davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-10-25
Could Provide Tor Many.

Secretary Taft. the hugest states.
man Of his time, took . yellow. car In
Washington: to go to the capitol.
He nearly filed the seat, but at
Thirteenth street and Pennsylvania
avenue small boy got on and timidly
sat down beside the gigantic secretary.
The small boy wore what was obvi.
ously suit Of clothes made over for
him from his fathers clothes. He was
rather proud Of It, too, for after rid.
Ing . block or two he said to the sec.
rotary: my mamma made me this
suit on; Of one Of papa g. sss
indeed" said the secretary: IN
think III very pretty suit = ~
Tho small boy. looked the big secre,
stary oysr. Say, mister, no said. aftsr
tho survey VA comrlsted. how many
of yOur little boys has to wear your
clothes e, atprday EVENING Post
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-10-25
Giving Him a Pointer.

"Once upon a time, when was SELL
ing lightning rods" began the man
whom we all sized up as a returned
missionary from China, II came
across farmer who had quit the
plow for shady fence corner and was
thoroughly out with agriculture. He
didn't want anything in my line ex.
eept advice =.
Stranger says he, hard work and
me don't agree. want to strike
something easy. I'm thinking of let
ting it be known that l have struck
natural gas on the farm and selling
out for a big price,
But have your l asked.
No. but could fool 'em' ....-.-..-
Il told him that he couldn't work
no such racket-that he would have
to show the gas before anyone would
by. and he then said:
Wouldn't it be the same with
eoal?'
~ might pretend had an iron
mine in that hill
You'd have to show the ore
HE suggested two or three other
impossible schemes on which had to
throw cold water, and finally, in des.
peration, he said:
Stranger, il you've got any brains
Ia your head give me pinter on how
70 git along without work.
Have you any daughters?
Four of 'em b'gosh!'
HAS each one got beau?'
1.-TWO or three apiece
"'Then let them bring suits for
breach of promise and the money will
come rolling in faster than YOU can
count it. It's sure thing with jury,
and any lawyer will take the case on
shares. That's why am in the light
ming rod Observation-Disclosures l have no
daughters
'Shake!' says the man. holding out
his paw. You are smartern chain
lightning, and I'm fool That's the
way-of course it is. and if you come
back this way this week you'll hear
that my gals have got four breach of
promise suits on band and arc lookin'
Tor more!'"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-10-25
What Mary Said.

Judge Brewer cites a striking exam
pie of the sort of spoke which the
trickster can insert in the wheels of
justice.
A witness testified in certain case
that a person named Mary was pres
ent when particular conversation
took place. and the question was
asked: What did Mary say?" This
was objected to, and after some dis
cussion the judge ruled out the ques-
ton. An exception to this decision
was Immediately taken, and on appeal
the higher court reversed the verdict
and ordered new trial on the ground
that the question should have been an
swered.
At the second trial the same inquiry
was propounded and elected the IN
formation that Mary sal dnothing.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-10-25
Didn't Want New Money.

Merchants Of the far west are sus.
picious of brand-new paper money, &C.
cording to a compositor employed at
the government printing Office at
Washington. When he received his
money for leave and back pay it was
delivered to him just as, 1t was. re.
ceived from the treasury by the pay.
master.
when I planned to spend my vaca.
ton with the folks in my home state
west Of old Big Muddy L thought to
surprise them by having only brand.
new money" he said in telling the
story, land consequently was careful
not to fold 1t. After T had been about
the little town for a few hours, felt
of my chin and concluded to get a
shave. The barber did not know me,
and when took a bright new dollar
out Of my bill book he took it gingerly
and turned it over and over. This all
you got? he asked. was amused at
his greenness, and said there we're
more where that came from, and took
the whole fiat bundle out of my
pocket and told him to take his choice,
Where did you come from, man?' he
asked, and to. save time I had to tell
him I was from Washington and
worked for Uncle Sam.
For three days it was the same
story wherever I went. Merchants
were so used to ragged and; dirty bills
that resemb1ed dish rags that they
looked with suspicion on brand-new
money that had never been folded. In
the end went to a. bank and explained
the situation and asked; to have the
new bills exchanged for the kind the
natives were used to. And even the
cashier did not like the proposition
one bit. It was some time before I
could convince him, with the aid; Of
several letters happened to have. in
my pocket, that I was not a green
goods artist with nerve enough to try
the game on a, country bank. Never
again will try to- act as If the gov.
eminent turned out money for my
especial benefit
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-10-25
A Warm Bath.

