The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-11-09
HOW THE RESOURCEFUL REPORTER
STIRRED UP THE QUIET LITTLE BURG
In Writing of the Wedding and to Avoid Libel Suit He was
Careful to Use ut Alleged" and ut is Understood"
The Riley County Traveller i'm the
Manhattan Nationalist.

Well my dear Alphonso, l have
been doing some substitoot work on
a country news paper since 1 wrote
to you the last time. l had a siren
uous time. and am not quite out of
danger yet. I am listing for the
sound of heavy artillery in the direc-
ton of Leonardville, and when /
hear the rattle of muskittery it's a
good bys CASTOR for me. l will hit
the high spots for Wamego.
You see it's like thusly, as l shall
explain to you. / went up to Leo
nardville last week and applied for
job on the Leonardville Merrimac,
the leading organ of the community.
was looking for experience ON a
real country weekly, and I got it.
Besides l thought l might win the
prize offered for the best article on
some up to date subject. IL the editor
was feeling flush.
The Merrimac is a news paper of
gigantic proportions, built during
Ne Civil war by the Confederates
1t carries a heavy staff. Once a day
they use the staff to poke the fire
with. The walls of the Merrimac
are decorated with pictures of all
kinds, fancy crayon sketches, pastel
and black colors. Numerous port
or nj he
Merrimac, and the editor has a re-
volving turret full of frowning guns.
The searchlights of the Merrimac
sweeps the town of Leonardville
every day, and discloses the hiding
places of the enemy, and once
week or SO the Merrimac discharges
a volley of bird shot and can-a-star
which tears great holes in the
country side and wrecks the post
office.
l went to the Merrimac Office as
soon as l landed ju Leonardville,
and told the editor that l was a re-
porter. explained that I was an
old hand at the business, and would
be glad of the chance to earn few
cents to buy gingerbread.
The editor was sitting on nail
lkg, contemplating a razor which
he held In his right paw. guess he
was thinking about cutting his own
throat in order to stir up some news.
I was just in time to prevent a
horrible susan-side, for when he
heard me he swung around on the
nail key and said nervously:
Thank heaven, you've come. I've
been looking for somebody-any-
bOdy-to help us out of a scrape
Nothing has happened for a week,
and the paper must come out to-
morrow; go and find something, kill
somebody II necessary. Write 1t up
and show it to me-
Exhausted with words, the editors
voise gave away into a hollow CUR
gle, and he tainted and fell back
wards into the ink barrel. Tenderly
] dragged him out, scraped him off
with hoe, and laid him on the door
step to dry in the sun. Then tip
toed softly out of the Merrimac on
the hunt for news.
well got pencil, Scent note
book and Colts revolver. and 1t
wasn't long until l had unearthed
wedding which had happened the
night before, and the family was
anxious to have It written up In
style or not at all. They seemed
very much swelled up about 1t. as
getting married was an important
event.
OF cors. told the groom that |
would give him 100 lines or so. and
would brag on him and his bride.
and lie like thunder. provided he
would come down to the Merrimac
Office and buy 25 papers for 10 cents
apiece. He agreed to do this.
Well, I made my notes and hurri-
ed back to the ONCE. The editor
he'd revived. put his razor back on
the shelf and got down the June
ton City Onion. and the clay Senter
Dispatch. from which he chopped out
q personal or two with corn knife
which lay beside the paste pot.
We'll. I've got SCOOP" seq l.
gan right. write It up. But be
careful to avoid slandering any one.
In delicate matters always say such
things as 1T Is said" or 1T is alleg-
ed" or ut is understood" so there
will be no danger of libel suit. Do
you understand me?" ask the editor.
20. that's cinch." seq I. 81
never forget those little details.
You just watch me-"
So sat down and wrote the fol-
ierIng splendid account Of the we'd