davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-06-30
Deducfion and Moral.

Accordingly, il IS not only with
manifestation that Washington re-
views the qUick-lunch mania IN its
sister cities. but also with pride. for
IL leads 20 a realization that the CAPT
tai is not only she show place of the
natiCn. but also its mentor IN the
pleasant philosophy OF gastron0uics-
Our immunity from this horror also
goes far TO explain and plliata "a
rough discourtesies OF other tovTnz. the
curt snarl OF the car conductor. and
he tactics OF the street car hogs.
DysDeptics and quick-Iunchers. who
are always in trouble with the de
partment Of the interior cannot be
expected to be Beau BrummeIs-
But your Washington.aR, from sewer
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-06-30
Professionally Immune.

Eyes. sie." concluded the man. with
a nervous gesture ard rolling eye. ITS
the survival OF the httesL I've been
look as If want to souf a carbolie
cocktail or beat It for the river? Nix.
nixLths St. Regis OF the Waldorf
Astoria might drive me dippy-but
Beefstesk John's'-nev-ver, ne boy,
neV-vert''
Why he concluded. II would
rather qgiek-Iunch than eat"'
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-06-30

T Ohm BURROUGHS. the famous
nature student is never tired
OF ridiculing the new school OF
nature writer's. the school that
attributes a quiet human intelligence
20 animals and insects.
Mr.. Burroughs dined with me one
night" said q Washington editor
Among my guests was a nature writ
er of the New York school This
Young man told a wonderful story
about the intelligence OF oysters He
said he was going 20 put the story In
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-06-30

fast. know that it will soon be the
cause Of my death.
A few days later the young woman
vas found dead-slain by her own
hand An investigation disposed OF
love affairs and kindred causes. and
centcred the matters down to mel
ancholla brought on by ouick-1unch-
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-06-30
Doctors Sonnd Alarm.

Attention was first called to the ac-
tual danger OF quick-lunehing by the
case Of Miss, Eta Morgan, pretty
stenographer and choir singer Of Chi
cage. Recently she said 10 her aunt.
with despairing gesture:
Il am a slave to the quick-1unch
maitland / simply can't stop eating
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-06-30
WASHINGTON
s min
versus

The Government clerks and men Of
other occupations are allowed ample
time-frOm thirty minutes upward-for
the MONDAY meal. and they devote
that time strictly toward eating and
digestion. The average New Yorker
and ChicagOan. in the same period. by
lasty eating. VIII save fifteen min
utes. and then, on his way back 20 the
Office, VIII spend half an hour look
ing az wOrkingmen laying an asphalt
pavement, digging a sewer, OF some
other such thrilling sight
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-06-30

Say, qUerIed The Times man.
" hat is your occupation
am the glass-eater and sword
swallOWer ia a BOwery museum" ne
said-sO. Of course. the test was hardly
q fair one.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-06-30
4 FIatterfng Comparison.

Nothing can De more Illuminating in
proving that Washington IS the city OF
safe and sane meals. than to CON-
pare the time consumed by the aver
age Washingtouian al HIS MONDAY
lunch with the tactics OF the New
Yorker This comparison IS the fruit
OF wide observation and much tabu-
lati0n.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-06-30
4 Horrible Example.

NIX on the danger. me boy" he
ssid- I've. been starring on this
-cruIler ctrcuir lOw for twenty years.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-06-30

a Panama steam shovel loaded his
knife with a cargo Of beans
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-06-30
FFenzied Feeding Not
on the Daily Sched-
ule Of the Average
Resident or Govern
ment Clerk in the
Capital City.

ing" otherwise known as quick
lurching, Washington is chortling
gayly over her immunity. This
up-tO-date ailment, mania or dis
eaSe-call it what YOU Wills said
to be fruitful cause Of suicide BY
the health departments in the va
riouS cities where it has slain its
victimS-or rather bred a sort of
dySpeptic melancholia that prompt
ed them TO kill themselves. y
With probably more small res
tauTants in proportion to its size
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-06-30

than any city on earth, Washing
ton knows not the quick-luncher.
True, many of the restaurants are
of the quick-lunch type, where the
patron perches upon a high book
keepers stool, but the uniform pol
icy of the arrangements are to en-
courage all the luxuriant leisure in
gastronomics that one would ex-
pect in a first-class hotel. In New
York or Chicago, that pampered
patron who would take ever three
minutes with his fodder-with a
waiting line of other quick-lunchers
specializing on his seat when vacat-
ed, would be a candidate for the
bouncer.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-06-30

