Morris tribune., 1907-11-09
HE NEVER LIED

do anything for him. and he said he
hoped so, but could perhaps tell bet
ter after he made his proposition. lie
wanted me to find for him man who
had never lied.
81 presume" said l, you insist upon
an out and outer'-that is, one who
never told even the slightest fb either
In joke or in an innocent, philosoph.
ical manner"
"Yes, sir" he replied, II want the
genuine article. You shall have rea-
sonable time, and your remuneration
shall be commensurate with the impor-
lance of the undertaking"
After a few more remarks between
us my customer withdrew. had
bound myself to find man who had
never told lie.
At last, after spending time, money
and health without the remotest symp
tom of success, began to feel strong
suicidal tendencies. The thought OF
failure was terrible one to bear, and
my blood ran cold and my heart sank
within me as | pictured myself cast
forever and irrevocably down from
the high position which ! now held in
the eyes of the world as the result OF
my former successes. | really felt that
there was but one way for me to re-
alize the expectations of my customer,
and that was to get married and raise
and educate man Ito order" But
this scheme bristled with so many diff
fculties-not the least of which was
that of time-that I was constrained
to abandon the idea. Drowning man
turn I must empty handed and morti-
fed, but as there were many miles be-
tween us l eagerly embraced the faint,
the very faint, hope that might wiring
from fate that to which my zeal and
perseverance had entitled me.
was within about weeks journey
from home. Dark indeed had been my
returning pain, and now the deepest
gloom weighed down my spirits. II
seemed to me that human nature was
given up to the sin of lying to
greater extent than | ever dreamed
of. l made up my mind that only In
the realms of myth could find man
who could produce clean and spotless
record as votary of truth.
But somebody has said that 1t is
always darkest just before day"
have the best reason for subscribing
to the perfect correctness of that state
ment
With that indescribable feeling, then,
of triumphant joy did l send off the
following Geographic dispatch to my
friend, the virtuoso:
complete fruition has crowned my
work. have this day found the OBJ
ject of my search. No doubt Of its
genuineness What shall l do with
him?''
In a short time a response was re-
turned, in which, after being congratu-
lated, was directed to bring my man
to him, sparing neither money nor in
f1uence for that purpose.
1 consulted with the gentleman in
question and obtained his assent to
the proposition. He was perfectly
willing to go with me, and he evinced
as much interest in this novel business
as either my customer or myself.
found him comfortable apartments
at one of our best hotels and sent for
my employer He came without the
least delay.
"And so, my dear fellow, you have
found himY
II have" / replied. But it was
after most arduous search" q didn't
confess how desperate ! had become
and how more by accident than by
design l came across the man we
wanted) II was determined to sue
coed and have done so. l could have
brought you great many men with
records from fair to middling, but I
knew you wanted one pure and I'M
adulterated, and such I was bound to
furnish you. This man has never told
a lie, and | give you the warranty
founded upon the strictest examination
of himself and his antecedents. | have
the sworn testimony of all his family
and the principal people of the town In
which he has lived all his life. But I
will not detain you from interviewing
your prize. He is at the x. hotel"
I had very early caller next morn
ing in my anxious customer. He quiet
~ took a seat beside me, wearing upon
his face the most curiously solemn ex-
preston ever saw on a human physi-
ognomy. He placed his hand upon my
knee and looked into my face. Paus-
ing a moment. he said:
''What is the matter with that manY
Nothing, hope" said l, Ito his dis
credit. He hasn't been lying to you,
has he?"
81 think not" said my visitor, and
the frozen face melted little why.
sir, the fellows as dumb as an oyster!'
"Thats correct" said l. "And he has
been ever since he was born. Here"
continued suiting the action to the
word, lis the joint affidavit of his ia