davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-27

that once a person has been IN prison
there is no use to try 20 get rid OF the
stigma. quoting often times the old
adage, give dog bad name and
you might as well hang him." that
there Was no getting away from the
first commitment and p<zny other like
discouraging arguments to keep young
prisoners from trying to reform It
has been said by men OF long expert
ence that twenty-four hours contact
with the habitual criminal Is sufficient
to ruin the young and first offenders
OF what use is the establishment Of
houses OF detention. which has been
oone through the police OF this city
In order that the juvenile and firsf
offender may be kept from The con-
terminating Influences which follow
confinement with the hardened classes,
If the moment they are sent to the
Jail they are cellmated VITA one or
more Of the very class from which
they have been shielded In toe house
OF detention?
Il is the duty Of the District Com
nittees in Congress to look into this
matter and secure the passage OF such
avs 0@AN aERA0Nl 4stlluflS aS VIII give
TO the District of Columbia up-to-
cate facilities for handling the crimi-
nal class properly. ThaTe X no rea-
son why methods that are obsolete
should be continued at the Capital
Of a great nation like ours Or that
we should be so active and generous
In our care and provision for other
races and so blind TO the needs Of
Vha nFnFn--grutus.a in.
What is needed is that. Without de-
lay. tract OF land should be secured
extensive enough to provide acreage
sufficient TO have a farm IN connec-
ton with the penitentlary and jail.
Build 8 penitentiary and jaIl on the
land. Build >hem en- plans for the
future and not barely sufficient for
the present, and have them so d.
vided that male and female prisoners
can be classified. so that there may
be some chance Of reformation of the
less hardened by keeping them sep
srated from the hopelessly confirmed
criminals. Furnish agricultural and
all kinds OF Industrial opportunities
FOR the steady employment Of all able
bodied prisoners. and Al the same
time provide hours and means for
recreation and education for them,
and thereby ill up their time so COM
pletely that they can nave no chance
to demoralize each other, concoct con-
spiracies and schemes .or Mischief or
vengeance.
There has been so much attention
given to prison reform in the last de-
cade that there is much less cruelty
in the treatment OF convicts thap
formerly. Humanltarians have accom-
plished wonders along that line with
out interfering with the discipline Of
penal institutions. Thousands have
been saved for better lives simply
through wise and just treatment dur
ing their Incarceration as prisoners
There are SO many fields where their
labor can be turned 10 most profitable
account for the State which has been
put to 50 much expense on account of
their crimes that IL seems Just and
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-27
Doctor By Label.

4 never INDUCES in sech lynch-prO-
vOkin' eccentricities." replied the
stranger, inviting all hands to name
their nose polish. Doc Horne is my
handle and I'm a doctor by perfessiOn.
Ny line is osteopathy and 1 hsger
stoppin' In this invitin' hamlet fer d
SPELL
We'll. remarked Bill Askins. I've
heerd of anepathy and homypathy,
but yer speciality Is a new one on us"
"OSteopathy.' said Doc. growing
eloquent. 'ds the only sure cure fer all
ailments. BY treatin' the muscles ano
manipulation the ligaments the pa
tents anaterny Is put in as smooth
workin' 5rder as a stem-winder and
he never hez to take no medicine.
cept his reg lar nourishment at the
bar"
We'll. thet treatment shorely would
please yere. but thar's mighty little
sickness in this section The only IL
ness we he'd in the past six months
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-27
NeTer FeIt Retter.

Never felt better ir my Hfe." re-
Piled WHEN.
wen. thar air signs about yer eyes
indlcatin' tibet you air goin' to b OF
yer iced. You hev every symptom
thet you'lI be feelin' purity puny fore
long
Then Doe launched forth into little
honaily replete with dazzling techni-
calides, aad Bin began 70 think he
wasn't very well. after all. II prsyed
on his mind 50 that inside Of an hour
he waE convinced that he was a sick
man AMI he went TO Doc for treat
mont The news spread Ike wildhre.
Doc locked his oftice door and the boys
stood outside awaiting developments.
Rio Grande Charley, who was now a
convert to osteopathy and an ardent
adTlirer II Docs, stood on guard 50
there would be no interruptions,
Rio GrRrde. who had spent al hts
spare time IOafing with Doc. Was get
ting the swing OF his phrases and was
proud Of IT, he used them On any
and every occasion. although he didn' [
know what he was talking about
Even he bartender at the Black Bear
had lost his mental balance over the
rev science gnd the barrOom window
was filed with signs advocating such
fancy drinks as .'VibratOry Cocktails"
''Dorsai Twisters. and "Cervfcal
HighbaIls.''
Help. Murder came a voice from
within.
What's comm on7'' inquired one Of
the bows.
Ric G-snde peeped through the key
hole and replied, Ny view Ia some
Obstructed. but ! fgger the medical
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-27
Court ia Saloon.

