The Washington herald., 1907-01-22
BY FREDERIC J. HAsKIN.

When Americas clock stops. America
goes 10 the telephone and asks cen
trail" what time IT Is. When America is
III. America goes to the telephone and
asks the doctor what to do about it,
When America has unexpected company
to dinner. America goes 70 the telephone
and imploTes the grocer to come TO the
rescue. And when America IS lonely,
America goes to the telephone and visits
with the neighbors. Some enterpr!sing
statistician has made the calculation
that there are enough telephone wires in
the United States to loop the earth and
the moon IN a skein Of twenty strands
and make net big enough to catch a
comet in.
When the telephone was first invented
It was considered that city people would
be the first to benefit by its facilities
but country dweIlers do things with 1t
that city residents know not of. In New
York II costs a dime to talk over the
wire and requires several minutes to get
a connection. There, as in other large
ness purposes, or 10 make engagements.
In the country It costs as little as a
dollar a month to have a telephone with
unlimited service, and so it has come 10
pass that the party line" Is indeed an
institution. When Caleb rings Up Mehet-
abel in the northern part of the county to
talk over the quilting bee OF next week
they are both uncommon wary as TO the
~ hot ewlre IA "a
knowledge that the entire Jenkins family
Of Ave is listening TO every word they
ara saying.
Aside from its practical use. the most
notable production of the telephone era in
America is the 'hello girl' at the central
Office. She has been the theme Of song
and story and the butt Of comic papers.
She gets Christmas remembrances from
grateful subscribers one day IN the year,
and ''cussings" the other 364. IN the
city she IS a machine Under the all
seeing eye Of tbs chief operator she pulls
plugs, makes connections, snaps busy
now or queries ''waiting?" just as a
machine might DO But In the country
she chews gum, and trims her bangs. and
looks out of the window all she wants to.
She is a bureau OF information and
repository of family secrets She is
next 10 all the neighborhood gossip,
and has everybody In the community at
her mercy.
It is astonishing how the telephone
TeRlly annihilates distance Out in Kan
sas q couple OF ingenious farmers have
been doing some tinkering. and now
they are able 70 talk 10 each other over
the top strand Of barb-wire fence that
connects their two farms. A lawyer in
an Illinois town called Up the house of a
client ten miles IN the country and asked,
rs Mr.. Jones there?" He was told that
the man he wanted was on the way 20
town. Just then a voice broke in on the
wire and said: ''Nfr. Jones just went by
our house, and he win soon pass Mrs
Blanks, down the road Shall I have
her call him for your" And In a few
minutes Jones, only three miles away.
was 'hellOing' from Mrs. Blanks.
While waiting at the exchange for a
call in Louisville one day, I told the long
distance operator new joke which I had
heard at the theater the night before.
That's pretty good; I must tell Will
she said. VIII was in New Orleans at
the Crescent City toll board. 4 busy
farmer IN Indiana was accused OF a small
misdemeanOr. The nearest justice Of the
peace called him over the telephone
Guilty or not guilty." was asked. Il
guess I'm guilty" was the response AN
right, then. I fine you 3. Bring Il in
next time you come 10 town" Thus the
majesty Of the law took it's way over
the talking wire.
The telephone IS no respecter OF per-
sons. We say hello" to chums or
strangers or servants CT dignltaries OF
the highest rank. And the tinkling Of
the little bell is an iusistent summons
that none can deny. We cali the busy
man OF lordly official over the telephone
and get him without a minutes delay.
when that same busy man or lordly Off
oial might refuse 70 be talked with at all
II the call were made in person. Curl
Osity plays a large part IN the game.
When the bell rings il is human nature
to want TO know what II is about Prob
ably the only individuals who may be
said to be exempt from such inquisitive-
ness are the boX-OffiCe men at the thea
ters and the ticket sellers at railway
stations.
The telephone is an American invention.
and its development Is the result OF
American ingenuity. Despite the fact that
It IS now barely thirty years old, it Is
thoroughly fastened upon our daily life
Alexander Graham Bell, its inventor is
still a familiar figure on the streets Of
Washington. He began working on the
idea In 1874 He completed the invention
in 1875, patented Il the next year, and IN
1877 il was put into practical commercial
use After making the original machine
Mr.. Bell then busted himself with sc!en-
tif1c research IN other directions, and left
10 other inventors the task Of bringing the
idea up 10 its present state Of perfection.
A half billion dollars are now Invested
in this revolutionary invention. There are
nearly 100000 names IN the telephone
directories Of the United States. Each
man, woman, and child In the country
averages nearly 100 talks a year over the
telephone. Enormous returns have been
realized from trining investments made
years ago, when the idea was In an ex-
perimental stage Franchises which were
freely given away then by generous city
fathers to men looked upon as dreamers
are now worth millions Of dollars. OF
late the competition between the Bell. OF
trust" companies, and what Is known
as the independent concerns. has racked
ana torn cities and rural communities