The Cairo bulletin., 1907-07-09
JOHN SMITHS
YEAR

Il read a paragraph few days ag,
| to the effect that this would be a grca
year for John Smith," said the travel
ing man who was fixing up the cards
| in game in the smoker 1T didn't
appeal TO me.
AS most of you know, that's my
name | am not ashamed OF 1t, but
don't mind saying that would like
! to trade 1t of until that Jane stown
affair is over.
If we could have set Of expert
humorists to get up the jokes condi.
tons might be more tolerable; but for
everybody you meet to take a shy at
the family patronymic Is tiresome.
MY house thought 1t would be a
good card to have me on the ground
the day the show opened at Norfolk.
arrived the night before and put up
at convenient hotel. When | wrote
my name on the register the torture
began.
You're the first on the ground!'
exclaimed the clerk. who was evident
ly raw one, confess, however, that
didn't take his meaning Off the bat.
"'Of course you want the best In
the house. continued the mushroom,
with a smirk on his face. Then he
hammered it in. The Smith family
has the right of way here. he con-
tinued, and specially John
Ordinarily I'm pretty quick on the
trigger, but the wretch kept ahead Of
me. Before could unlimber he
handed out another.
Wen give you the Pocohontas
chamber, john pardon Mr.. Smith.
Front.
Before the bellhop made the plate
was at the bat. won't delay the
game. gentlemen. by quoting my own
words, but when | was through the
excresence behind the counter was
sneaking away as II he had squatted
on the hot end of an evicted hornet.
In spite Of apologies by the landlord
walked out of that tavern and put up
at boarding house where they don't
keep books.
The next day | dropped in at the
telegraph Office and asked IL there was
anything for John Smith The man
looked at me as fellow looks at a hat
on the sidewalk on April l. Quicker
than you get your cards | showed him
my watch containing my picture, and
name, and then threw down bundle
OF old letters to clinch the identified
ton.
" / am John Smith, | said, with the
words UNDERSIGNED, and ! don't want
any funny business
THE man at the window handed out
four wires to my address and said in
a quiet way that was rather soothing:
reckon you are John Smith all
right, but don't go round here with
the idee that you're the only one. The
twelfth went out jest ahead of you.
i thought 1t was time for me to do
the funny stunt. Seeing that had
trouble. said:
Then I'm No. 49,
AS / was going out heard the man
at the window say. You're liable to be
20 before you're much older
I'll owe that fellow one until |
meet him again. | am not the only
one of the name that is lodging 1t.
either.
THE last night | was in the town
went to the office of hotel. It was
crowded. While | was sitting and
an Office boy with telegram
pushed his way through the jam. call
ing out, Smith, John Smith! Smith, |
John Smith"
Nobody responded. The boy took |
the telegram back to the clerk. who |
ooked over at the line of occupied |
,hairs along the wall, and called out:
What's the matter with you Smiths
over there? | know at least a half |
lozen of you are of that name, and
here's telegram for one of you.
What are you afraid Off
Not a man in the line moved. |
later on in the evening after the mob |
lad scattered | sneaked up to the |
Jerk and asked him If anybody had |
laimed the message.
YES he snorted. The message
lag been read by six different Smiths.
Iaybe you're the right one. ! hope
o.
Il took 1t. II was for me. | apollo
,ized for my part of the trouble
aid in meek sort of way that
wasn't to blame for my name.
Course not snapped the tired
Jerk. but If you Smiths would only
et together and mark yourselves in
ONE way it would save a whole lot
I trouble in this hotel
Il left that town the next morning.
nd / shall be travelling away from it
S long as the exposition lasts. And
We burnt up all my cards"