davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1907-11-20

90 the house he was very much an
noyed 10 find everybody else in orli-
nary evening dress. Il will get rid Of
the sword at all events" he said TO
himself and slipped it behind the cush-
ions Of a sofa. After dinner Ampere
forgot himself. as usual. and became
lost In abstrise calculation. He took n
little piece OF chalk out OF his pocket
and began working out problems on
the black satin cover OF the mantel-
piece. He became so absorbed in what
lie WAS doing that all the guests left
without his noticing them. and when
he wrote down q. +. u. no one was
left in the room except Nine. Fon-
tancS. and she unfortunateiv sat fast
asleep on the sofa whore Ampere's
sword lay hidden.
Ampere went down upon his knees
and pulled gently at the sword. so "a
20 get il away without waking the
lady. He pulled and pulled. and pres
entity the sword came ,,ut-without the
scabbard. At this moment Nine. Fon-
tanes awoke and alarmed the house
with her screams OF terror at seeing n
man on his knees before her with 4
drawn swcrd in his hand.
But mathematical professors have
not the monopoly Of absentminded-
ness. Ia Fontaine, whose fables are
the delight OF adult Frenchmen and
their childrcn's earliest task. went "a
the court OF Louis WI. to present q
copy OF his fables 70 the king. And he
forgot the book Fortunately. the king
knew In Fontainc. his fables and his
foibles and gave him n thousand pis
/ toles (about $3.50. Unfortunately
though. In Fontaine left the money III
his hired carriage on his way back e
Paris.
But the prettieSt piece Of absent
mindedness of which have ever heard
was that OF Professor Pozzi. who ask
ed lady who was bewailing the fact
that she had no children whether sh,
/ thought the failing was hereditary
This IS even more amusing than The
/ delightful answer made 10y the engl
neer OF the Seine tunnel. NJ. Berlier. {,
n servant who told him when he went
70 call upon his lawyer that that gen
/ tleman had died that morning. oh
said NJ. Berlier. dear. dear. I'm 50 sor
/ ~. But tell him won't keep him
minute.'-St James Gazette.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1907-11-20
A Bio Boiled Dinner

Cooks in large hotels and boarding
houses may think they get up meals
on big scale. but when il comes TO
Wholesale cookery the little village Of
LiSs, on the London and Southwestern
railway. England, surpaSses them I'll.
vt barbecue held there some wears
ago an OK was boiled. not roasted.
whole, and this is how il was done
y large hole was dug in the ground
and lined with brick. Inside this Il
tank large enough to hold the OK Was
built The carcass was then loweged
into the tank, having first been placed
IN case formed by heavy croSSbars.
to which chains were attached. Pal
leys from 4 ScaffOiding above were
used 70 raise and lower the OK. Many
veSetab leS, such as carrots. onions. cab
bageS and potatoes, were boiled with
the meat The boiling required seven
hours.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1907-11-20
ABSENCE OF MIND.
A Funny Story About Ampere, the Fa-
NOUS Mathematician.

runny Story About Ampere, the Fa-
nous Mathematician.
You all know the old joke of the prcs.
fesSor who, pondering over the saying
that in railway accident absence OF
body was good deal better than ab-
sence OF mind. went TO the nearest
railway station and tried To take 4
ticket "for the nearest railway acci.
Gent so as So have the matter proved
10 his own satisfaction. You doubt.
less know the story. too. of the pro-
lessor OF mathematics whose new par
Tor maid told him when he rang at his
own door that Professor Jones was
out I'll call again. I'll call again" he
said and went away.
But these are stories merely. Here.
however, are some incidents from real
IRE; Ampere was remarkably absent
minded. Hundreds OF stories OF his
observation-disclosures are told. but quite
the funniest is that of his dinner at the
mousse OF NJ. Fontanes, the grand mas
ter or the University of Paris. For n
Joke somebody had told Ampere that
ne must so to the dinner In his aca-
demician's uniform OF green and gold
and girt with his sword whan. ha..-~.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1907-11-20

Why They 90 Net Loot the Food
Ba<aars OF the Town.

