davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-02-15
A Progressive Aoa.

Pierre de Campo, who was calcimin-
Ing the Brady Kitchen. was so excess
lively slow that his discouraged en-
ployers began to fear that the deliber-
ate Frenchman meant to end his days
under their roof.
do you think" asked Mrs. Brady
desperately. that you'll be done by 5
o'clock, 80 we can cook dinnerY'
MADAME" replied Pierre, pausing
to g%esticulate with his brush. maybe
you have hear SOM peop' say dat dis
ees de age Of progress. Oui, madame,
eet ees de age Of too moch progress.
Evairew'ere hon dose states of Amer
lea dere ees too moch 'urry, Jury,
'urry. Evairew'ere eet ees Make
'aste. make 'astev Dere ees no rip
pose-no taime for do noting good.
Evairew'ere I'M come wit ms pail,
ma brush, M scaffold. eet ees not
Pierre, how good you can do dose
vorkY but Pierre. how queek you ees
got t'rough| Parbleu! Biffore a man
ees get II leg cen hees hovalrhall
som'bod' ees hask heem. Say, meester.
how soon you go yY"-Youth's Com
panion.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-02-15
When Bunny
Was Bumped.
copu toht, 1905. By E. c. Parce,is.
By LESLIE TRaIN.

Bunny Trayers was not a bad fellow.
On the contrary, everybody liked him.
and everybody said it was too bad that
he had money and had spent six
| months In London to learn the ways of
an ass. One day when the subject Of
the up to date girl was on the carpet
Bunny listened for awhile with a bored
air and then observed:
Its all theory. She cawn't be found,
We knaw. They are the same old Ian
gushing lot. just a lot of gurls, with
their giggle and twaddle and waiting
for a proposal. AS may have remark
ed before, they bore me-bore me
5weadfully. Weally, 1 think l shall
have to cut the whole lot of them"
Among those who regarded Bunny as
an asinine good fellow was Burt Gal
town brokerage firm. He had d wife
and Il home on the north shore of Long
Island, and his sister Nettie lived With
them. AS he listened to Bunny's obser-
vations Il smile lowered around his
mouth, and that night when he got
home he sad to the sister:
Say. Net, we've got a Teller in the
Clipper club that needs humping, and
he needs it bad. l am going to invite
him down to stay for a week"
What for?' was asked.
so that you can bump him. He
doesn't believe there's an up to date
girl in America
Bunny baked a little when invited
down to the island home. he was Mt
last prevailed upon, however, and one
Monday afternoon he was safely land
ed at Ravensrest. Half an hour later
Miss Nettie was dressed for a spin in
her brothers auto and Informed the
visitor that a twenty mile ride was on
the cards. If 1t would bore him, Why
"Not in the least, me deah CURL. |
rawther fawncy the thing, doncher
knaw, or think l should If there was
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-02-15
BEEcHER's ONLY POEM.
The Verses Were Always Kept Sacred
by Mrs. Beecher.

3 ~ "Io oSCChSTs
1t was related by Mrs. Henry Ward
Beecher that during their ccurtship Mn,
Beecher once dropped into poetry''
and wrote a few lines Of verse teeming
with affection for his sweetheart. But
the verses were always kept sacred by
Mrs. Beech"r. and nothing could win
them from her. One day Mr.. and Mrs.
Beecher We're in the office of Robert
Bonner, the publisher.
"Why don't you write a poem, Beech
err" said M. Bonner.
HE did once" said Mrs. Beecher.
"Recite IL for me. won't YOU. Mrs.
Beecher?"
But the eyes of the great preacher
were riveted On his wife, and she knew
that he meant silence.
Come" said Mr.. Bonner, "Tll give
you $4,000 IL you will recite that poem
to me-" addressing Mrs. Beecher.
why, 1t ram quickly said Mrs.
Beecher.
"Eunice!" simply said Mr.. Beecher.
And, although Robert Bonner after
ward offered to double the sum first
offered, he never got the poem from
Mrs. Beecher. 1t had been hidden
away by Mrs. Beecher and cherished
as one of the dearest treasures her
husband left her.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-02-15
Irving. Uphill Fight.


