Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-10-11

''YOU SEE NAPOLEON CROSSING THE ALPS. D
cations grow hair on an old rug or
rag carpet and make Persian prayer
rugs of them.
I invented Pilgrim Joe's admirable
alternative. Eat two dozen green ap-
pies and one dose will cure any case
of collie you may have. The alterna-
tive is to die if you don't keep it
handy in the house. One tablespoon
full of my alternative dissolved in hot
water will make the family washing
look whittier than snow.
1 invented Pilgrim JOe's Pain Alleyi-
ator, the greatest thing of the kind
known to the world. 1t has saved
ten million people from the grave dur
ing the last fifteen years and thus pre-
vented a trust in cemetery lots.
Kings take it. Emperors cry for it.
Cars viii have no other.
lnstiils Ambition.
I travel over the country sorrering
with the sorrowful and lifting up the
downtrodden and despairing. l instill
ambition and renew hope. I peel off
the old hide and grow new one.
take tintypes at 10 cents take.
I carry a grasshopper in a bottle to
show the world that even the most fe-
rocious animal can be tanned by kind
ness.
have a fighting dog under the wag-
on, and the old boss that draws my
wagon can make mile in 2:40 on the
track.
My latest and perhaps most interest
ing exhibition is a number of moving
pictures that do move. After the sale
of my medicines on the public square
I open my picture exhibition and give
a lecture explaining things.
There are no bucking bronchos.
There are no Indians nor buffaloes.
There is no stage robbery.
There is no theatrical performance.
1t is simply my show and no one
else's. and the public should not get
things mixed up. l was a leading the
atrical man years ago, but finding that
1 was expected to marry and get di-
vorce at least twice year | gave it up.
In my moving pictures 1 show Cen
eral Washington at Valley Forge. He
is suffering with hunger. He moves
over to the cupboard and gnaws a
bone. He moves back to the fireplace
and gnaws n SaSsafras root. He is
seen signing and shaking his head. /
The audience can see that he despairs
of American liberty. One bowl Of oat-
meal and milk would win independence;
but. alas. it is not there. As this pic
tore finally moves along out of sight
there is not a dry eye in the hall. Men .
have offered me So if I would feed the (
general up and let him go ahead and
lick the British. but 1 have refused. / /
stick rigidly to the historical in pre-
senting my pictures.
| show Louis XVI. on the scaffold.
He is walking back and forth and
whether he had better die or
not. He muses.. He ponders. He
finally decides that as the revolution
lists have gone TO so much trouble TO
get things ready he will not disap-
point them. He mods to the execution
er to do his duty and takes his place
on the plank and has his head cut OF.
This picture is so realistic that hus-
hands and wives go home and dispute
on the quantity of blood shed.
You see Napoleon at Waterloo. For
n time his countenance wears a be-
nign expression. and you can fairly
read his thoughts. He is going to lick
the English and then forgive them II
they won't do so any more. Then he
seems TO be puzzled. the same as
man who finds four aces in his hand