davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24
A Friend Indeed.

Word was hastily sent to his lawyer
notifying him that he wished 10 make GER
tain changes in his will
Il wish to bequeath the bulk of my
fortune 20 Josiah Tompkins." said the
rich man, instead Of distributing it as
formerly arranged"
But my dear sir" said the lawyer,
Mr.. Tompldns has never been ANYTHING
ance."
81 know II. replied the sick man. But
in all the time I have been i'll he never
once suggested a remedy, or asked me
how 7 felt"
With tears in his eyes the lawyer
changed the will
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24
TREATMENT OF PORTO RICO.
EngIsnd's Policy I'm south Africa
Might Wen He Followed.

From the Ohio state Journal
Gen. BOtha. the former Boer leader. is
nov the prime minister of the Transvaal
IN honor attained through the generous
policy toward that colony pursued by
Great Britain. In a recent speech at a
banquet. Gen. Botha said:
The manly courageous oonhdence shown By the
British % the people q the Tranaaal Is the
best seed ever sown In South Africa We w.n Prove
bE cur acts that we are worthy Of this confidence.
Our government IS as Jealous Of the honor Of the
British flag as amy ether colony Of the empire. The
message from the TransFaal Is that she wants 20
strengthen he bonds u cooperation and love and
unity Of empire.
There IS a doctrine proclaimed in that
paragraph that this country ought 10 ac-
ccpt In its conduC- OF Porto Rican affairs.
The manly. courageous confidence
shown by Great Britain" to the Beers,
we do lot show toward the Porto Ricans,
and yet the latter welcomed Us TO their
island. and have held In high esteem
their alliance In Tire United States ever
since. They are entitled 10 the manly,
courageous confidence Of this govern
ment. but It seems We haven't the couF-
age to show 1t. Make them citizens. Re
spect their sentiment OF loyalty TO this
republic That would be the manly
course.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24
No Time for Hooks.

Prom the Savannah News.
The town of Charleroi, Pa, has q
Carnegie library in which there are sew
eral thousand volumes, and the town is
rOundly taxed to support the institution.
Last year, according to a report by the
librarian just made public, there was one
solitary patron of the library. The libra
rian expressed the opinion that the peo-
pie of the town were so much interested
tn roller skating, baseball games, bridge
whist. and poker that they had no time
for books
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24
The NiIInre Pest.

II matters not how you're afflicted.
No matter what ills you must bear
No matter to what you re addicted,
You're bound to run into that snare
The one who entraps you. the fellow
Who knowingly whispers 10 you.
"Old man. your skins getting yellow
Then tells you just what you should do.
Perhaps you are grumpy and grouchy,
And duty seems naught but a pest:
Perhaps you'd prefer 10 go slouchy.
And drop into silence and rest
But he's there. you can't shake him or
block him,
And you'd like. just to give him his due,
To take a big mallet and knock him,
When he tells you Just what you
should DO
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
DEMENTIA AMERICANA.

Lots of time and unearned mon.
Naught in life but doubtful fun.
This Is what produces, son,
BrEin-storm.
Cards and dice and rapid friends.
Whisky straight or fancy blends.
Safe to picture how 1t ends.
Brain-stOTm.
Horses fast and reckless bets.
Champagne suppers, cigarettes.
Can you wonder that he gets
BTain-storm?
Jury, let this young man 90.
Not accountable, you know.
We admit he struck the blow.
But, gentlemen Of the jury,
Brain-stormi"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24
MEN AND THINGS.


