davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1907-12-20
COMFORTING WORDS.
Many Florida Household VIII
Find Them So.

To have the pains and aches of bad
back removed; to be entirely free from
annoying, dangerous urinary disorders
is enough to make any kidney sufferer
grateful. To tell how this great change
can be brought about will prove COM
forting words to hundreds of Florida
readers
A. Oerting, seaman, Of 419 L. st. PEN
sacola, Fla, tells how to do it. He
says: "From my experience with
Doan's Kidney Pills l can strongly rec
ommend them to anyone in need of q
good medicine for the kidneys Kidney
complaint and baokache caused me suf-
fering at intervals for years, The first
or second attack did not mind, but as
time went by they grew worse and at
times laid me up. Icould hardly walk
and 1t was a difficult matter to straight
en- after STOPPING, while the kidney Sc
cretlons were irregular and unnatural.
Doan's Kidney Pills cured me. From
personal experience I know that this
remedy can be depended upon to fulfill
the representations made for It,"
For sale by all dealers Price so cents.
Foster-Milburn Co. Buffalo, New York,
sole agents for the United States.
Remember the name-Doan's- sand
take no other.
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1907-12-20
Mr.. AND MRS. DEAN.
The Surprise They Gave a Roomful of
BIackeuards.

The surprise lhey NaVs nooHIuI OF
BIackguards.
In the early part of the nineteenth
century Vauxhall was the resort OF
many respectable persons, especially
Of those who came up from the coun-
try to see London sights. During one
season it was infested by a band of
roughs, who made it their occupation to
insult and modest the most quiet, de
cent people, especially any whom they
guessed to be country visitors. They
became such nuisance that several
men about town, among whom were
Lord Alvanley and Keppel Craven
laid plot to get rid Of them
They hired Mendoza, the famous
prize fighter, and dressed him up as q
dean, with a shovel hat and apron
Another prize fighter, a short man.
was dressed as middle aged lady
and passed as the deans wife, and one
evening they were seated at Vauxhall
in a conspicuous position to watch the
fireworks. 1t was not long before the
old fashioned, countrifed pair attract
ed the attention Of the gang, who as
sailed them with every kind Of coarse
raillery and insult, all of which they
bore very meekly.
At length one Of the prosecutors
growing holder by impunity, stepped
up to the dean and squirted an orange
into his eye. On this the dean, rising
said in a meek, quiet tone, REALLY
gentlemen, l have borne great deal
but must put stop to this" With
that his hat went one way and his
coat another, and, followed by his
"wife," he sprang into the middle Of
the party, hitting out in all directions
Filled with establishment and terror
some fed and some tried to show
fight, but the handling they got from
the prize fighters was too severe fol-
the fracas to last long.
All the time Lord Alvanley and his
friends, who were In the boxes, were
calling out in delight: go 1t, Mr.
Dean! Give 1t 'em, Mrs. Deanw An
effectual stop was thus put to the an
noyance.-London Spectator.
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1907-12-20
DIDN'T ASK ENOUGH.
The Lawyer Should Have Probed His
Witness a Little Deeper.

Witness a Little Deeper.
A small but distinguished company
Of English lawyers sat talking over
old times. Among them was Mr.. s.,
who told the following story:
Il was retained" he said, "by an ex-
soldier to sue for the recovery of f35
which he had lent to friend. The
late Mr.. j. was counsel for the de-
PENDANT. j. cross examined the plain
tiff in his usual forcfble way.
"'You lent him the money? Mr.. j.
asked.
81 did, sir
ait was your own money?
at was, sir
"'When did you lend him the mon
eyY
"In July
"'Where did you get that money,
sir?
81 earned it, sir
"'You earned it, Ell? When did you
earn it?
"During the Boer war, SIR he said
in very humble tone.
you earned 1t during the Boer
war? Pray what was your occupation
during the warp Mr.. j. inquired.
Fighting, sir the man replied mod
estly.
ooh, ightingr Mr.. J. said, some
what taken down.
II smiled triumphantly. Mr.. ]. was
very angry. Well, we went to the
jury, and l, Of course, had the last to
say. sailed away to glory. l spoke
Of the war, of the lives which it cost
us, of the awful battles which helped
to build up the glory Of our nation, of
the self denial and bravery of our
men, who left home and wife and
children and father and mother and
everything that was dear to them and
went forth to the fight. l worked up
the jury and got verdict for the full
amount. AS we were quitting the
courtroom Mr.. J. said:
"'S., your war speech gained you the
! verdict If you hadn't discovered
through my cross examination that the
man had fought in the Boer war, you
would have been beaten
my FRIEND I replied, If you had
only asked the man which side he
| fought on you might be going home
with a verdict. My client served I'M
der the Boer flag"
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1907-12-20
DANGERCJ US FISH.
Ways of the Green Moray of Bermuda
and the DevIfish.

