The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1907-09-27

ARatiIesnakes 01 Toast Was
The Cowboys Order
But HE Met WITH Hls MATCH

NNN 'NNHtNfFHNN NHNN HNA"NN HANH
Tough Waiter Served the Dish Took
the Torror'a Nerve Away-The Re.
past and the Final Request.
Away back IN 1876 a man named
Turpln established a restaurant In
Yuma. and among Turpin's original
employees was a waiter named Job
Straight, who could shoot with great
precision, play draw poker with IN
varying success and pack eighteen
plates OF miscellaneous grub upon one
bare arm at one time. He could exc
cute all the prevailing melodies either
on piano or guitar, and be possessed
the most tremendous baritone voice
ever heard In Arizona. Why, men some
times went to Turpin's just to hear Joe
deliver gastronomic orders No per
feet description can be given Of that
voice. however, except to say that at
times It really did make things clatter
Once a fresh young cowboy from
near ella Bend entered Turpln's for a
Christmas dinner who took startling
concoction as an appetizer and then
dropped thud-Iike ata table and rough.
" shouted to Straight:
"say, there, Baldyl Bring me some
grubF
Job was at first appalled,; but, recov-
ering his reserve limit Of equanimity.
be brushed an imaginary breadcrumb
from the frescoed tablscloth and
whisked bill Of fare from the yarIe-
gated castor and placed It before the
new young terror Of the Bend.
'Take 1t awayF' cried the latter IN
tones that could give straight's ordi-
nary, everyday baritone q castle and
checkmate 1t in Ave moves II don't
want to read your darned old tract.
/ don't care darn who came into the
world to save sinners. Bring me some
grub-g-r-u-bl Grub Grub GrubV
what do you wantf"
"Rattlesnakes on toastl And I want
you to hump yourselfg'
whats that7"
"I've given my order, you baldheaded
old cigar store sign, and want you to
get move on yourself, p. d. q. Rattle
snakes on toastp'
"Rattlesnakes on toastT' cried Job to
the cook In accents that would have
paralyzed Carl Formes had that old
basgo profundo been living and heard
them.
eRattlesnakes- on toastr' was the re-
vsrberating response from the cook
upon receiving the order
There were dozen or more people in
the restaurant, and their eyes were at
once turned on the young person from
the Bend and the infurIated waiter
In the meantime the cook had taken
q big catfish and cut II into four strips
and rolled these strips IN batter, 50
that they much resembled the Wand or
dered, and after placing them IN the
\ trying pan he stuck his head out Of the
kitchen and shouted to Job:
''You want them rattlers rare or well
donefv
The waiter repeated the lnterrogatory
In a cyclonic way, and the terror re-
piled in as violent tone and manner
as be could command, well done. with
plenty Of gravy and Chilli Colorado"
And then Job thundered to the cook
"Well done, with plenty Of Chill Colo
rado, hot as -, and moccasin gravy
on the side and brochettes Of sand
crane livers and ella monster lightsw
There was an instantaneously dead
silence In that restaurant, and all eyes
were again east upon the terror and
the waiter The former turned asher
pale and began to weaken perceptibly
while Job gazed at his victim.
Maybe you don't think we can serve
AL the market affords" muttered Job
Maybe you don't like moecasin gravy
or brochettes q Ia mode Maybe yot
amt hungry
"Sayl You've got mel amt hungry
30 help me- / couldn't eat single hare
boiled egg. Countermand that durnet
order, old man. and III pay all ex
penses and set EN- up as long as any
body can drink. Beg pardon, gentle
men, all My first attempt to be a ter
ror-pardon me. gentlemen. It's m!
lastT'
And then he handed bis revolver {
Job and added:
''Take that pistol old man, as
present and promise me that the mex
time any burned fool comes In her
and calls for rattlesnakes on toas
you'll shoot him deadw
But Straight was too raylng mad a
the way through to willingly emerg
from situation only toIerably tr
umphant. so he took the weapon jus
as the order was being placed on tn
table and, pointing It at the terro
exclaimed:
Nov, then, my boy, dump yourse
into that chair and eat them snakes
bones. skin and allw
the young fellow did as he was con
manded, but utter finishing his repal
/, staggered the uncompromising Job b
shouting
Il say, BaIdy, bring me an0th,