davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30
Claims Extraordinary

The Georgian rises up to remark that the chief end of the Greater At lanta movement is to say to the world that Eve are bigger than Memphis. Birmingham and Nashville" Don't do 1t, for if you do say 1t you will be forced against your will into the chan cellorship of the Ananias club. Don't do it. You have no right to count red bugs and pismires, and the count of the living you desire cannot be secured among your chinquepin bushes in any other way.
 Population is based on something in this country Hot air and few insur- ance offices are not a sufficient founda- tion for a town bigger than Memphis, Birmingham and Nashville. It will be noticed that the conjunction is "and," not Cor"
 The Georgian should abate it's pop ulation claim until 1t can present some basis for it-some shadow of one at any rate. Mere assurance and hand full of dudish clerks here and there will not suffice. Something more sub stantial and appetizing is needed, and the Georgian has failed thus far to back up its claim with anything at all convincing. It is beginning at the top and building down, and it's air castle will tumble over as did it's sub-treas- ury.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30
Italians as Immlnrants.

If there Is objection in some quarters to Italian immigrants" said natural ized citizen, q am inclined to believe that the man who is kicking has seen only the worst side of the situation. Men who have tried Italian labor in this district express themselves as greatly pleased with the experiment and their only complaint appears to be that they cannot get more of them.
 q just received a copy of the London Daily Mail from my old home today and 1t contains a letter from a civil engi- neer, stationed in Upper Egypt. Here Is what the engineer has to say of his ex perience with Italians:
 Your South American correspondents letter condemning Italians in a whole sale manner cannot be taken seriously.
 I have had lot to do with Italians out here for nearly three years, and beg to state
 1. They are as good, ylrtuous, mo- ble and true as any other nation.
 9. They are well educated.
 g. Their standard of life and cleanll- ness keeps pace with their position.
 "A They work at a reasonable price.
 q" 5 and 6. They are excellent ma sons, carpenters, mechanicians and arti- sans
 2. They are independent enough to object to high-handed and bigoted inter- ference.
 ' S.aThey settle down for good in the country of their adoption, and only send home their earnings till they can afford to bring their families out to join them.
 ''9. They are religious and law-abiding, though hot-tempered and not prigglsh.
 My experience of Italians has been gained in actual work, not by interfer- ence in their private affairs.
 |" The whole policy of race exclusion is retrograde. illibera1 and un-British, and to generalse. from the particular to the general, as Mir orton has done, is H. locical' ;"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30
DOMESTIC SERVANTS.
From the New York Mall.

From the New York Mall.
 There are 4,sSS. .69o women In this coun- try, sixteen years and over, according to the census of 1900, who earn their daily bread The number has doubled in twenty years, and only nine occupations are now exempt. from womans presence. Less than quarter of these women are in domestic service This means that the servant girl problem concerns at first hand "a population of only about a mll- lion women.
 according to the census of 1900, cannot be more than 16,531, 628. that figure includ- Ing all married women as well as 2,717,S39 widows. It follows that only about one family in fifteen can keep a domestic servant. The servant girl problem con cerns, then only a small fraction of the population. It has assumed a fictitious importance because the women who write voice rather their own grievances than the general experience of their sex.
 Most wage earners in this country can not support two men. That Is prac- tical obstacle to polygamy, as we'll as to to the unversality of the servant girl problem. Only a small proportion of men can ever be employers. The same is true of women. Just as it is the destiny of most men to earn their bread directly by their hands or wits. so 1t is the destiny of most women to manage their house holds in person, with only occasional as- sistance
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30
CROWDS AT BALL GAMES

tribute a relatively small proportion of the baseball crowd. Still less is 1t made up of the gilded youth or retired bus mess men. Plain "loafers" cannot afford 10 cents or $1 an afternoon for mere amusement. The crowd which stands be- fore the downtown bulletin boards and cheers or groans passionately at the cold chalked-up figures of runs and put-outs
 Is easy to account for. It wanted to go 10 the game, and could not because it had to work. It does not even closely resemble ball field crowd externally. It's existence merely testifies to the fact that the national game permeates our national dife even In cloisters and offices where
 the actual ring of the wagon-tongue is unheard That the cleanest of all nro- fessional sports is the creation of the motly crowd that actually looks on. may De conceded only after the dark mystery .of that same crowds origin is cleared m.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30
YOU.

