The Washington herald., 1907-11-17
WIFE VS.. THE AFFINITY
BACHELOR GIRL PREFERS LATTER ROLE


by HELEN ROWLAND.
'Au the love affairs nowadays" de-
clared the Bachelor Girl, daintiy lifting
a bit Of heathenish mixture on the point
of her ivory chopsticks, and steering It
with painful precision to her lips. ARE
three-cornered."
The Mere Man glanced up from his
chop suey in surprise.
what have you been reading?" he de-
manded, French novels?"
NO returned the Bachelor Girl.
promptly, the newspapers. They're
much more exciting They're simply
crammed with 'afiinities' and things
"With-what2"
Triangular love affairs" explained the
Bachelor Girl. land crisscross matri-
mOnial mixups and soul-mate situations"
Soul-mate situations? The Mere
Man set down his Oriental teacup and
gazed at the Bachelor Girl blankly.
Yes" she went on. calmly twisting "A
rice noodle round her sticks. the kind
that are worked out with three charac-
tiers; The man. the woman-and the
Other Woman. 1t all started with that
SociaIistic artist who divorced his wife
in order TO marry his affinity. It's quite
old-fashioned to be in love with only one
person at time nowadays. isn't it?"
and she turned TO the mirror beside her
and surreptitiously Strengthened her Dolly
Warden hat
''Humph" Erunted the Mere Man, dis
gustedly. at all started with Anthony
and Cleopatra and Helen of Troy and
King Solomon in my opinion. And the
only reason IL didn't begin with Adam
and Eve was because there wasn't any
other woman-nor any other man'-in
the Garden of Eden
But even Eve" remarked the Bachelor
Girl thoughtfully. found little distrac-
tion IN the serpent when her Irritation
with Adam began TO pail I wonder why
81 is. she unused with her chin tilted re-
nectively on one side. that We never
marry our affinltles."
Perhaps we do" suggested the Mere
Man with cheerful optimism. "and don't
know It, It's hard to see n s0ul-mate
Through a maze Of curl papers and
cloud of temper. and it's difficult 10
recognize your spiritual affinity in the
unprepossessing chap who is lathering
his face and swearing az his razor In
front OF your dressing table. The trouble
is that as soon rs you marry her an
affinity ceases to be an affinity and de-
velops into an ordinary wife
Yes" agreed the Bachelor Girl, "a
woman loses her spiritual charm when
you begin TO class her. in your mind. with
h-l sa1-
fast rolls ana the grocery bills. instead OF
with the music and lights Of the drawing
room The subtle beauty Of her frocks
and the enhancing poetry OF her figure
disappear the moment you have learned
to button her waist up the back. The
very smell of the perfume she uses has
no more illusions for you than the smell
of the steak at dinner or the oranges at
breakfast. when il has become a mere
part of the domestic regime and you have
discovered that it costs $29S an ounce.
The other woman and she poured her
self a cup Of tea with a depreCating little
shake of the head, certainly has the best
of the situation
"Of course agreed the Mere Man.
stabbing bit Of star fruit and study
ing il intently before eating it. 1.-THE
the wife is the morning after If we
could all leave our wives at the front
door after the ball or the theater and not
see them again until they had worn of
the morning headache and gotten the
house I'm running order and recurled their
pompadours they'd never lose their first
cnchantment. It's getting behind the do
nestle scenes and seeing the feminine
wheels go round that takes all the edge
off a mans illusions and all the color off
his romance Matrimony is the alarm
clock that wakes us up from loves young
dream and plunges us into the cold
shower bath of realities. You never catch
an affinity with almond paste on her
cheeks and a smudge on her nose and"
I've noticed" interrupted the Bachelor
Girl with sudden inspiration. that affini-
ties always have straight noses"
"What2'
And eighteen-lnch waists and curly
hair and a sweet smile, and about ten
years advantage of the wife in the mat
ter Of youth. It's a funny thing about a
soul mate, that she is always good
looking. Perhaps if Cleopatra had
weighed about fifty pounds more than
she did, Anthony wouldn't have found
her so spiritually cOngeuial; or If Helen
of Troy had had hump. Paris wouldn't
have gone to war about her. Soul COM
partnership depends "A whole lot on how a
woman does her hair, and whether her
clothes 1T or not, and what number shoes
she wears" and the Bachelor Girl gazed
demUrely into her teacup
Nonsense objected the Mere Man
virtuously. Looks haven't anything to
do with the attraction of the other
woman It's her distance. her position
on the other side Of the affair that lend
enchantment. The other woman is any
girl who happens to come along at the
moment when the wife has begun TO get
on her husbands nerves and the domes-
tic machinery Is becoming clogged, and
the honeymoon is over, and the novelty
has worn of and the romance has dis
appeared. She's the contrast in the pic
ture. the high light that relieves the
shadows of marital infelcity. She may
be a serpent or a fool, a beauty or
trump, but II she's tender and sympa-
thetic she's got all the advantages in
her hands"
But she hasn't any of the rights"
protested the Bachelor Girl.
NO" agreed the Mere Man. She
hasn't the right 20 complain. or nag. or
boss, or demand. She hasn't the right
10 ask why or when or where or
with whom. Her role of the delivering
angel is all cut out for her While the
wife is tightening the matrimonial moose
about her husband the affinity leaves
him free as air. While the wife is del
uging him with tears and reproaches
she is soothing him with smiles and sym
patty. And the more resentful and sus-
picious the wife becomes the more soul
ful and alluring becomes the affinity
Now. If they would only change places:
80 fIn rI-tfn rI-nrllH Lar.