davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The daily morning journal and courier., 1907-04-11
BUT1ER's TRYING EXPERIENCE
Through it All He Managed to Main-
 tain a Dignif1ed Appearance.


 tain Dignified Appearance,
 The talk had turned on British but lers-most solemn and majestic of functionaries-and lady present rela- ted her experience as girl at dinner party in London. Her nelghbor at ta- be was a famous man, of whom she stood so much in awe that she found herself unable to converse with him and sat silent and uncomfortable, vexed at her own shyness, yet unable to overcome it. Dinner was half over, says the Youths Companion, when she chanced to lift her eyes to tilted mir TOT on the wall and beheld a spectacle otherwise invisible to the guests.
 Half way down the long table sat a very great lady, aged and deaf the grandmother of the hostess, and little beside and behind her chair was posted the family butler, whose duty it was on such occasions to repeat into her trum- pet such scraps of conversation as he could catch and answer her questions concerning anything that was going on.
 She was far too deaf for conversa- ton at table with strangers, but Null lins' deep familiar tones, even when whispered, she could understand.
 At the moment when the young American looked up to Mullins, ito the eyes of the company, showed as a com posed and stately being, respectfully bent toward the trumpet of Lady Blank. But the treacherous mirror re- fected a rear view of different effect.
 A very young and harmless puppy had somehow slipped into the dining room, and with futile but distracting ferocity was worrying first one and then the other of poor Mullins silken calves.
 With surreptitious kicks and shakes the unfortunate man, cleverly preserv- ing his dignifed appearance above the level of the table, would endeavor to fling aside the joyous enemy, who would roll away few feet unharmed and gleefully return to the attack. At last in a specially vigorous effort Null lins shed a shoe, which the puppy promptly seized and ran away with.
 The American girl. shaking with mirth, quietly called the attention of her distinguished neighbor to the scene in the looking glass and they watched it together with breathless interest to it's close.
 Her shyness was banished by the time they had laughe1 out their laugh together, and the great man, recover ing his breath, pronounced the issue a drawn battle.
 "The enemy is driven from the field; but he departs with trophy"
The daily morning journal and courier., 1907-04-11
SAVAGE FILIPINo TRIBE.

There is one wild wariike tribe in the Philippines that has stubbornly refused for centuries to become attracted or assimilated by the Christian inhabl- tands.
 These people are known as the Hon. gots and are found in the mountains near Baler, says the Manila American. This tribe comes within the jurisdic- ton of Tayabas, and according to Governor Quezon's report there is one section north of Dagcan inhabited by these people where no Christian has ever penetrated and where the sover- eighty of Spain or the United States has never been acknowledged. Cover nor Quezon says;
 "The Hongots are found only in the mountains of Baler, from Dipaculan, Dirabasin and Dinadianan to lsabela, toward the north and from the moun- tains of San Jose de Casigaran as far as Pantabangan and Carrangalan, to- ward the west.
 "They are ferocious race, always on the lookout for an opportunity to kill the inhabitants of every other settle ment.
 The road between Pantabangan and Baler is wont to be the scene of these attacks on the part of these infdels on Christian F'illpinos
 During the time of Spanish govern ment troops were wont to be sent to the mountains to punish the Ilongots when they assassinated Christian Fili- pinos, and then the former would ei- ther surrender or remain quiet for some time paying a tax of twenty-five centlmos for each male inhabitant over eighteen and under fifty, collectible in tobacco leaves as they had no money
 Then their local authorities were appointed from among their number. Practically, however, these authorities appointed by the Spanish government were never acknowledged or recognized by the inhabitants of each settlement, those really recognized as such being the leaders whose valor and great fero- city inspired terror in all others The Ilongots of San Jose, Dipaculan, Diara- basin and Dagcan were the ones sub- jugated by the Spanish and as no Christian has ever been there their number cannot be estimated, but it Is known that they are more numerous than the Ilongots who were subjugated from the information given by the lat ter.
 Their Waryike arms are the arrow, the campilan Ca wire bolo, very light and well sharpened, about two and a half hanf-breadths in length) and the lance. Their decisive arm is shield three feet long by one foot wide, called calasag.
 "Their attacks are always character ized by treachery, they lie in wait in the brush and ambush their victims from their hiding place they use their lances and when wounded dispatch their enemies, taking their heads and leaving the body where it fell. The | head is carried away and preserved as a trophy of war, feast being celebra- l ted upon the arrival of the head at | their settlement.
 For an Hongot to marry it is neces- sary that he first bring the number of l heads of Christians or infidels that his future father-in-law may designate, which heads must have been cut off | by the suitor himself"
The daily morning journal and courier., 1907-04-11
GRANT. THE uNAss1TM1NG.

