davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01
The Spiders Eyes.

The Attis spider particularly. in adj
dition to umerou little eyes. has a
pair of large eyes. which the erudite
compare to gig lamps. When one spi-
der was captured the gig eyes were II
dark brown. but suddenly they chang
ed to bright grass green.
In n few minutes the creature. with
the same dcliheration. turned its eyes
from grass green to dark brown. 1t re-
peated the change several times in sue
cesSion. Apparently they We're under
control of the will. To all appearances
It seemed to take pride in showing off
the strange power. At any rate it evil
IDENTIFY enjoyed the proceedings.
1t was as if a veil-now of green.
Aow OF dark brown-diffused itself
from above downward behind the cor-
nea. The color OF either or of both
eyes could I've thus changed. Other
spiders of the same sort act in like
am Chicago Tribune.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01
Lonu Nails a Menace.

A German medical paper has been
~denOuncing in no uncertain terms the
popular custom of wearing long nails,
Even the rosy. we'll kept nails of a
beautiful wOman'S hand cannot he con-
Sidercd beautiful" writes this Jour
nal. land involuntnrily reminds one of
an animals claws. Eut many people
even do not understand how to keep
the long grown nail clean. and the
sight of such a hand is downright dis
gushing. With the greatest cleanliness.
however, the long. pointed nail may in
an injury to thH skin, and, as
there Is frequently an accumulation of
disease germs under the apparent
cleanliness. it very often adds infection
to the injury. Such injuries can be
inflicted upon ones own person and
also upon that of others. and mothers
are liable to imperil their children,
with whom they often come in close
contact. The nail. therefore. should be
worn short. ending directly above the
tip Of the finger, which it is, after all.
intended only to protect.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01

Emperor William, a fact attributed by
some in part to his having the Christian
name of C~harlemagne. The emperor,
az Is well known, greatly admires the
character Of the Emperor Charlemagne
and considers himself the successor Of
the latter in imperial authority.
When the kaiser learned that Mr..
Tower was coming to Berlin, he is
said to have remarked: II am glad.
Ambassador Tower Is n German, as his
great ancestor was" Though France
claims that C~harlemagne was q French
man, Emperor William asserts that he
was n German. Ambassador Tower Is
q multimillionai>e. His father was
called Charles the Great" The son
married a rich woman, Il daughter Of
g. Frank Smith of San Francisco, and
retired from active railroad and min
ing management in the northwest to
look after her estates. He Is a lawyer,
banker, author, scientist. mining en-
gineer, historian and capitalist, besides
being an able diplOmatist.
Speaking Of the love of Americans
for Paris, Mr.. Tower once told of an
American gilf who lived In a western
city. There were in those days no in
stitutes for the treatment OF rabies or
threatened rabies save In France. The
young girls life was m%onotonOus, and
one day she burst into n neighbours
house almost beside herself with Joy
u excitement. Her eyes flashed.
Her cheeks had a rose flush. Painting
q little, she cried in q tremulous voice:
''Thank goodness. we are going to
Paris at last. Dad has been bitten by
q mad dog"
John Burroughs, the famous nature
student, is never tired Of %rldicuiing the
new school Of nature writer's. the school
that attributes n quite human intelli
gence to animals and insects.
"Mr. Burroughs dincd with me on,
night" said a magazine editor Of New
York. land among my guests was q
young nature writer of the new school
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01
How FIyino Fish Glide,

The theory that the flying fish gliucS
through the air like an aeroplane. pro
PEELED by the tail and guided 10y the
pectoral fins. is disproved 10y I.ieuten-
ant Colonel {. II. Durnford. an English
naturalist. He finds that an average
flight begins with Il jump into the air.
impelled Ivy the tail and aided 10y the
winglikc fins: that it IL continued hy a
labored and exceedingly rapid move
ment Of the seemingly motionless
wings. which ut times slow down SO
that the vibration becomes visible. and
that 1t ceases with n sudden stoppage
or gradual slowing down of the wings
before reaching the water.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01

