The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-03-04
washington starr

washington starr
One evening, a week OF so before
New Year. Mr.. Jobson locked up from
his Star-paper and gazed fixedly at
Mrs. Jobson.
Here's a receipt for eggnog that
sounds pretty good to me- he said
Why don't we ever have any eggnog
in this plant around the holidays. any
how Seems to me like it's been a mill
lion years since I've tasted eggnog.'
We'll, replied Mrs. Jobson, you
know the time you got sick from drink
/ ing eggnog. ten or twelve years ago.
you declared that you'd never touch 1t
again as long as you lived. and forbade
me to have any of it in the house. and
of course I thought"
Got SICK from drinking eggnog?"
broke in Mr.. Jobson. with an express
sion of the most intense surprise on his
/ race. Who, me? Are you talking of
me?"
Why. my dear" observed Mrs. job
son. certainly l am talking of you, and
surely you must remember how"
never got sick from drinking egg
nog IN this house, or in any other house
! N the whole course Of my natural life"
I sternly cut In Mr.. Jobson. ''and I wish,
madam. that you would be good enough
10 rid yourself Of this habit of fasten
/ ing on to me everything that you ever
/ heard Of as happening to other people.
| Ne get sick from drinking eggnog? You
might Just as well say that last week
| got the bubonic plague. accompanied
/ by symptoms of elephantiasis, from
/ mlnghng too freely with the TagalOgs
/ i'm the province of Iloilo in the Philip
pines There'd be just about as much
sense and truth in that kind of a state
ment."
Well" weakly replied Mrs. Jobson.
/ you know eggnog is very sickening
stun if you take too much of it. and
on II is. is tiff you take too much
of it,? broke in Mr.. Jobson. ''The nat
uIal inference Is, then, that if we have
some New Year eggnog in this plant
/ III drink about fourteen gallons of it.
and jump through one of the front win
! dows, and try to kick the ears off two
or three policemen and lamplighters,
and show up on F street in an adj
vanced stage of delirium tremens. and
wind up in the police court, and get
sent from there to the workhouse hos
pltSl, imagining in my mania that I've
been changed into q hard-boile egg.
and that"
oh, I didn't get quite so far as
that. replied Mrs. Jobson, with a
soothing smile; but. really. there are
plenty of other holiday drinks that
would be so much better and that
wouldn't cloy like eggnog. Now, we
could have some nice cIaret punch. for
instance. and that
Yes. madam" rebuked Mr.. Jobson.
haughtily- and we could have some
nice cambria tea, or some nice sarsa-
parllla, or some nice weiss beer. or some
nice chocolate soda. or some nice pink
lemonade, or some nice vichy and milk,
OF some nice Hunyadi water, or some
nice onion and molasses syrup, or some
nice nut sundaeS. or some nice any
other old thing that you might frame
up with the deliberate purpose of flag
ging me from the idea of having the
thing that / want to have. But the
thing that | happen to want to have
Mrs Jobson. is eggnOg-e-g-g. egg,
hog, nog, eggnog. and that's what I'm
going to have. We're going to have a
little eggnog celebration in this plant
on New Year eve. and that's what we're
going TO have. We're going to have a
whole lot of eggnog, too. I'm going to
make the eggncg myself. You won't
have to worry yourself about it, You
can go right on reading that great So
Geological work by the Duchess while
I'm engaged in the manufacture Of the
eggnog. You can invite Mr. and Mrs.
Kaystreet arousd here for New Year
Nt a nav q game OF GdTuS. and
sit up and wait for the advent of the
new year. and drink eggnog. I'm GO
ing to start something around this
plant and have a little fun Every
where turn in these papers find egg
nog mentioned. and yet there hasn't
been drop of eggnOg in this house for
a thousand years or so. I'll buy all the
materials myself and send EN- up here.
And I won't get sick, either Nobody
ever got sick since the beginning of the
world from drinking good milk mixed
with good liquor and good eggs. That's
just a little bugaboo of the kind you
enjoy springing every time I suggest
anything that'll make for a little pleas
ure around this camp
On the evening of Dec. 30. Mr.. Jobson
was as busy around the Jobson kitchen
as one-armed paperhanger. He had
all of his materials assembled ins the
kitchen for the manufacture OF egg
nog. He had brought all OF the ma
teriais home in a suit case. There were
four quartz of sterilized milk, a dozen
country eggs, two quarts of the best
whisky. quart Of the finest white rum
and two pounds of sugar.
Mrs. Jobson noticed the large amount