The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1907-06-20

| FIs;IID Up a QUARTER OF i DOLLAR.
tn. showed he was not bill collector.
His Look was not interrogative, aud
therefore he was not going to inquire
for t. corn doctor or dentist upstairs.
The grand promoter was puzzled,
and he held his breath while the caller
looked around and made ready to ask.
Excuse me, but is this the office of
Major Crofoot?"
at is"
MINOR Crofoot the grand promot-
err
THE same"
The Major Crofoot who has made
hundred different men rich by letting
them in on the ground floor of his en-
terprises?"
Il am the man. What can l do for
you today"
Look here, major" continued the
caller as he helped himself to a seat
on one of the broken backed chairs,
I've got little money TO invest, ard
was advised to come to you. was
told that you could double and quad
ereathed With Difficulty.
The major Jreathed with difficulty.
He had counted up his cash capital
that morning and mad found 1t
amounted to but 81 cents. His shoes
needed repairing, his clothes needed
| cleaning and the landlord would be
| after him for the rent that week
Here was a fly that had walked into
his net, and he looked like an easy fly
to work 1t was fifteen seconds before
he could reply:
You have come to the right place,
sir. and you could not have arrived at
a more opportune moment. l have or
| garized and am just incorporating the
| greatest. grande.t enterprise of the
forty that | have had to do with IN
the last five years. | can make a rich
man Of you In a year"
by crickey but you are the Teller
I'm looking forr' exclaimed the other
| My names White-Jin White I've
saved little money. and l want TO
| get rich. I'm no hog. but I want a
i span of horses, diamond pin and
enough to buy three tons Of coal Mt
once. Go ahead and tell me what you've
got I've got the rhino right here in
my pocket to hand over"
'My dear sir" purred the major as
his smile took on the look of a bunch
of ripe yellow bananas, my latest
and greatest and grandest enterprise is
| The Great American Hole In the
! Ground The capital is $5,000000 but
we have only to pay in $1,000 for adj
vertising purposes. The shares are
nonassessable and will be sold for
whatever we can get Everything that
comes in over the first thousand is 50
much velvet. am the president of
the corporation, and | want a secre-
tary. His duties will consist in help
ing me open the mail and taking out
and counting the money sent in by
suckers"
'Then it's a snlde thing?' queried
Mr. White.
mot at all, sir. On the contrary
it's perfectly legitimate enterprise
l can take up a daily paper and show
you thirty advertisements Of the same
thing. The only difference is that
while they advertise their schemes as
copper and silver mines. we are honest
enough to advertise ours as a hole in
the ground. It's just as honest as the
railroad deals taking place every day.
Our only care must be to make the
hole in the ground big enough to hold
all the money sent In by the suckers"
"But who will bite Mt Il hole in the
ground"
The Major's Scheme.
ITEMS of thousands OF people, most of
whom wouldn't buy a thirty dollar COW
for $50 If offered 10y one of their neigh
bors. They've got money to burn, and
they had as soon burn it in hole in the
ground ms anywhere else. | advertise
it simply as a hole. The public mag
nation puts gold, silver. copper oil,