davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune., 1907-07-07

of his North American brethren. He rarely
ventures upon the brake beams and knows moth
ing about making his seat thereon pleasant by
the use Of the little square piece of board called
a ticket by hoboes Nor Is he initiated in
the use OF the underswung hammock, nor even in
the delicate art of forcing the doors of freight
cars with flshplate Practically his only resort
in stealing a ride is to the open flatcars. his
choice being those In which he obtain shelter
by crawling under the heavy tarpaulins that
cover the cargo. A case which was brought to
my notice in Buenos Ayres in connection with
this style of travel throws an interesting light
on the character and calibre of the Italo-Ar-
gentine tramp. and may possibly offer an idea
to the constructor Of melOdramas for a new de-
parture in shudder scenes.
Two italian tramps in the province of Cordoba
set upon and robbed third tramp with whom
they CHANGED to fall in, realizing as net result
of their effort grand total of is cents in Ar
gentine currenCy-abOut cents in American
money. Leaving their victim insensible they ran
with their punder to wheat train, temporarily
halted q siding near by, lOosened corner of
the tarpaulin that covered the load on a big
"gondola," and crawled in upon the bags
Before the train started a brakeman dtscOv-
cred the tapping corner Of the tarpaulin and
drawing it faulty into place, made 1t fast again
There scarcely room for the prisoners to
breathe in but unfortunately, nothing to pre-
vent their talking, a result of which they
were soon in violent alteration regarding the
! ownership of the odd five cents of the fifteen
Finally one of them worked his "facon' free from
its sheath. and moment later the other had
also possessed himself OF his weapon Then
battened down almost tightly as though
strapped in straitjackets. and lying fiat on
their backs. they fought for life and the posses
sion of their plunder there in the dark between
the heavy canvas and the wheat bags.
For a few moments the battle ragged without
either combatant being able to do serious dam
age to the other, Then the end came suddenly
when the more resourceful Of the two. cutting an
armhoe in the canvas. dispatched his adversary
with a swinging thrust from above. The victor
in this strange duel was afterward arrested
while squandering his dOuby ill-gotten gains In
fonda in Villa Mercedes. and the facts 1 have
here related came out In confession that was
ultimately forced from him.
HORSES EASILY STOLEN.
But If the "atorante" is not as adept as our
hobo in beating his way trains. he has
New-York tribune., 1907-07-07
ELABORATE INSTANCE OF HUMoR.

A moro elaborate instance OF literary humor Is
the delightful little glimpse that Jesus gives us
OF children at their games in the market place;
I'VE piped unto you and ye did not dance: we
walled and ye did not mourn" Il is the last clause
that causes. or ought to cause q smile, I'VE
walled and ye did not MOURN or, more literally
'did not beat your breasts" Read this seriously
and you have before you an inexplicabIe groun or
people, manlfestly grown up-not children M all
VINO solemnly charge another with lack OF
sympathy. But the scene that Jesus really drew
was what modern child would call playing fl-
neral!'; only in the Palestine of Jesus day tho
customs OF mourning offered a much more fertile
field for the heartless imitation Of children than
Is the case with u.s. Don't you know says one
child TO the other, that unless you beat your
gamer l think this passage alone would assure
us that Jesus not ignorant of the manner in
which humor may be put
The one remaining instance of this literary humor
that shall produce is also illustration of the fact
that the humor In Christs sayings is sometimes so
plain as barely TO need TO be pointed out. In the
parable Of the Excuses l suppose that the plea
offered by the three men for not attending the
great supper 10 Whlch they mad been invited and
especially that of the last one. have often struck
many of us as distinctly funny; they much
Ike the modern attempts 10 get out OF an tncon-
venient engagement: II have bought field and
must needs so and it,; Il have bought five yoke
of oxen and L go to prove them; II have married
a wife and therefore cannot come" All this we
should be sure was humorous II 1t was not in the
Gospel. But IL Is humorous whether In the Gospel
or out of IL. For my part have at least little
doubt that when Jesus first made this graphic
reference TO the much married man some one
among the auditors who known to walk in
matrimonial leading strings was nudsed clapped
the back by his companions.
This Interpretation of the passage by which the
humor is distinctly increased through special
adaptation TO the audience, introduces naturally
seconu group illustrations-the instances OF hu-
ulorous situation arising from Christ's words.
IT. when read the little parallels of the Patched
Earment and the New Wine in Old Wine Skins. we
remember that the persons to whom Jesus spoke.
representatives of the old regime of Journalism.
were in these parallels represented by old clothes
New-York tribune., 1907-07-07
CLEVERNESs OF REPLY.

