The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12
HUNOR or THE Day

~ w N1& va - S~@~ - III
Evenings she spoons. Morning she
She e forks ks staple and fancy groceries into
her flowerlike face-Pittsburg Post.
Mrs. subburst-Why. Mary, what are
you putting the flypaper outside the house
Mary (the latest)-sure an amt there
more flies outside than inside PUCK.
Hoax-Ar the members of my family
Joax-Ahi You have relatives to burn,
eh?-PhiIadelphia Record.
Tommy-Paw, was Adam ever a baby7
Mr.. Tucker-1t seems not.
was born2-Chicago Tribune.
g., HI sayl ,ow long ave +, got to oL wal.
for those chops HI sent to be warmed
why. All ct 'em up. boss. 70 tols
you blawsted hidiotl cawn't you hun
derstand Henglish? Hi said distinctly to
eat em up.-Judge.
Howell-Talking OF your moustachs
makes YOU five years younger: 80, ,.
The moustache was only three years old.
Town Topics.
"Iave you friend with an automo-
mo, wish had"
But saw a beautiful car standing in
front of your house yesterday"
oh, that was the plumber."-St. Louis
Mary couldn't take that outing trip
WITHOUT her husband"
"Ali her waists button down the back"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Little Reconsideration Buzzeri Your
bill is frozen stifr. Been mapping in a re-
Big Mosquito-No; er-I tackled Fair
banks.-Chicago News.
Tn going to Maudie's tin wedding to-
mBeen married ten years, has she7"
NO; she's to be married to her tenth
husband. "-Judge.
NO" complained the young painter. ct
can't believe that am producing genuine
THE. critics have praised your work.
Yes. but nobody has raised an outcry
against It as being indecent."-Chicago
But" she protested. you must love
after being chased out of the house az
you were by papa last night"
No" he replied. 1T isn't because love
pies to quit under fire, that's ali. Chi
cago Record-Herald.
Burglar Trust ManaRer-You will be re-
CURED to turn night Into day: to throw
ASIDE all sentiment; to enter the houses of
the best families regardless of their feel
i i 70 act the hypocrite. and. If neces-
Applicant-Um. You don't want an ordi-
nary burglar What you want is a news
paper reporter.-Life.
Professor Ito graduating class in colIeRel
young man, there is one more question
would like to ask, and that is, what books
have helped you most in your struggles
for an education?
Young Scadds promptly speaking up
from the foot of the ciass)-Dad's check
book has helped me about as much as any
OF EN-, 80 far.-Judge. @T-Te -
she-I have thrown your fountain pen
away.
she-So you wouldn't have an excuse for
not writing to me while I'm away.-Yonk-
ers Statesman.
Mrs. White (sympathetically)-So your
husband is in trouble, Maud?
Mrs. Black (cheerily)-No'm he's out o.
trouble dess now-de scoun'rePs in jail
Puck.
Would you love me better" asked the
PROMPTLY. "Td have more t KDe eEc mSe.
and Leader.
Reeder-The telegraph operators say
heir salaries are not commensurate with
Tavker-welI. why didn't they live on
ck?-Kansas City Times.
Mr., strong-Do you believe in hypno-
Mr.. Henpeck-Tm married, amt II
'omerville Journal
Coachman-I wouldn't be a Jockey now
days: not for nothing. Monkeys On
horseback call 'em ="
Chaufeur-That monkey Job amt a bad
IN, IL you get five or six Thousand a veaT
o buy nuts.-Punch.