davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1907-01-03
nNw DIp You GET IN z

you will furnish the sherry III fur
nish the fresh eggs and we will mix
up drink hat is out OF sight. =
As eggs were worth So "A dozen,
the liquor man decided that il was q
good bargain, although wine was
also sold al a stiIr figure in those
days. Then Bullock went into a
grocery store near BY and said To the
proprietor:
Nv il YOU viii furnish the eggs
IN furnish the sherry, and VIC will
have something worth while in tho
line OF fancy drinks.
Tho grocer agreed TO furnish tho
eggs, and d few minutes later both
entered he liquor house. The con-
coction was duly prepared and tho
three began 10 absorb it.
As Seth swallowed his share an
idea struck the bartender.
"Say," demanded he, turning up
on Seth, where do yon come in on
this game anyway W has fur
nishcd he eggs and have supplied
the liquor How DO yon get in:'
"Oh. I'm the promoter,' replied
Bullock with a smile
There was nothing left to say
Washington Post.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1907-01-03
A PAYING PURCHASE.
This Volume Proved to Be Good Ten
Shillines Worth.

~ Is seldom, one would imagine,
'hat original paintings by celebrated
artlsts are used TO illustrate book.
But IN one of the Amsterdam book
shops about folio miscellany was
picked up by an English tourist,
who was attracted by the water col
or sketches which had been inserted
therein as Illustrations. Upon reach
ing home he placed the volume.
which had cost him the equivalent
OF 10 shlllIngs, on shelf and forgot
oil about it for moro than a couple
OF years, when ono evening a neigh
Dor, who happened to be an artist,
dropped in for Il game of whist, and
after the rubber Mr.. S. suddenly,
while talking OF sketches, bethought
himself of the book he had pur-
chased. he took it from beneath a
pie OF other volumes in the cup
board where ii had lain neglected
and handed ii to his friend.
After a few minutes the artist
said very quietly, "lIave you any
idea as TO whether these drawings
are amy good: =
NO.. replied the owner. Il don't
know anything about them, but they
took my fancy, and so gave the
man, after bargaining, 10 shillings
for the book.
The artist smiled. After pause
he said. 81 will give YOU three times
as much for the drawings, and you
can keep the book.
"No," said his friend, II don't
want TO sell.
"Well, : said the other, "you are
wise. for at least six of these
sketches are by David Cox and per-
haps worth 10 or even 20 guineas
apiece. One is a Bilket- Foster,
worth about $50, ! should say, and
one is Law, worth nearly as much.
Two Others am doubtful about.
The rest are not of much account. :"
The tourist placed the drawings
in the hands of we'll known deal
er. They were sold by auction and
altogether realized nearly 800
guincas. One of the doubtful ones
proved TO be a Whistler and the 9TH
er sketch for a picture by a we'll
known French artist. - Give Hol-
land in Chambers Journal.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1907-01-03
Municipal rhrist.

On the way from one town on Cane
Cod to another contributor to the
Boston Transcript came upon charm
Ing house by the roadside, which inn
mediately claimed his attention. II
bore fresh coat of white paint, which
was we'll set off by green blinds. There
was smooth piece of lawn in front, a
group of fine shade trees and ham
mocks, piazza chairs, brilliant sofa pill
lows and all the adjuncts of summer
comfort in luxurious profusion.
Whose place Is this?" ne demanded
of the boy of twelve who accompanied
him as guide and adviser in general.
''rhat there" said the boy. "Oh, that
there's the poorhouse''
1.-THE poorhouse" the man exclaimed.
You seem TO have luxurious paupers
in this town
"Well. you see" was the explanation,
1--WE h,in't got hut one. IL she's an old
woman. IN the overseers they board
her out will, one o the neighbOrs m
let the poorliousc to some O them Bos-
ton folks for the summer. m that pays
her keep"
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1907-01-03
How TO BOIL water.

To boil water would seem to be
very simple thing, and yet the late
Charles Dclmonico used to say that
very few people knew how to do it.
"The secret is he said lin putting
good fresh water into clean kettle al
ready quite wa.M and setting the wa
ter to boiling quickly and then taking
1t right Off for use in tea, coffee or
other drinks before 1t Is spoiled. To let
It steam and simmer and evaporate un-
til the good water is In the atmosphere
and the lime and iron and dregs only
left i'm the kettle is what makes Il great
many people sick, and it is worse than
no water at ALL For water boiled like
this and favored with few drops Of
lemon juice Mr.. Delmonico used to
charge as much as for his best liquors,
and he often recommended it to his
customers and friends who complained
Of loss of appetite. 1t is worth trying.
Good Living
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1907-01-03
The Hira.s Bill WAS Locked.