About two minutes later the members
OF the Necktie Society, having heard
the shot, rushed into the saloon and
placed Doc Horne under arrest. think
ing that he had tried to commit muir
der. They proceeded TO hold court in
tce barooom with Rio. Grande Charley
In the chair
Dummy Link. who was not badly
hurt was the first witness. All he
knew about the affair was that a bull
let grazed his throat and he recovered
his voice. He was glad OF 1t. The bar
tender testified that the prisoners gun
exploded as he was handing it to him
for inspection. He was certain that
the shooting was accidental.
Rio Grande Charley then said to Doc
Horne: Prisoner. the Necktie Society
is the bulwark of peace and order IN
this community. and If there is any
Iynchin' TO be done we do it in legal
manner. You air charged with shoot
ing our townsman. Dummy Link.
What hev you. got to say"
.'The bartender says the shootin'
wuz accidental" replied Doc, ''but he
Is mistaken. I did 1t a-purpose.
And why did you Try TO blot out
the fair young life of our formerly
reticent and on-communieative Teller
oitizen?"
= didn't try 20 take his life ! wuz
ies' givin' him an osteepathic treat
lnent fer his voice You see fer yer
self thet lie kin talk. and tharfore the
treatment, which costs nuthin, wuz a
pre-eminent Suecess."
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-27
Tells His Old Story,

Bill then launched into a detailed
story Of how he thrsshed Red. No Visit
tor ever escaped hearing OF that his
toric event II William was at home.
"Jedgin' frum yer description of this
miscreant." remarked Doc, when Bill
had concluded. Il think I met him
some time ago in chihuahua. He wuZ
handlin' the truth in an intrepid sort OF
style and pinin' fer a fight. He said
he never got a strangle holt on man
that he didn't lick
The consensus OF opinion was that
the man the osteOpathist met was none
other than the famous prevaricator.
Doc Horne decided to remain in Brazo
and an incident took place in the Black
Bear one morning that gave ostso-
pathy a great boost. Doc was standing
at the bar near the door talking to the
bartender, and at the opposite end OF
the room was Dummy Link. reveling
in the delicacies on the free lunch
counter
Dummy lost his voice and he hadn't
spoken for years. Doc was dilating
upon various kinds OF guns and taking
his own shooting iron out OF his hip
rocket. as X TO show II 10 the man
behind the bar; he was about 70 lay
il down on the counter when the
weapon exploded. At this psyehOlogi-
cal moment Dummy Link. who was
contemplating a luclous pigs foot with
unfeigned delight. Jumped four feet in
the air and let a yell out of him that
shattered a chandelier. He had re-
covered his voice. The bullet from
Docs gun had grazed HIS throat and by
one OF those mysterious freaks of ma
ture ioosened his vocal cords. Dummy
was so tickled at being able to speak
again that he cussed himself and
everybody with great enthusiasm. He
used all the picturesque expressions he
knew and to make certain he wasn't
dreaming. repeated them in different
tone OF voice.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-27
By MRS. JOHN A. LOGAN.

