Gilpin observer., 1907-08-08
TRUE LOVES ROUTE
IS 1T ALWAYS THROUGH THE
HEARTH
sometimes "Py the stummIek," 40
eordIns to Philosopher Who Backs
Up His Assertion with Con-
elusive Individual Proof.

Max, the Washington Heights sa-
loon keeper. sat in his cheerful back
room the other night and defied the
weather. Being Sunday the chain
was on the door. and the presence of
two policemen in uniform, who had
dropped in for a little something
warm to Offset the effect of the un-
charitable elements, contributed to
the general atmosphere Of security
and comfort. Half a dozen Of Max's
most neighborly patrons added to the
homelike tone.
Max himself smacked his lips and
sighed large and comprehensive
sigh of satisfaction as he arranged
the trayful of delicacies which had
just been brought down from his cozy
fiat and constituted his Sunday even
ing meal. He had let the bartender
go for the day and was on duty him
self; hence he could not join his fam
lily at supper. He carefully preened
his long blonde mustache, hid the
brilliance of the big diamond that
glowed like a headlight on his spot
less shirt front, and then when ap-
smacked his lips yet again and paused
to remark:
"Lofe comes py the stummick. Yes.
mine friends. lofe iss not by der head
or py der heart but py der stummick.
1 prove it IA years ago. und mine wife
upstairs, she would tell you der same.
Fourteen years ago l wass bar
tender, und for six monts keep com
pany py a girl what wass der sister of
mine wife upstairs. I get Thursdays
OF. und take supper init mine girl
und her mudder. Dis vun, mine wife,
wass a cook init private fantAy, und
SO for six monts 1 nefer see her on
Thursdays. But We hat goot suppers;
mine girl, she cook 'em.
But vun Thursday l find mine girl
iss not home. Her sister, mise wife,
is home, und she cooks der supper.
Ach, Gott; What supper! She hass
all mine favorites-Hungarian goulash,
home mate peach pie and French cof-
fee init cream. Ach, such a cook!
Such a supper! Py and py l say:
Where iss your sister,
"'She's gone NIT a girl py play,
she says.
81 hope she stage there / says.
We'll, mine friends, dot night
propose to my girls sister. der cook.
Lofe comes py der stummick. She
says: o. What will mine sister say?'
You tell her I say for her to go py der
DEVIL says !. In one week we wass
| married, und dot is mine goot wife
| uptsairs dere IA years.
Now, I always have goot food. und
am der boss. When l speak efery-
boty in der house shuts up. l say
| lofe comes py der stummick."
Good for you, Max" chorused the
listeners.
But one ting l will not do" con-
tinued the saloon keeper between
bites. Il will not Wheel der baby car
riage. l will walk alongside. mine
hants behint mine back, und smoke
| my cigar. / will not hantle der milk
pottle. What does mems know about
such t'ings? Noddings. l am a prac-
| der.
Plenty vifes send der husbands
! oudt on Sunday NIT der babies und
| der milk pottles. Der babies cry und
| der mems stuff 'em nit milk. In der
| night they get sick. On Monday
comes de doctor. All der week it
takes to get der babies well again.
will not push der baby carriage"
And the audience, in tones of con-
viction chOrused:
You're all right, Max, ol' feller; We
| wouldn't, either. Post.