The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-16

~S VIE Lana oOx OOWN AZ
LUNCHEON"
any n of EN- away from us and de
loss could not be made up in a hun.
dred years. Natur' makes no mis-.
takes. She knowed what de GUILD
man would want when she created
him. and as soon as he arrived on
airth he found dose four things wait.
In for him. and he was told to go RICH,
ahead and enjoy hisself.
II shall speak Of de watermillyon
alone dis %eavenin'. 1t has de shortest
season Of any Of de four, and it seems
to come clusser to de Guild man dan
any Of de rest. De possum, de yam
and de chicken bring up bright antici.
pashuns. but when you want sunthin'
to make We mouf water and de heels
to lift up off de ground you sot down
on de doahsteps and let your thoughts
dwell on de watermillyon.
"Who was de first Guild man? !
answer Ham. can't find out any.
thing about his fadder and mudder
but as nigh as I kin find out about
Ham hisself he was jest like any of
us we're tonight. I don't reckon he did
any mo- work dan he was obleeged to-
and If dar had been any odder cull'd
man around he would probably have
tried to borry a dollar now and den.
Found Heap Of Good Things.
Ham found a heap of good things
waitin' fur him. Oar was fat rab.
bits, great big wild plums and straw
berries Oh de hillsides. Oar was wild
taters and razorbacked hawgs and
ducks and geese flyin' around. He
libed high and slept late In de mawn'
in, but dar come a day when he lost
his appetite and got dumpish. He was
longin' fur somethin' dat he hadn't
found yet He begun to fall away In
speerits and flesh, and nobody kin tel
what would hev happened to him in dc
end had he not made a diskivery.
Ham was wanderin' about one sum
mer's day, thinkin' he was not long full
dis world and havin' n yearnin' da,
made his head ache. when a mammoth
twenty-eight feet high and weighin
5000 pounds got after him and pu,
him on de hump fur ober twenty
miles. When de old mammoth let uT
Ham found hisself in n strange ken
try and in de midst Of a watermillyor
patch Of five acres in extent. De fruit
had no name at dat time. 1t lay dal
ready to be devoured. Some Of de
fruit was about as big as a stovepipe
hat and some as big as a bar'l. Some
was green yet. and some was Dustin
open and shown de red core.
Don't you go to bettin' dat Han
didn't pitch into dose millyons. He
been huntin' fur so long. He jest roll
ed twenty of de biggest ones together
and sot down fur luncheon. When ht
had eaten all he could he went to sleeI
for a couple Of hours and woke up t.
tear de red hearts out of some mo-
He was jest like a steer in a co'nield
He stayed right dar fur two days an(
nights and hogged down millyons ant
slept by turns, and when he finally go
frew he was a different Ham. He hat
also giben to mankind dat was to CONF
arter him a new fruit and a new Joy.
"You can't find anywhere in de Scrip
lures or in history dat de white mar
diskivered de watermillyon. He wa.
on airth befo' Ham, but he wasn't look
In around.
christopher Columbus diskiverei
America. in which at de present time
am 456 trusts. maxim 1t as lively a.
possible fur de people, but Ham dis
kfyoro1 do fruit dat brings Inv IN 200
100000 people annually.
Napoleon conquered de world. bu'
Ham glib de world sunthin' to turn
around on and lick Napoleon.
Hams Great Discovery.
Harvey diskivered de circulation O
De blood, but Ham diskivered eunthin