davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-07-18
The Sunday School Picnic.
Copyright: 1907. by Byron Williams.

Stubbie and Fatty and Billy and ME
Went thee Sunday slSool pi;nic. by geei
down by thee bridge where thee swift
Waters run.
we Ketched lot of them Krabs. gist
for fun!
Gee did yew ever try ketching Krab7
lift up stoan and then maik a quick
grab,
sumtimes yew git EN- and haf Bware--
next thing yew no they viii Pinch yew-
Take kare.
funny how fast they kin skoOt when they
sale
opposite weigh from their eyes to their
tale.
Ketchad apiece with gist onul big
klaws.
Civ sum Chunk aud a pair Bill Raws.
then when thee Gurs wuz a playing "a
gain,
we Hid them awl fore thee minister
put them in tablecioths, Baskets and
SaNs-
mi, but such Grub, They wuz gist stacks
and stacks.
Stub threw thee biggest Krab intew HER
Gracious never herd skreeming like
that,
then Stub and purity neer had Whirl-
he is a Citing fresh with my Curl!
Next we went wading and Fatty fell in;
got gist as wet frum his toes His chin.
SHE got "A bludsucker fast > her toe
mi, how she YIELD, but reslIued her tho'l
Kracky. they picked out teribul phase
pilknicing there by thee end of thee Rase
teecher she set in big Chiggers nest
mi how she Spueeled, gist u scratching
her Best,
got a Woodticker fast mi leg
showed IL HER-then 1 hit him Peg
next thing IT Rained-gist cunning
strata down
got ofri vet scooting back thee town
Stub tried walk by mi Curl on thes
way
drst thing HE knows 1 will lick him sun
day!
''plese stand aside" sed i. deep in m
throte,
'i wish to kuver Lucille with mi cote"
thank yew," sed she smiling up offu
swete-
mayB yew think that mi Hart didn'
beet,
sum day that Curl will gst walk by m
side
up threw the isle of thee Church as IN
Bride
then we will Travle DER Land and o'e
see,
loving eech other as True as kin bea!
what makes a feller feel gist like the
Doves.
| when he walks Hoam with the Curl tina
lie loves?
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-07-18
NERVOUS COLLAPSE
IS OFTEN PREVENTED BY DR..
WILLIAMS PINK PILLS.
Taken When the First Warning Symp-
toms Are Noticed Much Needless
Suffering May 6e Saved.

Are You troubled with pallor, loss of
spirits, waves of heat passing over the
body, shortness of breath after slight
exertion, peculiar skipping of the
heart beat, poor digestion, cold extremi-
ties or feeling of weight and fullness?
Do not make the mistake of thinking
that these are diseases in themselves
and be satisfied with temporary relief.
This is the way the nerves give warn
ing that they are breaking down. 1t
simply means that the blood has become
impure and cannot carry enough nourish-
ment TO the nerves to keep them healthy
and able to do their work.
Rest, alone, will sometimes give the
needed relief. The tonic treatment by
DIR. Williams Pink Pills, however, pre-
vents the final breakdown of the nerves
and the more serious diseases which
follow, because the pills act directly
upon the impure blood, making it rich,
red and pure.
Mrs. i. O. Bradley, of 1O3 Parsells
avenue, Rochester, n. Y, says:
:" l was never very healthy and some
years ago, when in a rundown condi-
tion, suffered a nervous shock, caused
ty misfortune tosa friend. 1t was so
great that was untitled for work.
"I was just weak, low-spirited and
nervous. could hardly walk and could
not bear the least noise. My appetite
was poor aud did not care for food.
couldn't sleep well and once for two
weeks got scarcely an hours sleep.
had severe headaches most of the time
and pains in the back aud spine.
{" / was treated by two doctors, being
under the care of one of them for six
months. l got no relief and then de.
cided 10 try DIR. Williams Pink Pills
soon began TO feel better and the i'm
proyement was general. My appetite
became hearty and my sleep better.
Tie headaches all left and also the pains
in my back. A few more boxes entirely
cared me and 1 was able to go back tc
work. l felt splendid and as though
had never been sick"
DR.. Williams Pink Pills are invaluable
in such diseases as rheumatism, after.
effects of the grip and fevers, neuralgia
st. Vitus' dance and even partial
PARALYSIS and locomotor ataxia.
DR.. Williams Pink Pills are sold by
al druggists. or will be sent. postpaid
OF receipt Of price. 30 cents per box. SIX
boxes for e.. so. by the DIR. Williams
Medicine Company, schenectady. n. Z,
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-07-18
lust the Size.

