The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1907-03-30
SOME AFTER DINNER STORIES.

Real. Admiral F. w. Dickins tells
of very rich and very economical
fancier who was making preparations
for Christmas ball some years ago
and at his wine merchants discovered
a cheap brand of champagne.
"This,' he said, ''is good brand of
champagne. 1t is quite good enough
for those young people who will come
to my Christmas ball. They couldn't
tell the difference, anyway" Ac-
cordingly he ordered dozen cases OF
the cheap wine. A day or two be-
fore Christmas, picking up his news
paper, he noticed that the wine mer-
chant had half-page advertisement.
He ran his eye over it and saw IN
big black letters the paragraph
'Try our celebrated champagne at
$I.25 a quart, as ordered by the emi-
nent fnancier, Gobsa Gold, Esq, for
his forthcoming Christmas ball.
Some time ago the Rev. Henry n.
Couden, the blind chaplain of the
House, expressed, in the presence of
Speaker Cannon, a desire to be chap
lain of the Senate. "Uncle Joe's ire
began to rise. "What do you want
to go over there for?' he asked,
sharply. "Don't you realize that
while the House is a flower garden,
the Senate is a graveyard p II
know" replied the chaplain, in his
gentle voice, "but our stay is longer
in graveyard than in flower
garden !'
When P. T. Barnum was at the
head of his ''great moral show" it
was his rule to send complimentary
tickets to clergymen, and the custom
is continued to this day. Not long
ago, after the Rev. DR.. Walker sue
ceeded to the pastorate of the Rev.
DR.. Hawks, in Hartford, there came
to the parsonage, addressed to DR..
Hawks, tickets for the circus, with
the compliments of the famous show
man. DR.. Walker studied the tickets
for a moment and then remarked :
CDR. Hawks is dead and Mr.. Barnum
is dead evidently they. haven't
met"
President Roosevelt likes to leave
the White House at times and make
informal calls on his friends. One
night last winter he strolled up to
Attorney General Moody's house and
rang the bell. The negro butler
came to the door. He peered out
suspiciously and asked What
you-all want 7" "I should like to
see Mr.. Moody" "Mr. Moody amt
in to nobody" "Oh, 1 guess he
will see me. Tell him the President
is here" "The President 2" said the
butler suspiciously." The butler
pulled the door almost shut. He
looked at Mr.. Roosevelt's slouch hat
with disdainful eye and inquired,
scornfully: President of what ?"
In a little out-of- the-way street in
Boston is a small drug store, the pro-
prietor of which is peppery little
old Irishman, and most of his custo-
mers are fellow countrymen. Not
long ago one appeared and desired to
purchase ten cents worth of sulphur.
The druggist weighed out the proper
amount and was about to wrap it up
when the would-be purchaser inter-
rupted "Sure, an is that all l get
for ten cents?" ''Faith, it is bar
rel veil be expectingl" the druggist
retorted. "It is not, but / know
place where 1 can get more than that
for foive cents" the other asserted.
"Ye do?" the little old fellow ex-
claimed, dashing the chemical back
into the box. "An' l know a place
where yell get lot more than thot
for nothing at all !"
Two officers were sent to arrest
Quaker. His wife met them at the
door and said +: "Walk in, gentle
men, my husband will see thee"
After waiting some time they got
impatient and called the woman, say
ing:
7'You said we should see your hus-
band presently"
"No, FRIEND" she replied, "I said
he would see thee-he did see thee,
did not like thy looks, and went out
NV the hack door,