davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1907-06-22
A HOMESlCK FELLOW.

ara cettin' mighty tired o the life here In
the town,
With its rush as eff the people meant to turn
it upside down
/ might issen til! I'm siXty-an not hear q
cowbal ring:
l might watch fer ten year longer an not
see raael Spring:
Fer the Apriles amt like Aprle with no
broWzin herds in sight.
An no hum o bees in clover, an no apple
blossoms white.
All the place is full o strangers with their
cha.terin $ that CRATE
Ear ed wire langwige. some describe 1t, an
it's most appropriate,
seems I'd give a little fortune eff l heard
some person spca:
IN the pain. Old fashioned lingo o the folks
at Billings Creek.
In the narrer slips O yards an in the crooks
on winder silis,
Ihar's no flowers as is flowers hollyhawks
an daflerdils;
Jest sufficient scent an color-tinny hints
o rose an green
Fer to wake a dream o meadows, woods,
an sunny wa; between,
With the catords sendin' downward from
the orrherd deers Il stream
o. sich mu,i. as the saints make whar the
li-hts o heaven gieam!
Well, most felix's mas asperatlonS-some look
forward to the day
When they'll all have wealth er somethin'
by the time that they air gay;
AS fer ne, it's my ambition for the next few
months TO seek
Cash enough to buy a ticket back to bliss
an Billings Greek.
Will I. Hale, in New York Times.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1907-06-22
HUMOROUS.

Vigg-N-hat is the best thing to
strengthen the memory? Wagg-Lend-
ing money.
This precipice," explained the
guide, lis know as Lovers Leap"
Same Old bluff, eh?" remarked the
blase tourist.
Muggins-Y wife has remarkably
good taste. Buggins-Thats what
I've been telling her ever since she
married me.
Blobbs-Eyolution must work both
ways. Slobbs-Row do you make that
out? Blobbs-Didn't you ever see a
man make a monkey of himself?
Old Man-Little boy, why don't you
get up and let that young lady have
your seat? Little Boy-I was just
waitin' to see if you was any kind of
ladies' man.
Tommy-Pop, what is a musicale?
Tommy's Pop-A musicale, my son, is
species of social torture where every
one wonders if anybody is really hav-
ing good time.
Its knowing what not to do that
counts" said the pedantic professor.
Eyes," replied the editor, Its the
stuff that goes into the waste basket
that makes paper readable"
Passenger-This train is nearly one
hour behind time, is it not? Guard
Yes. But that's all right. Well get
in in the usual time. Passenger
What time is that? Guard-Two hours
late.
Pa-Ostend, in the front of this die
tionary you will find the flags OF all
nations" 1t is complete. Ostend-
Complete nuthin'! Why, they amt
eyen got the baseball pennant among
d I'm.
Mrs. Bjones-Mrs. Grotrox says she
doesn't know where her next meal is
coming from. Mrs. Bsmith-Why, l
thought they were so wealthy. Mrs.
BJones-They are, but she can't keep
e. cook.
Tall Clown-Terrible shipwreck in
the side-show. Short Clown (mysti-
ieD-Shipwreck? Tall Clown-Yes;
It rained on the "Tatooed Man," and
all the ships on his arms and breast
went to pieces.
I'm sorry, but you'll have to CO."
said the publisher to his slow clerk;
you're a back number" III that's
&C. replied the clerk, bright for once,
Il should be worth more. Back num-
Gritty George-Yes, mum; before
yer give me dis suit had to keep my
clothes together wild pins. Twas
pretty tough. The Lady-Oh, l don't
know. use very many pins myself.
Gritty George-Yes. mum; but desc
were couplin' pins.
The way to a mans heart is
through his stomach" she quoted.
We'll, then, it's about an even thing.
he replied, for the way to wcman's
heart is through her eyes. In neither
case apparently does the path lie
through the intellect"
II see Dorkins has got all OF his
seven daughters married off, Yes;
but he took advantage CT his official
position to effect it." How was that?'
why, he is chairman OF the board or
public works, and he advertised for
proposals.
Doesn't everybody admire her
beautiful hair?" We'll, everybody
seems to notice it." 1T makes an i'm
preston. them" "Of one kind or an
other. it does. Her lover calls her
ldy-Locks, and her brother calls
hor .Corro1T Tom"
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1907-06-22

