davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24

There is also the same old talk about
shearing Uncle Joe cannon of his DOW
er by en1arging the house committee on
rules. Some time in the dim future
this may be done. but it is feared that
there are still too many rabbits in con-
gress to accomplish 1t now.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24
WHERE THE GUM IS.

The American people spend $4,000
900 annually for chewing gum. Nc
wonder there is a wad stuck to the bot
tom of nearly every chair in the land
Chicago Record-Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24

Although a good many Kansas poll
ticians are all up in the air regarding
III direct primary question, it is nor
believed they are taking part in any
balloon race
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24

Another ridiculous notion is the
Idea that county commissioners ana
other tax levying bodies will increase
the K four-fold the coming year,
just because the maximum limit set
by law will ALLOW it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24

Another good thing about balloon
racing is that there is no danger thai
some racer will run off the track and
kill himself and several innocent by
and
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24

With wheat soaring the way it is
and making plutocrats of the farmers,
isn't there danger that the farmers
trust will carry things Too Far?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24
HARTMAN

Hartman orders to cut ex
penses." Hartman is the most costl!
item they carry. Why not begin b.
cutting him out ?-New York World.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24
A DRY DISTRICT

An effort will be mad this winter to
add the District of Columbia to the
prohibition pyramid. 1t may be tina,
future members of congress will have
to get along with a canteen.-St. Louis
Globe-DemOcrat.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24

Now that the farmers national con-
gress also has gone on record as op-
posed to the free seed graft, what ex-
cuse can the congressman have for
keeping up this senseless idea?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24

Is a law not a law? When
corporation tells a federal court it =
unconstitutional, of course.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24
STANDS CLOSE.

Of course, Wal street stands by the
country" That's the best way to get
its hand in the country's pocket.-At-
lanta Constitution.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24

A 15 cent restaurant ought to do
goo business in the vicinity of Wa
street this winter.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24
a MILLIoN FOR A GENT.

The thing that goes the farthest towards
making life worth while,
That costs the least and does the most is
just a pleasant smile.
It's full of worth and goodness. too. with
hearty kindness blent.
its worth a million dollars and doesn't
eost q cent. Exchange.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24
THIRTY CENTS

THESE revelations OF the magnitude
of Standard Oil profits make thai
twenty-nine-million-dollar fine look
like hardly more than three-fifths OF
half a dollar.-Providence Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24
NATURE FAKER.

The king of nature takers is the mar
who raises for the market Long Island
ducklings, Rhode Island geese, Phila-
delphia squads and Jersey chickens on
the same Illinois farm.-Chicago Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24

+. Aug. Heinze isn't the pickle man
but 1T looks as though he is in a pickle
81 different varieties of them,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24

The Is q suspicion in financial cir
cles that the Standard Oil crowd is
not especially sorry to see the present
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24

Now h a the president has rested
up, let the nature faker and the
octopus beware.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24

Hetty Green says she is glad Gladys
vanderbilt isn't her daughter, and
quite likely Gladys is glad also.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24

Monday was Blue Monday in Wal
street, all right, but Tuesday was
bluer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24
GOOD GHOSTS.

out to contain a swarm of bees, which
had $50 pounds of honey laid up for
the owner. P~sychical researches do
not always turn out so well as that
New York Evening Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24

what's the use of knowing anything
about ones business? ook how the
Standard Oil magnates have succeed
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24
Unnecessary.

Magistrate Corrigan of New York
recently advised a detective to use
short words in his testimony-"said
yes instead of 'assented," went
instead of proceeded" and so forth.
Long, unusual words, except in
scientific writings, are unnecessary"
said the well-known magistrate to a
reporter the other day. "They are
as unnecessary, and they spoil the eff
feet, as-as-but I'll tell o a story.
"a lecturer was describing the sea.
He told of the seas size, its power, its
inhabitants. Then he said in impress
sive tones:
""There are depths In the sea
wherein the Hottest mountain ranges
could be easily hide from view
"a solemn man in black rose at this
point.
"I desire to ask one question: he
said pompously. 49,,
livery WELL sal the lecturer, with
a gracious nod.
"tI wish to know said the solemn
man, how you will move the
ranges"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24

