davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Los Angeles herald., 1907-12-16

The Salt Lake Herald remarks in its
most dignified tone: Luther Burbank
achieved great feat when he grew q
spineless cactus. but he will not really
round out his career until he succeeds
in putting the spines he takes out of
the cacti into some of our politicians -
Very true, very true. We would like
the honor of naming the politicians
aforesaid, likewise the honor and the
pleasure of designating those portions
of the anatomies of the several poll
ticians into which said spines, accord
ing to the judgment of our Utah con-
temporary, ought to be stuck.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-12-16

that 1t had daily extended special priv.
ileges to favored shippers to whom It paid
rebates and in behalf of whom it dis
criminated against their competitors.
The attorney general, who was then
very much in the dark" has remained
Immersed in profound official gloom in
comparison with which midnight were a
brilliant illumination. The people of the
state have waited patiently for him "to
find out just where we stand" Present
appearances indicate that he doesn't
stand" at all. 1t looks as If he had COM
pletely ''laid down."-Los Angeles Ex-
rreSS.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-12-16

long hours and late work, particularly
for young women, girls and children.
On the other hand, merely through
thoughtlessness, many shoppers defer
their purchases until the last possible
moment at the cost of unnecessary
strain upon salespeople and delivery
forces"
You who have the milk of human
Kindness In your hearts, if you have
not bought your last dollars worth of
Christmas presents go out today and
finish up the task. If you will try to
put yourself, for the nonce, in the
place of the salesman. you will be
downtown early this morning. Try to
follow the Golden Rule. this holiday
season if you never have before.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-12-16

That musical hum you hear is not an
automobile getting ready to squirt
through the streets. 1t is the Christ
mas shoppers as they harmoniously
elbow one another They are just be-
ginning to realize the value of the
shop early" injunction.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-12-16

A magazine writer has made the
alarming discovery that Wall street
is a necessity. Next thing we know
somebody will discover that the world
will die of dry rot without the saloon
and the roulette wheel.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-12-16

There is no doubt whatever that
Senator Aldrich possesses that expert
knowledge" about which we hear so
much nowadays. The only thing we
fear is that he may use it.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-12-16

A Justice Of the supreme court of
New York has decided that the police
have no right to photograph a man
arrested but not convicted of crime.
Good judge. This is not Russia, by
several centuries.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-12-16

After the spineless cactus dinner
should come, logically, the needless
appendix.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-12-16
FUNNYGRAPHS
Twin Souls

HE and his wife come nearer being one than
any couple 1 know Of"
when he catches cold she sneezes ~
mo; but when she bought an expensive set
of furs yesterday It made him hot."--Houston
Post,
Los Angeles herald., 1907-12-16
His Joke

Lower berth? Yes sir. Two dollars, sir.
THAT reminds of how few children arr
born In New Yorl5s smart set."
"How's that. sir?'
'It's low birth rate" Houston Post
Los Angeles herald., 1907-12-16

spires no terror in the heart of the
early Christmas shopper.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-12-16

Don't kick. You are just as well off
where you are as where you are not.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-12-16
Probably Not

Have yor seen Mrs. chauffeur's new auto
mobile tonneau7"
mo; did she wear it at the ball last night 2
Houston Post.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-12-16
Handicapped

'Hes a genius. IL he not?"
''It is hard TO tell: his wife is so athletic
that he is afraid to display the artistic tenn
permanent about home, even II he has It.. -
Houston Post.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-12-16
Ao'in the Government

Church-I see they have a cigar now they
call "The Teddy"
Gctham-Yes know a Wall street man
who smoked one and he said It made him posi-
tIvely sick.-Yonkers Statesman.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-12-16
A Devoted Life

Mrs. Dearborn--I understand her whole life
has been devoted to helping mankind
Mrs. Misunderstanding of the kind! Her
whole life has been devoted to matrimony-
Yonkers Statesman.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-12-16
Careless Man

church-I hear he is going to put some baths
in his factory.
Gctham-No; that's mistake. He doesn't
cure whether his hands are clean or not
Yonkers Statesman.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-12-16
Pedalina

Patience-Had any experience which would
teach you to play on one Of these mechanical
piano-players?
Patrice-Oh, yes; used to ride bicycle,
you knowl-Yonkers Statesman.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-12-16
THE SON oE HIS FATHER

