davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03
CONFUSION.

From the Boston Post.
 The late A. J. Cassatt, at dinner at the Philadelphia Country club, was once asked his opinion of the new fashion of women riding horseback astride.
 "I don't altogether favor this fashion" said MT. Cassatt. smiling. T think 1t leads to confusion.
 "I was driving one afternoon on the Lancaster pike when a rider was thrown violently from a spirited bay horse. Luck fly the accident happened in front of pharmacy.
 'The pharmacist ran forth with his clerk He propped up the head of tho unconscious rider, and, seeing a gold cigarette case lying in the road, he took it up and read the address, P. s. Browne, 1917 Walnut street.
 Jack the pharmacist shouted to his errand boy telephone to Mrs. Browne, 1S17 Walnut, that her husband has
 But just then a tiny gold hand mirror with a powder puff attachment fell from the riders trousers pocket, and the phar- macist called:
 "T mean, Jack, to telephone to MT. Browne that Mrs. Browne has fallen"
 But at this point the clerk, who had been burning a feather under the riders nose. tickled her lips with it, and she smiled and murmured:
 'Jim,
 And then the pharmacist shouted:
 Telephone Mir and Mrs. Browne that Miss Browne has fallen off her horse"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03
WHEN HILL GOT MAD.

From Everybody's.
 Ordinarily one of the quietest men in the world, James J. Hill has. when un- duly provoked a temper that would blast all in his way. St Paul still tells with giee the story of an occasion when, maddered by the persistent bad service of the Bell Telephone company there. he tore its instrument from the wall. threw it out into the back yard and kicked it to pieces. On another occasion when, according to his notion things were going all wrong in the Great Northern offices. he made a journey of improve ment" that is still remembered with a shudder He went from department to department. kicking open the doors as he travelled and sending the unfortunate en- ployes, from the heads of bureaus to office boys, in terrorized flight before him. One door resisted because of a desk that stood in front of it on the other side. He shattered the door into splinters and the desk when he got through with 1t was a wreck.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03
NO SALUTE AT PANAMA.

From the Washington Herald
 We rather like the way in which Mai Frank Goethals sets about his work in Panama He seems to be eminently prac- tical anxious to show results, and espe- cially anxious to avoid anything spec tacular dn connection herewith
 T do not want a salute from any man on the job" said Major Goethals, when he first took charge. We like that. It sounds business-like. determined, master ful. It indicates that we have a man
 behind the shovel at Panama who will make the dirt fly and who will get a showing for Uncle Sam's money. It means maximum of work and a mini mum of talk-and typewriting
 A military salute is a good tsing-in 1 its place. We do not seek to %ttle it, nor diminish it's importance. But it is of no very great importance on the big ditch. In order to salute the officer. we will say 1t would be necessary for the sa- utter to pause in hds work at least ten seconds If he found 1t necessary to do this three times a day he would useless ly employ one-haf minute of his time doing something from which no tangible good could come. small matter where one man Is affected, but total when | thousands are involved that would mean a great deal in the course of the time necessary to complete job like that at Panama.
 The point, however, lies in the evident fact of Major Goethals' intention to brush aside everything in connection with this stupendous undertaking which is not strictly pertinent to the imemidate physi- | cal needs of the moment. He approaches h f,c1 al who seeks the limelight for public inspec- ton. He has had very little to say since he took charge of things. His mind seems strongly to incline to the actual proposition before him, and if he gives other than scant attention to the spectac-
 ular side of his work we fail to make note of 1t.
 Unless signs are not to be read aright Major Goethals is a man who will get | results at Panama. We believe in him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03
| B. Wards Successor

