Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1907-01-14

Tin Horn that
Willard
Blow
(Now ne sorrowfully sounds
The Sad Bazoo.)
once a useful Instrument,
Badly now Ills cracked and bent
Melancholy Willard weeps-
Boo-hool
Another last veteran" Of Waterloo
is reported dead.
Mark Twain has returned from Ber-
muda and America IS agrin again.
81.
Let's see-wasn't II Mr.. Roosevelt
who recommended the Simple Life?
American opera has been defined
as three parts lack Of clothes mi n
part music.
The tables have been turned. New
York reports a head walter who was
robbed of $3.50,
The ear shortage Will be relieved
Just about the time the Common Gee
ger Is paying his ice bill.
That snlckering noise Is only Jim
49, '%Nr f'ffn - AN
Hartman is on the carpet.
Judging from the prolonged silence
Of ten days or so Chancellor Days DE-
gcstion must be in better shape.
49,
The King Of Siam has a bodyguard
Of 400 female warriors. 1t is pre-
snmed they are armed with hat pins.
s#s
n..an,a, Il gttIt aunfcrinr fron,
~subpoenaltis. The Phoenix Rcpubii-
can recommends Or. Hadley or Mis-
souri,.
The deadly cream pun has claimed
nifty victims IN Buffalo. IL you must
indulge, better have a food specialist
along.
AS long as Mr., Corey's dividend re-
ports are satisfactory. the steel men
show a lack of interest In his love
letters,
A girl arrested for theft in Kansas
City says she was under a spell. From
the effects. It must have been a sim
plifed spell.
Kansas City is still building that
union depot-on paper, Preparations
for the erection OF this majestic struc-
ture have been going ON for Sixty
years.
Mr.. Fairbanks chief ambition. 1t is
said. Is to discover The north pole. If
there were an open polar sea It would
undoubtedly CONCEAL when Charles
appeared,
A photograph company advertises
that Il has a record of a speech by
President Roosevelt. The tensile
strength of that machine must be
wonderful.
A Phoenix paper tells OF a painter
who was seized with a mt" while on
top OF a high scaffold aud fell TO the
ground. 1t Is barely possible he had
been painting the town red the night
with Las Vegas and East Las Vegas
looking daggers, aud East El Paso
protesting against being annexed TO
El Paso. Albuquerque should congrat-
ulatc herself on the peace which
reigns hereabout,
An Arizona young woman when
asked what sort OF a New Years reso-
luton she had made replied: Il am
going to cut out slang. I've reached q
point when | can't stand for 1t, and
it's up to me to forget it.
Two Americans died IN n 81. Peters,
burg government hospital whore they
were wrapped In smallpox-infected
Between the bombs and the
hospitals, on the whole Americans
VIII find things more healthful in
America a present.
go
The Roswell Rec-rG warns the
townspeople to keep away from the
doors to the hose house SO as not to
get M down by the horses. This in
dicates that they have fires so fire.
qucntiy that the doors are not Slut
long enough to allow the pedestrians
20 pass.
In the last twelve months the fol-
lowing Russians have been assassin
ated. Prince N~akachidze. General
Czcnolucki General Won Liarllarski.
General Gakovlom, General Golotch-
kopoff. General Polkawnikoff, Vice
Admiral kusmich, General kozloir,
County Alexis Ignatien. General Won
der Launltz and General Pavioff. Their
names will be handed down TO poster
ity. You couldn't blow IN those names
with All the bombs in Moscovy.
.
The Rev. II, NJ. Warren is now
conducting religious services hy wire
FOR the benefit Of the offices In Wall
street, the irst sermon being fol-
lowed. II is said, by Il sharp decline in
Mammon preferred and a depression
I'M Golden Calf shares. The market
recovered quickly. however. Mr.. War
rens ultimate purpose, It Is said, Is
TO make the bulls, bears. and lambs
lie down together. He win hold an
open-air service IN front of the stock
exchange next sunday, az which Dea-
con Hartman. Elder Gates and
Brother Morgan viii lead In prayer,
while Brother Rogers and Brother
ha.lHF.fI.u ..Df Noes tl,. Nsf