davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-10-30
Very Nicely Done.

Gallant Man (asidcl-At last I have
her all 10 myself Now can tell her
how | love her and ask her to be mine.
How shall do il. | wonderl
Gentle Maid behind her fan-It Is
surely coming am so nervous and
frightened know he is going TO be
terribly dramatic. do hope shan't
have to help him up or his knees
Goodness, why doesn't he say some.
thing? | must break this horrible ST
lencc. (Aloud. recklcssly Have you
ever been abroad?
Gallant Man tsmilinglyl-No I'm
saving II for wedding tour.
Gentle Maid tdcmurclyi Why. how
funny; SO am |.
Gallant Man mcanInglyl- why
shouldn't we take II together?
Gentle Maid dnnoccntlyl Possibly
your wife and my husband might OBJ
Ject TO going I'm such a crowd
Gallant Man brilliantly crowd
wouldn't be obJectionably large II your
husband and my wife We're husband
and wife
tfurther conversation was disionted
and lndlstlncu.-Pearson's Weekly.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-10-30
Whsrs Animals Beat Men,

Mature taking aside" said the 200
keeper. mice won't eat olco. II Is q
fact Lay pat Of oleo and n pat Of
butter side by side and IN the morning
the butter will be gone. but the olco
Will remain untouched
"Oh. yes some animals are incredi-
bly, nice about their food. The otter.
when living wild. will only eat one
piece. one mouthful out OF each fish
he catches. lie will land n beautiful
trout. but only one bite Of II from the
back. just behind the neck, is good
enough for him. The rest he tosscs
aside. This eplcuro often kills dozen
fine. big trout To make one meal
"Chimpsnzees have very delicate
tastes. A banana or a pineapple that
TO you seems delicious to chlmpan-
zee may he reVoltlng. His taste is
keener. Grapes grown In hothouses
where sulphur fumes are used as an
insecticide taste all right TO man. but
ch,mpanzce will have none OF them.
'The ichneumon loves eggs. He can
tell fresh from stale one simply
by tapping the shcll."-Los Angeles
Times
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-10-30
Thought Nine ENOUGH,

The following amusing birth notice
appeared In the Dresden Anzciger:
"To our seven hearty boys there came
today. In Gods early morning. not the
wished for little daughter, but. in
compensation, pair of fine boys. We
Judge by this elementary event that
these strenuous times demand more
men than blossoms Of the gentlcr sex.
and console ourselves with thoughts
OF our fatherland. TO which we call:
"Hurrah! Hurrah, Now there nre nine.
Firm stand and true the watch on the
Rhine!
"To all dear friends "cIuaint.
ances and to whom else tnu Joyous
tidings mny he of interest we give this
notice-the last OF Its kind-Eduard
Rost and wife"
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-10-30
He Picked Them.

An English commercial traveller Wis
itins large Glasgow warehouse made
bet with the manager that he could
pick out all the married men among the
employees. Accordingly he stationed
himself at the door ns they came back
from dinner and mentioned all those
whom he believed 10 he married, and
In almost every case he was right
How do you DO III" asked the man
ager I'm amazoment.
"Oh. it's quite simple said the
traveller. quite simple. The married
men all WHY their feet on the mat;
the unmarried ones don't"-Glasgow
Times
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-10-30
waves Of Water.

Waves are deceptive things. To look
at them one would gather the impres-
sion that the whole water Travelled.
This, however. is not so. The water
stays In the same place. but the mo.
tion goes on. In great storms waves
are sometimes forty feet high, and
their crests travel fifty miles an hour
The base OF wave (the distance from
valley to valley is usually considered
as being fifteen times the height OF
the wave. Therefore n wave twenty.
five feet high would have base ex.
tending $40 feet. The force OF waves
breaking on the shore IL seventeen
tons to the square inch.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-10-30
Overioaded.


