davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18
HRYAN's FAILURE TO RESPOND.

From the New York Sun.
 The Hon. John Temple Graves, that thrice plumaged songbird of the south, has once more perched and swelled his throat and liberated such floods of melody as must have made the nightingale ashamed. This occurred in Chattanooga last Wednesday.
 MT. Graves warble has lost nothing since 1904 when he sang to us of William R. Hearst, his virtues and his gifts of leadership. He pipes and twitters just as sweetly now. He smacks his Tyre with unabated mastery. Again he smoth CTS us with halcyon revelation From the epic to the sonnet, from the harsh war song to the epithalamum. from the elegy to the serenade, he bounds with equal ease. Time has not diminished nor use impaired his infinite variety. He winds the horn heroic from the distant hills, and within ten winks of the very duilest bedpost strums the light guitar and shakes the circumambient air with love and adulation. There never was but one John Temple Graves. nor shall be till our summers are deceased.
 We do not share the resentful opinion
 
 of those who would disparage the Geor- gia minstrel because he has transferred his raptures from William R. Hearst to Theodore Roosevelt. The commentator owes a debt to justice and to history. Three years may seem a narrow span in the philosophy of benighted Smith or plodding Jones. To Genius that interval accounts for untold cycles and innumer- able transformations. As Genius sees it, Roosevelt In 1907 is the incarnation of every human hope and uplift that Hearst represented in 1904. And the cult and in- sight of innumerable centuries are con- centrated in the message of John Temple Graves. He has adumbrated the peri- helion of the two astounding and majes- tic orbits. He can flute beneath the caves of either when tother dear charmer's away. Barring Hearst, his poets soul goes out to Roosevelt.
 The one perplexity confronting us is the Hon. William Jennings Bryan's fail ure to respond with instant fervor to the Georgia statemans overture. That cir cumstance inspires the apprehension of discord in freak circles. According to all reason and logic, MT. Bryan should have taken the Hon. John Temple Graves op- perfume suggestion to his heaving breast It offered him the opportunity of dra- matic and sublime renunciation.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18


 kind of pipe.
 "Of course" said one dealer the other day, "the corncob cannot be smoked on the street, or anywhere else in public But for a nice, quiet evening at home, give me Missouri meerchaum.'
 In judging pipes there are three things to be considered; bowl, stem and tobacco. Poor tobacco will make the finest pipe taste flat Lovers of pipe smoking never allow cheap tobacco to be used in their pipes some even going so far as to de- clare that but one kind of tobacco should be used in every pipe.
 Leaving out of consideration the cob pipe, which is only for home use or for working men, the best kind of pipes are to be found only in the high grade ar ticies These cheap, celluloid stem pipes are not to be tolerated by men of discrim- ination," said a dealer.
 About as good combination as can be obtained is a French briar, amber stem pipe If both the briar and the amber are genuine, a nice, sweet smoke is bound to be obtained with good to- bacco.
 'Meerchaum pipes are not generally used. Nearly every smoker has valu- able meerchaum at home, but they arc seldom used. They are usually sold with amber stems, and they make a comfort able smoke. They are light in weight, therefore not hard on the teeth. The meerchaum is porous, soaking up the nicotine. The man that has not colored
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18
A Botanical Garden.

q have never seen more beautiful roses and lilies,' said visitor, than are of fered for sale in the florists stores in this city, from which I judge that the people here are fond of fine flowers, and yet am surprised to learn that you have no botanical garden in Birmingham.
 q have been informed that an attempt was made some time ago to organize a geological garden, or rather to make q collection of animals and put them in Q building which was to be erected in one of the parks. but that is beginning at the wrong end. The first collection to be made should be the flora of the state, after that the fauna. Very few people who live in 8 city know the. names of the trees and flowers that grow in the country. and the pictures given In books or charts help very little to spread the knowledge.
 Tt would not be a bad idea to put tags on the trees that are now growing in the public parks, and by that means teach people to know hickory from a chestnut We depend too much on, the school to teach our people, and that is why the average boy or girl knows so little about nature. I would like to make a test of the knowledge of twenty High school pupils upon the subject of trees by taking them to one of the parks or out into the country.
 Birds are very interesting subject to study. and these with flowers and trees could be easily included in the same scheme of & botanical garden. The cost of maintenance would be far less than that of the geological garden, and the pleasure would be much more. The circus brings all the animals we want to see, but the flowers and the birds we must col lect ourselves if we want to have them"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18
SOME MORE ABOUT PIPES