When Irving first appeared in a GER
tain midland town critics declared that
his curious mannerisms of voice, gait
and gesture destroyed his chances Of
becoming a great actor. How Irving
COMPOUNDED bis critics by creating tri-
umpn after triumph and redeeming the
English stage from the charge Of me
diocrity Is now a matter Of history
This great Shakespearean actor rose
from the ranks to the head Of his pro-
fession by sheer force Of his histriopic
power. ability and originality. And
withal he was one of the most kindly
Of men, generous to a fault when the
distress and troubles Of others calno
under his notice.-London Mail.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-02-15
'HANa ON HERE, AND WE SHALL BE Bnoy

HANG ON HERE, AND WE SHALL BE BLOWN
ASHORE"
any speed in it. II you can assure me
of twenty miles an hour I shall be posi-
lively chawmed."
He was quietly assured, and after the
machine got we'll started he found the
assurance we'll founded. Bunny began
to get nervous after the speed exceeded
fifteen miles an hour, but he managed
to restrain himself until it had reached
twenty-five. Then his hat blew off, his
hair stood up, and there was a CULVER
to his voice as he turned to the girl
and said:
"Oh. now, l thought we came out
to see the landscape. doncher knaw."
Farmers began to yell, dogs to bark
and drivers Of teams to draw out to
the fences as the speed was raised to
thirty miles an hour, and Bunny Ira
vers confessed to himself that for the
first time in two years he wasn't bored.
The pace went to thirty-ive and then
to forty, and. he finally judged that it
had gone to a hundred and the auto
was flying above the trees. Then it
slackened as they entered a village.
and the girl steered the machine up one
street and down another and finally
halted before the Office Of a Justice of
the peace. A benign looking old gen
tleman came out. and the girl handed
him SIS.
Nov. then, what's all this? 2" asked
Bunny as Miss Nettie was turning the
machine about.
"Oh, whenever l exceed the speed
limit l stop and pay a fine. They don't
have to arrest me and have witnesses
and a trial. Saves time and carries
out the letter of the law. you know.
Little invention Of my own, and l am
thinking Of taking out a patent. I'll
try for a mile a minute going back"
Bunny groaned. To his utter amaze
ment, he was not in the least bored.
On the contrary. he was anxious to
suggest that Miss Nettle accept a check
for $1,000 for the benefit Of charity and
allow him to walk home. Before he
could state the case, however. the
machine was under way. When they
reached home the girl found q bundle
of clothes in the seat beside her. After
awhile Bunny Travers emerged from
the bundle and said that he was a
changed man.
An hour after breakfast next morn
ing when Bunny had finished his cigar
his entertainer asked him if he wouldn't
like to have a bout with the foils. He
smiled incredulously, but she asked
him to follow her to the billiard room
and there produced q pair of foils
Here was his opportunity to get ever
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-02-15
Rectified His Mistake.


The mar of this story is a very light
sleeper, n WHO is easily awakened
and who is a long time getting to
sleep. In a Leeds hotel he had at last
got sound asleep when a loud rap, re-
peated, awoke him.
"What's wanted?"
Package downstairs for you"
well it "a wait till morning, 1
suppose?"
The boy departed, and after a long
time the man was sound asleep again,
when there came another resounding
knock at the door.
"Well, what is 1t now" he inquired.
"'Tain't for you, that package.s-
Philadelphia Ledger.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-02-15
Which Means Exposure,

Hicks-I carried my wife's umbrella
with me yesterday and lost 1t some
where. Now she wants to advertise 1t.
Wicks-That's a good idea. 1t may
be returned to her.
Hicks-That's just the trouble. I'm
almost certain l left it In some saloon.
Catholic Standard and Times.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-02-15
Adam and Eve.

Adam was making his avowal t.
Eve.
mo power shall ever take you from
my side" he declared fervently.
That's a pretty rash promise. isn't
III" inquired Eve. winking. "since you
know | was taken from your side the
first thing after you arrived here?"
P%erceiving that the was Civ.
Ing him a rib roast, Adam went Of
sulking in the aIple orchard. - E5
change.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-02-15
Redbue Exterminator.

One quart of wood alcohol, one pint
OF gasoline, ono ounce of gum cam.
phor, crushed, and one ounce of cor
roslve sublimate. Mix the day before
It is to be used, cork tightly and shake
before using. Inject into all crevices
and cracks.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-02-15
Explosive.

