davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29

A Denver woman went to a swell
dinner the other day. says the Post
OF that city. She was seated on the
right Of the hostess. There were
eight people at the table. Before her
she found long array of knives, forks
and spoons, and, being possibly a little
unsophisticated. she began to work
over the problem of using the right
ones for the right courses.
Being next to the hostess. she knew
she would have to begin eating each
course first. However. when the din.
ner began she stopped worrying and
used whatever knife, fork or spoon
she thought should be used. She was
delighted to find that everybody else
at the table did exactly as she did
When IL was all over she learned
from four or five women present that
they didn't know what TO eat with.
either, and that they had simply fol.
lowed her lead.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29
THIRST WAS FIRST THOUGHT.
Familiar Sound Cause Of Young Mans
Bad Break.

John c. Risley Of Detroit. at the
New York convention OF the rnterna.
tional Society OF Hotel and Restaurant
Employees convention notable for
its condemnation OF the tipping system
said to a reporter:
The public thinks that we walters
get rich on our tips. The public is
very ignorant in this matter. When
think Of its dense ignorance I am
reminded Of a political meeting at
tended last April. There was a chap
at this meeting who knew nothing OF
parliamentary procedure. and. besides
that. he was half full Well. in the
course OF the meeting there was a lot
OF excitement and shouting. Il grew
worse and worse. The chairman. In
the end. had 10 hammer on the table
and yell:
Order' Orderi'
Beer foy me- said the ignorant
young man"
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29
METHOD IN HIS SOLITUDE.
Deep Interest in PIsymste's
Health Explained.

This story Is well IN keeping with
the spirit OF the age. says the New
York Tribune A Bronx man tells II
about his little boy The neighbours
young hopeful was very III. and Willie
and the other youngsters in the block
had been asked not to make any noise
in the streets. The neighbor's bell
rang one day and she opened II 20 find
Willie standing bashfully on her front
steps
How is he to-day?' he inquired IN
q shy whisper
He's better. thank You. dear. and
what a thoughtful child you are to
come and ask"
Willie stood a moment on one foot
and then burst forth again. I'm orful
sorry Jimmy's sick
The mother was profoundly touched.
She could find no further words TO
say. but simply kissed him. Made still
bolder by the caress. Willie began to
back down the steps. repeating az In
tervals his sorrow for his playmate's
illness. At the bottom step he halted
and looked up. "If Jimmy should die"
he asked. kin | have his drum"
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29
BAD DREAM
Frequently Due to Coffee Drinking.

One OF the common symptoms Of
coffee poisoning is the bad dreams that
spoil what should be restful sleep. A
man who found the reason says:
Formerly was slave to coffee.
was like a morphine fiend. could not
sleep at night, would roll and toss in
my bed and when | did get to sleep
was disturbed by dreams and hobgob-
Inns. would wake up with headaches
and feel bad all day. so nervous
could not attend to business. My writ
ing looked like bird tracks, had sour
belchings from the stomach, indiges-
ton, heartburn and palpitation of the
heart. constipation. irregularity of the
kidneys. etc.
Indeed. began to feel had all the
troubles that human flesh could suffer.
but when friend advised me to leave
on coffee | felt as IL he had insuIted
me. | could not bear the idea, it had
such hold on me and l refused to
believe it the cause.
But it turned out that no advice was
ever given at a more needed time for
finally consented to try Postum and
with the going Of coffee and the COM
ing OF Postum all my troubles have
gone and health has returned. | eat
and sleep well now. nerves steadied
down and l write a fair hand (as you
can see), can attend to business again
and rejoice that | am free from the
monster coffee"
Ten days trial of Postum in place of
coffee will bring sound. restful, re-
freshing sleep. There's a Reason"
Read The Road to Wellville. in pkgs.
Some physicians call it "A little health
classic"
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29
aAPs FOR GREAT MEN.
Achievements Frequently eeIittIed BY
Their Contemporaries.

