davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10
MEN AND THINGS.


John West is dead. This news will cause
also stOmach-pangs. For nearly thirty
years Big John" as he was most com
monty known. was the presiding genius
among the walters in the mems cafe at
Harveys. Him did two generations Of
American statesmen appeal to when they
dropped In for a hurried lunch or an
elaborate dinner at night. And John
never failed them. But, in order 70 en-
joy the favor OF Big john" the states
man upon whom he waited had to trust
implicitly to Johns judgment as to what
was best for his stomach. The customer
who insisted upon making his own order
did not receive cheerful treatment at
Johns hands.
John was Of enormous size, but not
obese. He was a veritable giant in ebony.
but was as feet of foot as any 1.-THE
Ganymede in the establishment. For
pompous display of wealth or epicurean
taste John had a wholesome contempt
.Once a fiashily dressed newcomer. who
thought Il proper to have John serve
him, called out in loud voice:
John, have you any lobsters2'
Yes, SIR" was Johns quick reply.
What viii you have?''
To his regular custOmers-thOse who
had obtained Johns respect-he served
only the simplest Of foods. one Of these
Otto Carmichael-was stricken with a
severe attack of govt after he had been
away from Washington for a time. When
John heard Of Il he WINGED, and declared.
That gentleman shore has let them
French cooks and walters in New York
serve him things that l never would give
him here"
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10
Not Yet but soon.

Not yet, but soon.'' seems 70 sum
Marie the situation as to woman suffrage
in Merry Old England Great crowds of
EnglishwOmen. converting themselves for
the nonce into disciplined Iegions of war
mad Amazons, swept through the streets
Of proud Britains capital and besieged
the tyrant man in his last stronghold, the
House of Commons OF course. the police
tried 10 check their Onrush and save
Westminster from their destructive inn
pact but in this the police succeeded only
partially in their real purpose, which was
to check the movement by the terror of
Jail Imprisonment. Scores Of the en-
battled women were hailed TO prison, and
for all we know 10 the contrary they are
there yet But this has not stopped their
movement Parliament all bat yielded
to their demand at its sitting Friday,
and il is evident that the day of femi-
ninitys emancipation in Great Britain is
dawning. We view with hope. not I'M
mixed with alarm, the prospect Of the
EnglishwOman's example inspiring her
American sister To a course every whit
as determined and drastic.
Discordant notes are being sounded in
Great Britain which we trust Will not
jangle harshly, if at ALL in this country.
Mrs. Humphrey Ward and Miss Marie
Corelli, the one presumably under the
domineering mastery of a man and the
other exultantly defiant Of masculine
right to crib, cabin. and confne her
freedom of thought and action. have
had the unkindness 20 declare the convic-
ton of wOman's unftness TO exercise the
franchise. Miss Corelli chirps thus "Of
all the rights which women may or should
claim. the right 10 vote seems to me TO be
the most useless and the most unneces-
sary, and the one most likely 90 involve
the loss Of al true womanly power re-
serve, and dignity Had this traitor 90
great cause stopped here. the case
would not be so bad. But she rubs salt
into the cruel wounds she in1icts by de-
ploring this sad but nc0ntestablc fact
that brilliant, intellectual women are dis
tinCtly in the minority. and are always
likely 10 remain so" Not content with
these jabs and stabs. the CoreUI person
adds: The great majority to whom SUI
frage would apply are of that happy dis
poeltlpn Wiltu mas no Tune 10 mink. and
which throws down book readily for
the more fascinating contemplation Of
new hat"
We observe with pleasure that this
would-be analyst OF her sex did not say
that the class of women whom she ex-
c0riates. and who. she claims, constitute
the great majority cannot OF do not
think. What she has said is that because
Of their happy dispositions they have no
time TO think. The distinction is of vital
Importance, and upon it may ultimately
depend the part the tyrant man shall be
permitted to play I'm the worlds affairs
When woman shall have time TO think.
then the dread day Of reckoning viii
come. and the vainglorious creature who
has dominated the earth so many cen
turtles Will seek the tall timber precipi-
lately. But along with him viii go the
Mrs Humphry Wards and the Marie
CoreIlis, whose numbers We know not. but
we suspect they are enthusiastically small.
Whether this combination in arboreaI sol
itude viii be a happy one. we doubt.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
PASSIVE PHILOSOPHY.

