davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-02-28
no SENSE OF MUMOR
4 Scientists Criticism e 4 couals
Book For chiIdralA n

Book For chiIdrea
Charles Monselet, a Frunehman of
letters. published a comic 'sclentinc
dictionary for the benefit &C children.
who found no little amusement In bis
odd accounts OF things in the animal
world which were perfectly familiar
to them, but which were described In a
rather fantastic way in ~ Monselees
book.
The editor of a certain scientific jour
nal, however, was much surprised and
shocked at II. Monselers Ignorance
when he took up the book, and he
wrote an article about Il IN his paper.
which ran as follows:
"A certain N. Monselet has publish
ed dictionary for the use Of children,
which contains definitions showing the
most extraordinary ignorance. such as
the following:
'Sardine-A little fish without any
head which lives in OIL
AS If fish could live without a
head and In oil!
another definition:
Parrot-A bird somewhat resem-
bling the pigeon, generally green when
it is not red or yellow or blue. Cocka.
toos sometimes live to be a hundred
years old, except when they are STUFF
ed, and then there is no limit to the
length Of their life
Nov, 1t happens that the parrot IL
not pigeon at all and meyer has the
colors that NJ. Monselet gives to him,
and, in short, this NJ. Monselet knows
no more of natural history than he has
grains Of common sense
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-02-28
THE MALE opERA AAT.
Why It Rises Superior 60 Any passlns
Fashion DietatSs.

why " Kisses Superior TO Any paBslnN
Fashion Dictates.
Men generally protest against the
changes of style in hats. and one of
the sex has written to Che New York
Mail this complaint:
Why attack as a "collapslble. many
named pretender" the opera hat. or
chapeau de claque2
have such a hat and also silk hat.
in which respect think differ from
most Gothamites. Whenever have
an option wear the opera rather than
the other. It's more convenient.
At the theater or opera you can car
~ it better on your between the acts
promenades. II there Is no rack for
your hat under the seat you can tuck
1t in your overcoat ana put It on the
floor under you without destroying II,
as you would do with q silk hat.
If you put your hat In the rack I'M
der your seat and then rise eAd stand
close to It to permit q late conner h
pass an opera hat suffers no damage
A silk hat would be either rufisd or
crushed. f9i7G
The opera hat looks as well at ali
times as the silk hat and requires
much less care. Indeed, I think It
looks better. The glossy surface Of
silk hat like the glossy bosom Of 4
stif white shirt, is an uncomfortable
survival Of the time when men wore
polished helmets and breastpiates.
There is so much reason In the opera
hat that men of discrimination will
continue to wear 1t, the style Of the
moment regardless.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-02-28
a bond Of svn,nst,,y.

While the new maid tldled the room
the busy woman kept % writing. .
"Do you make that sIIioutsof pour
own headY' asked jana - s-f
yes" said the busy woman.
NY said Jane admErtngty, you
must have brainsy'
"BraInsw sighed the woman de-
spondently. ooh, Jane. haven't an
ounce of brains" I eh ~ -
For a moment Jane regarded her
with sincere commlseratiol.
"oh, well,' she said presently. don't
mind what 1 say. 1 aia't very smart
myself.."-New York Press.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-02-28
FREIGHT DERAnIED.

Train No. 4 over the connellsvIlle
division came into this city several
hours late last night. Most Of the
delay was caused by a derailed
freight car on the main track at Mt.
Braddock. Pa.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-02-28

Three Germans were sitting at lunch.
con recently and were overheard dis
cussing the second marriage 0f a mu-
tual friend when one Of them remark.
ed:
'T'n tell you What. A mm What mar
ries de second time dou't deserve 70
have lost his first vhife.--IAfe.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-02-28
a,,I;l. One
RAILROAD.
Schedule effective Nov. IS, 1896.
CGARX9BuRG, ". va
Daily, Z Daily accent Sunday

