Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1907-03-23
QUALITY OF TACT
REALLY LITTLE MORE THAN COM.
MON PoLITENESs.
Simply Means Avoiding Saying Things
That Will Hurt a Friend-Pit-
falls for the OVersympathetic
Person TO Avoid

Tact is a quality that is a good bit
of a misnomer, There's a species Of
lying that is often called tact DO
you really like this hat2 Nine Cerlse
sent IL home nearly a week ago. and 1
have been trying it on in every pos
sible angle. and have almost made up
my mind that it is not my style. Do
YOU like me in &c? Tell me frankly"
My dear. it is perfectly ducky on
you. The prettiest hat I have ever
seen you wear"
And then. as we three part at the
corner Lady Tactful says. My dear.
she looks a perfect pig in that hat,
But. after all the nice things she said
about my new furs. I couldn't tell her
so, could L."
And I said no" What else could 1
say
There's a long distance from her
method and that OF the horrid Great
ure who prides herself ON her frank
ness" and who in The expressing of &c
rides rough-shod over the most sensi-
tive souls. and who would have said:
You're a sight In that hat. I thought
so that day You wore it az Maude's
luncheon
She doesn't mean 20 Zoe horrid. and
the effect upon that unfortunate hat
would have been excellent. for &C
would have been sent back 90 Mime.
Cerise instantcr and done over. though
It's poor owner would never have for
gotten how awflliy she doubtless.
looked at Maudc's laachoOn.
Some other person who had achieved
the happy mean suppose / mean
myself; We're all inclined 90 think we
have a corner ON tact-would have
found n tiny fault. and after that had
been recognized found a dozen others
that In total had the effect OF happily
packing up the hat In its tissue cover
ings en- route 90 its maker. But the
result would have been no inward
tears nor unhappy feelings of dis
trustfulness toward the Gbbing friend
or toward The frank one. writes Mar
garet Chiffon.
Politeness goes q long way toward
smoothing the i7.A of long friend
ships. and women have a tendency 20
TOO great intimaCies. during the course
OF which small poiienesscs are laid
aside as unnecessary. They never
are. The frank person so rarely is
hurt herself by equal sledge.hammer
blows that she thinks the sensitive
person is merely lacking In courage in
facing truths. And the sensitive one
thinks her blunt friend lacking in deli
cacy OF character which probably isn't
so az all
Tact is only common politeness!
Avoid saying the one thing that's 20
Ing 20 hurt that particular friend; pre-
sumably You know her well enough to
know what does hurt. 10 means avoid
ing discussing scandals or even small
Shortcomings of the others loved
friends or relatives. One mostly
doesn't adore ones relatives for some
unexplained reason that we neverthe-
less recognize; but. In spite of that. we
usually like 20 do all the "slanging" OF
them ourselves. And the role of con
fidante on this particular subject has
its own especial pitfalls for the over
sympathetic enc who hasn't learned
the first principles OF tact
The truly tactful person is mostly
polite 10 elderly people. but doesn't
do IL as though the poor dears were
actually antique. but as though she
naturally had courtesy toward a
woman older than herself She doesn't
bubble over with sweetness to the one
shabbily dgessca woman at a bridge
Afternoon. bar quietly includes her as
part OF them an She talks to the shy
man as tholgA she found him especial.
~ interestiog. and does most of the
talking herself TN he is ready 10 con-
Quer his diIGeace. and. above all. she
doesn't comment TO others OF her min
istrations. Politeness. golden rule and
a few other long taught maxims nice
iy cover the question of tact. A won.
an Of tact is one whose love for hu.
mainly IS second only in her Hfe's de
votion, and whose watchword is un-
selfshness in thought and action with
regard TO others.