Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-04-27

NAAS RANhO. AAC NSits NlldA uOL an dD-
solute denial-Meggendorfer Blatter.
Bacon-Is that popular song your
daughter is playing? Egbert-It was
before she began playing it-Yonkers
Statesman
She-Oh II must be fine to be a
poet! He-It ought to be morel 1t
ought TO be fine and Imprisonment
Springfield Union.
He-Yes; that's my wife crossing the
road We hadn't been married more
than year before we separated. She
What caused the delay Illustrated
Bits.
The Artist maintain, sir, that I
ought TO paint nature as l see II. The
Critic-That's all right Only hope
you'll never see It as you paint it'll
Pick up-- -
Freddie-What's the difference be-
tween being sick and nm Invalid? Cob
wigger--An invalid, my boy, is one who
makes those around him sick.-Har-
per's Bazaar
What did the Judge say when he
found out that the man you ran down
was the eighth your auto had struckT'
HE wanted to buy the machine
Denver Post.
Lawyer-YOur honor, | want an in-
terpreter for my client Judge-what
language does he speak? Lawyer
He's railroad brakeman.-St. Louis
'PostDlSpatch.
Knicker-What is the difference be-
tween a fiat and an apartment Book
| era fiat has no elevator, while an
apartment has one that doesn't run
New York Sun.
"Cholly wants to enter his fathers
banking house" Doing whatF" "Oh,
! don't know. suppose making him
self generally useless. Louisville
! Courler-Journal.
/ do you read the fashion maya
/ zinesY' asked the visitor Yes" an-
swered Miss Cayenne. They often
/ give such valuable hints on what not
/ TO wear" Washington Star.
Professor Hammers-Why do you
| suppose the dog howls so when l play
the piano, Mr.. Knox2 Mr.. Knox--A
dog can not be taught to conceal his
feelings. Chicago Chronicle.
Lawyer-What Is your full name?
Witness X. X Karl Benson. Law
yer--What do all the KS stand for2
Witness -Nothing--the minister who
| chrlstened me stuttered.-B Boston Tran
script
She (sentimentally) What a glori-
GUS view from this mountain top! How
ones ideas seem 10 expand. He-Yes.
The innkeeper charged n dollar for
these two sandwiches.~New Orleans
! Picayune
Ethe-So you want to break the en-
gagement2 Well that Is easy enough
just send back the ring Gladys--
easy enough Why, / can't for the life
Of me remember which of these rings
Is his. - Brooklyn Eagle.
Il think Jones is one OF the worst
bores that ever lived" why sof" He
broke right In and began talking about
/ himself while | was telling about a
/ thrilling experience | once had out
! West indianapolis Star.
| The Flancec-Y Yes, Percy placed It on
/ my finger last night Isn't It beauty?
! Her Dearest Friend Yes, but In about
n fortnight you'll find 1t will make
/ funny black mark on your finger II
/ dld on mine Minneapolis Tribune.
amanda. you are looking pale You
must not be too ambitious. Tell me the
truth. now; haven't you been burning
the midnight oll2' why. yes, Auntie
But--but not much we turned the
lamp down very low, indeed. Detroit
News
Wife-But, my dear, you've forgot
ten again that to-day is my birthday
Husbs md Listen, dearie, know | for
got II, but there isn't a thing about
you TO remind me that you are day
older than you were year ago.--Le
Journal pour Tous
Merchandise you want a job as Of
fee boy eh1 Any previous experienced
Boy-No, SIR / don't know how to do
anything In an Office Merchant
| guess you won't do Boy don't
even know how to whistle. Merchant
Hang up your hat-Philadelphia
Press.
Here's wireless message" an
nouncod the business manager ''from a
man who desires TO take our entire
Help Wanted department for to-day's
issue" Where is her inquired the
managing editor. "On a capsized boat
about four miles out In the Atlantic
Ocean. '--Pittsburg Post
"Gracious" exclaimed the pretty
girl, as she returned to the parlor
Papa says he has been sitting in one
position so long waiting to see when
you left that his foot has gone to
sleep" ''Thank goodness" breathed
the late-staying sutton Let US hope