davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1907-12-22
Saw His Own Finish,

Some time ago the wife Of Judge
Blank lost her cook, and, since she had
no other resource. she rolled up her
sleeves and for a week provided such
meals as the Judge had not enjoyed
since those happy days when the
Blanks did not keep cook. The
judges delight was so great that by
way Of appreciative acknowledgment
he presented Mrs. Blank with beau
tiful errnine cloak. Quite naturally the
incident was a good deal noised about
among the social acquaintances of the
Blanks and a spirit of envious emula-
ton was developed in certain quarters.
1t was In this mood that Mrs. Jerome
recited the story to her husband.
What do l get, Jerry" she asked,
eff will do the cooking for a week 2"
WELL" said Mr.. Jerome, "at the end
of a week. my dear, you'll get one of
those long Grape veils."-Argonaut
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1907-12-22
acck Candy.

"Originalsy what is how known as
rock candy explained confectleneI
to a reporter. "was called In the trade
Gibraltar rock Originally. also. it WIS
the pIresf kind OF candy. for If was
crystaIlized sugar pure and simple.
Ordinarily II is purer now than Elany
other candies. Hawthorne, Ia The
House OF the Seven Gables describ
ing a small store. says, For instance
there was a glass pickle jar filed with
fragments of Gibraltar rock-not, in
deed, splinters of the yeritable fortress.
but bits of delectable candy Other
writer's of even earlier date than that
speak OF Gibraltar rock. 1t appears,
however, that the Gibraltar was finally
dropped. and it became known as rock
candy. |. have price list issued in
1S4S to the candy trade in which Gil
braltar rock is the name given. though
after that it Is quoted as rock candy.
Throughout England it is known as
Gibraltar almost exclusively outside of
the large cities. In the latter, as here,
the Gibraltar is dropped. and it is
called rock candy"
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1907-12-22
The Hanging Judge.

When Lord Norbury, 1.-The hanging
judge" as he was called in Ireland,
was sentencing a man to death for
stealing a watch he said:
"My good fellow, you made a grasp
at time and caught eternity"
Nothing seemed to please Lord Nor
bury more than the continual uproar in
court, created by his puns.
What is your occupation, my honest
MANI" he asked a witness.
Please. your lordship, I keep q
racket court"
80 do l." said the judge.
When Lord Norbury was being
buried, the grave was so deep that the
ropes by which the undertaken was let
ting down the coffin didn't reach to the
bottom. The coffin was left hanging
midway while somebody went for new
ropes.
AYE" cried one in the crowd, "give
him rope enough: don't stint him. He
was the boy that never grudgeG rope
to poor body"
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1907-12-22
A Dismal Failure.

A young jobbing firm in New York
overbought for the fall trade. Their
heaviest mistake had been in a line of
evercoats. which, it looked. they would
have to carry over a season. Efforts to
get cash for the stock were fruitless
except at rufnous rates. At last the
firm went to an old timer in the trade
for advice.
Well" said the man of experience,
you've got a pretty good list of Gus
toners. Just divide the coats up into
lots of thirteen each Send a batch
apiece to some Of your sharpest Gus
toners but make out the bills for
twelve. They'll be SO tickled to get
one coat for nothing that they'll take
'em all"
The scheme had been tried before
the men met again. The old timer
waited for his praise.
We'll. didn't they keep the coats?''
he asked.
Yes returned the iobber sadly.
zone each-the one that wasn't billed"
New York Times.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1907-12-22
THE BEST FARM PAPER
FOR OUR SECTION

Editor Schercr OF the Starkville,
Mississippi, Southern Farm Gazette,
asks us to correct the published ru-
NOR that he is TO move to Raleigh
He will remain in Starkville, will
maintain the regular Gazette Office,
and will continue his work by
which the Gazette has become the
leading paper for the farmers OF Miss
issippi, Alabama, Louisiana and Ark
ansas; and everybody wishing to
reach the Gazette may address it at
Starkville as heretofore
Rather than spend $4,000 for full
ly. equipped printing outfit, however
Mr.. SGherer has arranged Tor offices
in Raleigh, making an advantageous
contract for printing the paper here
during 1908, and the first number OF
the new and enlarged and improved
Weekly Gazette, just issued, bears
out the promise to make it the best
farm paper that was ever printed for
the lower South
We are glad to announce that we
we have arranged a clubbing offer
good for 90 days only, whereby We
are enabled to offer the new Weekly
Gazetted with the Sunday TiInes
for only S3.25 the regular price
for both papers being $3.50. Subscribe
promptly and send all orders to thi.
Office
We could get other farm paper:
cheaper, but we want a paper tina
will be OF real help and value to on
fTmers-.and the Gazette fills the BIZ
Sind on your orders.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1907-12-22

