davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-21
All at Sea.
From the Illustrated Bits.

From the Illustrated Bits.
 Gentlemen" recently said German professor, who was showing to his stu dents the patients in the asylum, this man suffers from delirium tremens. He is musician. It Is we'll known that blowing a brass instrument affects the lungs and throat in such way as to create a great thirst which has to be allayed by persistent indulgence in strong drink. Hence in course of time, the disease you have before you"
 Turning to the patient, the professor asked:
 What instrument do you blow?" and the answer was:
 '''rhe Violoncello"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-21
Has Mahogany Sidewalks.

From the Philadelphia North American.
 William H. Tripp of Janesville, Wis, is believed to be the only man in Amer ica who can boast of having mahog- any sidewalk in front of his home
 About five years ago he had a con signment of goods from the West Indies. The goods came in mahogany barrels, from which he had a sidewalk built.
 MT. Tripp is s6 years old, and has lived on .l farm just outside of Janesville since 18o., having moved there from his Penn sylvania home in that year.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-21
Proof.

From Puck.
 Docs your husband love your" he asked.
 .'Madly, devotedyr' she answered.
 Are you quite sure?'
 Quite How can I doubt? He has shut me up here In this little cage of place, where he expects me to spend all my time, with nobody's company but his own. If he does not love me, why does he take so much trouble to make me miser- able?"
 And there shone in her fine eyes the beautiful strong light of unshaken con- fldence.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-21
Out of Season.
om the Chicago News

From the Chicago News.
 'Bess," whispered the new copy boy. there Is a bad man outside of the sanctum.'
 "Is he very bad, Bllly?' queried the editor of the Bald Eagle Beacon.
 Yes, sir. Why he says he is coming in here and make mincemeat out of you"
 Did, eh? Well. tell him to come around next winter. Mincemeat is out of season."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-21
if Virginia, and others were unanimously

or Virginia, and others, were unanlmousIy endorsed
 committee of which J. Harry Tyler of Baltimore is secretary, was provided for to take charge of the movement.
 The evening session resolved itself into a great missionary mass meeting, with pr. Willingham and his assistant in charge of the proceedings, and brief ad- dresses from a number of missionaries in foreign fields. including natives of China and Brazil. The session then came to an end, adjourning to meet two years hence at Hot Springs. Ark.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-21
A Bitter Thought.

From PUCK.
 And why look'st so gloomy?" queried the godly young pilgrim as from the min ister's study he watched the disreputable person dragged to the ducking-stool. Cot ton Mather shook his head grimly.
 TO think" he said, that the descend ants of yon rapscallion will go down to posterity as colonial danes" and over come with the thought he turned once more to the proofs of his Lemon for Baptists or the Twenty-three Sign Hacked on Heretic and Nonbelievers."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-21
Faith Cure.

From the Chicago News.
 Tommy" said his Sunday school teacher, your cold Is much better than when I saw you last"
 ''Yes'm," answered Tommy. 'I cured 1t by prayin'."
 By praying? I am glad to hear you say that
 ''Yes'm, asked the Lord to take 1t away from me and give 1t to Dick Bingo, and Dicks got it, all right"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-21
In the Rush Lunch Room.

From the Chicago News
 ''Boss," shouted the big cook from the kitchen, i've have q lot of scraps out here that ain't working"
 Lot of scraps. eh 2" replied the pro- prietor of the Shovedown lunch room.
 iell, mix them all together, add a lt- tie fiery tabasco sauce and then put sign outside. Central America Pudding Today"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-21
Then He Got Busy.

From the Chicago Tribune.
 ,hy do you look at me like that you great awkward bear?'
 ''Oh, Miss Pimmie. IT protest I'm not a--a bear"
 Well, why aren't you?'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-05-21

Get on and off trains 18th and 20th streets Birmingham Trains stop at intermediate points to take and let off sengers. H. F. LATIMER Travelling Passenger Agent
Watson's weekly Jeffersonian., 1907-04-11
THE BUCKET SHOPS.
(The Hondo Herald.)

