davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune., 1907-05-19
The Greatest Crouch

DERHAPS the greatest crouch of litera
ture was Dean swift. that whimsical ms
anthropc. who evinced a morbid delight in
humiating his social interiors. because he
himself. when young, had been outrageouSly
attronted by his Supcriors
Swift had acted as private secretary 70 Sir
William Temple Once, when Sir William
was confined To his bed with gout. the
King William ILL., visited him. and Swift
otficiated as His MajeStyS guide through the
gardens of Moor Park The King taught the
secretary how To cut asparagus IN the Dutch
way. and Swift had also the felicity OF seeing
him eat the vegetable.
Years afterward when Swift was Dean of
St. Patrick's Cathedral IN Dublin. his publisher
Faulkner called at the deanery on business
connected with some prootsheetS. Having
pressed by the Dean To dine with him. ASpara-
gus was one of the vegetables, and the guest
asked FOR second helping.
Sir. " snapped Swift, pointing To FaulknerS
plate first finish what YOU have upon Your
plate"
What SIR Eat the stalks?" asked the
astonished publisher
Aye, sir. eat the stalks, or You'll have no
more' King William always ate his stalks
added the Dean in his most imperiouS man
ner
the Deans will. ate the stalks most subnis-
Sively.
Shortly after the Deans death, Faulkner
was relating the incident as an illustration of
Swltts inSolenCe.
And You were silly enough to obey him?"
asked some one.
Yes" replied Faulkner, "and let me add.
sir, that If YOU had dined with Dean Swift.
You would have eaten your stalks too.
New-York tribune., 1907-05-19

missed lane AustcnS novels a. dish wash
ings" Hallam, the historian, As dry as dust !;
and Goldsmith as an Irish blaCkguard.
Even the writer, OF editorials IN the press
were scored bv the irritable sage OF Chelsea
What are these fellows DONG he asked.
They oulv serve % cancel one other.
y characteristic incident illustrates Carlyle $
disposition % iuiiict pain even On a friend. IN
artist. who frcqucntcd the house OF Carlyle
painted picture OF him IN his dressing gown
smoking a pipe bv the hreside. and Mrs. Car
lyle in an arm chair sitting opposite him. The
portrait was hung ~ one OF the Royal Acad-
cmv'~ exhibitions, and, though not striking
work OF art. wAS purchased by Lord ASH
burton Carlvlc's friend, for five hundred
pounds.
The delighted artist hurried OF To the Car
lvlcs expecting congratulations on the sale
and some manifestation of pleasure on their
part at having such = value placed on 4 picture
OF themselves and their domestic interior
He delivered his glad tidings. but the only
response ne got from CARLYLE was,
" Well mon five hundred pounds was Just
four hundred and nIncty-hvc pounds too
much
Browning one day lett copy of his new
poems at Carlyle'S house. In speaking ot this
action TO Tennyson the next day Carlyle broke
out with Il savage snarl-
What did that fellow mean bv leaving that
Iartload Of stone, At my door
New-York tribune., 1907-05-19
Tennyson as a Grow lcr

TENNNSON himself, though not nearly 50
L grouchy As the Chelsea sage, was Vet CON
siderable OF a growler on occasion. Especially
did this tendency on his part become manifest
when he suspected = disposition on any side
60 lionizc him
1t is related that at a dinner i'll London.
70 which he had gone much against his will
at the solicitation Of relative the poet
laureate soon discovered that the company
were expecting some pearl OF thought from
HIM He glowered at the gathering IN such
a way as vsibly to diSconcert some Of
them Then. as II purpoSely To utter the most
unpoetical remark he could devise. with a
grim smile he turned to his hostess-an the
guests IN absolute silence. waiting the slightest
word Of gcnius-and growled out.
Madam. like my mutton cut III chunks
in chunks madam, III chunkSl
New-York tribune., 1907-05-19
Stray Thoughts

