davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-10-10
A Relief to Him,

ut must be hard said the friend,
''to have your wife. running off to
woman's rights meetings and all that
sort Of thing every night"
"Hard?" replied Henpeck, why it's
great! l can sit comfortably home
and not have to listen to her."-Phila-
ielphia Press.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-10-10
His Sacrifice.

81 fear that you must have sacrificed
your conscience occasionally" said the
sincere friend.
well" answered Mr.. Dustin Stax,
"a man ought not to expect to be as
successful as / am without some sacri-
flee. ce."-Washington Star.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-10-10

The elopers were all smiles. The
parson had just tied the knot. Sud-
denly the telephone buzzed furiously
and the brides father shouted:
"Wait for mel"
But the bridegroom only smiled some
more and sweetly replied Not on
your life, dad-in-law! Time and tied
wait for no man. We are tied now"
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-10-10
Croakers PopuInr.

Says London dispatch: Frogs have
succeeded monkeys as the reignins
pets Of the fools who delight in calling
themselves society ladies. Not a COM
mon frog, of course, but rare exotic
varieties, like the Amazon river frog,
which now costs 500 or more apiece"
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-10-10

Physician-You must not eat be-
tween meals
BOarder-But that Is the only chance
l get.-New York Sun.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-10-10
Apparent to All,

"Yes," said Miss Mugley, II always
try to retire before midnight l don't
like to miss my beauty sleep"
Really" said Miss Knox, you
should try harder. You certainly don't
get enough Of t."-Philadelphia Press.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-10-10

Too Dull for the Cha In feur.

New York Is to have new auto
mobile speedway"
Just for automobiles7 And nothing
to get in the way?"
Nothing"
"Say, wouldn't that be the limit of
deadly dullness" Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-10-10
Puzzle Joke,

my wife's away, and If I didn't
write her every day she'd some home'
Il notice you are careful to write her
every day"
Query: Is this commendation or
innuendoO O-Pittsburg Dispatch.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-10-10
IRRIGATED LAND IN WASHINGTON

The Wenatchee Valley Irrigated APP
pie Orchards are paving $500 to $500
per acre this yea-. Cascade Orchards,
one mile from Leavenworth, is now on
sale. Get particulars free rom
H. c. Peters, 622 Alaska Bldg, Seattle
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-10-10

"He seems to be a good man, but he
cheats in a horse trade. How can h,
reconcile that with his conscience?"
my dear sir, when man trades
horses his conscience always goes to
Sleep"
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-10-10
The TrOuhle.

Jones-I understand there is trouble
between Mrs. Poet and her husband.
Smith-Yes. He couldn't sell his
poems, and she couldn't eat them, so
she left him.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-10-10
How's ThiS7

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for any
Catarrh Cure.
FL CHENEY & CO.. Toledo, o
We, the undersigned, have known F. J..
perfectly honorable in ali business transactions
and financially able to carry out any oblga-
tion made bv his firm
WALDING, KINNAN & MARVIN,
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo o
Halls Catarrah Cure is AIKEN Internally act
ing directly upon the blood and mucous sur
faces of the system. Testimonials sent free
Price rs cents per bottle. Sold by all Druggists
Take Halls Family Pills for Constipation.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-10-10

Those who are looking for a chance
to sacrifice self for others should get
the job Of sitting at the head of the
table.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-10-10

EsTc st. Vtus' Dance ana all Nervous Diseases
CIIS permanently cured by DR.. Kline's Great
Nerve Restorer. Send for FREE 81 trial bottle and
treatise. DR.. r. H. Kline, Id. s31 Arch ST., Pha., Pa
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-10-10

form of pimples and black heads, while
Psoriasis comes in scaly patches on differ
ent parts of the body One of the worst
forms Of skin trouble is Salt Rheum;
its favorite point of attack is the scalp,
sometimes causing badness. Poison Oak
and Ivy are also disagreeable types of skin
disease. The humor producing the trouble
lies dormant in the blood through the
Winter to break out and torment the
sufferer with the return of Spring. The best
treatment for all skin diseases Is S. S. S.
1t neutralizcs the acids and removes the
hu1nors SO that the skin instead of being
irritated and diseased, is nourished by a
supply of fresh, healthy blood. External
applications of salves, washes, lotions, ETC.,
while they soothe the itching caused by
skin affections, can never cure the trouble
'od. S. S. S. goes down into the circulation
oreign matter and restores the blood to its
1et1f1 CD
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-10-10

