davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15
PHILIPPINE WHITE ELEPHANT.
Manila Paper Tells what Is Needed
i'm Islands
From Fl RenaciH snto, Manila.

rum II isfLldtLA -A'fr NAdlAltt
There is a story that once upon a
time an Eastern prince presented an ele-
phant 10 a poor, but honest man as a
mark Of his favor Fear Of giving ofense
prevented this poor man from refusing
the gift OF from disposing Of this expe1-
sive burden; therefore, besides making a
miserable existence for himself and his
suffering family, he had 10 feed the vora-
cious elephant, and this has passed into
the proverb: He has an elephant on his
hands"
The Philippine people Will patiently
Z feed and care for a few Of these man
( ifestations Of love and good will" be-
cause. as TAFT said they are childish.
. but when those who, against our will
and without our consent are not only
wasting all our revenue but importing
highly paid experts 20 study new alb
surdiues on which 90 spend new taxes
or increase existing taxes, we feehly beg
20 be excused from having further gifts
forced upon US.
Just now we are threatened with the un-
sought and useless gift Of deep sea
fishing steamer called the AlbatrOss. for
a country Ike the Philippines. composed
of more than 300 islands where. so to
speak, the coast line is crowded with
shallow sea fishing.
We have a fleet Of coast guard steam
ers built at an enormous cost Of unwill-
ing taxpayers money. apparently for no
earthly use. II seems that when the
commission was al Benguet and decided
that no more money could possibly be
spent on that road that season they de-
Cided that il would be a capital plan to
build a lot of steamers something like
private yachts, so by figuring out the
number Of miles to and from dellghtfuI
places. suitable q visit on inspection
tours CD and then calculating the num-
Der Of miles approximately that could
be travelled a day, contracts were given
10 Shanghai and elsewhere 20 build coast
guard steamers and a bureau Of naviga-
tion was established
These coast guard steamers would not
do for deep sea fishing" chiefly because
II they were thus employed. it would pre-
vent this new deep sea bureau being
formed and, furthermore, these coast
guard steamers cost about $50 per dav 10
run, so most Of the time they are tied up
at Engineers Island Only now and again.
when a commissioner wants TO come from
Japan two or three days earlier than
could be done by a regular liner. do
these coast guard steamers seem to carry
out the subtle idea for which apparently
they were built No one has ever sug-
gested any other use for them.
II is not new deep sea bureau" that
the Filipinos need as much as a balloon
to raise taxes TO supply the present
bureau chiefs with enough money TO car
~ out their extravagant ideals.
Yes, we have had a whole drove Of eIe-
plants forced upon us that We feed out
Of our poverty.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15
Men Wanted.

Within the past few years the feminine
part of the world has made such progress
that It has almost seemed as if mere man
were to be shut out altogether. OF
course. a nice man. with real money,
can even yet find a niche but many
modern women think. undoubtedly. that
the money would be much nicer without
the man.
1t is all right for a man to buy a sixty
horsepower automobile. but. having
bought it. the woman can run it with as
much skill as he can. She may say she
had better time without him. too.
In every walk of life. these modern
days. we find women holding more than
their own. They are beating the men
clerks; they make the best nurses; they
are attorneys in our courts; they are
skillful doctors, and. more recently. they
have taken to cab driving, and seem to do
Il we'll
The only CLEAN Of hope we poor men
have had recently comes from the Con-
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15
Scnt of Dick,s Power.

There are wheels within wheels in Ohio
Republican politics, and the real inmost
wheel is the executive committee Of the
State central committee. Senator Dick
is chairman OF this executive committee.
which is composed Of the pick Of the
politicians Of the general organization.
lu his Gay Mark Hanna held a tight grip
on this inmost wheel. and II was by this
means that he was enabled 20 swing the
party TO suit his purposes. Thus far Sen
ator Dick has had only one opportunity
90 show bis fitness as Hanna's successor.
That was last years State convention.
held at Dayton. Through the executive
committee he dictated the selection OF
delegates in o sufficient number Of coun-
ties 20 give him and Senator Foraker
control at Dayton II will be recalled
that the administrations proposition then
was 10 have the convention give the Ohio
Senators a less cordial Endorsement than
that 60 be given Secretary Taft The en-
terprise failed. and Senators Foraker
and Dick came out Of the fray with fly
ing colors. An analysis Of the executive
committee published few days ago by
the Cincinnati newspaper owned by Sec
retary Tafts brother showed that, by a
majority Of about two 20 one, the Fora
ker-Dick combination controlled. Whether
the Senators can retain their grip on the
executive committee is the real question
a. the present stage OF the factional war
fare in their State If they do. the fight
probably viii be liveieT than administra-
ton supporters outside of Ohio seem to
think il will be.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15
THE OPTIMIST.