- HE citizens of Washington are
indebted 70 Robert n. Harper
for caIlir.g attention 20 the IN
wise. inhumRne and extrava-
CANT way In which criminals aecustd
and convicted are handled IN the Capt.
tai city.
In the first place. It is absurd that
the District OF Columbia should not
have had e penitentiary as well as q
jan long ago. OF that prisoners who
have committed crimes punishable BY
incarceration In a penitentiaTy should
have TO be farmed out at great ex-
pense IN some institution in a neigh
boring State. AZ present the Govern
ment has a contract with West VII
QsniaL at Moundsvilie, whittier AL con-
victed criminals are taken at an ex-
nense that could easily be avoided II
greater wisdom was exercised
The penitentiary having the contract
for the keen OF these prisoners has
also the privilege Of contracting tof
their labor which has been profitable
An the past. Men and women capable
Of Intelligent, efficient. and splendid
Uor,, are often lonE-term c0nvicts for
some crime they have committed. Why
should not the District Of Columbia
nrofit nv the labor OF this classT The
veriest dullard Is Obliged 70 work IN
the penitentiary. and there. is no rea-
son why the District should not have
a penitentiary equipped with all the
modern appliances for extracting the
best possible that there is in every
prisoner. And in return DO the best
that could be done for the refOrma-
ton of the unfortunate creatures who
are denizens OF such institutions
Few people IN this country know or
the actual conditions existing In the
District OF Columbia, and that, not
withstanding the liberal appropriations
that have been made from time to
time for buildings and running ex-
penses Of the jail, the present struc-
ture is wholly Inadequate and abSO-
lutely without modern plumbing and
necessary sanitary accommodation.
There Is no means OF separating the
accused and the convicted. or the old
and young offenders
Warden Harris. man of long ex-
-perlence. claims the jail was intended
for about 800, whereas, with the multi
piled population and rapid Increase Of
criminals, they are now housing about
double that number. After each 'Judg
ment Day and the arrival OF the
BLACK Maria" at the Jail the jailer
has no alternative but TO distribute
the prisoners the best he can. it being
at ali times necessary to put two and
three in a cell 1t Is quite impossible
under such conditions te sort the
wheat from the tares.
Hence acc Used and first offenders are
often put with convicted incorrigibles
who are invariably delighted TO prey
upon novices who are hurtfuHy i'm
pressed by association with the hard
ened, who are usually voluble and like
IT, tell OF their exploits and wonderful
slnartness in eVading arrests and dodg-
ing authorities, invariably claiming
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-27

The men looked At each osuer ina
Amusement. and presently DID Grande
said: Isn't this ostsopathy play some
vioient?''
Thar air cases which require heroic
measures replied the prisoner. The
presen operation. while Iookin' c.anKer-
Gus WIZ not very painful. as the pa
tent will no doubt testify. Had tolG
Dummy Link thet he would be able
10 talk II I shot him In the neck he
would hev said wuz solicitin' trade
fer tombstone maker. So I gave
him the treatment without his permits
sion. You hev before you, gents.
practical Illustration OF the efficacy
OF osteOpathy"
I'm afeerd yer perfession will be
more Of menace than a boon to this
peaceful town. fer ef it is common 10
use yer weepin' as a surgical instru-
ment every man who packs a gun will
be pOsin' as an nsteO2ath."
Doc Horne has -ened to say: Gents.
I'm the first medical sharp who ever
used a gun to treat a patient. The
case OF Dummy Link is a peculiar
one and thar VIII hardly ever be
anuther ike II. The work OF my per
fession - done solely with the hands
and no instruments air needed. To be
frank. I confess thet In extreme cases
the treatment is sometimes a Ieetie
severe Fer instance, when a man
Is long sufferer frum a complication
OF ailments, / begin workin' on him
BY stirrin' up the cervical region. AZ
ter submitun' TO this neck manipulatfn.
| hev known patients to say thew
could look forward to iynchin' as a
positive pleasure, Further down / in
dulge in the dorsal twistin' OF thu
spine. and I am so familiar with the
bones Of the anatermy that bv a def
movement I kin dislocate every rib
In the body. The Migratory move
ment consists Of poundin' on the most
sensitive nerves which is mighty slim.
uiain' to the Invalid. Then thar ia tie
Migratory movement with the knockles
On the face, very vigorously applied
In order to stimulate the cutaDeous
nerves ! pinch the skin al: over the
body. / kin wrench both legs out of
their sockets IN a scientific effort to set
the innOminate bones and the patient
becomes well man, even II he does
get up frum the table feeliR' ike a
victim Of the Inquisitlon. I merely in
dulge In these cheerful technicaIities.
gents, to show you thet my treatment
air lot fatal and tibet gun plays air
not in the curriculum of the perfes-
sion. As fer my ability l refer you
to Dummy Link. whose power of
speech 1 hev restored"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-27
His Treat
ment AL
most Is
Cause of


