davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1907-12-04
CENSUS HUM0RS.
Returns of Occupations That Are Diff
ficult to Classify.


According to an official Of the census
bureau at Washington, that organiza-
ton is often puzzled to- know how to
classify the returns of ocCGpation in
cases where the enumera tors have
given a too literal description of
PERSONS employment. There are two
census terms to cover such cases. Oc-
cupations not included in the regular
list may be entered as 20. t." mean
ing "Other things" or IN. c. which
stands for mot gainful." To choose
between the two sometimes suggests
amusing complications.
An enumerator in Iowa reported
"drunkard" as the occupation of one
Of his men. The census bureau en-
tered him as IN. Co." since the next
column asserted this to be his occupa-
ton for twelve months in the year.
A New York enumerator who
seemed to evince the inclinations of
detective reported several men in his
district as Crooks" "pickpockets"
and gamblers" They were entered
as an. c." although their occupations
may have been more gainful to them
than to their victims.
An Alabama man whose occupation
was reported as "odd jobs' goes on
the records under 20. T"-"other
things"
While some Of the occupations
which the enumerators give are un-
usual, they are probably correct. A
tramp was described as "loafer, not
gainful. unemployed twelve months" /"
An extra thrifty person iH one in
stance was reported as Occupation,
miser." and another elves on saw
ings." A New England woman whose
husband was described as an "idler''
gave her own occupation as washing
and wishing g"-Minneapolis Journal.
Smyrna times., 1907-12-04
THE
new YORK WORLD
THRICE-A-WEEK EDITION.
Read Wherever the English Language
is spoken.

The Thrice-a- Week World expects to be q
better paper in 1907 than ever before. In
the course of the year the issues for the
next great Presidential campaign will be
foreshadowed, and everybody will wish to
keep informed. The Thrice-a-W Week World
coming to you every other day, serves all
the purposes of a daily, and is far cheaper.
The news service of this paper is con-
stantly being increased; and it reports
fully, accurately and promptly every event
of importance anywhere in the world.
Moreover, its political news is impartial.
giving you facts, not opinions and wishes.
It has full markets, splendid cartoons and
interesting fiction by standard authors.
The Thrice-a- Week Worlds regular sub
sCription price is only $1OO per year, and
unequalled newspaper and The SMYRNA
TINES together for one year for $1.75.
The regular subscription price of the two
papers is $500.
Smyrna times., 1907-12-04
Dancer.

''She was even more afraid of cows
than most girls, so when she spied a
placid animal recumbent under a tree,
peacefully chewing its cud, she at first
refused to go through the pasture at
all. Her husband calmed her fears to
some extent. and they started by. when
the COW slowly commenced to get up,
hind legs first, as they always do. At
this the little lady shrieked with terror
and said:
"Oh, Bob hurry, hurry. He is get
ting ready TO spring at s."-Exchange.
Smyrna times., 1907-12-04
Appendicitis.

is due in large measure to abuse of
the bowels, by employing drastic pur-
gatives. To avoid all danger, use only
DR.. Kings New Life Pills, the safe,
gentle cleansers and invigorators.
Guaranteed to cure headache, bilious
ness, malaria and jaundice, at Benton
N. WeldOu's drug store. 25c.
Smyrna times., 1907-12-04
TEACHING ELEPHANTS.
The Tall, Fat Legged, sr1all Eyed Kind
the Best Pupils.


