davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08
NOTES AND NOTIONS.
From the Baltimore American
WHERE SUCH THINGS BE.

CIew observations are reported on the
planet Mars)
Learned men have found perfection
On Mars
Sort Of Eden resurrection,
on Mars:
Where they're very enterpr.sins,
Up % every new devislng,
Have no popular uprising.
On Mars
They build canals capacious
on Mars
With no change OF jobs rapacious
ON Mars,
They just 90 20 work and dig 'em,
And with politics don't league 'em.
But for general commerce rig 'em,
on Mars.
They haven't trusts and corners
on Mars.
Nor grow UCys.mistiC mUurucrs
ON Mars,
They've no use for smart muck-rakers.
Phoney bets there get no takers.
Never heard Of uaturC-fakers
On Mars.
You can't find chronic grumblers
On Mars.
There're no kicl.ers and no numbers
On Mars;
What they can't help. they don't mind II
Where there's cure they fast bind If,
Lonely. folks on earth would find It
ON Mars
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08
A MuddIed Strnfegist.

From the New York sun
The accomplished Mr.. Loeb talks like
the chairman Of board Of strategy.
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08
With 7. r.. Jr.. as Commander.

From the New York Sun.
How would IL answer to send the Sylph
around into the Pacific and let the naval
mdyement go at that for the PRESENT.
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08

The President thinks that the drift Of
the farm boy to the city is a menace to
the republic. It certainly is a menace
to the firm
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08

Mr.. Taft refers TO certain structures
upon the present administration as "a It's
sue of falsehood." He is slowly but sure
" showing fine Presidential form.
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08

The mere fact that English girls ex-
pect 10 be winked ar with the left eve,
If at ALL spells nothing IN particular.
The question is: Is the soda water prop
erly d0ctOred?
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08

From the Springfield Republican.
There could be no rational criticism OF
a quiet. transformations Strengthening of
the American naval force in the Pacific
No power could protest against the send
ing. one by one, at intervals Of some bat
tie ships from the Atlantic 20 our Pacific
coast. and that Japan would not protest
is evident from the apparent fact that
her government has the self-Control TO
refrain from manifestations Of alarm over
the garish performance thai IS now con-
tempiated by our government. It is not
too late for the President TO modify the
grandiose dimensions Cf the proposed
cruise and demonstration. and adopt the
policy of rational reinforcement without
thunder and lightning stage setting.
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08
Automobile Note.

From the S. Louis Republic.
Il is the one-cylinder intellect running
on its low speed that makes the most
noise
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08

Senator Daniel said two months ago
that he was hunting a plan upou whicn
all Democrats could agree. Apparently
he is still hunting.
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08

May was the wettest month Of the year
In Texas, so the weather sharps declare,
Notwithstanding the fact that it was then
that Houst0ns new ia was screwed down
tightest.
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08

The announcement has been made that
the prospective 'possum crop IS % be the
greatest the South has ever known. as a
direct result Of protective legislation
Glass legislation. too. isn't Il?
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08
EnmIIinr T,rndAIe-

Yes. sir; an all-wise Providence has
hands"
Hello, Dingbat! When did you come
into money!"
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08
What's I'm a Name.

I'VE have no toadyism in America"
Nor"
NO; we call it respect for the Office"
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08
4 Poet nith Corrnge

We Ike a man who takes pride in his
work. who is not affected by that false
modesty which leads to the hiding under
bushels Of lights which, by rights, should
be Illuminating the dark places in the
world. Not long ago we had occasion to
refer 20 certain near-pOets who were
anxious to have their products appear in
the public prints. but only on condition
that their names be withheld One of
them, TO be sure. presented some reasons
for anonymity which were interesting.
though wholly unconvincing, and in order
to be absolutely fair, we presented his
side OF tho matter at issue.
No such circumlocution IS necessary in
the case Of Mr.. o. s. Saxet. OF 1887 Irving
street northwest, this city. Mr.. Saxet
has that pride Of authorship which should
be a part Of the makeup OF every self
respecting writer. When he produces a
poem he does not hesitate one moment to
alix his signature 20 it, and have name
and verses appear together in type. He
has just sent rs his latest work. entitled
Theodore" which we take great pleas
ure In placing before our readers. It fol-
lows.
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08

\ careful retrospective view indicates
that the ohstrcperOus June weather in no
manner impaired or damaged the June
bride crop.
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08

a South Dakota widower advertised for
a wife, stIpulating that she must be
dumb. Doubtless ne will find when he
gets her that she knows some satisfac-
tory way % cypress herself
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08

