The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-12-11
THE WAY IT WORKS.
Teaching 9 Calf to Drink 10 . Soul
Trying Operation.

Trying Operation.
Those who have had mournful cx.
pcrlcncc know that there Is nothing
more trying TO the soul than the opera
tlon NJ tcnchins u young calf to drink
The process Is familiar to every man
who has brought up calf from In
fancy. You seize pail VI warm milk.
Z, into the stable. catch the calf 10y
the ears. back him into corner and
bcStridc his neck The idiot rather
likes this aud while YOU are reaching
for the pail he employs his time IN
slobbcriug the lower corners of your
Jacket You discover what the block
head * about nnl box his ears You
can't help II. You feel that way aud
let him have IT, But the calf cant
tell f,r the life Of him why he has been
struck. aud he gives n sudden aud TN.
expected "nounCc" lie believes he
will-go over and stay on the other side
OF the stable. hut he doesn't announce
this beforehand. lie starts on the i'm
pulse Of the moment. and you can't tell
Just when he arrives there. You ride
along with him n little way. But the
laws Of gravitation are always about
the same Your lcgs-ouc on each side
Of the crittcr- keep up with the calr
for about second. but your body
doesn't. You slide over the calf. ani
your back kisses the floor Your head
Is soaking In the pail OF milk. When
you get up YOU are mad uncommonly
so MIX runs from your hair and i'm.
precautions out Of your mouth.
There Is buttcrmilk In your eye. and
you solcmnly declare you will learn
that calf 10 drink or break his blanked
neck The calf doesn't know OF this
resolve. and he glnres at you In stupi
fright from across the stable. lie II
not aware that he was the cause of
your downfall and wonders iInorantl,
what In thunder IL the matter. You
don't try TO explain II to him, but furi.
ously catch him by the ears. look back
over your shoulder at the milk pail and
back up toward II. dragging the calf
after you. vino bawls out In manner
which seems TO say. els this the way
| You treat fellow creaturcf" You
| again back into the corner. sling youl
1 left leg over him and once more try 10
get his head In chancery. The calf at
tcmpts n little more funny business
and plungcs suddenly forward. You
are on the lookout for breakers this
time. and. having n firm hold on his
ears. you mutter through your cllnchcd
jaws, mo You don't. honey" But h,
does. though, and you "cross the cont
nent" together by the rapid transit
line. You hadn't intended to go. but
that Il where you and the calf didn'I
see alike. You take his view OF II II
n few moments later-you nstride o
the calrs neck. and. jammlng tn,
finger Of one hand into Its mouth. 20,
place the other ON the back OF his hca,
and shove his nose into the pail. full
resolved TO stranglc him II he doesn'
drink.
The calf holds perfectly still-omi
nously so-and there IL silence In heav
en- for the space OF half a minute. a
the end of which time the blockhcad
who hasn't drank IA drop. suddcnl.
makes n splurge knocks the pail 4
Kingdom come" milk and all: you nr
again reduced to horlzonto! from
perpendicular. and when you rise tn
excitement is intense. You have bee
soaked with milk. "slobbered" on an,
hurt and abused the worst way. No
n drop Of milk has gone down the In
fernal brutc's neck. and there he stand
glaring at you. ready TO furnish yo
another free ride anywhere you wan
to go With an affidavit. you bang hil
over the head with the empty pail an
hobbe out OF the pen. mad and hur
all through. fully resolved TO let you
Plain Dealer.