davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-09-03

A fish story l heard while camping
involves an old man who had little re-
gard for the truth. Two young men
made 1t up to go to the old gentleman's
house and outgeneral him by telling
the biggest lie to the old man, who
held the record. After being at the
old mans house some time one of them
asked the old gentleman If he had
heard about the big fire. He said he
had not and asked them where it was
The young man told him gasoline
launch had exploded on the river and
the whole river was on fire. The old
man sat quiet for moment, then turn
ed to his wife and said, Mother, told
you something terrible had happened
up the river today when l caught that
catfish with his fms all burned off,
Chicago Tribune
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-09-03

WHY, Phil" exclaimed his sweet
heart, you know we have never men
toned it."
Mother" she cried, don't you think
father must be lonely downstairs
alone? l should think you'd hate to
leave him."
Mrs. Metcalf went and told her hus-
band, who said he was delighted-that
he would rather have her marry a poor
man who promised well than rich
one who did not. Phil stayed week
longer, then begged Marjory to marry
and go with him. He was six feet
three, but he persuaded this little maid
that he could not live without her
that loneliness would be his undoing.
So they were married, not downstairs
as they ought to have been, but up in
the cozy room where he had first seen
her In the nurses clothes
Mr.. Metcalf gave her away and Tom
was best man, while Mrs. Metcalf
stood very near and smiled through
misty eyes. The little bride wore the
white dress with the open neck and
looked like a morning glory. In her
hair she wore no orange flowers, not
even a "sunburst, the gift Of the
groom"-but she did wear a moth
eaten, much used feather buster.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-09-03

A man who had figured In two street
car accidents made an attempt after
his second recovery to renew his acci-
dent insurance policy. The company
refused to insure him again.
I'VE can't afford to-" said the agent.
ION account of your habits"
my habits?" explained the man.
whats the matter with my habitsf
1 don't drink or anything like that"
NO" said the agent perhaps not,
but you do something just as bad
from our standpoint. You are impul-
sive, you take unnecessary chances in
crossing streets, and, what is worst
Of all, you get Off a car backward
We know, for we have watched you.
So far as this company is concerned,
no more insurance can be issued to a
man who habitually leaves the car
crab fashion. The liability to accident
Is too great. New York Post.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-09-03
after the
An~non By.
JOHNSON.

Brooks raised the shade and looked
out, saying things softly to himself
A sodden landscape merged into lead
en- skies, and a fine, driving rain yelled
but slightly the misery of the scene.
Across the road a score of ducks
waddled contentedly through the mud
dy field to puddle that had formed
in corner Of the lot, but half a dozen
bedraggled hens squawked dolefully as
they picked up the angleworms driven
to the surface by the continued rain
and rushed back to shelter The COWS
In the side pasture huddled under the
dripping trees, and the dog trotted
across the road with his tail dragging
almost in the mud as he made for the
protection of the barn after being driv-
en- from the inviting kitchen door.
Brooks had come to Centerville for a
purpose-a purpose that was not best
served by confinement in a country
boarding house for seven days and
nights. Once or twice there had come
break In the steady rain, but In an
hour or SO it only came down the hard
er, as though to make up for the time
1t had lost.
He had wanted to take Bess over to
the Big rock, where they had first
met the summer before, and there
make the avowal of love that had hung
trembling upon his lips ever since. He
had been able to take a whole month
the year before-four golden weeks fill
ed with sunshine and love.
Then Bess had gone to Europe as
companion to a rich relative, and Just
as she returned Curtis Brooks had been
called to South America on a matter Of
great importance. They had CORE
sponded with such regularity as their
uncertainty Of movement permitted,
but there had been no opportunity for
a proposal, and now their waking time
was divided between the parlor and
the dining room of the old farmhouse
Seven days Of rain had got on
Brooks nerves. With his whole en-
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-09-03
The Sun and the Telescope.

The popular notion is that the as
tronomer points his telescope directly
at the sun and fires his vision point
blank across the chasm Of millions of
miles. Instead, says a writer In the
Ohio Magazine, the Grant sun rays
are lassoed by a coelestate-a great
circular mirror driven by clockwork
in such manner that it throws its
light into another mirror above, and
this in turn sends the long, concen-
trated beam far into the interior OF
the telescope house. The two mir
rors move in automatic adjustment to
each other, so that the solar beams
may be shot into the building, no mat
ter In what portion of the sky the sun
may be situated. At the farther end
of the building the reflected sunbeam
strikes a concave mirror which catch
es the light and, flashing 1t back to-
ward the opening whence it first en-
tered, focuses it into a perfect image
of the sun
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-09-03
Rathinn.