to make the next PROFESSOR FRED
meeting OF The ERi'k DE MARTENS
Hague tribunal in June as ~successfu'
AS possible. Professor de Martens in
speaking Of what this conference will
do says:
There can be no doubt that the ques-
ton OF disarminE and the limiting OF
ornaments will be the piece de resistance
OF the programme. Personally l feel that
the matter Is not yet ripe for discussion.
and l am convinced hat at the present
momen II will be impossible to attain
any practical result from discussing 1t.
Germany. France n Russia all hold
that the disarmament question 10 not
ripe for discussion and that no good can
come from discussing the limiting c:
ornaments. as II Is not a practical Ques-
ton. But this opposition Is on tho merits
Of the question and does not go to the
extent OF opposing consideration OF the
subject II the United States or Great
Britain insists upon II.
The DraEo doctrine has provoked some
misunderstanding and bad feeling. II 1t
10 to form a guarantee to any power nor
to pay its debts. naturally II will not
evoke much sympathy. and from this
point OF view ! do not think 1t will toe
approved ever In the United States The
doctrine WAS accepted by Mr.. Hay with
considerable reserve, But II It will oper-
ate % as to avoid resort to force and
send to The Hague questions which can
be settled by arbitration Il may BE- very
useful.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01
Oh, Sprinel

Oh, spring. you're fine to read about,
But when we come to try you out
Then o are not
So fine and hot
When you are Johnny-on-the-Spot.
We listen for the babbling brooks,
The kim we read about In books,
But all we see
Is slush SO free
1t almost reaches to the knee.
The little brides come to sing
In what is advertised as spring,
Then they retreat
With frOzen feet
In search OF what will pass for heat.
sometimes you smile a little bit,
But later on you throw a At
The point to gain
That you've. tits plain.
A reputation to maintain,
And, though at winter we may SCOT,
We do not take our iannels of,
Because we know
Your three ring show
At n time may run in snow.
Oh, spring, you large and windy bluff
Xou never hear us call Enough"
The points that win
You spread out thin
And then proceed to rub 1t In.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01

q class by itself. it's nearest competition
being the recently completed ZambeZi
bridge in Africa. $50 feet In height.
Just at the point where this bridg,
is to stand the abysmal chasm is only
80 feet wide at the bottom and go
feet at the top. The rugged opposite
walls rise almost vertically. Through
this narrow gorge the waters Of the
stream rush with resistless force and
fury.
by accurate measurement the new
bridge will span the river 1927 feet
above the water. 1t will be $50 fee,
long and % feet wide. The material
will be Of fiat steel and steel cables
such as are utilized in suspension
bridge construction. The curved grid.
ers that support the structure will
have secure Judgment mt each end in
the granite sides of the canyon. Stuff
Client space will be cut out OF the solid
rock or each side to secure anchorages
that nothing short of a violent earth.
quake can loosen.
Singular to say. the floor Of the
bridge will be of plate glass one and
one-half inches thick set in strong steel
framework. This is to afford visitors
an opportunity Of seeing objects-the
stream, walls Of the awful yawnine
chasm below without becoming dizzy.
On each side of the bridge will h,
high. strong steel. ratings. so that there
will no M pnSSihln Iopvn,. If ony- an.
falling from this unusual height. One
million dollars is the estimated cost of
this bridge.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01
Humor cna Philosophy
BY DUNCAN NJ. SMITH
PERT PARAGRAPHS.

In discoursing on the glories of a new
climate some people talk as though you
could eat scenery.
However. sou couldn't prove it by
the tailor that the clothes do not make
the man.
IT you really want to see yourself as
others see you, just get into a quarrel
with a sharp tongued lady.
The politician shakes hands Just as u
business investment.
what an improvement 1t would be If
everybody were to carry about all day
the same face that they use when look
Ing In the looking glass.
In going into a theater check your
thirst at the door.
Some people will not laugh at certain
Jokes because they respect old age.
When a man is ashamed Of his coun-
Try the country is not apt to be sorry
about it.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01

