davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17
Sneering at Department Clerks.

The Cincinnati Enquirer thus editorially
sneers at the government clerks of Wash
ington:
One Of the economic journalists 0f The time
remarks that the poor government clerk has no
eztra-lay coupons attached % his SALARY. Those
whose hearts are rending for the poor govern
meut clerk might do him d great service by
showing him in what private employment he could
Do better. we'll. be is doing IN the bar
Hacle public service. where there is a class life
tenure. and an assurance Of pension
II is such sentiment as this. or seuti-
ment inspired by such editorial sueers. as
this. that prompts Congress 10 withhold
from the departmental people here the
justice SO manifestly due them. "Barna-
Gle public service" indeed, Nowhere can
you find work better performed or money
more honestly earned than right here at
Washington. The average government
clerk. had he started his career in private
life, not only would be doing as well as
he is doing to-day. but in all probability
he would be doing better. He-the aver
age government employe-gives his en-
ployer. Uncle Sam, the best possible serv-
ice; the highest order Of ability.
II is cheap talk, the brutal talk Of A
taskmaster, TO say-when prices are go
ing up and the government clerk is put to
his wits ends 70 live within his means-to
say TO him: IF you don't like your job.
get out; go and see where you can find as
good one" The tyranny of wealth is
disclosed by such a sentiment. But even
if Congress has failed to 90 the mani
testify just thing; even if it does dodge the
square deal" after looking after its per-
sOnal pocket, we are quite sure il does
not share the abominable sentiment here
Quoted-a sentiment based upon Islander,
and which, one would think. could not
find expression in an American news
paper.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17
CAPITOL GOSSIP.
why He Won't Go.


President Roosevelt will not make the
promised speech at Columbus the first
week in June. He had accepted an in
vitation to deliver an address at the Ohio
State capital at the invitation Of the
managers Of a fair conducted by negroes,
and had fully intended to fill the engage
ment. From the first, he has been
uncertain whether or not it would Fl in
with other pressing engagements. and his
acceptance of the invitation was never
conclusive, however it may be regarded
by the eminent coIored Ohloans who an
nounced exultantly to the world that they
had secured for their fair one of the
greatest attractions in the world In
point Of fact, II appears that they have
overadvertised the President It is this
mainly which has caused him 10 change
MS mind. Certain elements Of the white
population of Columbus advised the
President that he could accomplish more
public good by delivering an address at
columbus at later date than that tenta-
lively agreed upon.
The Ohio contingent yesterday discussed
the subject with considerable interest
mr. EUEn htmem DeEFd.
Former Senator James L. Pugh, OF
Alabama, who has made his home in
Washington since his retirement from
public life to give place to the venerable
Gen. Pettus, does not often visit the Cap
itol' but whenever he does something Of
an unusual character generally happens.
Under the rules Of Congress ex-members
of either branch are allowed the privi-
leges Of the floor Of. that house TO which
they have belonged Mr. Pugh has
availed himself Of that privilege at the
Senate wing OF the Capitol whenever il
has suited hts pleasure, but until a few
days ago he had had no occasion TO enter
the House while that body was IN session. |
When he started through the main door
of the lower chamber. he was promptly
challenged by a vigilant dOorkeeper, who
questioned bis right &c enter. The door
keeper pointed out to the aged Alabama
statesman that only ex-members Of the
House were entitled 10 the privileges OF
the floor. Mr.. Pugh uncomplaiulnglv
turned and retraced his steps He had
proceeded only Il short distance from the
door when he recalled that in the dim.
distant days Of 1850 he was elected a
member of the House from his district I'm
Alabama, that he occupied his seat IN
that chamber a few months and then re-
signed to take part IN fhe civil war as "A
Confederate soldier He was soon after
ward elected a member of the Confederate
Congress. When lie returned to the door
from which he had been cOurteously
turned away and informed the guardian
there of his former service in the House /
he was at once admitted without further
parley.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17
Prevention of War

From the Boston Herald
The whole tendency Of the times is to-
ward the safeguarding Of peace through
the prevention of war The civilized man
is getting ready TO lift himself out of a
classification with brutes and beasts as
a fighting animal"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17
THE GARDEN OF LIFE.

Man has got four ages.
As you here viii see:
In his happy childhood
Gets the Christmas tree.
Past that blissful season,
Older grown to be.
Then from Ewes fair daughters
Gets the apple tree
When for bread and butter
All his children yell
II must with a hustle
Shake the plum tree wei.
last, when lean and slippcred,
All his pleasures fee.
He has grave suspicious
Og = lemon tree.
New YoEk Itme&
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17
Our OccnsIonnI Thoughf.

