Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-01-19

put orassed ABOUT II, got around, 1 was
Percy-at-the- tuFnstfle and l had his finish
with me all framed up and ready.
passed him the handshaker's mitt but
when he pushed the cocktail that I'd rugged
up Tor him into his countenance 1 had to
let out the gurgles and give the snap
away. There was enough asafoetida in
that cocktail to chase a gas-house dog of a
garbage wagon. and he got more than half
or II down. The rest of II he split all over
his face and clothes in throwing the glass
away.
Il Immediately bought In a few in tho
boots end OF the leather trust and helped
him to the door that way. He smelt worse
than Giesboro Point or some place down
that way which the Marshall Hall boat
goes by. and I heard afterward that as
he headed up the main lane the bunch on
the sidewalk took to the car tracks and
yelled for the sanitary squad.
"A good many of the cheerful would he
booze extractors pretend that they are trav-
cling representatives OF big whisky firms.
L his kind of rum CRATER drifts in carry
ing satchel In which there's a bottle that
the barkeep Is supposed to believe is
sample of the whisky manufactured by
the grafter's 'firm.' and he's airy and dead
confident in his way of addressing the bar
keep.
80 Say. bo-ey.' he says to the barkeep L
hear that you're using some of that new
blend Of so-andsos. How does il rig up?
l haven't tried any OF the goods but I'm
there with any number OF marbles you
name that 1t Isn't one-two-siX with the
blend my firms marketing now. Pass It
over ana 1 III take 4 smell of 1t
The barkeep passes over a bottle or thu
goods called for by the fake whisky drum
mer, and the booze CRATER pours out
stun drink of 1t, smells of 1t with his head
cooked to one side, sips it. smacks ii crit
ically. rolls some of it around on his tongue
and winds up by gulping the rest OF it
down-a give away in itself for not ono
whisky drummer in a thousand ever takes
even fairish-sized drink, and most of
them don't drink at all
'tm. says the fake whisky drummer
then. not so bad. but it's got metallic
tang to II. and it's not in 1t with ours
Then he makes a bluff Of taking his
phony bottle out of the satchel. but hap
pens to suddenly think of appointment
remark that he'll be back in minute and
give the barkeep a demonstration of his
goods.
Get Away With the Dodge.
Now this sounds so raw that you
wouldn't believe many class A rum
grafters could get away with IT. especially
when they go up against barkeeps that
are hep. but they do get by with it, all
right. and plenty of them, at that I fell
for the scheme quite number of times
myself before I finally crawled of to a
dark place to think II over. and there a
lot of barkeeps up and down the line who
are not wise to the system yet.
only couple of weeks ago one of these
phony whisky men, stout, well-dressed
geezer, tried to get it over the plate with
me. but when 1t got around to the time
for him to make his little run away for Il
minute before coming back to show his
samples l lined up In front of the door
and told him quite several including
to the effect that he was going to be just
fifteen cents to the bad inside of eight
seconds that he going to be set
back at least So, 40 for arnca and sticking
plaster. He tried the suffering you-wrong-
me-Phyllis-play. but that was wild pitch
with me- and I was Just getting ready to
fy-fp md ha I'm Inn 10
of my right mitt when he dug the little
three-fifths of two bits out of his nankeens
and swung out Of the gate as If he needed
to catch a car.
And there Is another kind of booze
CRATER who tries the you-for-the-empty-
bag rajamataj thing by means Of the
hurry line of stuff. He comes romping in
under a head of 234 pounds of dry steam.
makes two hops of it to the bar and pants:
Some of the old stuff. quick! Got to
hustle to the train to meet my wife"-or
some cheap rig like that Then when you
hand up the jar and he pours out his swig.
he losses 1t off like the adventures in the
bum melodrama swallowing the poison dope
when she says All Is o-vair,' and then he
purrS quick and soft:
!. BY jove. this is the smallest I've got
haven't got a second to wait for change
unless you insist-spo you chalk it till L
drop by this afternoon?'
But I never do even a little bit o; sup
posing in case like that any more.
many cash registers and when l was in
shape to take chance once In a while
The lynx-eyed Gussie who gets by with
the hurry stuff on me these days has got
to be able to reel off six furlongs in four
teen fat or better, and I haven't seen any
of that stake class around here for quite a
spell.
IF you'll fall for it, there's big lot of
brass-mugged booze grafters who'll try to
hand barkeeps that I-left-my roll-inmy-
other-sut reel. They never make the dis
hat riNl
until after they've hidden away the drink.
and then they pass you the chagrined gaze
and skin their pockets as If they were
playing Who's got the button? at
church sociable. Quite few harvest
moons have come and gone since any
of the forgot-his-wad boys has trim
med me in this way. That kinks too
much on the fiimz. 1 always put these for
getful articles on the rack by telling them
that. forget or no forget, they're in hook for
the price until somebody trudges along
with the ticket and gets them out, and in
about every case these cheap shines make
another little replevin through their rail-
ment and wind up by finding a buck or so
tucked away somewhere that they didn't
know they had.
Meanest Kind of CRATER.
But the meanest kind of a rum CRATER
that 1 know anything about and one that
you can't lay for. is the fellow who drops
in at a crowded hour. when you're doing a
five drinks, piling the checks up In a neat
little stack in front of him, IL he had II
all fixed to stay week. and then, when
you turn around to get the vermouth or
something, does a quick shuttle for the
side door exit. There are not only few
rum grafters of that stripe living in the ma
tion's capital. AS l say. you can't guard
against them. This kind has a to 1
chance to sink by with 1t, and the amount
Of sneak stunts that are pulled off in III
section from one years end to another
would figure up all that L need for the
coaling of my yacht and some more. Why.
a lot OF these tin horns will order quart
of 81 wine you and plant themselves
at a table and gulp 1t down in state. and
with one lamp on the barkeep all the
time to see when he bends over for the
ice pick or something. and then they do the
two-step through the trap, and It's the
barkeep to see four dollars worth absent
when he looks up and nothing doing in the
way OF a rebate. l nailed a lob that worked
that 81 juggle on me about three months
later on a 14th street car grabbed him by
his coat and told him that / needed the
four bad. and that needed II within less
time than II takes a gnat to be somewhere
else"
The conversational barkeep looked re-