davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-07-14

CAY, when it 20 gettin' himself tangled up
~ in ways that nobody ever thought of before
you play Pinckney clear across the board
But l never knew him to send out such hard
treathin hurry call the got the other day.
1t first thing in the mornin too just about the
time Pinckney used to be tearin off the second
coupon from the slurnber card | hadn't more n
got inside the studio door before Swiftly Joe says
"Pinckney's been tryin to get you on the wire
Gee! says l, he S stayin up late last night!
Did he leave the number"
He had and it a sixty-cent long distance call
SO the first play l makes when rings up is to
verse the charge.
That you, Shorty" says he. Then for good
ness sake come up here on the next train. Will
you?"
House afre, bone in Your throat, or what"
It's those twins" says he.
Bad that" says l. Then I'll come
Want | ten YOU about the pair of mated
orphans that was shipped over to him unexpected;
and how Miss Gerte, the Western blush rose that
was on the steamer with EN-. helps him out Well,
the last l hears Pnckney is gone Mss Gerte
and gettin farther from sight every minute. He's
planned it to have the knot tied right away,
hire furnished cottage for the summer, and put
in the honeymoon gettin acquainted with the ready
made family that they starts in with Great scheme.
Suits Pinckney right down to the ground, because
Ii 5 different He begins by accumuatn pair of
twins. next he finds girl and then he thinks about
gettin' married. By the way he talked, | thought
it all settled; but hearin this whoop for help
susPcioned there must be some hitch:
There want any carnation in his buttonhoe
when he meets me at the station: he hasn't shaved
since the day before: and there trouble tracks on
his brow.
Cant You stand married life bettern this"
says |.
Married" says he No such luck l never
expect to be married. Shorty; I'm not fit
is this decision that was handed YOU or was
it somethin' you found out for YOURSELF" says l.
It's my own discovery" says he.
Then there's hope. says l. so the twins have
been gettn you worried Ell: Where Miss Gerte.''
That gives Pnckney the hard luck cue and while
joys along towards his place in the tub cart
he tells me all about what been happenin'. First
of he owns up that he's queered his good with
Miss Gertie by ben in such rush to flash the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-07-14

joints. They'd want to know how 1nanv
bath rooms, if there was malaria. and
all about the plu1nbin' and what the
neighbors was like. But Twin at the
club don't put you wise to them tricks.
Plnckney, he just rings up real estate
agent, gets him to read off a list, SAYS,
III take No. 3, and its all over Next
day they move out.
Was he stung? Well, not so bad as
you d think. Course, he's stuck about two
prices for rent. and he signs lease with
out readin' farther than the Whereas !;
but. barrin few things like haircloth
furniture and rooms that have been shut
up 50 long they smell like the subcellars
IN brewery, he says the ranch wa mt so
bad. The outdoors was good, ANYWAY
There was lots of it, acres and acres.
with trees, and flower gardens, and walks,
and fish ponds. and everything you could
wan. for pair of youngsters that needed
room. 1 could see that myself
Say, Pinckney," says |, as We drives
in through the grounds. . if YOU can't get
along with Jack and Jill in place of
this kind you'd better give up Why,
Wait. says he. You haven't heard
it all
Let it come, then" says l.
I'VE will look at the house first"
SAYS he.
The kids wa mt anywhere in sight; so
We starts right in on the tour of inspec-
ton. 1t was big, old, slate rooted bar
racks, with jigsaw work on the caves, and
a lot of dinky towers frescoed with
ightnin' rods. There was furniture to
match, mostly the marble topped. black
walnut kind, that was real stylish back
in the '7o's.
In the hall we runs across Snivens.
He was the butler; but you wouldn't
guess it unless you was told. Kind of a
cross between horse doctor and mis-
sionary, l should call hirl-one OF. these
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-07-14

