The Washington times., 1907-08-05

A new. intricate problem. beside which
the trying Of an irritated bartender for
disorderly conduct, sinks into the mere
commonplace. is slowly but surely fore
ing itself upon Corporation Counsel
Pugh and causing his usually jovial
face TO assume an expression of worry
quite foreign to 1t. II is a problem
which has faced many corporation
counsels, but which has until lately
been invariably side-stepped. The great
and awful question Is: Is the amateur
singer liable TO the law as a nuisance7 ?
Can the gentleman. who insists at IL
o'clock that his heart in the Highlands,
and the lady, who shriliy announces
that she loves but one man only. be
placed on a par with the restive dog
and melancholy cat2 Is the unframed
human voice a nuisance liable TO pun
ishment?
Mighty Questions Rolling.
These mighty questions. the answers
10 which appear as yet 70 be as in
scrutible as the Sphinx Of Egypt. are
rolling and turning within the heated
cerebellum OF the Assistant Corporation
Counsel, and by their many different
interpretations are giving him many a
sleepless night.
His clothes Of late have been covered
with the dust and mold OF ancient ar
chives; his desk has been Uttered with
paper dating back TO the time Of Noah:
he has studied. worked and thought.
and-the answer Is not yet
Apparently, It would seem that there
could only be one answer 10 such
question, and that answer a simple one.
II would seem thar any gentleman or
lady who is so dead 10 all noble and
uplifting emotions as the amateur singer
should be quietly and unOstentatiOnsly
hanged, without any argument
Comic Song Young Men.
Who has not heard the concei,e-5
young man try his hand at a comic
song?
He is invited to a gathering Of happy.
light-hearted people: his comic song
leaves them wondering at their hollow
existence and pondering on the most
agreeable method OF suicide.
The hostess has heard somewhere that
young Jones can sing and in a moment
Of misguided hospitality asks him II he
Will not favor the company with one Of
his comic songs.
Young Jones shippers.
"A-w-w y'know,' he remarks, II
really only know one or two little things,
y know But I'm charmed, 1 assure
you"
Fearful lest some OF her guests may
miss the great treat In store for them
the hostess gathers them up one by one
and leads them to the music room,
where young Jones is hanging over the
piano with an almost imbecIle express
sion.
Doesn't Sing Well.
Il really don't sing we'll" he says In
a tone which implies that the auditors
are about 10 hear the treat OF their
lives. Il am going 20 sing BIZ Jack
son and the Bear"
Delightful" murmurs the lght-heart-
ed audience. and settles itself to listen.
The pianist, a thin, nervous woman.
wearing eyeglasses, commences a
choppy. Jerky prelude Of which young
Jones is apparently unaware At the
time and place where he is supposed TO
join in he IS just drawing in his breath
and as the pianist Is just about to give
up after having played half OF the first
verse, he lets out a loud below.
The two performers continue their
wild disturbance for some minutes and
then a hoarse voice in the back OF the
room speaks. II says:
"Oh. you ass. you're singing, Nah
Lindy Loo"
I'm not" says young Jones indig-
nantly.
Yes you are" persists the hoarse one.
Then ensUes a long argument. which
cuiminates with the hOarse gentleman
rerlarking that Il don't make so much