davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07
GONE WIVES ARE DIFFERENT.
Quiet cynieisn, or Good Honest Row
(which 10 the Better7

Most men," said tie man OF expert
ence, think It must be awfully nice
to have a wife who takes things al
coolly as Dave Potter's wife takes
them; but others, more discriminat
ing. prefer good honest row to her
style Of quiet cynicism. The way she
behaved the other day when she
found a letter In Dawes pocket from
a girl is an example OF her method.
"T don't see,' wrote this girl, how
on earth I can ever live without you.
Dawes wife read that gush. and q
lot more just Ike 1t, without ever turn
ing a hair.
well she said, quietly. that CIR,
10 fool. II she knew you as well az
I do she would be wondering how or
earth she could ever live with you
"And that, In the opinion OF the dis
eliminating few. cuts q whole lot
deeper than common, everyday rum
pus."
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07
ThA RAai RulAr.

The duchess of Roxburghe. who was
Miss May Goelet of New York, has
taken up the prevalent craze to collect
animals and she is building minia-
ture zoo at Floors castle. In fact, the
ducb--s. a masterful little lady, has
everytReAg she wants. One OF the
dukes tenants, wishing some conces-
zion, went to the castle and told his
GRAND to an old retainer, adding that
he would like to see the master in
person. Eth. mon." retorted the aged
servant, who Is not entirely reconciled
to the new order of affairs, there Is
only ae master In this hoose thas
times and that's no the duke. Ys
should see the duchess"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07
Love LAUGHS at Zero,

They sat out on the frosty porch,
samindful of the chilly blasts.
Dreamily she gazed at the stars.
aUp there" she said. Economically,
''is the great dipper."
sAnd down here" he laughed,
Hnatching another kiss. "is the great
SPOON"
And Cupid came out In a fur-trim-
med overcoat and shot another dart
Chicago Daily News.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07
WEAK, PALE, THIN
Or. Williams Pink Pills Restored Nsrs.
Robbins To Health and Also Cured
Her Daughter Of Anaemia.

Or. Williams Pink Pills Restored Wrv.
Robbins To Health and Also Cured
Her Daughter Of Anaemia.
Mrs. Jocie Robbins. Of 1121 Clar
St. Decatur, ILL.,, says: Il was weak.
thin and troubled with headaches. My
appetite failed SO that ! did not rel
ish my food. was unable to do my
work because my limbs panied me
SO and my feet were swollen. I got
numb and dizzy, my tongue seemed at
times to be paralyzed SO that
couldn't speak distinctly. My extrem-
tiles, when In this numb state, felt as
IL some one was sticking needles into
me all over their surface. Through
my shoulders at times had such pain
that couldn't sleep. Many times I
awoke with a smother1ng sensation.
When the, physician's remedies
failed to benefit me / began 70 look
for something that would. NY sister.
Mrs. Mcdaniel, of Decatur, recon.
mended DR.. Williams Pink Pills to
me and / at once purchased some. Z
was greatly encouraged when I saw
how they acted on my nervous condi-
ton and continued using them until
cured. am now able to attend to my
duties and have not consulted phys.
ician since.
II also gave them TO my daughter
who had always been weak and who
at this time seemed to lack vitality.
Her cheeks were colorless and she
was thin and spiritless. She had an.
aemia and we feared eonsumptisR, be.
cause every time she went out doors
il 1t was at all cold or damp she
would take cold and cough. But DR..
Williams Pink Pills brought color
back to her cheeks and strength to
her body"
DR.. williams Pink Pills are sold by
all druggists, or sent postpaid, on re-
ceipt of price, so cents per box, six
boxes for $3.50, by the DR.. Williams
Medicine Co., Schenectady, N. Y.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07
His Preference.

The great medium made few mys.
terious movements with her hands In
front of the cabinet.
What spirit would you care to see
now?" she asked.
IF it's all the same to you" re-
piled the spectator with the red nose
make It little spirits of frumenti."
Milwaukee Sentinel.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07
How He Won.

aDid you ever hear how Murdoch
md his wife metz"
me"
s6he had stopped In the street to
lPfuk up a forlornIooking cat, and 1t
dug It's claws into her fingers. She
screamed, and Murdoch. who happen
cd to be passing, rushed to her, put
lbs lips 10 the wound and sucked the
Jp0tson out. From that there sprang
up between them a friendship which
H6pened into love-"
~Um. Then 1t may be said that he
WIN by q scratch" Chicago Record
Heruld.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07
Just a Way She Has.

Ever notice TT" queried the man
Who asks questions on the installment
plan
sDid I ever notice what!" queried
90 wife OF his bosom.
THAT woman never considers an
IUtiole OF dress stylish unless she
Aeas uncomfortable In it?" continued
Che mere man.-Chicago Daily News.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07
No Danger.

II am afraid / have been indiscreet.
have been praising Mrs. Writeups
book highly to that man over there
talking to her, and If he repeats what
said she'll think it fiattery for my
own ends"
Don't worry. He won't repeat any.
thing flattering to her. That's her hus
band. Baltimore American.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07

In the neighborhood Of Lake Tchad
Africa, the other day, six negro troop.
ers, commanded by corporal, armed
with carbines only, successfully de-
Tended little mud fort against SOC
warliks Tauregs, and when the Tau
regs gave up the attempt and retired
the troopers sailed out, and pun
ished" them.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07
Quite a Difference.

DIR. Story, the late principal of Glas
cow university, taking holiday in
the country once, was met by the min
lister Of the district, who remarked:
"Hullo, principal! You here? Why
you must come and relieve me for a
day" The principal replied: II don't
promise to relieve you. but might
relieve your congregation"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07
Keep Your Face to the sunliaht

Keep Your Face to the Sunlight.
know an old man who has had .
good deal of trouble and many losses
and misfortunes, but he started out in
life with a firm determination to ex.
tract just as much real enjoyment
from 1t, as he went along. as possible
not in dissipation. but in wholesome
recreation and fun. He has always
tried to see the humorous side and the
duty Of happiness.-o. 8. Marden In
Success MAGAZINE.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07
Too ApplicabIe

why doesn't Mrs. Gossip invite
Witticus to any more of her entertain
ments?"
Because she asked him to help her
out with appropriate decorations for
that last big fete she gave and he sug.
gested a lot of rubber plants. ''-Balti.
more American.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07
View Masculine.

my sympathy" remarked Mrs.
Shopperton, who had been reading a
heavy magazine article, lis with the
downtrodden masses"
Mine isn't" growled her husband.
why not?" queried the alleged bet
ter half Of the matrimonial outfit.
Because" he answered, they
ought to know better than to all try
to reach the bargain counter at once"
Chicago Daily News.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07
Diplomatic.

Il never permit my clients to go
away thinking they have been robbed"
remarked the hold.up gentleman.
How do you manage it?" queried
the ordinary pickpocket.
Before Diminishing Them" explained
the compulsory relief agent, Il call
their attention to the fact that they
have merely made concessions in the
interests Of peace. "-Chicago News.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07
state or ONO. crrY OF TOLEDO. / a.,

SrATE OF OH1o. Ctrr OF AohkDVsS an.
LUCAS CourY.
FRANK J. CHENEY makes oath that he 10 senicf
partner of the arm of +. j. CHENEY Co., doing
business In the City Of Toledo. County and state
Aforesaid and that said firm win pay the sum OF
ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for each and every
case CATARRR that cannot DO cured by the use OF
HALLS CATARRH CURE. .,,u~,nr
Sworn 20 before me and subscribed In my presence,
Inns On u.' "a 4. ". GLEASON,
sEALt NorARY PUBLIC.
Hairs Catarrh Cure 10 taken internally and actt
directly ON the blood and mucous surfaces OF TINS
system. Send for testimOnials: free. ,. -
Sold by all Druggists, 15c.
Take HaITs Family Pills for constipation
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07
NJ aturaiIy,

I'm told that in some parts o,
South America women are car con
ductors."
Then I suppose they are all beaS
ties"
why suppose that?"
ITO get the job don't they have to
be fare ds?"-Baltimor American
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07
IRIS BENEFIT MADE APPARENT.

4
aNo. sir" the boys father said, with
a good deal of severity, 'you can't be
excused from school simply because
Huu have a sore thumb. I've made up
my mind that you've got to be edu-
Sated. You can't see the good Of 1t,
but can. II I only had my life to
I've over, tell you I wouldn't miss
x single chance to get the benefit Of
schooling. It's the greatest thing in
Die world. oan see that now, though
cDuldn't once"
aAin't you educated. pa?"
aAil the education 1 have I picked
W m-selt l realize. though, what
education Is worth to a man"
"And didn't you go to school at all?"
Nope never had"
rhea I'll go."-Chicago Record
Herald.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07
Comfortable.

sWhAt Ia your idea OF comfort.
SAie fortune'" asked the ambitious
yusfh.
Une." answered the man Of expert.
snoe. 'that Is big enough to buy you
Everything you want and not big
dAosgh 10 attract tho attention of the
spand jury."-Washingtoa Star.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07
Who Thew Were.

Mrs. Winks Cat dinner in great no.
teD--Who are those men at that table
in the corner?
Mr.. Winks-Don't know. What arc
they talking about?
Baseball, horse races, prize fights,
and so on.
"Oh, they are probably city Off.
cials."-N. Y. Weekly.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07
Logically Queer.

There is one odd thing about wild
o speculations."
What Is that!~
That mea pursue them with such
ddgged determination" - Baltimore
American.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07
The Cry of the Season

4 want TO open an account with
Your house" ...
ayes, sir, but won't you first shut
the door?"-Baltimore American.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07

1t is said of homemade troubles
that they are very like homemade
clothes. they never fit well, and they
generally last longer than otherh--
Spurgeon.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07
Keeping Up the NAVY.

1They ought TO name the next bat.
ueRhip Rumor."
why such q name as that?"
+, Because then 1t would be easy to
k9bp her afoat Ameyi-
ca,1.
WHY do you have everything in
yaHr wIfe's Rame?"
Y don't We have our children In
MY uaMe"-Chicago Record Herald.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07
At the Musicale.

Enthusiast-Don't you think the chi.
arc oscuro was fine?
Nonmusical Guest-Well, now to be
plain with you. l liked the chicken
salad better.-Baltimore American
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07
Enough.

IT cannot sing the old songs,
l cannot play the new"
He looked at her in ecstasy.
"Oh. darling, l love you!"
Judge.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07

Are we getting crazy?" asks the
London Mail.
We don't know, but you probably
are taking everything your friends
recommend for grip.-Chicago Record
Herald
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07
Latest.

MIR. A-Dear me! Why is the audi
ence wearing automobile goggles in.
stead Of using opera glasses?
Mrs. L.-Why, my dear, this is an
automobile drama.-Chicago Daily
News
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07
Strictly Business

'DO you guarantee that there are
40 broken hearts In Ills matrimonial
bureau?"
: Ooh, no; but then, we always allow
Tor breakages. "-Baltimore American.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07
All Out of Patients.

A ro6ed N. ID. was once Jailed
Fur trick with the scalpel that failed
From hts practice debarred,
He took 1t quite hard
'rm all out Of patients" he walled.
-xudga
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07

Garfield Tea, an absolutely pure and eft.
fective laxative Made of Herbs. Take 1t
to purify the blood, to overcome constipa:
ton and to eradicate rheumatism and
chronic diseases.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07

Idleness and pride tax with heav
Ter hand than kings and parliaments
II we can get rid of the former we can
easily bear the latter-Franklin.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07
The Effect.

Hes got very ohesty."
fYes; wouldn't even look at a house
mai hadn't a swell front"-Baltinore
American.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07

MIRO winslow's Soothing Syrup.
For childreA teething softens the gums reduces M
ANIMATION. alays pain, wind COLI. 25c bottle.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07

In Weymouth, England, the oratorio
of The Messiah" was given by q
graphophone before an audience of
1000 people, and was pronounsoa q
complete musical success.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07

FILES CURED I'm To II DAYS.
PAZO OINTM ENT Is guaranteed to cure anv case
Of Itch ny, Blind. Bleeding Protruding Piles In
sto IL days or money refunded. bOc.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07
HEREDITY IS NOT ALI.
Physicians Now Believe Less In Trans
mission of Disease.

Medical men are coming round to
the view that It is the personal his.
tory that is of primary Importance, or,
In other words, that q mans own man.
ner of life, his record Of health, and
his circumstances should be more
carefully considered than TIE illnesses
that his ancestors died Of. DR.. Rabag-
liati. q medical examiner for insurance
companies, who Is well known In the
profession which he adorns, and of
high repute in the north Of England,
has devoted much thought to this
question Of heredity from life inBur-
ance point of view. In his opinion It
Is not 50 much disease that is trans
mitted from ono generation to an.
other. but organization, or human
ity." as he expresses It. Amy member
Of the human family may suffer from
any disease to which humanity IL sub
1ect, and when an individual so suffers
It is the cause OF the ailment that
must be inquired into. Exposure to
this or that set OF conditions brings
varying results. II the body In exposed
to one set of conditions II will take
on govt: II to another, consumption;
II to third. cancer: and so on.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07

Hubby (shivering)-It's bitter cold.
Why don't you button up your jacket?
Wifey-The idea! Why, IL / did
that no one would know 1t Is lined
with fur-Brooklyn Eagle.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07

Sheer white goods, In fact, any fne
wash goods when new, owe much Of
their attractiveness to the way they
are Numbered, this being done in a
manner to enhance their textile beau
ty. Home laundering would be equal
ly satisfactory IL proper attention was
given to starching, the first essential
being good Starch. which has sufficient
strength to stiffen, without thickening
the goods. Try Defiance Starch and
you will be pleasantly surprised at the
improved appearance of your work.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-03-07

Many mans idea of hospitality In
TO b-'ng other men home and have his
wife cook for them.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1907-05-20
BURGLARS SCARED
FROM THEIR JOB
Missoula County Treasury
Vault Entered by Clever
Crooks.

MISSOULA, Mont, Nay 1e.--Cracks-
men shattered the door to the treasur,
ers' vault OF Missoula county, at an
early hour this morning, but before
they secured the money almost within
their reach they were frightened away
The treasurer Office in the court
house is within rs feet of the county
jail and the, sheriff's office. The ex-
plosion was heard by the prisoners in
the Jail, but owing to the fact that the
deputies were engaged in arrestlng sew
eral suspicious characters elsewhere in
town, nobody in authority knew of the
attempted burglary until later.
The burglars used nitro-glycerine
filing the crevices about the huge door
with soap. The explosive shattered the
frame about the door so that it would
have been the work of few minutes
to pry it off. and to secure several
thousand dollars just inside. There is
no inner safe within the vault.
1t is supposed that the return of the
sheriff's deputies with several prisoners
frightened the robbers into leaving
their work unfinished. The officers
passed by the window of the treasure S
office, and when they arrived at the
Jail the prisoners inside gave informa-
tion that an explosion had occurred a
few minutes previously. An investiga-
tion showed that the county's strong
box had been blasted. but no trace was
found of the burglars.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1907-05-20

NEW YORK, May 1o,-Fifteen horses
are announced as probable starters for
the $4,000 purse of the Brooklyn handi-
cap TO be run at Gravesend tomorrow
and the handicappers are at a loss to
choose favorite from among a half
dozen OF these. so evenly are they
matched. Accountant. the big money
winner Of last year; Tokalon. the South
ern mare which won the event last sea-
son, Go Between. Dandelion, Superman,
Salvidere. Nealon and Arctic are among
these. Superman. James r. Keeues
Commando colt. last Thursday stepped
a mile and sixteenth at Belmont Park
for that distance. with 1l2 pounds UP.
The Brooklyn handicap is at a mile and
a quarter. and in II Superman is asked
TO pick up only 95 pounds. Miller will
ride him.
Accountant. Go Between. Salvidere and
Dandelion are looked upon as the horses
most likely TO force Superman to extend
himself, IL he is 10 bring the rich prize
to the Keene stable for the fourth time,
Salvidere was wonderful performer last
year, and though he will have his first
VIII have numerous supporters among the
bettors. Salvidere is asked 10 carry 107
pounds He has been trained on the
track over which the race Will be run,
and is thoroughly accustomed to It. Sew
ell, though speedy, is believed 10 like
shorter course. Arctic can go the route,
but he Is a slow beginner, and In a field
like that which will face the starter to-
morrow, getting away at the flash of
the barrier means much.
The probable starters, with their jock
eyS and weights follow
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1907-05-20
APOSTLE WHITNEY
At THE TABERNACLE
Mormon Orator Says His Church
Believes in Peace and
BrOtherly Love.