There was fine food for thought in that
utterance Of DR.. S. Weir Mitchell. report
ed I'm The Washington Herald the other
day: Il get tired" he said. "of hearing
these men talk about nothing but millions
and billions, and not a word said about
educational or moral progress, or litera-
ture, or poetry. Why has the nation got so
infused with commercialism that men can
talk Of nothing but dollars and cents?'
It would seem so, indeed, And it might
seem rather a topic for a pessimist.
this thought of how the dollar enters into
our daily life. II is worse here in Ameri-
ca than in other countries, unfortunately,
for we. disregarding from the first titles
or honors due 20 birth or breeding, rave
come perilously near 10 the recognition
Of an aristocracy of dollars. OF course.
even among our plutocrats we have some
notable examples Of what is called benev-
olence, and we. as a people. have some
thing like awe and reverence for the
man who gives away actual money, mil
lions at a time But, after all, II is the
dollar-worship in our blood that makes
US pay the due Of rather extravagant
laudation
Our most notable Illustration OF Million
dollar philanthropy. Of course, is Mr.. Car
negie, who. with his libraries his castles.
and his Carnegie medal, is a world wide
example. But it is the vast extent Of his
giving, rather than the gifts themselves,
that excite attention. He says. with some
JUNCTION. that it is a disgrace to die rich;
but it is safe to predict that the Laird OF
Skibo will not die in poverty.
In the meantime, has Il ever cost him
to give; TO endow libraries; to award
medals for bravery bearing his name? In
actual figures he has given millions, but
without any deprivation, To donate mill
lions he has had 10 sacrifice nothing.
In the meantime it will be well for us,
who have no large surplus over our daily
needs, 10 remember that Butler. in his
"Hudibras," was wrong when he wrote:
Tis true we've money. tn only power
That all mankind falls down before.
So fa- from that we find that true
happiness does not lie in the possession
Of great wealth. Great fortunes never
wrote the books that help men TO live
better lives. Money cannot write the
sonnet that, striking a responsive chord.
shall inspire a soul 20 high endeayOr
Money is not charity, nor hope, nor low
ing-kindness. These, which are the gifts
Of those in humblest stations, are, after
all. the real things Of life
We live in deeds not years in thoughts not hreaths
In feelings not IN fEIres on a dial
We should count time By heaTJ-thrnbs He most lives
Who thinks most feels the uoblest, acts the best.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15
Burton VIII Tell Things.

A week from to-day former Senator
Burton, Of Kansas. will begin at Wichita
a speaking tour OF that State IN which he
purposes 20 tell the people all about the
inside working Of things In Washington.
He win make his prosecution and cOnvic-
ton on criminal charges while a member
Of the Senate the basis for a slashing at
tack on the conduct Of numerous men
who now enjoy the national confidence.
He will be particularly severe on Presi-
dent Roosevelt, whom he holds primarily
responsible for the singing disgrace put
upon him by the Federal court at St
Louis, which sentenced him 10 a six
months prison term for violating the
statute which forbids members Of Con-
gress pracucing for pay before the exec
utive departments in Washington
i is said that Burton still has a con-
siderable following IN Kansas that VIII
raly Loyalty and enthusiastically TO his
support and It is. thereto 2. expected
that his tour viii provoke great political
excitement among the mercurial Kausans
Col Dave Mulvane. the Kansas member
OF the Republican National Committee. IS
said to be sticking 20 Burton stsnchly,
and it is presumed that Mulvane is fnan-
cling this latest sensational move Of Bur
ton
incidentally. il is interesting 10 recall
that the only comment made for publica-
tlon by the President upon the scorching
letter Of l.. H. Hartman was. How
lucky IL is that l am attacked at the
same time by Hartman and Burton"
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15
MEN AND THINGS.
Foraker and the Rate BiII.

