davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-19

fact-invariable In such matters-that
certain degree of Halloween license
Is permitted in Difference to tradition
ana custom. This license Is seized
upon by the vicious and larcenous MS
an excuse for their operations. The
result Is seen In wholesale damage to
property and in serious losses by theft.
1t Is probably too much to expect any
reform In the matter, since the excuse
That Halloween, like Christmas, comes
but once a year will be deemed suffi-
cient answer to the complaints of those
who have had their property destroyed
or stolen. 1t may be said, neverthe-
less, that IL 1t became known that the
law against malicious mischief and
larceny would be enforced on Hallow-
cen as on all other nights of the year,
there would be a stop to the annoy
ances and outrages which many peo-
pie now suffer. 1t Is simply a cues
tion of executing the laws.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-19

Possibly In order to correct an i'm
preston fostered by explosive orators
and public speakers, and emphasized by
occasional developments, Alfred Van
derbilt has ventured to speak In de
Tense OF the conjugal harmony of men
or large wealth. Himself multi-milI
ionaire, he has the courage to assume
that rich men love their families quite
as well as poor men, and that the emo
lions or love, and constancy, and devo-
ton are not necessarily completely sup
pressed because a man has had the
fortune to add to his income and &C.
cumuiate wealth beyond that of the
average citizen. The special point of
MS argument Is that only the people of
wealth and distinction are singled out
Tor opprObrium or ridicule when the
marriage bells are little out Of tune.
Nobody cares how often or how VIC
lently Mr.. and Mrs. Pauper quarrel or
how quickly they betake themselves to
the divorce court, but let the slightest
cloud appear In the matrimonial sky of
Mr.. and Mrs. Dives aud the whole
country Is profoundly agitated. All
the details of the dreadful affair are
eagerly sought, and many are the i'm
proving morals deduced In eloquent dis
courses from the pulpit or at the fire.
side. The habit of generalizing from
specific Instances Is not a safe one.
All millionaires do not divorce their
loyal wives to marry chorus girls, and
all women of wealth do not suspect
their husbands of losing every tie of
family love and obligation. Even In
Pittsburg great riches are not synony-
nous with marital infeliclty, and the
proportion of rich men who quarrel
noisily with their wives and finally d.
vorce them Is extremely small. 1t Is
true that the married life
of the rich is spiced with differences of
opinion, but 1t is probably equally true
that the proportion of divorces Is much
larger among the poorer than among
the weather. classes, though the tu-
multi excited thereby may be nothing.
For people who reason intelligently 1t
was not necessary that Mr.. Vanderbilt
should explain the human and praise
worthy emotions of the rich or try to
demonstrate that they are controlled
by passions which govern those in less
opulent circumstances. But 1t was nat
ural enough, perhaps, that he should
feel the Injustice of the arraignment
Of all mlllionaires as enemies to mar
riage propriety and that he should
speak as representative Of the class
so arraigned.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-19

The price Of artificial diamonds is
going up very rapidly. This is proba-
bly, due to the fact that most OF the
society ladies now wear artificial dia-
monds and keep their real gems In
safety deposit vaults. What will they
do when the artificial gems become SO
valuable that 1t will not be safe to
wear them?
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-19

One Of Washingtons body servants
died at Alexandria, Va, few days
ago. 1t must have been a long and
tedious job for Washington to call the
roll Of his body servants when that was
necessary.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-19
uEzIed.

II don't know whether to be offend.
ed at Miss Smythers or mott" declared
Stax, seriously.
Whats the mattlrf" asked his
friend
About IL O'Clock last night when I
was calling on her." he continued.
''she said in the sweetest kind of wav.
Mr.. Stax, what in the world does that
funny word "skidoo" Y"-Detroit
Free Press.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-19

1t Is estimated that the apple crop
IN the United States this year will
amount to more than 100000 bar
rels- But this fact doesn't afford much
comfort to the consumer who inquiries
the price In the retail market.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-19
She Knew Them.

