davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Free press., 1907-01-12
Mark rwain's Neat Answer.

Eugene Ware, of Topeka, recently
wrote to Mark Twain: 81 picked up
your last volume l read it clear
through from cover to cover; it was
like bob-tailed flush I could not lay
it down" From No. 81 Fifth avenue.
New York city, Mr.. Clemens answered
back as follows: Dear Mr.. Ware: I
am an old brass-bound, copper-riveted,
fire-assayed Presbyterian, with II
years experience in unworldliness,
and I don't understand your meta
phOr, but I know it was intended as
a compliment and make it cordially
welcome"
Free press., 1907-01-12
Folk Denounces Mail-order Idea.

d IuSStIuSo VI ISld11 !IlSt-
chants in Jefferson city recently, Gov
ernor Folk, of Missouri, said.
I'VE are proud of our splendid
cities, and we want TO increase wealth
and population, and we also want our
country towns to grow. We wish the
city merchants to build up, but we
also desire the country merchants to
prosper. 1 do not believe in the mail
order citizen. If a place is good
enough for a man to live in and to
make his money in, its good enough
for him to spend his money in.
mo merchant can succeed without
advertising in one way or another.
Patronize your town papers, build
them up, and they will build the town
up in increased trade and greater op-
portunities. Do not be afraid that
business is geing to be hurt by the re-
cent exposures of wrong-doing in the
commercial world"
Free press., 1907-01-12

Thomas Turner, wealthy English
manufacturer, has come to America
for the one hundred and nineteenth
time. and viii spend the winter with
relatives in Chelsea, Mass. His first
trip over was made in 1861. He says
the longest time required for any
trip he has made was IL days, and
he has crossed in five days and 15
hours
Free press., 1907-01-12
keep Your money AZ Home.

Don send money to mail order
houses to deposit. Your home bank
is the only safe place to keep it and
will pay you as good interest as can
be had, and then you run no risk as
in such cases as he Cash Buyers
Union" failure. The home bank viii
grant you fayors and mail order
houses never do.
Free press., 1907-01-12
Oldest Chief Executive.

Gov Harris OF Ohio is the Oldest
chief executive of any state in the
union, but is very lively and potent
integer in the politics of the buckeye
state. He is II years old and has the
distinction of having twice been lieu
tenant governor before being elevated
to his present position by the death Of
Gov. Pattison.-Chicago Chronicle.
Free press., 1907-01-12

In confessing that she was the lead
er of a band of horse thieves a young
woman of Indiana has again proved
the truth of the assertion that mem
bers of the fair sex cannot keep a Sc
cret
Free press., 1907-01-12
Mixture Of Many Nations.

Louis N. Parker. the dramatist, was
born in France; his father was az
American. his mother an English
woman; his first language was Italian
and he was educated in Germany
Free press., 1907-01-12

II is worth while to note that the
Edwardsville man who found a dia-
mond ring in whisky glass which he
drained had had only one drink.
Free press., 1907-01-12

Mexico imports most of her pig
from because of the lack of cheap
fuel for making it.
Free press., 1907-01-12

Two and one-quartsr male imnli-
grants land in New FORK to one fe-
male
Free press., 1907-01-12

Wagg-"Do you think that poodle
of the BARRIERS is full blooded ?''
Wagg-"No, I'll bet it's a sham
noodle
The Marshall republican., 1907-08-23
Headlines and Copy.

A st. Louis business man while
recently in an Arkansas town found
himself badly in need Of o haircut
After various and complicated in
structions from the clerk Of the
hotel as to the whereabouts Of the
barber shop, the man managed to
find the place.
When he entered the shop, the
only person to be seen was an
elderly man leisurely reading O
newspaper. To his look Of inquiry
the st. Louis man announced the
purpose Of his visit.
Haircut" asked the barber.
"Cert'ny, sirl Here, Johnny" he
yelled to q boy on the step outside,
run over to Mr.. Blank an ask him,
ef he's done editing the paper, to
send over my shearsl"
The Marshall republican., 1907-08-23
As Exempli6ed.

