davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1907-05-07
HONEST ABE, u. S. N.
Tries His Hand at Verse Again
and Makes a Hit.
POETIZES THREE WEDDINGS.

And Is Given the Glad Hand by Those
He Aided In Their Lovemaking.
Picked as Next President of the
United States.
copyright. 1906, by E. c. Parcells.l
| learned almost as soon as l had
started out On my route the other day
that there had been doings at the
house of Farmer Johnson, and when |
got along there it was to find the farm
er waiting at the gate and to call out
to me:
ABE, you've got to come in and have
a glass Of hot cider and a bite Of the
wedding cake. Mary and Joe Holmes
was married the other day"
"ShOo. You don't tell me-"
Eyes, sir; married as slick as grease
and are now as happy a. two yearling
colts. They've gone to town today to
see about the furniture, but you must
come in and give US some Of that poetry
of yours. They want it to start out in
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1907-05-07
His OnlY Say.

In a rural Justices court the defend
ant in a Gaze was sentenced to serve
thirty Ga-s il jail. He bad known the
judge from bOyh0Od and addressed
him as follows:
BILL. old hoy, you're agwine ter send
me ter jail, air YOU"
"Thats what" replied the judge,
Have you got anything to say agin
it,"
Only this here, Bill. God help you
when | git out,'-News.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1907-05-07

ed to ask me about q money order. I
got down from my cart and went in.
Her old man sat at the stove toasting
his Sims. and they both greeted me
with smiles as | entered.
whats up" / asked as they con-
tinued TO smile and chCckle.
Hist. They are up therew whisper
ed the farmer as he pointed 10 the
ceiling.
What do you ~mean-rats?"
Rats be hanged! l mean Will
Bones and our Sarah. Didn't you
hear they got married day before yes
terday:'
"N-n-O"
Just got j'ined together and made
one, and you never saw a rooster and
hen more happy. Help yourself TO the
fodder there. We didn't make much
Of a spread. but you'll find currsnt
wine and sweet cake"
But why aren't they down here to
be congratulated l asked.
Natural modesty, Abe, natural mod
esty. When ma shook the rag TO bring
you in they both busted upstairs. Now.
about the poetry"
What poetry"
Don't ask questions. but sit down
and turn the crank. Do you think we
are going to let such an event as this
pass without some of your poetry?
Why, you wrote us eight verses the
time our old COW got mired IN the
swamp"
William and Sarah.
Thus appealed to, | sat down and
wrote:
Twas William Bones and Sarah Jones
Who Sunday went a-walking;
They wandered here, they wandered
there;
OF love they were attacking.
Twas William Bones and Sarah Jones
Who reached the raging river,
And as they gazed uron its flood
They shivered a cold shlver.
Twas William Bones and Sarah Jones
While gazing on the water
Got nearer to the rivers bank
Than anybody orter.
Then William Bones and Sarah Jones
They took a sudden header.
The bank caved ms splash, a scream;
Twas into this he led her.
But WILTON Bones caught Sarah Jones
In arms that never faltered
And brought her safely to the shore,
And thus was Cupid haltercd.
Then William Bones and Sarah Jones
Knew hat the IoTcd each other,
And m~atrI:rony followed, and
The ones the same as tOther.
Now, William Bones and Sarah Jones
They could have done no better,
But for that plunge into the stream
They'd never got no wetter.
Say, ma" whispered the husband
as l finished reading the verses and
looked up. do YOU know who's goirE
to he the next president of he United
States"
Honest Abe, OF course" she prompt
ly replied.
You bet toHr black stockings! ARA
you get f0Ur rolls of butter out Ct
the cellar for him to take along with
him. Butter and poetry jest fit each
N. QUAD.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1907-05-07

Let me mail you free, to prove merit
samples of my DR.. Shops RestOra-
tive, and my book on either dyspepsia,
the heart, or the kidneys. Address
me, DR.. ShOOp, Rachine, Wis. TrOu-
bles Of the stomach, heart or kidneys
are merely symptoms of a deeper all
ment Don't make the common error
Of treating symptoms only. Symptom
treatment is treating the result of
your ailment and not the cause. Weak
stomach nerveS-the inside nerves
means stomach weakness, always.
And the heart and kidneys as we'll.
have their controlling or inside nerves
Weaken these nerves and you inevita-
bly, have weak vital organs. Here is
where DR.. ShoOpe's Restorative has
made its fame. No other remedy ever
claimed to treat the inside nerve AL
SO for bIoating, b~iliousness, bad breath
or complexion, use Dr.. Shops Resto-
rative. Write for my free book now.
DR.. Shops Restorative sold by Robert
r. Bellamy.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1907-05-07