The fur seal is beautiful creature,
long and slender, and has small. deli
cate head, from which its two large
eyes gaze az you with an expression
almost human. Its body is covered
with a heavy coat of soft brown fur.
hairs. which have to be pulled out be-
fore the dyeing process that changes
Its. color to the well known velvety
black. The seal has four flippers. two
In front and two behind They are
very powerful propellers, enabling 1t
with ease to catch the fish upon. which
It lives.-Outing
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1907-12-22
Proof of Marian Life.

That life is in Mars is founded on no
assumption, but on massed evidence
that is conclusive, and the reader
should realize that opposition to the
idea that we now have proof of life
on Mars is not based ON reason, but on
emotion, however speciously cloaked.
All scientific objections have been met
and shown untenable as to tempera-
ture, snow. etc, but human prejudice,
as with the Copernican system or the
origin of species. time alone can dispel.
Professor Lowell in Century.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1907-12-22
All Alone,

Some legends. especially those with
moral, die hard. A little boy had
told fib with the carelessness of
imaginative childhood and was receiv-
ing the conventional rebuke, coupled
with the threat that the conventional
reward of the future would not be his
unless he told the truth.
Won't there be anybody In heaven
who has told a story?" asked the small
boy, much interested.
mo. DEAR" answered his teacher al
q venture.
The small boy drew long breath
of deep reflection. How jolly dull fol
George Washington he remarked
London Chronicle.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1907-12-22
EConCmy.

Economy is the science of buying a
one may be had for Sd. 1t is a harm
less and fascinating pursuit for those
who can afford it, but poor man has
no business to fritter away his time
and substance on such extravagances.
Women are particularly addicted to it
and often become so skillful that they
are able to get through January with
out encroaehing on their April allow
ance. Men who have such wives are
naturally very proud of them and are
willing to redouble their efforts, If nee
essary, in order to provide them with
the means to develop the habit.-Life.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1907-12-22
ENGLAND In Virginia.

II an Englishman wants to feel at
home at once in the Uuited States he
must so to Virginia. / was spoiled ev-
erywhere. but nowhere more than In
Virginia. They love England there
with special affection, are very proud
of their English ancestry, and at an
old Virginia country house such as we
visited during the week at Richmond
you might easily fancy yourself in an
old park in Sussex or Worcestershire.
Bishop of London In London Do
cesar Magazine. ~
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1907-12-22
A Classical Story.

/ am going to tell you classical
story. Listen: -.
The wooden horse was standing be-
fore the city Of Troy. X
"That seems a heavy beast" said
Paris to Hector. Now, what would
you say was its weight?'
Troy weight. Of course" replied
Hector
Il didn't mean that. you great hec-
toring brute!' was the reply. but the
wit of the other had turned Paris
green with envy.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1907-12-22
CaII;no a Skantic.

Wayback Senior--The time / went to
see Barnum's world famous white eie-
plant
Wayback Junior Gnterruptingl--He
never had white elephant. dad. 1t
was fake.
Wayback Senior (bristling upt--A
fake wuz 1t? Col durn We! s'pose ar
ter We go to college fer another year er
two ye'n be tellin' me never seen a
real live mermaid in a tank Nv water.
Brooklyn Life
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1907-12-22
SOUVENIR POST CARDS.
Twelve New York City Views for
Twenty-Five Cents. :.

Finest handsome post cards, includ
ing prominent buildings, places, etc,
full set comprises fifty subjects. Is
beautiful assorted colored post cards
including flowers, scenery, comics,
ETC., IS cents. 500 assorted post
cards for the trade, including hand
colored bromides, birthday cards,
best wishes, greetings, flowery, seen
cry, notices, comics, etc, all rrey
attractive de4gns, this ASSORTMENT
$500 F. O. b., N. Y.
F. RICHARDSON,
aSo Broadway, New York, N. Y
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1907-12-22
Cruel.

