The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1907-12-01

~ W1NA ~ - -
Aunt sally says Cousin Maroellus.
YOU could "a knocked me over with n
chicken feather. an | Jest Couldn't say "A
word. An by an by that Teller begun
agln, an he says:
"'-That nerve twistin' shot OF yer
uncle's." he says, lest mummiKed around
in the Door bars head, painin' him onmerci-
ful. an when it come out IL tore him an
mummixed him some more. An when the
bullet sOcked itself into the ~onKOrtunit
buck, It tore a hole In him, an mummixod
around inside Of him, an no one will ever
know the misery IL give him till he up an
dledl Yer uncle ought to been ashamed
OF himself, fer IL he'd "a now how TO
Teller.
afI jest sot there. Aunt Sally, an couldn't
say a word, | was so took back at this here
hoidin' up Of Uncle 500 that way, an the
feller took another big bite out OF his plug
an went on to say AZ how the meroiTul man
"a be nerclful to his beast an never num-
mix At or give it pain IL no knOwed how to
shoot.
1.-THE way we shoot down here in Texas"
nothin'. Fer instance, IN tell you about
the time l was down on Jad Bitkin's ranch.
an the way a bal was carryin' on Jad's
sheeP;
ninth sheep l says to Jad that I'd be- dog
goned II il want time IN call a halt ON Bruin,
an started out TO call 1t. l come ON TO
the bar where he was layin' sound asleep
ON the edge of a thicket. mebbe a hundred
yards ahead o me.
THE way he was layin'.' 90 tho Hellex
went on to say, Il couldn't give him my
stone dead shot, an bein' bound not 20
mummix him or give him a seconds pain
Twas on the pint o. yellin' at him an scarin'
nun sos he'd jump an let me git my proper
shot, when l ris my eyes an seen q thumpin'
big buck deer layin' on the ground three
rod or so ahead o. the bar, In chawin'
his cud as contented an could be.
1 was wantin' ies' setch a buck IA that
un.' says n Teller. an l h hauled up to cut
loose an sever the left ventrickle Of his
heart. which d let him pass away without a
an with the taste Of his cud still in his
mouth, when out oi the thicket strutted a
big cock puhraira chicken an a hen side
by side hadn't no sooner seen 'em than
| was glad we knowed how to shoot down
here without mummixin' our game or givin'
1t pain.
bill. below his eyes, there's a bunch o.
nerves that IL you give a sudden shock TO
viii Kill the bird deader'n a pi2ened coyote
an, q~uicker'n lightnin'.' says the Teller.
All you got to do IL to send yer rife bullet.
as the chicken gifts up TO fly, SOS it'll whizz
right over that bunch o. nerves 80 close
that II IL was a hair closer it would break
the skin. an thar's yer q bird without
~ w " NA"F SASNNs NA =
l laid my plans.
"'"Al I had to do says the Teller. was
to separate the spine % the bars back
ies' at h base o. the brain. the way we
always pink bar dOwn here. an the bar ID
die in the middle Of a breath. So I waited
till the chickens strutted along. side by
side, to the pint l had calkelated fer EN-
TO git before I sot my plans to wOrkin', an
then let go a yell.
1.-THE bar woke up an sprung to his
l faQt hrnaHaiHRf IN ma The hInCE rfE lilo n
flash. an the two birds got up neck an
neck. | let my rife belch.
"'~The b'ar sunk down an laid thar
ez Il ne had jes' took up his nap ag'in. The
puhTaira chickens come down side by side.
an thar they laid. e2ac'y OF II they was
only takin' a little waller in the dust. The
! buck lolled right back on the spot whar he
was chawin' his cud when ! first seen him.
an he looked so doggone natur'l that I
I thought at first l had miscalkeIated IN
| mebbe hadn't cut the left ventrickle clean
of, an he vas alive yit an with a misery,
but when l went up to him an looked l
seen that l hadn't no room fer sorrow on
that pint. The ventrickle was cut as II il
had been done with a pair o. shears.
--An' my calkelation hadn't run shy
nOwhar. The spine o. the bars back was
severed jest at the neck. my bullet havin'
! ~ploughed only deep enough to do il. an
mark on neither one o. them puhraira
chickens. fer the bullet had jest SKINNED
that bunch o. nerves on zach one Of EN-
an shocked EN- to death. an then went
right on an cut the buck left ventrickle.
al according TO calkelation an KNOWN
how TO shoot. Thar van a, mummix nor
a pain amongst EN-.
~'"Yes. sir" says the Teller. that air
uncle o. yourn was a doggone mummi1er
of his game, an a pain giver to il, an he
ought to been ashamed Of himself. fer il
he'd a knowed low to shoot he wouldn't
"a lone it,
$50 don't mention EN- TO me. Aunt
SaNyl' says Cousin Marcellus. Don't
mention. 'em TO mel It's a wonder roofs
don't fall onto EN-, or earthquakes yawn
an swaller OF 'em upl How they kin set
an dare to tell the things they do Is more
than J. Kin figger outl An the way they
held up Uncle Soc an his wonderful shot
] o. course l couldn't stay amongst EN-,
an SO l come away. says he.
We'll says Aunt Sally, never mind.
| Marcellus,' says she. DinnerW be- ready
in a minute. an though I'm tremendous
sorry you didn't shame 'em with one o.
them nerve twistin' shots O. your unde
Soc T~inklepaugh's. it won't spite our pork
an cabbage says she.
-Uncle David put up the almanick an
sot down TO dinner, not haVin' said a word.
He kind o. spluttered an chOked. though,
as he eat. an his disapp' intment KEEP w
iseemin'ly as heartsickenin' as ever. When
he got through his dinner he lie his pipe,
an turnin' to Cousin Marcellus he says:
You either took my warnin' an didn't
TinkIepauRh in Texas says he. or else
Texas is a bigger disapp'intmen to me
than a COW with the holler hornl' says ne.
II YOU T~inklepaughed in Texas an are
back here to tell of il, then Texas has lost
her reputation fer dealin' out retribution
swift an sure. an she's fell helpless by
the wayside. where anybody kin go an
pull her nose!' says Uncle David. an he
went out with hat heartsickenin' dis
appointment shown on him as plain as
the wen on his nose.
Cousin Marcellus didn't say nothin',
but reached fer another piece o. punkin
pie, an / went over lords the boiler to
see what signs there was o. coon.
y
Nh. GRAYBOY.