Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-12-28
YULETIDE THEATER
<f)I, by the way" observed Mrs.
Jobson after dinner one evening
Iae. vveek 1--WE mustn't forget to |

y
.,Nobody'u get EN-" growled MT. JOB
SON nv wav of reply, and with no further
explanation he went on reading his Stah-
pape.
Mrs. Jobson is a charter member or the
Tactful Time Biders' Association. So she
didn't spring 1t again till the following
evening after dinner.
.sThose theater seats for Christmas
night-have you got them yet, my DEAR
she asked him then.
Nope" promptly replied Mr.. Jobson.
Neither have 1 as yet purchased ring
side seats for a chicken fight down in
Alexandria on Christmas night. Nor yet
have 1 coughed I'D for seats for an en-
counter between forty pound bulldogs in
a barn at Giesboro Point on Christmas
night. Neither have 1, up to this present
moment of speaking. gone into my nan
keens to purchase reserved seats for
parlor social in Bloodfield on Christmas
night None of these things have done.
None of these things am l going to 90;
Il had not supposed calmly replied
Mrs. Jobson. that you were. ! was re-
ferring l believe, to tickets Tor some
theater In Washington"
Mr. Jobson sat up straight in his chair
and glared at her.
"Ohov he exclaimed in tone of
marked surprise, Ohio again! You're
working in some of that comedy OF yours
again. Ell? The merry yuletide season is
fetching out your cut-uppishness as usual
hey?'
.'Oh, no." complaisantly replied Mrs.
Jobson. ..Only | could not fail to be
struck hy the difference between seats for
a Washington theater on Christmas night
and tickets for a chicken light IN Mex
andria seats for a dog fight at Gies-
boro Point or seats for parlor social IN
Bloodfield on Christmas night.
Whereupon, of course, MI Jopsoh
stared still harder at her
Say he said out of a dry throat ar
ter a short pause. do you know what you
remind me of when you try to get away
with that lightsome, naive, sarcastic
stuff? You remind me of a yearnns
giraffe doing an ostrich-egg dance. just
what kind of hit that 'ud be. you can
figure out for yourself. Leaving meta
phor aside, however. permit me to OBJ
serve, madam, that this yuletide brand of
righteousness doesn't assay into any KIND
of hit with me-"
But" said Mrs. Jobson. with rather
unusual persistence for her. about the
theater seats for Christmas night?"
''Oh. you're going to grind me down
about that. hey. are your said Mr.. job
son, the rasp getting busy in his tone.
You're going to ride hard on me about
that. are you? You're going to pin me to
a stanchion and just make me put my
self on record about theater seats for
Christmas night, are you?"
"Oh, not at ALL said Mrs. Jobson.
sweetly. only. naturally. l should like
to have reasonable notice as to whether
we're going to the theater or not on
Christmas night, as usual
"All right. madam, you'll get notice on
that issue-and you'll get it right now
responded Mr.. Jobson. 1--WE are NOT go
usual. How's that? Is that succinct
enough? Is that sufficiently unncum-
bered with orolixity and things to suit
you? NOT We are NOT. How bout
it? Do you get it?"
"Oh. very we'll" said Mrs. Jobson. not
martyredy at all. but perfectly willing to
let it go at that.
and there won't be the slightest use
for you to pull long mouth about it,
either" went on Mr.. Jobson, eager to
saw her subsiding. mot bit of good
will it do you to mooch around and sulk
about it every hour of the time between
now and Christmas. The matter has been
to the theater on Christmas night. I hope
l am sufficiently clear?"
Mrs. Jobson went right on with her
fancy work without making any reply to
that.
You see' went on Mr. Jobson. Selling
the advantage offered by her silence and
acquiescence, II don't get such an awful
lot of good out of this house that it's
taken me the greater part of my life to
get going halfway decent1y. OF course,
you, Hopping around here most of the
time. with not thing to do, and not do
ing even that, get tired of your home. 1t
begins to gag you, because you see about
5000 times as much Of it as 1 do. But
I'm not sick of it just yet, you know. i
don't see any too much of it. For me.
sure-enough holiday is a holiday time
to loaf and think 1t over All right.
Henceforth holiday is going to mean
a. -
rest-a loaf 1t isn't going to mean that
you're going to drag me all around
Washington and its environs by the scruff
of the neck. just to satisfy your hysterical
bunch to be gadding during most of your
waking hours"
Really. you wouldn't call going to the
theater 'gadding.' would you?" mildly
inquired Mrs. Jebson.
'"Ill call it whatever I elect to call it.
madam, without any suggestions or critl-
csms from you," chopped Mr.. Jobson.
Whatever it is. it's yanking me by the
hair of the head out of my easy chair
when I'm resting from the shaving and
toiling and moiling that 1 have to engage
in during most of my waking hours in
order to keep this dump together.
"Oh, well. why pursue the matter fur
there" put in Mrs. Jobson. 1T will be no
hardship at all for me to remain home
from the theater on Christmas night. l
only mentioned the matter so that. in case
you wanted to go, we would have time
to get seats
"Ye-eh.sI know all about that gag of
yours of trying to put things to me-in
case I wanted to 60, " said Mr.. Jobson.
It's a bally lot you think about me. If
you didn't want to go to the theater on
Christmas night or any other old night,
and l did, I'd have to go out and lasso
about fourteen wild cayuseS of the prairie
in order to drag you out against your
will But these things are going to work
double henceforth, Mrs. Jobson. I'm go
ing to have something to say about things
myself for the first time in my conjugal
life. That's what l am"
A ring at the doorbell chopped off the
rest of it, and when Mrs. Jobson had
disposed of the begSar at the door, the
subject was not resumed.
The Jobsons had pretty good sort
of a Christmas at home. Mr.. Jobson
doddered about reading the newspapers
and tinkering with the papers in his den
desk all the morning, and smoked himself
black in the face, while Mrs. Jobson made
the gift-distributing calls.
After eating gigantic turkey dinner
Mr.. Jobson corked off on the couch and
snoozed for an hour or so, and by that
time darkness was falling.
Better be throwing your togs on,
hadn't you?" he asked Mrs. Jobson then.
What, dress?' inquired Mrs. Jobson.
Dress for what?"
''Oh, we're going out to the Zoo," said
Mr.. Jobson, in his cut-uppy tone
DO you really mean that I am to
dress?" repeated Mrs. Jobson. Are we
really going OUT"
Now, just wait a minute" said Mr..
Jobson then. "Just stop a little bit and
try to remember what day this is. Is 1t