Ways of the Green Moray of Bermuda
and the Devifish.
When one speaks of dangerous fish
the first that come to mind are the
shark and the octopus. But neither Of
these is really formidable to fishermen.
The shark never attacks boat and the
octopus very rarely.
A much worse creature than either
shark or octopus is the devilfish-a
large ray that is common in the warm
waters of the Atlantic. This fish
grows to a weight of ton and half
and, besides formidable teeth, Is arm
ed with horrible barbed and poisoned
spike in the tail. 1t has often been
known to attack boats.
A fishing party in launch succeed
ed in harpooning one Of these fish In
the bay known as Arkansas Pass, Tex
as The brute towed them eighteen
miles out to sea and very nearly upset
the launch. 1t was twenty-five feet
long and weighed 5000 pounds.
A very nasty customer is the green
moray of Bermuda This rather re-
sembles conger eel, but is green In
color and savage beyond any fish that
swims An English marine officer, fish
ing off Bermuda a year or two ago,
hooked large specimen and began to
pull it in.
His negro boatman, his eyes staring
with fright, begged him wildly to cut
the line. The officer at first refused,
but when he saw the fish turn on itself
and with crunch of saw edged teeth
bite large piece out of its own body
he came to the conclusion that 1t was
not a nice thing to have in a small
| boat.
The swordfsh is u dangerous crea-
ture. Swordfish are caught for the
sake of their oil and flesh, especially
along the Atlantic coast Of the United
States. They are harpooned in the
same manner In which whales used to
be killed. Quiet enough until attack
ed, the swordfish then seems to go
raving mad and fights with unmatched
ferocity.-London Answers.
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1907-12-20
NEGLECTED. BAYBERRIES.
Time Was When the Crop Was Eager
Iy Harvested.

Years ago when the first frosts had
come Connecticut people went out to
pick the punches of bayberries to make
the pale green wax candles which
when burning gave out the aromatic
smell of the leaves that the pickers
crushed in pulling off.
We no longer pick bayberries for
company candles for the winter time.
Except few romantic souls who gath
er berries enough to make candle or
two for old memories, few faddists
who want to try to make bayberry can
dies by some discovery or other In a
magazine and some stanch old New
Englanders who love to get out in the
pastures on a crisp fall day-these are
all who gather the bayberries now.
Left to themselves, the clumps Of
bushes have spread out and in some
cases oyerrun whole pastures. In some
parts of Connecticut the bushes have
grown very tall.
In Branford, on the coast, there ore
almost bayberry trees, as many can be
found growing along the highways ten
IStI anu bOhiS even AN'N
bayberries must be very old. You can
not help wondering how many crops
have been picked off them in years
past.
AS early as 1917 the town records
show that the gathering Of bayberries
on the highways and common was for
hidden before Sept 10. A fine Of 10
shillings for each violation was the
penalty 1t appears that the wax from
the berries was used in making a
backing and a salye and that bayberry
wax continued an article of trade In
Branford down to the last fifty years.
Human nature being about the same
one century to another there was
probably in 1717 great complaining
of people who picked the berries "be-
fore they were half ripe" or 'got up
mornings before anybody else had a
chance" hence the regulation and the
fine.
But what a breathless, hurried bay
berry picking it must have been the
morning of Sept 15!-Hartford Cou-
rant
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1907-12-20

A native had been caught at Calcut-
ia scaling the wall of the premises into
the compound Of No. 8, Chowringhi,
dressed in a complete suit Of European
clothes. The man had on the previous
evening concealed himself inside
shop and had employed his time till
morning in fitting himself with COM
plete suit of clothes, including white
shirt, with studs and links; a red tie,
carefully put on; black socks, a pair Of
boots, a watch and chain, handkerchief
and even a pocketknife, with straw
hat and stick. He even went the
length Of writing his name inside the
hat On being caught he said he want
ed to learn English and as prel1m-
mary step thought it best to dress him
self in sahibs clothes.-Bombay Qndia)
Advocate.
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1907-12-20
OFFICERS AND SADDLES.
jefferson Davis and Joke He Did
Not Appreciate.


