Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1907-12-06

unearthly.-The RystandeS.
He with; sigh)-I have only one
friend on earth-my dog. She-Why
don't you get another dog?-Chicago
Daily News.
CitimaR-Yes, she's married to a real
estate agent, and good, honest fellow,
too. Subbubs- gracious! Big
amy, eh@Philadelphfa Press.
Johnny, doesn't your conscience, tell
you that you are doing wrong?" 'Yes,
mother, but father said wasn't to be-
lieve. everything L heard."-Punch.
Patience-Did you ever hear the
Duette sisters sing in concerto Patrice
No; one always seems to be little
ahead Of the Sther.-Yonkers States
man.
No, l don't care for English opera"
why not?" Because 1t hothers me to
listen to what the singers are saying
when l want to talk."-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
A'N'a -ShS' AWAY D StlI ohC NuhlCu
husband who was easily pleased. Bess
Did she get such one? Nell-Why,
yes; didn't he marry her?-Lippincott's
Magazine.
~ should think," she said, that golf
Ing would make you awfully tiredy'
Mo, | stand 1t first rate, You see
never keep my score at all'-Chlcago
Record Herald.
Church, see that Argentine has a
54-mile horse railway. 1t Is the long.
est In the world. Gotham--Gee! Think
Of holding on to a strap for "a miles!--
Yonkers Statesman
II must get you another chair for the
kitchen, Katie, see you have only
one" Sure, you needn't mind, ma
have none but gintleman callers
Yonkers Statesman.
I'm going to put n fender on the
front Of my runabout," 80 you won't
run over some onep' Nope. SO II
won't hurt the radiator when do."-
l. iulu iDcutI.
Wigwag-That's fine dog of yours,
Saphedde. Saphedde--Yes, indeed, he
is. That dog knows as much as | do.
Wigwag-Ill give you quarter for
Record.
Excuse me, sir, but this Is the sixth
time that you have gone away without
paying" "Oh, my dear young lady,
when a man sees you he forgets every.
thing else. e."-Fliegende Blaetter.
Lady Customer wish to tell you
how these shoes of mine are to be
made. Shoemaker-Oh, I know that
well enough-large inside, and small
Outside.-Meggendorfer Blaetter.
"Oh! Willie. what's this queer look.
in thing with about a million legs?"
That's a millennium. It's somethin'
like a centennial, only 1t has more
legs. s."-"Natural History in Life.
Nell-Yes she said her husband mar.
ried her for her beauty. What do you
think of that? Bele--Well, | think
her husband must feel like n widower
now.-Cathollc Standard and Times,
Blinks-The first principle of an.
archism Is to divide with your fellow
man, Is it not? Winks-No. The first
principle Is to make your fellow man
divide with you.-Chlcago Daily News.
Hotel Proprietor-Ilas not the man
in No. 10 received his bill yet? Head
Waiter-Certainly Fifteen minutes
ago. "Strange! | hear him still sing
ing in his room. m."-Meggendorfer Blaet.
ter.
Tired Tatters,I saw de new moon
over me left shoulder las night.
wonder wot dat's sign NV? Weary
a sign dat de mex place
youse ask fer work youse'll git it.
Chicago Daily News.
Mr. Phoxy-Did you send the Borems
a card for our "at home| Mrs.
Phoxy-Yes; how could get out of itl
Mr.. Phoxy-I'll tell Borem that jerks
Is coming. Borem owes him money
Terre Haute Tribune.
"Ah! pretty lady," said the fortune
teller, you wish to be told about your
future husbands" "Not much," replied
Mrs. Galley. "I've come to learn where
my present husband Is when he's abb
sent. ."-Philadelphi Press.
Husband explaining his late home
dear, | couldn't help it.
just missed the last car and had to
wait forty minutes. Wife-Now don't
blame it on the street car company.
They've troubles enough without you.-
Detroit Free Press.
Hawklns-Oh, well, Bjenks isn't such
l bad fellow, after all. Dawkins-