Grant and sherman were the only
 officers of high rank I ever met who did not charge tho atmosphere about
 them with military consequence. While at City Point I frequently joined my friends of Gen. Grants staff, Porter,
 Babcock, Billy" Dunn, and others, at his headquarters The general, in un- dress uniform, always neat but not fastldious in appointments, would sit at the door of his tent, or sometimes
 on one of the long settees that faced
 each other under the ten-f1y, smoke, listen, and sometimes talk; and not a soul of us from the youngest to the
 oldest ever had thought of rank. Without lowering his manner to the level of familiarity, he put every one at his ease by his natural simplicity.
 He had none of the caprices of moods
 or vanity. Quiet in his presence and
 natural in his manner, gentle in voice,
 of absolute purity in speech, of unaf-
 fected, simple dignity, Grant threw a
 charm over his campfire. West Point never graduated man who added so
 little austerity or pretence to the peak .of fame.-Gen. Morris Schaff, in the Atlantic.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1907-04-11

On the same evening 1t is customary to have a dinner party at the palace, and a gala performance at the Royal Opera or state theater. For this all the men appear in full uniform or state dress and all the ladies in full evening dress. All wear any orders to which they may be entitled, and there is a wonderful display of the Spanish his torical jewels, for which the ladies of the country are noted. Many of these, as well as much of the lace of mantil- las and robes, date from the fifteenth and sixteenth centuries.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1907-04-11
One Man fto anotherl-You seem re

One Man (to another)-You seem re- markedly glad that your mother-in- law is coming to you for a four weeks visit. Other Man--Yes. indeed Then can send my wife to her for a six weeks -Meggendorfer Blaetter
 After asking a great many ques- Jions of lady, a barrister felt that some apology was necessary, so he re- marked; 'I really hope I don't annoy you with all these questions?"
 Not at all," answered the lady quietly. "Tm used to it, I have six year-old son. n."-Philadelphia Inquirer
The daily morning journal and courier., 1907-04-11

Do you know anything about. the poetical fire?" asked the interviewer. T must confess that I do not" sigh ed the garret bard. "Very few poets can afford fire. Chicago News.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1907-04-11

50 the editor sent your poems back to you,' remarked the sympathetic friend. Yes" replied Woodby Rimes. Any comment?" "Er--yes; he said my handwriting was quite promising. 9 -Philadelphia Press.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-03-17

March is the harlequin of the year;
Many wild, mad prank plays he.
Softly he bends where the ice lies clear
Over the brooks with their dream of
the sea,
Bidding them wake In the name OF
spring,
And, when they break from the frost
kings hands,
He rudey stills the glad song they sing,
Binding them fast with his icy bands.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-03-17
Taking it Easy.

One December day of last year
stopped at district schoolhouse on Long
Island to make some inquiries Of the
teacher, and found her engaged on some
sewing and the dozen scholars playing
around out doors. In reply to my queries
she explained:
1.-THE school board has some little mis-
understanding between themselves, and
until 1t is settled we are taking things
easy"
rs the Misunderstanding seriousT" l
asked.
mot so very. taught the children that
the Island of jamaica was In the Carib-
bean Sea, and the moderator has an idea
that it's In the Caspian. He has gone up
TO Brooklyn to find out. taught the chill
dren that the world reYolves on Its axis
once In "a hours. One of the directors
thinks | am an hour of, and he's gone
up to Brooklyn to see about II. ! taught
the children that the Amazon River was
ia South America but the other director
TANKS it's in China, and has gone up
to Brooklyn TO see about II.
"And you are letting things go while
they satisfy themselyesr
Yes. / did start In to teach the chill
dren during the interval that II farmer
sold two cows for $50 apiece and two
sheep for $4 each, he got S6S In all for
what he sold, but a tin peddler came
along and advised me not to get into any
trouble while waiting, and so we are
holding q sort OF picnic. You keep right
on this road to get to saybrook.
JOE KERR,
Los Angeles herald., 1907-03-17
NOT IN THE BUSINESS

