davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-09-16
lamb with Mint Sauce.

Il was walking down an English
lane with an English girl on an Au-
gust afternoon" said Richard lie CALI
enne. 'The sun shone through soft
haze, and in the green fields many
white lambs played.
"Is it any wonder said, that POI
cts from time immemorial have made
the lamb the emblem Of innoceneeT
"The young girl smiled radiantly.
Lambs she said, are indeed de-
lightful animals, especially with mint
sauce"
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-09-16
His unlueky Days.

Seated in a row on the porch OF an
old country inn, with their chairs
tipped back, some old cronies were go
ing on about unlucky days. After all
had given what they considered their
unlucky days a quiet old chap at one
end spoke up;
"Aall tell We ma unlucky days. Aa's
fund DOT In ma time that it's unluclzy
Re be struck vi leetning on a Monday,
or te be catched wiv circular saw on
n Tuesday, or te tumble overheard on
q Wednesday. or te be run over by a
motor ear on a Thursday, or lose a ten
pun note on a Friday, or be bitten
by a mad dog on Saturday, and hev
nowt for dinner on the Sundayr'-
radles Home Journal
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-09-16
a. She Heard Il.

As She Heard Il.
A fashionable woman had a bit Of
statuary bearing the inscription "Kis-
met" A housemaid busting the room
asked the mistress
"Shure, ma'am, what's the m'anin'
OF the writin' on the bottom Of thisT'
"oh, you mean Kismet' It means
fate"
Bridget was llmplng painfully when
out with her sweetheart not long aft
erward and apologetieally explained.
"Faith, have the most tirrible corns
on me kismet Ladies Home Jour-
nal.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-09-16
AZ supper With the LeqlsIators.

A drummer stopped at a hotel IN
Montpelier, Vt, when the legislature
was in session. 1t was the headquar-
ters of many Legislators.
At the supper table they begun to
call upon each other to pass the food
in this wise "Will the man from Brad
ford please pass the rollsf" "Will the
gentleman from Essex pass the picf"
"Would the man from Portland please
pass the butter?"
The drummer had been unable to get
anything, and during a brief interval
OF quiet he turned to the colored waiter
and remarked, "WiI the gentleman
from Ethiopia please pass the breadf'
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-09-16

The common custom Of setting corn.
cribs upon posts with inverted pans at
the top often fails because the posts
are not long enough to insure that the
lower cracks OF the structure are be-
yond jumping reach of rats. The posts
should project at least three feet above
the surface Of the ground.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-09-16
A Remarkable BABY.

A teacher disturbed by giggling call
ed upon one Of the culprits to tell him
the cause.
"Please. sir" responded the lad,
Turner says baby who was fed ele-
plants milk gained ten pounds a day.
Turner" said the teacher sternly,
"you should not tell lies"
''But it's true, sir" rejoIned Turner.
Whose baby was it?''
'PThe elephants, SIR" 5f
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-09-16
A rhonrhtlul polieeman.

Policeman holding down tramp On
sidewalk No damage me'am he's
merely having a It,
Kind Lady Gracious Shall | get
some water and throw II IN his face
Policeman You want TO kill him
SEATTLE Post .Intellioencer.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-09-16

In aliopathy and It was sooa an
nouneed that she was the mother At
bouncing twin boys
'sThe other sister came down in
bury. Well, she said, now see What's
happened, / wanted you TO have \
homeopathic doctor. After this guess
you Will listen to me-
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-09-16
A Matter Of Doctors.

'sThere were two sisters living In
Michigan" said Senator Burrows, who
warred constantly about the two great
schools Of medicine. One pinned her
faith to allopathy and the other to
homeopathy.
zone day there was great excitement
In the family Of the lady who believed
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-09-16
He Didn't Throw Il.

Miss Pechis" said Mr. Timmid at
the other end Of the sofa, "if l were
TO throw you a kiss wonder what
you'd say"
We'll, replied Miss Pechis, I'D say
you were the LATEST man ever saw"
philadelphia Press.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-09-16
KIeked the Wrona Man.

