Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1907-10-04

Subscriber in finding his favorite To-
cal newspaper in good condition, and
in the delightful manner i'll which he
will praise and advertise the journal
i'll question.
\ person who has lived in a large
city for some time imagincS himself
lost on Il deserted island, when sud
denly called on business to reside in
a small town for while. He misses
the rattle and bang of noisy city,
yet the sight Of the long-forgotten
COW, and the clang of the cowbell.
coupled with pretty fields and the
music from feathercd SongsterS, more
than repay for the forced absence.
Mark Twain has horse sense. He
knows he is too old to pilot steamer
on the Mississippi river without risk
ing the lives of Teddy and his assoc
iates, and declined to attempt it.
Mark is no hog. He knows when he
has enough, and knows that his eyes
have grown DINNER as years have
passed away, since he footed the
whistle, rs master of river steamer,
and sat at the head of the table
Yes, indeed, Mark, old boy, has
horse-sense," and plenty of it.
Have you ever noticed the frequent
notices that appear in the papers of
men warning the public not to trust
their wives? AS general thing
this is a publicity that is cowardly.
Whu do thn hn
tables and caution the public against
their spendthrift husbands, who go
into all kinds of excesses, gambling,
drinking and what not? If the wo-
men were custOdianS of the purse,
matters would be evenly adjusted
and less debts would be- contracted
as general thing. Wives some
times earn all the money that they
spend, and more. OF course there
are exceptions. | would like, how
ever, to see the women pluck up Suf-
ticient courage to caution the public
against their spendthrift husbands.
1t would be the dawn of n new era.
The Captain of tramp steamer in
Seattle who during the night had be-
came very much intoxicated, while
taking in the sights of the Queen
City, arrived at the Post LnteiIigencer
building in the I'VE sma' hours" of
the morning. a few minutes after the
paper had gone to press. Looking
down in the basement at the fast
moving machinery for brief period,
he turned to a gentleman who, also,
was viewing the great presses as
they rapidly printed the paper, and
said: Shay, have heard (hic) of
Se-Se-attle having graf-graf (hic)
graftrrs and thicl thieves. who-who
(hic) had more gall (hic) and nerve
than (hic) the-the largest brass
monkey (hic) ever manufactured (hic)
but-but (hic) | did not suppose the
(hic) bloody blo-blO (hic) blooming
dev-dev (hic) devils would board
my-my (hic) boat and steal (hic) the
bloody, blooming, blawsted engines,
don nt-cher-knOw?"
Gee! How Vice-President Butter
milk Fairbanks can handle the Jolly.
One would naturally suppose that a
man whose favOrite drink is butter
milk, would not feel like peddling a
bunch of hot-air, as did Butter
milk Charlie" at the Michigan con-
ference of the Methodist Church, in
Albion, Mich, Sept. IA. But the
following is what the Methodist
Sky Pilots swallowed, bait, hook and
line: AS l walked up the street
this morning" declared Fairbanks
(probably full up to the neck with
buttermilk) from the depot with
this great band of Methodist soldiers
marching arm in arm, thought if,
in the New Jerusalem, there is any
one entitled to be nearest the throne.
it is the Methodist minister" O
fudge! No wonder Charlie drinks
buttermilk. No other liquid would
allow Charles stomach to remain
peaceful long enough to let such hot
air escape from his body. Take an
other drink of buttermilk, Charlie,
and hand 'em another bunch.