davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09
ALTERNATING CURRENTS.
From the Chicago Record Herald
THE STREAM THAT QUIT.

From the Chicago Record Herald.
THE STREAM THAT QUIT.
A little stream within a glade
Said. in a fretful tone. one day.
"Too scant respect 20 me is paid,
I'm sighted in a shameful way.
Now. Just for spite, III cease 10 run,
And cause the mills 70 stop below:
They've overlooked the work I've done.
III make them very sorry. though"
The little stream forthwith went dry,
But. Tar below. the mill wheels turned;
The water in the creeks was high,
The rivers flowed on, unconcerned;
Nobody seemed 70 care or know
That IN peaceful glade somewhere
4 slender stream had ceased to flow
There still was water. and TO spare.
You, too, are tempted oft % deal
A stunning hope-destrOying blow:
You think II you should quit, no wheel
IN all the splendid works would 60;
But ere your anger Is displayed.
Pause and bestow thought or two
Upon the stream within the glade
That quit. though no one ever knew.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09
His Respect GAINED at Lart.

"Briefieigh is, I think. one Of the great
est lawyers in this State"
why, I heard you say once that you
didn't consider him any good
"Oh, that was several years ago. He
used TO give ME pointers on legal matters
without charging me anything. merely
because we happened to have offices ad.
Joining each other Recently ne has been
charging me a stiff price every time /
have gone TO him for word Of advice"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09
A Convincing Argument.

Permit me, judge" said the gratihed
young attorney after the decision in favor
OF his client had been handed down. Ito
thank You most sincerely. I assure you
I was highly gratified 10 note the close
attention you gave me while I was max
ing my argument"
Yes; l was deeply interested in your
talk. You convinced me that Il is possible
10 be at once a fool and IN the right"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09
Her Intentions

Il would not think Of accepting a ring
from a man whom I did not intend to
marry" said the fair girl with the Hmpid
eyes.
I suppose. then" replied her friend.
that your father paid for all the gems
you are wearing"
"Oh. no. I really intended when I &C.
cepted these TO marry the gentlemen. But
one never clings 70 an intention long when
one Is putting IN the time at summer re-
sorts"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09
INSPIRED BY THE HERALD.

Augusta Chronicle: What IS Definite
Democracy asks The Washington Her
aid. We'll, it is not the plural of grape
fruit.
Cleveland Leader: The Washington Her
aid says that insanity can be cured by
hot air. That sounds homeopathic-but
what'll cure hot air?
Montgomery Advertiser: A modern scien-
fist tells US that champagne affects the
eyes" to which The Washington Herald
adds that 1T also affects the nose" Yes,
and also the pocket
Charleston News and Courier: The
Washington Herald asks What on earth
is Definite Democracy " We know. but
we won't tell you. John Temple Graves
is the only man in the South who has the
right to unravel this riddle.
Savannah News: The Washington Her
aid directs attention to the fact that a
German baron. before marrying an Amer
lean heiress. worked six months in a coal
mine. This obviously made him a coal
baron, and a coal baron is not such a
bad match.
indianapolis News: Where Is all our
gold?' asks New York financial paper.
Our impression is that Messrs. John d.
Rockefeller and associates have the great
er part of it-Washington Herald Well,
they'll need It to pay those fines, went
they? Don't be a crouch.
Cleveland Plain Dealer: The Washing
ton Herald says that the three Americans
who have been successful on the English
turf this year are Democrats. But will
the New York World accept as a winning
answer to its conundrum, What Is a
Democrat7'' the statement that he Is an
American who is successful on the Eng
fish turf?
Beaumont CTex.) Enterprise: "Oh. why
should the spirit OF mortal be hot, when
beer may be bought for a quarter bot p
demands the poet of the New York Mail.
But what OF the man-excessively hot
who longs for the beer, but the quarter
hath t?-Washington Herald. Or think
of the man the quarter not shy, who hap
pens to live in a town that is dry.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09
Restrained.
From Puck.

7 IuIl I uCh.
do you know we have the most ac-
commodating chauffeur you ever heard
OFF,
Indeed
Eyes, sir. When he is offended he
merely kicks me, swears at my wife, and
cuffs the children, where the average
chauffeur would leave
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09
Not for American Emigres.

From the New York Evening Post.
Senator Latimer believes that we should
require every immigrant TO present GER
tificate Of good character from the home
authorities and the American consul. No
such certificate Is proposed for those born
in America. however.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09
ARE YOU GOING AWAY?

Subscribers who leave the city
temporarily should have The
Washington Herald mailed 10
them. Addresses viii be changed
as often as requested. You can
not keep fully Informed about
affairs In Washington unless
your paper follows you.
Before leaving, mail OF tele-
phone your address to this Of
fee.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09
We Lead the World.

