davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-11-16
Not More thau You Know.

1T Is a rule. to which good lawyers
usually adhere" says a Philadelphia at
torney. never 20 tell more than one
knows. There Was an instance IN England
not many years ago wherein a lawyer
carried the rule 20 the extreme one OF
the agents IN a midland revision court
objected to a person whose name was on
the register on the ground that he was
dead The revision attorney declined 10
accept the assurance. however. and de-
manded conclusive testimony on the point
The agent on the other side arose and
gave cOrrobOrative evidence as 20 the de-
cease OF the man In question. But. sir
how DO you know the mans deadT de-
manded the barrister. Well was the
reply, I don't know. rs very difficult
20 prove. AS suspected returned the
barrister. You don't know whether he's
dead or not Whereupon the witness
COolly continued: 7 was saying. sir. that
7 don't know whether he is dead or not:
hut I do know this. they buried him
about a month ago on suspicion
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-11-16
PERSONAL.

AnacOstia-Cannot say definitely.
Privately. don't see how he can es-
cape. if the dear people call loud
enough.
BgEnits.-rt does seem poor pol
icy To allow any Democrat TO occupy
two chairs at the banquet. Ask him
for one
Col. Richard Lindsey. 90 kindly
como to Office Of The Big stick and
get letters touching upon the Web
Davis controversy.
Thilmsn Wheeler.-Yes. Floating
Florenee" was one of the six best
sellers The autograph edition was
limited 20 fifty. Sorry.
ReadeT.-Scrutinize these columns
line by line and you won't find a
mothers son of them mentioned
What's your Crouch against news
paper correspondents anyway
Weary.-You're right. The whole
towns disguised. It's a crying
shame. May be Chancellor: Gay bs
Oyster. may be the whole bunch.
Don't know. Yes. the schools are
suffering undoubtedly. President win
likely act soon.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-11-16

rights Of the citizen as against the gov
eminent. courts have been provided, with
authority to nulllfy any attempt TO de-
stroy those rights. Appeal 70 these
courts, however, the rulers OF Alabama
would deny, and they have devised means
believed to be effective TO prevent APP
peal.
II we have correctly apprehended the
tendency and purpose OF Gov. Corners
new railroad legislation, II must be con-
sidered absolutist rather than cOnstitu-
tional in its nature. IL has been sought
in this legislation not only 20 prevent
railroads from appealing TO the courts, but
also 20 punish them for having hereto
fore sought the protection Of the judi
ciary. Lower rates and more drastic
regulations are imposed upon a railroad
which exercised its constitutional right
20 a day in court than upon pne which
accepted, under cOmpulsion, the condi-
tons on which 1t would be permitted 10
dc business. Legislation of this unjust
and vindictive character may be intended
TO apply 10 railroad corporations alone,
but there is no reason why legislation
equally unjust and vindictive may not be
enforced against other classes Of citi-
zens. if the constitutional method OF
vitalizing constitutional guarantees once
be cast aside. That way lies the des-
potism of the multitude and the end OF
constitutional government
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-11-16

Ask Uncle Dan Fraser 10 show
y0l Beuyman's cartoon de luxe
Dan J. Callahan. IT., IS the Pat
rick Henry Of the Washington Board
o. Trade.
r. y. Harper entertained a large
party Of friends al the Raleigh Tues
day night.
7. Chase Knox. Of Penn. was lin
ing EN- ont on the Chevy Chase golf
links yesterday
Ca~N '-arment got under the
wire His, ~ that Board Of Trade
race. Congratulations!
Griffin Hslstesd and George How
ard NO u pulled or an automobile
deal Monday. Impromptu
Ralph Lee j. right in the midst Of
the humming life Of this ambitious
community. May his tribe multiply!
Charles J. Bell is stin able %
smile and look pleasant when the
Chamber Of Commerce building
project is mentioned.
Walter A. Brown. who proved a
Vote-getter from way back in re-
cent contest. no'g has lame arm
as the result Of friendly handshakes.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-11-16
Where Mr.. Bryan Stands

