Okolona messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1900-current, 1907-11-20
| SUPPOSITIONAL
CASE

Buddy. Mr.. Buddy entered the ONES
upon crutches, and his face was Gov
cred with contusions, so that he look
ed as If he had emerged from terrific
conflict with an antagonist who had
won a complete victory. Placing hiA
crutches against the table and seating
himself very carefully in the chair Mr..
Buddy said:
"Mr Simms, jus dropped in to see
you to git little advice on a point
of law in which I'm interested, and
I'd be much obleeged II you'd tell me
exactly what my rights in the matter
are. I'll put it in this way: S'pose'n
you were to marry wilder, under the
idea that she was an angel-that she
was SO sweet that a barrel OF sugar
was mere bitterness alongside OF her;
and s'posen after you were consoll-
dated with her you were to find out
that she had temper like she wild
cat, and an unconquerahle custom OF
banging you over the head with skill
let's or most anything that came handy,
so that you didn't know what minute
she'd git her mad up and skeer you
pretty near to death.
Nov, s'pose'n this wilder and you
was to disagree about a little matter
OF chewing ter6aekeg IN the heNse and
trying to spit In the stove. and she
was to up and tell youth your own
house, mind you-that If you KEEP aim
Ing at that stove and missing it she'd
warm you up with broom-handle or
the like; and you were to say that
you'd chew where you'd a mind to.
and that while It was free country,
you'd hit the stove or miss 1t JUS as
you pleased.
"And s'poss'n one word brought on
another, until she got ON a terrific
rampage, and come at you and tried
to snatch out your hair; while you
grabbed her by the wrists and held her
so she couldn't. And then s'pose'n
while you were rassling with her you
was to get the best of 1t SOS she
couldn't do anything but have the
Mysteries and scream, and you all the
time afraid to let go lest she'd hustle
you out through the winder
Now, spose'n that wilder had
dog which belonged to her first hus-
band, and would rather bite you than
not, and all of sudden she was to
boiler for that dog, and he was to
come bouncing into the room, and, see
ing the widders situation, was to take
hold of mouthful of your right leg,
and shake it as though he was going
to bite it loose before he left; and the
wilder all the time sicking him on and
encouraging him to help himself with
out any regard for your feelings. sAnd
s'pose'n when you let go Of her to
tackle the dog she should bang you
with the scrubbing brush until you
looked's if you'd been ground up in
bark-mill, and then wouldn't call of
the dog until you hollered enough.
"S'pose'n all this, what l want to
know is, can't you sue that wilder for
assault and battery, and get an in
junction ON that dog? That's what l
came to see you about, whether you've
got to stand having your leg chewed
and your head smashed with scrub
bing-brush, or whether this great and
free governments going to protect its
defenseless citizens, l want to know
how it is"
Mr.. Simms looked very solemn for
a moment, as If contemplating the
problem carefully, and then he said:
II don't really see that the law can
do anything in such case, Mr.. Buddy.
If the man married the widow he be-
came part owner of the dog, and 1t
was, therefore, in fact his own dog
that assaulted him. Besides that, as
a man and his wife are one flesh, the
widow has a partnership interest in
the mans leg, and when she set the
dog upon it she was really encourag-
ing the animal to mutilate her own
property. No action can be against a
person who induces her own dog to bite
her own leg, nor will the law give her
redress If she batters her own head
with her own hands, for the wife who
strikes her husband really strikes her
self"
You don't mean to say" exclaimed
Mr.. Buddy, in a blaze Of indignation.
that is the law of this land, Of this
very country where our forefathers
bled for liberty! You don't actually
mean to tell me that red-headed
wilder, with Hver-colcred dog, can
actually make that dog gnaw a mans
leg into sausRge-meat while she
trounces him with club, and that he
caA't chuck her into Jail for it; that
he's got to stand up and take it?'
I'm afraid he has," said Simms,
with sad smile.
We'll, then" said Buddy, rising and
seiEing his crutches, that Just let's
me out as far as this idiotic land is
I'm going to quit. II wild
Gers are to be allowed to carry on as
Il men had no RIGHTS. I'll emigrNte and
hunt up some country where enlighten-
Cd civilization dent allow wtdders to
Ave Let's see, it's India. isn't 1t,
where they kill the widder when her
tlrst husband dies? Well, that's where
Tn going, I'm going by the first boat.