davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-08
A hypothetical Question.

Miss de Smythe." began the young
man. Il want TO ask you Hypothetical
question"
The girl nodded assent.
IF n young man of good family ant
sound health and an assured income
of 5000 were to meet the most charm
ing Of girls and feed her ice cream for
Il year; If she had "A complexion like Il
rose, hair n crown Of golden glory, the
hand of II fairy, the hcaring of II
queen; If she knew how not To play the
piano WAS yersed In cooking. coinpe-
tent 10 supcrlntcnd home and II the
young man. auspiciously catching the
young girl alone, We're to murmur into
her ear of pearl, win you marry meY'
what In your estimation, would he her
condition of mind and what her an
swcrl"
"Whilc not IN expert alienist." re
sponded the girl coyly, Il think she'd
believe him n clltmp for being SO slow
but she'd say Yes. "
With the preliminaries thus settled
the naming of the day was simple
matter Philadelphia Ledger
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-08
No Wonder tho Son Was Surprised.

A mclOdrama was some years since
played in certain theatcr. the chief
actor IN which had made himself from
his oyerbearlng conduct, dIsliked by
one and all Iii the last scene he was
supposed 10 visit the tombs of his an
cestors. In the center Of the stage,
upon II marble pedestal, stood the stat
ne Of his father. a heavy fold of dra
per covered the figure.
Enter Albert "Oncc again." he says,
'let me gaze upon those features which
In life so often beamed with tenderest
affection. Father, thy mourning son
now comes TO pny thee reverence. Let
me remove the veil which from vulgar
gaze shields the image of once dear
parent"
The drapery fell aside, and, behold,
the father stood upon his head, The
effect cannot be described. II was
electric The shouts Of laughter which
followed effectively put an end to the
scene, which changed to the next as
quickly AZ possible amid the braves of
the audience. the anger OF the manager
and the uncomfortable rage of the
motor London Tit Bits.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-08
Bees Faster Than Pigeons.

1t Is not generally known that bees
are swiftcr in flight than pigeons TINT
Is. for short distances. Some years ago II
pigeon fancicr of Ilamme, Wcstphala,
hid n wager that n dozen bees liberat
ed three miles from their hive would
reach home In less time than dozen
pigeons. The competitors We're given
wing nj Rybern, II village nearly n
league from IIammc, and the first bee
reached the hive quarter of IL minute
In advance of the first pigeon. Three
other bees reached the goal before the
second pigeon. The bees were also
slightly handicapped, having been roll
ed In -four before starting for purpose
Of Identification
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-08
BUSINESS SUCCESS.
Don't Try to Be a General and a Pri
vate at the Same Time.

vate at the Same Time.
When You are 80 buried in the de
tail of your business that You cannot
get Il clear. sharp view of your affairs
In all their relations. you are In danger
OF failure
No great general ever takes u gun
and goes with his soldiers into the
thick OF the fight, where he would be
So stunned by the noises and 80 blind
ed by the smoke of battle that lie could
moi watch the movements of the en-
emy could not see where his own
troops needed endorsements or how
To lIurl his forces on the weakest place
IN the encmy's ranks He must 20
where he can watch every movement
of the armies
If yon are going to be general in
business, you must keep where You can
get II clear view of your affairs and
know what Is going on. everywhere.
While yen are buried in detail your
business may be in II dangerous posi-
ton, from which YOU could extricate II
if you knew the exaet situation.
Many n man falls III trying To be IA
general and Il private nj the same
time-O. S Marden in Success Maya
zine
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-08
LEGAL TENDER.
The Status of Coin, Bank Notes, Gov
eminent Notes and Checks.

