davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune., 1907-09-29

races a great part of the merrymaking deals with
subjects that unwhoieSome-
Among the Germans find humor and Wit
extensive and admirable The chief characteristic.
far exists, IS a certain quality based on
investigation into the reason OF things: II is al
most NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. quite physicaI-as
here:
a little boy strong with his mother along
Inter den Linden observed with interest the young
misses of a seminary taking their daily parade
The girls were walking two by two; In front were were
the youngest. their skirts TO their knees; after
them came the others in the order OF their ages;
their skirts increasing with their years last OF all
came the young ladies' whose skirts reached even
the pavement. =.
Mamma questioned the little boy, why is IL
that the girls legs grow shorter they grow
older?'' ,., +,
Yet the best characteristic Of German testing IS
its excellence. which must appeal TO ali the world
Though the story has been claimed for both French
and English writer's, Il German, Heine, who
wrote TO an author from whom he had received
book:
II shall lose time in reading .t'
Wit rather than humor, is distinctive or ire
New-York tribune., 1907-09-29

Apropos of food. l reminded Of the striking
comparison made by another Frenchman. the gas
tronome Brat Savarin that a dinner without
cheese is like beautiful woman with only one
New-York tribune., 1907-09-29

French They by no means lack humor. but much much
of of a questionable sort. OF course. there
are exceptions, in a picture I remember of a
trombone player. a huge man. il a rage shaking
with him Beneath the picture were the words:
yety tones of my instrument to initiate the twit-
tering of. little birds In the forest you nave 10
The typical French wit is caustic-it draws blood
xotiTf & was wit %f M,1g and be said aG VS. SO
agreeable as TO be obscurely hanged!' There Is
Teaire SfG1 m said e Of Engand that it had sixty
ligons and only one gravy in which SAYING ag,'ii H.
better to have sixty religions than nons, ana
gravy t9 Paris horse with sauce bearnalse
Apropos of food. 1 am reminded of the striking
comparison mace by another trenchmn, t1f 6I7t sa
often French wit is of the merely absurd sort.
like much Of Thus il French
courtier who said of famous for obeAty
himself that is really better than our modern
american jest on the approaching fat man. Here
Even more American in character is the remark
the earle was buried the ar next ii day
is % FseRGh Joke al that is rather English m in
ms ,nnpeeuni9slty called on man OF means Eamed
Monsieur, | am going to astonish you. 1 am
the Marquis de Fayieres. DO know you, and
Monsieur Barnard repiied "gis u am going to
aStonisI you much more 1 know you. and
Yet the typical French story always has a sting
i4 IL ilAt liie IdinOuS one OF the wife who ueu,
WhlCh mas gone over the world in varying guise
In the village of Poitou woman fell into a trance
Afier the Poltevin CUSTOM she was wrapped in "A
sheet TO be carried 10 the- GENE terry. In the
procession was passing through a narrow road a
thorn of the waySide pierced the sheet wounded
her that the blood flowed and she awoke
Fourteen years later the woman really died. and
cesSion rassed through the narrow road the hus-
band called. ~ ~ 49,
Not near tine hedge. friendsl Not So near
the heiyet- 80 81 i'eNi
Dutch humor and wit are not of a sort to an
peal often The people of Holland are rare
~ sarcastic; their funmaking is of a most pom
derous kind Once time a controversy started
between Holland and iceland, and the argument
continued for TWO years The thrilling question
81 issue was: Does the cod take rbe hook or does
the hook take th" cod2 Let this illustration suf-
fee
As to the English. they not dull. as we some
uHles contend: they merely different For the
rest the English. or rather the British wit and
New-York tribune., 1907-09-29

