davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-03-15

Freely Interpreting the Rules.
%. Johnny, Johnny! What's the
matter? Have you been fighting?"
Worse n that, mamma. Me an the
boys has been playin' reformed foot
ball."
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-03-15
More Remarkable.

II see an inventor is working on an
automobile that will jump over holes"
That's nothing compared to my ma.
chine"
why, what does your auto dor
"The first time took it out 1t jumped
over the curb and tried to climb .
tree"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-03-15
A Difference In Chances.

AFTER ALL" said the sentimental
youth, Glove is lottery"
II don't know about that" answered
the cynic. "You have some chances in
a lottery"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-03-15

ONLY ONE .sBROMO QUININE"
That 70 LAXATIVE BtUMO Qunne. Similarly
named remedies sometimes deceive The FIRST and
original Cold Tablet Is a WHITE PAOKA AGE with
black and red lettering. and bears the signature Of
= W. GROVE. $50.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-03-15
His Greatest Fear.

Good Mainland do you think, for
one moment, my good man. that stun
% going to quench your thirst2
Old Soaker-Heaven forbid!
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-03-15
DR.. J. II. RiNOLAUs, (speclaiist).
Eye. Ear, Nose and Throat,
Fargo, N. q.

The average man is schooled to the
belief that experience is not only a
good but an expensive teacher.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-03-15

Especially worthy of notice is Garfield
Tea. Natures remedy for constipation.
sick-headache, liver and kidney derange.
nasnts. It is made wholly of Herbs.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-03-15

i AOuSoAASAS SOAA OA
cures made by Doan's
Kidney Pills. John c.
Coleman. a promt-
nent merchant of
SWANS boro. Ga.
says: "For several
ars my kidneys
were affected. and
my back ached day
and night. I was
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-03-15
Different Shades.

Different SHADES.
The celebrated medium rapp01
three times on the black cabinet.
"And now, kind SIR" she said IN
spooky voice, what would you like ne
to tell you about?"
why" replied the little man in the
audience. II would like you 10 tell mo
the shade my wife told me to match
when started down town to-day
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-03-15
CHAPTER TX.

II II a ANO1S1INE -
manner was great
ly furried and ill at
ease, and the hand
she laid on Margie's
was cold as ice.
Margie scrutinized
her curiously, won
deriRg the while ct
her own heartless
apathy.
Something had
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-03-15

PUTNAM FADELESs DYES do not
stain the hands or spot the kettle, except
green and purple. lOc per package.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-03-15

No man ever asks truthful woman
what she thinks Of him more than
once.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-03-15

When a man tries to please his
wife's relatives he attempts the impos-
sible.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-03-15

Partners and Grizzly Bears.
Ship Burs, Hides. Pelts MCMILLAN Fur 4
Wool Co.; Minneapolis. Write for prices.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-03-15

Men who elope with q single IDEA
never get welded to truth.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-03-15
sALr MINING IN MICHIGAN.


Ne4ssyssSs 81 y - -
Tho lower peninsula Of Michigan 10
almost entirely underlaid with
stratum Of rock salt averaging in
thickness about 500 feet and varying
In depth from go? to 1900 feet This
bed Of rock salt is saturated with
brine TO a degree OF strength Of "a to
30 per cent. It is psracticaalys ,inex-
haustlble. caused by largearea Of
rock salt outcropping In the bottom
OF Lake Huron, the process of seep
supplying hundreds Of salt wells With
thousands Of barrels Of brine pumped
out daily.
In the city Of Saginaw there has
just been completed and put In oper.
alton the most modern salt plant In
America, since advantage has been
taken Of all new devices. machinery
and methods OF handling the prodnct
tending to economy In salt making.
These factors and that of utilizing the
waste steam from the Saginaw Plate
Glass company. Of which the salt
plant is an adjunct, have reduced tho
cost of producing salt to figure sur.
prtsing to all salt experts.
Automatic machinery has so. sup
planted labor in every process that
from the rock salt to the barrel load
ed tn the car for shipment no hand
has touched the crystal. Only the
master saltmaker. well-known salt
expert, and few helpers are re-
quired to watch the machinery and
xeep 1t in perfect running order.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-03-15

