davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.

[From the Philadelphia Record.1
Time was made for slaves and con-
victs.
1t takes just as long to have your
hair cut short.
The fellow with a jag feels that he
is the reel thing.
A small comb could hardly be call
ed a toothsome morsel.
The dog with tin can tied to him
presents a tail of woe.
The fly fisherman can't hope for
much success casting reflections.
1t is impossible to go up a fight of
stairs without stepping on its foot.
You can't always make both ends
meet by stretching the imagination.
1t is possible to make light of your
rival and still throw him in the shade.
A man may feel that he is blessed
with many friends. but the friends
may feel differently.
Wigg-"What short legs that
dachshund has" Wagg-" Yes, arr
what long pants"
Harduppe-"I would bet my bottom
dollar on it," Wigwag-"You would
mt have to go very far down to do
that"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08
A FORTUNATE SETTLEMENT

The country will never know exactly
what it missed when the big railroad
strike, which was threatening a week
ago. was averted. but it can we'll get
along without the knowledge. It can
imagine enough, and it is exceedingly
lucky to escape actual information
acquired by experience.
One of the things it missed was in
creased congestion of traffic. Another
was probable stagnation of business,
resulting from that congestion. Still
another thing it missed was probable
riots, in which men would have been
injured and possibly killed. Another
thing 1t missed was the necessity OF
supporting $4,000 men IN idleness at a
time when the labor of every able
bodied man is needed. Another thing
that has been missed is suffering and
deprivation on the part of the families
of $4,000 strikers. Still another ex-
perience that the country missed was
the agitation and strife that always
accompanies a labor war.
What a blessing it is that these
things have been obviatedl What a
tremendous disaster to the country as
a whole as we'll as to those immediate
ly involved, would be a great railroad
strike!
The day of the strike is passing
Labor difficulties can be settled by
arbitration, if both parties are inclined
to be fair, and public sentiment today
is strong enough to compel both sides
to be fair. The employers or employees
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08

who would bring on a strike by re-
fusing to arbitrate or by refusing to
be fair in their demands and conces-
sions, would not have much standing
in the Court of Public Opinion, which
is really the most powerful tribunal in
the land.
1t is extremely fortunate for the
country, as well as for the railways
and their employees that the strike has
been avoided. Both sides made con-
cessions. The employees concerned
were, as a rule, men of high intel
ligence. They did not wish to strike
and they were willing to listen to res
son. The railway managers also were
anxious to avoid strike, and when
they appealed to the government to
artibtrate the differences involved,
there was no great difficulty in reach
ing a settlement, which, in the long
run. must be much more satisfactory
to both sides than a labor war would
have been.
Arbitration is the modern and the
sensible way of settling labor troubles.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08
GLOBE SIGHTS.

IFrom the Atchison Globe.]
You hear SC many wonderful things
that are not true.
A severe case of freckles is as hard
A boy is apt to waste everything ex-
cept something to eat.
Nearly every man has a worthless
relative who lives off of him.
Father usually imagines he is the
only really effective chaperon.
Every man is a great baby If he can
find the right one to cry to.
A hysterical woman is like loaded
gun: Mighty dangerous to handle.
A lot of trouble would be averted If
women feared men as much as they do
mice.
Some men imagine they are natural
leaders because they always want to
boss the job.
There are people who will bestow a
in boasting of it.
Sometimes a man wants thing so
much he forgets the owner doesn't
want to give it up.
We have noticed that in every con-
versatfon there is something about
finding out" people.
Every man is thought to be the best
looking man in the world by some
woman of poor taste.
Women are looking for rich hus-
bands: men are poor, too, and are
looking for rich wives.
The only reason some men don't
marry a second time is because they
don't have the chance.
Some people are like things to eat:
When you get too much of them you
never like them again.
What has Become of the old fash
toned girl who gave her lover a lock
of her hair for remembrance
This reporter met a farmer in a
grocery store at noon today. Instead
of going to a restaurant for his dinner,
the farmer had bought can of cove
oysters. Wont you have a can OF
oysters with me?" the farmer asked
the reporter.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08
THE HYPoCRTTE.

