Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1907-08-30

What do you think Of his eXecutioni
Helm in favor of it.-Punch.
Miss Smith has written a problem
novel. hasn't she?" Yes" what is
the problem?" 'How to make 1t SELL"
Life.
Life Is so uncertain" she said. II
know It," he replied. Lets get mar
ried. One of us may die within few
years"-Chicago Record-Herald.
Wlggs-Why do you always regard
him with suspicion? Waggs-Well,
every time l see him he has a differ.
ent mbrella.-Philadelp Record.
Teacher-Miss Badger. what do you
understand by 'the privileged classes"
Coed-The botany class. They can go
out in the woods once In while.-Chi-
cago Tribune.
Suitor-I have the honor to ask for
your daughters dowry. Irate Pal
beg your pardon. sir! Suitor-Excuse
me- Of course l meant your daughters
hand.-Vie Pour Rire.
Marie. If James asks you to marry
him tonight, tell him to speak to me-"
"And If he doesn't, mammal" "Tell
him | want to speak to him. ."-Wom-
ans Home Companion.
a Newlywed-My wife only allows me
three hooks in the closet to hang my
wardrobe on. Oletimer-Don't worry.
Before you've been married long one
hook will be enough for all your ward
robe.-Stray Stories.
"Bliggins says that when he went to
school he was one of the brightest boys
In his class" YES" answered the
sporting man, that's where so many
of us fall down-gettng out Of the
class" Washington Star. ~
Mr.. Wholesale-My boy, hope you
save something out of your weekly sal
ary of So. Boy-Yes, sir; | save 81
week. Mr.. Wholesale-Ah! knew
l was paying you too much After this
I'll give you two Boston Post
Papa says" remarked the helress,
shat you're more fortune hunter"
well, now, my DEAR" replied the
shrewd fellow, that's more or less true.
Your face Is your fortune. and that's
what attracts e."-Philadelphla Rec
ord.
10000 my" exclaimed little Tom
my, hearing a church organ for the first
time, whats that?' Ssh" whispered
his mother, that's the organ" Good
ness! 1t must be an awful big monkey
that goes with that" Philadelphia
Press.
Magistrate (to prisoner) What, you
and hoped you were reformed. How is
1t that you have again gone back to
your old ways? Observation-Disclosures I
am only just, out Of prison, sir.-Bon
Vivant.
'Deary me, John, here's another poor
Teller ruined over by one o. these ere
autymobubbles! THAT alnt nothin,
mother. They do say as in Rooshia
thousands O. poor folks are killed In
the streets along O. this ere autocar-
cy!-The BystanCer.
Cynic (savagely )-They say the fash
ionable mother of to-day recognizes her
baby only by looking at the nurse.
Fashionable Mother (unmoved) How
extraordinarily clever, when one
changes nurses so often! always tell
ours by the mail cart.-London It'd
Bits.
II took out life insurance in order
to put something by for rainy day."
Yes" answered the cynical citizen
who has been following the life lnsur-
ance investigation. "but you know how
little conscience some people have about
another mans umbrella. Washington
Star.
Kind Lady Ito little boy with big
swelling In his cheek Poor little
chap, he has evidently got bad gum.
boil. Here are two sous; does your
tooth ache badly? Little Boy (remov.
Ing the "gumboil'D oh, no, ma am;
was just sucking big piece of taffy.-
Nos Loisirs.
The young widow of an old husband
inscribed the following words upon hel
dear departed's tomb: "To the mem
ory of Mathurin Bezuquet, who lef
this vale of tears at the age of 8!
years, IL month and 20 days, deepl!
grieved at having to leave behind hin
the most charming and faithful O
wives"-Pele Mee
Where are you Off to, in such hur
ry?" ITO the doctor for my husband
whats up with him" "He tells m
he has got hepatitls dyspepsia. rheu
matsm, enteritis, gastritls, appendl
citls, nephritls and cerebro-spinal-men
ingitls" "Holy terrors! Where did b