davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06
The Condition Of the Soldier.

In seeking for reasons to account for
the difficulty Of keeping the regular army
up to the strength fixed by law. and for
the distaste which many young men show
for the service, a good deal has been
said about the low wages of the enlisted
man as compared with what can be
earned in civil life There is a good
deal Of agitation looking to an Increase
or pay for the private soldier, and It Is
probable that the next Congress win do
something IN this regard. Advocates Of
higher pay declare that Canadian sol
diers get more than Uncle Sans men.
as 90 also the Cuban rurales. While we
believe that army and navy pay should be
raised all along the line, there is some
thing to be said In behalf Of existing
conditions. After all, the private soldier
on $ls a month is not badly off. The
rest OF Us. no matter what our station,
have cause 10 complain Of the rapidly
growing disparity between the price Of
the commodities necessary to life and the
rate OF salary and wages Such disparity
is not felt at all by the soldier. who Is fed.
and fed well, at the expense OF the govern
ment, lodged and clothed, provided with
medical attendance, and assured. after
certain term Of faithful service, a COM
Portable and well-kept home in which to
end his days
The pay OF the private soldier is nearly
all clear profit. A small sum Is deducted
toward a pension fund He has to pay
q minimum rate for mis- washing, but the
remainder OF his money he may spend
on luxuries If he desires. Every encour-
agement to thrift is offered, and before
tho weil-behaved and diligent soldier lies
the hope Of promotion with substantial
increase Of pay.
No matter what conditions in the army
might be. there would. OF course. always
be grumblers and discomfort. But all
things considered. tho army, even in the
ranks, offers a career Of which no young
and ambitious American need be asham-
ed The best proof Of this is that many
an officer whose son has failed to enter
West Point or TO pass his examinations
has permitted the lad TO enlist and take his
chance of working upward That chance
is always th4re, and the man who, lack
ing special industrial training, enters the
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06
New York.s All.nisht police Court.

New York's Ali-night Police Court.
Perhaps nothing demonstrates so clearly
the hurry we are in nowadays as the es-
tablishment last week Of an ali-night po-
lice court in New York City. 1t is the
latest development Of the all-night craze
sort Of modern realization of the old
English drinking song which ran
The best Of all ways
To engthen our days
Is 20 steal a few hours from the night. my love"
All-night saloons in many cities are an
old story All-night restaurants have long
been known Some years ago an enter
prisng New York pawnbroker decided
to keep his shop open all night for the
benefit OF those unfortunates who wanted
to negotiate loans on what Wemmick
called portable property" Then came
the all-night bank-the aH-night faro
bank had long been 9 nourishing institu-
making life seem longer. comes this all
night police court. The first night II was
opened in New York over 225 cases were
disposed of. One magistrate handled sixty
cases between II: 80 and 1890 o'clock, an
average Of one minute. To enliven the
busy hour there appeared an intoxicated
lawyer TO plead for an intoxicated client.
The lawyer was elected from the court.
arrested. and himself fined, all before
morning.
One dreadful commentary on the new
court. in view of the wave Of crime which
is now ingUlfng New York City. is the
primary cause for its being. This was
the horde Of professional bondsmen who
haunted the police stations and who made
small fortunes in bailing out unfortunates
who were willing to pay roundly rather
than remain locked up until their cases
could be tried in the morning. Many OF
these bondsmen stood in with the DO
lice. and the result was any number Of
arrests that were unwarranted. Under the
new system, which promises to work
well, the day courts will be greatly re-
lieved. Men and women arrested for mis-
demeanors viii have hearing within a
very short time OF their arrest, and the
chances for injustice will be reduced 10 a
minimum.
Stiil, Il is a strange departure, this all
night police court, and there will be
many who are thankful that they live in
cities and towns where life is not so
strenuous as TO require such an aid 10
modern civilization.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06

any event, and that could only be deter
mined by appeal to the Supreme Court.
Fortunately. the wiser course OF COM
promise commended itself 10 all parties 10
the affair. and the whole controversy win
now pass through the orderly processes
Of the courts.
Thus It has come about. in both Virginia
and North Carolina. that the use of the
Federal writ of injunction to nullify State
action has proved abortive through the
REIMBURSEMENT. more or less voluntarily,
Of the rights granted petitioners for the
writ. A most interesting chapter in the
history Of the relations Of the Federal and
State governments has been opened by
events in these two States-a chapter that
is by no means concluded.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06
RIpples.