The Count-IIave YOU asked for re
rich young lady's hand vet?
The Duke-YeS. and I think light
min must have struck the telephone.
The Count Nh, Maybe the wires
are crossed.
The Duke No. 1 think it is her IA
fller who is crossed Chicago News.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-02-15
Books That HELPED.

What books have helped you most:"
asked the sincere and serious young
woman.
II can't recall all of EN-" answered
Mr.. Cumrox. "but they were mostly
stories with love and fighting in them.
You see | was in the book selling bust.
ness when ! began to get prosperous
Washington Star.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-02-15
In the Swim.

Gold Flsh-What's Mrs. Shark lead.
ing that dogish around for7
Sea Bass-Oh, she spent last summer
at Newport and says any one who pre-
tends to be in society must have a lap
dog.-Detroit Tribune.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-02-15
What a Bore Society I.I

Mrs. Caterby Dust moved to the sub
urbs)-Don't you think the people here
are awfully slow?
Caterby-I'm too busy to notice.
Mrs. Caterby-Why, really. my dear,
It's hardly worth while living beyond
our income to associate with them
Judge.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-02-15
pisRaured.

'.since Kadley came in for all that
money I don't suppose he'd know me-"
"Well fate evens things up. Since
he started to learn how to run his au-
tomobile you wouldn't know him.
Catholic Standard and Times.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-02-15
Going Him One Better.

Harduppe-Heno,. Flubdub! Lend me
&13 till tomorrow, will you?
Flubdub-But thirteen is unlucky.
Harduppe-Oh. we'll. make 1t $14.
then.-Philadelphia Press.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-02-15
Jaterby-I'm too busy to notice.
Even Exchange.

please don't tell mo any more
Jokes" said the lady in the wayside
cottage. why. that pie joke was
stale"
$50 was the pie you gave me, num-"
laughed Sandy Pixies. smacking Ills
lips.-Chicago News.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-02-15
Tho Scotsman and Washington.

Once a Scotsman was visiting New
York and, coming across a statue of
Washington, stood gazing at 1t.
Just then a Yankee came up and said
to Sandy: There's a good man. A lie
never passed his lips"
"No," said the Scotsman. 81 sup
pose he talked through his nose, like
the rest Of you."-Tit-Bit
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1907-02-15
Woes of the Pole.

Woes of the Pole.
Miss Aurora-What is the matter.
dear?
Bill Eskimo-Why. l am in a terrible
predicament.
Miss Aurora-What is 1t?
Bill Eskimo-Why, your father Is
coming, my arm is frozen, and l can't
get 1t from around you. Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1907-06-21
NAUGATUCK NUGGETS

The public and parochial schools l closed/yesterday for the summer va cation. l The reception and dance of the Naugatuck high school will be given in Columbus hall on Monday even- ing. Prentzel's full orchestra will furnish music.
 A number of local sports will go to New Haven this evening to see the fight between Mosey King and Jeff Doherty. There will be some fast preliminaries.
 The Eagles have decided to en- gage the St Francis T. A. B. society drum corps to lead the local aerie at the state parade which will be held in New Haven next month.
 There will be an important meet ing of Court Naugatuck, I. o. F., this evening in .Hibernian hall on Church street at o'clock. Every member is requested to be present.
 There was a large attendance at the concert and prom given by Lal- Hers Military band of Waterbury in Columbus hall last evening. There were a number of people present from Waterbury.
 Graduation exercises of the Naugatuck high school will be held in the Gem opera house this even- ing at S:15 o'clock. The public is cordially invited to attend the exer- cises. Seats will be reserved for the families of the graduates.
 Word was received from Washing ton by Postmaster Trowbridge that
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1907-06-21
DON'T TRIPLE WITH HEALTH.
Carelessness in Your Food Selection
 Can Make a Dyspeptic of You.

