Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-08-15
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, why. Is Jones growing a beard?
, "Oh, | believe his wife made him i;
: present of some ties" Punch.
do you think we should let wOmeI
voteW "Certainly. Why not? We lei
them earn money all other ways"-
Life.
], 80 she's about to be married again
| DO you know who is the lucky MANI
"Ies, the dead one'-Detroit Free
Press.
The Man-None OF their relatives
VIII speak to them since their elope-
ment. The Girl-They ought to be u
very happy couple.-Puck.
Il notice your daughter dances with
such graceful, free movements" They
amt free; she takes reg'lar paid les
sons. baltimore American.
Little Girl (after domestic scene
with her mother The best thing for
us to do, mamma, is to agree to sep
aratlon.-Transatlantic Tales
Duff-Rowell believes In the eternal
htnes OF things. Cuff-Thats so; he
wouldn't run for car if he had a
walking suit on.-Town Topics.
Willie Green" said the teacher,
| you may define the word memory"
| Memory said Willie, lis what we
forget with."-Philadelp Record
DO you favor any particular school
of music?' asked the lady. Yes, in
deed" replied the young man who lives
in fiat. Il favor the pianissimo
school. l."-Puck.
Rector Showing a stranger the
church monuments) My grandfather
has slept in this church for eighty |
years Stranger-Is he living :-Yonk- |
ers Statesman.
Mrs. Neighbors-Are you aware that
your new hired girl is a somnambulist?
Mrs. Meadowgrass goodness, no.
She told me she was Baptist.-Chi-
cago Daily News.
Little Girl (telling of the Garden Of
Eden) Yes, Mummy, Adam and Eve
lived very happily there till the Evil
One came in the form of servant
Canadian Courier.
First Little Girl-When you grow
up are you going to advertise for a
husband? Second Little Girl-No; I'm ,
going to be widow. They don't have
to.-Harper's Weekly.
other-in-Law-Has the young man
who saved my life yesterday called
upon you yet? Son-in-Law-Ies, in-
Iced, he has already made his apollo l
yes.-F'liegende Blaetter.
Clara-You may not believe it, but !,
said 'No' to seven different men ,,
Turing the past winter Maude-Oh, .
lon't doubt it. What were they sell y
Daily News,
Mistress-Why don't you boil the
ggs. Cook-Sure, I've no clock in The s
itchen to go by. Mstress-Oh, yes, n
ou have. Cook-What good is it? It's Il
en- minutes fast-Philadelph In
uirer.
May l ask your father for your
and tonight, Miss Ketchem?' Cant g
ou wait until tomorrow night, a
gorge? | think Charlie Chumpley is u
Ding to ask him tonight. ."-Clevcland ~
lain Dealer. tN
Anxious Housewife (startled by ei
ash in the room below There. An &
her of my best porcelain tureens VI
me. Husband-Never mind, dear; It &C
Is stopped the cooks singing a,
nd Oregonian.
Voice from the parlor-Mary Ann,
d you get the milk for the children
ID Fido in separate bottles? Mary
ma'am. The yoce-lIave
dos milk steriliZed. Mary Ann
IS, ma a'am.-Cleveland Plain Dealer
Geek (who has already wearied the
ests with many songS) Now l will
IL you one more song and then go
me. Lady-Pardon me, but do you
-ach much Importance to the order
your program ?-Fliegende Blaetter.
DO you think you will learn to like
lr tilted son-in-law?" Il don't
ow," answered Mr.. Cumrox. Il cau't
ite tell where to place him in my
)ense account. He is neither a recre-
on nor an investment. ."-Washing-
Star.
'Irs. Scrappington (in the midst of
reading g)-iIere is an item which
S that full-grown rhinoceroses cost
900 apiece. Mr.. Scrappington
And isn't it q pity
t women can't wear them on their
s?-Smart Set.