davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-27
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
IFrom the Chicago News.l


May it be the merriest of the merry.
Here's where Santa Claus toys with
youthful affections.
It's now up to the bashful young
man to mistle-toe the mark.
Put on your -this-is-lo vely-and-
just smile.
Christmas evergreens are more
plentiful than the Christmas green
backs.
Get busy and make Christmas pres
ents, but don't give yourself away.
It's difficult for a man to lose his
bad reputation or a Christmas neck
tie.
If you don't get what you want
here's hoping you'll want what you
get.
And here's hoping that you will at
least be proud of your family Christ
mas tree.
The more rope a mans wife gives
him at Christmas the less he enjoys
smoking.
Blessed is he who maketh Christmas
presents and expecteth nothing in re-
turn. for he shall not be disappointed
1t may take nine tailors to make a
man, but one Christmas is easily
enough to break him IL he is the
happy father of nine children.
1t takes a lot of will power on the
part of a young man to enable him to
remove the price tag from an expen-
sive Christmas present to his best girl
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-27
AYHAWKER JOTS

Scarlet fever is the epidemic in
Erie. The second death occurred a
couple of days ago.
Garnett has don't grow old"
club. One of their favorite amuse-
ments is to read letters from old time
friends.
An lola student has been victim
lied by some unknown miscreant
who forged his name to two checks.
The student who has a bank account
must expect accidents of various
kinds.
A Leavenworth school boy recently
attempted to commit suicide, because
he was in love with the school ma'am.
While his illness was of serious ma
ture it hardly called for such a severe
remedy.
The business men of Parsons have
arranged for a luncheon on the day
after Christmas. In any other town
the people wouldn't be sufficiently re-
covered from the Christmas festivities
to tackle such a celebration as that.
Henry Glotfelter. of Cummings,
brought part of an ear of corn into
Atchison the other day which the
Atchison Globe says is a part of what
was the largest ear of corn ever seen
in those parts. The big ear was
caught when it was half way through
shedder The thick end, measured
ten and one-half inches in circum-
ference.
Here is a brain teaser from some
unknown exchange: According to
the press dispatches an aged Indian
named Shot Himself got shot him
self. 1t should be explained, however,
that Shot Himself didn't shoot him
self. 1t was somebody else who shot
Shot Himself While Shot Himself
was himself shot it was the other fell
low who shot not himself but Shot
Himself. Anyway the correspond
ent who sent out that story must have
been half shot himself
The editor Of the Rossville Re-
porter published the following notice:
THE editor will protect the reserve
fund on deposit in his watch pocket
by following the clearing house plan
adopted by other financial institutions.
currency Will be made according to
size of bill, and bits of paper will be
issued showing balance due. There
will be but one payment per month.
Creditors must be identified and show
signs of great distress"
Winfield is sore perplexed. The
question which is now agitating the
minds of the people there is whether
Frank Mendenhalls bull dog COM
fort to keep friends from harm. The
pup was with a gang of men who
were setting off dynamite charges.
When they lit the fuses for the first
charge they naturally ran to place
of safety. The dog went with them
part OF the way but turned back and
began to fight the burning fuses. He
to the charge and then-well the rest
of this tale is too sorrowful to relate.
There was not enough of his dOgship
left to permit of a burial
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-27

these years had sat across the aisle
from him every Sunday morning IN
church, this slender. vibrant creature
trembling in the might of her demand
for happiness for his moth erless girl
Was this the woman whom he had
believed without feeling?
"Hettyl'' he cried. and held out his
hand.
She took It and stood looking sadly
up at him.
rHetty, I didn't think you cared
in that way. thought you hated me
for the way I'd treated you-after
goin' with you for two years. I never
thought you missed me as I've missed
you all these years. I'd give them all
only to live over the two happy years
when we kept company. How Differ
ent-'
you've remembered" the widow
cried, and her wan cheeks hushed:
I'm very lonesome here, Samuel, but
I won't be any more when I know
you've remembered-now go out and
put up your horse. Tommy's away Tor
the holidays an I'm all alone. The
young folks're coming back here for
dinner and you must join us. sociable
like. an forgive them Tor running
"Hetty." pleaded the squire. the
Tets run away, tool My horse is bet
term Charles; We'll get to the par
sonage most as quick as they 90. Here
put on your wraps!' he commanded.
Not after the way I talked-it looks
as though 1 was hintin'-"
We've wasted altogether too much
time Already. Hetty: Put this scarf
bunnit."
ooh, Samuel we're too old to be so
foolish" she faltered.
Were not too old to love-" he as
Copyrighted, 1907, by C. H. SUIT
cliffe.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-27
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.
[From the Philadelphia Record. ]

