Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-03-16
MRS. JOBSUN'S NEW HAT

When, on an afternoon last week, Mrs.
JObson led Mr.. Jobson up in front of
certain spring millinery display and pointed
out a certain hat to him, her motive was
known only to herself One thing however,
| IL certain She did not expect him to COM
mand her to go right inside the millinery
store and purchase that particular hat, or,
for the ma tier Of that. any other hat; but
she had a little motive, all the same; and
for the sake of this motive she was willing
| to put up with the line of conversation
which she knew would be inevitable as
| soon as she led Mr.. Jobson up to the milli-
| merry window. The line of conversation
| happened, as per her expectation.
"Oh. I see," observed Mr.. Jobson, as soon
| as he became aware of the fact that he
was standing in front of a millinery win
| dow. ''Old gag, hey? Fine! But 1 pre-
| sumo you've heard that old maxim, haven't
you, about leading a horse up to water,
but not being able to make him drink. eh?
Oh Mrs. Jobson began on an amiable
| reply. Il had no idea Of
Huh! Swell-looking lot of lids!'' said
MT MT Jobson, nodding in the direction of the
| might be made for maniacs-and that's
| what they are made for. when it comes to
that. That dinky hunk of cheese cloth, for
instance. with the blue fuzzy wuzzy plumes.
| Now. q pose you'd call that sky piece for
q woman to wear that had enough brains to
last her over night? 1 s'pose you're just
| "Oh. think it rather pretty. of course"
ventured Mrs. Jobson, land those blue
plumes are all the rage this spring. you
| know, but, of course 1 had no notion in
the world that you--'
"Oh, YES you did, madam broke in Mr..
| Jobson. "You had all kinds of notions. l
haven't been tied up with you all these
years without getting next to your curves.
But this stuff is old. this leading me up to
q window and then expecting me to fail
for the game. You out worked that one to
| nice-iooking come-on if I'd let you wheedle
wouldn't I?''|
Oh" said Mrs. Jobson, you know very
| well that hadn't the least idea that you
| would
Well. If you did have any such idea. you
ought to,ve taken something for it: that's
| all I've got to say" growled Mr.. Jobson.
I'm willing to stand for these quarterly
hat gouges, because it's part of the game.
and all the rest of the pin-heads of hus-
but what I'm kicking about is this idea of
yours that you can jolly and josh me into
| buying hats and such junk for you by lead
Ing me up to 'em. Why don't you come
| right out at home, and say that you are
In need of a hat? That 'ud sound like you,
| anyhow, and it wouldn't look so much like
4 wheedlnR."
But, my DEAR" expostulated Mrs Job
| son, Il, Of course, take it for granted that
you must know, when spring comes around,
that ! need a new hat like other women,
| and that
That's the way" broke in Mr. Jobson.
| Make your gouge in an outspoken and
| even threatening way. No use in beating
about the bush. You've got to have new
| hat right off this minute, hey?'
| Il didn't say this minute. but you know
| Easter is early this year, and there are"
| rms minute-you've just naturally got
to have new hat this minute. you say"
/ unYf TohHo 1t
sons explanation. by the way, what are
| those things kicking around In the thousand
| or two bandboxes that fell over me when l
opened the clost door in your room the
| other day? They looked like hats to me.
| Are they hats?'
'Oh" said Mrs. Jobson. "old things that
! are away out of style and that I've had
made over. some of them, two or three
But they're hats. aren't they?' insisted
| Mr.. Jobson. "Theyr made to wear, aren't
they. and they're not worn out, are they?
| long have I been wearing it?'
| why, said Mrs. Jobson, you bought
| that hat last December. and
| Madam" broke in Mr.. Jobson, "I've
been wearing this hat in sunshine, snow,
rain. hail. tempest and calm for four
straight years. and you know it. But I'm
not kicking. 1 know what I'm up against,
and 1 could talk to you until I was black
in the face about how much the worst of it
| l get In this game. and you wouldn't even
| hear what 1 said. But there's one cinch,
and you might as well make note of 1t
now as at any other time. I'll get you a
hat but I'm not going to dig up the price
| OF suit OF clothes for your spring hat this
| year, and you can sprinkle that fact down
and set 1t away to be ironed out later. I
| idiotic-looking thing in the window that
| you showed me. with all of those crazy blue
plumes smeared all over it. and that
''Oh. my dear" put in Mrs. Jobson, Il
| yyOyI 6p'f hfpl Of oott ,n to t,,,ur
such an expensive hat that. I'm going
| to pick out some little cheap thing-just a
plain straw with few flowers. or some
| thing like that. OF course. that hat with
the blue plumes is beautiful. and all the
fashion. and all that. but 1t costs twenty
| three dollars
How dye know what it costs?" snapped
Mr.. Jobson.
| Because" replied Mrs Jobson, Mrs
| Kaystreet priced 1t the other day, and
she's ordered one just like it. It's awfully
pretty. but. I say. 1 merely want this
spring some simple little hat and
''Oh, that'n be about all Of that slow
music. how-I-am-abused-b by "A brutal hus-
band stuff growled Mr.. Jobson. II get
enough of that: Don't try to put on that
Juanita. the Hapless Factory Maiden air
| with me. And that's very sad and sweet
| stuff about your wanting just a simple
| little straw lid with few flowers, but it
! doesn't sound like you and you can't get
| by with it. AS far as Mrs. Kaystreet is
| concerned, If she's got jellyfish for a
man, dub that's willing to soak every
| thing he can earn or beg or borrow or
steal to put 1t all on his wife's frame he
| can have that kind of thing. He doesn't
! look to like somebody that gets
enough to eat. and 1 guess that's the
answer-his wife wears what ought to be
| the grocery bill on her back. You can just
! cut out that throwing up to me what Mrs
| Kaystreet is pricing and buying. You'll
| find that that won't get you anything
| All the same Mrs. Kaystreet was one Of
the leading factors in Mrs Jobson's mo-
| tive, as was shown when Mrs. Kaystreet
called upon the Jobsons just three after
| moons later.
Mrs. Kaystreet wore an exceedingly
! fetching spring hat of light-colored straw
| with a bunch of pink roses under the
| curved brim and big mass of blue ostrich
| plumes at the side. Mr.. Jobson noticed
| the hat as soon she came in and he
| glanced furtively at it many times while
! she sat and chatted. Mrs. Kaystreet made
| herself extremely amiable too. and told
| Mr.. Jobson how young he was looking and
! how she wished her husband had such
| fine suit of hair as he had and so on Mrs
Jobson gave her a grateful glance as she
rose to go and nodded privately, as much
as to indicate that she thought things