davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1907-09-04
HIS INTERESTED FRIEND.

Excuse me dat I dOn'ta max
You welCom' here, SignOr.
You see, / 'fraid for max meestak';
/ gotta stung bayfore.
Ees notta many 'Merican-
o. vera, vera few
Dat com to dees peanutta-stan'
An say "Hello" like you.
You speak so fine, you know so mooch,
Ees hard for me to see
Wat for you want be fraIid weeth sooch
A dumba man like me.
Las week grand man like you ees. com
An maka frandly so
I am so prOud-but o. so dumb
I tai heem all I know
He ees so eenterest cen me
An speak so kind. so sweet,
! am so proud as I can be
An bTag a leetla beet.
I tai how mooch I mako a day
An wat I 'savin', too.
An weeth my btgga mout' I say
More theengs dan wat ees true
Now, who you s'pose ees dees unknown,
Good, kinda frand to me?
Fees president for bank dat own
All deesa property!
Today dees kinda man he sent
To me hees agent man,
To say I gotta pay more rent
For dees peanutta-stan'.
BaycauSe I max so beeg meestak'
An gotta stung bayfoTe
Escuse me eef I don'ta max
Mooch talk weeth you, Signor.
IT A. DAILY, in Catholic STANDARD
and Timek
The Washington times., 1907-09-04
TAMNANY LEADER
RAVES ON STEAMER

NEW YORK, Sept. an from a aerv-
Gus affection, Florence ]. Sullivan.
known on the East Side as "Florrie"
Sullivan, Tammauy leader OF the old
Eighth nov the ELEVENTH. assembly
district, arrived from Cherbourg on the
Kronprinz Wilhelm. OF the North Ger
man Lloyd line.
1t was only through the protestations
of Judge Herman Joseph, in whose COM
pany Sullivan came, that the latter,
after an outbreak that lasted nearly all
day Monday. was not placed in q
strait-jacket by the ships surgeon.
During that time Sullivan attempted to
jump overheard. and frightened Mrs
william K Vanderbilt. Jr, so that she
left the promenade deck Then Sullivan
dictated messages TO be sent to Presi-
dent Roosevelt to inform him that he
would carry the Eleventh district
solid" but not for Roosevelt.
While Little Tim Sullivan was
busily engaged IL informing inqulrers
that AL stories about Florrie are q
pure fake" there were many passengers
on the liner who saw his strange
actions. among them being the physi-
clans who cared for the Bowery poll
tician because the latter feared the
ships surgeons would poison him.
The Washington times., 1907-09-04

some Of them don't. I say 10 front,
III give you - cents for that ticket
Sometimes even pay a half dollar
for one. That means that I take that
party's grip upstairs, and II he wants
a drink I get him that. II he's the
kind I've sized him up for he tips me a
case note at least and l don't make
any mistakes. I never have"
'But what has all this got 10 do with
this case?" the magistrate asked I'M
patiently
why. just this. your honor. When
I see that guy that asked for the
Neuve CliquOJ With mint IN the glasses
come to the desk. I says 10 front III
buy that ticket of you and he says
You're on and / gets II for quarter
and the guy gives me two bones after
l see him 10 his room and bring him and
his friend another pint That makes
me friend here sore, and
Discharged the MAGISTRATE threw
in, cutting of MOran's sentence alb
rurtly
- The name even OF the youth who had
got the summons never had a chance to
appear, let alone his story.
The Washington times., 1907-09-04
Away From the Pike.

