Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-11-14
BINGS HAD INSOMNIA
so HE TRIED THE PAINTING CURE
FOR A CHANGE

lRT
Don't sleep very well, replied
Bings, shortly. Been trying to cure
my insomnia"
WELL" said the head bookkeeper,
judiciously, I'm troubled that way
sometimes myself. Ever try little
hot milk just before retiring?"
There was a hostile glitter In
Bings eye YES" he said, "I've
tried 4 little hot milk. I've also tried
the llkewarm bath and the young
onions, and chewing my food. and
the rest of it. And last night tried
the painting cure"
THE painting cure?" echoed the
bookkeeper. And what is that?"
Bings went into his vest pocket and
flashed out a newspaper clipping. 1t
was from one of the numeous depart
ments that women run in the evening
thing from how to die to how to get
married, and when the head book.
keeper looked it over he found the fol.
lowing:
go to bed. Lie fat on your back,
with arms at side. Have low pillow,
a rather hard bed, with downy, light
coverings and abundance of fresh air.
Relax entire body and make vacuum
of your mind. Do not hold yourself
on the bed, but let the bed hold you.
Now you are ready to begin. Imi-
tate the painting of tired dog. but
pant through the nose instead Of
through the mouth. (Now you are
laughing, of course. That's the idea!
This is a laugh cure partlyD Pant
away until you are all tired out. You
will then be impelled to take several
long, deep breaths and possibly to
yawn. (This is where the deep breath
ing comes in.) You will notice this
vigorous painting shakes the entire
trunk, as does laughing. Repeat the
alternate painting and deep breathing
till you fall asleep naturally"
Very interesting" commented the
head bookkeeper; "and how did you
come out?"
II came out by staying awake near
ly all night" growled Bings. 81 did
everything 1t says, and even went up
to the spare room to try 1t on.
told my wife l was going to sleep In
the spare room, but didn't tell her
that / was going to try the cure. Well,
! got laid downfall, as It says-and
the first thing / tried to do was to
make vacuum of my mind Ever
try to make vacuum of your mind?
Well, 1t dosn't work. Little things that
had't worried me in years, came up
and there l lay, fiat, with arms at my
side, on a low pillow and all the
rest of 1t trying to get some sleep.
At that stage l began the painting
painting like dog, according to the
recipe, l painted and panted-but 1t
didn't make me laugh.
I'm fact, 1t got me to thinking what
an all-'round darn fool / must look
like lying there with my tongue hang.
ing out. But l kept 1t up. Pretty
soon ] heard my wife coming upstairs.
For goodness sake, John said
she, what's the matter with your"
"She turned on the gas"
Nothing said. 'Why?'
you're making the most peculiar
nolses-I heard you way downstairs.
Did you have nightmare
Ion the contrary said /, Haven't
been asleep
John she said. 7 know there's
something the matter. Hannah heard
you, too. If you're Ill don't try to
conceal it.
II saw there was no use. o, only
kink in my side l explained I
should have known better than to say
it. You see my wife thinks I'm a
martyr who suffers in silence
az hope it isn't your old trouble
she said, coming to the bed and
prodding me In the groin. Hannah,
go get the hot water bottle
II expostulated, but it didn't 60.
Hannah got the hot water bottle, and,
what is more, my wife placed it right
over the pit of my stomach, and al
most before ] knew 1t had me swathed
In hot clothes. She has an idea that
warmth will drive away any disease,
and although l protested that there
wasn't anything serious the mat
ter with me she worked over me for
an hour.
at was then about one o'clock In
the morning. Having finally convinced
her that the slight pain had passed
she left me. OF course there wasn't
any use trying to pant after this
experience, but l lay there and
heard the clock strike two and three
and still no sleep, and l determined
TO give the cure another chance. I
started to pant, but lightly so as not
to attract attention. Soon l became
interested in it. Once, think, really
did fall asleep, but suddenly l started
up and discovered that was painting
heartily like dog that wants drink
of water.
My wife was up there In minute.
This time she was in tears. john she
walled, it's horrid of you to lay here
and suffer and try to make me think
there is nothing the matter with YOU
Why don't you tell the truth, dear?
know you're in pain. I'm going
right down and telephone DR.. Wat
son.
AT this l sat up. Mary / said.
I'm not in pain. I'm simply painting
for insomnia And then, In order to
keep the doctor away, I told her
about it. But II wasn't me that
lapghed-it was my wife. And the
funny thing about 1t was that as soon
as told her the truth promptly fell
asleep, But didn't feel much like
getting up this morning"
In the Alpine Region.
The heavy snowfall and storms in
the Alpine region last winter and late
In the spring forcibly illustrate the