Very likely Mr.. Hartman thinks
~Stuyvesant Fish and the or
the White House are in league against
him
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24

Hartman hurried East Monday and
got there just in time to see the crash.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24

does not appear to be ex-
actly pacifed, after all.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. EICHr

rlGI11-
Now that the baseball championship
is settled, the Burton-Johnson contest
for mayor of Cleveland may assume
national Importance. Philadelphia
Inquirer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24
IT'S TRUE.

terms republican" and demo
crat" are getting rather hazy.-Cleve.
land Plain Dealer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

They fly high down at St. Louis.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24
THE COST OF LIVING.
FL

There are a great many funny things
happening, one OF which is to see a
fellow who has escaped from a farm,
sit down in his swivel chair in a lux
uriously furnished. office and putting a
ten cent Havana cigar, write an edi-
torial advising boys to stay on the
farm.-Holton Recorder.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24

she-My husband won't listen to reasoI
He-He ought to be ashamed of himsel
1t isn't every married man that has II
chance.-London Opinion.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24
The Whirling Dervishes.

Those spirits upon the hunt for sen
s%ations" in ~Constantinople will wish to
take IN" the Dervishes. The Whir1ing
clan have a convenient convent on the
Grande Rue where their circumnaviga-
lions may be witnessed at 7:30 on Fri
day evening for the admission Of ten
cents. This weird performance person
ifies the solar system and is exactly or
dered in all it's phases. After preIim-
mary circuits of the ring in single file TO
the d~iscordant accompaniment of lutte
and t~aInhourire, the robed and urban
ed Dervishes commence their turning.
With arms outstretched, the right palm
upwards to beseech blessings, the left
depressed to signify mercy bestowed.
the head is bent upon the right Shout
der. The rapid revolving upon the right
heel is effected by employing the left
toes as motive power. AS the circling
accelerates, the long white skirts dilate
until hey stand out stiff after tho man
ner of the attenuated armen of the
premiere danseuse." Very little space
is allotted to each priest and it seems
strange that there are no collisions.
The dance ceases in an hour or SO with
the men exhausted.-The Travel Mag
azine.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24

Where is your automobile depart
ment?' asked the man entering the big
department store.
"Foflow your nose" replied the clerk
near the door.-Yonkers Statesman.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24

Patience-What does 1t mean by bein
married at high noon"? Do you know
Patrice-Ohi yes; it means taking a L
toll chance.-Yonkers Statesman.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24
ADVERTISING.

AL EfL11S1Nd. ~
The Ladies' Home Journal carries
more advertising than any other pub
l1catlon IN existence; a recent issue
contained &c. 800 agate lines, which is
about an average. And the Ladies'
Home Journal gets six OF sever dollars
a line. McClure's follows. Then comes
Country Life in America, E~verybody's,
Review of Reviews, Cosmopolitan,
Munseys. the D~elineator, Scribner's'
and the Century, in the order named.
OF the weeklies, the Saturday Evening
Post usually leads, although Golfers
and 6 sometimes pass it In the
volume of advertising. The New York
Independent is also a great advertising
Medium among the literary weeklies.-
Atchison Globe.
THEY CANNOT LEARN.
How long does a lesson last? In st.
Louis, where but two years ago graft
ers were hunting cover. and piteously
pleading for compromise with the law,
graft has shown up in n old place.
The records of families disgraced, rep
utations of a lifetime lost, criminal
service rendered are still fresh-but del
egates to the city council have gone the
same old route, and have been caught
at it again. Admitting that there Is no
such thing as moral perception on the
part of men who serve in city govern
ments in graft-ridden cities, there
would still be a place, it would seem,
for the element of ordinary caution.
Ottawa Herald.
PERHAPS.
The perfection of the Mississippi
river as a deep waterway is going to
knock the spots off New York city
as a commercial center. 1t will be some
time before New York will fully wake
up to the fact that there is no way
to get around this, but when it does
realize that. it is going to put all It's
energies into defeating deep water
ways appropriations, and the middle
west, which will be the chief beneficiary
of such waterways, will have to hustle
hard and hang together or New York
will defeat the acknowledgements
World.
THE COST OF LIVING.
Ewing Herbert ~recently had an article
in his Brown County World on the
subject, What it Costs to Live in a
Town. And it was a plenty.
But the thing that is disturbing most
of us is what 1t costs to live in a med
ium sized city. It's more than a
Observation-Disclosures News.
FUNNY.
There are a great many funny things
happeninz, 3, one of which is to see a
fellow who has escaped from q farm,
sit down in his swivel chair in a lux
uriously furnished. office and putting a
ten cent Havana cigar, write an edi-
torial advising boys to stay on the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24
Not Ina a Great Hu,,r


