davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
Trvinu the Wronu Man.

An unusual verdict was rendered by
the jury in a case tried In California
town a good many years ago. The
question was as to the ownership Of
several head of cattle which the de-
PENDANT was accused of having stolen
from the plaintiff. AS the case pro-
ceeded and different witnesses gave
their evidence, it became apparent to
all listeners that the defendant was an
innocent man. When it came time
for the jury to retire to consider their
verdict, they did so, but returned to
the courtroom In a few moments
The foreman looked the Judge straight
In the eye and said with drawl and
twang which betrayed his New Eng
land origin:
"Jcdge, we find the plaintiff guilty."
"The court Is not trying the plain
tiff, but the defendant" said his honor
hastily, and the matter being explain
ed, the foreman was at length induced
to express the jury's opinion that the
defendant was not guilty.
"Howsomever," added the foreman
solemnly, "'pears to me we're con-
sidering the wrong man, your honorv'
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
The DANCER Of Soar.

When q man goes to some thermal
springs to boil out" oil the old Satan
that Is in him he quickly learns one OF
the more important lessons OF life and
civilization that Is, he acquires a su-.
preme contempt for soap. When he
takes, his first tub, at 90 to 1O2 degrees,
twenty minutes In the water to soak,
the attendant gives him terrible
scrubbing, using sharp soap and q
loofa. After that first bath no more
soap is used. The man continues to
soak daily In water of the same tenn
perature for twenty minutes and is
rubbed with the loofa, but no soap.
"Soap," the expert attendant will tell
you, "clogs up the pores of the skin.
Our object is to keep 'em open. We
cure all diseases by giving the pores
a chance to breathe and excrete. !"
Your hands chap? Wherefore? Be-
cause when you last washed them you
, neglected to rinse them thoroughly.
You left the pores clogged with soap.
Your complexion Is muddy. Where
fore? You forgot to wash the soap
off your cheeks. Hereafter rinse,
rinse, rinse. Keep on rinsing. Con-
tinually rinse. st. Louis Post Dis
patch.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
urotesque spanish Honor.

There is a story about the Duke OF
Wellington that illustrates the fantas-
tic idea Of honor held by many Span.
iards, contrasted with the practical
common sense of Englishmen. When
the duke was cooperating with the
Spanish army In the peninsula against
Napoleon he was DESTROYS on one &C.
casion during general engagement
that the general commanding the
Spanish contingent should execute a
certain movement on the field. He
communicated the wish to the Span
lard personally and was somewhat
taken aback to be told that the honor
OF the king Of Spain and his army
would compel him to refuse the re-
quest unless Wellington. as a foreign
officer graciously permitted to exist
and fight on Spanish soil, should pre-
sent the petition on his knees. The old
duke often used to tell the story after
ward, and he would say, "Now, was
extremely anxious to have the move
ment executed, and I didn't care a
twopenny damn about getting on my
knees, SO down jumped!'
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
Mixed LIQUORS Barred.

Rory MacSnory was the village
blacksmith and one Of the most pow
erful singers in the choir of the kirk
at Auchleucheries. To show off his
voice to full advantage he would vary
his style from bass to alto and from
alto to treble in the same hymn.
The minister had long observed that
Rory's methods were upsetting the gen.
eral melody Of the congregations sing
ing, and at length he resolved to bring
the culprit to book.
Hymn 34," he announced, land a.
thegither. And, Mr.. MacSnory, If ye're
tae sing tenor, sing tenor, or If ye're
tae sing bass, sing bass, but We'll haze
nae mair O. yer shandygaff!'-D
Advertiser. 5s
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
HOLY Land a World Center.

1t used to be fancy that the Holy
Land was the center of the world. In
a sense not then meant it was indeed
central. 1t occupied strategic posi-
ton. Three continents converge here
all the continents known as the an
cients-Asia, Africa and Europe. Con-
tiguous to Palestine on the south liee
Egypt and on the north Syria. Or. TAX
ing a wider view, on one side of it
were India, Persia, Assyria and Baby
lonia, while on the other side of it were
Egypt, Greece and Rome. A babe
among giants the land of Jesus was in
deed little among the geographical
tribes; but, like a babe, it was mon
arch of the household Of lands.
From its central vantage tiny Pales-
tine saw through the march Of centu-
ries the procession Of these mighty en-
pires-Assyrian, Babylonian, Medo-
Persian, Greek and Roman, being it.
self during much Of the time center
Of influence and determining force that
have helped form the character and
history of the civilized world.-Ex-
change.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
The Water Bottles Shane.