Mr. Bryan's willingness to accept the
Democratic nomination for the Presi-
dency has been taken for granted for
some time past. His statement however
clears up several points as to which
there has been more or less misappre-
srrSion- In the first place. it leaves the
way open to the Democratic party to
nominate another candidate without in
curing the enmity of the Bryan Democ-
racy. In the second. II disposes Of the
notion that Mr.. Bryan would not make
the race against Mr.. Roosevelt. He is
willing to make il even as a forlorn hone
Tor the party must. as he says. put up
the best fight il can, whether the pros
poets be cheerful or gloomy. Finally.
the statement makes it plain. though this
has been anticipated. that If Mr.. BRYAN
accepts another nomination. he will in
sist that the campaign be conducted with
out the aid Of interests expecting reward
in government favors.
We presume Mr.. Bryan has some men
tai reservations upon the question Of his
OWN support OF another candidate than
himself He says that he will not be
disappointed or disgruntled If the choice
should fan upon some one else. but OBJ
viously he would be disappointed and
perhaps disgruntled. too, II the choice
should fall. by any chance. upon a states
man Of the reactionary brand. As this
chance seems rather remote. in the pres
ent state Of the public mind. we think
II fair to assume that the Democratic
lists are open to All corners. and that Mr..
Bryan means what he says when. I'm ef-
feet. he asks his party 10 make choice
between himself and all other available
candidates. There is more than one
Democrat of national eminence whose
nomination would Unquestionably receive
Mr. Bryan's cordial support. The mayor
Of Cleveland. for example. or Gov John
son. Of Minnesota. or mayhap some one
relatively unknown at the moment. who
may be brought into prominence by
events occurring between now and the
assemblage Of the national convention.
The Democratic party has no more reason
than the Republican 10 sit down and be-
wall its fate as a one-candidate party.
II the Democrats want a new standard
bearer. they have but to say so. That is
the substance Of MIR. Bryan's message
10 them.
The rank and file OF the Democracy.
however. to which Mr. Bryan appeals as
arbiter Of the party's platform and can
didate, IS composed mainly Of Bryan men
Nowhere can be deserted popular move
ment fO- the candidacy Of any one else.
Mr.. Bryan is universally recognized, even
by his opponents. as the logical candi-
date OF Democracy up TO date Unless
the mind OF Democracy wanders TO other
issues than those which now obsess the
country. unless some new emergency
arises which Mr.. Bryan may be unequal
20 meet. we look to one more Presiden-
tIaI campaign with Mr.. Bryan leading his
party.
And we expect to see a political battle
royal-no one-sided affair. but contest
that win call forth the strongest and
best efforts of the Republican party.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-11-16
NOTES BY YE LOCAL SCRIBE
Laid in your winter coal YETI

Laid in your winter coal yetl
Wills J. Abbot continues to spread
the gospel Of truth broadcast through
this blessed land.
Why don't our city fathers an up
that chuckhole on X 81. near 18th.
We'd like % know.
Roosevelt won't run again We got
this tip dead straight at the New
Willard Monday night
Skatesi =. V De GraW got 10 his
desk five minutes late Friday, be
cause one Of them came OF.
Wll Guide Is a second-ClcctiVe
temer: a third and fourth termer e.
al when it comes N directories
Young DR.. Edward Bedloe. versa
tic ElObe-trUtter. called al our sane
tum Tuesday night Call again, Doc.
II the streets Of this fair Capital
are not better cleaned soon. some
hoGy'S likely 10 hear something drop.
The Hon. Brainard II. Warner has
r1thlessly severed all local Connec-
tions and is now a full-fedged Mary
lander.
joyful, smiling, level-headed Ed
ward II. DrOop IS one OF the cor
daily nailed recruits 20 The Wssh-
ington =. II T.
To Joseph Weeks Bahcock: One OF
Your good friends phones Us that
you have done your share toward
wiping il OF the face Of the earth
Talk with John Boyle OF W. j.
Dryer FIVE minutes and you Will be
convinced that Mr.. Bryan is going
to be our next President.
Il is not true that the designation
Of the Hon. Herbert Parsons az "a
snOrt-ciroited statesman" was first
used 40 the White Hcuse.
With the approach OF Congress,
Col. james 5. Henry is whOOping II
up for tariff reform with old-time
vigor, persistency, and consistency.
Adds B. Browne objects 70 being
termed a reactionary. even # he did
stand pat with Cuno II. Rudolph 20
ahr0gate that Board Of Trade by
law.
L. White Busbey canceisd his sub
scrptiOn 10 The Big Stick because
we didn't mention him last week.
How shortsighted! He'll buy It Just
the same.
Chaplin Brown asks Us 10 announce
that all candidates for delegate 10
the Republican National Convention
from the u. c. are requested TO reg
lister without further delay.
The Wallraf. a modern and ma
jestic apartment house, named in
honor Of our husuing fellow-toWns-
man. Charles f.. VIII rise on one Of
our fashionable bouleTa75s when
things set bit easier.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-11-16
EVERY SATURDAY
Our Motto: If you see j, in The Big
Stuck. it isn'tso.
CANNON AND HUGHES
O'Dismsn Swa; Impsrts Secret
to The Big Stick.
just from the White House. He Gives
Out a Presidential Prophscy.