lFrom the Philadelphia Record.1
Some people speak as they think.
only more frequently.
The holy state of matrimony is GER
tainly not South Dakota.
Many a man boasts that he stands
alone when he won't stand a loan.
You can't always tell how low the
thermometer is from the price tag.
Faint heart ne'er won fair lady. So
be it; lots of us prefer brunettes, any,
how.
mo, Maude, dear; what has become
of the bicycle is scarcely psychology
cal problem.
What's the use of sitting your ashes?
You'll only blow the money you save on
ice next summer.
Divorce observes the Cynical
Bachelor. has prevented many a mar
rage from being a failure"
Tommy-"Pop. what is an optimist ?"
Tommy's Pop-"An optimist, my son,
is a man who hangs up his stocking on
Christmas and expects to get an auto
mobile in it"
The religious editor was struggling
with the query, rs it a sin to play
poker?'' After much prayerful consid-
Grafton he wrote the following reply:
Yes, the way some people play it,
Blobbs-"They say Miss Giddigirl
doesn't wear WE'LL SlobbS-"I don't
know about that as I have only seen
her twice; once was in ball gown ard
the other time in a bathing suit, and
as to not wearing we'll I can swear she
doesn't wear much
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-27
Steal Big safe in DAYLIGHT.

The nerviest robbery that has come
to light in many a day was made pub
lie the other day by CohenI& Co.. who
have fur emporium on the top floor
at 10 East Fifteenth street. In broad
daylight week ago heavy safe-mov-
ing truck manned by four men backed
up to the curb. One of the men placed
danger" signs on the sidewalk while
the other went to the roof and rugged
a block and tackle over one of Cohen's
windows. A few moments later the big
two ton safe belonging to the firm was
swung out Of the widow and lowered
to the street. while the policeman on
post stood innocently by warning away
pedestrians. The lowering of the safe
was done in an expert manner, with no
apparent effort at haste. The safe was
loaded upon the truck and the four men
drove off with it after carefully remov-
ing their block and tackle and danger
signs. A member of the firm who came
around half an hour after the truck
had disappeared found that the door
had been forced with a Jimmy. He
could not imagine what had become
of the safe until he talked with his
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. York World
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-27

a fortune hunter. He has baked at
the amount of the marriage settle
ment which was made to him and the
wedding is reported to have been post
poned. That is not the worst feature
of the affair. The gossip about it, ac-
cording to a morning contemporary. is
the topic for discussion in 1.-The
saloons of Newport. It must cut the
Vanderbilts deeply to think that COM
mon ordinary DRINKS have the privi-
lege to discuss their affairs in such an
open manner as to warrant the news
papers calling attention to the fact.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-27
GLOBE SIGHTS.
[From the Atchison Globe.l

