davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-09-22

der and blinding the eyes with lightning. The three "tardes" lived long way from the school-house and when at last they succeeded in reaching home they We're all but drenched to death And when their parents (who had heard of their chlldrens ugly conduct, and that they were being kept after school hours) saw their sorry plight they had no words of sympathy for them
 "1f you loiter on the way to school" said one stern father to one of the tar d1es, you must suffer the consequences. And let this experience be a warning to you. Your industrious and earnest com rades have been home for nearly an hour having frolic and fun after their hard days study. But, you, through your own disobedience and laziness, have not only missed the evenings play, but have suf- fered drenching besides"
 And the three ''tardies" crept into their homes ashamed and miserable. and the next day they formed a compact with each other to never, no never, play truant again.
 But what became of those very naughty squirrels that had hidden themselves in the crevices of the boulders? Why, stroke of lightning split the wall of boulders to splnters, and when, after the storm. the parents came forth to search for their unruly sons they found their lIfeless bodies lying strewn abou: the wrecked school-house floor Their disobedlence and truancy had cost them their lives.
 Had they obeyed their good parents and gone to school that morning, and had they learned tnelr lesson well and been excused at three o'clock to go to their respective homes, they would now be living the lives of the good and the in- dustrious, happy citizens of SquIrrelville, in the heart of the beautiful deep wood.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-09-22
Captain Billy.

girl. I have little son and little daughter. This naughty puppy is the property of my son."
 We'll man. went on Stella Anne, suppose some huge animal should catch your little daughter In Its mouth and hurt her as that ugly, ferocous dog has hurt my Ethel Grace. Would you think 1t all right if the owner of the animal should offer to get yod another daughter just like the one that was torn to pieces?"
 Then. at thought of her loss and poor Ethel Grace's hurts, Stella Anne shed more tears, and the lady put her arms about the little mama and begged her forgiveness if she had wounded her heart. Then, after giving the puppy dog a pret- ty sound whipping with a strap she car ried, and sending him home yelping, the lady again addressed Stella Anne. "Now.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-09-22
A Sketch of the Boyhood of Captain Cook,
 Great English Navigator.

father had procured the position of hind to Mir. Skottowe, lord of the Ayton manor. But his biographers Inform us that Mir. Skottowe took an interest In the child (who must have shown more than usual talenD and placed him as pupil in the village day-school, himself defraying the small expense thus h. cured.
 At the town of Great Ayton there Is still standing the little four-room stone cottage occupied by the Cook family, and 1t was doubtless built by the elder Cook. for he became stone mason while living at Ayton. Over the lintel, cut in stone, are the initials J. G. c. and the year, 1755. From that date we conclude that the Cooks did not have this dwelling till many years after their son James had flown from the home nest. and had become noted in the kings service.
 When James was Ia years old he was npprenticed to a shopkeeper of Staithes, or The Staithes as 1t was generally called It WAS seafaring town and filled with sailors and 1sher-folk.
 It was here that the "call of the sea" came to the ears of the apprentice boy and one morning before the earliest riser of the village was nstir he took his few belongings. tied up In n handkerchief, and stole softly from the shop of hls master. Having been 'articled" to the shopkeeper foc given number of years James could procure his liberty In no other way, and was forced to run away.
 He made his way. doubtless on foot, to Whitby. some nine miles distant from Great Ayton. Here he took up the life of Il sailor and soon found adventure enough Through great energy and apt ness he worked his way up to the posi- tion of mate, and later became a lieu tenant in the Royal Navy. Then be- came a captain and won lasting honors.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-09-22
IRISH WIT,

Paddy on learning that his married sis- ter had given birth to child hastened to pay his respects to her and make h. quiry as to the sex of the child. Meeting the nurse at the door of his sisters home' Paddy smilingly said: "Please, ma'am. carry me congratulations to me sister an ask whither I'm an uncle or aunt
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-09-22

Then after I've busted You 10 smither-eens I'll Just break and run, I'll just break and run And the boy did the Job That he said he would do: But alas, and alack! Alas and alnckl He was n strange sight When at last he reached home, He'd been stung by the pack! He'd been stung by the packl
 ANNIE JAMES.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-09-22
CONUNDRUMS.

