davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25
Absentmindod Prize.

'l've met the most absentmlnded
man Mt last" said the man who Il al
ways looking for freaks. IL thought
I'd found him In the college professor
who when he went upstairs to dress
for dinner would absentmindedly 60 To
bed instead. But that fellow was dis
placed 10y n young writer who would
put his foot up in chair to tie his
shoe and then, forgetting what he lid
It for, would put the other foot up In
the chair and stand up In II. Then
met II woman who confessed TO look
ing absentmindedly In the back of her
hairbrush instead Of her hand mirror
when she wanted to see the back Of
her head. and thought she had gone
the writer one better. But I've met
the king OF the abscntmindcd world
now. lie IL n young minister. and ev-
cry once In awhile he waits patiently
half an hour for II car IN street on
which no cars run. He has confessed
II, but every once In so often he does
the trick right over again"
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25
voltalre In the pastilIe.

The scvcrcst wit Of his time. Vol
talrc, was more than once Imprisoned
in the Bastlllc for having directed his
satire against the powers that were.
His first incarceration for such mn Of
fensc was In l7i7. when he levelcd II
biting set OF verses and later n sa-
tirical composition In Latin against the
regent, the Duke Of orleans. The In
censed regent ordered Noltairc to the
Bastllle: but, forgetting about him. left
the writer in prison for eleven months.
When at last the poet was remembered
and released, the regent. man OF
some generosity, unmindful Of any.
thing save the tedious Imprisonment
his lampooncr had suffered. sent for
him and granted him pension of 1000
francs n year TO soothc his wounded
feelings, II is related that Noltalrc ac-
ccptcd the gift with as much witty
grace as gratitude. "Monscigneur,"
said he, Il most humbly thank your
royal hlghncss for continuing to charge
yourself with the expense Of my board,
but | beg you never again 10 trouble
yourself about my lodging"
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25
TO FORBID NEGRO SERVANTS,
Black Perters Put Their Arms Around
Women, SAYS leqisltor.

Little Rock, March Ex-senator Nc
Knight introduced a bill in the senate
today making It unlawful for negroes
to wait upon or serve whi;e persons
as porters on trains, as BARRIERS, OF
as walters in restaurants or hotels,
and equally unlawful for white SER
wants TO wait upon negroes.
Senator Amis. in opposition, said the
bill was to prevent negroes from wait
ing ON whites and moved that 1t be
rejected. Senator Mcknight made a
strong plea for the measure, denying
that the prime object was to prevent
negroes from serving white people.
1T is to prevent negroes from TAX
ing white women about the waist and
helping them off the trains he said
why, my wife is afraid to some to
town alone because she is waited on
by these blacks"
Senator Amis withdrew his motion
to reject the bill and 1t was reau a
second time and referred to the com
mittee On agriculture.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25

Pat O'IIoolignn gave dinner 10
some Of his friends. His wife had pre-
pared one chicken. which Pat proceed
ed TO carve TO serve his guests. Turn
Ing To the lady seated nearest him, he
asked very politely:
what part viii yez hey, Mlssis Muir
phyT"
"Ol'll take the leg. II yez Place. soir,"
she said.
Pat next turned TO little Murphy.
"And what part iv the bird viii yez
hey, young manY
"Oill take a leg, If 1t PLACE ye. soir."
replied the little Murphy.
Then Pat addressed Mr.. Murphy
whats yer choice lv the blrdi VIII
ye hev the white meatr'
"Orll take another leg, solr, an much
obliged fer the question" said Mr..
Murphy, who always followed his
wife's example.
"Begorra," exclaimed Pat, ''phwat do
yez think I'm carvin'-a spiderf"-
Washington Post
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25

Mary birds in their nesting habits
have accommodated themselves 10 the
advance of civilization. Thus the barn
and cliff swallows, which once built
under ovcrhanglng cliffs and In caves.
now place their nests on the rnfters
and beneath the caves Of our barns.
The chimney swift. which originally
placed its nest on the inside Of hollow
trees, now uses our chimneys for that
purpose. The purple martin. once nest
ing exclusively In holes in trees, will
now In many sections Of the country
use nothing but the bird boxes which
kind hearted men have erected.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25
When the Chief Played rhe Races.

