davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1907-11-01
A Russian Pastime.

If the human jaws need some occu-
patton in the intervals of meals and
gossip. says Health Culture, mastica-
tors could learn Il lesson from the
peasants of southern Russia, who eX-
ercise their teeth on the hard seeds Of
the Caspian smhower. There is not Il
suspicion of stimulant about it, no
chewing gum dyspepsia or navy plug
nuisance. 1t is Il pastime and Incl
dentally an excellent dentifrice. In
Astrakhan n pint of the requisite seeds
can be bought for Il quarter of penny.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1907-11-01
Lost His "Mr."

For man of mature years to have
the distinction of Mr.. removed from his
name would no doubt be Il severe pun
ishment. Yet this was what the Pu-
ritans inflicted on Josias Plaistowe, and
all because he stole four baskets of
corn from the Indians. And then after
poor Joslas was Mister no longer the
hard hearted founders of Massachu-
sets were not satisfied, but fined him
Is and made him return eight baskets
Of corn to the offending red men in
place of the four he had taken-Min-
neapolis Journal.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1907-11-01
FALLING OFF A BICYCLE.
Mark Twain's Story of the Way He
Established a Record.

1t seems a good while ago. l must
have been rather young for my age
then, for l was trying to tame an old
fashioned bicycle nine feeA high. 1t is
to me almost unbelievable at my pres
ent stage Of life that there have really
been people willing to trust themselves
upon a dizzy and unstable altitude like
that, and that | was one of them.
Twichell and l took lessons every day.
He succeeded and became master Of
the art of riding that wild vehicle, but
l had no gift in that direction and was
never able to stay on mine long enough
to get any satisfactory view Of the
planet. Every time l tried to steal a
look at pretty girl or any other kind
of scenery that single moment of mat
tention gave the bicycle the chance it
had been waiting for, and l went over
the front of it and struck the ground
on my head or back before l had time
to realize that something was happen
ing. l didn't always go over the front
way. | had other ways and practiced
them all. But no matter which way
was ClChCH lNll iuc lllcIC was al" dy
one monotonous result-the bicycle
skinned my leg and leaped up into the
air and came down on top of me.
Sometimes it's wires were so sprung by
this violent performance that it had
the collapsed look of an umbrella that
had had a misunderstanding with cy-
clone. After each days practice l ar
rived at home with my skin hanging
in ribbons from my knees down: 1
plastcred the ribbons on where they be-
longed and bound them there with
handkerchiefs stepped in lotions and
was ready for more adventures next
day. 1t was always Il surprise to me
that l had so much skin and that 1t
held out so we'll. There was always
plenty, and 1 soon came to understand
that the supply was going to remain
sufficient for all my needs. 1t turned
out that had nine skins, in layers,
one on top of the other like the leaves
of book, and some Of the doctors said
it was quite remarkable.
l was full Of enthusiasm over this
insane amusement. My teacher was q
young German from the bicycle fac
tory, gentle, kindly, patient creature
with a pathetically grave face. He
never smiled; he never made remark;
he always gathered me tenderly up
when I plunged off and helped me on
again without word. When he had
been teaching me twice a day for
three weeks 1 introduced new gym
fore-and so at last compliment was
wrung from him, thing which had
been risking my life for days to
achieve. He gathered me up and said
mournfully "AIr. Clemens, you can fall
off bicycle in more different ways
than any person 1 ever saw before"
From Mark Twain's Autobiography
in the North American Review,
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1907-11-01
SOME cURIoslTI6s. :
Different Lengths OF MiIe-How a
Rood Was Determined.

