davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1907-11-14
Suffered For His Chickens.

In London as far back as 1871 city
ordinance was passed to suppress the
early morning cries Of the street buck
lxters. This law was SO severe that a
sperson arrested twice for the same Of
tense could be imprisoned for ten
years. There is one record Of man
lingering In prison for ten years.
when his time was up be was asked
what his crime was.
"For selling chickens that squawk-
ed" was the reply.
In the confusion of the trial the fact
was not brought out that the chickens
and not the man were responsible
for the din that aroused the wrath of
the disturbed citizens
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1907-11-14
THEODORE HOOK.
: 5tsf 49, SFkl4 49, @tFASt - - " ~ 49,
Stories Of the Greatest Practical Joker
Of His Day. fsts

Stories Of the Greatest Practical Joker
Of His Day. "@...
!, OF, the list Of geniuses the name OF
Theodore Hook Is near the top. AT
sixteen lie was making a big income
and enjoying great popularity. His
name was blazoned in the papers as
prodigy. his portraits were in the shop
windows, and he had free admission to
all theaters and other places of amuse-
nent. For years he was a social and
literary lion. (, HIS last words were ::
1T is only to the grave that | must be
carried IL my poor children were
safe would not care. I am suffering
under = constant depression Of spirits
which no one who sees me in society
dreams OFF, ..J,- .si-a .s4s ~ 4ls~@
Hooks practical jokes were the talk
of the day. His lntimates egged him
on continually, and there was nothing
he would stop at. One day they point
ed out to him as an appropriate speci-
men for his museum, a giidedkeagie or
enormous dimensions which had just
been erected over a grocer's shop. A
few weeks afterward while entertain
ing his coterie at dinner at one OF the
old taverns he ordered the game" to
be served. To the establishment of the
guests the waiter entered the room
staggering under the burden of a dish
Of unusual size. On uncovering it
there was produced the Identical eagle
which Hook as practical joke had
contrived to carry of. Merely for this
sort Of fun Hook used to pull off
knockers and bell handles, carry away
tradesmen's signs, overtum the boxes
Of sleeping janitors and do other devil
ment until he had roomful Of house
hold attachments and street orna-
ments. 1.I
One night Hook was passing a great
house where there was reception Of
the SWEETEST of the swells. Dinner had
Just been announced. He said to the
friend accompanying him: John, I'm
going in here to spend the evening. Call
for me at II o'clock" The friend was
Mortified. Said he in protest, "You do
not know these grand people. and you
are not an invited guest" That's all
right Cali for me at IL" Knocking
at the door, he gave his hat confident
~ to the lackey and was ushered up
stairs. Entering the drawing room. he
affected at first to have discovered his
mistake and poured such sallies Of wit
that the host and hostess actually
pressed him to stay for dinner.
At IL o'clock, when his friend called,
not knowing whether he would find
Hook at the reception or in the lock-
up, he was more than astounded on
entering the drawing room to see Hook
seated at the piano delivering some ex-
tempore poetry to a bevy Of the fair
est women in the gathering. Perceiv.
ing the entrance of this friend, the
practical joker, who had. not hitherto
divulged his name, arose and said:
'Tm very much pleased with your fare.
Your cellars as good as your cook:
Ny friends Mr.. Terry. the player.
And I'm Mr.. Theodore Hook"
The king, being present and full OF
enjoyment, took great fancy to Hook
and Immediately appointed him treas
urer to the island Of the Mauritius
with salary Of $4,000 a year.-NeW
York Press.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1907-11-14
AN ODD SUPERSTITION.
British Fishermen BaIk at the Name
of Graham.

