davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-03-13
Some Tall Chimneys.

The highest chimney in England is
that at Barlow and Dobson's mill at
Bolton. 1t is 36S feet In height, and
the material used in its construction
was 100000 bricks and 122 tons of
stone This big smokestsck is cXcelled
by at least two In Scotland. The st.
Rollox chimney In Glasgow IS AS
feet, and the Townsend chimney in the
same city is 4eS feet high, But the
steeplejacks make no more of climbing
such shafts than one Il third of their
height, though the vibration Is much
greater and more serious at times. All
chimneys yibrate, especially in gale
1t Is II condition of their safety, bun
the oscillation at the top is serious
matter for any one Mt work there
during a high wind, ana in such condi-
lions tine job Is postponed to n calmer
day Lancashire also boasts one Of
the crookedest chimneys in the world
n shaft ut Brook MILL Haywood Which
Is nearly 200 feet high and more than
six feet out of lumh 1t has been
belted with n bands and Is consid
cred safe.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-03-13
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

No nan ever landed Il particularly
easy position by trying TO dodge work.
Almost every man imagines he would
do a lot of phlanthropic stunts if he
had the money
Why is il that the people with moth
Ing 10 do but sit around and visit are
such dreadful hores?
Some people imagine that by being
impudcnt they are showing others they
are "as good as anybody"
When a father and son are in bust
ness the son can usually tell of a lot OF
mistakes his father makes.
Almost any married man can make
his friends smile by saying he is per.
fectly FREE Il do rs lie pleascs
Whea TIE earholic acid bottle finds
itself ueSt II the cough medicine on
the sheif Death stops sharpening his
seythe +, Ian hack and he merry
Atelisou Gll3zc.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-03-13

In the market place of Devices, Il
town in Wiltshire, England, there
stands Il monument erected by public
subscription as Il warning to falsitiers
and irreverent persons, 10 commence
rate the tralSe death of woman who,
according t. the inscription ON the
stone, was stricken dead rs II punish
mcnt for her blasphemy The story as
told among the country folk, is that
one of the village women, becoming in
volvcd in dispute over money with a
merchant in the Corn Exchange, called
on the Almighty. with a fearful oath,
TO strike her dead if her statement was
false. As she left the market place on
her way home She fen dead upon the
spot where the monument now stands.
her perjured gains being afterward
found in her tightly elinchcd hand.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-03-13
The Worm Eater.

Even worm holes" are no guarantee
of extreme old age in furniture, MS was
demonstrated some time ago in the law
courts, when woman came 10 excuse
her husbands absence from the court
on account of Illness What Is your
husbnndJ' asked the judge "A worm
eater. my lord. WAS the reply. "A
whati' asked the judge again Il
don't wonder he's too i'll Ia attend"
The woman then explained that her
husband WAS ST. called not because he
was addicted TO this peculiar form of
diet, but because his trade was To drill
these heles in new furniture To give
II the appearance of antiquity. London
fntlcr
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-03-13
Lord Erskine.

From midshipman TO lord chancellor
is n very far cry. Lord Erskine, how
ever, whom Lord Campbell once de
seribed AS the greatest advocate of an
cient or modern times. did not find
much difficulty in reaching the Wool
sack. although he started life rs a
mildly" aud did not settle down 10
study law until lie was twenty-five
yparS of age His defense of Captain
Ballc, prosecuted for his exposures of
gross abuses III the admiralty, raised
him from an obscure lawyer to a fore
most position at the bar. and thirty
briefs were offered him before he left
the court From that time until he be
came chancellor In 1906 his career was
marked by n long list of successes.
London Standard.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-03-13
UMBRELLA AND SHOES.
Their Importance In the Eyes of tho
Indian Native