The standard yard prevails through
out the United Kingdom, but the
lengths of the English, Scotch and Irish
mile is different in each, which is the
and American miles are identical. But
the occasional local variations in our
English acre are even more remark
able. These We're perhaps originally
due to the inexactitudes Of ancient
land surveying, which was compare
lively of such a free and easy descrip-
ton that the acres of neighborlng coun-
ties. not to say adjacent parishes,
sometimes varied.
\ book published in the reign of Ed
ward VI. gives the following curiously
naive instructions on the subject:
stand at the door Of church on Sun
day and bid sixteen men to stop, tall
ones and small ones, as they happen
to pass out. Then make them put their
left feet one behind the other, and the
length thus obtained shall be right
and lawful rood to measure the land
WILL anu lue SlAlcclllu pau VI II oholl
be Il right and lawful foot"
This is almost laughable, but we have
only to apply to one of the older die
tionaries to find that anything like ex-
actneSs, whether of definition or of
fact, is quite modern scientific de-
velopment. And the story Of the acre
is a case in point. 1t was supposed to
have been reduced to a common stand
ard in 1860, but it was not until 1924
that we enacted the statute acre Of
1910 square yards.
With the loose system of measure
ment prevailing for the greater part of
that the 50 called "acre" was too often
what the local wiseacres happened to
make of it. By long use and wont 1t
seems probable that the discrepancies
thus arising occasionally crystallized
into customs, of which some examples
still survive. A Welsh acre was for
merly twice as large as an English one,
while Scottish acre is larger than
ours by more than 1000 square yards.
According to authority, there are
seven different measures still in use
by which the acre may be variously
defined. Lancashire has within her
borders acres measured on a custom
airy local scale, while the so called
Cheshire acre is even larger than that
Of it's Welsh neighbor.-London Globe.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1907-11-01
The Case of Emergency.

While on the march in India the pio
neer corporal of famous Irish regi
ment went to the quartermaster for a
loan of Il camel to carry Il spare tent
but the quartermaster refused, saying
II have only the cart. and this spare
camel l am keeping for case of emer
gency."
The corporal said Cant you put the
case of emergency on the cart, sir, and
LEI me have the camelT'-Red Letter.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1907-11-01
Where Cain kiIIed Ahal.

While cycling round Kettering was
startled to see what appeared to me to
be two men fighting in field. On
reaching the field dismounted and
climbed over the fence to see what it
was and discovered 1t was stone
statue representing Cain Staying Abel
1t is unique. Cain has one knee press
ing Abel to the ground and one arm
uplifted ready to strike. The statue
must be hundreds of years old. and
is supposed to be on the exact spot
where the murder was committed
London Tit-Bits.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1907-11-01
Pretty Eccil-u!.

It a village churcA Wediing was
fixel for certain date. The happy
morn arrived. ana in due course ii
youthful swain ami f2ice ladye pre-
scented themselves at the chan2el steps
rhe service proceeded smoothly as far
rs the question, wilt thou have this
woman to be thy welded wife,"
Whereupon the supposed bridegroom
stammercd blushingly:
please, sir, I'm not the right man."
mot the right man." exclaimed the
clergyman, aghast. "Then where is the
right MANI"
Hes down at the bottom of the
church, sir He's asheeamed to come
up."-Church Family Newspaper.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1907-11-01
Why Shells Fly Straight.

Many people wonder why the cone
shaped projectiles in their flight
through the air do not wabble, but
drive straight ahead. This is easily
explained. Round the bottom of the
shell is narrow band of copper which
varies in width according to the size of
the projectile. Being made Of soft
metal. this band is cut by the steel
rifling of the gun on the shock of ex-
plosion. This action causes the shell
to revolve with lightning rapidity, with
the result that it keeps steady during
its fight through the air. - London
Mail.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1907-11-01
Leibnitz and the AIchemists.

Leibnitz one Of the great men of lit
erature, who died in 1716, wished tc
join society Of alchemists who were
prosecuting Il search for the philoso
piers stone, He compiled q letter
from the writings of the most cele
brated alchemists and sent it to the so
ciety. The letter consisted of the most
obscure terms he could find, and he
himself, he said. did not understand q
word of it. Afraid to be thought igno
rant, the society invited him to Its
meetings and made him secretary.-Ar,
gonaut.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1907-11-01
Wasteful lonoranee.

