davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-12-03
JUST AS GOOD.

Ezra Winrow-'I never see the
like Nv that storekeeper in Canniff's
mills. He amt ever got what yew
call fer, but always offers something
Just as good
Silas Stubble-sR Runs in his ma
ture. Ezry. Why. even when his
country called for him durin' the
war he sent substitute, b'gosh!'-
Puck.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-12-03

Playing cards that have been used
again and again would doubtless
show on meteorological examination
an appalling selection of micro-organ-
lsms, and on enumerating them there
surely would be found the organism
which works for evil side by side with
that which works no mischief. Lam
ret.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-12-03
INCONSISTENCY.

Judge Tin the law courts during
divorce case, to the husband =
well, what is it you wish?"
Husband divorce
Judge Ito the wife) -"And your.
Wife-"A divorce.
Judge-"But when you came in
you said that neither of you could
ever agree on any one point. Nos
Loisirs.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-12-03
NATURE FAKERS.

Kind Lady--sWhat occupation do
you two poor men follow?"
Gritty George Why. mum, we
are nature takers"
Kind Lady Nature fakers?"
Gritty George-"Y Yes, we play de
elephant in de show. Sandy is de
head and am de legs. Chicago
Daily News.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-12-03
B 9 e:anzg
A|AHs4lszz!Z;e'{(asl.
CLEAN THE DRAIN PIPE.

It is well to have hanging close
beside the refrigerator long slender
rod on which is fastened sponge
or rag. This can be run down the
drain pipe every day or SO and is OF
great assistance in keeping it clean
New York Press.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-12-03
AN ADVERTISEMENT.

Manager can't do thing with
Smith, the new clerk. I've had him
in three departments, and he sleeps
all day long.
Proprietor-"Pu Put him at the paja,
ma counter and fasten this card on
him: Our night clothes are of such
superior quality that even the as
sistant who sells them cannot keer
awake. "-Tit-Bits.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-12-03
CARES OF MANAGEMENT

"You must explain these big divi.
bends of yours to the public, said
the reformer
We'll" said Mr.. Dustin Stax, after
some reflection, sit is easier to ex.
plain big dividends to the public
than it is to explain small dividends
to the stockholders. " Washington
Star.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-12-03
UTILITY
SAWED HIS LIFE

Eyes" said the young man pen.
sively, "a dog once had saved my
life"
Tell me about it," said the
young woman, with eager interest.
Il sold him for ST. said the young
man, when was nearly starving.
Tit Bits.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-12-03

Little Girl (who has just kissed hel
father good-night) "Oh, father
your beard is scratchy"
Father-SDear me, miss, you are
particular. 1t can't be very bad
shaved it this morning"
Little Girl-''Well, then, father
lists very tall for it's agen-
Punch.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-12-03
Central Bank Advocated.

Senator Hansbrough. of North Da-
kota, announced in Washington that
he intends to introduce bill estab-
fishing Federal central bank OF is
sue.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-12-03
EIectricaI Mater Bag.

An electrical hot water bag has
been invented in which the water
may be maintained at any desired
temperature. This is accomplished
by the use of stopper combined
with shell extending into the inter-
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-12-03
PROVISION PRICES DOWN.
Sweeping Reductions Made by Chi
cago Wholesalers in Meat and Fowl.

Chicago. reductions in
the prices of meat and provisions are
promised Chicago consumers as re-
suit of similar decline in the prices
of live stock that has been going on
for the last forty days. Reductions
in the wholesale price of these COM
modities were made averaging about
ten per cent. for all kinds of meats
and poultry.
This reduction and the new sched-
ule of prices undoubtedly will be put
into effect at once.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-12-03
DON'T SLAM THE STOVE DOOR

DON'T SLAM THE STOVE DOOR.
Don't cook by guesswork Weigh
oil your ingredients and test your
oven before you try to1bake.
Don't slam the oven door. 1t will
spoil the cake and it won't improve
the pudding.
Don't be wastefui. Bread crusts
may be Drowned and ground Bits
of meat may help to improve the
soup pot.
Don't be in a hurry. If you skimp
in the matter of time you are certain
to leave some important thing I'M
done.
Don't try to improve upon recipe
until you have mastered it's every
detail. If you deviate from it TO
save trouble" you will probably
make trouble" for yourseIf.-De-
lineator.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-12-03
Dinner to Bryan.

