The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-05-03
DRIFT W OOD
pv puu. H ARMsTRONG.
A Brainstorm. .

Brainstorm.
 Willie struck & match and dropped f Right inside an auto car: Up 1t went and nothing stopped it. No one thought 'twould go so far. Willie now will have to cease his Tricks. a fact that's sad. but truei In the morning they found pieces Of the car and Willie too.
 Cleveland Plain Dealer.
 H. Mary struck a match and dropped it Right inside the cooking range Then poured kerosene upon It. The result Is not so strange. Mary thought the roof went flying The noise was like a Russian bomh, In the morning all they found
 Was hair pin and some chewina
 gum.
 An, There. There never was but one model hus- band in the world, and Eve had him" Well. Harry Thaw had a model wife"
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 Let Us Hike. Let us hike away off some place. Where there ain't no smoke or noise Where the tall cat-tails are noddine And we can rOmp again like boys. Where the wild birds are a singin' Of their everlasting tunes And the maidens cheeks are redder Than the roses of 'the tunes. Where they have real milk and butter Table cloths as white as snow: Where it's all fresh air Lnd sunshine: Let us hike away and go.
 Broken Reflections.
 Nobody laughs when we stunbla over success.
 There would be more last words of great men if it wasn't that often their wives are present. # B B
 "A Seeing the Pole Ship" Is the latest freak of the American Arctic Eplorer. souvenir post cards.
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 All the worlds a stage and there are a good many stage frights. g s E
 You can lock up your doors and win. dows to keep out burglar. but ths devil gets in even when there are wea- their strips.
 Flattery is a good deal like canned goods; you can't always judge the con- tents by the label.
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 Some girls make up their minds to get married, but lot of them make up their faces Terrible Mistake. whats this: the paper says "A Coun- try Editor Turns up His Nose Because | ~ Years in Advance"
 Hold on-that's a typographical er- TOT. It should have read: Turned uu His Toes" Strenuous. Does the old man take any physical l culture%'
 "well, er-iust before supper he plays | checkers for exercise" & g. & Ouch! | The boy sat on the burning deck Whence all but him had fled. Twas one of these moonlight excur< sions-
 On his breast y yas sa Ggrl.' ss head. 1 "An old soldier wants to marry Cars well that's just what 1t would take" s g s Now don't any city brag of diamond robberies unless they want to incur ths hatred of Houston. who thinks she | holds the record in that line. F F ss | Changes. 1 O course I know that kicktn' is tns worst thing you kin do, An pride myself I never &int no But yew see I'm sum ole fashionee-- jes as plain as sum ole shoe An I hate new things thet old things warp an twist, When yer send yer gals teF college now heightened, they try ter be- Maggies changed to "Margurite" and l Mary to Marie" l Gosh ding new fangled ways an all | new fangled furls an frills. Gimme good ole fashioned folks an Then Few didn't send a gal away ter
 learn head splittin' trilIs. Her mot mSthSr Srz taught her in the twi- Now it's conservetory--Germ
 teacher don't you see Where Maggies changed to Marguer-
 ite and Mary to Marie" We'll. well. the silver dollar it ainI
 changed bit find. | Them colleges accept it as 1t Is. | Fer the one who puts the cash up 10 the old dad left behind He must keep quiet-to pay up is his | biz. | Butw hen his babes wuz baptized he 1 little thought did he | That aMggie d change to ''Marguer.
 ite land Mary to