The ordinary waste of food in al
English middle class family would be
sufficient wholly to maintain a French
family of similar station, and the
waste of food is at least largely due
to the ignorance of cookery which pre-
walls among the classes from which
English domestic servants are derived
London Lancet.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1907-11-01
Did Know About That.

"The money market" Mr.. Wallace
began. with that superior air a man
assumes when he talks of public ques-
lions to his wife-"the money mar
Set'-
(Which reminds me-" Mrs. Wallace
interrupted.
Reminds you of what, womanp
THAT you haven't given me the
market money YETI
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1907-11-01
A Plausible Inference.

Miriam" said her mother, 'have
you ever given young Mr.. Stapleford
any reason to believe You cared for
him enough to marry him."
HE seems to think So" answered
the daughter, "because l told him the
other evening that he was sending me
too many costly flowers and ought to
begin to save his mcney."-Chicago
Tribune.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1907-11-01

McAlister-'Tis threepence I'm OWN
ia We, meenister. The fact is, I'm a
conscientious mon, and pit naethin'
in the plate on Sunday. The smallest
l had wi me was ii saxIence, and I
didna theenk the sairmon was up ia it.
Dundee Advertiser.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1907-11-01
His Choice.

A witty member of the legal profess
sion was once a guest at Il dinner re-
markable for its meagerness. The din
ing room had been newly and Splendid
~ furnished. Some of the guests con-
graduated the host on his taste in dec
grafton.
"For my part, 1 would rather see
less gliding and more carving" said
the wit.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1907-11-01
Makina a Distinction.

"Of course you know something
about that candidates political opln-
Ions?" said the trusty adviser.
II don't care rap about his opin-
IONS" answered Senator Sorghum.
How are his epigrams ?"-Washington
Star.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1907-11-01
Merely a SUGGESTION.

Wright-Ive tried everything, and
my novels don't seem to sell. Penman
Excuse me, but You have not tried
everything. You know, it is said that
Dickens novels sell four times better
than during his lfe.-Yonkers States
man.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1907-11-01

ooh, George" she exclaimed, ''now
that you've seen my new hat you sim
ply can't regret that 1 got it! Isn't 1t
just poem?"
"Well. if it is" replied John, II sup
pose a proper title for it would be
Owed to a Milliner.' philadelphia
Press
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1907-11-01
Retrihnfion.

Minister meeting Il small boy on
Sunday afternoon carrying a string Of
tish)-JOhnny. Johnny, do these belong
TO you? Johnny-Y-e-s, sir. You see,
that's what they got for chasing worms.
on Sunday.-Philadelph Inquirer.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1907-11-01
Would Like Il Very Much.

by the way" asked the waiter,
show would you like to have yom
steak?"
VERY much, indeed" replied the
mild man, who had been patiently
waiting for twenty minutes.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1907-11-01
Case In Point.

Miss Middleage-How true 1t is that
the older we grow the less we appre-
ciate the things that used to delight
us in childhood. Miss Pert-Yes, espe-
cially irthdays.-LOndon Tit-Bits.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1907-11-01

We ought not to look back unless It
is to derive come useful lessons from
past errors and for the purpose Of
profiting by dear bought experience
Washington
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1907-11-01
UnhealthY.

Man Ito n friend)-I am done with
doctors henceforth. One of them ad-
vised me to sleep with my windows
open. / did so, and the very next
morning my gold watch was gone from
the bureau.-Fliegende Batter.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1907-11-01
Not Her Business.

Husband 90 Another new dress.
Where do you suppose I shall get the
money from to pay for it? Wife--You
must excuse me. l didn't marry you
TO give you financial advice.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1907-11-01
A Painful Face.

"My face pains me, doctor. What
shall 1 do?" asked the patient.
I'm sure don't know" replied the
doctor. you know I have no way of
improving your looks"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1907-11-01
STRIKING Likeness.