A curious Dirl tragedy is told about
h the Iondon Field. \ man found
yellow hammer dead in his yard at
tie foot of 4 wall. The bird had flown
against it with such force as to be
stunned. Not only that, but the upper
mandible had been bent back, and in
the straightening out the sharp point
was driven down through the lower
bill and locked, thus looming the bird
to death by starvation The man sent
the head 10 the Field. a good many
similar accidents have been recorded,
but IT was always heavier bird, whose
weight made the springing of the bill
easier a good lnany of the birds We're
found in a starved condition, showing
that they died lingering deaths from
want Of food. Birds that fly against
the lighthouses have the skull bones
crushed and die instantly, but others
are stunned only.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1907-01-03
The Alternative,

The doctor had been called to see
pitman's Wife. On coming down from
her room the doctor said to the hus-
band: well, Geordy, I'm glad to say
there isn't very much wrong with your
wife. It's case Of too much blood,
and We'll try an old fashioned remedy.
Just get leech at the chemists and
put it on her, and believe you'll find
her better when call in the morning" :"
Next day the doctor called again and.
meeting the husband, who was bit of
a sportsman, like many Of his kind,
said: "And how's your wife this morn
ing, Geordy: Better, expect" "Nai
man, but she's worse" replied Geordy.
"Worse.w exclaimed the do ,tor. But
did you do as told you last night?'
"Nell, not exactly, for couldna get a
leech, so put the ferret + bed WI 'er." T"
London Tatler.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1907-01-03
rl.ed naxonet..

It Is said that during the siege Of
LAdysmith In the Boer war the assault
column OF British advancing In thick
darkness. climbed up an almost pre-
cipitous wall Once or twice they were
family challenged AT last Boer rec
ognized them and shouted to the sentry
to fire on the "ycrdoinde rOoineks!" Az
the crest was gained the fire broke out.
\ few of the attackers began to reply,
but they were stopped. and the voice
Of the commanding officer was heard
to give the order Fix bayonets"
That there were no bayonets did not
matter. The men, taking up the cry.
rushed on the Bocr gunners, who fed
at the thought of the cold steel
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1907-01-03
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
Il VIZ . Great speech, Theusht plass's
Fellow Student.

The late Senator Platt of Con-
hecticut was more than just an able
executive statesman He was y
scholar and a student, with knowl-
edge of oratory, 10 mention but a
single one of many subjects. second
to no fellow members in the senate.
With sound reading and the best Of
the worlds great examples to de-
pend upon. therefore, il is not sur
prising that he WAS hard critic Of
the art of public speaking. TO win
Mr.. Platt's approval man must
say something. and say ii in the best
way at that
"Ihc criterion of oratorv in the
back districts OF Connecticut" ho
once said. is not hard to satisfy. I
remember when was studying law
how fellow studcn, came back to
the office to tell the quiet old Judge,
under whose patient eve we were
reading, that he had just heard a
wonderful speech. made by Il local
light (and not a bright light cithcr)
before a certain agistratc of the
peace
~.Indccd" replied the judge.
'And y'..t did he ~.lv =
81 cont cNactlN remcmncr much,
but il was !, .real ee' l..
81 don't spsii lhal. But lc.
us hear some II the points that
were made
"'Thc hoy scratched his head for
Q moment i'm embarrassed silence
and then blnrtcd ont, I can't repeat
. word of ii; but, say, he jumped as
high as the table every time ho
raised his voice" Philadelphia
Ledger.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1907-01-03

r., o,l,ar afternoon man rushed In
Az .,o peadius terminal. galloped up
~, y 81 stairs ana dashed for the train
NV .nsa lust as the gates We're closed
'sa,, us looked as if he wanted to swear
rasi = voeii'eroasly. but he was out OF
r,na .ru and all tlat he could do was to
,ssn % against the fence and soulfully
ns ''.h II vas then that the grinful idiot,
rSo s.s Is always on hand, paced over and
butted in. -, 80,
!. oneried. with a smiling glance ut the
panting one. -
chase myself up here that way every
sTs @ minutes to see them shut the
rtes.' 40,
,se other. not at all abashed. "Is your
watch out Of order?'
10, my watch is all to the good," re-
cl,ed The man who missed the train,
. ahu, Think that my feet are about
tvo minutes low Philadelphia Tele-
raph
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1907-01-03
.Dr,en,e.i. Orient.Is.

