davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1907-10-17

more ridiculous than any comment OF
ours could make It.
Does Golfers expect to regain any
self-inflcted loss Of prestige by DEM
onstrating thru suits for damages,
that 1t can be more artful in evading
liability for libels than the humble
but resentful victims Of its defama-
ton, or does 1t hope by starting a
campaign of libel suits to silence the
popular indignation. reproach and re-
sentiment which 1t has aroused,
Golfers can not dodge this public
controversy by private law suits. 1t
can not postpone the public judy
ment against 1t. That great jury, the
Public, will hardly blame us for not
waiting until we get petit jury in
court room, before denouncing this
prodigal detractor of institutions
founded and fostered either by indi-
viduals or by the public. itself.
No announcements during our en-
tire business career were ever made
claiming medicinal effects for either
Postum or Grape-Nuts. Medicinal
effects are results obtained from the
use of medicines.
Thousands of visitors go thru our
entire works each month and see for
themselves that Grape-Nuts contains
absolutely nothing but wheat, barley
and little SALT Postum absolutely
nothing but wheat and about ten
percent of New Orleans molasses.
The art of preparing these simple ele-
ments in scientific manner to OBJ
tain the best food value and favour,
required some work and experience to
acquire.
Now, when any publication goes
far enough out Of its way to attack
us because our advertising is med
ical," 1t simply offers remarkable
exhibition of ignorance, or worse.
We do not claim physiological or
bodily results Of favorable character
following the adoption Of our sug-
gestions regarding the dlscontinuance
of coffee and foods which may not be
keeping the individual In good health
We have no advice to offer the per-
fectly healthful person. His or her
health Is evidence in itself that the
beverages and foods used exactly fit
that person. Therefore, why change?
But to the man or woman who Is
ailing, we have something to say as
a result OF an unusually wide expert
ence in food and tho result Of proper
feeding.
In the palpably ignorant attack on
us in Golfers. appeared this state
ment,-"One widely circulated para
graph lnbors to induce the impression
that Grape-N,its will obviate the ne
cessity of an operation in appendi-
citis. This is lying and potentially
deadly lying"
In reply to this exhibition Oh
we'll let the reader name it. the Pos
tum Co., says:
Let 1t be understood that appendi-
citis results from long continued dis
turbance in the intestines, caused pri-
marily by undigested starchy food,
such as white bread, potatoes, rice,
partly cooked cereals and such,
Starchy food is not .digested In the
upper stomach but passes on into the
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1907-10-17
Sc BOO-HCDO99
Shouts a Spanked Baby.

A Doctor OF Divinity. now Editor OF
q well-known Religious paper, has
written regarding the controversy be-
tween Golfers Weekly and the Re-
llglous Press OF the Country and 9TH
ers, including ourselves. Also re-
garding suits for libel brought by
Golfers against US for commenting
upon It's methods.
These are his sentiments, with
some very emphatic words left out.
Tho religious Press owes you q
debt of gratitude for your courage IN
showing up Golfers Weekly as the
"Yell-Oh Man." Would you care to
use the inclosed article on the boo
Hoo Baby" as the "Yell-Oh Mans"
successor"
"A contemporary remarks that Col
lier's has finally run against a solid
hickory post" and been damaged IN
its own estimation to the tune OF
$4,000. co."
Here is a publication which has.
In utmost disregard of the facts.
spread broadcast damaging state
ments about the Religious Press and
others and has suffered those false
statements to go uncontradicted, I'M
til, not satisfied after finding the Re
ligious Press too quiet. and peaceful,
to resent the insults, 1t makes the
mistake of wandering into fresh
field and butts it's ratified head
against this Post and all the World
laughs. Even Christians smile. as
the Post suddenly turns and gives
it back dose of its own medicine"
1T Is a mistake to say all the
World laughs. No CHEEKY laugh
comes from Golfers, but 1t cries and
boo hoos like a spanked baby and
wants $750,000.00 to soothe Its ten
der. lacerated feelings"
"Thank Heaven it has at last
struck man with back bone"
enough to call spade spade" and
who believes in telling the whole
truth without fear or favor"
Perhaps Golfers with its utmost
disregard for the facts" may say no
such letter exists. Nevertheless 1t is
on file in our Office and is only one Of
a mass of letters and other data,
newspaper comments, ETC., denounc-
ing the "yellow" methods Of Golfers.
This volume is SO large that man
could not well go thru 1t under half
a days steady work. The letters
come from various parts Of America.
Usually a private controversy Is
not interesting to the public, but this
is u public controversy
Golfers has been using the "yel-
low" methods to attract attention to
itself. but, jumping in the air, crack
ing heels together and yelling Look
at me" wouldn't suffice, SO 1t started
out on "Holier Than Thou" attack
on the Religious Press and on medi-
cines.
We leave 1t to the public now, as
we did when we first resented Col
lier's attacks, to say whether, In
craving for sensation and circulation,
its attacks do not amount to a sys-
tematic mercenary bounding. We
likewise leave 1t to the public to say
whether Golfers, by Its own policy
and methods, has not made itself
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1907-10-17