Learned men do not always appre-
ciate the achievements OF their fei.
lows. II is related that a friend
brought Millions Paradise Lost" to
Mackenzie. the great Scotch mathe.
maticisn. who remarked, when he had
finished It:
ITS vera pretty: but. mon. what
does it prove?"
An anecdote Of Dean auckland H.
Illustrates the antipathy felt so years
or more ago by the old classical schol-
ars at oxford to the new scientific
learning. They described II as mis-
chievous and absurd" When Buck
land went to Rome for a long vacation
one year an elder don - said to have
exclaimed; Well. auckland has
gone to Italy. Thank heaven. we
shall hear no more OF this silly
geology"
James Russell Lowell. while minis
ter at the Court OF ST. James. re-
marked one day TO a friend. a prom
inent British statesman. that he was
going to Enfield In search Of the
grave OF Charles Lamb. That re-
minds me OF the Judgment Of Lamb by
one Of his contemporaries. said the
statesman. Said he: Lamb Is a
Eighty writer OF silly papers. in
which there is no mention Of polit.
icsl questions Of the day"
Paganini. the great violinist. while
in England was referred TO by a great
iurist. writing to a friend. as "a poor
fiddler who had driven the town mad
with his squeaks and serapes.-
A good story Is told OF Henry Clay.
in the zenith OF his popularity and
fame. Meeting an old schoolmate at
a reception he expressed regret that
another friend. a mutual acquaintance.
whose career promised TO be brilliant,
had given up his life to the raising Of
pigs and making fortune. The
friend presently met the gentleman
referred to. who exclaimed. with a
shake OF the head:
Poor Harry Clay, He might have
made a good stock grower. and be
comfortable planter now IL he had not
wasted his time in politics
Even the father Of his country
did not escape detrsction. as we all
know. Tradition has it that old John
Adams once stood before a picture Of
Washington. at which he shook his
fist and exclaimed:
You old humbug, II you had not
kept your mouth closed you'd have
been found out"
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29
WHAT THE WOMEN WORE.


A gentleman recently returned from
that quiet little Maryland resort,
Ocean City. has tale to tell OF con-
ditions that are really sensational.
And the worst OF Il was that he did
not know they were sensational at all.
He was out calling the other evening.
and the conversation started with the
shirtwaist man. who. the returned
wanderer said. was to be found in
great Quantities at the summer resort.
Then he told about the habit every
body down there had contracted OF
going without hats. This is the way
he told II to an interested company:
You see everybody down there
going about Just the same. The men
never wear coats: they go about in
Just their shirts and trousers. and the
women are Just like them"
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29
PUT IT IN GOOD LIGHT.
One Comforting Thought In the Death
Of the Chickens.

A lady who had recently moved TO
the suburbs was very fond OF her first
brood OF chickens. Going out one az.
ternoon she left the household In
charge OF her eight-year-oid boy. Be
fore her return a thunderstorm came
up. The yoTngster forgot the chicks
during the storm. and was dismayed
after It passed to find that half OF
them had been drowned. Though
fearing the wrath to come. he thought
best to make a clean breast Of the
calamity. rather than leave II to be
discovered
Mamma" he said. contriteiy. when
his mother had returned. mamma. six
OF the chickens are dead"
Dead" cried his mother. six!
How did they die7'
The boy saw his chance.
Il think think they died happy
he said.-Harper's Weekly.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29
Patron Saint Of Lawyers.

This story is told at the expense Of
Francis II. T. Maxwell. a wellknown
lawyer. The members Of the Taunton,
Mass. Bar association thought they
ought to have a patron saint. but after
much wrangling they could not hit up
on any particular saint.
Finally committee. of which Mr..
Maxwell was member. was appoint
ed to make a selection They made
trip to New York. and there visited
a gallery where most of the saints were
carved in marble. 1t was decided to
leave the selection to Mr. Maxwell.
and after making the rounds he placed
his hand on one in a group of two.
This one will do" he said. He had
his hand on the devil. whom st. MI
chael was driving before him.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29
VERY BAD FORM OF ECZEMA.
suffered Three fears-Physieisns Did
No Good-PefeetIy Well After
Using Cutieura Remedies.

