davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1907-07-18

then started down the road at the rate
OF 100000 miles a minute
why don't you stop IT." screamed
my lady friend.
I'll be the goat; what's the an.
swer?' | said, clawing the lever and
ducking the low bridges.
We met man on a bicycle and the
last | saw OF him as we whizZed by he
had found soft spot in field about
four blocks away and he was going
into 1t head first.
We kept his bicycle and carried 1t
along on our smoke stack.
! couldn't stop the thing to save my
life.
Every time I yanked the lever the
snap would let chortle out of his
puzzle department and fly 400 feet
straight through the air
We were headed for an old ash
heap, and my market price had gone
down to three cents ton.
Don't jump" | yelled to my lady
friend, but the wind whisked the first
half of my sentence away.
Clara Jane gathered her skirts in
a bunch and did flying leap out of
the crazy cab.
She landed right In the middle of
that heap of fresh ashes-and she
made good.
All | could see was a great, gray
cloud as pushed on to the next stand.
About half mile further down the
road the machine concluded to turn
into a farm yard and give the home
folks treat.
1t went through window in the
barn. out through a skylight, did the
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1907-07-18
DIRECT TO THE SECRETARY
msn.of.War's Man Takes Complaint 10
Head OF Bureau.

at is very seldom, remarked an Of
eclal OF the navy department. that
the secretary of the navy receives
call from a man-of-war's man. but sec
Rotary Metcalf had that experience
recently. II was during business
hours at the department A young
blueiacket very much excited and APP
parently in trouble appeared in the
secretary's anter-room and asked
Private Secretary Clark if he couldn't
have "A private interview with the sec
retary ON important business. Score
tary Metcalr happened TO be olsen
gaged at the time and he said ne
would see the man The sailor Went
into the secretary's private office and
told a warn of trouble. 1t seems that
he is attached to Farragut's old flag
shin Hartford. now used by the mia
shipmen at Annapolis as a practice
ship. and that he had walked from
Annapolis to Washington, a distance
of about 80 miles. in order to lay MS
grievance before the head of the naval
establishment According to his story
the blueiacket was sick and couldn't
get proper food on his ship. He said
that the doctors had put him on
light diet. but that he was given moth
ing but regulation food, which was
too coarse for his delicate digestion.
and made him sick. The man was in
pretty bad shape, but whether it was
due to improper food or simply the
result of his long tramp from Annapo-
Ifs it was hard to tell Anyhow his
tale excited Secretary Metcalf's SYM
pathy and at his suggestion the man
was sent to the local naval hospital
for treatment and observation, in adj
dition to which the secretary said he
would investigate his complaint of I'M
proper treatment on the Hartford
The case is unusual.in that the sailor
man was able to present his case to
the head of the navy in person.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1907-07-18
WESTERN MEN IN NEW YORK.
Brains of Mountain and Prairie in De.
mand In the Financial Center.

Ever since the early days, when D.
o. Mills, j. B. Haggin and James K.
Keene "emigrated" from California to
new York, the metropolis has been
drawing largely on the west and south
Tor its supply of men who do things e"
theodore p. Shonts, both a southerner
and westerner, who has undertaken to
solve New York's great transit prob
lem. is the latest importation in re.
Spouse to the call of the east
The promptness with which Thos F.
Ryan, of Virginia, turned the Equt-
able Life Assurance Society over to
its policyholders, who now elect a ma
Jority OF its Board of Directors, and
Invested himself of the control of the
stock which he bought from Jas. II.
Hyde, and the success of the new
management of the Society under the
direction of President Paul Morton,
have created demand for the strong
men OF the south and west that is
greater than ever before. Under the
Morton management the Equitable has
made a better showing than any other
insurance company in the way of i'm
proved methods, economies and in.
creased returns to policyholders.
F.. H. Gary. head of the greatest cor.
poration in the world-the U. S. Steel
Co.-John w. Gates. Henry c.. Frick
Norman B. Ream, VIM II. Moore and
Daniel G.. Reid are other westerners
who are among the biggest men in
New York.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1907-07-18

