davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Gilpin observer., 1907-07-18

The orchard will be greatly bene-
fitted by a narrowing every two
weeks. ---A---.--..,.----.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-20
Enter Mr.. Vulcan.

Just then the whale car returned
with Mr.. Vulcan on the back seat.
The reporter would like 10 have re-
manned longer under the spell of the
enchantress, but the newcomer has the
reputation of being a sort Of AlkaH
Ike in the use of firearms. Moreover.
the "Megaphone" was waiting for
copy.
He bade Miss Seafoam gUOd-by and
went up the road to the Cerulean
University. Arriving there. he was
told that Miss DrybOncs was in the
laboratory investigating 'The consti-
tuent elements of the nipper Of a pulex
irritans." Translated, this means
Trying to find out why the fly bites.
As the result of Miss Minerva's re-
searches viii be of vital Importance
70 Athenian CANNES. the reporter TIP
tced out lest he interrupt at the
psychological moment and quench the
fires of Genius. There are some mat
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-20
Upsets Reporter.

She smiled graciOusly and ordered
her green liveried Triton to drive
three times around coral reef. As
the equipage disappeared she turned
her glorious OTbs on the reporter, pro-
dUCing a terrible upheavaI in his
cardiac region.
When asked how it felt &c be the
most beautiful woman in the world,
Miss Seafoam replied: "Oh it's lovely,
but 1 never dreamed of getting the
prize. 1 did not even anow that my
picture had been entered.
She was then asked her opinion Of
the second award.
''Oh it's lovely, too. Miss Drybones
Is charming; she has sucn a spiritueIIe
face; and as for Mrs Juno Jupiter, I
really expected her to come FIRST. she
is magnificent. It's an honor for me,
though. and / am grateful TO the Dis
cord" I've had the lovenest letters
from everybody"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-20
Not Home at ALL

A large tear trickled down Mr.
iupiter's cheek. laundering his auburn
whiskers in its gentle passage. He
paused. choking with emotion. When
able TO resume, he said: It's all
newspaper talk; they say I came home
drunk the night the beauty contest
was decided, and hung Mrs. Jupiter
down IN the air by g cord. did not
come home drunk that night; in fact.
1 did not come home at all I stayed
at the Baccnanalan Club. felt too
sad to meet my dear one IN her disap-
pointment. It IS a wel-known fact
that Juno has been taking on hesh too
rapidly. Madame Ceres advised a
trapeze. I purchased one at enormous
expense, and suspended IL from Mt
Ida While exercising Juno lost her
equilibrium
Vulcan. our boy, ran TO the rescue.
and broke his leg. With all my other
troubles these scandalous reports
about nv family AFFAIRS have to be en-
dured- Mrs. Jupiter and myself are IN
perfect accord. Please say this In the
Megaphone. Also that I shall investi-
gate the beauty contest; il find there
has been graft shall spend any sum
TO bring the offenders to Justice"
Notwithstanding Mr.. Jupiter's ex-
IRENE reticencs, tho reporter prom
Used to comply with this modest re-
quest.
Later developments proved the truth
of the cloud magnate's suspicious.
When the reportes arrived at the
Megaphone office a wireless had come
from our special correspondent IN
Sparta saying that he had proofs In
his right-hand toga pocket OF Lisuten-
ant Seafoam's completely. Through
this OFFICER Count Paris Priam had OBJ
tanned an automobile and a letter Of
introduction to Mr.. Menelaus, OF
Sparta
Before the thunderboits Of Mr.. Jupi-
ter had a chance to descend, Count
Paris had eloped with Mrs. Helen
MenelaUs TO Troy.
This morning Mr. Menelaus OTganiZ-
ed a lynching party composed Of the
blue bloods Of southern Greece and
started or to the woods Of Troy TO
vindicate the unwritten law.
But that's another story.
This article is only to tell what awful
results a beauty contest often brins
about
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-20
On a Technically.

