davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1907-09-19
He Knew.

A newly arrived westerner was con-
fronted in street of New York late
at night by a ruffian with leveled re-
volver, who made the stereotyped de-
mand: Give me your money OF I'll
blow your brains out"
BLOW away" said the westerner.
You can live in New York without
brains, but not without money"
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1907-09-19
EfectuaIIy Disguised.

Tess-There goes Bess Mugsley.
Jess-Yes. she played the part OF
the heroine in the private theatricals
at our church
Tess-The ideal Did she have the
face to play the heroine?
Jess-No; but the costumer fixed
one up for her.-Philadelphia Press.
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1907-09-19
Blind Swimmers Swim STRAIGHT.

1t is a puzzling fact that blind swim
mers are able to hold. an almost per-
fectly straight course for considerable
distances, though no more guidance is
given to them than some species of
call or whistle from the end of the
course. A blind man, in fact, desiring
to go in straight line, possesses the
curious power of being able to do so
almost exactly.
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1907-09-19
Put Out of His Mfe.r,.

When a man has a bad breath"
said Cooley, of course he should
try something to stop it,"
Yes" replied Savidge, he should
be given something that will stop it
altogether"
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1907-09-19
VALUABLE LAN0
70 r s AL {

| offer for sale 700 acres of very val
liable land lying in Washington Cout tv
virginia. This land is in the very b, IT
state of cultivation. yielding fine crops
Oh gram and grass, and has valuable
improvements so arranged as to make
It possible to divide the tract into three
farms of nearly equal acreage. giving
each farm good residence. orchard
water and general improvements. THE
land is practically level, with sufficient
timber for fire wood and farm use.
This property lies within one and n
halt miles of Emory and Henry Collere,
depot and stores; three miles to fine
mill, and three-fourths of a mile TO =
free school. Taking into Consideration
convenlences, neighborhood. schools ard
roads, this is one Of the most dpsirahly
located pieces of property in Washing
ton county, and would make a nnst
suitable location for anyone wishing "a
Vocational and social advantages for
their family. Would be glad TO answer
inquiries or show property to anyone
Interested. Address
Box No. 3.
augzzm4 Meadow View, Va.
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1907-09-19
He Was Rinhf

Examiner in Physics-What han
pens when light falls into the water
at an angle of As degrees?
Student-It goes out!-Royal Mag
azine.
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1907-09-19
n y " Norfolk q Western
Schedule in Effect July IA, 1907.
Leave Tazewell Daily for Biuafield
l:S5 p. IN. 1927 p. M.
For Norton
9:3l g. m. 1925 p. m.
Laws HiCEY.r1
EASI HOUND.


EAST HOUND.
$40 a. m. for Rosnoke, Lynch, y
NMiolk and all points On Sheuans., =
Division. Pullman sleeper AMI Cafe &, r
% Norfolk Pullman sleeper Roanoke /,
New York, vis Hsgerstown.
S 4 4 T.. daily Tor East Radford, Roam
sc and intermediate stations.
300 =. IL. Tally for Ruar9ke. I,v,.-bhor,
nd lnt' rnTsdiate stations ard the She,
ndcah Valley. Pullman sleeper Well,
10 fhiis,ieiyhi. ria HsZerstown.
SIS p. ID fer Roanoke, yr,rhs,nr..
BIC n Dad, Norfolk. Pullman slaeper -
NoDk and Lyuchburg TO RichIpons.
cafe csr.
WEST BOUND.
go F. IN Tor Kenova via. Wavne
GEO a. m. for WEIGH and lo1al s,gi!,rs.
3 :. Ia. for Welch, Williamson K
nova. Portsmouth, Columbus and no,l,.s
West. Pullman sleeper 90 Cnlnnhns
Cafe dining ears.
2:4u >. ~. for Wslch and inferp,sdia,s
stations. Pullman sleeper.
500 p. ~. fcr WEIGH. Williamson, Ke-
nova, FuT'~:nouJh, Cincinnati. Colnmbrs.
+. l. 20 ~ he West. Pullman sleene.s
st. Louis aud Chicago. Cafe car.
iNr olS''' mel inf.r nation. spply At
ticict oihce vr to
~. y RFVIII. MF. BRAGG
L. 4--s. AL: Ia ss-r AIT
Roanoke. Va.
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1907-09-19
Still of the Same Mind

"Only three years ago you used TO
say l was a dream"
We'll, you've no reason to be dis
appointed in yourself. You're a bit
OF q nightmare now"
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1907-09-19

raEEvER 8 GILLESPIE, LAWYERS, Tszewel
Cga Practice n the courts OF Tszewell and ad
dining counties. Ofhce--Gnlespie building
Edgar L. Grcever Barns Gillespie.
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1907-09-19
Deceivers.

