Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-06-15

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The husband who -nexar4 goesaayt de-
serves a wife who never stays in.--The
Cynic.
us Willie still paying attention to
Tillie?' mo" Did he jilt herr"
mo, he married her Punch.
Anna, you wished to buy dictioRs.
aryT II have married professor
instead. "-Meggendorfer Blaetter.
Look. Arthur, that Is our baby"
How do you know?" 81 recognize
the back of our nurse"-Der Wahus
Jacob.
Madge-IIas she good memory?
MarIorle-So-so. She's always remem-
bering things she's forgotten.
Topics.
She--You can always tell Harvard
man, He (from New Haven't
but you can't tell him much.-Harper's
Weekly.
Mater-What is 1t, pa? Has Henry
been expelled? Pater-Worse! He
part in the college play.--Puck.
as her husband SO unendurably stu
pid?' ''Oh, dreadful. The only time
he brightens up is when she talks of
divorce seattle Observation-Disclosures.
Harker- Slowboy Is all right, when
1t comes to looking ahead. Parker
Yes; but he's all wrong when It comes
to going ahead.-Chicago Daily News
The society reporters always speak
of a bride being lied to the altar just
as though bride couldn't fad her way
there ld.-Phlladelphia Ledger.
II hear you are having trouble in
meeting your creditors" Trouble In
meeting emf Great Scott! My trou
bic is lodging 'cm. Cleveland Leader.
Politician Before you send In your
report Of this Interview l want to see
1t. Reporter-Imposslble | sent 1t in
half an hour before / interviewed you!
Life.
Saplelgh-~I'm learning to play the
aw--harp. doncher know. Miss Caus-
| tique--Indeedl Has your physician
given up all hopes Chicago Daily
News.
Pardon me, sir, but Isn't there an
other artist in this buildingf' Artist
We'll, that Is matter of opinion.
There Is another fellow who paints
The Model
my mistress isn't at home, ma'am.'
please tell her when | saw her peep
ing from the front window as | came
up, | felt so afraid she was."-Balti-
more American.
Judge Prisoner, have you anything
to say to the court before sentence Is
pronounced2 Prisoner beg the court
to consider the youth of my attorney.
White and Black.
when your mother-in-law fell into
the water, why didn't you help to get
her out2 "My dear madam, you must
know that nothing I've ever done has
pleased her."-Judy.
Mabel (shocked with the recollection
of IT. Isn't Edith's new hat just hor-
rid fright? Ethel Gas IL receiving con-
gratulntlons)- Isn't it2 | helped her
select it, Browning's Magazine.
First Reporter see by the last edi-
ton that our old schoomate, Jones,
has committed suicide. Second Re-
porter Hurry down and you may be
in time TO prevent his doing it-Smart
Set.
Money doesn't always bring happi-
ness and peace OF mind" "You are
right there answered the man with
an anxious look sometimes 1t tempts
YOU TO buy automobiles. w Washington
! Star.
There are nervous women there are
| hyper nervous women But women so.
nervous that the continual rustic Of a
| silk skirt makes them neryous-no,
there are no women 50 nervous as that!
B'licgende BIactter.
Man Ito frend)-I am done with
doctors henceforth! One OF them adj
yised me to sleep with my windows
| open. ] did so, and the very next
morning my gold watch was gone from
| the bureau.-Fliegende Blaetter
why have you taken your son out
Of school without permlsslonp Father
! "a grocery But they were running
him; | wish to bring him up to carry
on my business, and they were teaching
him that there are sixteen ounces In a
| Iound.-Il Motto per Ridere.