The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1907-01-27

sess taxes on them, and the taxes would
pay for the park.
The mayor and the council didn't see
but what that was a square deal. so
they called a special meeting right there
and in half an hour we had the whole
thing under way.
But, Perky,"I said when we were on
the train, hurrying back to Chicago
how are you going to sell those lots?
They are nothing but mud and water,
and no sane man would even think of
paying money for them Why, if the
lot next the postoffice is worth So. those
| lots a mile away from it, and ten feet
deep in mud, wouldn't be worth two cop
per cents"
"Sell?' said Perkins, sticking his hands
| deep into the pockets of his celebrated
"Baffin Bay" pants. Sell? Who wants
| to sell? Well give EN- away, What does
the public want? Something for nothing!
| What does OF covet? Real estate! All
right, we give 'em real estate for nothingl
a lot in the Glaubus Land and Improve
ment compaGys addition to the town of
Glaubus free for ten labels soaked from
O-no-to- thingu bob water bottles. Send
in your labels and get real deed for the
lot with a red seal on it. And Perkins
pays the freight!
Did 1t go? Does anything that Perkins
the Great puts his soul into go? 1t went
with a rush. We looked up the rheuma-
tism statistics of the United States, and
wherever there was a rheumatism district
we billed the barns and fences. We sent
circulars and "follow-up'' letters and adj
vertised in local and county papers. We
shipped the water by single demijohns at
| first and then in half dozen crates. and
then In car lots. We established depots
in the big business centers and took up
magazine advertising on a big scale
Wherever man met man the catch words,
Perkins pays the freight" was banded
TO and fro. How can you afford a new
hat?' oh Perkins pays the freight p"
The comic papers made jokes about it,
the daily papers made cartoons about it,
no vaudeville sketch was compete with
out a reference to Perkins paying the
freight, and the comic opera hit of the
year was the one in which six jolly girls
clinked champagne glasses while singing
the song ending:
TO us no pleasure lost is
And we go a merry gait,
We don't care what the cost is,
For Perkins pays the freight"
AS for testimonials we scooped in
twenty-four members of Congress, eight
famous operate stars, eighty eight minis
tiers and dead loads of others.
ana our lois III the 6lduDuS tJInu ana
Improvement company's addition to the
town of Glaubus? We began by giving
full sized dwelling house lots. Then We
cut it down to business lot size. and as
the labels kept pouring in we reduced the
lots to cemetery lot size. We had lot own
ers in Alaska, Mexico and the Philip
pines and the village of Glaubus fixed up
its park and even paved the main street
with the taxes. Whenever lot owner
refused to pay his taxes the deed was
cancelled and we split the lot up into
smaller lots and distributed them to the
new label savers.
we also sent agents 20 organize Rheu-
matism clubs in the large cities. That
was Perkins greatest idea, but it was too
great.
One morning as Perkins was opening the
mail he paused with a letter open be-
fore him and let his jaw drop. l walked
over and laid my hand kindly on his
shoulder.
what is it. Perky?" asked.
He lay back in his chair and gazed at
me blanSSly. Then he spoke
1.-THE lame and the haltr' he muir
INJURED. They are coming. They are COM
ing here. Read it?"
He pushed the letter toward me feebly.
II was from the corresponding secretary
o. the Grand Rapids Rheumatic club. II
said:
"Gentlemen-The members of this club
have used Onotowatishika water for over
a year and are delighted to testify to its
merits. In fact we have used so much
that each member now owns several lots
in the Glaubus Land and Improvement
ccmpanys addition to the town of Glau-
bus and feeling that our health de-
ponds on the constant and unremitting
use of your healing waters, we have de-
cided as a whole to emigrate to Glaubus,
where we may be near the source of the
waters and secure them as they arise
bpbbling from the bosom of mother Earth.
we have withheld this pleasant knowl-