davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09
SoIJeezino = Nickel

In his early days John d. Rockefel-
Ter used to eat his noon lunch in a
hotel cafe where the menu offered
roast beef and potatoes at 35 cents.
Price and diet suited Mr.. Rockefeller,
and every day he consumed one full
order of roast beef and potatoes add
ing piece of pie for dessert. Not
until after he had finished his
luncheon one day did he discover that
change had been made in the prices,
and that roast beef alone was So
cents. For potatoes an extra charge
Of ten cents had been made Mr.
Rockefeller had been giving the
waiter a ten-cent tip every day, but
this time, in view of the charge of ten
cents for potatoes, he laid out only a
nickel for the waiter. The latter made
bold, after the manner of his kind,
to reproach Mr.. Rockefeller, declar.
ing, disdainfully:
IF l had as much money as you
have, wouldn't squeeze a nickel so
hard"
IF you squeezed nickel as hard
as | do you wouldn't be a waiter"
calmly replied Mr.. Rockefeller, the
while carefully putting the remainder
of the change back into his pocket
book.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09
MORE BOXES OF GOLD
And Many Greenbacks.

325 boxes of Gold and Greenbacks
will be sent to persons who write the
most interesting and truthful letters
of experience on the following topics:
1. How have you been affected by
coffee drinking and by changing from
coffee to Postum?
2. Give name and account of one or
more coffee drinkers who have been
hurt by it and have been induced to
quit and use Postum.
8. Do you know any one who has
been driven away from Postum be-
cause it came to the table weak and
characterless at the first trial?
4. Did you set such person right
regarding the easy way to make it
clear, black, and with snappy, rich
taste?
5. Have you ever found a better
way to make it than to use four heap
ing teaspoonfuls to the pint of water,
let stand on stove until real boiling
begins, and beginning at that time
when actual boiling starts, boil full Is
minutes more to extract the flavor and
food value. CA piece of butter the size
of pea will prevent boiling over.)
This contest is confined to those who
have used Postum prior to the date of
this advertisement.
Be honest and truthful, don't write
poetry or fanciful letters, just plain,
truthful statements.
Contest will close June LIST, 1907,
and no letters received after that date
will be admitted Examinations of let
tiers will be made by three judges, not
members of the Postum Cereal Co.,
Ltd. Their decisions will be fair and
final, and a neat little box containing
a $40 gold piece sent to each of the
five writer's of the most interesting
letters, box containing SIS gold
piece to each of the 20 next best, a
81 greenback to each of the 100 next
best, and a 81 greenback to each of
the 200 next best, making cash prizes
distributed to 325 persons.
Every friend of Postum is urged to
write and each letter will be held in
high esteem by the company, as an
evidence of such friendship, while the
little boxes of gold and envelopes of
money will reach many modest writer's
whose plain and sensible letters con-
tain the facts desired, although the
sender may have but small faith in
winning at the time of writing.
Talk this subject over with your
friends and see how many among
you can win prizes. 1t is a good, hon
est competition and in the best kind of
a cause, and costs the competitors alb
solutely nothing.
Address your letter to the Postum
Cereal Co., Ltd, Battle Greek. Mich,
writing your own name and address
clearly
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09
ONE DOLLAR A WEEK.
How to Make 1t Grow and Double
Up If Carefully Used.