! no STATUS OF Coin, BANK Notes, nov
eminent Notes and Checks.
Unless an agreement is made the ON
ly payment known 10 the law is cash.
Primarily cash Is gold or silver Gold
Is n legal lender for everything. sill.
yer coins except the dollar, are n legal
tender for the amount of $40 only and
the minor coins. the five aud one cent
pieces, to the amount Of - cents.
There are many kinds of paper mon
ey. Only one can be used in making n
legal tender In all payments, the notes
issued by the United States govern
mcnt and commonly called legal tender
notes. National bank notes are II legal
tender To the government, but are not
Il legal tender In payment of debt by
one individual 10 another.
check Is not IN absolute payment
Of nm obligation II Is no better than
note. and n note Is not money. Most
obligations, however. are settled by
check. The receiver has II distinct duty
to perform. He must present the cheek
within n reasonable time To the bnnl,
on which II Is drawn. Should he carry
II i'll his pocket for several months and
In the meantime the bank should fail
he would be the loser New Yerl
Press
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-08
Evolution In liuhtinu.

The candle and lamp, the gaslight,
the electric Hight these are the steps
which mark the development of the
lamp. And how marvellous a growth 1t
ness, In the beginning II piece of wood
burns with II dull flame aud fills the
dingy wigwam or cave with SCOT and
smoke Now nj the pressure of II but
ton the house Is filled with II Hight that
rivals the Hight Of day, with not par
ticle of smoke or scot or harmful gus.
Are there to be further triumphs IN the
art Of lghtingf Are we To have n light
that shall drive ont the electric light 2
Time only can tell st. Nicholas.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-08
Cats.

A cat may plr ana pur and be =
villain. Once let the cuisine fall bcloc
the proper mark and off goes the I'm
grateful but shrewd animal to stop
better. That Is The keynote Of the fe
line character, shreWdncss. II Is the
human traits in their characters which
nuke men call cats selfish The motto
Of the cat Is business Is business" If
a man takes this us his motto and acts
up to II. we call him Il successful man,
and we allow him to write absurd es
says on "IIints to Young Lads" and
so On, IN our papers. But we dt not
honor the cat.-London Express
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-08

Bloodthirsiy, vindlctiec. treacherous,
crafty. scorntul of suffering. brave un-
To death when at bay more cunning
on the trail. the Indian has proved
more than Il match for the whites In
the jungle. II Is certain that more
whites than savagcs have persisted In
forest fighting But In II set battle the
red man Is without stendfastncss and
perseverance. The least reverse dis
heartens him. After the first mad rush
his purpose wanes, and the slightest
check Is apt 10 dIspirlt his cnprielous
mind Lynn Tcw Spfague In Outing
Magazine
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-08
Had He That2

On one occasion In an English court
n prisoner WIS brought In for sentence
who had been convicted of being a
common gambler lie appeared in Il
loud checked yellow and black suit,
with rod nrCktie and Il large paste dia
mond horseshoe pin. The judge from
under his beetling brows looked fierce
~ down upon him from the bench and
remarked with intense scorn, II sen
tence you 10 pay II fine Of $50
That's all right. judge" interrupted
the gambler nonchalantly thrilsting his
hand into his trousers: got It IN my
pants pocket
land 10 three years and SIX months
In state prison continued his honor,
with Il slight twinkle IN his eye. "Have
you got that in your pants pocket p
Bellman
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-08
A painter,s Odd Waua.

Alfred Hunt was at the same time
both n very slow and n fastidiously
punctllious sketcher from nature, Il
combination which Is said to have has
tened his end for he had block for
every hour of the day and every con
dItion.of weather, and, overladen with
these. he would often trudge n lengthy
distance to his work He would then
start, say, on an incomplete morning
effect In sunshine, to be east aside for
similar subject In shadow If the
scene clouded over or for MONDAY
one directly That hour was reached. II
il said that he consequently sometimes
carried ms many as dozen varieties
of the same view. st James Gazette.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-08
CARD GAMES.
The Earliest Played In England Were
Imported From Spain.