Now when man to silence clings
Steadfastly day By day,
There are a lot Of foolish things
A fellow doesn't say.
When he pursues his daily round
And to the line doth hew,
A lot Of foolish things. I've found.
A fellow doesn't do.
And when a chap has reached a pitch
To mind his biz. you bet
There's lots OF trouble into which
A fellow doesn't get.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10
HYMN FOR CHILDREN.

Father in Heaven. who loves all,
help Thy children when they CALI
That they may build from age 70 age
An undehled heritage.
Teach rs 20 rlle ourselves slway.
Controlled and clearly night and day;
That We may bring. il need arise.
No manned or worthless sacrifice,
Teach us 20 look in all our ends,
On TEee for Judge. and not orr friends;
That We. with Thee may walk uncowed
BY fear or favor Of the crowd.
Teach us the strength that cannot seek
BY deed or thought TO hurt the weak;
That under Thee we may possess
Mans strength 10 comfort mans distress,
Teach rs delight IN simple things.
And mirth that has no bitter springs;
Forgiveness free Of evil done,
And love 70 all men meath the sun
-8udyaTd kipling. in Puck u Pook's Hin
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10
Young, but a Good One.

From the Austin Tex Statesman.
Though it is but FIVE months old we
find The Washington Herald one of the
neatest, newsiest. prettiest, ablest, and
most interesting newspapers in the
United States. Editor Scott c. Bone is
certainly a master at the Journalistic
helm If it keeps improving there is no
telling what it will be by the time il is
grown
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10
Less speed Won't Hurt.

Prom the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The mere fact that the reduced passen-
ger rate will mean little less speed for
the very fastest trains certainly Will not
appeal 20 legislatures considering 2-cent
fare laws. and the public may regard it
as something to be desired rather than
deplOred.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10
kansas War Governor.

Kansas famous war governor, Samuel
Crawford, lives most Of the time in this
city. Gov Crawford was one of the young
est but most energetic and far-sighted Of
that class Of executives at the North who,
during the civil war, raised and equipped
the troops called for by Mr. Lincoln 10
put down the rebellion. He does not
look more than sixty, though his age is
considerably beyond that point, ard he
is as active in the practice of law as
any man half his years. His acquaint-
auce with the public men of the day is
broad and intimate, and he enjoys life
at the Capitol with a zest betolening
his satisfaction with and undated in
terest in the affairs Of the nation He
was a fighting war governor. and not one
Of them made a finer record than he.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10
Our Modern Dtseascs.

From the Savannah News
Moral astigmatism" is said to be the
thing that is the matter with so many
Of our high financiers. With the John
MES suffering from brain storms. and
the financiers from moral astigmatism,
there is little wonder that the courts
and the investigating committees are
always busy
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10
INSPIRED BY THE HERALD.

Atlanta Georgian, II somebody doesn't
hurry up and tell that Washington Herald
man the plural Of grapefruit he is going
10 have brain storm. No, no, no. We
don't know the answer
Farmvile CVa) Herald. The Washing
ton Herald, in a leading editorial. named
some half dozen representative Southern
Democrats worthy TO be President And
the list may be largely added to.
Milwaukee Sentinel. Says The Washing
ton Herald. THE gentleman who under
takes TO fH Senator Spooner's seat viii
have the contract Of his life on hand.
Thus far most Of the bids merely under
take to rattle round in the seat.
indianapolis sun. The washington
Herald says Mr.. divers assertion that he
had been -doodled" means, simply.
that he was ''flm-dammed. This being
made plain, there is nothing 20 add other
than that no "mollycoddle" can play the
game successfully.
Chattanooga Times: The Washington
Herald has traced a resemblance in SEN
ator Robert l. Taylor 10 Congressman
Littauer. Of New York. Both al any
rate, are very baldheaded. and that ap-
pears TO be about the only quality they
have in common.
Nashville American. Noting that Ten
uessee friends are to present Senator
Carmack a loving cup. The Washington
Herald adds: THE Senator will doubtless
use il whenever be INDUCES I'm lemonade.
lemon toddy, OF brandy sour" Nobody
down here expected him 10 drink soup out
of it.
Houston Post: The Washington Herald
says the German scientist who claims
that 800 years from now water will be
worth - cents a drink viii never be able
TO make a Kentuckian believe that such a
think could happen in a million years.
What would the Kentuckian care about il
one way or another If the Kentuckian
is Indifferent about water when il is free.
how could YOU expect 10 interest him in
il at Is cents a drink?
Austin Statesman: zone evidence"
says The Washington Herald. "of the
decadence Of at least certain kinds OF
Unwritten law is the fact that one man
may call another a liar in Texas these
days and also live to tell the tale" The
Herald should remember that II has rarely
occurred, even in the widest and wool
lest days Of Texas, that If a man had
actually lied he would do harm to another
for telling him so. In all our history our
liars even have appreciated the man who
would tell the truth
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10
a Poser.

