The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1907-12-14

aRailIssnakss On Toasp Vas
ihe Cowboys Order.
BUT He NET WITH HIS MATCH

Ths Promptnssa With Which the
Tough Waiter Served tho Dish Took
che TerroTs Nerve Away-Tho Rs.
past and tie Final Request.
Away back in 1915 man named
Turpin established a restaurant IN
Yuma, and among Turpin's original
employees was a waiter named Job
Straight who could shoot with great
precision, play draw poker with IN
varying success and pack eighteen
plates Of miscellaneous grub upon one
bare arm at one time. He could exc
cute ali the prevailing melodies either
on plano or guitar, and he possessed
The most tremendous baritone voice
ever heard IN Arizona. why, men some
timss went to Turpin's just to hear Joe
deliver gasronomie oEders. No per
feet description can be given Of that
voice, however, except to say that x
times It really did make things clatter.
Once a fresh young cowboy from
near ella Bend entered Turpin's for
Christmas dinner who took q startling
concoction as an appetizer and then
dropped thud-liko at table and rough
b shouted to Straight;
"say, thevs. Baldyi Bring me some
grubr'
Job was at flrat appalled,; but. recov-
ering his reserve limit Of equanimity.
ho brushed an Imaginary breadcrumb
from the frescoed tablecloth and
whisked d bin Of fare from the yarle-
gated castor and placed It before the
new young terror Of the Bend
'aTake It awayE'' cried tie latter in
tones that could give straighta ordi-
nary, everyday baritone castle and
checkmate It IN Eve moves. II don't
want to read your darnsd old tract.
don't care a darn who came into the
world to save sinners Bring me some
grub g-r-u-bl Grub! Grub Grub"
"What do you want?"
'Rattlesnakes on toastl And / want
you TO hump youraelfw
whats that71
'pve given my order, you baldheaded
old cigar store sign, and | want you to
get move on yourself, D. d. q. Rattle
snakes on toastl''
'RattIesnakes on toastl' cried Job to
the cook in accents that would have
paraIyzed Carl Formes had that old
basso profundo been living and heard
them.
'Rattlesnakes on toastI'' was tho re.
yerberating response Arom the cook
upon receiving the order.
There were dozen or more people IN
the restaurant, and their eyes were at
once turned on tie young person from
the Bend and the infurIated waiter
In the meantime the cook had taken
big catfish and cut it into four strips
and rolled these strips in batter, Sc
that they much resembled the Wand or
dered, and after placing them IN the
frying pan he stuck his head out Of The
kitchen and shouted to Job:
you want them rattlers rare or vel
donefs
The waiter repeated the interrogatory
In a cyclonlc way, and the terror re
piled in as violent tone and manner
as he could command, "Well done, with
plenty OF gravy and Chill Colorado"
And then Job thundered to the cook
"Well done, with plenty OF Chill Colo
Yado hot as , and moccasin gravy
on the side and brochettes OF sane
crane llvers and Gila monster ligltsw
There was an lnstantaneously dea(
silence in that restaurant, and all eye
were again cast upon the terror anC
the waiter. The former turned asher
pale and began to weaken perceptibly
while Job gazed at bis victim.
Maybe you don't think we can servl
all the market affords" muttered job
sMayhe you don't Ike moccasln gray.
Or brochettes a la mode Maybe yol
sin't hungryT
"sayi You've got me ] ain't hungry
50 help me. couldn't eat single har'
boiled egg. Countermand that durnel
order, old man, and I'll pay all ez
penses and set 'em up as long as any
body can drink. Beg pardon, gentle
men, all. Ny first attempt to be a tel
ror-pardon me, gentlemen. It's m
Iastln
And then he handed his revolver I
Job and added;
eTake that pistol, old man, as
present and promise me that the mex
time any burned fool comes II her
and calls for rattlesnakes on toaf
you'll shoot him dead"
But Straight was too raylng mad a
the way through to willingly emerg
from situation only tolerably tr
umphant. SO he took the weapon ju.
as the order was being placed on th
table and pointing II at the terro
exclaimed;
Now, then, my boy, dump yourse
into that chair and eat them snakes
bones, skin and all"
The young fellow did as he was con
nanded, but after finishing his repai
staggered the incorporating Job /
shouting:
II say, Baldy, bring me anoth'
. plate Of snakesP'-Denyer News.