A learned professor was dining
with the Diltes, and the table was
set with best ware that Mrs. Diltz's
china-closet afforded. The guest
was particularly interested in the
display, and admired it greatly.
Picking up the plate in front Of
him, and noting the stamp Of the
manufactures on the bottom Of it,
he remarked:
~ presume you know that china,
or the art Of making it, was discov-
cred by accident"
just then there was heard in the
kitchen, where the maid was busily
at work, q loud crash.
YES answered Mrs. Diltz, with
a panied smile, land most Of it is
broken in the same way"
The Marshall republican., 1907-08-23
Mexican Veterans.

The Goth annual reunion of
veterans of the Mexican war
will be held at Holden, Mo-,
on Wednesday and Thursday,
the 18th and 18th of Septem.
bar, 1907. Veterans with
their wives, and daughters
and widows Of veterans are
cordially invited to attend.
The Holden people are max.
ing arrangements to give the
BODY royal entertainment.
Forfnther particulars address,
W. Boone Major, Sec. and
Treas. 2205 Golf Ave-, St.
Joseph, Mo-, or Capt. M. II.
Moore, President State As
~sociation, Jefferson City, Mo.
The Marshall republican., 1907-08-23
A New Superintendent

Owing to the fact that PROF..
Simpson, of Charleston, who
was elected superintendent of
the Marshall schools, did not
accept, a new man had to be
secured. The beard Monday
night elected Prof. Henry H.
Edmiston, of Warrensburg,
who comes highly recommend.
ed as an able and splendid
man. The Charleston direct.
ors prevailed upon Prof. Simp-
son to remain there.
The Marshall republican., 1907-08-23
A Wardrobe in a Hat.

Grandfather De Voc is, an artist
who appreciates fine millinery. His
young married daughter, hewever;
was practising domestic economy,
when q hat, a beautiful creation In
real laeeJ arrived for little Elsie
from hen devoted ,grandpsrant,
whose eyelh had surrendered to Nthis
hit Of baby apparel the momentsh he
saw It in a department store.
THAT hat Is too extravagant Tor
this family" remarked the young
mother. "I'l take il back and sIe
what ! can do"
A few days later the grandfsthtr
called TO see the baby in the new
hat.
DO lot me see how she looks in
be said. and how do youlika
Very much, father, thank you.
They gave me- two hats, two dresses
. sweater, and thirty-nine cents IN
The Marshall republican., 1907-08-23
Fake Check

Washington, Aug. H.
When a clerk in the Treasury
opened a letter yesterday
~postmarked Toledo, O., be
nearly tainted, for IL contained
n check made payable to the
United States Treasury and
purported TO pay the fine OF
$50, 240, 600 levied on the Stan.
dard Oil company by Judge
lands in Chicago. The check
was rushed to Acting Secrt.
'ary of the Treasury James b.
Reynolds. Mr.. Reynolds
laughed. The check was
signed 1.-THE Standard Oil
Company, per j. d. Rocker.
feller."
1t was drawn on the Second
National bank of Toledo.
Newspaper men sent the
story of the check being re-
ceived TO their papers. One
correspondent sent it 10 a mat
ter OF fact sort of wav. I'm.
mediately his home Office was
hot with this query:
us the check genuine? Be.
lieve here it is u fake"
He sorrowfully answered
You are right. 1t is "A fake.
/ am not a humorist."
The Marshall republican., 1907-08-23

amounting to l,4O0 jewelry
valued at S400 and $3.50 In
cash, says she has learned
that the drafts were cashed
in Topeka a few days after
Miller left St. Louis, August
8. Mrs. Miller, after paying
the bill at the hotel which her
husband neglected TO settle,
sought cheaper lodgings at
900 North Sixth street. Since
then she has walked the street
J daily looking for work but Is
as yet unemployed and is
without money at the age Of
As.
She met Miller through an
advertisement and was 80 inn
pressed by his fine clothes,
his distinguished air and his
representations Of himself as
a wealthy mine owner that she
married him three days after
she first saw him. Her home
is near Columbus, Mo.
The Marshall republican., 1907-08-23
Little Rock Picnic

