davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1907-07-30
Mixing Humor and Mathematics.

Figures will not lie, but Democratic
| editors will bear watching. In the
| hands Of Democratic editor, especial
ly if the gentleman also poses as a
professional humorist, facts and figures
are mere toys and not things to be TAX
en- at all seriously Now, there is the
Watcrville Sentinel, for instance. Just
at present it is engaged in the glorious
and patriotic business of running down
the State of Maine, declaring that
Maine farms are decreasing in number
and value and assuring Maine farmers
that they and their business are headed
straight for the demnitiOn bow-wows.
In the Sentiners latest calamity
whine, which of course every intelli-
gent farmer in Maine knows is not
justified by the actual conditions, it
brings out figures showing that the
total acreage of Maine farms de-
creased from 6,55257S in 1880 to 6, 299, 946
in 1900, decrease of 25O,00O acres in the
20 years. Having presented these fig
ures the Sentinel proceeds to talk
about a decrease of "35 per cent"
since 1880 in Names improved farm
lands. The mathematical process by
which the Sentinel gives the impress
sion that 100000 is 80 per cent. of g.
552,57S is one peculiar to the Sentinel
sanctum and with which the readers
of that paper are familiar. A little
later in the same editorial this de-
crease is spoken of as decrease of
100000 acres. This, however, is a
| trining discrepancy, and will simply
give the prosperous farmers of Maine
| if it happens to meet their eyes
! another chuckle at the uncomfortable
exuperance Of the Sentinel humorist.
| Plainly, the mixture of humor and
i mathematics has created q cerebra
tornado in the Sentinel Office. but il
will take more humor and more mathe-
MATES than have yet been employed il
the farmers of Maine are to be con.
WINGED that the Maine agriculture is or
the decline. They know very much
better. They know that farm values
in Maine are higher now than evel
before that Maine farmers are better
best in the history of the State.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1907-07-30
Another Veteran Senator Cone

Closely following upon the aii"o"
a.. death of Senator Morgan OF
,,a,. comes the death of his aged
colleague. Senator Pettus' wno' VIZ ~
wears to his credit, was the oiues
n,h,r If the upper branch OF Con-
u,.. Unlike the late Senator Nor
can Senator Pettus had been in the
INNER branch of Congress but rcla-
.;,,o,,, few wears. He was appointed
i, 1905 at the age of IS and when
do,th came he was serving his second
form which would have expired In
1000 Like Senator Morgan he was a
native of Alabama, a Confederate vet
Gran and resident of the town OF
Selma. This place of only 5000 peo-
ple, of which a majority are negroes
has for years had the distinction of
being the home of Alabama's two vet
eran senators.
Before coming to the Senate Mr.. Pet
tus had never been in public life. He
was one of the men who went to Cali
fornia in 1S49 when the gold fever
broke out, but remained there only q
year or two and then returned to his
native state where he practiced law,
with the exception of the Civil War
period, until he went to the Senate q
decade ago. Unlike his colleague,
Senator Pettus was no speech-mak
and his voice was seldom heard in the
Senate Like him, however, he was a
man Of strong and independent views,
of strict integrity, clinging always to
old ia shioned ideas and manners, and
venerable and picturesque figure
who will be much missed in Washing
ton
In the passing of Senators Morgan
and Pettus younger generation comes
to the. front as representing Alabama
in the Senate. congressman Bank
head has already been appointed to
succeed Senator Morgan and it is said
that Ex-Governor johnson will succeed
Senator Pettus. While these two men
may be more progressive than their
predecessors they are certainly not to
be classed as their equals in intel
lectual strength, and Alabama will
hardly hold the important place in the
Senate which the two old veterans
have given it. The death of Senator
Pettus leaves Senator Whyte of Mary
land, aged SO. as the oldest member of
the upper branch.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1907-07-30