Soul culture is matter of spiritual
eompanionship.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-03-15

He who does not tight his appetite
must forego his aspirations.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-03-15

Mrs. Wlnslew's Soothing syrup.
~ 9hildron tsething, softeny tue guun reucas in
aaaas!os ailaSs pals. cures Mad cola 70 botsIs.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-03-15

Garfield Tea has been famous for year,
as remedy for constipation, liver and
kidney diseases. Guaranteed under tbs
Pure Food Law.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-03-15

One Of the best things out is a do.
eayod tooth.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-03-15
DOES YOUR BACK ACHE,
Cure the kidneys end the. Pain .WilI
Never Return.

Only one sure way to cure an aching
hack. Cure the cause, the kidneys.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-03-15

No man ever did his duty standing
- his dignity.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-03-15

Your best friend and worst sasmy
ls your tongue.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-03-15

A girl with swanlike neck may DO
all right in novel, but she doesn't
show up SO we'll In real life.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-03-15

0mpoeeaae % Mofhoea:
Examine carefully every bottle Of 0AST0MA
safe and sure remedy tor infants aad oaf,dssa.
and SO that Is
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-03-15

A dead level 10 hard climb to n good
many people.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-13
MAKING
DIFFICULTIES

4 love to sit here by the fire with
you," he began. Tits ine!"
Yes, agreed the young woman
with last grasp at perverseness, 1T
ought to be! You can't imagine the
dreadful sums father pays for his
hickory logs!"
Il didn't mean that" expostulated
the young man. / meant it was fine
to be sitting here with you, you
knOwi"
"Oh!" said the young woman non
cOmmiJtally.
The young man crossed one knee
over the other and frowned slightly.
It seemed hard to get started. Yes,
| like to sit here with you,' he repeat
ed desperately. 1T wouldn't be in the
least romantic if we were sitting be-
side a register or radiator. would it?"
''Why should it be?" queried the
young woman in what appeared to be
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-13

Jane was down and in the kerosene
caravan.
Clarence hadn't arrived.
Somebody must have put him next,
but l knew where he lived and / fig
ured it out that after we came back
from Lonely Lane I'd send the landau
around and around the block he
ecsmped in till made him dizzy
Clara Jane was the feature of the
same.
Sire was the limit in ladies' dress
gools.
For i chaser she wore one OF those
feather boas that feel cool because
they look so warm.
Well, turned the horseless gag into
the shell road and cut loose.
We were doing about 4S miles an
hour and the brides were singing on
the way.
Clarence Edgerton Montrose was
working in shaft No. 3, back in the
Tnines-my lady friend told me so.
She was having the time of her life.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-13

g.. 2 - 60 - s go; sIsiF -
get a crowd around they begin to go
10 the places that struck them hard
est.
AS an honest, Woodworking man it
was my duty to put the boots to Ed
gerton and run him down the lane as
Far as the eye could see.
So l framed up Clarence's finish
with much attention to detail.
l looked over Clara James dates
ahead and found that Clarence had
rented the house for a Wednesday
matinee, so hired one of those horse
less carriage things and pulled up in
front of the windows just about the
time ] thought His Feathers would
be playing the overture
/ knew that Clara Jane you'd can
Gel the contract with the mutt that
mixed in just as soon as she saw the
automobile snap.
1 figured that the picture entitled
1.-THE True Lovers Departure in the
Dream Wagon" would put a crimp in
Clarence about the size of a barn
door.
It was my third or fourth time be-
hind the lever of the busy barouche,
but I was wise that you pulled the
plug this way when you wanted it to
go ahead, and you showed it back
when you wanted it to stop.
When it came to benzine buggies
felt that my education was complete.
L was George Gazazza, the real Ro-
landO, when l pulled up in front of
my lady friends front gate.
My market price was $4,000 a
square inch.
In Siv rnirl,tas hu the watnh Clara
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-13
&yobr1 Henry
on the
Ben zine
BgIG6Y
- HVGH McHUGR
(Ceorss v. HoBar1

