Perhaps it is rejoined the old
rounder, but doesn't the good book
admonish us to love our enemies?'
Yes answered the parson, "but
not to swallow them"
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1907-12-28

Mrs. q. Z. Goforth, 2119 Holly Street,
Kansas City. writes: After using a
sample bottle and two 25c bottles of
Hunts Lightning Oil, | am almost well
of Catarrh. 1t stops my headaches 1t
is the best medicine | ever saw and |
just cant keep house without it." She
is right
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1907-12-28

FITS, st. Vitus Dance and all Nervous
Diseases permanently cured by DR.. Kline's
Great Nerve Restorer. Send for Free 500
trial bottle and treatise. DR.. R. II. Kline
Id, 93l Arch St., Philadelphia, Pa.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1907-12-28
Didn't Find Out.

so you really attended the lecture
last night?"
"Yes."
"What did the lecturer talk about?"
well, I'm not sure, for he didn't
say,"-rThe Isyseumite and Talent
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1907-12-28
Personal Assumptjon.

why does that officeholder swell up
and act so Important" asked the
neighbor,
Il suppose it's habit" answered
Farmer Corntossel. That's how be
got the Job In the first place."
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1907-12-28
WhY She Refrained.

George, saw that Singleton woman
to day carrying the silk umbrella that
she borrowed from me at the club
card party
Why didn't you ask her for lt?'
" was just going to when ! remem-
bered that | borrowed it from Mrs.
Trumper."
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1907-12-28

The active only have the true relish
of life. He who knows not what 1t is
to labor, knows not what it is to en-
| Ioy.-Jay.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1907-12-28

Don't be serious, Jack. Let's change
the subject. What is that bright
starr"
That's Sirius, too, dear"
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1907-12-28
Knew What Was Coming to Him.

A man who died recently in the
north of England and had been living
dishonest life, under the cloak Of
religion, wishing to pose as a good
man to the last. said to those around
him:
IAN is bright before me-"
aye" said one of those present,
whom he had swindled out of sum
of money, IAN in abeaut ten minnits
theau'll be near enoof to see tn
blaZei"
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1907-12-28

1t is wonderful what strength of pur
pose and energy and holiness of will
are reused by the simple assurance
that we are doing our duty.--Seott.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1907-12-28
SORRY HE SPOKE.

Hubby-Just look at that idiot, Fftz
Jones, what a charming, amiable wife
he has-seems to me all the biggest
fools get hold of the prettiest women!
Wifey-You're right, nobody knows
that better than do.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1907-12-28
A Query.

Bubbie-Mamma?
Mamma-Wel?
Bobbie-Were men awful scarce
when you married papa or did you
Just feel sorry for him Exchange.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1907-12-28
The comprehenslxa Mind.

The true, strong and sound mind u
the mind that can embrace equa
great things and small,-Dr, johnson
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1907-12-28

PILES CURED IN TO IA DAYS.
PAZo OINTM ENT is guaranteed to cure any case
Of Itching, Blind, Bleeding or Protruding Piles in
D to IA days or money refunded. Soc.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1907-12-28
GREAT SCHEME.

"Are you still troubled by your
neighbor's chlckens?" asked one man
of another.
mot a bit" was the anawer. They
are kept shut up now.
How did you manage it?"
"Why. every night put lot OF
eggs in the grass very carefully and
every morning, when my neighbor was
looking, l went out and brought them
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1907-12-28

After coaxing girl to sing man is
apt to wish he hadn't.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1907-12-28

TayIor's Cherokee Remedy OF Sweet
Gum and Mullen is Natures great rem.
edy-Cures Coughs, Colds, Group and Con-
sumption, and all throat and lung troubles,
AT druggists, 25c, SOC and Sl.00 per bottle.
A bluff is all right as long as you
can keep the lid on.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1907-12-28

Despair is the paralysis Of the soul.
Helps.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1907-12-28
For Over Half a Century

For Over Half Century
Browns Bronchial Troches have been
unexcelled as a cure for hoarseness,
coughs and sore throat.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1907-12-28

An excuse is seldom justifable ex.
cuse.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1907-12-28

5N'T it hard, said the
widow, glancing ruefully
at the holly-wreathed
clock on the mantel-pIece,
to know where to begin
reforming yourself?'
Great heavens ex-
claimed the bachelor,
you are not going to do
anything like that, are
you?"
The widow pointed SCI
The Globe-republican., 1907-03-21
SPOILED EFFECT OF SCENE.
Unfortunate Tipping Of Candle Too
Much for Audience.

