davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
[From the Chicago News.l

TFrom the Chicago NeWs.l
And one-half of the flattery is fiat.
Hungry men are seldom troubled with
indigestion.
In the onion-raisers' union there
should be strength.
Our national bird is the eagie-with
the stork q close second.
It is better to trust to your faults
than to be false to your trusts.
Be at peace with your neighbor even
if it means war with yourself.
ANY man can get married IL he isn't
too slow to embrace the opportunity.
Bald-headed men are apt to sneer at
the chap who parts his hair in the mid
die.
1t isn't advisable for young man to
make haste slowly If the girl has an
other string to her bow.
The mills Of the gods grind slowly
when a frenzied fnancfer Is employed
to adjust the machinery.
There is something wrong with the
bride who doesn't select a homelier girl
than herself for her bridesmaid.
It is easier for a father to keep his
coin and his boy apart than 1t is to
teach them to stick together.
1t is the natural economy of woman
that causes her to cut OF 10 cents
worth of sleeve so that she may wear
SIS worth of glove.
A woman may not be able to propel
a stone with accuracy, but when 1t
comes to throwing hints she rings the
gong nine times out OF possible ten
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.

CFrom the New York Press.J
1t improves a girls looks immensely
to be rich.
Marrying for money isn't nearly 30
profitable as inheriting it.
A girl wants to get married SO she
can begin to try to get other girls mar
ried. =
sure 1t wouldn't be IL It wasn't so STEM
der.
There's hardly anything more in
teresting than how deftly a girl with a
veil on gets it's or the right spot when
you kiss her after she won't let you.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16
BRYAN

/ It is not impossible that Mr.. organs
announcement that he will accept the
Democratic presidential Nomination Il
it Is rendered him-although he will not
ask for it-settles the action OF the
| next Democratic national convention
so far as the head Of the ticket is con-
cerned. Mr.. Bryan Is the idol Of the
rank and file of partisan Democracy
Just as Mr.. Roosevelt is of Republicans
though not in as great a degree.
Mr.. Bryan's announcement will oc-
casicn comparatively little surprise, al
though there was some doubt whether
he would make the race If Roosevelt or
Taft were the Republican nominee.
That doubt is settled however, by his
assertion that he will accept the nomi-
nation IL his party desires, no matter
whom the Republicans may name
Incidentally Mr.. Bryan takes occasion
to say that he will accept his nomina-
ton as an indication that his party
wishes to make an aggressive fight for
what he believes to be right, and he
also intimates that the party organiza-
ton must be acceptable to him. Be-
tween the lines one may read that
Roger Sullivan, for instance, must not
have a part in it.
1ncloentally, also, Mr.. Bryan issues
rebuke to that old style of bourbonism
that was always viewing with alarm"
The Democratic party" he says, must
make its fight for what It believes.
While 1t may take advantage of Re-
publican mistakes, it must depend on
It's merits for success, and notion the
error of it's opponents" One reason
why the Democratic party of bygone
years has not been stronger is that
while it was free with its criticism of
its opponents, it could not always sug-
gest something better. Mr.. Bryan pro-
poses to make 1t a constructive party.
While some enthusiastic Democrats
may not agree with this statement, the
country as whole believes that If
Roosevelt would run again, neither
Bryan nor any other Democrat would
have a ghost of a show of election. If
Taft is named by the Republicans, he
would not make as great inroads into
the Democratic ranks as would Roose-
welt, but it is not likely that he could
be defeated. If, however, reactionary
is named by the Republicans, Domino
ted by financial interests. the feeling
prevails in much of the country that
Mr.. Bryan will be the next president.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16
HYHAWXER JOTS

