Arizona republican., 1907-09-11
MIR. COOLEY ON
 A PRINCES VISIT

Well. sir" said MT. Dooley, they're lgivin' that there Prince iv Sweden tn
 time iv his life in Newport"
 What are they doin' to him?" asked l Mir. Henness-.
 What ain't they doin' to him?" said Mir. Dooley. Iris th' lucky boy he is. Ye see his frandfather. that's tn old iKng iv Sweden. sint him over here to study our dimmycratic institutions. Tn old boy wanted him to look at thin
 near by so that he'd know how to act If annything happened that'd sind him back to wurruk at his great-great- Igrandfathers thrade. Willum's great great-grandfather was a lawyer, a Frinch lawyer, at that. an not much good. be tn name in Barney Dot. I have tn whole story firm Hogan. IWillum's great-great- grandfather was a lawyer an he wanted to make Will llum's great andfather a lawyer. too, like himself: an if it hadn't been that lWillum's great grandfather was wild Ith' beauchous ladies iv Newport wud Inc more be haulin' at Willum's coat tails this blessed day thin at Counsellor lNoonan's. But willum's great-grand- father was a tough: he was tn dis lgrace iv a dacint family: he listed in tn army an got to be wan iv tn lgin'rals iv Napolyon. Impror iv tn Fr-rinch. Bl an by Napolyon got so he cudden't bear tn sight ov his face Ian it was thousand to wan that he'd layether kill him or make king iv him. About this time tn Swedes come Iaround lookin' rr a king. tn king they {vF arfx- fps n lNapolyon was a kind iv intilligence of- flee rr kings If amy proud nation wanted wan iv tn anointed iv tn Lord. as. Hogan says, to bend its head to. Napolyon was tn boy they wint to see. Havin. met a good many kings, Tor overtaken thim as ye might say. he had an idee that anybody that wasn't good fr much else was good enough Ito be a king. He was mighty careful about who he picked out fr cooks, but lwhin 1t come to kings he'd just as Ileave shut his eyes an pull a sthrange name out iv a hat. He showed how he felt about it be maxim kings iv his brothers. Whin customer turned up. says he: I cant spare so-an'-so, he 'Itells a good story: or so-an'-so, he can spell: or so-an'sO. he knows all about dogs. But I can let ye have me broth CT Joe if ye can wake him up. or that old authenticated gin'ral standin' in Ith corner. He'd be a gr-reat king fir i've. His ancesthry is all right. His father was tailor So whin tn Swedes come lookin' fr a permanent boss he gave thim Barney Dot because he didn't like him or tn Swedes aye lther. An thus was founded tn dynasty that rules over a proud people that has done much iv tn heavy housework iv tn wurruld, rubbed tn roomaticks out iv our backs an give tn name iv olsen to tn entire population iv tn state iv Minnesoty.
 An there ye ar-re. Tn prisint king of Sweden seems like dacint sort iv an old la-ad. It's aisy come aisy go Iwith him. If anybody wants part iv his kingdom all they have to do is to Icut off a slice. He keeps open house. Whin tn Norwegyans. thim liberty ilovin' descindants iv tn old Vikings. demanded their rights. whin undher tn inthrepid leadership iv B. Yonson B. Yonson-if Hogan give me tn right i iname-an' Dock Nansen an others. they thundered at tn gates iv tn | palace did tn king dhraw his soord an attimpt to defind tn possessions iv | tn great house iv Barney Dot Faith, he didn't do annything iv tn kind. He laid down a glass of lemonade he'd been slipping an called: Catch A fine hospitable old fellow, says I. Tn Norwegyans havin' got their liberty went off an hired a Dane to be king over thim. Tn king had to marry sol he looked over tn Norwegyan ladies an married an English lady. as most kings do an will always do while Eng land holds tn supremacy iv tn sea. If England iver blows up yell read ivI a good nanny divoorces in high cir cles. There's wan thing tn English rifle family is doin' be marvin into' other rifle fam'iies. It's putin tn gov ernmine iv tn wurruld into tn hands iv tn plain people.
 "So tn old king sint Willum over here to study dimmycratic institutions an he's havin' tn time iv his life. Since Jeff Erickson he's tn first Swede. l bet ye, that iver wint into al Newport house through tn front dure or without a bundle. An there's mol place in the wIirruld like Newport tol study dimmycratic institutions firm. Ye can look right down on thim. Fr'm Newport our institutions all look very 1dimmycratic; firm Ar-rchy Road not sS much so, if at all. Ye can say what | ye like about Newport. but to me, Hinnissy. it's tn fairest flower iv our fertilization. read about it iy'ry day in tn Dalajeemses iv our liberties, as Hogan says. an it thrills me to tn marrow iv me bones. I've niver been to Newport: be tn way tn Jumper counts up iv'ry night I'll niver get nearer to it thin Saint Joe, Michigan. But I'm proud iv it just tn same Lave amy insolent Euro-peen ask me