davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-05-28
Language of Umbrellas.

There is u language of umbrellas as
of flowers. For instance, place your
umbrella in rack and it will often in
dictate that it will change owners.
To open it quickly in the street means
that somebody's eye is going to be in
danger
To shut it quickly signifies that hat
or two will probably be knocked off.
An umbrella carried over a woman,
the man getting nothing but the drip
pings Of the rain, signifies courtship.
When a man has the umbrella and
the woman the drippings it indicates
marriage.
To swing your umbrella over your
shoulder signifies Il am making a nuis-
ance of myself
To put an alpaca umbrella by the
side of silk one signifies Exchange
is no robbery
To lend an umbrella indicates 81 am
a fool
10 return an umbrella means-well,
never mind what it means Nobody
ever does that.-Spare Moments.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-05-28

The title of admiral was not used
in England in the earlier days. In fact,
the better opinion Is that 1t was not so
used before the beginning of the four
teenth century. He was called capt.
taneus maris Captain of the seal,
keeper of the seacoasts," captain of
the kings mariners" The title "ad-
miraP' or "amiral,' probably derived
from the Arabic amir or emir prefect,
was used in foreign countries much
earlier than In England and came from
France. Prynne "Animadversions,"
page 1860 states that there were ad-
mirals and an admiralty court in Eng
land as early as the time of Henry l.,
derived from our ancient Saxon kings
Alfred, Edgar, Ethelred and others who
had the dominion of the British ocean.
None of these kings probably was
more potent than King Edgar, who,
possessing an absolute dominion of the
neighboring sea, sailed round about it
every year and secured 1t with a con-
slant guard. These ships, being very
stout ones, were in number 1900.
Some writers even affirm that there
were 1890 sailing ships.-London Nau-
teal Magazine.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-05-28
CITRIc ACID.
The Way the Secret of Its Manufae.
ture Was Stolen.

The Way the Secret of Its Manufae.
ture Was Stolen.
The proprietor Of an old chemists
shop, close by Temple Bar, in days
gone by enjoyed the monopoly of max.
Ing citric acid. More hvorably cir
cumstanced than other secret manufac.
turers. his was a process that required
no assistance. He employed no work
men. Experts came to sample and as
sort and bottle his products, but they
never entered the laboratory. The
mystic operations by which he grew
rich were confined to himself. One
day, having locked the doors and
drawn the window blinds as usual,
sure Of the safety of his secret, the
chemist went home to his dinner. A
chimney sweep, or boy disguised as
such, wide awake In chemistry, was on
the watch and followed the secret
keeper to Charing Cross, and, sure that
he would not return that day, the sooty
philosopher hied rapidly back to Tenn
pie Bar, assembled the low building,
dropped down the fue, saw all he
wanted to and returned. carrying with
him the mystery of making citric acid.
The monopoly of the inventor was
gone few months after, and the price
was reduced by four fifths. The poor
man was heartbroken and died shortly
afterward, ignorant of the trick by
which he had been victimized.-London
SnarQ MOmantS
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-05-28
The Einhtinn Lemn,inn

If the jennings powers were pro-
portioned to his pluck, the lemming
would make things lively for the
hunter. 1t attacks with reckless fury
the harmless passerby. One of these
creatures, smaller than a rat, will as
sail without second thought couple
of human beings weighing 100 pounds
apiece. 1t will spring to ones knees,
barking and biting, and in purblind
fury fall back 'all ends up to the
earth, only to renew the attack again
and again. One day while one lem
ming was flying at me another from
beyond small stream joined in the
demonstration and presently swan
across to get to close quarters. / was
not quite sure that the first fall into
the water was not accidental, but
hardly think so, since once there ii
came straight to the charge-"Wild
Norway
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-05-28
lmpaIed on a Buffalo,

Many years ago son of an Iroquois
halfbreed went out one day with other
Indians to run buffaloes along the Red
river, but he never returned. They
found his horse and his gun and knife,
but could not find the man. About a
year later, as the Indians were hunt
ing In another part of the country, a
buffalo COW was seen which had some
thing peculiar on her head. They
chased and killed her and found that
her singular head ornament was the
pelvis of man, one of her horns hav-
ing pierced the thin part Of the bone,
which was wedged on so tightly that
they could scarcely get it of. Much
of the hair on the head, neck and
shoulders Of the COW was worn off
short, and on the side on which the
bone was the hair looked new, as If
1t had been worn off the skin and was
beginning to grow out again. 1t is
supposed that this bone was part CT
the missing halfbreed, who had been
hooked by the COW and carried about
on her head until his body fell to
pieces.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-05-28
Funny RebeIIions.

