Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1907-10-30

Don't chuck IN old roots for straIgnr
wood.
IF you sell a cord of wood. deliber
cord
"Dar am opportunity for rebatin' In
de wood business. Jest you take no
tice dat rebatin' am became one of de
lost arts. In about year more some
Judge VIII be found who has backbone
'nun to send a rebater to de peniten-
| tiary, whar he belongs. 1t has been
! diskivered dat de trusts and de rail-
roads don't own nor run dis kentry.
/ One price to all and no rebatin'. Dey
won't believe out dar In Buffalo dat an
honest man has come among dem, and
for de first six months you'll be looked
upon as strange anirnal who has es-
capped from some museum. but bimeby
you'll be accepted for what you am,
and de wood will begin to roll out and
de dollars to roll In. You may now sot
down while ask If Pickles Smith hap
| pens TO be present.
Pickles seemed to be expecting call
and was quickly on his feet and wait
/ Ing Tor what was coming to him.
/ ''Brudder Smith," said the president
after helping himself to glass Of hard
cider from the pitcher beside his ell
bow, you was ODER TO my cabin last
night"
Eyes, sab"
"You come ODER dere to tell me dat
you had a chance to go into business
and to borrow 81 of me to start your
Yes. sah.''
A Humble Beginning.
ut was de soap business, soap to
clean clothes. and de 50 would buy
you forty cakes and give you a start.
You got de money, and | had some
thin to say TO you. What l said | re-
peat we're. De people of dis kentry
want squar' deal In soap as well as
In de Panama canal It's a humble
beginnin' to peddle cakes of soap from
house to house. but ii de peddler keeps
truth In view it may end in soap fac
tory kiverin' an acre of ground You
can't blame de people at large for mis-
trustin' you at first It's fur you to
tShA NC itAtAA anu ltl GIL set Nilt uS
soap will do. What de civilized world
am slghin' for today am a soap dat
viii take out grease spots. Have you
got itg VIII 1t do 1t cherry day In lie
week, Sundays and holidays ineluded2
Am 1t all soap or half mush? Am it
harmless If de baby gets hold of it, or
will 1t bring about funeral?
Hardships of Great Men.
"Brudder Smith, can't say dat AL
eXander de Great started out as soap
peddler | don't know ancient history
well huff to say dat Plato or Cicero
carried soa2 from house to house, |
have never heard 1t said dat our Wash
ington even used soap to take de grease
spots out Of his uniform after lie got
through maxim US free people, but
dis ! kin tell you: De honest, truthful
man who am peddlin' soap from house
to house todhy hain't gwne to be ped
din it two years from now. He's
shuh to get 2 boost up de ladder, Some
one am gwine to be wlllin' to put in
capital agin honesty. Right we're and
right now I'm sayin' dat I'll risk $500
on You sooner dan EN in half de
amount wild O butcher 40 am intend
In to work off all de bones at d. same
price as de meat.
"All you folks dat have had your ears
open have heard some wonderful things
In de last two or three years. De cheat
and liar and swindler-de man and de
men whose motto am DE public be
damned'-am on de run, and de pow
ers dat be am stretebln' out de strong
arm for de protection of de people in
ginerai. Jest at present most of our
prisons have got de sign of To Rent
hung out You won't have to wait
moren two years longer to find 'em
chuck full and runnin' ober. and you'll
Inquar for men in high places to find
dat dey have changed DER postofilce
address Let us now go home"
NJ. QUAD.