SOHN BURROUGHS, TIL CAT THE RosE-
BUSH.
This young man told Il wonderful story
about the intelligence Of oysters. lie
said he was going to put the story in
his new book. Mr.. Burroughs gave IL
dry laugh and said:
LET me tell you about u cat. This
story Is quite as authentic as the other
one, and 1t should do for your book
nicely
1.-THE venerable student paused i'm
pressively. then said:
"'A Springfield couple had a cat that
age had rendered helpless. and they
put 1t out of its misery by means Of
chlOroform. They buried 1t in the gar
den, and planted II rosebush over Its
remains. The next morning Il familiar
scratching took them to the front door.
and there was the cat waiting to be
let in. with the rosebush under its
arm.'"
The Rev. Dr. Reginald J. Campbell.
who was prominent in the discussion
Of the education bill in England. sue
ceeded the late Or. Joseph Parker as
pastor of the City Temple and Is one of
the foremost no~nconformist ministers
Of England. He Is especially promi-
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01

JOHN S. SARGENT. Mr.. Sargent has
reached Il point now where he does
not need to take every commission Of
fered him. and wealthy people esteem
1t something Of which to be proud X
he paints their portraits, even If his
fee Is large. His charge IS understood
to be from $4,000 to $4,000. and
those who sit in his studio make no
objection to paying the price. 1t Is
predicted that n Sargent portrait In
years to come will bring as great n
price as Romneys, Gainsboroughs and
Reynolds do now. An American mil
lionaire IS quoted as saying:
IF ! can leave a Sargent to my
grandchildren, I'm sure they'll never
be broke, no matter how the market
goes"
Clifford Pinchot, chief forester in the
United States department Of agricul-
ture. whose bureau came in for some
criticism in congress recently, figured
In the doings Of the last meeting Of
the Gridiron club Mt Washington. At
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01
UNCLE ETA G., -G1E FOOD.

--~---
M'ranas-s.e's f.- l.ugater-'s got a no.
A s>"tc" .."..- cry from the books
IT,. : " 49,: ,.ld.
An she - =; l1rk an beans is lest
p;'l be.
An - So tI'; ~ for supper II make
a invalid - no.
An tret 81 lr''s milk. whut we hev
drunk fer al these many years.
s full o tuberculosis. an from whit she
seq it pears
Thet me an ma an all the boys are
treadin' on the brink
O gastrono,nic ruin from the things we
eat an drink.
To eat an drink SO reckless of things we
surely know
Will put us in our early graves-statistics
prove it SO!
But Tom an Jim they make the fires an
cut the wood an plow
An plant an rake an weed an hoe an
feed an milk the COW.
An ma she churns an darns an sews an
bakes an boils an stews.
An 1 run the corner grocery. while
M'randy airs her views.
She isn't strong enough. she seq. to cook
three meals a day
An wouldn't run a SEWN machine for
any kind O pay;
She don't hev time to churn or sweep or
help about the farm,
An she couldn't keep a set o. books by
reason O. the harm
'Twould be to breathe the germs thet
float in tibet there grocery store
The way M'randy acts Is very delicate,
for shore.
It seems to me It's better to eat an drink
an work
Than to starve your soul an body an to
allus hev to shirk
An lon vc your iOh tn some ONo else The
way M'randy does.
J / could hev my druthers 1 think t!let
! would choose
TO ave the coffee peas alone an let
the shavin's be,
For old time drinks an v~ictuals is quite
good enough for me.
Celia Myrover Robinson in New York
Sun.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01

Of age, is an oxford man and Is very
magnetic in manner. Dr. Campbell
places the starting point OF religious
work along the lines of liberal theolo-
gy at belief In the imminence Of God
man This ia where 1t differs from
Unitarianism, which. he says. puts
man on one side and God on the other
eide Of the great gulf. Mr.. Campbell
and his school believe man to be a
revelation of God and the universe one
means to the self manifestation Of
God. The word Cod stands for the
Infinite reality whence all things pro-
coed. Thinkers of this school bold that
human nature should he interpreted
~accordingto its highest representative.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01
More Man.

