davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-01-20

rather thin see tn constitution mal- treated be subpoeny sarvers Is goin' abroad without amy flourish iv thrum- pets, but undher an assumed name. But if I was tn new British Ambas- sadure 'tis tn constitution iv Tfddy Rosenfelt I'd keep me eye on. That's tn on'y wan that don't need promo ton firm tn judicyary.
 But annyhow what difference does it make at all? Sure, who care who's Ambassadure Nanny years ago twas a divvle iv a job. Tn Ambassadure planted. Wherever he wint he was walkin' United States iv America. If amy wan asked him what tn policy iv his counthry was his answer was: I make 1t up as I go along. It took about a year fir him to raypoort amy thing he had done an another year to get tn reproof back, so he led a free an riochous life, declared war, punched Prime Ministers in tn eye, an gin'ral- ly misbehaved himsilf, an. no wan at home cared what he did. Be tn time they knew anything about it 1t was old news an he was up to some other devilment
 But now how Is 1t? Sure an Ambas- sadure Is about as vallyable as til- lyphone op'rator. He has to make tn connections an if he listens or
  an a slow wan firm wan Governmint to another. He goes up to a King with a sealed envelope an hands 1t to him with tn remark: Sign That night, maybe a man raps at his dure an says 'Ar-re ye tn fellow that brought tn message this mornin'? I an{' says tn Ambassadure, hitchin' on his soord. Then I've come to tell ye to pack ye'er thrunk an go on tn eight fifty-flve. Yeer benighted Governmint has asked us to come out side If we dare an we've wired thim that we dare"
 T heerd Hogan say there was talk in tn English pa-apers iv goin' to war with us about Japan" said MT. Hen messy. I'd like to see it. Dye think they will?"
 'Th' English pa-apers." sad MT. Dooley, like our own ar're conducted be renoned warryors. But, do ye think if there was on'y wan butcher shop in tn city I'd thry to wreck it?"
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-01-20

land, but he has negotyated a threaty fir tn free export iv dachshunds into this counthry.
 "Former fav'rite Ambassadures ar-re secretly delighted with tn change, but there ar-re fears that important divol- opmints may follow. Tn Jap'nese Min ister has not been himself since he taught tn Prisidint jiu-Jitsoo an WIS severely cut be tn glass iv sky light through which he was thrown. Tn Fr-rinch Ambassadure may go home an his Governmint is negotyatin with a prominent handbafl player. Tn Swedish Governmint will make an at- timpt to have Hackenschmitt riprislnt Sweden at Wash'nton. Last night tn Prisidint was in an especially Jolly mood at tn diplomatic reciption where he showed tn British Ambassadure new thrip It wint off very well. Tn Ambassadure on'y said: My word he he sat down on an andiron. Th' Eye italian Ambassadure is lookin' very gloomy afther an unsuccessful attimpt to teach tn Prisidint new game iv cats cradle. Tn Prisidint said 1t wud be all right if ye used wire cable an whoiver lost a hand lost tn game too He is determined to establish closer relations with tn South American ray publics an he has challenged tn dark hued diplomats to a grand rasslin' match, whin he will take thim all on at wanst. Tn Ministers iv Chile. Peru, Argentine, Brazil, Uruguay, an Icwa- door have hurridly left town. Tn Turkish Minister has asked GO be re- lieved an have his head cut of. He says he prefers to die at home. Tn Prisidint is very much pleased at tn appintmint of Oscar tn Rooshyan Joynt as Ambassadure firm Roosnya. He
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-01-20

