The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1907-12-21
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awake? Jinks-How do | known I |
Journal.
NELL think Maud has more color
than her sister. BELIEVES; about 80
cents worth more.-Philadelphia Rec
ord.
do you believe that the good die
young?" II think they do, II all my
wife tells me about her first husband
is k-Me-Up.
Cautious Customer Gin drug store)-
How much do you charge for dimes
worth OF tooth powder7 New Clerk
Twenty-Five cents.-Chicago Daily
News.
"The doctors have finally agreed
upon the cause of Markleys Illness"
"Ah, they've held another consulta-
tion?" "No; post-mortem. "-Philadei
phia Press.
Lawyer-As your husband died intes-
tate. you Will, OF course, get third.
Widow-Oh, 1 hope to get my fourth.
He was my third. you know.-Town
and Country.
tnOuh1l eOu ntlt nldAAlSQs dh0
yet you're sewing on your own but
tons" 81 am married, but 1 keep my
independence, let me tell you."-Meg-
gendorfer Blatter.
Scrlbbler-I understand the inmates
Of the Home for the Feeble Minded are
going to publish a magazine. Quibbler
Isn't the field rather overcrowded?-
Philadelphia Record.
Wife docking up from her book
You know a great many things, John ;
now, what do you think should be done
In case of drowning? Husband
Have a funeral, l should think.
Cynicus-I have been engaged to OIL
least a dozen girls. Sllicus-Always
been unlucky in love, eh? Cynicus-
oh, l don't know. I've never married
any OF them--Philadelphia Record
Butcher-Come, John, be lively now
break the bones in Mr.. Simpsons
chops and put Mr.. Smiths ribs In your
basket John-All right, sir; just as
soon as I've sawed of Mr.. Murphy's
leg.
! George" murmured the young wife
"am l as dear to you now as 1 was
before we marriedf" Il can't exactly
tell" replied the husband, absent-mind
eddy. II didn't keep any account Of m,
expenses then"
Mr.. Chips docking up from the pa
r)-The doctors have discovered an
other new disease. Mrs. Chipps-Well
l wish they'd stop looking for new dis
eases long enough to find cure for m
DID rheumatism.
Old Scotch farmer (having spent 81.
9 ,ence on a race ticket for a pony ant
q trap, value ESQ, and having won)
' shown the prize. After gazing critical
( ly at 1t for some minutes: -"Bu
' whaur's the whup?'
ChapleIgh-I say, druggist, can 20
: -aw-give me something to-aw-
: bwighten me up, doncher known Drul
{ gist-You're in the wrong place, youn
: man. This Is a drug store, not nigf
school.-Chicago Daily News.
what pleased me most" said I'll
4 man who had been abroad, was ii
i wonderful clock at Strasburg." "Ol
Il how I should like to see it!' reptile
/ the ignorant youth. And did you 81
q the watch on the Rhine, tooT
|. District visitor-What has brougl
you to the destitute condition? Appl
. cant-It's my wife, mum. "Your wife
How 10 that7" "Well, you see, nun
I've got her three good situations. ar
! I'm blessed IL she could keep one I
y them
D "Yes," said old Roxley, my daugl
ter is to be married next month to LoI
BrokeleIgh." "Ah" remarked Il
friend, 'everything's settled, Ell
Ia well, guess mott You don't ketC
me paying In advance. "-Philadelph
= Press
lie "Of course, Tommy" said the Sundi
If school teacher, you'd like to be an a
d gel. wouldn't your weller
yes'm," replied Tommy. "but I'd Ill
to wait till 1 can be a full-grown ang
re- with gray whiskers." = Philadelph
Press.
a.; First Summer Girl--who is tn
III clean-shaven, handsome boy7 SecoI
ns Summer Glrl-Oh. he's an actor. Fir
Summer Girl-No; 1 mean the 9th
n one. Second Summer Girl-Oh,
hasn't any money. either.-Harpel
Weekly.
a Little Boy-Mamma, | wish you
find out who 1t was hypnotized me, a
punish 'em severely. Mamma-Wha-s
Little Boy-while you was out l W
n- pulled right into the pantry, an fore
to eat a hull lot OF those cakes y
. said | mustn't touch
How are you. Broom" asked
blum old sailor OF fop who was
- ways annoyed unless he was address
as Mr.. Broom, and who responds
"I'd have you TO know, sir, that I
a handle to my name" "Oh. all rigi
n How are you. Broom handler
A lady has a grumpy servant too
T. tie given to washing. Other hints hi
! ing failed, the mistress said, In a &c
- OF deep confidence, Il am told, Ma
n; that II you wash the face every day
,s hot. soapy water it will make you be-
tiful." 'will It, now?' answered Ma
/, Its wonder you haven't tried
d. yourself"
Nal.