The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1907-12-23
john Wesley Gaanes's RetFenchment
Commission

COm mhhbhOUs
Where is JOHN WESLEY GAINES, the
human devil wagon of Tspnessee, the wild
huntsman Of the tobacco trust, the palla-
dunn Of liberty, the wide open bag Of
EoLUs, the Grand Canon Of wisdom, the
Niagara Falls Of Oratory? So millions muir
INJURED with whits lips when the House Of
Representatives OF the Sixtieth Congress
met for the first time. Had the tobacco
trust kidnapped himp Had another attack
Of suppressed oratory laid him up? From
that day the alarm grew. He has not been
seen, his hoary hair streaming in disorder,
sprinting down the aisle in pursuit OF ONE
soothless i~nsultsr. He a not concealed
in the pocket Of the Hon. OLLIE JAMES, the
Kentucky Og. The ladies in the gallery
looked in vain for the Nashville NarcissUs.
The Capitol guides couldn't get any BUSH
ness, since there was nothing to see.
flushed were the torrent and the thunder
Of his many voices. With agonized heart
the nation walled:
" JOHN WESLEY GAINES. JOHN WESLEY GAINES.
Thou monumental pile Of brains.
The worlds a frost II thou art lost.
JOHN wRsLKT CANINE. JOHN WESLEY GAINRsl-
DIR. GAINES is not lost. He cOmes back
to us; and sweet gales "a from deep gar
dens blow before him. The air OF great
ness rustles in Ii. r. 1851, his measur
brought in the other day and now keep
ing busy the Committee on Reform in tho
Civil Service. II is a bill to create
re~trenchment commission" and so on.
A heaven Born statesman's way of re-
~trenchment is to spend more money.
Mr.. GAINES proposes that Congress APP
propriate not more than $3.50, OOO-but Of
course that sum is only a ~begiRner-tO
the organization OF retrenchment. The
retrenchment commission il to consist of
five persons of high practical business
experience, one each to be selected from
the five political parties, to wit, a Re-
publican, a Democrat. a POpulite Lsicl, a
Labor Party man and a Single Taxer,"
TO be appointed by the President and 90
retrench at $40 a day and expenses. DIR.
GAINES loves to forget the Prohibition
lists and the Independence League.
Doubtless he has good reasons, but might
not the retrenchment commission be
itself retrenched? Tom JOHNSON, for
example, is a Democrat and a Single
Taxer. and MIR. BRYAN ia n Roosevelt
Republican. a Bryan Democrat, n Popu-
list or Populite and a Labor Partyite.
The commission il to investigate the
departments to find out among other
things what bureaus, divisions or sub
departments may be abolished" Con-
gress loves to creat a bureau; to destroy
one il impossible. Meanwhile the chief
end Of government is to provide for COM
missioners at $40 a day or upward. DIR.
GAINEs's J~effcrsonian Democracy, purer
than the mountain brooks of Tennessee,
IN faithful to that essential principle Of
five or five hundred parties. He does
not forgot a liberal number Of clerks,
! stenOgraphers and assistants 10 the COM
missiOncrs, and he ~retrenches further by
arranging for a full house Of sub-com-
missiOners, duly provided with clerks
and assistants:
1t shall be the duty Of the retrenchment com
mission 70 appoint or employ three honorable and
capable men. one each q Republican. a Democrat,
and a Populite in politics. for each pension district
as now established by Law: Provided. that neither
OF them shall be appointed for the district In which
he resides drehas rslded. and alt OF them 70 be
ex United States soldiers and pensioners. whose
duty IL shall be To investigate the pension roll in
their respective districts. person by person"
You can't pry into this bill anywhere
without finding gold. The commission
ers are to bring about "the readjustment
Of salaries on the basis that obtains in
private business and in keeping with
the general and universal diminutiOn in
prices under the single gold -standard."
The general and universal diminuti6n
in prices! DIR. GAINES Is scarcely more
ilustriOus al a general statesman than
az a specialist in political economy Az
with new admiration we leave him, an
other stanza Of the Tennessee hymn
smites gayly on the ear:
" Compared with GAINEs. JOHN WESLEY GAINES.
That monumental pile Of brains,
odADAM SMTrH's q lurdsn dense. RIcARDo looks
like thirty cents.
And cen Cons HARvKI's glory wanes..
JoHN WESLEY GAINES. JOKH WESLEY GAENnsi-
The commissioners OF the i've parties
areto have even moreimportant function,
than retrenchment and subretrenchment.
They are to lend a hand to Congress and
the Supreme Court. 1t shall be their
duty: ''" ~
ITO inquire particularly into the constitutions
power OF Congress To appropriate money for inter
nal improvements. and also the utility and adj
visibility Of exercising such power " It exists. nnC
TO formulate a system that shall limit the indIs
crIminate practice and bhn1 IL within the bound
Of national necessity. with . view 70 curtaIling q
the minimum appropriations FOR local purposel
and TO limit within narrower bounds the eKpendI
ture Of public moneys upon local dement's; and II
order 20 facilitate It's work In this particular tn,
rstrenchnhent commission snail appoint three per
sons learned In thu law. OF high practical business
experience and Of the three different pOiltlca
parties. TO investigate and report 20 It on the mat
tiers provided In this section
Observe the wisdom Of the require.
ment: three persons learned in the