The owner of much ground in one
of our leading suburbs noted the
sale the other day OF about $4,000
worth of that property. The best
part of it." he said. lis that the
transaction included four front
lots" Are front lots hard to sell?"
asked his friend. Il should say they
WERE" was the answer. Then, sig
Difcantly, he spoke the one word
Automobiles"
For the time being it is probable
the real estate market has been af-
fected as this land-holder indicates.
The road engine is too new thing
to be run with unvarying caution
On the contrary, it is frequently run
with a superior disregard for all
other users of the thoroughfare.
Again, improper feeding Of gasolene
leaves the air behind many cars
heavy with partially consumed
hydro-carbon, i'll smelling, binding,
lasting.
All this can and viii be remedied
with time. The driver of the car
will not long be content with feed
ing away a gallon Of fluid for every
nine miles when he notes the aver
age published in this paper Sunday
and Monday of 1s.5 miles through
out an average run of 1861 miles.
He has learned. as a type, the ad-
vantage to himself of considering
the rights of pedestrians and other
vehicles. He will learn that lesson
better and better as the years pass,
until-sooner than many of US
think-he will either be generally
unnoticed on the road or he viii
have speedways for his exclusive
use.
\ more interesting thing to note
is the suburbanite's inclination to
build his country home away from
the main road. Abroad, the ten
dency is TO make ones dwelling Pri-
vate. Here, with our social instinct
and our sometime lack of neigh
bors, we have come to build right
against the fence of the pike.
We shall be happier in our coun-
try places when we are away from
the song of the trolley and the dust
of the roadway. We shall strengthen
our home life when we learn how
not only to make our homes more
beautiful, but to enjoy more fully
what beauty is already there. In
that light it is much 10 be doubted
if any of these people who are now
building away from the country
roads to escape possible discomfort
through the automobile viii ever
regret their action.
The Washington times., 1907-09-04
The Truth About Wrecks.

y plain. matter-of-fsct, common
sense reform is ordered for the
State Of New York by its public
utilities commission. The news col
umns state it as follows;
The commission requires that immedi-
ate notice by telegraph shall be sent of
all accidents resulting in loss of life to
passengers and employees. all accidents
occurring at grade crossings resulting in
death or serious injury to any person,
all deratlments of passenger trains or
locomotives or cars in passenger trains,
all collisions involving freight or pas
senger trains, whether resulting in loss
of lie or not. all explosions OF locomO-
tive boilers, and all accidents 10 locomo-
tive boilers resulting in death or serious
injury 20 any person, and all bridge
failures.
Some railroads, notably the
Southern, have appreciated the
utter futility of attempts at sup
pressing news of wrecks. But many
have made the trial as a regular
practice The consequence has
been the publication by honest
The Washington times., 1907-09-04
Cat SqUaHoqUs Needle and Thread:
Hospital Surgeons SAGE It's Life
After Others Fail to Extract Steel

NEW YORK, Sept. 4.-There was an
interesting operation performed at
Bellevue Hospital-perhaps not OF i'm
portance TO the medical or surgical
world. but Of vast Importance TO the
McGrath family and TO "Tootie," a little
black cat.
''Tootie." who might have been named
after an automobile horn or a locomo-
tive whistle. has been a pet IN the Nc
Grath family ever since last February.
One cold night in February Captain
McDermott, OF the East Twenty-second
street police station, hshed ''Tootie"
out Of a snowbank. where she was fast
freezing 10 death.
Marc McGrath. police reporter, was
in the station soon after, and Captain
AIcDermott gave the cat 70 him Since
then "Tootie" has endeared herself 10
the McGrath ramily by her clever tricks
and affectiona,a disposition
There was CONSERVATION, therefore,
The Washington times., 1907-09-04
URGENT NEED OF QUARTERS
FOR GOVERNMENT employees
TO GET SOUND THRESHING
of Next Con
gress viii Wage War
Against Excessive
Rents.

