The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1907-03-28
all. Can such thing really be @

all. Can such a thing really be q
crime.
England doesn't like the way bel
lords have been acting, but she
DOESN'T seem inclined to discharge th,
whole he use at one time.
When that "Uncle Toms Cabin
troupe reaches Bi ownsville, Texas,
the equinootial storm will seem like q
gentle zephyr.
Gen. Booth is willing to receive
money for the Salvation Army with.
out regard to its color of previous
condition OF servitude.
The Russian Douma thinks the Gar
Is regular "mollycoddle."
Mr.. Hartman says he is willing to
act as President Rooevelt's advisor.
He might also accept a job as the In
terstate. Commerce Commission.
Vice President Fairbanks is work
ing mighty hard to cut the "vice"
off of his title.
The Chicago subtreasury employees
have been ordered to refrain from dis
cussing that $3.50, 90 robbery, but in a
town where 80 little happens, 1t is
likely to be sweet mOrsel for the
gossips foi at least another week.
A DeMoines man carried OH con
veIsaton with the surgeons while they
amputated one of his legs. He may
have something more to say while
they pull the other one.
"Peace to thee," we're the last
words OF Dowie to Zion City and the
various factions fell to wrangling more
than ever.
When Speaker Cannon gets to the
Canal Zone he will no doubt throw
parliamentary language to the winds
andscall a spade spade.
An Idaho man with eight daught.
ers, offers to give 81 200 apiece for
eight sons-in-law but stipulates that
they must be church members who do
not smoke, drink, chew, swear or
gamble. We fear his daughters are
doomed to die old maids.
j. Pierpont Morgan called on the
president the other day but 1t Ia not
believed that he urged him to accept
third term.
"After many days of arid desicca.
tion," says Missouri editor, "the
vaporing captains marshalled their
laundering hosts and poured out on
the incinerated vegetation a few
inhces of aqua pluvislis. In other
words, they had shower In that 10.
cality.
There will be great disappointment
in administration circles II Uncle Joe
Cannon returns from Panama with
out the comforting assurance that the
canal is some kind of a red hot sue
cess.
The Argus OF Abysssinia has sent a
gift to President Roosevelt. Has he
already been similarly favored by the
Jam of Navanagar, the Ahkoond Of
Swat and the Gaekwar Of Baroda
That man who whipped an Indiana
editor and was fined one cent might
have taken fall out OF all the news.
paper men In town, IL he had known
that they are regarded as such q
cheap lot.
What is most tn be feared from that
little scrap between Nicaragua and
Honduras Is the liK lihood that the
winner will want to pose as a world
power.
We should think that when MIR.
Shaw gets into Wall street as tiust
president, he could keep 1t from hav
ing those periodical gsmini fits.
1t was deueedly awkward for MFR.
Bryce to say in the American Com
menwealth" that We never elect great
men to the presidency.
Italy has sequested some art treas
ures which j. Pierpcnt Morgan neg
lected to buy. Maybe 1t heard that
Mr.. Morgan was thinking Of calling
again.
Consuelo is going to live In New
York fla of ten rooms. According to
the popular notion, that wouldn't
hold the Easter bonnets OF q teal
duche ss.
BY the time Mr.. Rogers has done a
few more things to Wall street, per
haps others beside MIR. Roosevelt and
the Common People will think 1t high
time to remove few more tentaciss
from the Standard Oil octupus.
1t appears that Mr.. Corey Is In hot
water again, and that he has been
turned down by his actress Hsncee
and the steel trust. Another example
of the truism, that when q man hits
the down grade he finds 1t creased.