The Washington times., 1907-12-30

Everything comes 10 him who waits.
TO appreciate this just wait at the new
Union station. You get all that's coming
10 you there-grip. pneumonia, chill
blains, c7rns, cold feet, back ache, that
tired feeling" heat under the collar, brain
storm, Dementia Americana, and infor-
nation as 10 how much later the late
train will really arrive.
Dun and Bradstreet both report that
the holiday trade was very heavy the
last few days before Christmas" When
did all these Early Holiday Shopping
Clubs do their buying. anyway?
Charles 7. Blaney. one Of the Ma
poleons Of melodrama, says stage vii
lains are deteriorating. Few Of them
win the Kisses of the audience. What
you want 70 do, Mr.. Blaney. is to put
on a few heavy trust officials and then
look out for a riot
Senator Davis was really conservative.
He put only two OF his children IN
Office. He has eight.
It is understood that the governors
Of Missouri and Mississippi have. as
peace commissioners. signed a protocol
good for the rest OF the session. This
is very disappointing 10 the lovers OF
the manly art
Mr.. Wallace Of Arkansas Is said 10
be putting in the time OF the holiday
recess in preparing speeches on the in
land waterways. forestry, and the Ap-
TpafarhfarN u
pear in serial form in the Record. He
has decided it a waste Of ammunition TO
publish all in one number.
There IS talk Of a tunnel from the
Capitol to the White House. Il would
be a GOd-send TO some Senators and
Representatives whose names we abso-
lutely refuse 70 disclose.
Judging from the pictures Of Senator
Scott, as they appear IN the West Vir-
ginia papers, he Is handsome young
man, not over thirty-five. mildness and
benevOlence beaming in every lineanent.
Can't fl be that the Senator has any
idea of coming out as a "Favorite Son?'
There IS q woman in Richmond whose
hair is so rel that every time she passes
2 fire-engine house the gong sounds.
Governor Wilson, Of Kentucky, is a
song-bird Of some reputation. ANY man
who can be elected governor o. that
State on the Republican ticket IS neces-
sarily bird of some sort
A Kentucky editor has been made
labor inspector. What does a Kentucky
editor know abQnt labor? Now, II it
was mint inspector. feud supervisor, or
hOrse-race superintendent But labor
inspectorl It is almost an insult.
Newark, N. J., has barred the Neither
sole kiss from the bilIboards as i'm
moral. The actress expects to play to
s. R. o. in that town hereafter.
San Francisco has a butcher who mar
ried his sisters daughter. This makes
him the son of his sister, the uncle Of
his wife, and the uncle Of himself. II
these mix-ups keep on some man will
finally become his own husband and
his own mother-in-law at the same time
It costs SCI to be arraigned In police
court in Cincinnati. Law-breakers who
have Cincinnati on their route need not
be deferred on that account, however.
The city pays.
If Governor Sparks calls out the whole
population, Nevada ought to be able
TO scare UP quite a squad Of militia
China seems to be getting ready to
have a douma of its own.
DEGREES OF SANCTITY.
Three spirits stood at heavens gate
To clear themselves Of sin,
And each one set good reasons forth
Why he should be let IN.
The first declared. Upon the earth
1 was a millionaire;
The benefactiOns which I gave
Were great beyond compare"
The second said, with pioUs sigh,
$50 upright did / live,
When I had paid my honest debts