The Washington times., 1907-04-28
"MyIord" and Colonel. :"

dation that ,.-aong the peers, the
pillars of the British nation, who
have always been accepted as the
simon pure genuine article, should
be those who, in plain English, may
deserve 20 be called fakes. In fact,
a special departmental committee
has issued a report saying that
there is no doubt that 4 number of
persons have assumed the title of
baronet, either wrongfulIy or upon
the most, doubtful basis. These
cases approximate . OF per cent of
the entire baronagc The commit
tee thereupon represents that par
Lament shall create tribunal to
prevent the unlawful use Of any
title
This dislike of the unwarrantcd
assumption OF handles to names and
patents of nobility is easy for Amer
leans to appreciate. Although we
have none of the latter i'm this part
of the world, we still have the for
mer, and there is no question that if
Il tribunal were appointed by Con-
gress to examine and sift out the
bogus from the true a great many
gentlemen would be stripped of
their chief adornmcnt.
Think of the wreckage that would
occur among the kentucky
'colonels;" the terrific wedding out
among the Massachusetts "honora-
blcs." and the great slaughter
among the Maryland and Virginia
Judges" And the professors" how
their ranks would diminish! No more
would the gentlemanly parcr of
corns, the Isan who blacks your
boots or the occult astroIoger he
permitted to revel in this glorious
prefix. Even among the doctors" in
many States there would be terrible
carnage.
If there is any country on the face
of the earth in which titles are as
sumed by any cheap John who
cares to tack them before or after
his name, it is the lard of the free
and of democracy. Therefore. we
suggest the British tribunal idea 10
the careful consideration of Legis-
Iatures and the National Congress
A man in Iowa is under arrest be-
cause he shot at a charivari party that
had gathered around his house. and hit
twenty three of them. Now. ~ they
hnd him guilty # will be apparent that
those folks out West really are long
way from civilized.
Cheer up; John ID. has been so far
convinced that he can't get il all before
he dies that ne is reporting deciding
some of il 20 his heirs in order 20 avoid
a contest over his will.
AT the same time. it's just like one
OF these Standard OH folks TO divide
it mp by an ante-mortem arrangement.
so as 60 prevent the lawyers securing
good. equitable division of the plumber
after the death of the principal.
Former Congressman Hermann Will
certainly be willing to accept. along
with congratulations. the comment that
It took very long trial to bring the
verdict that he was not guilty.
Now. who in the world would sus-
pect that such a crusty old chap as
Uncle Joe Cannon could act as guide
philosopher. friend, and general man
ager 10 Cupid
Wen, those gentlemen who consented
to serve as judges in an oratoricaI con-
test between the freshmen and the
sophomores really needed to be- tied
didn't Jhey2
II is reported in the headlines that the
model husband lives in Chicago. Poor
man. he is likely To find difficulty dis
covering grounds Tor divorce when he
decides TO join the Chicago procession
l. There is a convincing aggregation of
evidence that this difference among the
theatrical folks is noe mere acting.
The LARK
There is a legend somewhere told
OF how the sllylarll came of old
TO the diving Saviour'S cross,
And circlinG round that form OF pain.
Poured forth a wild, lamenting strain
AS n for human loss.