The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-25

| Tiara D1dISildll III LIE OChNAAJ- n
i HUMoR OF THE DHY
+ AS to a Feminine -By-Pater
Americanus-So that was the great Mrs;
| into society, didn't she?
The Innocent, Abroad-Oh, fatheri No.
| She divorced into it.-Puck.
Mrs. Knicker-I want you to beat this
Weary wiIlie-can't do it, mum; amt
got any as good.-New York Sun.
= John" said the political leaders wife,
you'll have to get new policeman as
signed to this beat; Bridget doesn't like
All right said he, land while I'm
| about It I'll get one that likes his meat
Philadelphia Press.
The friend in need is generally a friend
too many.-Chicago Record-Herald.
What Cared She?-Mistress-I am very
nervous. about Burglars. Be sure to lock
up carefully at night.
br new M MAJ in WE mo fear
Har2er's Weekly.
The Curse of Money.-"Money doesn't
always bring happiness and peace of
with are anxious Took. somet tine nia It
tempts you to buy automobiles. wash
1nSton Star.
Military Operations in France-stranger
to French Soldier-Are you marching out
French soldier-No; today we fight the
:larJ. and next day we storm a hospital
and an orphan asylum.-Jugend, Munich.
Guerdieed little Johnny. what's diplo-
81
man. is a l.crson who doesn't mean what
he means others to think he means.'-
Tit-Bits.
Most To Be Feared.--Mother to futurE
my daughter is well educated. she cannot
much. so long as she doesn't try.-Flie-
Tall Bard-Here is an article that SAYS
oveEeating prevents poets from writing
Short Bsrd-Great Homer! who ever
heard from poet suffering from overeat-
ing?-Chicago News.
Old Gentleman-Here. boy! You don't
suppose I am going to take that rickety
silk umbrella. do you?
Bell Boy-Dat's wot de gemmen said
wot got yohs, SHUTDOWN and Country
IT'S hard said the sentimental land
this poor little lamb should be destroyed
il its, youth just TO cater to our appe-
Yes" replied the smart boarder, strug
Cling with his portion, lit is tough
Philadelphia Press.
Scotch Railway station. A train which
has been standing at the platform for
mic way?''
Man-If I'd kent wad been in her my
Ia,,;o Gu ,4,,z. -. z.1. - -
mat!on.-Punch.
Ten thousand voIurnes!'' exclaimed the
visitor. looking in Amusement at the cost
ly books that lines the shelves in the pri-
expect ever to find time to read them?''
ITO read them" eehoed the owner
do you expect a connoisseur in rare books
to find time even to open them?"-Chica-
49,. "sk kI is going to write a poem on
Has he ever eaten one?''
mo. But he intends to-
Then he'll never write the poem
Milwaukee Sentinel
.All the big berries are at the top of
, ION: no, ma'am," replied the truthful
the other boxes.'-Chicago News.
- When " a d DO you expect to begin working
'.As soon as we get through with the
public. Judge.
Were you in the ark with Noah. grand
mo, my child was not in the ark with
''Then why weren't you drowned?"-
Punch.
IF it wasn't for one thing Tompl1Ins
would be the most successful liar I ever
and that?"
mo one ever believes his lies"-Mn-
waukee Sentinel.
Mrs. Gossip-Mrs Ricflleigh has so much
hasn't she?
Mrs. Comeup (judiciously)-WeH now
she might have, If she wasn't so fat
Customer-who is that lady your clerks
are treating with 50 much difference?
BoDkseller-That? Oh, that's Mrs Law
test She is one of our best six buyers.
Puck.
Ttmid Lady-Is your dog dangerous. my
Little Man-No, ma'am. If he should
happen to bite yer onct or twict, don't
mind I'm; he's just payin'.-Harper's Ba-
Ear.
BE sure you're right. then go ahead.
that's my motto" said the determined
Yes" answered the conservative friend.
put you mustn't be so sure you're right
that you get to thinking you have a mo-
world "-Washington Star.
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.
[From the PHILADELPHIA Record1
He marries for money-the minister
A o1I