tCeOF5s v. Hobart
4 crOss-cOuntTy dub named Mont
rose has been doing the shine spe-
cialty around Clara Jane lately.
lie began to call evenings and
bring a bunch of ready-grown flowers
with him as big as a hay stack.
Then he'd spread around the parlOr
and tel her how he won the long-dis-
lance running jump in the 'O1 Yale
class.
AS you approached him from the
front the first name you saw was
Clarence-Clarence Edgerton Mont
rose.
Wouldn't that slap you!
] don't think Clara Jane considered
him the real kittens, but he could talk
fast and use long words and she found
him pleasant company.
She said she loved to sit and shade
her eyes with the eight-dollar fan 1
gave her and listen to Clarence Ed
geTton Montrose while he discoursed
about Palestine and the Holy Land.
IF he was ever there he went in
hack
That's the trouble with some of
those college come-outs! The pro
fessors beat them over the head with
a geography and then as soon as they
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-13

hula dance over the lawn, and then fell
in the we'll and stayed there, painting
as though it's little gas-engine heart
would break.
When l limped back to Clara Jane
the storm signals were flying.
She was away Qua on the ice.
The feather boa looked like the haw-
ser on a canal boat, and the ashes had
changed the pattern of her dress goods.
We were stingy takers on the road
home.
1t will take me two years to square
myself.
Hereafter, me to the trolley!
Me to the saucy stage coach when
I'm due to gallop away and away!
No more benzine buggies for yours
sincerely!
Never again for the bughouse bar
ouche! Not me.
| have only one consolation: The
chap we pried off the bicycle was Clar-
ence Edgerton Montrose.
It will take him about three years
and two months to find all the spots
that foolish wagon knocked off him.
Meantime, l hope to be Clara
Janes sugar buyer again.
Copyright, 1901, by c. w. Dillingham; Coz
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-13

then started down the road at the rate
of 100000 miles a minute.
why don't YOU stop it," screamed
my lady friend.
I'll be the goat; what's the an
swer?" l said, clawing the lever and
ducl1ing the low bridges.
We met a man on bicycle and the
last l saw Of him as we whizzed by he
had found soft spot in field about
four blocks away and he was going
into it head first.
We kept his bicycle and carried it
along on our smoke stack.
| couldn't stop the thing to save my
life.
Every time l yanked the lever the
snap would let chortle out of his
puzzle department and fly 400 feet
straight through the air.
We were headed for an old ash
heap, and my market price had gone
down to three cents a ton.
Don't jump" 1 yelled to my lady
half of my sentence away.
Clara Jane gathered her skirts in
bunch and did flying leap out of
the crazy cab.
She landed right in the middle of
that heap of fresh ashes-and she
made good. -,ss,zA1 s~s>---4..--~--.--
All 1 could see was a great, gray
cloud as pushed on to the next stand.
About half a mile further down the
road the machine concluded to turn
into a farm yard and give the home
folks a treat.
1t went through window in the
barn. out through skylight, did the
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-13
Mother Not TO Be Trusted.

John Alexander DOwie had a grand
knack of putting things quantity and
forcibly. At one Of his last meetings
he attacked the modern mother Of So
ciety. the mother who neglects her
children.
why" he said, Il overheard the
most remarkable conversation be-
tween two nursemaids on car yes
terday.
Are you going to the picnic?' said
the first nursemaid.
mo said the second, I'm afraid
shan.t be there
why not? cried the first. And
Won so fond. too, of picnics and dane
ing and young men and all that there!'
"'Oh,' said the other nursemaid, I'd
dearly love to go; dearly. But, to tell
you the truth, I'm afraid to leave the
baby with it's mother.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-13
Easily Adjusted.

