davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1907-10-09
An English Critic ON Mark Twain

An English Critic on Mark Twain.
Violent attacks of hilarity usually
end in a reaction, and 1t may be that
the acerbity of an article on humor
which recently appeared in Black
woods Magazine is owing to its author
having laughed himself nearly to
death during Mark Twain's London
visit. The theme of this writer is
the causes which have debauched
modern humor, and he reluctantly adj
mits that the chief sinners in bringing
about the debasement which he de.
plores were Englishmen. While the
writer in Blackwood's does not accuse
Mark Twain of initiating the English
man who first travestied the classics in
the slang of the day, n Charles Cot
ton, contemporary and boon companion
of the renowned Izaak Walton, ever
theless the end and aim of Cotton in the
seventeenth century was the end and
aim of Twain in the nineteenth century.
Cotton travestied Virgil and Homer,
but for Mark Twain the art of Europe
and the chivalry of King Arthur serve
the same purpose, and he traveSties
them. we are told, with a kind Of
malignant joy"
To quote further:
He brings whatever time has honored
! down to the level Of a Yankee drummer.
In The Innocents Abroad" he sets Il Slur
of commences upon beauty and splendor.
| With the vanity of a crude civilization he
finds every custom ridiculous that does
not conform with the standard of the
United States.
In other words, Mark Twain the hurnor.
list is a bull in the china shop of IDEAS
He attempts to destroy what he could
never build up and assumes hat his ex.
pertinent is eminently meritorious. When
as in "a Yankee at the Court of King
Arthur" he gave full rein to his fancy
he achieved such a masterpiece of vul
garity as the world has never seen. Hi.
book gives you the same sort Of impress
sion which you might receive from {
beautiful picture over which q p%oisonou.
slug had crawled. The hint of magnif
cence is there, pitilessly deformed and de
faced.
This monstrous ~incongruity demand,
two qualities for its indulgence-a per
feet self esteem and an exaggerated com
mon sense. No one who is not confiden
that he engrosses the graces can affect t
and pleasure in thus insulting the past
No one whose sense is not common in al
respects can apply all the resources Of
vulgar logic to the creations of fancy an,
emotion.
Recurring to his theme, this writel
says that Twain is a victim to the com
mon demand, the American tendenc.
to overdo things. Humor should b.
a relief: now it is an end in itself. Blu
a reaction is inevitable, and "soli,
blocks of humor' will come to be rec
ognized as a blatant Outrage upol
good sense"
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1907-10-09
How to Cure a Cold.

The question of how to cure a cold
without unnecessary loss of time il
one in which we are all more or less
interested. for the quicker a cold is
gotten rid of the less the danger OF
pneumonia and other serious diseases.
Mr.. B. W. L. Hall. of Waverly. Va.
has used Chamberlain's Cough Remed,
for years and says: 81 firmly be.
lieve Chamberlain's Cough Remedy tt
be absolutely the best preparation OF
the market for colds. l have recon-
mended it to my friends and they al.
agree with me-" For sale by l.. E.
Blosser. Broadway Druggit.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1907-10-09
A Game That
Two Can Play
By W. Crawford Sherlock.
opyrighted. 1907, by Homer sprague.

you won't keep me waiting long,
will you, Beatrice?' urged Fairchild.
'Long engagements seldom terminate
happily"
Don't they?" inquired Miss Morri-
son provoEingly. 81 have never had
any experience"
Neither have l." returned Fairchild
Indignantly. II speak from observa-
ton. Don't keep me in suspense, but
name the day, won't you?"
why, Lawrence, we're just engag-
ed!" opposed the girl coyly. 1--WE
shouldn't talk about marrying for a
year at least"
'Tm going to Chicago next mcnth,''
declared Fairchild emphatically, land
shall expect you to be all ready to mar
ry me then"
III never marry in Chicago" assert
ed Beatrice positively. II just hate
that town"
Then why not marry me herc?"
pleaded her lover, taking her hand and
gazing earnestly into her dark Blue
eyes. "Yon have no relatives to con-
suit, nor have 1. We can do as we
please, and no one can object"
"Oh, that would be impossible!
Why, l wouldn't have time to get
ready
you don't need any more clothes if
that is what you mean," argued Fair
child. You had sever big saratogas
with you when you came to Ocean Viii
la and have worn a different gown
every time I have seen you, which has
not been seldom, to say the least"
II know, but Fairchild, however,
would listen to no objections and
pleaded so e%loquently that Miss Nor
rison finally agreed to marry him the
following Thursday.
The news of the approaching we'd
ding was soon circulated among the
guests of the fashionable Ocean Villa,
and many were the congratulations and
we'll wishes extended to the prospec-
tive bride and groom. These manifes-
tations of good feeling We're not un-
mixed with some traces of envy.
II don't see what Mr.. Fairchild sees
In that Beatrice Morrison declared
Amanda Sparks, who had entertained
more than a friendly regard for the
prospective young Benedict. "She's as
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1907-10-09
NOTICE IN PROBATE
STATE OF w

