davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02

of General Grant, have grown pale
and haggard at the prospect OF dis
playing their riding skill before a
committee Of the general board of the
army. When a man reaches 50 years
of age and 800 pounds in weight at
about the same time. he is apt to look
at a horse with considerable trepida.
ton, not to say dismay. There are a
lot of these sleek gentlemen in the
service who never dreamed that they
would be called out to do a circus
turn before the admiring populace,
and they view with alarm this turn in
events.
President Roosevelt is quoted as
saying that there ehall be no more
Skaters in the army. He looks with
disfavor upon any officer who has to
be lifted on his horse with a derrick
and dashed there during maneuvers.
The head Of the army has looked his
officers over and he has decided that
horseback riding would be good for
them. AS a rule these high officers
are not built for speed. They tend
toward equatorial expansion, and
while they may know all there is to
learn about war. it is q deplorable
fact that they couldn't keep up with a
firing line except in a dray. So the
heavyweights are to be called out and
put through their PAGES, and trots and
gallops. That there will be tremend-
Gus humping and bobbing and agon.
lied grimacing there is no doubt.
According to a writer in the New
York Evening Post, the course at
Fort Myer is to be five times to the
cemetery al Arlington and back. 1t
is to be expected that many Of the
heroes of this dash will prefer to re.
main at the Arlington. The surviv-
ors, however, will form in line on the
Fort MyerIdrill grounds and perform
a dazzling series OF world-surpassing
feats OF equine ground and lofty
tumbling. After that those who have
not fallen victims to apoplexy will
gallop scrossl the grounds at full
speed, picking up a dozen handker-
chiefs from the grass without tumbl.
ing of. According to the same au-
thority those above sixty will be re.
quired 10 ride bareback, to cross over
from one horse to another at a gallop,
and to mount while jumping q hurdle.
That this will be q most interesting
exhibition there is no manner OF doubt.
We are informed that the Red Gross
fret aid corps will be on hand, and
that thei balloon engineers will be
lowering over the scene to rescue
catapulted officers who are shot so
high 10 the air they can't find the way
back. In this connection there is
food for thought in the fact that Sec
rotary Taft will he 10 the Orient
when the order goes into effect. He
will thus escape the ordeal for this
year, at least. 1t is said, however,
that the prize brewery mount of Mil
waukee has been imported and is be-
ing trained at Fort Riley for the use
OF MIR. Taft next year. This sturdy
animal is being loaded with cannon
every day, in the hope that he will be
in condition when the secretary O.
war wants him.-Kansas City Jour
nal.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02
A JOLT FOR THE VETERANS.

Because Of q recent order requiring
certain army officers to report at iudi.
Gated posts for examination in horse
manship, there is terror and anxiety
throughout the service. Staid and
pompus major generals who have been
relying on their records for bravery
at the banquet board for many years,
and who haven't been astride q horse
since the last inspection held in honor
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02

Helpless.
rise up in the morning.
And to myself I say,
mo use in fooling longer.
I'll master fate today"
Then primed with resolutions
l HE me to the town,
And it's not many minutes
Before fate has me down.
look on circumstances
And readjust my hold.
They seem. as l observe them.
Quite easily to mold.
But as l grasp them firmly
To turn them round about
They find my solar plexus
And l am down and out.
! 60 out on a journey
And meet a self made man.
He tells me 1t Is easy.
That he has found a plan:
But still when l endeavOr
His methods to apply.
Though in his steps l follow.
Results are always shy.
Though some men. in a measure
Their destinies may mold.
I miss the combination
And lose my strangle hold.
They may by heavy thinking
Their luck for better shift
only can sit helpless
And with the current drift.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02

Could See Through Him.
"She is a great mind reader"
"Yes?"
"When a tramp knocks at her door,
she always knows that he wants pie"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02
Improving Right Along.

