davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1907-08-26
The INGENIOUS Man.

Once there was very ingenious man
who believed in utilizing everything
according to its intended use as indica-
ted by its label.
One day he sat thoughtfully picking
his teeth with the point Of his jaw and
trying to count the tWfgs in his family
tree Also he was giving some thought
to the number of tiles in the roof of
his mouth and the leaves in the palm
of his hand. He spent lot of Valu-
able time looking for the visor and
/ ear flaps on the cap of his knee. He
wondered casually, why the bridge OF
his nose had not been made on the sus-
pension principle instead of using
abutments, and how many stones were
| in the arch of his foot-cOnnecting this
vaguely with the tendency of the sole
in it's vicinity to contract stOne-bruises.
He marvelled by the hour why the
pilgrims progress would not have been
more rapid without buniOns, and as he
pondered he absently played toss-and-
catch with the ball of his eye, OCCASION
ally throwing it across to the base of
his brain, as if he were catching a
runner at second.
He spent a week trying to make an
arrow he could shoot from the bow of
his legs, whiting it out painfully with
his shoulder blade, and filing down
portions of his finger-nails for points.
Wherever he went he carefully kept
step to the drum in his ear, and he al
most went insane wondering why all
his food did not make full stop when
it reached his colon. On Halloween he
suspended his adams apple from one
of his vocal cords and tried in vain to
bite a piece out of it. One day he ran
pell-meU for three blocks to try to get
policeman to arrest the crook in his
elbow.
Naturally this sort of person would
meet unique death. One day he dis
covered his funny bone and laughed
himself to death at it.-Strickland w.
Gilliland in Judge.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1907-08-26
pASCO ITEMS

PASCO, Aug. 26.-George Clemens
of Ainsworth, has sold his saloon for
$4,000 and is new visiting in Spokane.
The board of equalization is in ses-
sion and the valuation of real estate
has been raised from one to 200 per
cent
Robert Gerry has purchased the
large brick store building in the new
addition.
c. L. Hastings of Pendleton, is in
Pasco preparing to move the Eagle
hotel to the new addition.
The city council met Friday and
granted saloon licenses to A. c. Laird
and to S. A. Ash, the latter formerly
of Wallula.
N. P. Gray left yesterday for Seattle
on business connected with an irri-
cation project.
Tina Rand, sister of Car Inspector
Irving w. Rand. who was killed in the
N. P. yards last week, has gone to
Spokane to engage attorneys to bring
action against the railroad company.
The new hotel at Kennewick, which
is reputed to be the finest in this sec
ton, will be opened to the public Sep
TENDER Is.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1907-08-26
CITY NEWS IN BRIEF

Mrs. A. c. Lukins and little son
Herbert, leave tonight for a visit with
friends and relatives in Soseburg. Ore
Robert Burns, general freight and
passenger agent for the %. r. & n.
company at this place, leaves tonight
for Portland on business.
Invitations are out for the wedding
of Miss Muriel Smith and Mr.. William
NJ. Johnson The wedding will take
place Sunday. Sept. %.
Funeral services over the remains of
Mrs Jessie Devine. were held from the
Catholic church this morning at 10
o'clock, Father Van DeVen officiating.
Interment was made in the city ceme
terry.
An ice cream social will be held to-
morrow night at the new Methodist
church on Pleasant street. Besides ice
cream there will be a program and all
who attend will be gladly welcomed
and royalty entertained
Robert Fisher, city editor of The
Bulletin, returned yesterday after a
visit with friends and relatives in
Moscow, Ida. Thoroughly recuperated
by his weeks rest, Mr.. Fisher re-
sumed his work at the city desk of his
paper this morning.
D. Ferguson, 513 North Eighth street,
received telegram Saturday morning
advising him of his fathers death at
his home in Grand Island, Neb The
telegram was sent Thursday, but
owing to the wire strike, was not re-
ceived here until day before yesterday.
P. K. Parkhurst, travelling sales
man for undertakers' supplies, arrived
in the city yesterday. He was accom-
panied by his wife whom he married
but few days. The young lady's
name was formerly Miss Mabel Ran
dali and she lived in Everett The two
are combining a business trip with
honeymoon.
From the Cookery undertaking par
lors yesterday afternoon, the funeral of
Mrs. Katherin Mcintyre of Pasco, was
held at o'clock. Rev. J. H. Beaver
of the Park street Baptist church Off
ciated. A large delegation of friends
from Pasco came over to attend the
services.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1907-08-26
PERSONAL MENTION