Another trait OF Jesus that would lend Itself 10
tho expression OF humor IS sort OF cleverness IL
I may use tho word without offence. mean a
quickness and aptness in conversation; for in
stance. in reply to entangling questions An ex-
ample OF this IS found IN His instant use OF the
image and superscrpuon a penny, when asked
about the lawfulness OF giving tribute. And some-
thing Of the same sort. though in Il more artificial
form appears IN the apt quotations from Scripture
used both as question and answer In that little
allegory known commonly the Temptation in
the wilderness, IN which the speeches put into
the mouth OF Satan significant for our pur-
pose as those spoken by the Master. since we must
suppose that TO Jesus tho whole passage owes its
Coming now to a direct examination OF the pas
sages upon which must mainly depend the success
or failure OF tho attempt TO show that hunOr IS a
real element in ChrlstS sayings Wo should observe
that the humor may appear in two different forms
on the hand II may bo literary in character
dependent the contrast OF ideas put forth by
speaker, His manner OF describing persons
events. on the other hand II may be humor of
situation, depending upon q relation between the
words spoken and thnt which is going at the
time Of their utterance. especially in the minds
tho listeners.
OF the literary humor the clearest examples in
Christ's words appear perhaps in the form OF
aSgeration, The parable OF the Mote and the Beam
irast is so great-Rn inhntesimal speCk in the one
eye. and log OF wood I'm the other-that II could
hardly have been spoken for the first time without
raising laugh. II Il spoken with any vgor
at all: and indeed to-day, If you take pains
TO think what the parable says, you cannot help
illustration IS found in the picture OF Pharsees
"stralning out gnat and swallowing a camel
New-York tribune., 1907-07-07
peooF OF woMAN's IMPROVEMENT.

-rb. manager of a Turkish bath was discussing the
rosrvsllous improvement in the physique OF woman
"a striking proof of this Improvement" no saia
80 .o. .bo, women now take Turkish baths
,r,,, "a man In the past they didn't take them
heeomsa they couldn't They couldn't stand them
49, ,Tyenty years ago tainted almost IN
..utaS1v On the Turkish baths hot room Health
nioneers among used TO come to us frequently
tTranainR In the hot they would perceive that
49, ia not enough stamina for this bath
sT7ut now among thousands OF women batheFs
-. ona sver faints"-Los Angeles Times
New-York tribune., 1907-07-07
a LITTLE DEVIATION.

We thanked the major domo and went up
10 the house for luncheon, and 1t was almost
Immediately after our departure that Spanish
tramp who had been lounging in the straw
forward with the assertion that tha
major domo novice at "facon"
practice. and that he would show a
few things that were really worth seeing. He
would begin, he said where the other had left
Off with the paper trick, and lead up from that.
What his other feats never transpired, for
about five minutes later the men came up to the
house bringing of the thrashing hands-a
young German sailor who had deserted from his
ship at Bahia Blanca TO work in the harvest
felds-with his hand dangling from his wrist
by a tendon and few shreds Of skin. The
"atorantes' variation had been OF most I'm
fortunate character. We managed to stop the
bleeding and get the sufferer off on the two-day
trip 10 Buenos Ayres, where l subsequently
learned that he lost nearly the nearly whole of
his arm from blood poisoning
The "atorante" could learn great deal re-
garding the comforts of railway travel from one
New-York tribune., 1907-07-07
EXPENSIVE ANGORAS.

-yh.n English capitalists were trying to establish
Angora goat raising in South Africa they paid as
,,cr as SO 500 apiece goats. induce the Turk
,s owners OF hocks to risk the severe penalties
OF the sultans forbddns the expectation Of An
roras-Pittsburg Dispatch
New-York tribune., 1907-07-07
European advertisements.
GOING ABROAD 1?

New Workers when reaching their
starting point in Europe for a tour
through the Continent, and after deciding
on their excursion plan, if they will send
their itinerary with dates of arrival at GER
tain points to the London office of
THE TRIBUNE, Danes Inn House, 265
Strand, the same will be forwarded with
out expense to the main office of THE
TRIBUNE in New York, and there
placed on file for the convenience of their
friends.
New-York tribune., 1907-07-07
HUGE FISH.