w. l.. Garner, the well-known banker of Ozark, has been appointed agent for the state to assemble the states ex- hibit and to place it in the Jamestown exposition. He takes over the work assigned to MT. Ward because the lat ter has become probate judge of Henry county.
 MT. Garner will need this month the aid of every individual, company and commercial organization that desires to see the state creditably represented at Jamestown. He will need all possi- ble volunteer assistance in addition to the sum of $25,000 furnished by the state. The money of the state will not accomplish much unless it is reinforced by individual energy on the part of patriotic citizens.
 Upon Mr. Gamers energy much depends. He is expected to be the man on the spot, who is to magnetiZe and set in motion all other workers. Time presses, and the gathering of specimens of our resources and prod \ 's should not be delayed an unneces-
 minute, for every minute of de-
 is loss of advertising to the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03
------se-------- WHY HER HIRED GIRL STAYED.
She Was Given a Cozy, Comfortable,
 We'll Furnished Room.
From the Kansas City Star.

From the Kansas City Star.
 I was spending the day with Mrs. Cur ts, who lived with her daughter. We spoke of the difficulty people have in keeping good helpers, even when they get them
 My daughter Fannie never has trouble keeping her help" said Mrs. Curtis. Come up stairs and I'll show you why" And she led the way to room away up in the third story, under the roof. in- deed. There was not a thing In 1t brand new, or showy, or fine, but on the other hand there was nothing broken or out of repair in any way, or looking in the least as If cast off from one of the rooms be- low. Everything looked as if selected from the family stock of furniture for It's suitability to that room. to provide rest and comfort Tor two sef-respecting young ladies tired with a hard days work.
 Though 1t had register there was also a small stove. so the occupants need not be chilly if In their room when the fur mace fire was low. There was a good closet and proper toilet articles. The windows were very small, but they com manded fine view and were daintily curtaned with pretty dotted Swiss
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03
To Live In Birmlnqham,

q like Birmingham so well that l am going to make it my home.' said w. l.. Brennan, a drill contractor of Pennsyl- vania, who is doing important work for the Birmingham Iron company. Mir. Bren- nan is known among construction com panles from Canada to the Gulf of Mex ico, and has. 1t is said, drilled greater masses of rock within the last ten years than nay other man in the business.
 q will open an office in the Title Guar antee building next month and will make 1t my southern headquarters. This is a wonderful district and its possibilities are limitless."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03
All the charms
Mr. GraY's Insurance Plan

Manager Sibley of the Equitable Life does not make much headway against Lieutenant Governor Gray's proposi- tion when he lugs into the discussion Grover Cleveland. The fact that MT. Cleveland draws large salary from the insurance companies need not be invoked. All that need be said is that MT Cleveland discussed not the loan ing of insurance money on real estate security but he was discussing bills to compel insurance companies to pur- chase securities in particular states. The two things are wholly different the one relating to purchases and the other to loans-and Mir. Sibey needs another witness, and he should seek one that is not drawing from the in- surance companies a princely salary
 The life insurance companies do not pay out as much money as they re- ceive. As a rule the big companies collect from three to four dollars year when they pay out one. What MT Gray desires is that one-half of the net Alabama money received be loaned in Alabama. No one will say that the money cannot be securely loaned in this state, and no one will say that the rate of interest here on the proposed loans would be below rates obtained elsewhere. All of the big insurance companies loan money on real estate security, and neither MT. Sibley nor MT. Cleveland can show wherein 1t would be better for the Alabama policy holders to cart away their money to be used in Wall street manipulations than 1t would be to loan it in this state on real estate.
 This is not an unimportant matter. A steady drain of several millions a year in life insurance premiums will keep this state poor. Either the req sonable plan presented by MT. Gray should be adopted, or else Alabamians should organize home life companies and give them the business that now flows in a vast stream to companies In distant states.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03
THE MESSAGE.

