The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-02-10
v. Clam Interviews
Three Cabinet Members.

great power IKE Germany II
should do this, NJ, Hpcck might become
81 angry M 10 knock out Roosevelt IN
the next boxing bout, No, mol Those
| proplirlGa must bn observed. VIZ
shalt Interfere only with the small nu-
tlonn, when they do mlgtreat those
poor blacks. our bowels of compass
sion do boil with indlgnntiog Yet II
Germany wishes 10 massacre those
nottcHtotH. that iB not IN onr sphere
of influence, Al things nIhc dlplo-
macy must bc done dcccptly,"
said. Permit me 10 mako the
grand suggestion. NJ, Root. why do
| you not be- one candidate for the PreBi-
deney? Then you could get busy"
Ills reply; "Ah, my dear Clam. /
have tried that plan, II IN not the
nuceeHs IN my ease Those people do
not understand me, They think am
| cold /. Elihu Root, with my passion
ntc nature Can they not see how
with ycarning ! sailed to visit our l0v.
ing Hlalrra of the South America? Al
most embraced all public men Of
thnt hemisphere. Then hurry to Can
ada for more warm embraces. Yet
they say, Root, he " the cold propo-
sltion. He Ia too conservative, TOO
cool to be- our President We must
have the hot blood, tho quick trigger
No | shall not be the candidate, Come.
let IN talk TO him"
with pleasure | did go with II. Root.
down that corridor 10 the Department
Of war Here all was the hustle. the
excitement Of kilograms and mesEcnv
gers, Almost | thought Of war ex-
element. bu, 81, Root did assure me
II was only the politics. We entered
The cabinet OF NJ TAFT. Lying back
In one huge chair was one magnificent
gentleman Of the blonde sex. mos, nt-
tractively smiling. Instantly he rolled
over and ca;as 10 his feet. "siy deur
Elihu!" he exclaimed. GONE In, come
in, with your-do not introduce, |, 10
unneceBsary-~with you ~ NJ. Clam,
TO know you, NJ, Clam. Nv my delight.
have read your superb letters on the
affairs American with much instruc-
tion."
Here NJ, Taft did embrace me- Al
most expected to die from that hug.
hal pleasure 10 receive his praise.
said when my breath did return:
1T In thrice agreeable to meet you.
NJ Taft. in company with NJ, Root.
He In the melancholy, man. yet you
can do much to make him happy"
Ills reply; "Ah. yes' Many times
try to stir up the questions interna-
tional TO relieve my friend Of the en-
nui. How can serve you. Elihu?"
NJ. Root said: you. my dear Bill,
are good TO me- DO you think you
can make a little more trouble with
the Japan? Since NJ. Swettenham
did disappear all Is too quiet. Help
me- dear collengue!"
NJ. Tnfts reply: with pleasure!
| shall ask NJ Roosevelt TO DO some
thing desperate, Courage dear Elinu,
Something vii! happen yet, II We have
energy"
NJ. Root did excuse himself, with
with thanks, and said; Now | shall
return to that lethal chamber. |, dear
Bnl, am the hermit of the cabinet"
poor Elihu!" exclaimed M. Taft,
looking nt his retiring colleague. "Ah.
all men cannot be candidates for the
Presidency"
said; "You. Nj. TAFT, wish to be-
come President"
His reply; M. Rooseve's wish Is
my lut", NJ. Clam. shall do what
he wishes. First. permit me to thank
you for your kind words of NJ. Roose-
welt, In this world. when Senators
and cruel newspapers speak of blum
ders almost have despair to kee up
with M. Roosevelt. Yet l try hard to
prevent the blunder. After, am al
ways ready to explain how 1t was not
the blunder but the stroke of unmedl-
tatei genius. You, M. Clam, have per-
ceived this, and I have gratitude for
your kindness to M. Roosevelt. One
moment--I must weep for my chief! !!
NJ. Taft did turn aside, weeping.
had distress to watch his sorrow, Yet
soon he did dry the tears, and one
fierce aspect of anger elevated mus
tache and flashed the eye Of him. He
said:
ut, Is the work of M. Foraker! He
Is to blame IL all negroes hate M
ROOSEVELT Yet he shall suffer. NJ