The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1907-06-14
FARCE COMEDY ENACTED
ON CROWDED STREETCAR
yppbriated lriShman Carries a
Sucking Pig in a Bandana
Handkerchief.

car load of passengers, mostly
ladies, bound cityward from Murray.
few evenings ago, were treated TO
a farce.comedv which threw them into
state OF creaming h0arity which, in
one instance, at least. resulted in posi-
tive bystcria,
The actors in this rip-roaring per-
Torrance were a big freckled Irish
man, hilariously drunk. and dimiuu-
tive pig with a positively uncontrol.
able thirst for sweet milk. The
"props'' included a IMPLIED nursing
bottle and a red bandana handkerchief.
The crowded car was about 10 start
from Murray when the "leading
man entered with startling precipit
ancv. He was in the middle Of the
aisle, stumbling over the feet of the
indignant passengers, almost before
anyone realized that he was in their
midst; aud his ludicrous and eXagger.
atcd good nature in attempting to ex-
tricate himself from the multiplicity
of troubles which his feet got him into
at once threw the crowd into a state
of rollicklng good nature which perfect
" fitted it for the full enjoyment Of
the show that was on tap and about
TO be dished up.
When thc rampant son Of old Ireland
had paid his hob.nailed attention 10
the whole line of passengers. with rare
lmpartiality overlooking none, wine
dealer named Law graspcd him by the
foundation of the overalIs and yauked
him into Il seat Just vacated by him
self out of consideration for the lives
and limbs of his fellow voyagers.
Throughout all these preliminaries
the frolicsome inebriate had been noted
30 hold under his right arm, wrapped
in n red bandana handkerchief, a bum
die about the size of cigar box, upon
which he bestowed an occasional
carcss. when not too busy cndeavonng
10 regain his fickle equilibrium. This
bundle, therefore, became an object of
the most engrosslng interest on the
part of the passengers, especially when
its custodian, now firmly anchored for
the trip TO town and no longer to be
considered as menace, began TO pat
1T with tender awkwardness and call II
pet names culled from the vocabulary
of the nursery and the cradle.
upon my soul, he S got n baby!
cried n fat lady. who was still nursing
Il crushed corn and screaming with
laughter as the comedy developed
"Its a downright shame. declared
another. through her tears. maybe
he S an abductor. He ought TO be
arrested.
All the while the smirking Hibcr-
nian continued to fondIe the bundle
under his arm and call il ''tootsey,'
popsy-wopsy, etc.
When the strain of curiosity had
all but reached the breaking point.
Mr.. Law bore down upon the bearer of
the red bundle, ripped aside the hand
kerchief and exposed TO view-a suck
ling pig!
Then the pandemouium broke loose
in that car. reaching its climax when
the proprietor of the pig. evidently
highly elated with the demonstrative
approval of his audience drew a nurs-
ing bottle from his hip pocket and
shook its creamy contents teasingly be
fore the greedy eyes of "Tootsy.
And don I get ii into your mind
that "Tootsy' wasn't "tbere like
duck He nailed the nipple of that
bottle and. as he abstractcd the lac.
teal fluid therefrom, he gave a now
hysterical audience a wall-eyed cxhibi.
tion of bliss unspcakable that merited
all their plaudits.
BY the time the corner of Second
South and State streets was reached
half the women were hysterical. 4
Mrs. Simmons was positively prostrat-
ed and as Mr.. Law and another gentle.
man escorted her 10 drugstore for
repairs, the pig and its foster mother
disappeared III the gathering gloom.