imported From Spain.
Spain is generally believed to have
sent us our first card games lei hom-
bre. or "the man" corrupted by us
into "ombre," was probably our earli-
est card game in England, and that
must have come from Spain, Also the
oldest packs of cards found In England
show Spanish symbols. such as cupus,
maces and swords. Another popular
English card game In the sixteenth
century NILS trump, clearly Il form of
the Spanish game triumfo.
Cards could he bought IN l5I5 for
twopenee n pnck. These We're very
wretchcd specimens and most inferior
to those produced by the Gurdmakers'
company of London In which Charles
|. created n monopoly, with the finan-
cial genius of his raee, by buying them
up cheap and selling them Mt high
price. In this he WAS II more open
rogue perhaps than his father, who
forbade card playing In Scotland and
INDUCED In II himself ut every oppor-
tunity.
Cards have always been royal
game. Queen Elizabeth played cards
and lost her temper over them fire.
quently. She was no Anne of Austria,
To play like Il queen without passion
of greed or gain" In her reign was
commanded TO he played ut Wynd-
sore Coincide or Moral devised on II
game OF the Cardcs," which resulted In
the performance by the children Of her
majesty's chapel of Alexander and
Campaspc," In which the pretty lines
occur
Cupid and Campaspc played
Al cards for kisses. cupid paid.
london Chronicles
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-08
THE LOG JAM.
Quick and Sure Must Be the Workers
When 1t Goes Out.

Quick and Sure Must Be the Workers
When 1t Goes Out.
Log jams are not an abnormal part
of the riverman,s work, as most people
suppose. but II regular incident of the
days business. In the breaking of
them the jam crew must be quick and
sure. know of no finer sight than the
going out Of a tall jam. The men pry.
heavc and tug sometimes for hours
Then all at once the apparently solid
surface begins to creak and settle. The
men 2igzag rapidly To shore. A crash
and spout of waters mark where the
first tier is already topping into the
current The front melts like sugar
A vast, formidable movement agitates
the brown tangle as far rs you can see
and then with another sudden and
mighty crash the whole river bursts
Into n torrent of motion
If everything has gone well, the men
ARE NIL safe ashore, leaning on their
peavies. but ready nj any instant to
hasten ont for the purpose of dlscour
aging by quick, hard work and tend
eney 10 plug ON the part of the moving
timbers | hive seen men out of bra
vado Jump from the breast of II jam
Just ns IL WIS breaking down to II float
Ing log ahead thus 10 be carried In the
| sweep and rush far down the river. A
single slip meant death. Stewart Ed
ward White In Outing Magazine.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-08
LEARNING TO SHOOT.
A Simple Rifle Target and the Way to
Practice


Practice.
The first moving target that | would
recommend Is one that IL simplicity II
self and yet. with the assistance of II
gentle slipping hill and friend to take,
turns with You. Will be of great value
and benefit. one of the most success
full deer hunters | knew trained this
way, and You will readily see the good
points of this practice on trial of 1t
Secure half II dozen barrel heads for
your partner. Have him take a posi-
ton al the top of the hill and roll these
heads down the slope diagonally At
first II will he best to select II fairly
smooth slope and have the targets roll
ed down al II medium rate. At fifty
To seventy five yards take your posi-
ton, according 10 your gun aud am
munition. If 1t Is IL ~, IA somewhat
smaller target might he used at n little
shorter distance. At your signnl on,
of these targets Is started on It's Jour
ncys As II starts bring the gun tn
the shoulder. taking aim and swinging
with the moving object Always aim
TO hit the center of the object You
will find that the eye naturally seeks
the center, Just AZ 1t IL nature for on,
to see the front sight through the cen
ter of the peep DO not attempt t.
hold your gun ut II point the tnrgel
Will pass aud try 10 pull the trigger
while II passes, but pull when the aim
has been secured lust as when firing
n stationary object Cutters Book
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-08
Style In Writinn.

