Alaska sentinel., 1907-08-15
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 Did I understand you to say that my appearance had improyed?" No. I said you looked more like yourself" Life.
 Dear Robert, I intend to share all your cares" But, my pet, have no cares" "I mean after we are mar rled. Blatter.
 Briggs-My wife had a birthday yes terday, and we took day of. Griggs When mine has birthday she takes a year off.-Casselrs Journal.
 Hadsum-I want good revolver. Dealer-A six shooter? Hadsum-Bet. ter make 1t a nine shooter. It's for a cat next door.-Ally Sloper.
 Do you know, my husband, had a terrible habit of sleeping In church, but be broke himself of It." How? Gave up going ."-Sketchy Bits
 Teacher-What is a coal magnate Tommie? Tommie-I don't know madam; I only thought those things come in cheese .-Yonkers Statesman. Missionary-And do you know noth ing whatever of religion? Cannlbal- Well, We got taste of It when the last missionary was here.-Cleveland Leader.
 Roberts-Poor Williams died and Jeff wife and three children. Jones That's nothing. He was too mean te take them anywhere when be was liy ing.-Life.
 Friend-I suppose the baby Is fond of you? Papa-Fond of me? Why ht sleeps all day when I'm not at home and stays up all night just to enjo, my society News.
 Mrs Backpay-Good. morning, sir VIII you take chair? Installmeni House Collector-No, thank you ma'am. I've come to take the piano. Philadelphia Record.
 First Thespian-And the audience my boy, you should have seen them They were glued to their seats. See ond Ditto-Ah, good way of keeping them there.-Bystander. The Coming Guest-I See you charge five shlllinss for a room. When I wa: here in December you only charged three shillings a day. The Landlady An. but the days are longer now.- Sketch.
 First Man-How do you do? Sec ond Man-Beg pardon, but you hays the advantage of me. First Man-Yes suppose I have We were engaged to the same girl; but you married her -Tit-Bits.
 Suburban Host (to unexpected sup per guest)-Now then, Miss Hobson will you have a little of this rabbit pie or-er-or docking round and dis covering there Is no other dish )-ol not ?-The Tattler.
 When I was coming home las night" said Miss Skeery, Il saw a mar skulking along in the shadow. Oh how I ran" An couldn't you catcf htm;" inquired her little brother. in nocently.-Cleveland Leader.
 The Eldest Hope-Who's that, ma His Fond Mama-'Ush, 'Orace, that's the gentleman that married me. The Eldest Hope-Then, if that's the gen tleman wot married you, wot's pa do ing In our house?-The Sketch. Visitor (to artists young wife)- Whatever were you two laughing over so just now? Wife-Oh, it was such fun! My husband painted and I cook ed. and then We both guessed what the things were meant for.-Tatler.
 A man who was charged at the Will, esden police court with intoxica ton and using bad language pleaded guilty to the first part of the charge adding: "As to the language, I know nothing about that because I'm deaf London Express
 "That young student upstairs must have a tremendous correspondence postman; you always have letters for him." "Yes; I quarreled with him once, and ever since he sends himself a post card every day, so I have tc mount five flights of stairs to deliver lt."-Tit-Bits
 Miss withers-You are blushing Coya! What was that clumsy partner of yours saying? Miss Knisely-Oh nothing; only that before he met me life seemed a desert to him. Nils: Withsrs-That is no reason why he should waltz like a dromedary, Is lii Town and Country.
 They had been married just seven months and nineteen days by the almanac. Tomorrow" she announced will be my birthday. What are you going to get for me, George" "l haven't, the least idea, my dear" re piled her husband. "I read In last nights paper about Kansas man who