"Gentlemer. the town needs revival
and l should be with the movement heart
and soul but for one thing. l am claim.
ing a circulation Of 1900 copies"
"WellT' was queried.
"The actual figures are only 300. 4
claim the rest In order to beat the Ga
zette, and as liar 1t would hardly be
consistent for me to mix up with a re-
Iigious revival"
The good men withdrew to visit the
editor of the Gazette, and when they had
come into his presence and stated their
mission he shook his head and replied:
81 wish you nll success, gentlemen, but
1 can't participate. 1 am claiming a cir
culation Of 4,5O0 copies and the real hg-
ures are only $50. l lie because l don't
want that scoundrel of the Clarion to get
ahead of me-"
''But 1t seems to u.s." replied one of the
ministers, that you and Mr.. Bones could
get together and have a talk and both
agree to give the true and exact figures
of your respective circulations."
What After we have been lying for
the last seven yearsi Gentlemen, you are
ministers of the gospel and as such you
are each success, but please excuse me
if / say that as newspaper men you'd
bankrupt every weekly in the state in
side of six weeks. 1 wish you well, and
/ am sure Bones does the same, but we
can't trade today" JOE KERR.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-03-17

But who do they combine with7"
with each other. The object is to get
control of certain things, you see."
"But that don't make 1t clear. For In
stance, l own a hundred hens. I'm the
only man for five miles around who has
eggs to sell. That makes me a trust.
don't it?'
well, yes"
81 jump the price of eggs from 40 to
60 cents a dozen. That's the way a
trust does, eh?"
Exactly"
81 find I'm short on corn, and l go to
Bill Smith and ask what he'll take for
10 bushels. The price is so cents, but he
jumps 1t to 70 on me to meet the price
on my eggs. I'm a trust, but where do
l grind down the people? Where do
amass my riches? When am 1 to be
pinted out as a magnate? Where, sir
where in thunder and lightning and
blazes do my burned old hens put me
ahead of Bill Smith and his burned old
cornfield? I've figgered the blamed thing
over and over till my head aches and
can't make it out. l guess eggs will drop
back to the old price and I'll lay up
riches in heaven instead of on earth"
JOE KERR.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-03-17

other, as he advanced to the bar with
smiling face. Yes, SIR" an earthquake
makes a man as dry as a bone. The cot
ton Is still In my throat. never wanted
a glass of beer so bad in my life. l am
pleased to meet IL man of your perspicac-
lty, sir, and 10y
"Und | vhas sure" interrupted the
bulky man, as he reached down under the
bar and brought up a club, dot If man
vhas an American und Jamaica und Kings
ton, und earthquakes, und dry, und cot
ton, dot he Will he out of my saloon in
two minutes or broke his head. Move up
In front! Step llvcly.' JOE KERR.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-03-17
Jimmie Defines.

Jimmie, you may stand up and tell the
class what a pull Is"
"Yes'm. Ne fadder runs saloon"
"Yes."
DE alderman of de ward backs him"
"Yes"
Along comes big snowstorm and
leaves two feet of de beautiful on dc
sidewalk"
II see."
ut lays dere for two days, and folks
wade through 1t and swear, and den n
copper comes along and orders it cleaned
off. Me fadder smiles and de copper bluffs
and de snow stays right dere. Me fadder
Los Angeles herald., 1907-03-17

''You must have heard of the city of
Kingston?"
Il can't say"
'-But you certainly read of the earth
quake there while agof"
Maybe ! did"
"And you must have read how Governor
Swettenham behaved toward us Amerl-
cans? Why man, there were columns
and columns IA the papers about it.
80? Well, | vhas a very busy man" !"
lone can be busy and still know about
earthquakes. l am surprised that man
OF your intelligence didn't read all there
was TO read"
"Vhell, know one thing for sure" {"
said the saloonist as he finished his la
bors with the cloth. IF dere vhas some
earthquake In Kingston und an American
vhas dere. he Wants a drink awful bad
after 1t vhas all over"
"You are right, sir!" exclaimed the
Los Angeles herald., 1907-03-17
THOSE STRENUOUS BEAR HUGS.
HIS REASON.

Hixon-Tm glad the canal is going
through Panama instead of Nicaragua.
Dixon-Own some building lots in Pam
anna?
HIxon-No; but Panama is so much
easier to spell.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-03-17

March is the harlequin of the year,
Who ev'ry season our faith betrays,
And. though his artifice is clear,
We are deceived by the tricks he play:
He is a creature of change and whim.
Yet we are glad when the rogu
awakes,
For the sweet sisters who follow him
Mend all the broken vows he makes.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-03-17
SURE OF ONLY ONE THING,

You have heard of the Island of ia
maica. of course?'' queried the man as he
entered saloon and backed up to the
stove and addressed the bulky man VINO
was wiping off the bar.
'vhell. don't he sure,' was the reply.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-03-17
~

telephones to de alderman, de alderman
telephones to police headquarters, and
dat copper is transferred for de good Of
de service, and de Fourth Of July comes
along and melts de snow Off OATS what
Los Angeles herald., 1907-03-17
IN THE THEATRE LOBBY.

