davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
La Junta tribune., 1907-12-21

from those counties. The thrush Of
this name is exceedingly fond of the
mistletoe berry. After eating fits oil
the bird flies TO another tree. Being
cleanly. il uses the branch Of the tree
upon which 1t slights for napkin.
wiping its sticky bill thereon. Ere
quentiy Z mistletoe seed il thus de-
posted and glued to the bark. Then
the reproductive process follows nat
urally.
An official Inquiry rs to whether
inistletoe is still to be found on oak
trees. AZ in Druidical days, resulted In
the discovery Of several oaks in one
county Of England bearing the para
site. But modern mistietoe has come
to - Cupidicai rather than Dsuidjcai-
When the mistIetoe and the miss. plus
tie mister. get In the proper positions
tie result rhymes with kiss-
La Junta tribune., 1907-12-21
wiiIv.s Hot chr;ssmse.

.'well. wlIly," said Uncle Ned. who
somstimes talked slanU. II suppose
ycu had hot time On Christmas."
II sh'd say I did," replied WHY.
s8anty Claus nIled my socks % fun
that they fell down Into III fireplace
an kstched on Are, an got up =
gsthef up the scraps that wus left an
found paw thers trytni T do tn sams
thing, an Dot M hands an arms
burned % I had Z stay In bed Ill day,
an then paw Licked NJ. Ter gitt1n' %
70 early on Chris'mus mornin'"
La Junta tribune., 1907-12-21
The MistIetoe
D. 1o3k1rvs LOVE

copyright. 1877. by Robsrtus Lovs.l
you step under the sprig
Of mistletos hanging from
w the chandelier to get your
ChrlStmaa kfno you may not
La Junta tribune., 1907-12-21
In the Kitchen.

Miss Ella tthe cookl-Go long. now,
Mistah Johnsing! How dare yo' kiss
mah ruby lips? ...,...
Mr. 1ohnssa-fo' d LAwd. NJ
Jackslng. Ah jess couldn' ersist claim
In de privilege when All seen dat mis-
tetoe. IA
Miss What mistletoe yo' All
talkin' bout?
Mr.. Johnson-W'y. dat hanein' rom
De shelf right 'bove 20 beautiful haid.
Miss Eiie-Huh! OATS nothin' but
bunch o. splnachl
La Junta tribune., 1907-12-21

plain dishes. chef will be 800
ichic. and you know Miss Ienox has
bsen used to everything. He--s ehsf
y he. Isn't he, JohAv
why. yes, suppose 20. That haS
always been my impFession, th0ugA
don't suppose there n any law about
II girl nlling the position. TAs manage
I'm this case only stated nat Q cAsf
leouId be bad for tive days.~
"well. IT'S = man. = courss. Now.
hurry to he talsphees. pjsAss, bsfssS
some one elss est1 An-s
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-12-22
Vanishing Wild Life.
From the Omaha Bee.

From the Omaha Bee.
President Roosevelt's all-success in find
ing bear plentiful in the Louisiana cane
brakes furnishes an added proof of the
fact, distressing as 1t may be to hunters,
that the day of big game in America has
almost passed. True, some grizzlies still
fatten in the businesses of the Rocky
mountains, vagrant moose are found In
Maine and occasionally an antelope may
be shot in Wyoming, Idaho or Montana,
but the general proposition holds that the
seeker for what the huptsman designate
as "big game" will hereafter be compelled
to go far aield. The buffalo has vanished
from the western Enthusiastically the
plains have also vanished-elk. bear. deer.
the pugnacious cougar and the intrepid
lion, the cowardly coyote and the big
gray wolf have retreated before the
march of the range man, the timber To-
cater and the actual settler. The bones Of
the bison that once bleached and whit
ened along the line of the overland trail
have turned to fertilizers for the wheat
fields of the great west and northwest.
and he who would harken to the call OF
the wild has tedious search before him
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-12-22
HOTELS, RESTAURANTS &CAFEs

