davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23

which the Boston protagonist of the prole
tariat scatters his gems Of thought and
language broadcast. 1t Is in the form OF a
call" 1t is packed to the edges with
seething sentences. Here are some OF
them:
You must grapple with the traitor rich
who in the name Of Wealth have torn
down freedom and made Americans their
slaves. All the big rich are thieves. And
these are the gentlemen you contemplate
leaving the great magnet Capital in pos
session of. If some of the bandits reek
less of crime than others, 1T makes no diff
ference with the effect on you of their
owning the wealth-magnet. They have not
single right but the State prison Rail-
roads. trolleys, ships, oil, sugar. steel,
lands, acres of city blocks. engines of
wealth plundered from you. Leave them
these and their vast wealth-product flows
to the fieecers as eternaliZed loot You are
the wealth kings white nggers: for mig
gerhood is not color, but bowling the neck
to servltude. You must compel them to
disgorge. You must force them to sur
render the stolen engines of wealth. 1t
matters not whether rich man got his
wealth with technical honesty and decency
or not-you are his slave because he is
rich. Your blood tngles of time when it
did not truckle to the fool sceptered with
1eprous dollars. You would not lie tamely
down and deed your substance to raiders
If a Jelly Congress legalized horse-stealng.
You owe these horse-theves duty but
to put them in Irons and to get back your
own. Crouch no longer under their CALLING
blows. eighty million skulkers. Rise and
blot out the infamy. Force the crisis now
and sweep this League of Criminals to it's
DOOM
There is no knowing how much more Of
this thrilling composition might have been
produced II the end of the fourth page had
not been reached with the sentence last
quoted. Mr.. Swift has facile pen. or a
ball-bearing typewriter. If Talleyrand was
correct when he declared that language
was device for the concealment of ideas,
Mr. Swift Of Boston has assuredly man.
aged to cover up the details of his great
plot against the predatory rich and the
established institutions Of business by
means of his flow Of words. 1t Will be in
teresting to learn more about his plan.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23
"By-the-Wayers."

Parentheses are all right in print. but
they are mighty tiresome affairs in CONVEX
sation. The man who uses them contin-
ually Is bane to his friends and a blight
upon the gaiety of every occasion. by
the way he exclaims in the middle of
a sentence about how John Thompson
broke the bank at Monte Carlo, you ought
10 nave been there that day to enjoy the
perfect weather. Then he goes on for
several minutes telling about the smiling
skies and the ripping waves and the fra
grant flowers, leaving his hearers In i'm
patient suspense regarding John Thomp-
sons remarkable stroke of luck. He gets
your attention on false pretenses He
tricks You into concentrating your mind
upon tale of hairbreadth escape from an
automobile and then explains at wearisome
length how it CHANGED that he left home 4
minute and half late that morning He
starts in to describe how the ball game was
won, and at the psychological moment
winds OF on an account of the tremendous
din the peanut boys and score card vendors
made before the game. He tells you about
some interesting character whom he has
met, and stops for five minutes to describe
the pattern of the wall paper on his room
He has absolutely no sense Of proportion.
If he talked into a monograph and his
words were Transcribed into copy" any
normally constituted editor would wear out
a blue pencil cutting it.
Usually the parenthetical talker goes about
his work in much the same way pausing
to attend to trifles when the call of the
hour Is for important matters. He will
rush like steam engine through his work
for little while, and then, before he has
finished. he will stop to read the account
of social happening at Newport or ad-
dress a lot Of letters that do not have to go
into the mail until the end of the day. He
never conserves his energies. He is paren-
thesizing continually. In speech and deed.
1t is difficult to know just how to treat
the parenthetical talker. Is he to be per-
mitted to ramble on unchecked? Or is there
a way to bring him back to the main line
1t seems very rude to break in upon his
Numbering chatter about an extraneous
subject by remarking, Yes, but you were
speaking about Even the parenthesis
user may have feelings that are hurt by
such reminders that he is too diffuse.
There is a great comfort in direct speech.
in the clear-cut. crisp sentence. in the we'll
arranged discourse, the well-to1d story
Too many people start In the middle to tell
what they have to say. Then they have to
go back and explain. II should have said
| at the beginning they will remark. to the
utter confusion. perhaps. Of their hearers
concept of the case. Yet there is danger
in going too far back at the outset. Good
takers are rare that 1t might be advis-
able for the public school authorities to
frame up a course in oral narration. to train
the young In the art Of making others
understand without firing them.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23
Attacking the Putnam Story.