When Celia said that for her sake
/ must not take of wine,
My habit or her heart must break,
straightway drew the line
Yet not SO much for Celia,s sake
AS secretly for mine.
By grace of her I'm full of wit,
And SO the grape-what matters it?
1 gave 1t I'D because 1 won
A wine thereby so rare
That out Of all the vineyards none
Has yielded to compare
/ left it on because I won
The sparkling OF her hairi
BY grace of her feel my worth
Immortal on a mortal earth.
And Celia meantime loves to laud
MY exodus from vice,
ana does not guess me by the fraud
Intoxicated thrice
Watches in fact a little awed
The seeming sacrifice.
l wonder would she take amiss
confession of my wickedness?
-Witter Bynner in The Reader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08
PRACTICE IN PAINTINGS.

With rapidly increasing willingness
the administration parts with its Pana-
ma engineers. 1t felt so bad at Mr..
Wallace's resignation that it abused
him like a pickpocket for deserving
the post of duty. It accepted Shonts'
r signation with regret because it felt
that it ought to allow him to accept the
bigger salary offered him in New York
and 1t offered Mr.. Stevens resignation
to him. This teaches us how easily we
may grow accustomed to parting with
the things we value Observation-Disclosures
Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08
Nervous Bridegrooms.

"Bridegrooms are sometimes nerv-
Gus; brides never said the clergyman.
"a young butcher during his we'd
ding ceremony got horribly tangled up
with an unlighted cigar. He found
himself, in his nervousness, with the
cigar in his left hand when the solemn
rite began. To put the ring on the
brides finger he hurriedly transferred
the cigar to his right hand. When the
right hand came into play, in his con-
fusion he stuck the cigar in his mouth.
With both hands occupied, he looked
at me helplessly when he next had to
S 1io ,ook = Inc ciga1 lIoni ms pare
lone young man was SO nervous
when 1 married him that instead of
saying: I, John, take thee, Mary, to
be my lawful welded Wife he said,
loud enough to be heard all over the
church.: I, Mary, take thee, John, to
be my lawful welded wife ''-Ex-
change.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08

hail storms, and the aphis. and the
drouths, and various other calamities
do not scare Us to death before we
have time to harvest 1t, Kansas is like
ly to show the world another pretty
fair record in wheat-growing this year.
but, of course, we are not Dragging
about it
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08
EROT OTHER PENS
OUT OF ORDER

The health officers at Colon have
been giving Speaker Cannon some
points on parliamentary law. Indeed.
they have ruled him out of order"
But Mr.. Cannon's cigar still points de-
hantly at an angle of IS degrees toward
the sky, and his hat rests still grace
fully on his ear. Our uncle" can be
relied upon to pull through on his
splendid audacity. = Cincinnati En-
Quirer
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08
RACK no FIRsT PRINCIPLEs.

The alluring posters that were de-
signed to set forth the attractions of
the United States navy will no longer
hold the attention of the passer-by.
The government has given up billboard
advertising and will hereafter use the
columns of newspapers to exploit the
delights of naval life.-Cleveland Plain
Dailer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08
MISERY LOVES COMPANY.

AS nearly as can be ascertained, the
San Francisco supervisors received
$13,500 each in brides. in sums rang
ing from $500 TO $4,000, these repre-
senting the mites Ruef allowed them
from the several corruption funds.
However. enough went this way to pay
for furnishing capitol.-Philadelp
Ledger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08

In adding Mr.. Hartman to his list
of liars, President Roosevelt may pc 90
ing a grave injustice to some OF the
others on that list, although he has
~iyan them distinguished company.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08
FIJRNIsHED THE FUEL.