IN 70 .wirl for a space amisS
..sisr or other goes wrong;
,.itv in a sweetheart's kiss
H..ord in q songs; , f..
"a \. tasteless, the wine is stale,
..,mosphere's full Of rue,
s.vs heavenly side to the tale
s sS q tho friends that are true!
IA IA vide and the world is fair,
.,ry its mazes through.
nothing so sweet encountered
sah Of the friends tina. are true.
"a NJ events proceeds too fast
.a"rsee that's none too strong,
ssh of the wheels and maze OF
~ a discord in the song;
H.. ~ vrofit for which men strive
es,si its share to you
4 up and thank the Lord you're
"a some friends that are true.
.o,,d IS vide and the world is dear,
I've to worry it through,
- nothing SO sweet encountered
s.Hh of the friends that are true.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1907-06-22
Such Undignified Cows.

John Koch, a farmer at Wescoeville,
has cows of acrobatic tendencies. Last
night they pushed open the barn door
and climbed to the hayloft. There one
fell through the floor into the feed
trough and the other fell with her
legs between the boards. The latter
hung suspended until morning, when
she was removed by means of a rope
and tackle.-Philadelphia Record.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1907-06-22
Separated From His Mind.

Rufus Choate once tried to get a
Boston witness to give his idea of alb
sent-mindedness. WELL" said the
witness, who was typical New Eng
land Yankee, Il should say that a
man who thought he'd left his watch
to hum, and took it outen his pocket
to see if he'd time to go hum and get
it, was a leetle absent-minded."-
House Beautiful.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1907-06-22
Tried to Be Exact.

Georgia obituary writer, striving
to be exact, says:
1T may have been O'Clock when
he crossed the river, but we were not
certain about it, as the clock had
been losing time, and the only watch
in the house had a broken u,aiu-
sprins."-Atlanta Constitution.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1907-06-22
His Method.

"Have you any evidence against the
prisoner"
None" answered the detective.
"Then why did you arrest him.
Its a greas ;Gea OF my own. When
the real criminal sees an innocent
man in trouble, maybe he'll come for
ward and confess. Washington Star.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1907-06-22
The Grecian Hing
and the
Physician DOuban.

