davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-11-14
DRIFT. ". o OD BY PHIL n. ARMSTRONG.
There are s.ooe.oeo teleph one girls in the United States. and still the line is

There are s.ooo.ooo teieph one girls in generally busy.
 s Ss tss sssl the soss SsSa 'eseh Ss ubiauitous waiter:
 Drift Armstrong. in The Montgomery Advertisers Foolish Column. asks: fat prunes for breakfast" Drift, old boy. we have enumerated at least 1891 things vastly better but. "how can we Drunss S for breakfastr.IBaffaio sr News.
 Anyway. 1t win be a long time before the Florida Evergladessgo dry. accord ing to The Times Union.
 The canal kone is the market for l2,000 dozen eggs. so bad actors beware when making up your route list.
 Everybody is. kicking because .In God WeaTrust" has been left of of the new SIC gold piece. We don't know whether we shall accept those rendered us in that form or not--still any one desiring to make test case of 1t. can
 Minnesota has 2 population of ss to each square mile. Tn the State. A--hem --you can draw your. owa conclusions.
 
 The papers are making a great to do San Francisco is poet.
 s.oo0,o0o microbes in one dollar bili- sort so we ns nns 2rs getting suspicious of that not to wear hats. which, If acted upon, will make their husbands feel easier.
 The. Atlantic Monthly announces It's intention to answer the question: "Is magazine poetry real poetryT The girl who sees her reflection in bright pie pans. is more likely to win an appreciative husband than the one who looks at herself in the French
 The seven ages of woman are one courtship7age and six marry-ages.
 One trouble about baIloonins is that 1t is a continuous performance and no place to go to between the acts;--At-
 On yes; there's the earth,
 Money talks. but ft's troubled with shortness of breath quite frequently. ! Alas! and to think that the output sSs Si s'2igsIsi $ tes ssSas Ssa's is an 'v
 A coon hunter in Pennsylvania climbed tree the other night in pur- suit, as he supposed, of a coon. But came % doWs s auicRS. rs V With the sr Sesr af as ter him. Later he shot the bear In Alabama, it's quite common to mistake q bear for 8 coon or 'possum, owing to, their enormous size.
 IF
 M. S. Woodruff got out and did some work last week.-Newton (Md) Bee. +
 There is a chap down at Pyrites who passed up all hard work and touts himself as a poet. Some of his stuff has kaen sAnf ta Us by anthnsiastic
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-11-14

Tom Johnson has a right to swell out with pride after having defeated both Roosevelt and Burton in one round.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-11-14

Stuart's Gin and Buchu a quick cure for Bright's disease, liver and stomach troubles. All druggists S1.Qn
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-11-14
soIdier. of the Cixil wnr.

MT; K r. Vaiy .oI ohss naphaes h onariSs SemmSs uted the following interesting figures taken from The Baltimore Sun.
 Mir. Cassenove G. Lee. of Washington, a recognized authority on civil war statistics, has prepared an interesting table sho ting the enormous superior- ity of the Northern army oyer that df the South during the civil war. Mir Lees figures show that the total enlist ments In the Northern army were g. 77s.a04. as against e60.0o0 in the Con federate aEmY. The foreigners and ue. Groes In the Northern army aggregated 6S0.917. or S0.s17 more than she total strength of the Confederate army. There were 316.424 men of Southern birth in the Northern army. Mir. Lee | figures are as follows.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-11-14
M. S. Woodruff got out and did some work last week.-Newton (Md.) Bee.

There is a chap down at Pyrites who passed up all hard work and touts himself as poet. Some of his stuff has been sent to us by enthusiastic but misguided friends. We ain't much on poetry, having read, only the one of the Sweet Singer of Michigan, but as fin our bones that Louis GinsheSg, the piano virtuoso and all around howdy- do Of the Imperial Cafe, has got him down and out before blow Is struck. Denver Post.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-11-14

A coon hunter in Pennsylvania climbed a tree the other night in pur- suit, as he supposed, of a coon. But finding the animal to kke a beer, he ter him. Later he shot the bear. In Alabama, it's quite common to mistake a bear for coon or 'possum, owing to their enormous size.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-11-14