81 want you to photograph me in n
striking attitude"
"Do you mean holding out your hand
asking for mOney?"-New York Press.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1907-11-01
The Continuous CHALLENGE.

Jimmy-Aw, no wonder yer kin lick
Me. Yer two years Older'n me. Nick
ey-Well, come round when yer as old
as me an I'll lick yer den too.-Judge.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1907-11-01
Admits He Was One.

Mrs. Henpeck-You acted like fool
when you proposed to me. Henpeck-
That wasn't acting, my dear.-Pear-
sons Weekly.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1907-11-01

TO be seventy years young is some
times far more cheerful and hopeful
than to be forty years old.-Holmes.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-22

WOULD ASSIST BATTERS.
"OutIawo UnEIauh Has "A New Idea
to Increase Heavy Hitting.
FIRST RACE-Six f1rlongs

Williamsport. Pa, Jan. H.-Unglaub,
the crack first sacller OF the Wnliamsp0rt
Tri-State Club, who was recently awarded
to the Boston Americans by the national
commission. has devised d rule which
would undoubtedly produce more long
hitting In ball games.
In order TO give the heavy hitter his due
advantage over the light hitter Unglaub
SAYS limit the outfelder 10 "A certain ter
ritOry. He suggests drawing an arc from
one field line to the other at a distance
of eighty yards from the home plate.
using the plate as a center. This will
give quarter circle, every point of which
is eighty yards from the home plate. Out
felders are 10 play on the inside of this
circle until after the ball has been hit by
batter. The batter who can drive the
bali lCO yards or more Will have an op-
portunity to get a long hit instead OF
having the feeders judge his hit and pull
it down at a point over 100 yards from the
plate by a phenomenal catch.
Unglaub says that the fault Of the pres
ent rules is that the long hitter has only
a slight advantage over the light hitter.
because nine times out Of ten the feeders
will judge the batter's manner Of hitting
and arrange themselves in the field TO
suit the occasion. This arc will give the
heavy hitter an opportunity 10 drive the
ball far into the deep field and get clear
hit for several bases
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-22
RUsSELL'S NEW IDEAS.
Graduate Coach Makes Changes in
GeOrgetOyvn'S Crew Policy.

Radical changes in the training policy
Of the Georgetown crew are being made
by Murray Russell. 'O5 the new gradu-
ate coach.
Coach Russell has introduced chest and
breathing exercises as a feature OF the
daily work, and in this innovation he has
the hearty support Of Prof Joyce. direc-
tor Of the gymnasium. Russell has also
announced that in the future regular
practice for every candidate will be COM
pulsory. As the men report they are be-
ing enrolled. and. with the exception OF
Friday, every member of the squad viii
be compelled to be present each day or
be dismissed from the squad.
Six new candidates have reported and
two Of the most promising candidates
have withdrawn Ralph la Compile. the
sturdy captain Of last years Prep crew,
declares that his studies Will force him TO
give I'D rowing. sgd" Mudd, twice q
member Of Poughkeepsie crews, who last
year could not row on account Of the
objections of his parents. is again con-
.r0nted with the same difficulty and may
not row this season. The new men who
have reported are Buckley and Tighe, OF
last falls football squad, Reilly, Fitz-
patrick. and Tom Stuart, Of the George
town class crews
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-22
CHICAGO WILL STICK.
MaroOnS VIII Not Be Influenced by
Micbignn's Action.

Chicago, Jan. Notwithstanding ac-
ton favoring a withdrawal from the Big
Nine" Chicago viii stand pat Many Of
the students would like TO see Chicago
and Michigan draw out together and
form some sort of a dual relationship
such as exists between Yale and Harvard
II is understood that no such action viii
be taken by the Midway faculty, which is
definite in its Intention 10 stay with the
conference. in spite of the fact that the
amendments which the last conference
cast out were initiated by Chicago, ana
that, taken altogether, Midway teams are
the hardest hit by the "Big-Nine" action
Chicago was beaten in the contest for
the reforms. but Will abide by the will OF
the ruling minority. say the same faculty
men who Endorsed the Maroon modifica-
tons unanimously when they were put
before them. They are letting Michigan
take the initiative. What action will be
taken by Chicago as a member OF the
big Eight that may be left is uncer-
tain
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-22
GOOD CARDS AT ASCOT.
The Major, at to 1. Wins the Open
ing Event.