The man that swindles those who trust
him is not only a villain, but his work is
coarse The really smooth proposition is
the man that swindles those who don't
trust him
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17
4 Friend In Need.

Lend me a quarter. old man." said
Yorick Hamm. I'm starving"
Haven't a cent. dear boy" declared
Hamlet Fatt, but come with me. !
can get you on as an extra man. and
we have real food in the banquet scene. 90
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17
SPRINGS ADVANCE AGENT.

oh, sunny days.
You bless our gaze.
Though you be a vagary,
And not Just what
We erstWhie got
IN tickle February.
But we'd not ask
Why, while we hask
In days SO bland and sunny,
But take the bless
lngs. nothing less.
Which are full worth the money.
But though 70 b.
Just now that we
Enjoy days bright and new 10 US,
We cant help Won-
Der when they r. done
Just what old March viii dc to US.
Indianapolis News.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
NOE rNREAsoNARI.E

If ! had half a million plunks
BY true and actual count,
And
Stocks enough to I'll two trunks.
With bonds to like amount,
And
Could I but take Of stocks my pick
IL making up my list.
Then
/ feel that l might cease TO kick,
And be an optimist.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

the provisions of the measure as it
came from the House. II is needless 20
say that the sponsors of the House bill
had no intention of deprivIng any de-
PENDANT of his constitutional rights, and
that their view of the scope of the bill
is that II has and would have no such
effect Mr. Jenkins says that 1T very
carefully guarded the rights OF the de-
PENDANT by providing that he could not
be further punished by the government"
This provision seemed insufficient 10 many
Senators, and the bin underwent prac-
teal reconstruction in the upper body.
Where so many able lawyers disagree,
it would be folly for the layman to in
trude an opinion. but we may be allowed
to express a hope that If the effect of the
Senate amendment Is as Mr.. Jenkins rep
Tesents it, the bill may be brought into
harmony with its original purpose and
passed before Congress adjouTns. II
would be useless to pass an emasculated
bill, though we do not like to think that
the Senate has deliberately deprived it Of
all value and purpose. We trust Chair
man Jenkins may find a way to adjust
the present differences of opinion over
this important administration measure.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17
National Pie Counter.

From the Cleveland Leader.
IL is entirely unnecessary for the Wash
ington papers 10 call attention to the fact
that theirs is the greatest pie city in the
world Every politician in the country
knows the location of the biggest pie
counter
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17
The Scramble of Interests.

From the New York Sun.
Protection in spots and free trade in
spots is the most vicious political heresv
known TO man. and resolves all economic
legislation into a sqUabble for local adj
vantage. Secretary Leslie NJ. Shaw
What is il under present conditions?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17
Hopeful View of the Negro.

Frc.1 the Richmond Times Dispatch.
We are not afraid of the good negro. no
matter how well educated how rich and
he may be, We insist that
the good negroes do not make race
problem; Ne feel sure that they never
Will
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17
Buying Up the Country.

From the Dallas News.
Trusts are particularly dangerous when
they have accumulated enough money to
BUY the whole country including the
schools and churches.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17
InconrIdernfe.

THE judge is somewhat peremptory.'
"As TO how?"
We'll, he insisted on adjourning court
right in the middle Of my hypothetical
question.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17
The old RIock system.

From the Atlanta Constitution.
Why not let the hero who occasionally
flags the trains with a red flannel shirt
take the place of the block system?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

Atlanta has dubbed Mr.. Rockefeller
Colonel" which is Atlanta's newly ap-
proved way Of commencing operations on
wealthy strangers within her borders since
Mr.. Hoke Smith bit a chunk out Of the
Barney Stone and proceeded 70 rehabili-
tate that state
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

But how about the PRESIDENT in
quired Senator Wise. He wants a finger
IN every pie"
We've got that fixed" answered Sen
ator ShTude we propose 10 start ten
other pies as a blind This pie will be
number eleven"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

From the Richmond Times-D Dispatch
The Washington Herald reports that the
earthquake viii not curtail the output of
genuine Jamaica rum. And doubtless New
Jersey knows the reason.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17
The FornI.erinn Ner.inn

From the Omaha Bee
The suspicion is growing that Senator
Foraker would rather be wrong than be
President.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

No matter how hard he labors, Senator
Tillman does not seem able to please the
Senate When he tries to give d minstrel
show, they sit down upon him; and when
he says war, right out loud and sassy"
like, they sit down upon him again.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

a Pennsylvania seer says the world viii
come 10 an end in 1905. while q Texas
prophet sees a perfect Democratic land
slide at that time One seems quite as
likely as the other. but you never can
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

The Georgia Railroad has offered
private car and engine to an Augusta
editor free of all cost i'm order that he
may ride up and down the road TO his
hearts content, inspecting things and
otherwise looking around. That isn't apt
10 make much of a hit with the editor.
however, when he considers what Con-
gress has done about that sort Of thing.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17
AIdrIch and Bacon.

