Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-12-21
oh, Mr.. Mullins, this is so sudden!-
IlI,,e+r,+.J D;la =
The WAY It's Done.

Illustrated BIS.
The Way It's Done.
Mother. may ! get in the swim?"
Yes my darling daughter.
Buy your gowns from a Frenchy
store.
And don't wear half you oughter.
-Lippincott's.
Shock.
Twill be more of shock,
Than Christmas surprise,
When the June groom gets next
To his wife's choice of ties.
Detroit Free Press.
His Season.
Now Santa Claus so Jolly,
Upon us starts to move,
The only stocking hoarder
OF whom we all approve.
New York Sun
Used Up.
Digby-How long did it take you to
to learn to run motor car?
Skorcher-Oh. five or six.
Digby-Five or six, what? Weeks?
Skorcher-No. motor cars.-Catho-
TIC standard ana 'llneS.
Different Package.
Roper says he always buys his
cigars by the box
II don't believe it,
"Why?"
THAT stuff is sold by the bale."-
Lippincott's.
How 1t Works.
You'd better take out some life in
surance'
go on. I'm so healthy won't die
for sixty years, yet"
But If you get a policy you'll prob
ably work yourself to death paying
premiums. Cleveland Leader.
Art and Nature.
A young artist had brought the late
Mr. Whistler to view his maiden eff
fort. The two stood before the can
vas for some moments In silence.
Finally the young man asked timidly.
Don't you think this painting of mine
Is a-er--a tolerable picture, sir?"
Mr.. Whistler's eyes twinkled. What
is your opinion of tolerable egg?"
he asked.-Harper's Weekly.
A Bright Heading.
Jacob A. Riis, author and Journal
list, was talking about bright newspa-
per headlines.
"As bright a headline as I know
said he, was written by a youth Of
Is in San Francisco newspaper Of
fee. There was bill up to prohibit
the sale of alcoholic drinks within
four miles of the University of Cali
fornia, and this bill the youth headed:
An Act to Promote Pedestrianism
Among Our Students"
A Juvenile Nature Faker.
IF I have ever nature-faked," said
Rev. William ]. Long, the gifted ma
ture writer In Stamford. II have done
so unconsciously. My knowledge, not
my veracity, has been at fault.
"You know" resumed Mr. Long,
smiling, anyone may nature fake
l through Ignorance Thus:
Zone day I was addressing some
Stamford school chaps on the subject
of bees. and, turning to a bright look
ing little chap, said:
With what part of the body does
a bee buzz, jacob"
JdCOU, CIo w Clcu COuuuSuIly, DuC
ignorantly, launching tremendous
nature fake:
It's buzzum, SIR he sale" Boston
Post.
Soldiers Tell on Each Other.
Gen. Frederick D. Grant tells this
story on his friend, Major Green.
major Green said to his servant
one morning.
James, have left my mess boots
out. want them soled'
Yes, SIR the servant answered.
"The major dressed for dinner that
night, said again:
II suppose, James, that you did as
told you about those boots?'
James laid IS cents on the bureau.
eyes, SIR said he, and this is all
could get for them, though the cor
poral who bought 'em said he'd have
given half dollar if pay day hadn't
been so for off,"
Yet He Wished Him Well.
Between emotionalism and formal.
ism in religion" says Washington
clergyman, "there is a golden mean
reflection that came, to me recently
upon the conclusion of my remarks