davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1907-01-08

DIR. w. ]. MaGee, scientist, says
the future American will be taller.
stronger, more intellectual, more hui
manitarian and will live longer than the
American of today. This sounds good.
in. this doctors opinion, Rockefeller
is typical of the coming man.
John d. made New Years gift of
$S,O00,0OO to the University of Chi
cago. This brings his total benefac-
tons to this university up to $19,416,-
622. Part of this gift-$40,OOO-is to in
crease salaries of instructors. John
should be popular with the teachers
of North Dakota for this is what they
strongly advocate-increased salaries.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1907-01-08

DR.. Julian P. Thomas expects to be
able to furnish the public with a ma
chine planned to ride, glide, slide, float
or fly. Just the thing with which one
should be able to get out of any sort
of dilema. North Dakota should be a
good field for the sale of this machine
when perfected.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1907-01-08

1t is estimated that 100000 persons
are starving in China owing to the
failure of crops caused by excessive
rains while North Dakotans have had
such magnanimous crop they can't
get it off their hands. The Orientals
crying because they haven't enough
and the North Dakotans because they
have too much. Such is life. We are
never satisfied.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1907-01-08
Smashed Cutter,

An electric car on the Grand Forks
Transit company lines smashed into
a cutter belonging to OConnor Bros,
smashing it up, and injuring one of
the horses. The accident occurred be-
tween the city and the university.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1907-01-08
SECRETARY HITCHCOCK, NEMESIS OF LAND Thieves.

net has been secretary Of the interior since Feb
home Is st Louis which
than any oe place in the coun No has
Through his efforts the gigantic hes of public
discovered
now in his
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1907-01-08

Shakespeare said:
Who steals my purse steals trash,
'Tis something, nothing, twas mine, it's
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1907-01-08
Sentiment to be lnculcated.

Let reverence of law be breathed by
svery mother to the lisping babe that
the schools, seminaries and colleges;
lot It be written in primers. spelling
cooks and almanacs; let it be preached
!ative halls and enforced in courts Of
Justice. in short, let it me the
political religion of the natioa..
Abraham Lincoln.
The farmer and mechanic., 1907-08-13

Missy. He nfvcr felt so well In his
ufe' All right. III be over as soon
as can hitch up tn herss A@So
him away fr'm IN sa21er table NJ
vans,. give him n plpefuI ~ tobacco
An. walk him three times around IN
htcrs But whln 3 mans ~ck. he's
xter arr. nawth4f. viii cure him or
arnvthlnx viii In tn old days be-
Ire ve ar I were born. IN doctor
zsnn - barber too. lie s5sss Ne.
.annx n man have I known woh Mas
rive ye 4 6h-y shampoo an cure y"
ty appindlcitis while ye were haNin
ye'er shoes shinea os n 1"S -
gsnerat4on !v doctors has haa 'h"H
ravrate remedies Wanst people we're
cured IL fatal maladies be appleh-
tions iv blind puppies hair II ~ IN
skulls IS dead men an sotuRlons "
bats wings. Just rs now they Fe cu'od
be dhrsnkln a taysFoo"4e. y. ~ -.
Gus weed dissolved IN II bhruES.
says Dock O'I~ary. are little ~ a
piren that q little moro iv wud liI
yc. lie says that IL ye look up annTs
poplar dhruE in tn dttchnry Yen &C
that II Is A very powerful piren OF
great use In medicine. I took calome!
al his hands rr NANNY years I'll he
told me that Il was about the same
thing they put into Rough on Rats
Thin l stopped II I've got 10 die.
want TO die on tn premises.
But, as ne tells rle ye cant stop
peopie from takfn dhrur8 an &c
might as well give thin something
that viii look important enough 10 be
.nthrotuced 10 their Important an
fatal cold in IN head. II ye don't.
they'll leap Fr the patent medicines.
Mind yc. I haven't got a.lnythlng to
say again patent medicines. II n man
wud rather take thim thin drinks az
bar or go down 10 Hop Lungs fr a
long dhrr~. f.'~ v.'N'1
cut ye'er hair dye ye'er mustache,
victim ~ Ia t4GtC. IS a. q ,zet. .,..
The farmer and mechanic., 1907-08-13