Apostle Orson T, Whitney was the
speaker at the regular Tabernacle ser
vices Sunday. In the beginning of his
remarks the apostle alluded to the fact
that the day was peace day, and said;
There are no people under the sun
more interested in the peace movement
than the Latter-day Saints. No reli..
gion points more clearly to an ere. OF
peace as the consummation Of all things
than the religion of the Latter r-day
Saints. The reign Of brotherhood,
peace and good will was one of the
purposes for which the religion called
Mormopism was established
Apostle Whitney then. quoted from
the interpretations, of the Revelations
of st. John by Joseph Smith. founder
Of Mormonism, to support his point,
and from that branched off into gen
eral dissertation on the subject of John
the Revelator having foretold the es-
tablishment Of Mormonism, and the Ml-
innate coming of the millennium He
closed by predicting that the millennium
is about at hand.
John r. Winder of the first presiden-
cy presided over the meeting. The
opening prayer was by Arnold II.
Schultess, and Seymour B. Young pro-
nounced the benediction.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1907-05-20
MUNICIPAL AFFAIRS
TO COME UP TONIGHT
Council Will Pass Ordinance
Relating to Certain Street
Railway Tracks.

At the regular meeting of the city
council this evening an ordinance will
be presented and passed giving the
Utah Light and Railway company the
right to lay tracks to the Oregon Short
Line gravel pit in order to enable the
company to get In material to do the
work contemplated. This ordinance
will be absolutely independent of the
new franchise Of the company, which
will come up later.
Councilman Martin will move a re-
consideration Of the ordinance limit
ing the amount of city garbage to be
hauled by city teams, which was killed
by Councilmen Wells, Nulver and 9th
ers at the meeting last week.
The mayor has vetoed the measure
urged by Councilman Mulvey relating
to the amount of the license fee to be
paid by druggists for the privilege of
selling liquor, The ordinance fixed the
fee for licenses In the business district
at S400 and in the outside districts at
5000. Mayor Thompson was of the
opinion that this was illegal. as the
minimum fee that can be fixed by law
is S400.
An ordinance will be introduced to
further the city Improvements now in
hand and to be undertaken. This will
recite and consolidate the various steps
alreadv taken in the matter.
There are q number of other matters
to be considered, which will make the
meeting an interesting one.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1907-05-20
BUILDING UP
SALT LAKE CITY
DISCERNMENT AND GOOD TASTE
OF THE LADIES A MARKED
FEATURE.

There s nothing quite so noticeable
and attractive to a traveller in a
strange city as handsome women tasti-
ly attired. Their walk, their robust
rotundity, signs Of health and happi-
ness, appeal to him; but the face and
eyes usually attracts the most search
ing glance. When they are not prop.
erly covered with up.to-date headgear
a void of expectation follows. Banks ,
millinery store are past masters in put
ting. the finishing touches on excellent
femininity in Salt Lake. From a
small shop two or three years ago their
establishment has grown to an almost
national prominence. 1t is patronized
by the tourist, the actress, the elite of
criminating best-dressed ladies Of Salt
Lake City. Long experience in the
largest exclusive importing and man
ufacturlng houses in New York, Chi
cago and st. Louis has qualified the
management of Salt Lake g leading
millinery store, at l16 South Main
street, to secure the newest and best
at the least possible cost laid down in
Salt Lake City. For while the ladies
in this city preferred the glamor of
other things surrounding them when
they bought their hats. The passing
of this idea covers a short space Of
two years. The excellence Of the
Banks establishment brought about
change which is measured by an al.
most tenfold increase in the volume of
their business. The benefits have been
shared by customer and dealer alike.
In almost the same proportion that
sales were increased, prices were dc,
creased, due to enlarged capacity for
buying. The quick turning Of stocks
has kept apace with the changing
styles, so that no motive was left but
to build elegantly on Che most ap.
proved modern business principles.
The effect on Salt Lake, as a CITY.
is this-there are no more elegant, mod.
ishly dressed ladies in any American
city than are Banks customers. and
they predominate IN numbers in Salt
Lake City.
IT is an historical fact that where
Is found the most attractive, loveablc
women is where the man takes off his
hat to stay while, Hence Banks is
60 Building up Salt Lake" by making
the women more attractive.
Whence she came'' is often an
swered, meditatively, by the hat she
wears. The lady wearing a hat from
Banks's owes nobody an apology for
either her hat or place Of abode.