According TO George H. shibiey. editor
OF the Referendum News, William Jen-
lngs Bryan will have a surprisingly large
following for his initiative ana referend-
UNI campaign Ia the Sixtieth Congress.
Mr. SHIRLEY. who has kept close track OF
the sub ect. says that 100 members Of the
next House have already been pledged
70 the initiative and referendum. In the
last campaign the American Federation
of Labor. in cooperation with the Ma
tional Federation for the Peoples Rule.
asked all Congressional and many State
candidates for Office as to their attitude
toward the initiative and referendum
the eight-hour law and the anti-injunction
law. Only those who pledged themselves
TO support these measures were supported
BY the organizations named OF the l09
members OF the next House claimed for
the initiative and referendum seventy
four are Democrats and thiTty-five are
Republicans. Thirteen Of MissOuri's six
teen members are pledged, eight of New
Works thiFty-seven, seven Of Ohio's
twenty-one. six of Pennsylvania thirty
two. and six of Illinois twenty-five. MIR.
SHIRLEY asserts that within two years the
| initiative and referendum vote in the
House viii be sufficiently strong to force
a bin embodying that idea upon the at
tention of the Senate, where. OF course,
1t is expected TO be held up.
From all Of which It would appear that
the labor vote will be lined up behind Mr..
Bryan IN next years campaign, regard
less Of whom the Republicans may nom
inate-barring only one.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24
simply Won't Go.

Winter fingers"
THAT makes Spring backward.
And he is taking advantage of her
backWardness. the Wretcht'
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24
FLEETINC FANCIES
From the Milwaukee Sentinel
One Song.

From the Milwaukee Sentinel
One Song.
No matter what the pathway
That ] must tread may be,
A haven looms for me afar-
One song still comes TO me.
hear il in the waillng
OF Wirds born Of the night
The song that ever comes 20 me
and guides my feet Alright.
BY day or night. in calm or storm,
No matter where ] roam.
! hear it still-the song that comes
And breathes % me Of home.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24
Hn,r to MnIlifr d.. strnd.

From the Louisville C0uTier,J0umal.
William T. Stead says the Americans
have cars for nothing but the clink of the
collar II they would only listen to the
clinlling of the dollar half of the time
and to ". T. Stead the other half, that
great reformer might get the peevshness
out Of his system.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24
Frances Tarin Action
the Chicaeo Raeord-Hsrala

From Tie Chicag0 hecoT1- dtTall-
The present French government is
neither reactionary nor beliigereut. It is
not looking for trouble with any country,
least of all with the United States Il is
merely reminding our stand-patters that
It still believes In real reciprocity. II IS
10 be hoped that the question will be
settled pleasantly and sensibly.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24
Highest Paid Author,

Possibly with one exception. that Of
Mark Twain. Winston Churchill earns
more money by literary work than any
other American. In the past ten years.
which covers the entire period OF his
career as an author the young Missourian
has accumulated a fortune Of several hun
bred thousand dollars, and this is being
added to rapidly by the royalties on the
sale Of his books. His publishers pay him
so cents on every one of his novels
sold. The customary contract between
author and publisher calls for only Is or
20 per cent. of the gross receipts from
sales. and most of the books of young
American authors are 'whOlesaled" at a
figure which represents 10 them only
about j. cents per book. Churchill s
Richard Carvel' is still a big seller. al
though it was his first big hit" II is
said that the sales Of Richard Carvel'
exceed the combined sales of all the other
novels written by the ATissourian.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24
But shaII WEI

1T is not always May" sighed the soul
ful poet
We don't expect it to be- retorted the
practical person. Wen be quite satisfied
TO have IL May during the thirty-one days
comprising the fifth calendar month";
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24

From the Milwaukee Sentinel
Jacob Riis says he never knew the Pres
ident to be wrong. The President could
doubtless point out an instance or two
Of his human faltibility; but Jacob
wouldn't believe him.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24

lust around the corner at the green foot Of the hill
Beneath the April shadows and the historian OF
the rill,
Oh, one is lurking, hiding. till she boomclock strikes
the DAY.
ard then shel come with roses On her rcd lips
sseet Mss Mayi
.-Baltlnsgs sun.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24

She said she could a secret keep,
But he, l fear was cheated.
They kissed. The secret, ever thus,
Was, woman-like. repeated
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24

Money is on trial in this country. and
it will be condemned"
~Not all OF it. Yesterday / met a law
yer who said he had just cleared thou
sand dollars"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24

Society" said the moraiizer, lis moth
ing but a sham, a hollow mockery."
What's the matter, asked the listener,
doesn't your dress suit ftp"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24
The objectionable SIN.

