davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Coeur d'Alene press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1906-1907, 1907-11-05

In a police court two lawyers be-
came very much excited over a legal
argument Matters went to such a
pitch that they finally began to call
each other names.
You're an ASST said one 10 the
other.
you're a llarr' was the quick 10
tort
Then the judge said:
Now that the counsel have ident1-
oed each other. kindly proceed to tAs
disputed points"
The Coeur d'Alene press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1906-1907, 1907-11-05

You say she has her voice under
perfect cOntrolY'
''Qulte"
Then why doesn't she choke II OF
Uometimes T'-Washlngton herald.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-03
SUNDAY. FEBRUARY 3. 1861
Naval Personnel LEGISLATION.

Senator Hale is not expected to report
from his own committee. that of Naval
Affairs. his own resolution, that requiring
The Secretary Of the Navy 10 investigate
into the extent and character of the al
legged attempt on the part of naval Off
GERS TO influence legislation relating to
the naval personnel Mr. Hale has ac-
complished the purpose he desired. in Civ
ing notice TO his associates in Congress
that they were being victimized by a Sc
ries Of letters systematically sent to SEN
ators and Representatives from promi-
nent people at home who could ordinarily
have no possible interest in whether the
United States navy had three vice admit
rails or enjoyed the luxury Of promotion
by elimination or maintained the extrava-
gancs of a reserve list
The fact that these letters were all orig
mated with a campaign committee which
has been working assiduously should be
known 10 Senator's and Representatives.
and Mr. Hale succeeded in getting the in
cidclt placed in the Congressional Rec
ord although the debate which attended
the presentation Of the Hale resolution
was diverted into lines which were so i'm
material as 10 introduce the ineffaceable
Brownsville incident
There is nothing to be said against ma
val officers seeking legislation which shall
be Of benefit TO themselves. but II it is 20
he allowed in one case. the authority
should be impartial 1t is unfair, for in
stance, to allow one set of naval officers
who favor the pending bill to DO their ut
most in having it favorably acted upon
and to prohibit another set OF officers who
do not believe in the bill, and who would
be injured by it, from doing their utmost
10 defeat It, OF course. such a letting
down OF the bars would result in an un-
dignified scramble but it would be no
worse than has been going on in Wash
inston in favor of the bill.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-03
LEGION OF THE INDICTED.
An Order of Merit That Seems to
Have It's Advantages.

From the New York Erening Post
We have in the forming an American
Legion OF HOnor-the Legion OF the In
dicted- Not to belong TO it is 10 argue
ones self a miserable failure. As pure
~ native order Of merit, il has in the
first place, the advantage of being per
fectly constitutional. II may be bestowed
upon any officer Of the government. and
no act OF Congress will be required TO
allow him 70 accept and wear il. Yet
secondly, its distinction will be so great
that it will be scrambled for as eagerly
as any title from any king. prince. or
foreign State Indeed. the next time
Prince Henry, or any other potentate
from abroad. visits the United States.
there will be assembled to greet him, not
lot of captains Of industry. but our
First Indicted Citizens.
There will doubtless be. by then. some
outward sign to be worn on the lapel. 10
signify the inward grace of indictment
say, a miniature OF that legal docu-
ment itself. with the signature Of the
district attorney as a guarantee Of
genuineness. One can imagine the en-
vious looks with which a mere honest
man, admitted to their society, would re-
gard the insignia OF the great and exclu-
sive indicted about him. Il Is plain, in a
word. that the time IS upon US when a
searcheT after the truly distinguished IN
America will not apply himself to any
obsolete who's Who" but will go at
once to the true bills of the grand jury.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-03

