The morning journal-courier., 1907-12-27


 gentleman-o who resideth in one locality the shorter as the police get the wiser.
 Let me demonstrate. Here is a little fellow (seizing a mild-eyed little Italian boy, who had previously been persuaded by few rosy promises, destined never to be fulfilled, to al- low himself to be a willing victim), a | little fellow who has wart on his finger as big as his head (Holding up a miniature second finger to view, where, for the accumulation of dirt, the wart could be distinguished but with dif1culty)
 The gentleman-hawker turned around to his little group of sidewalk disci- pies who radiated about him, with open mouths, like so many satellites, as he held the little brown hand as high as the little thin arm could be stretched. The man had been trans | fixed in the eyes of his hearers and his voice in the ears of his spectators, or vice versa, as you please. He be- came not the sidewalk fakir but the great hospital surgeon on the verge of a wonderful operation. His tone mel lowed simultaneously as did the whis- key within him and his line of talk" came the easier as he realized that he was destined to succeed, to ring a few dimes out of a wart- wrecked human Iity, and enjoy an equal number of smiles" at a nearby saloon.
 That wart doesn't hurt the boy at Iall," squeezing the finger till the little fellow writhed with the pain of it and hot tears started in his eyes, "only he doesn't like to have the girls see it when he goes out to parties You know they all Insist on touching it and say ing that will bring them good luck" That cheered the boy so that a faint Iglimmer of a smile shot over his face.- But it was all with purpose, to pre- pare him with fortitude to endure the worse things yet to come.
 Now, gentlemen. I will not delay you any longer. I will take little of this wonderful specific. If you want any guarantee as to it's author-t ticity, look at this label (It was printed in the true green of the Emerald Isle.) There is the guarantee of the United States government (since when has it been in the drug business, stranger ?; there are the trademarks of the nak- CTS, a shamrock and horseshoe; Cwhat more appropriately and way down at the bottom. best of all, is the union label Onward cheers on the part of the audience and imaginative shouts of "Hurray for the unions; they count for more than the governments union any day.")
 lie spat on his finger and with 1t rubbed about -thousandth of one per cent of the dirt off the finger of the boy. Now watch me, gentlemen. l anoint the boys wart with the oil am selling You put 1t on your fore head the same way when you have a headache and on your throat when you have cat-tah-r-r, And now look at the wart. It is getting clear and trans parant Any docter will tell you that means 1t is getting weller. (This with a swell of the chest to denote the mag nun opus was about to come) That little feller might go home and to bed tonight just as he is. But in the nor hing, believe me, friends, that wart would have come of, just dropped off his finger; he'd find it on the bed along side of him. But, for fear some of youse people will not believe me, I am going to demonstrate the in-cal-cul- able value of this here oil. I'll juss take off that wart myselfp
 The stranger with the wild eyes and the red nose, bent double, The finger of the boy was hidden somewhere in the middle of that gigantic frame of rum soaked avoirdupois The boy gave a sudden start, an involuntary cry and sputter of an Italian oath he had learned from his father, just as the man-from- nowhere strengthened up again, his face scarlet with his exer- tions, his breath coming and going, like the fidgetting legs of the small boy, in short pants.
 But see, wonder of wonders, the wart is gone! It, or what looks like it, is resting on the upheld hand of the triumphant fakir!
 There remains but one thing more to do, gentlemen" he continued, "but to put little of this new-skin on the wow-nd," producing another myster- ious-looking bottle. This may smart you little ter furst, sonny, but it only contains shilac, varnish and alcohol in it and it's the alcohol that you're not used to, if it does smart" With that he brought out a big wad of cotton batting, as big as his fist, and held it with one hand so he could tear a piece of it out with his teeth, the while holding with his other hand the rough ly-used finger of the suffering boy. The cotton, already pot-blaeK. was soaked with the preparation and crudely tied over the sore spot on the poor little fellows finger
 And you will find 1t just as success full AS a cake Nfavorlng," came the re- assuring remark of the stranger as his audience. the operation over. and successful, began to move away from him.
 He sold few bottles of the most -specitic-on-earth and was just preparing to raise another crowd of our townsmen to a fervour of en- thusiasm with a new wart- Infested small boys finger when a policeman, with the strong arm of the law, came along and insisted that there be no more demonstrations. He said there was great danger of blood poisoning with operations made with saliva as germicide and so wet blanket was thrown over the towns pride. New