Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1907-07-27
CHAPTER xxx.
A Letter From the Dead

"AANs N%-S os1eCi 1h0 -tii-ldW, LIlf
Gracies, had come with their three
children to live with him and to look
after his boy and girl. Trouble be
tween his family and mine, original.
ing in some impertinences Of the old
est Oracle girl spread from the chill
dren to the grown people, until, when
he went into the White House, he and
| were the only two on speaking
terms | see now that this situation
had large influence on me In holding
aloof and waiting always for over
lures from him. At the time thought,
as no doubt he thought also, that the
quarrel was beneath the notice of
men.
AT any rate my family decided not
to come to Washington during his first
winter In the White House. lived
alone at the Willard. One afternoon
| toward the end of February | re.
turned there from the senate AMI
found Woodruff, bad news in his face.
What is it," / asked indifferently.
for | assumed 1t was some political
tangle.
Your wife-was taken--very ILL
very suddenly he said. His eyes told
me the rest.
IL had ever asked myself how this
news would affect me, I should have
answered that it would give me a SEN
sation of relief. But instead of re-
lief felt the stunning blow of wave
OF sorrow which has never wholly re-
coded. Not because loved her-that
I never did. Not because she was the
mother of my children-my likes and
dislikes are direct and personal Not
because she was my wife-that bond
had been CALLING. Not because / was
fond of her-she was one of those
cold. angry natures that forbid af.
lection. No; | was overwhelmed be-
cause she and had been intimates.
/ with all the closest interests of life
in common, with the whole world.
even my children whom | loved pas
sonately, outside that circle which
fate had drawn around US two. i'm
agine this is not uncommon among
| married people-this unbeatable break
in their routine of association when
one departs. No doubt it often passes
with the unthinking for love belatedly
discovered.
She did not suffer" said Woodruff
gently. 1T was heart disease. She
had just come in from ride with
your oldest daughter. They were rest
ing and talking in high spirits by the
library fire. And then-the end
eame-like putting out the light"
Heart disease! Often had noted
the irregular beat of her heart-a
throb. long pause, a futter, a short
pause, a throb. And l could remem-
Der that more than once the sound
had been followed by the shadowy APP
pearance, in the door of my mind. Of
one of those black thoughts which try
to tempt hope but only make it hide
in shame and dread. Now. the mem
DRY of those occasions tormented me
into accusing myself of having wished
her gone. But it was not so.
She had told me she had heart trou-
bic; but she had confided to no one
that she knew It might bring on the
end at any moment She left a let.
ctr. sealed and addressed to me:
Harvey 1 shall never have the cour-
age to tell you, yet l feel you ought to
know. l think every one attributes to
every one else less shrewdness than he
| possesses. | know you have not given
me the credit OF seeing that you did not
love me. And you were so kind and
considerable and SO patient with my
aAAk
deceived had | not known what love Ia.
think. to have loved and to have been
loved develops in a woman a sort OF
sixth sense-senstiveness to love. And
that had been developed in me. and when
1t never responded to your efforts to de-
ceive me, l knew you did not love me.
Well, neither did | love you, though 1
was able TO hide it from you. And 1t has
often irritated me that you were so I'M
observant You know now the cause Of
many of my difficult moods. which have
seemed causeless.
admired you from the irst time
we met. | liked you, | have been proud
OF you, l would not have been the wife
of any other man in the world would
not have had any other father for my
children. But have kept on loving the
man 1 loved before 1 met you
Why? l don't know. L despised him
for his weaknesses l should never have
both feared | would I think I loved him
because l knew he loved me, That Is
the way IL is with women-they seldom
love independently. Men like to love;
women like to be loved. And, poor. UNI
worthy creature that he was. still he
would have died for me. though God had
denied him the strength to live for me.
But all that God gave him-the power to
love-he gave me. And so he was differ
I emit in my eyes from what he was In any
I ones else In the world And loved him.
l don't tell you this because | feel re-
greet or rersorse l don't; there never
was a wife truer than |, for | put him
completely aside. tell you. because
want you to remainder me right after
I'm gone. Harvey dear. You may re-
member how | was silly and Jealous of
YOU. and think I am mistaken about nay
own feelings. But Jealousy doesn't mean
love. When people really love, think
it's seldom that they're Jealous. What
makes people Jealous usually Is suspect
ing the other person of having the same
sort OF secret they have themselves II
hurt my vanity that you didn't love me
and ii stung me to think you cared for
some one else, just as ! did.