A rebellion in China, as a rule, is a
comparatively harmless affair, says the
Times of India. The people inform
the governor that his exactions are in
excess of custom and that he must re-
duce them. If he agrees the matter
ends. If not, there is a demonstration
and perhaps some shooting, bat this is
only preliminary to a compromise, for
the Picking government never backs up
its officials when force has to be resort
ed to, and the people have far too
much respect for authority to push any
successes to extremes The troops
boast of the numbers of the enemy
they have killed. but the fighting does
not often amount to very much A
typical story is told of the taotai of a
city which shall be nameless who
claimed to have put down a rebellion,
but explained when pressed for par
ticulars that it had not been necessary
to fight since by happy inspiration he
had shaken out a tiger skin, which had
so frightened the Insurgents that they
had all run away.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-05-28

double dyed feminine conspirat0r, bu,
l couldn't resist the temptation of call
Ing you up and telling you that you are
an idiot.
Don't get huffy! I've just cause for
complaint. Did you know that Eliza
beth has been too i'll to go to her office
for over a month?
Il thought you didn't The doctor
told me privately that he didn't believe
she would stand the winter unless she
could be induced to go south. No
hush-don't say word to me. I'm not
going back to the fat for two hours,
and she is really too Ill to be left alone.
If anything happens to her while I'm
away, it will be your fault. l left the
key under the hall mat near our door.
Before l ring off, I'll tell you l found
your picture under her pillow when |
was fixing her bed this morning. left
the bed unfixed, and she doesn't dream
l saw it. So you see why you are an
idiot. Goodbye
When Elizabeth heard the key In the
door half an hour later, she spoke
without turning her head.
you've tried nearly every brand of
patent medicine on the market, Fran
ces. l only hope this one will not be
bitter to take"
$50 do r. Jimmy put chair in
front of her and sat down as calmly as
If he had only been out of the room
fifteen minutes.
She started to rise from her chair,
but fell back from weakness.
you've come backr' she said family.
''Fve come back to make you take
the doctors prescription" he said bold
ly, thinking of the picture under the
pillow. you need managing, Eliza
beth, and I'm going to see what l can
do in that line. You are going to start
to Florida tomorrow afternoon, and
I'm going with you to keep off the alli-
gators and things"
But you can'tw she gasped, her face
flushing, her eyes fixed upon his in q
dazed fascination.
II can do all manner of unexpected
things" he said, taking both her hands;
for instance. I'm going to marry you
at o'clock tomorrow afternoon"
He looked at her triumphantly, felt
the nervous grip Of her fingers, but
never relaxed his gaze.
The color wavered over her face and
finally covered the wanness that had
startled him when he first saw her.
Jimmy. l wouldn't be the least bit
angry now if''- she commenced In a
whisper, and Jimmy's intelligence was
entirely comprehensive.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-05-28

to study the very peculiar language OF
its people, and l expect to be gone
year or more. Miss Jackson, If |
have been of the slightest service to
you | am extremely pleased. Mrs.
Harper, you have made my calls very
pleasant and agreeable, and thank
YOU"
AS he bowed his way out he was fol-
lowed by Tom Blynn, whose face wore
very determined look. Jimmie Slip
ped his arm through the others, and
when they were hidden by the shrub
berry he squared off and said:
well, | am caught with the goods
on"
Eyes, you got my watch a month
ago on a Twenty-third street car. 1
had my hands on you, but you got
away"
Here is the ticker. 1t cost me So to
have it cleaned and put in good run
ming order. hope you have not been
greatly Inconvenience"
What are you doing here at Mrs.
Harpers?'
Recalling old times, when l was a
gentleman. | seldom get a chance to
do it. Professor Nordenfelt of Column
bla college isn't so bad, is it? Sounds
much more genteel than Jimmy the
Kid"
rs this to be your last call hereT
Positively the last, and l see no rea-
son why you should give me away Let
it go as it Is. I've been a gentleman
again for few days, and / don't be-
lieve the women in there would thank
you for showing me up"
Professor, l bid you godspeed on
Sour way to Samalong," replied Tom
as he raised his hat and extended his
nand and thus they parted.
At the house the two women were
very curious and asked many ques-
lions, but Tom would not give them
nucn information beyond saying that
it was just as well that the professor
was going away. An hour later, after
she had had time to think things over,
Mrs. Harper felt that she had got pref
ty near the truth, but she sighed as
she said to Miss Irene:
Poor professor! He was such an
entertaining gentleman
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-05-28
COUNTERFEIT COIN.
The Way Uncle Sans officials Treat
Spurious Money,