STATE oF IOWA In Probate
rawford County
In the matter of the estate of Thos. O'Connor.
late of rawford County. deceased.
Notice of Appointment of Executrix.
To Whom 1t May Concern:
You are hereby notified that on the 18th day OF
September 1907 the undersigned was duly appoint.
ed ExecutriN of the above entitled estate, and
all creditors of said estate are notified to file
claims in the office of the Clerk of the District
Court, in and for Crawford County. Iowa. within
one year from date of this notice. according t.
law. and have the same allowed and ordered paiC
by the said court. or stand forever barred there
from.
Dated Sept. 18th 1907.
MARY O'CONNOR.
39-3t ExecutriX.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1907-10-09
''wHAT!" SHOUTED FA1RcH1LD, RISING IN
HIS SURPRISE.

plain as a pipestem, and all her
clothes don't give her the slightest
STYLE"
Its her money he's after" asserted
Leslie Warren, who had made dill
gent inquiries into Miss M%orrison's
financial standing. Mrs. Rockingham
says she's as rich as can be, owns all
sorts Of land and warehouses in Chi
cago."
"Mr. Fairchild is very wealthy" as
serted Miss Sparks Indignantly, land
does not need to marry for money. He
occupies the best suit of rooms in the
Ocean Villa, has his own automobile
and spends his money just lavishly.
He's not marrying for money, that's
sure"
Neither is Miss Morrison retorted
Warren. She's not plain, but just the
reverse in my opinion; much better
for n man."
Despite these and sundry other adj
verse criticisms, however, the course
of true love ran smooth, and OIL the
appointed day Lawrence Fairchild and
Beatrice Morrison were married. A
short trip to Niagara was planned, and
then the bridal couple returned to
Ocean Villa.
Beatrice" said Fairchild the morn
ing after their return to Ocean Villa.
II will have to ask you to loan me a
thousand until l get my remittanccs.
I'm a little short of ready money"
"a thousand, I.awrence..' exclaimed
Mrs. Fairchild in astonishment. why.
l had that much money in the
world!'
WHAT" shouted Fairchild, rising in
his surprise and staring in blank
amazement at his wife. You never
had a thousand dollars in your life?
Why, l thought
"That l was wealthy. didn't you?'
questioned Mrs. Fairchild calmly.
"Weli, you never made a greater mis-
take in your life, Lawrence" Then,
with evidences of rapidly approaching
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1907-10-09
ARE YOU SHORT OF WATER?

ARE YOU SHORT OF WATER?
If so. call at the Stewart Lumber
Co.'s office, either Denison or Charter
Oak. and get the terms for a new
we'll that will yield plenty of water.
Will make it any depth and tile it
fully. In short, a perfect we'll. 1t
don't cost much either.
A. A. HANCHETT,
Charter Oak,
32-13t. Iowa.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1907-10-09

GRAND ARMY MEETING.
John A. Logan Post G. A. r. meets
End and 4th Saturdays in each month
Ut 2 O'Clock P. M. in McHenry Hall.
W. w. Rhodenbaugh ,
Commander
John L. Richardson
Adiutant.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1907-10-09

