davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-01-04
FACTS ABOUT FIGURE Mn
Professor of the Occult Has Added .
New Wrinkle.


Mathemaucians have Juggled with
the mystic figures 3, and 8 for ages.
and now comes a foreign professor"
OF the occult science to tell fortune
by "the force in simple numeral--
the 9. He reminds his victims that II
they multiply any number. short OF a
decimal, by the two figures OF the
product added together will make g.
Thus: Nine times are IS, and s and
1 are 9: 9 times 3 are q, and and 2
are g.; 9 times ; are 40. and 5 and 4
are 9; times are 81. and 4 and 5
are 9; 9 times 7 are So. and 3 and s
are 9; times s are ". and 2 and 7
are 9; time 9 are 81, and and are
9. He might have added that any
number in the hundreds of thousands
multiplied by will give a product
the sum of whose digits is a multiple
of 9. Take at random-9 times 545
are 1905. the sum of which is Is. and
9 into is goes 2 times Take 1851
multiplied by equals 66,16S; the sum
of the digits is. 81; 9 into q goes
3 times. Oh, there is an immense
amount OF fun in 9.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-01-04
POSTUM CEREAL CO., LTD.
Guarantee On Their Products

We warrant and guarantee that
all packages OF Postum Cereal Grape
S1fs and Eiijah's Mamma hereafter sold
nv anv iobber or retailer. comply with
tn. provisions of the National Pure
Food Law. and are not and shall not
be adulterated OF mis-branded within
the meaning Of said Act Of Congress
approved June 80. 1906. and entitled.
An act for preventing the manufae-
ture. sale or transportation OF adul-
terated or mis-branded or poisonous or
deleterious foods. drugs. medicines,
LIQUORS. and for regulating traffic there
IN for oth-r purposes.
Postum CEREAL Co. LTD.
C. w. Posr, Chairman.
Battle Greek, Mich
Dec. u, 1906.
Subscribed and sworn to before me
this 18th day of December. 1905
BESJAMIN T. REID.
Notary Public.
NV commission expires July l, 1907
Our goods are pure they always
have been and always viii be. they ara
not mis-branded. We have aiwsyi
since the beginning of our business
nrinted a truthful statement on tEs
packages OF the ingredients contained
therein and we stand back of ever,
package
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-01-04
Used His Fist.,.i

"Ha. here comes Radcliffe With a
dagger. My last moment has arrived, =
exclaims one of the characters in. a
new melodrama. 80.
Unfortunately, however, the actor
representing Radcliffe had forgotten
the dagger and come s.on the stage
without it, But he was equal to the
occasion. Villain" he exclaimed,
thou thought'st thou. saw'st a dagger
in mine hand Twas thine evil con-
sciencer supplied the vision. But will
slay thee with a blow of this strong
right hand, which he proceeded to. do.
-Tit-Bits
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-01-04
WASTED ENERGY.

John" she said. what type of
canal would be best to build at Pan
ama?' il,srou
Delighted, John laid down his pa
per. This was where he lived. For
30 minutes the room resounded' with
such terms as flock levels" tide
speeds. abutments,' 1sangle irons"
and "geodetic surveys"
1T the end he smiled at her.
do you agree with me-" he asked.
Eyes," she answered absently. But
was thinking
81 was jdst thinking, John, that I'd
have my old black. mohair. made over
for the fall and get baby one of those
white rabbitskin. coats. IN. Y. Press.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-01-04

She .(teasingly)-What a fine-look-
ing fellow the half back on the other
team is. His features are so regular.
He lsavagely) The match
isn't over yet-Cincinnati CONNER
cial-Enquirer.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-01-04
He Remembered.

They had been married just month.
DO you know what day this ?"
she asked sweetly at the breakfast
table. 5.t s15e -
yes" heT Sanswered, snervously;
this is tee day.I have to pay the sec.
ond instaIlment on that wedding ring
WORKERS Statesman. = ..r.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-01-04
Excitement.

There is a lot of excitement in
running an automobile" remarked the
cheerful citizen.
Yes" answered the man who smells
of gasoline, "it gives life the charm OF
uncertainty You never know whether
you are going to be- late for dinner or
early at the emergency hospital. =
Washington Star. ,f,s.S
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-01-04
Portable.

There's man of the name OF BIZ
son that has applied. TO ME for Joo
as coachman. He says he used 10
work for you. Has he a good char
acser2"
yes, if he hasn't lost it. l gave
him one when he left me. Chicago
Tribune.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-01-04
The colonel,s Fate.

