davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14
Fell Over Each Other and Rolled
 Down Stairs.

dreamed it was wood, an it was asbes. tos all the time
 It amt hot. IS it?" demanded Pete.
 I'm sweatin pretty hard replied Bill
 So m l." admitted Pete, but it ain't heat. You got me nervous"
 An my eyes is smartin'." added Bill. T bet you. were dead, an we ain't got the sense to know it. There ain't no such place as this on earth. 2
 Shut up,' ordered Pete. If we was where you think we are, we'd be seorehin hot-real scorchin' an bis- terin'"
 But the suffecatlh' smell. Pete, an the ehekin. an, the smaftiH eyes. tell yoa we're dead aa bein trained easy for the big show. We got tc be worked up SOS We can stand it Even the devil wouldn't give q fellei the thirty=third degree right off .
 Pete wayered. His own eyes were smarting, his own throat Was hot and dry, his own breathing was difficult and painful. and his own mlnd was Unequal to the task of deciding the cause ef this choking, sulphusous at. mospbere. But he remembered the crates and boxes.
 Ne got to see what there is, " he said. We'll make a run to the second floor smash in the boxes an then git out
 Its birthstone" complained Bill. They don't need nothin' else in this place I tell you, Pete, we're dead, an the devils makin, us rehearse our old tricks Think of hayin' to rob hell of sulphur"
 Thus Bill whined. but he followed Pete. because he was afraid te dc stairs and burst open bedroom door.
 The inside furnace," yelled Bill. .eI1es got Us now.
 They gasped, choked. closed their smarting eyes. backed out, fell over each other. and rolled down the stairs still half crazed, they got to the door to the basement stairs and rolled down them also. At the window by which they had entered two policemen were waiting.
 We've got yeu" cried the police. men.
 arhank Heaven for that!" ex. claimed Bill.
 Take us, said Pete, as he permit. ted himself to be pulled out of the window.
 You didn't make your getaway. . laughed one of the policemen,
 That's just what we're doin' now" cried Bill and Pete. an no other fel- Iers ever got so close an come back '
 To the great surprise of the police men. these two malefactors seemed to derive great comfort and satisfaction from temporary association with the representatives of human law.
 "lt came near bein' worse, they said.
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14
CASE OF ECZEMA IN SOUTH.
Suffered Three Years-Hands and Eye Most Affected-Now Well and Is
 Grateful 10 Cuticura.

My wife was taken badly with ec- zema for three years, and she em- pioyed doctor with no effect at all until she employed cuticura Soap and Ointment One of her hands and her left eye were badly affected, and when she would stop using Gu fienea Soap and Ointment the eczema cane back, but very slightly; but 1t cid her sight of good. Then we complied with the instructions ill us i-g the entire set of Cntieura Rene eG.es and my wife is entirely reeov- cred. She thanks Cuticura very much and will recommend it highly in our locality and in every nook and cor. Her Of our parish. God bless you for the sake of suffering humanity. l. NJ. Robert, Hydropolis. La. Jan. , and Sept. 1, l906.s
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14
Gettirc Them Just Riqht.

X well-known inventor whe had be come dissatisfied with the work Of his tailor decided to try new one In giving his order for pair of trousers he instructed the new tailor to be careful to have them made ae- cording to the shape of his legs. as he was not satisfied with what he had been getting The tailor made notes as he progressed with the measure ments A week later the trousers were finished and delivered As the inventor opened the box he saw a work tag on the pants which the tailor had neglected to remove. On the tag were the measurements. also these words heavily underscored:
 "knockkneed as the devil"
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14
MAJORS PURPOSE IN CUBA.
Had No Idea of Going There to Dc
 the csnnibai Act.

An oficer of the army tells how Maj whipple of the Second Massa- chusetts regiment. a veteran of the civil war. hsstened to Washington when the Spanish war broke out and offered his services 10 President Me kinley.
 But all officers. as well as men, had fo undergo physical examination, and 1t was stated 10 Maj. Whipple that he would have to place himself in tie hands Of the examining doctors al Worcester
 Now. Maj. Whipple. while man of great bodily strength and perfect health and activity. was little de fieient in the matter Of teeth. An ex- amlning surgeon proposed to exclude him on that account.
 Whereupon the major waxed wroth.
 "Gentlemen." said he, I'm going to Cuba to shoot Spaniards. not to eat 'em.p
 The major went-Harner's Weekly.
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14
.'NaHs.s ?

