The news=record. [volume] (Enterprise, Wallowa County, Oregon) 1907-1910, 1907-09-28
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II you have anything to say to
Daily News
Anthropology Instructor-What effect
has the climate on the Eskimo? Stu
dent-Cold feet.-Harvard Lampooa.
Officer-Seen anything of my bag
gage, sentry? Sentry-She's waitln'
round the corner for ye, sir!-Regi-
ment
Did l tell you the story of the old
church bell?" mo. Let's hear it."
Sorry, but it can be tolled only on
Sunday. Plain Dealer.
He-So they got married and went
of in their new motor car. She-And
where did they spend their honey
moon? Hem the hospital
Tit-Bits.
Foote Llghte-Has your sister q
strong part in the new piece? Miss Sue
Brette-Why, yes; she has to carry
around one Of those heavy spears!-
Yonkers Statesman.
Mrs. Kelly-'TLS another of thin
soovyneer post cyards from me darter
Maggie-the foorth this month, be-
gorry! She slnds me wan every tonne
she changes her place.-Puck.
Anxious Mother-I hope you are not
thinking Of marrying young Clarkson.
He spends every cent he earns. Pretty
Daughter-Oh, well, he doesn't earn
very much.-Chlcago Daily News.
do you ever talk back to your
wife?" asked the sollcitous friend.
Sometimes" answered Mr.. Meekton !;
"a very little; just to show her that
have not gone to sleep."-Chicago Daily
News.
Tommy-Does 1t make any difference
If baby takes all his medicine at once?
Baby's Mother Gin horror)-Good heav-
ems! OF course it does! Tommy
But 1t hasn't made any difference
Punch.
Mrs. Wickwire-If you 60 first, you
will wait for me ON the other shore,
won't you, dear? Mr.. Wickwlre-I sup
pose so. l never went anywhere yet
without having to wait for you.-Illus-
trated Bits
ANY accident in your motor trip
through Italy and France, Morgan"
Nothing worth mentioning. My wife
was thrown out and bruised bit, but
the machine never got 80 much as a
scratch."-Life.
so Jacks been made secretary and
treasurer of the company, has he?'
"Yes. He has to copy all the letters,
and take all the deposits to the bank,
and, oh, Mary, I'm so proud of him."
-Harper's Bazaar.
Church, like to see a man who can
forget an injury. Gotham-Well, there's
that neighbor Of mine he's suing the
railroad company for an injured leg,
and every once in while he forgets to
limp !-yonkers Statesman.
A kind old gentleman, seeing a small
boy who was carrying lot of news
pdpClo LID ouiu boh I
all those papers make you tired, my
boy?" Nav; l don't read 'em," re-
piled the lad.-Canadian Courier.
But to my mind" said the clerical
tourist from the East, "a plurality Of
wives is unspeakable." "Huh," snort
ed the good-natured Mormon. II never
even heard of one wife thatNwas un-
speakable. e."-Phlladelphla Press.
Young Lady-You are a wonderful,
master Of the piano, hear. Professor
Won Spieler (hired for the occasion)-
/ blay aggompaniments zometlmes. "Ac-
compartments to singlng?" "Aggom-
paniments to conversations" ."-Tattler.
Waiter-Mr. Browns left his umbrel-
la again, sir. l do believe he'd leave
his head IL 1t were loose. Robinson
I dare say you're right. l heard him
say only yesterday he was going to
Switzerland for his lungs.-Ally Sloper.
Church-See that man going along
with his head In the air, smiling with
his nose? Gotham-Yes; l know him.
Church, suppose he believes in taking
In the good, pure ozone? Gotham-No ;
he's hunting for an automobile garage,
I believe.-Yonkers Statesman.
II cracked a lawyers house the 9TH
er night" said the first burglar, dis
gustedly, 'and the lawyer was there
with a gun all ready for me. He ad-
vised me ter git out" "You got off
easy" replied the other "Not much l
didn't! He charged me $25 for. de ad-
vIce."-Philadelph Press.
''In the summer" remarked the obese
passenger with the big diamond stud,
people should eat nothing but cold
food and drink the coldest water OBJ
tainable." "Ah!" exclaimed the rail-