The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-10-05

she-Don't you think the new debu
tante's voice is perfectly heavenly He
Quite unearthly.-The Bystander.
He with a sigh)-I have only one
friend on earth-my dog. She-Why
don't you get another dog?-Chicago
Daily News.
Citiman-Yes, she's married to real
estate agent and good, honest fellow,
too. Subbubs-Good gracious! Big
amy, eh71Philadelphia Press.
Johnny, doesn't your conscience tell
you that you are doing wrongf" Eyes.
mother, but father said wasn't to be-
lieve everything / heard."-Punch.
Patience-Did you ever hear the
Duette sisters sing In concerto Patrice
No; one always seems to be a little
ahead Of the other.-Yonkers States
man.
mo, don't care for English opera"
why not?" Because it bothers me to
listen to what the singers are saying
when I want to Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Nell-She always said she wanted q
husband who was easily pleased. Bess
Did she get such one? Nell-Why,
yes; didn't he marry herf-Lippincott's
Magazine.
e'T should think" she said, "that golf
ing would make you awfully tired"
mo, stand 1t first rate. You see, I
never keep my score at all."-Chicago
Record Herald.
Church. see that Argentine has q
camille horse railway. 1t Is the long
est in the world. Gotham-Gee! Think
Of holding on to a strap for a miles l.
Yonkers Statesman.
II must get you another chair for the
kitchen, Katie; 1 see you have only
one" "Sure, you needn't mind. ma'am.
have none but gintleman callers."-
Yonkers Statesman.
am going to put fender on the
front Of my runabout" $50 you won't
run over some oneY "Nope. So II
won't hurt the radiator when do
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Wigwag- fine dog Of yours,
Saphedde. Saphedde-Yes, indeed, he
is. That dog knows as much as I do.
Wigwag-I'll give you a quarter for
him.-Philadelphia Record.
Excuse me, sir, but this is the sixth
time that you have gone away without
paying" 'Oh. my dear young lady
when man sees you he forgets every.
thing else. "-Fliegende Blaetter.
Lady Customer wish to tell you
how these shoes Of mine are to b
made. Shoemaker-Oh, know that
well enough-large inside, and small
outside.-Meggendorfer Blaetter.
"Oh! Willie, what's this queer look
in thing with about million legsT'
That's a millennium. It's somethin
like centennial, only It has more
legs."- Natural History" in Life.
Nell-Yes, she said her husband mar
ried her for her beauty. What do you
think Of that? Belle-Well, I think
her husband must feel like a widowel
now.-Catholic Standard and Times.
Blinks-The first principle Of an
archigm 10 to divide with your fellow
man, is 1t not? Winks-No. The flrs,
principle is to make your fellow mar
divide with you.-Chicago Daily News
Hotel Proprietor-Has not the mar
In No. Is received his bill yetf Head
Waiter-Ce Certainly Fifteen minute.
ago. AStrange! hear him still sing
ing In his neutrality-suspicious. Blaet
ter.
Tired Tatters-I saw de new moor
over me left shoulder las night
wonder wot OATS sign uv7 Weary
walker-It's a sign dat de mex plact
youse ask fer work youse'll git it.
Chicago Daily News.
Mr.. Phoxy-Did you send the Borem.
a card for our sat homer Mrs
Phoxy-Yes; how could get out Of it
Mr.. Phoxy-r1l tell Borem that Jenki
ID coming. Borem owes him money
Terre Haute Tribune.
"Ahl pretty lady" said the fortune
teller, you wish to be told about you
future husbandT "Not much" replied
Mrs Galley. 1--WE come DO learn wher,
my present husband Ii when he's alb
sent Press.
Husband explaining his late home
coming my dear. I couldn't help II
I Just missed the last car and had Il
wait forty minutes Wife-Now dom
blame 1t on the street car company
They've troubles enough without you.-
Detroit Free Press.
Hawkins-Oh, well, Bjenks isn't sucl
q bad fellow, after all Dawkins-
What makes you say thatf Hawkins
Well, he wouldn't lend me the $40 tina
I asked him for, but he didn't take ad
vantage Of the opportunity to give m,
good advice.-Somsrville Journal.
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