Their Importance In the Eyes of tho
Indian Native.
India is so vast that different eti-
quotes prevail in different districts.
We have 10 standard etiquette, no
standard dress We mostly copy Eu
ropean etiquette while with Europeans
Even a Bengalese shakes hands with
Bengalese, speaks in English for few
minutes and then breaks forth into the
vernacular We shake hands with Il
European on parting, but by mistake
again touch the hand to the brow in a
salaam, SO we both shake hands,
salaam and do the like, and no sober
minded European ever cared for the
anomaly.
The umbrella is the emblem of royal
ty, the sign of Il rajah, so natives
generally fold their umbrellas before
a rajah and not before anybody else,
however great. 1t is not a part of the
dress, hut Il protection from the rain
or sun, Il necessary appendage, just
like the watch and chain. You might
as well ask Il European to take off
his waterproof coat, \ cody Is not
bound 10 fold his umbrella when a
brigader general rides past. But a
mental generally closes down the UNI
breIla on seeing his master, whom he
considers his King. But no Indian,
however humble, ought TO fold up the
umbrella, even before magistrate, be
cause he IS neither the master of the
humble passerby nor his superior Off
Ger. nor is he bound TO salaam him.
But if lie does. no harm. In word,
natives generally fold the umbrella
before a master or superior officer
and not any other citizen, however
great. and this is no insult.
While going to see native chief in
his palace the native visitor or official
takes eff his shoes If the reception
room has farash and the rajah is sit
ting on his musnud. But if he Is re
ceiyed in the drawing room, furnished
after the European style the shoes
are allowed. In some states no ma
tives can go u Il rajah without pu-
gree In others the pugree is taken
off and tossed at the feet of a raiah
II is ridiculous in a European (from
the Hindoo point of view to order n
native to take Off his shoes. This IL
what We ask our priest to do SO that
we may touch the dust of his feet.
A munshi when mildly rebuked by his
sahib took of his shoes, but recounted
the whole scene to his better half, say
Ing, "Sala hamara eor ka gurds lenay
magma. eThe brother-in-law wants
Gazette.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-03-13
Tic Rscnlan Ro.stinn Jack.

\ cHroHS variety OF the old fash
Toned raastns jack is used by the
peasants ef Bosnia AMI Herzegovina
when roasting sheep whole. as on the
occasion of a wedding ceremony. One
often sees near Il running stream q
long pole having one end revolving
freely in a soelleted peg, while the
other, overhansing the water. is equip.
ped with miniature paddles. This is
the Bosnian roasting jack The sheep
to be cooked is impaled on the log
fire is lit underneath. and while
the current spins the paddles and the
pole merrily round the big Joint is
cooked literally to turn.-Wide World
Magazine.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-03-13
TESTED HIS LIBERALITY.
And the Host In Turn Tested His
Guests Generosity.

And the Host In Turn Tested His
Guests Generosity.
\ rather pafsintoHious gentleman got
the better OF some Of his aeqnantances.
who were continually FOSTERING him
about his nggardlncss. Goaded to
desperation hy their taunts he one day
invited his detraetors 10 II dinner
When they made their appearance they
We're simply astonislied at the inagnill-
cence of the treat provided Apologies
were rendered and the misery indiril-
ual was warmly eomplineItcd rs well.
Now. eeutlemcn." said the host when
acknowledging their compliments, YOU
have put my libcrality TO a test | am
going 10 try your generosity. know
poor man who is very much i'll need
of iihaneial help thrungh untoward cir
cumstanecs. and propose To raise Il
subscription in his behalf See, com
menen the list with 10 shillings VIII
You help
Needless 10 say every one subscribed
literally. rs no one cared 10 he thought
more close Gsted than the host, who,
when he had collected all the money.
eoelly said:
Il thank you, gentlemen, fer your
sympathy. and now | thinl1 we are
quits You lave paid both for your
joke and your dinner II was | who
required the money" London Mail
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-03-13
THE PlANOFORTE.
A Direct Descendant of the CIav'chord
and Harpsichord.

a Direct Defendant OF the CtaVehofd
and Harpsichord.
The pianoforte was directly evolved
from the z.layichord and the harpsi-
chord. In f1tl Scipione Maffei gave II
detailed account of the first four in
strHmcHts which We're built by Bnrto.
lommeo GriSiofori. named by him pi
anoforte, and exhibited in 1903.
MariuS in France exhibited harpsl-
chords. with hammer action, in jig,
md Schroter In Germany claimed 10
have invented the pianoforte between
1717 and fT2l Marus ut first was
generally credited with the invention.
FOR II was not until 1873, when Cristo-
fori's Instruments had become famous,
that the Italian advanced his claim,
aud IL was In 1863 that he brought for
ward the proof Of his contention.
Pianos Of that period were shaped
like the modern grand the first square
piano being built by Frederick, an
organ builder Of Saxony, in lbs. The
first genuine upright was patented In
England aud the United States by
John Isaac Hawkins an Englishman,
In 1900 Scrap Book.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-03-13
CULTIVATED HIS MIND.
A Story Of Odd Moments Utilized and
Brain Rebellion.