~
Mickey the Greek, who was
Persia, once bumped into it
I. turned down that DR.. Dou-
psuben-I guess it was Reuben,
he Job he put up on himself
a rim SO much good when he
leprosy.
crek king had leprosy SO bad
~ wouldn't have him at the
~. He doctored at Carlsbad
nuwhere, and had all kinds OF
and they all gave him up. The
M push and everybody else
yhiz at him; but they couldn't
hin. and they all quit him cold
liza their freight for home. Then
Gched On DR.. Dugan-no, Dou-
q to ease his mind and make
nsy.
vas all right for a doctor;
lied medicine in Greek, Per-
rkish, Choctaw, Arabian, Por-
Latin, Syriac, Hebrew, and
Irish, and, he had a new sys-
y!
vhen he floated in, the grand
u: Reuben, Reuben. I've been
="
anne Of. What's the troub?"
lays
they sicked him on to his
poblets, and he said he could
hWosy easy. He chased q GRO
hllet with a hollow handle out
RiD, and he filed the hollow
iiine. Then he said to the
Take this and 60 play GRO
Nlen you get a heat on, quit
% bath. It will do you good.
~ down then and go to bed.
III you'll be O. K"
oyek kinglets played the tip,
next day there was no lep-
NAT county. He had a skin
l5ear-old. and his toes be-
row out again, and he felt
be wanted to do enough for
30 he made him a favorite-
n four thousand plunks every
% seat at his own table, and
p Z Ane silk robe every night
pd him put 1t on; and patted
~ back before the whole push,
b was the hottest doctor
ss nice for Dugan. But there
Mloss slob of a grand vizier
Nm, and every time he saw
+ his four thousand dibs from
! teller it nearly made him
H. GETS the king on the quiet,
- he's wasting his money
~
- Jon giving us?" the king
IN Giving you this" the G.
zAat skate is a bad oyster.
- Ireland and came here
N NOR to pick up a few
g here to get YOU"
g the matter with you? l
49, full Of prunes," the king
- wanted to do me, why
ave me with the leprosy
4! l had plenty of it;
had me fixed; I'd have
y July. II he wanted 10
wouldn't have cured me up,
y break out again." the
nd THAT cure doesn't
I NOW. You're down on
you're trying to get him
married. woman did the
u king.
0af!' the G. v. asked.
was . travelling man
not to watch his wife's
parrot told him about
eaces while he was gone
her down. The dame
- ne servants had sprung
= tumbled it was the
night when the drum
u town, she had the
2 co6ee-mill under the
md the chambermaid
Nth water and the cook
@ him with a mirror
! they kept that cir
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1907-06-22

When family has a black sheeI
tie Fact is generally kept dark.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-02-25
SAY MAN ROBBED
CHURCH POOR BOX
Recover Money Which They Assert
Was Taken from Box and
Hold Suspect for Ex-
animation

Charged with robbing the boxes
placed at the entrance of the Cathedral
of st. Vibiana on South Main street to
receive money for the poor, H. Morel.
So years Of age, was arrested by De-
tectives Beaumont, Williamson and
Gardner yesterday, and $37.72 said to
have been taken from the boxes re-
covered
The capture was the climax of a
shrewd piece Of detective work. For
some time the pastors of different
churches in the city have reported that
small sums of money were being stolen
from the poor boxes. The officers de-
cided the box In the st. Vibiana ca
thedral would be robbed in time and
yesterday they visited that place and
posted themselves near the boxes.
According to the police Morel entered
the church soon after they appeared
and stood near one of the boxes. The
officers watched him and said he soon
appeared to be tampering with the lock.
He was then placed under arrest and
taken to the police station.
When questioned Morel at first said
he was an employe of the Santa Fe
railroad and that he was on a vaca-
tion. Later he said he had passed sew
eral years in Cuba and only arrived
in Los Angeles last week.
Morel was booked on suspicion and
will be held until the officers are able
to look up his record.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-02-25

was dragged forth there to melan-
choly failure.
On the contrary, its rejuvenation has
afforded Los Angeles the one great
laughter hit at this theater in months
So we'll is it done, so absolutely true
to nature are the various types drawn,
and so full of abandon and atmosphere
is the play presented, that it is won-
derfully enlivening and wholly a de-
light
In the way of serious discussion
of the farce itself nothing need be said.
1t is satire on the temperance cause
and, while rather brutal at times, still
1T has so much truth underlying it's
fun that 1T stings even as it amuses.
This, perhaps, is what gives it strength
to outlive so many of it's moribund con-
temporaries from the same gifted pen.
AS stated. 1t is series of character
studies, and given these adequately
done, the sl<it will carry of its own
weight The trouble In every past re-
vival that the writer remembers has
been that these characters have not
been well done. Hoyt wrote each about
player of his day whom he knew well,
and to find substitutes for these past
and gone actors is no easy matter.
How the Burbankers ever did 1t, Is
beyond ken. but they have brought
these old folk to life, in every deed.
Every character In the list is so Won
derfully revamped that the comedy
seems to have been the product of but
yesterday. and the players fit their
parts as does the proverbial glove. Not
In long time has more genuine work
been seen than that shown us by Henry
Stockbridge. John w. Burton, Arthur
Rutledge, Willis Marks Robert Morris
Harry Mestayer, Gerald Harcourt. H.
7, CHM, Robert Homans. II. s. Duff
field 9nd several more that might be
named did space permit In fact, with
the entire ST not flaw can be found,
and cne delights In each player every
time he appears. This is high praise,
but It is earnestly and gladly given,
with sincerity and Justice. And to the
men let be added the names of Carroll
Marshall Maude Gilbert, Elsie Esmond
and Fay BANTER, with a speciality. and
only duty compels many another omis-
sion.
All around it has been long since the
writer has seen more laughable af-
fair on any stage, or a more delightful
series of character depictions.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-02-25
HOW 1T FEELS TO BE STUNG
Young Stood Attack of Ten Bees
to Cure the Rheuma-
tisnn
Special to The Herald.