"Yes, Katharine. it was the ultra
fashionable wedding Of the winter"
Indeed"
You should have seen the gorgeous
wedding gown worn by the bride. The
flowers were the costliest that could be
bought"
Really
"And then the jewels and furs Of
those invited! The display was daz-
cling"
"Gracious! And there was nothing
cheap looking ut the ~wedding?"
"Nothing looked cheap except the
poor. abaShed Observation-Disclosures
News.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01

Elderly Croesus twho has married 4
young Wife}-I don't mind telling sou.
old man. that at first there We're rue
tons. but things are going swimming
ly now because I've found the way to
manage her, my boy.
Friend-Congratulate YOU. old
How did you do it?
Elderly Croesus-Always let her have
absolutely her own way in everything.
-Tatler.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01
Why Wood Warps.

An expert has advanced a new the.
DRY to explain why the most carefully
kiln dried wood sometimes warps. He
says that when the sap is dried ont
various foreign substances remain In
the wood. and these absorb moisture
and swell and thus cause warpinc.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01
Quick Results.
HE took three
bottles, and 1t
cured him."
Cured him Of
what!"
"Of taking pat
ant medicine"
Knocking The Ladies.

Np0SriiS ShC Goo'CS.
Every once in awhile some college
professor or a gentleman who has ac-
quired enough strength to write a book
makes the startling discovery that mar
Is superior to woman and proceeds to
gloat over the alleged fact.
AS soon as a nan gets to a position
in life where his income justiies two
suits Of clothes he begins to feel mighty
and to look with pity on the women
who have had seven or eight dresses
all the while. AS he never went out
in the kitchen and tried to make n pie
he feels quite certain that he is SUI
perior to any one who can.
1t is only when a man arrives ut the
age when young girls begin to call
him grandpa" that he harbors such
notions. Young men under the age Of
twenty-five know better. They have
met with so many ladies who were
able to make them feel like a few loose
bits Of pocket change that they are
mighty glad If some certain woman
will condescend to look on them as an
equal.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01
Out of IL.

"Your wife and daughters are very
hospitable."
YES" answered Mr.. Cumrox: "when
mother and the girls give a party ev-
erybody seems perfectly at home
around the house except me."-Wash-
lngton Star.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01
Their First Quarrel.

Mrs. Hunnimune-You're Just hate
full!
Mr.. Hunnimune-YOu're more so.
Mrs. Hunnimune-YOu're a regular
stick.
Mr.. Hunnimune - You're cross as
two.-Philadelphia Press.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01
For the Sake Of Her Reputation.

Why asked her mother. do you
always play them classical tunes when
we have company"
S that II l happen now and then
to hit the wrong key they'll never know
the difference."-Chicago Record Her
I'D.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01
Advertisement.

"Why do you allow yourself to be
posted Mt your club:'
"Well." answered the easy going
youth, Its Il large club and n swell
one. and no one would know l was a
member of it unless l got posted now
and then.'-WaShingtOn Star.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01

1905. Is again In the
United States. His
mission this time
has to do with peace
also. He was one
Of the prime movers
in connection with
III calling Of the
first peace confer
ence ut The Hague
and Is now work ing
to make the next
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01

nent now rs an ex-
ponent Of liberal
theology and has
been touring the
provinces making
addresses on this
subject. DR.. Camp
bell has visited the
United States and
addressed large as
sem lages here. He
In ~fhirty-ninp RS
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01

