davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26
Behind n Girl

Been to the theater this weekg'
Yep"
What did you see?"
a black velvet bow, some tortoise.
shell combs, g couple OF plumes, a chiffon
knot and stuffed bird about the size OF
a hen"
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26
what Made 1t Even Worse.

fT0m stay StoTles.
Judge-You admit having taken the
prosecutors pocketbook containing the
bank notes and unpaid bills?
Prisoner-Yes. but took part of the
money and paid the bills
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26

Get out in the spring sunshine and
hear the sturdy plowman swearing at the
mule" says the Atlanta Constitution. or
come up here and listen TO the sturdy
shoveler swearing at the snow.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26
Innannaabie.

Game near being a bad FIRE at the
theater last night.
How was that?"
The villain lit a cigarette and tossed
his match into the snow"
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26

Mr.. Bryce began his official career ia
this country by declining to answer a lot
Of fool questions fired at him by a bevy
of reporters from the yellows. He has
starred right
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26
CouIdn,t TEL a Indy.


Let me see said she, what is it you
call those men who run automobiles"
Pardon me-" replied the gallant man.
I'm too much of a gentleman 10 tell
you what I call them"
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26

The Indiana legislature has passed a
2-cent-a-mile passenger rate bill, but II
stipulates that ~ cents per mile shall
be paid when no ticket is purchased.
This gives the conductors a showing, and
still leaves the road a chance TO break
even.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26

a Boston physician says he can make
a chemical maple syrup that cannot be
told from the genuine. He would not dare
assume such power concerning a Goldfish.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26

Mr.. Roosevelt says football is all right.
II now remains for him to give baseball
q certificate Of character. If he wants to
soiidify the athletic vote.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26

Should people refrain from riding IN
automobiles during Lent2" asks the
Charleston News and Courier. Well. the
chances are that the great majority Of
them will
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26

"a bachelor smoked IN his dem sings
a sweet Georgia pOetess. Since Mr. Cleve-
land started the thing at Chicago a few
days since, everybody seems disposed 10
make the bachelor smoke.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26
Explaining Them All.

From the Detroit Free Press.
Senator Bailey is stiIl endeavoring to
make it plain that he was in no more
deals than he can explain
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26
Some Crooks.

Some people pride themselves that they
Succeed where others fail,
BY which they merely mean to say
They've never been IN Jail.
Catholic Standard and Timek
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26

The Chattanooga Times speaks Of Sena-
tor Carmack's temporary retirement
from the Senate" That sounds good
but it would. perhaps, be unfair to ask
the Times TO go into particulars.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26

"The American business man always
has his eye on the dollar" says an Eng
lish critic. The women are not particu-
larry interested in it, however, until it is
marked down to 80 cents.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26

Marie CorellTs statement that she can
not resist the impulse to write has brought
out a large regiment Of volunteers who
express a burning anxiety to help her
try
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26

We are not sure about Senator Clay's
proposition to investigate the cost of the
Philippines. Perhaps We might feel even
worse about 81 IL we knew more.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26
Cruel.

I assuah you. Miss Gladys, that ideas
fairly flash through my bwain.'
And do you ever try to stop one,
ChollyTi
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26
Frye in the Press Gallery.

Senator Frye wandered into the press
gallery yesterday at the lunch hour. His
cigar was half smoked up. lie stood Just
inside the door for a moment putting
away at his weed and gazing cUriously
down on the scene below. Looks good
from up here" soliloquized the Senator
between puffs. Some pretty fne-looking
men down there on the floor as seen from
this elevation he added still talking 90
himself and still putting great clouds of
smoke
A thin stream Of the smoke curled
through the half-open doors into the main
body Of the gallery. It's aroma was
shifted by the vlgilant Jimmy Pres
ton, custodian Of the gallery and admin
istrator Of its rules. one of which for
bids smoking I'm that part Of the gallery
within the Senate chamber Through the
doors rushed Preston He discerned
through the darkling circle of smoke the
stern countenance Of the statesman from
Maine out again dashed Preston. lie
did not know what 10 do II ne did not
enforce the rule he would be lacked NJ By
the rigorous samuel George Blythe, chair
man of the press committee, and maybe
Senator Spooner, chairman of the Com
mittee on Rules, would also Jump aboard
his frame. Around in concentric circles
the hapless Preston whirled What should
he dO--what could he do-what dared he
do? Senator Frye continued complacently
10 puff away, and the smoke continued
meTrily to swirl. Finally the Senator
concluded to leave the gallery. but not
until he had listened to the sound OF Sen
ator Beveridge's voice raised in advocacy
Of his amended meat-inspectiOn bill.
80 ~
about and strided majestically out of the
gallery Preston clapped his hands in glee.
and the trail OF smoke marked the Maine
statesman's way. The press committee
may be called upon to investigate Senator
Frye Mr.. Spooner viii be consulted
about it first. Is Preston wholly gufltless?
That is the question now.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26