1t is claimed by the defenders of
the dealing in futures that the future
dealers and bucket shop manipulators
help the farmers by stepping in and
maintaining prices when the cotton
spinners have supplied their demands,
thus avoiding the slump in prices which
would inevitably follow the satisfying
the price governed alone by the natur-
al law Of supply and demand. They
claim that for this reason the ex-
changes should have the support of
the farmers, and at first blush it does
look reasonable. But let us examine
into this claim little. If the exchange
can maintain a fictitious value for a
surplusage of cotton can they not
just as easily depress the price Of it
while the bulk of it is in the hands of
the farmers and thus compel the pro-
ducers to sell for less than it's true
value? The deduction that they can
and do is but natural one. Now,
manifestly, it is dangerous to leave in
the hands of any set of men the power
to depress the price of cotton below
the cost of production while the same
is still in the producers hands
and advance it above it's natur
al and normal value after it
has left the producers hands and be-
fore it gets to the spinner. And yet
this is virtually the power the advo-
Gates of these gambling spectators
claim they possess. The exchanges
should be as summarily destroyed as
were the lotteries and other gam
bling devices.
Watson's weekly Jeffersonian., 1907-04-11
WHAT BAD ROADS COST.
birmingham Ag0-Hprald.) }


From 1894 correspondents the de-
partment of agriculture has ascer-
tanned number of facts of interest to
southern farmers. For example, it
has aScertained that in AZ counties in
Alabama the average weight of cotton
on farmers wagon going to market
IS LAB pounds, or three bales; that
the actual cost of carrying that load
to market is $2.77, or nineteen cents a
hundred pounds, or nearly dollar a
bale.
Statistics showing the expense of
hauling cotton were gathered from 555
counties, out of 500 in the cotton belt
The average cost of hauling was as
certained to be $2.76 a load, or six
teen cents hundred pounds.
The cost of hauling cotton from the
farms to shipping points could be re-
duced one-half by improving the
roads. Better roads would enable the
farmer to carry six bales to market,
whereas he now carries but three, and
this would reduce the average cost of
hauling to eight cents a hundred
pounds, or forty cents a bale. This
alone would be a saving in the cotton
belt of $4,000,000 Tennessee has the
best roads in the south, and the roads
in the Carolinas are pretty good, but
not much praise can justly be award
ed to the roads of this state or those
in Mississippi or Arkansas.
Watson's weekly Jeffersonian., 1907-04-11
INTERESTING ITEMS.

The average daily wage of Norwe-
gian printers is SO cents.
Aunt Salome Sellers of Deer Isle,
1O6 years of age, is now the Oldest
woman in the state of Maine.
The silk industry of the United
States now employs 79,6OO operatives
and is using $1O9,556,621 capital. A
few years ago the United States did
not have any silk industry"
Chinese cities object so strongly to
additional openings being made in
their walls that the new railways are
compelled to build their stations just
outside. Neither railways nor trains
can enter the cities.
Watson's weekly Jeffersonian., 1907-04-11
OUR COTTON MONOPOLY SAFE.
(The Charlotte Observer.)

(The Charlotte Observer)
We are hardly disposed to credit
the report from Berlin that the Ger
man government has offered to appro-
pirate $12,5OO,0o0 to encourage cotton
growing in Germany's colonies, pro-
vided the German manufacturers shall
raise a sum at least as large. All
English, German and French efforts
to break our cotton monopoly have
hitherto met with so little success that
further experiments, on such scale as
the Berlin report indicates, seem very
unlikely at this time. Though these
projects have ranged over the entire
period since the civil war and no
promising part of Asia, Africa, or trop-
ical America has been left untried,
Texas today produces about as much
as all non-American countries COM
Watson's weekly Jeffersonian., 1907-04-11

