davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1907-09-28
Look at All the unIv Menln

Senator Charles w. Fulton of Ore.
gon wa a stumper whose methods
were as effective as Delivers. He
would begin something like this:
Wen, must say I'm disappointed at
his crowd! Look at all the ugly men!
Not a g%oodlooking nan in the whole
convention! How does it happen that
such a lot of misshapen features on
the masculine side have been able to
attract SO many beautiful female part.
ners? Here I've been a bachelor for
4O years; but if / had known Won fel.
lows could do as well as you've done
Id never been a bachelor for Is min.
utes, etc, By this heart-to-beart
method he placed himself on the hest
OF terms with his hearers and then
LOOK a dive into politics. The Joke of
It all was, according to an article in
Appleton's, that his wife was probably
sitting in the audience listening to his
remarks.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1907-09-28
Name Sounded Familiar

l was turning over the leaves of a
magazine n afternoon and nv little
brother three years old, happened to
be standing near As l turned one
page gazed on a lovely painting of
Joan Of Arc. DO you know who this
is Ralph?" asked. He looked Al
1t for a second and then he said. ooh.
yes know; that's-that's-oh. Won
know, he stammered, She's the one
who swallowed the whale He had
confounded the two names of Jonah
and Joan.-Exchange.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1907-09-28
The Simple Life.

A man is simple when his chief care
is the wish to be what he ought to
be; that is, honestly and naturally
human. We may compare existence
to raw material. What it is, matters
less than what is made of it; as the
value Of a work of art lies in the
Towering of a workman's skill. True
life is possible in social conditions the
most diverse, and with natural gifts
the most unequal. 1t is not fortune.
or personal advantage, but our turn
ing them to account, that constitutes
the value of life. Fame adds no more
than does length of days; quality is
the thin g.-Charles Wagner.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1907-09-28
TAKES HIS VACATION ALONE.
Hard Worker Brings Arguments to
Support His Position.

Am justified, or not" said a mar
ried man, lin going off alone on my
vacation? think am, the wife agrees
with me; but confess the n~eighbors
shrug their shoulders. The case stands
like this: work hard all the year. ten
full hours a day; and when / come
home at night, there's the wife with
her worries, and there are the children
with their noisy play and their noisy
quarrels, So for so continuous weeks
land on my brief fortnights vacation
need a change from all that, a com
plete change. Therefore | 20 off alone
to the mountains. fish all day. and
IN the evening, dressed in my evening
suit, talk with beautiful young wo-
- sIU uOUUI IUtIIuUrs. / want a
change, get it, and | return home a
new man. But with the wife and kids
along, I'd return home the same man
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1907-09-28
The Artists Mlstake

A trained nurse was looking
through the advertising pages of a
magazine. Presently She came to a
picture which arrested her attention.
It's pretty she said, showing it to
her patient, but can you see what's
wrong with it?" The patient saw a
picture of a very attractive trained
nurse about to hand. a cup OF some.
thing to an equally attractive patient
who reclined in bed. NO" she ad.
mltted. 1T looks all right to me.
What's the matter with it?" 'The
nurses apron has big strings, whereas
II Should be fastened with a trim
belt. never saw a nurse in my life
who wore big strings on her apron.
The artist probably never noticed"
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1907-09-28
ReIIcs Of a ereat comnoasr.

Among life's largest ironies is the
tate that often Details the manuscript
of a genius. or no one is this truer
than of Beethoven. When this great
est of composers was alive he was in.
cessantly in financial difficulty. After
his death all his manuscripts we're
sold att auction-over 200 Of them
there were-yet they brought hardly
$500. This would be at the rate of
about $3.50 apiece. The other day the
manuscript of his G major sonata for
violin and piano, written in 1912, was
sold by a man in Leipsic to a man in
Florence for 1880 marks. or $4,000.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1907-09-28
s~keptIcal Poet.