A United States senator had been
inveighing at a dinner against long
speeches.
But. senator" said a congressman.
you can't accuse me OF ever having
made too long n speech, can your"
The senator smiled
Perhaps not" he said. "and again
but did you ever hear about the ten.
perance lecturer? No?
We'll. you must know that there
was temperance lecturer In Maine
who visited Ellsworth and lccturcd
Ne hit out pretty hard from the .houl-
der ut these 40 called moderate drink
ers. and at the end OF hls remarks an
Ellsworth man took him aside and
said in an Sggrievcd tone:
Look here. Jim. | am n moderate
drinker ss all the town knows, and
to many people IL is going to seem
rs n good part OF your lecture was
polluted straight Ut me. What did you
want to DO II for. Jimf You never
saw me with more on board than I
could carry
-'Whsts thatr said the temperance
lecturer
You never saw me with a bigger
load than could carry, did your
TIVE lecturer frowned.
We'll, no. he said slowly. but I
have seen you when | thought you'd
done better TO 90 twice for it,
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-10-30
The PRODIGAl STORY
d. ATteR TURNED HIM OUT
TWENTY YEARS AGO-hEIR
TO ONE MILLION.

Muskogee, |. r.. oct 29.-Frank
Bartch. an Englishman living at Sa.
wanna. has just been notified that
his father has died in England
and has left him an estate worth
a million dollars.
Bartch tells his own story. In his
youth he was wild and reckless and
after quarrt ling with his father, the
latter vowed that the dissolute son
was disinherited. lie left and
has never darkened the door OF HIS
ancestral home since. He left
Leeds. England. 20 years ago and
has never communicated with his
relatives. a few days ago he r.
ceived a letter from a firm Of at.
torneys in New York. stating that
they lad been searching the world
over for him. His father is dead
and his estate worth four million
dollars, could not be divided until
the missing heir was located. Three
other children live at Leeds. Mr..
Bartch will have for England as
soon as he can close up his bust.
ness affairs. but says he wig return
to Indian Territory and bring his
million with him and continue to
live on his farm.
During the Galveston food he lost
his wife and children, and shortly
after moved to Indian Territory
where he hs since lived alone on
a farm at savanna
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-10-30
Danderine.

Works wonders. tt produces hair Jus,
as surely as rain and sunshine pro
duces crops. II produces a thick growth
Of lsxuriant hair when all other rem
edies fail. We guarantee Danderine.
All druggists sell 1t Csc. SOC and $1.os
per bottle. To prove Its worth send
this ad with 10 cents In stamps OF
silver and We will mail you large
free sample. Knowlton Danderine CO..
Chicago, III. Dtf
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-10-30
A BARGAIN.

Mr.. Mason rubbed the edges OF the
umbrella with discriminating fingers
while his wife listened TO the saleswo-
mans enumeration OF Its good points.
This is so, isn't ~" he asked.
"Oh. no." replied the saleswoman re-
proachfully. "It Is $3.50"
"She seems to regard the II cents as
particularly invidious. wonder why?"
whispered Mr.. Mason to HIS wife.
Not at ALL" said Mrs. Mason. with
mild heat; nothing lnvidious' about
II. Only very naturally It touched the
girl not TO aavo you perceive that you
were getting n bargain. Com
panion.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-10-30

We offer One Hundred Dollars Re.
ward for any case OF Catarrh that can
not be cured by Halls Catarrh Cure.
r. j. CHENEY G; Co, Toledo, o.
We, the undersigned, have known
+. J. Cheney for the past fifteen years
and believe hin perfectly honorable
In all business transactions and fnan-
cially able to carry out any obliga.
tion made by his Arm. walding, Kin.
nan 4 Jarvin, Wholesale Druggists,
Toledo. Ohio.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken inter
nally. actisg directly upon the blood
and mucous surfaces ~ the system.
Testimonials sent free. Price 75 cent?
per bottle. Sold by all druggists. DIV
Take Halls Family Pills for con.
stipatioa. a..
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-10-30
Cautious.

