Omaha daily bee., 1907-01-02
SAFE AND SANE YEAR AHEAD
Careful Observer Predicts Cycle Of RraO-
tical Benefits to ALL
DEAD LETTER RESOLUTIONS DOOMED
Stacking Cards and Dealing from the
Bottom of the Deck VIII
Become Obsolete Before
December 81.

Il can see a sane and safe year ahead
of u.s." remarked the Careful Observer
Tuesday morning when he and the Oldest
Inhabitant made their appearance on the
public thoroughfares with new woollen nit
tens and a large red apple each.
while 1906 was the most eventful year
in these United States since Chris Col
umbus came over in one-four-nine-two, 1907
promises big things, and 1 believe there
will be new deal all along the line. This
business of dealing from the bottom of
the deck and stacking the cards will have
become obsolete before the year is over.
1t will be possible before the end of the
| year for a person to leave a bunch OF
shingles or ham on the back porch over
night and find It there in the morning"
continued the Careful Observer by way OF
/ prelude.
zone OF the really healthy signs of the
times is the true estimate placed on New
Year resolutions. which are, generally,
snares and decisions" added the Oldest In
habitant.
No More Dead Letter Rules.
''Time was when it was the fashion for
| everyone, from the fodder to the octo-
genarian to swear on from one to four
teen habits. The housewife would resolve
to be more considerate of her neighbor, and
| vi JdnudTy . sic WOulu IAN lIOIn grace
by counting the pieces of washing on her
neighbours line and on January she would
tell the same neighbor what she thought
of persons who played their monographs
at midnight. The husband would swear
off smoking at u o'clock New Years night
and resolve to save his money and buy the
wife a new hat. On January he would
begin smoking again and buy his cigars
by the gross or carload lots and let his
wife hurry down back street so that
the neighbor over whose photograph she
had become exercised would not have a
chance to throw things at her or call her
family out for a bird's-eye view of the
neglected headdress.
"And, so, say, this fashion of swearing
off at New Years time is becoming a thing
of the past. People are realizing that there
is no time like the present in which to
improve each shining hour and to put into
practice the great moral awakening which
is sweeping the country from the Great
White Way in New York City to the ring
side at Tonopah. Everybody is going to be
good during 1907. The railroads and other
corporations are on probation and the
Omaha city council has promised 81 gas
Eject of the Pure Food Law.
81 am pleased with the Pure Food law
remarked the Careful Observer, as he
nodded recognition to a man who rode last
year on a street car pass and was out or
side street learning to walk.
zone Of the effects of the Pure Food Law
will be to cut of one OF the 1okemaker's
i sources of inspiration. Ever since George
I Washington felled the cherry tree the
8 photographers have always had a subject
; for a joke when the mother-in-law joke,
= ran out or the sweet girl graduate season
) waned. They would tell about the sand il
the sugar, or the cheese that had to b.
3 tied up. or the eggs that could walk. Of
= the sawdust breakfast food, or the sausag,
: with a loud bark. iand so on until people
4 wished they were Back with nature. eating
herbs and roots and playing all the eight
: hour day IN the tree tops. with no though
0 Of modes and fashions. certified milk. uni
4 versal transfers. tailor bills slot machines
: water boards, mornings after, biscuits lik
0 mother used to make. Indian outbreaks
: train wrecks steamboat explosions, beini
: killed with empty weapons. stepping oil
! tacks with bare feet employers llabillt,
: act, trial marriages. typography, simplife,
! spelling, Jell that won't Jell, hooky cows
n mules with large feet. poorly paid teachers
l. graft In the city hall, mice in the butte
i and gas meters that will not register.
1.-THE Pure Food law will be a panace
8 for many Ills, but II VIII not remove IN
9 causes of cold feet or dark brown tastes
IS More BrotherIy Love.
8 zone of the greatest things on the docke
a for 1907 is strengthening of the spirit o
brotherly love among the 100000 familie
|. or $4,000 900 persons in this country" addc'
Q the Oldest Inhabitant. II would not sa,
q there has not been brotherly love abroa
& in the land. but do say that that senti
Is ment has been crushed in the hurly-burl
N of commercial and social greed. At tn
y close of 1906 the wealth of the country wa
s1Os. OOO, 900 OOO seven-eighths of which wealt
q was owned by less than per cent of tn
u population. With federal regulation of tn
II big corporations, such rate reductions
Y no rebates. no passes, examination OF aC
counts and such reforms we are on the ev
- of a new era of American life. Brotherl
a love and the spirit of fairness will fruC
IT tuate and blossom like the rose"
~ Conditions are ripe for a good year. TIL
~ year for each OF us will be what me max
t. of It, and for the country what the ran
and file make, OF IL. With Teddy at tn
4, helm and Bryan booked six months ahea
"a think we will have happy and prosper