II understand dat dere will be sew
eral bogus animals on de stage" said
the long and lanky tramp as he read
the sign "Supes Wanted"
Yes" replied the short and stout
wayfarer, II am going to play de head
of de elephant and me fat pardner is
going to play de hind legs
Him, Then ! suppose dere is no
chance for a tall, thin supe like me?'
"Oh, yes, pard, you could play de
neck of de giraffe"
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-07-18
EXAMPLE OF TRUE cHlvALRv.
Modern Lover Proves Himself Equal
TO Heroes Of the Past.

There was a moment of profound
silence. He was the first 10 speak.
You are richer than | am" he fall
tered. with emotion.
She bowed her head, replying moth
Ing. But now the true nobility Of his
character manifested Itself.
yet for all that ! am no better
than you are," he cried. and folded
her TO his breast.
And when. her conscience accusing
her. she tried TO tell him that not
only her father but four of her uncles
were Pittsburg millionaires. he sealed
her lips with kisses, and would hear
nothing g-Puck.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-07-18
AmhiQuous.

At the death of much-loved pas
tor some years ago the vestry of a
prominent New York church resolved
to place a tablet to his memory in
the yesiihule of the church, tells
Harpers' Weekly. In due time the
tablet appeared in its place, where 1t
still remains. 1t has caused not
few smiles; for, after reciting a list
OF the former pastors virtues and Ia
bors. il closes with the quotation:
Now the people of God have rest.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-07-18
Rations for troops In Alaska.

On the recommendation OF the com
missary general of the army, the field
rations of the troops serving in Alaska
will be 16 ounces of bacon, or, when
desired. l6 ounces of salt pork or %
ounces of salt beef; "a ounces of
fresh vegetables, instead of l6 ounces; F;
three and two-fifths ounces of des-
sicated vegetables. instead of two and
two-fifths ounces, and S-25 ounce Of
candles, instead of 6-25 ounce
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-07-18

Sheer white goods, in fact, any mo
wash goods when new, owe much OF
their attractiveness to the way they
are laundered, this being done in a
manner to enhance their textile beau
ty. Home laundering would be equal
ly satisfactory if proper attention was
given to starching, the first essential
being good Starch, which has sufficient
strength to stiffen, without thickening
the goods. Try Defiance Starch and
you will be pleasantly surprised at the
improved appearance of your work.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-07-18
Twenty.one Yards of SAUSAGE.

In the rivalry to make the biggest
sausage some wonderful specimens
are being produced by Germans in
Pennsylvania The latest record
breaker is the work of Jacob Acker-
man, of Limeport. 1t is "a feet eight
inches long.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-07-18
MIN a smooth iron and Defiance

With a smooth iron and Defiance
Starch, you can launder your shirt
waist Just as we'll at home as the
steam laundry can; it will have the
proper stiffness and finish, there will
be less wear and tear of the goods,
and it will be a positive pleasure TO
use a Starch that does not stick to the
iron
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-07-18
Pipes.

Some friends are like pins-they
have their good points but they will
stick you If they get a chance.
1t is better to be prodigal son than
a fatted calf.
A friend of mine has wife so artis-
tic that she will not put porous plas-
ter on his back without painting a1lit-
tie border of daisies all around the
edge.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-07-18
Home Sweet Home.

The wife of a naval officer attached
to the academy at Annapolis has IN
her employ an Irish servant, who re-
Gently gave evidence Of nostalgia.
You ought to be contented and
not pine for your old home. Bridget
said the lady of the house. You are
earning good wages, your work is
light, everyone is kind to you, and
YOU have lots OF friends here"
"Yis, num- sadly replied Bridget;
but it's not the place where | be that
makes me so homesick; it is the
place where | don't be-"
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-07-18

BY following the directions. which
are plainly printe1 on each package Of
Defiance Starch. Mems Collars and
Cuffs can be made Just as s,iff as de-
sired. with either gloss or domestic
finish. Try it, 16 OF. for 1oe, sold by
all good grocers.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-07-18
Has forgotten Her EnaIlsh.

