The Dickinson press., 1907-04-13
brocation and make clear the ract that
the former stateroom compares In no
way with the present .anarfment

tho former stateroom compares In no
way with the present apartment.
Complaints az to food come to the
purser through the chief steward for
dnal adjudication, and II IN the galley
there are signs Of dissatisfaction or
unrest he must enter the realm Of pots
and pans and argue with the two as
Esistant cooks. 1t may be. until they
shake hands or ut, least promise not
TO allow their personal jealousies to In
tsrfere with their culinary duties until
they reach port.
They do tell q story Of a purser who,
IN arranging for the usual Wednesday
night entertainment, offended two
prima donnas-one a queen Of .Wag-
merriam and the other an empress OF
light opera-by assigning the principal
place on the programme to the pride,
lot English %burlesque. It may have.
been that the purser. being a Britisher,:
was swayed by patriotic emotion to
such a degree as to veil the necessity.
Of handling a problem manifestly deli
cate with the usual Machiayellian
adroitness Of his craft. At all events.
the mistake soon became apparent.
The exponent of Wagner sulked N
her cabin, coming delicious Teutonic
swear words. Some one, taking her
side, said something In the presence
Of, the English beauty, and there was
o hiatus In that entertainment or IN
the plans for that entertainment which.
made plenty Of small talk and no small
amount Of large talk, for the matter OF
that. The. captain sent for the purser,
who already knew more about the sit
uation than the master did, explained
the situation and then proceeded to the
bridge, a tacit suggestion that he was
paid to run the ship and not toasettle
fool contretemps between fool women.
In other words, 1t was, the purser's
move In this game Of emotional chess.
The purser moved. He went to the
burlesque favorite and dictated a letter
which she between sobs OF rage wrote.
Then the purser borrowed from the
conservatory a bouquet Of the most
beautiful flowers he could pick and
sent them, together with. the note, to
the room OF the operate queen. The
purser has this note now. AS nearly
as the writer remembers It reads some
thing asg follows:
Ny Adorable ana Gifted Mrs. Nit Is
not; for.sme to- assufne5th esplace.sofah honor
on the programme tomorrow ni9ht when
this vessel abides the queen Sc an
song. Accept these flowers! Accept my
love! Accept my request to appear wher-
ever on the programme may please your
fancyi Peccayti G~esundheit! Prosit Tor
something Of the sortl. At thy feet be-
lieve me, {. ELSIE BONBoN.
or course the celebrated protagonist
Of heavy opera accepted the flowers,
sent her love, her thanks, her es-
TEEN, and asked-nay, begged-that she
be allowed to r%elinquish the honor
cast ct her feet. The burlesque queen,
need It be said, appeared In the place
to which the programme assigned her.
This man, as will appear. Is no SLOUGH
Of q purser.
Pursers are born, not made. They are
selected by steamship companies with
special eye to the duties they are called
upon 10 perform. "a large line. such as
the North German Lloyd line, for. In
stance, o. the Hamburg line, selects q
man for the position and puts him to
work in the purser.s department with
the title Junior assistant purser. Above
him there 10 the assistant purser, who
10 IN line % soon as vacancy shall oc-
cur for the omce OF purser on n Of