Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1907-11-30
BINCS HAD INSOMNIA
50 NE TRIED the PAINTING CURE
FOR 4 CHANGE

teri"
Don't sleep very WE'LL replied
Bings, shortly. Been trying to cure
my insomnia"
We'll" said the head bookkeeper,
judiciously, I'm troubled that way
sometimes myself. Ever try little
hot milk just before retiring?"
There was hostile glitter in
Bings' eye. Yes" he said, 1--WE
tried little hot milk. I've also tried
the lukewarm bath and the young
onions. and chewing my food, and
the rest of 1t. And last night / tried
the painting, cure"
1.-THE painting cure?" echoed the
bookkeeper. And what is that?"
Bings went into his vest pocket and
flashed out newspaper clipping. 1t
was from one of the Numerous depart
ments that women run in the evening
paper, in which they tell you every
thing from how to die to how to get
married, and when the head book
keeper looked it over he found the fol-
lowing:
go to bed. Lie fiat on your back,
with arms at side. Have low pillow,
a rather hard bed, with downy, light
coverings and abundance of fresh air
Relax entire body and make vacuum
of your mind. Do not hold yourself
on the bed, but let the bed hold YOU
Now you are ready to begin. Imi-
tate the painting of a tired dog, but
pant through the nose instead Of
through the mouth. (Now you are
laughing, of course. That's the idea!
This is laugh cure partlyD Pant
away until you are all tired out. You
will then be impelled to take several
long, deep breaths and possibly to
yawn. This is where the deep breath
ing comes in) You will notice this
vigorous painting shakes the entire
trunk, as does laughing. Repeat the
alternate painting and deep breathing
till you fall asleep naturally"
Very interesting" commented the
head bookkeeper; land how did you
come out?"
II came out by staying awake near
ly all night" growled Bings. II did
everything it says, and l even went up
TO the spare room to try it on.
told my wife 1 was going to sleep in
the spare room, but / didn't tell her
that | wa1 going to try the cure. Well.
] got laid tiown-fat, as it says-and
the first thing l tried to do was to
make a vacuum of my mind Ever
try to make a vacuum Of your mind?
Well, it dosn't work. Little things that
hod't WOrriad mo in vnarc copoa IN
and there l lay, fiat, with arms at my
side, on low pillow and all the
rest of it trying to get some sleep.
At that stage l began the painting
painting like dog, according to the
recipe l painted and panted-but it.
didn't make me laugh.
In fact, it got me to thinking what
an all-round darn fool / must look
like lying there with my tongue hang
ing out. But 1 kept it up. Pretty
soon l heard my wife coming upstairs.
For goodness sake, john said
she, what's the matter with your
She owned on the gas"
Nothing said. 'Why?'
You're making the most peculiar
hOiOOo hCdi VI yOu way uOW
Did you have a nightmare?
Ion the contrary said /, Haven't
been asleep
John she said. 4 know there's
something the matter. Hannah heard
you, too. If you're i'll don't try to
conceal it.
Il saw there was no use. o. only
q kink in my side / explained.
should have known better than to say
it. You see my wife thinks I'm a
martyr who suffers in silence.
I hope it isn't your old trouble
sae said, coming to the bed and
prodding me in the groin. Hannah,
go get the hot water bottle
81 expostulated but it didn't 60.
Hannah got the hot water bottle, and,
what is more, my wife placed it right
over the pit of my stomach, and al.
most before l knew it had me swathed
in hot clothes. She has an idea that
warmth will drive away any disease,
and although l protested that there
wasn't anything serious the mat
ter with me she worked over me for
an hour.
1T was then about one o'clock in
the morning. Having finally convinced
her that the slight pain had passed
she left me. OF course there wasn't
any use trying to pant after this
experience, but l lay there and
heard the clock strike two and three
and still no sleep, and l determined
TO give the cure another chance l
started tP pant, but lightly so as not
TO attract attention. Soon l became
interested in it. Once, think, really
did fall asleep, but suddenly / started
up and discovered that / was painting
heartily like a dog that wants a drink
of water.