davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01
Bound to Celebrate.

"The gennul came up the othah
eyenin' to play kyards,' said the Ken
lucky colonel. "Theah was a PATTY
of US. They were all drinking rathah
heavily of some ole Kentucky passed
aroun' as they played. The gennul
aftah awhile began to tell about his
bein' his buthday He insisted that It
was his buthday in spite Of the fac
that we knew he had celebrated his
buthday with us some seven months
ago.
I'VE humohd him, but we found out
aftehwahd that it was his wife's buth-
day instead of his'n and whut he got
foh celebratin' 1t away from home and
huh was good an plenty."-N. 7.
Press.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01

We think O. me for savin money q
thae years?"
Il never thochts ABBOTT it till the
fther day, and then I thocht ye wud
haze. a guild reason for the savin'."
"Aweel, I'm gaun to tell We. Mind
it's atween oorsers. Listen! / lost
ma arm when l was three an twinty.
I was coortin' a lass at the time. But
We Gamma keep a wife, an maybe
weans, on the wark o. yin arm, an
that the left yin. At least, I couldn't
An it came to pass that the lass mer-
rit anither man. An the next year
ma fayther's brither deed an left me
near three thousand pound. / had a
brither, but he got naethin' left him
the reason for that I dinna ken. He
was clever lad. He MIGHT haze been
chancellor O the exchequer if he had
gotten the RIGHT chance. So I gi'ed
him the three thousan' pound, an he
was to pay me five per cent. But he
never managed to pay mair nor yin
an a quarter. 1t wasna his fault
Things was aye against him. Hoover
he peyed that regular for near thirty
year, but it didna leave me muckIe for
gi'etn' away to furrin missions an the
like. I stoppit gaun to the kirk, SEEM
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01
Use for Worthless Stocks.

wildcat mining stocks are not al.
together useless - or worthless,
either" said a downtown broker who
handles cheap mining stocks, the other
day as he hung up the telephone re-
ceiver. Here's a man who has just
offered me $50 for enough mining
stocks to have face value Of $4,000.
He wasn't particular what stocks he
got if they only had paper value OF
$4,000. I closed the deal and shall
make moneS on it, too. What did he
want with such stocks? Well, /
haven't the slightest doubt but that
he is getting ready to go into the
bankruptcy court and wants to show
his creditors where his money has
been dropped. We often get such re-
quests and are usually able to fill
khem."-N. Y. Sun.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01
Mean to protect uniforn,

The war department is determined
to pursue to the end of it's legal re-
sources the effort to remove the slur
cast upon the uniform of the Ameri-
can soldier By the decision of the
local magistrate at Plattsburg, N. Y,
that Sergt. Higgins and the soldiers
who accompanied him when they were
refused admission to a public skating
rink in that town had no case warrant
ing the imposition of a penalty upon
the proprietors of the place. Acting
Secretary Oliver wrote a letter to the
attorney general asking his help in
the prosecution of this case. The let
ter states il detail the provisions of
the bill of rights of the state of
New York prohibiting discrimination
against any person by keepers of
places Of entertainment, and the attor-
ney general is requested to give an
opinion upon the point whether or not,
the local magistrate having declared
that the keepers of the rink were not
subject to penal punishment, they still
can be reached by a suit for none
tary damages. In case of an affirma-
tive answer the department of justice
is requested to authorize the proper
attorney for the United States to ap-
pear for the soldiers in the prosecu-
ton of the case.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01
INDIAN IS CRAFTY
MAKES TROUBLE FOR SCIENTIFIC
DEPARTMENTS.
Fake Antiquities Manufactured by the
GuiIeIess Red Man Are constants
Iy Turning Up at the National
Capital.

