Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-09-21
..sexz9asH THINGS
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Of officer Sontag. was speeding over in the
| direction OF lexington. where box 81 Is
located and perched on q seat beside the
wagon man was The Star reporter. who
thought he would take the ride just for
the fun of the thing.
Arriving at the railroad crossing in Eek
ington, We found the two officers standing
over a dfmlnutive colored man. who ap-
peared to be fully seventy-five years Of
age. and who as he lay on the ground. with
arms resting on a huge pile OF WOOD
seemed to be decidedly under the weather.
He wasn't trying to conceal his feelings
either. the groans he was emitting
caused one to think that he was in danger
of dying every moment.
The two policemen picked the ancient
darby up and were about to deposit his
limp form in the wagon when he gave
grOan and said:
Gen men. please lem'me take my snack
of wood along alsuh.'
This isn't any woodward wagon" re-
piled officer Gusack.
II know it faint" cried the old fellow:
"but please. gen men. len'me brung de III
snack long wild me-" pleaded the ancient
"Cullud' brother with so much pathos In
his voice that finally officer Crismore, who
is a veritable giant of man, picked up the
large bundle of wood and with much diff
Guilty tossed IL into the wagon and in
other moment the patrol wagon with the
wood and the old darky was speeding back
in the direction of the police station.
At first 1t was the intention of the officer
in charge of the wagon to take the aged
passenger to Freedmen's Hospital but
when had arrived at the corner Of It'll
and L streets our venerable friend had so
far recovered himself and objected so
strenuously about going to the hospital
that finally, in response to his pleadfngS,
he was driven to his home up on 10th
street. where with much difficulty he and
his bundle Of wood were unloaded and the
patrol wagon returned to the station.
The Star man. having business farther
up the hill, was about to depart on his
nd . vi ha ct I'M on
the sidewalk in front of his own residence,
when his attention was attracted by a ges
t1Ire Of the old darky's. who now. with a
sly twinkle in his watery eye. said to the
reporter:
BEG yo parlin sub: but yo' am nut
c'nected wild de p'lice yo'?'
Being assured that the reporter had not
that honor. the veteran cullud gentleman
head from side to side in waggsh man
ner. Finally he gave mouth to the follow
ing:
''Yuah-all white folks cut'ny am mon
s;ous smart people. an po black folks
am nut so many; but l betcher l done
tuned one good trick dis huah ebenin'
sab; l sho'ly hab;' and here the old fellow
was so Convulsed with inward mrth of the
noiseless kind that the reporter thought
he might possibly be getting ready to throw
a fit. but he wasn't.
Yes. sah." continued the venerable HUI
morist: 1 shuah hab played it on yuah
white folks dis huah ebenn'. Yuah see.
sah.'' he said as he leaned against the
paling fence which surrounded his yard,
Il done gethered up all dat ar snack OBJ
wood. out round de new buildins bout
Eek ton: an den when l hab' it all tied up,
| tries pow'ful hard to If it up an done
foun' dat l KANT do hit. Den l say to
mahselb. Hyar yuah, Uncle Ned way out
hyar. bout two miles fun home: wild ar
mon'stou5 big load OBJ wood, an Wild de
night comm on.
Den 1 dun sot down, an t.inkL-uw in de
oh 49,
load OBJ timber to NAH shack Jes' when I
sho was might discouraged. de fought
SUDDENLY hit me OATS hits cullud folks
dat mainly supports de p'lice. an de pa
troll wagon. An jes' when / rives at dat ar
c'n-clushun, who 1 see cumin long but de
two OFFICERS den 1 done lay own. an
groan, sunni in turruble; an when dey come
up; l says I'm most dad an will yo'
gen'men, please sen fur de p'trol wagon"
Dis dey done do, an so. sab. l done got
mahself, an nah snack OBJ timber trans
ported chock OBJ 10 nah do, but l will
say" concluded the ancient schemer dat
yuah-all white folks is pow'ful smart peo-'
pie. aldo sometimes, yuah done lose sight
oh de fac dat de darby got any sense at
all: and dat su'pressun sho er wrong
70 yuah-all people to hab." added the
old fellow with a grin overspreading his
features, as he hobbled into his domicile,
in order to get the assistance of some OF
his roOmers. so that he could move his
snack of wood Into the woodshed IN the
rear.
+
keep your eye on your umbrella nv
boy said a feaster at one of Washington's
Lucullan tables d hote the other day Take
my tip that there's nothing doing if you
lose sight of it for minute. This place
may be all right. but I've become suspicious
of my best friends the umbrella ques-
ton. You see this rain-shed Of mine? It's
a WITHHOLDING roof. and it was a present
but it has cost me already in good, hard
bones right off the mint grill more than
two such thief-tempters bought in open
market.
Last month l got the Atlantic City bug
bad, and when 1 was going to sleep 1 could
hear the click of the girls heels on the
Boardwalk 1 piled all the money 1 could
find into a fat wad, and streaked for the
B. and o. station, taking that umbrella as
guard of honor. Atlantic City, or some
thing else, certainly had me going. for 1 got
aboard the train without my parasol leav-
Ing 1t unchaperOned In the upstairs waiting
room. When | discovered my loss handed
a few choice Anglo-Saxons at the porter Of
the parlor car, whose only suggestion was
that L should take another drink. BIT at
the first stop | sent long telegram, paid,
telling the sad story of my life to the sta
ton agent and asking him to look for the
umbrella and send IL on to me at nv At
lantic City hotel.
That was a chunk of worldly wisdom for
which l still give myself all the credit that's
coming. but 1t didn't satisfy me, for at Phil
adelphia | mailed to my sister in Washing
ton special-delivery letter l had written
on the train, requesting her to start q life
saving expedition for my lost property. and
l inclosed So TO help the good work along
When l struck Atlantic City l made a
wild dash for the nearest telephone booth
and got the Washington B. and o. station
agent on the long-distance wire. He then
informed me that he had found the umbrel-
la and forwarded 1t to me at my Atlantic
City hotel, and had teiegraphed me to that
effect, collect.
So there | was, with my umbrella all
right. but out the cost of two kilograms
one long one-a two-cent and a special de-
livery stamp, and the tolls for a long-dis-
lance ephone message, when the first
telegram had done the work