The Governments annual losses
through having TO pay immense rents
will be the subject of even greater dis
cussion In the next session Of Congress
than was the case In the last session.
Officials Of each executive department
are armed with statistics intended to
show Congress the crying need for
erecting buildings to accommodate the
Governments work and workers.
Pay Heavy Rents.
The departments IN Washington have
during the last year been occupying 134
private structures. at an aggregate an
nual renal OF 1886, Ss2.7s, equivalent 10
the interest at 6 per cent on an invest
ment Of Ss.4Ss. 1926 a year.
The Department OF Commerce and
Labor is greatly IN need of a new build
ing. as are the State Department and
the Department of Justice. There are
other departments the work of which
is seriously cramped by lack OF space,
which not only scatters the work OF
coordinate divisions IN different build
ings. but subjects many clerks 70 work
ing quarters in dark rooms and in some
cases cellar-iike quarters. which would
not be tolerated In an up-to-date com
merciaI establishment.
There has beer pending in Congress
for nearly two years a bill providing for
the purchase, at a cost of SO 900. 90. Of
several blocks Of ground south of the
intersection OF Fifteenth street and
Pennsylvania avenue. for public build
ing purposes. This property could have
been purchased during the last two
years with the principal represented by
the amount paid IN rentals during the
same period
II the amount paid IN rentals were
capitalized the principal represented
would provide within nine years a new
building for every Government depart
ment worth S. .500. 600. Some Of these
facts have Just begun 70 dawn upon
Congressman, but the situation has not
The Washington times., 1907-09-04
TOWNS MISSING"
ON WEATHER MAP
NOT REALLY LOST
Small Places Seriously At
fected by Telegraph
Operators Strike.
Difficulty Experienced in
Securing Reports for Gov
eminent Bureau.

Another phase Of. the telegraph strike
has made itself manifest in the prepare
ton OF weather maps For some days
the maps nave been published as usual,
but in certain spaces. representing ceT-
tain cities. the place OF the usual re-
ports has been filled in with the word
missing. This has caused some mis-
apprehension on several occasions, for
il gave the impression TO many that
the elements had totally ignored these
localities, and had not even visited those
points. II looked as II the weather vas
indeed, missing, and that certain sec
lions might 90 down in history as the
places where the sun had refused TO
SHINE, the winds TO blow, and the gentle
patter Of the rain had not been heard.
Such, however. has not been the case,
according TO the best authority. The
telegraphers had merely stepped out, in
compliance with strike orders, and no
reports whatever have been forthcom-
ing. It was said at the Weather Blu
reau this morning that conslderab bic
trouble had been experienced in obtain
ing reports, particularly from Western
stations. Most Of those which failed to
send mo their regular bulletins were
smaller stations, where, Il Is believed,
there were not more than two operators,
and both, probably union men, comply
ing with the strike order. Some OF the
reports were probably sent 10 other sta
lions 10 be communicated TO Washing
/ ton. and these failed TO get through.
The Weather Bureau, however, is still
/ getting out its weather maps lust the
same. a sufficient number Of reports
reach the bureau every day 70 enable
Z the officials 70 make up their maps, and
/ those which are not heard from are
/ marked missing" IN the hope that the
I public will understand. not that the
1 weather gods have gone on strike but
4 that crippled wire Is responsible
The Washington times., 1907-09-04
Peace Week. ="

Two years ago this coming Thurs
day was signed the treaty of peace
between Japan and Russia; hence
the celebration of Peace Week at
Portsmouth. One of the most strik-
ing features of that historical occa-
sion was the mediatory part played
by the United States. 1t was the
work of a world power seeking the
fulfillment OF the old, old hope of
universal peace. For though our
military strength continues to in
crease in correspondence with the
interests we should have to protect
in the event of war, nevertheless
our role in the great world-drama is
primarily that of the peacemaker.
The Washington times., 1907-09-04
Government Pays
S366,362.z6 IN Rents

