The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-06-28
DIR EFT " OOD
BY PHIL N. ARMSTRONG.

An Atlanta girl eloped with a China man the other day, which will no doubt settle the little trouble in the East.
 -s +
 We do not need a non-refillable bot tie in this country so much as we do a non-removable Sunday lid.
 % +
 The only color line bothering the Alabama darkev just now is the tall rail fence separating him from the lus- eious watermelon.
 The query used to be "why is a crow?" Now it's What Is a DemocratT" either query presenting difficulties pe- culiarly its own.
 Colonel watterson says his dark horse has been ridden enough by the newspapers and judging by the way uty one would think a free trip to Jamestown was being offered for the correct answer. If Atlanta should suddenly drop out of Georgia, the whole State you'd pre- sent nothing but a barren Waste-ac- cording to Atlanta
 O. Course. Things are seldom what tf ey seem," (A very truthful spieD For many girl wears an euto veil Who hasn't ar automobile.
 +
 Historical OversiR.hts. Aesop was dying.
 "Is there anything we can do for you?" he was asked.
 Nothing, believe" he replied faint ly, his eyes roaming from one face to another, unless" here his voice grew almost inaudible, unless you afiix some extra pages to my last edition of Fables: Respectfully Submitted. with profuse apologies to and subject to criticism by Naturalist Roosevelt, for fear that shall be called Nature Faker."
 Hard One. T wonder if Mrs Joness baby over there Is boy or girl" said the man. Judging by the way 1t goes after that bottle"
 A woman up in Kansas threw her jaw out of place the other day arguing with her husband over the purchase of a new hat. The doctors bill cost twice as much as the hat would have done The moral is easily guessed.
 + %-
 Practice.
 Practice makes perfect In everything But the case of a cat.
 Who thinks she can sing. The FeueF "Bat ups 1n DOCS. I know 1t sounds nice to hear folks talk Of tn things they air goin' ter do, Of tn bright shinin' dollars they're go-
 in to maik,
 Of tn schemes they will soon put
 through. haint got faith in tn man what talks In his swing in the shade becus notice tn feller that really succeeds Is tn feller what ups an does. Oh, it's easy ter dream on the cool
 front porch,
 While others work out in the sun, But them dreams what ye dream in the Seldom show sOmethin' done. With good intentions you know what's
 Qaved-
 So don't set around an buzz It aint tn feller what sets an talks, It's tn feller what ups an does.
 + +
 It's one of the weaknesses of 6 wo- and call 1t a yachting party to her friends afterward:
 So Have We. '"The manufacturers have made some wonderful strides in the way of auto mobiles"
 T don't know so much about the manufacturers. but I can say I have made some wonderful strides in the way of them"
 +
 Some girls imagine all you have to do Is stand in with the soda water clerk in order to get a beautiful com plexion cosmetic at the drug store. Fame is not reached at a single bound but heaven pretty near is when a mouse switches around in sight of n woman with open-wOrk stockings.
 +
 SQueIehed. There was a man in our town
 And he was wonderous wise, Till Teddy Roosevelt called him forty Thousand kinds of lies.