davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.
From the Philadelphia Record.

[From the Philadelphia Record.J
Ever the rounder may be a f1atterer
The more money a man has the less
polite he can afford to be.
A man is never too old to learn the
things that are of no benefit to him.
It's when a man has had his leg
pulled that he IS apt to kick himself
Self-esteem is the yeast that causes
a man to rise in his own estimation.
It Is never too late to mend. but Il
is just as well IL you don't have to.
It's all right to follow our inclina-
tons II they are going the right way.
1t isn't every man who can dictate
to his wife. but he can to his stenoEra-
pher.
The more confidence a man has in
himself the less ne is apt to have in
others.
When fellow has no family tree
It's all the more reason why he should
branch out for himself
Blobbs-"He usei to be a doctor b,,
now he IL a minister" Slobbs-'weII
you know it's easier to preach than to
practice" ~
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29
IN MISSOURI.

That the Kansas railroads were
justified in asking to be allowed to
charge a penalty from passengers on
their trains who fail to purchase
tickets before entering the trains. is
evidenced by their experience over in
Missouri. 1t is stated by the general
passenger agent of one road that "a
per cent. of the total passenger re-
ceipts in Missouri since the two cent
fare law has been in operation. have
been cash fares collected by con-
ductors on trains. while over in ILL
nois only. three per cent. is paid on
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29
nung himself over tn.

young man flung himself over the
fence.
Stella closed her eyes, and sank
down upon the emerald carpet. Pres
emily she felt some one rubbing her
wrists and forehead. She looked up tc
meet her lovers gaze.
In the evening Stella related to her
aunt and hostess how Loring had saved
her life.
HE is a splendid hero!" cried she
with her usual enthusiasm. "Am
going to marry him? Well / guess!
On the following day she repeated
the story to the girls.
"BuIl?" laughed they. Farmer
fuckers bull? Nonsense! Farmer
fuckers bull was tied up in the barn,
1t was a COW. You city girls ooh
know a COW when you see one!
But Stella would not be cheated or
leased out of her cause Tor re1olclhs'
'I know one thing" said she.
"What IS that?"
"Osbert Is a hero!'-(Copyrighted'
1907, by P. c. Eastment.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29

GLOBE SIGHTS.
rFrom the Atchison Globe.l

lFrom the Atchison Globe.]
How people sniff here lately at q
strict party paper!
Ever notice that after you get into
a mans debt you meet him oftener?
Sooner or later, about all the powder
mills blow up. Are you watching your
mill?
pretty young girl and a vigorous
old man are mighty well satisfied with
themselves.
An Atchison marrying man tells all
the widows that he will never be nice
to stepchildren.
Usually, when I say. Everybody
says So, it only means that I say So"
Drake watson.
Bill Moore says he could celebrate
his golden wedding in a few months if
he hadn't lapsed.
After a young man goes with girl
about so long. when in public they act
like old married people.
An Atchison woman looks as though
she would love to smile. If her huS-
band hadn't been dead less than a
year.
any town is that all Of those who look
at an autumn scene and wish they
could paint 1t, can't.
An 'Atchison man, noted for flirting,
has been married twice, and neither
selection was very good. The explain
make much difference who he is mar
ried to.
This question came up recently:
When a man is wild, does his wife
better things by tagging him around in
order to keep his fingers out of the
Jam? Is the result of this vigilance
worth while to her?
When we buy clothing, we always
buy it of the clerk who is the poorest
salesman in the house: then we have
something to say about it. A real
clever salesman can make us take
whatever he wants to get rid of.
When a man is down, there is US
ually a rush to help him. But when
a woman is down, there is a rush to
kick her. A man in trouble is better
able to take care OF himself than
woman in trouble. Why are the peo-
pie, usually 50 fair, SO unfair in this
respect?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29

bankers to scatter their deposits and
not carry any large portion of them in
any one city. Incidentally this action
is apt to fnjure New York's prestige as
the financial center of the nation.
Hereafter the rest of the country may
not carry any larger deposits in New
York than is necessary
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
IFrom the New York Press.l