non always beatin' thim to tn vittles.
 They niver were able to get In first. They thried to thrip, him up. but he jumped over tn British Ambassadure's s foot They grabbed his coattails, but his hunger an dimmycratic thraditions iv what Hogan calls precedence was too sthrong fir thim Whin they got into tn dining room there he was in a seat where he 'cud grab tn first waiter than come alone. Some iv thim asked fir man-iv-war to enfoorce their de- mands fir tn first helpin' tn corned beef, but Joe Cannon defied thim. He said no further cud get in ahead iv him. He'd had tn right kind ov thrainin' in Vermillion County with hired man as pacemaker. He said twas merely matther iv tn start. He was off quicker than tn imported gour- mand, an his quick start give him ten yards advantage over tn fastest am hungriest man in tn Diplomatic Corps. He thought if it wasn't fir his rayspict fir the Chief Ixicootive. an if he wasn't bumped an made to swerve in tn stretch he cud run tn Prisidint him. self to a head
 "Iv coorse. Hinnissy. that was sor- row iv tn diplomats an they had other griefs. It was hard to dance tn two-
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-01-20
BY F. F. DUNNE.
ulnuaulAulHuE UTTI0Ilanl


 5ryrixht, 1907. by H.sH. Mcclure and X Company) {x See. said MT. Dooley, they've < us new Ambassadure firm Eng [ don't invy tn poor man." Int 1t a good job?" asked MT. Hem MI used to be-" said MT. Dooley. Tt
 r to be a fine job, if ye were tired
 needed rest Nawthin' to do all # but kick because Joe Cannon was Einto dinner ahead iv ye an dacidin' H re wear tn green an yellow pants E<h pale blue knee brooches to tn
 te House. Hogan says he see tn
 omafs together wan time in Wash Tn. There was a few white men Ing thim but tn rest looked like a ter iv tn Knights iv tn Goolden
 {colored) on Emancipation Day,
 n thim good old times tn foreign
 ons sint us f'r a diplomat some
 Ek they cudden't use at home an
 sint thim th' same an nanny ig
 n. They shipped us tn mimber of hoble but rayjooced family with a
 fnche that looked well on parade
 bad in tn coffee. an had a fine
 tv conversation just tn same as a
 post. We handed thim back a
 lnguished statesman who owned a
 Thing store an fourteen votes an Inore in tn Thirtieth Congressyonal Xhrfct iv Ioway If he had amy Xe votes he'd stay at home an get I'd Sheriff or Coroner or 70 some 1F office iv honor.
 Xayether side got tn betther iv tn It was a case all around iv Ibsin' iv what Armour wud call tn @4product. We made an Ambassa- & to Europe iv what was left over Aer tn nommynation iv a Congress- n{ If he was goin' to England he sf know tn name iv Shakespeare he 44t an have an eye r-ready to leak naintion iv that great pote. Tn uD climate iv tn British Isles is 7& to succission iv American Am 14Rdures weepin' at cornerstone lay |@An' tn xenin' iv libries. Whin tn 1e come %ss rayturn tn complimint q r-read s8 h pa-aper: "Sir Ali Or ID, Consul aS. Coontown on tn East ast. in a disgrace with tn Govern nt fir his attentions to a lady that considered a sthrikin' brunette even sunny Africa. Tn Cabinet is detar ned to punish him severely an he 3 been appointed Ambassador to tn lfted States He come over here an tyed a few years. His first act on ldia was to file a giniral demurrer tn counthry an its inhabitants 1ich he filled out in detail later on. wrote home to Chipping Norton m time to time regretting that he nawthin' to eat but canvasback cks an terrypin. an that ye cuddent q any viggytable marrow, let alone n1xles, in this degraded counthry. fher awhile he set down an sint ter iv advice on American polly Ixz to an innocint searcher afther
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-01-20
'MR. COOLEY ON DIPLOMACY