At the dinner given him in WASH
ington, D. c.. by the Omitted Democ,-
racy of the District OF Columbia w.
J. Bryan compared the policies of the
President with those which he be-
lieves the Government should adopt.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-12-03
Z EGGS FOR WINTER USE.

The best method of keeping eggs
Is to dip each egg in melted paraffin.
When it hardens on the surface ex-
anime carefully and pour little ex-
ira paraffin on the spots imperfect1y
covered. Pack two or three layers
deep, small end down, in wooden
box; put in cool, dry place, and
they will keep d long time. Another
excellent way is to press them small
end down in bed of common salt.
When one layer is placed fill all
around carefully with the salt and
place second layer of eggs and
continue until the box is full. Press
the salt lightly but firmly to exclude
the air, and they will keep for
months.-New York World
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-12-03

At a cost OF 100000 the Japan
ese are about to build bridge 3239
feet long across the Yalu River be-
tween Autung and New Will,
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-12-03
Novelty in Rolling Pins.

A Washington man has devised a
scheme whereby the rolling pin can
be kept cool and the dough thus pre-
vented from sticking. He employs
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-12-03

Sailors Honor Helen Gould.
The enlisted men Of the Atlantic
feet presented to Miss Helen NJ
Gould loving cup in recognition of
her benefaetions.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-12-03
WHEN THE FIRE BELL RINGS.
Look at This and You VIII Be Able
to Locate the Blaze.

HOW TO SEND IN AN ALARM
70 send in an alarm, open box and pull down
the lever on the inside. When an alarm 10
sent in, the FIRE bell will sound the number Of
the box, and repeat the. alarm four times.
There are several keys to each box, which are
held by persons living nearby-a card attached
TO each box gives the names of such holders.
Policemen also have keys.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-12-03
Japanese Raw silk Trust Broken.

The Japanese raw silk trust at Yo-
kohama Aas been broken after a
months boycott by American Gsany-
factueers,
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-12-03
What Would the Letter Be?

A Mr.. Smith, Of Worcester, slut
tered SO that it was painful to hear
him try to speak. One day his law
yer in Boston wrote, asking him to
send letter stating certain facts
about a case soon to be tried. The
next noon he appeared at the office
and said, "t- th-th-thought I'd c-c-c-
come down m-m-m-myself, as l c-c-
c-can talk b-b-b-better'n I ocean
write. Boston Herald.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-12-03
now. TO LoCATEaAN ALARAE.

II the alarm is sounded from box rs, tire'1rs
bell will strike two, then pause and strike five,
which will indicate that the freisin the vicin-
ity of No. %, box. Every alarm is repeated
four timea.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-12-03

I'll the blade is at right angles. The
toose dirt which will have fallen onto
the blade Of the shovel is then
brought to the surface. The handle
Is made in five foot sections, the grips
being screwed on. To dig to depth
of fifteen feet an opening large
enough to admit the blade is all that
Is required -Ph Philadelphia Record.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-12-03

tor of the bag, the shell supplied with
b resistance through which the cur
rent il passed and transformed into
beat. A plug and socket connection
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-12-03

Germany and England are maxi
ing great progress in utilizing surplus
gases from coke ovens, etc.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1907-12-03

A Philadelphia minister declares
that kissing is a barbaric blunder.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-04-28
B A SEBALL STORIES
Guyina the Players.

"Ali ballplayers come in sometimes
for little guying, but that is what
makes the game" says Cobb, the
southern player on the Detroits. IF
the fans did not do this it would show
they had lost interest and baseball
would soon die. The fact that L am a
southern man has never made any diff
ference in the way have been treated
by the public In the north. The fans
all over the American league have al
ways been kind to me.
"Of course, there are some cities
where the players get better treatment
than in others.
Take Philadelphia, for instance. Old
Phillie is sometimes rough with visit
ing clubs, and we have been treated to
a little warm reception there once or
twice
Chicago is not as kind TO visiting
players as some of the other cities.
They are so loyal to their city and their
clubs that sometimes few go too far
with the guying-
I'm New York the people are fair and
clever. and so is Cleveland, Pittsburg
and Boston St Louis is somewhat
like Chicago.
Il am sure that the fact that I am
from the south has never Influenced
the fans in the slightest. II it has, it
has been in my favor"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-04-28
What Upsets an Umpire.