yet reached the state where action has
been taken.
Many public buildings are now being
erected in Washington. One OF the
largest CT these IS 70 house the National
Museum. II will provide splendid &C
commodauons, but viii contribute moth
ing toward the betterment OF quarters
In the Departments OF Commerce and La
Dor. Agriculture. Justice and State. A
new public building is nearing comple-
tion for the Department OF Agriculture
II consists OF two wings of what Will
some day be an immense structure. But
the wings will accommodate only a mart
OF the many needs Of the Agricultural
Department
Congress has provided for the erec-
ton CT two new buildings for use BY
members Of the Senate and House. cost
ing nearly 1900 COO, and, while they ars
me for the congressman, they DO not
aid the departmental situation. What
the Government service needs. ana
needs badly, is large and adequate
buildings for Federal Offices that are
living as tenants IN temporary homes.
which become more crambed every wear.
All Types Of Structures.
The State Department, IN addition 70
having 4 home OF its own, has rented
quarters IN the Rochambeau. an apart
ment house. The Department Of Justice
occupied a building on x street which
was formerly the Baltic Hotel. and the
offices OF the Attorney General are in
an adjoining building. formerly the
home Of the T.owerys, leased by Com
n1Odore Vanderbilt at a high rental
The Washington times., 1907-09-04

last Wednesday when "Tootie' swaI-
lowed a needle TO which was attached
eighteen inches OF black thread. The
thread went down the cats throat and
the needle stuck in the throat, tho
sharp end piercing the roof OF the
mouth.
The little creature mutely appealed TO
every member Of the family 70 relieve
Der suffering. Three doctors were called
IN, one after the other. and all said
they could not extract the needle. Marc
McGrath look the cat TO q veterinary
surgeon. He advised that the cat be-
chlOroformed and killed
As a last resort McGrath took
Iootie' TO Bellevue. There DR.. z r
Grove said he Would attempt an opera
ton Assisted by DIS. Hooker and Her
rick he bound the cat TO the operating
table, and after half an hours WORK
succeeded In cutting out the needle
Win pair OF foFceps he pulled the
thread out OF the stomach
'Footie," TO show her gratitude. licked
the doctors hands. The little animal
twice saved from death, vas doing
nicely last night
The Washington times., 1907-09-04
GIRL PUT IN JAIL
BY HER PARENTS:
CHOSE OWN LOVER

SPRINGFIELD, Masz.. Sept. 4-AIr.
and Mrs. Michael Cohen, Of Chicopee
Fails, believe that obedience IS the first
duty of a daughter. even though it in
wolves marriage with q man not % her
own choosing. Miss Ida Cohen. eighteen
years old, is now awaiting trial charged
by her parents with being an anruIy
and stubborn child
They had the girl arrested Saturday
and she has been in Jail ever since.
Trouble began when Miss Coaen told
her parents that she was ENGAGED to
marry Philip P Stain. They objected
mainly because the husband she chose
was not Of the Jewish faith ana put
their ban on the marriage. The girl re-
fused 70 submit and her arrest followed
The Washington times., 1907-09-04
WIFE AND GE'MAN FREW
CHASE "GROWLER DUCK"
CHARGES TINANUS MONTH

kin evan kit-h dat niggah BY hisseif
Abs gwine tub beG his haid often him.
Octavia backed up all Of her 'ge' man
fren's" testimony, simply adding and
embellishing II with unnecessary vitu-
peration.
His honor listened attentively. but IL
could be easily seen that his mind was
On other things thar the case on hand
He was thinking about that duck
We'll" he said, as Mrs. Octavia fin
ished her Grafton. "the preponderance
Of evidence is against the complainant.
CO Sc dismissed.
Then turning 10 4 court official no
added:
Say. look up that word duck in the
dictionary for me. will you, and see
what II means?''
The Washington times., 1907-09-04
PRINCE
LUREO BY DINNER
Returns to Boston Today to
to Get Home
Cooking.

BOSTON. Sept. IA real Swedish din
ner, with Swedish meat balls as the
principal dish and not the charms OF
rumored Boston heiTess. was the temp
tation that lured Prince William back
to Boston today 10 join the crew of his
cruiser. the Fylgia, at a final celebra-
tion. Il is said that when William
learned that the only woman in America
who can make the real meat balls OF
his home land lived IN Boston, he cut
short his visit 10 Niagara Falls and
postponed his western journey
The FyIgia arrived here this morning
and the crew were entertained al break
fast by local Swedish consul and went
through Boston and its suburbs in the
fastest automobiles the reception com
rnittee could secure. Prince William
himself is not expected until this even
ing.
The Washington times., 1907-09-04
MOROCCO'S PEACE
IN DISTANT FUTURE
Believed French Must Trv
Severe Punishment on
MoorS.