A doughty Kentuckian colonel,
Whose watchword was BY the .etolonelr'
Had a son who. was smart
Yet who broke his dads heart,
BY his work on a yellow-hued colonel. :
Judge.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-01-04
Heavenly.

aAnd he said my voice was heav-
enly?" RI
1T amounted to that.
Tell me what he said. using his ex'
act words"
well, if you must have it, he said
your voice was unearthly. Houston
Post.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-01-04
called In.

There are no birds in. fast years nests
No feet in last years shoes:
And in the chilly autumn days
+ There are. no peek-a-boos. 49,
Houston Post.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-01-04
Improvina the Verses.

The Poet-What- did you do with
those patriotic verses of mine?
The Editor-Tried to improve them.
Improve them?"
yes; 1 burned them. There wasn't
enough fire in 'em. "-Yonkers States
man.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-01-04
Learned Something.

You've been to college whole
year and / don't think you've learned
a thing"
"Oh. yes. have. dad. I've learned
the class yell."-Yonkers Statesman.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-01-04
Grateful Ienoth.

How is the new choir?"
s'Wen, if you must know. was
sorry when the minister stopped
preaching. Judge.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-01-04
A Blow.

A Blow.
Young Husband-I suppose. now j
have married your daughter you will
continue to, manage her, business af-
fairs, for her?
Father-Yes, sir, Pm perfectly
Wiling. to manage her business, af-
fairs, if you'll manage her.-Detroit
Free Press.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-01-04

Miss Hard's thin lips compressed
into showing smile. I'm
less you can give me some good Tea-
son for wishing to see Miss Porter. to
whom you confess you are an utter
stranger, as you are also TO me, can
not grant your request
Very welI"- Wayne grasped his
hat and cane and moved toward the
door. ~ suppose you will doubt me
when / say that ! am a gentleman
but / am one, / believe and / hoped
to be received as such when / came
here to frankly ask an interview that
might have sought clandestinely,
But it seems that this sort of conduct
is not appreciated Good day"
For an hour he tramped aimlessly.
his mind full OF plans by which to de-
feat his recent obstructionisI and
that night he SLEPT little. He rose
early and set off in the direction OF
the seminary and, when he returned,
towards noon, he wore the expression
of one who has solved perplexing
problem. The company was TO close
its season on the coming Saturday
and now Wayne announced his wish
to finish his work on Wednesday.
II don't like to let you go" pleaded
the manager. but Wayne insisted aud
he had his way.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-01-04
Not Yet Cured.

But how do you know he is a. sin
gle man?''
Because he is SO conceited.--
Houston Post.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-01-04

Mrs. Pesce-My husband and new
or dispute before the children. We al.
ways. send them out when a quarret
seems imminent.
Miss Sharp-Ah, I've often won
dered why they're so much in the
street.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-01-04
"Easy Monthly Payments"

Lives OF Great Mem stands behind me-
Stamped in gold and bound in blue
Every book tries to remind me
That the next installments due
Judge.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-01-04

The Country Parson-That is an I'M
commonly fine large hog, deacon.
The Farmer-Yes. sir. All If we
wuz as fit to die as him. sir.-Cincin.
natl Commercial Tribune.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1907-01-04