lFrom the Atchison Globe.1
When a mother comes down town
with her little child she walks slowly,
to accommodate her pace to that of
the child, but when she starts home
she is late, and the child Is compelled
to run to keep up.
The thing that always makes a wo-
man mad: When she is saying to a
guest at the table that for some rea-
son her cake Is not as good as usual,
for her husband to say he thinks 1t
is the best cake she ever made.
When a wife discovers that her hus-
band is tired of having her kiss him
she never after that neglects it. She
thinks 1t a sign that she is a Lovely
Character because she often kissed her
husband when he doesn't like IT, Men
are such towards that they never con-
fess that they are tired of kissing thedr
own wives.
A man went into a book store to
buy Christmas present. On the coun-
Pilgrims Progress" He asked the
book seller If that book was still read.
1T don't know that 1t is still read"
the book seller replied, but people still
buy it at Christmas"
Fashion also controls emotions. It
is no longer the thing for a woman
to weep at a play, and to weep indis-
criminately at funerals, or to weep
when she wants her own way. In brief
the woman who sheds few on every
possible occasion has retired to the
attic, and is reposing there along with
the big sleeve and the hoopskirt.
No man Is so dull that he cannot
invent an excuse for being conceited.
The man who is very poor considers
that he has done quite well. consider
ing that his father never did" any
thing for him. The man who Is yerv
ignorant thinks he is quite smart, when
it is considered that he had no school
ing and the tramp, as he walks the
dusty road of fate, thinks 1t is to his
credit that he did not starve to death
years ago.
1t sometimes happens that a young
man of small means, but of great love.
gives his girl for Christmas an ivory
toilet case containing every toilet inn
plement that the hands, feet and face
ever dreamed of. Years after. this
toilet case tells the result of his struR-
it travels to the spare bedroom, and in
time to the attic, but If he found life a
losing game, 1T becomes an ornament
in the parlor.
Once upon time there was a desir
able position to give out, and a well
known good fellow was an applicant
But the man who had the position to
give out was extremely cautious. and
did not accept the good fellow with
the promptness which was expected:
indeed, he selected a quiet plodder who
had great head for details. Being
pressed for a reason for this decision
the man said: THE good fellow is too
liberal, and too careless and in look
ing out for impossible big things he
will neglect the little things within his
reach. In short, he is too good a FELLOW
to suit my business. although. person.
ally. ] like him."
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-27
JOURNAL ENTRIES

All actresses who marry and retire
from the stage may be said to be ex-
acting wives.
Paradoxical though it is. when a
mans tongue is thick he makes thin
excuses to his wife.
y =
It's most unfas hionable to be pow
erty stricken and it's likewise uncom-
Portable.
When a platonic friendship develops
to the point where the girl starts in to
reform the man in variety of small
particulars, well-every one can guess
what is liable to happen.
Here's a chance for some dramatist
to inject little realism in his work.
Let him have the heroine a brunette
in the first act and a blonde in the
second.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-27
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

TFrom the New York Press
A man that has to be reformed can't
be.
A woman understands mathematics
well enough to subtract very accurate
ly from her age.
The smaller girl is the more of her
seems to be able to snuggle up under
a mans arm.
Anyway, man gets some of his own
money back when he pays for the
Christmas present his wife gives him
and has chorged to him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-27

Helen Maloney, the heiress to mil
Hons and a young lady of many matri-
monial mishaps, must be something of
q multitudinous woman. In fact she is
a wonder. One day a New York paper
will interview her in France. The next
day another enterprising sheet will
have a talk with the mother superior
Of a convent in Italy where the girl is
in seclusion and the next day, still an
other paper will have her automobiling
in New Jersey, u. s. A, with her par
ents. Wonder If the young woman
knows just where she really is?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-27

Jeff Davis. the fiery senator from
Arkansas, who denounces trusts in no
uncertain terms, evidently believes in
a family trust One of his perQuisiteS
as a senator is the appointment of
private secretary at a salary of $1,000
a year and a laborer at 5000 a year.
He has conferred the appointments on
his two DAUGHTERS
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-27

Topeka coal merchants are certainly
in a dilemma Like other people they
do not know just when the pumps at
6cipio are going to get busy and then
they don't know whether or not these
pumps will give the relief expected
from them. Their third don't know is as
to whether they should lay in a big
supply of coal If they don't and the
supply of natural gas fails to do it's
work when the cold weather comes they
will be roundly blamed by the people
for not having enough coal on hand for
all. II they do get in a big supply they
may suffer quite a financial loss So
whatever way the predicament is look
ed at 1t is an uncomfortable one for the
coal men.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-27