Nine. Modjeska for 25 years was a
household name among theatergoers,
yet now that she is writing her
memoirs she says she finds it neces-
sary to go back to her native Polish
and rely upon the services of a trans
lator TO remake her book into Eng
lish.-Chicago Evening po5t
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-07-18
1empera,ure and Water.

At sea level water boils at 212 de
grees, F.; at height of 10000 feet al
1873 degrees. r When Darwin crossed
the Andes in 1896 be boiled potatoef
for three hours without making them
soft.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-07-18

That an article may be good as wei.
as cheap, and give entire satisfaction,
Defiance Starch, each package con-
tanning one-third more Starch than
can be had OF any other brand for the
same money.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-07-18

Sometimes a woman marries man
Just because her folks are sick OF
having him hang around the house.
Many horny-handed farmer makes
more out of his sheep than his son
does out of his sheepskin.
When a man has had both legs
pulled he doesn't limp, anyhow.
The God Bless our Home" motto
has no place in a city fiat
The old bachelor who dyes his hair
Just at the beginning of leap year evi-
IDENTITY means business.
When young woman refuses a
Young mans invitation to go TO the
theater. she does it usually for one OF
two reasons-because she doesn't like
him or because she likes him so well
that she wants him to save his money
and get down to business.
The curio habit is almost as bad as
poker playing.
A friend of mine who went out tc
California, writes me on stationery
which says his office hours are from
2 until 4. 1t seems that the carkine
cares of the daily grind ought not te
cark hard enough to overwork him
anyhow.
The hackneyed term, "the weather
beaten farmer" seems quite appropri
ate this springless spring.
Let me change the ten-dollar bills
and the leopard can change his spots
TO suit himself.
Worry kills more people than worl
but it is a blamed sight easier wa,
to die.
You cannot catch happiness b,
chasing il, any more than a dol
| chasing his tail, can catch it.
There is no incentive for harmless
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-07-18

, Starch, like everything else, is be-
ing constantly improved, the patent
Starches put on the market 20 years
ago are very different and inferior to
those of the present day. In the lat
est discovery-Defiance Starch-all in
furious chemicals are. omitted, while
the addition of another ingredient, in
vented by us, gives to the Starch a
strength and smoothness never ap-
preached by other brands.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-07-18

Lewis Single Binder Cigar has rich
taste. Your dealer or Lewis Factory,
Peoria. Ill.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-07-18
Historic Island for Sale.

Raasay island, in the Inner Heb
rides, which lies between the main
land of Scotland and the Isle of Skye,
has failed to find purchaser at the
upset price of $225,000 placed upon it.
Its name is the Scandinavian for the
place of the roe deer" and the shoot
ings. with the mansion house and
grounds at the southern end, consti
tute the chief value of the island.
Near the northern end are the ruins
of Brochel castle, the residence of its
ancient lairds, the MacLeods. In
celtic lore Raasay has a place and in
England literature it is mentioned In
Samuel Johnson's Journey to the
Western Islands of Scotland"
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-07-18

Tom-Fred had his eyes glued on
Miss Peachley during the entire eve
ming.
Jack--Stuck on her eh?
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-07-18

Every time woman makes fool
OF q wise man he simply charges II
up TO experience and let's il go al
that.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-07-18

A woman derives more pleasure
rom planning things that never come
eff than man does from the actual
happenings Of things.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-07-18
mo erandchildren or CATS

A property owner in Kingston,
London suburb, has posted notice
that mo grandchildren or cats" will
be allowed on his premises.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-07-18
Teaohino the Youno Ides,

The United States has 100000 school
buildings. in which 100000 teachers
are at work teaching nearly 100000
children.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-07-18

When banana peel takes a fan out
OF man and there isn't anything
broken but one of the commandments
he gets on lucky.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-07-18

In order to size up the average man
correctly, get his estimate of himself
and knock off so per cent
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-07-18
Old German wa-,b,p. hidden.

