davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1907-08-27
Very DecolIete.

Poor chap! Everything he earns
goes on his wifes back"
We'll. IL you'd seen her at the opera
you wouldn't think he earned much. -
Bohemian.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1907-08-27

Daughter-He writes me II letters
week.
Father-But he gets only one pay
envelope. PUCK,
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1907-08-27

1t is wonderful how many insists of
all kinds there are in the eternal fitness
of things.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1907-08-27

A deficit is far easier to handle than
a daily paper without telegraph SER
vice.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1907-08-27

To be q plumber in Goldheld is bet
ter than TO be born rich.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1907-08-27

Doctor-Have you any last wish?
Patient-Yes, | wish / had had some
other doctor.-Sloper's
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1907-08-27

The next federal grand jury should
Investigate the coal situation.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1907-08-27

In politics the great race problem is
to get there"
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1907-08-27

Nan (simpering)-Haro proposed
last night.
Fan-Yes; I wasn't going to say
anything about It, How did you find 1t
out?-Chicago Tribune.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1907-08-27

What is that old saying about fool
and his mouey?.
"Ah. yes. A fool and his money are
soon discovered. Milwaukee Sentinel.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1907-08-27

Has the salt Palace lost its savorq
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1907-08-27

DentIst-Which tooth is it that trou-
bles you, my man?
Pullman Porter--Lowah Five, sah.'
Puck
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1907-08-27
JUST FOR FUN.


sappy-Shc has the prettiest mouth
in the world
Chappy-Oh, 1 don't know. I'D put
mine up against it.-Smart Set
Alaska sentinel., 1907-05-23
'MOUNTAIN-sCRATCHER."

Ther are few things that rouse the Swiss inhabitants of Alpine villages to contemptuous anger 90 much as the spectacle of ignorant tourists anxious to attack the unknown height of dangerous mountains. These villag. mountains, and realize their perils When they see some stupid newcomer starting out alone on what may be noth ing less than d suicidal venture, sayi 'nv houuon rAures-. ti~J --y .. each other, Another mountain scratcher "
 The sensible tourist never by any means purchases an ice-ax. One day noticed a man enter one of the shops He looked at the ice-axes, and finally bought one. No one but a mountain. scratcher would buy an ice-ax at a toy. shop" said my guide.
 The next day I started out for an easy excursion to the glacier, hayinI the same guide with me who had point. ed out the mountain scratcher at the shop. He at once told me that tht "scratcher" had also started for the glacier, unattended.
 When we began to get on the glacier the guide fastened the rope round my waist. Not being a climber, I had only my alpenstock. The guides ice-ax wal ample for the cutting of necessary steps
 In short time we saw the noun. tain-scratcher. He was chipping away with his ax on a broad slope of ic1 that reached away Into illimitabls dis tance.
 Without wasting words the guide stopped me and united the rope. "Stay where you are," he said. That fool la right In the track of the avalanches. I must get him out of that at once. He may be killed any moment"
 The guide soon came near his man but he was over him, and a deep ere. vase separated them. I saw the guide thrust his a1 forward, but the man's nerve failed, and he did not grasp 1t The guide saw that he must actprompt ly, and thrust the point of the a1 Into the mans coat and under his leather belt, and pulled him up by sheer force
 The two came back to where was waiting. There was a low rumblina noise, which grew louder and louder. White drifts of moving ice came hurt ling down over the slope where but a few moments before the man had been standing. We had reached him just in time,
Alaska sentinel., 1907-05-23

