The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-05-18

your good judgment and excellent T,
knowledge of human uatur', said
Jedge Pinkeye. You never spent a
1925 to a better purpose in your life.
You will be surprised when you see
the returns from Black Snake town
Ship
/" You're bound to be- sed he.
"In about leven minutes after the
ledge went out great big feller,
about seven feet around the waist
band like you, Gineral Taft. with
face the color of parbiled beef's
liver and nose like the forequarters
Of lobster. comes inter the head
quarters and yells out:
=" 'Whoopee I'm Kurnel Bigelow
Blathers, the only original and gen.
ewine Republican leader in Black
Snake township, Adams county.
One of the others went out Jest
afore you came in sed I.
Which one? said he.
ledge Pinkeye.'
We'll, I'll be goldarned. The
jedge was her, was he?'
He was, fur fack.'
Did he git your
Cit me fur whatt'
4 gave him S125 to hx things
up down in Black Snake. give
captain Bilkins $1OO by mistake. and
then give the jedge 1925 TO ondo
the mischief
Well, I'll be switched If that
don't beat the mortal bugs OF the
field. Why, Jedge Pinkeye is a bood-
ler.'
"A what?'
A boodler.'
is that wuss than bleeder?'
"A blamed sigh wuss
Then I'm afraid things amt
fixed in Black Snake
No, sir, they're away off, and
thare is only one way TO git them
straightened out
" How is that?
Gimme $3.50 right quick and let
me git back home before them other
fellers plant the pizen in the ranks
of the faithful
seed it was pertlcklish case,
so ! opens the safe again and counts
out $3.50 fur the kurnel.
Il kin fix 1t all up by practicin'
economy and appealln' to patriotism,
sed he.
About how many votes can we
count on from Black Shaker
We ginerally git fifty, but you
may look for surprise from Black
Snake this year, said the kurnel. as
he squeezed out of the door.
He hadn't more n got down to
the corner till nice. dapper little
feller. with a billed shirt and stand
In collar with a white choker and
silk nailkeg hat, lookin' as purity and
inherent as Mr.. Williams over there,
came in and shook hands with me j..
Il understand you are Squire
Swackhammer, the renowned philos
opher logician, politician and statist,
sed he, in voice as smooth as silk.
i am them things and severile
more of the same sort, said /.
am very proud to meet you,
sed he. i come on a mission fraught
with the highest interest of the Re-
publican party. If we lose forty
votes in my township we may sacri-
fice the state to the enemy. Air you
ready to see it sacrificedG
'Thare won't be no sacri6c,n'
while I'm runnin' this here shop
Noble statesman would that
there were thousands like you in
high places. You can save forty
votes in my township
" I like your looks and you talk
like man of sense; but what is your
name and where are you from?'
My name is Samuel Slicker, a
leading and highly respected business
man at Slickers Corners, Black
Snake township, Adams county
AHA! You're from thar, too.
air you? Black Snake seems to be
in a heap of trouble, but | got it
liked jest a few minnits before Won
come in
You must be mistaken
About what?
About Black Snake township"
About Black Snake township" B"
'Thars trouble down thare, amt
they?'
There is, am sorroy to say.
Lots ov 1t to the square inch
That's true-alas, 1t is too true.
And money will fix It all right o
That describes the situation
Then I've got it fixed. In the
first place, I give Captain Bilkins 500
-
Lord, help usl'
TO flxe 1t up and then along
comes Jedge Pinkeye and tells me
that the captain is bleeder and the
money was lost, so l gives the jedge
$125-'
'Merciful heaven!'
To onix the mistake. and then
along comes Kurnel Bigelow Blathers,
who tells me that the jedge was a
boodler, and the money was wuss
than wasted, SO I jest gives the
'Horrlble! Shocking Incrediblel'