A battle between Mr.. Taft and Mr..
Hoke Smith would certainly be what you
might term a heavyweight goi
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26

There appears TO be something brew
ing" says the Newport News Times
Dispatch. Perhaps it Is the spring supply
of book beer
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26

five or six dozen body servants. there is
no one OF Washington's old friends now
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26

When he contemplates Mr.. Roosevelt's
success at reforming the spelling Of the
English language, King Edward must
hesitate to tackle the reformation of the
English prayer-bOok.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26
Quite So,

1t has captured our whole nation,
lis so swell,
That aliuring "OndulaIiOn
de Marcel
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26

Perhaps there may be a war after al!
The Hawaiian authorities are trying 10
prevent certain japanese subjects OPEN
ing a saloon at Honolulu
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26

Missouri's surrender of II. Clay Pierce
to the Texas authorities is rather a grim
JOKE considering the fact that Missouri
has not got him TO SURRENDER.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26

New York's Great White Way seems
to be any way but the right way 10 re-
ceive white treatment.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26

So far. that colored brother to Re sworn
ia as something in Cincinnati has not
been furnished with anything like a copy
Of the oath he is TO take mot.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26

Three generals in the Nicaraguan army
have been wounded during the progress Of
the present war, but the private is still
unscratched.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26

Emperor William is a good nephew au
right. He waited until his royal Britain
mic uncle became King before publicly
demanding 10 know what he did on one
Of his trips to Paris.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26
The Twins in Brown.

Regardless Of the wind or weather the
wOmen's gallery Of the Senate opposite
the Vice Presidents stand contains every
day two occupants who watch the pro-
ceedings Of the body with an interest
of such marked intensity as to denote
keen anxiety over something or some
body below. They are young women who
look enough alike to be twins. and
always dress alike-usually in brown.
They are careful 10 get there early
enough in order that they may get seats
on the first row, and generally sit close
10 the diplomatic gallery. With Their
elbows resting upon The railing and their
faces supported between their hands
they sit through every session. They
have been doing this through both ses-
sions Of this Congress. Nobody seems 10
know who they are or what their special
interest is IN the Senate. Their faces are
as familiar 90 Senate habirues as is that
OF the oldest Senator. Their attire is
natty and their faces bright They are
never accompanied by q man. and APP
pear 20 take no notice OF other persons
in the gallery. They sit and watch and
listen until the Senate adjourns or an
executive session is ordered. Grave and
reverend Senators are wondering who
they are. and are now calling them the
Twins IN Brown.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26

BIr. Dtlmas says he forgot the Thaw
case on Sunday. II must have been ex-
ceedingly painful to remember it again
On Monday.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26
Senatorial Courtesy.

