davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-11
The Oldest Book.

The Oldest book in the world to
which a positive date can be assigned
is an assortment Of proverbs some
what after the style Of the proverbs
collected by Solomon. The work is &C.
credited TO Ptah-hotep. an Egyptian
king, and EgyptoloSIsts assign to it an
antiquity Of at least 300 B. G. Abra-
ham was called to leave his home in
Ur of the Chaldees 1921 B. c., so that
this volume was written LOO years
before the beginning of Jewish histo-
ry. The deluge is placed by most chro-
nologists at B. c. 234s, SO the book, II
its dating is correct, must have been
written before the aood. Methuselah
was born B. C. 1917, SO that this papy
rus was prepared and these proverbs
were collected when the Oldest man on
record was lively young fellow OF
300 years.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-11
Not up 20 In, Mama.

George Peabody, the philanthroplst,
and John Bright often went to Ireland
together to fish. One day they went q
couple of miles up the Shannon be-
tween Castleconnell and Killaloe.
They had engaged the services of two
boatmen, and as Bright and Peabody
were keen anglers they made long
day Of 1t. On returning in the evening
Bright noticing a policeman on the
river bank, asked what sum the boat
men were entitled to for their time.
The constable said anything from
seven and sixpence to 10 shillInRs.
Bright turned to his companion, say
Ing: T have no change, Peabody.
Have you three half crownsT The
millionaire produced the coins and
gave them to one Of the boatmen, who
said, And is that all ye're givin' mer'
THAT is ALL" replied Peabody. WELL
that bates all iver heard" observed
the boatman, adding, as he scratched
his head: an they call ye Paybody.
Faith, 1 should call ye PaynobodyF-
London Standard.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-11
Come wlxs. Ar. Different.

Most men," said the man Of oKpsrI.
ence, think 1t must be awfully nice to
have wife who takes things as cool
ly as Dave PotteTs wife takes them,
but others, more discriminating, prefer
a good honest row to her style Of quiet
cynicism. The way she behaved tho
other day when she found q Letter In
Dawes pocket from girl in Brooklyn
Is an example Of her method
al don't ses,' wrote this girl, how
on earth can ever live without you Z
Dawes wife read that gush and q
lot more just like It without eyer tuEa-
ing hair.
"'WelI,' she said quietly, that gin
IS fool If she knew you as wen a
do she would be wondering how On
earth she could ever live With YOU
"And that, in the opinion Of the dis.
eliminating few, cuts whole lot dsoD.
, er than common, everyday Fumpus ?
New York Globe.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-11
,rhe Previsiens ef HIs WlII.

The widow of a little village grocer
was industrlously placing the large.
rosy checked apples on the top Of the
diminutlve shriveled ones in the barrel
when. with his well known martial
tread. Farmer Giles entered the estab-
lishment
AZ want that tub O. butter" he said.
"an' those hams. an that lot O. sugar.
an'"-
The shopkeeper rubbed her hands
together with delight
.'Yes, sir" she beamed; delighted
to serve you. I'm sure. And what else
may supply you with?"
WELL" went on Mr.. Giles, there's
all them bottles of tomato sauce, an
them boxes O. biscuits. an'-an' all that
other stuff" he concluded vaguely.
sweeping his hand round the shop.
Good graciousp exclaimed the wild
ow, now rather alarmed. "Whatever
do you want with all them goods?"
"I dunno, I'm sure" was the farm
er's puzzled reply, "but I'm the execu-
tor Of your late husbands will, an the
lawyers Just told me it's my duty to
carry out the provisions, SO come on.
I've got three hay carts waitin' out
aidep'
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-11

Before 1t was determined scientific
ally that smoke is waste, smoke was
fixed as the final indication and proof
of prosperity. Today a smokeIess
chimney means nothing less than
thrift and good management Similar
ly we now hear that noise is proof of
urban life, progress and activity. We
may answer that noise is loss as surely
as smoke Is waste. Decreased comfort
is loss and noise decreases comfort
Disturbed minds are loss through re-
ducion of mental force. But these
and similar consequences are indirect
loss. There is direct loss also. A rat
Ting car means worn bearings and
short lived vehicle. Otherwise rail-
roads would not spend so much on
their roadbeds, and they would run
trains at higher speed.-Detroit Free
Presa.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-11
chon au.x Ra,t Of Al