Sometimes it doesn't pay to be con-
scientious," said the man who had
scruple, but lost it. zone day found
a half dollar in my pocket don't
know how it got there-which didn't
have sterling written. on it. Said
to myself philosophically: Uncle Sam
is scrupulous fellow. He doesn't like
bad money In particular So be has
established a subtreasury where he ex.
changes bad money for good money
l don't know why thought this.
suppose 1 must have read 1t some
where.
When l had finished speaking, I
found myself looking into the weather
beaten face of Washington on the
steps of the subtreasury. So / enter
ed. Behind a cage l found a clerk.
Here is a half dollar l think is bad.
Please give me a good one for it."
said meekly. The clerk took the coin.
carefully placed it on a die and
brought a mallet down on 1t with
resounding blow. Then he tossed the
coin back to me and continued to
count pennies. 1 looked at my coin
and swore then and there 1 would
never be so conscientious again. The
face of liberty was battered into big
&C. which plainly meant counterfeit
New York Times.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-05-28
What |. a. Eirsproof RulIdina :


In defining what fireproof building
is one should remember that build
ing that Is of noncombustible materials
is not necessarily freproof; that a
building that is Of fireproof materials,
but not of freproof design, is not nee
essarlly fireproof; that building that
Is not of fireproof construction and de-
sign, except in part, is not fireproof,
and that a building that is strictly and
thoroughly fireproof, but filed with
combustible contents, may have a de-
structive fire in 1t, but the building
itself will not be wrecked or destroy
ed. Correct design means the proper
application of incombustible, nondam-
ageable materials and the arrange
ment of the parts of the building int
such units that only small proportion
Of the contents can be destroyed by
metropolitan Magazine.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-05-28
What Makes the SKY RIu..

1t is the atmosphere that makes the
sky look blue and the moon yellow. II
we could ascend to an elevation Of
fifty miles above the earth's surface,
we should see that the moon is bril-
liant white, while the sky would be
black, with the stars shining as bright
ly in the daytime as at night Further
more, as a most picturesque feature of
the spectacle, we should take notice
that some of the stars are red, others
blue, yet others violet, and still others
green in color OF course all of the
stars Off we bar the planets Of our own
SYSTEM are burning suns, and the
hues they wear depend upon their tenn
perature.-ReadeT Magazine.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-05-28
The Adaptability
Of Jimmy.
By Troy Allison.
Copyright, 1907. by G. H. sutcliffe.
By Troy Allison.

''Pve waited for him long enough. l
found gray hair today" Elizabeth's
voice was a comical reproduction of
grief
Jim Hartley interrupted the fascinat-
ing occupation Of punching with his
scarf pin a lace pattern around a leaf
on the large rubber plant and looked at
her reproachfully.
"You know you always have me to
fall back on" he suggested placidly.
"Of course might not come up to your
exact ideas of what n Prince Charm
ing ought to be, but could you ideal
lie me little, Ell, Elizabeth?
my dear boy, you don't seem to
realize ur-er-nose In the leasti
Now, could you imagine the prince
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-05-28
His Old Letters.

A Wall street business man showed
a visitor bundle of old letters that
he was taking home from his office to
burn in his furnace. 81 wasn't always
so particular about these useless bust
ness letters" he said. until | learned
that the women cleaners were sorting
them out of the wastebaskets and sell
ing them to certain firms which make
a business of furnishing lists of names
for various purposes, mostly to specu-
lative concerns. Then l concluded
that owed 1t to my clients to protect
them from the nuisance that follows
getting ones name on a mailing list
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-05-28
Most Nearly Perfect Vacuum.

1t was Professor Dewar's achieve
ment in liquefying hydrogen that led
to the discovery of an easy method of
obtaining an almost perfect vacuum,
and that in a single minute. When a
glass tube filled with air and closed
at one end has its open end dipped into
a cup Of liquid hydrogen, the intense
cold condenses the air into kind of
snow that settles to the bottom. If,
then, the upper part of the tube, from
which the solidified air has fallen, Is
removed by heating and cooling it off
1t becomes vacuum chamber so free
from air that it is difficult to force an
electric current through it.-New York
Herald
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-05-28

When the AstroIogers Were Wrona.
Not all of the ancients were supersti-
tious. Where wilt thou spend Christ
mas?" asked Henry VII. Of Evans, a
noted astrologer. May it please your
majesty, l am unable to tell" Then /
am wiser than thou" said the king,
for know it will be in prison" An
other astrologer told John Gallezzo,
duke of Milan, that he would die early.
And how long do you expect to liver
asked the duke in return MY lord.
my star promises me long life" "Nev-
er trust your star. man. You are to be
hanged before night" cried the duke.
And, sure enough, he was and that by
being thrown out Of a window at the
end of a rope
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-05-28
CAMDEN AND SUBURBAN RAILWAY CO.

