davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05
HOME NEWS WHILE AWAY.

Subscribers OF the State Journal
sway during the summer may have
the paper mailed regularly each day
to any address at the rate OF ten cents
q week or thirty cents a month (by
mail only. Address changed as often
as desired. While out of town the
State Journal will be to you like a
daily letter from home.
Advance payment is requested on
these short time subscriptions. to save
bookkeeping expense.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05
FROM OTHER PENS
METAPHOR MIXED.

The suggestion. of the City Club of
New York that a gardener should be ap-
pointed to care for the parks moves the
Times to say that If this is not checked
at once We will have manufacturers and
Importers drafting a tariff, and the
chamber of commerce and American
Bankers association amending the cur
rency laws, while the president is busy
with the nature takers and the mothers
meetings. The thin edge of the wedge
should be nipped in the bud.-Boston
Traveller.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
IFrom the New York Press.l

IFrom the New York Press.l
A woman admires her husband
from a sense Of duty.
The cheaper advice is to get the more
1t costs you to follow It.
A woman thinks having q good figure
depends on her admitting It.
When a girl tells her mother OF
man who tried to kiss her it's sign IL
isn't true.
A man can't help adrliring the pretty
CLONES a woman wears unless he pays
for them.
The reason & woman can always fool
a man Is she is never SO stupid as to
try to do it with her brains.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05
His Lullaby.

"Our seashore hotels, with their pa
per-like walls, afford strange revela-
fions Of married life," said Henry E.
Dixey at a dinner.
.At one of these hotels I heard a
married man in the next room to mine
crawl into bed, settle himself among
the pillows, and then say to his wife:
Now, WHEY, start up your curtain
lecture or else / shan't get to Sleep"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05
ABOVE AND BELOW.

With Secretary Taft above the st.
Lawrence and Secretary Root below the
Rio Grande, the administration will
have two able workers engaged. Mexi-
can President Diaz and Canadian Secrc-
tary of State Scott will not put up all
the stakes and rails, when it comes to
mending the fences.-Worcester Even
ing Gazette.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05
Her walk in Life.

A woman who once wore a pedom-
eter to find out how much walking she
did in the house discovered, that under
the most favorable conditions she trav-
eled 7.3S miles daily in her household
tasks If the SO la per cent Of I'M
necessary steps. or Pas rallies of daily
travel, had been added, she would
have walked in one year IL doing her
household work more than $500
nniles.--Delineator.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

About this complaint of Mr.. Bryan's
that Roosevelt steals his thunder:
Isn't it a fact that Bryan simply
thinks he sees it first, while Roosevelt
beats him to it?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05
a TLATTERING -IILUsIoN.

thank you for the flowers you sent. she
said,
And then she pouted. blushed and droop-
ed her head
Forgive me for the words I spoke last
night;
The flowers have sweetiy proved that you
are right.
Then forgave her. took her hand in
mine,
Sealed her forgiveness with the old. old
sign;
And as we wandered through the dim lit
bowers
I wondered who had really sent the flow
erS.
New York Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

The management of the Lincoln
Park Chautauqua evidently knows
how to make it a success. 1t is using
advertising space in thirty newspapers
IN its territory this week.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

In spite of the pessimistic proph-
ecies of hard times coming, the
commercial agencies say ''jobbers are
preparing for a winter trade seldom
equaled." Same old prosperity story.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

But If the insurance trust in Kan
eas is smashed, does it mean that in
surance rates will greatly increase. as
paper prices did after the paper trust
was dissolved?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

The Salina Journal rises to protest
against this knock on Rameses II. 1t
argues that Mr.. Rameses only wanted
to see his name in print, a trait which
many another man possesses but
which does not bring down condemna-
ton on their heads
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05
HUMOR OF THE DAY