Benny-Do figures ever lie?
Dict-Women's figures sometimes
do.
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1907-09-19

q t. ALDgRsoS, ATTORNEY AT Law, Ta1e-
II we'll Va. VIII practias In the courts Of Taze-
we'll county and the Court Of Appeals at Wythe-
VILE. Collecting speciality.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-07
AYHAWyER JOTS

The Lindsborg News suggests that
in view of the threatened timber
famine the Missouri Pacific railroad
company is waiting for ties to grow.
1t is related that a McLouth boy made
a mistake in setting his alarm clock
and the result of the biunder was that
he husked 1o5 bushels Of corn before
noon.
Bob Wilkinson caught a thirteen
pound 'possum in a tree east of town
on the Walnut the other morning NOW
then for a feast of con pone. 'possum
and yams.
A negro under arrest in Parsons gain
ed some sympathy for himself by
claiming to have been in the Rough
Riders. until someone happened to dis
cover that the presidents old regiment
was exclusively Caucasian.
A Ieayenworth man who was never
known to visit school to see how his
children are progressing. is rebuked by
the Post for walking five miles every
sunday to see IL his horse is getting
along all right on pasture.
Wichita has discovered that Cham
Clark, the celebrated congressman from
Missouri, once lived within the confines
of the Peerless Princess. He cut Germ
there for living and when he had
earned the sum of one dollar he pack
ed his bag and left the city. He had
gone there with the intention Of prac-
ticing law. -s.s,.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-07
GLOBE SIGHTS.

from the Atchison Globe.1
A boss girl always makes a Dos:
All men like to be called bad, In
a laughing kind of way.
To be just right, the New Woman
should be just about sixteen years old
When a man loafs he does nothing
but when a woman loafs she Is busy
foolishly.
times falls in love with his wife sec
ond time.
"Pull Up Your Suspenders, There's
Fringe on Your Pants,'' Is the title OF
a new song
A man needs a friend not to fat
ter him, but to strengthen him at his
weak points.
The poor man who gets rich often
affords the best example of a thor
oughly mean man.
To make some men succeed, for
tune has to stop knocking at their
doors and break in.
If your enemy Is not reliable and
honest don't tell on him. He will
get his without your assistance.
No man has good sense who thinks
it is smart to swear. Get over the
habit. boys, as early as possible.
If clerks could learn the old mans
wants as easily as they can master
his signatures, there would be more
big salaries.
ct wouldn't mind getting fat" said
a woman today. eff could tie a string
around my waist to keep the fat from
going down"
One of the most annoying things
possible is to be frequently thrown
with fool who refuses to acknowl-
edge that he Is a fool.
Until some great authority definite
" locates conscience, people will
never know whether they should re-
pent or take liver remedy.
When Daughter lights the parlor
fire, Father always roars to Mother,
being a little afraid to roar to Daugh-
ter, "What blamed fool is coming here
tonight?"
The rule was established several
years ago that a man cannot be sue
cessful in business and in fishing at
the same time; there is no use trying
to change it now.
When you hear someone say in a
relieved tone of voice in response to
a question: Eyes, thank goodness"
you can make a pretty safe guess on
what the question was: HAS your
company gone homer"
At a Coolidge card party the other
day there was a stiff-backed woman
who sat in the chair so erect that she
didn't touch the sides. Every time
the other players, in dealing the
cards, moistened their fingers, her
eyes flashed, and, finally. she could
stand it no longer, and said to the
dealer, "I'll take mine without spit
If you please
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-07