manned month longer partakinr Of the
inequalities of the capital society. A
fumor came from over seas that war was
imminent between France and Russia.
When, according to Serurier's report. His
olood. always so boiling has become hot
Ter than ever, and he has decided to re-
turn 10 France without waiting an answer
from your eXcellency. He wants to throw
hlmself at the emperors feet. tell him
what ne has DONE invoke pardon for his
errors and go to expiate them in the ad-
vance guard of his armies"
lie left, carrying dispatches to the
american minister in Paris and to the
french authorities from the French min
lister. AS soon as the happy Henry was
safely away the President sent to Com
gress the costly evidences of British in
trlgue and federalist treason. with a mes
sage which did not reveal the manner in
which the documents had been procured
Inc federalists in Congress had a bad
scare which became amusement when
they found the dreaded papers incriminat-
ed no one. not even the governor general
OF Canada. the instigator of the whole
matter; the laugh was plainly on Presl-
dent Madison and Secretary Monroe, who
had to account for the money expended
in their purchase.
1t later developed that de Crillon was
an 1mpostor. an agent of Napoleon's
secret police. whose drafts in Henry's
favor had been drawn on a person five
years dece ased What became of the
unfortunate Henry has not been told.
Neither has 1t ever been positively known
whether the French minister was in the
secret.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-12-22
= The Hotel Habit.
n the London Spectator.

From the London spectator.
The hotel habit, so to describe 1t, flour
ishes in the United States, and is spread
ing here. 1t is a symptom of the desire
to dodge the annoying discipline of do
nestle existence. In America, however,
there is the excuse that the servant prob
lam is much more acute than here. The
number of Americans who have sought
refuge from that problem in residence at
hotels must be very appreciable pro-
portion of the population of the great
cities. Where permanent hotel life is
necessity there is nothing more to be
said: but where it is chosen, not out of
necessity. but because it is the line of
least resistance it is generally culpable
negation of family life. The normal state
Of the good citizen is to be householder.
Hotels provide a delightful relaxation for
holidays and other brief occasions, but
they forfeit their peculiar and most de-
lghtful property If the right conditions
are not observed. The public must seek
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-12-22
SHOE SIZES.
System Of Numbering the Work Of
a Forgotten Frenchman.


From the New York Sun.
1T Is the hardest thing in the world
for me-" said busy man the other day.
10 remember the sizes of my different
articles of wearing apparel. Collars, shirts
and gloves are easy enough because there
it's matter of actual inches, but where
they get the hat and shoe numbers il
what beats me. and why have an eleven
stocking under an eight shoe is another
mystery"
The last puzzle is easily explained
Stockings have always been measured by
the inch from heel to toe, but the num-
bering of shoes was fixed a long time
ago by a Frenchman, and it's so long
ago that only one New York dealer could
be found who knew anything about it
Even he didn't know the inventors name.
The Frenchman permanently fixed the
numbers of shoes for all Europe and
America. He arbitrarily decided that no
human foot could possibly be smaller
than three and seven-eighths inches, so
calling this point zero he allowed one
third of an inch to a size and SO built
up his scale. Consequently a man can
not find out the number OF his own shoe
unless he is an expert at exact arith-
metic. And even then he is likely to
go wrong, because all shoe experts allow
for the weight of the individual and the
build of his foot before they try to de-
termlne what size Shoe ne ought TO wear.
AS far womens shoes are concerned
the problem is still more difficult because
many of the manufactures, instead of
keeping TO the regular scale. have marked
down their numbers one or two sizes in
order to capture easily f1attered CUSTOM
ers. For this reason most dealers ask
out-of-town customers to send an old shoe
with their orders.
The system of measuring hats is much
simpler. Any man can tell what size he
wears by simply adding the width and
length of the inner rim and then dividing
by two Orders can also be sent to the
shopkeeper by stating the circumference
of the head.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-12-22
Moral Effect Of Athletics.
From ARMY and NAVY Life

Aside from its physical effect, the moral
effect of athletics, in the case of the SOL
der, at least, is of no small value. My
experience has been that men are less
likely to drink in the foot ball or base
ball season, even though they may be ad-
dicted to the use of intoxicants And
this though no special effort may have
been made along these lines by those in
charge of the sports. The class of men
who go in for athletics and excel in such
contests are the most desirable soldiers
and the best al-around men. Still an
other advantage of athletics is that good
athletic teams and the reputation for a
post of having champion teams draw
good recruits and soldiers to enlist there
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-12-22
A Stunning. Surprise.