The world is full of people who are
afraid 10 think
The good must be content with virtue.
for they seldom enjoy the spot light
When a woman is out Of town il is a
sign that her husband thinks he is having
a good time when he isn't
II love can stand poverty It can stand
anything.
Happiness lies over the hill. That's why
we ought 20 keep climbing.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
THE COMMON CRY.

Quoth links: by day. my fiat is hot.
l won't contend that il Is not.
But just remember, IL you please,
At night we always get q breeze"
Quoth Binks: Until the sun gees down
The country is Just like the town,
But every SWamphurst man agrees
At night we always get breeze
If l should with old Satan meet
And talk to him about the heat,
III bet he'd swear with fluent ease:
AT night we always get a breeze
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06

Mr. Roosevelt says he wishes he might
make farm life attractive Mr.. Hartman
would probably be perfectly willing to
furnish him n farm and a mule. provided
he seeks an exhaustive and personal ex-
pertinent
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06
Unreliable southern Leaders.

From the Macon Telegraph.
We need a wholesome revival Of State
rights doctrines, but It viii be unfortu-
nate. If not dangerous, II the fight is to
be led by reckless and senseless Southern
men like Vardaman, JefTries Davis, not 20
mention the ADLER Tillman. There is
danger that a good cause will be greatly
injured. if not wrecked, by younger
set OF wild-eyed Southerners.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06
The Careful BACHELOR.

He fell in love with pretty maids
And fell right out again.
For when Il came 20 marrying,
He managed 10 refrain
Unscathed. he went his joyous way
And frolickeG as he pleased.
BY pangs Of all-cOnsuming love
His heart was never seized.
But when his hair was growing gray
And life was nearly done
He wished a thousand times that ne
Had wed at twenty-one.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06
Reducing swollen Perfume.

From the Baltimore American.
With imposition Of fines running into
the millions, Uncle Sam is prov ing him
self real philanthropist. He is going to
the aid Of those unfortunate multi-mil-
lionaires who have been grooming Of late
over the burdens Of wealth and telling the
public how enviable a condition Is the
poverty that has no cares and RESPONSE
bilities
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06
A Plea.

Just let me live on Easy street,
Tho others may decry
The lazy methods of a man
Who doesn't want 10 try.
Old Easy street looks pretty good
To any chap like me,
Who has a home In Rocky Row,
At Number 81
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06
ADRIFT WITH THE TINES.
From the Birmingham Age-Herald
The Umpfre's Homecoming.

The UmpiFe's Homecoming.
His little wife stood weeping In the
shadow Of the door,
And when she saw his form appear she
trem5led all the more
They brought him on a window blind that
did a window screen,
And everybody yielded to the pathos of
the scene.
He called Red out at home" they said.
and then the team came on
And when they finished bruising him the
spark Of lie was gone
He was so young twas sad TO see him
meet so hard fate
But twenty hundred fans declare that
Reddy touched the platter
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06
The Depth of Mlsgoxernment.

From the New York Tribune
The Kentucky traveller who was ar
rested and fined in Texas for taking
drink Of whisky on board a railroad train
win probably want to amend Col. Wat
terson's judgment that Kentucky Is now
the worst governed State In the Union"
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06
ARE YOU GOING AWAY?

Subscribers who leave the city
temporarily should have The
Washington Herald mailed 10
them. Addresses viii be changed
as often as requested. You can
not keep fully informed about
affairs In Washington unless
your paper follows you.
Before leaving. mail or tele-
phone your address to this Of
fee.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06
Desire to Buy Boil weevils.