Abe Hummel may or may not write
a book There is no doubt about his be-
ing the custodian Of a large collection Of
family skeletons. however.
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08
Thntta Inherent

How do YOU think proft-sharinl
scheme would strike my employees DO
Fine. But stop"
"Weu?"
HAS it a loss-sharing attachment
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08

A scientist has discovered a cheap sub
stitute for rubber. The rubbcr-neck can
not be made Of cheaper material. how
ever,
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08

'UnwTittcn law was horn in hearts Of yo-e
One Ulie Of Washington We nov adore
Your WcTi that qgickuus his cf long ago
Augaeu.s charm shat makes Us love you 50
We feel the heart Of Washington quite finn
IN yCurs opposing that future third term"
While we do not feel It incumbent on
ourselves TO submit an opinion as TO the
merits Of the argument which Air. Saxet
thus sets forth. We must compliment him
upon bis style and his complete willing
ness to assume responsibility for every
thought and every sentiment which he ex-
presses in his verses. We know a great
many poets who might emulate him in
both respects with beneficial results to
themselves and 10 the public. We COM
mend him 10 all our friends, both IS a
fearless, outspokea man and a writer of
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08

A scientist says the black stork Is only
found in Asia. Surely, there must be
few in Africa.
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08

New York has organized a Society for
the Spread Of Good Manners. Nowhere
on this earth could such a society find
"a more expansive field Of endeavor than
the mctrnn0lis.
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08
Brown to ConstantinopIe.

A deserved promotion Is that Of Philip
IT, Brown, secretary Of the American
legation iu Guatemala and Honduras.
who is 20 be secretary Of the embassy at
Constantnople. During the illness Of
Minister Lee, Mr. Brown was in charge
of the Central American legation. He
was given a diplomatic appointment 10
Roumania some time ago. but the ueces-
s.ty of remaining in Guatemala City lost
him the place. as the State Department
could not keep IT open. He commenced
his diplomatic career as second secretary
OF legation at Constatinoplo. under LLOYD
.C. Grisc0m. seven years ago, so that his
most recent appointment will take him
back TO a post with the duties Of which
he IS already familiar.
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08

A Chicago woman swears her husband
has been drunk 23Sf ines IN ten years.
The last decade Of that fellows life
must seem 10 him like one long-drawn-
out dream OF pink snakes and onion
brown alligat0rs.
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08

The Hon. Hoke Smith was inaugurated
In the open air. thus permitting room for
some one besides Hoke and the chief jus-
tice 20 witness the ausDicious ceremony.
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08
A MISCHIEV0US MANEUVER.
Various Newspaper Views of the
Battle ship Fleet Movement.

From tre Nrw York Sun.
Already the Pacific enterprise. whatever
IL may really have been. Is hopeIessly en-
tangled fin the ridiculous. II IS variousIy
represented now as an Insignificant voy-
age Of practice, which might equally De
directed 10 the Mediterranean or the
South Atlantic. as an object lesson Of
the future value Of the Panama Canal;
as an incentive 10 liberal appropriations
for b8ttle-ship construction. as q display
for the benefit OF those Inhabitants Of
the Slope who don't get a chance TO see
many Of our fine war vessels, as spec
tacular sequel 10 Secretary Roots bened-
cent voyage around South America. and
as a f8r-sighted attempt TO impress a
friendly Oriental neighbor with the ex-
tent and preparedness Of our naval re-
sources.
In the aforementioned aspect Il would
have been entirely legitimate if pursued
IN silence or with a frank avowal Of the
purpose. and in either case il would
perhaps nave been welcomed by the not
uDinteligeut nation FOR whose instruc-
tiou 1t was designed, but promoted under
a false explanation. or under irrecon-
Cilable explanations from official sources.
it becomes AT the same time preposterous
and exceedingly misChievOus in its pos
sibilties-3s mischievous. perhaps. as any
thing in o. long succession of hair-trigger
policies.
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08

English swelis are said 70 wear their
hair in nets in order 90 keep the newly
prescribed Crimp In. No wonder the suf-
fragettes of that land are q strenuous lot.
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08

a Kansas City woman sueezed so hard
in her swcethearts presence that she dis
located her neck. Kansas men are not
TO be sneczed at these DAYS
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08

The new Chinese Minister IS said 10 De
fine tennis player lie should have DO
trouble catching or" 70 the diplomatic
racket IN this country.
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08
- n. LanI.rIIle co.rl.--IonrnaL