N NeiHoii "S'S SHts ''uetHs
Every time the kaiser visitst Dant
zig, says London Mail correspond
ent, all the old warsbips in the har.
Dor are towed to position In which
he can see them.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-07-18
Country Of Little Moisture.

Twenty minutes of rain in year is
sometimes all that southern Egypt
gets. and there is no dew In that
country.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-07-18

ARE YOUR CLOTHES FADEDs
Use Red Cross Ball Blue and make them
white again. Large OF. package, cents.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-07-18

1t is easier to prevent i'll habits
than TO break them Motto on Plato's
Ring
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-07-18

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing syrup.
For children teething sofens the gums, reduces In
dammaton. allays pain, cures wind cole 25e bottle
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-07-18

Scatter with one hand; gather with
two--German.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-07-18

Many a sweetheart turns out to be
a bitter disappointment as wife.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-07-18
lmportant 10 Mothers.

Examine carefully every bottle OF CAsTORlA,
.afe and sure remedy for infants and children,
and see that II
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1907-03-05
LONG TRIP ON HORSEBACK
Mar Ws9erx He Car Visit All seats
Capitals in Fogr Years

Washington K McBeth.
who started from Scostd2le. Pa. 20
visit all OF the state ezpitzAs Of the
United States On horseback. arrived In
Washington the other day.
His trip is the result Of a wager Of
SO. coo MeBeth Is not allowed 70
buy OF beg anything for the susie
nance Of himself or his mount. but
must depend entirely for funds and
shelter upon the presentation OF souve-
mir post cards which bear his picture
and information concerning his trip.
He is not allowed to offer them for
sale. bur may present them and re-
ceive in compensation whatever peO-
pie may care to give him
His average ride must be . miles
each day, and should he for any rea-
son fail to cover this distance. he
must make it up the following dzy. as
he has 0aly four years in which 70
complete his trip
No consideration viii Be made for
delays OF sny kind Even should his
horse become disabled or die MeBetk
must endezvor to fulfill his wager to
the best OF his ability. as no allowance
whatever VIII be made for him
When he called At the White House
McBesh was dressed in a corduroy
suit. trimmed with maroon applique.
and was thought At first TO be one OF
the presidents many western friends
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1907-03-05

tale had already been told TO yoa
Dessauer by Father Cement The
pair stood up under the golden glow
Of the swinging silver lamps II was
q strange scene. For, surely, never
was marriage more wonderfully cele-
brzted on this earth than this OF two
fair mzidens (fOr so they still sp-
pearedJ taking hands at the bidding OF
Gods priest and vowing the solemn
vows, in the presence Of q princes
chancellor, to live only for eacn other
in all the world.
Presently the solemn let no man
put asunder- was said. the blessing
pronounced, and Leopold Won Des-
sauer came forward with his usual
courtly grace to salute the newly made
Countess Won LOen-
He would have kissed her hand. but
with a swift gesture she offered her
cheek.
Not hands to-day. good friend she
said. 4 am no more q princess. bua
my husbands wife They cannot part
Us nov. can they. High CHANCELLOR
have gotten my wish.
Dear lady" the Chancellor Of Pizs
senburg answered gently. ! am an old
man. and I have observed that Hymer
is the most tricksone Of the divint
ties His omens go mostly By con
traries. Where much is expected, lit
tie IS obtained When all men speak
well OF a wedding and all the prophets
propheSy smooth things-my fear IS
great But be Of good cheer Though
you have chosen the rough road. the
periIous venture. the dark night. tbs
deep and untried ford. yOu viii yet
come out on q plain gladness. into =
day Of sunshine. and at the eventide
reach a home Of content"
ITO be continuedl
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1907-03-05

n. A Fuller, POSTMASTER az the
annual banquet OF the Pennsylvania
bankers convention in Wilkesh9rre
last month. introduced with this story
the banker Who responded 70 the
toast. Our Depositors-
a deposition in q neighboTing trust
company is an eccentric farmer Of
middle age. This farmer. though he is
wealthy. overdrew his account one
day 10 the tuue Of $500
Notification Of the Oyerdrzft was
at once sent TO him.
~He replied:
You tell me have oEerGrawn ny
account $500. Well. I know IT, So
what is the necessity Of bOthering ne
about it, Why not trust ne as do
your Do I so to yoa when / have
money in your institution and shout:
You hare $500 OF mines" Such state
ments are superauoUs either way. -
Buffalo Enquirer.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1907-03-05

