The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1907-12-21
Copyright. By Joseph B. Bowiss.j

successive administrations he resent
ed as an unwarranted presumption
any effort on the part Of anybody else
to deprive him Of what he had come
to consider a life job. 1t was easy,
too, for me as an outsider to see that
there was some kind Of an under
standing between him and 81 Wother.
spoon which BODIED i'll for the captain,
unless the latter discovered the con-
spiracy in time, as indeed the result
showed when the most redoubtable
fakir Of my acquaintance went down
ingloriously before the guns Of the
enemy.
Il heerd last night" the postmaster
began. that Sam Busby's goin' to kill
that goat o. his'n."
Yes" said 81, Il met Sam up at
Bill Wither's ice cream sloon yester-
day an he told me that keepin' a goat
an a boardin' house at the same time
was a losin' proposition"
Il alters thought that goat was one
O. the most pleasin' features o. life
up at Sans place." said the postmas-
ter. HE told me last year that he'd
made two dollars a week out Of him
hirin' him out to the children"
Yes, he did, said 81. But he's
been's cranky as all git out this year.
Somebody taught him to butt, an last
week he got sort O crazy an when he
saw the cook comm up the back
stairs with a biIer full O. clam chow.
der for the mealers' lunch, he banged
him square in the stummick, an sent
him, an the clam chowder, an the
bller clatterin' backwards down the
steps into the kitchen again, an they
had all they could do scrapin' up
enough chowder to satisfy the board
ers.'
They'd ought to KEEP him out o.
the dinin' room" said the postmaster.
"Dinin' rooms amt no fit place fer
goats"
That's what they DONE said ST,
AN two days later he ambled into the
office an eat up the boarders' mail,
an then went out on the back piazzy
an butted two old maids off the porch
into the lap Of old Gen. Slatherberry,
who was lynn asleep in a big arm
chair on the lawn"
"scand'lus,g laughed the postmas-
ter.
That's what Mrs. Gen. Slather-
berry remarked as she come along an
see the party tryin' to pull 'emselves
together said 81. They had a coun-
Gil O war that afternoon an Sam was
informed that onless he showed EN-
the dead body O that goat before next
Satiddy night they'd all leave"
@Jumpin' beeswax, but that's hard
lucklD said the postmaster. After all
the keep he's give that goat to have
him turn out a dead loss!"
Keep" laughed 81. What We
talkin' about? He amt required no
keep. He's eat newspapers that no.
body wanted, an been sort Of a Twin
waste-baskit for Sans place all his
life. / don't suppose Sans spent f.
cents on his keep sence he got him.
An he amt agoin' TO be no dead loss
neither" he went on lowering his
voice to a whisper. Sam told me
there warn't no way out o. KILN
him, but he's goln' to serve him up to
them mealers for spring-lamb all
next week, an make a door-mat outen
his hide an a hat-rack of his horns
into the bargain"
well he'd ought to knowed better
than to have a goat around the place"
said the postmaster. "Ye never can
count on EN-. Where they's vim
men an children goats amt safe.
Now if he'd been a cantelope It might
have been different
That's true enough said 81, with
an uneasy glance at the captain,
They tell me them cantelopes has a
very sweet disposition--tho' ] must
say / done know much about EN-"
me neither said the postmaster.
"Fact is + never see anybody that had
ever tried to make a pet out Of a
cantelope.
when it comes down to real ex-
p~eriences in NE, you're the shyest
thing in NeN England joe, nut IN
the captain al this point. Here I've
been Twin within a half mile O. This
poas once for goln' onN2O year, breed
III cantelopes season after season, an
YET You never knowed anythin about
am.
81 indulged III a coughing fit. but
she postmaster showed himself sur
pflaingly meek under The captains
criticism.
sIldont pretend to- know e~verythin',
aptain ma a. heretofore am wiliin'
% learn. lta said. ANY information
yos may ne willin' to give on the sub.
iect Q cantelopes will be thankfully
received
gtat me see, said the captain re-
aectivaly STRIKING his beard n think