The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-03-25
HUMoR OF THE DZY

HUMOR OF THE DAY
DO you think you will learn to like
Il don't know answered Mr.. Cumrox
Il can't quite tell where to place him in
my expense account. He is neither a
recreation nor an investment. Wash
ington Star.
do you think L can reach the heart Of
the naughty beauty?" sighed the senti-
mental youth with the guitar under his
Better try tunnelling, old man." adj
vised his friend.
''Tunnelling?'
yes, / heard her say you were a great
bore."-Chicago Daily News
Mrs. Church-Isn't this a dear little flat
Mrs Gotham-Yes. it is; SIS month";
Yonkers Statesman
Miffkins-what you'd you do If was
Bimkins-Td mention your indescretion
to the coroner at the inquest-Chicago
News.
IF two cars go in opposite directions
is the resuit?''
''Collision'
be going away from each other."-Phila-
delphia Public Ledger.
II admire man., said Uncle Eben,
dat keeps hopin' fob de best. But I
It DAYS se work t4 "-W Wan Star.
Her Mother-Does your husband take
you into his confidence regarding his bus
Young Wife-oh. yes; he did so only
have $50 for a new gown he said he
was very sorry, but business was SO bad
Chicago News.
Nuwed-Man never realizes the joys Of
Knott-And then It's too late to return
to them.-Judge.
II notice your daughter dances with
such graceful, free movements"
;'They amt free; she takes reg lar paid
lessons. "-Baltimore American.
Woman of the House-Did you ever earn
an honest dollar in your life?
Goodman GonrongI reckon not. ma
never got dollar fresh frei frum ho me
that.-Chicago Tribune.
You are beneath my contempt, sir"
$50 you are beneath mine, and I'm pill
ing on more every minute. "-PhiladelphiL
Ledger.
The Truant.--Father-why do you loaf
around here all day? =, az.
make the school hours so long.-Judge.
schoolmaster-why did you stay away
from school, frankie?
Boy-Me muther brawke 'er arm.
Schoolmaster-But why did you stay
' fBoy@she brawke it Il two pla-ces:-
Punch.
The university professor locker supercill;.
iously at the plain citizen. MY friend
he asked; are you not a neophyte In po-
NO ain't,' replied the plain citizen.
can.
The o1 RetiS Seu mf %ays t s1d
your whiskey straight. Don't you Ken
tuckians eyer put water in yISpF hg geDIed
Major Bluegrass
Yes, subj but they sell it."-Philadel-
What are your opinions on that ques-
MY dear SIR" answered Sorghum, this
is no time to ASK man ms is 9 give
great men a chance to get out among
their constituents and stock up with opin-
ions. '-WashinGton Star.
ImportunateI y (who has beenRubject-
tions5NIs the skin of a fox any use?
NJ. F. H-Yes.
M. +. H.@For keeping the fox warm. of
course.-Punch.
"One important thing about these CT
CARS" said Stingiman. after handing q
weed to his visitor, is that they last so
long"
holding his at arms length, "or does it
merely seem long T'-Philadelphia Press.
speaking of success in life.' remarked
Hojex, there goes a man who has left
hundreds of people behind despite their
strenuous efforts to overtake him"
''Indeedr' exclaimed Tomdix. who Is
her
'fOhr' replied Hoax. hes a motornan
on a trolley car."-Chicago Daily News.
Lady Cyclist-Can you tell me II there
is any Saxon work in this church?
Old Man-Lor' bless yer. mum, be the