davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-02-15
/ FAILED All /: I TO PLEASE.

Hls eyes make no attempt to con
ceal his admiration of the beautiful
young thing as she enters the parlor.
Indeed, he does not want them to.
you, are positively queenly," he de.
clares, enthusiastically.
An offended expression comes to
her face.
"Queenly?" she asks, disdainfully.
Yes; you are a veritable queen in
appearance" H.
Haughtily she bids him leave.
But why?''' he inquired, amazed.
"Oh, nothing. I'm a queen in ap.
pearance, am I? Well, I happened to
look over lot of magazine pictures OF
different queens and princesses to.
day, and if you think I look like them
it's time for you and me to be
strangers" Life.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-02-15
LAW WAS AT FAULT
INNOCENT MAN THE VICTIM OF
SISTERS SPITE.
Happening. That Convinced One Law
yer Of the UnreIiability of Cir
cumstantial Evidence.

One of the stcangest cases of or.
roneous conviction l ever heard OF,
and 'one which indicates the unreli.
ability of circumstantial evidence"
said the old lawyer, was where a
young man was hanged for the MUIR
der of his own father, and it was
proven after his death that he was
innocent. This young man and his
sister, little younger than he, lived
with their father, who had a small
income which enabled them to live
In comfort. I have forgotten now the
names of the parties, but the case
is one well known to students of the
criminal law, and is often referred to
IN the text books
The son had often said that he
wished his father would die so he
could come into possession Of the
property. And he had for a long
time behaved in very undutiful way
toward the old man.
"One morning in winter, when the
ground was covered with freshly fall
ell snow, the daughter of the old
man ran to the home of neighbor,
and. very much excited, told them
that she had been away all night, and
that when she returned to her home
that morning she found her father
murdered in the COW barn, which
stood little way from the house.
The netghbors went with her. They
found the old man dead beside his
cow. His head was crushed with a
hammer. There were tracks in the
newly fallen snow, from the house
to the barn. 1t was found by fitting
the shoes of the murdered man to
one set of tracks leading from the
house to the barn, that these tracks
were his. Another set of tracks led
from the house to the barn, and back
again, and the sons shoes fitted
them exactly. That they were the
sons tracks was made doubly sure by
certain peculiar patches upon the
heel and soles which fitted the tracks
I'm the sons bedroom was found
concealed in the corner of drawer
hammer smeared with fresh blood,
and with tufts of the old mans gray
hair upon it, and with splinter of
bone between the claws. This splin-
ter fitted place broken into the old
mans skull.
VI course the young man was con.
victed. It was proved that he and
his father slept alone in the house
that night, and that his sister was
away, as she testified she was. The
young man was hanged, denying his
guilt to the last.
-Four years later the sister of the
man who was hanged was taken ill,
and understanding that she could not
recover, she confessed that her father
and brother had both offended her,
and she determined to kill both, and,
accordingly, when, her father went to
milk the COW in the evening she put
on her brothers shoes and followed
him with the hammer, and killed him.
1t had been showing, but stopped
| about that time. She returned to the
house, placed the hammer where
found, and the shoes under the bed of
her brother, who was asleep at the
time. Then she went to the home
Of a neighbcr and passed the night.
"She was arrested upon her DEATH
bcd, but died before she could be
Brought to trial. kansas City Star.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-02-15

frantically galloped with a view to
sale, we should be clear of the vile
place; and I knew that the F. c..
would not drag me there again.
Suddenly she stopped. obi" she
cried.
what is it?' I asked.
BE careful! Don't look! That
article said Old Masters were quite
often bought here. On that stall
| I'm sure"
At last she let me look The head
| was certainly dirty enough, the ,colors
mellowed almost to obscurity. The F.
c.. was herself again. She attacked
the man insidiously, asked the price
of endless rubbish, and finally point
ed with contempt at the Old Master.
The F.. c. thought the price he
quoted very reasonable.
She bore it off triumphantly, hug.
ging it face forward, hoping I think
that some big dealer would make a
noble offer for it: and suddenly some
one did exclaim in surprise: "Hullo!"
| we UOLu 1OOAcu ny. ~ "dS MESs
Fenton, smarter, if possible, than even
Mrs. Buckingham.
Been buying?" she smiled. 'How
original"
Yes; I've got an Old Master" The
F. c. dubbed with pride.
Mrs. Fenton thought that she was
joking, and laughed COOL ripping
laugh. VERY old" she said. II al
ways thought it so marvellous how
Pears Annual could afford to do it.
Quite a gem, now it's vanished"
(She laughed again. II suppose
there's nothing good here?" She was
gone.
She's envious!" said the F. G. "Of
course it's old, isn't It? I wonder if
it's signed? No. Well, they weren't
alw- Yes, it is! Look! What is
it? P"
Unhappily there could be no doubt.
Beneath the dim-toned varnish there
was still legible, in bold Handwriting;
Pears" q
Neither of us spoke 1t; but the F.
c.. silently turned the. pictures face
towards her. Also she took a hansou
home. .-e..T - .'.s3t'. -2i2 : =,
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-02-15
PennelI Never Tried II.