HUAOR OF THE Day
Reporter whipping out his notebool)--
| There's one two things I'd like to find
out about the. case now on trial. DO
you
sir. I'm one Of the expcrts.-Chicaso Tri-
bune.
-Caller-rd think that your fathers .du-
| ties as building inspector would be awful
" dangerous, going round unsafe build
Small Son Of the House-oh, no; he
| doesn't &c. near 'em TIL after they fall
down..-Life.
How fat that Miss caithorDe is get
merely My Ses she fnc .sf u II f9are
Haven't you heard that her father re;
dollars in a cotton deal?''-Chicago Rec
ord-HeraId.
IT figure that advertising costs me a
couple OF thousand collars q year more
what are you talking about? You
mo. but the department stores do; and
my wife has the bargain habit."-PhilR-
deIphia Press.
Landlady-rm sorry to say. sir, that the
Lodger-Tna not surprised. 1t has been
so very weak lately.-strana.
These are the wistful days" remarked
the sentimentalist
Bridge or antiquated?" inquired the
woman who plays.-Cleveland Plain
Dealer
guments with me-
Always in the right, eh?"
"Oh. no; she's hardly ever in the right.
Houston Post.
Judge Bluegtass-ColoneI Gore. let me
Introduce friend, Colonel Blood.
Colonel Gore-Delighted to meet you.
thing red?Mchicas % 3Hh me- "
Papa-1 never told lies when was a
Willie-When did you begin. papa?-
SlovO. t--4
Cholly (enthusiastically)-She is forever
smiling upon me.
She-Awfully polite girl Everyone else
laughs outrtght.-Puck.
Blox-There's great Joy in our family.
Friend-What happened?
first two teeth.-Detroit Free Press.
MolIy-when you spoke to father did
you tell him you had 800 in the bank?
Moiiy-And what did he say7
George-He borrowed it.-Sketchy Bits.
What was the cause of this rumpus?''
asked the judge.
Well you see. Judge" replied the po-
there are married."
Yes. yes, l know. But what other
cause?;-Cleveiand Press.
Bother this tailor! He comes every
week with his bill. 1 should like to kill
him.
well; try paying him; I'm sure he
The trouble with that ta1kative person
is that he frequently contradicts himself"
After listening to some of the things
he says, replied Miss Kayenne, ut seems
rather screditable that he should."-Tit-
Bits.
Mrs Tyresum- Kawler-I've got TO do
some house-hunting today. Can you give
Mrs. Nabur-Oh. yes. The competition
is keen now. You want to get right at It,
Chicago Tribune.
Young Blood-Doctor. what is meant by
the exaggerated ego?
.Doctor-That. my boy. is what you had
that time you tried to buck the stock mar
ket.-Detroit Free Press.
Tommy, you come right in the house
play with that Clifford boy?''
I'm not playing with him. nav I'm
lickin' the tar out o. himi'-Chicago Trf-
bune.
HE is a man of lofty ideals
Perhaps" answered Senator Sorghum
although a man sometimes gets credit
for lofty ideals when he is merely holding
out for high price. Wa shington Star
WAS Hamlet insane?"
mo doubt at all about it,
You seem positive"
''Well. he killed a man, didn't he?''-
Pittsburg Post
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

Still, II the Southern Railway had not
disobeyed that North Carolina rate law,
the country at large would never have
heard Of Governor Glenn.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

1t is reported that Orchard will re-
pudiate his confession. As long as the
Haywood jury disbelieved it, perhaps he
thinks his own jury will also.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05
A Needed Official.

In an interesting paper NJ. Moure
and M. Bouyer relate the extraordi-
nary care which the Emperor Nero
took of his voice. At night Nero lay
on his back with a thin plate of lead
on his stomach. He abstained from
fruits and all dishes which could hurt
his voice. In order not to damage
the purity of its sound he ceased har-
arguing the soldiers and the senate.
He attached to his service an officer
specially deputed to take care of his
voice He talked only in the presence
of this singular official, who warned
him when he spoke too loudly or
forced his voice, and If the Emperor.
carried away by some sudden At of
passion, did not listen to his remon-
strances it was his duty to stop his
mouth with napkin.-Modern Medi-
cine,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

The motor car on railways is gain
ing decided ground. The Union Pa
cific has ordered a hundred new cars
OF this type and will use them in place
of steam passenger trains on all lesser
branch lines.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

There is complaint in the east that tn,
launching of the Taft boom was as,
awkwardly done" Perhaps, but mos
people did not notice ii.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05
IN TRAINING.