From the Louisville Coarie--Journal
It is extremely unfortunate that a mere
matter OF detail I'm the routine Of naval
management should be the subject Of so
much public discussion and vested with
a significance through indiscreet repre-
sentations which il is now found neces-
sary 20 correct with such pronounced
official disclaimer. There is no reason
why we should not have strong naval
force in the Pacific. There is not a bat
tie ship in those waters. the last having
been withdrawn about a year ago We
have no need of them in the Atlantic
waters and If our government regarded
il expedient 10 send n squadron there
or elsewhere for diversity of service, or
whatever object. it should do so without
explanation much less with the SEM
banCe of apology
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08

"schmltz was a king Of grafters." says
a contemporary. A king IN the discard
now. however
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08

Tributc to Bcrnnrd shaw.
From the London Outlook.
He has drunk Of the waters Of eternal
immaturity,
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08

a Pennsylvania woman burned her hus-
band and then gIoated over her deed.
Roasting is the usual process.
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08

The governor Of Tabasc1 clamors for
Mexican Intervention in Guatemala.
Looking for hot time, as usual
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08

However. Joaquin AIiuars candidacy
for the Senate may be merely q little
joaq.
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08
From tire New York World.


Mr.. Roosevelt is in duty bound TO take
into consideration the state of public
opinion in Japan no less than the state
of public opinion on the Pacific Coast.
A statesman has no moral right 20 throw
a match into the tinder and pretend that
be had no intention of starting a fire.
There is no reason known to sensible
government or sensible diplomacy why
the battle ships should be sent to the Pa
cifc. Their presence might revive some
Of Secretary MetCalCs WithCrod pOlit.Ca,
laurels at home. Their presence might
even exercise no little influence upon the
complexion of the California delegation to
the next Republican national convention.
But is Mr.. Roosevelt going 10 set the
hounds Of sensatonalism and race hatred
bayiug again for such an object as this?
one simple, plain duty now confronts
the President. 1t is 20 announce Off
ciaIly authoritatively, fatty, and posi-
lively that the North Atlantic fleet will
not be sent 20 the Pacific.
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
A FRIENDLY STEER.


Lady Clara We're de We're,
Please accept a little steer.
You should don
Elbow gloves when they grow warm.
II they heat each pretty arm,
Take 'em off.
DO not make a wTistlet love,
OF your lengthy elbow glove.
Gloves worn so,
Lady Clara We're de We're.
Far from beautiful appear,
Don't you know?
Only use your gloves as such
And you will oblige US much.
Wristlets. dear.
Are all right for winter wear;
But in summer, declare,
They are queer.
Can't Afford Oysters.
why did Rockefeller dodge around so
to avoid those subpoena servers?"
Probably felt that he couldn't afford
that trip TO Chicago"
In Arkansaw.
Il hear Bill is dead"
Yes; but he died happy"
1T was snakcbite, heyt"
ON Vacation.
'Tis sweet 20 watch the wavelets wet
By breezes swept,
And for a little while forget
The ribbon dept
That's Different.
How do you think proft-sharing
scheme would strike my employees F'
Fine. But stop!"
"Well?"
HAS it a loss-sharing attachment
What's I'm n Name.
we have no toadyism in America"
Nor"
NO; we call it respect for the Office"
Familiar TwGddIe.
Yes. sir: an all-wise Providence has
placed the finances Of our nation in safe
hands"
Hello, Dingbat! When did you come
into money!"
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08
S.Es.r;n.inn R,.,, hr Mil.

Nsw York Office. Nasssu-Beekmaa Bldg. LsCoste Il
Maxwell. Managers
Chicago Office. Marquette Bldg. LaCosts & Max
vel. Managers
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08
On Nncnfinn.

'Tis sweet 20 watch the wavelets wet
By breezes swept,
And for a little while forget
The ribbon dept
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08

"As a native Mississippian I am great
~ interested in the race for the Senate
between Representative Williams and
Gov vardaman,' said Mr. Harry Pay
ton. well-known attorney, who has but
recently returned from the south
MY observation while away was that
Mr.. Williams is gaining IN strength. and
that he will be the victor in a hard
fought battle. The minority leader in
Congress has for his supporters the best
people In his State. the educated. think
ing. conservative class that appreciates
his pre-eminent fitness and recognizes
the fact that it would be a blow 70 Mis-
sissippi to lose the public services Of a
man who in every way is the peer of any
statesman of this epoch, no matter from
what section he may hail.
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08

The Washington HercId is delivered by
carrier in the District Of Columbia aad at
AIerandria. Va, at s. eeats per month,
dailv and Sunday. or az 25 cents per
month lrifh0ut The Sundqr issue.
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08
Can't Afford Oysters.