Mr.. Bacon, Of Georgia. who is not
averse 10 being elected Democratic lead
er of the Senate. came to the rescue Of
the puisSant Mr.. Aldrich yesterday I'm
great shape. Some newspapers had
charged the powerful Rhode Island Sen
ator with having paralyzed the Demo-
cratic opposition 20 the immigration bill
by threatening TO cut out of the river and
harbor bill certain important appropria-
lions for the South. Mr.. Bacon. in the
course of a speech on the immigration
bill. referred to this report. Instantly Mr..
Aldrich stood up and took notice. The
Georgian waved his hand deprecatingly.
or. perhaps. apoIosetically, toward him.
IF the Senator viii DE good enough to
wait until ] finish this sentence he prob
ably viii not want 20 interrupt me. ex-
planned Mr. Bacon.
Mr. Aldrich sat down. with a deter
mined, impatient expression upon his
face.
Il desire TO state" resumed Senator
Bacon. that everybody IN this chamber
who is acquainted with the Senator from
Rhode Island viii agree with me when I
say that the conduct ascribed to him IS
not az all in keeping with his character
and methods"
Then Mr. Bacon sat down. and up rose
Senator AldTiCh, who spoke with unac-
custOmed heat of the charge. Characteriz-
ing il as the emanation Of somebody's
imagination that is wholly without war
rant"
As he resumed his seat he nodded his
thanks 10 Mr. Bacon. and the Georgian
saluted the. Rhode Islander graciousIv.
showing that if Mr. Bacon should be
elected Democratic leader he and Mr.
Aldrich would get along together all right
which is a big consideration as Senate
things go.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

The King of England's message to Par
lament was a rather tame affair. II
didn't call forth a single point-with-pride
from his friends or a view-with-alarm
from his enemies.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

From the Columbia State.
Our new motto: e pluribus Roose-
Welt.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17
Subscription Rates by Mail.

No attention i0iL be paid to anonymous
contributions, aud no communications to
the editor ioiH be printed eTeept OUer the
name Of the tOTiteT.
Manuscripts offered for publication t0iH
be returned If unavailable, but stamps
should be sent 90ith the manuscript for
that purpose.
Al communications Intended for this
newspaper. tCHetHer for the daily or the
SuHd0V issue, should be addressed TO
THE WASHINGTON HERALD.
New York Office. Nassau Beekmsn Bldg, LaCoste *
Maxwell Managers.
Chicago Once. Marquette Bldg, LaCests Max
well. Managers
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY L. 1907
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

Dr. Wiley should go slow about picking
flaws IN ice cream soda and sarsaparilla
pop. Think Of the concentrated wrath
Of all the sweet summer girls now bud
ding and soon 10 bloom.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

Wouldn't you like 20 know how things
viii look in 1906? Well. it is that time
right now-according 10 the Chinese calen-
Oar
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

Another reason why we will not. under
any circumstances. fight Japan is because
we already have several thousand more
islands in that vicinity than we know
what to 90 with
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

Connecticut comes forward with phe-
nomenal lady pianist who is absolutely
deaf In this she probably has a great
advantage over her audiences.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

II must not be thought that the abolition
of the State dispensary in South Carolina
viii in any wise lessen the governors con-
versational powers
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

Il write because am impelled by a
power I cannot resist" says Marie
CorelIi. That does seem about the most
plausible theory.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

The first almanac was printed In 1860,
and there were doubtless just as big FISH
liars and weather prognosticators In those
DAYS as now
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

who reads Shakespeare now?' asks
Harpers Weekly. Some one is forever
trying 10 read him cut of the galaxy OF
the great
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17
What He Took.