life w:Ih. Bath OF 'em said hat it
woAl~. be as good as a hundred dollars
il ash"
Zoe and Mary.
went in. aIG. feeling in the humGr
for it, | CRANK the CIDER. ate the cak"
Il Dashed oil the following:
Joe Holmes and Mary Johnson, afte.
C~curti~G f" d ear,
Have bee3 wed b. OLD Squire jackson
hard and ta3t.
There's an end OF nights of sparkling, with
Cupid fer their cheer,
And the period of the gumdrop it has
passed.
No longer hands a-squeezing, no longer
does he VOW
That she's a heavenly angel all bot
wings.
actly how
He's going to face the racket marriage
brings.
He'll have to hump and hustle and get a
move on him.,
And by and by there'n come a red faced
babe,
A teeuty weenty infant with much amaz-
ing vim,
And of course no name will fit him but
that Of Honest Abe.
Farmer Holmes shook my hand and
winked and his wife shook my hand
and smiled when the verses were read
to them, and after another glass of
cider l took my departure, feeling that
it was good to have been born a poet.
A mile farther down the road l found
Farmer Kent mending a fence. There
was a grin on his face as I came up,
and after a moment he said:
ABE, they've gone and lone it."
"Who? What?"
Sarah and jim Ward. l guess you
knew they was in love and acting like
two mushrooms
You don't mean they have commit
ted suicide.''
Nav! Got married three days ago
and have gone I'VE to his sisters on
their bride tower. l don't know what
a bride or a tower has to do with it,
but that's what they call it, l believe"
well, Jim's a steady young fellow"
I said.
"Yes; he'll have to do. | sorter want
ed Sarah to marry a windmill man
and bring some style into the family,
but maybe it's just as we'll to have
Jim. Say. they left special word for
you, and we might as we'll go to the
house. They've got to have some
poetry IN to it. Can't get out Of il,
Abe-can't possibly do it."
Jim and Sarah.
Fifteen minutes later I had left be |
hind me at the house the following !
poetic efusion, which I entitled The
Exciting and Ungrammatical Romance |
of Two Loving Souls !
They fell in love at spelling school, |
Jim Ward and Sarah Kent,
And Cupi shot an arrow that |
Through both their hearts it went.
He loved her for her big blue eyes;
She loved him for his smile, |
And for a year and maybe more
Young Cupid did beguile. ,
They vowed they'd never loved before:
They vowed and went asunder;
They Quarreled, as all lovers do,
And raised a lot Of thunder.
But love was there, I'm glad to say, [
And brought them back to reason;
Their hands before the preacher clasp
ed, |
And marriage in due season.
Here's hoping every luck for them!
May children ten surround them;
May Cupid smile and wink as cute
AS when his darts first found them.
The next stopping place was at
Farmer ,IOnAg' Hfs wffa waved n red 4
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1907-05-07
New Church for Durham.

West Durham is to have a hand
some Episcopal church. 1t will be a
Erwin in memory Of his father and
mother. Plans have been made and
accepted, the contract let and the
church will be completed, according
to present programme, by September
Or October. It will o $6,000.-Dur-
ham Herald.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1907-05-07

After June II the President will be
officially resting" But gentlemen
Hooking for trouble will find it COM
paratlvely to get unoficially
swatted.-Washington Post.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1907-05-07
4 Narrow EScaDe,

G. W. Cloyd, a merchant, of PUNK,
Mo. had a narrow escape four years
ago, when he ran, a jimson bur into
his thumb. He says: The doctor
wanted to amputate it but I would not
consent. I bought a bottle of Bucklen's
Arnica SalVe and that cured the dan
gerous wound" Is cents at r. r. Bel
lamy's drug store
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1907-05-07

We deride children for crying for
the noon. We grown-ups have no
use for a moon, but strive for other
impossible things.-St. Louis Globe
Democrat.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1907-05-07

Piles get quick and certain relief
from DR.. Shops Magis Ointment.
Please note it is made alone for piles,
and it's action is positive and certain.
Itching, painful, protruding or blind
piles disappear like magic by its use.
Large n~ickel-capped glass jars so cents
Sold by Robert r. Bellamy.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1907-05-07