A young man wnnt into a restaurant
and ordered roast beef, coffee and
rolls. In a few minutes trim little
waitress tripped up with the order.
AZ she turned to leave the young man
discovered that the meat was about
% cold as a refrigerator.
Il don't care for cold beef" he said
II should like to have It hot"
The young woman ttok the plate,
and. going to the dumb waiter shaft,
Ahouted down: "Hortense, want this
meat hot; pour some warm gravy on
IT,"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-10-25
Making a Good Beginning.

lar MacLaren. the novelist and cler-
gyman who died recently, was once
talking to a group Of literary begin
ners in New York
Begin your stories WE'LL" he said,
emphatically. There's nothing like a
good beginning. Indeed, it's half the
battle"
Then, with smile, he added:
Always bear in mind the case Of
the young man who, desiring to marry,
secured a favorable hearing from his
sweetheart's irascfble father by open
ing the interview with the words:
Il know way, sir, whereby you
can save money!"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-10-25
Making 4 Noise.

Citiman-I've always understood Il
was exceedingly quiet out you way.
Subbubs-It used to be, but there's
n newcomer in our street who ilisturbs
us greatly, these warm nights. He In
sists upon sitting out on the porch nm.
til 10 o'clock, when everybody else is
in bed, and then he winds his watch
right there where everybody can hear
it. fItsaal. .ttl4.l sfits. illsla 50 aii8fetl.l1
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-10-25

Wa Impaired and the Honey secro-
tons were badly disordered. I Was
completely worn out and discouraged
when I began using Deans kidney
Pills, -bat they went right to the cause
Of the trouble and did their work well.
I have been feeling well ever since"
Sold By all dealers. 80 cents . bo1
TosterMilburn Co. Buffalo. N. Z.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-10-25

The energy a small boy expends Al
ball game would cultivate an acre Of
potatoes is attached to the end Of 4
hoe handle. + 81 7
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-10-25

dve months In q hos.
pital I was dis
charged a. incurable.
and given only, nix
months to live. MY
heart was affected. I
had SIN tn e.rinO
spells, and some
times fell uncons
scious. I got 20 !
couldn't use my
arms, my eyeSiRhe
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-10-25
FIv9 MONTHS IN aospiTAI.
Discharged Bseauss Doctors Could NJ
'S scure. N

. Levi P. Brockway, 8. Second Ava.
Anoka., MINI, says: after lying for
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-10-25

A touchy disposition often goes with
q tough heart.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-10-25
Pretty Fair Advice,

Pretty Fair Advice.
Mrs. Benham-You should say moth.
Ing but good Of the dead.
Benham-That doesn't mean that
you should say nothing but bad of the
living.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-10-25

A little care for others is worth .
lot of prayer for them.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-10-25
CHAPTER VII.

I It was 5 o'clock on Saturday after.
noon. ard Mrs. Cheney and the little
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-10-25

"GOLD SEAL, ovERsHoEs
are warmest, wear longest. II your dealer
does not have them, apply to Goodyear
Rubber Co.. st. Paul. MINI.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-07-07

only three thousand attended regularly. | Six schools, one of them colored, had l libraries. One had pictures, three had | maps, one had manual training and was struggling almost hopeIessly to raise funds to continue the work. All Of the houses, except four, were good, and most
 of them were new, The majority of the teachers were doing faithful work. The small average attendance seemed due to | ignorant parents and inefficient coni- mitteemen.
 "One month we drove 250 miles, visited l thirty-four schools, attended teachers institutes, talked to teachers, children,
 committeeman and parents, trying to inn press upon all the necessity for libraries. clean school houses, pictures. maps and
 blackboards on the walls, and neat and | attractive grounds.
 We begged that windows be washed
 and stoves polished, that door mats and
 wood boxes be provided. and that old papers and boxes be thrown Into the fire instead of out of doors. We endea V l ored by every means in our power to in- lerest the people themselves in their
 schools, for until they are interested no improvement can be permanent. Thirty two of the thirty-four promised to inn
 prove houses and grounds and thus win the set of pictures promised by the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-07-07

