The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1907-06-15
SOME AFTER DINNER STORIES.


-
Such an exchange of courtesy as
was chronicled in a German paper
nos loug ago would hardly suit the
taste of brisk Americans.
The exchange was in the form of
two advertisements.
"The gentleman who found purse
with money in the Blumenstrasse is
requested to forward it to the address
of the loser, as he is recognized
A day or two later appeared the re-
sponse, which, although so courteous,
had an elusive air, to say the least.
"The recognized gentleman who
picked up purse in the Blumen-
strasse requests the loser to call at
his house at convenient day."
A Rochester clergyman, according
to The Herald of that town, was ac-
customed te use scientific terms which
the people did not understand. A
deputation waited on him with the
request that in the future, whenever
he used such terms, he would explain
| them.
On the following Sunday he used
the term hyperbole, and added, "As
agreed on, 1 beg to explain this word.
Were l to say that at this moment the
whole of my congregation are sound
asleep it would be hyperbole, but if
say one-half are asleep that is no
hyperbole, but the truth"
The next day the deputation again
called to say that the minister need
not explain technical terms. The
people would learn their meaning
from dictionary.
J. G. Phelps Stokes, the philan-
thropist, spoke with good-humored
regret at dinner in New York of a
charity that had failed, says the Mew
York Tribune.
"But it failed through its own
fault" said Mr.. Stokes. "It failed
because it was mistaken. 1t tsuggests
to me an experience of a friend of
mine in Ireland.
my friend, at about this season
last year, was motoring through re-
mote region of Ireland, and one day
he came upon poor old woman seat
ed, with all her humble furniture
about her, in the middle of the road
before her little cabin.
"My friend was profoundly moved.
Here, before his very eyes, an evic-
ton, real Irish eviction, was taking
place. He got out of his car and
gave the old woman SIS note.
"'Tell me- he said. what is the
trouble, my poor friend?'
"Bobbing and courtesying her graf
itude, the old woman replied:
I" 'Shure, sir, me ould mans white
washin' >"
A man once moved to Concord who
was proud of his war record, and he
soon obtained captains appoint
..sSs,t ir.-ti1 -r..iI;t:~.- LIo-~vAs ssssss-.
tinet. The first day he reviewed the
company he examined every hair on
their heads, every button on their
coats. 1t was an ordeal for them.
On the whole, the captain was pleas
ed with his inspection. One thing
dissatisfied him, though. His men
all had clean-shaven upper lips. Some
had side-whiskers, some had mutton
chops, some had goatees, some had
patriotic chin boards. There was not
one who had a mustache. The cap
tain complimented his company in a
short speech, and concluded by say.
ing "Only one thing is lacking to
make crack, martial-looking COM
pany of you-mustaches want
every man-jack Of you to raise mus
tache." At this order the men look
ed at one another, and young farmer,
stepping out from the ranks, saluted
him and said: "What color will you
have them, sir 7"
An English newspaper man, who
recently got job as a reporter in
New York, was told to go to Lake
wood and interview John D. Rookie
feller. The assignment was hard
one and the Englishman came back
without his story.
"Did you do everything you could
to reach him ?" asked the city editor.
''I jolly we'll did," answered the
Englishman. "The servants wouldn't
allow me to approach him, y'e know,
so l hid meself in the shrubbery and
made noise like dividend, but even
then he wouldn't t come out"
HOW COULD BE BLOW IT.
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