The president is reported to be study
ing birds with an opera glass prepare
tory to the fall nature campaign-Chi-
cago Inter Ocean.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

It would not be surprising If all
newspapers are yellow journals over
in Japan, cosidering the color of the
Monaghan race.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

The ex-emperor of Korea appears to
have learned some twentieth century
methods. He drew about 100000 from
the public treasury and put it down in
the farthest corner of is private pocket
lust before he abdicated.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

You will note that even the Idaho
authorities have not sufficient faith in
Harry Orchards reformation to let
him go where he pleases.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

If Attorney General Jackson sue
ceeds in smashing the insurance trust
and present indications are that he
Wilt will be another long brilliant
plume in his cap.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

After lounging away the first two
weeks of his vacation on the farm a
Georgia student received rather insist
ent notice one morning that the car
rage needed washing. Finding a tub
full of water near the pump, he pro-
ceeded to ask whether 1t might be
used for his purpose.
Jim" he said to one of the old
darkies on the place, what do they
use that tub for ?"
at don't know, Marse George" re-
piled the negro, ''jes zactly what dey
do use dat tub foh.''
ooh, pshaw, Jim,'' said George, i'm
periously. Been here whole year,
and don't know what the tubs for?
What do they do with it?'
"Well, massa,'' said Jim, at his wits
end, 81 reckon dey jest uses dat tub
fob to keep water in fob to keep 1t
from eakin'."-Harper's Weekly.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

rate established. on. O. minimum number
OF calls. The new method has awakened
protests from the public
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

And yet Korea never kept any poo
little Japanese children out of he
schools.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05
NOT A NATURE FAKE.

Bloomfield, ILL.,, has a dog that talks
over the telephone and all the large
cities have pigs that ride on the street
cars.-Galveston News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

We are having many extremes of heat
and cold this summer. Isn't the season
trying to be a trifie spectacular?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

That $29,OOO,OO0 fine is enough to
make even the hair on Mr.. RockefeI-
Ier's wig curl.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05
His Little Game.

He was attired in immaculate even
| Ing dress, but was maudlin1y drunk.
He didn't look like a rounder. He sug-
gested more a prosperous business
man out for an unaccustomed even
| ing's frolic. With his opera hat tilted
at perilous angle over his left eye
brow, he took up his stand outside a
Broadway restaurant ard solicited
aims with all the effrontery of the pro-
fessional panhandler. The restaurant
was filled with the usual after-theater
crowd. and naturally the man with the
jag aroused considerable curiosity
among those who were passing in and
out. With tears in his voice he begged
little assistance for a poor, homeless
wanderer. Some passed on with a
smile, others paused and laughingly
handed him a dime or a nickel.
Finally a severe looking young man
sociological conditions engaged the in
ebriated one in conversation. How
does it happen" he asked gravely,
| that a man Of your caliber, evidently
a gentleman. should be asking aims on
the public highway"
Got a wife an shixteen small chill
dren to sport" was the reply.
"Nonsensei" retorted the severe
looking young man. whats your
gane?"
The man with the jag gazed cum
ningly at the other as though to salts
fy himself that his secret was safe,
and then whispered: Fact is, OF chip.
m drunk. Mebbe you wouldn't s'pect
1t. but IN drunk DON give we way,
there's good fellow. Been dallyin'
with f1owfn' bowlsh. Dead broke.
Mush have Turkish bath No money
for Turkish bath. Gotta shober up.
'Portant business 'gagament in morn
IN Gimme III 'sistence help get Turk
ish bath, theresa good fellow"
At this juncture an officer appeared
: 6A = T1l L
gentleman who craved a Turkish bath.
New York Times.
How Burbank Grasped Opportunity.
Luther Burbank's early life in Cali
fornia was attended by many hard ex-
perlences.. He was very poor, and was
obliged to take any work that came to
hand. He cleaned out chicken coops,
helped in market gardens, got an odd
Job here and another there, passed
through very severe Illness, went ION
the tramp for work until finally he
was able to start a little nursery on
his own account. Then he was on his
own ground with fair start. To out
working young fellow. who might
make his living, but not much more.
Then, all at once, he did something
that made those who knew about it
look at him. An order came for 10000
young prune trees. Could he fill it in
nine months? He hadn't prune tree
on his place, and how was he going to
supply 10000 in nine months? He got
together all the men and boys he could
find to plant almonds for him. They
grew rapidly. When they were ready,
he had 10000 .prune buds ready for
them, and in Al short time the sprunes
were budded- into the growing al
monds, and before the time was UP
the trees were delivered to the de-
lighted ranchman. And 1 have seen
these 10000 prune trees. They are
growing today. and it is really one of
the finest orchards in California.-The
August Circle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