I'D ISfy1 6jiG6an q son gOh:
De guSttbnS non dtSpntGrdHm.
FOilai Ce monde est plsir de fon5.
Eteni Qn0d erIt dem0rStrIrirss
Fiat in ufno usrItaS.
Fdtd DISTANT. feStinI lsrts.
Ecce homoi 4pt0. amGS-
o moyssi Dolce far nisrts'
Per angnstd al GHgaStG.
Qti rObts ddnt hoe palchvnm iouH"r'
Me HeronIei O temp0rG!
De m0rfaiS nil niSi b0nHm
Cum grano sails: jana. Sicl
Hic labor. OpaS est. er U0t1.
o Cdrpe diem. Lydia, die:
Ed pede HeroHlen ~ toto
Hio FntS fdndi, what | sing.
ErprsSSfons con fHOcO.
Does not mean much of anything
DHlce est dsStpeye in loco.
-FrdpkIir p 4 iInss
New-York tribune., 1907-05-19
CELEBRATED GROUCHES

else. gave Scant ap-
proval 70 his wife ;
pursuits.
On returning home
late one evening he
Unexpectedly found his
drawing room filled
with musical profeS-
sOrs. ConnOiSseurs and
Others whom MTs.
Hunter had assembled.
Hunter was greatly IT
ritated by the presence
OF these guests Walk
ing straight INTO the
center OF the room. he
New-York tribune., 1907-05-19
Bv EDWIN TARRISSE

addressed the aStoniShed company IN tins STRAIN
knew nothing OF the purpose % hold
such a kick up should have been informed
OF IL beforehand: but as | am now returned
home 70 study. l hope the present company
VIII at once retire.
Which the present company ~ once pro-
Cce,lct u do.
New-York tribune., 1907-05-19
An Unpleasant Surgeon

TOHN HUNTER, the famous English sur
> geon. was a man of great eccentricity and
OF most bearlsh manners. His wife, a witty
and beautiful woman. the friend of many
distinguished persons of the time-the eigh
teenth century-her intimate friend being
Madam d'Arblay The two were the moving
spirits OF a sprightly salon. But Hunter. whose
mind was set on science to the exclusion of all
New-York tribune., 1907-05-19

n ARLNLE. in adj
~ iition 70 his other
troubles, was a
great sufferer from
dyspepsia He was,
therefore anything but
sympathetic in inter
course with his friends,
anything but fair IN
his estimates OF other
writers.
Though tarIyle per-
sonallV liked TenuV-
son. ne spoke with
impatlcnce OF his cob
bling IN, ode dis
New-York tribune., 1907-05-19
No Home Need
Be "HomeIy"

The ninety and nine little things
that would make it SO are over
come quickly with our Special
Goods for Special Purposes. .
Noreal work-just baSfIme and
little expense. Anyone can use
them with that "hnishcd touch "
of the professional decorator.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-02-05
The Ways of the Moonshinsr.

The ways OF the mooushlner are pret.
" much the same everywhere. A suit.
able location consists OF secluded
spot with water In abundance. II IA
important. should he ever be called
upon to defend a case in court. Tor the
question Of tie ownership of tiie land
upon which the stlll is located. to be
involved In doubt; hence the moonshln-
er gets rs near the line OF his own
land or the land he controls as possible.
The stills are primitive affairs and are
often made complete in the neighbor.
hood In which they are operated. With
two or three square yards Of sheet cop
per the still maker requires but few
hours TO make the "b'iler." Home
made hogsheads are usually used as
termenters, and the only thing that the
illicit dlstiIler has to send ''oH yander
arter'' is the worm. Being difficult to
secure, the moonshlner prizes his
worm highly, and that part OF the
distillery Is usually taken away when
the operator leayes.-David A. Gates
In Metropolitan Magazine.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-02-05

Kleptomania Is occasionally induced
BY continued and close application to
the study OF a particular subject. A
singular case was recently reported
from Germany. A well known profes-
sor was found to have transferred to
his own private collection many OF the
valuable butterflies OF which be had
charge In his official capacity. The ex.
istence Of mental deraneement was
clear from the facts that came out In
the course Of the Investigation after.
ward made BY the museum authorities
II was found that the professor had
often sent his wife out an day to catch
butterflies, 50 intense was bis passion
Tor these insects On one occasion the
professor, while hunting 4 butterfly,
was nearly run over By an express
train At another tine be fen into
river. and once both be aud his wife
teil iuto pond.-Afanchester Guardian.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-02-05
origin Of .sBiue.tockIur..n

Burke, apropos of "Evelina." paid
Fanny Burney this high compliment,
I'VE have had an age for statesmen,
an age for heroes, an age for poets. an
age for artists, but thIs"-with a gal
liant bow to Fanny-"is the age for
women" The name "bluestocktngs, /"
given TO these distinguished women.
arose, according to Fanny Burney in
her Memoirs Of Her Father" from an
apology made by Mr. Stillingheet In
declining an Invitation OF Mrs. vesey's
to q literary meeting at her house. Il
am not properly dressed for such a
party he. pleaded. "Pho, pho," she
cried, taking him and his dress all In
at a gfance. don't mind dressl Come
IN your blue stockings" This he aid.
and athose words ever after were
axed in playful stigma upon Mrs We,
sey's associations" 1T. P.'s London
Weekly.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-02-05