Schedule effective Nov. IS, 1906.
CGARX8BuR9, ". va
Daily. Z Daily except Sunday.
Sunday only.
MAIN LINE, EASTBoUHD.
oumberland, Washington, baltimore,
1859 am, 1855 pm, ss:S6 pm.
Arrive s12:6S am, sp:SB q N, sS:4e
arSfson Accom-, Depart .Io:ao am,
x7:a7 pm. Arrive s7:2s am. xs:2s
aEAIH ETNn, wEsTBoURD.
PGrfersburg, Cincinnati, L0ulgviIle ana
81. Louia Depart 1883 I'm; ss:6b
.S:st i pn., g !s9ss p. Arrive $50 an
Parkersburg Accom-, Depart s7:as an.
xS:2b pm. Arrive, s10:a0 am, x7:07
pm, z8:46. pm
". va. . PITTS, N0RTRBoUMD.
counellsvt1lo and PtktHburR, Depart
x6:1b q m, x1O:S0 q. m. Arrive x1:1o
pm, x11:06 pm.
PAirmont and 1koEg&nsow1, Depart
xs:i5 O. m, x1o:30 an, x1:o0 pm,
E1:Ob p. N. Arrive x1.4e am K9.1g
w. VA. = RI1ES-s 8OuTHBouWD.
Wegton. Depart x6:0o am, xIe:SO an
xl1:2b AM. Arrive xe:iE am, xs.BS
an xz:lb p.rn-s x.1:0b pm.
Rtckenss Depart x6:O0 an, xA:1S PA
Arrive xtsbb am, I7:06 p.m-
MachWoo1 ana intermediates points, De-
part xS:eo an. xl1s2S am. Arrive
xz:lb pm. x1s0B pm
webster spEiaEss Depart x11:ss an.
WEST Va. SNORT IUn,
WeW Aartlnkvtt1e and Wheelin9 Aooon-
Depart SIS an, x2.tB pm Arrive
x11s3b an s1:aE pm.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-01-02
GLENOENNIN HAS BAD FIRE
In Which One Man Was Burned
To Death.

Glendennin, w. Va, Dec Go
James Mccullough, aged thirty
seven years, was burned to death in
fire here that completely destroyed
the Hotel Young and inflicted big
damage on the business section of
this town. The fire originated from
an explosion of natural gas in Nc
Cullough's room at the hotel and il
is supposed that he was killed from
the force Of the explosion and his
body atterward burned to a crisp.
The dead mah was plasterer, com
ing to Glendenuin from near Pitts.
burg, where he has wife and two
children who were notified of his
death last night,
Tim flames quickly spread to the
general store of ;. III. Robinson
and Brother, intlicting a loss of
about $4,000. The Ladies' Aid
building occupied by Lloyd Lawson
sustained loss OF $500. j. ii
Belcher's barber shop was burned
with a loss of 1000. The loss at
the Hotel Young will Approximate
$4,000. All the losses sustained
by the parties who suffered from
the fire are partially covered by
insurance.
A thrilling escape was made from
the hotel by w. A. lively, Hiram
Snodgrass and p. II. Camp, who oc-
cupied an adjoining room to the
one where the explosion occurred
by Mccullough. Their escape shut
off by the stairways, the three lodg-
ers dropped from the second story
window of their room to the ground
in safety. Neither were injured by
the drop.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-01-02

ing injustice Our sister state
across the river long ago shelved it
and adopted the salary system, and
il has no regrets to bother it tor
doing So West Virginia is among
the few remaining commonwealth
TO hold on to this fossil law, and it
is about time to relegate it. Among
the many excellent things cOntemp
lated by the next Legislature, by
the leaders of the political party
that IL in the ascendancy, there is
not one of them that will give as
much general satisfaction to the
people, that will do much toward
stronger eDtrenching the Republi-
can party in power, than to abolish
the fee system from Alpha to
Omego, and put all officers on an
adequate salary basis. Tyler Star.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-01-02

The abolition of fees for County
Officials will be urged at the coming
session of the Legislature and the
substitution of straight and reasona-
bic salaries. This question was
strongly urged few years ago, but,
while nearly everybody admitted
the justice Of such a measure, it
has been somehow lost sight of for
some time. The passage Of such a
law few yeare ago would have
saved the state and counties great
sums, which have gone 10 swell the
purses of the county officials Fees
Of all kinds could also he cut down
in nearly every instance and thus
effect a direct saving TO the pocket
books of individual taxpayers.
Along this line the Parkersbure
Dispatch-News very appropriately
says
"The fee system has become a
thing Of the past in most of the
states; only their oldest residents
can recall the time Of its flourish.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-01-02
WILLIAMSON,
Min0o'S County Seat. Is Again
Visited Blu d Destructive Fire.

The city of Williamson was visit
ed by another destructive fire
Christmas morning, resulting in
DAMAGE that will probab'y reach
sixty five hundred dollars.
The fire started in the quarters
of the Williamson Baking Company.
III the Odd Fellows building, and
completely destroyed that building
The fire spread to the Randolph
jewellery store and the post-ottice,
and both these buildings were de
stroyed.
1t was reported that two men
lost their lives In this fire, but this
report has not been verified.
This is the third disastrous fire
that has visited Williamson recent
lV.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-01-02
4 Poor ORGAN.