Mothers viii find Mrs. winslow's Soothing
Syrup the best remedy to use for their childrel
during the teething period.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-10-10

Isuffered with Eczema for forty
yoars and could find nothing to
cure me until I tried s. s. s.. ]
suffered intensely with the Itch
Ing and burning; pustules would
sticky fluid; crusts would como on
the skin and when scratched of
the skin was left as raw as @ piece
Of beef. I suffered agony in the
long years I was afflicted, but
when used s.. 8. 8. I found q per-
feet cure. There has rever been
any return Of the trouble.
G. II. EVANS,
Stockmau, Hob,
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-10-10
SKIN DISEASES
HUMORS I'M THE BLOOD

When the blood Is pure fresh and healthy the skin will
and bemshes
iaton Its is manifested by skin eruption disease
humors get Into the blood generally because sluggish
condition OF the members of the body
off the refuse unhealthy matter is LEFT
and ernent and the circulation
poison The blood begins throw off the hors through
pores and glands OF the skn producing
salt Salt RhsT % and skin erspons Of various kinds
flows sticky fluid that dries and forms itching intense
generally on the back breast face legs though parts
OF the body be affected letter
the acid in the blood dries the intended
to keep soft and plant
hard ealery
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-10-10
Hoods SarsapariIIs

It vitalizes the blood and gives vigor and
tone to all the organs and functions.
In usual liquid form or in chocolated
tablets known as Sarsatabs. 100 doses ST.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-10-10

because they do not reach the blood goes
out particle foreign matter and restores the blood its
normal pure condition. thereby permanently curing of Skin
affection Book on Skin Diseases and desired
70 all who WRITE s. s. S. for sale all
7HE SWIFT Specific co. AukwrA "a.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-10-10
General Debility

Day In and day out there is that feeling
OF weakness that makes burden Of itself.
Food does not strengthen.
Sleep does not refresh.
1t is hard to do, hard to bear, what
should be easy,-vitality is on the ebb, and
the whole system suffers.
For this condition take
The ranch. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1902-1914, 1907-11-01
Genasco Ready Roofing.

The Barber Asphalt Paving company
was among the first to recognize the
immense commercial value of the as
phalt yielded by Trinidad lake and they
secured control of it's output. and have
been bringing this product to the United
States for many years and adapting it
to the use of modern civilization. One
of the most important uses to which
they have put it, is to make water
proof roofing. that defies the. storms,
heat cold and every other weather con-
dition. This is called Genasco Ready
Roofing. 1t doesn't leak and thus has
the advantage over shingles, which warp
and rot; tin, which pits and rusts; and
go to pieces. Genasco is adapted for
every building on the farm, from your
own residence down to the chicken
house-and if you cover the chicken
house all over with Genasco it keeps it
mighty warm in winter. Any handy
man about the farm can lay Genasco
Ready Roofing. This saves the expense
of an experienced roofer and gives last
ing protection, so that there is consider
able saving every way. Valuable in
formation on this subject is incorporated
in Book %, issued by the Barber As
phalt Paving Co, Philadelphia. They
one who writes for 1T.
The ranch. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1902-1914, 1907-11-01
government Galloway herd at Kodiak,

government Galloway herd at Kodiak,
has been busy this summer fencing,
haying, and exploring a large tract
of land for future use. He is of the
opinion that Galloways can be devel-
oped into excellent milk cattle. Two
half blood Galloway heifers at the
Kodiak Baptist orphanage are remark
ably fine animals. Their mothers are
from native stock, bred up by the
introduction of Shorthorn bulls, and
their sire is Extirpator 27242.
All breeding animals should have
laxative ration before the young are
born, and especially so when they are
on dry feed.
Feeding cattle are simply flesh pro-
ducing machines, and they should be
disturbed as little as possible. Keep
ness as much as you can. 1t tends to
put on flesh.
A good plan for sailing cattle is
to keep salt where the animals can get
at it when they want it, instead of
mixing it with the feed. A steer gen.
than the feeder himself.
On the big ranches horses associate
in bands and great friendship is Gre
ated among them. They become so
attached that if separated they will
soon rejoin their own band. To get
one or two horses out of a band you
will have to corral the whole herd.
In treating calf scours at the Michi-
gan experiment station mixture of
tincture of rhubarb, camphor and OPT
ate, equal parts, in hot water, is used.
One dose is teaspoonful. In one case
a calf with scOurs was treated success
fully after it was so near death the
feet were stretched out cold and stiff
and there was every symptom of
DEATH The calf was given the medi-
cine and fed with raw eggs and milk
occasionally, and he recovered and
made one of the best feeders in the
bunch.
Pigs to breed we'll should not be too
fat. 1t is the aim of successful breed
ers of swine to keep their animals in
a medium condition, neither too fat
nor too thin. A SOW that is too fat
will be hard to get with pig, will be
less prolific and will make a poorer
mother than a thin SOW The fat ami
NAL is likely to roll on her pigs, and
the pigs from these sows are apt to
be small and weakly. Do not breed
sows until they are ten to twelve
months old, and then keep them in
The ranch. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1902-1914, 1907-11-01