The density OF the earth as a whole
has been estimated. with close agree
ment among the scientists who have
made the determination by different
methods; 10 be about 5.5. or Eve and a
half times as heavy as an equivalent
sphere Of water. on the other hand. the
average density Of the materials form
Ing tia accessible parts OF the earth's
crust b between rs and 3, 50 mat the
mean density Of the whole globe Is
about twice that Of It's outer part.
This indicates that the central part OF
the earth is composed Of heavier mate
rails and may even be metallic. which
condition, says the Engineering and
MlniRg Journal. would accord perfect
" with the nebular hypothesis.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-02-05
Life, Hof nsatks

A~AAEn AUE 1D3LAf ~ u
There q much dlftepence n ne Dgy.
biological effect OF she two .ideas
''hfe'. and death Thls. was IiIus-
trateds says the writer Of Letters
From g Surgeon" In the case OF GEN
eral Frank Bartlett. who was; wounded
on the Fredericksburg pike In 1864.
General Bartlett Was brought to the
surgeon Bleeding profusely from a
wound in his head he was uncon-
eious and white as death. The sur.
geon called his name. but could not
rouse him Passing his finger into the
wound, be found the BAN had not pene.
trated the bone. but had simply cut an
artery In the scalp. This the surgeon
bound with ligature. BE laid the
general on the ground and completed
dressing the wound.
mo harm done. old boy" he shout.
ed. This is only hesh wound. You
win be all right when / take stitch
or two
The good news seemed to bring Gen
eral Bartlett to consciousness. He
rallied completely.
Il thought was done for" he said.
well. II I'm all right. here goes"
Before the surgeon could stop him
be was in the saddle and riding at the
best gait Of his horse back to the front
again.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-02-05

DiscOuragement Is but disenchaated
egotlsm.-Mazxini.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-02-05
Mature ana nroIEen Donea.

In the splicing of broken bones ma
ture can give the best surgeon pointers.
When a bone Is broken the splIntersd
ends are surrounded with cartilage .un,
u they are firmly held 10 position.
Then gradually a layer OF bone Is
placed between them and soldered to
gether. All the physician has to. do
Is to bring the two ends Of, the bones
together so that the point will be
smooth and even. Natures little
agents do the rest-New York Tribune
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-02-05
RAILROAD.

Schedule effective Nov. IS, 1895.
GLAREsBuna, ". VA.
Daily. Z Daily except Sunday
Sunday only.
EArN LxMD, EABTBouND.
oumeexland, Wa1htngton. 1aftlnoxa,
phnaaalphia and E6w xoxk, Depart
3;ss An .s:sb pm: s:ab pm
sFSfton Accom-, Depart sIo:so an,
x7:O7 pm. Arrive s7:2s ana. x1:aS
pm, $500 pm.
NAxN LIZZIE, wEBTBouMD.
Paxk1r1nurg, Cincinnati, LouisTiIlo ana
81 Lou1R, Depart sf9:B8 an 1855
an s4:4e pm. Arrive s8:b3 an.
ss:s5 pm. ss:Ss pm
F4 na.ss Asooms DsBasS sI:is an
pm, 1S:4B pm.
". Va. . fTTT8L, HoRTKuouND.
Donnenavino and Rittshurg, Depart
x6:t6 m, x10:So q m Arrive Kat
pm, x11:eS pm
ratrmons and IorrAn1own, Depart
xe:ls g m. x1o:se an, xt.o0 pm
EI;es p n Arrive xs:te Rm- Es:1I
". Va. D RTIE6- 0oufnoUHD.
weston, Depart xs.0o am, ri0:Se am
x1i:fS AM Arrive xe.fg An, xs:KI
an xl:ib pm, x:1.oB p.m
P1cEsn1, Depart xe.oo AK, xa:iG Pm
ArTiye xS:es an. xf:os pm
psEs xe:ee a. x1I:sS an Arrivs
- 49, - 1e:., zsss D., ~,,.~
EFTigs xS:se pln. $500 -
VII Va @ZoI& xWw.
Wsw &Mxt1nsvk19 ana Wheallnw Asnouu.
Depart ee.1k am. w1.49 pm ARr2V1
x11:Ss a. stsss M.@
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-02-05
Tate Gornrn. snsIlInr.

