davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-01-16

No woman likes the looks of a shoe
that feels comfortable.
Nothing equals the serene self CON
tent that is an indolent persons her.
itage.
The strength of the weak lies in val.
liant display Of their weakness.
Hypocrisy is a bad imitation Of Il
good thing that takes itself seriously.
Don't make fun Of the other fellows
joke. He isn't to blame for your
density.
II pain is the price of pleasure. the
Fellow that has the toothache must
have had a glorious old tjamhoree.
The meek and lowly don't own Il big
stick.
When hunting for trouble kick some
body'S else retriever.
Don't try to be the biggest fool in
the world. Competition is too great.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-01-16

Shopper-Where Is the corset depart
ment?
Floorwalker-Straight back.
Shopper-No, straight front.-New
York Life.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-01-16
They Know the Answers.

mabel, haven't you and Mr.. Spudz
rehearsed the wedding ceremony yet:'
mo. mamma. and we are not going
to rehearse it. Sufficient unto the day
is the evil thereof."-Chicago Tribune.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-01-16
Starting Early.

II presume your baby is going to be
a campaign orator."
"What makes you think so?"
"Well. l heard him practicing all
night"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-01-16

"Iou can trust SmitherS. He's as
honest as the day is long"
DO you notice how short the days
Are getting:"-Brooklyn Life.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-01-16
Stand Off.

II thought she was going to make
him give up cigarettes"
"She thought so, too, but on looking
at her ticket she discovered she was
entitled to another think"
THAT man will drive her to chew
ing gum"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-01-16
Small Change.

"What will you give me for this
wedding ring?"
HAS the girl changed her mind
about m~arryingT"
"No; she has just changed her mind
as to the personnel Of her husband"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-01-16

JAMES II. HIGGINS. la n Is usually
counted in the Republican column.
The state went Republican except on
the governorship. The Republican can
didate for governor was the present
incumbent of the office, George H. Ut-
ter, and Higgins won against him by q
plurality Of 1928. His election was
rendered possible by the support he re-
ceived from independents organized as
Lincoln Republicans.
When Governor Elect Higgins was
first chosen mayor Of Pawtucket four
years ago, he was only twenty-six
years old and was at that time reput-
ed to be the youngest mayor In the
United States. At thirty he wins a rep
utation as the youngest governor. He
looks even younger than he is, and
when he first went before the electors
Ave years ago as a candidate for men,
Der OF the Rhode Island assembly he
seemed hardly more than n boy. At
the first rally in which he participated
he was greeted with cries Of Whose
kid are your But he showed the vot-
ers that In spite Of his youthful appear
ance he was worthy Of their trust and
was nominated the following year for
mayor Of ~Pawtucket. being three times
reelected. lie Is a graduate Of Brown
university.
In Colorado the election resulted In
the choice Of the Republican candidate
for governor. Chancellor Henry A.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-01-16
CONTRARY.

"How does your husband vote?"
II don't really know, but l presume
the Democratic ticket"
"What makes you think so?'
swell, he knows I am a Republican"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-01-16
Patrick Sheedy.
Art C0nn0iSseur
Remarkable Career Of the Retired Gambler.
Who Is Now q Picture Shap-How
Ne Recovered the StoIoa
Galnsboroua
nAT eHEEDY,r
ffnoh Oonhlop

DAT 6HEEDY.r
i tired gambler,
= epigrammatist
and art c%onnoisseur,
has become a phi
l~anthropist. He e.
says to help the
needy rich rather
than the poor. He
has Just opened in
New York an art
gallery to be con-
Quoted along novel
lines. The former
king Of the gaming
table proposes to
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-01-16
No indication.

"They turned forty people away last
night"
"Then the house must have been
crowded"
Not specially. These We're fellows
who wanted to get in on their nerve"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-01-16
PERT PARAGRAPHS.

Expert work is known chiefly by it's
high price.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-01-16

The trouble with Il woman's sense of
humor is it doesn't make the men con-
cerned feel happy.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-01-16
Gossip About
New Governors
adHO of Rhode Island, BuChtel Of Colo.
nd, Stuart Of Peaasykaala aid
Othor Nbon Who Were SuC.
,cessfu| at the Pols.

THE elecdonsst this
fall In the
states "
nors e
chosen have brought
several new men to
the front In politics.
One Of these is
James Fl. Higgins,
the hoy a y Of
P~awtucket," who
was chosen e
tive of the common
wealth Of Rhode Is
land. He was the
Democratic candi-
date, and Rhode IL
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-01-16
The strength of the weak lies in val.
ant display Of their weakness.

