The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1907-06-08

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"Is he out of dangery' mo. The
doctor still attends him" Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
"Would you get married if you were
me?" II don't believe l could-if /
were you."-HoustOn Post.
Wise-Now, he's got what l call
"horse sense" Ascum-How, for in
stance? Wise-He never gets on one.
Philadelphia Press.
He-I always have my evening din
ners served la carte. She-From one
Of those night lunch wagons, suppose.
Chicago Daily News.
mabel accepts more rings from men
than any girl 1 know" Il don't under
stand" "She's telephone operator"
Milwaukee Sentinel.
do you see any great future for
Panama." Certainly. Look at the
great excursion resort it has already
become. "-Washington Star.
Whyte-So you went to that special
list for your rheumatism. Did he give
you relief? Browne-He relieved me
of ten dollars.-Somerville Journal.
II admires a man. said Uncle Eben,
"dat keeps hopin' fob de best. But l
doesn't like to see him sit down n call
it days work. Washington Star.
"Do you consider a chauffeur worth
two hundred dollars month"; "Well,
the last one l had ran away with my
wife, and you knew my wife, old man"
Life.
A woman in northern Missouri has
sued an editor because, in writing the
obituary of her husband, he stated He
has gone to happier home. kansas
City Post.
Patience you admire her
hair? Patrice- Indeed, 1 do! l al
ways admired it. In fact, came near
buying it before she did.-Yonkers
Statesman.
st. Peter-What makes you so busy !
Recording Angel-Taking the names OF
New Workers who are still insisting
that they have no taxable property
Harper's Bazaar.
Hyker-You don't seem to be worry
ing any about your failure in business.
Pyker-Oh, no; that's one of the things
I have turned over to my creditors
Chicago Daily News.
Myer-There goes the widow Naggs.
They say she drove her husband to an
untimely grave. Gyer-Well, that isn't
so bad. She might have made him
walk there.-Chicago Daily News.
Mr.. Iggs-Is your program full up,
Miss 'Awkins? Miss 'Awkins (under a
slight misapprehension)- Not much it
amt. I've 'ad nothin' to eat since I've
been ere. What times upper?-Pick-
Me-Up.
He-Oh, please, Mile. Jeanne, do not
call me Mr.. Durand. She (coyly)-Oh,
but our acquaintance is SO short. Why
should l not call you that? well,
chiefly because my name is Dupont"
NUS LOlSlIS.
Benedick-That luminous paint is a
splendid invention. Singleton-What
do you use it for? Benedick-We paint
the baby's face so we can give him a
drink in the night without lighting the
Chicago Chronicle.
He (after the refusal)-Had l been
rich, perhaps your answer would have
been quite different. She-Perhaps.
He-But poverty is no crime. She
Oh, yes, it is-and the punishment is
hard labor.-Illustrated Bits.
'My daughter is positively delighted
with her new piano." said Mrs. Mex
dore; "she's quite familiar, you know,
with all the classic composers
Familiar" exclaimed Mrs. Peppery,
why she's positively fippant phil
adelphia Press.
The Gentleman Farmer (anxiously)
What in the world, Uncle Totterly,
do you suppose is the matter with my
hens? Why, this morning 1 found six
Of them lying on their backs, cold and
stiff, with their feet sticking up in the
air. The Ancient Man (after a suit
able season of cogitation) Yer hens is
dead, Mr.. Cittily.-Puck.
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