The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1907-05-11


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Take my seat, madam" 81 thant
you, Sir, but get of here. too.~-Ch,.
cago Tribune.
Sillicus-How can a man fol, vho,
ne is really in love? Cynicus-He cant
tell I'LL It's too late.-Philadelphia Rec
ord.
Jack-I hear that Miss Passe is an.
gagged. Dick-Is that so? Who 10 +bo
happy man? Jack-Old man Passe of
course-Familie Journal.
Doctor, how can ever renav vo~
for your kindness to meY sDoesn,t
matter, old man. Check, money order.
Or cash. "-Milwaukee Sentinel.
Mr.. Bach-I suppose you find that /.
oaDy brightens up the house? Mr.. Bene-
olct-1es; we burn nearly twice the
gas we used to.-Boston Transcript.
THAT new roomer paid two thousand
dollars Tor that violin he practices on"
Il wish he'd trade it for a ten-dollar
violin he could play."-Detroit Free
Press.
Chalrman-I'm sure we be all very
sorry our secretary is not here tonight
cannot say we miss is vacant chair,
but l do say we miss is vacant face
Punch.
Il aim afraid, darling, you will very
soon forget me-" "How can you think
so-see, have tied two knots in my
pocket handkerchief Meggendorfer
Batter.
"Most " tn OF marrid men / know
threat their wives like a rockin'- chair.
great comfort whin they're tired, but
apt TO be in tn way at other times."-
Mr.. Dooley's Dissertations.
do you think you could learn to love
me?' the young man inquired. Learn
to love you exclaimed the rapturous
maid. Harold, l could give lessons
at it. Louisville Courier-Journal.
"Why force your child to learn fig
ures at so early an age?" That's all
right. l want him to be able to tell
the number when he is knocked down
by an automobile. "-Fliegende Batter.
Charwoman (mending carpet)-I
never thought as 'ows should come to
this, mum. Me that was that we'll ed
Dictated that afore l was married I
couldn't even make a beef pudden.-
Punch.
"But you know, madam, that in Tur-
key a bride never sees her husband
before the wedding day." Lady (wife
of an inveterate clubman)-How odd !
We never see our husbands after =
Literary Digest.
Her Husband-If a man steals-no
matter what it is-he will live to regret
it. His Wife-During our courtship
you used to steal kisses from me. Her
Husband-Well, you heard what said
Chicago News.
Proud Owner Of New Cottage-I've
been wondering what creepers to put
on the cottage. Which do you think
would be best, John? The Gardener
Well, sir, one of them Virginias would
cover it up quickest.-Punch.
"a woman always insists on having
the last word" remarked the man who
thinks he knews human nature. Eyes. !"
answered Mr.. Meekton, grim1y, "and,
al a rule, also the first word and most
of the intermediate words. Washing
ton Star.
She-Did you enjoy the opera last
night. Herr Schwarz? He-No. l
couldn't hear anything. She-Why
not? He-Two ladies sat In front OF
me and chartered the whole evening
about how much they loved music
Kleiner Witzblatt
Passenger Gin slow train, to conduc-
tori say, what on earth Is this train
crawling along SO slowly for! ROUND
the corners we hardly move at all.
Conductor-Ah, but you see, SIR we
have ten baskets of eggs in the baggage
car.-Meggendorfer Batter.
The second day drew to lts Close
with the twelfth jsryman still uncon'
WINGED. "Well, gentlemen" SAID the
conrt officer. entering quietly, "shall l.
az usuau. order twelve dinnersr'
"Mako It" said the foreman, eleven
dinners and a bale of hay."-New YORK
Press.
"no Won think that people will ever
=. ob,e TO secure a perfectly satisfac-
tory government Il doubt IT. salo
senator Sorghum. History shows tnat
No government has been perfectly sat
,.foctorv to more than one person al
49, end he was the one who hap
pened to be the boss s." asnil'k'o1
Star.
| - uim Too Well.