Miss Dubley-She was braggin' about
how successful her dinner party was.
She said 1t wound up with great
eclaw." What's "eclaw," anyway?
Miss Mugley-Why. guess that was
the dessert Didn't you never eat n
chocolate eclaw ?-Philadelphla Press
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-19

Perhaps that English professor who
referred to 1.-The Joyless American face"
had been making study of the faces
Of some Of our citizens as they are
seen In their automobiling outfits.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-19
Too Late,

"Ah, darling" sighed the romantic
youth, Il would gladly lay the world at
your feet"
But Of course you can't" replied the
practical maid, "for It's there already {,
Chicago News.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-19

Cleveland's Y. NJ. G. A. has decided
that a multi-millionaire cannot be an
honest man. Evidently the Cleveland
7. NJ. G. A. has no reason to expect
large donations from III. III. Rogers.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-19

Some judge has gravely decided that
chickens are Matched, not born. At
least one of the differences between
chickens and poets has now been made
plain.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-19

A London man played the plano AZ
hours consecutively, proving his physi-
cal endurance, his idiocy and the pa
thence Of his neighbors.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-19
Her FOrgetfuIness.

Mrs. Nexdore-Your husband seemed
to be in a very good humor this morn
ing when he left the house.
Mrs. Nagget-Did he?
Mrs. Nexdore-Yes, l couldn't help
wondering what was the cause
Mrs. Nagget-Good gracious! I
know! forgot to ask him for any
money philadelphia Ledger.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-19

A private soldier stationed at Ha-
vana Is to be court martialed for rhym-
Ing. Would that all the rhymsters
were regulars.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-19

London reports the sale Of an odon-
toglossum crispium pietanum for
$3.50. They've gone up since we
bought ours.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-19

Fathers cigar may be responsible
for Johnny's coffin nall in frequent In
stances, but many smokeless father
Is shocked by the discovery that he has
smoking son.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-19

Yale university has raised the sal
aries Of Its professors. Some of them
make almost as much now as a football
player.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-19
Mfan0mers.

She-What's In a name?
He-Not much; I've often seen wom-
en- that just hated each other drinking
out Of the same flowing cup."-DetroIt
Free Press.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-19

Sometimes the popularity of a fac
depends upon the amount Of foolish
ness there Is back of 1t.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-19

A farmer can find more uses for a
piece Of ballng wire than the average
woman finds for q hairpin-
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-19

With whalebone at $4,000 ton the
anti-corset crusader enters the fray
with renewed zest.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-19

An ing the Income" taxes that hurt
the worst Is the grocer's bill.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-19

jack apologize for kissing you.
VIII you forgive me?
Jill-Never!
Jack-Was the act so objectionable?
Jill-The kiss wasn't, but the apology
is.-Cleyeland Leader,
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-19
An Underhand Trick.

Creditor-So you want an extension
OF two weeks. What would happen IL
you were to die before the time
elapses?
Debtor-Sir, am too much of a gen
tleman to do that !"-Translate for
Tales from Fliegende Batter,
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-19

The Church Of England has an In
come Of $75,0O0.OOO a year.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-19

There are only four letters in love,
but there are thousands Of love letters
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-19

A girl Is pretty safe in marrying a
young man whose mother can't cook.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-19

player.
The Washington times., 1907-04-23

ball magnates blow in their coin, in a
game IN New York last season il cost
the New York Americans SIS outside OF
the regular expenses 10 retire one man.
Center Fielder Lord, Of the Philadelphia
Athletics, came to bat In the fifth in
ming and swiped six long fouls into the
Ieft-deld bIeacheTs and sllied six more
over the grand stand before he was re-
tired. According 10 the rules, new
ball had 20 be furnished each time, and
none Of the balls put out Of the game
By Lord were returned, that dozen
lost balls cost the local management
an even SIS. Had the bases been fun at
the time with the score tie and Lord
the third man out, the New York man
agement would have considered the put
out dirt cheap AT that price. I've seen
situations in bail games when the mag
mates would have given 500 % retire
one man.
They can spout all they want to about
the phllanthropists who have made so
much money in commercial life that
they can't give II all away, but you Il
notice they aren't giving any or II 70 their
employees. They spent it endoWlng IN
/ zIt7Ia+ions which they never used Jhell-
/ ssl,-ss when they were Kids. John y.
I Pockcreller has just given So. o1o'yJ 70
/ - .srss Of education but ne never
! learned how 10 squeeze II out OF -
/ iii generator In the spelling Class ANU
/ Caruepfa can build ali the pubilC ~
1 brarias ne wants 20. bat you can sali No
/ that he didn't learn how 10 maze 81 o-'
The Washington times., 1907-04-23

