The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1907-04-25

Never, No Never.
Proposition that Bachelors be Taxed
to Support Old Maids Secuted
With Scorn.

With Sc0rn.
The debating contests that are
held from time to time between the
higher grade students of the Graded
School are quite animated and inter-
esting. The subject of the debate
Friday, April 18th, was: Resolved,
That Bachelors Should be Taxed to
Support Spinsters. Master Alvin
Barnes, son of Mr. Alex I. Barnes.
spoke on the negative side as follows:
Mr. PRESIDENT: In discussing the ques-
ton whether or not bachelors should be
taxed to support spiasters, it is useless
for anyone to cry to prove that they
should
In the first place what is tax? And
what is tax levied upon?
Tax is an enforced proportional con-
tribution levied on persons, property or
income either by the authority of the
State, for the support of the govern
ment, or by local authority for general
municipal purposes. Taxes in the strict
er sense are direct when demanded from
the very person who it is supposed as a
| general thing will bear their burden as
for example poll taxes, land or property
| taxes, taxes for keeping carriages. We
hicles, horses, etc. And owning other
property bearing a cash valuation.
Nowhere in the record of our country
has it been shown where an old maid
has been taxed for being an old maid
Why is it?
Every free holder or voter in the United
States will agree in saying that there is
not a taxable value to be placed upon
these nOn-matrimonial female subjects.
To prove that they are not valuable:
After the intelligent gentlemen OF our
country have considered the entire female
race carefully and picked them over this
large element which is the leavings COM
monty known as old maids is the rem
nant left, for charitable organizations
and such like as the Daughters of the
Confederacy King sDaughters, Daughters
| of the Revolution, Temperance band agi-
tators and Colonial DANES.
Why Tax the esteemed gentlemen COM
monty known as bachelors to support
any such strong religious supporters as
these sacred beings called old maids?
1t has always been custom, but not
compulsory that this noted high esteem
ed unmarried gentleman has repeatedly
displayed his liberality in contributing
to this large host of artificiaries and an-
| clients for their encouragement and zeal.
such valuables as small boquets, June
| apples, ZuZus and other valuable con-
dictionaries. Such attentions as these
are to show to them their appreciation
and hearty sympathy for the work they
are doing in these many noble bands.
Along another line on this same sub
ject, where is the reason, or what right
is claimed that any gentleman should be
called upon to support or furnish supplies
to any being which possesses such mis-
fortunes as high temper, unruly tongue
and quick in action to use the broom
stick the fire poker and other dangerous
weapons which destroy the pleasure and
| mar the progress of any refined gentle
man?
My opponents may be quick to say
that there would be no old maids If the
bachelors would only propose matri-
mony. | appeal to all; use your com
mon reason; think, who would wilfully
place himself in SO grave an attitude as
this, which would ieopardize his life?
| Not only would an action of this kind
drive all pleasure and comfort from him
but likely might disqualify him to the
extent OF never being a tit subject to
| stand the examination for life insurance
which would be OF vast Importance to
him should he be captured through mat
| rimony with one OF these creatures.
My candid opinion is that the best
thing t. do with these old maids would
be to petition to the United States Con-
gress to pass an act to appropriate sui
fcient funds to purchase for each of these
lonesome and discOnsolate females of I'M
certain age set of false teeth, a wig and
such other artifciaries as might be
deemed necessary to pass them as Amer
| inoy 1xx,,tp and rao nd pf fho,o
subjects before some strong financially
religious body to be sent out all over the
country as book agents. agents for per-
fumes, extracts, Sloan's Liniment and
ST. Jacobs Oil
Now number of them would not be
physically able to engage i'll this active
work just mentioned. 1t would be well
| ii Congress in this same act would pro-
vide for this number who are not capable
for filling this employment: Each State
in the United States of America to pro,
vide large gallery or tent, employ the
best photographers in each State and
photograph each of these old maids sep
arately and make their pictures exactly
as they look and send them out to
all portions of the earth and sell them in
large quantities to be used as the best
comic valentines, one-half the proceeds
to be RENTED to these ladies of peculiar
ity for support, and TO buy artificial
limbs and other requisites adapted to
their requirements. | am sure that all
thinking people can readily see that there
is no excuse or reason for requesting old
bachelors to pay penny Of tax to sup
port this part of humanity known as
old maids Or spinsters.
My doctrine is the same as was held by
the patriots of old VIII stated that it