The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1907-09-03
BILL AND
JOSIAH.

Any person with fair average o
dlscernment could. have told from thu
start what would happen To Josial
Sneech. 1t was useless to send 1
pale.faced highbrow like that to col
lege. He wouldn't do anything bu
study. Now Bill Wing was differ
ent; Bin would do anything but
study.
"Thunderation, sir!" angrily ex
claimed Bill, when professor once re
preached him for lack of familiarity
with the textbooks hunderation and
blazes, sir. fellow can't know every
thing! Besides, sir, Sneech-Josy
Sneech--comes from my town, and he
does my studying for mel Bill
gIared Indignantly at the professor
With averted eyes the professor re-
marked sagely: "Sneech? @, Sneech
1 Will never amount to anything"
Well" said Bill Wing. Il cant help
1t; why doesn't he get wise and play
| ball?"
Precisely.
But Josiah Sneech stood no more
chance of playing baseball than he did
OF being success In the game or
life. He had glass arm from birth.
He could not have hit balloon, If
1t was fastened In front Of him.
Bill Wing was the goods,
1t takes & sure.enough college ath-
lete to make a success in life. Bill
was the greatest pitcher the old uni
yersity had ever turned out. Courte-
GUS, affable, distinguished In his bear
ing, possessed Of muscles like iron,
and generalship such as Napoleon
and handful Of officers in the worlds
htstsry have acquired through sea
sons Of stress. Bill Wing developed
into the "headiest" pitcher that ever
made a batsman wildly smash the air
and bite his lips in sorrow.
Was Bin Wing the goods?
Certainly
Josiah Sneech travelled for a hard
ware firm. in halfhearted attempt
70 sell patent egg beaters to house
wives who shooed him of the prem
ises, the summer vacation before he
went back to college for his senior
year This was really the nearest ap
proach to anything useful that poor
Sneech accomplished in his college
career The fellow was perfectly fool.
lsh about books He used TO study
ill the midnight oil refused to burn.
Sneech took book with him to the
only ball game he witnessed during
the brilliant season prior to gralua,
lion. A foul tip ripped into the
bleechers, made straight for Sneech.
broke ! his finger. and dashed Jevon's
logic TO earth. oh, anybody could see
the finish Of Sneech
Hoodooed from the start. and i
man marked for the cold unconcern |
u world that was eagerly waiting |
for stalwart popular, wide-awake
fellow like Bill Wing.
Bill was graduated. Some of the |
more conservative professors did NOT
fully understand how the athletic com.
mittee fixed it.
Also poor Josiah Sneech was gradu-
ated.
Poor Sneechi What a struggle
With an unappreciative world was to
come to him!
Already he was catalogued as
allure by such persons as ever let
heir eyes rest upon his pallid, mourn
nj features, his painfully stopping
houlders, and his forlorn, hopeless
lspect. He looked like a ruin.
The post college career of BIZ
Wing began right away. 1t differed
10 whit in brilliance from his efful.
.ent college existence. Bin pitched
Winning ball for the Giants all sum-
ner. His salary was said to be the
ighest ever paid to Young
ter"
By some unexpected vagary of fato,
osiah Sneech landed a job shortly
fter graduation. He read law and
lorked as Office boy at three dollars
er week in dingy office where day
ght was a myth and got in only by
And Sneech did nothing but get dis
ked by the junior CLERKS on account
his disgusting habiL Of studious-
ess.
On tho l.amond, Bill Wing was
inning the plaudits Of the mil Z
tude.
Eleven years fed. Eleven years 7
D diamond and in dingy Office.
In a sumptuous library keen-eyed
ian was turning the pages OF his
ewspaper carelessly He brushed
lck the hair from his brow. The
almond on his finger caught a ray
light from the 10000 mirror across
e room and flashed gorgeously The
sntlenans eye fell upon glaring
as follows:
Sneech Wins in Brilliant Battle"
Eminent Young Corporation Counsel
Puts Legal Talent TO Rout."
Mini said the gentleman. Mini" =
e appeared in no wise displeased
Ising he threw out his chest and
ICED back and forth upon the thick =
ilvet carpet. Presently. he touched .
silver bell An obsequious serving
an appeared
James, said the gentleman. Il
sh you would order the barouchs 4
r 10. 30"
Yes. sir" said James.
Sinking into his $3.50 easy chair. .