The Washington herald., 1907-10-27
Maria'S Midnight Lectures.
LECTURE NO. II.

letters Of credit have all been stopped,
and there's TooFs Halsey over in Paris
with nothing but letters Of credit HIS
ma told him when she gave him let
ter Of credit for $500 never TO draw out
more'n so at a time. and the next
time TOOts wants so and goes to the
Bank Of France he's likely 10 be turned
down. How he'll get back home don't
know. see that Mr.. Cortelyou's given
the New York banks $4,000, 600. never
knew he had 30 much money 20 give
away. Wish he'd give us some Of It.
OF course, I suppose he only gives It
out to failures-but If that's true. yoU
ought 10 have had your share long
ago, Job; heaven knows. you amt so
much Of a success-sleeping all the
time.
Isn't it funny. Job, how these Van
derbllts and people like that object TO
being photographed. I can understand
it IN the case Of Mr.. Morgan, with his
funny nose, but why Mr. Vanderbilt
should object 10 them taking pictures
unless It IS that the Duchess has had
troubles enough without that. And then
I see that Count Szecheny-I guess
that's right, il sounds Ike the noise
you made sneezing when you had hay
fever, Job; he's going to marry one OF
the Vanderbilt girls-he smashed a
camera, too. I tell you these foreign
counts are getting too nervy. If some
body'd break his name 1 wonder how
he'd like it.
And so they say now that Mr Fair
banks IS not going TO be a candidate
/ suppose it's all because he wasn't
elected a Methodist delegate, and be-
cause Of those few cocktails. I tell
you, Job that's an awful warning OF
what drin5'u DO to a man. Here's Dr..
Wiley telling US now that the soft
drinks at the soda fountains aren't fit
10 eat If this sort Of thing keeps up
there won't be buttermnk enough 10
go around Not that ! ever liked the
stuff. il gives me bOns You remember
the lasc time / drank bJttermilk and
got a boil on my nose so that Miss
Wilson had 20 come and take care Of
the children? Wasn't that funny about
the New York messenger boy who ran
away with $3.50 and couldn't spend a
cent? I never understood before what
they meant when they talked about an
embarrassment Of riches. Why. he
couldn't even buy a ham sandwich for
a five-hundred-dollar bill If he'd have
gone down % Wan street he could have
got rid Of It easy enough.
Did you see where a lady got a postal
card that was mailed TO her seven years
ago? Leastways she probably sent #
TO the nail seven years ago and her
husbands been carrying it around in his
pocket ail this time. Men are so care
less. I remember when I wrote ID
mother asking her 10 come and visit
Us how you forgot To mail the letter.
and I found &c in your coat pocket six
y onJhs afterwards I never could under
stand til then why il was that mother
was SO mad az u.s. Poor mother, she
never f0rgave YOU Job. and that's the
reason she left the meadow pasture To
Cousin James instead OF us
JOB. ] know were not society folk.
but wish you'd try and get us put on
the White House reception list I see
that Mr. FrOhman's going % give shows
there this winter ON the1ter 90 be
built over the tennis court. I'd Ike
awfUliy 10 go 10 some of the shows
They Amt going to cost 3Ir Roosevelt
nothing so long as he puffs the shows.
and he might as well let a lo1 Of Us in
free. The first play is to be George
Cohan's Running for Office" If they
can get Mr.. Fairbanks TO take the star
part.
I see that the Masons have been in
session IN Washington this week.
thought it was the Bandits. seeing as
met Harry New walking Up the Avenue
with Mr. John Barrett the other day.
Yes. Harry New used 10 be a bandit:
him and Romeo Johnson and Frank
Bird, and a lot Of them fellows from
Broad Ripple Mr.. News here to see
about calling the Republican convention
that's the one that's going 10 nomi-
nate Mr.. Bryan for President-maybe.
There don't seem TO be much foreign
news in the papers this week. Job.
About the only thing I've read OF is
the Emperor Of Austria's cough. He's
got eight or nine doctors. and they
amt killed him yet bet if he could
use some Of that goose-grease we rub
bed on little Emilys chest il would fix
him all right. but don't suppose they'd
allow a body 70 rub an Emperor's
chest. Oh, yes. there was that news
from Russia. TOO. about the WaIincs
being arrested. III bet that made VIII
English mad. he hates notoriety so. I'll
bet he got out his military uniform. you
know he was in the Spanish warrior a
few minutes-and let people know who
he was You know young WaIiug is
sociable or a protagonist, or something
like that, and anything that ends with
'ist' the Russians just hate What's
that, Two o'clock. Wen. well and I've
got 10 take little Haley to church to-
morrow. Goodnight Job. dear. thanks
for all your information. It's so good
of you.