! doudenum, or lower stomach and In
tcstines, where, In a healthy indi-
vidual, the transformation of the
starch into form Of sugar Is COM
pleted and then the food absorbed by
the blood.
But II the powers of digestion are
weakened. a part of the starchy food
will lie In the warmth and moisture
of the body and decay, generating
gases and Irritating the mucous sur
| faces until under such conditions the
whole lower part Of the alimentary
canal, including the colon and the
appendix, becomes involved. Disease
sets up and at times takes the form
| known as appendicitis.
When the symptoms Of the trouble
make their appearance, would 1t not
be good, practical, common sense, to
discontinue the starchy food which Is
causing the trouble and take food
in which the starch has been trans
formed into a form Of sugar In the
process of manufacture?
This is identIcally the same form
of sugar found In the human body
after starch has been perfectly d.
geSted.
Now, human food is made up very
largely of starch and is required by
the body for energy and warmth.
Naturally, therefore, it's use should
be continued, II possible, and for the
reasons given above it Is made posi-
Bile in the manufacture of Grape
Nuts.
In connection with this change Of
food to bring relief from physical
disturbances, we have suggested
washing out the intestines to get rid
Of the immediate cause of the dis
turbance.
Naturally, there are cases whsre
the disease has lain dormant and the
abuse continued too long, until ap-
parently only the knife will avail.
But it Is q well-establlshed fact
among the best physicians who are
acquainted with the details above ro-
cited, that preventative measures are
far and away the best.
Are we to be condemned for sug-
gesting q way to prevent disease by
following natural methods and for
perfecting food that contains no
medicine and produces no medic
inal effects" but which has guided lit
orally thousands OF persons from
sickness to health? We have received
during the years past upwards Of 2b.-
900 letters from people who have
been either helped or made entirely
we'll by following our suggestions,
and they are simple.
IL coffee dlsagrces and causes any
of the ailments common to some,
coffee users quit 1t and take on
Postum.
If white bread, potstoss, rice and
other starch foods make trouble, quit
and use Grape-Nuts food which IL
largely predigested and will digest,
nourish and strengthen. when other
forms Of food do not. It's Just plain
old common sense.
There's Reason" for Postum and
Grape-Nuts.
Postum Cereal o., Ltd.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1907-10-17
On Color Addition.

when you hear sounds and see
colors they call 1t color addition, y
commented an interminable bore, be-
ginning a narration.
stop one minute" said a vulgar
ian. with no app eciation or soul for
large words, who was standing by,
they call it what, you say?"
Color audition," said the man,
lit means simply that you think you,
see color whenever You hear GER
tain sound. When you hear a COM
bination Of sounds you see COM
bination of colors."
Then if would seen blue sound
and a yellow sound at the same
time" said the vulgarian, II would
see a green sound wouldn't II"
NO." returned the bore becoming
impatient, "You would see only the
two colors, though the subimpression
of the two might be green, just as
in 'pointilliste' painting your eyes
actually see only spots of different
primal hues though the subimpres-
sion may be combined color"
"All right" said the vulgarian.
"Well, wonder if you can depend
upon color addition over the phone.
THE other day | heard woman's
voice, its tones were velvety brown
to me,
Judging from her voice l should
say that that woman was soft, fluff
fly little thing with long eyelashes,
clear, dark skin, and brown hair; |
said to friend.
"'You're wrong, said he, That's
Bess McGuinn, and she is nothing of
what you say. She is a decided
blond.
but the funny part Of it all was
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1907-10-17
!: e. "a; s:'' VS.; IS: IhompsoRS
Kill One Every Is HOurs.

