The Kendrick gazette. [volume] (Kendrick, Idaho) 1892-1968, 1907-08-09
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Miss Oldgirl-Yes, l am single en-
t!rely from choice. Miss Pert-Whose
choice 2-Philadelphia Record.
Ycast-Are all the rooms in your flat
light? Crimsonbeak-Oh yes; We
have gas In 'em all !-Yonkers States
man.
Fatigued Philip-Did dat lady t'row
boIlin' water on youse? Wandering
Walter-Worse'n dat Phil-worse'n
dat. It wuz soapsuds.- Cleveland
Leader.
"Sir, want your daughters hand. I"
"You may have 1t with the greatest
pleasure, dear boy, II you'll take the
one that's always in my pocket."-Bal-
tlmore Sun.
She-Have you ever written any DO
etry? He (proudly)-I had a sonnet
once in one Of the leading magazines.
She-No, but I mean any real poetry.
-Somerville Journal.
Dyer-What did your wife say when
you told her you wouldn't be home till
late? Rownder-I don't know. hung
up the receiver as soon as L was
through talking.-Brooklyn Life.
"How do you know he is used to re-
ceiving letters from that girl?" BE
cause" answered Miss Cayenne, "he
knew Immediately where to look for
the second page" -Washington Star.
Strong-minded Old Lady Ito the new
wears wife)-Oh, yes, mum. I've 'ad
my ups and downs, but l never 'ad
what you may call serious trouble.
I've only lost two husbands Punch.
Nell-Maud says she has had seven
teen proposals this year. Belief
didn't think she knew So many men.
Nell-Oh, sixteen Of them were from
Chollie Saphedde. Rec
ord.
Tommy-Pop, was writing done ON
tablets OF stone in the old days? Tom
my's Pop-Yes, my son. Tommy
Gee! 1t must have taken a crowbar
to break the news.-Philadelphia Rec
ord.
Old Hunks-Didn't you marry mo
for my money? Answer me that, mad
am! Mrs. Enthusiastically did
And we'd get along just lovely If you
were not SO stingy with it-Chicago
Tribune.
Fortune Teller-Beware Of a short,
dark woman with a fierce eye. She IL
waiting to give you check. Visitor
(despairingly)-No, she amt. She's
waiting to get one from me. That's
my wife.-Baltimore American.
"Chumpley's auto got away from
him and ran fourteen miles on a coun-
try road" I'LL bet he was mad"
No, he was tickled. He said it was
The best run his car had made without
adjusting. "-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Where" asked the tenderfoot, was
the last man killed here? HE amt
been killed yet" replied Arizona AL.
There's goin' to be at least one more
killed as soon as him and me comes
ace to face."-Chicago Record Herald.
YES, ma'am," the convict was say
ng. I'm here jlst for tryin' to fat
er rich man." "The ideal" ex-
claimed the prison visitor. Eyes,
naam, 1 jist tried to initiate his sig
nature on check" - Philadelphia
Press.
"Ah!" he sighed. II have long wor-
hiped You at distance" well"
NE replied, coldly, If 1t is necessary
or you to worship me at all, 1 prefer
that way" And it was back to the
'oarding- house for Chicago Dali
y News
she-Gladys is So sorry she took her
Engagement ring round to the jewelers.
nave 1t valued. He-Why? Did he
ay 1t was too cheap? She-Oh, no.
lie said he would keep it for a bit. an
'reddie hadn't settled up for it yet
. Mrs Stubbs-Land's sakes, John.
mere must be great many barber
nops IN Wall street," Mr.. Stubbs-
nat causes you to think SO, Mariar
IFS. stubs-Why, the papers say hum
REDS OF men are trimmed" there ev-
~ day.-Chicago Daily News.
Jones had vegetable garden in
'nlch ne took great interest. Brown.
is next door neighbor, had one also.
no both men We're especially interest
IN their potato patches. One morn
H. meeting by the fence, Jones said:
how Is 1t, Mr.. Brown, you are never
'ouoled with caterpillars, while NV
asnes are crowded with them?" INV
lend. that is easily explained" re.
lied Brown. II rise early in The
orning, gather all the caterpillars
ON my bushes, and throw them into
our garden."-Tit-Bits,