davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-07-02
How 1t Pays.

Yours is great city" remarked one one of the first arrivals through the new passenger station. Every time l come to Birmingham revelation is pre- sented to me Last night when my train rolled into the new station l could hardly realize that l was in Birmingham, and really it was only thirty days ago that 1 paid my last visit to your town That station, though as yet unfinished1~ presents metropolitan apeps rance and looks much New Yorkish.
 "I thought to myself how Birmingham does grow under the influence of new en- terprises. Just think of the passing throng that comes and goes and must pay duty to transfer men, lunch counters and ho- tels, all by virtue of great new sta ton at the eastern end of the town.
 And again l notice that, as if by magic, business institutions are drawn to the east end of the town, and yet you do not see a loss from the old center. It all simply means growth, expansion, more work for more men and increased wealth for Bir- mingham,"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-07-02
Defends Poor Writino.

Kenneth said Birmingham father, who is proud of and ambitious for his young boy, you write an awfully bad hand and I cannot read it."
 The boy had just hlnded him we'll written, well-spelled and well-punctuated epistle to a friend, but the chrography was somewhat difficult of ordinary in depreciation.
 Well, father" replied the boy, T am hardly responsible for your inability to read. One time could not do so myself, but in a short time I learned how to do it. You told me I must.
 You told me to study hard and you footed the bills Now, with all due def erence and without offering baby advice, you must learn to read, even the hand writing of such great men as Horace Greeley, the journalist and Rufus Choate, the great Boston lawyer. Of these have read and studied. and want to be like them. Only few men could read their manuscript, and they know nothing of tho modern type'writing machine. I am no machine.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-07-02

only. A big crop is well-nigh impos- slble. The boil weevil in Texas, and a reduced acreage everywhere forbid a full crop,
 The wheat crop Is also spotted" " and threshing returns are awaited with interest. The harvesting of winter wheat has been begun. The outlook is increasingly hopeful, and that Is about all that can be prudently said about the crop. Spring wheat is coming on fairly, and the corn crop is making ex- cellent progress.
 The entire crop prospect is better than it was thirty days ago, but the output of neither wheat nor cotton will be 2 record breaker.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-07-02
The Morris Hotel,

"It has been announced" said a visiting man from Atlanta, that Scoville Bros have leased the Morris hotel for term of ten years, and will refit and refurnlsh 1t from bottom to top. Birmingham should be gratified at this announcement It means that the present excellent hotels of your city will be supplemented by one like unto them; that the Morris shall re- sume its old time position, and that the much crowded condition of first-class apartments for the traveller and the so- journer will be relieved at least for a time.
 "Scoville Bros. are hotel men to the manor born, and are we'll known through out the south. From Richmond, Atlanta, Jacksonville and many watering places they will bring with them words of com mendation and from Anniston and other Alabama points as well.
 "All travelling men, as well as the peo- pie of Birmingham, will be glad to see the Hotel Morris resume its life and activity and display its proverbial hospitality"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-07-02
NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY!
the Washington Herald.

From the Washington Herald.
 They are telling a good story in Eng fish army circles apropos of General Lord wolseley's intense dislike of swearing. He was very strict against it. and off, cers were careful not to offend him when he was anywhere about He was on a tour of inspection through an Irish garri- son whose commander was hard swear CT, veteran of the mutiny days, whose early habits had clung to him. This com mander, of course, had his troops out for Lord Wolseley's inspection, and the pa rade was progressing satisfactorily, when the commander gave the bugler an order to sound the charge" To his intense consternation, the bugler blew the ''re- treat" The commander could hardly re- strain himself: his face grew purple with rage, and he braced himself for the usual outburst of profanity. But before he could get started he caught Lord Wolse- ley's eye on him and he choked the paths back. Yet, somehow, he had to give vent to his feelings. He loked blankly around, dug his spurs into his horse, and, riding to the unhappy bugler, he yelled at the top of his voice: "Oh, you naughty, naughty bugler"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-07-02
An Unknown Author.