The old be good and you'll be hap py" formula is rather unpopular. It contained an element of truth. but only an element. In actual life the yir- tuous do not always triumph nor the wicked invariably come to grief. Nev- ertheless, the virtuous mans chances of happiness are much brighter than those of the mean, small, selfish, vicious man. Similarly, while 1t Is i'm possible to lay down maxims for cer- tain success in business, such maxims, embodying the experience of ages, have their value. To say that the man who Is honest, punctual, prompt, careful, courteous will necessarily make for tune would be the height of folly; but certainly the business man who pos sesses these qualities Is far more likely to prosper than he who lacks them. In an interesting article in the Sunday Magazine of the Chicago Record-Her- aid eI-Secretary Lyman J. Gage dis cusses philosophically the value of business maxims, the proper qualifca- ton they require in attempts to apply them to individual cases, and the val ue of that subtle but important addi- tional factor, personality" His ob- servations are as sound as they are inspiriting. Attractive personality Is, of course, primarily a natural blessing. But, as MT. Gage well says 1t would be q radical error to take a fatalistic view of character and personality and assume that business men, like poets and actors, are born, not made" We can do much to shape and modify our respective personalities. In MT. Cages words "the mental faculties can be strengthened by exercise, the moral sympathies quickened by right refec- ton, the emotional nature purified by good ideals, the energies aroused by effective appeals to ambition" All moral education presupposes the pos sibility of improving and eleyating per sonality, of repressing bad traits and tendencies and strengthening favorable ones. Wise Is he, therefore" to quote
 OdSe uO ulAnsC4i of every means be can discover 10 de velop the good and useful inward forces and powers" which he has in- herited And happily such means are at hand everywhere, and all of us, regardless of station or condition, are able to use them. They consist of good associations, good reading, the pur- suit of knowledge, healthy exercise, cultivation of the sense of human dig niy and worth. With our free schools, free libraries, cheap books and maga- zines and newspapers, with our art museums, our settlements and various educational and cultural associations, no young man or woman need be de- priEed of thu 'sfccess In a moral, hu- man sense.
Alaska sentinel., 1907-05-23

Investigation by the National Bureau of Labor shows that industries are suf.
 fering from a lack of trained workmeu
 with an all-round knowledge of their trade. The apprentice system has all but disappeared, and its place has not yet been taken by an adequate trade school system. The extensive use of machinery and the subdivisions of la bor have given rise to thousands of oc- equations In place of a few well-de- fined trades. Many of these occupa- tons consist of single simple opera tion. Production on a large scale has destroyed the personal relation b. tween employer and employe, between
 master and apprentice. A young work CT may spend his life pulling a lever on one kind of machine and never know anything of the other processes In the factory. Employers are unwill- ing to take apprentices, journeymen are unwilling to instruct them, and ambi. bous boys are unwilling to become ap-
Alaska sentinel., 1907-05-23
YRopIaIEs FOR THEIR AGE
Christian Heinecken, the schoiars and Mozart, Musician, Marve1s.

Christian Heinecken, the schoiars
 and Mozart, Musician. Marvels.
 Of all the infant prodigies that have interested and astonlshed both hemi- spheres 1t Is generally believed that none was greater than little Christian Heinecken of Lubeck. This remarka- ble youngster when at tas tender age of 12 months was able to reclte the Pentateuch without an error and could pass the most thorough examination without a single slip. Fancy a child of 8 being able to converse fiuently In both French and Latin. But that Is what Master Christian could do and he could hold his own with the best mas ters of these languages.
 No one could catch him on a single question ln history, ancient or modern, and he was more familiar with re- ligious and church history than the majority of clergymen are. Before young Helnecken died, at the age of (, he was petted and made much of by royalty of the Danish court whi.s thousands of people fiocked to see him and listen to the words of knowledge and wisdom that fell from his baby lips.
 Another infant phenomenon, whose line was music Instead of languages, was beloved Mozart, who was looked upon as a harpsichord expert almost before he could talk. As matter of fact the child, Wolfgang Mozart, com posed a concerto at the tender age Of ( and, what was still more remarkable, this composition was so difficult that young Mozart's father, who enjoyed an enviable reputation as violinlst, could not master the work of his son until he had devoted considerable time to practicing 1t. Imagine this boy giv- ing a recital in a university hall be- fore musicians of worldwide reputation as students of music who had played before Mozart was born. By the time he had reached the age of this aston ishing youth had won Europe entirely and he was In a fair way to being spoiled by the kings and expresses who showered him with honor, affection and gifts
Alaska sentinel., 1907-05-23
WORLDS OLDEST CITY.
It h Bismya, in Asia, South of An.
 cient Babylon.

