davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1907-06-30
One Eye Conol1y's Experience

0NE EYE connolly came to this country
~ from England, and, accumulating the
reputation of an all round sporting man. rose to
the pinnacle of professional umpiring. Small
wonder that with only one good eye he was in
constant difficulty with players, and less that,
being Briton he failed to estimate the game S
democracy Of this he became enlightened
in Hoboken, where he eluded dire punish
ment by unseating the driver of a milk wagon,
selling the reins, and galloping to hotel. With
such speed as might be over course strewn
with milk cans, a mob pursued to the hotel
lobby, demanding that Conolly change GER
tain rank decision. Conolly, chuckling as he
dined alone in his room, thought it a joke
but the hours passed and the uproar out
side waxed ominous the joke" assumed seri-
and to him inexplicable proportions.
The man was out. blast 'em!" he kept re-
peating. "The man out!"
Well, they don't think so, an if you want
to reach New York Tonight advised the
landlord grirnly, you'd best think the same
way
When ten-thirty o'clock arrived, with Ho-
boken just properly aroused, One Eye Conolly
succumbed to the might of the people. He
raised a window waited for moment of
silence and to the vast satisfaction of every
one including himself, announced:
The umpire reverses his decision. The
man was safe on second base
What name, now, shall be put to the extreme,
fatuous ardor of Hoboken's populace; what
" Illdt TWO III a
mad dance from the Polo Grounds grand
stand clear to Eighth-ave.. good three
blocks' One of these divines was short and
fat, the other tall and lean. Each came from
a distant town, neither knew of the Giants
except by hearsay, had no local pride, never
used to play" the separate heaths of both
appeared to be exuberant; and yet they
waltzed for three blocks, pounding each other
and tearing the welkin in shreds.
1t must be a big motive that, year after
year, gathers so many millions to professional
pastime where the patron is only locker on,
where betting is almost unknown. 1t must
be soul stirring impulse that causes such
amazing outbursts from law abiding folks who
nowhere else run riot. 1t must be-yes. it is
that in baseball we have the supreme ex-
ponent of a nations democracy, the eman-
cipator from conventonaity, the only forum
where an American citizen feels free, speaking
literally and metaphysically, to take off his
coat and cut loose.
Evening star., 1907-06-30
An Enthusiastic Fan

T Asst year in a game between Giants and
- Cubs fourteen thousand fans lifted up their
voices one cheering for Arthur Devlin when
he had chance to win the game by making
a wonderful sprint from third base home.
Devlin came on, head first, sliding distance
of fifteen feet. On account of the dust kicked
up, it was impossible for spectators to give
accurate decision but the runner looked
safe that the disappointed fans swarmed
into the diamond and swept Umpire John
stone off his feet when he called Devlin out.
At the moment of his rescue by the police
water soaked cushion shot through the air
and, catching Johnstone on the nose, knocked
him down. A detective spied the man who
hurled the cushion and arrested him. Ar
raigned in police court. surrounded by admir-
ing friends, he paid his fine with positive
gloating. Got the worth of my money, all
rght'' he exclaimed. Couldn't a spent
tenspot any better way"
The soul of generosity, brave and unre-
vengeful, it is rare that umpire prosecutes
in cases of this sort. He knows that the pub
lie spleen must be vented in some way or
other. and is willing to be a martyr. Think
of the stunning audacity, the unflinching
nerve, of Tim Hurst at an opening game
several years ago. when he was umpiring along
with younger man whose cheek paled and
limbs trembled at the first voey of missiles!
The showers of pop bottles were reported even
Evening star., 1907-06-30

