Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-10-17
MR.. BRIGGS
WAS TACTFUL

When Mr.. Briggs came home one
evening and found his wife with eyes
suspiciously red he only kissed her
as usual and made no remarks.
Briggs was man who prided himself
on his tact. He studiously guided
the conversation on commonplace sub.
jects while they sat at supper. Mrs.
Briggs answered in monosylables Of
forced cheerfulness.
Now, my dear, what is the mat
ter?" he suddenly asked when the
meal was finished
"Oh, nothing replied Mrs. Briggs.
biting her lip and with eyes east
down.
Aha, Watson, the beautiful lady
has q beautiful redness about the
eyes. She has been weeping. Ergo,
she has something troubling her."
soliloquized Briggs in a humorous
way he had of burlesquing the famous
detective of fiction.
Mrs. Briggs pouted, hesitating be
tween tears and smile. At this OPP
perfume moment her husband arose,
went around the table and put an
arm about her shoulders.
Now, tell me all about 1t, little
woman" he said. you see, IL does
no good denying that something is
troubling you. My powerful analy-
tic and Unexpectedly deductive
mind tells me otherwise"
After a moment Mrs. Briggs spoke.
III never give another cent to that
hateful fresh air fund, never" she
said, and held a handkerchief to her
eyes.
What have they done to hurt
your" he ventured.
Mrs. Briggs arose, went to the side,
board and took out paper. Pointing
to paragraph, she babe her husband
read. 1t was under the list of fresh
air fund subscriptions and read as fol,
lows:
"One check was received signed "A
Friend This Of course, cannot DO
credited"
Briggs read the item and looked at
his wife.
But l don't see-does this make
you feel bad?" he puzzled.
Certainly, stupid, sent the check"
she explained. "You see i have been
reading about the poor waits that live
in those big tenements on the East
side, and have such pinched little
lives, and lots Of them die every sum.
mer. And they keep one of them In
the country, where they can drink
milk, and pick flowers, and romp on
the green grass and get healthy for
five dollars. So l decided | could
spare ten dollars, and sent It. Oh,
felt so good, thinking that two little
children were out having good time
on my ten dollars"
"And how did you sign the check
you sent?" asked Briggs, trembling
with suspicion of the truth.
II just signed 1t A Friend" re-
piled his wife. II didn't want to let
my right hand know what my left
hand was doing. So signed 1t that
way, and now comes that horrid let.
ter"
Briggs spared for breath. When
he conld trust himself to speak he
did so, guardedly.
"M'm-most extraordinary" he
unused judicially. Very untactful on
their part to say the least. STILL II
may be that they use the full name
system. II Is, in fact, quite pos
sible, | may say probable"
THE full name system?" asked Mrs.
Briggs doubtfully.
Yes" explained Briggs. you see,
it liz check system in which the
full name must be signed and no pseu-
donvm. think, 1t is my opinion,
you should have signed your full
name, and then requested In an
accompanying letter that they should
credit your subscription to "A Friend
This system Is almost universally
used now"
Irs. Briggs eyes were Wide with
wonder
Dear me, might have thought OF
that" she said. Business is so COM
plicated. I'll send another check"
Briggs was man who prided him
self on his tact.