On a number of points all elephant
trainers agree, says AnpletOn's Mag
zine. These are. first, AIT the tall,
fat legged. small eyed eggplant of big
girth is not only The h;ndSOmest. but
also the most docile and intelligent of
his kind; second. that an elephunt is
fully aware of his prOdigious strength
compared with mans and that the rea-
BON an elephant Obeys his master is
not because he is afraid Of him. but
because he has an affecti.n to- him;
third. you may beat Il bad elephant
to death or kill him by II mig red
hot irons down his threat in an effort
to press the "squeal of Surrender out
of him, but the one and only way to
train an elephant to perform tricks is
through kindness and patience unend-
ing; last. but not least. without eX-
ceptiOn the Intelligence of the elephant
far exceeds that of any other animal.
Elephant trainers maintain that train
Ing an elephant to perform is like
teaching boy circus rlSing. only less
difficult
A number of the simpler tricks with
which an elephant entertains his au-
dience come as natural to him as the
tapping of milk comes to a cat-fOr
instance. the blowing of the mouth
harmCnica.
Twenty feet to the right or to the
left of the candidate to be taught to
lie down four heavy stakes are driven
into the ground, and from each of
these runs block and tackle con-
Meeting with each leg and manned by
ten or Il dozen men. When all is
ready the trainer stands in front Of
the animal, raises his hook and Down!
Down. he orders. The elephant pays
no attention. lie stands waving
his trunk and swayia& his body from
side to side Down. Down. shouts
the trainer again. and upon a signal
some forty men begin to heave and
tug. the blocks squeak. the ropes
creak, and while the trainer continues
shouting his command th@ pachy-
derm'S legs begin to be drawn from
under him. VII scalp raising trum-
pet the startled creature begins to
struggle. lasbing with his trunk from
side to side and cropping with its tip
against the floor. frantically seeking
for hold to steady himself, but the
relentless ropes continue to draw his
legs. The huge beast leans at a for
bidding angle, believing like a herd
Of steers and drowning the Down!
Down. of the trainer. The great body
begins to tOtter. For an instant it re-
gains its balance; then it falls, crash
ing with a dull thud on to the bed of
straw. Trumpeting like the screech
out Of a cracked steam calliOpe, the
brute tries vainly to struggle to his
feet, until at the end of three or four
minutes he begins to realize that moth
ing so very startling has happened and
that really he ought to feel very COM
Portable indeed.
To teach him to stand on his head
the trainer again uses the block and
tackle. To forestall the effects of a
bad fall the floor of the training stable
Is thickly Uttered with straw. Then
the candidate is harnessed with chains
and the bellyband and block and tackle
as he was when learning to rear the
difference being that the chains from
under the belly lead between the hind
instead Of between the forelegs, so
that the hindquarters instead of the
| foreQuarters may be raised.
Smyrna times., 1907-12-04
A New Gar Load Of Hay Just
Arrived, Clean and Sweet,

Another Carload Of the famous
Dover Brick Co. s Brick just in.
Come while you have plenty to
select from. Our stock is complete
and our prices right.
Smyrna times., 1907-12-04
DANCING PRoYEs RArAL.

Many men and women catch colds at
dances which terminate in pneumonia
and consumption. After exposure
Foley's Honey and Tar is taken it will.
break up a cold and no serious results
need be cared. Refuse any but the
genuine in a yellow package. Sold by
all druggists.
Smyrna times., 1907-12-04
IF YOU ARE GOING
TO BUILD

Give us a call and let us furnish
the materials. We will furnish ev-
erything in the Lumber Line, Porch
Columns, Flooring, Siding, Lath,
Shingles, etc. Also, Cement and
Lime.
Buy your LIME from us for
W hitewashing. Also, Paints and
Brushes.
Smyrna times., 1907-12-04
Blind Justice.

Little Willie-Say. pa. why do they
always have a bandage over the eyes
Of Justice.
Pa-PrObably because the lawyers
have talked the poor woman blind,
my son.-EXchange.
Smyrna times., 1907-12-04
His Remedy.

"Out of a jobY'
"Yes-and they put a woman in my
place"
"Gee! Well, I'll tell you-why don't
you marry the woman?" = Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Smyrna times., 1907-12-04
A Delicate Hint.

Two very cadaverous looking tramps
looked in at the window of railway
station where a telegraph operator sat
at his key.
"Say, pardner," one of them said in
very husky voice, report a couple o.
empe1es gOin' east."-Harper's Weekly.
Smyrna times., 1907-12-04

The surest proof of ones endowment
of noble qualities is being free from
envy.-La ROchefOucauld.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1907-07-19

L'oR SALE-i.foum building o. uu Main
" 81. suitable Tor store uf Wufk shop
Gould De- made into a tvu.fnom house n a..
sired. Price uu Application. lockwood a
Hose. 20
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1907-07-19
STATE FINANCES
Vernon, Has Paid Out Nearly Million
and Hail the Past Year.

Montpelier July iS.-The annual o.
u1uclal statement showing the con.
iit'Ou uf the Vermont state treasury
no the close of the fiscal year. July ].
1909. has just been made public by
Edward ~. n.ayitt OF this city. the
state treasurer Il shows total re-.
cripts of El.i52.SGI.5i. total disburse.
mDnts. yl .N2G 1Ut. cash ou hand aud W.
banks June aD. 1905. StSl0N09N. The
rr1 uurccH 81 the new fiscal year are
given aH ffNfONOgN. liabilities payable
during the year. fi235Oi.31. balance
available Tor che payment of current
expense not including current r..
coluts from corporation and inhcrl
lance taxes aud miscellaneous sources.
fGU55HGt.
Thcs" receipts and disbursements.
however, cover only the period since
| October iG. 1906 when State Trcasur
GO ncaNltt assumed office. The report
Uf State Treasurer John l.. bacon from
/ July =. 1906 90 October iG 1906 show
IaEgVEatn receipts of S3GN .32i 90 and
I1EsrrElte disbursements of Si2tGsg..
9. This makes the total receipts fof
/ The FISCAL year of ft.siU.NNg 20 and To-
GA disbursements OF 1851 1868 49,.
/ The total receipts Tor the previous d.
cal year ending july 4. 1905 showed
total receipts OF so .Ggg tG3 81 and total
| disbursements Of Si.3GO.G22 go. while
che cash un hand was S3Gi555ti. II
viii be- seen hy comparing the figures
of The fiscal year just closed with
those Of the preceding year that On,
receipts were f2Oi 1853 greater. the
disbursements we're SS9.1t0.19 greater.
and the cash un hand was SN9s25N5
l greater
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1907-07-19
40 RESI-.

