Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1907-05-22
Local and hsIghborhood News

Local anu Nelg0D0ln00Q news
yinron is doomed. According te
the Benton Co., Times, the birth
rate of the city shows that one-thirc
of the homes are without children
and the balance are sorry for the
noise children make. Too many
lodges, teas, clubs and social func
tions to bother with kids. Win,
throp News.
A Des Moines man is to have the
questionable honor of inventinq OF
originating a new scheme for poster.
ing the much abused mother-in-law
He has obtained from the district
court writ of injunction restrain
ing his particular mother-in-law
from appearing upon his premises.
He considered it worth something
and put up a bond of 5000, and the
judge upon hearing the evidence,
concluded that there would be great
or peace in the family if the mother
in-law staid away, and therefore he
issued his mandate, and it was served
by the high sheriff upon the overly
otficious mother.in-law. We protest
that this is going altogether too far,
and the mother-in- laws of the land
should organize into league and
protest against this abuse Of the writ
of injunction.-Monticello Express.
Bailey of Britt relates recent OK
perience he had as follows: There is
absolutely nothing doing in the lot
OF gush that is being put out by the
daily papers. We read recently of
what proper and heroic thing it is
to go home, kiss your wife, pat her
on the shoulder and tell her that
you love her just as we'll as you did
when she was girl. We tried it
and she said: 20 get out with your
folderol, bring in a hodiof coal and
see if the speckled hen is on the
nest, and why don't you get the eel
lar cleaned out and have the tar
paper taken off the house?" We
were almost discouraged, but
thought we would try again, so we
slipped up behind her, threw our
arm around her neck, gave her a
love tap on the shoulder and pre-
pared to give her nice sweet kiss.
She said: ooh, you make me tired.
Why don't you get shaved and be-
have YOURSELF" By thunder, we
are not going to kiss her any more
unless she signifies a willingness,
yea, a desire for osculatory perform
ance, and expresses it audibly, SO
there, by lingo! There is nothing
in it."
After the lst of July the bar-keep-
ers cannot fill you full of coffin
varnish if you are able to read the
label on the bottle, for all impure
whiskey must be tagged for Just
what it is after that date, according
to the new law recently enacted.
Good whiskey does not require
labelling, and in view of this fact
the bottle containing the low grade
varnish ought to have highly
Illuminated label, one that can be
seen through fog, otherwise the
object of the new law will be de-
feated. The average drinker when
he begins Ito take ON package is
apt to become careless in the read
ing Of the inscription, and unless
his taste is nicely sentative would
undoubtedly be a victim of the in
genious savant behind the bar. We
would suggest that the bar-bottle,
out of which genii-like cometh end.
less grades of booze at certain
stage in a "souse" matinee, be ar.
ranged with an electric winking red
bulls-eye semiphore, against which
glazing warning the party inclined
upon the polished mahogany is
amply protected and proceeds at his
own risk.