The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1907-01-20

Mike rlannery, the WeStcote agent
of the Interurban Express Company
leaned over the counter of the expires.
Office and shook his fist. Mr.. More.
house. angry and red, stood on the
other side of the counter, trembling
with rage. The argument had beer
long and heated, and at last Mr.. More
house had talked himself speechless
The cause OF the trouble stood on the
counter between the two men. 1t was
a soap box across the top of which
were nailed a number of strips, form
= ing rough but serviceable cage. In
1t two spotted guinea pigs were greed
lily eating lettuce leaves.
DO as you loike, theni'' shouted
Flannery. pay for thin an take thin,
or don't pay for thin and leave thin
be. Rules is rules, Misther Morehouse,
an Mike Flannery's not goin' to be
called down fer breakin' of thim.'
But, You everlastingly stupid idiotl'
shouted Mr.. Morehouse. madly shaking
fiimsy printed book beneath the
agents nose, cant you read it here
in your own plain printed rates? Pets,
domestic, Franklin to -westcote, if
properly boxed, twenty-five cents
EACH" He threw the book on the
counter in disgust. What more do
you want? Aren't they pets? Aren't
they domestic? Aren't they properly
boxed? WHAT"
He turned and walked back and forth
rapidly, frowning ferociously. Sudden
ly he turned to Flannery, and forcing
his voice to an artificial calmness spoke
slowly. but with intense sarcasm.
Pets he said. pets, Twenty
five cents each. There are two of them.
One! TwoI Two times twenty-five are
fifty! Can you understand that? 1
offer you fifty cents"
Flannery reached for the book. He
ran his hand through the pages and
stopped at page sixty-four.
AN 1 dent take fifty cints," he
whispered in mockery. Here's the rule
for ut. 'Whin the agint be In amy
doubt regardin' which of two rates ap-
plies to shipmint, he shall charge the
larger. The consign-ey may file a
claim for the overcharge. In this case
Misther Morehouse, be in doubt. Pets
thin animals may be, an domestic
they be, but pigs, I'm blame sure they
do be, an me rules says plain as the
nose on yer face, Pigs, Franklin to
Westcote. thirty cints each. An Mis-
Their Morehouse, by me arithmetical
knowledge two times thirty comes to
sixty cints."
Mr.. Morehouse shook his head saw
agely.
..Nonsensep' he shouted, COMPOUNDED
nonsense. tell you, Why, you poor
ignorant foreigner, that rule means
guinea pigs!"
FIannery was stubborn.
"Pigs is pigs" he declared firmly,
Guinea pigs, or dago pigs or Irish pigs
is all the same to the Interurban Ex-
press Company an to Mike F'lannery.
tn nationality of the pig creates no
differentiality in the rate, Misther
Morehouset 'Twould be the same was
they Dutch pigs or Rooshun pigs. Mike
F1annery," he added, lis here to tind
TO the expriss business an not to hould
wild dago pigs in sivinteen
languages fer to discover be they Chi
nese or Tipperary by birth an nativ-
ity.''
Mr. Morehouse hesitated. He bit his
lip and then flung out his arms wildly
VERY wellI" he shouted, you shall
hear Of this, Your president shall hear
of this 1t is an outrage! / have Of
fered You fifty cents. You refuse it!
Keep the pigs until you are ready to
take the fifty cents. but, by George,
sir. if one hair of those pigs heads is
harmed will have the law on you'll"
He turned and stalked out, slamming
the door. Flannery carefully lifted the
soap box from the counter and placed
1t in a safe place. He felt the peace
that comes to faithful servant who
has done his duty and done it well.
Mr.. Morehouse went home raging.
His boy. who had been awaiting the
guinea pigs, knew better than TO ask
him for them. He was a normal boy
and, therefore, always had guilty
conscience when his father was angry.
So the boy slipped quietly around the
house. There is nothing so soothing to
r. guilty conscience as to be out of the
path of the avenger.
Mr. Morehouse stormed into the
house.
where's the ink?" he shouted at his
wife as soon as his foot was across the
door sill.
Mrs. Morehouse jumped. guiltily. She
never used ink She had not seen the
nix. nor moved the ink, nor thought or
he ink, but her husbands tone con-
victed her OF the guilt Of having borne
and reared a boy, and she knew that
xheneyer her husband wanted any {
hing in a loud voice the boy had been
1t 1t.
'.I'r find Sammy" she said meekly.
When the ink was found Mr.. More
house wrote rapidly, and he read the
completed letter and smiled triumph {
int smile.
THAT will settle that crazy Irish