davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-22
A MONUMENT TO A HUMoRlsT.

Word comes from st. Joseph, Mich,
the birthplace of Ben King, that his
fellow citizens are to honor him with
a monument. The world has not been
accustomed to erect monuments to
humorists-probably King Is the first
to be SO immortalized. But the move.
ment is typical of and age appreciat-
ing numor, and why should not stones
be erected to men who make us laugh
as we'll as to the soldiers who have
caused the world to weep?
OF the many whimsical verses which
King wrote none are better known
than mis-
If should Die Tonight.
II Il should die tonight.
And should you come to my cold
corpse and say,
Weeping and heartsick DER my lifeless
clay
If should die tonight
And you should come in deepest grief
and woe
And say. Here's that ten dollars that
/ owe
l might rise in my large white
And say, Whats tnat?"
If should die tonight
And you should come to my cold
corpse and kneel,
Clasping my bier to show the grief
you feel
say, if I should die tonight
And you should come to me, and there
and then
Just even hint'bout paying me that ten
l might arise the while;
But I'd drop dead again.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-22
NOT MUCH TO 1T.

Bremen County independent
an easy job it is to tell how to raise
ugar .beets!
For instance, you have signed
contract agreeing to raise five acres
for the Waverly factory for the 1908
season.
Now all you have to do is to select
five of the best acres on your farm.
Take five acres of your richest soil
that is in the best condition in all
respects. 1t should be well drained,
Take five acres of loan, slightly
sandy-not very much sand-that has
raised clover for two years; which
before you seeded 70 clover You had
kept heavily MANFRED.
Before the LIST Of next month plow
lit seven inches deep and turn o1cr
every inch of it. Do the best job OF
picwiEg OH ever cid in your lie'.
Don't mind harvesting the second crop
of t!!:.'. ina = Under. Now let It
alone till next spring.
AS soon as it is dry enough next
spring, take the best disc in Bremen
county. Disc it east and west, then
north and south. Leave it few
weeks then harrow it. Just before 1t
10 llilO w pluil IilC OOOe cSSo Nit'S ~
two ways again. Then harrow it
and plank it; then plant the seed
Pretty soon the beets will be up and
when they are an inch high com
mence to cultivate. Cultivate once q
week or oftener. Pretty soon block
them: Leave only one strong plant
in a place and have them about IL
inches apart in the row. And while
you are blocking kill all the grass
and all the weeds in sight.
Then cultivate some more, anG
then cultivate again and again. Their
hoe them. Every hcer should have a
hoe that is sharp and bright so it will
scour Don't let any weeds grow; cul
tivate until the leaves cover all the
ground between the rows.
If any time in August there are still
a few weeds growing with the beets
put them all out some day while vol
are resting! Have nothing growiaf
on these five acres only sugar beets
and you'll have good crop.
You see it S not much of job tc
raise-that is, to tell how to raise
sugar beets!
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-22
cLEws OPPOSES FINES.

Instead of assessing heavy fines a.
gainst corporations found guilty of
breaking the laws, Henry Clews be-
lieves that better purpose would be
served by sending the offending heads
of these corporations to jail. He be-
lieves that this would have tendency
to settle rather than disturb the mar
ket whereas heavy fining is not equi-
table as the loss falls In many cases
on innocent stockholders who had no
knowledge of nor part in the unlawful
acts. This view of the situation has
been given widespread expression by
those favoring radical measures in
dealing with the corporations, but
Clews is the first of the conservative
banking interests to lend it his sup.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-22
DAVIS couNTYs GREAT.