An old theological controversy has been
recalled by the recent death Of DR.. James
Woodrow, sometime professor Of natural
science in Columbia Is. c. Theological
Seminary. and president Of South Carolina
College. For many years Dr. Woodrow
held the aforementioned chair. which had
been established by the Presbyterian
synods controlling the seminary in order
TO ''evince the harmony of science with
the records Of our faith. and 10 refute
the objections OF infidel naturaists. DR..
Woodrow. being an independent thinker
and investigator. accepted the doctrine Of
evolution as the correct explanation OF
the facts of natural science. and taught
his classes that there was no antagonism
between that doctrine and the teachings
Of the Bible properly interpreted He
maintained the view that the Bible
neither denies nor affirzass the evolution
theory; hence it is not the province Of
the church 10 affirm or deny. The whole
question OF evolution, he believed was
extra Biblical, and the Christian. there
fore, was free to accept the evolution
hypothesis If 1t commended Itself to his
10 private judgment. for il is not the
business Of the church to teach science.
These opinions, moderate as they may
seem at this day. met with the disap-
prevail of many members of the synods
controlling the seminary, and DR.. Wood
row was asked for a definition of his
faith. He made an impressive reply, and
the board Of directors passed resolutions
declaring the theory OF evolution as ac-
cepted by Dr. Woodrow not contradictory
10 the Bible This did not end the mat
ter, for DR.. Woodward was later removed
from his chair by the controlling synods
and was tried for hercsy. but acquitted.
He retained his orthodox standing in the
Presbyterian Church. and was honored
with important posts in presbytery and
general assembly. The church was thus
placed in the attitude Of condoning Dr.
Woodrow's opinions, though regarding
them as improper when uttered from the
PROFESSIONAL chair.
One Of Or. Woodrow's eulogists. long
his colleague in the seminary. remarks
that doubtless a vast majority OF the
members Of the Southern Presbyterian
Church would to-day agree with DR..
WoodrOws main contention, that the
Bible is silent on evolution. NO other
church, he adds, will ever need TO fight
that battle Times change, and we
change with them. The theological con
troversies Of the present are not over
scientific theory. but over the very funda-
mentals Of Christian theology, as the
Crapsey trial witnessed. DIT. Woodrow
was an orthodox of the orthodox by the
side OF many pTesent-day occupants Of
chairs in the great Protestant theological
seminaries. That South Carolina con-
troversy Of the eighties was a mere Skin
msh in comparison with the campaign
OF higher criticism and the new theology
in these unregenerate times.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-03

Notwithstanding that this story has
been frequently commented on 97d an
alyzed. and at least in one instance very
cleverk, yet ] think there are some les
sons 70 be derived from it which have
been omitted by those who have gone be-
fore me in comment.
Had the few lines quoted told the whole
story we would have deplored the disap-
pointment of Old Mother Hubbard and
sympathized with her hungry dog. We
might have contemplated him going away
from his would-be benefactor and seeking
food in the highways. and perhaps be
coming the victim Of some one who Stayed
him for a mad dog or worthless cur.
Fortunately. however, the good old
Mother Hubbard, according 10 our histo-
rian (Mother Goose. was not content to
let the dog go hungry. The veracioUs
historian tells as that, on being disap-
pointed In not finding a D0ne in the cup
board. she went TO a bakers to buy him
some bread, and on her return was
shocked 20 think he was dead. She then
went 10 the undertaker's TO buy a coffin
Ia which to bury him. and was greatly
astonished on her return TO find him
laughing, Hurrying out again, she
brought him on a clean dish mess of
tripe, but found him in a most self-satis-
fed manner smoking a pipe. Thereupon
she brought him some fruit. and was sur
prised TO find him comfortably seated on
his launches playing flute. She then
brought him some bread, but found him
in the ridiculous position OF standing on
f44 4.
thing FOR him. she bought and offered
MIN coat, but found him merrily riding
a goat: and on Offering him a hat, he
amused himself by playing with the cat.
Subsequently. she found him reading the
news winding a clock. spinning on a
wheel and dancing a jig. The dame feel
ing that she had done all she could for
him, made him a curtsy, and said. your
servant, and the dog answered in COM
mon language "Bow-wow."
This IS "A resume OF the whole story as
given Us by the historian.
There are several important lessons to
be learned from this story The kindness
OF Mother Hubbard teaches our duty 20
the inferior animals. of which We have
spoken at length elsewhere. Her persist
ence and extraordinary efforts remind US
that attention 20 animals sometimes goes
wv Afhi iti Aitat oiiF WtlfltA MN sever AZ
things not needed for a dog and suited
only 10 mankind. DO we not see some
dogs and cats pampered and caressed IN
a manner which is shocking TO all ideas
Of propriety? These things make the
judicious grleve" and hold a contemptu-
Gus opinion Of the doors og such things.
Animals should be treated kindly and
humanely; but 20 bestOw upon them ar
fections and attentions which they do not
need, cannot appreciate. and which are
totally unsuited TO them, Is idle, foolish
and TO be reprehended.
May the story not also teach a lesson
Of OVERRIDING intended kindness2 Evil
IDENTIFY the dog was not hungry for he not
only declined proper and good food Of
fered him. but cut such fantastic tricks
as showed he was anything but miser-
able. He may have been the only other
inmate Of the house with the good dame,
and she was no doubt attached 10 him;
and though she overdid her kindness. yet
we must conclude that she was a kind
and benevolent woman.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-03
A coauettish Miss.