a meerchaum can lay no claims to be a true pipe lover.
 ''Getting down to cheap pipes, we find all sorts of combinations. Bowls arc made of apple knots, cherry and rose wood. A few horn pipes are on the mar ket
 Celluloid, rubber, bone, horn and cane are used in making stems for inferior pipes. A bone pipestem Is not so bad, but the rest are pretty poor But to tell the truth, apple knots and some of the other limitations of briar make a better smoke than the genuine French wood. The imi- tations burn out faster. but as they are softer they absorb more of the nicotine.
 Genuine French briar comes only in the high-grade pipes. Briar pipes are nearly always labeled 1. 9 or 8. Firsts are the roots, which are the hardest and color prettiest. Seconds come from the trunk of the tree, and thirds from the branches"
 (Which Is the more popular with users of cheap pipes, the corncob or the clay pipe?" the dealer was asked.
 'The corncob. You must not refer to thu Missouri meerchaum as a cheap pipe. It is only an inexpensive one. and gives the finest, cleanest smoke to be found. You would be surprised to know how many well to do and cultured men go home, put on old smoking Jackets, go up in their dens and enjoy the even- ing with the corncobs. Clay pipes are seldom sold in tobacco stores. Children use them in blowing bubbles, and few old women and some 'backwoods people smoke them. But remember, my son, don't ever let anyone make you believe corncob is a cheap smoke. No, sir"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18
TURNED THE TABLES.

From the Kapsas City Times.
 In a crowd waiting for car at Elev- enth street and Grand avenue yesterday was an old negro who was inclined to pc discursive. Two high school boys be- lieved they say chance to make fun of him and made several remarks at which they themselves laughed heartily. Finally one of them said: You're preacher, aren't you. uncle?"
 "Yes, sah," replied the negro, bringing forth a card. "Ah'm undertaken, too An don't wish you no bad luck, but And lak teh have yo' business"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18
Enforcina inc Game Law

John H. Wallace, Jr state game and fish commissioner, has caught in his legal scoop net state senator sher- if and county solicitor, all of whom went a-gunning without first procuring a three-dollar license. The senator was shooting ducks, and the sheriff and county solicitor were shooting coots, when they were caught red-handed in the act. They pleaded ignorance of the terms of the new law, but this plea will not be needed by the state game commissioner, who desires all to know that yiolators of the new law will be prosecuted, irrespective of their station in life"
 A senator who assisted in passing the new law and sheriff and a county solicitor, who are sworn to execute it, should not plead ignorance. They should take their medicine, and say no more about it. But whether they take or reject this advice, the law is to be enforced strictly and literally through out the state. Commissioner Wallace steps forward to say grimly and de- terminedly that wardens have been selected in the various counties who will fearlessly execute the law The man without license hunts, there fore, in this state at his peril lzsfor every time he shoots a game warden and the pen will stare him in the face.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18
Extraordinary Newsboy.

q think I came in contact with a future multi-mllionaire this morning." remarked a man last night. "The promising indi- vldual I refer to is none other than a ragged little newsboy. I was attracted by the boys persistent salesmanship and engaged him in conversation. He was very bright and has unusually keen bus mess ideas. He told me he had SIP In the savings bank and was adding to his account every day. I offered to buy him ticket to the show tonight, but much to my surprise he declined, saying he couldn't go. When I told him 1t would not cost him anything he explained he might be making money while he was watching the show.
 When q street urchin turns down a free ticket to the show with that kind of an explanation you needn't worry about his financial welfare. he is sure to accumulate a pile of coin in good time.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18
CAUGHT BIG SAILING FISH.