Hypocrisy is a bad imitation Of Il
good thing that takes itself seriously.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-05-26
sHAKEsPEARES IUNATcs

TN the recent meeting Of the Medico-
Psychological Association held in WASH
ington one Of the most interesting papers
read was by DR.. Buckley, on Shakespeares
Lunatics The entire paper is here pre-
scented by the courtesy of DR.. Buckley:
1t has been the habit for specialists to
discuss Shakespeare from the point OF
view of their specialties. A lawyer Will
show that Shakespeare was profound
lawyer, a physician that he must have
been skilled in the art of medicine, and
30 through the whole field Of human ex-
pert knowledge. His knowledge certainly
was so great that not a few investigators
and critics believe that his immortal works
were not the offspring Of one individual
mind.
Before reading a line Of Shakespeare
had become familiar with insanity and
institutions for the insane. and have been
close student Of these and allied sub
jects ever since. At a later period be-
more closely studied his plays the greater
his knowledge. penetration and power Of
picturesque and at the same time ac-
curate delineation of the particular varieties
of mental arrangement.
1t has been said by some that Shakes
peare had no opportunity Of studying in
sanity. which. If true. would make his
descriptions miraculous. In point Of fact
he had more opportunities than most men
now have unless they are within the sphere
Of institutional treatment Of the insane or
their practical treatment. There were few
hospitals. and such as they were the public
did not support them. Patients had to be
discharged to make room for serious cases:
lunatics supposed to be harmless wandered
around the country begging and II they be-
came boisterous or dangerous they were
shut up In local jails Until the breaking out
Of the civil war Tom o'bedlams wandered
around the country. They dressed in a Pc
culiar way. The public seemed to be quite
charitable to them. and this produced a set
of impostors-pretended mad men. They
were known as Abram men. In Shake
spears time in what hospitals there were
the treatment consisted large ly Of bleed
ing, whipping, dosing with various drugs
and herbs, Incarceration, chains and dark
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-05-26

gun doomed out not in. They counted
preparin' to cash whin-Boom! Ninety-four,
Boom! Ninetythree. Thin a pause. It's
a girl No, wait What's the use? Let's
go home. Hurrah FIR Susy. TIL sportin'
ilimint thatd been bettin on tn filly were
preparin' to cash whin-Boom! Nnety-four.
Ninetyfour booms a boy. Hooray! TIL
popylace wint wild with joy or home, as it
happened. An tn next mornn' tn news
was flashed into twinty millyon American
fam lies an boordin' houses that wan iv
tn great evints iv tn wurruld had hap
pened, an that tn future King Nv Spain
was boy.
Since thin TIL excitement has died down
to some extint, but were still gettin' news
firm tn nursery. TIL Queen is raypoorted
to have walked downstairs. TIL King is
full iv anecdotes Nv his heir, who RESEMBLES
his grandfather tn King Nv England in his
caustic wit. TIL rifle parent, goin into tn
rifle nursery tn other day an obSarvin' TIL
rile young with his foot in his mouth, ex-
claimed: 'Wot is tn little doodle, doodle
deums don';' to which tn spirited infant
replied, 'Gah.' On Thursday tn capital
was thrown into CONSERVATION be tn an
nouncement that rash had appeared on
tn back iv tn Princes neck. TIL rile sur
geon, Don y Dock Grogan, hurrid to tn
palace. an decided afther consultin with
his colleagues that If tn hope iv Spain was
to be saved radical measures must be
adopted With great skill he admins
tered talcum powdher, an tn Prince is on
fair way to recovery.
NANNY presints have been rayceived,
among thin bein' pacifer firm tn King
Nv Biljum's own rubber farm on tn Congo.
and an enamelled bomb firm the Car, with
tn inscription: Like father used to take
Tn Prince was christened TIL other day.
Be tn courtesy iv tn Sultan SPECIAL
wather was brought firm tn River Jordan,
which is owned be TIL Turks. don't know
whether tn Prince howled an kicked his
godfather in tn eye. They usually do.
I've been black an blue hundred times
firm standin' up with the childher in this
neighborhood. Anyhow, tn Prince was
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-05-26

