The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-07-15
Mark Twain to the Pilgrims

The following is the text of the speech
which Mark Twain addressed to the Pill
grims in London on June %:
Pilgrims, l desire first to thank those
undergraduates of oxford. When a man
has grown so old as l am, when he has
reached the verge of q years, there is
nothing that carries him back to the
dreamland of his life, to his boyhood, ike
recognition of those young hearts UP yon-
der And so I thank them out of my
heart. 1 desire to thank the Pilgrims of
New York also for their kind notice and
message which they have cabled over
here Mr.. Birrell says he does not know
how he got here. But ne will be able
to get away all right-he has not drunk
anything since he came here.
l am glad to know about those friends
of his, Otway and Chatterton-fresh, new
names to me. l am glad of the DISPOSE
the evils of poverty, and If they are stun
in London, L hope to have a tax with
them. For while 1 thought hit was
going to tell US the effect which my book
had upon his growing manhood l thought
he was going to tell us how much that
effect amounted to, and whether it really
made him what he now is; but with the
discretion born of parliamentary expert
ence he lodged that and we do not know
now whether he read the book or not
He did that very neatly. L could not do
it any better myself.
MY books had had effects and very
good ones, too, here and there, and some
others not so good. There is no doubt
about that. But / remember one monu-
mental instance of it years and years
ago. Professor Norton of Harvard was
over here, and when he came back to Bo5-
ton 1 went out with Howells to call on
him. Norton was allied In some way oy
marriage with Darwin. Mr.. Norton was
very gentle in what he had to say, and
almost delicate. and he said: Mr.. Glenn
ems, I have been spending some time with
Mr. Darwin in England. and 1 should like
to tell you something connected with that
visit. You were the object of it, and
L myself would have been very, proud
of it, but you may not be proud of it
At any rate l am going to tell you what
Ii was, and TO leave you to regard 1t
as you please. Mr.. Darwin took me up to
his bedroom and pointed out certain
things e-pitcher-plants. and so on.
that he was measuring and watching from
| day to day-and he said, The chamber
maid is permitted to do what she pIeases
| in this room, but she must never touch
| those plants and never touch those DOCKS
on that table by that candle. with those
| books l read myself to sleep every night
| Those were your own books. L said,
| There is no question to my mind as to
whether 1 should regard that as a COM
| pliment or not. 1 do regard 1t as a very
| great compliment and very hlgh honOr
| that that great mind, laboring for the
whole human race, should rest itself on
my books. / am proud that ne shOuld
/ read himself TO sleep with them. L could
/ not keep that to myself was so PROUD
/ OF it. As soon as 1 got home to Hartford
| I called up my Oldest friend-and dearest
enemy on Occasion-the Rev. Joseph
| Twitchell, my pastor, ana toid II MN m
about that, and Of course he was full OF
| interest and venom Those people who
| get no compliments like that feel ike
that. He went off. He did not issue any
| applause of any kind, and 1 did not hear
| of that subject for some time. But when
Mr. Darwin passed away from this lie,
and some time after Darw1ns Lire ana
| Letters came out. the Rev. Mr.. Tw1tchell
I IN carly of that WORK ana
! found something in Ii which ne conslu-
/ cred applied to me. He came over TO my
| house-it was showing, raining. sleetlng,
but that did not make any difference TO
Twitchell. He produced the book, and
/ turned over and over until he came TO
/ a certain place. when he said, Here,
Sir Joseph Hooker" What Mr.. Darwin
said-I give you the idea and not the very
/ words-was this: II do not know whether
| | ought to have devoted my whole life
/ to these drudgeries in natural history ana
/ the other sciences or not, for while may
| have gained in one way / have lost IN
another Once l had a fine perception
| and appreciation of high literature put IN
the reason" said Mr.. Twiteheil' ne was
reading your books"
Mr.. BirrelI has touched nghtly-very
| lightly, but in not an uncomplimentary
wagon my position in this world as a
moralist. / am glad 10 have that recog-
milton, too, because l have suffered since
I have been in this town, in the f1rst
place, right away, when L came mere,
| from a uewSman going around with a
great red, highly displayed placard In the
place of an apron. He was selling news
papers, and there were two sentences on
| that placard which would have been all
right If they had been punctuated; but
| they ran those two sentences togetf er
| without a comma or anything, and that
| would naturally create a wrong impress
sion, because it said Mark Twain ar
| rives Ascot Cup Stolen" No doubt many
| a nerson was misled by those sentences
/ Joined together in that unkind way 1
| have no doubt my character has stIf-
| fered from it. ] suppose / ought to de-
! fend my character. but how can defhnd
1T? / can say here and now-and any
! bodv can see by my face that l am SIN
| cere that / speak the truth-that have
| never seen that cup. I have not got the
| cup-I did not have chance to get II
have always had a good character In
4 that way. | have hardly ever stolen
had discretion enough to know about the
| value of ii first. l do not steal things
/ that are likely to get myself into Trouble.
| / do not think that any of us do that /
know we all take things-that is to be
| expeoted-but really i have never taken
anything, certainly in England, that
| amounts to any great thing. 1 do con-
! fess that when / was here seven years
ago I stole a hat, but that did not amount
= 10 anything. 1t was not good hat. ana
! was only a clergyman's hat, anyway.
was at a luncheon party, and Arehdeacon
| WHEREFORE was there also. J daresay
| he is archdeacon now-he was canon
then-and he was serving in Che West
minister battery. if that Is the proper
term-I do not know, as you mix military