Arizona republican., 1907-06-30
''s-'-'s'-s-,Ssr.TS.
 LITTLE JAMES

Concerning the Perplexity in Which President Roosevelt lately Groped.)
 Tn other day President Rooseyfelt was a Iayin' in q Hammick a gaZin with Keen Delite at the Oisters Tn Oister Bay which was Playfly Iis- ,.ortin' theirselfs an Chasin' each other Around with Glad Crize. Fer tn Rv-valves is tn Merriest in tn Mid summer Months which as no R In 'em.
 Willyum Lobe. he Approached an Interrupt tn Innocent Prank of tn O:sters which fled with little Sreeks of Alarm into deeper Water. Mister Lobe he had Tellygrafts in ms hands. He sez, sez he. Yer EXlency. handin' Mister Rooseyfelt wun or tn Tellegrafts here is a MessidSe rum Judge Kent of AriZony what< sez al they is a Vacancy iist ben Caused IT tn Land offs at Fenix an he Recom- ends tn appintment of Wun Charles ! Arnold. who he sez is All Rite, an 'at they cuddent be no body better. Hes had grate ExDeryunce in sich things an tn Cuvermentll be maxim Big hl@ld4h II IL -NNeANeANs7 " Of his Services"
 All Rite" seZ President Rooseyfelt. It'll be Mister Arnold. Anybody at Judge Kent stands Fur is good enuft | fer me Me an him was in tn same ; Grammer and 'Rithmetic class up at Harvard This here Tellygraft has awoke Tender Memries of when we ust to get out on tn Campus and sing:
 We all love our Skoolmaits Deer.
 Who's that other Tellygratt frum, willyum?"
 wiIlyum Loeb he tore it open an sez: This here's frum your Ole Frend. United Staits Martial Daniels. of Tooksoon. Why. darned ii it aint ! about tn same thing. He's got a ! Candydate fer tn Land offs. too. His names Lvman Wakefield" A trubbled Look past over tn Screen face of tn i President an he asts What does he say about this here Mister Wakefield? | Iemme see it wunst'
 ] Tn President he red tn Tellygraft over an he sez I'm Strangely Divided | betwixt Luv an Dooty. I'd like to ' Accommodate my ole Skoolmat, Judge Kent, but then agin, on tn other hand been Soshated with Mis- ter Daniels in tn more Serious Biz ness of Life an l owe sumthin' to him ! too. We can't afoard to be Swade by tn Affeckshuns which was formed ia our Youth. It's true at Judge Kent ust to help me out in my Rithmetic an Grammer, but Mister Daniels he helped me tn time I Conkered tn Hoasts of Spain an Rested Cuby fun | tn Grasp of tn Tirent"
 Tn President he studied awhile an
 then he sez, 'I'll hafto settle it by Comparin' tn Quallyficashuns of Mis-
 ter Arnold an Mister Wakefield.
 Judge Kent he sez at Mister Arnold d
 make first class Land Officer an 'at
 he's had lots of Experyence in Clericle | Dooties, but tn Judge he don't go
 into Spesificashuns None.
 Mister Daniels he's more Explissit.
 He sez at Mister Wakefield's ben q
 cowman fer more'n thirty yeers an
 served as Sherff of Pimo County,
 which I spose meens at he can Shoot
 Quick an Acrit- He also seZ at he's
 Red Hot fer Giant Staithood an 'at
 he seZ he never seen a Wulluf At
 tackt a Deer an eat its Hart out
 don't see as at ort to ast any more
 fun any Candydate.
 MT. Arnold may be as good man
 hut Judge Kent Neglecks to say SC
 in so many words. 1 have no Meens
 Of knowin' whether he's Handy enuft
 with a Gun or not. He may be sound
 or Giant Staithood. but Judge Kent
 don't say so. I'm equally in Dout as
 to his Profishency in Nacher Studies
 Judge Kent he ort to a gone into De-
 tales more. But as things now Stands
 my Dooty seems Plane. Willyum, go
 an make out Mister Wakefield's com
 mishun." LITTLE JAMES.