According to the annual report OF
the New York savings banks the
number of depositors is now 1885,
295, and the total of their deposits
is over $1,400,000,000, an amount
greater than the bonded debt of the
United States.
These depositors, who outnumber
the inhabitants of Manhattan Island,
are to be commended for their wis
dom. IL all men of small means were
to follow their example, the communi-
ty as a whole would be much better
off. There was not one savings bank
failure in the past year. There is
not single savings bank now whose
report is not creditable to it's man
beyond question.
In these days of get-rich quick
schemes, of mining stocks, of specula-
ton in bucketshops, poolrooms, or
the curb and in the stock exchange
it is most timely to turn to the saw.
ings banks and to point out the SUI
periority to every man of small earn
ings and limited means of depositing
definite surplus regularly at inter
est.
For rich man to speculate is one
thing. He can afford to lose some
money. He has time for personal in
vestigation of the risk, and he has
the power to enforce his legal rights.
He may win or he may lose, but in
either case the transfer of wealth is
not a vital matter
To all the men who work for wages
or on salaries their only hope for a
peaceful old age and for life free
from racking money cares is to pro-
vide beforehand for the future. They
should take no risk. When they spec
ulate they stake their family's future
and their own peace of mind against
few dollars. Even were the chances
equal-and in the case of a small man
the odds are always against him
the risk which he takes is vastly dis
proportionate to any possible gain.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09
ANSWERS TO THE CURIOUS.

No, Amateur Thespian, the heavy
man 1t not stage wait.
An Old Subscriber is informed that
wives are not like beefsteak-you can
not make them tender by beating
them.
A Lover-The way to open the door
to a successful courtship is very sim
pie. All you have to do is ring the
belle.
If Epicure wants the best way Of
avoiding indigestion through mince
pie, the remedy is easily learned.
Don't eat it.
A correspondent who signs herself
"Fastidious" wants to know how to
convey delicate hint to a lady guest
who persists in using cigarettes. II
she smokes, put her out. This applies
equally whether she smokes cigarettes
or sets herself on fire.
Easy Mark asks the surest way of
detecting counterfeit notes. Try to
get to serve term on the grand jury,
and then you will know how to find
true bills.
1t is hard to answer your question
without further data, Lily Bell. The
fact that your heart futters strangely
and that you are always blushirg, may
be either signs that you are romantic
ally in love or that you have indiges-
ton.
Worried Wife-If buying a new
bonnet is a crime in you husbands
eyes, just charge it to Baltimore
American.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09
FIRST TO CROSS PACIFIC.
side-WheeI Steamer Aroused Much
interest in Japan.

II saw the first steamship flying the
American flag that ever crossed the
Pacific ocean enter the harbor of
Hongkong," said Frederick r. Ster-
ling, a merchant of Hongkong.
"That vessel was the Colorado, and
it landed in Hongkong in 1869 1t was
the first day of January, and there was
a big crowd of people of all nationali-
ties to see her. Being a side-wheeler
OF the old-fashioned type, she was a
curiosity At the request of Isaac ].
Allen, the American consul general,
the ship gave an excursion around the
island on which the city is situated.
was among the 1,200 on board. 1t
was a gala day. Whistles blew, people
shouted, and numerous small sailing
boats and tugs escorted us.
LAS ] remember now, the vessel be-
longed to the Pacific Mail Line and
sailed from San Francisco. She made
the trip of 5000 miles in 80 days, and
when she arrived was in perfect trim
and good order Everybody realized
that it means the beginning of the
great development of the Pacific"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09
curio Collectors Queer Fads.

No one knows quite so we'll as
curio collector how many queer fads
occupy the minds of people who have
both leisure and money. One woman
who is an adept in the art of finding
things in out of the way places and
getting them at low prices is now
working on no less than so different
collections, many of which are de-
cidedly freakish. Here are a few Of
them: Stuffed toads for a woman
who already has various specimens
of the genus toad in his various
shapes and sizes, fossilized vegeta-
ton, odd bottles, teeth of famous PEG.
pie, photographs of particularly vi.
cious animals, paper weights, door
keys, exact miniature copies of in
ventions for the punishment of Grim
inals, and skins of cats of lofty line
age. The foregoing fads are selected
at random, but serve to show the
scope of the work undertaken by
person who adopts curio collecting as
a profession.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09
Fellow Travellers.

