davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1907-08-21


The Auction Man.
Stubbie and Fatty and Billy and NE
we wuz attending thee auction, by gee!
yew ought heer Billy Gange on thee
street
mayB yew think that he amt purity neat.
first he rides By in a rig and he yells.
auction. Ho, Auctionl" and tells where
he sells.
awl of thee feilers in front of thee stores
follow along thee Park. out of doors.
then Billy Gange he gist cracks good
joke
while he is nudging thee Marshall poke.
next thing he pounds with stick on a
Now we are redy." seq he .2 Bgin.
kind friends seq he. I'VE are selling
eheeper than steeling and taking away.
here is a boiler as good as is maid,
it is most new and very good grade.
what am offered 2 start it along?.
Yes, they's a hole but it's soldered up
strong!
What? Not nickel? And paid all at
once?"
Then he looks hard at the crowd and he
grunts:
Five cents is bid for thee boiler-what's
that?
Ten is a going-You man with the hat.
Fifteen is offered. Who makes it five
more?
Cost you a dollar right now thee stoary..
then Hiram Smart and Bill Jones takes
a hand
they are bidding beet the hole band.
Billy gumps round awful spry and he
cries,
What. Are yew going to lose this here
prize?'
purity soon Hi stops a bidding and then
Bill gifts thee boiler fer one dollar ten.
that is thee way with the hole of the
stuff
Bill knows thee way to sell things with
his CUFF.
pa sez he guesses that Bill could sell sky
IL he could ketch the blamed stuff going
by.
won time when wuz standing around
he grabbed me up offul quick from thee
ground:
what am offered seq he, "for this
lad?
He is a trifle patched up but not badr'
then they awl LATED and a man bid a
cent
know his name-it wuz Mr. Gil Kent!
guess | will speek to his mother-Hey,
Gil?
she will outbid you. i reckon" seq Bill.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1907-08-21
In Extremis,

The yacht was heavily becaimed.
There were but ten bottles of cham
payne in the lockers. Their last signal
Of distress had been sent up, without
bringing any response.
Gentlemen" exclaimed the commo-
dore. in quayering voice, Il can no
longer conceal the hideous truth from
you. SObriety stares us in the facet"
1t was wildly various scene which
ensued. Some blasphemed, some
prayed, some, in an access of -frenzied
wantonness, sang songs, while some
sat stoically by, awaiting their fate
with at least an outward calm.-Puck.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1907-08-21
"POOR JOSIE M,CANoPY. ;,

This cream looks sour" said Mrs.
McCanopy
'It smells sour" agreed Clara, sniff
ing the bottle.
"a thunder storm usually turns it, !"
contributed Cousin Phoebe
Everybody looked expectantly at
JOSIE who reached for spoon.
1T is sour" she stated, rushing to-
ward the sink.
Il thought So" echoed the others,
triumphantly. You can always tell"
Josie, you'd better get ready if
you're going" advised her mother
Going where?" demanded Josie.
Then who is going to do all these
crrands?" sighed Mrs. McCanopy 81
cant go; Clara can't; your cousin
Phoebe has to give music lesson;
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1907-08-21
Bits.


Love is no respecter of events. He
as in rose garden.
Some of the most pathetic stories of
life are never told. Those who suffer
most, usually endure in silence.
The greatest jewel of all the beau
tiful Jewels. is conte1tment. He who
wears that set in his heart, is salts
fed, indeed
have often read in novels how "the
house was stiller than DEATH That
must be awfully still. A pin dropped
in such house must sound like a ton
of coal falling down the back stairs.
Recently l have been taking some
fencing lessons. Mickey McGrim. out
at my town, has been giving them to
me. They cost me $3.50 day and
Mickey digs all the post-holes while
lie around In the shade and notice
what he does and how he does it.
That's a foine way" says Mickey,
st take fincin' lessons!" 1t be. be-
COB!
suppose you have sometime wound
your watch so tight that it wouldn't
run. A watch like this reminds me of
some men. They are just chuck full
OF energy and ambition and power, but
somehow they don't seem to know
how to start. Occasionally some one
comes along and shakes them loose.
just as you do your watch, and then.
again, they just keep right on, wound
up too tight for action and of no use
in the world
The best way to get along with a
woman is to assume that you under
STAND ner-though of course You
don't, and she knows it.
Why is it when twins come to a
family, that the father acts as though
everybody thought him about the
smartest man in the universe?
One OF the joys of owning your own
house is that you haven't anybody but
yourself to abuse for poor service.
A woman doesn't appreciate a tele-
gram that doesn't make her face go
white in alarm before she opens it,
A farmer had a log he wanted split
and as 1t was very tough he got
stick OF dynamite, intending to blow
the log into smithereens. He laid the
dynamite down by the barn door and
went inside to put his team away A
pig found the dynamite, swallowed it.
and walked into stall where a span
OF mules were tied. One of the mules
kicked the pig and the jar sent the
dynamite OF. The explosion blinded
the farmer, killed one mule, tore the
harness of the other, blew the end
out OF the barn and nearly killed the
pig.
Many woman isn't as rosy as she
is painted
What shall We do with our girls?"
again asks an association of mothers.
Keep them from being chorus girls.
is my advice
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1907-08-21

