The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1907-10-10
hA1ES701ESIlFY
AFFINITY FINDER GOT
HIM A NICE GIRL

Chicago. Oct. TT never hAdSsno
dee OF appearing as a witness af0regth0
grand jury agin Miss Marion Grey,ok
Elgin-Cupid's agent. she called her
self--but the government called mo To
Chicago and I was bound TO come.
1.-THE truth il / amt got nothin' agifl
Miss Grey. She beat me outen S. In
her Search Light Matrimonial hure0n,e
al, right. And T8ain't exactly, A. yOU
might say. forgave her for sending
photograph OF g city dude Ter me 70
my intended. But It's all right nov.
Fer, y see. 1t wal through her that
I found the gal for me. I amt never
seen her yit, but she's agreed to marry
me and we're goln' to git hitched ~
socrs as corn huskin's over.
William Cradle. IS. OF Dearbyn, Mo,
pulled q home made twist from the
pockets Of his jean trousers and took
. generous chew as he lounged In the
corridor OF the federal building, wait
Ding to be called AZ q witness againnt
Miss Grey, the Under OF af1nltiaa..e
He Is still awaiting the call.
Not Affinity Gal.
!, Though he admitted Miss Grey had
swindled him In sending fake, pic
lures. he looked upon her In the light
OF . benefactor. Tor she had brought
Goforth, &c.. of C~orsicana, Tex. The
iMissourtan has forty acres and tom
children back home In Pike county.
do you regard Miss Ida Goforth OF
C~orsicana. Tex, as your afinity?. no
vas asked.
Il don't understand all these hero
new tangled Chicago terms. he an
swered, but eft you mean IL she my
gal, I don't mind saying that she shore
Is. / amt ashamed to tell that here In
Chicago: for y done told y all over
Mostly Dscoilste.
After getting his SIS Miss Grey de-
clared Mr.. Cradle a full f1edged MEM
Der OF the Search Light Matrimonial
club and sent him what purported to
be Miss Goforth's photograph. It was
the picture OF an actress running large
~ to Marcel wave n decollete cor-
sage. MT. Cradle began a correspond
n c with the affinity that Cupid,s
agent had selected for him, ana In
time received a photograph OF the
real Miss Goforth.
1T wnrn't nothin' at all like that
actress party" declared Mr.. Cradle.
1T was a picter Of a fat woman with
corkscrew curls. She was shore purity.
/ knowed as soon as / sot eyes on the
,picter she war the gal fer me. She's
pore, too. / don't want no rich wom-
an. I got enough money myself to
keep q wife comfortable, N that's all
/ want"
Hostile to Leanness.
D 0 prefer a fat or a lean ATTN
lty?" Mr.. Cradle was asked.
II like a fat gal" he declared en-
phatically. I'm lean myself and / hate
the sight about the house OF a woman
that's nothin' but skin and bones.'
II went to see a fortune teller as
soon as | struck Chicago he contin-
ued. He called himself ST. John he
Twelfth. He sartinly told me some
amazin' things. Why he even told me
of a near and dear relative that was
killed by a mule around corn plantin'
time last spring. The way that mule
kicked my dear relative and drug him
around a ten-acre lot was scandalous.
Bay Mules in Action.
But h best thing st. John this
Twelfth told me was that was a-goin,
TO get spliced to Miss Ida Goforth OF
Corsicana, Tex. He says, says he.
You air a-goin' to marry a stout,
blonde, middle aged lady DO you
suppose says !, that can be Miss Ida
Goforth of Corsicana. Tex?' That's her
name says ST. John, and he goes Off
into a sorter trance and spells 1t out
fer me. I'm goin' to hitch up my span
o. bay mules as soon as I git home
and drive down to Texas and git that
GAL"