Brain Rebellion.
Il read somewhere one day that no
one was justified in wasting a single
moment of his time" said the refec-
tive man. The article said that in
order to make use of spare moments
one should always carry small vol
ume Of one of the worlds great think
ers. Odd moments could thus be used
in the cultivation of the mind The
Idea struck me as a good one, and
felt little guilty as l thought of the
many valuable moments l had squan.
dered. In accordance with my new re-
solve l purchased n small pocket edi-
ton of Emerson, and when riding
backward and forward between my
home and my work l read Anerson.
When l had to wait in a barber shop
pulled out my Emerson. When wait
ing for an audience with some business
man l filled in the time by communing
with Emerson. When my wife was a
half hour behind time in meeting me
at place agreed upon l did not fidget
about, but calmly produced by Emer-
son. When Emerson was finished, |
substituted Carlyle Carlyle digested,
l took up Ruslin. This went on for
several weeks.
"Gradually | noticed that | was be-
ginning to feel heavy and 'dopey' My
eyes began to puff out as if were dis
sipating. My fancies being carried so
constantly into higher world, l be-
came absentminded and concentrated
my thoughts upon business with diff
Guilty. | went to bed dead tired at
night and woke up unrefreshed in the
morning. Still my anxiety not to
waste Il moment of time increased.
When once | went off from home with
out my book, | felt the hour / wasted
that day in short waits was gone, nev-
er to be restored. The loss of that
hour weighed upon me like thousand
dropped in Wall street. Still that feel
ing of heavness increased My brain
seemed to be covered with n sort of
veil or mist. | could not account for it.
.Finally | went to friend who hap
pens to be a specialist in nervous dis.
orders. He examined me, asked ques-
tons and then said: You are suffering
from Il very bad case of brain flag.
What have you been DOING told
him nothing unusual. except that l
now filed in all my odd moments by
reading. explained my plan of cult
waiting the mind
HE listened to me sarcastcally and
then said: If You keep this alleged cul-
tiyation of the mind up. in year You
will be n stark. staring maniac You
are an office man, YOU Use your brain
all day long. and the few minutes II
gets to rest You utilize by forcing it to
go to work on Carlyle, Cut it out, You
are sitting your brain by never giving
1t a chance to breathe. Throw all those
pocket editions away. Hereafter YOU
let those wasted minutes fake care Of
themselves
II followed his advice | threw En-
crson. Carlyle and Ruskin into the dis
card, frittered away my odd mo-
ments rs Of ed. aud in a week or two
was feeling normal and active again.
And now when any hehbrew talks
loftly of the cultivation Of the mind
during odd moments by eommuning
with superior minds | stab him to the
heart with my own experience" New
York Press
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-03-13
THE LAMBERTVILLE RECORD
MARCH ID. 1907.
TOILETS OF ANTS.


Combs, Brushes, Spongeo and soaf
Used In Making Them.
ANTS haYc fine aud coarse combs
sponges, hairbrushes and soap. They
are remarkably clean.
The speaker was nature student
lie bent over the artificial ants nest
NJ forn.lsrg. that stood on his table
under glass.
watch this lady making her toilet, :
he said. "She won't mind
The little black ant seemed 10 be
carefully tying and untying knots in
herself The small black body twisted
and turned. The tough little black
limbs dartcd through the air
THAT is her fine tooth comb she Is
using now" explained the student. ct
is affixed to the tibia of the forclcg. It
las Il short handle, n stiff back and
sixty.five fine teeth Nothing can css
cape it.
Now she is sponging her back. Yes,
the tongue is her sponge. the fiat sur.
face Of the tongue The tongues edges
are her brush They are equipped with
hemlSpheftGal bosses short sun, bluht
hrstles See her brushing her left fore
leg with 1T Doesn't il work admirably
aNow She Is cembing the hairy un
dcrpart Of her body with her coarse
comb II IS attached to the tarsus and
has f6rtyfivc coarse teeth an excel
lent instrument for rough work
she Is giving her legs i good soal
bath now She draws them, You see
through her mandibles. or upper jaws
The mahdbles are scrrated, and they
scercte Il fluid thai is quite like soap
suds. superb toilet lotion which
eleanSes the skin and makes the hair
brilliant aud supple.
brushes, combs. toilet lotions, soap
and sponge4 nature has given them ali
10 the little black ant" New Orleans
Times Democrat.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-03-13
MOONSHINlNG.
More Illicit Sits In New York City
Than In Kentucky.

