Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-16

any different. although observed that the
other fellows in the coach had fallen into
n great state of calm and that they were
watching me with singular intentness and
grinntng as IL I'd been meking EN- stump
speech.
Then I became saki-ed all OF a sudden.
1t came with q rush. I could feel myself
going loco all in half a second. 1 saw those
seven shipmates OF mine slapping their
thighs ana heard 'em howl In their ghouiish
glee. and the rest OF TT all a hashed night
mare. 1 only know what happened by hear
say. fney all told me-you can stand a tap
pettmg on that. They were telling me all
cruise.
1T seems that when that baby food got
me l Instantly jumped to the conclusion.
not only that the man driving the stag.
wasn't on to his job. but that I had all OF
the famous whips that ever lived. Including
Ben Hur, Hank Monk and those people.
backed on the boards when IL came TO
guiding four-legged things.
80 climbed out onto the seat with the
driver and told him that he could sit on tho
ing for the remainder of the up journey He
couldn't see this somehow, but before he
found 1t at all necessary to argue the point
with me 4 fel or the seat onto the boulder
'The procession came to a momentary
halt and was dumped back into my place
in the leading coach, when i promptly
nailed quart No. 2 of the Jap infant food
and got outside OF 1t.
Became q Regular Cutup.
''Thereupon I made my seven shipmates
a most melancholy speech. in the progress
OF which Informed them that two minutes
previously I had received a cable message
stating that three aunts of mine that I'd
never had In St. Louis or anywhere else
had been dashed to death while engaging
in their favorite amusement, ballooning,
and that they'd bequeathed and devised
unto me. their favorite nephew and sole
heir. their entire joint estate, a mere bag
o. shells consisting OF three billion yen.
II wound this announcement up rather
suddenly. I was Informed later. by climb
ing out through the window to the roof
of the stage and essaying to walk on my
hands over the coach roof while the coach
was moving along in full career on an in
cline OF about so degrees. didn't get away
with this acrobatic feat, II seems and only
escaped a gruesome death by being yanked
back into the coach in the nick Of time. an
instant before the coach turned sharp
curve.
"Well, the rest Of the trip doesn't matter.
I insisted. 1t seems. on riding on the back
OF the rear OF horse for q great part of the
distance, and they told me that l only fell
OF and under the wheels once In while.
I dunno.
''The stage reached the Volcano House.
which Is almost on the edge Of the seething
crater Of Kilauea- along toward o'clock
in the afternoon, but 1 never saw 1t. and
u.
ished OF all OF the jap baby fodder and
when the stage that I was in pulled up
In front OF Peter Lees hosiery. was SOL
EMMY inviting any man on the coach to
match dollars with me for the possession
OF the entire Hawaiian group OF islands, or.
II they didn't care for that method of de-
termining the ownership Of the islands. to
engage In teeth encounters with me for the
same all parties to the contest to hold
their arms rigidly to their sides and Just
bite.
Lee the proprietor of the caravansary. 1
hailed him. heard. with choking sobs, as
a sister of mine that I hadn't seen since
twelve years before the Seminole war: Ana
then 1t was me for the little white bunk.
while the rest of the bunch. none of them
any the worse of than a little bit chesty
and giddy from their swipes.' separated
into parties and took In that burning lake
spectacle from every point OF view.
Asleep Beside a Sulphur Pit.
II don't know how I ever got out or
that room. but the next morning they
found me lying at the mouth of a sulphur
pit that was working. I had all OF my
clothes on. and I was sound asleep. telling
the sulphur pit In my sleep that 1t wasn't
any lady
and for about one-nineteenth of second
came to- Then unfortunately l just jog
gled my head from side to side, and there
was, sakf-ed all over again. Sakis q
cheap drunk when it comes to that-all
you've got to do when you wake up after
saki souse Is to wink, and there you are.
burned all over again.
That's how didn't see the burning lake
Of Kilauea or any part OF It, and that's
why, reading about the doings Of Mauna
Loa. Kilauea's pal, always gives me big
head by the pure force Of the association
Of ideas.
ION the down trip to Hlo that afternoon
It was me for a little pallet in the bottom
Of the stage. although I don't remember
even that end of 1t. ! came to in the room
Of q Hilo hotel. with four Of my ship
mates prodding me- I felt as II I'd been
through q copper mine cave-in-my mouth
felt and tasted particularly copperfsh-and
my hair was dyed a cute apple-green from
my slumber alongside the Kilauea sulphur
pit.
when I was able to get into my clothes
I bought two gnarled partridge wood clubs
and went after that barkeep Of Lycurgus
who had told me about what nice article
saki was for thirst-quenching purposes. but
somebody had tipped him off that was a.
coming. and he took to the foothills and
stayed there till our ship lifted anchor and
pulled out for Honolulu"
CLARENCE L. CULLEN.