Representative George w. Taylor was
talking in Demopolis. Ala. about the
hard times.
Hard times are bound to be full of un-
pleasant shocks and stunning surprises"
he said. 81 remember the last panic and
a sermon that a Mobile pastor preached.
THE pastor. in a powerful discourse,
urged economy and retrenchment on his
CONGREGATION In view of the hard times
there should be no extravaganza, no use
less expenditure, he said, but every outgo
ought to be pared down.
His strong sermon had swift and
unexpected effect. The congregation. be-
fore dispensing, held church meeting
and unanimously reduced the mans sal
airy from 5000 to 81, 500"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-12-22

The subject of the picture accompany
ing this article will be recognized at a
glance by every horseman in this section
of the country, and in it they Will at thls
time find a lot of sentiment.
The figure of the man is that of'James
Morrow. the veteran trainer and driver of
race horses, who died at the Homeo-
pathic Hospital a week ago, and whose
remains now lie in a soldiers grave In
Arlington cemetery.
The horse in the picture is Bedworth'
jr., fifteen years old, whose record Is
2.O614. the fastest PAGER or trotter ever
bred in Maryland. and who eight years
ago took the worlds stallion record for
three heats over half-mile track, but
whose racing career is apparently also
about closed. Bedworth, jr, is owned by
Mr.. John F. Javins of this city.
James Morrow. in point of age and con-
tinuous service in the trotting horse field.
was one of the most remarkable men
ever known to the American turf, and at
the time he was removed TO the hoSpltal
was the oldest man actively engaged IN
training and driving race horses in the
United States, If not in the world.
Mr.. Morrow was seventy-three years
old, and from the time he was n1teen,
with the exception of the period he spent
as a volunteer in the civil war. until two
weeks ago. when he was seized with the
ailment-blood poisoning-that resulted In
his DEATH he was constantly employed IN
training and driving. He drove his first
race at Woodstock, ILL.,, fifty-five years
ago. and last one at BrlghtWood -FOUR
weeks ago. His final drive in race
was behind the pacing gelding Jublanta,
216L, when he met Fred Wilkes, 2.1914,
in a match. Mr.. Morrow won in staight
heats with Jubilanta.
X
Mr. Morrow came to Washington
thfrty-four years ago and made this city
his home until he died. He was known to
racing men north south, east and west.
He was devoted to his calling, and was
conceded to have few equals and no su-
perior in the way of preparing horses for
fast track work. He was also an expert
race reinsman, and no man ever sat in a
sulky with more dignity, ease and grace
than he did. In his younger days he
raced in company with such famous driv-
ers as Budd Doble and Dan Mace, when
Dexter. Goldsmith Maid. Lucy and Amer
lean Girl were the trotting celebrities of
the world.
The older of the local horsemen all re-
member Mr.. Morrow's advent to the Ma
tional capital-some with amusement and
others Win CndSTlN- IL was III 1911,
shortly after the Brightwood track was
opened. that he. then a stalwart, hand
some man, drove into the yard and asked
for a stall for his horse. He had never
been seen there before, and the manner
lin which he cared for the animal at
tfacted attention and created the idea
that the horse was valuable one. Cues
&ioned about him. Mr.. Morrow admitted
Mat he was fairly good trotter, but
fade no claim of great speed for him.
IL Nl.f
Of the horse was William Penn.
In those days there was bunch of
liyeN sports who lounged around Bright
>~ood, always with an eye open for easy
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-12-22
Good Cause for Tears.

Harry Lauder, the comedian and golfer,
was describing at dinner in New York
a great golf professional.
But he is ugly" Mr.. Lauder said.
Dear me, he is ugly. He is as ugly as
that medieval sultan who had all the
mirrors removed from his palace, so that
he might avoid the pain of seeing his own
face.
This sultan called on his grand vizier
one day, and by accident happened to
catch sight of his reflection. His hideous-
ness overpowered him, and he broke into
violent sobbing. In this outburst the
vizier joinedD
Finally the sultan Gained down, wiped
his eyes. got ready to smoke and talk:
But not SO the vizier. He sobbed on and
on. His master, tapping his slipper I'M
patiently on the cushions, waited for him
to cease.
Eat length the sultan got angry and
exclaimed:
".Why do you weep longer than I,
vizier?
"'Alasr the grand vizier replied, you
wept, o commander of the faithful. be-
cause you saw your face but for an in
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-12-22
Reflections of a Bachelor.

From the New York Press.
Liquor would gag a man IL he was
taking it for his liver.
l. takes a long time to get acquainted
with all the reasons why you cant be
good.
A girl can fool herself into believing
she is in love when she only wants
new gown.
A woman believes she is happily mar
rieG when it would please her friends to
know she wasn't.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-12-22
Mark Twain on Prohibition.