81 have tried them nlI In their ma.
tive haunts, and like them," said the
traveller, according to the Baltimore
Sun.
"Tned whatr asked the bystandsr.
"RailroadsT
mo; national dishes" answered the
traveller. "The hot tamale Of the Mex
ican, the goulash of the Hungarian, tho
chop suey of the Chinlz. are all known
to me and many others.
'The best Of them all 10 chop suoy.
The hot tamale Is too hot and has very
little nourishment to It. and goulaSh 70
too heavy. 1t tastes pretty good, but It
is not food to recommend to a man
with weak stomach. Chop suoy, how
ever. Is appetizing. easily digested and
very nourishing. 1t is the great eontTi-
button Of the orient to the occideht in
my opinion. 1t is made of rice, spTout-
ed beans. celery and chickens blood,
all mixed together in the form Of coup
and nicely seasoned"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-11
Told by tho Cards.

A young woman told tale Of cruel
desertion to the officers of an east side
charitable institution in New York, and
when her case had been disposed of
she started to leave the room, wailing,
"If had only believed the cardsw
She was asked to explain and said:
1--WE were engaged in Bohemia and our
parents were pleased with the match.
1t was all agreed what l should re-
ceive. and we were happy. Then my
father. to find out more about the
young man, invited him to play cards
with him three times, and when the
third card evening was over he said
No Only in cards a man shows his
true nature he said, and this man
showed me enough to show me that he
will not be good husband And then
when the match was broken came to
this country to my brother. Then Max
came, too, and we were married. But
the cards were right, and my father
knew" And dwelling on that point
and sobbing hysterically she left the
ofhce.-New York Tribune.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-11
Stree. Nams, in City Of M.xloo.

The street nomenclature in the City
Of Mexico is even more puzzllng than
that In New Orleans. Each block has
different name. Following the same
street, you successfully go through the
streets of st. Augustine, of the Angel,
of the Holy Ghost, of st. Joseph, etc.
From the street of the Rats you pass
to the street of the Crosses; from the
street of the Gate of Heaven to that of
the Love of God. Every shop also has
special name, as was the custom for
merly in Europe. / regret that l did
not jot down many curious ones. l
only remember a "pulque" drinking
shop called Los Perros (the Dogs, thus
plainly telling the frequenters what
they are going to. Another 'pul-
queria," directly opposite church,
calls itself boldly FL Castillo del Di-
ablo (the Castle of the DeviD. Anotll-
er is San Lunes (St. Monday. The
Mexican workman always celebrates
Monday as day of rest and dissipa-
ton. He will work on Sunday, but
not on Monday.-New Orleans Times
Democrat.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-11
Never Loses His Head.

Many years ago, when William J..
Stillman Of New York city was re.
porting q disturbance in Greece for
the London Times, report was sent
out that he had been beheaded. One
Of his friends, hearing the report, tele-
graphed to>the correspondent this mes
sage: "Rumor here that your head has
been taken of. Is 1t truer 1t was
not until the message had been sent
that 1t occurred to the sender that II
the rumor were true Stillman would
be the last man In the world to speak
about 1t. But the message reached
Stillman, and this was his reply: my
dear boy, newspaper man never
loses bis head"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-11
An Anelsnt Irish Custom.

In the district known as "the barony
Of Forth" In County Wexford, Ireland
Is to be found race of Woodworking
Industrious peasants living in thatched
cottages with clean. whitewashed walls
which by their perfect whiteness al
once arrest the attention of the visitor
These people differ In many respects
from the inhabitants of the other parts
of the same county and have habits
and customs peculiar to themselves
When funeral takes place two wood.
en- crosses are provided. On the way
to the cemetery a halt Is made at a
certain spot by the side Of the road.
Here prayers are said for the deceased
after which one cross is deposited In a
hawthorn bush or under 1t. The pro.
cesslon then goes on Its way, and after
the interment the other cross is fixed
at the head Of the grave. This strange
custom dates from time immemorlal
as the great pile Of crosses by the road
side indicates.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-11

