The Washington herald., 1907-06-23
Our summer ioys We cannot praise
Save family. j. would seem,
On hottest days we fnd naUght but
Cold comfort in ice-CTeam.

really don't know whether to be |
''hoped up" about men this season, or |
married. 1 don't know whether they're |
becoming eTeminate. or merely more
sane. Frankly. men have always been
puzzles to me. I've recognized in a dim |
sort OF a way that they're human; but
.bow can one have any sort Of an under
standing of beings who admire derby
hats How can one imagine what the
world looks like to a creature who thinks
that a shiny black silk hat adds to his
beauty? I've always imagined that the
real reason at the basis of the custom
of a mans taking his hat of when ne
meets a woman is a sort Of sUbConscious
realization on his part that he doesn't
look quite human 20 a woman with his
hat on. It is an attempt on his part 10
nut away something which she can
neither understand nor admire, a some
thing which, IN fact has for ages kept
men and women from understanding each
other. Until this season a mans straw
hat has been as strange thing TO women
rs his winter hat coverings. II was stiff
and heavy. the merest mockery OF
straw hat; worn not because 1t was
cool and comfortable, but. like all the
rest of mans dress, because other men
and 1Ir Grundy wore it.
But. look you: this season, men are
wearing things that women recognize as
hats at first glance 7 know ten men who
20 about in leghorn hats. In other years,
half a century Of them az least, only
women have worn leghorns. There Is
something profoundly significant in the
fact that men have branched out in tins
way. Il may be the morning Of new
era. Of which the masculine shirt waist
heralded the dawn. Colored ribbons APP
pear on many Of these leghorn hats, and
a man may wear his crown creased or
dented. and his brim turned up at any
angle he chooses. He is no longer bound
% look precisely ike every other man
fin his hat BY another year he may even
be pinning a bunch Of flowers TO it. What
humanity has always lacked is real
band Of sympathy between the sexes.
common interest, a mutual understand
ing Il is a lack which the leghorn sup
plies. Hats are one subject on which men
and women can hereafter think alike,
and once they meet on common ground,
who can tell what the outcome win
be? The leghoru hat is the most I'M
pOrtant thing that has happened since I
can remember. No man can be a puzzle
20 a woman when he wears a leghorn
hat.
There is, by the way, one less hat in
town than there was a fortnight ago, and
the departed hat was leghorn. II be
longed TO "a woman who lives on the
second floor Of n tall apartment house;
and while she knows what became Of her
belongings, she doesn't guess who is re-
sponsible for its loss.
Il did it," says the woman who lives
on the fifth floor. "and If she weren'
a friend of mine I'd have moral courage
' enough TO tell her. As it IS, 1 don't dare.
You can't tell what she'd do. Last time
I saw her 1 was going out the front
door with a big travelling bag in my hand.
! told her 7 was going over to Baltimore,
and so I was was going to get an
old clock from an aunt Of mine over
there. and I was going 70 bring it home
iu my big bag. On the way TO the
station I changed my mind and decided
7 didn't want The clock after all. so
] went TO market. I bought some plants
IN pots and put them I'm my bag, thinking
I'd fix up q lovely vindow-boX for my
self When 1 got home I set the plants
in q row on .he window ledge 10 see how
they'd look. and before I had time 70
get the effect one geranium fell off.
peeked ont. and my goodness, that
woman on the second floor had put q
hat on her window ledge to bleach, and
IL and my gerauium were mixed up III
the back yard, both of them wrecks.
terked the rest Of the pots out, and theT
I went and listened down the dumt
waiter. Whenever anything happens il
an apartment house that's the thing Z
do. You can hear people telling the jani
tor about it. I heard the second fooI
woman say:
q" I wish you'd 90 up and tell those peo
pie above me 10 stop throwing iOWe
pots on my hats
What peOple% asked the ianitor.
% I don't know she snorted. It's some
body who has fiowers-the same one
that dropped a rubber plant on my aqua
rum last week. You've got TO fin
out who they are and make them pa.
for my hat. I won't stand it
L can picture the jaaitor getting read
to search the house. and I didn't answe
when my dumb waiter whistle blew.
heard everybody on that shaft deny own
ing flower pots
You can come up and search N
fat if you don't believe it. the to
floor woman called down.
Then 1 chimed in
You can search my fat. too and
jammed the Eeraniums into my has AM
hid il under my bed. After dark I wen
Gut and dumped those flowers into
vacant lot. The second floor woman sal
she'd have the guilty person arrested
and I know she would if she could; she
SO vindictive. I went down a night o
two afterward and stuck an envelop
with money in il under her door That
pay for the hat but it Won't pay 70
my feelings. I've got to go around know
ing I'm a criminal till l die
There's A small boy in a street in tn
edge Of town who has been a s0urC
Of much annoyance 10 motorists. n
sensible chauffeur wants to run over
boy in a frequented street, and that DO
knows 1t. Batting automobiles has bee
his pastime. He stands in the middl
Of the roadway and does not heed tn
warning horn.' You've got to turn on
suddenly TO avoid that boy, and then yo
hear his yell Of derision. The onl
reason why ne hasn't been killed Ion
ago is that people seldom have the
wishes granted. He has been cursed an
glared at, but he only boots and gOe
on being a nuisance. Last Tuesday i
danced madly in front of a runa boz
driven by a not very expert woman
She turned out so suddenly that he
machine went wabbling for n sickenir
second. and the boy laughed. It was to
much for the woman. She sprang OF
Of the runab0ut and grabbed the lit