davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

eeeded 20 get himself in contempt OF court
by means Of the phone, the mails, &c,
some four or FIVE dozen times per day.
until, at last. Miss Horman-well. woman
like, she married him 10 get rid OF him!
Coed boy. Payton We will wager any
thing within reason that he makes a good
husband, does not stay out at night,
never tells fshy stories about imaginary
lodge meetings and keeps the wolf
abundantly at bay. We glory in the
spunk of a youth who sets his heart upon
a girl and then goes after her with deter
mination in his bosom and the rapture Of
a high resolve in his soul. What are
courts with their injunctions, their
whereases and aforesaids, in this emer-
gency? What is the girls oft-repeated
mo" itself? Love has ever laughed at
iocksmiths-and rightly. too-and love viii
ind a way. Our congratulations to Mr..
and Mrs. Payton. We believe they will
make their way adown lifes stream ac-
companied by happiness and piloted by
JOY.
Blessed be the man who never knows
when he is down and out-for often he
isn't anything of the kind.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

Put not your trust In the hands
OF a receiver.
A woman is often not 80 fl-bred
as she's painted.
1t Is not how long. but how late
at night. We live.
One mans fsnoes is often another
mans love affair,
Satan finds a peach bloom cheek
for idle lips 10 kiss.
Never put on tomorrow the col
lar you wore to-day.
In ths Mathematics of divorce one
from one leaves three.
Bank examiners come in where
burglars fear to tread.
The fool who hangs on to his
money will have spendthrift sons.
The naked truth is not half so
shameful as a lie dressed decoilete
Most men get what they want,
because some woman does not want
IL
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24
Whist Might Happen If Politicians
Would Let IL Alone.

From the Dallas News.
The News believes that the politicians OF
the country have it within their power to
bestow a rich blessing upon the people
merely by giving the race problem a com
trable silence on this subject would at
least afford great relief 10 a very large
number Of people, and 1t might contribute
richly to the solution Of whatever problem
may confront as. The need OF relief has
been made somewhat imperative by the
efforts which Mr.. Williams and Gov. Var
daman have been making 10 win Sena-
torship from Mississippi. Gov. Vardaman.
as every one knows. has been trying to
make an issue out Of the fifteen amend
ment 10 the Federal Constitution, and
.consecrating all Of whatever natural and
acquired abilities he may have 10 the cor
rection Of that colossal blunder Don
Quixcte was never more Enthusiastically
futile IN any of his enterprises, and that
Gov Vardaman has made his ambition
the tail of this issue merely betrays his
readiness 10 identify himself with any
prejudice that offers an Office. Mr.. Will
Jams. his rival. has exposed the folly of
Gov FaTdaman's mission. but he has not
been able TO go the whole length; he. too,
has now and then boosted his candidacy
by denouncing the negro. so that those
who have been watching the campaign in
Mississippi have been regaled with a con-
siderable volume OF buncOmbe.
There are some cases for which the
most effective cure pathology knows is 10
let the patient alone Especially is it
salutary, when the mslady results from a
morbid state Of mind, 10 divert the pa
tient Forgetfulness is almost specific.
We suspect that the race problem. what
ever it is, is due in considerable degree
to the fetid vaporatiOHs of demagogic
politicians. In Texas we have no race
problem;" our politicians have found
abundance Of occupation In other mis-
chiefs. and while, Of course, the condi-
tions In Mississippi. Alabama, and other
States Of that section are somewhat DIFF
ferent from those of Texas, We believe
their race problem would be much nit
igated, II indeed it did not disappear, II
the politicians could be induced TO let ii
alone for a year. AT all events, silence
would dissipate the cloud of words in
which they have involved Il, and We
should thereby be able more clearly 10 see
the issue, whatever IL is.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

On Munjoy Hin, In Portland. Me-. there
Is an observatory which passes into the
centenarian class this year Il was
erected in 1907. when the now thickly pop
ulated section surrounding il was an I'm
mense pasture In which the families OF
the city kept their cattle. For one hun
drsd years Il has been the city's most
prominent landmark tt served In the
privateer days OF 1872 10 announce % the
people the sailings and winnings Of Port
lands ships, and through the days OF the
maritime prosperity Of the United States
It has flown the flags Of the most success
ful merchants and shipowners OF Port
land.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

