The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-11-24
A Bird in the Hand
o
ey ELLIS PARKER BUTLER, Author of "Piss Is

until dinner is ready, and whether il
is at or II tonight makes no differ
ence to me-
1t is no wonder that when Arthur
dragged the cageful of turkey around
the house and Amelia came out to take
another look at it she should .ell him
that she was absolutely in love with
Mr.. Foster. and that she thought him
the incest real New Yorker she had
ever met.
The lunch was good, as it should
have been with all the trimmings of
the Thanksgiving dinner to choose
from, and when Mr.. Foster settled
himself in the big chair in the 2arlor
with good cigar between his teeth he
felt like a boy. Not because he was
smoking, of course, but because there
was something so different from hotel
life in the happy go-lucky way he was
spending the day. So when Arthur
said that while he would like to sit
and smoke with him, but that he real
| ly thought he ought to go out and get
that turkey ready to cook, Mr. Foster
jumped up and asked if he could not go
along. He said he had never seen any
one get d turkey ready to cook and
he would feel better if he stood up and
went out of doors, anyway. He was
so evidently in earnest that Arthur
said he would be glad to have him
some, and the two men walked through
the house and out to the place where
! the turkey was awaiting it's doom.
Mrs. Wilbur and Polish Anna were al
ready there looking at the turkey.
Mr.. Foster took a seat on the top
step of the back-stoop and laid his
arms comfortably atop of hi5s knees.
/ Mr.. Wilbur stood before the cage and
looked at the turkey with a frown.
What do you do frs: p" asked Mr.
Foster, with interest.
We'll. the first thing to do is to
kill it," said Arthur. First catch your
turkey and then kill it, and then-I
say Amelia. did you know your father
was going to send a live turkey?"
"Of course not" she replied, indig-
nantly. 4 never thought of such a
thing
How do you kill it?" asked Mr.. Fos-
ter
"Oh," said Arthur absently, for he
was examining the cage carefully TO
see where it was most assailable, you
cut its head off, or wiring it's neck
| Wiring its neck" pleaded Mr.. Eos
ter. go on and wiring its neck. I'd
like to see how you wiring its neck"
The turkey was so much like an Os-
trich in size that even Arthur laughe d.
The idea of wringing the neck of a tur-
key that looked as if it might be able
to wrestle with a full-grown man on
even terms pleased Mr.. Foster, and
he laughed heartily.
THE first thing" said Arthur, lis
to open this cage some way. Anna, get
me the hammer
| Anna. looked at Mr. Wilbur a minute
and then at Mrs. Wilbur.
Hammer" exclaimed Mrs. Wilbur.
Hammer, hammer" She made the
motions that accompany the driving of
a nail. and Anna smiled and went
cfeerfully into the house. Arthur lean
ed up against the cage and waited.
THAT is the worst of living in he
suburbs" he said we can't get any
but raw helps But Anna is learning
She came out with the potato mash
er, and a -gratulatory smile.
MOI exclaimed Arthur, and then,
before she could turn back, he changed
his mind. Never mind" he called
bring that. That will do as well as
the hammer"
He took the potato masher from her
1 and then hesitated.
II don't know that l want to open
this cage first. after ALL" he said
thoughtfully. If l do the bird will be
has likely TO come out and walk away
as not, and 1 don't believe any of you
would dare to stop it. What I want to
do is to get all ready for the slaughter
and then open the cage. Now, 1 need
la block to lay the turkeys neck across
l believe there is a block down in the
cellar that will"
He stopped short and looked al
Amelia.
by George he cried. I never
thought of that! We have no Ratchet
No, sir. we haven't a Ratchet or an AK
I'm the place! I wonder"
How do you chop your wood?" ask
ed Mr.. Foster. who was having the
best time he had nad for years.
1--WE use coal and gas said Arthur
seriously. I'VE heat with coal and
we cook with gas. I wonder-I wonder
if 1 could use a carving knife?"
He walked around the cage and
looked at the turkey critically.
IT don't believe you could Kill that
gentle creature with a carving knife,
said Mr.. Foster. Il don't believe YOU
would dare attack 1t with Ratchet
well, that is a fact" admitted Ar
thur. frankly. Il shouldn't unless Il
was a very sharp Ratchet. And then
should want the three of you to hold
the turkey while 1 welded the weapon
1.-THE idear cried Mrs Wilbur. IN,
hold that turkey, indeed! When you
kill it l am going into the house.
don't want to be around
And you know, Wilbur" said Mr.
Foster, "you can't expect your guests