bined The southern states produce
over three-fOurths of the worlds crop.
1t is true that some of these expert
ments have apparently demonstrated
the possibility of success in case such
hindrances as the unattractivenesS of
the regions in question for white col
onists, lack of transportation facilities,
and difficulty in securing suitable labor,
are removed, but in the meantime lit
tie can be done. At BEST the work of
clearing the way for really impOr
tant competition with the American
grower must be tedious and expensive,
and the utmost possibilities Of any Of
these regions are no more than a
fraction of the south'S. 1t is no cause
for wonder that English spinners are
coming around to the view that, after
all, the required increase in the
worlds supply must be sought almost
entirely in the southern states for a
long time to come. The proposal to
buy cotton lands and cultivate them
will probably come to naught, as it
should, but this is beside the question.
If the foreign spinner will only help
southern growers to secure the labor
they need, his problem will have been
solved for an indefinite period. The
unquestioned ability Of southern soil
to yield crops several times as large as
the largest yet yielded is an assur-
ance that the tropics need not be re-
Questioned to keep the spindles of
the world from going hungry.
Not only can the south, granted suf-
ficient labor supply the increasing de-
mand for cotton, but the foreigner
will have no difficulty in getting his
share. The constitution of the United
States forbids export duties, and so
long as business is business whoever
comes down with the price will get
the goods without the least regard to
nationality or whether he is Teuton,
Colt, Dago, Slav or Mongol. Inas-
much as the American spinner must
bid against the foreigner, talk about
surplus available for eXport'-a
phrase properly applicable almost
solely to tariff-protected products-has
a rather empty sound in this connec-
ton. King Cotton's subjects abound
throughout the earth, but his throne
is immovably fixed in the southern
states Of the American Union.
Watson's weekly Jeffersonian., 1907-04-11
FARMERS PREP SCHOOLS,

There is no question about the cor
rectnesS of the view of President Bar
rett, of the Farmers Union. that the
district institutions recently estab-
Gshed are intended by those at the
head of educational affairs in this
state, not as the generous gifts to
the farmers that they purported to be,
but simply as feeders to the Omniver-
Gus state university. This was from
the first the idea held of this scheme
by the News and Sun and many others,
but was stoutly denied by those back
of the plan Now that the schools
have been bid in by different commu-
mites at a high price. denial is no
longer considered so necessary as
recent frank ACKNOWLEDGEMENT Of one
of the strongest advocates of the uni
versity shows.
The Darien Gazette says:
Some people object to calling those
agricultural schools colleges. We don't
think the name amounts to anything.
If these schools turn out good farmers
why IL ludCCClS uOC WudC yOu CdIl
them"
WhereupOn the Savannah Press, ed
tied by Hon. Pleasant A. Stovall, an
ex-trustee of the university and ac-
quainted with all it's workings, re-
plies:
"These district institutions are really
schools. In their nature they are pre-
paratory. They cannot confer diplomas
and they are designed merely to open
the way for farmer boys to begin the
study of agriculture and kindred
branches. If they do their work well,
it doesn't make any difference what
you call them, and the point made by
the Darien Gazette is a good one"
There you have it. Schools or col.
leges, or simply institutions" they
are not intended to turn out farmers,
but merely to open the way for farm
er boys to begin the study of agri-
cultural and kindred branches" Af-
ter they have thus consumed four
years in beginning" they can go to
the big college at Athens and take
fresh start.
That isn't the way they talked to
the Griffin people when they were
down here trying to get us to make
a big bid for one Of those nondescript
Watson's weekly Jeffersonian., 1907-04-11
SAMSON AND HIS SLAIN
BY SAN w. SMALL

Behold capitol bulk splendidly
On yonder hill! The morning suns rich flame
Swathes the fine figure we for Justice NAME
While underneath statecraft grinds drowsy
But all around "the fierce democrace,"
The people, rich poor swift or lame
Fight madly for the stakes Of Freedoms game
The gains of Greed against Gods equity
My Spirits vision comes! l seem to see
new-found Samson stand within the door
And rend the lion that usurped the State
He calls his brethren to new liberty
And richly feeds the spoliated poor
With food that erst the SLAUGHTERED lion ate
Watson's weekly Jeffersonian., 1907-04-11
HOW TO INTEREST MEMBERS.