William M. Pennell the present
sheriff of Cumberland county, Maine,
usually has gathered about him a few
of his old cronies and political SUD-
porters whenever he happens to be in
his Office.
On one of these occasions, recently.
the subject of their conversation
turned to the much-moeted question.
"Shall the state of Maine be honest?''
After several in the group had aired
their views, one of the old Jefferson.
ian" type, who had remained silent
during the discussion, "butted in"
with, Bill, do you know how hard it
is to be hOnest?" 80. -
mo" replied the sheriff, II never
tried
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-02-15
With That Excention

Il hope you had no trouble in hold.
ing the congregation while I was
away said Rev. DR.. Fourthly, who
mad just returned from his summer
vacation.
We'll, no." said Rev. K. Mowatt
Laightly, the young clergyman who
mad occupied the pulpit during his
absence, Except on one occasion. l
had announced the Sunday previous
that I should preach a sermon for the
benefit of the heather, and there
didn't anybody come 1 think the
congregation must have misunder-
stood me, somehow Chicago Trib.
une.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-02-15
Chinese Savings.

Some of the ordinary expressions Of
the Chinese are very sarcastic and
characteristic. A clustering, harmless
fellow, they call paper tiger" When
a man values himself overmuch, they
compare him to "a rat falling into a
scale and weighing itself" OVERRIDING
a thing, they call "a hunchback max
ing bow" A spendthrift they COM
pare to rocket which goes OF at
once. Those who expend their charity
on remote objects, but neglect their
family, are said Ito hang lantern
on rope. which is seen afar but gives
no light below - 49,. IS =
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-02-15
Ana Then.

Jack-You're not in love, Bob. You
only think you are. II
Bob-Well, how on earth am l Ia
find out my mistake If I am mistaken
"oh, marry the girl, BY oil rSeana.s
-Casselps journal.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-02-15
THE PARTRIDGE WAS DRUNK.
Bird Had Become a Victim Of Poke.
~: berries-Queer Antics. VIII

One night a little after dusk as we
were about to go into the house our
younger boy saw something dark NOV.
ing behind the dog kennel, says a
correspondent of Outing. The older
boy reached in as far as he could and
with the help of his father, who stood
at the other end of the kennel, he
drew out a fluttering female partridge,
that acted so queerly we could not
make out what was the matter, for
she did not seem to be hurt; there
were no bloodstains on her feathers,
no marks anywhere, but. she could
neither walk nor fly, and, what was
the strangest of all, she did not ap-
pear frightened, and every one I
think knows that nothing living is
shyer than a partridge. We marveled
at the sight as she sat quietly in the
older boys hand, breathing very fast,
but showing absolutely no fear.
Suddenly our younger boy ex-
claimed: "Oh, know what ails her;
she's drunk; she's been eating poke
berrles!" Sure enough, we had all
read about cartridges getting drunk
on pokeberries, but had forgotten it.
We took her into the house and she
sat on the table while we ate our SUD.
| per. How indescribably funny she
looked sitting there by my plate, al
lowing me to stroke her smooth,
brown, notified back permitting
wlld-Woods thing-familiarit from
each of us! Poor, helpless, drunken
little dame! Her bill would partly
open and shut and if we put her uD
on her feet she would sway and tot
ter, with half-closed eyes and droop-
ing tail and wings. How we laughed,
and how we regretted that we had
not camera and so were unable to
take her picture! What a chance for
Mr.. Job! Not another such chance
would anyone be likely to have in
lifetime
AS I held her up against my face
and felt the soft, faint little puffs of
breath from her bill against my
cheek, she seemed the very spirit of
qulntessence of all that is woodsy.
shy, remote and inaccessible, and vet
there she Was, right in my hands,
dolly, dizzily, dauntlessly drunk.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-02-15
Practical Girl.