A fve-year-old girl was very III. and,
noticing the anxiety OF her parent. she
said, mamma, do you think Tm going
10 dief"
mo. my dear" replied the mother.
1--WE think you VIII soon be better"
well" said the little one, "I'd like
TO die and 90 to heaven on visit II
was sure could come back II didn't
like the place. e."-Chlcago News.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-10-30

An amusing story Is told at STRAIT.
ford-on-Apon. In the smoking room
Of q hotel there an Engllshman and q
SootchIpan engnged In heated argu-
msnt John Bull was declaring VIII
ham Shakespeare TO be the only poet
Of tho world. and Donald McIfsrson
was standing up for his Robert Burns.
Words ran high aud blows seemed
imminent when self confident little
commercial traveller determined to
throw oil on the troubled waters.
Gentlemen" he said, stepping be-
tween the heated disputants, let me
settle this nmlcabiy. Who is this
Shakespeare-Burns?- - London Tele-
graph.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-10-30

1t may be interesting for you to
know that habitual whisky drinkers
never recover when once attacked
with typhoid fever or pneumonia. The
whisky makes the system unit TO
withstand the ravages Of the disease
md death Is always the result EInl
nent physicians all over the world
have noted and studied this fact.-E
V. Conden In Nashville Tcnnesseean.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-10-30
Looked That MaY.

II don't think she'll "rcr marry him."
said Mrs. IIenpeck. ";'hc quarres with
him so and is so domineerlng that
"She is?" interruptel Hcnpeck. "I'n
bet tn" so heop secgp'lv married al
ready"-I'h'a1clphla plrss.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-10-30
Crowded Out.

Il am thirty-fve years old" an
nounced n woman of fifty-six ut q tea
last week.
And am twenty six said the wo-
man Of forty-fve. Then. turning to a
girl OF seventeen who stood near by,
slle asked. How old are you, EthelY'
''Oh." replied Ethel. according to
present reckoning. I'm not born yet!'
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-10-30

The natives 0f the west coast Of Eu.
niatre object to being vaceinated. They
stu make offerings to the smallpox
dsvtl. The heart and liver Of fowls
and bufYaloes are mixed with yellow
rics and other Ingredients, placed In
thu model OF q full rugged ship. carried
In procession and npally launched into
the sea.-Singapops Free Press.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-10-30

Mr. Hurker-I have merely a speak
Ing acquaintance with lllss Throck-
morton. Mr. Spatts-Nou are very
lucky. M Ter other 1cuualntances
are lis'cri"g ncquaintances.- STRAY
Storles.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-10-30

First Man Writing must have been
very expensive In the middle ages.
They used feathers for pens. Second
Man-Why should they be expenslvef ?
First Man-Well, | was only judging
from my wife's hats.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-10-30

We are pleased TO announce thai
Foley's Honey and Tar fer coughs,
colds and lung troubles is not af.
fected BY the National Pure Food and
Drug law as II contains NO oDiates
or other harmful drugs. aEd We
recommend 1t as . safe remedy for
children and adults. For sale by all
drusgiets DIV
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-10-30

Take sonerning now and thea to
help the stomach. Kodol win do thi.
II 10 a combination Of natural dig est
ants and vegetable acids and contains
the same juices found In q beakhy
stomach. 1t IL pleasant to take. 1t
disests what you eat. Sold by w. 2
Frame. DIV
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-10-30
Nearsiqhted.

Ella-l have seen twenty-five sum
mers.
Stella--I wish | were as nearsighted
rs you are.-Illustrated Bits.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-10-30

Charter Oak Stoves and Majestic
Steel Ranges. Best In quality.
bIvENS. CORHN 4 FRENsLEY
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-10-30
Proef.

strsppy-When ! married You had
no Idea you were such fool. Mrs.
skrappy-The worry fact Of my con
senting to be your wife should have no
moved any doubts you had on that
Bits.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-10-30

BY looking wise and keeping his
mouth shut many a man has been
able to pass through life as the real
thing.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-10-30

Use a long-handled shove when
you attempt to heap Goals OF fire
on the head OF man who is a self.
admitted pesslmist.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-10-30

"omen are apt to ue satisfied
with marriage II the find q husband
a paying institution.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-10-30

The expert accountant who Is call
ed in to balance set of books
should have a steady JOB.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-10-30

Keeping your mouth shut Is an
easy way not to hurt peoples feel.
ings.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-10-30

He who change the sports is Sc
cretly changing the manners OF the
young.-i'lato.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-10-30

Some men use their minds as store
houses and some others use theirs
as Junkshops.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-10-30

Take Dewitts Little Early Risers
Pills Sold by w y. Frame. DIV
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1907-04-21