why did Rockefeller dodge around so
to avoid those subpoena servers
Probably felt that he couldn't afford
that trip 10 Chicago"
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08
THE WASHINGTON HERALD

Telephone Main $500. (Priv.rs Braneh E4ehauts)
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08

Anglo Russian agreement With the
agreements she has already concluded, It
would mean that Great Britain had 50
cleared the skies of possible war clouds
that a great impetus might be given to
the movement for reduction of arma-
ments.
An irate Pennsylvania arises, even this
late in the day. to say that the capitol
graft was Just common stealing" And
stu the impression prevails In many
quarters that It was decidedly uncommon
stealing.
The State authorities Of Kansas have
ordered the militia into camp at a spot
utterly inaccessible TO horses and buggics
What DO the officials think the soldiers
want 20 wear brass buttons for, If She
girls cannot drive out and see them on
dress parade?
Mr. Taft refers to certain structures
upon the present administration as "a tis-
sue of falsehood He is slowly but sure
ly showing fine Presidential form.
The President thinks that the drift OF
the farm boy to the city is a menace to
the republic. It certainly is a menace
to the farm.
May was the wettest month Of the year
In Texas, so the weather sharps declare.
Notwithstanding the fact that it was then
that Houstons new ia was screwed down
tightest.
A scientist says the black stork Is only
found in Asia. Surely, there must be
few in Africa
a South Dakota widower advertised for
a wife, stIpulating that she must be
dumb. Doubtless ne will find when he
gets her that she knows some satisfac-
tory way TO express herself
The announcement has been made that
the prospective 'possum crop IS 20 be the
greatest the South has ever known. as a
direct result Of protective legislation.
Glass legislation. too, isn't IL?
The mere fact that English girls ex-
pect 10 be winked ar with the left eve,
If at an, spells nothing in particular
The question IS: Is the soda water prop
erly doctored?
\ careful retrospective view indicates
that the ohstrcperous June weather in no
manner impaired or damaged the June
bride crop.
The Hon. Hoke Smith was inaugurated
In the open air. thus permitting room for
some one besides HolIe and the chief Jus
tice 70 witness the ausDiCious ceremony.
English swells are said 70 wear their
hair in nets in order 90 keep the newly
prescribed crlmp In. No wonder the suf-
fragettes Of that land are "a strenuous lot
a Kansas City woman sueezed so hard
in her swcethearts presence that she dis
located her neck. Kansas men are not
TO be sneezed at these days.
a Pennsylvania woman burned her hus-
band and then gloated over her decd
Roasting is the usual process.
However. Joaquin 4ullers candidacy
for the Senate may be merely q little
joaq.
The new Chinese Minister IS said 10 Dc
a fine tennis player lie should have DO
trouble catching on % the diplomatic
racket IN this country.
"schmltz was a king Of grafters." says
contemporary. A king IN the discard
now. however.
The governor Of Tabasc1 clamors for
Mexican Intervention in Guatemala
Looking for hot time, as usual
A Chicago woman swears her husband
has been drunk 2.34 ines IN ten years
The last decade Of that fellows life
must seem 10 him like one long-drawn-
out dream OF pink snakes and onion
brown allig0tOrs.
Abe Hummel may or may not write
a book. There is no doubt about his be-
The Washington herald., 1907-07-08

90 fair tomuT-T what CUT S-1s have missed
Ar- though NOT sasrirE for u.s. z1u5rhere still!
The binds # promise thar have never blown
Tie tender Hr~ that ve have never ki=sei-
Tie song whose high. sweet strain o,rlcs gu- skill
Tie enc white p.arl that li'a hath never known"
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1907-03-24
DISARMAMENT
ENGLISH EDITOR WANTS TEDDY
TO PUT ASIDE THE BIG
STICK

London, March 30 M. T. Stead,
the English editor, will sail on the
steamer Caronia on March 26, for
New York to attend the inaugura-
ton of the Carnegie institute at
Pittsburg, April 18th, and the Ma
tional Arbitration and Peace con-
gress at Carnegie Hall, New York,
April 16. During his stay in Amer
lea Mr.. Stead, who after a conference
with Premier Campbell Bannerman
and Foreign Secretary Gray. recently
made tour Of the capitals of Eu-
rope in the interest of bringing up
the question of national disarma-
ment at the Hague peace conference,
expects to see President Roosevelt
and other prominent men and to
ascertain their views regarding dis
armament. 81
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1907-03-24
JOE BURTON GETS An OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES LOSES MANY CITIES
NCafaguans Aided by HOnduran Insurgents, Win Big Bat
tie Which Comes Near Cleaning Up Honduras Capt.
tal-.-AmefiCan Soldier Of Fortune Captured
Associated Press to Bismarck Tribune

