davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The new era. (Walden, Colo.) 1906-19??, 1907-12-19

ZAP on more wood,-thc wind
is chill;
But let it whistle as It will.
Wen keep our Christmas
merry still,
Each age has deemed the
new born year
The tittcst time for fcstal
cheer:
The new era. (Walden, Colo.) 1906-19??, 1907-12-19
\! ,!:..!A y !:
che Best Wi$Des
Of TIE Season e

70 the Solitary, the dwellers apart,
- by choice or by chance, with
hearth-hres that for one burn dull
and for two would glow and sing -
to all of these,
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
Sea Trees.

Forms OF life In the sea are far
more wonderful than any that exist
on land. However much one may
doubt the stories of sea serpents,
there are probably far bigger fish in
the sea than ever come out of it;
and as for plant life. 1t has been con-
cluslvely proved that sea trees 1900
feet in height are quite common in
the ocean. These monster trees are
a kind of brown seaweed, the upper
most branches being only about a
quarter of an inch in thickness
Countless bladders, like miniature
balloons, and about as big as a
hens egg, form among the branches of
the tree, and. being filled with air,
buoy ur the trunk and branches so
that they grow almost erect. Nam.
moth sea animals often build their
nests in these trees. as they give off
several degrees of heat. which makes
the surrounding water comparatively
warm.-Exchange
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
GREELEY AS A POSEUR.
Great Editor Was Prone to Harmless
Affectation.

There was a great deal of innocence
in Horace Greeley as well as not lit
tie affectation. He was rarely seen
without one trousers leg carelessly
caught in the upper part OF his boot
and a necktie with bow under his
ear. Once in the public room Of a
hotel a friend of Greeley's kindly
pulled down the disarranged trousers
leg and Strengthened the necktie.
Greeley thanked him and soon after
left the room When in the course OF
half an hour he appeared in the street
the trousers leg and the necktie had
been carefully disarranged, and the
man looked as negligent of things
earthly as he always looked. 1t was
part of his pose as man OF genius
to wear his trousers leg and his neck
tie as if he had put them on In a
hurry while absorbed in meditation. 1t
was a harmless eccentricity.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
HINT FOR LATE STAYERS.
Custom Borrowed from the Beers to
Get Rid of Bores.

In South Africa candles are used
for lighting purposes in the homes.
and when young Boer maiden has
gentlemen visitors, the mother sticks
a pin in the candle, and when it has
burned to the pin the callers under
stand that it Is time for their de-
parture.
Mrs. Early, society matron OF
Washington, recently made a visit to
the Transvaal. and was impressed
with the custom of the Beers that
she determined to introduce it into
her own home. Consequently the cleo
trio lights were removed and candles
substituted in the drawing room.
Mr.. Staylate, a frequent though not
always welcome caller, was one Of
the first visitors to call after the in
auguration of the new custom. He
witnessed the placing Of the. pin in
the candle by Mrs. Early, and after
she had gone ventured to inquire:
Why, Miss Early, does your moth
er stick a pin in the candle?"
oh" responded tbe young woman
with an air Of apparent innocence.
mother learned that in South Africa
as way of sending home the Beers"
-Harper's Weekly.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
GOOD Jokes
THOSE GOLDEN LOCKS.

Theirs had been a love-match pure
and simpIe--in fact, they had eloped.
and finty.hearted parents had proved
obdurate. Therefore they had nothing
to live on but love. and they grew thin
on II. At last starvation stared them
In the face.
"Oh, George" walled the young
wife. what shall we do? am SO
hungry"
Alas | know not. darling" he
sighed. fondly but sadly toying with
her luxuriant tresses.
But I know, George" she suddenly
exclaimed. after pause. Il will sell
my hair"
What" he almost shouted Bar
ter those golden locks for base dross?
Have them cut off by a soulless bar
ber' Never--never' I will starve
first,"
But George" she assured him.
they do not requiring cutting ON
See" And she detached the glistcning
three-guinea switch from her haid and
laid II In his hand
That night the young couple supped
luxuriously; but still he was not
happy.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
YES, THE DRAWER OPENED.
Jones Knew II, But Explanations Were
Not in Order.

