Evening star., 1907-08-18
BY CLARENCE L. CULLEN.

Elephantiasis is a good long word and a
significant one. It's the name Of q tropical
disease When you are grabbed oy Gle
phantiasis you swell up most stupendously
and most dishgurngly.
Chiefly, your head swells. I've seen
cases Of elephantiasis-aroundo on Islands In
the equatorial Pacific mainly-in which the
| victims heads were swollen to nearly twice
their normal size.
Well. this being a little talk about base
| ball and things, what on earth has ele-
phantiasis got to do with itP
Oh, nothing, except that-it is grievous
to have to admit-there are a whole lot OF
base ball players, and getting to be more
of them all the time who suffer from eie-
phantiasis, speaking now purely in the hs-
urative sense.
Base ball players who develop the puf1y-
wuffies Swollen ones. Players who accu-
! mulate too great an expansion OF the SKY
piece. Diamond performers VINO suuer
from the enlarged lid.
Can anybody who follows the major
league game at all closely, and who studies
the conduct Of the performers, doubt thar
there are a lot Of them, and that they are
increasing in number at an astonishlns
I think not I know noti There isn't a
chance in the world to doubt II: 49,. foT Toine tne
things to reveal their condition all the
time.
More than that It Is impossinle e TO & SUPPOSE pose
thing, assuming that they have the intelli.
gence Of boys nine years OF age. But
they go right on elephantiasis-ing all the
same. They can't help It. The head-en-
larging microbe works while they sleep.
The first symptom OF 1t Is peevlshness
They want lot Of pampering, and then
some more. They 60 IN 10 TOR that that arn1 grand
thing to swirl right in their direction or
they become real annoyed. SO they do.
Some More Symptoms.
Then. as the elephantiasis increases. they
become lust sulky They amt bein' ham
died right, seer They're not appreciated.
un'stan'P Amt they winnin' most o tn
clubs eamesf Heyq Well? Amt they hit
tin aroun' 3Oo3 Heyf Well? Amt they
deliverin' tn goods more'n anybody else in
the outft7 Hey? Wellf All right. They
amt bein' handled right. that's all. They're
gittin' a punk deal. They're not appreciat-
ed. They're tired O. tn club. They know
where they can git what's comm { them.
club. seer They know how much they're
worth Nobody has to tell 'em that. What's
more, they know where they can git what
they're worth. They know somethin' about
y
buttinsh dubs O. skinned-lotters that-well,
they got nothin' t say about anybody. but
they know what they want, an they re
goin' t. git 1t. see? And all like that.
Thus the elephantiasis-afiict ball play
er all the way from Bangor. Me-. to The
Dalles, Ore, and from Detroit to the gulf.
The disease hits them all about the same
way. They all say virtually the same
things. They all imagine that the visible
universe and the unseen solar systems re-
volve around them. And It's hard to clout It
out of them. Some Of them never get over
1t. It takes some awful swats from the
mailed fist of Fate to fetch too-conceited
ball player back to himself.
Why they swell up no sentient human be-
ing on earth can tell
What would the average overly-conceited
ball player be doing if he were not playing
ball? Well, there are trucks to drive, and
such like.
And is their contention that they don't
git what's comm Z them" ever. by the re-
motest possible chance, true contention?
Never at No Time.
It sure 10 not-neveri The value OF ball
player to his team is appraised to hair.
If he's a crackerjack, he's well-nigh worth
his weight in platinum. And maybe the
owners OF a ball club don't know the value
of the good player! Maybe, too, they don't