A few doses of this remedy will in
variably cure an ordinary attack of
diarrhpa.
1t can always be depended upon,
even In the more severe attacks Ut
cramp collie and cholera morbus.
1t is equally successful for summer
diarrh9a and cholera infantum in
children, aud is the means of saving
the lives of many children each year.
When reduced with water and
sweetened it is pleasant to take.
Every man of a family should keep
this remedy in his home. Buy it now.
PRICE, CSC. LARGE SIZE, sue.
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1907-06-23

orable consideration of the board; nor
should any teacher be recognized except
as to character and efficiency. Ii any
teacher be incompetent, such teacher
should have no claim for consideration.
1t is assumed that not one of the teach
ers discredited would accept reap
pointment on any sentimental plea. Hav-
ing been discredited deliberately, with
out any assigned cause or reason, these
teachers and their friends have the
right to insist on free, fair and impair
tial hearing, to the end that they may be
lighted III a public sense, as they have
been wronged by being singled out and
discredited, without any knowledge of
their offending.
In this issue, as in others, The Cau-
casian is prompted by the highest sense
of justice, irrespective of politics, COM
mercial or personal considerations.
The issue involving a discredit of
teachers can not be construed as politi-
cal. However, if it be desired to make
such issue political. The Caucasian will
not shirk from the responsibility Or the
consequences of the gauge of battle
The issue is very plain, SO very plain
that it is impossible, even for the most
reckless of partisans, to confound and
it, and it devolves on the
School Board to reach a decision in fair
ness and equity, regardless of what has
been done and irrespective of Prof.
Dianton, as one of the issue.
The teachers discredited are either
right or they are wrong.
On Friday morning next these teach
ers will appear before the School Board
to answer to any infraction, allegation
or charge against them. These teachers
propose to be heard, and when they
have been heard, the verdict of the
School Board must be pronounced with
out equivocation.
All that these teachers and their
friends want is a square deal. We EN-
3hasize: 1t is not compromise but a
square deal; nothing more, nothing less.
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1907-06-23
Passing of Tiqht Shoes.

Tight shoes? Not nowadays" said
the shoemaker. THE tight shoe gener-
alton is nearly dead. though here and
there a suffering specimen survives.
Men no longer pride themselves on
narrow. pinched feet. The broad heav-
lily shod, capable foot is now the rule
and with it have come better health.
better temper and more satisfactory
conditions in homes and Offices The
man who wore tight shoes was always
in pain. Then, too. men had their
shoes made to order and demanded a
skin fit. Nowadays shoes as good as
the best and better than any that were
made in the olden time are to be had
already made. Forty years ago men in
this country wore boots. the best of
which fitted with incredible snugness
so that it was a tedious job to get
them on or off. Such affairs would not
be tolerated. Then the
prices. too, were phenomenal, men of
fashion thinking nothing of paying
from s15 to $50 for a pair of boots.
Has the world improved? In footgear
it has and very much o."-Philadel-
phia Record
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1907-06-23
AGREEMENT REPUD|ATED
The International Association of
Printing Freshmen
HAVE REFUSED TO ABIDE.
By the Five-Year Nine-Hour Agreement
Entered Into Last January by Their
Officers With United Typothetae Un.
less Materially Amended.

New York, June 22-The Interna
tional Association of Printing Press
men, at its convention Friday, virtu
ally repudiated, by a vote of 102 &c
SO, the five years agreement with the
United Typothetae of America.
The agreement, which had been en-.
tered into January last, and signed by
President Higgins and other leading
members of the union, affected 49,
600 pressmen in book and job offices
throughout the United States. The
following resolutions were adopted by
the convention:
Whereas, Our board of directors
has renewed the agreement with the
United Typothetae of America
Resolved That said agreement is
hereby ratified and approved, provid-
ed the open shop clause is stricken
out and an amendment is inserted pro.
viding for the nine hours pay for the
eight-hour day.
Resolved, That in the event the
United Typothetae of America rejects
these amendments our board of direct
ors are instructed to submit the ques-
ton of the immediate Inauguration of
the eight-hour day to the referendum,
said referendum vote to be taken thir-
ty days after rejection
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1907-06-23
Marriages In Germany.