He continued. The third prize
should have been given to Mrs. Pros
erpine Pluto, OF HelFs Bottom; but
She was ruled out on a technicaIity.@
rs II POSSIBLE calculated the re-
porter.
Yes, there was a dispute as to heI
legal residence. HelIs Bottom is out
Of the county limits. Mrs. Ceres.
PrOserpine's mother, wanted Pluto 10
let her daughter live with her in
Eleusis so as to be eligible for the
contest. Mr.. Pluto let his wife STAY
a while and then made her come. home.
Madame Ceres uttered some sighting
remark about Hell's Bottom; this
made Mr.. Pluto furious and he entered
Proserpine IN the contest, giving his
home, just for spite, as her legal resi-
denCe. I suspect" here he lowered
his voice. 1t is q case OF too much
nother-in-law- Don't quote me.
though. as criticising Madame Ceres;
she reduced Mrs Juno's double chin
In time for the contest and I arr
grateful; yet I w1sh"-a far-on look
crept over his countenance-'I wish Fl
had been her jaw instead"
'Ahl that brings me 70 another
point" said the reporter. There are
rumors OF trouble between you and
Mrs. Jupiter. The Megaphone takes no
stock in gossip, and would Ike to set
these rumors at rest. Have you any
thing to say?"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-20
Offers Trip on Styx.

In addition Hades Pluto generously
promised a voyage In one Of his paIa-
tial StyX liners 10 his exclusive Win
ter re sort In TaTtaTus.
These were all offers 10 excite the
keenest competition and keep the
pOpulaCe talking for Olympiads to
come
All things were moving m rrily as a
marriage bell, when the editor of the
'Dlscord. ~ whose vulnerable point Gun
like that of Mr.. Achilles) was at the
end vertically opposite his heel. made
q fatal mistake Instead Of appoint
ing a committee of awards, he selected
as sole arbiter Count Paris Priam, a
---~eigner. The count is a favorite in
diplomatic circles, and somewhat of a
connoisseur Of female beauty; he
dances divinely. and dabbles In art:
but as he associates only with the 400
A"u Inere are r1mors that he is lool--
ing for rich wife. it was feared his
judgment would be biased. Indeed. so
quickly was a decision reached. there
were murmurs among the populace, to
the erect that Count Paris had not
even looked at the stacks of photo
graphs piled up in the stables.
The awards were as follows:
FHST ERTzE-
MISS VENUS APERoDIFE SEA
2oAE daughter of lieutenant sec
foam, Of the Submarine Barracks
SECOND PRIZE
MISS MINERVA PALLAS nay
BONES, Fh. d, CeruIean Univergitv.
THIRD PRIZE
MS. JUNO JUPITER, OF oIyrn-
plan Heights.
AS soon as the awards were an
nOunced, a reporter for the ''Athenian
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-20
Sees Cloud AEagnate.

The objective point was now the
Jupiter home on the heights. The re-
porter was ushered straight into the
presence OF the cloud magnate. The
latter was seated on a throne be-
meath a canopy Of gold certificates.
and reclined against sofa pillows made
Of railroad bonds and embroidered by
Mrs. Juno's loving fingers. A huge
helot waited a bunch of peacock
feathers before the imperial nose, and
the red rlnglets of the iovien beard
rose and fell with the gentle titllIa-
ton Of the air. There was a broodlng
look on the face OF the cloud mag
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-20

