The news=record. [volume] (Enterprise, Wallowa County, Oregon) 1907-1910, 1907-10-17
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S-~~~ONSS~S~N~e.
'Why Is Jones growing a beard?"
"Oh, l believe his wife made him Il
present of some ties."-Punch.
'Do you think We should let women
vote?" Certainly. Why not? We let |
them earn money all other Ways
Life.
80 she's about to be married again.
Do you know who is the lucky manT
Yes, the dead one."-Detroit Free
Press.
The Man-None of their relatives
will speak to them since their elope-
ment. The Girl-They ought to be u
very happy couple.-Puck.
81 notice your daughter dances with
such graceful, free movements" "They
amt free; she takes reg'lar paid les
sons. Americas.
Little Girl (after domestic scene
with her mother) The best thing for
us to do, mamma, Is to agree to sep
aration.-T Tales.
Duff-Rowell believes in the eternal
fitnes Of things. Cuff-That's so; he
wouldn't run for car If he had
walking suit on.-Town Topics.
willie Green" said the teacher,
you may define the word memory"
Memory" said Willie, sis what we
forget with" h."-Philadelphia Record.
DO you favor any particular school
Of musc?" asked the lady. "Yes, in
deed" replied the young man who lives
in fiat. IL favor the pianlssimo
hool."-Puck.
Rector (showing stranger the
church monuments)- grandfather
has slept in this church for eighty
years. Stranger-Is he llving?-Yonk-
ers Statesman.
Mrs. Neighbors-Are you aware that
: your new hired girl is somnambulisti
, Mrs. Meadowgrass-My goodness, no
She told me she was Baptist.-Chi'
cago Daily News.
Little Girl (telling Of the Garden OF
. n)-Yes, Mummy, Adam aud Eve
a lived very happily there till the Evi
s One came In the form of a servant
9 Canadian Courier.
First Little Girl-When you grow
! up are you going to advertise for
! husband? Second Little Girl-No; I'm
n going to be a widow. They don't hav
d to.-Harper's Weekly.
Mother-in-L the young mai
y who saved my life yesterday calle'
-. upon you yet? Son-in-Law-Yes, In
4 deed, he has already made his apolo
d gies.-Fliegende Blaetter.
e Clara-You may not believe 1t, bu
n said mo" to seven different me
a during the past winter. Maude-Oh,
= don't doubt 1t. What were they sell
10 ing.-Chicago Daily News.
Mistress-Why don't you boil th
ir eggs! Cook-Sure, I've no clock In th
lie kitchen to go by. Mistress-Oh, ye'
N you have. Cook-What good is 1t? 1t
- ten minutes fast.-Philadelph Ii
m quirer.
"May l ask your father for you
IN hand tonight, Miss Ketchem" Can
10 you wait until tomorrow nigh
10 George? think Charlie Chumpley
10 going to ask him tonight.
,a Plain Dealer.
he Anxious Housewife (startled by
We crash in the room below)-There Al
other of my best porcelain tureer
ed gone. Husband-Never mind, dear;
~ has stopped the cooks singing.-Por
y land Oregonian.
Voice from the parlor-Mary An
2" did you get the milk for the chlldre
mt and Fido In separate bottles? Maj
Ann-Yes, ma'am. The voice-lla'
" Fido's milk sterilized. Mary Ann
Yes. ma'am.-Cleveland Plain Dealer
Geek (who has already wearied Il
nd guests with many songs) Now l WI
ng sing YOU one more song and then ;
home. Lady-Pardon me, but do yt
'r attach much Importance to the ord
p of your ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Blaette
ey "Do you think you will learn to III
is your tilted son-in-law" II dor
mt know" answered Mr.. Cumrox. II car
'm quite tell where to place him In
nd expense account. He Is neither recr
alton nor an Investment. t."-Washin
ton Star.
Mrs. Scrappington Tin the midst