Three useful purposes probably
many more than three-are served by
making the familiar water bottle Of
such a distinctive pattern. In the first
place the narrowness Of the neck pre-
vents the entry Of much dust that
would inevitably settle on the water
were the entire surface exposed; in the
next place the same narrowness pre-
vents excessive and rapid evaporation
Of the water, and In the third place the
shape Of the neck makes it a capital
handle, thus doing away with the ne
cessity for a separate handle fastened
to the body Of the bottle, a course that
would render it much less convenient
and more liable to be broken.-Pear-
cons.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
A poa and His Name.

There was a dog case which ex-
cited much attention in Berlin some
years ago." said former resident Of
that city. "A citizen complained to
the authorities against a neighbor
who, he said, to annoy him, gave his
name to mongrel cur. He calls my
name he said, and when l turn
around he laughs and says he was
calling his dog .--.~.
~'What's your name?' asked the
magistrate.
- "'My name is Schulz
Fl And do you call the dog SchultzT
he asked the other man.
eyes, your honor, but spell it with
a T-SchultZ.'
"'Call him without the T. CON-
manded the magistrate, trying to look
serious. The man did so, the dog came
to him and an order to change the
name or be fined followed
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
A Clash of Praxers.

Maggie, with her fair face and blond
hair, and Nina, with dusky skin and
kinky wool, had played together at
mud pies and had swung on the same
gate ever since they could remember,
for Nina's nanny was Maggie's nurse,
says the Housekeeper. They were now
seven years old. Maggie loved Nina
In spite Of her color, yet she had a
feeling that her friend deserved to be
white, so she added to her prayer each
night:
"Please, God, make Nina white"
AS the weeks went by and Nina re-
NAMED unchanged Maggie felt that her
petition needed reinforcement, so she
confided in Nina, begging her to pray
for the greatly desired bleaching. But
Nina in surprise looked at Maggie
with wide open eyes and exclaimed:
"Me? No, stree. Fo' de Lawd,
Maggie, 1 doan wanter to be no white
child, an rs jes' prayin' with all my
might fer you to come black!'
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
Strong Soup.

In the life Of William Stokes, writ
ten by his son, it is told how Stokes
was sent over to Dublin during the
great famine to show the people how
to make soup. Stokes asked a starving
beggar why she did not go and get
some Of the soup that was being freely
distributed
Soup, Is it, your honor? Sure, it
isn't soup at all" "And what is it.,
then?" inquired Stokes. 1T is nothin',
your honor, but quart Of water boiled
down to a pint to make it sthrong!"
This is the soup maigre which Ho-
garth caricatured in his picture Of the
French troops at Calais. - London
Standard,
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
Tho Reason.

All sorts and conditions of men have
excellent reasons for their position in
life. Illustrated Bits tells Of tramp
who had no Illusions about the cause
Of his own conditions:
Mrs. Finehealth (at hotel entrance)-
No. have no money to spare for
you. I do not see why an ablebodied
man like you should go about begging.
Lazy Tramp-I s'pose, mum, it's fer
about the same reason that a healthy
woman like you boards at hotel, in
stead Of keeping house.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
Finding a Grave With an Eaa.

- GE1uOlu9 q vi ave WIFI dU 699s
The Miau-tsze, little known tribe In
Asia, are very superst1tious about
death and will not bury man until
they have first tested the ground with
an egg. This operation is very curious.
While the body IS being prepared for
burial number of Miau-tsze, 1nclud-
Ing the male relatives of the deceased,
go out to the appointed spot bearing a
large basket Of eggs. STOPPING down,
one of the natives let's an egg drop
softly on the ground. If it breaks it is
considered an i'll omen, and another
spot is selected. In this way the party
often wander about for hours, break
Ing eggs over the ground until they
finally strike place where the shell
does not crack. sv~et
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
Java's Fire Island.