short legged. barrel podded gents with pair of
white wind harps framin' up putty colored face
that was ornamented with set of the SolenneSt
lookin' lamps you off stuffed owl
Gee, Pinckney!' says l, who unloaded that
you?'
"Snvens came with the place" says he
:" He looks it." says l. Il should think that face
would sour the milk. Don't he scare the twins
Brighten Jack and Jill? says Pinckney. Not if
joke But he does make all the of us feel creepy
Why don't you write him his release? says l.
Can t." says Pinckney. He is one Of the con-
ditions in the contract-he and the urns
Yes" says Pinckney sighin' deep. I'VE are
coming to them now. There they are.
With that we steps into one of the front rooms,
and he lines me up before white marble mantel
that is just cheerful and tasty OF them
pieces in Greenwood cemetery. On either end was
what looks to be a bronze flower pot.
ITO your right. says Pnckney, - is Grandfathe-
to Your left, Aunt sabina."
Whats the JOSH: says |.
Shorty. says he, heavin' up another sigh, YOU
are now in the presence of sacred dust. These
contain the sad fragments of two great Van Rusters
powder mill, fall into stone crusher!
"Cremated. says Pinckney.
Then | gets the whole story of the two old
were the last of the clan. In their day the Van
Rusters had headed the Westminster battin list,
ownin about half the county and gettin their
in the paper reg'lar. But they'd been peterin out
for the last hundred years SO, and when it got
down the Misses Van Rusters, pair of thin edged
old battle axes that had never wore anything but
Grape and jet bonnets there Wa mt much left OF the
estate except the mortgages and the
Rentin the place furnished was the last card il
the box, and Pnckney turns up the willin victim.
When he comes to size up what he's drawn, and has
read over the lease he finds he's put his to
lot he didn't dream about. keepin Snvens the
pay roll promisn not to disturb the urns, usin the
furniture careful. and havn the grass cut in the
private buryn lot only few that he could
think of off hand.
You amt tenant, Pinckney, says l; ''you'rea
philanthropst.
Il feel that way" says he. AT first, didn't
know which worse, Snivens or the urns. But
know now--it is the They driving to
distraction.
"Ah, do a lap!' says l. Course, give in that
there might be better parlor ornaments than potted
ancestors, specially when they belong to some
else but they don't extra, do they? thought
it was the twins that worryin' YOU"
That is where the urns come in, SAYS he Here the
youngsters now. Step back in here and watch"
He pulls into the next where could
see through the draperies There's whoop and &
hurrah outside. the door bangs and in turnbles the
kids, with nurse taggin behind. The youngsters
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-08-09
.n,.m WIN oddg and ENDS apout

- enem with ODDS and ends ABOUT
art and politics and the latest lit
erature, heavy and light" On Tues
days ands Fridays she had an ''indi-
gent gentlewoman," whatever that
may be, come to her to teach her
how to converse and otherwise con
duct herself according to the stand
ards of polite society" joe used
to give limitations of those conversa-
ton lessons that raised roars OF
laughter round the poker table, the
louder because SO many of the other
men had wives with the same am
billions and the same methods Of at
tending them.
Mrs. Ball came back to the sub
ject Of Anita.
Il am glad you are going to settle
with such charming girl. She
comes of such a charming family.
have never happened to meet any Of
them. We are in the West Side set.
you know, while they move in the
East Side set, and New York is so
large that one almost never meets
any one outside ones own set" This
smooth snobbishness. said in the al
fected society" tone. was as out OF
place in her as rouge and hair-dye
in a wholesome. honest old grand
mother.
/ began to pace the fiooor. Can
it be-" / fretted aloud. that Joe's
racing round looking for an Epis-
copalian preacher when there was
Methodist at hand?"
I'm sure he wouldn't bring any
thing but a Church of England
priest" Mrs Ball assured me ioftily.
why. Miss ElIersiy wouldn't think
she was married. if she hadn't
priest of her own church"
My temper got the bit in it's teeth.
| stopped before her. and fixed her
with an eye that must have had
some fire in it, I'm not marrying
a fool. .drs Ball. said l. You
mustn't judge her by her bringing
her family Children have a
way of bringing themselves up. in
spite of damn fool parents"
She weakened so promptly that /
was ashamed of myself My only
apology for getting out of patience
with her is that I had seen her sell
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-08-09
MANIAC PLACED IN STEEL JACK
EFT AFTER FIGHTING POLICE
AND DOCTORS.
MAINS HIMSELF FOR THE CAR
Unfortunate Man Thought He Would
Get High Position in Russian
Government as Result
of Deed.