We find this startling assertion in the
New York Herald, in connection with a
discussion Of the wisdom Of coneentrat-
ing our entire naval force on the Pacific
coast:
Menace Turks in the far East. where the irrita-
ton caused 10y conflicting interests, by unsympa-
thetic obligations and by Misrepresentation as 20
conduct ana intentions may blaze into var at any
moment. II Is a question Of the first Importance
that the extent and efficiency Of our ses power
should be shown the people Of the Orient and an
object-lesson furnished Of our fitness for war"
If II is true that war may break out
at any moment in the far East between
the United States and Japan, the dis
patch Of the battle-ship squadron to the
Pacific coast VIII be regarded as part Of
our war preparations. 1t will be some
thing more than a demonstration Jf the
efficiency OF our feet or the extent Of
our sea power. for these are as well
known and understood IN Japan as here.
II will be. in fact. the first maneuver for
position in a war which many Of our
naval officers think inevitable.
Do the American people realize the full
significance of such a maneuver? The
belief is widespread that we have no
cause of war with Japan at present, and
that all cause Of war may be avoided in
the future by diplomatic measures. Is
that belief i'll founded?
This is a peace-Ioying nation. No great
number of our people want war with
Japan. The efforts Of the administration
should be directed toward preserving
peace in the Orient Are warlike move
ments conducive 20 that end? Do they
not tend TO beget the very irritation
which. as our contemporary says, may
blaze into war2
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24
RACING GOSSIP.
a. N

ohio's Pride. carrying weight for
age, IS entered in the Quadrennial
Stakes. TO be run next year. Partial
to long distance races.
The 1904 Derby winner has been
declared cut, but IS still eligible.
Clockers can be found at Oyster
Bag.
Black Cigar. a Prairie State posi-.
bility. is aged" but has a good
following.
Indianapolis viii have an entry.
Ran coupled last time out.
Hand books are permitted on this
race. and The Big Stick viii quote
odds.
Two eorn-fed entries from Iowa
are possible starters.
Wisconsin has a vegetarian.
The successful entry in the En-
pire State Handicap last fall is be
ing groOmed; trainer. odell.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24
Prorrnss on the Canal

From the New York World.
Work on the Panama Canal is progress
ing so much faster than the estimates
that about s.. 100000 is needed in addition
10 the regular appropriation to continue
II without retrenchment. In asking for
more funds the commission could put
forth no more persuasive plea than that
II has kept ahead of the contract.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24
The FInnesIn Man.

There seemed to be something Ike
poetic justice in the fact that Mr.. strick-
land w. Gillian, Of Richmond. Ind, and
a former president Of the American Press
Humorists, was tangled up in a railroad
wreck ia Iowa the ether day As the
dispatches said. hts hurts, Ike his writ
ings. were not Of 3 serious nature. Few
humorists are better known than Gillian.
who graduated from "a country news
paper and whose claim 10 fame viii prob
ably always rest on his one famous poem
describing q railroad wreck Wien at
the wreck the other day he gathered him
self out Of the debris. his first words were
quotation from that poem. "Of agin,
on agtn, gone agin, Finnegln."
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24
DROP THE RACE ISSUE.

The great worlds altar-sairs.
That slope through darkness up 20 God. "
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24
VOL. l. NO. 12.
EVERY SATURDAY.
Our Motto: II you see il in The BIG
STICK, it isn'tso.
AN APOLOGY.

It goes against the grain somewhat
TO back water. but we've got TO do
it. and We are going to do 1t grace
fully. Far be it from US 20 with
hold the amends honorable when
soever It be due We dealt too
harshly with fellow human being
in No. II. The editorial trigger
went of half-cocked. 30 TO speak
The head Of the Gotham Weekly
Gazette writes us in much troubled
mood. We entirely misunderstood
the drift ii his language. it appears.
In alludig TO US as that human
nature fak r. The Washington I'd. c.
Big Stick " he merely aimed at
playfulneS passing pleasantly, or
"a bit Of airy persiaagc. as he
calls it, whatever that Is, and never
dreamed We would take the thing
seriously. The offensive term, used
inoffensiFely, was Teeled of un-
thinkingly. in the midst Of his diff
Guilty with the Afro-American
Lsagae, which. be says, Is now
happily adjusted, and after reading
the Roosevelt-Long conroversy. As
for questioning cur conservatism or
Teracity, perish the thought he
eXclaimA We Join him in that.
We shake his honest hand. He is a
man all over. We see it now, and.
having seen, hasten 10 expunge our
heated screed from the record, while
we restore the Gotham Weekly Ca
zette TO our exchange list.
A health 70 you. brOtherl May
your troubles continue 10 grow less.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