The PRESIDENT OF the Santa Fe rail-
road charges the public hostility to the
railroads to President Roosevelt, and
says that the president started a brush
fire that developed into a conhagration.
He neglects to mention the fact,
though. that the railroads supplied the
kindling. American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08

Is not this green bug that is caus-
ing trepidation IN the wheat belt just
now. the same individual os our OLD
friend, the aphis, who caused lot OF
nvorrx about seven years ago?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08

Jast as the Thaw case was about
TO end and people were beginning to
worry for fear the newspapers wouldn't
ind anything to I'LL up with that
letter of Harriman's was stolen. A
kind Providence always watches over
its own,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08

Senator Penrose explains that he has
<.lxvavs beer a firm friend of President
Roosevelt. OF course, of course. So
has Mr.. Hartman, and Mr.. Aldrich and
senator Foraker and number of
other gentlemen.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08

Horses also are to be protected from
cheap doctors in the future. After this
year a horse doctor VIII have to prove
that he knows his business. Kansas
does not propose to have good horses
killed BY any cheap grade of doctor.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08

''will w. W. Rose now subside 2"
asks the Lawrence Journal. But real
ly, does it make any difference wheth-
er he does or not. as long as the people
of Kansas City, Kan, have subsidized"
him
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08

President Roosevelt can evidently
=not a candidate for the Ananias club
the minute he reads one of the can
t,1idafe,s letters.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08

Mr.. Hearst does not appear to have
much success in electing mayors ex-
cept in San Francisco, and the ones ne
elects out there get indicted and lose
their influence.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08

ssWhere do I stand? ?" asks Mr..
Hartman in his letter to Sydney
webster. If Mr.. Hartman really
wishes to know, we might say that he
stands an extremely poor show of
making much Roadway with his fight
On the president.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08

A member of the German royal fam
fly is coming over to visit America
Perhaps he will do like other Germans
who come over, and settle down to stay.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08

Once more is emphasized the ad-
visibility of making public the sources
of campaign funds as well as the man.
ner in which they are expended
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08

Recent municipal elections in Okla
sorna show large Republican gains, and
oklahoma Republicans are letting on
that the territory was just joking wnen
ii went Democratic last fall.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08
GOOD WAY 70 BE sMALI,

There are various ways for man to
show how small he can be, but taking
a newspaper for a number of years and
then saying that he never subscribed
for it is about as good as any.-Wash-
ington Republican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08
WHERE SHE ExCELLED.


1t is a little funny that the partisan
press can always find much to admire
in the candidates of its party and much
to condemn in those of the opposition
Lebanon Argus.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08

Smith county reports wheat acre
age larger by 20 per cent than that of
last year, along with excellent crop
conditions. If the green bug, and the
Henaan fly. and the floods. and the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08

Sydney Webster Will also take III
place now along with Daniel ana N0a-
as a man of letters.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08
HOW THEY TELL.

About the only way small country
newspaper knows when congress con-
venes and adjourns is by noting when
the Congressional Record begins COM
ing and when 1t stops.-Clay Center
Times. --..-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08

Kansas City is bent on securing the
Republican national convention next
wear. In other words, Kansas CITY
vents to beat Tonopah out Of the next
big fight.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08
REFORM MOVES ON.

whole country a service in declaring
the kentucky gerrymander unconsti-
tutional Everywhere the gerryman-
der should be wiped out. 1t is an in
famous scheme, which has been long
practiced by both parties.-St. Louis
Post-DisDatch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08

! 1t really looks as though summer
made a false start last month ana II
had to back UP and give spring
chance
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08

The discharged employe" who sold
M F4arriman's "stolen" letter ap-
ioears to have been good judge OF
tneUz
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08

Who will make the address of well
come and extend the right hand of fel-
1owship in receiving Mr.. Hartman into
the Roosevelt Ananias club-Bellamy
stnrer or Poultney Bigelow.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08

As a matter of fact, Kansas is not
nearly so much interested in politics
tust row as she is in whether the green
bug really means business.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08

Harpers Weekly calls him Joseph
Rolf Burton" but that isn't what
good many people call him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08

Governor Hooh is filing some OF sen
ator LaF'olle ties Nebraska oates Ou
he isn't reading any roll calls.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08

Mr.. Hartman refers to the "adroit
mind of Elihu Root. Why doesn {
he employ Mr.. Roots "adroit m1nd
himself? He needs something of that
kind
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

when will Mr.. Hartman make an
!nther visit to Washington?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08