As everybody knows. the mahseer Barbus tori anords
the highest sport Indian anglers for which reason IL
has been mseadingly called the Indian salmon
though Il has relation the king Of fishes IN
the last edition Of Encyclopedia Britannica IN thu
article India" spoken Of as being sixty pounds
in weight. and afording hours play One ot
nearly weisht-to be exact II scaled los
pounds-has just been mounted by Rowland Ward. OF
Ptccadly. for Murray Ainse. who landed II from ths
Hutty River North COorg IN September last ons
may believe after exciting struggle The meas
urements this barbel-ke hsh quite In keeping
with the extraordinary weight and the particulars havs
been duly The length 66 inches,
grth 81 inches mouth tacrossl Ss nches and tAl
10 inches.-lOndon Globe
New-York tribune., 1907-07-07
? AItNIFU "a t4tV N4N EIN4' 7
$50 borne by the letters:

Totals SbSO % S-odo
1t is perhaps. not without interest TO add that
tNenty-six of the fty-six sigrs were professional
men, twenty-five being attorneys. three physicians
and one a clergyman. OF the others. ten were
merchants three farmers. (3enJamin
Franklin, of course) a printer. and sixteen
may best be described retired of fortune.
Nineteen OF them graduates of colleges in this
country-eight from Harvard, four from Yale. three
from Princeton and two each from the University
OF Pennsylvania and from William and Mary
Harpers Weekly
New-York tribune., 1907-07-07
Bully good ashore the fare is
Round the mort OF Bueuos Ayres

This still holds true. and bully good indeed
for the hungry tramp is the fare all through
the Argentine Republic. Beef and mutton and
wheat and corn worth less on the pampas
than in any other place in the world. and Won
derfuly free hearted and handed are the people
Whereabouts IN the matter Of making life easy
for the trarnps who chance that way.
New-York tribune., 1907-07-07
HORSES EASILY STOLEN.

But If the "atorante" is not adept our
hobo in beating his way trains. he has
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1907-11-15
svssrlrvre FOR TIN FOIL.
Aluminium Paper Made In Germany 10
Useful for Protecting Food.

OoeTuI Tor protecting Fooo.
Aluminium paper is now manufac-
tured in Germany and recommended
~ substitute for tin foil. According
to consular report 1t IL not the SO
called leaf aluminium, and 10 said to
possess very favorable qualities for
preserving articles Of food. for whick
II IL used as covering. Chemical
analysis has proved that aluminium
paper contains but few foreign sub
stances; occasionally it may contain
up to 2 per cent Of iron, but never any
arsenic or other poisonous metals.
Hence It appears that the powdered
aluminium used for the manufacture
Of aluminium paper is relatively pure.
The paper used is sort OF artificial
parchment, obtained through the &C.
ton OF sulphuric acid upon ordinary
paper. The sheets are spread out and
covered upon one side with q thin
coating OF solution OF resin In alco
hol or ether. Evaporation is precipi-
lated through current OF air and the
paper is then warmed until the resin
has again become soft. Then pow
dered aluminium is sprinkled upon 1t
and the paper subjected to strong
pressure TO fasten the powder thereon.
The metallic covering so obtained 10
neither affected by the air nor by fat
ty substances. Aluminium paper is
much cheaper than tin foil and will,
so II is thought in Germany, become .
strong competitor thereof.
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1907-11-15
A Secret Wort, Learning.

You poor man" said Mr.. Henpeck.
Who was for the FIRST time seeing the
inside OF lunatic asylum, how long
have you been here? Can you remem.
ber!"
"oh, yes; very we'll" replied the pa.
tent; seven years. You see. they let
me do pretty near A. please because
I'm harmless"
Are you married."
Sure. have 4 wife who used to
throw things at me every time l came
In the house"
How sad! Do you know how she
manages to live!"
She's getting along all right. Her
brother. who is a rich bachelor. is
takin' care Of her. He never would
give mp . cent. though. ~ long a.
was able to work. confound him"
And what do you do here!"
"Sit around mostly. smokin' and
waitin' for the next meal time"
Say" said the visitor. speaking
softly. and drawing little nearer to
the patient. "just between ourselves,
how did you get then to send you
Aerer-Chicago Record-Herald.
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1907-11-15
A Disguised Hint.

