davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12

Don't get into the dumps and think that God Almighty has picked out such a miserable runt as you are upon which to wreak out a special yen- geance: you aren't big enough for a thing like that. Flies are not shot at with cannon.
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12
Don't Do 1t.

Should you have a cough or sore chest. do not rely on time and nature to cure They may do se-they may not. Use Simmons Cough Syrup. It is a balm for sore lungs and will cure you at once.
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12
To1o, Luck.

Hewitt-You look glum; what's the matter?
 Jewett-I've had bad news from my wife
 Hewitt-What is it? Jewett-Shes coming home.
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12

The first step toward the real ele- vatlon of the public school is the hnild- Ing Of good roads This is a purely To- cal matter. Make the roads good and you can consolidate the adjacent schools and raise the grade at once and can have better teachers and bet fer honSes
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12

Encourage the building of the fac tory Every time you take man on' Of the field and pu, him into a factory. you take away one of your competi- tors, get q new customer and add a competitor to your buying market three most admirable things.
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12

Candidates are grooming for the coming campaign, and vel will soon be facing the saving Of the country again. Put in a big and widely diver sifed crop and say nothing-keep too busy-but don't fail to vote.
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12

Farmers are the people; educate Is the proposition; cooperate is the plan, and Farmers Educational and Coop erative Union is the institution to car " all these things to the dignified and valuable end designed by nature.
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12
With a smooth iron and Defia,

With a smooth iron and Defiance Starch, you can launder your shirt waist just as well at home as the steam laundry can; it will have the proper stiffness and finish, there will be less wear and tear of the goods, and it will be positive pleasure to use a Starch that does not stick to the iron.
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12

Laundry work at home would be much more satisfactory if the right Starch were used. fn order to get the desired stiffness, it is usually neees- sary to use so much starch that the beauty and fineness of the fabric is hidden behind a paste of varying thickness. which not only destroys the appearance, but also affects the wear ing quality of the goods. This trou- ble can be entirely overcome by using Defiance Starch, as it can be applied much more thinly because of it's great CT strength than other makes.
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12

There are not many men in this country who have not many things to be thankful for. Those who have frit- tered away all the past ought to be thankful for the things that have been offered to them, at least.
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12
Her Method.

Ma, why does Sis sing so much when MT. Spoonamore is here?'
 T think, dear, she is trying to test his love-"
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12

FITS, St. Vitus Dance and all Nervous Diseases permanently cured by Dr. Kline s Great Nerve Restorer. Send for Free 500 trial bottle and treatise. Dr; R; II. Kline, Id, 93l Arch St., Philadelphia, Pa
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12

Nothing will insure permanent sue cess in any enterprise in life except native capacity cultivated by honest persevering effort.-George Eliot.
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12

The Santa Fe Railway IS planting trees 10 raise cross ties for future use. If they have figured out this as a good investment. how much better 1t is for you to plant tree every time you have a chance
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12
Considerinq.

After he had been in deep thought for several minutes Mir. Henpeck said:
 T have made up my mind"
 Have you?" his wife replied. ''It seems to me it took you a long time considering what you had to make up"
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12

Pigs, poultry, peanuts and prosper ity is smilingly inviting the Southern farmer to get busy and enter upon the joy of real living.
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12

Have you planted as many trees this year as you have destroyed? If not, you are leaving the world worse off in that respect than you found it.
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12

The man who correctly foretells the day on which cotton will reach 15 cents will eclipse any of the great number who lay claim to fixing the date on which Galveston was storm SWpDt
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12

It Is possible to draw out a man and make him interestingly it's differ ent with a sermon.
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12

Most of the people in this country who are too busy talking about hard times have simply read about it in the papers.
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12

It is about time to say again that those in the boil weevil districts should have a big burning of all trash
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12

You owe it to yourself to do all and to be all that is in you. Are you measuring up to your responsibility
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12

Get busy getting ready for next year. It is the ready man who gets all the plums.
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12

Take day off to fight the imple- ment and vehicle trust by painting up your vehicles and farming tools.
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12

Gerald-Will you fly with me?
 Geraldine-No; it isn't fly time yet.
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12
SOMETHING OF A. cYNIc.
Papa Had Extreme Views on ire Sub.
 jeet sf Marriage.