what ails ye?" asked Mr.. Dooley
Mr.. Hennessy, who looked detected
I'm sick man" said Mr Hen
messy.
gested. ..
did beein tn day afther tn picnic, :"
said Mr. Hennessy. I've been 10 see
Dock O'Ieary. He give me this (pro-
ducing a bottle OF dark and sinister
locking Houid) an these here pills an
some powdhers besides. An dye
know, though l haven't taken amy iy
thin .-et feel betther already
well. sir" said Mr.. Dooley. tbs a
grand thing to be a doctor. man
that's doctor don't have to buy amy
funny papers to enjye life. tn likeS
iv We goes to a picnic an has pleas
ant, peaceful day In tn country
dancin' breakdowns an ldckin' foot
ball in tn sun an ivry fifteen minylts
or so washin' down a couple OF dill
.-iCI,les With q bottle Of white pop. Tn
next day ye get what's comm to ye in
tn right place an bein a sthrong,
healthy man that cuddent' be kilt be
anrvthfnc less thin q safe fallin' on We
firm a twenty-story buildin', We know
We ar-re goin' TO die. TIL good wo
man advises a mustard plasther but ye
scorn IN suggestion. What good wud
a mustard plasther be again this fatal
epidemic that is ragin' inside iv ye?
Besides a mustard plasther wud hurt.
So tn GOOD woman, frivilous crather
that she IS. goes to her wurruk
The farmer and mechanic., 1907-08-13
Mr.. DOOley ON Drugs
BY f. +. DtNNE.

singin' a light chune. she knows she, 3
goln' to have 10 put up with ye TT
some time 70 come. a mustard pIas-
ther. Hinnissy, IS tn real test iv Vheth
er a -,ala is gcin' 70 kill ye or not If
tn piasther is onbearable ye can bet
tn pain underneath IL is not lis tn
same thing through life. I've known
NANNY a broken heart 10 be cured be
a toothache or a whack on tn funny
bore.
"But ye know ye are goin' 70 die an
yer not sure whether yell send
Father Kelly or tn doctor. Ye finally
decide to save Sup Father Kelley TT
tn last an We sind fr tn Dock. HaV-
in rescued ye firm tn jaws iv death
two or three times before whin ye had
q sick headache tn Dock takes his
time about comm, but just as ye are
beginnin' TO throw ye'er boots a. tn
clock an show other signs iv what he
calls cigem mortar, he rides up in his
free horse an buggy. He gets out
slowly, one foot at time, bitches his
horse an ties q nose bag ca his head.
Thin he chats fr two hundred years
with tn polisman on tn beat. He tells
him a good story an they laugh
hanshly Whin tn polsman goes his
way tn Dock meets tn good woman
at IN dure an they exchange a few
wurrrds about tn weather, tn bad
condition iv tn streets, tn health "
Mary Arn since she had tn "ro'F0 IN
ye'ersilf Ye catch tn wurrudB, Grape
Pie Canned Salmon Cast-lron III
gestion.' Still he doesn't come up. He
The farmer and mechanic., 1907-08-13

;n. bottle into tn river. Ye feel BET
ther already Ye ought 20 write 20 u
medical journals about IN case 4" %
a remarkable cure Nr----f1 ~
lures IN the gastric regions followtae
an unusually severe outing IN N
country Fr t4me 81 looked as
thought IL might be Necessary 20 saw
out tn infected area but a. this ~u9
lave an ugly space between legs an
chin. IL was determined te apply Jam
VIII. tn remedy acted instantly
Afrhe- carrytn' tn bottle uneorkcd fT
FIVE nInyits IN his inside pocket. IN
patient showed Signs tv recovery an
is now again In his accus'ofnsd
health
Yes. sir, 1, was a doctor I'd be
avther iaurh!n' or cyyin' all tn time.
ia be iaughin' over tn cases inat
was called into when I wasn't needed
an cryin' over tn cases where / cud
do no good. An that wud be most ~
me cases
Dock o'Leary comes in here often
an talks medicine TO me eFs
u very trying pro-hssyon'
he Have ye had a good NANNY des-
prit cases today says /. 1t isn't
that says he. but I'm not very
muscular man. he says. an some "
tn windows in these old frame houses
are hard TO open. ne says In Do~k
don't believe much IN dhrugs. He
saws that II he wasn't afraid " losin
his practice he wudn't give annybody
anything but quinine an he isn't
sure about that He says tn more
he practices medicine tn more he be-
comes a janitor with a knowledge "
cookin' He says If people wud only
call him in befure they got sick, he'd
abolish ivry disease In III ward ex-
cept old age an pollyticks He says
he's docking forward TO tn day whin
tn tillyphone will ring an he'll hear
voice sayin': Hurry UP over 10 Hin
The farmer and mechanic., 1907-08-13