In spite Of the threatening
weather a crowd of probably
1,5O0 gathered in the grave
near Little r 'ck last Thurs
day to enjoy the day. In the
afternoon the weather became
pleasant and enabled all to en-.
joy themselves To the limit.
The Gillian band outdid
itself by furnishing the best
Iof music.
The ball game between the
Marshall Merchants" and
Ehler Bros. nine was one of
the big attractions and those
interested in this sport were
not disappointed.
The Marshall boys were
badly beaten-s to O--and
didn't even score in the eight
Innings. Clemens. of Mar.
shall, did some fine pitching,
but the trouble was that the
Little Rock team did too much
scientific" catching, as but
very few balls fell to the earth
when Marshall was batting.
U. S. Hall president OF
Pritchett College of Glasgow,
made a splendid talk on "Ed:
ucation."
There were fireworks at
night. 7. NJ. Ehlers requests
US to state that owing to the
threatening weather they
failed to make proper arrange
ments for the foot race, wheel
barrow race and nail-driving
contest.
Altogether the picnic was
an enjoyable one that the
people of East Saline will look
forward to annually. Ehler
Bros. deserve credit for the
way in which they managed in
The editor was the guest or
A. G. Poister and family
Thursday night and was very
pleasantly entertained.
The Marshall republican., 1907-08-23
The Reason.

All sorts and conditions Of men
have excellent reasons for their
position in life. illustrated Bits
tells Of q tramp who had no illusion
about the cause Of his own con-
dition.
Mrs Fnehealth (at hotel en-
trance): No. ] have no money to
spare for you. / do not see why
an able-bodied man like you should
60 about begging.
Lazy Tramp:I s'pose, mum it's fer
about the same reason that a healthy
woman like you boards at a hotel,
instead Of keeping house.
The Marshall republican., 1907-08-23
Annual Reunion

The 9th annual Reunion OF
the surviving officers and SOL
diers of the 9th Mo. Cavalry
M. =. M. will be held IN the
city of Moberly on Thursday
and Friday, the 9th and 9th
af September 1907, where
i Is hoped and expected that
every survivor will be present
and answer to roll call.
I 7 B. Ross, Sect'y. /.
=. W. Stigall. Pres. Slater Mo
Cairo, Mo.
The Marshall republican., 1907-08-23

The popular and veil knows excur.
sious are now 10 OBJECT on Tho Only
Way" and viii continue Ia effect until
November. These excursions create
low fares 70 almost every point which
homsssekers Wish to resch In the
United States. The undersigned will
b glad 70 route you via lines which
will give you the best opportunity
Ut inspecting the country and making
your trips those Of pleasure % we'll
- profitable.
o. 3. Hawthorne,
Ticket Agent, Marshall.
The Marshall republican., 1907-08-23
Special Summer Tourist Fares

The Chicago 4 Alton r. r. has 10
effect every day from until Sept.
30, 1907, . ticket bssed on wharprscs q
cslly amounts to half rSsss 70 the
principal resorts 10 Canada, New
England and also the choicest sourisi
district 10 the state OF New York.
Before arranging definitely for sum.
mer vacations IL will pay you to &c,
into communication with.
O. Z. Hawthorne
Ticket Agent, Marshall.
The Marshall republican., 1907-08-23
Against his Grain.

Amos Carries wife rules him with
q rod Of IRON" This his friends
well know, and one evening lately,
when he joined the circle in Sam
Hsyward's grocery and showed no
amusement at Joe Piper's jest, they
knew that in his mind he was Q
tracing certain pninful domestic
incidents Of recent occurrence. On
being approached as to the cause
Of his silence, he explained that he
was down on his luck.
"P'r'aps you don't know your
luck,v suggested Joe Piper, wink
ing behind the back Of Amos at
the company generally.
There may be q thought too
much lemon in her." said Mr.. Hay
ward, driving straight to the mark.
But she has the courage Of the,
masculine gender"
$50 have i, II / was let to show
IT," Amos said, witha sigh. That's
the mischief of Il.
"If I'd been q weak man, ready
to knock under, and play second
fiddle without whimpering, It
wouldn't have mattered. But l
amt at all that sort Of kind Of man
by nature, and it hurts my feelings
like time to be made to do il.
The Marshall republican., 1907-08-23

Pineules are for the Kidneys and
Bladder. They bring quick relief 10
bscksche. rheumatism, lumbsgo, tired
worn out feeling. They produce
natural action Of the kidneys 10 filter.
log waste matter out OF the blood.
30 days treatment sl.oo. Money re.
funded II Pineules are not ~satisfsct-
DRY. Sold by p. Il. Franklin.
The Marshall republican., 1907-08-23