CONGRESSMAN MEEHISoN CONfMENDS PCRU-NA.
81 ave uScd several battles of Peru7a and I feel greatly be1cfnhdS
: thereby fro my caEarrh Of tie head / feel ENCOURAGED to believe that If?
{ use ita short line longer 7 VIII be fully able 20 eradicate the disease OK
( thirty years stGrdEgG "--DaVld Neekison.
OTHER REMARKABLE CURES.
Mr. Jacob I" Davis, GaIena, Stone county,, Mo, writes: "I ave been in bad
al cured." Mr.. A E Kidd, we1-known architect, 5E7 jefferson Ave, Chicago,
Ill., writes: 81 have had catarrh overh half Of my life. I tred nearly everyc ahrrh
remedy advertised. beside a great many physicians treatments, all of which
failed. 1 had hearda an read fPeruna and decided to ty ii. I have taken sever
bottles oft n weigh III pounds"
A SINCERE RECOMMENDATION.
Mr.. D.. c Prosser, r. + D. Nc. 2 Shelby, Oceana Co., Mich, Lwrhes: "Two years
go w. badly afictedw with cahrrho of he stomach. I had had a III O. typhoid
fever,w vas cry depleted. / conld find nothing I could eat without causing dis
trss nd ~ur Gtoaace- FINALLY came TO the conclusion thatI had catarrho of
the stomach and seelng Peruna advertised, began to take it,. 1t helped me oon
nc after taxing tec or VI bottles l wase entirely cured Of stomach trouble
BIZ can low ca = y IlLT."
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1907-05-07

There was a very different kind of
music at Fortress Monroe a few years
back. And we are all glad that it was
so very different.-Chicago Inter-
Ocean.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1907-05-07

Japan and Russia have signed a
fisheries treaty. There Is no better
way to cultivate cordial relations than
going together and taking the cor
dlai along-Atlanta Journal.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1907-05-07

We are glad President Roosevelt ad-
mitted that southern civilization is
older than that Of New England or
New York. 1t is still better for its
age.-Atlanta Journal.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1907-05-07
SPECIAL TRAIN
United Confederate Veterans Reunion,
RichRlOnd. Va, May 2Otn to June
2r6 1907

O6us iOOIs
The S~eaboard, having secured the
Raleigh, Durham and Charlotte camps
of Confederate Veterans for their line
to the reunion, have decided to operate
special train, leaving Charlotte at 500
a. m. morning Of May G9th, passing
Raleigh about nOOD arriving Rich
mOnd carly in the afternoon of same
date. camp from Durham leaving on
No. 23S at 1925 a. m, connecting with
this special at Henderson. Tickets will
be good to return until June 18th, but
NAV be extended until July 9Th by de-
posting ticket with special agent. The
following round trip. rates Will apply:
Charlotte $500. Monroe $3.50, WadeS-
bOrO Sass, Hamlet $5.25, Sanford
$4.25, Raleigh, $40, Durham $685.,
Henderson $3.50 and Oxford $3.50.
Rates on same basis will apply from
other points III addition to the above.
Tickets Will be old May 26th to June
End and are good on regular ain
The SeabOard has double daily service
from all points to Richmond. Tickets
returning Will he good direct from
it not being ne
CeSSarY for those who desire to at
tend the exposition to return through
Richmond. For further information
in regard to schedules, etc, apply to
the undersigned.
c. II. GATTIS,
Travelling Passenger Agent,
Raleigh, N. c.
L. O. REAVIS.
City Ticket Agent, Wilmington, N. c.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1907-05-07

We not, incidentally, that while the
Indians seem to be doing very we'll
in the running races they are winning
very few moving machines.-TCneka
Capital.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1907-05-07
DeWitt's Carbolized Witch Haze

DeWitt's Carbolized Witch Hazel
Salve does not merely heal on the sur
face; it p~enetrates the pores and
promptly relieves pain caused by boils.
burns, scalds. cuts and skin diseases.
it is especially good for piles. Beware
of limitations. Sold by Robt. r. Bel
lamy. ssaiE
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1907-05-07

A healthy man is a king in his own
an unhealthy man is an un-
happy slave. BurdOck Blood Bitters
builds up sound health-keeps you
well.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1907-05-07
Our Best Society.

