davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1907-07-19
JOKE THAT TWO COULD PLAY.
Farmer Evened Up Accounts with
Young Would.Be Wit.

Young Stevenson was on his way
north 10 spend the week end with his
parents. and felt IN particularly jov.
ial mood. The train IN which he was
travelling had stopped at a small vii.
lagc As farmer who was sauntering
up and down the platform came oppo-
site Stovcns's compartment he was
asked by the youth II he knew that the
Duke of Deyonshire was on the train.
Immediately the man showed great in.
terest, and said: No, Is he?" T
think he is not" answered Stevens.
Il only asked you II you knew that
he was" The farmer said nothing,
but continued his walk on the plat.
form As he came opposite the win.
dow again he remarked that this town
has been experiencing some excite
ment What is the NATTER" asked
Stevens The authorities wouldn't let
some folks bury a woman" replied
the farmer What was the reason for
refusing" She wasn't dead" was
the lacunlc reply And then he strollcd
away, leaving young Stevens biting his
lip.-judge's Library.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1907-07-19
Cut-Rate Contributors.

In a certain parish of Greater New
York the rector, while admonishing
his flock on Sunday last that the col.
lection basket receipts were steadily
growing less. took occasion to declare
that certain parishioners contribute
TO their means, but others give in
keeping with their meanness." He
added that in measure such exhibit
tons of false pretense reminded him
OF the story told of the Pilgrim faith.
ers upon their arrival at Plymouth
Rock: First they fell upon their
knees; then they TELL upon the abor.
igines"
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1907-07-19

eyes. | have heard Of him. Owes
everybody, gets drunk and goes whoop.
ing around the streets Keeps q
worthless cur and has a fuudness for
telling stories beginning. Say. have
you heard this one? II you have. call
me- on Once there was a Young mar.
ricd couple A worthless loafcr a
dead beat and" "Oh, no, You are
thinking Of John +. This IS his cousin.
John G. Drives his creditors into
bankruptcy. runs over people with his
imported 60.horsc p0wcr automobile,
owns a $4,000 fighting dog. talks so
loudly in his box a the opera that he
infurlates those who think music was
made to be listened to, reads novels in
French, and" "Ah, | see,-strangc
! should make such a mlstake-a well.
known man-about.town." Puck.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1907-07-19
Sheriff's Sale Under School
Fund Mortgage.

whereas r. II. Glover ana Lizzie Glover
] MS VIE, by their certain deed OF mort gage,
/ dated the 7th day OF November, 1896 con.
Neyed TO the COynty OF St Francois. to the
use Of the inhabitants OF school township
! No. 3, the following described real estate.
\ situal" lying ana being tn the county OF - .
| Francois am state OF Missouri to.wit
! All OF lot numbered three % IN the town
| 81 suburban Place. rs designated and fully
I SHOWN upon plat ut said town now On MO
| IN the Recorders Office 90 -. Francois
/ county, Missouri.
which said conveyance was made to soc
cure the payment ut a certain Bpud In said
| deed OF mortgage described and Nlt Tpu1
said deed 81 mortgage provides that 10 20.
default 1T tho payment of said bond and
/ the interest due thereon when the same
! suull btcouc due and payable, the tuid
county OF -. Francois b. Its sheriff may
proceed 10 advertise ana s"ii said real "s-
tate, or so much thereof a. may De urrrs
surN TO satisfy said BOND, interest ana cost
OF TINS execution ana whereas dplHult has
been mndc IN the payment uf said bond. nc.
/ cnilIuE o. The terms Thereon. ana NU"rrns
! said bond Is nuw due nud unpaid. now
| therefore !. j. J, trOkC, the undersigned
~hcr,H of said IT Francois county. 10y viz
~" ANA authority of an order nl the County
Court, made on the ith day OF Juy. / o.. viii
ON
WEDNESDAY. August II, 1907.
between the hours uf nine u'cluck In the
forenoon ana i've O'Clock IN the afternoon
OF that day, nj the south front door of the
Court House, In the city Of FarmuRtOn Ia
said st. Francois county. ana during tho
session of the Circuit Court OF said county.
sell NJ hubble auction to the highest BIDDER
for cash, all the right title. claim, nteres;
ana estate ut the above named r. II. Glover
and Lizzie Glover, his wife. Of, I'm ana To the
above described real estate, 80 satisfy sulu
deed OF mortgage ana costs.
ia. CROkE, sherln.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1907-07-19
Costs TO Keep Umbrellas.