slice iv this here pie, an be quick about it or I'll blow ye'er black head off, That was unpleasant, but tn life gin,- rally was a cheerful wan, an If they cud read tn pa-apers they often knew what they wer doin'.
 But 'tis all changed now. Tn Am bassadure has no snap. He's got to keep thrained to tn minnyit. an whin he goes up to tn White House he wears fightin' thrunks undher his uny- form an carries tennis bats. fencin masks, wrestlin' togs. an boxin' gloves in his bag. Whin tn Prisidint come into office he looked tn Diplomatic Corps over an says he: They need healthful exercise. They ar-re an anemic lot An thin ye began to read in tn pa-apers: Tn arrival iv Baron Speck von Sternburg as German Am bassadure at Wash'nton has sint thrill through diplomatic circles FIT a long time tn infloonce iv Germany has been wanin.' The former Ambas- sadure was larned man, but tn most exercise he iver took was polish inS his eyeglasses. Tn German Inn pror was in despair fir tn Fr-rinch Ambassadure Mossoo Jusserand was at tn White House ivry day conductin important negotiations with a tennis bat in tn back yard. Tn Fr-rinchman is a fine tenniser, but sthrange to say tn Prisidint can just beat him ivry time. It suddenly occurred to tn kal- ser to sind over Speck, who Is wan W tn best soordsmen in tn German army. Tn change was instantanyous. Yister- day th' Fr-rinch Ambassadure was seen weepin' and beatin' on tn White House dure with a tennis bat while tn German Ambassadure made races at him through tn window Baron Speck has lest wan ear fr tn father-
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-01-20
pLENTY OF NITROGEN.
Supply from the Atmosphere Alone
 Practically Ine1haustible.

Practically Inexhaustible. Chicago Cronicle.
 It has been estimated that in France alone the amount of nitrogen yearly taken from the soil is 600,oO0 tons and not much more than one-half of this is returned to the soil In stable man. ure. Let it be assum d. for the pur- nous of argument. that those countries employing ntrogenous fertilizers use during each year 5.0oO,00O tons of nj trogen.
 This seems to be fairly liberal esti- mate judging from the above figure regarding France and the fact that during 1905 1,5OOOO0 tons of nitrate of soda were employed throughout the world. On this basis it is easily seen that there Is no danger of impover- ishing the atmosphere. for the atmos- pheric pressure at sea level cores" ponds to about eleven pounds of nitro- gen a square inch. or say 1.500 pounds a square foot. or 20.000.o0o tons a square mile.
 Each square mile of the earth's sur face has above it enough nitrogen to supply the entire world for five years on the basis assumed above and since the entire surface of the earth is not much short of oO0OO.0O0 square miles the world can go on abstractng ni- trogen a this rate for about 1000. 900 years before reducing the quantity In the atmosphere one-tenth per cent.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-01-20

It includes the following young noble- men who are either peers or heirs to peerages who will attain their major ities during the year:
 Lord Leven and Melville Scottish peer Lord Holmpatrick and Lord Tor rington, who both have seats in the House of Lords, Lord Cochrane. the heir of Lord Dundonald, the Hon. Paul Methuen, Lord Methuen's oldest son; Lord Clifton, the heir of Lord Darn leigh; Sir Otway Graham-Toler. first heir and heir presumptive to Lord Nor bury who is unmarried, and Lord Crichton Stuart, youngest brother and heir of the Marquis of Butte. one of the richest peers in England.
 The ideal home of the future will be built of porcelain. It is now pos sible to build cheap, simple and san itary houses with sheets of porcelain instead of brick and to dispense with paint, wall paper and spring cleaning.
 The porcelain used for building thls utopian house is produced by new method in sheets about an inch thick but as strong as a brick wall. It is composed of a mixture of Devonshlre and Cornish clay and stone with French flint boulders in certain pro portion. By special machinery the raw material Is worked into a liquid state then pressed and rolled into sheets.
 i When dry the sheets can be decora- ted in coiors by hand or by printing process. The final process is the giaz- ing and firing used in the ordinary potter's, trade.
 walls reduce building construction. ex- terior and interior decoration to sim plieity itself.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-01-20
ChilIs and Fever Cured
Miss May Coyne, a prominent young woman of St. Louis. Mo-, who was a great sufferer from malaria, chilIs and fever, was cured by DUFFY'S PURE MALT WHISKEY.