II don't like to let you go" pleaded
the manager. but Wayne insisted aud
he had his way.
For Miss Hard Wednesday brought
two distinct annoyances- In the first
place. Miss Porter wished TO attend
the matinee, and, when permission
was refused, she said something point
ed. In the second place, Adolpb. the
chef, suddenly resigned. At this Miss
Hard announced a sick headache, and.
after sending advertisements to the
papers for another cook. retired to her
room.
The next morning. after memoir.
able breakfast. prepared by the laun-
dress and second girl, Miss Hard al
most. smiled when the maid an
nounced that man had applied for
the positionsof Chef
Show him in she commanded, and
a moment later he stood before her,
tall and swarthy, with a small black
mustache and imperial "A French
mani" she exclaimed to herself and il
struck her that a chef de cuisine
straight from Paris would add to the
sum of the schools attractions.
Your name?" she asked.
Emile sardou.~ he replied with a
kingly bow.
-sardo1. You are not related to
the great dramatist?"
!. -Oui. oui,. madame; he ees my grand
father
Miss Hard gazed at him almost with
reverence. She was thinking how she
would point out her chef to visitors as
the grandchild of genius.
You are a good cook, good chef?
You understand ii all?"
~Oui. oui. madame He let fly
volley of assurances. I cook any
ting. anything at all Eet ees deleeci-
GUS"
You can make Dies2'
He rolled his eyes ecstaticalIy.
~Ah, madame. eet ees re pattie Eat
I make more best IAN all All. re
pattie, he shall be so grand, so beau
tiful, so-what you call-so magnif
ique." After this outburst Miss Hard
lost no time in securing Monsieur Sar
dou
At lunch there was a dearth of eat
ables but Miss Hard reflected that
Monsieur Sardou had scarcely had
time TO prepare anything At dinner
the roast was burned and the coffee
weak enough for a nursery but she
made allowances and carved deeper. I
The other servants wondered at Emile.
He talked French when they asked
him about himself. yet, when he
burned his hand he swore in perfect I
English; and he seemed possessed TO
leave the kitchen and wander through {
the halls. The MAGNITUDE" pastries I
came and went uneaten. for they were /
and then Monsieur Sar- /
dou blamed the range. Fen my cOun- (
tree" he told Miss Hard, ''eet ees not (
so. l must have ze brick oven"
all pastries were pur- /
chased from the bakery.
So for a week Monsieur Sardou 4
reigned. amid smoke and culinary .
calamities unnumbsred; then he de- /
parted. and, about the same time.
Miss Porter disappeared. Three days
later Miss Hard sat in the library
reading this letter:
MY Dear Miss Hard-Forgive me
Tor causing you dyspepsia; but. really.
i was all your fault. When you re-
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1907-06-06
Labor is Happiness.

Work properly chosen and con-
scientiously performed is the great
est promoter of human happiness.
It strengthens mind and body as
nothing else will or can do. 1t is
a veritable mental and physical
tonic. incompatible and never
failing. Its influence, alike to
individuals and nations, is emo
blingand exalting. All true pleas
ures and joys wear a crown, the
warp and wool of which have been
woven in the mighty loom of labor.
Man 8 estate is essentially an active
one, constant in it's demands for
a utilityof the energy supplied by
nature. It would be hard, if in
deed possible, to conceive of an
absolutely idle person, but, should
the conception be- effected we
would then behold a hideous OBJ
misery personified. Having
no legitimate work one will, most
likely, seek, first, some harmless
recreations with which to beguile
the idle hours and practising them
until stalled by numerous repeti-
tions, or until they have proven
their inef6ciency to satisfy the de.
mands of an inherent prompting,
he turns, very naturally, to some
form of dissipation, frequently fol-
lowed by vice or downright crime.
Provocative force, distinct and in
separable from our being, is o
prime factor of the universe and
cannot be overlooked with 1mpun.
ity. When we are so unmindful
of our best interests as to disregard
or neglect the highest principle Of
life, then, indeed, we are reduced
and lowered to plane far below
! the one which we have an undis
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1907-06-06

wild thin an he, not bein' chin
ist an wantin' to uphold the fam
lily pidygray, tells her they are
moo spaychays av white cock
reaches. Nanny d divorce SCOT
has started from such simple
controversy.
AT night be comes home to- a
dinner which is lighter than the
loonch, OWN to the faymale's alb
sintmindedniss What waz vance
bafe roast is now a cinder, but
he ates the cinder wild the same
painful relish he Exhibited on the
chaze. From siven to half past
tin he bates the carpit wild a mop
handle, an be two O'Clock the mkt
mornin' iverythin' is moved back
in the house. Tuesday she moves
it all out agin en- comminces to
clane the wall paper wild gasolane.
If the house isn't burnt down be
noon the color av the paper is full
avstrakes from roonin' togither an
consequently must be repapered:
Be the time the ould man-livln'
chafely on free loonch-is hollow
around the chakes, lame in wan lig
an spakes only whin he is spoken
to. His conscience, howiver, is
still clear, fer whittier he owns the
shatoe or rints it he is takin' no
chances av bein' suddenly imbar-
raised.
Yis, whiniver ye see man wild
string around his finger We can
lay the babby's bank on the fact
that his wife is clanin' house an
that he has put it there to jar his
mimory whin he goes past the fire
insurance Office. Winsday she
hangs pictures, but hovin' the
natural femynine suspicion av slip
ladders she piles box on chair
an pail on the box an thin wild
a pair av sissors prosades to pull
all the ould nails out. These she
drives back-wan inch from the
original hole-sometimes wild a
flat iron but most av the time wild
hair brush or Shawn moog. In
the manetime the pail which niyer
waz intinded to act in the capacity
av horse block comminces to sag
an the first thing she knows she
is wearin' it an the box fer a
bracelit.e Nanny a man has come
home to find his Biddy in bid at
the nayboors wild a badly lassyrat-
ed shank. E. e. III.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1907-06-06
IAN av the most dangerous
pastimes man can ingage
himsilf wild is the rinovatin'