JOAQUIN Miller was once co~nyerslns
WIN a learned professor who was Wis
ting California. To the poets ouerv
what DO you do?" the professor an.
swered that he held the chair Of meta.
physics and logic at a New England
university Whereupon the venerable
Miller with an encouraging smile. re-.
assuringly patted the professor on the
shoulder. Logic and metaphysics.
en-? Well, suppose we must have
people to look after these things. even
II they don't exist
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1907-09-28
What He Wanted to Know

How early in life the value Of
solid gold and Sterling silver q
impressed on us is illustrated .bv an
incident told with mu n enjoyment nv
a delegate from Mississippi who a..
tended a recent convention. One of
his %neighbors calling to bid him god-
speed brought his six-year-old son
with him, and to amuse the younester
he was shown the aquarium wbere
numerous gold fish glittered and ellis.
tened. After gazing at them IN ad.
mitation for a few moments he was
asked what he thought of them Ana
IN reply said They're pretty, but
are they solid?"
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1907-09-28
If He Had a Million.

SAY, Moike, If yez had a million
dollars given We to-day, phwat wud yez
DO hrst?" Sure, an I'd 20 to the
Palace hotel and engage a room. an
ia lave wurrud with the clerk to call
me at five o'clock in the morning"
Why, phwat wud yez do that fur?"
All" said Mike, with a complacent
grin, "whin he tould me to get up
I'd say: oh, go to the divvle; / don't
have to- Judges Library.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1907-09-28
CLUB LOCO A OLD.
Chinese Association Has Lately Been
R%eorganized in England.

The little club that has been estab-
lished in London under the fascinating
title Of the "Idlers Of the Bamboo
Grove was started in China more
than a thousand years ago by a cele.
brated poet and mystic. This exceed
ingly old gentleman is still the nom
inal president Of the club, and at the
reunions of the "Idlers" a chair is
left for him although the
seems unnecessary. The society will
not be a very large one at any time.
AT present it consists of a small body
OF orientalists and literary men who
are Interested in the east. Needless
TO say, some members of the Chinese
legation r to be found in the ranks.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1907-09-28
Don't Scatter FrIcndshIp.

It is good to feel real sfectio
Il Is no particular good to have
Ing fancies for any cne you me
Is not good to fritter away your
OF feeling seriously. for It is
a serious thing to be interest
any one, and It IS necessary
quite sure Of yourself about It.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1907-09-28
Japanese sn,am -.

our Indebtedness to Japan Is aue.
,ns n'ea by the remarkable chestnut
snat mails from there. 1t is more
Smari than cur native species, and
Dears abundantly when only 4 FAM
years old. Aside from its usefnlness
y 2 nut tree. It is quite ornamental
Home Magazine. An'eu
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1907-09-28
A HydropathIe Cure.

Wen! Welll" was the fayorite
clamation Of surprise Of a certain
erary worker. Well Well!e no 1
ter whether things were wen orI
"Welll Welll" he exclaimed the q
evening at the end Of a semi.t
story. Two holes in the era
said a tair listener. It took him
ment to catch on then he excla
Well Well Welt" Three h
the ground" said the girl.
man was cured Of his fasorite
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1907-09-28

Mrs G. w. Hyde spent Thursday ii
Kansas City.
J.. r. Moorehead spent Thursday in
Kansas City.
Miss Birdie slusher spent Friday in
Higginsville.
W. II. Mackie, who has been very
i'll, is slowly improving.
Gustav Haerle went to Kansas CITY
Friday morning on business.
Miss Carrie Edmonds left Thurs.
day evening for Oklahoma City.
Okla, to spend the winter with rela-
tives.
Mrs. D. V. Kenpedy, who has been
been spending a few days with friends
in this city, returned to her home in
Kansas City Friday morning.
The rear end of the first floor of
FredendaI and Wilson's store has
recently undergone a remodelinp.
The balcony has been extended to the
west wall and the department of
mems hats and trousers moved up
stairs. Under the balcony is a large
stock of ladies' ready to wear gar
mentsA The shoe department has been
moved further forward and another
set of shelves put in. BY the new
arrangement the store can handle a
much larger stock than formerly ard
with no inconvenience.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1907-09-28
a Suspicious Attan.Io.

my husband is really Very atteD.
y yesterday he bought me a dozen
Veils. Meggendorfer Batter
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1907-09-28
MAYHEM NOTES
Continued from LIST page)