I take great pleasure in informing
you that was a sufferer Of eczema in
a very bad form for the past three
years. | consulted and treated with
a number Of physicians in Chicago. but
to no avail | commenced using the
Cuticura Remedies. consisting of Cuti-
cura Soap, Ointment and Pills. three
months ago. and to-day am perfectly
well. the disease having left me en-
urely. | cannot recommend the Cuti-
cura Remedies too highly to anyone
suffering with the disease that have
had. Mrs. Florence E. Atwood. IS
Criily Place. Chicago, III. October :.
1905. Witness: l.. S. Berger"
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29
FOR SELFISH ENDS.
The Efforts Being Made by the Aneri-
can Medical Association.

The Political activity OF the Ameri-
can Medical Association has become
so pronounced as TO cause comment
in political circles especially as the
the avowed purpose OF the Doctors OF
the Regular or Allopathic school. OF
which the Association is chiefly COM
posed. is TO secure the passage OF such
laws as will not only prevent the
sale Of so-called Patent" medicines.
but will restrict the practice OF medi-
cine and healing to the schools" now
recognized. This in many states would
prevent the growing practice Of Os-
teopathy. and in nearly every state
would prevent the healers OF the
Christian Science and mental science
belief from praeticing those sciences
in which the faith Of so many intelli-
gent people is so firmly rooted.
The American Medical Association
has a Committee on Legislation"
and the committee has correspond
ents in practically every township =
some 10000 correspondents in all.
This committee at the last session OF
the American Medical Association
held in June OF this rear expressed a
hope that a larger number OF physi-
clans than heretofore will offer them
selves as candidates for Congress at
the first opportunity. In its annual
report this Committee said. TO meet
the growing demands OF the move
ment. however. particularly II the
work OF active participation in State
legislation is undertaken. a larger
clerical force must be employed"
This is almost the first time in the
history OF the United States that any
organized class has frankly avOwed
the purpose of capturing legislatures
and dominating legislation in their
own selfish interests
The American Medical Association
has about $1,000 members OF whom
$1,000 are fully constituted mem
bers' and the rest are members be-
cause OF their afEliation with state or
local societies. The Association owns
real estate in Chicago valued at SILL
1871 and its total assets are $751;
$3.50. Its liabilities. at the time OF
the annual report which was made at
the June Meeting. amounted to only
s2i,9os. The excess of assets over
liabilities Is increasing at the rate OF
about 100000 year. and the purpose
OF the organization is To dominate
the field Of medicine. and by crushing
all competitions by securing the pas
sage of prohibitive legislation. compe4
all of the people of the United States
to pay a doctors fee every time the
most simple remedy is needed.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29
President castro,s coneei..

Many stories have been told OF
Cipriano Castro. president Of venezue-
la. and Of his monumental conceit.
During the Russo-Iapanese war the
fall OF Port Arthur was being ex-
planned to him
"Pshaw'" he exclaimed With 500
Venezuelans I could have taken it in
four days"
with a thousand. in one day. your
excellency." said the diplomatic rep
resentative of European power
Castro was so pleased at what was
intended to be sarcasm that. It is said,
the diplomat succeeded next day in Sc
curing satisfaction of a claim that his
government had been vainly pressing
for years.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29
Stopped Seeing Thinos."

Enthusiastic Nature Lover Ito Re
formed Trampl-Ah, my friend, how
well you must know the face of ma
ture, and know it in all its moods.
Have you ever seen the sun sinking
in such glare of glory that it swal-
lows up the whole horizon with its
passionate fire? Have you seen the
mist gliding like specter down the
shrinking hillside. or the pale moon
struggling to shake OF the grip of the
ragged storm cloud?
Reformed Tramp-No. sir; not
since / signed the pledge.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29

A lawyer in Johnstown. y. Y. while
defending little boy who had been
apprehended in the act OF making a
surreptitious entrance under the fair
grounds fence, drew for the jury a
most pathetic picture of the prisoners
poor old widowed mother with the
tears streaming down her face and
her gray head bowed in sorrow at the
thought Of her little boy being incar.
eerated." The youthful offender cut
In at this point with Please, sir. Mr..
Lawyer. my mother amt a widow"
shut up, darn you. said the lawyer.
I'm trying this case. not you."-Law
Notes.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29