Governess On smart set family
Why, how loving you children are!
Such affection between brother and
sister Is delightful TO see
Olive-Yes'm. We're playin' grown
ups. I'm the husband an Barbara,
she's the maid.-Puck.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1907-05-07

Captain1y D. T. Cron1y. OF Columbia.
S. c.. is spending a short while In the
city with relatives, ;ts,. :
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1907-05-07

L. {. REAVIS.
City Ticket Agent, Wilmington, N. C.
till my 25
Las Vegas daily optic., 1907-04-04
The Turner Art Exhibit.

When? April 1913. Where? The
Banquet hall on Douglas avenue.
You are interested In 1t. you say.
Yes. Of course you are. You ask:
How can help the exhibit" You
can help the exhibit In some of the
following ways: You can buy q tick
ct and go to the exhibit. With the
money for the ticket the East Las
Vegas school will buy pictures at 25
per cent reduction. You can buy 4
picture for your own house or office.
Three-fourths of what you pay goes
to the company and the schools use
the other fourth to buy pictures You
can make a donation. If you donate
s6 the school will buy sS worth OF
pictures with 1t. II the corporation
OF which you are a member will do
nate $50 the schools will buy $40
worth Of pictures.
When you come to look at the pic.
lures and enjoy the program some
one will be In charge to serve you az
you help the schools In some of the
above ways.
Las Vegas daily optic., 1907-04-04
Dance at Rosenthai hall Saturday
evening. Ladies' free.

F. W. Brown of the South and
West Land company has arrived In
the city from Chicago and states that
the company will not bring any home
seekers to Las Vegas today as the
excursion was given up at the last
moment on account of the threat of
big railroad strike. There will be
an exceptionally big excursion two
weeks from today. n. A. Morley's
people will arrive today, but 1t Is not
known how large the party is.
Las Vegas daily optic., 1907-04-04
Why not have your family washing
Rough Dried

with the nuisance
table cloths napkins oned Starch clothes
IRON. We will be glad to send price list.
COLLAR CUFF work te beat
Las Vegas daily optic., 1907-04-04

The funeral of Lucille Westerman,
the thirteen.months-old daughter OF
Mr.. and Mrs. Fred Westerman, was
held this morning at 10 o'clock at the
residence at 91S Douglas avenue, Rev.
Norman Skinner, pastor of the First
Presbyterian church, officiating. The
services were private. only the inti-
mate friends of the family being pres.
ont. Tnterment was in the Masonic
cemetery.
Las Vegas daily optic., 1907-04-04

Manager Blood of the Duncan OPP
era house, has secured Mrs. Harri-
son Gray Fiske for May 2sth, under
an $500 guarantee. She will posi-
lively appear In this city. Reserv-
ed seats will be sold at $500. He
has also received telegram stating
that Mary Mannering wants the date
of May 21st In Las Vegas, but no
conditions we're named. Las Vegas
theater-goers will be pleased to
learn OF the treat In store for them.
Manager Blood has succeeded In
booking some of the finest attrac-
tions that have ever made Las Vegas
during this season.
Las Vegas daily optic., 1907-04-04

Judge John r. McFie In the first
judicial district court at Santa Fe
this week handed down a writ of
mandamus In the case of Page B.
Otero versus w. G.. Sargent, territor-
ial auditor. Under the writ the au'
ditor Is directed to pay to Otero the
sum of $500, which the last legisla-
ture appropriated in payment of de-
ficiencies accruing in his admins
tration a. territorial game and fish
warden.
Las Vegas daily optic., 1907-04-04

Witnesses are being heard today
at Estancia In the contest Instituted
against Delegate W. Fl. Andrews for
his seat In congress by Octaviano A.
Larrazola of this city Attorney +.
c, Abbott of Santa Te, Is acting as
attorney for the contestee at this
hearing.
Las Vegas daily optic., 1907-04-04

The E. Romero Hose and Fire COM
pany will hold their regular monthly
meeting tomorrow evening at 8
O'Clock. All members are urged to
be present. as business of Importance
will come before the meeting.
Las Vegas daily optic., 1907-04-04

The Ladies' Library association viii
give a shirt waist dance at the Dun
can opera house Monday evening as
u benefit for the Carnegie library.
The general public cordially invited.
Las Vegas daily optic., 1907-04-04

B. 8. Jackson, who Is connected
with the Chas. Ilfeld company at VIII
ard. was In the city yesterday AM
states that the town IL on the boom.
and that 15O cars of emigrants have
been distributed through the Estan-
cia valley in the last few months.
Las Vegas daily optic., 1907-04-04

A few dollars deposited each month
In the Plaza Trust & Savings Bank
win send your boy to college. Worth
doing. isn't It? Think 1t over. 4.6
Las Vegas daily optic., 1907-04-04
LOCAL news
Turner Art Exhibit April 1918.
Commercial club dance tonight.