All OF the watchmen at the treasury
IN washington are veterans of the civil
war. and all of them are well advanced
IN years. Capt. Harry Cobaugh recen,-
~ pointed out an old man who passed
ms room and said to Smith FRY: "There
Is another veteran, and he is to go on
my force n of these days"
why. that old codger must be mast
90 a old. and he doesn't seem
strong" was the reply.
NO matter DOL that" replied Cant.
Cobaugh. IF he ever applies he will
pc appointed. He goes through here CIV
cry pension day, to one
pupllc. L have noticed him for a couple
OF years, n on last pension day he
told me that he had been a watchman
mere shortly after the civil war and r
him if lie expected to come hack
on the force again.
Il am thinking Of it, he answered.
and added: II I am in Washington
three years from now, 1 will mt in nv
for reinstatement as watch.
man.
He went away, and left me Wonder
ing why he wanted to wait three wears
wnen every year is bringing him so
nucn nearer to the grave. Two months
Went by, n I saw him here visiting
MS son. and L him why he wanted
70 wait three years before applying for
elIistatemen here, and he answered:
L 1--we to be a hundred years old.
II come back here. / am 81 now And
the Old fellow went away chuckrng aud
chortiing at his little joke"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24
Mansfeld's

A group of theatrical men were
talking in New York about the late
Richard Mansfield
"Mr. Mansfield" said one twas a
delightful humorist. a splendid
raconteur in society. but at the same
time he had a certain proper and be-
coming sense of his own dignity, and
it paid to be unduly familiar
with him.
"He was, as we all know. rather
hald He resented, from BARRIERS or
friends. any ~allusion to his badness.
.rWell one night at a party, a man
came uD behind this great artist.
al q him with a violent slap on
the back, and exclaimed in a loud,
via familiar voice:
"sHello, Dick. How are you? Every
time / see you, you get balder and
balder.'
Mansfield drew himself UP. He
sneered at the other.
"'HelIo,' he said. L don't know
who YOU are, but every time I see you,
you get ruder and ruder.'"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24
CroQuet Golf.


Eben NJ. Byers, Pittsburg's famous
golfer. was talking at a dinner about
d%awdling players.
Rivers said. than tt follow one of these
.dawdlers over a course. They all
should be served as a bow-legged chap
was the other day.
HE was playing at Englewood. His
NAV was as slow as it was poor. Set
ting his warped legs wide apart, he
would miss the easiest ball three or
four times handwriting. He was re-
tarding half a dozen good. brisk play
ers, but this he didn't seem to mind
at ALL
"Finally one man, having drawn
very near, lost patience, and with a
neat shot sent his ball flying directly
between the slow players bow legs.
1.-THE slow player jumped back in a
great fright. Their he yelled angrily:
"tSay, do you call hat golf?
mo said the other; but I call 1t
pretty good croQuet-'"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24
Not "CafchinD -


