The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-02
THE HOTEL CLERK
 ON THANKSGIVING
BY IRWIN s. COBB.

AtSluSHl Ouly dDOul SIX luOHIlS alter everybody else found it out. Suppose he'd waited until the Convention met? The surviving financiers of Wall Street if there are any surviving financiers of Wall Street-will give thanks that only one wave Of re-renewed confi- denee swept over the financial district last month. Because if thered been two waves you'd now be hearing of . 'em renting out all the bank buildings | below Fourteenth Street for quick lunch emporiums and unledtakers par i lors.
 Many eminent financiars who've been able to combine business with religion in such way as not to seri- ously interfere with the business will give thanks that they ain't either. i Ladies without any hips to speak of will give thanks that they have the proper figure for the new fashion, and ladies with plenty of hips will give thanks that there are other styles on the way, hip-hip That's a joke of my own, Larry; thank you for laughing.
 "The man of family who's just got through paying the bills for last Christ mas, as indeed many of the more fru- gal ones have, will give thanks that it's still nearly a. month till next Christmas. MT. Bryan will give thanks that the Republicans haven't taken any of his new doctrines away from him in the last few months, mainly because he didn't have any new ones to take, and the Republicans will give thanks that MT. Bryan's got one doc 1 Urine that he can't induce 'em to take. l refer to the immortal doctrine of government ownership of railroads, which, as you may recall, was born one night last year at Madison Square Garden with great eclat and the next morning couldn't find anybody to nurse it.
 The New York man will give thanks that he don't live in Kansas City. Mo, and the man in Kansas City. Mo-. will give thanks that he don't live in Kan sas City. Kan. Up on Fifth Avenue Mrs. Astorbilks the society leader up there. will give thanks because she's got a diamond stomacher that she can't see over without standing on tip-toe; and out in Indiana Mrs. !. Henry Rockers, the society leader out 1 there, will give thanks because she was the first person that carried a Teddy bear in the Wabash Valley"
 Coin back home fur your Thanks givin' dinner?" asked the House De- tective.
 "No, l reckon not" said the Hotel Clerk. I'm one of several hundred thousand parties in this town that are always going to go home for Thanks giving or Christmas, but never do it on account of not being able to get
 
 ing a transfer.
 Say, they used to throw a lot of poetry into the old-fashoned Thanks giving dinner, didn't they? guess they do yet, for that matter. They fed the turkey blamed sight more care fully than they did the baby, and do you remember how for about three days beforehand the kitchen gave off those bully smells that made kid water at the mouth until he felt like set of riparian rights2"
 There was little pause as the two ! men stood together inside the gold | mounted clerks alcove in the gor- geous lobby of the Hotel St Reckless. "Where1l you be eatin' your Thanks.
 gfvin' ?' said the House Detective. i ''Mebbe l might go with you.''
 Over on Broadway" said the Hotel Clerk. It'll be glorious Thanksgiv- ing Day feast. Larry. We'll have few slabs hewed off of one of those lovely cold storage birds that MT. Ar mour has been saving up for several years and some homemade plum pud- ding right out of the original can with White library paste called sauce poured over it and cranberry dressing fresh from the glucose works and one of those tasty pies that they turn off on a printing press at the factory on Firs Avenue. And then we'll scratch n match and light our cigars. if they're the kind you can light with match and we'll lean back in our chairs and give thanks
 Give thanks for wot?" asked the House Detective, hoarsely.
 Thanks for having lived through it, said the Hotel Clerk.