And speaking of December weather
Los Angeles herald., 1907-12-16
Wanted to Know

my wife said the other night that il
kissed her again after I had been smoking
she'd never speak to me again"
"Geel What brand of cigars were you smok
ing?"-Houston Post.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-05-02

enveloped in the old disgrace and
broken by the old shame. his story came
out and started a wave of sympathy
for him that has reached the White
House In the form OF petition for
his pardon, signed by $500 bankers,
business men and representative citi-
zens of Missouri, Kansas and Okla
homa The Missouri legislature passed
a resolution of appeal Tor his pardon
and II was presented to the president
by United States senator No pro-
test has been made against the petit
ton. Even the sneak who betrayed
him has vanished with his miserable
SEQ reward money and left no sign.
The pardon will undoubtedly be
granted, as it should be- The unani-
nous appeal for 1t is evidence that
the American people still believe that
years Of hardworking, honest, upright
living can atone for the sins of youth.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-05-02
Personal NOTES.

All the John Smiths in America are ex-
peoted to rendezvous at jamestown on
Pocahontas day. incidentally paying their
own expenses,
The Japanese premier. Prince Kung, tried
to compliment General Grant when he
was in Japan in English by assuring him
that he was born to command. His words
were. however, sire, brave general. you
were made to orderr
Frank steinhart who recently resigned
as American consul general to Cuba, has
been in the service Of the Army and State
departments for twenty-five years He
speaks four languages and has been nick
named THE consul OF all nations because
of his ability to help the people OF other
natioualites besides his own.
Prof. Frank n. Meyer, explorer for the
United States Agricultural Department
has Just completed a remarkable tour of
China, Corea and Siberia in search OF
plants, flowers and cereals. Probably no
explorer in the service of the department
has had so many interesting and unusual
experiences during the last year as have
fallen to the lot Of Prof. Meyer.
A newly elected senator from the north
west was pounding his desk and waving
his arms in an impassioned appeal to the
senate What do you think OF him p
whispered Senator Kean Of New Jersey 20
the impassive Senator Knox OF Pennsyl-
vania "Oh. he can't help It," answered
Knox. It's a birthmark" a what?''
"A birthmark" repeated Knox His
mother was scared by a windmill
General Luis Terrazas whose wealth is
estimated in the hundreds OF millions,
lately celebrated the seventy-hfth anniver-
sary OF his birth at his home in Chihua-
hua, Mexico. Terrazas is said 70 be the
largest Individual land owner In the world,
his estates in western Mexico covering IS
10000 acres. He owns several hundred
| thousand head OF cattle, horses. sheep and
goats Some OF the richest mines in Mexico
belong to him.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-05-02
BLLBoARDS.

1t is really pathetic-to see with what
tender solieitude our mayor and city
council take up the question OF bill
boards and street signs, that disfigure
our thoroughfares and spread hide
BUSINESS over the natural beauty Of the
city, One would suppose that an in
alienable right to plaster fences and
buildings with haring signs at so much
a square foot were part of the Declare
ton of Independence and engrafted in
our state constitution. That the au-
thorities are not so tolerant OF this
evil in other cities may be gathered
from the following survey of the war
on the billboard, taken from the cur
rent number of Collier's:
Pain to the eye Of mankind seems at last
about TO produce a long-delayed rebellion.
After a bitter fight tax of cent per
square foot per year has been placed upon
billboards in Los Angeles, returning some
S52,000 a year to that city, which has
twenty-five miles Of billboards. New York
City, through it's assistant corporation coun-
sell is waging a war on illegal billboards.
Five suits have already been entered
against the o. j. GUIDE company. The
Chamber OF Commerce of the city OF Pitts
burg is undertaking the restriction Of bill
boards in that city and similar action Is
being taken in Cincinnati. Boston is in the
throes OF a protest against beer sign on
the Hotel Pelham, fronting the Boston
Common, for which the erecting concern
pays the owner Of the premises 5000 per
year, notwithstanding which the said
owner has succeeded in having the assess
mont on his building for tax purposes re-
duced 81, 300 within the year. The situation
| in Boston is made rather amusing by the
fact that Donnelley, the boss billboarder.
has been disciplined by the National Bill
posters association for erecting this sign
| against the desires of the National associa-
ton. The legislatures of the states OF
Pennsylvania, New Jersey. New York and
Massachusetts have each billboard re-
strictinR and taxing acts before them now,
with the billboard men fighting any taxa
ton, regulation or supervision.
Omaha ought to get in with the van
guard in this movement instead of lag
ging behind the rear. Every time a
billboard or street sign ordinance is
proposed here. however, the pressure
of interested parties quickly gets in
its work The people may, however,
still live in hopes.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-05-02
PROnnINn TIE srnRK