The crowd surrounding the balky
animal opens somewhat when the man
who looks as though be knew horse
nesh asks what is the matter.
This mare Of mine has baked"
explains the owner OF the rig. Il
can't get her to go In any direction
Have you tried to back herr" asks
the stranger.
why. l never thought Of that" an
svers the driver. getting down and
taking = plug Of tobacco from his
pocket He holds II to the animals
Bose and At oree II starts down the
road.
With the selfpossession which
marks the man Of perfect polse. the
horsey man turns and goes away smil
ing as though In pity Of the Ignorance
Of the others.
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1907-11-15
UMBRELLA THlEF's NEW f.cK.
Changing Handles 10 the Latest Pro
fessionai Wrinkle.

1eebionSi Wrtnkle.
About the slickest umbrella litter
In town dropped. in yesterday" re-
marked the head barber In one OF the
uptown hotels.
"You don't say" replied the man In
the chair. How did ne operate."
"oh, he was a changer"
"Ah. see. He brought in an old
umbrella and walked out with a new
one
"oh. TO; that's an old. clumsy game
that was worked twenty years ago.
This chap was up 10 the times and
cribbed the rain shields by deity
changing handles. He carried full
stock OF handles and when he sighted
a hne silk umbrella with gold or
silver handle he slipped II on and
screwed on something entirely differ
ent. Then he dropped the original
handle in his pocket and leisurely
awaited his opportunity to slip out
without attracting attention.
AS everybody Identifies their um.
brella by the handle, this litter can
walk right past you with your own
umbrella and you never notice IL oh,
the world is moving. and even ~
umbrella thief keeps up with the times
these days"
And the head barber changed the
subject 10 hair tonics.-New York
Globe
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1907-11-15
yeMsharp Corner.

With An extraordinary outlay ol
about $3.50 in gold coin. Dell Scully
cornered the jewsharp market here,
buying the last 500 Of those instru
ments known to be In existence.
These he distributed broadcast among
the youngsters Of the town and among
the relic hunters Of maturer age, ami
the festive twang Of the hideous
things was heard on all corners last
night, TO the discontinue Of all the
cats and dogs b Astoria Chrtstendom.
The Astorian.
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1907-11-15
c pposes Church Inventory.

Cardinal Richard. archbishop q
Paris. has addressed q circular letter
to the priests OF his diocese in which
he declares that he will never permit
the ,abernacles to be opened for the
agents charged with making inven.
tories of church goods and instructs
hem to declare on their words Of
honor as priests the number and the
value Of sacred vessels, but on NO
account to open the tabaru1cieA
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1907-11-15
Not fer Her.

An English vegetarian PROPOSED TO
woman. whereupon she delivered her.
self OF the following scathing words.
Go along with you, What BE flesh
OF your flesh. and you a.liyinr on cab
bage! Go and marry n grass widow"
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1907-11-15
8ultlna the Action.

How many new ideas one car pick
up In the course OF ones trasels,"
soliloquized the shoplifter. deftly con
cealing a picture hat of the lltcs; pat
tern under her long cloak as she
passed the millinery counte'.
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1907-11-15
Human Responsibility.

No human being can come into this
world without increasing CT diminish
Ing the sum total Of human happiness
not only OF the present, but Of over,
subsequent age OF humanity. -Ellhu
Burritt.
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1907-11-15
Aias Il. COWDIH.
Hair Dressing
PARLORS,

Shampooing. cutting and curling.
All hair work made to order. Hair
tonics, scalp treatments, manicuring;
stage wigs for rent for theatrical use
or mask balls Cheapest switches, so
cents. Goods delivered out OF the city.
1919 2lst street Denver. Colo.
Phone A197 Olive.
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1907-11-15
WESTERN UNIVERSITY.
The great Educational Institution for Kansas and the Wes

DEPARTMENTS: Theological College Academic Normal SubNorus
and State Industrial
COURSES: Classical College preparatory Academic Normal Sub.
Normal MUSICAL Instrumental and vocal including
piano, organ and harmony Drawing Zine AT and Ne
chanical Carpentry, Printing and Book binding. Bud.
Course Ssenoeaphy and TypewritDg, Tsilorns
Dressmaking and Plain Sewing, Cooking, Laundering
Farming and Gardening,
ADVANTAGES Splendid Location Heathu Climate Coed nauness
and Thorough Teachers from the leading schools ei
America including Lincoln, Universty Of Kausas VII.
berorce, Tuskegee and Hampton.
NFORMATION For prices all Inducements offered
WILLIAM T. VERNON. AM, DID,. Pres.
Quindaro. Kansas.
Ben Phones Office White 1902 Rss Wsu IS
The Washburn leader., 1907-11-29
Burbank. Opportunity.