Mrs. Jinks-Mercy! They are crush
ing the life out of me.
Mr.. Jinks-Stop your kicking. They've
already crushed three 25-cent cigars In
my vest pocket.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-03-17

is called pull. What is called pull-pull
Is de fact dat de alderman and police
headquarters stand up to de bar and
drink what dey want and tell me fadder
to chalk it down. JOE KERR.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-03-17

Mrs. Askitt-What shall do to get rid
of reaches?
Mr.. Tellitt-Rent another house. and
move into 1t while your reaches are
asleep.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-03-17

The ministers in certain town in the
West wanted to organize a religious re-
vival this past winter, and three of them
started out to interview the editors of the
Los Angeles herald., 1907-03-17
HE COULDN'T FIGURE IT.
T1REsoM e JOKES.

i've been reading about them trusts
for five years past" said the old farmer
to the lawyer who occupied seat with
him In the smoking car, but l can't fig-
The silver state news. [volume] (Winnemucca, Nev.) 1907-1909, 1907-11-11
A Boy and a Thousand Dollars.

A New York judge gave his son
$1,000. telling him to 90 to college and
graduate. The son returned at the end
Of freshman year without a dollar and
with several ugly habits. AT the close
of the vacation the judge told his o
that he had done all he could for him.
If he had wasted the money that was
to have taken him through college, he
might as well leave home and make his
own way in the world. 1t was a rude
awakening for the young man, but he
knew that his father was right. And so
strong was the good influence Of his
upright father that he did leave home
to go to work In downright earnest.
He went back to college, made his way
through. graduated at the head of his
class, studied law, became governor OF
the state Of New York, entered the cab
met Of the president of the United
States and made a record for himself
that the country will not willingly let
die. II was William II. Seward.
The silver state news. [volume] (Winnemucca, Nev.) 1907-1909, 1907-11-11
HUNTING MAHOGANY.
II Takes an Experienced Woodsman TO
Locate the Trees.

Mahogany trees do not grow In clus
ters. but are scattered throughout the
forest and hidden In a dense growth
If underbrush. vines and creepers and
require n skillful and experienced
woodsman to find them. He seeks the
highest ground In a forest. climbs to
the top of the tallest tree and surveys
The surrounding country. The mahog-
any has a peculiar foliage. and his
practiced eye soon detects the trees
within sight.
The axmen follow the hunter, and
then come the sawyers and hewers, a
large mahogany taking two men a full
day to fell 1t. The tree has large spurs
which project from the trunk at Its
base. and scaffolds must be erected so
that the tree can be cut off above the
spurs. This leaves a stump ter TO IF
teen feet high. which Is sheer waste,
as the stump really contains the best
lumber.
The hunter has nothing to do with
the work of cutting or removing the
tree, his duty being simply to locate
1t. n he Is clever and energetic. his
remuneration may amount to $500 or
1000 a month. but he may travel
weeks at a time without detecting q
tree. and as he Is generally paid by
results his earnings are rather precari-
ous.-St. Louis Republic.
The silver state news. [volume] (Winnemucca, Nev.) 1907-1909, 1907-11-11
Famous Anaarams.

OF all the e~xtravagances caused by
the anagrammatic fever when many
years ago 1t was at its height, none
comes up to that Of a Frenchman
named Andre Pujom, who. discovering
In his name the anagram Pendu a
Iiiom 0he seat of criminal justice In
the province Of Auvergne), felt bound
to fulfill his destiny, committed a crime
IN Auvergne and was actually hanged
in the place to which the omen point
ed.
Among the papers of William Oldys.
the photographer, was found the fol-
lowing anagram on himself:
In word and will I am a friend to you,
And one friend old Is worth a hundred
new.
The Father Pierre de st. Louis be-
came a Carmelite monk OH finding out
that his lay name, Ludovicus Bar
telemi, gave the anagram Carmelo sc
devovet, and Sylvester, in dedicating a
translation of Du Bartas to his sover-
eign, made the following anagram:
James Stuart-A just MASTER
Minneapolis Journal.
The silver state news. [volume] (Winnemucca, Nev.) 1907-1909, 1907-11-11
FAIRIES IN IRELAND.
A 6oatman's Story Of the Antics o.
the Little People.

