Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1907-02-15
DRIFTwOOD
BY LUE +. VERNON

Ones teeth are like verbs-reprl.
lar, irregular and defective.
A hungry sailor always wishes for
a wind that blows .JoWi and ctops
about.
If a certain young lady will per-
init, L will send around the piano
tuner at my own expense.
A wife full of truth, innocence and
love, is the prettiest flower that a
man can wear next his heart.
Mans little chunk of ice
Woman is the sun-she lets
Herself beam ON him-ah how nice
And soft he gets
Askitt-" What proof have we
that the good die young?"
knoitt-"The yarns of the old
est inhabitant.
A railway conductor may be a
thief, but when it comes to a ques-
tlon OF veracity, l will take his word
every time in preference to the
spoilers.
Ideas may come, and ideas may go,
yet it seems editor Brainerd of the
RI, will go on with his Josh Bill
llngs' idea of spelling, long as his
job holds out.
If Sunday editions of newspapers
continue to enlarge this year as was
accomplished last, a man will have
to hire some one to do his work while
he glances over them.
Bernard Shaw writes to an Amer
lean clippings bureau that he has
been cured of vanity, of curiosity,
OF ambition. Now watch and see
how long he will stay cured.
Los Angeles has had heavy rains.
Yet this fact will not lay the aver
age business mans desire in the
city of angels" from wanting more
and more of the tourists dust.
Public opinion is the greatest
force in the universe. When it ex-
erts the power that is given it by
the nature of things, the world
moves when and where it wishes.
In sorrow 1 regret, yes, exceed
ingly regret, to note the fact that
there is no kiss sign" on the key
board of type-writing machines. The
love-sick owner of the machine has
my deepest sympathy.
Count Boni de Castellane saws he
will kill himself unless his former
wife-Anna Gould-will see him.
For goodness sake let some one tie
Anna to the bed-po until the Count
makes good his declaration.
If the city dads of Seattle had any
pride for their much advertised town,
now that the old landmark, the
Third Avenue Theater, is to be torn
down, they would insist that the
City Hall of the Queen City went
with it.
Lecturing in New York, Com
mander Peary said that he had
found driftwood in the open Polar
sea which he was convinced came
from rivers flowing through an un-
mapped land somewhere to the
northwest of Greenland.
]. r. Combs, Seattle Health Inspec-
tor, has been making an inspection of
restaurants and has discovered much
filth. Prosecutions will be made.-Td.
coma Nens.
Gee! Had to make an inspection
visit on purpose. Poor Combs. Why
in h didn't he order meal?
John S. McMillin can we'll afford to
turn over his pay checks from July
lst to the time of his resignation.
Why, John, old boy, you've already
had 5000 in free advertising.
Your name is as familiar right now
in the households of the Ever
green" State as is that kitchen COM
modity-sapolio.
Don't put up with shabby neck
ties, young man. You are never too
young to think bit about your looks,
and though most folk detest the
youth whose heart is in his clothes,
instead of the place it ought to be,
it's worth money and a reputation to
keep clean and neat. When your tie
gets shabby throw it in the waste
basket and begin on another.
A lady states that she is really
sick from the effects of her next-door
neighbOr humping on a strident
piano. Only one piano? That is
nothing. There are eight pianos in
my neighborhoOd, each one out of
tune, and it frequently happens that
they are all going at once. Madam,
if you are sick, what do you sup
pose my mental and physical condi-
ton is?
Jim Hill should send a secret agent
to his Union depot in Seattle, and
have him make inquiries as to when
his train would leave, the price of
tickets and other such information as
the travelling public generally seek,
listen to the snappish, uncourteous,
uncivil and naughty answers re-
turned by the young snipes in charge
of the ticket window, then discharge
them, and fill their position with at
least-gentlemen.
Illinois has q law which the Ever
green State could well pattern after.
When a strong, able bodied man re-
fuses to support his wife and lives
off her manual labor, he is arrested
and sent to the penitentiary, and
what he earns there is contributed
to the support of his family This
would be a glorious law for some
good-for- nothing, lazy husbands in
towns of this State, whose wives
slave and take in washing to support
them.
1t is reported that a bill is to be
introduced in the Legislature declar-
ing that wife-beaters shall be pub