The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-06-23
Mothers Pies.

Mothers Pies.
 I am glad that Dr. Wiley, chief chemist of the agricultural department, has gone after the adulteraters of ple-fller with a big stick.
 Dr. Wiley is the arch-enemy of those mercenary manufacturers who dare to tamper with the gastronomo machinery l of the human mechanism witi. all sorts of poison labeled as food.
 I hope his present campaign will result in giving us pies like those our mothers used to make, but this desire is backed by small hope. Even though we are given chemically pure pie filler the baker and the factory where pies are made by machinery cannot be forced to be as gen. erous as the indulgent mothers who pre- ] pared our pies IT hduScy boyhood 1 The pies of the present day are snare and disappointment. The anticipation of a succulent confeetion often gives us thrill of the old time gastronomc im- patience but the soggy realization is often worse than a nightmare and rising from the forced "enjoyment" we are led to wonder if the memory of mothers pies | is not an hallucnation-a brainstorm In the cogwheeIs of recollection.
 But mothers pies were real. They were l the distilled essence of pe-perfection and the memory of their honest fullness and | Christian purity Is all that leads us Into the temptation of the modern deluslon | thereby snapping one more thread in the skein of our faith and advancing the moral and physical suicide of the race. | Mothers pies were crisp a frosty November morning and as sweet as the | heart of a jasmine. They brought joy | to the heart and peace to the stomach. They were the highest reward of virtue and as a peace offering were more than compensatory for punishment. We for got the pain of the slipper in the soothing gladness of pie.
 I am glad that Dr. Wiley remembers the pies his mother used to bake and has rebelled against the delusion of the modern manufacturer in the name of the pie poisoned people.
 Mount Rooseveltbust. l Up to 1 :37 :26 o'clock this morning, the | time this department is closed Mount Rooseveltibust was still in a state of suppressed volcanic inactivity. | Brainstorm scientists, however are | keeping night watch, momentarily expect l ing the periodical eruption.
 The last outburst of this human seismic | phenomenon was so violent and received such a vigorous dash of ice water that 1t | is thought possible that the next spectacle may be delayed for a few days
 Every age of the world has produced its freaks to amuse the strenuous nerves of | a morbidly sensational race but the first decade of the twentieth century seems to be working over time in Its production | of monstrosties.
 But chief of them all and the wonder of the world Is the tlreess critic ego | Americanicus Presidentibus. He imagines that he was not only employed by the | American franchise to execute the poli- cies of the republic, but also to correct the evils of society, the errors of sect, the infdelity of husband and wife, meth ods of seeding prunes. the trend of the flctionists imagination and the color of spring hosiery.
 His periodical inhammations on these and ivers other unexpected subjects have become the chief diversion of the Amer ican people. and while they make the blood jingle with westive pleasure. we are sensitive to the national shame that often | covers us like a miasmic fog.
 Senator Morgan's Honesty.
 Senator John T. Morgan died a com paratively poor man at an advanced age. No one questions the success of his ca reer. aHis life was an eminently active one and yet he died poor.
 He was an honest man. This fact is l declared by both friends and political enemies. His poverty is proof of his scrupulous honesty. It may be that an honest man may become rich but there | is good reason for doubt.
 The Book says that it is as difficult for q rich man to enter heaven as it is for a camel to pass through the eye of needle. Critics and theologists of one | stripe and another have tried to explain | away the nteralness of this assertion, bue | I believe every word of 1t Is gospel truth ! At any rate 1t is no discredit to Senator Morgan that he died poor.
 The Divorce Compact.
 Mrs. Ella Rawles Reader, the well known f1nancier of New York, and who | by the way, was at one time a struggling stenographer in Birmingham, has solved | the problem of matrimonial felicity that might be we'll for other candidates to con- l sider.
 She made a divorce compact with her husband prior to the marriage that Is | they each agreed to a legal separation | in the event that they were not mutually satisfied with the union thirty days after the ceremony.
 They have now been married five years | and both confess that they are happy They even go into public print with the | delicate confession.
 That this condition is due to the divorce ] agreement is doubtful, but the compact is handy and might serve a good pur- pose in an emergency. Some husbands and some wives work better under com pulsion. They must be impressed to be good as it were. They work better in | harness.
 I agree with Mrs. Reader that bond and security from the husband is not a bad idea in some instances and especially in cases like her own. She married MT.
  |