Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1907-09-05

'''''sS home1y illustra- tions. pcrnaps it would be just a$ well not to seek for many other re semblancc>. but in witty remarks and pat anecdotes ex-Secretary Shaw does approach the great war president.
 Here is sample of the aptness of bis stories:
 A man went to him one day when there was talk of some customs frauds in New York to ask if he intended starting an investigation.
 "I knew a fellow once," said Mr. Shaw, "who hunted foxes with brass band. IA very long and embarrass ing pause, while the secretary went OF signing his mail.] He didn't get an! 1 foxes'
 One day Justice Harlan of the sr- preme court, propounded this query to Shaw:
 "Mr. Secretary, what is the differ ence between statesman and pol; tician?"
 Quick as thought came the answer:
 Its the difference between the young man seeking a position and the boy looking for job"
 4 friend of the family once remark cd to the secretary:
 Mrs. Shaw is so kind, isn't she?''
 "Kind?" repeated Mir. Shaw. Mrs Shaw would be kind to her own execu- tioner."
 When the treasury portfolio was Of. 4ered 10 Governor Shaw, his friends, in his presence, were speculating as tt whether he would accept or not. He set their minds at rest by telling tie following story:
 Two boys, Bill and Bob, were~;t the dinner table. Some time before the end of the meal the pie was possct'. Bill declined to take any, saying he was not yet ready for the dessert. Bo? helped himself to the biggest piece ol the plate and. turning to Bill, remark ed. Bill allus take pie when pie i~ passin''
 The treasury department had q hi, nor employee named Mike, who went 1 on periodical sprees. But he was con sidered indispensable. so was taken back each time. Mir Shaw learned 0! this and asked the delinquents immr diate superior. What would you do il Mike were dead:' "Oh. 1 suppose WI would have to straighten out thing ourselves. Well. so far as this d. partment is concerned, Mike is dea,. 1 So begin and straighten.''
 When he was secretary he always wanted to help people if he could. bus 1 much 2s be desired to assist one won.- 1 an 10 a position. he saw it was impoS i sible. 1 T tell you how it is. my good wont- an,' he said finally, I'm always will ing 10 climb a tree for anybody, but couldn't climb a greased pole 10 please my mother. I want to help you, but l simply cant do it'' Senator Depew once raised a great laugh at a London banquet by quoting the following poem as coming from Shaws pen:
 GO ask papa" the maiden said. 1 He knew that her papa was dead
 He also knew the life he'd led
 And understood her when she said,
 "Go ask papa
 Engishmen are said to be slow in seeing a joke, but even they caught on to the girls polite method of telling an unwelcome suitor to go to the inferna, regions.
 When Shaw was governor, he was one day making a speech in which he was often interrupted by one man in the audience This individual butted in once too often. In an unhappy mo- ment he broke in with Pardon me- but
 Before he could finish the governor replied: Well, I've pardoned lots worse fellows than you in my time and l presume it would be unjust to draw the line here."
 The fellow sat down, and during the remaining two hours of the address there were no more interruptions.
 Governor Shaw once addressed a letter to his wife as follows:
 The Best Woman In the World,