"She had two suitors," said the per-
son who is telling of the romance in
the life of the fair young girl who had
just been married. Zone of them
thought of her all day and dreamed of
her all night. And She
and she married him."
mo, indeed. She married a man
who thinks of money all day and
dreams of it all night."-Judge.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-02-15
Family Ties.

Family les.
Diggs-Did you hear about Mrs.
Weeds?
Biggs-No; what of her?
Diggs-Why, she married her form
er husbands brother last week.
= Biggs-You don't say!
Diggs-Yes; and now she refers to
the late 1amented as her deceased
brother-in-law.-Chic Daily News.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-02-15
In for 1t,

what's the matter, my boy? You
look discouraged"
Il am. My boss invited me out to
his house to dinner a few evenings
ago."
well, that's not so bad"
You don't understand. I accepted
MS invitation, and I'm afraid now
that I'll have to marry his eldest
daughter or lose my job."-Chicago
ecord-Herald.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-02-15
An Explanation.

"Why is a great man more appre-
ciated after he - dead?'
He is not more appreciated" IA
swered Senator Sorghum. "He 10
more freely complimented because he
is less feared by envious rivals."-
Washington Star -.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-02-15
It's Different There,

Il read somewhere the other day.
said the sweet young thing, that one
of the Russian grand dukes grated to
the extent of $35, 100000 in one year,
"Yes,' replied the reinsurance off,
cial, lover There a man doesn't have
to divide up with so many people in
order to get them to keep their
mouths shut. "-Chicago Record-Her-
aid.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-02-15
Ooesht He Get It?

Ooetht He Get It?
Il have just heard of tae champion
mean man."
What did he do?"
"Ofered to give his wife alimonv
out OF the money she had Inherited
just before he married her."--Chicaeo
Record Herald. ~ .".
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-02-15
Domestic Science.

II may be old fashioned" said
Uncle Jerry PEBBLES, but I'm burned
if can see any economy In buyin' 4
Is cent chunk Of ice to keep six cents.
worth of blue milk from spoilin' -
Chicago Tribune. -.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-02-15
Lonq-Felt Want,

Caller-Are you the chap who in
vented the machine for locating fires?
Inventories.
Caller-Well, I've got an idea for
you to work on.
InventOr-What is it?
Caller-Invent Z machine for locat.
ing policeman when he is wan:ed.-
Chicago Daily News.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-02-15
Evidence.

YEP" remarked 81 Whipple, the
landlord Of the Benson Bend hotel,
"ther sausages I've bean a-feedin' my
guests air made from kanines.''
How'd yer find tibet out?" Inquired
the postmaster
"Wa-al, I fed 'em sausages fer q
week, an by Saturday every guest
l had begun ter growl."
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-02-15
Had Had TRAINING.

1--WE want man for our infcrma-
ton bureau" said the manager. "but
he must be one who can answer all
sorts of questions and not lose his
head
'That's me-" replied the applicant.
I'm the father of eight children."--
Cassells Journal.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-02-15
After.

It frequently happens that the girl
who can twist a man around her I'm
ger has an entirely different PROPOSE
ton on her hands after they get mar.
ried-Chicago Record Herald. .s
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-02-15
diplomatic.

Reporter Colonel, how do you
stand on the question of the spelling
reform?
Political Leader-Any system of
spelling that suits the plain peepul of
this country, sir, is good enough for
me.-Ehicago Tribune.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-02-15
The Same Stick.

Lady Finehealth Cat hotel entrance)
NO, 1 have no money to spare for
you. don't see why an able-bodied
man like you should go around beg
ging.
Lazy Tramp-I s'pose, mum, it's fer
about the same reason that healthy
woman like you boards at a hotel in
stead of keepin' house.-N. Y. Weekly.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-02-15
Still a Novice.

is Bunkerton much of a golf play.
er?'
"Oh, he puts up fair game, but he
still has an idea that his locker was
made merely to hang his clothes in;
Chicago Record-Herald.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-02-15

Bookkeeper Ito porter)-Take a. wet
cloth Antoine, and clean up the boss
private office. 1t looks as if he had
to write to his mother-in-law again in
viting her to make him a visit.-FHe-
gende Blaetter.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-02-15
JnfailibIe.