TINO RENT CommOdious brick stable. one
block from Main street. Address a2
heasaLt ~. tUttt
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1907-07-19
BENNINGTON BRIEFS
News Of the Town and Village Told
Briefly for Busy Readers.

Mrs. Kate A. Jordan OF Hartford,
Conn, is visiting her sister, Mrs q. II.
Endrcss OF ELM street
Miss Sophie p. Goldsmith went to-
day To the Herbert Morgan farm In
Pownal to remain several weeks.
Mrs. A. Connolly OF Gage street was
called suddenly away today owing to
the death OF her brother. John Stone
of Bridgeport Conn.
A special invitation Is extended to
the ladies' to attend the bowling match
at the Brunswick alleys tonight be.
tween the Y. NJ &. A. and Brunswick
teams.
Marshall Clapp and Mrs. Joseph
Russell who were called here 0y the
Illness and death OF NJ n. Clapp re-.
turn today to New York. Mrs. Clapp
will accompany them.
Foxes are doing considerable dam
age 10 poultry In pownal. Lately fox
hunters have not taken their dogs out
as they were inclined TO chase deer
rather than foxes. As a result the
foxes are numerous. one farmer re-
ports 80 out OF 80 chickens taken. IN
other lost Il In one night
Fred NJ. Burt and Joseph Wallace
were before the district court nj North
Adams Wednesday morning charged
with oyading fares ON the Boston a
Maine railroad. Each man was found
guilty aud fined 81. The men were In
ken on an east bound freight az IN,
depot by Officer Bclliyeau aud Tag
gage Master Henry Porter.
Mrs Frank Davis. a years Of ag,
/ died "Wednesday forenoon on the Kim
ball farm near North Adams. her death
being caused by complication OF dis
eases She had been resident oI
that city for some time. Besides hei
husband she is survived by one sor
and three daughters The funeral vii
be- held Friday and the burial will b,
in Bennington.
4 large party Of Italians who hav,
been at work on the Bennington ant
North Adams electric road finished
their labors Tuesday and started foi
! Boston. The men had been paid on IL
/ gold aud not one had purchased a tick
/ Il. The conductor Of the train Wa,
running through the cars with hil
hands fun OF i've dollar gold pieces
looking for change when the train
reached North Adams
The engagement h announced o
Miss Caroline y. Cushman Of NORTH
, bennington % Townsend X yelling
ton of Troy Miss Cushman ~ th,
daughter Of Henry T. Cushman. one OF
the lcadiuE mauuiacturers OF Bcnning
ton. and great granddaughter Of IN,
late Governor lliland Hall. Mr. Well
mgton b. the son Of Hon George u
Wellington. Troy'H Corporation Coun
sci of the firm OF Van Sanvoord a
Wellington.
Miss Lillian l. Ford received the
news yesterday of the death ~ her uu
Gle Alexander ". Green Of Greenfield
brother Of the late Edward .. Green
of this place Mr. Green was born hi
Troy aud was 30 years 81 age. tie 4.
survived hy wife. one brother. !
Crawford Green Of Troy aud a sister
MrH Martha Ford of Cohocs. The Ia
neral will be- held tomorrow afternoon
at bis home in Greenfield
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1907-07-19
WHO LIKES LEMON PIE,

Everybody but they are expensive
and hard TO make In the old way You
should try at once "OURplE" Prcpar.
alton for delicious lemon pies. II is
made from the choicest ingredients.
absolutely pure. Sure 10 please you
as II has thousands OF others. a lady
says: II will never again try 10 make
lemon pie In the old way while I can
get "OUR.PlE" Preparation Each
package enough for two large pies, i0c
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1907-07-19
NEW BOOKS AT LIBRARY
a Partial lie, Of Those Recently Re
eeived.

