davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28
Always IronieaI.

Public men, lawyers, ard other persons
who have been brought in contact with
the Hon Charles Joseph Bonaparte since
he has been Attorney General say that
a fine vein OF irony runs through his
conversation on nearly every subject
which they have had occasion to discuss
with him, Il Is form Of irony, they de-
clare, that is the natural outgrOwth of
the cold cynicism that characterizes his
outlook upon the world, and that is the
only percepuble mental trait in common
between him and his illustrious great
uncle, the first Napoleon Whether this
mental quality rules his judgment or not
is a question that belongs to that category
of problems with which the psychologists
are wont TO deal, but that it invests his
conversation with sharp. biting sarcasm
is a fact that has been impressed upon
the minds Of every body who has business
with him.
1t doubtless will be surprising to most
persons, by the way, to learn that the
Attorney General is not an especial ad-
mirer Of the great Napoleon. Him he re-
CARDS, according 10 the testimony of
friends who have made bold TO draw him
out on the subject of NapOleon's char
acter and achievements. as essentially
q mighty captain and administrator. but
as man. devoid OF those finer qualities
of mind indispensable to the highest form
Of human character. It is related that
once. when Mr. Bonaparte was discussing
Napoleon with a celebrated Catholic prel-
ate, he remarked that he had some mis-
givings as to Just which Of the realms
his illustrious kinsman was now inbahif-
ing in the spirit world
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28
Wholly.

mis- debut in vaudeville the night before,
the audience wasn't justified in treat
Ing me as they did. Ny act wasn't half
bad
Well. replied Crittick, neither were
the eggs they passed up 70 you"
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28
Tnff YIenra q. a nemncrnt.
nm me e,t..,.zsa. Ns~s and Courier

= -
There Is more In common between Taft
and Brsss than between Taft and Fair
banks. II. Taft is better friend to
the p ae than he is to the beneficiaries
Of = Ding3ey tariff and the laws that
chez n the trusts. and that is 10 say
thE he is bette. Democrat than he is a
Fspnblican.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28
The Great Minnie.

After all, said HI Trsgerdy. didaeti-
cally. Death is the star tragedian."
4 don't know" replied Lowe ComeFdy,
4 always think Of him as d low come
diana mere mimic-because he's always
taking some one of "
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28
NOTHING SERIOUS.

From the Philadelphia Press.
HIS Bette Noir.
PA" asked the Senator's little boy,
what is a Nemesis
a Nemesis nay son. replied the Sen
ator. wearily. is a female ofiice-seeker
that you fcOlishiy promised to assist
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28
Arrive Early,

''Ths papers claim there is a good deal
Of money dropped at the track every
day"
'Well2H
- don't seem to be able to pick up
any"
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28

1t is explained that the danger involved
in coliiding with the tTiturated tail of that
disintegrated comet lies in the fact that
the earth might be wrapped in a sort Of
burning vapOr, the result being our total
destruction. Privately. we incline to the
theory that the scientist who handed out
that story originally was simply indulging
in hot air
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28
Tn n. out Awa,n

"Yaas. said Cholly. she was out when
called. but / hope for better luck next
time"
How ungallant Of you" exclaimed Miss
Peppreys you should wish her the good
luck"
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28
- neIief nf Ia.

well. / finally summed up the courage
20 speak to her father last night. ! tell
you. it was a great relief
Gee! What did he say?"
obi you misunderstood me; he wasn't
in"
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
THE EASY WAY.

The race horse men return in spring
And large. capacious bags they bring
Bags made to hold
The stuff that we have kept IN trust,
The coin, the wherewithal, the dust,
The notes OF gold
love them more thaa tongue can tell!
ike to see them living well
And drinking wine.
But / need beans and likewise pork,
And 50 I'll keep right on at work,
And mail EN- mine.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28
On TechnIcaIIfiee-

MY dear Mr., Graball, unless you mend
your ways. fear / shall never be able
to get you through the eye OF needle. &"
stick TO your last, parson. That's a
lawyers work"
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28

"The Washington Herald mans one fault
is that he loves to use like like as If 1t
was a conjunction" says the erudite New
York Mail man. Thanks for calling atten-
ton TO it. BY the by, you probably wrote
that 'as if it were conjunction" but the
compositor wickedly changed IL for y0ui
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28
,Towne to the Philippines.

