Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1907-10-11
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FIR TWIGS
lSH LUE r VERNON

Flattery Is the Jimmy that has
opened many u heart.
Has the largest assortment of ties
the railroad company.
A Texas doctor owns an oil-wcll.
He makes money from the sick and
well, too.
Does an ordinance against ex-
pectorating on sidewalks include cat
splitting?
See to it that your wife is kissed
and caressed, even if you have to do
it yourself.
II railways are not careful. the
autos will soon distance them in kill
ing people.
The undertaken gives many man
the first vacation he has had since he
was married.
The other fellow does not care how
much it discomodcs you, just SO you
grant his request. Ever notice it?
When receive Il letter written in
violet-colorcd ink, | always imagine
the writer is suckinga "sugar-teat. I"
The Olympia Duly Ne,cs
Appears in such an order,
That Recor,ier and Oiympidn
Couldn't be used for border
Write list and see if you haven t
fifty acquaintanccs to where you
have one .Jrind amongst the names.
Try it.
The WASHINGTON STANDARD can
lay claim to one distinction that of
never having spelled through thru
or " thro.
Between riding in street car and
automobile, while visiting Seattle,
you will be far safer in taking my
advice-walk.
a silverdollar coin in your pocket
beats, by Jar, the tivc-dollar bill the
fellow intends to give you next
Saturday night.
In becoming angered at the grind
stone, the AK, on the farm, should
have a care, and remember the form
er has plenty of grit.
We may not all be like Old King
Cole" the merry old soul''-but we
can at least keep our faces from sour
ing the cream, if we try.
Tho Montc,ano Inlrte is neatly
printed paper and full of news, but
one cannot find the name of editor,
printer or devil in the sheet.
Prince Wilhelm has departed from
the United States. Too bad he was
not accompanied by few of New
York 5 swell society women.
The country editor is generally the
butt of ridicule for people whose
ignorance and stupidity cries to the
high heavens and hears no answer.
The Auburn 4rgns is one of the
brightest exchanges l read among
country wecklicS. Each issue teens
with bright, interesting paragraphs.
Soon we'll have the winter rain,
And be lively as Il goat;
For when We have to go down town,
We can wear our old gum coat.
An Eastern Washington editor is
said to be slowly worrying himself to
death over the question of what be-
comes of the wind when it doesn't
blow.
would rather nurse BLACK
eye given to me by Il man, than to
receive II diamond stud from Il hypO-
critic who poses in my presence as a
friend
Men who stay at home every
night are not good for ANYTHING y
says DIR. Julia Holmes Smith. |
don't know who Julia is, but hurrah
for her anyway.
Senator Tillman proved to the
OctOroon in Seattle, that the negro
is not the equal of white men in in
telligence. That octoroon should hide
himself for a year.
Count the day as lost, when Ia
coma newspapers do not fill space
with stories of wild Imam whales, !"
24-story building" :" the haunted
building" and SO on.
The sooner "camping-out" bills
are paid, may wife, mother-i law,
uncles, aunts and cousins begin to
surmise what sort of presents Santa
Claus will bring this year.
Find some unreasonable, unsensi-
ble and silly subject, and managers
oflecture freaks will "present" you
to the public, and see that the "ad-
vance sale" is always large.
Tacoma may have it's whale,
wild man, - "24-story" sensational
articles, but Seattle makes such tales
appear covered with thick canvas,
beside its trunk-murder mystery.
If the abused, despised barkeeper
Would tell all he knows,
About many who visit his place.
Trouble would brew,
Divorces-gee! whew!
And lawyers would win in pace.
MY goodness! The new morning
paper has been in existence some
weeks now, and would you believe it,
hasn't offered contest or scheme of
any sort yet. to dntHSe its SubScrib-
erS.
The manner in which Senator Till
man shut up the smart octoroon, who
interrupted the Senator during his
address in Seattle, was the most
brilliant thing happening in Seattle
for many moons.
Stranger in North Yakima to na-
tive of the place: will you irri-
gate?" Native: Certainly. And
before the stranger has time to
think. the bartender says: Twenty
five cents, please" Stranger: "lrri-
CATION is somewhat costly, isn't it?'
| N,t;va docs not hear him rs he is