Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-05-25
HARD-LUCK STORY

up merry-go-round at a resort near
Washington. and who has conducted merry
go-rounds, from the -mule-power kind to
the steam-driven sort, In many lands, was
talking 1t over the other day.
This country'il do for me for the rest OF
my time," he said. i've got weakness for
the trial-by-jury thing, habeas corpus, no
conf1scation and such like. Most particu-
larry, I like not the warm. glowing. lassi-
tudinous lands Of the greaser. They climbed
me all right In the greaser countries, and
sure was glad to get back to San Francisco
with what teeth I'd left there with.
''The FIRST place in a greaser country that
hit up with a merry-so-round was Aca-
pulco. MEXICO. on the west coast. I started
business there to take advantage Of the Au-
tumn maneuvers of the Mexican army. I
had 1t doped out that sreaser soldiers would
like to ride on merry-go-round. The dope
was correct. The sawed-on. bare-footed
greaser soldiers fell for the whizzer from
the jump in platoons and battalions and
from the minute I gave the mule the first
gee-ap I had business. didn't collect in
advance. but had the thing rugged SO that
they'd have to produce to me as they
passed out Of the exit, small gate.
when my first batch Of military merry-go.
FOUNDERS started out. But there wasn't
cough in them. They all shook their heads.
There wasn't skentavo in the push.
and asked EN- what they meant by riding
when they knew they didn't have the price.
A nve-foot sergeant stepped forward and
told me he thought the matter could be ar
ranged. Pay day, he said, was q week OF.
l could take the names Of my soldier Gus
toners, debit them with all the rides they
took on the merry-go-round and on pay
day collect the sum total In a bunch from
Nor hat
geant. He gathered me In all right
started the system Of bookkeeping then
and there. When I'd finished putting their
names down they concluded to go back and
take another ride or SO to celebrate our
little credit pact I rode EN-. During the
following days I rode the whole Mexican
army in Acapulco assembled until had
list OF names about the size Of the muster
rolls of the civil war, with tallies of the
rides taken after each name.
When pay day came around my bill
against the soldiery of Mexico was about
hundred and quarter American. and 1t
looked pretty soft to me. Odd how man
can plug around the world for quarter OF
century and be such zap at the end of
-"Well. gave the mule q morning or and
shut down the plant and went over to the
office of the paymaster on pay day fore
noon. He was young fellow of about
nineteen. with about thirty-four pounds Of
gold bullion on his tunic. and he was there
with the naughty stuff from the minute
that stepped into the room. had a little
account against the men Of his command, I
told him. and started in to uncoil my list,
which looked like petition signed by the
population Of two or three cities. The
naughty paymaster boy recommended me to
be on my way and not to linger any. This
caused me to become somewhat lumpy. I
told him was there for dun that belonged
to me. and that I'd make q start when +
saw the color Of 1t. He rose up to his full
four feet nine. his snickersnee dangling be-
l. = ~ -.
that his time was too valuable to permit OF
his listening to the rawlings of detestable
Gringo fakir
This put knots in me that could only
unite with the aid Of speech. I told him.
for his information. that he was nineteen
pounds lighter than one sheet OF Chinese
kite paper: that the government he was
drawing wages from was joke that often
caused me to laugh right out loud in my
sleep; that the soldiers Of the command he
was supposed to be the paymaster OF re-
minded me of certain fauna that infest
not well-cared-for couches; that he himself
was funny enough to make an Angora roll
down a mountain with laughter and that
for two copper cents American I'd kick him
SO full Of buttonholes that there wondn't
be anything left for the gilt junk of his
tunic to hang upon.
'.And that's how got into the Acapulco
fortress dungeon. I lived on tep.u water
and bum tortillas for week in the dun
geen, charged with attempting 10 slaughter
L
slipped gilt f1ve-spot to one of the guards
and got word to the American consul. The
consul got me out after q while. When l
reached the lot where my plant was
found my mule absent. Somebody In Aca-
pulco was taking care Of him. But couldn't
find out who that somebody was and
didn't see the mule any more. took the
merry-go- around apart and packed her up
and went to La Libertad. Salvador, on the
next steamer.
'In La Libertad set up the spinner back
Of the American steamship office, got
jennet for fifty American. and was ready
for civilian business-I didn't want any
more soldiery, although there were plenty
Of them there, Antonio Ezeta being engaged
In one Of his quarterly revolutions at that
time. I was picking up just about enough to
pay expenses when. one forenoon. about an
hour before the siesta. fat duenna accom-
panied by four fat young women waddled
over for q ride.
"The whirler hadn't more than got under
way before the side that the five fat women
were on suddenly let down. The feet of
one Of the fat girls folded under her and her
ankle was slightly sprained. She let out q
squawk that could have been heard UP in
the foothills and then the rest Of 'em be-
gan to shrek together. Two little tads Of
civil police, with swords. came running out
of the back door Of the steamship Office,
and when they saw the fat girl with the
sprained ankle lying on the ground and hol-
lering with all her might. it was all or
with me. They got on either side of me with
their pig-stickers held within about an inch
Of my ribs. and there was. pinched again.
The fat girls. were the daughters Of the
commandante of the government forces. and
In the name OF the Holy and Indivisible
Trinity'-thats the way the official accusa-s
ton read at the top of It'll was charged
with trying to murder them all fer the
purpose of rendering aid and comfort to the
revoluters
They had me In the second floor OF the
warehouse that served as a prison for mill
tary and civil offenders for four days, when
the American consul squared 1t up for me
some way or another. and I was turned
loose upon the payment of twenty Amer
lean fine and damages. They only gave me
time to take down the whirler and pack
her up for the waiting steamer, and then
they escorted me down to the dock and
put me on board didn't want any of the
isthmus when ! got there. for the Yellow
Jack and Creeping Johnny were busy. and
so went down to Bue~a Ventura, In the
United States of ColomLia and set up there
with burro from off the pack trails-I got
him for fifteen bones. gold-that could out
pull Percheron. / had to pay license
of forty Colombian for the privilege Of set
ting up In the plaza. and was getting by
pretty well. and saving little for the next
jump. when I ran up against the graft
thing.
: "A tail. skinny person In the uniform of a
fixrf mn mad a