As to the English. they are not dull as we some
u!les contend; they are merely different For the
rest the English. or rather the British wit and
New-York tribune., 1907-09-29

to him that ne d1d see iIuCii VII
ing like Shakespeare If he had mind TO try it,
Clearly Lamb adds nothing Is wanting but
the mind
An excellent illustration of sarcastic cleverness
has been Varously attributed TO DIR. Johnson by
his biographer, Lord North by Earl Mount
Fdgecufnb and Monk Lewis by the Rev. Philip
Smith. AS matter of fact, IL can be traced to
Tudor times.
concert singer, who sang not wisely but too
often. W. eXecutng-or perhaps ''butchering'
were the better word-a number remarkable for its
trills and other musical pyrotechnCs when an ad-
irer of the performer remarked that the piece was
a difficult
..Difficultr' came the retort II wish to heaven
IL were impossible!"
The grotesque in hamor Is common among
the British with us. but one OF the best exam
nIe of Thackeray'S reference to oyster
50 large il took two men to swallow ii whole.
Rut let us pass to the puns, of which the British
are VIGOROUSLY fond
II is usual to sneer at the pun. As matter of
r,ct MN NAV be very clever and amusing or il
may he hopelessly dull and mbecile, Lamb said
thai the pun noble thing in itself and it
allied the mind Johnson said that the who
would make pun would pick pocket. Perhaps
I'll ore right to a certain extent. No one can
n,estion the oieverness of Nero's pun. which have
quoted or of Napier's dispatch when he had cap
tIred Scinde He sent the one word. "Peccavi"
CT have sinned'D. Yet while we appreciate the
Of these. they do not inspire laughter II Is
otharvise with a punster like Hood, who declared
that though a man of many sorrows, he had to be
q divaIv Hood for a livelihood. In his punning. wit
and humor mngle To quote but single example:
Ben Battle a soldier bold.
nd Used o wars alarms.
Blta ball took on his legs,
SO he laid down his arms
And as they took him off the field
Cried he Let others shoot.
For here leave my second leg.
And Forty-Second Foot"
New-York tribune., 1907-09-29

An excellent illustration of sarcastic cleverness
has been var:ously attributed TO Dr. johnson by
his biographer, o Lord North by Earl Mount
Edgecuinb. and Monk Lewis by the Rev Philip
cn1ith AS OF it be traced
New-York tribune., 1907-09-29
.Byscander.

ard prosperous. We are we'll fed, well clad;
have to toll too much Therefore can
laugh, and that with a good conscience We have
the brains for wit, have the prosperity that
makes laughter easy. Let US make r1erry-Narvin
Dana, In IipDtncotrs.
New-York tribune., 1907-09-29

to him that he did much difficulty in writ
ing like Shakespeare, If he had mind to try II.
"Clearly" Lamb adds, nothing Is wanting but
The Sauk Centre herald., 1907-05-23
Plenty of Nitrouen Left.

1t has been estimated that in France
alone the amount of nitrogen yearly
taken from the soil is 100000 tons and
not much more than one-half of this is
returned to the soil in stable manure.
Let 1t be assumed, for the purpose of
argument, that those countries en-
ploying nitrogenous fertilizers use dur
ing each year 100000 tons of nitro.
gen.
This seems to be fairly liberal es.
innate judging from the above figure
regarding France and the fact that
during 1905 100000 tons of nitrate
OF soda were employed throughout the
world. On this basis it is easily seen
that there is no danger Of impoverish-
Ing the atmosphere, for the atmos-
pheric pressure at sea level CORE
spends to about II pounds of nitrogen
a square inch, or say 1,500 pounds
square foot, or 20,000,0OO tons square
mile.
Each square mile of the earth's SUR
face has above it enough nitrogen to
supply the entire world for five wears
on the basis assumed above and since
the entire surface of the earth is not
much short of 200,00O,000 square miles
the world can go on abstracting nitro
sen ct this rate for about 100000
PEARS before reducing the quantity In
ae atmosphere one:tenth per cent.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1907-05-23
Butterflies In Battle