pear like the other fellows in next DAYS
match game is revived in watching profess
sional contest. No such devotion is elected
by the race track or the prize ring. 1t is
exclusive to baseball, and might account
wholly for the diamond lure were we to dis
regard the man with spectacles.
Who is he, Why, the most infammable,
dangerous ball crank in captivity-that S who.
Defective eyesght prevented him from taking
part even in a game of one old cat, but it does
not prevent him from knowing the batting
average of every player in the big leagues,
his age, year of initiation into fast company,
and whether he originally a pitcher or
first baseman. What does he care for the raw
ings of the fan in front who had "a dozen
offers to join the National League? He can
tell in twlnking who made the greatest num-
Der of home runs last season, and he knows the
book of rules by heart. Reinforced by the
cripple the boy who had to work, the lad whose
folks would not let him run in the street, and
the one who took no interest in baseball until
he grew up, the spectacled chap heads very
considerable host, none of whom used to
play" What do you suppose urges these fans
to patronize baseball-its uncertainty its hon
esty, hero worship. search for health, the
setting and atmosphere, love of combat, or
Stop, gentle reader! Looki Listen! Is it
possible that we have been clipping the target
everywhere but in the bulls eye,-have been
making mountain of a mole hill, that during
all our exhaustive analysis of the diamonds
lure we have overlooked the one salient, basic,
universal solution in the person of the-The
umpire?
BY the attention lavished upon him, by the
number of venerable eggs hurled at him,
by the roustlngs. mobbings, and bruisings of
which he is a daily victim must we not con-
clude that the man who holds the Indicator
is the real lodestone? Is there another element
in baseball that so electrihes the multitude as
a rank decision of the umpree Can the per-
formance of any player or team, however
iluStrlOuS, lncite the lame to walk the blind
to see, and the dumb to regain their voice. A
national target, riddled by every fan who
wants to get something off his chest, the UNI
pire is undoubtedly our greatest public bene-
factor, worthy of a congressional pension; for
it is a scientific truth that the heaving of two
or three pop bottles rehabilitates fans body
and soul-puts him in good humor for a
month.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-08-09
MOROCCO

SIDE from the brutal murder of
N DR.. Mauchamp by frenzied Moroc
Ia cans, which overt act is the basis
of pending French occupation of terri
tory in that country, the whole subject
may be regarded as a game of diplo-
matte chess between the French and
German nations, each playing to check
mate the other in the matter of terri
torial acquisition.
A west coast seaport would be
decided advantage to either nation, and
the pretense Of Furnishing the murder
ers has given that prize to France.
The questio- of occupancy and it's
duration now be threshed out in
Berlin anu Paris without any regard
for the people concerned, and when that
shall have been done the world may
see a repetition Of the English occupa-
tion Of Egypt and the Japanese assimi-
lation of Korea. The great financial
possibilities in the occupation of Mo-
roccan territory, with a deep-water
outlet are great, and the immense
budgets and debts of either the French
or German nation would be materially
helped through them, not counting any
thing for the prestige gained by the
victor in the game between these peo-
pies who hate each other so cordially.
The emperor of Korea and the khedive
of Egypt were dangerous anachronisms
in the affairs of the world, and no re-
grets from thinking men will follow
them into exile; and no matter whether
Frank or Teuton shall succeed in hold
ing the coveted territory, the world
will be the gamer through the intro
duction of civilized and civilizing
methods
Los Angeles herald., 1907-08-09
BOYS PLAY FAR ABOVE
AMAZED PEDESTRIANS
SinqIe Msstep Would Have Meant a
Fall Of Senenteen Stories to
Certain Death on AS
phaIt Pavement
Special to The Herald.

Special to The Herald
NEW YORK, Aug. S.-Ever since that
big commercial trust, the Dutch west
India company, some three hundred years
ago opened an office for the transaction
of the fur business with the Manhattan
Indians down near the site of the stan
dard Oil building the office boy of this
island has been notorious for audacity,
freedom from restraint and carelessness
of the safety of himself and those who
come in contact with him. 1t is doubt
full. however if any of them ever ecllpseu
the aerial agility displayed yesterday by
some of the boys of the st. Paul building
at Broadway and Ann street.
Every two stories the tall, irregular
building is belted by narrow cornlce.
It was about the hour for most people
in offices to grow sleepy and tired, when
a boy slipped out of a seventeenth-story
window to the corniee and, with arms
stretched out, sidestepped rapidly along
the narrow ledge to the next wlndoW.
Before he had reached 1t another BOY
had followed him to the cornice ana
sidled rapidly along in an evident en-
deavor to overtake him. Then, for ten
minutes, there was the most amazing
and exciting game of tag that was ever
seen on Broadway.
Seventeen stories below the crowds
stood gaping with wonder, watching the
agile players. Significantly passersby
turned out and gave that section OF the
building where the play was going on a
wide BERTH leaving the sidewalk almost
unoccupied lest they pe Struck NY d
| falling boy.
In and out of the windows the boys
scurried, at one point turning sharp
corner which took them, apparently, INTO
another room AS the chase grew hotter
the pace was increased.
"Well, never saw an office boy move
so fast as that on solid ground" ejaculat-
ed one onlooker
After this performance had gone on Tor
what seemed to the watchers long time,
but in reality was only few minutes,
and when there seemed to be danger OF
block on Broadway, some one teie-
phoned to the superintendent of the
building, notifying him hundreds of lives
were being put in jeopardy by the game
and that for the well being of the public
IL not of the boys, 1t was time to call
halt. The superintendent acted at once
and the finest free exhibition since Bryan
rode UP Broadway came to an end.
Later one of the elevator men had this
to say:
"The office boys in this building beat
any I ever see anyhow. ou can't keeE
'em off the roof. We lock the door, bu1
they pick the lock every time. Last sum;
mer they took it into their heads to rfde
on the roofs of the elevators. Every time
a man started up his car, after 1t hao
been idle, he was apt to find anywhere
from one to three kids on top of it, drop
ping beans and paper wads onto the hats
of the passengers.
"When we got onto their game 1t wat
easy to stop it, of course. But they're
tough as leather and you can't scare
them. I don't believe it would scare then
much to drop seventeen stories"
Los Angeles herald., 1907-08-09
WILLIAM ]. BRYAN