In Germany there are more MERGE
nary marriages than anywhere else in
the world" said William Bardel. Unit
ed States consul at Bamberg, Ger
many. This is not a reflection on the
German people. 1t does not mean that
they. are more grasping than the peo-
pie of other nations. 1t means that the
density of population and the great
number of poor people make it neces-
sary for young folks to consider the
financial side of marriage. Here in
America. where we are making lots of
money, fortune hunters are more rare
The young man in Germany who
makes 1000 marks year. about 500
In our money. is considered to have a
fairly good LIVING. But how can he
support wife on that? Hence the
questions before the contract of how
much the yoIng woman's family will
give her On her wedding day anu how
much of an Inheritance the young man
will have"
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1907-06-23
Explosion of Gasoline.

A gasoline tank rarely explodes.. II
cannot unless it contains gasoline va
por and air in explosive proportions,
which latter condition is almost never
present.
1t does not explode because it con-
tafns too little air or too much gaso-
line. Even fla tanksof gasoline were
to burst from heat applied. to its ex-
terrier the confined heavy gas would
not explode If in contact with fame or
fire. but would burn instead
True, q tank of gasoline with no vent
could DO considerable damage were it
to burst and throw burning oil and
flaming gas about, but 1000 gallons of
gasoline in Il vessels bilges would not
be so dangerous from explosion as Il
hundredth of that amount The larger
quantity would burn rapidly. while the
smaller would be sufficient, if mixed
with the proper amount of air, to ut
terly demolish almost any boat.-Sci-
entifc American.
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1907-06-23
SHORT INTERVIEW.
A Woman Reporters Visit to Robert
Louis Stevenson.

A Woman Reporters Visit to Robert
Louis Stevenson.
A number of years ago a somewhat
sensational journalist was making a
flying trip around the world for her
newspaper. She stopped in San Fran
cisco. Among other assignments for
her brief stay there was q visit to
Robert Louis Stevenson, who was then
living in that city.
Calling at his home, she was told
that he was too i'll to see any one that
day. She wrote him an appealing little
note ON the back of her card, explain
ing that her schedule would not permit
and that as an interview with him
was one of the chief objects of break
ing her journey in California she beg
ged for at least two minutes conversa-
ton.
Permission was granted for her to
him propped up in bed with pillows,
looking pitifully white and frail, she
was much shocked and regretted her
persistence. For once her usual as
surance deserted her, and she stood
silent and shy before the writer.
Stevenson, too, seemed at loss, and
after moment or two of embarrassed
silence, during which his hands were
fumbling beneath the counterpart, he
drew forth an unfinished wooden stock
ing. and. beginning feyerishly to push
the steel needles in and out, he asked:
DO you knit?.'
No" answered the reporter, and,
,glancing at the mantel clock. she real
lied with chagrin that the interview
was ended.-Youth's Companion.
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1907-06-23
ARITHMETIC 100 B. c.
Sums Over Which Egyptian Children
Puzzled Their Brains.

Probably the oldest copy book for
home lessons III arithmetic was I'M
earthed in Egypt The papyrus, which
was found in excellent condition. dates
from the period about 100 B. Chat
is, about 100 years before the time OF
Moses, or almost 5000 years ago. It
proves that the Egyptians had thor
ough knowledge of elementary mathe
MATES almost to the extent of our
own. The papyrus has long heading,
Direction how to attain the knowl
edge of all dark things" etc. Numer
Gus examples show that their principal
operations with entire units and frac
tons were made by means of addition
and multiplication. SubtractionS and
divisions were not known in their
present form, but correct results were
obtained nevertheless.
Equations are also found in the
papyruS. Among the examples given
is this one: Ten measures of barley are
to be divided among ten persons in
such a manner that each subsequent
person receives one-eighth of a meas
ure less than the one before him An
other example given is: There are sew
en- men; each one has seven cats, each
cat has eaten seven mice. each mouse
has eaten seven grains of barley. Each
grain of barley would. if cultivated.
have yielded seven measures of barley.
How much barley has been lost in that
way? The papyrus also contains cal
culations of area, the calculate of the
area of Il circle and its transformation
into square and finally calculations
of the cubic measurements of pyra-
mids.
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1907-06-23
All Had MEANINGS,

$50 the proprietor of this hotel has
big monograph that plays while you
diner"
Eyes. and some of the selections are
very appropriate. For instance. if he
thinks his guests are getting impatient
he puts on such pieces as Life Is Too
Short to Worry and All Things Come
to Him Who Waits"
HIN. Pretty good idea"
Eyes; but the last selection beats
them ALL If he thinks you might over
look tipping the waiter he puts on
Kipling's occasional. Lest We Forget:
Lest We Forget Brooklyn Citizen.
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1907-06-23
JUDGE LAWRASON AND BALLOT
STEALING.

