davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03
GLOBE SIGHTS.

IFrom the Atchison Globe
A whittier never whites his own fur
niture.
There are two kinds Of advertising.
One kind doesn't do you any good
Men who are looking for work now
seem to be praying they won't find it,
There are some games in which YOU
can only win OUT by getting out.
Everyone makes the mistake of i'm
agining that others enjoy hearing him
talk.
We are never interested in a mans
claim to being the champion egg eater
1t isn't necessary to go very far from
home in order to become a stranger
When two friends get mad, each be-
gins to think how much he has done for
the other.
Everyone at some time feels a lunp
on himself somewhere, and imagines IL
is a cancer.
So many things happen to make
man humble that the wonder is that
anyone can be proud.
We heard a man describing a neigh
Dor today. HE is a big, heavy, Dur
ham faced man." he said.
Some kin combinations are so serious
that no one can get around them with
out a great big fuss.
You may think you have a hard row
to hoe: ever think of the wretchedness
of a drunkard's wife?
The only time a man wishes he were
a girl, Is when he sees one met by her
girl friends at a train.
The people get tired OF nothing else
in the world as quick as they get tired
Of the schemes of failing man.
An amateur would never take part in
a concert If he didn't believe he could
do better than he really can.
There is no more humor in him." said
q man today, in describing a friend
than there is in tombstone"
The royal families are at least useful
in furnishing a choice lot of names for
thoroughbred American live stock
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
IFrom the Chicago News.

IF'rom the Chicago News.1
Most people look grave when they are
buried in thought.
Worry is one of the things that re-
fuse to bump the bumps.
Don't borrow trouble. If you have
the borrowing habit, borrow money.
Freedom of speech has enabled many
a man to give it to himself in the neck.
A nuisance is a nuisance, no matter
what particular kind of a nuisance he
is.
Put your best foot forward when you
go into a store to try on a pair of new
shoes.
Don't waste time trying to impress
people with the Importance of your
own Importance.
There is something wrong with the
minister who breaches eternal happi-
Tess and is unable to generate a smile.
Usually a mother is not able to see
the badness in her own children or the
goodness in the children of her neigh
bOrS.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03
ANOTHER BLOW AT BOOZE.

The action of the Wells-Fargo Ex-
press company in refusing to accept
c. o. d. liquors for Kansas means an
other marked step towards real tenn
perance, especially IL the other express
companies adopt this same order, as it
is said they will do.
In those counties where the pro-
hibitory law has been strictly enforced
the only way in which old topers
could get their supplies of liquid fire
has been by express, and in some
places the express companies have
done a big business in LIQUID goods.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03
HUMOR OF THE Day

Knicker-The demands for money nova
days are simply enormous.
Pennsylvania railroad wanting 5000 600
and only this morning Jones asked me to
lend him a dollar.-IIarper's Bazaar
How does that fashionable physician
manage to get on as he does?"
'-Oh. he's such a jollier-"
He went to the length of telling. Cholly
Softed that he was sure Cholly had some
thing on his mind-"-Baltimore American
Mr., Watt.Manners--see that old man
ahead of us? That's Casburn- He's worth
a million dollars, and just look at his UNI
Mrs. Watt-Nfanners-Oh, but you mustn't
judge him by that dear. 1t may not be
his own you know.-Town and Country.
She (after a vivacious discussion)-Ah,
you dare to look me in the face!
this world one becomes accustomed to ev-
erything.-n Motto per Ridere-
Passionate Pilgrim-My good mar. do you
know whether I'm right for Stratford-on-
Rustic silent. Tourist (encouragingly)-
Stratford.,Shakespea country. You
Rustic (brightening)-Yus, be you he?-
Ally Sloper.
willie-Papas if I'm liar will go to
Twickenham-Ce Certainly. Why?
WILLIE was thinking how far away you
Home Companion.
Naturalist-Here is a specimen of some
thing that I was sure would sooner or
later be evolved.
Reporter examining it)-What is the
creatures new kind of horsefly?
Naturalist-No, sir; it is a ''honkolocust''
or auto-fly.''-Puck.
Rate Collector-Are you sure your mis-
tress isn't in?
New Maid-I hope you don't doubt her
word, sir.-Smiles.
"Mary!' yelled the poet. why don't you
keep that kid quiet? What's the matter
with him, anyway"
I'm sure don't know" replied his pa
tient wife; I'm singing one of your Iufla-
bies to the little darling. "-Philadelphi
Press.
Maid-But I'm afraid wouldn't be hap
py II L married you. always want my
own way in everything. you know.
married you can keep right on wanting 1t.
Chicago News
'T.ady-Sir. have you over vvorxed7 .s9nE
Tramp-Certafn1y, madam. I've worked
people all my 1ife.--Detroit Free Press.
WIN you kindly explain your condi-
don? asked the wife with such a dignity
as she could command after waiting up
until a. m.
''Zhat 'sh woman of itl'' commented the
husband thickly. Cant un'shtan' shorne-
pin That 'Sh perf'ly plain. Judge
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03