Pref. sch~eningsr, of Germany, At
tacks Present Methods

BerIln--ProE schweninger's new
book entitled The Doctor win ere
ate tremendous sensation in medical
circles. II Is his revenge for % years
Of ostracism By the faculty. which
never has forgiven his intimacy with
Bismarck
The book embraces the entire duty
Of a physician to humanity. more Is
pecialIy his patient Il Is a terrible
indictment Of conventional methods.
Schwsninger SCOTS at medical science.
it's empfricism, its working in the
dark. its claim to the name Of .
science The medical science Of the
present win be ridIculed a hundred
years henee. Just as the science Of the
eighteenth century is rfdicuEed to-day
he says.
The work Of the physician. be holds
"a not science 50 much as art Science
ID obscure. deceptive art Is reliable
naked. serene. true The physicians
Of to-day make the transit Of the pa.
tient from sickness 70 health bitter By
/ their raw ignorance. their lack Of tart
Of art They cloud over the transit
from life TO death
Schweninger attacks the system d
giving medical men university edB
cation They load themselves In INT
versities with ballast Of no earthly
use he asserts They grow selfish
prsgmaticaI and frigid- They think
ouly Of gain and learn where and hOs
they can turn their so-czlIed sciencs
70 their own advantage or fame
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1907-03-05
BEER IN PLUGS his INVENTION.
Kansas Man Discovers Way 20 Evs6s
Prohibition Law

Topeka. Kzn-Here Is the real
dope. fresh out Of the drezmbOok- The
fondest hopes Of the man who loves
his pretzeIs and beer are being real
lied
A Topeka man has discovered how
10 make and sell beer without coming
into conflict with the prohibftory Law.
and also without having to pay
share Of the profits 10 Uncle Sans in
ternsl revenue collectors.
This Is the age Of concentration and
putting things into small packages
One can purchase q tin OF beef broth
for Is cents that vii feed = whole
family for a week
But this extract Of beer Is the real
thing 1t Is put up in plugs about the
size of dimes worth Of chewing to-
b4eco- II has a strong resemblance
in looks to the Aforesaid ping
One plug viii make from four TO
six gallons Of the finest beer ever
turned out OF \ brewery II can all be
done at hOme-no middEenan's profits.
no trouble. no revenue stamps. no
danger OF having an custer suit fled
against your mayor
One gets as much refreshmenf as
one plezses. and all in the home No
need 10 60 to Joint or drug store.
OF club. or TO an express Office Just
buy a package or concentrated extract
of hops and malt. take it home. and
make your own beer, I'VE gallons OF II
IA whole keg Of beer in one bunch as
big as q cake Of soap.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1907-03-05
IN GOOD SPIRITS.

A parish minister met some time
ago a prominent member Of his con-
gregation- publican by trade-who,
while engaged in the cellar Of his shop
a day or two previously. had accident
ally become immersed in barrel of
liquor, wherefrom. owing to his ex-
IRENE corpulence. he was rescued with
difficulty, and commenced to condole
with him on his unfortunate expert
ence.
You must have felt very uncomfort-
able indeed in such a painful situa.
ton" observed the cleric.
"Ochl no." was the CHEEKY reply,
Il wis in the vera best o. speerits."-
Tit.Bits.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1907-03-05
Plaes rensxssns 4 celleae.

Hiram. O.-The Hiram college
campus has been transformed into a
cemetery. When the students went TO
breakfast they noticed On the lawn
directly in front OF the college build
ing = large tombstone. which had been
stolen from some deserted csmsteEy-
The stone was raised to the memory
OF the I'VE students Who we're expelled
by the coIlsge authorities last week
and on il vas the inscription Sol
EMMY erected to the sacred memory
OF our departed friends. excommuni-
Gated by the Pharisees- Erected By
their brainless friends