"T ITH a, remarkable persistency the
w Republican press has bounded
William Jennings Bryan for ten
years past, and today he is the best
known and most highly respected man
in the radius Of the political limelight;
and this. too, without any regard to
his chances for a presidential nomina-
tion.
From the great daily to the cross
roads ''vox populi' they have torn open
his public and private sayings, doings
comings and goings, ever ready to cast
a partisan slur or to give, for shame's
sake, the faint praise that damns, and
through it all this grand American citi-
zen has borne himself blameless, sunny
in disposition, able and timely in rebuke
of political wrongs, considerate toward
enemies and absolutely faithful to
friends.
1t is not claimed that Mr.. Bryan is,
or has been, right in all he has ad-
vanced, nor that he is infallible in
political judgment, but it is claimed
that under the long and most searching
no loss in characterF public or private,
and that he stands today the embodi-
ment of noble manhood and high citi-
zenship, holding out to the rising gen.
Grafton a telling example of the power
and influence of good character in pub
lice men.
In his travels in foreign lands he met
fI,a ioh n
of all nations, and drew from them such
courtesies as are awarded only to noble
and blameless lives, and even where
his political methods and purposes
were foreign to the people, he received
the homage all good men pay to char
acter and high achievement.
Caricaturists with pencil and type,
welded under the bitter animus of par
tisan feeling, to an extent uncommon
even in America, have done their best
to belittle his personality and acts,
with the result that today the object
of it all stands four square to the
whole world, an honest and honored
man.
What a helpful lesson in public life
such a career teaches! From hum
BILE beginning this manly man drew a
knowledge of men and measures that
has challenged the warm regard even
of his political enemies, and their
studied and persistent abuse but serve
to accentuate that fact in the minds OF
all good men.
Our admiration for the man is wholly
apart from political bias, having moi
the remotest regard to future politica
possibilities for him, and is founded
on our principle of giving credit where
credit is due.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-08-09
COLUMBIA VERDICT

IN VIDENCE is all in in the case of
II the Columbia disaster, and the
measure of punishment for dere-
lict officials is in the hands of Captain
Birmingham, subject to approval by
the department.
That there were criminal negligence
and astonishing incapacity shown is
clearly proved, and that severe punish
ment will follow is foregone conclu-
sion; but while a distressed people look
to see merited punishment given to
offending officers, they also look, and
eagerly, too, to see some measure OF
punishment and some means of remedy
exacted from the owners.
1t Is a safe charge that there is not
ship in the coastwise passenger serv-
ice, from San Diego to ST. Michaels,
the bulkheads in which can be closed
from above decks and that by far the
greater part of them have no bulk
heads, or any other help, to keep a
stricken ship afloat. 1t is common to
close the freight ports on these ves-
on the water line, and then to pile
freight on the hurricane deck till no
more can find room. If there is bulk
head closing apparatus, it cannot be
reached because of the hurried storing
of freight which blocks it, and the GRIM
inal chances thus taken by the man
agement are responsible for the dis
asters so common on this coast.
A professional survey of the ships
now plying in coastwise trade with pas
licenses must show to Captain
Bermingham-and he is the official
judge Of their seaworthiness-that most
of them, while they meet the perfume
tory demands for official safety, are not
and would not be permitted
to run on the Atlantic seaboard. Tho
erroneous popular idea that storms are
on this coast is known to be
untrue to Captain Birmingham, and no
man knows better than he that cross
ing the Columbia river bar and round
ing Cape Flattery are just as trying to
steamships as passing Hatteras or
Sandy Hook are to ships on
the Atlantic.
1t has been the policy of owners on
this coast to scour the Atlantic coast
and great lakes for craft discarded
there and bring them here for service;
till we have an aggregate of monde
scripts such as no other people would
patronize.
Incompetent and guilty officers should
be punished tits true, but there is a
crying need for the condemnation of
most of the floating collins now in the
coastwise passenger trade on this coast,
and it is up to Captain Birmingham
and his bureau to hear and heed it.
The negligence and incompetency Of
officers were bad, but the unseaworthi-
ness of the ship for passenger traffic
was worse, and can and must be reme-
died in other ships or worse results
may come any day.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-08-09
INSANE RELIGIONS

