The Ketchikan miner., 1907-04-06
aassssssss@sSssesesss&s
IT IS TO LAUGH
ssNsNN@Ns&seNsseasa@s@esS
THE YOUNG WIDOW.

She is modest, but not hashful: Free and easy. but not bold; Like an apple-ripe and mellow: Not too young, and not too old: Half inviting, half repulSing,
 Now advancing. and now shy: There is mischief in her dimple,
 There is danger in her eve. She has studied human nature,
 She is sehooled in all her arts; She has taken her diploma
 As the mistress of all hearts: She can tell the very moment
 When to sight and when to smile O. maid is something charming:
 But the widow all the while, Are you sad? how very serious
 Will her handsome face become: Are you angry? she is wretched.
 Lonely. iriendless. tearfnl, dumb: Are you mirthful? how her laughter.
 Silver sounding, will ring out; She can lure. and catch, and play you,
 As the angler does the trout. You old bachelors of forty.
 Who have grown so bold and wise, Young Americans of twenty,
 With the love looks in your eyes, You may practice all your lessons.
 Taught by Cupid since the fall, But I know a little widow
 Who could win and fool you all.
 Philadelphia Bulletin.
 Der reason. said Brother Will jams. "that you never see an angel with a mustaehe is--de man had sich a close shave ter get dar.'
 Johnny, what is hypo- crite2"
 Johnny-"A boy wot comes t school wid a smile on his face.
 Wife--Bah. Tell me any great or heroic action you ever performed in your life,
 Husband-I prevented you from dying an old maid, didn't l? Isn't that enough?
 Dick-"Well, I'll never try to steal another kiss from May Yielding. v
 Jack-"Did she scream Dick?"
 Dick Scream nothing, She grab he'd me by the hair. and 1 guess l had to steal more than million be- fore she'd let go. :"
 "How's this?r said CamSo to Caw- ker. as they sat down to the annual banquet oi the Allied Sons of Lib arty. There is no wine on the menu. but half dozen glasses at each place. n ''The menu is 10 take home to our wives. was the satisfactory explanation.
 Money talks. Al the conversation game it nevar
 halks. You can hear it at the show, Not particularly low. At the opera il talks, talks, talks. Money talks. It's a chinner throughout all our
 earthly walks. At fashionable affair You can hear a million air It's opinion as il talks, talks, talks. Money talks, With megaphone around the town
 it stalks. It continually resounds, Overwhelming other sounds. As unceasingly il talks. talks, talks. He-They say apple pie without cheese is like kiss without squeeze. Do you believe it?
 She-I'm not prepared to judge: I've never had kiss without squeeze. Denver Free Press.
 If the day looks kinder gloomy, An your chances kinder slim:
 If the situations puzzlin, An the prospects awful glim.
 An perplexities keep pressin' Till all hope is nearly gone.
 Jus bustie up an grit your teeth, An keep on keepin' on.
 Butcber-Here you are, madam. Prime piece of mutton. Best value in town.
 Old Lady examining Look here. Mr. Roberts won't take it. You call il prime: call it Napoleon.
 Butcher-Napoleon. You don't mean the meat is old. madam, do you?
 Old Lady-No: but there is too much bony part about it for me.
 The chief editor had sent the re- porter out to have an interview with very aged woman they had discover ed. and the reported had came back.
 Well" inquired the chief editor, did you see her?n
 Course l did that's what l went for.''
 How old is she?''
 '.She said she was no years old.
 Every well. When you write your article put her down at l25. The woman isn't living who will tell her roai arro -