davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-06-20

for lawyer? Folks around here ming
I'm pretty smart woman, and l don :.
want to be made laughingstock of
not know enough to cross examine an
old cow"
Lawyer Parsons, who was the lead
ing member of the bar . the town.
was retained, and the expected sum
mons was served next day. A week
later the suit came on. During the in
terval young Livingstone drove out to
the Johnson farm. Miss Prue had
gone TO town to do some shopping and
the mother was blunt and brusque.
The budding attorney almost offered
his services in the coming suit, and the
look he received in reply fingered with
him for many hours. When Prue got
home she was told that there had got
to be a stop to this sort of thing, but
when she burst into tears and said
she could not help it her mother was
reasonable enough to reply that maybe
she could not.
The girl went to town with the motl!-
er ON the day Of the suit. In the court
room Il shock of surprSse awaited her.
Darius Livingstone appeaSed as counsel
for the complainant. Yes, he was there
in all his dignity, and he didn't seem
q bit frightened that it was his first
case and that he was matched against
one of the Oldest and smartest lawyers
in the county. He nodded to Prue and
would have done the same to her motl-
er had she not just then been engagca
in whispering to her daughter:
''Prue Johnson, look over there! A>
true as you live your bean pole of Il
young man is going to take the case
against me. That's another specimen
of his cheek You wait, however.
When Parsons gets through with him
therell be only grease spot left"
Surprise after surprise was the order
of the day. The plaintiff really had a
chattel mortgage on the cows. They
had been driven away and sold. In
buying them Mrs. johnson had taken
the sellers work Her lawyer argued
that this was customary but bean
pole brought in six witnesses TO prove
to the contrary. Mrs. Johnson was
made to admit that she was Il business
woman and that she had never bought
even a chicken without being guarau-
teed \ dozen errors We're made in
her case, and before it was concluded
Mr.. Parsons was made to look extreme
ly foolish. The jury gave verdict for
the plaintiff. and ue shed tears be
meath her veil AL realized that she
would see no more of Lincoln No. -.
She was in despair when her mother
walked up 10 tie young attorney and
held out her hand saying:
''Sir, l am blunt and plain spoken
woman. You are lOp shouldered and
slab sided. You are as homely as a
hedgehog in March, but you are a talk
er and are certain TO make a good law
yer. If l ever have a son-ln-law | hope
he'll be one of the profession. No,
don't make any excuses. You had a
right TO take the other side, and | hold
no grudge against you If you want
TO know how good cheese is made come
out to the farm"
Mr.. Livingstone did want to know
He had always been curious about it.
He took early advantage of her offer.
and at last reports he and Miss Prue
had decided to go south on their we'd
ding tour.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-06-20
His Future Assured.

The telephone rang in a certain
brokers' office one morning this week,
and the broker himself answered.
Yes" said he, this is it, I'm Mr..
Il. What can | do for you? Whom
do you want. then? Oh. all right; hold
the wire. Here, Jimmy, some one to
talk to you"
Jimmy. a diminutive, towheaded of
flee boy, approached and seized the re-
ceiver.
Yep, dis is jim. Oh, yep; hullo yer
self. Sure, dat was him talkin'. Wot?
Hully gee. Dat so? A'right-yep--
goodby yerself
Say. Mr. B." the diminutive one
remarked to the broker, dat was
Eddy, de head office boy, an he says
ter me ter tell yer he resigns his job
right now by de phone cause he don't
like de way yer talked t him yester-
day. lie says he kin live anyhow,
AM
"All right" the broker interrupted.
THE mistake he made was in not de-
manding my resignation. However,
he'll own an office some day. We wilt
now proceed with the days business.
James. New York Globe.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-06-20
Pull Up Just a Bit.

