davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1907-09-15
:: Wait Until You Are Asked ::

would have grown and nourished like
weeds. with absolutely no care at all.
but because they were her neighbours
they died.
Hereafter there viii be a GOODNESS
between the women. which might have
been avoided if the first woman had
waited until she was asked.
There are countless other instances
that have come under my observation
in which trouble has followed the too
precipitOus offer OF assistance
People offer to take care Of other
peoples children. their dogs. their
cats. tneir parrots. and at the same
time they are laying up all sorts OF
trouble fer themselves. A child may
be a cherup in fits own home. but the
minute Il is transplanted to the fire.
side Of neighbor it suddenly degener-
ates into young hend. The cat who
was never known to stray viii take on
the most abnormal propensities TO
roam the minute a neighbor offers to
take care OF Il, and sometimes it
comes back. but more often not. Dogs,
too. that are regular, well-behaved
dogs at home. viii develop ali sorts OF
troublesome traits as soon as they go
visiting, and as for parrots-words fail
me. If the parrot happens to belong to
someone else.
So II you would avoid trouble (and,
goodness knows. there's enough with
out hunting for any more) wait until
you are asked before volunteering your
services.
In other words. don't butt in.
The Washington times., 1907-09-15
THE sLEEPER's LARGE CHOICE.

While we were chatting. two labor
ers passed, each shouldering a roll Of
blankets. The butcher pointed to them
and SAID: You see those fellers. don't
you? Well, when FIRST reached here
from the East thought a man with his
bed on hi@ back was the funniest thing
I'd ever come across. but a rancher in
this country won't take his hired men
into his mouse. They've got to furnish
their oSn blankets and usually sleep
on the hay IN the barn 7 know a fell
Ter, who when he'd just arrived and
didn't understand the ways they man
age. got a Job harvestin' on a big wheat
ranch The help are apt to sleep in
the straw stacks then. and it's precious
little time they get 10 sleep anywhere.
but he didn't know anything about that
and he was sitting around IN the even
ing, and he says TO the rancher, Where
am ] goin' TO sleep tOniEht2"
why. I don't care where you sleep,
says the ranCher I've got $50 acres
OF land around here. and II you can't
fro place TO sleep on that. III get
my next neighbor TO lend me piece Of
his."-From Along the Columbia" by
Clifton Johnson, in Outing.
The Washington times., 1907-09-15

as a ease OF love at first sight" But
it remained for the poetic lover TO
weld the affections Of the lady OF his
choice by means OF a poem prepared
especially to grace the occasion. That
poem was called 1.-THE Proposal" It
was directed to Miss Abbott, and II
was successful. The artistic tempera-
ment Of the author, and his ability
to couch pretty sentiments in flowing
rhythmics. pleaded his cause elo-
quently, and his suit was won
Only a few intimate friends OF the
bride and groom witnessed the cere-
mony. which was performed by the
Rev. James F. Allen. pastor Of the
Park Methodist Episcopal Church.
Somervnle. The bridesmaid was Miss
Avice Mccoy. of Cohoes. n. Y, and
the best man was Fred Mccoy. also
OF COhoes. Immediately after the
ceremony the couple left on a short
wedding tour. and upon their return
they viii reside at the brides resi-
dence on Russell street.
Mr. O'ReiIy is a relative OF the late
John Boyle O'Keilly. Mrs O'Reilly
IS a sister OF Dr. Frederick Abbott. OF
boston. She is an accomplished must
cian and an expert hOrsewoman. Her
fortune Is estimated at sos. 600.
The groom is a graduate Of the Uni
versity or Minnesota. and besides be-
ing a writer possesses a fine tenor
voice.
The Washington times., 1907-09-15
Miss Humphreys Will
Give Up Positionin d
Western Hospital TO
Practice Medicine in
the Old Dominion.

