Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1907-01-16
5 MILE EXTRAS
W !: I'm; \: : u: "; !: !; WEE; wee: !:
SifuaShun TO knO
by Our Ne,o Reporter)

fancle Spangels on p1ctur po5tel cards
in Reeves store next to the p. o. and
sells EN- for sc per is recoverin from
been worse if he hadn't sprung joke.
A gurl what aint very short thretned
mr Rs life last week with hat pins and
other wepons but he had presents of
mind to scape on top the safe where
the &c pieces are kept like good feller.
mr. r quaked and says shaky like I'm
on safe place now but he dident no
he had made brite joke. The gurl
what was attackin him forgot her mad
ness quick and Civ him the laff and
he got down and put more spangles
on postal cards. mr. Remer says fell
lers sometimes crack jokes when they
don't no any better. We think some
fellers are jokes sometimes when they
don't no any better.
The bizness of union carpenters is to
saw and knock. On 5 mile to vary
pays em off every week which is
mighty ticklish we think. Contractors
don't like TO be knocked at which amt
surprisin and maybe thell knock back
some day. Were waitin to see who
gets there props knocked out first.
Union fellers are gettin sort of stuck
my, xua nnocc opd wont xuarx lon pUoida
handy fellers what aint in there class
eny more after month or two. Some
carpenters thinks union button
makes a man worth bigger pay enve-
lopes but some contractors aint decidin
to think that way and don't respect
them buttons any more than collar
button at 2 for &" We hope nobody
will get real mad anurtrke what would
only hurt mile and then what comes
here 10 take q salt bath. -. I. :.
~ szkdsss y 'f'S~e k~g
Anglesea boro council has got sim
tums of garegues bunco curliques on
the brain we guess and maybe 1t will
take expert to cure EN-. Garigues Is
the name of expert figur man what
finds tangled boro money and tangles
it worse for 10 plunks per day council
thinks. He give big report to coun-
eel some time ago for 1916 and now
them city farthers is scratchin heads to
find where the tangel starts and stops.
Maypy they will have to get anuther
figur man to read it what is costly
joke. The tax payers hav been lookin
for the report in the sun but they do
say after spendin this pile of mon there
is no report in shipshape for print. If
we was council we'd get head of gari-
CUES curleques next time by passin a
ordance what would prohibit the
the maxim of mistakes in boro figurs
what will also save more attacks of
bunco curliques and wopper doctor
bills. Holly b can tell more woe stor-
les bout expert curleques mayby.
y = b
A strange feller was cuttin a apple
on the wild wood r. r. station last Sat.
and let his pen nife slip in the palm of
his hand. 1t sliced big cut alright
and bled like sixty until it was corked
up by feller at mr. Cohens drug store
We dident find out the fellers name or
why he let the nife slip in his hand.
Ye reporter finds it best to alwuz eat
your apples skin core and all then you
don't have to worry bout enything but
the collie.
Some milers is speculatin who ye
extra reporter is what is natural for all
helthy fellers what kno real talent
when they read it. Ye reporter aint
shamed of his face, front name board
or writin either what is sayin good
deal but we got orignel idears of mod
este. Our motto says it aint the gun
what makes the most smoke that is
most fective. Sometimes smokes po-
der comes in mighty handy. Our front
name is smoke but our pen is smokes.
Smoke has itsl use tho as ilustrashun
we can tell you without mincin that
some wimmim we kno of can fire more
shots with ther talkin apparatus in 2
ninits time than feller smokin pipe
can in a week.
Listen to this
You may kno all tn stars
Way from neptune to mars
And speak latin gush by heart
Be up in each ism
And versed in schism
And think ye are awfuly smart
Mayby you impres
Commin foxes more or les
Yet yer nit a phelOsOper til