IFTOfn NGW OI n ICsS.I
There's a heap of sense in not know
ing too much.
A woman can enjoy going anywhere,
though it's only a trolley ride, by call
ing 1t a tour.
It's very bad judgment in thief to
steal such a small amount that they'll
send him to Jail.
Everybody is supposed to be paid fer
working hard for others, except the
mother OF a large family.
About the only way to get even with
a man who takes your money away
from you il to wait for somebody to
take 1t from him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29
The Kilometric Ticket

Owing to the recent introduction of
the k1lometric ticket, travel is not as
expensive as formerly, and as gen
orally believed, and it is quite possible
70 travel first class over nearly all of
Spain for 500. First class kilometric
tickets are purchasable for little more
than third class rates; accepted on
nearly all railway lines and good for
many months. This ticket may be
used by one individual or, by a party,
presumably relatives; application
must be made at the railway offices,
several hours and in many cases sew
eral days in advance, and with the de-
post of ten pesetas, a photograph of
the person or persons wishing to use
the ticket. Outside agents will ar
range tickets to suit buyers and are
more expeditions in acquiring them,
and the small commission they expect
Is wisely invested. The greater the
number of kilometers bought on one
t1cket, the less cost to each sharer.
Women are strongly advised to travel
only first class in Spain, unless on the
main line from Madrid to the north,
when second class is possible
Travel Magazine
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29
hUNOR or THE Day

Blobbs--He's a hot-headed individual,
slobbs-Hot-headed? why, that fellow
is SO hot-headed that he has to wear a
stovepipe hat in midsummer.-Philadei
phia Record.
Take dinner with us tomorrow
could you not make it breakfast?
have numerous invitations to dinner each
week. but I can not live on re one meai
a day.'-Pittsburg Post.
Mistress-Bridget do you go by the
kf snse eioin or tne 15e IN ahe Rn 81 go
whin It suits me, without amy regard rer
clocks. Judge.
Hell suppose, then, we may as well
break the engagement, and say we nave
both been disappointed in love;
sion. You thought 1 had money, and I
certainly thought you had.-Judse.
Gentleman Lodger-I say, Mrs. Napier.
1 don't care for your bacon this morn
Mrs. Nap pre very strange. sir. The
shopman said 1t was only cured last week.
Gentleman Lodger-Well. it must have
had a relapse.-Punch.
Algy-So you didn't get a shot at him?
sun
II see by the papers that they have had
another monkey dinner at Newport"
What OF It? Where else would they
have it?'-chicago Journal.
do you think your boy Josh will make
successful farmer"
He doesn't appear to know much more
about keepin' summer boarders than me
an Mandy does. '-Washington Star
cowboy has been shaving away at that
desk for twenty years OF 50. Wonder why
he's never been promoted.
ing more than he's paid for, and his en-
find a man to iii his place."~fucE
Tramp-Madam, am suffering from in
fady-why, I'm sorry! What can do
to help your
stantiy by Swing me something to digest
PHILADELPHIA Inquirer.
Jinks-Here's something about an au-
thor committing suicide.
Winks-Yes; he had to advertise his
books in some way.-Schenectady Union.
Lots of people steal nowadays" urged
the burglar. Use that az a Plea t..
incorporated. "-washington Herald.
The Maid-I hear that you RECEIVED an
Cicely-Yes: from a man who wrote that
his love far outdistanced his income"
The Maid-How poetic! What was his
Cicely-I didn't think to look at the sig
The wife, during a quarrel: I'm going
right home to mother; so there"
The husband: That's right dear, OF
two evils always choose the less Please
don't bring mother here"-Yonkers
Statesman.
What is that old saying about fool
and his money!
,ooa discos-sd 700, nHa ms m sensIn are
you have myopia, haven't your" asked
the eye doctor. who had called at the
public library to look at reference book
IT don't know. SIR said the near-slght-
ed attendant blinking at him; but II We
have you'll find it in the catalogue
Chicago Tribune.
Ninty-noine in the sha-ade! BY CORY,
Do yez behave ut?"
"oi behave ut would be If there was
amy sha-ade. Life.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29