Chairman Knapp of the interstate
commerce commission, told in New
York the other day a French railway
story. "A traffic manager" he said,
came to the president Of the line and
exclaimed disconsolately: we are
having nc end of trouble with the pub
lie, sir, about those old dark blue cars.
Everybody says they bump so fright
fully in comparison with the new
light blue ones, which, of course. run
very smooth. Humph, said the pres
ident; we must attend to this matter
at once. Have all the old cars painted
light blue immediately.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-13

of Chica go, now permanently locate
in PIatteviile, will open his office i
Baxter building for 2 days ever
week Monday and Tuesday.
THE EYES are the principal part {
a persons head. Neglecting The
causes Headaches, Nervousness. Neu
algia, Sleeplessness and Tearing of tt
eye. 1t may be that your eyes beiL
affected or strained are the causes {
your troubles. Thousands of sufferer
are neglecting their eyes daily, the
little think that they are injurir
themselves bodily as well as the
eyes. The modern method of examn
ing and correcting the eyes has bent
fitted hundreds of people every de
by DR.. EDWARD WILLARD.
Cross (Squint) Eye can be straightel
ed without the use of any surgical il
strument, Your eyes no matter whs
ais them should be examined by on
WHO understands how, and is confdeI
that he can relieve you of all yoU
troubles of the eye. Ifyou are trouble
with your eyes. don't hesitate, but ca
lat once.
Special attention paid to children.
Do not neglect this opportunity
delay is dangerous.
Glasses are advised only when nee,
ed.
Eyes examined free.
%. Office at Baxter buildings
Hours 9 a. N. 10 6 .. N.
Special attention given to order
that have failed. Don't forget the dai
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-13

innocent WONDER. III she was COrn0roQ
at last she at least was going to enjoy
watching him struggle.
The young man put his other foot
on the floor and crossed the other
knee. He coughed to gain time.
why, if you don't know dont!" he
said, with a strained laugh Maybe
you don't feel about it as l dol"
The pretty young woman gazed at
him in concern, which would have de-
ceived a wiser person than himself.
''But / haven't the remotest idea how
you feel" she said. sYou seem well.
Still, the cough does seem to trouble
you"
The young man coughed again in
sheer evaporation. Il never was bet
ter in my life" he said shortly. What
1 mean is-what l am trying to say"
isn't it dreadful sympathized the
young woman, ito know what one
wants to say and not be able to find
the right word! / do that so often
myself 1t always comes to me later
on though-does it with your"
The young man looked angry.
We've known each other nearly
year, haven't WEI" he began with
nervous ease. "It-it seems longer"
The young woman sighed. 'I'm sor-
ry that knowing me has bored you
So" she murmured, regretfully. IF
only had guessed it-still, you didn't
have to come here unless you wanted
to, did you? Why"
81 did--it HASN'T" Indignantly ejac-
ulated the young man. II must be
very stupid this evening, Cora. Some
how / can't manage to express my
meaning at all. What | am trying to
get at is to ask whether you like me
or not. Sometimes / don't believe it
would make any difference to you if
| never came near you again"
'You hurt my feelings dreadfully
when you talk that way, Jimmie, :"
} said the young woman. And l thought
we were such good friends! My good
ness, of course l like you Really, I'm
| quite fond Of you. Why, | shouldn't
waste time talking to you if you bored
me. | count you and Alison and Tom
and Howard as the cleverest crowd
| Of"
The young man groaned with bit
terness. That's just it," he said. Il
don't want to be punched! That's
what l object to. You class. me in
with those fellows and"
4 am sure said the young woman
with dignity while she smothered a
laugh in her handkerchief, that you
ought to be very glad to be classed
with them They are perfectly splen-
did. l never before thought you were
as conceited as that"
The young man looked miserable
enough to melt harder heart than
hers. "Of course they are splendid,
he said hastily That wasn't what
| meant. / only wish l could come up
to them instead of feeling superior,
as you seem to think l do"
ooh" said the young woman. Il
seem to misunderstood you, don't ~
Il should say you did" said the
young man violently. He swallowed
hard. Now. see here, Cora" he went
on, speaking of understanding, dc
you understand that for the last half
hour I've been trying to ask you to
marry me?"
The dimples spread over her face
and for the first time the young WON
an looked fairly at him.
Jimmie" she said in a last burst
of sarcasm, which failed to touch the
young man, "how could l ever have
dreamed of such a thing? But now
you've started, go on and finish! =
Chicago Daily News.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-13

If you will make inquiry it will be a
revelation to you how many succumb
to kidney or bladder troubles in one
form or another. If the patient is
not beyond medical aid. Foley's Kid
ney Cure will cure. 1t never disa-
ppoints. ]. T. Bennett.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-13
was her candy boy for sure.