"A woman who was formerly a kinder
garten teacher, but who at present is
connected with a hospital in West Phil
adelphia in the capacity of nurse. tells
me Following story of an experience she
mad with one of her tots while instruct
ing q class in a small village in New
YorF: The rules of the school REQUIRE
mat when a child reports a case of ILL
ness In the family the teacher shall find
out whether such illness is
or not, and it is usually necessary to
send the pupil home for a statement of
facts. One Of my charges was a small
BOY OF whom I was very fond because
Of his unusual Intelligence for so young
a pupil. One morning I did not notice
MIN in his seat. 1 asked the other chill
dren If they knew why he was absent
I learned hat his mother was ill
abed. Later the boy himself came to
hoo and reported that his mamma
was sick but it wasn't catching. That
won't do I replied. You must go homo
and find out. then tell me Just what is
rhe matter with your mamma Pretty
soon the boy came toddling back into
the room. Teacher said he, mamma
says it's all right. She says it's aboy.'"
Philadelphia Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24

Mrs. Follansbee tells me that she is
~tudying Chaucer." said Mrs. Oldcastle.
Indeed 2" replied her hostess. "She al
ways was crazy over fancy work. Chi
cage Record-Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24

"This poet" said Tess, speaks of
'spoondrift on the bosom of the waters 1
suppose 'spoondrift' is a nautical term"
II fancy" said Jess, that ~'spoondrift'
means when you are out in a boat alone
with him and just drifting. "-Philadel-
phia Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24

us your dog blind?"
What the matter? Did he try to bit
you ?"-San Francisco Bulletin.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24

ct hear you are engaged to one Of tn
Richboy twins. How do you distinguis
one from the other?"
1T don't try."-Philadelphia Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24

Maggie-Say, Wayne. what's a mani
cure Daflor?
Mayme-Oh! that's the swell name for a
hand laundry.-Kansas City Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-10-24

She-Did you ever stop to figure ou
how many hats in a year you could blu
with the money o throw away on Ct
CARS?
Hell have, dear. I could buy about {
for myself, but only about three for YOU
Chicago Tribun
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1907-08-15
STATES MILK SUPPLY IS PURE.
Commissioner Foust Pleased With Te Of
5000 Samples Collected Recently,

About 6ooo samples of milk and
cream have been taken by the dairy
and food department during the
past thirty days at various points
throughout the State. The result
is most gratifying to Commissioner
Foust, who says it is the most re-
markable showing ever made in
Pennsylvania. The absence, he
says, of violations of the milk laws
is in marked contrast to the inspec-
ton Of four years ago when hum
dreds of prosecutions for use of pre-
servatives and the watering of milk
occurred. In the city of Philadel-
phia 9Io samples were secured and
comparatively few people were
found who used adulterations.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1907-08-15
THE COLUMBIAN, BLOOMSBURY, PA.

of the capitol and ''trimmers" ol
the capitol attic at cost of $3o3,
900 to the State.
Charles +. Kinsman and Wallis
d. Boileau, partners in Sanderson' S
Pennsylvania Bronze company,
which manufactured chandeliers
! upon which Sanderson collected
ST. 600, 900.
There are others implicated in
the capitol scandal who have not
been so prominently mentioned,
but who, it is said, will figure in
the prosecutions.
NO APOLOGY.
Ex- Governor Pennypacker's name
appears frequently in the report of
the Investigation commission, and
there is no apology for his official
acts in aid of the Capitol grafters.
With Governor Stuart and At
torney General Todd, the commits
sion and it's counsel will consider
the course to be pursued in the
scandal, in a conference to be held
in Harrisburg OH Friday. Not un
til then, however, will the exact
character of the report be made
public. From the beginning of the
commission consideration of its
duties as to the legal phase involv-
ed in the investigation there has
been a question whether the prob
ers actually ought to specify the
persons against whom the COM
monwealth should proceed. 1t has
been ascertained that counsel for
the commission, Mr.. Scarlet and
James Stranahan, as we'll as some
of the members thought it would
be proper to do so, but it is said
that the attorney general held that
he, as the States prosecutor,
should be permitted after careful
review of the evidence and the law,
to exercise that authority.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1907-08-15
NOTICE.