Chief of Police Collins is not a
gambling man. but he admits having
once played the ponies. II was years
ago, when he was lieutenant at Har-
rison street that he tempted the God.
dess OF Fortune. This is the way he
tells the story:
II didn't know one horse from an
other. but | heard the men in the de.
partment telling about the money
they had won. II they lost bet they
never mentioned It, One day during
a meeting at the Robey track cop.
per- at Harrison street told me he
was going to put s. on a good thing.
as he called 1t. ! said to him In a
joke. why don't you play Stayaway?
That's the best horse out there to.
day
THE meaning | wished to convey
was that If he stayed away from the
track he would be winner lie was a
dense sort OF fellow and didn't catch
the quiet sarcasm of my intended
joke. So out he goes to Robey. and
remembering my tip to play 'Staya
way he looks at the card and sees
a horse named Getaway in the thlrd
race. He was to for first place
The copper thinking he had got the
names mixed, aid his s. on Getaway
who came under the wire about q
block ahead of the Others in the
race.
when he returned 10 the station
he handed me 500 bill with the re
mark: I played that horse you CAV,
me, lieutenant, and won $40. This Il
your half Of it"
And Collins took it, Chicago Fec
ord Herald.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25
HEALDTON.
Special Correspondence.

Special Correspondence.
Healdton, |. r., March ga hot
week with the thermometer going
from 90 to 81 made many comments
on the weather for. March
Dr. Davis of Sneed was on our
streets this week.
Grove Chase and II. NJ. Rodgers OF
Chagrls are on our streets.
II. II. Whaley and family OF Hewitt
were visitors at Mrs. Ingram's Sun
day. last.
]. d. Ingram has left for Mexico
Lum Barringer is here looking aft
er his cattle interests.
Candidates are in abundance here
this week, and still they come.
Mrs Tom Kimbrele of Hewitt Is Wis
iting relatives here.
Tom Rexroat was shaking hands
with friends here yesterday.
]. w. orme and wife are In Ard
more today
Farmers are all busy and a good
deal Of corn is being planted.
Should the warm weather still con
tlnue cotton planting will soon begin
Gardens and fruit prospects are
fine, grass is coming fast.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25
THE swift sPECIF1C CO.. ATlANTA. CA
"lcaves."

To him who Is penetrated by true
principles oven the brirfcst precept IL
sufficient. AMI common preccpt 10 re
mind him that he should be free from
grief and fear. For example. says
Homer:
Leaycs-some the wind scattcrs on the
ground
SO is the race OF men.
Leaves also n-c thy children. and
leaves. too. are they who cry ont rs II
they were worthy OF credit and bcstow
their praise or, on the cOatrury. curse
or secretly blame and sn'cr and leaves
In like manner are those who shall re-
cclvc and transmit mans fame to
nftortlmcs. for all such things ns these
are produced In the season OF spring.
MS the poet says. Then the wind casts
them down. Then the forest produces
other leaves In their places. But n
brief existence IL common 10 all things.
and yet thou avoldest and pursucst all
things ms If they would hc eternal \
little time. and thou shult close thy
eyes, ana him who has Intended thee
TO thy grave another soon will lament.
Marcus Aurcllus.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25
THE PRETTY GYMNAsTs.

oh. the belle of the future will han
die
The dumb bell with infinite ease;
And there never need be any scan
dal,
II she hangs from the bar by her
knees.
No longer will dress hamper
Her yracegul-rounded limbs,
No longer will corset cramp her,
As over the bar she skins;
The air she will ever be saving,
And she'll handle the rowing
weights some
Gibson will be beaten at drawing,
by the feminine gymnast to come
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25
BEHIND THE SCENES.
A Humorous Lecturers Views About
the STAGE Nands.