THE MESSAGE. Comes message from the river, Where the current sweeps along ihrough a wilderness of blossoms, To the Hitting of a song, Ana 1t whispers to the dreamer Of a spot beneath the trees Where the water blends its murmur With the signing of the breeze. An, the melody is haunting And the words are sweet to hear or this message from the river, Growing clearer and more clear. And the dreamer stops and listens And in fancy steals away From the cares that surge around him For an endless holiday. Toiler, heed the rivers message, Let it sink into your soul While a multitude Is straining For q dim and distant goal. Happiness is by the river. Where the current sweeps along And the world rocks on forever To tine Hitting of a song. Where are our poets?' asks A con- temporary. We'll some of them are blowing, others are clerlSing in stores and few are selling standard works over
  doing almost anything to make living.
 BACK AGAIN.
 Dear fathers returning,
 He knocks at the door.
 His troubles are ended
 House cleaning is o'er. MT Robert Fitzsimmons' press agent speaks of him as a natural actor" which probably means that MT. FItzsim- mons acts according to his own nature, that of a prizeighter and a blacksmith. Even a press agent would not have the nerve to assert that it means a natural born actor.''
 ENVY. The lily-fngered son of rest Is by no cares and troubles prest. He walks abroad where all may see And loafs through life contentedly. We scorn him and his idle ways And for him speak no word of praise, And yet, egad. if we could play Wed no doubt do 1t every day And loaf just as he does, forsooth And be a good-for- nothing youth The lack of coin keeps many men At work with hammer pick or pen. Gage E. Tarbell has son named Swift Tarbell. He was arrested for speeding the other day.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03
WHY THE COURT SMILED.

From the Boston Post.
 . A lawyer, whose attainments were scarcely of the first quality, was arguing in one of the Philadelphia courts before a patient judge. His argument was not without flaws, and at one point he fair ly screamed out that if his client had done wrong then he, the lawyer, was equally wrong, for he failed to see that any fault had been committed.
 "But, MT. Blank" urged the judge, fig norance of the law excuses no man."
 Your honor," shouted the lawyer, 'l do not want any excuse, what l say is excuse enough"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

I '"where do you stand?" asks a bold ad. vertiser Not anywhere long. if there is a chair in sight CHANGE OF HEART. Goodbye. April. On your wayl We're just shouting For Miss May! Once there was a man who said, Money is not everything in life, and l will have none of it." He starved to death.
 It is said that a certain chorus girls eyes are so bright that bachelors in the front row have to wear green goggles. Fine days are coming" says a poet. Where are they. sweet singer7
 PLAIN AS DAY. The man who hopes And says, Gosh ding, I won't be downed By anythingl" Is pretty apt
 To win prize
 And be respect Ed, ere he dies.
 The man who mopes
 And mournfully
 Says, There's no chance
 At all for me-"
 Will never know
 The worlds acclaim, Or wear a pre-
 Fix to his name. Trouble for Travellers" is an editorial headline The chief trouble for travellers wears 6 blue uniform and a cap marked PORTER"
 In list of new moving picture films we read: " Sailors Return. highly dra- matic; Mothers Sin,' pretty dramatic morsel: Village Fire Brigade big laugh; Bobby Burns beautiful and holding; Polar eBar Hunt wonderful; 'Brurphy's Wake novel and great; Nice Till Death most beautiful; Catch the Kid a scream; Anarchists Mother-in-Law,' screeching, and Eggs, roar'
 THE POLITICIANS WAY.
 About the purpose of reform
 He freely likes to gab,
 And yet he'll never lose a chance
 To engineer a grab There is a machine to keep people from snoring' also one to raise the dead. This certainly is a mechanical age Write his name thus-w. t. stead-and let him go. PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03
PRESS POINTS

