The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1907-07-10
Strictly Confidential.

Deer Gents-My frien' Pab Slitz IS
the most disappointed genus 'omo that
ever watched Ticker trickle thru a wor-
rum. He went to Columbia durin' the
settin' of the Legislature to watch the
movement of our mutual Jonah, viz,
the Dispensary. Psb was shore that
we would get prohibition, so was l..
But as Jeems Finley or Norman Cam,
I disremember which, has said, 1.-THE
best laid schemes of rats and men gang
after glee." I dunno just what that
quotation means, but 1 know it fits me
and Pab.
I want to ask q favor Of you gents
an it ia this, for the sake OF peace and
tranquility don't say any more In Jour
paper that the proceeds Of the Dispen-
sary will pay for that Court House in
four year time. 1t amt necessary for
me to tell you my reasons, but I've got
'em, and good ones too.
I wish you would say more about
the school fund gettin' nothin' from
the Dispensary tho, Give it to 'em
good and proper. Put hot head lines
on it. Make the peece fry and sizzle
like a peece of Hog bosom on a hot
skillet. No money from the Dispen-
sary for skools Disgrace unparalleled
in the annals of history-Poor chillun
must suffer while the Dispensary
grows fat as a sun fish, ect. Make 1t
good and warrum.
Don't you tell the people of Able
vile County that that consarn will
make 500, 900 in four or five years.
They might take q fool notion that 1t
would knock them out of the. pleasure
of payin' taxes and if they ever got
such an idee into their craniums, good
bye to all mine and Pab's ,schens.
That's entirely too much money for the
Iconsounied consarn to make anyhow,
an if T was in Moosanski's or Fanny
Nickels or Tommy Prices shoes I'd
cut that gain down about seventy-ive
percent, so help me Pab, I wud Ten
| Barrooms at q high liscence of $1,000 a
peece would bring in $4,000 for the
lcity and that would be the greatest
plenty. Just think what a boom that
would give you're city ten, barrooms !
| Why store rent would 60 up 80 per
cent in as many days!
Now my Deer gents, if there ever is
Iany vacancy on the Board of Dispen-
lsary control I want every body in Alb
beville comfy to know that I'm a can
didate. I would'ent give three hoo.
rahs to 90 to the Legislature, or the
lSenate, or to be govurner but I would
shore like to get on that Dispensary
Board.
You might study the politucol econ
omies of all nations till the letters run
in a branch before yore eyes and you
! would not find q single country from
Shady Grove to Madagascar that does
ent pay taxes, moreover, you would
find that q country is prosperous in
proportion to the tax 1t pays, barrin'
lone or two countries where the presi-
dents, kings, and things have them
things they call Harums. There the
ruler is surrounded by several hun
derd good lookin women an its moi
hard to tell where the money goes in
keepin' I'D such.an establishment-but
the rule holds good, prosperous people
nav heavy taxes. Now if that Dispen-
Isary should reduce taxes down to
nothin' the whole county would rot
with what Finley and the other poets
call %Innocuous Desuetude.
The Dispensary, Gents, is maxim
ENTIRELY too much money for the coun-
lty. It ought TO be cut down. I be-.
Ilieve l could do it, and If either Moo
sanski or Fanny Nickles or Tommy
Price should want 10 get out / want
YOU to let me know double quick By
the way If you can help me in any
way I would see that you loose nothin'
for your trouble.
Shorely the county won't let them
three have it more'n a year any way.
IF 7 could get on fur that time I'd b..
satisfied. I'm no Porker. I'd know
when I got enough.
Just on the @. V. Don't you think
that the present Board, the above
named Gents, be about the biggest ga
loots YOU ever met? They are lettiD'
that Dispensary make $4,000 a month
Or thereabouts, when $500 would be
the greatest plenty. Finley aud othei
poets say something about lost oppor-
tunities, which it ,eems that l cam
recamembrr just now, but which
would be q very apt quotation in this
connection.
There is another little matter [ wan,
to speak about. and it IL this: If IOre
esteemed periodical has got any inhu-
ence I want you to put q everlasting
stop to them Greenwood an Anderson
feliels a sneakin down here TO buy
Ticker. That's one thing that's makiE
The D, spensary prophits swell to sncl'
enormous proportions. At least on.
fourth of The ticker of Anderson anr
Greenwood Is bein bought at the Dir
pensa v. Anderson aud Greenwood
don't buy more'n fOur-fifths or five
sixths thpr Ticker from Augusta ami
and North Carliua. That ought not
to be. They ought to get all, every
drap, of ther Ticker ther.
What's the use of payin prophits t.
a blamed old Dispensary when there
be good men in Georgia and North
Carolina in the legitimate lick,r bust.
ness who are entitled to the patronage
of these counties but they are only
yettin five-sixths or ~six-sevenths of ii,
the Dispenssry is gettin' the rest. ]
know of numbers of men, good ~fellers,
who are maxim good money in Ander.
son and Greenwood on Georgia and
North Carlina Ticker, an you know
mighty we'll that with all the prophf
Moosanski, Nickles an Price are put
TIM on the stuff the dark room dealer
can't stand no more show than a ten
cent kid at q dollar circus. Now is
that right? Keep yore Dispensary
ticker at home. Don't be breakin'
down the business of good men in ad-
joining counties.
I was over'n Greenwood tother day
an a good ole frien' Of mine give me a
'culiar wink that I eve mistook in
all my life. You know the wink, a
kind Of half shut eye with a half jerk
q -a nliohk nnnIinn Of