S HE trouble arose in this manner:
Some time about the third quar-
ter Of the first Olympiad, pomc-
granates. and spring onions
were not coming into the office of the
"Discord" very rapidly. The editor,
with characteristic fever Of enterprise,
decided 60 Increase circulation by
novel method. such as had never be-
fore been heard Of In all the borders
of the Aegean Sea. He advertised,
that a large AlOermarle pippin apple
would be given 10 the most beautiful
woman in Greece. The ladies and
their friends were specially requested
not to be backward about coming for
ward with photographs.
The response nearly exunGuishad the
editor. Pictures came from the prov
inces, the Heavens. the islands, ana
not a few from HelTs Bottom The
editorial rooms would not hold the
contributions; and, had II not been Tor
the kindness of Leo Hercules, who
kindly offered the Augean stables to
hold the overflow. many photographs
.iusJ have lain out Of doors. exposed
70 the clements.
As soon as the delicate blossom Of
the editors plan unfoided itself, Mcr-
curry Sons 4 Co, donated a handsome
evening gown for the winner. Dr..
Esculapius Quack promised d hottie
of Elixir of Youth and Madame Ceres,
the skin specialist, gave a talent-of-
silver box Of massage cream.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-20
MINERVA PALLAs DRYBoNEs.
Winner the Second Prize From
Reading Capture Money as Long Shot

nate, which bodied IN for some ore.
He was quite civil. however, to the
'MegaphOne" reporter, and offered him
a celestial weed TO smoke. Mrs.
Jupiter he declared. was at the meet
ing of the Ionian Matinee Bridge Club,
and would not be home till daylight
rs 1t true, Mr.. Jupiter asked the
reporter, that you are dissatisfied
with the awards in the 'Discords'
beauty cCntest?"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-20

dares 10 say that my majestic Juno
has a peer-after her four seasons of
beauty culture under Madame Ceres2
BY Pluto, ] shall appoint an investi-
eating committee. 1 believe Count
Paris was bribed"
In his agitation the cloud magnate
raised his foot and kicked the helot
out through the WindaU
The poor fellow needs fresh air"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-20

'Dissatishedi' he Numbered. in
voice that produced an earthquake in
the Olympian stock market. 4 am in
a mood to feast the fowls and glut the
dogs of Greece with the gore of the
whole 'DiScord' editorial STAFF. Who
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-20

tive session. I win go over the awards
with you and point out the intustices
1 have given my views about the first
the second was correct; my step
daughter deserved it,
Your stepdaughtere / thosght
Miss Minerva was your very oWrnt''
said the reporter.
'oh. no, didn't she step from the
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-20
AWAY!

Away, away, I'd ike to glide and Gu
a sheltered nook
Where I might rest myself beside
gently babbling brook.
I'd like place where pixies play ELl
thoughts of toll or pelf
And where my grist of alleged fun
would daily grind itself
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-20

First Olympiad, B. c.
~ REAT excitement has
prevailed throughout
Grecian social and po-
litical circles, during
the last quarter of the present
Olympiad, as the result of a
Beauty Contest" inaugurated by
our esteemed contemporary, the
Daily Aeolian Discord.
An apparently empty event
proved to be loaded with such dire
potentialities that the Discord's
editor is taking vacation across
the HellespCnt, whence he fled from
the wrath of Mr.. Zeus Jupiter, the
well-known cloud magnate, who
has a corner in Heavens and owns
block after block of hot-air castles
in ElySian Terrace.
The awards in the contest were
not satisfactory to Mr.. Jupiter,
who thought that his wife, Mrs.
Juno Jupiter, should have had first
price instead of third. So deeply
embedded is his anger, that he has
refused to 60 as peace delegate to
the Amphyctionic conference at
Delphi. He has concluded that
peace is ignominious, and hencefor-
ward he will WELD his thunderbOltS
wherever and whenever he liSteth.
He is moved the more to this be
cause two other happy homes have
known trouble and strife since the
Beauty decisions.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-20

ters which take precedence even to
beauty contests.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-20
VENUS ApHRoDIrE sEAFoAM,

