The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-04-28

| 4 fIV worse; but he ,s too burdened down with the weight of his theories and his umbrella to enjoy the sunshine Matrimony isn't all storms and 1t isn't all fair weather; and you can no more tell one day what the domestic atmos- phere will be son the next than you can tell from day to day what the weather will be. The people who get along best are those who aren't looking for storms and trouble. but who arc just willing to take one another as they happen to come as we do Christ mas gifts. or A table d'hote dinner. or q vaudeville show" 4
 And" rejofned enthusiastically, who enjoy variety for yariety's' sake But added. there may be some gen. eral rules. some vakue----"
 There are.' interrupted Kitty. just as there are four seasons; but you've got to have lived through the seasons before you really appreciate them or understand them. A Hottentot can read description of snowsterm without having the slightest idea of how it feels. and an Esquimaux can study up on simoons without Knowing how they will strike him. A man can read ev- erything that ever was written on wo- men and yet not know enough to keep his feet off a girls frock or to avoid arguing with his wife when her mouth IS full. of Bins And a woman cnn study treatises on men until her head aches and then act like a fool the frat time she meets one"
 And that" declared, fiourishing my cane. 'is where the practice comes in and the theory goes out"
 Yes. agreed Kitty "the theory has got to go before the practice comes in. or you'll get horribly muddled Every woman IS a different geometrical prob lem with different answer. Imagine Courtship College graduate sending his wife violets on Monday mornin. q when she wants them for Tuesday night. or sthoughtfully buying her a purple. hat when she wants one to match yellow frock. or sitting in the parlor penning her poem when she wants nim to come up stairs and hook the back of her dress"
 'or fancy lady expert on love- I murmured feeding her husband on angel cake or health food when he is dying for beefsteak, or singing him an ara, when he wants to take a nap just because such things are recom- mended in the book of rules"
 Yes" sighed Kitty Think of go- ing into matrimony with nothing but d stock of ready-made ideals!
 And having them shattered in the divorce court" I added.
 Managing man or woman" went on Kitty. Ifs like, managing a baby The high-browed lady who conducts the mothers meetings may be an ex- pert on nurseryology and may know all about prepared foods and the train ing or the infant mind; but she doesn't Know the first thing about putting in pins or taking button out of the mouth; while the East Side mother with nve children hanging to her skirt can cook her husbands dinner with one hand and nurse three cases of measles and one of whooping-eough with the other, without the tremor of an eye lid. It isn't education and 1t isn't theory and 1t isn't brains that make one successful in motherhood or matrJ- mony; it's the little gift of knowing how"
 And what!' 4interpoIated. And when-that the gods bestow indiscriminately," finished Kitty, and bestow oftenest 1t seems on otherwise unendowed people. The less ia man knows about letters. the more he seems to know tbout women: the less he knows about making money. the more he seems to know about making love; the less he has of honor and intelli- gence, the more he gets of feminine adoration.'
 Well, the less a woman knows of the ologies,' I retorted, "the more she sems to knows about using her eyes and putting flower In your coat lapel; the less fiuently she can talk art, the better she can talk pretty nonsense; the fewer talents she has, the better husband she gets"
 And" finished Kitty. waving her sunshade dramatically. ''one week of actual practice in love making is bet ter than all the theories that could De