The Ohio Republican state commit
tee evidently enjoys riding in the Taft
band wagon.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

The Rockefeller family will be less
able than ever to afford oysters now.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05
GOOD SHOT!

One of the most thrilling of the fish
stories Is that of an officer of German
steamer which arrived in New York yes
terday, who was knocked insensible
while shaving by flying fish that wing
ed it's way through one of the portfolios.
Boston Transcript.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05
WEARYING WORK.

The mayor of New York has started
on long vacation. Dodging the effort
to have fair count of the vote whereby
he claims to have been elected has been
fatiguing.-Ruffa1o Commercial.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

Still, the Haywood presidential boon
does not appear to make much head
way.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State Journal is a member of the
Associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report of that great news or
ganization for the exclusive afternoon
publication in Topeka.
The news Is received in The State Jour
nal building over wires for this sole pur-
nose
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05
HOME COMFORTS.

One reason your own porch is so cool
is because you don't have to chase
around in the heat to get there.-Indian-
apolis Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05
MAN AND MARS.

Having decided that Mars is inhabit-
ed by human beings. it is now import
ant to settle if we go to Mars after we
die here or vice versa. This would give
line on the sort of folks who live there
and the climate.-Duluth News Trib-
une.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05
LABOR AND LoAFERs.

The reported scarcity of the labor sup
ply is toupled with the usual abundance
Of the loafer supply.-Milwaukee SEN
tinel.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05
WE HAVE CHANGED ALL THAT.

WE HAVE CHANGED ALL THAT.
The ancients thought the world was flat,
And right they were;
There's not a bit OF doubt % that.
/ must aver.
They had no bridge. benighted dubs!
No brainstorn1s then:
They had no cigarettes or CLUBS
Like modern men.
They had no chorus girls. no graft;
No car ahead.
They had no Foraker. no Taft,
No valiant Ted.
They had no mergers in their day.
No rye gin.
They thought the world was flat, and. say,
1t must have been.
Louisville Courier-Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05
BOUND 10 30 FOUND.

discovered in England, after nearly 300
years. 1t is difficult to see how the
bones of Adam are much longer to
escape the Unsuitable explorer.-Provi-
dence Evening Bulletin.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

Reporter (whipping out his Notebook
There's one or two things I'd like to find
out about the. case now on trial DO
you,
Dignified Party-I don't know anything.
sir. I'm one of the expcrts.-Chicaso Trt-
bune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

Blox-There's great Joy in our family.
Friend-What happened?
Blox-My wife's pet puppy has cut his
first two teeth.-Detroit Free Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

Molly-When you spoke to father did
you tell him you had $500 in the bank?
George-Yes
Molly-And what did he say7
George-He borrowed it.-Sketchy Bits.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

Caller-Td think that your fathers du-
ties as building inspector would be awful
" dangerous, going round unsafe build
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