capacity wuz compelled to 90 after
him purity lively 70 git 70 the seat Of
The trouble. which Is mainly about the
eyes
] Notice tibet his gun optic is ready
to close fer repairs remarked Elijah
Rivers.
which is due TO the vibratory
movements OF the knucieles,'' explained
the professor. Mr.. AslzIns. however.
viii be we'll man n twenty-four
hours"
Rio Grande Charley asked BIN how
he felt. but he was too tired 10 talk.
and merely waved his hand as an in
dication that he preferred 70 be left
alone IN ms misery. II was arranged
that the patient sleep that night in
Docs OIiee, and the crowd retired to
tne Black Bear 10 discuss at length
the maryels Of medical science.
Several hours after shutdown I met
Doc Horne unexpectedly. He was on
horseback. and didn't seem any more
pleased to see me than if I had been
tarantula- Hello. Doc 1 sang out.
cheerfully. where are you going?''
He thought minute, and said. I'm
le2vin' town can't make a Twin
here
Doc. you're an imposter," 1 re-
marked. frankly. and you dom know
the difference between osteopathy and
q hot dog sandwich. You mastered a
lot OF technical terms. and disguised
yourself 10 look like a crossroads
medical man. But you're faker from
the hair dye 10 the circus clothes. and
although 1 said nothing = mad your
measure from the first day 1 saw
you"
Doc laughed with glee, as he said:
Well. Hank. you re the only one in
camp who guessed It."
You nad but one purpose IN getting
Bill saslSins III your Office, ana that
was to spraddle all over him and make
him look like the only survivor Of a
massacre The fact that you locked
the door so there would be no outside
interference reveals a weli-conceived
plot. Why you promoted this gentle
enterprise is one too many for me-
Doc chuckled softly. As he rode
away he looked back. and said: We'll,
Hank. you inform Bill Askins thet I'm
Red Riley. and ae'u tel you why"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-27

sharp is sirrin' NJ the cervical re-
Kion."
Bill uncorked a blood-curdling whoop
that shook the building.
william seems TO be ailin' some. -
observed Tom Irwin
Yes. the dorsal tWfstin' of the spine
is purity painful said RIO Grande,
with the easy air OF a professional.
4 terrific humping followed and Bill
Abkins yells for help continued 70 en-
terrain the asSemblagc without.
Finally ali was quiet and Doc Horne,
with the bosom OF his shirt missing,
opened the door. The patient, COM
pietely played ous. vas lying on the
table. He looked as II he had been
travelling with a cyclone.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-27
Typical French Chateau

was q fine old house, high in the
center. with a lower wing on each
side. There were three drawing
rooms. a library. billiard room,
and dining room on the ground floor.
The large drawing room, wherefwe al
ways sat ran straight through the
house. with big glass doors opening
out on the lawn on the entrance side,
and on the other into a long gallery
which ran almost the whole length of
the house. 1t was always filled with
plants and flowers, open ia summer,
with awnings to keep out the sun; shut
in winter with glass windows. and
warmed by one of the three calori-
feres OF the house. In front of the
gallery the lawn sloped down 20 the
wall. which separated the place from
the highTOad A belt 0f fine trees
marked the path along the wall and
shut out the road completely. except
in certain places where an opening had
been made for the view.
We were a small party for such a big
house; Only-the proprietor and his
wife 6old people,. nay husband and my
self The life was very simple. almost
ausiere. The old people lived in the
center Of the chateau, ". and I IN one
Of the wings. 1t had been all iitted up
for Us, and was a charming little
horse w had the ground noOr--a
bedroom. dressing-rOOm. cabinet de
travail, diHd9g-room, and a small
room. half reception-room. half library.
where he had a large bookcase filled
With books. which ne gave away as
80 ar RI Iaea
choice Of the books always interested
me. They were principally transIl-
tions. English and American-NN Walter
Scott Marryat FeuiuOre CuOper. etc
The bedroom ard cabinet dc travail
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-27
Is Rough Pastime.

This yer ostepathy pears 10 be a
violent pasdme." ventured Rio Grande
Charley
In the present case it Is. said Doc.
shaking the perspiration from his
brow. AT first our estimable friend
seemed 10 feel chagrined about some
thing. ana when he tried 10 fracture
my jaw I took IL that lie objected 10
my treatment But in the interest or
science perSevered and he'd 10 be
ruther severe with him You see he
auz sufTerfn' from ailments he didI.' I
know he he'd. ana IN my professional
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-27

greatest wonder in the western hem
isphCre.
During the next week there was 3
general failing on in business. Even
such recreations as faro and poker
lost their interest The natives ap-
peared 20 be spending their time try
.ng to get sick so Doc could cure
them. whlle Dummy Link daily in
dorsed his skin by swearing enthus-
iasucally whenever ne could get any
body TO listen TO him. But B-azO con-
tinued 10 be. stubborniy healthful.
osteopathy wasn't getting much Of a
show One night Doc Horne met Bin
Askins and remarked. You ain't
i0okin' very well this evenin', Bill"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-27

wuz caught associatin' with a marked
deck OF kyArds. and when the Necktie
Society. who tends to our official
Iynchin', got through with him. he
wuz 50 plumb unconscious he never
did recover. The only time you could
new been any good wuz about year
ego. when licked Red Riley. l shore
~ did put a erimp in his activity. and
when I got through with him he wuz
so mutilated tibet he wuz cert'nly due
TO consult a respected physician"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-27
Crowed Right On.