Cleanliness is next to goodness, and
it is likewise essential to health. There
is no apology for filth, and filth breeds
disease. Germs do not like cleanliness,
and they almost exert themselves to
avoid 1t, so to keep clean is essential.
Every child should receive either a
sponge or a tub bath each day. The
skin contains small glands, which
should constantly carry off the poisons
which collect within us. When the
skin is dirty these glands do not act
and these polsons are retained and give
rise to Ill health. Bathing keeps their
ducts open, stimulates their action and
thus aids In the process Of elimination,
thereby improving the nutrition. 1t
is evident, therefore, that the idea that
frequent bathing in the winter months
is dangerous Is wrong.-National Con-
gress Of Mothers Magazine.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-09-03
EHsotiua ReHaotinn.

at is so suddeny' exclaimed the fair
haired girl, who had just received a
proposal to merge her Identity In that
of would be protector. ''You must
give me time to reflect"
mo. nor retorted the diplomatic
young man. Zone whose dazzling
beauty makes mirror ashamed Of
itself should never go into the reflect
ing business. Let this solitaire dia-
mond do the rejecting"
And the records of the license clerk
show that it was even so.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-09-03
The Burlington and Bristol Steanaboa
Ferry Company.

Schedule In effect $40 a. M, June 18th, 1907
Subject to change.
LEAVE BRISTOL FOR BURLINGTON.
Daiiy-Except Sundays and Saturdays.
GAO. $780, 500. $1,000, #IO4O, all 10 g. M, 1890
sl.30, 1910 1880, 1870, $3.50, $780, 40 p. m.
LEAVE BURLINGTON FOR BRISTOL.
$50, $780, $780, 1920 *l1.0O, l1.30 a. M, *1.00,
300, 800. 800, 800, $50. $50. 7.30 p. m.
LEAVE BRISTOL SATURDAYS.
6.4O $780, $500, 1000 5000, Ills M, 30
sSO, s2O 800, s4O $40. $780, $40. $40, *74O'
800, l000 HOO p. m.
LEAVE BURLINGTON SATURDAYS
$780, $780, 1880, 1920 HOO, *ll.30 M, *I.OO,
800, s40, $780, *4OO $40, $3.50, $50, $50, 75O
$50, 1870, lilo p m.
LEAVE BRISTOL SUNDAYS.
$780, $780, .le.O0. *l0.i0, Ills a. M, *l2 80 Il 80
*220 $780, s340, *42O, $780, $40, *6.40, TO, 500
800 1000, ll.OO p. m.
LEAVE BURLINGTON SUNDAYS.
1880, $3.50, 5000, *ll00 ll.30 a. m *lOO, 200
*24O, $40, 400, k440, *52O, $50, $50, TAO, $40
$50, $780, lilo p. IN.
Notes-Read Carefully.
Trips marked with a star will stop at Bun
lington Island Park and when there are three
or more passengers for the Park the boat VIII
stop ON other trips. Passengers who desire &c
leave the Park will notify the wharf tender
who will raise the signal flag for the boat
from Bristol.
trip the schedule will be same as Sunday
schedule.
August q 1877, the 1000 O'Clock morning TRIP
from Bristol will be withdrawn and the boaI
will leave Bristol at $40 a. m.
The boat for the performances In the Audi
forum will leave Bristol at 7.40 p. M, return
ing Will leave burlington twenty minutes
after the performances.
No trips will be guaranteed in foggy weather
WILLIAM K. DORON,
Sec'y, Treas and Gen'l Manager
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-09-03

"a knife that cuts butter when 1t
is hot land under no other clrcum-
stances) we sometimes meet with, and
the reason of this is easily explained
Heat expands metal and in proportion
to the amount of metal which is heat.
ed. There is more metal in the breadth
of blade than In its thickness, and
the former therefore is expanded i'm.
mensely more than the latter. In other
words, the wedgelike shape is length.
ened, and the tool becomes sharp"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-09-03

The Society of the Cincinnati was
an order established by the officers
Of the Revolutionary army In 1888 to
perpetuate their friendship and to
raise funds for the relief of the wild
ows and orphans of those who had
fallen during the war 1t was &C
named because 1t included patriots
headed by Washington. between
whom and the old Roman farmer
general, Cincinnatus, there were sup.
posed to be many resemblances.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-09-03
The Three Eaten.