The beauty doctor doesn't tell
The greatest, best recipe
BY which the ugly girls may be-
Come beautiful and sweet;
And so I'm glad to give it here,
I'm a free-hearted one;
The way to be a. charmer right
Is to inherit num-"
Houston Post.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-02-15
In the Autumn

why do they call these melancholy
days, pa?" -: -. = ,.#
BECAUSE you cant live any longet
on your country relatives" H.. .ssz
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-02-15
He Made Good.

Give me a little time,' said the
young man, in concluding his gradual
Ing essay, "and I will do something
that will arouse the country"
Three months later he was making
good.
He was peddling alarm clocks in a
farming district Daily News
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-02-15
Peek-a-Boo.

When aerial navigation has been solved
And men can go
Ger the housetops and the steeples
In their daily to and fro,
Even folks in tall skyncrapers
Will, however, they're inclined,
Recognize that it is prudent
To most always close the blind
Houston Post.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1907-02-15

Customer-Couldn't you run this no,
tel without a bar?
Hotelkeeper-Not very well.
Customer-Why not?
Hotelkeeper-Because nobody vol.
unteers to tell me how to run II ex-
cept intoxicated ndividuals.-Chicago
Daily News.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1907-01-21
ROOMS WANTED.

Wanted--One or two rooms for light
housekeeping. Address A. G., care
Evening News Company.
6S45-1-21-1t
Perth Amboy evening news., 1907-01-21
NOT AN ORDINARY MEMORY.


The driver of the furniture moving
van admitted that he had very bad
memory. In fact he could hardly re-
member whet work he had performed
the day before
mo, can't recall just where it was
that Mr.. Suddenmove had me take his
household goods. My memory is very
poor. sir" he replied to the bill col
lector
But YOU moved him only week
ago."
Yes, sir, but you see we move SO
many people that it's a hard matter to
recollect"
The bill collector slipped half dol
lar in the mans palm. That ought
to do your memory good" he re-
marked.
1t ought to-" the man replied. but
you see this amt no common, every
day memory of mine, and it has to be
logged considerable. Why, it cost Mr..
Suddenmove a dollar to make me for.
get. milwaukee Sentinel.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1907-01-21
ACCOMMODATING THIEF.

Judge Landis of the United States
district court. told a good story about
New York detective.
My story concerns the boarding
house that the detective put up at. AS
he came toward the boarding house
one evening, he saw a man emerge
from the place cautiously. with a
great bundle of coats. overcoats and
trousers on his back,
This man was a thief, though the
detective did not know it. Still he
suspected something, and he said:
What have you there?"
''Clothes to be pressed sir the
thief answered, I'm from the tailors
on the next block
All see, said the detective.
Take my overcoat. too.
Certainly. sir, said the accommo-
dating thief. and he took it and hur.
ried off Buffalo Enquirer.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1907-01-21
CONSTIPATION CURSE OF MANKINE

Liv-r-oids are not patent medicine but
an eminent physicians prescription in
tablet form formula on bottle). There is
no element Of doubt in the curing power
of Liv-r-oids. They are not miracle,
but only science working along on nat
ural lines assisting nature. We want you
to baya try LErGds M = to-day they hey SELL sell st s sSc
before, send your name and address and
you will receive full sized bottle free
no obligations nothing to pay-merely
them to your friends If they
do what we claiin. Tue Vic Chemical
Co, Chieago, III. 70
Perth Amboy evening news., 1907-01-21
Different Shades.

The celebrated medium raped
three times on the black cabinet
And now, kind SIR" she said. In
a spooky voice. what shade would
you like me to tell you about?"
Why" replied tho little man in
the audience, Il would like you to tell
me the shade my wife told me to
match when ! started down town to-
day."-Chicago Daily News.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1907-01-21

The true way to cure constipation, BIT
liousness, Sick Headache and all those
diseases arising from Torpid Liver, has
been discovered by DR.. Oidman,. and his
is known as Liv-r-oids.
We ourselves know that Liv-r-oids will
cure the worst forms of constipation and
all the dangerous diseases of the Bowels
and Liver. which are such great men
ace to life. If you have never tried Liver
oids before, we will send absolutely
free to every one sending name and ad
dress, a % cent bottle of this great rem
edv. Liv-r-oids make you fceiright, anf
make you look on the bright side 'cf li:e
Perth Amboy evening news., 1907-01-21

