Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1907-12-12

burning the pockets of damfools and
greenhorns. When | stand on a
street corner and sell a solid gold dia-
mond ring to a yap for three dollars,
| make just $3.50. And | know he's
going to give it to a girl in return for
all the benefits accruing from a S125
ring. His profits are 1922. Which of
us is the biggest fakir?'
And when you sell poor woman
a pinch of sand for so cents to keep
her lamp from exploding says Bas-
sett, what do you figure her gross
earnings to be- with sand at 40 cents
a TOM
Listen, says l. I instruct her to
keep her lamp clean and we'll filled
If she does that it can't bust. And
with the sand in it she knows it can't,
and she don't worry. It's a kind of
industrial Christian Science. She pays
so cents, and gets both Rockefeller
and Mrs. Eddy on the job. 1t aint
everybody that can let the gold-dust
twins do their work
alfred f. Ricks all but licks the
'uol Oil VI lDlil lDdSoClI . OIOtS.
"'My dear young friend says he 4
will never forget your generosity.
Heaven will reward you. But let me
implore you to turn from your ways
of violence and crime
Mousie, says Bill, the hole in the
wainscotng for yours. Your dogmas
and incucations sound to me like the
last words of bicycle pump. What
has your high moral, elevator-service
system Of pillage brought you to?
Penuriousness and want Even Bro
ther Peters, who insists upon contain
mating the art of robbery with
theories of commerce and trade, ad-
mitted he was on the lift. Both of
you live by the gilded rule. Brother
Peters, says Bill, you'd better choose
a slice of this embalmed currency.
You're welcome
Il told Bill Bassett once more to
put his money in his pocket. | never
had the respect for bur glary that some
people have. l always gave some
thing for the money took, even if it
was only some little trif1e for a SOU
venir to remind 'em not to get caught
again
And then Alfred E. Kicks grovels
at Bills feet again, and bids us adieu.
He says he will have team at
farmhouse, and drive to the station
below, and take the train for Denver.
1t salubrified the atmosphere when
that lamentable boll-worm took his de-
parture. He was disgrace to every
nonindustrial profession in the coun-
try. With all his big schemes and
fine offices he had wound up unable
even to get an honest meal except by
the kindness of a strange and maybe
INSCRIPTIONS burglar. I was glad to
see him go, though felt little sorry
for him, now that he was ruined for
ever. What could such a man do
without a big capital to work with?
Why, Alfred e. Kicks, as we left him,
was as helpless as turtle on its back
He couldn't have worked a scheme to
beat a little girl out of a penny slate
pencil.
When me and Bill Bassett was left
alone did a little straightforward turn
in my head with trade secret at the
end of it. Thinks l, I'll show this Mr..
Burglar Man the difference between
business and labor. He had hurt some
of my professional self-adulation by
casting his Persians upon commerce
and trade.
81 won't take any of your money as a
gift Mr.. Bassett,' says l to him.
but if you'll pay my expenses as a
travelling companion until we get out
of the danger zone of the immoral def |
icit you have caused in this towns
finances tonight, I'll be obliged
'Bill Bassett agreed to that, and
we hiked westward as soon as we |