Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1907-09-12
THE GROCERY CLUB
SAM sAWYER's REPORT OF AN
ECONOMIC DEBATE.
Cornersville, Ark, Is Inclined to Think
That in the German Agreement
Kaizsr Bill Has Successfully

Our club met in Sy Jones grocery
store las night pursuant to its nat raj
tendencies. A quorum was present-a
quorum in our club consistin' of two or
more members present who don't agree
on anything that may come up. Sew
eral members wus absent cause
they hadn't come up with the ready
come down" fer their las weeks gro
ceries.
jim Jackson, who used to lead the
quire an hes a good readin' voice,
read loud one of your artickles on
the late German Agreement" enter
ed into by Teddy an Bill thru THAR
speakin' tubes, so to speak The
terms you use es, fer instance, the
export price" an the "consignin' CT
goods WIS MT exactly clear to us in
the beginnin' of the discushin. One of
our members, Bob Sanders, thot that
the word "consignin' meant the sign
of the con; an that it indicated that
Kaiser Bill had worked a con game
on Teddy cause they both spoke the
same language. Howsomever Jim soon
fetched the sun up on the matter an
all wus clear es fer as terms went.
Jim's library consists of Daniel Web
ster's unabridged. an he can bridge
over purity near any stream of diff
culties with that.
Jim showed that the export price
allows the feller that sells the goods
to fix his own price on EN-; an that
our custom officers, or policemen of
trade, must accept that price an col
lect toll on 'em accordingly. 'Spose
he's right.
But it pears that the German
Agreement" allows the feller (it S
darned hard to beat the Dutch) that
makes the goods over there to sell
'em to hisself over here at his own
price, consignin' EN- to hisself, jes
usin' our custom house fer social
clubs goin' to an comm from. Boiled
down over a slow fire of green wood
it sums up sorter like this:
BY the German Agreement" the
German deals with himself on both
sides of the sea; an arter he gifts
I'LL u uOuSll uulltS StS. vel NhdI
will you have nit me?" Thus he be-
comes the whole derned shootin'
match-both exporter an importer.
So thar hain't nothin' left fer our i'm
porters but to turn porters or jine
our club an whittle an spit This tip
g thairn in advance.
| haint use to spillin' ink 'cept
when | turn over the stand but hev
always noticed that orthografy, gram
mer, an retric hain't no use less you
hev something to say an way of
sayin' it. Book larnin' S apt to lead
feller into thinkin' that he can think.
Ten times to bakers dozen that the
feller with the "sheep-skin" can't skin
a sheep; nor would he know taller"
from hog grease when it comes to the
fryin' out of things.
The majority of our club are DEM
ocrats an banker arter Free Trade"
cause they hain't nothin' to trade an
want something free. They strike an
erudite attitude cause the college pro-
fessors are free traders. They hain't
nothin' agin the tariff cause it's a rob-
ber; fer they hain't nothin' to be rob-
bed of! An havi'n nothin' to protect
they don't care tinker's d-n about
protecshun. They whittle fer livin'
an care more about shavins than fer
a shave. But right here in our club
III bet thar's more craftsmanship
goin' to waste than s bein' wasted in
Washington.
The next subject fer discushun is
Free Trade or Tariff-Which? at
which thar S expected to be some
conclushuns an other things drawn.
III send you summery of 'em.
SAM SAWYER, Secretary.
P. S.: Summers food-tide s in.
The bloomin' meadows hev splashed
the foothills with foam. The chestnut
trees stand along the hillside at noon
iOokin' like rolled up clouds co1ored
by halffaded sunset The oaks are
full of acorns, which means lean
streak of pork this fall. S. s.