Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-07-14
ANSWERS TO
CORRESPONDENTS

lin this column win he answered all questions of
proper nature submitted The Star. Inauirsrs
should write on one side only and address their let.
tiers Uncle Jasper" Star oncs In of difl
cult conundrums may he DELAYED for a
week or two. Consequently II may be advisable
TOR all qu.stoners TO watch this column carefully. i
REGINALD-was Vice President Fair.
banks In serious danger when he rescued a
woman from drowning In the Yellowstone
Parkf Ave cannot say precisely; but
inasmuch as the water was only seventeen
rect deep We are of the opinion that tho
risk was very slight indeed
l. c. N-What is the real significance OF
President Roosevelt's haymaking? At
Is tip to all good citizens to cut their
own grass. Get busy with your lawn
mower!
lMPATIENT.-What is the present stats
OF the pavement work on Pennsylvania
avenue? A.-During the past week four
cart loads of old concrete were removed
from one Of the squares fifteen SQUARE
yards OF new stun was spread the steam
roller bucbed eight times and the men
working the concrete mixer had a fight as
to which should get the coolest spot on tho
Job for nap. Otherwise the dear old
street looks Just about the same thank
you.
FELIX.| notice that the left eye of the
south lady on the Peace Monument f. very
black Can you tell me. Uncle Jasper
what Is the cause? A.-That is probably
the bruise she got when the battleships
were ordered to the Pacific These peace
people are very sensitive. you know.
II ever you wish to become rich and great"
Frankly declared John D..
Just keep your open and do not forget
To rivet them fast upon me,
For am pattern TO guide you Alright.
youk eeD me In sfyht
Be spry and save money aud do 'em all right
And then great magDate you'll be-"
MARGARET-What was Mark Twain's
greatest triumph In England? A.-Unques-
tionably his most notable stunt was pulled
on when he let loose lot Of his Joemiller-
isms and was solemnly assured by the staff
| OF Punch that they were brand-new Jokes
10 them That was better even than slap
R Gddle the king on the back and calling him
ANXIOUS.-Has the war talk subsided
yet? A.-oh. dear no. Richmond Pearson
Hobson Is still Engaged. and Secretary
Metcalf has not begun to dodge the re-
porters. Admiral Bob Evans is busy shak-
ing hands with Admiral Yamamoto and has
no time to talk, but there are several
others who are trying to keep the pot boil
Ing. Secretary Loeb has stopped denying.
That Is about all
FAN.-When do the Nationals return to
town? A-There are strong Indications that
they will be back about the oath. The office
boy has just notified us that his grand
mother is positively not expected to survive
beyond week from Tuesday.
Johnny turned his back on law, pills and banks
He much preferred to earn his wage where soda
waters made.
So now he stands from morn till night. pauses
To al the thirsty crowd with nn. and foam and
Forsooth he is doughty wight and exc with glad
wheneer he coc!s his hands with ice and of tho
navors smells.
L. E. x-If Uncle Sam tries to put all
the trusts in the hands Of receivers and
buys stock In all the railroads. will 1t not
be necessary to create a new cabinet office?
The business details Of these little affairs
can easily be settled between the tennis
games.
FRED.--1f I've got only a dime In my pock-
ct and my best girl wants a soda and calls
for Decent glass. what will do-tell her
to forget it or pass up the whole business
as bad job. l want to know? A.-By all
means let her have her ''choclut'' and tell
her you have gone the saltwater wagon.
Be good to her. because her successor may
have a more expensive thirst.
T. H. O.-How is the Car of Russia get
ting along these days? A.-Nicely, nicely.
He has only five regiments stationed around
seven battleships and twenty-five torpedo
boats and five submarines are In attend
| ance He is said to be thinking OF spend
ing the summer in northern Siberia but he
| Is afraid the nihilists may pink his favorits
airshp on the way going coming. Yes.
indeed affairs steadily progressing in
Russia. We expect to hear next that the
car actually took a walk in the garden.
CONFUSED.-Who is mayor OF San Fran
cisco at present? A.-Schmitz still thinks
he Is and sent around from the jail for
his wages the other day. But there are
some doubts on the subject
els it hot-y'' be said, with cleaning eye,
But he said that day
One swing. swat. swift collapse,
And they bore him far away
UNCLE JASPER