knowledge Of direction seems TO be
distinctive with the Bnrmans, says the
author OF "a People M School" They
always reckon rs the needle, not w
relative position They do not say
Turn 10 the right but Turn to the
west" If Il table in room has two
tumblers Oh it, one of them Will be the
east tumblei. HE other the west, and
the table itself viii be not the table
near Che window bit the tail" III The
east of the room 50 they speak OF
the north or south side of Il street or
Of tree, not the ~llady OF sunny side
Even In rain Or mist they know the
direction at once An English Traveller.
walking in the Burnian forest On
foggy morning to find All trace - the
road wiped out by rain and every ap.
parent lncais Of asferiallins diree-
ton gone, Was at loss what TO 40.
but his Enlnan servants knew at
once. THAT is north" they said, point
ing. "and ,lat is cAs u. Our course lies
between. and straight TO the north
east they marched unrrringly.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1907-01-03
The Fsrst Bathing Machine.

There does not Seem ~ be much
doubt that the first bathing machine
was seen at Nlarg:tt aud tlia. II MAS
the invention of a worthy Quaker
named Beale. who placed his hopeful
invention OH the Margatc beach in
1850. THE public are obliged to Ben
jamin Beaie, one of the people called
Quakers, for the invcntion,' writes the
author OF IA Short Description of the
Isle OF 'rhanet," published in 1896.
But II was the old story the public be.
came grateful after the inventor had
been ruined by his enterprise. Ills
successors had rcaped the harvest.
Old Benjamin Beales widow could re.
member in her last days the first fam
lily that ever resOrted to Marsate for
the purpose Of bathing being carried
into the sea In covered cart. In lsO3
Boales machines We're one of the in
stltutions OF Margate II was alarm
ingly claimed for them that they may
be driven to any depth into the sea by
careful guides"-T P's London Week
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1907-01-03
CONDENSED STORIES.
Goth suIlock's Clever Scheme to sessss
Free Refreshmcnt.

How Seth Bullock, supcrmtend-
ent of ihc lilaDN llllS forest re-
serve, personal tlicnd OF TIE prcsi-
dent and not nircqNemth q guest at
the White House and noted west
ern character, managed TO secure a
fancy drink in the early DAYS Of Hell
ena, is told by resident of that
city, now of tins
l, was in the early sixtlcs, when
Helena was one of tho banner placer
mining camps of the wcst and gold
was being washed by hundreds of
men from the sands of Last Chance
gulch (now Main strccD. Bullock
wanted Il fancy drink and did not
care 70 rcnuncratc the bartender
with fancy price in lieu. SO he
evolved a plan which worked To per-
lection.
Entering the saloon, Bullock said: !:
&c I'LL loll YOU what let's do. If
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1907-01-03
lis Lesson.

woman who had divorced her hus-
hand net him after many years.
Have You married again?" she
asked
The man shook his head.
"Ah.w sighed the woman. "You still
Dve me.
"NoY said the man, 81 love myself
He was asked to explain.
Bondage taught me the value of
freedom" he replied. Il am answer
able now only TO myself. I come when
lplease. g, when ] please, do what
please and need not make explana
tlon no longer divide my pleasures
by two or multiply my worries by the
sane number What | earn is mine
and, when ! contemplate it's possible
reduction, need fear for myself alone.
lhave no great joys, but then l have
no great solrows.''
"And love-" inquired the woman.
Il have been married." answered the
man. Claiming Pollock in Show.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1907-01-03
rras,a.le.. sve.,hr..a.. :.

"A true nwcctbrend Is perhaps the
most healthy meat that can he catcn,'
said a doctor, but you ,irc never able
to get It, The swcctbrc;ni proper is the
pancrcns, which Ia one of the most cf
fcctivc agents ils promoting digestion.
but the swccthrcnd of trade Is usually
obtained from tho thrOats Of cattle and
Is what Is called the thyroid glnnd
This gland rests against the wildpipe,
and. while It's texture is similar Ia that
Of the real sweetbread. Ii has not the
same beneficial qualities but some
butchers. la order 10 make money, pass
OF the saliyiry gland, that which fur
nislics tho saliva. located In the cheeks
for II swcelI,rcad. This Is the most In
ferior substitute OF all The pancreas
Or real Hwcctirrnd, Is n most dainty
plorscl 1t IL Of triangular form, while
the swcetbrends obtained from the
throat are Of ~ oval form Bat what
Is the use of making people dlssatis
fed! They have been eating thyroid
and salivnry glands for swcetbreads
Tor years and have been satisfied But
then they have never tasted the real
thing" Pi.tsburg Dispatch.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1907-01-03
Gs.sli-.. aai,.inx In .h. c"..try.