Not Appreciate.
When Jefferson Davis was secretary
of war he ordered all his generals to
learn to ride horseback. No finer horse
man than Jefferson Davis ever lived
He won the love and hand of Zach
Taylor's daughter by his distinguished
presence in the saddle, as well as by
his intrepidity at the lannon's mouth.
When ecfetary of war he noticed that
only a few officers in the service were
capable horsemen and issued an order
something like this:
"a liberal reward will be paid to any
officer or private in the army who will
offer a satisfactory device for keeping
our soldiers from falling out Of their
saddles. Communications to the secre-
tary of war will be regarded as conf
DENTAL"
Captain George Horatio Derby, one
of the leading army engineers of his
day, used to write humorous and witty
stories over the pen name of John
Phoenix. He received copy Of Sec
rotary Davis order whilA> improving
the harbor of San Diego, gal, and i'm
mediately forwarded the most intri-
cate and accurate designs Of his plan
for keeping officers and men in the
saddle. To the seat Of each officers
"pants" he attached bull ring, and
another bull ring was attached to the
saddle. The two bull rings were to be
dashed together when the officer mount
ed his steed. "If that doesn't hold
nothing WILL" wrote Phoenix to the
secretary. Davis was furious when he
got this proposition and Immediately
ordered that Captain Derby should be
court martialed for official levity"
The secretary felt that the army had
been disgraced and wanted Derby Sc
verely punished. One of his intimates
fastened to him. JEFF" he whispered,
"if you order a court martial for this
little pleasantly Of John Phoenix, one
Of the salt of the earth and immensely
popular in the army, you will be made
a laughingstock. The people will ridi-
cule you out of Office. Just laugh it
off," Davis took his advice.-New York
Press
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1907-12-20
Pearl Banks of CeyIon.

In report from Colombo the Unit
ed States consul says that Of the
worlds great fisheries none can CON-
pare either in point of antiquity or in
the continuity of their prosecution
with the pearl fisheries of Ceylon,
which he thus describes: "The pearl
banks of Ceylon date back to the sixth
century before Christ 1t is recorded
that Vijaya, the first Singhalese king
of Ceylon, in the year $50 B. c. pre-
scented his father-in-law the Pandyan
king of Madura, q gift of pearls thus
indicating a settled fishery for pearls
on the coast of his dominion prior to
the historic date"
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1907-12-20

In every native house in India there
is shrine in which the household gods
are placed, like the icon in Russian
house. The very shadow of a Euro
pean or native of different caste pass
Ing over these or the culinary utensils
of the family is a defilement, but the
use Of malodorous disinfectants is. in
the belief Of the people, an outrageous
dissertation, calculated to call down on
the family the wrath Of the gods and
only TO be atoned by rigid pryaschit
nenancel and the administration OF the
panch gaviya, Il foul pill composed Of
the five products of the COW,
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1907-12-20
Most people aren't SO proud of being
honest as ashamed of being poor.-New
York Press.
How piphtheria IS nt,racted

One often hears the expression, my
child caught severe cold which de-
veloped into diphtheria, when the
truth was that the cold had simply left
the little one particularly susceptible to
the wandering diphtheria germ. When
Cough Remedy is given
1t quickly cures the cold and lessons the
danger of diphtheria or any other germ
disease being contracted. For sale by
Ackerman-Stewart Drug Co.
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1907-12-20
Wise men say nothing in dangerous
Wit on the STAGE.

Clyde Fitch in an address in Phila-
delphia on the drama said: "Wit in
play succeeds best when it is of the
unexpected and surprising type. Thus
it is good dramatic wit when the heir
says to the doctor Doctor, is there
any hopeT and the doctor. shaking
his head, answers sadly: No; none.
Your poor uncle viii recover 1t a.
good dramatic wit toe, when the maid
brings in a telegram Oh a salYee aad
the husband, looking ut his wife, says
tinidlv. "A disnatch FOR ma daar May
1 open it9'@
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1907-12-20
The Difficult Handshake,

1t is a difficult matter, this of shaking
hands. To start with, it is not always
easy to know whether to shake hands
or simply bow or even just scatter
gentle smile around. Books Of etiquette
devote pages to the handshake. How
ever, if one decides to do IT. then 'twere
well 'twere done quickly. Let the ac-
ton be swift and brief.-London Globe.
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1907-12-20
Lack of Confidence.