One Of the greatest wonders Of Java,
"the fire island" large lake of boil
ing mud, is nearly two miles in cir
conference, and In the center I'M
mense columns Of SOFT hot mud may
be seen continually rising and falling,
like great black timbers thrust forth
and then suddenly withdrawn by a
giants hand. Besides the phenomena
Of the columns, there are two gigantic
bubbles near the western edge, which
fill up like huge balloons and explode
on an average three times per minute.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
OCEAN RATE WAR SERIOUS
cunard Line Meets Reductions Of Its
Competitors.

Liverpool. Sept. 1.-The Cunard
me has issued an official statement
70 the effect that 1t will be obliged to
follow the example Of It's competitors
end reduce It's eastward Atlantic
fares. This action had been expected,
- otherwise, with all the lines run.
ming from the Continent to Channel
ports accepting lower rates, much of
the Liverpool traffic might have been
diverted.
The situation 10 regarded as seri-
Gus. The most interesting question
II will the Cunard lines competitors
mako further reductions. There IS
little doubt that while the rate cut
ting at present is limited to the Amer
ioan eastward trafflc eventually it will
affect the Canadian trade. The Amer
lean lines have been fostering Cana
dian traffic via New York and Boston
and II appears that the Canadian
lines Will be obliged to reduce their
rates or else lose business to the
American stoamePa.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
Two Acre Farms,

In Belgium two acre holding is
sufficient to maintain farmer and his
family. The typical two acre farm in
that country contains patch Of wheat
or rye and another of barley. Another
fair portion grows potatoes. A row Of
cabbage grows all round on the sloplng
sides OF the bitches, with row Of on
ions just outside leaving bare walking
room between them and the grain. The
shade trees round the house are pear
trees. Every foot Of land is made to
produce, and the farmer keeps pigs and
chickens. f.. ss}s.t,l
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
The Builders.

.. "The Egyptians were the builders
said contractor enviously. mo won
der their monuments will endure for
ever. Labor was nothing to them. AS
you would spend cent on a newspa-
per so would an Egyptian king put
10000 men to work upon a temple.
Labor, you see, cost nothing. A strik-
ing example Of the Egyptian prodigal-
ity Of labor lies In this fact: No less
than 1000 men were employed for
three years in carrying single stone,
a stone Of unexampled size, from Die
phantine to Sais.' r.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
GREAT YEAR FOR FARMERS
IarnInos Estimated at One Billion
Dollars Over 1905,

earnings 6ByJm0teO AZ OO0 0lIIIOn
Dollars Over 1905.
New York, Sept. 1.-THE American
farmers earnings are 100000. 900
greater this year than last, according
to q preliminary report on crops which
VIII be published In the next Issue of
the American Agr1culturist. This big
gain will be entirely due to the in.
creased prices Of farm products, as
tho production in general will be fully
10 per cent less in quantity than in
1906. which was the bumper year.
The farmer was never in 30 healthy
q position as he Is today-fnancially,
socially. politically, mentally and
spiritually" says the report. 1.-THE
Increase In the value Of his real estate
has been prodigious. He owes less
money than ever before. He has
greater assets than ever Again, the
farmers wants are greater. He is in
the market for more and better breed.
Ing stock. farm implements, household
ooods and other merchandise"
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
FUNERAL OF MANSFIELD.
Body Of Deceased Actor Inferred Near
Summer Home.

summer Home.
New London, Conn.,, Sept. .'.-All
that was mortal of Richard Mansfield
has been lowered into a grave y the
little Gardner cemetery within few
rods of Seven Oaks, his summer home.
The ceremony was simple but impress
sive and was attended by many
friends and acquaintances of the late
actor. BY request Of the family the
services at the house were simple.
There was no eulogy or address.
After this ceremony those present
formed In procession and proceeded
to the plot selected for the burial, al
most diagonally across the street.
The committal Of the body to the
grave was solemn moment. With
bowed heads the mourners listened to
the impressive words OF the Episcopal
church ritual.
II had been announced that those
who knew Mr.. Mansfield in life were
Welcome 10 attend, but those who had
nothing but curiosity to call them to
the services were not desired. Hence
thu attendance ~ representative of
the friendship and esteem IN which
the actor was held.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
Early uae Of Tobacco.

