The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1907-08-21
The Duilv
Short Story
Mr., ADOlPH HUMAN

A handsomer form than that of
Mr.. Adolph human had never been
seen in Lakeside, and his arrival
in that quiet little village was
therefore an event OF no small i'm
portance. As he passed along the
weed-fringed sidewalks. window
shades went up, muslin curtains
were pulled aside, women and chill
dren peeped around the corner Of
the houses and men and boys
stopped their work and stood with
their mouths open-the admiring
eyes of the whole village turned
on Mr.. Adolph human.
Before he had been in the town
2 hours a group of women, young
and old, collected at the home of
Silas Perkins to discuss the hand
some stranger.
81 do love big mani" exclaimed
little Polly Perkins.
He's every inchof 6-feet-2,"
ventured the usually timid Rosetta
Rollins.
"He must weigh at least $780,"
suggested another.
"And such a form!" exclaimed
half dozen highkeyed voices in
a chorus.
"He can have me-" said the girl
with the pink dress.
And Polly again burst out with
all the enthusiasm of her vivacious
little being, "Oh, l do just love a
big mani"
And so Mr.. Adolph human found
himself received with open arms by
the people of Lakeside. He ac-
cepted invitations to dinner with
the older people, he went to picnics
with the younger people, and he
won the friendship Of every child in
the town. Lakeside fairly throbbed
and fluttered with pride at having
him in her midst, partly because of
his genial manner. but chiefly, it
must be admitted, on account of
his splendid physique. Meanwhile,
as agent for an eastern life insur-
ance company, he sold policy after
policy.
Three weeks passed, and all
went well until on Saturday after
noon the handsome Adolph invited
Polly Perkins to go boating with
him.
Zaccheus Moore. Polly's best
young man, sulked when he saw
them and went to his studies in
the doctors Office, with a grudge
in his heart toward all tall, broad
shouldered men in general and Mr..
Adolph human in particular.
human and Polly had been on
the lake only short time when
the girl uttered cry of distress.
Two men, who were at work near
the shore, jumped into a boat and
pushed out toward them. Polly,
frightened to helplessness, sat in
the boat, while nearby floated the
unconscious Adolph, who had been
seized with an epileptic fit and had
fallen overheard.
And why does the big man
float?" queried one Of the res
cuers.
Sure, and it's more than l can
TELL returned the other.
Strong arms dragged the uncon-
scious man into boat. rowed him
to shore and carried him to the
doctors Office.
Eyes, he's all right now" replied
Zaccheus Moore. that evening, in
answer to Polly's inquiry. "But he
didn't regain consciousness until
after we'd stripped hi moi the in
fiated rubber forms that he wears
all over him, across his shoulders,
over his chest and on his arms and
legs" But Zaccheus did not add
that as he assisted the doctor to
remove the rubber pads he did
something more, something that
the doctor did not tell him to do
he jabbed pin into each pneuma-
tic cushion.
At the time Zaccheus was dis
cussing the events of the afternoon
with Polly, the loungers at the sta
ton saw a tall, slender man with
sloping shoulders and bow legs
boards the 9:15 train just as it left
Lakeside. Not one of them sus-
pected he was Mr.. Adolph human.