Vashon Island news. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1907-19??, 1907-05-24

YET. -titNeluuu iiuiH btiier.
Aunt think you say your prayers
very nicely, Reggie. Young Hopeful
All, but you should hear me gargle -
Punch.
Here Is an article which says that
family Jars eventually kill love"
"Family jugs kill It sooner than that"
Houston Post
THAT new reporter fell down on
his first assignment "What was III"
"'Clty Sidewalks in Winter "-Balt-
more American.
"Clerker seems to be actually jeal-
Gus of his chauffeur" mo wonder;
he has to pay the man more than he
earns himself. Puck.
Gyer-I have the most knowing dog
you ever saw. Myer-Most knowlngi
Gyer-Yes. Why. every time he sees
tailor he pants.-Chlcago News.
ma, what's sllhouette?' ITS one
Of them pert. silly girls that dances
and sings in the pieces they play on
the stage."-Baltlmore American.
She-Would you rather walk or ride
there? He-We!l, I've been out in the
motor car so much lately that think
I'd rather ride for changc-Puck.
"What is the greatest danger en-
countered In running an automobllei"
And without hesitation the chauffeur
answered, 1.-THE police. Washington
Star.
"Mr. Jlngle's writings show great
deal of Imagination, don't you think?"
''Yes, they show that he imagines he
can write poetry" = Philadelphia
Ledger.
"Our cooks-we always have three,
you know" "Three cooks" "Oh,
yes. The one that's going, the one
that's coming. and the one that's here
Puck.
Il hope this time you've brought
me matches that will light, my son."
Yes, mother" said the little lad. 1--WE
tried them, every one."-Boston Tran
script
Fat Woman ito cabman)- How
much do you charge milef Cabby-
In your case, madam. I'll have to
charge by the pound.-Watsoavill
Register.
.Church-what do you think of your
wlfe's voice since she took music les
sons? Gotham-Its no better; but
there seems to be more of it.-Yonkers
Statesman.
Mugglns-I hear you are having
your daughters voice cultivated. Bug
gins-Yes, I'm afraid it can't be cured,
so I am doing the next best thing
Philadelphia Record.
when the people of your town out
West discovered that the mayor had
been misapproprlatIng the public
money, did they suspend him from of
fice?' NO; from tree"-Baltimorc
American.
Mr.. Younghub-Did you bike this
bread, darling? Mrs. Younghub
dear. ME- Younghub-Well please
dou't do anything like that again. You
are entirely too light for such heavy
work.-Chlcago Daily News.
Fluffy Young Thing lat the play)-
1 believe this man in front of US is
trying to hear what we're saying Man
In Front turning around) You do me
an injustice, my dear young lady. 1
am trying not to hear it--Chicago
Tribune.
The curtain went up on the Siberian
scene. ",rhose bowls sound very real,'
commented the critic. That's the real
thing in bowls. Best I've ever heard"
Ought to be- responded the stage
manager. That's our angel. He's
busted. Courier Journal.
IF you are going to Paris to see
some fun, you'll require at the very
least s15 day. AS much as that?
It's pretty heavy, especially seeing that
I'm taking my wife with me- "Oh,
you're taking ytIur wife? In that case,
about So a day will be ample. GIL
BIAS
what became of that man you ar
rested as a horse-thleff' ''Lynched."
answered Plute Pete. Il suppose that
ends the matter" ''No. Some o the
boys had their doubts. so we're goln'
to call some witnesses an git evidence
that he really were the guilty party"
Washington Star.
Harold" she exclaimed after she
had rested for moment against his
manly breast II believe you have
heart trouble" Calm yourself, darl-
Ing" he replied; "I've agreed to help
Professor J.ightfinger with his sleight-
of-hand performance tonight That's
] q rnhhit -Chlcn..n Recnlal. uarald