The San Francisco call., 1907-06-23
Getting a Woman's Name

Getting a Wonan'S Name
I'm the case of a woman this is
sometimes a little difficult. Small ser
vices are often mistaken for attempts
at Irritation and sometimes meet with
q chilly reception; or she may be the
kind of woman on whom gallantry is
wasted. Yet we are seldom foiled.
With a woman of the last kind one
of our men would arrange for a col
lision in the aisle, when off would come
his hat while he exclaimed. Beg par
don, madam. The name, pleaser And
in her confusion she would be almost
sure to stammer her name
'Or one can work the mistaken iden-
tity' dodge Bustle up to her, hat in
hand: Why how are you, Mrs. Jones?
How well you look. Is John in the
smoking car? Not Mrs. Jones? Mrs
Brown of Placer? Madam, you sur
prise me. What a remarkable resem-
blance"
50. one way or another. we get the
name, and there our responsibility
ends. The case is handed over to a
confederate. Some companies demand
absolute proof, and it is up to him to
get it. So, one day, we'll say Hiram
Jones of keokuk is plowing summer
fallow. top buggy driven by a pros
porous gentleman in white waistcoat
turns into the field. He gives the name
of a lawyer who is prominent in poll
tics three counties away. Hiram has
heard of him and feels flattered, and as
he leads to the house bent on hospi-
talities the lawyer opens his business.
1T is sad case. A fine young
fellow has been accused of the s.
murder, that infamous crime which has
just startled the world. Mr. Jones
hasn't heard Of It? The lawyers as
tonishment passes belief. Why, what
paper does he take? oh, the 'Sentinel.'
a weekly. The full account will be in
the next number. Well, this fine young
chap, whom the lawyer has known
from birth, has been accused of it, but
he claims that on the day and hour Of
the murder he was talking to Hiram
Jones of keokuk in a smoking car on
the r. Il. road. Follows a detail of the
conversation, and Hirams glasses be-
gin to CLEAN. 1t is not often that fame
in the form of connection with a cele-
brated murder comes to an inhabitant
OF Keokuk.
"Of course he remembers the young
fellow. Tall, wasn't he, and sandy
complicated?
"Surei the lawyer also enthuses. It
is shame that suspicion should have
tarnished his name, but with Mr. Jones'
help they will soon remove the STAIN
By the way. among other things the
lawyers client claims that the conduc-
tor came along while he was talking
with Mr.. Jones and that the latter paid
him so much
Maybe Hiram balks-is certain to II
he has not paid full fare. The lawyer
winks. Yes, yes. He knows. They all
do it, but this affldavitS just goes to the
Judge, the case is dismissed, and there's
an end OF IL. Now if Mr.. Jones will
kindly step into the buggy he can have
SO for his time and the lawyer will
send him home in a livery rig.
1T is easy money, and when the
grating conductor steps 'on the car
pet he is handed an affidavit which
his old friend, Hiram Jones of Keokulx,
did on the day and date above men
toned pay TO him, the conductor, such
or such sum, same not having been
paid in to the company's treasurer"
Can you form any estimate OF the
percentage of knocking down on
American roads?' I asked, after men
tioning a report that a conductor on a
Mexican line had stolen over a thou
sand dollars month.
1T does seem incredible" he thought
fully replied. But it might be true.
Coming down here ] talked with the
superintendent of a New York insur-
ance company and he told me that q
certain conductor was paying $500 a
month on an endowment policy with
his company. / got that man on his
next trip. But as regards the percen-
tage OF graft, I cannot say. You see,
to doctor this world must seem to
be pretty we'll made up of sick people,
a lawyer is apt to look on it as a con-
gregation of sharps and rogues, and in
the same way spotter is likely to see
nothing but graft on the roads. There
are numbers Of honest conductors; hun
dreds who have grown gray in the
service, and their record is a credit to
human nature, for their days are spent
In the midst of bribes. No, I could not
give you the percentage of graft on
any particular road, but we might get
at 1t in another way. All transporta-
ton lines on this continent are now
pohced by some half dozen spotter
companies My company employs so
men, and allowing fbe same number