Crossing the Atlantic with Mark Twain
last summer" said w. c. T. u woman,
II asked his opinion of the prohibition
law. His reply was very characteristic.
very humorous.
I am friend Of temperance and want
it to succeed he said, but don't think
prohibition is practical. The Germans.
you see. prevent it. Look at them. 1 am
sorry to learn that they have just in
vented method of making brandy out
of sawdust Now, what chance will pro-
hibition have when a man can take
ripsaw and 60 out and get drunk with
fence rail? What is the good of prohi-
bition if a man is able to make brandy
smashes out of the shingles on his roof.
or if he can get delimium tremens by
drinking the legs off the kitchen chairs? I"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-12-22
Riding VS.. Exercise.
From Fry's Magazine.

FrOm Fly 5 MHgdZIHe.
OF all forms of exercise calculated to
promote general fitness / believe that rid
ing is the best. With all the training for
track athletics and foot ball and sundry
other pursuits l ever went through. l was
never quite so fit in my life as at the end
of six weeks during which l went every
morning for an hour before breakfast to q
cavalry riding school in London.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-12-22
What Rube waddell Retained.

OF all the base ball players who have
broken into the big league in the past
twenty years and longer. perhaps there
has never been one who could make the
money fly like Waddell
Old writer's refer to the days of King
Kelley and the crowd he herded with as
being the real candy kids when 1t came
to earning for ones self the title of good
fellow, which means just the reverse of
the appellation, as so many misguided
bitter sorrow. ~.
But Waddell as a spender is certainly
revelation, and good many of the
differences which have arisen between
himself and Connie Mack have been
brought about through Mack's insisting
upon the recalcitrant Waddell saving his
money.
But though wise a diplomat as Mack
is. he has found that it is away beyond
him when it comes to making any money
saving impression on the big fellow with
the strong arm.
letics last fall Connie got RUDE to one
side, and laying his hands upon the
lively lads shoulder he began to talk to
him about the coming winter and the
wisdom Of his laying aside some money.
But the talk passed by Waddell as
water does off ducks back, and as he
airily swept out of the clubhouse grounds
Mack shouted after him:
Yes, you'll perhaps be sorry some day
for the money you are now throwing
away, but it's no good of talking 70 you,"
added Connie, because you can't keep
anything"
Forget it." cried Rube "Why, Connie,
he continued. as he twirled his bat about
on his fingers, II once had the itch ard
L kept 1t for seven years"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-12-22
The Greenhorn Cook.

Col. George Harvey Of New York dis
cussed at a recent dinner his views about
the dieting Of fat husbands.
There are too many fat husbands, I
maintain 1t stoutly." he said. IF the
weight of these men were brought down
to the right standard. they and their
wives would be happier. Diets the
thing
Col. Harvey smiled.
1.-THE diet need not be unsavory," he
resumed; land speaking Of unsavory
things, 1 recall a certain greenhorn cook.
This greenhorn cook lived with one of
the leading families of my native
Peacham. On Christmas day, as soon
as the burning Christmas pudding had
been portioned out, a general cry of
horror rose from the Christmas feasters.
and the cook was summoned from the
kitchen.
Martha said the mistress sternly,
what on earth have you done to this
pudding?
Martha shook her head in bewildered
and hurt innocence.
"'Why, nothin'. num- said she, only
I split the brandy We give me. an so l
poured kerosene over 1t instead. Won't 1t
burn right?'"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-12-22

the secret of hotels as visitors, not as
residents. The hotel is place of passage
as the home is of permanence; the one is
the exact antithesis of the other
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-12-22
A Strong Hint.

Miss Laurence Alma Tadema, the
famous English painters daughter. talked
at dinner in New York about happiness.
On this subject the brilliant young lady
is an authority.
They are not happy" said Miss Alma
Tadema, who long for things they should
not have. I heard the other day Of a
woman of this class.
"She is a bankers wife. and the hard
times here have straitened her husbands
resources not little. Hence the coming
of Christmas with its costly gift-glv1ng,
has worried the poor man greatly.
"At dinner the other night he said to his
wife with feigned unconcern:
.Brownstone, I fancy, won't spend
money at his accustomed rate this Christ
mas. 1 wonder what he'll give Mrs. B. 2
OF happen to know was the quick
answer.
".Do you? What is it. then?'
".A set Of Russian sables and a Ii
mousine car. You see.' said the lady
significantly, Mr.. Brownstone asked my
advice, and told him what should like
myself"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-12-22
Eddie Foy and the Flatiron.

OF Eddie Foy it is everywhere being
said that he will play Hamlet next sea-
son.
Interrogated on this interesting matter.
Mr.. Foy said in restaurant:
"Foy as Hamlet, Ell? Well. ! think I'd
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-12-22
The Proud Young Father.