av shatoes; ESPECIALLY if he
worruks under the fancy Directions
av an inchanted wife. This is no
REFLECTION on the Countiss, do yez
mind, nor amy other Mary Ann,
fer it is we'll awthintycated fact
that mechanical jaynus in a fay
male is liss frayquintly NIT wild
than irish mate in a hamburger-if
such rhetorical figure can ade-
quately ixpriss it's total absince.
Outside av the millinery traffic
all fimynine attimpts to civilly
ingineer annythin' are more to be
pltied than ensured, because whin
an absintminded Biddy drives
nails an drames av her first hus-
band, synchronically, there is no
tillin' whittier her malaprop ma
mowers will sit the house on fire or
only room the plaster. Fer in
stance take the late Grogan ca
tastrophe which raycintly happened
a short time ago. Ye see, Mrs.
Grogan, wishin, to hang the motty
"Pity the Blind" above the arched
dureway in the parlor, clumb on
the apix av stlp ladder an pro-
sayded to drive a spike wild an
Imply pop bottle. Sivinteen times
she raised her arrum an sivinteen
times it, nonchalantly, desinded all
over the immaydiate vicinity to the
utter surprise av the nail. "Ye
ungrateful baste!' says she stamp
in her fut an closin' her eyes, ''ye
will dodge. will ye? Take that an
this an those an" Crash! "Trip!
bang! it whit provin' vance more
that the third time is charm.
Yis, she bit the nail alright, but
slid backwards down the ladder on
her face reachin' the fure joost as
a Eve gallon jar, which little Din.
ny an Napoleon wur playln' mar
bles wild, rolled past. 'Tiz said
that "those who sit on rid-hot
stoves shall rize again. an whin
the bind av Mrs. Grogan's knees
collided wild the stone can, she
also rose, drivin' her fate thru q
bay windy wild resharshanisf
that ginerated iverythin' but
smoke.
Avcoorse there are certain phases
av the game-like moppin' furei
an squirtin' hot wather on bid
stids-where fimynine aisyly
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1907-06-06
Muldoon on House Cleaning.

soopercades a man. but whin it
comes to negotiatin' stairways wild
luke warm cook stoves, or carryin'
pickle barrels full av oleanders
thru livery room in the house, up
in the attic an down in the ciller
widout spillin' thin, it requires a
worrukin' knowledge az CIVILIZED
ingineerin' not to mintion all
kinds av mooscle.
| Durin' the airly spring in Indi-
amy, whin the robins commince
to moult an the snakes change
their skin. livery hired CURL, widout
a union card, is complied to clane
the house, an in the rooral sictions
the barn, under the plnalty av
hovin' her doilies-whativer thin
are-kicked out in the road. Me
attintion waz first called to this
barbarity be Psyche Casey, who
used to worruk fer Fairbanks but
now holds the job av walkin' dilly-
gate fer the dill pickle packers
union av the twinty. eighth. If
Psyche hadn't rayfused to curry
the cow she wod now be waitin'
on the table in Washington wild
the ultimate prospects av chasin'
microbes around the White House
in 1909.
Now I don't behave in women
doin' worruk av this kind; not be-
cause they are more dillycate than
man, fer they're not, but because
they hurt thimsilves an crayate
an UNNECESSARY ixpinse. The only
tools the average faymale uses to
clane house wild are hair pins, sis
sors, spoons an clothes brushes
which parylize boogs, pull tacks,
unscrew hinges an pound nails
respectively. Usually they CON-
mince on Monday mornings be
carefully placin' the pictures, par
lor furniture an crazy quilts in the
froont yard an THROWN iverythin'
ilse in the back yard in wan pile.
| Whin the ould man comes home
fer lunch they hand him box av
crackers and piece av chaze that
tastes like soap an smills worse
The poor divil sits on nail kig
an ates like horse, drinkin' tay
out av a stoo pan an scratchip
hissilf while his diminted Biddy
tells him all about a mist full ay
moth bawls she found in the guist
chamber. She hints that the last
guist-who ginerally is a relation
Law the ould man-waz Unlisted
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1907-06-06
Diet Us. Longevity.