British Fishermen BaIk at the Name
of Graham.
One of the most curious of British
EshermenS superStitions, the one which
perhaps to this day has the strongest
hold upon them, is that connected with
the name of Graham. No fisherman
will go to sea if he has heard this
name mentioned, nor will he do any
manner of work upon that day. He
viii refuse to sail in a boat with any
one bearing the name, and: a house
painter from Newcastle called Ora
ham. who had been Sent to do some
work in one Of the large houses, found
his life made so unbearable by the vii
layers that he incOntinently returned
to the town. leaving his work uncom-
pieted. The women. who bait. the lines
I'm the winter will unbait every hook
and rebait the whole length-the labor
of hours-if they hear it mentioned A
local tradeSman bearing this unfortu-
nate patronymic is never referred to
save as Puff" another, an 1nnkeeper,
is known as Lucky Bits No ration
al explanation Is to be found. On one
IF the most intelligent fishermen being
questioned on the subject he; laughed
the idea to scorn. Why,*his daughter
was married to a Graham. But, ne
added a strange thing happened two
years ago when he was off at the her
ring fishing and had mot been home
for some weeks. Having received
letter at Shields to say that his son-in'
law was i'll, he hailed a passing boat
which had come from the north. ask.
ing if they had heard how Jack Ora
ham was "And, wad We beleev't, ne
sooner had aa syed the words than
theor ives crash. and the mast went
over the side! None Of the crew
spoke to him for the rest of the day.
New York Post. ir' >-'>aa
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1907-11-14
Wanted Money Too.

Ned, walking with his father, saw
Rim give a beggar cents and inquired
into the matter.
II what did you give that man cents
for, papar asked Ned.
$50 that he might eat bread, my boy, y
said the father.
That evening at the supper table II
was observed that Ned declined to eat
any bread. in any shape. #
'Aren't. you, eating bread nowadays
my boy?" his mother asked.
|ENo mamma"
"|Why nOtT'
$50 papa'lI give me cents. "-Cleve'
land Plain Dealer.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1907-11-14
SUNDAYS
Fead these Connections

F6Hu CNtSe OOnn6Ct1OhS
The lis a m. trip out Of Washburn con-
meets at Ashland with the N. P. and Omaha
morning trims out. All theincoming morn.
ing trains at Ashland connect with the $50
a. N. trip for Washburn. The II a. m. ". P.
train connects with the 11.30 a. m. for Wash
burn. The p, M. trip out Of Washburn
connects atAshland with the afternoon N p.
for Iron River and Duluth and the Omaha
for ST. Paul The D. m. trip out OF Wash
burn connects with the evening south bound
trains at Ashland and all of the evening
trains arrive at Ashland in time for the rs
p. m, trip toWasnburn, tat.f4 9Us
CAPT. JOHN E. DOHERTY, Manager,
New Phone Nc 141 No. 2 Fifeld Place
Ashland Wisconsin.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1907-11-14

We have scured the agency for
Orino Laxative Fruit Syrup. the
new laxative that makes the liver
lively, purfies the breath. cures
headache and regulates the diges-
tive organs Cures chronic consti-
patton. Ak us about it. @ W.
Frost
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1907-11-14
Consolation.

Consolation.
"Steward, how long Will it be before
we get into the harborY'
"About an hour and half, ma'am."
"Oh, dear, I shall die before then"
"Very likely, ma'am. But you'll be
all right again when you've been on
shore ten minutes. MARINE Journal
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1907-11-14
Miuht Start a Forest.

A lady told a party of friends that
she had quarreled with her husband
and had planted a tree in memory Of
their first falling out.
<'What splendid idea" whispered
another lady in her husbands ear; eff
we had adopted that plan we might
have had by now fine avenue Of
trees in our garden"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1907-11-14
Blind to Them.

'Never be critical upon the ladies'"
was the maxim of an old Irish peer.
liable for his homage to the sex.
only way that true gentleman
e viii attempt to look at the faults
pretty woman is to shut his eyes"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1907-11-14
The Christmas schemers.

De chillun gittin' all SO good
Dey nanny stop en- say:
"I sorter 'fraid de angels
Gwine take 'um all away.
Dey DIES so still aroun' de house.
So sweet dar at dey playi"
But wen she study bout It
She know de reason whyl
Dey sorter see de Christmas lights
Twinklin' in de Sky,
En- de song dey hearts Is singin'
IN Chris mus by en- byi"
Atlanta Constgtution
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1907-11-14

When the baby is eros and you
3ol YOU will find
lAs iii weet, the well
zuoeh remedy or babies and child
rem. will quiet the little one IN a
short time. The ingredients are
printed plainly on the bottle. Con-
talns no opiates. Sold by Sweets
Drug Store.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1907-11-14
According to Rules.