The iconoclast is at work again. tearing
down historical memorials. The latest OBJ
ject of the destroyer's enterprise Is the
tradition that Gen. Israel Putnam of revo-
lutionary fame was surprised by the British
one fine morning while shaving in a tavern
near Greenwich. Conn. and, leaping on
his horse. he dashed down a flight OF steps
cut in the rock a few rods distant and
escaped to the plain below. across which
he raced from the bullets Of the red coats
and SO reached the continental forces few
miles distant and rallied them to the at
tack. The good women of the region round
about Greenwich have succeeded in creating
a fund for the purchase and preservation
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23
The SUPERIOR FAMILY.

Pops on the grand jury. probing for graft.
And aunty has gone TO the club;
The decks deserted at home fore and aft,
There's no but me, Bill and Bub:
MY mas at the neighbor's for all afternoon.
The fifth OF q course Of pink teas;
They're playing bridge whist. or they will be RICH,
soon,
And we're growing up please.
Bub he crawled up the top OF the shed
And climbed the roof clear to the ridge.
And lust as he slipped and fell down his head
My mamma saying I'm bridge"
dog jumped at Bill and made fast to his cheek,
And bit out a quite lavish piece,
About the same time aunty got up to speak
Her piece the Lays Of Old Greece"
Pop saves the country by probing for graft,
While aupty grows cultured each day:
And clings to bridge superior craft
That brings all her wits into play;
But me. Bill and Bub-well, amt Of much ua
Beside of such problems these:
We can't go along they turn all loose,
And we're growing up we please.
y. w. Foley, In the New York Times.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23
Our Foreign Representatives.

At last the Sultan of Turkey has been
compelled to recognize the fact that the
United States is on the map. After years
of negotiation. maneuvering, devising.
threatening and compromising. the Ameri-
can ambassador at Constantinople has sue
ceeded in convincing the porte that certain
Demands of the United States should be
granted. 1t is important to note in this
connection that nothing whatever could
have been accomplished in this direction II
.he United States had not raised Its diplo-
matte representative at that capital to the
rank OF ambassador. Mere ministers the
sultan seems to regard as of no Importance
whatever. He let's them cool their heels in
the ante rooms and he breaks appointments
with them with not the slightest show of
COmpunction. But ambassador Is a diff
ferent proposition, and accordingly when
this government. recognizing the advantage
which mere title conferred, promoted it's
ConstantinOple representative, the doors of
the sublime porte flew open at his approach,
officials salaamed and the sultan listened
promised and. wonderful to relate, kept his
promises. The last of a series of demands
has Just been granted and relations with
Turkey are for once in long while har-
monious
There is great satisfaction in having the
sultan come to terms, but in rejecting upon
the case consideration must be given to
one point of which the American people
are apt, at times, to forget. This is in re-
lation to the great Importance of rank, title
and appearances at foreign capitals, espe-
Cially those OF the oriental and the semi
barbarous peoples Our diplomatic repre-
sentatives have always been handicapped
in such countries by their lack of means to
make dash. Their plain titles, their SIM
pie dress. their humble lodgings and ap--
pointments all conspired to render them in
conspicuous and often consequence I'M
influential. Now and then a strong man
has demanded and secured recognition by
sheer force of his personality, sometimes by
elbowing the conventions aside a trihe and
raising his voice while telling of the real
greatness of his country. But such meth
DDS are not always successful, and In the
main 1t has been only within recent years
that our plainly clad diplomats have ac-
quired prestige simply because they have
represented this government.
Congress has been very slow to understand
the practical Importance of making liberal
provision for the diplomatic service IN the
matter not merely of salaries. but for ap-
propriate housing and equipment. The Amer
lean embassy or legation is usually the
plainest and least impressive of all the Dip
lomatic establishments in any capital. Like
wise the American representative at a court
function is ordinarily the most obscure
unless his very simplicity of costume and
bearing may render him distinct. There is
of course. no desire on the part of the peo-
pie that their ministers and ambassadors
should adopt gaudy dress and spend the
public money foOlishly, but steadily the
dea is prevailing that We have too long
neglected the foreign conventions in regard
to the equipment of our representatives
abroad.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23
A Boston Brainstorm.