medium flesh and they will do better
than If too fat. Proper food and spe-
cial care and attention are necessary
to raise good pigs.
The ranch. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1902-1914, 1907-11-01

All breeding animals should have a
laxative ration before the young are
born, and especially so when they are
on dry feed.
The ranch. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1902-1914, 1907-11-01

Feeding cattle are simply flesh pro-
ducing machines, and they should be
disturbed as little as possible. Keep
them in good order and promote lazi-
ness as much as you can. 1t tends to
put on flesh.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1907-06-06

Healthy kidneys filter the impuri-
ties from the blood. and unless they
do this good health is impossible.
Foley S Kidney Cure makes sound
kidneys and will positively cure all
forms Of kidney and bladder disease.
1t strengthens the whole system.
A man who is in perfect health, so
he can do an honest day s work when
necessary. has much for which he
should be thankful. Mr.. L. C. Rod
gers. OF Branchton. Pa, Writes that
be was not only unable tn work, but
he couidn I stoop over to tie his own
shoes. Six bottles OF Foley IS Kidney
Cure made new man of him. He
says. success TO Foly's Kidney
Cure"
III you will make inquiry il will be
o revelation to you how many sue
cumb 20 kidney or bladder trout bles
in one form or another. If the pa
tieDt is not beyond medical aid, Fo-
lev's Kidney Cure will cure. Ii
never disappoints.
w. K. Ward of Dyersburg, Tenn,
writes: This is TO certify that have
used Orino Laxative Fruit Syrup for
chronic constipation, and il has
proven, without q doubt, TO be a
thorough, practical remedy for this
trouble, and it is with pleasure
offer my conscientious reference" 4"
Loker d deWaal.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1907-06-06

An amusing glimpse of Hans von
Buiow is afforded in this extract
from one of his letters: "There
were two bassoonists in the orchea-
ira - imagine, amateursl They
were my dread and kept me con-
stantly on tenterhooks. If they
had nothing to play, then | was in
q state of terror that they might
come in, and | was constantly warn
ing them Not yet,' but if they real
ly had to come in, then I had not
the courage to give them the sign,
and / warned them as before. An
amateur kettledrum player, on the
contrary, who received honorable
mention, must have been a perfect
marvel of timekeeper, for when he
had very long pauses he counted
them inwardly and used to pay lit
tie visits to an adjoining cafe with
out endangering the ensemble, as
he always got back punctually to
his post in time for his next entry"
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1907-06-06
Snuhbed Governor Hushes.

Governor Hughes and his military
secretary, Colonel Tread well. occu-
pied seat in a Delaware and Hud-
son day coach on their way from AL
bany TO Binghamton TO attend the fu-
neral OF the Governor S legal adviser.
Ernest Wilson HufTcut. At Scho..
harie Junction they left the seat TO
send telegram and on returning
they found it occupied by a negro.
woman so large that she took up both
places.
MY dear madam" said the Gov
ernor, politely, this seat contains
my valise. overcoat and umbrella.
May | ask you to take another seat?"
Swelling with indignation and in
a voice that filled the car, the intrud-
or replied:
Deed All amt agwinet' move.
Use ies' as good as you. an Ah don Z
take no back talk from nobody
You Jes take youh things an move
youhself."
The Governor moved. The indig-
nant "aunty" proved to be Mrs.
Nate Thomas OF Coblesville. She
was crest fallen when she learned
the identity Of the man she bad
snubbed.-New York Tribune.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1907-06-06
Unbalanced.