A PARAGRAPH which reads: "Con-
N gress shall make no law prohibit
IA ing the exercise of any religious
belief within the boundaries of the
United States" in our federal constitu-
tion is the corner stone on which is
builded the variable and dissonant
religious life of the nation, and because
of it men are at liberty to worship
God in any form they choose. Among
a people sprung from a complex ma
tionality this liberty has often been
turned into license in the form of fam
tastic and sacrilegious antics, offensive
to most people; and no legal limit can
be placed upon such doings till they
are found to be a breach of the peace
or other infraction of the law. So jeal-
Gus are religious people of their rights
in the premises, they hesitate to COM
plain of those who resort to questiona-
BILE methods, and the result is the large
centers of population catch the peripa-
tetic evangelist who uses violent and
hurtful measures in his work and seeks
to justify them by the provisions of
the common law.
The present season has witnessed in
several localities on this coast various
services, called Christian, which out
ragged all views held by good men every
where, and only when these services
passed the limits of decency and morals
could they be stopped. Men and wo-
men will take sides with any sort of a
preacher whose views please them, and
following is never wanting. The SYM
pathies, rather than the heart, are
attacked, and hidden mental weak
nesses exposed, till the votaries of these
questionable cults act more like insane
people than anything else. Blasphem-
GUS claims and shocking statements are
made and under some occult power
writhing, jumping, rolling on the floor
and jabbering in unintelligible jargon
are common. Superior sanctity is
claimed, and all other sects unspar-
ingly denounced.
| In Connecticut yesterday, and in
Seattle recently, the outraged people
broke in on such services and took the
| law lIlIO IHtlI IldnQS. IlilS WOuiNl ell 3 bC
the need of an unwritten law on relig-
ious lines, and maybe such law is the
solution of the. difficulty. 1t is certain
that sane and religious people will not
tolerate such insane and irreligious
acts, and it is equally certain that law
abiding people who do not affect a
religious life will condemn them.
The moral power of the community
should be exercised against them, and
If this fails, the law should be invoked
to arrest them as disturbers of the pub
lie peace. Holy Rollers, Casters Out of
Devils, Shouting Dervishes and an of
that ilk should be discouraged and
checked, to the end that insanity and
other evils may not thrive.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-08-09

isolated. But that would be a great ex-
pense to the country for a time.
"If mothers would be willing to have
their children quietly put to sleep forever
when they are very young and show
signs of deformity or degeneracy the
world would be better. OF course, that
could not be unless the women could be
educated up to the fact that it would
be the kindest way to end life which
will be of no use to itself or anyone else.
''If 1, myself, had little child born
and it was deformed or showed that it
would be mentally weak then would be
willing that it should be put to death
with no suffering, and it would be the
prudent thing to do because it would save
it from untold suffering later
This may seem harsh, but 1t really
isn't. If you had seen, as l have, these
little creatures that grow but the more
horrible as they grow older-these men
and women that are living in such
way as to produce these specimens-if
you had seen the real suffering and the
real horror of it, you would understand.
Prune the Race
EVERY growing thing needs pruning,
and the human race Is sadly in need of
it now. There are thousands of men and
women in the world who are unfit to
marry. Not from any fault of their own
very often, but because they have in
herited mental or physical disease from
their parents or grandparents. This state
of things grows worse every year.
81 believe that this will do away with
almost all of the evil in the world, in
cluding stealing, murder and divorce. All
criminal instincts could be obliterated
with the right forbears, and in a few
generations our men and women would
have had the right forbears. If men and
women were properly mated, as they
would be with the help of this board of
overseers, 1 believe that the divorce
question would be reduced to a mini
num-
Los Angeles herald., 1907-08-09
FUNNYGRAPHS

