The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1907-01-18
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"What happens when people fall in
love at first sightT Usually marriage
and second sight"
"Do you think he will make her a
good husbandY mo, / think she will
make him good husband"
She-Sir, if you attempt to kiss me
l shall call for help. He-For help?
Why, my dear girl, am capable of do
ing it alone Answers.
Candid Friend-You will have to
work hard to win an heiress. Impe-
cunious One-I'll have to work a jolly
sight harder still If | don't.-Tit-B
Mrs. Aijen-Oh, really, that's nice!
And did he truly say l didn't show my
age? Mrs. Cutting g-Well-er-he said
you were always very careful to conceal
it.
Jason-Many wise word is spoken
in jest. Mason-Yes; but they can't
compare with the number of foolish
ones spoken in earnest.-Cassell's Jour-
nal.
Hello, old man, and how do you en-
joy married life, eh? Ever have any
differences Of opinion with your wife,"
"Yes, but l don't let her know about
them"
Father (sternly) SO you've failed
again in your examinations How do
you explain that? Son-Because they
went and asked me the same questions
as before.
Customer Cat BOOKSTORE you
work ON the art of letter writing?
New Salesman-No, sir. should think
you could learn that at any correspond
ence school.
Fred (sadly)-It's no use. / told
your father that / couldn't live without
you. Edith-And what did he say to
that? Fred-Oh, he offered to pay my
funeral expenses.
She-That's all very pretty, Jack;
but do you think we can live on love
and kisses? He-It's much the safest
everything else is either adulterated,
or poisoned, or tainted.-Life.
"What are you going to call your
verses?" asked JoakIey. ga Broken
Vase" replied Rimer. "Ah! that re-
minds me of little thing servant
girl of ours dashed off the other day."
She-And are you really SO much
better since you returned from abroad?
He-Yes. I'm quite another man. She
We'll, Pm sure all your friends will
be delighted to hear it And he is now
wondering If she meant anything
George The ring doesn't seem to fit
very well, Clara. Hadn't | better take
it back and have it made smaller?
Clara-No, George; an engagement ring
is an engagement ring, even if had to
wear it around my neck.-Tit-Bit
Father Cat head Of stairs) Ethel,
what time is it? Ethel Tin the draw
ing room)-It's quarter past ten,
father. Father-All right. Don't for
get to start the clock again after the
young man goes out to get his break
fast.
Laird-Well, Sandy, you are getting
very bent. Why don't you stand straight
up like me, man? Sandy-Eh, mon, do
you see that field O. corn over there?
81 do" "Weel, yell notice that the
full heids hang down, and the empty
ones stand up"
'Ive come to the conclusion" said
the mild pessimist, "that | must have
been born great" "You don't say?' re-
marked Sinnickson. Eyes; at any rate
there doesn't appear to be any chance
of my achieving greatness or having 1t
thrust upon me"
. A certain popular preacher is very
absent-minded. One day his wife came
into his study crying in agony, "Oh!
have swallowed a pin" He smiled ten
derly: "Don't worry, my DEAR" he said,
as he fumbled at his waistcoat, "here,
here is another pin!"
She-Here's an interesting story Of
man who begged to be sent to prison
in place of his wife. He-Aha and yet
you always declare that men are never
She-Well, this mans
wife happened to be a washerwoman,
and if she went to prison he'd have to
Smiths Weekly.