nance making it practically impossible
to keep Them If people have to keep
their dogs chained or in their houses
all the time there is no reason why
they should pay for licenses on them.
If the city prohibits people from TAX
ing their dogs around with them,
ought not the city to return the
money it has collected on dog licenses
for the coming year?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

TFrom the New York Press.1
Successful public service is nine-tenths
noise.
When a man can hang on to his
money it's sign he isn't married.
To a girl spring means gauzy things
that a blind man could see through.
1t takes a woman when she catches
her child in a lie to convince herself it
wasn't.
A girl would almost rather have to
make" her complexion than have a red
nose from a cold in her head.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03

Now Senator La Toilette is stirring
up things out in California by deliver
ing a few lectures. A peculiar thing
about La Toilette is that he invariably
comes up to his advance notices The
audience that turns out to hear him
speak is never disappointed. At the
end of two or three hours talk it
usually yells for more of the same.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03

Senator TiIlman told an eastern au-
dience that came to hear him lecture,
that they didn't know anything, and he
animated that they were lot of asses.
TITlman was right. If they had been in
felIigent they would not have paid good
money to hear Tillman rant
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03

The Chicago Socialists who pro-
posed to impeach President Roosevelt
have given it UP for the reason that it
s.wouId be worse than useless to at
tempt to proceed against the presi-
dent at this time, when the senate is
oiled with his political associates and
dependents Now wouldn't that
make you smile? The United States
senate is against the president as
much as are the Socialists.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03

1t is said that they are entirely too
quick on the trigger down in Virginia
1t may be true that Virginians are a
little too speedy in pulling off their
quarrels, but they are not speedier
than the rest of the country when it
comes to pulling off expeditions.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03

The Ottawa Herald thinks Fred s.
jackson is the first attorney general
Kansas has had, whom duty found at
home when she called. 1t might be
added that duty didn't have to call
twice, and also that Mr.. Jackson did not
remain at home. He went out and got
busy right away.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03

Somebody says the unusual number of
butterflies this spring portends serious
storms later in the season. You don't
have to believe this unless you want to.
but the weather has been so ornery for
the last month that it is easy to believe
almost anything mean about it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03

Abe Ruef says he cannot get fair
trial in San Francisco. Yet Ruef has
been bossing San Francisco for years
and is responsible for many of its
public officials. Whose fault is it he
rannnt get a fair trial there?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03

1t is argued in favor Of baseball that
1t is not nearly as rough and dangerous
as football. This may be true. but ap-
pearances indicate that 1t is worse on
the spectators, judging from the reports
Pro-,1 2aIdvUiu
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03

We don't always get the cold end of
the weather. Yesterday while To-
peka was enjoying as fine brand of
spring day as the weather bureau
could turn out, Colorado Springs was
being entertained by a binding snow
storm. P. S.-We got the cold end
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03

II talent is all that is necessary, the
school book commission ought to have a
good assortment of Kansas biographies
to choose from.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03

The wells-Fargo Express company
will deliver no more booze G. o. d. This
means that even artificial irrigation
will be largely restricted in the Wells
Fargo territory.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03

Down at. Fort Scott Mrs. Kinder has
sued the Frisco for $4,000 She evident
" kinder wants the Frisco to pay over
the money.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03
THIS FUNNY WORLD.

