The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1907-06-09
KNOCKERlNO POINTS
N OUT A FEW FLAWS.
Not With Malice, Bot Merely to
Enlighten an Old
Friend.

away from you, is therel' airily observes
Mr. Knookenno when upon entering the
dining car Of an early train FOR Philadelphia
the other forenoon he epiod an acquatnt,
10 taking breakfast at one Of the tables
I'LL just sit In for a beaker OF Java auo
let you tell me all you know. old pallie,
Hal You're there with the tanks break
fast, b Grapefruit 70 take up the lost
motion nj a salt maokerel TO give the
machinery a tune up. hey? I guess that
tsn't the souse's morning meal or nothing
\ What? That's what you have every morn
ing whether you've been out the night
before or not? Behave that cutting up,
Didn't | see you at 2 O'Clock this morning
Kicking up the beads Of the hiss fluids like
as IL somebody'd tipped you of that they
were going to stop making itand you wanted
10 get yours all at once before the shut
down? I'm as crazy as a fox. hey?
And say. old DO, not TO kick in or any
thing like that, | calculate that was a per-
fectly miserable looking brunette you
had at your table when 1-tush on that
blusherino stun. now. old mateyl Don't
! know that she was your second cousin
from Council Bluffs come to New York TO
study the model tenement system? Sure
she wasl Nothing to it! So you can tin
all that bizni Of looking chagrined.
What's that? You tell me not TO ad-
vert to the little matter when drop in at
your fiat, because your wife is sort o. pref
udiced against your Council Bluffs cousin
because She Oh, say, look your little
playmate Sunlocks over, will you? Did
you ever hear me make a crack like that?
Well, ! guess nix. A Il nobody else. I'm
the original mute and the organizer Of tho
Keep Still Association-leave it to me.
Ne for the boosting stuff all the time, and
when / can't conscientiously rap In with a
plng-well, il you can spring anybody
that ever saT me- using a mallet just send
him along 70 me and let me nave a peek
at him, that's all I'm saying.
Say, old top, where you going this sum
mer? Or is there going TO be any summer?
I see Freddie Slinkby is a repeater this year
ON that boarding up gag Of his. What?
You're not jerry to how he gave it out last
spring that no and his wife we're going
20 make a three months tour OF Europe,
and then boarded up the front door and
windows Of that dump of his up in The
Bronx? Well, we'll, / thought everybody
was in on hat one! Freddie's the good
enough scout, all right-Td be the last on
earth to hand him one-but that boarding
thing was the scream stuff, sure enough,
and you must have been camping out in
Labrador when it came of or you'd have
heard about it.
The best we can give Freddie is that it
his fault. but his wife's. She's
with the trance that she belongs. you
and her society bug is bigger'n a Pun
jab tree spider. 1t d be all right at that
II Freddie was able to cop out much, but
the best that he can drag down, hustling
pretty keen at that, is three or four thousand
a year, and that house up in The Bronx
hat she made him start to buy-it set him
back fourteen thousand, and he paid all OF
hundred down on twill keep his
beak to the milestone for the remainder of
ais natural life.
well, she's got Freddie trained so that
he'll nibble out of her palm, and so we give
: to the poor old jay that she was the one
hat framed up that phony tour of the
Continent and made him do that boarding
up thing. Yep, they closed up The Bronx
early in May. just as if the house had
been located somewhere on Fifth avenue
the park. and then they made the
-ounds Of all OF us with the adieu stuff,
cling us about how they were going to
the beaten track in pulling off that
European tour and only go to the places
where Americans didn't generally go and
like that, and blamed if we all didn't
it.
The only one that had any kind OF sus-
ricion was my married sister. Mrs. Rub
,~erino-the one that lives in Harlem, you
,nau-an1 uhan Ghp ingi1tan nnpp atyrtnn
he Slinkbys a nice send-ofT at the steamer
all that, why, you ought to we seen
map. They wriggled out OF the
end-or thing by saying that their steamer
eft Hoboken at 8 O'Clock in the morning,
II something like that. and that they
wouldn't think Of having their friends
tay up TO prowl around the piers at that
,arbarous hour. Even then / wasn't hep
o what my sister. Mrs. Rubberino's sus-
icions were, but she told me after the
had gone that she didn't believe
hey were going to Europe at all, and |
lad to admit to her that some OF the cir
did look suspicious.
well. the Slinkbys disappeared all right
n the day their 'steamer'-they were never
talking about their steamer
vas scheduled to sail. A month or so later
jimmie Gitnext and his wife went up to
county 10 visit Jimmie's sister. an
Invalid. The place where Jimmie's sister
ras staying was a farm about six miles
rom Liberty by blackboard, and who the
did Jimmie and his wife see. as
oon as they drove up TO the farmhouse.
Freddie Slinkby and Mrs. Slinkby
uuatting on the hot front rorch and trying
5 stampede the flies with palmleaf fans!
hey? Ho. no! Well. | should say
Of Both Jimmie and his wife told me tina
he Slinkbys looked like three cents worth
Z corrugated prunes in a smeary glass
ish, but Mrs. Sllnkby was right there, after
he first minute Of quick thinking, with some
DIT OF q hop narrative about having been
1mnloned, at the very minute Of sailing
or Europe, 10 take care Of AZ old uncle or
omebody or other who was minus a lung
? 90. and Jimmie and his wife Of course
4 'enl dow. light-no Use in rubbing il in
o peonle when they're down: that's the
'av Jimmie and Mrs. Gitnext looked at Il.
We'll, the Slinkbys came back 10 New
oFk soon after that and took down the !
cards from their Bronx plant, but now
started TO board 1t up again, al {
lough they've made no announcement
Z their plans for the summer. So II you {
Iest up with Freddie Slinkby within the {
ext few DAYS just ask him, will you
oull have some fun out OF it--if he's con- 4
smplating q saihng vessel trip 10 Terra /
Fuego or some such place. because, ,
gu can tell him, you'd heard that he was ,
up his Bronx house. and then
ist you watch Freddie's chart II you want ,
!, 50 fonrfeen diferenf onlora on ona I