The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1907-07-13

Ine husband who never goes ont do.
serves a wife who never STAYS in.-Ths
Cynic. nc
lis Willie still paying attention to
nuiie' NO" did he tilt herY"
NO. ne married her Punch.
Anna, you wished to buy a diction.
ary" I have married a professor
instead -Meggendorfer Blaetter.
Look. Arthur, that is our BABY
How do you known II recognize
the back of our nurse."-Der Wahra
Jacob.
Madge- she a good memory?
Mar]orie-So-so. She's always remem-
oering things she's forgotten Town
Topics
Sne-You can always tell a Harvard
man. He (from New Haven)-Yes:
but you can't tell him much.-Harper's
Weekly.
Mater-What lis 1t, pa? Has Henry
been expelled Pater-Worse! He
writes that he's going to take female
part In the college play-Puck.
rs her husband so upendurably stu
pidT' "Oh, dreadful. The only time
ne brightens up is when she talks of
divorce !"-Seattle Post-Intelligencer.
Harker-Slowboy is all right, when
1t comes to looking ahead. Parker
Yes; but he's all wrong when it comes
10 going ahead.-Chicago Daily News.
The society reporters always speak
OF bride being "led to the altar" just
as though bride couldn't find her way
there blindfold.-Philadelph Ledger.
II hear you are having trouble in
meeting your creditors" Trouble in
meeting 'em? Great Scott! My trou-
BILE is lodging m."-Cleveland Leader.
Politician-Before you send in your
report of this interview l want to see
it. Reporter sent it in
half an hour before 1 interviewed you !!
Life.
Sapleigh-I'm learning to play the
aw-harp, doncher know. Miss Caus-
tique-Indeed! Has your physician
given up all hopes?-Chicago Daily
News
pardon me, sir, but isn't there an
other artist in this building" Artist
We'll, that is a matter Of opinion.
There is another fellow who paints
The Model.
my mistress isn't at home, ma'am.'
| r, xxyho 7 co
ing from the front window as 1 came
up, I felt 50 afraid she was."-Balti-
more American.
Judge Prisoner, have you anything
to saw to the court before sentence is
pronounced? Prisoner beg the court
to consider the youth of my attorney.
White and Black.
when your mother-in-law fell into
the water, why didn't you help to get
her sout?' my dear madam, you must
know that nothing I've ever done has
pleased her:"-Judy.
Mabel shocked with the recollection
If ft)-Isn't Edith's new hat just hor-
rid fright? Ethel Gas If receiving con-
gratulations)- it, I helped her
select ft,-Browning's Magazine.
First Reporter see by the last edi-
lion that our old schoelmate, Jones,
has committed suicide. Second Re
porter-Hurry down and you may be
| In time to prevent his doing ft-Smart
Set.
Money doesn't always bring happi-
ness and peace Of mind" you are
right there" answered the man with
nm anxious look. sometimes It tempts
Won to buy automobiles "-Washington
Star.
| There are nervous women; there are
hyper-nervous women. But women 30
nervous that the continual rustic OF
s,lk skirt makes them nervous-no,
there are no women SO nervous as tnat'
i-Fliegende Blaetter.
Man Ito a friend)-I am done with
doctors henceforth! One Of them al
vised me to sleep with my windows
onen. I did so, and the very next
morning my gold watch was gone from
the bureau.-Fliegende Blaetter.
.sWhy have you taken your son OUT
NJ school without permission" Father
4. procer)-But they were running
him wish to bring him up to carry
IN INV business, and they were teaching
h,r, that there are sixteen ounces In o
nound.-Il Motto per Ridere.
rhe wealth of Nations.