Waterbury evening Democrat., 1907-03-14
QUALITY OF TACT
REALLY LITTLE MORE THAN COM
 :. MON PoLITENEss.
Simply Means Avoiding Saying Thlngs That Will Hurt a Friend-Plt- falls for the oversympathetic
 Person to Avoid.

Tact is quality that is a good Dit of a misnomer! There's species of lying that Is often called tact. Do you really like this hat? Mime. Cerise sent it home nearly a week ago, and have been trying it on in every pos sible angle, and have almost made up my mind that 1t Is not my style. Do you like me in it? Tell me frankly"
 My dear, 1t is perfectly lucky on you! The prettiest hat have ever seen you wear"
 And then, as we three part at the corner Lady Tactful says: My dear. she looks a perfect pig in that hat! But, after all the nice things she said about my new furs, couldn't tell her so, could I?'
 And I said No" What else could I say?
 l. There's a long distance from her method and that of the horrid creat- ,ure who brides herself on her frank ness'' and who in the expressing of it rides rough-shod over the most sensi-- tive souls, and who would have said: You're sight in that hat. l thought so that day you wore it at Maude's luncheon"
 She doesn't mean to be horrid, and the effect upon that unfortunate hat would have been excellent, for 1t would have been sent back to Mme. Cerise instanter and done over, though its poor owner would never have for gotten how awfully she, doubtless, looked at Maude's luncheon.
 Some other person who had achieved the happy mean-I suppose l mean myself; we're all inclined to think we have corner on tact-would have found tiny fault, and after that had been recognized found a dozen others that in total had the effect of happily packing up the hat in its tissue cover- ings en route to its maker. But the result would have been no inward tears nor unhappy feelings of dis trustfulness toward the fibbing friend or toward the frank one, writes Mar igaret Chiffon.
 Politeness goes long way toward smoothing the path of long friend ships, and women have a tendency to too great intimacies, during the course of which small politenesses are laid aside as unnecessary" They never are. The frank person so rarely is hurt herself by equal sledge-hammer blows that she thinks the sensitive person is merely lacking in courage in facing truths. And the sensitive one thinks her blunt friend lacking in deli cacy of character, which probably isn't so at all.
 Tact is only common politeness! Avoid saying the one thing that's go- ing to hurt that particular friend; pre- sumably you know her we'll enough to know what does hurt. It means avoid. ing discussing scandals or even small shortcomings of the others loved 1 friends or relatives. One mostly doesn't adore ones relatives for some unexplained reason that we neverthe- less recognize; but, in spite of that, we usually like to do all the "slanging" of them ourselves. And the role of con fidante on this particular subject has its own especial pitfalls for the over sympathetic one who hasn't learned the first principles of tact.
 The truly tactful person Is mostly polite to elderly people. but doesn't do 1t as though the poor dears were actually antique, but as though she naturally had a courtesy toward a woman older than herself. She doesn't bubble over with sweetness to the one shabbily dressed woman at a bridge afternoon. but quietly includes her as part of them all. She talks to the shy man as though she found him especial. ly interesting. and does most of the talking herself till he is ready to con. quer his diffidence, and. above all, she doesn't comment to others of her min istrations. Politeness, golden rule and few other long.taught maxims nice ly cover the question of tact. A wom. an of tact is one whose love for hu manity is second only in her life's de votion, and whose watchword is un lselfshness in thought and action with regard to others.