Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-03-02
JoBsoN FORGOT McE|

! NOW listen here, II you please, OBJ
served Mr. Jobson to Mrs. Jobson at the
breakfast table the other morning. This
morning. when I get down town. I am
going to purchase tickets for the theater
| this evening. Tickets. Theater- This
evening. Got that?.'
Il am so giad,'' replied Mrs. Jobson,
cheerfufIy.
Never mind about how glad you are,
| said Mr.. Jobson. II am glad you are glad.
But am not talking about gladness. I,
have another purpose in view. The the
! atrical performance which we are going
| to see begins at Sis O'Clock 1t does not
! begin at 927 o'clock. Neither does 1t be-
gin at seven and three-quarter minutes
| after midnight. Nor does 1t begin next
| Tuesday week at high noon. Apprehend
| that?"
"Oh, surely" affably replied Mrs. job
| son.
/ IAN right. You say you apprehend 1t,
/ but you don't have to grin over 1t. as II
you were INDUCING cranky young one.
want this thing to stick. II have to
| shatter nineteen wish bones In the effort,
am going to try. anyhow, to make you de-
velop at least the beginning or nucleus of
| a memory. Now, wish you'd just repeat
| to yourself all day today, over and over
again, never stopping, these words: Eight
fifteen. Eisht-fifteen. Eight-ffteen. The
show begins at eight-fifteen. Dye catch
my meaning"
| "Oh I'll be ready on time. my DEAR" put
| in Mrs. Jobson, with undiminished cheerful
| ness.
'Uh-huh," grunted Mr.. Jobson. I've
| heard you say things like that before. But
| I'm from st. Joe and you've never shown
me yet. The only way for you to remen-
Der anything is for you to keep on re-
peating, over and over again, something
| In connection with the thing you want TO
remember. 1t wouldn't do any good for
you to tie a string around your finger.
! You'd forget what the string was there
| for, and, half an hour after putting 1t on.
you'd look at It and imagine that you'd
| put it there for bone felon.
But" said Mrs. JobSon, Il really am SO
| pleased that we are going to the theater.
after you swore only a fortnight ago that
| you'd never put foot inside theater again
| as long as you lived and breathed, that
| Never mind what 1 swore fortnight
| ago or four hundred years ago." said Mr.
| Jobson with asperity. Il never swore any
| such a swear, but you can't sidetrack me-
| There's no use in your attempting to shufne
| or back water or crawfish in this matter.
| I'm talking about memory now-your MEM
| Dry; the thing that you are pleased to call
| your memory, 1 should say: Now. I'm go
| Of the curtain for the first act for once. If
| 1 have to go down there now and wait for
| theCicket-taker to appear at the door tor
the evening performance. I'm going to get
| the feather buster trip around busting pa
| pier mache articles of vertu and b1jouterie
| while she talks to herself and tells every
| body all about her mistress business. L
| haven't seen the housemaid do that stunt
| at curtain-rise since l was married, and
you, madam, know why.
| But" said Mrs. Jobson, "the last time
we went to the theater, didn't you your
! self say there was no necessity for our
starting till o'clock. and didn't our car
/ run into blockade. and didn't
| You can cut out all of those determined
efforts of yours to run me Off on siding,
| If you please interrupted Mr.. Jobson.
You'd run me back to the Punic wars II
I'd let you. but I'm not letting you this
under discussion at this juncture. You are.
| 1 am endeavoring, for your own good
| although, like all women you'll never ad-
NIT that anything your husband does for
| you is for your own good-I am trying to
| get you to exercise that latent. feeble.
| wabbly, inert, ineffective thing that you call
| your memory. Now. l desire that you be
| ready for the theater-ready to walk right
| out Of the door with me, to go to the the
| ater-at 7:45 this evening. 1 don't mean
| that you are to be what you call ready.
What you call being ready. Is ready all
| except that you've got to change your
| waist and take stitch or two in the rip
in your drop-skirt and Mareel-wave your
| back hair and sew button on your glove
| shoes and pencil your eyebrows and dab
| your nose with the powder rag and mani
cure your nails and mend the broken link
| in your lorgnette chain and hunt under
| the chiffonier for your lost sidecomb and
| change the aigrettes from one side of your
hat to the other and then take up the lost
| motion where one of the whalebones has
! slid out of your corset and sew bit of lace
! onto your V-shaped yoke or something, and
| then, when we do get out of the house and
| down the street, suddenly remember that
you've forgotten the opera glasses and
| that you've left four gas lights flaming in
| the he'd and In the bath
| That's what you call being ready. 1 call
you ready when l get you on the street
car, and not before. However, at 7:45 this
| evening l desire that you make your ap-
pearance downstairs. plumed, 'primped and
! tittivated for the theater, with no near
| ready stuff about it, and no come-backs or
rebates. Sure-enough, honest-Injun. really
| and-truly ready-ready, L mean. Now, do
| you know what 1 mean and. if so, why are
| you looking Internally vacant and drum
ming on the table with your fingers in that
| maddening way?"
"Oh. understand all right" replied Mrs.
Jobson, with the greatest amiability. 'I'll
be ready on time. But you know. my
dear, that you sometimes get so interested
in reading the paper after dinner that YOU
yourself forget to dress in time, and
| II think l have uttered the observation,
madam. sternly replied Mr.. Jobson as he
prepared to take his departure for the
| Office that I am not on the carpet at this
| moment 1 know all about what do and
| what I don't do. You want to get over
| CnaC CdCIy FEMININE HdUlC Oh Trying TO shit
| the burden on to some one else every time
| your own traits are under consideration.
| And, when it comes to that, do you mean
| to sit there and tell me that I am for:
| getful?"
WELL" replied Mrs. Jobson, there have
been times. you know. when we were going
to the theater. that you forgot to get
ready in"
You can flag that right there, madam"
| cut in Mr.. Jobson. Its too early in the
| morning for you to draw the hawser so
| tight on that fecund Imagination of yours
You ought to give yourself chance to re-
cuperate during the fresh hours of the day.
| I don't forget anything. and you know it,
make it my business, day and night
| never to forget. I'd Hike to know what
| would become of this dump If it had two
forgettors in it. Now, remember. Eight
fifteen. Keep on saying that and maybe
| We'll get to this show some time before the
curtain slides up on the third act.'
Just as Mr.. Jobson was leaving the
| house, Mrs. Jobson called after him, for
getting for the moment his sensitiveness
on that subject, Don't forget to get the
tickets dear" and he scowled back at her
for even suggesting such a thing and
plodded down the street.
! Directly after dinner that evening Mrs
Jobson slipped upstairs and began to get
ready for the theater. while Mr. Johson