wonder why II is that one feels It
is such Il feather IN his cap II he can
make n stage hand laugh. remember
that one evening there was an uuusu-
ally intelligent audience. made up OF
college professors and collcglans. and
they laughed readily and often at Je-
romcs sallics
just OF scene sat a stolid aud stupid
stage hand and he ynwncd ut least
four times while the reading was go
ing ON. knew perfectly well that II
Jerome were to leap to his hands and
walk around the stage with his feet In
the air. singing God Save the King"
meantime, the stage hand would laugh.
but | knew that Jerome never did that
particular trick. And the stage hand
sat there stolld.
"Wlll he like my work p asked my.
self, and | realized that would value
his verdict above a whole thcnter full
Of others. although they were alert
mcntnlltics.
went on. The professors and col
legians prospercd my Jcsts. for which
was grateful, but heard noise Mt
the wings that made me do my level
best. The stage hand was laughing out
loud
Later heard what was he said
when he laughed
"Gcc. ! have 10 laugh 10 see such n
solemn loolin' cuss before the foot.
lights | bpt hos lpst his way"
But Mt the time thought had
made hit with him. and was happy.
| always preferred churches TO thea
tcrs. because there were no stage
hands. ] don't know how a stage hand
nets toward mn actor. but | always felt
that they merely tolerated us, because
we never used slnpstlcks nor yet made
up. know they made me feel un-
comfortable. but once half dozen OF
them laughed at me. and didn't half
try TO make them do IT, The first thing
lecturer does after accustomlng him
self TO the darkness OF "bchnd the
scenes" IL to find peep hole and
"count the house" one night | tried
several, but they were all too small.
Just nt "tlptoes" was II big one, ana |
made for that and. raising myself on
my tOotsics until rcscmblcd n ballet
dancer. ! applied my eye Then II was
that they laughed. for | was looking
into n little trick mirror that reflected
my eye, but gave me no glimpse Of the
housc.-Chnrlcs Battcll Loomls In Sue.
cess Magazine
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25
WARNING ORDER.

In the United States Court in the
Indian Territory, Southern District
Malisa Curry plaintiff, VS., Charles
Curry. defendant. No. 6967.
The defendant. Charles Curry, is
warned to appear in this court In
thirty days and answer the complaint
OF the plaintiff. Malisa Curry.
Witness the Honorable Hosea
Townsend, Judge Of said court and
the seal thereof, this 2lst day OF
February, 1907.
(SeaD c. NJ. CAMPBELL, Clerk.
BY w s. Crockett, Deputy.
J. r. Wheeler. Attorney.
Attorney for nonresident Geo. /
Jordan.
First published March G. 1907.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25

Jesse Lewisohn. who Is to marry
Edna May, the actress Is travelling
In California for his health. Blythe
way, Lewlsohn became famous by pre-.
senting Lillian Russell a jeweled dog.
collar that cost $4,000. The fair Lii.
liam did not wear 1t during her Dallas
engagement. Eight or ten years ago
he made the doz-collar present and
New York scribblers wrote him into
prominence. He is a multimillionaire
and insists that Edna May shall leave
the stage when she becomes Mrs. Jes.
Sc Lewisohn.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25
GET HAPPY.

There's a murmur in the south wind,
Like a bees soft, lulling hum;
And the buds are on the fruit trees,
Signs Spring has surely come.
And feel 1t In my makeup.
Where dormant 1t has lain.
The Winter is a dead one,
And the show bees in my brain.
"Ah, get the junk and frame up,
The statute" and the swing
The pictures" and plantation
And a circus with one ring"
The "mlt.joints' and the ice cones,
A "dodger" and the canes;
Get happy and get busy,
Before the feeling wanes."
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25
Two In One Winter.

C. T.. Emerson OF Fitzwilliam, n
H., had two attacks of pneumonia In
one winter. He writes that two phy'
slcians said he could not recover
from the last attack. After they had
given up hope he began taking 70
eys Honey and Tar, which brought
him out all right. He writes that he
urely thinks Foley's Honey and Tar
s the grandest remedy for throat
nd lung troubles. Hoffman Drug Co
,ity Drug Store.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25
handicapped.

TOO bad about Keene. There's n
fund OF good humorous stuff In the
antics Of the would be society people
In his new ncighhorhood."
"Wcll, he's just the fellow 10 take
advantage of that for his funny
sketches"
"Ycs, but his wife Is trying TO get
nto society there Catholic Standard
and Times.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25

Coughs and colds contracted at
his season of the year should have
immediate attention. Bees Laxative
Cough Syrup contains Honey and
Tar and is unequalled for hoarseness
Group and coughs. Pleasant to take /;
mothers endorse IL; children like IL.
Contains no opiates. Moves the
bowels. Sold by City Drug Store.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25

In the treatment of piles It be.
put up in such a form that 1t can be
applied to the parts affected. Man
Zan Pile remedy is encased in col.
lapsible tube with nozzle attached
II cannot help but reach the spot.
Relieves blind. bleeding, itching and
protruding piles. so cents with noz
zle guaranteed. Try it. Sold by City
Drug Store.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25

Jangs-Yes, sir, have had some
strange experiences and witnessed
some moving scenes-yery moving, In
deed. smith-Oh, are you a detectlvef
Jangs-No; I'm u scene shifter 1t the
theater.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25
He Couldn't Object.

