The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1907-11-24

iuS-our society editor
you don't say
Eyes. The paper simply couldn't es'
list without him"
That so: Queer Colonel StarbucE
never told me anything about him.
unused the caller.
ooh, you know the colonel, do YOU:
asked Blake
Eyes, we're what | might call slight
" acquainted. | had a little business
transaction with him the other day.
sold you a gold brick, l suppose
and Barney winked humorously at the
rest of the staff.
Don't know yet whether it will turn
out to be gold brick or not. Reckon
| shan't worry any if it does. I've in
vested in gold bricks before, and the
way | figure it its nobody's business
but my own If ! do it again
"Oh. | see said Barney smoothly
"a trife touchy on the gold brick ques
ton. eh, Mr-er-Hayseed is it?''
Not quite. Hayden happens TO be
| my name Didn't make quite as Slick
guess as you did on the Horace. But
go ahead and call me Hayseed if you
| like. You can remember that name
| better than Hayden probably. and
guess it fits me about as well as the
other, anyhow. Don't 1t strike you
that way"
ooh, no, you're no hayseed. You're
right from Chicago or New York CITY
anybody could tell that from the Gu
of your jib.' And Barney again pass
ed the wink to the others, who ali feli
in duty bound to roar at the managing
| editors wit.
mice, genial staff you've got. Chuck
full of fun, amt they: | hope they re
not laughing at me- Hain't got a
Please Kick Me- sign pinned to my
back. have II"
That's all right Uncle Horace.
purred Barney. Don't go to getting
excited The boys are just spelling
for little fun-been working under
steam pressure today-but none oil
them would ever be guilty of-er-hy
George they have, just the same. Bu1
it doesn't read Please Kick Me-; i
saws Were From the Farm And Ii
/ only knew the deep dyed villain who
pinned it on you I'd discharge hin
this instant-yes, sir. this very III
stant-and I'd tell him not TO come
around again until tomorrow morn
ing" he added in a stage whisper Il:
he stepped around behind the rura
looking visitor and removed the O!
Tending sign, deftly replacing it by an
other handed him by one of the crowd
reading, "Turnips For Sale!''
There; that looks better observes
Barney. at which everybody roare'
promptly once more.
Not quite so much levity, boys
said Barney reprovingly. Il am goln
to show our friend here through til
Argus establishment, and l want t
see how we'll you can behave while
Biff!
A big wad Of paper came sailin
across the office and caromed on tn
ear of the caller.
THAT was our baseball editor VIII
did that" explained Barney COOL!
Force of habit suppose. He prof.
ably imagined he was throwing ba
at first base. Don't let that happe
again. Higgins
''All right. sir glibly responded til
young man who had thrown the p;
per- Mistake. anyhow. | was ain
ing at the wastebasket.'
We'll, seeing you've apolosized, it
all right said Barney, with moe
solemnity.
"Now. Mr.. Hayseed-l should 81.
Hayden-you have already been intr
duced to our baseball and society Ell
tors, and if you will cast your optic
over the rest of the collection of gcl
fuses before you | will enlighten yc
as to their duties, SO that when you :
back to the farm you will understal
the secret Of the Argus success
gathering and disseminating the dai
news of the entire world. including t!
city and county of Boomopolis.
THE exceedingly tall thin youl
man with the short hair and prom
service reporter and war correspon
ent. His build. as you will notice. fl
him admirably for the position. He
so thin he can crawl over transo
without the slightest difficulty"
You don't say"'
Fact, l assure you. And that
why a thin man has a marked adva
tage over a 200 FOUNDER. 1t requir
less gas to carry him, and if he fal
from balloon it doesn't muss him |
so much as it would fat man, thef
by effecting big saving in doctor
bills for repairing broken ribs, etc"
II see. Quite an ldea, that
Eyes. and, besides, thin man {
Y cupies less space and leaves more roo
in the basket of the balloon for t
4 wireless message apparatus. You st
Y as fast as the war correspondent in
# balloon gets Il message ready to sci
IS in to the paper he grinds it out on
e wireless sending machine, somethil
J. like a photograph, and it goes fyi
Y off into space until it strikes the Aeri
Wireless Telegraph line, over which
= nsy