Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-05-19
ANSWERS TO
CORRESPONDENTS

I'm this column win be answered all questions Of
a proper nature submitted TO The Star inqurers
SHOULD rite on one side only and address their let
cult couundrums answers may be delayed for q
week or two Consequently IT may be advisable fos
all questionefs to watch this column cnrefully.l
RANDOLPH s-Uncle Jasper. what do
you call the weather we've been having
during the past week. Spring summer
| A.-As a matter of fact. we don't call 1t
either Of those things. We are ashamed to
go into details
c. e. K.-Any changes in the Ohio situa-
ton, Uncle Jasper? A.-Only one. The bomb
that We spoke of last week has gone on
The execution was frightful. An unidenti-
| fled leg was found clear over in Ashta-
bula.
Was 1t you who broke my rubber plant
Cried dame to her butler. Bill vetch,
Twill be Just as before
Replied Bill, with a roar.
You forget that rubber will stretch
COL. ALEXANDER.-Anyt surpris-
ing in the news last week? A.--The Nation
ais knocked the invlncible Walsh out of the
box. Does that come up to requirements?
If not, well hand you some Russian brew
ties next time.
AUNT MARY.-My little nephew Socrates
Smith. recently passed away, his feet hav-
ing been poisoned by bum stockings. Please
give me touching and poetic inscription
for his grave. A.-Undoubtedly We will.
How's this:
Socrates Smith was the lovelest nephew.
Sturdy and brave, though a little bit shy,
TIL an angel came and tenderly whispered,
Dye In little Socs sock made little Soc die.
II. E. JUNGLE Jasper please tell me the
name Of the next man who wi shy his hat
fnfo ~ Df al hi
Ave know his mustache, but not his
name. Anyhow, the arena is all cluttered
up with bonnets. and We prefer to wait
awhile. Ask the Mint Julep expert. He
can tell you.
NJ. J. K.-WhoSis the most popular man
Inns of Glen Echo of course. We thought
everybody knew that. Ask any automobile
owner. He will speak feelingly of Col
Inns.
F. M. S-Why Is It that all the single
women have seen lately have been in such
melancholy frame of mind? A:-Haven't
you heard? The census report shows that
there are 1900 more women than men In
the District of Columbia.
.'Tish! fish! Tishr cried Theodore
st told you not to come round any more.
This third term talk just abhor,
(But you're the incest little rumor that
ever saw
CITIZEN.-Uncle Jasper. don't you think
It rather ridiculous that at the Armstrong
Manual Training School the young eolored
students are to be taught to raise chick
ems? A.-Not at ALL The course Of study
you speak of will teach them to raise chick
ems from the egg. As Virgil says, Et.
roostabus squawkum."
ETHEL am going away from the city
next week. Uncle Jasper. Please suggest
some light summer literature to take with
me. A.-Your letter comes just at the right
time. Bound volumes of the Congressional
be had at the Capitol now.
HENRY H.-Uncle Jasper. wish to regis
playing first base in the game between the
Whangdoodles and the MOliycoddles at Ma
tional Park last Friday I made fourteen
errors. A.-You are justified In your de-
NAL To our personal knowledge you had
only thirteen chances. The truth win not
down. ss,i.e :
JOSEPH.-A friend told me yesterday thst
might soon be called upon for out town
referring to the Mpyer-fIaywe0sis tytas. 9lfeSs
Idaho population has been exhausted, and
the court officials are working slowly east.
H K L-what does Mr.. Foraker say
nowadays when asked concerning that Ohio
situation? Ale doesn't say, anything.
He just reaches for heavy bronze paper
weight with sharp corners We cannot
tell you what he does next, as we have
never had the time to walt and see.
UNCLE JASPER.