Alaska sentinel., 1907-11-14
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will. She-Well, I've got one.-Punch.
 Daughter-She seems to have got over the death of her first husband. Father-Yes. but her second husband hash 't.-Plek-Me- Up.
 Mrs. Smaltown-Would you accept a place in the suburbs? Cook-Ill con sider 1t if yez have room In your garage for me motor-Town Topics
 What did you think of that girl at her comlng-out party?" Well. to be perfectly frank. I thought shed better go back .'-Leslle's Weekly.
 Mother-But what do you expect to do later, my son, If you never learn to write? Son-Oh, that will be all right I'll buy typewrlter.-Silhouet
 May I call you Mabel?' he asked at their second meeting, pretending to be badly smitten. If you wish to; but my name Is Gertrude. Chicago Rec ord Herald.
 Candidate for Crew-Could you tell me where the rhetoric class Is being held? Candidate for Football--I don't know; I'm a student here myself Town Topics
 Employer-ThIs makes the fourth grandmother of yours that has died this spring. Office Boy-I know It; ain't these family troubles fierce - Cornell Widow.
 SnookstTo what do you attribute your success as a tradesman? Sellem If a customer doesn't see what he wants. make him want what he sees illustrated Bits.
 What's become of your umbrella" T loaned 1t to Tompkins.' Why doesn't he return it?' 'rhe owner caught him with It and demanded It." Milwaukee Sentinel.
 Father, do all angels have wings" NO, my son, your mother has none. And then she said, sweetly, that he might go to the club If he wouldn't stay late .-Atlanta Constitution.
 Teacher-How long had Washington been dead when Roosevelt was inaugu- rated? Scholar-I dunno but It hasn't been very dead since Teddy has been there .-LippIncott's Magazine.
 Do you think cabbage Is unwhole- somef" asked the dyspeptic. Tt de bends somewhat" answered the food expert, "on whether you eat It or try to smoke it."-Washlngton Star.
 Mrs. Rogers is a perfect slave to her husband" What does she do?" nn his birthday, she gets up in time to eat breakfast with him. ."-Leslle's Weekly.
 Teacher-You have named all domes- tic animals save one. It has bristly hair, It Is grimy, likes dirt and is fond of mud. We'll Tom? Tom tshame- facedly )-.Thats me.-Chicago Trlb- une.
 Mabel (aged six)-Aln't you afraid of our big dog? The Parson Every thn) No, my dear He would not make much of a meal off me. Mabel-Oh, but he likes bones best.-Chicago Daily News
 "A tramp fell into the water tank of a locomotive and rode twenty-seven miles without being discovered" Was he unconscious when foundF No. Unrecognlzable" le"-Cleyeland P Plaln Dealer.
 Dolly-Molly Wolcott told me month ago that her new gown was going to be a dream. Polly-Well, that is all it Is, so far. Her husband won't give her the money for it.-Someryille Journal.
 And do you have to be called in the morning." asked the lady who was about to engage new girl. 'I don't has to be, num-" replied the applicant, unless you happens to need me- Yonkers Statesman.
 Your sentence is to be suspended" began the merciful court. Great Scott Jedge," exclaimed the prisoner, "ef I'd knowed chicken stealing was hanging offense I wouldn't have stoie." Philadelphia Ledger.
 "Whlch do you prefer" said the ar tistic young woman, music or poetry? Poetry" answered Miss Cayenne. You can keep poetry shut up In a book. You OOn nave lo llSleu to u uuleoo you choose"-Washlngto Star.
 Excuse me, sir remarked the weary wayfarer, but I don't know where my next meal is coming from" Neither do l." replied the prosperous looking individual. My cook left this morning. oo."-Philadelphia Record.
 "Oh, madam" said the French maid, "Fido weel not eat ze bon-bons." ''rhs dear, intelligent little doggle." exclaim- ed Mrs. Rich. There must be some thing wrong with those bonbons, Cloe Give them to the children."-New York Evening Mall.