Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1907-08-21
RattIesnakes On Toast Was.
the Cowboys Order.
BUT HE MET WITH HIS MATCH
The Pronptness With Which the
Tough Waiter Served the Dist, Took.
the Terror's Nerve Away--The Re-
past and the Final Request.

Straight, who could shoot with great
precision, play draw poker with I'M
varying success and pack eighteen
plates OF scelIaneous grub upon one
bare arm at one time He could exc
cute all the prevailing melodies either
on piano or guitar, and he possessed
the most tremendous baritone voice
ever heard In Arizona Why, men some
times went to Turpin's just to hear joe
deliver gastronomic orders. No per-
feet description can be given Of that.
voice, however, except to say that at
times it really did make things clatter.
Once fresh young cowboy from
near ella Bend entered Turpin's for
Christmas dinner who took a startling
connection as an appetizer and then.
dropped thud-like at a table and rough
#ly shouted to Straight:
Say, there, Badly! Bring me some
grubi' N
Job was at first appalled,; but, recoy-
ering his reserve limit Of eGuanimity.
he brushed an imaginary breadcrumb
from the frescoed tablecloth and
Whisked bill Of fare from the varie-
gated castor and placed 1t before the
new young terror of the Bend.
Take 1t away!, cried the latter In
tones that could give Straights ordi-
nary, everyday baritone a castle and
checkmate 1t in five moves. II don't
want to read your darned old tract.
/ don't care a darn who came into the
world to save sinners. Bring me some
grub grub! Grub! Grub! Grub!''
What do you want r.
"Rattiesnakes on toastl And I want
you to hump yourself!' r
What's that m
"I've given my order, you baldheaded
old cigar store sign, and / want you to
get move on yourself, p. d. d. Rattle
snakes on toast!'' s3.5
attlesnakes ON toasty'' cried Job to
the cook Ii accents that would have
paralyzed Carl Formes had that old
basso profundo been living and heard
them.
atflesnakes on toastv was the re-
verberating response from the cook
upon receiving the order. SS
There were q dozen or more people In
the restaurant, and their eyes were at
once turned on the young person from.
the Bend and the infatuated waiter.
In the meantime the cook had taken
q big catfish and cut 1t into four strips
and rolled these strips In batter, SO
that they much resembled the Wand or
dered, and after placing them ii the
frying pan he stuck his head out OF the
kitchen and shouted to Job:
= You want them rattIers rare or well
done ~
The waiter repeated the interrogatory
in cyclonie way, and the terror re-
piled In us violent tone and manner
as he could command, 1Well done, with
plenty Of gravy and Chill Colorado
And then Job Numbered to the cook:
We'll done. with plenty of Chilli Colo
RADIO, hot as and moccasin gravy
on the side and brochettes Of sand
crane livers and ella monster Hghtsv'
There was an instantaneously dead
silence In that restaurant, and all eyes
Were again cast upon the terror and
the waiter. The former turned ashen
pale and began to weaken perceptibly,
while Job gazed at his victim. 5s
\. Maybe you don't think we can serve
all the market Affords = muttered Job.
Maybe you don't Ike moccasin gravy
or brechettes la mode Maybe you
amt hungry!'
Say! You've got mel amt hungry,
SO help me. Icouldn't eat a single hard
boiled egg. Countermand that burned
order, old man, and I'll pay all ex-
penses and set 'em up as long as any
body can drink. Beg pardon, gentle
men, all My first attempt to be ter
ror- pardon me. gentlemen. It's my
lasti''
n And then he handed his revolver to
job and added:
Take that pistol, old man, as a
present and promise me that the next
time any burned fool comes In here
and calls for rattlesnakes on toast
you'll shoot him dead r.
ABut Straight was too ravfng mad all
TIP way through to willingly emerRa
frNm a situation only tolerabiy tn
So be took the weapon just
an the order WIS being placed on the
1Eble and, pointing It at the terror.
exclaimed.
Vow. then, my boy, dump yourself
into that chair and eat them snakes
bones, skin and alli'' S
The young fellow did as he was com
lnanded. but after finishing his rspast
staggered the uncosnpromissng Job BY |
shositing:
say, Badly, bring me another
plate Of snakes r Denver News.
Wanted New ones.
A traveller putting up ait a fifth class