The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1907-05-24
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AT THE BOARDING
HOUSE TABLE.

We'll" said Neverthink. the clerk,
at the boarding house breakfast table
as he spread a biscuit with his fork,
Z see this man, ex-senator Burton,
his confessed out in san Francisco
That was quite a graft miXup out
there. guess
Miss Chunky, the fat school teach
er. hurriedly put her coffee cup down
and coughedt Then she laughed
Now, what do you think Of that2'
she said Ex-senator Burton out In
Frisco Oh. BIr. Neverthink, you'll be
the death OF me yet You'll make me
laugh myself to death You ought TO
read the newspapers
What's the joker asked the clerk,
folding a pancake preparatory to put
ting IL in his mouth
Why. ex-senator Burton isn't mix
ed up in that San Francisco affair
Hes from Kansas City, No He never
was in Frisco, so far as ever heard. ,"
Pardon me- Miss Chunky came
from Wheat, the grain man, but
aren't you wrong about BurtOn's be
ing from Kansas City, I think"
There you go again., Mr.. Wheat
OF course, anything say IN your
presence is wrong In TACT when
you're near I'm regular knownOth-
ing" and the tat SChOl teacher cast
a look OF scOrn at the grain man. The
latter went down behind his newspa-
per and there was silence for mo-
ment.
well. didn't somebody confess to
grating out there in Frisco" asked
Neverthink-
ct was this man Ruef Schmidt"
Didn't they Try to blame the big
fire on him, Miss Chunky" asked
Miss Primm, the little old maid
ooh, no. I think not" was the re-
ply The earthquake caused that,
beyond a doubt"
II thought" said Neverthink, stir
ring his coffee round and round, that
the Japs got mixed up in that trouble
and that President Roosevelt wasn't
going to let them 90 to school"
silly bOy-' came from Miss
Chunky. AT the time OF the earth
quake and fire there were no JaDs in
Did they fire them all out?' asked
the grain man from behind his pa
At first the fat school teacher
thought the question was meant seri-
ousIy- Il think not" she said. Then
the quiet laughter Of the grain man
made her realize that he had sprung
a joke and that she had bitten"
But, by the way, MI Wheat" she
any Of your coarse witicisms at my
expense You ought to be playing
endman in the minstrel show OF
George Conan You're funnier, I
think, than even George Primrose
DOckStader. But your work is coarse"
The grain man did not reply. The
railroad man next 70 him smiled
family
Il thought" said Neverthink. chat
il was just the other way I under
stood the Jap school children wanted
to labor and the president said, No,
sir; you'll go to school, Then when
he did il this Queen Alexandra, dow
ager empress OF China and Japan, got
sore"
Goodness me. Mr.. Neverthink,
said the fat school teacher. why on
earth don't you put in a few minutes
a day and read the newspapers You
talk idOticalIy- The empress Of China
has nothing TO do with Japan, further
than to keep Siam out Of her hands.
And Queen Alexandra is the wife OF
England's kaiser, not OF China's
mikadO.''
That 500" said Neverthink, limo
Gently. Il thought it was the other
The grain man smiled at the rail-
road man and the latter smiled back
But they both kept disCreetly quiet.
Everybody was busy eating for a cOu-
pie Of minutes and then Neyerthink
said:
4 see Harry Thaw has got his luna
tic commission. Looks like that fell
low can get anything he wants, Ell -
He didn't want it, responded Miss
CHUNKY quickly he says ne q EdlLeE
go to the electric gallOws than 10 an
insane asylum"
They call them nut factories. don't
they, Miss Chunky" asked Wheat
without a smile.
Not at ALL" replied the fat school
teacher haughtily. q" Nut factory is
slang for iron foundry Iron nuts are
made for bolts at such places"
rs there such a. place as a cocoa
nut factory" asked Wheat.
Funny again, Ell % came from Miss
Chunky. 1T seems to me that after
each meal here I have to sit down and
take a rest Mr.. Wheat'S alleged
Jokes make me so tired"
Again Wheat went out Of sight be
hind his paper