The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1907-08-07


bravely into the lions mouth, but after
getting there he began to feel few
Qualms. There were hundred young
people there, and, though he watched
for five minutes. he saw no one fall
down. Those qualE1s were added to
when a good looking young girl who
stood near him called out to a young
man:
Jimmie, be around when this old
fellow makes his debut. There will be
a wagon load of fun. If he's got
wife, it's a wonder she didn't keep
him home"
"Never mind her." remarked one Of
the Old Boys. ut pains me to see such
frowardness in young girl. Perhaps
she won't feel herself so smart when
you have taught the mob how to cut
pigeon wing"
Begins to Have Doubts.
81 shouldn't like to fall down out
there on the floor" said Mr.. Bowser
in rueful tones.
as soon look for the heavens to fall.
We are all impatience to see you in
your great act Shall I help you put
on your skates?"
Mr.. Bowser wanted to go home.
He wanted to be in that safe and
comfortable sitting room with Mrs.
Bowser.
He wanted to be smoking his cigar
and watching the cat on the hearth
rug.
Mrs. Bowser had called him pudgy,
but he would forgive her.
He fused with his skates until he
could fuss no longer. 1t had gone
around the rink that he was cham
pion, and at least half the skaters had
taken seats to give him room. He
muttered something about a sudden at
tack of rheumatism and that his heart
was palpitating in strange way, but
it wouldn't do. The Old Boys crowded
around him and spoke encouraging
words, and his skates were finally
fastened on, and he rose up.
care you going to give us an exhi-
bition Of fancy skating?" asked the
manager as he came up.
'T dun-dunno," replied Mr.. Bowser
as he wiped the sweat from his fore
head. You see, didn't expect there'd
be more than half a dozen people here
tonight. and"-
"Just keep your eyes on him if you
want to know what roller skating is"
warned one of the Old Boys. and with
that the man who wasn't pudgy was
launched out on the floor. For mo-
ment he stood like man afraid tc
move an eyelash. He would have Civ
en- a billion dollars to be back on a
bench. He would have given two bill
lions to have been on his own front
steps. He would have given all the
gold and diamond mines in the world
to have been sitting near Mrs. Bowser.
The crowd took it the other way, how
ever. They. thought he was acting in
order to increase the applause later on,
and they cheered and shouted. Mr..
Bowser hung to the spot like dog to
q root, but he had to move at last.
There came to his heart wild hope
that Providence might take care Of his
feet for the next few minutes, and he
made desperate dash.
Fell on His Head.
His right foot made bee line for the
wild and woolly west and his left for
Toronto, Ont, and then he shot for
ward and upward and came down on
the back Of his head and knew no
more. It was new feat, and there
was wild applause. His lying there all
sprawled over quarter Of an acre Of
space was also new feat, and doz-
en- Of the more enthusiastic skaters
seized him and dragged him around
on the polished floor for i've minutes.
When he finally opened his eyes ha
had been deposited on one of the seats,
and an Old Boy was pouring cold water
down the back of his neck.
"W-what is it?' was asked.
'Bowser, you 60 home"
"W-what for?''
Because you are pudgy little man
and have made an ass of yourself. Oh,
If you could have only seen yourself
when you bounded into the air like
billy goat and then came down on your
head! Ha. ha, ha!'
Mr.. Bowser limped home. Mrs. Bow
ser was still up and waiting for him.
"Well, did you get your exercise"
she asked as he flung his skates down
In the hall.
No answer.
"Many people there"
He threw his hat and overcoat down
after the skates.
"How did you get along with your
|. pigeon wings"
The silence Of the grave, broken only
by the creak Of the steps as he crept
upstairs and undressed. with sighs, and
got into bed, with suppressed groans.
Mr. Bowser had skated his skate. He
was high roller who had been brought
low. Nj. QUAD.