The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1907-01-17

turned back to hOi pOlloi in the shape
Of annual dividends with blue trading
stamps with every dollars worth.
which on presentation at the office of
any gas company in the United States
will entitle the bearer to free gas for
the rest of his natural life.
THE expected improvements in the
public service will lie along the better
ment OF cars, an increased urbanity on
tls part of the mOtOrmen and conduct
)rs and far greater regard for beau
Y in all rapid transit matters As
understand the situation as to the first
Improvements. the ears are to he larger
to begin with. better ventilated and
without straps No ear will be so
small that anybody will ever have to
stand in or out OF rus! hours Each
passenger will be provided with Il Nor
ris chair on Il swivel. with Il writing
desk and an electric light attached. sta
tionery and typcwritcrs To he had on
application TO the conductor At one
end of each ear there will be Car
negie library and a reading room. with
all the magazines and wceklics OH
file. and ut the other buffet where
soft drinks will he dispensed by the
hest mixers the politicians can drum
up. In the advertising panels that run
around the walls of the car. instead of
these being merely frieZeS of patent
medicines, face powders, breakfast
foods and corsets. elevating literature
will be printed by such authors as
Dicky Davis, Ella Wheeler Wilcox and
Henry James. with a college graduate
on the rear platform to explain the
para graphs of the last named author
to those who do not understand reform
ed rhetoric Ladies' will be escorted TO
their seats by bcllboys, and every car
will have chaperon, aided 10y Il com
petent bouncer to see that attractive
looking shoppers, dainty little widows
and others Of the fHmale persuasion are
able to travel block without being
oglcd of the car by yagrom drummers
and lads from the smoke regions late
ly come into possession OF their fl
Tiers hard earned savings.
All the motormcn will he put
through course Of instruction IN GOOD
manners. 80 that when Il lady on 4
street corner holds Zip her finger as 4
sign chat she would like to yet aboard.
instead of cutting her dead, as many
of them do ut present. and going ahead
rs though the company didn't want
any passengers. they will stop the car,
lift their hats like pack Of Chester
fields, gather up her bundles, call her
attention to the weather express the
hope that her family are all enjoying
good health and see to it that she gets
inside the car without falling on her
face or sitting unexpectedly down in
the lap of an entire stranger The
conductors will be similarly trained
only they will lie rather better edu-
Gated than the man on the front plat
form | can think Of no better way
to show what the conductors will be
than to say that they will resemble the
modern policeman. that fine flower of
the municipal ownership of the con
Stabulary.
You know what happens if YOU ask
4 policeman anything. He at once
touches his helmet in respectful salu-
taton. tlickS the dust from the breast
of his blue coat and places himself en-
tirely at your service. Anything You
want to know he tells you with Il
pleasant smile or with an expression
of deep and poignant regret informs
you that he j. not at the moment in
possession of the information you seek.
but will find ont at the earliest pos
siblc opportunity and send word by
special delivery post If you will kindly
give him Your address. All of you
who have had that experience with Il
policeman will know what to expect
from the municipal ownership con
ductOr. The city fathers rs represent
cd by their commissioner of trolleys
will take the same care in the selection
of the men that they now take through
the police commissioner in the Selec-
ton of the preservers of tho peace. so
that we may rest easy rs TO the SUI
perior morale of the force
Then, as for the roadbcd, which Is
nowadays something Of an eyeSOre in
certain localities. the trollev commits
sioners will seek the cooperation of