The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1907-04-16
SHERLOCK HOLMES
ON POLICE FORCE
Police Officer Staines Demon
strates His Right to En-
yiable Title.
INVENTS MAN-TRAP WHICH
PARALYZES THE WORLD
And Nails a Flossy Greek With
Half a Carload of Apple
Butter.

Police Officer Staines. in addition TO
being n high-class public official, is AN
expert on man.traps and apple butter.
Before leaving his native heath IN tne
swamps of southern Illinois to take MS
chances IN the wild and woolly west,
he had become n past t-master In the art
of snaring the 'posum and tho coon
and was no slouch in putting up all
kinds of canned goods for homo con"
sumption. Not only did he know how
to make captive the deuizen of the tor-
est and acquire In his own right the
product of The cider mill and the ket-
tie, but he learned how TO protect Dis
property rights against any and all In
vaders. He hasn't forgotten either.
Last fall Staines, during of hours,
Of canned peaches and apple butter
He was stuck on the stuff and took spe-
cial pride in doling 1t out to his friends,
when any extra occasion demanded
something little out of the ordinary.
Several weeks ago the officer noticed
n rapid and unexplainable dlmlnution
of his apple butter supply. He couldn t
understand it, He consulted with his
wife and found her equally at sea, He
his precious apple butter was gong.
Day by day the shelves IN the cellar
were being relieved Of their burden,
aDd day by day Staines was being re-
duced 10 a nero shadow of his former
self People began 10 advise him to
take cod.liver oil and wear chest pro-
tector All the bloom and buoyancy
departed from his life. He became
pessimist,
Strikes Clue.
II the haplcss sieuth hadn't got into
the habit of hanging his head. he prob
ably would never have discovered u
strange human track which had been
imprinted upon the fair bosom of his
onion bed. He knew at n glance that
a No II hrogan had made that track,
and, reasoning that there WASH t a foot
Of that size in his own family, he con.
cluded that n prowlng member Of
somebody else s family had been IN
vading his premises, Next day he
found other tracks of the same size and
shape. and then others, and others. All
these led to and from the cellar where
the apple butter was stored and
Staines was on.
Friday night Mr.. Staines completed
perhaps the most wonderful invention
that has ever been devised by man. II
was, as thing complete, a wonderful
combination of straps and strings ~
wires and ropes and buckles and screws
and weights and burglar alarms. The
thing was so adjusted that, when set
of by contact with the unsuspecting
feet Of the apple butter thief, as he
crossed the onion bed, a half brick.
suspended as a weight over the officer S
bed. would drop a distance of three
feet, strike an old elght.day clock bell,
fastened against the bed head and wake
the household. With everything In
first class working order. Staines tuck
ed himself into bed last night and
waited.
Internal Machine Busy.
About 10 p. M, as the man-trapper
was, in his dreams, responding eloquent
Is to the address of the Mayor appoint
ing him Chief of Police, something
dropped. 1t was the brick. In its
descent il caromed on the bell and
smote the dreamer IN the right eye. He
was up in an instant and, scorning the
bump he had received, dashed madly,
Of the copyreader will stand for it),
out Of the room and through the back
door, arriving at the onion bed Just in
the nick of time TO collide with hulk y
individual. loaded TO the guards with
apple butter and canned peaches. There
are more tracks on the onion bed now
than there were before. And Tom
Reras. a Greek, is in the city Jail
charged with burglarlzlng the cellar of
the residenc of Police Officer Charles
f.. Staincs Incidentally, there S about
barrel of apple butter and canned
peaches at police headquarters, to be
mood as evidence against him