a girl In London has developed ten dis
tinct personalities. If that girl were only
a man and over here. how invaluable the
owner OF such q popularity would prove
in a close election" says the Baltimore
American. 1t rather shocks us 10 hear
our straight-laced old contemporary tax
ing Ike a Philadelphia politician.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24
It WOMB suit AIdrich.

From the St. Louis Republic
A tariff that will barely cover the diff
ference between domestic and foreign
cost Of manufacture? Aldrich and his
standpatters will never stand for It. The
margin Of uneaTned profit is not broad
enough for them In that kind of protec-
ton,
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24
what About the steeI Tru.t,

From he St. Louis Post-Dispatch
One excellent thing about Mr.. Taft is
his optimism. He hopes to see the Re
publican party unanimously in favor OF
tariff revision eighteen months hence.
Has the steel trust shown any symptoms
Of unanimity of late?
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24
ARE YOU GOING AWAY?

Subscribers who leave the city
temporarily should have The
Washington Herald mailed TO
them. Addresses viii be changed
as often as requested. You can
not keep fully informed about
affairs in Washington unless
your paper follows you.
Before leaving. mail or tele-
phone your address to this Of
fee.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24
Wrong. n rsuaI-

From the Omaha Bee.
George Bernard Shaw thought he was
drowning the other day. but, like most of
Shaws thoughts. # proved to be untrue.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

Il appears that the little joker in the
Georgia prohibition bill lies in the specific
taxing of social clubs maintaining a
locker system for dispensing intoxicating
drinks" There is hardly any doubt that
clubs viii be trumps down that way for
some time 10 come. e
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
BITS OF UNNATURAL HISTORY.

I.
I'm glad I'm gnot a gnu,
Said little Tommy Ray.
"He has TO spell his mame
In such a funny way"
II
They say the valiant wombat
Shrinks not from COW nor from bat,
But gives wombattle
To any cattle
That dare to offer combat
III.
The emu is the kind Of bird
That never beats his mate,
Which is a custom, as I've heard,
'Twere we'll 10 emulate.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

The railroads cannot deny that they are
responsible for a number Of freak poll
tieians and fake reforners throughout the
land though il is, doubtless, more their
misfortune than their fault
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

Several automobiles have bumped into
trains lately. with decidedly disastrous
effects upon the autos. Doubtless in time
the autos will be just as proficient in
the wreck1ng business as the trains.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

theoretically. agreeing 10 this idea OF
not collecting past-due debts from South
American republics by force Of arms Is
all right, doubtless but It looks as IL We
thereby forsake a promising field OF en-
deavor fer our new-fangled explosive,
Dunnite
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24
He's Coming Back.

From the Charlestoa News and Courier
II is hoped that Secretary Taft will stop
over in the United States for next years
campaign.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24
SHARP SHOTS At TAFT.

Some Editors Who Regard His CO.
lumbus Speech "A Mere Echo.
From The New York Sun.
Is there in al political history so ex-
traordinary an instance Of perfect COM
plaisance on the part OF the Aaron OF a
somewhat difficult Moses7
Fortunate exclaimed Mr.. Taft last
night in the enthusiasm Of his peroratiOn.
"a party with such a leader"
Fortunate, say we. is a leader with such
a follower as Mr.. Taft,
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

An Illinois woman thinks she has solved
the labor problem by feeding the hands
on the place pie three times a day This.
however, may result tn the embarrass-
ment Of a cemetery problem in the near
future
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24
Homeric Laughter.

