Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1907-04-11

fully reported breach of promise case
action. Tom. whose quarrel, with his
fiancee still burned. shifted his con-
tempt of the unhappy defendant whose
stilted but earnest attempts to express
his passion in verse had been basely
read out in court by a sardonic coun-
sci.
Love" he concluded, IAN such-like
rot ought to be put stop to. 1t
makes me Ill to talk about it"
Then why talk Of it," said Mr..
Nuts, the druggist. Mr.. Nuts pres
ence was tolerated on the implied I'M
Outstanding that he RETAINED from
insiGiously introducing any of his
Mysterious compounds.
| Why talk of it," he said again.
Nothing new has been discovered
Shout love since the first generation
liter Adam. If chap thinks e's in
owe, an says he's unhappy, e amt in
owe at all. Most likely it's indiges.
on. Cause when a chaps really in
1--we, he simply can't help being
,Ippy"
Listen to Cupid" said Potty, grin
ting
But look here, Pinch sand Tom,
's'pose a chaps in love with sal,
IN she amt with him. What about
It them"
"Nothin' at all to do with It." ex-
blamed Pinch. Loves a thing by
itself, an If a chaps got 1t he's hap
pier'n he could be if he amt got it.
If the gals caught it as well, that's
| very nice, but even II she amt, the
| hap's better off than If he hadn't got
| It."
Its my belief" said Potty, memory
touching his eyes and voice, that it's
as much habit as anything else. When
a chaps got into the way of 1t like,
it amt easy to get out. It's like
smokin'. 1t don't matter very much
what you smoke so long as you're
smokin', an same way it don't matter
much to chap who he's in love with,
so long as he's in love-"
| We'll" said Pinch, come to think
of it, most things is habits. What's
| life but a sort O. habit? There's lots
O people always grumbling about the
worry an trouble o life, an sayin' it
amt worth Twin, but they don't seem
very keen on givln' it up. Can't get
out of the habit like. An I've noticed
that if one O. them kind O. people gets
a cold or a headache, he's the one to
| hop into bed an send for a doctor.
Another thing, too, What's a wife
| but a habit? First of all, she's sort
O. worshiped by man; then she be-
comes a friend, like; but you look at
| a man married three or four years,
an If his wife amt habit more'n
| she's anything else, well! If she goes
away for day or two, does he miss
| her? Course he does. So he misses
his pipe or his half-pint if he's sudden
| ly cut off 'em. Mark yer, too, lots of
people would rave like mad if It was
put to 'em, but if th'd speak the truth
which it's as we'll for them they don't,
they'd say l was quite right"
Ginger glanced at Potty.
I've often thought" said he, dark
ly, that place where a general
swap o. wives could be made now an
then would be very handy"
'What?" said Pinch.
His face glowed with fury and his
| eyes blazed disgust at Ginger's calm
and philosophic suggestion.
"What?" he repeated. and after
struggle for breath-'You!-"
Words failed him, and with stupen-
dous effort he subsidized into silence.
"a chap could make the swap di-
rectly he begins to find his wife a
| habit" continued Ginger.
Pinch gradually resumed an appear
ance of sanity as he realized he was
being chaffed.
"Ah, said he hopping his brow, Eyer
didn't exactly see what / meant l
was talkin' general, not pussonal."
| Herein is food for thought and self
analysis.
"Rummest thing about love-" said
! Bill Jones. "seein' as we're talkin'
about it's the idea chaps get into
their heads directly they catch 1t;
| the idea as nobody else ever knew
anything at all about it. Think they've
discovered America ev'ry time"
| w ulOhS III lOlhy thO ohiy
way to keep woman in her place is to
let her see yer don't think much of
her-even If yer do. Let her see yer
think she's an inferior, which she is,
an nine cases out O. ten she'll think
you're right, an treat you with proper
respect"
There was a pause. Pinch was
mentally distilling wisdom from the
enforced impressions of life's expert
ence.
You're wrong, Iom," said he, final
ly; quite wrong. Women, for some
extraordinary reason, always do try
to be what men thinks 'em, as you
say. but the better opinion men have
of 'em, they more they think o them
selves. so. yer see, we should always
think the best of EN-, so as to give EN-
a chance. Course. it's sometimes very
hard but it never does no harm to
try"
Tom, with the rashness of bache-
lor. ventured to affirm that it was i'm
possible for anybody in sane state
to hold an exalted opinion OF women,
postulating that the only attitude per-
MISSILE was sincere pity because
they were women.
Look here, young man." said Pinch
severely, II can see very well that
you're going to have horrible sur
prise one of these days, and I lay six
10 FOUR as you'll be the most hen
pecked chap in the neighborhood. And
don't mind telling you, confidential,
that it'll serve you right There's
only one thing love can't stand" he
| nddnd nlonr,nilu Hnnd that's hannack-