The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

hasheesh. get drunk and happy if
the stuff is good.
"Digitalis, the heart stimulant. is
tested on frogs. We inject a drop of
1t into frogs stomach, and in the
kymograph, or heart-recording ma
chine, we study the changes that take
place In the frogs heart action. Thus
we get very accurate knowledge of
what our digitalis can do.
DO we ever test drugs on our
selves? Oh, yes. indeed: often. Chem.
lists have lost their lives, chemists
have gone incurably insane, through
too rash bravery in testing drugs on
their own persons. Los Angeles
Times
A Solid Liquid.
Capt. Biglow of Yale was talking
about an applicant for the football
team.
"He will never make a football
player" said Capt. Biglow. "He is as
bottle of brown fluid beheld last
summer was different from beer.
A man with motorcycle stopped
at mountain inn where I was lunch
ing one sultry afternoon. and asked
for a bottle of beer. The landlord
with cobwebs. He busted it. and set
it before the cyclist with a flourish.
You'll find this the best Mil
waukee, SIR he said.
1.-THE cyclist opened the bottle,
poured a little into a glass, and
frowned.
Landlord he said. this is very
thick and muddy beer
The landlord lifted the glass and
looked at it. He tilted it from side to
side. 1t was SO thick and muddy that |
it would scarcely spill.
It's the thunder he amuttered. |
It's the thunder. that has done this
"'Well, thunder or no thunder, |
can't drink it, said the motorcyclist; |
but I'll tell you what you might do.
You might put it in a paper bag for
me, and I'll eat it on my way home
But Not His
Nothing suited old Abe Jenkins Cor,
Uncle Abe, as we boys called him) bet
ter, after his days work, than to sit
in his cosy nook by the kitchen fire
and smoke his old corn-cob. His wife,
on the other hand, liked excitement.
and would take in anything and every
thing from a funeral to a patent nled-
cine show on the street corner. On one
occasion. however, the old lady sue
ceeded in persuading Uncle Abe to go |
with her to see a phrenologist, whose
clever advertising even interested old
Abe a little. The old couple, arriving
front row. Much to the amusement of
the crowd, and especially Mrs. Jenkins,
Uncle Abe was chosen as subject for
the professor to experiment on.
"And now" said the phrenologist,
Mr.. Jenkins, among many physical
discomforts, you are troubled with cold
feet Also
"Yes!" yelled Uncle Abe, looking tow
ard the front row; but they are not
my own.'-Judge's Library.
Museum Nuisances.
"Our greatest nuisances are low
ers," said a museum curator. 'Why
do lovers always select museums to
meet in? Because. I suppose, the !
rooms are so large and quiet. with so !
many secluded hooks.
eat any rate, Cupid continually en- ,
harnesses me here. I hurry round '
case of stuffed birds. and seated be- /
hind a mastodon 1 see a young man
and girl passionately kissing each I
others mouths. With a blush I turn ,
back to the reptilian section. only to {
ind an elderly clergyman, in the shei- =,
Ter of a case of dried cobras, holding a I
Young woman's hand and making
stately, old-fashioned offer Of mar V
,iage 1 switch off to the Egyptian 6
,oom, but there a stout girl is sitting /
On a thin mans lap behind a mummy t
case.
"a museum is a wonderful rendez- /
,ous for lovers. Come. now. did you
never meet your girl in one ?"-Ex- t
change. 5
The Prudent Piper.
Thomas F. Ryan. the noted financier.
vas talking about music in the smoke
DOM of the Deutschland.
"I like all music he said. except {
;uch native and special sorts as the I
the bagpipes, or the indian 7
lufaa give off.
Speaking of bagpipes, did YOU ever e
notice how a piper Frances up and |
Town as he pipes? He never sits, he
lever stands still, but up and down, q
.ound and round, to and fro he struts :
!
"a little boy, listening to the weird I
kirl Of the bagpipes of a street per- s
ormer, once said to his father:
Father, why does the piper keep
m the move all the time he plays? t
"I can't say, my boy the father an C
wered, unless it is to prevent any one v
,etting the range with a cobblestone.
A New Definition.
A rather cynical joke has been re-
ently credited to Senator Platt. C
The Senator. on his last visit to the n
Manhattan Beach hotel allowed II
,retty little girl, a Western million h
Tres daughter, to be presented to
lin.
The little girl. in the course of one y
f her many delightful chats with the II
ged statesman. said: il
TELL me. won't you, Senator, what s.
'olitical economy is?" II
Political economy, my dear child, s.