Dam(s) the bile. That's what your liver
does II IT'S torpid. Then the bile overfiows
into the blood .polsons your system, caus-
Ing sick headache, biliousness, ssllow skin,
coated tongue. sick stomach, dizziness, faint
Ing spells. etc. Ramon's treatment OF Liver
Pills and Tonic Pellets strengthens the liver
and makes II do Its own work Prevents and
cures these troubles. IL aids doesn't force.
Entire treatment 25c ~ Bloss Drug store, Ce-
redo, and A. J. Williams. Kenova.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-01-02


The trouble between the Presi.
dent and Senate clique over the
discharge Of the 25th infantry has
developed TO a very unusual and
possibly serious situation. 1t has
been many years since a President
of the United States was in a posi-
ton where even threat of impeach-
ment would be dare d against him,
and while there is little idea that
the breach between the President
and the Senate will have any such
eventnalitv still that possibility
has been limited at. The whole
thing is a matter of politics. Sena-
tors Foraker and Penrose, both
have a large colorod constituency
and the Y are bound TO talk for the
effect which II will have in their
respective states. The chances are
that if Foraker and Penrose were
left alone they would talk for the
benefit OF the Congressional
Record and then let the matter
drop. But at this point another
factor enters the equation, aud
that is Bailey of Texas. Bailey
hates the President politically and
personally. with a whole. souled and
consistent hatred that Is rather uu-
usual in that gentleman. 1t i ex
pected that when he comes back
after the holiday recess, he will
take advantage of the situation to
vent his personal spite during the
discussion of the Foraker resolution
Most of the other southern members
would he glad TO let TIE matter
drop, because it i, neither good
politics nor to their personal liking
to keep the race question stirred up
at fever heat as 1t now is. More
over il is suspected they secretly
approve the President right or
wrong.
The President has announced his
intention, if measure is passed
reinstating the discharged troops,
of vetolng the same. 1t 1t is pass ed
over his veto he says that he will
take the matter to the Supreme
Court for final settlement and
those who know him best say that
he is fully 'apable of doing so. As
the President and Senate have
theoretically equal powers it would
thus be left to the Supreme Court
to decide whether or not the Presi.
dent as COMMANDMENT. Chief of the
army had exceeded his rights,
Ammunition is being accumulated
on both sides. The President has
already sent Mr., Purdy, of the
Department Of Justice, to Texas to
make thorough investigation into
the facts Of the case, and the com
mittee on military affairs in spite of
the large amount of work already
cut out for it, bias been looking ul
presidents end the law in the case
with view to meeting the issue
when 1t arises, as it is almost Ger.
tain to do. The fact that this is a
short session stands against deliber
ate action, but there Is bound to be
much talk and the country will be
treated to test of strength between
the legislative and executive
branches of the government such as
has not been witnessed for gen.
Grafton past.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-01-02
PLAIN AND FANCY

pears to the above notice of sale. has
gwen bond in the penalty of 5000 with
surety approved by me, as required by
the decree of sale in this cause.
Given under my hand this the 18th
day of December, 1905
CHAS. f. WALKER,
'"'7-W Clerk
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-01-02
Senator Whites Good Luck.

Our genial Senator-elect, Hon.
"SoP' White, is having all kinds of
good luck recently.
First, he was nominated without
and then elected by an
overwhelming majority.
Last week the stork delivered a
new girl baby at bIa home, and now
bis friends are insisting on making
HIM President of the next Senate.
Mountaineer
Mn. CArNreE says an income
tax makes liars. Not exactly,
merely gives them fresh oppor-
tunity.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-01-02
WE have received from HUI Max

We have received from Hu Max.
well, of Morgantown, a pamphlet
setting forth the needs Of forest
protection in West Virginia and
suggestions for a forest law. Mr..
MaxwelPs suggestions are good and
the Legislature soon TO convene
will doubtless be asked 20 enact a
law along the lines mentioned in
The pamphlet.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-01-02
@. v. DODGE
Painter, Paper Hanger
and Decorator,
KENOVA, WEST VA.
Notice Of Annual EleGtlon.