It h Bismya, in Asia, South of Aa-
 cient Babylon.
 Edgar J. Banks, professor of the Turkish language In the University of Chicago, arrived, says the Baltimore News, to-day as the guest of the Wom- ans college of Baltimore, where he is to deliver two lectures.
 '.The Oldest City in the World" about which pr. Banks will speak to- day. l. the ancient city of Bismya, in Asia, which lies somewhat south of Babylon. Dr. Banks was himself in charge of the excavations of this pre- historic ruin, having been sent by the University of Chicago as director of the oriental research party. For two years the research party works In Babylon and Assyria, and for two years in Egypt, successiyely. From his long period of residence in these countries and his own personal work In the mat ter pr. Banks has q fund of historical knowledge and graphic incidents of lie in the Orient.
 Perhaps the most interesting 'nnd' in Bismya, the oldest city In the world" said Dr. Banks to-day, 'fs q statue of David. It has been proved that this piece of sculpture belongs to the Samaritan dynasty, and is the most ancient statue known to be in exist. ence."
 When asked what had become of the statue. pr. Banks replied that the Turkish government kept firm grip on everything found ou or in Turkish soil The strictest sort of surveillance Is ex- ercised over foreign excavators that not a single piece of ancient ruins may be taken from the country.
 'The David I am sorry to say, Is in the Turkish museum at Constanti- nople," said Dr. Banks. But, despite the stringent laws and the strict watch over the workers exercised by the gov ernment, Dr. Banks had to admit that an excavator seldom left the country without having Hnuggled something through.
 Exactly how old the oldest city Is, It would be difficult to say. Written rec ords have been found In the ruins which actually date back to 40OO B. c.
Alaska sentinel., 1907-05-23
sAWDUST EXCELS LUMBER.
Material from It Better than tke
 Sawed Timber.

Material from It Better than tke
 Sawed Timber.
 Perhaps the old man "who used to eat sawdust with a spoon" was eating sugar. They make both sugar and al- cohol from sawdust. It practically Is pure cellulose and easily convertible Into these products Also sawdust In the Doth century Is more valuable than solid lumber. By the use of hydraulic pressure and intense heat the particles are formed into a solid mass capable of being nodded into any shape and of receiving a brilliant polish. The only materials used are sawdust, alum and glue.
 Imitation marble can be manufac- tured from a mixture of sawdust with ivory waste, water, glass and glue. In Norway acetic acid, wood naphtha, tar, and alcohol are produced on commer- e!al scale out of sawdust. Factories have been erected ln America and Eu- rope for converting pine needles into forest wool. This is used for mat tresses and furniture, for manufacture into hygienic articles such as under vests and chest protectors.
 For many years bituminous coal op- orators threw away slack as waste. Now 1t commands at the mines 75 cents [ ton. The increase Is due largely to the demand coming from makers of e. ment Formerly they bought lump coal and pulyerized 1t Now they use slack. Quartz rock was not long ago consid- cred worthless. Now glass is made from 1t. Bricks. cofins tombstones, tllings and similar articles can be made of this glass. The annual value of the by-products of the packing industry, all of which are manufactured out of what was waste material thirty years ago, Is approximately s2OO, ,OO0, 900. Cot ton seed not long ago was waste mat ter, giving considerable trouble to get rid of; but in 1900 the by-products of cotton seed were valued in the United States as more than $42 100000 which probably has doubled by this time.
Alaska sentinel., 1907-05-23
IMPROVING SERMONS.

The Kirk of Scotland has always laid great stress upon the power of sermons in its ministrations. John Kerr. In his "Other Memories, Old and New," gives some of his own recoliectlons on this point.
 A minister whose disposition was rather to drive than to lead called on | woman whose attendance at church was not quite so regular as he wished
 "I was pleased" he said, ito see you at church yesterday. You have not been very regular lately"
 "Oh, yes, I was there yesterday. uAir your uiscUorse, and was muckls the better o't."
 I'm glad of that. You'll remem- Der the text no doubt"
 No, I've a very bad memory for texts."
 Well, you remember what said about It, or some of the things l said?"
 No, I canna say that can reel off anything ye said"
 My good woman, you must Dc . hypocrite to say you were the better for being at the church, when you can not tell me either the text or anything I said about It."
 Do ye see," she replied, pointing to some clothes that were bleaching on the green, "thae claes oot there"
 "Yes," he said.
 "Weel, I watered them half an hour since, and there's no a drap O water to be seen on them moo; but they're . hantle the better o't for a that"
 This recalls the experience of another minister whose sermons were dull and not for edifcation. Meeting one of his congregation who had been a seri- ous defaulter In respect of attendance, he said, John, you have not been at church for a long time"
 No. canna just say when was at your kirk. was gie'en some O the ither kirks a bit turn"
 But, John, have you never heard that a rolling stone gathers no moss?"
 Aye, but I have heard, too, that c tethered lamb talks lang time to grow fat"
Alaska sentinel., 1907-05-23
A Nasty Knock.

