davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
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supplied with automatic pianos. If they don't keep the jaclsies in fighting humor all the time, nothing will
 A carload of snow will be sent down from the mountains to Denver every day during the democratic national conYen- tion. It will probably be used to cool the fevered brows of the delegates when they wake up each morning.
 While the Japs may not consider the fleet menace, they are at liberty to take it as a bluff.
 Cocktails united & father and son the other day, yet some people are always knocking cocktails.
 Bald-headed men predominate in Con gress, as they do nearly everywhere else, except on a football field.
 Many man has been sentenced to a life of hard toll, simply because he kissed a woman.
 Sometimes a persons capacity Is for work, at other times for twenty -four drinks 8 day.
 It is quite an accomplishment to know as many people as a stamp clerk.
 We wonder what Santa Claus will bring the "meanest man.? PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22
ABOUT BIRMINGHAM

Youngstown Telegram: Birmingham is preparing for the advent of the tabloid invigorator.
 Chattanooga Star: Tho Montgomery Advertiser fears that we have lost Guam. but in Birmingham it's the loss of booze they're worrying about.
 Houston Post: Our vlgilant police have detected spies from Atlanta and Birming- ham sketchng the plans and dimensions of the Houston high ball.
 Chattanooga Times: The stove makers association met at Birmingham this time, and being overpowered with the clearing house certificate complexion of that one industry town, it was actually decided probably for the first time in it's history not to put up the price of stoves.
 Houston Post: We suppose 1t will be a surprise to the half-famished para graphers of New York, Washington, Att lanta, Richmond. Nashville. Montgomery and Birmingham to ascertain that gout is a common afflictlon among the news paper men of Houston. High living will tell
 Marion Standard: Atlanta is putting in a new water pump and Birmingham is raising her dam. This looks something like the prohibition law is to be respect ed. And we are reminded that during Birmingham's boom days q visitor asked a citizen who had lived in the new city several months about the quality of the water. ,"I declare I can't tell you, my friend" said the citizen, II am a stranger here myself.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22

From the New YOrk Press.
 Next to being good the most irritating thing is to be caught being bad.
 A good way for man to make a comfortable living is to have a rich father.
 A comforting thing about bad habits is they don't seem to be if they are yours
 No matter how pretty a girl is, she can have a grievance if some other girl is too.
 A very good way for a woman to re- gail her ideals after marriage is to be- come widow.
 A man seems to think if he can't be anything else he can be a politician. and maybe he is right
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22
NED BRACE TALKS ABOUT THE SPLENDID
 FUTURE OF BIRMINGHAM AND THE DISTRICT

diets with certainty that good times are in sight and that a great new sun of prosperity is to rise upon the horizon.
 Now, let us all do our kicking within the next nine days. The columns of all as well as to the encouragers. Let us get into the game and make the kicks right now. Let us thresh out our troubles. Let us see each other in the. right spirit and find out among ourselves what is wrong. Let us go to our neigh bors who have been doing the wrong thing and tell them of 1t in plain, but parliamentary English. Do not waste time. Get through with the kicking and thresh out all old troubles before the S1st day of this month: and then let us wake up on Thursday morning, the first day of January, determined to pull together. start up industries, build new ones, help our neighbors, who are in trouble, to pull out, and make Birmingham and the Birmingham district the greatest section from a business and manufacturing point of view in all this entire country. Let us do it. No one believes more strongly and firmly in the great future of this section than does
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22
Birmingham Has Prospered.

