Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-09-21
How They Have Fallen for the
''Affinity Gag"
THE HUMORISTS SAY "FINERTY"
Then Those Comical Plays in Which
Cuss Words Are the Principal
Mirth Producers.
Special Correspondence OF The Star.

!. Special Correspondence OF The Star.
NEW YORK. September 20. 1907.
~ HIS town has gone affinity" mad.
The Earle person-that frowsylook-
| L ing near-artist with the aeolian-
| teasing shrubberyN his. face@-Mho put
away the mother of his child because he
had found his affinity'-taugnt New
Workers. that there was such a word as ''af-
tinty." Plainly. they had never heard 1t
| or of 1t before All Of the perfec iydy nov
elists since the-days- of-Jans- Austen have
| strumroed on that affinity" word-its just
| as common In emasculated literature as the
rhyming Of -iife"~with ''strife"~but when
it was sprung in the published letters OF
the dandruffy painter the wnofe- town rose
to it If itwere a dead=neW thing. The
Affinity cigar. Outrageous n'cKei
| fumero offensivlto, Is already orr the mar
ket. Over In sseis avenue you-ea annex
unto yourself Affinity sox,' three pairs for
two bits Let's make you pair OF -Affini-
| ties for 81 9S,' is-a- -sign- In a. 14th street
+ tailor shop, the 'affinities in that instance
| being pa-trotrsery~ LFtae- :. Affinity cocktail
can be had at any number of Tenderloin
bars. Needless 70 say the. ssssanny COCK
tall is honasdsstroyer Amnity SHOES
are already good ferys'beeaase they
last" says their advertiser, CThis is pretty
| Deep but you get It after awhhet
beaten to a pulp and swathed m pandases.
! appeared aga4nst---her husband. long
| shoreman, in the night court recently. her
| man had caressed her with -halezzhook be-
cause the supper wasn't ready, or some
| such pffling matter
why did you beat herr the magistrate
asked the 'longshoreman
Jaw, l can't git along wit her, was the
reply.
.Oho! she is not. your affinity, them OBJ
served the magistrate, gayly." and. OF
course, a gale of laughter swept the court
| The wife of Sheepshead Bay booknaker
| drubbed him" most royalty with a cup
couple OF evenings ago. and. being petuiaht
| about IT, the 'boo}tie had his spouse pinched
| What for did you lather him, madam:
| the same clip OF night court magistrate
asked the woman woman when el..: she came oeio'e
| him.
| We'll, he was working this affinity gag
on me. Judge. your honor, the oookle
| wine with his affinity at a hotter ana let
The indurated slangists, more shame to
| them, the frivoiers. have switched the ar.
fnity, word around OF course r,n arrni'y ia
| already the title of a knockabout sort OF
| vode- act which will reach washington
| In due time-cringe. mourners!
After ali. isn't this the easy town 10
amuse? And these Manhattanites profess
| ing to be so direfully blase. too!
| 0OSSlp VI Noy SSe'
| Gen. Bingham, New York's dem-it-aii top
COP, got back on the job after his vacation.
| He found the "foorce" attending over
rumors OF a shake-up, like the folks over
at the seed division of the Department Of
Agriculture when Congress is waileping
| that outfit The dem-dem chief hasn't
sworn in those bloodhounds yet that he's
| going to tack Oh TO the New York police
| fop THAT frail Hing but he'll Ref that
| soon. The irrepressible Devery. ex-chief.
was talking about those bioodhounds at
the Pump" the other afternoon.
| Say" he inquired out of the SOU SOU
eastern corner Of his facial orifice, who s
goln' t play Topsy? Bingham hisself?
Whats tn matter with his dom Legree
And who's goin' t be tn Ice? Hey? All
l got t say is this: Wen them blood
hounds gifts their badges an tn new show is
perduced tn dogll git dashed bum support
from tn rest o tn company!
1t Is no Joke, however. Bloodhounds
really are to be added to the New York
police force They're already building an
| addition to the Pasteur Institute In antici-
patton of 1t. and presently the department
stores will be advertising suits Of dos-proof
| armor for the children to wear on their
| way to and from school,.
| All of the new plays that I've seen thus
! far Uttered up with and damned full
Of cuss words. They like EN- over here. A
| comedy person who cant get laugh with q
| boat hook has only to emit a few d-ns
| to set 'em screeching In a New York play
| house. the word is so uncommonly humor-
mentions the regions below make 'em just
| rock back and forth in their seats in a
veritable ecstasy of mirth. The several
| western ba-ad man plays are particularly
able profanity, the shoot-'em-up Jacks Just
outdoing each other in the number Of chile
| con carne explosives they uncoil in the
| progress of the evening.
Also, several of the new shows gain the
unquenchable mirth of the people out in
| front with their gay-doggish references to
| rum. Rum seems the funniest thing to
| the Few Workers when it is mentioned by
| fusion to highball fairly makes them hold
| their sides with glee. One wonders why
| There isn't anything screamingly diverting
about highball or schooner O. malt. or
| q scuttle o suds. or crock o mixed-other
| references that gain the audiences laugh
| ter over here. Often we are tempted to
| suppose that they're afflicted with the in
growing or coneave sense-of humor over
here.
Autos as Moving Vans.
Everybody knows that there are plenty Of
| buzz wagons over here. But j never quite
appreciated how plentiful they were till
Eaw three OF Them in different parts of the
| city, engaged In moving operations yester-
| day-fat-moving operations that is. No,
they were not automobile trucks or any
| thing of that sort. They were big, hand
| some touring cars. and the furniture was
stacked up on the front and rear seats In
| fine confusion. with the usual parrot cage
| hanging perilously from the top and the
| cuckoo clock rafting around somewhere in
| side.
| OF course. there was an answer to this Gu
rious spectacle September Is more of
| moving month over here than May, and
moving vans are hard to get right now for
| h~tI oli
| ued two weeks ahead. and TO get a regular
| moving person to book you at once you've
got to give him quadruple rates. So the
| f1atters owning automobiles have just put
them to the useful purpose of moving
their stuff from the Old to the new apart
ment and 1t isn't SO foolish. after all. But
1t assuredly looks odd to see a fine. big
touring about as long a wreckng tug