After making a tour of the town
q local beggar arrayed himself in
the garments that had been given
him.
His toilet made, he looked at his
reflection in the pool in the wood
and shook his head.
"Here l am" he said to his COM
panion, who was donning his cast
off clothes, wearing the boots of
a bank president, the trousers of a
shopkeeper, the shirt and coat and
vest of a doctor and a minister's
hat. Yet in spite of it all I look
like a tramp
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1907-06-06

Lets see, said the man who had
been away long time. you had two
boys. didut your"
Yes. replied Pat. There would
av been three av thin, but one was
born a girl"
i remember now. Tom and Andy
you named them. after Thomas JEFF.
ferson and Andrew Jackson. didn't
your"
Yes"
As remember Tom he was q
very bright little fellow. / never
knew so much about Andy?"
"Ah, but that Andyl He's the
boyl Heeed the big legue twice in
battin', and now he's managin club
in Missouri aud has contract for FIVE
years at terrible big salary. Me
and his ma can't get over bein' glad
we never made Andy go to school,
but let him play ball in all the corner
lots OF the neighborhood. And all
the neighbors have his pitcher in
their parlors. They are proud OF
him."
That's fine. / am glad TO here
that Andy is doing so well. But
what about TomH l always had an
idea that he was going to turn out
WE'LL"
No; Tom ain't' amountin' to
much. He was more for wastin his
time goin' to college and that. He's
only the chief lit'ry adviser or some
thing like that for one of these con-
Germs that prints books. But thin.
you know, they say there's a black
sheep in nearly every family.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1907-06-06
The Cab Horss Won.

A gentleman who was anxious to
catch train hailed hanson, gave
instructions as to his destination
and jumped in, but the horse made
terribly slow progress, and the
"fare" was afraid that he would
miss his train.
'Iook here, cabby," he said,
"can't you make your gee-gee go
faster? l must catch the 3:45."
The cabman winked knowingly.
"Yes, sir, he can 20 faster," was
the reply, "but it's like this: Yer
see, my horse is an old racer, and
the best way for you to make him
60 faster is for YOU to bet me half
q crown he won't catch the 3:45.
That1l put him on his mettle, and
he'll fly like the wind"
The horse did it. London Ex-
press.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1907-06-06
Poor JUDGES,

Two Marseillais, who have q well
deserved reputation for tall stories,
were discussing the relative merits
of various cheeses.
"Why," said the first, ''the cheese
I'm talking about is SO remarkable
that at the last show the judges
uncovered when they came to it."
"Thats nothing" retorted the
second. @The kind of cheese Pm
telling you about is superior in
every way. 1t wins a medal at ev-
cry show, and it walks up to the
jndges tn get it."-Indiscret.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1907-06-06

Several years since my lungs
were so badly affected that / had
many hemorrhages," writes A. NJ.
Are. Of Wood. Ind. II took treat
ment with several physicians with
out any benefit. | then started TO
take Foley's Honey and Tar, and my
lungs are DOW as sound as a bullet.
/ recommend it 10 advanced stages
of lung trouble" Foley's Honey
and Tar stops the cough and heals
the lungs, and prevents serious re-
suits from a cold. Refuse substi-
tutes. Loker & deWaal.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1907-06-06
NATURES SECRETS.
ProeIsms Of Life Over Which Man
Can Only Theorixe.

