Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-12-27


Climb onto the water dray.
We've cartload of settler waiting,
We've cases of ginger ale
And lemon sour,
OF wondrous power,
And pop in an ice-flled pail.
All aboard for the water wagon
Climb onto the seats so high;
Avoid the rush.
! And the midnight crush
When the old year says "Good-bye!'
Get up on the water wagon,
Get up on the yichy dray;
Take an early start
For the water-cart
And travel the rumless way.
Detroit Free Press.
Legal Tender.
The Willamette Heights citizen handed
the conductor of the car a So clearing
house certificate.
What's that:' asked the man behind,
the bell cord
That's clearing house certificate, the
new kind of Portland money" said the
w II. citizen.
is it good?' asked the lord of the
punch.
Sure. it's good. Paper money goes
.All right, old man. and the conductor
worth of MISUNDERSTANDING Oregonian.
49,
It's Chief Use.
These" said the inventor proudly.
are photographs of the finest aeroplane
the world has yet seen
We studied the remarkable looking OBJ
ject.
And how is it supposed to work?" we
asked.
oh" he rejoined, .'it isn't supposed to
work at all; but YOU can see what SPLEEN
did newspaper and magazine articles it
will make"
On the Boulevard
Allow me TO introduce the man who
has written more absolute nonsense than
anyone else in Paris
Monsieur is a journalist q
NO. madam: stenographer to athe
Chamber of Transatlantic
| Tales
She Told Him.
about the greatest man who eyer
| lived in this community was Dug Skin
ner; broad-minded. big-hearted. and bril-
liant andsyet he died with all his talents
and goodness unsuspected.'
How did you come to find out about
Il married his widow Houston
Post.
49,
A Dentists Child.
DIR. Frank c. Bostwick. official dentist
to the Sultan of Morocco. has been spend
| ing his vacation in Plainfield. ~ j., and
at a recent dinner. he said, apropos Of
bad child:
1T is wise to punish children, but not
| corporally."
4 know dentist in Gibraltar who
| got out birch rod to punish his little
| son with one day.
THE boy, looking at the rod, said,
/ piteously:
!" Papa. would you mind giving me
gas first? Philadelphia Bulletin.
Half and Half.
This piece of pumpkin pie" he
growled, sis only half done, Maria.
His wife smiled sourly,
Then only eat half of it, love-" she
said.
| 49,
A Just Rebuke.
Cook-Heavens the Missus is coming,
| Quick. into the linen closet,
| Polieeman-What, not into the pam
try? Nina, is that true love?-Trans-
atlantic Tales.
Athletic Algebra.
Problem, To prove that Yale-0
/ pROOE:-let Allen (l1
! Then YALE=X-HY i2l
| Now ok (ALES) 81
2N+2Y=2 GALES a.
Then adding 4X+2Y-2 tALEs)+a 81
Now : 5ALEs)=2 Blue Ribbons, ~Pabst 4
And : SYALEs)=2 blue Ribbons, ~
Then. since Blue Ribbon=Blue Ribbon Isl
4X+2Y=4 Blue Ribbon (@
Now. since 4X-4 (ALESl aoi
4 (AI.ESl--4 (Riup RibhOnSl
in equation (9) 2Y=4 Blue Ribbons
'''' $500 2Y-o
20
Therefore since always means Yale
and 70. then Yale 10
Quite Easily Dfonel
Harvard Lampoon.
-..--
Likely.
She paused in her Christmas shopping
and took ont her purse.
tPoor fellow she said. Here is
quarter for you. Go in there and get.
n turkey dinner and a piece of pump
kin pie. But tell me, how did you come
to lose your eyer"
The pitiable wreck before her shook
his head sadly.
piled.
Theatrical Mary.
Mistress Mary.
She was Fairy,
Danced in the very front row,
| hate 10 speak,
But on ten per week
How did her diamonds grow?
Town Topics
Contrary TO the Last.
Henri Heine's wife was a woman of
extreme beauty. bur of low descent aud
no education and frequently irritated
the poet to evaporation by violent
scenes He was challenged one day 10 a
dnel and on the evening before wrote