IT outdoors for some Of the most brutal
cross-country running 1T is likely ever
TO get. Hundreds of little adjustments
are made during this outdoor test, and
the whole machine tuned up TO a Jolt
ing and banging that brings weak parts
to the surface, you better believe.
These young men get good pay-$l5
week, Their work is not only excel
lent for the digestion. but is congenial
too. especially if one likes outdoors and
nature. And more Independent occu-
patton could hardly he asked No SUI
perintendent could follow all those feI-
lows around and boss them-to follow
even one would wreck his health. When
a young man got hold Of job like that,
it might be thought he'd hang on to il.
And yet these places are the hardest
to fill in the entire plant, says the su-
perintendcnt. He sometimes sits up
nights wondering where he can find
men to fill them.
- They quit, as a rule, in six months.
these fellows. Some stay only three II
a man hung onto one year they'd
probably send him TO an alienist to see
If his reason wasn't defective
They quit, these testers. not because
there is anything the matter with the
Job. but because they can step from
those places after 4 few months right
INTO positions as cbauireurs, at hun
dred dollars a month to begin with.
and heaven only knows how much more.
If they stay.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1907-04-21
WORLDS RECORD THINKERS.
Baseball Fans Who Were There With
Brains at Right Moment.

Tribune Special Sporting Service.
NEW YORK, April 20.-'Arlie La
than to this day is not famous for saw
ing his money, and in the old days he
had reputation of being chronically
broke says Tom LOTUS $50 long
ago / am ashamed to tell just when, [
was manager of ball team on which
Latham was playing third base, We
were on the fag end of an Eastern trip,
and Arlie ran out of cash and needed it
badly. He had touched me so often he
knew an ordinary appeal would have
little success.
'.This morning he came TO my room
with real tears in his eyes. tom my
mother-in-law is down with typhoid
fever and that robber of doctor III my
town has refused to treat her unless his
fee is paid in advance, he said
~ was touched by the appeal and
handed out the money.
"Next day Latham sought me out
and said: Tom [ am going to turn Over
a new leaf and settle down. / am going
to marry the old girl, and need $50 to
pay the parson.
" DO you mean to tell me you are
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1907-04-21

more orders. as they could not make
all the cars for months. possibly for sew
eral years.
Thus IL is not at all surprising that
practically every manufacturer of France
who had the means, either started to
build racing cars, or made engines spe-
cially designed for the purpose Of being
used on cars which were to be starters
in automobile races. The result was
that within a few years the interest in
automobiles had made such strides that
the automobile industry OF France had
taken most important position among
the other Industries OF that country.
Ten years ago the value Of the auto
mobile industry of France probably was
not above So 900, 900, while today the
value OF the plants. machinery and the
cars produced annually is more than
800. 900 900. The direct cause for this
enormous and amazing growth is trace
able TO the road races and speed trials
which have been conducted there during
the last ten or twelve years Speed con-
tests are the primary cause, efficiency OF
the cars the second cause, and RELIABLE
tty the third reason,
One cannot deal with either the history
OF automobile races, reliability contests
or the growth OF the world s automobile
Industry without speaking OF France. be-
cause there is no possible doubt that the
FreDchmen have been the principal fac
tors In bringing about the present condi-
tlonS of this industry in the entire world.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1907-04-21
JACKSON GREAT PIeur,,
Kelly Believes Colored Man W..
fries's Superior in Boy,ns

Tribune Special Sporting Service
NEW YORK, April 2o,-Peter :.
stands In Kolly's estimation az ,hs
est fighter that ever lived. s
81 was In Jeffries's corncr o.
he beat Jackson" said the sn,d.'
take IL from me that Jackson d
prime would have been able ~ "
OF Jeffries easily. They ali sav 70 :, alsl
is the best flghter ever proSrst sast
Jackson Is good enough for mo
There was another fighter wh.
got very much credit, That s' ys y
Mitchell. In limited round iV
would have been easily beaten, b", bsvs
finish fight. when the other fs,I~a,
stopping he would still be poIno
Corbett, but Tommy Ryan was "ss
good one. He had cleVerness
and was n rugged boy"
Some one was hollering ihs
night at the amateur show she...
colored fighter being hard h
out
mot a Bit" said Kelly, whsr
him. ''They are Just as easy uL.s
hand them one on the chin ae H.
man. They don't stand body bIc,
well-anyway, most OF them dopa@'
And as L was looking AROUND a.
easy way TO quit, Fisher SURE.
Spider" that he tell us about M i
ball,
Kelly frightened In a fash ana
wrapped yards and yards Of tsit
that ball.
But 1 can't give another ons
said, and sobered quickly, at,n,f
town settles down bit more"
And IT'S our one best bet thai
glorles more in his ball than IN q
balance of his career
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1907-04-21
PEOPLE WANT SPEED.
Slow Automobiles Are Out Of Fashion;
High H. P. Chug- Chugs Wanted.
Tribune Special Sporting Service.

