Los Angeles herald., 1907-07-21
TELLS WEIRD TALE
OF MARINE COMBAT
CANADIAN ,coMPELs VERNE TO
TAKE A BACK SEAT
Goes Swimming with Seals In a Bal
loon, but Horse Dies in the
Stretch and Ticket Is
No Good

bulbs, beads of perspiration streamed
from his brow. After a few moments OF
careful calculation during which he man
aged to steady himself against the slde
wall, he made a mighty leap toward the
bar and caught with both hands the
wooden rail. Then he tried to say some
thing. It was useless. He had as much
chance of vocalizing as he had, of walk
ing a slack wire So he gesticulated, and
after a few frantic efforts gave the gen
tlemanly bartender to understand that
he wanted a ''pick-me-up' and wanted II
the worst way.
The Bourbon bottle flashed charitably in
a semi-crcle and the lubricant went
down at a gulp. The effect was lnstan-
taneous.
Thanks old chap" began the stranger.
"Ah. l say, ave you seen Lord Slossing-
ton? Was sent ere to- find him. No? Me
good fellow, / aven't 'ad the pleasure OF
meeting you before, but my name is Hem
ingway-Charles Hemingway Canadian
by birth, but ever so much"
Eyes, l know-I know" interrupted
Tommy. the boy behind, "but we keep
this stuff to sell-see? Decorate, now,
come through-one dime" Tommy seemed
to mean 1t.
But, dear boy, I've lost me last penny"
explained .e visitor IF you can find
Slossington-"
Tells Weird Tale
Thomas reached for the bung-starter, but
undismayed, Charles Hemingway began
the recital of experiences during his i'm
mediate past which make the weirdest
tale of Kipling read like court calendar.
"Dueced adventure last night" he
drawled. Drank all the Scotch highballs
on Main street and started for Balboa
Beach. Party of fishermen with me call
A. A1c aIttc nc AL
from the payroll of one of your large
'otels. Quite an organization, my word,
these Angelus Anglers.
"They were looking for mountain trout
at Balboa! l laughed jolly well at the
idea and they began chatting me. So
I quit the party and went by myself to
lone region near the waters edge, where,
by the movements of the tide, sort OF
island 'ad been thrown up. There, eX-
claimed mentally, will study natural
'istory.
"Being a student was but moment
in discovering a large shoal of seals en-
sconced behind the ledge of rocks with
which residents of Balboa had surrounded
the island in case of war with Japan. ODD,
was 1t not?"
ut was-not," replied Tommy, lacon-
ically.
Shark Is King
"But, most curious of all, don't you
know, was the manner in which the seals
were governed. Would you believe me,
a. large shark which had presumably
leaned across the narrow strip of main
land to the islet ruled these Shiny crea-
lures much after the fashion of a mon
arch At each sound of this shark s
7 voice.
"Hopeless," murmured the man in the
corner.
what number are you smoking?"
queried Tommy.
NUMBER" echoed Hemingway; "oh, I
should Judge there were twenty or twen-
ty-five not to mention"
"Beat it, old chap, beat It,, from
Tommy 1.-THE emergency hospital for
YOU. Take a drink and vanish"
'Very good of you, 10 be sure" said
Hemingway, "but I've 'alf a mind that
1 took drop too much last night"
Tommy, being thus turned down, ner-
vously wiped an imaginary spot from the
| mahogany and Hemingway resumed.
| after l had taken my bath and put
NV money carefully away in the cave
| the town clock struck midnight. At that
| instant the air was filled with the shrieks
| and cries of my new-made friends, the
seals 1t was the signal for revolution.
They 'ad mutinied and attacked the
| shark. The battle was CORY and lasted
| fully two hours before l found fence
rail with which I beat them off the VIC
timzed ruler. But in his disgrace, the
| confounded shark dived into the sea and
was lost to the colony. On second thought,
my friend, 1 will take a little Scotch
with you"
Again me charitable barboy came to
| the front.
City Is Aroused
"I shouldn't ave cared so much, you
know, If 1t 'adn't been for the commotion
caused by 1t all, which reused the entire
city of Balboa. Suddenly, breaking
| through the rushes. an armed mob
dashed toward the isle. Kill i'm, Kill
| i'm they cried kill the burglar
"Imagine my situation. Taken for a
bloomin thief, my escape cut off by land
and the launch with its phosphorescent
| 'eadlight, with big letters across it spell
ing Balboa Police Patrol looming up
at sea.
"rhere was but one thing to do-plunge
into the ocean and disguise myself as
seal Being an expert swimmer, in l
dived The water was refreshing, really,
but to carry out my purpose 1 'ad to
keen my cad and feet both under water.
and arch my back up so that the lubbers
aboard would pass me for seal This
was inconvenient, quite. To my 'orror,
NV 'eavy fishing boots were top 'eavy
and l could scarcely keep my 'ead be-
low the surface. So 1 removed both
boots and stockings and lay perfectly
still until the boat 'ad passed.
"Have another" urged Tommy, you're
good for the Sullivan and Considine cir
cult"
well, sir, as the boat started back my
first thought was that 1 'ad been suspect
ed. so raising my 'ead for the instant
gave the same noises 1 'ad card the
shark give, and to my complete surprise
the entire flock rushed into the water
and surrounded me. The police boat
steered away from us and returned to
my islet
"There I spent the night training the
seals in all sorts of tricks. AT daylight
l started for town on foot and that my
good fellow, is why I'm broke this morn
ing"
The crowd had listened, half in pity
and half in derision, to the old inebriate's
hallucination, and Tommy was on the
fence as to which view to take. lie col
lected himself sufficiently, however, to
remark: but you haven't told us what
became of your money-was 1t In your
coat?'
"Oh, no, not at all, old chap. But 'ad