Every Is hours a life is lost in
New York under the wheels of a
passenger car--surface, elevated or
steam. This fact has been brought
out by Secretary Travis II. Whitney,
of the Public Service Commission, IN
a table giving a record he has kept OF
transportation accidents from Au-
gust 8 to September ].
In these 26 days 145 persons were
hurt in car collisions and 46b IN
collisions between cars and vehicles.
Once in each hour and 20 minutes
of the period some person was struck
by car, making total of 4O5.
Sixty-four persons were injured in
boarding cars and 1903 were in
jured in alighting from them, which
goes to show that at least that num-
Der of New Workers have not yet
leraned to face forward when getting
off street cars.
Employees to the number of GAL
hurt, 33 persons were hurt in derail-
ments, &c prospective passengers fell
downstairs and 1881 persons were
hurt in unclassified ways. A total
Of $500 were either killed or injur-
ed i'm 26 DAYS.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1907-10-17
Gold Coins In Marble Head.

NJ Robin bought recently in an
old curiosity shop in Paris an an
cient marble head of a man, and as
the face was rather knocked about
he sent it to 4 brother sculptor for
repair. When the work was done
this friend got into a cab with the
marble head and drove toward M.
Robins studio. On the way the cab
came into collision with a motor car
and the head rolled out into the road
and was smashed to pieces.
The sculptor picked up the pieces
and found in cavity of the skull
twenty gold coins of ancient date and
considerable value.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1907-10-17
A Trolley Hospital.

Milwaukee has a novelty in trolley
cars. 1t is a hospital car which has
recently been put in service. The in
terror of the car is fitted with
three leather upholstered permanent
stretchers. Hooks are placed in the
sides near the ceiling, from which a
fourth stretcher may be suspended.
At each end of the car are stationed
cabinets supplied with complete sur
gical outfits, consisting Of all neces.
sary instruments as we'll as dressings
that might be called for in emergency
cases. The car Is electrically heat
ed and water in two gallon tank
fed from larger receptacle may be
heated in the same manner. The car
is not designed for city work, but in
outlaying districts first aid will be
directed on the ground, instead of
taking the sufferer to the city.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1907-10-17
A GcyScr Clock.

One of the most curious clocks
in the world is said to be that which
tells the time to the inhabitants of
q little American backwoods town.
The machinery, which Is nothing but
a face, hands, and lever, Is connect
ed with a geyser which shoots out
an immense column of hot water
every thirty-eight seconds, The spout
ing never varies to the tenth of a
second. Every time the water spouts
up It strikes tho lever and moves the
hands forward thirty-eight seconds.
American Home Monthly.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1907-10-17
Examples OF Bathos.

Prof Brander Matthews, writer
and teacher, at recent dinner talk
ed of bathos with his usual wealth
of apt illustration.
I'VE find a deal of bathos in the
law courts" he said. AN excellent
example occurred in a Massachusetts
judges summing up of a larceny
case. He said:
For 40 centuries the thunders
of Sinai have echoed through the
world. Thou shalt not steal" This
is also, gentlemen, principle OF
common law and rule OF equity.
I'm a murder trial-the accused
had killed a soldier-another judge
said:
John Jones, not only have you
committed murder, but you have also
run bayonet through the h"eeches
of one of our august republics cav
airy uniforms.
"A Sunapee justice of the peace
rebuked thief thus:
Prisoner, a bountiful Providence
has endowed you with health and
strength. instead of which you go
about stealing chickens"
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1907-10-17
WHAT IS PE-RU-NA?
Is II q Catarrh Remedy, or a
Tonic. or IS It Both?