I have heard my grandfather say that
one pipe was handed from man to man
round about the table. They had first
silver pipes; the ordinary sort made.
use OF q walnut shell and a straw.
Tobacco was sold then for It's weight in
silver. have heard some Of our old
yeomen neighbors say that when they
went to Malmesbury or Chippenham
market they culled out their biggest
shillings to lay In the scales against the
tobacco. Sir w. r., standing in
stand at Sir Robert Poyntz's park at
Acton, took pipe Of tobacco, which
made the ladies quit it until he had
done. Brief LinesTSet Down by John
Aubrey" 1689-96.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
The INTELLIGENT Bird.

Two negroes in Washington were
overheard discussing the intelligence
Of birds in general.
"Birds is shore sensible" observed
one darby to the other. 'Yo' kin learn
them anything. I ulster work for a
lady that had one in clock, an when
it was time to tell de time it ulster
come out an say cuckoo jest as many
times as de time wasp
"Yo' doan' say soY' asked the other
negro incredulously.
"Shore thing!" responded the first
darby. But de mos wonderful part
was dat it was only 9 wooden bird
too!-Harper's Weekly.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
von.E

r.. %<@,s i Won.
In Germany "von' implies nobility,
and NIL persons who belong to the no.
b1ltty prefix won" to their names with
out any exception. Persons who do
not belong to the nobility cannot have.
the right to put won" before their
names. A man who is knighted for
some reason, however, has the same
right to put '''yon'' before his family
name as person of ancient nobility.
For instance, when Alexander Hum
boldt was knighted he became Alex
ander Won Humboldt. All his descend
ants, male and female, take the prefix.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
Haven of Rest.

1t Is desirable that each sex should
occasionally escape from the other. It
Is restful to the nerves to do so; it is
good for men to be with men only and
for women to be alone with women
now and then, and the club Is essen
TALLY the place for each sex to find
rest from the other and enjoy its own
society.-London Lady's Pictorial.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
A Little Mixed,

A Hindoo barrister thus excused an
absent client whom sickness had pre-
vented from coming to court: 1.-THE
man has fallen unwell, your honor,
and he has sent a man here to say
that he is lying and cannot come"
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
Moorish Cavalry Routed,

Paris, Sept. 'l-Vice Admiral Phil
bert. commander Of the French naval
forces on the Moroccan coast, cabling
from Casa Blanca, reported that the
allies On Sunday routed a large force
OF Moorish cavalry seven miles south
OF the city. The admiral did not give
any details Of the engagement. r
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
A Mean Trick.

Sm1th-You say you write dunning
letters to yourself and sign them with
fictitious names. What do you do that
for? =: Jones--You see, my wife is al
ways after me for money, and when
she reads those letters she becomes
discouraged. ~ =,
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
A Theory.

Tommie-Pa, how do storms git out?
Tompkins-Get out? What are you
driving at-out Of what? Tommie--
wy, the weather bureau, O course.
didn't know but mebby the man left
drawer open.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
i Welcome Home.

Peddler:- Wouldn't you like some
notices for your house, mum? It's
very cheering to a husband to see a
nice motto on the wall when he comes
home. Mrs. Dagg-Youa might sell me
one If you've got one that says, "Bet-
ter late than never"
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
UnIuckv at BRIDGE.

"Do you believe In this thirteen su-
perstition?' asked Tete de Veau.
II do" replied L'Oignon. II could
never understand why I was so I'M
lucky at bridge till I discovered that I
was always dealt hand Of just thir-
teen."-Exchange. *
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04

A mean man suggests that women
probably gained their reputation
for patience because they live thru
the interim between installments of
continued stories in the magazines.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
Turned Down.

BEG pardon, sir,' said the waiter,
with outstretched palm, "but 'aven't
you forgotten something's
NO. replied the departing guest,
''but Tn trying to forget it. Good
y."-Catholic Standard and Times.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
Too True.