Il can't understand why that young
LADY boarder Is so unpopular. Shes a
perfect Venus"
Yes, but she consumes too much time
al her Sunday morning bath"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24

Cheer up. II the weather were not as
il is and has been for some time, you
might be pushing a lawn mower now.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24
In New York.

Policeman links was fred for per-
nicious activity"
'Peruicious activity"
The same lie insisted on patrollng
his beat ."
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24
Readily Explained.

Does your wife believe everything YOU
tell her?'
Most Of the time.
why not all the timer
Because some Of the time she know.
different"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24

From the Atlanta Constitution.
To paraphrase the sapient remark OF
one SolomOn-a vivid imagination, a COM
mand OF high-pOwer adjectives, and a
limitless flow OF superheated atmosphere
are more to be valued than rubies.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24

The supervising board that had charge
of the construction Of Pennsylvania S13,
0l0,0 900 capitol now admit that they made
some mistakes" If they had il all 10 do
over again perhaps a few millions more
might be grated.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24

What's the Constitution Of the United
States between members OF the Florida
legislature?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24

''Wyandotte is for Roosevelt" says Mr..
T. Hawley Christian, in the Detroit Free
Press. T. Hawley parts his name like
mollycoddle. but the President has proba-
bly, captured that vote, also.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24

The report that two Cleveland (Ohio)
policemen arrested d man while on his
way 70 see baseball game is, doubtless.
greatly exaggerated. They perhaps
--shadowed' him until after the game.
and then nabbed him.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24

The Charleston News and Courier says
Theodore Roosevelt is the Benjamin r.
Tlnman OF the nation" What does Mr..
William E. Chandler think OF that?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24
From scotch to Irish.

The Hon. James A. KirkwOod, probable
Democratic nominee for governor Of the
new State of oklahoma, had hard time
Of it when he first came to this country
from Scotland in adjusting his speech to
his new surroundings. His ancestors have
lived in the land Of the heather for many
generations. Nevertheless. he speaks with
a fine Irish brogue that would do credit
to Phillip Roche or Dennis Mullany, of
this city. When he came to the United
States his Scotch burr subjected him to a
good deal of raillery. so he proceeded 20
get rid of it as soon as possible. At that
time he was living with an Irish family,
not long over. and he initiated their style
Of speech so carefully that his Scotch
burr, after a season. was supplanted by
as excellent a quality Of Irish as can be
heard in the Emerald Isle. But there are
proud SCOtcnmen in Oklahoma and Indian
Territory. who, although Democrats. re-
sent their cOuntrymans change of lam
guage, and are opposing his political am
billions accordingly. SO that the candidate
is having a new kind of trouble for
American politics.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24
Telling the Truth About April.

From the Nashville American.
Twenty-one days of April and not Z
decent day among them.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24

why doesn't Mr.. John Temple Graves
shiny" on the Democratic side Of the
fence and seek to induce Mr.. Roger Sui
livan to nominate Mr., Bryan?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24

The Columbia State win kindly keep its
hands off the Hoke Smith Presidential
BOOM That boom is a Washington prod
uct and don't you forget II.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24

A Chicago woman has sued her husband
for divorce because he hasn't spoken to
her for sixteen years. Possibly the man
hasn't had a good chance.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24

The Atlanta Georgian has discovered a
Cracker who goes by the name of Fortune
Buster. He ought TO run for Congress on
an anti-eveTything platform.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24

That Iowa town which has ordained
that all "able-bodied" bachelors within
the corporate limits must marry within
sixty DAYS. probably figured that the
other kind could not escape anyhow.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24

That New Bedford man who says he is
trusting to the Lord to pay his creditors"
will probably promptly appeal to the
bankruptcy courts I'D case there is to be
any embarrassment about it.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24