New York-Laboring under the de-
lusion that if he made some great per-
sonal sacrifice In the name Of the
car and czarina OF Russia they would
reward him with high political hon
ors. William NJ. Mclaughlin, 80 years
old. Of Huron street, almost tore his
tongue from it's roots. shortly before
noon the other day. became violently
insane and had to be strapped into
a straitjacket and removed to the
Kings county hospital Before he
was finally brought into submission.
however. Mclaughlin gave the doctor
the ambulance driver. a policeman.
and several neighbors the tussle Of
their lives.
Just what drove Mclaughlin to
such sudden violent insanity the doc
tors have not yet been able to dis
cover. Except for the small shred
of flesh McLaughlin's tongue is ser
cred, but the doctors hope TO patch il
up so that il will grow on again.
The insane man is unmarried and
made his home with friends at the
Huron street address. He has been
out of work for a long time, but it was
not noticed that he had serious faults
with his mentality.
Early in the morning, however, his
friends were surprised to hear him
talk queerly about the sacrifice he
had been called on to make in be
half of the car OF Russia What
that sacrifice was he would not tell
those who asked him questions in the
effort to pacify him, but he rayed
considerably about the high minis
terial position with which the car
would repay him for the doubtful trib-
ute OF agony After awhile the folks
with whom he lived got tired Of his
nonsensical talk. and, thinking that
he had been temporarily deranged by
the heat, left him to himself
Shortly before noon. however. the
tenants on the floor below heard him
scream and stamp around the floor
at great rate. When several of
the neighbors had summoned enough
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-08-09

been accepted. and the men and the
severer sisters only await the &C
ceptance by another pastor of call
to the church.
Rev. DR.. Krause looks like the pic
lures one sees OF German abbots-
Fourteen years ago Or. Krause took
charge Of the church in Stapleton. He
was professor OF theology. Latin and
Greek in Wagner institute. Rochester.
n. Y, at the time he accepted the
call. and was accounted a man OF
superior attainments. He was edu-
Gated in the University of Leipsic. and
had a ministerial charge before he
came to this country.
BY and by the townspeople whis-
pered that the good pastor was
trife too convivial When they spoke
with him about it he pointed out St
Paurs dietum about the small drop
for the stomach's sake.
Then there came the Uhl-Ullman
marriage in Stapleton little over
two years ago Uhl. millionaire
London hotel keeper. married the
daughter of a wealthy Staten Island
family. The festivities following the
wedding were participated in by
large company OF German singers
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-08-09

like her voice | had not counted on
this; | had been assuming that Anita
would not be out of my sight until we
were married. 1t was on the tip of
my tongue to interfere when she
looked at me-for permission to go.
Don't keep her too long," said 1
TO Alva. and they were gone.
How far off is the nearest church ?"
cut in.
Only two blocks-that is, the Meth
odist church." she replied. But l
know Mr.. Ball will bring an Episco-
palian'
why, l thought you were de-
voted Presbyterian" said l, recalling
how in their Brooklyn days she used
TO insist ON Joe's going twice every
Sunday to sleep through long ser
mons.
She looked uncomfortable. Il was
reared Presbyterian" she explained
confusedly, but you know how it is
in New York. And when we came
to live here. we got out of the habit
of church-going. And all Alva's lit
tie friends were Episcopalians. So
drifted toward that church. l find
the service so neutrality-suspicious..
And-one sees there the people one
sees socially"
How is your culture classs" l in
quired. deliberately malicious. in my
impotence and nervousness" And 90
you still take conversation lessons2"
She was furiously annoyed "Oh,
those old jokes of Joe's.' she said,
affecting disdainful amusement.
In fact. they were anything but
jokes. On Mondays and Thursdays
she used to attend class for women
who. like herself. wished to be up
to-date on culture and all that sort
OF thing They hired a teacher to
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-08-09
LATEST NATURE STUDY.
Cat Fondles Rattiesnake Until En-
dearments Cause Fight.

Tulsa. /. 1.-THE following story is
not told by Rev Long. Jack London.
Mr.. Roosevelt or others who have
written nature studies, but by DR.. Nc
Cornell. of Tulsa. who knows snakes
and cats when he sees them.
Dr. Mcconnell was sitting on his
porch when he saw a cat coming up
the lawn dragging a rattlesnake about
three feet long
The cat had the snake by the nape
Of the neck, if il had such a thing.
and apparently was experiencing no
trouble in -toting~ its load
The feline carried his snakeship IN
der the porch. and there for Is min
utes she lovingly fondled it with her
paws. DR.. Mcconnell called the mem
bers of DR.. Harrison's family to watch
the performance
Finally a disagreement arose. and
the serpent was seen to strike wick
edly at the cat Tabby liked this
phase OF the situation fully as well
as the amorous stunts. and fought
back with zest
The snake and the cat kept the duel
up for probably five minutes. when
the spectators thought it was time to
interfere. and the snake was killed
The cat was bitten in a dozen
places. but the bites had no effect
other than 10 rufie her fur
The snake had a number OF deep
scratches on its body. Fourteen rat
ties and a button were taken from its
fail
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-08-09