Since the middle of November, I have visited several large towns in the Ohio valley and three or four southern cities and Birmingham seems to be in better business shape than any of them' Said c. IT. Holton of Cincinnati
 "rhe crowded streets of Birmingham indicate prosperity and I learn that the merchants are having large Christmas trade. This city has an air of thrift that greatly impresses a visitor and when business revives throughout the coun- try in the new year. everything here should boom."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22

realm of agnostieism by saying that in all scientific work it was necessary to postulate God He was a reverent stu dent of the scriptures and a staunch member of the Presbyterian church. Untouched by the so-called higher criticism and the new theology that would substitute a Christless Chris tianity for the old creeds, Lord Kel- win found no difficulty in reconciling science with the Bible or rather in keeping the laws of science and the laws of the spiritual world from con flicting. With him there was abso- lutely no conflict. In addresses which this savant delivered before religious assemblies there was always the clear note in complete harmony with the conservative element in the sisterhood of Trinitarian churches. He believed in the holy trinity, the incarnation, the miracles, the atonement of Christ, the efficacy of prayer and the resurrection Of the body And his simple faith united with his exemplary moral life made him walking sermon, more edi- flying, indeed, than some that are preached from the pulpit.
 
 Lord Kelvin's memory will be cher ished by the people of Great Britain and memorial tablets and shafts will be erected in his honor, but his splen- did achievements in science and his Illuminating contributions to scientific literature will be his enduring monu- ment for ages to come.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22
Backinu Out of GoIdfieId

Impulsiveness on the part of the President and cussedness on the part of Governor Sparks, a republican mine promoter, led to the sending of troops to Goldheld. The troops marched up rsS hill and now they are to march
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22
VENUS CAlNE.

From the Iondon ChrOnIcIe.
 The ancient Romans at one time knew Venus the Bald. The goddess wss worshipped by that name in a pari;cu- lar temple after the invasion of the Gauls the reason assigned for this strange fact in antiquity having been that the brave women of Rome cut off their hair to make bowstrings for the, city's defeurs.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22

The selection of delega .es by outsid- CTS is being overdone at present. Each state knows it's, duty and will do it without outside assistance. Busy bodies are rarely welcome.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22

The land-grabbers in Oklahoma who dealt with the Kickapoo Indians outdid the best efforts of Oregon or Idaho, disgracing civilization and the twen- tieth century.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22

A convict who had served 47 years was released in New York that he might go sleighriding as free man, and hear the bells that tinkled before the war.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22
TWO KINDS.

Some fellows quit before they start, Because they're weak and faint of heart, But, others, made of sterner stuff, Don't ever seem to get enough. They battle on, and come what may, You'll find them fixtures in the fray, Until their little day is done And all Is either lost or won.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22
A Masonic Incident.

q read of the death of Col. w. F. Cut shaw of Richmond with deep regret" said an old citizen who knew the deceased well some years ago. He was a high class engineer and no braver man served in the Confederate army than he. He lost a leg in battle, but got along with out difficulty on cork limb.
 Colonel Cutshaw was the only one legged man in the United States, or any other country so far as I am informed who was ever initiated into the mysteries of Freemasonry. It was some time in the eighties l was living in Richmond then and was member of the fraternity. 1 was present In the lodge-No. 207-when Colonel Cutshaw was made an entered ap- prentice I was also present a month later when he was passed to the degree of fellow craft. In due course of time he was raised to the degree of master Mason and soon afterward he received the Scottish Rite degrees up to and in- cludlng the thirty y-second
 This act of making q one-legged man Mason became a celebrated case. Grandmastcrs of Virginia one after an- other, had been sounded with regard to Colonel Cutshaw's petition. Each was asked to grant a special dispensation. but each declined. Every grandmaster was personally acquainted with Cutshaw end esteemed him highly: but, they were afraid to set aside an ancient landmark. There was no precedent and neither of the grandmasters was willing to set one in case like this. Finally a new lodge was organized in Richmond. Every char Ter member had been pledged on the quiet to vote for Colonel Cutshaw and the brother selected to be the first worshipful master was pledged to confer the de- grees. Cutshaw was the first candidate to be initiated. Conservative members of sister lodges thought the grandmaster would revoke the charter of lodge No. POT aud punish all those who voted for a one-legged candidate, and especially those officers who participated in Cut shaw's limitations but the most worship full did nothing of the Alnd. Had the candidate been a less popular man than Colonel Cutshaw, there would have been trouble. As it was, this Masonic sensa- ton soon blew over. 1t was an amusing | coincidence in the name of No. POT was Lodge of the Strict Observance.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22