Improper mastication undue haste in eating and irregularity of mea hours, will surely bring on some forms of stomach disturbance. Dr Richards Dyspepsia Tablets are mild and in. valuable digestive and tonic medi- cine for just such disorders.
 Mrs Lizzie Larkin of 104 Park ave. nue. Waterbury. says:
 Il want to say a gocN word for DI Richards Dyspepsia Tablets and what they have done for me. I have been in poor health for several years. have been closely confined and care lessness as to my diet gradually affect ed my stomach until suffered se- verely with indigestion and general breaking dowd of the nervous sys- tenn. On the recommendation of T friend I went to Apothecaries Hall and got bottle of Dr Richards Dys- pepsia Tablets. My stomach was very much diseased and I was affiict- ed with a bad case of constipation. I am glad to give this splendid rem edy my highest endorsement"
 For sale by all druggists. Better to say Richards" twice. Price fifty cents per bottle. Made by Dr Richards Dyspepsia Tablet associa- tion, 5 Worth street, New York.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1907-06-21
0AKVlLlE HAPPENINGS

Miss. Susie Chambers, teacher at the Newton Heights school, gave her pupils a lawn party yesterday after noon. Ice cream and cake were served and the little ones had a pleasant time. |.
 Edward Champaign, Jr, of New ton Heights is visitor with rela- tiyes in Winsted.
 Mrs Louis LaFage, one of the old est residents of Oakville, is seri- ously i'll at her home on Newton Heights, and grave fears are enter tained for her recovery. Her daugh- ter, Mrs James Eagney of New Ha- ven, her son, Lewis of this place and her granddaughter, Miss Beatrice Graham of Middlebury, have been summoned to her bedside.
 Mrs Merton Taylor of Huntsville was one of the out of town guests at the Pullen-Krantz wedding yes- terday, and after a brief visit with her sister, Mrs c. D. Yale on New ton Heights, returned home yester- day.
 Miss Kate McCue of Main street is visiting with relatives in Hart ford.
 Miss Mary O'Connell of Wood street is spending a few days at the home of her brother in Torrington.
 A lawn party is being arranged by the members of All saints par ish to take place on the church grounds on Thursday, July II.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1907-06-21
AOKTS VIEW OF IT.
Japanese Ambassador on In-
 ternational Situation.
REPORT OF HIS RECALL FALSE.
His Countrymen Are Not Looking For Trouble. Says Diplomat-They I Seek No Conquests-Advo-
 cates Intermarriage.

l WASHINGTON, June Viscoun
 Aoki, the Japarpe ambassador il
 Washington, who has shown marked
 reticence for publication in discussing the pending questions affecting Japa
 and the United States, in an interview denied that there was any Japanese
 situation and expressed the beliei that the report that he was to be re called was incorrect.
 "Only the best of relations exist be tween the two countries the ambas sador said, "and there is nothing of a diplomatic character under considera, tion. It is very distressing that there should be agitation over trifies which are purely of local import, if of import at all. do not credit the story of my recall. The Progressives do not have majority in the national legislature. l do not know what their strength really is, but l think not very great"
 Tt is mistake, however, to imagine that Japan is anxious for trouble. We want no trouble. We have a popula- tion of about 50,OOOOOO, and your coun- try has perhaps more than S0,O00OOO, with much more wealth than Japan. The conquests we seek are those of peace We have entered on a con structive era.
 "Would you advocate the intermar- riage of Japanese with people of this country and the naturalization of your countrymen? ?' he was asked.
 "Yes," answered the ambassador. "I think it proper if they individually see fit to marry here. I would leave it to them.
 z AS for naturalization, Japanese be- come subjects of other countries, and Europeans in many cases have become subjects of Japan"
 The ambassador said that it would not be proper for him to express any opinion on the policy of exclusion or, on any other question which might come up for diplomatic adjustment and on which his government had not made known its position.
 The ambassador declared that it was a fallacy to suppose that any country could ever dominate the Pacific.
 "It is too big" he declared, "and there are too many countries bordering on it. And it is idle to suppose that Japan can ever hope to control such vast commerce as even the Asiatic countries can furnish. China has 400.- 100000. Her commerce alone prom ises to provide plenty of business for every one. And while in Japan labor is cheap, yet the' United States with its machinery can produce more cheap ly than Japan can, so that there will always be competition"
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1907-06-21

