Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1907-05-18

/ zone just LIS reverse Oh WH6I IN
tended The roll-call went on. and ]
sat debating with myself. Prudence
inclination, the natural timidity Of
youth, the utter futility Of opposition,
fear, above all else. fear-these join
ed In bidding me let my vote stand
az cast On the other side stood my
notion Of selfrespect. felt i must
then and there and for ever decide
whether | was a thing or a man. Yet,
again and again | had voted for meas
ures just as corrupt--had voted for
them with no protest beyond a cyni-
cal shrug and wry look Every man,
even the LATEST, if he is to continue
to count as one" must have a point
where he draws the line beyond which
he will not go. The liar must have
things he will not lie about, the thief
things he will not steal, the compro-
miser things he will not compromise.
the practical man of the pulpit. in
politics. in business, in the profes-
sor's chair or editorial tribune, things
he viii not sacrifice, whatever the
cost That is practical honor" /
had reached my line of practical
honor, my line between possible com
promise and certain decentralization.
And ! realized IT.
When the roll-call ended / rose
and in voice that ! knew was firm
and clear said: Mr.. Speaker, /
voted in the negative by mistake. /
wish my vote to be recorded in the
Affirmative / am against the bill L."
Amid a fearful silence | took nv
seat With suddenness that made
me leap, a wild and crazy assembly
man, noted as the crank of that ses.
sion, emitted a fantastic yell OF en-
thusiastic approval. Again there was
that silence; then the tension of the
assembly, floor and crowded galleries.
burst forth in a storm OF historical
laughter
wish i could boast how brave
felt as ] reversed my vote. how In
different to that tempest of mockery,
and how strong as ! went forth to
meet my master and hear my death
warrant But / can't, in honesty-Pm
only a human being, not a hero, and
these are my confessions, not my
professions. So ! must relate that,
though the voice that requested the
change of vote was calm and cour-
ageous, the man behind 1t was agi-
tated and sick with dread. There NAV
be those who have the absolute cour-
age some men boast-if not directly.
then by implication in despising him
who has ii not. For myself, | must
say that ! never made a venture-and
my life has been succession of ven
lures, often with my whole stake upon
the table, never made a venture
that ! did not have a sickening sensa-
ton at the heart My courage, IL it
can be called by SO sounding a name.
has been in daring to make the throw
when every atom of me was shrek.
ing: You'll lose! You'll be ruined!"
did not see Dominick until after
supper. had nerved myself for q
! had been hoping he
would insult me- When one lacks
the courage boldly to advance along
the perilous course his intelligence
counsels, he is lucky II he can and
will goad some one into kicking him
along 1t past the point where retreat
is possible. Such methods of advance
are not dignified, but then, is life dig
nified? To my surprise and alarm,
Dominick refused to kick me into
manhood. He had been paid and the
$77 900, in bills of large denomination,
were warming his heart from the in
ner pocket of his waistcoat. So he
came up to me scowling, but friendly
Why didn't you tell me you want
ed to be let off, Haryey?" he said re-
I'D "a done it, Now,
damn you. you've put me in place
where I've got to give you the
whip"
To flush at this expression from
Dominick was a hypocriticaf refine
ment of sensitiyeness. To draw my
self up haughtily, to turn on my heel
and walk away-that was the Stiffness
of boy. Still, | am glad 1 did both
these absurd things. When | told
my mother how | had ruined myself
in politics she began to cry-and
tears were not her habit Then she
got my fathers picture and kissed it
and talked to it about me, just as if
he were there with us; and for a
time l felt that l was of heroic stat
ufe.
But as the days passed. with no
laurels in the form of cases and fees
and as clients left me through fear Of
Dominicks power, | shriveled back
to human size and descended from
my pedestal. From the ground-leNel
l began again to look about the mat.
ter-of-fact world.
saw / was making only a first
/lNsMsr ~ TSNzgb IL