davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Yale expositor., 1907-10-18
BABY WASTED TO SKELETON.
In Torments with Terrible Sores on
Face and Body-Tore at Flesh
Cured by Cutlcura.

my little son, when about a year
and a half old began to have sores
come out on his face. They began to
come on his arms, then on other parts
of his body. and then one came on his
chest, worse than the others. At the
end of about a year and half of suf-
fering he grew so bad had TO tie his
hands in cloths at night to keep him
from scratching the sores and tearing
the flesh. He got to be a mere skele-
ton and was hardly able to walk
sent TO the drug store and got a cake
of Cuticura Soap and box of Cuticura
Ointment, and at the end of about two
months the sores were all well. He
has never had any sores of any kind
since, and only for the Cuticura Rem
edies my precious child would have
died from these terrible sores. l used
only one cake Of Soap and about three
boxes Of Ointment. Mrs. Egbert Shell
don, r. F. ID. No. 1, Woodville, Conn,
April %, 1906"
The Yale expositor., 1907-10-18
SEEK TO WIN SOLDIERS.
Russian Girls Risk Life for the Cause
of Liberty.

when the university opened last
autumn l started to work again
among the soldiers" said the young
woman. "As you know, the revolu-
tionists are at present working very
hard to win over the army, and one
of the means is to talk freedom di-
rectly to the soldiers. For this girls
have been found to be more effective
than men; the young peasant soldiers
are more willing to listen to girls,
and are far reader TO protect them
from arrest. So all over Russia hun
dreds and hundreds of girls are now
nightly meeting with groups of sol
diers, in working mems homes and in
barracks. To go into barracks and
talk revolution to the soldiers, hard
ly anything is so dangerous-for the
girl caught is tried by court-martial
and in a day or two is executed
From Leroy SCOTS Interview with
Russian Woman, in Everybody's.
The Yale expositor., 1907-10-18
QUALITIES OF WIT AND HumoR.
Alike, Yet in Many Ways Fundament-
ally Different.

Wit and humor are such elemental
fundamental things that it has always
been found difficult to analyze them,
says a writer in The Atlantic. Upon
some points. however, those who have
essayed this puzzling task agree, for
they all hold that wit is an intel
leetual, humor an emotional, quality;
that wit is a perception of resem-
blaRce. and humor a perception of
contrast, of discrepancy, of incongru-
ity. The incongruity is that which
arises between the ideal and the fact,
between theory and practice, between
promise and performance; and per-
haps it might be added that it is al
ways or almost always a moral in
congruity. In the case both of wit
and humor there is also a pleasurable
surprise, a gentle shock, which ac-
companies our perception of the hith-
ertO unsupported resemblance or in
coRgruity. A New England farmer
was once describing in the pres
ence of a very humane person the
great age and debility of horse that
he formerly owned and used. You
ought to have killed him." interrupt
ed the humane person Indignantly.
Well" drawled the farmer I'VE did
-aluoOst "
The Yale expositor., 1907-10-18
CURING A WILL
By Margaret johnson
Copyright. by Joseph B. Bowles.)

she glanced toward him, and chuckled
to himself.
She's a cute one-Sylvy!" he NUT
tered under his breath. She en- man.
age if anyone CAM"
"And-what can you do?" Sylvia
went on, gayly. You can't make her
anything, because you're sick. But
oh, suppose you were to eat up all
your bread and milk before she comes
upstairs! Wouldn't that be a sur
prise for her!"
Il said | wouldn't, and / can't" she
said in her little weak but resolute
voice, shutting her eyes upon the
tempting cushion.
And father" Sylvia went on. not
noticing, what do you think he could
do-to please mother? l know some.
thing-something that she wants
ever and ever so much. He could put
a pump lin the kitchen for her!
Wouldn't she like that"
"Wh-what." gasped the squire
gripping the arms of his chair, and
half rising in his amazement
He said he wouldn't and he
WON'T" murmured Jane, an odd little
smile puckering her pale lips
"Oh, yes. he will" said Sylvia, light
ly and confidently. ITO please mother
on her birthday. Just because he
thought he didn't want to do it once
he wouldn't stop for that! Why, he
can change his mind, can't hep"
The squire cleared his throat ster-
toriously. crossed and uncrossed his
legs, and finally got up and walked to
the window, running his fingers
The Yale expositor., 1907-10-18
RHEUMATISM RECIPE
PREPARE SIMPLE HOMEMADE
MIXTURE YOURSELF.
Buy the Ingredients from Any Drug
gist in Your Town and Shake
Them in a Bottle to
Mix This.

