Bisbee daily review., 1907-08-18
THE TERROR'S DINNER
"RattIesnakes on Toast" Was
 the Cowboys Order.
BUT HE MET WITH HIS MATCH
The Promptness With Which the Tough Waiter Served the Dish Took the Tsrror's Nerve Away-The Re- past and the Final Request.

Tough Waiter Served the Dish Took
 the Tsrrer's Nerve Away-Ths Re.
 past and the Final Request.
 Away back in 1876 a man named Turpin established restaurant ir Yuma, and among Turpin's original employees was n waiter named Jot Straight, who could shoot with great precision, play draw poker with un varying success and pack eightee. plates of miscellaneous grub upon one bare arm at one time. He could exc cute all the prevailing melodies either on plano or guitar, and he possessed the most tremendous baritone voice ever heard in Arizona. Why, men scmc times went to Turpin's just to hear Joe deliver gastronomic orders. No per feet description can be given of that voice, however, except to say that al times 1t really did make things chatter
 Once a fresh young cowboy from near Gila Bend entered Turpins for a Christmas dinner who took q startling concoc,.on as an appetizer and then dropped thud-like at a table and rough ly shouted to Straight:
 Say. there. Baldy! Bring me some grub!'
 Job was at first appalled,; but. recov' ering his reserve limit of equanimity he brushed an imaginary breadcrumh from the frescoed tablecloth and whisked a bill of fare from the varie gated castor end placed it before the new young terror of the Bend.
 Take it away~ cried the latter in tones that could give Straight's ordi nary, everyday baritone castle and checkmate it in five moves. "i don't want to read your alarmed old tract I don't care darn who came into the world to save sinners. Bring me some grub--g-r-u-b! Grub! Grub! Grub!'
 What do you wantT
 "Rattlesnakes on toast! And want you to hump yourself"'
 Whats that?"
 i've given my order, you baldheaded old cigar store sign, and want you to get a move on yourself, p. d. q. Rattle snakes on toast!'
 "Rattlesnakes on toast." cried Job to the cook in accents that would have paralyzed Carl Formes had that old basso profundo been living and heard them.
 "Rattlesnakes on toast"' was the re verberating response from the cook upon receiving the order.
 There were dozen or more people in the restaurant and their eyes were at once turned on the young person from the Bend and the infuriated waiter.
 In the meantime the cook had taken a big catfish and cut it into four strips and rolled these strips in batter. so that they much resembled the vland or dered, and after placing them in the frying pan he stuck his head out of the kitchen and shouted to Job:
 You want them rattlers rare or well done?"
 The waiter repeated the interrogatory in a cyclonic way, and the terror re piled in as violent a tone and manner as be could command. Well done. with plenty of gravy and Chilli Colorado"
 And then Job thundered to the cook:
 Well done. with plenty of Chili Colo rado. hot as -, and mOccasin gravy on tue side and brOchettes of sand crane livers and Gila monster lights"'
 There was an instantaneousIy dead silence in that restaurant, and all eyes were again cast upon the terror and the waiter. The former turned ashen lo kn while Job gszed at his victim.
 Maybe you don't think we can serve all the market affords" muttered Job. Maybe you don't like moccasin gravy or brochettes a la mode. Maybe you ain't hungryr'
 Say! You've got mel ain't hungry, so help me. couldn't eat single hard boiled egg. Countermand that durned order. old man, and I'll pay all ex- penses and set 'em up as long as any body can drink Beg pardon, gentle men, all. My first attempt to be a ter ror-pardon me, gentlemen. It's my lastw
 And then he handed his revolver to Job and added: .s,
 1ohe tudL pLStOl, Olu nah' dS al present and promise me that the next time any durned fool comes in here and calls for rattlesnakes on toast you'll shoot him deadr'
 But Straight was too raving mad all the way through to willingly emerge from a situation only tolerably tri- umphant. So he took the weapon just as the order was being placed on the table and, pointing 1t at the terror. exclaimed:
 Now, then, my boy, dump yourself into that chair and eat them snakes bones, skin and allr'
 The young fellow did as he was com manded, but after finishing his repast staggered the uncompromising Job by shouting:
 'I say, Baldy. bring me another plate of snakesp'-Denver News.