Los Angeles herald., 1907-09-08
FUNNYGRAPHS

1.-THE department of agriculture has
figured out" he read from the paper,
that rats cost the people OF this coun-
try 100,000,000 a year."
"John Henry" replied his wife. "I
don't believe word Of it. Why, mine
only cost 25 cents; some women make
fiat. Huh! can't tell me."-Philadelphia
Ledger
Pat-Oi wint on sthreik for short
er hours last week.
Mike--And di yez git 'em?
Pat-Faith an OF did thot. It's me-
silf as amt workin' at all now.-Chi-
cago News.
'You say you must leave. Mary because
you are tired of the way the food is cooked.
Why, you cook IL all yourself"
That's just 1t, maam. / was told you
made splendid pastry, and I've been waiting
all these months to taste bit."-Fliegende
Blatter.
''Ah,'' said the suffrage leader joyously, "at
last some of our sisters are so elevated mere
man has to look up to them"
(which sisters?" fastened the excited crowd.
why. the sisters who are driving hanson
cabs"
81 had no idea when 1 penned this little
THE poem shows it. madam. - Houston
Pest.
Look at him. Haggard, heartbroken, alone''
And his wife is at the bridge table"
Yes; it's the old story. He married her TO
reform Washington Herald.
Kncker-What is a square deal?
Bocker-A triangular circle.-New York Sun.
Benevolent Old Mani am sorry, Johnny. TO
see you have black eye.
Promising Youth-You go home and be sorry
for your own little boy-he's got two!-Illus-
trated Bits.
She-This dress cost 200 marks, and the tailor
promised to mako any alteration in 1t that
required.
He-well. then, you had better ask him to
alter the price.-Mesgendorfe Blatter.
Fritz-Papa. do buy me a trumpet.
Father-A trumpet Not I! A nice noise we
should have at home.
Fritz-o papa. do. I'll blow 1t when you are
asleep-Lustige Blatter.
Soon the festive iceman.
With his usual cupldity
Will get dime for a cents
Worth Of aqueous frigidity.
Ethel-How long can human being iiva
Jack-I don't know about human beings.
bur know poets who have been writing for
ars-Judge.
Pat--The next wan ov them chauffeurs as
runs over NELL be sorry for ut
Thomas-And why's that?
Pat-I'ye got tin O. nitgroglycerin in me
Ieacher-Is there any connecting link be-
tw cen the animal and the vegetable kingdom?
| Bright Pupil-Yes, mum; there's hash.--
Philadelphia Inquirer.
'I don't know whether I'll be able to keep
my place or not, the missus likes me, but
the master DON'T
Then you're all right. but If the master
liked you 1t would be all off."-Houston Post.
Madge-They criticised my bathing dress
shamefuly
Marjorie-I think they had very little to talk
about.-Illustrated Bits.
Laborer's wife Ito doctor-what is the mat
ter with my husband?
| Doctor examining the patient)-I wiu tell
you in a minute
Laborer's wfe-You won't make it anything
expensive. viii you sir?-Fliegende Blatter.
"The first time took snun after we were
married my wife tainted"
What did you do?"
81 took another pinch before she came round
again n"-Fliegende Blatter.
Little Bo-Peep lost her sheep,
But did not shed tear;
| 'Oh, fudge with the sheep" said little
| Bo-Peep,
II still have my Teddy bearl''
Chicago News.
whats that sign you're making theren'
| asked the grocer
Fresh Eggs replied the new clerk.
HIM! Make 1t read Fresh Laid Eggs
while you're about it,
What for? Everybody knows the eggs were
fresh when they were laid"
Gust so. and that's all it's safe for us to
say about hem-"-Catholic Standard and
Times
Eva-You seem to have a great deal OF
trouble with your automobile What do you
call it7
Jach-True love;
Eva-True love? Graflous! Why?
| Jack-Because true love never did run
emooth. -chicago News.