You must imagine my surprise for cannot attempt to express it," said a man in discussing books, when I tell you that native born American citizen told me a few days ago he had never read nor heard of The Autocrat of the Breakfast Table nor The Professor at the Break fast Table. l could not help pitying such a man.
 Go at once and buy them, they can be had for 10 cents each, and tell mo what you think of them the next time We meet l said to him, and today he held me up on the street corner for more than an hour while he poured forth a torrent of autocracisms.
 T mention this fact in the hope that l may turn peoples minds away from the slushy, mushy twaddle that is being poured out upon the world today under the name of current fcton.' In fact the only redeeming feature about such fiction is that it is current and the more cur rent the better. When Andrew Carnegie said that no book was worth reading that wasn't more popular at ten years of age than at ten weeks he may not have se- cured the approval of the literary profess sion, but he earned the thanks of a nause- ated reading public.
 Tn my humble opinion there's more wit. more wisdom, more subject matter for reflection, or what l would call thought food in one page of Oliver Wen dell Holmes books than in wagon load of this current literature. As an instructor in good manners Holmes has the happy art of holding the mirror up to vulgarty so perfectly as to make the original shudder at his own reflection.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-07-02
IDlosYNcRAslEs OF THE SHAH.

From the Washington Herald
 Now that they are taking an inventory of the jewels and possessions or the late Shaw of Persia, and talking much about his great wealth, a Washingtonian re- calls the visit of the Shah to England in 1879 He was made much of at the time and all he saw about progressive England astonshed him. He was taken to Wormwood Scrubs, one of the govern ment prisons, and was shown the scaf- fold where murderers were hanged. He was much interested in the apparatus. and wanted the government to hang a murderer offhand, so that he might see how it worked. When they told him that they had no condemned men, the picking out one of the minor members of his suite for the sacrifice. He was keenly disappointed when the British off cials declined to execute the man.
 The Washington man referred to was at the Paddington station of the Great Western railway when the Persian po- tentate took the train for Windsor. Be- jeweled and glittering, the monarch walk ed to his special train, carrying in his hand huge bag of ripe English cherries. He had just discovered the fruit, and he could not set enough of 1t. He ate cherries all the way down the line, and. not being particular, 1t is said that he swallowed the stones. At any rate the newspapers were filled next day with ac- counts of the Queens distinguished guest having been made i'll by a surfet of cherries.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-07-02
BERLIN'S MARRIAGE FAIR

ever, because before the time arrived to make good some one smote him on the head with an uncorked bottle of win or dinaire. and "the subsequent proceedings interested him no more."
 Marie, when the hand clapping and cheering that greeted her appearance had subsided, essayed to make speech. But the bachelors didn't want one. Some bibulous swains rushed in upon her, and, mounting her shoulder high, started to carry her through the crowd. It was then that her knight errant was laid out But Marie proved able to take care of herself. She kicked out hard and one of the men who was carrying her got blow in ths eye that made him see stars. They dropped her like 0 hot potato
 She dived into the Cafe du Casino and from the balcony proceeded to harangue the crowd in a sentimental speech that she had got on by heart. Too full of liquor to listen. the crowd roared and swayed and poor Marie, with tears in her eyes, and her little snub nose getting red. der, cried: "Oi doucement, messeurs, doucementr' But there was no gentleness left in that crowd. The wild crew dashed in and smashed all the nice tarles which had been laid for bachelor-spinster tea in the market square. Then they seized whatever women they could lay hands on and forced them to vote in a mock cleo ton for husbands. No soft, sweet vows were interchanged, but there was lot of cursing.
 In the midst of the tunuft storm burst. Rain came down in torreuts. drenohing the devotees of Bacchus into a semhdance of sobriety, washing the red hearts off the window panes and playing the dsucs with tho frflls and fnery of tho marriageable maAdsrof Dcaussines,
 I had seen enorgh of the Belgian nar- rfage market to last mo Q lifetime. Pick ing my way through hortes of besgarz I made for the railway station and en- tered the train for Brussels.
 There is nothing idyilic about the Ecaus- sines matrimonial fair. It is just an ex- cuse for spree. It brings money to the place, and on that account, pDobahfy. xEfli be kept up year after year. And theee wfl always be unmarried maidcns ssnough in Ecaussfnes to make & show. ! am Borxy that their matrimonial prospects are a slim. But, having seen them, ] don't wonder at it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-07-02
ORIGINAL TOM SAWYER.