the teacher and children who are working to improve it, Is published in the local papers, and copies are sent to all inter ested This is very important, as it en- courages the teachers and brings about a good natured rivalry as to which one shall have the best report. If it is im- possible to praise a school, we say sim DIV that it was visited. that is all; but 1t is enough Every one knows what that means.
 Now. of course, this takes work and time but if properly managed 1t can be done without disarranging the house. hold machinery.
 'Tn Caldwell county eighteen schools obtained libraries Cleveland county or gaIized an association which affected all the public school $50 being received for improvements. Twelve libraries were established and twelve houses were im- proved the value of which was increased from $500 to $5O00. In Columbus thirty schools were improved. Two Of them raised $50 for pictures. Cumberland re- ported that every school in the county was reached, and that $75 was given for improvements. In Dare a large number of pictures were placed in the schools, $150 raised for libraries and $50 for other Improvements. An enthusiastic branch was reported from Greene affecting thir- ty-flVe schools. ne dSSocidiioh iaisch $50 for libraries and $115 for other im- provements. In Henderson every woman teacher in the county was member or the association all the schools were reached, and $6O raised for libraries. Mad ison reported $1145 for pictures, $55 for libraries and $250 for other Improvements. In Rockingham there was large associa- tion. affecting seventy-two schools They raised $50 for other improvements.
 ha five hundred niCt11rpG were hung on the walls of the public school houses and twelve libraries were established. Two houses valued at s23oO were built. Sampson county reported that sixty schools were affected by the association; s10 raised for pictures, s257 for libraries, and s15o0 for other improve ments. Libraries were placed in twelve schools and two hundred pictures were hung.
 "In surry county an association was organized with seventy-fve members. Every school in the county was reached.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-07-07

brought their pennies to help swell the
 fund.
 Sometimes the women's clubs, hearing
 of an especial needy section, would give
 a set of books; one library was given Ill
 memory of q dead friend who had been
 particularly interested in the work. Here
 q little and there d little, the schools
 have been snplied with reading matter
 until now instead of six libraries, as m
 1JJ2, there are sixty in 1907.
 With magazines the work is easier Friends and foes have been asked to give
 their old magazines, pictures, calendars
 and pretty advertisements. These are
 sorted into bundles and given to tine teachers at their monthly meetings. The pictures are placed on the bare walls, the magazines are placed on the tables where the children can ge them. Then when , visiting schools we take them papers and magazines.
 with d fortune of ten dollars in our treasury, we bought pictures of the na- tive birds and placed them in each school house. The children had their choice of pictures of places, people or birds, and they chose the birds. When children have done extra good work in cleaning the yard we give the school a nicely framed picture Should the teacher alone do the work the picture is given to her. The question of beautifying the grounds has not held a prominent place because other things needed to be done first Then, too, the houses are generally in d grove. which makes the lawn almost in- possible, and as the schools last only from October until February. there aie no flowers What can be done, however. IS being done.
 .'We have visited schools in the morn- ing and returning by noon, have seen the big boys grubbing stumps. the little boys gathering and burning old woods and trash. and the girls sweeping the schoo house. Later. we hope to have good walks made. and evergreens planted. Ono school celebrated the teachers sixtie:h birthday by setting out raw of trees rom the road to the school house. After each school is visited full re- port of its condition. with the names Of
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-07-07

