The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-03-24
1t was Just thirty-one minutes and

1t was Just thirty-one minutes and
eighteen seconds after o'clock last
Monday morning when the Commander
Bingham apron and sauntered out to-
wards the little back porch which leads
into our kitchen.
Sticking her neatly-kalsomined nose.
which had been whitened with face-poW-
der only half an hour before. ont into the
open air, she gave one Or two approving
shifts, indicative Of extreme content, ana
then she threaded her way back into the
dining-room, where Ink, the family cat
the remnants Of the breakfast food.
In the brief interim described, the
observation-disclosures nose OF the .Comman-
der-in-Chief had smelt the approach OF
spring. The odor OF the yernal season
thrilled her with pleasure. And with
the thrill came the hunger to dl8-to
puncture the bosom OF Mother Earth.
Some primordlal instinct, recaiilng inc
good old days when women tilleo me sou
while the warrior men hunteo' sa'u ~
the energetic housewife: 60 out anu
scrape around in tho dirt
Ana a. the Commander in Chief pre-
TT tripping to the box Of family -cutIery'
she selected therefrom the buckhorn
caryinR-knlfe, wherewith I am eS-
nected to dissect the semi-monthly tur-
keys that grace our table.
No true women would dig with any
ching more practical or less expensive
than a three dollar carvingIkni1e. VI I
| like men, they arc no respecters . u
steel, Were razors built on slightly
| different plan, the Commander-in-Chle t
! would have selected one OF ny
hiskor-eradicators for her hortlcul-
tural pursuits. But, under the circum-
| stances, she was Aat!sHcu Wy" s''o
carvIng-knife.
Az has been explained, she wanted
| the earth-not with fence around "
as is usually the case, but IN table
| spoonful lots.
It was the back yard which aroused
her energies for in this limited terri
tory she saw picture which gratel
/ on her nerves, and made her Amazon
ian soul shrek out in Indignation o.
3 the disorder prevailing on the prem
ises.
4 Last summer. when the perspir'nt
dog star was frsklng unlicensed
\ through the heavens, we had glorlou!
y flower garden In this same back YARD
but autumn and winter, combined Wit
the COOK, inc Ckl1AuIoA u'A' SA'o a. Stso
barrel, had made the place more IN
savory than city dump.
The situation. too. was greatly RANT
fed by the clothea-lines, which max
locomotion perilous at night and per
4 petually present the most dangerou
I | OF traps for unsuspectlng chns o
unwary noses.
Mlngllng with the shriveled stalks 9
the black-ey Susans were severa
empty shoe- polish bottles. while !
the northwest corner Of the fence
where the hollyhocks rloted MI sum
mer in crimson, pink and white, wa
a goodly supply OF old bones secrete
! by the neighborhood pups. who o.
come hither o. nights.
Hard by-a dreary congloIneration
:. gray and drab and BROWNIES tn
J ramshackle lattice work designed
:, throw a curtain over the garbage ba
: rel, and to ornament that aromat
). receptacle in the days when the bire
and mosquitoes sing tsd the honst
files bite. Time was when the morn
ms glories and the honeysuckle ne
done what they could TO obliterate IN
Y eyesore, but last Monday all their graz
deur had departed save 9 few crum'
ling vines which now hung Wltn