Evidently the stork has had an idea
that 1t could loaf on its job with inn
punity while President Roosevelt's at
tention has been taken up with rail-
road rates, jamestown expositions, let
tiers to Bethany" and Maria" peace
negotiations with Nicaragua and Hon
duras, interchange of courtesies with
Perry" Belmont and Jim" Wads-
worth and little matters of that kind
pressing for consideration at the
White House since the close of con-
gress. But the stork was mistaken.
Tho president is its ever ready and en-
thusiastic champion and clearly ex-
poets it to do it's duty, regardless of
eight-hOur laws or union rules.
The publication of magazine ar
ticle in which the writer contended
that it is an erroneous idea to assume
that the average family should have q
larger number of healthy children
than the present birth rate shows, has
aroused the president to a reiteration
of his expressions on the subject of
race suicide and has given him oppor-
tunity to emphasize his views on that
subject and renew his pledge of de-
voted support of the stork. The pres
ident cites the vital statistics to show
that in Massachusetts, the average fam
fly of native descent has so few chill
dren that the birth rate has fallen be-
low the death rate. 1t needs no math-
ematical expert to prove that this
means race suicide and the final elimi-
nation of the native Of Massachusetts,.
The president makes it plain that this
would not do. He says:
Our people could still exist under all
kinds OF iniquities in government; under
debased currency, under official corruption
under the rule of a socialistic proletsriat
or a wealthy oligarchy. All these things
would be bad for us, but the country would
still exist. But it could not continue to
exist II it paid heed TO the expressed or i'm
piled teachings of such articles as this.
Clearly the stork's duty is to get
busy with its defense. 1t may be able
to do this by citing statistics from
other states and sections, showing
overcrowded kindergartens, record
breaking attendance at Sunday school
picnics, the enlargement Of the circus
seats for "half-price" tickets, the in
creasing and insistent demands for
more parks and Fairgrounds for the
little folks and multifold other evil
dences and signs that there is no
tendency to the elimination rather
than the survival of the flttest" such
as the president fears. We are conf
dent Of the stork's ability to make a
showing along these lines that will al
lay the presidents fears, but, of
course, It is still up to the bird to ex-
plain why it has Disseminated against
Massachusetts,. Perhaps 1t should not
be blamed for doing most of it's work
in the more favored fields, but unless
it can show that it's Massachusetts,
basket has been lost or laid up for re-
pairs the stork will be compelled to
rest under charge of Sinking its
duty so far as part of its route is con-
cerned,
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-05-02
REAL HOME RULE.
New YOrk's Governor strongly Up
holds the Policy.


Chicago Record-Herald.
The New York executive is proving him
self to be one of the most enlightened and
coura geous friends OF real home rule that
state has ever had He has surprised and
gratified the thoughtful citizens by a series
Of little vetoes that are remarkable in their
way.
He has killed bills raising salaries OF
stenographers and assistant secretaries of
the Brooklyn under-sherif1, increasing the
pay of cooks and laundresses in local Of
fces, regulating the management OF
county jail and so on.
TT is absurd" he said in one Of his
brief veto messages, that the legislature
should be called upon TO deal with mat
ters Of this sort" The things covered by
these petty local measures should be left
entirely to the local authorities. To the
argument that existing charters and the
existing relations between the legislature
and local administration unfortunately
make II not only possible but actually nee
esssary in many cases to bother the legis-
lature with questions of small offices, in
creases OF pay, repair and management OF
county buildings and so on. Governor
Hughes replies that the proper thing to
do is to secure an amendment Of the un-
duly restricted municipal charters or pass
a general act extending home rule to coven
all such cases
The position is manifestly sound and
wholly consistent, OF course, with the de-
mand for increased power in the execu-
tive where the Increase is necessary. to
efficient control and successful adrninistra-
ton
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-05-02