The bard from the city had sold suf-
hcient verses to spend a week in a
rural boarding house. Waving of the
swarms OF June bugs and mosquitoes,
the bard sat penning his lines by the
yellow light Of kerosene lamp.
How | love this madrigal," he
mused TO himself.
The horny-handed farmer. who sat
greasing his boots. looked up in sur
prise.
Gracious" be drawled. Where Is
She"
WhoT asked the astonished bard.
Why. the gal yeou Just said yeou
loved"
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29
Natures Gift Wasted.

A Scotehman who recently took the
street car trip on the gorge route. the
New York side of Niagara river. was
much disguised with the hawkers OF
views and Teddy bears" who make
the afternoon hideous and do their
best to spoil natures grandeur. As
he alighted from the car he looked
angrily at the shooting vendors and
then at the Whirlpool rapids. What's
the use of having a big river like
that" he asked. eff you don't drown
those fellows in it?'
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29
Impudenee Of Hoi PoIIoi.

A noted English artist was standing
at the edge of the road. waiting for his
horse. and he was dressed in his
usual peculiar style-mustard-color
riding suit. vivid waistcoat and bright
red tie. \ man. who had evidently
been reveling. happened TO lurch
round the corner Of the street. He
stared at the famous artist for a min
ute in silence. then he touched his cap
and asked in a tone OF deep commiser-
alton. Beg pardon. guv'nor. was you
in mOurnin' for anybody"
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29

At the time Of the famous Eastman
trial in Cambridge. Mass, two Irish
men, standing on street corner. were
overheard discussing the trial. One OF
them was trying to enlighten the other
concerning a jury.
Bedad'' he explained. You're ar
risted- Thin II We gets tn shmartest
lawyer ye're innicint: but il tn other
man gets tn best lawyer. ye're guilty"
- lie
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29
Horrible Example.

My dear" said Mrs. Strongmind. II
want you to accompany me to the
town hall tomorrow evening"
What for?" queried the meek and
lowly other half of the combine.
Il am to lecture on the Dark Side
OF Married Life" explained Mrs. s.,
"and want you to sit on the plat
form and pose as one Of the illustra-
tons"
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29
The Motor Face.

A few days ago weIl-known per-
sonage was motoring in Derbyshire
when policeman stopped him, relates
the London Tattler.
You'll have to take of that mask"
said the officer. its frightening every
one who sees it."
But I'm not wearing one" ex-
planned the unfortunate offender.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29
Wanted New Ones.

A traveller putting up at a fifth-class
hotel. brought the Boots" up with
his angry storming.
Want your room changed. sir,
What's the matter, sir?"
The rooms all right" fumed the
guest. scorchingly. It's the fieas l
object to. that's ALL"
Mrs. Blobbs." bawled the Boots"
In an uninterested sort of voice. the
gent in No. s is satisfied with hi.
room; but he wants the feas
changed. ILLUSTRATED Bits.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29

Are you going to strike. MAJ
asked the little boy. as he tremblingly
sazed upon the uplifted shingle.
That's just what I'm going to do"
Cant We arbitrate. ma. before you
striker"
am Just going to arhitrate,' she
said. as the shingle descended and
raised a cloud OF dust from the seat
ct a pair Of pantaloons-'I am Just
going to arbitrate. my son. and this
shlngle is the board of arbitration"
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29
6ohhln Bows Manes

John p. Lennon. treasurer Of IN.
American Federation Of Labor. deliy-
cred recently an address on strikes.
Turning TO the amusing features of
the strike question, Mr. Lennon said:
remember a strike OF bobbin
boys. Just strike. and one that sue.
eeeded- These boys conducted their
night well. even brilliantly. Thus the
day they turned out they posted in
the spinning room Of their employers
mill a great placard inscribed with
the words:
The wages Of sin is death. but the
wages OF the bobbin boys is worse Z"
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29
Places Of Interest Neglected.

