The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1907-01-27

PERKINS THE GREAT
..G.C.sc,.c.c.c.c.C.C.c CO.
The Adventures of The
Lame and The Halt
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..

, as clear and sparkling as crystal lie
removed the cork and handed the flask
to me. | shifted at it, and hastily replaced
| the cork.
Perkins grinned with pleasure.
Fierce, isn't it?" he asked. "Smels
as if it ought to cure. don't It? Got the
real old style matery-med ca pothecary-
shop aroma. None of your little-pill,
sugar-coated business about O-no--to-
cetera water! Not for minute! It's the
good old quinine, ipecac, calomel know
when-you're-tal -a-dose sort. Why,
say! Any man that takes dose of that
| water has got to feel better. He de-
| serves to feel better"
| 1 shifted at the flask again, and reso-
lutely returned 1t to Perkins.
Yes" l admitted at has the full legal
allowance of smell There's no doubt about
| 1t being a medicinal water. Nobody would
mistake it for table water, Perkins; a
child would know it wasn't meant for per-
| fume but what is II good for? What will
| 1t cure?"
Perkins tilted his Pratt hat over one ear
and crossed his legs.
Speaking as one Chicago man to an
! other" he said slowly, what do you
! think of rheumatism
III you want me to speak as man to
man, Perkins, I replied, Il may say that
rheumatism is a mighty uncomfortable
disease"
! ITS prevalent" said Perkins eagerly
| ITS the most prevalent disease on tho
map. The rich must have it; the poorest
can afford it; the young and the old
simply roll in it. Why man." he ex-
| claimed, rheumatism was made 'speci-
ally for O-no-to-so-for%h water. There's
millions and millions Of cases of rheuma-
| tism, and there's oceans and oceans of
Perkins World Famous O-no-to- what
you-cal-it water. Great, What will
cure rheumatism? Nothingl What will
O-no-to-so-on water curcl Nothing! There
you are! They fit into each other like
foot in n shoe"
He leaned back and smiled. Then he
waved his hand jauntily in the air.
But Imdnot partial" he added. "If
you can think of better disease We'll
cure it. Anything.
Perkins I said. "would you take this
water for rheumatism"
would I2'' he fairly shouted, "Nould
/? Say! II had the rheumatism I'd live
on it. I'd drink 1t by the gallon. ia
battle in it,, f.-
He stopped abruptly and smile broke
forth at one corner of his mouth and
gradually spread over his face until it
broke into broad grin which he vainly
endeavored to stife
"Warmw he murmured and then his
grin broadened little and he muttered--
luke warm,''--and grinned again and
ran his hand through his hair. He sat
down and slapped his knee
SAY" he cried. Greatest idea yet,
I'm a benefactorl Think of the poor
old people trying to drink that stuff
Think of them trying to force 1t down
their throatsl IT would be a sin to make
a dog drink it,,
He wiped an actual tear from his eye.
what If had to drink It! What If my
poor old mother had to drink it! Cruelty!
But we won't make 'em. We will be
good! We will be generousl We will he
great. We will let them battle. In 1t.
Twice day! Morning and night, Luke
warm Why make weak human beings
swallow ite And besides they'll need
more, Think of enough O-no-to-so-forth
water to swim in twice day. And good
old Perkins paving the freight
Without another word I reached over
and clasped Perkins by the hand. 1t was
a silent eommunon OF souls--of the souls
ofstwo live, up-to-date Chicogans. When
the clasp was loosened we We're bound
together in noble purpose TO supply.
O-no-to- something water to a waiting.
pain cursed world We were banded to-
gether like good Samaritans to supply a
remedy TO the lame and the halt. And
Perkins paying the freight.
Then Perkins gave me the details. There
We're to be three, of US in the deal There
was Young man from Glaubus. Iowa, in
Chicago running street carssp the North
Side. He had been rapr q near Glaubus
and his father had ow - 4 e.rm, but