"The gentle and un.utored savage
may be gui1eless sort of a citizen
sometimes, but he causes the. scientific
departments of the government a
good deal of trouble and rocks the
tourist person out of lot of coin in
the course Of the season by the manu-
facture of fake antiquities" said
government archeologist in talking to
a Washington Star reporter She other
day. There is hardly week passes
but what the Smithsonian, or the Ma
tional museum, or the bureau of
ethnology are called upon to pass on
the genuineness of some antiquity
that the confiding tourist has bought
from the Indians and possibly wants
to sell at a greatly enhanced value to
the government. 1t might be as well
to say right here that the government
is not buying any antiquities that way
There are too many fakes on the mar
ket for the government to take any
risk. There are factories up in Con-
necticut that make business of turn
ing out little clay images and pottery
bowls such as used to be made by
some Of the Indian tribes. Down in
Mexico City there are two very thriv-
ing establishments where antiquities
are made while you wait, and where
they do some very artistic work You
can get plain, unvarnished antiquities
fresh from the potter's kiln, but if you
are willing to wait couple Of days
they can age the same article so that
it would fool even most of the ex-
perts.
Put one of the most artistic pieces
of graft in that line that ever saw
worked was down on the banks of a
little river running into the Platte.
There was an Indian village, and
good many tolerably expert aboriginal
potters in it. They did a thriving
trade with the tourists coming that
way, and for sufficient consideration
the tourist was allowed to go out and
dig up his own relics, SO he know
they were genuine. The stream in
question was cut through soft, sandy
soil with banks that crumbled and
caved at every freshet. The Indians
used to make a lot Of more or less
desirable pottery pieces, breaking
them artistically sometimes when oc-
casion served. Then they would take
them out on the side of the stream
and bury them in the ground. When
the tourist came hunting relics he
would be piloted down the bed of
the stream and the guide would stop
now and then and dig into the crum-
bling bank. Eventually in digging
through the obviously untouched soil,
he would hit on some of the pottery
that had been carefully buried from
the prairie above, and then of course
the tenderfoot would pay double for
the find because he knew it was the
real thing. Oh, no, the gentle and un-
tutored savage is not crafty at ALL
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01
GIANT CRACKER WAS REAL.
Lawyers Great Joke on Friends In
Court Room.

Assistant Corporation Counsel
James L. Pugh of Washington is al
ways ready to play a joke on any
Of his friends, and, according to gen.
ial Lum Harper, chief assistant to
Clerk Potts, he seems to take special
delight in "deviling" him. According
to Mr.. Harper, about the worst" Mr..
Pugh ever did was some years ago,
when Judge Miller was on the bench
and Gen" Coxey's army was in town.
The court had received several let
tiers stating that If the general was
sent down to the workhouse that the
courthouse would be "dynamited."
one morning after Coxey had got
ten what Judge Miller thought was
coming to him, Mr.. Pugh came into
the lower court room with a giant
firecracker, which looked all the
world like fake" for the reason
that it was covered with advertising.
He laid it on the clerks desk. Mr..
Harper contemplated it for a moment
and as it was before the opening of
the lower court, he was smoking a
cigar. In a moment he touched the
light to the fuse and watched it burn,
while Mr.. Pugh just stepped back
and LATED" Baliff Cole was stand.
ing with his back to the desk and Mr..
Harper, not watching, when the
cracker exploded like cannon. Of
ficers rushed into the court room,
thinking some one had been shot, and
word was brought downstairs in
moment that Judge Miller, who had
been hearing a case from the bench,
had jumped about six feet" It is
said that he thought the place was
being blown up by the friends of
Coxey, and when Mr.. Harper came up
stairs NEW moments later to ex-
plain that it was not an anarchistie
attempt, but prank of Jim Pugh,"
he said he felt much relieved and
hoped it would not occur again. Now
adays, IL the prosecutor comes in
with shooting cracker" Mr.. Harper
says he is going to 'look inside" be-
fore he applies any lights to the fuse.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01
Don with Ice Annette.

