The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-03-10
TAILOR MADE MAJOR
Quick Promotion in the
Venezuelan Service.
TWO BoLIVARS FOR THE JOB
Garrison Didn't Know How to Fire
the Calling Gun, and an ObIiging
dante How 1t Was Done-RichIy
Rewarded with Green Stripes.

Talk about principalites and kingdoms
| as we see them on the comic opera stage.
why, they aren't in it for the burlesque
business with some Of the Central and
South American republics. and while on
| this tack / am reminded of a little story
| that was told me once by a sort Of free
lance. or adventurer, who claimed to
/ have been the hero, or victim, which
ever you choose 20 call it, Of the Incl
dent"
/ Lee W Gibbs, representing a wholesale
shoe house Of Chicago, sat in the lobby
/ Of the New Denechaud few nights ago,
says the New Orleans Picayune, and
while entertaining several friends related
/ a rather extraordinary and at the same
time amusing yarn
| Il met the chap who told me the story
! / am going 10 Try on you In Chicago last
summer" Mr. Gibbs took up his nara
( tive. "and the fellow gave me his solemn
word-but 1 can't say how much that Is
worth-that the yarn was true. His name
was Walton-that's not exactly 1t. but
no matter, it viii do, and he claimed to
be a sort Of globe-trotter, a soldier Of
fortune, and a whole lot OF other things
/ that I don't remember.
"a few years ago Walton, according
/ to his statement. went to Venezuela,
/ thinking that there might be "a chance
/ of a ructiou. Castro, the irrepressible,
was just boiling over about that time
doing the sword dance, eating powder and
/ shot for breakfast, and vowing that II he
/ was given half a chance, he would send
/ the allied fleets OF the world 20 Davy
Jones locker, and destroy the armies as
well. and Walton faucied that The little
mans frOthings II least nignt stir up d
revolution. il nothing else. He knew, as
We all know, that those Latin revolutions
I are Jokes, and be felt that II DE could
get mixed up tn one he would have lots
I of fun. and perhaps gain some small
profit in the way of booty.
soon struck Luck.
"WeH. he struck Venezuela. with port
manteau containing few changes Of ap-
parel and finding that things were rather
1 dull in the larger cities. he headed for the
/ interior towns He reached one little
place on big river about twenty miles
/ from the sea, and soon found himself in
great luck.
The town had q garrison consisting Of
! ten high pTiVaIeS. a CUmmdGdaut TWO col
Ouels. four captains. eight lieutenauts. TWO
surgeons. with the rank o. major, and a
! chaplain. Fine array wasn't b.? Those
/ poor privates must have caught il from
SO many officers. and only stayed, doubt
/ less, because commissions for the whole
lot were on their way. Now this i'm
posing military force had a fine new Cat
ling gun. set up on a blutf, commanding a
range of the river. but not man. either
officer or private. knew the first thing
about working the gun This lack Of
knowledge on their part was the great
luck for Walton I mentioned q moment
ago The American had been In town
less than half an hour, and iu that time
had made the acquaintance of several OF
the officers, when some one told him of
the Cat Ig gun. All. Senior. said the In
formaut, his hands extended Ia an eIo-
quent appeal, and his face wearing the
expression of a child with a broken toy
give as your sympathy, We have The
grand gun, but, alas, we cannot shoot
him.
Walton had served in the American
army during the Spanish war. and knew
everything connected with the workings
OF Gatliugs. Here was his opportunity,
and directing his remark TO all the Off
GERS. he asked. Have you any ammuni-
tionE' They all caorUsed, 81. seuOr.' and
FASTENED 20 explain that the cartridges
had come with the gun. II that's Jtre
case, then assured Walton, 7 can
show You the mechanism of the gun and
instruct you as 10 how 10 shoot it,
The VeneZuelans were Ovgri0yed: they
Waited about the American. making
elaborate bows, declaring him TO be the
savior OF the city-they'd have kissed him
had he permitted it-and finally forming
themselves into guard Of honor con-
Quoted him to the little one-story adobe
/ house which served as the city hall
where the cOmmandante was quartered.
The COmmandante, q fat, greasy little
SpaniaTd, i'm bright green uniform, Law
back IN a cane chair, with his feet resting
on desk sleeping when the crowd en-
tered his office. but the noise aroused him
and he stood trying TO look dignihed and
failed, as his short legs became tangled
in his long saber, and he nearly did a
iiphap.
JOY in the Palace.
zone of the colonels explained TO the
commandaute that the Americana could
shoot the Calling gun, and the comman-
dante, smiling behind his fierce curved
and pointed mustache. clapped his hands,
jumped with JOY, and again nearly took a
header because Of that terrible sword.
The whole army turned out in a few
minutes, two-thirds Of the privates bare
footed, and only three OF them possessing
muskets and the officers in the most
brilliant kind Of uniform, In which a pro
fusion of gold braid played a big part.
and the march was taken TO the bluff
willing little bUrro was used to carry the
heavy box of ammunition.
" You see, you do it this way Walton
explained opening and loading the gun,
and to fire it you only turn this crank
There was a rattle and roar as the
Calling belched flame and smoke and the
whole army becoming wildly enthusiastic,
cheered and whOoped Justify.
After shooting one round. Walton took
the commandante in charge, and the fat
little boss of the whole shebang. when he
turned the crank, was as hilariously happy
as a boy with his first pack of firecraclS-
ers. The commandante was not satisfied
with shooting once he kept on until ne
had thrown six rounds to the empty air.
Then the colonies, the majors, the cap
t.Lns. the lieutenants and even the chap
lain had their turns, and when Walton
went TO close the ammunition box he was
pushed rudely 20 one side-that fun was
TOO good TO lose so soon.
That box wasn't a whole cartridge
factory, and before those foolish Dagoes
were willing to desist there We're only
enough shots left to give each of the
anxious privates a try at the gun. The
ammunition was all gone. but the army
didn't care, and the commandante in
rited all hands down to the palace-thats
what they called that miserable little hut
to have d drink with him.
Promoted rs Hero.
Walton was a hero. and the COM