The National tribune., 1907-08-08

who re-enlist. the purpose ultimately
beng 20 have cooks. bakers and COM
missary stewards hold diplomas of the
school. The course is TO include in
structions in cooking and baking, with
the practical work afforded by the con-
duct of the large general mess at the
Naval Training Station.
Some amusing replies are received by
the Government officials who are en-
gagged in collecting data for the new
official register, familiarly known rs the
Blue Book" One of the queries pro-
pounded to ofliceholders is: What are
your marital relations?" The answer
should be either married" single or
widowed"
An officer who is charged with the
task of sending out these questions re-
ceivcd two notable replies recently. The
first reply WAS. MY marital relations
are very unsatisfactory" Another toiler
in one of the Departments Of Uncle Sam
filled out his biaiIn as follows:
Question. What are your marital re-
lations?"
Answer. They are HE'LL
The street peddler was shouting eva.
termelons!" up at ,he second-story Win
dow when a woman thrust out her head
and asked:
How much?"
Fifty cents ma'am.''
And warranted ripe?'
mo. / can't warrant 'em. / have to
buy 'em by the hundred. and they won't
warrant them to me. Sold over a hun
dred yesterday and not a kick. Ninety
nine chances out of hundred that the
melon You buy is luscious red-core
that will melt in your mouth. Have
One?"
'Noap. Not without you warrant 1t. >
That's the one thing lacking in hui
man nature" said the peddler, as he
turned away, "the want of confidence in
the watermelon. People will take your
word for potatoes in a bag, for corn in
the husk and for cucumbers that you
are going to bring in tomorrow. They
will send their money off for consump-
ton cures and liver medicine-takc Il
saleSman's word about clothing. walk
into the traps of a hundred swindlers
every day in the week, but when it
comes down to the watermelon You
must warrant it ripe or no sale. l am
only a common man, sir, and don't pre-
tend to understad anything beyond this
work. but if you want my opinion / will
say that l believe until the American
people come TO take the watermelon as
1t is, ripe or green, we shall stand still
in our civilization. Yes. sir, and get
along, You cid hOss, or I'll cut the hide
off ye,''
A loving wife's alleged impossible
ideal of her iilustrious husband is re-
sponsible for a $4,000 suit which John
Quincy Adams Ward. the sculptor, has
authorized his lawyers to bring.
Mr.. Ward is famous thruout the
country for his lifelike statues of prom
inent men. but he has found it impos-
Si N he nf Coz
Philip Sheridan which Mrs. Sheridan
seems to have. As a result of Mrs.
Sheridan'S objections Congressional
Commission rejected Mr.. Wards model
for an equestrian statue of the General.
The sculptor knows that his model
delighted artists ana scores of Army
officers who knew Gen. Sheridan init,
mately, and he feels that no artist could
conscientiouly produce the ideal figure
that fills Mrs. Sheridan's mind. as she
recalls her warrior husband. He con-
sequently brings suit for the amount he
was to have received for the statue
upon which he worked for nearly Is
years, feeling that he is not only en-
titled to the money, but that it is also
due his reputation as a sculptor to
prove thru the suit that the statue de-
signed by him is worthy of acceptance.
Mrs. Sheridan has a great many pc
culiarities, among them being one which
causes more or less trouble on Memo
rial Day. 1t is a fancy of hers that only
the flowers that she places there her
self shall be put on the grave of Gen
Sheridan. On Memorial Day a great
many handsome floral tributes are
placed upon the grave. and it was her
wont to take these off and lay them
on the grass at the foot of the grave or
against the head on the side, permitting
only her own Offering to rest on the
mound of green. l believe that she has
not held closely to that the last year or
two, and that all emblemS presented
are now permitted to lie upon the grave.
If the existing orders of the War De-
partment remain in force, and should
the United States engage in another
war, our National cemeteries viii have
no more tombs of the unknown dead.
such as the historic one at Arlington.
Va
While "war is hell,' as Sherman said,
it is an excellent teacher.
Even in our recent experiences during
the War with Spain and in the insurrec-
ton of the Philippines some died and
were buried as unidentified
TO overcome this state of affairs the
Secretary of War has directed in Cen
eral orders that
size of Il silver half dollar. and of suit
able thickness. stamped with the name,
rank, company, regiment or corps of
the wearer, Will be worn by each officer
and enlisted man of the Army when
ever the field kit Is worn, the tag to be
suspended from the neck, underneath
the clothing, by cord or thong passed
thru a small hole in the tag. 1t is pre-
scribed as part of the uniform, and
when not worn as directed herein will
be habitually kept in the possession of
the owner.
The tag Will be issued by the Quar-
ternaster's Department gratuitously to
enlisted men and at cost price to Off
GERS
The return of Mrs. Whitelaw Reid tn
the United States for the purpose of WIS.,
iting her father, Mr.. d. o. Mills, Cali
fornia forty-niner. who is now well
along in years and VINO is not in the
best of health, has called attention to
the social position which the Reids have
attained during the past year or two
The papers are commenting upon the
fact that Mr.. Whitelaw Reid is well fit
ted for the trying position of American
representative at the Court of st. James
Even before coming TO London he had
become famous by reason of the mag
nificent entertainments which he had
given in Paris and elsewhere. He up
held the splendors of his position when