Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1907-04-18

Once in a while you see a girl who
doesn't care If people know how old she
Is. She Is usually 17-Somerville Jour-
nal.
Senator political job Is pretty
hard work, isn't it?" "Not very" re-
piled Senator Badger, "but getting 1T
Milwaukee Sentinel.
Chapleigh-I was all bwoke up ovah
girl once doncher know. Miss Knox
All, l see! And some Of the pieces
were lost-Chicago Daily News.
"How do you get those clinging
ways?" asked the country cousin.
Hanging from street-car straps" an
swered the city Washington Her
aid.
The Simple One-Going away for
your health! Why, that Is very sud-
den. Does your doctor recommend 1t?
The Wise One-No, my lawyer
Puck.
do you know that am soon to be
engaged to Mr.. Huber?" "Is that so?
Has he spoken to your mother.?" mo,
but my mother has spoken to him.
Meggendorfer Blaetter.
Passenger (about to leave the cars,
sees his heavy satchel fall from the
rack on a lady's head)-That's very
fortunate. l had just forgotten it was
there-Fliegende Blaetter.
Grayce-My dressmaker says ought
not to wear white with my skin. Mayme
Don't believe her, dear. White and
yellow make quite a pretty combina-
tion.-Baltimore American.
81 never was so happy before" said
the new benedict. Marriage has made
different man Of me-" Pm glad to
hear it," said his rival, "for your wife's
sake. e."-Philadelphla Press.
Patience-How do you know Peggy
| Is alone? Patrice-Because l hear her
singing. But that's no sign" "Yes, 1t
is. If there was any one with her
she'd be talking. g."-Yonkers Statesman.
Future Father-in-Law-I am sorry to
inform you that my daughter will not
receive her fortune until after my
death. Future Son-in-Law-Well. and
how old are you now?-Simplicissi-
mus,
If you have any room left In your
tool box, be sure and fill it with money.
You can, on an auto tour, get along
without anything but money. If there
is any doubt about this, throw the tools
away.-Life.
A young man went up for an exami-
nation and was "plucked." He sent the
following telegram to his anxious fam
lily: Examination splendid. Profess
sors enthusiastic. They demand an en-
core. I'll Rlso.
Thank heaven, the multiplication ta-
Bile doesn't change. 1t is the only
thing a mother knows that Is the same
as when she went to scool, and which
she can speak Of without being cor
rected.-Atchison Globe
Some men insist that woman has
no business brains but there is young
woman who conducts large business
and it calls for head work all the
time" "Who Is She" MY wife's mill
Press.
Deacon-By the way, that man
Brown you married a year ago, has he
paid you your fee yet? Clergyman
No; the last time l reminded him Of 1t
he said I'd be fortunate IL he didn't sue
me for damages.-Bo Transcript.
Mr.. Seesig-Yes, it was my first
ocean trip. Miss Romanz-Ah! When
you realized that you were on the great
bosom Of old ocean did you not feel
like shouting in your exhilaration-
Mr.. Seesig-Well, I don't know about
the exhiaration, but I-er-could
scarcely contain myself-Philadelphi
Ledger.
The modern wife Is beginning to as
tonish the modern husband. A man
came home at 8 a. m. He took off his
shoes on the front doorstep. Then he
unlocked the door and went cautiously
upstairs on tiptie, holding his breath.
But light was streaming through the
keyhole Of the bedroom door. With a
sigh he paused. Then he opened the
door and entered. His wife stood by
the bureau, fully dressed 81 didn't
expect you'd be sitting up for me- my
dear" he said. 81 haven't been," she
said. "I Just came in myself.
New Voice.