The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1907-06-22
NO JOY IN MI, SAYS SOBER SUE
WHATEVER HAPS, I'm ALWAYS
BLUE; AND LAUGHS ARE TEARS.
In CObey Isle Nc Smile They Keep n stUf9
Davis Made Me Weep and Close MY Fart
The Town 10 Full OF Melancholy and
Even Eddl FOy Can't jolly Me TOCheeFs

INNAN hbNID NV W DNp 0AAM ~ ~
-The Town 10 Full OF Melancholy and
Even Eddie FOy Can't Jolly Me T0CheeFs
II Sober Sue. the twenty-two-year-old
cullud' person from Philadelphia who never
has smiled can stand the gtraIn, Willie
Hamraerstein and his press agent, Johnny
Pollock, are going To- start In again early
this morning TO try 10 find somebody around
town who can make her laugh. There's
a certified check for 500 In Press Agent
Pollock's possession that will 90 to- the
one who makes Sober Sue crack her features.
The press agent has been intimating every
day to the extent Of three typewriter
pages per intimation that Sober Sue is
on the HammersteIh Roof every night, sor-
rowfully awaiting all the heavyweight
joemillers in the burg
All day yesterday Willie Hammerstein
and Johnny Pollock tried to get Fritz Goetz,
a photographer employed in a Broadway
studio, to take a picture OF Sober Sue.
Fritz started in about 8 p. NJ. to arrange
Sober Sues draperies prettily and then
when the back drop Of Niagara Falls had
been pulled into position and the camera
had been arranged and Fritz had grasped
the bulb he remarked professionally,
Look pleasant, please"
Fritz Goetz loves his art and he realizes
every minute Of the day that he has a repu-
tation to lose Fritz stood there waiting
end waiting and when his impotence had
almost reached the bursting point after
the third repetition OF the Look pleasant,
Ilease," Willie Hammerstein tiptoed over to
Fritz and explained the circumstances.
Photographer Fritz couldn't see it and re-
fused to press the bulb until Sober Sue
smiled, His reputation In the world Of
esthetics, argued Fritz, was everything
and he refused to turn out any negative
that would resemble a perspective view OF
the morgue.
All afternoon Photographer Fritz and
Press Agent Johnny argued IL out amid a
display Of oral fireworks that drew a crowd
around the street entrance to the studio.
Then Willie Hammerstein mixed in and
the result was a tongue fight thai made one
think of a blue and "a white seidlitz powder
wrestling in a rainstorm.
Willie Hammerstein gave in at last, be-
cause he knew full well that it would be
impossible 10 get Sober Sue TO look even
amiable. Since Willie and Johnny took
sober Sue to Coney Island the day before
and failed to make her look even healthy
while shooting the chutes, riding down the
Luna ticker. watching the Steeplechsse
roulette wheel and the other bits OF Coney
cuttings up, Willie says he has become
convinced that his 500 check is az safe
as if he never signed 1t. Willie has sent
Sober Sue TO all the Broadway musical
comedies to make her laugh, Which many
say was not a fair test. On Monday he
sent her over TO Jersey City to see the
side splitting clowns in H~agenbeck's circus.
Sober Sue almost burst into tears. And
then I'M fit of desperation lille and Johnny
- Ii. - 49, q. al NLaIF S-lA AVNn -
Coney.
Willie and Johnny felt sure, so Johnny
said yesterday On the Hammerstein type
writer, that Coney would get Sober Sue
going, but TO ma Ike certainty double sure
Willie and Johnny took along Stufy Davis.
The machine had scarcely started from
Porty-second street and Broadway when
Stuffy Davis started in TO make Sober Sue
chuck a fit Of merry laughter.
and an umbrellag" Stury asked George,
the chauffeur, in an ofhand way.
al don't know, Mr., Davis answered
George, trying TO control his features.
What is the difference a woman
and an umbrella"
well, you-you-you-r Stufy simply
couldn't answer then tosave his life, because
ever il he had been able to say 1t bet ween his
bursts of merriment he wouldn't have been
able to make himself heard owing To the
explosions of merTiment that we're detonat-
ing all over the gasolene g~Ocart-except
from the seat occupied by Sober Sue. Block
after block whi2aed by before Stufly could
control himself.
Zone difference. E" he gasped at last. wip-
ing his eyes, lis that you can shut up an
umbrella"
If George hadn't been an exceptionally
good auto driver the whole party would
have gone into the excavations between
the trolley tracks at Fourth avenue and
Eighteenth street. Willie and Johnny were
wrapped around each other, each holding
the others sides in their paroGysms OF
levity. Stufy was lying in the b Id Of the
gracefully at her black colt n gloves and
turned toward George the driver inquir- |
%'ngslWX; Won ever in Camden c,ws.,-
asked Sue. mo? Well. Camden is sure
certainly one grand own 1t was no Use.
The girl lacks soul,
1t took Stuffy Davis from that moment
until the machine raced into Prospect Park /
before he mustered up courage TO ask Sue !
why a chicken crosses a street. Sue inno- .
she supposed that the chicken evidently ,
desired 10 he on some other side Of the street
beside the side II was on when il started To
cross the street, After that anybody but
Stufy Davis would have been discouraged, !
but Stuhy kept right at it all over Coney
Island.
Sober Sue said she thought Coney Island
was absurd and propositions with the eX-
CeDIlOn OF the Luna NlRill anu MOIIlnR |
show. where you start in TO see hell by first
entering a huge f~redthompson coffin.
Sober Sue liked that part of the Island and
she wept because, she said, the soothing
interior Of the big coffin reminded her OF +,
Chestnut street on a Saturday night. And !
at midnight the party came back to Man
haitian without once having been able to
iron the creases ont OF Sober Sues brow.
Manager Billy Semple of The Orchid"
felt that the 500 was right in his hand |,
when Johnny Pollock took Sober Sue 10
nee Eddie Toys fight with Billy Rock in !!
the second act on Tuesday night. Billy :
Semple hurried right up to the party so :
that he could reach out for the money :
rs "The Orchid lines approached that |!
part where Eddie Foy says, My hat is on
and so am L." For some reason or other,
however, Sober Sues eyes were the only
dry ones in the house after Eddie had sprung
that one. Billy Semple explained il all TO
Sue over and over again, but she said she
could not see 1t. At Fascinating Flora"
,hn naxt NIGHT Ada IawiG bod No mora