davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-12-01

with both hands tied behind his back
and all his teeth pulled out. | make
no doubt, Larry, that our mutual father
II refer to Adam-Went right on his
blind and foolish way referring TO Eve
as the weaker sex after she'd been re-
sponsible for getting him fired out of
his old job and was teaching him how
to make decent living for the family
in the new one. No, sir. we fell into
the habit of calling them the weaker
sex several thousand years before the
lady animals showed the gentleman
animals how to march up Noah's gang
plank and we've kept il up ever since
for the same reason that Jim Corbett
refused to concede that Fitz hit him
fair wallop that time out at Carson
City.
Il had an uncle once, Larry, a large,
fine, strong man that belonged to all
the secret orders that are named after
beasts and birds and ran a coal Office
when he wasn't looking after business
at the lodge. He had a very impress
sive way about him. When ne said il
was a fine day it sounded like some
body starting to read the Declaration
of Independence and when he unbut-
toned his vest it made you think of
opening the doors of an engine house.
Well, one wet night he came home
from a lodge social suffering from a
severe attack of alcoholic gherkins and
carrying a heavy supply of the kind
of dignity that such a cargo so often
generates in the bosom of man. His
wife met him at the door. She was
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-12-01
ga Mr.. Dooley on Football

saults on tn almost equally wicked
lookin' thug again him, filled me with
an horror. Pitchers took iv
him afther tn game, or assault with
intint to kill, show him somewhat aged
but still full iv wickedness.
''Whin l heerd that this here dhread-
full person was comm to Chicago to
wurruk 1 was afraid to go on Twin
here. What was a little quiet hamlet
like Chicago with it's ridiculous records
iv on'y eight murdhers per capita to do
if such a disturber iv tn peace was
thrown into our midst? 1 thought iv
sendin' a circular letter to tn neigh
borhood iv Leavy's Patch, to warn thin
iv tn comm iv this wicked an tur-
rble orather. 1 Wondered if tn polls
wud be able to cope with him if he
got into a rage. Ivry night I closed
up arly an wint to bed with an axe
an a revolver alongside me.
"Weli, one day Hogan came ill here
with a kind iv a tall boy with curly
hair. who thripped over his feet, an
smoked a cigareet. He ordered sher
ry cobbler Bein' all out iv sherry cob
blers, l give him a glass iv white pop.
Thin l took Hogan aside an says l..
What dye mean be disgracin this re-
spectacle establishments What aE-re
We talkin about?' says he. How dare
We bring children into this placer says
1. I've been runnin' this store FIR years
an this is the first time amy infant
has liver crossed the dure step. Are We
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-12-01
BY HARRY IRVING GREENE.

back as if | had been hit i'm the face
with a mailet, for down the steps came
the prettest girl l had seen since the
night I vanished over the western hori-
Zon. Tall and Gibson, swapping black
eyes and lips like the heart of a water
melon, she was a thoroughbred from
the bottoms of her French heels to the
pearl shells at the tips of her white
fingers. My mask fell off, but 1 was
too ratified 10 care. so ! just stood there
with my mouth open and stared like a
reUb. oh" said she gathering her
skirts and settling before me as if
had been the Punjab of Swat. What
a fine looking gentleman" Red began
to swear low and sweet, but Alfalfa
whinneyed outright.
'.Ain't seen me with my binders off
yet lady" he called, beginning TO climb
down. had covered him before he
made three steps.
Now you whoa You may stand
there and stomp your feet and look
wstful, but that's all" I said in set
tones. Alfalfa stopped and appeared to
mediate.
Sorry to rob you without an intro
| ductiOn, miss. but I'll have TO trouble
you for that lovely solitaire" 1 began,
clearing my throat and beginning to
smile that made my hair pull and COM
menced twisting the band off where
is the tree?" she asked. looking around.
Now, you stop it. That amt fair,
| blurted, turning as red as a diamond
| flush. Then before l remembered the
| guile of female kind she got the ring
off and dropped it plump down her
neck. There" said she satisfied like
Il guess that is safe anyway"
| 1 leaned up against the wheel and
| looked at her as she stood there laugh
| ing in my face. ! knew that Alfalfa
and Red would have shot me so full
of lead that my corpse would have
weighed ton if l had laid finger on
her. and of course l would have done
as much for them with equal pleasure
\ She knew it, too, and she kept on
| laughing.
! Red and Alfalfa had sneaked down
and were on either side of me ready
for quick movements. She looked from
one to the other of us. Il had thought
that highwaymen were always coarse
brutal men and not at all like"
| Me" Clipped in Red, stripping of
4 his mask and bending over like hinge
His face was streaked and blOtched I'M
| til it looked like an ink blOtter, and al
the sight she laughed like the tinkle OF
silver bell.
, NO. not at all like you. But / am Sc
glad you gave me an opportunity to
get out of that dusty old coach. 1t Is
such a relief" She gave her skirts d
| firt and then frOwned a little. Mr.
Robber. please make that poor mar
stop running around the coach. He Is
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-12-01