YES. they wanted Mr. Pompus to take
a back seat"
And did he?'
Not he. He took affront"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

It is to be hoped that Senator Rayner
viii not put in execution his threat to
reopen the Schley case. There is trouble
enough in this country now.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

A bill has been introduced in the Penn
sylvania legislature which seeks to COM
pei love-sick SWANS to depart before the
hour of midnight. This will compel them
to commence the gOod-bys Immediately
upon arrival
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

A Milwaukee man sixty-one years Of
age says he has never been kissed He
can hardly expect the girls TO enthusi-
astically entertain the idea of breaking
him IN at this late day.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

Now that we have the experts opin-
ion OF Harry Thaw. it would be equally
interesting TO have Thaw's opinion Of the
experts"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

In the initial number of Ridgway's the
statement was made we have started
this magazine because we had to do it. ''
And stopped il because?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

The trouble with the pernicious sun
spot is that it allowed the foolish brigade
70 get such a start of it this year.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

rs the Shaw Robertson Caesar true to
history" asks the Baltimore Sun. As
true as great Caesars ghost,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

The world is surely growing better.
Texas gentlemen call one another liar"
and nothing comes Of it; six Kentuckians
engage ia shooting scrape, and nobody
gets hurt.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

Unless the tariff can manage TO disguise
itself as some sort of a pension arrange
ment, il VIII probably have q hard time
getting proper attention from Congress
for a good many days 10 come.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

Il doesn't require any label for us 30
be able to distinguish between our "Old
Borax" Wiley and Expert Wiley, of the
Thaw case renOwn
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

It is mighty relief to know that the
Thaw mess viii not be poured back into
the jug and served all over again.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

Paying for expert" evidence seems to
be something like paying for "a perfect
love- OF an Easter hat.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17
Broken

Look for predictions
Any day
Concerning winters
Yertebrae.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

Life.
Wre here today.
And then away;
But triumph has been scored.
II honest work
We never shirk
And manage to pay bord
Philadelphia Ledger.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

The Marian bow-wOws will have to
content themselves with baying the moon.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

Certain Ohio grand juries are indicting
people for getting married. This RoOse-
velt-Foraker war is getting 10 he serious
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

The next Panama chief should be in
structed 10 get busy and dig it. or beat H.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

After all Il is quite a neat little compli-
ment 10 King Edward that England IN
calling for a revision Of the proyer book
al the hands of its friends, names the
King as chief reviser.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

That prophet who predicted a violent
earthquake for New England "on St
Valentines Day" will have TO hedge by
declaring he didn't say which one
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

A statistician says there are as many
Indians in this country as there were 300
years ago. but no more. And the Indian
isn't q race suicider. either
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

The mayor of Milwaukee has gone 10
England 10 meet the King Doubtless his
majesty has heard OF Milwaukee
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

The dainty art of courtship is nearly
forgotten says the Woman at Home
Magazine Oh. no. il hasn't You can't
expect TO see and hear what's going on
an the time
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

"a friend of mine, said Mr. T. VI. MAY
bury, of New York at the Arlington. "was
unwise enough to name his boy baby for
IA man toward whom he entertained
strong personal attachment The mis-
take he made was in naming the child
for a person who was still living. Here
is tip to all young fathers and mothers:
Never bestow on your infant the name OF
a parsonage, however great. who is yet
existing; wait till he has been gathered 10
his fathers
well. the baby had scarcely reached
the mature age of one month until the
great one whose name he bore was in
dicted and convicted Of thievery and all
sorts of rascalty The case attracted
national attention. because OF the promi-
nence Of the principal Ny friend was in
despair; he did not want his child to go
through life handicapped with a name OF
such sinister sound. He hurried to the
great preacher. Or. StorTs. who had Off
ciated at the Juveniles christening and
told his tale Of sorrow. The good man.
in his kindly, liberal way, smiled and said:
I guess that is not past remedy, for, as
remember, the minutes have not been
written Up get, Give baby new utls.H
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17

iHohEuI me ON tho OUT1e cattle.
or silly sheep VIVA hide this brattle
a. wiutry war;
Or through the drift deep hiriug sprattle
Beneath o scaur.
Tx mapping bird. wee helpless thing
That IN the merry months o. spring
Delighted me 10 hear thee sing
What comes o. thee:
Where wilt thcu cyu'r thy chittcriug wing
Aud close tbs c'e|
This is worth several homilies on
mercy, for it is the voice of mercy her
self"
We must certainly conclude that the
author of my text was a humane and
compassionate man. like Robert Burns
No doubt he had looked out for some OF
his poor neighbors who were IN want OF
fuel. and then his big heart went out
to the poor little robin. He remembered.
no doubt. that man must not disdain
his brotherhood. even with the poorest
and most abject of his race-even the
smallest creature of life" He felt that
when ne should knock at the gate OF
heaven no semblance of an unspotted or
charitable life could entitle him to en-
trance there. Love of neighbor and
charity to the poor must be his who
kneels and asks for recognition, ere
mercy comes from the footstool Of the
throne; and to him who is wanting in
these qualities that golden gate will not
be opened"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-02-17
Evidently Not.

Everything she tells you is an exsg-
geration.r
Did you ever ask her her age or the
size of her shoe2"