hula dance over the lawn, and then fell
in the well and stayed there, painting
as though Its little gas-engine heart
would break
When | limped back to Clara Jane
the storm signals were flying.
She was away out on the ice,
The feather boa looked like the haw.
ser on canal boat. and the ashes had
changed the pattern OF her dress goods
We were stingy takers on the road
home.
1t will take me two years to square
myself.
Hereafter, me to the trolley!
Me to the saucy stage coach when
I'm due to gallop away and away!
No more benzine buggles for yours
sincerely,
Never again for the bughouse bar
ouche! Not me.
have only one consolation; The
chap we pried of the bicycle was Clar.
ence Edgerton Montrose.
1t will take him about three years
and two months to find all the spots
that foolish wagon knocked of him.
Meantime, / hope to be Clara
James sugar buyer again.
Copyright. 1901, by c. W. Dillingham; Coz
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1907-07-18
SALT LAKE CRY. UTI
KNEW BETTER THAN ruI
CITY Youth Could Believe mu,,I
There Was a Limit

The younger son of a wepsI
politician of Chicago has spent n
much all of his life In the big cItI
the lake, and. consequently, know
tie OF country ways and things
long ago he visited a man he badl
In Chicago. and who maintains Al
farm near Cairo, whittier he had
sisted the youngster come Id
lengthy stay. One day the Chill
youth was wandering about the d
closely examining the top, ends
sides of a certain trim, welI.mads|
lect fenced round in the padi|
What are you searching for, Jlmn
asked the owner of the place, vIt
quizzical smile Where are the a
and windows?" asked Jimmy. "Da
and windows. Why, Jimmy, that
haystack. Look here, old man.
claimed Jimmy; Il may be olij
green person from the city, but
can't bluff me that way. Hay dOa
grow in Jumps like that'"-Harp
Weekly.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1907-07-18
A SMALL SECRET.
Couldn't Understand tho Taste OF
His Customers.

Two men were discussing the var.
fous food products now being sunnIied
In such variety and abundance
one. grocer said, Il frequently try
a package or so of any certain article
before Offering it to my trade. and in
that way sometimes form different
Idea than my customers have.
For instance, thought would trv
some Postum Food Coffee, to see what
reason there was for such call for IT.
AT breakfast didn't like it and supper
proved the same, so | naturally con.
Guided that my taste was different
from that of the customers who bought
It right along.
A day or two after, I waited on n
lady who was buying a 25c package
and told her / couldn't understand how
one could fancy the taste OF Postum.
know just what is the natter
she said, you put the coffee boiler on
the stove for just fifteen minutes and
ten minutes of that time 1t simmered
and perhaps five minutes it boiled
now If you will have it left to boil fnII
hfteen minutes after 1t commences to
boil. you will find delicious Java-like
beverage, rich in food value of gluten
and phosphates, so choice that you
will never abandon it, particularly
when you see the great gain in health
Well, took another trial and sure
enough / Joined the Postum army for
good, and life seems worth living since
have gotten rid of my old time stom.
ach and kidney troubles"
Postum is no sort of medicine. but
pure liquid food. and this, together
with a relief from coffee worked the
change. There's Reason"
Read THE Road to MELVILLE" in
pkKs,
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1907-07-18
Mystery In shavlna DAN

Well We are going down jnto
Southwest Washington tonight on .
visit to my sister" said a woman mas.
senger on a Pennsylvania avenue car
In the southeast section of the citv
the other morning. SEE was address.
ing female friend. and the reioinder
was, "oh, know you will have ? nice
time" "'0o
Then the first woman sighed and
said; You know he shaves on thar
day" The talk then branched off into
dlsJointed discussions as to best DAYS
to hang out the wash and what kind
OF soup to feed the children during tho
not summer days, but the two yonng
fellows who heard the first remark
are wondering how often he" has his
wnisKers removed and why 1t ia cele.
DRAFTED by family gathering.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1907-07-18
Hummlna Birds In ENGLAND.

