Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1907-01-31
Uncle Dicky on FIIly BuIl-CaIf

every day straw has up nlgner on MS heau
than usual, his brass-rimmed spectacleswell
down on his nose and a look of determi-
nation on his face which resembled a
stubble-field with two streams OF mud trail
ing out from the lower end-so had tobacco
juice wept out the corners of his mouth;
addressing 9Th ole woman, in tones audi
BILE across the street, he shouted,
Becky, want you T. git out my billed
shirt an seefltneeds mendin' er buttons OF
it, coz I'm er gorn to er meetin' in th'
town hall ternight.n
Becky, looking up in surprise, squirting
at her husband in her own peculiar way,
shouted back,
"Good land de day, Dicky, wot's th'
matter? You haint had shat billed shirt on
sence VIC went t'yer brother Bill'sfuneral "
Well, that don't make no difference, Tn
er gorn t. Filly Bull-Calf's perliticle meet
in down in th' town hall ternight an l
want my billed shirt in order"
Wotd' ye want billed shirt T. go + a
perliticle meetin' for, ye never waxed up
afore t. &c t. that ere kind Of meetin' =
but Dicky by this time had gotten hot
water preparatory to scrapiug the stubble
off his comical old phYsiognomy and not
until he had lathered his face did he deign
to answer Becky, "Well, ye might thiDk it
queer tnat clean up an put on my San
day cloze e go s. perliticle meetin' bus tn
notice said ladies specially invited an Ell
th' winlmen er gorn t. be there / haint er
gorn lookin' like dod blamed tramp"
''Wimmen a-gorn, an yon a-waxin' up
guess better git on my black silk an go
erlong with you, Dicky."
Die Penn! l never tho't O. that, yas, gil
on yerduds, Becky, am we'll go to- that
'ere Bull Calf feller's meeting though we
baint been on tn street t'gether sence tht
time Bill was buried y
Dicgy and Becky got in early and sat
away up front so they could hear and dur
ing the show he laughed and applauded the
speaker as heartily as any, but after they
got home he said,
Becky, ole woman, I'm little d's'
pinted-I tho't this here Filly Bull Calf
wuz a great big smart feller, an he hain't.
Pears t. me thet feller wat put tn Ding
Dong Teefoam on th' bum an brung on
strike an got people a-pullin' ther poles
an T. quit takin' tellyfoams, sides knock
in out th' Dave Botkins perlitticle gang
an defeatin' Dry Ben fer 'nited States sem
nyter-I tho't Teller like that 'ud gin
bang up rattlin' good speech an say SOM
thin but he didn't say ez much in amour
an half ez some 'ud say in five or ten
minits."
s'Puts me in mind of feller onct heerd
a talkin' erbout-a preacher = he said th'
domino had diareer o. words an consti-
patton o. idees.n
''Well, replied Becky" You seemed T.
en'iy yerseH anyhow an ye made ez much
t. do over wat he said ez any on en-"
"Course / did. coz wuztickled with his
funny capers an attytudes be struck an
th' things he hinted at an wuz afeerd e
say on account of mebby gitten' iugged fer
it,
ssI'm ergin these here dod- blamed per
liticle gangs that waste public money an
make our taxes so high but fer th' life o.
me can't see howsich fellers ez Fillv Ball
Calf scootin' an a-blattin' an a-bellerin
aroun' over te' county a-gorn T. help things
much.''
swat I'd like e see is some good talker
that sez somethin' come roun' an tell us
jist wat dirt th' perliticle gangs is doin'
an back il up with day an date, chapter
an verse, an gin US sound arguments
'stead o. so much slobberin' CAB like er
boss WAITS fed on second crop hay
Becky ''didn't say nothin,' but iist
laughed kinder tantalizing, = was the way
Dicky put it at Berdine's grocery, the next
evening after Filly Bull Calls ''Great Re-
form meeting, ladies specially invited
UNCLE DICKY