Miss Marie cahill. the actress. chose the chorus girls for her new play, Marrying Mary. by measurement. The Bertillon system was employed.
 By this excellent system of meas urement," said Miss Cahill the other day, "one gets. in a chorus girl. the real thing Mirage is avoided. You know what a mirage is9 Quite sure? Well, at any rate. I'll point out it's meaning to you with a story.
 ''A boy looked up from his book one night.
 Father, he said what is mi. rage?'
 The faraer answered glibly from behind his paper:
 The union of man and woman till death or the law them do part
 But said the boy, that's mar riage. ain't it2'
 Same thing. sonny; it's the same thing. replied the father A man imagines he sees wonders and delights where there is nothing. Fight shy of em both, my boy''
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12

The farmer who Is trying to D. a Union man and is not keeping 8 few stands of bees is making a sort of a failure. Fact,
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12

Get on good terms with the birds; they are your bes friends.
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12
NEW STRENGTH FOR OLD BACKS.
No Need to Suffer Every Day from
 Backache.

Mrs. Joannah Straw. 596 North Broadway. Canton. s. D. says: For
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12

Reports of full bags of birds are al most daily heard on the streets and in the mantime the farmer must some up smiling next year in his fight against the boil weevil.
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12

An old bachelor says that some wom- en marry for the purpose of obtaining ,a listener who cant get away.
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12

There are bad roads where there are no split log drags.
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12
oSJyo>r .I;KoNo oUININE-

That is LAXATIVE BRoMO QUININE. Look for the signature of D. ". GROVE. Used the World over 10 Cure Cold in One Day. 2oc.
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12

The Farmers Union Is not bornd down by any fads or fancies. but is at all times open to any better ways of doing things
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12

There never has been enough good eggs to flood the market. and most any sort of an old hen is willing to swap eggs for good feeding.
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12
PILES CURrD DIS6TO14 DAYS
And They Didn't Elope,

PAZO OINTMENT Is guaranteed to cure any cas- of Itching. Blind, Bleeding Protruding Piles il D to I4 days or money refunded. 50e.
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12

The right sort of cotton holding movement, that eliminates the banks and the merchants, is the only success ful one It's a darned shame that the farmers of this country, the real wealth producers, won't get together in anything without q bunch of polti- clans at the head of the thing and a bunch of bankers and merchants at the bottom of it. The pride of the "in- dependent farmer who feeds them all" should come down, or else he should have sense enough to make good his pride and boast.
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12

Get ready to raise plenty of fruit and tomatoes. You can put up all you can't sell green, and the market is not half supplied with stuff that is good.
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12

The main issue this year is a good crop of such variety that there will be something to the credit side of the ledger when the year Is gone
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12

KUR. EDWARD NJ. BTRTT, 5 \. Jef- M ferson Ave, St. Louis. Mo, writes "ltaffords me much pleasure To an nounce that 1 have used your medicine at various times for several years. and that it has given entire satisfaction, not only in my own family. but also that of others of my friends. And would cheer fully recommend the use of Peruna, as I certainly do endorse your medicine. "
 catarrh of Head, Nose, Throat.
 Mir. Charles Levy. so Allen St., New York. N. Y, writes;
 ''I am very glad to tell you of the cures wrought by Peruna in my family.
 My son, aged seven, who had ca tarrh of the nose, was cured by two bottles of Peruna. and had catarrh of the head, nose, throat and ears. One bottle of Peruna cured me"
 Pe-ru-na Tabiets:-S Some people prefer tablets, rather than medicine in fluid form. Such people can obtain Peru ma Tablets, which represent the solid medicinal ingredients of Peruna. AsIf Your Druggist for Free Pernna
 Almanac for 1908.
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12

The potential enemies of the vehicle trust that is getting the best of the farmer are the good shed and a bucket of very oily paint. Use both very freely
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12
Tn,Ior.s chereIsee Remedy of sweet

Hum and NniIeh ls Nature gIeat rem- edv-Cures Coughs. Colds, Group and Con sungt ion. and all throat and lung troubles. At druggists, 25e 50e and sl00 per bottle.
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12
Important to Mothers.

Examine carefully every bottle o1 CASTORIA a safe and sure remedy for infants and children. and see that it s5sss's,s sssi; the ZMAZzz1 In ITsn For Over 3O Years
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12
STAND YOUR GROUND. FARMER.

