The daily morning journal and courier., 1907-02-23
HELD UP TO scoRN.
A Man of the West Takes Fall Out
 of the Effete East.

All America IS dlVlued Into three parts; that lying east of the Appalach- ians, that lying between the Appalach- fans and the Rockies, and that lying between the Rockies and the Pacific. The aforementioned region in inhab tied by New Journalists, of wllom lit-, tie is known have that they eat hu- man flesh. The interior province is settled at wide intervals by a class of beings who live chiefly by hunting and fishing, Of the remaining portion of the country, and more especially that lying between Flatbush, Long Island and Rutland, Vermont it is to be said that 1t is the only truly civiliz- ed portion while to have bean born anywhere in America except north of Flatbush, Long Island, east of the Appalachian Mountains and south of Rutland, Vermont.
 For myself, 1t is to be said modest- l ly. but with genuine regret that was born among a tribe who lived practically in a state of nature, some where in the chaparral west of the Missississippi River; River; a stream which some vain persons ima- zine to rival in importance Fall River. Massachusetts. My father was per son of no importance, reared as he was in some obscure southern portion of the continent. He died at 90 years of age, and I much lnisdoubt was damned, for he chewed tobacco all his life, was not born in New Eng Hand, and although Christian, was not Unitarian. As much almost might be said regarding my unfortu- nate mother, excepting in regard to tho tobacco. It was her continual re- great that she did not come from New England. Her last words to me were in the nature of counsel that should marry in New England, since the privilege of being born there was for ever cut off from me. This for a long time l sought to do, yet none would listen to tribesman of no antece- dents, so that the bestI could do was to marry a near Yankee, whose grandfather was born in New England but who had for private reasons emil l 6Idhtd " hllIttlp pOiias NlAlu66Qld.
 Of my early youth I remember but little At the age of 3 my fond father bought me my first pair of hearskins chaps" my first spurs, hat and six-shooter; he being resolved that should be in full Western fash ion, and being likewise close student of MT. ReminRtons Western fashion plates. At the age of had at tained certain proficiency with the native weapons, and six months later l had shot the family cook. Never ttheless, I was considered a backward youth, because at 10 years of age had shot but 12 of my young friends
 and even at Is my string was but 2 lpaltry 40 men or so. True, l. could
 ride and rope; and, as may be guessed, I never rode a gentle horse
 if I could find any other sort My
 language I gained from the 10-cen
 magazines; the game as invented il
 Brooklyn and Boston, I need not stat
 that my education in correct Westerl
 speech and department was completet
 through constant study of the master pieces of Owen Wister, who fortu
 nately was born east of the Appalach
 fans, and so was in position t speak with authority. I may say tha thus l developed into an averag
 specimen of tribal manhood.
 At times missionaries came anon us. taught us to feel shame at ou , lack of culture. I recall how shocke
 was when with others of my youn |, friends, l learned that what We ha thought calf was not a calf, bu
 cough Others came who told u
 that our country was of little Wortl
 With one of these l gazed upon som of the peaks of the Rocky Mountain @ "They are fair hills" said he. "br
 you forget Bunker Hill and the Berl shires." With another I stood by tf n side of the Yellowstone, where d breaks down from the mountain a This stream" said he, would tur s spindles if located in Connecticut, b, = for grandeur 1t cannot be compare d with Bellows Falls" With oerta : pride I showed yet another dwellir = of our main village, known as Ch U cago, yet he answered me; "A goo village and worth encouraging, bt
 you should see Ruthlandvermont."
 Thus it was that when I hs A reached years of discretion and I
 longer shot the cook, I resolved
 e journey eastward and to witness -- best I might the chief places of tn j. holy land. Wherefore I packed tv u of my best horses-using the diamoi y hitch whose throwing I had learn through man from Connecticut 1T and taking my near-Yankee wife b ', hind me upon another horse set for p1 to see what I might see.
 The city of Boston is located 59 J. miles southwest of Rutlandvermor L. and reached by passing through tn s- wonderful example of modern e y gineering skill, the Hoosac Yum 'e before whose features. all Cobra J. pales into the strictly S0-cent class. er is sometimes called-and me-seer a correctly-the great bore. Not d iwtl Boston, the enterprising metr