Clerk-Nou can't get n room here for
that man. He's drunk. Man Support.
ing weary friendD-That's all right.
What Of that? Clcrk-This Is tenn
pernncc hotel. MAXWELL, he's toe
drunk to know tho dlifcrence.-Army
and Navy Life.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25
JAMES p. McRAE, M. D.

Special branches: Diseases OF Won
en-; Kidney, Blood. Skin and Chronl
Diseases.
Office upstairs, Randol Bldg.
Office Phone 555.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25

Rev. u. c. Horton. Sulphur Springs,
Tex. writes July I9t-. 1902: Il have
used In my family Ballard Snow Lin.
ment anl Horehound Syrup, and
they have proved certainly satisfac'
tory. The linlment is the best we
have ever used for headache and
pains. The cough syrup has been
our doctor for the last eight years.
Sold by +. ]. Ramsey.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25

"Is your husband up yeti" asked the
early caller Of the sour faced woman
nj the door. Il expect he Is" was the
reply. I'D like To see him for a few
minutes" $50 would ]. lie hasn't
come home Milwaukee Sentinel.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25

Nine. Sarah Bernhardt will play the
part Of a hunchback jester in a new
play which she is now rehearsing.
Tho piece. which is called LES Rouf-
fons," deals with the period of Henry
II. Its author is NJ. zamacis. the Gel.
ebrated journalist. Even at GO there
is only one Bernhard. only one reign.
ing actress OF the Partisan stage.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25

We carry a particularly fine stocK
OF bath requisites. When you are in
need Of such goods 1t will be to your
interest TO come to us for them.
"a F. J. RAMSEY, Druggist.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25

The truth of II Il those who best de-
serve praise have generally the mos:
exquisite relish of 1t Steele.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25

Inc man who Is willing TO do any.
thing Is seldom without anything to
do.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25

Few of the golden opportunities OF
fered us will stand the acid test.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25
News of the Stage

bles Perhaps they are kept busy in
pouring oil in st. John Jr's. lamp
Miss Edna Irvine. who recently
made such an impression in the
Square deal has been engaged in the
support Of Thomas Ross in The other
Girl. 1t is often thought that person.
allty is great factor In the success
Of an actress. If this is true, Miss lr.
vines name will soon be well to the
front. for besides a natural histrion.
ic gift. augmented by thorough stage
training and a rarely beautiful face
OF the Maude Fealy type, Miss Ir-
vine Is richly endowed with that rare,
indefinable charm known as person.
ality.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25

Lillian Nordica, grand opera sing
or. and 10000 other persons. gather
ed Sunday at the Jaurez Mexico, pla-
"a. Plaza del Toros, to see a bull fight
in which professional female Span
ish matadors and banderillos killed
three out of four bulls. The skill re-
quireI to slay two of the bulls kill
ed would have done credit to any
male matador who ever appeared In
the Juarez Plaza, It is said. Nine Nor
dca, in whose behalf one of the bulls
was killed, rewarded the successful
matador with a roll OF bills. II has
been said that prima donnos are tim
orous or timid persons, but Nordica
appears to be an exception. If there is
anything more disgusting that a bull
fight globe-trotters have missed 1t.
Nordica is a fair, fat and fifty dau
ghter OF Maine She must have bro
en- away from early environments and
teachings.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25

4 bit of practic nth hand Is worth
two theories in the bush.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25

John D. Rockegeller, jr., has CIV
en Americans a stinging rebuke Tor
not devotlng more time to their BIZ
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25

This is the Lenten season, but the
devil appears to be busy Just the
same. Perhaps he declines to take
vacation while the lawmakers of
forty-five states are in session. The
devil is said to be a wise old rascal,
and he knows the ways OF men here
and in the hereafter.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25
Yale Dramatic Assoc alton.