From the New YORK Nail.
Keep your seat, Mr.. Smoot
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26

SO far as Philadelphia is concerned, the
star-eyed goddess walked right in. turned
right around, and walked right out again
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26

Naturally. with Mr. Cleveland making
a speech and Mr.. Roger Sullivan nursing
a mayOralty boom. Mr.. Bryan couldn't
waste valuable time upon Chicago at that
moment
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26

George Bernard Shaw is going to write
a play in which George Washington will
hgure. And with the exception Of some
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26

Two Democratic Congressnen-elect from
Ohio, Aiessrs- T T. Ansbery. of Defiance.
and N. r. Denver, Of Wilmington, are in
the city. The latter is the son Of Cen.
Denver for whom the Colorado capital
was named. He was in Congress fifty
years ago. These gentlemen will have a.
fun consultation before returning home
with Representative CARRIER. OF their
State who is at the head Of the Demo
cratic machine in Ohio"
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26

Mrs Gaddabout can't keep a secret"
oh yes. she can"
What makes you think 500"
she told me q half dozen Of yours she
was keeping"
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26

Prom the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Some DAYS you were quite fierce to see.
Some days your blizzards did apppan.
But. now you're going, Wen agree
You really We're not bad at all
The Washington herald., 1907-02-26
AT THE HOTELS.

''Our diversified system of education in
the United States is one Of the many ad-
vantages the nation Possesses" remarked
Or. W. o. Thompson. president Of the
Ohio State University. at the New willard.
DR.. Thompson has been at the head OF the
university for the past eight years, during
which it has prospered exceedingly.
"AIl our different schools" he continued
meet different needs. and each OF them Is
useful in its particular way. The co-edu-
'cational institutions are to be commended:
and so, too. the separate colleges for
women have a field Of their own. The
.church schools. the trades schools. and
the agricultural and mechanical colleges
are doing magnificent work The result
is general enlightenment. Education is 10
longer the exclusive requirement Of the
classes, but permeates al conditions Of
society. Aside from the moral and intel
lectual uplifting education is great
asset from the unitarian point of view
1T pays to educate. One Of the great
causes Of our national prosperity is the
high average Of American intelligence.
Men who are educated nave such great re-
spect for themselves that they want the
best the world affords; TO get this best
they must have the whereWith to buy. and
thus we see the direct incentive 20 thrift
and industry which produce wealth"
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1907-03-28
a Fool Question.

A witness from the country had
been sworn and taken the witness
stand, and the prosecuting attor-
ney, settling down for the exam
nation, asked as starter:
"What is your name, sir?" o.
The old man instantly became
angry. Leaning far forward, he
exclaimed:
"Now see here, you can't run
any of this monkey business in on
me. I heerd you tell the clerk to
call my name, SO I know ye know
it all right, blame ye, anyhowr'-
Florida Times Union.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1907-03-28

Tense against the moral and mates
rial interests of mankind, and
should be regarded as the common
enemy of the human race"
Now that is partly strong Ian
guage for starter, isn't itp But
the convention of 1899, was only
a beginning, the one that meets
next June will accomplish great
deal more than that one did. Ev-
cry independent state on the globe
has received and accepted an in
vitation to send representatives to
the first congress of the human
race; that is what 1t will be, for
every human being on the face of
the globe will be represented at
the next Hague convention.
Now in this age of enlighten-
ment, genius, and invention, when
man had almostsolved the mysteries
of nature, why shouldn't he solve
this peace problem? You may
depend upon it that be will. For
my part, anyway I look at this
proposition, it always resolves it.
self into this question:: If retail
murder is wrong, why is whole
sale murder right?
The proposed plan Of procedure
at the next peace convention is
this: Each nation will be asked
to declare itself on this question.
England, France, Germany, and
the United States, are expected to
form a Peace League, and extend
an invitation to each nation to
join. OF course Russia, Japan,
the Scandinavian States, the Bal
tic States. Italy, and a few more
will line up with the league.
Turkey and Austria are uncertain,
but they and those scrap-loving
little republics Of Central and
South America don't cut much of
a figure, for the balance of power
will already have been established.
This league will form itself into
not only a Board of Arbitration,
but into a court of Equity as well,
and settle all international dis
putes now pending, and be pre-
pared to settle all that may arise
in the future. That will be the
end of war and the beginning of
"Peace ON earth and good will
toward men," r. S.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1907-03-28
Couldn't Fool Him.