The names of the three fates were
Clotho Lachesis and Atropos. To ex-
press the influence which they were
believed to exercise on human life
from birth TO death they were repre-
sented as spinning a thread of gold,
silver or wool, now tightening, now
slackening and at last cutting it of
Clotho, the youngest, put the wool
around the spindle, Lachesis spun it.
and the aged Atropos cut it off when
a man had to die.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-09-03
The Greater Aoha-

"You might think you've got such a
heartache," said the woman, that you
can't stand it at all. You'll never get
over 1t, never in the world You can't
stand 1t another minute without dying
of 1t, but just wait till you get the
toothache good and hard, then stand
by and watch the heartache go way
back and sit down. New York Press.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-09-03
Female Diamonds.

The jeweler held magnifying glass
to a superb white diamond.
"Do you see those little diamonds
on the farther edge?" he said. "They
are invisible to the naked eye, but the
glass shows them quite plainly,
doesn't 1t? Well, they are the proof
that this diamond Is female; hence
we say that there are male and fe-
male diamonds, the males, of course
being those that don't produce these
growths.
"Female diamonds are always the
finest In fact, nearly all the dia.
monds Of wide world fame are fe.
males. New York Press.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-09-03

A servant girl who had been through
the mill before was being cross ex-
amined the morning after her new
engagement. Said her mistress:
"And did your last mistress assist
you in cooking, Maggie?'
"Weel, aye, in way she did," ad.
mitted Maggie.
How did she do 1t, now" asked hel
mistress.
by stoppin' cot O. the kitchen
men," was Maggie's retort, and the
mistress gracefully retired.-Londor
Answers
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-09-03
TROLLEY TIME TABLES.
BURLINGTON COUNTY RAILWAY co.

In connection with Camden and Suburban
Railway Company.
In effect April ., 1907.
Leave Fountain, Mount Holly, for Burling-
ton at .o.20 a m, and every hour thereafter
to and Including lilo p. m.
Leave Broad and High streets. Burlington
for Mount Holly at 6.O3 a. NJ and every houI
thereafter until and including l.U3 p. H.
Last car ll.95 p. In.
Leave Fountain, Mount Holly. for Moores
town and Camden at $40 GA a. IN. and every
half hour thereafter until and including S.i4
D. M, then 9.44 10 "A, "a p. H.
Leave Camden Ferry Tor Mount Holly al
Gus, 5.3S a. and every half hour thereafter
until and including SuS p. m, every hour
thereafter until and including ll.OS.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-09-03
CAMDEN AND SUBURBAN RAILWAY CO

Leave MooRESTOWN every 10 minutes
from SAP until lO.42 a. m; then every 30 min
utes until Az p. M; then every 10 minutes I'M
til 9.42 u. m; then every 80 minutes until ll.l2
D. m; then every hour as per night car
schedule.
Leave FERRY sos, 5.3S, 60S 6.SS a. M; then
every Is minutes until 9.3S a.. ~; then every ~
minutes until 8.3S p. m; then every 10 minutes
until 1888 p. M; then every 30 minutes until
IUUS u. m; then l.O8 and l2OS; then every
hour as per night car schedule.
Leave MERCHANTVILLE every minutes
from 5.32 a. IN. until 9N a. m; then every III
minutes until All p. M; then every minutes
until S.z7 p. M; then every 10 minutes until
u.47 p. m; then as per night car schedule.
Leave FERRY at 503 and 5.3S a. M; then
every ~ minutes until 5.5S a. H.; then every
o minutes until 1858 a. m; then every ~ min
utes until 1888 p. M; then every minutes I'M
til7.5S D. M; then every 10 minutes until l2OS
mldnig ht; then every hour as per night car
schedule.
NIGHT CAR-DAILY AND SUNDAY.
Leave Moorestown, l.02. 2 w, 302, 4.O2 a. IN.
Leave Ferry, *l.0S, EOS, 30S, 4.0S a. m.
KI,ast trip on Saturday nigh
Connect with Mount Holly cars at Stanwick
avenue.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-09-03
CAMDEN AND TRENTON RAILWAY co.