Notice is hereby given that the follow
ing account has been filed in the Court
of Common Pleas OF Columbia county
and will be presented to the said court
on the first Monday of September. A..
d. 1907, and confirmed nisi and unless
exceptions are filed within four days will
be confirmed absolute
First and final account of J. R. Mont
gomery, Committee of the estate of Mary
A. Pursel. lunatic.
c. M. TERWILLIGER,
Prothonotary.
Prothonotary's Office,
Bloomsbury, Pa. S-s-4t.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1907-08-15
Envelopes

$4,000 Envelopes carried in
stock at the COLUMBIAN Office.
The line includes drug envelopes,
pay, coin. baronial, commercial
sizes, number 6, 6H, on, 9, 1c
and II, catalog, &c. Prices range
from 81. so per 1000 printed, up to
$500. Largest stock in the coun-
ty to selcet from.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1907-08-15
WIDOWS APPRAISEMENTS

WIDOWS APPRAISEMENTS.
Notice is hereby given that the follow
ing Widows Appraisements will be pre-
sented to the Orphans Court of Column
bia County on Monday September ed.
1907 by the Clerk of said Court and con :
firmed nisi and unless exceptions are
fled to same within four days they will
be confirmed finally.
Estate of A. J. Derr late of the Town
ship of Greenwood deceased. Personally
100000.
Estate of David Raup, late of the
Township of Catawissa deceased. Realty
$500, 90.
Estate of James M. Shultz. late of the
Township of Sugarloaf deceased. Per.
sonalty $6s.25. Realty $234.75.
Estate of Peter Huttenstine, late of
the Township of Centre deceased.
Realty $4,000.
Estate of Jacob E. Weliver, late of
the Borough of Berwick deceased. Per-
sona'ty $780, 90.
Estate of A. d. Good late of the
Borough of Benton deceased. Person
atty $50 o9.
Estate of Patrick McHae late of the
Township of Conyngham deceased.
Realty $4,000.
c. M. TERwILIIGER,
Clerks Office, Clerk O. &.
Bloomsbury, Pa, Aug. I4th, 1907.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1907-08-15
DR.. David KENNEDY'S
FAv0RITE REMEDY

and from that moment began to gain, and
1t was not long before was entirely cured
and have had no return Of the trouble since.
My weight has increased and l never was 80
we'll as l am now. l have recommended
DR.. Kennedy's Favorite Remedy to many
people, for it saved my life."
Write TO Dr. David Kennedys Sons, Rondout, N.
Y, for free sample bottle of DIR. David Kennedy'a
Fsvorite Remedy, the great Kidney, Liver and Blood
medicine. Large bottles ti.0o. All druggists.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1907-08-15
FOR AGENTS-AN OPPORTUNITY !
1.-THE OLD WORLD
AND ITS WAYS"
William Jennings Bryan

Hky" NOW READY FOR SOLICITORS.
s76 Imperial Octave Pages. Over 200
Superb Engravings from photo.
graphs taken by Mr.. Bryan.
Recounts his trip around the world
and his visits to all nations. The great
est book of travel ever written. The
people are waiting for it. The agents
harvest. Outfit FREE. Send fifty cents
to cover mailing and handling
The Thompson Publishing Co., St. Louis, Mo.
8-s-3t.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1907-07-19
ATHENA. ORE. JULY 1e..... 1907
If you can invent some way to gel

If you can invent some way to get
rid of rats the United States Govern
ment stands ready to give you a for
tune. No other patent will pay you
so we'll. Many have tried it on small
scale, but all have failed. ''Rough Oh
Rats" did some good in localities, but
the danger was its poisoning other
things besides the animals aimed at.
The thousand and one ingenious traps
invented from time to time have
caught thousands of the vermin. but
they could hardly be missed from the
grand aggregation. The terriers, the
cats, the small boy with his dog did
something to reduce the supply, but
apparently as many rats as ever remain
to vex humanity. What is needed is
general exterminator, wholesale
destruction, and thus far it has not
been Forthcoming. The department
of Agriculture is much concerned on
the subject and declares that an infal-
lible method of exterminating these
rodents would be worth more to the
people of this country In a single dec-
ade than the department has cost since
it's ablishment. The farmer has no
worse enemy than the common brown
rat. All the birds and beasts of prey
put together do not do the damage in
fiicted by this pestilential pest the
long-tailed, sharp -toothed, bewhisker-
cd nuisance of the barn, the granary
and the poultry-yard.