davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1907-09-07
Conundrunls.

When is grain like children! When Graded.
Why are our friends like good books? When
they are well selected.
When are guns like the plains? When leveled
When is milk like an ill-tempered old woman
When sour.
When is quilt like an insane person? When
crazy.
Why had person better lose his arm than his
eg2 Because losing his leg he loses something "to
boot"
What did Adam first plant in the garden of
Eden2 His foot
Why is stick of candy like race horse? Be
cause the more you lick it the faster it goes.
Why is a peach stone like regiment? Because
il has a kernel.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1907-09-07

Dan, Dan, the crazy man
Ever the childhood vision ran,
Ever the toothache seemed SO real
He suffered within his poor old heel!
How he could comb his hair that way
Was mystery of the childheart day
But childhood faith and childhood trust
Went down with him to the dreamless dust!
Sometimes into the life | know
The lays of the land of childhood flow,
And then | wish that the crazy man
And his aching heel and his frying pan
Were real again as they used to be
In childheart valleys of songs and glee.
Where jingles peop led the world with CLEAN
And our dearest friends were the friends q
dream!
-Pa1+irnOro S,,,,
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1907-09-07
THE DEAREST ONE IN ALL THE EARTH.
Mother.

Mother.
In line or language there is no other
Word that tells so clear a story
Of life and love and living glory
Like that sweet word,
So often heard,
And yet so little known
Until into our soul life grown,
As that which names the precious one,
Who only knows her duty done,
When she has folded to her breast
Her offspring for longed-for rest;
She who has fought the prize to win
For a noble life and an entering in
Through the gates of heaven,
By promise given,
Of yielded life for life, of love for love,
For bringing blessings from above,
Lifting her offerings up on high,
Ready for them to do and die.
And this brief verse
Would fain rehearse
The virtues and the modest worth
Of the dearest one in all the earth,
Mother.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1907-09-07
THE FRIENDS OF DREAM.

Dan, Dan, the crazy man,
Who washed his face in frying pan,
Combed his hair with wagot wheel
And died with the toothache h his heel
How many years it has been 1ince l
Over his fate had a childhearf cry!
Poor old fellow who seemed to me
Such a terrible victim of misery!
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1907-09-07
WEIRD, sUpERsTITIoUs BELIEF.
Confined from I

(Contlnued from Page /.
his creatures, being unable I'd harm him and his
The great world is yours; my teachings are your
religion, your customs those Pf your heroes, your
food whatever nature provides, your houses the
solitudes and caves of the DESERT your clothing the
large leaves of the palm tree land the feathers of
birds.
Thus far Marcia. We do Not compete with the
civilized, not knowing the Supreme Being; we
would wish, however. to know Him as we would like
to adopt the of life and the customs of the
whites, but we will never serIe him, nor become
civilized
The caeiques, the warriors, The men and women,
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1907-09-07
AT LIES CLOSE.

Oh, what a glory doth this world put on
For him who with a fervent heart. goes forth
Under the bright and glorious sky, and looks
On duties well performed, and days well spent!
For him the wind, ay, and the yellow leaves,
Shall have voice, and give him eloquent teach
ings,
He shall SO hear 1e solemn hymn that death
Has lifted up IT, that he shall go
To his long re- -rs &c without tear.
-Longfellow, Autumn"
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1907-09-07
Salt Lake City. Sept. 2. 1907.

h1S'Ab l1ohe SIly, S6pJ. 4, IIUl.
Dear Aunt Busy: Our school begins tomorrow
am going to study real hard. The sisters are very
kind to us. like to play. During the vacation
we used to turn the benches together and we girls
used to sleep together. play with Mary Robbins
and Alice Fisher and we sometimes quarrel, but
make up again. Your loving niece
LOTTIE BROWN.
Dottie, you have nice name and you are a
dear little niece. You must be good and obedient
to the sisters who so kind to you If you study
hard. when you big girl you will be able to
get nice position You must not quarrel with
your playmates. Tell Mary Robbins to write to
Aunt Busy and she writes Auntie viii expect a
letter from your other companion, Alice.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1907-09-07
MARGARET FISHER.
Salt Lake CITY Aug 81 1907

Salt Lake City, Aug. q, 1907.
Dear Aunt Busy: This is my first letter for the
paper. have read other letters and take pleasure
IN reading them Well, Aunt Busy, you busy
and am busy and when two are busy it makes a
pair. We'll, I will close for this week Your loving
niece THERESA POWELL
Aunt Busy hopes little Theresa will find plenty
Of time to write poor old Auntie It is good for
you, dear niece to be kept busy as idle lazy little
girls very often get into mischief When you have
time to spare do not forget writing a nice letter
as Auntie always is delighted when she hears from
her loving nieces
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1907-09-07
Against the Law.

