davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-03-27
NIIRTHFUL REMARKS.

How'd yer come to be thrown out Of
Il got out" replied Tired Tihins, with
dignity. 81 didn't halter be thrown out
Washington Herald.
Teacher--willie, where is the alimentary
Willie (eagerly)-Its down there in
Panama where the sports straw hats come
from.-Baltmore American,
Farmer Haysede-The Agricultural de-
partment gives us free seed.
Farmer Corncrib-rhen the weather bur-
eau sends us storms to wash II out.--New
York Sun. tr .t... .r .,r.
II understand your new automobile has
made big hit?''
do you refer to popular admiration or
to the fire hydrant l knocked overf"-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Darling" said he. II understand YOU
have prepared the lunch from your cooking
school recipes Lead me as sacrifice to
the table. am ready for the worst"
And with a "Ha! hal" expression on her
speaking features, she put before him the
home made sausage.-Phladelphia Press.
What is a brain Storm"
well, = answered Farmer Corntossel, ''as
near as I kin make out, it's somethln' like
sayin appendicitis Std O. stomach ache. tie
an expensive name for mighty common
mplaint.'-Washington Star.
Young man." said the severe parent,
when I was your age l was earning my
own living"
sir" answered the impasslve youth, "the
circumstance is one which prefer not to
discuss. In my opinion, 1t reflects no
credit whatever on my grandparents.
Washington Star.
Everyone is so pressing in attentions to
me-" sighed the electric doorbel.
"But when you don't answer / get the
knocks" complained the door.-Baltimore
American.
Us It doughnuts or crullers you wantT'
asked the baker.
'shure, ! dunno" replied Casey. watts
the differ"
well, crulers have holes in the MIDDLE
and doughnuts haven't"
Gimme the doughnuts; fax. I'm not very
fond o. the holes. "-Philadephia Press.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-03-27

Complaints are now being made of
the dirty condition of passenger cars on
the lines east of Chicago. 1t might
help some II the railroads would use
less water in their common stock and
more on the rolling stock.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-03-27

City Electrician Michaelsen hobs up
with notice to the city council that the
lighting fund viii soon be overdrawn,
as II a democrat would be content until
the bottom Of the barrel has been
reached.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-03-27

The man who murdered Whitley, the
London merchant was tried and sen
fenced within thirty days from the date
OF his crime. Those London courts evil
IDENTIFY have not heard Of brain storms.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-03-27

A New York manager has refused TO
sign a contract with a famow tenor
unless ne reduces his waist line FIVE
inches A fat tenor looks out of place
as much as a lean basso.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-03-27

A federal grand jury at Chicago has
indicted church furniture trust. A
church trust ought to be one Of the
good trusts.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-03-27

Having established a new record for
March, it will now become the weather
man greatly If he viii get his machine
hack on the track and keep it under
reasonable control for few weeks, at
least. The present supply of dust and
heat has been such as win suffice for a
good many years to come.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-03-27

The farmers are taking full advantage
Of the early spring and blowing and
seeding are going ahead at a rate that
means no effort will be neglected to In
sure a bountiful harvest.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-03-27

Senator Foraker declares he will
never drop that investigation OF the
Brownsville affair until he gets to the
bottom facts In the case. The negroes
interested may rest assured they will
have white man working for them, at
least until the southern delegates to
themes republican national convention
haze been selected
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-03-27
shaking Up the Grafters.

bI. LOUIS REPUBLIC.
Having been indicted on sixty-six counts
and his bail fixed at $4,000 Abraham Reuf
probably imagines that another seismic dis
turbance has taken place in the vicinity of
San Francisco.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-03-27
OVERRIDING the Poor Mouth.
ClavaIond Taodar

The country may be pretty easy, but It
hasn't failed to note the fact that railroad
earnings go right on increasing while the
railways make a poor mouth over their
burdens and cut off promised improve
ments
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-03-27
Petty Graft, by Comparison.

hdHbdH CITY IIHles.
The utter depravity of political conditions
In San Francisco may be seen from the
fact that II the grafters had stolen only
twenty times as much as they did steal
they would have secured pretty nearly as
much money as was cleaned up in the re-
organization of the Chicago & Alton rail-
way.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-03-27

Plate glass insurance companies
threaten to withdraw from Washington,
d. O. so you have one guess as to
where Carrie Nation is now living.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-03-27

Ex-senator Burton Just out of jail.
| bitterly attacks the president, which illus
trates anew that some men are fortunate
in the enemies they make.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-03-27