Have you any boil weevils for sale? If
so, It Is quite possible that you may find
a customer down in Texas, the farmers
of some parts Of which State are Offering
. cents per hundred for the dreaded foe
of the cotton plant. Probably those offer
ing the pests will be asked to prove that
their collections were obtained in Texas.
however. for the planters there are not
anxious TO import supplies, by any man
ner of means.
People who have lived in the Western
prairie States know all about the Offering
of bounties for scalps Of wolves and prai-
RE dogs, but the payment Of a fixed price
for the devastating insect which has cost
the cotton farmers Of the country many
millions Of dollars doubtless is novel to
most citizens. 1t is one of many methods
adopted in the fight against the pest. and
planters who have tried it say that II is
worth while. A good weevil hunter. II is
said, can round up approximately 1000 Of
the pests IN a day.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06
A PRACTICAL optImist.

From the Boston Herald.
Mr.. Hartman not only breaches OPP
timism, but he practices it likewise.
Witness the advancing Of the dividend
rate of another Of his big railroad prop
critics. Faith without works sufficeth not.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06

Mr. Bryan insists that the supreme
qualification in a candidate is what he
stands for" It is necessary for the cam
paign managers. however, to ascertain
how much "the interests" will stand for
In the event Of his nomination.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06

Mr. Sid Tapp. Atlanta's most famous
trust buster. says that he will not let up
until the last enemy Of the republic is
down and out. Evidently Tapp has come
to stay
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06
The FatnI Chorns Girl

From the Louisville Courier-Journal.
Howard Chandler Christy has nervous
prostration as a result Of having painted
his famous chorus girls too assiduously
But think what It might have been. Some
men have married 'em.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06
There Was n Rush.

1 see there is a scarcity of men at
Lethargy Beach. and an oversupply Of
beautiful girls"
Not now. I saw that report So did
several thousand other fellows, most Of
whom paid board in advance
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06

from the Chicago Record Herald
II may be supposed that Mr.. Foraker
forgot for a few minutes the other dav
that there was such place as Browns
vile on the map.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06

1T is a crime to accept money for
poetry" says William Dean HoweIls.
Then what is it to accept money for the
great bulk of the stuff that gets into the
magazines under the guise OF poetry?
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06
Emulation.

There's one great trouble about this
unparalleled prosperity"
What's THAR"
Keeps everybody broke living up TO it,
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06

The Louisville Courier Journal says that
Mr.. Hughes, Of New York. is both a
statesman and an honest man" Is the
combination considered SO very rare in
the Empire State?
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06

Raisoui has stolen three hundred Of the
Sultan's wives, and refuses to give them
up. 1t appears that this old reprobate is
anxious to make up with his majesty.
after all
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06
Her Real Education.
From LIE.

From Life.
You cannot marry my daughter, sir,
until her education is completed"
But her education can't be completed
until after she has married me-"
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06

A Baltimore woman has Instituted d.
vorce proceedings against her deceased
husband. She is evidently determined not
to take chances on any Enoch Arden fool
ishness.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06

Have you a $1,000 bill in your pocket?"
demands the Savannah News. To be per-
fectly truthful. no; but we have several
in our mind
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06

army TO win is pretty sure not 10 re-
main a private soldier on Sl3 a month
very long.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06
The Drawback.

Travel broadens the mind"
Declares one sheet.
But. pshawi II, too. We find,
Flattens the feet.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06

What do you do when the jokes won't
come. as in the present instance?"
I keep a-smillng." answered the press
humorist displaying a sickly sample
grin.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06

Mr.. Bryce. the British Ambassador. says
this country faces a most glorious flu
ture That. however. is what an ambas-
sador is expected 10 say.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06
Thought lie Mennt yncntion.