Hundreds Of people yearly 60
through painful operations needless.
'ly, because they never tried Man Zsn
Pile Remedy. II 10 put up 10 such Q
form that IL can be applied rigbtwhere
the trouble lies. II relieves the pain
and Inflammation. II 10 for sny form
Of piles. Price soc. Sold by p. II.
r rankin.
The Marshall republican., 1907-08-23
Want to Locate

VIM. Leimkubler and Fritz
Eikerman, OF Usage county,
we're guests Of H.. NJ. Meyer
this week and looking at the
country with a view Of locat.
ing If they find suitable farms.
The Marshall republican., 1907-08-23

j. ID. Walser, OF Z Iilege
Addition. Friday brought us
in "A cabbage bush" with ten
separate and distinct heads.
most OF them firm, but only
about the size of a chicken
egg.
o.. A. Barron, of Blue Lick,
and wife left Saturday after
noon on a visit to Mr.. Barron's
parents, at Drexel, Mo-, south
of Kansas City. They will
also visit other relatives.
Mrs. NJ. j. Drinkerd and
daughter, Miss Blanche, lett
Saturday for New Bloomfield
10 visit a month with Mrs.
Drinkard's brother, John W.
White, and sister, Mrs. Mary
Thomas.
Mrs. Julia Wright and son,
Sheridan. went 10 Kansas
City Saturday from where the
latter went to North Dakota
ON a visit TO his sister, Mrs.
Walter Odell, and will remain
for the summer.
G. L. Reppenhagen, one of
Marshsll's enterprising sad.
dlery men, started the first OF
the week on a combined bust
ness and pleasure trip. He
will lay in a new stock and
also take In the jamestown
Exposition before returning.
Henry Klinge, who is spend
ing the summer with his son,
Fred, and family at Shackle-
ford, called in Monday morn.
ing to see how the Republican
is getting along. He says he
expects TO return to st. Louis
this fall and continue making
that place hishome.
Frank Lisetor Saturday
brought Us q souvenir pro.
gram OF the dedication of the
Hillmsn ST. Christian Church
at Youngstown, Ohio,on Aug
ust 4th. Rev. Frank Draper,
the pastor, 10 his nephew and
Rev. +. NJ. Raines who official.
ed at the dedication is an old
Slater boy and well known in
Marshall. The church dedi-
Gated Is a handsome and mod
ern strnc -ure.
A gentleman from south of
town says he has recently had
two good buggy whips stolen
from his buggy while bitched
10 the rack on Morgan ST.,
aud that his neighbors have
had things stolen. He thinks
1t would be a good plan for
the Marshall police TO get off
The square at times to see
what's being done elsewhere.
1t might be we'll for them to
keep a watch and catch the
thieves in order to stop their
practice.
The Marshall republican., 1907-08-23
Deserted wife Is Penniless

st. Lonis, Aug. 1z.--Mrs.
Adelia Farris. Miller, who was
reduced from Independence to
poverty by the disappearasce
Of her husband Of three wseks!
Charles II. Miller, with draftsI
The Marshall republican., 1907-08-23
A Valuable Lesson

"Six years sgo I learned Q vslu.
sble lesson" writes John Pleasant, OF
Magnolia, Ind. ~ then began taking
DR.. Kings New Life Pills, and the
longer ! take them the betpsr I 6nd
them. They please everybody.
Guaranteed al p. n. Franklin, drug.
gist, 26c.
The Marshall republican., 1907-08-23

II you snfisr from bloating belching
sonr stomach. Indigestion or Dyspep.
sis take . Rings Dyspspsis Table.
sitter each meal and overcome the
d~issgreesble trouble. u will improve
the appetite and aid digestion. Sold
by p. b. Franklin.
The Marshall republican., 1907-08-23

Headache and constipation dissp-
pear when Rings Little, Liver Pills
bro used. They keep the gyssem clean
hs stomach sweet. Taken occasion.
ally they keep you we'll. They are
cortthe entire family. Sold by p. h.
Franklin,s
The Marshall republican., 1907-08-23
LOCALS.

