Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-11-30
KEEPING TAB ON LUCK

tSIAs SAoWlCu TIE young mar
ried man. lis an imp with a
- thumb at his nose and the out,
spread fingers wiggling derisively. That's
what think of Luck
''The forwhy of this conclusion is this:
Whenever anybody or anybodies drop
in Of an evening to Sc us the wife and I
look like tramps. I've been watching
this keenly and carefully and have tabu
lated set of statistics with reference to
it covering the entire period of our mar
ried life-a period ranging over matter
of one entire lunar year-and 1 have yet
to see it fall
Il don't know why it is, but in this
town it's hard to get anybody to nams
an exact evening for calling on you. You
invite 'em to drop in and see you on
such-and-such an evening. and they flag
you so far as any particular evening Is
concerned.
We'll look in on you one evening
next week. is the way you get it. and
then. of course. in your state of uncer-
tainty during all of the evenings of next
week you've got to sort OF stand by with
your spouse, to greet visitors.
That's the way it goes with us. We've
been looking as pretty as the dickens of
evenings after dinner-untl last evening
ION Monday evening last, to begin with
by way of illustrating a whole lot of
weeks we've passed through, said 1 to
the wife.
oh, by the way. 1 met Jim Flitsky
last Saturday. and he, said he and Mrs.
Fhtsky'n be digging us up some evening
this week. So l guess we'd better not
get into the easy toys for while to-
night. eh?'
'She agreed with me- of course. Our
easy toys, worn when we're not expecting
anybody. are nothing short Of disrep-
utable. Mine. for example, consist of an
that look like part of stage hobo's
makeup and a raggedy old loose coat
that no self-respecting bum would think
Of flashing on his pals.
The wifes easy togs consist Of a con-
sderably split black silk underskirt a
house jacket that. while individually
clean. looks like proper garment for a
fat Coney Island fortune teller nary a
piece of whalebone anywhere around her;
her rat removed from her head and
tucked away, ditto the phony curls and,
like as not the front hemp skllfully
rugged up in kids, and with a pair of
easy slippers only little notch better
than my own in the matter of respecta-
bility.
well, when one or the other of us
sounds the warning that maybe there'll
be visitors of an evening. of course, we
don't put on this delightfully."- slouchy
makeup.
Nothing like that in our family on the
exectant evenings Nope. On the contrary,
l leave on my respectable workaday trous
ers, shift from the standing collar to a
scomfortable but foolish turn-0ver collar.
through which 1 string black grenadine
Windsor tie to sort O. look artistic; then
I switch the kicks for real cunnin' pair
Of Romeo slippers of red leather and
then, slipping into short padded smok
ing jacket. why. I'm the candy, and no
mistake, and a fine picture of a phony
into the bargain, because, getting into
that kind of evening raiment. my DELHI
crate attempt is to try to make visitors
believe that that's the fool way 1 sit
around the house every evening like
blamed posy-wosy heavy-weather pickle.
"As for the spouse, when she is tipped
off that somebody's going to drop in, she
tittivates up heap herself; leaves the
hair stand as it's rugged, rat and puffs
and all; switches into pair of 'front.'
row showgirl high-heeled slippers and
keeps on the slaZy-wazy stockings; and
skirt and fresh shirt waist. or an ornate
contraption of a tea gown, and, after
powdering her nose half a dozen times
as she passes the chiffonier, why, there
she is, too, respectable and engaging and
counterfeitish, just as I am in my ficti-
tious evening makeup. for she. too,
strives to deceive visitors into believing
that she's always, of evenings, just as she
is when she goes TO great pains to fix up
for them.
well, that was the way we fixed up
and sat around on Monday night last, in
expectation Of the Flftskys The Flitskys
are staggering sort of a couple-though
I've no doubt, in their hours of ease and
relaxation. they look just as bum as we
do-and Of course we didn't dare to have
them sail in on us and catch us looking
like couple of outcasts.
Same Tuesday evening. But the at
skys didn't show up Tuesday evening.
either. The wife and sat and yawned in
each others faces, and read sort of alb
stractedly, and felt sort of stiff and
sewed-up, and each had sneaking sort
of longing for the old. punkerino toys
that permit of so much Jolly comfort; but
Of course we couldn't switch as long as
there was chance for the F1itskys to
drop In.
1.-THE same goes for Wednesday and
Thursday evenings. We sat around stiff
and wretched, and yet in fear that if we
permitted ourselves to get comfortable
the Notwithstanding to dope that
we've kept on this thing, as I say. ever
since We were married-would happen
again.
but last evening, after dinner, felt
dog-tired. Had had a hard day at the
office. and didn't feel little bit like sit-a
ting around In any company clothes.
I'm going to take a chance I said
to the wife. Those Flitsky people proba-.
bly, won't come out on such a night as
this-rain threatening and all like that
even if they're ever meaning to come.
And I'm heap weary. I'm going to shed
this gear and get into the old stuff Might
as well gamble on their not coming to-
night as any other old night.
But wouldn't it be awful If they were
to Gomez said the wife. L really am
afraid myself, to put Oh
b" oh. you've got to change into the old
stuff If 1 do, my dear l said to her.
Wouldn't do a particle of good if you
were to be all fused up when they came,
and I looked like a hobo. What's the
difference? 1t 'ud be a give-away any
how. So come on. They won't be here.
Let's get comfortable
(Which we did. The wife removed the
nine or ten pounds of hypothetical hair
that she packs around on her head in the
form of rat, and climbed into the easy
stuff and me similar.
Wed just got rugged that way, and
were corked off comfortably in the sit
ting room, me reading the Stah-pape and
the wife some piff1ing piece of fiction,
when-
"Oh. WE'LL you know the rest. Yes. it
was the Flitskys. The Flitskys. logged
to within an inch of their lives The maid
was gone. of course, and / had to answer
the door-bell, and my wife hadn't had
time to make her escape to the upper re-
gions to tidy up before the Flitskys were
in the house; and there we were, both of
us fairly caught!
1--WE tried to square it. of course, with
a lot of cheap witticisms and such like,
put. nix. that didn't go. The Flltskys
90 talr 20