From the Washington Herald.
 Out in Paris, Monroe county, Missouri, lives B. c. M. Farthing, who. according to well informed people, was the model for Mark Twain's famous Tom Sawyer. MT. Farthing himself does not lay claim to this honor, but modestly admits that, in his youth. It is quite possible that he possessed all the characteristics of MT. Clemens immortal boy hero, and, possi- bly, few of those of 'Huck' Finn, as well. He is inclined to the opinion, how ever, that Tom was a composite creatiois Anyway" he said to a newspaper man the other day, "Ill be satisfied so long as some one doesn't try to prove that I am the original 1njun Joe I draw the line on Joe.
 MT. Farthing, who devotes his days 10 his trade of carpentering and his spare time to writing the history of his life, says that the thrilling experiences of Tom Sawyer, Becky, and "Injun Joe" in the cave were founded on fact. The cave In question was owned by pr. c. J. Me Dowell, an eccentric character of St. Louis and was located near Hannibal, Mo. The doctor disliked the talk about his cave so much that he walled 1t up, but curious people broke down the impro- vised door and explored it's depths. This xecursion excited the younger generation, and one night a party of boys, headed by Young Clemens, and including Farthing, went in to see the little dead girl for themselves. They found what appeared to be the swsylng coffin all right, and were so frightened that they fled in continently, and ultimately lost them selves in the recesses of the cave. After several hours the thoroughly scared boys were rescued by their elders, and day or two later the mystery of the coffin and its contents, swinging by chains from the roof of the save was explained. The ec- centric doctor had borrowed a corpse from, A medical college and placed it in the cave to test the petrifactive qualities of the underground waters. So 1t appears that Twain's story of the wanderings of Tom and Becky had at least a partial foun- datiOn in fact
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-07-02
Hopeful Business Prospect

The failure of New York city to place a loan of s29,o0o,OOO at per cent and a continuance of gold ex- ports point one way, while favorable crop news and the disbursement of heavy July dividends and interest point the other way. A more hopeful spirit has sprung up in speculative circles, and there are not lacking those in Wall street who predict a boom.
 While the time Is not ripe for boom, yet all feel that the time has come for an improved condition in the investment world, and for more op- timistic opinions in all branches of trade and in all industries. There may not and should not be an active spec ulation in stocks, but the slowing down of general business Is giving capital chance to catch up. We have been doing more business than our aggregate capital warranted, and con ditions are becoming normal.
 We will have good crop surpluses to sell this fall, and sanity begins to reign in the railroad offices. B. F. Yoakum is leading the way to railroad common sense. The adjustment of the amount of business to the available supply ot money is not a small task, but 1t has been started, and as It progresses an improvement in trade will become manifest. Let us hope 1t will not be narred or checked by any attempt to institute any special activity In specu- lation. A boom of any sort would be misit at the present time. A slow, steady, healthful improvement in gen eral business is, however, in order and there are not lacking signs of 1t.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-07-02
MT. Bowie and MT. Bryan

