The Washington herald., 1907-12-19

trials 10 lift the rail, and much wasted
energy in gestlculating. one italian went
to the foreman with
We Gamma lift de rail; italian too
small Bring that rail over here. I tell
you commanded the foreman. Once
more the Italians tried, with the same
result and same report Disguised, the
foreman called two Irishmen. and ordered
them TO carry the rail. Without much
ado the sons Of Ireland lifted the iron
and placed it in position.
Pat, with a contemptuOus look at the
group Of Italians. blurted out: And, be
jabers, that is the stuff they make Popes
out Of %
Senator Jonathan Bourne Of Oregon,
yesterday made himself solid for life with
the newspaper correspondents. The fol-
lowing letter. addressed to Mr.. James D.
Preston, superintendent Of the Senate
press gallery. viii explain:
Dear Mr.. Preston: / am sending you FOR distri-
button among the newspaper correspondents. four
boxes Of Oregun apples. grown in the Hood River
alley II is our boast that Oregon apples are the
finest grown in the United States, and tr,s, that
the samples VIII convince the uewspaper men Of the
fairness Of our claim Very sincerely.
JONATHAN BOURNE. IT.
The apples came and were eaten. and
I the newspaper men were conquered. OF
the large Spitzbergen variety. they were
as ruddy as apples should be. solid every
one. and Of just that half sweet and half
tart taste which delights the palate OF
the apple lover.
II was rather an amusing sight. by the
way, 70 see tYo-score grown men sitting
about eating apples with the apparent de-
light Of children. And every man got
outside Of two at least before he stopped
In fact. the whole four boxes-or their
contents-wouid have disappeared in
short order had not Jimmie Preston es-
tablished Gordon % guards about them.
SO that some might be kept for the fel-
lows who happened TO be out when the
Spitzbcrgens arrived.
Representative Sydney E. Mudd. OF
Maryland. one Of the prospective members
of the House Committee on the District
Of Columbia, is wary Of the idea that a
man who aspires 70 reach or retain
public office can draw votes 10 himself
by donning an attitude of humility and
declaring that he does not want the office
when be is just itcIln TO get IT, or 10
IL
ton Is based on experience
When the Maryland Congressman was
a young man-and he went into politics
when he was only twenty-One years old
he was Invited 20 run for the State leg
isiature, but, thinking that he would i'm
prove his chances OF election by assuming
the attitude Of the fellow who thinks
there are better men than he. modestly
suggested that some older and abler man
be elected
The county convention came 90 and
young Mr.. Mudd was there. confident that
his strategic move would land him the
nomination. The time came for the vote.
and the youthful politician was already
revolving mentally the things he meant
L. say in his self-depreciatng speech Of
acceptance.
The votes were cast and counted before
he had finished his mental synopsis OF
that speech, and the result made il un-
necessary for him 70 use il. The delegates
had taken him az his word. and he was
Just three votes shy OF the job.
'The moral says "AIarse Sydney"
when he tells the story, is obvious"
There has been so much talk. in news
papers and otherwise, about the cutting
down Of the Crittenden tree in the Bo-
tanic Gardens that Mr.. Elliott Woods.
superintendent Of the Capitol Building and
Grounds. doesn't know whether he Is
going or coming. TO spare or not TO
spare the tree" that's the question with
him.
Mr.. Woods is a member Of the Archi-
tectural CLUB Of Washington. and every
year. about Christmas time. this club
has an evening OF social intercourse,
usually producing a skit Of some sort.
When Mr.. Woods received his invitation
he was Mortified 10 learn that the title
Of the skit was 20 be "WoOdman. Spare
That Tree"
He Immediately went UP IN the air. In
his latest improved dirigible airship. and
sent word TO the club that unless they
cut out the skit or changed the name
he would resign his membership. The
architects were in a quandary. They
couldn't lose WOOds-not much-so the
board of directors ordered .he skit tc be
rehearsed in their presence. No aIlusion
was made TO the subject OF the ChittenGen
tree, and ii was allowed 10 go on. The
superintendent was satisfied. and he can
be found at the old stand, with his
usual smile
Senator A. 3. c. Kittredge. Of South
Dakota. whose time expires In 1909. isn't
going home for the holidays 10 see to
his fences. though there are several
known breaks in them. He is going 10
New Hampshire TO attend a wedding
and witness the cementing Of pair OF
his New England friends You see,'
said Senator Kittredge, my troubles
can wait but there are other troubles
that have to be attended TO at once. and
this wedding IS one Of them
LOST. sTRAYED. OR sTOLEN-ONE JEFF
DAVIS. Senator from Arkansas. Last seen in
the United States Senate ON December H. 1907. His
triontc appearance. large in figure and wearing a
gray suit when last seen
This clipping has been circulated freely
around the Capitol for the last few days.
and the trust Representatives in Wash
ington are becoming alarmed at not be-
ing able TO locate Senator Davis It
was ruHOred that he had been seen chas-
ing the octopus across the Mississippi
River, but at the latest report this rumor
could not be verified.
1t has been suggested that Mai. Syl-
vester and his excellent corps Of Foultz-
Kemp finders be employed to make a
strict search for the missing statesman
Senator Kean sat through the entire de-
livery Of Senator Tillman's speech on his
resolution of investigation as TO the Pres
idents and Secretary CortelyOus author
ity for the issuance Of thu Panama bonds
and 2-per cent certificates When the
South Carolinian finished Senator Kean
crossed over to him, and, shaking his
hand. said: That was a great speech
Senator, and some of the ideas you ad-
vaneed were good. but your questions di-
rected to our side Of the chamber, re-