Governor Hoch of Kansas while in
Washington yesterday" comments the
Chicago News. announced himself as
q third-termer in a loud tone of voice,
and the police did not run him in.
Who said We did not have free speech
in this country?'' Must be the United
states senate dose not control the
washington police.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29

The trouble with the Westinghouse
companies in Pittsburg was not lack
of business. 1t was because they had
too much business-more than they
had capital to handle. and they could
not borrow enough additional capital
TO do the business
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29

As Kansas is the core OF the con-
tinent, we insist that all balloon races
should start from here IN the future.
If there isn't room enough for them in
America when started from Kansas,
they will have to be moved over to
Thibet and use Asia for race course.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29

Wall Street tried every other
method of soaring people into believ-
ing that Roosevelt had undermined
the business confidence" of the coun-
try, but meeting with failure it finally
resorted to reputation. Now will the
country hold Wall Street or Roose-
Welt responsible?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29

Governor Vardaman is coming in for
considerable criticism because of the
way he acted towards President Roose-
welt down in Mississippi, but we claim
that he did the handsome thing by the
president. He left Vicksburg before
the president got there and as a result
Mr.. Roosevelt did not have to meet
him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29
NOT READY TO o1T1T

Thomas A. Edison has perfected his
storage battery and will proceed to
abolish the horse, SO far as New York
city IS concerned, sin December l. It is
our guess Old Dobbin will be doing
business for a few years longer. how
ever.-Hutchinscn News,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29
FRON OTHER PENS


THE FINANCIAL DISTURBANCE.
In this time of financial disturbance
1T is. of vital Importance that every
man should keep his head. Distrust
and fear in such periods are apt to be
contagious, and persons who are in
no danger of being injured are liable
to precipitately do things for which
they are sorry when too late. Finan-
cial institutions and individuals that
had overextended their credits have
been compelled to sell securities, not
for what they are worth, but for any
thing they would bring.
AS buyers in such times are few and
timid, good bonds and stocks sell far
below intrinsic values. Under the
contagion of fear investors who are
not in want of funds are impelled to
join in the selling. In doing this they
needlessly intensity the depression and
disturb and infiict loss upon them
selves, for when normal feeling is re-
stored they will repurchase the same
securities at higher prices.-New
York Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29
TERRIBLE MISTAKE.

According to the members of the
Kansas machine, the states of Nebra.;-
ka, North Dakota. Wisconsin. Mime
sofa. Michigan, Kentucky. Tennessee,
Virginia, ILLINOIS, Wyoming, Alabama,
South Carolina, Georgia and the Others
have made n terrible mistake in grant
Ing the people primary elections
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29

Mr.. Hartman is quoted as admitting
that he will probably drop out" of the
Illinois Central management. Perhaps
that is what Stuyvesant Fish meant
when he intimated that something
would drop.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29

The United States treasury went to
the help Of New York when it got
short of change: Now will It do as
we'll by Oklahoma?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29

In the meantime, what has become
of all the plans for Roosevelt's future
that many people were busy making a
few months ago?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29

Topeka people who have been east
Of the Alleghanies agree that times are
pretty hard back there. The thing for
the east to do is to pack its grip and
coma west.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29
RESTRAINT OF CURIOSITY.

The sealing up of the final papers in
the case of Mrs. Chadwick is certainly
the result Of a conspiracy in restraint
of curiosity.-New York Evening Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29
THE SITUATION.

The process through which the
financial institutions of New York are
passing is a strenuous but healthy one
The long-continued decline in stock
market values-that is to say, in the
values Of collateral securities for loans
large in total amount and various in
character and purpose-has neces-
sarily brought out such weak spots as
existed, with the inevita BILE result of
excitement, exaggeration and appre-
hension.-New York Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29
MORE TRJITH

Those people who are always think
ing that the newspapers are hitting, at
them, are advised to look through the,
Bible; they will find many filings at
them In the Good Book" says a BROTH
er editor.-Troy Chief.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29
NICK'S PROFESSION.

