Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-10-12
Rigid Etiquette
When Announcing Engagement.


To say that girl should be more care
full at a certain time than at others of
her manners would be ridiculous but il
or situations during which young
woman's actions may be more severely
criticised. and one of these is during the
early part of an engagement. Every
smallest act of a girl is under the most
minute inspection of the family of her
future husband, particularly if they have
not known her previously, and it is q
wise woman who conducts herself in such
a way that they can give only commen-
dation. and not blame. She win lose
nothing by standing on her dignity, pro-
vided always that she does not carry it to
excess and thus become silly.
Ii is not the place of a girl to pay the
first visit to her future husbands mother
unless under exceptional conditions.
Should the parent be Ill or unable to go
out it is then the girls privilege to so
if the mother has expressed wish that
she should. but not otherwise. The
theory is that the young woman waits
to be welcomed to the family to which
in the future she is to belong. and it is
for that family to receive her graciously
Immediately. Should the girl make the
first visit she puts herself IN the position
of thrusting herself upon them whether
they wish to have her or not. A mans
mother who does not call at once upon
her sons siancee is not only rude. but
unkind, unless there is some serious rea-
son why the engagement is discounte-
nanced by his relatives.
Physical inability among his sisters is
the only excuse for their not calling at
once, and while a girl may waive for
mality and make the initiai cali upon his
mother if she is certain that lady wishes
to receive her in the capacity of future
daughter-in-law. there is no reason why
the girl should do the same for her
fiance's sisters except for the justifiable
excuse above given.
The announcement of an engagement
is made either by the girl or her mother
in almost any way they choose. Custom
allows great latitude in this respect, and
it may be made public at a tea. a
luncheon or a dinner at which time the
news is told to friends. AS a rule inti-
mates have already been acquainted of
the fact by word of mouth or by notes,
and in this case they are asked not to
tell it until the date set for a formal
announcement. Once the engagement is
known it is expected that the girls
friends will pay visits of congratulation
or write notes of good wishes, but she
need not refrain from going to see them
as usual unless she wishes to stand upon
formality and wait for them.
1t is very gracious thing for the
mans mother to announce her sons en-
gagement to old friends of their family.
expressing pleasure in it. To entirely
demonstrate her approval she should ask
the girl at some special date to meet
friends of her future husband. For the
mans mother to give tea or dinner is
not only tactful, but kind for it makes
the newcomer feel that she is indeed
welcome.
The feeling of the mans family for
her in future years is largely made by
the girls manner and conduct during
| her engagement, ant with tact, kind
ness of heart and politeness she can ac-
complish much.