Free press., 1907-10-26

there Wuz Feller- cum walking that way.
What are you doing2" sed he and he
bowed.
then when we toald him. he laffed Oful
loud!
''Whee!' sez he, trying swaIler his laf.
those is thee post-holes for stalking a
calf!''
1--WE wuz gist snaring fer pleasure" sez 1.
oh" sez thee Feller winling his eye.
What dew yew think of us waiting awl
day,
trying 2 snare over post-holes that way?
Fancies.
Some women seem. to think that
the lobe of the ear was made as
receptacle for powder-a- sort of
rouge back-stop, so to speak.
The idea that women should have
seldom hear the poet praising her tiny
feet as of yOre.
young fellow in our town went to
see his lady love the other night and
must have had an interesting time, be-
cause when he had said good-by, he
discovered that her father had bor-
rowed his bicycle TO ride down to the
butcher shop TO get some meat for
breakfast. Deciding to make the best
of il, he accepted an invitation to
break bread with the family, and prom
ised. upon going, to come again when
he could stay awhile.
With the advent of hot weather comes
a more kindly consideration of the
poor country relatives. Maybe if you
fish real lively, you can get an invita-
ton to spend August with them, any
how.
The trouble with woman is that
she always wants everything you do
not want her to have.
Some men enjoy poor health con-
tinually. They are like the little girl
who thought she had chicken-pox be-
cause she found a feather in her bed.
Their imagination works over time
and they take especial delight in tell
ing everybody they meet how bad
their health is. If you are sick, don't
help disease along by harping about it.
Get well if you can, but if you can or
can't, quit whimpering.
We are sorry to hear, as usual, that
the Michigan peach crop has been
ruined by the frost We should feel
somewhat repaid, however, by the
large crop of wilk-weed which assures
US of right prices on lacteaI fluid
An Iowa cornfield got real excited a
few days ago wheA the hot wave
struck it, grew four feet in one night,
spread over the field and onto the
railroad, where it stopped the mid
night express and choked the engineer
10
their lives and barely cit was a night
train) escaped with their lives Iowa
raises great corn, all right
The wise young man will neither
ogle young woman nor make her
believe that he hasn't noticed how
pretty she is. She might forgive the
former indiscretion, but never the lat
ter.
A Nebraska man says he has a pair
of boots that he has worn as Sunday
best for Al years. S. E. Kiser, of the
Chicago Record-Herald, tells me conf
dentiany that he knew a man in York
state who wore his 80 years and the
last time Sam saw them they were as
good as new. The old-time shoemak-
er was honest, if he was bow-legged.
The foreman of Michigan printing
Office who had just fifteen cents, mad
vertently asked "doll' to take lunch
with him. He was praying she would
be satisfied with a dish of ice-cream
and some cake, as she said she wasn't
feeling very well. Instead, she edged
up to the bill of fare, ordered lob
ster. some pate de foies gras, three side
dishes of vegetables, Boston salad,
tutti-fruti ice-cream and seven other
things with which he was not on
speaking terms. While she was in the
midst OF it, he had to excuse himself
and so out to find a friend. Moral
Beware of a woman when she says
she isn't hungry and only wants a
bite.