davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04
HUMOR OF THE Day

City Editor-Did you Interview that high
public official on the cocktail ineident2
sure p until after he's had Chance to to re-
pudiate the observation-disclosures Free
Press
can alter my regard for Jiggins. He's a
man you don't meet every day"
at il to the fae5 shst SSns std him
ard.
Mother-Now. you sit down in that chair
and be good for ten minutes.
ten minutes. and I'll have to be good, any
way.-Judge.
She-For nearly an hour 1 suffered I'M
He-What was the trouble-didn't you
have anyone to tell 1T to?-Chicago Daily
News
Poet-Darling. have sold my sonnet Al
Wife-Oh, Algernon! And now 1 can
have that Persian lamb coat. and sssHl
Poet-Not yet. dear. had to spend the
money to get a pair of socks.-Cleveland
Leader.
Mike. said Flooding Pete, what would
you say if some one was to offer you
Il wouldn't say anything. Such a bad
judge of human nature wouldn't be worth
talkin' o."-Washington Star.
tom. it's dreadful for you to lose 8,
much money gambling"
do you want me to renounce the care
tab,e?'
mo, dear; 1 want you to play a bette,
game."-Judge.
isn't he one of the most successful L.
nanciers of the times?
II should say so! Why three grand ia
ries have tried in vain to get him in jail
Baltimore American.
Singleton-Your wife seems to be an III
tO-date woman.
Wedderly-Huh, She's away ahead "
the date. Why, she has a lot of troubie
borrowed for next year.-Chicago DALI
News.
do you think, colonel" asked the beau
tiful girl, that there is ever likely to L,
another clash between the north and III,
south?"
NO" he replied a little sadly, "wha;
would be the use. my deah young lady, Cf
trying to save the south now? Most OF
has gone dry.'-Chicago Record-Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04
Dollar for Dollar.

Congressman Victor Murdoch met
Taylor Riddle-he who used to be
chairman of the Populist state COM
mittee-on a train few days ago. Mr.
Murdoch asked Mr.. Riddle for his
views on the present situation. Rid
die replied in substance that in 1896
when Kansas and the west was almost
bankrupt as result of crop failures
and scarcity of money the east rose
up as one man and demanded of the
west that they meet their obligations
promptly in good 1oo-cent dollars
with no reputation. Taylor said that
the west came through" but it
took luxuries from the home, the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04

It Is a mighty i'll wind that can
not raise the dust on Kansas avenue.
-
Right soon now an admonition to
keep cool will be superfiuous.
4 = n
Old but good advice. II you stick
your finger in the fire you're bound
to get burned.
~ 4
A hundred in the pocket Is more
useful Just now than ten thousand in
the bank.
Natural gas is cheap and like all
cheap things it cannot be depended
on.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04
GLOBE SIGHTS.
[From the Atchison Globe. !

o..
| When you can't do things your
| enemies think you won't.
Your friends may not always know
your strong points, but your enemfe.
are well posted on your weak ones.
Being a hypocrite is bad enough
but 1t does not make as many peoDIt
uncomfortable as brutal franknes.
does.
Even If a woman is economical. he
husband will go to bed better conteni
If he finds she hasn't been down towr
all day.
The people who have most charit>
for the erring are usually those who
refuse to give honest men the credIi
they deserve.
What has become OF the old fash,
Toned girl who put a CULVER in her
voice when she sang that suggested
chills and the tomb?
We have offended a good deal &c
an amateur. but we have the satisfac-
ton of remembering that we never
charged anything for our services.
Fashion notes: A man used 20
stand In danger of getting a single hair
on his coat, but he Is fortunate these
days II he gets away without a strinS
of curls.
A rare plant in a hothousa tsn,,
guarded more tenderly than a riri
during her engagement, but. as the
tected like the weed.
When a man meets a woman III.
first question is, where have WIS o,s
been?" in order that she will get 40
interested in telling she will forSet ~
ask where he has been. "
Being successful in business. 10 .
constant worry that those who owe 70,
will not pay; failure in business e.
nstant worry that those you owa
will demand payment
II nature didn't intend a girl to taka
to frills, rufiies and curls. It Is . css,
cature Of fashion when she attannt.
It. An Atchtson girl was built or H.
straight. simple and uncuriad I, inc
but she Is trying to make herself oves'
and Is wearing marcelled hair. cnrIs
waves, etc Sometimes these wsve:.
hang on to her left ear. and soroe
times on to the right ear, but thev are
never in the right place. IT isn,t 10
her to be frizzed, and she nieht a..
We'll ADMIT 1t and drop back to ma.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04
FROM OTHER PENS
RATHER PERTINENT.