Are those our chickens dipping up
the flower seeds you planted yester-
day, Josie?'' queried Mrs. McCanopy.
I've got my lap full, or I'd go out
and shoe EN-"
1--we got my hands all over dough-"
began Josie. Send Clara; she's only
drumming on the piano."
Clara" called Mrs. McCanopy.
No answer.
"Cla-" she began once more.
ooh, 1 might as well go first as
last" mumbled Josie. When she re-
entered the house her hair was blown
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1907-08-21
Joses Birthday RUG
for the Hal FROM Moth

and her face was red.
Dear me-" she sighed, "a partys
dreadful sight of work.
It's YOUR party" reminded Mrs
McCanopy, putting her lips together
firmly. 1--WE arc trying to make your
birthday pleasant"
Josie, who was somewhere between
II and 80, was looking forward to the
day when the fa 'nily was planning to
pay up its ind -btedness, not only
with a party, but with gifts freely
limited at in the home circle as some
thing-you'd never guess whats" and
Just wait-till-yo l-sees!"
My only regret is I've got to have
that nas..l old Dave Midget muttered
Josie, as she sat down to stone rails
ms and plan what she would say to
Ben Overton.
Those bees your father was fool
enough to buy at the Miller's auction
seem to be acting funny" observed
Mrs. McCanopy, gazing out of the
kitchen window. 81 wonder what we
ought to do?"
I've heard of them all swarming
of" said Cousin Phoebe. But
think if some one was to go out and
throw shawl over 'em, they'd calm
down, and when it comes night YOU
could slip the cage, or whatever you
call it, right over them, and there you
arel"
Clara left the room hastily, and
Josie moved uncomfortably on her
chair
I'D go if l wasn't so slow on nv
feet" said Mrs. McCanopy. 81 couldn't
do it quick enough Josie, it would
please your father, after all he is do
ing for you" limited her mother. ut
certainly would be a great disappoint-
ment to Chester to lose EN-
Josie, with the resignation of
saint and the courage of a matador
grabbed the big gray shawl and went
out toward the community of strik-
ing honey makers. While Cousin
Phoebe wasn't an authority on bee
culture, the proposition as a whole
looked as reasonable as the usual mis-
slons upon which Josie was sent. Ac-
customed to look after the family
pets, she was willing to dust the hive
every morning if her father wanted
to keep few bees, but she hoped the
perches didn't have to be disturbed
often.
unfurling the shawl, Josie floated
like a great winged bat toward the
buzzing cloud She did lust as
Cousin Phoebe had advised.
Afterward, when she had been re-
lieved from pain as much as possible.
her father said:
You ought to have more sense,
Josie, even if the others didn't have
any," Which shows that gratitude is
apt to be proportionate to the amount
OF success attendant upon the good
deed.
And to-morrow's the party!" groan-
ed Josie, avoiding the mirror.
Some better" answered Josie, .sthe
swelling has commenced to go down."
Poor josie and It's your birthday,
tool. condoned Clara. You viii be a
sight at the party
Never mind, dearie.' said Mrs. Nc
Canopy cheerfully. Here's what your
father and have bought for youi,'
Why-it's rug,' gasped Josie. 81
thought it was going to be a."
Don't you ike it?" demanded her
mother. with an injured air. isn't /
the design prettyg"
It's very nice rug. admitted
Josie. struggling with keen: disap-
pointment
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1907-08-21
Wouldn't Take His Place.

Hearing of the sudden taking off the
stage OF life of leading Thespian
while he was playing in Chicago,
New York Rialtoan out of a job tele-
graphed the manager as follows:
Having heard of the sad and tragic
demise of Mr.. -, I'll take his place
for $50 a week"
As the message was sent collect 1t
ELECTED the following reply: Thanks.
wouldn't take his place for twice that
amount"
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1907-08-21
Calf Like a Kanoaroo.