"A battle of butterflies" said the
japanese viscount firmly.
impossible" cried the lady on his
right.
"Oh," the viscount insisted. "the
thing is authenticated. It happened on
Aug. 20, 1889. Tales and poems with
out number have been written on it.
"On the evening of Aug. 20 two op-
posing armies of the butterflies fought
an aerial battle between Nojima and
kavasaki-Mura. Il The fight continued
till sunset, when the smaller army
turned and retreated, the victors pur-
suing it till all were lost in the rosy
sunset haze. The ground beneath the
combat was thickly strewn with
wounded and dead warriors.
The battle drew thousand people.
It occurred about thirty feet up in the
air. The spectators were amazed
and horror-stricken to see these gentle
blue butterflies graphing and strug-
Cling furiously. and silently in a blue
blizzard above their heads"
The Sauk Centre herald., 1907-05-23
season.

SEASON.
Pretty curtain nets that wear vel
ranging from cts. to so cts. per yard
at Bl:ed's.
The son of Geo. Hooper is seriously
ill with typhoid fever.
! IF it comes from Doolittles it's
+. good.
Try one pound of our 20 cent cof
fee. 1t is good value. A. Dahlem.
| While running init de machine" in
responding to the fire alarm Tuesday
evening A. G. Kay had his thumb
badly lacerated by the rope on the
hose cart
Owing to the lateness of the sea-
son there will be lots of Fodder Corn
and Millet planted this year. Place
your order before the price advances.
L. S. Bishop Co.
STRAYED-Light red COW with star
in forehead strayed from the Hall
place two and a half miles northeast
of town. Suitable reward for return
to A. NJ Smith.
The household goods of Mr. and
Mrs. Billy Fox were shipped on Mon
day to Cass Lake where Mr.. Fox is
employed by the railroad company
and where they will make their home
for the summer at least.
Our boys clothing department is
complete with everything that is new
in young mems and boys, suits.
Come in and let us show you our
boys "Tearabout" suit It is the best
boys suit we know of. The Model.
Shortly before six o'clock Tuesday
afternoon an alarm was turned in
and the department had a run across
the river near to the place where the
barn burned the day before. 1t was
nothing but burning chimney and
the department had the run for exer-
else.
Place your order for Fodder Corn
and Millet early. You will save
A car load just received. L.
8. Bishop Co.
At business meeting of the Con-
Ladies Aid Society, held |
the following officers were |
elected: Mrs. J. A. Norris, Pres; |
Mrs. ]. c. Caughren, First Vice Pres;
Mrs. L. j. Irish, Second Vice Pres;
Mrs. c. G. Tobey, sec.; Mrs. F. H.
)ehler, Treas. Ladies of the church
md congregation not desiring to as
list in an afternoon coffee" are ex-
'ected to give $3.50, the same as last
ear. AS everyone is expected to
cad The Herald, this notice will take
he place of postal cards sent out last
ear The society is making prepara-
ions for big supper about June 6.
1t is recognized fact that Kuppen-
elmer suit will do more to improve
mans appearance than anything we
now of, for the reason that they
re made of better material, fit better.
ave better style than any other
clothes we know of.
Ie're in position to demonstrate
hat we say. The Model. I
The Sauk Centre herald., 1907-05-23

IS that parasites
or tape worms as
they are called are
responsible for an
immense amount
of S suff ering.
Thou S a nds of
these creatures
have been brought
to me by people
who have taken
the New Discov-
cry andInow know
that an immense
amount of sup
The Sauk Centre herald., 1907-05-23

F. w. Kast and family left for their
ne W home in North Dakota on Satur-
day. The Kast family made large
number Of acquaintances while in the
city who regret to see them leave. 8
The Sauk Centre herald., 1907-05-23