- BE people OF Virginia are watch
ing with unusual interest the
career Of Miss Annie Fulton
Humphreys. 3 brilliant young
woman, who has recently received the
degree OF H. d. and an appointment
al A Western hospital, which position
she viii probably give up TO come 70
Virginia to practice her profession.
Miss Humphreys. who was born at
Vanderbilt University. Nashville. Tenn.
Is daughter OF Prof Milton W. Hum
phreys. now OF the University Of VIZ
ginia. Her mother was a daughter Of
the late distinguished educator. DIR.
Landon C. Garland Miss Humphreys
spent her early childhood at Nashville
and at Austin. Tex After her father
came to Virginia she was taught partly
at home and partly at the school OF the
Misses Meade. at Charlottesville Later
she entered the Randolph Macon Won
ems College, at Lynchburg. where she
studied for three years taking the en-
tire scientific course offered by that in
stitution. She then entered the medical
department Of the University OF Michi-
gan. where. after studying for four
The Washington times., 1907-09-15

a n ISIS IDA GRAY ABBOTT. a
M wealthy Maiden. Mass. so
ciety woman, was won by
poem. Thomas Fr-ncis
O'Reilly, Of Boston, whose name Is
known in literary circles. was the
author OF the poem. The two have
been made one at the Abbott home
In Maiden.
Mr.. O'Reilly met his bride for the
first time at a society function. and
there followed that which is known
The Washington times., 1907-09-15
Dee So TPAGEnY

Why is il that The ocean moans2
That's what I'd like to know:
Ii may BE- that the lobster
Has pinched its under-Uow.
Chicago Journal.
And maybe II IS just the pain
That thrills Its bosom wide.
What time il snuddeTs at the bar
And thinks Of last nights tide
Cleveland Leader.
Perhaps you'd moan a bit yourself
II now and then a whale,
Escaping from a swordfsh,
Should lash you with his tail
Philadelphia Ledger.
The tickle ocean wooed the moon.
They to a parson hied.
The sound you hear IS only this.
The moaning Of the tied.
August IAppincottk
The Washington times., 1907-09-15
Lost Is the Art
of Conversation

- ONVERSATION is no longer
cultivated as one OF the fine
arts. We talk IN society, but
we have ceased to converse,
and perhaps are all the more lively
for the change, says the London Sat
b urday Review. A Johnson would be
voted a stupendous bore: we cannot
conceive a man who prepared himself
at all points for a meeting with a lord
chancellor. and who much as ne loved
his friend Burke. always met him at
the club as an adversary. The pace is
too good for that sort Of thing now;
men come to social gatherings to trihe
and relax. with the feminine element
fortunately in the ascendant. The
most gifted raconteur. with the most
tenacious memory, no longer shines at
the dinner table unless he is brief and
discreet. Macaulay with his rare
flashes Of silence would be Scratched
by brilliant latter-day hostess. and
even Sydney Smith would be con-
demned to whisper his jokes to his
neighbors. The professed wits have
disappeared, and ready repaTtee is at
a discount. There are clever men still.
as there were brave men before Aga
memnon. but they trade on their lit
erary or political fame. keep the best
OF their brains for their books or
speeches. and seldom pull themselves
together to sparkle in private.
With the advent of the diner a Ia
russo. prosy takers no longer find
civil listeners. The company has
broken up into couples or groups. and
autocracy has succumbed to a flvoI-
Gus democracy Gatherings for serious
talk used to be something of a social
mania. Not content with opportunities
for showing OF at dinner. when the
glass gives natural stimulus 10 in
teHect. the saEes met over the teacups
IN societies for mutual admiration.
The literary breakfast is dead as
Samuel Rogers. who originated IL. and
even Lord Houghton, with all his
bright cosmopolitaRism and tact. could
scarcely strike sparks out Of his mat
inaI convives. saw something Of the
last Of these breakfasts and heard
great deal more. ard the memories of
the dying past were by no means ex-
hilarating
The Washington times., 1907-09-15
Geese Win Race
Over Turkeys

