davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1907-01-02

bered that a Dutchman who took their trunk
from the hotel at Pittsburg was a deckSpas-
senger, and he was soon found and sub
poenaed as witness. His name was Deitz-
man, and being called to the stand he was
questioned as follows:
Counsel for Mrs. Jones-Mr DeitZman,
did you know the steamboat Buckeye?
Witness--Yaw. i vas pillow up NIT her..
CounselLWere you on board when the
witness-Yaas. vas on de poat ven de
piler bust. !
Counsel-Did you know Mr.. Jones, the
husband of this lady? (pointing to the plain
tiff. SE s
Witness-To pc sure know him., pring
his trunk de poat at Bittsburg.; and We
paid our passage togedder at der captains
Office &S54
Counsel--well, did he stay aboard; did
you see him on the boat at the time of the
explosion?
Witness-Nix didn't see Mr.. shones on
der poat at dat time.
Counsel for defense (eagerly)-So, he
wasn't on the Buckeye when the boiler ex
ploded, that you know Of?
witness didn't say dat.
Counsel with triumphant glance at the
jury)-What did you say then? When did
you last see Jones?
Witness--Vell, shtood by der shmoke
bipe ven der piler pust, and didn't see Mr..
Shones den but ven me and der shmoke
bipe vas goin' up in de air see Shones
coming down! OATS der last time l see
him.
This testimony being thought conclusive.
the jury gave Mrs. Jones verdict for
$4,000.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1907-01-02

"They won't trouble me with much Of
their society to-day" he told himself. TO-
Then he heard fathers step in the passage.
He isn't going to wait till tomorrow :"
he calculated. This impression was con-
hrmed when father sat down and fdgeted
with his moustache, and hesitated but he
did not begin as Uncle expected
I'VE want you to understand that our house
to be no talk of your leaving us. We should
be ungrateful wretches II we thought of
such thing. 1t isn't only that, either.
though I'm as grateful to you for the in
tention as IL you'd done 1t.
"Its-- You see, we've got used to
having you here, and-and you've trav-
eled a lot and you've got lot of adven--
lures to tell u.s.. you know, and that's all
rubbish about not believing them, because
we should never think of doubling you. We
should miss you out of our-our happy lit
to anything about your leaving u.s.
That's final, Uncle. Well, l must be
off. I'll get home early for chat We're
very glad to have you, remember"
Uncle wiped his forehead when father had
gone.
Hell soon change his tune" he OBJ
served, but he has, at any rate, a sense
of decency. He used to be kind hearted
little fellow when he was a boy. It's his
wife who's at the bottom of it, l suppose.
= few minutes later mother appeared:
She brought a tray with omelette and
toast and coffee. She could quite under
stand his not wanting breakfast she said:
but IL would worry her III he didn't eat IT.
So she was sure he would try
I'VE feel that we must take extra care
of you, Uncle" she explained, now that
you are troubled. But you need not worry
so much. because we shall make you very
comfortable here. l shall never forget the
Kindness that you intended.
THE furniture isn't very necessary to us
you know. You are necessary to us, and
you're going to stop with us, and--I am so
sorry for your loss, Uncle"
Uncles stern old face quivered when
mother had gone.
cit wasn't her doing" he said to him
self. She's knd-hearted woman and
IL / hadn't heard what they said with my
own ears-Come I'M"
Bob entered smiling cheerfully.
II thought you might be inclined to walk
down to the office with me-, he said, "just
for stroll. Beastly rough luck your
your news this morning Look here. I'm
Gle: want to tell you not to worry about
me-"
Bobs voice grew suddenly husky. and he
bolted. Uncle watched him through the
window as he strobe away.
There's good in the fellow" he groaned.
ut must have been Marian who was at the
bottom of it-Marian 70 He buried his face
in his hands, and did not hear Marians
soft knock, or know that she was in the
room till he felt her arms round his neck
and a wet cheek against his.
Uncle she whispered, Uncle deari
You haven't lost everything. You've still
your little niece
This time Uncle broke down completely.
1t was full minute before he recovered
sufficiently to wipe his face. They were
Marian's tears, he said; and she was very
man.
He repeated the latter statement at
luncheon. He had stupidity misread the let
ter, he told them and he hadn't lost his
fortune, but found-them!
So they are all very happy; and IL any
one is happier 1t is Uncle.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1907-01-02
THE VOICES THAT CAME TO
UNCLE.
(Conttnued from page y

