Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1907-02-17

LITTLE JAMES

,Some remarks on the general sub
iect of The decline OF forensic oratoryD
Orrytorv was tn Ort Of Spell Bindin'
People. TIL Orignle Orryter was ole
Greak which was called Demothknees.
what had sich a Flow Of Words at
they got damned together in his
mouth like people in a Pannick in Il
Theeter an cuddent git out SOS at
Demothknees got a Repetishun as a
Sufferer He went to see a Doctor
about it an IN Doctor he SEE you're
all rite. only you got to keep your
I.angwidge in some sort O order soft it
can't get Confessed like this. You
ort to Damn it up in your Mouth SOS
it won't try to get out all at Wunst
SO he tOIe DemOthknees to fill his
mouth with tn Pebbles of tn Beech.
an then turn his Orryto-y Loose an
let her go. Tn Resipe worked all Rite
fer when tn Words was filtered down
through tn Pebbles they cuddent rush
so fast an they came out SOS at
y 5mOthknees he don't SHUTTER no
more.
This here Stutterin' of tn Mouth
is a CRATE Handycap fer tn Oryter. but
it aint near so Fatle to his Success as
when he gifts afflicted with a Stutterin
in the Branes. / been out to tn Leg
islater last week an I felt offal sorry
for some Of tn Oryters l seen there. I
asst my Paw if they wasn't no way TO
cure these here Victums an he sez
they aint none an if they was. il
would be a Affrunt to Divine Prov
dsnce to do it fer If God haddent n
wanted EN- that away he'd "a made
EN- diffrunt. I asst him how it would
work If tn Legislauf Orryters would
have Pebbles in their Mouths. He seZ
at mebby If they was euuff of tn Peb-
bles it would help. some. but he was
afeard at they wuddent entirely Per
vent tn Sound EScapin. Nuthin' but a
resler Gag like tn BURGERS uses
would AFFORD tn Ogience complete
Relief. or he SCI Pebbles might be
all Rite If they was used in tn Rite
place, an applied to the Sect Of tn
Trubble. Demothknees used 'em in his
Mouth. In this here case they ort to be
put into tn Craynums
Domothl-nces got to be q Statesman
i'm spite of bein' Or-yter fer it aint
often at a man what spends more time
a talkin' n he does a 'Thinkin' gets so
high up but Demothitnees was a Elk
cepshun. Demothknees he got it in
fer a Teller called FilIp tn
McAdoon. which was also n
Horse fancier and he made
speeches against him sayin' at he was
tryin' to get to be a Monopoly OF every
thing an was cornerin' tn Peoples
Freedoms an Liberties an he Sot out
to Bust this here FLIP Trust an Re
dooce tn price Of Ralerode fares frum
Sinnosefalus To Athens TO cents a
mile. These Speeches was called
Fillipics becos FLIP was tn Subjeck
of this here ANIMATED Discushun by
Demoth6nCes an ever sense then when
a Orryter roasted anybody tn Roast's
been called a PHILIPPE by his frens an
a TRADE by tn frens o tn man what's
been Roasted. So its pretty hard to
tell a Tirade frum a Fillipic. Thev's
only wun way to DO it an that's BY
Poplar Vote.
asst my Paw IL they is Orryters like
they Ust to be an he seq no. at they're
passin' away before tn onward March
OF Civilazashun an at he thinks after
while they'll git to be Extinck like tn
Dodo Bird. Orrytory he seq. ust to be
important Feecher % Legislatif
bodies. but its so near gone now at
You seldom see any 'cept Roodimentry
Traces of it in Legislators an now
an then Member Of Congress which
has jist come in fresh from a country
Debatin' Society or Library" as it's
called tries 10 Revive Orrytory. but
they soon set the Harness on him an
he quiets down. TIL Legislators about
tn only place where you're sure to
find specimens Of Orryters anv more.
LITTLE JAMES.