trouble is caused in reality by one of
these parasites. A man or woman
may be afflicted in this manner for
years and not realize the true cause
of their suffering. When I first sold
Cooper's New Discovery I did not
know that the medicine would remove
this trouble. I have since found that
1T invariably does so. The following
letter is fair sample of the symptoms
as experienced by an individual thus
affected:
II was always tired. My stomach
bloated and the slightest exertion
made me sick, weak and dizzy. NY
appetite was variable and a good
nights sleep was unknown to me.
When awoke in the mornings had
bad taste in my mouth and coated
tongue. heard of the wonderful
benefits that were being derived from
Cooper's New Discovery, and decided
to try IT,"
"The horrible tape worm, sixty feet
long that had been sapping my life
away, passed from my system alive
and squirming after had taken three
doses. Now have a splendid appe.
tite, every trace of stomach trouble
has disappeared and my digestion 10
good. sleep well and am gaining in
strength every day." Nick Emmer.
ick, 1874 Louis Ave-, Milwaukee, Wis.
We are authorized agents for the
Cooper medicines. Cali and let us
tel you more about them.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1907-05-23
SHORT TALKS BY
L. +. COOPER.
INTERNAL PARASITES.

Cooper's New Discovery has taught
me many things. Not least of which
The Sauk Centre herald., 1907-05-23
Ube Churches,
CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH

CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH
Sunday morning 1880 preaching
service. Sunday School at 11:5O a. m.
G. E. society 200 p. m. Evening
service 500 p. m. Wednesday even
ing 500 p. M, prayer meeting and
bible study.
FREDERICK H. OEHLER, Pastor.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1907-05-23

. LOST-Between and Z o'clock
Monday night, on the streets of Sauk
Centre, May 20, twenty dollar bill.
Finder return to Hanson & Emerson
and receive reward.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1907-05-23
REV. I. F. O'CoNNoR, Pastor.

METHODIST EPISCOPAL CHURCH
Glass Meeting $50 a. m.
Morning Service 1890 a. m,
Sunday School 11:45 a. m.
Junior League $3.50 %. M.
Epworth League ZOO o. m.
Evening Service 500 %. M,
Bible study, Wed. Eve. 500 p. m.
j. s. Kingan, Pastor.
ST. PAUL'S CHURCH
Services every Sunday at O'Clock
low mass. 10 O'Clock high mass.
Afternoon service at O'Clock %. m.
Every day mass at O'Clock a. m.
Rev. A. ARTZ, Pastor.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1907-05-23

We are authorized agents for the
Cooper medicines. Cali and let us
tell you more about them.
Hanson q Emerson
The Sauk Centre herald., 1907-05-23
EPISCOPAL CHURCH

EPISCOPAL CHURCH
1880 a. m. morning prayer end
sermon. l1:45a. m. Sunday school.
500 p. m. evening prayer and sermon.
Wednesday, 500 p. m. evening PRAYER.
REV. 2. NJ. GARLAND, Pastor,
OUR LADY OF THE ANGELS CHURCH
Corner 9TH and Ash streets. Service
every other Sunday, early mass at
$3.50 a. M, high mass 1890 a. m. with
sermon in English. Vespers at 7:3O
p. M.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-01-08
PLAN RECEPTION
FOR W. ]. BRYAN
Arrangement Committee to Meet and
Prepare for Entertainment of Dis
tinguished Visitor in Latter
Part of Month

By tomorrow afternoon it is expected
that the question as to the place for
holding the public reception in honor
of William Jennings Bryan will have
been decided
A meeting of the committee on pre-
liminary arrangements will be held at
the rooms of the Democratic club at 4
p. m. tomorrow, when the question as
to the public reception will be acted
upon.
1t is certain that Mr.. Bryan's recep-
tion, which Will be public affair, will
occur either al the chamber of COM
merce or at the Temple auditorium
Should ii take place at the chamber
Of commerce the board Of directors of
that body will have full charge of the
affair, while If it is decided TO hold
the reception at the auditorium gen.
eral committee of possibly two or three
hundred citizens, chosen irrespective
of party will arrange for the event.
The banquet I'm honor of Mr. Bryan
and the date of which definitely has
been fixed for the evening or January
29 will be under the auspices of the
Democratic club, of which Eugene Ger
main is president. 1t is expected that
Mr. Germain will announce his various
committees tomorrow
The place for holding the banquet
has not yet been decided upon, but il
is expected that the affair will require
possibly the largest banquet hall i'm Los
Angeles, as indications are that the
demand for tickets will be heavier than
for any similar event ever held in the
city.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-01-08
BLOCKS STATEN FREIGHTs
Anti-Nuisance League Stops Sunday
Switching on Island
BY Associated Press.

