Sequachee Valley news. (Sequachee [Sequatchie], Tenn.) 1896-1952, 1907-06-13
DOFETCHIT'S NONSENSE.

rs months ago, anu you would be glad
would remit Mt once. That word
expired don't know what it means
but if it rs some OLE name Won. ape call
ing me, you are double expired.
You said remit at once, but TH let
YOU know, sir. FIJI not do il. The
court dom t compel man to tell any
thing on hisself, and Til not do it.
Pm as good as mister anybody. You
called me dilaterry. Well you are an
other one, sir. You sand you would
uphold any man as long as you can
Now, let me tell you you had better
quit that right off afore you get in
iail Ii yoW was to uphold me. Won
would not get a cent, for don't carry
money with me. You sand you could
mot get carry ME over amy longer. |
want YOU 20 know, sir, you have new
er carried me over nowhere. | ALWAYS
carried myself everywhere ever went.
1t don look to me like man in YOUR
standing would make such fuss about
SOC peace, just for little ole sheet
of common paper, like you sent me.
Well, was glad to get your letter
and here from you You didn't even
say in your letter whether you We're
we'll or sick. | hope your letter left
you well. 1t found me well. This
leaves me we'll and hope 1T win find
you well and doing we'll Well, if you
amt well let me know, and write
things TO me that | can understand. |
have not got the SOC yet and will tell
you the reason why. | got rattlesnake
bit six weeks ago and am not we'll of
it yet IN now explain to you how l
got bit so you will look over me and
send your paper on. This is the cause
am deer lover of egg pie. Yessir.
And the ole lady knows it, We got a
mole domminneckeer hen what laws
eggs in box that fixed mp for her.
| Well Mrs. Dofetchit told me to go out
to the box and get three eggs and she
would bake me egg pie. So l went
and | didn't even think of a rattle
snake being in the box. When | run
my hand in the box | was thinking of
the egg pie. could see all that big,
foamy white stuff on top of that pie,
and could taste the yaller underneath
it. had the egg pie bad in my mind
As | run my hand in the box RATHER
bit me on the hand. knowed it was
a snake so | run in the house as quick
as | could and showed Mrs. Do where
the snake had bit me. She at once got
| turpentine, comfire, sweet oil, vine
gar, sweet spirit inter, Bankers lini-
ment, jap oil, coal oil, castor oil, hen
oil and possom oil, rag weed poldis,
mustard poldis, meal poldis, wheat
bran poldis, and red oak bark poldis,
and then dun my hand up in cotton
and rags, calico, linen and duckin, and
ever time she would put anything on
me she would ask me if was getting
sick and ! really was. l was getting
sicker and sicker all the time, and
about that time ole sister Dribbles
come in and said whiskey was the best
thing in the world for snake bite.
So off she went and brought in a quart
of the finest apple brandy ever seen,
and she said, now if you can get drunk
the snake bite won't hurt you. SO ]
taken some of it and in little while
some more and some more and more,
and Mrs. Dofetchit asked me how
was feelin, and | told her | never fell
so dog gone good in all my life. Now
she never did want ME to touch dral
of whiskey, and when | told her | wa
feeling fine it did please her so well t.
think they had saved my life. | coul(
really feel my hand a swelling in then
rags and things. By this time | wa
feeling fine and rite for my country
Now, to kill that snake was next.
got the gun in my good hand and WI
(me and the ole LADY, marched up lik
brave soldiers to shoot that snake. s.
made move to just shoot that snak
through the end of the box. | knowe'
if hit the end of the box | could no
miss him with shot gun. | only ha
one hand, SO Mrs Do. said, you hol
the gun agin your shoulder and II
pull the trigger and done so, and GO
ded aim ON the end of that box. Mrs
Do done her part. Bang, went the gun
and about that time that ole Dom
inecker hen Topped out with her he
shot off. Well, Mrs. Do snatched tn
rags and things off of my hand an
bantered me for fife but she seen
had too much spirits of snake in m
and she just put it off. Well, we ar
, just about to get friendly agin. Tn
old woman is getting to look at it o
the brite side now. She was as niue
to blame as was about KILN the oil
hen. She pulled the trigger and tia
! certainly did cause the gun to go of
: but she still says she wants that to /
o the last capers cut like that, just
q get to eat hen. l thought she W;
. a snake but she just went there to la,
I was dependin ON that hen to lay eg,
and to sell them to pay for my new
= paper. Got no eggs to sell, can't g
no money. but kindly don't stop n
paper until get another hen.
j. |