Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1907-06-05
PUBLIC
PARKS AND
SPOONING
The Horse Editor Ventures a Few
Ideas On the Subject

| Inc C0leL OL DOllCt VI OHe VI LHb
larger eastern cities, speaking of city
parks said: "Spooning is all the
parks are good for!" Now by all the
grass that Nebuchadnezzar did not
eat, wouldn't that jar you?
Why bless the dear ignorant heart
of him, he ought to know that a
place suitable for spooning, is fit for
q bay window at the top of the ladder
that leads to paradise. Spooning is
one of the most delightful incorporeal
things in the world, and is so utterly
lovely and dlstracting that the femi-
nine pronoun, "She," belongs to her,
instead of at" s. was discovered
by the Goddess of Spring, blessed by
the moon, perfumed by the flowers,
filled with music by the birds, made
dreamful by falling waters, clothed
in the misty robes of starlight, taught
to whisper by the dryads and to
laugh by the Naiads. She was given
beauty by Venus, charm by all the
Graces, and sent down blossom
crowned to earth with the kisses of
the Zephyrs on her red lips, the honey
of Hyrcanum on her tongue,
heavens own light in her eyes, the
dearest, dainties, sweetest, sticklest
article that ever graced the earth
outside of a barrel of New Orleans
molasses.
The very name "Spooning" sug-
gests something closer than a bro
ther.
When Adam first lifted his Panama
to Eve In the Garden of Eden, and
she gave him just one goo-goo, the
chances are they went to spooning in
the shade of the old apple tree as
soon as the moon came up.
History sacred and profane shows
Il has been a spooney old world ever
since. Perhaps one of the greatest
inducements to spooning is the dan
ger lurking in Il, for II is as deadly |
as a buzz saw, or the business end |
Of mule, or an Oregon legislature, |
Or any other absolutely irresponsible |
thing
Jacob had a delightful time for he |
ipooned Rachel for seven years, and |
hen got gold bricked so to speak. |
David spooned the spoon-holder,
spoons and all, as II were, and wrote
/ poem about spooning in conse-
luence, that has never been even
approached for the beauty of It's
or the richness and grandeur
" its word painting. Samson spoon
ID Delilah, but she was a pewter
spoon and the plating soon wore
through, Samson got the worst OF
L, of course.
Anthony spooned the red-haired
Cleopatra and lost both an empire
md his life. Romeo and Juliet were
ust a pair of desert spoons, and
Desdemona snuffed out her glad
'oung life by spooning a saddle color
ID Moor, with a temper like file.
Iohn Alden tried to do a little In
'arious spooning and fell into the
consomme the first
Freak. Rolfe spooned Pocohontas
md behold the Jimtown exposition.
And to come down to the more recent
lines II might be noted that spoon
ng In the city of Chicago alone, re-
ulted in a wedding a minute last
sunday
The horse editor will even go so
lar as to admit indulgence in that
dangerous pastime, and though 1t
vas a goodly number OF years ago,
he memory of poking his face into
he opening of big sunbonnet, and
citing it grope its happy way down
hat calico tunnel until his nose met
hat OF the little freckle-faced diyin-
ty In the back end Of II, and feeling
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