The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-06-15
TOWN TALK
BY THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.

/ have a scheme to keep the Japa-
nese from leaving Hawaii for the
mainland. Make them sandwich men
and keep them in the Sandwich ISL
ands. Organize the Sandwich Man
Advertising Co. and pay them good
wages to march through the city and
suburban streets with the signs of
merchants on their fronts and backs.
Advertising space thus filled would pay
them their wages and leave a neat
profit for the Promotion Committee.
hungry townsman standing on the cor
ner, for example, would be thinking
where to get dinner, when along would
stroll a sandwich man with the menu
of a restaurant displayed on the board
in front of him. If the menu was long
the first course could be advertised on
one sandwich man and the pedestrian
public would with interest await the
coming of the next sandwich man to
know what he was going to have af-
ter his soup.
- :" Z" y
What's the matter with Jack and
Mrs. London of the Shark doing the
romantic and taking to her husband in
far Midway the young wife condemned
by heartless government to stay
mere until she jolly well learns to
walk the water or can secure some
vessel other than a government boat
to convey her thither.
& 8 {. 4
If there's anything | enjoy for hui
man interest it is baby show-a real
live baby show. More human nature
comes out at baby show than could
be found even at a meeting of the
Supervisors or an interview with Gov
ernor Carter Everybody's baby is just
the ickiest ickle umphy darling that
ever put a parent through a post
graduate course of patience-and love.
I'd like to be spieler at a baby show,
if they had spielers at infant exposi-
tions, and hand out the Teddy bear
prizes and soothing syrup. Soothing
syrup for consolation prizes, how
would that go?
Step this way lively, mothers and
fathers and candidates for both honors.
Behold the finest aggregation of wee
wonders, soul-shells, cute kids, dim
pied darlings, pretty pets, sweet che
rubs, mama's angels, bawling brats,
lovely innocents. icky dears and lovely
doves. Visitors will please not feed the
exhibits. Pass on to the next cage,
now Here we have forty-pound two
year-old with six teeth and the usual
number of features-count them-he
has vocabulary of 81 words and is
not an advertisement for any patent
food except his mother This one with
the golden eyes and purple hair is a
prodigy. At home he has savings
bank and detects a tainted nickle as
soon as offered and thereupon refuses.
He is a good boy and no doubt will
grow up to be a newspaper man"
= : :: Z:
So Bernard Kelekolio has decamped-
levanted, leaving a weeping wife, and
some wailing creditors behind. Poor
Bernard, peace be to the ashes of his
local eloquence. His were burning
words, his was a fiery tongue. that
scorched his political opponents, that
crisped them to a cinder-hence the
ashes.
! remember Bernard we'll He was
Ia delegate from the scrapping Fifth in
the last county convention. Bernard.
was as cocky as a, cock sparrow, as
lull OF suppressed Parliamentary points
as the original old Parliamentarian.
himself. There was the biggest kind
OF a row on. Somebody had said that
they ought to call simply the sur
names of the delegates, some body else
had said that they ought to give their
full names. The debate was fierce.
Then Bernard sprang to the rescue.
In voice, trembling with emotion
of the % carat intensiveness he ex-
claimed Mr.. Speaker | rise to a
question of personal privilege. The
gentleman's point of order is not well
taken?"
Which gentleman. inquired the
chair.
Il leave that for the speaker to de-
eide said Bernard with a Chester
heldian gesture, and then be subsidized
for the remainder of the session. ex-
cept when it came to adjourn.
:: :. 3 3
nave found out how the visiting
| Congressman came to be so profound
ly impressed with the need of a light
house on the west coast of Kauai. It
came about through a story Captain
! Tullet told them. He said that years
ago a schooner used to run between
Honolulu and Waimea. The master
was a wonder, being able to make hiS
landing at Waimea in any kind OF
weather and in the darkest nights He
! gained VVpnHrrc,,T