periods of laxity have come and
passed before. The tonnage in that
year was Of course mostly for the
coasting trade and government SER
vice but that showed a change Of style
in the type Of vessels built to corre-
spond with the work for which they
were intended. When we had a large
foreign trade Bath built many square
riggers as follows: 1851-30 ships;
1896 ships; 1S53--48 ships; 1857
SO ships; 1850 ships; 1856-4l
ships; 1870 ships. In the year
1899 Bath built but two ships but it
did build many vessels for the cOasting
trade. The scii66ners developed fast
est during the period from 1879 to 1889
when the number built was as follows:
1924; ~1SS0-26; 1SS1--31; 1882
As; 1856; 1874; 1SS5-17: 1856
IL; 1SS7--11; 1SSS-1S; 1890. In
1889 the four masters were coming
into vogue to some extent, but only
as an experiment, and even then there
were builders who were inclined to
doubt the feasibility of making them
successful cargo carriers in the general
trade. The development of the four
stickcrs was followed by the five, then
the SIX and In one case the seven
mastcd schooner. The five-masters
are today the type most frequently
seen under construction and with their
development has come a falling off in
the number constructed which is no
doubt due to this greatly increased
size. The three master has become
somewhat of rarity and in her place,
for shoal waters. has come the barge
and while this style craft does not re-
ceive great commendatiOn for it's
beauty it is nevertheless a neces-
sary evil and Bath builds them having
launched nearly 30 in single year.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1907-07-30
The Unknown Laborer.

Yesterday morning an Italian laborer
working on the line of the new electric
railroad to connect Gardiner and Lew
iston, was killed by the falling of a
tree. The man was one of several
hundred in the employ of the contract
or. Nobody knew his name; nothing
1t was simply understood that he was
an Italian and his only distinguishing
mark was number on a metallic tag
by which he was known to the boss.
Such an incident as this is not very
common, to be sure, in the building
OF our electric roads, for the nature of
the work is not in itself especially
hazardous, yet similar tragedies occa-
sionally occur here in Maine and the
killing of unknown laborcrs is of very
frequent occurrence in the great cities
where much work is being done on
tunnels and sewers. in sections where
DIS are being built, and in the
mining regions.
Where large gangs of laborers are
employed in construction work they
are usually tagged instead of being
known by their names. In most cases
they arc newly arrived foreigners
whose names are hard to pronounce
and worse to spell, and when train
runs into gauge at work or when
there is an explosion in a mine, or a
drcdge used in coast Improvement
work, it is simply given out that a
dozen or a score of Italians, or Poles
or Lithuanians are killed. Their
names are of no importance to the rest
| of us, any more than the names
| would be Of the victims of a Chinese
famine. or the plague in India, or an
earthquake in New Zealand. NJ
On the southern battlefields. in oul
| great national cemeteries, and in some
of our northern cities. there are monu.
ments and memorials to the thousand.
of unknown dead of the great Civil
War. They died for their countr,
and a grateful people loves to hono
their memory. In the great army o
labor which is fighting the battle of ou
c"untry's progress and prosperit!
there is also great and unknown
number of unknown dead. They di
by hundreds and probably by thou
sands every year. as our mines an,
railroads and mills and river tunnel
daily claim their fresh victims Blu
the work must be done and there ar
| plenty of men to do it. and when on
dies at his task somebody at once step
in to fill the vacant place.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1907-07-30
How We Do Chance,

oh, the dear old swimming hollow! 1t
YVES there we used TO wallow in an
unhygienic pool of brackisli ooze.
Whilst the insects stung like fury and a
se!f-appcinted jury tied our clothing
into knots and hid our shoes.
There were lots of bottles busted; there
were piles of tin cans rusted; there
were heaps of deadly junk on every
band;
And it makes me weak and chilly as l
think of the bacili. How we lodged
'em | shall never understand.
Oh, the dear old swimming hollow, All
the poets love to follow back the
trail that leads to boyhood and to
YOU.
But as l recall the brambles that were
wont to mar our IambleS, my
regrets, l must confess, are very
few.
Youth is ever gay and sunny and it may
seem very funny to get bit and stung
and harticd. when cub;
But the wears those joys are dinmine
and Ia rather do my swimming in
the prim and porcelain precincts OF
tub.
washington Herald.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1907-07-30
Ever Had Ocean Heart?