CONTINUED from Pags5)
to mention when he made his final address
to them
He made the preliminary announcement
on the morning of the day which had been
appointed for his benefcence, standing up
at the breakfast table. and fourishing a
large blue envelope. and blowing his nose
furiQusly.
He had lost every farthing, he declared.
and couldn't even pay for his keep IL
they turned him away he must earn ssliv-
ing as a laborer-or go and shoot tigers
and lions for their skins-and he didn't
suppose they believed that he had ever shot
a tiger or a lion!
He stamped out of the room, growing to
himself, as IL he we're both, and took refuge
In the little study.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1907-01-02
A DUTCHMAN'S TESTIMONY IN
A STEAMBOAT CASE.

Several years ago the steamboat Buck
eye blew up on the Ohio river near Pitts
in the name of Mrs. Rebecca Jones lost
both her husband and her baggage. In
due time she brought suit against the own
ers of the boat for damages for the death
of her husband, as well as compensation for
the loss of her clothing. On trial the de-
tense denied everything. It was alleged that
Buckeye, and therefore he could not have
been killed or any clothing lost. The Jones
family being strangers In Pittsburg. where
cult to and any witnesses to prove that the
missing man was actually on board or that
he was killed. Finally Mrs. Jones remem-
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1907-01-02
THE IRISHMAN'S PANORAMA.
By ]. S. Burdett.

Ladies and Gintlemen-In the foreground
over there you'll observe Vinegar Hill, and
her. Says she to him: James, it's
shame for yer to be ratin' me so! Yer
moind the time yer come to me fathers
wolfe? shSre yer could shtand ON the OUT
SIDE stick yer arm down the chimney, pick
peraties out o. the pot and niver par
should yer be goin' by that way some day
foind at the fut o. the hill a nate little cot
kept by man named McCarty, who, be the
way, is as foine lad as you'll mate In a
that McCartys out, or I'd take yez in an
introduce yer. A foine, noble. ginerous fell
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1907-01-02

l went into Stanley's the other day and
saw a friend of mine seated at table with
lady. She had false hair, false teeth,
glass eye and wooden pedal. My friend
says LET me introduce you to my wife,"
/ took him aside and speaking in an under
tone, said How could you ever marry
such a looking woman? l see that she, has
false teeth, false hair, and a glass eye" He
says: Speak out. my boy, she's deaf. too"
Jack Norworth.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1907-01-02

One day / went to Washington to see IL
! couldn't get an appointment from Pres-
dent Roosevelt. Well he told me there was
nothing vacant. / strolled along the banks
man floating in the river. recognized him
as Waterman in the treasury building.
/ hurried to the President, told him of the
You're too late. I've just appointed the
man that saw him fall in."-George Thatch-
or
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1907-01-02

man arrested for murder bribed an
Irishman on the jury with hundred dol
ter. The man rushed up to the Irish juror
and said, I'm obliged to you, my friend.
Did you have a hard timer" YES" said
the freshman. THE other eleven wanted to
acquit yer"
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1907-01-02

Jew boy enters grocery store and says
to the clerk: "Take this order. Ten lbs.
sugar at cents, IL lbs coffee at 20 cents,
8 lbs tea at 80 cents. Add that up. How
much is it?'
Clerk-"Five dollars" .
Boy--"Are you sure?'
Clerk-"Of course I'm sure"
Boy-"Thanks. That's my arithmetic
lesson for Tomorrow"
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1907-01-02

did you ever notice the difference be-
tween German picnic and an Irish picnic !!
The Germans meet at the hall and march
right out to the picnic. Do the Irish do that
Not on your life They've got to march
around town about three hours. every man
house,. w. Kelly.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1907-01-02

my brother is an / prize-hghter. He's
won over. thirty battles"
That's nothing. I've got brother that
puts them all to Sleep"
"Is your brother a prize-hghter?"
mo. He's a preacher."-Smith Camp
bell.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1907-01-02