AftNFN~N NtfS StAH NNftF
A young married man in Boston met
a friend of his bachelor days and in
sisted on his coming home with him to
lunch. His wife was unprepared for
visitors and, calling him aside told
him she had only one dozen oysters
and that when his friend had eaten
his quota Of four be must not be asked
to take any more. In spite Of his prom
ise to remember, when the guest had
eaten his four the host pressed him to
take more The wife looked distressed,
and the friend declined every time the
husband asked,
Later the wife said to her husband:
''How could you urge him TO have
more oysters when had explained TO
you that there weren't any morep
"I'm very sorry said the penitent
husband, "but forgot all about IT,"
Forgot about 1t! What do You sup
pose was kicking You under the ta-
BILE forg'
"But you didn't kick me-"
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-09-16
Inclination unexpressed.

A letter dictated by an old gentle
man runs thus: ''Slr, my stenographer,
being a lady, cannot take down what /
think or you. l, being gentleman,
cannot express it, but you, being nei-
Their, can readily divine II"
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-09-16
cArrMNY.

CALUMNY.
A whisper woke the air.
A soft Hight tone, and low,
Yet barbed with shame and woe.
All! Might It only perish there.
Nor farther gol
But moi A quick and eager ear
Caught up the little meaning sound.
Another voice has breathed Il clear.
And so it wandered round
From ear to lin, from lip to ear,
Until 1t reached gentle heart
That throbbed from all the world apart,
And that-it broke!
Frances Sargent 0sgood.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-09-16
a Family Jar.

Wife-I don't know where that child
got his vile temper from-not from me,
I'm sHre
Husband (sadlyl-No my dear You
pert,ilutv haven't leet nnv at paurs-
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-09-16
g1AS1A, ~ ~, -,
THE SCRAP BOOK
ISygSVESNIyS " " " W " w W Wv

What 70 no Waer Won Drop an EGG.
AT breakfast party ID England
which Joseph II Choate attended while
he was American ambassador a young
lady at his right accidentally spilled
the contents OF her plate.
ooh, Mr.. Choate," she exclaimed, II
don't know what 70 40, for i've dropped
an egg on the fioorv'
Eli were you I'd cacIxle."
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1907-09-16
She Knew Him.

An architect remarked to lady that
he had been to see the great nave in
the new church. The lady replied.
Don't mention rames; l know the
man you refer tor
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-08-08
W0OlNG SLEEP.
A Prescription That Worked Well In
PHILADELPHIA

Philadelphia.
A haggard looking man strolled into
a downtown drug store the other day
and asked the druggist for help. He
said he had trouble in getting TO sleep
when he retired. No matte.' how
sleepy he might be during the day or
how much sleep he might have lost,
the moment his head touched the pill
low he was wide awake and lay thus
for several hours. Once asleep he was
very hard 10 waken, but he had to be
up at Il certain hour. and in conse-
Quence of his peculiar atilictiOn he was
losing more sleep than he could stand.
The drug clerk regarded him quiz
zically few moments and then re-
piled:
"My dear man, You don't want medi-
cine. What you want IS something to
change the trend of your thoughts.
Do as friend of mine did He was
troubled the same way and found that
the old folks plan of imagining sheep
passing barrier and counting them
was out of date, so he began trying to
name all the states in the Union. lie
soon got them so he could classify
them alphabetically. Then. when they
no longer interested him, he started on
the counties of his state He now has
them at his tongues end, classified up
to the fourth letter. Now he is start
ing on state capitals and their loca-
tons. Then he will take up county
seats. y moments glance at an atlas
during the day shows him when he is
wrong, and the beauty of the plan is
that he rarely has to think along these
lines longer than ten minutes before
he is sound asleep. TO make it short
the study of geography is a good mar
cotic. "-Philadelphia Record.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-08-08
Shooting the Steenbuck.

Many of the poor Beers in the Trans
vaal, by whom all the shooting that
is done is for the pot and not for sport,
have perfected a system of shooting
with the assistance of oxen. y steen-
buck has 10 fear of cattle and Will
lie still even if they Craze right up to
him. The hunter gets together few
cattle and with his gun walks behind
them in such way that he cannot be
seen from the front Great care has 10
be exercised to drive the oxen so that
they may seem to be grazing natural
ly. The hunter must be ready to shoot
without having to alter his position.
The slightest movement is noticed by
the buck.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-08-08