A well-known authority on Rheu-
matism gives the readers of large
New York daily paper the following
valuable, yet simple and harmless
prescription, which any one can easily
prepare at home:
Fluid Extract Dandelion, one-half
ounce; compound Kargon, one ounce;
Compound Syrup Sarsaparllla, three
ounces.
Mix by shaking we'll in a bottle, and
take a teaspoonful after each meal
and at bedtime.
He states that the ingredients can
be obtained from any good prescrip-
ton pharmacy at small cost, and, be-
ing vegetable extraction, are harm
less to take.
This pleasant mixture, If taken reg
ularly for few days, is said to over
come almost any case of Rheumatism.
The pain and swelling, if any, dimin-
ishes with each dose, until permanent
results are obtained, and without in
juring the stomach. While there are
many so-called Rheumatism remedies,
patent medicines. etc, some of which
do give relief, few really give perma-
nent results. and the above will, no
doubt, be greatly appreciated by many
sufferers here at this time.
Inquiry at the drug stores of even
the small towns ELECTS the information
that these drugs are harmless and can
be bought separately, or the druggists
will mix the prescription if asked to.
The Yale expositor., 1907-10-18
A REAL "Hoss" RACE.
Country Fair the Place to See 1t at
Its Best.

II you would see a horse strap
ped, booted, braced and geared to
the limit, you must seek such a
track as you see at the old-time
country fair. Here comes an awk-
ward flea-bitten gray which never
went under 2:50 in his life. He is
hobbled and checked and goggled, and
hitohed up sidewise, lengthwise and
crosswise until there is more har-
ness than horse. You wonder how
his driver ever got him into this rig
ging, and how he will get him out
again without cutting him free with
q jackknife. A farmer with Il
gray beard and twinkling eye OBJ
seryos to his neighbor:
Last time John Martin had that
plug out on the road l told him he
had the old cripple overloaded with
Observation-Disclosures. Them straps
that was callated to hoist up his
knees must ha' pulled too tight and
the critter was yanked clean off the
ground. What John was gettin'
ready for was a race for flyin' ma
chimes. not a boss trot."-From "The
Country Fair" by David Lansing, in
Outing
The Yale expositor., 1907-10-18
Didn't Need cyclepedias.

The canvasser for cyclopedia
came to the home of a colonel, whose
record he had carefully studied be.
fore his visit. The colonel was es-
peeially proud of some of his sons,
so the canvasser began with:
"Those are very fine boys of yours,
colonel"
They are" replied the colonel.
Il reckon you are ready to buy any
thing those boys want?"
Il am So" said the father of the
fine boys.
well, then, let me sell you this
cyolopedia There's nothing will do
your sons so much good"
But the colonel looked at him
aghast. ''Why, them lads of mine
don't need any cyclopedia They ride
mulesi"
The Yale expositor., 1907-10-18
Not a Hit as an Improviser.

did you ever hear anybody impro-
vise?' he asked.
NO." said she, and he sat down to
the piano and improvised for about an
hour and half. At the end of that
time he turned around, his face full
of expression, and said to her:
What do you think of it?"
Lovely" she exclaimed. "Beauti-
full! l never heard anything like it,"
But this is what she said to the hall
boy when he was gone:
IF that long, lank lunatic who i'm
provises asks for me again, you tell
him / am out"
The Yale expositor., 1907-10-18
a Younu COMPOSER,

Rachel, aged -, wrote an compo-
sition on wild flowers in which she
praised the arbutus, the liverwort,
the spring beauty, the blood root, and
all Of the other blossoms of dell and
dale. But she wrote on both sides
of her sheet of paper, and when she
asked her father, who was an editor,
to publish her article, he called her
attention to that fact.
you've written on both sides of
your paper" said he.
Well was the reply, "and don't
you print on both sides of yours?"
The Yale expositor., 1907-10-18
Man Whose Memory Was Bad.

