New-York tribune., 1907-09-29
Chicago Intsr-ocean-

and humor the English the Scotch and the irish;
II is vile calumny that 1t requires a surgical
and some of the brightest of Britains wits have
Of h es 1t ans Is te cds have o o W
ther penuriousness. while those about the irish are
is the story of a scotchman who. when beset by
three footpads made desperate resistance and
injured his adversaries severely. When at last he
was overpowered and searched all they found on
HIM was crooked sixpence. One of the robbers
IF he had had eighteenpence he'd have killed the
There is too that classic in Punch of the
Scotchman returned home from visit to London.
~ had ma been there hour when bang! went
An Irtshman. asked TO define bull. replied:
IF you see thirteen cows lying down in a field
Sir Boyle Roche. VINO was famous for his slips in
use OF language wrote in letter: AT this
with a sword m one hand and a pistol in the
irish House Of COMMONS thai Single misfors
tunes never come alone, and tho greatest of all
greater"
Another well meaning Irshman said to dis;
tlnsushes man on HAom he hoped to make good
Impression; IN @ b sir II you ever come within aN mile
Again. gentleman remarked to another. re-
ferring TO third: You thin. and thin.
But there are plenty of others besides the irish
who make bulls. One OF the most extraordinary
Italian A lunatic called a gentleman in Venice
and announced himself as the Angel Gabriel.
But" said the gentleman when I saw you
year ago you said that you were Lucifer.''
so am" said the lunatic. but by different
do not believe that I am guided by prejudice
when L declare American humor 10 be the best
and the most comprehensive in the world. The
older nations Joined TO give us BIRTH and their
the upbuidng of our race 1t is therefore inevita-
BILE that we should draw from every source of wit
OF youth gives to all a new vitality.
We have the meditative humor of the German;
where the widow brooding over her deceased
spouse. remarked plaintively:
If John hadn't bowed into the muzze Of his
was was such a good day for them!'
little girl having been naughty. told by her
mother to add to her usual prayer a petition that
And please. God, make Nellie good little girl
Then with Pions rgSignatonj nc d NeVertheiess'
often we are cynical, like the French, A hus-
band said that when he he Was Fst married a ed he 50
terward he was sorry that he hadn't.
harmless H1RPu English fun An Old lady on entering
an elevator said aid to tn tne tTsd prey so669
what u makes max you so tired, sonny? Is it the
going tI6 uBin nm -
rs it the going down.
Then what is it makes you so tired, sonny?"
It's the questions. ma'am-
his birthday" a mother asked her little son.
II know the answer: but I amt big
Josh Billings declared that hornet if it was
feeling well. could break up a whole camp meet
The late DR.. Ridpath told me a story-whethor
once when the poet was taking a walk through
was born the small boys threw mud at him
With extraordinary presence of mind Homer at
retired under a horse shed and wrote the
Iliad-to get
1t is recorded that during the Civil War a
a negro minister over age. a British subject
and habitual drunkard
cba riStip hat ata jjS-
tinctly in American humor is its quality OF
IL of or II Is Is always always aP
pearng everywhere else Talk of Vesuve,'' the
ss tSa Rns her ne Sam in
lieved the earth tipped when he went west In a
sippi gunboats said that their draft was light
they would float wherever the ground was a little
damp. was American who described the pigs
in his neghborhood as being so thin that the own
from crawling through the chinks in the fence
Ward abounded In similar absurdites. 1t he |
who said to the conductor of the slow moving |
train: Why don't you take the cowcatcher off |
amt anything to hinder cow from stroing into |
the and biting passenger
luctor who asked hoary headed. white bearded |
{ for to his Kou tieket saa the old man.
II guess not the conductor replied. ''Whered |
AT Buxby's Crossing"
why the conductor cried. there wasn't any
body got on at Buxbys Crossing except one little
II said the aged one, was that little boy
In oIr pins we have good the best else
where perhaps better. Certainly. I know OF
M double pun more clever than told
,oction with Mr. Joseph II. ChOate. That distin-
,uished gentleman was once arguing a case in
when his adversary referred |
n the Chasterfeidan urbanity of Mr.. Choate |
Mr. Choate made mention of the West |
besterneIdian suburbanity of the other gentleman |
ore less elegant, though quite effective. IS
,nown at the Lambs. On one occasion MEM
,er notorious for his aversion treating" |
troled into the cafe just as two other members
vere about to refresh themselves. They invited |
he penurious drink. and he accepted
..You don't know what I'm doing now he said
II writing my autobiography"
"Ahp' remarked of the two. With the ac-
ent the buy?
No amended the second with The accent on
he ought to- "
But there Is need multiply illustrations. /
There IS hardly paper pick up that has not
Is quota of amusing and clever sayings. We
bound in wit and humor and this is as 1t should
e. They cracked few jests. Puritan fore
ears amid the rigors and bleakness of the New