The Ketchikan miner., 1907-03-23
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And came to dreadful harm. Jason lived with simple ease
 Midst chickens and cows, Midst home-spun eggs and fresh -laiC
 cheese.
 And hoes. and rakes, and blows. Jason's brother put his though
 On lamh and bulls. and bears; On puts and ''calls. things sold and bought
 And stocks and bonds and shares. Jason worked his farm content.
 His hopes on heaven clinched: The brother worked the men he met
 Until they had him pinched.
 Jason Jasper and his lot
 Make one long happy tale,
 And all the city brother got
 Was sixteen years in jail.
 Town Topics.
 If any one thinks Senator Tillman didn't know just what he was doing and all that sort of thing when he was cutting capers about the Senate. and getting the nergoes to threaten all kinds of trouble at places where he was billed to speak. he or she had better stop minute and contemplate the fact. according to his home paper. the Charleston IS. C. News and Courier he is already signed for an address for every weekday night from March until Congress meets again, at 500 night, the lecture bureau taking all chances as to delayed trains, weather. etc. Something in self-advertising, after all.
 He-Had an odd experience the other day. One morning my break fast boiled egg had an inscription on it. It said. '.The finder may write me. signed Mary Smith," She-What reply did you get? He The postmaster replied He said that Miss Smith died of old age several years ago.
 In the shade of the old apple tree. I've waited so long love for thee. that the voice once 1 heard. grows faint with each word til it's barely whisper to me. There is no more buzz in the bee. the blossoms are withered. ah me, and the tree that grew where I waited for you, has changed to an old chestnut tree. In the shade of the old apple tree. where We heard the blamed buzz of the bee. with big carving knife that swiped from my wife. I am waiting and watching-by gee, Of daggers l have two or thpee. and an axe and cutlass, sou see, and 1'i, stick all lhese things into the next puy who sings, ''fn the Shade of the Old Apple Tree. ''
 "A frankly unscrupulous mem Der of the criminal bar tells the following story al his own expense: His client was indicted for murder and on the evidence apparently guilty. The lawyers only chance as he thought. lay in trying to work it down's to manslaughter, which would get his client of with twenty years inn prisonment. Accordingly he told his clerk to become friendly with the jury men. treat them to drinks, and see what he could do. The clerk reported that he had become very thick with the twelfth juror, an old Irishman, who hasd promsed 10 hold out for manslaughter The lawyer told his client, and both ceased to worry about the result, as death no longer stared the prisoner in the face. The jury retired and remained out twentythree hours. At the end of that time. tired, dishevelled, exasperated, they filed into the court and returned verdict of mauslaughter. The lawyer warmly congratulated his client. As the jury were separating the old Irish man leaned over to the lawyer and exultantly whispered: . 'Bedad, I had tn divil av time av it. Eliyin O thim were for lettin' him go entirely From .'The Prisoner al the Bar.
 Some men are actually never satis- fled. and it is no use trying to please them. Many a woman has found this out only after she has worn her life to a frazzle over the impossible task. A. case in point is furnished by Cleveland. O.. man. He must have been a very impatient sort of fellow or this story would never have been a part of the current history of the Ohio city named after the man who was once President of the United States, and who made fame as leutEiDdB. HIS 14SsFldDd ludl otHb into court with a petition for divorce, and for cause of action and as a reason why he should be allowed to go it alone the rest ofhis life, he told the court with all due formality that his wife had hit him at different times with "a hatchet. a glass dish, a spittoon. piece of sewer pipe, a scrubbing brush, the family ragbag, and a rubber overshoe." Now, what did the fellow want? the earth?
 Well, well. and so they are trying to make fuss about it. How strange, and altogether ridiculous. It is all on account of masquerade ball--a very swell ball-at Hyannis, Neb., with all the swell bellies and swell beaux of the town present. By the time the ball was in full swing it came to be generally accepted that the best two costumes on the floor were worn by gentlemen who were representing respectively the charac- ! ters of George Washington and Uncle Sam, and the wearers of these cos tunes soon demonstrated that they were the best dancers on the floor, and altogether in their join capacity the very glass of fashion and the mould of form.'' There was rush on the part of the swell bellies to dance with them that rivaled the attack on a bargain counter, and George and Sam had the pick of the