The Queen Esther circle viii hold
an open meeting ani social In the
NJ. Il. Church pariors tonight at s
O'Clock. All are invited.
Las Vegas daily optic., 1907-04-04

"The Soreerer," given under the au-
spices Of the Y. NJ. c. A., April 18th
Reserve your seats at once. 3-100
Las Vegas daily optic., 1907-04-04

FOR SALE At a bargain, two
small houses on Eighth street. Har-
ris Real Estate Company. 4-29
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-12-20
Administrators Notice.

Estate of Emma P. Carter, deceased.
The undersigned, having been APP
pointed administrator of the estate of
Emma p. Carter. late of the county of
Rock Island, state of Illinois, deceased.
hereby gives notice that he will appear
before the county court of Rock Island
county, at the county court room, in
the city of Rock Island, at the Febru-
airy term, on the first Monday in Feb
ruary next. at which time all persons
having claims against said estate are
notified and requested to attend for the
purpose of having the same adjusted.
All persons indebted to said estate are
requested TO make immediate payment
IN tho 80 = sr<f >Hi...
= ies-c~ undersigned. ss..r,her n
Dated 9Th day of Deef 80 -. =.
1907. WILLIAM JACKSON,
Administrator.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-12-20
Administrators Notice.

Estate of Thomas Moore, deceased.
The undersigned having been ap-
pointed administrator of the estate of
Thomas Moore, late of the county of
Rock Island, state of Illinois, deceased.
hereby gives notice that he will appear
before the county court of Rock Island
county, at the county court room, in
the city of Rock Island, at the Febru-
airy term, on the first Monday in Feb
ruary next. at which time all persons
having claims against said estate are
notified and requested TO attend for the
purpose of having the same adjusted.
All persons indebted to said estate are
requested to make immediate payment
to the undersigned.
Dated 10th day of December. A. d.
1907. ABSALOM G. OLDHAM.
Administrator.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-12-20
Sherif's Sale.

By virtue of an execution. issued out
of the clerks office of the circuit court
of Rock Island county, and state of
Illinois, to me directed, whereby ! am
commanded to make the amount of a
lcertain Judgment recently obtained
against Cathrina z. Wivill, in favor of
the Mueller Lumber company, out of
lands, tenementS, goods and chattels of
the said Cathrina Z. Wivill, i have lev
led on the following described property
to-wit: Lot No. ten C0), in the west
half of the southwest quarter of sec
ton No. three go, township No. sew
enteen 40, north of range No. two
CD. west of the 4th principal meridian:
also lot No. eight go, in the southwest
quarter of section No. three 90, town
ship No. seventeen GO, north of range
| No. two CD. west of the 4th principal
| meridian; all in Rock Island county, in
the state of Illinois.
| Therefore according to said command.
II shall expose for sale at public auc-
| ton, all the right. title and interest of
/ the above named Cathrina Z. Wivill in
and to the above described property. at
10 o'clock a m, on Monday, the 30th
| day of December, 1907, at the east door
of the court house, In Rock Island.
| Dated at Rock Island, ILL.,, this third
| day of December, 1907.
| EDWARD KITTILSEN,
| Sheriff of Rock Island County.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-12-20

| State of Illinois. Rock Island Coun-
ity-ss:
In the Circuit Court, Dec. 4. A. D.
cart - ;1Erederick Henry Ficken. Nan
cv EicLan Miranda Petersen. William
petersen tbS xCentral Trust & Savings
Bank as adminiStT ator OF the estate OF
Frances w Fickef. deceased, Morris RS
o'Connell, and Harry Diefn. -
Affidavit of non-residence of the de-
PENDANTS, Miranda Petersen and Will
liam Petersen, impleaded with the above
defendants, Frederick Henry Ficken,
Nancy Ficken, the Central Trust &
Savings Bank, administrator, Morris
OConnell, and Harry. Diehn. having
circuit court of said county, notice is
therefore hereby given to the said nom
resident defendants that the complain
ants filed their bill of complaint in said
court, on the chancery side thereof, on
the third day of December, 1907, and
that thereupon summons issued out
of said court, wherein said suit is now
pending, returnable on the first Mon
is by law required.
Now, unless you, the said non-resi-
dent defendants above named. shall
personally be and appear before said
next term thereof. to be holden at Rock
Island, in and for the said county, on
the first Monday in January next, and
plead, answer or demur to the said
same and the matters and things there
in charged and stated will be taken as
confessed, and decree entered against
bill. GEORGE w. GAMBLE.
Rock Island, Ill, Dec. g. 1907.
Hugh Lancaster and Albert Huber,
lcomplainants' solicitors.