HOROSCOPE or THE INDUSTRIAL SKIES.
Labor and capital in America APP
pear to have agreed upon universal
disarmament, even II the nations are
still unable to frame a plan along that
line that promises general adoption.
May day, which for many years has
been marked by labor disturbances and
industry-hampering differences be
tween employers and employed, has
come and gone with. hardly a cloud in
the industrial sky. Reports from
Chicago and New York. those storm
centers of labor troubles, show that
amicable relations exist between the
workmen and the employers in every
important line OF industry and that
agreements as to wages, hours and
other usually disputed points have
been made by which the activity Of the
coming season will not be marred by
strikes, lockouts or other manifesto
tions Of differences between capital
and labor. Similar reports come from
all parts of the country and, with
minor exceptions, the workmen in the
factories, mines, mills, building trades
and transportation Industries are con-
tent with existing agreements.
Credit for this improved condition
must be shared about equally by the
laborers and the representatives Of
capital. Labor organizations have
done much in the last few years to ad-
vance the cause OF arbitration, concil-
iation and adjustment of differences
between themselves and their en-
ployers and have been active in repu-
dating the leaders who thrive only on
strikes. BY purifying their organiza-
ions by the rejection of advocates of
violence they have secured the conf
dence and support of the public and
have destroyed much of the distrust
formerly shown them by representa-
tives of capital. Employing corpora
tons, on the other hand, have recog-
uAAOu inc Ju5bhONo VI many AUbOA w
mands and mutual concessions have
made easier the adjustment Of differ
ences by negotiation instead Of by
strikes or lockouts.
AS a result Of this spirit of mutual
concession harmony and good feeling
exist to greater degree between en-
ployers and employed throughout the
country and both are strengthened to
meet future emergencies in the spirit
OF mutual interest. Continued peace
full relations between these too otter
conflicting interests will furnish a guar
antee of uninterrupted wage-earning
a steady flow of dividends and profits
healthy commercial and industrial con
ditions and extension of the era Of
prosperity already at high water mark
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-05-02
pARpoN ZOE 4 JEAN YALJEAN.

FAhDON run n EAN AA|dbHN'
President Roosevelt has recon-
mended a pardon, or at least a com
mutation of sentence, for William
January, alias Charles Anderson OF
Missouri, whose trials and experiences
with the law and its vengeance show
him TO be an up-to-date twentieth cen
ture Jean Vatican. When about 21
years OF age January robbed a post
once at Saltwater, OH. Evidence
showed at the time that he was in a
desperate condition, without work and
almost starving. He was sentenced
10 twelve years in a federal prison and
was a model prisoner for five years.
Then came a chance of escape and he
embraced II. Assuming the name of
Charles Anderson, January went to
Kansas City, found work, prospered,
married. built himself a home and was
becoming well-to-do when an old cell
mate discovered his identity and be-
trayed him 20 the authorities for the
$50 reward that had been offered at
the time of his escape.
When January was returned to the
federal prison at Fort Leavenworth,
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-05-02
Grateful Appreciation.
Chicago Chronicle,

Judging by President Roosevelt's charac-
ter and all he has ever said and done since
he has been president, the unanimous re-
quest OF the people that he be a candidate
for third term will not alter his purpose
to retire, partly because he has other
reasons than the third-term tradition. The
third-term movement, however is probably
grateful 10 him because 1t will put It in his
power TO name his successor. If he will not
serve 1t would be a strange admirer who
would not favor a man whom he has Sc
lected 70 continue his policies
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-05-02
AERIORHTY.
ST. IACc,

st. 20 Globe-Democrat
The plackDlTa bps in the sycamore tSna
ana ,prasS 'he P's happy and fine aNA
He seems to thNoe's t,sttsv,, .soe.- .f..
Huhl He $500 " ~
Better'n mel
Why, you oil foN I'd. TIM n human 60
why, I'm a mani u voodras. l,,o,,,-
Jou re notnln ,dHAd as one o. those,
When II SHOWS, az Wv 'S'
Rains, blows,
you AIM 80 pear "a. suppose.
Blackbird teeters on,
Can't say nothin' to Dr. Ntrn
Sings and teeters with
Then BIN!
See him!
on to the far horizon's(
That's the way he anej ma,
Shown he's happy and ana froe
Goes wherever he pleasea1,e?
Say, he
Must be
Somewhat better off'n f1e
He never works and he Il, m ,ort
An he has no money onkrnIs+ he snanS
An II he sins. he doe vi raDent 'f~
Nor keer a cent!
He's a gentl
He's always done as MS pr meant!
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-05-02