Jones was going away. And. as
usual in such cases, it was up to
Jones to put on clean collar and
shirt, and, incidentally, catch a
train. He had no time to spare.
Maria" he shouted downstairs.
where are my things"
In your bureau drawer, of course"
f1oated up from the basement.
Jones then tackled the drawer.
Stuck. of course. tThey always do
stick when you are in a hurry He
pulled and heaved and said things
unmentionable. Suddenly, with q
perversity for which bureau drawers
are noted. it flew open with a rush.
and Jones. with a death grip on the
handles, shot clear across the room
The drawer couldn't go through tho
door. but Jones could, and did. land
ing at the foot of the stairs with >
crash that Jared things nightly. just
in time to hear the partner OF his
bosom ask:
Did you get 1t open. Henry?
That was adding insult to injury.
and Henry stalked upstairs with fire
in his eye, and said never a word
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
CUTTING a Fern.

Boston ferns that have grown SO
large and luxuriant as to permit divid-
Ing into smaller plants may have cut
tings taken away from the roots with
out damage to the plant, IL carefully
done. II transplanted to the right
soil and kept under proper conditions
the cutting should root we'll and devel-
ID into healthy plant.
A fern does not need hot and in
cessant sunshine. Two of the finest
Boston ferns known to the writer
spend the entire winter in windows
where scarcely sunbeam falls,
though there is plenty OF light. A
little sun, however, does them NO
harm and a moist atmosphere Is es
sential.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
TEST FOR SPURIOUS COINS.
Simple Method Disclosed by Juror
During a Trial.

At this session of the central GRIM
inal court there has been an excep-
tional number of charges Of making
and uttering counterfeit coin, says the
London Tribune. At the conclusion
Of one of the cases the foreman of the
jury asked the authorities II they
would take a suggestion from IL busi-
ness men who during the year had
to deal with considerable sums in sill
yer coin.
There was a most simple test for
the detection of base coin. 1t was to
cut the milled edge of a good coin
sharply against the milled edge of the
suspected coin. If the suspected coin
were a spurious one the metal would
almost Immediately begin to shave
off. 1t was, he added, test that
could be carried out anywhere, on the
top Of bus or in a shop, and the
public ought to be acquainted with it.
After making a personal test the
common sergeant said he quite agreed
with the suggestion Of the jury as to
the usefulness of the test and said 1t
ought to be made known.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
Worm Deserved Its Fate.

Miss Marie Shedlock Is famous for
the invention of a new and delight.
full type of children's entertainment
Dressed as a fairy, Miss Shedlock re-
counts to children with delicacy and
power the lovely tales of Hans An
dersen. She keeps her wits about
her in her entertainments. and chill
dren. no matter how odd their ques.
lions may be, can never stump her.
She is always ready with an apt re-
ply.
Entertaining childrens party at
a certain millionaire's house In New
York, Miss Shedlock happened to en-
ploy the old proverb: The early bird
catches the worm" A little boy
questioned the proverb promptly.
But wasn't the worm foolish. he
asked, TO get up early and be
caught?"
My dear" said Miss Shedlock
that worm hadn't been to bed al
all. He WAS just getting home"
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
k.n,ueky's Good old Corn ereas.

Land OF the luscious. indescribabls
and ever conqaering corn bread. Ken.
lucky. we hail thee. Other states
have their own bread. but no corn
bread on earth ever reaches the right
spot In the hungry mans makeup
like that of old Kentucky Corn bread IL
the Kentucky housewives monument.
See the genuine corn bread anywhere.
or even the Imitation. aud the mind
must instinctiyeiy 30 back to old
Kentucky. with ali it's treasures and
traditions of corn bread making
This. verify. is "A land OF corn and
wine land of bread and whey ards
See the Kentucky household gath.
cred about hospltable tables 10 realize
the truth of Victor Hugo. oh. the
love OF mother. love no one for.
gets miraculous bread which God
distributes and multiplies, board al
ways spread by the paternal hearth.
whereat each has his portion. and
al have IL entire. Louisville Her.
aid
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
NOT AN ORDINARY MEMORY.