The girl who sees, her reflection in bright pie. pans. is more likely to win who looks at herself In the French plate mirror,
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-11-14

One trouble about baliooning Is that 1t is a continuous performance and no place to go to between the acts,--At- lanta Journal
 Oh, yes; there's the earth.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-11-14

A beauty specialist advises women will make their husbands feel easier.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-11-14

The seven ages of woman are one courtship;age and six narry-ages.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-11-14

! Alas! and to think that the output of, the vineyards of the world is an av- er4ge of s,s5f, f,4is.ooo galionsl
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-11-14

The Atlantic Monthly announces It's intention to answer the question: "Is magazine poetry real poetry?"
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-11-14

: A scientist declares that here are
 S.e00,0O0 microbes in one dollar bill- so we gre getting suspicious of that
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-11-14
H' yeS' tflHFe B Lhe eArtn'

Money talks, but it's troubled with shortness of breath quite frequently.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-11-14

Anyway. 1t win be long time before the Florida Everglades go dry. accord ing to The Times Union.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-11-14

A-thB-N
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-03-11
MONDAY; MARCH II, 1907.

The Portland oregonian regrets that the Fiiipinos must continue under un- fair treatment, as settled by the tabling of the riff-reducing amendment be- fore adjournment, and says that the numerical strength in the Senate of opposition to fair treatment for the Philippines indicates that smashing defeat at the polls is needed to bring about this much needed reform" The trouble Is that The Oregonian is fine tariff-reform paper until the Republi- can party gets into hot fight at cleo tion times, and then it's good intentions are cast to the winds. It is, like The Chicago Tribune, in favor of reducing tariff iniquities until the time when 1t can do some good, and then 1t turns it's batteries upon those through whom tariff reduction must come, If it ever does
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-03-11
HE SHOULD STOP IT.

It seems difficult for Gen. Fred Grant to get himself straight on the subject of that speech he made in Philadel- phia, in which he compared the pres ent administration with that of his fa- ther, very much to the discredit of the former. He has made various ex- plantations to reflect unfavorably on MT. Roosevelt and his administration. but it cannot be said that he has inn proved matters much.
 But we have no concern with Grant and his explanations. or with what the President and his friends may think of Grants remarks. Let them smite each other to their hearts content, and we see no reason to mediate between surprise us is that any intelligent American should now hold up the ad- ministration of U. s. Grant as some thing to be proud of and commended. Those eight years of Grant misrule comprised the most thoroughly dls- During those years reconstruction ran it's damnable course and left behind it the most infamous trail that has ever crossed the pages of American history They were years of military oppres- sion. of thorough disregard of the Com stitution and of civic debauchery and corruption. The record of those years makes unpleasant reading for lovers of good government, and if the whole foul history of the Grant administra- ton could be plotted out, 1t would be a blessing.
 No one should blame General Grant for standing up for the memory of his father, but if he wants to have the re- spect of the best American people, he should refrain from alluding to that fathers civil administration. for that is not far enough off for the people to have forgotten what transpired in those years. And among the many other reasons for not forgetting that period in our country's history it must be borne in mind that it was during of the Presidency was planned and carried through; a proceeding by which, under the forms of law, the ofioe Of Rresident was stolen from Til- den and given to Hayes. We are not charging that Grant himself was Q party to the disgraceful conspiracy. nor are we exhonerateing him. We are only showing that this monstrous wrong was merely logical result of the conditions existing during his ad- ministration. Looting. grating, politi- cal and official debauchery and corrup- tion ran riot in those days. and steal ing the Presidency was but part of the game The less General Fred has to say of his fathers administration. the better.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-03-11
DRIFT WOOD
A sonR of Outdoor Life.
BY PHIL H. ARMSTRONG.