cciNcu.
Among the now hooks recently r..
cciyod no the Free Library are From
llull Run 60 Chanccllorsyillc." Curtis.
The New llumanism." GriggH. ANA.
tour Photography" Adams: Photo
grnphy' on the Trail Of the Inning
rant" Steiner. Real Soldiers Of For
tune" Davis. The Long Labrador
Trail Wallace. Citizenship IN th.
Schools. The Fair Hills Of Ireland. "
THE Prisoner at the Bar." Tarbells:
Abraham Lincoln" and "Wayfarcrs
Of Italy"
Some Of the new fiction includes.
The Tree OF Heaven. The Heart That
Knows. New Chronicles Of Rebccca.
The Malofactor. The Gray Mist. Wits
porInr Smith. The Doctor. The White
Flag The Port of Missing Men aud a
knight OF the Cumberland
a new dictionary has also been adj
Marsh's Thcsaurus.
a nice lot Of home.curod shoulder
hams. last Of this season. ~ cents 70
pound. az G. Schwartz's market
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1907-07-19
FOR SALE.

EOu Portable saw mill complete with
some machinery for the manufacture ~
chaiT stock, 4 IN vcrY good order can BE- seen
40 Sunderland hoTuuFh. w. sd ucfc umhsf
iui viii be sold with 90 without mill. Also fnr
sale. an old established meat business located
IN fast Arlington. wis u good stahd Cor Tie
right party. CAL 0r address u. .. liail. iast
Arlington. VI wi
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1907-07-19

EUHNIsuFD ROOMS 20 rent. from SIC
Il ~ tL0O each Apply 10 lockwood q
Howe. ~
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1907-07-19
WEATHER FORECAST
Probabilities for This Section for the
Next "a Hours.

For eastern New York and Western
Vermont cloudy unsettled weather
showers tonight or Saturday.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1907-07-19

rINENEMENT To RENT-bn Eim ~. Al
i modern improvements. Inquire Of =. u
liabberly. psu
FnO RENT-Onc front room. furnished Ap-
Il ply at ne Unlon street. i1u
RIO HENT.-Dcsirable tenemerts. ofnce-.
stores, mil property will water power.
lrdiyiduhl storage lockers. Wan. r. naSks.
Us Nurth 81
NO HENr-Two rooms on tmru noor u
L Savings Bank Building. vii rent singly
or together. Apply 10 q n. Dewey. treasurer.
datf
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1907-07-19
NOTICE

whefras my wife Nellie has left my bed aud
hoard without Just cause or prJfuoafon here
by warn ali persons against trusting her as I
shall pay no debts Of her contracting after q 4
HENRY JEPsON
July 18th, 1907 u
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-04-26

somewhat drastic, but the committee
says they are vitality necessary and
really moderate in scope. The three
ends to be attained in the lodging
houses, it is pointed out, are ventila-
ton, cleanliness and proper sanitary
arrangements. In most lodging houses
it has been the custom, to use the
words of a keeper, to change sheets
and pillowcases whenever neces-
sary." In other words, once or at
most twice a week Now they are
compelled to have fresh pillowcases
and sheets every day. 1t is estimated
that this will entail an extra expendl-
ture of four cents a bed daily for laun-
dry purposes.
All the reforms are at the expense
of the proprietor, and it is expected
that a number of the smaller fry. will
be forced out of business. This, how
ever, is not certain result. The
lodging house business is too profit
able to be thrown aside, as very few
proprietors, it is said, have failed to
salt away reserve fund from their
earnings. Incidentally, the lodging
house patron can be made to pay the
difference, though it is doubtful if the
patrons are possessed of sufficiently
clean tastes to appreciate the fresh
linen and accompanying comfort.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-04-26
PRESIDENTS BOYS BEAT
FATHER AT HURDLINC

air and the animals they rode at fence
and hurdle were full of mettle and in
spired with the spirit of the sport
Two of them were the presidents own
mounts, Roswell and Audrey, mag
nificent blooded hunters of line of
hunters.
The horse that was first sent at the
jump was Gray Dawn, gift to Theo-
dore, Jr., by Capt. Seth Bullock, of
Deadwood. If he lacks the style and
conformation of Roswell and Audrey,
he makes ul in ginger and endurance
The jumping started at four and one
half feet. The boys cleared this with
little difficulty, but the president only
topped the hurdle by supreme effort.
Then Baron Sternburg put up the
bars to FIVE feet, and the two boys
tried it again. There were one or two
balks for each, but they finally got
over, their father and other specta-
tors applauding.
The president was not to be beaten
by his boys if he could help it, so he
put Roswell at the rail again. Ros-
we'll started we'll, but the rail was too
high and his rider too heavy so he
quit at the bar. Again and again the
president tried, but in vain, and to the
delight of his sons he had to admit
that he was beaten.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-04-26
ID ARON SPECK Won STERNRIJRG