dom in the last few years, had for
gotten how matter-of-surface her af-
fectation and snobbery were, and
how little they interferred with her
being a good mother and a good wife,
up TO the limits of her brain capacity.
I'm sure, Mr.. Blackjack she said
plaintively, Il only wished TO say
what was pleasant and nice about
your fiancee. l know she's lovely
girl I've often admired her at the
opera. She goes a great deal in Mrs.
Langdon's box, and Mrs. Langdon and
| are together on the board of man
ayers of the Magdalene Home. and
also on the board of the Hospital for
Unfortunate Gentlefolk." And so on.
and on.
l walked up and down among those
wrapped-up. ghostly chairs and tables
and cabinets and statues many times
before Joe arrived with the minister
and he was a Methodist, McCabe by
name. You should have seen Mrs.
Balls look as ne advanced his portly
form and round face with its shaven
upper lip into the drawing-room.
She tried TO be cordial. but she
couldn't-her mind was on Auita,
and the horror that would I'LL her
when she discovered that she was to
be married by preacher of sect
unknown to fashionable circles.
IAN ask of you" said l to him.
lis that you cut IL as short as pos
sible. Miss Ellersly is tired and
nervous" This while We were shak-
ing hands after Joe's introduction
Alva and she were coming down the
stairway. | was amazed at s,gff sf
her. Her evening dress had given
place to a pretty blue street suit with
short skirt-white showing at her
wrists, at her neck and through
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-08-09
0012GT NS5 Iy15s 5QR75 zZZRZz 01z4Hy10

in the hall. go in. Allie. It's o. X"
heard the door slam, knew we should
soon have some sort of minister with
u.s.
Allie" entered the drawing-room.
had not seen her in six years. re-
membered her unpleasantly as a
great, bony, ford child, unable to
stand still or to sit still, or to keep
her tongue still, full of aimless ques-
tons and giggles and silly remarks
that she and her mother thought fun
ny. saw her now, grown into a hand
some young woman, with enough
beauty points for an honorable men
ton. If not for prize-straight and
strong and rounded, with a brow and
a keen look out of the eyes which it
seemed pity should be wasted on
woman
From what Mr. Ball d,"-Mrs.
Ball was gushing affectedly to Anita
II got an idea that-well. really,
didn't know what to think"
Anita looked as if she were about to
suffocste Allie came to the rescue.
Not very complimentary to Mr..
Blackjack, mother" said she good
humoredly. Then to Anita. with
simple friendliness there was no re-
sisting: Wouldn't you like to come
up to my room for few minutes?"
"Oh, thank youl" responded Anita,
after quick, but thorough inspection
of Alva's face, to make sure she was
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-08-09

from near and far. and wine and beer
flowed freely
Early in the morning. when the
guests thought of departing. they
found that Is Of their silk hats had
been converted into crush hats by
the simple process OF using them as
a bed
krause admitted that he had been
awearg and laid him down. but not
on the hats. Some more things were
said and Rev. DR.. Krause departed
feeling hurt
That started it. The resignation
ended it.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-08-09
TORE OUT TONGUE
AS A SACRIFICE.

courage to Investigate they found Nc
Laughlin pounding his head against
the wall. clawing the furniture and
screaming Justify Apparently he was
in great agony. for his tongue hung
far out of his mouth and seemed to
be suspended by merely few shreds
Of flesh.
The neighbors rushed to the Green
point police station, from which
hurry call was sent to the eastern dis
trict hospital When Dr. Snyder ar
rived with the ambulance Mclaughlin
pushed his tongue back into his
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-08-09
Victims.

The inflow of new shades suddenly
rose TO the proportion of a crash
Such jam was there at the entrance
that a panic was narrowly averted By
reason of souls getting the notion that
it was Brooklyn they were going TO
instead of Hades-
Old inhabitants had seen nothing
like it since the days of the Spanish
inquisition-
Indeed. this colloquy was to be
heard on every hand:
Glad to know you What sent you
here"
The auto da fe. And youg"
THE auto mo bile. ~. Y. World
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-08-09
PASTOR SLEPT ON HATS
AT WEDDING, IT'S SAID
RESIGNS, BUT PROSPECTIVE DE-
PARTURE DOES NOT DAMPEN
HIS ENTHUSIASM.

