Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-05-04


that astonished woman. Gas your ms.
band ever been mad its ali RIGHT
ma'am, it's all right, ma'am-I entTeat
you not to faint" as with a hvstericaI
laugh, Mrs. RarHacle applied the corner
Of her apron to her eyes. II only asked
you becos the capn seems funny this
morning. | expect it's the 'eat-but ere
e comes; now you'll see for yourself
ma'am.'
They looked toward the door. in
which appeared the burIy figure of Cant.
Barnacle, who, removing his hat. sat
down ON the mat, carefully took off his
boots, and, after polishing the soles with
his handkerchief, gravely put them on
again.
Mrs Barnacle gazed at him with anger
and establishment written in every line of
her face.
Emery Barnacle, you're making a
fool Of yourself" she snapped.
i beg your pardon, Martha, hut your
coarse language jars my nerves. Be a
little more polite in the choice of your
words, my love-"
| Mr.. Heavytop at this moment seemed
IN imminent danger of choking, but re-
covered, and explained that he "did get
these attacks with the hexcessive eat"
when you've done, Emery, we'll ave
dinner" broke in Mrs. Barnacle.
Willingly, my dear" smiled the ami
able captain. Il trust" turning to Mr..
| Heayytop, Il trust sir, as We shalt Be
honored by your company at our festive
board-allow me-" and with grave face
he busted chair and placed il for the
ilrst mate, repeating the operation with
the Others
will you sit down, Emery Barnacle I"
said his wife angrily.
1T would be a breach of good manners
could not lower ny self to commit, Mar
tina. When you and Mr.. 'Eavytop are
seated | shall be 'appy to accommodate
myself on an tumble STOOL
ITS the 'eat," whispered the first mate
TO the exasperated Mrs. Barnacle. "'Ell
be all right in hour or two"
But, on the contrary, the captain
seemed to get worse, until at last Mr..
Heavytop confided to Mrs. Barnacie that
her husband was suffering from mania
"lest listen to i'm, ma'am," he said
and from the deck came the captains
voice
mfr. 'Amilton," this being the deck
boy aforesaid, Mr.. 'Amilton, should |
De a-takin' advantage of your generous
nature if | was to ask you to wash them
platters cleaner, and not to leave broom
on the stairs for me to fall over, as l
was in danger of seriously 'urting my
self this morning? Thank you, Mr. Am
ilton; | am very much obliged to you
sir"
The mans mad" gasped hrs. Barna-
Gle, and Mr.. Heavytop nodded gravely.
I'm afraid so, ma am; I'm afraid So
but we must 'ope, Mrs. Barnacle, we must
'ope for the best. | don't think ] should
distress myself if / was you.'
Distress myself, indeed" snorteG the
woman, "Fll do no such thing, Mr. 'Eavy-
top; but I'll bring him to his senses or
my names not Martha BarnacIe''
'Ow am / getting on, Hatred? ?" asked
the captain little later when they were
seated in his cabin.
"Beyutiful, cap couldn't be better:
but don't overdo it, or Mrs. Barnace'll
twig."
Three days passed, and still the cap
tain persisted in his weird conduct. until
ON the morning of the fourth day he dh
foolish thing. In the midst of his over.
whelming politeness. during the momen-
tary absence of Mrs. Barnacle. he in
dulged in a portentous wink. but. unfor-
tunately, his better half returned at the
very moment he was giving vent to his
humor.
The mouth of the good lady hardened
and set in straight line. 1nere was
an ominous glitter in her eve; she said
not word, but fixed the captain and his
mate with an awful look.
ssJf,.o boarJ f~o,x,
she said suddenly, with meaning look !
at the captain.
Heard from them-heard from whom, !
ma'am!" asked the first mate in won
der.
THE asylum board snapped Mrs.
Barnacle.
THE wh-a-a-tf" gasped Mr. Heavytop |
while the captain grOaned, and would |
have collapsed but for the restraining |
hand of his mate
"The asylum board" repeated the lady: !
Il wrote them yesterday asking them to |
'ad a mania. and this morning | received |
a reply sayin' as two men would be |
aboard the barge at 10 o'clock-Gnd it's |
now five minutes to-"
Martha, it's all a mistake groaned !
Capt. Barnacle. Il amt blithering
IDIOT; it was a bit o fun | was 'avin' /
with you. I'm as sane as you are. and
a sight more tnan some people l know"
and he witheled Mr.. Heavytop with
glance.
Its very sad. MIR 'Eavytop, amt it?
that Emery should be took so sudden
cut off in the prime of his facilities, so
to speak"
Mr.. Heavytop mopped his face and
gazed with awe-stricken eyes, first at the
captain and then at Mrs. Barnacle
"At any rate" continued the lady, "the
poor dear'll be well looked after now,
won't he, Mr.. 'Eavytop?"
The first mate nodded weakly.
Then the captain swore Justify. and
Doliteness was forgotten.
Il tell We, ye're making a fool of Your
self, Martha" he stormed.
Getting violent, you see. Mr.. 'Eavv-