The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1907-08-25

s'Sometimes.' Gays he. with his mouth
full Of country produce. I lose all patience
with you people hat think you are higher
up In the profession than I am. Now, what
could either Of you do In the present emer-
gency TO set VIZ on our feet agsinS Could
you do v. Ricksy1' ,.... .''
81 must confess. Mr.. Bassett, says Ricks.
speaking nearly inaudible out Of q slice OF
pie. that at this.i immediate juncture l could
not perhaps promote an enterprise 20 re-
lieve the situation. Large operations. such
as direct. naturally require careful prepa-
ration in advance. -
- know. Ricksy.' breaks in Bill Bsssett.
You needn't finish. You need $500 70 make
the first payment on a blonde typewriter.
and four rooms full Of quartered oak furni-
ture.
And you need $500 more for advertising
contracts. And you need two weeks time
for h fish to begin to bite.
Your line Of relief would be about as
useful in an emergency as advocating
municipal ownership to cure q man sufYo-
Gated by 30 cent gas. And your graft ain
much swifter. Brother Peters
Oh says l, 1 haven't seen you turn
anything into gold with your wand yet.
Mr.. Good Fairy. Mos anybody could rub
the magic ring for a little left over ~victuals.
That was only getting the pumpkin
ready says Bassett. braggy and cheerful.
The coach and sikh drive UP 70 the door
before you know il. Miss Cinderella. Maybe
you've got some scheme under your sleeve
holders that will give us a start
Son says I, I'm fifteen years older
than uN, ora and xvA,,n. ux,A --s A. S~i~
out an endowment policy. I've been broke
before. We can see the lights Of that town
not half a mile away.
Il learned under Montague Silver, the
greatest street man that ever spoke from =
wagon. There are hundreds OF mer walk
ing those streets this moment With grease
spots on their clothes
Give me q gasolene lamp, q dry goods
box and q two dollar bar Of white CASTLE
soap, cut into little
Where's your two dollars1' snickered
Bill Bassett into my discourse. There wal
no use arguing with that burglar.
NO he goes on; you're both babes In
the woods. Finance has closed the mahog-
any desk and trade has put the shutters up.
Both OF you look to labor 20 start the wheels
going. All right. You admit It. Tonight
III show you what Bill Bassett can do
-Bassett tells me and Kicks not to leave
the cabin till he comes back, even ~ It's
daylight. and then he starts OF toward town,
whistling gay.
This Alfred E. Kicks pulls OF his shoes
and his coat, lays a silk handkerchief over
his hat, and lays down on the floor.
81 think I will endeavor to secure a little
slumber,' he squeaks. The day has been
~fatiguing.. Good night, Mr.. Peters
MY regards to Morpheus, says I. I
think I'll sit up a while
About 2 o'clock, as near as l could guess
by my watch in Peavine, home our
laboring man and kicks UP Kicks, and calls
us to the streak Of bright moonlight shining
in the cabin door. Then he spreads out
five packages Of 81 900 each on the floor and
cackles over the nest egg like a hen.
I'm tell you a few things about thai
town.. says he. It's named Rocky Spring
and they're building a Masonic temple,
and IL looks like the Democratic candidate
for Mayor is going to get soaked by a Pop,
and Judge fuckers wife, who has been
down with pleurisy, is some better.
Il had to talk on these liliputian thesises
before I could get a siphon in the fountain
vi hboN UP ttia a va dllCIs huu JIISTo y
a bank called the Lumberman's Fidelity
and Plowman's Savings Institution.
1T closed for business yesterday with
morning with SIS. SOCIAL silver-that's the
reason didn't bring more.
There you are, trade and capital. Now
will you be bad!'
My young friend says Alfred 4. Kicks,
LzIli-- 49, ~. k.-l. 49, --I-l
this bank? Dear me, dear mel
~'You couldn't call it that says Bassett.
'"Robbing" sounds harsh. All I had to
do was to find out what street it was on.
That town is so quiet that I could stand
on the corner and hear the tumblers clicking
in that safe ~lock-"right to Is. left twice
to 80. right once 10 90. left to 15"-as plain
as the Yale captain giving orders in the
football dialect.
~Now. boys says Bassett. this is an
early rising town. They tell me the citizens
are all up n stirring before daylight. I
asked what for and they said because break
fast was ready at that time.
And what OF merry Robin Hood2 It
must be Yoicksl and away with the thinkers
chorus. I'll stake you. How much do
you want1 Speak up. Capital
MY dear young friend. says this ground
squirrel Of q Kicks. standing on his hind
legs and Juggling nuts in his paws, I have
friends in Denver who would assist me.
II I had a hundred dollars /
-Bassett unpins a package Of the currency
and throws five twenties to Kicks.
Trade, how much?' he says to me.
-Put your money up. Labor says +.
I never yet drew upon honest toll for It's
hard earned pittance. The dollars I get
are surplus ones that are burning the pock-
cts Of damfools and greenhorns.
when l stand on a corner and sell a
solid gold diamond ring to q zap for three
dollars l make just 1890. And I know
he's going to give it to a girl in return for
the benefits accruing from a Sl2S ring.
His profits are sl22. Which OF w 10
the biggest fakerT'
And when o sell a poor woman a
pinch Of sand for so cents to keep her lamp
from exploding says Bassett, what do
you figure her gross earnings to be. with
sand at 20 cents a ton?'
Listen says I. I instruct her TO keep
her lamp clean n well filed. II she does
that il can't bust. And with the sand in IL