lar view Hoke Smith is trained
man of affairs. Long experience in
public life has taught him not only
the elements but the minutiae of gov
eminent. He knows better, perhaps,
than the Legislature what is good for
the people of Georgia as a body, bat
he knows, too. that the vote shows
further individual opposition to be
futile
One of these days the state of
Georgia will realize that Governor
Smith is right. 1t will find itself will
ing to return to local option and high
license. 1t will be glad enough TO
relegate the bootlegger, the blind tiger
and the moonshiner and to accept in
their places the licensed, police-con-
trolled dispensary that obeys the law
and helps TO support the state. Geor
gia will go through the experience OF
Kansas. Iowa, and Maine.
She may, indeed, erect a monument
to Hoke Smiths better judgment.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-08-08

The Countess Waldegrave was mar
ried four times. One evening she APP
peared at the opera in Dublin during
her fourth husbands occupancy of the
post of chief secretary for Ireland
An audacious Celt, catching sight OF
her ladyship in one of the boxes, shout
ed out with real Irish temerity, Lady
Waldegrave, which of the four did you
like beStT'
The countess was equal to the oc-
casion. Without Il moments hesitation
she rose from her seat and exclaimed
enthusiastically, why, the Irishman,
of course'-a remark which naturally
brought down the house"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-08-08

II costs a good deal to transport g
heavy commodity as steel rails by
railroad, and about the only points
in the United States where our raj
makers have ever felt foreign COM
petition are on the Gulf of Mexico
or the Pacific coast, points far dis
tant from Pittsburg and accessible
by vessels from Europe But now
Pittsburg reports that the steel cor
poratiOn has secured a contract for
10000 tons of rails from the Japanese
Imperial railway, and the rails Will b.
forwarded overland from Pittsburg t.
Tacoma. 1t is striking evidence of
the low cost of rails in this country,
and of the ability of our railmakers II
meet competition anywhere, that the
steel corporation can sell rails in Japal
even with freight charges across the
continent.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-08-08
Georgia's Undertaking.

The state of Georgia, against the adj
vice of Governor Hoke Smith, viii
presently undertake a battle for the
enforcement of a blanket prohibition
law. The trouble will begin next jan
uary, when it becomes a misdemeah0r
to make or traffic in or give away OF
keep at ones place of business any
form of alcoholic liquor The law pro
vides for medicinal demands, which
provision forecasts a fine situation
for the corner druggist and the max A.
of prescriptions.
Governor Smith, in recent address,
said that he favored local option as a
solution of the Georgian liquor prob.
lem, but the legislative endorsement
Of prohibition is so positive that he
gas compelled to support the popu.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-08-08
The Field Fortune.

The late Marshall Fields two grand
sons, who bear his name, but will never
come fully into the possession of his
wealth under the terms of his will,
have been taken to England by their
widowed mother, and are to be brought
up as young Englishmen. They are
now at the Rugby school, and the moth
er intends TO have one enter the Eng
lish army and the other the English
navy. As very rich young officers of
his majesty's service they will natur-
ally manifest the utmost contempt for
all persons who follow the example of
their eminent grandfather and engage
in trade. These Field lads are scarce
ly so fortunate i'll spite of the millions
awaiting them. as the western youth
whose grandfather recently left in his
lion to be paid over when the boy
REACHES a certain age, provided he shall
prove himself to be Il patriotic Ameri
can citizen.
Marshall Field was never surpassed
by any business man in the world in
ability. His accumulation of $150.000.
600 in merchandising, real estate and
railroad shares was a phenomenal
achievement. To have the increment
of this vast wealth, says the New York
Times, devoted to the support of a pair
of English military handles is about
the lamest conclusion to which the
wealth-getting of any American multi
millionaire has come.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-08-08
Peculiarities of Lon1 Island.

The class in geography in one of the
Brooklyn schools was asked by the
teacher, What are some of the natural
peculiarities of Long Island?"
The pupils tried to think, and, after
awhile, a boy raised his hand.
II know" said he.
swell, what are they?" asked the
teacher.
why" said the boy, with a tri-
umphant look, ION the south side you
see the sea and on the north side you
hear the sound"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-08-08
So Deceptive.
Many Rock Island People Fail to Real
ize the Seriousness.