BY Associated Press.
NEW YORK, Jan. THE first de-
cided move in a fight which the Anti
Nuisance league of Staten Island began
recently against the Baltimore e Ohio
Railroad companys freight terminal at
st. George was made when four of the
railroad engineers were arrested
charged with Sabbath breaking"
The league was formed some time ago
to prevent unnecessary noises on Staten
Island on Sunday, it being complained
that freight trains were switched a
great deal and locomotive whistles were
blown on that day of the week, the lat
ter in violation of state law. The en-
gineers were subsequently released on
ball.
The arrests brought the business in
the yards almost to standstill. The
st. George terminal is one of the most
important the Baltimore & Ohio has,
cars from the west being brought there
and sent south to Brooklyn, where
freight is distributed among vessels and
a great deal of freight from New Eng
land is landed there.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-01-08
GLEANlNGS GARNERED
FhOM PASADENA FIELD

Special to The Herald.
PASADENA, Jan. 1.-THE. third pro-
duction of the comic opera, The Mi
kado, in the local opera house this
evening by local talent was an entire
success.
Relief from the coal famine that has
troubled Pasadena with other Pacific
coast citis will not come for a week
yet. Coal orders cannot be filled before
that time, say local dealers.
Miss Mary Clark, the victim of an
auto accident in which she was run
down by an auto driven by DR.. Solon
Briggs, will not sue for damages as
reported in a morning paper this morn
ing. She absolutely denies the allie
CATION that she contemplates suit.
The funeral services over the re-
mains of Mrs. Harriet Haskall will be
held from the undertaking parlors of
Adams, Turner & Stevens tomorrow
afternoon at 2 o'clock.
Allen 7. Steele, a former Pasadena
high school boy, has been appointed on
a team of three debaters to represent
the Iowa state college of agriculture
and mechanic arts in a debate with the
Drake university. The honor is
merited.
The banquet of the Edison Electric
employees has been postponed from
Monday evening and will be held We'd
nesday evening.
The Pasadena branch of the Los
Angeles County Medical society will
hold a regular meeting at the home of
DR.. A. G.. HOag tomorrow evening.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-01-08
RAIN, RAIN AND
MORE IS COMING
Seasons Precipitation of Moisture Is
Nearly Three Times Greater Than
for the Same Period
Last Year

Total rainfall for storm, 1.66.
Total rainfall for season, $50.
Rainfall 10 January last year, 3.26.
Ahead of last season, 500.
Lowest temperature yesterday, ~.
Maximum temperature, 80.
State forecnst--Rain Tuesday, fresh
southeast wind.
Every weather office it's own Hat
field" seems to be the motto of local
Weather Forecaster Wollaber. If any
last lingering doubt as to Hatiields re-
sponsibility for last seasons rain re-
mains i'm the minds of California farm
ers it must of necessity be dissipated
by the kind of weather the local office
is turning out without the help of any
special rainmaker.
ForeCaster Wollaber's records show
that the average seasonal rain for the
past nineteen years is 1856 inches. Up
to last night more than half that much
had fallen, the total for this season
being S.35 inches During the twenty
four hours ending at p. m, Lag inches
of rain fell i'm Los Angeles. This sea-
sons rainfall is the greatest UP to jan
uary since 1892, when S91 inches fell.
The storm which brought yesterdays
rain is central off the California coast
and has brought rain to all of Califor-
mia from the northern limits to the
south. At San Francisco SO of an inch
had fallen up to yesterday morning.
Red Bluff had received IA of an inch,
Fresno 16, San Luis Opispo AS and San
Diego IA. In Sacramento snow is re-
ported to have fallen.
According to Forecaster Wollaber,
there will be a continuance of rainy
weather today, as the storm center is
moving inland very slowly
There was some damage from washes,
but the new storm sewers carried away
great Volumes of water and much
less trouble was experienced than on
former occasions.
A small sewer on Roma drive caved
in and residents of that district made
complaint to city hall.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-01-08
STRIKERS AGREE
ON SETTLEMENT
SOUTHERN PACIFIC EMPLOYEES
READY TO RESUME
In Some Quarters There Is Talk Of
Referendum Vote - General
News Of the Railroad
World
BY Associated Press.

