The semi-weekly messenger., 1907-10-15


castle over 1t = shouted Mr.. Bowser as
his face got very red. "Of course be
didn't want to borrow any money. He
was simply interested from a profes-
sional standpoint"
And he knows as much about It as
our old cat Every day or two you see
an article in the papers about what to
eat and how TO eat it and when and
how long to sleep and a lot of other
nonsense. One doctor says we must
chew our meat very fine. Another says
to bolt 1t down I'm hunks. One says
look out for sweets, and another says
eat half pound Of candy per day.
One says that white bread contains no
nutriment, and another declares It the
very germ of wheat When have they
experimental, On whom? One doctor
wholesome. Another says they should
be prepared for the table in no other
way You have lived for almost fafeE
years in this fapdoodle way, as you
call it, and don't see how your health
could be any better. You are as stroAR
as an OK, and if you would only Ice
these fads alone you might live to be
800 years old instead of 100 What
makes you let men stuff you with such
ideas?"
Mr.. Bowser had kept his eyes on her
as she spoke. His face had flushed
from red to white and back again half
a dozen times.
"Stuff me. Stuff Bowser!" he al
most yelled when she had finished
"Mrs. Bowser, the man does not live
who can stuff me. He never has lived
and never will. To hear you talk, one
would think l was a six-year-old kid
who didn't know enough to get out Of
the way of a street car. Discussion is
useless, however. You are never in
sympathy with any of my ideas. I will
go my way about this matter, and you
can go yours. Stuff mel Stuff me!'
Resents Her Sarcasm.
That ended it. Mr.. Bowser was dy-
ing for a smoke, but he couldn't go
back on his ancestors. When they
hankered for anything they went out
and dug roots. After he had wandered
~ AIo uOWu IOI al
hour he went over to the drug store
and asked for some licorice root
whats up now" queried the drug
gist.
1--WE stopped smoking
"Glad to hear it. I've thought for
the last year that your brain is more
or less affected
~ of 10
dies in the store Mr. Bowser would
have called the druggist liar. AS it
was, he had to bottle up his wrath.
He hadn't gone ten feet from the door
when he met his family butcher and
halted him to say:
Smith. didn't the ancients used to
eat their meat raw before they found
a way to cook it?'
81 guess they did"
"And wasn't that why they were so
strong and healthy?"
Il presume il was. Shall send you
over neck piece from an old bull to
chew on? After devouring it you may
be able to pull up telegraph pole"
Concealed His Feelings.
Mr.. Bowser got home mad. but he
concealed his feelings from Mrs. Bow
ser and chewed away at his supply Of
root. When 10 o'clock came he went
upstairs and took a quilt off his bed
and passed out into the back yard
without a word to her. The dewy
grass awaited him, but there were
cats around and the night was dark as
he felt himself wishing that his an
cestors had slept on hair mattresses
AS he lay down and stretched out and
the dew of heaven glistened on his
bald pate his vitals yearned for fried
Maryland chicken and corn fritters. He
thought Of coffee and chocolate. He
knew that his ancestors had none Of
those things, and he began to have
contempt for them.
The professor hadn't asked to bor-
row $5 of him, and he had told Mrs.
Bowser no lie. It was ten that the man
got, and the. lender now wished he had
up his mind to change back and eat a
hearty breakfast in the morning when
he fell asleep. He didn't get to sleep
as soon as one of his ancestors would
have done, but he did we'll for the first
time. He had slept and dreamed and
hungered and hankered for an hour
when there was a fash of lightning, a
peal of thunder, and the rain descend
ed In perfect cloudburst. Three min
utes later a limp and bedraggled form
entered the family bedroom, where
Mrs. Bowser sat reading and waiting.
"Our ancestors laid out in the rain
and got soaked. an6 that toughened
them" she remarked.
On our ancestorsr' was his vigor-
GUS reply as he began to peel OF his
wet garments to get into bed.
M. QUAD.
Worry.