Just then something snapped and
the machine started for Portland,
Maine, on the basis of mile in eight
seconds.
Clara Jane grabbed me around the
neck and l grabbed the lever.
THE eccentric has buckled the
thingamajig!" I yelled, pushing the
lever over to stop the carryall.
The thing gave me the horse laugh,
jumped over a telegraph pole, bit its
way through a barb-wire fence and
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-13
Notice to Settle.
All accounts due the firm of Reed
q Carter must be settled at once
with DR.. J. H. Reed.

Tobacco in Tasmania and Japan.
In Tasmania no person under 13
years Of age is allowed to smoke in a
public place. Nearly everybody
smokes in Japan, the girls begin when
they are ten years of age, and the
boys a year earlier.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-13
Where Did. He Get LID

The late DR.. Reinhold, in one of his
books, tells of a German, suffering
from dropsy-in German called ''Was-
sersucht" or water disease-who ex-
claimed: Where did l get it? I
haven't tasted water for 80 years."
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-13
QUALITIES of the Animals.

Anger is shown By all animals, as
are also hate and fear. Gratitude and
affection is shown by every one of the
higher forms of animal creatures.
Memory is shown by all well-devel
oped animals.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-13

FOR SALE or Rent: farm consist
ing Of l20 acres, Located IL miles west
of Ellenboro in Sections 3O-31; good
running water and schoolhouse close
by, Dist. No. 1. Call on or address.
AUGUST SENFTLABEN, Ellenboro, Wis.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-13

Your brain goes on a strike when
you overload your stomach; both
needed blood to do bushes. Nutrition
is what you want, and it comes by
taking HOLSTERS Rocky Mountain
Tea. 80 cents, Tea or Tablets.
j. T. Bennett
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-13
The Last Straw.

Automobiles are to be substituted
for camels in traversing the great
deserts, says the Kansas City Jour
nal. The camels only remaining field
of usefulness is the glittering circus
pageant.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-07-13
Where He Got IL.

"Phwere did yez git tn black eye?"
Fell on me back"
Eyer eyes not in yer back"
"Nayther was tn brick Kelly threw"
Cleveland Leader.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-12-31
MARION WOMAN
LOSES Her POODLE
Animal Escapes From the
Baggage Car
Arriving in Columbus Mrs. J. H.
Bishop of this City Cannot
Find her Dog.

A liberal reward has been offered
by Mrs. j. II. Bishop, wife of an
employe of the Adams Express COM
pany at Marion, for the return OF her
dog, lost from a Hooking Valley train,
which arrived in the city about 1l:SO
o'clock Monday morning.
When Mrs. Bishop started from
her home in Marion, Monday morn
ing. to visit relatives in Columbus,
she had her little French poodle
placed carefully in the baggage car.
Upon arrival in the city there was
no dog to be found.
Mrs. Bishop frantically sent the
word along the line to be on the
'outlook for her lost pet and went to
the home of her relatives to await
tidings. The dog had been in the
family for IA years. It is supposed
that the animal escaped at Powell. -
Ohio Sun.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-12-31
SCOTCH UNIVERSITIES.
Taking a Prominent Part In Develop
ment Of British Nation.

The prince of Wales's visit to Glas.
gov to inaugurate the university ex'
tension buildings once more appro.
priately emphasizes the important
part which Scottish universities are
taking in the development of the ma.
tional life. This Is the second en-
largement which Glasgow has been
compelled to make within half cen.
tur, The university, too. has behind
1t quite venerable air OF antiquity
as well as the hallmark Of modern
utility. Its foundation dates back four
centuries and half, and, like, all the
Scottish universities except Edin.
burgh, which is a post-reformation
royal foundation, II owes its. existence
to ancient ecclesiastical authority. In
point of age. however, Glasgow holds
only second place in Scotland's hon.
orable academic record. Aberdeen
following is a good third. Edinburgh
came into being about a century later.
But the Oldest of the Scottish univer.
stiles is two centuries younger than
Cambridge AS for Oxford, her aca.
demic beginnings are quite lost in the
haze of Anglo-Saxon antiquity. The
town was known as seat of learning
in the year S02.--London Globe.