Judge Lawrason of West Feliciana
parish, who is candidate for the office
of Lieutenant Governor, has won over
many supporters by the following de
claration: Il want the boys to be taught
in their schools and colleges that to
steal ballot is worse than murder, and
to despoil a ballot is worse than to
steal. That's the right kind of talk !;
and if all candidates and all good citi-
zens would talk that way the political
atmosphere of Louisiana would be
greatly purified in a few years-Mans-
field Journal.
Judge Lawrason is right. To despoil
a ballot is worse than to steal, and yet
this crime has been approved by acquies-
cence in more cases than one. How
often has the majority vote, as cast,
been reversed through fraudulent and
dishonest practices. There is only one
way of checking this crime and that is
TO enforce the law rigidly against every
man who will steal ballot or attempt
a fraud at an election.
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1907-06-23

The quaint old town 10y the sea call
ed Portsmouth is the only seacoast
town in New Hampshire and is one of
our very oldest settlements. for it was
founded in the year 1923. and it has
a history worth knowing. 1t was an
old town when Thomas Bailey Aldrich
was born in one of it's quaint and
ancient houses ON the 18th of Novem-
Der in the year 1886, and he has writ
ten very delightful book about Ports
mouth called An Old Town by the
Sea- while his famous STORY of
Bad Boy is very true account of
his boyhood in the New Hampshire
seaport L. Harbour in st. Nicholas.
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1907-06-23
Doc jealousy,

There is strong trait Of jealousy in
a dogs nature. A story is told of
Birmingham dog that had been great
pet in the family until the baby came
There was suspicion that he was jeal-
Gus, but he could not be detected in
any disrespect to the newcomer. 1t
always happened, however, that when
the dog was left with the baby the
baby began to cry. No signs of trouble
were ever to be seen upon entering the
room, and the dog was always found
sleeping peacefully before the fire.
Finally one day a peep through the
keyhole disclosed the canine rubbing
his cold wet nose up and down the
baby's back.-Ralph Neville in Outing
Magazine
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1907-06-23
INSPECTION SYSTEM.
Expected to Effectively Ward Off
Rack-poor Fever Entry.

New Orleans. June 22.-The marine
hospital service, which is in charge
of the quarantine against yellow fe-
yer, announced the completion of an
inspection system which is expected
effectively to ward off the danger of
the fever's entry through the back
door" the term used to describe in
lection carried by persons who do not
take sick until they have passed out
IF the state which admitted them, and
are consequently no longer suspect
ed
The Texas state authorities have
agreed to cooperate in watching for
several days after arrival every per.
SON who enters from fever district
Destinations of incomping passengers
who go to another state are immedi-
ately telegraphed to that state with
description of the passenger.
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1907-06-23
General Kurol; left Seattle for bor

General Kuroki left Seattle for home
on the 18th instant The japanese hero
gave dinner to some Of his compatriots
and expressed himself as very appre-
ciative of the kindnesses that had been
showered upon him during his recent
visit to this Countrywide People.
When, on his return to his home,
General Kuroki shall tell his people how
vast is the United States and its re-
sources, the Japs may become more con-
sentative in their view of war with
this nation, the haven for all the refuse
of Europe, Asia and Africa.
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1907-06-23
THE MANNING CASE.

The decision in the Manning case rem
dered by the Supreme Court is import
ant and it is a guide for other similar
suits i'll which the city is the defendant
Mr.. Manning recovered $50 for dam
ages to his property by Improvements by
the city on Laurel street. A number OF
citizens and property owners on that
street are the plaintiffs and in the ag-
gregate will reach several thousand dol
lars.