The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-18

It sure was the original fall guy yes
terday,' said Johnnie Burke, as he
dropped YEARLY into a chair, at last
at rest after a strenuous day. Il have
been waiting for a week for a chance
to get a couple of hours off, so that
1 could go down to the lake and stick
my poor, aching feet in the water.
Well, yesterday there was chance.
when 1 got rounded to after break
fast, l says to myself, I says, This will
be pretty fine for me and the lake.
Warm. lovely warm. Think I'll get
hair cut and a shave first
L no sooner got out of that barber
shop than it began to sprinkle and
there were zephyrs, but L started for
the lake just the same.
AT the station I found the train
crowded with women. I saw immedi
ately how foolish it was of me to sit
in one of, the closed cars at the end
of the train, when there was so much
beautiful and lifegiving air to be had
in an open car. Me for the open car.
The open car was packed. but 1 man
aged to get coat tail room on the
floor, letting my feet hang over.
Pretty soon il began to blow. Then
Ii blew worse yet. Then 1t began to
rain. 1 was in direct line for the rain,
on the south side of the car. I didn't
pay very much attention to the rain
at first, until some one said: There's
a damphool that don't know enough to
come in when it rains. Then l thought
it was time to move.
Next to me was a woman with
baby, which she seemed to be holding
as a shield to protect herself Being
a candidate for the'Eero medal, 1 low
cred the canvas curtain they have on
C-,Tz
to fasten the canvas and it tapped
about like a thing gone mad. There
was nothing to do but to hold it In
place, the driving rain meanwhile
soaking me under the curtain and
through the cracks.
isn't it just lovely. darling says
the woman to her child. DO 90 mind
it. See how good the man is to pro-
tect us. Is 90 comfy"
Just about that time the wind took
a half Nelson on my hat, and that's
about all about the hat.
Horrid thingi' exclaimed the wo-
man, don't you see the baby Is get
ting drenched?'
Yes, ma'am,' 1 said. Did you
ever try standing between your baby
and the rain your Ownself?'
X = X
I'VE finally got to SaItair and were
there permitted to stand in a down.
pour of rain while a crowd of a thou
sand people scrambled through one lit
tie gate, although there were gates of
all sizes and convenience at hand.
"A woman who was directly in front
of me suddenly discovered that there
was something wrong with her shoe.
In the act of STOPPING to discover what
it was she rammed the steel tip of her
umbrella into my eye.
What tn I says, being moment
arily angry that away and the UNI
brella having hurt like everything.
Brute. said the woman, you're
no gentleman
"'No, ma'am.' I says, 4 have come
to that conclusion myself. I'm a
wretched descendant of the monkey
tribe
"'You look it, she snapped.
at was colder than seven degrees
below, but / was determined to have
that bath. l was wet to the skin and
a bucketful of water could have been
got out of my clothes without half try
ing. I was shivering like an aspen
leaf. but my mind was made up.
1.-THE water in the lake was fine It
was Just right in temperature. 1 was
enjoying myself first rate, watching
young fellow pretending to try to
IedC0 girl now I'd IlOdI, VINO SAID she
didn't know how at all, when q big
wave came along and turned me over
and filled my innards full of salt wa
ter: likewise my eyes.
''Tn the bathroom I found that L had
carefully left one of my shoes under
a hole in the roof, and when I got
around TO putting it on it was just
about at the running over point.
ION the return trip some fellow from
Ohio plbmped down into a seat beside
me.
ct suppose there are a good many
Mormons around here?
a. Some 1 said, CURLY, for ] was
about at the end of my string.
Gould you tell me just how many
there are, and what the principal
tenets of their faith are?'
I could, but I'm id if 1 WILL
stepping off the train, a fellow
came up to me:
Have you got a match?'
NOW, I had q match and a five
dollar bill in the same pocket. 1 gave
the guy the match. Pretty soon 1
didn't have any five-dollar bill.
This is going entirely too strong,
for sure I says to myself, and 1 pro-
ceeded to hunt up Mr.. Pickpocket
BLOW back with the five l says.
What five? he says
Any old five l says. sThis is my