Tn next year 1 wint to wurruk. But
1 read all about it in the pa-apers-
About tn beginnin' Nv September
I'm goin' through me pa-apers an l
cast me eye on pitcher an say: Wei,
this is sthrange. Why have they put
tn criminal news here instead Nv on
tn front page Tn iditor that did that
will be fired. On lool1in' closer see
that tn phottygraft is wan iv Clarence
DoolittIe. the demon half-back in tn
Yale fut ball team. He's tur-rble
lookin' fellow. In age he appears to be
about forty-five. He may be younger,
but a life iv crime an hardships has
marked him with crool lines. He was
Evidently pursood be the polls through
forest an swamp an brought to bay.
He is standin' in front iv tn camera
intint on seIlin' his life as dear as pos
sibIe. A desprit charackter' says l.
If | iver meet Clarence Doolittle i'm
dark place I'll give him wide berth
says ].
/ Watch MS career, AplSLlAi IVY N"S
to read that he has burglariZed Prisl-
dint Hadley's hen house or attacked
Professor Sumner with a coupling pin.
But all read is that Clarence Doolittle
may not be able to play because he has
tn measles or that tn faculty amt sure
that they can let Clarence Doolittle go
into tn game because he fell down tn
other day i'm an attimpt at a forward
pass on spellin' or Biography. This on
settles me d good deal because | can't
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-12-01
The Hotel Clerk and the Weaker Sex

ness have yielded to the lure of those
depraved creatures known as true
music lovers. They stand it as long
as they can, sleeping when the Orches
ira win let 'em and swearing when it
won't, and then they flee madly to the
nearest life saving station and hoist
the red ball as a sign that it's time &c
go ska ting.
DO you remember last summer,
when the hot wave and the princess
gown were having their vogues at the
same time? On those sultry evenings
when the asphalt turned into chewing
gum that's just been chewed and you
and 1, reaching for Ours handkerchiefs
found our pockets full of perspiration,
the ladies of our great city were pad
ding up and down Broadway wearing
nice cloth frocks that fitted into them
like the peeling fits into the pawpaw,
with wells hanging down between their
faces and any breezes that might be
stirring and they looked perfectly cool
and comfortable; and what's more
they were. Coming down to the imme-
date present, suppose you go out on
the street at this moment and look EN-
over?"
IT'S too cold to be standing round
outdoors tonight" said the House De-
tective. This here overcoat l got on
is purity light for night when there's
snow Oh the ground and ice formin'."
You think So" said the Hotel Clerk
pityingly. "Pampered weakling that
you are, you think so. Well, if you
only felt strong Nlough to enfold your
feeble fraIa ~ eSat thin and insuffi-
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-12-01