CAsABLANCA. Sept. 4-Unless Cen
eral Drude is granted permission 10
break camp and follow the tribesmen
into the interior, INJECTING a se.zre les
son as he goes. the prospect Of estab-
fishing peace and quiet in Morocco by
International politics or by any other
means, is an unusually slim one
Because of the temper Of the Moors
and handicapped position OF General
Drudes forces. IL is certain that the
French government must eventually
bring the Moroccan troubles to the at
tention Of the powers in formal manner.
Today, utterly unaffected by the de-
feat OF yesterday and Monday the
tribesmen are gathering for another at
tack on the French.
The Washington times., 1907-09-04
s" Bell Hop" Explains
How to Pick Fat Tips
Gauges His Man as He Registers and Buys
Privilege of Serving Him as Speculation.
The Gent" Who Ordered Mint

NEW YORK. Sept. Al am a stu
dent OF human nature" Harry Moran
remarked. You have to be in my bust
ness"
What is your business?" the magis-
trate at Yorkville Court asked YEARLY.
7 am a bell hop-Tve been a bell hop
for ten years, and I've learned human
nature"
The Washington times., 1907-09-04
VETERANS INSTALL OFFICERS.

The installation OF the recently elected
officers Of the Department OF the Dis
trict Of Columbia, United States War
Veterans. took place last night in the
d. A. r. Hall. After the eight officers
had been installed, short addresses were
made by past commanders OF the organ
iZation.
The Washington times., 1907-09-04

You've been a what-what is that eX-
traordinary phrase you used?' the mag
istrate queried
"A bell hop? Why, that's the same as
a bell boy"
But what has all that to do with this
case? You face che possibility Of being
charged with having obtained money IN
der false pretenses. What have you to
say 70 that2"
7 viii explain" Moran said with a
The Washington times., 1907-09-04

For some time wanamaker Lucien
Jones had been paying attention to Mrs.
Octavia Month in spite OF the oft eX-
pressed desire Of her husband that ne
desist. WanamakeT Lucien is the type
Of man calculated to cause reasonable
hesitation to rise in the bosom Of any
man desiring 20 follow the precepts Of
the unwritten law, while Timanus
Month. the husband, Is small and above
all things else. humble.
Consequently when Wanamaker per
sisted in his attentions regardless Of the
remonstrances of the injured husband,
Tinlanus decided that Il was time to ap-
peal TO the law and as an aftermath
both Wanamaker and Mrs. Octavia
faced Judge Mullowny in the Police
Court.
Timanus Has Stage Fright.
Timanus. the first witness called, was
hampered by two things. His uncon-
troIable fear Of the defendants, and his
total inability to speak coherent Eng
fish. When asked a question, he would
roll his eyes affrightedly and after a
hastv glance at the sinister couDtenances
OF the pair. would answer in voice
that seemed TO get tangled with its own
er's torsIls in its wild effort to escape.
You have had these people arrested
on the specific charge OF vagrancy.' an
nounccd the court, now what did they
do?"
.'Y-y-yoner." whimpered Timanus,
"dev don't do nLffn' but hang aroaun'
nah house an make nah life oriforous.
Dey chase de duck
Here. here" interrupted the court,
a man has a right TO chase a duck if
he wants. That don't make him liable
TO the law"
But he gifts drunk" complained
Timanus.
Now said the court with growing
irritation. 'Iet me tell you something.
You want to calm yourself You're get
ting excited. How on earth can a man
become intoxicated by simply chasing q
duck?
why" continued his honor with in
dignation, i've chased ducks myself in
my younger days"
For a moment the injured husband for
got his trouble in his amazement.
''Yo' lister rush de duck he yelled in
establishment. Say mistah, Ans talk
in about de growler-beer can-oooze
pot. Seq"
Judge Mullowny sat moment as
though supplied. Finally he spoke.
Race to Witness Stand.
Leave that stand" he ordered. And
the wife and her "ge'm man friend gave
an excellent exhibition of short distance
sprinuug in their endeavor to be the
first to talk.
Wanamaker won the race, doing the
twenty yards in something like three
seconds. and climbed hastily on the
stand.
'Jedge." he gasped, dat niggah he's
tryin' tub make me marry his wife so S
ne kin git her often his hands.
And" he added reyengefully, eft All
The Washington times., 1907-09-04
AN EVASIYE REPLY.