May Q. 10, and I-Annual spring
tournament tcpen TO members Of L. 5.
G. a. Clubs and others specially invited
in accordance with separate announce
meuD.
May 1S-Handicap four ball foursOme.
Medal play. added scores. Winning pair
to receive prizes.
May / to HAY 21-Qualifying play fO-
THE Presidents Cup" Handicap medal
scores. Best thirty-two net scores 10
May 22-F.rst round handicap match
play. TIE Presidents Cup"
May z3-SecOnd round, The Presi-
Nav 5l@Third round, The Presidents
May 25-semi-nnals and finals. The
Presidents Cup" Also handicap melaI
play: IS holes; 2 prizes.
June Handicap best ball mixed
foursOme. Also sweep-stake handicap
match play against par
June 2 TO June S-Handicap team
matches. The teams TO be scasOnably
arranged ard posted
June l5-Haudicap match play against
par. One prize for women and one for
men.
June 22-Team handicap match, Mar
ried VS.. Single Men.
June 29-Handicap medal play; j.
holes; 9 prizes.
Team matches and other events not
vet arranged for may interfere slight
" with this schedule, but same Will
be maintained as nearly as possible.
The Washington times., 1907-04-23

baseball player spends a few seasons
swinging around the college circuit, and
If he wins a few games by punching the
leather at opportune times. OF brings
victory by tying the opposition in knots
reaching for his mysterious curves. he
has all the big baseball mOguls clamOr-
ing for his services. When he leaves
college he can sign a dozen contracts FOR
s., 900 10 5000 for a summers pleasure,
gets his picture in all the papers. his
name is heralded from Kalamazoo to
the Everglades, and he is universally
known as Lefty or bill" The schol-
arly student puts his lamps on the blink
porting over musty books, graduates from
the knowledge factory with the highest
h1nors, and sinks into oblivion on a
salary of SIS per and a Rockefeller
stomach.
Here are a Few instances which show
the earning capacity of the modern ball
player; During the worlds championship
games in Chicago last fan Eddie Nc
Farland drew SI,S72 Tor going 10 bat
once and rolling a weak grounder down
70 third. During the same series Catcher
TOWne got over $500 a day for merely
warming up with the White Sox pitchers
before the games. Duudon, Feline, Mig
Smith, Patterson, Lungren, Taylor and
Slagle got over $1,000 each for sitting on
tho players bench and watching the
games. What sheep-skin bearing gradu-
ate of your knowledge factories can
The Washington times., 1907-04-23

point to such figures as these for amas-
sing wealth? It's easy money. son, and
all the education / want you 10 acquire
is just enough to enable you 70 sign
contract inteuigently and be skiliul in
repartee with the umpire.
YouI dad mightu't know as much
about glacial period and prehistoric
man as some Of the fossil pedagogues,
but he has trimmed his lamps on a few
things regarding the graft period and
uD-tO-date man, which perhaps these
knowledge vendors have overlooked: it's
all well enough for them 70 say that
1.-THE best place 90 empty your purse is
into your head but who wants 10 know
where 20 empty their purse, anyway?
The most Important question Is where
10 iii your purse. and you can take Il
from me that a good batting eye will
plug up the vacancy a blamed sight
quicker than an educated brain.
Now, for instance did you ever hear
Of manufacturer or any employer in
commercial life taking his employees on
an extended tour in tropical climates
every year for their health2 Not that
/ YOU can notice, ! guess. They chain
| them 10 a desk, and about all they see
/ Of the country foliage IS a sprig of pafs-
1 lev on Is cent steak at the mon hour
/ In contrast 20 this we have thu map OF
/ tropical United States splatteTed with
/ baseball PLAYERS every spring. having a
| good time at their employers expense
! AS an example Of the way these base
The Washington times., 1907-04-23

