The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1907-02-16
The Broadway Man and + n: .:= 4
* ">">> the Broadway Halter
By GEORGE M. CONAN.

There has been great deal of dis
cussion Of late as to. whether or not
Broadway is the real avenue it's tout
ed to be. At this writing there are
very few who shout it's praises; there
are many ready to condemn 1t, while
the more conservative ones sit around
answering yes and no, keeping their
opinions to themselves, but I am go
ing to declare myself and you can take
it from me that no matter what they
say. about this grand old lane, they
like it, that is, of course, provided
they are Americans. II they are not
Americans they have no right on
Broadway.
It takes an American to appreciate
Broadway, let alone understand it:
The Broadway man has his own
way of going along, his own line of
talk and his own ideas of life. His
heart is as big as his smile is bright
and his smile is as bright as the lights
of the "Great White Way"
Broadway belongs to him, and so it
should've has bought and paid for it
time and again-but all corners are
welcome so far as he is concerned,
and he has given strict orders that no
private pathway sign be ever posted
there.
Life is joke to the Broadway man,
and for this reason he is despised and
upbraided by the Broadway hater.
Have you ever seen the Broadway
hater?' He wears four-dollar suit,
pair of blue goggles, has an umbrella
in one. hand and his car fare in the
other. There is no law compelling
this mans frequent visits to Broad
way, but you'll find him there, ever
ready to tell you that it is all vulgar,
all wrong and unreal.
There he stands in the midst OF all
he .disregards, preaching his sermon,
while the Broadway man looks on.
smiles and murmurs "Hypocrite."
Do you know why he hates the
Broadway man?
In case you never figured it out, let
me put you WISE Because he knows
the Broadway man and looks upon him
as a joke; because the Broadway man
refuses to recognize him as man at
all. He longs to mingle with the man
he hates; his jealous mind burns with
desire for the companionship OF
those whom he despises.
The false love he has given to the
woman in the woods who waits for
him is no love at all, yet it is the only
love he ever knew. mo woman can
be respectable and happy at the same
time,' he says, so no responsibility
can he see on Broadway.
He hates the pleasures of Broadway
because he knows he can never asso-
ciate himself properly to enjoy them.
He hates any and everything that
even smacks of Broadway, because his
dried and withered mind is jealous of
the gayety it suggests.
Broadway, is all wrong with this
man-for that matter, everything is
wrong so far as he is concerned.
There can be no more miserable being
in existence, for down deep in his
heart he knows and realizes he is the
one real wrong thing in the world. He
ISLANDERS Broadway at every opportuni-
ty, so why should he be allowed on
Broadway
suppose the Broadway man should
venture to trespass on his home street
and say a whole lot of unlzind things,
behttling and scandalizing any and
everybody there, what do you suppose
this blue-goggled, narrow-minded
false-hearted rat would think Of this?
Do you suppose he would stand by,
smile, nudge his neighbor and gently
whisper: -"Let him talk. What do
We care?"
Well, all can figure in a case like
this is wild excitement, police patrol,
fire engines, frenzied mob, long rope
with the blue-goggled monkey holding
on to one end of it, and the Broadway