The Washington herald., 1907-10-20
BY HELEN ROWLAND,


Here's an odd case remarked the
Mere Man, laying down his newspaper
and drawing his chair into a position
from which he could watch the light Of
the studio FIRE playing on the Bachelor
Girls profile "A man wants his mar
riage aunulled on the plea that at the
time IT occurred he was under the in
/ fuence of an opiate and didn't know what
was happening
Il don't see anything odd about that. "
returned the Bachelor Girl. nonchalantIy.
as she put down her palette and brushes
with a sigh and reached for her fancy
work. do they ever know what is hap
pening2"
I suppose not agreed the Mere Man,
striking match thoughtfully, "or it
wouldu't-"
And aren't they always under the in
/ fuence of-of something when Il does
happen?" pursued the Bachelor Girl. hold
/ ing out her embroidery frame and re-
garding a distorted orchid with satisfac-
tion.
The Mere Man glanced at her reproach-
fully
''You speak" he declared, accusiugly,
'as If marriage were a thing that merely
happened L thought it was usually pre-
meditated"
1T is. rejoined the Bachelor Girl, TAX
ing stitch decisively. "by the woman;
but it always Just happens 10 the man.
To him. love is an Incident"
and marriage an accident interrupt
ed the Mere Man wryIy- I suppose he
added. resignedly. its the effect of the
/ influence.
."The-what2" The Bachelor Girl held
her needle poised in midair.
"Of love" explained the Mere Man. cor
the opiate or the woman. When a chap
loses his heart"
That has nothing 10 do with his
marrying" retorted the Bachelor Girl.
promptly It's when he loses his head
that he does that. It's when he isn't
looking and doesn't know what's com
ing and hasn't the least idea Of doing
such a thing that he careIessly walks
into the matrimonial moose and is tied
for life before he is aware OF IT, A
man in a normal frame of mind will
go on for years resisting the most
fascinating woman on earth or dOdg-
ing the girl 10 whom he has lost his
heart. and then suddenly. in a Mt OF
mental alteration, he'll turn around
and marry some impossible creature
who will make him miserable for the
rest Of his life-Simply because she
happened 10 be there at the moment"
Where" cried the Mere Man. glanc-
| ing around apprehensively. At what
moment2'
The moment when he has been jolted
off his guard. returned the Bachelor
Girl, placidly pulling her thread
through the center of the orchid, and
Jared oUt of the normal; when some
thing has happened TO turn his
thoughts upside down and change her
perspective and lull his caution TO
sleep and"
when the opiate has taken effect
finished the Mere Man, dramatically.
And he added, with a note Of pathos.
"one Of you is always standing by.
ready to give Us the jolt and 60 hand
US the opiate and
Yes" agreed the Bachelor Girl. un-
hesitatingly. It's not the woman a
man loves. but the one who knows best
how to put him under the influence Of
the Opiate whom he marries nine times
cut of ten. It's not the girl who waits
modestly and patiently for him to come
a-riding in, but the one who goes out
and trips up his horse; it's not the
woman who is suited TO him and who
| appeals to his better Judgment and his
common sense and his higher aspira-
/ tiOns, but the one who makes him
/ throw Judgment to the winds and fling
/ common sense out of the window and
/ forget all about his higher aspirations
/ and responsibilities and monthly ex-
| penses-who takes him off his guard
/ and off his feet at the same moment
and leads him blindfolded to the
altar"
Help! Help cried the Mere Man,
starting 10 rise from his chair
There isn't any help" declared the
| Bachelor Girl, and there won't be any
/ help for it so long as men continue to
/ look upon matrimony as something
/ which must be lodged and avoided and
run away from: so long as they won't
/ face Il calmly and sensibly."
Would you face a street car calmly
/ and sensibly" cried the Mere Man, wav-
/ ing his cigarette excitedly, II you stood
| on the track and saw il bearing down
/ upon you? Would you face a runaway
/ horse or an automobile, or a cyclone, or
a surgeons knife-calmly and sensibly?'
1 Would you"
mo" the Bachelor Girl interrupted the
/ TRADE with a laugh. But" she added,