"I was a great sufferer for many months from Malaria, ac- companied occasionally by chills and fever, brought on from living in swampy section of the coun- try. I tried numerous remedies, with little or no result. A friend advised me to try DUFFY'S MALT WHISKEY, with the re- suit that 1 am now enjoying per feet health, and do cheerfully re- commend it to any one suffering from this disease. Any one is at liberty to write to me as to the good DUFFY $ MALT WHIS- KEY has done me.
 Hoping this will be of good to some one, 1 am, MISS MAY COYNE, 2930 Lucas Ave, s. Louis, Mo-, Nov 1st, 1906."
 Miss May Coyne joins the thou sands of men and women who have been cured by this great fam fly medicine, and of her own free will is anxious to tell the people what it has done for her.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-01-20
Duffv's Pure Malt Whiskey

vigu
 
  eDufys  and has always been { contain CAUTIONWhen you your druggist grocer or dealer Tor Dufy Pure Whsey you the genuine It's the one absolutely pure medicinal wskey and sold only sealed bot es never in bulk Look for the the old Chemist the label the seal e cork unbroken Price gOO medical booklet and doctor advice free Duffy Malt Whiskev Co., Rochester. N Y
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-01-20
DUCHESS OF DEVONSHIRE
 IS THE MRS. ASTOR OF ENGLAND
mRm MTWHMMw EMmHmImgMnmBm wHHmaMuwHMH@N@H @HmHmlA A

in any legislation that is presented to the House.
 The main objection on the part of the Jewish population is that 1t would give to them a sectional character which they do not desire as they wish to show that in all matters save that of religion they are animated by the same patriotic ideals as their Christian countrymen.
 Singularly enough practically all the Jewish members, who number sixteen. four conservatives and twelve liberals, represent constituencies which contain few or no Jewish voters.
 One of the youngest, MT. Herbert Samuel, occupies the important post of Assistant Secretary of State for Home Affairs.
 The proposition to abolish the cus- tom of kissing the debutantes which is maintained at the Irish court Is being again brought forward, but the idea will probably soon be dropped as to do away with the custom would i'm volve a lot of red tape and necessitate a special permission from the King.
 The custom was introduced by a sov- ereign whose admiration for Irish beau- ty was very great.
 endeavored to put an end to the cus- tom as he used to say that to be bound to give each fair lady a peck on the check as she made her first bow always made him feel such a fool.
 Lord Crewe during his term also thought of abolishing the custom and his friends still tell good story of an unusually nervous Irish girl who when she had received her salute on the cheek deliberatively turned the other.
 Lord Crewe, however, was equal to fAA arad at fNryfth net fa fnc I1n litter which went around the viceregal circle gallantly imprinted a second kiss and fatherly pat on the shoulder.
 The list of available titles for Amer ican heiresses in 1907 Is a long one.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-01-20

 again for
 
  COMPANY
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-01-20

two years suffered excruoating pains in the shoulders caused by muscular rheumatism kept using linments the pains continued to increase Finally decided to try S. S. s. and after using several bottles had pain. To make sure however, con- tinued your medicine for awhile after all symptoms of disappeared Although this was twelve years ago, have never been troubled stnce
 2o9 Liberty Street, Hopkinsville, Ky. O. E. WEST.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-01-20
RHEUMATISM aa1 sa6sa 4zzese zeaa MUSCLES DRAWN AND STIFF
 EVERY JOINT A SEAT OF PAIN

that produced by the infammatory form, the disease is really deeper seated, and because of the stiffened condition of the muscles and fragments, is very inconvenient to the suf- ferer. But the worst form of the disease is
 known as Articular Rheumatism. The bones and joints become affected, and every
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-01-20

The two great turbine liners of the C.lnard line which have been subsi- dized by the British admiralty are in- tended to act as food transports in the event of an attack on the English coasts.
 Their displacement of 10000 tons and their speed of twenty-five knots make them specially fitted for quick pas sages with large cargoes of food stuffs. If ever called upon to perform this duty the two Cunarders would be es- corted by cruisers of the Invincible class, now building which are specially designed for great speed for this duty.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-01-20

Poor man; why he is lying there Tt was caused by an automobile passing
 Struck him%
 "Yes, after it had passed" 'Tmpossible" overcame him.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-01-20
Eel Pie In Denmark.