It is now proposed TO license street
fakirs to do business in Omaha at 50
per day. The street fakirs, as a rule,
operate nothing but bunco games on a
small scale and it would be much more
to our advantage from every point of
view to put the license fee up to 800
a day and make it prohibitive.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-05-02
Doing Business in the Open.

Chairman Ingalls, Of the board Of direc-
tors OF the Big Four system plainly told
railroad officials gathered at a banquet in
Pittsburg that the only way in which the
railroad interests could win back popular
confidence and allay hostile sentiment was
by obeying the laws and doing business in
the open. This is a vast change brought
about by the power of public opinion since
the days when one famous railroad cap
italist contemptuously consigned the public
to a fate not to be mentioned in polite So
ciety
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-05-02

The Ohio delegation at the opening
OF the jamestown exposition declared
they could find nothing to eat. That's
the first recorded instance Of an
ohioans failure even to locate the
pie counter.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-05-02
ACCEPTING THE TwO-CENT FARE,
Eastern Lines Refuse to Follow West
ern Examples.


Philadelphia Press.
Railroads in western states, from Michi-
gan across to Nebraska, seven in all, have
accepted without resistance 2 cents mile
as the new passenger rate. These roads
are not going into the courts. They are
not asserting charter or other rights,
the case may be. They stand ready to
obey the law and let the public find out by
experience II the law is wrong.
II these states in the west can afford to
accept 2-cent passenger act, why should
any states in the east resist? Traffic is
larger here, expenses are lower, and the
change from the old rate to the new one
is less.
Why should not eastern lines, including
those in this state, do as western lines
have, accept the law and obey it? Who
has more to lose by creating the impression
that q law is made to be resisted and is
to be obeyed only upon compulsion than the
great railroad corporations"
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-05-02

Members of the State Board of AS
sessment figure on finishing up the
work of fixing the tax values for rail-
road property in Nebraska in COM
paratively short time by cutting of
the hearings and re-hearings of the
railroad tax agents. This savors OF
cruel and unusual punishment for the
aforesaid railroad tax agents, who,
having nothing to show for their work
on the late Legislature, must be primed
to extraordinary exertion before the
state assessment board to make them
selves solid with their employers. The
tax bureau, which used to be the most
important division of railroad man
agement in Nebraska, is in grave dana
ger of being overshadowed by lesser
lights like the general manager. the
head of the law department or the su-
perintendent of motive power.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-05-02

An Iowa man who emptied a shot
gun into a charivar party wounded
only three persons. While his marks
manship was a little faulty. his inten-
ton 70 declare a closed season for the
wedding hoodlum will be applauded.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-05-02

In China an amanuensis who be-
trays his employers secrets gets his
head chopped OF. In this country he
gets his name in the papers and is ar
rested by Mr.. Hartman.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-05-02
Tribute TO IA Brave Soldier.
Rrooklyn Eagle

General Vara del Rey who defended Ell
Caney against the American attack in 1898,
is to have a monument erected by Span
iards with the consent OF Governor Ma
COON. He was splendid soldier and the
tribute to his memory will be welcomed
by his former enemies as well as by his
friends
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-05-02

That mysterious midnight meet
ing" which Edgar Howard refers to
and characterizes as "a piece of smart
political work" is declared by the Lin d.
coin Journal to be IAN easy thing for
any political strategist," all Of which
will have to be classified under the
heading Important. II true"
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-05-02

An elephant shaving itself is one of
the numbers on the program of a "sa-
cred concert" permitted in New York
theaters on Sunday night. The own
ers probably stand ready to prove that
IL is a sacred elephant
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-05-02

State Treasurer Brian has just had
a record-breaking month in the way
of receipts Of revenues into his strong
box. Collections for the state treas
ury indicate that prosperous condi-
lions are uniform throughout Ne
braska