The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-04-09

1T was the young lsdies.'
The young ladies?' cried the sur
priscd mistress.
Yes. ma'am," replied Bridget;
they was down here snowin' me how
they baked cake at the cookin'
school, an oi amt had tonne to clane
up yet."-Exchange
=
Doctor Blank. for about twenty
years a professor at the University Of
Virginia, was on the eve of trip TO
Europe to be absent two years lie
made farewell address to his class
after his last lecture. and in pathetic
but, to the class rather narrowing
tones. said In closing.
"Ycs, | am about to part from you.
This is more than distressing to me.
Many happy years have | spent with
you but | must now leave you for a
brief period Would, my dear boys,
that you might see the inmost recesses
OF my heart
A stripping in the rear of the room,
nervous from the narrowing recital
preceding these remarks, Piped out in
shrill voice:
Professor would n pain in the
stomach do?"--Lippincotts.
aWhon unreached ideals assail your
gloomy minds with thought OF
failure
There's a bully little scheme you
might attempt;
have found 1t efficacious. In these
hours of gloom ungracious,
From which no man alive is quite ex.
empt,
Call TO mind the men pursuing work
like that which you are doing.
Who have gained some sort of glory,
place or pelf,
But whom you skin forty ways-you
know It, though no one may praise
you
Then pin a little rose upon yourself
Cleveland Leader
=
"Beg your pardon, sir" said the
man in the suit of failed black but
are you carrying all the life insurance
you want?"
"Yes, sir" answered the man at the
desk, Il am"
could | interest you IN morocco
bound edition of the works of VII.
liam Makepeace Thackery?"
"You could not"
Don't you need a germproof fl
ter at your house?"
Il do not"
Would you invest in good second,
hand typewriter II you could get 1t
cheap"
Il have no use for a typewriter"
Just so Would an offer to supply
you with first-class imported Havana
cigars at $40 hundred appeal to
you?"
mot a cents worth"
How would proposition to sell
you Century Dictionary. slightly
shelf-worn for only $40 strike you?"
ut wouldn't come within 40 miles
of hitting me-
THAT being the case" said the cal
ler. would you be willing to buy a
i1Ocent box of shoe polish just to get
rid OF me?"
Great Scott! Yes"
Thanks Good day."-Chicago Tri
bune.
The late Barney Owens of Point
Breeze was David llarum type o.
character. This noted and successful
Ihorseman had way of saying wise
things with a seasoning of homel,
Ihumor To conceited man who haC
failed egregiously in life Owens saiC
one day at Point Breeze. We'll, Bill
you and | know now II is with SOM
mon. They're so busy blowing thei
own horns that they can never hea
the factory whistle coaxing them u
come to work. City Star.
Mrs. N. G. Black, Of Gardiner, ore
who had received one of the las
awards at the carnegie hero fund 70
her bravery in saving three youn
girls from drowning, was talking abou
bravery the other day
DO | think that bravery, heroisn
! can be cultivated? Yes" she said
In a. sense do. Iieroism Is unsefisf
ness carried to its highest point, an
, children can certainly be trained t
be unselfish.
! There Is only one way to teac
them that, though, and that Is the wa
III