The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1907-09-25

erlng to become the proud and fond
owner OF plug out there didn't
seem to be any decent excuse for nv
getting one.
Il You know, before / came to con-
gress, | had never attended a White
House reception--nor much of any.
'hing else except 'taffy-pulling.'
Eut my constituents are a game lot
OF people. ! knew they wanted their
representative to do the proper thing;
and that was what expected to do
Just as fast as | found out what the
proper thing was. Well, Just a short
time before | was due to make my
debut at my first White House re-
ception | overheard an old congress-
man telling another green one like
| myself that 1t was the proper thing
To wear silk hat to White House
reception. That was the excuse tina.
| had been waiting for for years. /
| determined to have one instanter.
Within ten minutes | walked into
shop on Pennsylvania avenue where
hey furnished halters and head
stall for male animals.
"Of course | didn't care to have
| the clerk in that store know that
had never owned silk hat, so lust
remarked to him. rather careless
like, that | guessed ! was about due
to have another plug hat. He looked
at me and said, What block?' I
said, 'Hnh?' If ne had been Il
Chinaman | would have come Jus,
as near understanding imagine
that he suspected that | was not a
genuine expert in plug hats. But he
laid out an assortment. Say, they
looked fine-that is, when he tried
them on himself But when | tried
them on | must confess that the eff
feet was "A trile peculiar made me
look somewhere about half way be-
tween a hay-barrack and a liberty
l
tall man. ought to have an extra
tall hat. You know had figured it
ont just the other way; but my in
formation on the subject was not
sufficient for me to get into an argu-
ment with him. So took the tallest
hat in the bunch plunks.
Il took that box tenderly under my
arm and carried it home. did not
dare to try to wear it without prac-
tice. When | got the box home and
took that hat out and stood 1t up on
the center-table. really thing it was
the understanding thing ever
saw 1t was so slick that You could
fairly see yourself in it--and | al
most forgot about the price looking
at it. But when | put ii on my trou-
Lies began. You know | had been
used to wearing a soft SLOUGH hat that
a bronco couldn't buck off your head
But this new stiff thing would skate
around over the top of my head like
6 stove lid When | walked around
the room with it on | had to perform
much like an acrobat balancing a
pole on his nose. But | practiced
with it, and after | had held two or
three dress rehearsals | felt that
could keep under it all right-that is,
If nobody disturbed me and | had
plenty of room.
Finally the great night OF the
White House reception came. and
proceeded to array myself in my
dress-suit and that plug hat. Say!
| felt like circus band wagon looks
made for a street car. | afterwards
wished l had hired an express wagon
You know | am quite tall, and l can
just about go through the door Of a
street car without stooping-that is.
! mean when l have my SLOUGH hat
on. stepped up on the platform of
that car, carefully balancing that
treasure on top OF the spot where |
am supposed to do my thinking; tnen
| tried to step through the door. The
hat struck the top of the door and
was knocked off. l made backwarI.
lunge after it. hoping to get 1t on the
fly or on the first bounce But 1t
lit on boys head and bounced off,
hit the motor box, bounced again,
hit the floor. and then took finai
bounce into the street Finally
overlook 1t out in the street.
after that car got out of sight
carefully smothed out the rough
places on that hat with pocket
comb and bunch OF keys, and then
walked over to the White House
That was in the old days at the
White House. you know, before they
had built on that summer kitchen
on the east side, out toward the els
tern So | went right in in front
butted right into the main corral
rhe front dor is about twelve fee
| hiph hut sduckad' as wen