For more than an hour a witness
for the defense had lodged questions.
His faulty memory was particularly
exasperating for the counsel for the
plaintiff, who was seeking to recall
to the witness recollection an event
of four of five years previous. Event
ually the man remembered some
thing about it,"
"Ah," continued the lawyer for the
plaintiff, what id you think of it
at the timer"
Really" said the witness, speak
ing before the lawyer for the defense
had time to interpose objection, lit
was so long ago cant recall exactly
what l thought of it,"
We'll" shouted the cross-examin-
err, eXcitedly. 'if you can't recall, tell
us what you think now you thought
then"
The Yale expositor., 1907-10-18
"shall We, Jane-Win Your"

through his gray hair till it stood on
end in a confusion that matched the
chaos of his thoughts
III tell you what we'll do" Sylvia
went on, gayly. You can do what
father can, can't you? If he says he'll
put the pump in. you'll eat up your
! bowl of bread and milk, and then well
have two beautiful surprises for moth.
er. Shall we, Jane-will you?"
! She bent closer to the child, who re-
sponded to the magnetism OF her
merry eyes with feeble laugh of won
| der and assent
Come, Uncle Lemuel!" cried the
girl You'll do it, won't your"
IF he says he will, he will, and if he
says he won't. he won't"
Little James weak voice, with its
old note of whimsical amusement,
chanted the familiar words, hoarsely,
unconsciously. Its weakness and
hoarseness went to the squire's stub
born old heart. He wavered under
Syiyia's compelling glance.
"Eh!" said the squire, suddenly.
w N.Y. yes, vi COuISt L III II.
Yes, to be sure!"
Yes, to be sure he'll do it," re-
peated Sylvia, smiling, and taking the
medicine glass from the table. Jane
turned her head on the pillow with a
soft sigh. Her tense little body
seemed to relax all over, and her lips
opened obediently as Sylvia held the
spoonful of medicine to them.
Now a little bread and milk" said
the girl, softly. you shall look at
the cushion while you eat it. And
won't mother be pleased"
Two or three nights later, he and
his wife sat together silently in the
sitting-room after tea when Sylvia
came. Luke was upstairs playing
with little Jane, who was sitting up in
bed and getting well fast
Uncle Lemuel," said Sylvia, I'm
afraid | was naughty the other day
about the-pump. But it was all just
for little James sake, you know. 1t
flashed over me all at once that she
would do what you did-shes such
little monkey for imitating-and she
loves you so; and IL was really the
only way to manage her just then.
But of course you needn't do 1t, you
know-unless-unles you want tot"
"Of course mott" said the squire.
explosively; certainly notl When /
say thing, stick to ii. You meant
well, Sylvy, and won't say as you
were wrong, s'longs it's turned out
the way it has, but / give my word
you understand, about that matter.
and that's ALL" His voice fell at little,
and he stopped abruptly.
But, Uncle Lemuell" cried Sylvia
He put her aside with his hand.
ITO little Jane" he finished, still
looking at his wife. II give my word
to little Jane, and that's all there is
about 1t. Lucy. which side the kitch-
en- sink would you ruther hev that
pump"
The Yale expositor., 1907-10-18
Cats as Plaque Preventive.

An Italian correspondent of the
North China Daily News writes: The
newspapers have latterly been full OF
all sorts of suggestions for the stamp
ing out of plague. For instance, never
kill rats; if you do the fatal rat flea
may be driven to feed on you. Also.
compel each householder to keep
cats. In fact, let the cult of the cat
as it prevailed in ancient Egypt be re-
vived in India. Plenty of cats, no
rats"
The Yale expositor., 1907-10-18
Reason This Out

An English quarryman was charged
with assaulting one of his mates, and
when the case was carried into court,
an eyewitness of the occurrence gave
some curious evidence.
HE TUX pick an he tux a pick"
the witness began. IAN he hit him
wild his pick, an he hit him wild his
pick; an If he'd hit him wild his as
hard as he hit him wild his, he'd have
near killed him, and not him him."
The Yale expositor., 1907-10-18
Deafness Cannot Be Cured

by local applications they cannot reach the dis
eased portion OF the ear There IS only way 10
cure deafness, and that Is by constitutional remedies
Deafness Is caused by an iDhamed condition Of the
mucous lining of the Eustachan Tube. When this
tube IA inhamed You have rumbling sound OF i'm
perfect hearing, and when IL Is entirely closed Deaf
ness s the result and unless the Inflammation can be
taken out and this tube restored to its normal cOnd
tion, hearing will be destroyed forever nine cases
out OF ten are caused by Catarrh. which f. nothing
bot an nhamed condition OF the mucous surfaces
We Will give One Hundred Dollars for any case OF
Deafness lcaused by catarrh) that cannot be cured
by Halls Catarrh Cure Send for circulars. free.
+. j. CHENEY d CO., Toledo, O.
Sold by Druggists. 75c.
Take Hairs Family Pills for constipation.
The Yale expositor., 1907-10-18
EXcusahle.

