Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-12-09
ABSENCE OF MIND.
A Funny Story About Ampers, the r.
nous Mathematician.

A Funny Story About Ampsrs, the F.
nous Mathematician.
You all know the old joke of the pro
lessor who. bordering over the saying
that in a railway accident absence Of
body was good deal better than alb
sence Of mind, went to the nearest
railway station and tried to take
ticket "for the nearest railway acci-
dent" so as to have the matter proved
to his own satisfaction. You doubt.
less know the story, too, Of the pro-
fessor Of mathematics whose new par
lor maid told him when he rang at his
own door that Professor Jones was
out. "I'll call again, I'll call again." he
said and went away.
But these are stories merely. Here,
however, are some incidents from real
life: Ampere was remarkably absent.
minded. Hundreds Of stories Of his
observation-disclosures are told, but quite
the funniest is that Of his dinner at the
house Of NJ. Fontanes, the grand mas.
ter Of the University Of Paris. For
joke somebody had told Ampere that
he must go to the dinner In his AGA
demicians uniform Of green and gold
and girt with his sword. When he got
to the house he was very much an
noyed to find everybody else in ordi.
nary evening dress. II will get rid Of
the sword at all events" he said to
himself and slipped 1t behind the cush.
ions Of sofa. After dinner Ampere
forgot himself, as usual, and became
lost In abstruse calculation. He took q
little piece of chalk out Of his pocket
and began working out problems on
the black satin cover Of the mantel.
piece. He became so absorbed in what
be was doing that all the guests left
without his noticing them, and when
he wrote down Q. e. d. no one was
left in the room except Nine. Fon-
tanes, and she unfortunately sat fast
asleep on the sofa where Ampere's
sword lay hidden.
Ampere went down upon his knees
and pulled gently at the sword, so as
to get 1t away without waking the
lady. He pulled and pulled, and pres
entity the sword came out-without the
scabbard. At this moment Nine. Fon.
tanes awoke and alarmed the house
with her screams Of terror at seeing a
man on his knees before her with q
drawn sword In his hand.
But mathematical professors have
not the monopoly Of absentminded-
ness. La Fontaine, whose fables are
the delight Of adult Frenchmen and
their children's earliest task, went to
the court Of Louis XVI. to present
copy Of his fables to the king. And he
forgot the book. Fortunately, the king
knew La Fontaine, his fables and his
foibles and gave him a thousand ~.
toles about $3.50. Unfortunately,
though, La Fontaine left the money In
his hired carriage on his way back to
Paris.
But the prettiest piece Of absent
Of which I have ever heard
was that Of Professor Pozzi, who ask
ed lady who was bewailing the fact
that she had no children whether she
thought the failing was hereditary.
This is even more amusing than the
delightful answer made by the engi-
neer Of the Seine tunnel, M. Berlier. to
a servant who told him when he went
to call upon his lawyer that that gen.
tleman had died that morning. "Oh,"
said NJ. Berlier, dear. dear, I'm so sor-
~. But tell him I won't keep him .
James Gazette.