A Greenwich man tells of Con,
necticut farmer who, after having
driven lot of hogs to Greenwich,
sold them for precisely what had
been offered him before he left home.
You don't seem to have made much
by bringing your hogs down here, =
remarked the man who tells the
story.
well, no." replied the agriculture
list, dejectedly, Il amt made no mon
ey, but then, you know" he added, his
face frightening, Il had the company
of the hogs on the way down. ''-Har.
pers Weekly.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09
Money for Y. M. C. A.

The raising Of $4,000 in one day by
the Y. NJ. G. A. of Ottawa, Ont, broke
all records that have been made by
the associations in their building can
vases, in which 100000 has been
secured in the last two years Re-
Gently the Ottawa association set out
to raise 100000 in Is days 1t re-
ceived pledges for $203,359. On the
last day of the campaign 1900 people
pledged $4,000.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09
Justified.

"You are charged with having
knocked your wife down, backing
her eyes and loosening two of her
teeth. Have yer anything to say for
yourself?"
"She had it cor1in' to her, yer hon.
or"
What did she do or say that could
in any way justify such treatment on
your part?"
"She said | didn't love her no more"
Houston Post.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09
Caught Big Sailing Fish.

Louis Weaver of this city returned
from a visit to the Florida coast Sat
urday, bringing with him a 90-pound
sailing fish, which he landed with a
hook and line after So minutes of
sport, says the Washington Post.
This is said to be the third fish of
its kind ever caught in American wa
tiers, and Mr.. Weaver has been busy
since his return receiving congratula-
tons from his numerous fishing
friends.
The monster will be turned over to
the Smithsonian Institution, which is
without a specimen Of this kind.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09

spells. For ten years I could not do
homework, and for two years did not
get out of the house. The kidney Sc
cretions were irregular, and doctors
were not helping me. Doan's Kidney
Pills brought me quick relief, and
finally cured me. They saved my life. -
Sold by all dealers. so cents box.
Foster-Milburn Co.. Buffalo. N. Y.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09
A Misnomer.

Twas IL of the night, and the tired
man, unable to sleep, was listening to
the dog barking after rats on one side,
another bowling at the moon, on the
other side cats fighting and yowling
on shed near by, and rats squeaking
as they scurried to their holes.
"And these fool nature writer's call
them our dumb animals!" he NUT
tered-Baltimore American.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09
S1OO Reward. S1OO.

The readers of this paper will be pleased to learn
that there at least one dreaded disease that science
has been able to In all its stages and that is
Catarrh. Halls Catarrh Cure is the only positive
cure now known to the medical fraternity. Catarrh
being constitutional disease, requires consttu-
tional treatment Halls Catarrh Cure is taken in
ternaly acting directly upon the blood and mucous
surfaces of the system, thereby destroying the
foundation of the disease, and giving the patient
ing nature in doing its work. The proprietors have
so much faith In its curative powers that they offer
One Hundred Dollars for any case that 1t fails to
cure. Send for list of testimonials.
Address F. j. CHENEY CO., Toledo, o.
Sold by all Druggists 75c.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09
A Practical Demonstration,

Come, come, my little man." ex.
claimed old Mr.. Cherry, 81 wouldn't
cry like that"
''All right replied the boy, through
his sobs. 'Lemme give you a soak
back o. the ear with a stone like got
an see how you'd do it,
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09
Theoretical Treasure.

Some rich men are unable to count
all their money"
Yes said young Mrs. Torkins.
when Charley sits down and figures
how much he is going to win at the
track next day 1 am almost certain
he isn't going to be able to count il"
Washington Star.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09
The interest in Risks.

People are always willing to listen
to man who wants to make a
speech"
YES" answered Senator Sorghum;
its the sporting instinct of the Amer
lean people. They know he's taking
chance on saying something he will be
sorry for. "-Washington Star.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09
Our Own limitations.

