Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-10-19
JOBSON PUTS IN COAL

the curb In front Of his domicile, he
| rushed into the house with his arms
| swinging like fails and his breath work
| ing jerkily.
Mrs. Jobson met him in the vestibule.
He glared at her. and for a moment he
| appeared to be at q loss as to how to be-
gin.
| We'll" he said. finally. in his hoarsest
| tone. did they get married on the last
page and go or to a shooting box in
Scotland to live, with all of the ancient
| retainers OF the fief out for q lawn
party1"
Mrs. Jobson gazed at him blankly.
You haven't taken cold have YOU my
dear. and the cold developed into a
fever?' she inquired Of him.
NO. gurgled Mr.. Jobson, IT haven't
taken cold. and am not suffering from
floating kidney. nor cirrhoss Of the ear
drum. nor housemaid's knee. nor anything
whatever Of that or any other character
Tn asking you a plain question Did
| those two yaps you've been reading about
| all day in the ochre-backed novel finally
get, spiced? That's what I'm trying to
| find OUT
But" said Mrs. Jobson, You utterly
| bewllder me with such Questions 1
! haven't the least idea In the world what
you mean by
"Or. maybe" cut in Mr. Jobson. you've
spent the day with that fool. lazy woman
around the corner. playing peanut
pinochle for the ginger pop Or maybe
you've been sleeping all day-you look
kind O. feathery and tous,ed. Or maybe
you've been moping around all day with
you your hands 81 in your lap; twiddling your
| come here and look at this!" and Mr.
Jobson opened the vestibule door that he
had closed upon entering and pointed dra-
| matically to the heap of coal lying on the
pavement in front of the house.
"Well?" said Mrs. Jobson.
oh. It's well is it?" inquired Mr. Job
| son. you consider 1t all right, do you ?
| suppose your idea is that that coal, that
| nave to pay through the nose for, ought
| to be suffered to lie out there on the
asphalt for couple Of weeks till 1t gets
seasoned? Maybe you've got the notion
| that rained-on coal Is all the candy for
furnaces. is that it? Or maybe you'd
like half the dinges of Washington to be
the night. each Of 'em carrying gunny-
| sack. and. when they left this neighbor-
hood not leaving me enough coal Of those
two tons to heat a hot-water bag big
| enough to apply to a bees knee? Is that
the way you regard the matter? Because,
| II it Is. why"
"Oh. the COAL" put in Mrs. Jobson.
finally. getting his drift. why, I'm sure
| I tried hard enough to get hold of a COL
ored man to put that coal in, but all of
and I went all over the block when the
coal came and asked colored men I met
| on the street If they wanted the Job. but
| they all but ran away from me when I
suggested work to them, and I'm sure
| that /"
"Uh-huh. that's all right about what
you're sure about" poked in Mr. Jobson.
There are heap OF things that I'm
sure about myself. and one of them is
| that this dump is run and managed like
| a canal boat. Why didn't you get the
darby that brought the coal here In the
wagon to put the coal in the cellar?'
II asked him If he would" said Mrs.
Jobson in reply to that one. but he said
| that he was too busy delivering, and that
| the boss had ordered him not to take any
jobs putting in coal for folks until the
| rush was over, and
"oh. it was pipe that you'd have that
| son. You're the wriggler all right, and
| Il I had your inventive faculty I wouldn't
have to be worrying about a couple of
tons Of coal sticking around in the mid
die Of the street all night-Td be writing
six best sellers and getting coin to
weren't worried even teenchy little bit
about that coal out there in the street,
hey? Didn't bother you at all. Ell? Never
gave 1t thought? Just willing to let 1t
| and II all the fuel-swipers in Washington
swing along and pack 1t away. why, so
| much the better-that's your view Of the
| thing hey?''
son. "only. after doing the best could
to find somebody to put it in. why. nat
"Oh. naturally you thought" said Mr..
Jobson:, well. you may have thought
naturally, but If anybody actually caught
in the If thiplxfn0 ',,d ha q
twenty-to-one shot that you'd be arrested.
You naturally thought that the coal could
go and put itself away in the cellar for
al you s, cared and you left it all up to me-
"Oh, never had the least idea that
you'd have to put the coal in your
self" said Mrs. Jobson. II only thought
that. maybe. you'd be able to find some
body to put 1t in when you got home
that you'd know just where to go to find
some man who would
I'm not on chummy terms with all Of
the dinges that live in the blind alleys in
this neighborhood. madam" chopped in
Mr., Jobson. land thatll be about all Of
that. But It's all right. You get away
with it. as usual. I'll put the coal in
And, what's more than that. I'll put 1t in
before dinner. Not mouthful to eat am
going to have till get that coal slowed
away, and So II you've got any dinner
arrangements going. you might just as
we'll flag 'em till you are unable to dis
Germ one-quarter Of an ounce of coal
lying out there in the street with the aid
Of deep-sea telescope"
But, my dear" ventured Mrs Jobson,
you can't possibly put in two tons of
coal, and it's wholly unnecessary, any
how, and you'll get yourself all stiffened
up. and you'll spoil your clothes, and no
doubt. after dinner, I'll be able to run
around myself and find some colored man
that's home from his regular work and
that'N put the coal In, and If I'm not,
why, you can, If you insist, put some OF 1t
in after dinner
"Uh-huh-ane. that would be-" inter-
rupted Mr. Jobson. Eat heavy dinner
and then. on top of that. hike out and
tackle the job of putting two tons of coal
into the cellar. That's just like the pin
head 1 am, I suppose. But I'm going to
put that coal in right now, madam, and
nothing that you can say Is going to stop
me-"
Whereupon, filed with the idea of
furnishing Mrs. Jobson. Mr.. Jobson
hustled to the upper floor. changed into
very disreputabe old suit of Clothes and
then, hopping to the basement, dug out
an old wash boiler. and, after borrowing a
shovel from the corner grocery. started IN
on the job Of packing the two tons of
furnace coal into his cellar.
quite hit at the job. His neighbors
noticed what he was doing from their
front windows, and the men folks strolled
out. smoking their after-dinner cigars, and
watched him with keen interest. Some of
them even lounged out of their gates to
walk over to where Jobson was grunting
the nile Of coal