Pratt boasts tht it has big prayer
meetings.
Sterling is figuring on putting in a
sewer system, just like a real city.
Congressman Madison disappointed
Emmett Hopkins, of Garden City. as
cadet at West Point.
There is an epidemic of mumps at
Nickerson, and even the school teach
ers have been having fat cheeks.
A Chanute man doctored some
horses with sore mouths His own
hands were cracked, and as a result
ne contracted blood poisoning from
the horses.
A beaver was recently captured in
Lecompton, the first for many years.
although beavers were once numerous
IN Kansas. Its skin was said to be
worth $25.
It takes 5000 tons of hay to run
Fort Riley during a season. This year
1000 tons were cut on the reservation,
and the balance will be shipped in
from the south.
A subscriber fixed himself with
the Medicine Lodge Index by bringing
took only nine of them to make a
half bushe1. too.
A Leavenworth woman has brought
suit for divorce against her husband
because he has give her only SIS in
twenty months. For goodness sake.
what did she expect?
Pratt Republican,: A deaf mute by
the name of E. Long, from Ingersoll
Okla, arrived in Pratt, last Saturday
looking for his wife, who is also a deaf
mute. Mrs. Long had become in
fatuated with young man and fled
from home to meet him at Pratt but
her husband was so close on her trail
that the young fellow never got here
in time to meet her. Mr.. Long found
his hayward spouse at the Cottage ho-
tel and used the sign language with
such eloquence that Mrs. Long agreed
to go with him again and promised
never to listen to the finger talk of the
young man. :. Mr.. Long said he
wouldn't take her back to Ingersoll
but he would go somewhere else and
endeavor. to get his wife where her
young friend couldn't find her soon.
Paola Spirit: "Got any roaches?"
asked a brakeman of Charley Rawson
at the depot lunch counter one day
last week. PLENTY, of them" replied
the proprietor, who isokept5 busy seven
pantry of the thew Tarnfnts. kse Is9 inn
sect paste and other -poisons scattered
around to kill the pesky things, but it
is hard job to GUST them. Why do
you ask :Well.'' continued the rail-
road man, ''roaches' are the finest
thing on earth to kill bed bugs. We
put them in the caboose and they're
the best bed bug exterminator GO
ing" Mr.. Rawson said he never
knew before that cock-roaches were
good for anything. and he gladly gave
the brakeman q number Of his biggest
ones.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16
BII1LY,s LUCK.

Billy was a lucky guy:
That's no He.
Seems to me I'm aIlus struck
Out by any bricks they chuck.
Have the Ineanest kind of luck.
Wonder whyi
Billy he would always duck
Lucky guy!
Doesn't matter how I try:
I am shy
l get conned on every deaI:S
Know Jest what 1t is to feel
Hungry and run down at heel.
Broke and dry.
Billy never lacked a meal.
Lucky guy!
Life insurance, that comes high
Hits the sky
Silly bought some. Went to bed.
Mighty sick, the doctor said,
sure enough he was. He's dead.
Bound some way to get ahead.
Lucky guy!
Chicago News
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16
Uncle boosters Philosophy.

Compromise-An amicable agreement
whereby both parties get what, they
don't want. seat
He who raises a long lock that he
arranges so as to hide his bald spot is
liar at heart.
what a mean, stale little chunk you
are!", said the rat bitterly to the cheese,
as he covered, caught by the paw. in
the trap.
Man is Just like street car. When
he is loaded up with drinks to- the
very nozzle, he still insists that there
is room for one more.-Los Angeles
Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

them and fewer Of the other kind.
Let's discourage these schools of vice
and crime. As sure as the young and
the susceptible attend them. just so
certain will ideals and thoughts be
contaminated, and vice will be the ma
tural result. 80 sgasazT4
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

sisted that the price be only a dollar
a plate, so as to be within the reach
of all. If Mr.. Bryan wants a popular
priced dinner in New York this time
he will have to put the price down to
about fifteen cents. New York can
not afford any dollar dinners this
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

The Lawrence Journal contains a
column piece under the heading,
poor Time for Demagoguery," in
which Governor Hoch is severely call
ed down for his remarks about banks.
W. R, Stubs ought to sign his COM
munications.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

Champ .CIark's declaration that
nearly all the one-gallus men are for
Roosevelt does not keep lot Of two
ralIus men from being for him, too.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

Very likely Mr.. Morgan and Mr..
Rockefeller will hereafter take pleas
ure in arguing that great wealth in
the hands of a few men is very use
full in helping out in time Of trouble.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

ssSenator Foraker threatens to re-
open the Brownsville question:" says
an exchange. He will have to use a
crowbar, Jimmy, some dynamite and
a lot of other things If he succeeds.
The Brownsville question is closed
toierably tight and the people have
forgotten about it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

when Coffeyville finds out how
nicely the commission form of gov
eminent works elsewhere, it may be
sorry that it acted SO rudely towards
the stranger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

1t is feared that Mr.. Hartman will
not approve the appointment OF ~Jo-
seph L. Bristow to investigate the Pa
cific Mail Steamship company.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16
FpON OTHER PENS
cR111sE OF GREAT FLEET.