Leave MOORESTOWN every 10 minutes
from SAP until 1912 a. m; then every 30 min
utes until Alp p. m; then every 10 minutes I'M
til g.42 y. M; then every 30 minutes until ll-l2
D. M; then every hour as per night car
schedule.
Leave FERRY sos, 5.S8, Cos G.3s a. M; then
every 10 minutes until 9.3S a. ~; then every 80
minutes until 1888 p. M; then every 10 minutes
until S.38 p. M; then every 80 minutes until
lOOS D. M; then Ii Us and l208; then every
hour as per night car schedule.
Leave MERCHANTNIlLE every minutes
from 582 a. m. until 9.27 a. M; then every III
minutes until 427 p M; then every minutes
until sz7 u. M; then every 10 minutes until
I.s7 D. M; then as per night car schedule.
Leave FERRY at SOB and 5Ss a M; then
every 10 minutes until 5.5S a. M; then every
5 minutes until S.5S a. M; then every III min
ntes until 1858 p. m; then every minutes IN
Il75S D. m; then every 10 minutes until l2Oe
midnight; then every hour as per night car
schedule.
NIGHT CAR-DAILN AND SUNDAY.
Leave Moorestown, l.02, W, 3V2, 4O2 u. IN.
Leave Ferry, kl.0S, 208 3OS, AUS u. IN.
sIast trip ON saturday nigh.
Connect with Mount folly cars al Stanwlcs
avenue.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-05-28
TROLLEY TIME TABLES.
BURLINGTON COUNTY RAILWAY co.
In connection with Camden and Suburba
Railway Company.

In connection with Camden and Suburban
Railway Company.
In effect April 8, 1907.
Leave Fountain, Mount Holly, for Burling-
ton ut $40 a. M, and every hour thereafter
to and including lilo p. M
Leave Broad and High streets. Burlington,
for Mount Holly at 6U3 q. IN. and every hour
thereafter until and including IL .03 p. IN.
Last car ll.95 p. m.
Leave Fountain, Mount Holly. for Moores-
town and Camden at $40, 6.l4 a. m. and every
half hour thereafter until and including S.44,
p. M, then 9.44 10 A, ll3i p. IA.
Leave Camden Ferry for Mount Holly at
Sos 5.3s a. m. and every half hour thereafter
until and including sos p. m, every hour
thereafter until and including 11O6.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-05-28
Annn,,ntinn Ear L.

Mamma" asked little Emersonia
Osgoodson. ''who translated the b.
ble?
"The accepted version of it, my
dear" answered her mother, as the
work of learned Englishmen."
"Englishmenl Then that is why
there is no Epistle to the Bostoniansg
Exchange
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-05-28

How mankind defers from day to
day the best it can do and the most
beautiful things 1t can enjoy without
thinking that every day may be the
last one and that lost time is lost eter-
nally.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-05-28
CAMDEN AND TRENTON RAILWAY co.

C Cars Leave Burlington-Broad High $40
6l2 AZ 1I2 7.42, 8l2, S.42. 9l2, 942 10.l2. 1912
ILL., ll.42 1912, 1872 II, l42 2.l2, ZAP, II, 342
4l2, 442, BIZ 5.42, 6l2 6.42, 7l2 7.42, S.l2, s41
9.l2, Y.42, 1912, ll.42.
WESTBOUND.
Leave Burlington, Broad and High-6OS
6YS 7OS 73S sos, S3S 9OS. e.SS, zoos, l0.Ss, ll0e
SS l2US, 1888, .OS. 1.3S, 20S, 2.3S 30S 33S 4OS
49, 5US 5ss Cos, 3S, 70s, 7.SS. $685. Ss, sos, SSs
LOS ll.US. l2.OS. LOS.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-05-28
7he Burlington and Bristol Steamsboat
Ferry Company.