'T'm developing quite passion FOR
motoring said Miss Hoamley.
wonder IL It's harmful" ss
-Quite the contrary" replied Miss
Cutting. Il should think 1t would be
very becoming to you." ~
Elbow doyo mean hecoming1n
ssWen, you know, dear VOC can weaE
amask while motoring. st Louis Re
public. 5sa #aa ~ EEse ~ M
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1907-12-22
GUESSING at Il.

Lets see.' said Dudley what's the
rest of that on saying. don't you know,
that begins. Man proposes and -
s.sWhy." replied Mugley. its Man
proposes and the breach of promise
suit exposes isn't itf"-Philadelphi
Press.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1907-12-22
inside informal

well. you've won your bet that I
Wac going to marry that widow"
II knew would
But how did you know? scarcely
knew her when made the bet"
.sShe told e."-Houston Post.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1907-12-22
This Company is prepared to do
any kind of work on short motto
Great necessity come at last and
is now ready for trade.
LYON PACKET COMPANY
River Schedule
Effective March Q, 1907.

-En1ct.Ve Mdfcn 3, 1oo7.
Str. Speed" leaves Greenville daily
al $50 a. m. for Luna.
Leaves Luna daily at 4 p. m for
Greenville.
Str. 'Luella Brown" leaves Green
vile daily, except Sunday for Suany-
side at p m. Saturday at 8 o. m.
Monday morning at 7. a. m.
Leaves Sunnyside daily at 8 a. M.
and Saturday at 4 p. m. for Green
vile.
Connecting with the M. r. "A. &
w. Railway at Luna.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1907-12-22
For Sale

Fine large Texas pecans, well
flied. at so cents per pound. Some
extra large fancy pecans for plant.
ing purposes at $I.oo per pound. I.
OBJ. Address R. o. & o. L. Parker.
Hollandale. Miss. 1917 If
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1907-12-22
Quite Easy.

Do you know how to turn a steak
into tramp2 Nothing easier You
ask the tramp In. and. having dished
up the steak. ron set it on plate be-
fore him. That's all.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1907-12-22

A likeness Of yourself, for your
sweetheart, vile, mosher o. children
|scan Be made 1t Bells Studio On
Nashington avenup Il -13s IL Il
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1907-12-22
Pure bred Angora Goats from Tex
rs for sale by
I-I-oS. III. H. HIRSCH.
Boring Holes In Glass.

Here is the plan pursued by an OPP
tician when he wishes to bore holes
In glass. a drill borer heated to a
white heat is dipped into quicksilver
whereby 1t II eyeellently hardened and
sharpened by grinding on a milestone.
If the drill thus prepared is moistened
with ~ saturated solution of camphor
arid Oil Of t1rpentine and the bore hole
iskeptsrather moist, glass may be drill.
ed like wood Exchange.
i Sweet Oranges
50 and
Large Red and Yellow Apples
go to
GEORGE & NELMS CO.
Phone lot.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1907-12-22

LOST--Hoand Dog-Large, black
places on body; blue tick-tan head,
legs. and belly. Would bes called a
blae spotted dog Answers to name
OF "Rattlers $500 reward for iffov-
nation leading to recovery. ADDRESS
FL. RI Miller, NJ. d, Lamont Miss.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1907-12-22

High grade photographs are the
only kind made by Bell, the Photog-
raphed. II-15-dtf
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1907-12-22
Christmas Holiday Excursion.

Tickets will BE on sale via the Y.
& M. V. on Dee. 20, FL. 22. %. "a, 25,
80 81 and January 1, 1908, at one and
one-third fare plus 2sc for the round
trip, with final limit of January sta,
1908.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1907-12-22

LoST-can1eo Bslt Pin, between
Neianes & Blum and Sail K1ine'ss
Valuab1s bnl ysatu owner Return to
Tines ofsce frr reward: st.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1907-12-22

n Who demands justice must admins
Der justices German Proverh
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1907-12-22

FOR SALE-Real estate. / offer for
sale all of my real estate in Bolivar,
Washington and Sunflowers counties.
including my plantaton at Helm Sta
ton, Washington county, Miss. Fos
part;culas as TO prices and terms ap-
ply to W. A. Everman, Greenville,
Miss.
II-6-d-Im- GEO. NJ. HELM.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1907-12-22

3 5ietares. = Tor IS eeaes =
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1907-12-22
G.. Z. DANCE,

T. A, Y. & NJ. v
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1907-08-02
NOT A CANDIDATE.
Hon. Frank Adams Issues q
Statement TO Floridians.


