The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-05-08
SOME NEWSPAPER
CMAFF.
*++**+++**+**4*s*++++**++


said ef he had II { spare
He'd buy all tn circuses goin' an
open 'em free everywhere.
He'd give every youngster a pony an
buy every girl wax doll
An ten-dollar bills would be flynn as
IL they ives nothin' at all!
He'd start up place in each city
where ice cream an cake would
be free.
An think nothin' more Of a million
than we would think pennies
would be;
He'd give away farms to his neigh.
bors. an show folks such wonder
full sights
They'd think that Jim Smith was
Aladdin, right out of Arabian
Nights!
An always when Jim was a-spendin',
Hamp Hawkins. tn timer, would
say
How them as has money they keep
II,
An them as hain't give 1t away!
j. W. Foley.
There was new waiter at the Law
yers Club. New York, to whom "A
member said. Bring me same smelts.'
The man said, Yes, sir" looking du'
bious and went away. 10 the attend
ant at the serving table he said,
There is a guy out there who wants
some smells. Shall | give him lin.
burger e?"-Kansas City Star.
Senator Tillman was attacking AN
offender who had pleaded a hypocrit- |
cal and false excuse.
why" he cried. the man is worse |
than that rich coal dealer who said to
his welgh-clerk during a blizzard:
"Jim, make that ton of coal for
Smith $50 pounds short. Mrs. Smith |
is a poor, delicate widow, and she will
have to carry all Of It up two steep |
flights OF stairs. I don't wait her to
overtax her strength. Exchange.
=
when Chappie got up the other
morning he wandered around his
apartments in his pretty pink pajam-
as. the very picture of woe.
whats the matter, sir?' inquired
his valet.
81 don't know, Alphonse," he groan-
ed: II passed most unhappy night
Alphonse looked him over careful
ly.
"Oh. sir" he exclaimed, Il know
what was the matter. The trouscr-
ines OF your pajamas were not creas'
ed. You must be more careful, sir,
Those had prepared for you were
hanging across the foot of the bed
Tho Bohemian.
Mr.. Ferguson. two of whose down
town friends had just dined with him,
had taken them into the library for
smoke. II must tell you good one
on my wife, he said. shes been
roasting me because | look at the
headlines in the papers once in a
while to see II anything important is
happening in the Thaw trial, Wen.
the other afternoon, while the gill
was away, she put pan OF biscuits
in the oven to bake, and while she
was waiting she picked up paper
and began 70 read the stun herself.
She got so interested in 1t that she
let the biscuits At this moment
Mrs. Ferguson came irto the library
for book. And the joke of 1t was,
continued Mr.. Ferguson. without
moments pause, that they found the
COW next morning in fortv-acre lot
"Ha! ha ha," roared the guests
laughing till the tears ran down their
cheeks-but not at the story.-Chi-
cago Tribune.
One night last spring stock COM
pany was playing "Othello' to large
and enthusiastic audience AT the
point of the fifth act where Othello
cries, 1T is too late!" and smothers
Desdemona with pillow, the audi
ence was aroused TO high pitch OF
excitement. Suddenly burst of con
vulsive laughter pealed forth from
the gallery. Othello at first paid no
attention to the disturbance ard went
on with his lines: "Not dead! not
vet quite dead" when another and
more uproarious guffaw coupled with
the contagious gigling OF hundred
women, struck terror to the hearts OF
the actors and made the continuance
of the performance impossible. Othel-
10 arose In rage, strobe down stage
and called the curtain.