TOO True. z..-,..
After our landlord had pocketed the
$50 which we pay monthly for our lit
tie apartment he blushed painfully.
"Why do you color SOP" asked.
Because have rent In my trous-
ers," he murmured.-Exchange
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04

Three things too much and three too
little are pernicious to man-to speak
much and know little, to spend much
ana have little, to presume much and
be worth little Cervantes.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
Sizing Him up.

- = Sizing Him Up.
"How much money really has her
II don't know. What is his attitude
toward the lawT' --~---.
what do you meanT ..-
= "Does he evade, defy or ignore 1t?''--
Washington Herald.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04

You will have sufficient fame if
you ever become as important as a
militiaman looks when he gets into
a new uniform.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
Tho Rinu In His 6neech

-. "o 's'''6 u" ''o 0PooS's.
Edyth-You ought to have heard Mr..
Higgins ringing speech last night
May-Why, wasn't aware that he
could make speech. Edyth-Well, I
can't repeat the speech, but I can show
you the Westminster Gazette.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
Plenty Of Thorn.

Joakley-You're right. Most people
worry over what they haven't got but
know certain people who worry be-
cause Of what they have. Coakley-
That SO? What have they? Joakley-
Nothing. Press.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
Getting Square.

He-1'm going to bring Jolt horno
with me to dinner tonight. She C)h,.
mercy, dear, don't! It's the cooks day
out, and I'll have to cook dinner. He
Never mind; owe Jolt one, anyway
Yonkers Statesman.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
Feminine Nerves,

o111111tTo TN0TV08s
There are nervous women; there are
hypernervous women. But women so
nervous that the continual rustic of q
silk skirt makes them nervous-no,
there are no women SO nervous as
that!
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
Cause For Hurry.

Cause For Hurry.
II understand they were married in
haste" - at.
Eyes; they told the minister to hur-
~ because there was only a little gas
olfne left in their automobile, and they
were twenty miles from home."- New
York Town Topics. .
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04

Evolution,

Father" said little Rollo, what is
evolution?" Evolution, my son, Is ]
sort Of apology which man has invent
ed for displaying SO many Of the traits
Of the lower animals. ~ Washington
Star.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
I Patrleids Attempts Suicide.

=. ,eomerville. N. J., Sept. Hearing
that his father, John G. stryker,
wealthy farmer, had died as the result
q his attack upon him Richard Stry-
kAZ his aon. thirty-fve years old.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
Good Plan.

"How can I prevent the flies getting
into my sugar basin?" wrote a Con
slant Reader" to a journal.
Fiji the sugar basin with salt" was
the laconic reply.-Pele Mele.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04

Always speak good word for the
dead and now and then one for the
living when you have time. Missouri
eharpshooter.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
Error Of opinion may be tolerated
where reason Is left free to combat Il;
Jefferson. st
The PARTY Line.

Hubby-Why didn't you come to the
door and let me in? Wife-I couldn't,
George. Our neighbor was talking to
somebody, and was at the phone
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
ENCOURAGEMENT.

Frances Harry says he just wants
to fall down and worship me all the
time Her Mannma-Oh, well, don't
mind that, dear. After you're mar.
ried he won't let It interfere with. his.
business.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
A Rebuff.

a Rebuff. -
do you think your father would
like me as a son-in-law?"
Eyes. I believe he would"
"Oh, JOY! r.
Papa and I never agree about any
thing, you know"
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
Odd Punishrnenf.

Bigamists In Hungary get odd pun.
ishment. The man silly enough to
marry two wives is legally forced to
live with both Of them in the same
house.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
Home Diplom.ov.

05PV01It2Vys
Jack-Hullo, Charlie! And how do
you enjoy married life, eh2 Ever
had any differences of opinion with
your wife? Charles Yes, but l don't
let her know about them. Reynolds
Newspaper.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1907-09-04
A Failure.

"When she gave you the piece Of
cake, did you say Thank your"
Eyes, ma, but it didn't do no good"
didn't do any good p
mo; she didn't give me another
piece"