A Laramie woman went to the the
ater the other night with some friends,
but when they were seated she was
separated from her friends by man
and woman who seemed to pay no at
tention to each other. The woman
figured out that If the two people
would sit over a seat she could sit
with her friends. Bracing up her
nerve, she said sweetly to the man.
BEG pardon, are you here aloneT'
The man stared at the curtain as II he
were drawing n salary for It. 81 beg
pardon" the woman said q little loud
er. "are you aloneT "Get wise" whIs-
pered the man hoarsely through the
extreme corner of his mouth; this Is
my wife."-Laramie Boomerang.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-11
Tin EiIIad Iaath.

"Do you know that tooth is filled
with tin" asked the dentist, tapping
one of his patients molars with his
little pick.
Indeed / do. That was filed years
ago by country dentist, and 1t is the
best filling l have ever had put in a
TOOTH"
"Of course 1t is. 1t is a pity more
people do not know that fact. The
only trouble is that tin is SO hard to
manipulate it costs more than gold
filling, and people will not pay the
price for anything which sounds so
cheap as tin. l have one customer,
though, who is educated. He is q
Wall street broker, and he will not let
me put any other kind Of filling into
his teeth except tin. He pays me $40
an hour and lets me take all the time
that is necessary. 1t is not so expen-
sive as 1t seems at first, however, for
once in u tin filling never has to be
renewed, whereas gold often does."--
New York Press.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-11
rhs Boa. For The Missouri.

The eccentric and variable Missouri
river has "a personal friend" In George
Fitch, who declares In the American
Magazine that the stream Is nayIgahle
enough If only the steamboats, would
conform to its peculiarities. "The Mis-
souri, river steamboat" says Mr.. Fitch,
..shculI he shallow, ii.hS. Geeii chested
and exceedingly strong In the stern
wheel. 1t should be hinged in the
middle and should be fitted with q
suction dredge, so that when It cannot
climb over a sand bar it can assimilate
1t. The Missouri river steamboat
should be able to make use of chan
mel, but should not have to depend up
on 1t a steamer that cannot on oc-
casion climb n steep clay bank, &c
across q cornfeld and corner river
that is trying to get away has little
excuse for trying to navigate the Mis-
souri,"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-11
Lack Of Ben Room on .ho Lnk.a,

The wind often reaches a very high
velocity on the lakes, blowing at times
sixty, seventy and on rare occasions
eighty miles an hour, when the great
feet Of lake craft Is sure to be depict.
ed by disaster and watery graves add
ed to the great marine cemetery. On
such occasions the sea raised woald
hardly Inconvenience an ocean going
tug, but by reason of the short dis
tance from shore to shore-"lack Of
sea room," the mariners term Ives
sells are unable to hold course in the
open waters and are driven by the
wind upon the treacherous beaches,
there to be pounded into splinters.
Danger turks everywhere In the shall
lower lakes-particularly Erie-where
vessels Of any considerable draft are
apt to pound bottom If caught In a
storm and go to pieces like shattered
wineglass.-NewY York Post
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-11
How to ston Runawaxn.

The policeman had stopped the run.
away very neatly. Now, though puff
ing little, he was quite calm.
ITS nothing to stop a runaway" he
said as he wiped his foam covered
hands. ut is like jumping on or of d
moving carload easy when you know
how. What you want to do when you
see runaway tearing toward you is
not to stand still, but to run all your
might in the same way the nag's ago
ing. Then, when 1t catches up to you.
you grab the bride and keep a-run-
ming. Then you are not thrown, you
are not trampled on, and in a minute
or two the horse slows down. I've
stopped dozen runaways without an
accident. It's part Of our training, and
the policeman who would refuse to
take chance would be disgraced the
same as a soldier who would refuse to
6ght." York Press.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-11
ons ou.,,lon Too Much.