Dave Mulvane says that the story
that he accepted $4,000 to prevent a
fraud order being issued against the
Uncle Sam Oil company is ridiculous.
Dave is dead right. The people of
Kansas have been up now for three
nights laughing, at the story. They
can't go to sleep. Every time they
think of it they, get to giggling, and
can't stop. This is a funny world,
and when you think of a man like
Dave Mulvane being accused of &C
cepting $4,000 to prevent a fraud or
der on the Uncle. Sam company. it
certainly IS highly ssnortiferous. And
the joke Of 1t that sofrfeF Wag endorsed
the check for 2,500.-Emporia Ga
zette.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03

AS proof that the Marion Record
isn't for sale, Governor Hoch an
nounces that he will build a new
home for it next fall
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03

It is understood that Colonel Bryan
Is not TOR Harmon for president, al
though he may want harmony.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03

The warmest March on record was
succeeded by the coolest April since
1874 Now what sort of a record does
May propose to make?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03
FRON OTHER PENS
A CHANGED COMMONWEALTH.

"A O6<ANdED .AON1MO1N w EALIf1.
| To secure good articles is difficult.
! One of those we most desire we pro-
badly should be most unable to secure,
thanks partly to prophecies of diplo-
macy. Our wish is keen that the new
ambassador from England might ilIur-
corning a question in American states
manship. A scant two decades ago,
in his American Commonwealth he
wrote: IAN American may, through a
long life, never be reminded of the
federal government, except when he
votes at presidential and congressional
elections lodges a complaint against the
postoffice, and opens his trunk for a
custom house officer on the pier at
New York when he returns from tour
of Europe" After reviewing the i'm
mense compass of state functions, Mr..
Bryce decided that Jefferson would
seem to have been not far wrong when
he said that the federal government
was nothing more than the American
department of foreign affairs The
author who wrote this returns to find
his American in touch with the federal
power in oome of the most ordinary
ninutiae of daily life-when he buys
pound of meal, goes to the druggist for
medicine, buys coffee at the corner
grocery or secures a railroad ticket.
Soon the age at which his child may
go to work promises to be regulated at
Washington, and one subject, bank
ruptcy, has been transferred bodily
from Mr.. Bryce's list of state functions
to the expanding scope. OF federal ac-
.tivities. An assay on the whittier and
the why from the pen of Mr.. Bryce
would be a valuable contribution to the
flood Of thought which was recently in
creased by Mr.. Root.-Collier's Weekly.
CHEAP AT HALF THE PRICE.
The editor of a. ''woman's page says
''2O cents is the price of the beautiful
crinum kiskil." If this is something
new in the osculatory line at a charity
bazaar, it certainly looks cheap from
here.-Washington Post.
KENTUCKY AND NEW YORK.
All the Kentucky feud districts COM
bined can't make such a deadly show
ing as New York city has made in the
roundup of the pistol oters.-Atlanta
Constitution.
NEVER MIND THE PLATFORM.
Mr. Bryan seems to be gradually
maneuvering himself into the attitude
of being ready to run next year on
"any old platform. York Tri-
bune.
WHERE HE STANDS.
If Mr.. Hartman had any lingering
doubts as to his status, the presidents
letter to Honore Jaxon must have put
them to rest.-Baltimore American.
BALANCE OF POWER.
He is a poor, puny king who can't
disturb the equilibrium of Europe every
time he goes away from home over
Sunday-Chicago Reeord-Herald.
CHINA AWAKE.
China is so much impressed by this
talk of disarmament that 1t has or
dered 100000 new rifies.-Chicago
News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03

Isn't it about time that the frost was
turned off for keeps.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03

1t is announced that w. E. Corey,
the steel trust magnate, and Mabelle
Gilman, the actress. will be married
on May 10. No. it doesn't come on
Friday this time.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03

1t really looks like a bunco game
for the city to collect licenses on dogs
from Iaw-abiding people who are
willing to pay for the privilege of
keeping pets and then pass an ordi-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03

A Topeka druggist made 1,400 sales
of liquor during the month OF April.
There appears to be a great amount
OF sickness in Topeka at present re-
nuiring LIQUOR as a remedy.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03
A "BAGATELLE."