The first important golf match Of the
season will be held at the Chevy Chase
course next Saturday when an intercity
match viii be played between teams rep
resenting Washington and Philadelphia
Single matches viii be played in the
morning. and four-bau matches in TIE
afternoon.
The Philadelphia team will be made
up Of from ten 10 sixteen players, and
a like number VIII represent Washing
ton, an equal number being selected from
the Chevy Chase and Columbia clubs.
Washington Candidates.
The personnel Of the Washington team
has not vet been definitely settled, but
will probably be chosen from the fol-
lowing players: Samuel DalzeI, George
c. Lafferty. Morven. Thompson, Alex
ander Britton, DR.. w. NJ. Gray, W. 5.
Reyburn, W. r. Tuckerman, and Frank
lin Ellis, OF Chevy Chase. and DR.. Lee
L. Harlan, DR.. Walter s. Harlan, A S.
Aattingly, J. William Mckinley, 4. S.
Duvau, L. s. Fristoe, L. W Weaver,
and George Weaver. of Columbia
The Philadelphia team viii be selected
from the following players: H. B, Mac
Farland, Huntingdon valley country
Club; A. II. Smith, Huntingdon Valley
Country Club: II. w. Perrin, Phlladel-
phia Cricket Club; A. ". Tillinghast,
The Washington times., 1907-04-23
IN Which He Compares the
Future of the StudiOus
College Graduate With
That of the Ball-Play-
ing Student.

your time acquiring useless collection
of knowledge concerning the minor pro-
LESSONS of law, medicine, etc. I'd soon
er have YOU cultivate your batting eye
than your business eye, and your throw
ing arm is more important 10 your fu-
t,lre success than your writing hand.
I'd sooner see your name in the batting
order of a big league baseball team
than heading the list Of successful can
didates in a national election.
The time was when the successful
man OF affairs was the big smoke in
the community. but the world has
moved up a notch since then. Now he
looks as small as the religious column
in the Police Gazette compared with
the guy who steals home with the win
ming run in the ninth inning. You want
to keep abreast Of the times, son, and
follow the profession with a future and
not that with a past. Give the icy mitt
70 these moss-grown maXims eXpound-
ed by prehistoric professors, and lend
your ear to the baseball coach
To see the wisdom Of this advice, son,
Just pause long enough to compare the
baseball graduate of the American col
lege with his scholarly brother. The
The Washington times., 1907-04-23

commission sitting in the place Of the
Presidents Cabinet at the head OF the
nation.
There's a laundering lot Of these old
moss-coyered precepts being Aired at you
kids by pedagOgues. with faces long
enough TO lick me bottom OF a milk can.
that won't stand the test OF the times.
They try to enlist you in a righteous
cause by showing II into you that thrice
armed is he whose cause IS just" but
the wise guy Of the present day knows
that once armed IS enough, and he sails
in and puts it all over the other fellow
while he IS trying 10 disentangle himself
from his plethora Of weapons. This is
the day os the imam with the punch"
and he don't need 10 be over-parucular
whether his cause is just or not. For
merry, humanity consisted Of these two
eIements-the right and the wrong; now
adays. humanity the world over stiu
consists of but two elements, but they
are the winners and the losers. The
world has acquired the art OF tusufying
the winner and condemning the loser.
The book-taught pedagogues Of your
knowledge factory haven't got wise 10
this fact yet, but I'll gamble your bas.s-
ball coach knows 1t all right.
I'll have TO cult this letter now, son,
and I don't suppose you're sOrry. But
the reason I've dwelt so much on this
advice about wasting your college days
in study and tried so hard 70 show you
that it isn't keeping up with the
times is because there are so many
good ball players who have committed
| this error and are compelled TO spend
| their remaining days as a mere captain
of industry" a trust magnate. or a poll
tician, where they might just as well be
/ having their pictures splattered all over
| the sporting pages Of the public prints,
and have a hundred press agents sound
/ ing their praises. III write you again
| next week. From YOUR DAD.
The Washington times., 1907-04-23
NIKE SULLIYAN'S
CHANCE TONIGHT

