The Kendrick gazette. [volume] (Kendrick, Idaho) 1892-1968, 1907-10-04

quite unearthty.-The Byst8nder.
He with a sigh)-I have only one
friend on earth-my dog. She-Why
don't you get another dog?-Chicago
Daily News.
Citiman-Yes, she's married to real
estate agent, and good, honest fellow,
too. Subbubs-Good gracious! Big
amy, eh?NPhiladelphia Press.
Johnny, doesn't your conscience tell
you that you are doing wrong?' Yes
mother, but father said wasn't to be-
lieve everything l heard."-Punch.
Patience-Did you ever hear the
Duette sisters sing in concerto Patrlce
No; one always seems to be little
ahead Of the other.-Yonkers States
man.
mo, don't care for English OPERA"
"Why not?" because it bothers me to
listen to what the singers are saying
when want to talk. "-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Nell-She always said she wanted
Did she get such one? NellIWhy,
yes; didn't he marry her?-Lippincott
Magazine.
81 should think" she said "that golf
ing would make you awfully tired"
mo, stand it first rate. You see, l
never keep my score at all.'-Chicago
Record Herald.
Church, see that Argentine has a
54-mile horse railway. 1t is the long.
est in the world. Gotham-Gee! Think
Of holding on to strap for 81 miles y
Yonkers Statesman.
II must get you another chair for the
kitchen, Katie; 1 see you have only
one" "Sure, you needn't mind, ma'am
l have none but gintleman callers.
Yonkers Statesman.
I'm going to put a fender on thu
front of my runabout." $50 you won
run over some one?" "Nope. So i
won't hurt the radiator when 1 do."-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Wigwag-That's fine dog Of yours
Saphedde. Saphedde-Yes, indeed, h
is. That dog knows as much as l dc
Wigwag-I'll give you quarter TO
hlm.-Philadelphia Record.
Excuse me, sir, but this is the sixt
time that you have gone away withou
paying" "Oh, my dear young lady
when man sees you he forgets every
thing else."-Fliegende Blaetter.
Lady Customer wish to tell 20
how these shoes of mine are to
made. Shoemaker-Oh, l know ths
we'll enough-large inside, and sma
outside-Meggendorf Blaetter.
, "Oh! Willie. what's this queer lool
in thing with about million legs
That's a millennium. It's somethi
like a centennial, only it has mol
legs" Natural History" in Life.
Nell-Yes, she said her husband ma
ried her for her beauty. What do yc
j think of that? Believed, 1 thir
her husband must feel like widow
D. now.-Catholic Standard and Times.
Blinks-The first principle of a
!. archism Is to divide with your feilo
man, is it not? Winks-No. The fir
principle Is to make your fellow ms
divide with you.-Chicago Daily New
Hotel Proprietor-Has not the m,
in No. Is received his bill yet? He'
Waiter-Certainly Fifteen minut
, ago. "Strange! 1 hear him still sin
, ing in his acknowledgements Bla'
y ter.
Tired Tatters-I saw de new mo
over me left shoulder las night
u wonder wot OATS sign Nv? Wea
Walker-It's a sign dat de mex pla
youse ask fer work yousell git it.
Chicago Daily News.
re Mr.. Phoxy-Did you send the Bore
~ card for our Eat homer" M
e. Phoxy-Yes; how could get out Of
IN Mr.. Phoxy-I'll tell Borem that Jer
is is coming. Borem owes him money
Terre Haute Tribune.
= "Ah! pretty lady," said the fortu
. teller, "you wish to be told about ye
future husband?" Not much" repl
Mrs Galley. "I've come to learn VIII
: my present husband is when he's
- sent" -Philadelphia Press.
Husband explaining his late hol
coming)-My dear, l couldn't help
1 Just missed the last car and had
wait forty minutes. Wife-Now dc
blame it on the street car compa
n They've troubles enough without you
Z Detroit Free Press.
4 Hawkins-Oh, well, Bjenks isn't 81
bad fellow, after all. Dawkin
What makes you say that? Hawkin
Well, he wouldn't lend me the $40 t
1 asked him for, but he didn't take
vantage of the opportunity to give
} good advice.-Somerville Journal.