CONUNDRUMS. When are eggs like silly lovers? When soft. |, What fishes are like inyallds? Weak fish. What ladies make us think of soap7 The ladies of Castle. When Is beefsteak like n flower? When rare. When is woman like n gardener When they nre both sewing (sowing).
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-09-22

And seeing the nest, A hanging so high, Said: "Ah, hully gee!
 An, hully gee! "T'll give you a tap With my long fishing rod, Just for fun,
 Just for fun.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-09-22
The Boy and the
 Hornets.

bnnd of gny hornets Bullded nest
 High up in tree,
 High up in n tree. They said to themselves, By dwelling so high We've got safety,
 We've got safety" But a boy passing by, With a long fishing rod. Looked up in the tree, Looked up in the tree.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-09-22

Gossip Is only lack of worthy theme. Select something ennobling to talk about then-then gossip" to your hearts content
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1907-02-01

wish to rise to the glory of poetry
and song( feed the provender to the
cattle and beef and pork to yourself.
The hog is found highly developed
among a high class people. He Is
impossible among low class people
In good environment the hog and his
twin, the steer. are the chief alchem
lists of fortune. In Kansas he obtains
his Eldorado. He makes iron nerves,
cool brains and brave hearts. He put
courage into the men at Manila and
Santigao bay, who placed Old Glory
in the place of hated tyranny's flag,
He makes peace and good will to
men, not paradise, but an inviting
approach.-Nebraska Farmer.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1907-02-01
Great Immigration to Canada.

ottowa, Feb. 1.-The annual fe
port of the department OF the interior
has been issued today There was an
increase of $697,439 in the gross
revenue of the department as com
pared with the previous year, and the
area of land disposed OF by land com
panies holding grants from the crown
was nearly double the acreage sold
during l9O4-05. These results, the
report says, should be considered
the strongest possible ground for
prosecuting with increased vlgor the
land and immigration policy OF the
The total revenue
from Dominion lands for the past de-
cade was $13,139,941 as compared
with $2,S49,SS4 for the preceding ten
years. The homestead entries for
1906 were 41,S69. compared with
3O,S19 for 1905. In 1896 the en-
.ries were 1857. The entries for the
past year represents a total popula-
ion of 1O5,42O souls. over $1,000
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1907-02-01
games with the local Y. NJ. G. A.

games with the local Y. NJ. @. A.
These two teams have already had
one game this season on the college
mems own floor, where Salem won by
a score OF 22 to 30, which shows that
II was close contest. and that the
one tomorrow night viii not be lack
ing In interest.
The llne-ups OF the two teams VIII
be the same as in their former game.
Jones Is again back In the game
with the Y. NJ. c. A.. after a several
weeks absence nursing sprained
wrist. The Salem lineup will be;
Jones, center; Rhodes and Basher.
forwards; slmonton and steinbach,
guards.
Before, the basketball game there
Will be a preliminary indoor base
bali game between I'D. Thlelson's
and Charlie Roth's teams, or better
known as the Bush bank" and Cen
.ral grocery" contingent" This will
be the first match OF the Salem In
door baseball teams.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1907-02-01

of those immigrants who came to
Canada last year and settled on gov
ernment lands. The report says that
a contract was entered into with the
Robbins immigration company, OF
London, England. for immigration
of 3SO,573 acres laying to the west
of Medicine Hat, This will greatly
assist district which requires irri-
cation to develop its full possibilities
The average price obtained for
school lands In Alberta was $11.55
per acre and in Saskatchewan of
$1f32 per acre.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1907-02-01

