New-York tribune., 1907-04-18
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

The servant problem was under discussion and
Experiences were being related. Several women
stopped talking al the same moment. and the ST.
lence. which had lasted nearly two seconds was
broken by young matrou, who said: But. la
dies. that's all nothing 20 what happened 70 me
last week Ny cook left NE. you know for no
earthly reason except that she told the chamber
maid We starved the help. The idea Well, went
TO the intelligence Office and after q long search
found tho girl I wanted 10 take Maggie's place
She answered every question 70 my satisfaction
untn asked her. Why did you leave your last
placer Then she got red in the face. threw her
head back and said IN angry tone: Because
wanted change. Why did your last cook leave7'
And before could answer she turned away say
Ing. You'll not suit Now. isn't that dreadfulY'
And then all the other women told "dreadful'
stories.
Editor-But all these Jokes can't he original
Ron n you 6no" there are only seven original Jokes
Humors! (egoustIcally)- )-well-er-I wrote the
new use for fender was discovered IN
Philadelphia day last week when a Rsntd
Transit employe. evidently OF duty. ran to a car
and. placing coIlapsible go-cart on the fender
took his place as a passenger on the front Mat
form The Incident Witnessed by a cro,rd
who thought there some mistake untD tbs
smiling countenance Of the doubtless happy Young
iaIheF maze II clear that ne knew exactly what he
doing and meant Il.
Well said the professional humorls,. II under
STAND the railroads no longer employ men over
thirty-ave years OF age; believe they are Wis
Of YOU :, editors were ~ o,,, "nat would become
TO 1okesf'-HOuston Post s' -
Extraordinary stories being told about N. ~,
cTeasing scarcity and value OF sables vb,cb r.,
don paper says people are beginning to pass down
as heriooms 20 their descendants sable coat
which two years ago would have cost 500 on ,.,Is
be valued $4,000 as $50 Is AZ ,,roso. -,
asked for single skin The two mos, rostI,. .n,s
coats In the world are by the Ennress 90
Russia and her cousin. Queen Maud OF Norway
Ihe COAT IN the possession OF the Empress Is made
Of the finest sables which could he obt,I,o1 q,
Europe and is worth about S2sOON vrhVo =, -.
which Queen Maud wore when she wen. v,,r -
Haakon to the famous GuiIdhaH banouet =, tne
early part or the winter Is probably worth sl5oOo0
WHO'D BE MART1AN7
II the cope , that grave philosophers are doping
They've got handicapped 70 rra21Ie{6 rr,1e{ Mars
Upon that most beIligerent Of stars 'at'ers
get Il that in thInl-tank convolut,ons
They've mira Tavs and So.h i9h s, years the lead
Telepathy's simple stunt indeed iS'anced;
Well y may he rather suhlimated pleasure
r.'s To m inhahIt that much irrigated land:
To think of what Mars husbands have to stSg stSn1
IT'S true she's Just mite. the Martian rno,1on
In robes OF almost liputian trim: i1iueh'
For tong ancestral auto locomouon
Has reduced to lowest terms her form and limb
And OF predigested food have tapered
Her tiny teeth to dainty tips Of pearl:
Her chin and jaw have quite completely vart.,,
To a point that's very restful In a girl
Above her mystic eyes OF deepest splendor
Her polished brow looms up massive dor,o
Nor on that head Or those Of thOughf1 Si foTebesr,
For countless ages hair has found a home 'ears
No doubt with her superior information
She'd solve domestic problems In a trice
But tell me. do you think that you'd be ham,
II you should risk the altar and the rice?
Could you meet the search OF telepathic opt,oa
When you debOuched from the club al -
Just imagine, when detained late at the ofIcas
What martial scOrn you'd have to face In thar,
When overcome by triiing derection
And you're eloquent with reasonable excust
You may keep q face opaque Sphinx in F9VJDt.
II your brains an open book why. what's the
user
When earthly angels learn our curves so quickly
There's room for honest doubt and earnest feSrss
OF possible domestic complications
When multiplied by some ten million years
GAREtET SMITH
ideas from America. WOrshippers az Buddhist tom,
pies invariably wash their hands Ia a fountain az
the entrance before making their supplications
Formerly the pTfests hung towels there Now tha
merchants OF Toxic and other cities furnish IN.
temples with free towels Teservtug the prfvilare
OF printing their advertisements them.
Il admit he's lazy. but he has the making OF a
good man In him.
out Of him Fu'-PbtladelDhla Press 80