Gilpin observer., 1907-01-03
RISES TO PROTEST.
FAMILY CLOCK MAKES KICK
WITH ITS USUAL TICK.
Tired of Continually Being Made
Scapegoat, Timepiece Threatens
to Go on Strike-DismaI Re-
citaI of Woes.

I'm getting nervous prostration,"
remarked the family clock to the Jap
anese vase. Just observe how jerky
my hands are; and 1 shake so l can't
keep my tick on straight. I'll have to
so to a sanitarium for rest and re-
pairs soon or l shall be completely
run down.
No, it isn't age, nor overwork, nor
even the 24-hour day that is doing it;
it's the strenuous excitement of family
life. You cannot imagine what jar
1T is on my nervous system to be
forced to live a constant lie. That is
what l am doing. For instance the
other morning, about two o'clock. L
was jogging quietly along, almost doz-
ing, when suddenly l heard the click
of key in the hall door and stealthy
Footsteps creeping along the corridor.
All at once the lights flared up and
saw the master of the house blinking
at meme! AS though | were respon-
sible for his troubles and sins. Then
we both heard stir in the othS'
room. Quick as a flash he had rush
ed at me, jerked open my glass face
and thrust my hand back two hours
Think of it! Two solid hours-and all
that night work to be done over again
to say nothing of the modification
felt at having to lie to his wife
THE next morning, very naturally.
the lady having slept all night and
gone to bed early was awake hours
before her husband. When she tried
to get him up for breakfast he blinked
at me again and declared he wouldn't
stir until half-past nine. He had
scarcely doZed off when his wife tip
toed over to me. set me carefully at
$3.50 and turned back and walked her
husband up. l tell you l was dis,
susted. 1t appeared to me that had
oeen chosen as the scapegoat to do
all the family lying.
That afternoon the kid came in
from school with a fresh appetite
+ What time ye goin' to have dinner.
MAJ he asked. and when he was told
that that repast would be served as
usual at $50 | quaked in my case, for
| saw his eyes steal toward me. He
said nothing. but waited until his
IL.
over, shook his fist in my face and
deliberately jerked me up full half
hour.
THE strain was beginning to tell
on my nerves, you can imagine But
the worst was yet to come. That
evening the daughter of the house was
expecting caller-the one she al
ways takes longest TO dress for and
never misses. 1t seems it must have
been about time for him to come up
to the family expectations, for she Of
dered the small boy to stay out of the
library. Then her eyes rested on NV
face. My, how that clock does run.
she murmured. Well, he did appear.
and he did propose, and afterward-
say, l wanted to turn my face to the
wall. They kept it up until IL
O'Clock. Then her mother called her
from the other room.
Its only half-past ten, mother
she said.
But the old lady wasn't to be de.
ceived. They heard her getting up
and fumbling around for her slippers.
AT the sound the girl looked guilty.
Then her eyes lighted on my face and
without word she stole over and set
me back an hour and half
And now I'm to be sent out to be
regulated. They think I'm not relia-
bic. | don't tell the truth about the
time. But it's not | that needs regu-
latins-it's the family. Oh, well,
little rest cure will do me good-but
who will do their lying while In,
,Jae?"