Backache is so deceptive
1t comes and goes-keeps you guess
ing.
Learn the cause-then cure it,
Nine times ont of ten it comes from
the kidneys.
That's why Doan's Kidney Pills cure it
Cure every kidney i'll from backache
to diabetes.
Here's a Rock Island case to prove
it:
Thomas Bealer of 1909 Sixth avenue,
Rock Island, IL, says:
q suffered from kidney complaint.
backache and urinary weakness for -
years. The pains in my hips and limbs
were very acute and came when /
least expected them, and on several oc-
casiOns | had to go home and go to
bed. The secretiOns from my kidneys
annoyed me very much both day ahl
night. 1t was necessary for me to get
up many times during the night. The
passage of the kidney secretiOns was
far too frequent and | could not con
troll them. The urine contained n
thick sentiment and was almost white
in color. | tried many remedies, but
without success and the ailment was
getting worse all the time. Doan' :
Kidney Pills were recommended to me
by a friend and ! procured box N
the Harper house pharmacy. After
tal1inC tho first hoy I wnC nj wDrl,
again, and after taking three boxes
was completely cured. The results OBJ
tanned from using Doan's Kidney Pills
are swift and sure
For sale by all dealers. Price, 80
cents. Foster-Milburn company, Buff,
falo, n. Y, sole agents for the United
States.
Remember the name - Doan's -
and take no other.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-08-08
A BOY HUNT.
Chased From Hedge to Hedge by Big
Pack of Weasels.

Pack of Weasels.
The following extract from an inter
esting book may be of interest to our
friends 1t is From My Life as az
Angler" by William Henderson, pub
lished in London in 1879.
About this time, while rambling in
the picturesque lane leading from Mer-
ringtOn to Windlestone with two other
boys, an adventure occurred sufficient
ly startling to two little fellows from
nine to ten years old. We We're busily
engaged in picking wild Strawberries.
which clustered in the hedgerows,
when we saw at about a hundred
yards distance pack Of at least
twenty weasels running from hedge to
hedge and evidently scenting out foot
steps. 1t flashed upon us that we were
being hunted. So, springing over the
nearest hedge, we ran across a pasture
bank, looked back toward our aSsaii-
ants. To our dismay we saw the whole
pack, with noses to ground, steadily
tracking our course. The word was
given, Run, rum and off we scam
pered across another field to take up
our position on another hedge. Still
the pursuit was going on. and the crea-
lures We're evidently gaining upon us,
So with a wild shout we fled to the
village, which, happily for us, was not
far off. l have frequently heard OF
persons being attacked by weaselS, but
was never hunted by them on any 9th
er occasion"
The above must have occurred about
1912, the locality being the north OF
England.-FOrest and Stream.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-08-08

a German professor has solved the
question of talking by wireless tele-
phone. His experiments have been
successful at distance of - miles.
and he claims that the possibilities Of
extending the distance are almost linn
itless. During the past 81 years thous-
ands of persons have successfully solg-
ed the question of how to regain an
retain their health. and that is through
the aid of Hostetter's Stomach Bite. >.
No remedy is quite SO well adapted 70"
the stomahc strong, restoring
the appetite and aiding digestion as
the bitters, and that is the main rea-
son why won ought to try a bottle ut
once. We guarantee it to be absolute
ly pure. 1t will cure dyspepsia, bill
iOusness. cramps. diarrhoea. female
ills or malaria. fever and ague. BE
sure to insist on getting Hostetter's.
KOdOl for Indigestion ana dyspepsia
is a preparation of vegetable acids and
contains the same juices found in Z
healthy stomach. 1t digests what you
cat. Sold by all druggists.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-08-08
EataIism Exemplified.

She-I hope, dear, that you are not
going to worry about my exceeding my
allowance this time.
He Frightening up)-You don't mean
to tell me, dearest, that there isn't any
necessity for it?
Certainly not. What's the use Of
worrying about something you can't
p?"-Ncw York Life.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-08-08

The Louisville Courier-JOurnal takes
the view that the democratic platform
Thou Shalt Not Steal" will not win
over republican voters. They are 50
stoutly committed to the present tariff
rates that an indorsal of the command
ment would be highly irregular They
prefer Dingley before Moses.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-08-08

The escaped ape which broke into
jail through a window at St Joseph.
Mo, must have been reading of the
antics of the chimpanzee CONSUL ii
New York. Even an ape may have
some family pride.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-08-08