Improving Right Along.
"He is very much taken up with the
study Of astrology."
'Is he improving in it,"
Eyes. noticeably. Last year he could
only predict tidal waves, and this year
he has no trouble at all in predicting
earthquakes"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02

Hot Air.
The breezes blow
Both warm and slow:
It's hot as blazes,
Don't you know,
In dog days.
The crickets Groom
A rhythmic tune,
And in the moonlight
Lovers spoon
In dog days.
We watch the date
And shave our pate
And for the cooler
Weather wait
In dog days.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02

Nobody wants to fight unless he
thinks lie can win.
1t is Il wise thing to have a good
time in this world if you have any
leaning that way at all.
We all like to lead, but not clear
out of sight. not by any means
Most Of us have to worry either
about the income or the outgo.
AS long as we are not baldheaded all
is not lost.
A friend usually feels that he is not
living up to his immortal privilege un-
less he is handing out perfectly good.
because never used, advice.
Cut rates on divorces ought to look
good to bargain hunters.
We are apt to he at odds with our
selves when we are trying to get even
with our enemies.
Cast your bread upon the water and
It may come back to you in the shape
Of a fat carp.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02
Humor ona Philosophy
By DUNCAN NJ. Smith
PERT PARAGRAPHS.

Most women are fond of some men.
A wholesome. Industrious person is
generally too busy to he specially fool
ishly proud al anything.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-02

Natural Consequences.
HE is full Of prunes."
"What could you expect? He has
lived three years in a boarding house."
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-01-10
KANSAS IN THE CENTER.
Prof. Hewitt Tells Why People Should
Be Interested in Archaeology.

Prof E. L. Hewitt Of the Smithson-
ian university of Washington gave an
interesting lecture last night at Wash
burn chapel on the subject of AN
cient Mexico The lecture was Illus
trated with stereopticon views which
were exceptionally clear and strong.
The views dwelt with the ruins of the
ancient Mexico and extended back to
the earliest days of the cliff dwellers.
The large huts of the cliff jewellers,
which were but large grooves cut into
huge rocks, were among the most in
teresting views which we're shown A
fact that was new to most people
which was presented by DR.. Hewitt
was that the early Mexicans were the
builders of large pyramids, some of
which from an architectural stand
point rivaled the largest and grandest
pyramids of early Egypt. One of the
pyramids, which is known as the
Pyramid of the Sun, covers over 1900
square feet of ground and is an i'm
posing sight. Most of these pyramids
flourished in the neighborhood of the
isthmus of Tehauntepec. Other OBJ
jects of interest which were shown
were the sculpture and even the cos
tunes of the early inhabitants of
Mexico.
Prof. Hewitt has just returned from
a tour of Mexico where he spent sew
eral months in collecting the material
for his lecture and last night was one
of the first lectures he has delivered
Prof. Hewitt before commencing his
lecture proper dwelt at length upon the
object of the American Institute of
Archaeology of which he is a represen-
tative. He stated that an attempt
would be made in the near future for
the extended study of archaeology in
the United States and told of the ex
cellent opportunities of the people in
Kansas to make a study of the early
conditions of the country as Kansas oc-
cupies a central place in the archaeo-
logy of America.
DR.. ]. c. McClintock presided at the
meeting of the society and made plea
for members of the Topeka society. In
order to become a member. of the
american institute it is necessary to
have membership of 30 members.
The Topeka society still lacks 10 of that
number. At the present time Topeka
is branch of the Kansas City society.
A membership fee of SO is required
Tor membership. Other lectures on
subjects connected with archaeology
Will be given later.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-01-10
A BANKERS NERVE
Broken by Coffee and Restored by
Postum.

A banker needs perfect control of the
nerves and a clear, quick, accurate
brain A prominent banker of Chatta-
nooga tells how he keeps himself in
condition:
up to II years of age I was not al
lowed to drink coffee, but as soon as I
got out into the world I began to use it
and grew very fond of it. For some
years 1 noticed no bad effects from its
use, but in time it began to affect me
unfavorably. My hands trembled, the
muscles of my face twitched, my men
tai processes seemed slow and 10 other
ways my system got out of order These
conditions grew SO bad at last that ]
had to give up coffee altogether.
My attention having been drawn to
Postum Food Coffee, I began its use
on leaving off the old kind, and 1t gives
me pleasure to testify to it's value. i
find 1t a delicious beverage; like it just
as well as 1 did coffee, and during the
years that 1 have used Postum 1 have
been free from the distressing symp-
toms that accompanied the use of cof-
fee The nervousness has entirely dis
appeared, and I am as steady of hand
as a boy of %, though I am more than
90 years old. 1 owe all this to Postum
Food Coffee" Name given by the
Postum Co, Battle Creek, Mich.
There's a reason" Read the little
book THE Road to MELVILLE" in pkgs.
All grocers.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-01-10
BURN THE CANE.
Plan of Cubans to Cause an Increase
in Wages.

