The news=record. [volume] (Enterprise, Wallowa County, Oregon) 1907-1910, 1907-10-24
~~~~~~~~~N~

Nobody. Johnny-Goodness gracious,
l am discovered!
Pa-Why did you 60 out in the rain
today without an umbrella, John?
JOHNNY ate salt mackerel this morn
ing for breakfast, and that keeps me
dry.
Johnny-Say, dad, If I ate a chop
and you ordered one and ate it, what
would your phone number be? Pa
Give 1t up, son. Johnny-It would be
8 1-2.
| Little Edna-What is leisure"
mamma? Mamma-It's the spare time
q woman has in which she can do some
other kind of work, my dear.-Chicago
Daily News.
He (sententiously)- always speak
my mind. She (tartly)-I suppose
that is why you have the reputation of
being a man Of So few words.-Balti-
more American.
Observation-Disclosures are you doing to
poor dolly, child? Child-Tm just go
ing to put her to bed, mummy. I've
taken off her hair, but l can't get her
teeth out.-Sourire.
Old Lady (improving the occasion) =
You know, boys, It's only the body
which lies here. Now, what Is it goes
to Heaven? Small Boy (tentatively)- y
is 'ead, mum.-Pick-M -Me-Up.
Nell-Yes, she said her husband mar
ried her for her beauty. What do yor
think of that? Belle-Well, think hel
husband must feel like widower now
Catholic Standard and Times.
; Mistress Bridget have you cement
ed the handle on to the water-ju,
: which you dropped yesterday? Bridge
: i started to, Mum, but most unfor
tunately l dropped the cement BOTTLE
Punch.
"The body of the late Major Jink
was cremated." What they goin' t
do with it?" "IIis widow has hin
corked up in fruit jar. Says it's til
last of the family jars Atlanta Con
stitution.
The Wife, during Quarrel-I'm &C
Ing right home to mother; 80 there
The Husband-That's right, dear, O
two evils always choose the less. Pleas
don't bring your mother here.-Yor
kers Statesman.
Pa-You naughty boy, you've bee
fighting again Johnny-No, pa, wa
only trying to keep a bad boy fror
hurting little boy. Pa-That was
noble act, my son; who was the littl
boy? Johnny-Me.
Department Store Manager-Tt
4 clerk In the butter department says he
! not going to lie about our butter an
4 more. The Boss-What salary does b
] get? Manager-Eight dollars weel
\ The Boss-Glve him nine.
| Sweet Singer-De Hammer says /
\ has high place in the next show b
\ goes out with. Comedlan-Well,
should say 1t is high. He sits in ii
! flies and tears up paper for the snow
\ storm scene.-Chicago News.
! Dot-I heard your soldier brotht
! wrote you birthday letter. Was thel
\ any war news in 1t? JOHNNY don
] know. You see 1t was printed on Il
\ envelope Return In FIVE days." So
! kept it that long and then sent 1t bac
! Waiter Girl (in restaurant)-We''
! got frogs legs, chicken livers, calve
\ brains and-Johnny turning to
! pail say, dad, they must be cue
\ people who live in this place. Dor
! you think they ought to call In dc
tor?
! "Is Mrs. Wise at homer inquir'
] Mrs. Chhtters, standing In the shade
\ of the doorway. II don't know, ma'an
= replied the servant. Il can't tell till
git better look at ye. If ye've q wa
on the side O. yer nose, ma'am, s
ain't."-Philadelphi Press.
Thar, my son, you see what larn
/ done fer yer daddy, don't you?" "Wh
I mawT "why, Jest as soon Us the &C
4 er'mint knowed that he could do figg'
I In his head they p'inted him postmast
, at $50 year, an purity soon he'll
sellin' stamps what goes on letters "
Atlanta Constitution.
But" asked the proprietor Of t
or Bongtong apartments, do you thi
al this man Is the best one you can get
ne janitorT "The best ever" replied I
el manager. "He has been ut varlo
times an. iceman and a street-car ct
\ ductor. He's as sassy and independe
Y as he can e."-Philadelphia Press.
"What l would like" said the eae
z young actress, SIS part with dea
scene In It. / never fall to make a
81. hit when I die" II don't doubt
he replied the heartless manager, "and
ac- may say that you would make the b
"a; aat gest hit of your life II you would
he away somewhere and die right now.
~, Chicago Record-Herald.
p Johnny (sitting up in his bed
12 80 .. m.)-Dad, I'm 50 thirsty. Pa
ON Lie quietly and go to sleep. John
'y- (after se)-But, dad, l must hf
A drink Of water. I'm 80 thirsty. Pa
II you don't go to sleep this minute
A have to thrash you. A long silen
u, then Johnny replied-All right dad.