Never groaned a Euclid avenue pic
ture dealer, the other day, never try 20
argue a woman into believing that she
ought to pay bill when she thinks other
wise. I tried It this presented
a bin for some stuff ordered two months
ago. Here was her irrefutable logic:
] never ordered any pictures.
60 IF I did, you never delivered them.
II You did. 7 never got them.
IF I did. I paid for them
" If didn't, I must have had some good
reason for IT,
And if had. of course I won't pay
What dyOu think Of that?'
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

A number Of Texans addressed a com
municatiOn to the legislature beginning as
follows: I'VE humbly petition your hum
bic body" Truly has Texas fallen upon
evil and degenerate days!
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10
lie Didn't Understand.

Tell me the old, old story, Harold"
she murmured.
About our being sure % win the pen
nant this Year," inquired the practical
youth. 1T is a good deal OF chestnut.
hey?"
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10
Spring Nonsense.

The crOcus now can crow and crow.
The cuss can cuSs and cuss.
Because sweet spring is here, you know,
And verse is up 10 US
Hamilton (Ohiol Sun.
If II be spring in Hamilton,
lis there that I would go
I think IL would be jolly fun
To hear the crocus crow.
And yet I fear that il was not
The crocus that you heard
Mayhap it was the snowcus, what
Is a much earlier bird.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10
why He's Going to BE Good.

From the Philadelphia Press
Hartman promises to be good now.
which probably indicates that he has got
all he wants
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10
Too Explicit.

Il can't give either Of you fellows
job"
But sir, our former employer viii tell
you that we are able and energetic"
He does so. Says one Of you is able.
and the other energetic"
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

ANY bottles? Any ragsg'
Queer combination you deal in, my
friend"
Not so queer. People as has bottles
generally has rags"
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10
Seems SO.

What are these New York lawyers
trying TO proven
Briefly summed up?'
YES"
That a million dollars can do 10
wrong"
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

The way those South African Beers
are succeeding in controlling their gov
eminent as well as themselves Is highly
Insulting to Mr.. Rudyard Kipling.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10
In Practice.

ooh, Mr.. Millyuns"
''Weu?"
do you think a rich man can go
through the eye Of a needle?"
Il don't know, my boy, However, I
will say that my lawyers have dragged
me through some very small loopholes."
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10
I'LL ~ Il

That young man is no account. I
thought you told me there was good stuff
in him.
We'll. I saw him eating lobster and
drinking champagne"
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

From the Louisville Courier Journal.
Since the discovery of brain storms has
made many things clear 10 US. il is sp-
parent that Thomas W. Lawson has been
mentally of Hatteras for the last thrss
years.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

This is not a one mans republic" saws
tae New Orleans Picayune, Well, as be-
tween Mr. Rockefeller and Mr. Hartman.
it would be hazardous TO declare that II
isn't a two mans republic.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10
That EXPLAINS

She's not ashamed her age 20 tell,
But rather proud ] ween.
A funny girl. you say? Oh. well,
She's only seventeen.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

Please register" pleads a Virginia
contemporary as an election approaches
Perhaps persuasive measures may sue
coed where big stick methods generally
fail
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10
ForaIser Ordering Pictures.

