The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-02-24

I W s& | It is perfectly remarkable. to change the subject, how many people live on | percentages in New York. Mention l you intend to go shopping and perhaps one of your acquaintances will suggest l that you go with her. she has a per centage at certain shops. Your miiii- ner will slip you card of the dress maker who made the wonderful eel skin princess she is wearing, while the young woman who fits you at the glove counter whispers that she knows a dandy place to buy furs. And. to use a slang expression. They all get theirs"
 Of all the cantankerous creatures. give me riding school horse. A riding school horse has ideas. and
 that state of affairs Is fatal to the
 comfort of it's rider. In Central Park, New York, there
 are two bridle paths. one being the longer way around. and the riding school horses have a well founded aver
 sion 10 doing too much work.
 The other day two of us started off. and when trotting along. tee-uppity, tee-uppity, in the most delightful man.
 ner possible, To and behold. my horse
 bolts at the turning of the ways. and after bucking and giving d wild West exhibition suddenly decides to take the
 straight road home. and that quickly. As every time I argued 1t with him he
 up with his heels, I agreed with him promptly.
 rode back to the academy, took another horse and we started out again. You should have heard the jeers of the woman friend who was with mo She fairly rolled around in her saddle
 with merriment. You are a fine horse-
 woman she finally gasped. ito let I, lra xsyha hn iC ready. Tee-hee! Tee-hee"
 explained wrathfully that I did not wish to hit the "'ard 'ighway." But she kept on making fun of me.
 This time we started the opposite way around, and from the first 1t ap- peared that this manner of proceeding excited the disdain of her animal. He snorted, picked up his feet extra high and showed other evidences of extreme disapproval. Suddenly. biffety bang!
 turned his ears toward his beloved stable His rider immediately checked
 him and tas l supposed) followed me
 About mile farther on I began to mo-
 tice lonely quality about the chatter of my horses hoofs and when I refined
 up on a small hilltop I discovered ]
 was absolutely alone. lying mangled and dead.4 turned and rode like-well, we will pass up the simile! Small boys yelled as I clat tered under the bridge; a big splash
 of mud hit me in the eye. Still l rushed on. Nothing doing! No one in
 sight.
 In an agony of apprehension I dash
 ed Into the academy. Has Newport (the horse's name, I did not dare to ask for herb come in yet?' demanded. The groom looked little queer ''Yes. ma'am," he answered.
 And there stood the horse as meek as ! n fw,oA ur.alI | leaned my friend, white as a sheet. She gripped my arm fiercely Don t | you tell living soul. she gasped. He l wheeled twelve times right there in the
 road, and then he cracked up his heels,
 and let him take me homer | The next time we go out together we | shall not settle on any particular des-
 tination for fear that the horses may | decide differently.
 ] It is up to them!
 | There's a new type of woman abroad | in the nd and the close wad of q husband is responsible for her.
 She sends things home C. O. D. or on | the installment plan. In one case l actually know of wifey
 wanted a grand piano, cost thousand 1 dollars.
 Did she ask him for it? How innocent you are? Nay! Nay. | She bought 1t on the installment l plan-paid $100 down, and when he came home from little trip to Chi 1 cago, behold, the lovely plano in the
 parlor and $900 for him to pay. He growled some thing awful. but he 1 couldn't afford to send it back. He | paid.
 l What is more, he became impatient
 at the installments and paid. to use his | own language. for the whole blooming
 thing at once"
 | Only he didn't say blooming High ! ly elated with her success, the lady subsequently, procured an antique ma :
 hogany dresser and a set of sables in | the same way.
 Why doesn't her husband divorce ! her?
 Foolish you. While grooming under
 her cleverness. he admires it too much!