1t is always misdemeanor to cross the tracks
at any railway station in Europe or to ride on the
cars without a ticket. For the latter offense the
penalty is heavy.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-09-23
ENGLISH ETCHINGS.

The picture post card craze is dimin-
fishing in England.
If all the land in the United King
dom were divided among it's inhabit-
ants, little over one and three-quar-
ter acres would be the share Of each
person.
The Westminster Nondon) guardians
have acceded to request by an In
mate of the workhouse seventy eight
years old to be provided with false
teeth and a false palate. The cost will
be e.
Organs are to be supplied to British
warships carrying chaplalns. Four
new cruisers are to have them at once
1t Is thought that the organ will give
a more impressive setting to the daily
services Oh board ship than the accom-
panlment of the ships band.
John Thomas Dean, who has died at
Peterborough, England, at the age of
eighty-five, was the last Of the post
boys connected with that city. In his
time he performed many notable rid
ing feats, on one occasion winning a
wager for riding eighty miles in eight
hours
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-09-23
NEW YORK CITY.

New York city women have more pet
dogs in proportion to the population
than any other city in the world ex-
cepting Paris.
New York hospital records show that
there is an average of one man killed
or seriously injured every week on
each dock Of the city.
New York city has smaller proper
ton Of inhabitants born within its Dor
ders than any other city in the world.
Brooklyn borough has the most and
Manhattan the least.
Liberty street, in New York city, has
been so known since the days Of the
Revolution. Before that It was Crown
street, which savored entirely too much
Of royalty to suit the patriots, so the
name had to 60 with kingly rule.-New
York Herald
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-09-23
Brevities
THE HALL OF FAME.

William NJ. Laffan, proprietor of the
New York Sun, is famous collector
of china and ceramics.
At eighty-siX years of age the Mar
Qnis Bebno, in London, announces his
intention Of swimming the East river
from Manhattan to Brooklyn.
The honorary degree of doctor of
laws was recently conferred on DR.
Nicholas Murray Butler president of
Columbia university, New York. by
Cambridge university. Z
Colonel Charles Nj. Jarvis of Berlin
Conn. settled squubble over the Sc
lection Of school site by presenting
the town with plot of land Just
south of the one talked of, which had
been boosted to prohibitory price
Governor Hoke Smith has selected a
newspaper man as his private secre
tary. His name Is Josiah Anderson
Carter, and he has been managing edi
tor Of the Atlanta Journal and has
been connected with the Savannah
Press and the Atlanta News.
Isidor Wormser, the New York bank
er. lately deceased. had habit Of be-
ing out of doors when other brokers
were in their offices or on the eX-
change floor. 1t is said that on the
steps of the exchange he always knew
within One-eighth the standing of the
stock.
Michael William Balfe, son of the ia
nous composer of 1.-The Bohemian
Girl" is living in poverty in London.
lie is now seventy years old and al
most disabled. He spent twenty years
in America, from 1865 to 1875 and
from 1870 to 1885, His income is only
a few shillings a week, contributed by
sympathetic friends.
Asa G. Gambler Of Atlanta has sub
scribed $4,000 to the Wesley memorial
enterprise. launched by the bishops of
the Methodist Episcopal Church South.
Mr.. Gambler is one Of the wealthiest
men in the south. Thirty-two years
ago he tramped to Atlanta from his
country home in the state, his only
asset being the clothes he wore.
s. w. Atherton, the twenty times
over millionaire Of Chicago and the
founder of Chicago's great Union
stockyard system, was born on a farm
In New York state, where he labored
until he was young man, when he
went to Chicago. Although he holds
membership in number Of the ex'
elusive clubs Of Chicago, home life is
more attractive, and he spends more
time at home than does almost any
other Chicago man Of like means.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-09-23
Spared Them the AGONY.