What have rattlesnakes to dc
with pigs?" was asked.
why, the pigs used to eat 'em, u
he answered.
How did they catch them?"
my sister," he said, put a hat
with stuffed bird on every pig. The
snake would try to charm the bird
and then the pig would get him.
That's the way we kept our pigs
alive"
The pigs get one luxury-dish-
water. Dishwater contains preserves.
molasses, pepper, tomatoes, onions,
steak, gravy, milk, pickles, grease,
cheese and exlled dlshrags. II is
sour and sweet, wholesome and tooth
some.
In Texas they have the razorback
hog. He is made up after Swiss ar
chitecture. The highest peak of this
corrugated back is six inches above
his tail. His tail hangs like a dish
rag from back window. He leaves
the impression of a man starting late
to his Office I'm the morning. He
lives on roots and peanuts. He will
help HIS neighbor gather the crop by
crawling under the fence at night.
Crossing him with blue blood gives
little Improvement. The only eff
fnatfun fn l.
railroad train. Then he becomes a
highbred Berkshire. His ham is
more juicy than the hind leg of an
iron dog or a pine knot
The city hog lives on tin cans and
tropical fruits. His tail has been
chewed off by dogs-he is curtailed
His picturesque back is enhanced by
a scalding from the cook.
He can hide himself in q heystack
where the hayknife has been rammed
in and pulled out. His side meat is
sometimes used for window glass. |
He is imDerishable and can be used |
for post hole digger.
One enthusiast says that the pig |
would be a better emblem of our ma
tion than the eagle. The pig is thrift
iy and peaceful. far more representa-
tive OF American character than the
rapacious eagle whose beak and
-alons signify nothing but war. Ma
Doleon lost Waterloo because his
army had soup and the Russians
bacon. Ingalls, would have gone back
70 the senate IL he had not subsisted
'n oatmeal and baked apples. II you
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1907-02-01
COBURN'S CARICATURE OF
THE HOG
/. HumOr of Kansas Hayseed After Dinner Orator

N Al dinner given in Kansas City
snty under the auspices of the
Ne and Fork club, Hon. f. ID. Co
M secretary of agriculture for
Iusas. talked on the subject. The
from Friendly Viewpoint"
expressions were highly humor-
n and well received. and before he
+. finished the guests were in al
81 continuous uproar. He said:
4 No reflection, hygienic or sanitary,
cast upon your city when l say
+ { for the hog, II is the most un-
1Dthy In the world. l can count
b 100000 of him that have
be to Kansas City and the records
pv all dead. Therefore, as his
b friend, and of his family, come
Fe to make a few remarks and in
duce resolutions.
From the repulsive antiquity.
Fough the long progress of years,
has become civilized. is a debt
per, a mortgage remover and a
ltress OF prosperity. He yields
fat luxury. He must be reckoned
fh by the luckless explorer of the
Eon. He is an automatic reducer
The corn supply and a raiser OF the
'ce. He Is a bucolic bond. whose
npons are large litters of pigs.
He Is patent pig, a condenser of
m' head cheese, glue, bristles,
Tons fertilizer, saddle covers and
Hsage. He is mint. and the vel.
corn Is the bullion which he
'hsnlts into coin. In all homes
Is on the tables. highborn, rich |
! POOR He is with the soldier in |
'aup ana the sailor on the deep. |
~ N'io per hundred he Is a pie |
q and We won't speak to him |
"a We meet him on the street
'"4o per hundred he is a gentle
!. ana scholar. He stops asso-
uhs With the country and comes
'0Sh and becomes an aristocrat.
soon he falls under harmful in
,u's' y gets It in the neck at the
Ains house and is bled to death.
= ne becomes the commerce OF
nA,loh. the fat OF the land.
waxing OF making pork with
! 'here may be other foods. as
"a 0y the story told at the corner
:. 'Ah remember" said the philos-
y when rattlesnakes were SO
.nat We couldn't raise corn"
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1907-02-01
Horseless carriages
Wireless telegraphy-
Now lardless cookery

Improvement is the order of the age.
There was time when Lard was considered
the only shortening. To-day, the only people
who use lard for shortening and frying pur-
poses are those who are not familiar with the
virtues of CoftOlene. II pays to be abreast of
the times. CoffoLene is not only superior to
lard from health standpoint being a vegetable
rather than an animal product, but ii will make
more palatable food than lard; and il is more
economical than lard because being richer, one
third less is required than ofard or cooking butter.
Lard cooked food is not digestible because
lard is a hog-tat product C0fkOie7H makes food
more digestible and healthful because it is es-
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1907-02-01
NEwBERGERs WILL PLAY HERE.