The special Washington correspond ent of the Memphis Commercial-Ap. peal reports ex-Congressman Bowie, as follows:
 We have nothing good to expect from the republicans, and Bryan, who seems to be in command of our forces, has about fixed our doom for 19OS First, it was rail road ownership, and next it was the ini- tiatiye and referendum, a great deal worse. It looks as though we shall havs to wait until the clouds roll by"
 If to carry out the will of the people be the ideal of true democracy, then indeed MT Bryan has never swung away from the democratic party for the initiative and referendum Is the short and direct road. MT. Bryan has never made federal ownership of rail roads an issue. He has simply sug' gested that the injunction mill may lead to that at some time in the dim and hay future. But he is committed to direct action by the people-to the primary and to its logical running mate, the initiative and referendum.
 MT. Bowie has forgotten perhaps what the democratic party-not of Ore gon, but Of Alabama--did in it's last convention held September 10 last. In the first plank of it's platform it re- affirmed the Declaration of Independ- ence, written by that rare old demo- crat, Tom Jefferson, and it's second plank reads as follows:
 That we endorse all essential princi pies and policies advocated by democ- racys great leader, William Jennings Bryan, especially his arraignment of trusts, private monopoies and the abuses of public service corporations. We pro- claim him the greatest democrat of our time and believe in his overwhelming elec- ton as president of the United States. We indorse him as the standard bearer of our party in 1908.
 This is an indorsement by the dem- ocratic party of Alabama of the initia- tive and referendum. So far as the primary is concerned, the convention in it's thirtieth platform spoke as fol lows: t@
 We favor the nomination of United States senators and all state and county officers by a plurality vote in primary election"
 The election of John H. Bankhead as Senator is thus rendered binding upon all democrats in this state, and the initiative and referendum logically receives at the same time a second affirmation.
 Mr Bowie should get back into the democratic bandwagon, driven in Ala bama just at present by that veteran and well-seasoned Jehu, John Hollis Bankhead His departure therefrom in the course of trip to Washington was no doubt unpremeditated and in cidental and possibly it may turn out that he was not correctly reported. Newspaper men are, strange to say, fallible like the rest of their kind, in- cluding ex-Congressmen.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-07-02
THE BRIDE SALUTED.

From the Bullock County Breeze.
 One day recently Judge Singleton was called upon to perform the marriage cere- mony for a dusky couple, in his office. After teng the connubial knot hard and fast in his never-get-loose style. he com manded the groom to salute his bride. With becoming modesty the groom hesi- tated blushing a beautiful black. The bride. noticing his embarrassment, hung herself around his neck and gave him a swipe that sounded like the last subsiding groan of a suction pump s the handle sinks to its place. This performance not only restored his self-possession. but con vinced him that he possessed another self, and. remarkins, shell do,' they depart ed in peace, and are till so. so far as we know.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-07-02
It Pays 10 Advertise

.rtainly pays to advertise in The
 erald, for a moderate investment Dnter's ink enabled the owners of
 tain Terrace to sell last Saturday
 lots, aggregating in value some ! over $140,000. Less than forty Ire unsold. The manner in which Enterprise was advertised did It. fly good advertising could accom- Mike results near Norwood or in 8.ton or in a dozen other locali- h Jones Valley. Mountain Terrace l a part of this city. It is near 1t, snat was inducement enough when Is supplemented with good adver- !.
 fton is growing and September Is Laching. Pig iron is firmly held in the midsummer months. The Ee of this district have no chance le pessimistic, for every foot of in it is appreciating in value. ;e who think corner lots will soon begging do not understand the sbrinciples of the situation. We Making pig iron at thirty furnaces we are glowing cotton to beat the 1. and the man who advertises will he man who will gather the incre- ti be it earned or unearned.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-07-02
lew York's New Commission

.e New York public utilities bill !, for two commissions of five men b, and Governor Hughes ransacked state to find men of caaacity and sgrity. The salary of each commis- her is s15,OO0 a year, and this has n the governor Of New York a .ty good opportunity in his search
 rst-class men. His appointments follows:
 st District Greater New York)-Wil- 2. WIic0x, chairman; William Mo roll, Edward NJ. Bassett Milo Roy Itbie. John E. Eustis.
 scond District (all other counties). = Apk W. Stevens, Jamestown, chairman; Mott Osborne, Auburn; Charles
 Keep, Buffalo; James E. Sague, Hamburg; Martin S. Decker.
 hartman Wilcox is the present post ster of New York city, and MT. ltbie is secretary of the art commits n of that city. Messrs. Bassett and .Ns are lawyers, and Mir. McCarroll sident of the leather trust. The te commission is made up of rho are well and favorably known respective localities. The New lines is inclined to like the two ssions because they are made Business men or lawyers who, conspicuous, are at least of good g in their communities" There ' one practical railroad man in
 are list of ten commissioners
 e, and he is not widely known.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-07-02
DAYS THAT ARE NO MORA