A distinguished citizen o! the En-
pire State. Mr.. O'Digman Swat. who
lives a few miles oat from Science
tady. called at this sanctum yester-
dar.
4 have just come from the White
House" said Mr.. Swat. and am
not privileged 70 disclose 20 you all
/ know. But / wish % make a
prophecy through your valuable me
dium."
The Big Stick grests you. Mr..
O'Swat."
As 7 said. 1 have Just come from
the White House. The political at
mosphere is surcharpsd- People who
say that Mr.. Roosevelt will run
again are doing him a grave injus-
tice-an injustice. sir. He viii keep
faith with his countrymen. I know
whereof ! speak
You are quite sure. Mr.. O'SwasY'
Swat. sir. not O'Swat have
Just come from the White House
The President. ] repeat. is not a
candidate. He viii be put in no
false position. He Is serving his sec
ond term. He regards IL as such.
He respects the precedent estab-
nshed by the immortal Washing
ton"
And he refuses to serve the
people four years moreF'
Mr.. Roosevelt is . patriot. sir.
have just come from the White
House. No such contingency as you
suggest win arise he viii not per
nit it. Politicians cannot fool him.
Away with the doctrine that he is
the only statesman available for this
emergency"
But the masses seem to think
h is"
Sir. do ! not know whereof
speak? I have Just come from the
White House. The Presidents mind
is unchanged. He stands by his dec.
laration Of November. 1906
Your prophecy. Mr.. Swatl"
II Is this. sir: have. as l said.
Just come from The White House.
whittier ] repaired TO convince my
self Of the soundness Of ny prem
ises. They are sound perfectly
sound. Mr.. Roosevelt Is eliminated.
He is out Of II. Being out Of it. the
ticket wiz be Cannon and Hughes.
Il IS inevitable. sir"
You don't mean IL. Mr.. Swatl"
Mean 1t. sir Mean it, ! mean
every word Of it. Mark well what
say-Cannon and Hughes-Cannon,
Of Illinois. and Hughes, Of New
York. sir.
But viii Hughes accept"
Accept? He cannot help Il He
viii be poTCrlcss. Eir-pOWerless. Did
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-11-16
A sLANDERER ABRoADI

Some envious and miserable foe
TAT this writing unidentified. for
the obvious purpose Of checking the
growing popularity Of The Big STICK.
is maliciously circulating a falsely
mischieTOus and slanderously dam
aging report that the price Of this
universally read and highly esteemed
organ Of the masses has gone up %
5 cents. This ugly work has got to
stop. We have no patience with the
creature who would sto0p to it. and
viii show him no mercy. He had
better Iced this warning.
The price Of The Big stick re
mains the same-l cent-and the
plotting Auanias now at large in
our midst belongs behind the bars
or in a padded cell. and he'll land
there soon, If he don't watch out.
Read BingT1lle Bugle tomorrow.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-11-16

I not tell you tharI gust came from
the White H0uses Need ] say
m0reYT
But. NJ. Swat. did the Presi-
dent tel you this?'
4 shall not be catechised. sir. Far
be It from me 20 disclose all
know. I respect condolences. Have I
not told you that l speak sdusedly?
Is IL not enough"
Your assurance carries conviction.
Mr.. Swat. but The Big Stick. a con
sentative molder q public opinion.
IN printing your prophecy. must in
siSt-TespeCtfullv Insist-upon fuller
confidential information. Did you
see the Presidentg'
Mr.. Roosevelt is a busy man-a
busy man. sir. He was engsged-ea-
gagged with Mr. Bryce, Mr.. Garfield,
and Mr.. PlnchOt-some sort OF con
ference on the lawn. sir-solYing
problems Of state. no doubt. in the
bright light of day and enjoying the
brisk and rejuVenating November air
A ROOsCveltian Characteristic. sir
Rooseyeltian through and through -
ard you did not see himT'
Il cid not. cir. I had not the
temerity 20 interrupt him. But
saw his secretary - his confidential
man and adviser. sir: Mr.. Loeb. vino
comes from my State.
He gave you the information you
thus impartY'
Not all q It. but he confirmed
my. premises. sir; confirmed them
promptly. Mr.. Roosevelt has not
changed his mind. He adheres 70
his declaration. He is not a candi-
date-not a candidate. sir"
But Of Cannon and Hughesg"
"Of the ticket. sir. I cannot fur
ther speak Print my prophecy.
Time viii tell. Am I not just from
the White House! Watch the polit-
ieal pendulum. Watch it closely. 1
bid You good day. sir, and with
draw.
And 60 saying. Mr.. O'Dixran
Swat just from the White House.
stopped at the counter TO renew his
subscription 20 The Big Stick. and
hurried out New York avenue TO
catch a train for Schenectady.
Mr.. O'D1man Swat may be wrong.
II wrong. IL isn't The Big Sticks
fault. II discla!ms responsibility for
HIM Disciplinary action ia not its
due. L0EB'S TO BLAME.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-11-16
Can Roosevelt Do Less.