Denmark, for reasons partly of gas tronomy and partly of trade. Is dis tressed at the aversion shown by the eel for it's shores. The fish is now. and for some years has been abandoning the Little Belt in great numbers for the Atlantic-never to return People are beginning to ask themselves if the taste of eel pie Is to vanish from Den mark forever. An icthyologist who has spent some time In observing the creatures has come to the conclusion that thev always glide off in dark wa ters. This has suggested the bright idea of running a deep sea cable along the track most frequented by the emi- grants and lighting the water up with electric lights so as to fascinate the fish into remaining where they are.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1907-01-29
New York Markets.


FLOUR steady. but duii. M.nnesota
patents, uioutn. winter stralEhta. ut0n
40. winter extras. tS.p3. winter pat.
enta. q sor1G
WHEAT Market was lower under ,as,
Liverpool cables liberal worlds ship.
tine strike. May, S'spsi Bile: July,
Nsr
HuTTER-crcamsry. common 90 extra
s21.lc held. common % extra. slrplc
state dairy. common % nfHta. sHslr
renovated, common 20 extra, isIaitc
western factory, common o. hfHis, h's1
CHEESE = steady 90 nrm; state. ful
cram IN. small g,d 1sS srs' sPis so1 az 2
prime. ists1ilc winter made. average
best. iec Inferior iiuisr skins. suiic
EGGS - Firm. state. i.nnsYltnnlH nnd
nearby. fancy. frlcctrd. white. a.c.'
choice. EHIlc.. mixed. extra. fHiir.
PoTAToEs- Firm. Bermuda per bar.
rel q t1Hii0. Maine. pr hlg. 81 SOLD.
l.onE Island. pr barrel. 81 - state
jersey ana western. pcr sack. " -
sweets nrm. Nine,anid, Pr barrel YOU
CARRIAGES Steady white Danish
seed per ton iilai5. rcd falHA
TALLOw-Firm. city. ca-isc.. country
iiAY-Easy; shipplnE. 5'saSci good iS
sTRAw-stsady. long 10. eeaiec
uEANH-Quict. marrow. g ~. mo
dlum. No. pca. n.cni.t''s. ri kidney
m
HOPS Quiet, state. common 81 choice
iaa isn.lc tHG. suiir.s fnrihc coast
i.a tl1iar 1910 infiilC
LIVE POULTRY Quiet bot steady
fowls i1c Old fnnatcfF. o. rhirhrna u
ai1c ducks. ii9itc. geese. i1Niic. tur'
biiLssfb POULTRY Steady and In
fair demand. fowls. choice. iic. DO, fnii
10 good tsitni1itri old ruuHtrfa. SIC
nearby chickens tluiic do. western. II
Git5c nearby turkeys. chnlrc 10 fancy
ieff Nc do. western. ikuifr nearby
by geese. louie do. western fNioc.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1907-01-29
OVERTAXED
Hundreds Of fsnnlrg'on Readers
Know What Il Means.

The kidneys are overtaxed; -.
Have too much 10 do.
They tell about u In many achesand
palms
Backache, sidesche. headache;
Early symptoms Of kidney Ills.
Urlnary troubles, diabetes, Brights
disease follow.
A bennington citizen tells here a
certain curc.
Alphonsc Lapoini, teamster. living
AZ 3l7l school street, bepnington'
says: "For two years | vas subject
10 attacks Of pain In my back. always
sorse during the night, aud ! arcs,
mornings feeling tired and lame.
Lifting, STOPPING, or Any extra strain
on the muscles Of my back was sure 10
bring sharp twinges procured n
box Of Doan's Kidney Pills at Shurt.
lef's drug store and in = few days !
could tell they were acting directly 90
he kidneys. When the first box vas
zone procured a second and the use
~ this absolutely stopped the trouble.
know Of many others In our neigh
borhood who have used Deans Kid
ney Pills With good results"
For sale by all dealers. Price 20
cents. Foster.Milburn CO., Buffalo.
New York, sole agents for the United
States.
Remember the e-Doan's-and
AXE no other.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1907-01-29