An Irishman was arraigned be-
fore police court judge on a
charge of assault and battery.
care you guilty or not guiltyY'
asked the clerk, when he finished
reading the charge, to which the
prisoner replied:
Glow can [ tell until l hear the
evidence ?"-Green Bag.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1907-03-28

eyes, ma'am," the convict was
saying, "I'm here jist for tryin' to
fatter rich man."
s'The ideal" exclaimed the pris-
on visitor"
"Yes, ma'am, I jist tried to imi-
tate his signature on a check. -
Philadelphia Press.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1907-03-28

"Let me CO." pleaded the pick
pocket. "This is my first offense. +"
eyes," replied the pedestrian,
placing his wallet back in his
pocket. II noticed that you were
just getting your hand in
Harper's Weekly.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1907-03-28
International Peace.

says he would like to see that
bloody tragedy done over again
with that very statement disavows
his kinship to the human family.
We will next view the Cru
sades. The whole of Europe took
part in them, and in my opinion
they we're the most stupid enter
prises that history records. Their
object was to recover the Holy
Land from the Mohammedans.
The Crusades lasted thru period
of two hundred years, and five
millions of Crusaders lost their
lives, and as many millions OF
poor, helpless children were made
orphans; and as many millions OF
wives, mothers, and sisters were
b4thed in tears. That is what it
cost Europe to learn liberality OF
mind. The Mohammedans still
hold the fort, and if you were to
visit the Holy Land tomorrow and
had a curiosity to see Christ's
burial place, OF any other spot of
interest, the very first thing you
would have to do would be to pay
tribute to one Of those boys wear
ing pair Of boomers.
England passed thru two revo-
lutions and hundred years OF
contention before receiving reli-
gious federation, to say nothing OF
the political upheavals and feudal
wars that have fallen to her lot.
France has experienced more po-
litical hurricanes, and has passed
thru more bloody wars and revo-
lutions than any country OF mod
ern times. Who can recall the
"Reign of Terror without heart
pang, or the siege of Paris when
sixty thousand men, women, and
children we're butchered like
beasts, the streets were running
rivers of blood, the shrieks of wom-
en- and children could be heard
above the roar of battle. Yet the
war demon knew no mercy. Can
the human mind conceive of a
more appalling sight? Such are
the fruits of war. Still we con-
tinue to build battle ships; still
we continue to equip armies; still
we refuse to reason, but must fight
it out, and kill and slaughter each
other like the beasts that we are.
We will next look upon that
awful drama of the seventeenth
century, the "Thirty Years War"
Of Germany, in which twelve mil
lions of Germans persisted. This
war lasted thru a degeneration,
and nearly decimated the country.
But the saddest, cruelest, and most
fiendish crime committed during
those thirty years was when Mag
denburg was taken by assault.
This occurred on a beautiful Sab
bath morning. Forty thousand
men, women, and children were
inhumanely butchered, without
quarter, without mercy, and with
out remorse. But what were those
Germans fighting about? They
we're fighting about their religion
but bear in mind they each and
every one of them prayed to the
same God. The only question IN
dispute was the mode or style OF
offering up that prayer. And
that very same God that they all
prayed to had handed down to
them by Moses on tablet of stone
this commandments: ''Thou shall
not kill" (Now there is incon.
sistency for you in large chunks.
That thirty years war is what il
cost Germany that man might
worship God according to the die
tates of his own conscience.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1907-03-28

Make it a point to see Success
written everywhere and 'Failure!'
nowhere.-Ex.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1907-03-28