Unidentified. If I could have my dearest wish fulfilled And take my choice of all eartt's treas
 ures, too, And ask from Heaven whatsoe'ery
 willed,
 I'd ask for you. No mar I'd envy, neither low nor high Nor king in castle old or palace new I'd hold Golconda's mines less rich than I, If I had you. Foil and privation, poverty and care, Undaunted I'd defy, nor future woo having my wife, no jewels else I'd wear If she were you. Little I'd care how lovely she might be- How graced with every charm, how
 fond, how true Fen though perfection, she'd be naughi
 to me
 Were she not you. There is more charm for my true loving
 heart
 In everything you think or say. or do Than all the joys of Heaven could e'ei impart,
 Because it's you.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30


 semi-mountainous region and the under taking is, therefore. quite stupendous too much so, perhaps, to permit of its con- summation in these days when railroads furnish a better and much speedier mode of transportation.
 Alabama has always considered that the Tennessee river played 1t a sorry joke in not continuing it's course to the gulf in- stead of reversing it's direction and re- turning to the Ohio after having plainly indicated it's intention to go south. The river might. they say down there, have been a rival to the Mississippi if it had only joined it's waters with those of the Alabama and the Tombigbee and emptied the combined flood into Mobile bay
 The fact probably is that having passed through Tennessee the river had such ap- preciation of the favored region to which it afterwards gave its name. it was i'm pelled to reconsider its intention of seek ing the gulf and returned to the God loved land from whence it sprung.
 The proposed artificial waterway con- meeting the Tennessee and the Warrior was much talked about in years gone by. Col. John Witherspoon DuBose. a scholarly and public-spirited gentleman still resident in Alabama, we believe. agi- tated this and other canal projects in the newspapers of the state more than twenty years ago. The canal, if con structed, would be a great advantage to Birmingham, that is without water trans portation facilities. It would also bene- fit Knoxville and Chattanooga in furnish ing an all waterway to the gulf. but the benefits would hardly be commensurate with the expense of construction, and though Birmingham is a very enterprising city, this particular improvement is not likely to materialize. The slight that the Tennessee river gave to Alabama will not be artificially redressed.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30
VIRGINIA RESORTS.

From the Richmond Times-Dispatch.
 q am glad to learn that the wealthy pleasure seekers of the east have come to appreciate the mountain resorts of Virginia" said a member of Birming- hams Virginia colony to an Age-Herald reporter.
 Virginia Is a state of blessings. Out siders do not know what we have, be- cause we have been slow to advertise. Our motto for the next ten years or so should be Exploitation.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30
WHAT HE FOUND.

From Bon Vivant.
 Bellejambe-you remember that louis you lent me last year?
 Passepartout ohopefuD-Yes.
 Bellejambe-Well, yesterday, on putting my hand into the pocket of an old coat. found
 Passeparout-My louis?
 Bellejambe-No, the hole through which I lost If la
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Argues for Laroer Police Force.