Considerable interest is excited by
the humming birds now on view at
the geological garlens. Fifty-three OF
these tiny, fragile birds we're taken
on board from Venezuela many died
on the voyage. but the fittest sur
vived, and 20 reached Regents park
alive. At the time Of writing II are
shown In two large glass cages fur.
nished with Towering plants, and
placed in the insect,house, which can
be kept at a high temperature. Moths
In cage near look bigger than these
small birds. 1t is to be hoped that
these dainty feathered gems may take
kindly to their new surroundings. and
live long to delight the eyes of many
jewellers in smoky London.-West-
minister Gazette.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1907-07-18

Jane was down and In the kerosene
caravan.
Clarence hadn't arrived
Somebody must have put him next,
but l knew where he lived and | fig.
ured II out that after we came back
from Lonely Lane I'd send the landau
around and around the block he
camped in till made him dizzy.
Clara Jane was the feature OF the
game
She was the limit In ladies dress
goods.
For a chaser she wore one OF those
feather boas that feel cool because
they look so warm.
Well. | turned the horseless gag into
the shell road and cut loose.
We were doing about 43 miles an
hour and the brides were singing on
the way.
Clarence Edgerton Montrose was
working in shaft No. 3. back in the
mines-my lady friend told me so.
She waa having the time OF her life.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1907-07-18
Mother Not to Be Trusted.

John Alexander Dowie had a grand
knack of putting things quantity and
forcibly. At one of his last meetings
he attacked the modern mother OF so.
ciety, the mother who neglects her
children.
Why he said Il overheard the
most remarkable conversation be.
tween two nursemaids on car yes.
terday.
Are you going TO the picnic?' said
the first nursemaid
" No said the second, Tn afraid |
shan't be there
why not? cried the first. And
you so fond. too. OF picnlcs and dane
ing and young men and all that there,'
"'oh. said the other nursemaid, ia
dearly love to go; dearly. But. to tell
you the truth. I'm afraid to leave the
baby with its mother"
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1907-07-18
New in eastronomlc Line.

Epicures experience much difficulty
In hndtng new dishes, but il took n
virginia negro in Washington cafe
the other day to introduce a distinct
novelty in the gastronomic line. A
belated and tired traveller got off a
train at the Pennsylvania depot and
headed for an eating place which some
chance acquaintance in the smoker
suggested. Seating himself at the
table he was handed menu card by
an obsequious server of viands. On
account OF the dearth of walters due
to the exit OF many for seaside and
mountain resorts. the management
was put to the necessity of employing
the negro referred to- who was moi
overwhelmed with either experience
or Intelligence "As a matter of fart
SAID the traveller, in relating HE ay
perlence, the man only knew ono
ulsh on the card. After finishing IN
nasty meal OF steak, fried potatoes
ana conee. | asked him what else no
mad that was good, meaning dessert
We've got some fine oranp.ontano
PIE was the response. Just as a
hyer told him to get me some hav.
ing considerable misgivings as tn what
lie would bring. A great uproar went
up when he set before me piece Of
merlngue pie. The fun was worth
me enlarged tip handed him. but
wheh / got home it's orang.outang ME
for me-" PIE
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1907-07-18

Mrs. Roosevelt has chosen 10 ou,.
measeIl WIN mat part Of society wb,oS
goes IN tor uplifting She has s"s.
i1usly avoided the merely frivo Iouu'
- ne. at name Is on the list of patrons
". ART "a, ana music. She is pIedgoS
when her husband leaves office '' to "a
IN the establishment of no ~ ana
academy OF art and of a national 'o Una
servatory, both to be sunnaD. con
sbat me funds. 1t is understood og
mat she wishes to go down IN S STOOD
mouse annals as the most Inte,i %niIe
. ana conscientious collector oc 's hl
stately mansion s'aeed the
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1907-07-18

PROBABLY nobody in the government
service has had so many interesting
ana unusual experiences as have fail
en- to the lot within the past wear Of
rrot' Frank N. Meyer. explorer for
.he agricultural department. He has
just completed remarkable torr ~
emma Korea and Alaska in search os
plants flowers and cereals In tba
prosecution of his work he pepotratad
Ieh-te and mysterious parts Of thosa
lands which it is believed were naUoa
oeiore visited by white man uo boa
brought back to Washington sra ,"S
mems OF plants, flowers and carnoia
'nat are new to the agriculural d ,,,'
par'ment and is now preparina We
elaborate report that will ino,,, an
some OF his more novel exnerien oae
while travelling. ''' FENCES
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1907-07-18
Jobr7 Henry
on fbe
Benzine
Buggy
BY HUCH McHUGH
lGsorSs ". Hobarf)