Following is a correct imitation of
a syndicate jokesmith:
Say. old man, what do you do for
jokes when you can't think of any to
writer"
20, then | just write some jokes
that amt jokes" replied the joke
smith
P. S.-Imitations like this, six for a
quarter Milwaukee Sentinel.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09

from kidney trou-
bles. My back panied
me terribly. Every
turn or move caused
S b a p, S b o tin G
pains. My eyesight
was poor, dark spots
appeared before me,
and / had dizzy
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09
Never Recover.

"Skribbler is going to write poem
on the railway eating house sand
wich.'
HAS he ever eaten one?"
mo, but he Intends to-"
Then he'll never write the poem"
Milwaukee Sentinel.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09
His Exceptions,

DO you expect to make the people
believe all you say?"
NO" answered Senator Sorghum;
1T will be a pretty good job if
convince them that I believe all of it
myself Washington Star.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09
Knew It by Heart.

do you think you could learn to
love me?" the young man inquired.
Learn to love your" exclaimed the
rapturous maid. Harold, could give
lessons at it."
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09
Heard in the Green Room.

First Actor-Congratulate me, old
man, have been married just ten
years to-day to one woman.
Second Actor-That's nothing. I've
been married twice to my present
wife in five years. Chicago News.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09

Instead of experimenting with drugs and
strong cathartics are clearly harm
ful-take Natures mild laxative, Garfield
Tea! 1t is made wholly of Herbs For
constipation, liver and kidney derange-
ments, sick-headache, biliousness and in
digestion.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09
An Advantage Of Elaborate Diction

An Advantage of Elaborate Diction.
You say he accused you of being
untruthful?"
That's what happened" answered
Piute Pete, with much embarrassment.
And lives to tell the tale?"
We'll, you see he used long words
in such roundabout way that he
was out O. town Eefore I had figgered
out exactly what he meant. Wash
instoE Star.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09
May RediViVus.

Mary had little am,
Also some little buns.
She made sandwiches out of them
Just like the railroad ones.
Judge.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09
Shrewd Guess,

Miss Darling must be very popular,
judging from the size Of her mail"
Yes; I think most of it consists Of
sealed proposals. Baltimore Ameri.
can
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09
Everybody BUSY.

Father has gone back to riding a wheel;
The family is madly gyrating;
Mother has bought new automobile,
And the children are all roller-skating.
washington Star.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09
The Old. Old Story.

OF mystic thought" cults I've tried
In vain to be scholar,
Only to learn that, latter ALL
1t takes hard work to earn the dollar
-Tudge
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09
Transition.

The sun shines out in gorgeous style,
lis followed by a cold wave later;
The worlds hot house for awhile,
And next day a great refrigerator.
Washington Star.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09

Be generous in judging the faults
Of others. Most of US can only see
our own shadows.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09
TEN YEARS or PAIN.
Unable to Do Even Housework BE.
cause of Kidney Troubles.

Mrs. Margaret Emmerich, of C1in-
ton ST., Napoleon, O., says: For
fifteen years I was a great sufferer |
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09

The easiest way to interest wom-
an in a one-dollar article IS tc
mark it down from $3.50 to 1923.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09

A fruit tree in the back yard is
worth two family trees in glass case.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09

She-Grace could get along with her
husband if she wanted to. Where
there's a will there's a way.
Heller husband says where there's
a will there's a won't -Chicago Jour
nal
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09

1t goes without saying that talking
machine does not say without going.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09

Mrs WinsIow's Soothing Syrup.
For children teething softens the gums, reduces In
dammation alays pain cures wind collie &c bottle
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09
For Prices on Poultry,

either live or dressed, write X. =. CODE
st. Paul. MINI.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09
pon,t sneeze Your Head Off.