The throbbing and vibration of the en-
gines of modern steamer have a mos.
heart.
Let it be said at once that ocean
travelling does not in any way injure the
neart; on the contrary, it benefits it, with
the general health.
But the vibration of the machinery is
transmitted to this vital organ with the
most extraordinary results so far as med
ical examination Is concerned.
A ships doctor will tell you that when
ne listens. through his stethoscope to the
beating of mans heart at sea, It seems
as II every moment the heart would stop
With sturdy and invalid passengers IL
Is Just the same. The heart appears to
the doctor as il every beat would be Its
iast TBS being the case. it is exceed
ingly diffcult for the physician to aScer.
tain the true condition of the travellers
health. and he generally resorts; to the
expcditnt Of singing his patient in Z
hammock. where the vibration IS consid
erably lessened. though no device car
overcome it altogether
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1907-07-30
Provocation Enouqh.

n deaf old gentleman dined with a FAM
lily where grace was always said When
the guests were seated the host bowed his
head. and began to repeat tine accus-
toned verse in Il subdued, reverent tone
Eth? What's that?" demanded the deaf
old gentleman who sat beside him.
The host smiled patiently. and began
again, in louded, more deprecatory
voice.
Speak little louder, 1 don't catch
what you say" the old gentleman per-
sisted.
a low ripple of laughter went around
the table. The host, his face crimson
with embarrassment, raised his voice and
repeated the verse. The deaf old gentla-
man did his hest to hear, but failed He
paced his hand upon his hosts arm.
What did you say?' he demanded,
irascibly
The host cast him an angry glance
I'm 1t, I'm saying grace" ne snap
ped.-Harper's Weekly.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1907-07-30
The Way Of the College Girl.
philadelphia RecordD.

Philadelphia Record.) "a
These college girls, said Il clergyman,
as he Sazed at tie white and superb
ranks of the beautiful graduates, are 8
boon TO the race. They introduce new
ideas.
II christencd the other day the first
BABY of a married college girl. Now,
babies usually cry While they are being
chrsteneG: but this one was as quiet as
larab. Throughout the ceremony il
smiled up beautifully into my face.
We'll. madam said | to the youn:;
wife at the cEristening's end. L must
congratulate you or your little ones be-
hlv:or. 1 have christ. ned more than 2Cn
ba bies, but l never before christened one
that behaved so well as yours
THE young mother smiled demurely.
mo wonder he behaved WE'LL she said
His father and l. with a pail of water,
have beer practicing christening ON him
for the last ten days.
"The idea of rehearsing a baby for Il
chriStenirg. Who but a college girl
would think of such a thirg?"
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1907-07-30

The dead and unidentified laborer, OF
which we had an incident on the new
electric road to Lewiston yesterday, Is
only an incident of the days work.
Some other nameless immigrant wears
the dead mans metal tag and the work
goes on. And yet the dead man was a
human being. Somewhere far pevoh"
the sea are those who knew and io'eo
him and they will never know his 1ate'
It seems a very hard thing, put II ha'
always been the way of the BUSY "o''u
and will continue % be whiie
earns his bread by the sweat OF MS
brow
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1907-07-30


The story comes from Washington of
the downfall and departure of the IA
nous canine. Pete. The President s
blue ribbon bull terrier. whose disre-
gard for diplomats, high state officials,
newspaper reporters, and humble gov
eminent clerks visiting the White
House has caused much trouble and
even threatened International compli-
cations. has finally been banished from
the national capital. After his last
escapade, he was taken to the bach
yard Of one Of the Presidents friend.
in the suburbs. and chained seturel,
to an iron post. A day or SO ago
he nipped about two pounds of fiesl
from the leg of an electrician VIII,
strayed too near The incident is sal,
to have reached the ears of the Presi
dent, and a man from Sycamore Hill
has just taken the nations most ia
nous dog away from Washington in
cage. bound for the nations summe
capital.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1907-07-30

1t is not wholly in "ways that are
dark and tricks that are vain that
the heather Chincc is peculiar" as
related by Bret Hartc. The story
comes from Washington of a Chinaman
who was long successful business
man in that city At length he met
rcverscs and failed. owing about $1,000
more than he could pay. He went
back to China 10 years ago, and re-
Gently died. Before his death bust
ness had improved with him, and he
died with money enough to pay all
debts. He left with his relatives a
memorandum of the names of those
he owed, and the amounts, and they
promptly sent the money for distribu-
ton among the creditors in America.
Would the average American. doing
business in China or anywhere else for
that matter. have been as honest as
that?
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1907-07-30
BORN.
KNOX.