In our opinion, Spring is making herself
rather ridiculous. The way she fiirted and
coquetted with white-haired old January
would be scandalous were she not Spring
Being Spring, however. young. sweet. and
unsOphisticated Spring. her forwardness Is
not set down as wiilful indiscretion. but
as the naughty act of a thoughtless,
happy girl
What Spring needs is a chaperon. Not
one of these awesome creatures, conspic-
uous from powdered pompadour and i'm
preSsive embonpoint, but a gentle and
kind-hearted chaperon, who would let
Spring hirt a little now and then, but
not TO such an undue extent as she WAS
last week won't 20 fiirt with poor old
January. Spring is not irrepressibIe, but
she is full Of life and laughter, and she
needs a safe and sure hand to guide her
just as she should go-no more no less.
Other Springs have been slandered. In
the past, gossips and busybodies have
told tales Of Winter lingering in the lap
OF Spring Perhaps Winter did: he was
doubtless an old friend of the family, or,
perhaps. a distant cousin. 1t seems to US
that people go very much cut of their
way when they seek TO fasten fault to
Spring by forever reviving old stories like
that. If other Springs permitted IL, aud
If this one should, We are sure, neverthe-
less, that no harm is meant It's just
Springs innocent and childish way.
We find no wrong in Spring, peg Sc; all
we have to say is that she ought TO be
made 10 let dignifed old gents like Janu-
airy alone, and not bother them with her
distracting Ioveliness when they are at
tending strictly TO business and seeking 10
fiji out their allotted sphere In this short
and tangled life. January had work 70
perform. How was he TO do anything with
such a bewitching little beauty as Spring
ever at his elbow. smiling. blushing.
laughing and stabbing him with flashes
from her violet eyes? II was an impossi-
bility. And now January has gone 10 rest
fOTeveTmOre.
When Spring has grown to be a full
blown summer girl and winds the June
time roses in her hair, she will have more
discretion, perhaps. But recently she has
needed a chaperon.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-03
THE REAL WALL STREET PANIC.
Visions of Roosevelt strike Terror
Into Financial Hearts.

From the NeF York World
The Inevitable attack Of dalirium ire
mems has followed Wall streets prolonged
financial debauch. Millions Of Theodore
RoOsevelts are now dancing around the
victim. Phosphorescent spectacles CLEAN
from every nook and corner Of the stock
exchange. The crashing Of Presidential
teeth is heard above the roar OF traffic.
The sky is darkened by Big Sticks that
hang in clouds. There is no refuge from
the terror by day or the pestilence that
walketh in the darkness. And the worst
is yet 10 come
He IS going to order a horizontal reduc-
ton Of 10 per cent IN railroad rates He
IS going to squeeze all the water out of
railroad stocks. he is going 10 prevent
the issue Of new securities He Is going
to burn the Constitution at the stake. He
IS going TO ohliterate State lines He IS
going to investigate everything and sen
tence everybody that owns stock I'm a
corporation TO life Imprisonment He IS
going 10 abolish the Supreme Court.
Maybe he will hang Congress, especially
the Senate He is going to indict every
body that has more than s. Everything
over Sll is a swollen fortune and must be
COnfiscated
Flesh and blood cannot endure this
agony much longer. Two years more Of
Roosevelt is likely 10 find all Wall street
in a padded cell. while the attending
physicians shake their heads ominously.
Already the suffering Of the victim melts
the coolest heart to pity.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-03
LIGHT ON HANKS.
Commissioner PrOuty Compliments
Him in Texas Interview.

