Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-04-13


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Take my seat, madam" 81 thank
you, sir, but get off here too."-ChI-
cago Tribune.
Sillicus-How can a man tell when
he is really in love? Cynicus-He can't
tell till it's too Philadelphia Rec
ord.
jack hear that Miss Passe Is en-
gagged Dtck-Is that so? Who Is the
happy man? Jack-0ld man Passe, Of
course.-Famille Journal.
Doctor, how can l ever repay you
for your kindness to me-" Doesn't
matter, old man. Check, money order,
or cash. milwaukee Sentinel.
Mr. Bach suppose you find that
baby brightens up the house? Mr.. Bene.
dict-Xes; we burn nearly twice the
gas we used to.--Boston Transcript
That new roomer paid two thousand
dollars for that violin he practices on"
II wish he'd trade 1t for a ten-dollar
violin he could play."-Detroit Free
Press.
| Chairman-I'm sure we be all very
sorry our secretary is not here tonight
l cannot say we miss is vacant chair.
but | do say we miss Is vacant face
Punch.
II am afraid, darling, you will very
soon forget me-" How can you think
so-see, have tied two knots In my
pocket handkerchief. -Meggendorfer
/ Batter.
Most " tn OF marrid men know
threat their wives Ike rockin'-chair,
n great comfort whn they're tired, but
apt to be In tn way Mt other times
Mr.. Dooley's Dissertations.
do you think you could learn to love
meY' the young man inquired. Learn
to love yod exclaimed the rapturous
maid. Harold could give lessons
mt it."--Louisylle Courier-Journal.
why force your child to learn hg
ures nj so early an age" That's all
right, | want him to be able 10 tell
the number when he is knocked down
by an automobile. Fliegende Batter.
Charwoman (mending carpet)-T
never thought as 'Ow | should come to
this, mum. Me that was that well ed
Dictated that afOre | was married l
couldn't even make a beef pudden.-
Punch.
But you know, madam, that In Tur-
key n bride never sees her husband
before the wedding day" Lady (wlfe
OF an inveterate clubman) How odd
We never see our. husbands after -
Literary Digest.
Her Husband--If a man steals--no
matter what IL is-he will live to regret
It, His Wife During our courtshlp
you used TO steal kisses from me. Her
Husband Well, you heard what | said
Chicago News.
Proud Owner OF New Cottage I've
been wondering what creepers TO put
OH the cottage. Which do you think
would be best, John? The Gardener
Well. sir, one OF them Vlrginlas would
cover II up quickest Punch.
"A woman always insists on having
the last word" remarked the man who
thinks he knows human nature. Yes"
answered Mr.. Meekton, grlmly. "and.
as n rule, also the first word and most
Of the intermediate words. Washing
ton star.
she-Did you enjoy the opera last
night. Herr Schwarz? He-No.
couldn't hear anything She-Why
not? IIe-Two ladies sat IN front Of
me and Chartered the whole evening
about how much they loved music
! Kleiner Witzblatt
Passenger Tin slow train, to conduc-
/ tori II say, what on earth Is this train
crawling along so slowly for? Round
the corners we hardly move at all
/ Conductor but you see, sir we
/ have ten baskets OF eggs In the baggage
car Meggendorfer Batter.
The second day drew to It's close
with the twelfth juryman still uncon-
vinced. well, gentlemen" said tho
court officer, entering quietly, shall 1.
as usuau. order twelve dinnersY"
Make it," said the foreman, eleven
dinners and q bale OF hay. New York
Press.
"Do you think that people win ever
be able 10 secure q perfectly satisfac-
tory government II doubt IT," said
Senator Sorghum. History shows that
no government has been perfectly sat
isfactSry 10 more than one person at
time, and he was the one who hap
pened to be the boss" Washington
star.
Knew Him Too Well