song OK V0tUOOE LttGs Give me a sonz--a glad refrain-- A song of the forest or of the plain, A song of the land where Wild things Where the bird sings happily from Where the rabbit jumps OCT the fallen And the peckerwood goes thumpity Where the big trout down in the pool Flash in the sun as they turn and
 leap,
 Where the cat bird calls his rcunds- And he gets sassed back by the old Where the mighty oaks rise from the Pointing there solemn arms to God. Where a fellow can pull off his coat And just lie down and rest and rest, While the buzzards circle and wheel
 on high. Like black winged ships in the cobalt It's a song like this that I'd have you Of a blade of grass or a blue birds For my heart turns back to the primi-
 tive days Where history Is a misty haze. Where we used to run in the spring Wearing -weli--reaily--tust nothing at But sort of savage happy smile. Knowing we dressed in the latest Oh. give me those days long, long ago In a wild cool cave by the rivers flow the stars np fngfe hel6 csosa a nsnS snS W tight ~ Or bounding around in froIicsoms Hunting wild game by the light of
 
 Oh. forests and rivers and meadows Oh. bnrseOus blossoms beneath the Oh. bird songs pregnant with melody. Oh. squirrels and ehipmunks that v bound in glee: ,o,. .,, And I long to come when hear you Away with Eith your cities of greed and Give me a song of the outdoor life.
 The Easter Bonnet. O. the gorgeous Easter Bonnet With the flower garden on 1t
 Aint 1t gay2 But the gorgeous easter bill Will give her dad chill
 For he must pay
 As 1t Is These Days. "Is your new cook a good one?" Yes; she plays the piano very we'll"
 < & E
 Better.
 'Ts she trying to husband her earn ings?"
 "No: she's trying to earn her a hus- band"
 # E .
 Informed.
 Madam, where can I get Plutarch's Lives in this town?"
 From that man over thir. sor He said he wor going to have the life iV ivry stranger whut cum here"
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-03-11
CHEAP ALCOHOL AT LAST.

After considerable delay and much discussion, mislegislation and wrang- ling, Congress finally passed an amend ed "denatured alcohol" law. Under that law any farmer or other person can set up and operate his own still for the purpose of manufacturing de- natured alcohol without hindrance or superintendence on the part of the Government. All that he has to do is to provide a still-not costing, 1t is stated, more than $150-and limit his output to 100 gallons or less per day. The liquor as it goes through the pro- cess of distillation is carried fin tube to a locked steel tank of which a Gov ernmant agent carries tho key. The tank is then sent where the contents can be converted into denatured al- cohol for manufacturing and illumi- hating purposes.
 It is not at all strange that Senator AIdrich, of Rhode Island, was one of the bitterest and most persistent op- ponents the bill had to contend against We say 1t is not strange. because Ald-
 
 and attorney of the trusts some of which will suffer from free alcohol for all the people. He fought the bill in every way that he could devise. and resorted to all kinds of tactics, fair and unfair, to keep 1t from becoming a law, but he failed, as he should have done.
 ka. came part of the law as finally passed the most important, as The Newark Evening News puts it, "is that which enables the making of denatured al- cohol on small scale and by anybody with small capital, thus taking 1t out of the monopoly of the big whiskey producers. In the original bill the complication of a Government store keeper, whose presence was required everywhere that whiskey was distilled to denature it, introduced an element of enormous cost, practically paralyz- ing it's value for the small producer. Only great establishments could be ma nipulated in this way. That would have confined the process to these con- cerns and prevented the innumerable farmers from using private stills for utilizing the hundred sorts of mate rial, many of them otherwise waste. which is at their disposal It is such a practical value which makes a sim liar law so important to hundreds of thousands of producers in France and Germany, and keeps the product at a low cost, enabling 1t to be utilized for so many purposes, as an illuminant among the rest It is claimed that with a lamp specially made for 1t, de- natured alcohol provides a cheaper light and one quite as good as oil From this viewpoint the opposition of the Standard Oil is, of course, quite logical. The amended bill provides for a sealed receptacle into which the pro- duet as he makes it can be emptied by each individual producer awaiting the coming of the official to denature it. The plan is modeled after the German method. which has been found perfect ly practicable, and enables upward of a million of small producers to con- | tribute. and perhaps the larger volume to the public stock"
 l It Is possible, of course, that some
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-03-11
Taxing Cotton MiIls.

