The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1907-05-02

Tourist-Are we not near the falls
Guide-Quite near; as soon as the la
dies stop talking you VIII hear the
lroar.-Wiener Caricaturen.
Prison Chaplain preaching on Sun
day In the prison chapeD-I am so de
lighted, my dear brethren, to see you
assembled here in such goodly number
Figaro.
Principal Ito applicant for post OF
correspondent For my business you
will require a wide knowledge of Ian
guages. In which language can you not
write Figaro.
Farmers Wife-Why have you left
that piece of steak | sent out for you ?
Tramp Indignantly IL didn't ask for
work, ma am; l asked for something
to eat.-Illustrated Bits
Englishman (whose dog has fallen
overboard) Stop, Captain, stop! Cap
tain-I can't do 1t. | can't stop for
anything short of man. Englishman
Dumping overheard We'll, then, stop
now i-Floh.
Mrs. Hunks-I wish you wouldn't be
so positive. There are two sides to ev-
cry question. Old Hunks with a roar)
We'll, that's no reason why you
should always be on the wrong side =
Chicago Tribune.
Doctor-The increasing deafness of
your wife is merely an indication OF
advancing years, and you can tell her
that. Husband-Hum Would you
mind telling her that yourself, doctor?
.Weiner Salonwitzblatt.
Boarder (warmly oh, | know ev-
cry one of the tricks of your trade.
Do you think have lived in boarding
houses twenty years for nothing?
(frigidly)-I shouldn't be at
all surprised.-New Yorker.
Her Query.-Agent-I have a book
you should buy for your son, telling
how to become politician, statesman,
President of the United States, banker,
Mrs. Hennesy-G'wan did
yer mother buy wan for you?
ne?" asked the physician, reaching for
lis hat. "He didn't mention your name,
tut he's screaming for some one that'll |
,ut him out of his misery and thought
" you right way"-Houston Post
Mania-I can't think why your Sec
md concert didn't go: the first was so
rowded Dora-That's just it. We
ent tickets to all our friends for the
irst concert, and hadn't even acquaint-
noes left for the second one.-SlOvo.
She-Did you enjoy the opera last
light, Herr Schwarz? He-No; 1
ouldn't hear anything. She-Why not?
ladies sat in front of me and
battered the whole evening about how
luch they loved music.-Klelner Witt
latt.
Elderly Lady (to workman who has
N, thank you very much. Workman
oh, that's nothing at all, Miss. Many
len only get up when the lady is pref
:, but it never makes any difference
me.-Die Muskete.
His mother tucked 4-year-old Johnny
way in the top berth of the sleeping :
If. Hearing him stirring in the mid I
e of the night, she called softly /
do you know where you are?"
Tourse l do" he returned sturdily.
m In the top drawer."-Youth's Com
inion. Q
Manners.-Jimmy had come to school Q
it'll dirty hands, says writer in New
)rk World. His teacher was shocked.
annie" she said, reprovingly, your :
nds are very dirty. What would you
Y if 1 came to school that way Il
,uldn't speak about it, said Jimmy
d be too polite
Natrrally.-The elderly lady who
is looking through the shop of
aler III knicknacks picked up a small
ndbag. Are you sure" she in
ired, that this is real crocodile
n?" Absolutely certain, madam"
Ilied the dealer; 81 shot the croco- b
e myself" at looks rather soiled,"
served his customer. Naturally,
dam" explained the salesman; that
where it struck the ground when it II
nbled off the tree"
easily Americanized.-The was
lie Irish boy named Patsy, who
ne to the United States with his
lilly. One morning his teacher in the
bic school asked him: "Who was
first man, Patsy George Wash
ton" was the prompt reply. "Oh.
> said the teacher; George Wash 81
ton was the father of his country, -
Adam was the first man." Well" -
bonded Patsy, 4 didn't know We wor I