Mayor Busse. of Chicago begins well.
His first message to council contained
about two hundred words.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24

The Harrisburg Patriot speaks OF some
mysterious sort of ton of coal that
weighs 2A pounds more than a ton"
That's the ton you dream about but never
see
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24

The theatrical rise of prices has at last
reached the gallery gods. Peanuts have
advanced sharply in price.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24

1t was reported yesterday that Senator
Penrose will come TO Washington to-day
and seek an audience at the White House
for the purpose of entering positive and
specific denial 20 the story that he has
ever. at any time or place, had any COM
munication whatsoever with those wicked
persons who have with malice propence
formed the rich mems conspiracy" The
Pennsylvania has been credited or dis
credited with revealing at a dinner given
By the Hon. Jonathan Bourne, Of
Oregon. toward the close of the last ses-
sion Of Congress. some Of the details of
the conspiracy. Oregon's new Senator
gave out ah interview. which was pub
lished yesterday. declaring fiat-f00tcd
against the consplrators. and demanding
as a rebuke 10 them the denomination OF
MI Roosevelt FOR a second elective
term" Report has il that should Mr.
Pcnrose visit the White House to-day he
viii emerge from the sanctum sanetorum
with a firm and immovable determination
10 support the denomination Of the Presi-
dent The quidnuncs have il that Sena-
tor Bourne. getting scent Of Senator Pen
roses fell purpose to join the third-term-
ers. put forth his interview Of Tuesday
with a view Of heading off the Pennsyl-
vanian. AT one time Mr.. PenrOse was
pledged 10 the Knox boom. but II seems
that he Is now confronted by a dark con-
spracy against his reelection to the Sen
ate. the chief conspirator in this case be
ing none other that the opulent Henry
Clay Frick. Naturally, therefore he has
a feIow-feeling for the President and is
now anxious TO Join any and all move
ments against conspiracies and conspira-
tors everywhere.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24

Give Cuba a standing army" says a
contemporary. But Cuba would rather
have an army that rides in carriages or
automobiles.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24
Frost on the Muse.

It's pretty hard
For any bard
To sit him down and sing
A heartfelt lay,
I'm free to say.
About an almOst-Spring!
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24

Here's 10 the stmk
most valuable bind,
That inhahils the residouce districts.
He doesn't sing tunes
Nor sield any plumes
But he helps cut tbs vital statistics
Portland OFesonian-
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24
Limit to Mr. Loeb,s ResponsibiIIty.

From the Rochester Herald
At any rate there is no reason TO sus-
pect Loeb OF being to blame for John
Temple Graves nomination OF Roosevelt
There is n limit to every mans response
bility for mischief
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24

Mr.. Henry Watterson says Mr.. Roose-
welt could not get a third term if he
wanted it, II this nagging keeps up, Mr.
Roosevelt will get into the next race yet
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24

Now that silent" Smith is dead and
gone. his S75,000,00O fortune has dwindled
to s10.0o0 600. Still. he doubtless knew all
the time that Slo.O00.oo0 was enough money
10 do all the talking he needed in his
business.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24

1.-THE Car is humane: I have had FIVE
interviews with him.. says Mr. W. T.
Stead He must be, indeed, since Mr.
Stead survives.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24
No Adverse Report ON Hund1ey.

On the authority of Senator Diiling-
ham. of Vermont. the statement is made
that Oscar r. Hundley, recently appointed
ia Federal judge in Alabama by President
Roosevelt, was never made the subject Of
an unfavOrable report by a subcommittee
of the Senate judiciary Committee during
the time his nomination to the position Of
United States District Attorney for Ala
bama was pending before that body. In
a lette- to Mr.. Hundley Senator Dilling-
ham asserts that the subcommittee did
not report the nomination adversely to
she fun committee, and did not even agree
on such a report A statement to the con-
trary having appeared in The Washing
ton Herald recently this explanation is
published in order that any ensuing err
roneous impressions may be corrected.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24