~ o more curious examples OF ono
M OF these side issues Of sport
IS to be found than is offer
ed by a match made when
George " was still Prince OF
Wales. says George Hibbard IN
an article on the curiositIes of
sport IN the Metropolitan. The match
was a famous one IN It's day from It's
exceptional nature, the parties engag-
ed in il and the unexpected denoue-
ment. The Hon. George Hanger, af-
treward Lord Coleraine. was ono OF
the celebrated and eccentric person
ages Of the day. At one Of the gay
parties at Carleton House. Mr.. Han
ger was led in the course Of the con-
versUtion to declare hat turkey
could travel faster than goose. The
Prince OF Wales, who had great con-
toence in his Judgment as to all mat
ters In wind, Bnb. and speed" agreed
with him In this declaration. A Mr..
Berkeley differed from them and a
match was ct once arranged. Twenty
turkeys we're entered against twenty
geese. The distance TO be Travelled was
ten miles. the raee was for $500. In
deed the confidence in the turkeys was
so great odds OF 10 l were offered
and taken-that these birds would win
The prince at. once arranged t. have
twenty Of the finest and galnest tur-
keys collected. At the time and place
appointed he met Mr.. Berkeley with
his entries OF geese. The race began.
From tn start there was every indi-
cation that the turkeys would come
in winners hands down" or wings
down. They tripped onward at q brisk
pace. which the geese. with their heav-
fer waddle. were not able to equal. In
deed. at the erd ef three hours the tur-
keys were leading by two miles. But
night was falling AS tho light grew
less the turkeys displayed signs OF un-
easiness. they began TO look at the
trees that appeared by tho wayside
and edged toward them. The prince.
VITA a COe. 10 which vas fastened q
piece Of rec cloth, did what no could
TO urge ti.eel forward FIRST one es-
capped, an6 raising Itself 20 a pendant
limb, settled itself down comfortably.
This one was no sooner disIodged than
another established itself in Ike man
ner. Barley scattered along the road
did not aid In the least. The turkeys
had concluded that It was time to turn
IN. ans turn in or turn out they did
IN a few minutes all OF the twenty
we're roosting IN trees, from which It
was impossible to drive them. Mean
while the geese came numbering on.
They slowly passed their slumbering
competitors. The race finished with
the geese first and the turkeys no
Wileye."
The Washington times., 1907-09-15
By CAROLINE PRESCOTT.

BY CAROLINE PRESCOTT.
ET OOLs rush in where angels
- fear to tread" IS. I an well
aware. an old. moth-eaten
proverb. but it means as
much today as it did when penned BY
Alexander Pope. away back IN the
seventeen hundreds II there IS ever
a particular time when woman. lovely
woman, makes the angels weep over
her preclpitous manner Of rushing into
things. IT Is when she offers to do
something for somebody.
A long time ago 1 heard an old
grandfather give this advice TO a little
child: wait until you are asked.
This was long ago. so long ago that
I was too little to understand Just
what he meant. but since then after
having kept my eyes and ears open,
I have come to understand what tho
old gentleman meant when he advised
the little child to wait.
Wait, that's the thing to do. Don't
rush in and overwhelm your friends
with unsolicited offers Of assistance
until you are sure they viii be appre-
ciated
ones duty 10 ones neighbors does
not consist in lying PROSTATE before
them to be used for a doormat- II We
are needed, and needed badly, we will
find it out soon enough, never fear
For most people are not backward in
letting the public know when they
are In need OF anything. The expert
ence OF the woman who offers to take
care Of her neighbor's plants while
she Is away is familiar 10 US all. It
is not any particular woman, but
almost every neighborhood can fur
nish the story She volunteers to take
care of the neighbours plants while the
neighbor is away on a vacation trip.
Through several long summer weeks
she worries over these plants, water
ing them and tending them. and even
giving up nice little suburban excur-
sions because those plants must be at
tended to- She hates them even be-
fore the Job is half finished, and ere
the woman who owns them comes
back she has reached the frame OF
mind in which she does not care
whether they live or die. and Of course
they die.
If they had been her own plants they
The Washington times., 1907-09-15
The Bacillus Cupidis.

