Washington State journal and Adams County news. [volume] (Ritzville, Wash.) 1906-1907, 1907-02-06
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Howell-Did that fellow who want
ed you to invest have sure thing. AZ
he claimed7 Powell-Yes; was it.
Judge.
Friend--lf you love Miss Gotrox. old
man, why don't you marry her? Bache-
ior Docter-IIeavens! man. she is one
Of my best patients Judge.
Enie-But papa, how do you know
that It was 4 stork that brought 10
the new babyi Papa-Because. my
dear. just saw his bill!--Woman's
Home Companion.
1t would be easier to be content with
little II nobody had any more.-Life.
Visitor-What are you doing here
my poor man! Convict-Time, mum.
Baltimore American.
Ignorance Of the law" said tho
iudge, excuses no one" THAT being
the case,' rejoined the prisoner. ITS a
wonder the Jury didn't find my lawyer
guilty."-Chicago Daily News.
Our Imitation Is really considerably
better than the real thing" you don't
say! Then hadn't we better legln
cautioning the public to beware Of the
genuine?'-Louisville Courier-Journal.
She-Were you ever in street car
accident7 He-Yes. The car was COM
pletely wrecked, but the passengers
were packed 20 tight that only the out.
side layers we're lnjured.-Chicaso
NewA
LET me see," said she, "what IL Il
you call these men who run autOmo-
biles7" "Pardon me-" replied the gal.
liant man. am too much Of a gentle
man to tell you what l call them
Philadelphia Ledger.
"Slowboy Is about discouraged. He's
been waiting ten years for promotion
and hasn't got 1t yet" "Thats the
trouble. II he'd worked more and
waited less he'd have had it long ago."
Detroit Free Press.
what a wonderful vocabulary the
new minister has" said Mrs. Oldcastle.
YES" replied her hostess, Its almost
as big as Josiah's Uncle Williams was,
only his turned Into a goitre. at last"
Chicago Record Herald.
II wonder" said the man who was
given to thought at times. II wonder
what Is meant by the embarrassment
OF riches'7" 1.-THE poor relation, very
likely" replied the man who was one
philadelphia Public Ledger.
Dashaway-I want you to meet Miss
Hopper. Stunning girl. Just back
from Europe. Cleverton-Her first
visit3 "Yea" "well. old man, II It's
the same to you, I'll wait until she's
gotten through telling about 't"-LifA
"walt a minute till l get my clothes
OFT" came q shrill voice from the back
end Of the cable car. All the strap
holders turned their heads as one man.
1t was 4 small boy striving to drag
OF the hamper containing his mothers
washing.-Judss.
Mother (who has been asked to sug-
gest q game for rainy afternoon)-
Why don't you pretend you are met
And George can be daddy. Then you
might play at housekeeping. Daughter
But, mother. we've Quarreled once
already Punch.
That's all right SIS" answered
Tommy. II could see that you were
only playing telephone. He was ring
ing you up-oh, you needn't hide your
left hand behind you-but he had his
lips entirely too close to the receiver"
Chicago Tribune.
"Can't you nnd any work at nll7"
asked the kind lady Of Prayed Frank.
lin. "Plenty. mum. But everybody
wants references from me last en-
ployer." Cant you get them" mo
mum. He's been dead % yeara"-
Milwaukee Sentinel.
"You don't realize that there are
, other considerations In life than
! money" said the censorious friend
Eyes, I do" answered Senator Sor.
, ghum. "But whenever I want any.
thing done I can't get the other fellow
to realize it"-washington Star.
} "Oh, lady. I do love peach cake"
limited the hungry hobo a. be rested
his greasy sleeve on the gatepost
"Well," replied the housewife with the
rolling pin, suppose should make
you some peach cake. Would you do
any work. "Would I. mum? Why,
would do dc hardest work ever did
In my life" "And what would you
dor "why, I'd climb dat tree and
get enough peaches fer de cake."-Chi-
cago Daily Newa