The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-07-10
The TERROR DINNER
"RattIesnakeS on Toast" Was
the Cowboys Order.
BUT HE MET WITH HIS MATCH
The Promptness With Which the
Tough Waiter Served the Dish TOOK
the Terror's Nerve Away-The Re
past and the Final Request

Away back in $50 man named
Turpin established restaurant IN
Yuma, aud among Turpins original
employees was waiter tanned Jae
Straight. wha could shsaT With -5s=aa
precision piay draw Iakef NH IA
varying success and Pack eighteen
plates Of miscellaneous grah elea oae
bare arm nj one thur He ealila exc
cute all the prevailing melodies either
OH piano or guitar and H. possessed
the most tremendous aritoHe yoige
ever heard in Arizona Why iaen some
times went to Tufpin's just IA hear lie
deliver eastronomlc orders Sa per
feet description can bc given If that
voice however. except to say thut at
times 1t really did make things elattef
once fresh Young rowbox from
near ella Bend entered fafpiu.s for Il
Christmas dinner who took startling
connection as an appetizer and then
dropped thna like at a table ana rough
ly shouted 10 Straight
Say. there. Badly Iirtng me sofae
grub
job was nj first appalled,. but. recoY.
cring his reserve limit of cquanimity.
he brushed an imaginary breadcrun5
from the freseucd tableCloth and
whiskcd a bill of fare from the varle
gated castor and placed It before the
new young terror of the Bend.
Take it away" cried the latter In
tones TINT could give Straight's ordi
nary. everyday baritone castle and
ehcckmate ii IN five moves, Il don't
want 10 read your darncd old tract.
| don't care a darn who came into the
world to save sinners. Bring me some
grub grub Grub! Grub! Grub!'
what do You WANT"
"Rattlesnakcs on toast! And | want
you 10 hump Yourself"
Whats thatin
i've given my order. you baldheaded
old cigar store sign, and want YOU to
get Il move on yourself, T. Il. Il. Rattle
snakes on toast
"Rattlesnabes OH toast" cried job to
the cook Ia accents that would have
paralyzed Carl fermes had that old
basso profnndo been living and heard
them
"i;attlcsnahes on toast" was the re
vcrhcruting response from the cook
upon receiving the order
There were II dozen or more people in
the restaurant, and their eyes We're at
once turned ON the Young person from
a. 81.
In the meantime the cool, had taken
big catfish aud cut 1t into four strips
and rolled these strips III batter. so
that they much rcscmhlcd the Wand or
deretl. and after placing them In the
frying pan he stuck his head ont of the
kitchen and shouted to job,
You want them rattlers rare or we'll
done"
The waiter repeated the interrogatory
In n cyclonie way, and the terror re-
piled In rs violent n tone and manner
as he could command. We'll done with
plenty of gravy and Chill Colorado"
And then Job numbered To the cook:
We'll done, with plenty of Chill colo
RADIO. hot ny , and moccasin gravy
ON the side and brochcttes of sand
crane livers aud ella monster lights"
There was an instantaucously dead
silence In that restaurant, and all eyes
We're again east upon the terror and
the waiter The former turned ushcn
pale and began TO weaken perceptibly,
while job gazcd at his victim
Maybe YOU don't think we can serve
all the market affords muttered Job.
Maybe You don't like nloecasin gravy
or hrechettes II In mode. Maybe You
aln't hungry"
SAY, You've got me | amt hungry,
SO help me | couldn't eat n single hard
boiled ceg Gountermand that burned
order old man. and I'll pay all eN
pcnscs and set EN- up MS long ms any
body can drink. Reg pardon, gentle
men, all. My first attempt to he ter
ror pardon me, gentlemen It's my
last
And then he handed his revolver TO
Job ana added
"Fake that pistol old man as n
present and promise me that the next
time any burned fool comes In here
and calls Tor rdttlesnakes on toast
you'll shoot him dead
But Straight WIS too raNhg mad all
the way through to willingly emerge
from a situation only tolerably tri I
umRhaHt 50 he TODD, the weapon lust /
as thu order was being placed GA the
table and, pointing It AZ the terror
exclaimed
"Now, thcn. NY bay. dump yourself