Notice is hereby given 20 the stock.
holders Of the First National Bank of
CeredO, w, Va, that the annual meet
ing Of the stockholders Of this bank, for
the election of Directors TO serve for the
ensuing year, and for such other bust
ness as may be necessary. will be held
at ITS banking house In Ceredo w. Va
Saturday, January 9th, 1907, nc no
o'clock, "a M
Dated Ceredo, w. Va, Dec. 3. 1905.
w. 3. FERGUSON,
odeclW Cashier
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-01-02
r + VI n AN rs
IN LIGHT EVENING sHADEs

Our Holiday business left us
with a mum Der Of remnants I'M
wool goods in light evening shades
delicate colors including light
creams. These can be used to adj
vantage for infants saques, Kim
onas, etc, etc We have measured
aud priced these remnants aud
these will he found on special
counter in our dress goods part
ment.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-01-02

|. DID the Vest Virginia Argus die
u th. West Virginia Editori 81
ciator2 We have not seen a
tte lormer for long time
-, heard Of the latter for
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-01-02

BY a vote of 100 to 1873, the
House of Representatives refused
to increase from $4,000 to 81, 500
the salaries of senators and mem.
bers and delegates of the house.
However, by an overwhelming vote,
they increased the salaries Of the
vice President, the speaker of the
house and members of the Presi-
dents cabinet TO $4,000 each.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-01-02
CHOICE OFFERINGS
IN SKIRTS
ONE-FOURTH OFF

Secures pick and choice of these.
Remembe that seventy-f five cents
looks Gust like a dollar to us for
these goods during this sale. The
saving is yours.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-01-02

Charles j.. Walker, Clerk OF the
Circuit Court of Wayne county, West
Virginia, 10 certify that j. IT, Meek
Special Commissioner, whose name ap'
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-01-02

Tb sg wi" be the nusd9n sale that
the
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1907-01-02

GOVERNOR Dawson has named
January 26tb, 1907, as the day for
holding special election for elect
The Washington herald., 1907-10-14
Killing Had THE INDIAN sign
Noisy" JOhnny's Monologue Put
DetrOit's Hitters Up in the Air.
Ty Cobb, the Great BatSmRn, One
Catcher's Witty Chatter.

Chicago, Oct. I3.-"Noisy' Johnny King
is credited with having had more to do
with the slump in the batting Of the
Detroit Tigers in the three games played
here than anything else one might at
Iibute it to-
so you are the slugger who has been
driving the ball out OF the lot. are your"
he said TO Cobb the first time that young
man came to bat Tuesday. We'll. say.
if you get q foul you may consider your
self lucky"
Some one said you remarked that you
would bat $50 against the Cub pitchers"
said King That's too much weight for
a young fellow like you to carry Then.
besides, what would you do with ali that
money you would get if you won the
series?'
Cobb is said to have lost his temper at
one time, and that was just what King
had been trying to make him do. When
Bill Coughlin came TO bat King asked
him if he had ever been a prize fighter.
why do you ask that?" queried Cough
lin. Because you have regular Terry
McGovern crouch on you. Don't you
fight?" went on the Cub catcher
You don't ever expect to hit the ball
standing CrOuChed in that way, do you?
EveTs says he can steal a base on you
every time he tries" King is said TO have
remarked TO Catcher Schmidt, the first
day he caught. and came TO bat. They
better not try il, answered Schmidt
"Evers says ne is going down to second
the first time he gets on first Noisy
Johnny said.
All this talk is said to have worried
Schmidt, both at bat and behind the bat
Crawford was another one King tried
TO rattle at the bat. Swing on the ball
just as hard as you like think Overall
likes you pretty WELL said King, when
the heavy slugger came TO the plate
When Shaeffer marched up 10 the plate
King told him that some Of his old
sweethearts were at the game. all eyes
fixed on him. Schaeffer Is something of a
kidder himself, but King kept up his
crossfire until Schaefer was easily re-
tired.
The Washington herald., 1907-10-14
READY FOR BALL GAMES.
Hickman d White Team Plays Trim
ity at National Park.