The cruise of the battleship fleet
viii be a unique event IN history. The
aggregation NV VIII ase ee mSr1 for practice
of any sort. There have been greater
fleets once or twice in English wat
ers to mark some royal occasion, but
no British fleet as strong as ours mas
ever set forth to perform routine
work The combined fleet of Japan
and Russia during the war between
those powers were not equal to the
argreeatfon which sets sail for the
Pacific next month. In the size or
ships and guns and the NUMBER OF
American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

A seat on the New York stock ex-
change sold recently for 100000,
whereas they used to bring nearly
100000. But then, New York can't
eat seats on the stock exchange, so
what good does this drop in prices
do1
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

1t is reported that Vice President
Fairbanks is studying Esperanto, al
though he can already talk more
without letting anybody know what he
is saying than any other vice presi-
dent in captivity.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

Nobody believed that story aoou
General Grant once applying Tor
Confederate commission. anyway.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

w. D. Vincent of Clay Center, had
q severe attack of heart. failure a few
days ago. This is the same man who
used to give Congressman Calderhead
heart failure back in the nineties.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

Still, Wall street might as we'll take
the blame, even on it's own theory
that Roosevelt did it. Did not 1.-The
interests insist on his becoming vice
president in spite Of his = screams,
just because they did not want him
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

You win notice that the attendance
= the football games does not oenote
q financial stringency.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

King Menelik, It is stated. Is pre-
pairing to give his people constitu-
ton. Yet even now King Menelik' 8
people are able to endure a great
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

President Roosevelt's messages have
always called forth great interest, but
none more SO than his Forthcoming
recommendations to congress will
cause. It will probably be a historical
document
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

Misder Trickett, formerly uf K. G.
Kansas. gate der Chicago preachers
some pointers on how to close seloonss.
Now uf somevon else will gate dem a
car load uf padlocks und a fiddle brief
authority, dey may gedt results.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

The president has his message
about ready to send to congress-. but
it is feared he will not send for Mr..
Hartman to talk it over with him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

A dispatch from Omaha sayss a car
load uf powder to kill der Utes passed
trough dere recendtly. Dey forgot to
state vedder er nod i'd vas insekt pow
der, vich. from all We can hear, would
be uf considerable use. We hat i'd
straight dot der Utes ISIS bug house.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

rss.s see. Wasn't It announced
4sw months ago that Mr.. ]. Pierpon'
Morgan had retired from active Dusi'
ness
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

Aguinaldo approves the course OF
Secretary Taft, but thus Tar senator
Foraker has not Joined with Aggle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

Perhaps Anna Gould thinks she can
hoy q better husband next time nav
lanR the beneit Of experience.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

Now that Mr.. Bryan has SAID q
few words, the fireworks VIII COM
mence.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16
KANSAS CONMENT
SOME REMARKS.

The government Of the United
states, through its secretary of the
Ireasury. Geo. B. Cortelyou, last week
loaned to the banks of New York sew
eral millions of dollars, to help them
stem the tide of panic which swept
wall street. This is real neghborly
act on the part Of Uncle Sam, but do
you suppose he would lend money to
bank in a small city, to a farmer. or
TO merchant, in order to save the
small man from disaster? You and 1
might offer the best security in the
word, but the government would not
lend US dollar. 1t doesn't look ike
a square deal. The frenzied 1nan-
ciers down east have nobody to blame
for the hard times" but themselves,
and do not deserve sympathy, Dut
on the United States treasury that
they are willing to take long chances.
Here's the way 1t works:
The national banker in New York
invests. say half a million in govern
ment bends, upon which the govern
ment pays interest Then the banker
is allowed to issue money" to the
amount OF the bonds, and lends that
for interest, thus getting double IN
terest on his original sum. Money
thus being plentiful, business men ana
spectators take risks. Seeing that
people are heavily in debt, the banker
"retires" his circulation by deposltlng
the proper amount or funds wfun tne
his loans. Money then is hard to get,
and interest rates go soaring to the
sky Gas high as 125 per cent IN the re-
cent panic) and Mr.. Banker reaps an
other harvest from his victims. as do
the experienced manipulators of the
stock markets. Since the banker has
retired" his circulation, he himself
runs short of funds at last, and then a
Macedonian cry goes up and the sec
rotary of the treasury grabs Uncle
Sans strong box, throws or the liz,
and lets the bankers have all the
funds they want, at merely nominal
rate, or no rate at all. Whereupon
the panic is stayed, the fleece OF the
lambs is carefully stored away, the
banker increases his circulation by
putting up more bonds, and good
times begin again.
It may be ".lese majestic" or some
other heinous crime for us to ask, but
we'd like to know why good farm IS
not just as much entitled to be listed
as security for a government loan' as
a bunch of stocks and bonds?
And we'd like to know why the
small banker merchant or business
man is not entitled to Just as mucn
from the government
as the rich man? He fights just as
hard when there is war. ana ne
votes more often than the r1cn man,
and he is generally a blamed slgnl
more honest and charitable, added to |
which he raises the biggest famiEes,
and adds more to the real wealth OF |
the country because he is a producer
Of wealth.-Jamestown Optimist
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

AZ he IN q good Presbyterian, there
Win be no cocktails at Mr. Bryans
dfuner-perhaps.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16
FUIL LEASED WIFE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PHBcsss

we really can not say that MT. Bry-
axra announcement is any great sur
mise, .
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16
1INl4lGCIL1l