making himself positively ridiculous
you stop that running" ] yelled at
him, raising my gun. You ought to be
ashamed of yourself. Climb that bank
and lie down and pant yourself to
DEATH So up he went while l apollo
gizcd for him.
And that poor little man trying to
stand on his head and tumbling over
all the time. Really il has ceased to be
amusing" In a second Alfalfa had him
by the neck and was kicking him after
the other man. THAT is much better.
] thank you very much, Mr. Bandit
she went on as sweet as a jug of rock
and rye. Immediately Alfalfa began to
strut.
What happened next came as sud-
denly as the telling. There was a roar
from behind and down the gulch came
a bank of water ten feet high, while
back of it the gorge was a seething
millrace. "ClOudburst!" | yelled, grab
bling her by the arm and making for the
side Choctaw snatched up the reins
and larruped the horses into run and
the next second I was going down
stream on that tide like a chip, my arm
around her waist and hers around my
neck. waterIogged to my throat, strang-
ling. drowning, deliTiOuS with JOY. But
about five minutes later we drifted INTO
q landing place and j iiIJed nef Out
Then Red came crawling up all one
smear of ink and soon afterward Al
faIfa went by on a log with all sails
set. But. of course with his usual luck
he found port further down and came
back to US overland.
We built a couple of fires, one for US
and about 100 yards away another for
her, while Red fished a Navajo blanket
out of the burst. Then we fixed up
screen for her and drew a dead line. In
a couple of hours we we're as dry as
the state of Kansas and the darkness
was falling thick and fast. We hadn't
caught a glimpse Of our prisoner since
the blanket went up, nor heard from
her, either, but now that silver bell
voice came through the gloom. Won't
you come over to my fire, gentlemen
!. Would we come? 1t was a stampede
with a heartbreaking finish 1 first, Al
falfa a neat second, with Red hanging
on to his eoattaiI like a bull pup with
the lOckjaw. She was perched on a big
rock beside the blaze with the Navajo
around her. And sweet and tempting2
with a sharp stick and toasted il before
the fire if she had asked me to. There
was another rock close alongside the
one she was sitting on, and the moment
Red and Alfalfa spatched me off of il
II had a presentment that there might
be trouble. But she settled it easily
enough.
please don't quarrel, gentlemen"
Continued on Page 8.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-12-01

make out why a vicious, middle-aged
criminal shud be botherin' his head
about thin simple childish pursoots.
Think iv man with that tur-rble MUIR
dhrous face thryin' to bound Alaska
What Professor wud dare to conthra-
diet him if he said Alaska was bound
on tn east be BeIoochystan an on tn
south be Boolgahrya? He'd surely
dhraw knife on him. But anyhow,
Clarence gets through all right to play
tn game.
Maybe tn chief coach goes up an
says he'll put a head on tn professor
iv pollytickal economy if Clarence isn't
in tn game. Maybe IN professor iv
pollytickal economy reflects that if a
man can raymimber that eight-twinty-
ee-nine-seven-siX means that he
must wipe off his bloody nose, run
three steps to tn right, knock down a
man, fall on his face, pretind to have
a fit, get up, slap tn empire. catch tn
ball, jump back with it, pretind to lose
it an thin kick it, has as good head
as a man that believes that tn panic
iv eighteen fifty-siyen was caused be
havin' too much curled hair in tn cur
rency.
"Annyhow whin l pick me pa-aper 1
see that Clarence is in again, an it
seems that he's put aside all childish
pursoots an has gone back to his evil
life that showed in tn first phottygraft
His tur-rble rushes through tn line,
his fiendish tackles, his demonyac as
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-12-01

- ''WeH, sir" said Mr.. Dooley, ''Th'
tut ball season is over an the cham
poems has been declared"
''Who won?" said Mr.. Hennessy.
III looks as though Yale, nesting un-
dher tn elIums iv Moo Haven had pro-
iooced tn most vicious band iv schol-
ars," said Mr.. Dooley. AS usual this
here summary ~ meditation as Hogan
calls il, has developed a supeeyor group
~ assassns. But / Wudden't say amy
thing again ayther wan, iv tn other
great schOlastick institutions. The rig
orous coorse iv butting in tn stomach
conducted be Professor Mugs iv
Princeton CEx-heavy eight champeen
iv Moo Jersey has enabled tn riprisin-
tatives iv that staid an solid support
iv Jawn Calvin to give a new glory 10
tn doctrines iv predustynation. As FIR
Harvard, her colors have not been low
cred as far as / can see. Her defeat
of Smith $50 an iv tn Orthopedic
Hospital 60 shows me that this dear
I'D almy mather iv Thaydoor Rosenfelt
an others who shall be nameless if he
has his way, is still a power in fut
ball.
Dear me, I'm gettin' TO be quite a
college fellow through readin tn news
papers i'm tn fall, Hinnissy. " a man
runs a saloon an reads all the news
papers firm end to end, nawthin human
or inhuman. as Hogan says, is foreign
10 him. Ye take fut ball. l niver play
ed fut ball since l was eight years old.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-12-01

