The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10
LAYHA WKER .JOTS

In some Kansas towns the legend
which the bricks in the sidewalk tell,
reads: made in Coffeyville." In Nc
Pherson the bricks say, Don't Spit on
the Sidewalks"
A girl of Is eloped from Nemaha coun-
ty but claimed to be of manageable
age by the time she reached Kansas
City. Bert Walker has a theory that
she went on the Central Branch.
Now that Rev. John A. Bright has gone
to preaching out in Cove county, the
Osborne Farmer believes he will have
to change, Throw Out the Life Line, -
to, Throw Open the Cyclone Cellar
Door"
I'VE are not much worried" says Roy
Tapley, about whether the president
was served with cocktails at Vice Pres
ident Fairbanks house. What we would
like to know is, who got the cherry?"
Now what business has a good Metho-
dist like Roy Tapley got to know any,
thing about such a subject as that?
Tom McNeal has ideas of his own
about umpires as we'll as about how to
figure saving to the state on its print
ing. Our notion Of a proper umpire"
he says, lis one who is in perfect health,
whose fighting weight is about 200, who
is handy with his dukes and can strike
not less than 900 pounds. We have heard
of such an umpire but he may be the
creature Of the Imagination of the per-
son who informed us. We do not re-
playing with. He was a new man with
the indicator so far as that league was
concerned. There was a slight Hibernian
accent in his speech and he carried a
cold gray eye. He didn't look so very
big but it was noticed by the close OBJ
servers that he was we'll set up and
was easy on his feet. The umpire who
had preceded him had been mobbed by
the fans and slugged by one of the
players whom he had ordered to the
hn had nly crnf ia r. "
started when a strike was called on the
batter for the home team The captain
encouraged by the yells of the fans
rushed up to protest. The fist of the
umpire swung easy and free and caught
the captain at the butt of the left ear.
BY the time he had walked from his
dreamless sleep the side was out and
the other side was at bat. The pitcher
whirled round on his right heel, tied
himself into a knot and let the ball 60
Wan ball. said the umpire with the
Hibernian accent. The pitcher twisted
himself again and let 1t go. Two balls
said the umpire. The pitcher growled,
twisted himself into a spiral and let
the bali go again. 'Thra balls said the
umpire. The pitcher let out an audible
roar but went into another contortion
and sent the ball again. -Four balls
said the umpire. The pitcher dashed up
to the umpire with, You're a -. The
umpire landed with neatness and great
accuracy on the point of the pitchers
chin and he sank down in instant but
profound slumber. Put in another
pitcher an don't delay the game called
the umpire. Four enthusiastic fans
Jumped over the fence in front of the
grand stand and started for the umpire.
He shed his mask and shield with easy
grace and within a minute had put all
four of them out of business for the
time being. Some other fans had start
ed to follow but concluded that they
could see as we'll from their seats In the
stand. Play ball. called the umpire and
the game proceeded. There were no
more arguments with the umpire that
day.