Washington, Jan. 10.-As a result
of the sugar cane BURNING, which oc-
Cured recently near Ranchuelo, Santa
Clara province, Cuba, Captain J. A
Ryan Of the Fifteenth cavalry on duty
in Cuba, has made a report to the
chief of staff on the subject of the
method pursued in the destruction of
sugar cane as well as the methods Of
prevention. The principal reasons as
signed for the burning of cane are
that laborers thereby practically dou-
BILE their daily wages.
1t is sometimes to hasten the har-
vest; is done for the purpose of ex-
torting money; for collecting insurance
ed persons for political reasons.
Captain Ryan states that the talk
heard in the cafes in the vicinity of
sugar estates in regard to revolution
lists would lead one to believe that one
of the means applied by these revolu-
tionists to spread terror through the
land is a threat to burn sugar cane.
This" says Captain Ryan, would be
a prompt means of causing the loss
of property, but up to the present time
I'm Santa Clara province it is believed
that no sugar cane has been destroyed
by disaffected persons" 1t is general
ly denied, Captain Ryan also stated.
that the administrators of sugar es
tates pay money to protect heir fields,
but he nevertheless believes that
money is so paid.
burning of sugar cane which is insur
ed is looked upon with suspicion, and
he reaches the conclusion that such acts
are prompted by desire to make mon
ey through insurance companies. Cap
tain Ryan adds that cane very frequent
" is burned by accident, by sparks
from locomotives and with the view to
destroying poisonous weeds, but he
mention two ingenious methods OF
setting fire to cane fields. One is by
the use of a candle which is lighted
at midnight or early in the morning
BY the time it burns down to some fine
straw or dry leaves and sets fire to
the cane, the culprit has ample oppor-
tunity to escape. The other method is
to place a stick of pure PHOSPHORUS in
the center If the cane field upon COM
bustible mat. The cane is cleared away
so that the sun can shine on it,
This PHOSPHORUS is placed there at
night and as the heat of the day in
creases it approaches burning point
about noon, ignites and soon sets the
cane in the immediate vicinity on fire
Not all cane SO burned, says Captain
Ryan, is destroyed If 1t is Immediately
cut and ground. He says that mill
owners usually sidetrack all other cane
in order to grind quickly cane that has
been burned.
The method of protection used at
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-01-10
FELL UNDER A TRAIN.
Overcrowding Causes the Death of
One Man and Injury of Another.

New York, Jan. 10.-Overcrowding Of
the 161st street station of the Third ave-
nue. elevated railroad today, cost one
man his life and caused injuries to an
other which may result in his death.
The train had been filled but the crowd
on the platform pressed towards It
When the train was started those In
rush from behind, were borne against
the sides of the moving cars and rolled
and tumbled about. William f. New
man. a Bronx business man, and Carl
Wehnez, reporter, were knocked under
the moving train. Newman's body was
terribly mangled and he died instantly.
Wehnez sustained internal injuries.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-01-10

Chautauqua, because he received MS
training in early youth in brick yaro.
His advice is eagerly sought and canned
for future consumption by the otner
senators and legal experts.
The three senators who passed from
this life of politics since last session, are
not the only missing features OF the
chamber. Colonel Tom Jackson, the
Mathematical veteran of a hard war,
is not engaged in marshalling the minor
employees into some semblance or atten-
ton to business, or keeping personal
account of bills, motions and resolu-
lions. Colonel jackson. the senate en-
pIoye who worked, was killed since the
last session of the legislature A rail-
road train accomplished what several
dozen we'll meaning confederates at
tempted and while the senate was drap-
ing the desks of the three deceased
members, it should have dropped a
bunch of flowers on the desk he former
ly occupied in the clerical department
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-01-10