Some people call Peruna a great
tonic Others refer to Peruna as a
great oatarrh remedy.
Which Of these people are rightf
Ii 1t more proper to call Peruna ca
tarrh remedy than to call it tonic2
Our reply is, that Peruna is both q
tonic and q catarrh remedy. Indeed,
there can be no effectual catarrh rem
edy that IL not also a tonic.
In order to thoroughly relieve any
case Of catarrh, a remedy must not
only have a specific action on the mu-
cous membranes affected by the ca
tarrh, but 1t must have q general tonic
action on tho nervous system.
Catarrh, even in persons who are
otherwise strong, is a weakened con-
dition Of some mucous membrane.
There must be something to strength.
on the circulation, to give tone to the
arteries, and to raise the vital forces
Perhaps no vegetable remedy In the
world has attracted so much attention
from medical writers as HYDRASTIS
CANADENSIS. The wonderful eff
cacy of this herb has been recognized
many years, and is growing in its hold
upon tho medical profession. When
Joined with CUBEBS and C0PAIBA a
trio Of medical agents is formed in Pc.
runa which constitutes specific rem
cdy for catarrh that in the present
state of medical progress cannot be
improved upon. This action, rein
forced by such renowned tonics as
COLLINS0NIA CANADENS1S, COR
YDAL1S F0RMOSA and CEDRON
SEED, ought to make this compound
an ideal remedy for catarrh in all its
stages and locations in the body.
From a theoretical standpoint there.
fore, Peruna is beyond criticism. The
use Of Peruna, confirms this opinion.
Numberless testimonials from every
quarter Of the earth furnish ample
evidence that this judgment is not
over enthusiastic When practical ex-
perience confirms a well-grounded the
ory tho result is a truth that cannot be
shaken.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1907-10-17
Paper Clothing Worn by Tourist.

Faper ClOCulHS "oIh ~
When w. o. Chambers walked in
to the Northern Hotel and shook
hands with the proprietor before
writing Plauen, Germany, after MS
name on the register, there was moth
ing in his appearance to indicate that
he was clothed very differently from
the ordinary well-dressed CONNER
cial man, says the Seattle Times.
Nevertheless, he was wearing a
suit of clothes made entirely of pa
per- even his shirt and hat being
made of that material. His shoes
were leather and his necktie of silk,
but the other garments mentioned
carry with them a story or long
years of ceaseless toll on the part or
German chemist and financial pos
sibilities of an extraordinary char
acter. Mr.. Chambers chatted few
moments with reporter regarding
the paper clothing. He is on his way
to Alaska to visit brother whom ne
has not seen for ten years.
Herr Emil Claviez, the inventor,
worked twenty years to make pa
per yarn which would be practical
said Mr.. Chambers. "He was sue
cessful, and now many factories are
making paper yarn from wood pulp.
1t has been woven into every kind
of cloth, loose and thick mesh
From it not only shirts, coats. trous-
ers, and hats are now being manu-
featured, but even carpets, rugs, and
mattings. There are some shoes now
: being turned out, but l left before
any were ready. The substance is
called xylolin. The process is secret
and has been patented in the United
States. On my arrival in America a
large assortment of samples OF the
finished product was sent to Wash
ington to the Department of Com
merce and Labor, so that the Ameri-
can manufacturers or others inter-
ested could examine them. IN. Y.
Herald.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1907-10-17
Magnetic Healing.

DR.. Wenzel, who is not magnetic
healer, explained to me in thor
oughly practical way the secret OF
the art. THE right hand of nearly
every persons is positive he said
while the left is negative. If your
child is Ill, if it is in fever. heal
thy perspiration will invariably bring
instant relief But medicines will
often fail to produce this. Now
place your right hand on the fore
head of the patient and your LETT
on the bottom of the foot. or feet,
and all the sweat glands will be op-
ened 1t Is the completion of the
electric circuit that causes this. -
n. Y. Press.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1907-10-17
An Irish HemOrrhage.

In Toledo, Ohio, recently an Irish
man was hard at work painting the
top of a telephone pole a bright
green, when suddenly the pot Of
paint slipped and splashed on the
sidewalk.
Not more than few seconds later
enother Irishman, also an employe of
the telephone company, came along.
He looked at the paint, then at his
countryman on the ladder coming
down the pole. Then, with affected
anxiety, he called.
"Mulcahy, Mulcahy! How ye had
n himorrhage?'
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1907-10-17

that my friend was wrong and l was
right, and that the girl who was talk
ing was not Bess McGuinn, but her
best chum, who was all that l have
said"
Yes, that was funny growled
the vulgarian enigmatically.
The saddest part Of all this yarn
Is that 1t Is all so. Work 1t out.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1907-10-17
Wanted An Order Too.

cat tea" said Washington
woman, the late Julia Magruder
told us q story about little girl
whom she once took out to luncheon.
At the luncheons end Miss Magruder
handed her waiter $40 bill, and
the man brought back on a plate
great mound Of greenbacks and sill
vcr. The little girl looked at the
huge mound of change longingly:
If you please, Miss Magruder,' she
said, I'll have q plate of that. too
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1907-10-17
Translating The Bible.

