The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1907-12-06
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"His eyes seemed glued to my every
movement" "Yes? That's sign that
he's stuck on you"
"Are you married" "Yep." Are
you happy?" Didn't / Just tell you /
was marriedT'-Houston Post.
Papa, is frog fish or an animal"
"Yesl Now run out and play and give
me chance to read my paper"
81 was one Of those saved in that
terrible wreck" How did you es-
capeT II changed my mind at the
last minute and took another train"
YES; it was hard luck. He fell in
love with her at first sight, bought
flfty-trip ticket and was refused on his
second visit. it."-Browning's Magazine.
Little Willle-What Is JOY, pa? Pa
joy, my son, Is the peculiar feeling
experienced by the man who counts his
money and finds more than he expect
ed.-Chicago News
Mother-What's the matter, Joseph
Inc? Josephine-Lolo hurt me. Mother
How? Josephine went to hit him
on the head and he lodged me and I
banged my hand against the wall.
"Did you get home before the storm
broke last night?" asked the first club
man. "Of course" replied the other.
1.-The storm never breaks at my house
until 1 get home" e."-Philadelphia Press.
Dicky-Your dad always goes to
sleep in church. Georgey-My dad has
a right to 60 to sleep In church, If he
wants to. He gives more to the preach
er than any other man In the congre-
CATION.
Examiner (to~medical student)-
Now let us take appendicitis. On what
grounds should you decide that an Inn
mediate operation was necessary. Med
ical Student-On the financial condi-
ton Of the patient
Towne-I understood you to call
Mrs. Rownder a widow, but her hus-
band Is living. Browne-Oh, yes; she's
what you might call ''club widow"
she's q woman who has late hus-
band.-Phlladelph Press.
Inquisitive Acqualntance-Have you
ever thought what you would do If
your gas bag should collapse while you
were half a mile or more up in the
air7 Daring Aeronaut-Often, I
should start at once for terra firma by
the shortest possible route.
From the grammatical standpoint"
said the fair maid with the lofty fore
head, (which do you consider correct,
Il had rather 60 home or I would
rather go homer" Neither" prompt
ly responded the young man. "I'd much
rather stay here. re."-Answers.
80 you quit smoking because she
asked you to?" said the youth with the
clamshell cap. "Yes," answered the
lad with the turned up trousers" "And
thenY "Then she went walking with
a man who smoked pipe, because she
said it kept away mosquitoes. Wash
lngtOn SLaF.
A prominent society women told her
butler to tell all visitors that she was
not at home. At night, when enumer-
atlng the persons who had called DUR
ing the day, he mentioned the ladys
sister. when his mistress exclaimed:
"I told you, man, that was always at
home for my sister! You ought to have
shown her in" Next day the lady
went out to make few calls and
during her absence her sister came to
the house. rs your mistress at homer
she asked the butler. "Yes, madam"
was the reply. The lady looked every
where for her sister. She said to the
butler: "My sister must have gone out'
for l cannot find her." "Yes, madam,
she has gone out, but she told me last
night that she was always at home to
you."-Philadelph Record.