The servant problem was under dis
cussion, and experiences" we're being
related. Several women stopped talk
Ing at the same moment, and the 81.
lence. which had lasted nearly two sec
onds, was broken by young matron.
who said: "But, ladies, that's all moth
ing TO what happened to me last week.
Ny cook left me, yeu know, for no
earthly reason except that she told the
chambsrmald we starved the help.
The idea! Well. 1 went to the intelli-
gence office and after long search
found the girl wanted to take Mag
gie's place. She answered every Ques.
ton to my satisfaction until asked
her, Why did yeu leave your last
placer Then she got red in tie face,
threw her head back and said In an
angry tone: because wanted q
change. Why did your last cook
leaveT And before could answer she
turned away, saying, You'll not suit.
Now, isn't that dreadfulT And then
all the other women told dreadful
stories.-New York Tribune.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-11
Know More Than the JUDGE.

Justice Maule, one of the greatest tu-
dlcial wits of England, had doubts as
to the credibllity of witness on one
occasion, and the man declared that he
had been welded to truth" from In
fancy. That may be-" said the justice,
"but the question Is how long have
you been dlvorcedF A little girl was
witness before him, and he proceed
ed to ascertain whether she knew the
nature of an oath. The child in an
swer to questions said she would go to
heaven If she told the truth, but would
go to the other place If she told lies.
"Are you sure Of that, my dearT JUS
tice Maule asked. "Yes, sir, quite
sure" LET her be sworn" said the
court; "she knows more than do"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-11
South American Oil Birds.

One of the animal curiosities of South
America is the "oil bird" or guacharo.
1t breeds in rocky caves on the main
land, and one Of its faYorite haunts Is
the Island Of Trinidad. 1t lays its eggs
In nest made of mud. and the young
birds are prodigiously fat The natives
melt the fat down in clay pots and pro-
duce from It a kind of butter. The
caves inhabited by the birds are usual
ly accessible only from the sea, and
the hunting of them is sometimes an
exciting sport.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-11
Peculiar Vienna Custom.

The viennese take their pleasures
as regularly as they do their meals,
but they do not neglect business or
keep late hours. One thing perhaps
which helps to keep the young Viennese
Of moderate means and economical
mind regular in his evening hours Is
the fact that he must pay to get into
his own rooms after 10 o'clock. Wen.
ma is one vast system Of apartment
houses, and a house master is in
charge Of each one. At 10 o'clock he
locks the front door, end any one de-
string to get in after that hour must
pay for admlttance, and the old resi-
dent has no more right to key than
the ephemerol lodger.-London Graph
70
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-11

A man went to boxing Instructor
and asked him how much he would
charge him for twenty-five lessons.
The instructor told him his terms, and
tho lessons commenced. After two les.
sons the pupil, who was somewhat the
worse for wear, remarked to the pro-
fesRor: You see. wanted to take
enough lessons 80 that could learn
enough about the manly art to lick q
man. I've changed my mind now. !
guess will send the fellow down to
take the rest of the lessons"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-11
How a Fox Eacapad.

In the West Somerset country a fox
was hunted right down to the saashore.
and to the surprise of every one he
swan boldly out to sea. The hounds
were taken away, and after some min
utes the fox swan back, landed, shook
himself and trotted quietly away. The
master decided that his life was to be
spared, and he was hunted no more
that day.-Country Life.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-11
competltIon Too Keen For Him

A farmer during a long continued
drought invented machine for water
ing his fields. The very first day while
he was trying 1t there suddenly came
a downpour of rain. He put away his
machine.
"Its no use," he eald; "ye can dae
naething nooadays without competi-
tion."-Scottish Nights.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-11

You say he accused you Of being
untruthfulT
''Thnts what happened" answered
Piute Pete, with much embarrassment.
"And lives to tell the taller"
"Well, you see he used long words
In such 4 roundabout way that he was
out o town before l had hggersd out
exactly what he Observation-Disclosures
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-11
A Story of whswsII.

Sydney Smith said Of the great DR..
Whewell, master of Trinity college.
that science was his forte and om-
niscience his foible" On one occa-
sion two fellows of the college, think
Ing to get beyond his range, read up
the subject Of Chinese metaphysics and
then disputed about 1t In the doctors
presence. He listened In silence for a
time and then observed, "Ah, see
you have been reading d paper which
I wrote for an encyclopedia Of sci.
ence.I
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-11
alnm.o. obIeot 70 WalkIna.