East Bound.
g Cars Leave Burlington-Broad q High 642
6I2 A. 7l2 7.42, S.l2, S42 9l2, 9.42, 1912 1912
ILL., lI42 1912, l242 II, LAP, 2l2 242 3l2, 3.42.
4l2 Az 5l2. 5.42, 6l2 6.42, 7.l2, 742 S.l2, S.42
9.l2, 9.42 1912, ll.42.
WESTBOUND.
Leave Burlington, Broad and High-6.0S.
63S 7S, 7S, Sos S.3S, 9.OS. 9S, lOOo, lO3S, Illus,
i.S. l21s I23s U.s. .SS LOS, LBS 3US, 33S, 4.OS,
3S 5OS s 80 60S 80. 7.OS, 7S SOS S5S, 9.US, 9.sS,
LOS lI.(S, l2.USs LOS
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-09-03

~
WEEKDAYS
For philadelphia. ITO, go lbs Saturday and
Sunday only a. m. 2.20, 40. go (9.4O Satur
day and Sunday only p. M
delightful twilight and moonlight trip
may be had by taking Steamer Columbia AT
4lO p m. to Philadelphia and return, arriving
home sos p. m.
Full orchestra on board.
Leave Philadelphia 500 q 30 Saturday ana
Sunday only a. M, 100, 200, $780, 600 p. M
Saturday and Sundays.
500 p. m. boat will leave 1870 p. NJ on account
of moonlight.
Time table subject to change without motto e
Freig hit shipments covered by full marine
insurance from the time they are received
until delivered to you.
SERVICE BETTER THAN EVER.
F. H. STETsER. Gen. Mgr.
K. III. FLAGG, JR.,
Freight and Passenger Agent.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1907-12-17
WhRt HRpnrnrd.

The stout man on the back plat
form declined TO agree with the con
ductOr. The conductor thought he
hadn't paid his fare. Tho stout man
was Of the contrary opinion
They exchanged harsh words over
the matter
II gave you nickel when Z cot
aboard" said the stout man.
II haven't taken in q nickel on this
trip" said the conductor
The stout man grew very rcd. his
hair seemed TO bristle
That's just enough OF this" he
growled II don't want to have any
trouble with you / had trouble win
a conductor once ia hate to tell YOU
what happened
The conductor drew back o little
and made no further attempt to coli
lect the stout mans fare
But when the stout man was about
to alight from the cer at the Penn
sylvania crossing the conductors cue
riosity was too much for him
Say he asked. What happened
when you had that trouble with tho
other conductor"
Tho stout man lootod back
Il was Ia thQ bospitoi six waohr,"
be mildly answered, ~e Clsgslsn4
PLAIN psalgu
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1907-12-17
On - Kentucky Hallway.

"Do YOU use the block system on
this road?' inquired a passenger in
train in Kentucky.
no. sir" replied tho conductor.
eve have no use for It."
DO YOU use the electric or pneu-
matte signals?"
mo, sir"
Have you a double track?"
mo"
Well Of course. you have n train
dispatcher and run all trains by tele-
graph?'
mo"
81 sec you have no brakeman. How
do you flag the rear Of your train ~
you a'e stopped from any cause be-
twcer stations?"
We don't flag"
Indeed what n way to run a
railroad A man takes his life i'm his
hand when ne rides on 81. This Is
criminal recklcssnessi
See here, misteri If You don't
iike this railroad you can get of and
walk am the president OF this
road and iis sole owner am Hiso
W. beard 81 alFss,ars, treasurer, zee,
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1907-12-17
WORDS OF WISDOM.

1t is better to prefer honorable de-
feat to a mean victory. to lowering
the level of our aim that we may more
certainly enjoy the comp.acency OF
success. -John Ruskin
Tell me mans use OF money and
his method of acquiring money and
I'll tell you what kind of a man he
is. Gold is tried with the touchstone,
but men are tried with gold. Rev.
w. d. Bradfeld
There is nothing so great as to he
capable of happiness. to pluck it out
of every moment and whatever hap
pens.-Anna Gllchrlst
There is the pious hypocrite. the
hypocrite who has a conscience for
other people, the hypocrite who is
downright falsifier of the truth. And
there is the phiianthropic hypocrite,
who hires a brass band whenever he
makes gift to charity. to let people
know that Mr.. Simon Somebody has
been giving away some money. All
these hypocrItes are among the re-
spectacle classes.
1t Is while you are patiently toll
Ing at the little tasks OF life that tho
meaning and shape of the great whole
OF life dawns upon you. 1t is while
you are resisting little temptations
that you are growing stronger
Phillips Brooks.
You needn't pick up any worries.
You can get them anywhere as you
go along.-Mrs. A. d. r. Whitney.
Self-forgetfulness in love for 9TH
ers has a foremost place in our Ideal
OF character and our deep homage
as representing the true end of our
umanity.-Andrew p. Peabody
|. Every hardship. every JOY, every
temptation. is challenge OF the
spirit, that the human soul may prove
itself. The great chain of necessity
wherewith we are bound has divine
significance, and nothing happens
which has not some service TO per-
form in working out the sublime des-
tiny OF the human soul.-EUis A.
Ford
It's greatly wiso to talk with our
past hours and ask them what re-
port they bore to Heavier. Young.
All the beauty of the sky and tho
earth Is like the smile of God. and a
smile shows us the disposition OF the
person just as certainly as any words
he can use. One cannot sit down i'm
the midst of this loneliness without
being conscious that IL is a Divine
Presence that makes it lovely. -
Henry Ware. Jr.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1907-12-17
WHOLE NO. 1247.
His Mark Of Genius.
by c. NJ. EWING.

