Arizona republican., 1907-03-03

ed be th' Society rr Municipal Inn ] prOvement. But 'tiS din7rent with us | comely bachelors Bein' very beautiful. ! We can afford Co be naughty an peev- | ish lt makes us more inthrestin'. We l kind iv look thim over with gentle but supeeryor eve an say to ourselves: Now. there's a nice. pretty attractive girl l hope shell marry we'll An . whin sha mar-ieS wan iv our frinds we say: 'Ain't it too bad that such fine
 ~irl shui throw hersilf away on prac- . tical joke iy Nature like that By an , by whin tn roses fad" firm our cheeks ] an our e-c is dimm-d with age We bow to th' inivitabie. run down tn flag iv defiance. an ar-rc yanked into tn mul- 1 tichood iV happy an speeches. marrld men that lopl; liis. nIshl.@ht pitchers. Tn best lpulin' iv us nivrr get marrid i at all
 "Ycy. sir. there's no doubt We do a good deal tD b.autify tn landscape. i Whose pitchers ar-rc those yc see in 1 tr' advertisements iv th' tailorman? ] There's not a marrid man among thim ! |They'r, all bachelors. What does tn gents furnishing man hang his finest ncckties in h. front window fr but to U IiENhla " lAlh ft aAN'll'- f'Al 'A' iA'n''Ai says tn burnished bachelor? Sec tn ! lordiy bachelor comin' down tn sthreet with his shing plug hat an his white vest. tn dimon stud that he wint in debt rr glistinin' in his shirt front. an l tn patent leather shoes on his feet out shinin' tI noonday sun.
 "Thn see th' marrid man with tn wrinkles in his coat an his tie undher his ear an his chin ulshaven. Hc's wallin' in his Congress gaitcrs in a way that shows his socks ar-rc mostly alarmed. l niver wore pair iv alarmed socks sine, l was a boy. Whin | make holes in mc hosiery l throw thim away.
 Iris a fine idee iy th' ladies that men.
 are ouhappy because they have no wan to darn thcir socks an put buttons onI
 ,h ir shirts Tn truth is that man isl
 nar ouhappy Uecausa his socks ar-rc
 not alarmed because they ar-rc. An
 as fir buttons on his shirt. whin theI
 buttons comes or bachelors shirt he
 fiI,e it out iv th' window. lis ruleI
 about clothes is Jhruly scientific. Tn
 survival iv tn nt. dye mind. Tn oth- CTS to th' discard. Eu marrid man daros to wear th' plum1ge iv bache- Tor. If he did his Wife wud suspict him. He lets her buy his crayats an his cigars am lis little din'rcnce il makes 70 him which he smokes.
 "'Twud be villanous to tax tn bachelors. Think iv tn moral side iv it. Whats that3 Ye needn't grin. | said moral Yes. sir. We're tn most uuselGsh people in tn wurruld. All tn ! throublcs iv th' neighborhood a~-re my l throubles an my turoUbles ar-re m. own. 1T ye shed g. tear fr amy person | but wan ye lose we're latch kay. but l havin' no wan in partiklar to sympa- i thizc with ivry wan. Ou tn conthry if yv have amy griefs ye can't bear y" ! dump thim on th' overburdoneG should | CTS iv we're wife. But f l have amy l griefs ] must bear thim alone. IT a | bachelor complains iy his throubIes ] people say. 'Dh. he's the gay dos. l Sary-s him right An if he goes on complainin' hes liable to b. In Sr-reat ] peril. [ wuddcu't dare to tell me woes | to we're wife. IT did she'd have a good | cry. because she iujyes cryin'. an thin she'd put on her bonnet am r-run oyer an sick tn widow O'Brien on me
 "Whin a lady begins to woudher if 1 I'm not onhappy in me spualid home ! without tin touch iv a Womau's hand 1 ayether in tn tidy on tn chair or in th inside pocket iv tn coat. I say: No. ma'am. I live in Sr-reat luxury sur rounded be all that money can buy an nanny things that it cant or won't There ar-re Turkish rugs on tn fure am chaudyle,~s hang firm th' ccilins. There ! sit at night dnriukin' absiuthe. sherry wine. port wine champagne. beer. cream da mint. curaso. an bini- dictinc. occasnaly thakin' a dhraw at an opecm pipe an r-readin' Fr-Iinch novel. Tn touch iv a womans hand | wudden't help this here abode iv lux ury Wanst. whin l Was. away. tn beautiful Swcde slave that scrubs out me place iv business broke into tn