Nails are a mighty good thing-par- ticu1arly finger nails-but 1 don't be lieye they were intended solely for scratching though l used mine largely fer that purpose for several years. was sofely afflicted and had it to Go. One application Of Hunts Cure. how ever. relieved my itch and less than one box cured me entirely"
 J. NJ WARD.
 Index, Texas.
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14
obltuariss Of Noted Men.

Interesting comparisons are sup piled by clipping bureau regarding the articles printed in the newspapers about the deaths of prominent men. No other man in America had so much printed about his death in the newspapers as Mckinley. Carl Schurz has received thus far 12,o90 obituary notices. mere than any other man since Mckinley John Hay and Jos eph Jefferson had lG000 each and Mark Hanna s.099.
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14

', l,ANTED- Men of integrity and energy to represent the Reliance Lie Insurance Company ol pitisbufg, fa.: no special contracts, or gold brick schemes; pure. legitimate insurance; first class, young. thrifty and wealthy company. with capital oi one million dollars; ex- eelltnt contracts to proper partles. Ad, dress A. l.. SMITH. state manager, lls Louisiana. Little Rock, Ark.
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14
Catarrh Cannot Be Cured

with LOG AL APPLICATIONS. as they cannot reach the of the disease Catarrh is beed eonsti- tutonal disease and in order to cure il you take internal remedies. Halls Catarrh Cure is taken in- ternally and acts directly on the blood and mucous surfaces Halls Catarrh Cure Is not quaek medi- cine. was prescribed Y of the best .hy sicans in this country fur years and h regular II is composed Of tie lest tonics known combined with the best bluOd purifiers acting directly the mucous surfaces. The perfect combination Of the ingredients ts hat produces puch wonderful re- suits iu curing catarIh. send ft testimonials free
 I. ]. CHENEY & GO.. Props, Toledo c. Soi hy Druegtsis. price 7ic.
 Take ualls Family Pills for const tipation.
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14

to be awful when the devil opens the door. Can't we go back?''
 NOW. see here. Billi" exclaimed Pete. you pretty near got me sos
 wouldn't dare pIck di'mond ring on the floor, an if some feller said Boo I'd bump my head on star. Id be lookin' to see red man with horns an tail if il wasn't for one thing
 Whats that?" asked Bill.
 There ain't no chance for wood floors down to his place"
 Bill took a knife from his pocket, cut a piece from one of the steps of the basement stairs, and gave deep sigh of relies
 Its real wood, Pete he said. Lets make another try at the first floor
 We're hayfn' the devil Of a time. Pete" complained Bill. .1 ain't feel in right about it yet. Mebbe we only
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14
Eneraetic Claridon Women.

That the women of East Clariden have fallen heir to the masculine en ergy which built the houses and farms around this neighborhood is shown by the fact that when you meet a team the women nearly always are driving. In this the women excel. and it is only an occasional farmers team which does not seem to be in posses sion of some womau.-Chicago Tr.b- une
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14
Kennel in a Hollow Tree.

A fox terrier and her two puppies live in the hollow trunk of a tree at the home of W. ]. Roland. in the south part of Englewood. says the Kansas City Star.
 The tree stands in the front yard It is an elm of great size and age The inside of the trunk al the ground Is hollow and a long arehed opening over which piece of old rug hangs to keep out the cold. The family oi dogs live comfortably in this home.
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14
Not ~Just as eoode-lt's the Best.

One box of Hunts Cure is unfailing- ly. unqualifedly and absolutely guar anteed to cure any form of SKIN DIS EASE. It is particularly active in promptly relieving and permanently curing all forms of ITCHING known.
 ECZEMA. TETTEli. RINGWORM and all similar troubles are relieved by enc application: cured by one box.
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14

laneuId. nervous and lame in the morning. Dosn's Kidney Pills helped me right away. and the great relief that followed has been permanent.
 Sold by all dealers. 50 cents a box. Foster-Milburn Co, Buffalo, N. Y.
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14
Monastery to Be Authors Home.