From The Princess" Tears. idle tears, I know not what fheZ
 mean, Tears from the depth of some divine dss
 spair Rise in the heart and gather to tho eyes. In looking on the happy autumn neid4 And thinking of the days that arU 'n1
 more Fresh as the first beam giftterns cn .
 sail. That brings our friends up from tho nn<
 derworld, Sad as the last which reddens over one That sinks with all we love below the
 verge; So sad, so fresh, the days that q more An, sad and strange as in dark r.
 dawns The earliest pipe of half-awaken'f TO dying ears, when unto dying The easement slowly grows T'f'
 square; So sad so strange, the days |,
 more. lDear as remember'd kisses fAnd sweet as those by ho feign'd kN lips that are for others; Dekp as first love. and
 regrets o Aeath in Life. the aays nors
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-07-02
ALABAMA PRESS

Bullock Breeze: The youth of today looks on a broader sky line than his sires ever dreamed of.
 Hartselle Enquirer: Professed friend ship is one thing and actual war prepare ton another. Your Uncle Sam is not asleep
 Sheffield Standard: We would suggest that some one inaugurate a strike against the striker. He is becoming burdensome to business.
 Huntsville Tribune; The "habitual booz- er' and the "vag' get little comfort when they arrive" before Huntsville's mayor. His ears are not attuned to fairy tales of the 'I wuz workin' kind.
 Montgomery Advertiser: Col. Waiter son calls the democratic party "an empty bottle without a la bel" We doubt if even the versatile Kentuckian himself can de- wise label that will fit the present con- dition of the party.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-07-02
Banner State for pefalcations.

"Pensylvania, the rotten political bor- ough, is the banner state as to defalca- tions,' said the statistician.
 Just think of it, of the eighteen mill lions oe peculations of all kinds last year. over ten millions of it occurred in Penn syivania, as against three millions in New York. Pennsylvania has the reputa- ton of the greatest graft steal in the state capitol that has yet been dscov- cred
 Well, the south is democratic. but honest by comparison with the rotten st-ongholds of republicanism. not to for ge. poor, accursed San Francisco in the summing up."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-07-02
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
JUST so.

JUST so. If twenty monkeys in a tree
 Were quickly changed to men, We venture the opinion that
 They'd wonder some and then Proceed to do just as they did
 Before the change took place, For many men are monkeys who
 Don't wear a monkeys facel Governor Vardaman denies that he has been converted. We hoped to meet him in heaven.
 THE TROUBLE TWINS. Work and Worry.
 Fifteen divorces were granted in fifteen minutes by a Louisville court, which is every bit as fast as a man could take fifteen drinks.
 A rural correspondent speaks of a snake as an "ophdian." There are some smart people in this world.
 WHEN IT COMES TO LIVING. I'd rather be a hobo than a boated mil
 ionaire, Whose days are full of misery and nights
 are full of care. He may have lots of luxuries and live
 in pretty style, But there is something turning up to vex
 him all the while. Reformers roast him for his wealth and
 leave him feeling blue Because he had the luck to raise mil
 lion bones or two. His health goes back upon him when the
 game is getting good And as for having healthy fun, he
 couldn't, tho he would. The hobo, on the other hand, is seldom
 troubled by Inquisitors from daily sheets. who stand
 him up and try To make him talk about himself, altho
 he hates the way Snug writers criticize him in the papers
 every day. Instead, he simply floats around and
 dreams while others work. The only care upon this earth he has Is
 just to shirk Responsibilities and all the weighty things
 that make One half of life a dreary grind, the other
 half fake. Gentleman named O. Helle reminds us of the time when we tried to get cer- tain number over the telephone and couldn't
 Washington newspaper introduces poet who sings that he is tired. Gee whiz, that's nothing new! What has a peace conference to do with the shape of a bullet? Thrty-six chickens, intended for a Sun day dinner, were stolen from a Fifth ave- nue boarding house. The pathos of that
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-07-02
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.

FTOm Cf1e NtW lUTh TTVSS.
 When girl has green eyes it's a sign she believes they are baby blue.
 The only flaw in woman's pleasure in a good cry is it makes her nose red
 Rocking chairs are convenient things to teach you to swear by barking your shins on them in the dark.
 They are stays when there is an extra charge of seven dollars on them for hand embroidery or something.
 Next to pluning himself on his ances- try, a man can best amount to nothing by being careful his clothes are the height nk kaAhion.