New-York tribune., 1907-06-02
THE COME-ON CITY.
attractions of Los angeles Sarcast-
icaLlU Set Forth.

We are a city OF two hundred and fifty thousand
happy two-ounce souls and some few Mexicans.
Also several public service corporations. but they
DO affect the balance they have been
weighed and found wanton
This IS the only IN the country where every
one is engaged in the same business, for lives
are dedicated 10 one huge propaganda % Ply YOU
Fasteners out of-the ice and induce you 10 coma
into the garden. Climate is capital and
battle cry is Come on out the weather's fine"
In fact known as the Come-On City In
order TO facilitate business We have divided our
selves into five groups. each working independently,
yet all for the common boost:
Group \ consists OF the Realty Board Chamber
OF Commerce and railroads. and is known as the
Come-on Agents.
Group B-The real estate men, or horle-anders.
numbering some two hundred thousand
Group C-The Spiritual Shepherds ministers.
swamis. mahatmas. apostles healers and clairvoy-
ants. about twenty thousand.
Group D-The Culturines. consisting OF china
painters, burnt leatherers, miniature painters and
painters Of miniatures about twenty thousand
Group E-AIyself. the undertaken.
In this way get YOU here. find YOU hOTns.
care for your soul hand YOU your and ulti-
mately lay you away among the beEoDlss. Thus.
Group pulls of the iestas. bull and prize lights
and employs the Big Fish AT Catalina IL also
mails tons OF See California First" literature and
prints postals for the rest OF Us to mail TO the
old home" depicting huskinS oranges at Christ
mas time sitting meath the shade OF the shelter
ing palm reading about Boston blizzard.
Group B. the real estate men, meets every train
and endeavors TO sell you home before You have
got the alkah out of your eyes. Every one has an
automobile. and they can be seen dIshing madly
in all directions. with the travel stained tourists
strapped in, showing them the beauties or tho
scenery which would be visible if it wasn't Tor the
signooardS telling how beautiful IL IS II by any
chance YOU get by the station sentinel. there ara
others that Will attend TO your homely wants. for
every barber and bootblack sells and II
brosia in the cafe the barkeep will gumshoe up
SIP fountain pen INTO your hand ana set your
name on the dotted line before you know that you
When We have sold you a lot you discover you
nothng-but money.
Now that You can count your stIngs meath your
own hg tree you contemplate your soul Enter
In this you will find all for which your heart
-TheosOphists. AstrOlogers. FLYING Rollers
Ghristans Hoy RSsrs Sarv sceSsts E
thetic Buddhists MormGns and Mentantalizers, the
The high priests of many OF these cults are
here \, & so that You can attend the mother ehuFeh
When your soul has fnaHy achieved principle
fne arts. Enter Group D.
Here you have at your beck and call the , gTestest
army or artists that ever survived 6TainsIGIi 6Tai,ins
the china painters They are eNGusitely IenllnS lHS
are ably seconded by the Burnt Leather BriSaGeji
Which singes the missions on skins OF poGr, ,rJ AlJJ
OF OF the el%mshen school OF jewellers They hAt 10
attend TO his artistic needs and they are very sin
cere attenders CThe selling OF mining stocks Is sts1
classed among the fine arts. but would pEsASA
talking to You about IT the spOt.) .,.
Should You arrive here with punctured Sllo
and fail to survive these delights, We call upon
Group Z. -.
II after reading all this you don't believe tnaS
this IS the Garden of Allah. ask any OF the alOIS
said real estate men.
We two hundred and fifty thousands happy
two-Ounce souls, and when think OF al You POos
frostbtten chlOrides back East laugh ourssISs os
TO Sleep Come out. the weather'S nne' CVN
on!
s-Fleas? Now. Mr.. Editor that is not 5 k,na; q;
IL Is nothing but Jealous Eastern knock Ahu - -
for earthquakes. they're welcOme-we use thelh, ~
rock the kids to sleep.-Lester Roberts OF Los @Ni
geles. in Golfers Weekly.