The cold snap cost Kansas $1,000
900. That will reduce the bank de-
posts to the meager sum of $919,-
00,795.-Abilene Reflector
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State Journal is a member or the
Associated Press and receives the fulI DAY
telegraph report of that great news or
Eanization for the exclusive afternoon
publication in Topeka
The news is received in The state jour
Ha1 building over wires for this sole pur-
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03
CHINA AWAKE

China is so much impressed by this
talk of disarmament that 1t has or
dered 100000 new rifies.-Chicago
News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03
RALANCE or POWER.

He is a poor, puny king who can't
disturb the equilibrium of Europe every
time he goes away from home over
Sunday.-Chicago Reoord-Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03
WHERE HE STANDS.

If Mr.. Hartman had any lingering
doubts as to his status, the presidents
letter to Honore Jaxon must have put
them to rest.-Baltimore American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03
OPTIMISM.

Most every newspaper we have
picked up within the last week or two
has contained a wall about the frost
killed fruit and garden sass. 1t has
been the general topic of conversation
on the streets and at social gather
ings. But things are never so bad but
that they could be worse. We still
have prospects of a wheat crop and a
good corn crop. The first crop of al
falfa was killed, 1t is true, but alfalfa
generally yields four crops a year, so
there is still prospects of three bump
er crops right there. The view taken
by the philosopher of the Jewel Re-
publican as he looks at the devasta-
ton is refreshing as we'll as whole
some. He says IAN earthquake
that shakes down cities is worse than
a frost that kills the peaches, and
having a little dry spell of weather
isn't SO bad as living in a country
where twenty million people are
starving to death. The trouble with
this country is that we do not know
how we'll off we are."-Lindsborg
News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03
KAMS1S COMAENT
THE GoULDs.

If there is anything in heredity
now does it come that two children
or the same parents are often so vast
~ different IN character and DISPOSE
good qualities and the other one the
less desirable ones Take Anna and
Helen Gould, for instance. The form
er sold herself to a scoundrel for the
consideration of social prestige and
paltry title. The deal was made to
satisfy her vanity but has brought
her only suffering and unhappfness.
Her sister Helen is philanthropist,
Denefactress to the nation of which
she IS part. Her latest charitable
enterprise is a notable one and sug-
sests q way whereby the poorer peo-
pie of the large cities can be helped
to become Independent and happy. 1t
is charity in the true sense of the
word inasmuch as it makes 1t possible
for people to help themselves. Miss
Gould has purchased near Greeley in
colorado, a tract of 1000 acres.
she is ready to expend 100000 for
implements. seed and fencing. The
the buyers who prove themselves
worthy viii be allowed easy terms
of payment. They will have the adj
vantage of instructions with access to
library. and the sanitation of the
tract will be superintended by skilled
and practical directors Early in the
operation the shiftless will be weeded
out. No better choice of location
could have been made. The town of
Greeley was settled many years ago
by colonists from the east inspired by
the advice of Horace Greeley. 1t is in
the midst of vast stretch of fertile
land adapted to grain and fruits, and
absolutely unequaled for the quality
and yield of its potatoes.-Lindsborg
News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03

Willie-Papar If I'm liar will go to
the bad place?
Twickenham-Certa Why?
Willie-I was thinking how far away you
and would be from mother.-Woman'
Home Companion.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03

She latter a vivacious discussion)-Ah,
you dare to look me in the facet
He Cphi1osophically)-G heavens! In
this world one becomes accustomed to ev-
erything!-u Motto per Fidere.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03