Hold your cotton. farmers' Don't allow those Wall Street thieves and l plnnderers 10 bluff you.
 They abused you and bluaed you when you asked the government to create real money to the amount of so per capita You knew that'what the country needed was a larger vol ume of real money But they loughed at you, lied about you, cheated you out of your votes and never rested un- til they got the constitution amended by a treasury ruling and an act of Congress. and thus fastened the sin gle gold standard upon you
 Then. when the sound money gen tlemen had shruuk tae volume of mon. ey of final payment. they flooded the country with deiusa af baak paper. Heetei tr1 ele5tt dollars au every siu= gle eae of tbe reat t1-5aas and fe8stet surtH tH.aeasly on eomaaaad Interest on tletE eaa aeE,S.
 Thea. 5ae fae d1y. somebody got scareI ana Waste5 reaA -eaee Ills fright scared tfe-y aets else. and .hzn every body Wzu5t1 req eaes
 Bnt len msa veze ee=t-tcz far each one of those ssa, 5galzs- aud ten demands t2r I, Ne.e a-a5sz 4. E-s sam time and place.
 Resait, Paa.cs
 Bat farmers, stand a=a,
 Let those silk hat thieves and piaa- derers who laughed at you zad robbed you, sweat awhile
 One of them has already shot his head off If the rest of them would do the same thing. the panic would become papular-so much SD. indeed, that we would even become fond Of these cheap and funny looking things that they call clearinghouse certii. cates.-Natson's Weekly Jeffersonian.
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12

It is always safe to plant pigs and poultry.
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12

Think about it,-Farlners' Union.
The Monticellonian., 1907-12-12
ReconciIed to the Inevitable,

In Use For Over 30 Years.
 The Kind You Have Always Bought
, 1907-02-21
CURED HIM OF CALF LOVE.
Actress Ruse That Got Rid Of I'm.
desired Admirer.

Miss Maud Branscombe the famous
actress, relates an amusing story con-
corning the u~nappreciated attentions
of a youth who once fell in love with
her. The young mans parents were
much concerned about the matter,
and implored the actress not to mar
ry him.
"Il give him a sound t%hrashing,"
said the father.
Don't do that" said Miss Brans-
combe. There is a better way Of
curing him. After the performance
this evening I'll put on an old dress
and hat, and make myself up to look
quite ugly. You bring your boy
around to the stage door and point
me out to him a. / come out"
This was done. and 81 cleverly was
the ruse carried out that Miss Brans-
combe heard the youth exclaim to his
father as she passed them:
MY golly! I thought she was
pretty!"
, 1907-02-21
LIMIT TO N {
John Burroughs Scouts IL
They Commit suieiae.

Il do not believe that animals ev
commit suicide. I do not bellev
that they have any notions of death,
or take any note Of time, or ever put
up any BLUM game. or ever deliberate
together. or form plans or forecast
the seasons.
They may practice deception, as
when a bird feigns lameness or par
alysis to decoy you away from her
nest. but this, of course, is instinct
i've and not conscious deception.
There is at times something that
suggests cooperation among them. SO
when wolves hunt in relays, as they
are said to do. or when they hunt in
couples. one engaging the quarry
In front while the other assaults 1t
from the rear; or when quail roost
upon the ground in a ring, their
tails In the center, their heads out
ward; or, as when cattle or horses
form q circle when attacked in the
open by wild beasts, the cattle with
their heads outward and the horses
with their heels.
"Of course, all of this is instructive
and not the result Of de~liberation,
writes John Burroughs in Outing.
The horse always turns his tail to
the storm as well, and cows and
steers, II l remember rightly, turn
their heads"
, 1907-02-21
MANY PLACES
ARE VACANT
UNITED STATES CIVIL SERVICE
COMMISSION TO HOLD Elk
LIMITATIONS IN SPRING.
Qualified Persons Who Are Legal Resi-
dents Of wyoming Especially Invit,
ed to Take These Examinations
Stenographers and Typewriter Of
Both Sexes Wanted.