Rocklan1, July 16, to the wife Of Alden
G. Merrifield. daughter; to the wife Of
Fred E. Harding. daughter. s-Ea
Friendship, to the wife of Walter Wot-
ton. twin Sons
Rnckport. to the wife Of G. M. Poland,
son. 80 81 u sfs
sPISCATAQUIS. :
Fcxcroft. July 20. to the wife Of f16ff2
GOodine. q daughter; July 81, to the VIA
OF Ora M. Sawyer. son.
!. - = SOMERSET.
Lerone. July ls. to the wife,of irving
Stoyooln, son. ~ H. ~ - :
Fitsshed July 20. to the wife Of Len,uei
s7GoTtpn, a daughter. 80 ssss
= -N0fyh Anscn, July 20, to the wits Of
EJuHn Peters, a son f-
Hlmpra. July II. to the wife OF Alex
ldef Vandestine, son; July IL. to the
wife of Iinnie Goodrich, daughter
Pittsfeld. July Is, to the wife of La
mont Burbank, a son.
WALDO.
Palermo Center. July "a, to the wife OF
Fred r. Brown. a son.
Belfast, July ). to the wife of Ebenezer
ESnor, son. Arthur Leslie.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1907-07-30
How a Flea Jumps.

It is said that d flea leaps two hum
dred times its height, and while it usual
~ does land on it's feet, it often falls,
especially when it falls on a perfectly
smooth surface where the claws can get
only a slight hold.
a flea has six legs, whose great length
and bulk make them so heavy that they
must he Il great help in keeping their
owEcr right size up when it makes one
of .ltose gigantic jumps, and when 1t
lards upside down, or in some other way,
its ability to kick is So great. that not
more than one wissle Is needed to set
things right.
A flct's wings are mere scales, and Of
no use: but small and worthless as they
are, they tell the entomologist some .bjng
about the proper classification of the
insect. To the flea itself they have no.
val-.,.- St. Nicholas. 49,
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1907-07-30
The Verdict in Idaho.

After celebrating 20 hours that
Idaho jury reached the conclusion that
the case against William D. Haywood
had not been proved beyond the pos
sibility of a doubt and accordingly as
bound by their oaths and by the in
structions of the Judge, they brought
in a verdict of not guilty. AS the case
against the other two prisoners, meyer
and Pettibone is presumably much the
same as that which the government
had against Haywood, it seems inn
possible that they will be convicted
when the first of the trio has been set
i free. Judging from the newspaper
accounts of the closing scenes of the
| trial it was the unexpected which hap
pened when the verdict of not guilty
| returned The long delay in reaching
| a verdict and an undefinable something
| which was in the air led even Hay
wood and his lawyers to feel that the
verdict was against them.
1t is a matter Of congratulation that
the jury was able to reach an agree
rnent and that it's deliberations did not
result in a failure to agree as has so
often been the case in trials attracting
great public attention and involving
great expense. Nobody will question
the fact that Haywood was given
perfectly fair trial. Before the YER
dict was returned. Haywood, his rela-
tives and his lawyers all agreed that
there had been fair play from Begin
ming to end. and at every stage of the
proceedings Judge Wood made evident
his determination that the prisoner
should have the full benefit of every
doubt which might be legally exercised
in his behalf.
The trial has given the world the
needed. that an American jury In the |
midst of an almost unparalleled pas
sion and prejudice both for and
against the man on trial. can bring in |
verdict which takes into cOnsidcra- |
ton nothing but the law and the evil |
dence. However impressed the men, |
bers of the jury may have been by Or
ohard's grewsome confession of MUIR |
der and conspiracy, they gave strict |
heed to the charge of Judge Wood |
that they should not give any weight !
to this confession unless fully con- |
WINGED that it had been absolutely cor |
The acquittal of Haywood is great |
victory for the able lawyers who de-
Tended him, but the trial can hardly |
be of assistance to the Western Fed
Grafton Of Miners which was on trial as
well as the prisoner at the bar. The
of the case were such that
no officer or member of that organiza-
ton will venture to claim that it's |
have been vindicated by the
publicity given them. Though Hay
wood and his fellow officers of the
federation go free. it is assured that
the future efforts of the organization to
win recognition and to enforce de-
rnands will be less bloody and strcnu-
GUS than those of the past.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1907-07-30
Maine Gossip
A July Jingle.


