The news=record. [volume] (Enterprise, Wallowa County, Oregon) 1907-1910, 1907-10-10
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day at that summer hotel? Jewitt-I
only know the minute price.-Town
Talk.
First Commuter-What do you do
with yourself evenings? Second Com
muter-I take the 5 :O3 train from the
city.-Puck.
"How was the comic opera? "My
wife thought the costumes were dis
gushing" II guess I'll go."-Louisyille
Courier Journal.
Cook-Now we've 'ad words, you'll
be lookln' for another cook to keep
company with? Polceman-Not me
III starve first Punch.
Hadsum-I want good revolver.
Dealer-A slx-shooter? Hadsum-Bet-
ter make 1t nine-shooter. It's for q
cat next door.-Ally Sloper
Now that your sons in college, 1
suppose he'll be getting very exclusive:
he'll be getting into the 400" "Oh, he's
more exclusive than that already; he's
on the nine. e."-Philadelphi Press
do you regard baseball as health
full game?" "Well," answered the ply
sician, II should say 1t ought to do a
great, deal toward strengthening peo-
pies lungs. s."-Washington Star.
Comparative Stranger-What's all
the excitement about? Summer Board
er-Nothing; just lynching. The man
who wrote the folders about this place
is coming down on the train.-Puck.
Yeast-Our boarding house lady has
been taking cooking lessons, and she
says next week she Is going to try her
hand In her own kitchen. Crmsonbeak
is that threat or a promise ?-Yon-
kers Statesman.
First Boy-Did you really win three
prizes at school? Second Dltto-Yes,
and one was for my excellence of men,
ory. How did you win the othersT'
1.-THE others? l forget what they were
or."-Black and White.
Father-Well, how does your husband
succeed with his art? Does he sell any
pictures? Daughter-I should think sol
Why, there Is not single one left of
those you gave us for wedding pres
ent.-Fliegende Blatter.
Mrs Goodart-I always feel so sorry
for those poor shop girls; they're so
overworked, you know. Mr. Goodart-
Well, my dear, the best way to help
them Is to keep away from bargain
sales.-Catholic Standard and Times.
Miss Elderlelgh-Jane Jones Is a
mean, spiteful old cat. Miss Younger
What's the matter? Miss Elderleigh-
told her that my family came over in
the Mayflower and she asked me If 1
was seasick.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Mr.. McDooley-Faith, an it do be a.
question Oh have fer yez, me darlin'. {.
Miss Clancey-Pfwat is itI Pat? Mr..
McDooley-Whin 1t comes tonne for
the funeral, how would yez like t. be
tn Widder McDooley?-Chicago Daily
News.
Wise-He's very wealthy. Mrs. Wise.
Yes, and very stingy and mean. Wise
Come now, you're not sure of that.
You mustn't judge man by his.
clothes Mrs. Wise-I don't. I'm judg-
Ing him by his wife's clothes.-Phila--
delphia Press.
Our engagement will have to be-
temporarily suspended" announced the
summer girl, calmly. "Oh, impossible"
the young man vowed. 1T will have to-
be. My husband writes that he Is COM
Ing down for a week."-Louisville
Courier-Journal.
my good man." said the lady mis-
slonary, 'do you ever pause to think
where you are going?" "Sure ting
replied the unlaundered hobo. "Ef
didn't l might get on de wrong freight
an land back at me startin' place -
Chicago Daily News.
do you think the time will come.
when there will be no money in poll
tics?'i said one boss. 81 don't know"
answered the other. at won't be our
fault If 1t doesn't. We have done the
best we could to take out all there was
In it.'NWashington Star.
Russian Oficial-You can not stay
In this country, sir. Ttaveler-Then,
of course. will leave 1t. "Have you a
permit to leave?" No, SIR" 'Then I
must tell you that you can not go.
give you twenty-four hours to make up
your mind as to what you will do."-
Tattler.
Train holdups," said the old trav-
eier, are nothing new for me. I've
been In lots of them" "How does it
seem to be covered with a revolverg'
asked the listener. Cant say" replied
the old traveller. "I've always been
held up with a whisk broom."-Alil-
waukee Sentinel.