Miss Alma Kincheloe is visiting in
H~igginsville this week with relatives.
Rev. Chas. Powell is here on a visit
with his father, D. J. Powell. and
other relatives and friends. This is
his birthplace and he loves to
come every year, so as to keen in
touch with the growth of the county
and its people.
I. I. Pickett was the recipient of
an old fashioned pound cake last
Saturday the 2lst 1t was made by
his wife. She has been in the habit
OF doing this in years gone be. 1t is
a reminder of that one more wear has
been added to his age.
Miss Ruby Smith received the vote
necessary to declare her the pref
tIest girl who attended the box sup
per held at the Wheatly School House
last Fridry evening. The receipts of
the supper were about $4,000, which
will G the library fund.
Mrs. j. T. McGrew of Warrensburg
came owe last Thursday to stav
a while with her mother, Mrs. L. C.
Chiles, who has been confined to her
room for sometime. She was reported
some better this week. Hone She
will soon be convalescing.
About now is a good time for our
citizens to keep their ears to the
ground" BY doing so they may hear
the rumbling of d saloon petition.
Why is it so necessary TO he so care
full and secret about getting up a pc
tition for a saloon? once in a while
you will hear an advocate say. 1--WE
want a saloon. 1t is agood thing" If
it is so good, why so private and so
secret about it? Why not come out in
the open?
Art Reynolds came vending his way
up from the depot last Friday morn
my just in from Okla, where he
had gone to look over the state for
location. He was there when the
vote N .statehood was made. He be-
ing a good democrat and ALWAYS /
to vote when democratic issues
are up, we asked htln if he hand in it.
said the people out there are hap.
Ply and highly pleased with the re-
suit, and he was wiling to let matters
rest just as they were.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1907-09-28

WAS G.
(eland
Clevela
down f.
Ia he nc
ion plat
L meant
groom.
b minute
had til
ling. and
a young
Bt car
and sa
to the Ct
I your"
md the B.
be card.
|lationsit
to whe
d and 81
b bridegi
led the 8
7 your"
Just
ger. I'll
able sh
are havii
over
our ally
You n
land ma
he'll n
Jaw for
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1907-09-28

I
sam
tive
aoh
thr,
ter
this
sire
the
for
The
vers
Nj
City
a We
MI
arrit
with
Mrs.
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'p'
80,
cure
woun,
Guara
drugg
Five
craps
tluSe
arrest
time a
that Il
virq
Satpr5
with h
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who ha
ud dy
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y beca
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lven !
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estion
on of
table a
nd give
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eIoY :
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Mr.. a
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END til
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$3.50
"o0
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~
~"
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-11-28
REAL CAUSE FOR eLApNEss.
How Young Lawyer Carried Comfort
to Convicted Client

An amusing story is told by Har-
per's Weekly at the expense Of a
prominent Baltimore lawyer. who. like
most young attorneys, got his first
case by assignment from the bench.
His client had been indicted for muir
der. and his conviction was a fore
gone conclusion. as his guilt was I'M
questionable.
The result OF the trial was a SEN
tence to be hanged; but the man
made an appeal to the governor for
pardon and was anxiously awaiting n
reply thereto when his lawyer visited
him in his cell.
Il got good news for you-very
good news!" the young lawyer said.
grasping the mans hand
Did the governors IL a pardon?"
the man exclaimed joyously.
We'll. no. The fact Is the governor
refuses to interfere. But an uncle Of
yours has died and left you 5000. and
you will have the satisfaction OF know
ing that your lawyer got paid. you
know" was the comforting explana-
ton
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-11-28
WHAT WAS IT
The Woman Feared?

What a comfort to fad II is not "the
awful thing" feared. but only chronic
indigestion. which proper food can re-
lieve.
A woman in Ohio says:
Il was troubled for years with indi-
gestion and chronic constipation. At
times | would have such a gnawinR
In my stomach that l actually feared
l mad al dislike to write or even
think OF what feared.
Seeing an account OF Grape-Nuts
l decided to try it. After a short time
| was satisfied the trouble was not
the awful thing feared but was still
bad enough. However. l was relieved
OF bad case of dyspepsia by chang
ing from improper food to Grape-Nuts.
Since that time my bowels have
been as regular as a clock. had also
noticed before l began to eat Crane
Nuts that ! was becoming forgetfuI of
where ] put little things about the
house. which was very annoying.
But since the digestive organs have
become strong from eating Crane
Nuts. my memory is good and NV
mind as clear as when / was Young
and nm thankful" Name given by
Postum Co. Battle Creek. Mich. Read
the little booklet, The Read 10 Well.
viiie' In packages. There's a reason"
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-11-28
BABY ircHEo TERRIBLY.
face and Neck Covered with ishared
skin-Doetors No AVsil-Cured
by Cutieurs Remedies.