President E. A. Calvin of the Texas
State Union has issued suggestive
program for the locals in his state the
object of which is to make the local
meetings interesting alike to both old
and young, as we'll as instructive.
Such parts as apply to conditions gen
orally we produce as follows:
l. Call to order by the president
2. Opening in ritualistic FORM
3. Music, either vocal or instrument
al
4. Opening address.
5. Suitable songs
6. Recitations.
Z. Song or music.
g. Debate on some live question.
8. Song or music.
TO- A few three-minute talks.
H. Business.
IL. Good Of the order
13. Closing song.
IA. Ritualistic work.
In this connection he has suggested
some live questions for debates.
The warehouse system and it's bene-
fits.
Is production greater than consump-
ton?
Should farmers keep complete rec
ords of all their transactions, and
how?
Should agriculture, stock raising and
horticulture be taught in the country
schools?
Should we have free textbooks fur
nished by the state?
Does gambling in futures affect the
price of farm products or interfere
with the law Of supply and demand?
Is it fair to the farmer for the gov
ernment to furnish to the world an
estimate of crop production without al
so giving to the world an estimate of
consumption?
If the middle men are eliminated,
how will farmers finance the move
ment of their crops?
What are the advantages Of owning
elevators and warehouses by the farm
ers?
Should farmers have governing
price and control markets for the dis
tribNtion of their crops?
Will cheap labor have tendency
to lessen the demand for and cheaper
farm products?
Can farmers own market houses and
distribute to consumers the products
of the farm and conduct the shipment
to central markets?
Can trade arrangements be made be-
tween labor unions in the cities and
farmers whereby the profits going to
unfair middle men will inure to the
benefit of both the producer and the
consumer?
Can Peter Tumble Down, who leaves
his stock and tools to the ravages of
the weather, compete with Paul Up
To Date, who feeds and shelters his
stock, paints his buildings and keeps
his farming tools in the dry?
Watson's weekly Jeffersonian., 1907-04-11

Institutions; but that's the way they
talk now that the whole matter has
been fixed-Griffin News.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1907-03-06

can be beneficial also in situations
where the soil is of sandy nature
where the subsoil is light and porous,
or where the inclination of the ground
appears sufficient to allow of ready
escape of the surplus water-does not
appear so evident, and is not unfre-
quently, therefore, matter of doubt
and difficulty.
1t may be useful, then, to briefly
consider the nature of the various sub
soils, as a possible knowledge of these
will enable us to settle any doubt as
to the advisability or not, of draining
any given piece of ground.
Beneath the immediate surface soil,
through which. the plow makes its
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1907-03-06
S O l L S
Their Physical Mature and Chemical Composition
and Possibilities.
No. s.
By A. T. Cuzner, NJ. D.

Having considered briefly in our
last article the connection that exists
between the soil and its natural pro-
ducts, we will return and consider
it's physical properties, and the effect
draining has on its fertility.
Among the merely mechanical
methods by which those changes are
to be produced upon the soil, that
are to fit it for the better growth
of valuable crops, draining is allowed
to hold the first place. That it must
be the first step in all cases where
water abounds in the surface soil will
readily be conceded; but that it
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1907-03-06

way and to which the seed is intrust-
ed, lies what is commonly called sub
soil. This subsoil occasionally con-
sists of mixture of the general con-
stituents of soils naturally different
from that which forms the surface
layer-as when clay above has a san
dy bed below, or light soil on the
surface rests on retentive clay be-
meath.
This, however, is not always the
case. The peculiar characters of the
soil and subsoil often result from the
slow operation of natural causes. In
a mass of loose matter of considerable
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1907-03-06
ONE OF OUR USE
LESS OFFICIALS.
Editor of Agriculturist::

Editor Of Agriculturist:
AS to the question of county treas
urer-possibly there are some fea-
lures to this that I need to be in
formed about, but it seems to me the
counties have about as much need
for paid treasurer as a wagon has
for five wheels. The tax collector
collects money and pays it over to the
treasurer, and he takes out his five
per cent. Money is needed for county
expenses, a check is drawn by the
proper authorities, authorizing the
treasurer to pay to Mr.. Blank GER
tain sum of money and Mr. Treasurer
gets another five per cent. It is true
there must be some one to do this,
and he must give bond.
I know Of states where the county
fathers, body with the same powers
possessed by the county commission
ers, will ask the banks in the county
seat or, if there is no bank in the
county that this board is willing to
trust, they ask other banks: "What
will you give to be made the county
depository? You to receive and re-
ceipt for all county monies offered
you, and to pay out money when a
properly drawn warrant is presented;
you to give good and sufficient bond
that you will receive and safely care
for our money and pay it out as we
desire it paid?" and the counties often
get several hundred dollars put into
their treasury instead of the five per
cent out, going and coming.
Now, which is better for the tax
payer to have to pay county treas
urer, or have the treasurer pay some
thing to the county for the use of
its money? The treasurer places the
money in some bank on deposit, and
usually gets the banks officials on
his bond The bank officials could
give good and sufficient bond to the
county commissioners and receive and
disburse the county money just as
we'll as any individual
Will some one please tell me why
this plan will not work in Florida
as we'll as in other states? I think
the treasurers' commissions should be
saved to help make good roads and
pay better salaries for teachers to edu-
cate the children of the state.
S. H. Gaitskil1.
Mcintosh, Fla, Feb 28, 1907.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1907-03-06
THE KUMQUAT
IN FLORIDA