Never was the need of a larger police force more clearly exemplifed than dur ing the past week" said public-sprited citizen yesterday. "The present force, in- cluding all supernumeraries. have been on double duty, thus doubling the strength on account of unusual circumstances.
 The city has been closely patroled, and the police have been especially care full to detect and stop any slight disre- gard for the law. Yet the past week has probably been one of less trouble, fewer crimes, and more general good behavior, than ever before. While just after the saloons were opened from the four days dry period, drunks were numerous, they were arrested so quickly that they were not allowed time to raise trouble.
 "Robberies and disturbances of all kinds have been nipped in the bud. and that, too by policemen who were overworked, and tired. The very presence of the doa- ble force on the streets has suppressed crime. Men always keep clearer head and caln1er voice when a bluecoat is In hearing.
 'Or course InlS Will cut d0Wn the nnes in police court. Protection of the public is not supposed to be 8 self-supporting department, but the people are willing to stand for the bill. They want their lives and property under the strctest safe- guard, and no kick will ever be raised against the enlargement of the police force.
 q think that the need for an increase has been so clearly shown this past week that the proper steps toward a permanent increase of the force should be taken im- mediately. We do not only need it now, but during every day of the year"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30
REFORMED BASEBALL.

From the St. Louis Post-Dispatch. pir.e.
 T beg your pardon, but he seemed to be out" said the field captain, saunter. ing in from short.
 "A thousand pardons, but he beat the throw about a yard" the umpire insisted.
 The base runner was called up and the umpire took Bible out of his pocket and swore him.
 Now, were you out?' asked the um- pire.
 q was" the base runner, admitted whereupon the audience fell to talking of the old days of lies, fines and arbitrary decisions.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
From the New York Press.

From the New York Press
 Nearly everybody is honest unless he gets caught.
 A gambler is the fellow who gets your money at it.
 A woman could never like freckles un- less they cost fortune to have.
 The difference between a quaint trick and an ugly habit is whether your child or somebody elses does it.
 When man in a street car objects to child. rubbing its muddy feet all over his trousers. every woman in the car knows he has bad heart.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30
BACK TALK.

From the Philadelphia Press.
 "The learned counsel for the defense, ' scornfully announced the plaintiffs at torney, appears to be afraid of losing his case No? Then why isn't he ready to go on?'
 i've got good excuse" retorted coun- sel for the defense.
 T don't believe it. Ignorance of the law excuses no one"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30
---e'-------------- AlDRICH ANECDOTE

From the Boston Herald.
 Editor Bliss Perry of the Atlantic tells 1t of his predecessor, Thomas Bailey AL drich, that he always kept a pipe and a red Irish setter in his office Once the setter ate up a sonnet
 How should be know 1t was doggerel?" exclaimed Aldrich, passionately
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30
STRANGERS NOW.

From the Chicago News.
 Mrs. Newcome-My husband has been a collector of curios and old relics for . number of years
 Mrs. Knox-1ndeedl I have often won dered why he married you
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

Mere man begins to see his finish as a legislator in Finland, where nine teen women have taken their seats in the diet chamber at Helsingfors.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

Among other duties. Abe Hummel will push wheelbarrow every day while serving his sentence in prison. It is pity that he is not husky enough to be put on the rock pile.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

The straw.hat season opens and closes with distressing suddenness, The straw hat and the derby alternate, but not with any degree of regularity or good feeling.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

The headquarters of the order of undesirable citizens is San Francisco. It has them by the thousands, and they are all Japanese haters.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

Caruso is to receive $200,0O0 year for the next four years. It will never be known how much of this salary is
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

Lightning struck a woman who was singing In an Indiana church choir. She wasn't killed, but the lesson will probably cure her of trying to sing.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30
WORTH THE PRICE.

From the Sheffield Reaper.
 It took an earthquake to jar the San Francisco bosses loose from the spells, but 1t begins to look like good invest ment
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

Husbands in a South Dakota town have made 1t a misdemeanor for any woman to play whist. They have their work cut out for them, all right.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

Alfonso, Jr., has not yet been made an admiral, not even an honorary colo nel. What are the other nations doing these days?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

Webster Davis, who once lived in Kansas City, is now doing the act in Seattle, Wash, where he is posing as a lawyer instead of statesman.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

The votes cast in the New York mayoralty election of 1905 are to be recounted, and this will make or break Mayor Mcclellan.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

London has balloon that carries fourteen passengers, and it has an up per or promenade deck. There are few promenaders, however.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30
I'VE WAIk.n

