Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-08-01
A NEW VIEW OF
BUNKER HILL
BY MAX ADELER

history OF lndt DaLLle, anu ocuuueT
said he was. So Bangs told Scudder
ne would like him to write W little
sketch of it for the anniversary day,
and Scudder said he would try. The
next morning the sketch appeared In
the Argus, and attracted good deal
of attention When Bangs. saw 1t he
called Scudder in and said:
"Mr. Scudder. didn't you tell me you
thought you were familiar with the
battle of Bunker HIP"
Yes, sir"
well, il that is the case I will be
obliged to you If you will mention
to me what you mean when you say:
BY four o'clock the Confederate
troops were ready to make the attsck.
General Washington had the cataps>lts
put in line to await their coming, and,
when Napoleon saw them, he drew
his sword, and exclaimed: Soldiers!
Twenty centuries look down upon
you.
Now, Mr.. Scudder, If you had pos
sessed the most ordinary acquaintance
with that conflict, you would have
been aware that Napoleon was not
present, and that the idea of George
Washington fighting the Confederate
army with catapults is calculated to
excite the derision of educated per-
sons. And wish to direct your at
tention, Mr. Scudder, to another his
torical inaccuracy. At the bottom of
the second column there you say:
mo sooner were the battering rams
leveled against the walls of the castle
than the Duke of Wellington sent
word to his mother by General Butler
that he would either win or be brought
home upon his shield. Then order
ing his men to fire at the whites of
the enemy's eyes, he awaited the on
set with that majestic calmness which
/ ever distinguished the hero of Buena
Vista
Now, don't want to hurt your
feelings, Mr.. Scudder, but really, for
Journalist, this kind of thing won't do.
You certainly must realize that the
battle of Bunker Hill was not fought
in a castle with battering rams; and,
at any rate, when you allude to the
Duke of Wellington communing with
General Butler, and connect him with
Buena Vista, there is actually no hope
of your molding public opinion on
those topics. The public mind is
made up And then a little farther
on, in the next column, you say:
This was the very crisis of the
hof IF
Jackson behind the cotton bales,
dashed at him upon her snow white
charger swinging her ponderous bata-
tle-ax above her head; her fair hair
streamed behind her in the wind. AS
her steed pressed forward, her hair
caught in the bough of tree, and as
she hung there, Sergeant Bates shot
her through the heart with bolt from
an arquebuss. Her last words were,
Don't give up the ship
Nov, you see, Mr.. Scudder, this
kind of thing sets people to talking.
1t hurts the paper. You've got Absa-
lom mixed up somehow in your mind
with Joan of Arc. who died about
10000 years before General Jackson
who wasn't at Bunker Hill, and VIII:
never knew Sergeant Bates any more
than Sergeant Bates knows how to
fire an arquebuss. Arquebuss! Ora
cious Heaven! No doubt you meant
well, but you've about done the bust
ness for us, especially here, where you
say:
1.-THE duke could stand it no longer.
The Mamelukes had slain all of his
vanguard; General Sickles had lost
his leg and retired on a pension; and
the enemy's skirmishers, lodged in
the top of the monument, were pour
ing boiling oil on those who attempt
ed to scale it. Leaping upon his
horse, he shouted, up guards, and at
them!" and the next moment, with
the glorious flag of truce in one hand
and his sword in the other, he hurled
his legions upon the Lava-beds, ans
crushed the savage foe to the earth
killing, among others, the well-known
General Harrison. afterward Presi-
dent of the United States
"The duke! Mamelukes! Flag Of
truce! Lava-beds! Awful, sir, aw-
full! The Argus is goner! Gone up,
Mr.. Scudder! Slain! But how could
you have scared up that idea about
a man fighting with n flag of truce
in his hand? And how, oh, how could
you have killed a man who you admit
was afterward President of the United
States? No comic paper ever sur
passed this. 1t is terrible! ] think
we shall have to part, Mr.. Scudder. 1t
seems to me that your career as a
journalist ought to come to an end
right here. / will accept your resig.
nation.
"And If any one asks you why you
left the Argus, point to this last par
agraph and say that 1t was because
the proprietor was afraid he'd muir.
der you when he read your statement
that AT the battle of Bunker Hill the
Confederates lost $4,000 and the Car.
thagenians only $780, and that there
Is no spot in Virginia that the people
hold more sacred than that bloody
hill where the bones of Cromwell lie
with those of Roger Williams, as II
in life they had never fought against
each other in the cause of the consti-
tuition and cheap transportation Point
to that language. Mr.. Scudder, and
your friends will understand the sit
uation, Good morning"
Then Mr.. Scudder withdrew, and
he is now looking for another newspa-
per to ruin.