A number of kumquats on rough
lemon stock planted on rather moist
ground have come under personal OBJ
servation in which it was found that
there was more or less copious flow
of gum from the region just above the
union of the stock and cion. In all
cases where this occurred it appeared
that the cion was the only part af-
fected. The trees were in an un-
healthy condition. The diseased con-
d1iion, if we may so designate it, did
net appear to be mal-di-goma, though
in some respects it resembled it. The
trouble may have been due to the fact
that the great foraging power of the
roots enabled them to collect, in GER
tain soils, more food than the less
rapidly growing top could readily as
simulate. t
On the other hand, on soils contain
ing less moisture and presumably less
fertility, number of trees budded up
on rough lemon roots have been ex-
amined which were vigorous and per-
fectly healthy. If one desires to use
the rough lemon stock for the kum-
quat on some soils the best plan would
be to adopt the practice to insert
ku:nquat buds in sprouts from rough
lemon roots which already support
and feed sweet or mandarin orange
top A perfectly healthy union is Sc
cured in all cases as most Of the food
gathered by the roots is used by the
larger and mora vigorous Top.
Regarding the stock used for the
kumquat in China, Mr. Fortune makes
the following statement: "The kum-
quat is propagated by grating on a
prickly wild species of citrus which
seems of more hardy nature than
the kumquat itself This fact should
be borne in mind when the plant is
introduced into this country; other
wise we shall have comparatively
hardy plant growing on tender one"
These remarks undoubtedly refer to
Citrus trifoliata, the stock now SO
commonly used throughout Northern
Florida for all varieties of citrus trees.
Sweet stock, on account Of it's sus
ceptibility to the attacks of mal-di-
gonna should not be used. On some
soils and in some localities the trees
might continue to live and thrive for
many years but there is no knowing
at what time they may become dis
eased The pomelo stock appears to
be entirely free from mal-di-goma and
it is we'll adapted to the kumquat
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1907-03-06

depth, spread over an extent of coun-
try, it is easy to understand how
even though originally alike through
it's whole mass-a few inches at the
surface should gradually acquire diff
lerent physical and chemical charac-
ters from the rest, and how there
should thus be gradually established
important agricultural distinctions be-
tween the first twelve or fifteen in
ches of soil, and the next fifteen in
ches (subsoiD and the remaining sub
strata or mass of deeper earth, which
does not come under the observation
of the practical agriculturist.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1907-03-06
Six Weeks for Ten Cents.

Until further notice we will send
the Agricnlturist six weeks for 10
cents to new subscribers only.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1907-03-06
Six Weeks for Ten Cents.

Until further notice we will send
the Agricu1turist six weeks for 10
cents to new subscribers only.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1907-03-06

Continued on page s.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-03-15
FUNERAL OF CAPT. MccATHRAN.
Remains Of Police official Inferred
This Afternoon.

Many friends of the late Capt McCath-
ran, who was in command of the fifth pre-
cnct police station for a number of years,
attended the funeral, from his late resi-
dence 211 10th street southeast, at 2 o'clock
this afternoon. Major Sylvester, Inspector
Cross, Acting Capt. Anderson and other
officials of the police department were
among those present. Numerous floral
tributes gave evidence of the high esteem
in which Capt. McCathran was held by his
associates and others.
The ceremonies were conducted by Rev.
E. H. Lamar, pastor of Wilson Memorial
Church. Representatives of the various or
CARNATIONS with which the deceased had
been connected were in attendance. They
included Washington Commandery, K. T.;
Naval Chapter, r. A. M. Naval Lodge, F.
A. A. NJ. Martha Chapter Order Of the
Eastern Star; Farragut Post. G. A. R., and
the Order of the Golden Cross. Upon con-
clusion of the services at the house the re-
mains were escorted to Congressional ceme-
terry by detail of policemen, where men,
bers of the orders with which the deceased
had been connected had charge of the
ceremonies.