Evening star., 1907-09-01
NUISANCE ON
THE BALL FIELD
Public Has Grown Tired of the
Players SenseIess and Un-
e profitable Kicking.
BY Clarence L. Cullen.

Nobody knows.
Nobody knows why ball players get
inussy with the umpire. The ball players
Themselves don't know. That they don't
Rnow is clearly evidenced by the fact that
Fnine out of ten Of them completely duck
The question when it is put up to them
Fend the other fellows who do make some
Mort of a reply 10 il all give different rea-
sons.
l. OF course. anybody knows that the rea-
Fson why they kick and howl and ramp
rand roar at the umpire is that they're mad
land het up and that they're the kind of
people speaking generally, who can't re
frain from acting on the impulse OF the
moment. Again. some of them, when they
bawI at the umhpire, are not mad at all,
Ebut are just trying to get something that
doesn't belong to them, and that they
know doesn't belong to them, or, AGAIN
tsome of them shrek around the lot be-
cause they are really sincere in supposlns
that something has been taken away from
them By the umpire that really does belong
To them
All of this however, is beside the mark
/ Nobody is inQurlng what the reason is thal
! ball players have got quick tempers
The actual problem is, Why do they go
on day in and day out, year in and year
out, shouting and hollering at the umpire,
and tearing up hunks of turf ana TOSSING
down their gloves, and splitting real angry
luke so many grasshoppers, and chucklng
down the ball and hopping on their caps,
and shaking their gnarled fingers IN the
arbitrators face, and all IKE tnal-Wny yI uo
they go right on, perennially and perpetual
" doing these fool things. when they
know or ought to know II they We 20.
enough brains to hoist an u1nprella' tnd.
that sort of childish stun never cam anu
never Will. by the remotest chance, get
them anything?
OF course, it's as plain as the notseless
face of the Sphinx that If there were any
chance for them to profit even little Dit,
; by and through their bowling at the ar
bitrator there d be some excuse for thelr
doing it, If weakening under the STRAIN
of their tumult, the umpire were IN the
habit of saying, "All right. dang IT. then,
you can have it, you fellows, II you IL only
let me alone and then proceed to reverse
the decision that has caused the bawilns-
why. if this We're the way OF II tne Dali pan
player who didn't put up shrek fof every
bit of diamond stuff that he saw lying
around loose could and would be held &C
countabe by his employers as well as py
the fans
But. when there isn't a mllion-to-one
chance on earth in the waters beneath
the earth that they're going TO get any
thing else but the ''Gwan, you, or. the
hook for all of their wild and feverish eX-
penditure of breath and vocal effort. isn't
it just foolish. and indicative of the need
for amplified booby matches for ball play
ers. that they go right on yipp-yapping
anu Stt-p"IHS iN ti4S tiieAi'+
Puzzled the Englishman.
A little while ago. in New York, l went
to ball game with an English mining
engineer who was making his first visit to
the United States. He wasn't a hide bound
E.nglshman, but a cosmopolitan, and he
liked the game of ball from the first crack.
Thought it immense. and said so.
Said that. from where he sat, it really
looked like d heap more scientific and
speedy and interesting game than cricket
and when you get Englishman to make
an admission of that magnitude you can
dope it out either one way or the other
that he's going to borrow money from you
that he's going to let you borrow money
from him
this Englishman He was quick to catch
the points of the game, had the makings
OF Q rooter in him, and his interest was
keen and unflagging from the beginning.
But, along toward the middle of the game,
the Yankees-it was Griffiths outfit playing
against the Athletics-started something
with Tommy Connolly. 1t was over a de-
Cison at first-Tommy rightfully gave it to
the Athletics base runner. The Griffith
bunch gathered around Tommy and began
to yammer at him. He a bullet head.
He'd had bad night. He was leanin'
against the old bamboo. hey, and his snok-
IN was beginnin' to tell on him, yah? He
was a daylight burglar, a gumshoe man,
and where was his piece of gas pipe. hey?
Where did he keep his brass knucks, in
his ear? And why didn't he stake himself
to a pair of green goggles for them bum
wicks of his, hey?
And all Similar-the same old. old junk
with which bail PLAYERS have been assailing
the tympanums of umpireS ever since
Granpa Anson was fooling around with
pinny -plnny-pOppy shows.
Well. 1t was diverting to study the att-
tude of my English companion when all
this came off. The English, you see are a
pretty direct sort of folk, and they are dead
ag all of this thing of wasting any con-
Versation whatsoever on any sort of propo-
sition that doesn't promise to fetch them
something.
What's the bally row about?" he asked
me. and l told him.
Well, he said, the umpire was proba-
BILE right. wasn't ne? He was in the best
position to see the thing?"
I observed that thought the umpire was
right; that he looked 20 be right by good
half second from where we sat- opposite the
first base.
We'll. said the Eng!ishman, looking puz-
zled. If he thinks les right, and says, 50,
that settles il. doesn't it?'
For reply | simply nodded in the direction
or the gang of ianKs a-sQurmng around
the imperturhable form of T. Connolly.
They re putting Ip what we call shrek
oh. but l say. said the Engllshman.
still more puzzled, then, if they protest
loud and long enough. the umpire will
change his decision? 1t that it
Not a chance in the civilized world"
said |. Il mpires can't change decisions
after they make EN-. They're just bawling
on genera. principles"
The Britisher remained silent fumbling
his tallOwy mustaChe. for a little space and
then he turned TO me with a profoundly
nlyStihtd expression.
But | say. old Chap-pardon me for
hothering YOU. know. but | want to find
out he said. but. l say if there's no
chance that the umrire fellow will change
his decision, then Why in the blooming
hHzes. YOU know, DO those chaps waste
thrir time and hraa'h making all of the
h1lly row about the thing for. eh?''
| whispered TO my friend from perfidious
Albion to ask mo easy one And he
was still looking worried over the problem
when ! took him ~ from the park
II YOU We're tu trui@e into the first bank
you came TO. and. strolling up to the pay
ing tCller's window. we're to say to him in
that jaunty. breezy way Say gimme
nine dollars right away-I need it would
II be much more ,1iOtiC than This year-in-
and-ycar-out gag Of ball players fellows
supposed to he possessed of top pieces in
lawfully demanding of umpires things that
there isn't the slightest possibility in the
world OF their getting?
Theory of Umpire Batting.
Now, the generally accepted theory
about this umprc-baiting thing by those