The news has come to Washington from
Cincinnati that Senator Foraker has
made S20O0 contract with a Autograph
ing house there for the immediate print
ing Of thousands of pictures and we'll
known cartoons of himself What the
Ohioan intends to do with these pictures
is not definitely known. and there are
many Republican statesmen who would
like 10 find out His campaign for re-
election to the Senate comes on next
wear, but IL is not known that he appre-
hends a severe struggle over that, so that
it is thought he will not have to plaster
Buckeyedom with counterfeit present
ments Of himself. His lineaments are too
well known to the people out there 70
require such adventurous aids as that in
volved in a graphic campaign. But ia
other parts of the Union his face is not
so familiar. and it is probably for the
purpose of letting the people in other
sections of the country get acquainted
with his physiognomy. both IN autograph
and cartoon, that he has given so heavy
an order to the Cincinnati publishing
house This is the phase of the report
that is giving concern in Washington
and also i'm Indiana Maybe the report
from Cincinnati is not true; perhaps only
a canard. started 10 worry the full-tiedged
candidates
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

II we cannot legalize this "unwritten
law" 1T least we might seek TO unionize
it and thus keep it from working over
time
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

The Louisville COuTier-JOuTnal viii
never determine the three prettiest girls
In Kentucky by a process Of elimination.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10
NIr. CIeveInnd.s Host.

Grover Cleveland is on his annual visit
to his old friend, Gen. Z. p. Alexander,
In South Carolina. Between this fine old
survivor Of the baronial days Of the South
and the former President there is a bond
Of friendship Of long standing, formed
when Mr.. Cleveland first came 70 the
White House more than twenty years
ago. and when Gen. Alexander was one
Of the few Southern visitors who did not
want an Office The South Carolinian
owns splendid estates along the coast.
much OF 1t island properties where the
hunting and fishing are especially good
at this season. When Mr.. Cleveland goes
there he is as completely cut of from
the world as was Robinson Crusoe. With
gun and rod he has trackless acres 10
hustle in and the sea and inlets for his
own.
Gen. Alexander Is a West Point honor
graduate When the civil war broke out
he was stationed with his command on
the Pacific Coast Resigning from the
army. he made his way back 20 South
Carolina. where he cast his fortunes
with the Confederaey. At the close OF
the war he was Gen. Lees chief en-
gineer. Gen. Alexander is now writing
a series Of articles on the great battles
OF the civil war. which are attracting the
attention of military students all over
the world During the last Cleveland
administration lac was appointed by the
President as arbitrator in the boundary
dispute between Nicaragua and Costa
BiCa for which service he was paid d
large honOrarium by the two govern
ments involved. He frequently visits old
family friends in that part Of Washington
known as Georgetown.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

From the Chicago Post
The American hen seems to be suffering
from egomania.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

BY the time that story about what Mr.
Cortelyou eats for his luncheon has trav-
eled little further and taken on a few
more frills, he viii probably be known as
the ostrich Of this administration
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10
JUST BY THE WAY.

From the Cleveland Leader.
Not Behind.
You're behind on your grocery bill,
Mr.. Bilker."
Il am not. I haven't paid IL. and I'm
ahead about $50"
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

Maj Seeley. Of the British army. says
married men are Drawer than bachelors.
OF course that is true. otherwise there
would be no married men.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10
who win Be the warwicks.

Who viii Be the Warwicks:
II is Of possible political significance
that thus far in advance Of the selection
Of the standard bearers for the campaign
Of 1865 the subject Of the tituiar man
ayers OF the parties is being agltated with
considerable persistence and energy. Sen
at0r Crane. Of Massachusetts,, seems 70
have a veritable boom on for the Repub-
lican managerial post. and it is asserted
that even should President Roosevelt be
renominated. nolens voiens. the Massa-
chusetts Senator would be asked TO as
sumo the direction Of the fight which
would involve his election as chairman Of
the national committee. The rule. OF
course. is for the nominee 20 select his
own campaign manager. but il is limited
that Senator Crane would be entirely sat
isfactory 10 any of three possible nomi-
nees-the President. Secretary Taft. or
Wee President Fairbanks The Massachu-
setts Senator is himself q man Cf large
wealth, and ne has the confidence of con-
sentative rich men all over the country.
Besides this desirable qualification. his
executive ability Is rated as Of the highest
class. ana IN tIe matter or D0Hltc8t Ed-
gacity and foresight he measures up to
the required standard for a campaign
manager.
The name Of Senator Stone, of Missouri.
is more frequently suggested than that Of
anybody else as the manager of the DEM
ocratic campaign provided William Jen-
nings Bryan is again his partys nominee.
Of which now there does not appear to be
any doubt. In both OF the Bryan cam
paigns the AIissOuTian. as vice chairman
Of the national committee. was second in
command 20 Chairman James X. Jones,
and managed the campaign in the East
with headquarters in new York. Senator
Stone yesterday declared that the use of
his name for managerial responsibilities in
any form next year was wholly without
his consent. He viii have a campaign Of
his own 10 look after in Missouri and he
says that although il Bryan is the candi-
date the State will give the Nebraskan a
majority Of 40CO0, al the same time the
Democrats could lose the legislature.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

