Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-07-24
Humorist Returns From His
European Trip Much I'm
proved in Health
NO CLUB RATE ON JOKES
Mark is AffabIe as Ever, But is I'm
communicative to Reporters Who At
tempted to Interview Him-Again
4 Denies Ascot Theft-Tells of Pajama
i Parade on Board Ship.


dwarfs in the harbor to get out of its
road and be quick about 1t, DR.. Mark
Twain sat on deck burning a fat black
cigar and joshing the reporters who
had met him at quarantine.
Six weeks i'm England, where lords
and common folk the king at Wind
sor, and the bobby" on the street cor
ner had made much of Mark, made
him as clipper as cricket and as
happy ESQ he said) as he was when a
cub pilot on the Mississippi with his
first turn at the wheel He came back
improved in health, too When the
reporters scurried up the sides of the
Minnetonka at quarantine he lay back
in a comfortable steamer chair. smok-
ing and playing with Miss Dorothy
Quick, Of Plaint1eld, N. j., a bright
eyed girl of IA, who monopolized most
OF his time during the run. What with
his flock of reporters, the fdgety Miss
Quick, and the incessant peril of the
bushy mustache so near the swiftly
burning cigar, Mark had a busy time
until the Minnetonka revolved into its
slip.
Humorist CARRIED in White.
He wore the white flannel suit of in
Sensational fame-white double breast
ed coat, white trowsers, white waist
coat, ascot cravat, and white shoes
but this snowy costume was topped by
q large and i'll fitting black hat which
somehow didn't belong in the picture.
The touch Of brilliant color needed was
supplied by Miss Quick who wore red.
Mr.. Clemens cheeks were red and his
eyes bright Altogether he looked we'll
and vigorous.
On each side of him sat a dozen or
more middle aged women, who laughed
heartily whenever he met sudden
question with his slow drawl. Some of
them thought it shame the reporters
crowded around So saying:
Why, isn't 1t awful; it's really per-
fectly killing
An English woman, leveling a pair
of steel blue eyes thru her fearsome
lorgnette, remarked, quite emphatic
ally: ''Rully, it is singular how dis
tinguished puhsons enduah It,"
Mark is said to really like it, but 1t
cannot be said he was especially COM
municative. He philosophical on the
beauties and advantages of old age,
talked some about the most interest
ing happenings during his visit to Eng
land, remarked it was a libel, on the
Anglican to say he could not fatllom
the American joke. and admitted he
was a little alarmed when the Min
netonka ran afoul of big master on
July Is. When it came to making a
real, healthy joke or telling a story
Mark wasn't there. He explained. He
said his stories and jokes are salable
at 80 cents a word. He would like to
oblige, but he was an old man and
paying rent on house at Tuxedo. and
couldn't afford to scatter his jewels
haphazard.
Says There is Little to Tell.
He said he had prepared for an at
tack or onslaught by the New York
newspaper men when, years ago. he
prepared himself for the next world.
So much had been cabled over here
about his reception he thought there
was little left to tell. He had one
Of the most enjoyable times of his |
life, and felt years younger for 1t.
when Big Tim got back he said
King Edward was a good fellow" |
somebody remarked. What do you
think, Mr.. Clemens 2"
20, am not competing as a humor-
list with Big Tim" said Mark. II
might finish back of the flag. but King
Edward was courteous and pleasant
to me and he said a number of COM
plimentary things. He remembered
taking a walk with me sixteen years
ago at Hamburg, and when told him
often recounted that incident and
never told it twice the same way he
merely said he was content to leave
himself in my hands-that he thought
was CAPABLE Of being veracious
historian.
Again Denies Ascot Theft.
.sYou probably heard about the theft
Of the Ascot cup and crown jewels later
in Dublin. 1 was accused all over Eng
land of being the culprit. Since have
no character left. I seldom took the
trouble to deny it. merely told them
its, would never put the crime on me,
because he would have figured out in
if I had been on the job I
would have taken the safe as well as
the jewels and have stolen the grand
SIdnQ at AScOC DIS wei DIS ZIG SOIo cup
ut isn't fair, by the way, to say the
English are not on bowling terms with
q joke. I know, because tried them
first thirty-five years ago and got away
with it. They merely are a little
slow, but when things are explained to
them they comprehend the plot and get
the idea of The mechanism of the joke,
perfectly sure it isn't the kind that will
kick back or go off unexpectedly
do l ever take a Fairbanks cock
tail? Boys I'll take anything that is
offered me- Like the girl in show I
saw before going to England, I'll do
anything that won't make me blush.
However, 10 like to see anybody make
me BUSH
Tells Of Pajama Parade.
The plates on the starboard side of
he Minnetonka showed how hard "a
ick the liner got from the ship that
pumped 1t at o'clock on the morning
If July 15.1 That morning there was
scare among the passengers and a
parade in queer costumes on deck.
'lemens was little slow himself in
Dining the pajama parade, but when
lie arrived he led easily in picturesque
affects. A white bath robe-the same
1e wore when he walked across the
'Ieet in London from Browns hotel TO !