Pacific College Versus Y. NJ. q. A. In
Basketball Tomorrow Night.
Saturday night the people OF sa-
lem will have a chance 10 see anoth-
er good basketball game. The Pa
cific College team OF Newberg will
journey up TO Salem and engage In
one OF the scheduled state league
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1907-02-01

sentially product of nature and contains only
that which is digestible, healthful and a real
means of sustaining life.
II your grocer is an up-todate, progressive
man, he will have CoffOLeRe in stock. More than
that, If be has ever used IL in his own family,
he will recommend 1t in preference TO lard or
cooking butter. II he does not do this, II is
only because he is unfamiliar with the virtues
of CofkOieNe. Prove our claims to your own
satisfaction by giving the product fair test.
Give CottOleNe a good fair test, use II
according to directions, and note the benefit
10 your digestion. You'll
never go back 10 Lard.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-26
A Tip to Smokers,

DO you want TO know how to smoke
and smoke. and yet keep the room
clear of all the fumes and odors o
tobacco? How to smoke in the din
ing-room. the drawing.room, youl
wife's bedroom, without leaving a sin
gle tobacco smell in the air? Well
III tell YOU
Here the salesman took down a
small ring of platinum.
"All you have to do" he said. "is
to set this ring over lamp and let Il
get red-hot Rcd-hot, it will consume
the smoke of dozen cigars, keeping
the air quite clear and sweet Will,
one of these rings in use, there is no
ground for forbidding a man to smoke
anywhere.
1T has long been known that plat.
mum consumes tobacco smoke.
wonder that no one ever thought of
the wonderful platinum smoke-absorb.
ing rings before"
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-26

taught religion, throughout its
ninety eight years of history-with
another year of lease yet to full
fill.
From its bulletin for 1906 we
quote the following: In looking
over the names of the Alumni in
Relationship to the work of the
ministry 1t will be seen that prior
to the administration of Solomon
Howard ID. D., and that of DR..
scott 1852 to 1883, Presbyterian in
! huences seemed strongest But
during lSj2-lss3 the NJ z. church
seemed to have the strongest hold
ana made the greatest effort to
win students and right well was
the work done. 1t is in this period
OF the colleges history that Bish-
ops Moore and Cranston received
their education, and also others
who filled leading pulpits in the
various conferences of the State.n
In 1906 tbs institution conferred
the following degrees.
Theodore e. Burton, Ill. D.. Sar-
dine p. Humphrey. A. NJ. Albert A.
Spohe, d. d., c. W. Fl. Smith, ID. d.
John l.. Trisler, M Ped
The state is secular institution.
1t had its origin in time and ia
supposed to end in time. It is of
human origin. No institution having
origin in the State and receiving
sustenance from the State can con-
sistently claim to rise higher than
its source 1t is not question as
to whether a particular religion or
all religious are good. bad or in
different. 1t is matter of corsis-
tency-a matter of logic. The State
Is powerless to assume the right to
authorize the teaching of religion
in any institution. Congress Is
equally powerless to do likewise.
I'm institution that grants degrees
must necessarily have a course that
would lead up to those degrees
II this institution has such a course.
the catalogue should show 1t. This
however, is of no moment since the
degrees are as ficticious with n
spurious counse as they would be
without it.
II our theological seminary Is II
is not. If 1t is not. it Is bunco
game played upon the credulous
and guileless public.
1t is as unfortunate as II Is true.
that those who shape the policy of
our common school through the
medium of their sectarian institu-
tions, educate the teachers of our
common school In their sectarian
institutions and are in direct con-
troll of our common schools, yet
they had no part In they the crea-
tion of our common school. t
CHARLES f.. LUKENs.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-26

