Gloucester County Democrat., 1907-07-25
UNCLE DICKV SEES THE ELKS.

Me an th old woman made up our
MINIS t see tn big p'rade, an we tux our
grub coz frum wut til papers sed We wuz
afeard ther' wonldn't be nuthin' deat in
tn hull town.
We tux tn second train thet gifts T.
Phi 'delphy at little afore ten, but all th'
nice lot NV new clocks sed "leben clock
ven we got there, an wen we come home
they still at tn same hour, SO guess they
wuzn't runnin'.
We run aroun fer good cool place &
see th, p'rade an found nice spot jest in
side TIL south end ny tn public buildin's,
bnt afore long til ole womon showed out
t'wards th' street an fust thing knew tn
crowd begun scrougin' an she got me t
stan down on the step blow her vile she
stiddied herself on my shoulders an hill
til crowd back an made EN- go loun' as.
Then anuther woman, bigger IN Becky,
up an asts her.
is this your husband ~
"Yas, Z sez Becky, an then darned il
they didn't both stiddy themsels on me
an a-standin' right out in the hot sun an
ambulanoes runnin ey'ry five minits with
folks overcome with th heat
1t jest seemed $ me thet was all Nv
lather, like boss, an ther elbows he'd
made holes in my shoulders, an wen tn
crowd quit a-pushin l jess went of an got
a drink of lemonade, an bought Becky a
big pa'm-leaf fan an tumb!er ny ice
water.
Then we went aroun' an found a better
place Il see TIL p'rade on th' west side Nv
th' big buildin's, but it wuz as hot as
Beck's kitchen on bakin' day in July.
She wuz afeard I'd git sunstruck, an | wuz
afeard she would, an SO Wen she gin me
her new fan jist set t. fannin' her t'well
she hoilered stop, Dicky, yer a-blown' til
hair off my head. y
While | wuz a-fannin' her, young
smarty a-sellin' advertisement fans about
ez big ez her hand fer fYe cents apiece came
erlong an sez,
Here's til most sensible man pve seen
t day, he's a-fannin' th' ole woman fol
fear he'll lose her an can't git anuther
Then | sez, 'young feller, eff v had fans
like this one & sell, ye'd be a-doin some
bizuess, an y ought heard th' crowd
Iaf.
Party soon tn ole gal got tired standin
on her tippytoes tryin' t. see sumpin', an
we made break for Gimlets drag woods
store, but tn perlioe had us roped in SO
thet we went all eroan' an couldn't find
way out, but al last we jest tux our stand
in cool airy place on th east side ny tn
buildin' an watched fer chance t. git
out
Somebody hill th rope up an some
Dagoes slid under an Becky follered vile
waited t. see ef tn cops I'D grab her, but
they didn't, an l iined her in Market
street, feelin' ez much relieved ez I did
wen got out from under her an thet
other woman's elbows.
We ct some ice-cream in Gimlets rest'rent
an sed let's go see th' movin' pixture
show, but she up an sez, "no, let's take
trolley ride an she jumped on to til front
seat nv th' fust one thet come erlong, but /
got inside.
The trolley hedntrun ten minmtes afore
it begun t rain, an afore long it poured
down an thundered an lightened an
blowed twell she he'd t. git back in the Seer
wetter n mus rat.
We jest he'd t. stay on that keer twell
she went eroun erbout twenty mile, an
come back down t. Forth an Walnut ST.
where we got of am hiked through th rain
fer tn ferry.
Wen we got home, I sez,
"Ole gal. you an thet woman bored
holes in my shoulder, b'lieYe, WON'T you
rub some balsam apple IinnYment on emp"
Then, kinder laffin' she sez,
"Dicky eff there's holes in yer shoulders,
wouldn't it be good time t. set out pair
nv wings in 'em, beins its sich nice rainy
weather?n UNCLE DIcKY.