To stop a Cold with "Preventics" Il
safer than TO let IL RON aud cure IL az
forwards. Taken at the "sneeze stage
Prsyentics will head OF all colds and
Grippe, and perhaps save you from
Pneumonia or Bronchitis. Prevention
are little toOthsome candy cold cure
tablets selling Ia cent and % cen,
boxes. II you are chilly, II you begin
TO snecze. Try Preyentics. They will
surely check the cold. and please you.
Sold by Joseph ~. Ayres.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1907-01-29
TALEsMAN DROPPED DEAD.
franklin Reeves Expires In Court
During Horner Murder Trial.

FRANKLIN neeteb Etptfts IN tOuFt
During Horner Murder Trial.
RIVERHEAD, N. Y, Jan. 29.-Dur-
ing the examination Of talesmen ut the
trial of DR.. James w, Simpson, prom
inent dentise here, for the murder of
his father-in-law, BARLEY Horner, Il
wealthy contractor of Northport, who
was shot TO death by Simpson at his
home Dec. u, 1905, Franklin Reeves "A
talesman, suddenly expired of heart
disease.
1t Is said that the prosecution viii
call the defendants wife and his moth
er-ln.law to testify as TO bad blood that
is alleged to have existed between the
dentist and Horner prior TO the shoot
Ing. Simpson has maintained from the
day he was arrested over q year ago
that, although he held the gun from
which the fatal shots were fired. the
shooting Of his fatber-in-law was acct
dental.
While the prisoner was In the cold,
damp lookup Of Northport awaiting ex'
animation by Justice OF the Pence
Charles Il. Partridge II Is said he sent
appeal after appeal to his wife begging
her TO come to him. Bereft OF friends
at that time left him desolate indeed,
and he had no funds with which TO EN-.
gage counsel. Mrs. Simpson sent a
note to him containing the following
curt and significant words, II was al.
legged:
Explain TO me why you took the
gun upstairs and then brought II down.
stairs again, and then ask me to come
to you"
Dr. Simpson. II Is said, did not reply.
His wife will he the prosecutions star
witness,
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1907-01-29
SENECA BUILDING GONE.
Three Firemen Dead In Ruins of mis-
Fire at BunaIo.

BUFFALO. Jan. % Buried under
tons OF ice coated debris of the eight
story Seneca building at lOl-lO9 Sen
eca street. destroyed by fire here. three
firemen are probably dead or 50 badly
injured that they will die before aid
can reach them.
About twenty firemen. including the
three missing men. were on the roof
Of the Haywood building the first
structure 10 the east OF the Seneca,
fighting against a spread OF the flames.
when two thick brick walls Of the Sen.
eca building collapsed. Tons Of debris
from the crumbllng walls crashed
down upon the roof Of the lower Hey
wood building. going through the roof
and carrying floor after floor Into the
basement
Not one Of the twenty men escaped
without some injury. but half OF them
were able 90 fight their way out and
10 give aid 10 their less fortunate com.
rades. Gangs OF men were nc once put
10 work clearing away the wreckage
and resculng the imprisoned hrcmen.
and all hut three ~ their number were
released aud hurried to hospitals. Al
Of them were painfully injured. The
rcscuers worked In relays under super.
vision ~ chief Mcconnell. hut no trace
Of the missing men could be found.
The loss Il S5O0.0O0. The heaviest
losers are: The Jewett cstQie. owners
% the Seneca building. Si25.OoO: Burt
4 Sindele. candy manufacturers. $40.
90; Walsh Bros.. liquor dealers. So.
ON. and Haywood Bros. 4 Wakefield.
furniture. $1,000