Special to The Herald.
HARRISBURG, Pa, Feb. 24.-The
day after the night before when Mr.
Redsecker 1. Young indulged in copious
bee stings finds the victim of the
vicious Cyprian species with double
sized arm. In this respect Mr.. Young S
case differs from that of the man who
INDUCED in the cup that biteth like an
adder. His head is double it's usual
size, in feeling, at least, the day after
the night before.
Mr.. Young has been indulging in bee
stings as a cure for rheumatism for
some time, so his appearance before the
State Beekeepers' association was
merely for exhibition purposes. The af-
fair was conducted by State Economic
Zoologist H. A. Surface. Mr.. Young is
the proprietor of some of the largest
farms in this section. He was found
at Eagle farm, west of Middletown. He
was nursing his left arm, which had
swollen to twice it's natural size from
his shoulder to the ends of his fingers.
"Well, how is the rheumatism today,
Mr.. Young?"
"Oh, it is much better; but cannot
Los Angeles herald., 1907-02-25
HOYT COMEDY IS
BIG BURBANK HIT
"A TEMPERANCE TOWN" GOOD
FOR MANY LAUGHS
Best Farce Work the Company Has
Done In Many Day-charaeter
Depietions Especially Fine.
Melodrama at Grand

Once in a long time a stock company
In Los Angeles gives performance
so superlatively good that everyone who
sees 1t not only wonders how 1t Is pos
sible, considering all the circumstances,
but marvels that such excellence
should go on record here as merely
part of the regular weeks round of
| pleasure offered. Not that the usual
stock productions are not fine; ordi-
narily they are far above the average
| travelling organizations showing But
now and again something done in this
| way so stands out even against the
background of general excellence that
| 1t Is positively startling.
"A Temperance Town" at the Bur-
bank this week is one of these latter
events. This Hoyt farce, written years
ago, Is generally supposed to be dead
and moldering in the grave with its
one is clever enough to see it's inherent
work and merits and to revive 1t, and
| then comes treat-provided, of course
! that the farce is well portrayed. Hoyt
wrote largely in character types his
plots are flimsy and his skits are hung
together much for speciality purposes.
This play, however, is one of his least
farcical and episodical; it has q deal
of legitimate satire. a modicum of pa
thos and so much real comedy that it
stands the test of time. It's revival
by the BurbanSers therefore was not
attended by the funereal prospects that
! hedged about another which recently
Los Angeles herald., 1907-02-25
ROBBERS FRIGHTENED
BY PATROLMAN'S SHOT