It Is to be hoped that the Massachusetts,
lady who has married a man named Cash
will have no trouble keeping him straight
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24

Yesterday was Shakespeare's birthday.
That is, of course, IL Shakespeare wasn't
Bacon or Rutland. or some one of those
fellows.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24

THE present outlook is that the danger
to the cotton crop in my state by reason
Of the ravages of the boil weevil viii be
greater this season than ever before, q"
said Col E s. Peters. of Calvert Tex ..
who is at the Raleigh. Col. Peters IS
thoroughly in touch with such matters as
he is the owner Of a big plantation. and
is also largely interested in the economi-
cal handling of the S0uth's principal
staple Great benefit Is expected TO az
cruc 10 Texas farmers from the new sys-
tenn of warehouses now being estab-
lished," he went on TO say. Instead Of
being compelled 10 market their cotton at
ans specific time. regardless Of the con-
ditton Of the market they may now place
Il N bonded warehouses raise money on
the warehouse certificates and await IA
vorable prices before disposing of their
holdings. One hundred OF these ware
houses have been established in Texas.
and in time we expect TO see them all
over the South.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24

Nes sofz omes. Nassau-Ieekman Bldg. LaC0ste
aIaEas.l Managers
Chicago oTies. Marquette Bldg. LaCoste & Max
well Managers
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-04-24

The Washington Herald is delivered by
carrier ia the District Of Columbia aud 81
Alexandria, Va, at So cents per WontRI
daily ard Sunday, or at Is cents per
month t0ithout the Sunday issue.
The newspaper., 1907-01-11

Wednesday. To say that the rank
and file of the republicans are well
pleased. would be slightly mis-
leading One prominent repub
lican said: 1--WE are tickled over
the appointment, don't think
Delta Laborer.
There would seem to be no
reason for objection. The gentle
man is competent, that is sure.
He is lawyer and for that reason
far more valuable than some man
who knows nothing of the occupa
ton. To be sure there we're
several disappointed applicants,
but as rule they belonged to the
class, who if appointed, would
have given the public indifferent
service. Judge Shackleford has
made an excellent selection for
this county at least.
The newspaper., 1907-01-11
Hoi for The LilyIands.

will sell eleven acres choice
level fruit land one half in bear
ing Elberta peach orchard for
5000 per acre on easy terms.
Four miles from Paonia. Water
right alone is worth $500. One
mile from Midway school house
Owner is going to the Lilylands
where he can secure 800 acres of
Colorado fruit land from Uncle
Sam at $1.25 per acre and a
water right for S25 per acre.
l. d. MCFADDEN
The newspaper., 1907-01-11

OUR good friend Ash, editor of
the Organizer, answers our mild
inquiry as to why certain social
lists voted for Gabbert. by alleging
that they are merely products OF
the capitalistic system. Then he
coneratulates himself on having
squelched all comment. If his
contention is true then SO may we
all find solace for existing ills by
signing "it is the system" Bro.
Ash is product of this same
system, also the writer, at least we
were both brought up under it.
and are both striving tor the same
result, viz: To make a living
with the least possible personal
exertion. We did not invite in
our question a discussion reaching
from the equator to the poles.
We merely wondered whether the
socialists thought Gabbert was so
good a thing that he could not be
dispensed with. Bro. Ash cannot
see that their action has anything
to do with socialism and we rather
agree with him. If he has no
solution for their strange action
we will simply try to forget 1t.
We have seen other equally con-
Trajectory political actions by
men supposed to have some little
brains. However, we submit as
fair proposal that the action OF
these seven socialists but endorses
what we have said. that they do
not seek improvement in condi-
tions. With them it is complete
overthrow or nothing. They
voted for Gabbert no doubt with
the opinion that he was nearer
intolerable than anything else in
sight, and they deemed it social
istic to cause a little additional
hardship as an educator for their
peculiar idea of what constitutes
good government.