New-York tribune., 1907-07-07

Transstyxia July 6-No sooner had the New York
news about the troubles Of that eminent medium
Mrs. Pepper, reached this country than 1 hurried
off 10 interview the prominent citizens concerning
the alleged fondness Of spooks for New York rea4
estate and chocolate drops. The medium had been
charged you VIII recall. with having wheedled an
elderly Spiritualis into transferring some Of his
property TO a couple of fair spooks whose local
agent and representative the medium World
lings. OF whom recently one. having always
supposed that spooks not in a position to
town lots and candy. asked the TO investi-
gate the transaction. much to the grief of Mrs.
Pepper. Thinking that you would like have the
spooks side of the case presented with ell fairness
determined TO find out whether popular opinion
the subject Of ghostly tastes and ambitions IS
altogether fair. Surely, the spooks themselves
should be allowed a hearing on this delicate un-
settled problem
I accordingly looked up Little Bright Eyes in
the telephone directory This lady was. according
70 the newspapers, one of those who wanted 10
the title to a piece of Brooklyn real estate
and not ayerse 70 having candy sent her
through her terrestrial agent, Mrs. Pepper. found
the lady willing to be interviewed and hastened
over TO her apartment, at No. 947s23 Downward
1eSTh street fstreets run in all three directions
here, you knoT)
Yes" said Little Bright Eyes as she showed me
into her reception room herself-that being the
servants day QUIT am picking up Long Island
property. Don't you think it's d good investment?
Look now values have been rising for decade.
Its thing"
But why do you want such worldly thtngs?' I
asked in genuine establishment. You cannot
the land yourself your
An, you are a newcomer among US, ! see" said
Bright Eyes. You still cherish all those old fan
oles which you picked up while on earth. You
mink We have nothing TO do here save sit around
and wonder when the universe will go of bust
ness Well there time, they say when the
poor Inhabitants Of Transstyxia had nothing better
10 do. But, thank goodness! the clairvoyants and
spiE1tualsts have changed all that. Didn't you
know that the Society for Psychical Research had
SIMPLY revoluuonized Spookdom?"
pleaded ignorance. whereupon the lady volun-
teered 70 enlighten me.
good many years ago." she began, accord
Ing % the old Inhabitants, things were awfully
stupid here, because there was no communication
WIN any place. 1t was just like the Wild West
Leiore the railroads were built. Then, too Trans
Htyxia is very unproductiye; nothing grows here
and nature has not blessed the region with
mineral wealth. It once thought that large
deposits Of sulphur might be tound in the lower
U4aEted by crowd of Boston spectators who
went down there 10 find out. There was nothing
20 De found save empty space and incorporeal
aLattnent houses for disembodied apooks
cont know what we should have done If it
neant been for the Society for Psychical Research.
e s .fBafIzaton. believing that trade follows the
nag. invaded these regions with regiment OF
14eoluIns. No resistance being offered by the
4fafsstyXians, the invaders laid down their arms
ana went into the importing business. Their idea
"as 10 build up trade in worldly things Many
corporations earth were so hungry for business
etlat they would have sent their drummers to
pIaces even more inaccessible than Spookdom; go
SoI may Imagine that the importers had their
world
-,o'7 iol can now buy anything you like here, If
you only kncw how to find the right agent Eleven
@N.OA4oDie nrTns have secured mediums this week
aHo seven new candy agencies have opened up
s.Ice last month. The pace setting would
s4HIost make you think OF New York, except that
'"COi poreal spookS cannot get jammed in a bridge
NtusL nor swelter in summer subway. There is
Nloiler advantage here, too, which makes living
more easygong; things worldly being all luxries TO
a.. 0p'ohs' We can buy at our own figures, for there
ls never any fierce competition among US The
.noi'oiihgs who ship goods here though are fool
H-''g wiling TO pay almost any price for letters
:. I'm acquaIntances here. SO all have to do is
- tCih over some bIletdouX remark
Spoul the weather to Mrs. Pepper or Professor
Essiop' or any other reputable importer in order
eet ABOUT anything we like. All stores in
..rass.ykla are strictly one price places you
6uty i asked, tirnidly "I sti do not under
.taho how a spook derive any pleasure from
--iiss OF the flesh feshy Having shuffied off the
,nr.s co''' now can you get any fun out OF
'pf,ng hat or stick OF tafy?"
IAtte Bright Eyes laughed merrly. How stupid
81 the mediums certainly offered substantial in
oeile1Ls 10 us to encourage trade. They dis
t'sfeo d method Of producing Vicarious pleasure;
- manipulating sumlimial brain waves and
euThing on the wireless telepathy current they
,oulo transmit TO any spook who could pay the
t-'"o an the thrills OF pound Of candy, simply
- eatlng the candy themselves while in a tele-
.Hl"ac trance. 1t Is the greatest discovery
.'lhe. think. Why can sit here in NV spiritual
@ aotIn and' merely by engaging q first class medium
s''1Os any matinee performance of my faVorite
S'iIeo'ah' or even n plate OF ice cream. ] can
-t'S~1iaie IN Long Island realty and, as 4
an sDccessful get all the of being ahead in
tIle game; and IL my mediumistic agent sinks a
Sao in swamp on the South Shore I simply
I've We her turn OH the vicarious fun current. and
Know nothing of the pangs of the bad invest
".snt IL In the best thing that was ever"
w oosJss. you have TO pay the medium for all