The Ordway new era., 1907-01-04
RISES TO PKUIESl.
FAMILY CLOCK MAKES KICK
WITH ITS USUAL TICK.
Tired Of Continually Being mace
seapesoat, Timepieee Threatens
to Go on strike-pismal Re-
citai Of Woes.

I'm getting nervous prostratoh'
remarked the family clock to the Jap
anese vase. Just observe how Jerks
nv hands are; and | shake so | cant
keen my tick on straight I'll have 10
20 TO a sanitarium for rest ana re-
pairs soon or / shall be completely
run down.
NO. IL isn't age, nor overwork' nor
even the 2lhour day that is doing IT,
it's the strenuous excitement oil IahilE
life. You cannot imagine what jar
Il is on my nervous system to be
forced to live n constant lie. That Is
what | am doing. For Instance, the
other morning. about two O'Clock
was jogging quietly along, almost doZ-
ing. when suddenly ! heard the clicK
Of a key In tho hall door and stealthy
footsteps creeping along the corridor
All at once the lights fiared up and !
saw the master Of the house blinking
az meme, As though | We're respon-
slble for his troubles and sins. Then
we both heard stir in the other
room. Quick AS flash he had rush.
ed at me. ierked open my glass face
and thrust my hand back two hours.
Think OF il, Two solid hours-and all
that night work TO be done over again
to say nothing OF the modification |
felt al having to lie TO his wife.
The next morning. very naturally.
the lady having slept all night and
gone TO bed early was awake hours
before her husband. When she tried
TO get him mp for breakfast he hlinked
at me again and declared he wouldn't
stir until half-past nine. He had
scarcely doZed on when his wife tip
toed over to me. set me carefully at
$50 and turned back and walked her
husband up, ! tell you was dis
Custed 1t appeared to me that had
been chosen as the scapegoat to do
al the family lying.
THAT afternoon the kid came in
from school with II fresh appetite
What time yc gOin to have dinner.
MAJ he asked. and when he was told
that that repast would he served as
usual at $50 quaked in my case. for
| saw his eyes steal toward me He
said nothing, but waited until his
mother left the room. Then he crcpt
over. shook his fist In my face and
deliberately jerked me up fun half
hour
The strain was beginning to tell
on my nerves. You can imagine. But
the worst was yet to come. That
evening the daughter Of the house was
expecting caller-thc one she nj
ways takes longest to dress for and
never misses. II seems Il must have
been about time for him to come un
to the family expectations. for she of.
dered the small boy TO stay ont Of the
library. Then her eyes rested on nv
face. My. how that clock does run
she murmured. Well. he did appear.
and he did propose. and afterward-
say. wanted to turn my face to the
wall They kept 1t up unit! ~
O'Clock. Then her mother called her
from the other room.
Its only half.past ten. mother
she said.
But the old lady wasn't to bc de
ceived. They heard her getting IN
and fumbling around for her slippers
Al the sound the girl looked guilty
Then her eyes lighted on my face and
without word she stole over and set
me back an hour and a half.
And now I'm to be sent out TO he
regulated They think I'm not relia
bic. | don't tell the truth about the
ume. But it's not that needs regu.
lating-it's the family. Oh. well a
little rest cure will do me good-bu,
VINO VIII do their lying while I'm
,Jne?" :"