Der minstrel end man iss nod alvayt
so black es he iss painted,-likewise Ger
aferache colored woman iss nod so slate
grey es she iss painted.
A young 1aty vich chust returned from
Pannymaw, sayss any vomans can gedt
married dere. Chudging from der feet
dot dis laty came beck single We may
presumption dot i'd iss der kvantity und
nod der kvalidy to vich she had refer
ence, yet.
We opserfed dot Mister Soosy always
jumped oop on hiss perch ven der 500
prano approached der feet-lights. VI
you figger long enuff, you will opsairf
der anser. vich iss,-id vas der only way
he could see Offer her.
Und I am sdi1l wondering vot Chef
Eating will do ven der boos gifts ovdt.
Won should nod condemn q feet-ball
player on der Evidence shown py noos-
baper pictoor. Der feet-ba1list always
tries to look hiss meanest ven he has
hiss pictoor took,-id scares der enemy.
Der young dub in Mort Caryliny vich
silooted a friend chusd pefore gedding
married may hat suspected de Teller Ut
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

F. Dumont Smith, in hiss tour
around der world, wissited der chustly
celebrated Appian Way. I am going
to take day ouf some time und ask
Fred -vedder Id iss anything like der
Monkian Way uf a Kansas Lechislacher.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16
KEEP IF MOVING.

People who desire to prolong imam
cial and industrial distress, blocking
the wheels Of trade and throwing
workingmen out of employment. can
take no better way to accomplish their
end than by boarding their money and
neglecting to pay their bills: money
Of no use when 1t lies idle. Keep II
rnoying,-P Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

This is Miss Oklahoma'S birthoay
Mighty fine youngster, that Okla
homa.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

Aguinaldo says Taft IN all right
Tow what does Mr. Bryan tnini
about &c? - -..sr.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

1 candt hellup Wishing 1 could hat
heard vot passed pedween der shade uf
Baron Maunchaussen und der shade uf
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

At former Bryan dinners in New
York. the Great Commoner has in
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

In der biography uf Missus Psi-Ann,
vich will be shortly printed by my oldt
colleche chump Murrat Halstead, i'd ISIS
remarked dot she vas really a Tartar.
Derefore shall suggest es a feet-note
dot she hat been getting der besd uf
der Tartars all her life,--in oder words,
skimming der cream uf Tartar. Dere
ISIS no anser to dis foolishmendt.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

Down ad Wichita some burglars took
oop der carpet und beat it." Und dey
ditndt charche a cendt. Lasd week I
had to gif a colored chendleman swei
dollar to dake oop my carpet und beat
it. I hope pefore negst house cleaning
time dem burglarss viii seddle in our
midst
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

intention to tie ribbons on his trunk.
Dere ISIS alvavs a extenuation uf you
look far enough.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16
THE STEPMOTHER.

Even the president is imposed upon
at times. Recently the stepmother OF
five children exhibited the little group
before him, creating the impression In
the presidential mind that they were
her own dears.-Toledo Blade.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

Some heirs of George washington
have begun proceedings to recover the
town site of Cincinnati. on claim
100 years old. The inhabitants OF the
city have not yet begun to move out
however.-Philadelp Inquirer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16
NEW FTSH STORY

Mr.. Hartmann can, now add stu.
vesant to his list OF big ones that g
away.-Washingto Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16
THE OPEN MOUTH.

II more mouths could be closed
fewer banks would be closed
Charleston News and Courier.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

Train up a child in the way he should
go: and when he Is old, he will not de-
part from tt.-Proverbs 22.6.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16
A POLITICAL FAKER.

CONGRESSMAN Burton is looking for
the man who told him that he was SO
popular in Observation-Disclosures Cour-
ier-Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16
RooSTING HIGH.

The editor OF the Scranton GaZette
frankly confesses that he Is going 70
take to the woods in the coming con-
gressional fight, and view the struggle
from the top otsa tree. After reading
our Fourth district exchanges carefully
the past week, we feel 1t incumpent
.unon us to warrs the Gazette to get
pretty we'll up and obtain secure hold
to avoid being crowded out. There
seems to be others sofSthe same mind
Burlingame cbfonicle.--5-- 49,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16
WHAT CAN IT BE?

Prof Campbell of the Lick OBJ
seryatory reports that Saturn has de-
veIoped two bumps on one of It's rings,
and that it doesn't seem to be either
football or prickly heat.-Detroit
Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16
WISE MAN.

1t is easy to see now that the mar
who moved on a farm ten years age
had rare observation-disclosures News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-16

Und am sdi1l wondering vot Che
Eating will do ven der boos gifts oudt.