Here is a modern fairy story from
Ireland: one day about twenty years
ago." writes a correspondent, Il was
fishing from a boat on Tough Derg.
[ inquired of my boatmen If they had
ever @ fairies. At first. fearing To
be laughed at, they secuted the idea'
but one of them told the following:
ION a Sunday he was returning AFTER
mass and stood with a friend named
Sullivan on the bridge OF killaioe.
Looking toward a potato field on the
slope of the rising ground to the east
of the. town, a field which be was aole
to poAt out from the boat. he saw
issuing from the liss a troop OF httie
people, one being distinctly taller IMAM
the rest. AT first they seemed rather
blurred, then took distinct shapes ana
began to play the national game or
hurley among the bare potato rigs.
He called Sullivan's attention 10 them,
but for some time his friend could not
see them, then said he could. and they
watched the game together for a time.
Then the sun went In. and the FAIRIES,
moving toward the liss, as If return
ing to 1t. vanished. Lisses are rough
places. sometimes hillocks. sometimes
dcpressions. often bushy, but never
cultivated. | have been told they are
left as doorways for the fairies when
visiting the earth's surface. Chicago
Naws
The silver state news. [volume] (Winnemucca, Nev.) 1907-1909, 1907-11-11

about the poles, while from its shiv.
arino loom it weaves the opalescent
tanestry Of the Aurora to hang
ogaiust the black background Of tn.
Arctic night.
1t rouses Nature from her wintes
deep, breaks the icy letters of the
Frost that binds the streams, lifts the
shroud Of snow from off the land
scape. woos the tender mold and bids
tbe birth of bud and blossom dowers
the fewer with perfume and clothes
tbe earth with the verdure of spring.
II rides the swift courses of the
storms that circle round the laid crest
~ Ola Mount Davidson; cleaves IL,
black curtain of the night with cine.
tar Of flame, rouses the lightnines
s,on their couch Of clouds and wakes
the earthquake.
Beneath its touch the beetling crag
which took Omnipotence a thousand
wears to rear, crumbles into dust, the
mere plaything of the idle wind, and
yesterday, where stood the glittering
spire. the shining tower, the frown-
mo battlement, today the cold, gray
ocean rolls in ~undisputed might.
1t gathers the doings OF the day
from the -four corners of the world,
the tales of love and death, Of fire
and food, Of strife and pestilence, and
under eight thousand miles Of SILVER
inc sea whispers the babble of two
hemispheres.
II turns the wheels Of peace where
poor mel toll. and helps the husband.
mand to pillow and plant and reap hi,
whispering grain
it rides the wings of war where
brave men die; and. when ii stalks
between contending boats, exalts the
kinely crest and helps an empire
plant its flag of conqnea..
II CLOVIS in lonely attics WHORE
weary workers toll to earn their
crust. 1t shines Ger scenes where
feet Of f~easters tread the halls of rev
elry. 1t lights the mourners on the
pathway to the tomb. 1t glares IN
haunts where jeweled fingers lift the
cup of pleasure 10 the mouth of sin.
amid the sobbiug Of sensuous music
and the flow of forbidden wine, and
speeding on its way, illumes The dim
cathedral aisle. whore surpliced priest
proelaims the teachings Of the Master,
and golden.throated choirs lift their
Hosannas to the King of Kings.
1t was the Makers ally at the lawn
of time and when Cod from the depths
of infinite space said, "l4.t there be
light it sent the pulse Of life along
Creations veins, baptized Earth 3
cold brow with floods Of fire, and stood
the sponsor of a Graded world.
The silver state news. [volume] (Winnemucca, Nev.) 1907-1909, 1907-11-11
A Fish Story.

"Trout protection! Nonsense said
a gunner of local eminence. Trout
are amply able to protect themselves
Look at their depredations among
ducks, for example, and you will agree
with me that it's the birds that need
protection. It's a common thing for
a trout to jump from the water, seize
a duck by the neck. drag the unfortu-
nate fowl into the depths sufficiently to
leave its feet sticking in the air, where
it "a get no purchase upon the uni
verse, and thus drown it. Then the
trout picks the feathers from the bird,
eats 1t at its leisure and swims away
out Of the jurisdiction Of the courts.
Are there any fishermen? Nonef Too
bad. This would be a match for one
of their fish stories. philadelphia
Record.