The following letter from Hon
Frank Adams, making it plain thai
he would not be candidate for the
I. ). Senate at this time, appeared
in the Jasper News of last Friday:
To THE PEOPLE OF FLORIDA:
Some time ago feeling that | had
served as Senator from this county
/ long enough, and reasoning that the
county would not suffer by "office
| rotation | rendered to Governor
Broward my resignation, to take eff
feet at the general election in 1903.
This action on my part seems to have
been accepted as evidence that
would be candidate for the United
States Senate. This was not so in
tended.
He whose bosom would not swell
with pardonable pride at the recep-
tiOn of assurances of esteem and sun
port that have reached me from press
and people while associating nv
name with the United States Sena-
torship would have to be void of APP
probation, and low in the scale of
manhood. These letters, personal
assurances and newspaper kindness
es 90 far toward making life worth
living, and will be remembered and
cherished as long as treason sits en-
throned."
That man who says that he does
not want to go to the United States
Senate leaves room for doubt as to
his sincerity, and yet there are rea-
sons why a mans ambition should
De voluntarily surrendered or forci-
Dly restrained. | have two good and
sufficient reasons why | cannot con-
sent to attempt ambitions gratifica-
tion. The first is my family: The
most of my children are now at that
age, the important formative period
OF character, where a fathers guild
ing hand and restraining influence is
most needed, and should be most
freely given and most carefully exer-
clsed. The second reason is; Nv
business associates, and they number
a good many, had a right to feel
Wnen they linked their future with
mine that they would have the bene-
Mt OF such business assistance as my
presence would afford. These men
enter serious objection, feeling that
II l were successful | would be away
from my business the most of each
year. However. if in the wears TO
come lease of life is given, and my
domestic and business affairs so
shaped that l can afford it, and a
sufficient number of voters will COM
mission me, I shall gladly attempt
to represent, in part, our beloved
state In the upper. branch of the
national congress.
am not sufficiently egotistical as |
to feel that my being in the race, or
out OF 1t, will in any degree effect |
fIorfdas political situation. This is
solely as a duty to political
friends to free them for such action
as their good judgment may direct. |
With a heart filled with gratitude |
to the people and press of Florida, | |
am with great respect,
Yours truly,
FRANK ADAMS.
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1907-08-02
Their Great Peril.

The banker sat near his office door
With gold piled by his side;
4 step was heard on the outer floor
Then the door was opened wide:
a wild-eyed man pushed in with
haste,
With something in his arm,
And lightly on the table placed
a thing that threatened harm.
At once sprang up two daring clerks
Who threw the crank outdoors:
The banker, With convulsfve Jerks.
Crept off upon all-fours.
They feared it was nitroglycerin
And they'd to bits be blown:
Twas worse than any Internal ma
chine
1t was a loaded graphophone.
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1907-08-02
THE SUNSHINE SOCIETY.

Almost everyone IN this country
has either heard, or heard of, the
famous lecture of DR.. Willet on
Sunshine" This man-long the
dean of the lecture platform if liv-
ing is an Octogenarian, but living or
dead, he will not soon be forgotten
for his work in preaching the gospel
of good cheer.
Born of the spirit of this great lee
ture, there was organized several
years ago a society for the purpose
of perpetuating DR.. Willet's sun
shine creed.
This society is known as the Inter
nation Sunshine Society. and it bids
fair to merge into itself all the So
cieties of similar nature in this
country, such as the Don't Worry"
clubs, etc.
There are state organizations in
many of the states. There is one in
Florida, of which Mrs. Bradt of
Huntington is the president. Mrs.
Bradt has department of the Sun
day Times and all who
would become better acquainted
with the work of the Sunshine peo-
pie should read her department.
The motive of the Sunshine move
ment, as stated by its founder, "is to
encourage cheerfulness, individually
and collectively; to scatter the sun
shine of love; to do something each
day to tighten somebody's burden:
to do kindly deeds; to say kind
things; to be cheerful and look for
the good in life; to incite one another
in the performance of kind and help
full deeds, and to thus bring the sun
shine OF happiness into as many
hearts and homes as possible"
All of which is Christianity boiled
down to its essence-good cheer and
kindly service done for the Joy of
the doing, 1t is more than mere
singing of, "There's sunshine in nv
soul today"
1t is not mere selfish enjoyment
of sentiment or the enthusiasm of a
fervid emotion. 1t is the joy of SER
vice. 1t is the work Of meliorism. |
Hail to the Sunshine societies. We
could all join one with profit.
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1907-08-02
Treating Wrong Disease.