There is little brindle bull terrier
not more than three blocks from the
Post building which has developed an
unwonted appetite foric Each morn.
ing as the wagon with the CONCEALED
fluid arrives Pansy may be seen at the
door in an attitude of expectancy. Di-
rectly that the small chunks begin to
fall Pansy gets busy chewing ice and
keeps the game up until the wagon
rolls away.
The driver said the other morning;
That's the only dog ! ever ran across
with thirst for ice. They tell me it
doesn't drink, SO I'm inclined to be.
lieve it's real Eskimo strayed from
home. The owner tells me that one
morning lately, when was held UP
and didn't get here on time, that
darned dog howled two solid hours for
ice. "-Washington Post.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01
Prof. Bells Idea.

Prof. Alexander Graham Bell OF
telephone fame the other day was in
Washington, where, as he strolled
along Pennsylvania avenue, his snow
white hair and beard, ruddy face and
easy carriage attracted much atten-
ton. A newspaper correspondent,
long known to the professor, joined
him and in the course of their chat
asked Mr. Bells opinion of newspaper
men. You know. professor" said
the correspondent, "but for us you
great inventors would not be so wide
ly known" That's very true coin
cided Prof Bell, who added, dryly:
"And do you know I sometimes think
you newspaper men are the greatest
inventors in the world
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01
New Name for Senator.

John Tyler Morgan, United States
senator from Alabama, says that at
last, after 80 years continuous serv-
ice in the senate. he has found what
he is there for The other day he
received from lady in Mobile let
ter addressed to General ]. T. Nor
gan, United States Seeds, Washing
ton, D. c." The writer thanked the
senator profusely for a batch of seeds
that had been sent her last year un-
der his frank, declaring that they had
produced ''the most beautiful roses in
all Alabama and requesting that
Gen. Morgan send her some more Just
like them. 81 feel that I have not
served my country in vain, nor that
/ shall be wholly unknown to poster
ity, now that have been addressed
as United States Seeds" added the
senator.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01
THouenT He WAS wANTEn
swede Returned According 20 lnstrlos
tlons on Envelope.

Christ Nelson, having been In tnia
country only few weeks, was slow in
learning American customs, and espe-
cially the inscriptions on envelopes.
One Of his first acts after landing in
oregon was to take out naturalization
naners On the corner Of the envelope.
i which were contained the docu-
rnants that made him an American
citizen were the words: Return in
i've days"
oval / be har," he said yesterday.
az he shufled up to the counter in the
county clerks office and spoke to Dep
uty Prasp.
:.What do you want?" asked that Of
Acial. carefully noting the embarrassed
flush on the Swede's face.
oval, it say on this har envelope
return in i've days. and time be up
to-day. SO ban come round.
When assured that nobody wanted
him. he turned with surprise and
walked sadly away, not certain
whether he was naturalized or not
Portland Oregonian.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01
ZEAL THAT WAS MlsDlREcTED.
iousekseper Meant TO Pleaso EH''
pIoyer, but Afasl

'Such an article" said H. z. Jud-
son, the new head of the University
OF Chicago, In declining rather I'M
usul interview, would be not only
futile but even in mild way harmful
It would be like the work of the care
full housekeeper There was an ola
general who had brought home from
the war splendid fiag-a flag all
torn with bullets, faded with fierce
suns and stained with the dust ana
blood of battle. This superb trophy
hung over the mantel in his library.
Well, one unlucky day he engaged q
new housekeeper and the next week
missed his flag. He rang at once.
Where is that flag Of miner ne sald'
pointing anxiously to the empty
space on the wall.
IT have been working en- 1t, sir,
The housekeeper answered. I've
washed it thoroughly and seWed up
all the rents and darned all the holes
and when bring it back to you, sir,
I'm sure you'll say it looks as good
as new"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01