Los ANGELES. Cal, April 3
Honey" Melody and Nike CTwin) sui
Ivan. who are scheduled for a twenty
round bout at AS pounds tonight before
the Pacific Athletic CLUB, have drawn
the biggest advance sale Of tickets IN
many months. and as both men profess
TO be in the pink Of condition, good
fight is expected.
Melody has been training at the East
Side Athletic Club under the watchrul
eve of Johnny Mooney. his manager
and Molly Mcdonald, while sullivan
has done his work at Arcadia, being
assisted and advised by his brother
Jack. Both training quarters nave Deen
yvatCbed nv the ones who make training
Quarters a speciality ana on this Melody
has been installed q hot 10 10 taVoTlte.
shan on ANYTHING since the Burns
O'Brien fight and the short-enders ore
eating up Jhe Melody end,
The Washington times., 1907-04-23
Written and Illustrated by Jim Nasium.

Written and Illustrated by Jim Nasium.
EAR SON: / hope the seeds Of
advice which drilled into your
pasture during your winter Of
discomfort out here in the
wheat belt did not fall upon barren soil.
/ realize the fact that we old guys who
have laid away a bunch Of high-prlced
experience to grab down and hand put
TO posterity are playing thankless role,
as you young bucks would sooner go
out and buy your own experience the
same as we did. Experience that doesn't
cost the consumer a couple of hundred
plunks a hunk isn't considered much Of
commodity, But if you take your old
dads tip youH buy considerable Of your
/ experience second-handed. It is a
blamed sight less expensive, and not
near so apt to put your ambition In the
hospital SO when your dad hands you
some OF the brand for which he put up,
you want to get it inside your coming
tower for future use.
OF course, you're nep to the fact that
you're enroIlediSin that knowledge fac
tory for the sole purpose Of boosting
your baseball ability, and not to waste
The Washington times., 1907-04-23
BUSINESS VS.. CENTRAL
AT NATIONAL PARK

Business and Central High Schools
are scheduled 10 meet in the first game
Of the interhigh school championship
series at National Park this afternoon
at $50 O'Clock. Business is considered
the stronger team this season.
The probable lineup will be:
business - Donnelly second base;
Hamann center field; keane. third
base: ZanneIlI, short stop; Hubbard,
left field keenan,, first base, WelNeT,
right field; Broke, catcher; Powell,
pitcher.
Central-N. Macdonald, third base:
T1lrton. shortstop; A. Macdonald, first
base. Rogers, left field, Richardson,
catcher: Taggert. center field; Smith,
second base; Thomas, right field;
Rheem. pitcher.
The Washington times., 1907-04-23

and steel from reading when Knight
hood Was In Flower"
No, son, there was a time when edu-
cation was a strong factor IN the wei
fare Of the nation: this was way back
IN the dark ages along about the time
when the canal boat was a strong factor
Ia the interstate commerce of the ma
ton. There were a lot of old moss
backs then, who sneered al the first rail-
way trains and stuck to the old canal
boat, lust as a lot Of these pterodactyle
instructors in the knowledge factories
continue 70 drill dead languages into
Youthful think-tanks and ignore the
mile posts which have been passed in
the march of progress. But the choo-
choo cars caused the canal boat 10 get
the hen fruit in its shoe and beat II
into the dim distant past, and the Kid
nowadays who wasted his time on the
slow-moving vehicle of bookiearning viii
ind himself sitting by the wayside be-
tween stations when the limited express
to fame whizzes by.
Where are the boys who went 70
Buckneli College with Christy Mathew
son and "Ducky'' Vail? The world never
hears OF them. What classmates OF
Fred Tenney, Clarence Beaumont, Frank
Chance, or Hugh Jennings have ever
made a whole country hoarse from
shouting the praises OF their name!
What lawyer. doctor, politician or
scientist has made the American public
turn hand-springs and smash each
other lids in reckless enthusiasm over
their accomplishments? What event II
the ordinary life OF a literary genius OF
captain Of industry viii block the traf-
hc in front Of the newspaper bulletins
for hours Ike the everyday doing Of a
baseball player2
There, son, you have the object lesson
Of the present day, and II there IS any
truth in the saying that coming events
casr their shadows before" we may
soon expect 70 see the national baseball