Krause's Cold Capsules will cure you {
most instantly. At all Druggists, 25c.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09

She-I think he's such a breezy
chap.
He-He certainly does blow a great
deal about himself-Brooklyn Eagle.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1907-05-09

Molly-How are you going to reform
him?
Dolly-Marry him.
Molly-Goodness Does he need
such heroic treatment az that?
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1907-08-03

Again has the ruthless onocas invaded with pcane hands the
cred graveyard Of the do violence popular idol
school boys roaming amid history
acquaintance with the paraohs the land Of the land Of the
od the bull and the scarabeus among the greatest these
Raneses did build magnificent temples mighty pya
course inscriptions proved
the historians justly magned his exalted majesty by applying him the
title "The Great"
n age Of criticism the raEe
let the sacred dead rest peace No therefore, that the shame
less desecrator enters into the cold vaults of antiquity asa
the character Of his exalted Mummyhp Rameses H. and rob him Of
the glory and homage paid him during all the ages.
An Psychologist whatever that back of this nefarious
Professor Navie who has been digging the rich
the Nile with unhoy designs and doubt his frame ghush
gee when he made the find that Ram great The charges
made against this ancient worthy by the learned professor very
serious character and deserve serious attention if true and not true the
professor should be promptly sued for SANDER.
Professor Nayie charges substance humbug
and CRATER boot and lays the additional charge Of nodnae vanity
the doors this ustrous poena Anyone charges
proved would be sufficient general public indignation that the
title Great" should have ben applied o him.
Now what the grounds the professor rasng
Only this that the and which the
II inscribed not built by him but built years be-
fore his time; fact be about thousand years before
had appeared dazzle the world with his spedor professor
further alleges that Ramee being plan working
grand humbug succeeding generations by having his
mothers Of temple statue and from
eataracts It smooth graft and worked admirably pro-
fessor along the trick and Rameses before
in his true light a vain impostor.
Alas poor old Ramese Yany witt upon and Osiris to
him from his pb fallen aehs glory his greatness
Of standing among great Rockefeller and Roo
vet he step down from his lofty pedestal
the humble oes who helped build pyramids exposed
graeed must forever bear the title Of Rame the Fraud
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1907-08-03
WHY FRET AND WORRY

when your child has a severe cold?
You need not fear pneumonia or 9TH
er pulmonary diseases. Keep supplied
with Billiards. Horehound Syrup-a
positive cure for Colds, Coughs, Bron-
chitis and Whooping Cough.
Mrs. Hall Of Sioux Falls, S. d.,
writes: II have used your wonderful
Billiards. Horehound Syrup on my
children for fiev years. Its results
have been wonderful"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1907-08-03
B. B. MAIL CLERK EXAM

A civil service examination for
Railway Mail Clerk will be held at
the court house in this city on Aug.
6, the first Of its kind ever held in
Chickasha. Previously all desiring
to take this examination have had to
20 either to Oklahoma City or to So.
McAlester, but this will make it much
more convenient for Chickasha appli-
cants. This examination is much more
stringent than the mail carrier exam
nation, and only one application has
been received thus far.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1907-08-03
CHRISTIAN CHURCH

9:45-Souvenir for all, "Facts con-
ceming the New Testament Church.
Given to each one who attends the Bi-
bic School tomorrow.
ii a. m.-Address by Bro. Dinger
theme: "The Broken Alabaster Box.
Bring your friends and neighbors.
s:15-Lecture: "Your Debt to
Christianity Special music. Every
body welcome every time.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1907-08-03
THE PLAIN PLUcKER

If a burn or bruise affliets you
rubit on, rub it on.
Then before you scarcely know it
all the rouble will be gone.
For an aching joint or muscle do
the same.
1t extracts all pains and poisons,
plucks the sting and heals the lame.
Hunts Lightning Oil does it. DIV
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1907-08-03

G. L. HamricE, editor of the Tut
tie Times, was in town today. He
says the Times viii come out as a
straight republican paper next week.
Mr.. Hamriek thinks the murdered man
here is Crawford.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1907-08-03

The people will proceed put the proper fxns the protest
Of the pewump partisan political pow Tulsa against the
hood proposition and the constitution Of the which
protects the peace prosperity the Of all pat
Oc persons Perhaps and possibly oh pshaw phudg and pe
the pie-wumps-weve out Of p's