thing fatal2' I'm not ft 10 die. but tell
ne th' worst an I'll tfr-y 10 bear i,
'Well' says he, sye have a slight tuterf-
orit!s iv tn left foiiubular duck. But
this prescription ought 20 tx ye up
all right Ye'd better take * over 20
II drug store an have u filled ye'e--
self IN tn rnanetime Ia advise ye 10
be careful ~ ye'er dite. w-uddent ate
anything with glass or large per
cintage iv plasth@r - Paris II IL An
he goes away TO write his bill
Il wondher why ye can always read
a Doctors bill an ye nivver can read
his prescription F~r all We know IL
may be a short note TO tn druggist
askin' him 70 hit ye on tn head with
pestle An it's good thing yc can
read X. II ye cud, yed say: III NOT
cash that in at no dhrug store /.
go over 70 Dooley's an git IN re2I
thing SO afther thryin' TO deciPher
this here corner iv a dhress patthe-n.
ye climb into ye'er clothes for what
may be yeer last walk UP Ar-rchy
Road AS We go along ys begin TO
think that maybe IN Dock knows Te
have tn Asiatic cholery an was on!y
thryin' TO jolly ye with his manniv
dealin' with We AS ye get near tn
dhrug store ye feel sure iv 1t, an It's
with tn air IL man without hope
that We hand tn paper 70 young
pharmysict who IS r1txin' two-cent
stamp f'r q lady customer He hahds
it over 70 a promis.n' scientist who Is
compoundin' an ice cream soda for
child, with tn remark: OLearys
writing IS getting worse an worse.
can't make this out AT all oh says
tn chemist, layin' down his spoon,
that's his old cure for tn bellyache.
Yell find a bucket III il in tn back
room next to tn coal scutte.'
ITS a gr-reat medicine he give ye.
r viii DO We good no matther what ye
do with IT, l Wud first thry pourin'
some ~ il in me hair. II that don
help ye, see how far ye can throw
The farmer and mechanic., 1907-08-13

,eI;e q few stories 70 III childhe-- He
weighs tn youngest In his hands al
says That's q fine boy ye have. Mrs
tected-
HAanissy. I make no doubt he'll gro"
80 20 be a polisman- He examines
IN photty-graf. album an asks y that
isn't so-an'-no. An al TINS l-i4e
Law writin' in mortal agony an say
in. 10 ve'ersllf. In human monster
10 lave me perish here while he chats
with caIlous woman that maven
ssit anything but What" 10
twinty years.
'.Ye begin 70 think there's a conspir-
acy against ye 70 get ye'er beIure Ee
saunters into tn room an says ~
CAV tone: Well, what do ye name be
twin mn wan X tn gr-reae INDUSTRIES
iv cur nation by stayin' away IT N
wurruk fr a day. Dock says ye IN a
feeble voice, Il have a turrfble PAIN IN
me abddumdurn. II reaches fr n mere
to here maxim a rough sketch IL IN
burned district under tn blanket /
felt it comm on last night but didn
say anything for fear " alarmin' me
wife, so | simply groa1ed. says ye.
While We ARE descr.bin' ye'er parCs
he walks around tn room 'ookin al
tn pictures. Afther ye've got through
he comes over an says Lave me look
at ye'eT tongue. HIN, ne says, hold-
in ye'er wrist an bowin' through IN
window to a frind iv his on 2 sthreet
car Does that hurt he says, stab
bin we with his thumbs in the suburbs
" tn pain. 'Ye know it does says
ye with a g-oan. Don't do that again
Ye scratched me- He harris ye wrist
back at and stands a tn window
Iookin' out at tn f1remen acrost tn
sthreet playin' dominoes. he says
to We, an We feel like tn
prisoner while tn foreman iv th'
grand jury IS fumblin' in his inside
pocket for tn verdict. Ye can stand
it no longer. Dock, says We, is it any
The farmer and mechanic., 1907-08-13

There boys who at
destroy with desire be hnan that
" ma " that would Kill robin with his that
hidden
ntireyo on the mother bird
od with andnew sngho without
elders These where
kill Airguns
nshnc Of
But there making singshots BOYS
The farmer and mechanic., 1907-08-13

g oy boys anyway, done the most narf - study c
- , o range 1t takes only explanation 70 convince
blue f.s+h - u creature Just to the feathers OF
oi MS wings is healess as foolish selfsbness
cVerse the .,d -.
ss na OF bird just to tell whether bows had bue - brown
o nave however, exhibiting
canary they killed sang or N. bsc 5 fence
when bcv Lila -. suuu song by his pretty pus
but ts Hec hn1 that the stop never heard
'c, 70 examine his bright breast a.
thew would @ tax week would stop from dpredaton %
' "ou'u awake to the fact that life is a lise
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1907-06-19
FIRE AS A SOCIETY EVENT.

