Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1907-08-27
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lie with sigh)-I have only one
friend on earth-my dog. She-Why
don't you get another dog?-Chicago
Daily News.
4 1lllman-Aes. she's married to real
estate agent, and good, honest fellow.
too. Subbubs-Good gracious. Big
amy, eh?-Philadelphia Press.
Johnny, doesn't your conscience tell
you that you are doing wrong?" "Yes.
mother, but father said l wasn't to be-
lieve everything l Punch.
Patience you ever hear the
Duette sisters sing in concert? Patrice
No; one always seems to be a little
ahead of the -Yonkers States
man.
no, don't care for English opera"
why not?" Because it bothers me to
listen to what the singers are saying
when | want to talk. Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Nell-She always said she wanted a
husband who was easily pleased. Bess
Did she get such one? Nell-Why,
yes; didn't he marry er:-Lippincott's
Magazine.
Il should think" she said, "that golf
ing would make you awfully tired"
mo, / stand it first rate. You see.
never keep my score at all."-Chicago
Record Herald
| Church, see that Argentine has a
54-mile horse railway 1t is the long
est In the world. Gotham--Gee! Think
Of holding on to a strap for "a miles -
Yonkers Statesman
II must get you another chair for the
kitchen, Katie; see you have only
cue" "Sure, you needn't mind, ma'am.
: lave none but gintleman callers
Yonkers Statesman.
I'm going to put a fender on the
front of my runabout" $50 you won't
run over some one?" Nope. SO 1t
won't hurt the radiator when I do
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Wigwag- fine dog of yours,
Saphedde. Saphedde-Yes, indeed, he
is. That dog knows as much as do.
Wigwag-I'll give you quarter for
Record
Excuse me, sir, but this is the sixth
time that you have gone away without
paying" ''Oh, my dear young lady,
when man sees you he forgets every
thing else."-Fliegende Blaetter.
Lady Customer wish to tell you
how these shoes of mine are to be
made. Shoemaker-Oh, I know that
well enough-large inside, and small
outside -Meggendorfer Blaetter.
"Oh! Willie. what's this queer look
in thing with about a million legs?"
That's a millennium. It's somethin'
like a centennial, only it has more
legs" Natural History" in Life.
Nell-Yes, she said her husband mar
ried her for her beauty. What do you
think of that? Believed, l think
her husband must feel like a widower
now-Catholic Standard and Times.
Blinks-The first principle of an
archism is to divide with your fellow
man, is it not? Winks-No. The first
principle is to make your fellow man
divide with you.-Chicago Daily News.
Hotel Propretor-Has not the man
in No. Is received his bill yet? Head
Waiter-Certainly Fifteen minutes
ago. Strange l hear him still sing
ing in his room" -Meggendorfer Blaet-
| ter
Tired Tatters-I saw de new moon
over me left shoulder las night l
wonder wot OATS a sign NV? Weary
Walker-It's a sign dat de mex place
youse ask fer work yousell git it
Chicago Daily News.
Mr.. Phoxy-Did you send the Borems
card for our Eat home" Mrs.
Phoxy-Yes how could l get out of it?
Mr.. Phoxy-I'll tell Borem that jerks
is coming. Borem owes him money
Terre Haute Tribune.
"Ah pretty lady" said the fortune
teller. you wish to be told about your
future husband?" Not much" replied
Mrs. Galley. "Ive come to learn where
my present husband is when he's abb
sent Philadelphia Press.
Husband explaining his late home
coming My dear, couldn't help it,
/ Just missed the last car and had to
wait forty minutes. Wife-Now don't
blame it on the street car company.
They've troubles enough without YOU
Detroit Free Press.
rr.x.t-fx, on, xxrou Ilfapt-, t.,.4 s,,oy,
bad fellow, after all. Dawklns-
What makes you say that? Hawkins
Well, he wouldn't lend me the $40 that
l asked him for, but he didn't take adj
vantage of the opportunity to give me
good advice.-So merville Journal.