More like a jack rabbit or kanga-
roo is calf recently born in western
state. Its front legs. are quite little
shorter than its hind ones. and 1t has
no tail at all. Instead of moving and
frisking about like its playmates. the
odd looking creature covers the ground
by leaps.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1907-08-21
this is Mary's cleaning day. and"

this is Mary's cleaning day, and
Send Jennie. It's Saturday" sug-
Gested Josie. I've got the bird cage
to clean, the pets to feed, Spanish
cream to make, and promised Belle
I'd"
I've got to study for examination"
whined Jennie.
After | get few things done, I'll
CO." consented Josie.
Say, where's that blue sweater of
mine with the white stripes?" shout
ed Phil McCanopy, rushing in.
Seems to me I saw it on the top
shelf in the spare room," unused Josie.
You might look there"
Josie, you go like a good child"
pleaded her mother. phil will pull
down everything, he's so rough"
And Josie, while you're upstairs,
will you open the windows and let it
air out?" asked Clara. 1T has stop
ped raining"
Bring me down clean handker-
chief that's dear girl" put in Cousin
Phoebe. II was just going after one,
but no need of both going"
When you are up that far, would
you mind getting that screen that's
in the attic, JOSIE" coaxed her mother.
''Josie's a great little step saver"
commented Phil.
Il don't know what we'd do without
poor JOSIE" said her mother but
We'll make it up to her on her birth
day"
AS for Josie, she realized she wasn't
pretty, like Clara, nor bright" like
Jennie, nor boy, Phil; she
believes it was possible to be so
sweet and obliging that one may be-
come universally loved and admired.
Josies ambition was to be universally
loved and admired
I'D like dog" said Phil, disconso-
lately. Mas got the birds, sis has
got parrot, Cousin Phoebe has four
Persian cats, the chickens belong to
Jennie"
You have six white mice and TIVE
squirrels" reminded Clara, tartly. ct
notice poor Josie has to take care of
them, or they'd starve to death"
She has to take care of your old
parrot" fiared Phil. "And mas birds.
and ali the rest. You needn't talk!
If was Joe I wouldn't stand for it,"
"Smarty," sneered Clara.
1T wouldn't be much more trouble
to feed a dog" interposed Josie. 'T
wouldn't object to dog"
You're all right, Joel" cried Phil.
grabbing her around the neck. 'Tu
do something for you on your birth
dayr
I'VE might as we'll make out the
party list now" proposed Clara brisk
". Get a pencil and paper, Josie,
seeing you're up. There's the Hayden
boys. john Gray, Sam Peterson, Har-
old Munson. Dave Midge-" began
Clara.
Il won't have Dave Nudge at my
party" cut in josie. ''You can invite
anyone else to my party but him. If
there's anyone on earth / detest. it's
that Dave Midget"
Now, Josie, you've got to ask him."
decided Mrs. McCanopy, but of
of course you needn't have much to
Say to him aside from treating him
politely"
Sure. she's got to invite Dave"
echoed Phil
Poor Josie, l know you hate him"
sympathized Clara. But, as mother
says, you don't have to say much to
him after he gets here"
Suit yourselves, I" acquiesced Josie.s
Idon't know as mind Put down
Bon Covington on the list. Clara, she
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1907-08-21

wild apology, fed up the stairs, arriv-
ing just in time to button up Clara,s
new princess gown and to do several
little things for her mother and Cousin
Phoebe.
Josie's bee catastrophe gave her a
sort OF melancholy prominence for a
brief period, but soon interest, amuse-
ment and sympathy for the disfigured
owner of the birthday waned and Josie
grayitated to a retired nook where she
and Dave Nudge bored each other for
what seemed an eternity.
Ben Oyerton. had shaken hands.
told her it was hard luck about the
bees, and this duty discharged. had
proceeded to enjoy himself. Every
body seemed busy but herself and
Dave Nudge. Common unpopularity
threw them together, and they hated
each other the more intensely on ac-
count of it.
At least, thought Josie. the refresh.
ments would atone for some of the
Accomplishments the party brought:
but when Clara informed Josie in
stage whisper that she had nut salt
In the ice cream, it completed
miserable failure. as far as Josie was
concerned Brother Phil forgot to
mention that when he took the ton.
on to see what flavor the cream was.
it had seemed all right
The Cherry-The next day, while
Josie was down on her knees scraping
the crushed refreshments ont of the
carpet, she extracted much comfort re-
hearsing the bright answers she would
have made to Ben Overton had he no
nced her at the party. While Josie
was great little anticipationist. she
was even better as retrospectionist.
Copyright 1905. by w. G. chapman.l
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1907-08-21

added, trying to appear casual and
disinterested. One Ben Covington
would compensate for whole roomful
of Dave Midges.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1907-08-21