We cannot all be Macaulays, but we
can greatly Improve our style by close
~ observing his and that of equally
notable writers, by being careful to
avoid using 'tlowcry" which are In
variably weak sentences and by not
Initiating the great Dr. Johnson. who,
content 10 use Saxon words at once
pure and forciblc IN conversation. gen
orally resortcd with a pen In his hand.
to those long Latin forms which his
soul loved q. G. Williams In London
Captain
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-08
Absit Onenl

Abslt omen, May the omen be
away Suppose n Roman sncezc1, Il
premonltion Of sudden death Prompt
~ he murmured abst omen, a prayer
that the omen might pass away from
him, II was a simple prophylactic
measure Of much the same value as the
crossed fingers or the rap of the
knuckles on wood In our present day
avoidance Of the ever menacing hoo
doc. most salutnry practices which II
would be II pity to forget New York
Sun
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-08

Robson You look all broken mp, old
man. What's the matter?
Craik | called on Miss pruyn last
night, and no sooner had ! entered the
parlor than her mother appeared and
demanded TO know my Intentions.
"Jhat must have been rather eIHbar-
rnssing
"Ycs but that was not the worst
Just Ms the old lady finished speaking
Miss pruyn shouted down the stairs,
Mamma. nanmn. he Isn't the oner -
London IN Bits
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-08
His Ancestors,

An Irish gentleman was recently at
tended by an eminent London physl
clan, who, pnuslng and looking at hin
with an lnqnirng glance, said;
II should like To know, sir, II youi
family have been long liyedf'
Long lived. Is ~" responded the
patient thoughifnlly. well, doctor
I'll lust tell you how II H. our family
IS n west of Ireland family, and thu
age of my ancestors depended entirely
on the Judge and Jury who tried them. ;
Strand Magazine.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-08
Valuable Conch Shell.

There ARE evidently II number OF
mysterious properties about the conch
shell in Its relation to Indian religious
rites and ceremonies that require In
vestigation. For instance, u conch with
Its splrals twisting to the right Instead
OF to the left Is supposed to be worth
Its weight In gold. Some years ago Il
conch of that description was Offered
for sale in Calcutta with reserve
price Of Il lac of rupees placed on 1t.
1t was eventually bought in for $4,000.
--Allahabad Pioneer,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-08
The Arctic Has Attractions

II cannot imagine said the woman
with the short sleeves, why In the
world Esklmos live In their country
after they have learned what is to be
had and seen IN civilized places. Just
think, They have no theaters, no no
tells, no trains, no street cars, no shops,
no schools, no churches, no clubs, no
yachts, no scandals they positively
have nothing that we have"
POSSIBLY that is the reason they
stay where they are" yentured the
man with the dinner jacket.-Judge.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-08
a Pair Of Them.

Mrs Tucker Tommy. | wish you
wouldn't play with that Flango boy
any more.
Tommy Gee. I'm only playin' with
him because his mamma told him that
II he had anything more to do with
that Tucker boy she'd spank him. Chi
cago Tribune
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-08
Efficient Work.

When viii we learn that II Is not the
number OF hours we work. but the ELI
cheney Of the work done, that countsf
Many Of MS would accomplish much
effective work when the mind Is fresh
and resolrcelul than we could accom-
plish In an entire day with the whole
system out Of tune. Success Magazine
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-08

10 Be Exact.

Jane. asked Mrs. Hiram Often,
"are the eggs boilingf'
Most assuredly not, madam" re
piled the new servant, lately from Bos
ton, but may safely say the water
IN which the eggs are Immersed is
Philadelphia Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-08

Wil1ies Reasoning.

Willie Papa. If was twins would
you buy the other boy a banana too
Pnpa Certainly, my son Willie We'll
pap you surely Amt going 10 cheat
me out Of another banana Just cause
I'm nll In one piece
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-08
Accounted For.

1.-THE baby's awful bald" said Mabel.
they had hair they'd pull 1t all out. and
then all that hair would be wasted,
said Tommy. Philadelphia Record
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-08
Iha Chanue.

"You certainly look better. You
must have followed my advice and
had change"
Eyes doctor. so | have"
"Where did you goT'
II went to another physician"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-08
One Better.

