The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-06-01
TOWN TALK
BY THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.

l want to say is to the Honolulu girls,
and 1 want to put them wise to the
fact that there is a real Count in Homo
lulu, although he has been hiding his
light under bushel, perhaps for the
reason that he is an American citizen
and is so Americanized that he has
forgotten all about royalty.
AS a matter of fact, however, his
grandmother on his fathers side was
an English countess.
Listen, girls, he's a bachelor and a
big, handsome man and his name is
Reginald Cope and he was last seen
arriving here from Makawei.
Z" : :" =
Sad times have fallen upon the famous
Onion Club. There is grief of the deep
est kind among the members. Alec
Robertson the head of the organization
in fact the man who furnished most
of the capital for the operation of the
organization-it was never an income
producing proposition except to Friend
Cunha-has deserted the outfit. He
has taken unto himself a wife. The
walls of sobbing grief that have been
sent up by the deserted members, have
sounded like the mourning cry of the
long lost Whangdoodle.
There is to be a meeting of the Old
Guard very soon, as soon as they can
sufficiently drown their grief, to decide
whether the club will disincorporate or
reorganize. In my humble opinion the
club needs some new blood and some
old liquor. This matter will also be
discussed at the next session. There
is however, a possibility that Robert
son may consent to remain at the head
of the organization. Frank Kruger
is married, yet, that fact does not seem
to make much difference with his reg
ular attendance on the sessions of the
club.
:: 8 I. {"
On every expedition there is always
some buffoon who seeks to play the
part of smart alac. There was such an
individual on the trip of the Congress
sional party to Maui recently.
AS all who have seen the place know,
Haleakala is one of the worlds scenic
wonders. The sight from the top of
the crater is most awe inspiring. The
Congressional party's smart alec wos
one of the first to reach the summit.
He looked around. Did he stand wrapt
amazement? Not he. He Immediately
bawled out ooh! my, what lemon. !
never saw such a lemon in my life,
And you call this some thing wonder
full. Why you ought to grow lemons
down there in the crater. You have
handed me a lemon on this trip all
right" A.
Not satisfied with this evidence OF
his quality he proceeded to make him
self obnoxious by standing on the tip
edge of the lava. The lava is constant
ly crumbling and falling down the
precipice. The place where this man
stood was undermined and, to people
familiar with volcanic action, seemed
very tlimsy place to stand. Most
of the crowd, who had by this time
rejoined the party, were thrown into
state of nervousness, expecting to
see the lava give way at any moment
and precipitate him into the crater. In
vain was he asked to come away from
the dangerous position, as it annoyed
the women in the party. For some
minutes this display continued. Dur.
ing the time, the pleasure of the re.
mainder of the party was absolutely
destroyed. The man did not fall into
his lemon grove site however for though
there are a million fools born a minute
Nature seems very careful of some OF
them.
:. :: !. ::
see that the Trans-Pacific, the 'or-
gan" of the commercial interests, etc.
takes occasion to refer to the story Of
the heavy imnOrt tiOns of rice from