out Of the city on business hence the
affair will be quite a surprise to him
when be returns. Mrs. Blank gore q
light percale kimono and had her hair
done UP In kid curriers'.
The ilremen responded readily and
worked heroically to subdue the seeth.
ing flames. Most Of them were young
and fairly good loooking, They we're
dressed IN oilcloth coats cut short.
with trousers to match. Theit hat rims
we're narrow IN front and broad be-
hind and sagged down In the rear
The chiefs hat was ornamented with
an octagonal brass spike which stuck
up above his head like d horn. giving
him the appearance Of a unicorn.
When the flames broke out through
the second story and cast lurld hue
over the surrounding buildings the
view was enc never 10 be forgotten.
|At a late hour the slghsseers went
home and all felt that tSey had passed
an evening full OF interest ana excite.
ment
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1907-06-19
HAVE WLRY HAIR.

shaves members OF the Stillman.
Woodward, Rockefeller and Wander
bilt families. and says that in all his
experience he has yet 70 meet the
millionaire who wakes up In the morn
Ing with a crouch. Bischoff does
most Of his work at the homes Of his
rich patrons and at his basement
shop in Wall street during the day
lesser lights OF the financial district
drop in for shave, hair cut, oF sham
poo.
Bischoff can write check for 5000
600, and his signature win be honored
ln the great banking institutions with
celebrity .that will surprise his &C.
QuaIntances.
The other day at the shop. while
Iathering the face OF ten dollar a
week clerk. BlschoiI gave his daily
itinerary as follows:
4 get up every morning. including
Sunday. at six O'Clock. After shaving
myself, dressing. and partakIng of q
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1907-06-19

Head Of Family Undergoes Torment
to Help Wife Get Carpet.


Trenton, N. When the new rug
Is laid in Grace Baptist church, about
four yards Of it Viii be consecrated to
the fortitude pf Henry Lonsdale
Every thread represents a whisker
which Lonsdale submitted to razor
Welded by his wife.
Mrs. Lonsdale is member of the
Ladies' Aid society. which planned to
buy the church carpet on the self-de-
NAL plan There Is some difference OF
opirion on this point, the men assert
Ing that Lonsdale showed himself a
martyr. while the women are congrat.
aladng the wife.
While other women baked bread
and sewed, Mrs. Lonsdale decided she
would shave her husband, and charge
him IS cents for the operation. It il
not on record how LonsdaIe first re-
ce.vcd the proposition, but the fact
that he consented to act the victim
is proof that his wife has the true re-
ligious spirit.
For four months did Lonsdale 60
through the shaving process. He once
believed that shave once a day was
a necessity, but under the skillful
manipulation of his wife he discov.
cred that he could get along on three
shaves a week.
Only once did Mrs Lonsdale ask:
Does the razor hurtg He did not
swear; he did not groan. but the lcoR
Of anguish was enough.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1907-06-19
NEW HONOR 70 ROOSEVELT As
LoNc-DIsTANcE SHOT.
President Stands In Washington and
Makes a Fine Rifle Score In the
Opening Event for Marks
men In Charleston, S. c.

Charleston. s. C.-President Roose.
velt may congratulate himself on be-
ing the champion long-distance rife
shot Of the world. Standing in Wash
ihgton, he shot a rifle three times and
hit target each time in this city.
more than $50 miles away. While he
did not make bull's-eye, he yet man
aged to get within the "a circle twice
and the 81 circle once, and 50 scored
So out Of a possible score Of rs, a
vely creditable performance for a
person who shoots only between SEES
sions Of congress. international incl
dents and other big and engrossing
things.
The occasion OF the target practice
Of Mr.. Roosevelt was the opening of
the fifth triennial schnetzenfest Of the
National Schuetzen Bund Of America,
in Charleston. 1t was the wish Of the
rltienen to have Mr.. Roosevelt there
In person, so that they could show
him that rifle could speak as well
In German as in rough rider. AS he
was busy in Washington. the presi
dent could not oblige. but he wanted
to shoot, and did SO.
Here The secret must come out
Mr.. Roosevelt did not use the White
House as his shooting gallery, despite
the strenuous reports that sometimes
tnd their way past Pete. the bulldog
Strategy was used. and Lieut.. w
Melton Farrow was the strategist i
must be confessed that Lieut.. Farrov
aimed the gun, but President Roose
welt shot it off. and the record is his
Lieut. Farrow brought 32-calibe
rifle made BY him several years ago
and after three weeks work ad
iusted It ON pedestal on which /
could be held for shooting at the tai
get, Attached to it was magneti
contrivance, which. BY the completion
Of an electric circuit. pulledNH deli
cate hair trigger and did the shoot
ing. The button to complete tn
circuit was in the White House.
But the bare pleasure OF pressin
the button was not all that the pres
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1907-06-19

