Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1907-01-31
What 10 ~ p,oman'a ?

by continued and close application t.
the study OF Il Iariic,: ali subject. n
Singular case VAS re, sE,ly reported
fro.n Germany.
y well known professor WIS funnl
to have transferred TO his own private
collection lnany of tie valuable butter.
fiias OF which he had Charge in his of
fetal capacity.
The existence of mental der. ''.a-
mont was clear from the f.se,s tl.at
came ort in the con" 9 e, " The inNeSt..sl
ton aftc.war,l maze
Ut was found tina, lie D.n"ssenr hr.l
often sent his wife o.. II q; y to catch
butterflies. so intense was his passion
for these insects. On one orea +; II tic
professor. while huntirg II b. ,ce!y.
was nearly run over h, an dXl ress
train; at another time lie f:ll into II
river. and once bo.h he and his wife
fell into a roml.--Boston Transcr ut.
LoseS His Head.
~ Il banquet of clergymen recently.
the subject of al5sent-mintcd people
was under discussion and yarns am
cicnt and of recent origin We're to.,!
Icy St.Ntiil speakers.
1t is seldom that ministers compete
with ore another to tel stories that
task tie crc'lGli;y of their hearers. hut
uion this occasion the Rev. Nr. Dana.
pastor of the Walnut Street Freshly
terrain church. carried off tile hGnDrs.
'riicic was Il physician whose alb
sent mimdCGMess Was SO marked that
it often caused queer complications,
said Dr. DANA. Why when he was
married the minister told him to place
the wedding ring on his brides fin
ger.
lie reached for her, felt her pulse,
and as it was very naturally beating
faster than normal, exclaimed: Let
me see yomr tongue Philadelphia
Record.
California G4llantry.
They told Mc the story OF IL we'll
known gentleman of San Francisco.
who. charging through all TIE smoke
ard flames and litter on The first Gay
eli terror. came upon fashionable lady
Of his acquaintance trudging along the
middle OF the street i'm her bedroom
SHIPPERS with Il window curtain thrown
over her shoulders. He stopped his
automobile to offer her his assistance,
explaining mt the same time that the
auto was all he had saved out of the
wrack and even that had been com
numbered by the soldiery.
III, too. have lost ALL" she sighed.
".sll but your hcauty,' said lie. with
Il collrtly bow.
'-ind YOU all but your gallantry,"
she retortcd smiling.
Potted Revenge
When the social climber heard that
her ultra fashionable rival was to give
the SWEETEST supper of the year her
jealousy knew no bounds. The next
day, however, she was smiling in
wicked triumph.
.Revcngew she whispered. IRE
vcngc is sweet. When that supper
comes off there will not lie II single
guest present.
Gracious" gaspcel her maid. what
has madam donc?"
What have done: Why. l have
with the announcement AMI change
'potted plants to 'potted hams" And
yet they say that women have no
brains.-Chicago Daily News.
Fragment of EARLY History.
Father Marquette had pitched his
tent near the mouth of TIE Chicago
river.
Then he began to fish.
"It's = modest locking stream he
said, 'hut ! predict that before the
twentieth century dawns it will be a
good deal more backward, so to speak,
than it is now"
Rcgrctting that it wasn't 200 years
later, so that he could relieve his feel
ing of inconsistencies by climbing into
Lis automobile and going to see the
"Strects of Paris he asked Fernando
Jones, rs a personal favor, to represent
him at that function and proceeded to
angle for Il mess of ring perch for
diner.--Ch Chicago Tribune.
Rivalry In Big Mansions.
The rivalry of the Pittsburg million
aires manifests itself mostly i'm the
building of vast mansions i'm New York
city. MIR. Carnegie set the pace with
his great house ON upper Fifth avenue.
Then his former employee. MIR. Scllwab.
decided to build a more snowy and
costly establishment on the west side
of the city. Now Mr.. l'rick. who lost
his admiration for Mr. Carnegie Il few
years ago. pays S2,4O0.GDO for the
Lcnox library site on Fifth avenue. he.
tween Seventeen and Seventy First
streets. and Will erect there Il residence
to cost millions.
Johns Explnnation.
".lolin." said Mrs. Noodles savage.y
us John came into the room umsteadily
and hung his collar on the cllandelair.
What time is it?"
Jus o'clock. my dear" replied
John. making IL desperate effort to act
natural.
WHAT do you mean by telling me
such falsehood? / heard the clocl;
strike :, not ten minutes before YOU
came in
'Yes-hic--my dear but you don't
un'stand that clock. It's repeater"
Milwaukee Sentinel.
Tells Which One She 10.
Jack London. the well known
novelist, loves children.
In San Francisco there are two twin
sisters, little girls of 6 years, of whom
MIR. London is very fond.
On the way to his boat one morning
Mr.. London met one of the twins. He
stopped and shook her hand.