The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-07-17
Sidssoak Pencilinss
A...s ls.ehsss ..A r.e,..

still adhere to my ancient conviction, strong aS the rock of Gibralter. that a lover IS mucker and that a sentimen- talist is | fool. l have heard the defi' nitions reversed, but those who reverse them are prudes and scintillatiRg ne- farious mutilatera
 Now. to get into the first premise that 2 lover IS mucker-we must first search into the true meaning of the word lover, with which mucker is sy- nonymous. What Is . lover? Some thing. evidently, that loves. What can love? Something animate. of course. What is a mucker? In common slang ology, a mucker is something that wears suspenders Who wear suspen- dsTs' ioys daa. MSman thsys 9ei1Ex Y.x Human beings
 From tue above catechism and an- swers. anyone will readily admit that lovers and muckers are synonymous. The other definitions of muckers are en hearts. Of course women are also muckerS.
 But for the second premise. I hold that sentimentalists are fools. ana CT. Who is . sentimentslist? Some one. of course, who purrs. land fidgets, and groans. renders dissertations on the moon, stars and planets, caresses an tints of vermllion. kisses to the juice of to an Assyrian pool. Does a fool do these things? He does. Ergo what? Ergo. a sentimentalist is fool And 1t is universally admi. led. might resolve itself into: Which then is better for an individual. to be 8 mucker or to be a fool. Gentlemen. which is better? Which will land you the girl of your choice. for of course you must have one. and if you don't you are still worse off, for then you're apSa. dDomed bachelor. ns,. God pity you; must be both-mucker and fool. You must be a pudding head. You must make flighty speeches iou must get ous as an Italian moonlight. I'm both. I confess. l love the rosy lips. the soft brown hair. the liquid and azuro eyes. mellow and glowing. Girls are the and mollifiers. elevators and agitat. tors
 Want a drink. you say? well.. say, are you past the mucker and foot stage. or haven't you reached it yet'"
 Serving Inderterminate Sentence.
 The most obstreperous criminal that the <Rolice Department has arrested in 0 ndmber of days, the most careless and unfearing defendant that ever entered
 
 hended several days ago on the streets of the city. The defendant, too is a lively and unpretentious brute happy in It's ignorance and sublimely inattentive to the wants and cares of any poor mortal who might be near him.
 Gan he talk" asked a visitor to the cells the other day. Hasn't he hand some and liquid eyes. and oh, what A ' dear. whaas your name. old mana H''
 But the defendant doesn't tell. He's by far too wise. and even though Ser geant McDade and Secretary Scale complishmsnt. they have never suc- ceeded.
 The prisoner. again, Is the best fed inmate that the police headquarters has ever had. He is to be sure deceptive. but such is not the case. for he will not cuss. Sergeant Murrell and Act ing Captain Ragland. however. have heard him attempt the use Of his vocal tempt as the most hair raising moot" they had ever heard.
 At any rate, the police department has the laugh on Secretary Scale. who tried to teach the owl how to talk
 One of the popular visitors to Mont gomery is Judge Thomas L. Sowell of Jasper. As State Auditor, he made one of the most capable officials in the State and resigned the office to become Judge of the Law and Equity Court of Walker County. Judge sowell is uni versally popular and everybody in Montgomery extends him tho glad hand.
 Paul Savage. one of the chief depu- ties of the City Court at Birmingham. arrived with the contingent from the Magic city last evening sonatn. that phay have head elected.
 Former Sheriff W. o. Robbins of Elmore County, now State Warden at convict camps 1 and {. was in Mont gomery yesterday to attend a meeting of the State Convict Board.
 Mir. Fred H. Cobb. Jr.. wife and children of Mobile are visiting MT. Cobbs parents at s21 South Union Street.
 Hon. Joel W. Goldsby of Mobile. former President of the State Senate. Is in Montgomery after spending some time at Tate Springs.
 Hon. Edward NJ. Robinson. the we'll known Mobile attorney. Is in Mont gomery.
 MT. W. o. stallings of Eufaula is visiting the city. accompanied by his wife.
 +
 MT. R. Chandler of Clanton is at the Imperial. accompanied by his wife.
 Judge T. l.. Sowell of Jasper, form CT State Auditor, is in the city
 MT. C. G. Reynolds of Abbeville is registered at Hotel Summers.
 MT. R. l.. Johnston of Dadev. He was in Montgomery last night.
 Hon. J. H. Bankhead Jr, of Jasper is registered at the Exchange.
 MT. Charles Kramer of Selma was in Montgomery last night.
 MT. R, l., Avery of Centerville spent last night in the city.
 MT Frank A White of Birmingham is in Montgomery.
 MT R. A. Mitchell of Gadsden is visiting the city.
 MT. Charles Hogue of Sheffield is in the city.
 MT. B. F. Reid of Dothan Is in the city.
 pepsiOuiur Seryanfa