Russell Register.
 The Register desires to say that 1t agrees with The Montgomery Adver- tiser in h.. the position it takes against State from taxation for a period of years. Why should a cotton mill be exempt from paying the State and any more than any other business in stitution in. the State2 Certainly 1t cant be seriously urged that to relieve and factories to be built in the State. And that they will not be built unless they are exempt Such contention ness man in this country or anywhere else who would allow the State and county tax imposed in Alabama upon building a cotton mill in this State If he decided that he wanted to invest his money in such an enterprise.
 sort of enterprise is going to invest m it where he fells that he will receive the greatest returns therefrom. That goes without saying; It Is a piain business controvert 1t. The man who wants to invest money in a cotton mill in Ala bama will do so tax or no no tax: tax We the State and counties in Alabama re- quire a tax has never as yet prevented any sort of enterprise from being es- tablished in this State. If such enter prises did not come 1t was due to some other cause or causes and not to the fact that a tax Is required on them. If cotton mills are to. be exempt. from taxation why not lumber mills, ginner- ies, corn mills and other enterprises? :? Why should cotton mill be given the preference in this matter?
 It is true that cotton mills increase the demand for raw cotton, and that they increase the business of town. They do the State good in that they cause developments that would not otherwise come perhaps, but that is no excuse for exempting them from taxa tion It should be remembered that they receive the same protection from the laws of the State that other insti- tutions receive and they should pay their pro rata of tribute to the govern ment which gives them this protection. Suppose some poor newspaper man wanted to establish newspaper and should ask that his plant be exempt from taxation for a period of years. People would say that he was fool, But there would be just as much req son in such exemption as there would he for a cotton mill exemption. The principle Is the same.
 We are in favor of all property, bear ing an equal share of the burden of taxation. This Is Democratic and 1t Is have any other effect Is unsound and undemocratic and should not be con- sidered.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-03-11
SideUaK Penciiings
Comfort. at Pickett snr,nr..

OVNAUstM At EaCkEtt SREtnBn.
 Would It do any good to call the attention of the Traction Company,s of- ncials to the fact that no preparations nave been made at Pickett Springs for the comfort of the public. who visit man over the. phone last night.
 Tt night" hazarded the reporter.
 "d course I know that the park a. opened, but the officials must know that hundred and hundreds of people every day are taking advantage. of thls beautiful weather to visit Pickett Springs: No facilities have been pro- Yided for .ae, accommodation of the visitors. No drinking water has been provided and the facilities which at the resort ne9Sg go popular aTe asI missing % T1e ladies and children who have gone out during the week have suffered some what for, lack of the usual comforts panv officials will remedy the omission as soon as their attention is drawn to was among the prominent visitors to the city yesterday.
 Mir. Walter H. Wild. leading mer- chant or evergreen, spent yesteroay m
 oHss x <
 Mir. B. E. Bediow. of Mobile. is at 'n' S"
 prominent citizens of Selma. are stop ping at the New Exchange Hotel. MaISspee two o .Gs srss Ssst snSv1 snS J. o gems of East Alabama. are in the city.
 MT. D: J. Perry of Tuscaloosa( spent yesterday in Montgomery.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-03-11
Can Tell Them By Their Clothes
Went Beyond Promises.

some in its commendations of Mir Co., mer and friends in carrying out every promise to the people, The trouble with Conner and his friends Is, they ised MT. Conner didn't promise the people he would "sit down on editors to gratify personal spleen; he didn't to exempt his own principal investment from taxation; he didn't promise the people he would give the bulk of the public school fund to the colleges in the cities and leave the children 'in the stick" a scant supply to grow up in ignorance; nor dld he promise the neople that he would bridle both braHches of the Legislature and be the Czar of Alabama. Yes, he has carried out the platform, and Is now tearing down the pillars and toting them out
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-03-11
A CORRECTION.