When we set up purpose~beyond
our own happiness, and follow It.
happiness will follow US in its turn.
Wilbur.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1907-08-21
Safety Vault.

An Indiana man found two ten-dol-
lar bills which had been placed in cold
storage in the Bible more than 80
years ago. On reading it we got out
the old Bible and looked through it
from Generations to Revolutions, but
found nothing of Importance, save a
butchers bin for ten dollars, and it
wasn't marked paid, either. The
Bible seems more nearly a burglar
proof safe than any other contrivance
OF ingenious 1nan.-An Ohio Editor.
~, ns4.=...,
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1907-09-26
WITNESSES help sen. BORAH

Boise, Ida, Sept. 25The first SEN
sation in the trial of Senator William
E. Borah came Late today when Al
bert X. Lanop, second witness pro
duced by the government admitted
on cross examination that he commit
ted perjury in taking out timber land
claims, admitted that he had been
promised immunity by officers of the
federal government for testifying that
at the request of federal officers he
had sworn to complaint against a
man he did not know and proclaim
ed that he believed it to be part OF
the bargain for immunity that he
should swear to any complaint ag-
ainst any person regardless of any
knowledge that he might have as tc
the persons guilt.
When the name of the federal Off
| Ger who induced him to sign the com
plant was asked by Senator Borah's
counsel witness swore that he could
! not remember. -,-..s,
The day was given to introduction
of mass of papers on file in the
land office at Boise and to the evi
dence of two men who said they hat
received money from John /. Well:
with which to prove their timber
land claims. '...~s-
| Wells is one of the men Indicted
with Senator Borah. Counsel for tn,
latter did not object to this testi
mony on the understanding that thu
transactions in question would ulti
mately be used in some way will
Senator Borah. ..=:
Defense scored it's first point earl.
in the examination of the first wit
ness, a man named Anderson. H
was asked by Special Prosecute
Rush what his intent was when h
took out the timber claim.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1907-09-26
Sporting News
THE RACES
AT COLUMBUS
SoNOMA GIRL BESTS MARGARET
0. AND TAKES DOWN THE
$4,000 PURSE. . 81.

Columbus. O., Sept. 25.-Dan Patch
was lame today and could not start
against his record, so it fell to the lot
of Sonona Girl and Margaret O.. TO
furnish the feature of tho lengthy pro-
gram at the Grand Circuit races.
twenty-five heats in all were decided.
The two mares met in the Mec-
chants $4,000 stake and Sonoma Girl
ruled favorite. She lost chance for
the first heat by breaking at the head
of the stretch. She started four
lengths back in the second mile. Al
though she trotted the last half in
1902 she could not overhaul Margaret
o.
The two had gruelling time of it
from the last half-mile post home
Sonoma Girl was fresher than Mar,
garet O. and won because she was
able to step in 2:07, fastest time of the
chilly day. The next two heats were
easily won by Sonoma Girl.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1907-09-26
Priest Prohibits Young Wo'
men Of His Flock TO
Know College Boys
All of Which Causes Much
Anguish in Both Sexes
at Allentown