II view of the apparent certainty that
Senator Foraker has made up his mind
to fight to the last ditch in Ohio. brief
recital of the real inside history of the
part he took against the administrations
Tailroad-rate bill at the first session Of
the last Congress may be interesting
The statement can be made without the
least shadow Of doubt or uncertainty that
before he boldly threw himself into the
breech in the memorable rate fight Sena-
tor Foraker had been promised the TN
yielding support of a majority Of the
Republican Senators. His party col
leugJes selected him before Congress met
70 lead the opposition TO the administra-
tion's railroad policy, which had been
plainly foreshadowed in the Presidents
message toward the close Of the last
session Of the Fifty-eighth Congress. Be
tween the adjournment Of that Congress
and the assembling of it's successor, Sen
ator Foraker spoke out plainly in news
paper interviews and in public addresses
against the programme marked out by
the administration. He had the solemn
assurances Of the dominant element Of
The Senate that he would be Loyalty sup
ported in his antagonism to the admins
tration.
But the Senate is a wary body-warier
even than the sagacious Ohio Senator
His colleagues encouraged him 10 persist
in his opposition. How well he kept
faith with them Is now a matter Of his
tory. But when it became obvious TO
those who had encouraged him TO lead
the fight that they could wiring from the
administration a satisfactory compromise
on the court-review Professionalism was
the sole stumbling block in the way
they quietly deserted the dashing Ohioan
and left him exposed to the concentrated
fire Of the raIlroad-reform hosts. Mr.
Foraker swallowed his pride. his indigna-
ton, his natural feeling Of personal out
rage, and persisted to the end in the atti-
tude he had assumed at the opening Of
the battle. Should he ever speak his
mind about the case. there doubtless
would be such an exposure of Republican
Senatorial closet skeletons as has not
been made in many a day.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15

gregational Church. which issues an ap-
peal that ''men are wanted in the church,
and at once, to supplement female grace
and devotion with masculine vigor and
directness."
So there is hope for us after all. Along
the path Of Congregationalism the women
still need US. and, perhaps. if we are good,
they will allow us to see them home.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15
Afternoon Horseback Rides.

Now that Washington is having fair
weather that somewhat resembles the
meteorological conditions of mid-May,
the President and his select friends are
indulging the Presidential bent for horse
back riding Nearly every afternoon Mr..
and Mrs. Roosevelt leave the White
House about o'clock in an open carriage
and drive out TO the bosky surburbs be-
yOnd Georgetown, where a detail of en-
listed men from the cavalry at Fort
Myer are awaiting with horses from the
White House stables for the President
and the first lady of the land" Two
OF three Of the Presidents riding COM
panions also are at the tryst, one Of
whom usually is Senator Lodge. The
President and Mrs. Roosevelt don riding
hats and coats Immediately after their
carriage reaches the designated spot in the
woods and upon their spirited mounts
traverse the deeply embowered paths of
the forests in the neighborhoOd OF Cabin
John Bridge. They take the Massachu-
setts avenue route back to the city
Persons who have seen them on their
horses recently have remarked that Mrs
Roosevelt seems 10 be a better rider
than her illustrious husband. She sits
her mount with apparently more ease and
confidence than he, and seems to enjoy the
outing better. The President wears a
rakish slouch hat that flops down over
his eyes and accentuates the stopped ap-
pearance Of his shoulders Senator Lodge.
by the way, rides a flighty looking nag
with a cropped tail, and is the most nat
tily attired member ol the Presidential
party. Experts say that he sits his mount
too stifly to secure the full benefit of the
exercise. while othe. persons who have
patri0tically saluted the distinguished cav
alcaGe state somewhat critically that the
Massachusetts statesman is SO en-
crossed with the task of manipulating the
reins that he fails to return their salutes
by even a twitch of his eyelashes.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15
Our Merchant Marine.

From the Brooklyn Eagle
About the severest commentary on our
failure to develop a fast merchant ma
rtne is found in L. fact that mails FOR
South America are now dispatched to
their destination by way of Europe. and
time saved in the process, It is actually
quicker to let European liners carry the
mail bags from Southampton and Havre
to Rio Janeiro than to send them direct
30 that port from New York.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
CHEER UP.

Sodden, angry skies Of slate,
Clouds Of inky hue.
Such has been our somber fate
All the winter through.
Rain and hail and endless SHOWS,
Ashen days and gray.
We have had enough Of those.
Smile a little, May!
We had better hopes Of spring:
Slowly now they fade.
But as yet we stanchly cling
To the tickle Jade.
After ApriTs scowling reign
Pattern not. We pray.
Let US have the sun again;
Smile a little, May,
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15
niasnlNeh.