The driver of the furniture moving
van admitted that he had very bad
memory In fact he could hardly re
member what work he had performed
the day before.
No. can't recall just where H. was
that Mr.. Snddenmove had me take his
household goods. My memory is very
poor. sir, he replied to the bill col
lector
But you moved him only a week
ago"
Yes, sir. but you see we move so
many people that it's hard matter to
recollect"
The bill collector slipped half dol.
lar In the mans palm That ought
to do your memory good" he re
marked
1T ought to-" the man replied. but
you see this amt no common, every.
day memory OF mine, and It has to be
logged considerable. Why. 1t cost Mr.
Suddenmove dollar to make me for.
get. Milwaukee Sentinel
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07

"Ieh iiebe dlchi" She Said. Simply
| deplore It for your sake; but for my
own sake"
Here we are at the tailor shopE
interrupted Fraulein. In sudden fiut
ter You will walt without while !
deliver tho vests, ! shall appear again
directly
In a very few moments they were
proceeding ON their way, minus the
vests. Frauleln Pauline held In her
hand a five,dollar TIM "A weeks sal
ary'" she said. viewing It medltatively
Suddenly hand closed over the bill
and the fingers that held It, Pauline.
at last | may speak, had no right tc
before, but now you are poor. poor
and | cannot feel sorry. because am
SO glad. Pauline. dear one. do you
guess how | have loved you always
from the very first? Sometimes | have
thought that you cared, dared mol
let myself dwell Ions on that thought
but now must know. Pauline."
She lifted her long iashes and le,
him see what lay beneath. There was
no coduetry In those clear depths
now.
Itch liebe dlch." she said, simply
words that In any language need no
translation.
After long. long time. when they
had once more become conscious OF
the payements and the shops and the
earth, Fraulein Pauline said, Ernest
my first care shall be to extermInate
the one fault which | find In thee.
Thou art too proud. | was left lonely
and unhappy simply because had
more money than thou hadst, and thy
pride could not bear the thought.
couldst thou not have loved me so
well that wealth would have meant
nothing To thee?'
1T was for your sake
For my sake, Then thou didst not
give mo credit for equal depth OF soul
With myself Achl"
Pauline. treues hertz, forgive me.
| see my mistake"
III IL well. for | have confession
| to make TO thee. have done my best
to please thee by being poor, but alas,
| am still rich, Ach. II is a dreadful
change of prospects. ! am sure. but |
trust TO thy honor as gentleman
not TO desert me under the sad cir,
camstances" Her eyes smiled at him
mischleyously. 1T was only what you
Americans would call a bird
"A birdf oh. | see A lark You
were carrying the vests for somebody
else. hut this plain gown"
Fraulein Pauline laughed merrily.
/ Thou art also hird," she said.
/ Thou art a goose II is Paris
/ gown. Dost thou think that vest max.
| ers wear such At But. Ernest. thou
| has not said that ! am forgiven for
/ SIN being rich
/ Herr Westcott drew her into an
/ empty entry. and kissed her. Dear
/ little lark" he said. Il have learned
I my iessoni"
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
A PalpabIe Plot.

Mrs. Du Ille--John. my dressmaker
arrived today, and | must have the
materials tomorrow.
Mr.. Du Ille-Eh? What? You said
you had written to her not to come
until next month.
Mrs. Du Ille--Yes, did, but she
never got the letter.
Mr.. Du lille (clasping his hAAd to his
breast pocket Woman! this Is a
plot! II you had really wanted her to
stay away you would have handed
that letter to the postman yourself;
you wouldn't have given 1t to me to
mail.-N. Y. Weekly.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
Different Shades.
raped

The celebrated medium raped
three times on the black cabinet.
And now. kind sir" she said In
spooky voice, what shade would
you like me to tell you about?"
Why" replied the little man In
the audience, Il would like you to tell
me the shade my wife told me to
match when started down town to-
day. Chicago Daily News.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
An InfAILfhIe Rule.