Mr. Married Man, did you ever give
thought to what might happen when
you died:
Did you ever spend much thought
upon the fact that you were going TO
die?
Did you ever realize that your wife
would cease to be your wife and be-
come widow:
Did you comprehend that your chill
dren would no longer be your children
but would be known as your orphans?
If you did grasp these facts, which
many men try to dodge, did you ever
carry your speculation a little furth.
er, thus wise:
"Will my widow wear as good
clothes as my wife,
where will the bread come from
when the breadwinner passes away
"Will my orphans have the adyant-
ages of my children:'
1t is rather grim subject-this idea
of DEATH Not dinner table converse
tion at all. It's pleasant thing to
forget. Many men do successfully
dodge the subject all their lives. But
there is no lodging death itself. 1t
never forgets. 1t never skips, Rich
or poor-mighty or lowly-no matter.
It's a fine thing to live. 1t makes a
married man proud to have a home, to
dress his wife, to give his children
educational advantages and to keep
his family in the front rank. 1t takes
money, yes-but it's fine for the chill
dren, delightful for the wife, satisfy
ing to the man. But
When you've run your length, Mr..
Married Man, what then:
Some day your friends will lay lily
on your chest, heap the praise, the
reverence. the kindly tributes that
should have been yours through life,
upon what is left of you. lay you
away, and proceed to forget you.
There il no time to decide this but
now. Prune few luXuries. Start n
bank account. Save Leave an in
come
If you left your wife while alive the
law would put you in Jail. Death re-
lieves you of the law but not of res
possibility.
Then again. Mr.. Man, ..your saving
may not be merely for your widow or
your orphans. 1t may be yourself.
There are such things as paralysis
blindness, insanity.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-06-20
A Tax on Inheritance.

President Roosevelt announces his
the inheritance tax should be part of
onr system of federal taxation, but in
view of the legal difficulties in the
way of the income tax, as revealed III
the supreme court $ decision of several
years ago. and the admitted difficulty
of the equitable application of such
principle of taxation. the president be-
lieves the inheritance tax idea to be
much more feasible.
There is much to be said in behalf
of an inheritance tax that could not
be urged with great force in support
of the income tax proposition. For
one thing, the income tax is open to
the charge of being tax on enterprise
Furthermore it is in most instances
double tax, for the real or personal
property from which the average in
come is derived is already subject to
direct taxation for State and municip-
al purposes.
An inheritance tax imposes no burd-
en- on the one whose enterprise and
ability have contributed to the amass-
ing of fortune but simply requires
that those who come into the unearn-
ed possession of the acoumulations of
another shall devote share of their
Inheritance to the interests OF the gov
eminent under whose beneficent ad
ministIation the accumulations of
their benefactor were made possible,
As the president points out, the in
heritancetax principle has been adopt
ted in the leading civilized nations of
the world, such as Great Britain,
France and Germany. In Pennsyl-
vania we collect an inheritance tax for
the use of the State government, and
it has been found TO involve no hard
ships.
The president advocacy of the in.
heritance tax is likely to be popular,
at any rate. and it is probably much
nearer the state of actual accomplish
ment than the income tax idea.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-06-20
Demonstrations Scarce This 4th.

Although 1.-The Glorious Fourth"
is but two weeks distant, not single
flaming poster can be found displayed
i'll this town to announce where the
eagle is going to loudly scream on In
dependence Day, and extending an in
vitation to young and Old to particip-
ate in the festivities.
The ones who always make it point
TO help swell the crowds of the Fourth
of July where big demonstrations are
being held, just now do not know
where TO 20 on the nations birthday
to realize the usual pleasure of enjoy
ing big time.
Not one of the nearby towns, thus
far. have made any effort for large
demonstration. In this town the Con-
tinental laddies will be the hosts at
DeWitt's park, and taking into consid-
GRAFTON the lack of any other amuse-
ment the crowd at the resort on that
day will likely be a record breaker.
There will also be ball game at the
park on the Fourth.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-06-20
Roosevelt and the Press.