THAT old umbrella joke about ones
inability to keep one for any length Of
time came back to me with unusual
force this morning" remarked the
careful man. 81 received my umhrel-
la back from the repair man with a
bill for s3.Sb for recovering it and put
ting in new terrible. The umbrella
originally cost me $3.50 I've had it
four years now and in that time it has
been recovered twice so that It stands
me In nearly double its original cost.
But then | suppose that is the price
| have TO pay for my vanity in being
able to keep one umbrella for so long"
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1907-07-19

We arc always in these days endeav.
oring to separate intellect and manual
labor; we want one man to be always
thinking and another to be always
working, and we call one q gentleman,
and the other an operative; whereas
the workman ought often to be think.
ing, and the thinker often to be work.
ing, and both should be gentlemen in
the best sense. AS 1t Is, we make
both ungentle, but one enjoying. the
other desplsing his brother; and the
mass Of society is made up OF morbid
thinkers and miserable workers
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1907-07-19
The Camera Flend's WanderIust.

As the sun day by day ascends the
heavens and the actInic value of his
light increases. rhapsodizes the editor
Of the American Amateur Photograph.
or, there seizes us once more the
feryor OF the enthusiast From the
high shelf down comes the camera. the
plate holders are loaded, and we tramp
across the green fields looking for pic
tures-or pretending to. For half the
cause of our wandering has naught to
do with the black box We carry with
us. The primitive instinct for change,
the ancestral wanderlust It is. that has
seized us and driven US forth to ma.
ture.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1907-07-19
INCREASING LENGTH OF LIFE.
What Medical Science has Done for
the Human Race.

Reviewing the progress OF medi.
cine during the nineteenth century.
DR.. John s. Billings. United States
army, has shown that deaths OF wom-
en- from childbirth decreased during
that period from 10 to 20 In 900 to
8 In 1000. and that from all causes
the deaths in New York city fell from
between So and 40 In 1000 to less
than 20 in 1000. He recalls the fact
that 100 years ago yellow fever was
epidemic In New York and Philadel.
phia for two years. For 30 years the
disease has been almost unknown
throughout the whole country: also
that In 1900 the majority of persons
one met were pitted with smallpox
the survivors OF a much greater mum.
ber--wh!le now there are physicians
who have never seen case of small.
pox; and that In the Napoleonic and
disease than from wounds. while now
hospital gangrene is unknown Sta.
tistics show that in Chicago during
the last 80 years the average age at
death has increased from ~ to 80
years.
No one disputes these facts or at.
tributes them TO any cause other than
medical science-the measures EN-.
ployed partly in curing disease. but
more especially In preventing its in.
PRODUCTION or its spread when once
introduced.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1907-07-19

nerves or their digestion is responsible.
Both come from the same thins--.stomach
trouble. A man or woman whose nerves
are tied in knots is bound to be mighty
poor company. The snme thing is true if
what they eat don't digest properly. No
wonder they grumblc, don t blame them.
l have seen Cooper's New Discovery
change the whole disposition OF people in
months time simply by getting their
stomach in shape again. Even the ex-
preston on their faces was altogether
different. The worried, tired, freiful look
changed 20 a peaceful happy expression,
and tho lines of care disappeared together.
Many people tell me about this in letters.
They seem TO think 1t miracle. Itis'nt.
It's just the stomach working again.
Here's case of this kind:
81 suffered with my stomach for thirteen
years. Nothing ate seemed to digest. I
also had chronic constipation, and was
tired. dull, irritable and respondent all
the time. found il difficult TO attend to
my duties as traction agent at this place.
six different doctors treated me and
all gave different opinions"
IL began taking Cooper's New Discov.
cry, and to my surprise II helped me from
the first. l have gained ten pounds in
three weeks and am feeling fac. My
work now is Q pleasure, where before II
was drudsery." J. R. Smoek, Cicero,
Indiana.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1907-07-19
Something Omlnous.

THAT" said Senator Hale, referring
to a political report, lis omnous, II Is
like the unilnous speech OF the serv-
ant maid She had been employed only
two days In fact, Yer master and
mistress had been only two days mar.
ried. And going to the locksmith, she
said: win you please come TO our
house at once. sir? When Mr.. Viewed
started out this morning he slammed
the door so hard he broke the lock "
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1907-07-19
Mind.