Sometimes it is not altogether a credit to
lead other nations, and there is little cause
for congratulation in the computations Of
a German statistlcian. who has been fig
uring on railway accidents. He finds that
the United States not only leads the world
in totals. but in proportional figures. Out
of every Thousand railroad employees he
finds the ratio of injured 10 be as fol-
lows: The United States, 1876; Switzer-
land, 25.3; England, lis; Belgium. Il; Ger
many, "a. Out of every 10000 employees
the proportion killed is: The United
States, 261; England, 1913: Switzerland.
80; Russia, rs; British India, 81. and
Belgium, Al France holds the lowest and
most enviable record in the matter Of
travellers killed. while in the United States
the number injured is forty times that of
Russia, twenty-five times that of Italy.
twenty times that of England, eight times
that Of Belgium. four times as many as
Switzerland, and twice as many as Ger
many.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09
Amazing If True.

From the Richmond News Leader.
Senator TiIlman's declaration that "the
Democratic party is losing its seed corn
Of craftsmanship" would be somewhat
amazing If ii emanated from a less SEN
sational source
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

And now Senator Bob" Taylor is clam
oring for a war with Japan. And here
we have been thinking all along thar
'Bob's" specially was flddling for peace
and bowling for happiness.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09
~
A Futile Intermission.

at is estimated that the sun will be
able TO supply the present amount Of heat
for a straight 100000 years"
THAT makes d two weeks vacation
look Ike wart on q universe, hey?'
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

ever, is not so much; number Of full
grown men are living throughout thss
land with no brains at ell in their heads,
so far as any one is able to tell
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09
sub.erip,ion Rae. By Nal.

No attention ioilI be paid to anonymous
contributions, Gad no COMMUNICATIONS 20
the editor iciH be printed except oUcr the
name Of the tVTiter.
Manuscripts offered for publication toiH
be returned If unavoidable, but StGmps
should be sent 10ith the manuscript for
that purpose
All Communications iatended for this
nctcspaper, tohether for the dolly or the
Sunday issue, should be addressed 10
THE WASHINGTON HERALD.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09
An Easy Remedy.

From the Augusta Chronicle
1t is now said that insanity can be
cured with hot air Then, why not com
bine business with pleasure and move
the legislature 20 Milledgeville?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

A number Of ministers In Coventry,
England, witnessed a rehearsal OF that
modern Lady Godlva's ride, and then left
the parish on the day Of the pageant. in
order to express their disapproval But
ahem-they had already seen the show.
hadn't they?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

'Mr. Rockefeller claims that he knows
nothing whatever about Standard Oil
affairs, says the Chicago Record-Herald.
At at all events. that is as much as he
will tell.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09
Nobody Interested.

THE wedding occurs next week. They
claim to be trying 10 escape publicity"
Then. why their rancor?"
Il presume they are succeeding"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09
To ReguIate the War Game.

From the Chicago Roc0rd-Herald
We may suppose that some OF the in
habitants Of Casa Blanca are by this
time wondering what peace conferences
are for. anyhow.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

It viii not be a great while before a
number of people will be returning home
from the summer resorts, In order TO
get little much-needed rest
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

rs the bathing suit erime?' queries
Southern contemporary. AT most Il
can be only petty misdemeanor." says
the Loudoun (Ya) Mirror. Petty. or
pretty?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

We'll, If you were ordered TO cough up
S29. 10000 while the sheriff waited, you'd
feel kind OF peevish, too" says the Rich
mOnd Times-Dispatch. Not az all; we'd
feel immensely fattered
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09
The Office.

Sometimes the office seeks the man.
There being no man available, some
times the Office. as in life insurance cir
cles, puts up with boy
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

\ Kentucky paper suggests that Uncle
sam divide out that SO, O09 that he
hasn't got yet among the inhabitants of
the United States. Good idea: Ii would
furnish each one with something Ike
six beer checks.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

A Russian grand duke is TO make
tour Of America in an automobile. At
least, that isn't any more dangerous than
lodging bombs on every street corner
in st. Petersburg
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

A Southern legislative wonder wants TO
put a $1,000 tax on all clubs. lie should
carefully refrain from planning attacks
on the Big Stick, however
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

The New York Times thinks the Stand
ard OILS fine should have been $5,S4S, 900. =
OOO, instead of S29,240.OOO We are glad the
judge didn't impose it. even If it be true
We have no overwhelming desire to pay
sl162 per pint for kerosene oil
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

The Alabama Legislature has passed a
law requiring all pistols sold in that State
TO be net less than two feet In length.
Doubtless the idea is 10 force all pistol
toters" 10 use their weapons for walking
sticks
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

Lincoln was a grocer" says a head
line In tho Augusta Herald. At least, he
wasn't O green-grocer.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

A Korean bride is not permitted TO
speak word for one entire week after
her wedding day. No doubt she makes
up for II all right when she does get
a start
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

Prof Carl Albers thinks that "oaths
should be done away with In judicial pro-
ceedings." STILL they are partially ex-
cusable in the defendant. perhaps, when
the proceedings are concluded with a
So, 240 900 fine
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

Hartman is a genius" says the Nash
vile American. No one viii dispute that
he was the Chicago and Atoms evil
genius.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09
Told You So.

