Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-07-28
ANSWERS TO
CORRESPONDENTS

lin this column will he answered all questions OF
Q proper nature submitted to The Star. lnqurers
should write side only aud address their let
tiers Uncle Jasper" Star Office In case OF din
cult conundrums answers may he delayed FOR a
week or two. Consequently 1t may be advisable
Tor all eu.stioners TO watch this column carefully
ANXIOUS. - How long before Waiter
Weliman will start on his aerial dash for
the pole? A.-That depends. Mr.. Well
man has found such a ready sale for his
magazine articles that he has begun n new
series entitled Sparks From Spit zbergen.
or Hot Air VS. Gas" So you see there's
no telling when the balloon will go up.
\ large hungry bull dog named Pete
With exceedingly bow-legged feet
Cried. oh. see who Is here,
lis diplomat dear.
With legs just too deucedly sweet"
B. Y. HIS the President spending a
pleasant. quiet vacation at oyster Bay this
year? A.-Oh. yes. the President Is having
a fine time. 1t is currently reported how
ever. that one William Loeb will need a
vacation by the time the autumn leaves
begin to fall.
MARIA.-Uncle Jasper. why Is It that so
many more people are going to the noun
tains and to the country this year than
ever before? Hardly anybody I know Is
going to the seashore. Ais a simple
thing. The leading physicians are now pre-
scribng whisky for poison ivy and poison
oak well as for snake bite.
Fingers in ears. the candidate sits
Fearfully in his room
He's so afraid that soon he'll hear
That noisy Cannon boom.
NJ X L-Uncle Jasper has that pro-
fessor who SAYS we think with our fingers
and SUCH tat
A.-Oh. yes. He noticed that a man who
lost three fingers from frost bite never
growled about the heat.
BILLS 1t true. Uncle Jasper, that every
square inch of the human skin contains
$500 pores2 Ave never knew the exact
servative. Bill. mighty conservative. Ours
are all working.
Said a professor from out OF the west:
'Who but could have possibly guessed
Kids shouldn't wear clothes.
Or, at most goodness knows,
Nothing more than a short fancy vest"
MAURICE.-why is 1t that statisticians
are predicting enormous increase In the
soda water business this year? A-Snch
simplicity. Georgia has gone prohibition.
N. p LIS golf as popular game as 1t
used to be? Ayes. that can be said this
summer. The Scotch whisky habit has re-
by DR.. Harvey Wiley
PRUNELLA.-Uncle Jasper, would-you
call President Roosevelt a Jack-of- all
trades? A-Why not? He not only pitches
hay like an expert. but he cuts ice-lots OF
it-at the proper time Ask Wadsworth ct
al.
IT'S very easy to explain
The simple reason why
The population OF Canada Is jumping.
Every time read the papers
We note with vain regret
That another risky bank cashier Is hump
ing.
GEORGE-Uncle Jasper, what Is the dif-
ference between a republican caucus and
democratic caucus7 "A republican eau
Gus resembles sweet. harmonious note.
preceded by much profanity and cracking
of whips. while a democratic caucus con-
sists of a loud. abrupt explosion, followed
by considerable debris. These are not die
tionary definitions. but they are waterproof.
NOTE-Another day like yesterday and
we will forgive Prof. Willis Moore every
thing We used only one collar, and didn't
know what to do with our Florida sponge
and extra handkerchiefs. Thanks. prof.
UNCLE JASPER.