The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1907-08-02
the BOSS BARBER
ON a VACATION

Il IN Just D2ck from the nrSt Naca-
ton I've had for IA years" said a
middle aged boss barber, whose shop
is i'm the financial district. Went
down with pneumonia a couple of
months ago, and the doctor man sent
me to Atlantic City to rest and pick
up.
Now. l don't get away often, but
when | do | kind o. like to swell
around some and forget that | ever
was a barber. Well, | struck a snag
at that this time.
Went into the barber shop of one
of the boardwalk hotels one forenoon
TO get shave. Felt a bit peevish
and cranky that morning, maybe be-
cause I'd been playing two bits limit
for five hours the night before with
out ever pulling anything better than
two pairs.
The barber in whose chair | sat
wore a Van Dyke beard, and that
didn't add to my good nature. | like
to see clean shaven BARRIERS: whisk-
cred BARRIERS make me tired, and |
wouldn't have one around my shop
if he'd work for nothing.
Razor hurt? the man shaving me
asked me after he'd made a few
passes with the blade.
"'Yes, it does, replied right off
the bat It's a wonder to me you
BARRIERS wouldn't keep your tools
sharpened up
"I'll try another he came back
good naturally; and, although the
first razor had really been all right,
| told him, when he inquired that the
second one was passable enough.
Rotten weather down here, he
observed, as he plugged along at my
tough beard.
Yep | replied with the air of a
railroad president in barber shop,
who doesn't care much for tonsorial
conversation; it's rotten if you say
So
Raw deal, this weather, on the
landlord folks down here he COM
mented, and | saw that he was one
of the hard To- crush kind.
"'Um,' | replied, but | wish you'd
try to keep some of that lather out
of my mouth. | don't enjoy the taste
Of it right on top of my breakfast.
The Vandyked barber grinned
pleasantly and went on with his job.
This u be queer old world with
out BARRIERS, wouldn't it?' he surprised
me by saying after a pause of a min
ute or so.
oh, | don't know | told him. 1
think it d be a first rate world with
out EN-. There'd be a whole lot less
unnecessary conversation, for one
thing.
We'll, instead of looking subdued,
blamed if that fool barber didn't
laugh right out at that squelcher of
mine.
"'Oh, WELL he replied, with his un-
damned flow of cheerfulness, some
of us have got to be BARRIERS, of course.
Pretty punk business, at that
Well, it sure is, | replied. Seems
to me that any young fellow of spunk
and grit and ambition would rather
drive a truck or carry the he'd any
time than be barber
THAT got another series of chuckles
out Of my Vandyked barber. He
chuckled so continuously, in fact,
that it grated upon me, and | half sat
mp in the chair and glared at him.,
which only caused him to chuckle the
more.
"'Say you | said to him, L want
you to cut out that fool tittering and
let me get out of here, | said to him,
then. L don't visit barber shops for
the fun of the thing. I'd never go
near one of the blamed places If |
didn't have to- which was no lie.
Now hurry up and get through and let
me break out of here
Shampoo? he asked me.
"'No.'
Hair singed?'
"'Nol'
"'Hot towels?
"'No,'
"'Vibrator on your head"
"'No!'
"'Tonic?'
No, no, no.
"'Powder on your face|
mo- | sawled at him. Just pull
this apron from around my neck and
lemme out of here. I'd rather spend
a day in jail than a quarter of an hour
in barber shop
We'll, that grinning barber chap
almost fell down from internal laugh
ter as he pulled the napkin and apron
from around me. | hustled on my
collar and tie and coat and hat and
paid him, and | was just about MAX
ing for the door when he said:
"'How's things down on Broad
street, boss?'
"'Broad street?' | said to him,
wheeling around. What Broad street?