mostly held together by the power OF
moral sudsiOn, aided by d few pins
here and there. She'll have her
hair built up like the hip-roof on a
new court house and spiked down with
eight hundred hair pins. She'll have a
hat that weighs nine pounds, net.
She'll have nothing much for her
hands TO do except to carry a hand
kerchief, hand bag, a pOcketbOok and
parasol, and hold her skirts up and
reach back every now and then to see
if her placket is smiling at her behind
her back and keep her bracelets up on
her arms properly. Thus equipped
she'll go out and fight her way aboard
a crowded car without ruffling a fea-
Their and ride down town and walk up
and down Twenty-third street eight or
nine miles and come home fresh as
daisy, looking just as she did when she
started
Because she has an o,~~essed feel
ing when she crowds herself into q cor
set that's three inches smaller around
the waist than she is, she decided she's
got indigestion and ought to diet So
she takes a raw egg and a pinch OF
bird seed for breakfast, a great gross
of marshmallOWs for lunch and lobster
mayOnnaise and a cold boiled ham for
dinner and the next day she announces
that she's completely cured. What
man do you know that could duplicate
these feats
Larry. are you converted to tho
truth? You are? Then let us now
drink your original toast-'to the weak
er sex-Ourselves.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-12-01
By z. p. Dunno
Copyright 1901, by II. H. Mcclure & COD

to go at each other an who will judge
tn scrap. Nineteen officyals are finlly
chosen that both sides will lagree won't
throw tn game. Thin tn preparations
begin. Old men ARE summoned firm
far an near to direct tn proceedings.
Night afther night they set up in sol
emn cOnclave an figure out how their
crowd iv infants can skin tn other nur-
sery. Professor don't ye think that if
we cud get thin two big Luffell boys
to pick up that little light haired fellow
i'm tn first reader class an hit the en-
pire with him while some one else took
'twud be a good play?' I'm afraid it
might not wurruk,' says tn professor.
1t wud be betther to have eight or nine
balls thrown on tn field be tn faithful
alumni. This would tind to confuse tn
inimy.' L have devised a play here
that shud wurruk, says another of the
coachers. AT the wurruds two-ninety
cube root iv eight plus the cosine iv
twenty-five spoken in low but impery-
Gus voice tn right end will-well,
frgit what tn play is now but amy
how that Junk head of a quarther back
can't masther it. / told it to him yes
terday an he said this mornin' that
he'd sat up all night thryin' to add it
up an it made his headache
An whin tn game comes to be
played TIL little boys are out in tn
field an tn vin'rble promoters are set
tin on tn side tellin thin what to do.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-12-01

crazy that we don't know there's a law
again sellin' liquor to minors. or are We
polls spy?' Dye know who that is?'
says he. I do not. says I. but may've
gone to school with his grandfather.
says l. Can't We guess?' says he. I
don't want to-. says l. 4 niver was
good at namin' infants 'Well.' says
he, L knew 'twould surprise We. That
is Clarence DooIittIe, demon half-baek
iv tn Yale fut-bal team. His uncle
got him job at tn office at tn mills,
says he. The boys call him F'lossy,
says he. Well says 1, he'll have to
roll his hoop out iv here says 1. This
is no crache,' says l.
Wei, sir, It's a funny thing, this
here fut-ball. Here are a lot of chill
dher that want to play a game iv kick
in an runnin' with a ball. IT'S a
pleasant game an if they want to
punch each other in tn eye in the
coorse iv it, all right says l. tbs nacha
raj FIR tn young to want to carry or
kick or knock a ball as far as they can
an tits equally nacharal for thin to
want to whack anybody in tn eye who
gets in tn way iv tn ball. Well and
good, says 1. But ivry year just as tn
childher ARE gettin' ready to play their
little childish game in their little child
ish way there's a great disturbance in
all our principal caves iv larnin'. The
faculties hold long meetin's an vim
ra BILE gintlemen gather behind closed
dures an debate how tn kids ought
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-12-01

Did ye slip tn Ratchet to tn center
rush?' Yes tn foolish boy frgot it.
He has no head FIR games. / hope you
didn't omit to tell tn right guard that
a couple of good punches in tn Stats
Will do FIR tn Smith boy. He looks an
aemic to me- An so they set combin'
their boards with their hands durin'
tn game an between tn halves wan w
thin goes an tells tn losers what he
thinks iv their parents Hogan says he
heerd tn rousty-bout on a canal boat
answerin' tn captain back III other
day. Don't talk to me that way says
he Indignantly. I've never been to
Yale he says.
Il haven't been able TO get up as
much Interest i'm fut-ball since / larned
it wasn't played be tn murdhrous ruff
fyans that l see tn pitchers iv in tn
pa-aper, but be old gintIemen who fig
ured out VARIOUS forms of assault an
batthery, an deception f'r childher to
practice on each other. If / had me
way I'd have all tn games preceded be
match between tn coachers. TIL old
gintlemen shud put up their whiskers
in nets. lay aside their wigs an false
teeth, lash their eyeglasses firmly To
their noses an go in FIR two man-minyit
halves"
Il think our young fellows take their
games too seriously" said Mr. Hem
messy.
Il don't know about that but l know
US old fellows do" said Mr.. DOOley
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-12-01
BY IRWIN S. COBB.

