The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-01-27

stIngeth like an adder says they. Ye bet We 'er
life | VIII, ladies' says tn Congressman with
slight hiccup. / Will do as We desire A sojer
that will dhrink beer is a disgrace to tn Ameri-
can jag he SAYS We abolished public dhrinkin'
in tn capital he SAYS We done it to make tn
Sinitors unhappy, but thin hardened tools iv
predatory wealth have ordered ink wells made
in tn shape iv decanters. But he SAYS, tn
popular branch iv tn Navtional legislature is
not TO be outdone. e see these panels on tn
wall: ! touch button an out pops bottle v
Bourbon that wud make ye'er eyes dance
Whoop-ee,
So Congress passed bill abolishn' III can
teen. An it's all right now. II a soier wants to
desthroy himsilf he has to walk block. Some
iy me enterprisn colleagues in tn business have
opened places convenient TO tn fort where tn
bold sons iv Mars instead iv tn corroding beer
can get anything firm sulphuric acid to knock
out dhrops. l see wan v thin stockin up at a
wholesale dhrug store last week If the sojers
escape tn Knockout dhrops they come down
Town an Doherty takes care " thin. 4 sojer
gets thirteen dollars a month, we'll say. Twelve
dollars he can devote TO drink an wan dollar
to tn fine. Twelve times eight hundred an
twelve times that-well It's no small item in TIA
coorse Nv year. Whin tn Binivocnt Assocya-
ton iv Saloonkeepers holds its next meeting I'm
goin to propose to sind dillygates to tn Young
Ladies' Chrsyan Timprance Union. 1t ought
to be what the unions call an affiliated organ
ization.
Oh, well, said Mr.. Hennessy, they think
they're dom what's right"
An they ar-re," said Mr.. Doolcy. Yell
not find me defindn' tn selln' iv dhrink to amy
man anywhere. There's no wan that's as much
iv timprance man as man that's been in my
1.,,r+, q I.
out iv dhrinkin' man to escape tn throuble l
have firm dhrunkards. Drinks poison I don't
deny It, I'll admit I'm no betther thin an or
dhinry doctor. Both iv us gives We something
that cures We iv tn idee that tn pain in ye'er
chest is pnoomony iv tn lungs If it really is
pnoomony We 20 off somewhere an lie down an
avcther We cure ye'crsilf iv pnoomony or tn
pnoomonv cures We iv life. Drink niyer made a
man bctthcr. but it has made NANNY man think
he was betther 4 little iv 10 lifts We out ig tn
mud where chance has thrown We. little more
makes We think TIN stains on ve'er coat ar-re
cppylcts. little moro .dhrops ye back into ~
mud again Its frind to Thin that ar-re cold
60 it an an inmy To- those that love it most. It
welcomes thm in an thrps thin as they go out.
/ tell We It's a threacherous dhrug an it oughtn't
TO he given to iyry man. TO get drunk a man
ought first To be examined be his parish priest
to see whether he needs ID an how it's gon TO
affect him. FIR wan man he'd write ON tn pre-
scription Ad ill., as Dock OLearv does whin
he ordhers a mustard plasthor FIR me FIR another
he d write: Three times a day at meals But
most people he wuddent prescribe it f'r at all.
DO blame tn ladies? Faith I do not We
needn't think I'm proud iy me business. / on'y
took to 1t because / am too ianial 10 be a me-
chanic an too tcnder-hearted to be a banker or
a lawyer No. Sir, wuddcn't care a sthraw if
all th' drink in tn wurruld was dumped to-
morrah into III Atlantic Ocean, although f'r a
week or two afther it was I'd have to get me a
diving suit If ! wanted to see anything iv nue.
lrlnl. HMM Las alnnNs hnnn q mn, lar hi..rn.,