A party returning home in hired
brougham, the driver of which is some
what inebriated.
Paterfamilias (who at hill climbs
on to the box at the request Of mater
familias)-Give me the reins.
Coachman-'Avey you hever druv down
this ERE Ill afore?
Pater 0aking the reins)-No, have
not.
Coachman-Then I'll walk. docs
so.)-London Punch.
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1907-12-20
A Lost Art.
When 1t Rises,

Teacher (of geography class)-Name
the largest city on the Ohio river.
Shaggy Haired Pupil - Cincinnati,
ma'am, but it amt ON the Ohio river
only part Of the time. Teacher-In-
deed! Where is it the rest of the time 2
Shaggy Haired PupiI-In it.-Chicago
Tribune.
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1907-12-20
The STRANGE Part,

Isn't it strange that so few men
discover the secret of success in life|
Eyes, but it's stranger still that the
secret is still secret. Surely some of
the men who discovered it must have
told it to their wives" Philadelphia
Press.
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1907-12-20
Notice of City Taxes.

City taxes for 1907 are now payable
at the office of the city tax collector.
Taxes not paid by January l, will be
subject to penalty of one per cent
per month, beginning October 10Th.
Tax payers may act accordingly.
Office hours to IL a. m, 2:30 to
4:30 p. m. "A. II. TRAY,
City Tax Collector.
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1907-12-20
Phenomenon EXPLAINED.

A comparatively young man whose
mustache remained jet black while the
hair on his head turned white explain
ed the phenomenon by saying it was
because his lips enjoyed all the good
things Of life and his head had to SUI
fer all the troubles.-New York Sun.
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1907-12-20

Engllshman ION Atlantic liner)-Well
old chap, We'll soon be engaged with
those blarsted Yankee custom inspect
ors. American-You bet! And remem.
Der, old man, that the United States
expects every man to pay his duty!-
Puck
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1907-12-20

John, think hear a thief in the
dark closet beneath the stairs"
Il don't doubt it. l have known it
was there for some time"
Telephone for the police"
whats the use, You can't arrest
gas metey ?"-Houston Post
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1907-12-20

Some families seem to have more
skeletons than closets.-Detroit News.
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1907-12-20
When to Go Home.

From the Button, Ind, Banner
when tired out, go home. When you
want consolation, go home. When you
want fun go home. When you want
to show others that you have re-
formed, go home and let your family get
acquainted with the fact. When you
want to show yourself at your best go
home and do the act there. When you
feel like being extra liberal go home and
practice on your wife and children first.
When you want to shine with extra
brilliancy go home and light up the
whole household" To which we would
add, when you have bad cold go home
and take Chamberlain Cough Remedy
and quick cure Is certain. For sale by
Ackerman-Stewart Drug Co.
A Lost Art.
A Richmond housekeeper had occa-
sion many times to employ certain
odd character of the town known as
Aunt Cecilia Cromwell.
The old woman had not been seen in
the vicinity of the house for a long
time until recently, when the lady of
the house said to her:
Good morning, Aunt Cecilia. Why
aren't you washing nowadays"
Its dis way, Miss Annie" replied
Aunt Cecilia indulgently. ''Is been out
% wuhk so long dat now, when 1 can
wuhk, l finds rs lost nah tas'e fo' it."
-Lippincotts.
Imperial Valley press., 1907-08-03
Work Your Way Through College

Tine San Benaldino Business College arranges for young people who can at tend no other way to work to pay board while taking a course. Expenses are low for all students. This school is achieving a success unequaled elsewhere on the coast. It is the only school in Cal. making a speciality of coaching for the U. s. Civil Service and assisting young people to secure Govt. positions.
 The famous Tightening Legible Short hand is taught here by it's author who guarantees to teach any young person under reasonable conditions to write legibly I5o words of new matter to the minute in or months or make no charge. A good position is secured for every graduate. Particulars for the asking, San Bernardino Business Col lege, San Bernardino, Calf.
Imperial Valley press., 1907-08-03
We DOnIt BeIIeya t Either. BrolheI

Bss des making strange bedfellows poaucs somstimss makes strange stor- ies. Down atImperiaI where the coun- y seat war is waxng warm they have Started the tale that w. F Holt, of RadIa7ds, Is in league with a Los An gelas brewery in an effort to win the county seat 10, El Csntro Thls charge was made by one "J Jgdge F.C Far, in an address at BrawIey a few n'gts ago
 According to the charz e brought by Judge Far and which he su6stanuat- ed with 2 letter from an agent of the brewery 10 a brother in Fl Centre, wbica, he said. had been lost by the gentleman to whom it was sent. Mr. Holt has promised to allow the brew cry to get a footnoid at Fl Centro with a saloon if the brewery would furnish funds to defeat Imperial in the county seat battle
 Friends of Mt Holt will be slow to believe a yarn like this especially when he has done more than any other person to keep liquor cut ot the Imper- ial. valley Why he should be so short sighted now as 10 turn turtle is beyond their ability to believe. From this distance the story only goes to- show "whatthey can grow Imperial. '' RedIands Daily Revlew
Imperial Valley press., 1907-08-03
Morlos EoR eunLlcarloN.