DIGGER 10 Cabinet official. is Chester
GeIdian, not only 70 his kind. but 90
the stranger within the city gates
Why and wherefore All, that per
mits the coming Of an epigram;
ANY man with good digestion Is q
gentleman
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-06-30

Capital City Citizens Gan Claim Immunity from The E2s Fonr-
dry and Beanev Blight With is I'm Ct dyspepsia
Breeding EDas-Proof That IT'S Easy to Be Gentleman
When "Good Digestion" Watson Appetite.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1907-05-30
NERVOUS, SHE PUTS ON "HUB-
BY'S" CLOTHES TO SCARE
SUPPOSED BURGLAR.
MISTAKEN FOR A STRANGER
NeWly-Married Man, Furiously Jealous,
Breaks Into Own Home and
Finds His Suspicious
Are Unfounded.

Middletown, N dearest" mar
INJURED the young husband, clssping
his wife in close embrace, II shall
stay away from the club, l swear it.
shall remain at home and protect
you"
Although newly married, the young
husband had rather neglected his
bride for the club. He was there last
night until very late. But he is not
there tonight. For the startling
events here related and his soul-sick-
ening suspicious are still very fresh in
his mind
At home his wife was reading the
newspapers and as it CHANGED, about
The hour that graveyards yawn, she
read vivid account of a murder. She
became very nervous and started at
the slightest noise; was convinced
that a burglar was at the shutter,
then that he was pacing to and fro
before the house
He must not know l am alone"
she said to herself 81 must make him
believe there is man in the house"
Trembling, she quickly put on a suit
Of her husbands clothes and hat Of
his. Although her heart was fiutter-
ing she opened the front door and dis
played for a moment what she fondIy
believed was a masculine figure to the
lurking burglar. AS she turned to go
IN her husband, returning from the
club in the darkness, saw the hat, the
coat, and, worst of ALL the trousers,
then saw the man invade his dove
cote. Half mad with sudden jealousy
he rushed to the door and hurled him,
self against it just as his wife within
locked it.
She shrieked in terror; the murder
GUS burglar was trying to gain en-
trance by force.
open the door, scoundrel!" hoarse-
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1907-05-30
Surprise Tests" on Railroads.

1t is but a few years since Ameri-
can railroads began Systematically
the use of surprise tests" These
more or less directly grew out of an
Incident that occurred on one of the
largest systems of the middle west.
10 test the operations of their sig
nails some officials went out one night
and leaving signal set at Clear"
simply removed the light. They
watched ten or twelve trains go by
and not one engineer stopped to in
quire what was the trouble, as the
rules demand. This same road re-
ports that in 1906, 1000 surprise tests
were made without one resulting in
failure The figures are a little stag.
gering; human nature is not usually
SO nerrant, says Carl Snyder in
Everybody's. But what is certain is
thnt accidents on the line have been
very materially reduced. The Penn
sylvania has had an almost identical
experience; and very recently the off,
erals OF the Lake Shore saw "a out of
90 trains go by signal purposely set
with lights out" Yet when the New
YORK Central system began these sur
prise tests they were threatened with
a strike.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1907-05-30
FOX The SMALL PEOPLE
Gum Drops HeaIthful Hon..
CONNECTION. "s0e

dissolve one poand gum Arabic :.
pint and a half of water stra;s S III a
add one pound sugar. Heat unt i ana an
sugar is dissolved, then flavor to taS.'
ana color all or part as desired T vDs'e
should be added while the mixt,ro
warm. When about the consistenar y
money, I'LL a shallow box with oo. "
starch, smooth the surface ana n,i.,
SUCK rounded at the end the sis sn
you desire to have the gum dron~
make little indentations in the storaS
They should be as close topo+bn~ w.
can be, without interfering If los
number of the gum drops are 70 So
made, round buttons of wood NAV ~
fastened to fiat board and the wboIo
set OF indentations made at onoo
race the mixture of sugar and sum
IN vessel with long lip or snout
ana pour out slowly, striking off with
wire. When the mould is filled cot
IN warm place for several DAYS nntiI
the drops are hardened enough 70
hanale. Then dampen a little ane
shape IN granulated sugar.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1907-05-30
CUP That Cheers.