There is a well-known saloon in Brook
lyn which has three entrances. Casey en-
ters and the bartender refuses to serve him
because he is intoxicated. After an argu-
ment Casey leaves the saloon and soon
and looks at the bartender with consider
able surprise and again calls for drink and
is again refused. He leaves, but soon comes
back through the third entrance. He walks
up to the bar unsteadily and looking the
bartender in the face says disgustedly !:
Say do you own all the saloons in town.
u. w. Kelly.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1907-01-02

Judge-''What's your occupation?"
Mike--"Im sailor"
Judge-"You don't look like q sailor.
/ don't believe you were ever on ship"
Mike-"Do you think l came from Ire
land In hack MARK Murphy.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1907-01-02

"A man stole harness the other day
and never left a trace."-John T. Ray.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1907-01-02

my friend Casey had a friend named
Sullivan, who was very sick, and there
was one else available Casey told the
physician that he would sit up with him.
Well, the doctor told Casey to administer a
powder at 10 o'clock and to give him just
what he could get on dime and no more.
He took dime from his pocket and showed
Casey the necessary portion and cautioned
him against giving an overdose. Casey said
he understood and the doctor left-of course
without leaving the dime. The next morn
ing when he called he found the man dead.
He said to Casey, Did you give him the
dose / prescribed? Casey said, OF course
/ did. / didn't have a dime so put 1t on
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1907-01-02

Are your folks well to dot"
mo. They're hard to do."-Cook &
Sonora.
II saw a man yesterday with deaf and
dumb sign So l gave him a nickel. He
said: Thank YOU / said, / thought you
were deaf and dumb. oh he said, I'm
only minding this place till the other fell
low comes back Well where is the other
fellow? ! asked oh, he's over in the beer
garden listening to the music. Ward G
Curran.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1907-01-02

I'VE have German bands and French
bands and American bands, but you never
hear of an Irish band. You couldn't have
one. Every man would want to be leader"
j. W. Kelly
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1907-01-02

New foreman-"What are you doin' there,
RAFFERTY,"
Rafferty-"Tm oilin' the wheelbarrow."
New foreman-"Well, lave IL alone. I'll
do 1t meself. What do you know about
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1907-01-02

Levi Cohen went to Rockaway Beach for
the salt water bathing. He decided he
wouldn't plunge into the surf for a few
days SO he walked down to the beach with
bucket and asked the man who had charge
of the life-boat what II would cost for a lit
tie salt water SO he could take sponge
bath at the bath house. The man sized
Cohen up for an easy mark and told him
20 cents a pail Cohen paid the quarter
and started Off with the bucket of water.
The next morning he appeared again on the
beach. bucket in hand. The tide was out
about 700 feet Cohen turned to the man
and said Vat Dizziness you are doing"
j. w. Ransome.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1907-11-01
,auslcAL NEWS ITEM.

"Nymphs O. the Mist" is the title
OF a new instrumental piano piece just
issued from tn press OF the Tolbert
r. Ingram Music company OF Denver,
Colorado. 1t is an ocean Characters
tic and gives promise of becoming one
of the big musical hits of the season,
possessing all of that weird charm,
both in rhymth and melody that the
ocean induces. Those who have heard
II say that 1t is one of the most orig
inal numbers published in a long
time
Hiawatha, AnoLa and other $50
called) Indian musical numbers have
had the public attention for several
years, but the ocean which offers so
much for musical and poetic magma
ton, has, for some unaccountable rea-
son, been sighted, "Nymphs o the
Mist" is the forerunner OF the best
of the popular In this class and Its
popularity is already assured. 1t Is
said to be an excellent number, botr
for parlor and teaching purposes.
IL your dealer is out of 1t, ask hin
to order it, or 1t will be sent direc
by the publisher on receipt OF q
cents
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1907-11-01
"BOO-HOO"
Shouts a Spanked Baby.

