The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1907-02-14
TribuIations of a Lecturer.
(Charies Batten LOOMS in Success
Magazine.")

(Charaes Battela LOOMS in Success
Magazine.")
They don't proclaim a half-holiday
in every town you visit. could not
see that Chicago hushed Its noise a
particle when We arrived there, and
in st. Louis work went on as usual
And as the great cities, so do some
of the smaller ones. Perhaps. in the
same week in which you address the
school children. and ycel and your
colleague are hailed as great and
good men, you strike town where
there is no one to receive you, as
you gladly step from the mixed train
I'm which you have been stewing for
eight mortal hours, while 1t covered
every foot Of ninety miles. The flags
are not flying from the city haill No
procession of leading citizens and
school children in the place.
You Climb into the ramshacl1le bus
and are Immediately jolted over
pavements so bad that you are in
voluntarily reminded of Chicago.
Then you catch glimpse of a bob
TAILED horse car, and that naturally
reminds you of New York. But this
place is neither the one metropolis
nor the other.
Aride just ten times too long car
ries you to a hotel so unprepossing
that you think there must be some
mistake-until you see the rival ho-
tel. Then, unresisting, you enter the
yes, the Palace Hotel. The pro-
prietor. himself. does you the honor
to escort you to your room-not be-
cause there is no bell boy-nor amy
bell. for the matter OF that.
The higher you mount the ricloety,
stairs the lower sink your
spirits. and by the time you have
reached the bridal chamber" a
Idingy room, with kerosene lamp,
IA small bed, one chair and wash
stand of hideous, cottage furniture
type. you wonder why oliver Wendell
Holmes and Henry Ward Beecher
ever made 1t fashionable to lecture
You notice that there is no recepta-
Gle for soapy water. and you follow
the landlord out into the han and say,
in an off-hand way, There's no slop
jar"
He is not a pleasant tempered man
at best. and he seems to think that
you are chatting him.
Whats that?" he says, psusing a
moment.
"Er-there's no slop pail" Per-
haps that is what he calls it.
He looks you an over, and you feel
that you are becoming a finical, fussy
dude. Then he walks slowly to the
window that opens on the kitchen
yard -"
Whats the matter with the win
dow" he says. and you blush that the
obvious uses of the window had not
occurred to you.
Dinner in such hotel may pr owe
to be a pleasant disappointment. 1t
will be simple, but II. may be appetiz-
ling. Farms are very near. Per-
haps there win be fresh-laid eggs,
tender chickens nicely broiled, creamy
mashed potatoes, rich yellow milk
why you can put up with the niser-
abe bedroom if the table is all right
You join your confrere at the table.
But 1t does net groan with good
things. No, it Is you who do the
grooming. Such wanton spelling of
Iedibles could only be duplicated
why, 1t could only be duplicated in a
Thousand hote.s of the same type,
north, south. east, west.
The chicken was great-grand-
mother before the necessarily sharp
AK finally cleft her head from her
venerable shoulders; the omelette
should have black bailed one of its
members; the milk Is no more milk
than your reading is a lecture; and
the potatoes-but one does not have
to be lecturer to go to bad hotels,
and tho loss cafd r.f f,ar, "a, totto.,