The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1907-12-01

Wait a minute.
Ever frequent the humble lodgings Of
the pOOrp Horny handed sous OG toll and
all that sort of thingp Same there.
ParlOr. dining room. kitchen and two
bedrooms. Store room In the attic. Rent
payable monthly in advance.
Tea kettle ON the stove. Corn beef In the
dining room. Album ON the paEiOr what
not. Now I'm coming 20 IL. v Q
Albuml All full OF photos. Weighs about
400 pounds Troy weight. Including tho
plush and stulfing,
Let's look at IL. What'd l tell your
PhotosI One on a page. Some single and
some double. A
Single ones, bust pictures. Worried look
about the eyes. Thought the camera was
going to explode.
Very little hair on EN-. What there is
is red.
Double ones. Man sitting down trying
TO get his legs under - chair. and a lady
woman person beside with hand on his
shoulder.
Good large honest handi Feet and ears
close second. Turn over the page.
Group. by graciousl Regular group.
Looks like ~The Gang shortly After the
Police Arrived" Isn't. It's brothers.
Oh woman. wOmanl Why more than one
of suChp Pardon me. lam DEPRESSING,
Regular ancestor brothers OF this family.
One owned a passed. o Ian over near Jake
Cranston's cider MILL" AnOs's boy turned
il over for potatoes this spring.
Bless his dear little heart. He isn't In
the book.
Turn over. Let's see the whole shooting
match.
Ali it's grandfather. Doesn't do him
Justice. Squinty lOok in his left eye all
wrong. Didn't have any left eye.
Whiskers bad, too. Too bad In fact.
Wife made him comb 'em. When he put
the comb in found wasn't more than half
Of it hair. Spoiled his whiskers terrible.
Still. he's in the book. See what 1 mean2
More! Lots more. Some date way back.
ALI ancestors.
Family points with pride" and all that
sort Of thing. Why not2 They'rea ancestors.
Great institution.
Wait a minute. How about those gilded
sons? They never did anything. Prob
ably never will. II n mule was that shift
less you'd sell him-if you could. Eat
sleep and gamble. Mostly eat and gamble.
Slesp'stOO normal. Too common. BeastIy
bad form.
No minds. no morals. All money. Homely
too. Flat chested. And all that sort OF
thing. Social butterfies-or moth millers.
Opinions differ.
Don't deny IL. But they've got the
ancestors. old friend. Read IL in the papers.
Grandson Of - A descendant Of =.
Fine! How you going to beat it2
And see here. Take the son Of a son
Of a son OF a horny handed son Of toll.
Sometimes he works. Sometimes not.
Stays down at the old place. Marries
Heck PeTkins's gal.
Beefy sort. Wears woollen stockings.
Very healthy. Nerves so good she can eat
fast without cutting her mouth.
Begets sons and daughters. Horny
handed son does. Never loses his job, he
don't. No stree. Never has one.
loo natured sort of male man person.
Helps neighbors get in hay. Drives wagon
when there's a picnic.
Good steddy Teller. Leetle OF a sport
round the election"
Harsh words those, but true. You know
the sort. See what I mean? .Where'd he
be without ~prOgenitors?
But with emp Acesl Two pair. All
different.
Comes of good old stock" Ever hear
anybody say thatp Good old stOcki'
Like that. Sounds grand. See what I
meanp He's all right.
All sorts OF things nave EN-. I mean
ancestors. Have ancestors. Cows. jack
rabbits. crows ~pOrcupines. boil weevils.
bees, grubs. animaIcuIR.
Mammalia. duo and quadrumanus, mos
quitOes. ~wOOdpeckers and pussy cats. And
others.
Tramps rave 'em. Trampier the tramp
the more he can point with PRIDE and all
that sort of thing.
Dogs? Well. rather. Hold on. See that
dog? Yes. over there with the ribbon.
That's one. Toy bull. Brindle toy bull.
Wiggly tail. Balcony jaws. Red eyes.
Enough upper lip to make a balloon jib.
He's got the marks. Registered.
Right in the book. Ancestors before him
in the book. Goes way back. Regular
sort Of a history. He can point with pride.
Not a pointer. He's toy bull. But he's got
'em all right.
Sleeps most OF time when ne isn't eating.
Sure! Nah2 Wouldn't have any use for
him. Couldn't lick a n cent stamp.
En-? Who. the dog? Get outl What are
you giving me-? Him7
Say. why don't yOu listen2o I'm talking
about men. Not dogs.
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