II suppose" remarked the coy widow
chat you are an advocate of early
marriages."
"oh, yes, l am" replied the scanty
haired bachelor.
Then" continued the C. w, "why
is it you are still a bachelor?"
That's quite another matter" an
swered the Bachelor. THE only mar
riages l believe in are early ones. be-
cause there is some excuse for youth
full follies. Chicago News.
The Yale expositor., 1907-10-18
Bible Names for Colts.

A hostler from the Blue Grass has
just found employment in one of the
stables of a New York man. His
darky dialect is so quaint and his
stories of "Ole Kaintuck" so unique
no member of the household misses
an opportunity to speak to him and
have him say a word.
His employer said to him a few
days ago: Il suppose your mas
ter down south had a good many
horses?"
Dat we did. sab, dat we did! And
my ole master had EN- all name
Bible names. Faith, Hope and Char.
ity, Bustle, Stays and Crinoline, was
all one Springs colts!"
The Yale expositor., 1907-10-18
Peculiar Ice Cave.

A summer attraction in Colebrook,
n. H., is the ice cave" in Dixville
notch. This cave is formed by a fls-
sure in the ledge of the mountain
that fills with snow in winter, and is
protected from the suns rays at all
seasons.
The Yale expositor., 1907-10-18
Mr.. MaIaprop Just Home from Romo,

mr. mdldpTop JUST nome from homot
A regular Mr.. Malaprop recently
came home from his first visit TO Eu-
rope. He grew enthusiastic about
Rene.
1T was fine" he declared, ito go
see the old tombs-cigarroph
they call 'em. And then the Six
teen chapel is great, and as for the
Vaccination, where the pope lives,
Well"
But his stock of compliments give
out when he got TO the subject OF
beggars.
Il always refused them pennies"
he said, because, you see, | didn't
want to set a bad prestige."
The Yale expositor., 1907-10-18
What's in a Name?

"Old Amy, you know, who is famous
for being arrested, has been sent to
Jail again. But as she weighs nearly
300 pounds and is a good fighter, it
took nearly all the reserve force to get
her in the wagon"
Then. the magistrate who sent her
to Jail ought to be arrested, too"
why so?"
Didn't he commit big Amy?"-Bal
timore American.
The Yale expositor., 1907-10-18

from kidney trou-
bles. My back panied
me terribly. Every
turn or move caused
sharp, s h DO til g
pains. My eyesight
was poor, dark spots
appeared before me,
and / had dizzy
The Yale expositor., 1907-10-18
Saw Il Come Out of a Cow.

A little city boy and his sister Dor
othy were taken to the country for
the first time.
The two children were happy as
the day was long. In the late after
noon they watched the cows come
home, heard with delight the tink-
ling cow-bellse and the little boy
even went in the barns to see the
milking done.
At supper, just as Dorothy was
lifting her glass to her rosy lips, the
boy cried out:
"Oh, Dorothy. DON'T You mustn't
drink that milk. It's not fit to drink.
1t came out of a COW. ! saw it,"
The Yale expositor., 1907-10-18

Spells. For ten years / could not do
homework. and for two years did not
get out of the house. The Kidney Sc
cretions were irregular, and doctors
were not helping me. Doan's Kidney
Pills brought me quick relief, and
finally cured me. They saved my life"
Sold by all dealers. so cents a box.
Foster-Millburn Co.. Buffalo, N. Y.
The Yale expositor., 1907-10-18
Well Qualified.

$50 you want the position of ad-
vance agent for our circus?" inter-
rogated the manager. well, we need
a man who can ftir up some life
everywhere he goes" That's me,
boss" fastened the applicant Had
any experience in stirring up life?"
"Yeu bet! usoI to drive a street
sweeper and stirred up millions Of
germs every day."
The Yale expositor., 1907-10-18
Bush Over Buried Treasure.

There is tradition in Germany
that it was customary in the Middle
Ages TO put an elderberry plant over
buried treasure. A farmer at Gels
dorf while blowing close to such a
bush unearthed vessel containing
2,3ee silver coins of the eleventh CEN
tury
The Yale expositor., 1907-10-18

He is great who confers the most
benefits. He is base-and that is the
one base thing in the universe-to re-
ceiye favors and render none.-Emer-
com
The Yale expositor., 1907-10-18
TEN YEARS OF PAIN.
Unable to Do Even Homework Be.
cause of Kidney Troubles.

