Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-05-26
NEWS OF INTEREST
TO THE AUTOMOBILES

When the automobile bill was up for con-
sideration recently In the Illinois legislature
Representative Robinson. an enthusiast. is
said to have proposed the following amend
ments:
I'm case a farmers horse will not pass
the machine. the autoist will take his car
apart and conceal the parts in the grass
"Al autoists will wear DISCUSSES. ladies
will go yelled and numbers will be placed
upon machines upside down.
In approaching curves autoists will take
the horn and go ahead on foot. sounding 1t
one minute and listening the next.
I'm, case of being called names. the auto
ist shall pay attention unless he Is
called 'mollycoddle' in which case he
shall pay his fine for assault.
speed country roads shall be limited
10 ten miles an hour until the tourist sees
bailif who does not appear to have had
a drink in thirty days. when the motorist
shall be permitted to make all the speed
he can.
In case of breakdown. the autoist will
have his machine out of the road and cover
1t with grass and brush In order that no
horse shall take fright pending repairs.
I'm case the autost hears farmer re-
turning from town on Saturday night utter
ing whoops and bouncing his endgate in
such a manner that it can be heard mile
distant, the machine shall be turned and
sent over the back track at full speed
until the driver passes a house where
bare-armed lady carrying a club is hang
ing the front gate. looking down the
road toward town.
When a wagon Is sighted ahead the
autost will stop his machine a half mile
distant. approach with cigars. bottle and
a white flag. and in case the man on the
seat remains cold. the autoist will signal
the driver. who shall approach with
hand painted mirror for the wife and toys
for the children, and in the event that none
of these avail. the autoist shall return to
the machine and start ahead at full speed
and tilt and kill as many of the contents of
the wagon as is consistent with the horse
power of the machine.
The touring machines shall change color
with the vegetation, according to the sea-
son. in order that they may be rendered as
1nconspicuous as possible. During April
and May they shall be green. to match the
grass: in June they shall be golden. to
match the wheat: in July and August they
shall be pale gray, to match the dust that
covers everything in the country: in Sep
TENDER they shall be green again to match
the corn, in October they shall be red 10
match the SumaC. in November they shall
be yellow. to match the pumpkin. and in
December white. to match the snow.
The reading of the amendments was pune
tuated with outlaws from all parts of the
chamber. and when they Were put. 1t is
stated they were carried with roar. At
this point Speaker Shurtleff thought the fun
amendments lost.
BE courteous to the policeman. He may
Yet you go if you do not denounce him,
Is the advice given its members by the Au-
tomobile Club of America. DO not admit
anything. but. if the officer determines
to make an arrest ask him to show you
the place and distance where he timed you.
and also ask to his stop WATCH con-
tinues the circular. His measurements
may be wrong. and it may have been inn
possible for him to have clearly seen the
course which he claims timed. Take
note of all circumstances surrounding the
arrest. that you can properly defend
your case"
Manufacturers who have entered all of
the big road racing events in Europe and
America this year have been Obliged to
build three distinct machines to meet with
the widely differing natur of regulations,
at total cost. embracing construction.
racing and advertising. of approximately
SiG2CCO
Running out of gasoline eight miles from
the nearest supply, DR.. A. D. Hard of
Marshall Mimi. says he worked his think
tank pretty hard for half an hour and
mixed four ounces of ether from his medi-
cine case with one quart of kerosene oil
from a farmers lamp. The machine ran
home like a breeze.