After three days of persistent effort
to produce fair weather, despite the
inclination of the elements to the con-
trary, the official weather prognostica-
tor has finally capitulated. He says
we are going to have rain now for
awhile. Let us hope he is still off in
his done
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-08-08

A Muskogee Indian who must have
read OF the recent exploits in dress of
Mark Twain and J. J. Hill, attempted
TO attend church in a suit of blue union
underwear and a sack coat.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-08-08

The Alton girl who was nearly
drowned by a mammoth member of
the finny tribe perhaps was testing tn
theory of the big fish yet uncaught.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-08-08

surely YOU nave Iosu lot or flesh
lately. have you notT'
81 have that. Eve lost me 'ushand'
r weighed nineteen stone when g
d."--Lor don Telegraph.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-08-08

Senator Foraker wants to know
where tariff revision is TO begin. How
would it be to start on the products of
Standard Oil?
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-08-08

With a 370-foot lizard skeleton IL
Wyoming, 40-foot snake in Nebraska
and 4O-pound watermelons in Texas,
Mr.. Roosevelt must be undecided
which section of nature fakes to attack
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-08-08

1t is now announced by music pub
fishers that the 1-cent price for pOpu-
lar songs is a myth Thank our stars,
Likewise bless our ears!
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-08-08
THE ARGUS.

Published Daily and Weekly at 1924
Second avenue, Rock Island, Ill. tEn-
tered at the postofflce as second-class
matter.l
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-08-08

Chicago husbands are quitting their
wives at an alarming rate. How happy
these women should be.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-08-08

The school desk trust has been
booked as a fraud.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-08-08

The Industrial commission is now
ready to produce results. The people
are ready to cooperate.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-08-08

France evidently believes the sultan
OF Morocco is a leather head.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-08-08

Even the Alton sees a hard road
ahead
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-08-08

The Flesh She Lost.
you're not looking well, Mrs. Giles.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-08-08

BY THE J. w. POTTER CO.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1907-08-09
The Roman Citrate.

Gales are very rare in Rome and new
er blow with extreme violence. The
most striking popularity Of the Roman
climate is the absence of high winds.
The air is pure and clear, owing to the
almost complete absence of smoke,
even in the winter months. The aver
age yearly movement of the air is only,
five miles an hour. This IS of enormous
advantage in winter, since the s'tra-
montana" OOrth wind. which is the
prevailing wind in this season, is, if
strong. decidedly cold and bracing, but
when under eight miles an hour is de-
lightful for most people. including in
valids. The south winds are essen
tally sea breeZes. They frequently
alternate with the tramOntana. The
sirocco Southeast wind, which fOrtu-
aately does not often blow, is moist
and enervating. 1t gives rise to languor
n most individuals.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1907-08-09
MONOP0LIES AND rings.
Olden Time Schemes For Obtaining
Wealth and Power.

Olden Time Schemes For Obtaining
Wealth and Power.
The evil of monOpolies and rings was
known to ancieDts. Aristotle referring
to them in his Politics. and then, rs
ROW, it was found necessary to hoIG
them in check by legislation The no
nopolist was in Roman law called Il
dardanarius and punished under the
Lex Julia de Ammonia. MOnOpOlies OF
clothing, fish and all articles of food
were prohibited by the Emperor Zeno
under pain of confscation and exile, so
that it is certain that the rings Of
the ancient days were as mischievouSs
as they are now. At Athens a law linz
tied the amount of corn a man might
buy. The earliest recorded instance we
have was 4 corn ring
There is an ancient tradition that the
king who made Joseph his prime min
lister and committed into his hands the
entire administration of Egypt was
Apepi. Apepi was one of the shepherd
kings and ruled over the whole of
Egypt as Josephs pharaoh seems TO
have done. The prime minister during
seven years Of remarkable plenty
bought up every bushel of corn beyond
the absolute needs of the Egyptians
and stored it. During the terrible fam
inc that followed he was able to get
his own price and bartered corn sue
cessively for the Egyptian money, cat
tie and land and, taking one-ffth for
pharaoh, made him supremely wealthy
1t was not merely a prOvident act, but
very polite one, his policy being to
centraliZe power in the monarchS
hands.-LOndon Answers.