Sequachee Valley news. (Sequachee [Sequatchie], Tenn.) 1896-1952, 1907-10-31
copyrighted 1907 by c. H. RIETH.

name from novem, meaning nine. The
Der, which we would spell burr, was
added by Nimrod, the quail hunter.
He had an Irish setter with which he
hunted in Novem, and the dog got so
many burrs on its tail that he called
the month November. Like all burrs,
this one stuck. Novembers place in
the calendar was changed when
Thanksgiving was invented. The Ro-
mans debated this in the Senate. Some
of the Senators thought November
should continue the ninth month in
the year Turkeys, they pointed out,
were large enough to eat, and there
was enough to be thankful for by that
time in the year to 90 right ahead
with the fireworks and the escoloped
oysters. Cicero had been very silent
all this time. When the Senators, who
wanted to observe Thanksgiving three
months before Christmas had said all
they had to say, he arose and disposed
of them forever by simply saying
But cranberries won't be ripe -
The hills are painted red and gold,
The frost is hoar and white,
The moon is sailing white and cold
Across the skies Of night;
The Fish and Hartman dispute
VIII become mortal strife;
Instead of proxy ballots,
They II demand each other life.
So each will take Of strychnine
A good and deadly lump,
And then they'll shake the dice to see
Which gets stomach pump.
The President has gone for game and
killed lady bear, the days are grow
ing short and soft, and hazy is the air;
the country editors who once had mon
ey in their tills, are selling all their
diamonds now to pay their paper bills
Sagittarius, the Archer, is the zodi-
acal sign for November. His name is
from the Latin sagitta, meaning arrow
and is typical of the sudden cold shoot
ing into the earth and causing the
turnip to run for the cellar like a
whitehead. From the first to the TWEEN
ty-second of the month the sun will be
in the constellation of Scorpio which
is Mr.. Bryan unlucky constellation,
and will make it difficult to tell wheth.
er he is coming or going. From the
22nd to the 30th, the sun will be in the
constellation of Sagittarius, in which
Mr.. Taft and the White House are at
aphelion, and he will look as if he
would finish about the fifth.
On the 14th the sun will rise with
the transit of Mercury on its disk. For
three hours and thirty six minutes the
| planet will describe a short chord on
| the northern limb of the sun, causing
money to run to its hole in Wall street,
and Standard Oil to tell everything.
Mercury, which will be an evening
star during the first two weeks of the
month, will tire of lovers and buggy
riders on the 14th, and will be morn
| ing star for the rest of the month 1t
will cast enough light on keyholes fo1
sports to find them without using fun.
nels, and will look with contempt into
the chambers of mollycoddles and
milksops.
The girl who sued summer man
Where cool sea hreezes course,
/ Will keep on suing--in the courts
And capture her divorce;
The watered railroads will contrive
To have few more wrecks,
And the press will print more lists Of
names
With broken backs and necks.
The loving maid will feed her beau
on good dyspepsia fudge the farmer
with the smokehouse will touch off hi,
hick ry smudge, the proclamation will
come out and the hired man will pu
the turkey head upon the block anC
amputate his foot
The flower for this month will be tn,
chrysanthemum, and the birthstone
will be the topaz.
A red or pink chrysantnemum is thu
symbol of love; white one signifies
truth and yellow one despair Whel
you wear a yellow one, it means tina
the gas bill has come in.
If YOU were born in November yol
will be thrifty, ambitious, strong ant
earnest. If born in the latter half O.
the month you will be brave, kind
honest, Just, generous, quick of TEN
per, and have keen sense of humor
This is great disappointment, bu
YOU can't have everything.
The lucky days of the month will b,
the fifth, eleventh, thirteenth, twenty
second and twenty fifth. Any of thes'
is good day upon which to begin ;
trial marriage. The unlucky days will
be the sixth, fifteenth, twentieth
twenty-ninth and thirtieth Cove
the chimney up on all of these days o.
the stork may bring you pair o
twins. The day to buy mining stool
will be the thirty first.
This will be very busy month TIL
trusts will try and arrange it so no
body can live, the moon will be full Of
the 10Th and the wolf will take up it
winter quarters on the front porch.
Hurrah, we'll all sit down to feast
Within three weeks or so,
The rich will have their turkey then,
However high they go
But most of us will sit around
And eat piece of crow.
And then December will arrive, wit
wintrv winds and raw, the papers Wi
be busy then retrying Harry Thaw
the boys will go to Sunday school a-hy
ing then, because it won't be very Ion
until they hear from Santa Claus.