New York.-Rev. DR.. Albert P.
Krause. pastor of the German Lu-
theran church of Stapleton, S. l., sat
in the center Of a bevy of stout ma
irons in the basement of the Sunday
school building the other afternoon
eating ice cream and cake and drink
ing lemonade.
Rev. DR.. Krause has rendered his
resignation under pressure. and it has
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-08-09

mouth. snapped his jaws, and refused
to let the doctors examine it or treat
him Il required the combined
strength OF about six men to hold him
still, but their task was by no means
an easy one, for Mclaughlin display
ed great strength and raised ructions
with everybody and everything In
the room When they finally ioored
him a strait-jacket was clamped
around him. and DR.. Snyder had to
pry open his Jaws to stuff his mouth
with gauze so that the few shreds that
stsH held the tongue to it's roots would
be left intact.
Then they. carried him down to the
ambulance and removed him to the
Kings county hospital in Flatbush-
There it was said that Mclaughlin
condition was serious
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-08-09
fTo be Continued.l
Not Used to EN-.

Those Nwritch people don't know
how to treat interiors.
We'll. you couldn't expect them TO
You see. they haven't had any infert
orr very long. Cleveland Leader.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-08-09
Unqualified.

Does your wiIe still call you IS
many pet names as she did when you
were first married."
Not as many pet ones.
Live Oak daily Democrat., 1907-10-15
WHITE MEN ARE WANTED FOR
THE r. II. MAIL SERVICE
BUT FEW MAKE APPLICATION
More Negroes Are Being Received
Than Are Wanted

Washington. Oct 14.-Owing 10
the fact that VIII te men in the South
show no great interest IN standing
civil service examinations for the rail-
way mail service, the postof1ce de-
partment is in a quandary. A feF
weeks ago examinations were held In
various parts OF the South for clerk
ships in the rA.Iway mail service. but
eight out Of tenor those who stooJ
them wefe EeSroes. IR one Southern
city, officials Of TIE postoffce depart
ment declare, every man appeared u
be examined was q negro TIE namR
of the city is not given Many ~
the negroes, it is understood, passed
successfully and now the department.
does not know what TO do about e.
The negroes are not wanted, but how
to get rid of them is puzzle Rail-
way mail clerks are needed.
Live Oak daily Democrat., 1907-10-15
GEAR TRICKS ARE NUMEROUS
ETTBEARs HIDE OUT
THE PARTY IN HIGH SPIRITS
President win Start for Home Next
Monday

r-subouIl la. oct. 14.-No per
.a4 react ID s;amboul from the presi-
s.rt. r-up on Bear Lake today ex-
s.s. a ..-ty which started from there
earl, tttF morn ~. and no messenger
g. .,s-.,.A until tomorrow. They
t-a.r. onlA The report tha. the
r-,.s.rr audN his remaining com
pa .o.. lad N sde an early start ami
ua- r.s ,,e~S IN high spirits and
to...1r of tctt tr fortune than has yet
attended y Il hunt
$ v,ral nemSers Of the party have
seen bears at the\ lake. and bear
,racss a.c reported to be numerous
Two timber wolves yesterday passed
VIKINGS; of thk camp.
The presidenY spent yesterday in
and around c9fnp. the only exerc' Sc
by him beiug& 4 walk along Bear lake
and a row on the water. No MEM
bers of the barty made any attempt
at hunting. Fhe weather remains
perfect for hunting. There was a
slight coating Of ice on the water this
morning. The president will come
into StamboulA next Sunday. before
starting Monday on his return to
Washington.
Live Oak daily Democrat., 1907-10-15
TAFT'S SPEECHE6 AND VISITS
ARE THEMES OF IMPORTANCE
GERMAN OPINON CORDIAL
ipd These People Are Much Pleased
With His Statements

New York. Oct 1f-The Mails
cable from London says:
Ni-. Taft's 6gursfIoons huge and
compelling in the Far East and his
shadow ;alls athFart the European
chonceliories. HIS speech at Shang-
aai aud coming visits to ST Peters
Jur6 and Berlin are themes OF para
mount Importance in London and on
the continent. Wherever the COM
mcrc;al or the political aspects OF the
Taft pilgrimage" ere discussed. COM
ment invariably Emphasizes the in
sention OF the United States TO leave
no doubt as TO it's SAsiatic policy.
German opinion Is sinEulayly cord
al 70 Mr.. Taft's declaration that the
Philippines will not be sold. His
statement carries. SO Berlin thinks. a
7,si@a that Washington viii not
raa~ 4 bargain in 1871 with Japan,
y.~n 1he time comes for revising III"
fgrlu-s.-Aue7.cap treaty. b. which
r',.'c'~ coolies would DO diverted
..aa ,ra Pacific slope states 10 the
...-.,- colonies of Spain.