Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-01-03
Wor-rd."

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AS Policeman Barney Flynn differs
little-at least, in one respect-from
the average man of limited means, the
approach of Christmas found him
troubled, not to say pessimistic. He
heard the customary talk about Christ
mas; he saw the Christmas advertise
ments in the papers and the Christmas
goods in the shop windows; he read
the accounts of Christmas plans for
feeding or otherwise remembering the
moor; and the only effect it had on him
was to make him jingle the lucky
half dollar he carried in his pockel,
and shake his head dolefully.
""Tis tn da-ay iv tn rich,' he said
to himself. otis tn time whin ye
wa-ant twinty thousand dollars FIR to
do tn Fright thing be all tn good
people we know, IT'S tn da-ay iv give
an ta-ake, an if we can't give ye're
ashamed FIR to ta-ake, an there we are.
T was diff'rint in tn Oh days whin
| was a la-ad, but now livery wan
who ha-ands we out a two-bit sca-arf
Expects FIR to ha-ave as good or bet
ther ba-ack from We, an tn ray-sult
Is we all go br-roke givin' things that's
Nv no gr-reat use to amy wan, but tn
shtorekeepers that sells thin. IT'S
FIR me to shtall tn good woman be a
little ta-alk iv har-rd times befoor she
spinds tn rint money buyin' FRED ties
an siX-f'r-a-nickel see-gars be tn
box"
With this object in view Policeman
Flynn entered upon a systematic cam
paign to discourage Christmas shop
ping, and he did it with his usual dip
lomatic ability.
Eye can't impriss a thing on tn
mind iv a woman be sayin' it wanst
an lettin' it go at that" he told him.
self. eye must ding-dang 1t into her
head without lettin' her know what
ye're doin'."
So he began to drop incidental re-
marks about poverty and hard times,
with a casual suggestion from time to
time to the effect that there would be
no Christmas in that house. Later,
whenever the moment seemed propi-
tious, he aired his Christmas views
more at length, and even illustrated
them with occasional stories. All in
all, he congratulated himself that he
vas accomplishing his purpose with
exceptional cleverness and strategy.
Think Nv tn bargain days that fol-
lies Chris-mus!" he remarked one day
at breakfast. "'Tis tn wa-ay Nv tn
world. Whin we ha-ave no money
tn lads in tn shtores is thryin' fr
to ha-and things out to we at Hiss than
ha-alf tn cost to ma-ake thin. Ohio!
they're sma-art min, those %fellies. All
tn year ye're sayin' to thin that they
niver thruly sell annythin' at liss
than cost, an tn day afther Chris-mus
they come back at we an say: Well
prove to ye now that we can do that
very thing be offerin' tn goods at liss
than cost whin ye're not in sha-ape Fl
to buy Thin l tell we, Mary, tn wise
wan ~ III lCllJ IluJ PldLlo L l W Jd-dhG
thin up whin they ma-ake tn bluff.
The logic of this seemed unanswer-
able to Policeman Flynn, and a few
days later he supplemented it" by re,
minding her that the year before she
was near dead f. thinkin' Nv tn things
we c'u'd ha-ave an comparin' thin
with tn things we did ha-ave, all be-
cause iv tn ba-ad habit iv goin' br-roke
wanst a year" Next, after a reason
able interval, he told her about Cullen,
one of the men at the station.
9TH only throuble with Cullen" he
said, was that his hea-art was so big
an RESPONSIVE that he c'u'dn't button
his visit over it whiniver amy wan
or annythin' appealed to it. He had
a good head, too, but t was nawthin'
beside Nv his hear-rt. His head was
always givin' him tn Fright tip, but
his hear-rt w'u'dn't Fave him listen to
it. That's why tn byes at tn station
has fr to dodge him regular afther
Christmas. He come. to me on tn
twinty-sivinth da-ay Nv last Day-cim-
ber-I ducked him on tn twirty-sixth,
KNOWN tn kind Nv a la-ad he was, but
he cornered me on tn twinty-sivinth
an he says to me, he says, Barney,
he says, I ha-ave up to tn house. he
says, a br-right green nick-tie, an a
red nicktie, an a polky dot nicktie,
an two pipes, an a box Nv see-gars,
an ol-gold pair Nv suspinders, an
some shippers, an a fut-rist,' he says;
AN the good wom.n do be havin' a
sort Nv a dolly thing, an a silk pitti-
coat, an some shtockins with pale
blue clocks on thin, an a pink SHIRT
waist, an a little statoo Nv Vanus fr
to put on tn kitchen shelf, an a
wather-caraffy, an a new taypot,' he
says, AN tn childher has a r-red
s~ca-arf, an a SHE'D, an a pair Nv
ska-ates, an a toy gun, an a little pa
throl wagon. an some blocks, an a
shteam mime Thin he signs an
says: Barney. | niver intinded f'r
to do 1t, but We know how 1t is ye-er-
silf. VIII we lind me tn loan Nv a
tw%o-dollar bill SOS we can ate till tn
mkt pay-day?' That's tn wa-ay Nv tn
ma-an with tn big hear-rt, Mary, an
SO I've had me hear-rt ossiied."
This naturally had its effect on Mrs.
Flynn. 9TH poor ma-an," she said
to herself; 'he do be ha-avin' a hazard
time " It e tn money, an It's fr
me to help him out" So she glad
dened his heart y proposing that they
ignore Christmas entirely. As that
was tire very idca .fst he had in mind
all along. he readily acquiesced. And