Umpire Billy Evans broke into major
league ball for the first time last sea-
son, and for man of his years got
away in good shape.
1.-THE most annoying experience I had
during my first year" he said in a fan
ming be-, "was in Chicago. You know
stand there behind a netting. One day
when things were breaking unusually
good for me a man with half a jag Sc
cured one of these front position seats.
I was working behind the bat. Every
time I called ball or strike, no mat
ter which side it was against, the drunk
said just loud enough for me to hear:
Your a liarl'
HE started this in the first inning
and kept it up till the game was over.
Every time / said 'strike. he said:
You're a liarI' This got on my nerves,
and 1 never spent such an annoying
afternoon in my life.
"A big. fat policeman stood near the
drunk. and every time he passed his
liar remark the copper smiled. The in
eident bothered me so that after a few
innings 1 commenced to think maybe
was calling them wrong, but the play
ers did not protest and finally finished
the game all right.
mo, it isn't SO bad to have them yell
in a loud voice that you are the worst
ever. or 20 have them throw a few pop
bottles. because you can see them COM
ing, but when somebody sets out to an
nOy you from the start to the finish he
certainly can get an umpire going"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-04-28
SPORT, NOW AND THEN.

Chicago Record-Herald)
B. c. 50-The Gladiator's Salute:
Hail, Caesar, imperator,
To thee we humbly knee1.
Ere step we on yon bloody sands,
To test our fate with steel:
For one shall be the winners crown.
For one the shades Of DEATH
For one the praise of victory,
For one dying breath.
A. D. 19o7.-The Pugilist Whispers:
See here. you dub. don't hit SO hard:
Dis amt no level scrapi
When you pokes out your right like dat
You hurts me bloomin' map.
But geei De house Is big tonight
We sure will pad our mitts.
Git upi git upi You blasted fool
Dis amt de round you quitsi
3. G. sS.-The Charfoteer Exclaims;
Onward, fly onward, noble sreeds
The goal lies just before;
Hoofbeats and hot breath press behind.
Beside the people roar,
Though breaks each heart TO win The
prize.
Let nothing stay thy speed:
Though gasping lungs may burst at
last
Let victory be thy need,
A. D. feM.-The Jockey Laments:
o. hully gee, What ails dis nae?
His mout's as hard as rocki
If can't pull him purity soon
The ring'u get shock
So close in. pals, and shut me off
1t soon'n be too late.
Don't let me take the lead like dat
] Just can't pull dis skate.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-04-28
BURhS-O'BRIEN
TRAINING BEGINS
Second Meeting of This Pair
Promises to Be Inter-
eSting Contest.
Especial to The Rerald.)

Los Angeles. April 27.-There is no
fquestion about the interest the fans are
taking in the coming heavyweight cham
kpionship contest between Tommy Burns
and Philadelphia Jack O'Brien. The
memory of their last meeting is still fresh
Ism the minds of local sportsmen and east
fern visitors who VIII be in this city for
fthe great fiesta celebsation are naturally
lanxious TO see these two great boxers
come together again. This is clearly
proved by the fact that reservations are
already being asked for by telegraph and
mail.
Jack O'Brien has taken training quar-
tiers at Arcadia. the center OF the IA
mous Lucky Baldwin rancho. This spot
has been favorite with many prominent
Fighters Battling Nelson named it an
sdeal place for training. the Sullivan
twins will train nowhere else when they
are preparing for a battle in this city,
and it was from there that they came
TO Los Angeles to their greatest victories
Jack TO smother the British champion,
Jack Palmer, and Mike 10 defeat the well
terweight wonder, Honey Melody. Be
sides these men a number of lesser lights
have trained at Arcadia and the place
now has a name for being regular box
er's mascot.
Tommy Burns has chosen Long Beach
as his training home It was here that
he trained for his last meeting with
OBrien. and he is not only fond of the
place himself. but he is a general IA
Vorite with the people of the seaside city.
Roomy ana comfortable. quarters have
been arranged for him and his afternoon
work is watched by a crowd of enthu-
siasts
At present Jack O'Brien is using Jim
Ward for a training partner Ward is a
man of magnificent physique and a clev-
er boxer at that. He holds the amateur
heavyweight championship of the coast
and is clever enough to make an excellent
foil for the clever Philadelphia.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-04-28
"Tacksv PARROTS superstitions.