Than In Kentucky.
Don't talk to me about moonShining
N Kentucky. said the internal reyc
nue. agent There's more monnshih-
ing Going on MI he time IN little Old
New YORK than could he done In ten
Kentnekys. In the crowded sections Of
lie east aud west sides stills spring UP
right along and for awhile conduct Il
Hourishing husncss in the low grade
whisky they manufacture You see, it
doesn't take much trouble 10 equip Il
stiil with corn and yeast and start i'll
10 mike the mash. Which is finally
turned out as Il pretty poor sort Of
whisky The great difficulty is in get
ting rid of the peculiar smoke and
odor from the stills without exciting
suspicion This IS usually attempted
by running the still III connection with
Il dye Shop OF some other chemical en-
terprise rs Il blind. We keep watch on
all such establishments and have the
town we'll covered by sharp eyed and
sharp uosed agents besides. We are
constantly arrcsting these small moon.
sinners and sending them 10 Jail. But
enough spring up in their places for
You To say with safety That, as | say,
there's more moonshining going on in
New York city right along than there
could he in ten I<cntuckys New York
Sun
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-03-13
LOW NECK CLAIMS.
Joke That Met a Man Who Had a
Feeble Senac Of Hun1or.


ex-governor Of Wisconsin, famous
u, il story teller. once rcjoiced a com
PAM of friends with an account of his
experience at Il Nc0 Jersey clambake.
At the clambakc there were plenty of
people who enjoyed HE speech of the
Wisconsin man. bat there WAS one seri-
Gus minded listener on whom it fell
Hat.
L started OF, said the eX governor,
telling the story, by stating that | had
eaten So many of their low neck clans
HAT | Wasat in the least sort Of condi-
ton for Spcechmaking. At that mo
ment q long faced old man directly
across the table seoWlcd at me and
said in u stage whisper:
Little nee, clans little necks, not
low ncrks
Il paid no attention 10 him and went
OH with ny remarks After dinner he
followed me Out Of the hall.
You're from Wisconsin. aren't
YOU he asked
Yes answered
"'Don't have many clans out there,
r. kon:'
We'll | said, we have some, but
it's eoo1 way 10 water. aud in driv-
ing them across the country their feet
get sore and they don't thrive very
we'll
".Why. man alive said he CLANS
haven't any feet"
IL
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-03-13
The Names of Tea.

We talk glibly about Pekoe, Bohea,
etc, but few people have any idea Of
what these names signify. ''Pekoe"
In the dialect of Canton means white
hair for the tea which bears this
name is made from the youngest
leaves, so young that the white down
Is still on them. "Soochong" In the
same dialect is quite unpoetic name.
1t merely signifies small kind"
"Flourishing spring" is the meaning
Of "Hyson." "Kongo" signifies "la.
bor." Much trouble and toll are ex-
pended in Its preparation at Annoy, and
these are commemorated in its name.
"Rohea' is called after range Of hills.
Portland (Ore.) Journal.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-03-13
Saved hu Ghnuls

Nilsson In his Medical Anecdotes
tells of II woman, the wife of consul
who was buried alive in Cologne in
15iI. She was dressed for the tomb in
gay attire. with Jewels as on her we'd
ding day Rohbers came ut night and
were taking the rings from her damp
aud swollen fingers when she sudden
~ sat bolt upright. stared at them and
smiled they fed In terror. and the
lady rose and walked home, where she
WAS received at first with fear, after
ward with great joy She lived many
Years afterWard in perfect health
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-03-13
"Chcck nlatc."


"eh h. kmaie,@ II. rcsents shah matg'
-"thr sh1h /. dead SHAH" in fact,
entered our language long ago via Ara
bic and Old French, arriving in the
form ef check" Chess is really
Checks, kings. and the cry OF
"Check. means your king is in danger,
hence the verb and substantive
Check in all their English meanings
"check," which was originally the
eounterfol Of a bill that served to
"chcck' fraud 'cheellered." from the
aspect Of The ehcssboard, and Eek
cheqree,' from the chcckercd pattern
Of the tablecloth on which the kings
accounts We're kept with counters. All
thesc We owe L the Persian sover-
eign'S tile. l.siaon Chronicle
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-03-13
a Few Twists.