Luther Burbank's early life in Cali
tornia was attended by many hard ex-
periences. He was very poor and was
obliged to take any work that came to
hand. He cleaned out chicken coops,
helped in market gardens, got an odd
job here and another there. passed
through very severe illness, went ION
the tramp for work until finally he
was able to start little nursery on
his own account. Then he was on his
own ground with fair start. 10 out
siders he seemed an honest, hard
working young fellow who might
make his living. but not much more.
Then all at once he did something
that made those who knew about it
look at him. An order came for 10000
young prune trees. Could he fill it in
nine months? He hadn't prune tree
on his place. and how was he going
to supply 10000 in nine months: He
got together all the men and boys he
could find to plant almonds for him.
They grew rapidly. When they were
ready he had 10000 prune buds ready
for them. and in short time the
prunes were budded into the growing
almonds. and before the time was up
The trees were delivered to the delight
ed ranchman.-Circle Magazine.
The Washburn leader., 1907-11-29
The Lion In Africa.

OF the way lion roars Agnes Her.
bert, in 1.-TWO Dianas In Somaliland.'
says: 1.-The dawn is the time when
lions roar most They occasionally
give tongue when actually hunting. Of
ten after feeding The sound varies
with the age and lung power Of the
animal and has many gradations. some
times sounding as though the pain Of
doing it at all hurt the throat Some.
times the sound comes in great abrupt
coughs, and again one hears even tri-
umphant roars."
On his native heath the lion is not
easy to recognize. "One Of the most ex-
traordinary features about lions to me
is the way animals so large can oblit-
crate themselves. They simply blend
into the landscape. Their brownish
yellow skins, so similar in color to the
6urned grass. and their agile bodies.
which can crouch and wriggle like
any lizard. play parts in the scheme
for invisibility."
The Washburn leader., 1907-11-29

- p ALL nA04AS 1AAA4 o11C SAAAGzOs
gnarled hand for the train messages
Redway had brought.
Nothing much" said Redway indo-
lently. II s'pose you heard that there
was big strike out west?"
II was informed of that fact" said
Fallon, with dignity. There will be
no trouble this side of Chicago"
Il was calculating to get out that
way this fall" said Redway, with an
assumption of carelessness that his
twitching lips belied. Sadie and
was talking it over. She wants to see
the Yellowstone park ON her wedding
trip"
Sadie and you?" retorted Fallon.
"And since when have you and Sadie
had it all fixed to get married? Pears
to me that her pa ought to have some
thing to say about it."
This is where you say" explained
Redway. I'VE fixed it up last night.
but didn't have time to talk to you
this morning. The engine needed some
f1xin' up.'
well. I say Nor" was the decided
response. II guess Sadie can do bet
ter than an engineer when she wants
to get married"
'I'm master mechanic, too" reminded
Redway hopefully.
Sadie can do BETTER" repeated Fal-
Ion as he rose to put some papers In
the safe. "Don't let me hear any more
Of this"
Redway sat in silence until the safe
was locked and the lights put out; then
he followed Fallon out on the platform.
"Better think 1t over" he advised.
"I'll ask you again in the morning"
Redway turned away down one Of
the almost deserted streets, and Fallon
stamped angrily in the opposite direc-
tion.
Not even Sadie realized how proud her
father was of his position as superin-
tendent even of such an unimportant
road as the G. and B. S. That the
daughter Of the superintendent should
be asked to wed 9 common engineer
was thing not to be heard Of. He
had no talk with Sadie on the matter,
but as he lay in bed thinking it over
his anger grew, and he became more
firm in his determination not to give
his consent.
He was at the station early in the
| morning, affecting not to notice how
red Sadie's eyes were from weeping.
AZ soon as Redway stuck his head
into the general Office Fallon began:
'sYou needn't come in" he rasped