Sequachee Valley news. (Sequachee [Sequatchie], Tenn.) 1896-1952, 1907-06-27
D0FETCHIT'S NONSENSE.

OF SuCn DlsntsS as snuuiu come before
it, with Bill Coughlin in the chair
Bill calls the rool of officers.
'Bill Scootem, president. "
Here.
Frank Burton, Vice-P President. "
Here.
George o'Hooligan, seckertary,"
Here. +"
Tom Donating" treasurer"
Here"
John Putnam, lamp liter "
Fright here, boss
Pete Gumblee, floor sweeper"
Here.
John Cooley, Absent. "
Joe Wilkins. Absent
Johnnie Toothache, "
Here.
Now, l myself, Dofetchit, am ago
| ing to give away all the secreats of
this lodge, then everybody will know
as much about it as they do now.
Every member of this order is COM
PEELED to bring with him at each meet
ing, quart of whiskey, brandy or
wine. SO they open the meeting and
take up the pass word, which is More
Brandy" and seein which everybody
is qualified to stay. Then they open
up the bottles and drink and tell lies,
until all the contents are gone. and the
man who tells the biggest I've takes
the highest Office in the lodge.
Gofetchit is in said Office at present
and it is believes he will hold it down.
Johnny Scootum held it long time;
also Tom Donothing. They had lit
tie confusshun the other mite. Tom
| nnpOthino xuoc triad hxr tbo l,l,.o r..
steelin l5c of the funds, him bein tres
urer, but the lodge excused him this
time with the understanding if he does
so anymore it will cost quarts of
yaller corn.
Then they had another little stir up
the other mite. When the lodge was
first organized, they only met once a
week, then it got to be . times week
and now it is 3 times a week. Go
fetchit wanted them to meet six times
a week and he could not get no 2nd,
and he got as mad as the duce, and he
got up and made a speach to all the
members
He said: "Now, brothers, address
you as men of the |. O. R. Here me.
While feel ever so rich from bein
here and bein able to stand alone and
address you tonite (hic) it does me
good to (hic) meet you here 3 times a
| (hic) week, but tell you rite now, l
want to (hic) know if (hic) times
| (hic) week wouldn't be better than 3
times a week. Now, fellow brothers
(hic), hear me again while | address
you tonite, | am for more meetin mites
as that means more brandy Dom
you see the pint? (hic) You say you
are goin to run me for legislature next
term. | (hic) promiss and agree if
elected to the Legislature that | will
| (hic) make several changes in these
parts. | will catch ole Spain's heels
and (hic) slam her branes out over AT
RIGA. will (hic) catch ole Japan and
Russia by the (hic) nap of the pants
and (hic) bump their heads together
till there (hic) branes spill out like a
quart of brandy in the Independent Or
der of Founders { Hoowee! Hourah !
Hoopee! Ha no ha for Gofetchit !
yet, my friends, that S not all. |
will take England, Urope and Crate
Britton and swipe them out of (hic)
existence. | will make Germany sorry
she was every horned I'll take ole
turkey and throw it on top of Greece
and lay both Of them in frunt of the
white house at Washington so all the
|. O. R. S can see the greasy turkey.
Listen to me. Here me. | am Go
fetchit, one of the greatest men ever
trod the face Of Whitwell Why should
l not be elected to the legislature
Here me. | will (hic) make the saloon
keepers fling the brandy to each and
every man who votes for me each and
every day while am in Office fur
Their more promise that | will stop the
license on all whiskey and force every
man to make it, use it and sell it to
minors and times will be better here
in these good ole states where we are
now under bondage, bound in chains
and hickory withes | shall (hic)
have the Tennessee and Mississippi and
Ohio Rivers flow with whiskey in
stead of water. Oh, just think how
nice it would be to have this govern
ment run by (hic) men of the l. 0.
R., men of (hic) high moral character
and men who will stand up for brandy
and rites. We want to be free men and
learn our Cummin generation what a
good brandy is and what it is made for
(hic) Treat me now and I'll treat you
when l am elected. Now, brothers, |
don't want to detain you too long,
(hic), but study this matter over and
put me up in (hic) G., and you will
be (hic) benefited by so (hic) doing.
thank you now for your kind tention
and we will now proceed to close this
(hic) lodge"
And as they closed they sangN song
which was as follows:
BRING A BOTTLE.
We part to meet Friday mite
Bring a bottle
Well be sad until that mite,
Bring bottle.
Come now brothers, one and all,
Bring a bottle.
We must answer to our call,
Bring bottle.
We should never, never fail,
Bring a bottle,
Or We'll be like an ole cows tall,
Bring a bottle.
Good mite brothers,
Bring bottle.
And then the ole red noses will stag
ger off to their families at 3 o'clock in
the mornin and tell their wife the clul
held little late last mite. owing L
some big man being present
| L could give all the mass words