First Child our baby can say
Papa" Second Child with lofty SUI
perlorltyj our parrot can say papa"
and papa's swear words too Los An
geles Herald.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-08
The Real Problem.

Miss Smith has written n problem
novel, hasu't She"
yes"
"What Is the problem =
"How 10 make II sell Life
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-08
A Chatty Old Lady.

The following advertisement appears
In fashionable English newspaper:
'Lonely lady wishes to exchange scan
dial with another. Replies required only
from those In the best society,""
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-08

PARTIAL CONTENTS FOR THIS MONTH
Course in English for the Beginner.
Course in English for the Advanced
Pupil.
How to Increase Ones Vocabulary.
The Art of Conversation.
Should and Would: How to use Them.
Pronunciations Century Dictionary.
Correct English in the Home.
Correct English in the School.
What to Say and What Not to Say.
Course in Letter Writing and Punctu-
alton.
Alphabetic list of Authorizations.
Business English for the Business Man.
Compound Words; How to Write
Them.
Studies in English Literature.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-08
Executive Ability.

Little james Father. what is execu-
tive ability? His father The faculty
OF earning your bread by the sweat Of
other peoples brows, my sou.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-08

"There's one thing l viii say" re-
marked Mr. Millions, and that Is that
my daughter, Arabella. has fine dis
position
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-08

Every one Is bound to bear patiently
the results of his own example,, Phae.
drug
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-08
Her Self Control.

Men Of understanding are instructed
by reason. the Ignorant by necessity
and beasts by nature Cicero
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-08
"Illdepsl,'i

"Yes, sir. The way she can listen for
hours to her own playing on the violin
shows remarkable self control"
The Irish standard., 1907-05-25
Boar With the Child.

The qualities which are the most
attractive in childhood are not by any
means the most valuable in maturity.
We look for determination, will, de-
cision of character, flrmness in the
man, and refuse him our respect If he
have them not, but when the child
exhibits these qualities, even in their
incipient stages, we are annoyed and
perhaps repulsed. Instead of rejoicing
in his strength Of will and building 1t
into right channels, we lament 1t as
a. grievous fault in him and a misfor-
tune to US. 1t is the meek and yield
ing child who cares not to decide any
thing for himself in whom we delight
and whose feeble will we make still
feebler by denying it all exercise. Yet
when he grows up and enters the
world and yields to temptation. and
perhaps disgraces himself and family.
we look at him in inbecile wonder
that so good a. child should have
turned out to be so bad man, when
in truth his course has been only the
natural outcome Of his past life and
training.
The Irish standard., 1907-05-25
Willing to Learn.

my boy" said the editor of the
Billsville Bugle to the new reporter,
"you lack caution. You must learn
not to state things as facts until they
are proved facts; otherwise you are
very apt to get us into libel suits.
: 20 not say. the cashier stole the
funds;' say the cashier who is alleged
to have stolen the funds That's all
now, and-ah-turn in stickful about
the Second Ward Social last night"
Owing to an influx Of visitors it was
late in the afternoon before the genial
editor Of the Bugle caught glimpse
of the great family daily. Halfway
down the social column his eyes lit
on the following cautious paragraph:
1T is rumored that card party was
given last evening to number of
reputed ladies in the Second Ward.
Mrs. Smith, gossip says. was the
hostess, and the festivities are report.
ed to have continued until 10:30 in
the evening. It is alleged that the af-
fair was social function given to the
ladies Of the Second Ward Cinch Club,
and that with the exception of Mrs.
James Bilwiliger who says she comes
from Leavits Junction, none but mem
bers were present. The reputed hostess
insists that coffee and waters alone
were served as refreshments.
"The Smith woman claims to be the
wife of John Smith. the so-called
Honest Shoe Man Of 315 East State
street."
Shortly afterwards 'whirling mass,
claiming to be a reporter on the Bugie.
flew fifteen feet into the street and
landed with what bystanders assert
was a dull, sickening thud.