Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-03-30
THE COLD BATH MAN

About these cold bath performers, now.
1t Is certain that large numbers of them
are maybe cold bathers.
That Is to say, they Almost take cold
baths.
We are all liable to be from st. Joseph.
Mo.-people. that Is to say. who must have
visual demonstration, must have a peek at
Exhibit A-when We are being talked at by
the cold bathers.
"Oh. I simply couldn't live without my
cold baths. winter as well as summer -
the cold bather declares. in his patronizing
tone-frst ascertaining Of course, that no.
body else in the listening group takes those
grtsly cold baths in the morning, or even
processes to take them. Il couldn't even
Wihou Of tSem the thought of living
But you don't Jump right in:" we ask.
with awe.
Sure" replies the cold bather. lump
have it over with at once. And enjoy it
mmensely-immensely!
Jump right in the cold water. straight
from the cold spigot in the middle of win
ter! We ask again. with still more awe
Surest thing you know answers the
Maybe cold water bather. expansively. with
marked empressment. That's the beauty
Of 1.-THE coldness of the water. Colder
the better"
But you jump right out again in an in
slant, don't your we inquire, submerged
III duiHiIdtlOn-pernapS.
Should say not" replied the hypothetical
cold water bather. ''Where'd be the sense
in that?"
You don't mean to say that. after jump
that terribly cold water, do you?-br-r-r-r!''
"Wallow's the word for it, says the cold
water bather. delighted at the spectacle of
our horror
And you don't feel, in that awful mo-
ment of first meeting the cold water, like a
sailor on q Whaler tossed overheard for
mutiny in the arctic seas?" we pursue
well. l never was a whaler in the arctic
seas. you know" modestly replies the cold
water man, but I'm sure that isn't tine
feeling, anyhow. Ice-coId water just ex-
hilarates me-good as two drinks of whisky.
Why. say. I've often broken the Ice in the
Yes. they all say that. heaven have
mercy upon their sinful souls. They all
In the tub in the morning in the frenzy of
their zeal to take their regular cold morn
ing baths. They never explain how the
water happened to be left in the tub. the
they inform you how the temperature Of
the bath room happened to be such that the
water In the tub could really freeze. They
JUST say II. and let 1t go at that. and you
But we harp. doesn't the shock
paralyze your nervous SYSTEM"
Shock nothing" chops the cold water
bather. grandy. Greatest tonic for the
morning. Built me up. Why, before I be-
gan to take cold baths in the morning I
mad cold al the time. But since began
to take cold baths in the morning I-simply
-never-have-a-cold"
We'Ve heard EN- say that when their
heaos were SO stopped up with outlandish
colds that they could only articulate with
the EXTREMIST diff1culty)
But we argue. desiring to get all sides
of it. "one would suppose that such an ex
perience, early in the morning, before
breakfast. would take lot out of your"
Nothing. like it," airily comes back the
nero y see. as soon as l climb out 1 take
a hard-fierce. might say-rub down with
a very coarse crash towel. and that exer-
the Importance of exercising the skin
and then, when that's over why, I'm in a
regular glow-feel like somebody with a
couple of cocktails under his belt
After all of which we have to give II TO
him, of course-we have to. that is, If we
are credulous. bovine-eyed persons. Other
WISE we
Well, anyhow. here's a strictly veracIous
story about one OF EN-.
He was-until this thing happened-about
the domneeringest. rampantest. patron
| izingest Maybe cold-water bather in the
District or Columbia or In any Of the ad-
Joining desmesnes.
He lived-and lives-n a large boarding
house where there are whole lot Of other
young men. some of them skeptical blades.
All of these young men-some eleven of
them-were. and are, quartered upon the
second floor of the boarding house The
bath room Is on that second floor.
Well, this rampant one had been singing
personally-conducted Sagas all winter
anent his cold water stunts. He'd never let
an opportunity slip to nudge in the remark
that he took his cold water bath regularly
every morning, winter and summer. rain
or shine storm or calm hail or sleet, snow
or rain. Never let it slide. Always took it.
Didn't make any difference how cold the
weather was. Cold baths were the Joy of
without 'em: They kept him in trim
They nourished his strength They had
built him up. Oh. it had been hard at first.
but, gee anything is hard at first But
ply destroy himself if anything happened to
prevent him from leaping. bounding,
bouncing into his tub of ice-cold water
every morning of his life. 1t was a Tyre
of thousand strings with this one and
he knew chords and variations on all of the
strings.
He outwardly lorded it over all of the rest
of his mates on that second floor of the
boarding house because he was the only
one of the crew to take those cold baths of
morning. He kept shooting it at them. He
sort of gibed them about it. He mentioned
1t almost every morning at breakfast. If
one of them would look a bit seedy. the
cold bather would up and remark that If
the seedy locker had the sense to get into
the habit Of taking cold baths Of mornings.
he'd feel like fighting cock all the time
and never by any chance look seedy If
one of the others had a cold in the head
the cold bather would edge in the crack
that nobody who took cold baths knew
what it was to have a cold and so on. He
was there with 1t all the time.
He reused a sort of slumbering rage
among all hands with this kind of Dragging
about his cold baths. but they kept under
cover What was there for them to say?
He said he took em, and wasn't that all
there was to it?
However the bunch of young fellows on
that second floor of the boarding house be-
gan to show signs Of revolt about a fort
night ago.
Say. l don't believe all that junk about
his cold baths one of them observed one
morning. 'Of course, he goes into the bath
room before any of us gets out of bed in
the morning. but that isn't saying that he
jumps into any cold tub. He's got to show
me-"
That started it. They all seemed to be of
much the same opinion. The time had ar
rived when they had to be shown. And so
they fixed it up.
On the following morning-a very cold,
raw mornng-the patronizing cold water
bather clomped into the bathroom in his
bathrobe at his customary early hour He
had no sooner closed and locked the door
than all the rest of his floor mates were
bounding out of their hunks They heard
the water rushing from the spigot in the
bathroom. But still they had to be shown
One of them got the step ladder that had