One OF the most important events
in the eight years life of the Yale
University Dramatic Association.
will take place at Hartford on Mon
day, April /, when its undergradu-
ate members will appear in Henrik
Isben's drama, The Pretenders,
their annual theatrical production. 1t
will be the beginning of a busy week
with the college actors, for, on the
following Tuesday and Wednesday ev-
enings, they will present the play in
this city at the Waldorf-Astoria, af-
ter which they will return to New
Haven to appear in the Hyperion the
atre on Friday and Saturday nights.
New York World.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25

Many a promising young man has
found himself posing as the defendant
| ma breach of promise suit.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25

1t isn't always safe to Judge mans
wisdom by the Stiffness Of his love
letters.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25

Arthur Brisbane has purchased the
deserted village of Allaire, New Jcr-
sey, and will turn 1t into a model
farm 1t consists OF 5000 acres, and
" cost Mr.. brisbane s125,00O. he
is the highest priced editor in the
world. as Mr.. William Randolph
Hearst pays him $4,000 a year. He
earns II, too. There Is always plenty
of room at the top, even II it is
crowded at the foot of the ladder
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-03-25

Fashionable London women have re-
vived the use of the nightcap. 1t was
discarded at least half century ago,
except by grandmothers and elderly
spinsters, but now, according to the
Drapers' Record, It has again become
an indispensable part of woman's
outfit and is included in all trous-
seaus. Fashionable London men take
nightcaps. They do not wear them.
4 nightcap on the head is easier to
wear than a nightcap in the head.
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1907-10-25
MENTAL TREATMENT.
Doctors Say Object Is TO Get
Mind Of OF Disease.

A somewhat eccentric ply
sician who recently died in New
York under patients to take
walks, say, daily on the left side
OF the street. returning by the
other side; another he would or
der to arise each morning t a
certain hour and eat cheese with
ginger beer: another tic take sup
per precisely at midnight and eat
only apples; or he would in
struct the patient to put Just so
many grains OF salt or the egg
he was to cal and part his hair
in a different way each day.
His object was to get the mind
OF the patiert ON something else
than symptoms. and this scheme
worked well in many cases, es-
pcciallv when the patient waj
suffering from mclancholla.
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1907-10-25
HORSES, TOO. LIKE ICE.
But, This Man T MS, Most Any
Animal Won in This Wcather

But, This Man T MS, Most Any
Animal Won in This Weather
II knew taat dogs liz ice
said the man with Il ian, ID cause
I'D seen dogs lie. ing cakes OF ice
left ON the sidewalk, or munching
little chunks OF ice that tn Y had
picked up around; but ! didn't
know until to-day tlat horses like
ice in the same way. This morn
ING saw an ice wagon halted
by the sidewalk in my street, and
back OF that a groccrs wagon ;
and, while the iccrnan and the
groccrs boy were i'm Tho house.
the grocery horse bad inchcd un
and was very comfortable licking
one OF the big cakes OF ice in
the tail end of the ice wagon.
But | guess now thnt maybe
most any kind Of an animal
would like ice in this w ather."
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1907-10-25
FOR A KA-SAS THIRST.
Solace at tie Drug Stores Which
Order l-eer by the Carload.

One OF the best nerve sti1nu-
]ants the liquor trade has had,
says Ioonfort's Wine and Spirit
Circular, is the continued stream
of orders coming in from Kansas
points by mail. The travelling
men have generally taken off the
state, owing to the fact that none
OF them wishes to be caught sell
ing liquor 50 a test case can be
made ON him. They are all will
ing to have the test case made,
but prefer to have the other icl-
low play MARTYR.
This has not prevented all OF
the hustlinq ior Kansas busin $
Y mail. they have taken up the
matter with their DID customers
and r getting good bisin IS, cs-
pcciallv from th druggists.
1t is apparent that for a con
sidcrabl tim tn WHISKY bust
ness in Kansas will be carried ON
bv tie dtue stores. In some OF
~ ,are + eli; oi'hc state drug
gists alc or NC case be I by
The carl ~ sd viii evidently
take car o[ U The business that
comes tlcir Wv