Two of the most attractive places
for instruction in New York city are
the Metropolitan Museum Of Art and
the American Museum Of Natural His
tory, yet there are thousands of resi-
dents of New York who have never
been in them. and more than half II
their daily visitors are strangers in
the CITY
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29

BY neglect; they get red and sore and YOU
let them go. Don't do it: Leonardo
Golden Eye Lotion cures soreness with
out pain in one day. Cools. heals and
strengthens. Insist on having "Leonar-
DIT makes strong eyes.
Guaranteed or money refunded Drug
gists sell it at . cts. or forwarded pre-
paid on receipt of price by $. b. Leonardo
/ Co., Tampa, Fla.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29
An Inherited Iendennx-

A Cleveland society woman gave a
party to nine friends of her young son.
aged six. To add to the pleasure of
the occasion she had the ices frozen
In the form Of hen and ten chickens.
Each child was allowed to select his
chicken as it was served. Finally she
came to the son of prominent poll
tician.
Which chicky will you have, Ber-
tie?" she asked.
If you please. Mrs. H., think I'll
take the mamma hen," was the polite
reply.-Lippincott's.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29
Sacred Deer Of Jsoan

Deer are relatively plenty in vari-
Gus parts of Japan. and in such show
places as Maru and Miyaiima are held
as sacred. becoming so tame as to eat
from the hands of visitors. They are
generally smaller in size than the
American deer.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29
OF the CABBAGE Patch.

Cigar Maker-Here's a new cigar
I've just been putting up and haven't
any name for 1t. Suppose you suggest
one.
Friend latter smoking itl-They're
naming a good many after characters
in Action now. Why don't you call
this Mrs. Wiggs?"
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29
Willing to BEAT IT,

And have you trader" asked the
lady at the back door.
"Yes'm." replied the seedy-Iookins
one; I'm a gold-beater. ma'am."
Il don't believe YOU"
We'll. let me get my hands on some
gold and you'u see me beat IT,
ma'am.-
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29

During a thunderstorm near Glas-
gov golf player named George Har.
RE was struck and killed by lightning.
which ripped of his clothing. includ-
inE his boots. and extracted all his
teeth. II made hole three feet deep
where he had been standing.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29

Self-forgetfulness in love for others
has foremost place in the ideal char
acter and represents the true end Of
humanity.-Peabody.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29
Very Appropriate.

Pullman Porter" commented the
stranger. That's queer name for
cigarettes Why do they bear that
name?"
Because they are silver.tipped.
sir" replied the tobacconist.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29
croup Of St. Mary. ch,-....

There are in London a round dozen
churches named after st. Mary. near
ly all Of them belonging to a single
group closely packed together, show
ing that they all came from the one
gresl parish of Aldermary.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29
Few Runaway. in New yo,k.

Although New York is 'hitchinx
postless" city there are fewer runa-
way horses in its streets than in the
average city Of ons-tenth Of its popu-
lation-
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29
Peculiar Medical Remedy

i was stated at an inquest on a
peasant in Servian village that the
man died from swallowing too many
bullets. which he was accustomed to
take. in common with all the peasants
In that district whenever he felt Ill.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29

II isn't because they are looking for
an excuse to applaud that the neigh
oors are induced to keep an eye on
you.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29

The worst disappointment that
comes to woman Is to have a man
Jail to disappoint her when she ex.
peeted him to.-Florida Times Union.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29
Millions Practice rhrift

Ten million people have opened &C
counts with the post ONCE saving
bank of England.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29

Builders in New York city invest
100000 each day in land and new
houses for apartment dwellers.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29

Exmins carefully every bottle Of CAsronIA.
safe anil sure remedy for infants and children,
and see that Il
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1907-08-29
Il Cures While You WAX.

Aliens Foot-Ease is a certain cure for
hot, sweating, calloas, and swollen, aching
feet. Sold by all Druggists. Price az. Don's
accept any substitute. Trial package FREE.
Address Allen S. Olmsted, LIE Roy, N. Y.