Crosby s. Noyes. of the. Washington
Star, in his address before the Nation
al Editorial association at Jamestown
last week, discussed journalism in an
entertaining manner He spoke truly
when he said that the reason Captain
glory now enjoyed by President Roose.
velt was because there were no news
papers then TO exploit his deeds or
make his name a household word.
That the newspapers have done this
for the president there is no doubt,
says the York Dispatch Mr.. Noyes
also says the president is in hearty
sympathy with clean journalism and
healthy criticism, except when the
criticism points out flaws in his officil-
al acts.
Newspapers will not be unduly
elated if he pats them on the back
nor will their equanimity be disturb
ed if he gives them the cold should
er, - says Mr.. Noyes, for presidents
come and presidents 60 but the press,
like Tennyson S brook, goes on for.
ever. In bringing the president in
to the discussion Mr.. Noyes has done
well. No better example of what the
newspapers have done for man, and
can do for others, can be given. While
the president made himself they
exploited him, and will continue to
criticlse him when his acts do not
seem just.
Throughout his address Mr Noyes
exhibited breadth of understanding,
thorough appreciation of the great
influence which sane journalism has
on the people of the country. His re-
ference TO the yellow Journals, "
the penny dreadtuls' that smear
their pages with details of murder and
other atrocities, going so far as to in
cite labor to go out and kill some one,
exactly hit the mark.
1t will teach the public that there is
no more sympathy between the sane
and dignified newspaper and the yell
low sheets than there is between a
thoroughbred horse and flea bitten
mule.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-06-20
Stole Eighty Spring Chickens.

One of the biggest chicken thefts
that has been heard of in these parts
was perpetrsted last week on Bloom
road, when eighty chickens,a a quantity
of wheat and oats were stolen from
one farm house.
The robbery occurred at the farm of
William Fern, who lives a short dis
tance beyond Ridgeville. The chickens
taken were ali young ones, and includ-
ed in the loot which was gotten away
with were bushels of oats and four
bushels of corn.
Mr.. Fern did not discover his loss
until he rose on the morning after
The thieves left no clues behind.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-06-20
LOW NECK CLAIMS.
A Joke That Met Man Who Had
Feeble Sense of Humor,

An ex-governor of Wisconsin, famous
as story teller, once rejoiced a com
pany of friends witt an account of his
experience at New Jersey clambake
At the clambake there were plenty of
people who enjoyed The speech of the
Wisconsin man, but therswas one ser-
GUS minded listener on whom it fell
fat
Il started off" said the ex-governor,
telling the story, ''by stating that l had
eaten so many of Il! n low neck clans
that l wasn't in the least sort of condi-
ton for speechmaking. At that mo
ment a long faced old man directly
across the table scowled at me and
said in a stage whisper:
"Little neck clans, little necks, not
low necks"
Il paid no attention to him and went
ON with my remarks. After dinner he
followed me out of the hall.
"'You're from Wisconsin, aren't
you? he asked.
"'Yes,' l answered.
Don't have many CLAIMS out there,
l reckon?
WELL l said, we have some, but
it's good way to water, and in driv-
ing them across the country their feet
get sore and they don't thrive very
WE'LL
"'Why, man alive said he, CLANS
haven't any feetn
"Soon after that he buttonholed one
of my friends.
ais that fellow governor of Wiscon-
sfnT he demanded.
MY friend admitted that 1 was.
"'Waal,' said he, 'p'raps he may be
q smart enough man for Wisconsin,
but he's a good deal of a fool at the
seashorer"
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-06-20
THE BIG ONES
MAY NOT APPEAR
HARRISBURG, June 10.