Where shall you spend eternity?" de-
manded the solemn man. with the frayed
vest
Down on the farm as usual" replied
Muchpop. But say, old fellow, it amt
really that bad"
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06
Tainted Name

From the Philadelphia Press.
The government will be careful. Of
course, not to take tainted. money when
1t collects that S2s.OOo,000 fine.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06

The sea serpent has been unusually con-
spicuous by his absence from the resorts
this summer. Perhaps this is one tangible
result Of the nature faker crusade.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06

A man was arrested recently In New
York for throwing applecores on the side
walk He was probably mistaken for
some crazy millionaire.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06

The Houston Post is still attempting to
fool the country into believing that its
little old gourd-shaped muskmelons are
real cantaioupes
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06

A scientist claims TO have discovered a
taleless comet. The general public will
withhold comment until the President has
passed upon the matter
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06

An effort Is to be made to erect the
tallest building in the world in Pittsburg.
At least, that tow shows disposition
to smoke up on such a proposition.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06

Two Missouri gentlemen have gone to
court to determine the identity of Gains
Wife OF course, this indefinitely post
pones the solution of the question.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06

From the Atlanta Journal.
Some of the most violent opponents of
Mr.. Bryan's views on government own
ership cannot forgive him for having
modified them.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06

A practical joker In Pittsburg blew red
pepper into the atmosphere Of a crowded
theater. and sneeZed himself TO death as
a result Occasionally the innocent by
stander gets revenge
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06

An authority claims that a whale can
swallow an automobile. But how can you
coax the automobile down where the
whale can get at il?
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06
THE CAPTAINS CREED.
LITTLE opportunities.

Little opportunities,
Improved with proper care,
Help chaps promotion
To an easy clair.
Little friends political.
Cultivated right.
Make a lot Of difference
In the upward fight.
Little bits Of influence,
Gathered on the way,
Help 10 make the generals
IN the y. s. Il
aISfs.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06

That New York policeman who Is said
10 have accumulated a million dollars
must feel that he has a pretty fair nest
egg for a beginner in his business.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06
A Bit Unusual.

Another marriage in the smart set
anything unusual about it?'
Yes; they admit that every precau-
ton was taken to insure publicity"
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06
Celebrate First Launching.

Three hundred years ago this week the
first ship built on American soil was
launched at Bath, Me The vessel was
the Virginia. and. although called a ship.
was more like a haif-brig. S. ~ q
some forty tons burden. and was built
oH the site OF what is now busy ship
yard. She made several voyages be-
tween the English settlement at James
town and London. and she became so
well known that the people OF Bath. Ne.
have decided to celebrate the tercentenary
Of her launching this week
After the completion OF the Virginia
no ships were built al Bath for some
seventy years. Then the shipbulding in
dustry took root there and has continued
to flourish ever since, although the out
put at the present IS not nearly as large
as ii was few years ago. The decrease.
indeed, amounts 20 about Is per cent.
Bath having constructed 1900 tons OF
shipping in 1899 as compared with ap-
proximately 1000 last year. The five
masted schooner Is the type Of vessel
which is now built in greater numbers
than any other
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06
No. SfEniecout

rs Wilkins much Of an athlete2"
ooh. no. He merely belongs 10 an ath-
IetiC club.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06

Tobacco has been judicially defined as
a necessity" This still leaves the dead
~ cigarette unclassified.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06

II Mr.. TAFT is nominated, there will
doubtless be great rejoicing in the con-
vention hall, but We do not believe he
will be carried around the building on
the shoulders OF his admiring friends.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06

Perhaps the whole trouble started in
Georgia when the late governor gave that
boozeless banquet just before going ont Of
Office.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06
Good Thing To Forr.t.

Georgia Will soon begin to take interest
In the tabloid beer gentleman.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06

Washlngtonian. whose name IS IA
miliar TO practically every resident Of
the Capital, 10 say nothing Of several
thousands Of people in other sections OF
the country, has pet name for his wife.
Il is precious lamb" Not long ago he
found IL necessary TO engage the serv-
ices Of a new colored maid. who, nat
urally, could not be expected to be ia
miliar with such things as Pct names
The maid served dinner the first day Of
her arrival She made famous progress
and the Washington man ard his wife
were silently congratulaung themselves
on their good fortune. Finally. the maid
brought on the meat course. and the
head Of the family commenced TO carve
VIII you have some Of this, precious
lamb?" he inquired, beaming across the
table at his wife.
Then spoke up the new maid. "'Scuse
me. sah.' said she. in ignorance Of the
pet name and mmindful OF the pause
after the word this" 'scuse me; dat
amt lamb: OATS po'k"
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06
MEN AND THINGS.
Judge Lands, Future.