1t is always a pleasure to enlighten
subscribers when We are able to do
so, and the Hampstead reader who
wants to know If Nicholas Longworth
is a professional man Is respectfully
informed that he Is son-fn-lawyer.-
Houston Post
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29

Secretary Wilson says the farmers
will get more money than they did last
year for their crops. The question is,
where are they going to put it?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29
THE LOG CABIN ROUTE.

The 1unatic who broke out of the
Indiana asylum and established head
quarters in a log cabin may be an
other candidate for president--Louis-
Vile Courier-Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29

The Smith Center Pioneer positively
refuses to join in extolling Grover
Cleveland, even If the old gentleman Is
nearing the close of his career.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29

Mr.. Hartman will continue to run
the Union Pacific as a railroad, but he
will not be allowed to handle its
pocketbook as he sees fit in the future.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29

Wall Street has greatly missed
Uncle Russell Sage recently, espe-
cially his big pocketbook and high
rates of interest.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29
TOO MUCH JOHNSON.

If johnson heats Burton and John
son beats the railways, the ticket will
be Johnson and Johnson, the Man
from Nebraska to the contrary not
withstanding.-Cin CONNER
Cial
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29

Now IS the time to show the cas-
that the financial Independence Of tn
west isn't all moonshine.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29

Incidentally you might begin tt
practice up on the New Years resolu'
tons you will make after awhile.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29

The politicians in Illinois are hav-
ing hard time in fixing up primary
bill that will suit them and still be
satisfactory to the people.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29

You will note that our old friend
ANDY Carnegie, hasn't any blues about
his person
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29
CANNOT STOP THAT.

A fire barrier is being built around
the Wall street district in New York
This, however, will not prevent people
from burning their money there just
the same as ever.-Philadelphia
American t-tt
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29

If Mr.. Hartman can not get an i'm
munity bath any other way, he might
try taking one in the water that is
squeezed out of his stock.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29
INTRODUCE THEM.

If the cornfields make their appeal
for help too loud they may arouse the
anger OF the men on the street corners
There are dozens of them loafinr on
the streets of Lawrence today. What is
true of this town IS true of every other
town. There is work to do and the
laoorers are plentiful but they Will not
connect with the jobs.-L.awrence Jour-
nal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29

Like as not you have already forgot,
ten about the fuss you made over the
hot weather only two months ago.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29

This is a good time to bring forward
that scheme to burn UP your old ash.
pile for fuel.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29

There is one comfort in living out
IN q desert: Wall Street cannot worry
you.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29

New York's action in adopting the
clearing house certificate plan ought to
have the. effect Of causing country
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29

Will wonders never cease? It is
said that the Central Branch is to be
rock-ballasted at last.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29
GOING BACK IN HISTORY.

Chancellor E. Benjamin Andrews
says that those who abuse Rockefeller
ought to be hanged Seems to US
that Is the way certain fellow named
Haman talked around the court of old
King Ahasuerus, in the palmy DAYS OF
Babylon. And every faithful Sunday
school scholar knows what finally hap
pened to acknowledgements World,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29
KANSAS. CONAENT
NEW MEXICO COMES NEXT