Mr. James Ia very fond of mush-
rooms, said Mrs. James, but | am
so fearful OF his eating toadstools
That | almost Dever get them. I wish
l knew way to tell the difference"
Il know an infallible rule
DO tell me, and I shall be your
everlasting friend"
III you die. It's toadstools; II you
live. It's mushrooms. Judge.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07

lifted the bundle. and looked at II in
dismay.
You to carry such long way Is
IL possible, that all your wealth =
gone. and that you are sewing vests
fc- a living7"
1T does not pay well, but II Is hon
est work." said Fraulein Iauline plain
lively.
Great heavens, II Ia monstrous,
! could not have believed II possible,
Was there no one to look after you.
Forgive me for speaking so. but ]
have always been Interested In your
wflfare. and surely you will pardon
a friend for his frankneas,"
True sympathy is never ont 81
place. Herr Westcott Ach. strange
things are possible. Hut you must
know that my wealta was never the
greatest thing to me. Not that II Ii
very pleasant to be poor"
'Of that | am well aware. therefore
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
Men Tall and Short.

Mullhall the statistician, whose
figures are quoted all over the civil
lied world, makes an interesting
statement as to the average stature
of men of different nations. Taking
the age Of 80 as the period of life.
he gives the following figures: Amer
leans, 6Sl inches, English, 67.9;
Scotch, GA; German, 66.2; Russian.
65.4; Hindoo, 65; Chinese. 64.2: Bush
men, 62, and Laplander. 60.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07

They were speaking of the fashion.
able wedding.
And she was the last daughter" re-
marked one.
Yes added the other. and they
always said she was the cream of the
family"
And after the ceremony the parents
wept wonder what they were cry.
ing about?"
oh. perhaps they were crying over
split milk"
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
Victorious.

Two young men. both residents In a
large Scottish city. met one day In the
street.
"Weel. Tam" said the first. Il hear
we're In love WI bonny Kate Nc
Allls.er."
Il must say" replied the other, IL
wis near--verra near--it; but the lass
had nae siller. so | said to myself,
Mac, be mon And was mon,
and moo | pass her wi silent con.
tempt"
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
One on the Panama,

Higgins the astronomer.
declares that Mars is a million years
older than the earth.
Higgins-iiow can he prove Il?
Kiggins-By showing that the inter,
oceanic canals In Mars have been com.
pleted
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
Small Fortune Left to Yale.

BY the will OF the late Prof James
NJ. Hoppin, OF Yale, just filed, he leaves
besides many other beQeusts to insti-
tutions $50 900 to the Yale art school
to be used for the establishment Of a
professorship In architecture.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
EXPLAINING u.

I'D like TO oblige you, but all
the ready money had, some $4,000.
aas Just gone to purchase an auto"
but | thought you told me the
other day that none OF your money
would ever 10 into an auto?'
SO did. but that was before Old
Smoothe squeezed me In a stock
transaction. II was Smoothe who
bought the auto. Houston Post.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
The Joy Of ooino sometbIno

Consider how, even in the meanest
sort of labor, the whole soul of a man
is composed into kind OF real har
mony the instant he sets himself To
work-Carlyle.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
There Are Others.

"Clsrker seems to be actually jeal
Gus OF his chauffeur"
No wonder; he has to pay the
man more than he earns himself
Puck
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
PatchY Wall Paper.

II patch must be applied to wall
paper, let the new piece lie in strong
sunlight until the colors are faded to
match those on the wall: then tear the
edges and the applied piece will not
be SO conspicuous.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
GoosifeIIow'x Mlstaks

First Clubman-How does 1t hap
pen that GoodTellow has such a hard
time getting into society?
Second Clubmm Society found ou,
that he wanted to get inn. Y.
Weekly.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
Mark of Mans Superiority,

God that all-powerful creator OF ma
ture and architect of the world, has
impressed man with no character so
proper to distinguish him from other
animals as by the power OF speech
Ouintilllan
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07

Farmer Green twho has been
knocked down by a balloon anchor)
Col dern EN-! I'll hev tn law on
EN-. Whar's the sheriff? Farmer
Brownie use kicking. Josh! Them
critters is above the law, l reckoni-
Houston Post.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07

EVERYBODY wants TO write poetry
nowadays, grinned d publisher late
". and nobody wants to buy It,"
Certainly, there is in the verse mar
ket at present what would be called
in other financial circles a slump.
Nineteenth Century.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
A Little CareIess.

