The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1907-02-07
IDLE MONSTER
IT HAS BEEN
DIR. Halterman Calls the City Crem.
atory in An Interesting
Report.


Report.
DIR. G. w. Halterman, chairman OF
the sanitation committee OF the city
council. had the following typewrit.
ten report to make at the council
meeting Friday night, but the health
officers report took precedence and
DR.. Halterman's report was not read
This morning at 1880 drove
down the river road beyond the city
limits to visit the crematory-a pro-
digious monster. notorious and far
famed. BY the road side, gaunt,
lank and lean from one week OF fast
ing lay his great Leyiathan looking
to all appearances. as though for a
breakfast with whic to begin his
days feast he would enjoy about
ten councilmen. mayor and city
clerk; these being not at hand he
apparently undismayed began the
appeasing of his keen appetite with
the usual bill of fare-common slops.
frozen cabbage. tin cans, beer bot
ties, etc.
Keeper McAtee was there faith.
fully feeding his ravenous, flaming
nav on such as the city commonly
affords. Wondering and amazed at
ris insatiate appetite looked on for
breakfast with which to begin his
some time-always devouring, never
glutted, never satiated. swallowing
an entire weeks production OF gar
bage in one day. A horse dead at
the age of twenty was TO be added
to the diet list when once his gas
tronomic mechanism was working
we'll, when once his gastric secretions
were well aroused.
Eats n Horse.
The keepers idea being that after
a long fasting it would in all prob
ability not be we'll to begin with a
heavy diet; coinciding in this matter
it was agreed to add the body of tho
horse to what would about cor
respond with the noon meal when
being fed regularly every day. Later
In the day courses were to consist
of barrels, onion and hob-nailed liy-
er. During the week an immense
quantity of edibles had accumulated
the keeper thought probably be-
yond the capacity of his charge for
one day. Being a physician 1 was
asked TO advise, my advice being to
encourage the taking of the full
list possible and II any serious
symptoms arose to throw in a box of
Stewards Dyspepsia Tablets saved
out Of the accumulation earlier in
the day for such an emergency. One
or two Of its Stats. ribs or crate bars
have collapsed. letting some things
through not well digested. Keeper
McAtee says because of a faulty met
abolish, over combustion, too much
heat-has been too hot. Kidd says
because of inactivity, not hot enough
too cold. Not being familiar with
its anatomy and physiologic work
ings did not venture an opinion nor
suggest remedy The cage of this
concern needs lock on the front
door, Without 1t there is DANCE: OF
the thing getting away.
Only Few Present.
Only few were present at the
opening today. All had positive
convictions as to how 1t should be
run. One well meaning resident oil
the neighborhood thought the county
and city should be indicted for al.
lowing garbage to accumulate on a
public highway. Mentally 1 coin.
cided with his views but said moth.
ing.
Whether or not the crematory
should be open every day in the
week is a question for this council
to decide. The question of the col
lection and disposal of city garbage
is perplexing one due to defective
and incomplete law regulating. the
same. and until a better law govern
ing this subject Is made an ordinance
Of the city an effective and satisfac-
tory solution Of the question will not