The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1907-07-26
The ANALYTICAL
STRANGER
BY S. &. KISER.


herce?' said a stout man who had
dropped into seat in an elevated
car and begun TO sop up with very
moist handkerchief the large drops
of water that were hanging upon the
slippery slope of his brow.
What humidity" replied the raw
boned stole to whom the fat ones
question had been addressed.
This humidity-the humidity in
the atmosphere"
Il haven't seen any humidity in the
atmosphere"
"Of course you haven't. You can't
see it. You feel it,"
You do, Ell? How does it feel?H
why, it makes you feel all hot and
sticky, you know"
Il don't know. You say it does but
you may be wrong Is humidity the
only thing that makes you feel hot
and sticky?"
1T may not be the only thing,
but
Then how do you know it's hui
Nudity? You say you can't see it,
and admit that you can't be sure
even when you feel it. What is hui
Nudity, anyhow"
Humidity? Why, its-it's a sort
of dampness that gets in the atmos-
phere."
How does it get in?"
II amt ever read up on the sub
ject, but | s'pose it gets in by evapor-
alton somehow"
oh Where did you hear about
humidity first? When did you make
the wonderful discovery that there
was such thing as humidity?"
Il don't just re-remember now.
think | read about it first in some
newspaper"
"Of course you did. You're like
nine out of every ten of the American
people. You read a few words in some
newspaper about some great discov-
cry or some important scientific fact
and you at once begin to talk as if
you knew all about it. Where does
the humidity come from, what are the
conditions that produce it, who dis
covered that there was such a thing,
why does it have the effect on you
that you complain of? Can you an
swer any of these questions?"
"N-no, | don't-as | told you
moment ago, I've never read up on the
subject"
"Yet you flop down here and begin
TO talk as if you knew all about it.
You wished to give me to understand
that you were a man of deep learn
ing. You make a commonplace re-
mark about the humidity and expect
people to think you are deep in the
science of meteorology. You"
II assure you, | had no such
idea. | merely"
You merely spoke for the sake of
speaking, then. You thought any
kind of a superficial remark addressed
to me would be sufficient to make me
regard you as my social equal You
hurl at me commonplace statement
about humidity and expect me TO en-
gage with you in jawing match con-
corning the weather You"
Il beg-beg your pardon, sir, | mere
ly desired TOTO show that | had
friendly feeling for you and-and-"
Did l look as if | needed sympa-
thy? Was there anything in my APP
pearance which indicated that | was
longing for anybody to show friend
ly interest in me? | didn't indicate
by look or act or word that | expected
you TO put me at my ease By address
ing to me a remark that I've heard
a thousand times, did II"
"B-but l merely intended TOTO
be civil"
DO you regard 1t as sign of I'M
civility for man to enter car and
sit down decently without disturbing
other people?"
Il don't think you quite understand
that is, /"
Don't understand what, sir? The
humidity? What reason have you for
thinking | don't understand? You
have confessed that you don't under
stand. How then can you be capable
of judging whether other people I'M
derstand or not? Did you expect me
to agree or disagree with you when
you made that luminous and thrilling
remark concerning the humidity"
Il DIDN'T know what l expected.
I-I-that is-say, confound you, I've
put up with all the jabs I've got room
for. If you don't like what / said
about the humidity, forget it, and if
I'm settin' too near you, get up to
the other end of the car. This
weather's facilitating, but | amt so
badly debilitated that I'm goin' to let
people get gay with me. You've shot
off"
adams street," called the guard.
and the stole went out.
I'D of licked that fellow in another
minute" said the stout man, as he
removed another run of sap from his
forehead. Darn these people who
are so blamed analytical. BY George,
wish | could of thought of that word
before he got out"
A Bright Idea.