William ]. Bryan gets a seat in the
United States senate. Don't let any
one get the idea that it was William
Jennings Bryan. No such luck for
him. This Bryan's middle name is
James and he comes from Florida,
having been appointed to the vacancy
caused by the death of Stephen Russell
Mallory. This gives a chance for each
of the gentlemen to insist that there's
nothing in a name
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-27

That was an original and worthy
charity of the Salvation army workers
in New York to hunt up and provide
Christmas dinners for the poverty
stricken families of men who are in
prison. 1t is an example that may well
be followed when charity is dispensed
not only around Christmas but at
other times in the year. 1t is on the
families of criminals that the heaviest
punishment falls.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-27

Wellington is needlessly excited over
the fact that there is a genius in the
Sumner county Jail A fellow there has
made a miniture ferris wheel out of
paper which he sets in motion with the
exhaust steam from a radiator. This
is a novelty but it is nothing unusual
for a genius to be locked up. The jails
and prisons are full of them. So are
the insane aSylumS.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-27
THE PRESENTS OF YEsTERYEAR,

Again we try, we tried before.
To give each person a thing to prize;
Again we plan. as we planned of yore,
For sweet remembrance of friendships
ties
Our purses then were of goodly size
We gave and took with a heart of cheer
But times have altered. Who may sur
mise
Where are the presents of yesteryear?
That thingumbob that we never wore
Safe wrapped in the bureau drawer it
If passed to Kate it will fix her score,
And MabeIs gift to Eliza flies;
It's use would certainly stump the wise.
But on 1t goes with never a fear
Ihe list grows shorter. Who may sur
mise
Where are the presents of yesteryear?
FRESH as the day that it left the store
Ihe Joneses gift to the Browns applies;
We send the stuff from the folks next
door
10 gladden. our aunt's far distant eyes.
Inc need of grace to the heavens cries,
Jess fills the gap and our list is clear.
May never they meet beneath the skies
Wnere are the presents of yesteryear?
Kris kringle, ride in your merry guise
Io scatter our tokens far and near,
And do not blab should the question rise.
Where are presents of yeSteryear?
-McLandburgh Wilson in n. Y. Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-27

Surely the shades of ancient his
toric Rome are writing in agony.
Customs are being modernized to such
an extent that the representations of
the birth of Christ in many of the
churches on the dawn of Christmas
day have been supplanted by the
cinematOgraph.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-27

It's happened. Count Szecheyni,
the wonderfully wealthy Hungarian
nobleman who was to marry Miss
Gladys Vanderbilt for the love of her
own homeIy SELF. has turned out to be
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-27

Lots of things happened throughout
the country on Christmas day that were
more worthy of notice in the news
papers than the fact that Harry Thaw
gave each of the prisoners in The
Tonbs of New York a present.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-27

Her Father (reluctantly)-Well. I
reckon you may marry my daughter.
absently)-Thanks; III take a rye
highball.-Utica observer.
The Author wish you would put
speak my lines and wait for the
laughs? The Actor-My last train
goes at midnight!-Philadelp In
Quirer.
ind ~ don't like to act as ., !u .sES
it. I wouldn't like to do nobody a
case. One lawyer is suing another
lawyer."-San Francisco Bulletin.
Restrained Himself. Mamma
And what did you say when Mr.. Tite-
wood gave you a penny? TOMMY
was as polite as could be and didn't
say nothin'.-Cleveland Leader.
Who Will Answer Miss
Irma, you were a man and was n
girl; would you try to kiss me?, Il
really do not know. What would you
do ?''-F1iegande Batter.
Sincere Sympathy-"Tm so sorry
said Mrs. Parvenue. bidding good
night to her guests, after the recep-
people y."-The Taller.
Sir. have you room for this little poem
I have just dashed off?"
Certainly :all the room you want.Noth-
ing in the wastebasket at all this early in
the day.''-Baltimore American.
Mamma-Did you thank the lady when
she gave you the candy, Tommie7
she'd give me some more and was go
ing to thank her all at once."-Yonkers
Statesman.
Singleton want to ask you a
question, old man. Wedderly-Come
on with it. Singleton-Does a woman
always mean what she says? We'd
derly-During courtship she doesn't,
but after marriage you bet she does.
Chicago News.
"Quite a joke about Brumley: he was
secretly married three months ago."
"Yes-ah-who was the joke onT'-Lou-
isVille Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-27

