The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1907-07-07
WAYS THAT MEN PROPOSE
AMATEUR sOCEOLOGEST REPORTS
on HIS INVESTIGATIONS.
Couldn't Find q Ma VINO Dld u ms They Do
In NovcIs--MOst OF Them Ju,t Asked
IAk Ordinary Human Beings some.
tinles a Hint was All That Was Needed.

~ 49, "AaNH
THE impassioned declarations Of love
and the hetup proposals of marriage IA
made by the lovely young male piece. os
work in the novels had always impressed
me as being most grotesquely overdrawn.
/ could not picture the lovely young nal,
pieces OF work saying such things to girls
who were not insane.
$50 l instituted SOM quiet inquiries,
among my married friends for the purpose
Of ascertaining whether any of these idiotic
manifestation had happened to them at
their mating time. l I'm giving you the
result OF these investigations.
The first man I tackled ives the hcaa
clerk in n crockery store and he'd been
going with the girl for a year and "A hall
when it happened. One Sunday afternoon
he took a walk with hcr.
"'Aggie,' he said to her after they'd hcen
looking ut some marked down refriGerators
in a furniture store window. the old mGn
boosted my pay TO thirty a week last night.
Guess VIC ought to be able to scrabble along
on thirty a week. hadn't weT
well, | should say was Aggie'S o~-
hand reply. There are thousands Of folks
in New York who live mighty comfortably
on half of thirty a week, and
And the date Of that wedding was i'm
mediately arranged.
Next man, clerk in an insurance Office,
had been going with her for about eight
months. There were two or three others
in the field against him. but he was g1ne
enough to take a gamblers chance. They
we're at a show one night and between the
first and second acts he leaned over TO her
and said:
-'Say, Hazel, where do l stand with you.
anyhow
Nov, pul-lease, Jim, don't get senti-
mental she replied.
But, Hazel he persisted, I'm getting
pretty anxious to find out, you know. ]
don't know now whether I'm aces or an
also ran. You know where you stand with
me all right, don't you2 Well, wou!dn't
it only be the fair thing for you to put me
wise as to where I
"'Oh, l don't know that you have any
occasion TO worry was her reply, and
that, of course, was enough for him. The
date was fixed a couple Of evenings later.
Third friend Of mine whom ] tackled on
this investigation was a Shorthand man in
a brokers' Office, and he'd been calling on
her about three tim es a week, taking her
out, too, with considerable regularity, fora
period covering about a year. One evening
he was sitting on the front steps with her
when she said to him:
Say Charlie, guess who ran away and
got married last week. Edith Startsome-
THAT SOP said he. We'll, say. Ethel,
how good on the run are you"
Thus IL was fixed.
my fourth informant was a young law
yer-briefess, at that-who'd beer a fire.
Suent caller at the home of a wealthy girl
for two years. Good looking chap, and the
girl was there with the looks, too, in addi-
ton to having the coin. One night they
formed part OF a chaperoned box party alta
-. III -l- -U.a AAA.N . faaxsIxK ..UI
denly plunged from wealth to poverty.
"'D'ye know, Kate he'd said to her,
without desiring to appear mean or cruel,
I wish something OF hat sort would happen
"'What a very friendly wish!' was her
reply. Why, pray?' she added. although,
Of course, she Understood MIN perfectly
.'Because. then, mr. dear he very quick
ly made answer I wouldn't feel like such
the little l have with me-
"'Oh. is that itF she inquired. saving
tenderly into his eyes. We'll, you know
very we'll. Ed, that I should never con-
no matter what you did; and it 10 mean OF
you to reproach ms for not being poor.
] CAM help il. can ~
This looked good enough to my friend
the young LAWYER, n IL was. They'd
decided upon the date before ths end Of
that week.
Fifth man I asked was another lawyer.
and he'd been calling and sending her
candy and flowers and taking her out right
often for nearly a. twelvemonth. One
evening they were taking a car ride when
they passed a tidy apartment house in
course Of construction M nearly COM
pleted.
ago. he said to her nonchalantly. They're
daisies-best arranged l ever saw. Burlap
walls and all that. Mighty cheap, at that
only fifty a month for the best Of EN-,
and there is ian elevator, too
- Just love red burlap for the dining
room Of a fat, don't you?' was her reply.
THAT was good enough for him. and he
fled his caveat then and there.
sixth friend OF mine I asked to help me
out on this Investigation was a gay bachelor
Of 80 when 1t happened. He'd been capti-
waited by the good breeding. high character
and stong common sense OF his typewriter
girl. Made up his mind that he'd like to
marry her. Had 1t doped out that she liked
her having him. in spite Of his pretty mod
crate good looks and his considerable
business prosperity. So one day he touched
the button that summoned her into his
private office for a ,dictation. She ap.
peared promptly. notebook in hand.
Ell didn't call you for a dictation.
Miss Rapkeys.' he said to her, rising from
his seat and bowling to her most deferen-
tally as he placed a chair for her. I want
to ask you " you'll marry me-
Naturally enough she appeared over
whelmed. but she didn't say anything -ESut
II being so sudden or anything Of mat kind.
She respected the mar and more than liked
him. She said yes before leaving his
private Office. and they're one of the hap.
piest pairs l ever saw
Il think I" concluded the Amateur Sociolo-
gist, that these few d cases which
quote. the results. az l say. of careful in
v~estigation along this line, clearly indicate
that the fubdubbish Junk as TO declarations
and proposals set down in the fiction books
simply does not GO. They don't kneel,
they don't claw the air, they don't crawl
On their stomachs. They just ask them
like sensible human beings. They're glad
" they get EN- and they take their medi-
cine as a rule like little men il they're
turned down"