After the court succeeds in acquitting
or convicting the expert witnesses the
trial of Harry Thaw probably will be
resumed.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-03-27

Montana reports that the lamb crop
of the state win be bumper this year
in spite Of the severe winter. The
lamb crop is good everywhere except
in Wall street.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-03-27

The Carnegie Hero commission ought
to fix up bunch Of medals for those
stenOgraphers who have taken the testi-
mony in the Thaw case.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-03-27

Leslie NJ. Shaw says the railroads are
rot ready for war. The time to bring
an enemy to terms is when you catch
him In a state Of unpreparedness.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-03-27

Former Senator Burton says his con-
yictlon was due to President Roose-
velts activity, but no one seems to be
blaming Mr. Roosevelt on that account
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-03-27

The Washington Herald is mistaken
about Nebraska women having organ
lied an Whiskers society. The
Nebraska women have never worn 'em.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-03-27

When the city council passes the drug
store bill Sunday in Omaha viii be a
Sahara, indeed.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-03-27

The announcement that Corea wants
japanese immigrants comes from Japan
and not from Corea.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-03-27

Battling Nelson, the pugilist, has had
his tonsils removed and now can talk
as fast as a congressman.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-03-27

The rapid growth OF the Young Wo-
mems Christian association is not alto
gether due to the prospect of the new
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-03-27
WHEN OUT OF TOWN.

Subscribers leaving the citY tenn.
porarily should hnge The bee
mailed TO them. Address Will be
changed as often as requested.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-03-27

STATEMENT or CIRCULATION.
State OF Nebraska, Douglas County, 81;
Charles O. Rosewater, general mahs,sS,I
Of The Bee Pubiishing company, being duly
sworn, says that the actual NUMBER on iun
and complete copies Of The Daily, Mornl ~,
Evening end Sunday Bee printed durulB lho
NINTH Of rnhrtiarv 1An1 was "a folloWs.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-03-27

Net total' .,..,.s.s...s.s..s' ''eee'SoI
Daily average. ...............,... S1,677
CHARLES G. ROSEWATER,
General Manager,
Subscribed IN my presence and sworn to
before me this LIST day of March, 1907.
(SeaD M. b. HUNGATE,
Notary Public
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-03-27

Farmer Haysede-The Agricultural de-
partment gives us free seed.
Farmer Corncrib-Then the weather bur
eau sends US storms to wash IL out.--New
York Sun. ..
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-03-27

How'd yer come to be thrown out Of
work, pard?"
81 got out" replied Tired Tifins, with
dignity. 81 didn't halter be thrown OUT
Washington Herald.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-03-27

II understand your new automobile has
made a big hit?'
do you refer TO popular admiration, or
to the fire hydrant l knocked over2"-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-03-27
ROUND ABour NEW YoRK.
Ripples ON the Current OF Life In this
MetropoIia

ANANRAta on the Current OF Lire IN Nne
Metropolis.
An unlimited caller Of the dark lantern
variety slipped into a boarding house on
West Thirteenth street at en- unseemly
hour IN the morning and found the land
lady busy with breakfast foods and things.
The landlady weighs 1s5 pounds and didn't
shy a little bit, nor did she scream. Find
ing HIS retreat by the front door cut OF
the visitor struck a prize fighting attitude,
It did not dismay her She rushed past
his guard and, selzing him by the collar,
shook him until his teeth ratified. Then she
proceeded to give the final lesson. Now,
sonny" she remarked In a woodshed tone,
'Ill teach you not to break into my
house," faking on her slipper she flpped
the Inundated burglar across her knee and
spanked him soundly Returning the slip
per to its place the husky landlady took
her burglar by the ear, led him TO the
street and passed him up to a policeman.
Such is the stun of which heroines are
made.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-03-27

Teacher--wilie, where is the alimentary
canal?
Willie (eagerly)-It's down there in
Panama where the sports straw hats come
from.-Baltlmore American.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-03-27

Everyone is so pressing in attentions to
me-" sighed the electric doorbell.
"But when you don't answer / get the
knocks" complained the door.-Baltimore
American.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1907-03-27

what Is a brain Storm"
"Wen, = answered Farmer Corntossel, "as
near as kin make out, it's somethin' like
sayin appendicitis Std o. stomach ache. tie
an expensive name for mighty common
complaint. Washington Star,
Troy weekly news. (Troy, Idaho) 1897-1933, 1907-02-08
Severe WEATHER
THOUGH MONTANA