Copyright, 1907, by H. H. Mcclure & Co
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-12-01

Continued on Page 8.
The daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1906-1907, 1907-03-12
Notice OF Application to Appropriate
The Public Waters of the State
of Nevada

'~S VI cPPHCdtIon 10 appropriate
The Public Waters of the State
Of Nevada.
Notice is hereby given that on the
1st, day of December, 1906, in accord
anec with Section %, Chapter XLVI.
of the Statutes of 1905, one Western
Nevada Electric c mpany of Carson
City, County Of Ormsby and State of
Nevada made application to the
State Engineer Of Nevada for permits
sion to appropriate the public waters
of the State of Nevada. Such an
plication is to be made from Ash
Canyon Creek at points n. E. "a Of
S. w. Il Sec. 10, T. Is n, r. 10 E
by means of dams and cubic feet
per second is to be conveyed to points
y. E. "a of S. w. Il Sec II, T. Ism,
R. 10 E. by means of flume and pipe
lines and there used for generating
electric power The construction of
said works shall begin before May
l, 1907 and shall be completed on or
before May 1, 1908. The water shall
be actually applied to a beneficial
use on or before May 1,'19O9.
Signed: HENRY THURTELL
State Engineer.
Date of first utilization, Dec. 2,
The daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1906-1907, 1907-03-12
SAVINGS DEPARTMENT.
The State Bank and Trust Company

The State Bank and Trust Company
On the first day of 1907, The State
Bank and Trust Co., will open Saw
ings Department, which will receive
deposits in any sums, upon which
interest will be paid at the rate #
three and one half per cent per an
mum. Its facilities are unoxcelled IN
the State of Nevada, and its Banking
House in Carson City has been re-
Gently enlarged and reftted to meet
the growing requirements Of its bust
ness. .4..,.t .-,t d.17tf.
The daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1906-1907, 1907-03-12
BATHS

johnnie VieEa has now the finest
DatnS III the Ity running in connection
VAIN his barber shop. The appoint
ments make fathing at his place lux.
shaved there means q relaxation from
.ne cares that fret the day and q gen.
eral peace Of mind hard to get else.
where. q
The daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1906-1907, 1907-03-12
SHORTHAND IN THIRTY DAYS

Simple method of shorthand within
the reach of everybody. Easy to
learn and results satisfactory. Price
of the course 500.
Apply of Mrs. G. Warren Hull, =.
o. Box ia, Carson City, New.
Sir Conan Doyle is reported serious
ly i'll in London of ptomaine poison
ing
The daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1906-1907, 1907-03-12
DICK BRIGHTS

The resort has been thoroughly fl.
ted up for the coming OF the legisia-
ture ana aims to maintain the same
high standard that it has always main
tanned whether the legislature Is here
o not.
The daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1906-1907, 1907-03-12
NOTICE..

Ladies, 1 have just received new
Spring styles and samples in tailor
made suits, skirts, jackets, ETC., even
in Goa; {. specialt..-. Every garment
made to measure and satisfaction
guaranteed.
MRS. X. KNOWLES.
Representing the Leading Ladies
Tailoring Company Of Chicago.
Rooms 10, Arlington Hotel. 1w
The daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1906-1907, 1907-03-12

Whenever you wan. a real. good,
mixed drink. you must 90 to Dick
Bright's to get it. Others are good,
but these are better. Private card
and wine rooms help to enjoy them.
The daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1906-1907, 1907-03-12

Davey 4 Maish for fine candies.
The daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1906-1907, 1907-03-12

FOR RENT-LaFge brick store and
lick addition. situated opposite Cap
itol square. Carson City, Nevada.
Rent reasonable.
Peters Real Estate Agency.
Don't forget the. Eagles ball On
] February End. It will be something
worth going to.