Also safe and sane All FOOLS day
would indicate that the world is grow
ing wiser as well as better.-Indianapo-
lis Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08

but, Franz, the ring you gave ne
won't fit on any of my fingers" We'll,
isn't that too badi 1 suppose I'll have
to get a new girl!'-Meggendo
Blaetter.
'I think the doctor wants to operate
on me-" What makes you think
that?" HE asked if he could see me
apart for a minute."-Judge.
81 thought" said the visitor. I'D
restorer did for a friend of mine.
When he started using your elixir
there were only a few hairs on his
head but now It's completely covered"
Indeed 2" exclaimed the patent medi-
cine man. Yes, by six feet of earth. y
The Catholic Standard and Times.
She tat the recital)-He's been di-
vorced three times, wears silk under
clothing winter and summer, won't
trim his fngernails on Friday and
Her Friend-What's he playing now?
She-You must think l know every
thing! Here's the program.-Puck.
Batcheller-Well, If L ever do take
a wife I'll make 1T a point to pick out
an economical woman. Wiseman-Im-
possible, my dear boy There's no
such thing as an economical woman.
A woman is either extravagant or
stingy.-Catholic Standard and Times.
Tom-Bess said mo" to me last
night. but 1 don't think she really
could tell why she did it. Nell-Oh,
yes, she could. She told me. Tom
Did she? Nell-Yes; she said she did
MT think you'd take mo" for an an
swer.-Philadelphia Press.
CaIlahan-Oi want to git a book to
put tn photographs av all me relatives
in. OF think this wan will do. Clerk
But that isn't family album, sir; that
l. l. EN1Ir L.
all right, young man; all av me rela-
tives are crappers.-Chicago News.
Booreleigh Cat 11:45)-"Ah, Miss
Critic, you have such a sweet, retir-
ing disposition" Miss Critic (yawning)
you fiatter me, Mr.. Boreleigh; but
must confess to a slight disposition to
retire. Puck.
Well-meaning humanitarian-"Wh
are you beating the poor donkey in
that way?' Coster with whitening
scorn)-"And a bloomin' lot o. good
it 'ud do beatin' the car-eh?''-
Punch.
Our Social Reformer-"What we
want, my friends, are less overcrowded
slums, larger villages. more pleasuret
for the workers, and less drink" viz
lager-''Well, sir, but 'ow are we to
ave more pleasure if he as less beer4"
Punch.
Senator" asked the beautiful girl,
"do you always keep a list of your
enemies so that you may get even with
them sometime 81 Heavens, no." re-
piled the statesman. II always forgive
my enemies the first thing and try as
soon as possible to get them to quit
talking about me."-Chicago Record
Herald.
Chapleigh-'I was aw-out late lawst
foI7k ho rxroc 7 n
a head on me thisQmawning. doncher
know" Miss Caustique-"Well. If I
were you I'd stay out late every night"
Chicago Daily News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08
Looked Like a Sore ringer.

Barrett was very pompous man, and
as my bump of reverence has always
peen concavity he early marked me
out for his displeasure. After giving
me a list of plays for which to procure
Wardrobe-plays which he did not do
during the season-he suddenly chang
ed MS mind and put on Julius Gaze
sar in Richmond, Va. It was impos-
s1ble to get an armor there. 1 played
Metellus Climber, First Citizen and
Phasarius-and a soldier! Luckily had
SANDALS and feshings 1 borrowed a
tunic from Otis Skinner, a toga from
the stage manager who was out of the
theater; got out makeup for
Phasarius, the Barbarian, but the SOL
der? All of the utility men were COM
PEELED to "eke the battle rabble OUT
as soldiers in the last act 1 could not
get in the town a helmet and arrnor,
so I simply "lurked' behind the other
soldiers clad in heshings, sandals and
SINNERS tunie, which came half way
to my knees. I was then 5 feet liz
imagine the audience hardly became
conscious of me until my third en-
trance.
My modest disposition and my desire
not to meet the stars eye did not avail
me. He spotted me the first thing. AS
the curtain came down he called me and
Numbered: What do you think you
representa-"
shyly responded: "a camp follower,
sir lruking behind the main column
and robbing the dead"
HUH" he grunted, his eyes passing
up my stretch of shanks in pink flesh
ings, surmounted by the tight little
tunic at top, you look like sore f1ng-
er!"-W1lton Lackaye, in Bohemian.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08
KANSAS COMMETT
HAM.