II
Counsel for John Fl. Sanderson, the
chief capitol trimmer, and for Jo-
seph NJ Huston, the half-million dol
lar architect, have declined to accept
service of summons for the two men
to guarantee their appearance before
the capitol investigation commission.
No reason has been given for the re-
fusai of the lawyers to accept service
for their clients; all that is known is
that James Scarlet attorney for the
commission, went to Philadelphia
Monday to ascertain if counsel for the
trimmer" and the architect would
represent the men if desired.
PENNYPACKER AS WITNESS.
Ex-Governor Samuel Whitaker
Pennypacker, sole surviving champion
of the richness of resign and 'high
art' of the States s13, 600, 900 palace
of graft, will be the star attraction
before the commission this week. Ow-
ing to the desire of the commission to
maintain the dignity of the investiga-
ton, the exact time of the governor S
visit is being kept secret. However,
Senator John S. Fisher, chairman,
vehemently denied last night that it
was intended to hold snap session in
the dead of night to hear what Mr..
Pennypacker has to say i'll self-defense.
APPARENT DUPLICATION.
What appears to have been duplica-
tion of work was discovered by the
expert auditors today i'll the examlna-
tion of accounts relating TO the trim
ming" of the lobby of the senate and
house of representatives. George f.
PAYNE q Co., builders of the capitol,
had the contract for painting and dec
Grating the halls, the there is nothing
TO indicate that they were released
from this obligation. Nevertheless,
Sanderson managed to get contract
for painting and decorating those
halls, submitting an invoice for $l37,.
713 OF for the work, and as usual, in
his case, collecting the money. Sand
eIson soaked the State SS7, 7l1.17
for the bath of blue and gold paint to
which he subjected the hall of the
house of representatives, and he col
lected $50, 201 81 for the treatment
given to the senate hall.
MORE ENORMOUS PROFITS.
For all the work in the two halls,
Sanderson's bills aggregated $751;, 74l.
80 and 1t is estimated that the money
represented profits ranging from 300
to / 900 per cent The four massive
chandeliers which hang in the house
of representatives cost the State only
$50, 600 each, or $500, 600 for the four.
The things weigh : 800 pounds each.
The next largest item in the house
trimmings was the cost of desks, for
which Sanderson collected Sol. 600 and
paid S16, 900. He was also paid nearly
$50, 600 for the chairs in this chamber.
The total cost of the trimmings Of the
senate chamber was S245, 079. So. For
the senate lighting fixtures Sanderson
was paid Sl33, Gel 3d. For tifty-two
desks in this chamber he collected
$15, 433. 20, and paid the sub-contractor
little more than So, 900. For the
chairs he collected s21, 453 20, and for
six sofas he was paid Sl5, 900.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-06-20
For n SIuaaish Liver.

When your liver is really sluggish,
practice the following exercises at
least twice day: Stretch one arm up
as high as you can, while with the 9th
er one try and reach down toward the
floor. Then reverse the position of the
arms You will find that you will un-
consciously bend the body toward the
lower arm. By this exercise the side
muscles are strengthened, and the liv.
er, which is like a sponge, is squeezed,
and is thus much assisted In its work.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-06-20
Evidence of Progress.

The strange condition of affairs was
perhaps never more fully demonstrat-
ed than it is today When the electric
railroads were first introduced, the
motive power of which dispensed with
all horses for propelling street cars.
the pessimist held up his hands in holy
horror and declared that that was the
end of the equine race. That particular
innovation fakiled to produce any diff
ference in either the demand or supply
of horses for general utility purposes,
Then came the bicycle, and most as
suredly the balance of horses for driv-
ing purposes would be relegated to the
rear. according to the theorists. And
yet the price of good horse failed to
decline.
Next comes the automobile, and now
for a certain fact there was no furth-
er use for a single.ho in public
thoroughfare because everybody will
be travelling either by trolley. bicycle
or automobile In addition a large
part of the farmers work is today
done by electricity or steam which in
years gone by required the use of
horses.
On top of all these past predictions
and theories, the price of horses on the
market today is higher than it has
been for twenty years. Consequently
all the new inventions have no de-
pressing effect on the farmer or raiser
of horse stock. Twenty years ago a
horse that is selling today for from
$3.50 to $500, could have been bought
for from $50 to $75.
One thing sure, there is at this time
raised, all over the country, far sup
erior stock of horses to what was the
case a quarter of century ago, and
the raising of blooded stock requires
more care and more expense than may
have been necessary i'll years gone by.
Also, the average farmer wants better
stock on his premises, as well as when
he bitches his team to the carriage to
drive to town. to church or to visit
his friends and neighbors.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-06-20

After a long trial in the Montgom-
cry county court and argument for a
new trial and appeal to the superior
court, where new trial was granted,
in a case which involved strip of
land in Norristown eighteen inches
wide and eighty-tive feet long, the
contestants have wisely decided to
split the strip, each taking half.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-06-20
Married at Bloomsbury.

E. l. VanDoran. OF Philadelphia,
and Miss Jennie W. Barclay, of Blooms
burg, will be married this afternoon
at O'Clock at the home of the brides
mother, Mrs. Emma A. Barclay, Mark
ct street, Bloomsbury The groom was
the representative of the Rumsey
Electrical company during the install
lation of the borough electric light
plant.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-06-20
Notice.