this meeting Il sort of political farce
or burlesque was enacted, the leading
character being the liking of the Unit
ed States in the year 1920. The king
was represented on his throne recciv-
ing petitions and complaints from sub
jects. a complaint from Clifford Pin
chot that 'thc White House does not
match the trees" puzzled the king for
awhile, but ut last he remembered.
white House," he said. "Oh, you
mean that relic of forgotten days?
Paint it green, then. and call it the
Green House, or paint the trees white.
1t matters not. What else is there to
rcport:'
The first grand opera ever staged in
the new world had what the dramatic
critics would call its premier Just 1916
years ago. 1t vas in n little theater in
old New York when the citizens were
c~olonist subjects of the British mon
arch. Those same citizens wouldn't
stand for grand opera. They Missed
the piece at its first performance and
made such II furore of protest. demand
ing that IL cheap farce be substituted.
that the enrageu and terrified man
ager rang down the curtain and put OH
the farce forthwith. 1t was three
years before another attempt was made
to give New York operate treatment.
At the second attempt the treatment
'took." and the receipts were $500 in
one night. which was considered re
markably high. That would not pay
the nightly salary Of any II Of sew.
eral singers who appear this season.
Professor Frederick de Martens. wlh
was adviser on International law to
Pence Commissioner Witte ut the now
celebrated Portsmouth conference of
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01
Science.

"If a man had an arm long enough
to touch the sun and burn his fingers
said the professor. "he would not feel
the pain for 5000 years."
"And for how many thousand years
could he be heard swearing about it,
professor asked the anxious student
In the second rO~W.-Judge.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01
Cause For Alarm.

Benham-Don't worry If I don't get
In early tonight.
Mrs. Benham-I should worry il you
did get in early. l should know there
vas something the matter with YOU
Puck.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01
THE HIGHEST BRIDGE
Span Across the Royal Gorge, Colorado.
Gears That Distinction,

The highest in the world is the dis
tinctiOn awarded by the American In
ventor to the trolley bridge now under
construction across the famous ROYAL
gorge. in Colorado. which will be o.Go1
feet, half a mile. above the river be-
low. AS far AS height goes, this little
bridge. only 80 feet long. will be in
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01
Not In SIGHT.

Il can't see anything strange about
it," exclaimed the small boy to the
young mai who was calling on his big
sister.
"About what. childy"
Your head"
isn't my hair combed;"
Sure. but last night ! asked pa what
a vacue,m was. and he told me to look
under your hat for one"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01

Sargent himself. 4
feature of this gal
lery consists Of art
lists portraits paint
ed by themselves.
and to he hung in
this collection is con-
Sidered as comforting
undying fame on the
painter so honored.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01

therefore reverence Jesus Christ and
watch the development of modern sci
ence. with which they hold Christianity
is in harmony. The Bible Is handled as
freely and critically as any other book.
Immortality of the soul is accepted on
the ground that every individuals con-
seriousness Is Il ray of the universal
consciousness and that we make our
destiny in the next world by our be-
havior in this.
The latest portrait to he hung in the
famous Uffizi gallery in Florence.
Italy, is that of John S. Sargent OF
Boston. Europe calls him 1.-The wen
tieth century Velasquez," and critics
generally regard him as the greatest
living portrait painter. American or
European. The painting of Sargent re
Gently hung in the Uffizi gallery is by
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01
Pen Pictures of
Folk In the News
Ambassador ToWer-Painter John S. Sar.
Qent-Chief Forester PinChot-John
Burroughs Cat Story-Professor
Frederick de Martens.

TH L American
ambassador to
Germany, Char
lemagne Tower. who
was d%ispleased with
Professor Burgess
for a time on ac-
II Of the latter''S
famous Monroe doc
trine speech, has
made up with him
and attended the
last lecture given
the Columbia pro-
fessOr In Berlin.
Ambassador Tower
is very popular with
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01
intoxicating.

Il wouldn't think it safe to put deua-
tured alcohol into an automobile"
"Why not:"
I'D be afraid the different parts
would get tight" - Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01
II Always Follows.
Born Detective.

"He is looking for the philosophers
stone"
THAT SO: Has he any idea where
the philosopher lost it,"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01
Their Speciality,

HE thinks two can live as cheaply
az one"
1.-THE milliners will break him OF tina
notion"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01
The honeIess Bill.

"A charge l have to keep"
That's what the grocer said.
1t almost made him weep
When the account he read.
What was 1t, children. made him say 1t?
He knew the man would never pay 1t.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-05-01

Professor Frederick de Martens. who
was adviser on international law to
Peace Commissioner Witte at the now
celebrated Portsmouth conference of