Associated Press to Bismarck Tribune l
Managua, Nicar., March 233sAd-
vices received here from the front
today say that the army of Presi
dent Bonilla of Honduras, has been
attacked and defeated near Mar
citi ( Mariata) by Honduras revolu-
tionists and the Nicaraguan army.
after ten hours hard fighting. Bon-
illass troops. left behind them their
camp equipment, artillery rifles and
ammunition.
Among the prisoners captured by
the Honduras Nicaraguan forces
are General setero Barahona. the
Honduran minister of war, who is
severely wounded; General Christ
mas, the American soldier formerly
of Memphis, Tenn, and other leading
officers Of the Honduran forces.
Many were killed or wounded on
both sides but no details of the
engagement are available owing to
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1907-03-24
)l)|yKEIEERS
SECRETARY TAFT AND NOTABLE
PARTY LEAVE FOR PANAMA,
cuRA AND PoRroRfco
ssociated Press to bismarck Tribune

\ Associated Press to bismarck Tribune
hington, p. i, March % Sec
rotary Taft and his party left Wash
fngton today for Charleston, S. e..
where they will board the MayhoWer
and proceed to the Isthmus sc Pana-.
ma, Cuba and Porto Rico, and return.
to Washington in about a month. The
secretary of war has an important
mission to each OF the points to be-
visited, the chief Of which is an IN
estigation and inspection of canal
affairs, but Of no less public interest
are matters pertaining to the political
futures OF Cuba and Porto Rico.
which will receive his attention.
q addition TO Secretary TAFT, the
party consists Of Frederick i. stearns
Of Boston. Alfred Noble Of New, " ork
and John Ripley Freeman Of Proyyi.
5dence, Senator Kittredge 81
South Dakota; Repre- sentatives Bur.
ton Of Ohio, and De Almond 81 Mis-
sour; Richard r. Rogers, general SIC,
counsel Of the Isthmian canal COM
mission and Wentley W. Misel1ler.
conf Dental clerk 70 Secretary TAFT.
Rogers will leave the party at The
Isthnlais remaining there to attend to
matters il come tion with the legal
department Of the commission.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1907-03-24
ssociated Press to Bismarck Tribune

Associated Press to Bismarck Tribune
New York, March The attor-
neys for Harry e. Thaw today fled
an answer to the suggestion made
BY District Attorney jerome to
Justice Fitzgerald that Thawi is
mentally incapable Of understanding
the nature Of the proceedings
against him and is a subject for 4
commission in lunacy rather than
for jury which holds only the
power Of liberty Or death. Supple
menting their own unanimous
opinion that ThaB does unde rstand
the nature Of the proceedings
against him and daily advises in
telligently with his counsel, the
lawyers have fled affidavits from
the medical experts employed BY the
defense and d further affidavit BY
Mrs. William ThaW mother of the
defendant
Mrs. ThaW however. does not adj
dress herself to the question inmed-
lately at issue. She takes advan-
tage Of the opportunity, she de-
elares, TO state that ia the direct line
of descent for four generations
there has been no taint Of insanity
or epilepsy II the prisoners family.
She resents the ma iciius misrep-
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1907-03-24
GIVEN FEED
BRITAIN's AMBASSADOR GIVEN a.
SQUARE" BY PILGRIM SOCIETY q
AT NEW YORK

y n 5F 3 t. IS 4
New York, March %. James Bryce,
the British ambassador, made his first
official appearance before an American
audience as the guest tonight of the
Pilgrim society at a dinner at the
Waldorf Astoria
There was less, perhaps. of what
Joseph H. Choate. in opening the
international love feast, E described
as Glands across the sea- oratory,
than is usually heard at the Pilgrim
dinner and the tendency was to pay per
sonal tributes to the statesman as an
author who many years ago made the
acquaintance of Americans and can
didly set forth his impression in print.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1907-03-24
They Will FORCE PEACE

two neighboring republics have in
itiated and showed how close the
relations between Mexico and the
United States have become. Mr..
Roots toast followed toasts proposed
by Mr.. Creel to the presidents if the
United States and Mexico and to the
American Secretary of State. The
sentiment suggested by the secre-
tary of state was received with great
enthusiasm by the Mexican ambas-
sador's guests and the small dinner
party became affair of internation-
al significance. s5: