The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-03-17
MAGAZINE SECTION.
BY ELLIS PARKER BUTLER.

Every subject under the sun fully
treated" said Eliph Hewlett land a
complete list of three hundred simpli-
fled words. which no home should be
without. A national work. and as such
1 begged Jarby. of Jarby & Goss, to put
in the list of three hundred wards and
to spell out the appendix in the simpli-
fled way. although after seeing the
word-wOrks at work 1 no longer be-
lieved in the bargain counter style Of
spelling. 1 told Jarby my reason for.
wanting them in and he agreed. The
list of three hundred is in each book,
with the appendix as a sample of how
to do it. and If desired we throw in
knitting needle free with which them
that wish can take the book and punch
out the letters TO make the whole book
match the three hundred. 1t affords
a pleasant occupation for the winter
fireside and is much enjoyed by the
young and old. \ butcher can do it as
well as a college professor and has as
much right, none of the words Of the
English language being patented or
able to hit back
Il guess / don't need no games to
keep me busy" said Mr.. Gilthorp. This
butcher business keeps me busy
enough
I should think it would" said E1iph'
Hewlett. with sympathy. you do your
own slaughtertng, don't you?"
Every bit of it," said Mr.. Gilthorp.
Il drive out and buy the COWS. and L
drive them to town. and 7 Kill them.
1 have to do the whole thing"
Troubled much with meat inspec-
tOTs?" asked Eliph', smiling at the
butcher.
Never seen one yet" said Mr.. Gil
thorp. land don't want to-"
And yet" said Eliph' Hewlett.
quickly. you wonder what my reason
was for wanting to have the appendix
of this priceless work simple spelled.
Do you think that Eliph Hewitt and
Jarby & Goss want Theodore Roosevelt
to send d message to Congress explain
ing that JaTby's Encyclopaedia OF
knowledge and Compendium of Litera-
ture, Science and Art is a monopoly
because it contains in one volume all
the knowledge in the world2 1t is too
true. 1t does contain it. 1t is a mon
opoIy. 'Jarby' ] says we must be-
ware Of the big stick. We must make a
friend Of the president. We must spell
the appendix simply or he will be send
ing Congress one hundred thousand
words against us That was my
reason. And ! only hope, Mr.. Gilthorp.
that the President doesn't hear that
Mr.. GilthOTp. of GaIlup's Junction, is
set against the spelling he loves. / only
nope tHaI Wne0 ! write IN 10 JdrDE
why / can't sell Mr.. GilthOrDe a COPY
of this great work that the President
don't hear of it and say;-'Here is this
Mr. Gilthorp dcfying the spelling laws
Of the SimDlified Board and killing
cows that nobody knows is how old and
decrepit. We ought to have an in
spectOT out there That's what I hope
But l haven't much hope. either. Mr.
| Roosevelt seems to know everything"
Mr.. Gilthorp sighed and put his hand
into his money drawer. Eliph' Hewitt
/ took the greasy bill and put it into his
pocket
Thanks" he said. when I send in
your order I'll tell Jarby there amt
no meat inspector needed here
Don't you do it," said Mr.. Gilthorp,
eagerly. Don't say nothing at all
Don't mention meat. Just say I'm glad
the appendix is simple spelled. / kill
the best cattle I can afford to. but
there amt any use calling the Pres
ident's attention this way. First thing
l knew there would be one of them Sec
rotary CT States out here interfering
with business"
(COpywTite, 1907. by Ellis Parker
BUtleTD