The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-03-10
MT. DooLey on Woman Suffrage

See be tn pa-apers," said MT. Dooley, "that tn ladies in England have got up in their right an demanded vote
 "A what?' cried Mir Hennessy.
 "A vote," said Mir. Dooley.
 'aTh' shameless viragoes." said Mir. Hennessy. What did they doY
 ''well, sir" said MT. Dooley, "an im- mense concourse iv forty iv thim gath cred in London an marched up to tn House iy Commons, or naytional dor mytory, where loud an almost uni- versal snore proclaimed that debate was ragin' over tn bill to allow En- glish gintlemen to marry their deceas- ed wife's sister befure tn autopsy. In tn great hall iv Rufus some iv tn mightiest male intellects in Britain slept under their hats an impassioned orator delivered a hem-stiched speech on tn subject iv tn day to tn attintive knees an feet iv tn ministhry. It was into this here assimbly iv the first gintIemin iv Europe that ye see on ye'er way to France that tn furyous females attempted to enter. Unduaunted be tn stairs iv tn building or the rude jeers iv tn multichood, they advanced to tn very outside doors iv tn idifice. There an overwhelmin' force iv three poilso- men opposed thim. What dye want, mum?' asked the polise. We demand in suffrage" says tn commander tV tn army iv freedom.
 9Th brutal polls refused to give it to thim an desperate battle follow ed. Tn ladies fought gallantly, hurlin' cries iv Brute Monster Cheap, ct cethry, at tn constablry. Hat pins were dhrawn. Wan lady let down her back hair; another bolder thin tn rest, done a fit on tn marble stairs; third p'raps rendered insane by suffertn' fr a vote sthruck burly ruffyan with a Japansese fan on tn little finger iv tn right hand. Thin tn infuryated officers iv tn law charged on tn cham peens iv liberty. A scene iv horror fol- lowed. Polismen seized ladies by tn arms and led thim down tn stairsi others were carried out fainting by tn tvrants. In a few minytts all was ov- ar. an' nawthin' but three hundred hair nins remained to mark tn scene iv Slaughter. Thus, Hinnissy, was anoth- er battle fir freedom fought an lost"
 Tt sarves thim right" said MT. Hen nssy. They ought to be at home tln- din tn babies"
 "A thrue statement an a sound arr gvnoiut that appeals to ivry man. Praps thev havn't got any babies. baby IS a esood substichoot f'r a ballot, an tn hand that rocks tn cradle siloom mas time fr amy other luxuries. But why sbud we give thim a vote, says l. What have they done to injye this here im- pearval suffrage that we fought an hie5 Pr Whin me forefathers were folIowin' George Washnton an suner- in all tn hardships that men endure camnin' out in vacation time, what were tbI woman doin'? They were back in Matsachoosetts milixin' tn COW, mend JnI socks. foIlowin' tn blow, plantin' corn. keepin' store, shoein' horses, an pursooin' tn other frivilous follies iv th' fair but fickle sect. Afther tn war our brave fellows come back to Bos- ion an as a reward fr their devotion Tot vote apiece, if their wives had kent tn Pilgrim fathers that stayed al home firm foreclostn' tn morgedge on their property. An now, be hiv- ems, they want to share with us what we won.
 ''Why, they wudden't know how to vote. They think it't an aisy job that amy wan can do, but it ain't It's mans wurruk, an a sthrong mans with a sthrong stomach. I don't know amy thing that requires what Hogan calls tn exercise iv manly vtgor more thin votin I get up befure daylight an thramp over in tn cold to tn Timple iv Freedom, which Is also tn office iv a livery stable. Wan iv tn judges has a cold in his head an closes all tn win dows. Another judge has built roar in fire in a round stove an is cookin' red-hots on 1t. Tn room is lit with candles an karosene lamps, an is crowded with pathrites who haven't been to bed. Al tn dure are two or three polismen that maybe yo don't care to meet. Dick O'Leary says he don't know annXthing thst'u ezhouSt tn air