VENUS APHRODITE SEAFOAM,
Above Is a Reproduction of a Mar
velous Marble Likeness Of the First
Prize .yinner in "AeOlian Discord's"
Prize Beauty Contest.
All-Night MegaphOne" called on Miss
SeafOam. He found her strOlling In
the waters of her fathers home: she
was attired for a drive; her gown was
of diaphanous spray chiffon with a
garnlture Of weed fringe, and it's full
tones threw in striking relief the ex-
quisite Nervousness of her faultless
cOuntenance- a car, drawn by four
thoroughbred " h a S. impatientIy
champing their bits, awaited her.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-20

top OF my head" he replied. Il am
fond OF her. though; Minnie has an
Did head on her shoulders; she was
thirty-two years old the day she was
born"
At this Juncture q pateTnaI softening
was visible IN the argos eyes.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-20

RaGR Nine
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-20
Of Count
Paris Priam IN the
Original Con test
Created Joy and
Woe, Turmoil and
Jealousy in all the
Borders of the Ae-
gean Sea.

Translated By Sue Fife Ramsey)
Taken from the flies Of the 'aAthenian
Albright Megaphone," a rival Journal of
the Daily AeOlian DiEocrd"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-10-20

49, HE trouble arose in this manner:
Some time about the third quar-
ter of the first Olympiad, pomc-
The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1907-01-22
GENERAL RCRERT K. LEE.

baggage" and those who had more than
one suit OF clothes put on the best
and destroyed the rest
While serving as aide-de-camp to
General Grant, | fell into the habit of
making accurate notes Of ali impof-
tant events. The following report Of
tire conversation which occurred be-
tween the commanders is taken from
my notes made during the interview.
and published after the War in ny
campaigning With Grant"
General Grant began the converse
tion ty saying: - met you once be
fore, General Lee. while we We.t serN-
ing il Mexico, when you came oves
from General SCOTS headquarters to
visit Galland's brigade - which /
then belonged. ! have always remem-
bered your appearance. and think
| should have recognized YOU any
where Yes. replied General Lee,
II know | met YOU on that occasion.
ana ! have often thought of II ard
tried t. recollect how You looked, but
/ have never been able TO recall Z
single feature" After some further
mention Of Mexico. General Lee said.
II suppose. General Grant, that the
.Obi.Gt Of our present meeting is fully
understood | asked to see YOU To as
receive the surrender Of M army.
General Grant replied The terms |
propose are those stated substantially
in my letter Of yesterday. that Is. the
officers and men surrender To he pa
rolled and disqualified from taking III
arms again till properly exchanged,
ard al arms. ammunition. and sup
plies tn be delivered up as captured
property. Lee nodded an assent and
said. Those are about the conditions
which | expected would be proposed.
General Grant then continued: Yes.
| think our correspondence indicated
pretty clearly the action that would
il max lead 20 a general suspension Of
h0stiIities and be the means of PR
venting any further loss Of life.
Lee inclined his head IS indicating
hi4 accord with this wish. and Grant
then went on to talk at some length in
very pleasant vein about the pros
poets Of peace. Lee was evidently
anxious To proceed TO the formal work
of the surrender. and he brought the
subject UP again by saving
- presume. General Grant We have
both carefully considered the prope-
stefs 70 be taken. and | would sug
gest that y8u commit - writing the
terms YOU have proposed. 50 that thcy
msr be formally acted upon.
Very well replied General Grant.
u Viii write them OUT" and calling
for his manifold order-book. and OPEN
ing it Oh the table before him. he pro-
ceeded 70 write the terms. The leaves
had been 50 prepared that three i'm
tConlnCed on Page Three)
The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1907-01-22
ONE HUNDRDTH ANNIVERSARY or The Birth OF GENERAL ROBERT LEE
ROBERT t. LEE
gfftl 81 II.stk

