The Democratic advocate., 1907-08-23
FRIDAY AFTERNOON, AUGUST %, 1907
AS A WOMAN SAW THE
REPUBLICAN CON-
VENTION.
Republican Virtues and Democratic
Vices Amazed Her.
Bossing Looked $50 Easy"
Delegates Did What They Were Told
So Willingly That The Convention
Seemed Unnecessary.

According to this convention, said
Julia, as she gazed at the honorable con-
course of the "grand old party ''to be
a Republican is to be an unqualified angel,
and to be a Democrat is-well, as pro-
fess to be perfect lady l hate to express
myself out loud. At any rate, I do feel
dreadfully ashamed of my own dear Demo
cratic party and I'm so proud to have mad
the extreme pleasure of learning from the
Republicans what misjudged, misunder-
stood people they are Aren' the Demo
Gratis bad, wicked unfair, unjust, fabri-
eating, scheming, cheating, perjuring and
bribing crowd? Everyone ought to be in
the penitentiary. And, oh, the virtue
and the harmony of the grand old party
1t really makes me weep for shame to
think of the naughty, naughty way the
Democrats have behaved
"Just a minute said the agreeable
man. Aren't you little hard on the
Republicans? They are not such bad
lot after all. ~
ooh, no, said Julia, "they have taken
great pains to tell us all how good, and
fine, and unselfsh, and wise and just they
are, and how they have patiently borne
the tyranny of the wicked Democrats for
eight long years, and having stood the
grinding down beneath the iron heels of
the bosses as long as mortal could endure,
they have now decided to rise again like
truth and carry the State to glory and
Republicanism.
''It has been rather day of strenuous
epithets, hasn' it p asked the man.
"And of few surprises, said Julia:
"You remember that you told me that be-
ing an independent you felt compelled. to
say that this convention, compared with
the Democratic convention, would be wus-
Sci"
"Stop fussing," said the man. Don
be prejudiced. Listen and learn"
Julia, feeling that there was much to
see and hear, tried TO subside 1t was, at
any rate, beautifully ordered convention.
There was not jarring or discordant note.
Things went likethe proverbial clock At
heproper minute applause broke out, and at
another proper minute "the assemblage was
with difficulty brought to order The
bosses had things working SO smoothly
that it was impossible to detect the wheels.
Oh, to be man and be boss and to feel
that you have dominated whole State of
men! Perhaps, though, Julia reflected, it
is just as nice to be woman and feel that
you could dominate u few men. 1t didn' t
seem, however, that it would be very diff
fcult to dominate whole convention.
The men, like her, were just waiting to be
dominated and bossed, and it was a real
pleasure to have someone do the controlling
pleasantly. The agreeable man said the
someone's name was Mudd
So beautifully did Mr. Mudd boss that
there was not ''No' during the entire
conventions Everybody said YES to
everything that everybody else said, and
everybody did what the big boss told them.
"And his name was Mudd," said the man
again.
Julia decided that it was really very
fat convention, after all, when compared
with the Democratic convention.
81 like fight, Julia said, and pouted,
"but this stupid old business of having
everything written down on states or where
ever it is they have the ticket written is so
uninspiring Harmony may be nice, but
is deadly dull
1t really did not seem as if there was
any use of having a convention. Every
delegate knew how things would turn out.
He knew just when to say, "Down with
the Democratic party and he knew who
would be chosen, and so there was little
suspense.
SIT was lively at the Democratic con-
vention," said Julia. 'sThere was sus-
pense in the air. One didn't know what
might happen next"
81 believe you" said the man, and
smiled suggestively.
The man said nothing, more and not liking
to talk to herself, Julia fell to wondering
about the three Gs, or the sc. G. Gs'5
that Col. j. Frank Supplee spoke of. Good
government and Gather they stood for,
according to Colonel Supplee. When Julia
went to school there was a semisecret So
ciety of girls who called themselves the
sc. G. Gs," and (whisper it low in
school days these three letters stood for
Green Garter Gang, not green goods gang.
OF course it was very wicked and unmaid-
emily for little schoolgirls to even think of
such things, but girls will be girls. There
is really no connection at all between the
two sets Of Gs, but it is interesting to note
To begin at the beginning the conven-
tion was much smaller gathering than the
one Of last week. Not even the added
attractions of the band and the beautiful
decorations of red, white and blue, with a
touch Of black here and there, stirred the
delegates into more than the stipulated
amount of applause.
Thomas Parran, the chairman of the
Republican State Committee, made thrill
ing speech in which he told some stories
that showed that every Democrat was evil
and bad and every Republican pure and
holy. The crowd liked those stories and
yelled right merrily.
Julia thought, BY the way, that Mr..
Parran was man to be considered. He
is keen and knows how to tell good story
to illustrate the good square deal that the
Republicans are going to give to the people
Of this great Commonwealth. There will
be so many square deals, according to Mr..
Parran, that even those who are some
times called politicians will soon forget
what crooked means. The solution for all
the troubles Of the universe is Republican.
ism, he said in substance, and here the
crowd got up and shouted, and one man
.,.., !. oo-k ,vbool NTH his naxu efrou hat