The Washington herald., 1907-03-28
Failure at Fort Dodge.

No more do We hang our hope upon
Fort Dodge. When the great compulsory
marriage reform was Inaugurated there
by Mayor Bennett and We learned that in
cue week after he had introduced in his
municipal legislature an ordinance impos-
ing a fine upon every unmarried male and
female person between the ages OF twan-
ty-fve and forty-five. he was called upon
to tie the knot for fourteen couples, we
thought a start had been made But in
this We were mistaken The reform has
been checked, and now undoubtedly those
fourteen couples have a kick coming.
They were too easily frightened by our
erstwhile hero.
The mayors ordinance was referred 10 a
special committee of the city council for
consideration. Of which certain faint
hearted person named Crawford was, or is.
the chairman. The special committee has
reported adversely on the ordinance. We
let Crawford tell the reason why. 'I
could stand the men, says he. but when
it comes to being met by a regular dragon
IN skirts every time the door bell rings
and stormed and ragged at until your ac-
her foot and marches of hurting a final
burst of vituperative epithets at you. I
beat retreat Why. I have been bounded
at every turn by these spinsters. They
storm and rage and then burst into tears
and plead and eajole. They won't listen
TO reason. Every argument is met with
Withering scorn. The ordinance is a great
need IN Fort Dodge. Everybody knows
that it is true there are more bachelors
and spinsteTs here than in any other town
of its size in the West They should
marry by all that is right, but unless
compelled to by an ordinance such as this
they never will"
Judge Busby, another member of the
committee, also has been hectored and
confesses his inability 10 perform his
duty. "These women are relentless" he
declares, "and TO report that measure for
passage would mean 10 destroy forever a
mans hopes Of earthly peace, and, If we
are to believe the spinsters, place in jeop-
ardy his fate hereafter" It appears also
that one lone, forsaken. and unhappy man
piped out his plant to the committee-but
only one. What he said was. of course,
not worth paying telegraph tolls on from
Fort Dodge to the newspaper Offices
throughout the civilized world. All that Is
reported of him is that when the room
had become quiet Harry Swift appeared
as spokesman for bachelors. His impas-
stoned appeal was followed by another
prolonged outburst of applause"
For Swift We have pity. For the en-
hattled spinsters of Fort Dodge we have
admiration. They have the courage OF
their convictions. The Swifts may have
convictions, but they have precious little
courage, as evidenced by their plight The
conviction OF every mothers son of a
Swift is that he ought to be married, but
he pretends that he holds diametricaliy
the opposite view. This pretense deeeives
nobody, not even the spinsters. however
gratifying to the vanity Of the swifts it
may be. But We wonder how this partieu-
lar Swift summoned sufficient courage TO
plunge into the swirling vortex of femi-
ninity that reared around the hapIess
members Of Mayor Benefits special COM
mittee- We wonder how he felt and how
he looked and how his teeth chattered.
Now that Fort Dodge's promising re-
form seems obviously to have been
crushed at its incipiency. we make bold
again 10 suggest a substitute for the or
dlnance, which is that instead of inpos-
ing hne upon obdurate heart-whoie and