President. Woodrow Wilson objects
to President Roosevelt because he is
told that as soon as Roosevelt thinks
he talks The only way to make a
thought valuable to anybody. but the
thinker is to give it expression, orally
or in writing. A great many people
get a reputation for wisdom by saying
nothing, when If they started to talk
their shallowness would be discovered.
Roosevelt has given the world a great
many good thoughts, whether they
were uttered as soon as formed or not.
If the president of Princeton college
has contributed as much to the
worlds progress or the worlds peace,
or the worlds prosperity by his ex-
pressed opinions, as has President
Roosevelt, the world is yet to learn OF
flynn (Mass.) Evening Item.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04

The verdict of mot guilty" in the
1drs. Bradley case only goes to DEM
onstrate again that it is we'll nigh i'm
possible to secure at the hands of an
American jury, the conviction of a
woman for murder in the first degree
when there Is any evidence to show
that she has been wronged grievously
or otherwise be her victim. The IA
NOUS Nan Patterson case will be re-
called as another example OF this
fact.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04

Chicago comes to the front with
something novel in the way of clubs.
To be eligible to membership In the
new organization one must be a grass
widow or a grass widower. Already
2ss men and women have applied for
membership. Probably the funda-
mental idea underlying the club is
how to profit by the mistakes of the
past and not get lemonized the next
time
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
FFrorn the New York Press.I

lFroIh lhe Ne" AolA IiosS-I
When a girl isn't married by thirty
she acts as II she would soon be old
enough to go to school.
When you didn't lose your money
in a panic you have to give it to your
relatives and friends who did.
A reception is place where women
don't have a good time IL they are in
vited and get mad II they aren't
The list of invited guests to we'd
ding given to the papers by the brides
family are the ones who don't come.
If q man doesn't make much noise
explaining how much he knows about
a thing he probably understands IT.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04

Good for General Hughes, the
councilman from the Sixth ward.
There may be some differences of
opinion over the propriety of filming
men and boys who are caught riding
on bicycles in the state house grounds
But there is no good reason why the
fines of some should be RENTED and
the fines of others made to stand.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04

Robert NJ. La Toilette. U. S. senator
from Wisconsin, has added materially
TO his qualifications as presidential
timber. He has returned recently
from a bear and deer hunt and has
had his pictures taken with the tro-
phies of the chase.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04

clothes and food from the children
and left the homes almost desolute.
but the west paid in good. hard dol
lars. Now" said Taylor to Vic,
when you get back there We don t
want any asset currency. We want
you to see that the east comes through
and pays the west what 1t owes IN
good. hard money."-Kansas City
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04

Senator Curtisof Kansas can no long
CT pose as the only wearer of toga
who is a descendant of the original
American race. He will have to divide
the honors with Senator Owen of Ok
lahoma who is proud of one eighth
Cherokee Indian blood In his veins.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04

Not a second glance. is needed at
the batting averages of the ball
players in the western association to
realize that they refer to work on the
diamond with the willow. Some of
them averaged nearly 1000 in bat
ting" along other lines.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04

Commentator is due the city coun-
ell for passing drastic ordinance to
prohibit the indiscriminate sale of
morphine and cocaine which has been
INDUCED in too freely.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04

Washington dispatches say that
Joseph L. Bristow came near getting
another federal appointment from the
president the other day. Mr.. Roose-
Welt is reported as saying that he
would like nothing better than to give
Mr.. Bristow another job. The next
Job at Washington that Mr. Bristow
bankers after is United States sena-
torship from Kansas. There are
others.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04

IT'S a case Of out Of the frying pan
and into the fire for John r. Hage-
man, president of the Metropolitan
Life Insurance company. Maybe he
can get some satisfaction out of be-
ing freed from charges of forgery
only to be held on charges Of perjury,
but the average individual would not.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04

William H Taft, secretary OF war.
q. S. A, was welcomed to Moscow in
q way quite different from that &C
corded to Napoleon.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04
Condolences are peculiar things al

Condolences are peculiar things al
ways. So is this one in particular.
Whenever cold day comes suddenly
and the gas stoves are needed at full
blast, then there is a shortage in the
gas supply. And the reason that is
given by the local gas company is al
ways the same-"They're fixing the
pumping plant at Scipio.''
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04

r. F. Hayden, Judge of the probate
court, evidently does not think much
Of "spotter" evidence. There are lots
Of folks like him in this particular.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04

Because Aoki, the Japanese ambas-
Rador to the United States, has been
recalled at just about the time that
the big United States fleet is to set
sail for the Pacific. the Jingoes Will
have a fine chance to yell that a war
Is imminent.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04
PLENTY OF MONEY.