Towne-I just saw Fetherley, and he
was very happy, indeed.
Browne-Why, that's funny. saw him
this morning and he seemed gloomy
enough He told me he was having a
peck Of trouble.
Towne-Well. he seems 10 have disposed
Of the peck In a pint flask
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15

under such a bunch of names as Alfonso
Pho Christiano Edwardo Frencesco Gull
lermo Carlos Enrique Fernando Antiono
Vanamcio, to say nothing of an array Of
official titles too numerous to mention.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15
Adhinr In.nIt tn Ininrr.

why am I gloomy" demanded the
undesirable suitor whom she had heart
lessly ignored. isn't it enough 10 make
man gloomy 10 be cut by the one he
loves best2"
THE idea" exclaimed the heartless
girl, 7 didn't even know that you shaved
yourselfn
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15
Surely Not.

From the New York World.
Doubtless says Secretary Root in
New Haven. there have been abuses" in
connection with campaign contributions.
but in the main there is no more useful
expenditure Of money" than that of the
national committee, But surely the end
does not justify the means when the
means is larceny cleverly concealed by
fnrgcrN2
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15
Proof of Americauiz.ttou

From the Louisville Courier-Journsl.
The Singapore Free Press rises to re-
mark that it is a wonderfully lucky
thing for politicians that the public has
a short memory. The Americanization Of
the Orient seems to be an accomplished
fact
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15
The Passenger EIerntnr.

"Bragloy claims TO have built the first
passenger elevators ever used in this
country"
Nonsense The Mississippi steamboats,
were running and blowing up regularly
long before he was born
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15
The Very Place.

Il think" said young Trotter. TN
draw that money Uncle John left TO me.
I'm thinking Of a trip abroad"
But" protested his mother, you were
TO save it for a rainy day"
"Well, I'm going 10 London. I'll be
sure to find a rainy day there
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15
The Ola ParsOn.

Your minister has an abrupt manner. -
Yep"
Why do you tolerate it?''
'Becuz he hain't never displayed no
hankerin' fer an affinity as yit."
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15
An Almost-toUn.

Yes, live in ST. Paul"
Then Minneapolis &C. n near city?"
That's what we think"
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15
Not This Year.

Tell me some rhymes for May"
Gay. hay. play ray are all good
rhymes"
But none Of those rhymes are pertinent
10 the subject"
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15

Crises in Great Britain would not be
matters OF such grave moment were 1t
not for the fact that they invariably bring
forth one of Rudyard Kipling's near
n
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15
Close.

From the New York Herald.
London caterers are becoming mighty
close They are objecting now be-
Cause American patrons take away silver
knives, forks, spoons, and other table
ware as souvenirs
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15
Texas, ,Iagnificent Darkness.

Fr1m the Houston Post
Thursdays great storm put out the
city's lights and left it in inky darkness
II gave the younger generation an oppor-
tunity TO observe, however, that even
Texas darkness is ten grades finer than
that of any other State.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15

The New York Mail thinks a newspaper
paragrapher can only get TO heaven pro
vided he can secure a free pass previ-
ously. Hope it isn't going to be as hard
to get to heaven as it is 10 get a free
railroad pass.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15
Marvellous MACHINERY

Wonderful" said the professor, rs the
strength Of the human jaw
And" added the married man. think
OF its tirelessness"'
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15
An Adnre Reviscd.

THE President is apt to ask you who is
the best man In the army?'
'Well?"
Say Wood and risk nothing"
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15
The Hired Girl.

Monday she washed and ironed. and oh
Our hearts near busted,
But Lonelyville alas, is slow
Tuesday she busted
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15

A Canadian lawyer has returned a 5000
fee 10 the government, announcing that
the honor he won IN conducting the case
for it was more than sufficient COmpensd-
ton. Canadian lawyers seem TO lack the
polish and poise Of modern civilization.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15

Tennessee has a law which requires
every fish caught in the streams of that
State 20 weigh not less than two pounds
Must be a mOllyCoddlish lot of fishermen
in Tennessee if they cannot keep their
fish yarns above that limit without legis-
lation.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15

In list Of "ten best things to eat" the
Charlotte Observer puts shad down as
No. 9. OF course, there is a vast differ
ence between North Carolina red-horse
suckers. sometimes called shad and the
real star-spangled variety Of shad that
grows in the Potomac.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15
Just "a Huge JoLa

7 wonder why it is said that AL the
world loves a lover%
Il guess its because the world thinks
IT'S such fun to hear his letters read in
court
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15

One San Francisco man is on trial for
killing another who had a habit of sing
ing on the street cars. The jury may find
the defendant guilty, but he certainly is
entitled to a recommendation to the
mercy of the court.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15
Ont Of Sight.