IINll INC fDfL worth star
You Lay state that Charles 5. Hanks
is a valuable employee Of the Interstate
Commerce Commission said Commits
sionor c. A. Prouty. who IS holding the
hearing Of the grievances of the cattle
raisers against the railroads here this
week
Dir Hanks has been with the commits
sion several months" continued Judge
Prouty, and his work has been the Sc
curing Of Information wanted by the com
mission"
Judge Prouty stated that in connection
with the work Mr.. Hanks was engaged
In. or had been working at on behalf
Of the commission, he also had an assist
ant. and that both were paid by the
commission and out Of the appropriation
allowed the commission.
Besides Mr.. Hanks and his assistant
he was given the privilege by the COM
mission TO use clerical assistance en-
ployed by the commission in carrying out
his work, said Judge Prouty
de was asked II Il was not a fact that
Mr.. Hanks was employed by the commits
sion upon the suggestion or intimation Of
President Roosevelt Further than adj
mitting that Mr.. Hanks was a warn.
personal friend OF the President. Judge
Prouty would not commit himself on this
subject, adding, however, that the sery-
Ices OF Mr.. Hanks were perfectly salts
factory. as far as ne knew.
The action Of Senator Cuibersou in
securing the adoption by the Senate Of a
resolution requesting the Interstate Com
merce Commission to inform that body
whether Charles S. Hanks is employed in
any capacity in connection with the conn
mission and by whom employed. was
brought 70 the attention OF Judge Proutv.
and the commissioner stated that M
Hanks received a salary, and. moreover.
the amount of his salary and expenses
came cut OF the general appropriation
covering The work Of the commission.
Il presume the Senate will next want
to investigate the expenditures for ALI
minor accounts. and probably will want
to know something about the hack fare
already spent said Judge Prouty.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-03
ROBERT f. LEE.

This poem was written for Golfers. and is pub
ished in its issue for February 2 Il was read by
Thomas Nelson Page at the Richmond celebration
Of tue Tooth anniversary Of the birth Of the great
Virginia citizen and soldier. January is. 1907
A gallant fOeman in the fight
brother when the fight was DER.
The hand that led the host with might
The blessed torch Of learning bore.
No shrek Of shells nor roll a drums
No challenge fierce, resounding far,
When reeonciling Wisdom comes
To heal the cruel wounds Of war.
Thought asy the minds Of men divide.
Love makes the heart Of nations che
And So tbs soldier grave beside,
We honor thee, VirsiEiss son.
Julia Ward Howe.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-03
Hitting 1t with the Big stick.

Truly these are restless days. No
sooner had we taken a deep breath and
settled back for a needed rest after the
fierce Brownsville melee when another
issue scarcely less momentous arises 10
try mems souls. That is TO say. Repre-
sentative Murphy of Missouri. has intro
duced a bill against tips. But the en-
battled hosts OF freedom will not shrill;
even from this exciting issue.
Regarding the evils Of the tipping Sys-
TEN true patriots have never differed.
How to reach it-how to swat the unholy
thing of the face OF the map-has hitherto
been the puzzliug question. AS often hap
pens, while we went far aield and We're
lost IN the mazes Of academic discussion
the simple means for the humiliation OF
the tip lay close at hand.
AT last a statesman has arisen who,
with the clear vision and direct methods
Of real genius, shows how in one time
and mighty heave Of the shoulders we
may relcgdte the tip-insidious menace 20
free instltutions-to the scrap heap and
initiate our chests Tor renewed conflict
with the immemorial evils which still
Iinger in our midst
In other words, MI Murphy proposes
TO knock 0It the tip with no less d club
than the Constitution OF the United
States itself What more simple? One
dexterous bif, and the tip lies a villain
ous mass Ct flesh and bones at the feet OF
the Goddess OF Liberty.
Already in these imperial days Of re-
soUrceful craftsmanship the Constitution.
as a club. has been used in an effective
manner never contemplated even by the
resourceful statesmen who gave it form
and being. Il has hit ole0margarine
hard; it invades the mystic precincts of
the pink tea with a righteous menace to
white sugar and the shadow Of its hover
ing majesty causes even the gay and
festive Sunday comic 20 sit up and take
notice
Why. then. in the hands of men en-
tirely great should not the club-the Big
Stick-of the Constitution continue its
civilizing work until all mankind is benef-
Gently restrained from wasting money on
tips? Why not WELD the club of the
Constitution TO the end that the problem
Of economics may be settled right. by
forcing the thrftless wageworker-ai-
ways. of course. BY benevolently directed
thumps-to keep his expenses well within
the limit Of his hard-earned means and
by curtailing-Of course, without undue
harshness-the barbaric and ruinous ex-
travagance Of the rich2
Cheer up. brothers Of the anti-tip fra
ternity With Congressman Murphy s
proposition for a starter we may yet
get rid of the perfunctory treat the con-
ventional Christmas gift, and all forms
of enforced extravaganza. Then viii this
broad earth smile as one paternalistlc
garden Of joyous sights and sounds. where
erstwhile the wreck of language and the
crash of Tillman's tambourine disturbed
the listening Senate's academic calm and
reused the mOnitory ire of Hale, Of Maine.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-03

Iof It's methods and its tendencies, is very
significant The interstate commerce law
has been on the statute books since 1887,
the antitrust law since 1890: many States
have anti-monopoly laws; yet the Stand
ard oil Company is more firmly in
.trenched than ever, and we find that it is
doing in 1907 exactly what 1t did in 1857
and earlier. In no important respect has
liz been corrected and restrained. Win the
power Of government, expressed through
legislation, ever rise superior to this ex-
traordinary monopoly? What statesman
of the day has any ineligible or convinc-
ing answer to this vital question?
The Washington herald., 1907-02-03
ROosEvELTs PLACE IN HISTORY
why IL Is Fair to Take Him at EsfI-
mHte of His Enemies.


