The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1907-04-06

along the best way she can. And
some of these fellows really love their
wives too. They simply think that
the pretty words and gentle courtesies
of courtship are features of the chase
and are superhuous and foolish after
the capture. They seem to forget
that getting wife is one thing and
keeping her is another, as the records
! of the divorce courts show, but the
same processes are effective in both.
"But, you say, a man can't always
be on his best behavior he can't al
ways sit around his own house in full
dress he can't make daily use of the
stilted ceremonies of polite society in
his home life. There you are wrong
and you arc right. If there is any
place on earth that man should be
on his best behavior, it is at home,
but I do not mean by that that he
should put in practice all the purely
artificial forms of social etiquette.
Heaven forbid No one detests
meaningless ceremony more than do.
But the courtesies that spring from
the heart, that are the outward man
ifestations of desire to please or to
be of service to its object, are entire
ly different. To the true gentleman
they are as natural as the circulation Of
his blood. He can no more dispense
with them than he can with his
breath. 1t is a pity that so few ofus
are true gentlemen. Most of US are
selfish to the bone, and genuine cour-
tesy is an evidence Of forgetfulness of
self, virtue which we have to culti-
vate. If it is worth while to be a
gentleman at all-and / never heard
anybody express any doubts on that
point-it is certainly worth while to
be gentleman at home. The good
opinion Of your wife is of more i'm
portance to you than the opinions of
all the rest of the people of the world
put together. Yet you would fail to
show to her the courtesy which you
would bestow upon another as mat
ter of course and feel ashamed if you
were remiss in the least particular.
No, you can't do better thing
than to treat your wife at least as
we'll as you do your neighbor's. She
will appreciate it. can say that
with emphasis, for nothing hurts a
woman more than the apparent loss
of that fine consideration which dis
tinguishes the wooing days. No
matter if she does feel sure Of your
love, no matter if you prove your af-
fection In numberless other ways,
she who has reigned asqueen is never
fully satisfied with less than the hon
ors due to royalty. And it is so easy
to crafty her. It is only necessary
to keep in mind all the time that
your wife is woman aud that good
breeding works as we'll in smoking
jacket as in dress suit.
I have a very strong recollection OF
blacksmith who lives in the little
village where 1 went to school when
boy. He was great, brawny,
rough looking fellow, whose face and
hands were grimed by the smoke of
the forge. He seldom wore coat
and never a collar except on Sunday,
but he was one Of the truest gentle
men have ever known, and his wife
was envied by every other woman in
the village simply because of his def
erence to her in private as well as in
public. He was rustic Bayard, but
his chivalry was as pure and true as
that of any broadcloth attired city
man. No, my son, genuine courtesy
| is not a matter of dress or OF cere-
mony, and in practicing at home you
| don't have to sacrifice your own COM
fort to an extent worthy of consider
alton. On the other hand, it pays
/ wonderfully in the pleasure it gives
to your wife and, by reflection, to
you. 1t pays in the grace it gives
to your own character, and, better
than all else, it pays in its influence
upon the character of your family.
Some of these days, unless you are
different from the majority of man.
kind, you will be father. Your
children will be very much as you
make them, and your actions will
have more to do with the making
than your commands. They will,
consciously or unconsciously, copy
your faults as well as your virtues,
and the courtesy you display In their
presence will, in some part at least,
become fixed habits with them.
Your own training has been such
that I DO not fear you will go fal
wrong in this particular, but not
withstanding this l have seen evi-
dence that you are not holding up to
the old mans standard, and want
you to be right--all right.
Now, John, don't misunderstood
me. I don't want you to be a jump.
ing jack in the box at home or any
where else. Extremes are always
odious, and politeness may be so over.
done that it becomes pain instead
of a pleasure to its object. Men like
old Perkins simply make themselve:
ridiculous. True politeness is never
obtrusive. The test of well dressed
man is your inability to remember
what he wore. If he be inclined tc
foppishness, the conspicuousness o.
his attire will arrest your attention
as we'll as your condemnation. Or
the other hand, the absence of any
part of the correct costume or an ex
hibition of untidiness or carelessnes:
in the wearing is always conspicuous
So with politeness. 1t is greatly
missed when 1t is absent. 1t should
be unnoticeable when it is present
That is the brand to use in the home
as we'll as outside Of it. If you take
it off when you hang your hat up II
the hall, you can bet your sweet lite
that Anna May will miss it, and the
missing will hurt.
Don't greet her with a grunt, but
| xx,;41, n l>;cc xu0t11dn'f advise vOf