For years Van Buren, county has
been won't to boast of the large num-
Der Of men born and reared within its
borders who have achieved greatness.
These claims have never been disput-
ed although some have been mean
enough to say that the Van Buren,
county sons had to leave their native
county before the greatness was
achieved or thrust upon them.
But all this time Davis county has
been quietly working to secure list
of native sons to refute the Van Buren,
county claims Of supremacy and the
Bloomfield Republican now shows this
list and is waiting to hear what the
Keosauua Republican will nave to
say about 1t:
Congressman j. A. T. Hull, now of
Des Moines
Speaker Geo. w. Clarke, of Dallas
county. a possible candidate for gov
ernor.
Auditor B. F. Carroll, who may be a
candidate for governor
Gov. F. NJ Drake, who was elected
from Appanoose county.
Gen. James B. Weaver, who was
Iowa's only candidate for president
having been the populist candidate in
1892.
Henry Monheimer, the worlds fast
est typesetter.
Marley Kittleman, the worlds fast
est foot racer.
Will Van .Benthusen, the worlds
highest priced managing editor, who
went from the Chicago Tribune TO the
New York World and died during the
Spanish war
II must be admitted that Davis
county makes a creditable showing
And now why not start genera
movement Of this character? Let al
the counties make out list of thell
native sons who have gone abroad ane
become famous or who have stayed a
home and achieved renown. When the
| lists are completed they can be group
ed together into a volume that will SCI
forth clearly the part that Iowa's sons
have taken in the affairs OF the natlon
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-22
WHERE NATURE REIGNs.

Maquoketa acknowledgements Is
the breathing spell of the year. Then,
If ever, man harks back to Nature and
from her ample bosom receives the
nourishment which his primeval soul
Graves The man who cannot leave
for a little the artificial atmosphere of
man built cities and towns and seek
rest among the eternal hills and run
ming brooks is indeed unfortunate. The
man who will not do so is worse. For
what does one live anyway? 1t 1t
food, raiment and shelter from the
learning? 1t is simply to pass briefly
from the cradle to the grave. or is
there something In life to be extract
ed as We pass through-some fruit
whose juices are sweet even though
Man does not live to eat,
Life means more than the acquisition
of vast accommodations of wealth or
knowledge. The problem of living is
frequently unsolved by either the
savant or captain of finance and the
answer given by some modest tillcr
of the soil or day laborer. August is a
good teacher of real living. To one
who basks in her sunny smiles, apart
from the "madding crowds she whis-
Ipers the futility of artificia1ity, or
what the world calls success-fame-
life. She sooths the fever or unrest
and instead gives peace. The exalta-
ton of her soul influence leaves an
unmistakable imprint on the soul and
wipes out the pettiness of existence.
Blessed be August, and may her star
never grow dim
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-22
CHILLY" SUNDAY.

Charles City Daily Press.-FDr one
hour and a half night before last we
listened to Billy Sunday. During that
flight of time, If there was heard the
charm and power of oratory, the mar
shaling of welded facts and logic
which moulds the conviction Of men,
the pathos which crystalizes human
emotions into tears, appeals which so
to the reasoning power of men, the
entreaty which persuades, the draw
ing of ideal pictures which portray the
home where vice and wrong domi-
mates and those where love and
Christianity holds the scepter of en-
tillated in the address of John 3.
Gouth in his pleadings for his fellows
to be sane and sober, we failed to hear
or observe any of them in Mr.. Sun
days address and yet we are told his
evening address was a model one as
compared to his afternoon effort .
= His grations gesticulations,
turning, twisting, falling on the plat
form, Initiating his lungs, trotting
across the platform, Shaping his
hands and feet together, yelling to the
high key Of the human voice. execut-
ing a cloudburst Of words in which
vituperation, ridicule. irony, sarcasm
slang terms, had the right of way
from start to finish, and dominated to
the exclusion of everything else; ex.
celled and outclassed any platform
rendition we ever hear in our life.
| He told a lot of truths but we felt
as the wife did when her husband
came home, went to bed, began to tear
up the bed clothes and kept yelling to
his wife that he was going to die and
! she replied she had mo doubt about
1T, but goodness gracious, don't make
such an exhibition of yourself in exc
cutting the act, and coyote SO as to dis
turb the neighbors! It can be done
in daaant WAY for our home Ia en-.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-22
SUSCEPTIBLE TO oRAToRY.