MY baby's face and neck were GOV.
cred with itching skin similar to ecze-
ma. and she suffered terribly for over
year. I took her to a number Of doc
tors. and also to different colleges. to
no avail. Then Cuticura Remedies
were recommended to me by Miss c..
1 did not use 1t at first. as I had tried
SO many other remedies without any
favorable results. At last tried Cuti-
cura Soap. Cuticura Ointment and
Cuticura Resolvent Pills. and to my
surprise noticed an Improvement.
After using three boxes OF the Cuti.
cura Ointment. together with the Soap
and Pills. | am pleased to say she is
altogether a different child and the
picture Of health Mrs. A. c. Brestlin.
III y. Lincoln ST.. Chicago. Ill. Oct.
20 and 30. 1906"
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-11-28
THE STORY.

MOI until after the news Of the death
~ OF Absalom and the utter failure
oi the rebellion which had at the FIRST
Deem managed SO brilliantly and sue
eessfully did the people Of Israel ana
Judah realize the enormity Of their
wrong doing Then they wondered
how they could have been SO easily led
astFay. and contention arose among
the people. each charging the other
with responsibility for the missten
They saw now how vain and ambitious
fellow the man Absalom had been:
how little Of real worth there was To
be found in him. and they saw also
as never before the sterling qualities
OF their aged king. and appreciated
how much was owing to him for the
nation greatness and prosperity.
During those days OF darkness. and
doubt, and uncertainty, memory was
busy. and the people recalled David's
mighty deeds. from the FIRST encounter
with the giant Goliath to the many
brilliant campaigns through which he
had led his armies. When had the
nation had such deliyerer as David
had been? When had they ever had
such leader as David. since the time
OF Moses and joshua Where was
there ruler in all the nations about
so faithful to his people, and so loyal
10 Cod He had kept the nation free
from idolatrous practices OF the IA.
tons about. He had organized and
solidified the nation as a whole as {,
had never been before. He had made
the name OF Israel to be honored and
feared among the nations about.
And with the reaction which began
in the nation following the collapse
Of Absalom's rebellion the memory Of
all these things swept over the minds
Of the people. and the question arose
on every hand:
What shall be done?"
The king had been driven forth
What was now TO be done? Shame at
their disloyalty, and anxiety over tho
consequences of their wrong doing
gave rise to wranglings and disputinRs
among themselves. and added to the
confusion of the situation.
Some there were-peryerse and re-
bellious spirits-who set themselves tn
plotting further mischief. Absalom
was dead. to be sure, but the spirit
OF Absalom still was at work in their
hearts and far from longing for the re.
turn Of King David. they secretly set
themselves to further insurrection. The
king was old. and could not be with
them many years longer. He had
lost his grip on things He had been
driven out Of the royal city. Why
again saddle the aged king upon
them? Let him remain in exile
They would seek out another who
should rule.
This new conspiracy was strongest
among certain Of the tribes of Ben
Iamin, prominent among whom was
Sheba. the SON of Bichri But among
all the tribes of Israel there were NAL
contents. who were only waiting the
call Of leader 10 make fresh rupture
in the nation.
Such was the chaotic state of the
nation while the old and sorrow-strick-
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-11-28
ERMoNETTE.