present and which has been in vogue
for years, says Captain Ryan, is to
have certain number of armed guards
paid by the sugar estates to patrol
their plantations. For this service men
are selected who know all the natives
in the vicinity and who will quickly de-
tect a stranger coming near the plan
tation. At present it is sta
ted the patrols of the rural
guards as we'll as the movement
of United States troops through these
plantations has a very quieting effect
both upon the owners and upon per-
sons who most desire to burn sugar
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-01-10

recommend the necessary legislation to
enable any city or village to establish
public utilities, or to acquire such as
may already exist under the power of
eminent domain, and to pay for the
same out of the proceeds of certificates
OF Indebtedness which may be a lien
on the property so accrued"
He recommended life insurance laws
to protect pOlicyholders and a law to
protect the bank depositors. He said:
In general the primary law has been
a success, and gives every indication of
accomplishing the results promised for
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-01-10

| one of the bills which will be sub
United to the legislature by the state
board of health, prohibits the sale of
undrawn fowls, game birds or fish:
And thereby the board of health will
| score. The butcher will hate awfully
| 10 remove the works from the cold,
calm bosom of the deceased hen, not
because he objects to soiling his
hands, but because these interior
decorations are great assistance in
putting the purchasing citizen on the
! right road to the poor house or the
bankrupt court. The specific gravity
1 OF the life necessities of a fowl are
| boost to the butcher toward the pur-
| chase of a brown stone shanty on
Easy avenue. The fowl will not have
! its usual weight in the maze of high
| chicken dinner habit will be the win
ner, and the poor transient will not be
| compelled to eat chicken jiblets au
jus each Monday noon at the food
| counter.
Anoher of the pure food bills which
the board desires to submit at this
time, will make it a killing offense for
a maker of baking powder to put
glass or other Injurious ingredients In
| his product without notifying the pur-
| chaser in, time to hire physician by
| the month.
Another pleasant and remunerative
| pastime the board has mapped out for
itself Is the inspection of diaries,
cheese factories and delicatessen re-
sorts. 1t desires to taste the butter
and inspect the cows for mumps,
| onionated breath and appetite. To be
sure the board will not banker to do
all this for nothing. 1t will require
several new jobs and lot of Easy
| Money.
And while others are boosting for
personal gain or worrying over the
senatorial situation, Senator Porter of
! Crawford is preparing to boost a
worthy state institution. The Manual
! Training school at Pittsburg is his
particular hobby. In years agone he
was prominent member of the
Crawford county school board, and at
| that time became saturated with the
| idea that girls should include the
parsing of pie in their grammar les
sons, the construction of non-poison-
Gus biscuits in their chemistry and
the square root of scrambled eggs in
their higher mathematics. Also that
boys should take less Latin and more
lathing,-in fact, enough of mechanics
to enable them in after years to
straighten a bent poker without tax
ing 1t to blacksmith, or nail picket
on the yard fence without cracking a
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-01-10
EEWIs.sINGLE BINDER
1sTRAleHT 6$cIcAK ma de q
EXTRA QUALIN1OBACM

rest of the sons, who weren'e 1Awor-
ties, including a daughter or two,
wouldn't have II that way and went
to law about It They paid out $4,000
in fees and costs, and finally compro-
missed and got 81 cents each How
much were they out Of pocket7 How
much did the lawyers get1
A grocer buys chest Of tea weaxh-
ing 80 pounds and pays for It at the
rate Of "a cents a pounds. He sells
20 pounds of 1t for so cents q pound,
and the balance at the rate Of 20 cents
a pound. What were his prof1tsr
(T.his is the same grocer who said that
he'd have to go into the blaclrSnaith
business to make a Mv1ng.)-M. Quad.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-01-10
LOBBY IS SHUT OUT.
Illinois Legislature Turns Over a New
Leaf.

Springfield, Ill, Jan. 10.-Speaker
Shurtleff announced to the house TO-DAY
that during the next session or the leels-
Iature none but members, ex-mempers,
congressman and others privileged by
the rules to come upon the floor or the
house would be allowed that privilege.
The speakers intention to keep out
members on both sides.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-01-10
SOME MENTAL ARITHMETIC.