From the Columbus Ledger.
 Birmingham has a street car strike, and it Is causing many persons to take more exercise than usual.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

Two hundred water wagons are re. ported to be on the streets of Boston and the only persons riding on them are the drivers.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30
PRESS POINTS

Atlanta Journal: General Kurolxi had to be strapped in New York as the street cars were full.
 Nashville Tennessean; The mosquito fleet of Boston attacked General Kurokl and succeeded in wounding him in the arm.
 Pensacola Journal: They may talk about republican dissension in Ohio, but Taft will get the solid republican delega- ton nevertheless.
 Louisville Courier-Journal: The spring of 1907 will be historic as the one during which weather didn't give the young mans fancy a ghost of show.
 Dallas News: Col John w Gates Is respectfully invited to forego his intended trip to France and stay a year in Texas, where his language needs no interpreter.
 Shreveport Times: A convention of "hoboes" has just been run out of a Wisconsin town by the police. The Tho boes" probably preferred this to being run in.
 New Orleans Item: Senator Pettus of Alabama says he's tired of the Browns vile investigation and wants it closed. If the senator will only shove a few knockout drops into one Foraker, he will be gratifying his wish and earning a niche in the Temple of Fame.
 New Orleans Times Democrat: A mill lionaire star boarder who had paid his bill regularly for thirty years was thrown out of a western hotel for mak- ing himself disagreeable to the tran sient guests The sublime moral cour- age of a landlord capable of such action is worthy of the widest and highest praise.
 Memphis Commercial-Appeal: If folks won't call "copycut'' after us, we, too, could rise to remark that we know a democrat who can win, and he doesn't live east of the Alleghenies," but does "live south of the Ohio" There, now, if democracy wants a southern president, we are prepared to disclose the identity of our man.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30
HOW WE STAND.

From the Columbus Ledger.
 Birmingham is willing for Atlanta to have monopoly on hot air If the Magic City can control the more substantial things.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

The good feeling of this country to- wards Japanese made manifest in the honors heaped on Baron Kuroki.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

In Paris Corey is considered the blackest of the black sheep, and he is kept busy in avoiding notoriety.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

IL grew warm in Wyoming early in the week and Tuesday the Boomerang said He haw' to the coal men.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

New York poetess asks, What is kissF' and Wyoming editor wants to know If she is from Missouri.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30
WYOMING NOTES

From the Denver Post.
 The soda water season is on again in Thermopolis and society is all agog
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

Efforts are being made to secure enough money to build an opera house in Sher- idan. s
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

Two games out of three will do if the pace be well maintained.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

man with a homemade automobile appeared in Laramie the other day on his way from Denver to Nevada.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

Millionaires are losing by evapora. tion millions they never had.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

Mir Prick denies that he will erect a s5,OOO,OO0 art academy in Pittsburg. A first-class evangelist is needed more.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

The harmless little farvoite-son booms are cayorting over the country.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

General Kuroh seems to have poor opinion of Captain Hobson's war pro- gramme. to say nothing of his big navy nrOiect
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

This country needs fewer diyorcees and no Coreys.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

The Presidents controversy with certain naturalists is one that the country will be glad to see ended.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

We are informed that MT. Doolev waa relieved to find that it was a boy at old Madrid. However, MT. Dooley's relief was hardly greater than that of the prophet who had predicted boy. 'aThe London press takes Ellen Terrv.s third marriage very sweetly, indeed" says a contemporary. That is just the way Ellen takes it.
 The tall girls fashionable this year and the short man has to climb for a kiss
 DOLCE FAR INFINITE.
 If all were free
 To you and mo,
 Without a bill to pay,
 It wouldn't break
 A man to take
 A two-weelzs holiday
 And wear the best.
 As for the rest,
 We shouldn't greatly care
 How big @ show
 We made, you know,
 While loa1ng here and there! Kansas City bibulant who was being conducted home by friend about good morning declared that his wife hardly eFoR AOSt nef temper. unfortunately, this was one of the times when she saw fit to lose her temper and the late celebrator Is now laid up for repairs.
 LOVES RETREAT. Go where the roses bloom, And by a cottage door YouH catch glimpse of happiness Unrealized before. man has just been sentenced to the penitentiary for eight years for stealing a peck of apples. In his case justice seems to have been not only blind, but deaf and dumb as well. Danger lends zest ito life and some- times puts sprightliness into dignified old gentlemen who never dreamed they had 1t before. Watch one sidestep an auto- mobile!
 Kansas man 75 years old has married again so he can have some one to read to him. Before long his wife will prob ably read him a lecture. The sea of life looks like a mill pond to the self-sufficient graduate.
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

