Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1907-08-03
BY f. P. dunno.
Copyright, 1907, by H. H.
Mcclure g. Coz

|
"Yeer frind Simpson was in here
awhile ago." said Mr.. Dooley, AN he
was that mad
what allied him." asked Mr.. Hen
4 messy.
"Well," said Mr. Dooley, ut seems
he wint into me frind Hip Lung S
laundry to get his shirt an it WASH I
ready. Followin' what Hogan calls
lmmemoryal usage, he called Hip Lune
such names as he cud raymimber and
thried to dhrag him around tn place
be his shinin' braid But instead iv
| askin' f'r mercy, as he ought to, Hill
| Lung swung a flat-iron on him an
| thin irpned out his spine as he gal
| loped up tn stairs He come to me
| fr advice an / advised him to see tn
| American consul Who's tn Ameri-
can consul in Chicago now? | don't
know. But Hogan, who was here at
tn time, grabs him be tn hand an
! says he: L congratulate ye me boy,
he says. 'Ye have a chance to be wan
iv tn first martyrs iv tn white race
in tn gr-reat struggle that's comm
between thin an tn smoked or tinted
races Nv tn wurruld,' he says. Yell
he another Jawn Browns body or Mrs.
O'Learys COW. Go back an let tn
Chink kill yo an cinchries hence peo-
pie will come with wreathes and ate
10 rI ha
says. But Simpson said he did not
care to be martyr. He said he was
a retail grocer be prO-fissyon an Hip
Lung was a customer iv his, though he
got most iv his vittles firm tn taxy-
dermist up tn sthreet an he thought
he'd go around tomorrah an concily
ate him. So he wint away.
Hogan, dye mind, has a theory
that it's all been up with us blondes
since tn Jap'nese war Hogan is a
prophet. He's wan iv tn gr-reatest
prophets l know. A prophet, Hinnissy,
is man that foresees throuble. No
wan wud listen a minyit to amy pro-
phet that prophesized pleasant days.
A successful weather prophet is wan
that predicts thunder storms, hurry
canes an earthquakes; a good finan-
cial prophet is wan that predicts pam
les, ivrybody busted an Jawn D.
Rockyfellar windin' hand organ; a
polytickal prophet must look into tn
tea leaves, an see tn institutions "
tn wurruld cracked wide open an the
smilin, not to say GRIMM, field i've
this country iv ours, or somebody's,
laid waste with fire and soard. Hogan's
that kind iv prophet. Pm unhappy
about today but cheerful about tomor-
rah. Hogan is tn happyest man in tn
worruld about today but tomorrah
something is goin' to happen | hate
today because tomorrah looks so good.
He's happy today because it is so
pleasant compared with what tomor-
rah is goin' to be. Says /: Cheer p.,i
We'll have good time at tn picnic
next Saturdah.' Says he: 1T will rain
at tn picnic He's rale prophet. |
wudden't pick him out as a we'll
finder He cuddent find gold mine
FIR We but he cud see tn bottom iv
wan through three thousand feet iv
bullyon. He can peer into tn most
binding sunshine an see tn darkness
lurkin' behind 1T. He's predicted ivry
wan that has happened in our time
an eight thousand that haven't hap
pened to happen. If he had his way
tn United States navy wud be so big
that there wudden't be room f'r
young fellow to row his girl in Union
Park. He can see war cloud where
| can't see anything but somebody
cookin' his dinner or lightin' his pipe.
He'd made tn gr-reat foreign iditor
an he'd be fine FIR TIL job FIR he's best
late at night.
Hogan says tn time has come FIR
tn subjick races iv tn wurruld to
rayjooce us fair vans to their own
complexion be batin' us black and blue
Up to now twas: Sam, we black ras-
cal tow in thin eppS Or I'll p,1Sh ya'er