The Washington herald., 1907-03-08
Again Concerning Grapefruit.


/ Far be it from US to unnecessarily pro-
/ long 4 discussion which seems likely 70
/ drive some Of our contemporaries to a
/ frenzy We did not start the controversy
about the plural of grapefruit. The Nor
folk Landmark started it. but, forsooth,
/ because we happened 10 venture COM
ment on a question at once so weighty
and so trite. the whole pack sets savagely
upon us and hens and haws. and insin-
yates, suggests. and otherwise seeks TO
embarrass US and make merry over our
thoughtful contribution 20 the matter in
hand.
once and for all. therefore. we hurl the
answer slap in the faces Of these Doubt
ing Thomases. OF mollycoddles. OF what
ever they are. We have not sought TO
bring this humiliation upon them. It has
been darkly limited by some that we did
not know the answer. and were only play
ing for time, hoping against hope that
some Of them would give the same way
We have had our opinion about the mat
ter for quite a while. We have merely
delayed because we wished 10 show be-
coming modesty, and out Of due and
high respect for our more aged and veneer
able contemporaries. The plural Of grape
fruit is
But. before proceeding further with this
matter. We desire 10 deny the mean sug-
gestion of the Rochester Herald 10 the e.
feet that We are interested in a grape
( fruit combine. and are merely seeking 10
boom and advertise that particular vege-
table for our own selfish and sinister pur-
poses Nothing is further from the truth.
We have had in our time some more or
less embarrassing connection with lemons,
but our broad and untarnished escutcheon
is free from grapefruit stains. Having
disposed of this highly cOlored canard,
We pass on to the graver phases Of the
subject. Scholars and all really well read
and intelligent people agree that the plu-
raj Of grapefruit is
However, before driving home the last
screw IN the coffin wherein we shall bury
this pestiferous question forever and a
day. we pause to demonstrate. not un-
kindly. but with becoming dignity, We
trust, with the Atlanta Georgian and the
Houston Post. both Of which have sought
in most unparliamentaTy and ridiculous
manner to shatter that high and sturdy
renOWu for observation-disclosures for which we
are so justly famed throughout the land.
These papers have, deliberately. premcd-
itatedly. cruelty, and with malice afore-
thought. combined and cOnspired to prove
our dabbling in such problems sign Of
latent exaggerated ego and brain storm.
This was the most unkindcst cut Of all
We might have bcrne the ordinary sings
and arrows Of outrageous fortune and
never bat an eye. but 10 be thus maIigned
in the household of our friends moves
Us 10 tears and we fain would away 10
The woods and weep, More then. in soT-
row than in anger, we confess that the
plural of grapefruit is
Well, suppose you were going along the
street and saw a stand wherein were ar
ranged several OF the articles I'm question.
Would there be anything singular in that?
We opine not. Is there, in fact and i'm
truth, anything singular about grapefruit
We doubt that such an idea has ever
occurred to you. If, then, there is moth
ing singular about il, it must be all plu-
raj. Ergo, the plural Of grapefruit is
era pefruit. Thus. esteemed contempOra-
ries. are you hoist by your own petard.
and by your unthiuking and uureasonIug
persistence You have waded up to another
and stTI more perpleXing problem: What
is the singular Of grapefruit?