From the C0mmoner.
IF the members OF the party believe
that Mr.. Bryan's nomination viii help
the party, its principles. and Its pol
icies, he will accept the nomination.
whether the indications point TO defeat
or victory. A defeat can bring no dis
grace where the cause Is a Just one.
but cowardice would be disgraceful, es-
pecially IN one who is as deeply indebted
70 his party rs Mr.. BRYAN IS,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-11-16
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
NICE NAMES.


'Twere easy quite
A rhyme TO write,
Or so ] ween.
When you've a flame
With such a name
AS Geraldine.
'Twere not so hard
To be a bard
And poems spin,
In case your own
True love IS known
AS Ethelwyn.
But. All. alas.
1t comes to pass
Such handles sweet
Throughout the strife
or real life
We seldom meet.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-11-16
SOME REAL REGULATION.
Gas Companies Combined, hut May
Not Increase capitalization.

Prom the Springfield Republican.
Those Hughes commissions for the regu-
lation of public service corporations in
New York State are really regulating
them. and novel IS the situation 10 the
latter. The Lockport Gas and Electric
Light Company asked permission 20 con
solidate two competing concerns. and this
was granted on the ground that the main
tenauce Of more than one plant was IN
necessary and wasteful and expensive 10
the community, This was pleasing 10 the
said company, but not so a requirement
that the consolidated concern should not
raise rates except by. consent OF the COM
mission; and even more dlstasteful was
the prohibition placed upon the purpose
Of the consolidating companies 10 increase
the combined capitalization above what IL
had been. Such an invasion OF the old
time liberty 10 exploit and manipulate
public service franchises must be regard
ed as perfectly sCandalous by a certain
class Of New York financiers.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-11-16
MEN AND THINGS.
waterloo In the Lead.

1t Is curious to observe how much more
popular Waterloo has been than Trafalgar
as modern place-name. says the Lon
don Chronicle. There Is a Waterloo IN
Hampshire and another In Lancashire;
twenty-foUr Waterloos are scattered all
over the United States, from New York
State to Oregon; two IN Canada, three
in Australia, and one in Sierra Leone
Against this array Trafalgar seems able
20 show only a volcano in British New
Guinea, and one town IN Indiana State
which Is decidedly remote from the sea.
The reasons for the display may be that
many more veterans Of Waterloo than OF
Trafalgar enigrated 20 make homes IN
the New World and also that the deci-
sive character Of Waterloo was far more
generally recognized at the time than that
of Tranfalgar was before the principle
OF sea power was fully understood.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-11-16
Real Reciprocity.

from me TlIIadeInhia Eec1rl-
The negotiations between Washington
and Paris over a few reciprocal tips in
trade are little more than the efforts or
one protectionist government 10 outwit
the other If they would both revise
their Sarins with due regard to the in
terests Of their own people there would
be no need for these negotiations.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-11-16
What Value Is.

Prom the Wan Street Journal
James NJ. Beck gives the following
definition Value is a state Of mind" In
other words. a thing is worth what
consensus Of opinion thinks it is worth
That consensus Of opinion can only be
arrived at In a free market.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-11-16
TO THE LADIES.