striving for. The first presentation was made by President Roosevelt.
 Mrs. Patterson is prominent in the work of the Daughters of the American Revolution. She is one of the vice-ro- gents. In the organization of Colonial Danes she has also been most prominent. As one of the representative women of North Carolina Mrs. Patterson's work as one of the women commissioners for the Jamestown exposition is now engag- ing her patriotic interest.
 She Is one of the most charming or women socially and is famous for bril- lancy of conversation. made all the more so by her ready wit. Only recently tEe Outlook in referring to Mrs. Paterson's $ charm as a presiding officer alluded to her cleverness in bringing within tre "time' limit speakers who had a ten dency to go beyond it, her ''rulings' meeting with the approval of even tho speakers themselves, who could not fail 10 recognize the grace as well as wit which her position gave an opportunity to express in divers ways.
 Mrs Pattersons work for the better ment of public schools in the southern states will be lasting. And what she has accomplished through organization in North Carolina Is just what Alabama Is doing in its rural communities, where
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-07-07
LABOR AT PANAMA.
Unimaginstive and Literal Jamaicans
 Are Digging the Canal.

F. om the Technical World Magazine. The main trouble at the canal is to procure the right sort of labor, and this is one reason why the idea of farming out the job to contractors has been so seriously entertained. Con , tractors would furnish high-grade ex- perts to superintend the dredging, the excavating and the concrete work for the dams and locks; fin addition to which they would hire all the labor CTS required-the upshot of the ar rangement being that an immense amount of trouble would be taken from the shoulders of the government, which would merely pay all the wages and provide the food and other sup plies, as well as materials for con struction.
 But at the present time a great ma jority of the laborers are "Jamaicans," which term is made for co1loquial pur- poses, to cover negroes from various parts of the West Indies, including Jamaica, Martinique, and the Barba- does. They are exceedingly unsatis- factory, being lazy, shiftless and indis- posed to pay for enough substantial food to give them strength requisite for the work demanded of them. Consequently, the government has been driven to the expedient of giving them three square meals day as a part of their wages Even so, however, they prove wretchedly un- serviceable, a common practice of theirs being to desert the quarters pro vided for them, put up rude shacks in the edge of the forest, and content themselves with reporting for duty on three or four days out of every fort night.
 The "Jamaicans" are a very prmi- tive type of negroes-not so very far away, indeed, from the aboriginal Afri- can. Their not-distant ancestors wore no clothes, and, having for this reason no pockets, were accustomed to carry even small burdens on their heads. Thus the Jamaican on the isthmus, if entrusted with letter to be delivered, will put it upon his head. place upon 1t stone the size of a brick to hold 1t down, and in this manner will con- Vey it to It's destination
 They are remarkably unimaginatiye and literal, these Jamaicans. Not long ago an American official going oyer the Panama railroad heard the con ductor say to negro who had con fessed himself ticketless and penni- less Then you'll have to get off this carl" The black fellow Immediately walked to the rear of the car and jumped off, though the train was going thirty miles an hour.
 In another instance the negro fore man of a gang working on tempor- ary railroad in the Culebra cut delib- erately left switch open, allowing an engine to run off the track and plunge down an embankment When asked why he had not obeyed his orders. which were to flag any train that ap- preached. he replied: You told me to flag train, sah, but dis was locomo- tive!"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-07-07

Go see new Billiard Parlor, 2O28 Second Avenue.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-07-07

Twenty-three new houses were built. in creasng the valuation from $12O0 to s57o0. Wake reported an active association, af- fecting fifty percent of the schools. In Wayne an association was organized with 230 active members and fifteen associate members. and fifteen associate members.
 During the year forty-three schools weer reached. The association raised S7o for pictures $464 for libraries, s120 for other Improvements, rung 2o6 framed pie lures, and helped to establish forty-one libraries.
 "Is that worth while? And it is only the old, old story of organization, each woman doing what she can, be 1t ever so little, but each working in unison with d definite purpose. giving only the odd spare moments that do occasionally come even to busy housekeepers. If you thinK it is worth while I beg you will join this organization and do your share towards wiping out the stigma of southern ilit- eracy."
 Luckie Tent No. publicly installed or ficers on Tuesday evening as follows:
 Past commander, W. C. Cunningham; commander, J. w. Tewksbury; lieutenant commander, J. c. Wilcox; record keeper, w. B. Copeland; seargent, w. c. Wilson, chaplain, s. E. Willoughby; master at arms, J. A. Whtehurst; first master or guards, F. M. Yielding: second master of guards, J. D. Pound; Picket, J. D. Douithitt: sentinel, l.. E. Butler.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-07-07
Quickly Earned Bounty.
!e Minneapolis Journal.

