Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-09-30
EVERYONE'S TO MOVE
Local Wreckers Are Engaged for
Weeks Ahead.
IE FACTS AND IDEALS
Two Moves Equal One Wreck and
There's Nothing Of a Joke
in This, Either.

Today and tomorrow Washington dances
the domestic lancers. Forward and back,
Swing your partners, Hotfoot the grand
change! Tum fiddle tum, tum tee tee, It'd
die tum.
New York used to be the only town where
there was a regularly appointed day when
folks went foolish with the heat. Twas
May 1. Down here in Washington tbs Oc-
tober l. But the difference Is only an Incl
dent and unimportant at that. The growth
OF apartments in the National capital has
turned the trick.
In the old days the grand change wasn't
on the cards. Mr.. and Mrs. Family squa-
ted under one roof tree until the Roosevelt
ideas overflowed the premises. Then there
was move. perhaps. Anyhow. there was
an executive session on every change of
domicie. and moving was considered a
serious proposition. Nowadays folks hop
from fiat to fiat with the gleeful irrespOns-
biity Of frivolous humming birds futter-
Ing round flower bed. And two moves
equal one wreck. That's automatic. Just
as much so, too. as that two and two make
four-not sometimes. but all the time.
''Move Mep" Nothing Doing.
This year the Fll-take-your-flat- you'll
take-mine proposition is worse than ever.
So say the moving men, and they ought
to know. 'Tother day a Star reporter.
who calls every place home where he
hangs his hat. called up all the big NOV
ing people and some Of the little ones to
try to make a date. There was nothing
doing. OF course. The Star man wasn't
personally interested-his possessions con-
sisting of a setter dog and right new
toothbrush-but ned been told to do 1t
md Inf ha6 hip, Inv no p,,t
even If he had owned brass bed and
other household fxings 'twould have been
the same.
please move me soon," pleaded The
Star man in a regular "Heaven-only-
knows-what-Im- going-to-do" voice. Twas
over the phone. and the man at the other
end Of the wire happened to be one of the
But the pleading didn't even make
dent
Booked to October 49," the moving
man said. Maybe I can do something
after that"
But" groaned The Star man. I've got
to get out Of my fiat by October l. And
I've tried all the other moving men. What
am l going to do?"
A Cruel Jest.
Lots of vacant places in Lafayette
square," came back the unfeeling reply
And there you are.
OF course tomorrow's the big day of the
grand change. Fact is. It's sort of last
CALL" All local yearly leases are dated from
October 1 and landlords lack soul and senti-
ment. The fact that Smith is trying to move
into fiat % in the Scuppernong at the same
time that Jones is trying to move out
doesn't interest them in the least A lease is
a lease, and the idiosyncracies of the I'M
easy are endured, not encouraged.
OF course the big moving companies try
to hire experts in the moving line men of
repression. gentles all; large brawny fndi-
M aoti oyI
not. as a rule. go out of their way to break
things. Properly encouraged by silver
crossed palms. these professionals have
vintage OF '4S through the fve-roomed
mazes of a too-sweet fiat, down three
flights Of elevatorless descent and out of
4x5 doorway without removing all of
the veneer from the relic or the plaster
from the walls. Properly persuaded they
have been seen to coax the family ice chest
and an oil painting of grandmother when
young out of the house and into the hos
pitable moving van with grandmother still
right side up. But these and other incidents
Of this ilk are ideall:c but unusual. They
have happened, but there's no certainty
that they'll ever happen again.
Special Training Necessary.
Careful study of the records of the census
and other government bureaus indicates
that moving is adopted as a profession
only Wy those persons possessing a predi-
lection for battle, murder and sudden
death. Aside from this leaning the pro-
fession requires considerable intelligence.
Mr.. FamLy Man. If fired from his Job and
forced to move folks for living would
make horrible fizzle of the effort It's a
ten to one bet that in loading his van he d
put the hand-painted chocolate st given
to Aunt En- by the man 10 whom she was
engaged in the year that little Eva had
the measles top of the perfectly good
oil stove that mother didn't have any use
for, but hated to throw away Nothing
could more clearly demonstrate Mr.. Family
Mans inefticiency. 1nexperience would pro-
tect him. but lost would be the respect of
his employers ANY good mover knows
that chocolate sets and such make the firm
est sort of a foundation for superstruc-
ture of oil stoves. trunks, tables, screen
doors and such. They've tried it, and the
question is settled.
Way back yonder in the dim and distant.
Davy Crockett who afterward made the
city of New York. He landed there about
the moving time Of May 1. To say that
Davy was some pestered in his mind would
be real conservative. Take any man from a
community where the household furniture
in the most recherche dwellings consisted
of bearskin rug and two dollars worth Of
buckshot and put him down in New York
or Washington on the day when the Do
nestle Lancers is in the dancing, and he'd
act Just the same way. So when Davy had
hooked up his unlatched lower jaw from its
temporary resting place on his breastbone
he ran around in circle. chasing the big
question "Why?" And he never did get an
answer that satisfied him. 1t just was NOV
Ing day That was ALL People who didn't
move then were considered without the pale
of the most exclusive society. They might
he respectable. but they didn't count and
never were asked to serve on the barbecue
committee on the management of the
firemens ball.
It's pretty nearly that way in Washing
ton Some folks move for this reason and
some for that. Some move to keep ahead Of
the water bugs and some to anticipate the
collector And there are any number Of
other reasons. some sound and excellent.
and all expensive. So there you are.
So the Domestic Lancers is In full swing.
Forward and back Swing your partners!
II..ko.,t he Grand ChaQYe, Ium fiddle