Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-04-21

I'm this column win be answered all questions OF
should write on one side Only and address ,heIr let,
te.s Uncle Jasper" Star Office. In case OF din.
week or two. Consequently it may be advisable for
all questioners to watch this column carefully
SHRINKING JANE-While passing Car
negie Hall in New York the other day
saw emerge from the building an extremely
gentle and dignified white haired old man
wearing black eye and a bandaged head
What brute could have done that? Ave
don't care to mention names but undoubt-
eddy 1t was a fellow delegate to the peace
congress then in session. A great deal WAS
accomplished in the way Of harmony and
pacification.
MARIE L. Yves. Marie. IL election
day next year falls Friday We should
consider the chances against Mr.. Bryan's
election to the presidency. Why confine
your question to that day, little one?
JONES.-Is 1t difficult to become well ac-
time? A.-Not at all After your introduc-
ton pick up blotter from his desk moist
en- 1t thoroughly with red ink and draw it
playfully across his left cheek He VIII
lose his reserve almost Immediately.
CUR1OUS-Has former Secretary OF the
Treasury Shaw changed since he became
New York business man? A.-Not at all
We met him on Fifth avenue the other day
and he stopped to tell US few. His stories
haven't changed. either
BENEDICTS.-How do you explain the
origin of the superstition that two can live
as cheaply as one? A-Probably the one
never paid his bills.
LITERARY.-Dear Uncle Jasper 7 Will
give 500 to any charity you may name If
you will tell me the name of literary work
OF accepted standard that have not read
A.-The Bible. This is easy money. Send
check to the Uncle Jasper Aid Society.
Thanks. Lit.
done for the people of the country to war
rant him I'm expecting political reward
A.-Hadn't you heard Jack? He beat
Pullman car porter srandalously just the
other day. Good presidential timber I'm
Tom.
P. X. YIN a down town lunch room the
other day between IL and o'clock l
eleven well-dressed and prosperous looking
men hold up the cashier for the price OF
coffee and rolls. How do you explain a
thing like that? Avery simple. after all.
The Masonic fair is in full blast
LOCAL.-Has Mrs Ida Van Claussen an
nounced what she is going to do now? A
Oh yes Mrs. Van Claussen intends to get
letter of Introduction from King Oscar Of
Sweden to President Theodore of the L. :.
She thinks that will simplify matters and
possibly secure her interview at the
White House Foxy Ida!
JAMES.-Do American papers have any
sale I'm Japan? A.-Not until recently has
this been true. 1t Is understood that all
editions of the San Francisco papers. con-
tanning the news of the Indictment Of
Mayor Schmtz and others are being
eagerly brought up in advance for dis
tribution throughout the kingdom justin
catum ct ultimatum.
All labor ia suspended
On the Panama canal
Sanitation rests auiesrent.
The talks all personal:
Everything awaiis discovery
tYoull admit til. tasks no SLOUGH,
OF the rnsralv nIosauito
Carrying round he germ or crouch
IT. Fl. K.-what was J. P'crpont Morgan's
historic advice to Hartman? A.-"Go In
for art young man: go in for art"
NJ. NJ N.-Where is Mr. Fairbanks just
now? A-Back on his Indiana farm filling
the ice house. He doesn't find 1t hard
work.
PETER-Was there anything remarka bic
about that Steve Johnson dinner out in
Oshkosh the other night? Ayes: 50 far
as is known none OF the guests said any
thing likely to attract the attention OF the
chief. executive and no state secrets were
discussed or conspracies formed odd place.
Oshkosh
Spring is here the robins say.
But I'm usrd to this old blum
Spring De here bur III she IS
She's hanging to her nun
UNCLE JASPER.