The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-01-12
WHEN MARK TWAIN FOUGHT A DUEL.

/ Mark Twain in North American Re-
view for Dec. 21)
In those early days duelling suddenly
became fashion in the new territory
! OF Nevada, and by 1864 everybody was
anxious TO have a chance in the new
| sport. mainly for The reason that he
vas not able to thoroughly respect HIM
self so long as he had not killed or
crippled somebody in a duel or heel
killed or cripple in one himself
At one time / had been serving as
| city editor on Mr.. Goodwins Virginia
| City Enterprise for a matter of two
years. j was 20 years old. l was am
bilious in several ways, but / had en-
| tirely escaped the seduction OF that
particular craze. / had no desire to
night a duel; had no intention of pro-
vOking one. i did not feel respectable
| but l got a certain amount OF satisfac-
ton out of feeling safe. i was ashamed
of myself: the rest of the staff were
ashamed of me-but I got along well
enough. / had always been accus-
toned 10 feeling ashamed OF myself,
for one thing or another so there was
! no novelty for me in the situation.
bore it very well. Plunkett was on
the staff; r. NJ. Daggett was on the
| staff. These had tried 10 get into
duels. but for the present had failed.
and were waiting. Goodman was the
only one of us who had done anything
10 shed credit upon the paper. The
| rival paper was the Virginia Union
! Its editor Cor little while was Tom
! Fitch, called the "silver-tongued ora
tor of WiscCnsin'-tha was where he
| came from. He tuned UP his oratory
! in the editorial columns Of the Union
! and Mr.. Goodman invited him out and
modified him with a bullet. I remem-
Der the joy of the staff when Good
mans challenge was accepted by Fitch
We ran late that night and made much
of Joe Goodman He was only "a
years old; he lacked the wisdom which
q person has at %. and he was as glad
| of being il as l was that / wasn't
| The major Joe Goodman's second)
stood Joe up straight: stood steve
ellis up fifteen PAGES away; made Joe
turn right side toward Steve cock his
navy six-shooter--that prodiCious
weapon-and hold it straight down
| against his leg: told him that that was
the correct position for the gun-that
the position ordinarily in use at Vir-
ginia City (that is to say, the gun
! straight UP in the air. then brought
| slowly down to your mani was all
! wrong. At the word "Oue," you must
raise the gun slowly and steadily to
the place on the other mans body that
you desire to convince. Then, after a
pause, Two. three, fire-Stop." At the
! word stop YOU may fire-but not
earlier. You may give yourself as
much time as YOU please after that
! word. Then, when YOU fire. you may
advance and so on firing at your le!s-
IRE and pleasure, If you can get any
pleasure out of it. And, in the mean
time the other man. If he has been
properly instructed and is alive TO his
privileges, IS advancing on you, and
firing-and it IS always likely that
| more or less trouble will result
Naturally, when Joe's revolver had
risen 10 a level il was pointed at
Stoves breast. but the major said: mo,
that is not wise. Take all the risk OF
getting murdered yourself. but don't
run any risk Of numbering the other
man. If you survive a duel you want
to survive it in such a way that the
| memory of il viii not linger along
with You through the rest Of your life
and interfere with your sleep. Aim
| at your mans leg: not at the knee, not
above the knee: for those are danger
! Gus spots. Aim below the knee: Grip
pie him, but leave the rest Of him to
| his mother
BY grace Of these truly wise and ey-
| cellent instructions. Joe tumbled Fitcn
| down next morning with a bullet
| through MS lower leg, which furnished
| him a permanent limp. And Joe los;
nothing but lock OF hair. which he
could spare better than than he could
new. For when / saw him here in New
York a year ago his crop was gone; he
had nothing much left but a fringe,
with a dome rising above.
/ There was nothing in past history, or
| In the worlds future possibilities, TO
/ make an editor out of suitable to that
community; SO there was but one
theme left. That theme was Mr.. Laird.
| proprietor of the Virginia Union. His
| editor had gone off TO San Francisco,
| too. and Laird was trying his hand ct
editing. ! woke up Mr.. Laird with some
| cCurtesieG of the kind that were FASH
| ionable among newspaper editors in
! that region. and he came back at me
! the next day in a most vitriolic way He
was hurt by something ! had said about
! him-some little thing-I don't ren1em-
Der what il was now-probably called
/ him n hOTsethief. or one Of those little
phrases customarily used TO describe
another editor. They were no doubt
| just. and accurate. but Laird was a
very sensitive creature. and he didn't
/ like it. So VIC expected a challenge
! from, Mr.. Laird. because, according 70
/ the understanding to the etiquette
! OF duelling as constructed and re-
! organized and improved b. the duelists
| OF that region-whencver you said q
1 thing about another person that he
didn't like ii wasn't sufficient for him
/ TO talk back IN the same offensive
/ spirit: etiquette required him to send