George-Auntie, what does irony mean?
Auntie-It means to say one thing and mean
the opposite, like calling rainy day fine
Gay.
Georgie-I think 1 understand you, auntie.
Wouldn't this be irony: "Auntie, don't want
a nice big piece Of cake?"-Philadelphia Rec
o-d.
You're so vain, Maria" he said. that
believe If you were going visiting in heaven
you would ask the angels If your wings were
on straight"
Yes, dear" was the reply. land I'd be
sorry because you could never get there to
see. e."-Atlanta Constitution.
What do you think of the party platform
that propose?" asked the ambitious young
statesman.
IT'S like most platforms that have seen
lctely," answered Senator Sorghum; pretty
good literature, but not much for politics.
Washington Star.
Owner of Motor Car Ito chauffeur)-Have
you a recommendation from your last en-
ployer2
Chauffeur-No sir; but can get one in the
course of a month or so,
Owner of Motor Car-Why the delay?
Chauffeur-Hes in the hospital-Tit-B Bits.
Redd, stopping the twenty-third time for re-
pairs-It funny about that gasoline.
only filled that tank yesterday.
Green-Well, 1t goes fast, you know.
''Yes. it seems to go a hanged sight faster
than the machine. ."-Yonkers Statesman.
!.
Mrs. De Hitt-The Dobsons at last have
girl they hope to keep
Mrs. De Witt-Absurd! Where is such
girl to be found?
Mrs De Hitt-She was born to them yester-
day.-Harper's Weekly.
-
Miss Bud, am thinking of marrying into
your family"
How original you are! But have no papa
whom you may ask.
mo; so I have asked your mamma, and we
are to be married next month. "-Houston Post.
\
The child had just been told that its father
had gone TO find a skin to wrap the baby
Bunting in.
Mature fake!" exclaimed the intelligent
infant
Herewith another lullaby busted-New York
Sun.
IT admit have the fault you mention" said
the conceited man, self-complacently, but it's
the only fault I have. and it's small one"
Yes" replied Knox, Just like the small
hole that makes plugged nickel no good. -
Philadelphia Press.
Wiggles-I hear Bjenks has been very ILL., Is
he out of danger yet?
Waggles-Well, he's convalescent; but he
won't be out of danger until the pretty nurse
who has been taking care Of him has gone
away.-Philadelphia INQUIRER
'Is high forehead a sign Of intelligence,
par
"It's supposed TO be, but only foolish people
believe in signs. s."-Chicago Record Herald
Tommy-Pa, what is a hypochondriac?
Pa-Tommy, how often have l told you not
to use bad words7-somerville Journal.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-08-09

A Kentucky editor lay down. unwit-
tingly, with a corpse, and when he
found it out made such a picturesque,
rapid and fearfully eloquent resurrec-
tion from the dead as would BATTLE the
best biblical commentator in the busi-
ness. No graves were opened, 1t is
true, but his language was equal to
such a task.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-08-09

If there is anything Los Angeles
needs to fill her cup of content, 1t is
some scores of Homer Hamlins, with
all the pluck, push, intelligence and
resourcefulness of the original; not to
mention his social good qualities. And
The Herald charges nothing for this
little bouquet--it will look better on
his desk than on his coffin.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-08-09

A Persian financier who engineered
a corner in wheat has been killed by
the starving peasantry, which goes to
show that occidental civilization has
it's drawbacks after all.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-08-09

The defensive alliance formed by the
Standard Oil company and the rail-
roads accused of giving rebates to the
octopus strengthens opinion that thieves
usually band themselves together to
defy the law.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-08-09

The Erie railroad officials have built
a locomotive weighing LOG tons, to haul
a train a mile and half long. When
a rail breaks under this weight and
kills people public Indignation will
weigh 1O6,o0O,OOO tons; but that is all
the good it will do. Dividends call for
eighty-pound rails, but say nothing on
the weights of rolling stock.