Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-11-06
MONTHS FORECAST

Long we've waited for November,
when the winds are swift and chill,
when the first come SHOWS of winter
drift along the window sill; when
the hunter finds pneumonia waiting
for him at the lake, and the pies we
get resembles those that mother
used to make.
Every body fond of mince pies
Dances nimbly, feeling good;
Now and then an old subscriber
Comes up with load of wood.
Winters coming, and the bad boys
In,the school room sing and dance.
For the teacher cannot feaze them
When they wear their winter pants
November was the ninth month
in the old Roman calendar, and gets
it's name from nOvem, meaning
nine. The Der, which we would
spell burr, was added by Nimrod,
the quail hunter. He had an Irish
setter with which he hunted in
Novem, and the dog got so many
burrs on it's tail that he called the
month November. Like all burrs,
this one stuck.
Novembers place in the calendar
was changed when Thanksgiving
was invented. The Romans debated.
this in the senate. Some of the
Senators thought November should
continue the ninth month in the
year. Turkeys, they pointed out,
were large enough to eat. and there
was enough to be thankful for by
that time in the year to go right
ahead with the fireworks aud the
escoloped oysters. Cicero had been
very silent all this time. When the
Senatory who wanted to observe
Thanksgiving three months before
Christmas had said all they had to
say, he arose and disposed of them
forever by simply saying But cram
berries won't be ripe!"
The hills are painted red and gold,
The frost is boar and white,
The moon is sailing white ard cold
Across the skies of night;
The Fish and Hartman dispute
Will become a mortal strife;
Instead of proxy ballots,
They'll demand each others life.
So each will take of strychnine
A good and deadly lump,
And then they'll shake the dice tc
see
Which gets stomach pump.
The president has gone for game
and killed lady bear, the days are
growing short and soft, and hazy is
the air; the country editors who
once had money in their tllls, are
selling all their diamonds now tc
pay their bills.
Sagittarius the Archer is the 70
diacal sign for November. His
name is from the Latin word
sagitta, meaning arrow, and is
typical OF the sudden cold shooting
into the earth and causing the
turnip to run for the cellar like q
whitehead. From the first to the
twenty-second of the month the sur
will be in the constellation OF
Scorpio, which is Mr. Bryan's I'm.
lucky constellation, and will make
it difficult to tell whether he il
coming or going. From the 22d tC
the SOth, the sun will be in the con
stellation of Salttarius, in which
Mr.. Taft and the White House are
at aphelion, and he will look as il
he would irish about the fifth.
| On the 18th the sun will rise with
transit of Mercury on its disk. Fol
8 hours and SO minutes the planet
will describe a short chord on the
northern limb of the sun, causing
money to run to it's hole on Wal
street, and Standard oil to tel
everything.
Mercury, which Will be an even
ing star during the hrst TWO weeks
of the month, will tire OF lovers and
morning star for the st Of the
month. 1t will cast enough light
on key-holes for sports to find then
without using. funnel, and will
look with contempt into the cham
bers of mollycoddles and milk sops.
The girl who sued a summer man
Where cool sea breezes course,
Will keep on suing-in the courts ~
And capture her divorce;
The watered railroads will cOntrive
To have a few more wrecks,
And the press will print more lists
of names.
With broken backs and necks.
The loving maid will feed hel