The United States civil service com.
mission invites especial attention to
the examination for railway mail clerk
scheduled throughout the United States
during the spring of 1907.
AS the commission has experienced
great difficulty in securing eligibles
from the following states and terrific
ries, qualified persons who are legal
residents thereof are particularly in
vited to apply: South Carolina, Flori-
da, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana,
wyoming, California, Nevada, Alaska,
Arizona, Idaho, Utah, North Dakota,
Montana, Arkansas, Indian Territory.
Blanks to Be Used.
Full information relative to the
places, dates, subjects, and scope OF
the examination is contained in form
14O7, Information for Applicants for
the Railway Mail Clerk Examinations"
Age limit, IS to 35 years IN the date
of the examination.
Inc MINIMUM utl6hL ltquiicLiSht vi
applicants has been reduced from 5
feet 6 inches to 5 feet 5 inches, exclu
sive of boots or shoes; and the mini
mum weight requirement has been
lowered from 1876 to 100 pounds in or.
| binary clothing, without overcoat and
hat.
This examination is open to all cid.
gems of the United States who comply
with the requirements.
Stenographers Wanted.
1t is especially desired to secure
eligibles from which to make certifica-
ton for filling the following vacancies:
S~tenographer and Typewriter (fe-
male), $500 annum. office Of the col
~lector of internal revenue, Seventh dis.
trict, Lexington, KY.
St%enographer and typewriter (male),
5000 per annum, in the Blue mountain
(west) forest reserve, Oregon.
S~tenographer and typewriter (male)
5000 per annum, Chestnut forest re-
serve, Oregon.
, 1907-02-21
Color. for Emotions.

Leon Gozlan, the poet, has given
the impression Of colors which he
gets from emotions. Thus he says:
Piety makes him feel pale blue;
resignation pearl gray; Joy a pretty
apple green; safety a pale chocolate;
pleasure a beautiful velvety pink;
sleep suggests tobacco smoke: refec-
ton is orange; pain a sooty black,
and boredom is chocolate.
Having to pay a bill makes him feel
lead-colored, while to receive money
calls up visions Of flaming red. Rent
day is burnt Sienna. To go for the
first time to meet the object Of his
admiration gives him a week tea color
feeling, but the twentieth meeting
like the color Of very strong tea. No
color is suggested by happiness, for he
says he has never known It.
, 1907-02-21
Nature. Complexion Bath.

do you know what makes the COM
plexions of the English women SO
beautiful" asked the woman who has
been there. They deliberately walk
about in the rain. They don't carry
umbrellas. They wear ~raincoats,
owe their hair with the hoods of
them, and go ahead. I have seen
them walk with their faces upturned
to catch the misty rain that is always
more or less in the English atmos-
phere. 1t is pretty tough on the little
corkscrew curls they make around
their faces with the curling iron; but
it's just about the best thing in the
world for the complexion"
, 1907-02-21
The Good Little Cent.

DR.. Munhall recently closed a sue.
cessful religious campaign in Emporia,
says the Kansas City Journal. A
great many pennies had been put in
the offering, and his attention was
called to this. One night he held up
a silver dollar and a copper penny
and gave a conversation held by the
two coins. you poor little red cent,
you; you don't amount to anything,
I'd hate to be you" said the big dollar.
II know I'm not very big" replied the
cent, "but the children like me, and
l car buy a good many things" Huh!
you can't buy anything at all" said
the dollar. Just look at me. big and
bright and shiny. I can buy a whole
lot more than you can" Maybe So"
said the little red cent, meekly. but
1 go to church q heap oftener than
you do anyway"
, 1907-02-21
Bismarck. Love Of Authority

At nine p. m. we took tea with the
king. I was seated opposite him, when
a footman came and whispered in my
ear that Bismarck desired to see me.
Great embarrassment! Puckler hav.
ing told me I might leave the table, I
did so. The king inquired what was
the matter, and permitted me to 60.
Bismarck had nothing Of particular
importance to tell me, and / suspect
that he only wanted to show that he
had the right to send for his employees
even when they were with the king
From the Hatxfeldt Letters.
, 1907-02-21
LARAMIE YOUNG LADY
HELPS BUNNY WRITER

Helen Sodergreen is n nice little
girl who lives IN Laramie, Wyo.. says
Bide Dudley in the Denver Post. Hell
en- says she likes to read Smoke
wreaths." Monday she decided to help
the awful-looking man who conducts
this column out a little and she wrote
the following note: 81 am a girl Of
10 years and my father takes the Den
yer Post. My brothers. sisters and l all
read the Smoke Wreaths,' and are
so pleased with them that thought
I would write a few I made up. Your
respectfully, Helen Sodergreen."
Here's Helen's first one
A HARD QUESTION.
Teacher Ito little boy)-Tommy,
what does hammer spell?
Tommy don't know, ma'am.
Teacher-What does your brother
drive nails with?
Tommy-A stove-hook.
, 1907-02-21
KILLED BY RoWDY.
Wyoming Man Murdered by ~lntoxicat-
ed Man at P%ittsbura.