Philanthropist-w would you say
II I were to offer you work?
Beggar-I would not be vexed with
you. Oh, I can take a joke!-Trans-
lated for Transatlantic Tales, from
Fuegende Batter.
The Washington times., 1907-09-04

Some of our local scientists who ex-
pected to get at the truth OF this ma
ture-faking business from the visiting
biologists found themselves being
pumped instead.
The Washington times., 1907-09-04

Judson Harmon bought Mr.. Bryan a
ticket on the road of which the former
Attorney General is receiver. Does the
Pore Marquette run to Salt River?
The Washington times., 1907-09-04

Buttermilk and radish cocktail got a
severe jolt me other day when certain
distinguished Indiana Republicans spoke
of supporting Mr.. Hughes for the Re
publican nomination after a cOmpH-
mentary vote for Mr.. Fairbanks
The Washington times., 1907-09-04

Yopr Uncle Sam hasn't forgotten how
to drive a bargain even if he must
keep in practice at a peace conference.
The Washington times., 1907-09-04

Summertime and sunshine,
Thick the shadows throng;
Cool winds IN the branches.
Mockin' birds in some!
Atlanta Constitution.
The Washington times., 1907-09-04

Mr.. GrOsvenor makes himself heard
all the way from London, not to give
out a few figures, but 10 keep on the
bSndwagon
The Washington times., 1907-09-04

Now that Des Moincs. Iowa. is 10 try
the commission form IF government we
viii watch to see whether its streets
resemble our new Pennsylvania Avenue
or our old Rhode Island avenue.
The Washington times., 1907-09-04
LET'S BE THANKFUL.

Do you envy the boy his last three
weeks of vacation
The Washington times., 1907-09-04

A few candidates, little more talk
OF standing pat on the tariff. and
little more waste Of resources on break
ing the solid South and some Democrat
may be elected President after all
The Washington times., 1907-09-04

Mr.. Burton may find it hard making
harbor in that Cleveland mayoralty
storm
The Washington times., 1907-09-04

You see, he continued. ''in our bust
ness you have 10 know human nature.
So, when / see a gent come IN and be-
fore he registers. go up to the cafe and
ask If they have yeuve Cliquot and tell
them to put a little mint in the glasses,
I'm wise right on "
You are what?" the magistrate asked
I'm on. sir
Moran continued:
IN our business. even If you are head
bell hop, and ] am, you have TO tali-
your turn. If you show party 20 his
room you have TO sit at the foot OF the
bench ana wait TIL you are front
again. That's why you have 10 be 4
student OF human nature.
When a party comes into A hotel
Ike the Waldorf, he goes 10 the clerk
and registers. Whoever Is front gets
his grip. Then he has to 90 to Infor-
nation. Information gives him his
room and writes the number of II and
his name on a card
Skilled in Picking Them Out
The Washington times., 1907-09-04

Can ii be that some of our New York
contemporaries would prefer Mr.. Hearst,
though a rival editor, to a great source
of news Ike a distinguished voter Of the
OYSTER BaY precinct?
The Washington times., 1907-09-04

Mr. Taft is expected to contribute
weight 10 the Burton campaign.
The Washington times., 1907-09-04

With 100000 in the cream pitcher on
the shelf, paid by auto tourists for en-
tertainnent. Connecticut may well smile
over a little wear and tear of her roads.