u ARON SPECK Won STERNBURG,
" the German ambassador, showed
young Theodore and Kermit Roose-
welt how to jump hurdles just beyond
Rock Creek park, the other day. He
taught them so well they beat their
father, the president, who failed to
clear a five-foot hurdle. Baron Stern.
burg was hussar in the German
army in the war with France and
what he doesn't know about horses is
not to be found in the best literature
on the subject. He learned the art of
riding from the ground up, for he en-
listed as a private and worked his
way along to commission in a crack
cavalry regiment
The lesson that Baron Sternburg
gave the Roosevelt boys was not their
first under his tutelage. He has been
out with them several times ION the
quiet and has managed to bring them
to state of efficiency that already
gives them the confidence and ability
to follow the hounds. Capt. Fitzhugh
Lee, of the Seventh cavalry, is assist
ant tutor and the president also takes
a hand occasionally, but leaves most
of the instruction to the German am
bassador and the army officer.
The Roosevelt boys had the time of
their lives. There was tonic in the
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-04-26
COMPOSITE CLUBHOUSE
FOR COLLEGE GRADUATES

the clubs will have access; dining
room, where each particular club will
have certain number of tables set
apart FOR it's use, and gymnasium
and swimming pool which will be
open to the members of all the vari-
Gus societies. Such a development
of the college club idea is only in line
with what has already been accom-
plished within recent years for the
help of the youthful graduate who has
come to the metropolis to win fame
and fortune. The collegian of to-day
who begins his career in this city
finds many opportunities which did
not exist for the graduate of a gen.
GRAFTON ago. He has many advantages
which his predecessor didn't possess
in the way of making new friendships
or of renewing old ones-of meeting
men of his own age whose coopera-
ton or assistance may greatly con-
tribute to his business or professional
success of obtaining the ripper
counsel of older men, who may help
him solve many problem which, if
met in another way, might have re-
suited in disastrous failure.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-04-26
What Makes Spring Early or Late

what Makes Spring Early or Late.
Until recently it was taken for
granted that the heat given out by the
sun was always the same in amount,
not differing one day from another,
or one year from another. But it has
been finally ascertained, through q
long series of experiments, that the
amount of heat given out by the sun
is constantly varying, and that at
times it is not less than one-sixth
greater than at other times, a differ.
ence amply sufficient to account for
exceptionally cool summers or warm
winters on the earth. Indeed, says
Rene Bache, in the Reader Magazine,
there can no longer be any doubt
that we owe our weather, to great ex-
tent, to the solar luminary; and our
government is at present engaged in
painstaking study of the subject in
the observatory on Mount Whitney,
CAL, the expectation being that, when
it has come to be more fully under
stood, science will be able, by obser-
walton of the suns activity, to make
forecasts of meteorological conditions
Tor At least six months in advance.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-04-26
~ i

He became petulant and retiring,
disliking the company of either man
or beast. Several times members of
the presidents tennis cabinet have
had to step lively to escape nip from
Rollo.
After chasing ambassadors, cabinet
ministers, and minor officials, Rollo
sealed his doom the other night when
he freed couple of the watchmen
from the navy department who were
going through the White House
grounds about midnight.
Rollo wagged his tail, expecting to
be commended for what he had done.
but after it became known and dis
cussed Rollo was sentenced to be ban
ished to the farm of Surgeon General
Rixey, down in Virginia, where he can
chase rabbits and butterflies.
The bull terrier, now that Rollo is
gone. has turned his attention to Skip,
the little black and tan hound which
was given the president on his lion
hunting trip in Colorado. Skip. so
the president says in his book, "can
climb Trees but the terrier has not
made him do it yet.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-04-26

he left the Tombs carrying the heavy
overcoat under his arm. Another
man advised Thaw by letter to allow
his hair to grow until the jury had
rendered verdict. Perhaps that is
the reason his long, dark brown hair
needs trimming and is so unkempt.
Prisoners, after they have been con-
fined in the Tombs, or any other pris-
on, for that matter, for a length of
time naturally grow superstitious.
Thaw, however, developed that failing
years ago and, it is said, often visited
phrenologists and clairvoyants and
frequently needed their advice. Dur
ing his incarceration in the city prison
number Of fortune tellers and spirit
ualists have endeavored to secure an
audience with him. Thaw carries
rabbits foot in his vest pocket every
time he enters the court room. This
was sent him from Virginia by a pick
aninny who wrote that it saved a me-
gro from the gallows.