Up In Boston lives man named Morri-
son l. Swift, who has acquired perpetual
crouch against society. He has picked up
also in some manner In the course of an
unknown number of years rich vocabu-
larry OF denunciation. This combination has
had It's normal result in a continuous per-
formance OF publications having for their
object the organization OF a revolt on the
part OF the hoi polloi But while the
grouchy Mr.. Swift is long on spleen, he is
short on methods. He shrieks for revolu-
ton. but he gives no specifications as to
how II is to be accomplished
The latest emanation from the Swift
press. Number three Of a series OF four-
page leaflets headed Revolution" is a
choice specimen of the lavish manner In
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23

of the original Puts Cottage" which IL
now used as a museum OF relics Of the
oughty revolutionary warrior. The steps
dow Puts hill" have also been preserved
and are pointed out to wondering patriots
from a distance.
Blu. alas for the perpetuity of traditions!
A local questioner has arisen to attack the
story. First of all he says that Israel
Putnam never stopped at the cottage, which
was then used as a tavern. because the
proprietor was tory. and Putnam hated
tory a dog hates cat Secondly,
Putnam was not shaving that morning,
because he had attended a dance in the
neighborhood the night before and was
therefore already clean 'snaven. Thirdly.
the fleeing Putnam did not go down the
long flight of steps cut in the hillside. but
down the slope itself some distance from
the steps.
All this trouble arises over the recent
discovery of a razor near the top of the
steps, in such state of dissolution that
the conclusion was inevitable that it was
the original razor With which Cen Put
nam was shaving one hundred AMI thirty
years ago. The razor has been placed in
the museum with an appropriate inscription.
and the iconoclast aforesaid has arisen with
the assertions just briefly stated to prove
that it cannot possibly be the Putnam
blade. In scoring the razor relic he has Of
course felt obliged to go to the full length
and score the whole of the Putnam legend,
save the point that the continental was
pursued down hill by squad of British.
The bubbles Of the Greenwich critic will
not suffice to shake the faith of the Ameri-
can people in the Putram legend. 1t has
been narrated in story books and in his
tories for many years that 1t is as much
part of the patriotic lore Of the land as
the cherry-tree story and the Molly Pitcher
episode. The picture Of old Put scamp, ing
at a gallop down the stone steps from the
British troops. firing at him from the hill
top. has been too indelibly impressed upon
the minds of the American youngsters to
permit a questioner now to eradicate 1t.
What If Putnam never shaved? 1t Is I'M
deniable that he got away and later made
good against the tyrant, and that is enough
OF basis on which to establish museum
and shipload Of relics.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23
The KNOX BOOM.

From the Birmingham Ledger.
Senator Knox Is too prolix in his accept
ance OF q presidential nomination. The
nation is firing Of prolix statesmen.
From the Wilmington (Del.) News.
Somebody has discovered that the Knox
boom for President has experienced frost
thus early in its life. Blu. there are twelve
months yet to elapse before the nomination
Is made, and some warmer days are ex-
pected. There is thus enough time to get
rid Of the early frost.
From the Minneapolis Journal
The Knox boom for President now has q
radius Of forty miles from Harrisburg.
From the Buffalo Commercial.
1t Is conceded that the so-called Knox
boom has fallen fiat. and very fiat at that
From the Galveston News.
Senator Penrose Of Pennsylvania declines
to express himself on the candidacy OF
Senator Knox. II Boss Quay were alive
and refused to express himself it would
look gloomy for Senator Knox, but Penrose
does not weigh more than q ton now.
From the Milwaukee Journal.
It may be. after all. that the Knox boom
Is only philanderinG.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23
The JAILED MAYOR.

