The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1907-10-10
HATES TO TESTIFY;
AFFINITY FINDER GOT
HIM A NICE Girl.

Chicago, Oct. TT never had no
idee Of appearin' as a witness afore the
grand jury agin Miss Marion Grey, OF
Elgfn-Cupid's agent. h called her
seif--but the government called me to
Chicago and ! was bound to come.
"The truth Is ! amt got nothin' agin
Miss Grey. She beat me outen IS In
her Search Light Matrimonial bureau
all right. And / amt exactly, as YOU
might say, forgave her for sending O
Photograph Of a city dude fer me to
my intended. But it's all right now
] found the gal for me. / amt never
seen her yit, but she's agreed to marry
me and we're goin' to git hitched az
soon as corn huskin's over.
William Cradle. Sc, of Dearbyn, Mo-.
pulled a home made twist from the
pockets OF his jean rousers and tool
q generous chew as he lounged In the
ing to be called as a witness against
Miss Grey, the finder OF affinities."
He Ia still awaiting the call.
Not Affinity Gal.
Though he admitted Miss Grey had
swindled him in sending fake pic
lures. he looked upon her In the light
Of a benefactor. For she had brought
him into correspondence with Miss Ida
Goforth. IS, Of C~Srsicana, Tex. The
Missourian has forty acres and ten
children back home In Pike county.
do o regard Miss Ida Goforth Of
was asked.
IT don't understand all these here
new tangled Chicago TERMS" he an
swered, u eff you mean Is she my
gal, I don't mind saying that she shore
Is. I amt ashamed to tell that here In
Chicago. for I've done told 1t all over
Missouri"
Mostly DeeoIIete.
After getting his IS Miss Grey de-
clared MI. Cradle a full fiedged mem-
Der Of the Search Light Matrimonial
club" and sent him what purported to
be Miss Goforth's photograph. II was
the picture of an actress running large
ly to Marcel wave and decollete cor
sage. Mr.. Cradle began a correspond
enc with the affinity" that Cupid's
agent had selected for him, and in
time received a photograph Of the
real Miss Goforth.
TT warn't nothin' at all like that
actress party" declared Mr.. Cradle.
1T vas a picter of a fat woman with
corkscrew curls. She was shore purity.
I knowed as soon as I sot eyes on the
picter she war the gal fer me. She's
an. 1 got enough money myself to
keep a wife comfortable, and that's all
/ want"
Hostile to Leanness.
do you prefer a fat or a lean affn-
ity?" Mr.. Cradle was asked.
II like a fat GAL" he declared en-
p~hatically. Pm lean myself and I hate
the sight about the house of a woman
that's nothin' but skin and bones"
Il went to see a fortune teller as
soon as / struck Chicago" he contin-
ued. He called himself st. John the
Twelfth. He sartinly told me some
amaZin' things. Why he even told mo
Of a near and dear relative that was
killed by a mule around corn plantin'
time last spring. The way that mule
kicked my dear relative and drug him
around a ten-acre lot was scandalous.
Bay Mules In Action.
But the best thing st. John the
Twelfth toll me was that I was a-Roin'
to get spliced to Miss Ida Coforth OF
Corsicana, Tex. He says says he,
You air a-goin' to marry, a stout:
blonde, middle aged lady DO you
suppose avs I, that can be Miss Ida
Goforth of Corsicana, Tex?' That's her
name says st. John, and he goes Off
into a sorter trance and spells 1t out
fer me. I'm goin' to hitch up my span
O. bay mules as soon as I git home
and drive down to Texas and git. that
GAL"