A pure seed law is needed now to supplement the pure-food law. The seeds sent out from seed stores are sometimes fearfully and wonderfully compounded.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22

From the Chicago News
 You man." hailed the walking dele gate do you believe in unions?''
 You bet l do.' replied the young man in the black suit and white tie
 "Glad to hear it. On your way to work, I suppose?"
 "No, on my way to get married,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22

The fleet is never out of call, thanks to the wireless. Boston will not get nervous while the wireless continues to get in it's work.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22

The jackies on the fleet will soon know there is such a place as South America, and they will begin to won der what it was made so long for
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22

Lhasa is getting in line for ali the modern improvements except panics.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22

The Fish-Harriman warfare goes over to March, with no chance for compromise or peace thrown in. It is one of those issues that must be fought out.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22

One of Charley Schwabs brothers is preparing to marry an actress in true Pittsburg style-that is to say. by diyorcing present wife.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22

When steamer breaks shaft wireless telegraphy mends, not the shaft, but the feelings of friends ashore.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22

DeArmond and John Sharp Williams are the two democratic members of the rules committee, but at present they are not in a frame of mind to consult together against the common enemy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22

The new double eagles have no ob- jectionable features and yet they are not worth so much as those that had 'em.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22

Cortelyou could not bear the sym pathy of Chance Day and the open support of Tom Platt. The two came together and they drove him to bed.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22

MT. Bryan is hard worker and he will no ,aoubt consent to visit Mont gomery, which is still Alabama's can. ital
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22

The tobacco trust and night riders are in partnership in Kentucky in a desire to put down the independents. The hand of the trust is everywhere felt, and never adyanta geously.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22

lQ Birmingham. I am frank to ad-
 init that I have been one of the number None of us like to take bitter nils We do not like to have our licenses raised in undue proportions; nor do we like to be punished politically or other wise. because of frankness in expressing our views in print
 Of course the general public, and par ticularly the political public, like to kick against newspapers. The average man when he does anything that is we'll done wants to be boomed in the columns of the newspapers. He thinks the reporter should write a full column about him and characterize him as the great man and savior of the state or community. On the other hand, if he does anything that he thinks the public will not en- dorse, he wants the newspa per reporter to suppress statements of facts regarding him. He does not want anything said about 1t.
 When the average citizen. be he poli- tican or other, gets a public printed com- pliment he thinks he so well deserves it that he has no word of praise for the young man who happened to write 1t. But when he does something unpopular he thinks it should be suppressed from the newspapers and he becomes indig- nant with the reporter for printing it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22

Prosperity smiles as 1t sees the new winter crops coming on in fine condi. ton.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22

There is prophecy out that turkeys are to be cheap this week, but it may be prophecy that does not fit Jones valley.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22

Santa Claus will use an automobile this year in the south and a sleigh up north.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22

The days may be growing colder. but the campaign of 1908 waxes hotter daily.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22
HAPPY UNIONS.

A secret marriage is generally fol- lowed by public divorce.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22

Only two more buying days before Santa Claus arrives.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22

The judge was one of those unassumng men, short on style, but long on horse- sense. The young lawyer in back dis trict hoped to impress the court by tho elegance of his diction and the polish of his manner. At every opportunity he mur- mured in the silkiest tones, "If your honor please" His consideration was so marked that he nattered himself the judge was listening more intently than usual. Final ly, he sat down and his honor remarked, Now that shows the advantage of trained mind. That young feller talked an hour without saying anything"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22
AGE-HERALD ECHES


