Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-04-06
THE PRIZE SWEARER

On a recent slippery day q black man
was belaboring a pair of Woodworking
horses httched to a coal wagon-it was on
the upgrade of Louisiana avenue. The
black man was using considerable violent
language. Two men standing by and
watching the performance one Of them an
under-sized. misunderstanding person, and
the other huge. heavy handed man. ap-
parentiy westerner, wearing an immense
ad-brfmmed hat, took notice of the
n'ack mans violent conversation.
Isn't 1t horrible?' said the small. inof-
fensive-looking man. Did you ever hear
s sue profanity, such blasphemy. in all your
The huge man with the immense hat
chuckled dryly.
Say podner, honest you don't really call
that cussin do your
Eurslng repeated the small man.
why, 1T Is the vilest language. 1 verify.
verify believe, ever emitted from human
ups since the beginning of the world
we'll that gifts my time, all right" OBJ
served the huge man, apparently most
genuinely surprised. Il reckon, podner.
you never lived in the southwest, and
therefore never heard Of scorchy Sand
No" replied the small man. 81 never
heard or scorchy sandgrass, but IL he was
IN the habit of using worse language than
's' eiHS "IIdt we re listening to now,
SIR. sounds like church meeting by COM
pafison with Scorchy's talk-it sure do
compared with the cussing Scorchy used to
s get on , when he was sure enough het up.
.iis - IKE the murmuring of low-iaugh-
Ing water. 1t honest is It's the wind whis-
per1ng through the trees. It's devo-
tiohal dialogue between a couple Of sky
p,ao.s, It's rehearsal for an Epworth
league strawberry festival. It's da -da
goo-goo, ubbsy-wubbsy conversation be-
tween a pair of infants in baby carriages
IN some park: It's chinfest between a
b houpie oi ola ladies talking about SUM-
oonnets. It's heart-to-heart chaw be-
tween pair of seminary girls about what
eney re going to wear at the graduating
exercises It's the lovemaking between a
pair OF mating cave magpies
1t 8 the-say. dye honest mean to tell
me that you never done heard of Scorchy
Sahosrass OF the southwest country? Well
& am, sure enough am. astonished! Fact Is,
Scorchy once put Washington man in q
Las Vegas hospital for four months lust
oy making a couple Of observations to one
or his mules that had cast a SHOE The
washington man was riding on the seat,
While Scorchy was in the saddle of the rear
near mule. When the mules shoe dropped
on In the sand Scorchy just hoped of his
mule. placed his hands comfortably on his
hlps' cleared his throat. careless-like. grin
ned pleasantly at the Washington man on
the seat. and relieved himself of few
observations that he had in his mind with
regard to mules that couldn't wait to cast
eAioAi SHOSS uutH lHSy GOT somewhere near
camp. The Washington man was hearty
looking, with a good rudy skin, but after
listening to just eight of Scorchy's pre-
iiminary and Introductory words he turned
somebody with the ague. Not noticing this
Scorchy, turning to the mule with the
dropped shoe, continued his remarks in the
low, even tone that he always employed on
such occasions
The mule shuddered considerably him.
self as Scorchy introduced few new
ones, and then Scorchy heard a thump In
the wagon: The Washington man had top
plea right backward from the seat. ScOrchy
mad TO waste quart or SO of precious
water. a-throwing it over the Washington
mans face to fetch him out Of the trance
but the Washington man was paralyzed
from the waist down when he came to, and
Scorchy had to turn him over to the hos
pital when he reached Las Vegas the next
day. The medical sharp said that the
Washington mans condition was the re-
suit of some severe shock
NOW, Scorchy Sandgrass never raised
his voice much above a conversational tone
when he was giving utterance to his little
complaints about things. and there wasn't
anything vicious or alarming about his
looks. either. His face was as candid as
red apple and he never reckoned on hurt
Ing or harming anybody. 1t wasthe twists
and kinks that Scorchy gave to ordinary
cussing that burnt and corroded folks that
heard him exuding peev1sh talk for the first
time :
NOW, you wouldn't tllnk that q wharf
rat Of Chicago barkeep that had been
singing red-eye on the Chicago water front
for dozen years could be burnt up by any
such cussing would you? This barkeep
mug as ever was seen from the Pecos to
the Rio Grande, and he moseyed into the
Cochise country because he was too hard
even for the Chicago levee. Scorchy Sand
this redhead was singing juice one day.
Just as Scorchy was tossing the first one
In the barkeep uttered some kind Of a re-
mark, by way of making talk. that caused
the wrong pipe. Scorchy coughed and
spluttered the booze that had gone the
wrong way out of his windpipe. pulled the
| bandanna from around his neck to wipe
his face and mouth. and then, resting his
hands on the bar and gazing pleasantly
at the wharf-rat barkeep from Chicago.
started In to utter a few thoughts that
occurred to. him at the moment with ref
erence to booze that didn't know enough
to travel in the key-rect direction.
well. that wharf-rat barkeep was the
color Of backyard red hollyhock inside
Of less than forty seconds. and before
ideas about contrary and bucking whisky
that hard ombrey Of rumsiinger from the
Chicago levee had broken out all over his
body with the worst case Of hives ever
seen in the southwest from Santa Fe to
the Needles. The sawbOnes found. too, that
the barkeep had bad case Of the shingles,
standing out like quirt welts all over his
waist line. in combination with the bad
case of hives. although the barkeep hadn't
had a thing the matter with him up to the
minute that Scorchy had strolled in and got
a part of his first drink down wrong.
''Once there was husky young carpenter
came into the Cochise country from Phoe-
nix to help a bit of hacienda building.
Scorchy, passing there with his six-mule
team, stopped off for few minutes to rest
and enjoy the shade and watch the build
ing operations. While looking on at the
job a piece of scantling fell on Scorchy's
foot Scorchy, without word, sat down,
pulled off his boot. bathed the bruise. and
then, replacing his boot. stood up. stretched
and yawned. and then began to relieve him
self of the ideas that stole into his mind on
the subject of falling scantlings and bruised
feet and such like.
'Scorchy hadn't got anything like into
his stride when that husky-lOoking young
carpenter, becoming lottery. sat down on a
pile of lumber and began to clutch at his
hair with his hands. He had a fine head of
tight, curly, brownish hair. but when he
clutched at 1t while Scorchy stood there
cussing in that even tone of his. blamed IL
two big handfuls of the tight, curly hair
didn't come right out in the husky young
carpenters hands. The rest Of the hair
was all loose too. and the zephyrs that stole
along blew every bit Of 1t from his scalp.
Ian vin~ him bald N the day ho