The Siamese. above all nations In the
world. hate to walk. No such mode Of
progression is tolerated by Siamese
IL he or she can by any means ride. A
Venetian gondolier will walk some.
times, even a Hollander will ride on
his rough cart, but Bangkok man
not If he can help It His family boat
for him.-Windsor Magazine.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-11
Would Open Them,

"You told me your husband had
large, fine eyes. didn't notice It"
"Wait a minute or two till the NH
liner comes along with my new hat
and the BILL"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-11
Unfortunate.

she-So you tol6 Lady Buncomb she
looked as young as her daughter. That
:aught the old lady, know. He-Yes,
but 1t lost me the daughter.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-11
Attentions Ceased.

SIS Willie still paying attention to
Tillie?"
mo"
did he jilt herT
mo- he married er."-Illustrated
Bits.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-11

Circuit Court-Regular term be-
gins on first Tuesday Of March, June,
September and December.
County Court-Regular term be
gins on first Monday of January, April,
July and October.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-11
CITY.
COUNTY.

Judge of Circuit Court w. A. Parsons
Point Pleasant
Clerk of Circuit Court, A. L. Boggess
Official Stenographer,. =. E. C.Winger
Clerk of Co. Court. j. P. R. B. Smith
Deputy Co Clerk. Jos. H. Holloway
Co. Comm'rs. -. Bird Stone, PRIEST
Leon
-" 80. w. w. Jackson.
New Haven
Z" Nv. H. Vaught,
Point Pleasant
Sheriff. ..............J. 0. McDermitt
Prosecuting atty .........L. s. Echols
Assessor lst Dist R. E. Musgrave
Point Pleasant
I'd Dist. Walter e. Sturgeon
MERGERS Bottom
County Surveyor. Geo. E. ChiIds
Point Pleasant
Supt Schools. C. A. Green
Achf4r
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-11

From Germany we get the custom Of
celebrating gold and silver weddings.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1907-04-04

Washington, aroused and directed by
the evil spirit that reigns there. is
belching forth the lava Of political cor
ruption In a current broad and deep,
which is sweeping with frightful veloc-
ity over the whole length and breadth
scathed no green spot or living thing,
while on it's bosom are riding. like de-
mons on the wave Of hell, the imps of
that evil spirit and fiendishly haunting
all those who dare to resist its Destroy
ing course with the hopelessness Of
their efforts, and, knowing this, I can
not deny that all may be swept away.
Broken by it I, too, may be; bow to it
I never will. The probability that we
may fall in the struggle ought not to
deter us from the support of cause
we believe to be just. It shall not de-
ter me. If ever feel the soul within
me elevate and expand to those dimen-
sions, not wholly unworthy Of it's al
mighty Architect, it is when contem-
plate the cause Of my country, desert
ed by all the world beside, and stand
ing up boldly, alone, hurting defiance
at her victorious oppressors. Here,
without contemplating consequences,
before Heaven and in face Of the
world, I swear eternal fealty to the
just cause. as I deem it, Of the land Of
my life, my liberty and my love. And
who that thinks with me will not fear
lessly adopt that oath that I take?
Let none falter who thinks he is right,
and we may succeed. But if, after ALL
we shall fail, be it so. We still shall
have the proud consolation Of saying
to our consciences and to the departed
shade Of our country's freedom that
the cause approved of our judgment
and adored Of our hearts in disaster, in
faltered in >defending.'
Considering that the times were ex-
tremely peaceful and that the speaker
saw no bloodshed except what flowed
from the noses Of belligerents in the
groceries about Springfield, the speech
seems to have been unnecessarily de-
faint.
Following Up Douglas.
In 1910 Mr.. Lincoln was candidate
for presidential elector on the Harrison
ticket and stumped large part Of the
state. He and Douglas followed Judge
Treats court all around the circuit
'and spoke in the afternoons" The
Harrison club at Springfield became
thoroughly familiar with his voice.
But these one sided affairs were
not altogether suited to his temper.
Through his life he preferred joint
discussion, and the ADLER the man pit
ted against him the better he liked it.
He knew he shone in retort and sought