The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1907-01-27

the wreck he reeited with declamatory
effect the lines already printed And
| that ended the Grldlrons picturesque
picture Of what would happen II central.
ization really got in its deadly work and
made the American people bid farewell
to Republican institutions.
Enter two bears. They were two per-
feetly lovely bears, one brown and one
black. They stood upright, like the bear
! in kiplngs poem, and they walked
around like men, Hopping their great big
| paws and turning their large beary heads
/ until they came in front of where Pres
! ident Roosevelt was sitting, when they
| went into ecstasies of delight They did
not seem to appeal to President Blythe,
! however. He never did like BEARS any
way. 50 he appointed a committee to
| throw these animals into the street
| Away to the cruel and heartless world
with YOU" said he. Just like that.
| But the bears looked grieved and pa
| thetc They couldn't say anything at
! first because the man who made the
bearskin costumes forgot to fix a mouth
| that would open. So a club member
| whose sympathies We're aroused, had to
talk for them. and explain that their
trainer was outside The bears evident
ly could hear, even if they couldn't speak
| and nodded their heads gleefully. There
| upon, the trainer appeared.
Are these your bears?' asked Presi-
dent Blythe.
! yes, sir. they are was the reply
/ Il have had them in charge ever since
their creation by Mr. Bergman. now Of
| the Washington Star. l understand
| their language. and have taught them
| the language of man.
They think as quickly speak rapidly,
and spell as badly as the President of the
United States"
Have they any friends in the United
States Senate?'
No" replied their trainer.
| Their lives have been simple, their
| habits correct; they own no Standard Oil
stock, nor have they fenced in the public
| domain
your bears are certainly prodigies,9
commented Mr.. Blythe What are Their
/ names?'
named Lodge was the reply amid
| laughter"
.fIow do they happen to be here?' was
| the next question.
They escaped from me and went n
search of their father, the originator of
the Teddy bear, who, they were given
/ to understand. is TO be taken into the
| Gridiron club tonight"
! Whereupon, in a low voice, there was
| call for Bergman, and the well known
| cartoonist, with his black hair all nicely
| pompadored, came to the front. lie
| greeted the bears, and the bears greeted
| him, like long-lost brothers returning
| from the war.
| The bears escorted him to platform,
where an easel had been placed. The
! artist held a big crayon in his hand, Just
/ as graceful and confident as woman
| with a powder puff
| Mr. Bergman" grunted one of the
| f1,Ypat IN
! the mouth that would not open, please
draw a picture of the man."
| .Thereupon under the cartoonists dett
| and wizard-ike touch, appeared picture
| of President Roosevelt 1t was Mr..
Roosevelt, all right with eye glasses and
/ teeth and expansive smile.
The President Joined with the senators
/ in laughing at the picture of himself IS
! the Senate's Guardian Angel"
'And now draw picture of the sena-
| tor whom the President loves most"
| As rapidly as the crayon could move
across the paper the well known face Of
| Senator Foraker appeared, much to
| everybody's amusement. The attention OF
| the entire audience was riveted upon the
| artist as he represented the next Vice
| President Of the United States by draw
| ing first a picture of David b. Hill, which
| he eleverly changed to the face of Mr..
| Fairbanks.
1.-THE yougest man in public life,
| proved to be Uncle Joe" Cannon, cigar
| and all, a clever sketch which was hailed
| with applause. There were other car
| ICONS one representing Uncle Sans hand
I ing Emperor William a reciprocity
| treaty in the form of a lemon, and all
| of them made instant hits.
1t wasn't long before one of the club
| members, dressed like carpenter, came
strolling into the hall and halted in. front
of a door bearing the label white
| House" He explained that he lived In
| Indianapolis. was carried on the pay rolls
| of the Senate as a carpenter, and mad
been instructed TO get the exact height o.
| Vice President Fairbanks.
| 81 can answer" said President Blythe.
| "He is six feet four inches high"
| The alleged mechanic carefully meas
| ured the White House door. 1t was only
five feet high. With savage blow OF
his hammer he knocked away the top
jam, and when the door was tall enough
to admit Mr. Fairbanks, he retired, evil
IDENTIFY well pleased with his work.
At that moment another carpenter APP
peared He explained that he was the reg
ular White House carpenter. and that the
President had given him a small job.
| MAY | speak to Secretary Taft" he
inquired.
| Thereupon Mr. Taft obligingly stood up,
| while the lndke-DeHeNe .cdlptHtSi' uSihS
an enormous tape line, encircled the gen
erous grth of of the genial Secretary of
War Mr.. Taft looked helpless but
amused. while everybody else enjoyed
the Joke hugely
After completing the measurement the
member carried the tape line conspicu-
ously to the White House door and nois-
lily knocked away few feet on both
sides
An elephant could almost have walked
upright through the opening.
Its wide enough now, you can bet
your life," remarked the man with the
tape line, as he withdrew from the scene.
| Vive President Fairbanks did not make
Speech and this is the reason why:
The choir gathered In front of the piano
and one of the sweet voiced singers war
bled verse as follows:
didates galore;
"They are thicker than the sands beside
| the sea:
But there's one who. tall and stately,
| dignfied and walks sedately,
"Is a candidate for President. you see.
"If he makes a speech this evening he
will give his text to you
"As you love us, Mr.. Fairbanks, answer
| now and answer true
This was the question which Mr.. Fair
banks was expected to answer:
Are you going back to Indiana, Fair
banks?
Don't you want to stay in Washington
| some rlore7'