Maurice Maeterlinck. the Belgian author. has bought Wandrinne abbey the beautiful old monastery on the banks of the Seine between Rouen and Caudebec The building used tC be the home of 400 monks and though it is 1900 years old may be restored to a habitable condition.
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14
It's Dancerous.

To neglect cold the results are too often very serious. Bronchitis, Pleu- risy, Penumonia and Consumption are frequently the consequences. Upon the appearance of a cold. sore throat or chest. use Simmons Cough Syrup. It soothes the irritation. loosens the phlegm and promptly cures you.
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14
Jars May Settle in Canada.

NIT. Negatany. subject of the mi kado. is credited by rumor with a scheme for buying from the Canadian Pacific railway 50,000 acres of land in Alberta suitable for wheat and sugar beet culture and settling on the tract colony of industrious forehanded Iapanese farmers.
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14
It Cures While You Walk.

Aliens Foot Ease s certain cure for hot. sNveqting. callous and swollen. aching feet, Sold by all druggists Price 25e. Don't aeeeptany substitute. Trial package FR EE. Address Allen & Olmsted. Le Roy, \. Y.
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14
Money in Motor Manufacture.

About s60,000.0o0 is at present in- vested in England in The manufacture of motor wagons. About 25000o men are employed in them. or as chanf- feurs. etc. and their wages aggregate s15. .0eo. 900 2 year.
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14

Especially worthy of notice is Garfield Tea. Natures remedy for constipation. sick headache liver and kidney detange- menis. l. is made wholly Of Herbs.
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14

Satan is willing to let men go to church on Sunday if they work for him the remainder of the week
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14

Every time you register protest it saves lot of trouble for the easy going chaps who have occasion to fol low in your footsteps.
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14

The average man dislikes to give up his seat in crowded car 10 a wom- an because he is afraid she will think ke !s trying 10 firt with her.
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14

That IS LAXATIVE PROMO Quiuine. stmilArl, named remed.es sometimes deceive. The first and orig nal Cold Tabet IS a WHITE PACKAGE ~Ifh blacs and red ietetins. snu bears the signature of k. " GROVE Ee.
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14

mus anus teH ot cures made by Doan' s Kidney Pills. John C. Coleman. a promi- ent merchant of Swa n g D TO. Ga, gays: For several ears my kidneys were affected. and my back ached day and night. l was
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14

PUTNAM FADELESs DYES do not ,tain the hands or srot inc kettle, except green and purple. loe per naekare.
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14
Never Had Picture Taken.

Judge Charles T. Woodland lately appointed to the Maine supreme court, never had picture taken.
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14

IL is hard 10 form . correct opinion of others on what Is said about mem.
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14

Garfield Tea has been fan ous for years as remedy Tor constipation. livec ,nd kidney diSca>es. Guaranteed under ths Pure Food Law
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14

No man ever asks truthful woman what she thinks of him more than once
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14

Never judge any mans worth by his s.ze 4 silver dollar is mueh lar ger than sl0 gold piece.
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14
DOES yous BACK AcAei
Cure the Kidneys and the paln VIII
 Never Returo.

enis one sure way 10 eure an aching back. Cure the cause, the kidneys.
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14
pIIrsCuREnIAa.ro, .ro nA,

Fault finding eventually results Ia a disposition toward selishness
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14

Be fit for more than you ara now doing-Garfield.
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14

Itch cured in 30 minutes by Woolfogds Sanitary Lotion. Never fails. At druggists.
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14

To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.-Campbell.
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14

Mrs. Windows Soothing STrnp. For children tecthing, sofiens the gums reduces h. fsmnaton. alays pain, cures wind colic 25c bostls
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14

All thy virtue dictates, dare to do. Mason.
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14
Bill the Sneaks" Getaway
By Elliot Flower
~ar-~.t,--~vA--~var--~t--~-N

Copyright by Joseph B. EowiesJ
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14

PAZo olSrMkSF IS gnHrantted Io cure cas- of Itch ng. Hind. Beedtns proirudins F lC, Id tto l4 days or mOney refunded. 5ue.
The Monticellonian., 1907-03-14

dreamed it was wood, an it was asbes tos all the time"
 It amt hot, IS it?" demanded Pete Pm sweatin' pretty hard, replied
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1907-06-13
AN OLD EDITOR
Found $4,000 Worth of Food.