St. Louis Times: It's the uncrowned laureate who seems still to be writing the poems of England.
 Arkansas Gazette: There was a strike in the Texas oil fields last week, and 1t was not strike of oil
 Memphis commercial-Appeal; Teddy is | certainly an artist when 1t comes to touching off an exposition.
 Nashville American Tennessee prob ably has more laws. general and local, than any other state in the union. Washington Herald: MT. Bellamy Storer will spend the summer at Back Bay, but will carefully refrain from indulging in any back talk.
 Savannah Press ''I am taking Presi- dent Roosevelt at his word" says Colonel Watterson. The colonel doesn't want to be put in the Ananlas class
 Louisville Courier Journal: The Spanish soothsayer who says the stork will bring a princess to Spain is regarded by King Alfonso as a common knocker
 Florida Times Union: Nature smiled on the opening of the Jamestown exposition. You see it was on the right side of the line where nature can be trusted to smile
 Youngstown Telegram: Panama, once known as a breeding place for disease, is now furnishing vital statistics ahead of the average city In fact, she may yet become a great health resort for Ameri- cans.
 New Orleans Times-Democrat: Ambas- sador Bryce Is quoted as declaring that this country's great need is poets. Every editorial waste basket from Maine to California can furnish abundant evidence to the contrary.
 Portland Telegram: Baldheaded men are not annoyed at the Increased rate Portland barbers will charge for hair cutting. However, these selfsame men would probably be willing to pay dollar for a hair cut if they could have one.
 Spokesman Review: The New Orleans Picayune and some other southern pa- pers are showing great concern over the naval weakness on the west coast" It is certainly kind of them to be so inter ested in the protection of the west.
 Providence Journal The theatrical at traction which Is advertised in advance as ''the songiest and girliest music play of the year. must be fearfully and won derfully made Most of it's predecessors have been distinctly of the same order. Washington Post: Since MT. Bryan de- clared that he would gladly serve as President without salary if he had a million dollars, everybody seems to be waiting for John Temple Graves to sug- gest that the amount be raised by popu- | lar subscription.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
le New York Press

From the New York Press.
 Too many beaux for a girl wear out the string.
 Paying pew rent leaves the same kind of taste in your mouth as taxes.
 A girl will accept most any kind of ex- cuse for kissing her except that you didn't mean to.
 One nice thing about children is you learn to be thankful you haven't any other troubles that are real
 Men will never be enthusiastic about go- ing to heaven until they know what the rules are there about smoking.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03
ALABAMA PRESS

Anniston Star: Cuba now wants standing army. The trouble may be to keep 1t standing.
 Mobile Herald: The Thaw trial produced two phrases "dementia Americana and "Tenderloin jealousy"
 Eufaula Times: Oklahoma has pain fully built up another constitution and is standing by to see whether anyone is going to kick the foundation from under it.
 Montgomery Advertiser ''Will your books stand a heavenly audit?" asks New York minister of his congregation. Very likely there were some among his auditors who would be glad to know that their books will stand an earthly audit.
 Anniston Hot Blast; Chulalonghorn, the King of Siam, who Is to visit this coun- try. is known as the Brother of the Moon," Half f-brother of the Sun" and "Arbiter of the Ebb and Flow of the Tide" Now, if he can get chance to shake hands with Roosevelt, he should have enough glory for this world.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03

Our fellow citizens of the Philippines our brown fellow citizens-are to elect a general assembly in July, which is to meet and legislate in September and October if 1t meets the views of the Philippine commission, which holds the veto power.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03

President Ingalls, says the time has come when the railroads must obey the law. This new doctrine is posi- lively shocking to the magnates who bought the legislatures that made the laws
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03
WHAT IS GooD2

By John Boyle O'Reilly. What Is the real good?" I asked in, musing mood. Order, said the law court; Knowledge, said the school; Truth, said the wise man; Pleasure, said the fool; Love, said the maiden;
 Beauty, said the page; Freedom, said the dreamer; Home, said the sage; Fame. said the soldier; Equity, the seer.
 Spake my heart full sadly, "The answer is not here" Then within my bosom
 Softly this l heard: Each heart holds the secrets Kindness is the word.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03

The mahogany furniture in the Penn sylvania capitol proves to be truly American. It was made from birch wood that grew at home. Stand by home industries.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03

In view of the fact that Andrew Car negie has whiskers, W. T. Stead might have more fittingly called him goat,
 instead of COW, although the change
 would have spoiled MT Stead's meta phor
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03

Both the friends and the enemies of Governor Hughes in New York state want him to go higher. The latter want him to leave the gubernatorial office
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03

A cry for open waterways is spring ing up in all parts of the country. And yet there are some in this district who do not yet appreciate an Open War rior.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03

One of the most colossal pipe dreams on record was that of Cecil Rhodes, who dreamed that Great Britain would ultimately recover the United States.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03
SIGNS OF THE TIMES.
From the Omaha Bee.

