Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-11-23
SIZED
44lE5s]6z'Elz

us the snip stripped to repel board
ers?" mo, repel souvenir fiends."-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Binks-Does strong coffee keep you
awaken links How do know?
board. Somerville Journal.
Nell-I think Maud has more color
than her sister. Belle-Yes; about so
cents worth more.--P Philadelphia Rec
ord.
DO you believe that the good die
young" II think they do, If all my
wife tells me about her first husband
Is true. Pick Me-Up.
Cautious Customer Gin drug storey -
How much do you charge for a dimes
worth of tooth powder? New Clerk
twenty-five Chicago Daily
News.
The doctors have finally agreed
upon the cause of Markley's Illness"
"Ah. they've held another consulta-
tlon?" mo; post-mortem." Philadel-
phia Press
Lawyer-As your husband died intes-
tate, you will. of course, get a third.
Widow-Oh. | hope to get my fourth.
lie was my third, you know.--Town
and Country
II thought you were married, and
vet you're sewing ON your own but
toss" 81 am married, but I keep my
independence. let me tell Meg
gendorfer Batter.
Scribbler--I understand the inmates
of the Home for the Feehle-Minded are
going to publish magazine. Quibbler
Isn't the field rather overcrowded? -
Philadelphia Record.
Wife docking up from her book ---
You know a great many things John;
now, what do Won think should be done
in case of drowning? Husband
Have a funeral, ! should think.
Cynicus-I have been engaged to at
least dozen girls, Silicus-Always
been unlucky in love. eh? Cynicus
oh, don't know I've never married
any Of them. Philadelphia Record.
Buteher-Come. John, be lively now
break the bones In Mr.. Simpsons
chops and put Mr. Smiths ribs In your
basket. JohnAl right, sir; just az
soon as I've sawed off Mr.. Murphy's
leg.
George" murmured the young wife,
lam | as dear to you now as / was
kstP s.sl2 ~
tell" replied the husband, absent-mind-
eddy. u didn't keep any account OF my
expenses then"
Mr.. Chips docking up from the pa
per)--The doctors have discovered an
other new disease, Mrs. Chips Well,
| wish they'd stop looking for new dis
eases long enough to find cure for my
old rheumatism
Old Scotch farmer (having spent six
pence on a race ticket for n pony ana
trap, value ESQ, and having won) Is
shown the prize After gazing critical
ly at II for some minutes: "But
whaur's the whup?'
Chaplelgh-l say. druggist, can you
NV give me something to-aw~--
bwighten me up, doncher know? Drug
gist You're in the wrong place, young
man. This Is a drug store. not a night
school. Chicago Daily News
What pleased me most" said the
man who had been abroad, was the
wonderful clock at Strasburg" "Oh,
how / should like to see it," replied
the ignorant youth. And did you see
the watch on the Rhine, tooT
District Visltor-What has brought
you to the destitute condition? Appli-
It's my wife, num- Your wife!
How is thatT "well, you see, mum,
I've got her three good situations, and
I'm blessed II she could keep one OF
Them
Yes" said old Roxlcy, "my daugh-
ter is to be married next month TO Lord
BrokeleIgh." "Ah!" remarked the.
friend, "eyerythlng's settled, chr"
We'll. guess not You don't keteh
me paying In advance. Philadelphia
Press.
"of course, Tommy" said the Sunday
school teacher, you'd like to be an am
gel, wouldn't your" weller
yes'm,' replied Tommy, "but I'd like
b. wait TIL can be full-grown angel
with gray whiskers." - Philadelphia
Press
First Summer Who is that
clean-shaven, handsome boyi Second
Summer Girl-Oh, he's an actor. First
Summer Giri-No; / mean the other
one. Second Summer Girl-Oh, he
hasn't any money, either.-H arper's
Weekly.
Little Boy Mamma, wish you'd
end out who it was hypnotized me, and
punish 'em severely. Mamma What?
Little Boy While you was out | was
pulled right into the pantry, an forced
to eat hull lot Of those cakes you
said / mustn't touch.
How are you, BroomT asked
bluff old sailor OF a flop who was al
n H. an.