If your name is not on the invita-
ton list for the Gridiron Clubs
lGdies' dinner. for which elaborate
preparations are under way. please
write Al once to Louis GGrthe. chair
man invitation committee. 14l0 Penn.
ave. nv. He desires that none he
overlooked IL
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-11-16

That silly story about Gen. Grant hav-
ing rendered his services to the Con-
federacy before enlistIng IN the Union
cause has had one good effect anyhow;
IL has shown that the sections are able
TO discuss such a suggestion in perfect
good temper and fairness.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-11-16

EVERYBODY thought all the Rough Rid
ers had been provided for until the list
of Presidential appointments was pub
lshcd." says the Columbia State. Mis-
take; everybody long ago ceased trying
10 conceive such a thought as "au the
Rough Riders.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-11-16

Ex-senator Carmack declared IN an ad-
dress at Atlanta that President Roose-
welt is the biggest fake in the world
Is it possible that ne has forgotten Bob
Taylor" asks the Jackson (MissD News
The new Senator from Tennessee is the
last man in that state the former Sena-
tor would designate a fake"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-11-16

for all nature takers who come under the
notice OF the White House. Possibly there
is another way, but we doubt it. Mr.
service 70 Mr.. w. Loeb. jr. and this may
have a softening effect on the last-named
gentlemans chief; but we would NOT
undertake 20 make a positive statement to
that effect. We prefer TO quote again
from Mr.. Hough's article, and let our
readers judge for themselves. After as
sorting that he never met wild animal
which gave me any shivers AT ALL" he
notes two exceptions. The first OF these
was a girl, and Mr.. Hough tells OF the
second thus:
The other animal that scared me was a rabbit.
had taken down the family shotgun from the
mortal bearings in the old wainsooted hall. and
projecting around haze-hrush patch--Wrapped in
thought. / don't doubt about the Girl. All at
once. ! Glanced to look ND. I saw. sitting at
the sdse Of the brush. about five feet from me.
CTouched In the attitude Of attack. with staring
eyes looking straight into mine precisely like those
% the ynN in tho magazine this feroSous creature,
with its cars laid back tight TO its head and every
muscle q its tense form strained as though about
70 spring Il did spring too. although il did not
land on me"
Obviously. Mr.. Hough knows OF the in
credulity with which some Of the annals
OF the Loeb League have been received.
and takes this method OF defending that
organization and It's head. UnQuestion-
ably. this will be appreciated by the
leaguers. but time alone can tell II il viii
save the author from being roped. thrown,
and branded as nature faker in the
orthodox manner. He Is bold man, any
way. who viii indulge in nature writing
in these days. when only John Burroughs
and Casper Whitney of all the cult stand
on ground that Is other than precarious.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-11-16

Say. Pelog,' declared the county edi-
tor. 4 can't print this hailstone and hen
egg story Of yours unless you leave a
few for a sample"
''Haistones?"
NO; hen eggs"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-11-16

F-om the Richmond TimesDispaich
When Mr.. Taft returns from the Orient
and politely asks Mr.. Roosevelt what has
become Of certain article ne left In the
Presidents keeping, we gravely fear that
poor Loeb VIII be in for il again.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-11-16
4 RInin Man

Have you coat that would Mt my
monkey"
Cant say that I have"
You don't seem 20 care particularly
for my pets custom"
NO; 1 don't want any monkey bust
ness
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-11-16

An Aurora ND gentleman who has
lived exclusively on peanuts for the past
three months says &c has been worth
$4,000 20 him. This represents the
amount he has saved on beefsteak and
pork chops no doubt
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-11-16
omitted ConrrntuIations.

From the Rochester Herald
Neither did the President write letter
OF congratuIatior 10 Senator SmOOt on
his magnificent failure in Salt Lake City
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-11-16

'Mydederma" is what the doctors call
this new-fangled disease that IS caused
from handling large quantities Of paper
money. Wouldn't it flatter you To have
your physician tell you you We're suffer
ing from an acute attack Of hyde
dernsa?"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-11-16
Safe Currency.

From the Chicago Tribune.
a new and dangerous SO counterfeit
national bank note is in circulation In
sist on getting your money in clearing
house checks
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-11-16

Or. Alfred L. Cole. an Illinois scien-
fist, says man has been undergoing
process Of evolution for 100000 years
On the whole. we suppose man IS 10 be
congratulated for not having done worse
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-11-16
After the Battle

The politician may now take his ear
from the ground"
so may the football player. Il he cares
TO keep il as a relic"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-11-16

a bee must take the nectar from 5000
flowers TO make one pound Of honey;
this means 100000 trips from the hive
to the flowers. Considering the price of
honey bee labor is too cheap says
scientist. II the bees want 10 avoid
getting stung in the future they should
unionize themselves, adopt new scale Of
wages. and demand shorter hours
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-11-16

The price OF fresh" eggs in New York
now IS 50 cents per dozen. And by fresh
eggs. be IL understood. is meant anything
that hasn't been In cold storage more
than two Vears.