Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-02-07
LEGAL STRATEGY

Charles Lamb gives a funny account
Of the origin OF roast pig. The owner Of
4 litter Of Juvenile porkers, roasted tc
death by the casual burning Of the fam
lily sty. In picking about among ths
ruins and sorrowfully handling the
crisp remains CHANGED to burn his I'm
gers. Clapping them to- has mouth, be
tasted q pleasure 80 exquisite that II
made him at once forget his pain and
loss. Pouncins on the pri7e. be not only
dispatched the whole barbecue at q sit
ting, but licked his lips for more.
The story got wind, and the entire
country was ablaze with burning pig
pens, nor was It till many years after
that some adventurous innovator shock
ed the adherents Of conservative cook
cry by proposing new and less expen-
sive process Of preparing q faporite
dish.
1t Is not for US lawyers to laugh at
this. None has been more prone than
we to roast pigs according to precedent
All of US can remember when in every
action to recover the value Of one
mans property wrongfully appropriate
ed by another it was necessary to al,
lege a flctltic ; losing by the forms:
and finding the latter and all be-
cause the first case of the sort, hun
dreds Of years ago, happened to be one
Of real losing and finding. Nay. have
even known the loss and finding OF
patch Of cabbages to be solemnly aver
red, and no lawyer thought of smiling
at it.
In the department of evidence we
have been especially slow to learn. II
you want to know how cramped and
artificial its rules are just get into the
witness box to tell all you know about
some case and see how much you'll be
let to tell.
Very adroft was the march that Lite
Loomis stole on the ''stntute Of linita.
tons" Lie was the faetotum Of Guys
Neck. He did miscellaneous business
as carpenter, COW doctor and coffin
maker. adding - his ether functions
that sf undertaking 10 the county poor
house. he Was v1tAaI an easy, good
natUrcd fellow, free 10 Must And
most iaduigant 0ssdttor.
Among the ethers whom Lie had
trusted to his cost was Greg Grimes,
without exception the gsea test promise
maker and breaker IN Guys neck. !
reeily believe he would Il possible have
sut a osed1tor OF 70 the Aast tudgment
Ind then, ON the score OF its being a
'osy day. have hagsed him - Rait till
omorpow.
Greg had wheedled Lie with pgom-
Ses till the latter's claim was outlaw.
d." Losing patience At last, Lje took
is account over to the sQuireAs, when
D his NO small discontinue, he learned l
hat unless he could get new promise I
rom his debtor, with a witness to It,
. might whistle for his bill.
such fellows as Greg always know a I
ood deal OF law, especially the sharp
oints Of It. Greg would talk as freely !
nd was as full Of promises as ever
hen he and Lie were alone, but be-
,re others would either evade the sub {
'ct or else remain prowoAdngiy mum. Z
One day Lie drove Up to Gregs door
18th his old gray mare and spring wag. &
4, plain pine cofin-one Of those fat {
pped affairs deemed good enough for I
>or folks-being visible behind The 4
.at. {
"Mornin', neighbor," eah Lite. g
Same to you," said Gseg. sGdn' tn I
ant q pauper, see"
"Y-a-a-s. Old Boke tooR rather s,.1 (
ant leave last night and went to ln :
Re charity Of another world" 1
(which Is no more'n faAr,- saks Greg i
'eein' how long he's kped on &c char
? OF this" y
Would you mind gsttM' IN and com. {
along. neighborT" said Life. tits 8
lightly dull goin' to a fnnerai al alone !
, oneself q
6rsg didn't mind and straightway .
ounted by Ltte's side.
The two chatted away otter a sort
pso%e how cheerful good company
IN render even a grave occasion.
I Spoee you hevnt forgot that little q
II O. miner Life at last took the lib a
ty to hint.
Not by no MEANS" said Greg. Lets e
e, now. How much did you say It Z
as? I misremember rightly" I
Even 500, besides seven years in. s
rest" p
quite right" Greg assented. "Irec. II
lect it now"
EFF it's at all inconpenient to nav
y said Lie, don't put yourself out
| no account" e
I've been threatenin' to settle II for II
month back" said Greg, but times u u
" been tight, an'-an' how would
onday week do?"
TO dot" answered Lite.
''rll send it round" said Greg u
A curious sound came from the cof.
the ghost Of a chuckle, Durdles
ould have called it. Greg gave one -
mp and Tit" in an adjacent COW pas =,
re. Looking back, he saw Lies -
entice, the most mischievous in GUYS
eek, but with plenty Of sense and Of
wful age to be a witness, sitting I'D .
the coffin laughing like mad.
reg took in tho Situo{ior "a n ol,,oo