oa<asro or the Town.
Bagdad Is alive with more or less
hungry dogs How Is II that such
packs OF furics do not loot the bazaars
OF the town? The explanation Is as
simple as II Is interesting. The Bag
dad shop fronts are absolutely open.
The goat and mutton carcasscs are
hrag where every dog that runs can
reach them. But time out OF mind
me first glance OF a dogs eye toward
forbidden dainties has been visited
with the swift descent on him OF
cudgel or ~ Ratchet.
On one OF series OF marches paral-
lei with the Euphrates I Glanced to
meet desert horde whose greyhounds
are In high rcpute. Ruying n brace
Of saplings. took them on with me.
lodging them I'm the tent and doing
everything that was possible TO make
them feel at home.
Surprising TO relate. they obstipately
refused both food and water. The re-
mains of venison pasty seemed at
once to attract and repel them. A pan
Of water appealed to them even moro
strongly. but they would not 60 up
to It.
After time a Persian muleteer ex
planned the mystery in n twinklInp
No sooner did he upset the water and
toss the viands on the ground before
there than TIE silky cared ones ran in
Ike Trojans and made up in q few
moments for days fasting.
Accustomed TO lap from the river.
from frrigational channels and from,
sheets OF surface water and reared
among people who do not use tables.
they had been taught by many a buffet
TO keep their noses out OF cooking pots
m-d vessels or every description.
In Bagiad man AMI beast alike drink
Of the geest river. which also forms
the artcriai common sewer OF the city.
the place whore clothes ere washed
and the "StyGian wave" into which IS
dragged every beast or burden when
II is not left 70 lie where sc has fallen.
Tho muddy bottom. with the water
ever receGing. the exposed surfaces
thick with impurities and the tropical
sun sucking up all the infections"
must be a regular hotbed of miasma
and pestilence.
And yet. mlrabile dictu. Bagdad is
not, rs eastern cities go. unhealthy.
But let the reader imagine TO himself
what the Bagilad OF the foregoing
slight description would be like with
out the dogs that scavenge it. Refuse
animal and vegetable matter is largely
disposed OF by the dogs, In situ.-Nine-
teenth Century.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1907-11-20
kne~ His Habits.

The following anecdote is given by
an Indian officer as illustrative OF the
manners and customs OF the willy
Pathan: y certain general and his
staR, while vending their way through
one or the narrOwest valleys OF Tirah.
were annoyed by the attentions of n
solitary marksman, who from time to
time sent n bullet unpleasantly close.
At last the general turned 10 his order
ly-a Pathan sowar-and told him to
dismount, take his carbine and try and
stalk the mountaineer The sowar
started of. and presently there was a
crack and a gray bearded old Afridi
tumbled headlOng down the mountain
side The sowar rejoined and fell into
his place
well dOne," said the general. But
how on earth did you manage it so
easily2"
ooh" replied the sowar, Il knew his
habits. He was my father"-London
Truth
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1907-11-20
EARN
FOR SALE

A EARN. consisting of 665
~ acres. lying on the Blue
= Ridge Mountain. i miles
from the Government Weather
Bureau 800 acres OF this land is
cleared and good smooth farming
land. Would make fne fruit
farm. The remainder is 10 oak.
poplar. chestnut. pine and locust
timber. There IS an excellcut stand
for a store, aud a business man
could clear SIS per month on the
strre alone. A good GriSt Mill is
located on the farm. The proposed
Trolley Line from Winchester to
Washington will cross the farm.
An abundance of good Building
Stone upon the farm. and limestone
for lining purposes within : mile.
THIS property will be sold at an
extremely low price.
Fer further particulars,
address,
Mn. Care OF COURIER.
Berryville. Va.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1907-11-20
Not Quite Clear.

y we'll known clergyman Of Boston
was once talking to some friends wiki
reference 70 the deSirability Of chron
illogical Conference In ideas in the form
OF written statements. when he OBJ
served that there are times when this
method becomes a trihe too Sugses-
tive.
For instance" said the speaker Il
once heard Il minister in New Uamp-
shire make his usual sunday morning
announcements as follows.
The funeral Of the late and much
lamented sexton takes place ON We'd
nesday afternoon nj 3 o'clock
Thanksgiving services Will be held
in this chapel on Thursday morning at
II O'clock. "-IippincOtt'S
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1907-11-20
THEODORE HOOK.
Stories of the Greatest Practical Joker
Of His Day