William Allen White. in McClure's
II seems to be settled that Theodore
Roosevelt is to have a place in history.
though, Of course. the wise gambler never
bets on anything that can talk: and IL
Roosevelt is TO have a place in history
along with those immortal names that are
not born to die it is IN order to ask, Why?
What has he done? To be sure. ne has
fought the battles OF peace, both abroad
and at home He has won from the
world a recognition Of Che dignity and
power Of simple justice unadorned By the
frills of diplomacy; and for the people at
home he has won some peaceful victories
in the preliminary struggles against the
encroaching greed OF organized capital.
To be sure. he has issued certain orders
that have temporarily helped to purify
politics, and he has made life uncomfort-
able for those who would steal from the
public treasury OF violate their official
trusts. But is that enough to lift man
upon a pedestal In the worlds hall OF
fame. TO which. so far. America has con-
tributed but three figures - Franklin.
Washington. and Lincoln?
Naturally. his friends see man IN one
light and his enemies In another 50 there
are two distinct views Of Roosevelt. II
his friends contend that he is responsible
for Cuban reciprocity for the law estab
fishing the Department Of Commerce and
Labor, for the Eikins law. for the rate
law, for the pure-food law, and the meat
inspection law, bis enemies demand that
Congress, and not he, be recognized as
the legislative branch OF the government;
If Mr.. Roosevelt's friends point TO his
diplomatic successes. his enemies insist
that Mr. Hay be given credit for what
he did: If his friends rejoice at President
Roosevelt's war on corruption in politics,
his enemies declare that the Department
OF Justice should have its share Of the
credit But even his enemies blame the
President for influencing Congress to take
what they consider an unsound position
regarding the distribution Of wealth. even
hts enemies admit that Mr. Hay acted
under the Presidents counsel; and when
these same enemies seek 10 place the
Odium for unsettling conditions by expos
Ing fraud and corruption and furnishing
IL, even though IN high places, they dump
IL all on President Roosevelt Yes, damn
you, and you began il" muttered a Sena-
tor at the President when the famous
muck-rake speech was first delivered at
a private dinner And then the Senate
was grilled by the President. So it Is
fair 20 take him at the estimate Of his
enemies and consider him merely as an
influence and let his fame shine or fade
as his influence grows or wanes.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-03
Domestic Cigars Improrinn

From the Boston Herald
According to the United States Tobacco
Journal our cigar manufactures have
doubled their output in eight years. This
furnishes incontestable evidence Of the
fact not only that the cigar smoking
habit is increasing. but that the domestic
cigar is getting far ahead of all others in
popularity. The fact that It is cheaper
may account in some measure for this.
bat it deserves 10 be said also that the
quality of the domestic article has i'm
proved vastly and rapidly.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-03

From the san Francisco Cal.
On the afternoon of November . Capt
Lawless was surprised to see twelve black
and white ducks flying overhead. They
came from the eastward After circlipg
around the Mariposa number OF times
as if they Were wondering what kind Of
an island the liner was. the ducks wheeled
into line and resumed their flight. head
ing due west The ducks were 1850 miles
from San Francisco, and LOO miles from
Hawaii, the nearest land.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-03
How He Did II.
Negro Children Read Poetry.

From the Kansas City Star.
Negro children are fond Of poety-
more so than white children"
This is what Mrs. Carrie Whitney,
public librarian. SAYS
Not long ago she continued 4 saw
q negro boy in here deeply engrossed in
a rather large book. I walked gently NJ
behind him. What do you suppose he
was reading? You couldn't guess in a
year. It was Dante's inferno His
little face showed eagerness. too. TO
learn of that terrible picture Dante
drew
The poems of Eugene Field are par
ticularly attractive to the negro chill
dren. And every few days one OF them
makes request for the poem. which
says, An the COLLINS II get you, ef you
don't watch out"