From the Washington Post.
 Louis Weaver of this city returned from a visit to the Florida coast Saturday, bringing with him a ninety-r ound sailing fish, which he landed with hook and line after thirty-fve minutes of sport.
 This is said to be the third fish of it's kind ever caught in American waters, and MT. Weaver has been busy since his return receiving congratulations from his numerous fishing friends.
 The monster will be turned over to the Smithsonian institution, which IS without a specimen of this kind.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18
Elevator Manners.

"The question Is frequently asked, what are good manners in an elevator" said J. IL. Darby: First think, thought for the comfort of others. Second, if there should be lady passengers, and it is con- venient and your pleasure to remove your hat, do so; if it is not, I don't think It could be regarded as being impolite.
 "Politeness is refining and helpful, and younger men should remember that ladies always feel the implied compliment of the notice of men wherever extended"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18
SAILORS SOMETIMES sEAsIcK,

From the Philadelphia Bulletin.
 Sailors get seasick as ladsmen do. It is funny and gratifying sight to see a seasick sailor.
 A sailor will get seasick after long absence from the sea, or he will get sea- sick in changing from large to small boat
 Captains descending from their liners to little pilot boats are frequently upset by the sharp. quick motion and become Ill amid the laughter of all hands.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
the New York Press.

TTOH tHt NeW T UTK FTeSS.
 The difficulty about getting rich is that if you make per cent you are tempted to spend 10.
 The average man would rather own an automobile than be able to pay his rent promptly.
 Wonder how Christian Science people and that kind manage when it comes to having tooth. pulled?
 woman can always tell by the way a man has his beard trimmed what sort of disposition he has.
 Even when a man spends the after noon at the race track he feels that he has to impress pn his wife what a slave he Is to business.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

with newspaper. the mother bowed her head and the two girls gazed apathetical- ". first at the stage and then at the au- dlence For nearly three hours they sat there and not the faintest suggestion of a smile crossed their faces. Not trace of interest did they show. Rather. as the performance grew in hilarity the gloom which brooded over them seemed to in- crease. Why were they there? What did they ever come for. and why didn't they go home? None who observed them could answer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18
The Iron Market.

that prevailed for some time past, said H. Hammond, the well known broker.
 "I have not heard of any sales for 1908 delivery A New York paper reported that such sales were being made but 1t must have been mistaken. Iron makers are selling freely for the last quarter, however. Buyers. as a rule, are not dis posed to buy for 1908 this far ahead and sellers certainly do not care to sell now for 190S
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18
ONE WAY.
From Harper's Magazine.

A reverened gentlemen was addressing a Sunday school class not long ago, and was trying to enforce the doctrine that when peoples hearts were sinful they needed regulating. Taking out his watch, and holding it up, he said
 Now, here is my watch; suppose it doesn't keep good time-now goes too fast and now too slow--what shall do with it?'
 Sell it." promptly replied 2 boy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18
Gentle spring is a misnomer.
IT PAYS TO PAY.

From the Berthaud Bulletin.
 A man came in Wednesday, paid ms and incidentally mentioned that he would like to see little rain. We didn't promise anything, but We'd nesday night 1t rained. We do not mem tion this in a spirit of braggadocio, but inst to show how things will work out
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18
RIPPLEs.

A good way to cool enthusiasm is to pass the hat.
 Faint heart never won fair lady or any thing else worth while.
 nere is no hope for the man who is satisfied with himself.
 Even when a man Is a failure, he has Hot lived in vain if he makes the best of it.
 The average woman is willing to put up with the average man. That's what makes matrimony.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18
VISIONARY.