STORIES or the Greatest Practical Joker
of His Day.
OF the list Of geniuses the name of
Theodore Hook is near the top. At
sixteen he was making a big income .
and enjoying great popularity His .
name was hlazoned in the papers rs n .
prodigy. his portraits were in the shop
windows. and he had free admission TO
all theatcrs and other places of amuse- +
ment- For years he was a social and
literary lion. His last words were:
1T is only TO the grave that must be
carried. If my poor children were
safe l would not care. I am suffering
under a constant depression Of spirits
which no one who sees me in society
dreams Of
Hooks practical jokes were the talk
Of the day. His intimates egged him
on continually. and there vas nothing
he would stop at one day they point.
ed out TO him as an appropriate speci.
men for his museum 4 Cilded eagle OF
enormous dimensions which had inst
been erected over n grOcer's shop.
few weeks afterward while entertain.
ing his cOterie Mt dinner at one OF the
old taverns he ordered the game" 10
be served. To the establishment of the
guests the waiter entered the room
staggering under the burden Of n dish
OF unusual size On uncoverinC It
there was produced the Identical eagle
which Hook rs 4 practical Joke had
contrived 10 carry Off. Merely for this
sort OF fun Hook used 70 pull or
knockers and bell handles. carry away
/ tradesmen's signs. overturn the boxes
| OF sleeping janitors and do other devil
/ ment until he had roomful OF house
| hold attachments and street orna-
\ ments.
One night Hook was passing 4 great
house where there was 4 reception Of
the SWEETEST OF the swells. Dinner had
Just been announced. he said u the
friend accompanying him. John. I'm
/ going in here Il spend the evening. Call
for me 1T II O'Clock" The friend was
Mortified Said he in protest. You do
not know these grand people. and YOU
arc not an invited guest" That's all
right Call for me ut IL" Knocking
at the door. he gave his hat confident
" 70 the lackey and was ushered I'D
stairs. Entering the drawing room. he
affected ut first 70 have discovered his
mistake and poured such sallies Of wit
that the host and hostess actually
pressed him 10 stay for dinner.
vt II O'Clock. when his friend called.
not knowing whether lie would ind
Hook at the reception or in the lock
up. be was more than aStounded on
entering the drawing room TO see IIool,
seated at the piano delivering some OK
tempore poetry to bevy Of the fair
est women in the gathering. Percelv.
ing the entrance OF this friend the
practical joker who had not hitherto
divulged his name arose and said:
II m very much pleased with your fare
Your cellars as good as YOUR cook.
Ny friends Mr.. Terry the PLAYER.
And I'm Mr. Theodore Hook
The king, being present and full OF
enjoyment, took great fancy 10 Hoob
and Immediately appointed him treas
urer 70 the island Of the Mauritiu.
with salary Of $4,000 a year.-Nev
York Press.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1907-11-20

ers and horses head. He has lost his
reward. They rode up 10 the gates
and demanded admission. The massive
door behind was raised. and they pass
ell through But as the fourth rider
was about to follow Il fell down again
with heavy thud. decapitating the
horse and leaving its trunk and burden
outside the city. Conduct me 10 the
rabbi" said Godfrey OF Bouillon. II
must see him at once" Bat the rabbi
had long since left Germany.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1907-11-20

An freshman who wasn't much of 4
hunter went out to hunt one day. and
the first thing he saw to shoot at was
4 bluejay sitting Saucily on the top Of
a fence. He blazed away ut the bird
and then walked over 20 pick 80 up.
What he happened To find there was 4
dead frog. which he raised carefully ut
arms length. looking at it with puz-
lied air. Finally he remarked. We'll
begobs. but We was foine looking
burd befur OF blew Their filters of o
yerser'-Judge'S Library.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1907-11-20
r. H. PowKEs c. NJ. BEoU,
Powers q BrOun
P. II. PowKEs
Second Floor

Second Floor Postoficc BuIIJing)
Having formed partnership for
the purpose of doing a GENERAL
FIRE INSURANCE business, and
having secured a number of respon-
sible companies, we hereby solicit
your patronage and offer to insure
your property as reasonably as it
can be insured elsewhere.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1907-11-20