IN E liz Ns 4Oa l. AG449Ae5 Ala " hOONA3sAAfpg -
IXl writes:
"T have suffered with kidney and
bladder trouble for ten years past.
Last March I commenced using
Peruna and continued for three months.
| have not used it since, nor have felt
pain.
81 believe that am well and there
fore give my highest commentator to
the curative qualities of Peruna."
Pe-ru-Ha For Kidney Trouble.
Mrs. Geo. FL. Simser, Grant, Ontario,
Can, writes:
Il had not been well for about four
years. had kidney trouble, and, In
fact, felt badly nearly all the time.
''This summer got SO very bad !
thought would try Peruna, so wrote
to you and began at once to take Peruna
and Manalin.
& took only two bottles of Peruna
and one of Manalin, and now feel
better than / have for some time.
ST feel that Peruna and Manalin cured
me and made different woman of me
altogether. bless the day picked up
the little book and read of your Peruna.
1t is the business of the kidneys to
remove from the blood all poisonous
materials. They must be active al the
time, else the system suffers. There are
times when they need little assistance.
Peruna is exactly this sort of rem
edy. 1t has saved many people from
disaster by rendering the kidneys SER
vice at time when they were not able
to bear their own burdens.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01
Baron Rosen,s ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS.

Baron Rosen, Russian ambassador
to this country, has had splendid train
ing as diplomat, having held i'm
portant posts before coming to Wash
ington. He is chancellor of the
Russian empire, a chamberlain at the
court of Gar Nicholas and has been
decorated with the orders of ST Vladi-
mir, st. Ann and st. Stanislaus. He
is an accomplished musician and
speaks English, Russian, French, Ger
man, Italian and Japanese. His fam
lily is an old one and has produced
many famous soldiers and diplomats
for Russia.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01

"Oh, this poverty!" wept the beauti-
full wife when her shifty-eyed husband
came home 1.-THE gas and electric
companies have shut off their service
because you have not paid their bills"
well, we can use candles" con-
soled the husband.
And the telephone company has dis
connected our instrument because we
owe them two months rental"
so much the better. If anyone
tries to ring us up to spend the eve
ming with us they will think we are
not at home ''-Judge.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01
Living by Literature.

It did not encourage me, at an early
stage of my career, to read an article
by Grant Allen declaring that man
had better sweep a crossing than take
to literature and journalism for & live
lihood. But l never thought of follow
ing his advice, and l have now had
enough experience to be able to dis
agree with him.-London Reader.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01

Mothers and other humane persons
will agree with the remarks of lee
turer in the Harvard Medical School,
who said the other day, in speaking of
the persons who had asked him
whether it is worth while to save the
lives of diseased babies, 81 reply that
no baby ought to die. 1t is the brain
which, after all, does the work. bet
ter or less well, according to the phys
ical development. We cannot judge
beforehand at birth what the indi.
vidual may become later"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01

It was not the heavens, but the cell
Ing of the assembly hall, which fell
in Russia the other day, few hours
before the Duma had assembled. The
accident was caused by loading the
rafters with too heavy ventiIating APP
paratus The Dums itself is a good
neutrality-suspicious. for the Russian
unrest. Let us hope, says Youths
Companion, that it may be heavy
enough only to break down Russian
oppression.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01
Thought He Was the MiIkman.

A young man who had prolonged his
call on his lazy love rather later than
usual was surprised when a window
in an upper story was raised as he left
the house, and the voice Of the mis-
tress of the house called out: Leave
Al extra quart this morning. please.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01

3 A New York minister apo1ogized to
his congregation from his pulpit the
other Sunday for having written a
cno-account" novel. He said he never
would repeat the offense and would
do his best to suppress this produc-
ton. Now if the novel writing laity
will go and do likewise much will be
forgiven them Their sins are many.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01

At Penon, Mexico, suburb OF
Mexico City, may be seen what is
perhaps the smallest church in the
world. It nestles under the shadow
of a small volcano. The church is
about ten feet high and IL feet wide.
Modern Mexico says: Whenever a
couple is married at the little altar
of the church there is barely room
for the groom and bride to turn
around at the same time"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01
Worth Observing.

In a certain preparatory school in
Washington an instructor one day
made the statement that every year
a sheet Of water IA feet thick is raised
to the clouds from the sea-"
AT what time of the year does that
occur, professor" asked freshman,
ut must be sight worth going
long way to see."-Harper's.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01

There's scarcely anything which can
fairly be called news in the announce
ment that the defeated president Of
Honduras will plot new war, from
his place of refuge in Mexico. That's
what an ex-presidant is for. in Cen.
trail America.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01

The earthquake season seems to
have been fully inaugurated. The
shocks which worked devastation in
Mexico were followed by others felt
across the water, and even the castles
In Spain were badly wrenched, though
there is no report of actual destruc-
fion
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01

Col. Henry Wattersons latest mes.
@age home Is an expression Of his
opinion that If the people Of the
United States could visit Spain and
take look around, they would go
back home mighty well pleased with
themselves and their own government
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01

w. T. Stead says he can't under.
stand why a man should stand up for
the purpose of letting lady have a
seat in a street car. He needn't
worry. 1t isn't likely that he will
ever have a seat to offer.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01

Ambassador Bryce smokes a we'll
seasoned pipe while he is at work.
There is no other way by which the
true literary atmosphere can be ere
Rted, maybe.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01

Spring always brings into special favor
Natures blood purifier, Garfield Tea. 1t
is made wholly of clean, sweet Herbs. It
purifies the blood, cleanses the system,
and promotes Good Health. For young
and old.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01

There is strong suspicion that 1t
will be a good deel easier to establish
a place for colony in Colorado for
the relief of the poor from the con-
gested districts of New York than ii
will to get those same poor to oc-
cupy il.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01

The New York legislator who would
enact law requiring all automobiles
20 have tenders might have gone a
little further and asked that no one
but surgeon be allowed to drive a
motor car.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01

/ Not many Americans pass these
spring evenings in reading the phil
osophy Of Emmanuel Kant, but wheth-
err they realize it or not, their ways
of thinking are permanently affected
by this little man who died in Konigs-
berg hundred years ago. His ashes.
are to be transferred to the cathedral,
to a tomb beside those of Prussian
kings, and a splendid monument is to
be erected to him.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01

But the real American dementia
and brain storm center will be found
on the ball ground.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01

Some of the American railroads are
suffering from floods, which shows
that the railroads should be careful
not to allow the water to run out Of
their stock.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01
H------------@@------~ n
To Make Study Of Foods.

The department of agriculture this
year will make study of foods which
make fat men lean and lean men fat.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01

Why have SO many earthquakes?
4neir only charm is novelty, and that
Is wearing off.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01

The Philadelphia man charged with
having $50 wives scattered throughout
the country probably does not believe
in family reunions.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01

Paris walters may want to wear
mustaches to hide their smiles when
foreign diners try to talk French.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01

Morgan has just invested $780,
600 more in works of art. He Ii
probably able to pay the bill out OF
the money he has saved in not buying
stocks.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01

Inc government printing bill has
oeen cut 100000 the past year.
That helps some in Panama.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01

There are hopeful signs that most
Of the members of the douma realize
that their usefulness depends on
keeping their temper. It's hard, but
necessary.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01

King Edward keeps UP his reputa-
ton as lover of travel, but he can't
have the fun he did when the throne
was far away in the uncertain future
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01

Critic says Canadians are breezy,
but he may have been introduced to
q few who were putting on lot of
airs.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01
The Reason.

shea-How long have you been
sick?
Ryan-Five days.
shea-Glory be! An why don't We
git doctor?
Ryan-shure, got, to go to wur-ruk
Monday marnin' Puck.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01

Pittsburg people will be able to
overlook everything else now IL
their baseball team can only go in and
win with decent regularity.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01

English courts are enforcing that
multiplying law What change for
the tourists in dear old Lunnon!"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01

The spring poet usually writes his
spring poems by the side of as good
a fire as he can afford.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1907-06-01
AmerIean Aaenta at EauIs.

According to numerous writer's,
great drawback to the success of
American trade abroad is the neglect
of travelling agents to learn foreign
Languages. In this respect America
is far behind +r~