Charles Sampson, a negro living at
211S Enterprise street, was chased by
three men near his home last night and
had Patrolman Hinclkey not appeared
on the scene it is probable Sampson
would have been the victim Of mur-
derous assault.
Hickey fired two shots into the air
from his revolver and this so fright
ened the three men that they turned
and ran in an opposite direction. One
Of the men was seen to throw some
thing away while he was running When
this article was picked up it was found
to be a heavy stone. The purpose of
the three men was evidently robbery.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-02-25

tell how much good this last dose Is
going to do me, as it will take several
days before the swelling goes down.
You see, this swollen arm comes from
the bee stings, and it is not the re-
suit of rheumatism. But I've been
stung BEFORE"
"How does it feel to be stung by
bees?"
1T feels as if some one was jabbing
needles into the flesh, or like having q.
current of electricity run through your
body"
did it hurt?"
Certainly it hurt. I have had a
piece of white hot iron against my body
and it hurt pretty nearly as bad as
that
do you think the stings will cure
you, Mr.. Young?"
Surely 1 do. 1 believe that by the
opening of spring I will be entirely
cured of the disease
The bees that stung Mr.. Young's arm
numbered ten, and were of the savage
Cyprian species, famous as workers
and powerful stingers. AS usual, the
bees died after administering the sting.
This application was the fourth ex-
perience of the kind which Mr. Young
has undergone. He bore the pain when
the bees were singing him not only
without f1inching, but with smile, a
sort of grim one. In December, 1905,
Mr.. Young was driving down Union
street, Middletown, with spry horse,
when it became frightened and ran
away. Mr.. Young was thrown out and
was badly hurt on the right shoulder.
For many weeks he was laid up on
account of the injury, and when this
was cured rheumatism set in.
The disease has clung to him since
that time, and number of physicians
failed to do him any good. One day
he picked up newspaper in which he
read that the bee sting was being tried
for rheumatism near PHILADELPHIA
Having tried everything else, he took
this method as last resort, and made
arrangements with the state zoologist
to get stung.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-02-25
THIEVES ROB WOMEN
OF VALUABLE, JEWELS

Jewelry valued at $3.50 was stolen
from the home of Miss Stella and Maud
Van Wig, 600 West Fourteenth street,
by burglars between O'Clock and IL
o'clock last night.
The two girls had left the house to
visit friends. When they returned they
found the place had been ransacked.
The bathroom window was open and a
ladder had been placed beneath 1t. The
rear door was found to be unlocked
and 1t is thought the burglars had left
the house through this door
None of the neighbors saw any light
in the house while the girls were abb
sent
Los Angeles herald., 1907-02-25
San Carlo Opera SEASON

Many inquiries have been made con-
cerning the coming of the Can Carlo
Opera company, where the engagement
is to be held, where seats may be Sc
cured and how to get to the Angelus
Palm garden.
The San Carlo Opera company en-
gagement opens Tuesday night, March
5, with La Gioconda." The sale of
seats opens this morning at o'clock
at the Birkel music store, 345 South
Spring street, for the entire season.
Mail orders will be accepted and filled
according to the hour of their receipt.
Telephone orders will be accepted when
the ticket statesmen are not busy at the
ticket window or will be taken over the
phone and filled after 6 o'clock on the
day on which they are received. All
checks and drafts and money orders
should be made payable to l.. E. Behy-
mer. Descriptive booklets of the COM
pany, it's singers and repertoire will be
mailed upon application. The program
will be changed nightly and the series
will include several novelties besides
the greatest compositions by the master
writers of grand opera.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-02-25

here before and is we'll known and very
popular.
The three characters whose work Is
best are Lloyd Sabine as Mason, Jesse
Hale as the Indian and Juan Villasana
as the Mexican. The latter's makeup
fits the part, while the other two have
thorough conceptions of their roles.
Miss Alice Lindley plays Little Mag
gle and makes her a winsome lass whom
everyone in the camp loves. One does
not blame the Cripple Creek contingent
for making her favorite. Virginia
Clay is the Dynamite Ann" and Bertha
Bell is the schoolmarm
Los Angeles herald., 1907-02-25
YOUNG WOMAN
DRINKS POISON
Refuses at First to Give Her Name or
Address, but Finally Takes the
Police Matron Into Her
Confidence
JESSE HALE