A cross-country dub named Mont.
rose has been doing the shine spe.
clalty around Clara Jane lately.
He began to call evenings and
bring a bunch of resdy.grown flowers
with him as big as a hay stack.
Then he'd spread around the parlor
and tell her how he won the long.d
lance running jump In the 'O1 Yale
class
Az you approached him from the
front the first name you saw was
Clarence--Clarence Edgerton Mont.
rose.
Wouldn't that slap youl
don't think Clara Jane considered
him the real kittens, but he could talk
fast and use long words and she found
him pleasant company.
She said she loved to sit and shade
her eyes with the elghtdollar fan
gave her and listen. to Clarence Ed
gerton Montrose while he discoursed
about Palestine and the Holy Land
II he was ever there he went in a
hack.
That's the trouble with some of
those college come-outs The pro
fessors beat them over the head with
a geography and then as soon as they
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1907-07-18

The Duke of Northumberland IS,
largest land owner in England
estates stretch almost from sea lo'
and he can ride 100 miles ana
once leave his own domain ~
pearance he Is tall and thin, wlln
dish hair and flowing whiskefs
is old-fashioned in manner, and su'
many of the attributes of -
seigneur. And he has all the y
of the Pereys and keeps up to Tue
their Olympian traditions he
once heard to say: "You VIII nav
go a long way back in our reco'u
find a Percy who was either idle
spendthrift." In religion he IS ai
ingite, like his father and ne
converted the duchess to his OWE
lief.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1907-07-18

get a crowd around they begin to go
to the places that struck them hard.
est
AS an honest. Woodworking man 1t
was my duty to put the boots to Ed
gerton and run him down the lane as
far as the eye could see.
So | framed up Clarences finish
with much attention to detail.
looked over Clara James dates
ahead and found that Clarence had
rented the house for Wednesday
matinee, so hired one OF those horse.
less carriage things and pulled up In
front OF the windows Just about the
time I thought His Feathers would
be playing the overture.
knew that Clara Jane you'd can
Gel the contract with the mutt that
mixed in just as soon as she saw the
automobile snap.
! figured that the picture entitled
The True Lovers Departure In the
Dream Wagon" would put crlmp in
Clarence about the size of barn
door
1t was my third or fourth time be.
hind the lever of the busy barouche,
but / was wise that you pulled the
plug this way when you wanted it TO
so ahead and you showed 1t back
when you wanted 1t to stop.
When II came to benzine buggies
] felt that my education was complete.
| was George Gazazza. the real Ro.
lando. when / pulled up in front OF
my lady friends front gate.
My market price was $4,000
square inch.
In six minutes by the watch Clara
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1907-07-18
Tantallzlnu Metal.

A rare metal which has attrag'
universal attention during the
TWO years. while before 1t was sca'
iy known outside of some scienu
laboratories, is tantalum. so hSu
by Its discoverer. Ekelberg. on i
count OF the tantalizing dlfncu.
experienced In extracting the n,
from Its ores. Tantalum is one o.
hardest substances known, anu
use for scientific instruments
doubtless be developed in yer,
markable degree,-Engineerins A''
zine.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1907-07-18
Good Fishing Around canital


The ancient and fascinating pastime
OF angling has many votaries In Wash.
inston, who find ample opportunities
these days to crafty their hobby. This
does not apply to the game fishermen
the experts with fly and casting rod
out to the common every day garden
worm fisherman who with line and
sinker angles for white perch and cat.
FISH On a pleasant day it will be hos.
siole to see a thousand lines a.wettine
from the Long bridge to the Chain
bridge, There will he men and bovs
In boats, on the wharves and FISHING
from the sea wall and river and banl,
And most of them catch something
This Is the white perch season bpt
the fish are running small this wear
The oldtimers say that the proper wav
TO fish for white perch is to use a
heavy sinker and fish on the bottom
as the big perch swim deep. Tho
cattiesh are biting and some fine
specimens are caught. They are good
eating, too as they are the blue chan.
mel cats, and they put up a fight almost
as vicionsly as plymouth bass
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1907-07-18
Fishlnu Time.

