New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1907-04-21
SIKH POLICE, SHANGHAI.

York"
Every thoughtful citizen must welcome tsis
Illuminating answer to that ancient question
''Quid pro qUO?' or what's a qUid for any,
hOw?' Ancient authorities declared that there
was, somewhere and sometime. a tree OF wis
dom, 20 eat the fruit whereof was TO open ones
eyes 20 things unknown before. Who would
have supposed, though that this tree Of kncNI-
edge the humble tobacco plant. whose fruit
Is neither food drink. but a mental Tumi-
nant? The older version of the Adam and Eve
story plainly needs revision in the light of Pres
ident Wilson's discovery. It was not an apple
tree, but q Havana wrapper plant that Iured
tho luckless Eve. who doubtless was willing to
take any kind of a wrapper. about that time
And when we recall the usual effect of the first
quid man elbows, the reason for Adam and
Ewes flight from the Garden OF Eden becomes
clear The effect of chewing the Quid must have
been unusually severe upon Adam because hs
had never touched tobacco UHtH Affirming man
hood, nor had his ancestors used the weed No
wonder then. that he thouShe he saw an angel
with flaming sword. Even to-day tobacco
headaches make men see even stranger apart
tiODS IL III becomes mOdernS 10 decrv tia
use of tobacco. for through IL alone our ance,-
tors first got wiGc." went into politics and thu
clothing business, and finally in the course OF
tedious ages developed the Western Senator
and his high grade brain lubricant Virginia
plug
Had ali her descendants Eel Siously followed
Ewes example ia restricting their mouth diet
10 the nicCrinoUs leaves IF the wisdom tree
woman suffrage would long ago have become
universal But alas with the peTVerSiry chardc-
terIStiC of the Sex. Ewes daughters early gave
w chewing tobacco and took 10 chewing gum.
Whether this fatal step JGken in the belief
that The rubber tree was also vegetable en-
CyCiop;e6i.J end that he who rubbers NAV read
the wisdom thereof history sayeth cot IL may
have been that the truth revealed by chewing
the cud of DiCotlUoUS wisdom was too bitter for
the women: or perhaps they found thar truth
disclosed by chewing gum could be more easily
stretched. At all events tutJi frutti and pepsil-
dis
mouths, and StTaiS ht1W1y political sagacity and
a few other kinds began To disappear from the
ranks Of the sex. but the cause of the disappear
ance may easily be understood from President
Wilson's theory
The superior value cf the quid SAYS the
president. is due to the sI0vness of its disiate-
grafton and liquefaction. The Quid chcwer has
tine 10 chew and chew between sentences
Hence no is more Nkaly 20 think Sveat thoughts
Furthermore. when ensased In debate. the
quld cbeWcr has the obvious advantage of being
able 10 postpone answers 70 hard questions and
10 think up a joke or tart rejOinder under the
cover OF large and cumbersome mouthful Of
tohacCO.
The sum chewer has no such opportunity; gum
seems To make the jaws work at higher speed
reducing the length of Intervals between sen
teCCes and allowing an easy sop at any mo-
ment. Rapidly is thus made 90 so hand in
hand with vapidity. may Zoe observed in any
streetcar during shopping or matinee hours. II
is often impossible To- tell whether woman Is
simply chewing or expressing IN opinion, 81
slight is the difference between jaw and brain
activity.
Imagine the handicap this places upon women
who aspi~e 70 politics The Western politician
and other qud mauipulatorS as We'll owe their
success in large measure to skill IN delaying re-
plies % pertinent questions and requests. Back
Of the ifnpreSnaDIe buIWark Of Virginia plug they
q StateSmanIike silence and dilatOri-
ness which the gun, chewing woman could not
even initiate much less equal The long. dark
brown traces Of nicotine disCeTnible in much
modern legislation simply could not be rivalled
by any Iadylike rUminatiO0 induced by dentng
a piece of Favored elastic Until woman gives
NO her short-sighted prejudice against the qud.
her political aspirations mNst remain Idle
Dreams