The editor of a paper out in Okla,
said: YES, it is true when l got hold
of Grape-Nuts food, it was worth
more than $4,000 doctor bill to me,
for 1t made me we'll man. I have
gained Is pounds in weight, my
strength has returned tenfold, my
brain power has been given back to
me, and that is an absolute essential,
for am an editor and have been for
IS years.
"My pen shall always be ready to
speak good word for this powerful
nutritive food. l had of course often
read the advertisements regarding
Grape-Nuts, but never thought to ap-
ply the food to my own use, until, in
my extremity and sickness the thought
came to me that it might fit my case.
The statements in regard to the food
are absolutely correct, as have proven
In my own case. One very fortunate
thing about the food Is that while it is
the most scientifically made and high.
~ nourishing, concentrated food have
ever known, it has 30 delicious taste
that it wins and holds friends. !"
there's Reason" Read "The Road
to Wellyille." in pkgs.
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1907-06-13
THE ESSENTIAL TO
FARM FERTILITY
BY HI. r.. Smith, of Nebraska
Experiment Station.

The maintenance of a high degree
Of soil fertility is a fundamental prin-
ciple in successful farming. Had this
been recognized years ago and meth
DDS practiced that build rather than
deplete, much of the native fertility of
our eastern soils would have been
conserved. Live stock in the state of
Ohio began to decline in number 80
years ago and with that decline there
occurred almost Immediately decline
in the average yield per acre of wheat
and other small grains. That state
now purchases annually 100000
worth Of commercial fertilizers. What
has been the experience of Ohio is
the experience of many other eastern
states where grain growing without
rotation with hay plants is now prac-
ticed.
The growing of such legumes as al
talfa. clover and COW peas, and the
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1907-06-13
ECZEMA COVERED BABY.
Worst Case Doctors Ever Saw-Suf.
fered Untold Misery-Perfect
Cure by Cuticura Remedies.

my son, who is now twenty-five
years of age, when four months old
began to have eczema on his face,
spreading quite rapidly until he was
nearly covered The eczema was some
thing terrible, and the doctors said it
was the worst case they ever saw. At
times his whole body and face were
covered, all but his feet. l used many
kinds of patent medicines, to no avail.
A friend leased me to try Cuticura.
At last l decided to try Cuticura when
my boy was three years and four
months old, having had eczema all that
time and suffering untold misery.
began to use all three of the Cuticura
Remedies. He vas better in two
months; in six months he was well.
Mrs. R. L. Risley, Piermont, N. H..
Oct. "a, 1905"
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1907-06-13
ARE MOMENTS OF ANXIETY.
Those Following Winning of Derby
and Reasons Why.

dbO nedSOHS why.
The anxiety of owners Of race
horses competing in the Derby do not
Immediately end as the horses pass
the judges. The fatal objection" may
snatch the laurels from the victor.
The possibility discovered itself over
Caractacus' race. The owner had
striven in vain to get jockey OF re-
pute.
His offer of a life annuity OF &100
a year to Gostley in case of success
had been declined. A stable boy
named Parsons had eventually to be
trusted and, to the surprise of the
learned, he got the horse home, VIM
ing by neck
Going to the scale, the lad could not
draw the weight. In breathless sill
ence the bride was sent for and that
Just enabled him to balance the scale.
But now Lord Stamford appeared to
object that only his own horse and
two others had gone the full course.
The winner and the rest were al
ready past the starting post when
the flag fell Admiral Rous looked at
his watch Twenty minutes he
said "An objection to hold good
must be lodged within quarter of an
hour"
And so the stable boys win passed
into the records, but the owner of
Caractacus declared that not for 81
600 moment would he again endure
the agony of that short period follow.
ing the race.
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1907-06-13