Alfred Woodruff. six.year.old boy
In the FL Reno public schools, was
asked by teacher" to write an essay
on mind, and here Is what his mind
produced: You must mind your
mother or you will get II licken. Then
you will cry. Some mothers are cross.
Some mothers lick you for running
off. Some mothers lick you for going
up town. Some mothers lick you for
going a-swimming. II you will mind
you will never get Ticket. Kansas
City Journal.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1907-07-19
Sheriff's Sale in Partition.
william NJ. Fox. Plaintir.


David II, Fox, Minerva Fox, Anchor Ann
Moran, George ". Fox. ana the unknown
heirs Of sarah EoN keenan,. deceased. De,
PENDANTS.
PARTITION
In obedience TO an order OF the Circuit
Court of -. Francois county, Missouri. 90
the above entitled cause. made AZ TIA,
May term OF said court. 1907. and uu me
18Th day OF May, no.. /, the under.
signed sheriff of -. FTnnCois county. VIII
proceed to sell nj public auction. Tor cash,
Tor the purposes OF Partition, on
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST II. 1907.
between the hours OF nine O'Clock lu the
forenoon ana Ave O'Clock in tile attcTnu.u
OF that day, NJ the south front door OF fhu
Court House, IN the city ui Pennington. iu
said 81, Francois county Missouri, ana
during the session OF the Circuit court cot
said county, the following described real
estate. situate, lying and being IN the county
OF st. Francois ana state OF Missouri, to-
wit.
The southwest quarter of the southwest
quarter OF section eight, ana the north hail
OF the northwest quarter OF section seven.
teen, all in township thirty four norm,
range eight east containing one hundred
ana twenty acres.
j. j. CROkE, sheriT.
July 10. sgO7.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1907-07-19
Property Sized Up.

william" said an Oil City woman
TO her husband, II gave away an old
pair OF your trousers to-day You
did? What color were they" blue,
! think" Great Scott! Woman, do
you know what you've done%' why
--no-Willidm, | don't Was there any
money in Them Was there any
money in them? There happened TO
be $50 In them which ! intended hand.
ing you for a present William"
said the woman, quietly, 81 believe you
are lying Which he was, OF course.
oil city Blizzard
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1907-07-19
Advice as to Alaska.

There will be an element of surprise
in the advice of DIR. Henry Gannett, Of
the United States geological survey:
IF you are old. go to Alaska by all
means; but II you are young, wait"
Mr.. Gannett gives this reason for his
advice: "The scenery of Alaska Is
much grander than anything else of
the kind in the world. and il is not
well to dull ones capacity for enjoy.
ment by seeing the finest sights nrst"
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1907-07-19
Women Who Should Shave.

"One thing am proud OF about New
York women" said the man who just
got home, rs that they are clean
shaven. | never saw anything like
the side-whiskers end boards on the
women in France, Italy and Switzer-
land. In Paris once walked into n
shoe store and stood there petrlfied,
forgetting what | went In for. the big
brunette cashier at the desk had such
q furious mustache."
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1907-07-19
A Hlah REGARD.

81 suppose you have certain ad.
miration and esteem for our govern.
ment?" said the sarcastic citizen.
Undoubtedly" answered Mr.. Dustin
Stax. Our government has trained
some of the most efficient men that
we capitalists have In our employ
Washington Star.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1907-07-19

Precautions Against Electric FIRES
II your dwelling is electrically light
ed never place wood, clothes or other
inilammahle material against the
wires. meters or switches; never use
an electric wire as clotheslne, and
see to It that your dwelling is kept
free from rats, as these pests often
gnaw the insulation from the wires.
The amount Of loss from electric
fires" in the United States In one year,
according to the Saturday Evening
Post, is sl5,000,000.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1907-07-19
Natural for Them.

Those young fellows act like
bunch of fools" They consider that
they have right to act that way"
I'D like to know what right" They
belong to the smart set. Houston
Pos
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1907-07-19
SHORT TALKS BY
L. T. COOPER.
CHRONIC CRANKS.
We all have met people who are con.
tinually kicking. Life seems a terrible

thing TO them. They
ell d ON smile .
Something dreadful
is going to happen,
nothing is ever just
right, and they
worry and fret and
c O m p iain from
morning till night.
Their trouh lie
seems to be just a
bad disposition but
this is seldom so.
In most cases there
is one OF two things
the matter with
II
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1907-07-19
Dlsappolnted.