From the Minneapolis Journal
 Elmer Dean of Hassan spent Tuesday afternoon killing wolves. Yesterday he exhibited eight belts in the county auditors office and drew $24 as the result of his afternoons work.
 The eight wolves which were killed by Dean were all members of one family and they were all cubs. Dean stumbled on them as he was walking through the woods. not twenty miles from Minneapolis and as he was armed with a shotgun he made quick work of the family.
 The mother of the cubs was seen by Dean. but she did not come within gun shot.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-07-07
|l!l1;3lE!ysS.s!|Il|
Round Trip S26.4O Round Trip

Elks and friends to join them on this trip Special sleepers. Plenty of refreshments, and a good time guaranteed all who go with us. Sleeping car diagram and gen. eral management of train in hands of J. M Rltson, with the B. R. l.. & P. Co.,. and Dr. 8. A. Miller.
 For tickets and detailed information ap- ply CITY TICKET OFFICE.
 1925 First Avenue, Birmingham. Ala.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-07-07
To Calculate Your Longevity.

From the New Orleans Times-Democrat
 Bacon took a deep interest in longevity and it's earmarks,'' said physician, and Bacon's signs of long life and of short life are as true today as they ever were.
 You won't live long, Bacon pointed out, if you have soft, fine hair, a fine skin. quick growth. large head, early cor pulence, short neck, small mouth, brittle and separated teeth and fat ears.
 Your life, barring accidents, will be very lengthy if you have slow growth. coarse hair, a rough skin deep wrinkles in the forehead, firm flesh, large mouth, wide nostrils, strong teeth, set close to- gether, and a hard, gristly ear"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-07-07
Special Rates
 VIA
s.syssss-ns1s.r -s.s- ssrrassnx-u<
 N jI'5I) 5DI)Ss|||' k l'il'I1|| lAsElSdzHla Sls


Mexico City, Mcx., and return S4SOg
 Account Annual Meeting, American Society Civil Engineers the 1. 8. M. will sell round trip tickets June Is, to July Il, final limit September 18th. Philadelphia, Pm, and return . . y26.4g
 Account B. F. o. F.. tickets will be sold July Il to II. inclusive. limited July 23rd. privilege of extension July 31st sL00.
 Saratoga Springs, N. Y., and
 return. ,.. ... ...... .. $20.3O 7
 Account TrienG'al Conclave Knights Templars tickets will be sold July End to 7th, inclusive. final limit July 18th with privilege of extension to July 24th, S1.00.
 Seattle, Wash., and return. ..... S7O.25 Spokane, Wash., and return. .. S8275
 Account B. Y. P. T. and Christian Endeavor round trip tickets will be sold June 18th to July 11th. inclusive. final limit September 18th. Seashore Camp Grounds and
 Tickets will be sold July eth to August 4th, inclusive, account Sea shore Camp Meeting, limited 20 days from date of sale with privilege of extension.
 Chnutnuqua Lake, N. Y., and
 return .................. .S26.0O
 Special Excursions to Chautauqua Lake, N. Y, July 4th and 18th. Tickets sold July 4th limited to return August 9th, and tickets sold July 25th limited August 27th.
 For particulars and further infor- nation also information regarding Homeseekers rates to the West write to or call on F. Sid Jones, D. P. A. or R. G. Pierce. T. P. A.. both phones. S25 Birmingham, Ala.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-07-07

Youths Companion to any school so doing.
 "A number of schools set to work at once to raise funds for a small library. The teachers got up entertainments and charged ten cents admission; they gave lawn parties and sold refreshments after school hours; they walked miles going from patron to patron asking for small sums to add to the precious hoard.
 "The children did their share; they picked up chips and fed the pigs and washed dishes and tended the baby ana
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-07-07

"You can form, too, an indea of the very great assistance the Woman's Bei- terment association can be to the schools of the southern states by the report of what has been done in ours," says Mrs. Patterson. Tn my own county, Forsyth. when we began work in 1902, we found the county had seventy schools and eight
 thousand scholars, and of that numb.