An Oregon farmer disposed OF his
wheat crop the other day for little
more than $4,000. Under the cir
cumstances he probably takes only a
mild interest in the rumor that the
country needs more ready money
Washin gton Post
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS-

The State Journal In member 2S ire
Associated Press and re~@ivss the fr1 Day
telegraph report OF tnat Sreat news OF
ganisation FOR the exclusive afternoon
publication III Topeka.
The news is received in The State jour
nal building over wires for this sole pur.
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04
PROBABLY SO,

It is thought that the Texas mar
who predicted that the world woult
"come to an end" on the first of Jan
uary next is an anti-prohibitionist wht
left Georgia when the late legislature
Observation-Disclosures Constitution.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04

r. c. Horne. who shot H. ]. Groves
and o. D. Woodward during an alter
cation over the affairs of the Kansas
City Post, expresses sorrow over the
resulting death of Mr.. Groves. That
doesn't help Mr.. Groves at this time.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04

Far more exciting and interesting
would 1t be for the units of the bat
tleship fleet to indulge in a real race
from Hampton Roads through the
Straits of Magellan and on to Frisco.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04

Deep breathing is the thing to try II you
are feeling slack,
1t brightens the lack-lustre eye and
straightens I'D the back.
1t soothes you when you cannot sleep; 1T
makes you hale and stout,
And furthermore it's sure to keep your
hair from falling out.
Deep breathing Is the thing for you If you
are on the fritz:
It drives away the devils blue and sharp-
ems up the wits.
To broken hearts or liyers had relfef If
soon will bring
Deep breathing is the latest fad. it's eood
for everything.
-Philadelohia Rultetin
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04
CERTAINLY.

OF course You can not lower the
tariff when tines are ticklish lest II
NAV make them worse: and you can
not lower it when times are good lest
it may upset things. The only states
manship. it seems, is postponement of
the necessary and tnevitaole.-New
York World
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04
Ts TT NOT THE TRUTH?

The fortune of So o00,0 600 left by the
late Robert Pinkerton shows that it
sometimes is profitable to mind other
peoples business.--Norton Telegram.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04
A SPREE SOMETIMES GOOD.

Prof. James. the most distinguishes
psychologist of America, IL not of the
world, says that a spree does some men
good. That doctrine. however. will not
tend to make psychology popular in
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04
KANSAS COMMENT
ONLY THE IGNoRANT SWEAR.

ONLY THE IGNORANT SWEAR.
The more ignorant the man. the moro
he swears. When you hear a man
swearing 1t is a sign that he is an ig-
norant man. and has lived in uncut
tured surroundings all his life. A we'll
known writer. on the development OF
language asserts that the use of ex-
pletives has been steadily diminishing
as result of the cultivation that rem
ders coarseness generally distasteful
Apart from the moral aspects of the
case. 1t is held that what may be call
ed the explosives of talk not only repel
the listener, but weaken the argument
An excess of gestures or facial express
sion, of grimaces, shrugs and manual
fourishes. either show the poverty OF
the tongue, or the lightness of the
cause advocated, and what are intend
ed as intensives have an opposite effect.
Globe
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04
no uArr no sTARyE.

They tell us the price of food nee
essities is going down, but man, un-
happily, can't live on expectatlons
however acknowledgements Ram
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04
FOOTBALL PROCEEDS.

Yale and Harvard divided $68,000
between them as the proceeds of last
Saturdays football game. Yale's to-
tai receipts for the season were $780,
900. 1t is suggested that the charac-
ter of college sport would be raised by
making it free, the expenses to be met
by endowment of the colleges. On the
other hand it looks sometimes as If
the colleges might rather be endowed
by football. That would still be an
advance over the lottery as a source
of funds.-Nebraska State Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04
MAY LOSE A FRIEND.

John d. Rockefeller says the worst
part of the money stringency is over.
and, furthermore, he refuses to believe
that Roosevelt was wholly responsible
for the trouble. John D. Is likely to
wake up some morning and discover
that he has lost the unanimous sup
port of Chancellor Day.-Chicago
Record Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04
KANSAS REGULATION.

Seeing how the joints prospered in
certain cities under the system Of reg
ulation is probably what caused the
harvester trust to conclude that in
view of the custer proceedings the reg
ulating process wasn't as bad as at first
thought.-Salina Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04
UP AGAINST IT.

Joseph S. LAUDER OF Waterbury,
Conn, a successful legal practitioner
and q Yale graduate, gives a new
reason for quitting the profession. He
wishes to engage in some occupation
where he will not see so much suffer-
ing He Will not find it in the minis
try, and certainly not In medicine.
And If he takes to farming what must
we saw of the agony caused by taking
away the cows child minneapolis
Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04
EyIDENTI.y. AGIN HIM.