"s"*n3 @ A~ft @aa 3ssss3asf -
F t fs aaftst tts
st 5"z aHf sss
A@isst e
%-t4N %Ae E* H SELF t..* fEHs Is tH9
s44 aa t.sss ##F# tfv h-&
stse g. Fs' #@se sH eFsU ras93@
1fFa#s #@ t@ .f#E Ftx&s@ ~ the
ffsAH ti.tF 5.t tter A At"* 4fo nE
s5S ttA ths AfHH AH@MF t39
t.tik .4 t.tl9e. t-stFft e ht"s f..taN
et .' 'fsf $40 p HfeHt tH jHHs
r. f-*t 'as .'t t.ti 5AE&aA" 'AAA .1fa
tstt Eft1 @t. NrE H#aEr @A thHt
-. fsst8 Ht.* i#.fH.stHEH t"il. f4fA
@t5 i4f#is tfaHtF tt's fat N.t* ,E
ezra p ht#fHs I" n.as" HsAtt tf@ss nt
.+t 5#@ .e'tAt2t ~ rttAtHI1tt~ htEa hr
'"+| 't "hsft = h' norge tft@t f'th
.t+.'A H' 'Ef" t" @st lsFftt y ~ FtE
5H5 n' tr'" wrongful fstte 2" a aefs
- #l r &f'44= tH2 @fRhf
st tst tAeftf* <fa t"As As
@@f H. NAf.'H E@tt tH ntt tssi iahs
+ R-'t tttf'f
'ftH" t#I Nst taae h4P an uF th~
"' - ~. l't5s
t"tt 'i @.A5.
1ss tt st+
E
t.'2 .fo' ~
t' 'st5''A
-. f.t'ti h#3 A#A san 8t4& fhb
ft3 4t 5t+I'++e f#E h@l @i8ft
5."" ttt
+"'ftf
~
" T.
' t'ti'f4t i@' .PttH4t'
'e"' 81 1ttt H' Ff"ttt''f tf't*
t't" th' =. ~ftththk A3nt3 e" & e. tEa
r" 'tt '''H' sat ft"'8.' lt3
~ ttsf... ~ t3. htt*t# t"fi'' t'f' p tt
The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1907-01-22

Of the hail. and there awaited General
Grants arrival. AS we approached
the house we saw q lacge IRON gray
horse with his bride off nibbling the
grass in the front yard, with an or
derly in charge of him. 1t was Gen
eraI Lees famous horse '.TraveIer.' \
dafk-coiored mare alongside proved
to be Colonel MarshalIs. General
Grant entered the room alone, the staff
remaining outside. as they thought the
General might want to have the inter-
view in private. General Lee arose
from his chair. General Grant ad
yanced towards him and extended his
hand saying. General Lee, and the
two shook hands cordially. In 4 few
minutes Colonel Babcock came 10 the
f.ont door, and. making n motion with
his hat toward the sitting-room. said
70 the staff. General Grant says come
in. We entered quietly and ranged
ourselves about the sides Of the room.
Several general officers of the Union
Army came III afterwards.
There was a table in the far corner
with a marble top, almost square seal
loped little on the corners close to
which Lee was sitting. Grant WAS
seated beside Il small oval-shapel
wooden table in the middle Of the
room The two distinguished com
manders we're about eight feet apart,
and facing each other.
The contrast between these illus
trious men was singuIarlE striking.
General Grant was fgrty-three years
of age quite slim. and weighed only
one hundred and thirty pounds. lie
was five feet eight inches in height.
with shoulders slightly stopped. He
wore Il soldiers blouse and soldiers
trousers. with nothing TO indicate his
rank but the shaG11cr-etraps Of
lieutenant-een His slouch hat
was lying on tile table. He had on
pair of partly worn broUn-c0lored
thread gloves. which he took off soon
after he went into the room. lie WAS
Without sword sash. or spurs. lie
wore ii pair Of ordinary t0p-h0Ots with
his trousers inside. These as we'll a.
his clothes were spattered with mud.
Ills hair was a dark brown, with no
trace of gay.
Lee was sixteen years his senior He
stood six feet and in inch in height.
Ha wore 4 new uniform Fl Confeder-
ate gray buttoned up to the throat.
and q handsome sword and sash The
sword Ws.s Of exceedingly fine work
manship. It had been presented to
him ~ some ladies III England who
symDathized vith his cause. His full
beard and hair were In color Q silver
gray. lie had a thick head of hair.
except III front. where it had become
4 little tain His spurs were hand
some and Had very large roNels. n
wore pair Of top-hoots which seemed
to be perfectly new and which Were
stitched with red silk. His gray hat
matching in color his uniform ana q
The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1907-01-22

