The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-01-16
MARK ~TwAIN's, TWIN.
Hulnorist Does the .siamese Act at a
New Years Party. 80,

The last thing Mark Twain did in 1906
was to get drunk and deliver a lecture
on temperance, and the. first thing he
did in 1907 was to glory in the fact that
| he would be able to rejoice over other
dead people when he died in having
| been the first man to have telharmon-
| ium music turned on in his house-''lilSe
gas" ss II -
OF course Mark Twain did not really
get drunk any more than he delivered
a real lecture on temperance. He fIni-
lecturer al. one and the same time,
and took all the glory for the lecture
to himself while he blamed his Siamese
brother for the jagso ~. -.x
Those who have never heard that Mr.
Clemens has "a -StarReses brother. must
be told that fhe had such a relative for
one night only, and the occasion was
party given to a few friends in honor
of Miss Clemens, at the authors home.
The, score or so of guests who had
passed. the evening r playing charades
Mr.. Clemens enter the drawing room
on to the little stage, at II 80, dress
ed in the white suit he wore recently
on Pennsylvania avenue, Washington.
came a young gentleman whom the
author introduced to the company as
his Siamese brother. The two had
their arms about each other, and their
pink ribbon supposed to represent
lfgature. Twain was rather short and
broad and his hair was snow white.
His brother was very tall and very
slight and had black hair. 1t was easy
to see that they were brothers. Mark
remarked on the close resemblance al
most as soon as he came into the
room.
I'VE come from afar," said Mark. 1--WE
come from very far; very far, in
deed-as far as New Jersey. We are
in this country long. enough to know
something of your customs, and we
have learned as much of your language
as it is written and spoke as-well-
as the newspapers. s
ave are so much TO each other, my
brother and 1, that what I eat nourish-
es him, and what he drinks-ahem.-
nOurishes me. often eat when I don't
really want to because he is hungry,
and, of course, I need hardly tell you
that he often drinks when I am not
thirsty.
II am sorry to say that he is a con-
firmed consumer of liquor-liquor, that
awful, awful curse-while I, from prin-
ciple, and also from the fact that I
don't like the taste, never touch
drop"
Mark then went on to say that he
had been asked to take up the temper
ance cause and had done so with great |
success, taking his brother along as a |
horrible example.
''It has often been source of con-
siderable annoyance to. me, wnen going |
about the country lecturing on temper
procession of white-ribbon people-so
drunk 1 couldn't see," he said. But 1
am thankful to say that my brother
has reformed" a+
At this point the Siamese brother sur
reptitiousiy took drink out of flask. |
HE hasn't touched drop in three
years"
Another drink.
"He never will touch a DROP
Another drink.
THANK God for that"
Several drinks.
"And If, by exhibiting my brother to
you, can save any of you people here
from the horrible curse of the demon |
rum Mark fairly howled. IT shall be
Just then apparently some of the rum
Or the influence of it. got through the
pink ribbon Mark hiccoughed several
times.
''Zish is wonderful REFORM
Another drink.
''Wonder'l form we are gagged in"
GLORIOUS work-we doin glorious
work. Best work ever
done, my brother and work of reform,
reform work, glorious work. I don't
feel JUS right
The company by this time was hys-
terical with laughter.-New York