The Washington herald., 1907-05-12

cloth at our feet. do women take such
awful chances in matrimony?"
Perhaps" I suggested thoughtfuliy, as
tugged ct a refractory cork, because
it's the only kind they get"
Kitty sniffed-presumably at the chow
chow-and set down a plate OF sandwiches
with a bump.
But" I continued, eff this domestic
scene reminds you of anything so harrow
ing as matrimOny. remember that this is
a picnic and"
Marriage isn't rejolned Kitty prompt
ly. yet nowadays everybody seems to
be sallying into It as nonchalantly as If it
were a half holiday or a game of baga-
telle. There have been four elopements
IN the past week. and none OF the parties
knew each other for more than three
weeks; and I suppose you read about that
playwright who took bride on two days
acquaintance. and about the"
Spare mel" I protested piteously. II
don't read the pink and blue sheets
"They don't even stop to think" went
on Kitty. what serious thing
'Tf they did" broke in bluntly, ''they
wouldn't marry at all"
THAT would be better declared Kitty,
patting the butter remorselessly with
knife and at the same time trying to blow
the curls out OF her mouth, than accept
ing a life partner as you would partner
for a waltz or a cOtilllOn or a game OF
I golf-on sight Instead Of becoming prop
I erly acquainted and conventiOnalIy en-
gagged and deliberately married under q
/ canopy Of lilies and a marguerite wedding
bell, with ell the family gathered round In
/ tearful-I mean cheerful-groups. and the
! bridesmaids throwing rice and old shoes
in the good old-fashioned way, two peO-
/ PIE nowadays meet on Monday. fall in
( love on Tuesday, exchange eternal vows
on Wednesday. and are married and on
their way 10 Europe or the Barbados by
Saturday"
Before the laundry comes home. or
they know the color Of each others eyes,
or how TO spell one anothers front
names! Delightful" I exclaimed. stretch
ing my legs on the damp turf and looking
up under Kitty's red Tam o Shanter ad-
miringly.
"Whatg' Kitty dropped her fork and
just missed overturning the chow-ch0w.
THE way you keep it tipped over one
ear" I explained. nodding toward the Tam
O. shanter. and the idea of marriage with
out a wedding. Think Of the torture they
escape!"
And the EXPENSE remarked Kitty,
witheringly, attempting 10 bite sand
wich without getting a mOuthful OF curl
And the surprises in store for them
when they wake up TO find themselves
married 10 a perfect stranger inteTpo-
lated Kitty, scornfully.
"Oh, they'd do that anyhow" +" I averred,
helping myself generously 10 cold chicken
Anyhow" Kitty looked at me in
alarm, with her fork in midair.
Did you ever see a husband and wife
who really knew each other?' 1 de
manded. i've known women who had
been married for ten years who We're as
+ unacquainted with their husbands as II
they had just met them at an afternoon
tea; and I've met men who had lived IN
holy wedlock for quarter of a century
who knew as little Of their wives as they
did of the maid in the kitchen. The idea
that year or two of courtship or long
engagement is going 10 prepare you for
the exigencie5 Of matrimOny or 10 give
you a light on anybodys character is an
old fallacy invented by somebody IN order
selves walking down the aisle in their best
clothes and a reflected halo, and 10 get
their names into the papers. Instead Of
helping you 10 understand one another an
engagement only helps you to deceive one
another a little longer. and 10 create for
yourselves the Illusion that married life is
going to be enc long dream or kisses and
moonlight and violets at s. a box Chocs-
ing a wife or a husband IS like picking out
the combination on a lottery ticket or
guessing the number of beans in a bag.
You've gOt to take a chance, and your
first guess is just as likely to be right as
your last one. The woman who works out
a system for playing the matrimonial
game isn't any more liable 10 win than
the one who shuts her eyes and puts her
finger down on the table haphazard and
then risks her fortune on the guess. Mar
riage Is like roulsste; nobody can tell how
the wheel or the man viii turn, except
the little god who plays crOupier
Kitty laid down her fork and gazed at
me in shocked surprise.
But" she protested. 'tf you know q
man we'll before you marry him"
That's no sign you'll know him after
ward" 1 broke IN. A man Is q chame-
leon He changes color with his back
ground. He may be perfectly charming
against a blue sky on a summer after
noon, when he has nothing TO do but talk
nonsense and fan himself with his hat,
and absolutely UnbeaTsble against a gray
sky on a winter morning. when he has
got to catch a train and his breakfast
isn't ready No man is the same after
marriage as he was before
And all men are the same" put IN
Kitty sarcasucally. after ten years o!
domestic life. Mamma says that if you
could take half a dozen husbands out OF
our block and put them In a row with
their faces masked, you couldn't tell them
apart by their words and actions. They d
all smell like tobacco and cloves, and talk
In monosyiIables, and tell the samS
stories when they come in late, an6
growI about the bills. and give you q
peck on the cheek for kiss, and"
your mother" I interrupted sharply
''knows too M"
II beg your pardon, Mr.. Curtis"
Knows a great deal" 1 corrected
wisely. but why should she poison tht
youthful mind
"She only wants TO prepare me- ex
planned Kitty, helping herself to a slic'
OF angel food
"As f." ret0rted scornfuliy, "anybod!
could prepare you for playing lottery b!
showing you the answer on her ticket.'
''Well anyway" rejoined Kitty, 7 won
choose a husband with my eyes shut, o.
by putting my finger down on the tabl'
haphazard."
.'No," remarked casually, you'll prob
ably select some nice creature with a lily
white past and a written guarantee fron
his mother. And then because he ha
never sown wild oat, you will be righ
in the field when he suddenly starts Z
raise a crop OF them. Because a ma
hasn't a past Is no sign that he ism