Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1907-09-03
SHOULD NOT
SACRIFICE
THEMSELVES
(Bertha Shawl

that make society pestiferous, I
doubt II there be any so mean as
that of forcing self-sacrlfice on a
woman under pretense that she likes
1t; and, II she ventures to contradict
the pretense, declaring her no true
woman. In India they carried this
piece of idealism to the length of
declaring that a wife could not bear
to survive her husband, but would be
prompted by her own faithful, low
Ing beautiful nature to offer up her
own life on the pyre that consumed
his dead body. The astonishing thing
is that women, sooner than to be
branded as unsexed wretches, allow
ed themselves to be stupefied with
drink, and, in that unwomanly con-
dition, burnt alive
No man prentends that his soul
finds its supreme satisfaction in self
sacrifice; such an affectation would
stamp him as coward and weakling
But men are not the less loved on
this account. No one ever feels
helpless by the side of this self
helper; whilst the self-sacrificer al
ways is a drag, a responsibility, re-
proach, an everlasting and unnatural
trouble with whom no really strong
soul can live. Only those who have
helped themselves know how TO help
others and to respect their right to
help themselves.
II is not surprising that our So
ciety, being directly dominated by
men, comes to pegard woman not as
an end in herself like man but solo
~ as means of ministerlng to him.
The ideal wife is one who does every
thing the ideal husband likes, and
nothing else. Now, to treat a person
as a means instead of an end is to
deny that persons right to live.
Woman, II she dares face the fact
that she is being so treated. either
must loath herself or els erebel.
The young wife finds that her hus-
band is neglectng her for his busl-
ness; that his interests, his activi-
ties, his whole life except one small
part lies away from home; and that
her business is to sit there and NOPE
until she is wanted. Fortunately
things do not remain forever at thiS
nnint Tha aIf-raonact aha hoe louf
as a wife she regains as mother.
in which capacity her use and i'm
portance in the community compare
fnvorably with those of most men
In business. She is wanted In the
house, wanted In the market, want
ed by the children; and now, instead
OF weeping because her husband ia
away In the city thinking of stocks
and shares instead of his ideal wom-
an, she would regard his presence
in the house all day as an intolerable
nuisance.
This prosaic soltlon Is satisfactory
only within certain limits. IL de-
pends altogether upon the accident
of the woman having some natural
vocation for domestic management
and the care of children, as well as
on the husband being fairly good
natured and llvable with. Hence
arises the idealist illusion that a vo-
cation for domestic management and
the care OF children is natural to
women and that women who lack
them are not women at all. III we
have come to think that the nursery
and the kitchen are the natural
sphere of a woman we have done so
exactly as English children come to
think that a cage is the natural
sphere of a parrot-because they
never have seen one anywhere else.
No doubt there are philistine par
rots who agree that II is better to
be In a cage than out, so long as
there is plenty OF hempseed and In
dian corn there. There even may be |
idealist parrots, hopersuade them
selves that the mission OF parrot |
is to minister to the happiness of a
private family by whistling and say
ing pretty polly. and that 1t is In the
sacrifc of its liberty to this altruis-
tic pursuit that a true parrot finds
the supreme satisfaction of its soul. |
/ will not go so far as TO affirm that
there are theological parrots, who |
are convinced that Imprisonment is
the law of the universe because II is
unpleasant. But / am confident that |
there are rationalistic parrots, who |
can demonstrate that 1t would be a
cruel kindness to let parrot out to |
fall a prey to cats. or at least to
forget its accomplishments and
coarsen its naturally delicate fibers