" substitute for boeswax has been
discovered in The leaves Of the ran
palm, a product Of the island of Mad
agascar. The wax il extracted BY the
simple process q beating tho dried
leaves on q mat to small bita. The
particles are then gathered and boiled.
The resultant wax Is kneaded into
small cakes. Experiments are being
made with tbs new substance tt ana
out its comInsHSial value whether il
may be useo TOR bottling purposes. IL
the manufacture 81 nhonngfaph eylln.
UeFH5 etc
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1907-06-19
HITS MARK FROM AFFAIR.

dent was to have for his part in the
performance. Near the rife was
rigged big telephone receiver, and
when Mr.. Roosevelt made his shots he
was able to hear the welcome crack OF
the rifle.
Gov. Ansel then conveyed to the
president the congratulations cf the
National Schuetzen Bnnd and its
guests on the excellent score he had
made and the thanks Of them all for
opening the fest. The band played
MY Country. Tis OF Thee. and there
was great salvo Of cheers. The
president said that he could hear the
cheering and the music very distinct
", and he was sure that everybody
was having Jolly time. and he would
like to be with them.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1907-06-19

This Country.
Washington. Statistics issued at
the close Of the year 1906 show that
there were in use in the United States
alone more than 100000 telephones,
while an aggregate Of little more
than 100000 miles Of wire was used
for telephone service.
The telephone industry gives en-
ployment to 10000 persons in the
United States. an increase Of III per
cent. in six years. while during the
same period the number OF stations
mas increased 2sS per cent and tae
wire mileage $40 per cent.
There Is little doubt that much Of
his increase is due to the general
adoption OF the so-called message rate
system IN place Of the fiat annual
sharse formerly in vogue. BY making
he charges proportional I'd the mum
Der Of calls the use Of the telephone
has been widely extended both be-
sause Of the greater willingness 81
1eopIe to become subscribers under
such conditions and because the sys
.em gives an incentive to the local
telephone companies ID give geod ser
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1907-06-19
Grogth of the Telephone.

vice and encourage the use Of the tele
phone, .
Another cause for the increase in
the number Of telephones in use is
doubtless the extending number Of
large business buildings in various
cities. since the telephone is an alb
solute necessity In the modern TAN
building, making it possible to tran.
sact business as well from the twen-
tieth story as from the ground floor.
The installation Of the telephone in
every suite in tho modern hotel and
large apartment house accounts for 4
portion Of the increase.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1907-06-19
VALUE or a RIGHT LEG.



Jersey City, n. J.-At Just how
much do you value a right leg. on
which you have foot, and mayhap
toes with corns that smart and burn
and tickle when damp weather comes.
When you are hall block from q
speeding. tantalizing trolley car and
making excellent time in its direction
YOU think that the leg ss invaluable,
but the crudity Of your estimate IS
impressed with severity on you when
you realize that to be without that leg
r. only to detract 10 per cent, from
your ability to get along ia the world,
according 70 a statement made by an
expert on such matters, Dr. William
J. Arlltz. surgeon IN 81. Francis hos
pital. The physician testified to this
Ii suit for damages tried in the cir.
cult court brought for sIx.year-old
boy,
The surgeon claimed that boys Of
tender years. when presented with a
cork or wooden leg In exchange for
one Of the fcat-bearing kind. with the
accompanying corns and bunIons.
were able 70 become SO proficient In
rs use thai It's presence was unknown
TO the ordinary observer, and that It
could be detected only by careful ex-
animation.
why. boys can play baseball, ride
a bicycle. run up and down stairs. and
] have even seen one lad walk a slack
wire after he had become accustomed
70 the use OF the leg" said the sur
geon.