Billy Phyle. who played second base
for the Bluelegs last season until he
was traded to st. Louis, has the follow
| ing story TO tell:
Talk about superstitious ball play
ers, but 'Tacks' Parrot. an old Southern
league player, is the limit says Phyle
He is a crank on batting and can tel
you his batting average. any time in
the season, or for that matter, any time
in the game He carries a little piece
of chalk in his shirt pocket and after
each time at bat he figures out his
average on the bench.
81 roosned with Parrot in Frisco part
of one season. 1 had taken slump in
my batting, and PARROTS batting eye
had also gone on vacation. He came
TO me one morning, and, with much
mystery in his voice, impaired the in
formation that / was a Jonah That
night after supper, when went up to
my room, / found my trunk and all my
clothes out in the hall. The landlady
had to give me a new room Parrott
positively refused to room with me any
more, because, he said, it affected his
batting eye.
IF a man on a team got a new bat
and was hitting we'll with it. the next
day 'Taeks' would show up with the
same kind of a bat. He had a special
Irudk Inaue u carry his pdts, anu lie
always had it full. have seen him go
so far as to use the same brand of
tooth powder that another player used
who was hitting well.
"Out in Frisco 'Tacks' was hitting
well one day. The first two times up he
got two safe ones. About the time he
went to the bat the third time the Of
fetal scorer came down and sat on the
bench with the players. Tacks struck
out, When he saw the scorer there he
chased him off the field, declaring him
responsible for his striking out. He was
the most superstitious man 1 ever saw
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-04-28
Game Played With Two Balls.

1t is seldom that a game in either of
the big leagues IS played through with
only two balls, but that's just what
happened in a game between ST. Louis
and the Athletics at St. Louis last
summer. The first ball put in play by
Umpire Connolly lasted seven innings,
and the game might have been finished
with that ball had it not been for a
funny accident. In the seventh inning
a foul tip hit the wire netting that pro-
tects the patrons OF the grand stand
and stuck there.
All efforts to disIodge it were in vain,
and Connolly was forced to put another
ball in play, which lasted the remain
ing two innings of the game. This is a
rather remarkable thing, when it is
considered that the st. Louis grand
stand is only a snort distance back of
the home plate when compared to many
of the other grounds. Tommy Connol-
ly says ne believes that two balls for a
big league game is pretty near re-
cord How happy the magnates would
be if all games could be run through SO
cheaDiy.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-04-28
NOW ITS DOUBLE SQUEEZE
But for an Accident New York Amer
leans Would Have Pulled
It Off.

New York, April 26.-To add more in
terest to the uncertainty of the squeeze
plays" birthplace, Kid Elberfeld and
Hal Chase have invented the double
squeeze"
They tried the new play in last Satur-
days game and but for the fact that FL
berfeld stumbled and fell on the base
line both men would have scored on the
out When the play was introduced Ell
berfeld was on second and Chase was
pacing up and down at third Williams,
who was at bat, got signal FOR the
squeeze play" and he very accurately
hunted toward third.
Elberfeld had the signal to start from
second with the pitchers swing. BY the
time the ball was pitched Chase was
within ter feet of the plate and Fiber
field had shot past third base like a deer.
of course Chase scored. Elberfeld STUN
bled when he was half way and fell. or
he would certainly have crossed the plate.
While Collins threw out Williams. Even
at that he got 10 his feet quickly enough
to get back TO third and be safe. 1t was
a daring attempt, and it is a play which
requires daring men to execute The
double squeeze" but for the accident to
Elberfeld, would have done practically
the same work as single-scored two
runs
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-04-28
At Oakland.