From the st. Paul Dispatch.
1t is not the mayor of San Francisco but
Mr.. Schmitz. who is in Jail.
From the Louisville Courier-Journal
Schmitz says he does not understand how
San Franciscans can bear to see him in
prison. On account Of mollycoddle senti-
ment against burning at the stake. doubt
less.
From the Omaha Bee.
Having deprived Eugene Schmitz OF his
power as mayor, San Francisco proposes to
spoil his equipment a fiddler by COM
pelling him to have haircut.
From the Richmond Times Dispatch
The records show that Eugene Schmitz
will make about the best ex-mayor that
any American city ever had.
From the Atlanta Constitution.
1t Is a trife mock-pathetic that Schmitz.
being a fiddler himself. should have to play
for the privilege Of dancing.
From the Providence Tribune.
With Mayor Schmitz deposed and in Jail,
things look at least a little brighter for San
Francisco
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23
A Cheerful Giver.

1 haven't made fortune yet,
An mebbe never will;
In lots O. things I've failed to get
The needful luck or skill;
I've somehow always missed my guess,
Exceptin once or twice
In small affairs; but none the less,
/ like to give advice.
I've had hard knocks enough, you see,
To teach me lots O sense.
1 won't be stingy, no, Stree,
With my experience.
I've been a loser at each game,
From Wall street down to dice,
An elsewhere, too. But jes' the same
like to give advice.
It's something which. you must admit,
A lot Of people need,
Although it doesn't always fit,
1t can't be guaranteed
There amt no laurels on my brow
Fame's plaudits to entice.
I've made mistakes. but. anyhow,
like to give advice.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23
IT'S A FRIENDS PRIVILEGE.

You'll be my friend and stick to me
Through storm and sunshine, foul and fair;
You'll share my joys. my comfort be.
When I'm confronted with despair
When fortune frowns. OF course, you may
This kindly promise recollect,
But I'll be bound you'll come and say:
You're getting what you might expect"
/ make mistakes. as all men do,
And have to bear the consequence;
It's often very bitter. too,
And my chagrin is most intense.
In such a case little spark
OF sympathy 10 not aniss.
But you would probably remark:
81 know that II would come to this"
You'll be my friend. you say; but friends
That privilege will always claim.
No matter what a man intends.
His consolation is the same.
You're only human, like the rest.
And when I'm overwhelmed with woe.
don't care how you may protest.
You'd tell me that you told me So
Chicago News
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23
MARK TWAIN ABROAD.
From the Baltimore News.

From the Baltimore News.
Mark Twain Is now in England to receive
a degree at Oxford. There is no fear that
Doctor Twain will take his honor SO SOL
EMMY as to lose any Of his exquisite hu-
NOR.
From the Columbus Dispatch.
Mark Twain will be a good deal funnier
after he has paraded London streets in one
of those white suits Of his.
From the Pittsburg Gazette-Times.
Mark Twain and George Bernard Shaw
met yesterday. Nobody hurt
From the Chicago News.
When Mark Twain and George Bernard
Shaw conversed in London yesterday the
American and the English brands of humor
had chance to compare their respective
candlepower.
From the Detroit News.
In preparing to welcome Mark Twain the
LOndoners have. as usual, set apart the
second day for laughing.
From the Worcester Gazette.
Mark Twain met another humorist yes
terday Too bad the dialogue between them
can't he published
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23
81 REMEMBER. L"

I remember, / remember
The house where l was shorn,
The little widows house where We
Played bridge till early morn:
She begged me not 10 leave SO soon
What could do but stayf
But now l kick myself because
She'd such a winning way.
I remember, | remember
The glasses tuneful clink,
But | really can't remember
How much had to drink;
With love and wine my head was full
That is so heavy now,
And much cracked ice twill take to cool
The fever on my brow.
l remember / remember
The roses, red and white.
On cheeks thought 'twere heaven to kiss
And asked her IL might;
1t was a childish ignorance,
But now tits little Joy
To know how much Of truth was In
Her Foolish boy!"
Puck
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23
The BIGGEST FISH.

