The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-10-15
DRIFTWOOD
nY pKfn a. ARMSTRONG

BY PBSL a. AH@sFNUN,A After. all, what is better for srssk. fast than dish cf aeiiclous. i saus 9lHpieo We always make it point to tell our worst jokes to girl with pretty teeth--somehow she seems to iaush s0.
 .wtna for the weaithy---but fruit for nie," ciirps the poet of The Balti- more Ean. That, fellow might appiy for a job on one of the Georgia papers after January I.
 sulphurous odors in Pennsyigania. Now this is not . suggestion to Pitts burgers--lfs . warning'
 Senator Taft says the Phliippinss are not for sale. No. neither coulo We
 There was some talk of football un- der '.rehned rules" last year, but 1uog- ing by the already large ,,r6n MsS nosrSsa os Sss- Might as well suggest . refined meth cd of hunting sriszly bears. A Texas man with forty children is 1idsnt me Houston Post Is hsfeby ap- pointed committee or one to look into this. @ ;
 Tn Baltimore just now. on account of seems to be I'm Going Back, Back to Bal'imore'
 Perhaps the discharge of that pilot to expregs himself after the bishop beat him that game of tsnnis---Atlanta Journal. pilot was the discharge or ms wratn'
 Phi Armstrong, In The Montgomery Advertiser. declares that. anyway. Waii Street bulls and bears are no man n natIise faksrs. savannah Press.
 Frost in Alabama. but who cares7 It means chestnuta,. muscadines. DOT: simmons, haws, scaly parks ana isst ing, gravy dripping, savory. delectable, Alabama 'possufl, baked q rich Tuske- gee Normal tan.
 It's so easy to tell others to take cold bath these mornings so long as you don't have to do it yourself. /. 4
 old Mother Hubbard vent to the S.gbOsrd s to get hsr SNSr Sssss aOsgfs s sh soas % 1t is now or she wasn't as fond 5f her poodle" as society women are today.
 In Shanghai Secretary Taft was giv- en . garden party on an ample lawn. How thoughtful of the chinks to give Avoirdupois Billy room to express hIa thanks and spread himself.
 A preacher in Boston suggests that men take off their hats when they vote. In A prohibition election this would display too many bald heads, which might cause people to inake too many references to aliuSiOns.
 Mary J. Holmes. who wrote many emotional novels. lived to be 7e years Oo O6 aSs Ssvs shSga Sss s Sf nsE may
 In Des Moines landlords refuse to rent to tenants unless they promise not to cook cabbage or onions. There's free country; it's come to a pretty pass when the aristocRatic odor of the onion and the delicate aroma of boil ing cabbage are not allowed to ass srt themselves.
 By way of suggestion it's not too early to begin to look about for that Thanksgiving turkey.
 LosT--Conndence in the people who reported there were bears in Louis lana. Return to T. R. and no ques- tions asked.
 A European expert announces that Chicago is the most musical American city. Also it is the most artistic" for Anthony comstock does not live there.
 A man in Pittsburg named Law spanked his daughter of 25s. the. other night for coming home late. This was the strong arm of the Law asserting itself all right.
 William Atkinson was the recent loser of COW and two pigs. George McKinsey had cow that was badly damaged by being bumped by another and knocked of d bank Into a stream below. He+ tail is broken. her back as a cabbage has appeared on her bris- ket.--Rising Sun (Md.) Dispatch.
 Tell you what, the country is live- Her than some folks think-b'gosh' in Texas' but my souPs in Tennessee!" How does your body do 1t?
 The man with the smallest brain in the world has Leen discovered but the papers fail co state what social set ne devises new amusements for,
 + ~t
 Cold Wave.
 Through my frame
 h The cold winds shoot
 tHow the wind blows through | This e..
 Summer
 SuitD -- ,
 The world Is cold
 And hard to boot s
 (This summer suio <NA
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