Sentry-You can't leave. Soldier
GBuf I have the captains oral permits
sion. Sentry Gmportantly)-Lets see
4t!-II Motto per Ridere.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1907-11-14
- - I.t'-fFfY
A Substitute.

"You're rather a young man to be
left in charge Of drug store" said
the fussy old gentleman. "Have you
any diploma?' "Why-er-no, SIR" re-
piled the drug clerk, ''but we have
preparation of our own that's just as
good."-Philadelph Press.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1907-11-14

Dewitt's Little Early Risers are
the best pills made. They do not
grippe. Sold by Sweets Drug Store.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1907-11-14

Mark Twain says that England is the
home of wit and America is the home
of humor.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1907-11-14
Pneumonia Follows A Cold

but neverfollows the use of Foley S
Honey AM Tar. 1t stops the cough
hevls an( strengthens the lungs
and prevents pneumonia.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1907-11-14

Address County Clerk, Washburn, Wis.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1907-01-05
HAPPY IRELAND.

The regeneration of Irish nationality
is one of the miracles of our age. The
country Is becoming prosperous and
content. and even the Irish language
is being revived. 1t is taking the place
of English both In the mansions of the
rich and the cottages Of the poor.
A correspondent OF a London paper
says:
There is no modern miracle more
stupendous or more fascinating than
the rebrth of an ancient nation 1t 10
nothing less that this that Is now be-
ing wrought in Ireland. The people
are re-Creating themselves from WITHIN
They are recovering their collective
soul: they are revivine their racial con-
sciousness, they are being swept ana
lnvigorated by the return spirit OF es-
sential manhood. Compared with TINS
profound and penetrating revivihcatton.
equally blended of practically and
idealsm, no agitation In Irish history
not Feniansm, not the Land League, not
the Home Rule movement itsaf-is
worth in my Judgment, more than
moments thought"
The result is entirely due TO the
united efforts Of the people under laws
that permit them to develop the re-
sources Of the country and enjoy the
fruits OF their labor. There was n
time when the classes were at war and
the government pursued a policy Of re-
preston. Then Ireland sank lower and
lower in poverty and misery. Her stur-
iy sons and daughters left her beautl-
ful shores for more hospitable regions,
aud the depression became still deeper,
There was change The prayers OF
the oppressed We're heard. They were
given chance TO become owners OF
Tho land they tined. Good feelings We're
restored and prosperity resulted,
This Is an object lesson. without the
cessation Of strife there can be no last
Ing progress. Germany should note this
lesson. In her dealings with the Poles.
she might try liberation OF the Polish
language, and Polish pecullarltles. That
would bring about unity and harmony.
while harsh measures inspire hatred
ana revolution.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1907-01-05
RESEARCH AMONG INDIANS.

An expedition Of more than ordinary
interest Ia now on it's way to South
America, on a government steamer. 1t
consists OF Dr. w. c. Farabee, lnsiruc-
tor in anthropology. who will be the
leader and chief scientist of the expo
dition, and two assistants, l.. j. de Mil
hau and j. W Hastings. The physician
who win accompany the party is DR..
Edward r. Horr, who Is a graduate of
Yale. and of the New York College of
Physicians AND Surgeons.
The general object OF the expedition
is to gather all possible information
bearing on the origin, language, manner
OK life. physical characteristics, and
mental advancement OF the indian
tribes living on the head waters of the
Amazon and Parana rivers, on the
eastern side of the Andes mountains
An attempt will be made TO gather
complete collection of the implements.
utensils, weapons, clothes. in short of
everything that may contribute to
knowledge of the Indians. Reports and
collections will be sent at frequent In
tervals to the Peabody Museum,
Every scientific effort to penetrate
the mysteries that stand between the
present and the past history of these
continents should be hailed with salts
faction Fortunately bigotry no long
or prevents explorers from preserving
with reverent care whatever relics of
the past may still be found In out-of-
the-way places There is no danger
of repetition of the lamentable van
dalism that marked the advance of the
first explorers, by which the priceless
literature Of former ages was sacrificed
in flames or otherwise destroyed.
whatever is found now viii be pre-
served for the enlightenment of man
kind.
Explorations in Asia have resulted
in wonderful confirmation Of the his
torical books OF the Hebrew Scriptures.
For instance, fifty years ago, kayard'
the English explorer, uncovered the
beautiful palace of Assurbanipal the
last king of Nineveh. The sculptures
which adorned tao walls of the royal
chambers. the long historical inscrip-
lions upon stone, the tens of thousands
of Inscribed clay tablets from the pal
ace library. and the rich furnishings
have made him one of the best-known
kings OF the ancient world. The Greeks
called him Sardanapalus, The Sardana-
pnlus of the Greeks, and the Assurbani-
pal of the Assyrian inscriptions are now
known to be one and the same.
The capture of Samaria by an Assyr-
ian conqueror, briefly referred to In one
verse Of the Bible; the siege of Jerusa-
lem by Senacherlb the story of Bel
shazzar, the building of the tower OF
Babel. the story of the deluge. all have
been corroborated by information
brought 10 light by scientific expedi-
lions.
we believe the Book of Mormon VIII
ind similar confederation by scientific
research I'm these continents. 1t is a
fact that what is known for certain
about the origin and history of the In
dams points to the authenticity of that
remarkable volume. and the probability
is that this will become still more APP
parent. ms research proceeds along lines
of certainty. and not guesswork. We
hail every move in the interest of truth,
knowledge and intelligence.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1907-01-05

during the days of It's meeting, there
is always a percentage that, seeing tne
omen handed hospitality extended
them, partake OF the spirit OF the
people and conclude that It Is a pref
ty good place TO live, and so, IN time
make It their home.
salt Lake has more attractions, ana
can offer more substantial inducements
to men who desire to make
Investments or change their res
licences. than can either Of her
progressive slstor cities. 1t is
understood that the Commercial
club and others Interested are to give
publicity to this fact the coming year
with an carnestness not heretofore
seen. salt Lake as a Convention
city Is to be their slogan AS many
of the country's important conventions
ms can be induced TO come here VIII
be secured, care being observed not TO
invite any that are too large to con-
veniently and comfortably house ana
entertain, as proved to be the case
when tho National Educational assoc
citation decided TO meet in Salt Lake
When the citizens committee met with
the officials OF that organization and
found that they would have to make
provision for not less than fifteen
thousand delegates they realized fully
for the first time how big was the
problem Of being host for such null
titudc with our present hotol ana
roominghouse accommodations Some
day In the near future, when the
Greater salt Lake arrives, we are GO
ing TO be able 10 receive and properly
accommodate and care for this, the
largest convention OF the country as
IL can now almost any other that
can be named.
By all means make this a conven-
ton city. 1t Is the best kind of adj
vertisng we can get. Besides 1t will
give quicker returns than anything
else on the publicity mans calendar.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1907-01-05

is said to be about that OF California
but on this soil lives a population OF
about 100000 souls, and the annual
increase is about 100000. That proves
the necessity for looking out for room
to expand. That Ia vital to Japan. But
at present the Japanese government Is
not looking toward remote Islands for
opportunities of expansion, but toward
the main land of Asia. Korea has been
secured, and Manchuria will undoubt-
eddy be annexed under one pretext or
another, in the near future. II VIII
take a generation, perhaps. before Man
churla is Japanized, but 1t will be done
Both Korea and Manchuria are caph-
bic OF receiving enormous additions 10
their population. Korea alone has an
area OF $1,000 square miles, with popu-
lation OF about l0000.O0O. IL Is estlW-
ated that the extent OF her land unueI
cultivation is hardly more than S,lS0'VOO
acres. AT least 5000, 900 acres OF arap'e
land as yet lie unused. EspecldIly }"
the north OF the peninsula are the'e
great stretches OF VIRGIN forest, win
an extremely fertile soli, merely await
ing the axe ana the plough Inc ram
taIl is sulncient ana regular; the pns-
nomena OF prolonged oroushts anu
overwhelming noous 50 ruinous III Chi-
ma ana mana are unhnown, as are dIso
tue volcanic eruptions which so ire
quently disturb the Japanese dgrlcu4-
lurlst. ana the mIneral resources are
superior 10 those OF any neignporins re-
y.lon except Aiancnuria. in tne ldltet
province the opportunities are sun ials-
, er IMAM ia huIed. Already peioie '"e
END Oh the recent war me nuinuer Oh
Japanese settled in this region was
at least 1900, and the movement
tnitner has since received a very APP
preciaDle stimulus. Korea is naluraIly
the first field to be occupied on iarse
scale. but Mancnurid viii not be taf
behind In DoLn cases the settlement
OF the Japanese will undoubtedly have
the encouragement of their government
For this reason, ii for no other, war
with this country is out of the ques'
ton for a generation, or more what
may happen when Japan and China
have adjusted their affairs under a
common policy is another question.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1907-01-05
The Outlook.