the public mind today. but
none [ think of such vital
Importance to every human being
as international Peace. 1 have
given this subject great deal OF
earnest thought, and will try to
set forth in this paper the conclu-
sions that I have arrived at: LIS
war good thing? No! Is peace
a good thing? Yes. Is war nee
essary? No. Is International
Peace within the range of posi-
bllities? Yes. Then why not
have peace?
We will have peace, and that in
the near future. All indications
point in that direction, and [
feel safe in saying that, ere the
passing of the present generation
International Peace will be an es-
tablished fact; for at this very
moment the stirring OF conscience
is manifesting itself thruout the
civilized world. At last the hui
man race has begun to wake up to
the fact that war is mistake, a
blunder, and crime.
The foundation of this move
ment is broader than any nation
or race. 1t extends around the
globe, it reaches down and takes
hold of the heart-the connecting
link that binds every man to every
other man. No movement can be
universal one unless it appeals
to the heart, aud nothing that
really appeals to the heart can be
less than universal in it's scope
and influence.
Why does this movement appeal
to the heart? For an answer to
that question just glance back ov-
err history's pages and you will
see unfolded there before your
vision one continuous panorama
of blood, carnage, desolation and
misery. But what caused all OF
this horror? Religion caused
most of it, politics caused some
of it, and combination of greed,
arrogance, ignorance, and brutality
caused the rest of it. Now can
any man point to these as good
.ause? I'm sure l cannot.
It is not the purpose of this pa
per to arraign any religious creed,
or political party for it's past mis-
takes, but honestly and candidly,
do you believe that there ever was
a man converted to Christianity at
the swords point? Or do you
think there ever was a political
enemy transferred into a bona
6de political ally by the same pro-
cess? No. Brute force has never
been the means of winning mans
confidence. or changing his belief;
that is against the laws of human
nature, notwithstanding that meth
cd has been in vogue for thou
sands Of years.
I do not mean to say, that by
any human wisdom, all of the
wars of the past could have been
averted. I'm also willing to adj
NIT that some of them have
brought about good results. But
at what a cost, at what sacrifice
of human life. [ have no desire
to dwell upon the melancholy
side of this subject. 1t is also
outside the scope of this paper to
bring up for view all the bloody
tragedies Of the past, for mere
mention Of the tenth part of them
would fill a volume. But that we
may learn lesson from some OF
them, [ will ask you again to draw
aside the curtain of years and
look backward.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1907-03-28

| StruCtlv0 war or mOQ0Tn C1m05.
Just think of it! Brother against
brother, father against son. Each
clamoring for the others LIES
blood. Think of the desolation
and misery wrought by that dread
full war. Think of the desolate
homes; think of the grief-stricken
wives, mothers, and sisters; think
of the poor little children-but
what's the use; draw upon your
own Imagination as much as you
will, you couldn't possibly conjure
up in your mind a picture horrible
enough to fit the occasion And
when we remember that this dread
full calamity could have all been
avoided if men had only listened
to reason, why it makes the pic
ture more dreadful still. But
enough of this, or you will think
I'm writing about war instead OF
peace. So let US consign all of
this misery and sorrow to the
tomb of antiquity where it be-
longs, and look forward to brighter
prospects in the future.
There is an old proverb that
says, "In time of peace prepare
for war" But [ say, in time OF
peace prepare to continue that
peace.
I have referred to the fall of
Rome because it was the most
gigantic tragedy in the history OF
the world. I mentioned the Cru
sades as they appeal to me as be-
ing the most stupid enterprises
that men ever engaged in. All
else that I have said about war in
this paper bears directly upon
England, France, Germany, and
the United States, and these four
nations are the ones we must look
to for International Peace, and
with reason, too, for I'm sure they
have each had enough of war.
Just as soon as they say the word,
war will be thing of the past.
This old world will be much
happier abiding place, and every
workingman can enjoy the fruits
of his labor, for it is his money
that builds the battle ships; it is
his money that pays for the main
tenance of the army and navy; it
is his money that pays the war
debt. In fine, he pays for every
thing, and does the fighting be-
sides.
Now let us see what has really
been done toward establishing
International Peace. The first
peace conference met at The
Hague May Is. 1899, and closed
July 20. Twenty-six powers were
represented. And there was set
in motion the movement that l
referred to in the first part of this
paper, and that movement has
spread to every corner of the civil
lized world. Men have just COM
menced to realize that this num-
dane sphere is large enough for
them all to live upon in peace.
OF course it was a hard job for
some of them to get that idea
thru their heads, but they are not
to be blamed so much for that:
when you think how they were
hedged in by thousands of years
of custom and tradition.
At this first peace conference
some of the delegates, notably
those from China, were very re-
served and noncommittal. But
that didn't hamper the proceed
ings in the least, for those dele
gates that were there for business
went right ahead with it, and let
John Chinaman rubber. At this