The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1907-05-24
SMOOT IS A LECTURER.

Apostle Smoot may have no intention
TO add TO the gaiety of Nations, but II
the report concerning his desire to be-
come a lecturer before the country be
true, the rcvered seer is likely TO dis
cover that tho Yankee can sometimes
turn his mind from the serious prob
lens of life-and will therefore be
charmed to give TO the revelator de-
lightful and delighted hearing.
There is no man in Utah who would
attempt to dissuade the Senator from
his lecturiug purpose, provided he has
it, except, possibly, his own private
secretary. That bright young gentle
man knows the cost of the apostolic
effort to reach up into tho oratorical
heavens and pluck therefrom large sec
tions of the azure of brilliant speech.
He also realizes the nerve-racking ma
ture of the work of holding copy on
the distinguished ambassador of Joseph
+. But these objections having been
crowded into the rear, let us imagine
in what manner the vast and opprcs-
sive Smoot silence will be split wide
open. Hear him:
Ladies and gentlemen, you are highly
honored to sec before you the prodigy
of the Rockies For personal purity
[ have no equal on the face of the
earth, and none of you can ever hope
TO come up to my level. l was born of
ut. 1>,,f IN Ia, ncy
solemn manner | can assure You that
the moment 7 entered this world I
kicked. My prattle as an infant, as
it is today, was IN denunciation of po-
lygamy. In my capacity as. an apostle,
one called of God. j have roared in
the tabernacle against polygamy until
the walls of that historic building have
ratified to the point of danger, and my
polygamous coadJutors have trembled in
fear of my wrath.
In Utah we have Il man who calls
himself Il prophet. He is no such
thing. and / have told him so. He has
five wives and forty-three children. /
have many times complained to him
that he was living an immoral life, and
he has fairly quailed before my pres
ence. But that was not all, 1t came
TO my ears that a number of men had
taken plural wives since we promised
the country that we would stop the
practice, Immediately | called these
men by telephone and told them TO skip
the country, or / would resign my po-
sition. They went, and / think that
they are still going-that is, those
who are going into polygamy at the
present time. | am determined that
men who thus break the law shall not
remain In my State. I have expressed
myself to the effect that If I had u
religious conviction which was opposed
to the law of my country, ] would leave
the country and go where | could prac-
tice my belief. These new polygamists
know this, and they are proceeding in
that way. That is the reason why we
have established refugees for them in
Canada and Mexico. So, you see, we
have no more polygamy in Utah, be-
cause we send the men who 90 into
that practice out of the State. My per
sonal purity must be respected and
you see the result.
We have been accused of collecting
two millions of dollars annually from
the members of our church No such
thing. 1t is nearer three millions 1t
is also said Of us that we give TO the
Mormon people nothing in return for
this money. The falsity of this state
ment must be perfectly apparent to
you when you see me. They pet from
me sage advice and counsel that are
Invaluable. That ought TO be enough
to satisfy the most eXacting,
Again il is told of us that we are a
commercial body. If any of YOU woula
accompany me to our mountain home /
could show him peanut stand in my
home town that is owned by a rank
outsider. Everybody has show among
us but the SHOW that we delight in
handing out to ''thc enemy (and
all not ''of US are our cnemies). is
the show to leave the State,
Then there is this matter of political
interference that our enemies have been
making SO much fuss over. Now. that