contained in your letter of yesterday,
for that purpose.
Very respectfully, your obediant
servant, L. Is. LEE,
General.
Lieutenant-General L. S. Grant,
Commanding L. S. Armies
General Grant, after reading this
communication. dismouHted, sat down
on the grassy bank by the roadside,
and wrote the following reply:
Army:
Your note of this date is but this
moment l1:50 a. NO. received, in
consequence of my having passed from
the Richmond and Lynchburg road to
the Farmvlle and Lynchburg road.
l am at this writing about four mili
west of Walkers Church, and Will
push forward to the front for the pur-
pose Of meeting you. Notice sent to
me on this road where You wish the
interview to take place Will meet me.
Very respectfully, your obedient
servant, L. S. GRANT,
Lieutenant General.
The General handed this note to
Colonel Babcock, of the staff, With di
rections to take it to General Lee by
the most direct route. and then, re
mounting his horse. rode on at q trot
towards AppOmattOX Court House.
At one O'Clock we arrived at this
place, which was a little town con-
sisting of six houses. We met Sheri-
dan near the court house. Grant
greeted him With the words, How
are you, Sheridan? Do you know
where Lee is?'' Sheridan answered.
Yes. he is in that brick house
We'll, then. We will go over said
Grant. In front Of the house was
Colonel Babcock's orderly. who said
he had been ordered to pest himself
in the road to look for General Grant
and tell him where Lee was. He in
formed General Grant that General
Lee Colonel Babcock, and a Confed-
crate officer had gone into the house
half an hour before.
| learned afterwards from Colonel
Babcock that he had gone little more
than half a mile beyond App0matt0X
before he met General Lee. The Gan
eral was lying down to rest close to
the roadside upon some fenCe-r2ils
over which q blanket had been spread.
Colonel Marshall. the military Secre-
tary of General Lee. came forward to
receive the note. General Lee sat III
read the communication from General
Grant, and said TO Colonel Marshall.
we will advance or the road with
this officer"
The three rode along to the edge
Of the little town, and there met q
man in his shirt-sleeves whose name
was Wilmer Mclean. Lee said to
him. i want to occupy a room in q
house here for a short time for
conference" Mclean led them to the
first house and said, Come right III
The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1907-01-22
LEES SURRENDER At APpOnATTOX


pair ef gray gauntlets. apps emily neW.
Ea1 been thrown an the table hy E
side. 4 stranger seeing the marked
difference n tire attire of the tW men
might SeTs naturally have come to tie
conclusion THAR GraTt Mas the con-
quer.d aul Lee tic victor. Colonel
Marshall. when / asked him after
ara hoH il came that on this sun
day morning they appeared III such
5ne clothes. prepared apparently T. ~
- church While we Nele in a coudl-
tl4n thst scarcely rose u the dignity
of even the shabby genteel cN-
planned that they were pressed ST.
closely hat thps had To abandon then
The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1907-01-22

on the morning Of April =. 1866,
General Grant mounted upon his f4-
vorte bay horse Cincinnati, was rld-
ing with his staff along the road lead
ing from Farmvlle to App0nattoH
Court House At i point about niae
miles east Of the latter place he re-
ceived the following letter.
General | received Eour note OF
this morning on the picket line Whith-
er / had come to meet you and a&-
certain definitely what terms Were
embodied in your proposal of yest@1'-
day With reference to the surrender
of tfis army / now request an inte.-
view, in accordance with the offer