MY wife IS always victorious in her ar
guments with me-"
Always in the right, eh?'
"Oh. no; she's hardly ever in the right"
Houston Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

Landlady-rm sorry to say, sir, that the
coffee is exhausted.
Lodger-In not surprised. 1t has been
so very weak lately.-Strana.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

asked the judge.
well you see. judge" replied the po-
liceman. this man here and that woman
Yes yes. 1 know But what other
cause?''-Cleveland Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

Cholly (enthusia stically)-She is forever
smiling upon me.
She-Awfully polite girl. Everyone else
laughs outright.-Puck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

Judge Bluegfass-Colonel Gore. let me
introduce my friend, Colonel Blood.
Colonel Gore-Deiighted to meet you.
Colonel. Will you Join me in-er-some-
thing red?-Chicago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

Papa-I never told lies when was a
boy. Willie.
Willie-When did you begin, papa?-
Slovo. t
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

Small Son of the House-Oh, no; he
doesn't go near 'em till after they fall
down..-Life.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

These are the wistful days. remarked
the sentimentalist.
Bridge or antiquated?" inquired the
woman who plays.-Cleveland Plain
Dealer
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

1T figure that advertising costs me q
couple of thousand dollars year more
than I can afford"
what are you talking about? You
don't advertise"
mo, but the department stores do, and
my wife has the bargain habit. "-Phila-
deIphia Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

How fat that Miss calthorDe Is get
ting"
merely possesses q fine, full figure.
Haven't you heard that her father re-
Gently made several hundred thousand
dollars in a cotton deal?"-Chicago Rec
ord-HeraId.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

Bother this tailor! He comes every
week with his bill. I should like to kill
him."
well. try paying him. I'm sure he
would die of surprise. "-Illustre Amusant.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-08-05

Young Blood-Doctor. what is meant by
the Exaggerated ego?
Doctor-That my boy is what you had
that time you tried to buck the stock mar
ket.-Detroit Free Press.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1907-05-13

Let me mail you free, to prove
merit, samges of my Dr.. Shoop, 5
Restorative and my book on either
dyspepsia, The Hart or Tim Kidneys.
Adressme, Dr. Shoop Racine Wis.
Troubles of the Stomach, heart or Kid
heys, are merely symptoms OF deeper
ailment. Cont make thu common er-
ror of treating symptoms only. Sym
pton areatmen is treating the result
of your ailment and not the cause.
Weak Stomach nerves-the Inside
refreshments Stomach weakness
always, and the heart and kidneys as
well, have their controlling or inside
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1907-05-13
RESULT OF SPECIAL ELECTION

The result of the special town
lection held at the town hall
Thursday for the purpose ofvot-
ing to bond the town for $24,
900, for the completion of the
dam at Otter Rapids, was car
ried by a large majority The
vote being III for and ri
against bonding.
1t is very gratifying to the
people that wish to see the dam
completed to know that there
will be no stop to the work and
with one side-completed and the
fine weather we are having now
an early completion Of the work
can be looked for.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1907-05-13

Just as comparative quiet
spreads its soothing poultice Der
the noisy scene somebody gets
10 and asks q dis turbing quest
ion. Thus woman wants to
know Of the Brooklyn Eagle
what those who would pension
the school teachers are going to
do for the mothers of the coun-
try. She says, II am the moth
er of a large family. / have
brought up my children TO be
useful members of the state.
What IS New York going to do
for re or for any like me? l
have worked harder than the
teachers all my life. Fair play
is the teachers plea. Who will
rlegislate a pension for the moth
er of, say, six children? The tax
payers certainly will be more
willing to take care of the moth
ers than to overpay the teachers
who are no mothers and never
intend to be mothers. Of course
there isn't much to say in reply
TO this, except perhaps, that the
faithful teachers have helped
this faithful woman make her
children useful. Perhaps not
only teachers, but all faithful
Woodworking women, and also
all faithful and Woodworking
men should be pensionrd.