Which is ,l. .osiie>t building in
America: W";'ln y", answer offland
the New Yorl, state capitol AZ Nlhany ::
Hardly Nonr thoughts would turn
more likely To the national capitol ut
Washington or TO tl. Congressional III
brary but the New York state capitol
cost more than the national capitol
The Empire State capitol cost S2l.-
100000. while the one ut Washington.
two acres larger. cost only Sle,OtpW,O
and the Congressional library only ST.
00O.OOO. Our Empire State capitol cost
o. much as the nation paid for all
Florida and the Philippines combined.
-0ilsou Willets In Leslie's Weekly.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1907-01-03
He Mas Dragged.

An ambulance surgeon had curl
0us experience the other night. He
was summoned to a police station to
Examine an unconscious prisoner. The
prisoner, very muddy and disheyeled,
y on the floor of the cell rooms. The
puysclan bent over and examined him
~ suu 'hen, rising, said in a loud stern
,., lAls mans condition is not due to
WIN lie has been drugged.'
!, = pohceman turned pale and said in
sumld, IN hestating voice:
L., I'm a. afraid Yer right, sir. l drugged
.m -. all llie way from Carney's saloon,
: matter OF . hundred yards or more"
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1907-01-03
4 story sa 0l. nail.

A curious tale OF Ole Bull Is told In
Q book Oh violins and vlollnlsts II
seems that In 1891. bcinK then twenty
one years of age, the famous vlolinist
wandered to Paris. The cholera was
raging and Malibran singing. He went
to hear her, and his landlord dccnmped
with his possessions, Including his vio-
lin. He was speedily reduced to OK
tremity. During the last dinner that
he was able 10 pny for he made the
acquaintance Of u remarkable man. To
this stranger Ole Bull confi,icd his mis-
cries. AT tho conclusion the stranger
said abruptly. well, I will do some
thing for you II you have courage and
D francs" II have both" said Bull.
"1Acn go TO Frascati's tonight nj 10
O'Clock, pass through the FIRST room.
go into the second. where they play
rouge ct nOir. and when new taillc
begins put your 3 francs OH rouge ana
leave II there" Bull did as directed.
and whom his 8 francs had become 400
he took them w after an episode with
z woman who attempted to take them.
Red continued 10 win, and had he left
his money longer lie would have won
an independent sum. The stranger.
who was present as his elbow. was
Vidocq. the French detective. already
EurODean celebrity.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1907-01-03
rats vyas !. ,ess.

English opinion Of the United State.
In 1e24. from the standpoint Of the
fashionable London set, IL shown in
the extract from the correspondent of
John Whishaw:
"You must have read some time
since in the papers Of 4 few young
'fashionables,' NJ. stanley N.ord Der.
by's grandson). Meesrs. Wortley and
Denison, ministerial msmbers, aud la
boucher, nephew of Mr.. Barring.
having sailed for New Yosk with the
intention Of making tour Of the
VI ted States. I've scheme was
thought very Wild asd much dlsap
proved Of by the rest end of tho
town. and disappointment and disgust
were universally predicted"
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1907-01-03
The PEOPLE of Great nr.,....

Ethnologically Great Britain is n MIX
turc Of many races. resulting from y
succession Of invasions Wllc,, the llo-
mans invaded Britain the Inhabitants
were Celtic. mixed with AN earlier
Euskarlan non-.\rynn element. They
continued to be mainly so until the
0fth and sixth centuries. when the lev
81 parts of the country were overrun
By German tribes. Then followed inva.
oions by the Danes and other Scandi
navian tribes and lastly the Norman
conquest. The inhabitants Of England
and the lowianls Of Scotland. there
fore. sprang from an amalgamation Of
the original Celtic with German and
Scandinavian blood Wales and the
highlands Of Scotland are still inl,;'l'it
ed by descendants OF the ancient celtic
tribes. The People OF ireland also are
Of Celtic. OIL in although there is an
admixttirc Of many other raccS
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1907-01-03
Bcssar. sea-. rake ,se ..c.-..'