hickman n White Team Plays Tim
ity at National Park.
The first of a series Of three baseball
games between the Hickman & White
team and Trinity, which won the cham
pionship OF the District. viii be played
at National Park this afternoon. starting
at $50
The Hickman & White team can be
properly styled an all-star aggregation,
as ii Includes two players in major league
baseball and number of minor leaguers.
Charlie Hickman late Of the Nationals.
and now member of Comiskey's White
Sox. viii captain the team, and DOC"
White. his team mate. viii twirl one OF
the games and play in the outt1eid. IN
addition 10 these there is Larkin and
Martell, formerly Of Georgetown, and now
In the Tri-State League; Billy Keane.
Johnny Beall. Sam EdmoHst0n. Tommy
cantWell. Roy Thomas. "Cy'' Macdonald.
and Bill Rapp. all OF whom learned the
game in Washington and have since
branched out into minor leagues.
The champion Trinity team has been
considerably strengthened by the acquisi-
ton Of outsiders, and should give the
professionals a hard game Trinity will
line up as follows: Mess third base;
Clark, shortstop; Hughes, second base;
King. first base. Kraft. catcher. Bishop.
center field; Bryan. left field; Bradley.
right field. and Kerr and Gallagher pitch
ers.
Ladies accompanied by escorts win
be admitted free Of charge. while the ad-
mission 20 the grounds will be p cents.
Tom Brown will umpire the games.
The Washington herald., 1907-10-14
three-ysar-OIds and up;
ITEMS FROM ABROAD.

Copenhagen. Oct I3-The Politiquen's
Berlin correspondent says that MEETING between
King Edward and the Car at Copenhagen has been
arranged.
London. Oct 12-Three woman teach
ers who married during the recent school vacation
have been called upon by the Gateshead-on- Tyae
education committee to resign.
London. Oct 12-The admiralty is ar
ranging for the adoption q oil fuel for the navy,
and has secured control Of the Nigerian oil fields,
which are expected to prove very 1eh.
Rouen. France, Oct 13.-Robert S. Nc
who arrived here yesterday on an automobile tosir
Of France. was received with signal honOrs BY the
civil and military authorities.
London. Oct 13-Messages from Genoa
state that little hops is entertained Of raising the
Italian Lloyd transatlantic liner Princess Yoianda
which fcundered in the act Of launching. The loss
is estimated at close upon s250.0o0.
London, Oct I3-Lord and Lady Rob
erts have arrived at Lusanne It IS stated that It Is
Lord Roberts intention to make . thorough study
Of the Swiss military system and 70 consult Swiss
officers numerous points connected with army or
gsnization-
Victoria. British Columbia, Oct. "a
Mail advces from Batavia report the am6useade and
massacre Of tive companies Of Dutch troops By na-
tives IN Cclebes. Thirty-four men, sent 20 get a
native chief were attacked while some were in camp
breakfasting. and others in swimming. and they
were butchered to q man.
The Washington herald., 1907-10-14
MOURN THE WRONG JOHNSON.
Broadway Friends of Turf PIunger Be-
Iie-e Him Dead.

New York. Oct 13-That part Of Broad
way where the lights burn brightly at
night became excited yesterday when a
story became current that David john
son had died in the l'ost-Graduate Hos
pital as the result of injuries. SkepticlI
persons called up the hospital and learned
that David johnson had died there IN the
morning, and this was alt the eoafrma-
ton that Broadway wanted.
Broadway knows only one David John
son. owner Of Roseben and race track
plunger, and it was taken for granted
that he was the man. His friends. and
there are many of them, stood around
and told what square fellow he had
been. spoke Of mis- days OF prosperity and
adversely, and declared that when he had
money he knew how 20 spend it right
It was not until late at night that it
became known that the David Johnson
who had died at the Post-Graduate Hos
pital was not the David Johnson that
Broadway knew. A man of the same
name and not unlike him in personal
appearance. did die, but he was a farmer
living in Branchville, \. J. He sustained
a fractured skull Tuesday night from
falling down stairs, and was hurried
Wednesday to the hospital where an op-
Grafton was performed.
In a mysterious way the news was
flashed along Broadway that David John
son was dead, and the telephone operator
at the hospital was busy confirming the
news. Not until friends Of the David
Johnson who is known on the race track
arrived at the hospital to learn the de-
tails did the mistake in the identity OF
the dead man become known
The Washington herald., 1907-10-14

indicates no weakness in the latter's
game unless It is weakness to allow an
opponent 20 set within thirty yards OF
your goal lines. That is a weakness that
no team is exempt from if the opponent
Is as strong as SwaTthmore. Pennsyiya-
MAS defense was shaky in streaks be-
tween the 2J-yard lines but stanch always
between those points and the goal line,
and that Is far better than having 1t the
other way.
The Quakers were not very good at
thwarting the forward pass, and the
opposing backs found holes ali the way
from tackle to tackle. Twice in sue
cession there were enormous gaps right
in the center, bat as soon as Dwyer,
forsaking for the time being that peculiar
plan of having the center drop back on
the defense. went up into the line and
got down low the gains at the middle OF
the line were stopped.