IT HIS poisonous bug, the doctors
declare,
Il ever around US. It turks i'm
the air.
And with many others, a habitat seeks
On flpe cherry lips, and soft peachy
checks.
It's easy transmitted. and then it i'm
parts
A virulent poison, which acts upon
The commonest way OF transmission is
The contagion is spread just by gir-
ing a kiss.
So when you are tempted by ripe rosy
lips
That look like a rosebud the honey
Dee sips
And faln would you give her a Ass
and hug.
Repress. youth. your ardor. remen-
Der this bug
And tell the sweet maiden the Doctors
That ardent caresses are no more TO
Explaining the danger which turks in
the kiss,
Teemem bring diseases. forgetting the
Do this, ardent youth. and If maidens
You'll soon be discarded for a lad
not so slow.
For a maid likes a lad not afraid OF
diseases.
Who Will bravely march up. and take
what he pleases.
Not enc who. when tempted, will say
70 her, nay,
BuA lad who will kiss her
in
the
same
old
The Washington times., 1907-09-15

years, she received the degree Of doc
tor of medicine in June. After complet-
ing her course she passed the Michigan
State board examination. Recently she
has been appointed inferno at the North
western Hospital for Women and Chill
dren, at Indianapolis. Ind. It is her
purpose to practice medicine ultimately
in Virginia, probably ct Norfolk.
Miss Humphreys possesses unusual
physical strength and endurance. She
mas a strong prediction for out-of-door
sports, such as lawn tennis, swimming,
rowing. hunting. and rambling. She re-
CARDS q walk OF fifteen miles as very
moderate exercise
Both Prof. Humphreys and Mrs. Hum
phreys were born in Virginia When
Miss Humphreys was BON her father
occupied the chair of Greek at Wander
bilt University He held the professor
ship of Latin and Greek at the Uni
versity. OF Texas. from 1858 to 1851. Miss
Humphreys grandfather. DR.. Garland,
was chancellor OF Vanderbilt from 1s75
until his death.
The Washington times., 1907-09-15
EDWARD c. BARsTOW-
AES TRIPLEX.

No doubt Loves lyrics warm the earth.
SiCilian melodies, No doubt
Soft, scented arms are things OF worth
To hem man about
No doubt soft kisses make life sweet:
With ease The primrose pathway lures
And Solomon's love with dancing feet
For ages aye enduFes!
Yet Christ's nailed hands they beckon
me,
and vaguely I can feel the urge
That sent Ulysses DER the sea,
Columbus through the surgel
Though Horace on hts farm derides.
The old Greeks hemlock cup discloses
There's something else in life besides
The women, vine. and rosesi
Ne heart grows big with nobler bear.
Ana IN my brain the one thought
sings:
I leave the lyric life 10 greet
The God OF Epic Things.
The Washington times., 1907-09-15
Some Queer Bait
Fishermen Use

4 ? o one except a fisherman or a
fly dresser has the faintest
" conception Of the enormous va
-is+,- - materials used IN the
The Washington times., 1907-09-15
EVERYBODY WORKS At MY HOUSE

It was a Chattanooga poet who ceIe.
brated New Years Day. when the anti
pass law went into effect:
sister Jane is walking,
So Is Brother VIII:
In fact, the whole Dam family,
Since Hepburn passed his bill"
The Washington times., 1907-09-15

By THOMAS FRANCIS o'REnLY.
II had my sole desire
Twould be to make your life sublime
I would look into your eyes OF blue
And ask you to be mine.
I'd tell you Of the future years
OF hope and JOY OF love most true
And ever by your side F6 be
To watch and care for you.
Oh Star Of Love. could YOU but shine
Your golden rays on me-
And were yours and you we're mine
How happy life would be.
And when we go 10 that Beyond
And cross the Great Divide
Our hearts and souls would sing the song.
I'm ever by your side
There are no trees upon this earth
Without their birds Of song
To ndTmoniZe ana bless our birth
As we both journey on.
The trees and flowers though greener, GRAY
All whisper your sweet name:
Though I met you here today
I love you just the same.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-06-13
French Peassnts, Odd business.

''In France. at this season." said a
bird dealer, 'the banks of the streams
are yellow with bonfires every night.
About the fires loaf peasants, men
and women, smoking, chatting and
spooning.
"They keep the blaze going all night,
and at dawn, behold! the ground is an
inch or two deep with May flies, fire.
flies, moths-little creatures that, ex.
pecting some unknown and divine sen.
sation, few out Of the darkness into
those clear and gemlike flames, fut-
tered forth again in agony. fell and
died.
THE tiny corpses are sold to the
French bird dealers at five or six
cents pint. and are resold for food to
the owners of pet birds. finches,
thrushes, canaries, nightingales and
the like"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-06-13
Made for Fat Men.