Hon. Charles A. Towne. who has re-
peatedly declared that the close Of the
last Congress marked the end OF his ca
reer IN politics. is preparing to go to the
Philippines for a protraeted stay. The
immediate cause Of his going to the Phil
ippines at this time Is the business Of a
client In New York that requires Mr..
Towne's presence in Manila, but when he
has closed this up he will linger in that
part OF the world several months, or per-
haps year or more. For a long time he
has desired 70 study the far East question
at close range. and he will embrace this
opportunity to do so. He will probably
make Tokyo and Pekin the principal
bases Of his operations. and after gaining
an insight into political, social, and eco
nomlc conditions in the chief empires of
the Orient he may contribute to a promi-
nent American magazine a series Of arti-
c5es along original lines OF thought and re-
search. Mr.. Towne is one OF the few men in
public life who write as well as they talk,
and IL is expected that his contributions
to the literature on the far East question
viii be Of special value 10 statesmen in
Europe as Well as this country.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28

The tariff certainly seems the most pop
ular topic for politicians not TO talk
about.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28

To-day. March 2s. is the day upon which
German seismologist predicts that ''the
present ominous quieseenee of the earth"
viii come to an end. He missed it few
days. April II is the date of the opening
of the baseball season.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28
unrecogpsxed

From the Philadelphia Public Ledger
Since his experience at Colon. Speaker
Cannon understands the feelings Of a
man who ciamors vainly for recognition
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28
The Wberefore

Beware OF the dog"
why such a large sign?" asked We.
$50 that he who runs may read?'
NO. answered the farmer. 80 that
he who reads may run.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28

Now that the Texas legislature has
tackled the Observation-Disclosures differ
entail. the majority OF the members
viii have 10 content themselves with
looking as wise as possible and saying
nothing
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28
Grand Opera.

The funny man at ten. twent, thiTt
Accustomed is 10 gaily bark.
But goodness me, how it does hurt
Accompanied by a dollar mark!
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28

Nebuehadnezzar ate grass 70 cure his
dyspepsia. However. II he hadn't sat
up so late at night eating lobster salad
and imbibing foolish water he probably
never would have had dyspepsia
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28

In England the courts seem TO prefer TO
try, sentence. and execute criminals be-
fore opening the argument concerning the
..unwrItten law" in the case.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28
a workine PartneFship.

From the St Louis Pest Dispatch.
Between the army and the Missouri
mule the Panama Canal will be finished
on time.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28

While B. w Golsby. OF Salisbury. N. c..
was waiting at the church" for his
bride-to-be Miss Josie Leamon. of ~
lanta, Ca, the young lady changed her
mind about marrying and fed to the
home of a friend Thus Golsby, while
waiting for a Leamon. got a lemon.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28

The fact that PeaFy left a bottle at the
north pole and that a Milwaukee man
now claims 10 have discovered the pole
furnishes a beautiful example OF cause
ana effect
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28
Called to the Ancient ways.

sEom the Richmond Times Dispatch.
Democrats may denounce Grover Cleve-
land, but he has called them to their creed
and pointed the way to honorable victory.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28
we,re Gettinr PIentr No,r.

From the Milwaukee Sentinel
Mr.. Taft would make a good candidate
for 1905 But terrible lot Of obesity
jokes would sEsue.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28
Real Financial Genius.

From the New York Press.
A financial genius is man who can
have a family and money at the same
time.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28

What on earth did the Nicaraguan
army want 10 capture the city Of Teguci-
galpa for? It's a lot OF trouble digging
around in the geography for these things!
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28

This Is the season Of the year when
the moth balls and the 'Uncles" catch
the unsuspecting overcoats mapping.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28

only my body has been in jail.'' says
former Senator Burton. It is conceded by
the public. however. that that helped
sonnet
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28
F.nueuaol

"There'n be real good thing at the
track tomorrow"
Going Out?'
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28
Getting More Than Their share.

From the Omaha Bee
Railroad presidents doubtless regret
that the DingIey schedules do not place
2 prohibitive tariff on advice.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28
Quite so.