Winter weather throughout northern
Montana is now more severe than Sat
any time for 81 years Not wheel is
turning on the main line of the Great
Northern. In the drifts west of Havre
seven Oriental Limited passenger trains
are stalled, and to the east five mole
are similarly situated.
The temperature IN Great Falls on
Tuesday ranged from IA to % below
zero, in Havre from 30 to A below,
and it is reported that in Valley coun-
ty the temperature Monday was around
so below. AT most points in north
ern Montana a blizzard has ragged for
hours past.
At Chouteau five inches of snow fell
in 10 hours and fuel is so scarce that
coal is being sold in lots of from 100
to 200 pounds. The Indians in that
vicinity are suffering severely, and To
remove any possibility of desperate
reds pillaging the ranches they are be-
ing fed by the county authorities.
Ranchmen along the Missouri river
in the vicinity of Popular are said to
be short of food and fuel, being unable
TO reach settlements, even on snow
shoes. Leedy, a settlement located 81
miles south of Malta, has been isolated
for nearly seven weeks, the last person
to reach that point on the railroad hay
ing made the trip the week before
Christmas. There has been no mail il
there since December 20.
John McMinnon, employed in thu
mine of the International Coal com
pany at Bear creek, near Red Lodge
was found frozen to death near tina
company's property. MoMinnon ha,
been drinking heavily. From the plac
his body was found it is supposed b
became bewildered and left the rail
road track at the wrong place, gettin
into draw and peIishing.
Troy weekly news. (Troy, Idaho) 1897-1933, 1907-02-08

Grippe.-This most distressing Of
modern diseases Is recurrent again
With the approach of the winter sea-
son. An effectual remedy Is composed
Of acetanilid, one-half dram, salol and
soda salicylate, each one dram, made
INTO twelve capsules and one taken ev-
cry three hours until relieved. Two
or three of these capsules have been
Known to effect a cure in one day.
Nervous Prostration.-Oste Is
very fine for a nervous person, but out
door life and change of climate are
even better. Anything that occupies
the mind pleasantly, that cheers the
heart and is a decided change will help
one who is suffering from nervous pros
tration. This unpleasant affection is
largely the result of lack of control.
The victim can overcome the trouble
with determination and will If the dis
ease is not permitted to get too firm a
hold.
Indigestion.-A most common form
Of dyspepsia Is acidity in which when
a little Of the gastric contents Is re
gurgitated 1t burns the throat like a
corrosive acid. 1t likewise burns the
stomach so that the pain sometimes be-
comes intolerable. Strange to say, 1t
ofttimes subsidies If the patient lies
down for the recumbent posture alters
the position of the fluid in the stomach.
Occasionally eating freely will bring
ease and relief-in fact, it seems, to
start digestion afresh and effectively.
Medicines are palliative In acidity OF
the stomach, but will not compensate
for deficiency of exercise. Magnesia
carbonate Is useful in doses Of five OF
ten, or even twenty grains in wine
glass of water. To relieve at once, soda
bicarbonate Is doubtless unequaled and
from six to twelve tabloids may bt
taken at a Dose The difficulty witt
soda is that 1t does not tend to cure sc
effectively as does the potash bicarbon
ate.
Troy weekly news. (Troy, Idaho) 1897-1933, 1907-02-08
ARTIFICIAL ICE is CHEAP.
Supply of the Natural Product, How
ever, Controls the Price.

supply of the Natural Product, How
ever, Controls the Price.
A curious phase of the ice trade is
found in the fact that artificial Ice
can be and is produced In unlimited
quantities and yet the price Is regu-
lated by the source of natural supply
which Is scarcely drawn upon. The
ice trade of the tropics is n thing of
the past. AS late as 1890 a fleet Of
ships was engaged in this traffic, car
rying ice all the year round to the
West Indies, to Bombay, Calcutta and
Singapore, and even to the China seas.
that has now been driven to seek other
cargoes. The local Ice machine has
supplanted the cargo Ice altogether.
The frozen meat ships from this coun-
try, from Australia and the River Plate
all make their own ice, and the
storehouses have their artificial plants,
which also supply in large measure
the local companies. In 1890 thirty
five ships laden with ice from Maine
entered at the port of Calcutta. In
1900 there was one, and since then
none at all.
Rockland Lake used to cut and store
for summer use in a season 10000 tons
of ice. This year it stored less than
5000 tons.
There is a demand for natural ice
because, paradoxically enough, 1t melts
faster and more evenly than the arti-
fetal product and will chill an icebox
or refrigerator more rapidly and eff
fectively. 1t is more expensive at the
same price than artificial Ice because
II is not so durable. Meanwhile the
cost of artificial Ice production after
the plant is established is reduced ap-
proximately to 2 cents hundred
pounds. On the authority of experts
Ice could be sold to consumers at a
fair profit at not TO exceed 1919 cents
a hundredwelght. 1t is not. The price
I'm New York Is so cents a hundred
weight with a prospect Of going higher
for reasons that have no basls.-New
York Press.
Troy weekly news. (Troy, Idaho) 1897-1933, 1907-02-08
Legacy of Pillows.