Knicker-The demands for money nova
days are simply enormous.
Bocker-Terrible, terrible; here's the
Pennsylvania railroad wanting 500, 000.o 600
and only this morning Jones asked me to
lend him a dollar.-Harper's Bazaar.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03

Mr. Watt-AGanners-See that old man
ahead of us? That's Casburn- He's worth
a million dollars and just look at his UNI
brella.
Mrs. Watt-Afanners-Oh,b but you mustn't
judge him by that dear. 1t may not be
his own, you know.-Town and Country.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03

Passionate Pilgrim-My good man,do you
know whether I'm right for Stratford-on-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03

Naturalist-Here is a specimen of some
thing that I was sure would sooner OF
later be evolved
Reporter examining it)-What is the
creature-a new kind of horsefly?
Naturalist-No, sir; it is ''honkolocust''
or "auto-fly.'-Puck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03
NEvER MIND THE PLATFORM.

Mr.. Bryan seems to be graduaIly
maneuvering himself into the attitude
of being ready to run next year on
"any old platform. NEW York Tri-
bune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03

| tress isn't in?
New Maid-I hope you don't doubt her
| word, sir.-Smiles
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03

How does that fashionable physician
manage to get on as he does?"
''Oh, he's such jollier."
rs he?'
HE went to the length of telling Cholly
Softed that he was sure ChOlly had some
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-05-03

Miss Petit had slipped upon the
greasy sidewalk, and lay moaning and
half unconscious with pain. The girls
had all gone on and bootblack was
trying to make her comfortable until
the attention of a policeman could be
attracted.
Nell pushed him away and took the
woman's head into her lap, disposing
her so that the wrenched ankle was
more comfortable. Then she turned to
the lad who had stuck to her side, de-
termined to at least share the interest
with the newcomer.
TT is my forewoman," she said run
up to the Rotary Addressing Company
and ask Mr.. Nelson to come quick"
The lads statement that a lady was
almost killed and was asking for him,
brought Jimmy on the run. White-fac-
ed he tore his way through the increas-
ing crowd of curious people to come to
a dead stop when he perceived the stu
alton.
s'It's only Miss Petit" he growled in
mingled relief and disappointment. AZ
thought 1t was you"
I'VE must get her home. Jimmy"
pleaded Nell. ''She says she won't go in
an ambulance Please call a cab.''
THE ambulance is plenty good for
her." he grow1ed, though to them the
ambulance was shade less disgrace
full than the patrol wagon. Didn't she
talk to you like you were dog this at
ternoon2'
Get cab for me-" pleaded Nell, and
Jimmy turned away.
1t was not far to Miss Pettft's board
ing place. and Nell hustled about MAX
ing the tiny hall room more comfort
able. Jimmy stuck doggedly, too, wait
ing to take Nell home. Miss Petit sank
back on the bed with a sigh.
THAT will do very WE'LL" she said
family. 1.-The doctor will bandage my
ankle and then the girl will put me to
Evening star., 1907-11-03
CHESAPEAKE UNION
TO MEET THIS WEEK

The Chesapeake Presbyterian Union
has arranged to meet at the Central
Presbyterian Church, corner of Sd and
l streets, next Wednesday and Thurs
day.
The church will be open all day
Wednesday for the reception of dele
gates, and the first public meeting win
be held at o'clock in the evening
under the joint leadership of Rev. J. y.
Sewer, pastor of the Second PreSbyte-
rian Church of Alexandria, Va; Rev.
H. Waddell Pratt and Rev. James H.
Taylor, pastors, respectively, of the
Second and Central Presbyterian
churches of this city. Thursday morn
ing at 10 o'clock the delegates will
convene for organization, after which
a luncheon will be served by the ladies
of the Laura PitZer Missionary Society.
The meetings will be brought to a
fitting conclusion Thursday evening at
o'clock with stereOptiCon lecture
on home missions by DIR. S. L. Norris of
Atlanta, Ca, secretary of home mis-
sions for the Southern Presbyterian
Church