There Is but one refuge against the
sadness which the years inevitably
bring, and that is the deep and abid-
Ing consciousness that all life Is one,
and that in the invisible mansions In
which the spirits of men have their
home there is greater safety than IN
the fortresses of stone they have often
built to protect their bodies. Those
whom we love go from room to room,
and we remain before the dying fire
and mourn as IL they had gone out OF
the house instead of passing Into an-
other of its many chambers. We miss
not only dear faces and familiar
voices. but places and conditions and
things to which we have grown used
during happy years. and are burdened
with a sense of impoverishment be-
cause changes are wrought in our sur
roundings: and we forget that immor-
tally Is in use. not in the things
about us, and that when they have
served their purpose of sustaining,
nouristing. helping us. that which was
enduring in them has a'Seady become
ours beyond the touch OF time or
change.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1907-01-05
NO FORT ABANDONMENT.

Utahns In general and Salt Lakers
In particular will be glad to receive
from Senator Smoot the assurance that
there Is to be no abandonment of Fort
Douglas. Better stiil is the news that
It is to be substantially improved in
the near future.
Happily for all concerned. the story
that the administration was to with
draw the troops and allow II to fall into
disuse. has proved TO be a canard wired
from Washington without authority.
II now seems reasonably certain that
Fort Douglas Is to be maintained as a
permanent post and that 1t Is to be en-
larged and its beauty enhanced. When
Senator Smoot yesterday called upon
Secretary Taft and Quartermaster Cen
eral Humphrles he was courteously In
formed by those dignitaries that there
was no intention to neglect or leave ii
unimproved on the contrary they in
formed him that an appropriation or
$685. had been set aside for Il, this
money to be expended during the cur
rent year IN the erection of three double
barracks the buildings most needed at
this time. While that is probably not
as great an increase In building accom-
notation as the public would like to see.
yet It means additional housing for SIX
companies of men, peace footing. or
three hundred and ninety in number
Besides It makes It very clear that I'M
Gle Sam Is determined to continue Fort
Douglas among the military stations
worthy OF permanent support,
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1907-01-05
A CONVENTION CITY.

lust now when vast deal of talk
is being INDUCED In about advertising
our city and state. II is we'll TO con-
slider the best method OF proclaim.ng
their greatness TO the outside world.
Divers means have been suggested,
and doubtless moro will be. There
can be no objection TO the raising of
funds in a proper manner and TO a
wise and judiclous expenditure OF the
same. But unless due care is observ-
cd II may resolve itself into case of
throwing money away.
There As one way TO advertise that
has demonstrated It's efficiency be-
yond WORTH n way that viii admit OF
no difference OF opinion by diverse in
terests. That should be made use OF
here. It Is TO make this convention
city. We have had some notable gath
erings here. But there have been too
few. For years Denver has boasted OF
it's proves IN securing national AS
sombles Of one kind and another and
has an organization known as the
Convention League. whose business
IS 70 be on the constant lookout for
every meeting of importance that may
be induced 10 come It's way. II has
proved pronounced success. Delegates
have come unconyinced ana uncertain
as 70 Colorado'a resources, and have
gone home singing the praises and
glory OF the Centennial state making
of themselves, in fact. workable adj
yertlsing agencies; and an because
they had been given western wel-
come ana had learned something Of
the riches and attractions % the
Rocky mountain region.
Los Angeles, too, has ever vlhgant
and wide-awake business mems clubs
that fully realize the value Of securing
conventions purely as an advertising
medium. It's citizens have come 10
know that aside from the money that
The delegates Of big convention spend