Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1907-03-08
ANIMATED INTERROGATION POINT

with the rising infection of one VIII,
earnestly desires to acquire import
ant information, what -"
20, don't know" replied hi.
long suffering sire, wearily.
You don't know what, pa?"
>" don't know the answer to the
question you are about to ask"
Why, you don't know what an
going to ask you, pap
No, of course not.
Then if you don t know the ques.
tion, how do you know you don 4
know the answer to it, PAP"
Because l know l don't know!
l don't know why it is that the more
a man gets the more he wants and
the more he wants the less he u.s.
ually gets, nor whether Sammy"
Perkins, of the Tacoma Ledger, is
even remotely related to ELI Perk-
ins," the humorist, nor why so many
men with the big head wear such
small hats, nor whether Carrie Ma
tion still believes Mrs. Alice Long
worth smokes cigarettes, nor why
twOfaced men are so common and
twO-headed girls so scarce, nor why
the average girl is ready to trust her
heart with a young man whom no
self-respecting butcher would trust
with pound of liver, nor why half a
man usually considers himself the
whole thing, not how many is many,
not how few is few; 1 don't know
how l don't know what 1 don't know,
nor the answers to any others of the
multitude of foolish questions that
you are prone to ask if you are not
restrained. So now, my son, if you
do not at once turn off your breath
instead of blowing it out and let me
read in peace off you 60 to bed with
the speed of an arrow, taking your
interrogatory gimlet with you. Un-
derstood?"
Yes, sir. But the question
wanted to ask isn't foolish, pa"
HIM! If it isn't foolish you
may 60 ahead and ask it. But, re-
member, just ONO question, and nU
more"
well, pa, here are two of 'em
that want to ask. One is, which is
the smallest, the man who knows
enough to know that he don't know
much of the man who knows enough
to look as if he knew everything?
The other is, if the end of the world
was to come and the Earth be de-
stroyed while a man was up in
balloon where would he land when he
came down? And, pa, l don't know
which one of 'em to ask"
LUE F. VERNON.
The Greatest Good to the Largest Number.
Andrew Carnegie wishes, so dis
patches tell us, to spend $55, 600, 600
for humanity. Well, if I had $55,-
OOO, 600 to spend, to better the con-
dition of my fellow man, l would try
to reach those most sorely in need of
help. When people are crowded to-
gether in light housekeeping rooms,
wanting the very necessaries of life,
having to work hard every moment
of the time to get bread for their
families and keep a roof over their
heads, they have no time for libraries
and very little for schools.
If had $55, ,0OO, 900 to spend for
the good of humanity, I would build
in every city an apartment house
(why not apartment for the poor,
as well as for the richO with heat,
light and water free, and I would
rent the apartments at merely nomi-
nal rents, which would pay these
expenses. l would have an honest
man as agent, one who sympathized
with the poor, whose duty it should
be to see that only the very poor
rented the rooms.
AS land is too high in large cities
to devote it to a playground, would
have a roof-garden with high rail-
ing, where the children could get the
fresh air without danger of the
crowded streets.
Respectfully submitted to Carne-
gle or any other philanthropic mil
liOnaire. LUE F. VERNON.