heard me tell about our college
pranks. Mark, this is my kid sister.
She smiled up at Luttrel1 from under
the brim of the broad hat BOD lot
and Luttrell saw that, as yet, she nad
not recognized him as the man OK the
umbrella episode
ST remember your picture stood on
Bob's chiffonier." he told her. 1ou
wore your hair in pigtails. but you were
awfully pretty. and fell in love with
you"
oh" she said, blushing beautifully:
"Sit down and have dinner with US,
Raymond insisted. Felicia and l have
the evening before us. It's raining, so
we might as well stay here for awnlle.
He turned to give an order TO the
waiter, and Luttreu leaned toward re
licia.
hold my umbrella over the cherries.
There was dead silence for a moment,
and then she whispered nervously, On,
you are the man? Oh, what old you
think of me?"
he said, fervent1y. a.,
Her dimples came out in full force. !,
am afraid you would get awfully tireo,
she said, but her eyes dropped before
his glance.
Come up and see u.s. Bob said that
night as they parted.
"On one condition." said LuttreI, as
he held the fur lined wrap for the VS.
ion in blue, that you let me fall In love
with your sister,"
"Feiicia?" Raymond scoffed She's
nothing but a kid"
"I am old enough to know my own
mind. Bob" said Felicia with spirit. :.
And what is your mind?" Luttreil
asked, as they went down the hall TO-
gether.
Her eyelashes swept her cheeks, and
hid her eyes, IT don't know" she said
demurely. "Perhaps-perhaps you hao
better come-and find out"."-CCopy-
rfghted. 1907, by Homer Sprague)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-07
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.

IFrom the Philadelphia Record.1
The pink of propriety-a maiden's
blush.
No man can be honest without con-
slant practice.
1t isn't always the high flyer who
builds castles in the air.
Some fellows are always being either.
shown up or called down
An ounce of hard work In worth a
pound of physical culture.
Even when a girl is a good locker she
may have to consult the ocuifst.
Under the present rules the football
seems to be thing Of the passed.
It is quite natural for a man to look
downcast when he is on his uppers.
Some people couldn't even crack a
Joke without hitting their fingers.
Memory is the thing that enables ,1s
not to forget the things that do us no
good to remember. ~.
The elevator man is a queer fellow
He will give you a lift one minutes ana
run you down the next.
When a woman asks her husband
for fur boa she shouldn't be sur
prised If she gets it In the neck.
Perhaps the dentist wouldn't look n
gift horse in the mouth, but he doesn't
apply the same rule to his patients.
81 try to make my money last" re-
marked the frugal man. 1T fnd I have
to make mine first" said the careful
man.
Tommy-"6ay. Pop" Tommy.s Pom
well. what - it7'' Tommy-'sWhe1
a standing army gets tired can Il oc-
cupy the seat OF war;"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-07
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
rFrom the Chicago News.l


Reform, like charity. should begin
at home.
Are you good enough to criticise
those who are bad?
There are more born leaders than
there are professions to head.
Some men uphold good thing. and
some attempt to hold it up.
Any man who would boast Of his
charitable acts is eligible for a tin
halo.
Some canned meat labels remind US
of tombstone epitaphs; they are mis-
leading.
Fortunately children do not learn
to talk until after the tooth-cutting
period.
1t is a poor consolation to the pur-
chaser of a gold brick to know that
there are others.
The fable of the tortoise and the
hare teaches US that perseverance
usually gets the gate receipts.
When a young man asks girl for
her photograph she Immediately
Classics him as possibility
II a political candidate is unable to
work the voters he'll have tc go to
work at something else.
1t is an easy matter to accomplish
some great things, otherwise the aver
age man wouldn't even have look-in-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-07
OYSTER Raising.

Consul F. S. S. johnson (Bergen)
has turned in report on the expert
ments in oyster raising along the west
coast of Norway. The so-called oyster
pools often begin to pay the first year
and always (if successfully pay hand
somely after the second year. THE
oyster pools fate" says Consul john
son, Stands or falls by the degree of
success attending the obtaining or
young fry. AS the owners of oyster
pools are as a rule owners of small
farms whose income in cash Is not
great, it has been difficult for several
reasons to supply ready money for
starting oyster culture. 1t mas been
a task for the Society for the Promo
ton of Norwegian Fisheries to grant
pecuniary support as far as funds ad-
mitted and likewise the necessary help
and. guidance. During the past
months some of the pools and inlets
near Bergen have been planted with
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-07
UNDERrAKER,s BILL.

