The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1907-06-14
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"
auto" 'Huh! You should see him
under it."-Milwaukee Sentinel.
The young man spoke bitterly: DO
you take me for a fool" "Oh. George" /"
she said, this is SO sudden" Mem.
phls Journal.
Mrs. Nurich,proudly-That clock on
the stairs is more than two hundred
years old. Mrs. Blueblood Cutting
All, Of whom did you buy it7
First Authorization were laid up
In your house all last week. weren't
you? Second Millionaire "Sick-
ness or investigation committeeT"-
Life.
Brown-Do you think the Panama
Climate induces laziness? Town
Does it? Why I took some bees down
there once and they got so lazy they
wouldn't sting.
Hodge-What's old ScrlbbIes doing?
He looks poverty-stricken. Podge-He
is writing series of articles on How
to Get Rich Without Capital" -Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
Mrs. Trust Magnate (newly rich)-
want one of them octopus-shaped
rooms for the library. Cynical Archi-
tect-So appropriate. dear madam
Baltimore American.
Burr-Do you think the end of the
world will ever come? Dock-I
thought 1t had this morning; my wife
got her new hat home and there wasn't
thing wrong with 1t.
The Agent-If you have this ma
chine, sir, you won't take anybody's
dust The Magnate-Then don't
want It I'm out for everybody's
dust.-Cleveland Leader.
Algernon-I-aw-ha resolved to
-aw-do something useful In the
world, doncher know. Miss DeStyle-
Indeed! Algernon-Yaws. am-aw
learning to tie me own Chicago
Daily News.
"What class of people do you think
has been most benefited by the libra
ries you have founded?" "I'm not
sure" answered Mr.. Dustin Stax.
But / kind of suspect It's the archl-
tects. Washington Star.
Teacher-If coal is S. per ton. how
many tons could you get for 500. Dis
turbing Element-Three tons. Teacher
That's wrong. Disturbing Element
Il know it Is, but they will do it
just the same.-Harvard Lampoon.
81 am a worthless thingw exclaim-
ed the rejected and detected young
man, despairingly. "Oh, no." replied
the fair girl cheerfully. "Not worth
less. Your skeleton alone would sell
for twenty dollars. Jour-
nal.
THAT was an awful break Bimerly
made last night after he had proposed
to the rich Miss Anteek and been ac-
cepted." "What was it?" "Just after
she had accepted him he asked II she
gave trading stamps. Commercial
Progress.
Surly Strong-Gin me nickel,
missus? Mlssus-I should think big,
strong man like you would be ashamed
to ask for money. Surly Strong-I
am, missus, but ain't got der nerve
to take it without askin.'-Philadel-
phia Record.
"Dubley bought horse the other
day ." "Yes, and he was hor-
ribly stuck, wasn't he?" "Oh! you've
seen the horse thenT 'No, but he
told me he was going to buy one from
"a friend who Is in the business y
Philadelphia Press
Bibliophile (aghast)-I beg your
pardon, madam. but that book your
little girl Is playing with is an old
and exceedingly rare first edition.
Caller-Oh, that's all right, Mr.. Vib-
bert. 1t will amuse her just as much
as IL 1t were nice and new.-Chicago
Tribune.
Did your bull terrier get blue
ribbon at the show?" yes" Il
should think you would hang it up
in prominent place" mo. You see,
this was a hair ribbon he snatched
from a little girl, and we had to pay
her father not to make any trouble" !"
cleveland Plain Dealer.
Anything peculiar about these peo"
pie that have just moved into the
house next door to you, Mrs. Cross
wayP" mo; there's nothing unusual
about them. They've borrowed step
ladder and tack-hammer, and turn
ed their children loose in our back
yard. Chicago Tribune.
Some Odd Wills.
/ a .ke 80 H.