NJ. Ballinger was a callel
from near Napton Monday.
W. NJ. Thomas,of Stanbope.
was a Marshall caller Satur.
day.
Otto Hopkins, of Mexico, Is
visiting his uncle, L. II,
Hightsboe.
r. NJ. Poage, Of Monroe
county, IS WHITING II. b. Vaw.
ter and family.
Mrs. Y. N. Heifner went to
Keokyk. Iowa, last week on q
visi)'to homefolks.
Nm. Bauer, OF Salt Springs,
left Tuesday for Boise City,
Idaho, on a prospecting trip.
Col. T. NJ. Horne, Of the
Blackwater News made US a
pleasant call Monday morn.
ing.
II. NJ. Mitchell and wife had
a new son arrive at their
home south of town on the
10Th.
r. H. Gaines, of Louisville,
KY. IS visiting his sister,
Mrs. j. Il. Vardeman, north
OF town.
Mr.. and Mrs f.. A.. Larpe,.
Of sonth Of town are the proud
parents of a girl that arrived
on the 18th.
Mrs. A. j. Estes and daugh-
ter, of Columbia, are visiting
the formers sister, Mrs. Geo.
II. Althouse.
The New Frankfort Sunday
School gave its picnic at Will
ming's grove last Thursday
and report a fine time.
Mrs. b. E. Staples, OF Mel.
son. was Saturday reported
by E. T. Ault, as being very
low Of bowel complaint.
Miss Dolores Campbell left
Monday morning for Lamine
TO visit Miss Ethel Davis and
attend the fair at Boonville.
J. r. Thomas Saturday sold
the Paulsmeyer farm that he
purchased recently TO S. W.
Campbell, of Kansas City.
Mr.. and Mrs. Ralph Stock
ing, of May6eld, Kas., visited
the l~atter's parents, Mr.. and
Mrs. Vim. Mitchell, this week.
Vim. Reid, the l,veryman.
was down from Excelsior
Springs several DAYS last
week. He Is well pleased
with his new home.
r. A. McGrath and niece.
MISS May McGratb, left Sat
urday on a western trip for
the benefit of the latter's
health.
Mrs. W. B. Richardson and
daughter, Of Gillian, visited
her parents, Mr.. and Mrs.
J,P. Fulkerson at Salt Springs
over Sunday.
W. J. Mabrey is back from
q years stay at Pouron, /. T.,
and says that section OF coun-
try had poor crops this year.
He will remain in Saline.
Mr.. and Mrs, +. W. Gwipn,
and Mrs. J. ". McCurdy left
Friday for their home 10 Pslo|
Alto, Csl.. after = visit 70 rel
ssives n ssliee and LafAyetts|
counties.
The Marshall republican., 1907-08-23
A Correction

We published an item sew.
'eral weeks ago that Lawson
Roberts, OF Little Rock bad
sold his farm through Ehler
Bros. to Jesse Hensick. We
have been asked TO correct
this statement a. Mr.. Roberts
says It il . mistake. 4
The Republican and the
1wiee-a-wsek GLOBE a
csat sl.6o ~ year.
The daily tribune., 1907-09-20

The Tribune for best job printing.
The daily tribune., 1907-09-20

~ Trsbsns want oe,unas.
The daily tribune., 1907-09-20
MRS. N. A. MADDEN TO
OPEN DANCING CLASS

Mrs. NJ. A. Madden from the Mad
den Dancing Academy in Pueblo.
will open dancing class next Tue &.
day evening Sept. Gath at the Nor.
gan hall. Those desiring lessons in
any ball room dance may call Tues.
day afternoon or evening and make
appointments for either private les
sions, private class lessons or enroll
in regular class.
Mrs. Madden comes to the city with
the best of references and recon-
mendations as a teacher of dancing,
having taught with her husband for
over three years in Pueblo, who ID
recognized as one of the best teachers
in the state.
Later in the season Mr.. and Mrs.
Madden will give about two invita-
tional assemblies n month at which
they will cater only to the best people
of the city and therefore solicit their
patronage. Glass opens promptly at
7;30 Tuesday.
The daily tribune., 1907-09-20
CATCHES A PORCUPIHE
ON The FRONT PORCH