The one clause of the federal const1-
tuition which President Roosevelt takes
seriously. and which, as he CONSTITUTES 1t,
nugatory, is the general welfare"
clause. He regards himself as the sole
judge of the general welfare. He knows
nothing and he cares nothing but for
the general welfare. Constitutional
Limitation on power or upon the powers
Of congress must be regarded as
straight jackets and shattered accord
ingly. For to him general welfare
means Roosevelt's political welfare. the
increase his power, the destruction OF
local self-government, and the concen-
tration of all political power in his own
hands. This Hamitonian Interpretation
Of the constitution is nothing new. 1t
is merely intensified under the present
inistration.-Parsons Eclipse.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04
FORGET THE DATE.

There will be a further drop in the
prices of provisions and meats" says
an Armour manager. He forgot to
name the date of the supposed previous
drop. There has been a drop per head
on the price Of the animal on hoof but
sausage holds to the same old imitation.
Wichita Eagle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04
WOULD SEEM so.

The Kansas supreme court has held
that when q railroad company puts
automatic couplers on its cars in COM
pliance with the federal law, the COM
pany's obligation ceases. 1t cannot be
forced to maintain the coupiers in good
repair after they are placed on the cars.
Is this an intimation that after a COM
pany has built It's road it cannot be
compelled to keep the tracks in repair
Kansas City Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04

isn't he one of the most successful l.
nanciers of the times?"
II should say so! Why, three grand ~
ries have tried in vain to get him in jail
Baltimore American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04

She-For nearly an hour suffered I'M
told agony.
have anyone to tell 1t to?-Chicago Daily
News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04

Mother-Now, you sit down in that chair
and be good for ten minutes.
Son--I don't want to. Pail be home in
ten minutes. and I'll have to be good, any
way.-Judge.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04

Mike, said Flooding Pete, what would
you say If some one was to offer you
work."
II wouldn't say anything. Such a bad
judge of human nature wouldn't be worth
talkin' to."-Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04

City Editor-Did you interview that high
public official on the cocktail incident7
Reporter-I think 1 did. but I'll not be
sure until after he's had a chance to re-
pudiate the interview.-Detroit Free
Press
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04

Poet-Darling, have sold my sonnet al
last
Wife-Oh, Algernoni And now I can
have that Persian lamb coat. and pszI5
Poet-Not yet. dear. had to spend the
money to get a pair of socks.-Cleveland
Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04

"Tom it's dreadful for you to lose So
much money gambling"
do you want me to renounce the care
ia b.e?'
mo. dear; want you to play a bette,
game."-Judge.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-12-04

Singleton-Your wife seems to be an u
to-date woman.
Wedderly-Huh, She's away ahead ~
the date. Why, she has a lot of troubi,
borrowed for next year.-Chicago Dali
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1907-12-04
sNow. sLEEr. BLlzzARps. ouAkEs
Hicks Program All Sorts Of Disagree.
able Things for This Month.

Ice, snow and sleet, blizzards in the
Northwest and heavy gales in the lake
region, togetl- sr with q real old-fash-
ioned, snowy Christmas are the
items on the weather program for De-
eember mapped out by the meteCro-
logical proghosticator, Rev. Irl r.
Hicks.
Between Wednesday and Sunday he
expects storms of rain which will turn
to sleet, and then to snow, passing from
west to east across the country. Biz
yards may visit some sections and the
waters of the great lakes win be lashed
into great fury. From about Decem-
ber 8 70 We may have a bitter cold
wave, and hear of earthquakes in other
parts of the world.
The second storm period will be
reactionary, with fitful. stormy con-
ditions. The third storm period, from
December IL to 10, WILDE marked with
excessive storms of rain, snow and
sleet, attended and followed by high,
dangerous, winter gales, particularly
on the seas. Another seismic and vol
canie crisis will center on December
-, covering three days before and after
that date.
Heavy snow will be the feature in
the fourth storm period, which will
include Christmas day. In the fifth
period, from December rs to the end
of the month, there wip Se sudden
changes. DIR. Hicks says warmer
weather win be here december 28.
but that a sudden change 20 blizzard
viii follow. He prophesies that the
old year win 60 out with great cold
wave from the northwest.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1907-12-04
Iu,t. Plain old.F..hioned p.r.

Thanksgiving WIS celebrated in Viro-
qua in quiet way, the day being given
over to family and neighborhood gath
erings. It was a beautiful, clear day,
no snow mante,ing Mother earth, and
so mild that the boys and girls We're
deprived of any sport on the ice, as is
usual at that happy period. business
houses were all closed most of the day
One innovation was holding Thanks
giving services in the evening, congre
cations uniting in union worship at the
Congregational church. The discourse
by Rev. G.. r. Buffers is voted model
in sentiment and thought, Rev. Sarles
conducted the other features of the APP
propfiate service, double quartet fur
nishing dne song program.
Modern Woodmen and Mystic Work
ers IN the evening had enjoyable social
parties at the halls, well attended and
much appreciated by members and their
friends. Altogether Thanksgiving in
Yiroqua was IN the spirit Of the times.