Allentown, Pa, Sept. 25-Follow
ing a ban which has been placed up
on them from the pulpit of the
Church of the Immaculate Concep-
ton, under which the girls of the
parish have been forbidden to en-
tertain them, students of Lehigh I'M
iversity held a big meeting on the
campus tonight and discussed the
situation with much fevor. The Rev.
Father P. J. Walsh, rector, who is
sued the order, said:
ct don't think Lehigh is any worse
than any other college. Lehigh, how
ever, is the college that is here.
Therefore I had to name it. 1t would
be the same if I were in any other
city wherein was a college. While
it is true that there are some stu
dents in college it would do no girl
harm to meet, the fact is that they
are so few that a general order is
the only safe thing"
All the pretty girls of the parish
had trooped to mass yesterday morn
ing and had conducted themselves
devoutly when Father Walsh arose
and said:
IT want to tell the young women
of my parish that they must hereaf
ter cease all acquaintance with stu
dents at Lehigh university. They
must not entertain them either al
their homes or in walks. 1T is en-.
tirely for the good of yourselves that
I order this, and it must be obeyed
There must be no exceptions. TIC
allow one exception would be to re-
open the gates"
Father Gaffney, curate, later prac
tically repeated his superior's in
| junction in the same words.
The girls say they will obey this
priests. This, however, may be mere
! ly tactful on their part. Father.
Walsh and Gaffney gave them no al
! tentative. Parents are divided upo1
the subject, but for every objectol
to the decree of the church there arr
ten who agree with it.
No official statement has come from
any of the Lehigh college officials
but the students are s.sore'' indeed
The first many of them knew of tn,
decree against them was when the.
| started out as usual last night t,
visit their inamoratas and either ha.
1 doors slammed in their faces by par
ents or were tearfully turned dowl
by the girls themselves.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1907-09-26

Judge Wilson sustained the objec-
ton based on the ground that a
man confessing perjury, as Anderson
did, could not properly testify as to-
any secret intent he may have had.
Anderson and Nugent both testified
they received from John Wells S4l2
with which to prove up their claims,
and each received $3.50 additional for
transferring claims. to the Barber
Lumber. Co. .4- 81. .s@.
Two bills given to men by Wells
and letter from Wells to Nugent
were admitted in evidence. Ander-
son was not cross examined, but MI
gent admitted he had made no agree
ment to transfer his lands at the
time he filed upon them. He said
that there never was anything but
| verbal agreement and he could not
remember where or in whose pres
ence the contract was made. Nugent
said he witnessed the papers filed
by Anderson, and was then confront
ed by the complaint signed by him
charging Louis M. Pritchard with
! having conspired with Anderson to
get the title to the land. Nugent
said he did not know any such per-
son nor anything about his connec-
ton with alleged land frauds. He
declared that all he knew was that
he had read in some newspaper that
| Pritchard was involved.
| Prosecutor Rush demanded of the
witness if any officer of the govern
ment had asked him to swear raise
ly. Nugent replied he had always
been told to tell nothing but the
truth Mr. Rush said he had never
heard of Nugent's connection with
the Pritchard complaint and desired
time to look into the matter. At this
juncture the court adjourned until
tomorrow.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1907-09-26

Monroe avenue, will be much oblig-
ed for the information and, accord
ing to hi sown words, will pay for it
with his life. -.-.
Welch wandered into the Hyde
Park police station today after hav-
ing walked from his home. He apol-
ogized to the sergeant for causing
trouble, then asked for an ambulance
to take him to the hospital.
"You see," he said, 81 have tried
to kill myself. I stuck a knife in
my side and it hurts" 4 =
"Why didn't you go to the Wood
lawn police station; that's only a
few blocks from your home" said
the sergeant severely, the while or
dering out the ambulance. x
''Well, tried that last week, when
I cut my throat" said Welch, "and
I found that they didn't have an am
bulance-I didn't want to walk to
| the hospital" !
How many times have you tried
it," asked the sergeant.
tOnly twice." was the reply. Last
week l cut my throat and lay on a
sofa for an hour. Then I got up and
| found that I was not dead. So !
went to the police station and they
got me doctor.
"Unless someone will help me out
I will have to think up better way
My, how good it would seem to be
dead and out of all this trouble
You know" ...<
He was taken to the hospital al
this point. s.-.... I'll FAR 4 i
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1907-09-26
strange DEATH

New York, Sept. ga machinist,
Pierre Pollum, met terrible and
strange death in a garage In Will
liamsburg, Brooklyn, in which he
was employed. He went to the eel
lar to get a piece of shafting and
presently Charles Reilly, the pro.
prietor Of the garage, and John Fol-
ey and another employee heard him
screaming in agony. They ran down
the cellar stairs, which are wood, to
find Pollum writhing about in four
inches OF water which covered the
cellar floor.
Foley 1eaped into the water to aid
Pollum, but suffered severe shock.
the water being heavily charged with
electricity. He regained the steps,
however, and quickly got pair Of
rubber gloves. BY means of these
and a plank Poiium was taken from
the water but he soon died
An electric cable runs into ths
garage cellar and from 1t the batter
les Of the automobiles are charged
In some way the insulation on par
OF this cable had been scraped off
which permitted the current to es
cape into the water which had leak
ed into the cellar.