From the Milwaukee Sentinel.
Oh just as we expected Politics /:
reaching out for Judge Lands.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

From The Detroit ms Fress-
A Wichita paper says that AL the
enthusiasm lavished on La Toilette last
spring is now lavished on Hobson."
Kansas is Kansas
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
EXHIBITION CASES.

J.
This man attacks his wife with beamsl
He drags her by the hair
The happy couple. so 1t seems.
Were married on a dare.
II.
This man for alcohol doth yearr,
And very drunk doth get.
He and his wife, we duly learn,
Were married on bet.
III.
This man delights TO scowl and sneer;
His devious ways are dark.
He anG his wife, II doth appear,
Were married on lark.
Moral:
Ladies, In picking out your shoes
And hats, you are not derse.
So when a mate you start 10 choose,
Would it not be as well TO use
4 modicum of sense?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

A number Of Georgia saloon-keepers are
casting about for new locations, now that
the prohibition bill has been signed.
Doubtless they would find Kansas a fine
field of endeavOr
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

AT lola, Nebr., Mr.. Bryan shook hands
with a waitress" says the Topeka
Journal. No; Of course she cannot vote
but probably her best fellow can.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

A Chicago contemporary says that VII
liam Dean Howells discovered Henry
James That may be true, but IL is an
easy guess that Mr. Howells never has
been able TO understand why he did Il.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09
OLD south NIeeting HOUSE.

Last Sunday morning the Rev. Edward
Everett Hale stood In the pulpit Of the
Old South Meeting House, OF Boston. and
preached a sermon. He took for his text,
The glory of this latter house shall be
greater than that Of the former saith
the Lord OF hosts; and in this place viii
give peace. saith the Lord Of hosts.
Haggai. xi:9) II was from this text that
the famous DR.. Sewan preached IN the
same pulpit nearly 20 years ago. The
Old South Meeting House has been silent
and empty for nearly the third of a cen
fury now, but DIT. Hale hopes that II may
hereafter be utilized for public discourses
Of "a scientific and educational nature"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

News comes from England that II is
soon TO be Baron Carnegie" Oh, shucks!
How can any one ever expect us TO call
Uncle Andy" your ludship!"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

DR.. Wiley says men sleep too much"
Evidently the photograph and the pianoia
are unknown quantities in the doctors
neighborhoOd
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

The reported engagement of an Indiana
man and woman, 100 and 1O1 years OF
age, respectively, has been declared of.
There Is no evidence that their parents
objected. however
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

Ella Wheeler Wilcox says there is
nothing certain about an automobile"
Yes, there is; 1t is a certainty that Il
will look Ike 30 cents next year beside
the new models
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

There are a good many prize fighters,
bridge jumpers. &c, IN the field. Still"
"Welf?'
'The publication of manuscript does
not necessarily imply a lack of literary
merit"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09
Georgian bay Canal.

After two years and a heavy expendi-
ture OF money, the survey Of the pro-
posed Georgian Bay Canal is completed.
In size and cost this project IS comparable
only with the Panama Canal. A rough
estimate Of its cost places It at about
Sl25. o0o,o1o and It Is thought that the re-
vised estimates based on the survey just
completed will increase this sum. The
project plans for a channel with q
minimum depth Of twenty-five feet, ex-
tending from the Great Lakes TO Mon
tTeal. by way OF French River, Lake
Nipissing. and the Ottawa River. II
il is ever completed IL will mean that car
goes may be shipped from the Great
Lake ports "a any part Of the world with
out breaking bulk The saving both IN
time and money VIII be enormous.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09
MEN AND THINGS.
Praise for Minister Fox.