Rev. Rodney swope. rector of the Vanderbilt Church at Asheville. said the other night in the course of an ad. dress:
 These subtle attacks are the most unexpected and the most wounding. You have heard about the clergyman and his aged parlshioner7 The parish toner said that he thought clergymen should be better paid.
 "'I am pleased to hear you say that Brother Brown exclaimed the young man. beaming with good will and hap piness It rejoices my heart to hear you say that
 "'Yes,' resumed the parishioner thaughtfully; wed get a better class of men, them"
Alaska sentinel., 1907-05-23
Had Faith in Statistics.

A wealthy farmer of Lebanon Coun- ty, now In his nlnety-sixth year, still persists In working hard every day. One of his neighbors, more than 90, met him one day and said:
 "Well, MT. B., we are getting to b. pretty old men,"
 Not so very old," said the other. gruffiy.
 But don't you think" persisted the neighbor, that we ought to be consid- ering about the next world7 We must very soon die, you know"
 Don't know about that" retorted MT. B. Every few men dIe at my age"
Alaska sentinel., 1907-05-23
His Dormitory.

A well-to-do farmer up the State, who had sent his son to Philadelphia to begin life as clerk, wrote to the merchant In whose employ he was, ask ing how the boy was getting along and where be slept nights.
 The merchant replied:
 "Hs sleeps in the store in the day time. don't know where he sleeps nights. Ledger.
Alaska sentinel., 1907-05-23
-~"@~--

being fully of the average citizens ignorance of the first principles of law the aversion to going to court' is well recognized being worthy Of comment
 First by admitting the existence of faulty equipment and. second. by maintaining claim department to buy prospective guts the corporations clearly indicate that they fully of their guilt but relying upon the tremendous influence of the almighty dollar thsy rest in absolute security from prosecution of the right kind Is 1t that the public seeing that h being d.
 beratey swndled daily should not rise and take s0sc i've action throttle the practices of thsss powerful corporations ?-Cincinnat Post
Alaska sentinel., 1907-05-23

It often happens that a farmer has much difficulty In weaning a calf and the longer the baby COW Is permitted to draw Its subsistence from the maternal fountain the greater the difficulty be- comes and the more pathetic l. the spectacle presented. So 1t is with hu- man beings who are compelled to sur. render any special privilege in the en. 5oyment of which they have been un,n. terrupted for a long time. They lose the capacity to distinguish between . privilege and vested right and they set up a wbine in which grief and h. dignation are so mixed as to make q tear-pumping blend
Alaska sentinel., 1907-05-23

double rates, for 1t had taken hin away from his Christmas turkey. But the doctor enjoyed the joke, and made good use of it
 On every Christmas day sincs, when he has been called to . poor patient he has told the story of the Christmas present visit Thus he has brought . laugh Into the sick-room. Then hs goes on to explain that the visit hs is now making is to be Christmas pres snt, too. So the doctor has enjoyed his holiday even when hs missed his Christ mas dinner.-Youth's Companion
Alaska sentinel., 1907-05-23
The Gift of Healing.

A physician who had attended a sick woman, the wife of an immigrant, through an illness that lasted from De cember into January, in due time sent a bill. Some months later the husband came into the doctors of1ce.
 "Mr. Doctor" he said, dat bill you gent. he's all right; but vone of dem visits you makes meln wife you makes him on Christmas day. You should make me a present of dat visit"
 The doctor says that the request was so original. 90 different from the more usual ways of asking for . discount, that he did make the man . present of the Christmas visit
 At first 1t seemed to him that that vidt should have bssn eharDsd 6oe st
Alaska sentinel., 1907-05-23