Don't let the gallery cause you to lose
your temper" cautioned the old actor.
why not7"
Whom the gods would destroy they
FIRST make mad"
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28

The esteemed Macon Telegraph has re-
dueed the size Of It's head. but the out
come OF the late Georgia gubernat0rial
campaign probably had nothing to do
with il
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28

''The battle ship Georgia is harboring
an epidemic Of them easles" is the latest
bulletin from DR.. Linotype
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28

Senator Stone thinks Japan wants the
Philippines Fortunately for Japan. how
ever. Senator stone isn't doing the think
ing for her.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28

Macon Telegraph: The Washington Her
on Editor John Temple Graves, but Is
mystified as to the gravity Of his injuries.
since one report says the editor was vio-
lently struck on a prominent corner, -
while another says the colonel was at
tackled on a busy square. Let the Her
aid be easy in its mind. The editor was
hit on the head, but he is on top and is
doing business at the old stand.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28

Since "Uncle Joe" was quarantined at
Colon, he knows how some of those
statesmen feel when he guarantees their
pet measures in the Speakers room.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28

4 am a farmer. and 1 am proud Of it.
says Pugilist James J. Jeffries. So are the
audiences that visit the vaudeville thea
ters
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28

In his new book. Maxim Gorky says:
I found absolutely nothing congenial in
America" very handsome and we'll
deserved compliment.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28

The Ohio Sun meanly points out that
the difference between Mr. Cleveland's $
age C70) and that of Mr. Bryan (4T is g.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28

Grand Rapids thief stole 5000 eggs,
and before he could be captured and
the eggs recovered the market dropped
10 cents a dozen. lie ought TO be doubly
punished
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28

Still, it is quite a compliment to some
people to charge them with suffering
from brain-storms. 1t might never be
suspected otherwise that they possessed
brains at ALL
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28

Frank o. Briggs, New Jerseys new
Senator is said to be a fine boxer. II he
can also play a rafting game Of tennis,
he ought to make good in Washington.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28

president Bonilla has taken to the tall
timber" says the Birmingham News.
Well, he will not be lonesome.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28

Indianapolis Sun: Mr.. Hemenway," !"
says The Washington Herald. belongs to
that eoterie of Senator'S who make few
set speeches. but who do their work
quietly and effectively in the committee
rooms. But The Herald negleets to state
the character of work that Is done in
the committee rooms and the limit there
of
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28
INSPIRED BY THE HERALD.

Houston Post: In an article on Indians
Who Have Made Good" The Washington
Herald mentions the names OF i've. For
lack Of space The Herald omits mention
Of the names Of Indians who have been
made good.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28

Richmond Times Dispatch: According to
the esteemed Washington Herald. one
branch Of the Utah legislature has passed
an act making the playing of bridge whist
for a prize a felony. No Utah gentleman
should fail to read this aloud at break
fast 10 his seventeen wives.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28

Cleveland Leader: The Washington Her.
old tries to reassure US By saying, For
tunately for our peace Of mind, not more
than 10 per cent Of the stuff the scientists
turn out Is true" That's an right, but
which 10 per cent is il?
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28

New York Mail: Two thousand pre-
scriptions d day. according to the Wash
ington Herald again, is the total in a
certain Russian drug store. The stamp
directory telephone business at that phar-
macy must be something colossal
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28

Richmond News-Leader: Senator Till
man Is succeeding admirably In convicing
the people Of the South that he does not
know what they think about the race
problem" says The Washington Herald
And talks about the race problem as IL
he did not think at all.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-28

The Canadian government is repre-
seAted in Washington by its postmaster
general. Mr. Rlndolphe Lonieux; the
deputy postmas9 9sr general. Dr. Robert II.
Coulter, and /ir. William Smith, secre-
tary OF N land department. Mr..
Lomieux is of French extraction, and a,
young nssn Of very prepossessing man
ners He and his associates are hero
to confer with our Postmaster General
regardiys sene reciprocal postal agree
mknts Eetween Canada and the United
State They viii be in Washington until
Sagaday.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1907-05-17