such as white bread. potatoes. rice.
partly cooked cereals and such.
Starchy food is not digested in the
upper stomach but passes on into the
duodenum, or lower stomach and in
testines, where, in a healthy individ-
ual, the transformation of the starch
into a form of sugar is completed and
then the food absorbed by the blood.
But If the powers of digestion are
weakened, a part of the starchy food
will lie in the warmth and moisture or
the body and decay. generating gases
and irritating the mucous surfaces UNI
til under such conditions the whole
lower part of the alimentary canal, in
Guiding the colon and the appendix,
becomes involved. Disease sets up
and at times takes the form known as
appendicitis.
When the symptoms of the trouble
make their appearance, would 1t not
be good, practical, common sense, to
discontinue the starchy food which is
causing the trouble and take a. food
| in which the starch has been trans
| formed into form of sugar in the
| process of manufacture?
This is identically the same form of
sugar found in the human body after
starch has been perfectly digested.
| Now, human food is made up very
| largely of starch and is required by
| the body for energy and warmth.
Naturally, therefore, its use should be
continued, If possible, and for the rea-
sons given above 1t Is made possible
in the manufacture of Grape-Nuts.
In connection with this change of
food to bring relief from physical dis
turbanees, we have suggested washing
out the intestines to get rid of the i'm
mediate cause of the disturbance
Naturally, there are cases where the
disease has lain dormant and the
abuse continued too long. until APP
parently only the knife will avail. But
it is weil-established fact among the
: best physicians who are acquainted
: with the details above recited, that
preventative measures are far and
away the best.
Are we to be condemned for suggest
| ing way to prevent disease by fol-
lowing natural methods and for per.
: fecting food that contains no 'medi-
I cine" and produces no medicinal eff.
feets' but which has guided literally
8 thousands OF persons from sickness to
a health? We have received during the
e years past upwards of Is 900 letters
/ from people who have been either
helped or made entirely well by fol
n lowing our suggestions, and they are
E. simple
A. II coffee disagrees and causes AM
n OF the ailments common to some COT
e. fee users quit It and take on Postum
Il IL white bread, potatoes, rice ant
~ other starch foods make trouble, qui
and use Grape-Nuts food which 1
IL largely predigested and will digest
J.. nonrish and strengthen, when ofhe
forms of food do not. It's Just plat
IL old common sense.
IS "rh pres Reason for Postum an
I'll Nuts.
Postum Cereal Co. Ltd.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1907-11-01
Tin Mines In Malaga.

A correspondent from the Malay
peninsula states that the projected
railway from Hongkong will be likely
to traverse the rich mineral regions
of Siamese Malaga. Lang Suan has a
tin supply that cannot be exhausted
in a hundred years to come, while the
same may be said of Renang There
are 20 mines in the region of Lang
Suan. most of which are worked by
natives, but the European concessions
in the latter place. as well as in Re
nang. are exceptionally encouraging
and already are giving excellent re
turns. There is no lack of capital
even the natives making themselves
better acquainted with modern ma
chinery and bringing It into use.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1907-11-01
The Lions share.

A new novel by Octave Thanet,
the author of "The Man of the Hour"
has just been published by the
Bobbs- Merrill company, of Indianap-
oils. The title of the new novel is
"The Lions Share" and 1t is an at
tack upon the ruthlessness Of our
modern captains of finance, empha-
sizing the families made homeless,
the women reduced to starvation or
worse, and the men driven to suicide
through the Straightforward maniINila-
ton OF stocks by the great captains
of finance. A case of kidnapping. a
train robbery and the San Francisco
earthquake disaster are among the
occurrences chronicled in the action
of the story, and the plot is an intri
cate one, keeping the reader guess
ing until the final chapter. 1t Is ar
interesting story of the present time
OF real everyday people, and is wei
worth the reading.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1907-11-01
ALL THINGS IN PROPORTION.
Invalid's Meal Evidently Had Not In
creased Good Humor.

For many weeks the irritable mer-
chant had been riveted to his bed by
typhoid fever. Now he was conva-
lescing. He clamored for something
to eat, declaring that he was starv-
ing.
Tomorrow you may have some
thing to eat" promised the doctor.
The merchant realized that there
would be restraint to his. appetite,
yet he saw. in vision, modest, steam
ing meal placed at his bedside.
Here is your dinner. said the
nurse next day, as she gave the glow
ering patient spoonful of tapioca
pudding, and the doctor emphasizes
that everything else you do must be
in the same proportion"
Two hours later the nurse heard q
frantic call from the bed chamber.
Nurse" breathed the man heapily
IT want to do some reading, bring me
a postage stamp"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1907-11-01
RelIlna : BAT.