There is surely nothing more well
come than good, properly made cup
of tea. Nor can anything so stimulate
jaded senses in the summer season as
the same importation from the east
served in any of several ways. No tea
is drinkable by anyone with the slight
est claims to taste unless it has been
freshly brewed within the last Is min
utes, for instance, says Womans Life
The water must have just boiled
for the first time, and only boiled five
minutes at longest. The teapot must
be hot, the tea Ceylon or some other
black mixture, not the green or
Oolong varieties, if the best is de-
sired. AS to the teapot, though silver
may charm the eye, the ordinary
cheap brown earthenware makes the
better tea.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1907-05-30
The straphaneer in London.

with the introduction of the Ameri.
can electric railroad system in Great
6r1taln, the straphanger at once
Joomed large in the street car. The
EngIshman, as everybody knows, OBJ
]ects to being crowded, and SO parlia-
ment mas been called upon to end the
straphanging nuisance" A bill has
been introduced in the house of com.
mons, says Baltimore Sun. and if il
is passed there will henceforth be no
straphangers. The Englishman who
rides in a street car will be sure of
seat. The aisles will be kept clear.
mere VIII be no overcrowding In
matters relating to their personal
comfort Englishmen seem to be very
exacting. Why shouldn't the strap
hanger be welcomed as a manifesto.
tlon or the age-of hustle, hustle and
the dell take the hindmost? The
Londoners show how much they are
pehlnd the times when they insist
upon excluding from a street car
every person who cannot get a seat.
Ihey are slow, very slow, in London.
iney Will never be Americanized and
modernized until they welcome the
straphanger and sacrifice comfort to
expedition and the "get-there" spirit.
VIII the Londoners never cease to
demand all they pay for?
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1907-05-30
Washing Pocket-Handkerchiefs

Remember to wash all good pocket
handkerchiefs by themselves, quite
apart from anything else. Soak them
overnight in cold water, then wash IN
hot water, using the best white SOAP
rinse in clear cold water, squeeze the
water out of them, rub well WIN
white soap, and boil for 20 minutes
with little dissolved borax IN tne
water. Then rinse again, and II any
spots remain wash them. Blue in tne
usual manner, and iron before tney
are quite dry with well-pollsneu
hot iron. Handkerchief treated -
this way will keep their color anu
wear well.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1907-05-30
BATTLE WITH TURTLE
ON JAMAICA COAST

New York.-Three officers of the
united Fruit steamship Bradford.
which arrived the other day from Port
Antonio. had a narrow escape for
tneir lives in Montego~ bay when the
steamer was anchored in the stream
on the southern coast of Jamaica and
while the three were trying to lasso
one or the monster turtles. The three
officers were First officer Meinheit
Second Officer Moller and Chief En-.
gineer Tonner.
When the Bradford came TO anchor
In Montego bay Mr.. Meinheit decided
that 1t would be a good thing to 90
turtle hunting for the day. So he
and the two other officers went ashore
and started, rope in hand, for the Ia
goons that abound in that vicinity
Some distance down the shore thew
came upon a number of big turtles
weighing all the way from so to 800
pounds each.
Moller started in pursuit of one
giant turtle which had taken alarm
and was making slow time over the
sands toward the waters edge. Just
before the big fellow got into the
water the rope held by Moller swished
through the air and landed over the
head of the turtle. effectively lassoinG
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1907-05-30

odd Ironsides," the famous frigate
Constitution, is preparing to make
what is likely to be her last cruise
or at least the last trip prior to being
laid up in perpetuity. She is being
htted for voyage to Hamilton
roads, where she will be one of the
most interesting exhibits at the
jamestown exposition AS a shin she
will not cut much of a figure along.
side of the big floating steel fortresses
representing the navies of the world
But no vessel of all the number will
typlfy as much glorious history as
"Old lronsides." 1t seems almost
pity, says Troy Times. that the
famous craft, now at BROOKLYN navv
yard, cannot be put in shape to sail
down the coast and into the famous
roads under her own canvas. This is
impossible, however, and the once
stately vessel will be towed to her
destination by a commonplace tug
But even this cannot rob her of her
well-won renown
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1907-05-30
WHEN HANGING UP GOWNS
Bag OF White Muslin Is a Good Thinc
to Have Handy.