selves hundred fold in two or
three years without taking any care
OF them. No taxes to pay, no mill
tary services to be performed.
! A disinterested Frenchman visit
ing this territory few years later.
made the following report for the
benefit of his countrymen These
magnificent promisers forgot to say
mat these forests must be cut down
before corn can be raised: that for
ia year, at least, they must bring
thelr daily bread from a great dis
tance: that hunting and fishing are
agreeable amusements when mr.
sued Tor the sake of amusement
but are widely different when fol
lowed for the sake of subsistence.
And they quite forgot to mention
that, though there be no bears
or tigers in the neigh borh God, there
are wild beasts infinitely more cum
ming and ferocious i'm the shape of
men who were at that time at
open and cruel war with the
whites. -
Many Frenchmen. sacrificing all.
came to America, and settled in
southern Ohio and endured priva
tions beyond description. Financial
disaster overcame Duer. The land
company was not clear of fraud.
AS for the deal with the govern
ment, investigation was eventually
decided upon but the usual proceed
ure was carried out. No action was
taken prior to the death of all
parties concerned.
The college tract of forty-six
thousand acres was first settled for
the sake of booming the land of
the New England Ohio Company.
New Englanders came in great
numbers and an empire established
in the west, The first educational
institution west of the Alleghenies
was established for the ''instruc-
tion of youth in all the various
branches of liberal arts and sciences
for the promotion of good educa-
ton, virtue. religion and morality,
and for comforting all degrees and
literary honors granted in similar
institutions. F."
Though this institution started
with an inheritance or at least its
promoters did, of forty six thousand
acres, 1t has had a most checkered
career. 1t is now dependent upon
the state for sustenance. Its gradu-
ates have been very solicitious of
its continuance, lest they might be
reduced to the level of the French
nobility.
This institution has been no com
mon affair. 1t has ever basked in
the "higher branches of the syca-
more tree, One subject. at least.
this institution has faithfully
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-26

was probably used to designate that
the term was dropped after the
Indians were Pequotted
Among some other prerequisites
was a tract OF two townships con-
tanning 10000 acres for college
purposes. The two-thirds part of
the entire tract was paid for in
script, worth twelve cents on the
dollar, The next step in order was
to launch their land scheme upon
the credulous in France. Plats were
drawn and pictured in colors.
vast portions of which were desig-
mated as cleared and settled. Had
they been cleared OF Indians there
would have been truth in that par
ticular. The only settlements that
had been made so far was with
the government at twelve cents on
the dollar, less the prerequisites. ;
The Doctors description, with some
embellishments, translated in
French read as foIlows.
"A climate wholesome and de-
lightful, frost even in winter al
most entirely unknown and a river
called by way of cminence, the
beautiful, and abounding in fish of
vast size. Noble forests consisting
of trees that spontaneously pro
duce sugar, (the sugar maple) and
a plant that yields ready made
candles, Venison in plenty the pur-
suit of which rs uninterrupted by
wolves, foxes, lions or tigers. A
couple of swine viii multiply them.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-26
Grandparents TELL ABOUT PE-RU-NA,
Catarrh Fifteen Years.

Mrs. s. A. Rogers, LeMoore, Cal.
writes:
81 had chronic cafarrh of fifteen
years standing, and death seemed to
stare me in the face. tried several so.
called catarrh remedies, and withou,
avail. I took fifteen bottles of Peruus
and five bottles of Manalin, and 1 am
completely cured. All the catarrhal
symptoms are gone, my digestion is
good, my appetite is good, and 1 rest
well at night. I am seventy years of
age and 1 hope to live many more years
to praise Peruna to all my friends who
suffer from catarrh as did,"
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-10-26

Iare upheld they may prevail upon
this nation to give. us an army and
a navy as temperate and self-con.
trolled as that Of imperial Japan
which has revealed such intrepid
valor and astonisI)ed the world by
Its immunity from disease and its
chivalry. This would not be possible
in our land withouL the federated ac-
ton of these women of our churches
bringing to bear qpon society and
government the high ideals of the
Pure and Perfect One, creating ma
tion tempered as afDamascus blade:
a nation keen, clear-brained, restrain
ed-fit for the leadership of the world
EXTRACTS from address by Rev.
William l.. Havens. D. D.. delivered
at the Inter-Church conference.
The frequency with which we hear
our w. G. T. U. motto For God and
Home and Native Land" quoted in
the public addresses of eminent men
who have enlisted in.the war against
the liquor traffic, is evidence of the
good work done by W. C. T. U. moth.
ers during the thirty-three years OF
our organized existence. We pray for
the day when our watchword shall
become that of the nation.