You have probably read or heard
that the best way to rid house OF
rats is to catch one and fasten bell
about its neck. A boy in. Delaware
tried the experiment two months ago
He was badly bitten in making the
bell fast, but he turned the rat loose
and expected the tinkling of that bell
would have great results. 1t did have.
In the first place, the rat who wore 1t
was constantly ON the move all night,
and the tinkling bell kept the family
awake, and in the next the sounds
brought scores of new rats to the
house. Instead Of being afraid OF the
bell, they were charmed with the mu
sic. Had the boy tied a harmonica
to another rats tail, the rodents would
have had a dance every night.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1907-11-01

DDS, has not made itself more ridicu-
lous than any comment of ours could
make 1t.
Does Golfers expect to regain any
self-inflicted loss of prestige by de-
monstrating thru suits for damages,
that 1t can be more artful in evading
liability for libels than the humble
but resentful victims of its defamation,
or does 1t hope for starting campaign
of libel suits to silence the popular in
dignation, reproach and resentment
which it has aroused.
Golfers can not dodge this public
controversy by private law suits. 1t
can not postpone the public judgment
against it. That great jury, the Pub
| lie, will hardly blame us for not wait
| ing until We get petit jury in court
room, before denouncing this prod
| igal detractor of institutions founded
and fostered either by individuals or
by the public, itself.
No announcements during our entire
business career were ever made
claiming medicinal effects for either
Postum or Grape-Nuts. Medicinal eff
fects are results obtained from the
use Of medicines.
Thousands of visitors go thru our
entire works each month and see for
themselves that Grape-Nuts contains
absolutely nothing but wheat, barley
and a little salt; Postum absolutely
nothing but wheat and about ten per
cent of New Orleans Molasses. The
art of preparing these simple ele
ments in a scientific manner to obtain
l. the best food value and flavor, re
J quired some work and experience tt
acquire.
Now, when any publication goes ia
enough out of its way to attack us be
( cause our advertising is medical"
| simply offers a remarkable exhibition
4 of ignorance or worse.
+ We do claim physiological or bodil,
results of favorable character follow
It ing the adoption of our suggestions II
o garding the discontinuance of coffe
s and foods which may not be keepin
If the individual in good health. w
s. have no advice to offer the perfect
e healthful person. His or her healt
is is evidence in itself that the beve
d ages and foods used exactly fit thu
S person. Therefore. why change?
N But to the man OF woman who
ailing, we have something to say as
ot result of an unusually wide experiens
a in food and the result of proper fee
ing.
'" In the palpably ignorant attack
II. as in Golfers, appeared this stat
lis ment,-"One widely circulated par
9" graph labors to induce the impressi,
that Grape-Nuts will obviate the 4
.e- cessity of an operation in appen,
eitis. This is lying and potential
no deadly lying"
rs In reply to this exhibition of-wl
ng let the reader name 1t, the Postum G
at. says:
tic Let 1t be understood that appen
se citis results from long continued 4
Ter turbanee IN the fntestines. caused n
III marily by undigesled. .ata-eh-----
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1907-11-01
a hamilton OF sueeess.

How. have the hypothetical scsen-
lists and the exponents OF unbelier
benefited themselves or humanity at
large by sowing the seeds of doubt
broadcast in the world? The real sci
entists do not fall in this category. for
thew are believers in the real sense OF
the word: they know too much, they
have seen too many mysterious mani
festations of the Divine creative pow
err Now, those who have disposed OF
the Bible and all evidences Of -inspira-
ton, have written a great many books
and some of them have won what the
world at large lightly calls fame. Ac-
cord4ng to the ordinary measures that
are applied In such cases, they have
been extremely successful. but real
success means the benefit of human
ity in some form or other. If nc. such
benefits can be shown as the result OF
their labors, their success Is not equal
to that achieved by the direst poverty
and the deepest ignorance. ~ Joel
Chandler, in Uncle Remus' Magazine
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1907-11-01
held up.

stop" shouted the man on the
country road, holding up warning
hand. Muttering something about
rural cops. the automobilist ooeyed.
Turn around and come back 70
town with me-" said the stranger
You were going at least S5 miles an
hour"
You're a constable, suppose, SAID
the automobilist, with a covert sneer'
when they had reached the village.
'7de?" replied the passenger. no
I'm a farmer and had to come into
town when all the teams was busy
Nice growing weather? Thanks. COCO
by"
Ensuing comment is purposely omit
ted.-Philadelphia Public Ledger.