The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1907-06-04

every bubble you see picture paint
ed in all the colors OF the rainbow,
but you try to grab one and you'll
find you've nothing in, your mitts but
a wet spot. I'll have to stick a pin
in this last bubble Of yours. You pass
up this Southwestern trip with that
bunch Of bone diggers from your
knowledge factory and confine your
scientific researches to the study Of
the base ball bug.
I know you've got the Western
fever and have painted yourself a
lovely picture Of the boundless prai-
ries, the freedom of the West, etc.,
but I'm also hep to the fact that your
picture resembles the real article as
much as a May Howard poster re-
sembles a Whistler. When you've
hit the high places for as many years
as [ have you'll get wise to the fact
that about the most widespread dis
ease on this little pill is. inflamma-
ton Of the imagination. You'll find
most guys wanting the things they re
furthest away from and know the
least about. It's the Old story of dis
tance lending enchantment to the
view. When you trim your lamps on
something away off all the colors
blend harmoniously, and the ugliest
old wart on the face u the earth is
mighty pretty to look at. But when
you duck in and clinch with it you
get next to the bum spots and put the
whole picture on the blink.
So take off your rose-tinted glas-
ses, son; I've got. a line for you that
makes this bone-digging jaunt look
like "a funeral excursion. There s
been some guys from the Klondike
down here trying sign players for the
new Klondike League, and when
you get out of that know
ledg factory We'll hit the trail
for the Chilkoot Pass, where you can
get some valuable training for the
early season games in the big leagues.
The towns on the Klondike League
circuit are Juneau, Skagway, Daw-
son, Fairbanks, Douglas City and
White Horse. About one season on
this trapped circuit and you could
come back here and kick into the
early season games with a bunch of
ginger that would make The other guy
look like the ducc Of spades in a
bobtailcd diamond straight flush.
The diamond dads insist on dishing
up base ball befcor the kids have quit
throwing snow balls, and then scrv-
ing up trapped championship games
for dessert in the fall. And right
here is where you'd stick out from
ger on Paderewki's thousaid- dollar
a-nights.
-IVhiln tho other onys aro .-ouddlinS
up behind the base bags and rubbing
snow on their frost bites, you'd blow
in from the Klondike League with a
palm leaf fan and a basket of iced
drinks, and show midsummer
form" that would give the sport
ing editor a brain storm.
It's a great scheme, son, and it's
GOT all other press agent lodges tied
to a post. Then you ought to have
cincn in that Klondikc League, too.
| havn't seen their schedule yet, but
they say the nights are six months
long up in that neck Of the woods, and
unless they play laundering lot Of
double-headers you'll get a long rest
between the games. Instead of the
main guy telling the players to go to
bed by 10 o'clock, he'll give orders
for all players to retire by the 10th
of August and be up ready for morn
ing practice by the 18th of Febru-
ary. The pitcher who pitches one
game every three days In the Klon-
dixie League, will have time to float
down here and pitch few seasons in
the National or American League be-
tween games. You'll not get spinal
meningitis slamming at spit-ball
shoots up there, either. The guy who
slobbcrs on the ball on the Klondike
circuit will have to get it amputated
from his mitts with an ice pick.
Speaking of the spit-ball, sonny
I've given some study to this pesky
pitch with the cuspidore trimmings
and I'll put you next to how to soak
the splitter. Some guys might tell
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