One warm Sunday few weeks ago
the shade of John Smith had an after
noon off, and there being no ball game
he thought he would drop around to
the jamestown exposition to see how
the thing cOnformed to his general
ideas on the subject.
The guide, delighted to have so dis
tinguished guest, showed him about
the grounds and finally took him into
a restaurant. Shades do not eat, but
still John found it interesting to look
over the bill. "H'm! he said to him.
self after figuring a minute. 1T Is
good thing none Of the early settlers
are about. With these prices they
couldn't afford to look in at the win
dow"
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-09-23
The Tattered FLAGS,

There is a curious reason for the Or
der which the kaiser has just issued to
the effect that the colOrs of regiments
are to be taken from their cases only
on the most important occasions. The
flags of the German army are in a de-
plorable condition, even the new Ones
for the colonies of regiments which
have had new colors given them Of
late years to replace the old ones which
went through the Franco Prussian war
hated parading with brand new colors,
as If the regiment had never been in
action They winked at the subalterns,
who slit the new flags and gave them
the dilapidated air Of the old colOrs.
But the emperor was furious at this
imitation, and so he has had the sham
glories put back into the cases.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-09-23
Selections
THE DIET DRILL.
Ancient Method Of Making Brave Sol.
diers In China

Ancient Method Of Making Brave Sol.
diers In China.
In robes of pale silk, delicate and
eool, a fat young Chinese diplomat
amused a half dozen pretty girls ut
Bar Harbor tea.
And" he was saying, 1--WE find 1t
hard to abolish the ancient diet drills
Of our soldiers. They still believe,
you know, that 1t is food rather than
work and study which makes the sue
cessful warrior.
"Our old laws bid the soldier on the
thirteenth day before going into bat
tie to eat tiger jelly, so as to possess
the tigers ferocity. On the twelfth
day they tell him to eat lion liver In
order to acquire the lions bravery.
For the eleventh day the ancient writ
ings advise serpent soup, which Will
give the man the serpent's cunning;
on the tenth day, chameleon custard.
SO that he may dazzle and cOnfOund
the enemy by changing color like the
chameleon; on the ninth day, broth
of crocodile that he may pursue the
enemy In the water no less cleverly
than on land.
"NeXt. .jaguar spleen. which will give
aim the jaguar's fierce and rapid on
slaught next kites heads, for the
eyeS!@A.; thcn hppopotamus brains,
TO tougher the skin against wounds;
then roast monkey. for nimbleness in
scaling the cneny's walls; then stew
I'd scorpions. a dish that makes the
cate" capable of iniicting venOmous
worH1s: then UNDERGONE venOmous
breast. 80 t'iat the soldier may be cruel
and pi.ilcss. AID finally on the day Of
battle the ran is ordered to eat red
powder made of the desiccated blood
of The leopard. so that he may tear
the foe 70 pieces as the leopard tears
his prey"
The young diplomat laughed.
I'VE have still" he said. Hundreds
of mandarins and thousands of sol
ders VINO think that this diet system
makes better warriors than all the
modern drilling and gunncry and sci
ence In the world. '-EXchange.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-09-23

type known as Mallet compound. and
will have sixteen drive wheels, ar
ranged in two independent groups of
eight each. The boilers used are more
than forty-three feet long. and the in
side diameter of the largest firebox
foundation ring Is eight feet. 1t is
provided with 404 tubes two and one
quarter inches in diameter and TWEEN
ty-one feet long. The water in the
boiler will weigh 42,7OO pounds and
the tubes 231O0 pounds. One Of the
fireboxes would make a good sized liv-
ing room. being ten and one-half feet
long and nine and One-half feet wide
Inside, and having crate area Of 100
square feet.-New York Herald.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-09-23
New Method Mirrors.

Copper very closely resembles silver
in many respects, but hitherto no
method has been known of depositing
1t from aqueous solutions on glass so
as to form mirrors like those so long
made with silver. This Is now accom-
plished by reducing cupric oxide by
an aqueous solution Of phenyl hydra
zine In presence Of potassium hydrox-
ide. Some mirrors made in this way
have been shown to the London Royal
society by DR.. +. D. Chattaway ane
have a coherent metallic film rs bril-
liant and uniform us that Of the OIL
yer on glass reflectors used in tele
scopes and much more beautiful on
account of the color.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-09-23

countries at the rate of over 10000
900 day, counting six days to the
week.
HOrseflesh Is generally advertised In
the German newspapers, and most
cities in the empire have at least one
market which makes it specially,
maintaining that it has higher per-
centage of nOurishment than beef,
veal, mutton or pork.
Less than 10 per cent of the emf
grants who sailed from German ports
last year We're natives of the German
empire. The vast majority came by
railroad from Russia, Austria Hungary
and other countries south and east Of
Germany.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-09-23
Three Giant Locomotives.

