The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-08-10

sanlt upon the onion is 10 doubt fun.
justified BY its experiences with thu
fruit in It's native state, the Georgia
onions being second only to those 0
Texas for virulence and sheer brute
strength. Here in old Virginia, how
ever, the Tribune's indignant language
reads like the wnnton overflow of igt
norance and malice. The Virginit
onions are renowned for their polite
hess to both old and young. and are
so gentle refined and unobtrusive tina
even our almo st-engaged girls freely
and fearlessly indulge in them.
Made mad BY Georgia potlicllcr tho
pcachtree legislators are doing thel,
utmost to depopulate the State. Hav-
ing teetotally prohibited the sale OF
potables. they now propose to put c
prohibtory tax upon bachelorhood. II
Il man can neither sngle-harness MOI
licker-up down there, he might as
we'll move to Philadelphia and be done
with it.
Noting in The Times Dispatch that
Mr.. William Green. of Richmond had
just arrived in Paris, subscriber
writes to inquire whether William
is the original Paris Green. Detect
Ing in this an attempt to poison the
public against q respectable gentle
man. we absolutely decline to an
swer.
In no boastful spirit and merely
for purposes of record. we submit the
fact that VirEinia's 1907 August. Is
the best August ever had by State
whose Augusts have long been the
wonder and delight of the civilized
world. and also of Texes.
We understand that the enterprising
Houston Post is now petitioning a
Richmond manufacturer to turn out
some special asbestos Thermometers
for use in the Texas trade. where the
mercury Is likely to bounce to 179
degrees any time of night.
Plat and Depew are reported to be
opposed to Fairbanks" says the Bir-
mingham News. This is really the
worst news. from the front that Mr..
Knox has had in many a long day.
----------
According to the Washington Herald,
a Korean bride is forbidden to utter a
word for one week after her wedding.
However, as the population of Korea is
less than one-tenth that of the United
States. you'll have to hurry.
a North Carolina man recently muir
dcred his landlady. We sincerely re-
greet the deplorable occurrence, but, of
course, landadies should realize that
prune idea too TAR
a bard in the Atlanta Georgian
rhymes atlanta" and haunt her
Only an established poet like George
NJ. Cohan can afford to take long
chances like that.
A New York parson mentions three
as the total number Of heavens, and
Virginia young people who have fire.
quentiy been in the seventh are COM
PEELED to giggle in their sleeves.
Tt was Governor Odell who recently
had the operation performed on his
jaw, though the country had felt that
Chancellor Day stood most in need of
that attention.
Undisturbed by the murderous deeds
Of Armenians. Turks and infidels In
New York Mr.. Fairbanks addresses
himself tirelessly to the study Of his
own little race problem.
Gulls are said to be splendid weather
barometers. The reference, however
is not to those employed by the United
State Weather Bureau.
Most of the time of the Finnish Diet
~: is said. Is given to explaining to
tourists that it is not breakfast food
Hon. Richmond p Hobson remains
the most impressive man Of war that
the United States Navy hasn't got
Hourly do we expect advices inform
ing US that Walter Wellman has again
broken his dashboard
William Dean Howells says that he
discovered Henry James. William Is
not the only one,
AS far as that goes many a bungling
hair-dresser makes crime wave out
of the Marcellc.
------------.
OF course, If bathing-suit is a
crime It ought TO be tried by petit
Jury
Oyster Bay continues SO quiet you
could hear a hint drop.
G0fcr's Curious Drive.
An odd Incident occurred on Satur.
day during match at the Golf Club
de Paris. near Versailles. Two players
in the open amateur championship
Were at the fourteenth tee. when on,
sent his drive up n tree. The bal
rcmainet fixed between two branches
cadoie, climbing up, discovered IT.
presence there.
A great consultation arose ms tc
what should be done. The committed
was hastily summoned and stood be,
meath the spreading branches OF the
tree, much in tho fashion in which st