"See what a haul I've made" and
The bachelor maid surveyed her divan
with an exultlng eye.
Eight new pillows-and real downy
down, tool Where in the world did
you get them asked the girl friend
envlously. Real down is SO horribly
expensive"
"Well, you know my brother Is 10 be
married this week. He Is giving up
his den, OF course, and these pillows
are the gifts of different girls whom
he admired or hirted with or was en-
gagged to during his bachelor career.
His intended is of rather a jealous dis
position and Bob says frankly he'd
have to explain away every one OF those
pillows If he took them TO tn; new
home. It's easier to cut loose from
the lot than to say where l got them
and answer questions he told me 'ast
night in confidence, so the whole bunch
is yours, sis, with my blessing. -
Chicago Inter Ocean
Troy weekly news. (Troy, Idaho) 1897-1933, 1907-02-08
LATE NEWS ITEMS.

A snowslide at Spring Mountain,
Idaho. overwhelmed a miners cabin
and killed William Thorton. Two
other men in the cabin were uniu jured
and fourth man in the path of the
avalanche escaped by climbing tree
The bodies of Westley E. Banks and
Robert Chandler, who were frozen to
death on their ranch near Hayes, have
been taken to Pierre, S. d. They went
to Dakota recently from Mount Vernon
KY. and were operating large sheep
ranch.
Troy weekly news. (Troy, Idaho) 1897-1933, 1907-02-08
Inviqorate the Digestion.

To invigorate the digestion and
stimulate the torpid liver and bowels
there's nothing SO good as that old
family remedy, Brandreth's Pills,
which has been in use for over a cen
fury. They cleanse the blood and i'm
part new vigor to the body. One or
two every night for week will usual
ly be all that is required. For Consti-
patton Or Dyspepsia one or two taken
every night will in a short time afford
great relief.
Brandreth's Pills are the same fine
laxative tonic pill your grandparents
used, and being purely vegetable, are
adapted to every system.
Sold in every drug and medicine
store, either plain or sugar coated.
Troy weekly news. (Troy, Idaho) 1897-1933, 1907-02-08

1t Is no new thing to say that woman
has more potentiality for powerful emo
tion than man, but the world Is just
beginning to awaken to the deep, re
Ientless and implacable hated that an
mates the women of Russia's dreaded
flying section" and impels them to
deeds of almost inconceivable daring.
The last victim of her own revolu-
tionary enthusiasm is Sofa Konopluni-
kova, hanged for the murder of Gen.
Min, commander of one Of those Mos
cow regiments which slaughtered hun
dreds during recent uprising. Wait
ing quietly on the railway station plat
form at Peterhof at close range, she
deliberately fired five shots into the
body of the hated commander, and Their
submitted to arrest.
There was no opportunity for escape
nor did she seek one. Long before the
pistol was lifted she had steeled hel
heart to the inevitable.
"I gave my life" she said quietly
as she ascended the steps to the gal
lows-"all l had to give"
Unhappy Russial What must peo
pie suffer when their women go serene
ly to their death as to their brida
feast?
Troy weekly news. (Troy, Idaho) 1897-1933, 1907-02-08
MOSQUITO AS CHICKEN FEED.
Investigator Finds Poultry Tbrises
on the Summer Pest.