Some piscatorial equiVocator
the audacity to send me a Sleeps
postcard made In the shape OF ~
fish, with a one-cent stamp on us
Printed on one side was this: W. y.
telling about it don't let your ~
fish turn into a whale OF cou.
an appeal to the post office ueI,
ment will be made. This is llOe"
matter.-N. Y, Press.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1907-07-18
M anIlke.

Breathless, they stood at last upon
the towering Adirondack peak.
There" she said angrily, I'VE have
climbed all this distance to admire
the beauties of nature, and we left
the glass at home"
TRANQUILITY smiling, he shifted the
lunch basket to the other arm.
Never mind, dear" he said. TT
won't hurt us. just this once, to drink
out of the bottle"
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1907-07-18
Toad as Assistant earden.r

BY actual inspection OF a big
toad's stomach it was found TO
tain not less than so large grape
worms, 55 potato bugs, 60 sowbugs
angleworms, with, by way Of sea!
Ing, numerous flies and moSqult
Now multiply this, and | think
VIII appreciate the value of an al
OF toads on your premises, or
number required, according to
services that may reasonably be
pected from one oad.-Subur
Life.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1907-07-18

was HcI Sdhuf DOy TOT sure.
Just then something snapped ana
the machine started for Portland.
Maine. on the basis of mile In eight
seconds.
Clara Jane grabbed me around the
neck and ! grabbed the lever.
The eccentric has buckled the
thingamajig!" yelled. pushing the
lever over to stop the carryall.
The thing gave me tho horse laugh,
jumped over a telegraph pole bit It's
way through a barbwire fence and
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1907-07-18
Where He Got II

"Phwere did yez git tn black eye p"
Fell on me back"
Yer eyes not in yer back"
"Nayther was tn brick Kelly threw"
Cleveland Leader.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1907-07-18
Perhaps He Was III. On, 70 e,,,,.

Tcrnaps ne was the one to Blame,
Hicks-He first met his wife when
he was on a camping trip down in
the Maine woods, but their marriage
isn't happy.
Wicks-Ah, ! see. He mlstook her
for dear.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-11-29

last Christmas until November. wher
they filed these charges?"
Yes was the reply.
Why" asked the attorney.
Because the board has been long-suf'
fering and patient
''If they were of SO serious a character
that you think he ought to be dismissed
because of them, why did the board de-
lay"
Did the board dictate the appointment,
of teachers when DR.. Chancellor firs
came here?" Mr. Cox was next asked.
II never heard of II until recently
said Mr.. Cox.
Did not the board prepare a list ane
present 1t to him for appointments wher
he came here?" asked Mr.. Fulton.
1T is customary to submit lists pre-
pared in routine way" stated Mr.. Cox
Declared to Be False.
Il will say that charge is absolutely
false" added Capt. Oyster. replying tc
the attorney.
Who made up that list-Hughes? Mr.
Fulton next asked
1T was made In the usual way. j take
superintendent and principals, stated
Mr.. Cox.
ents?' 80.
Hughes and Montgomery.
Was Chancellor acquainted with tine
personnel of the teachers them? asked
the attorney.
No" stated Mr.. Cox.
DO you mean the teachers IN III this
questioning" asked President Oyster.
Yes" stated Mr.. Fulton.
II thought you meant the officers OF the
schools" stated Mr.. Oyster.
Then you wish to withdraw ysur de-
NAL as regards the lists of teachers: MI.
Fulton pressed. :
ut was the desire of the board. not to
dismiss any teachers who were Entitled
10 hold their positions. and the board tok
that action" stated Capt. Oyster.
That concluded the session. and 1t was
agreed to meet next at 3 o'clock on Mon
day afternoon.