The Washington herald., 1907-09-08
Maria'S Midnight Lectures.
LECTURE No. 4.

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Right up there atween the shoul-
ders. Job! My. how it hurts. Neither
attack O. that luubago, ] reckon.
What time is it. Job? Past p o'clock!
Indeed, and you've only been home
about an hour. No. I'm not a-goin' to
scold; it's awful good Of you TO rub
my back with hartshorn Hniment I
wish, though. you'd have used that
goose grease I wanted you 70; I'm
sure il would have done me a world OF
good. Grandmother always used il
when she had the misery in her knee
Smells bad
That's Just like you. Job Shrew;
can't even rub my back a little when
I'm suffering Ike anything without
complaining about sdmething What's
the smell o. goose-grease compared
to my pain. wonder? Right there in
the middle, job, Rub harder.
It's fine a-laying here on my face
and getting q chance TO talk to you
and know that you're not going to
sleep. Keep rubbing, job
I'm glad you're not one OF them
Earle kind OF husbands that has an
affinity and wants 10 ship me of TO
Europe I wouldn't go. though-not
me! I'd Ike to see myself give up my
lawful husband 70 any other hussy.
no matter how pretty she was. An
artist. An artists no better than any
body else. I guess. MY first cousin.
jim Riley, was an artist. Travelled all
over the country. he did. painting a
picture of a man carrying a box Ia
beled 'Horsa-the perfect breakfast
food His morals wasn't any too good.
either. and while he was gone bis wife
had to take In washing and mend
ing to support her and the fam
fly. Not that Jim had any 'affin-
fly unless It was drink. He said
he ate So much OF that Horse
stuff it made him thirsty-so there
may have been some excuse. Afini-
ties. indeed! II ever see you with an
affinity. Job. there's going to be trou-
BILE; you mark my words. Put some
more hartshorn on
Il notice that Prince Wilhelm has
started back home after ali his gal
livanting about down to Coney Island
and up on top Of that high building
in New York I must say that he
seems a better sor: of prince than
some Of them royal families, and so
far's I've seen there amt 10 chorus
girl got any advertisement out Of him.
But I notice that while he's been
over here Dr. Egan's been a-going
over to bis old home and a calling
on his pa and ma, the King and Queen
of Sweden. They do say that all
President Roosevelt sent DR.. Egan
over there for was 10 study the swed-
ish sagas and the other kinds of
massage, but I bet his going's got
something to do with Wilhelm's cut
ting up. I don't trust these blue
blooded young fellows. do you? Job.
Amt getting sleepy. are you?
Seems to me that the women have
been coming to the front in the news
recently, job; tell you, you men can't
keep US down. There's that Miss Car
ter in New York. She was smart
one. She caught that cashier with all
them millions in his dress-suit case
and she got all the money she wanted
and now she's to get $1,000 more for
giving up to the police what she
couldn't carry away. II she'd been
man she'd have spent all that money
for drink. I suppose.
Then there's that Mrs. Pepper. the
owner of Bright-Eyes'; she's got 'em
all fooled. What If she couldn't read
a sealed letter in the court room?
That amt he way real mediums
work! What she needed was few
minutes in the back parlor with a
steaming kettle and a haIrpin, then 1
bet she could have read it. all right,
all right. They can make as much fun
of mediums as they want to. but I re-
member Jane Dabney. who went 10
one once and paid a dollar, and the
lady went into a trench-well,
trance, then: what does It matter
and she told Jane all about her hired
girl having broke her best cut glass
jelly dish, and Jane went right home,
and, though she did find the Jelly dish
all right, she caught the hired girl
sparkling in the kitchen. tell you,
Job. there's lots in these mental
things II you'll only study 'em. Of
course. I don't know who Bright
Eyes Is, but It seems 20 me that she's
cost Mr.. Vanderbilt lot Of money, not
bnt what he can afford it-an them
VanderhiIts is rich.
Il see that Capt Hobson's still a
talking. I can't understand it,
thought he was married some time
ago. Seems to me he must have mar