thruly christened. TIL King, his father,
invested him with tn Ordher iv tn Goolden
Fleas, an he was named afther tn crowned
heads iv tn wurruld. who are his rela-
tons. Henceforth, he will go through life
with tn followin' epithet: Alfonso Ed
ward Willum Nicholas Leopold Cara
boolago WI Ching FanS<Rosenfelt Mockahi
Rain-in-th'- Face. WRin his mother calls
him into tn house FIR supper she d have to
begin befure breakfast.
"All these here "details l r-read in me
favrite journal, which is devoted to tn
cause iv labor. If We want to know what's
goin on in tn highest circles at home an
abrood we've got to buy journal that is
especially printed f'r wurrukin' men an
wurrukin women. Rilety niver will be
abolished as long as there's a pa-aper that
makes a point iv gettin tn news that'll
PLACE a mimber iv Tinsmiths' Union Num-
Der Six Aftller readin' tn raypoorts Nv
this excellent family counsellor I find me-
silf thinkin' iv TIL Prince Nv tn Asturyas
comm into tn wurruld wearin' a Gin'ral's
unyform an a soord. An l know that
amt so. Me reason tells me that he's
about a foot high with no teeth, little hair
a red face, an a disposition to prickly
heat. No matther what We call thin, Hin
missy, babies are babies, an people are
people An if ye put TIL Prince iv tn
Astooryas an P. ]. Slavin, Junior, that
was born tn same night in Halsted Sthreet
in a crib together an left tn room. We
coudden't tell thin apart If they were both
in the crib whin ye come back. If wan Nv
thin was on TIL flure ye'd recognize tn
Prince.
well, thank Hiven, it's over, an we can
go back to wurruk. TIL la-ad's havin'
prob'bly tn best time now he's liver goin'
to have. About twinty years firm now he'll
be leadin life as precaryous as a chicken
on an autymobile road. 1t may've been
fun wanst to be a King. l wud've liked
tn job mesilf But since tn establishment
iv so nanny shootin' gallries in Father
son, New Jersey, I've given up all me am
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-05-26

n nEfOh Eli was talking to Thomas
~ E. Harley, the young Cleveland
millionaire, who Is going to tour
the world for a wife
"A young man of your means" said the
reporter. enviOusly, should have no dim
Guilty in finding a wife. He shouldn't have
to tour the world for her"
"Ah. shouldn't hep said Mr. Harley.
Don't you know that the right kind of
girl doesn't Judge a man by his money?
Money, my friend. is the last thing to
Judge any one by.
Yes the young millionaire went on, he
who judges people by their money Is apt to
fare like the Cleveland man who gave a
dollar to each Of his little sons
Now, boys said this foolish man. Il
am going away for week. Take this
money and see how much you can make
out Of 1t in my absence. To him that does
the best I'll give a fine present
"On his return at the weeks end he
called the boys to him.
Well. George, how have you sue.
ceeded?' he asked the first
George proudly took two dollars from his
pocket
81 have doubled my money, father he
said.
Excellent cried the father. And you.
John, have you done better STILL?
NO, sir, said John, sadly. I have lost
all mine.
"'Wretched boy the father exclaimed.
How did you lose II -
81 matched George faltered the lad"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-05-26
Missing Dog Answers
Advertisement for Itself


LONDON, May IL. 1907,
r r ERE 10 the latest dog story. 1t is the
n story of a lost dog which answered
d q In person an advertisement about
himself before it had been published. 1t
Is vouched for by J. Parsons, proprietor of
a staid provincial paper. the Hastings and
st. Leonards Observer.
One day an advertisement containing
description Of lost dog and offering a re-
ward Of 5 shillings ($1.20 for is recovery
was handed in to the Office OF the news
paper. 1t was set up In type with hundreds
Of others, and In due course passed into
the hands of the maker up for classifca-
ton. While ne was perusing 1t strange
dog made Its appearance in the composing
room. To get there II had made its way
up fve flights of stairs.
The coincidence, Of course. impressed the
maker up as something decidedly out Of
the common. But his establishment was
vastly greater on discovering tat the ami
NAL bore a striking resemblance to the de-
scription given of the lost dog in the ad
yer,isement which he held in his hand He
kept the dog in the composing room until
the paper had gone to press, and, an hour
or two later. accompanied by 1t, presented
himself at the address given. 1t was the
dog that had been lost sure enough, and
the man was given the five shillings reward
Now the question has arisen whether The
long arm of coincidence can be stretched
far enough to account for the dogs be-
hayIor or whether 1t was led to anticipate
the appearance Of the advertisement by
some spook.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-05-26

it. We don't hear tn details. In Ar-chey
Road it amt considered polite to discuss
thin.
But with rilety tbs different, dye mind
Why, l know as much about this here
happy evint in Spain as though 1 had a
room in tn house. Weeks ago tn pa-apers
begun discussin' it. an liver since there's
been no let up. 1 feel kind iv sorry f'r
Alfonso. If it's hard to be winked at an
nudged be ye're particular frinds, 1t must
be tn divvle to have tn whole wurruld
winkin' at We an nudgin' We. Up to a few
months ago hadn't heerd anything much
about him firm tn day he was married,
whin wan Nv his rifle subjects become so
enthusyastic over tn nuptials that he
thried to dhrop eight pounds Nv homemade
nithro-glycerine in his leiges lap But we
can't keep a good man out Nv tn pa-apers,
an about st. Patrick's day me old heart
was gladdened be tn news that Alfonso
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-05-26
Advent of the Royal Infant of Spain Offers Food for Reflection