VISIONARY. I dreamed I saw Boss Hartman and
 Roosevelt sup together. I dreamed that universal peace had
 come. Methinks, I heard a voice say that we d
 have some warmer weather, And then the distant beating of a drum It called the sad fanatics to another
 game of ball
 That Birmingham would win, as sure
 as fate. Ane then woke and heard clock-twas
 striking in the hall The hour of the morning, which was 8. Prick and Carnegie don't speak when they pass by Even when their money talks 1t talks to other people. A bride refused to take an ocean voyage because she feared homesickness. Sea sickness was what she probably had in mind
 EXPENSIVE. His heart went out to her before She blushed and answered. Yes" And now it is his money that Goes out to her, guess President Gompers says he wants peace. Nearly everybody seems to want peace except the Daughters of the American Revolution.
 Cheer up, the price of platinum is down to $34 an ounce.
 A man trumped his partners ace in Philadelphia, Ark. and the coroner sat on him shortly after. PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18
APRIL.

April is a flel<le maiden
 That's what all the poets say. changeful as the glint of colors
 In pool where sunbeams play. Now her smile is most entrancing, Now she wears a darkling frown, Bright the day we greet in rising,
 Soon the rain is coming down.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18
PRESS POINTS

Memphis Commereial-Appeal: Jerome may never worry, as he says. but he certainly keeps up dickens of a fuss.
 Houston Post: We are hoping that since the Chattanooga brainstorm, John Temple Graves keeps wet towel around his head.
 Washington Herald: A lady has gone crazy because she couldn't get into Mis- souri high society. She is now properly qualified for Pittsburgs.
 Charleston News and Courier: What is democrat?' asks the New York World. A democrat is a creature that ounce haunted Wolferts Roost.
 Chattanooga Star: The Louisville Post of yesterday printed fine editorial on "An easy money market but said noth- ing about a green goods factory.
 Atlanta Constitution: The editor of a leading magazine says he received nearly 4O0O poems in one year. He lives to tell the tale because he didn't have to read them.
 Knoxville Sentinel: Actually good part of the country seemed to believe that story sent out from the White House about the s5OOO,0Oo conspiracy. Teddy has got the country hipped.
 New Orleans Item: New York state wants to put out hypothetical questions and expert testimony in future murder trials Indeed, New York state will have to be very economical for awhile.
 Providence Journal; The sardine can ming season begins today, along the coast of Maine. But France will probably get credit for most of the crop, according to the superficial evidence of the cans.
 Nashville American: Oklahoma is to be known as the "Mistletoe State.' When this news gets to Boston the school marms will be in such a hurry to board an emigrant train that they will not be particular to get their specs on straight.
 Pittshurg Dispatch: With regard to MT Harrimans pathetic question, "Where do l stand?" 1t is conceded that the answer Is not a little difficult. But if he will modify the question to where he ought to stand public opinion will refer him to Senator Cullom for the answer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18

There are 550,000 honk machines in the world, and good many of them are engaged in swelling John D. Rocke- feller's fortune.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18

MT. Peary says temperature of 72 gions is much more comfortable, healthy and enjoyable than Washing ton weather.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18

The frosty weather destroyed more actual property than the Wall street panic.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18

A St. Paul man who dislocated his jaw three times iii one day while must think'this life is huge joke.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18

Gone with Hicks" said a western wife who went away with the cele- brated man who won fame by being buried alive.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18

In some way Bellamy Storer, Poult- ney Bigelow and Mrs. von Claussen were overlooked when delegates to The Hague were appointed.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18

Wall street has lost its influence over national affairs, public or private Goodbye, Waffle, be good to yourself
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18

If the Czar does not abdicate, the duma may, or at any rate it may be compelled to go, which amounts to the same thing.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18

Chancellor Day is disgruntled again. The colleges are not, to his mind, con- ducted right, and the trusts are too lenient. Poor Day!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18

The women have secured school suf- frage in Iowa--that is to say, they can vote for school trustees and on all other school ques tiOns.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18

Senator Cullom is the man to an swer Harriman's question as to where he should stand.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18

Every woman under 9o," says Ellen Terry, thinks she is an actress" This age limit sweeps in all.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18

The President cannot send Taft to Norway to deliver that Nobel peace speech in the Norwegian tongue.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18

