The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-27

THE wAsHINGTI
Endorsement Is going to have this effect
( upon Southern girls. he Is apt to lose
some Of his popularity down that way
An ossifed man has willed his body
after death TO Harvard University. AS
be can not. BY any stretch of the mag
.uaticn. be classed as a moliycoddle. the
University will doubtless be duly appre-
ciative
The pending question. who is the
greatest Americana must, necessarily,
continue TO pend until the close Of the
| baseball season.
The order of the Rich Mans Conspir-
acy is a much more exclusive organiza-
/ ton than the order of Ananias Any
+ old thing can get in the latter organiza-
/ ton. but il takes a stiff property qualifi-
cation to get in the former.
A critic objects 10 Mr. Roosevelt's
/ statement concerning his intention to
formally open the jamestown Exposition. -
/ Well. the President may split infnitives,
1 buE ne doesn't spit mars.
! Jan Jankowsh wants the courts 10
change his name 10 John Smith. This is
/ the open season for John Smiths.
/ And now it Is discovered that Senator
/ Wetmore's seat in the Senate is No %
! Senator Tillman Is said 70 be mad clear
through because his audiences show a
/ tendency TO grow smaller and smaller.
/ Perhaps the Senator has rather overdone
/ that sort Of talk
A New York surgical society complains
/ that the ambulances are driven so fast to
the hospitals that it endangers the lives
of the patients. The idea is, perhaps, that
/ the longer the patient can be kept from
sthe surgeons. the better chance he has TO
escape with his life.
London has a new verb. "to suffrage"
which, according to the Hartford Times,
may be used in this way: She was ar
rested while suffraging." over here dis
/ orderly conduct covers the same ground
The Car complains that the debates in
/ the Donna amount TO nothing. The same
/ condition prevails in Congress. but no one
/ ever heard Uncle Joe" complaining
about IT,
The more see Of foreign peoples. the
I better / think of my own" says Mr.
/ Henry Watterson. That's right. Marse
Henry: there's no place like home,"
Tariff reform is the only T. R. that we
are willing to have Mr. BRYAN nominate
/ in the next Presidential fracas." says
1 Tom Watson's Weekly Jefersonian Mr.
Roosevelt viii probably have equally as
much 10 say in regard 10 this suggestion
as he has had 30 say concerning Mr.
/ Graves suggestion.
Howdy, Spring! Is IT really you. this
time?
The sun shines brightly. the bees hum
merrily, the birds sing sweetly'' down
about Bristol. Tenn, according 10 the
Herald-Courier. It's an easy guess that
there is an editor planning fishing trip
The King of Slam styles himself
! Brother of the Moon and Half Brother
I Of the Sun" This indicates that he is
certainly some planets step-sOn, but as
20 that he Is silent
Another New York woman is on trial
for murder, but as she never figured in
'Florodora" sextet, the trial is not
attracting very much attention
The Houston Post is having a hard time
squaring its strawberry yarns with that
recent Texas snowst0rm.
An Indiana man has made three sepa-
3 lfFannFE "a Faff d.
knows. and each lime he laughed so
heartily before be got 10 the point that
he dislOcated his jaw. IL is hard luck 10
I have a story Ike that on your mind and
not be able 70 get il on.
"Uneie Joe" Cannon. unaccompanied
/ by large and varied assortment Of
adiectives. viii 90 TO Danville. III, soon
I 10 spend the summer with his grand
children.
Supersutious uuisances are pointing
out the fact that the jamestown Expo
sition was opened on Friday Oh. well.
this country was discovered on Friday
Col. John A. Joyce. IN a poem published
in the Baltimore American, speaks OF his
| flight from pole to pole" Mr. Well
man might get some valuable pointers
from Col Joyce.
Pittsburg people are said to be suffer
ing from 'penumOnOkOniOsiss q pseudo
mOl0tlc formation induced by carbonaceous
Accommodations" Smoke up, Pittsburgerst
The peace bout is finished. and grim
visaged Stead hath smoothed his wrinkled
/ front
Pennsylvania woman is suing q
former sweetheart for kissing her more
than two years ago. Surely there ought
/ TO be some statute of Limitation provided
/ for defense against this sort of litigation.
Those new postage stamps with Capt
! John Smiths picture on them are very
nice, Of course, but they would make a
much bigger hit in Georgia If they bore
l Hoke's likeness.
Why lie Did Not Marry.