Manson Democrat-The limit of big
otry has been reached in northwestern
Iowa where bunch Of twenty-six mis-
guided people in Ireton have signed a
petition of remonstrance against the
running of Sunday passenger train
on the Northwestern railroad 1t is
extremely doubtful If there is any
sane religion on earth that will sub
stantiate the view that those poor, be-
nighted creatures take Of public ne
cessity that must be operated on the
Sabbath day. But smooth talker
can go out into the highways and by
ways of the country and induce people
to sign petition asking the president
of the United States to commit suicide
so it may OF be just right to condemn
the bigots of Sioux county for trying
to block the wheels of progress with
their little petition.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-22
my countrymen! Behold it in

my countrymen! Behold it in its
stately glory. See 1t waving it's
emerald blades and its white tassels
like the neaving Of the ocean Note
the wide expanse of deep green ex-
tending to and merging with the horri-
ION in all directions. forming picture
that moves the spirit like the majesty
of the sea. There were days when
the crop was in peril, but. happily,
they have passed. The hot days and
nights that melted humanity worked
a miracle with corn. 1t has grown
marvelously and the yield will be a.
bundant and the prosperity of the
Nebraska husbandman will continue
and this will be another year of jubilee.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-22
PLEASANT GROVE.

Pleasant Grove.-Lonine Fine, wife
and son were guests at Eldon Sunday
Mrs. J. B. Kendrick and daughter,
Elva, visited at the Marion Hancock
home Sunday.
Miss virgie Croft spent Sunday at
the Jackson Peden home.
Mr.. and Mrs. Frank Brooks aud son
visited at the George McVey home
Sunday.
Jack Simmons was caller at the
M. B. Smith home Friday.
Mrs. Herbert McVey and Miss Ethel
Strickland visited at the Minear home
Saturday
Miss Maggie Smith spent Sunday
with home folks.
Mr.. Pain of Bloomfield called on
Charles Crook recently.
George McVey is on the sick list.
John PARROT transacted business in
Ottumwa Tuesday.
Mrs. Martin Smith and daughter
Bessie weer shopping in Floris Mon
day.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-22

port. In his weekly financial review
Mr.. Clews has this to say concerning
the punishment of corporate misdeeds:
The remedy for corporation law
breakers is punishment of imprison-
ment of the guilty individuals connect
ed Herewith. II the government and
state officials will announce this as
their future policy, confidence will at
once return to the stock market and
securities be in demand for invest
ment. Corporations whose officials
are found guilty should also be taxed
for all legal fees and court expenses.
Big money fines fall mostly upon In
nocent stockholders who have had
nothing whatever to do with the wrong
acts, hence big fines as penalty de.
preciate values as they threaten con-
fiscation. while imprisonment in place
thereof will advance them, as it puts
them on more reliable and honest
basis.
Mr.. Clews does not believe that the
governmental activity against the cor.
with the drastic liquidation on the
stock market General excuses, such
as the over-extension of credit. over.
issue of securities and over confidence
have been the main and natural rea-
sons, he believes
Wall street, he says, has endured a
shrinkage in values far exceeding that
of any panic on record, and the fact
that these losses have been endured
without disaster he holds to be remark
able testimony of strength in the f1nan.
DIAL situation.
In answer to the Roosevelt critics
he holds nothing the administra
ton could have said or done at this
time could have checked the recent
downward movement, because liquida
ton from natural causes was inevi
table
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-22
The Fairfield chautauoua.

Fairfeld.-With the proper amount
of dust but with cool weather the
fourth annual chautauqua opened here
yesterday afternoon. Fully 5000 were
in attendance at the first lecture,
which was given by j. Adam Bede
of Minnesota on the subject, "Civili-
cation, It's Cause and Cure"
The opening prayer was made by
President w. E. Parsons. Rev. j. w.
Potter, the platform manager WIS
greeted with hearty chsutauqna ia.
lutte when he appeared on the plat
form. President G. ]. Fulton of the
Ichautauqua association made an adj
dress. The initial concert Of the Dixie
Jubilee Singers made big hit.
Mr.. Bede's lecture dealt with pres
ent conditions in America and COM
pared them with those Of a generation
ago, his tone being very optimistic.
He expressed it as his belief that tho
world in general was growing better
and proved his point by means of apt
l. y chosen illustrations.
Last night Paul NJ Pearson enter
tanned large audience with a lecture
recital on the poet. James Whitcomb
Riley. He appeared again this morn
ing in plantation Days In Song and
Story"
Two Fairfield young men were mar
ried in other towns yesterday noon.
Miss Fay Wood Of Mount Pleasant
and Walter Louden Of this city were
united in marriage at the brides
home. The young couple are at pres
ent enjoying their honeymoon at Lake
Michigan points. They will reside in
Fairfield
Miss Mary Work of Clinton and Ray
Mulkins of Fairfield were married at
the home Of the brides parents in
Clinton at the same time the Louden-
Wood ceremony was being performed.
Mr.. and Mrs Mu1kins at once left for
Chicago and there Joined Mr. and Mrs.
Louden and are spending few days
on the lake They will also reside In
Fairfield
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-22

