The Coeur d'Alene press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1906-1907, 1907-07-19
CELEBRATED CRANKS
Genius That Was Linked With the
Manners of a Bear.
A DINNER WITH DEAN SWIFT.
The Way the Whimsical Mi'anthrOps
Treated His Publishsr--Carlyle and
Tennyson as orowIers-storieS OF
Handel and Won 5uiow.


Tsnnyson 40 0rowIers--storieS OF
Handel and Won 5uiow.
CARLYLE. in addition to his other trou-
bles was a great sufferer from dyspep-
ala He was therefore anything Dut
sympathetic In intercourse win MS
friends, anything but fair In his esti-
mates of other writer's
Though Carlyle personally liked Ten
nyson, he spoke with Impotence OF mis-
pcobbllng his odes," dismissed Jane
AuSten's novels as "dlshwashings,
Hallam. the historian, as dry as dust
and Goldsmith rs an Irish black
0uard." Even the writers of editorials
in the press were scored by the irrita'
Bile sage Of Chelsea. what are these
fellows dolngT' he asked. "They only
serve to cancel one another"
A characteristic incident illustrates
Carlyle's disposition to lniilct pain even
on a friend. An artist who frequented
the house Of Carlyle painted a picture
of him In his dressing gown smoking
pipe by the freslde and Mrs. Carlyle
In an armchair sitting opposite him.
The portrait was hung at one OF the
Royal academy's exhibitions and,
though not striking work OF art, was
purchased by Lord Ashburton, Car
Iyle's friend, for 600.
The delighted artist hurried OF to
the Carlyles, expecting congratulations
on the sale and some manifestation Of
pleasure on their part at having such
value placed on picture of them
selves and their domestic interior. He
delivered his glad tidings, but the
only response he got from Carlyle was:
"Well, mon. $500 was just f495 too
much"
Browning one day left copy Of his
new poems at Carlyle's house. In
speaking OF this action to Tennyson
the next day Carlyle broke out with o
savage snari:
what did that fellow mean by leav.
ing that cart load OF stones at my
door,"
Tennyson himself, though not nearly
80 grouchy as the Chelsea sage, was
yet considerably Of q GROWER on occa-
sion. Especially did this tendency on
his part become manifest when he sus.
pected a disposition on any side to
lionize him.
1t is related that at a dinner in Lon.
don to which he had gone much
against his will at the solicitation of
relative the poet laureate soon dis
covered that the company were expect,
ing some pearl OF thought from him.
He glowered at the gathering in such
a way as visibly to discomfort some of
them. Then, as II purposely to utter
the most unpoetlcal remark he could
devise, with Rsim smile he turned to
his hostess Tho guests In absolute
silence waiting the slightest word of
genius-and growled out:
MADAM, l like my mutton cut in
chunks-in chunks, madam. in chunksp'
Perhaps the greatest crouch of lit.
erature was Dean Swift, that whimsl-
cal misanthrope who evlnced morbid
delight In humiliating his social infe.
riors because he himself when young
had been Outrageoualy affronted by his
superiors.
Swift had acted as private secretary
70 Sir William Temple. Once when
Sir William was confined 10 his bed
with govt the king, William III. visit,
ed him, and Swift offlciated as his
majesty's guide through the gardens
OF Moor Park. The king taught the
secretary how to cut asparagus In the
Dutch way, and Swift had also the
felicity OF seeing him eat the vegetable.
nRA - "a
dean OF St Patrick's cathedral In Dub.
lin. his publisher. Faulkner, called at
the deanery on business connected
with some proof sheets. Having been
detained until near dinner time, he
was pressed by the dean to dine with
him. Asparagus was one of the veg
etables, and the guest asked for q
second helping.
"slr," snapped Swift. pointing to
Faulkner's plate, FIRST finish what you
have upon your plate'
''what. slrH Eat the stalks2'' asked
the astonlshed publisher
"Aye. sir. Eat the stalks or you'll
have no morel King William always
ate his stalks" added the dean In his
most imperious manner.
Whereuron the meek Faulkner. yield
ing to the deans will, ate the stalks
most gubmissiyely.
shortly after tho deans death Faux
nsr was relating the incident ms IN II,
iustration OF Swift's insolence.
"And you were silly enough to obey
himr asked some one.
"Yes," replied Faulkner. "and let me
add. sir. that II you had dlned with
Dean Swift you would have eaten
your stalks too"
John Hunter. the famous Engilsh sur
geOn. was a man Of great eccentrlcity
and OF most bearlsh manners. His
wife. a Witty and beautiful woman.
was the friend Of many distinguished
persons Of the tlme-the eighteenth cen.
tury-her intimate friend being Mime.
dAFblay. The two were the moving
spirits OF sprightly salon. But Hun.