Whlie pioughing his way down
. .n;rousn the waters of the Mississippi
anS tne other day, in search of bear
ana In pursuit of national interests.
PRESIDENT Roosevelt remarked to the
governors of Oklahoma and of New
!nneAioo mat the former territory hav-
is,. peen disposed of, he was favorably
!ncllned to the immediate admission of
NeW mexico to statehood. The obser-
SaIon not only indicates that the presi-
oent mas given over the Mexizonia
sSc;inieIne, out that he will in all proba-
Dlii1y recommend to the incoming con-
sresS the admission of New Mexico to
tne Union of states. Whether the new
state snail be named the state of Mex
!co, New Mexico, or what not. that
People are entitled to statehood. and
pave Deen for years, and would have
peen admitted as such long since but
LOT the fact that a majority of that
terrltorys 1nha bitants have not been
american in blood sentiment or Ian.
guase But with the construction of
railways and the later dominancy of
the Anglo-Saxon, the Mexican is rapid
~ becoming an American. In fact a
majority of the inha bitants of this vast
oomaln or mountain ranges and irrt-
gated valleys are ready for enjoyment
o! All the rights, advantages and immu-
winch the aforesaid bear hunter is
urging on in such a rapid pace of high
STRIDES. New Mexico was not of the
LOUISIANA Purchase. but was coded by
mexico In the treaty of Guadalupe
Hfdalgo, in 1848, along with California
In accordance with a provision of the
Louisiana treaty. All of the Louisiana
Purchase has been, with the admission
of Oklahoma divided I'D into territories
and later admitted to statehood. Ari-
iona alone will be the last and final
state of the Mexican concession. The
contention that New Mexico has not
had the requisite number of inhabit-
ants for statehood no longer holds
good. She has more population than
Delaware, Idahos Nevada or Wyoming.
wishes that President Roosevelt may
make good his promise of statehood
Observation-Disclosures Eagle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29
A Nature Fake

IousHS, not PRESIDENT Roosevelt, who
started the campaign against nature
taking. Mr.. Burroughs has for years
with rfdicule no less than with logic,
punctured the nature faker's bag of
gas.
At dinner in Boston he narrated a
nature fake. 1t was as easy to be-
lieve, he said, as many of the nature
writer's anecdotes. Then he began:
my cousins wife's baby was very
Ill, and finally the crisis came, and the
sleep was to be decisive. On the
child's awakening the doctor would
know whether it would live or die.
"Well, in order that this momen-
my cousins wife, going on tiptoe,
muffled verything-chair legs. cups
and saucers, plates, the doorbell.
"And Sa, the noble dog, from his
seat on the sofa, taking in the situa-
ton at a glance. silently got. up on
chair and stopped the eight-day- clock
by touching the pendulum with his
paw.''-Los Angeles Times.
The CRATER.
Senators Frank B. Brandegee and
Morgan G. Buckley of Connecticut
were discussing with a Hartford edi-
tor a certain candidate for political
honors. "He is sure to fail" said
Senator Brandegee. He is beginning
his campaign with the most compro-
missing and absurd speeches. He re-
minds me of the man who wanted to
be a trolIey-car conductor.
This man looked hearty. polite
and intelligent, and the manager at
the car barns seemed to think well of
him. After a number of questions the
manager said
"'Well. what pay do you desire?'
1.-THE applicant gave a loud langh.
Then he dug the manager in the ribs
and said:
"'Oh. never mind about the pay.
boss. Just give me the job, and I'll
have a car of my own in week or
two"
r.. I. p.
Walter Christie, the noted automo-
bilist, shortly after his recent accident
said:
81 intend to keep on racing. 1t is
fascinating business, though it may
kill me in the end" He smiled. IF 1t
does kill me-" he said, tel them 10
in Pieces
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29

Algy-So you didn't get a shot at him?
Reggy-No, with a fierce cry Of MOO
he dashed away in the forest.-New York
Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29

81 see by the papers that they have had
another monkey dinner at Newport"
What OF It? Where else would they
have it?'-Chicago Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29

Mistress-Bridget, do you go by the
kitchen clock or the one in the parlor?
Bridget ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS, an OF go
whin II suits me, without amy regard Ter
clocks. Judge.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29

Gentleman Lodger-I say, Mrs. Napier.
1 don't care for your bacon this morn
ing! 1t doesn't seem fresh.
Mrs. Napper-Very strange. sir. The
shopman said 1t was only cured last week.
Gentleman Lodger-Well, it must have
had a relapse.-Punch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-29

DO you think your boy Josh will make
a successful farmer"
NO. answered Farmer Corntossel
He doesn't appear to know much more
about keepin' summer boarders than me
an Mandy does.''-washington Star.