Bill Askins was still Growing about
his victory when arrived in the
town. He never got tired telling the
story OF the fight and repeated it to
me again and again. on each occasion
working in many new and novel dis
erepanCies. One time he introduced SO
many new details that at frst 1 inn
agined he was talking about another
tight. Bill was in the habit of corner
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-27
BALLADS OF THE BLUNT MAN.

1 do not compromise,
Nor yet insinuate.
Nor sophistries devise:
give It to you straight.
It's likely it may CRATE,
+, But 1 am unafraid.
1t is my leading tTalr;
! cali a spade a spade.
I hit between the eyes
With all my body's weight,
JUST sparring I despise
Ana feintings delicate.
If you're a reprobate
The term I don't evade.
] cail a skate a skate.
I call a spade a spade.
/ do not say it's wise.
It's me at any rate
Quite plain, without Disguise
Not anything ornate.
Unvarnished truths [ state.
10 kinds of frills displayed
Though you expostulate,
! call spade a spade
Prom the Chicago News
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-27

had glass doors opening on the park.
/ had the same rooms upstairs, giving
enc TO my maid. for I was nervous at
being so far away from anyone. NJ
and Mime. A and all the servants were
a; the other end OF the house. and
there were no bells In our wing tnor
anywhere else in the house except in
the ng-rooml.-Fron Chateau ant
Country Life in France. by Madame
WaddiugtOu in Scribner's Magazine.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-27

n : OW there was the case of Red
M Riley. He had gone from Brazo
fully a year. but when l ar
rived there the natives were
sun talking about the parslmoni-
Gus manner In which he handled the
truth IL occurred to me that a gent
whose achievements are wildly re-
membered long after he faded away to
other fields OF endeayor must naturally
asYe some accomplishments. From
what / could gather Reds frugality in
dealing. with the truth was a matter
OF general comment, and he inspired a
whole lot OF Jealousy among the local
Liars who were unable to cope with his
W1erd and WOndrous imagery. TIE
envtous ones took advantage Of an
opportunity 70 get even, and he was
80 Inundated that he left tie town in
disgust.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-27
How doc" Horne, Specialist in Violent and
Gymnastic Osteopathy, Smiled His Way Into
Brazo, and Gave the Rough and Ready Boys
Some" Surprise. y * * A ~

= FYOU sift the record of a man
who is being roasted by the
populace he viii generally be
- found to have certain talents
out of the ordinary. Rockefeller
has received more knocks than
anyone within recent date, and yet
when it comes to corTalling real
coin of the realm, it's a noble
browed lad with a thoughtful cast
of countenance who can beat him
at his own game. Just now there
IS a dearth in this brand of noble
browed youth.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-27

- HE citizens Of Washington are
indebted 20 Robert n. Harper
for calling attention 20 the IN
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1907-12-27
PH|LANTHROPIC ARE
The SALOON MEN
Well Known Citizen Apologies
For misunderstanding Gen.
tIemen Who Advertise Free.
Lunch,
EdILor MornIne JournaI.

Editor Morning Journal.
Al last "a eyes have been opened
by you contributor, quite Ohserv-
err through his communication in
the Morning journal of today. and
we now see how We have misunder-
stood The dear saloon keeper and his
wen advertised free lunches al these
years The public. OF course. has
looked upon these free lunches as "a
great drawing card for the saloons.
ana % nat greatly facilitated the
movement of drinks across the bar
ana 10 was "a noticeable fact that the
saloons which provided the most free
lunches We're the most popular drink
ing places. but 30 seems that public
opinion was away Off as usual
quiet Observer" now shows as. hy
chemical analysis as IL were. that
these free lunches are "a boon 10
thc community. in Keeping men 500
her around the bars. therefore let
us acknowledge our obligation 20 the
ellpou Keepers and not compel them
to bid their lights under e busheI'
any more. Let our model license"
laws permit the taking down OF
screens from tho doors and windows
90 The end that the proprictors may
uoi longer Doe obliged 20 DO business
in the dark Let them come out In
the oreH that we may know more %
their good works. and give every man
%
PITT moss