Yew never heerd me tell
Abaout tibet monsterf Well,
He wuz the biggest one
I ever seen. i swuni
When / describe his size
/ can't believe my eyes:
An / don't 'spect tibet yew
Kin skurcely b'lieve 1t, tew.
Down Lizard crick one day
/ lshed an fished away
An here l wanter state
I had the proper bait,
An everything wuz clear,
MY head an hands an gear.
When l felt. nigh the bank,
mos tremenjus yank.
My cork went aout O. sight,
My pole bent double quite:
The crick she billed an billed
An got all rough an riled.
/ Strengthened Ike u bull.
An fetched a mighty pull
An would yew b'lieve TT Say!
He-well. he got away!
New York Sun
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23
A Fallacious Succession.

The modest sage with accents bland
A standard new acknowledges:
He is the wiSeSt in the land
Who gives the most to colleges.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23
Uufathomable.

"Why do poets wear long hair?" asked
the magazine reader.
Il never thought about that" answered
Mr.. Cumrox. THE most mysterious thing
about EN- to me Is why they should write
poetry
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23

1t is feared that the Russian terrorists
have all along been too busy with their
own enterprises to care much about what
happens to the duma.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23
SHOOTING STARS.
A Question of Authority.

what we want to do said one re-
former. lis to eliminate the political boss"
NO" answered the other, there's al
ways got to be a boss. What we want Is
to get the right kind"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23

The Governor Of New Jersey was not a
success as the umpire Of base ball game.
1t would be interesting to see how the Gov
ernor of New York would stand similar
ordeal.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23

The performance of a dark horse in the
Suburban handicap will, of course, be
noted by any of the presidential trainers
who believe in signs.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23

Now that the weather has become more
or less settled, lovers of uncertainty are
again turning to Henry Watterson's presi-
Dental predictions
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23

1t will not seem like real summer until
the announcement is made that Grover
Cleveland is enjoying himself somewhere
on a fishing trip.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23

One of the advantages of Oyster Bay is
the fact that there are no rubberneck-
wagon lecturers to make jocose remarks
about the tennis games.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23

The millionaire who makes a college do
nation should have it understood that any
expressions of gratitude must be sent to
him marked private"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23

Considering the comparatively short
time he has to serve. the talk OF a pardon
for Abe Hummel indicates very impatient
disposition.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23
An Old Joke.
From the Birminl

From the Birmingham Age-Heraad.
Oyster Bay is again the Paris and the
Toxic of the country. Washington is play
ing second fiddle.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23

Mr. Boas of the Hamburg-American line
insists that the steamship combine Is
myth; something like the sea serpent.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23

1t must be very difficult for Mr.. Bryan
to keep away from the first person singu-
lar when anybody inquiries what a demo-
crat is
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23

1t will be curious if the Fourth Of July
is not rather a nervous sort of day for
Harry Orchard.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23

Mr.. Baer is president Of 80 many different
companies that his expression Of super
cilious defiance seldom has time to relax.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23

The assertion that stock watering does
no harm is invariably made by men who
are en,.-ing large salaries in addition to
dividends.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23
Aesop.

From the Kansas City Times.
The original nature faker was old Aesop:
but he never pretended that his stun was
anything but fables.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23

J. ID. Rockefeller arrested for auto speed
ing, must feel like man who is hoisted
by his own gasoline.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23
Another Reason.

why don't you want men over forty
five years old employees on your rail-
way?"
Because answered Mr.. Dustin Stax,
after a man gets that old he begins to
figure things out for himself. It's kind OF
embarrassing to have a humble subordinate
see just what you're up to every time you
make a shrewd move.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23

'If mortals here below didn't want SO
many fool things" said Uncle Eben. "dar
would be a heap mo- faith in de efficacy
of prayer"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23

INTERESTED.-Is It true that the in
creasing use of motor cars has been q
splendid thing for trader A.-That seems
to be the case. The undertaking industry
was never In better shape.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-23

cent outcry OF the people against
Ition Of local pumps perhaps re-
minds the elder residents Of q
i, lows in The Star of June 16,
1QS7.