All the neighbor folks who knew her,
Poor, unlucky, little mite,
Came from far and near to view her
In her little shroud so white,
The remarks of some Were bitter,
Though it certainly was plain,
When the flying motor hit her
There was not the slightest pain,
And, of course, no needless torture,
Twas a sad occurrence; still,
Didn't Mr.. Rich1ey Skorcher
Pay the undertaker's bill?
Once. again the people f1ocking
Tosa house of mourning, find
More disaster, sad and shocking,
That a motor leaves behind.
Just a bruised and battered creature,
Stark and lifeless there-but then,
There was one consoling feature,
He was threescore years and ten.
When a mans that old and feeble
1t is merciful to kill,
And, moreover, Mr. Skorcher
Pays the undertaker's bill.
Bells are tolling in the steeple!
There's another victim dead,
All! the sore afflicted people!
Can they not be comforted
AS they mark the solemn toIling
And the rumb1ing of the bells?
Is there not some thought consol1ng
That their monody compels?
Suret They know that motors busted,
Shattered parts are soaring sttlD,
And the heirs of Richley Skorcher
Pay the undertaker's bill.
It A. DAILY in Catholic Standard and
Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-07
JOURNAL ENTRIES

There's never any question raised
about the stability of sand banks.
n X y
If Taft was once a newspaper repor-
ter, it is safe to say his girth was ac-
quired later in life.
Some books need incessant roasting
to insure their success.
u
Many people draw their social prest-
ige out of the bank.
u
Because no two women are alike is
probably the reason why so many men
marry a second time.
= y
You can't blame a homely girl for
having a mean disposition.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-07

ty, although they may not in every
case be so tangible as those that came
to Ruth.
A final observation is that this story
makes better reading than the mother
in-law tales which fill current htera-
ture. Undoubtedly the relationship be-
tween mother-in-law and daughter-1n-
law and son-in-law is a delicate one,
and often provocative of misery. Sure
ly, though, it is oftenest met in the
sensible, loving, loyal fashion repre-
scented in the story Of Ruth. For when
the obligations which accompany any
relation are bravely faced and fulfilled.
the outcome can be only happiness;
any contrary course must spell misery.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-07

NJ. b. Howard, councilman from the
Third ward, has a good idea In the
suggestion of an ordinance for the more
conspicuous display Of the license num-
bers on automobiles. Depending as
they now do from the rear axle and in
the shadow of the body OF the car, 1t
is difficult to distinguish them. espec-
tally when q machine Is being driven In
excess OF the speed limit or in other
reckless ways.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-07

"A whole bunch of Daniels came to
Judgment in North Carolina when the
supreme court decided that railroad
agents might be fined for selling tick
cts at a rate in excess of the 21k cents
a mile prescribed by the law, but that
the railroad companies could not be
fined or punished for violating the same
law. If the roads want to be mean
they can compel their agents to sell
tickets at cents a mile and let them
be fined individually and out of their
own pockets for violating the law.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-07

not been local. Grafters throughout
the country have pulled in their
hooks. They realize that what can be
done in Frisco can be done in other
places and that the lead taken by the
metropolis of the Pacific coast will
be followed by other cities when the
occasions demand.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-07

If Senator Aldrich of Rhode Island
ana Senator Crane of Massachusetts
are convinced that Mr.. Roosevelt is
not nlaving hide and seek" with the
nert Republican presidential nomina-
tion there is Ho need for anyone else
to worry on the possibility OF the
president changing his mind On his
announcement that he would not be
candidate. It would take crafder
man than Roosevelt to fool Mr..
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-07

Developments are beginning to IN
dictate that by the time the city ana
the railway people agree on the terms
under which the Branner street via
duet shall be constructed 1t VIII not
he needed. Airships will have taken
the place of trolley cars. automo plies
ana wagons and everyone will be able
to float safely over the santa re
tracks at the Branner crossing.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-07

FIFTEEN is now the number OF the
victims in and around Pittsburg, KAN
Of a "Black Hand society. Local
peace officers appearing powerless 10
protect the lives of the residents there
It would seem to be advisable FOR the
people to organize either Whlte
Hand'' society or a Ku Klux Khan.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-07

One more scalp, this time big one
bangles on the trophy belt of Fred ..
Jackson. states attorney general HIS
victory in securing the conviction OF
the harvester trust on forty-tWo
counts for criminal acts against the
people of the state is great one
Those twelve Shawnee county jury
men who. brought in the verdict are
also in on the glory.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-07

San Francisco's special grand Jury
has probably made the record for in
ouisitorial bodies in its search and
unsarthing Of graft in the conduct
of the affairs of municipalities. Dur
ing It's session lasting one hundred
days Il returned AL indictments in
woIytnK 81 persons. Its results have
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-07
ERON OTHER PENS
A SHATTERED IDOL.