 Savannah Press: The Pail Mall Gazette gives An English View of Taft" Front or rear?. queries The Birmingham Age Herald
 Washington Herald: The Birmingham Age-Herald discovers that this country has not had President named John since 1sH. Ton Yonson, he bane gude Teller Tor das yob, by yimminy!
 Jackson News: The Birmingham Age Herald says that the name of those Cum ard liners, the Lustania and Mauretania, are too hard to spell, so The Age-Heraid therefore rechristens them Lucy and Mary. Good idea.
 Jackson Clarion Ledger: The Age-Her- aid says, all Christmas shoppers who have any sense or humanity will com plete their work this week How about the fellow who has these qualifications but lacks the dough?
 Washington Post: People who do a favor for what they expect to get out of 1t deserve to be treated with ingratl- tude," says the Birmingham Age-1erald. No doubt; but 1t is generally the others who are treated that way. a
 Marion Standard: The Montgomery correspondent of The Age-Herald notes that this has been a great year for Ala bama, that some very fine laws have been enacted although there may be some not so good. Well( yes, this is more or less true. Something good did come out of Nazareth but not through the work of Judas but in spite of him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22
STUCK!

STUCK! Some days. Gee whz, How hard It is To wear A smile And all The while Be full of cheerl I wish, Oh. dear, 'Twere spring, For then I'd take My pen And write of joys And bare Foot boys, And days To fish, And dream And wish But now The muse, By some Fell ruse. Eludes Me still And, what's More, will Not lend A hand. It beats The band, How hard I try And hope And sigh, And cast About, But naught Comes out! A day Like this Is such, You wis, That one j.. Who digs, Or tends To pigs, Is apt To be Esnvied By me! An Ohio man has been fined s and ost for tweaking the ears of dog. sank discourtesy to the dog! Every ship in Admiral Evans fleet is
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22
Great Crowds.

Everybody spoke of the crowds on the streets of Birmingham Saturday as the largest ever witnessed here.
 "i have seen the streets thronged so often, that l seldom express surprise or wonder when the crowds seen are larger than usual" said policeman, but this Saturday crowd beats them all. Thou sands of people were shopping.
 ''The volumne of money spent may not have been a record breaker, but it is safe to say that the number of purchases made exceeded any previous >igh record in that respect. The crowd was good natured; a better behaved crowd could not have been desired"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22
DEATH IN THE MINES.

DEATH IN THE MINES. Grubbing like worm in the earth, Buried from the light of the sun, And the song of the birds and the bloom
 of the fields,
 And the ripple of waters that run. Oh what does he get out of life That can pay for the pitiless toll, The shadow and gloom and the heart
 breaking doom,
 And the shock, and the deadly recohf No plaudts are sung in his praise The alien digger for coal Whom pale-featured death in, horrible
 form
 Would lead to the ultimate goal. The world holds few pleasures for him. Little more than essentials of life, With the promise of children that weep
 forlorn
 And the sobs of a grief-stricken wife.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22
About Persons.


 w. Despez of Florence is at the New Morris.
 P. II. Roberson Cropwell is at the New Morris.
 John T. Poe of Belle Ellen is at the New Morris.
 Judge James J. Mayiield. the codlfler Of the new code, was in Birmingham yes terday, returning from Nashville, where he has just given the copy of the new publication to the printers.
 W. F. Vandlver, formerly mayor of Tal- ladega, and one of the best known cit- zens of the state, arrived last night ana is registered at the Hillman. MT. Vandi- yer was one of the leading prohibitionists in the late agitation at Talladega. The Rev. Dr. Kerr Boyce Tupper of New York arrived in Birmingham yester-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22
THE LAWYERS WEAPONS.

Attorneys in the case began to throw ink stands at each other.
 Come, come, gentlemen" exclaimed the judge, stick to facts and let the ink wells alone,"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22

An Ohio man has been fined S and cost for tweaking the ears of a dog. Rank discourtesy to the dog!
 Every ship in Admiral Evans fleet is
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22
THE CORTELYOU BOOM. Died December Il, 1907.