UP in front iv TIL dure. Two thousand
nurses iv tn noblest Andylusian stock
dashed about carryin' boxes iv.Castile soap,
which is on'y used rile infants, an
dimon studded buckets iv parygorc. TIL
kiEg. dhressed FIR Tn occasion iv ben a
father in cCmbynation iv tn UNIFORMS Nv
tn four hundred rgmints he is Colonel Nv,
paced nervously up an down tn room. now
an thin takin' a pull out iv goold an
ivory flask.
''Th nlasnificently attred assimblage
stood silent fixin' its necktie. comhin' its
hair or brush!n' tn feathers off it's coat, as
tn case might be. Tn American .Ambassa-
duTe. II Hon rhe James Fl. Bi:ck form
, erly Assistant Conlrlis sioner iv Public
WUrruks at What Cheer. Kansas, was con-
spicuous in tn brilliant an even garrsh
throng, be TIL simplicity iv his attire, he
bein clad in TIL ordinary garb iv an
American citizen whin he goes to New
York, black pants, vest an coat, an white
shirt. He showed his cont!npt FIR TIL
foolish pomp iv these r:le doings be wiring
in his hands an aslin' til man next to
him. Ought l to get down on me hands
an knees on'y on me knees whin his
rile highness is brought in?
Suddenly tn massive oaken dures were
flung open be a sthrOng hand, an tn ex-
quisite Countess Maria Suzette Annabella
Corossa Ann y Toboggo flushed with her
glad tidings, fairly flung hersilf into tn
! room. an cried: My lards an ladies, it is
al frgot to ask. There was a moment
iv suspfnse, an thin a sthrange sound
reverybrated through tn long an costly
halls. 'Hark! cried tn British Ambassa-
dure. What's that?' 1t is tn palace cat
o1o.,
ayether cat or King said tn bluff an
hearty Gin'ral Escraminto del Bamhilo.
Alfonso dashed firm tn room exclaimin,
Here's where 1 go to tn bat.'
I'm a minnyit he reappeared carryin
above his head a plate. An what dye
think was on tn plate? Yell niver guess. I'll
give We eight guesses an yell not guess.
1t was tn child. Yes, Sir, l tell We 1 have
it straight. No l didn't read 1t wrong.
Yell know what to do next time In TIL
front parlor We'll be gathered-me in a
stovepipe hat. with tn medal 1 got FIR tn
hundred yards dash in sivinty-three;
Corp-ral Hannigan iv tn Hibrnyan Rifles
in his full UNIFORM, tn polsman on TIL
beat, tn letter carrier. an tn dhriver iv
injine five An in We come carryin' ye'er
iliventh Tor is it twelfth?)-
Twelfth said Mr.. Hennessy
"Carryin' ye'er twelfth on a platter Ye
can see it here in black an white King
Alfonso enthered carryin' tn heir to TIL
| throne on a silver plate He walked around
| tn, room presintin tn infant to wan afther
anoth4, sayin', Jock, tn Prince iv TIL
Astooryas.' An each person was pre-
sinted they cried: Long live tn Prince Nv
| tn Astooryas.' An Hinnissy, sthrange as
| 1t may seem, he did live.
Outside, tn sthreets were thronged with
excited taxpayers. Ivrybody wanted it to
| be a boy, it seemed. They've had enough
| ladies such they are in tn Spanish rile
| family. 1t was fixed so that gun wud be
| fired to let tn people know whin to cheer
! or hiss. Ninety three explosions FIR a girl
an ninety-four FIR a boy. " a sudden, a
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-05-26
Bard Had Rare Opportunities for Studying
of Character Time