Very few people will care to be the ice man unless warm weather comes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

Baseball is a noble outdoor sport when the home team wins, and an ignoble one when it does not.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

Arkansas next governor may be Xenophen o. Pindall, who may yet reach the White House.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

The price of graves is going up in Pittsburg. No wonder people hate to die.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

Spanish baby's sake that the royal nurse will not have to use all it's royal titles when she is calling in a hurry for the paregoric.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

Annston Hot Blast: A recently de- ceased Boston lady willed her servant sS,o00OOO. Clip this out and show 1t to your cook
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

The Taft boom trusts to spontaneity the Fairbanks boom to the present May weather.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30
ALABAMA PRESS

Mobile Herald: Pie" said a Baltimore doctor, Ifs one of the greatest enemies of the human race" Down with piel
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

/. The Wyoming Tribune is of the opinion that 1T Jonah didn't explore in the in- terior of the whale he had a mighty good press agent.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

President Cabrera is bloody enough to deserve a bureaucratic appointment in Russia.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

The octopus is kept busy nowadays handing up fines and meeting indict- ments.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

It is stated that chorus girls always had remarkable attraction for cer- tain young millionaire They do say that some of them are remarkably attractive.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30
BRACE UP.

BRACE UP.
 Plunge into the fun and frolic
 Hasten where the laughers are! Urban life or scenes bucolic
 Sunny smiles will never mar. In the whirlpools and the eddies
 Look for joy and find 1t there Emulate the rough-and- -readies-
 They're the chaps who never careI The price of graves Is going up in Pittsburg. No wonder people hate to die!
 It is stated that chorus girls always had a remarkable attraction for a cer- tain young millionaire. They do say that some of them are remarkably attractive. "A nice rain fell here last night about 9 o'clock" says an Alabama contem- porary. In fact. 1t was the best behaved rain the town has had in a long time,
 WEDDING BELLS. Behold the bride. the bushing brids, The queen of hearts, the nations pridel How rarely sweet, how sweetly fair, With orange blossoms in her hairl How doth the congregation crane It's Iecks to see and, hark, strain Of Mendelssohn comes from above To sound the ecstasy of lovei Oh, what a sight it Is to see Her walk in maiden modesty And every bridesmaid with a smile That would the very gods beguilel Oh, yes, there's one who's most forgot, The bridegroom's there upon the spot. He's small potatoes, yet, I ween, Is needed to complete the scenel ''Schmitz may go to jail" says a head line. Ir the words of one who knew all men, " 'Tis oonsummation devoutly to be wished for"
 The fish liar was the original nature faker.
 No zoologioalagarden would be complete without Chancellor Day.
 SANS HEARTACHE. SANS CARE. No matter how sad the world may be- How cold and dark 1t seems, We may still wander, fancy free.
 In the beautiful land of dreams. An Indiana girl named Katy ran away the other day to get married and a spank ing was the punishment for what Katy did.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

New York Is enjoying a governor who governs.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

Dallas News: Col. John W. Gates Is respectfully invited to forego his intended trip to France and stay a year in Texas, where his language needs no interpreter.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-30

Anniston Star: A fire at Pen City Sat urday destroyed the dispensary and an ice cream parlor. This is getting rid of refreshment joints without discrimination at any rate.