Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1907-05-10
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Simply a Transfer of Realty.

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Simply Transfer of Realty.
During the Lenten lecture on the
poor Jacob A. Riis, author of How
the Other Half Lives" said: "The
slums of New York, when l first
came to know them as police re-
porter, were disheartening indeed.
To clean them seemed as hopeless as
cleaning an Augean stable. 1t was
like the case of slum boy whom |
heard about the other..day. Jackie,
said this boys mother, your face is
fairly clean, but how did you get
such dirty hands?'
Washin' me face, said the boy" "
Try 1t On the Horse.
AS young couple were out riding
the other evening, the young man
ventured to ask for kiss. The lady
was much surprised-as all young
ladies affect to be when such q re-
quest is made-and asked him what
good it wouldn't do him. "Oh," re-
piled the young man, it would
make one feel so gay and lively. "
Well, Charley, if, as you say, a
kiss is apt to make one so gay and
lively, | think if we expect to get
home before morning, you had better
get out at once and kiss the old
horse"
Seeminf Natural Inquiry.
Just after King Edwards coro-
nation, when he underwent an Oper-
alton for appendicitis and was lying
cOnvalescent, he sent for his grand
children.
The little ones trooped into the
room, cautioned by their nurse that
they must keep very quiet, and stood
about their gtandfather's bed. He
talked with them for a few minutes,
and they replied in awed whispers.
Then, when the nurse told them they
must 60. Prince Eddie said:
But, grandpa, can't we see the
baby?"
With Apologies to Shakespeare.
T. A. DAILY, whose charming book
of verse, "Canzoni, has set him in
the front ranks of American poets
was congratulated on his book re.
markable success.
WE'LL" said Mr.. DAILY, smiling,
" / hope that this success won t make
me as conceited as most young poets
are. There is, for instance, a Young
poet at the Franklin inn, and the day
after I had visited the Franklin inn q
friend of this young mans said tc
me: L afraid you hurt Rimes' feel
ings last night, Tom
"' What did l say?' 1 asked.
80 You said there was only one
Shakespeare"
The Climax Of Well Doinf.
Little Jack Prindle was being
brought up very carefully and relig.
ious. One evening after tea in the
presence of company he said to his
mother, I've been a good boy to.
day, haven't l, mother?'
Yes, you have, Jack, dear?" his
mother answered.
Il didn't forget to take off my
rubbers, and 1 didn't forget to put
them away behind the door, did ~
" No, Jack DEAR"
And 1 haven't slammed any
doors all day long?"
No, my dear boy"
And l didn't forget to say grace
after dinner, and have been good
all day long. l haven't forgotten O
damn thing"
Mrs. Prindle burst into tears in
spite OF her guests.
A "corker."
Melton G. Weeks in the course o
an address in Denver on the new
pure drug law told drug story.
Dear knows" said Mr.. Weeks
=" we ought to give the people pure
drugs-we charge them enough fol
them. Sometimes 1 think we drug
dealers would get along better if WI
didn't show ourselves so greedy il
our charges. We are too much likt
q druggist used to know in SAINTS
Fe. A miner rode into Santa Fl
with dyspepsia one day, consulted {
doctor and took his prescription Il
my druggist friend to be made up.
Well, how much?" said the miner
when the prescription was finished.
Let's see, said the druggist
Its a dollar ten for the medicin,
and fifteen cents for the bottle. Tha
makes He hesitated, afraid HI
might have forgotten something, an(
the miner said impatiently: We'll
hurry up, boss. Put q price on th'
cork and let us know the worst. '"
A Success a. q Story Teller.
Millionaire w. E. Hughey, whos'
story of his encounter with "sever
men in an auto" in Golden Gate Parl
has won for him the admiration o
his friends, has met his match
Hughey was returning from th'
hotel grill for the first time since his
injury when he was approached by
member of an almost extinct class
in busy San Francisco of to-day
hobo-who began the usual story O
hard luck.
How many attacked your
queried Hughey, remembering hi.
own experience.
II donno, boss, but I had hare
luck. Went to take drink with
friend O. mine on the front and tosset
two bits on the bar like this. Lent
me a quarter, boss, an I'll show yer
Thanks. 1t rolled off the bar, see
Me friend ducked for it and me hea(
butted his. Mex thing 1 knew
was ON the water.
Eyes, sir, shanghaied. Wrecked
on a cannible islam and was cap
tured by cannibals. They brung mt
before the chief, who said somethin
like hash. Dat didn't SCUM goot
ter me. l broke away, rushed t.
the beach, grabbed an oar and fioatet
out to sea-"
How'd you get back here?" sym
pathetically inquired Hughey.
Il didn't get back" sighed th'
wanderer, as he slid into the night
with Hughey's coin, Il was lost a
sea-"