In Dalny there are now 22,00O peo- pie, and all are Chinese or Japanese but 23, and yet Russia built it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18

Tn Chicago April snow storms bring profanity, porous plasters and pneu- monia
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18

A college boy who is tending COWS would have won admiration by going into something more strenuous.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18

When the President hands out a lemon it is not done in tissue paper. It comes naked and unadornsd.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18

A Kentucky maniac has been calling for Delmas. He probably thinks Del mas knows how to cure his brain storms.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18

A Cleveland woman has been crying for one hundred hours and it hasn't [ gotten her anything yet.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18

The recent April snow storm is re garded as the biggest weather freak ol modern times.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18

No city accepts the population guesses of the census bureau. only actual counts go.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18

A MT. Nicely of Columbus, O., has married. Let us hope that he will treat his wife that way.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18

Foraker cannot win negro votes in Ohio while the President is handing out offices with real money salaries attached.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18

those who say that there is no virtue in good words, are of the type of the jay bird who argued that there was no melody in music-and sang to prove 1t.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18
A WET MORNING.

"A w E NdoRNING. When at dawn we lie a-dreaming In a cozy little bed And we hearken to the drumming Of the rain drops overhead, Oh, it seems to us we never Were so 10th to rise before And a gently creeping languor Overrules us more and more! W nat joy to steal an hour If we dare that much to take And to spend it all in dozing, Snug and warm and half awake, While the batter on the shingles And the clouds of leaden gray Make us thankful for a shelter On a dark and rainy day! A loud knocking was heard on the door of Hades. What is that?' cried Satan. "Open, sirep' answered a voice. Tt is an escort bringing the eonspirators against Roosevelt"
 ''Is Hartman there?' 'Yes. your majesty 'Well, leave him outside He'd steal every coal road in my kingdom
 DOMESTIC LIFE.
 Before they wed
 He loved her so,
 He fingered near
 And would not go.
 But now, alas,
 He stays away
 Two-thlrds of night
 And works all day. Four persons-father, mother and two daughters-occupied box at one of the theatres. A rollicking show was on the boards and everybody else was laugh ing, but not these four. They made a group picture of dejection. The father turned his back on the stage and fuinbled
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18
ALABAMA PRESS

Eufaula Times: Well, let the war go on in Ohio between the Foraker and Taft combinations. We may learn something.
 Montgomery Advertiser: Will some kind hearted person let us know if the re- cent cold had any bad effect on the mint crop.
 Gadsden Journal: Dementia Americana isn't catching, ordinarily. The conditions must be right before scontagion is possi- ble. Money. leisure and a frivolous dispo- sition are prerequisites.
 Anniston Hot Blast: A New Jersey pris- oner, who had served out his sentence, had to be driven from jail at the point of gun. Can 1t be possible that the New Jersey jails are sufficiently well screened to repel the attacks of the Jer- sey mosquitoes?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18

A Cincinnati preacher who uses sport ing terms in his sermons has taken his tip hot off the bat. Nobody is popular at this time of year who doesn't know baseball.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18

Most of MT. Rockefeller's pipe dreams are confined to oil pipes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18

Wise statesmen, says Woodrow Will son, say nothing and chew tobacco.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18

Thaw was found guilty to the extent of seven.twelfths.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18

Washington Herald: A lady has gone crazy because she couldn't get into Mis- souri high society. She is now properly qualified for Pittsburgs.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18
IN SEASON.

Ere long we'll have The glad June hug, Along with it
 The green June bug.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18

From the Kansas City Star. N CORNCOB," is the reply of nine IVY" out of ten tobacco men when
 . asked what is their favorite
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18

Memphis Commereial-Appeal: Jerome may never worry, as he says. but he certainly keeps up dickens of fuss.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18

Houston Post: We are hoping that since the Chattanooga brainstorm, John Temple Graves keeps a wet towel around his head.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-04-18

Prick and Carnegie don't speak when they pass by. Even when their money talks, 1t talks to other people.