Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1907-03-22
DRIFTwOOD
BY LUE r. VERNON
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The cheapest thing in California
IS sunshine, and the cheapest in Ken
lucky is moonshine.
Some men think they are turning
over new leaf when they try a diff
ferent kind of plug tobacco.
The public seems a little less en-.
thusiastic than formerly for a train
that can run so fast it will meet it.
self coming back.
I could never understand wbv q
preacher will insist that no one else
be allowed to earn wages upon the
day he terms Sunday but himself.
It's a puzzle to me.
Mrs. Evelyn Thaw visited the
Dead Rat Cafe in Paris, and drank
champagne. In New York she visits
the Tombs and drains the cup of
misery, despair and humiliation.
Voice Over the Phone: "Shay,
Central, l wanter-hic-talk ter me
-hic-wife."
Central: What's her number?''
Voice: Quit cher kiddin', will
yer? amt no Mormon"
l am in receipt of letter, post.
marked Gate City, wherein the writ.
er asks: What is the difference
between a gown and a creation?" !
can't give the querist the exact fig.
ures, but it's a small fortune.
Why men want protection" who
are engaged in business from which
they have emassed fortune, and are
piling up large amounts of the
yellow stuff as profit, each year,
is more than l can understand.
The New York Journal says of q
girl just introduced into society,
that she. is society flower, long
budding, but about to blossom. u
Out here, on Puget Sound, that
would mean she is getting pretty old.
An Iowa farmer, visiting in Salem
Oregon, writes back to his home
paper as follows: THE most o.
anything nave seen raised In tnt
Willamette Valley. so far, consists o.
umbrellas" o, Marion, Marion
Isn't this terrible?
My boy" said the willy polite
ian, take the advice of one who
knows, and do not seek that Office
You will find it only an empty bar
ren honor" Besides" said tht
willy politician, after the young mar
had thanked him and left, Il want
that Office myself"
We have the two-steps POGO
hontas," Minnehaha" and so on
Now, if some Puget Sound musician
would only produce the two-stel
"Chief Seattle, Chief Joseph, OF
the waltz Aunt Angeline," W,
could hold our head up with tn,
musicians of the East.
First Olympia Girl: why is i
novels always have a good ending?"
Second Olympia Girl: "Well, tn,
one read yesterday didn't have /;
good ending"
First Olympia Girl: 1T didn t?'
Second Olympia Girl: mo; nam
ma threw it in the fire."
How often we are reminded O
Archilles sulking in his tentp ex
claimed an Olympia man to the mem
ber of the Booster Club from Ia
coma. YES" replied the Tacom;
resident and Booster Club member
a little doubtfully: am told tha
circus people are rather ill-temp
ered."
An Olympia small boy asked tn,
other day:
Father, what does credulou
dupe' mean?"
-" My boy" replied the father, Il
means man, who, after living fort,
years on Puget Sound, leaves hi
umbrella at home because the wealth
er prediction is Fair"
The newspaper interview some
times produces extraordinary results
There are cases where the gentleman
interviewed never said anything o
the kind attributed to him; there ar
cases where he has said somethin.
of the kind, but was entirely mis-
represented, and there are case
where the interview never occurre,
at all, and believe the latter is tn
most common.
Life is made up of extremes, an,
though they seldom follow close upol
each other, yet now and then it doe
occur, in the awful mockery of fate
as if it were to try the extent of hu
man endurance, and to show, at tn
same time, how narrow is the pas
sage and how slight the dividing
walls of the partition between tn
utmost realization of happiness ant
misery.
:" If this world was all truth, hon
esty and goodness" said Bill Nye
1--WE could get along with half tn
brains" Fortunately we are en-
dowed with the ability to discrimi
nate and to select the good fron
the bad. You choose a. newspaper