, 1907-09-17
Rag lime.

The more wage a man gets, the
more time he wants off to spend 1t.
Never mind; mex year we will have
a sane Fourth-maybe.
Seven boys and sever girls went
camping in Iowa-and when the vaca-
ton was ended there were 40 engage
ments.
A Nebraska country editor tells n
on a well known resident of his town
who stayed down town very late, toy
ing with the wine cup. S~tealthily
stealing in about midnight, he located
the baby's cradle and started to rock
was finally aroused from his parental
duty by the wife, exclaiming: Come
on to bed and quit rocking that empty
cradle; the baby is here with me-"
A Wisconsin editor was visiting in
Chicago and decided he would buy a
new Panama hat. Going into a store,
he asked the price Of n that
looked good to him. The clerk replied.
Fifteen dollars" whereat the editor
asked. Where are the holes?" The
clerk appeared bewildered for a mo-
ment but managed to ask, What
holes?" The editor replied, "The
holes for the ears of the jasack that
would pay SIS for a hat like that"
When a prominent Kansas man vas
a young fellow, he hired out to an
editor as office devil" At the end
of the first week, the editors cow
died and there was plenty of beef on
the table for weeks. About the time
the last portion of the beef vas dis
appearing, the calf died and they had
veal for several weeks. When the
editors wife became i'll and died,
however, the devil" took to his heels
and fed. He is now a successful bust
ness man who takes especial delight
in referring to the days when he was
in the newspaper business.
When the young man sows wild
oats, there is never a failure Of crop.
It makes a difference with a girl
what kind Of a chap she has on her
hands.
Why does the average nan begin a
story with, Il suppose you have
heard this, but" and then he pro-
ceeds to tell it?
No sensible man ever tries to dis
courage a poet. The fire Of genius is
| bound to burn, If the kitchen fire
doesn't.
1t is easy to get rich If you will stop
spending your money.
A scientist says a mans body is 80
| per cent. water. He must refer to the
driver of the water wagon.
So many people worry about where
the money is coming from to pay
their bills. 1t will come from the
mint, of course. If it came from any
other source, it would be counterfeit.
The automobilist does not want the
earth. He wants the roads, only.
There may be safety in numbers,
but few gamblers can pick the safe
one
The fellow who is just getting owe
temperance pledge. What a pity that
the water wagon jolts SO!
1t is easy for a sketch artist to draw
a crowd in a park.
The country is safe-the June crop
of brides was fully up to the standard.
Some men are too blamed slow and
deep for anything but checkers.
Bah of Kalamazoo says some Of
the folks in his town have water
meloned and others have ~cherrypied.
already. Which reminds me that now
is the time to begin buying your
Christmas presents.
Those Chicago poets who were COM
PEELED by their employer to punch the
time clock and work nine hours a day,
instead OF trifling around town look.
ing for Inspirations. could get even by
rhyming pain with again" "rounde-
lay" with he did say" etc. There
are plenty Of ways for a real, live poet
to retaliate.