1t had been closed for the greater part
of that time.
John Carney had remained at Car
ney-Croft only long enough to have a
snort visit with his sister and put to
rights his own personal effects, and
then, accompanied by Bobbs he had
departed for a tour of the world or
goodness knows where. l heard from
either him or Bobbs at varying inter-
walls, and on strictly business matters,
and the only way ! had of addressing
him was through a banking house in
London which was kept fairly we'll in.
formed as to his whereabouts.
Miss Weston's health improved suf-
ficlently to permit her travelling, and
she continued to reside with Miss Car
ney, who took a furnished apartment
In town, as her brother and l had ad-
v;sed her to do. Later they travelled
considerably abroad, and finally settled
down for a %protracted stay at a little
| village on the Mediterranean coast, in
the hope of benefiting the health of
| Miss Weston, who, as l afterward
learned, was suffering from consump.
ton.
AS l have said, more lhan three years
had passed when l received a most un
expected communication from Miss
Carney saying that she had decided to
return home at once bringing Miss
Weston with her. She asked me to
have Carney-Croft made ready for oc-
cupancy with as little delay as pos
sible.
l had had no vacation that summer,
and IL occurred to me that, instead Of
attending to the matter at. long range,
l would go down myself for a week
or two and give 1t my personal at
tention.
1 arrived on a day that was almost a
counterpart of the one that saw my
first visit to Carney-C Croft, and at the
station, l was received with scant
show Of welcome by the man who
had taken me down in his trap before
and entertained me on my return jour-
ney with anecdotes of old Mr.. Carney
and a tale OF ghosts.
Want teh go daown teh tn place,
I s'pose," he grumbled.
We rode along In silence until We
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1907-05-17
Improvement on Plated Skirt.

The plated skirt, while smart in
the extreme and popular beyond the
dreams Of even its most ardent advo-
Gates. is so generally used that most
of us will welcome any departure
from its somewhat conventional lines.
The only thing that looks like a sue
cessful rival of plated skirt popularity
is the side-front-closing skirt. This
mode is to be noted in the latest eos
tunes of several women known for
their cleverness in dress effects. A
yellow tan b~roadcloth had the skirt
so fastened on the left front, the fast
enings being accomplished by broad.
cloth buttons set in black rims. The
little coat, a half-ftted effect reaching
just to the hips. vas buttoned on the
side also. with buttons similar in style
but a size smaller. Still another side
front effect was noted in a bun lans.
downe costume in which the plain
waist was attached to a circular skirt.
and both fastened with large covered
mold buttons of brown silk. Two
three-inch-wice bands Of brown silk
trimmed the skirt. and one finished
the loose sleeves.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1907-05-17
PROCESS KEEPS GARMENTS IN
> FRESHNESS.
Fatal Mistake to Allow Lines and
Wrinkles to Show-Proper Way
to Clean and Press Skirts
Wash Erocks.

A clever girl with more taste than
money always puts away her ribbons
and laces to rest. This Is not so much
to freshen them, though they are i'm
proved by 1t, as to have something
which Is apparently new to her friends
when she rewears them after their
rest cure"
Nothing induces shabbiness In coats
and gowns more than the lines and
wrinkles which show that they have
been worn and reworn. Walking
creases make a garment old before 1t
has done 1t duty.
Men know this better than women
and this Is why a man Is we'll dressed
with a small wardrobe, because every
week or so he makes a change OF
suits, sends the suit he has been wear
ing to the tailor and never by any
chance allows a wrinkle to become
fixed in his garments.
Here is a plan that has been tried
with success for cleaning and pressing
skirts: Brush them first, then whisk
on with a clean brush dampened In
ammonia and warm water. Any stain
can be removed IL rubbed out at once
with a mixture of equal parts of am
monia, alcohol and water.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1907-05-17

reached the gates, when, m I was un.
locking them with n key from the big
bunch that ! had brought with me, he
unbent enough to say: Don't look
much like II ulster, here!"
He was quite right. The grass stood
knee high on the lawns, the road.
beds and paths we're choked with
weeds, and the asphalted walks, lead.
Ing from the front and sides OF the
mansion, and winding gracefully down
under the trees to the river, we're
blanketed under the leaves and other
accumulations Of three long years.
The man waited until I had unlock.
ed the front door, which swung In.
ward with the ftful creaking of dis
use, and then asked: 90 we want me
teh waltz"
"Oh, MOI" / replied. mot at ALL"
"All right" he returned, clucking to
his horse, "Tll tell Hoskins teh save a
room fur We, an 1t hain't much of a
walk frum here, anyhaow."
Hold ont" l shouted, as he was
turning the corner. Don't do any
thing of the sort! I'm going to sleep
here tonight. II I ear find any lights
and manage to turn on the water. I
don't want to sleep at Hoskins' I'M
less | have to, but I'll be over there
for breakfast in the morning.
His expression of amazement was
wonderful to behold, as he pulled his
horse down on its launches to hear
me through. Then, with a grin, he
chuckled: wal, it's. gol dummed little
sleepin' yell do, I'll warrant" and he
drove on up the road"
l wandered over the house, raising
windows and opening shutters to let
In the light and air and then, making
a frugal lunch of some things I had
purchased on the train for this pur.
pose, l lighted a cigar and, drawing
a chair out on the veranda, l watched
the sunset far away over the river and
waited for bedtime.
i had no doubt that my rustic
friends establishment at my determin.
l alton to sleep in the house was found
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1907-05-17
Even Thin Fabrics Do Not Escape
Fashionable Trimming.

