The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1907-02-02
TIE cAEvAssER's TALE.
BY MARK TWAIN


Poor, sad-eyed stranger There
was that about his mien, his tired
look, his decayed gentility clothes
that almost reached the mustard seed
of charity that still remained, remote
and lonely in the empty vastness of
my heart, Notwithstanding / observed
a portfolio under his arm, and said to
myself, behold. Providence hath de-
livered His servant into the hanos of
another canvaSser.
Well. these people always get one
interested. Before we'll knew how
it came about this one was telling me
his history, and / was all attention
and sympathy. He told it something
like this:
my parents died, alas, when I
was little, sinless child. My uncle
Ithuriel took me to his heart and
reared me as his own. He was my
ouly relative in the wide world; but
he was good and rich and generous.
He reared me in the lap of luxury.
I knew no want that money could
satisfy.
TN the fullness of time I was grad
uated, and went with two of my SER
vants-my chamberlain and my valet
to travel in foreign countries. Dur
ing four years 1 fitted upon careless
wing amid the beauteous gardens of
the distant strand, if you will permit
this form of speech in one whose
tongue was ever attuned in poetry;
and indeed l so speak with confidence,
as one unto his kind, for I perceive
by your eyes that you too, sir, are
gifted with the divine initiation. In
those far lands l reveled in the am
brosial food that fructi6es the soul,
the mind, the heart. But of all
things that which most appealed to
my Unborn aesthetic taste was the pre-
vailing custom there, among the rich,
of making collections of elegant and
costly rarities, dainty objects de vertu,
and in an evil hour tried to uplift
my uncle Ithuriel to plane Of SYM
pathy with this exquisite employ
ment.
''I wrote and told him of one gen.
tleman's vast collection of shells; an
other noble collection of meerschaum
pipes; another's elevating and re6n
ing collection of undecipherable auto
graphs; another's priceless collection
of old china others enchanting COL
lection of postage stamps and so forth
and so on. Soon my letters Welded
fruit. Ny uncle began to look about
for something to make collection of.
You may know, perhaps, how feetly
a taste like this dilates. His soon
became raging fever, though I knew
it not. He began to neglect his great
pork business presently he wholly
retired and turned an elegant leisure
into a rapid search for curious things.
His wealth was vast, and he spared it
not. First he tried cow-bel,s. He
made collection which filled five
large salons, and comprehended all
the different sorts of COW bells that
ever had been contrived, save one.
That one-an antique and the only
specimen extant-was possessed by
another collector. My uncle offered
enormous sums for it, but the gentle
man would not sell. Doubtless you
know what necessarily resulted. A
true collector attaches no value to a
collection that is not complete. His
great heart breaks, he sells his hoard,
he turns his mind to some field that
seems unoccupied.
Thus did my uncle. He next
tried brickbats After piling up a
vast and intensely interesting collec-
tion, the former difficulty supervened !;
his great heart broke again he sold
out his souls idol to the retired
brewer who possessed the missing
brick. Then he tried flint hatchets
and other implements of Primeval
Man, but by and by discovered that
the factory where they were made
was supplying other collectors as well
as himself. He tried Aztec inscrip-
tions and stuffed whales-another
failure, after incredible labor and ex-
pense. When his collection seemed
at last perfect, stuffed whale arrived
from, Greenland and an Aztec inscrip-
tion from the Cundurango regions of
Central America that made all former
specimens Insignificant. My uncle
hastened to secure these noble gems.
He got the stuffed whale, but another
collector got the inscription. A real
Cundurango, as possibly you know,
is a possession of such supreme value
that, when once a collector gets it, he
will rather part with his family than
with it. So my uncle sold out and
saw his darling go forth, never more
to return and his coal-black hair
turned white as snow in single night
"Now he waited and thought. He
knew another disappointment might
kill him. He was resolved that he
would choose things next time that
no other man was collecting. He
carefully made up his mind, and once
more entered the field-this time tc
make collection of echoes -
"Of what" said /.
Echoes, sir. His first purchase
was an echo in Georgia that repeated
four times; next was six-repeatel
in Maryland: his next was thirteen
repeater in Maine; his next was