New-York tribune., 1907-06-30
REBATE GOVERNMENT.
Simpifed Politics Enpounded and
applied by a Great Statesman.
BY 4. y. Observer.

other new tangled schemes, observed MI
Kooler, the we'll known Brooklyn statesman, 10
me the other day. 'is that they don't solve the
tax problem. No government. in my opinion
claim perfection for itself unless it relieves
all citizens from the arduous labors OF earning
money to pay foF town halls, coroners and bad
pavement. That great motto of our forefathers.
Representation without Taxation" is the right
idea and 1 believe it can be realized"
''I have no doubt you are already working at
it's solution" 1 commented, knowing Mr.. KoOl-
er's proclivities. He rarely condemned anything
openly. unless some Wonderful plan for the bet
terment of conditions had suggested itself to
him.
Eyes, am approaching the answer TO this
problem" he replied modestly. There are still
some difficulties 10 be overcome but a little time
will settle them. l have a wholly new scheme
for running the government. 1t provides for q
gradual transition from the present state OF
.downtroddensm in which the oppressed masses
find themselves''-here q sweeping gesture-'to
a beatific life of luxury for the most humble,
life wherein the government will deliver all the
groceries and the citizens win pay no taxes. or
practically none"
''Incredibler gasped. This was the boldest
thing l had ever beard the statesman utter.
My plan is to apply a universal scale the
method we have already tried successfully over
in Brooklyn We shall have trading stamp
government"
II do not follow" protested feebly. What
has Brooklyn been doing?
You know that our borough uses up one hun
dred thousands bars of soap annually in the pub
lie baths. Well, under the old regime the tax
payers footed the bills. and that was the end of
it, until 1 appeared on the scene and compelled
the minions of the state to save the soap wrap
pers and turn them back to the company for
more soap. The company, like many others,
gives premiums or soap for old wrappers, Just
TO stimulate business. For every five wrappers
you may get bar of soap. I had not been
In office ten minutes before 1 devised a plan
OF universal political salvation for the suffering
millions of taxpayers. BY experimenting L
found that the premiums the soap wrappers
alone were sufficient to furnish five room fiat
with golden oak and Hoboken Brussels every
three months. Brooklyn family could fill its
cosey home with chromos and gilt clocks simply
from the city's quarterly supply Of soap wrap
pers! With flash of inspiration 1 the So
luton Of the puzzle that has worried philOso-
piers ever since Plato founded Tammany Hall.
The government must buy all it's supplies from
premium giving concerns. soap firms. trading
stamp companies and other unsurpassed rebat-
ers. The premiums it must then turn over to
the citizens by some equitable system OF dis
trbution
You realize by this time, hope. the scope
of this plan. The government buys enormous
quantities Of everything from tooth paste up to
mauSoleumS. Nothing escapes its notice: its
enissaries are out looking for novelties and they
gohbIe them up before the common citizens
have even seen the goods advertised. 1t buys III
vast quantities on general principles and some
times out of necessity. Therefore the premiums
which would pour into this biggest OF all GUS
toners would soon provide a large number OF
persons with happy homes and Checkered suits
The grandest climax of nay new syste1n Of
government by rebate will come" meditated Mr.
hooIer softIy. when clocks and Morris chairs
and brass bedsteads and hall rugs and dinner
china and happy cottages with back wards and
individual clothesines have all passed into the
hands OF the government and then back aeafn
INTO the possession Of the common people as q
gift from themselves. We shall have govern
ment ownership OF everything and private own
ershp OF everything at the same time. Grand
compromise, isn't it2 Taxes will have become
a mere formality. necessary only in order to Sc
cure goods enough from the trading stamp
companies 10 supply the public with the neces-
saTles of life. All the evils Of communism and
paterualism will be avoided. for every man will
be left free to carve his own fortune by launch
Ing trading stamp or other rebate enterprise
As the government will buy enormous duanti-
ties OF everything needed by the chance
for private profits Will be most favorable
Naturally. must begin our distribution of
premiums at the bottom. The poor Will be the
first to receive the returns from municipal SOAP
wrappers and the free suspenders thrown in BY
the rebating tailors who supply policemen and
man carriers with uniforms. It is estimated
that the premiums given by hustline firms ara
worth 10 per cent of the original purchase:
this seems that Brooklyn alone by dealing only
with premium giving companies. viii receive
millions OF dollars worth of furniture and house
hold supplies annually. a few short years and
poverty Will be unknown in our borough as
wealth now Is. AS afIluence spreads among tba
masses taxes will be paid with more alacrftv
for taxes will be keenIy recognized as a form
OF gilt edged investment. netting the investor
10 per cent cash and several per cent more in
civic comfort and pride. Men will bestse the
tax office. clamoring to leave their funds Even
milionaires will awaken 10 the new opportunity
and our Golfers will be bursting We shall buv
lots and office buildings on the premium system
then and give the proceeds to our investors. re-
serving small fraction for the cost of clerk
hire the wear and tear on our trucks I'm cart
ing the bullion OF the investors and the erec-
tion of n modest monument in memory of those
who have delivered the state from its old ex-
travagances In those days nothing will be
too good for the town. We shall buy every
thing I'm sight. With all welI-to-do citizens
stockholders in premium giving companies pay
ing large dividends a result of the enormous
trade they get from the government. with all
middle class citizens investing their savings in
taxes and getting neat returns and with all
the poor and helpless being cared for by tho
state at no cost TO itself its beneficial RES the
perfect state will have been realized. Only one
cloud dims the bright horizon"-
"Impossible!" I cried THE scheme is perfect
You show grasp of financial problems little
short OF astounding. Your government by re-
bate has none of the difficulties OF the state in
which every citizen makes a living by washing
somebody else's Clothes"
But there is a difficulty" insisted tho great
statesman gloomy Though you are right in
supposing that II does not lie in the scheme it
self. The trouble IS that ali these wild Iesisla-
lures that worked up against the rebate
system may block me by passing a law prohib-
ttinE premiums WrapperS on tbe Y,lsa