More beautiful effects are wrought
in braids than ever were thought of
before this season, and though it may
seem like an old, old story to talk Of
these trimmings, the couturieres are
constantly Using them in new designs.
The latest wrinkle for the ever popu
lar soutache is to sew it edge-on, not
fiat, by which means greater relief
Is given to the pattern. Thin satins
and mousselines, which have to a GER
tain extent escaped braided embellish-
ments heretofore, are now lavishly
adorned with soutache, radium and
other mart braids, which serve to
reproduce the most handsome and
complicated patterns and threaten to
take the place of embroideries in some
instances.
Stimulating stripes are cross-barred
effects on plain fabrics. the new braid
ings are very smart, although it takes
an endless amount of material for this
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1907-05-17
BEAUTIFUL EFFECTS SEEN IN BRALDS

purpose. Additional effect Is also
given to goods striped broad by sew
ing soutache along the edge of such
strips. Considering all this without
what may be hereafter devised, the
demand for soutache is likely to con-
time through to fall, if not for an
other whole year or so.
We might be threatened with "yel-
low peril" in the world of dress il
fashion had not given first place to
brown, for it is not easy to recall a
year when so many lemon shades have
been handed down to us-no slang in
tended. For thin summer frocks,
moutarde and lemon-tinted nous
~selines, muslins, batistes are displayed
in ~bewildering variety, and they are
unusually pretty trimmed with fine
silk soutache braid, which Is fire.
quently combined with a delicate bit
of embroidery carried out with chine
or very narrow satin ribbon. For sum-
mer gowns, cable shirrings of satin
are also much used, and the heavier
the cords the more effective.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1907-05-17

ed upon the twaddle over ghosts tina,
was begun In the village three years
before, and l rather welcomed this
ides, for l felt that the more preva.
lent it became the less likelihood
would there be of undesirable prowl.
ers about the place.
The room l chose for the night was
the n ! had occupied on the occa.
sion OF my former visit and, after max.
ing up my bed in true bachelor fash,
ion, with bedding which l had no trou.
BILE in finding, l locked the house Sc.
curely and slept the sleep OF the
Just.
l awoke suddenly, startled no doubt
by a ray Of sunlight cleaning fairly
in my face, and, finding the day SO far
advanced, ! sprang out of bed thor.
oughly refreshed by my sleep and ex.
hilarated by the crisp morning air
that was blowing in through the win.
dow. AS threw back the sheet some.
thing fell to the floor; picking 1t up, ]
found a small, square envelope ad-
dressed in a cramped and totally unfa.
miliar hand:
Frederick Ware. Esq.
Carney-Croft.
/ tore 1t open, and my astonish.
ment at its discovery was increased
ten fold by its contents. The note
read:
AS you love Florence Carney and hope
to mako her your wife, keep her away
from this place at any cost.
l read 1t over and over again until
the letters fairly danced before my
eyes, and then l suddenly awoke to
the Importance of finding, IL possible.
how 1t had been placed in my bed.
The window was open, to be surer,
and had been open all night, but 1t
was too far from the ground to have
been reached without a ladder, and
a later inspection of the ground be-
meath showed c~onclusively that no lad
der had been placed under it. More
over, the little tendrils of Ivy that
waved in the breeze all around the
sash we're absolutely uninjured, which
could not have been the case IL an
entrance to the room had been effect.
ed In this way.
cTo BE coNTINuED.l
ri - F-| To"