Don't hang gown wrong side ont
before hanging it up, no matter how
delicate color it is.
Nothing ruins the set more quickly.
which is soon evidenced by the
creases which creep here, there and
everywhere
It's natural enough, for the outside
must necessarily be made a little
larger and looser than the lining, and
reversing the usual order of hanging
is bound to react in some unpleasant
way.
Ii the gown is a delicate color, make
a big bag of white muslin to slip it
in while hanging up, or pin a white
cloth-big enough to cover it-over it,
taking care, in either case, to have
the covering hang from the hook or
from the coat hanger, instead Of drag
ging upon the dress itself.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1907-05-30
BRIDES RUSE is
TOO EFFECTIVE.

ly cried the husband. open the door
that / may kill you'll
go away! Go away!' shrieked she,
forgetting all about the trousers she
wore, about her assumed manhood.
go way! I've telephoned for the
police-for my husband. He will kill
you!"
Let me see-my wife-no, l will
not call you wife. You and your-let
me in, | tell you" yelled the husband,
and with the force of ten men he
threw himself against tAe door
The lock snapped, the door flew
open, the wife tainted. He stumbled
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1907-05-30
Servinu Lettuce.

When only the straight edgeu y"
riety of lettuce can be procured sni ~ ~
it with an extremely sharp kniio
scissors for about two inches W.
around the edge. 1t will make pr
ty fringed effect, is easier TO eau OF "at
will not bruise the leaves il IL 10 so,
in a cGander on the ice directly ai'''
cutting.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1907-05-30

It, 1t continued it's flight however.
ana Moller, who was paying attention
only 10 the capture of his prize, did
not look where the rope was going
IL colled around the second officers
legs and minute later Mr.. Moller
was waist deep in the water. his feet
gong down deeper and deeper in the
muddy bottom of the treacherous
shore
The first officer and chief engineer
went to Moller's assistance. but thav
too, were dragged into the quicksand.
like mire, and things were looking
grave for the trio of German officers
when Mr.. Meinheit drew his sailors
knife and started to cut the rome
Meanwhile the turtle kept on its wav
waterward and the three men were
soon up to their necks in mud and
water.
The rope was too tough and too wet
for the knife of the first officer and
Meinheit, with rare presence of mind
suddenly dived over the heads of his
struggling companions, swimming far
ahead of them and also ahead of the
turtle. Then he dived again and man.
aged to throw the rope off the head of
the tortoise, bringing it to the sur
face. The three officers then swan
back to shore
When they got there, dripping as
they were, they found time to catch
six of the great turtles that had not
yet made their escape to the water
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1907-05-30

over her, but, a true man, he would
take no advantage of fallen foe. He
touched a button and flooded the hall
with light
Mary he shouted, raising her.
"Oh, john she said when she re-
vived: Il thought you were a burg
lar"
And l thought-but never mind
what thought, he said, and promised
to stay home O. nights.
Her name is not Mary, nor his John
They are most popular young mar
ried couple, so their sensitive feelings
are spared; their names are withheld
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-09-06
A Serious Accident.

On Friday morning the fourteen year
old son of Geo. Barron met with an &C.
cident that might have cost him his life,
and he may lose one foot above the an
kle. The young lad was driving double
team hitched to a binder. The damp
grain caused the machinery to clog and
while standing in front of the sickle re-
moving some such obstruction the hors-
es started. One foot was caught in the
sickle and cut clear off, save about two
inches of the skin and tissued, the bones
being completely severed. He managed
to stop the horses and mount the seat of
the binder, and call his older brother,
Arthur, driving another outfit,
who wanted to know what was the mat
ter. He pointed to the blood-spattered
platform and his foot that was hanging
to one side, and blood flowing freely.
Arthur took garment and wound it
around the limb tightly and drove to the
house some distance away. DR.. Harris
was sent for and arrived there about an
hour and half later. He was assisted
by DR.. Henderson of Emerson DR. James
of Bathgate and Mr.. Shaw. After con-
sultation it was decided to make an eff
fort to save the limb, by tying the bones
together with silver wire insertions and
sewing the skin. The operation was per-
formed and when the patient came to
he was cheerful, although weak from the
loss of blood. Latest reports. are that
he is doing we'll, and unless unforeseen
complications set in, the foot will be saw
ed.
Mr.. and Mrs. Barron, and the bright
youth have the sympathy of all in this
misfortune.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-09-06

Brother Deacon insinuates in last
weeks New Era that people in Pembina
are feasting on st. Vincent chickens and
that the editors Of the Pioneer Express
are accessories to plundering the chick
en- roosts across the river. This is a
grave charge. While newspapermen,
through petty jealousies often let the
pen get away with their better judgment,
it is the first time we have been accused
of that crime, and we resent it. As for
the rest of the people we cannot say.
Bro. Deacon who owns and operates the
ferry between the two places ought to
know what is going on, but it may be,
like in the case of the San Francisco
Doodle investigation, he is afraid of the
true light being given the matter, and
seeking to divert the suspicious or his
neighbors. They charge toll to cross
the ferry-and Editor Deacon is said to
love friers.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-09-06
Premium Papers.