"The man who knows no brothers spear Can tell you what I'm doing here.'
 It seems that gentleman cannot carry "a pocket handkerchief in this town for more than week and keep it presentable. Nashville American.
 From which we are led to believe that the grand old colonels of Nashville wear their shirts four weeks without change.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22
A PLANT WHICH COUGHS.

We wonder what Santa Claus will bring the ''meanest man.? PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22

SHORT LETTER TO SANTA CLAUS. Dear Santa Claus, be good to me, And lift my weight of woe. Just hang upon the Christmas tree Receipts for all I owe!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22

Youngstown Tciegram: Birmingham is preparing for the advent of the tabloid invigorator
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22

Houston Post: Our vigilant police have detected spies from Atlanta and Birming- ham sketching the plans and dimensions of the Houston high ball.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22

EPITAPH IN A POLITICAL GRAVE
 YARD.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

"No, on my way to get married. ,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22

It is quite an accomplishment to know as many people as a stamp clerk.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-12-22

diets with certainty that good times are in sight and that a great new sun of prosperity is to rise upon the horizon.
The Manchester journal. [volume] (Manchester, Vt.) 1861-current, 1907-05-23
AN EXECUTION IN INDIA.
The Way n Man Guilty Of Murder un.
derwent DecapttattOn.

The Way n Man Guilty Of Murder UA.
dcrwent Deeapitation.
A letter from India TO German pa
per gives this account OF the execution
near Bombay of man who had been
found. guilty of the murder Of his
brother-ip-law: THE question as to
whether the culprit should be executed
or sent to prison for life was, as Is the
custom, submitted to the family Of the
murdered man for decision. All, In.
Guiding the wife OF the murdered, vot-
ed for death. When the place OF ex-
ecution was reached the condemned
man knelt, and the ropes which were
fastened to him were handed over to
the executoner's assistants. The one
who held the neck rope took q few
steps before the kneeling man and tho
other two stood ut either side. Then
the executioner. armed with razor
edged, heavy knife, advanced and
asked In loud voice, who authorizes
the executionF and the chief OF police
answered. The law The question
was asked and answered three times,
while the armed man advanced, slowly
swinging the mighty blade. As the
last answer was heard an assistant
executioner thrust needle point into
the kneelng mans back and he made
an involuntary motion forward with his
head. The three ropes were pulled
taut, leaving the neck extended to the
utmost. At the same instant the knife
whirred through the air and the head
of the murderer rolled In the sand"
The Manchester journal. [volume] (Manchester, Vt.) 1861-current, 1907-05-23
LIVE LIKE A KING.
IT'S Not . Dffncuit Matter In Modern
New York Hotel.

IT'S Not Dinicuit Matter In a Modern
New York Hotel.
No crowned head ever pillowed Itself
for a nights lodging with the satisfac-
tion Of knowing that under the same
roof there were thousand persons
paid to look after Its safety. comfort
and luxury, unless; that crowned head
found itself In a modern New York bo-
tel, where regiment of help" Is EN-.
ployed, consisting Of clerks, chefs. pas.
try cooks. meat cooks. bakery men,
soup cooks, detectives, watchmen, en-
glneers, electricians. plumbers, carpen-
tiers, laundrymen, doornen, perters.
buffers, walters. stewards. wine and
cigar experts. decorators, messengers.
waiting maids and chambermaids.
ANY person with 81 Ia his pockets
can have the advantages Of this regi'
mental array Of servants for one day
by paying the price OF room at any
OF the greater hotels recently construct.
ed In the metropolis, though, OF course,
81 IL the lowest figure. Many OF the
rooms cost double that sum day. and
some OF the state apartments, with
bedrooms, gorgeous parlor, private din.
ing room and bath. ure not let for less
than 500 or x125 day. Even the four
dollar rooms have baths. but the price
Of room or apartment docs not include
ls.-Remscn Crawford In Success.