The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-07-27

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There are times when words fall q
man but IL he has wife 1t doesn't
matter much.-Chicago Daily News.
The way to get rich is to lay up part
Of your own income and as much as
possible Of other people's.-Somervills
Journal
Jennie-Did you hear of the awful
Olive-Yes, indeed was there and
saw her.-Tit-Bits
Frightened Actor-The leading lady
Is tearing her hair! Stage Manager
Well, what Of it7 1t Isn't her hair.
Detroit Free Press.
Mrs Browne-Mrs. Wythe says she
thinks that it is wrong to play whist
Mrs Black-It is, the way she plays 1t.
-Somerville Journal.
"You have no sense Of humor," he
complained. "You can't take a joke"
Il took one when I got you," she Bit
terly replied.-Chicago Record Herald
Tom-Mamma, let's move. Mamma
What for, dear Tom-Oh, I've licked
every kid In the block. an there's no
more fun here.-Chicago Daily News
Girl Ito crying little brother)-
Aren't You ashamed Of yourself, Dicki
Bobbie says he has already given you
two bites. Dick-But It's my apple
Life.
Shea-How long have you been sick3
Ryan-Five days. Shea-Glory be!
An why don't ye git doctorl Ryan
Sure, got to 60 to wur-ruk Monday
marnin'.-Puck.
Come In here, wish to tell you a
piece Of gossip Mrs Smith told me-"
us 1t good?" as itf l had to prom
ise not to tell soul before she would
tell me."-Houston Post.
Higgins understand your son 10
pursuing his studies at college. Wig
gins-Yes; but from what can ascer-
tain, don't believe be Will ever catch
up with them.-Chicago Daily News
Mr.. Meanly-I see they are wearing
gowns longer this year. Mrs. Meanly
(fiercely) We'll, II they wear 'em any
longer than do, they will have to
make 'em out Of sheet-iron.-Pick-m
up.
Little Dimpleton-How long will II
take you to give me working knowl-
edge in jiu-jitsu? The Professor-Oh,
say, two weeks "But, heavens, man,
I can't wait all that time to get rid Of
that cook."-Llfe.
The inspector of police was before
the commissioner. els there graft In
your precinctT demanded the superior.
II think not. responded the inspector.
"My impression Is that l got 1t ALL
Philadelphia Ledger.
Hicks-I dropped around to see the
Fitz Kloses in their fat last night, but
I couldn't get In. Wicks-Not at home,
ehf Hicks-Yes, they were all at
home; that was the trouble.-Catholic
Standard and Times
"Sold your automobile, eh?" exclaim-
ed Wyss. what was the trouble p
Couldn't control It." explained Acher.
when I ran fast 1t took me to the
police court and when ran slowly II
didn't take me anywhere."-Harper's
Weekly.
Magazine Editor-Your sonnet has
literary merit, but l can't use 1t be-
cause 1t does not conform to the esab-
lished rules Of sonnet writing. Ambi-
tlous Young Contributor-That Is Its
chief merit, sir. 1t establishes a new
form for the sonnet.-Chicago Tribune.
The attendant In the dentists office
approached the man with the swollen
Jaw who had just entered. do you
want to have a tooth extracted" she
inquired. want to-" he snorted. "Want
to! What do you think l am, a luna
ticf I've got to."-Ann Arbor Chap
arral.
Uncle Eben (telling the Sugarville
news to his urban nephew)-An' Bill
Hanks hez hung out his shingle ez a
lawyer. 'That fellow Why, he can't
even read" "Oh, Bill knows what
he's a-doin'. He's goin' t make q
speshulty of this onwritten kind, thet's
maxim sech hit hyur lately."-Puck.
Chicar ELI, who had to leave on q
Journey before the end of a case be-
gun against him by neighbor. gave
orders to his lawyer to let him know
the result by telegraph. After sew.
eral days he got the following tele-
gram: Right has triumphed." He at
once telegraphed back: appeal immi-
diately."-Il Mundo Umoristico.