The PIONEER EXPRESS cannot be re.
sponsible for the stoppage before expira
ton or continuance after expiration of
other papers sent as premiums or on
vep tat eb Me @ bc how
tinued at the end of the subscription
Subscribers should note the date of ex-
piration of premium papers and if they
wish them discontinued refuse them
from the postmaster after they have ex-
pired. Taking a paper from the post
office is prima facie evidence that the
person taking it is a subscriber and
therefore liable for the subscription. Any
person who pays mp arrears and orders a
paper stopped and thereafter refuses the
responsibility for further payment. In
any case of rregularity, change of adj
the publishers of the premium papers.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-09-06
County News

Jack Shaw of Pemblna is visiting at
the home of Jas. Craig of Drayton.
Eleanor Short of Pembina has been
visiting with the McCrea girls at Dray-
ton.
Miss Francis Gilroy left Drayton for
Mayville where she will teach the com.
ing year. ....
r. j. Moore of Drayton has purchased
an automobile from DR.. Wilson of
Crystal.
Albert The'xton and family arrived
from Winnipeg and will make their
home in st. Thomas.
a new boy arrived at the home of Mr..
and Mrs. Wellington Thompson, west of
Walhalla on August 23rd.
Mrs. Kate Mcbride of St. Thomas
has gone to Galesburg where she will
teach school the coming year.
A j. McFadden and family of Neche,
were the guests of Hon. d. H. McFad-
den at Emerson on Sunday last.
Rife Paddock arrived from Indiana
last week to look after the harvesting
and threshing of his grain near Cavalier
Miss Minnie May has returned from
her eastern trip, much refreshed and
ready to resume her duties in the school,
room.
Mrs. Mcqueen of Pembina, and Miss
Hannah Hood of Hannah, N. D. were
arrivals in Drayton. They are sisters Of
DR.. Hood.
Eli Beaudry Of Neche, who has beer
81 seriously ill is slowly improving, anc
hopes are entertained for his ultimate
r covery.
Photographer Kitchener of Walhall,
went to st. Paul to be in attendance a
the northwestern photographers con
vention.
Rev. Erickson of Drayton lost his /.
foot canoe last Saturday. 1t is painted
dark green on the outside and was tiet
to the bridge.
Fred w. Thompson has returned t,
his home in Chicago after montl
spent in St. Thomas. He is great,
improved in health.
Miss Mabel Mcknight, popular
young lady of Langdon and Mr.. Harr,
! Francis, druggist of that city wer
united in marriage.
Miss Lonis Robertson of Grand Fork
daughter of president Robertson o
Wesley College was the guest of Mis-
Ida Fennell of Hamilton.
VIM. Husband, of Hensel, a membe
of the 'O7 class of the U. N. D. Law
school, has been taken into partner
ship with j. H. Bosard of Grand Forks
! Attorney NJ. Brynjolfson of Cavalie
has sufficiently recovered from his re
cent illness to be out daily taking exer
else, though he is still quite weak as
result.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-09-06
Subscription Rates and Terms.

The PIONEER EXPRESS is sent only on
the direct order of. subscribers and is
continued until ordered stopped and all
arrearages paid.
The rate of subscription is alike to all
$500 per year. Subscribers paying in adj
vance have the choice of several premium
papers in addition.
Sample" or marked copies" are sent
as complimentary only. and while we de.
sire them to be considered as invitations
to subscribe. they will not be continued
except upon request.
The PIONEER EXPRESS is the best adj.
vestising medium in the county, having
other paper. Card of rates sent on ap
plicatiOn
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-09-06

st. Michaels Catholic church at
Grand Forks burned on Sunday morning.
Cause is not known. Loss about S4O,-
600, insurance about $4,000. 1t will be
rebuilt at cost of 500, 600.