Inquisitive-"If as you say, you
knew this man TO be a rake, why did
you invite him TO your house?" Hen
peck-"Heayens man! never
dreamed he would elope with my
daughter; | thought he would carry
of my wife Translated for Tales
fram lie Rire.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1907-07-19

We sell the Cooper medicines.
e. m. Laakman, Pennington
Hattiesburg daily news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1907-1908, 1907-08-31

sVippi is part Of Hattiesburg.
Manager BIxler has beer quietly at
Iw0tk. during the summer arranging
Ito give hi4 patrons one Of the best
seasons ever known in Hat
ltiesbufg ana when he announces his
Hist OF attractions folks will sit
straight UP and pay strict attention to
what he Gays about it. He knows the
people here, and he knows their taste
liz anybody does and he has endeav-
|ored to suit them with the attractions
flor this season and those who know
Mort Bixler bests know what it means
when he tries"
SO, from now on the young man will
get busy, for beginning Saturday, Sep
TENDER Z. he'll have TO hustle all the
time to get money for theater tickets
cause there's lot of difference be-
tween the electric theateA and the reg
|ular theater-just about 99 cents per.
Hattiesburg daily news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1907-1908, 1907-08-31

The first signs Of the coming fall
and winter season are in evidence for
the bill-boards say that the theatre
cal season will open next Saturday
night when Tim Murphy, with Dorothy
Sherwood, will inaugurate the theat-
rical year with "A Corner in Coffee"
This is one Of Mr.. MurpLy's newest
plays and is said to be a good one, but
any one who has ever seen him in any
old thing doesn't care much what play
he appears in just so Mr.. Murphy is
there. He will have royal welcome
to Hattiesburg, Of that he may rest as
sured.
Miss Sherwood Is Mississippi girl
and is therefore dainty and sweet and
winning and although her home is in
Columbus instead of Hattiesburg the
ater-goers here will let her know that
she is welcome home-for Columbus
is a part of Mississippi and Missis-
Hattiesburg daily news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1907-1908, 1907-08-31
BARGAINS IN ADJUSTMENTS.

According to theatrical papers Hat
tiesburg furnishes a better show in
its 5 cent theaters than is furnished
by high class vaudeville theaters in
large cities. The Star Theatorium on
Pine street, near Mobile street, heads
the list with Ed Hirsch, the fam
GUS baritone and comedian, and Baby
Naomi, the wonderful child artist, as
sisted by Master Willie.
Last night the Star was again
crowded. When seen by a reporter
for the Daily News last night, Mr.
Slack said that on account of the large
crowds, he has arranged to hold over
Mr.. Hirsch and Baby Naomi for an
other week and they will give special
matinee for ladies' and children this
Afternoon from 8 to p. m. A hearty
laugh is guaranteed all who attend
the matinee. Program will be entire.
ly different for the night performance.
Hattiesburg daily news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1907-1908, 1907-08-31
LUTHER MANSHIP
ISSUES THANKS to-
MISSISSIPPI VOTERS

Jackson, Miss. August 3O.-Hon.
Luther Manship, who was on yester-
day declared the Democratic nominee
for lieutenant governor over Hon.
Wiley N. Nash, winning by a majority
of nearly 1000 votes, has issued the
following letter Of thanks to the peo-
pie:
ITO the Democratic voters OF Missis-
sippi:
II desire to say a few words express
ing my thanks to the people of my
native state for the splendid support
accorded me in the recent primaries
extending to everybody. voters and
candidates. whether for -6r-against me
my gratitude for his manifestation OF
their favor.
Il shall Try very hard to merit the
Kind confidence which l am sure the
|sphehdid majority given me fully in
dicates. During the ninety days or
more that was actively engaged in
the canvass fol lieutenant governor. |
was unable TO visit more than twenty
Of the seventy-eight counties of the
state. Upon reflection, I am persuad-
ed that If | had stayed at home |
might have Jared better, for, by actual
count, more of the counties that did
not visit gave me good majorities than
those did visit.
THE only regret l have is that |
was called on to defeat the two splen-
did gentlemen who opposed me, both
of whom l esteem very highly, and
whom am proud to call my personal
friends.
Very sincerely,
LUTHER MANSHIP."
Hattiesburg daily news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1907-1908, 1907-08-31