A clever witticism was attributed the
other day in Washington to the Pres
ident.
A young man. the story goes, during a
call at the White House, told the Pres
ident that he had been married ten months
before and was already the father of
boy.
II congratulate you" said the Pres
ident. 81 am sure you find It pleasanter
to be loving sire than a signing lover"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-12-22

slant; but I see 1t all day and every
day."
Grab.
Gen. Booth, on his last visit here" said
a supporter of the Salvation Army, con-
demned the modern Christmas spirit He
said 1t was too much a spirit of grab.
HE illustrated his meaning with the
help of a small boy.
Meeting this boy one Christmas morn
ing, Gen. Booth patted him on the head
and said:
"'Well my son, how did you fare this
Christmas?'
Fine, the boy replied. I done bet
tern all my brothers an sisters put to-
gether.'
How did that happen?' asked the
"I got up three hours before they did.
said the boy"
A Tip-Topper.
At a holiday banquet in the French
colony of Chicago furrier said Of the
Due de Chaulnes, who is to marry Miss
Theodore Shonts:
1.-The Due de Chaulnes,' she said, has
naut and a famous aristocrat. He is
very aristocratic, SO very exclusive, In
fact, that young and beautiful marquise
made famous mot about him.
1.-The Due de Chaulnes,' she said, has
such an enviable social position that we
may say of him that he is invited every
where and goes nowhere
A Dubious Compliment.
James ]. Hill during recent visit to
Kansas City said of certain rise in stock
quotations.:
ut looks well, but I I'm afraid it is
dubious. Yes, 1t is dubious. 1t reminds
me of the Turkish bashaw and his wife.
"a Turkish bashaw lay dying He sum-
moned to him the youngest and fai st of
his forty-six wives, and said to her in
low, weak voice:
"'Put on your richest costume, your
most brilliant jewels. Deck your hair
with pearls and brighten your tinger-tips
with henna'
1.-The young wife blushed. Even IN her
grief she was f1attered.
"'And why, my lord she said, do you
desire me to make this sumptuous toilet?'
$50 that death, when he comes the
man replied, seeing you so very beauti-
full, may perhaps carry lou off instead
Of me.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-12-22
Lest Santa Overhears.

A story about Florence Nightingale, the
Crimean nurse, was told at the Colony
Club in New York by a woman journal
list.
when visited Miss Nightingale in her
London house last year." she said,
though eighty-six years old. she had a
mind as clear as my own. A little girl
was calling on her. She was very fond of
children. She told me that this little girl
believed very profoundly in Santa Claus.
80 great, she declared. was the little
girls belief in Santa Claus that when, a
few days before Christmas, she was
naughty and they told her she had better
be careful or Santa Claus might not visit
her on Christmas morning, she frowned
reproachfully and exclaimed in a loud
voice:
Hush! You need not say it so near
the chimney"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-12-22
HUMOROUS STORIES TO DIGEST.

handle Hamlet about the way the servant
girl handled the flatiron. Listen to the
story. and remember that 1 am cast for
the girl, while Hamlet is the iron.
On bitter night of late December a
kind mistress said to her servant girl: e
Jenny, it's frightful night. 1t pres
ages white Christmas. And there's no
fire in your room. 1 think, child, you'd
better take f1atiron to bed with YOU
Do we think so. ma'am" says Jenny,
doubtfully.
Ives. do says the mistress, very
kind and firm. I insist on it. Don't for
get
Very well. ma'am,' said Jenny, in a
sullen voice.
The next morning the cold was terrible
The landscape was iron-bound with frost
Well, Jenny said the mistress, did
you take that fatiron to bed with you, as
I ordered?
Yes, ma'am.' Jenny answered.
And how did you make out with it?'
oh, $685. said Jenny; I think I got
1t almost warm before morning."
he Came Back at Her.
]. Mckee Borden. secretary of New
York's department Of charities, was talk
ing at dinner about beggars.
Many Of these men. of course" he
said, ARE humbugs, and we do well to re-
fuse their requests for help. What ex-
cellent digs. though, they sometimes give
US in return.
II remember the case of a farmer
wife who refused tramp a nights iodg-
ing.
Well. then. ma'am.', said the tramp
would you mind If I slept in that big
meadow there behind your barn"
No said the woman, you may sleep
there If you like
One thing more, ma am said the
tramp, before 1 say goodnight Will
you please have me called at sharp? |
want to catch the cattle train to mar
lat