Fred S. Jackson, the states attorney
general. sings loud praises for the
teachers of the state. Everyone joins
in the chorus and there will be a fear
full din because of the efforts of each
to shout the Ioudest.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-27

Topekans don't care much over the
possibility Of the American Association
withdrawing from the organized base
ball field. But they would like to see
the Topeka team get in higher class
al
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-27
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State Journal is a member of the
Associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report Of that great oews or
ganization for the exclusive afternoon
publication N Topeka.
The news is received in The State jour
nal building over wires for this sole pur-
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-27

Auto Hits Kansas Woman in Wash
ington." is a head appearing in news
paper over a story telling about an ac-
cident- 1t seems to be pertinent to in
quire just what part of the anatomy
Is now designated as Washington"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-27

This is the season of the year for
the exchange of misf1t gloves, socks,
shirts and all sorts of wearing apparel
that generous sisters and mothers
have heaped on fathers and brothers.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-27
FRON OTHER PENS
A BRYAN HYPOTHESIS.

Socalled southern leaders," who do
not lead at all but are merely abject
echoes of the Democratic machine,
| continue to assure their followers
that Bryan is the appointed standard
bearer of the party. 1t is worthy OF
notice that they no longer assert his
personal greatness, but conf1ne them
selves to the proposition that he Will
defeat any other candidate the Demo-
cracy may select. The question is not
that of his actual fitness or of the hon.
est preference of the voters. Demo-
Gratis are told in plain words that they
must nominate Bryan unless they
would incur his enmity and thereby
incite disaster.
1t is convincing proof of the de-
cadence of the organization that its
prophets resort to this particular ex-
pedient and that the Democratic null
titudes accept it without protest. The
party must be destitute indeed of
brains and courage and viri1ity if it is
to be left without alternative In the
event of Bryans abdication. The fact
that his leadership has hitherto been
fatal the further fact that he has lost
at least two southern states to the
party and has utterly failed to hold
other Democratic fields bequeathed to
him by former occupants-all this and
more that might be mentioned seems
to have escaped the notice of the
south. Bryan'S fuglemen still pro-
claim the doctrine of hopelessness
and the southern Democracy stu
absorbs it with patient and meek ig-
norance.
In this part of the country the Bry-
an hypothesis excites only sorrow and
compassion. We know that Bryan
could not possibly defeat anybody
anywhere. The south's soidity
would be assured in the event of
candidate other than Bryan, and out
side of the south, the most obscure
and unconsidered substitute would
have a better chance.-New York Sum-
STANDPATTERS' PRED1CAMENT.
The standpatters of Iowa got them
selves into a nice boat by boiling Gov
ernor Cummins a year ago, and they
have just begun to find it out: The
detection was 50 widespread tnat IN
all standpat counties the republican
vote On governor fell off by hundreds,
and the party majority in the state
was cut from the normal $4,000 to
about 10000. Progressive counties
generally gave Cummins the run Re-
publican strength. Now 1t IS discover
ed that the representation In next
years convention to choose national
delegates will be apportioned On the
basis of the vote on governor IN 1915
This gives the Cummins people all the
ing their fingernails in dismay.-Lin-
coin News.
PUT 1T ON THE WINK.
his wife that he is coming home to din
ner should he place the transmltter on
his stomach?' asks the Baltimore Sun.
OF course, of course, and wnen ne teie-
phones that business has detained MIN
down town he should place the trans
inter upon his wink.-Louisville Cour-
ier-JournaL
A BRILLIANT SCHEME
The car hopes to restore peace IN
hi 11N ting