The independent., 1907-01-31

Mr.. DOOLEY ON THE ARMY CANTEEN
By F. p DUNNE
By F. P. DUNNE

an twas a fine sight. TIL sojer was
firm tn County Kerry an had thrip
an Doherty is tn champeen catch-as-
catch can rassler iv Camp Twenty
eight. He had a little tn worst iv 1t,
fr he cud on'y get a neck holt, tn
warryor hayin' no slack to his pants,
but he landed him at last. Twas
gr- reat to see thin doin' a cart-Wheel
down tn sthreet" i~F5
WAS tn sojer under tn inf1oonce"
asked Mr.. Hennessy.
."Ye might say he was" said Mr..
Dooley. '"That is we might say SO IL
We didn't know that tn dhrinkin' hab-
it's iv' tn army have been rayformed.
Didn't ye know they were? They ar-re.
Yes, Sir. TIL motto iv our brave fell
lows is now Away, away, tn bowl
',ris Wine fr tn thremblin' debauchee,
but water pure water, fr me- lis
Father, dear father come home with
me now An who did it? Who is 1t
that improves men an makes thin
more ladylike an thin quits thin but
tn ladies'? This here rayform was
carried out by tn Young Ladies
Christyan Timprance Union, no less.
Ye see twas this way. Fr nanny
years it's been tn theery that dhrink
an ightin' Wint arm-in- arm. IL ye
dhrank ye fought; If yo fought ye
dhrank to fight again. AS Hogan says,
Mars, who was tn gawd iv war, was
no good onless he was pushed into
throuble be Backis, the gawd iv
dhrink. About tn time Mars was
r-ready to quit an go home to do tn
Spring plowin' Backs handed him
jjgger iv kerosene an says: That
fellow over there is leerin' at ye. Ar-re
ye goin to stand that?' an Mars bus
tied in. Th' barkeeper or tn banker
ARE behind ivry war.
"Wel. in former times tn Govern
mint kept a saloon fr tn sojers. UP
at Fort Shurdan they had a ginmll
where tn warryors cud go an besot
thimsilves with bottled beer an dom
inoes. 1t was a tur-able sight to see
thin grim heroes, survivors iv thou
sand marches through tn damp
sthreets on Decoration Day, settin' in
these temples iv hell an sWillin' down
th' hated cochineel that has made
Milwaukee what 1T s To this place
iv vice tn intrepid defnder iv his
Nations honor hastened whin he had
completed tn arjoos round iv his
jooties, afther he had pressed tn Loo
tinant's clothes, curried tn Captains
horse mended tn roof iv tn Majors
house, Watered tn geeranyums fr tn
Coonel's wife, an written his daily
letter to tn paper complainin' about
TIL food There he sat an dhrank an
fought over his old battles with tn
cook an recalled tn name that he
give Whin he first enlisted an thried
to think who it was he married in
Fort LeavenWorth ontil tn bugle sum-
fr parI o. He'd
supper.
"Well, Sir twas dhreadful We op-
posed it as much as we cud. AS
dillygate to tn Biniyolent Assocyation
iv Saloon Keepers iv America. I've
helped to pass nanny resolutions to
save our brave boys in yellow firm tn
insidyous foe that robs thin of what
intellicts they show be goin' into tn
army. Our organization petitioned
congress time an time again TO take
tn Government out iv this vile poor
SCOT that was sappin tn very vitals iv
our sojery Why, we asked. shud
Uncle Sam engage in this here thraffic
I'm tn souls iv men without payin fr
n license. whin dacint citizens were
putin up their good money block
away an niver soul comm down
firm tn fort to be thrafficked in? Did
Congress pay amy attntlon 10 US ~
did not.
but wan day a comfy iy ladies
firm tn Young Ladies chrisryan Tim
perance Union wint out to tn fort.
They'd seen tn Colonel AT tn last
prade an they'd decided that, twas
high time they distributed copies iv
Death In tn Bottle; or, TIL Booze
Fighters Finish. among our fearless
soiery. WhIn they got up there they
seen large bunch Nv our gallant fell
lows maxim dash f'r an outlyln
building, an says wan IN thcm' What
can they be In such hurry f'rf That
must be tn chapel, Let us 80 in
An In they whit Hlnnissy, tn sight
that met their young an unaccus-
toned eyes was enough to shock even
lady lookln f'r throuhle, tn air
was gray an blue With IA fumes w
that heeJous weed that has made man
Kind happy though single or four hun.
dherd years, an that next to alcohol
Is III greatest curse iv IN sons iv