From the Chicago Reoord-HeFald.
If Emperor William has any sense Of
humor he must be having a good laugh at
the expense of the diplomats who re-
fused to let Germany have any part IN
the policing OF Morocco.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

"a girl generally plays with a mans
heart just about as carefully as baby
plays with a watch" says the Dallas
News. Oh, cheer up! There are other
summer girls. and there will come other
summersi
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24
A Great Denier.

From the Chicago Inter Ocean.
E. H. Hartman denies that he has ex-
pressed a desire TO own all the railways
in the country What will E, H. Harri-
man DENY next2
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

Chicago girl ehewed and swallowed
a letter 20 her sweetheart rather than
have Il fan into her fathers sands. 1t
isn't often that woman will eat her own
words
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

The latest estimate of the Kansas
wheat crop puts it at 7O0oo,00O bushels,
with many backward communities yet to
hear from. Kansas appears to be as
much of a success raising wheat as II
used to be raising hades.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24
Just Waitinr for Fred.

From the Philadelphia Press
George Fred Williams is back from Eu-
rope, and we shall soon know all about
what's the matter with everything.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24
Fins.t in III. Wa

Sir Humphrey Norcross. British
military attache, who has been with
or army in the field around Chi
eago. declares that We have the
finest body Of troops in the world.
and that the, new recruits frosn
the stockyarsls should give a good
account Of themselves when it comes
to carnage.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24
Music without Inspiration,

From the indianapolis Star
Col. Watterson doesn't think that the
water wagon should be used for Dem
ocratic band wagon
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

In the last five years the British Parila-
ment has passed only forty bills Of a
general nature. Any American legisia-
ture would feel disgraced forever If II
couldn't pass that many IN week.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

The King OF Siam may be justified In
claiming kinshiD with the sun and the
moon. He certainly plays a star part
in one OF the worlds vaudeville kingdoms.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

A Denver man who is petitioning the
courts for a divorce affirms that he OBJ
tanned his wife through a want ad. OF
course. the newspapers cannot guarantee
that advertising always pays.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

Perhaps Mr.. Taft arranged to leave the
country Immediately after delivering his
keynote speech merely 10 show his
supreme contempt for Mr.. Foraker as a
party cut-up
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24


Mr. Taft far from announcing a direct,
forceful programme 20 carry out the will
Of the nation. shows himself as a sub
ordinate Of his superior officer. a sub
missiye obeyeT of orders but as a candi-
date for the Republican nomination for
President a reectionist-timid Of the dis
pleasure Of the American people, yet 10th
to offend or alarm the enemies OF those
who have been and stin are preying on
them.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

Ihe Norfolk Virginian-Pilot thinks that
me adoption Of a parcels-post law by
congress would insure Senator Platt's
resignation. Doubtless this will line up
New York for the scheme solid as a rock
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

As between advocates Of the soul kiss
on the one hand and the "NetbersoIa
cling on the other we should think a
happy medium might be found.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24
MEN AND THINGS.
A Lsnk with History.

strange link with the historic events
OF the past Is recalled by the announce
ment OF the death. in California. Of Col.
Robinson. l. 5. A.. retired. On the night
that President Lincoln was assassinated
II was Col. Robinson who saved the life
OF William II Seward. Secretary Of State.
Col. Robinson's death seems to bring
back these tragic events with distinct
ness. and his death removes one Of the
very few remaining figures IN that start
ling tragedy. For his services on the
night Of the assassination Col. Robinson
received the thanks Of the American peo-
pie through Congress and was awarded
a gold medal He was seYenty-fiye years
old when he died.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

From the Baltimore Sun.
Col. Bryan survives every wreck. both
! railroad and political
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

II the telegTaphers would only strike
during the Thaw trials and Hartje d.
vorce proceedings. much, If not all, would
be forgiven them.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

Secretary Bonaparte will deliver an ad-
dress before the National Prison Reform
Association at an early date. No doubt.
ne will inform the delegates just what
size, shape and degree Of security will
be required to hold trust magnate.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

didn't Mf. Roosevelt think Of that when
writing that last nature-faker article and
apology 10 DR.. Long?
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

Mr. Solomon Guggenheim, OF Colorado
says Mr.. Roosevelt wants to be a lring
The Colorado gentleman is a Joker II
seems.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

