Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1907-09-27
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MID Style-What makes you think
I am old-fashioned? Miss Uptodate
Why, you asked me to be yours for
ever.-Judge.
"Oh! Jack, what do you think?
Baby said 'Goo-goo' to-day" did he?
By Jove! wonder If he really meant
it"-Brooklyn Life.
Sabbath School Teacher-What does
the parable Of the Prodigal Son teach
us? Bobby Thickneck-No to be fat
ted calves, ma'am.-Puck.
She (singing)-Oh, for the wings of
the lark! He-These women are never
content. Now her motor doesn't salts
fly her.-Fllegende Blaetter.
"Williams has sent his wife to Eu-
rope for his health" "His healthT
"Yes; he said it was the only way ne
could get rid of his (s)cold!"
His Wife (writing)-Which is prop
er, "disillusioned" or "disillusionized"
Her Husband-Oh, just say married"
and let it go at that.-Chicago News.
She-No; can never be yours. He
In that case, farewell forever. She
chastity Now, don't go off mad
George. You can be mine.-Somerville
Journal.
Daughter-But he is so full Of abb
surd ideals. Mother-Never mind that,
dear. Your father was just the same
before l married him.-Town and
Country.
Pater-Well, my boy, so you have in
terviewed your girls father, eh? Did
you make the old codger toe the mark
Son-Yes, dad, l was the mark.-Bos-
ton Transcript.
Dat feller, 'Rastus Skinnah, done
bin talkin' a powahful bout he's IL
raisin chickens" "Sho he doan
mean 'raisin',' he means 'liftin'.' -
Philadelphia Press.
I'm what condition was the patri-
arch Job at the end of his life?" asked
a Sunday school teacher of quiet
boy. "Dead!" calmly replied the
youth.-Sydney Journal.
Mother-Jimmy, there were three
Jars of jelly in the cupboard, and now
there is only one. How is that? Jim
MY don't know, ma, unless l over
looked it.-Illustrated Bits.
Pete Coopah-How'd you aud your
wife celebrate your wooden weddin'
yestidy? Jim Johnson-Oh, she hit me
on de head wifi rollin' pin cause All
wouldn't split some kindlln's Puck.
Foreman Waterville Hose Co., No. l..
Hurry up an come on, 81! Wool
sey's barns a-burnin'. The Newest
yolunteer-Sorry, Heck, but 1 can't
Both m red shirts are in the waSh.'-
Puck.
Her Husband-If a man steals-no
matter what it is-he will live to re-
gret it. His Wife-During our court
ship you used to steal kisses from me.
Her Husband-Well, you heard what
said.-Tit-Bits.
i Hicks-I dropped around to see the
Fitz Kloses in their fat last night, but
l couldn't get in. Wicks-Not at home,
Ell? Hicks-Yes, they were all at
home; that was the trouble.-Catholic
Standard and Times.
. The Guest (afteI dinner)-Your
wife is such a beautiful woman it's
a wonder you're not jealous Of her.
The Host-Oh, l am! never invite
any man here that any sane women
would take fancy to-.
Miss Smiths there a letter for
me Postmistress Well, er-yes,
there was one from your mother in
Midtown, but I've mislaid 1t. But it's
all right, anyhow. She says they are
all quite well.-Comic Cuts.
This magazine article says that
bachelors should be taxed" remarked
Mrs. Crouch. That's the way!" ex-
claimed Mr.. Crouch, vigorously. "A
man can't enjoy anything these days
without paying for it."-Judge.
"How is 1t that strong man like
you cannot get employment" a lady
asked a tramp. The mendicant re-
Piled: "Ah, mum, yer see, people
wants reference from my last employ
er. an he's been dead about 20 years! !"
"There's one thing, I will say" re-
marked Mr.. Millions, land that is that
my daughter Arabella has fine dispo-
sition." Indeed" "Yes, sir. The way
she can listen for hours to her own
playing on the violin shows remark
able self-control. ."1Tit-Bits
"Mr. Wappleson," said Mrs. Old
castle, "has heart Of gold" "Dear
me-" replied her hostess, lis that so!