Alaska sentinel., 1907-11-07
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 The feller thet's allus tellin' what 6 wonderful woman his wife is gener- ally haz t smoke in tn kitchen.-Abe Martin.
 City Man-Has your wife a good cook now? Suburbanlte-I don't know I have not been home since morning. Pioneer Press.
 "Yes, I'm going abroad at once. gotta go." "Oh, you mustn't let the doctors scare you" Il got this from a lawyer."-Washingto Herald.
 Sillicus-When would you say that man reaches the age of discretion? Cynicus-When he realizes that he is too old to marry.-Philadelph Rec ord.
 Maude-When you refused him my hand, papa, did he get down on his knees2 Pater-Well, I didn't notice just where he fell.-New York Even. ing Mail.
 She-He has most extraordinary | HSoANy iuSh uc llc-l ldl SO. believe an umbrella is about the only thing he can buy ready made.-Ally Sloper's Half Holiday.
 ''Tompkins Is having an awful time with his new auto" "In what way" Every time he repairs it he has lot of parts left over that he cant find place for" ."-Milwaukee Sentinel
 Magistrate Do you mean to say your husband struck you, and he that physical wreck? Mrs. Maloney- Yes, yer honor; but he's only been physical wreck since he struck me- Independent.
 First Tourist-What are you writ ing down? Second Tourist-I'm mak. ing a note of few things that have made an indelible impression upon my memory, so 1 shan't forget them.-Chi. cago Journal.
 Il can't spare the money very well, but I'll gladly loan it to you if you promise not to keep it too long," "I solemnly swear that I'll spend every pChls oI IL Dtloit lo-ilOllON ing !-Fliegende Blatter
 Il guess they've caught that wife murderer" Anything in the papers about it." "No; but I saw several women with big punches of flowers hurrying toward the jail little while ago.'-Chicago Record-IIerald. Husband-I wish I had some of those good, old-fashoned biscuits like mother used to make for me. Wife | And I wish 1 had some of those nice old-fashioned clothes like father used to buy for me.-Chicago News.
 Hicks-Your friend Marryat tells me he's got his wife pretty thorough | ly trained now. Wicks-Yes, he's got her trained so that he can make her do pretty nearly anything she wants to do.-Catholic Standard and Times. Young Husband-When my wife be- gan to do her own cooking We were having company every day: tiresome relatives, colleagues, so-called friends. Gradually they all dropped off, and | lutd NC 'ShSuSCu Soou NOOhs iiI- gende Blatter.
 Bronson-My wife writes to me ev- cry few days from the mountains for more money. Woodson-Well, I gave my wife all the money I had before she went away, and now l have to write to her when I want some.- Harper's Weekly.
 "Why, Mary" said her mistress, q told you to tidy up my room an hour ago, and here it is Tn terrible dsor der" "Yes, mum, and I did, said Mary, "but the master came in to put on a clean collar, mum, and he lost the stud. ."-London' Tatler. "If you do not take care of your money" said the ant to the grasshop- per, "the world will simply sheer and ask you what you did with it." Yes and if invest it and become rich the world will sheer and ask me where got it."-Washington Star.
 MT. Justcott-Why, what are you crying about, dear? Mrs. Justcott- 1 Oh, George The mice have got into the pantry and eaten up a beautiful custard pie made myself! Mir. Just | cott-There, there. Don't cry over a | few little mice.-Cleveland Leader. Hes a great growler, isn't he?" Hurricane is nothin' to him." Finds fault with everything" Worst you ever saw" By the by-what is he doing now?' Editing the Band of Hope and Sunshine department of new magazine !"-Atlanta COnstitu | tion.
 They were celebrating their engage ment by dining at swell cafe. Do you believe" she queried, that man is really made of dust?" Well" he It. Joined, glancing at the dinner check, "he wouldn't be able to travel far in