The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-05-05
James WisweIl Coffin
By GekH Burgess and Will Irwin
tcopyrlght, BY MCCLURE. philllps & Coz

sweater, "sccin' we've all
agreed to testify. s'pose yer proceed to
open tho ball. You come In fust, an
you talk fust. I amt no fly cop. but 1t
strikes me you're bit different from
the rest OF us, though we're all differ
cnt enough the Lord knows. Yer jack
ct fits yer. an thct alone. Is enough to
myke yer conspicus in this ere shop.
see good many men parss In an art
from be'ind the carnter. but don't see
none too many o. the likes o. you: II
wot ] might call amatoor at this 'ere
sort o. liyin', an one as would find a
Joke Wherever e went. You'd larn at
never Spo grow CORPSE np so Sn Seiar give
Yer that stryte, before yer even open
yer marth."
Even sol" said the youth Then 1
shall now proceed to, LEI, the process
sion Of thought wriggle. the band play.
and the Jug hop. The suspense,
know, Is something terrible, so spare
your anxiety" And with this fanfare
he began to relate:
THE STORY OF THE HARVARD
FRESHMAN.
When I received a cordial invitation
second time-on that occasion II was
for setting Off ten alarm clocks at two
minute intervals in chapel-the gov
ernor flew off the handle MY fool kid
brother, that was to side track the let
ter from the faculty. got mixed on his
signals and the telegram that the old
man sent back nearly put the Cam
bridge Office out OF business. He said
that I had fooled my last drive. and.
although good cane Is sometimes
made out OF crooked stick; he wash
ed his hands of me and would / please
take notice that the remittances wero
herewith discontinued
noticed After I'd settled up and
given my farewell dinner to the insti-
tute. where they were sorry to lose me
because was playing cyclone game
on the Freshman Eleven. had Sos, and
twelve hours to leave the college-yard.
Thinking it over, 1t struck me that the
keencst way for me to get my moneys
worth was to go out and take SUBJ
graduate caurse as hobo, do the
Wyckoff act. minus the worker and
the prayer meetings. I wasn't going
pride of the Collins stuck out--but l
was willing to stand for the rest---dast.
rust and cnders. AS n dead.head tour
list, ninety-eight bones would feed me
and sleep me for cutie q; space. !
swung on n South Boston for my first
lesson in brakebeams and tuInbled of
mighty sick at Worcester
It's a long tale, with hungry inter-
walls, until found myself in the pound,
at Peru: III; for smashing ,,n :, Al fresh e;,a
and pose up uage of tha
hustling little Western centre is paid
out OF the fines that he collects. It is
strange coincidence that when ] was
came to $40, n cents costs The judge
was hardshell deacon.
Underground pullman at Louisville. 1
was watching Senator Burke's racing
stables come In and ! was hungry
enough to digest n sandear. 1t being
work or beg, I says: Here's where
I break the ethics OF my chosen pro
fession and strike for a, Job" There re
waiter was wanted for the dintngroom
where the niger Jockeys ate. 1T Is
only a matter OF sentiment" said to
myself. "and my Massachusetts, ances-
tors ut and bled and died to make
freedom out Of the sons OF Ham. Here
goes for a feed" took the place. col,
threw chow for three meals at colored
gentlemen who buried 1t with their
knives II am the prodi ga son. SON.
There was a black exercise boy in
the bunch who played the prize Berk-
nTe about hog The ssapes TIT
held that he could lick everything Of
his weight on earth; and he acted as
though Sn he Po Eas ea4 bs
fourth meal he got gay oyer my frank,
untranNneled way of passing soup. BY
way of repartee | dropped the tray.
First. wiped off one end Of the ia
BILE with him. the way the hired girl
handles crumbs. Then l hauled him
out into the light OF day. so as not to
muss the dinng-rooms, and stood him
up against the pump and gave him the
Countercheck Quarrelsome. He was
long on life and muscle, but short on
science, and he swung miles wide. At
ter I'd ducked and countered two at
tempts, he dropped his head all of
sudden / saw what was coming. |
got out Of range and let him butt.
and when he came into my zone of fire
] gave him the knee good and proper.
His face faded into a gaudy ruin.
The superintendent came down to
restore order. and saw how merrily
iousted He was a bit strict, but he
was a true Peruvian in some ways, and
he loved scrapper. That night I got
hurry call to the office, and walked
away James Wswell Coffin 3D. anointed
assistant rubber. After the season was
over at Louisville. we pulled up stakes
and hiked on to Chicago. following the
circuit, When we moved was raised
to ht-Watchman--forty and found
Nothing happened until close to the
end of the season at Chicago, except