The many friends OF Hon. Williams c.
Fox, former chief of the Bureau OF Amer
lean Republics, will be pleased TO learn
OF the marked success that has attended
his career since his bries incumbency OF
Office as American Minister to Ecuador.
The papers Of Quito speak IN the most
complimentary terms of Mr. FoX's abili-
ties as a diplomat and commend him es-
pecially for the tact and care with which
he has looked out for American interests,
while at the same time enlisting the good
will Of the government and people Of
Ecuador. Recently he was appointed one
of the arbitrators TO adjust the difficulties
between the government OF Ecuador and
the Guayquil and Quito Railway corpo-
ration.
American capital is being largely In
vested In railroads and other enterprises
in South America.
Minister Fox, by wise and ready dis
cernment, has been able not only 10 ad-
just many details that are constantly
arising between the government Of Eeua-
dor and capitalists from America. so as
to win the good viii Of his own country
men, but he has, by the exercise Of rare
judgment. enlisted the good will and en-
thusiastic support of the government TO
which he is accredited.
Mrs. and Miss Fox, who are with the
Minister. and are so agreeabl,- remem-
bered in Washington, have been the recip-
tents Of many delightful social attentions
since their arrival in Quito.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

A New York preacher says there are
three heavens. The average man will do
very well to make q landing in any one
OF them.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

From the Boston Herald.
Secretary Of State Roots family is also
quite busy contracting alliances.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

An Indiana man reports terrific down.
pour Of bullfrogs and lizards Is Indiana
seeking TO attract the attention Of the
prohibition agitators?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

While there appears to be some dis
agreement as to Mayor Schmitz's legal
status, his physical status is apparently
fixed beyond argument.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

A st. Louis boy is living with only
spoonful Of brains in his head. according
to the Terre Haute Tribune. That, how
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

Cleveland Leader: The Washington Her
aid says that insanity can be cured by
hot air. That sounds homeopathic-but
what'll cure hot air?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09
Neither Holy Nor Sacred.

From the Chicago Tribune
In some particulars a holy war" is not
unlike sacred concert"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

Dr.. Peter MacQueen wants Mr.. Roose-
welt to run for king. The average Amer
lean prefers to draw for him.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

Art in Advertising.
Press agent. wake.
Forego the fake.
Be no fat-witted clam.
Proclaim your star
To be by far
The greatest ham who am,
Advt. Got.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

An operation has been performed on ex-
Gov Odells jaw. His monumental cheek
remains unimpaired however.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09
BLIND TO SELF-INTEREsT.
Railroad Batting I'm the South and
It's Financial Consequences.

From the New YORK sun.
The railways Of the South need new
equipment and more equipment. They
need new tracks and trackage. They
need facilities for the business already
upon them and far greater facilities for
the business which should lie immedi-
ately ahead Of them
Blind to their own welfare. careless Of
their great economic interests and de-
luded by politicians who are playing with
vast issues for their own political aggran-
dizement. some Of the States Of the great
new South are cramping their present
and strangling their future by legislation
and attempts at legislation which tend to
ruin their lines OF communication with
their markets.
II the policy Of the South toward its
railways were as liberal as IT is iiliberal
the resuhant benefit 10 that section would
be incalculable. As It IS. there IS grave
danger OF widespread industrial disaster
as a consequence OF I'll advised railway
legislation. Il IS the policy OF suicide.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

Even should they acquit Caleb Powers.
he probably would come around about
this time next year to get tried again.
Just through force OF habit.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

Encourage the young poets" says an
Indiana contemporary. Indiana ever
stands by its chief product
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

Now, if it had been a beauty contest
in Mississippi, Gov, Vardaman might
have won out with ease.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09
The Rhodes scholarships.

It is a curious and gratifying fact that
not only in athletics have American col
lege men distinguished themselves this
year, but also in scholarship. In the list
of honors awarded in the finals of the
school of modern history at Oxford, Amer
lean holders Of Rhodes scholarships are
prominent Six American scholars are
mentioned, of whom J. II. Kirkpatrick. Of
Alabama. stands at the head He is one
of the nine students TO gain first-class
honOrs. SecOnd-Class hOnors We're won By
w. B. Wallace. of Minnesota, and B. g.
Thayer, Of New Hampshire. and third
class honors were taken by @. E Hamil-
ton. of Indiana: L. H. Gibson, Of Idaho
and r. T. Brooks, Of Georgia. The only
other Rhodes scholar of any nation but
America to win honors was c. B. Martin,
of New Brunswick.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-08-09

Mr. Andrew Carnegie seems to be reap
ing some reward for all the libraries and
peace palaces that he is erecting with his
surplus funds. Many rulers have dec
GRATED him for his generosity, and il, IS,
presumably. because of his peace palace
at The Hague, which critics say looks
like a modern railway station. that Queen
Wlhelmina has conferred on the Scotch
Pittsburger the Order Of Orange-Nassau.
This IS only a recently created decOra-
ton. It was founded in 1892 in the name
of Queen Wilhelmina. and il is conferred
only for favors 10 the royal family or 10
the country, and 1t was expressly pro-
vided Il could be granted TO foreigners
as we'll as TO natives. Il consists of a
blue enameled cross with eight points, the
whole surrounded by laurel wreath. in
the center is the national coat-of-arms
on a blue ground, surrounded by the
motto, "Je Maintiendri.' On the re-
verse side there is an inscription, God
zij met ous.' surmounted by d large W.