San Francisco. April N.-An attractive
card drew a large crowd to Oakland to-
day and the sport was OF an interesting
character. Some clever sprinters met in
the fourth and 1t proved to be good race.
Lisaro won from F. Nugent and Entire
Nous. The start hurt the chances of
Sanafara. the favorite. College Widow
took the Lorna DoOne handicap cleverly.
c. c. McCafferty bid Royal Rogue up
from 81, 500 TO $500 and secured him
Thirty-three books cut in. Results:
First race, Lorna Doone handicap. five
5urlongs-College Widow, 106 Gross. to ;.
won; CrestOn, ll6, r. Kelly. "A to 5. sec
ond: Husky. 104. c. Miller. 16 TO l. third
Time-1:o1 Is. Adena. Stanley Fay and
Follie L finished as named.
Second race. mile and five furlOngs,
selling-Byronerdale 107. A. Brown. is to
g. won; Benvolio. leg, Cross % to 5. sec
ond: Adonis 103. ". Kelly. 8 70 ], third
Time-2.4S 10 Elevation. FOncaSta Boy.
Davis Lady Fashion, Nine Spot and
Freesias finished as named.
Third race. six furlongs. seliing-ROyal
Rogue. los keogh. to 2, won: Monte Lu-
ellie. los Buxton y to !. second: Nothing,
Je0 ". Kelly, 10 TO !. third. Time IA Is.
Pride Menden and Trajan finished as
named. Jolly Witch left.
Fourth race. five and half furlongs-
J.isaro. III. A. Kelly. TO l. won; F: Nu-
gent 81. Sandy. 5 to l. second: Entire Nous.
JOE. ". Kelly, IL to 8 third. Time-1:0S Is.
Sanfara. Fireball. Van Ness and Queen
Cup finished as named
Fifth race. six and a half furlongs-
Gossiper. 105. Sandy. TO !, won; Ell Otros
510. Gross. 5 to ,. second: Nappa. 100 W
Kelly s to /, third Iime-f:20 2-5. Pal
Curriculum. Quindera. Legal Form and
Dora also ran
dy. to I. won; Bedford. los. Borel. to 5
second. Kolkomo. 81. r. Davis. to J. third
Time 80 SIS. TouDee, Kinders, James,
town aud Marshal Ney finished as named.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-04-28

New York IS crazy over new drop"
ball Iron Man Joe McGinnity is pitch
ing this year. Joe says it's something en-
tirely new. something that no other pitch
er has. The Giant twirler is talking OF
getting it copyrighted. etc. This very
same ball, explained in the above illus
tration, is what Eddie WilIett, the new
Detroit pitcher. is using. 1t was this ball
he pitched in Little Rock this spring that
made Billy Hart. fer twenty years
pitcher. say that IL was the most re-
markable twirling he had ever watched.
The ball differs little from the old drop
ball, except that 1t Is started underhand.
It is thrown with the same movement as
the raise ball, only 1t takes an exactly
opposite course.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-04-28
TURF RESULTS.

New York. April 27.-Jamaica results:
First race. six. furlongs-Tony Bonero
won, Cloisteress second, Shenandoah
third. Time-l:14 To-
Second race, mile and seventy yards
Athlete won, Orbicular second, Dishabille
third. Time-I.45 AS.
Third race. the Elmburst stakes, five
furlonss-Laura Clay won, Blue Heron
Sc ccnd, Rustic third. Time-1:01 %
Fourth race, the Paumonok handicap.
six furlongs-Red River won. Superman
second, La Londe third. Time-1:13 Is
Fifth race, mile and a sixteenth-Mara-
kthon won, Gilpin second, Gold Circle
third. Time-1:50.
Sixth race. five fuTlongs-Sepoy won,
WOODLAND second, McGTegOr third. Time
sol 3-5
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-04-28
SEATTLE BOOM FOR 1903
A. L. Jenkins Favors Coast City That
Year for W. B. G. Tour
nament.

Spokane, April 27.-Owney ]. Patton,
manager of the Occur d'Alene bowling
alleys, has received letter from A L.
Jenkins, secretary Of the Western
Bowling congress, in which the latter
launches a boom for holding the an
nual tournament of the congress in
1909 at Seattle The tournament for
1907 was held last month in Denver,
and the attendance was double that of
the preceding year.
Mr.. Jenkins says that the western
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-04-28

wsukee Athletic club and will not meet
Maurice Sayers on May 8, the date Of
fered.
Last Friday Donahue received. a mes
sage from Tom Andrews, the Milwau-
kee sporting editor. offe ring him a bout
there. The Roxbury boxer wired his
terms to Andrews, who came back with
an offer that Donahue turned down.
The lad that came out here with Mike
Twin Sullivan may take on Sayers for
some later date.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-04-28
At Lexington.

Lexington, Ky. April 27.-The largest
attendance in the history OF the Ken
lucky Racing association was present to-
cay at the opening. Results:
First race. five and a half furlongs-
Gold Proof won. Barnesdale second Fan
ftastic third. Time-1.07 So.
Second race, four furlongs-Skyo won.
Black Mary second, Merry Blue third.
Times As
Third race, mile-King Leopold won,
.E.velando second, Mortiboy third. Time
u AZ 4-5
Fourth race, selling, six furlongs-Be-
ia trice X won Camille second. RaIlbem
Third. Time-1.15
Fifth race, four furlongs-John Msrrs
Won. Great Pirate second, Colonel Bob
third. Times IA
Sixth race, miie-Posing won. Princess
lorna second, Request third Time
81 ~ %