Some Sabctha girls once made up a
list of definitions of Kansas towns, the
names of the towns 10 be guessed from
the definitions. Here they are: Very
bowlegged Great Bend; Il thin monas-
terry. Abilene, the price of yeast, Leav-
cnworth; why Mrs. Smith went, Smith
Center; descendant of Il snecze. Atchf-
son; Il sire Il circle and II term in sing
ing. raola. what the American needs
to secure Il duke. Price; what some
folks have 10 do for Il living, Russell
my first. not wearing the second, got
the third, Manhattan. Kansas City
Star
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-03-13
"Conspicuous by Absence.

Taeitus, the great Roman historian
was the originator of the phrase. Con.
spouous by his absence when. de
scribtns the funeral Of Junia N his
"Annales. he said the Images of her
famous kjusmen, Brutus and Casslus
Shone lay their absence Lord John
Russell populnriaed the phrase in Eng
land in 1919 by saying Of Lord Derby s
reform hill. ono provision is eonspeu.
GUS by It's presence. another by its alb
spnee
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-03-13
An Ouersinht

Look here" exclaimed the angry
man MS he rushed into the real estate
agents office, that ground | bought
from You yesterday is thirty feet under
water"
Pardon my oversight" apologized
the gentlcmanly agent We give a div
Ing suit with each plot will send
yours today Cartlin Times.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-03-13
Beyond Criticien,.

why do YOU always insist ON play
ing difficult and unusual music?"
because" answered Miss Cayenne,
ut Is very improbable that any of my
auditors will know whether am per-
forming correctly or not Washing.
ton Star
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-03-13
DIRECTORS.


We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for
any case of Catarrh that cannot he cured by
Halls Catarrh Cure.
+. J. CHENEY x co, Toledo, o.
We. the undersigned, have known L. j.
Cheney for the last Is years, and believe him
perfectly honorable in all business transac-
tons and financially able to carry ont any ohli-
cations made by his firm
WALpISG, KINSAS 4 MARVIN,
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo o
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally, act.
ing directly upon the blood and mucous sur
faces of the system. Testimonials sent free.
Price - cents per bottle. Sold by all drug
gists.
Take Halls Family Pillsfor constipation.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-03-13
The Tea Biscuits.

Miss Birdie livingston taking her
first meal nj the hrle'sl These tea
biscuits ef Naurs are exquisite. Ethel,
The bride oh. am SO relieved to
have You say - was dreadfully
afraid lad put too much tea into
them Womau'S Home Companion.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-03-13
Baek,,anded.

Bess-l don't like that Mr.. cutting
less That's unlliud of You. | heard
him say something awtully sweet
about YOU yesterday. less oh, did he
What WAS IT. Jess lie said he imag
med You must have been perfectly
charming n II girl Cleveland Leader
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-03-13
Artful.

"Nhy don't YOU Try Ia make peopl'
give you their cutirc confidence"
I'D rather have 'cm suspect me jus
II little" n swcrcd Senator Sorghum
Then if anything goes wrong they M,
not 50 surprised and rcsentful," Wash
ington star
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-03-13

To print high class wedding invitation necessary have
the best paper fine inks the newest type for the purpose and
the requisite skill to properly do the worha is all This
combination exists at the RECORD Office and having the work
doHe in New York Philadelphia will add anything
the job except the If you have work. let
show you samples We make the broad claim that there
preter invitations printed anywhere
than right here at the RECORD office.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-03-13
Cause For Alarm.

Benham- Don't worry il | don't get
IN early tonight Mrs, Benham-I
should Worry If you did get in early. ]
should know there was something the
matter with YOU New York Press
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-03-13

perhaps, DOCTOR said the sick man,
you'd better present your bill"
NO" replied the doctor Il don't
want TO worry You With that now"
"0h. well, if you think les hest!"
YES, I'll md 1t in TO your executor
in good time. Catholic Standard and
Times.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-03-13
And then when it comes 70
ADVERTISING

1t will pay advertise unless you can "eiver the goods
We and do 1t pays ADVERTISE and constantly
at it. Our most satisfied advertisers those who have been
with every since started in business. Spasmodc ad
versng by established firm does beget the confidence
that the chat every week inspires you conducting
small business insert advertisement in the RECORD costing
from % cents to so cents per week. Keep it for year.
Do not dappont your Keep your ad fresh and
newsy Strive to have what the people Then, if you
in here at the end of the year and honestly tell
that your experience has paid you will refund your
money