Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1907-07-26
DRIFTXVOOD
BY LUE r. VERNON

Silence may be golden. but you
can t always convert it into cash.
Some people seem to be making 4
fortune out of wheat without Il grain
of trouble.
wonder how Teddy" can keep
his hands off the submarine boat
called the Octopus.
The report is denied that Count
Boni has sent Cablegram of sympa-
thy to Howard Gould.
A New Orleans man of 102 years.
who never had been kissed. died the
other day. He's just as well off
dead.
David Belasco says money doesn t
count with him. 1t will be recalled
that David received his early train
ing in San Francisco.
From this distance. the Jamestown
Exposition seems to be promoting
peace by encouraging deSertiOns
from the visiting navieS.
A Boston doctor says woman should
keep her perfect figure by eating
onions. And her permanent dis
tance in doing SO, let us hope.
The reason so many pennies are
placed in the plate at the church col
lection is because no smaller coins
are minted in the United States.
n Co., .o,,,o ,,ool A,,,oc;oox, D,oe;
dent to send a red hot literary bullet
or billet to nip in the bud the insol-
ence of the little yellow NippOnites.
An Olympia woman covers her jars
of preserves with newspapers con-
tanning tramp jokes. She says by
doing SO, she is sure they won't work.
The whole country has been thrilled
by the wire-melting message that
Secretary Taft had a Stomach-ache in
st. Paul. Well, there was plenty of
room for it.
A Wyoming man was shot at, but
his life was saved by a half-dollar in
his vest pocket, which shows how
much more good a half-dOllar does at
times than a $40 bill.
DIR. Wiley says that absence from
pie is helpful to the constitution.
This may be true, yet, however, the
Republican elephant seems to be in
pretty good condition.
When public officers do not know
what their duty is, or at least do not
perform it, why not impeach them
and stop the business of eternally
kicking at their door?
If, as one scientist claims. John d.
Rockefeller is the type of the future
American, there's some hope, if We
live long enough, for those of us who
have to chase the nimble dollar.
A New England man predicts an
earthquake in New York in August.
1t won't matter much. If my infOr-
nation is correct, no sensible man
remains in New York in August.
Emperor William, according to a
cablegram, always telephones to his
wife when he doesn't intend to 90
home. It's all right for Bill to do
that. He has an army back of him.
A Chicago editor thinks that the
next Presidential nominee should be
neither too radical nor too cOnserva-
tive. But such q candidate would
neither catch them going nor COM
ing.
Admiral Coghlan says that there
never was a complaint from anybody
concerning his famous "Hoch der
Kaiser" after-dinner effort. There
certainly was none from the para
graphers.
Tuesday, an Olympia little girl
watching some carpenters shingling,
noticed that they put the nails in
their mouths. She looked awhile and
then said: Why, papa, see those
men eating nails.
When a man has the self-satisfac-
ton of thinking that he knows all
about a subject, he will not admit
that anyone else knows aught that
will conflict with his own ideas of
what he thinks he knows,
The Seattle Times, editOr-in-chief
Blethen, once upon time had no use
on earth for 1-cent guttersnipe news
papers. Now you can buy the Eren-
ing Times in Seattle for one cent.
Times do change; yes, indeed.
What a lot of men there are who
potter around! That is the trouble
with thousands of the animal known
as man; they potter around, instead
of getting at their work promptly
and doing it in the shortest and best
way.
Senator Ankeny need not worry
about securing o scrap-book large
enough to hold articles of praise
printed about him in the Evergreen
State" newspapers. A cigarette
paper book will be ample for the pur.
pose.
That Boston doctor who wants to
murder all weaklings in childhood is
altogether too scientific, but l would
respectfully suggest that "Teddy's' =
anti-race suicide crusade be amended
to prevent the production of that
kind of kids.
A rancher near Tacoma has q bull
which, he claims, can pray.-P..I.
Nothing strange about that. Ia
coma, itself, has a Bull" that plays
the fiddle, and a Coon" that tOots
a big base horn. Truly Tacoma is a
City of Destiny"
A party Of Hindus opposed to the
partition of Bengal the other day
observed partition day" by fasting