Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1907-09-14

| secretary to some Goldheld Million
aire some time in the future
Conkling has to bear the burden OF
arranging social functions, receiving
| official callers and leading them into
the Presence, etc. He has even
learned what II means when caller
hands out card with one corner
turned up. Marshal Hendry is the
man. who explained this little detail
! TO him.
But the getting out of lists of 200
and 1900 and select twelves," etc,
| has become WEAKNESS to his soul and
q thorn in his flesh. lie has made
! he discovery. which Is not strictly
new, that no man can please every
body.
=. He learned ~ few things in getting
out the invitations for the big affair
at the Young Hotel tonight. In invit-
ing so many guests It is impossible
that all those invited, and their condi-
lion of married or single blessedness
should be known 70 the Clerk. the Sec
rotary or the Governor. so some mis-
takes have been made which are
amusing.
John Smith, for instance, receives
an invitation addressed to Mr.. and
Mrs. John Smith. There being no Mrs.
John Smith. John feels that he has
q kick coming. Peter Brown gets an
Invitation bearing only his own name,
and Mrs. Peter Brown promptly goes
up In the air and says she has been
purposely snubbed. And she won't go
nor let Peter go.
Or Bill Jones receives an invitation
addressed 10 Mr.. Bill Jones and lady,
the secretary not being sure whether
Bill is the possessor of wife or not
and wishing TO be on the safe side
And Bill writes an indignant note and
wants to know why in the duece he is
insulted.
Oh, it's a picnic all right, this being
the social arbiter of Honolulu.
My faith in the moral standards Of
the police department was given sad
shock the other day. During the last
campaign had heard great paeans of
praise on the great goodness of the
ton. and / had expected that the
hordes of my Democratic friends
. whom would see In Office when
Iaulkea took the helm would be like
unto Caesars wife.
And then the other day Fred Weed,
the court officer who was Installed
because of his leather-lunged services
III the Democratic campaign, was
, called as a cho-fa expert.
shades of Willie Crawford"
thought /. "This must be a terrible
mistake.
But 1t was not. The genial Fred
too the witness stand and testified UNI
der oath that he was familiar with the
game of che-fa and that he had often
{ played It, He said that he had played
, II last October. - and last Oc-
r tober the reform campaign was at its
, height with this same Fred as one OF
the loudest denouncers of police
|, force which would allow chc-fa to
/ flourish. o Temporal. mores
4, This temperance campaign they are
, starting here makes me think oI
Maine, and that of course includes oul
old friend Captain Drew, commander
4 of the bark Rithet. He's from the
| t.I ah
s. stinencc down In Maine. Drew can
4 tell you how hard Il Is for Maine
= man from California to get a drink
v anywhere from Gastlnes to Water
= Vile. Ordinary men die by the way
q side from thirst. There are other true
stories he tells. Among them is tho
v. tale of Uno beer, special bran(
@ known to the prohibition State. They
/, found a man with Uno beer on hii
!, premises the other day down In
: Maine" and they hauled him to jail
!, us they have right to do down. there
. Meanwhile they sent the two quarts
! of Uno beer off to the State food com
/ missioner or something like that, n
: Bowdoin college. The beer was ana
n lyzed. And 1t was found to contain
n two drops of real whislSey-two drop
!, of real whiskey In two quarts of Un'
ii beer. The man stays in jail-just 70
~ that. Now they are trying to figur
= out how many times man woul'
have to get waterlogged before h
p could possibly become intoxicated OF