The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1907-07-14
HODESTY AT iS CLUBS DINNER
NOBODY WANTED HIS NAME IN
THE NEWSPAPERS.
Extraordinary Reticence Of the Professions
Wits VINO Gathered at the Brighton
Beach Hotel Last Night Made the Task
Of The Reporters Unusually Arduous.


Al the uproariously funny and side
shifting wits who make up the Thirteen
rIub went down to the Brighton Beach
Hotel last night to have a dinner. There
were 3i3 Of the professional humorists on
he job, and il goes without saying that the
dinner was a tremendous scream.
The Thirteen Clubs object in life is to
down superstition. Wherefore last night
they broke mirrors amid hearty peals OF
laughter; they had Five Cent Bird Coler as
POSTMASTER; they spilled salt regardless OF
expense. walked under ladders, had the
Rev. Madison Peters. a clergyman Of this
city. for principal speaker. and got the
Hon Mickey Finn-known along the lee
turing circuit by his own name, Ernest
Jarrold to recite some Of his Mickey Finn
stories and speak pieces. The Thirteeners
tpdK aAy chance at all.
There we're only a few slight bitches. In
The frs place the dinner was scheduled
FOR 7i3 O'Clock, but owing to the big racing
crowd at the hotel and the swarm Of Satur-
day night diners Landlord Clark King
couldn't take care OF the funny people until
about $50 O'Clock. In the meantime they
stood outside the dining room and joked
and joked and joked and joked. Just
nefore they filed into the dining room the
second mishap came along when J. r..
Aharbanell. one Of the m embers. walk ed
under the ladder amid shrieks Of appre-
clative laughter and the ladder up and fell
ru him. skinning his nose on 10Th sides
aud across the bridge. DR.. Leo Jacoby
Iatched up the humorist and the mishap
Mas soon forgotten in the merry joking
that was soon resumed.
But the real trouble came when the MEM
hers Of the club noticed the press table be-
GIN TO fill up. Many Of the Thirteeners
Who we're only slightly injured in the crush
10 get up to the table and hand their names
in for publication in to-day's papers we're
later Strengthened out without the aid OF a
physician. And In the meantime the Rev.
Madison Peters wa scratching and scratch
ing away. writing out -four advance page
of the gist Of his speech 30 that any reporter
who had To get up and leave before Mr.. Pc
ter-'s turn came to talk would be sure not
20 miss "A good thing for his paper. ALSO
The Hon. Bird Coler sat in a brown study
making q mental preparation OF his remarks,
and while the gayety went on and on and on
he thought and thought and thought.
Brian q. Hughes, perhaps the very fun
NEST man in town. nailed the press table
first and told in detail of the screams he
vas going to get of.
When the coffee and cognac come on
and the cognsc is all liz up" explained the
humorist. well have-ha! h~a!-pardon me
for lau~ghing-all the lights turned out
say. help me hold my sides-e-e-e-e-eyowi-
end then | get in a big coffin. When the
lights are turned up again | get out Of the
coffin and | stand up and recite some lines
superstition. doomed for a time to walk"
Have you got Reggie Doulls name?
He's here" painted Master OF Ceremonies
Rem Franklin. Don't forget Mr.. Doull;
N - - 49,
We have a Police M gistrate here from"
q Judge-that's no nickname, but a
regular title-Judge Stake in. too" breathed
another excited member.
Judge George W. Stake" explained the
Judge himself. with a careless remark
tina as long as the name was going into
print IL might as we'll go in right.
And I'm going to recite,' observed
Mickey Finn nonchalantly. Just wait
ill ] sec that man over there and Ill come
to recite 'Shanahan's Old Shebeen.' by
Jerald Bran; but his voice was lost in
the screams Of laughter that began. to
greet a swell wheeze that somebody had
got Of some time earlier in the evening.
The Rev. Madison &. Peters was going
over his pencil manuscript now and cross
Matching here and there TO make the per-
feet even more perfect, II that were pos
sible. Sometimes he signalled the reporters
that he was ready TO deliver the finished
goods. but then the distinguished man
would get another bunch and wave them
all back while he took up his pencil for
another try.
"Oh. don't forget to put in Looie Kinstler
Of The Bronx" some one was saying by
this time
They've mentioned me for Judge up
there" added Mr.. kinstler with a deep
blush.
And I'm going 10 recite something
just Il few bits Of my own" resumed Mickey
Finn. when you get a chance Ill tell
You fellows all about--
Did you get Reggie Doull the Alderman
asked Ben Franklin, -and the Magistrate
from Staten Islandr Wait, III ask him his
name.
While Mr.. Franklin was looking up the
famous iurist the Rev. Madison Peters
again gave the high sign. Nothing came
~ il, however. AZ the speech still was not
all that a purist would like to see IL. Mr..
Peters had got his .ycDnd or third bunch
for Some breezy. snsppy things, and every
Uninterrupted And Bird C2ler sat and sat
and sat and thought and thought and
thought. "Ifyou mention my Rotations and
readings, Mickey Finn went on you might
remember that I'm better known by the
name of Finn than AZ Jarrold around
Here's Capt. John p. Scrymser Of the
Thirteenth Regiment, Brooklyn" sale an
other Thirteener. The Captain bowed.
you might say that the Captain is q Cap
tain in the Thirteenth Regiment of Brook
lyn. past chief ruler Of thisc club. past master
OF Montauk Lodge, president of the
Thirteenth Regiment Veterans AssO-
The Rev. Madison Peters was making
what now seemed to he the highest sign OF
AL. Just what else the captain is was not
learned in consequence, but even the Few
titles listed here is going sone. Then
Htinge r. Roe, "son Of the famous novelist
T.. p. Roe" was lead up and put through
las PAGES. Thick and fast came celebrity
after celebrity. each blushing more than
the other and each bashfully spelling out
hl~ name 40 hat IL wouldn't get in bad.
There were j. Lehman. II. Nieman. l..
Cheney, j. Hobbs. II. Phillips, a man named
Smith. two Joneses, G. Bostwick, J.. Kelley.
t. Ilomcycr. r. Bell. j. Morton, N. Langan,
u Hines and g.. Stake. In fact there
were 50 many celebrities present hat half
a. vcll known from the Atlantic TO the Pa
clir m those published herewith. Also
there were many women present because the
programme had already announced that
ttI~ was the Ladies' Midsummer Banquet"
Ourr "A year this way the delightful Ihir-
tr"u'rs give the girls "a treat.
NI,u, Mr. Aharhanall nnalIV stood uD