A Baltimore scientist has invented an electric cook stove which. he says, will revolutionize things In the kitch- en. Perhaps 1t is his plan to have 1t 50 arranged that the cook may be utilized as q short circuit when she becomes too arbitrary.
Alaska sentinel., 1907-05-23

English manufacturers of shoes have begun to make larger sizes for women, and now a number eight Is advertised, not by the vigorous athletic young wom- en who wear that number, but by the merhcants who know that the girls feet are big enough to fill such a shoe. Small feet, as well as gentle voice, are ad- mirable things in women, but 6 more admirable thing is a shoe that does not pinch,
Alaska sentinel., 1907-05-23

It seems almost foolish of the Mas sachusetts legislature to talk of stop. ping faith healing. For people who are not sick there Is apparently nothing wrong with faith healing.
Alaska sentinel., 1907-05-23

at one operation. One of the stencils Is preserved for use In making more stencils from motor push buttons be Ing used to regulate the speed. To prevent the paper sticking to the needle at each perforation, a guard Is placed close to the end of the tracing point, he guard stripping the paper from the
 needle as 1t raises up.
Alaska sentinel., 1907-05-23

vncs that fear of unsafe equipment on the average train is only too justified The operator fails In his duty the signal don't work rail was broken trestle gave way defective brake and a thousand and one ready excuses are offered daily by the great railroads In strenuous effort shlrk responsibility for the awful calamities which daily occurrence. It Is so that brake proved defective that this excuse Is always relied upon In pinch the rail- roads knowing full well that h of the many cepted generally with scarcely . murmur of condemna tion.
 Why Is 1t that the public stands by while an astute official with shrug the shoulders murmurs defective brake what are you going to do about it?" That Is precisely question: What you going to do about it" Admitting that the brake proved defective for h. stance is clearly admission of guilt in maintaining faulty or defective mechanical equipment, and conse queny 1t is se espylct the by tafr own admission they convict themselves and yet railroad company will calmly ask, What are you going to do about It." claim agent Is employed to settle for loss of loved ones with few paltry dollars. the company
Alaska sentinel., 1907-05-23

Nr. Edison talks of retiring from active work and merely amusing him. selr' with electricity hereafter. Al good business man he will see the wis dom of doubling the insurance on his life before he begins his career of amusement
Alaska sentinel., 1907-05-23
STENCIL PERFoRAToR
Device for Quickly Making Psrfor-
 ated Patterns and Stencils.


 ated Patterns and Stencils.
 An electric machine for quickly making perforated paper patterns and stencils has been invented by New York man, and Is shown in the illustra- ton below. Formerly this work was lone by hand, the process being very slow. In using the apparatus several sheets of comparatively thin paper are secured on a plan surface, the upper sheet having a light tracing in pencil mark of the design to be perforated. The machine can be freely moved around on the upper sheet, the design being followed with the tracing point, which rotates up and down like the needle on a sewing machine. The needle perforates the several sheets at ,ne time, duplicates being thus secured
Alaska sentinel., 1907-05-23
4 Funny Misprint.

One of the most ludicrous announce ments that ever appeared perhaps was made by . London newspaper in the earlier half of the last century to the effect that Sir Robert Peel land a par ty of nends were shooting peasants In Ireland" The words misprinted, of course. were friends" and "pheaS auts.s
Alaska sentinel., 1907-05-23

A Nebraska farmer wants q pretty girl arrested as witch, because his son can't stay away from her. If the precedent is established all the women In the country will be in jail.
Alaska sentinel., 1907-05-23

prenticea The bureau believes that sven under modern complex conditions, the old-fashioned apprenticeship would be very useful It is grave question bow the foreman, the superintendent, the master workman of the future are to be made out of the boy of to-day.
Alaska sentinel., 1907-05-23

Mark Twain says this country h So- ing to become a monarchy, and Chan cellor Day will probably be glad to nominate H. H. Rogers as the opening monarch.
Alaska sentinel., 1907-05-23
A Hard Fi1hter.

"I always understood Capt. shirk had quite a fighting recordT
 "So he has. He always fights fierce ly against any attempt to have him as. signed to duty in the neld"-Philadst phia Presa.
Alaska sentinel., 1907-05-23

Unless 1t Is soon discovered what has become of the freight cars of thls glorious country, every honest man will feel like stepping up and asking thai be be searched.