Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-12-20

Mrs. Jastwed How do you like those
oranges? Mrs. Justwed-I think the
dealer handed you lemon.
Penner- The critics roasted your
book, dent they2 Scriblet-Yes but
not enough to insure its success.-Life.
We've lost our cook again" That's
never happened to me- It's that so7
How did you manage it," Il married
her ~ Detroit Free Press.
Madam, beware Of man with black
eyes" Huh! he amt dangerous
That's my husband; l gave him them
eyes last night - Houston Post.
He-How can l repay you for that
delightful waltz2 She (whose train has
suffered oh. don't repay ne, settle
with my dressnlaker. Ally Sloper.
Daughter Father went or in good
humor this morning. Mother-Myi
That reminds me. l forgot to ask him
for any money. Christian Advocate.
Miss Rosy George says he admires
me because | am the picture OF health.
Mics Pale-Yes; the silly fellow was
always crazy for anything hand-paint-
ed
He's wonderful actor" Think
soT Yes, Notice how passionately
he makes love to the leading lady In
the last acs2" yep" well, she's his
wife ~ Cleveland Leader.
with 100000 said the man OF ex-
pansive Ideas, II could make a fortune
In Wall street" Yes retoined the
piker, hut whose fortune would you
make Washington Star.
Yes; am going to marry Mr.. Bull
lion" why, he IL old enough to be
your fatherp II know he is, but. UNI
fortunately, he doesn't seem to care for
mother. -Courier-Journal.
MY daughter is going to marry a
millionaire" isn't that nicer Who
is he, and when &c the wedding to be?"
Il don't know yet She's just Joined
the chorus."--Detroit Free Press.
what is your idea of classical mu-
sicY' "Well," answered Miss Cumrox,
'as | understand II, classical piece is
written by some one whose name is
very hard to pronounce, Washington
Star
Husband ~ What Another new
dress? Wife Well, don't be so cross.
bought 1t with my own money! Hus-
band Your own? Where did you get
II from2 Wife, sold your fur coat
Bocla.
YES" remarked Farmer Corntossel,
my boy, JOSH gets a good deal o fun
out OF automobllingn but he doesn't
own machine" "0f course not He's
one o the county constables wash
ington Star
Law Is not so harsh as II used 10 be.
For instance, in the time Of Henry
VIII football was crime, while now
1t Is seldom regarded as anything moro
than a more or less fatal misdemeanor.
indianapolis News.
Clara--Of course, one OF the annoy
ing things about moving into new
neighborhood il the idle curiosity IF
some neIghbors Mabel That
doesn't bother me as much as the busy
curiosity OF the others.
Il suppose" remarked the dear girl,
that you do not believe ia love at FIRST
slght?" "0h. yes. / do rejoined the
old bachelor "If men were gifted with
second sight they would never fall In
love. London Opinion.
Gabriel have blown my trumpet
F thpan fifuoa atd t,af,nJxt s,oxts arx,
tentlon to II. Israel--That's strange.
isn't it7 People Just make a hasty
jump for the curbstone, and then look
to SEQ which way the auto vent
Cleveland Leader.
You never can tel" observed Uncle
Alien sparks, what lasting results rnay
be accomplished by an earnest word
spoken at the right time Many a man
has had the shape Of his nose changed
for life by calling another man liar"
Chicago Tribune.
Mr.. Galley Somebody's stolen our
dog again. That's d. Mrs.
Galley chastity interruptlng) GEORGE
Georgei Don't swear about It, Mr..
Galley Who's swearing7 was just
going to say It's doggone big relief.
Philadelphia Press
II suppose you go to the city at least
once year." said the summer boarder
II used tew," replied the old farmer,
but | Amt been thar fer nigh onto
thrca years meow Since we got rural
free delivery | kin git buncoed fist as
well by mall b'gosh !''---Chicago News.
A lot Of poor children were at
farm. The farmer gave them some
milk 10 drink. the product OF a prize
COW How do you like itfp he asked
when they had finished Gee, it's
fine :" said one little fellow. who adj
ded after n thoughtful pause Il wish
oar mllkman kept COW g'-Cardlff
Times.
Better send an INSPECTOR down to