Mrs. Margaret Emmerich, of Clin-
ton ST., Napoleon, o., says: For
fifteen years l was a great sufferer
The Yale expositor., 1907-10-18
Imnortant 20 Moth .r..

A woman has lost her chief attrac.
ton for a man when he ceases to won
der what she will do next.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1907-03-13
MACHINE ADMINISTERS
THAT PRATT ANT|D0TE

A hint Of the way in which the
city hall machine is likely to ar
rive when oiled and started was
given last night in the election o:
Arthur B. Baines to fill out the UNI
expired term of the late H. G.. Slim
nell.
AS pointed out in The Press sew
eral days ago, Baines was fixed on
as the choice of the machine.
Courtesy demanded that a republi-
can be replaced by a republican,
and in Baines the machine had a
man who filled this requirement
and added another democratic vote
on every test. In that he Is the
same sort of republican that
Pratt is Daggett democrat.
BY placing Baines on the council
the machine furnished the novel
spectacle of electing its man, os-
tensibly a republican, by demo-
cratic votes alone. AS a sideshow
attraction the three republicans,
Estep, Horn and Phillips, with
Pratt, voted for Dana Childs, demo
crat. Brown, Baldwin, Gray, Lau-
mer and Funk stood solid for
Baines.
The test followed the reading of
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1907-03-13

appropriate resolutions of respect
to the deceased councilman. AS
representative of the Third ward,
EsteD then nominated w. B. Rob-
erts for the vacancy. Roberts is a
republican and except for Phillips
second the nomination was received
with ominous silence. 1t was
broken by Baldwin automatically
asking il Roberts was the ward s
choice. Estep was not certain that
the whole ward wanted him, but
many leading republicans did, he
said.
That was all the good it did
Estep and his leading republicans.
President Funk innocently asked il
there were any other nominations,
and Baldwin promptly supplied
Baines. Brown furnished a second.
Then it was that Estep tried to stop
the cars by springing Dana Childs.
announced as sterling democrat.
But he didn't grade in the sterling
class with a demo-republicrat when
the machine was behind the same
Baines' term runs till May II, when
the place will be permanently fill
ed by the regular election.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1907-03-13
G|SlATURE ENDS
TOMORROW

OLYMPIA, March 13-TOmorrOw
is the last day of the legislative SEES
sion and the indications are that
the long order of business that con-
fronted the body two months ago
will have been practically cleaned
up when final adjournment is taken.
A number of minor measures ana
state revenue bills remain for con-
sideration in both houses, but the
direct primary and districting bills
were about all left on which there
was any serious fight and these
have been disposed of.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1907-03-13

the corner of Riverside av. and
Howard st. was presented to the
council last night. On motion of
Councilman Estep, w. w. p. guard
ian in the council, the matter was
referred to the committee Of the
whole. When the coop" was first
placed in position two weeks ago
the company was arrogant about IL
and set it in on the sidewalk so
that people had to walk around It.
AS days passed the company edged
it bit by bit off the sidewalk until
now almost the whole of it Is in the
street. The council granted the
company permission to put the
coop" where it is with the under,
standing that it should be removed
any time the council SO ordered.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1907-03-13
GAN 7 IMPROVE
CLIFF ~.

The prosecuted Cliff park mil
lionaires wear broad smiles today,
They've been snatched like brands
from the burning. Geraghty
snatched 'em. Last night they all
attended the council meeting and
registered a kick about being as
sessed like ordinary mortals for a
street grade on Cliff av. Their
kick was that the road would not
benefit them because it was built
on the cliff back of their back
doors and they would need balloons
instead of automobiles to reach the
thoroughfare; also that the whole
"dinged" proceeding was unconsti-
tutional, likewise unrfghteous and
shameful.
Then Corporation Counsel Ger
agility came bravely to the rescue
with an opinion that the petition
asking that this street be i'm
proved had not the required three
fourths Of the property owners
signed to 1t and that the council
had not passed a resolution order
ing the board to prepare plans. Bur
the plans and petition were sent to-
gether to the council and the work
was ordered. The rule Is to ire
solve" first that the petition be
granted and the board prepare
plans, and then the council orders
the job.
Other property owners Of Cliff
av. offered to compromise last
night with the millionaires, but the
latter as much as told them there
was nothing to compromise. AS
it stands now no one is liable for
taxation for the work and the
council will have to begin over If
consent of the three-fourths prop
erty interests can be obtained.