The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1907-01-25
kidnapped the
Wrong Person

souri,, thus encouraged, according 10
the way they tell It up at Sitka, there
we're two Eskimo villages somewhere
above the circle, but not very far apart,
and for some reason or other that
doesn't figure in the tale, these two VII
lages were not on speaking terms with
each other In fact, there was a sort
OF N east Kentucky feud on between
them, and whenever man from one
village met a man from the other there
was some kind OF trouble between
them. | don't know whether II was
a battle with snowballs or a blubber-
eating contest, but anyhow II nearly
always ended fatally for somebody,
maybe an innocent bystander. Well. in
one OF these villages there was a beau
teous maiden. Now, gentlemen, you
understand am simply repeating what
they told me up there. and they didn't
crack a smile when they said IT, There
was a beauteous maiden in one. and In
the other there was a young man who
could outrun, outspear or lick any 9th
er man in that section OF the ice box,
according to claims of his fellow-citi-
zens, and, OF course, they set great
store by him. This here mighty man
OF valOr was scootin' around one day,
when he happened 10 meet the beaute-
GUS maiden aforesaid, who had mad
vertently strayed from her parents
Christmas castle. The result was the
same as usual. The Eskimo man was
smitten sore and the Eskimo maid was
clean gone on him before the aurora
borealis could give warning. Well. %
young feller made all kinds Of over
lures 10 the girls pa; offered him wal
rus tusks and husky dogs. and the Lord
only knows what else, for the young
woman. but the old man laughed him
to scorn. Then the youngster played
what he thought was a winning card
rolled in a barrel of Standard oil,
enough to feed the family all winter,
and offered TO swap even. This stag
gered the stern parent and he came
pretty near maxim n deal, but the
nelghbors butted in about that time and
the whole party chased the lover ont OF
the city limits. He went back home,
swearIn', by jiggers, he'd have that
maiden II he got his feet wet in the at
tempt, and that, they say, is a terrible
oath 70. an Eskimo.
well, after considerable hggerin
and nosln' around he decided the only
way to get her was to sneak in at
night. or when they was all asleep, and
carry her OF by force. Now, according
to what they told me up there, these
Eskimos don't sleep in feather beds like
civilized people, but they crawl into
bags. pull the draw string tight over
their heads and snOoze until the alarm
clock rings. Young Loohnivar he puts
out irom town along about ten o'clock
in the evening. accordin' to our reck-
onin'. and, after trampin' miles over
| the ice, clmbin' a mOunain, slidin'
down a glacier and crOssin' great
chasm on a log, he reaches the land OF
the foe and the home OF the girl. He
| bribes the night watchman with a bot
/ tie Of hair oil and then slips into the
snow palace OF the obdurate sire OF
course. the whole family was sleepin'
in the reception hall. That's a way
| the EskimOs have, they told me mp
there. They say It's warmer and more
sociable. But when they're all sleepin
i'm sacks and the Illumination IS poor
this oongregatin' together adds to the
| difficulties OF making n selection. But
| IOchnivar didn't hesitate Could his
heart be mistaken about which sack
contained his beloved? Gosh No. He
picked I'D the likeliest bundle. threw II
over his shoulder and hiked for tn'
suburbs. II was a pretty hefty package
and there was evidently some objec-
tions from the inside OF Il, but oul
hero toiled steadily homeward. II was
a risky Job 10 skin across that chasu
on a slippery log with such a load, bu
he did II, and he climbed the glacier
and he scaled the mountains. Ions
about gettin' up time he staggered Int
his own village and up to his own but
tired ont. but safe and victorious. Now
by jiggers, the beauteous maiden wa
in his possession. Now he would feas
his eyes upon her shining countenance
Now for one long, fond embrace
Trembling with impatience, he tor
open the sack.
Gentlemen" said the Mlssourian, a
he paused 10 rellght his cigar, IF wha
they told me up there is true, the shocl
must have been terrible"
We'll. don't keep US In suspense
exclaimed the red-headed man, "wha
was in the sack?"
The Mlssourian blew three smok
rings and then calmly replied:
tsrrt- A..-t ,r,~ vs,frf a bon II Ung IN