They're All Right. What? Graham
cakes, pies and bread. 9125-12zHU
Perth Amboy evening news., 1907-01-21
CLUB ORGANIZED.
The Tayem social Club llIecls oaI-

The Tavern Social Club Fleets OFF,
GERS ut Bohnsack
The Tavern Social Club as organ
lied Saturday night, at Il phnsacks S
cafe, and the following off Sers were
elected: President. Sam lei Van
Horn; vice president, Frank kchantz;
secretary, Wells Coutts; t9kasurer,
Emil Bohnsack
The headquarters and injecting
place for the club will be at Bphn-
sacks cafe. The next meeting win be
held Thursday night.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1907-01-21
GROSS COUNTRY RUNNING.

Members of the High School Ath-
letic Association have again taken up
cross country runs. In short time
the runs will probably be taken
weekly. Looking from the present
strength of the association, there
seems to be plenty of good material
for a relay team. The school has
been invited to send representatives
to take part in the Poly Prep games
in Brooklyn February 8.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1907-01-21
FuRNIsHED ROOMS TO LET.

To Let--Large front room. furnished,
for one or two gentlemen. 173
State street. 62S4-1-17-6t
Perth Amboy evening news., 1907-01-21
TNTERsTATE LEAGUE HTANDING.
JUNIOR BOWLING LEAGUE.
Peclillar connomens

BY naming his ten children after
as many states, South Carolina val
ley farmer has proved his patriotism
His six daughters are named Caro-
lima, Virginia, Georgia, Florida, Jer-
sey and Idaho, while the boys are
known as Texas, Tennessee, Ohio and
Missouri y
Perth Amboy evening news., 1907-01-21
pecayine pomestielty.

The enemies of family life are not
SO much the modern children as the
modern parents. These maintain that
the care, anxiety, responsibility and
sacrifices necessary to bringing up
half dozen boys and girls are never
compensated for.-Manchester Eng
land) Dispatch.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1907-01-21

Furnished Rooms with or without
board. 202 High street.
6329-1-19-2t
Perth Amboy evening news., 1907-01-21
NOTICE

All persons concerned may take
notice, that the subscriber admins
traitor, etc., of Michael O'Reilly, de-
ceased, intends to exhibit his final
account to the Orphans Court for the
County of Middlesex, on Friday, the
eighth day of February, 1907, at 10
a. m, in the term of December, 1906,
for settlements and allowance; the
same being first audited and stated
by the surrogate.
WILLIAM O'REILLY,
Administrator.
Dated December 2S, 1906.
1-1-7-14-21-2S
Perth Amboy evening news., 1907-01-21

All Kinds of stove and fuy6ace re-
pairs at the Sanitary Plumbing
and Construction Co., King st. Tel
ephone 25S J. S715-9-1-tf.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1907-01-21
Treasure in Seas Depths.

The Spanish frigate San Pedro. with
seven and a half millions of treasure.
blew up and sank in Camana bay. The
Boston Diving company recovered
some of the guns and a part of the
treasure, but there is huge sum left.
Sunday Magazine.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1907-01-21
An lnfalIibIe Rule.

Mr.. James is very fond of mush-
rooms" said Mrs. James, "but am
so fearful of his eating toadstools
that almost never get them wish
l knew a way to tell the difference"
i know an infallible rule"
Do tell me, and shall be your
everlasting friend"
IF you die, it's toadstools; II you
live, it's mushrooms."--Judge.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1907-01-21
A Little Careless.

She wrote dandy sensible article
for the magazines ON how to live on a
thousand a year, but none of them
would buy it,"
How was that?Y
''She forgot to have any money left
over to subscribe for magazines. -.
Judge.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1907-01-21
Good in Bald Heads.

81 always patronize bald-headed
barber remarked the wise guy.
Because why?' queried the simple
person.
Because explained the W. g., "he
cant separate me from the price of a
bottle of hair tonic Chicago Daily
News.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1907-01-21
He Was Satisfied.

Father-ls the teacher satisfied with
you?
Tommy-Oh, quite.
did he tell you SOP
Yes; just the other day he said to
me-: If all my scholars were like you.
] would shut up my school this very
day. That shows that know
enough"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1907-01-21
Always a losing Game.

Another man who "lost all in the
bucket shops" has committed suicide.
When will pikers learn that the man
who fishes for fortune in bucket shops
Is sure to make water haul Louis.
vile Courier-Journal.