Many times women call on their family ply
slcIahs suffering. as they imagine, one from
dyspepsia, another from heart disease. another
from Iyer or kidney disease. another from
nervous exhaustion or prOStration, another
WIN PAIN here and there and in this way they
an present alike to themselves and their easy
gong ana indifferent, or over-busy doctor
separate and distinct diseases. for which he
assuming ass, them to be such, prescrbes his pills
ana Potons. IN reality, they are all only
symptoms caused by some uterine disease
Inc physician, ignorant OF the cause of suffer
ing, encourage this practice until large bills
are made The suffering patient gets no better,
out PROBABLY worse by reason Of the DELAY
wrong treatment and consequent complica-
lions. proper medicine like DR.. Pierce's
Eavorite Prescription. directed to the cause
Would nave entirely removed the disease.
thereby dispelllng all those distressing SWIM
toms, and ihstituting comfort instead Of PRO
iohSed misery. L has been we'll said, that "a
disease known IS half cured"
Dr Fierce's FayOrlte Prescription is a scien-
inc medicine, carefully devised by an eype-
lehceu and skillful physician, and adapted
70 10 woman delicate system. II is made of ma
i've medicinal roots and is perfectly harmless
IN lis effects in any condition of the system.
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1907-08-02
1T was nv defeat.

.
The member from Putnam intro
duced the resolution at my request
But he did not assume tn,
role of authorship.
II die, and like many an autho
before me, have seen my cherished
plan rejected, my fondest hopei
nipped in the bud, my ardent expec
tations receive the fatal rinky-dink. ,
The defeat of what Hennery love:
to call the Mckenzie resolution,
was natural; it was just The meas.
ure was known to be a L'EngIe resO-
luton, and Hennery was regarded
as the tool. The House was resent
ful of L'Engle's efforts to influence
its action. And the general impress
sion among members was that Hen
merry had made an ass of himself.
No, ass is hardly the word. But
that he had prostituted his high
office to become the tool, and do the
bidding, of one who sought to influ-
ence legislative action along such
lines as would benefit private inter
ests.
We regret that Hennery should
lose his temper. There was no occa-
sion for it, He used the language of
lOafer, and Hennery isn't loafer.
1t has been said that Whom the
gods would destroy they first make
mad We hope the gods will ex-
cuse Hennery this time, for we need
him in our business. We want to
have some fun with him. He has a
record.
Now to be serious, and though it
would perhaps sound better for
someone else to say it, under the cir
cumstances we feel that it will not
be out of place for the editor of the
News to say: That he never has.
in all the years of his man
hood, told a deliberate lie, the
moral effect of which would be to
work injury to any man. But he has
told some plain truths, and it's the
truth that hurts some people most.
Not only this, but no man other than
Hennery A. B. c. Mckenzie ever di-
rectly or indirectly accused US of
lying, or made the statement that
our reputation for veracity was other
than good. And
Neither did any man ever accuse
US Of being a damphool. Can Hen
merry say as much regarding the lat
ter classification?
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1907-08-02

Hon. James f. Calkins of Fernan-
dina, member of the legislature,
" be a candidate for railroad COM
missioner. Mr.. Calkins is a young
lawyer and man of unusual ability.
and the News believes would make a
most conscientious and active mem
Der of the commission. Mr.. Calkins
is afflicted somewhat with the Jen-
nings-Broward microbe, but this
would not interfere with his work as
a Railroad Commissioner.
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1907-08-02

That great temperance reformer,
H. H. McCreary, editor of the Gain
esviIle Sun, finds joy in the fact that
there isn't saloon all the way from
Jacksonville to Pensacola. He saws
Marion, Orange and Putnam counties
are the next strongholds of the liquor
demon the prohibs are preparing to
storm and he predicts victory and
says $50 mote it be-" If all the edi-
tors of the state would do their part
in downing the whisky evil, as does
Editor McCC1ary, the end would
soon be in sBht