Department of the Interior, Land office
 at Los Angeles, Cal, July lIth, 1907.
 Notice is hereby given that Henry W. Lake, of lleber, Cal, has filed notice of his intention to make final five year proof in support of his claim, viz: Homestead entry No. 97S9. made Dec. 2, 1901, for the NE I-4 of NE I-4, Sec 22, w I-2 of NV IA and NE IA of NV IA, Section 23, Township 16 s, Range IA E., s. R, M., and that said proof will be made before the United States Commis- sioner at his office in San Diego, Cal, on August 30th, 1907.
 Re names the following witnesses to prove his continuous residence upon and cultivation of the land, viz: C.. r. Perry, of San Diego Cal. !; John Patter- son, of San Diego, Cal. A. V. Lake, of Lemon Grove, Cal; E. c. Irwin, of Silsbee, Cal
 FRANK c. PRESCOTT, Register J27-a2f
Imperial Valley press., 1907-08-03
NOTICE FoR PURLIcArIoN.

Department of the Interior, Land office
 al Los Angeles, Cal, July llth, 1907.
 Notice is hereby given that George w. Nichols, of Silsbee, Cal, has filed notice of his intention to make final five year proof in support of his claim, viz; Homestead entry No. 9366. made Sept. ', 1900, for the E l-2 of NE l-4 Sec 23, T. lG s, k. BE, s. s. NJ. and that said proof will be made before the United States commissioner at his office in San Diego, Cal, on August 30th, 1907.
 He names the following witnesses to prove his continuous residence upon, and cultivation of the land, viz: Edwin Gregg, of Dehesa, Cal; Charles Perry, of San Diego. Cal; Ed. B. Moore, of San Diego, Cal. W. W. Werner of San Diego, Cal; Huley Phelps, of Clula Vista, Cal.
 FRANK c. PRESCOTT, J27-a24 Register
Imperial Valley press., 1907-08-03
DESERT LAND, FINAL PROOF NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION.

DESERT LAND, FINAL PROOF
 NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION United States Land office, Los Angeles,
 Cal, July l2th, l9o7
 Notice $ hereby given that Henly M. Kinne, of Fl Centro, Cal., has filed no- tice Of intention to make proof on his desert land claim No. 2234 for the SWM Sec 32, T. Is $, R.l4 E, $ B. M., be- fore register and receiver at Los Angel es, Cal, on Thursday the l2th day of September, 1907.
 He names the following witnesses to prove the complete irriga ton and aecla- nation of said land: A. J. M,orey, of El Centro, Cal. w. w. Baker, of Fl Centro, Cal. Byrdie s. Kinne, of Fl Centro, Cal. M. V. Butcher, of Los An geles, Cal. FRANK c. PRESCOTT, a3-a3I Register.
Imperial Valley press., 1907-08-03
Dgsgar LANo, FIMAL pRooF-

DESERT LAND, FINAL PROOF
 NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION. United States land office Los Angeles, Cal June 26th, 1907,
 Notice is hereby given that Emma A. J. McKusick, of Heber, Cal, assignee of Hagen P. McKusick, has filed notice of intention to make proof on her desert land claim, No. 229e, for t NWI, Sec I9, T. l6 $, R. IA E, s. B. M., be- fore register and receivers at Los Angeles, Cal, ,,on Thursday the 18th dayof August 1907
 She names the following witnesses to prove the complete irrigation and recla- nation of said land: Huntington Me- Kusick, oJ Ieber, Cal; Flora McKu- sick, of Ileber, Cal; William A Van Horn, of Fl Centro, Cal; Maggie Van Horn, of El Centro. Cal
 FRANK C. PRESCOTT, j-l3.a-lO Register
Imperial Valley press., 1907-08-03
Eczen1a

For the good of those suffering with eczema or other such trouble, wish to say, my wife had something of that kind and after using the doctors rem edies for some time concluded to try Chamberlain's Salve, and it proved to be better than anything she had tried. For sale by Fl Centro Drug Store.
Imperial Valley press., 1907-08-03

Mir. Wentworth was announced from a pulpit In Calexico last Sunday 10 speak at that place Wednesday night. He sent a friend around to make the request and this friend told the minis ter that the "Rev" gentleman propos-
Imperial Valley press., 1907-08-03

You had better buy an Fl Centro lot now before the prices go up There is no better investment in the country today than a resident or busi- ness lot In the town that does things. E Centro Land Go. See the agent al the office. 15d