Hello. old man. Heard you wcrs
head bookkeeper over at the New
House"
Eyes"
"Well. how did It happen? Last
time we met YOU said YOU had been
chasing $14 jobs like a whilom poet"
well. 1T was this way; was run
ming my albright intelligent young
man wants. etc.-in the want coll
umn and getting no replies. One day
when the paper came / glanced at tho
want column ads as usual They ran
this way:
Every highly educated young lady
wishes;
capt and intelligent young man
wants;
'Brainy and scholarly man would
like:
Intellectual. energetic and pro-
gressive young man wants;
Bright and intelligent young man
wants;
Bright and intelligent young man
wants:
repeated six times with mine. An
idea struck me-there might be some
Dill wye IOOl III superintendent 5
chair somewhere.
Strengthening out my coattail Rf-
ter the passing car FASTENED down
to the news Office. had my al
changed TO read:
Very dull, unintelligen, aud lazy
man wants position as bookkeeper.
The next day / was deluged with
mail. a magazine editor called on
me in person and offered me the edi-
torship of tho Quips page at a thou
sand. had jobs thrown at me like
kisses at muscle dancer. The let
ter from the boss over at the New
House ran:
You're it, Leave your references
Mt home. Walk right in Monday
morning, spit on the floor. knock you-
ashes from your cigar all over the
desk. flop open the ledger and so to
work, $500 Prom Puck.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1907-12-17

rotary, general manager. supcrinten-
dent. paymaster. trackmaster. general
passenger agent. general frcieht
agent. master mechanic. ticket agent.
conductor, brakeman and boss. This
is the Great Western Railroad of
Kentucky. six miles long. with ter
mini at Harrodsburg and Harrods.
burg Junction This is the onlytraiu
on the road of any kind and ahead
OF us IS the only engine We never
have collisions. The engineer does
his own firing and runs the repair
shop and roundhouse all by himself
He and ] run this here railway. II
Keeps US pretty busy, but we've all
ways got time to stop and eject q
sassy passenger. So you want to be-
have yourself TO so through with u.s..
or will you have your bag gage set off
here by the haystack ?"-TitBits.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1907-12-17
Mons Prnn,sea.

The following advertisement ap-
Dearcd In conspicuous British paper,
Blythswooi Evening Lecture
tsSeciaD Rov w. Fergus: eTba
Risky Promises Men Are Ana 90 Make
iA SUMNER" ~ = M .. m,
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1907-12-17
With Fleets of the Air
Land Wars Will Cease

With Their Enemies lowering Over Them Spying Out
Every Hostile Move Armies Will Be Useless, Declares
Major acknowledgements England's Greatest
Hope-Whie France, With the Wonderful Patrie and
Germany With Her Military Balloon Are Making Prog
ress the British in Secret Are Following the Wright Model
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1907-12-17

Nahum =. Humphrey, ninety-seven
years old, Of Springfield, Mass,
claims to be The only man now living
who shook hands with General La
fayotto when that worthy attended
tho dedication Of the Bunker mn
Mepamsnh
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1907-12-17
j. 7. Waldo & Co.'S.
LIVERY AND FEED STABLE,
cRANTsVILLE, w. VA.

Keeps constantly on handl Delsd
Hay, Chop. eto., etress0nabls fates.
Gao supply you with a horse, single
horss buggy, two-bqrse buggy os sbR
fex, With OF withqut driver, ief shofI
feafenebl4 bFieea