Isl An is to retire" again declare the
cables. Nothing short of a 6O-horsepower
automobile appears to need as frequent
retiring as Old Miss OF China.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

A former mayor Of Louisville committed
suicide because he was suspected Of graft
70 the amount Of $500. Doubtless he could
not bear TO be considered a mere piker.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

Once. when Rudyard KipIing was a boy
he ran out on the yard-arm Of a ship.
Mr.. Kipling." yelled a scared sailor,
your boy is on a yard-arm, and II he
lets go. he'll drown"
All" responded Mr. Kipling with
yawn, but he won't let go"
This incident also happened to Jim
Fiske. Horace Walpole, Napoleon Bona
parte, Dick Turpin, Julius Caesar, and
the poet Byron.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24
From The snrinrhnld Rsnnhl.e,n.

Fr0m the snrnEhoId kepubllcan.
Granting all that Mr.. Tafts admirers
claim concerning his real manhood, great
abilities. and resolution OF character, stnl
there is IN the speech no strong. clear,
convincing note Of personal independence
such as the American people like. The
speech embodies too much the candidacy
OF an echo.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

Under Maj Goethals they are digging
20 beat the band at Panama. Incident
ally, Uncle Sam Is doing some tall dig
ging also.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

It is bitterly denied that Mulai Hafig
has been proclaimed Sultan of Morocco
in his brothers stead. There was no
kick coming from Mulai, however.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24
The Mndern PILGRIM

From the Philadelphia North American.
Roosevelt at Provincetown. Pretty good
combination OF pilgrims and progress.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

do we need pump?" asks the At
lanta Constitution. Not yet, but soon!
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24
INSIDE VIEW OF TAFTS SPEECH
1t Makes a Most Profound Impression.

Being on confidential terms with
ihe great men Of the nation, The
Big SticA has privately sounded
them on Taft's Columbus speech.
Responses have come freely. II IS
gratifying. indeed, to note these
0utspokeu expressions. To no other
mighty medium, we venture 20 say,
Eald the statesmen Of the day
speak with 50 little reserve. Il Is
tribute Of faith in The Big Stick
which needs no emphasis. summed
up. these notable e1pressions-names
omitted. Of course-follow:
A Republican chicftain, now sum
mering on Long Isiand-frst in war
and first IN peace-heartily CON-
mends the speech in its entirety.
He vas privileged to read it before
its delivery, and We happen 10
know that any paragraph 10 which
he objected vas stricken out.
Another party chief.ain lsecond In
imp0rt=nce 10 aforesaidl-a tall man
citizen Of the State that novels
come from. also commends the Sec
retarys utterances in a general way.
However, he deplores agitation. lie
makes no criticism Of any man. but
is strongly of the opinion that what
the business world neds most is a
period Of absolute tranquility.
A Presidential candidate from an
industrial Commonwealth known for
the purity Of its politics. Repub-
lican who officially never runs amuek
thinks the Secretary erred on the
tariff proposition, and that, IN other
respects, the more the speech Is
analyzed the less effective it viii be
as a vote-maker He is also in
clined TO believe that Taft's size
IS against him.
The foremost man Of the House,
a standpatter OF the first degree, IA
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

On the whole. Mr.. Roosevelt's speech
indicates that he is very well pleased with
the Pilgrims progress.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

George Bernard Shaw fell In the ocean
recently, but did not sink. This must
have been a painful surprise to George
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

We reprint with pleasure The fol-
lowing literary note from the
Springfield Republican:
There is q ramor afoat in the
Middle West that Richard Harding
Davis is writing a book Of which he
himself is not 10 be the hero"
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

One Southern gentleman recentlv re-
ierred TO another Southern gentleman as
= pseudo-plgraphous ninny." Now Why
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24

From the New York Eyening Post.
Secretary Taft's speech was TO have
been a trumpet; it turns out 10 be a
second violin. His long and rather tedi-
ous speech might have been condensed
into the single sentence: Il say ditto to
President Roosevelt"
The Washington herald., 1907-08-24
Those Foolish Questions.

our train struck a bear on the way
down"
Was he on the track?"
No; the train had TO go into the woods
after him.