The Washington herald., 1907-09-15

The English sense q humor. OFT ma
Ilmod. IS being vindCated. and from
among the common people is springIng
nation Of jokers that are not 10 be ex-
cellel. even bv the Irish illustrated Bits.
a London publication, noted more for Its
good material than for It's great size.
has been Offering prizes for the best short
stories sent IN by !ts readers and IS meet
ing with great response. Some Of the
/ specimens are found below. DO you
recognize any Of them?
Podgers was an old man who was just
getting over an attack Of rheumatic
fever. during which his wife had been
in the habit of sitting by HIS bedside
90 comfort him, and often shed tears at
his evident suffering. When he was con-
vaIescent he met one OF his friends, who
asked
How are you getting on, Podgers7'
"Oh. badly. Don't seem to make much
progress. and il IS all because OF my
wife"
Dear me, you surprise me, -Podgers.
She seems such a devoted nurse"
"Ah. you don't know her. man! The
doctor always said that damp room
was the very worst thing for me. and
that woman used TO sit and cry Just 10
make the air damp
A certain mOther-in-law had stayed so
often with her daughter as TO cause
quarrel with the husband. and one day.
when she again came to stay. she found
her daughter in tears on the doorstep.
7 suppose George has left you. she
shifted "Yes'-sob. Then there's a
woman IN the case7" she asked, her
eyes lighting up expectantly. Yes
sob. VINO is it?" she demanded. You
sob. "Gracious!" exclaimed the mother
in-law. 7 am sure I never gave him any
encouragement"
At one Of the safeguards a gentleman
observed a disqualified jockey and a
horse dealer haggIlng over the sale OF a
horse. Full Of curiosity when the two
separated, and anxious to know how
two such shrewd characters had bar
gained, the gentleman called the jockey
to him. and inquired how much he had
got for his animal,
The jockey opened his hand. and show
ed a sovereign and q form,
But isn't that very cheap?"
NO" said the Jockey; ''he's dead
lame"
The gentleman then sought the dealer,
and said;
so you've given twenty-five shiIings
for lame horse?"
The dealer laid his finger on his nose,
and said:
Lame! He's as sound as you are;
saw be was badly she'd, and only limped
in consequence"
The inquirer returned to the Jockey
and reported what the dealer had said
The former gave a tremendous and sig
nifcant wink. and whispered:
He's as lame as a two-legged stool
had him badly shod on purpose to make
them believe that that was the cause Of
his limping"
When this was communicated to the
dealer he seemed for the moment taken
aback, and hung his head; then. with a
little sigh and a shrug Of his shoulders,
he said, quietly:
"Ahl well; it's all right-it was bad
sovereign"
A Scottish tourist, wandering about the
streets OF Paris at some distance from his
hotel found himself In a strange neigh
borhood, and, 10 make things worse.
he failed. through. ignorance of the Ian
guage, to get any one to guide him home
ward. Then a happy thought struck
him. By dtnt OF signs he concluded
bargain with fruit haBker for q basket
ful OF gOoseberries, and then, 10 the
amazement OF everybody, he went about
shouting: Fine Scotch grossets! A
nennY O num- This went ON for q ,,rhfIn