The late Joseph Jefferson took de-
light in telling story Of business"
In the earlier days Of the Walnut
Street theater, Philadelphia. Cam
lille" was being played and all was go
ing with intensity. Then came q
scene between Camille and Armand,
in the course Of which servant was
to enter with lights. I'm those days."
said Mr.. Jefferson, "sea island cotton
was stage ice cream Just as molasses
and water were stage wine, sherry or
port, according to the proportion Of
molasses. Armand and Camille were
seated at the table, where they had
been enjoying such viands as these,
and their dialogue was making the
very best Of an impression on the
crowded house. Then in came that
maid servant with the wabbliest sort
of a candelabrum. The scene was so
engrossing that she was scarcely no.
ticed, but when she sat down her bur
den between the loverr and one Of
the candles toppled out and put the
ice cream In BLACKWELL, the strain
was broken. The entire audience burst
into laughter and the curtain had to
be rung down."-Harper's Weekly.
The Globe-republican., 1907-03-21
Saved Her Sons Life.

The happiest mother In the little town
Of Ava, Mo-, Is Mrs. s. Rupee. She
writes: Zone year ago my son was"own
with such serious lung rouble that our
physician was unable to help him; when,
by our druggists advice l began giving
him DR.. Kings New Discovery, and |
soon noticed Improvement. l kept this
treatment up for afew weeks when he
was perfectly we'll. He has worked
steadily since at carpenter work. DR..
Kings New Discovery saved bis life."
Guaranteed best cough and cold cure by
Rath q cambridge, druggists. SOC and
81 co. Trial bottle free,
The Globe-republican., 1907-03-21
The Talking Tree.

An alumnus of st. Stephens college
said of the late Bishop George F. Sey-
mour: Bishop Seymour founded st.
Stephens and we treasure here many
anecdotes about his wardenship. The
bishop was fond of trees, and one day,
walking with young lady, he pointed
out to her some Of the fine trees in
the neighborhood. She protested
great interest and delight. She cried:
How the noble aspect Of beautiful
trees stirs up the keenest emotions Of
the soulr Then, patting a great, rough
trunk, she went on, You superb oak,
what would you say to me II you could
talk?' The bishop smiled. I believe
| can be his interpreter he MUIR
INJURED. He would probably say, II
beg your pardon, miss; am q
BEECH"
The Globe-republican., 1907-03-21
The Danube.

The Danube is not the largest or
longest river In the world, but Its
beautiful blue waters flow through
countries in which 81 languages and
dialects are spoken. Its total length
Is 1875 miles, and the Danube basin
covers an area of 100000 square miles.
It bears upon its current four-fifths Of
the commerce of Eastern Europe.
THE Beautiful Blue Danube waltz
composed by Johann Strauss H., is
perhaps the best known and most
popular piece of dance music in the
world. It has caused possibly mil
lion marriages, and may have pre-
vented few. This same Strauss, by
the way, who died only eight years
ago, was the composer of 400 waltzes.
The Globe-republican., 1907-03-21
Was a Bit Ratified.

In a Boston court, one day recently,
a bit of merriment was caused by a
witness on the stand. She was a col
ored woman, and very nervous.
Where do you live?" asked the law
yer, after ascertaining her name I'm
Boston," was the answer. And on
what street," Camden street." Nov,
how long have you lived in Boston?'
"Ten years." Prior to your coming to
Boston where did you live?" The wit
ness hesitated, her eyes rolling from
side to side; then, just as the lawyer
was about to repeat the question, she
said: "On Dover street."
The Globe-republican., 1907-03-21
Weak, Weary Women.
Learn the Cause of Daily Woes and
End Them.

Learn the cause OF Daily woes and
End Them.
When the back aches and throbs.
Nhen homework 10 torture.
When night brings 40 rest nor sleep.
When urinary disorders set In
Women's lot is q weary QUE.
There IL way tO escape these woes.
Doan's Kidney Pills cure such Ills.
This Is one Kansas woman's testi-
mony:
MRS Melissa A. Love, Of oil Hendricks
street, Fort scott, Kan, says: "Lasl
winter had an attack Of the grip, and II
affe,ted my kidneys 80 that suffered toT
u long time afler wards with pain and
lameness In the small or the back. had
Ielt this trouble coming on all during the
fall, aud cold took was the final means
of bringing 1t toa climax. II [ swept
tue floor or exerled myself In any other
way, had to go and lie down, but the
dull heavy aching would commence
again as soon as got up and stirred
around. NY son urged me TO try Doan' Is
Kidney Pills, and got box at T. W.
Atkins drug store, and began using them.
| found such gratifying relief that | con.
tinued the treatment until the trouble had
entirely disappeared. MY experience
certainly warrants me 10 recommending
Doan's Kidney Pills to others"
For sale by all dealers. Price 80 cents.
Foster Miburn Co, Buffalo, n. Y, sole
agents for the United STATES.
Remember the name-DoaH's- and
take no other.
The Globe-republican., 1907-03-21
AT THE "oPERY" HOUSE
Tears From the Emotional, Inattention
from the Cynical and Debate by
the "Evelyn Thaw Club"

ears From the Emotional, Inattention
from the Cynical and Debate by
the Evelyn Thaw Club"
Saturday night at the "Opery'' house a
study Of the audience would have been
worth the price Of admission. On some
Of the front rows crowd Of young girls
from the "military reservation" side Of
town we're deluged IN tears from SYM
patty with the heroine's troubles. Their
condition ranged all the way from the
mildly fearful to the verge Of Mysteries,
They were hAdged III by crowd Of less
emotional and more cynical, who refused
to look either at the stage or the row Of
chief mourners. The more nervous had
their inning when the "real railroad
train crossed the stage, when they Wis
IDLY jumped from their seats and emitted
tiny squealets. On the west side Of the
room the fellow who really enjoys a
show, and takes occasion to think bodily
out loud about 1t as 1t progresses, held
forth and had half Of the people on that
side Of the house watching his antics.
The Jeromdelmas club, which was or.
gained some time ago for the purpose of
discussing the Thaw trial, had theatre
party that night, headed by the clubs
president Mr.. Heiue Schmidt. The party
Included Heine Schmidt, Walter Carson,
Bill Caveny, Joe Gronniger, "Winnie"
Jacobs and Harve Garner. They followed
the show through the fret act, but when
the curtain came down the first time one
of the boys inadvertently mentioned that
he thought there was resemblance be-
tween one Of the actors and Abe Hummel
whereupon the president of tile club
promptly called the boys to order and an
animated discussion of the Thaw case
was entered upon. aud the club members
were lost to all else, until tn y noticed
that the audience was leaving the house.
The boys In the orchestra row we're en-
tertained by "Susanne,' the maid on the
stage. Susanne just naturally dotes on
flute and clarinet players, and In her
jag" scene covertly offered to share
her bottle of wine with the players Of
those instruments.
There were various other side issues all
over the house, aud while there was a
good show on the stage, more interest
ing one was to be seen by watching the
audience.
The Globe-republican., 1907-03-21
SQUARE JAW 10 AMERICAN.
Type Of Man Who Makes His Way In
Spite of All Obstacles.

In commenting on the British Med
Zeal Journals statement that "The
American Of to-day presents a firm.
square Jaw. broad brow and clear,
keen eye, which together usually rem
der the recognition Of his nationality
o matter Of no great difficulty" q New
York editorial writer says:
From these features we single out
the square Jaw as the American fea-
ture. The American nose is not much
to brag on, and If the American fore
head Is unusually high, that is a case
for the hair specialist, not the phre.
nologist But no other race of men
have such Jaws as the American. II
anything, they may be a little over
done. There is too much bone. The
chin is long, square, overassertive. It
initiates against the perfect oval Of
the classic countenance. Some Of US
are inclined to the prognathous. 1t
would seem that the house of Haps-
burg has cousins among US. But all
In all, 1t Is good fault. Thank
heaven, we are not sheep-faced
folk.
1.-THE history Of this people is re-
corded in their jaws, not in their
noses. Their individualistic jutting
chins tell that they have had to make
their way and have inherited nothing
but the disposition to do It. The
receding chin, the fish Jaw are the
penalties Of being born with silver
spoon in ones mouth"
The Globe-republican., 1907-03-21
S. c. w. Lghorn Fowls.

~ W we EBuoiH ToW'S'
The Single Comb White Leghorn chick
ems are among the most stylish of any
breed of chickens.
The White Leghorn can not be beat in
laying qualities as well as stylishness
and | wish to impress one thing more
than any other, and that Is the size of the
White Leghorn eggs, they lay as large
an egg as any chicken, except the Cochin
aud Brahma, but larger than many othel
breeds Of chickens. la fact, the White
LeghOrn hen is regular egg machine.
| will have few White Leghorn egg,
for sale at $40 per 10.
81 W. Fl. PRESTON. Dodge City, Kan.
The Globe-republican., 1907-03-21
DR.. Caldweu'S
(Laxati0sl
Syrup Pepsin

the better It will be for you.
You can't afford to fool with your
liver, and you certainly can't afford to
be without this great remedy II your
liver Is out of order. Don't delay.
Both you and your liver will be better
eslivers" than ever.
DR.. CALDWELL'S SYRUP PEPSIN
can be obtained in both dollar and half
dollar sizes from all druggists.
Your money will be refunded II II
does not benefit you.
Your postal card request will bring by return
mail our new booklet, "DR. CALDWELL'S
BOOK OF WONDERS" and free sample to
those who have never tried this wonderful
tsmedy. Send today.
The Globe-republican., 1907-03-21
When Courage Failed.

"A man should always have the
courage of his convictions" Yes
answered the member of congress
gloomily; "but when 1t comes to vot
ing to increase your salary even the
stoutest heart is liable to forget its
high sense of justice and moral duty"
Washington Star.
The Globe-republican., 1907-03-21

WANTED Gentleman or lady to travel
for Mercantile House Of $3.50, 10000 cap
ital. II desirable the home may be used
as headquarters. Weekly salary Of ST.
Os2 90 per year and expenses. Address
J. A. Alexander, l25 Plymouth Place,
Chicago, Ill. ct
The Globe-republican., 1907-03-21
ELY's CREAM BALM
This Remedy Is a Specific,
Sure to Give Satisfaction.
GIVES RELIEF At ONCE.

It cleanses, soothes, heals, and protects the
diseased membrane. It cures Catarrh and
drives away Gold in the Head quickly.
Restores the Senses of Taste and Smell.
Easy to use. Contains no injurious drugs.
Applied into the nostrils and absorbed.
Large Size, 80 cents at Druggists or by
mail; Trial Size, 10 cents by mail.
ELY BROTHERS, Sc Warren St., New York.
The Globe-republican., 1907-03-21
Accounted for Increase.

REPRESENTATION you started on
your trip you had one trunk, but I
see you have two now. Wedderly--
Yes, when | started away my wife
packed nay trunk, but when l got
ready to return I had to do my own
packing. That accounts for the extra
trunk.
The Globe-republican., 1907-03-21
Flour and Feed.

The farmers Elevator has a full sup.
ply Of Moses Best -four, and feed. Cal
and see 1t, and learn prices. tt