H. D. Wilson is up from Athena.
colt.
E. A. Johnson is in town from Ore
gon City.
William Duffy of Athena, is in
town today.
| C. A. Robinson is a guest in the city
today from Eureka
j. T. Krusoe of Eureka, IS in the city
today on business.
Percy Wilson of Athena, is in the
city for few days.
Judge c. H. landlord is in the city
for a few days on business.
A. u Morris is down from Dayton,
looking after business here.
Alfred Livengood has returned from
his summers vacation.
Thomas Rose is down from Pres
colt on business and pleasure.
w. H. Dickson is down from Waits
burg on a short pleasure trip.
Miss Nellie Kenworthy has returned
from two weeks visit at Long Beach,
Wash.
j. w. McGhee Jr., returned today
from a 10 days vacation spent at the
coast.
Edgar L. Forest is up from Pendle-
ton looking after business interests In
the city.
Mr. and Mrs. L. H. Koontz of Pasco
are visiting friends ard relatives in
the city.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1907-08-26
FOURTH FLOOR.

WEATHER BUREAU-ROONS 419
41S. F. Newman, Observer Tele-
phone, Main 514.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1907-08-26

Saratoga Springs and return, $50 10
Tickets sold September 3-4-5, good
for 90 days.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1907-08-26

E D. MATTISON, LOANS. INSTR.
ance, Surety Bonds, Notary Public
Rooms, 206-207. SPhone Main $50.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1907-08-26
THIRD FLOOR.

RAIDER & BARKER, ATTORNEYS
and Counsellors at Law Phone ia.
Rooms, 313, 314, 315, 316
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1907-08-26

mans
over
| alorle
| ssist-
' has
Weeds
SIS of
s alb
half
h de-
or of
like
|f his
EI.for-
| e. He
|,alked
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1907-08-26
To Long Beach, Seaside, Newport,
Yaquina Bay and Bingham Springs.

jamestown and return, .60.-Tick-
1918, good for 80 days.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1907-08-26

Re. NO
| he sun
in the
fine
| with
anteed
cents
month.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1907-08-26

Through Standard and Tourist sleep
ers Chair Cars, Superb Dining Car
Service.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1907-08-26
WAN

100 girls to pack fruit. Apply at
once at the Walla Walla Produce Co.
(75)
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1907-08-26
WANTED

Wait at the Book Nook for the cars.
Free press., 1907-06-08
TAKES NO BACKWARD STEP
President FOrcefully Reasserts His
Position Regarding Railroads.
They Should Be as Completely Under
Governmental Control AS Are
the National Banks.


indianapolis, Indiana. = President
Roosevelt delivered the principal
address in this city Thursday at the
unveiling of the statue to Gen. Law
ton, a veteran of the civil war, who
died in the service of his country in
the Philippines. The address had
been looked forward to for weeks as
being the first authoritative express
sion of the presidents views regard
ing the relationship OF the govern
ment to the railroads of the country.
After delivering an eulogy on Gen.
Lawton and the veterans of the Civil
war Mr.. Roosevelt said among other
things:
"One great problem that we have
of property and these can only be
preserved if we remember that they
are IN less jeopardy from the socialist
and the anarchist than from the pre-
datory man of wealth. The power
of the nation must be exerted to stop
crimes of cunning no less than
crimes of violence. There can be no
halt in the course we have deliber-
ately elected to pursue, the policy
of asserting the right of the nation.
so far as ii has the power to super
wise and control the business use of
wealth, especially in its corporate
form. Today l wish to say a word
to you about the first and most i'm
portant feature of this task, the
-. IL,
ali interstate business; a control alb
solutely vested in the nation. There
must be vested in the federal gov
ernment full power of supervision
and control over the railways doing
interstate business; a power in many
respects analogous to and as COM
plete as that the government cxer-
cises over the national banks. It
must possess the power to exercise
supervision over the future issuance
of stocks and bonds, either through
a national incorporation (Which
should prefer) or in some similar
fashion.
The movement to regulate railways
by law has come to stay. The people
of this country have made up their
minds-and wisely made up their
minds to exercise a closer control
over all kinds of public service cor
porations, including railways. Every
honestly managed railway will gain
and not lose by the policy. The men
more anxious to manipulate stocks
than to make the management of
their roads efficient and honest are:
the only ones who have cause to Op-
pose it.
Free press., 1907-06-08
EACH HAD WEDDING PRESENT.
Mutual Surprise in Condolences Fol.
lowing Marriage.