REV. EDw. Wall. Rector.
Divine Services and Sermon every Sunday at
II a. IN. and 2. ~.
sunday School. John b. Neil. Superinter-
deDt. d, 9aea a. III.
Bible Class, Monday, i p "a.
Ladies Aid Society. Mrs. J. N. q. Mcclure.
President Mrs. Ida Morgan. Secretary
and Treasurer; meets every two weeks
on Thursday. p, $3.50 2. m.
Woman's Auxiliary Missionary Soc,ety.
Ms. Edw. Wall, PRESIDENT Miss Anne
{. Moore. Treasurer Mr>. A, Cummn $.
secretary. Custodian 81 United Ofiering
Mrs. Lorenzo Lewis, meets first We'd
nt>cay IL each month
Kings Daughters. Mrs. Lorenzo Lewis. Prs
idcut; NrS Z. II. Powers. Vice President;
Miss Em.ly smith. Secretary; Mis- ).
Crown, Treasurer. meets every Two
weeks, on Thursday, AZ IL a. m.
Chapel Society Mrs. L. p. Page, Treasurer
meets on call when necessary.
SroNEwALL CHATTER. DAUGHrERs OF rHH
CoNFEpERACY.
President Mrs Ann Broun. Vice President
Miss Laura w. Gold. Treasurer, Mrs.
George y Harjo>ty Secretary. Miss
Lucy y. Gold Historian Miss Annie q.
Moore.
The following orders meet in Masonic
Hall, Berryvlie Va:
TREADWELL LODGE, 4. r. & \. NJ. No.
2l5, meets hrs, Thursday ON or before
fall moon. aud second Thursday there.
after nc $50 O'clock
SEMINOLE srRIBE, l. @. Il. NJ. No. 50,
meets every Tuesday night.
BATTLErOWN TENT, No. p. knights Of
the MacabecS, meets every Friday nigh
AZ o'clock.
THE MODERN WOODMEN meet first and
third Monday nights Of each month.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1907-11-20
Comfort.

Little Mary's mamma gave Uncle
Ben, the coachman. directions to
drown lot OF kittens. but not TO let
Mary know OF II. She heard OF the
order In some way and said 10 Ben.
with tears in her eyes; Uncle Ben,
please warm the water. 1t will be
more comfortable."-St Louis Rspub-
,ic
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1907-11-20
Ridiculous.

Among the Quakers." said Miss
Wise. II believe the men wear their
hats in church"
How ridiculousw exclaimed Miss
Gldday "As If any one could possibly
be interested in mems hatsr'-Phla-
delphia Press.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1907-11-20

REV. JULIAN bEoAuays, Pastor.
Preaching every sunday 81 lie. NJ. and ;
3. IN.
Prayer Meeting every Wednesday at ?. III
Sunday Schoo, every Sunday At $50 a. n.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1907-11-20
His Se,,eue

Snoggs My daughter is going to
marry young ScroggS. Bogss- Why.
Thought yon hated him. SnoggS-I do
This is scheme OF mine To- have my
wife become his her-in-law.--Cleye-
land Leader.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1907-11-20
The Sun at (jae Cent
Is rnE CHEAPEST llIen-,lAss PArrr
IN Tus yNIIxp SrArE..

iliE SUNS special correspondeuss through
out the United states, We'll rs in Eurcne.
China, south Africa, Che Philippines. Porto
Ncn, Cuba, ana m every other part Of the
world, MAKE U the greatest new sIaper that
can be printCd.
Its Washington and New York bureaus
are among the bcSs in the United States, and
give THE SUN's readers the earliest iuforuln-
ton upon all important events in th- leeis-
!auve and financial centerS OF the country.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1907-11-20

Hear one side and you will be in the
dark. Hear both sides and all WI he
clear. -Hallburton.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1907-11-20
NE woMAN,s rArER.

IHE SUN is the best type of "A newspaper
morally anG intellectually. In addition I,
the news ofrhe Cay, il publishes the best
features th&t Can lie ircscHted,sslyh IS hioi
articles ana miscellaneous writings from mer
and women OF note ami prominence. Ii :.
an CaUCatOr of the highest character, con
stanuy stimulating to noble ideals in indi
NicUal AND national lic.
InE sUN IS published on Sunday. as we
rs every ether day 81 thc week.
Ey mali fnE HAlLl SiN. g. - year. inclua
ins InE SCNnAS SVN, "a. mE SUNu,N ~;
alone, 81 year.
Address
4. 5. ABELL COMPANY,
Publishes arc Piolri,to,s,
BAUM ere No
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1907-11-20

". =. BRADFORD
Treasurer OF Clarke County. Berrvville Y.
". II. CATER.
Deputy Treasurer % Clarke County. Berry.
vile. Va.
9. G. Massey.
superintendent of Public Schools. White.
Post Va
g. r. =. HARRIS.
County surveyor BowIcs. va.
". ". SuA1Lwoop.
she'll Of Clarke County. Berryville. Va
JEssEs NJ. Lrrrox.
deputy Sheriff and Jailcr OF Clarke County
Berryville. va.
+. r. SuENK.
Deputy Sheriff OF Clarke County. White
Post Va
Hon. -. II. JONES.
Mayor Of Berryyille. Va.
Dr.. GEORGE y HARpEsrY.
Recorder
Z. II. Powers.
Treasurer Of Eerryville
GEORGE G.. RIcAMoRE.
Chief Of Police
r. HANp ERB
Superintendent % Water Company.
t'NNor -OUNCIL.
II. ". Bascf Narf mol.
John Il. ShackleigiG. Wa-j No. >.
W +. Lewis. Ward No..
c. VI. Broun. Ward NOD
BERRYVILLE FIRE COMPANY.
joan II. EndCrs. Captain.
FMS; Lieutenant, L. Y Stole
S,Sc'uu Lieutenant. Jas. Il. Dakenlan.
miro Lieutenant. John H. Shack leford
S-c-, tary. tLas W Marks
Treasurer. =. T. Eau-bfnau IL
surgeon Dr. 4. L. Osborne.
chaplain, 4. J.. Jackson.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1907-11-20
METHODIST EPISCOPAL CHURCH,
SOUTH