ness. / cannot agree with those who say
that Shapespeare had no opportunity.
Besides these droves of crazy men, spe-
cial cases made much talk, especially such
as were connected with royalty. Many Of
the things that Shakespeare knew may
have arisen from his inspiration and mental
vision, but others he could not thus ac-
Quire. 1t is impossible for a poet to origi-
nate FACTS, he must perceive them or re-
ceivs them on the testimony Of those who
have done 80. No doubt he had a knowl-
edge of the springs Of action and marvel
Gus ciscernment Of the countless varieties
of character. He understood human ma
ture and awaited himself Of ancient his
tory and other writings, especially the
Bible. He also knew material facts and
laws of nature. While the common people
of his time were ignorant, the wise knew
vastly more than is generally allowed.
Shakespeare had knowledge of the physi-
cal fact that the brain is the seat and
chief instrument Of thought. Thus, in Ham
let, he speaks of the book and volume of
my brain" This is the very COIN
age of your BRAIN" In Othello: us he not
light Of brain?" In the first part Of Henry
vi: In brain-sick man. and in the second
part, 1.-The bedlam. brain sick duchess" IN
Macbeth: Brain sickly." In "A Mid
summer Nights Dream he afirms that
lovers and mad men have such seething
brains" In the Merchant Of Venice"
Brain may devise laws for the blood, but
hot temper leaps over a cold Decree In
"As You Like it, the symptoms Of incipient
melancholia are described. In THE Tam
ing Of the shrew' the players came to play,
and address the melancholiac thus:
For so your doctors hold it very meet;
Seeing too much sadness hath CONCEALED
your blood.
And Melancholy is the nurse Of Frenzy"
In the Comedy Of Errors" the symptoms
Of mania are described at length; also its
proper treatment. Shakespeare attempts
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-05-26
The Court Warned.
the Atlanta Constitution.

From the Atlanta Constitution.
"Bill, old boy said the prisoner to the
justice, II want you to pay particular at
tention while I'm a-making Of this here
statement"
Don't address the court as BILL SIR
said the justice. "or I'll fine you for con-
tempt
That's all right. William" replied the
prisoner. I'VE wuz growed up together an I
reckon you feel as dignified as alligator
on a log in a mill pond up thar, but eff you
decide this case agin me. Lord help you
when ketch you in the middle o. the road
Go on with your proceedings"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-05-26

1 place him among that division of man.
kind distinguished as in the borderland Of
insanity, sane except under fearful pres
sure, then liable to outbreaks of melan-
cholia, or mania, in any of their stages,
frequently followed by a return when the
pressure is removed to normal conditions
Following Hamlet through his vicssitudes
the borderland hypothesis leaves less I'M
explained than any other theory. Hamlet
rs the only play Of Shakespeare's in which
two principal characters are represented
as being insane. Ophelia is the type Of
| hundreds of women now in insane asylums,
too delicate to bear the rude shocks Of the
world. Her affections were wrecked, her
brief history has been we'll summed I'D as
consisting In being seen, loved and mourn
ed. She is perfect case Of melancholia
Sings and groans. things outside do not
occupy her, but her mental activity comes
from within. She was like one who walks
In his sleep. One Of the finest passages in
English prose was written by DR.. Ray, the
Genital pathologist:
Needless of everything else. her mind
wanders among the confused and broken
recollections of the past: deserted by the
glorious light of the divinity that stirs
within but which is soon to be rekindled
with unquenchable brightness"
The powers of Shakespeare, il he wrote
all or most Of the plays attributed to him,
were transcendent. If he wrote little and
selected much. he was equally great al
though Of different type. No one familiar
with the history of mankind, the ancient
classics. the history of the Roman Catholic
and Greek Churches, the Bible, and the
sacred books of China and India, can deny
that Shakespeare had much assistance. He
makes Dir John Falstaf quote Galen on
the effects Of apoplexy ana its causes.
Even Herodotus, the father of history.
shows that certain ancient kings knew
the causes, the prevention and the cure of
insanity. This does not detract from
shakespeare's just reputation. He stands
unrivaled in description Of insanity. and
there is no adequate reason for doubling
that one controlling mind. and that the
mind Of William Shakespeare, united in
himself the functions of the author ana
editor.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-05-26

bition in that line. Whin tn time comes f'r
me to die I'd like to pass away all in wan
piece. There were about tin thousand
babies born in Spain TIL same day tn
Prince Nv tn Astooryas come into tn
wurruld. 1t don't make so much diff renee
how he threats thin. He can't do mucn
FIR thin EXCEPT let thin see him wanst a
week dhressed in his best suit iv clothes
It's what they'll do to him, I'm wondhrin
about
Well said Mr.. Hennessy, 80 long as
he's on'y baby dhrink his health
I'm with ye," said Mr.. DooIey. "A glass
Nv matted milk to tn Prince Nv tn As
tooryas."