The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-11-16
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"Home was never like this" said
Mr.. Henpeck, as he was shown about
the deaf and dumb asylum.
Jester.
Baron Ito his servant)-Johann, has
anybody been smoking my cigars except
yourself? Servant-Yes, sir, you
Fliegende Blatter.
"She did a very foolish thing when
she married" "Why, he was rich,
wasn't her" "Yes-he was the foolish
thing cleveland Leader.
percy, papa says you mustn't come
to see me any more" "Why, Aggie,
how could L? I'm already coming seven
times a week Chicago Tribune.
"Do you think young Propsley will
astonish his friends yhen they see him
on the stage" Eyes, If they think he
can act"-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Mr.. Jawback-The biggest idiots al
ways seem to marry the prettiest
women. Mrs. Jawback-Now, you're
trying to flatter me.-Cleveland Leader.
'I'm just crazy to be reporter"
said the rich mans daughter. "Insan-
ity is no qualification" returned the
editor, closing the Observation-Disclosures
phia Ledger.
"Your wife needs exercise; she sits
still too much" "I'll get her a silk
skirt" How will that help?' "Shell
keep moving so as to make it rustic"
Houston Post.
Landlord-Sir, the other tenants will
not stay In the fat If you insist on
playing the cornet. Mr.. Toots-Im
glad Of that They were very annoy
ing.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Father" said little Rollo, what Is
evolution" Evolution, my son, is a
sort Of apology which man has invent
ed for displaying 30 many Of the traits
of the lower animals Washington
Star
Helm going to bring Jolt home
with me to dinner tonight She-Oh,
mercy, dear, don't! It's the cooks day
out, and I'll have to cook dinner! He
Never mind; owe Jolt one, anyway
-Yonkers Statesman.
what has become Of the maid you
thought such a prize?" "Oh, 1 had to
let her CO." replied the second fashion
able woman. after her operation for
appendicitis she thought she was one
of ua"-Philadelphia Ledger.
Dear little Maudie awoke about 2
O'Clock the other morning and asked
mamma to tell her fairy tale. Its
too late, darling" mamma replied.
Daddy will be in shortly, and he'll tell
us both one."-Philadelphia Inquirer.
willie, did you put your nickel in
the contribution box in Sunday school
to-dayf" mo, mamma. 1 asst Eddie
Lake, the preachers son, If / couldn't
keep 1t an spend 1t fer, candy, an he
give me permission. Denver News.
''The lady whose name you gave as
reference, Della" said Mrs. Hiram
Often, "tells me you were not always
truthful and obedient." mo, ma'am."
replied the new servant, II couldn't be-
wild her tellin' me all the time to saw
she wasn't at home."-Philadelph
Press.
May I intwoduce to you my
fwiend?" asked fashionable young
man at recent dance. "He is a lit
ewawy man, you know" "Indeed!" ex-
claimed his partner. "Aw, yes. He
sent the Society News list of the
guests at the last pahty, and the editah
accepted it."-Tit-Bits.
81 am afraid, madam" said gentle
man who was looking for country lodg-
.ings, "that the house is too near the
station to be pleasant" 'It is a little
noisy" assented the landlady, but
from the front veranda one has such
fine view Of people who miss the
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Inquirer.
Her (sighing)-Oh, met such a
lovely, polite man to-day. Him
Where was that? Heron the street.
must have been carrying my umbrella
carelessly, for he bumped his eye into
it. And l said, Pardon me-" and he
said, Don't mention i'll have another
eye left. cleveland Leader.
Minister (on return from holiday
Well, Daniel, my good man, and how
have things been going on in my alb
sence? Daniel-Deed, sir, a. things
been gaun on brawly. They say you
meenisters when We gang frae home
aye TAX guild care to send waur men
than yourseelfs to fill the poopit But
ye never dae that, sir Punch.