Z why speak ye not a word Of
. bringing the king back Sad
q that the king has been forced TO
Z fee: but sadder still is Il that
Z the people are Slow 10 bring him
o back.
3 what a picture We have here
Z Of the human heart ard its re-
Z istions 20 its Lord and King,
? Jesus Christ.
D The allur,ns voice Of seIfin-
4 oulgenee and sin speaks in the
Z ear ard u steals away our
Z hearts from, loyalty to the true
) King.
4 The next step in the down.
ward course IS open rebellion
2 against the rule Of the true and
) rishtfuI King.
4 The king Is driven forth. One
! cannot read the chapter re.
counting osvids departure from
, Jerusalem without an over.
~helnins sense Of the sadness
and shame Of II alt. But how
( infinitely more tragic and sad
2 IS Il when the King Of kings and
5 Lord Of lords Is forced to flee
I from the rebeIIious hearth
I And when the fires OF sin
? have burned themselves out and
) the heart feels its desoIation
( and loss. what reproseh Il is
( that there is no move to bring
7 the King back and reestsblish
) him upon the throne!
( The King cannot come except
: BY invitation. He may not be
FAR away. Nay. Scripture giveth
) the Kings own words:
( Behold. stand at the door
! and knock" he says. He waits
on the Threshold. The heart
) must say: Come in"
( Think Of what Jerusalem, was
! without its king. The palace
( Of cedar deserted, and the
J city without a ruler to whom
they could turn for advice and
; help.
Think Of the human heart
? without its King. The temple
which God has created as his
own peculiar dwelling place
empty. or worse. occupied by
self. and the whole life drifting
without the master hand Of the
Pilot 70 steer clear Of the rocks
and the shadows upon which so
many lives are shipwrecked.
Let US 60. then. at once and
call back our King.
Row many times daily are
We forced TO DO this very thing?
J Neglect. or conduct that is
worse. drives forth the King.
! and we must turn ard invite
. him again to enter. in order tina,
J we may sup with him and he
Z with Us.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-11-28
One of tie
Essentials

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Of promoting health and happiness and
right living and knowledge Of the worlds
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Products Of sctual excellence and
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One Of the products Of that class, Of
known component parts. an Ethical
remedy. approved by physicians and com
mcnlcl by the Wcll-lnformed Of the
N1-ilasa valuable and wholesome family
laxative Is the wei known syrup of Figs
and fliNir ot >rnna. To ct its beneficial
elects always buy tho genuine, manu-
featured hy tho California Fis syrup Co,
only. and Cor sale by all leading druggists.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-11-28
TuMoRs CONQUERED
Overwhelming Proof that Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound Succeeds.

One OF the greatest triumphs Of
Lydia +. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound is the conquering of woman's
dread enemy Tumor.
The growth of tumor is SO in
sidious that frequently its presence
is wholly unsupported until 1t is we'll
advanced.
So called wandering pains" NAV
come from its early stages or the
presence of danger may be made
manifest by excessive monthly peri
DDS accompanied by unusual pain, from
the abdomen through the groin and
thigh.
II you have mysterious pains. II
there are indications Of inflammation
or displacements. secure a bottle of
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound, made from native roots and
herbs. right away and begin its use.
The following letters should con-
vince every suffering woman OF its
virtue. and that it actually does
conquer tumors.
Mrs. May Fry. OF s3s W. Colfax
Ave. South Bend. lad, writes:
Dear Mrs. Pinkham:-
1 take great pleasure in writ
Ing to thank you for what Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound has
done for me. | also took the Blood
Purifier in alternate doses with the
Compound. Your medicine removed a
cyst tumor of four years growth.
which three Of the best physicians
declared | had. They had said that
only an operation could help me. am
very thankful that followed a friends
advice and took your medicine. II has
made me strong and well woman
and | shall recommend 1t as long as
| live"
Mrs. E. F. Hayes. of Is Ruggles St,
Boston, Mass. writes:
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-11-28

A writer says that when he was a
lad the standard of gentlemanliness
was impressed upon him by his father
not with a strap-in a way that he
never forgot. They were walking in
the country. and as they reached a
stile workingman. who was on the
other side before them. and had the
right Of crossing first. stood aside IN
I'll they had passed. The boy. thought
less. after the fashion of his kind got
over frst. SAYING never a word. Then
his father got over and said. Thank
YOU to the man. Turning to his SON
he said: You did not thank the man
who stood aside for you" But he
isn't gentleman" answered the lad
Perhaps not. was his fathers crush
ing rebuke. but | want you to be"