Still. we do not believe Mr.. Harry Lehr
could possibly experience anything more
strenuous than brain zephyr
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

Did you ever hear Of rifle that
wasn't 'trustyg asks the Austin states
man. or a wrecked ship that wasn't III
faieH9-
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

MT Hartman says ne would like to
build the Panama Canal. As the last
and most important thing viii be plenty
Of water, il would appear that he is an
eminenJly mt and proper person 10 finish
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

A man named Mohr played piano for
twenty-four hours and twenty-five min
utes in Chicago recently, SO the press
dispatches say. 1t is not stated why he
stopped then. but the chances are some
thing hit him real hard.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

The esteemed Richmond Dispatch
recently indorsed a statement Of the
mayor. whereupon the mayor repudiated
IT, That was very unsquaTe in the mayor.
20 say the least Of it.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

With the exception of the ducks. every
body and everything viii rejoice that Mr.
Cleveland is in sufficiently robust health
to warrant hunt down about the
marshes of North Carolina
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

a Frenchman is attracting great atten-
ton by allowing 4050-p0und automobiles
To run over him at fun speed ahead for
a fee of a few francs. A nation of that
sort Of folks would be near Paradise to
the scOrChers.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

SO far as Mr.. Bryan is concerned. he
probably sees nothing especially novel
about a guaranteed White House.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

Senator Aldrich has sailed for Europe
Here is a fine chance for the Car TO get
some valuable pointers on how 10 run
country. and not have the mob up and
about YOU all the time 1t is being done.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

President Butler. Of Columbia, Will de-
liver one lecture during his honeymoon.
A sort of farewell appearance.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

Herr Bartzen says there will never be
real reform in Germany until the Demo-
Gratis get together. He must be the Ger
man jim Griggs.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

Three more Central American republics
are on the verge of war. 1t is all right
however, as that verge never seems to be
unduly crowded, no matter how many get
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

As We understand the defense, Thaw
was as crazy as the eXigencies Of the
occasion demanded. but. the victim hav-
ing been removed, he is not crazy at all
now, and win not do il again if released.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

The Washington Herald is delivered by
ccTrier ia the District Of Columbia and at
Alexandria, Va, at s. cents per month,
daily and Sunday, or at p cents per
month lCitHout the Sunday issue.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

Perhaps Boss" Ruef was acting upon
the theory that he who CRAFTS and runs
away viii live To graft another day.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

DIR. Douma will now undertake 20 adj
minister constitutional treatment to the
Russian Car
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

Some car loads Of Christmas presents
shipped from this section to the Pacific
Coast are just beginning to arrive Only
nine months in which 20 do your Pacific
Coast Christmas shopping.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

A Philadelphia man has succeeded in
climbing Mount Ixtaccihuau 1t viii be
an awful strain on his tongue and vocal
outfit to tell his friends about it.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

1T costs too much TO be a Senator "
says Senator SpoCner. Mr. Guggenheim
intimated as much but he paid the price
all the same.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

A Baltimore man says people may live
20 be a hundred years Old If they viii not
wear hats. This advice is not calculated
TO appeal 20 the ladies at this season Of
the year: besides. none of them want to
be q hundred years old
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

Telephone Main $500. private Branch E.sh.nss)
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

Did you ever know the world to stop
10 hear a GROWER grOan?' asks the At
lanta Constitution We have known sec
tons Of it pause TO see d growler rushed.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

Il seems that Miss Gladys Vanderbilt is
always especially well guarded when
abroad As there are no de Castcllanes
or MarIhoroughs I'm this country. it isn't
necessary when she is at home
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10

Ernest II. Msrrck . Treasurer and Business MANAGER
Clsrsncs C Archibald ........ Advertising Manager
] Harry CanniBsbarn Auditor
Charles c Thompson Mechanical Superintendent
The Washington herald., 1907-03-10
Sub.,ription Rstss By Mail.

New York once. Nassau.Beekmsn Bldg. LaCOste q
Maxwell MsugCTz
Chicago Once. Marquette Bldg. LaCoste s Max
Usll. Managers.