Troy weekly news. (Troy, Idaho) 1897-1933, 1907-11-22


Dot (meeting JOHNNY have found
you out. Johnny-what am 1? Dot
Nobody. Johnny-Goodness gracious.
am discovered!
Pa-Why did you go out in the rain
today without an umbrella, John?
JOHNNY ate salt mackerel this morn
Ing for breakfast, and that keeps me
dry.
Johnny-Say, dad, if l ate a chop
and you ordered one and ate it, what
would your phone number be? Pa
Give it up, son. Johnny-It would be
-.
Little Edna-What is leisure"
mamma? Mamma-It's the spare time
a woman has in which she can do some
other kind of work, my dear-Chicago
Daily News.
He (sententiously)- always speak
my mind. She (tartly)-I suppose
that is why you have the reputation of
being a man of so few words.-Balti.
more American.
Mother-Whateve are you doing to
poor dolly, child? Child-I'm just 60
ing to put her to bed, mummy. I've
taken Off her hair, but l can't get her
teeth out.-Sourire.
Old Lady Improving the occasion)-
You know, boys, it's only the body
which lies here. Now, what is it goes
to Heaven? Small Boy tentatively
Is cad, mum.-Pick-Me-Up
Nell-Yes, she said her husband mar
ried her for her beauty. What do you
think of that? Belle-Well, think her
husband must feel like widower now.
Catholic Standard and Times.
Mistress-Bridget, have you cement
ed the handle on to the Watering
which you dropped yesterday? Bridget
i started to, Mum, but most unfor-
tunately | dropped the cement BOTTLE
Punch.
1.-The body of the late Major Jinks
was cremated." what they goin to
do with it," Ills widow has him
corked up in fruit jar. Says it's the
last OF the family jars."-Atlanta Con.
stitution.
The Wife, during a quarrel-I'm 20
ing right home to mother; so therel
The Observation-Disclosures right, dear, Of
two evils always choose The less. Please
don't bring your other here.-Yon-
kers Statesman.
Pa-You naughty boy, you've been
fighting again Johnny-No, pa, was
only trying to keep a bad boy from
hurting a little boy. Pa-That was a
noble act, my son who was the little
boy? Johnny-Me.
Department Store Manageable
clerk in the butter department says he's
not going to lie about our butter any
more. The Boss-What salary does he
get? Manager-Eight dollars week.
The Boss--Give him nine.
Sweet Singer-De Hammer says he
has high place in the next show he
goes out with. Comedian-Well,
should say it rs high. He sits in the
flies and tears up paper for the snow
storm scene.-Chicago News
Dot heard your soldier brother
wrote you a birthday letter. Was there
any war news in it? johnny don't
know. You see it was printed on the
envelope Return in five days" So
kept 1t that long and then sent it back.
Waiter Girl Gin restaurant) -Weve
got frogs legs. chicken llvers. calves
brains and-Johnny turning to his
pal say, dad, they must be queer
people who live in this place. Don't
you think they ought to call in a doc
tor?
'Is Mrs. Wise at homer inquired
Mrs Chatters. standing in the shadow
of the doorway. Il don't know, ma'am,'
replied the servant. II can't tell till
git better look at We. If we've wart
on the side o. yer nose, maam, sne
ain't."-Philadelph Press.
Thar. my son, you see what larnin
done fer yer daddy, don't you?' what
nav" "Why, jest as soon as the gov
er'mint knowed that he could do figgers
in his head they p'inted him postmaster
at $50 a year, an purity soon he'll be
sellin' stamps what goes on letters =
Atlanta Constitution.
what would like" said the eager
young actress, "is a part with a death
scene in it. never fail to make big
hit when l die" Il don't doubt IT,
replied the heartless manager, "aud
may say that you would make the Dig
gest hit of your life If you would go
away somewhere and die right now. -
Chicago Record-Herald.
Johnny (sitting up in his bed at
70 80 d. m.)-Dad, I'm so thirsty. Pa