Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1907-08-02

| 10 my already large family of happy
! hOuSeholders. ! may further say that
| have been quite taken with the ap-
/ pearance of both Of you. This house.
! you observe. has all the modern con
! venienceS- hot water heat electric
! lights. hot and cold water. gas for
cooking and everything. in fact that
/ IS considered essential for housekeep-
lng needs and luxury"
As | had the 5000 and a little more
than that tucked away In the bank
| for nest egg and as the house pleased
! Marjorie quite as well as IL did me. |
agreed TO Mr. Splitacre's terms. re
/ ceived my deed with only days de
lay and found that my troubles had
! begun
In the first place, | had 10 buy my
/ furniture Oh the installment plan. and
/ II cost four times aS much as | cX.
/ pectcd. The percentage | had tu pay
! the dealer for installments. | found.
| don't mean all trust-ate Il large
| hole in what WAS left Of my bank ac-
| count, and ii began 10 look rs If.
| when | got through only broken
shell would remain OF my nest egg.
/ 1t was late In the fall when we
moved IN, aud right then we began To
| learn our lesson about modern con
venienceS. Before | fairly learned 10
run the hot water heat the tempera-
/ ture In the rooms ranged anywhere
/ from 32 degrees 10 10. As II cunsc-
! quence both Marjorie and had colds
| which ncceSSitated the attendance Of
a physician. We agreed 10 pay his
bill ON the iustalment plaza
Then the wi>er pipes In the second
! story froze and the amount of damage
/ done before the plumbers got around
/ To do more was almost Incredible So
/ was the bill that we received little
/ later. 1t was only by dint of per
| sistent arguments that ! made the
| plumbing firm agree to allow me to
/ pay them a certain percentage of my
/ salary each pay day. They said theirs
was a cash business, but they would
agree To make an exception IN my ease.
! provided | would promise Solemnly
| that | would say nothing about it TO
| the neighhors. as they did not care 10
/ be bothered with outstanding bills.
\ leak in the gas pipes occurred In
| the middle of January. II was diScov
cred in n rather odd manner. To-
Gated IT, but felt no pride In the
achievement. | was going down cellar
to fix the fire for the night. and when
| opened the door Of the heater there
was Il deafening explosion. The force
of II threw me down, nearly stunning
me and horribly singeN; dress suit
i had been at Il Masonic meeting that
evening and incinerating Il Nandyke
beard and a pair Of the first eyebrows
| I ever had Half the asbestus cover
ing was knocked from the heater and
the very fire was blown up the chin
ney The concrete floor was | i'm
agined dentcd in places. and the jar
started another costly leak in the
water pipes.
The gas men endeavored to repair
the damage, but they somehow failed
TO fix things as good as they were he
fore. In vain they tampered with this
and tinkered with that. The awful
odor of gas permeated the whole
house. insinuating itself into every
room. no matter how hard we tried to
keep It out 1t finally became so
odious that we fairly dreaded the
jingle Of the electric gong. having be-
come ashamed Of repeating TO constant
callers the old excuse that we We're
"having it fixed"
It's just too mortifying," sobbed
Marjorie one evening, Ito have Mrs.
Banks call and sit there with her hand,
kerchief held to her nose with one
hand and her vinaigrette with the 9th
er and looking. at me as IL | were a
segment of limburger cheese or had
been eating onions. If have explained
this uneXplainable thing to one person,
| have to a hundred, and | don't think
either that half of them believe me-
1t was easy to see that the situation
was wearing on my wife's nerves as
well as on mine, though took 1t out in
a different way from sobbing, to the
chagrn no doubt Of the recording an
gel.
The first relief we had was during
those days when the gas was shut off
at the main in the street while an en-
tire new set Of pipes was being put In,
and even these, as it turned out, We're
destined to give us trouble from time
to time.
The April rains went through the
slate roof in places much as If it were
sieve, and the labor Of patching il
meant more installments for the car.
penter, while two Of the ceilings were
ruined, and with installments for one
thing or another coming due all the
time, | found myself unable to raise
the money to have them fixed.
In June an awful odor arose from
the basement. | thought cat must
have died between sonre partitions, but
Mrs. Banks Of the handkerchief and
vnaigrette assured us 1t was the sew.
age. Investigation showed that this
was backed up in an alarming manner
The cellar was again flooded. and this
, time with something that rubber boots
alone We're not sufficient to overcome
=, Potato peelings reposed on the cellar
stairs, and a package Of Mrs. Banks
printed calling cards In some way
found resting place in the floating
coal bin. There We're more lost articles
, than are advertised for In any one ISSUE
of the daily papers, and not the mos'
,,,vpaofad op thpsa w0s a Sat uf dn int \