Three locomotives. now building for
the Erie railroad at the Schenectady
works of the American Locomotive
company. will lie the heaviest and
most powerful engines of their kind
ever constructed
Each locomotive acne. without its
tender. will weigh co tons. ana will
haul on the level 20 l"aCc! freight
cars, or a train tWo rli!cs long.
FChncO - ~ n
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-09-23
Humor ana Philosophy
By DUNCAN N. SMITH
NEEDED A DIAGRAM.

Little Teddy Truax,
Kind. but rather slow.
Thought he'd like to marry
But he didn't know
How to so about it
Didn't have n plat
Or directions printed
Lots of men like that.
Saw dozen charmers,
Sweet and full of fun;
Didn't want a dozen,
Only wanted one.
When he got one cornered
Couldn't make the play
Fer the fateful moment
Let her get away
Some pronounced him hopeless;
Others We're inclined
To take pity on him.
You have seen that kind.
Flattered him a little.
Tried to help his hand.
Do their best. they couldn't
Make him understand.
So he kept on living
In a single state,
Hoping. ever hoping,
He would meet his mate.
You have seen men like him.
II they had guide
And some one to push them
They could get a bride.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-09-23
GERMAN GLEANINGS.

According to the latest figures, the
population of the German empire now
exceeds 6O,6O5,OOO.
Germany exports more than 3,00O,-
100000 lead pencils every twelve
months. They are shipped to foreign
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-09-23
Sleep.

Now, blessings light on him that first
invented this same sleep! 1t covers
man all over, thoughts and all, like
cloak. 1t is meat for the hungry, drink
for the thirsty, heat for the cold and
cold for the hot. 1t Is the current coin
that purchases all the pleasures Of the
world cheap and the balance that sets
the king and the shepherd, the fool and
the wise man, even.-Cervantes.
The Eye.
The apparatus for keeping the eye
moist Is complex and efficient. 1t COM
prises the lachrymal gland, which Sc
cretes the tears; the lachrymal carun-
Gle, small tleshy body at the inner
angle of the eye; the puncta lachrymae,
two small openings ut the nasal ex-
tremity Of the eyelids; the lachrymal
ducts, which convey the tears into the
nose, and the lachrymal sac, a dllata-
ton Of the canal.
A sikworm Romance.
The king of KhOtan, in central Asia,
made Overtures for the hand of the
daughter of the emperor Of China, and
his suit was favorably entertained. But
there was something from China which
he coveted even more than the fair
princess and which he had failed to
win by war. So he induced his bride
elect to secrete in the long tresses of
her hair number of silkworm eggs
and seeds Of the mulberry plant when
she came to him, and in that romantic
fashion was it that the culture Of the
sillIworm and the manufacture Of silk
took their first step westward.
rrajan's wal.
The Danube was for time sufli-
cient protection against the Scythians.
but soon better defense was needed,
and Trajan devised and carried out
complete system of frontier posts from
Ratisbon to Belgrade. At Belgrade the
forts became fortresses. the earthworks
became wall, and the whole mighty
fertilization turned away from the
Danube river. Between Belgrade and
the Black sea there were ninety-siX
forts Of large size and hundreds Of
little castles, while the whole line of
Ira JAMS wall traversed distance OF
1, 100 miles and inclosed 5000 castles.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-09-23

Exit Vacation.
The days are hot; the sun Is fierce:
Its rays the thickest canvas pierce; .
1t drives the early dews away.
And now the dog star has his day
When August comes around.
The air Is close; the nights are still:
You see great big hotel bill.
Still climbing with aspiring eye,
You view the same and sadly sigh
When August comes around.
The girl you loved through all July
Grows cold when comes another nigh
You pack your grip; to town you HE
And to vacation say goodby
When August comes around.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-09-23
Sensitive.

Sensitive.
How do you like an ocean voyage"
"TOO strenuous for me. / am not q
born sailor. Just riding on the water
wagon makes me SeaSick."
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-09-23
PERT. PARAGRAPHS.