James goes to the grocery after a
quart of molasses. On his way nome
he meets seven poor but worthy boys
about his own age, and in the good
ness of his heart permits each one of
them to absorb a gill of the sweet stuff.
How much remained in the jug when
he reached home, and how long d1o
it take his mother to hustle him into
the Woodshed?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-01-10
AUTOMOBILE NOTES.

The Imperial Automobile club of Ger
many announces that the emperor has
agreed that the race for touring cars in
the Taurus mountains for the prize Of
fered by his majesty shall be held on
June II next.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-01-10

If a housewife buys boy Of straw
berries supposed to hold a quart ana
finds the bottom showed one-third of
the way UP to the top, what quantity
remains in the box? If the same ped
dIer comes around next day and she
talks to him at the rate of one hun
bred words a minute, how much Tune
will she consume in uttering one thou
sand words?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-01-10

If one puppy dog can shake half
pint of sawdust out of one little g1rI'
doll, how many puppies and little girls
dolls will it take to shake out enough
saWdust to fill barrel?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-01-10
SAID He WAS SORRY.
Church Is HANGED for the Murder of
His Foster Parents.

Warranton, Mo, Jan. 1O.-William E.
Church was hanged here this morning for
the murder of his foster parents, Mr.. and
Mrs. H w. Yeater. on August 30, 1903.
church strangled to death. Upon ascend
ing the scaffold he expressed regret at
having killed his foster parents.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-01-10
Bishop Duncan

Nashville. Tenn, Jan. 10.-Bishop
Duncan of M. E. church, south, is critl-
cally i'll at Spartanburg, s. CT, follow
ing an operation for a carbuncle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-01-10
How to Cure Chf1blaina.

ITO enjoy freedom from chiibiains. %
writes John Kemp, East Otisheld. Ne.
also used 1t for salt rheum with excellene
results" Guaranteed to cure fever sores,
indolent ulcers. piles. burns, wounds frost
bites and skin diseases. 26c at Arnold
Drug Co. drug store.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-01-10

w A. Frederick company of the Motor
Mart, agents for the American, has
taken the agency for the Detroit a 22-24
horse power with double opposed motor
under the hood, selling at a moderate
price. The car has IS inch wheel base
and roomy body and weighs less than
1900 pounds.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-01-10

The Maharajah of Alwar in India, af-
glish and French machines has selected
an Oldsmobile touring car for his per-
sonal use. He recently made a tour of
something like 700 miles in three days.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-01-10

thumb nail The result Of his efforts
to improve the youth of the state
along these lines, is the Manual Train
ing school. Two years ago he bump
ed the state for funds sufficient to
start the good work, and the exhibit
ton of heightened cookery shown at
the recent State Teachers association
meeting in Topeka, proves that the
money was not expended in vain. 1t
is worth much to the state to preserve
the lives and appetites of the coming
married men, and such being the case
IT is polite to boost the school which
teaches the coming wives of the state
to construct non-poisonous pie and
hem napkins.
Senator Belts has introduced bill
making an appropriation to protect the
Topeka reform school" According to
stories which have been brought from
its dismal depths by escaped prisoners
the bill should have the words, inmates
Of inserted between the sixth and
seventh words of the title.
The senator from Sedan is still in
good voice. His hair is a little more
seldom than in former years, but as he
is still under the rim of fifty, he is
good for several years to come, and
NAV have hair enough to part in the
middle when he runs for governor in
1916.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-01-10

The offices of the Automobile Club of
America have been removed to the new
club house on West Fifty-fourth street
New York. The entire club house, how
ever. VIII not be ready for occupancy I'M
til the first of March.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-01-10

Governor Curtis Guild, Jr of Massa-
chusetts in his inaugural address advo-
Gates an additional tax on motor cars
proportionate to horse power, the entire
proceeds to be devoted to the mainte-
nance of highways.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-01-10

In addition to the two large seats there
is a smaller one for the chauffeur or
mechanician. This seat is on level with
the floor and the occupant rests his feet
on the footboard When not in use it
swings in against the dashboard where it
is entirely out of the way