The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-01-27

lance, and one can understand whv
they hankered for wider Sphere OF
influence and the companionship of
large, free Souls, far from the hamper
ing provincialism of a one-horse Jaw
Town
So CULVER ran for Congress, with
Mrs. CULVER close behind him, prod
ding him along with a Hat Pin.
She didn't know more than a Table
spoonful about taking the Tariff off of
Filipino Products, and she did not care
three whoops whether the Navy was
| increased or taken in at the back, but
she had a large Photo Engraving of
Herself out on the floor of the Ball
Room, housekeeping with the Chief
Justice of the Supreme Court
BY slatherlng two bushels of Golden
Ducats and waving the Starry Banner
until his Arms gave out, CULVER was
elected to represent the 'Steenth Dis
trict IN the Halls of Congress. and he
felt about the same as King Edward
did the day after the Coronation.
As he and the Lady with the Prompt
Book rode toward the Rising Sun they
wondered if they would be able to
dodge the Reporters.
Having arrived in Washington, they
recognized the large Structure with the
Dewfiicker on top of it as the Arena
] RlOulU
and lofty flipflaps. They hired a Guide
I'm Uniform to lead them around and
put them wise to the general Layout
Mr.. CULVER discovered that he had
| been assigned to a cute little Desk
about the size of those used in the Sec
ond Reader Department of a Public
School. AS nearly as he could estimate
there were 1000 of these Desks. all fac
ing a tall Throne, occasionally occupied
by an Old Gentleman about sixteen
feet high.
Mr. CULVER could tell the difference
between a Congressman and a Page
almost Immediately, because the Pages
were smOOth-faced.
The Government had provided him
with a Pad of Paper and a No. 2
Pencil, so that he could employ him
self i'm making Pictures while waiting
for the Speaker to discover that he had
arrived in the City.
Mr. and Mrs. CULVER were wander
ing through the Corridors. little sur
prised at not meeting some one they
knew, when suddenly the great Build
ing trembled and they were aware of
the immediate presence of a most CO.
lossal and awe-inspiring Giant. He
seemed to fill out the available space
i'm all directions. He bore down upon
them and they backed against the Wall
TO escape DeiuS WdlheQ upon anu ami
hilated.
AS he passed they looked up at the
Massive Countenanee, which bore an
Expression of stern and thoughtful
Melancholy. They saw the heavine
Chest and measured with bulging eyes
the enormous Stature of the Strange
Being, the terrific upward sweep of
cleaning Forehead and the volumin-
Gus folds of the Toga, which was large
enough for a Tent.
What is it," asked Mrs. CULVER,
in a choking whisper.
"That is a Senator" replied the
Guidee.
He came very near stepping on me-"
said Mr.. CULVER. Couldn't he see
me?''
a. Senator cannot see a Congress
man until the Congressman has been
here long enough to swing Il Commit
tee by the Tail was the reLjy
Il had better get out of here" SAID
Representative CULVER. Il never felt
SO puny and helpless in all my life"
wait until YOU get used to them
and they won't look quite so Big" said
the Guide. In the meantime. when
you see one of them coming you had
better run and hide behind a Waste
Basket
"Oh. look. who's there?" suddenly