ME- HODISr EPISCOPAL CHURCIt
SOUTH.
HEv. =. HAUEy SMITH. Pastor.
rree'AinI' SUNDAY at II a. M. and : p. m.
Epwor;h League meets Sunday at :. Pm.
Sunday school, sunday. s.S5a.p,
PRAYER Meeting, Wednesday. =. m.
Nomaus Foreign Missionary Society n,,.,.
%" The trS; Friday IN every month a,
2. N.
Ladies Aid Society meets on the ~, E-;.,.,.
IN every month AT = p. IA.
Inc Little Lights Missionary Society
meets the first Sunday in every NOR. (
A. ?. m.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1907-11-20

1t is kingly act to help the fallen
Ovid.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1907-11-20

Woman : Christian Temperance Union
meets every thi-d Tuesday in every
month az 8 p. m.
The Mothers Meeting Ia connection wiki
tAe W. G.. /. L. meets on the first Tues
day ID every month az $50 p. m.
The Loyal Temperance Legion meets everv
wednesday q, 4 %. n.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1907-11-20
TmE l.ARNfER,s pArI,R.

iHE suns market reports AMI commercial
columns are complete and reliable, and put
the farmer, the merchant and the broker IN
touch with the markets of Baltimore Nor
folk, Charleston, New York. Chicago Phila-
delphia and all other important points in
the I nited states ana other countries. All
ot which lhe reader refs for ono cont
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-02
HE'S so VERY PARTICULAR.
Senator Fitzpatrick Not Satisfied With
Any Candidate for Governor.

Senator w. S. Fitzpatrick of Chautau-
qua county, one of the political leaders
of the machine faction of the Repub-
Iican party, isn't satisfied with any of
the present candidates for governor,
and is in Topeka, presumably to help
find the right man for the place.
I'VE want a man. said the senator.
who knows where he stands, and isn't
Hopping around in his opinions"
THAT means you don't want Horna-
day" was remarked. stc
'sHornaday don't know where he Is
at" replied Senator Fitzpatrick.
What about Fitzgerald?'' was asked.
''I firmly believe" said the Chautau-
qua senator earnestly, that Mr.. Fitz-
gerald is one of the best lieutenant gov
errors we ever had, and ought to be
retained in that position for another
term
seWho are you for for governor was
asked.
Il don't know" replied Mr.. F'itzpat-
rick.
Are you going to buy a newspaper
my position on that is replied Mr..
FITZPATRICK, that we should not pass
the primary election law which will
make it necessary for a man to own a
newspaper in order to stay in politics.
am opposed to bringing about such a
condition of AFFAIRS.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-02
GETTING READY
Feeding Ahead of Hot Weather.

mot quite so much meat in spring
time: use the cereals, as they heat the
blood less" Seasonable advice from
an old practitioner.
If one uses some care as to FOOD,
the hot weather will be passed as
comfortably as any season. In fact,
a person possessed of a perfectly bal
anced set of nerves can be happy and
comfortable under most any condi-
tions.
The truest food for building up the
nervous system to a perfect condition
is Grape Nuts. The makers are skill
ed in their art, and knowing that ma
tr1re fills the brain and nerve centers
with a soft gray matter which is used
up more or less each day and must be
replaced Cor nervous prostratfon sets
in), and also knowing that this gray
matter Is made by the combination of
aIbumen and phosphate of potash.
they select the parts of the field grains
that contain the needed materials.
manufacture them into a delicious
food, ready cooked, predigested, and
of a fascinating favour.
The use of Grape-Nuts quickly
proves that it really does rebuild and
strengthen the nervous system in a
mots certain manner. Sold by all
first class grocers and in daily use in
hundreds of thousands of the best
families all over the world. There's
a Reason Read, THE Road to Well
ville," in pkgs.