HAM
We attended the first session of the
Kansas legislature, and we attended
the last one. The fact is, we have
missed but few sessions in the last
forty-six years, and we are prepared
to say that one of the most careful,
palnstaking, honest, sincere members
we nave gone up against in all that
time was W. B. Ham of Rocks county.
Mr.. Ham is an industrious man, a
brainy man and one who never fails
to do his duty in the most positive
manner He never shirks, shuft1es or
lodges. He was always in his seat, al
ways knew what was going on, while
always lining up on the right side of
every proposition. We see it stated
mat Mr.. Ham is a possible candidate
Tor congress from the Sixth district.
we nope the Republicans of that dis
trlct Will nominate and elect him. He
Is the kind of a man to send to Wash
lngton- He is a man in every sense
OF the word. and. if elected, will stand
Tor the things the people are today de-
manding- Send him to congress and
send him next year. It's the thing to
do.-ElDorado Republican.
A PENALTY NOW.
Two years ago the legislature passed
law compelling township treasurers
TO publish statement of the financial
condition of their townships directly af-
ter the final settlement in October, but
R-SN~NSO III pSllalLy TOT failure 10 90 so.
BY reason of this chance to evade the
law considerable number have failed
TO cause these statements to be publish
ed on account of the expense of it. The
present legislature has amended the law
providing penalty for failure to do so
IN the way of a fine imposed against
township treasurers of not less than SO
nor more than $25.-HoIton Recorder.
o.
ONE THING ACCOMPLISHED.
If the work of the various state leg
lslatures shall result in nothing more
than driving the railroads to submit
without struggle to the governing
power of the federal government the
legislatures will have accomplished a
good deal TO be proud of. The one
thing that this country needs in the
railroad rumpus is railroad magnates
VINO are willing to bow to govern
mental authority lodged in some def
mite place. If the legislatures have
done this they have done much to-
ward solving the vexing problems of
railway control.-Lawrence World.
WHERE SHE ExCELLED.
Mrs. Jim Hill, the most prominent
woman in the Northwest, and owner
of the finest house in ST Paul, was for
merly a dining room girl. But she was
a good dining room girl, and a good
woman. She attracted the attention of
Jim Hill, one of the ''boarders," and la
ter Jim Hill married her, and became
the greatest railroad man of his time
When your chance comes, be ready to
accept 1t: have record that will not
scare your chance away.-Atchison
Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08
HUM0R or TIE DAY

"But, Franz. the ring you gave me
won't 1T on any of my fingers' We'll,
isn't that too badi 1 suppose I'll have
to get new girl!'-Meggendor
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08

81 think the doctor wants to operate
on me-" What makes you think
that?" HE asked If he could see me
apart for a minute. Judge.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08

Abel was really the first victim of a
brainstorm.-Menrhi News Scimitar.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08
THE FAIRLY CANDIDATE


candidate does not often catch the
York Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-08
"Arna Virnn,nne.v

A big fuss has been made in the
press over q hospital nurse marrying
an armless man. The lady, whose
pluck all must admire, was evidently
quite cognizant of the responsibility
that such a proceeding involved, and
worlds business. After all, arms and
the man" are not the Alpha and
Omega of matrimonial bliss. In the
case in question there are still two
arms left, or rather one left and one
right, to do the needful, and 1T goes
without saying that when the call "to
arms" goes forth the lady will be
there. To my mind an armless hus-
band is to an extent preferable to one
with arms. No cry of "hands off, will
be heard in that home-from the lady,
at all events.-Pick-M e-Up.