Smyrna times., 1907-07-24
SHORT AND SNAPPY
ITEMS OF INTEREST
CLEANED BY OUR WASH
INGTON CORRESPONDENT
Clever Hits on Big Men and Great
Questions Which are Uppermost
in the Public Eye of the Week


The Keep Commission i'll Washing
ton is formulating a plan for pension
ing superannuated employees of the
Government. The object of such an
endeavor is two-fold, the primary one
being that in this way Chiefs of De-
partments will be enabled to cut the
dead wood out of the Departments
without the heart breaking business
of turning the old and decrepit
creatures out into the world helpless
and penniless, and the secondary one
is, of course, consideration for the aged
employe. The wisdom of the whole
scheme is doubtful, even though it is
philanthrOpic. The wisdom of the
whole scheme is doubtful, even though
it is philanthropic The Government
clerk is well paid, and his pay is regu-
lar and unfailing. He knows that he
will remain in office as long as he does
his work, and until recently has known
he would remain there whether he did
it or not. There is no reason whv
nine out of every ten clerks who are in
the Government service twenty or
more years cannot save enough from
their salary to insure themselves a
competence for their old age. But the
average Government clerk does not
save. He belongs to a well-dressed,
semi-leisurely class, and his social or
sporting ambition is generally ahead
OF his pocketbook. By taxing the
country to pay him pension we are
diverting the money from other causes
which may be more altruistic. There
IS no precariousness about the
wage OF a Government clerk. He
knows if he chooses to liye beyond his
means and his family encourages him
in doing it, 1t is hardly the office of the
Government to step in and protect him
from the effect of his own folly. Let
the money go to good roads or some
other project for benefting the farmer
whose precarious living is decided by
elements which he cannot control.
The memoirs of Ellen Terry pub
lished in McClure's have come to a
sudden stop, owing to the discovery
that they were published in the identi-
cal form number of years ago. The
some old failingl. People will forget
that they told you the story before.
The health commissioner of Balti-
more says that the idea that there is any
danger in kissing is all bosh. He has
never known any harm to come from
from it. This will be good news to the
political candidates whose districts in
clude large families of children.
Admiral Yamomoto, in speaking to
tho reporters, said with difficulty
'Mueh lies with your pens" He eyi.
IDENTIFY came nearer the truth than ht
intended.
1t was thoughtful of the Yellowstone
Park waitress to fall in the Lake in
stead of geyser Vice President Fair
banks might have hesitated to rescue
her from boiling spring.
There appears to be one distinguish
ing difference between Bryan anC
Judge Parker. Mr.. Bryan is tenaciou
of his own opinions and Judge Parker
is tenacious of other people.
The vogue for European manners il
this country seems to be on the in
crease. In the latest multimillionair
scandal, the husband received $500, 90
before he would consent to divorce.
Apseudo scientist asserts that tber,
will be perfect peace in all parts of tn
world three thousand years from now
OF course, everyone knows that Sens
tor Tillman will not be here then.
A London authoress says she he
never met an American who was
gentleman. She ought to make an e
fort to get out of the Bohemian set.
President Roosevelt appears to hav
qualified for the Maud Muller clas
but at least he can never be among Il
"might have beens."
Mr.. Bryan has tried to answer Il
question "What is a Democrat" bat
insinuates that if the people want hi
to show them what one is they net
only elect him President.