1t has become quite fad of
late for "pencil pushers," when
they can think of nothing else to
write about, to sit down and write
two or three columns telling you
what to eat, how much to eat, and
how to eat it. Most of them favor
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1907-06-06

Judge-Prisoner, have you any
thing to say to the court before
sentence is pronouncedf Pris-
oner-I beg the court to consider
the youth Of my attorney.-White
and Black.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1907-06-06

vegetable diet, thorough masti-
cation and such q small amount
that laboring man would starve
in a short time If confined
to the prescribed diet and CON-
PEELED to do as much manual labor
as he did when he followed the
dictates OF his own palate.
1t may be all right to prescribe
a light vegetable diet for brain
workers and some of the SO. called
idle rich, who have no brains to
work; but when we prescribe the
same diet for all people, under all
conditions of activity and climate,
there's something wrong with our
think tank.
Now let us compare the effect of
various diets on different races of
mon and animals. When people
we're gold crazy about the Klon-
dixie, men who had been used to
mixed diet all their lives, rushed
for the yellow metal in a country
where the natural food of the
natives was meat, the greater part,
If not the whole of the year. The
result was that great many of
them were afflicted with disease
called scurvy. [ am not informed
whether scurvy is common dis
ease among the Indians of that
region, but [ suppose it is not. 1
never saw an Eskimo, but I under
stand that their principle article
of food is blubber of the various
Arctic animals and fish, and that
they live as long and are as healthy
with the exception of skin dis
eases AS are people who live
under more favorable conditions.
However, the skin diseases may be
caused by their habit of not BATH
ing. II don't believe 1 would care
to swim in ice water either.
The Indians in the northern
part of this state eat large
amount of meat, and I have seen
them eat meat that was in an adj
yanced stage of qualification. And
fish that were frozen to death in
the lakes are sometimes collected
in the spring and eaten. They
are in no sense temperate eaters,
but I have known several who
claimed to be over a hundred years
old. All savages may be described
as gluttonous eaters, tho it is
difficult to ascertain the average
age of those who do not die from
accident.
Now let us look at the animal
world. Carnivorous animals eat
all they can hold when they can
get it, and often fast for several
days. They cannot be said to
chew their food, as they tear it off Z
in pieces as large as they can
swallow, using the molars merely
to bruise it into shape that may
be swallowed with greater facility.
It is we'll known fact, I think,
that carnivorous animals as a
whole, are longer lived than her.
bivorous animals. The gorilla is
herbivorous. Du Chaillu describes
the gorilla as a heavy feeder with
a large distended abdomen. It is
not known that the gorilla is longer
lived than other apes or monkeys.
True, monkeys and apes are longer
lived than most herbivorous
animals; but it is also true that a
great many of them eat birds, eggs,
insects, etc., in addition to their
vegetable diet.
Horses and the like are heavy
feeders. They are also herbivo-
rous; but they are short lived as
compared to man. I could go on
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1907-06-06
Remember tbe Poor
Unknown Hutbor.

WHEN the twilight shades were falling,
Ger chapel old and dim,
And the sweet-voiced choir were singing
Soft and low, the vesper hymn,
Stood stranger, cold and hungry,
Knocking at the rich mans door,
And he heard the surly answer,
we have nothing for the poor.
But little heart was quickened
And a child voice cried in glee,
"Take these pennies was saving
For the heathens DER the sea.
Twas trife that she gave him,
But it saved man from SIM
AS the music from the chapel
Sank to depths his soul within,
And he saw as in a vision,
Dreams of boyhood's happy home,
Ere beggar and an outcast
Thru the streets he had to roam.
Saw again the water rushing
Thru the wheel that turned the mill,
And the morning glories twining
Ground the cottage on the hill.
Time sped on, with airy pinions,
And unto a maiden fair,
Came one day priestly stranger,
Proud of mien, with silvered hair,
Daughter, be thou my confessor;
am he-the beggar knave;'
And he kissed the hand that saved him
From a heathens 1owly grave,
''By the garb that now enfolds me,
Swear 1, with uplifted eyes,
To befriend the poor and lonely,
Till this heart in nature dies. -