Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1907-07-16
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Don't take any notice of the cook.
Maria But John, she's lust given
it"-Baltimore American.
DO you regard that mans argu-
ments as sound?' Eyes" answered
Senator Sorghum; "that and nothing
else. Washington Star.
Mr.. Tiller-You see, the wind was so
fierce that our yacht sail was torn to
ribbons. Miss Lighthead-Ahi see
a sail of remnants illustrated Bits.
Kind Old Gent-That do you mean
by saying your occupations gomez Soul
weary Samuel-Theyve pulled down
the house used to lean against-Aly
Sloper.
She-She is always talking about her
mince pies. Did you ever see anything
unusual In theml He-Yes, saw
shoe button in one once !-Yonkers
Statesman.
what do you intend to do with your
automobile?" That doesn't concern
me-" answered the nervous man. The
question is. What is my automobile go
ing to do with me?' Washington
Star.
Dear, will have to get new dress
this fall, and they say checks will be
much in demand for costumes" "I've
never known a time since | married
you when they weren't."-Baltimor
American.
Schoolmaster Cat end of object les
SOM -Now can any of you tell me what
is water? Small and Grubby Urchin--
Please, teacher, waters what turns
black when you puts your lands in I'll
Dundee Advertiser.
visitor-Well, Ethel, are you going
to paint pictures like your father when
you grow up? Ethel should like to,
but mother says one artist in the family
Is quite enough for any poor woman to
put up with.-Judy.
Wears Wife (sympathizlngly)- Now
that you can't get about. and are not
able to read. how do you manage to
occupy the time? Old Maxwell, mum,
sometimes sits and thinks; and then
again l just sits.-Punch.
Mother Cat end of story)-And an
angel came and fetched him away,
dear Dear (who is going to party
that evening If an angel should
happen to call for me this afternoon,
please tell him I'm out.-The Taller.
Ascum-I notice you're very atten-
tive to Miss Roxley. Have you re-
ceived any encouragement? Hunter
I should say so. received authorlta-
tive information that she's worth at
least half million dollars Exchange.
A Queston.-At a teachers confer
ence in Berlin one of the school princi-
pals rose to propose the toast, Long
live the teachers!" ION what?" In
quired meager, pallid, Young assistant
instructor In a hollow voice. -Harper's
Magazine.
Mrs. Caller-What Is your husband
doing now? Mrs. Shiftless-He's got
a mathematical job at present. Mrs.
Caller-Mathematica job? Mrs. Shift
leSS-4eS. I1eS Tying W hSuiS Jul
some way to live without working
Chicago News.
"Really-er-I'm afraid you over
heard what I-er-said about you,"
stammered the gossip, who had been
caught red-handed. Perhaps Ter
was bit too severe" 20! no" re-
piled the other woman, "you weren't
nearly as severe as you would have
been If you knew what think Of you"
Philadelphia Press.
The schoolmaster asked the pupils:
Suppose in family there are five chill
dren, and mother has only four potatoes
between them. Now she wants to give
eveFy child an equal share. What is
she going to do?" Silence reigned in
the room. Everybody calculated very
hard, till little boy stood up and gave
the unexpected answer. MASH the
potatoes, sir'-Chrlstlan Register.
Speaking of accommodating hotel
managers remarked traveller, "the
best | ever met was in certain Mid
land town. l reached the hotel late In
the evening. just before | retired |
heard scampering under the bed and
saw couple of large rats just escap-
Ing. | complained at the office The
manager was as serene as summer
breeze. I'll make that all right. SIR
be said johnson! Take up cat to
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