Investigator Finds Poultry ThriSes
the Summer Pest.
1t has remained for William A.
Woodbury., of $50 9th avenue, to dis
cover that the mosquito has CONNER
clal value and that it should be cult
waited instead of eradicated. says the
New York World
Mr.. Woodbury. Is the man who gain
ed notoriety year ago by Offering a
reward of 81 600 for a married man
that could prove that he was perfect
ly contented. The reward was never
paid.
Mr. Woodbury. has a summer home
on Oak Island, Just across the water
from Long Beach, l.. l.
while | was Il sworn enemy at first"
said he to a World reporter, Il now
know that mosquitoes were sent here
for some good purpose. l have discov-
cred that mission.
There is nothing In the world that
ducks and chickens thrive on so much
as they do on flies and mosquitoes.
1--WE all know that flies and other
Insects are attracted by light Well,
one night l set up a net with large
opening and brilliant light at the
small end. The result was astonish
ing The next morning the net was
filed with mosquitoes. flies and bugs
of different. varieties | fed them to
the chickets. Other nets were set up
In the salt marshes. Very soon there
was a noticeable diminution of mos
quitoes and we could sleep undisturb-
ed.
During the summer l have succeed
ed In catching about a ton of mosqui-
toes. What l propose to do Is to organ
ize company, take the mosquitoes,
pour cornmeal or shorts over them and
grind them up with oyster and clam
shells that are thrown out from the
summer hotels There Is no more ex-
r cellent chicken or duck feed.
o an this simple manner | expect TO
g obtain enough food for a large hem
merry all winter and materially cheaper
l. the price of Long Island ducks and
e broiled chickens, while Kidding the re-
e sort of the one-time pests"
Mr. Woodbury. said he had submit
ted his scheme to number of wealthy
~ Long Island residents and that they
!, will back him in the new project to
3 any reasonable amount
Troy weekly news. (Troy, Idaho) 1897-1933, 1907-02-08
Education.

The principal of one of Washington's
high schools relates an incident in con-
nection with the last commencement
day of the institution mentioned. A
clever girl had taken one of the prin-
cipal prizes At the close of the exer-
cises her friends crowded about her to
offer congratulations.
weren't you awfully afraid< you
wouldn't get 1t, Hattie" asked one,
"when there were so many contest
ants :"
"Oh, mop cheerily exclaimed Hattie.
Because 1 knew that when it came to
English composition I had 'em all skin
ned alive" -Harper's Weekly.
Troy weekly news. (Troy, Idaho) 1897-1933, 1907-02-08
Makes New Pacific Record.

Victoria, B. c., Feb. 5.-The steamer
Empress of China, which has reached
William head quarantine station,
broke the record held by the Empress
of Japan, making the fastest trip made
between Yokohama and this port.
She occupied 10 days, three hours
80 minutes from Yokohama to quaran
tine. The Empress of Japan's time was
10 days, 10 hours.
Troy weekly news. (Troy, Idaho) 1897-1933, 1907-02-08
Asks o.ooo. 600 for KINGSTON

Kingston, jamaica Feb. 6.-rhs re-
construction committee appointed by
Archbishop Nuttall to carry on rebuild
ing of the city met recently and passed
a resolution to ask the imperial gov
eminent to advance loan of $1,000
900 at low rate of interest, to be re
paid in 20 years.
Troy weekly news. (Troy, Idaho) 1897-1933, 1907-02-08
An Optimist,

Hawker-'T am going to take va
cation now for two weeks"
Walker-"Is that so? Isn't 1t queer
that your employer should let you go
now, just at the busiest season of the
year,"
Hawker-"Oh, well, they've got an
other man in my place. They told me
| needn't come back. '-Somerville
Journal.
Troy weekly news. (Troy, Idaho) 1897-1933, 1907-02-08
Classification.

What do you think of my presiden-
tial BOOM"
Its too early" answered Senator
Sorghum "You won't even be one OF
those who also ran. You'll merely be
enc of those previously mentioned. -
Washington Star.
Troy weekly news. (Troy, Idaho) 1897-1933, 1907-02-08
Mexican Money,

New Orleans-For the first time in
the history of the local mint, Mexican
money is being coined here, s1,000,000
in Mexican 20 cent pieces being in
process. 1t is said that by March 80
all of the 100000 silver pieces will
be ready for shipment to Mexico.
Troy weekly news. (Troy, Idaho) 1897-1933, 1907-02-08

and how to cure
them. Mrs. w. G. Da-
Wis, of Groesbeck,
Tex, says: Back
aches hurt me so |
could hardly stand.
Spells of dizziness
and sick headaches
" ere frequent aud
the action OF the kid
neys was irregular.
Soon after | began
Troy weekly news. (Troy, Idaho) 1897-1933, 1907-02-08
An Ingenious Confession.

What is your favorite poem?" ask
ed the literary young woman.
Il haven't any" answered Mr.. Cum
rox. THE only verses l can remember
are those of Mother Goose, and they
aren't the kind of nonsense tliat critics
approve f."-Washington Star.
Troy weekly news. (Troy, Idaho) 1897-1933, 1907-02-08

taking Doans Kidney Pills l passed
several gravel stones. | got we'll and
The trouble has not returned. My back
is good and strong and my general
health better"
Sold by all dealers. so cents box
FoSter-Milburn Co., Buffalo, n. Y.