Shakespeare spelled his own name, In
sixteen different ways which have
survived. and IT is evident that Eliza
bethan spelling depends upon the
taste and fancy OF the speIler" It is
the printing press which made spelling
by stereotyping 1t. and It Is, after ali.
on the printers reader more than on
the professor that the spelling oe the
future depenas.-London Star.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-02-05
NapoIeon's Name.

The name Napoleon written In Greek
characters win form seven different
words by dropping the anal letter OF
each in succession. When read. these
words form complete sentence. mean
ing, Napoleon, the destroyer Of whole
cities, was the lion OF his people"
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-02-05

let me see" unused the sporting
editor. what Is an incubatDry
"An incubator" replied the sgricui.
tural editor. IS an egg plant"
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-02-05

There is a word Of one syllable In
the English language that Is always
spelled wrong. even by the most eda.
Gated people
what Is thatT'
THE word wrong"
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1907-02-05

THE DOOAOhb Bill
Doesn't worry the injured mar
who meets with an accident &c
knows that his policy win provide
him with SUFFICIENT money to nx thn
up and more. But
THE UNINSURED NAN
How IL It with hint HIS income
cut on during his disability, his saw.
ingB depleted by doctor bills and liV.
ing expenses. The very though
ought to induce .lou TO have NJ writS
Jon an acciden Insurance. policy a
once.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-01-02
PaTOIO
Valley

signed the bill making the appropriations, ground
not the spending OF the loan funds for purposes
these Paoo roads among otherwhCh included
fund BILL This position of the Governor the opposed strongly
at the me and has believed that the Governor
erornot alone OF judgment but of law 1t against this position
OF the Governor and the action that he took
McCandes protested Washington But under Roosevelt pro-
gram OF making Governor Carter all Hawaiian
coming before the Executive for action approval McCand
less protest had no effect The result is what may Paoo
alley and elsewhere Districts which the legislature
by the Governor provided the good for are without
Them and the effort to the public land into the
holders who will live on and improve and cultivate by
much hindered and delayed
The County under the direction OF Road Supervisor
and Supervisor Lucas has done good valuable work on the
roads Paoo Valley by that much improving conditions there
get-atable.
ne Advertiser this morning the coming legislature
a TO provide TOR the Paoo highway and to do the basis
an explicit understanding with the Governor that its will
thwarted as to the use of the appropriation"
JUST now tins IS to be done is not clear under the legal the
Governor takes that appropriations mandatory"
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-01-02
Old Fashioned
Weather

past years
very apt belief that the climate changing To the
of this kind of Storm proof that the climate
changed. To them this is "old fashioned weather.
To those who from other vivid
recollection storms this something
indication that the climate changing expe-
On the whole though extremes of weather tend dSprov the
denCy everywhere believe climate
changing The fercest the extreme weather of
ones recollection those long The and the
weather those earlier impression
This is the world 1t is fact of locality but the
human mind and of human nature.
There exception this general fact however. With
captains especially the of passenger steamships the last
storm always the worst The the present
weather is always the in their experience
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-01-02
Strong Sympathy
For San Francisco

Francisco and California regarding the Japanese and the school Dues
ton
1t evident that the question which raised by the
action of the San Francisco school authorities will be fruitful OF dis
Cussion which fundamentals
The point made by Senator Rayner Maryland who not with
cut reputation lawyer that there provision the treaty
with Japan that to the Japanese the privileges
necton with the public school system California and that there
such provision the treaty any treaty comforting
the right the treaty would be void any authority upon
the part the United States being viola
ton OF the Constitution and of the reamakng power govern
These high considerations will engage the attention
OF the Senate early date In the meantime
the federal legal authorities San Francisco selected plaintiff
the proceedings to be begun the California courts to test the
validity of the action of the San Francisco OF Education in
regard to the segregation of Japanese pupils schools It n
dertood that the matter will be presented the judicial authorities
upon agreed statement OF facts. Nv,
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-01-02
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

Sweet pleasure often leave a bitter
taste.
Grafters of a feather do not always
graft together.
Avoid the man who is dead in love.
It's not your funeral.
The man behind the drum should not
work to beat the band.
Sow good deeds today if you would
reap happiness tomorrow.
Men who are honest for policy wiz
be dishonest for the same thing.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-01-02