Last Christmas q middle-aged tin
plate worker married a widow whose
acquaintance he had made but a few
weeks before while working some lit
tie distance away from home.
Sarah he said. nervously. after
the guests had departed, Il have
weddin' present for ye.''
What is 1t, John?" said Sarah with
q smirk
'I 'ope ye won't be Tended, Sarah, :"
said John, more agitated than ever,
"but it is-er-er-it is FIVE of EN-"
Five OF what?" asked Sarah.
Five children!" blurted out John,
desperately, anticipating a scene. Il
didn't tell ye l 'ad children-five Of
en-
Sarah took the news calmly; in
fact she appeared relieved.
"Oh, well, john she said, that do
make it easier for me to tell ye. Five
is not so bad as me. whatever. Seven
ave got.'
What" howled John.
Seven" repeated Sarah, compos-
edly. THAT is my weddin present to
ye, John. Ladies' Home Journal.
Free press., 1907-06-08
HOW HE BROKE A RECORD.
Took Last Jump from Forgotten Rub
Der Home Plate.

Billy Powell, greatest hurdler the
west has produced, was referring to
his college days on the Berkeley
track
There were five in the race
drew the extreme outside lane,
which gave me a bad finish stretch
But 1 got a peach of start, swept
the curve like a yacht on her beam
ends and came down the straight
taking the jumps in beautiful style.
1 felt 1 had a varsity record in me
at that clip, and l threw all my
power into the final strides. Spring
ing for the ninth hurdle I fairly
flew through the air, and, dashing
to the finish, broke the tape, the
worlds record for the low hurdles,
for the 220-dash, and for the run
ming broad jump, the time being
21 fat, and my last jump over two
hurdles at once, clearing 43 feet and
some inches.
"Whew!" exclaimed Ole Snedigar,
why weren't the records ever al
lowed?"
Well" continued Powell, when
they went to measure that leap,
Col. Edwards started to shove his
cane in, to indicate my foremost spike
mark, and the stick jumped out of his
hand. They scraped the short grass
away and found solid rubber home
plate imbedded where the varsity bat
terry used to practice. San Francisco
Chronicle.
Free press., 1907-06-08
Standard Oil Fine May Stand.

Findlay, o. The circuit court Fri
day afternoon renderd a decision hold.
ing that the probate court of Hancock
county had jurisdiction in the case
in which Prosecutor David filed in
formation against the Standard Oil
company some time ago charging it
with conspiracy against trade. Pro
bate Judge Banker assessed a fine
of $4,000 after a verdict of guilty had
been rendered by jury in the trial.
The case was carried to the common
pleas court and that court held the
probate court had no jurisdiction
while the circuit court now reversed
the common pleas court and thus af-
firms the original finding. 1t is prob
able that an appeal will be taken to
the supreme court at Columbus
Free press., 1907-06-08
ousTED THE wATERs-pIERcE.
A Texas Jury Fined the Oil Company
$1,623, 800 and Ordered it From
the State.

Austin. Tex After the jury
found the Waters-Pierce Oil company
of Missouri guilty Saturday of violat-
ing the antitrust laws of Texas, con-
victed it of having entered the state
by fraud, fined it 81 ,623, 800 and grant
ed the prayer of the state for custer
proceedings, the defense filed a mo-
ton for a new trial and the case will
be taken to the federal courts.
The state filed petition with Dis
trict Judge Brooks for the appoint
ment of a receiver, also an injunction
to restrain the company from moving
any of its property from the state
The judge granted a temporary in
junction and set the receivership
case for June g. The trial consumed
three weeks in the district court here
and its conclusion Saturday was mere
ly the beginning Of a long legal
battle.
Free press., 1907-06-08
THE HAGUE CONFERENCE.
General FGan or Proceedings Has Not
Been Worked Out-First Ses-
sion Only Arranged.

The Hague. = The general plan
of the proceedings at the second
peace conference probably will fol-
low closely the procedure of the first
congress held in 1899. Practically
nothing has been worked out in ad-
vance. The arrangements up to the
present time simply cover the open
ing session, when Mr.. Nelidioff the
Russian ambassador to France, will
call the conference, to order and make
an address extending his sovereign's
greetings to the delegates. DR.. Jonk-
heer D. A. w. Van Tots Van GOudrain,
the Dutch minister for foreign affairs
will reply in an address of welcome
on behalf of Queen Wilhelmina.
Thereafter, l. will remain for the
conference to decide how it will pro-
ceed
The lowest estimation of the dura-
ton of the conference is six weeks
and the belief is that it will be in ses-
sion between two and three months
and it is quite possible the sittings
may extend even beyond that time.
Free press., 1907-06-08
A Sad Mistake.