From the Savannah News
The submarine boat Octopus can re-
main out of sight for several hours at
time But that's nothing to the length
.of time the Standard Oil octopus can
remain out of sight.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15

Mr.. ". T. Stead says he cannot see that
Chicago has improved in the past four
teen years. and Chicago does not appear
TO seriously resent the statement Some
times a knock is a boost
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15

The Taft boom seems to be thoroughly
impregnated with genuine Roosevelt
luck" Former Senator J. Ralph Burton
has delivered a broadside against IT,
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15

A Baltimore doctor says pie is one Of
the greatest enemies man has II doesn't
seem 10 disagree especially with Mr.
George B. C0rtelyOu. and he has sampled
a various assortment
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15

Roosevelt is far and away the most
popular man in this country" SAYS Mt.
John W. Gates. Certainly: the farther
away, the more popular he is with Mr.
Hartman
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15

'Marse Henry says he can tell Mr..
Bryan the name of a fit and proper nomi-
nee for the Democracy Since that Chat
tanooga incident however, Mr.. Bryan is
thought TO be a bit shy about listening
to gratuitous advice along that line.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15

The Evangelical Ministers Association
Of Atlanta has abandoned belief In totaI
depravity. Evidently those good and
pious gentlemen never heard Of the Ana
Mas Club
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15
BLACK BASS AND BARDS.

/ Rochester Herald: You cannot believe
all you hear about the peach crop" says
The Washington Herald. Especially when
you hear that IL has been killed only eight
times
Cleveland Leader: The Houston Post
tells Of a jackrabbit that fell in the water
and was instantly swallowed by a Texas
black bass. II The Washington Herald
can beat that, let il come forward.
Houston Post: II the esteemed Wash
ington Herald would like 20 fish for black
bass in Texas. the Post viii take pleasure
in arranging to trap a hundred or so live
rabbits TO be used as bait
Charleston News and Courier: Wash
ington Herald: IF the News and Cour-
ier's idea is to limit the hours Of work in
suggesting a poets union, we second the
notion Minutes net hours. contem-
pOraTy.
Norfolk Landmark: Thomas Bailey
Aldrich left an estate Of s1S5.C0o How
ever, he had SlS4999I before he ever
wrote a line Of poetry says The Wash
ington Herald No he didn't. a friend
who died a few years ago bequeathed him
SlSA50c
Concord Monitor; The Washington Her
aid claims to have discovered a new
spring poet" in New Hampshire by the
name Of Morgan Mottle Nudge This is
another case Of having 20 go away from
home TO get the news
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15
Frauds.

From the Kansas City Journal
Complaint is made that the Secretary
Taft brand OF cigars is a fraud. They
are no larger than many other kinds.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15
The Purest He Cnn Get.

My friends tell me" said Mrs New.
bride, that your milk IS not pure"
That's not so. retorted the milkman.
We'll they say you put water in IT,"
well 1 use nothing but filtered water
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15
nimcnIt to RIorv In

From the Philadelphia North American.
Strange as it may seem. the powder
trust is one Of the most difficult to blow
up
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15

King Peter Of Servia SAYS he is in
financial straits" Should not be surprised
at any time TO hear of his being dead
broke"
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15
4 Refuge Needed,

%, wOodman, spare that tree,
Touch not a single bough"
We need 'em all. 10 flee
Yon husband OF the COW.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15
Not as II Used TO BE.

From the Baltimore Sun
May is not mellycoddle month, as it
used TO be,
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15

Mr. Nikola Tesla says he can invent
anything he wants TO- Wish he would
invent a hot-air consumer and attach
il TO himself.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15
Very Likely.

From the Boston Journal
Very likely the new Spanish baby Won
ders what all the fuss is about.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-15

Teeth and tongue are constant grave
diggers," says the Baltimore American.
Not so much now. however, as before the
passage Of the pure-food law.