The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1907-05-16

What was 1t Franklin said7 III
you'd have a thing well done
'1Tell your cook you'd ike It rare" in
! terrupted Subbubs
Agent-Pd like to sell you this bottle
! of mosquito exterminator Mr.. Jack
son-No, stree! I'm a manufacturer
Of mosquito netting.
! Mistress Ito colored cook Maria,
is your little girl bright child? Maria
Deed she am. Sometimes All think
she's a little too shiny.
Say, dad" "Well, son." whats
a pedestrian" "a pedestrian, son, is
one who doesn't have time to get out
of the way-of an auto
80 you will make dash for the
North Pole by airshlp. Have you the
ship YETI" "No-o, not exactly" How
far along are your preparationsT I'VE
have the air"
Mrs. Justgott Hermun-My new
home has stained glass in all the win
dows. Mrs. Notyet Butsoon-Now
that's too bad. Can't you find some
thing that'll take it out?
Paddy (oblivious, on the track, with
train advancing Where will l catch
the express for Dublin? Stationmaster
Yell catch it all over We if We don't
get of the line mighty quick.
Merchant would be glad to give
you the position, young man, but L
make it rule to employ married men
only. Applicant-Beg pardon, sir, but
have you an unmarried daughter?
Jacks Mamma-There were three
slices of cake in the cupboard, Jack,
and now there are only two. How does
that happen? Jack-It was SO dark in
there, mamma, that l didn't see the
others.
Mrs. Gadabout-My husband is so
slipshod. His buttons are forever COM
ing off. Mr.. Grim-Perhaps they are
not sewed on properly. Mrs. Gadabout
That's just it. He is so careless with
his sewing.
Are you chief engineer of this con-
cern?" asked an excited individual of
the sub-editor. mo, sir, I'm not the
engineer. I'm the boiler" And he pro-
coded to boil down" six sheets of mat
ter into note of six lines.
lawyer say, doctor, why are you
always running US lawyers down? Doc
tor (dryly)-Well, your profession
doesn't make angels Of men, does it?
Lawyer Why, no; you certainly have
the advantage of us there doctor.
family recently purchased a COW,
greatly to the excitement and joy OF |
he children of the household. The fol- !
owing Sunday as the dessert, which /
consisted of ice cream, was placed on |
he table, the 3-year-old son of the fam
ly announced proudly to the assembled |
quests: "Our COW made that!''
An English rector was burying one
# his parishioners in the churchyard,
when he was interrupted by a woman.
You must wait until I have finished"
aid he. mo, sir, l must speak at
'll-t w tlls luGllf W nat lLit
err" he inquired. why, sir" exclaim-
ID the poor woman, you are burying
man who died of The smallpox next
ny poor husband, who never had it,"
A burly, broad-shouldered man
'assed through the gates at the Central
tation at Jersey City, and hurried
With his two solid-looking suit cases
oward a Pullman porter who stood
fifty and erect beside the steps of
arlor car attached to the train. The
assenger, who was long on suit cases
ut short on breath, asked the proud
boxing porter: Does this train stop
t Railway" mo, sah," replied the
egro, in a superior manner. This
rain do not stop at Railway, sab. 1t
o not even hesitate at Railway"
A gentleman who spent his time Wis
ing among his friends, wearing out
is welcome in his own neighborhood,
bought he would visit an old Quaker
,iend some twenty miles distant. He
as cordially received by the Quaker,
no. thinking the visitor had taken
luch pains to come so far TO see him,
.eated him with a great deal of at
,ntion and politeness for several days.
S the visitor showed no signs of leav-
Ig the Quaker became uneasy. but
,re it with patience until the eighth
~, when he said to him: my friend,
am afraid thee will never come
gain" "Oh, yes, l SHALL" said the
sltor. 81 have enjoyed my visit very
uch and shall certainly come again."
But" said the Quaker, eff thee will
,yer leave, how can thee come again?