In my fathers native village lives
Mr.. s., very deaf old man. During
the summer months he lets his spare
rooms to some of the many pleasure
seekers who frequent the place, says
a Boston Herald writer, and one day
last summer while Mr.. S. was in his
garden, young man of the village
chanced by, and the following CONVEX
sation took place:
Good morning, Mr.. s."
"Mawnin'."
you've got your house full of board
ers this summer"
Mr.. S. was picking potato bugs 0r
from his plants, but he managed to
stop long enough to answer, Yes"
Some nice looking young ladies'
among them,' continued the young
man.
Mr.. S. stood up and eyed the poSR-
toes critically, then answered:
well, they'd ought to look purity
good ] just picked two quarts et
bugs off en-
Build your hopes high-then stand
from under
Free press., 1907-06-08
ALMOST FELT ENVY PANos.
Great Cricketer's Simple Tribute to
His Own Worth.

In 1885 there was a great celebra-
ton in London in honor of DR.. Sam
uel Johnson, and among those in at
tendance was the Australian crack"
cricketer, Bonner, then at the height
of his fame.
AS one of the guests. says the COM
piler OF the recently published Let
ters' of the late DR.. George Birkbeck
Hill, Bonner's health was proposed.
His response was noteworthy.
After seeing the way in which DIR.
Johnson's memory is revered," ne said,
with great simplicity, Il am not sure
that 1 would not rather have been
such a man than have gained my own
greatest triumphs in cricket
Youths Companion.
Free press., 1907-06-08
SORES AS BIG AS PENNIES.
Whole Head and Neck coVered-Hair
All Came Cut-Cured in Three
Weeks by CutieUra.

after having the measles my whole
head and neck were covered with scaly
sores about as large as penny. They
were just as thick as they could be.
My hair all came out let the trou-
bic run along, taking the doctors blood
remedies and rubbing on salve, but it
did not seem to get any better. 1t
stayed that way for about six months;
then 1 got a set of the Cuticura Rem
edies, and in about week 1 noticed
a big difference, and in three weeks
it was well entirely and 1 have not had
the trouble any more, and as this was
seven years ago, I consider myself
cured. Mrs. Henry Porter, Albion,
Neb., Aug. %, 1906"
Free press., 1907-06-08
Royal Scion Does Good Work.

in this country, pronounces it as
though it were spelled "Ah-broot-zee, -
with the accent on the second syl-
liable. Although only 81 years old, he
has done a deal of hard work and has
had many hazardous experiences. He
is the son of a Spanish king who alb
dicated under pressure. The son
early in life took service in the Italian
navy Then he went in for explora-
ton and mountaineering and in such
pursuits has travelled all over the
world. The duke has written accept
ably of his wanderings and has won
honors for several scientific societies.
Free press., 1907-06-08
PACKERS STAND FIRM.
Contend That Paying Only for Cattle
Which Pass Inspection Would
Eradicate Disease from Herds.

Chicago, Ill. = The executive COM
mittee of the American Meat
Packer association, whose members
embrace 275 large and small packers
in % states, met here Friday and un-
animously adopted a resolution ask
ing all inspected slaughtering estab-
lishments to buy cows and other
"she cattle" subject to postmortem
inspection by the United States gov
ernment. The request was made
that immediate effect be given the
resolution
Secretary George l.. Mccarthy of
the association said: The diseased
COWS to which we object come from
dirty, filthy farms and it naturally
follows that the dairy herds from
which most Of them come are dis
eased. The danger to the public by
consuming milk and other dairy
products from tubercular cows and
cows suffering from other diseases
would be- appalling if it were
generally known. The farmers who
are responsible for this condition of
affairs have no incentive to keep
their farms clean and their herds
free from disease SO long as they are
paid full value for dis s,ased animals
sent to the market for slaughter, but
when cattle are bought subject to in
spection after death every farmer
who has been criminally negligent
will Immediately clean up his place
and take measures to keep disease
out of his herd.
Free press., 1907-06-08
Harrlnon Protects HiII.

New York Frank w Hill, for
merly secretary OF E. H Hartman,
who some time ago sold to a newspa-
per the now famous Sidney Webster
letter. written by Mr.. Hartman, and
the publication of which drew a heat
ed denial from President Roosevelt,
Wednesday pleaded guilty. On the
recommendation of the district at
ltorney's office and at the request Of
Mr.. Hartman, the sentence was sus-
pended.
Free press., 1907-06-08
Medicine of Bamboo Sap.