HOUSTON, Texas. Jan. THE
brotherhood of Locomotive Engineers
and the Brotherhood of Firemen are in
session here today arranging the de-
tails of an agreement reached yester-
day in settlement of the Southern Pa
cific firemen's strike.
The only apparent hitch i'm the ar
rangements is the status of engineers
who were members of the firemens
organization and who Joined the strike
The firemen insist that these shall be
either reinstated or cared for on other
engines by the railroad company.
1t was expected that the strikers
would return to work today but a final
settlement has not been reached.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-01-08
Levy's Cafe

where the fare, the service and music
are the best in Los Angeles.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-01-08
Clerks Resume
BY Associated Press.

BY Associated Press.
NEW YORK, Jan. 7.-Wilbur Drag
gins, grand chief of the Brotherhood of
Railroad Clerks says the strike of the
Southern Pacific railway clerks is off.
BY the terms of the settlement all the
old clerks who apply for positions will
be employed as soon as places can be
made for them without prejudice.
Los Angeles herald., 1907-01-08
Treating Wrong Disease.

Many times women call on their family
physicians, suffering, as they imagine,
one from dyspepsia, another from heart
disease, another from liver or kidney
disease, another from nervous exhaustion
or prostration, another with pain here and
there, and In this way they all present
alike TO themselves and their easy-going
and Indifferent, or Over-buSy doctor, sep
aTate and distinct diseases, for which he,
assuming them TO be such, prescribes his
pills and potions. In reality, they are all
only symptoms cansed by some uterine
disease. The physician, ignorant of the
cause OF suffering, encourages this prac-
tce until large bills are made The Suf-
fering patient gets no better, but probab
worse, by reason of the delay, wrong
treatment and consequent complications.
A proper medicine like DR.. Perce's Fa-
vorite Prescription, directed to the cause
would have entirely removed the disease,
thereby dispelling all those distressing
symptoms, and inStitutlng comfort in
stead OF prolonged misery 1t has been
well said, that"a disease known is half
cured"
DR.. Pierce's Favorite Prescription is a
scientific medicine, carefully devised by
an experienced and skillful physician,
and adapted TO woman's delicate system.
1t is made Of native medicinal roots and
Is perfectly harmless in its effects in any
condition Of the system
HS powerful lnNlSOIdulnB ionic a
vorlte Prescription impartS strength to
the whole system and to the organs dis
tlnctly feminine in particular. For over
worked, "worn-out," "run-Gown," debili-
tated teachers, milliners, dressmakers,
Seamstresses, "shop girls" house-keepers,
nursing mothers, and feeble women gem
orally, DR.. Pierce's Favorite Prescription
Is the greatest earthly boon, being un-
equaled as an appetizing cordial and re-
storative tonic
AS soothing and strengthening nerv-
Inc "tayorite Prescription is unequaled
and Is invaluable in allayng and sub
DUNG nervous exctability, irritability,
nervous exhaustion, nervous prostration,
neuralgia, hystera, spasms, chorea, st.
Nitus's dance, and other distressing, nerv-
Gus symptoms commonly attendant upon
functional and organic disease OF the
uterus. II induces refreshing sleep and
relieves mental anxiety and despondency.
Dr. Plerce's Pleasant Pellets inyigorate
the stomach, liver and bowels One 70
Ghree a dose. Easy to take as candy.
The Tournament of Roses could not
have been pulled off had the day been
stormy. But rain or shine, sunshine or
shadow, the multtudes go to
S