Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-12-08
GR|DIRONERS AT
ANNUAL DINNER
Merry Quips and Numerous
Skits and Hits.
CLASS IN NATURE FAKING
Oklahoma's Admission Into the
Union Illustrated.
NEW SENATORS GIVEN LECTURE
Characteristic Toasting and Roast
ing by Forty Jolly Club Mem
bers-Distinguished Guests.

The annual fall dinner of the Gridiron
Club was held at the New Willard last
night, furnishing a brilliant entertain
ment to company of distinguished
guests. About 235 men, including the
members of the club, sat around the
tables. arranged in the shape Of a grid
iron. and from in the evening until the
clock licked the approach of Sunday
morning listened to the merry quips and
Jibes. the tart and peppery personal hits
and the jolly songs of the GridirOn Club.
Between times they employed themselves
in discussing an excellent menu.
The dinner was held in the great ban
Quet hall of the hotel. which was appro-
priately decorated in smilax and greens,
roses and fall flowers, and gay with
myriad of lights. Over the chair of the
presiding officer President Samuel G.
Blythe, the mammoth electric gridron
flashed a welcome to the guests.
The reception committee received the
incoming guests in the ballroom adjoining
the banquet hall. and half an hour was
spent IN social converse and renewal of
old acquaintance. Then the dinner bell
was rung, the doors thrown open, and
the company took their places greeted by
a welcoming song from the Gridiron Quar-
tet.
The Cocktail Song.
The guests had hardly taken their seats
when a member of the club addressed
the chair, and complained bitterly that
there were no cocktails on the table,
whereupon everybody looked at Vice
President Fairbanks, and for some rea-
son laughed. President Blythe suggested
that the music committee was charged
with providing cocktails, and he was sur
prised that they were not on the table.
Just then the rollicking notes of BUD
weisers a Friend Of Nine rang, and the
music committee sang this song: \
There once was a dinner, out in Indiana.
Where cocktails \were served to each
Such innocent mixtures with sundry nice
AS cherries--andryou know tha. fe.t. q
They glstened Hike wine and they tasted
Each guest smacked his lips In delight.
Could you really think that this one little
Would have caused such terrible
plight?
Chorus:
"Oh. the cocktails friend of mine.
Friend of mine-yes, friend of mine.
What care If the sun don't shine
When we've got cocktail
That's the reason 1 feel SO fine,
Feel so fine-yes. I feel so fine.
When served at dinner the cocktails
The cocktails a friend of mine"
When the chorus was concluded a men,
Der advanced to the center of the room
bearing an immense cocktail glass, filled
with-buttermilk, and sang:
"And now, Mister Fairbanks! Will YOU
@.iv, IL to fotl
It's simple and harmless and dry.
And. not to alarm you. we say it won't
harm you,
So don't be too shrinking and shy.
You surely will say as you sip its fine
flavor.
I thank you indeed for this BOOM
Unless you confess, as you will, we all
guess,
Chorus.
Glass in "Nature Faking."
One of the cleverest skits produced dur
ing the evening was the class In mature
taking" The teacher and two pupils en-
gagged in this dialogue:
Please, teacher; was the story about
Mrs. OLeary's cow kicking over the lamp
that caused the fire a nature fake?"
1T wasn't Mrs. O'Leary's cow that
kicked over the lamp and started the
fire.
Who did. them"
"F. Augustus Heinze."
mo leyity, children. l wish first to
speak of the octopus. What is an octo-
pus?"
Something with suckers on it,
You mean Wall street."
Then there Is that statement that
money talks
Gee! the President must be the richest
man in the world"
Well, John Barrett amt broke"
Now, children, the worst of nature
takers is Mother Goose"
II know. She wrote There was an old
woman who lived In a shoe. She had so
many children she didn't know what to
why didn't she go to the White
House,"
Another familiar nature fake is Santa
Claus Is there any such person as Santa
CLAUSE
No; Santa Claus has been superseded
by George b. Cortelyou."
who said that?'
THE New York bankers"
Il will now call your attention to the
nnastodon."
What's a mastodon?"
AN extinct animal. Can you name any
other extinct species?"
''Malefactors of great wealth-since the
panic
Now. children: what is a miser?'
"A miser is man who catches mise"
NO such thing. A miser is a man who
boards money
Huh. that amt miser. That's &
banker
rs Senator Knox's presidential boom
nature fake?''
NO: it's Penrose fake
Did the whale really swallow Jonah? p
We can't tell Jimmie Garfield ISM
through investigating that yet"
I'VE now come to cuckoos. What is
cuckoo?"
There aren't any now. They lived il
Cleveland's time. They don't call then
cuckoos now"
What do they call them?'
Jonathan Bournes."
Two very interesting terms are molly
coddle and milksop. What are milksop
and mollycoddles?'
Everybody who wasn't Rough Rider
Another curious nature fake is tn,
cocktail What Is a cocktaii?'
That's obsolete, too The President ha.
changed the name. He calls them storl
tails"
Teacher. was that story about Georg
Washington throwing silver dolla
across the river a nature fake?'
II think not. Why do you ask?"
1T amt so much. Cortelyou threw