than waiting to gather it in perhaps
greater amounts in the future. So,
through the agency of friends of his
father, he set sail for Boston, where
an opening had been made for him in
a big dry goods house.
But business was not his forte. He
spent all his leisure time in painting
pictures which he found, moreover, he
could sell very readily. So he threw
up his mercantile job and departed
for London. The next seven years in
London were years of keen disappoint-
ment to the young artist, who had a
hard struggle for existence. His abil-
ity to sing and play finally landed him
an engagement to play a small part in
one of the Gilbert and Sullivan operas.
Then he concluded that America of
fered better field for his talent and
once more set sail for Boston. Pro
ceeding to New York he made his
first appearance at the Standard The
alter in that city, as Dromez in Three
Black Cloaks." This was in 1882. His
next venture was Nick Vedder in a
musical setting of RIP Van Wrinkle .
latter which he returned to the Gilbert
and Sullivan line and appeared as the
Lord Chancellor in ''Lolantho.' II
was not, however, until several sea-
sons later that he attracted any great
Iamount of attention from the public.
What might be called his first hit
was made as Baron Chevrial in "a Pa
risian Romance" under the manage
ment of A. NJ. Palmer.
Mr.. Mansfield's first creation as a
star after his appearance as the old
Partisan roue was as Prince Karl at
the Boston Museum on April s, 1886
He followed this with "Dr. Jekyll and
Mr.. Hyde" on May 9, 1887. at the same
playhouse, nine weeks later reappear-
ing at the Medison Square Theater
New York, in his own play of Mon
sieur," as the starving music master.
These plays formed his repertoire for
two years, at the end of which time
he went to England and gave his Gel
ebrated production Of king Richard
III" at the Globe Theater. March is.
1889. The house was not large and
tie production was on such a scale
OF masAidcence that it cost more to
raise the eQrtain each evening than
the receipts coSld possibly amount to.
MI. Mansfleld seturned to America
the fellowinr wear md gave the ffthI
d his steIllE career. beau
Hattiesburg daily news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1907-1908, 1907-08-31

Sombras in "Castle Sombrass at the
Grand Opera House, Chicago. The
second Shaw play, "The Devils Disci-
ple," was presented in Albany ON Oc1
tober IA, 1897. The following spring
in Boston, on April is, he presented
his Eugene Courveisier in THE First
Violin" Next came his remarkable
"Cyrano de Bergerac" on October 3.
1898, and his memorable spectacular
realization of King Henry w on Oc-
tober 8, 1900, both at the Garden The
alter in New York. The Twentieth Of
his stellar roles was Mons. Beaucaire
in 'Beaucaire," first given at the dedi-
cation of the Garrick Theater, Phila-
|delphia, on October Z, 1901. His lat
Ter plays included Julius Caesar"
Don Carlos" and Ivan the Terrible
In his production of The Nissan
thrope" Mr.. Mansfield was the first
actor to act any Moliere comedy in
English
Mr.. Mansfield was married Septem
Der IS, 1892. to Miss Beatrice Gamer.
on, who had been his leading woman
for twelve years. She retired from
the stage upon her marriage and they
made their home, when Mr.. Mansfield
was not ION the road,' in handsome
residence on Riverside Drive, New
York.
Hattiesburg daily news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1907-1908, 1907-08-31
ATTORNEY GENERAL
FLETCHER VICTORIOUS
in RAILROAD CASE
Daily News Special.

Daliy news Special.
jackson, Miss, August s0.l-Attor-
ney General r. v. Fletcher received a
telegram this morning from Chancel-
Tor T. A. Wood. Of the gulf coast dis
trict, announcing that the injunction
proceedings relative to the site of
the Memphis, Jackson and Kansas
CITY depot at Merrill has been de-
|cided in favor of the state.
This decision is quite a victory for
the Attorney General who argued the
Injunction case in the Greene County
circuit court. Briefly stated. 1t means
that the Merrill depot must be built
lon the site ordered by tRs railroad
commission. One faction jof citizens
lat that place opposed the iute selected
by the commission and in4tituted the
injunction suit. 1t is probable that
ian appeal will be taken.
Attorney General Fletcher has two
other suits pending relative to depot
sites, the most important being, the
litigation with the southers Ziiwhy
to compel that corporation to stop ITS
trains at Devma, which will also Be
|cafrled to the HQpreme court.