Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1907-03-22

First Woman: What makes you
think Mrs. Weeds isn't sincere?"
Second Woman: 'She says she
will never love again"
First Woman: 'Well?'
Second Woman: And that this
world is but fieeting show"
First Woman: Well?"
Second Woman: well, I stayed
with her last night, and she mas
saged her face for an hour and wore
a toilet mask to bed with her."
There are many young men, with
long hair and starved-appearing face,
who can draw landscape and paint
a portrait. Yet there has been a
time in their life, if they will admit
the truth, no doubt, when, if they
had only knew how to paint a house,
a wagon, or a store keepers sign,
they could have earned the money
to pay their roOm-rent, purchase a
meal ticket and settled their laundry
bill without borrowing the where
withH to do so, from a longshore-
man.
A society journal predicts that in
a few years church-weddings will be
few and far between. This will be a
grand event for parents who go into
debt and commit all kinds of foolish
ness to give their daughters good
church send-off, not to mention the
banquet and other trimmings. There
are parents in every town who gave
their daughters great blowout,
who are still paying debts contract
ed. The mothers, to a great extent,
are responsible for flashy church nup-
tials.
Many curious advertisements are
to be met with in the newspapers,
but it is not often that advertisers
are quite so outspoken as was the
man who advertised for a situation
to manage a branch business, or
could manage for q widow; life ex-
perience. That was the wording of
q real advertisement the other day
in a weekly trade journal. Whether
the management for the widow was
to include marriage service is not
stated, but that is what one natur-
ally concludes on reading the ad-
vertisement.
The extempore prayers of divines,
sometimes, are apt to be eccentric to
the verge of extravaganza. Here is
one that came to my notice. A GER
tain preacher, with great reputation,
was opening an outdoor function
with prayer on an occasion when q
great parsonage had failed to keep
an engagement to be present and he
thus commenced his supplications:
In consequence of the rain, o Lordl
and by reason of the regretted alb
sence of brother Blank, caused,
doubtless, by the stormy weather, ]
do not purpose to address Thee at
any lengthl"
The young man who takes life
studiously laughed several times in
quick succession. His friend seized
his arm and exclaimed:
What's the matter?"
Nothing" was. the answer. 81
was merely laughing at all those new
hats in that window"
but there is nothing extraordi-
nary about them"
THAT is how it seems to YOU.
But I look ahead. If they are as
funny fifty years from now as the
hats of fifty years ago are to-day,
they will be simply excruciating.
may not be here fifty years from
now, and I don't want to miss the
opportunity"
He laughed once more and then re.
lapsed into gloom.
An Olympia man who usually
grumbles and growls at everything
and on every occasion, was attacked
by rheumatism. He was carefully
nursed by his wife, who is very de.
! voted to him, in spite Of his fault
finding disposition. Sometimes the
sight of his suffering caused her to
burst into tears as she sat at is bed.
side. One day friend of the invalid
came in and asked him, sympatheti.
cally, how he was getting on.
Badly, badly!" he exclaimed,
"and it's all my wife's fault
SIS it possible?" asked the visitor
in surprise.
Yes. The doctor told me that
damp places were bad Tor me, and
there my wife sits and cries just to
make the air in the room moist"
Any preacher can preach either
above his own head or the heads OF
others, but it takes an exceedingly
able man to preach a sermon which
the common people can understand.
I have read that John Wesley used
to recite some of his sermons to one
of his servants, and he was always
willing to abide by her decisions in
regard to simplicity of language. II
there was any word the homely critic
could not understand, it was re-
placed by one with which she was
familiar. In this way the great