Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1907-06-30
A PRISONER 5 2EVERIES
EDITOR SMALL, WHILE cooPED
UP IN HOSPITAL REVIEWS
HIS POST

|sEniTOR SMALL, WHILE cOOPED
UP IN HOSPITAL REVIEWS
HIS POST
Dear old Tribune am still in st.
Alex. (McKenzie) hospital, where in
surgents never enter and angels soft
" tread, fitting from room to room
carrying sunshine, good cheer and
happiness to heart-sick, pain-racked
people, where am undergoing a rig
i'd training to reduce my avordupols
from the heavy to the welterweight
class Of prize-fight SO can be:
handled easier by the athletic DOCTORS
while on the dissecting table. This
happy event will be pulled of, so the
attending physician gleefully an
noupces, within a day or two, and it's
a long time between days, when you
can't sleep nights. never knew be-
fore that was carrying around In
side Of me SO many useless parts cf
anatomical industry. After the con-
sultation Of the distinguished examin-
ers it was decided that, being q news
paper man, the subject under examin-
alton didn't need gall bladder, and
that whatever stones that might be,
lying around in it would be extracted.
| Part OF the liver will be taken out,
and replaced possibly with bacon, SO
i will know what I will get for break
fast every morning hereafter. The.
present lights will be supplanted by
a modern electric plant. The diogno-
sis revealed the startling fact that my
appendix was all right, hut abnormally
formed. It was lying close up to the
surface like a sunfish on warm day,
and each doctor took punch at it
until they made me sore, as well as.
4 it, and now / have the appendicitis.
When they get through with me the
chances are there won't be enough
left to make decent photograph.
But, then, the collection of rare speci-
mems will be largely augmented and
science will be benefited some per
haps.
| il cruel fate should decree that re-
main on earth after this ordeal / win
see you again, and you can keep on
saving the papers requested today.
Otherwise, / will meet some Of the
staff at least, either in the sweet
beyond, where the paving question
has long been settled and placed be-
yond the veto power Of Mayor Duis,
IscE-in that neither world. where the
roasting st your neighbor has been
transformed from ffhe~ back-bitIng cit.
izen OF earth to the husky Goai HEAVIER
Of the dark and dreadful whenceness
OF the terrible where.
e Now. there is Leslie, the patriarch
al producer of the weekly pay roll who,
for over quarter Of a century, has
made the ghost walk regularly In the
Tribune Office. This is undoubtedly
the greatest feat OF financing known
in the world meeting the heavy pay
roll OF newspaper. In a small plea
town and never making miss for
thirty years. The writer used to
help Leslie dress the ghost up every
Saturday and start it on its weekly
pilgrimage. This was years ago. When.
| Jimmie Foley was running around
bare-footed and fighting his way
| through the public schools of Bis
marck, little dreaming that he would
ever be physically strong enough to
hold SO many different kinds Of Jokes
at the same time, as have lately been
thrust upon him, and which require
/ such exhaustive toll to conduct. AS
chief scout to cashier Leslie and his
depleted exchequer, in those early
days. used to wonder IL Jimmie
i would ever be able to get back when
he took bunch Of Tribs. out to sell
-he was SO delicate and frail. s
When Leslie finally does dry IN he
4 VIII pc carried upward in a cloud If
dust, similar tp E1fjah's chariot Of IRE
1 and st. Peter will turn the door over
to him. And this will forever bar the
pearly gates to anyone who ever toll
ed on the Tribune, and unless all Of us
4 beat him to It, all win be lost. Our
only hope lies in the fact that, az
4 Leslie has already lived 1000 years,
4 he looks good for a; few hundred long
er, and before he gets ready to relieve
i st. Peter, We may be 50 securely fixed
n good positions that he cannot Dust
Il us. sS,ssS3 Il
a day the Bunker Fill ana Sullivan
mill was destroyed Harry Orchard
was at Mullan. eighteen miles from
a Wardner. They located him ID .
poker game and one Of them. Pal,