Schedule In effect $50 q. M. March 18th, 1907
Subject to change.
LEAVE BRISTOL FOR BURLINGTON.
Daily-Except Sundays and Saturdays.
$50, 800, gOO 1000, ll.00 a. M. 1890, 1.30, go
80, 4.30, $50, $50 p. IN.
LEAVE BURLINGTON FOR BRISTOL.
100, $50, $50, 1880, ll.30 a. m, l0O zoo, 300,
400, 500, $50. 100 p. m.
LEAVE BRISTOL SATU RDAYS.
$50, 500, 800, 1000, HOO a. m 1890, 1870, 20
800, $40, 4.50. $50, $50 p. M.
LEAVE BURLINGTON SATURDAYS
100, $50, $50, 1885, 1l.30 a. m, LOO 200, 2.4O
800 400, 500, $50, 100 p. M.
LEAVE BRISTOL SUNDAYS.
500, 800, 100, lO40 1ll5 M, IL 30, l.30, go
800 $40. 49, $50, 6.55 p. m.
LEAVE BURLINGTON SUNDAYS.
$50, $50, 1920 ll.0O, IL 80 a. M, LOO, ZOO 240
$40, 400, 500, $50, 7.O6 p. m.
Notes.-May 18th 1907, the 1000 O'Clock morn.
ing trip from Bristol will be Withdrawn and
the Boat Will leave Bristol at $40 a. IN.
ON Decoration Day the trips will be same
as Saturday Time Table.
The boat for the Performances In the Audi
forum Will leave Bristol at 7.4O p. m return
ing Will leave burlington twenty minutes
after the performances.
No trips Will be guaranteed in foggy weather
WILLIAM +. DORON,
Sec'y, Treas. and Gen'l Manager
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-05-28
PIONEER COURT INCIDENTS.
Free and Easy Manners In Early iii.
nois Trials.


Most of the early Illinois court
houses were log built, but in some dis
| tricts, says the author of Lincoln, the
Lawyer" the sessions were held in the
barrooms of taverns, and the absence
of all Formally In the proceedings Is
best illustrated by the fact that in the
circuit court of Washington county,
held by Judge John Reynolds, the sher
! III usually heralded his honor by sing
| ing out, Come in, boys! Our John is
! a-goin' to hold courtr to which cordial
! invitation those having business with
the law responded.
Another sheriff in Union county made
laudable efforts TO meet the require
ments of the occasion by shouting out
this singular announcement: "Oh, yesl
Oh. yes. oh. yes! The honorable judge
is now openedr'
In one case a judge who desired to
display his learning instructed the Jury
very fully, laying down the law with
authority, but the jurors, after DELHI
Grating some hours, found themselves
unable to agree. Finally the foreman
rose and asked for additional instruc-
lions.
Judge. this ere is the difficulty" he
explained. THE jury want to know If
that thar what you told us was rally
the law, or ony jist your notion
Youths Companion.
A Dramatic Child.
When my son was two or three years
old he was seated in his high chair al
the table eating corn batter cakes and
molasses, of which he was fond. Aft
er eating as many cakes as were good
for him he was told he could have nc
more. Heaving a great sigh, he took
the plate In both hands and licked al
the molasses off. Then, looking stead
lily at the plate as he held it up before
him, he said seriously, II amt got nc
more use for you," and threw it bach
over his head to the floor. where II
] broke to pieces.-Chicago Tribune.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-05-28

There is no witness so terrible, no
accuser so powerful as conscience
Polybius.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-05-28

Stone steps may be kept free from
greenness by adding a small quantity
of chloride of lime to pail of water.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-05-28
WESTWARD WEEKDAYS suNDA-
DELAWARE RIVER TRANSPORTATION 20
In effect April 10, 1907.
THE OLD RELIABLE
EXPRESS SERVICE TO PHILADELPHIA
l,1.r HI md O. u dinnS-

EXPRESS SERVICE To PHILADEI1FH NIX
Steamers Comfortable and Commodious.
Business and Shopping trips made easy
PHILADELPHIA AND RETURN
S--z6
Leave Burlington for Philadelphia 7.l0 and
$40 A. M.
Leave Philadelphia for Burlington zoo r. M.
Subject to change without notice.
SUNDAY BOATS
Leave Burlington for Philadelphia 9.40 A. NJ
Leave Philadelphia for Burlington 800 r. M.
kreig hit shipments covered by full marine
insurance from the time they are received
until delivered TO you.
SERVICE BETTER THAN EVER.
DAVID VANCLEAF,
President and General Manager.
K. ii. FLAGG, JR.,
Freight and Passenger Agent.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1907-05-28
:AIsOaGentIeman
I
BY LESLIE STEWART.

+ Copyright, 1907. by c. H. sutclife. .
+ .S1%1a: