The Washington herald., 1907-01-02


suffering and blood
Mr.. r. Fl. Hartman is quoted as say
ing that he would give 100000 10 re-
/ habilitate ex-GOv. Odell in politics Mr..
Hartman evidently realizes that il would
be "a strenuous undertaking.
1t is all right 40 give those Panama
workmen badges. but what they also need
is little Uncle Joe Cannon vocal sauce
piquant, coupled with a portion of Ad-
miral Evans explanatory fusillade.
The Comanche Indians AZ Lawton had
la Christmas tree. Santa Claus appearing
I in full war paint and feathers. As he
doesn't appear 10 have singed the feathers
or set fire TO the tree, grave doubts are
entertained OF his being an up-to-date
santa Claus, after all
/ According to the Americas fGal Times
/ Recorder. Miss Americas would have ap-
/ preciated an electric light plant in her
| Christmas stocking Does Miss Americas
hail from Chicago, IlL2
/ This country needs more poets" SAYS
Ia contemporary. And fewer near-pOets.
! A German gentleman paid Sl05 for a fish
/ recently. bat just which restaurant he
ipatronizes isn't disclosed.
/ It seems that Mr. Roosevelt had a good.
open shot az wild gobbler down in Viz
ginia. but missed. It's only the hits that
count, Mr.. President.
A famous German astronomer says
10 J.. Gee L..
/ has discovered sort of lunar Pittsburg
with his spy-glass
/ In certain quarters there is a lively
I fear that the next President Of the United
States may weigh three hundred pounds q"
says the Birmingham Age-Herald. And
I there IS certain amount Of fear in other
quarters that he may not
: Statistics fairly bulge and swell every
where. The South Dakota divorce crop is
/ even the largest ou record.
/ The Dure-food law is now in full effect
/ and YOU have the opportunity Of finding
| out whether or not ignorance was bliss in
I the matter n diet
A Boston doctor declares that he can re-
store the dead To life. and certain re-
cent activities around Wolfert's RoOst
indicate that he may have been expert
menting Whereabouts.
Now doth the gay pneumonia germ
ha-ha with glee that's ghoulsh. in fact,
he makes all other germs look hollow
eyed and foolish. Beware the gay pneu-
monia germ, heed not his ghoulish glee;
Z he's the poorest sort of company, SO tell
him "Z3
Raisouli has packed his somewhat nu-
merous family of 20 the mountains. but
declines to take TO the woods himself
The per capita circulation was g great
er during 1906 than 1906. Doubtless you
noticed H.
Comanche County. Texas. went for Bal
ley with a whOop,
Panama has given President Amador
formal permission TO return Mr.. Roose-
velrs visit. Fortunately for our Presi-
dent ne doesn't have to ask anybody's
permission when he wants to make a few
pop calls.
Most Of our billiards seem to be win
Jering IN Europe
Mr.. Henry James says the English Of
American women is slovenly No one
has been able to unraveI Henry's to a
point from which an opinion might be
delivered concerning It,
The superb" a new battle ship for the
British navy. will be even more formi-
dable than the "Dreadnought" This puts
il up to Uncle Sam To build THE out o.
Sight" as a fit successor of the "Skeered
o Nothing"
The Chicago Journal says the natives
Of New Guinea make dip nets of spider
web sit on the bank watching for passing
fish and when they appear scoop them
up. As a starter for the New Year, that's
a fairly tallish fish story
Persia received a constitution as a New
Years present If Persia is wise she
will nail the flag to the constitution while
the latter IS young and intact.
The story of the prodigal son has been
used to point many a moral and adoTu
many a tale. but the party who really
got the worst Of that transaction was
the fatted calf, and yet very little SYM
pathy has been manifest in his direction
The German army is to be equipped
with self-lOading rifles and will soon be
ready 10 shoot up creation more arts
tically than ever before, for the promo
ton Of international peace.
Mary Hagen went over Niagara Falls
the other day with a return ticket 20
Buffalo in her pocket. Some one ought 20
have told the poor thing she wasn't
obliged to return to Buffalo.
One Mrs Germond wants a divorce be
cause her husband cannot distinguish be
tween right and wrong He certainly
must be a very poorly regulated husband
not 10 understand that ne was wrong.
Recorder Golf says it is now wen-nfgh
impossible to convict an innocent person /
IN New York. What We need. however, |
is to fird some certain and sure way 20
convict the guilty ones.
The winner of the Peace Prize.
From Puck
The distinguished winner of the Nobel |
peace prize is the author of the sentiment |
that it is better to fight and be licked |
than never to fight at all
The Domestic Czarina.
From the Milwaukee Sentinel
Does your wife take much interest in |
politics."
4 should say so. She's speaker of the |
house"