Begging seems to BIZ lucrative call
ing in Vienna. In one OF the district
police courts a man and his wife were
summoned to appear ON a charge Of
begging in the streets Only the wo.
man appeared. aud In answer to the
magistrates questions stated that her
husband had gone to Bsden to take q
cure! The prosecuting attorney re
marked that the Nennese beggars
earned such good incomes and lived 30
well that they were forced to 90 to
some bath resort to recover from their
high living. Only Anew days ago. he
said, begsar wsa1 known In the Wen
ma police courts had returned from
Carlsbad after taking the cure there
and had resumed his begging with
renewed vigOr.-Pall Mall Gazette.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1907-01-03
PawssAsp Sales.

Don't imagine" says an auctionesr
that you can get any real bargains at
pawnshol' sale. The pawnbroker
knows just what people think about
his stock. many Of them having learn
ed from experience that he will pay
next to nothing on the. hest quality ef
jewelry and silverware, watches. ETC..
and they thus get it into their heads
that all the articles sold at auction are
genuine goods. But there's where they
make big mistake The pawnbroke er
seldom sells any pledged articles at
these auction sales. lie uses them sim,
ply for ~ blind Articles taken in
pawn are invariably sold at private
sale New York American.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1907-01-03
Valuable Desolate Islanas.

The most valuable desolate islands In
tho world are the Liakovs, in the Arc
tic ocean, off the mouth of the Lena. In
Siberia. They are frost bound and ut
terly barren save for arctic moss, but
they contain such enormous quantities
Of fossil ivory that they are exceeding
ly valuable-in fact, although uninhab-
tied save for the ivory diggers and Of
themselves incapable of supporting
life they produce revenue of f1,OOO.-
COO year London Queen.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1907-01-03
The Dozen.

In all the civilized countries of the
world thirteen is referred to as being
somebody's .dozen.' In America,
Australia, Great Britain (present day.
and several other lands that number is
is referred to as the "cobblcr's Dozen
there being tradition that there was
formerly a law which compelled cob
blers to put twelve tacks or nails round
the edge of boot heel. Finally, when
the nails became cheap, a center nail
was driven for luck.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1907-01-03
Th~ Exil 81 . (;oeA S.we.

.Mammy. said I'ickaninny Jim.
why didn't you name me George
Washington. Sonny" was the an
swcr, II isn gwne to name no mo
cllillen George Washington. Az soon as
dey hyahs dat story bout MT t,ein' able
to tell lie dey pears to git curious to
find out whether it's so or not. an dey
stahts in slaerimentn' rs soon AZ dey
kin talk. :" Washington Star.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1907-01-03
The simnie nride

brlda, Diae (after the return from the
th,t 'a 'o''f' see by this medical work
and nd man requires eight hours sleep
W. woman ten Bridegroom Yes.
Bride ,an =, mat somewhere myself.
every n aloN nice. You can get UP
and y !, morning and have the fire made
tme ~ - breakfast ready before it is
Bits '''' " get 'lp-l.ondon Tit
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1907-01-03
rae s,ervene er-: :

A collector Of evidence on the subject
maintains learnediy that the golf ball
- the most perverse OF human insti
tutions. Here Is II list OF strange lies
noted by n follower Of the ancient
game: In another players pocket.
where II had dropped after travelling
200 yards: In cows mouth: on tho
roof of q clubhouse: behind the glass
protecting a painting hanging on
cottage well: in clump Of daisies.
which II 80 resenbled that 1t was not
found for an hour. When 1t fell In the
cows mouth the frightened animal
Ralloped 27G yards nearer the hole and
then restored the ball to Its owner He
promptly claimed to have driven " 397
yards and the right 70 play i froh
whore N lav
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1907-01-03
State Inws.

III you should have your choice
whether TO die in the Empire State or
IN good old New Jersey, don't fail to
select Jersey" remarked a Hoboken
lawyer the other day. "Over there"
said he. we still do business on lines
ald out by the common law. For ex-
ample, under the laws of New Jersey
husband is entitled to all the per
sonal property left by his deceased
vile Across the river the case is
quite different because under the laws
VI 1ne state Of New York half Of de-
ceased wlfcs personal estate goes to
yer children and the residue reyerts to
aer husband. Only where there are no
eallaren Is tile hubby the whole thing"
New York Press.