It is foolish to save money for your
funeral expenses, for while you will
probably be present you won't feel that
it is any of your funeral.
A woman is wise to keep good sup
ply on hand to use when her husband
gets out of temper.
Some people are respectable in spite
Of all they can do.
Automobilng may be expensive, but
1t is ballOcuing that comes high.
Queer people are the sort that are
most unlike us.
People who implore the boys to re-
main on the farm don't know anything
about bugging taters.
His breach of promise suit is one
that a young man would rather not
have pressed.
We feel if we could get the world to
practice ali we preach there would not
be any need of further reform.
Unless you want to engage in imme-
date activities don't criticise a wo-
mans husband
A dog in the manger ism generous,
but he is doubtless useful.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-09-23
TrifIe Lacking

TrifIe Lacking.
"She would be positively handsome
but for one thing"
"What's thaty
swell, she isn't good looking"
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-09-23
An Unprotected
Industry.

Industry.
"There ought
to be a tariff on
bridegrOOms III
this country"
what would
be the sense in
that"
"Our eligible
v GU II e IN g n
shouldn't be
asked to COM
pete with the
pauper counts of
Europe"
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-09-23

Unless you want to engage in mme-
date activities don't criticise a wo-
mans husband.
The Donaldsonville chief., 1907-12-21
Negro Killing in cliurcllYllIe.

Tom Ball. young negro about Is
/ years of age, was shot and instantly
killed shortly before noon Wednesday
By Amos Hodson, also eolored, The
murder occurred at the house OF Mary
| Joseph. q snearess, in Chafchyilie, and
was unusually cold -btooGed aud @an.
ton. 1t seems that Ball and HuGsons
who had been making grinding on
a sugar plantation near tLabadieEilIe,
were paid off Tuesday aud returned to
Donaldsonviile Wednesday forenoon.
They repaired TO tho house Of the
Joseph woman ia the Churehville
suburb, where they met two young
negresses, Josephine Harris aud Ce-
lins Duncan, with whom they pro-
ceeded to make merry. Ball, who had
made some purchases iG Donaldson
vile earlier in the morning, fnally
produced a pair of patent leather
shoes and was preparing TO put them
on, when one Of the girls asked him
how much they had cost. Upon his
replying tS3 80, +" Hudson called him
a d. liar, asserting that he had paid
but So for the footwear. Ball again de-
clared that the shoes had cost S3 so,
Whereupon Hudson, who was toying
with revolver, began to apply q
stream Of epithets to his whilom friend
and ended by raising his gun and fir.
ing at Ball at point blank range. The
bullet struck the unfortunate negro in
the right temple and ranged upward
and backward, lodging in the brain
and causing Death almost Instantly.
Hudson aud the two negro girls were
arrested shortly after the shooting
and lodged il jail. The murderer de-
clared th at Ball had committed suicide,
but the two girls, after first stating
that Hudson had sworn to kill them
should they peach" on him, finally
broke down and confessed how The
tragedy occurred. Coroner e. (.
Sims empanelled a jury and held an
inquest over Balls body, finding that
death was caused by a hemorrhage OF
the brain resulting from a pistol
wound inflicted by Amos Hudson.
Reports from the New River section
of the parish are to the effect that the
work of harvesting the cotton crop
has been completed, the average yield
being considerably less than last
year. Farmers who made fifty or
sixty bales in 1906 giuned only thtrts
or forty bales this year, and a similar
ratio of loss obtained all along the
line.
The Donaldsonville chief., 1907-12-21

Mrs. Paul Leche left this morning
for New Orleans to meet her young
son, Karl, who will come over from
Mobile, where he is attending college,
to spend the Christmas holidays with
his parents.
The Donaldsonville chief., 1907-12-21

The public schools throughout the
parish closed yesterday afternoon for
the Christmas holidays and will re.
open on Thursday. Jan. q Appro-
pirate exercises were carried ont at .
number Of the institutions, and the
merry season was ushered In with
much good cheer and rejoicing. a
Christmas tree was given at the local
high school for he pupils OF the primer
grade.
The Donaldsonville chief., 1907-12-21

A. VI 0sterberger, a leading young
business man and popular citizen Of
the eighth ward, has been appointed
postmaster at Prairievflle to succeed
Mrs. lie Landry, resigned, and the Sc
lection is meeting with the cordial en-
dorsement and approval of the patrons
of the Office and friends of the ap-
nointee.