There doesn't seem to be so much
cock-sureness, as there was at first,
that the California law or the action
of the San Francisco Board of Educa-
ton are in violation of any treaty
rights.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-01-02

These are glorious days for the Ka-
maaina. 1t gives him a chance to tell
Of the storms Of years ago when ID
really did storm, you know.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-01-02

What do the newly arrived immi-
grants by the suverie think of this
for New Years weather?
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-01-02

A. P. Taylor, the new chief of de-
tectives will bring zeal and industry to
the work cut out for him.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-01-02

The real New Years for county en-
ployes will be when salaries for De-
cember are paid.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-01-02

New Years resolutions are having
a chance to be tested today.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-01-02
VIII Benefit
Hawaii


Hawaii o o5 9ne %n %fy 1S n ss ioy
any possibility OF the United states
and Japan ever coming t. a tussle
enough said sufficient has been brought
Upon United the these Islands occupy strategca
the Importance they would have in the of with any
power Pacific AS this Territory will probably for
caons army navy improvements than would
otherwise been the For Uncle has had an op
portuniy something Pearl Harbo and that
poruniy has been neglected. Satisfied apparently with the mere
possession great advantage afforded by the
Lohs the Federal Government has seemed forget that
could be expected do than furnish the basis for
any actual advantage until million dollars have been mixed with
the
When present Congress opened there notable
giving the possible the Pacific and
bills were introduced looking the building of
pedo boats this the guarding of San Francisco with
terrifying of the islands this Territory Thus
exhibited by the people through their representatives Congress
Western against the time when these will be the
81 giant struggles.
And the which Hawaii will benefit will be appa
the first place the talk has done the adve
emcnt of Hawaii than all the work OF the Hawaii Promotion Com
since its beginning. The world considering Islands
they have been considered before the light of perhaps the
chief setting that unlikely to become the of the
greatest plays OF history Incidentally when the work OF for
lying Honolulu and other parts this Territory commenced there
will be much money spent and many employed
Hawaians need that talk going nure their
interests. On the contrary is the best OF promotion material Not
article appears any newspaper magazine the mainland
IL foreign countries having do with the possibility between
Japan and the United States but substantial recognition
Hawaii the about which things OF likely to
happen.
Though the talk talk
thcrefrom will be actual
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-01-02

San Francisco overlooked an oppor-
tunity when she did not adopt the
Durham plans. Honolulu should pro-
fit by her example and not forget the
Robinson report.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-01-02

The courts have started in promptly
with the new year.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-01-02

If Hilo knew how it rained here yes
terday she would be jealous.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-01-02

The following from that very
conservative journal Brad
Streets" is not without signih-
canoe, as showing that throughout
the Union there is a very strong
undercurrent OF sympathy and
agreement with the people of San
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-01-02

Hanrahan, who has threatened to
call out the fremen on the Southern
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-01-02

Pacific, holds the position that Com
missioner Sargent used to.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-01-02

Storms like the present are at
once the proof and disproof-in
popular conception-that our eli
mate is changing. Storms like the
present one visit us only at inter-
walls of a good many years, To
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-01-02

The last Legislature made an ap-
preparation out of loan funds for
roads in Palolo Valley which had
then just been divided and taken
up as homesteads. This appropri-
alton among others was thrown
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-01-02
I BALDWIN. LTD
]. P. COOKE, Manager.
OFFICERS

H. P. Baldwin. President
j. B. Castle. First Vice-President
w. NJ. Alexander. Second President
L. T. Peck......... Third Vice-President
j. Waterhouse ............... Treasurer
r. e. Paxton. ..............."Sec Secretary
W. o. Smith............... Director
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-01-02
M all
Murine

The very best Malt Prepare
ton in the market.
Recommended by the Me
dical Profession.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-01-02
Sugar Factors and
Commission
r1erChants
AGENTS FOR

ddWdIIan COmmercIdI q sugar Co
pany.
Haiku Sugar Company.
Paia Plantation.
Maui Agricultural Company.
Kihei Plantation Company.
Hawaiian Sugar Company.
Kahuku Plantation Company.
Kahului Railroad Company.
EIaleakala Ranch Company.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-01-02

Hawaii is likely to reap much
benefit from the talk OF war that
has been agitating the Union and
that benefit may not be slow in
coming. Whether or not there be
any possibility Of the United States