While purusing the columns Of the
Evening Tribune last night, Julius
McCandless who lives on West Sew
enth street, was startled by peculiar
noise on the rear porch Of his dwell
ing. Not being accustomed to hear
such noises in his quiet neighborhood
lie deliberated with himself as to
whether to go to the door to ascertain
the cause. Seizing Winchester
shotgun he made his appearance at
the rear door but by this time tie
originator Of the noise moved itself to
the front door and scratched at the
screen as If demanding admittance
into the McCandless household.
. Injecting several cartridges into the
magazine II the gun and cooking the
hammer, Mr.. McCandless was prepar-
ed to give battle to the biggest thing
that ever lived, but upon opening the
door found that the owner Of the
quaint sound was just little animal.
The moon was shining brightly but
not bright enough 40 that he could
descern Of what specie the animal
belonged. He first thought 1t might
be pole cat and then lie thought It
might be n Teddy bear, but upon
closer investigation 1t WAS found to
be nothing moro or less than porcu-
pine, but attacking q I,orcupine is bad
enough for most people. The back Of
these animals Is covered with hun.
dre ds of needle like quills and when
fighting throw the quilts in all dircc-
tions.
Mr. McCandless WAS determined to
make catch and went ut the cap.
turo In n business like way. First
he placed looped wire over Mr..
Porcupine and then dcxtcriously
covered the animals head with n
gunny rack. The porcupinc surrend.
dered and II was then placed In =
rate. Mr.. McCnndless feels proud OF
his conquest and IN shaking hands
with himself that lie did not run face
TO face with u treacl,erous elephant
or foxy mouse.
The daily tribune., 1907-09-20
LOST A SHOTGUN
AND GOT no DUCKS

M B. Robinson, the jovial super.
intendent of the United Oil company,
went down to the river to bag few
ducks yesterday afternoon. His own
shotgun being out of order, he hor.
rowed the one owned by ]. ]. Niece,
another high mucky muck for the
United.
Ducks were not any too plentiful
on the river, but after scanning the
water and the sky closely for more
than an hour, saw couple Of the
feathered tribe across the river. Mrs
Robinson made the superintendent
promise her that he would bring home
some ducks for supper and upon n''seeipg
the ones across the stream, NJ. B.
filed himself with determination to
maze killing.
so he started across the river to get
u CiOSoI siioI ht tIle DlruS Dut the
water WAS deeper than he figured on
and he was once or twice nearly car.
ried UNDER In making a fight for
escape he dropped Mr.. Meece's shot.
gun and allowed it to sink to the bot
tom Of the stream. Shotguns were
not 80 valuable then as was a human
life and he preferred saving the lat.
ter, and he did so successfully.
In consequence of the experience
Mr.. Meecc has been told to buy
brand new shotgun. the best in the
market being none too good and
charge it to NJ. b. Mr.. Robinson,
not to be daunted by the adventure,
says he is going duck hunting again
some time and and the next bunch Of
ducks he sees will be made to pay for
yesterdays experience.
The daily tribune., 1907-09-20

10 HERE NOW-O. l.. Gibbs re.
turned last night from Denver where
he bought new Ford automobile
for Dr. Cummings. 1t In a two.seat
machine and the rear seat folds.
This makes nineteen autos In Flor.
ence according to = computation made
this morning
The daily tribune., 1907-09-20
Lame Back.

This Is an ailment FOR which
Chamberlain's Pain Balm has proven
especially valuable In almost every
instance 1t affords prompt and perma.
nent relief. Mr.. Luke Grange Of
Orange, Mich, says Of it: after us.
ing plaster and other remedies for
three weeks for bad lame back,
purchased bottle Of Chamberlain Is
Pain Balm, and two applications
effected cure For sale by Dan.
iels Drug store. mwf
The daily tribune., 1907-09-20
John Houston
Wall Paper. Paint, Glass, Oil
varnish, Brushes and Paint.
srs' Supplies. los 3. Main.
We$t eud FEED Store
Tor RoejIAal< C>al

All kinds Of Hay and Grain, the
very best that oan b obtained.
Ny prices are always In line.
l wish 70 thank you oil for past
favors. When In need Of any
thing In ~ line call up 77l Red
and x)sdp my bsst % please You
in 9ua! = peiaeA - l. X
z: /: +: F''': g 'i';'i !: 4
The daily tribune., 1907-09-20

There will be Dime Social in the
basement of the Methodist church
Friday evening under the auspices Of
the ". G. 7. U. to which everybody
is cordially invited. Refreshments
Will be served. 15.1G