Pittsburg, Pa, Feb. 21.-"Dance, l
tell you," John Johnson, flourishing a
revolver, is alleged to have command
ed A. B. Shannon, a civil and mining
engineer of Efell, Wyo. Instead Shan
non fred three bullets into the others
body. AS Johnson fell he sent a bull
let into Shannon's heart, killing him
instantly.
Shannon was on his way to Waynes-
burg, Pa, to visit relatives, when he
encountered johnson, who is said to
have been intoxicated. Johnson is not
excepted to live.
, 1907-02-21
Vendetta In ALGERIA.

A determined Arab vendetta has
lust run Its murderous course at Fer
mana, in Algeria. A man named
Fared-ben-Aissa had determined to
kill a fellow resident Of one Of the
mountain villages. named Hussein-
alfba-Ahmed, and never went abroad
without his gun. The other day the
two men. both carrying loaded guns,
met face to face in a quiet spot in the
mountains. Instantly Jared drew his
weapon to his shoulder and fired. Hus-
sein fell. but rising, rapidly got his
own shot In. Jared in turn falling with
a shattered thigh. He managed, how
ever. to nerve himself for a second
shot, and Hussein fell dead with his
chest shattered. Jared will have to
undergo amputation Of the leg.
, 1907-02-21
Quaint ~luxemburq.

Only a twelfth as large as Holland.
the little grand-duchy of Luxembourg
Is one Of the most delightful OF Euro
pean countries. Yet 1t is almost al
ways neglected by the tourist who
travels from Paris to Berlin uncon-
scious of It's rearness. Luxembourg is
free and independent, and according
to Robert S~hackleton, writing in
Harper's Magazine for January, 1t Is
quaint and fascinating. 1t boasts free
speech and a free press. 1t has free
schools OF commerce, philosophy.
farming. gardening. manual training,
and h~ousewifery. But with all its
modernity its ways are still old and its
customs characteristic. including an
annual official hunt for wild boar; and
when the city bells ring out the hours,
they play some operate bit or a strain
from a gay song.
, 1907-02-21

Probably the greatest sufferer from
the discontinuance Of free passes is
the Pullman company. Very few o.
the thousands who received free raft
way transportation enjoyed any favers
at the hands of the Pullmans. They
paid for their berths like other passen.
gers. Riding without cost, they gen.
orally felt able to indulge in the lux
ury Of a bed. Cutting off the bulk of
this travel has cut OF many thousands
of the Pullmans' e In fact,
hundreds of sleeping cars are hauled
back and forth now that are little more
than SO many empties. Any CONNER
cial traveller will bear witness to this.
Kansas City Journs'
, 1907-02-21

The common people fear above
everything the hospital. says the Paris
Eclalr. They are badly received and
questions are put to them in q loud
voice in the presence OF patients. stu.
dents and visitors. The modesty OF
women is not respected. The poor
have the right to demand when they
are under examination the observa-
ton of the elementary laws OF mod
esty: they have also the right to de-
mand of doctors professional secrecy.
, 1907-02-21
A~LLoTMENTs NOT MADE.
Reputed Registration Agents Are
Somewhat Previous.

Washington, Feb. 21.-Representa-
tive Lacey of Iowa has made q state.
ment concerning letters which have
been addressed to veterans of the Civil
and Spanish-American wars by a reput-
ed registration agent soliciting the old
soldiers to enter their names for lands
to be opened in the Flathead Indian
reservation. AS a matter OF fact, says
Mr.. Lacey, the surveys of the reserva-
ton have not been completed, mol have
allotments been made.
, 1907-02-21
Law Wire, from Motor cvcI.,

A new application of the motor cycle
to military service has been invented
In A stria. It concerns the quick lay
Ing Of telephone and telegraph wires.
In front Of the cycle is installed a
cylindrical roll or reel upon which the
wire is wound, and a man sitting in
the moving car lays the wire, by
means Of q long pole, either in the
tops Of the trees, or, If there are non
in bitches or cutters. With the new
apparatus three miles Of wire may be
laid in IL minutes.