One of the narrow arches in the
gallery of the chapel at Columbia uni
versity is not exactly symmetrical, al
though the defect is not noticeable to
the casual observer, says the New
York Globe. The reason for the wild
ening of the arch after its original con-
struction had rise in somewhat
humorous occurrence. One of the
early visitors was remarkably fat
man, who found himself wedged into
the arch when he tried to squeeze
through and was extricated with diff
Guilty. The builders, recognizing the
possibility of other fat people being
numbered among the future visitors
decided to widen the arch, sacrificing
symmetry and harmony to practical
need, as the pier was so constructed
as to bear no loss of width on one OF
Its sides.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-06-13
AN OLD EDITOR
Found $4,000 Worth Of Food.

The editor of paper out In Okla,
said: Yes, it is true when got hold
of Grape-Nuts food. 1t was worth
more than a $4,000 doctor bill to me,
for 1t made me a well man. I have
gained rs pounds In weight. my
strength has returned tenfold. my
brain power has been given back TO
me, and that is an absolute essential,
for l am an editor and have been for
30 years.
MY pen shall always be ready to
speak good word for this powerful
nutritive food. | had of course often
"ead the advertisements regarding
Grape-Nuts, but never thought to ap-
ply the food to my own use, until, in
my extremity and sickness the thought
came to me that 1t might fit my case.
The statements In regard to the food
are absolutely correct, as have proven
in my own case. One very fortunate
thing about the food is that while.lt is
the most scientifically made and high
y nourishing, concentrated food have
aver known, 1t has so delicious taste
hat 1t wins and holds friends"
There's Reason" Read The Road
co MELVILLE" in pkgs.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-06-13
Memento for President piaz.

With simple but impressive cere.
mony President Diaz was presented
with the military painting portraying
the action of his command in the bat
tie of Puebla against the French
forces in the war of the invasion
The painting, which was the work OF
the artist Francisco de P. Mendoza, a
professor in the national school of fine
arts and of the military college, was
executed at the request of the gov.
ernors of IL Mexican states, and was
presented as a personal gift to the
chief magistrate. The painting repre-
sents Gen. Diaz in action in the glo
rious battle which won fame for the
Mexican forces, and at the moment
when the forces under the direct
command of Gen. Diaz saved the day
Mexican Herald.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-06-13
ECZEMA COVERED BABY.
fered Untold Misery--Perfect
Cure by Cuticura Remedies.

"My son, who is now twenty-five
years of age, when four months old
began to have eczema on his face,
spreading quite rapidly until he was
nearly covered. The eczema was some
thing terrible, and the doctors said 1t
was the worst case they ever saw. At
times his whole body and face were
covered, all but his feet. used many
kinds of patent medicines, to no avail.
A friend leased me to try Cuticura.
At last decided to try Cuticura when
my boy was three years and four
months old, having had eczema all that
time and suffering untold misery. l
began to use all three of the Cuticura
Remedies. He was better in two
months; in six months he was we'll.
Mrs. r. L. Risley, Piermont, N. H.,
Oct. "a, 1906"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-06-13
PAT SET ONLY ONE LIMIT.
Would Quit When He Was Done With
All Things Earthly.

A rich man out in the suburbs who
owns a large place has among the
many people employed to keep 1t in
shape an Irishman of whom he is par
ticularly fond on account of his un-
conscious wit, says Harper's Weekly.
This Irishman is something of hard
drinker, and, as his income is limited,
he is more particular as regards the
quantity than the quality Of his
liquids. The other day the employer,
who had been awaiting good oppor-
tunity, remarked in kind tone, as
the closing sentence of friendly lee
ture:
Now, Pat, how long do you think
you can keep on drinking this cheap
whiskey?"
To which Pat instantly replied:
"All my life. If it doesn't kill me-"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-06-13
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The Medicine That Makes Rich, Red
Blood and Performs Wonders as a
Tonic for the Nerves.

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The answer to that question explains
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It is because of the intimate relation
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