The Washington herald., 1907-08-18

I've favored al reforms
And at the time guaranteed
No business Wrecging storms
Il do not drink. I've set my face
'Gainst evils Of divorce
On trusts and on race suicide
think Alright. Ct course
''The negro problem is TO me
An easy thing to solve.
I'm full Of noble platitudes,
man Of stern resolve.
But what bout thesei They're nsusht 81 all.
To help me in the strife
haven't had a chance TO save
single persons life.
One advantage OF that neither mar
riage or giving in marriage idea in the
next world is going to be the abolition
OF in-law kin" said a young woman
met in market yesterday. I've always
envied Eve because she hadn't any,
haven't mother-ln-law. but George has
three aunts who brought him up. They've
called him poor, dear George ever since
We were married. and from a small
town In Pennsylvania they've bossed us.
I've had TO stay in town all summer be-
cause Aunt Hetty and Aunt Maria were
going abroad. and Aunt Julia couldn't
stay alone and wouldn't go anywhere to
board. She has the I believe in germs
line in her creed. and she doesn't feel
safe in any place she can't sterilize. Size
fumigated the whole house just as soon
as she came Chloride Of lime and car
bolic are like scents of Araby the blest
TO her nostrils. Last week George and
were asked out to Chevy Chase TO dine
I'd been wanting lingerie dress for
months and, asked out 70 dinner, just
had to have one. I few down town and
bought one. and had it sent out by spe-
cial delivery. I didn't get home till time
TO dress. and asked Aunt Julia whether
my frock had come.
oh, yes she said. 1t came an hour
ago. l always say you can't tell where
ready-made clothes come from, nor what
diseases you may get from wearing them.
] put your dress to soak in solution the
minute it came.
If il were not for that lovely certainty
of having no in-law kin, I shouldn't try
10 get TO heaven at all Il she'd been my
blood aunt could have called her names,
but you can't say word 10 an in-law
aunt"
I don't like to criticise anything MaTse
Henry WattersOn says, but really don't
see why ne should express pleasure with
himself because he hasn't fought for the
gospels Of short-haired women and long
haired men," It's a good deal like say
ing he never has shown fear when at
tackled by a pterodactyL Maybe there
was a time when short-haired women and
long-haired men stalked the earth, but
they're certainly scarcer than hens teeth
now. Personally, the only short-haired
women 1 ever knew were frivolous per-
sons, who wore their hair that way not
because they had any mission. but be-
cause they thought IL looked cute. And
Just now I can't think of any long-haired
man but Buffalo Bill I believe Or. Mary
Walker used to appear in our midst with
short hair, but then one expects vagarles
Of a self-made man. Certainly no other
woman physician cuts her hair short
The one I know best has hers marcelled
one a week ''Short-haired women and
'Tong-haired men" are terms Of reproach
that ceased 20 have meaning forty years
ago. If they ever were anything more
than figures Of speech. / am second to no
one in my admiration of Marse Henry,
but I do wish he'd leave those prehis-
toric terms out Of his vocabulary.
Speaking Of Mr. Watterson, 1t isn't once
in a coon's age that you hear the title
Kentucky has bestowed on him pro-
nounced in the proper Kentucky way. l
have heard him called 'Massa Henry,
and the idea that anybody of the stage
ever said 'AIassa" is one of the quaint
superstitions that have persisted ever
since Uncle Toms Cabin was written. l
have heard him spoken Of as Mars,
and that's not the way KentuCkians say
i& They don't even say 'MaTse'" Tor
that's a monosyllable. What they do say
is a word, not exactly Of two syllables,
but Of about a syllable and half. The
final is family sounded or limited at
rather. Il comes as near being silent
as q letter can be and still not be silent,
And out in Louisville you would be ex-
posed TO the suspicion of being an enemy
TO all Kentucky institutions If you added
"WattersOn' TO Marse Henry, it would
be exactly Ike calling the King Of Eng
land Edward Victim.
IF were a baby" says the woman
who notices things, I think I'd rather
belong TO a poor family than be born into
a silver-spoon set Somehow, babies seem
TO be more appreciated among the less
well 10 do. walk sometimes TO Dupont
Circle. There are plenty Of babies there,
all attended by nurse maids. They seem
10 have a dun time OF it. Even their
brothers and sisters don't pay much at
tention to them. They look sleek and well
fed, and most of the nurses are conscien-
tious and careful but It can't be anus
ing to be a baby in Dupont Circle. Some
times I walk to a park in what is as
nearly a slum neighborhood as Washing
ton possesses. Lots of babies there, and
nearly every one is in charge Of an older
sister. You wouldn't think taking care
OF a baby would be interesting. I'd rather
scrub for a living than do Il myself, but
those little mothers seem not TO mind
They are forever flying at the baby and
kissing it and petting IT, It's usually a
good baby, too and they treat 1t as if it
were doll. I've never seen a merrier lot
of little girls than the little mothers.
One day last week ] came upon two of
them disputing over very grimy-faced
baby In a gO-cart.
NS~A ti'i4S up ndiu uiiC Attlt girl
Oh. let me wheel him little longer
pleaded the other You said ] could have
him all morning for a penny
I want him. insisted the first 7 guess
he's more mine than he is yours; Mrs.
Smith said l could take him out
They were still arguing when a woman
who was evidently Mrs. Smith came. bun
die laden, from market. She settled the
matter by allowing the two to take turns
wheeling the baby UP and down the block.
I ventured TO say to her that presumed
a baby was a novelty to both little girls.