Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1907-05-09
Uncle Dlcky on Ebert Hubbard.


eyspy meetins?o, inquired Bert, as the old
fellow entered the grocery store with his
pipe freshly lighted and a oomical counte-
nance on him instead Of the serions face
with which be departed the evening when
he almost preached sermon to preachers.
Nav, but | heerd anuther Teller lectur'
in til 'Cademy o MUSIC Mondy night on
doctors, lawyers an preachersp.
We'll, w'ot didie think nv his talk
didie git ez bad stuck on him ez " did TIL
gypsy?'', asked Uncle Sam, throwing an
old cud into the stove.
ssT' tell th' truth an shame th' Ole Boy,
must say he didn't come up t TIL gypsy,
IN my way O. thinkin' he replied, sett-
ling away on nail-keg for his evening con-
rersazione.
~, see this Hubbard Teller got + be some
punkins tn last zen er dozen years a-print-
in paper called The Fgll-a-steen, b'lieve,
an writin' somethin' erbout carryin' th'
cabbage T. Gomez er Garshay er some SIGH
named Teller an besides this here writin'
he's writ lot O Little Journeys & tn
homes o. lot o. fellers an wimmen w'ot's
bin dead hundreds an thousands o. years
ergo don't see how he done it but he
jist writes ez Ell he WIZ right there wen il
all happened specially w'ot happened +
th' wimmen in ther loye affairs.
I think th' TELLER is kinder stuck on TIL
wimmen anyway fer hes got new one his
self an all his ole ones haint dead yit.
He wears big wide extra trimmed
Quaker hat w'ot makes his face look kinder
womany an his hair is long like gals
Wien she is gettin over th' typhoid fever
an had T. have er hair cut. His necktie
wuz big like woman's an | guess it all
inter account be is womany Teller any
how.
But til twenty one hundred folks he he'd
Il his lectur WIZ erbout hat be an hat
she--I guess coz vile he looks she be talks
he talk, an so he ketches men an wimmen
both at thousand dollars night!
Then Wanamaker's manager spoke up:
"Dicky, we're getting tired listening to
your opinions-why don't you tell US some
Of the things be said and LET US judge for
ourselves?
s.All right, Chod, kin do that, too, now
listenl-
s'Cropsey got the promise Of $3.50 year
preaching and he turned hereto he gets
thousand dollars night for lecturing.
They take us to hospitals to remove our
appendix, giys Us cocaine and extract our
pocketbooks. =
mo man has insomnia who has to get up
at six o'clock.
Anything you own that you do not use
owns you.n
zone horseshoe is sign Of good luck
but wagon load Of them is just junk =
THE Christian religion and the Christ
religion are totally different =
s'The clergyman rides on child's ticket
but he is not child-s except in intellect. "
The useful is the sacred - everything
that ministers to the wants Of humanity is
sacred
Law is she judges opinion OF the law
and opinions change as public opinion
changes
Doctors take the scab off the sore Of
sick COW and inject into a well man to
keep him from getting sick
GAS long as we pay s14,Ooo,0oo year
for vaccination, the doctors will find it
necessary for US TO dig up.p
Ben Franklin founded the University
of Pennsylvania, but one hundred and
fifty years haye not produced a man equal
to its founder"
ANY one who gets the study habit will
become distinguished person. =
In 1876 we discovered the typewriter
and the typewritist who has produced lot
Of domestic disoord.
III Mary Queen Of Scots had stayed q
few minutes longer in that room alone with
John Knox there would not have been any
Princeton College, DR.. Mccosh nor Grover
Cleveland.
We areShow solving a very old religion
the religion Of Jesus Of Nazareth, Of SER
yice-a religion that has never been tried
the religion Of humanity, learning TO live
here and now
s'We think not the less Of Jesus when
we recognize His humanity and our own
divinity"
Then Chod spoke up:
s'Look out, DickY, yo'H get to preaching
again, like you did when you got back
from hearing Gypsy Smith, if You quote
much more Of Hubbard'a lecture. =
Well, dunno, = replied the old man,
'.bus / don't think preachin' u hurt any
body in this crowd; 'sr any other ct they Il
only git . practicin'.
This here Hubbard Teller hez ez good q
| riphs e preach in his own way ez th, fellers