People who are wei acquainted with the
by no means ordinary personality OF
Judge Kenesaw Mountain Lands. who
has become a national figure as a result
of the trial OF the Standard Oil cases in
his court and his action in levying a
S29,0o000O fine, are wondering If the judge
has political aspirations. While there
may be some slight difference of opinion
as to the justice OF his decision. no ore
who knows him believes he did aught bat
that he though was right; but, never
theless, the suggestion has been made
that he had an eye on the future when
he imposed the huge fine on the concern
Of which john d. Rock teller is the
tituldr head. II has occurred to some Of
the judges friends, for instance, that
his connection with the Standard Oil case
makes him an exceptionally available
candidate for the Vice Presidential
nomination next year Such blow as
he has dealt the Rockefeller corporation
is likely to appeal strongly to a certain
class Of voters, and the Republican party
may need some such material in the forth
take up tariff revision or to make any
real Roadway against the trusts.
Another theory is that Judge Lands
ambition tends in tho direction OF the
Supreme Court Of the United States,
and that ne is impressed with the idea
that such action as he took in the
Standard Oil case might help along that
ambition by attracting President Roose-
yeltS attention 10 him. OF course, all
such opinions as these may be unjust in
the extreme TO the Chicago jurist and
IN more than ore quarter the belief is ex-
pressed that they are. However that may
be, conservative observers of politics think
that Judge Lands will become a figure
OF great power in the political world II
the higher courts affirm his action, and
that his prestige viii be added to even if
they take the opposite course. which. in
cidentally, is generally considered the
more probable development.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06
STANDARD OILS PENALTY,
Discussion of the Fine
Levied by Judge Landfs.
From the Baltimore Sun

FROM the baltimore slT
II convictions Of the alleged oil trust
merely mean that the company viii col
lect the amount OF fines. and perhaps
more, from consumers Of oil, it is con-
ceivable that the public may petition the
President to save them in the future from
such disastrous victories II is an anon
alous condition, indeed, in which the
supremacy Of the law is Synonymous with
further raids upon the peoples pocket
books-when another great victory for
Mr.. Roosevelt means the imposition of
grievOus burdens upon all patrons OF the
Standard Oil Company.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06

A single month in jail for any director
Of the Standard Oil Company would be
more effective than a sl00, 100000 fine i'm
posed on each OF them. Six months or
a year for those whose guilt is estab-
lished would make the Standard Oil Com
pany a very docile and law-abiding corpo-
ration, and. incidentally. would furnish.
an example by which other law-defying
monopolies would be very quick to
profit.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06
From the springfela RepuhlIcan.

From the Springfield Republican.
Since the company can only be fined. it
Is clear that in order not to be farcical
the fine must draw blood. Nor do the
people. in their approval Of Judge Ian
dis action. forget that for many years
the oil monopoly has been persistent
and notorious violator of the laws. It's
present supremacy is largely built up
on the criminal rebate. How many fines
would be needed TO punish it adequately
for all of its past offenses against law
and morality?
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06

The Russian authorities have jailed an
American for wearing a flaming red neck
tie. Uncle Sam can hardly interfere.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06

No attention t0ilI be paid to anonymous
contributions, and no communications to
the editor 10iH be printed ercept 0Ucr the
name Of the t0Titer.
Manuscripts offered for publication iUiH
be returned If unavoidable, bat stamps
Should be sent 10itA the manuscript for
that purpose.
al communications Intended for this
newspaper, tohetheT for the Dolly or the
SisHday issue, should be addressed to
TIE WASHINGTON HERALD.
The Washington herald., 1907-08-06
From the Philadelphia North American.

br0m the FhladeIphla North American.
There will be no increase in the price
Of oil to Offset this fine. unless it be
true that those whom the gods would
destroy they first make mad" Let one
step toward that thievery be taken. and
there win be laws made swiftly, at Wash
ington and in every State. that viii be
rude in their equity and harsh in their
penalties. because they will voice the
wrath OF a whole people, whose patience
has been tried too far.