Los Angeles herald., 1907-02-14
HEARD AROUND
THE CORRIDORS
LOS ANGELES TO HAVE
AN "oRNERY MANS CLUB"
ny THE EAvEsDRoPPER

The "Onery and worthless Mems
Club of the World" is to have a Los
Angeles branch-no indeed. It Is worse
than that. Los angeles already has a
branch and it is growing by such leaps
and bounds that the western promoters
are considering limiting the member
ship.
In almost every local hotel groups
Of men could be seen talking over
their qualifications for membership
last night, but i'm the Alexandria cor
ridor there ,,as such a hotbed of them
that at one time 1t was thought the
police would have to be called.
The reason was the presence of
Judge Hoggatt of Bullfrog and other
kindred spirits from Nevada. The
Judge has just come down from San
Francisco, where he says he was look
ing out for the interest of the or
ganization around the bay cities, and
he is being swamped by applications
for membership.
The judge is so tall that Sam Whit
more Of the Alexandria has been con-
sidering putting i'm a special tower
in the annex so that he can stand up
without hunching his shoulders.
The first night he was there he tried
to sleep in a bed, but the beds fell so
far short of being long enough to hold
him that he gave up trying to sleep
at all.
He lowered so far above his fellows
in the corridor when they discussed
the qualifications of some would-be
"orneries" last night that some of the
little fellows fled in fright and at last
reports they were still running.
The judge has done considerable
trotting in his day, and he swears he
is a good judge of men. A long time
ago he was mayor of Guthrie, Okla,
and from there he stepped over to New
York, where he spent five years prac-
ticing law and wishing he could find
room enough to stretch his legs. One
day his legs got the best of him and
when he woke up he found himself In
Nome, Alaska. His height caused the
miners to look up to him, and when
he hinted that the city attorneys seat
would be about big enough for him a
committee of them climbed to the top
of the tallest building and raising their
voices heavenward shouted a plea to
the Judge that he would accept the
position. Since then he has been in
Nevada.
Lots Of candidates down here for
the 'Ornery and Worthless Mems Club
of the World, but not so many as in
Nevada" said the Judge. We just had
to place a limit. We don't let every
'ornery' man in, because some one
would have to work to keep track of
the members. Some men are too 'orn-
cry even for us.
Going to start a woman's auxiliary.
Can't cheat the women out of all the
good things. Afraid they will start
an opposition If we don't.
There's woman at Ludlow we are
going to make chief. Ludlow is a dry
town and when a fellow gets in there
he's usually pretty dry. She used to
be an English barmaid. Runs blind
pig now When you ask for something
to drink you plank down a dollar and
she says Hi never sells nothin'. I
don't While she says it she works
around with her bare feet-I forgot
to say she never wears shoes-finds
bottle of beer and rolls it under the
counter to you. When it hits your
foot that's the signal to pick it up.
Judge Sexton of Beatty, he's one Of
the orneries He is here; and then
there's Doc Miller, the little fellow
from Tonopah who is so 'ornery' he
prefers being a miner rather than a
doctor, and the only thing he ever
does in the medical line is to knock
people down with his automobiles just
to give the other doctors a chance at
a little coin.
Judge Lindsey. he's one of us, and
there are a lot of others. That young
fellow over in the corner, Mcmahon,
he's one, too, and Los Angeles is full
of others.
"Glad to have you join, but you got
to cut out work. Oh don't mention it
delighted, 1 assure you"