Wood alcohol and colorfng matter
for whisky; maple syrup drawn from
a drug store; beer full of acid that
would eat through boiler-these are
too familiar to startle be-Jungled and
blase public. But when buttermilk is
declared by health officers to be made
without the aid of a churn, when the
dairymaid is replaced by the doctoref'
Buttermilk has long been a sort OF
emblem of country freshness and
purity. The man who ordered butter
milk in a restaurant or saloon felt a
conscious pride in the simplicity of his
taste and happy certainty of getting
the real, unauthorized country stuff.
And now-what belief is left? Upon
what staff is one to lean NJ - ~.
heroic Fairbanks turned from hypo-
critical buttermilk to the openly
Shameless cocktail?- New York
Am erican.
+ EDUCATED MEN IN PRISON.
Sing Sing prison is going in for
higher education. There are college
graduates enough there for a faculty,
and others of liberal culture who can
contribute to the success of the
scheme. Considering all that is said
for a liberal education as essential TO
good citizenship, it seems little
curious to find so large an element OF
literally educated men In states pr1s-
on There must be screw loose in
that theory somewhere. Good morals
never sent any man to states pr1s on
except by accident. But 1t. seems it
was the accomplishments of the most
of these men which produced their
undoing They were expert as forgers
and in other ways for which careIui
training was necessary is eVloeht
that we cannot rely wholly on the
high schools and colleges for turning
out good citizens. There must be an
other sort of culture.-Rocheste
Democrat and Chronicle
FOR BARGAIN HUNTERS.
One statistfcian has discovered
there has been 40 per cent decrease
in the cost of funerals, but 1t Will pc
lust like perverse humanity to neslect
this opportunity to get EN- while
they're cheap. POST
BRIEF BUT TRUE.
eHow to dress on a small income"
is explained in two-column article
by a fashion writer. Billed down, the
answer is 'badly."-Louisviile Courier.
Journal ~ - &c
PROHIBITION ARGUMENT.
The fact that money is tight is an
other argument for prohibition
Memphis Commercial Appeal.
BOOM; IN SODA WATER.
There ought to be lot OF money
In the soda water business south or
Mason and Dixan's line next summer.
Chicago News.
THEY'RE NOT MANY.
Here and there may be found a con-
eressrnan who :, has no bill in his
Docket fol-. the cure Of financial its
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-07

During the approaching holiday
season persons would do wen TO re-
member the unfortunates in the char-
table and eleemosynary institutions
of the community. A little EFFORT on
the part of all would do much to prlng
them great cheer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-07

e. H. Hartman is not alone in see
ing the approaching dawn OF an era
rich with a wonderful prosperity.
Everybody who has the least hck OF
sense is gazing on the same vision
which is certain of realization.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-07
MAYBE PLArTs RIGHT.

Senator Platt declares that Roose-
welt and all his friends combined can't
swing the New. York delegation in the
Republican national convention for
Taft, or for any other man whom the
president may favor. Well Wall
street and the special interests are
pretty sore, and have it in for the bear
killer dor4iciled in the White House,
but the state ofe New York will be
found to be behind Teddy.-Wichita
Eagle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-07

"Getting aboard the steamboat"
will probably supersede the phrase
"Climbing on the band-wagon, - which
has been used in connection with poll
tfcians to describe their eagerness in
taking up with any popular move
ment. Improvement of inland water
ways looks like the thing to be most
popular with the people just now And
Fairbanks and Cannon. both candi-
dates for the Republican presidential
nomination have lost no time in CIV
ing their hearty and ardent support
20 the cause.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-07

1t has come at last. Wichita ad-
mtts there is some pollution within
her confines Fifty per cent of the
milk COWS from which the people OF
the city derive their milk are affected
rut*b t11herculosiS.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-07

Chicago Democrats had a fine time
Yesterday in entertaining William Jen-
nings Bryan and at the same time un-
dertaking to convince him that they
have been for him for president all
oil
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-07

Topeka dogs, will bark with in
creased delight. The local Kennel
club now has a place on the bench
show circuit under the direction OF
the American Kennel club.