Catholic society also held a meeting
and selected their president, Alloys
Harmeier as their delegate.
John West and family Of Kansas
City arrived Wednesday for a visit
at the f. X. Smith home.
A son was born to Mr.. and Mrs. Dan
Cook Monday, Aug. IL, 1907.
Company A, 1. N. g., of Fort Madi
son. which was attending the army
maneuvers at Des Moines, passed
through this city Monday evening en-
route home.
William Culligan, t. ]. Lampe, DR.
F. H. Dierker, Melchoir Boerger,
Joseph Boeding and Henry Lemmer.
attended the regular meeting Of the
knights of Columbus held at Fort
Madison Tuesday evening.
Mr.. and Mrs Frank Troja, who had
been visiting at the home of Mrs. Tro.
jas parents, Mr.. and Mrs. John Stuck,
| ey, returned to their home at Fort
addison Monday.
| Mr.. and Mrs. Charles Martin return,
ed home Tuesday evening from an ex-
tended visit with their son, Will Mar
tin, at Seattle Wash.
| Miss Dora Greene of Burlington II
visiting at the home of her parents
Mr.. and Mrs julius Greene, west Of
town.
Mrs. J. M. Pohlmeyer and two chill
dren returned home Monday frorc a
visit with relatives at Fort Madison.
They were accompanied by ME..Pohl-
meyer, who spent Sunday at Fort
Madison.
4 Theo. Vonderhaar and John Wall
Jasper have gone to Mt. Pleasant to.
Iday to attend the fair in the interest
of the West Point fair.
Miss Nora Kiener of Fort Madison
Is visiting at the home of her par.
ents.N Mr.. and Mrs. Joseph Kiener,
west of town.
i Herbert Rodman, who has been visit.
ing for a few days at the home Of
his brother. q. G. Rodman, returned
to Kahoka, Mo-, Tuesday.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-22
FREE ADVICE TO cHAuNcEY.

Note-Chauncey M. Depew may
purchase home in Paris.
Oh, Chauncey M. Depew,
Do your stories pass for new
In Paree?
Does your manner debonair
Make the people over there
Te-he?
Do you hope with grimace bland
To make that enlightened land
Guffaw?
Then make sure the French don't
chaff,
And don't tell you when they
laugh,
He-haw.
Kansas City Times
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-22
WHEN THE BOSS GOES az.

with apologies to 1.-THE Days Gone
By"-)
When the boss goes by! When the
boss goes by!
With frown upon his forehead and
glitter in his eye,
Then your fingers get a-tremble and
your hair is all erect,
For the presence of the boss has such
"a terrible effect;
And your tongue Is thick and palsied
and your throat is hot and dry
And you stand in silent anguish till
the boss goes by
When the boss goes by, then you
work like mad
And your skin is twitching like that
of horse that feels the CAD,
And a clammy. Icy SILVER gambols
wildly up your spine
And Your eyes grow weak and blinky
and they have CLASSY shine.
And you cannot do things easily, no
matter how you try,
For you have a case of stage fright
when the boss goes by.
When the boss goes by! Is his eye
on you?
Is he searching out the plumbers In
the tasks you have to do?
All. the clinging perspiration beads
itself upon your brow,
And you lick your lips and mutter
that he's sure to fire you know
And you shrivel till your spirit isn't
fourteen inches high,
And you always make an error when
the boss goes by.
When the boss goes by! When the
boss goes by!
You would give the world for courage
to defy his steely eye:
You would give 1t all to meet him
with an air Of confidence.
But some way or other you are always
put on your defense,
And your nerves are all unraveled and
you pulses madly fly,
And you're like a silly mucker when
the boss goes by.
st. Louis Republic.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-22