Pursuant to an Order of the Court
of Quarter Sessions of Montour Coun-
tv due notice is hereby given that the
said Court has fixed Saturday. the
sixth day of July A. D. 1907, at ten
o'clock in the forenoon of the said
day as the time, and open Court as the
place, for hearing the parties their
proofs and allegations relative to the
application made to the said Court by
the Trustees of thei iMahoning Presby-
terian English Congregation North
praying the said Court to authorize
and direct them, the said Trustees, TO
remove the remains of the dead from
the Presbyterian Cemetery, on Bloom
Street in the Fourth Ward of the Bor-
ough of Danville, Montour County,
Pa, and to reinter them elsewhere ac-
cording to law, and when and where
all persons interested may attend and
be heard if they deem proper.
THE Trustees of the Mahoning
Presbyterian English Congregation
North ~
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-06-20

A 5-month-old calf owned by j. w.
Miller, of Klinesville, Lehigh county,
had big feast on tender young chick
ems on Monday, as it ate forty five eggs
which would have Matched out in a
day or two.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-06-20
Hans Nightmare.

Venefer 60 on party und eat more
dan four bologna sausages, l always
don't sleep goot dat night. Veil.
gees to de doctors shop und tells him
yust about how dat vas. und he said
haf de nightmare. Den he writes
Something's in Swede on piece of pa
per und sends me ofer to de hardware
shop to get dat paper full of some
dings. Veil. | says at mineself, "Vhen
l waste money dat way my name amt
Hans Fritz Won SplattZengatzmeyer
So trows de paper on de street und
starts home. On de way l met house
nit a sign on de door: Scarlet mea-
sles. Keep out" Den l goes along,
und l met anudder house NIT sign
on de door: Small pox. Keep out"
l thinks dat's pooty goot scheme, SO
goes home und takes paint brush und
writes OF my door: Nightmare. Keep
out" Und de nightmare don't bodder
me since.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-06-20
Bermuda lobsters,

In the neighborhood of the Bermuda
islands the sea Is extremely transpar-
ent, so that the fishermen can readily
see the horns of the Holsters protruding
from their hiding places in the rocks
at considerable depth To entice the
crustaceans from these crannies they
tie lot of snails in a ball and dangle
them in front of the cautious lobster.
When he grabs the ball they haul him
I'm
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-06-20
EcnnnmX.

Lady Shopper-Have you any of your
one dollar goods marked down to so
cents? Salesman-None left, ma'am.
We have the $1.50, 81 and $3.50 grades
at the regular price and the So grade
marked down to Lady shopper
Give me the So grade. - New York
Times.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-06-20

At the funeral of Miss Elizabeth
Childs, aged 81 years, Of Parkerford,
Chester county, the pail bearers were
four women friends of the aged wo-
man, and they were sisters.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-06-20

A 3-year-old daughter of William
Christian, of Allentown, fell from a
second story window on Monday night
and sustained injuries that will prove
fatal.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-06-20

Steps have been taken to strictly en-
force the Sunday laws in Harrisburg,
and keepers of cigar stores, groceries,
ice cream, soda water, etc, have been
notified to that effect.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-06-20
PERSONAL PROPER

! Cook-stove, ! refrigerato,
er, stove, piano,
bureaus, l cupboard. / couch
tables, a lot of dishes, lot o
a lot of carpet, a lot of pictur
room suite, hat rack. n.
stair carpet, pictures. stanG
many other articles too hume
mention.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-06-20

The announcement that Secretary
Taft lost twelve pounds by reason of
his recent severe spell of sickness will
IN no way distress his friends.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-06-20
Long Illness.

Walter Morrall, who had his kneecap
broken by falling on the icy pavement
near the third ward school house last
March, is able to be about again after
a painful and tedious illness.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1907-06-20
Administrators Notice.

Estate of Mary X. Kearns, late OF the
Borough of Danville, in the county
of Montour and State of Pennsyl-
vania, deceased.
Notice is hereby duly given that
letters of administration have been
granted upon the above estate to the
undersigned.
All persons indebted to the said
estate are required to make immediate
payment, and those having claims or
demands against the said estate will
make known the same without delay
to
JONATHAN SWEISFORT,
Administrator of Mary Kearns, decd
z. o. Address Danville, Pa.
E. S. GEARHART, Atty.