tribune Special sporting Service.
NEW YORK. April 2O.-speed, more
speed This Is the universal cry today
in the United States.
1T does not matter whether an auto
mobile Is able To travel at sixty miles an
hour a railroad train at seventy miles
an hour. or motorcycle at eighty miles
an hour-all still are too slow. People
want 10 go faster, and there IS no telling
that some Of us Will be satisfied, even
II an Edison invents some ingenious de-
vice by which We may be gently
Thrown" through the air at a 100 0miles-
a-secoud rate OF speed.
The manufacturer of an automobile
racing car which Is able 10. go success
fully at the rate of l20 miles an hour
thinks II Is not yet tast enough and VIII
spend thousands and thousands of dol
lars, and possibly sacrifice his life, in
order TO devise some means by which
he will be able to build a car or
freak" that Will be able to travel at a
rate OF l25 miles an hour, And If he Is
successful he will keep up his expert
ments until no one else VIII have been
able TO do better than he.
The mania for speed so far as auto
mobiles are concerned started in France.
where thc FIRST successful motor cars
were constructed. At first ii was purely
business proposition and the thought of
racing did not enter into the considera-
tion OF the manufacturers.
Gradually. when several manufacturers
had succeeded in building successful
automobiles and when 1t became a mat
ter OF showing the points of superiority
OF one car over another. the claims were
made by all the manufacturers that their
car was the fastest To prove this 1t was
suggested that the various cars be start
ed together FOR the purpose of covering
a certain distance. and the machine
which would cover the entire distance
first would be considered the best,
There is no possible question that in all
countries, TO the majority OF the people
the winning ear IN a speed contest is
considered the best car. The automobile
manufacturers Of France have found this
to be public opinion ever since the first
automobile races were run in that coun-
try. twelve years ago The manufac-
tureTs of the winning cars were immedi-
ately "swamped" with orders, and while
the other manufacturers also were given
some business. this was merely on ac
coun, OF the fact that the manufacturers
OF the winning machine refused TO accept
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1907-04-21
WILL IMPROVE TRAm
Walk Round System Of Bookies
Considered Gambling by Povsr

Walk Round System Of Books
Considered Gambling by Povu
Tribune Special Sporting Service.
WASHINGTON, April 2o.-Ths Wa
ton Jockey club has decided upos
improvements for the Benninas 4
Two meetings have been run vItbo,
reference by the district authorfis
though the last decision regarding M.
was adverse to the bookmakers.
Introduction OF the walk-round ~
has satisfied the powers that no r
bling-in the sense OF the laT-I
place at the track Because Of ~
previous decisions, il is certain =
will be allowed To continue Inds5-
under the present ruling body, The m;
ington Jockey club. Assured n
steps will be taken 10 make the "A
ington course one OF the finest, n ~
best, In the entire circuit. Thouss,s
dollars Will be spent 10 make The h
fast, AT present. because 1t Is cor
largely OF heavy sand. II Is all tts
from two TO three seconds SLOW t,|
mile. A brand new top dressing VI
provided and all summer rollers WI b
II so that surface similar to thai
vlded at Sheepshead Bay and Bhr
point OF view. this is the main seafu|
the betterments planned. But fru1'
average racegoer's idea, the oths7
provements Will be far more Of inir
1t is planned TO tear down all tho q
and kitchens close to the club hous|
build new. larger. and more compiled
along the back stretch OF the Cok1
course. The space formerly occupl1'
these buildings will be laid out In 4
way style, with shrubbery, flower
walks and trees, and VIII be accti|
to patrons OF the club house. The
ital City Traction company Will III
three-rrack spur from BenningB ro>'
full quarter OF a mile, TO the enu>
TO the grandstand