1 it has been decided to establish a sub-station in the store of the Naug- atuck Drug Go, at the corner of
 Main and Maple streets, on July 16. Money orders and stamps will be sold and letters registered at the new sub-station.
 At the annual school meeting of the Middle district, in the Middle district school house, the following officers were elected for the ensuing year: Committee, Frank B. Hoad- ley; clerk, Harry A. O'Donnell; {; treasurer, Fred M. Candee; collec- tor, Ali E. Schofield.
 The funeral of Patrick Kiely was held yesterday morning from St Francis's church. A requiem high mass was celebrated by the Rev Father Tanning. The pallbearers were Patrick McKeon, William Bro- phy, Michael Shannahan, Richard Durkin and George Lambert. Messrs Durkin and Lambert represented the Foresters of America. The inter- pent was in St James's cemetery.
 Victor Rohs and Miss Regina Johnson were married in the Salem Lutheran church Wednesday even ing by the Rev E. A. Zetterstrand. Emil Rohs, a brother of the groom, was best man and Miss Fannie Lind strom was the bridesmaid Miss Serverina Johnson, a sister of the bride, was maid of honor. Leon A. French presided at the organ. The couple were married under large bell of daisies. After the ceremony a reception was held at the some of MT and Mrs Rohs on Salem street. There were about 175 guests pres. ent.
 Samuel Enanberg and Patrick McCluskey, two we'll known fisher- men, visited Long Meadow Wednes- day afternoon to try their luck. They brought home several nice members of the finny tribe. It was long distance to the brook so they decided to ride and engaged a team from Liveryman ~O'Brien. On arriv- ing at the place they put the horse up in a barn nearby and at once got to work. When they decided to re- turn home they went to the barn, but found the horse was not there. Yesterday morning a farmer came to town and brought the missing horse with him. He said that along towards midnight he heard a noise in his yard and on Investigating found a horse and wagon there and put the rig up over night.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1907-06-21
Fleet Sails on Hurry Orders.

NORFOLK, Va, June 21.-The bat tleships Maine. Iowa and Indiana have passed out of the Virginia capes, bound ostensibly to southern drill grounds for target practice. The sailing of the war. ships. however, was apparently great surprise to the officers and enlisted men. and as a result number of the latter were left behind and are endeav. bring to ascertain what had happened. There is a report in circulation that the departure of the ships was due to unexpected orders received from Washington.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1907-06-21
WATERFOWL JOTTlNGS

The Academy Hill road is closed, as the selectmen are making some repairs on the Highway.
 Herman Marggraff will graduate from the Harvard dental college this year.
 Mir and Mrs S. B. Morton have gone to Indian Lake and will spend the summer there.
 The public schools closed to-day for the summer vacation.
 The Knights of King Arthur will leave for Bantam lake on Monday for their annual camping out. The Rev William T. Holmes will accom- pany them.
 A daughter was born recently to Mr and Mrs James Planning.
 Dr and Mrs E. K. Loveland enter tained the senior class of the Center school at their home on Wednesday evening.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1907-06-21
RIotous Times In France.

PARIS. June 2L-There have been nerce battles at Montpelier. the dra. goons charging the rioters with drawn sabers and woundIng many people. The disturbance is assuming a most grave character. TeIegraphic commu- nication is difiieult At Narbonne the rioters threw policeman into the ca- nal then dragged him out. half drown ed- and killed him Troops fired on the mob. killing four and woundinZ eleven
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1907-06-21
No ships Ordered to Pacific

WASHINGTON, June 21.-Instruc- tions have not been given to the pow erful Atlantic fleet. under command of Rear Admiral Fighting Bob" Evans to concentrate on the Pacific station in anticipation of war with Japan, ire sponsible publications to the contrary notwithstanding. This statement is made here by one of the highest naval authorities.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1907-06-21
Warden Invite. to Hanging.

OSSINING, \. T.. June 21.-warden Johnson of Sing Sing prison sent mo- tices to those whose presence he de- sires at the carrying out of the death sentence pronounced on John Johnson. a wife murderer, who is to be put to death in the electric chair on Monday morning. Johnson killed his \ wife. Catherine, in Yonkers because she re- fused to return to him after he had been released from prison. He has been sentenced to death three times.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1907-06-21
Can Fer LIs-rty .e ,h. co.sr....

THE HAGUE. June 2I Appeals from oppressed peoples all over the world have eurne in a deIuxe to the peace congress. but the petitioners were tod that only delegates can lay uasttsrz heso-p if
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1907-06-21
mid.hipman Muran.. Body Found.

NORFOLK, Va, June 21.-The body of Nidshipman Henry Clay Murfin of Jackson. O.. was found floating in Hampton Roads, recognizable only by the midshipman's uniform.