Mrs. Nora Brainer, 21 years of age,
mother of two children and wife of a
railroad man, tried to commit suicide
by drinking a quantity of carbolic acid
in front of a restaurant at 715 Central
avenue yesterday afternoon. After
drinking the poison the woman walked
into the restaurant and ordered meal
which she/ was eating when she sud-
denly collapsed and fell to the floor.
Physicians were called and the wo-
man was sent to the receiving hospital.
She was unconscious when laid on the
operating table, but when she recov-
cred refused to give any information
In regard to her name or place of res
idence.
81 was married when 1 was little
more than Is years of age" she said.
IT have had trouble with my husband
and wished to die. My parents live
in the east and I wanted to go and
visit them, but my husband refused to
allow me to do so. 1 have thought
frequently I wanted to die and tried
to do so today. When / leave here
will make another effort and next
time I will be successful.
"I will not tell you my name or
where I live, as that is none of your
business. You cannot make me tell,
and 1 will not do So"
Inc woman was given eHhetlcS dhu
partially recovered from the effect of
the poison. She was placed in charge
of the matron and kept at the station
during the night.
Late last night the woman admitted
to the matron her name was Nora
Brainer and that she had two small
children.
Mrs. Brainer is an exceptionally
pretty woman with dark hair and
black eyes. During the early part of
the night she cried frequently and
muttered that she regretted having
failed in her purpose.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-02-25
CAT CRIPPLE CREEK"
RETURNS TO DELIGHT
GRAND'S AUDIENCES

Playwright Hal Reid has been news
paper reporter lawyer. actor and
traveller, and in his present successful
field he has not produced better melo-
drama than "At Cripple Creek" Yes
terday's audiences at the Grand howled
themselves hoarse at times. for the play
appeals to every emotion and instinct,
as its author intended. From the rise
of the curtain displaying a typical
Colorado mining camp saloon. to the
end OF the unevenly matched fight be-
tween two bad men and one good one
Los Angeles herald., 1907-02-25
MESSAGE FROM HONDURAS
BY Associated Press.

BY AssOclateu Fress.
CITY OF MEXICO, Feb. 24,-Dr. b.
Estuphinan, minister to Mexico from
Salvador and Honduras, tonight re-
ceiyed the following vague message
from Honduras officials;
"Nicaraguan forces have invaded
Honduras. Fierce battle ensued."
When the battle was fought, where
the. encounter took place and what was
the ultimate result of the reported
struggle is left to conjecture.
This is the first word DIR. Estuphinan
has received from Honduras for sew
eral days. although he has sent several
cablegrams of inquiry Details of the
battle are hourly expected.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-02-25
FLORENCE STONE BACK
IN SARDOU ROLE, WITH
HIS GREAT "LA TOSCA"

Florence Stone and the Dick Ferris
Stock company will again get back to
their own tonight when Sardou's La
Tosca" will bel presented with Miss
Robson as Baron Scarpia. Miss Stone
is the heir of Fanny Davenport to all
the Sardou glories, and she has also
inherited the Davenport script, cos
tunes and productions. This will be
one of them; that dramatic treat is
certain may well be assured.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-02-25
ATTORNEY ARRESTED
ON SERIOUS CHARGE

Ruth Ellis. 1S years of age, q San
Pedro girl. and a man giving the name
of John ID. Pitts and claiming to be
the owner of the Southern California
Review and an attorney Of San Ber-
nardino We're arrested last last night
in room in the Reveria lodging house
at 1928 Second street.
Pitts and the girl had engaged sepa-
rate rooms, but were in the same room
when found, Pitts was booked on sus-
picion and the girl was sent to the de-
tention home.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-02-25
ORPHEUM'S USUAL GOOD
LIST OF VAUDEVILLE
ATTRACTIONS ASSURED

The Orpheum's bill changes tonight,
for the coming week are the Lasky-
Rolfe quintette, Nellie Beaumont, the
eight Bedouin Arabs and Eleanor
Falk. The usual holdovers include the
best of last weeks stunts, among them
Patrice and Little Hip.