She wrote dandy sensible article
for the magazines on how to live on
thousand year. but none of them
would buy It"
How was that?"
She forgot to have any money left
over to subscribe for magazines" -
Judge.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
Fashions Decree.

Lady lat bookseller's)-Pm sorry
about these books. Some of them may
be masterpieces. but really can't buy
books with bindings that won't match
the hangings OF my library.-PeIs
Mele.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
A Misunderstanding.

Boatman--Nay. mister. | can't let
yer hey me boat just now, There's
heavy swell Just comm up,
'Arry--Swell be bowed Amt my
money as good as 'tss-Royal Maya
xine.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
Good In Bald Heads.

Il always patronize bald-headed
barber remarked the wise guy.
Because Why" queried the simple
person.
because, explained the W. g., ''he
can't separate me from the price OF a
bottle of hair tonic."-Chicago Daily
News.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
Rather Cruel.

Reggy didn't you see me In
the amateur theatricals, Miss Wose?
Miss Rose-Gracious, yes.
Reggy don't you think
am an actor. pure and simpler
Miss Roosevelt. don't doubt
about the simple part. Reggy.
cago Daily News.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
prae,ielna the lasso.

why is Ethel striuging Jack along
SOL Is she foolIng him.
mo. she thinks with practice she
can rope him. Detroit Free Press.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
Chinese Fishermen.

The Chinese fish with net sus-
pended at the end of bamboo pole.
The fisherman, when he desires to
raise or lower his net, walks up or
down the balance board.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
Would Your

III you were slave. what kind of
slave would YOU prefer to be-"
"A slave 10 wealth. wouldn't your"
Detroit Free Press.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07

Mrs, kelly--All that ye are ye owe
10 me. Patrick Kelly
MIR. kelly--Well. II oi tvir git 30
ciuts oill give 1t to ye and settle the
iudebudniss, Home Magazine
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
He Knew Momen.

She-Why is Il man always drops
into a back seat when he goes to
church,
He--Because he has no bonnet to
show. my dear. --Yonkers Statesman.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
GAUGE of Friendship.

Gauge of your good friend may BE-
of his preference for your unpleasant
truth rather than your fattering lie.
John A Rowland.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
Sad Case.

Mrs. Slyhel-rhe boy grows more
like his father every day,
The Caller-poor dear, AID have
you tried anything.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07

A Little o. the Same.

You say you were In the saloon at
the time of the assault referred TO in
the complaint" questioned the law
yer.
II was. sor." replied the witness,
Did you take cognlzance of the
barkeeper at the time"
Il don't know what he called II.
sor. but took what the rest did, -
Milwaukee Sentinel
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07

Employer-Have YOU had any expe-
rience as chauffeur
Applicant-Well. | can show you re
ceipts for all the fines | have paid
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
No Dream,

A kiss on the lips,
II you'd pause to inquire.
Is worth about flfty
Sent YOU by wire.
Milwaukee Sentinel.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
Hard 20 Please.

Waiter. This looks very much
like a hair In this stew -
Yes. sir; it's hare stew. sir,"-
Youkers Statesman.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
Sets comfor, Before Fashion.

DIR. Hans Richter. the famous
musical conductor. is a thorough be
Hover in comfort in dress and not In
frequently sets iashlon al defiance.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
Whan Two Constitute a N

DO you think the child Is father to
the mani
Il don't know about that. but IL he
has his mother on his side he Is
pretty likely to be the boss of the
ranch Chicago Record.lierald
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
The First Quarrel.

Adam-Its all od, Goodbye forever,
Eve-Then take back your rib
Jsdge.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
He Was Satisfied.

Father--Is the teacher satisfied with
you?
Tommy-Oh, quite
did he tell you 500"
Yes: just the other day he said to
me; III all my scholars were like you,
would shut up my school this very
day That shows that I,now
enough"
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07

do you think women have no sense
If humor?'
"Oh. don't know. 1t isn't hard to
amuse girl who looks pretty when
she smiles.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1907-02-07
THE BARRIERS OF WEALTH
BY VENITA SEIBERT

Copyright. 1900. by Joseph b. Bowles,