It is pleasing to learn that secre-
tary shaw's proximity to Wall street
has not tended to destroy his goo5.
old Iowa optimism. If Wall street
had more men of the Shaw calibre
and the Shaw knowledge of the coun-
try's real conditions there would be
less pessimism displayed every time
the administration makes faces at a
corporation.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-22
. e c REMOVES
>. =. >. BLOOD HUMoRs

infected unhealthy effect
shown the skin in the form Of rashe erpion other
skin disease These hnnlors circulating the blood
itching
troubles applications Of
Such treatment alays of the itching and
blood troubles
eugh cleansing Of the blood the only for humo in the blood
S. S. acting safe blood purifier
circulation and neutal the and them
seau "a snsts;r sp and paen a FROM d;ss.ss
Eczema letter Salt Rheu pples bols all
hunors which
to who WRITE
THE SWIFT SPECIFIC CO., ATLANTA, GA.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-22
h. Rassett Gambler. Dead.

Kansas City, Mo-, Aug. 2o.Joseph
Bassett. 70 years old, for fifty years
gambler Is dead at c. @. Maltby'a
farm, seventeen miles west Of Kansas
City. Bassett had been blind for
seven years and during that time. be-.
cause he had no money, Mr.. Maltby
cared for him wife from whom his
was separated. daughter and two
sons survive him.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-22

strike OF the telegraphers is. attract
inc good deal Of attention, good
many Of us would be glad to know
what they are striking for.
Didn't Stay Put.
Minneapolis Journal--No, this is
not the same telegraph strike SO
triumphantly settled by Commissioner
Neill few weeks ago.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-22
Let il Alone.

Grundy Democrat. The best thing
anyone can do for the corn crop is
to let 1t alone Iowa corn crops have
made record that the farmers ought
to he willing to depend on.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-22
The Worst,

Sioux City Journal.-Judgment on
the claim that Kentucky is the
worst governed state in the union"
should be suspended pending the final
report of the Pennsylvania capital
commission.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-22
THoRNHURe MAN MISSING.
Doug Baker Has Not Been Seen Since
Friday-Family Fear Something
Serioue Has Happened,

Sigourney, Aug. 15.-Doug Baker,
farmer living on the west side of
Thirnburg. directly adjoining the cor
poration limits has been missing since
last Friday and no trace can be found
of him anywhere. Searching parties
have secured the country all around
tho taWn and over his field but ne
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-22
Slow.

St. Louis Globe-Democrat.-Only
forty-six general laws have been pass.
ed by the British parliament in the
last five years. 1t is rare legislature
in the United States that cannot beat
that score in a single session.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-22

The jamestown exposition has
proved such a poor money maker that
Uncle Sam is reported to be consld-
ering the advisability of stepping III
as gate keeper to assure the payment
of the government loan made to the
fair. Expositions are running the
course Of the county fairs and the
street fairs.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-22
The BOYS Were BUSY.

Iowa City Republican, seems
the K. P.'s had SO much lodge poll
tics at the grand lodge that the boys
failed to settle things political for
next year.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-22
IOWA PRESS COMMENT.

Des Moines Tribune.-The man
who shores in sleeping car comes
almost as near being public enemy
as Rockefeller.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-22
]. WINNEkA, JR., A DELEGATE
Chosen to Represent West Point catE
Ollie Society at Dubuque

West Point.-At a meeting of the
Roman Catholic Mutual Protective So
ciety held in the hall, Joseph Winneka
Jr., president of the society, was
chosen as delegate to attend the
meeting of the German Central Cath
Ollie society to be held in Dubuque
the week Of Sept. 9. The Young Men, 8
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-22
The Public js Interested.

Waterloo Times-Tribune. The tel
egraph monopolies may find that their
business is of public nature and
that the public may have something
to arbitrate, even though they
haven't
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1907-08-22
a COMPLIMENT.

Marion Register-The Ottumwa
Courier is now in its Goth volume It
is splendid paper, has been always.
but never better than 1t Is now,