feeding of these crops with at least a
part of the grain grown, is our
surest preventive of soil improvement.
1t goes without saying that this can
only be accomplished by keeping the
stock on the farm. If by feeding farm
animals no more than elevator prices
are received for the crops grown there
is still abundant reason for the prac-
tice of such system of farming. Many
do not feed stock because they are
fearful that grain thus disposed of
will sell at sacrifice No doubt this
is true, if carelessness is displayed in
the feeding and management. With
the exercise of skill the opposite is
just as true.
Each year as the results Of expert
ments are compiled and the work OF
other stations reviewed new proof is
added to the fact that a careful sys-
TEN of feeding in which natures laws
are given recognition is capable of
producing to marked degree larger
and more profitable gains than indis-
criminate feeding. 1t has been proved
beyond doubt that the cost of pro-
ducing grains may be reduced from 20
to SO per cent. by properly compound
ing rations. Such evidence is forth
coming from all stations of the middle
west, where feeding questions have
been given most consideration. Should
farmer lose by disease one animal
out of every five he would feel much
unconcerned. The equivalent Of this
is happening on many farms to-day
through injudicious feeding.
If stock feeding is to be conducted
with profit there must be put into the
work a high order of intelligence.
How can it be otherwise? The feeder
is in constant touch with natures
laws, which must not be ignored. He
is dealing with wide range of foods,
differing essentially in physical char
acter, in composition and digestibility.
He is furthermore dealing with an an
imal mechanism infinitely more
complex in the arrangement of parts
and the performance of functions than
anything ever wrought by man. II
all foods and all classes of animals
were alike the problem would be a
simple one. If all foods consisted OF
the natural heritage, which at one
time grew uncultivated, animals would
get for themselves more nearly what
the system requires. But the arti.
| fetal propagation of numerous forms
of food (some kinds produce in greater
abundance than others) has made the
economical utilization of such foods a
complex science. Nor can profitable
stock feeding be looked upon as a
science merely. 1t is business, too
in the sense that one who is engaged
in the work is each year confronted
with change in prices on foods
which compels him to keep post
ed on market quotations in order
| TO to be able to select those
which go farthest for the money. Why
should not the stock farmer give just
as much study and preparation to his
business and profession as does the
lawyer, physician or engineer? AS our
population increases and land be
comes higher in price this is con
stantly becoming more imperative.
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1907-06-13
AFRAID OF PARALYSIS
A NERVOUS SUFFERER CURED
BY DR.. WILLIAMS PINK PILLS.
The Medicine That Makes Rich, Red
Blood and Performs Wonders as .
Tonic for the Nerves.

Why are nervous people invariably
pale people?
The answer to that question explains
why remedy that acts on the blood
can cure nervous troubles.
It explains why DR.. Williams: Pink
Pills for Pale People are also for nervous
people.
1t is because of the intimate relation
between the red corpuscles in the blood
and the health of the nerves. The
nervous system receives its nourishment
through the blood. Let the blood be-
come thin, weak and colorless and the
nerves are starved-the victim is started
on the road that leads to nervous wreck.
Nervous people are pale people-but the
TAILOR comes first. Enrich the blood
and the nerves are stimulated and toned
up to do their part of the work of the
body. DR.. Williams Pink Pills make
red blood and transform nervous, irrit-
able, alling people into strong, energetic,
forceful men and women.
Mrs. Harriet E. Porter, of 20 Liberty
avenue, South Medford, Mass, says:
~ had never been we'll from child
hood and a few years ago l began to
have dizzy spells. At such times could
not walk straight I was afraid of
paralysis and was on the verge of
nervous prostration. Then neuralgia
set in and affected the side of my face,
The pains in my forehead were excru-
ciating and my heart panied me so that
my doctor feared neuralgia of the heart.
I tried several different kinds of treat.
ment but they did me no good.
"One day my son brought me some OF
DR.. Williams Pink Pills and I found
that they strengthened my nerves.
took several boxes and felt better in
every way. There were no more dizzy
attacks, the neuralgia left me and have
been well " oman ever since''
DR.. Williams Pink Pills are invaluable
in anamia, rheumatism, after effects OF
the grip and fevers and in sick head.
aches, nervousness, neuralgia, and even
partial paralysis and locomotor ataxia.
Our booklet "Nervous Disorders, 8
Method of Home Treatment will be
sent free on request to anyone interested.
Write for it today.
DR.. Williams Pink Pills are sold by
hll druggists, or will be sent, postpaid
on receipt of price, SO cents per box, siz
boxes for $3.50, by the DR.. Williams
Medicine Company, Schenectady, N. Y