The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-04-18
SOME NEWSPAPER
CKAFF.
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II the day looks kinder gloomy
An your chances kinder slim,
If the situations puzzln'
And the prospects awful grim.
An perplexities keep pressin'.
Till all hope is nearly gone,
Jus bristle up. and grit your teeth,
An keep on keepin on.
-Hapgood's Opportunities.
Young husband-Don't you think,
darling. that my smoke is likely to
spoil the curtains7
Young wife-You are the best and
most conslderate husband that ever
lived. dear or course II would.
Young husband-Well, then. you
had better take them down-Illus.
tratcd Bits.
Capt. c. A. NJ. Taber, the marin
er. poet and scientist, who lives in
the following little tale anent the AFRO
gance OF sea captains.
II is almost impossible, he says,
for n passenger to get anything like
civil answer from the commanders
of some of our large ocean steam
ships. If you ask even the simplest
question, in the most polite manner,
you are likely to receive 4 grutf re-
sponsc.
One of these captains happened to
be standing near the bow Of his boat
one day, taking observations with his
glass.
do you know what ship that is?"
asked passenger.
Go ask the cook, replied the cap
tain, without taking the glass from his
eyes.
"Oh, I beg your pardon said the
other. 81 thought you were the cook. ="
-Lippincotts.
A French provincial paper has a
story of a gamekeeper who, going his
round one night. saw poacher and
pursued him. but lost him on the high
way In the darkness. Soon motor
car came up. and the keeper accepted
an offer from the occupants to get in
for the purpose of following the poach-
or. But nothing could be seen of the
culprit, and when the keeper asked to
be let down there was burst OF laugh
ter and an intimation he would find
himself in Paris before morning in the
twilight the motor stopped in the
Place de la Concorde, the keeper was
thrown out, and the party-which of
course, included the poacher-drove
away. The unlucky keeper had 10
pawn his Gun in order to pay his
train fare back.-Exchange
When young Vanderbilt was in Eu'
rope native of France, taking him
he thought OF those dogs of Americans
who rush about French country roads
trying to kill people. II have a sick
hog said the peasant, which | will
drive into the road and you kill it
Then | will collect from your master
and divide. .'-Argonaut.
THAT was n good dinner. The sour
was o. X, the fish couldn't have been
botter, the wines were all right; but
I don't know why they served that
kidney stew. | never did like kidney
stew. couldn't eat it.
The speaker was a Brooklyn realty
operator. lie was on his way home
from a Manhattan club with his host
n club member, The answer came
quickly:
"My dear boy. you don't appreciate
tho luxuries OF life. That kidney stew
was terrapln."
pretty expensive, eh?"
"The most expensive thing you car
eat, barring larks' tongues or robins
lvers."
Well" said the rea'ty man, III
must be an acquired taste. couldn'
have told It frgm kidney, barring
them pesky little bones. ."-Brooklyr
Eagle
-
At dinner In New York, Davic
Belasco dssected with delicate anC
cruel wit n certain playwright. Thii
playwright is successful; he produce
half a dozen pieces every year; but 1
Is admitted on all sides that he owe
all his best ideas to playwrights wht