The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1907-11-02

Dot Injecting JOHNNY bav.
you out. Johnny-What am I, n rSuA
Nobody. Johnny-Goodness cr,.'
I am discovered! ''OA
Pa-Why did you go out In tho :.
today without an umbrella 10 ,aa
JOHNNY ate salt mackerel this ma ua'
ing for breakfast, and that keens sa
dry.
Johnny-Say, dad, If l ate a oh
and you ordered one and ate If wh,'
would your phone number be: Do
Give 1t up, son. Johnny-It wonla ;,
IL.
Little Edna-What Is %a;su,.,
mamma? Mamma the snaro .,s
woman has in which she can do soa '
other kind Of work, my dear.-Cbjo..'
Daily News.
He (sententiously)-I always sno,.
my mind. She (tartly)-I sunnOss
that is why you have the reputation a,
being a man Of SO few words.-Ralu
more American.
Observation-Disclosures are you doin, =.
poor dolly, child? Child-I'm lust On
ing to put her to bed, mummy, ".
taken of her hair, but l can't get no,
teeth out.-Sourire.
Old Lady (improving the occasion)-
You know, boys. it's only the bod,
which lies here. Now, what Is It eoa,
to Heaven? Small Boy (tentatiyely,-
Is cad, mum.-Pick-Me-Up.
Nell-Yes, she said her husband ma,
ried her for her beauty. What do Won
think Of that? Belle-Well, l think be,
husband must feel like a widower now
Catholic Standard and Times
Mistress-Bridget, have you cement.
ed the handle on to the watering
which you dropped yesterday? Bridget
II started to, Mum, but most unfor.
tunately I dropped the cement bottle
Punch.
'"The body Of the late Major Jlnss
was cremated." What they goin' to
do with it," Ills widow has him
corked up In fruit jar. Says It's the
last Of the family jars."-Atlanta Con.
stitution.
The Wife, during a quarreLI'm 30
ing right home to mother; 30 there!
The Husband right, dear, Of
two evils always choose the less Please
don't bring your mother here.-Yon.
kers Statesman.
Pa-You naughty boy, you've been
fighting again! Johnny-No, pa, l was
only trying to keep a bad boy from
hurting a little boy. Pa-That was 4
noble act, my son; who was the little
boy? Johnny-Me.
Department Store Manager-Ths
clerk in the butter department says he's
not going to lie about our butter any
more. The Boss-What salary does he
get7 Manager dollars week.
The Boss-Give him nine.
Sweet Singer-De Hammer says he
has a high place in the next show be
goes out with. Comedian-Well, |
should say it is high. He sits in the
flies and tears up paper for the snow
storm scene.-Chicago News.
Dot heard your soldier brother
wrote you birthday letter. Was there
any war news In it? johnny don't
know. You see 1t was printed on the
envelope Return In five days." 20
kept it that long and then sent 1t back.
Waiter Girl Tin restaurant)-WeVe
got frogs legs, chicken livers, calves
brains and-Johnny turning TO Dis
pal say. dad, they must be queer
people who live In this place. Don
you think they ought to call In aoc'
tor?
'Ts Mrs. Wise at homer inquired
Mrs. Chatters. standing In the shadow
Of the doorway. II don't know, maam'
replied the servant. Il can't tell I'LL
git better look at We. If we've a war
on the side O. yer nose, ma'am' Sns
ain't."-Philadelphia Press.
THAR, my son, you see what larniu
done fer yer daddy, don't you" :" nat
mawY "Why, Jest as soon as the gov.
er'mint knowed that he could do hss"l'
in his head they p'inted him postmasls'
at SEQ a year, an purity soon hell "
sellin' stamps what goes on letters =
Atlanta Constitution.
But" asked the proprietor OF -.
Bongtong apartments, do you 'h, ~.
this man IL the best one you can get ~
tanitor?' 1.-The best ever!" replied 'n'
manager. HE has been at various
times an iceman and street-car cou
ductor. He's as sassy and independen
a. he can be."-Philadelphia Press
.What I would like" said the eass'
young actress, ''is a part with oea.
scene in it. I never fail to make ",
hit when I die" II don't doubt ~
replied the heartless manager, auu
-1~,1A raoko the Dl6