The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1907-02-07
Shears and SaWbuck.

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Shears and SaWbuck.
IN Contributed by our Surrey correspondent
Shears and Sawbuck run store,
Such as never was before.
City folks they wouldn't sell,
Wouldn't let 'em have smell.
Fetched their money, but by jing,
Couldn't buy blessed thing.
Couldn't meet EN- face to face,
An sell EN- with good grace,
Country trade was what they sought,
Folk who'd pay for what they bought,
Fore they saw 1t hide or tail.
They sent catalogs by mail
Out to every blessed one
Gettin' mail at Postum Run.
We set up at night and read,
When we'd orter been in bed.
Book was bout as big as sin,
Had q lot Of picters in,
And lot of merchandise
Every kind and every size,
Givin' prices that they swore
Knocked out every country store;
Looked so straight and seemed so true,
bit at it, Jim did too.
Jim, my neighbor, cross the way
Best man ever worked in hay,
Jes let him top off stack,
Shed rain like turtles back.
Pleasure jes to see him work,
Never knew of him to shirk;
Swings scythe like it we're play,
Love to watch him in the hay.
Well, we lite II pair Of fools,
Sent off, cot som" haylng tools,
Jim got harnees and u plOW,
l. a range, see it now.
Darn the thing, it was SO light,
Used it for torch one night,
Throwed the darn thing in the yard,
Use it now for renderin' lard.
Fore Jim used the pillow an hour,
Found the blamed thing wouldn't scour.
Tried the harness, broke tug,
Sought for solace in his Jug,
In the cooler all that night,
Jim reflected on his plight,
, In the morning Richard Stout,
Hardware merchant bailed him out
Jim said after that he'd stick
Close'as bark to good old Dick,
Since he left the Postum Jail
Says he won't buy goods by mail.
Says Dicks cheaper anyhow,
Might have saved some on his pillow.
On the other goods some more,
At his old friends hardware store.
Jim says he can sell no truck
To such folks as Shears Sawbuck.
They'll take your ready cash away,
But won't buy our corn or hay.
That seems purity strange to me,
So told Or Jim I'd see:
So wrote to them that night
Just to see if Jim was right.
Asst EN- what they'd pay for oats,
Would they use some likely shoats?
Had about four tons of hay,
l could ship 'em right away.
Could furnish Mr.. Shears
With his family roastin' ears?
And would my friend Sawbuck
Buy some of my garden truck?
Answer come one summer day,
Said they couldn't use our hay;
Couldn't use our oats or shoats,
Didn't like our billy goats.
When they needed truck to eat,
Bought it down on Water street.
Sorry but they must refuse
Anything but cash to use.
I set down and wrote EN- then,
Hate to trouble you again,
But want to thank you sirs
For your bunch of cockleburs.
If you love yonr fellow man,
Do him good sirs when you can.
While our merchants sweetly sleep,
Shears & Sawbuck shear your sheep.
Much OF the suffering on home
steads is caused by trying tolive
in q poorly constructed shack.
81. A. Hurd will build you a home,
either a two room cottage or an
elaborate dwelling. Do not put
in another winter like this one.
See FL. "A. Hurd and figure on a
comfortable abode. tt
It's the highest standard of quality, a
natural tonic, cleanses your system, red
deas the cheeks, brightens the eyes,
gives flavor to all you eat. HOLSTERS
Rocky Mountain Tea will do this for
you. IS cents, Tea or Tablets. Mccoy
L. Co., druggists.