Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1907-01-20
HOTEL MEMS NIGHT OFF

HOTEL MEMS NIGHT OFF
Simeon Ford Grills Guests ali
| New J ork Innkeepers' Feast.
WE HOLD oITY's FATE, HE SAYS i,
II Hotel Men struck, the whole Town
Could BE Put Ont Of Business, He
Declares nj Annual Dinner-Ia Hotel
Business the Only One President
Roosevelt Has Not Tackled, He
Claims.
/ The sheriff, the comptroller, the coun-
| ty clerk and all Of New York's city OH
cials below the rank Of the mayor,
/ who was invited but could not come.
| attended the annual dinner Of the Ho-
1 tel association Of New York at the
\ Waldorf Astoria the other evening, at
1 which Simeon Ford was the principal
speaker, says the New York Times. All
4 the speakers dWeH upon New York as
the home Of Ford, told how the rub
berneck wagons in passing by the
Grand Union hotel referred to it not
as zone Of New York's principal ho-
tells, but as the home OF the after din
ner fascinator, Simeon Ford. One
/ speaker quoted the line. "But civilized
! man cannot live without cooks z and
! said Ford was more important than
/ food.
While the sheriff the assemblymen,
a the Justices Of the supreme court and
/ the heads of the city departments were
i discussing dinner which Mr.. Ford
! said was the best that the hotel men
OF New York could possibly do for
the "sum Of twelve per-" ard while the
\ guests were looking at souvenirs in the
shape Of small elephants, Mr.. Ford was
introduced as the POSTMASTER by the
president Of the association, George G..
Boldt
"Once a year." said Mr.. Ford, eve
\ hotel keepers getlsa chance to eat in
peace. Once a year distinguished or
! ators. who, knock us the balance Of the
4 time, rear up and state that we are
I the elect of the earth. Once year
our guests at twelve per fall upon our
necks and tell us that we are the real
! thing. Once a year our boarders have
to shift for themselves, and their lam
entations fall UNDECIDED on the empty
air. Once a year we have night off,
and tonight's the night. .s5.
Lawmakers are here who would
make it misdemeanor for hotel
man to stay on earth. Clergymen are
here who try to convert us to a better
life over the telephone. Judges are
here who would sentence us to penal
7 seryitude for life if they struck a
tough steak or a warm bottle. In
/ deed, tax assessors are here who
Z would squeeze the last reluctant cent
out Of us, and landlords are here-but
why dwell on painful subject?
"Marketmen are here who demand
4 our gross receipts and more besides.
d And, my friends, reformers are here
who think our sinks of iniquity need
B new plumbing and who want the job.
They are all here, and we're glad to
see them. for with all their faults we
4 love them STILL And the stiller they
are the better we love them.
but, boys, just entire nous. think
/ voice the voice Of the hotel fraternity
when i say that we are the backbone
and the mainstay of this little old
i town. But let us go on strike and
they'd have to shut down the little
\ old town Our industry Is not only al
most the largest in the city, but it is
the one that is absolutely indfspensa-
BILE. Give hotel visitor poor hotel
! accommod ations, and he wouldn't stay
two nights In paradise. Give him no
\ hotel accommoda tions at all, and he
wouldn't go to paradise at all. but
\ would patonize the other place.
Ny friends, in all eandor can say
to you that ours is the only business
I on the, whole globe that President
/ Roosevelt hasn't interfered with. He
hasn't taken a crack at it. He realizes
that even he cannot paint the lily or
1 gid refined gold. z55s
Deal gently with us, therefore, law
! makers, lest we form an unhoiy alli-
! ance and put the metropolis out Of
business. = .5s ..s
MI. Ford's conclusion was greeted
/ with cheers, particularly by the boni-
faces at the tables In the ballroom.
Suppose Sim should close up the
| town." they suggested.
"We'd issue writ OF habeas cor
pus,'' responded the justices.
A Dagger For the Duke.
There recently called to see the
Grand Duke Vladimir in Paris per-
son Of unimpe achable appearance with
il very large bouquet, says the Pail
i Mall Gazette. The visitor desired to
present his salutations and the nose
gay. No objection was raised In the
case Of the former, but he was afnVit-
ed to hand over the floral offering to a
groom Of the chambers. He did SO
with no great adlness, and the groom