Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-06-28
On. lg05, NC b0ULs. MerrlIl Company D
XIV.
SOME STRANGE LAPsEs OF A
LOVER.

LOVER.
But before there was time for me
to get distinct impression, that ugly
shape of cynicism had disappeared
1t was shadow | myself cast upon
her" l assured myself, and once more
she seemed to me like a clear, calm
lake of melted snow from the noun
tains. Il can see to the pure white
sand of the very bottom" thought |.
Mystery there was, but only the nys-
terry of wonder at the apparition of
such beauty and purity in such a
world as mine. True. from time to
time, there showed at the surface or
vaguely outlined in the depths, forms
strangely out of place in those unsul-
lied waters. But | either refused TO
see or refused to trust my senses. |
had a fixed ideal of what a woman
should be; this girl embodied that
ideal.
IF you'd only give up your cigar
cites" l remember saying to her when
we were little better acquainted,
you'd be perfect"
She made an impatient gesture.
DON'T" she commanded almost an
grily. you make me feel like hypo-
critic. You tempt me to be hypocrite.
Why not be content with woman as
she is-a human being? And-how
could I-any woman not an idiot-be
alive for twenty-five years without
learning thing or two? Why should
any man want it?"
Because to know is to be spattered
and stained" said |. 81 get enough
of people who know, down town. Up
town. want change of air. OF
course, you think you know the world,
but you haven't the remotest concep
ton of what it's really like. Some
times when I'm with you, I~begin to
feel mean and-and unclean. And
the feeling grows on me until it's all
can do to restrain myself from rush
ing away"
She looked at me critically.
you've never had much to do with
women, have your she finally said
slowly in a musing tone.
Il wish that were true-almost," re-
piled |, on my mettle as mao, and re-
sisting not without effort the impulse
to make some vague confessions
boastings disguised as penitential ad-
missions-after the customary mascu-
line fashion.
She smiled-and one OF those dis
quieting shapes seemed to me to be
floating lazily and repellently down
ward out of sight. "A man and
woman can be great deal to each
other, believe" said she; can be
married, and all that-and remain as |
never met-more hopelessly strang- |
ers."
There's always a sort of mystery"
l conceded. Il suppose that's one of |.
the things that keep married people
She shrugged her shoulders-she
was in evening dress, l recall, and
there was on her ~hvs Sain that in
tense, trans t>7~a. blush tinge one
sees on the Low Snow when the sun
comes out.
Mystery" she said impatiently.
There's no mystery except what we
ourselves make. It's useless-per-
fectly useless" she went on absently.
You're the sort of man who, If
woman cared for him, or even showed
for him by being frank and
human and natural with him, he'd pun
Ish her for it by-by despising her"
| smiled, much as one smiles at the
efforts of a precocious child to prove
that it is a Methuselah in experience.
IF YOU weren't like an angel in
comparison with the others I've
known" said l. do you suppose l
could care for you as do?'
saw my remark irri'Atsi her, and
fancied it was nW vanity that was
offended by my S.s,ssiief IN her knowl-
edge of life. hadn't suspicion that
had hurt and alienated her b. slam
ming in her face the door of friend
ship and frankness her honesty was
'orcing her to try to open for me.
In my stupidity of imagining her not
human like the other women and the
nen had known, but creature apart
ind in a class apart, l stood day after
lay gaping at that very door, and won
lering how could open it, how pene-
rate even to the courtyard of that I
-estal citadel. So long as my old {
fashioned belief that good women
we're more than humaa and bad