&an Only TheoFtxe.
"You hear a great deal of talk
about q woman not being able to
keep secret" said an agnostic who
dabbles In a dilettante way in near
ly all branches of human knowledge.
"but glance at the record of old
Mother Nature viii readily disprovs
this time honored axiom. The mind
Of man since the first faint dawn of
time has sought to wrest from her
some Of the things she knows, yet
her lips have remained a closely
sealed as those Of the sphinx. In
many things she is as garrulous a.
any other Of her sex, but in many
Of her moods no amount of fat
terry or cajolery suffices to get even
the faintest glimpse into her real
thoughts.
eve might 90 back into the re-
motest period Of history for exam
Piles, but few that are well known
of all men viii suffice to illustrate
what / mean.
perhaps the greatest secret ma
ture holds is the mystery Of life and
death. Apparently there is no rea-
son why a man who lives a well reg
ulated life should not continue to
live indefinitely, but the stern fact
is that his time is certainly allot-
ted. Men have sought in vain to
solve this problem. But not one
year has been added to the sum to-
tai of human life by all the re-
searches of the scientists. Ponce de
Leon sought in vain the fountain of
external youth and Brown-Se-
guards elixir, that was to arrest the
ravages of decay, proved as unavail-
ing as De Icons search for the
fountain.
"Alchemists of old devoted their
lives to discover a chemical process
that would transmute the baser
metals into gold, but after centu-
rles of research only old Mother
Nature holds the secret of the for
nation of this precious metal. New
ton worked out the correct theory
of the law of gravitation from the
incident of seeing an overripe ap-
pie fall from tree, but all the aero
nauts of all time have been unable
to discover a way to overcome this
law, and we are still bound to the
earth as by iron chains as far as
practical purposes are concerned, as
airships and balloons are only dan
gerous toys and bid fair to remain
30 to the end of time.
"Laplace mapped out the
courses of the stars and outlined
nearly all we know of the solar sys-
TEN, but not q single fact of real
benefit has ever resulted from our
little knowledge. We theorize, but
cannot prove, and nature only
smiles at our defeat. These exam
pies might be multiplied indefinite
ly, but these few of the bigger
problems of life show that natures
secrets are safely guarded from the
prying eyes of man. We are but an
atom in the universe. We know
not whence we come nor whittier
We 60. All we know is that we live
and that our little life is ended with
q sleep. ep."-Birmingham Age Herald.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1907-06-06

Il heard of a man the other day."
said a member of the New York
bar, "who carried his ideas Of hon
or to an extreme limit. He failed
for an immense sum and settled
with his creditors for 20 cents on
the dollar. But he hunted up one
Of them and paid him in full; said
he could not sleep well if he did
not do So"
"Why this one especiallyF"
at was q poker debt"
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1907-06-06
Saint Maru's Beacon.
Job Printing, such as
Handbills, Circulars
Blanks, Bill Heads, executed with
neatness and despatch.

Parties having Real or Personal
Property for sale can obtain des-
criptive haadbills neatly executed
and at city prices
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1907-06-06

STEAMER ST. MARY's
will leave Pier b Light street, wharf.
baltimore, weather permitting, every
Wednesday and Saturday, at $50 q. IN :,
tor Fair Haven, Plum Point, Governors
Kun, Dare 8 and Patuxent River as lar up
as Benedict.
Returning, steamer will leave Benedict.
weather permitting, every Monday and
Thursday at $50 a. IN, Sotterley at 8
a. IN, Milestone Landing at 10 a. m,
Governors Run at II m, Plum Point at
l p. m, and Fair Haven at 2:3O d. IN.
for Baltimore.
Freight received ut Pier 8, Tuesday and
Friday until $50 p. IN, for thefollowing
wharves'
Fair Haven, Plum Point, Dare's, Gov.
ernor's Run, Cove Point, Drum Point,
Milestone, Solomon's Island, Spencer's,
st. LeOnard's, Sellers, SOtterley, Jones' .
Parker's, Forests, Williams, Dukes,
Trent Hall, Holland Point, Benedict
STEAMER POToMAC
will leave Pier Light Street, weather
permitting, every Wednesday at Sp. m,
Tor Patuxent River direct as far as Bris-
tol.
Returning will leave Bristol, weather
permitting, Thursday at 10 a. m, Low
er Marlboro at p. m, Benedict at 3 d.
m, Sotterly at 6 p. IN. Milestone at 3 D.
m, for Baltimore, calling at no wharves
below Leitch's except when signalled
from wharves on the river for passengers
and perishable freight.
Fright received at Pier 2, Wednesday
until $50 p. IN. for the following
wharves:
Leitch's, Trueman's Point, Deep Land
ing, Hollands Cliffs, Magruder's Ferry,
Lower Marlboro, Whites Landing, Fer
~ Landing, NOttingham's 8, Lyon g Creek.
Bristol.
WILLARD THOMSON, Genl. Manager
T. MIRDOCH Cen EFT G paaa ~
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1907-06-06
New Hotel Service.


hOIEA LAWhENCE
win be open Sept. 1st, 1906, with every
thing new and up-to-date. With best
services and Livery attached. open day
and night. Meals as an houxH dive us
q call
nPPErT, JOHNSON & POWELL,
July 12-d.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1907-06-06
GreenWeu'S Mill.

FLOUR, Meal and Feed on hand
for sale all the time cheap for CASH.
Hereafter, in order to avoid hav-
ing to keep mill books, all orders
must be accompanied by the cash.
+. +. GREENWELL.