The Lake County times., 1907-06-19
Souse Has Two Cent Fare
Law Beaten Forty
Ways.
BLUFFS AUSTERE CON.
While He Searches Himself Train
Carries Him to His
Destination.

The austere and punctilious Com
ductor Whalen OF the NJ. {. was blufred
by a souse on the trip in last night.
Conductor Whalen's train hits Ham
mond with a miscellaneous load at 5:1I
p. m. when il keeps its word and is
due to wander towards the modern
Babylon one minute thereafter
The souse was hosted aboard at
Michigan City 1t was quite plain that
he had been dallying with the squir-
rel whisky they sell over there. In
plain language he had one that you
could recommend TO a friend. but there
was method beneath it ALL lie was
making for the Park Row station in
Chicago and he was bound to make it
at all hazards
Conductor Whalens train makes all
scheduled stops and some that are not
scheduled and it is a professional habit
with Conductor Whalen to swarm on
every passenger before he gets COM
fortahly seated
Frisfxed Himself and Couldr't Find II.
The train had hardly pulled out or
Michigan city when he swarmed on the
souse.
Ticket, please" he said. gently
shaking the subject by the shoulder
Chase yourself" said the souse
petulantly, you got my ticket. Chase
yourself and don't bother me"
But I haven't got your ticket" per-
sisted the conductor. you got on al the
last station and this is the first time
1--we seen you. Come. frisk yourself
and see If you find it."
That's funny" said the souse, maxi
ing a fumbling search Of the pockets
in which he was the least likely to
Estore his transportation.
/ Un1s that's funny" he said staring
into yaeeney, as he went through him
self. kTowef had e ticket on TIM.
level. didn't I give it TO your"
No. you didn't Come come, cough
up or I'll put you on said the con-
ductor with show OF impatience
Put ME on? Not on your life.''
replied the souse Not while / have
the price. Say. boy. could buy and
sell this road. on your way. little
one. I'll fix you all right. all right"
Stalled Him Agnin.
The conductor had to be on his way
as his duties demanded 1t.
lie had another bout with souse
little later, but the souse successfully
out-talked him. Eventually the train
reached Hammond.
Here's where you get on" said
4 Whalen, with a rude shake.
/ Not me-" replied the souse. This
place doesn't make a noise like Park
Row. This is no stop for me. I'm go
in to Chicago, understand"
With the assistance of the brake
man the recilcitrant passenger was
deposited on the ground. all the while
protesting that he had the money to
pay his fare. While the train waited
the brakeman assisted him in the
search and discovered that a pocketful
/ Of loose change had leaked into the
lining of his vest
He's all right the brakeman re-
ported to the conductor; let him ride"
Didn't Lose Him.
The souse was permitted TO board
the train and he settled himself in his
former seat. Conductor Whalen tackl-
I ed him again as the train was cross
ing the Calumet bridge.
What You here again?" exclaim-
ed the souse. What DO you want this
timer?
Your fare" answered the conductor.
You're a queer guy" chuckled the
souse. Thought we'd settled that
some time ago. I got 1t for you
Then he went through the process OF
searching himself again, Gliding. the
conductor for his impatience as he
went from pocket to pocket He had
not produced when. the train stopped
at Kensington and there he was forcib-
" elected When the train started he
tipped the last car and clambered
back TO his old perch.
The conductor did not see him again
until the train reached Sixty third
street. Then the scene was re-enacted
The souse suddenly sobered up.
we are now at Sixty third street" he
said refectively. THE fare from here
TO town is Il cents. Here's your 2
cents and be sure you kick in with it
Yes. I'll take a receipt. I've got the
two cent a mile law skinned TO DEATH
And he got of at Park Row.