wo asl, forgiveness for the things we
said of freezir' May.
For it's now too hot, believers, for hol-
Icrin' lOOray!
Feel like we want harricane to blow
us all away
Where the iccbergs are the mountains
of the nlOrnin'!
We're regrettin' that we grumbled at a
bIizzard-breeZe in June,
When the daises had the shivers an
the world was out o tune;
Oh we'd like breeze to blow us t.
the cold side O the moon.
Where the icebergs are the mountains
OF the mOrnin'!
We growl an Growl forcver-On the hill-
top, in the glen;
To the tlessin's kind that come to us
we seldom say Amen
If we strike a hot here CATER, may the
good Lord sent us then
Where the, iccbcrgs arc the mountains
of the n,ornin'!
Atlanta Constitution.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1907-07-30

Mr.. Fl. r. Burrill, special agent of
the department of commerce and
labor. has arrived home after a year
spent in exhaustive study of trade
conditions from the American point Of
view In Australasia. He reports that
our trade in that section of the world
Is exceedingly popular and rapidly
growing. and that with better shipping
facilities it can be built up to much
larger proportions. Our apple trade
In particular. he reports to be growing
very rapidly there and to be still in its
infancy. We also have a large and
growing trade in machinery, boots and
shoes. and in fact almost every kind
or American manufactured goods.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1907-07-30
WatervilIs Notes.

George w. Dorr, the enterprislng orus-
gist. has lust received large stock OF
Hyomei, the greatest cure for catarrh.
With every outfit he gives signed suaI
antee to refund the money II hyc'no'
does not benefit. This Is the famous N
halation treatment that cures catarrn
without stomach dosing and - the o"s
ruaranteei cure for the disease.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1907-07-30

Herr Behel. the leader of the Ger
man socialists who has just inherited
fortune of 100000 marks, absolutely
of it with his followers, and yet in do
ing even this much he has broken all
previous records. Men who preach
socialism rarely practice it in case
prosperity comes their way
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1907-07-30

The man who recently called at
oyster Bay and declared himself to be
the devil was q reckless falsificr."
He was merely a poor imitation Of
him. Still. the authorities there con-
Imitation of his alleged home.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1907-07-30
Pointed Paragraphs.

Friendship resembles wine-the older
the better.
Women with pretty teeth will laugh al
a stupid joke.
A missing suspender button often
leaves a man in suspense.
One of the first duties of Christian
is 10 learn to smile.
But the bnsy miller doesn't kick be.
cause life is a continuous grind.
Pessimists ase seldom as tired Of thi
world as the world is of them.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1907-07-30

The report is gaining circulation that
life insurance companies contemplate
an advance of rates to people using
ACCOMPLISHMENTS Republican.
What about the rates for the other
people who use the highways fire.
quentcd by automobiles?
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1907-07-30

The Russians are reported to be
building more warships in the Baltic
yards. but 1t must be remembered that
the government was trife shy in this
respect at the close of its war with
Japan and it is safe to assume that
they are not intended for service in
eastern waters.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1907-07-30

An elephant Is reported to have eaten
$3.50 in bills belonging to a bridal
couple. If they had bought a few
peanuts for him it would have been a
good investment.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1907-07-30

Several million of Uncle Sans
nephews and nieces are grateful for
the promise that his postal cards will
be less like pieces of blotting paper in
the future.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1907-07-30

Kisses are as much of a necessity
as desserts" declared Rev. w. A.
Quayle, at a big Methodist camp
meeting at Des PLANES, Illinois. 81
would" he added, throw away a bis
cult any time for kiss" The
chances are. however, that he is. eat
Ing biscuits.