The Manchester journal. [volume] (Manchester, Vt.) 1861-current, 1907-05-09
CbistIes.

rs GR6s - 80
bui rssas. Do Bet beat The 'afnfiurs ~
,bs sssas time Tie DeiEheort fnasli
form . wrong tmpFVas,on-
= Esxleigh II cAwnl understand
Why a u THAI 200 arc always osi saes
I hapysH 70 call. doBelssT know hfs
Bnghs Oh. ibag's easily erplssaed' !
vas boru under iaeks saas.
-Ths Offer o, your heart sad hand
i very ea8Aeu. said ssss NBriioh' bot
Iwill n1e Il. Al. RAsped The dry
goods clesf. surprised aud badly rat
tlsd. vii you-.r--take 4 rllh yoa -
sbAil send i hons'
SO lohuuy i alDosi in high SCHOOL,
Yea hos had splendid marks N SHIT
ding and bead work and baking pow
der biscuits. II be were only liiiie
naore careful IN sesing squares, J
shosldn'i b. bii afrsid about bis
passing.
Bat. George, you promised you'd
be a good boy. Well, ypu see, man
INA, | was jus, trying 10 make true
when yoa ,old Aunt Matilda, What did
] ieil Aunt MR,iidA' You told her !
vas promnin' child.
--ciisn, 10 matrimonial agent The
girl you introduced mr 10 il At least a
bead taller than ! Am. Matrimonial
Ageni-oh, you must overlook little
thing like that Yon can't have every
shing.
- Hsyen'i you anything smaller :
asked the druggist when the customer
handed him asl0O bill. Yes, but don't
believe you'd wan, il. Why mott It's
apleoe Of court plaster tha, got IN q
barber shop and have been using all
morning.
My husband. says Mrs. GAdAboui,
u 30 careless about his clothes. His
buttons are forever coming of. Per
haps, suggested Mrs. knor, they're not
sewed on very well in the first place.
That's just IL. He's dreadfully slip.
shod about his sewing.
You are in position TO be praised
for many things. Yes, answered SEN
ator Sorghum, but sometimes mans
influence does not depend so much on
What he is praised for as on what he is
appraised for.
Peter Persimmon--So dc OF Ren'l-
man keeps yo' wife in pin money! You
0ugh, " be glad oh dat Sam Sunhow
er-Id lax 10 know why. He keeps
Der in money 10 buy rollin' pins to
ihump me ober de hsid wild.
--Gracioas' exclaimed the economi-
cal mother, thought had cut down
this old suit Of your fathers SO il would
d. you, bu, il seems entirely too large
yet. Yes, ma replied the bright boy,
especially the wide ex-pants.
Customer TO waiter)-Whats the
meaning Of this' Yesterday you gave
me twice as large portion as today.
Waiter-Where did you sitf Customer
by the window. Waiter-0h, that
accounts for il We always give people
by the window large portions. It's an
advertisement.
"A bicycle policeman Of the same
nationality appeared against a man he
had arrested for fast riding. How fast
vas he goingf asked the Judge. Pretty
fast, answered the policeman, As fast
a. man can runf Yis, your honor,
he was going as fast as two min can
run.
My friend, said literary bohemi-
an TO his friend, an artist, since we are
misunderstood by the world, we must
form = society for mutual admiration
among ourselves, therefore proclaim
the superiority Of your art and declare
you TO be the equal of Michael Angelo.
And what do you admire in met Your
good taste. said the other.
The little four years old daughter
OF minister friend Of mine was given
a little washiub and board for Christ
mas. She had often heard her father
erhorting sinners 10 have their sins
washed away, 80 when she received her
vaShtub and board she seemed much
pleased and said Now. mamma, | can
wash all my sins away.
II cannot imagine, said the woman
with the short sleeves, why in the
world the Eskimos live in their coun-
Try after they have learned what is to
be had and seen in civilized places. just
think! They have no theaters, no ho-
6ls, no trains, no street ears, no shops,
no schools, no churches, no clubs, no
yachts, no scandals. They positively
have nothing that we have. Possibly
thai is the reason they stay where they
are, yeniured the man with the dinner
jnckei.
The wife Of the professor Of Eng.
iish has been long known and feared
IN our college community for the cor
rec,ness and purity Of her language.
u requires courage 10 speak out I'M
shrinkingly in her presence. while 10
address her in writing would require a
bold heart indeed. Some time ago she
visited our greenhouse 10 see some rare
plants then in bloom. Upon entering,
abe rushed TO the flowers. exclaiming:
Are these they' Them's um, mum,
replied The stolid English gardener.
"A certain John Simmons had been
Atwsniy years abstainer, but fell from
the ways OF grace and vorshiped the
vinons god with all the fervor Of per.
rert. Feeling the need Of recuperaiion |
he sent his boy 10 an adjacent hosiery |
Tor bottle Of whisky. But, cried the !
hc.el proprietor, who's il forf For my
father, said the boy. Nonsense Your
father is total absiainer, and has