Owing to an error in section II of Senate Bill A, published on Page 10 of this edition of The Advertiser, the com DIetion is reproduced here as fOlIONss
 "SectiOn II. The provisions of this net shall apply to the transportation of messengers and property between points within this state, and to the re- ceivIng, switching, delivering ,stOring and hauling of such property and to all charEes connected herewith, and shall apply to all railroad corporations, express companies, car companies, sleeping cnr companies, freight and freight lime companies, and to all RssO- citations of persons, whether lncOrpOr- ated or otherwise, that shall do buSi- ness as common carriers upon or over any line of railroad, in whole or In part, within this stnte, or partly by rail, and partly by wateFJ but nothing In this act shall be construed as a regulation of or interference with In- terstate eOmmeree."
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-03-11

defects or flaws may be found in the act which win prevent 1t from becom- ing operative. just as was the case with the original bill enacted last year. and some further legislation may be re- quired, but it Is hoped not If the law Is all correct it will be of almost incal- culable benefit to the people at large by providing them with a cheaper and more easily handled heating and illu- minating fluid than any that Is now procurable. If the intention of the law can be carried out without delay or hindrance, all who use any, kind of burning fluid for any purpose, and all who can use 1t in the arts and for sci- entifc and manufacturing purposes will soon be independent of Standard oil or any other monopoly. The necessary legislation has been a considerable while coming. and 1t is to be hoped that there will be no further delay experienced in connection with it's op- eration.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-03-11

The Charlotte Observer has como to believe, after deliberation. that "the man in the tree" in the immigration bill, is. and will be always. the ''en- vious cotton milling State of Massa- chusetts," which has favored us with many similar evidences of good will in the past. But is it not commentary upon we won't say just what when the South Is kept uneasy lest any bill which goes through Congress may prove to contain. disguised in its phraseology. some stab at this section of our common country?"
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-03-11

In his authorized interview pub lished in Birmingham and Montgomery papers last Saturday, Governor Conner, among other things. said:
 Practically every party pledge has been redeemed the platform of the people has been enacted into law, and the future of our State Democracy will have this great precedent-that party pledges mean more than mere schemes 10 get into office.
 Does he really believe that the ri- diculous proposition of making the State Inspector of County Jails and AImshouses. also an inspector for cot ton mills, complies with the platform demand for a child labor law?
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-03-11
Knew How It Was.

MT. Wright took me for such a nice walk yesterday evening" said a young lady to a dear friend" T enjoyed it so much "Yes, understand" re- marked the other. You went through shortacre woods and back through spinney lane" we did. but how do you know that?' And when you rest ed at the stile MT. Wright kissed you?" continued the second girl. 'Oh that's too bad of you! You must have been watching us" No. The fact is that I've been for walk with MT Wright myself. and so has my sisterF
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-03-11

Referring to the reported remark of. President Roosevelt that he wants Taft to succeed him as President, The New Orleans Item comments that If the re- port is correct, 1t indicates a distinct lack of the higher kind of statesman like ethics on the part of Mir. Roose- welt, since 1t really amounts to a sig nal given all the numerous Government employees appointed by the President. who constitute a large portion of the controlling party's political machine. to go to work for the person so desig- mated at the behest of him to whom they owe their positions" Certainly, The Item should know by this time that Roosevelt rarely stops to consider the effect that any utterance of his may have Either that, or else he doesn't care.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-03-11
A unwI Ernecten.

Greene County Democrat.
 The House passed the Tax Commis- mission shall consist of three members who shall annually visit every county in the state and equalize the taxes Great things are expected of this Com mission and we have no doubt that values will be raised till the eyes of many a tax payer will stick out like pot legs, Incidentally we expect to hear a. great howl
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-03-11

The New York Mall can't understand why the ship subsidy steal should not have passed It is apparently unable to see why a Republican in Congress should fail or refuse to support an ad- ministration measure. forgetting, 1t seems, that there are honest Republi- cans in Congress
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-03-11

As there are several ways of pro- nouncing Alabama, the following sug- gestions of The Mobile Register are we'll worthy of the consideration of the Legislature upon reassembling in July:
 Apropos of the legislative definition of the pronunciation of the name Mis- sourl, is the reader aware that there is no legal certainty as to how Ala bama" should be pronounced? The bah-ma,' with the emphasis on the second syllable and the final "a" short, but there are Alabamians who pronouce 1t "Alla- banner" and yet others who make it .Arlarbarma." The State Legislature might do a good half hours work by putting the pronunciation in the .record.