In India the sap of the female bam-
boo tree is used for medicinal pur-
poses. "Tabasheer," or "banslochan,
is sold in all Indian bazars. as it has
been known from the earliest times as
a medicinal agent. 1t is also known
in Borneo, and was an article of COM
merce with early Arab traders of the
east It's properties are said to be
strengthening, tonic and cooling. It
has been analyzed and has been shown
to consist almost entirely of silica,
with TRACES of lime and potash. From
its remarkable occurrence in the hol-
lows of bamboos the eastern mind has
long associated it with miraculous
powers.
Free press., 1907-06-08
Child Fell From Moving Train.

Waterloo, Iowa. The five-year-
old son of woman named Kate Kar-
tinelli fell out of a car widnow of an
Illinois Central limited westbound
train, running at so miles an hour
Wednesday night between Post and
Epworth. while his mother was
asleep. The child was found walk
ing on the tracks at o'clock Thurs
day morning by the train crew of an
eastbound train. Except for slight
cut On the. face the boy was unhurt.
Free press., 1907-06-08
Powder Trust Case Soon.

Washington. The bill of com
plant which will be filed by the de
partment OF justice in the United
States circuit court at Cincinnati
against the so-called powder trust is
nearly completed and it is not unlike
ly that it will be forwarded to the
United States attorney at Cincinnati
for presentation to. the court within
the next week or ten days. This bill
follows along the same general lines
as that filed at St. Louis against the
Standard Oil company
Free press., 1907-06-08
win Live IN Paris.

The widow of Coils P Huntington
has informed friends in Washington
of her purpose to reside permanently
she is preparing to close her house in
New York and go to the French cap
ital. where there will soon be COM
pleted a mansion for her costing near
ly $1,000,000 Mrs. Huntington was
many years younger than her great
husband, who left her the bulk of his
millions to do with as she might see
fit.
Free press., 1907-06-08
Famous MosIem Bell.

On the watch tower of the Vela, at
the Alhambra, Spain, there is silver
toned bell which the Moslems used to
ring as a signal to let on the water
in the gardens and the fountain in the
city below. Its sound can be heard
at Liga, 80 miles away The maiden
who strikes it to-day is sure of hus-
band before the year is out, and of a
good one if she rings loud enough On
bell.
Free press., 1907-06-08
Catarrh Cannot Be cured

with LOCAL APPLICATIONS, as they cannot reach
the seat OF the disease. Catarrh is blood const
tutiona disease and In order 10 II you take
internal remedies Halls Catarrh Cure is taken in-
ternally, and acts directly the blood and mucous
surfaces. Halls Catarrh Cure is not quack medi
cine 1t was prescribed by of the best physicians
In this country for and is regular prescription
1t is composed of the best tonics known. combined
with the best blood purifiers. acting directly on the
mucOua surfaces. The perfect combination of the
two ingredients is what produces such wonderful re-
suits in curing catarrh Send for testiInoneIs free
F.J: CHENEY & CO., Props, Toledo, o.
Sold by Druggists, price 15c.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
Free press., 1907-06-08
NURSES for pupIis in Boston.

Boston = Considering the health Of
the pupils of the public schools to be
of as great Importance as their iatel-
lectual training, the Boston school
committee has decided to appoint a
shall be to safeguard the children
The plan provides for the appoint
ment of 81 women nurses, who under
a supervisor will be placed in charge
of all the pupils.
Free press., 1907-06-08
Telephones in Boston.

Boston is the greatest telephone
user in the world. according to the an
nual report of the New England Tele-
phone & Telegraph company. Every
day in New England there is an aver
age Of 935, ,S58 telephone conversations
In Boston there is a phone for every
II persons.
Free press., 1907-06-08
Shot bv His son-In-laNw

Poplar Bluff, Mo.-Former Coun-
ty Judge John A. Hayes was shot
and mortally wounded Wednesday by
his son-in-law, James Williamson, and
the latter is now under arrest The
shooting occurred at Williamson's
hc-ne on Judge Hayes farm several
miles west of here.
Free press., 1907-06-08
Stelen Macs.

How do you ike that Office boy I
sent around?" asked the banker.
Don't think much of him, replied
the broker. He isn't wide awake"
But you told me the last office boy
you engaged was too forward and you
wanted one who was retiring
Yes, but this one is too retiring
Every time l slip out for few hours
1 find that he retires on top of the big
safe and snores until l return
Free press., 1907-06-08
eunboat to Protect Foreisnere

Washington. Instructions have
been cabled to the commander of the
gunboat Helena, which arrived at
Fouchow, China, a few days ago, to
return at once to Annoy, the nearest
port to the scene of the armed upris-
ing against the Chinese local Off
eialc.