Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-06-13
CHIEF CHEMIST WILEY
WILL EXPOSE THE PIE

long and detailed scientific brief which
decisions indicating what proportion
Of 1t might be used in various food
products.
Now it falls out that instead Of
long and laborious tratise, DR.. W1ley's
conclusions about benzoate Of soda
have been summarized into a brief
and succinct statement of two or three
paragraphs. Why this startling change
of plan?
Denaturlzed Pie, or None at All.
Because, declare the downcast de-
voices who even in its days of decad-
ence are yet loyal to pie, the con-
illusions are broadly adverse to the
stuff, and Its use is to be entirely and
altogether forbidden. Denaturized pie
must be served hereafter, or none at
all And 1t is known to every anti
quarian that the art of making pris-
tine pie is as hopelessly, lost as the
process that gave the world the
Damascus blade.
DR.. Wiley's ukase must first be
submitted to the pure food board Of
the department Of agriculture for ap-
prevail. This Is formality that will
be attended to in few days. Then
Secretary Wilson will approve of it,
and 1t will go to Secretary Of the
Treasury Cortelyou and Secretary Of
Commerce and Labor Straus for their
concurrence before being promulgated.
This is the routine though which all
like decisions pass.
Cortelyou Pie Devotee.
Proponents Of pie have hope that
Secretary Cortelyou may stay the
hand Of Wiley. It Is well known that
each day at lunch time Secretary Cor.
telyou goes across the street from his
office in the treasury building and de.
YOURS a segement Of the mince-so
times two segments. He is devoted to
pie with a consuming devotion. and a
pure-minded, high-thinking statesman
was never done greater injustice than
the secretary when it was reported by
sordid persons that his penchant for
the mince was an affectation design
ed to capture the New England vote.
Secretary Cortelyou is a man Of ideals
far above such subterfuge, and be-
sides he honestly likes the pie.
But even should he stick out against
the anti-pie TRADE, the situation is
considered hopeless. Secretary VIII.
son is sturdy Scotchman who was
raised on oatmeal, and still clings g
early ideas of plain living and high
thinking. Moreover, since the scien.
lists of his department unaccountably
failed in their efforts to cross an apple
tree with a bread-fruit plant and pro
duce pie-tree, he has been violently
preJudiced against pie, regarding 1t as
an unnatural and dangerous product
Secretary Strauss is not much on pie
preferring ham sandwiches for his
lunch; and therefore the feeling tina,
the tribunal is bad for pies cause.
Bonaparte May Decide Pies Fate,
1t is pointed out, however-as tho
correspondents say when writing
story about what they think ought t,
be the facts-that President Roosevelt
may refer the matter to the attorney
general, as he did the classification
and definition Of WHISTLES. Mr.. Bona
parte in that case demonstrated 4
splendid grasp Of whisky, It's nomen
clature and its history. People who
suspect him of imperial ambitions be
lieve he might make a Napoleonie
stroke by becoming in this crisis the
champion Of pie, and ruling that DR.
Wiley is unconstitutional Beyond
that is the President, who could clinch
his sinch on the third term that he
doesn't want by timely decision IN
favor OF the greatest institution of gas
trio America.
! J. 9. welliver.