FrOm the OnldIld Eet
 Bids were opened at Washington for s1, 60o,0O0 worth of naval gun forgings about an hour after President Roosevelt appointed the American delegate to the peace parliament at The Hague
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03

The Jamestown managers evidently wish some of their critics had the task on their own hands. They know what would happen about that time.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03

St. Louis desires to become the head quarters of the new inland waterways commission. A branch office should be opened in Birmingham.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03

The ice trust should put up money enough to enable Peary to reach the top of their profession.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03

New Jersey is still turning out trusts, her latest and worst being the new theatrical merger.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03
MAKING DUSTLESS ROADS

petroleum and sand, Is applied to the roadbed much after the manenr of tar mac"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03

A lighting plant for the Czar is to be made in this country. He can get plenty of light on how to run his em- pire free of charge over here.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03

Louisiana is trying to ascertain how long molasses will sustain life, and yet there are thousands that have been raised on it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03

The Ohio presidential race was opened a year ahead of time, and both sides were ready.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03

Mayor Mcclellan and the Tiger have lain down together, but thus far 1t does not appear which Is inside.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03

William Jennings Bryan draws large audiences even in Vermont, where a democrat is rarely seen.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03

The only thing that keeps John l.. Sullivan from marrying again is the fact that he is already married.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03

High financiers and magnates do not yet see why they should be expected to obey the law.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03

The May queen wore, 1t is to be hoped, ear muffs and overshoes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03

Bro. Stead says the New York peace congress was parochial, and it accom- plished nothing. That settles it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03

The "E. P. U" highball 1t seems, is nothing more than an D Pluribus Unum highball.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03

The Rev. MT Aked breaches around John D.'s pew, not directly at it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03

Stocks do not shrink in values, for water is not in that class. It is not valuable.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03

The stage loses beauty when Edna May quits 1t for the state of matri- mony.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03

The presidential campaign cannot after all be pulled off this year.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03

The announcement that Peary will lecture on the north pole does not mean that he will climb up the pole to do 1t
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03

w. J. Bryan has had many dollar dinner in his day, and he is soon to eat another.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03

It is now difficult to say which is Elyton and which plain old abused Birminghani.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03
RepubIIc-Tennessee Properties.

Speaking of John w. Gates retire ment from active business in Wall street, that gentleman never had a preponder- ating interest in the Republlc-Tennessee syndicate, although the public has per- sisted in regarding him as the leader" said a man prominent in the industrial world 'MrN Schley, MT. Gates, Mr. Ogle- bay, MT. Hanna. Mir. Duke and several others own an equal interest. MT. Schley is the financial leader and Chairman Top ping is the leader from an operating point of view I happen to know that every thing in the way of development and ex- penditures Is left to MT. Topping. What ever he recommends is approved by the executive committee. He Is, therefore, not only the official head, but the actual head of the Republic company and the Tennessee company. There was never a more harmonious group of capitalists in control of any large plant than the set of men owning the control of the Repub- llc-Tennessee. These gentlemen have ab- solute faith in the Birmingham district, velop their properties In the way that ne deems pest
 "As the Wall Street Journal pointed out the other day, the Tennessee company, under the present management, has been transferred from a speculative to an in- vestment basis. It is no longer a Wall street football. Had the interests now | in control acquired the Tennessee for stock jobbng purposes, they could have l ,tt,In Ha1 at after they bought it. The fact that the new directors have spent good deal of | time in inspecting their ore and coal mines and furnace and steel plants, and have already expended, on MT. Topping s recommendation, several million dollars | in development work, makes it evident that they came to stay and to make all
 the profits on their investment that a | businesslike and liberal policy will ad- nit"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-03

April made record that any month ought to be ashamed of.