1t will astonish many persons to
know that the Bible Is now trans
lated and read in 400 different
tongues. w. G. Fitzgerald relates in
the October Harper's Magazine how
this vast undertaking has been ac-
complished. 1t has cost many lives
and millions of dollars. In addition
to the first cost Of translating, there
is the expense Of revising. The last
revise of the Madagascar Bible cost
$4,000, and Sl50,000 was paid to
DR.. William Carey and his staff for
the Serampore version of the Bible
in HinduStani.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1907-10-17
A Natural Inference.

Mr.. RoXton with morning paper)
Cad! Fastsett's auto was wreck
ed last night and the SIX occupants
were badly hurt
Mrs. RoXton--PoOr Mrs. Fastsett!
| wonder how she received the news.
Puck.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1907-10-17
Tho Latest.

Rounder-Wedderly wasn't at the,
stag party last night, was he? -.
Bounder-No; he was stormbound!'
Rounder-Why, there wasn't any
storm last night.
Bounder-Oh, yes, there was. His
wife had a Observation-Disclosures
News
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1907-10-17
Beware Of Ointments For Catarrh
That Contain Mercury,

Vhat COMCHu MCECyS
~ mercury will surely destroy the sense OF
smell and comb etely derange the. whole sys.
tenn tenn when entering It through the MUCOUS
surfaces surf such articles should never b ussd
s saisps as damage they w Do 9 ton Cola
to the good you can, possibly derive from
them. Halls Catatrh Cure, manufactured
by r. j. Cheney 4 Co., Toledo, o. contains
and Sts s6:n asas
Of the system. In buying Halls Catarrh Cure
he sure YOU get the genuine. It i taken IN.
ternaily and made in Toledo, Ohio, BY y.
j. Cheney 4 Co. Testimonials free.
Sold by Druggists; price,. 75c. per, bottle.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1907-10-17
DELAYS Are Dangerous.

Young Scads--I don't want to go
to college, dad.
Old Scads-- Youll have to, my
boy, because you can't afford to neg
lect it. / had to give a college a
million last year in order to get my
degree.-Puck.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1907-10-17
BABY WASTED TO SKELETON.
I'm TORRENTS With Terrible Sores on
Face and BOdy-Tore at Flesh
Cured by Cuticura,

"My little son, when about year and
a half old, began to have sores come out
on his face. They began to come on his
arms, then on other parts of his body, and
then one came on his chest, worse than
the others. Still he grew worse. At tho
end of about year and half Of suffering
he grew SO bad l had to tie his hands in
cloths at night to keep him from scratch.
ing the sores and tearing the flesh. He got
to be mere skeleton and was hardly able
to walk. sent to the drug store and got
a cake of Cuticura Soap and a box of Cuti.
cura Ointment, and at the end of about
two months the sores were all we'll. He
has never had any sores Of any kind since,
and I can sincerely say that only for
the Cuticura Remedies my precious child
would have died from those terrible sores.
I used only one cake Of Soap and about
three boxes of Ointment. Mrs. Egbsrt
Sheldon, R. F. d., Mol, Woodville, Conn.,,
April ~. 1908"
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1907-10-17
A Naughty Baby,

Tommy-Ma, baby is naughty.
He cried because | wouldn't give him
any of my cake.
Mammals his own cake finished
Tommy-Yes, ma; and he cried
willie was eating that, too.-Punch.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1907-10-17

from kidney trou-
bles. My back panied
me terribly. Every
turn or move caused
s b arp. shooting
pains. My eyesight
was poor. dark spots
appeared before me,
and ] had dizzy
spells. For ten years
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1907-10-17
1t Would Seem So,

Gyer-Speaking Of the seasons,
summer is the pride of them all.
Myer-IIow do you figure that
out?
Gyer--It goeth before a fall, you
know.--Chicago News.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1907-10-17

could not do housework. and for
two years did not get out OF the
house. The kidney secretions were
irregular, and doctors were not help
ing me. Doan's Kidney Pills brought
me quick relief, and finally cured me-
They saved my life"
Sold by all dealers. so cents box
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1907-10-17
Risky ACrObatS.

Kind Lady-What is your father,
little boy?
Tough Kid-He's acrobat, num-
Kind Lady-What kind of an &C.
robat?
Tough Kid-Porchclimber.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1907-10-17
Different.

Are you believer in Scent
fare?"
mo, that's what we get at our
boarding house; but 1t isn't what we
pay for. Houston Post.