Los Angeles, Jan. 21.-The feature OF
the racing at Ascot Park was in the
fourth race. which was "a handicap af-
fair for three-year-olds, and three
starters were scheduled to face the bar
rier usually weIl-fHed cards marked
the days sport. The Major. at TO /.
took first money in the initial race of
the day Elm King placed and I Told
You showed. The summaries:
FIRST. RACE-Selling; six frrl0ngs. The Major
IL lButwelu, 10 /, won Elm King. lG9 stark,
6 10 J. second; I Told You ll5 ik0emerl, - to /.
third. Time, Il47.. Ambitious. 5. '. Christian,
Rama Redwood II. and All Right also ran
SECOND RACE-Selling. seven fuTi0ugs Canopy,
90 .Hauisl 5 10 l. won; Uncle Henry, III fRul-
man. 20 l. second Taylor George. 10 ~. Riley
10 TO J. third. Time, 12sis Prince Magnet. C0til-
lion Lucrece, Gemiiner- Stoessel, and C. Walworth
also
THIRD RACE-Pive and one-haI furIongs. Gold
Sitter. los lkoerneri. % 2. won; Ampedo. "a
tKeutJ 6 20 l. second; 5. NuihoIand. q w
Kelly, % l. third Time. 1D7A BaleTiO g.
Zsl. 81. Edgar star u Runymede, Brennus and
Paul I also ran
FOURTH RACE Handicap; one mile. Lord stan
hope 100 tFinnl, % %, won san Alviso. l03
FISCHER. % l. second, Afiishora, l0l X. Riley
3 20 2 third Time, AZ 2-5.
FIFTH RACE-Five furlOngs. YaddO lG NC
Daniel, s to J. won; L. Fitzgibbou, ll2 tkoeruerl
Z 20 J. second Winter, I04 (Boandl. IS 20 !. third
Time %. Red Ball, Athena, Hazelin Chief sha-
yer f. b H.. Friendly. Clemenca, Elsie A., and
Arcadia Belle also ran
SIXTH RACE-One mile. Mandarin. Il2 CKeoughl.
s TO s. won; st. Aud0yer, 100 tW. Knapp even, sec
ond; Oratorian, l07 Fischer. 20 l, third. Time,
Iaa. Cadichou. Fl Otero, Lady Tosa. and CaTalina
also ran.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-22
BOASTS FOR MICHIGAN.
western Papers Say Iean Things
AbOut Wolverine Practices.

Tn, report that Dan Kelley, the 30
second sprinter or Oregon, is 10 enter the
University Of Michigan has called forth
some biting remarks from the press Of
other college towns Of the Middle West
whose colleges have met defeat at the
hands of the wolverines The latest IS
from Minneapolis paper which has
rather taken 10 heart the victories OF
Michigan over the University of Min
nesOta. and whicS relieves its soul as
follows:
Michigan has a great and attractive
course Of study that lures husky young
men away from the lights and the lure or
The cities to the calm. dispassionate life
in Ann Arbor with its box sOcials, candy
pullngs. Sunday school picnics, mis-
sionary teas. and kindred designations
In Ann Arbor the young man who smokes
cigars is looked UpGs IS a reckless young
devil, treadlng the broad path 10 eternal
regret. but still the town draws such
chaps as Willie Heston. who quit wicked
San Francisco for the pure. sweet life OF
Ann Arbor. and Brother Heston was soon
ripping up the football lines when Apostle
Yost led his band OF lofty-browed
scientists out Of the Ann Arbor sanctu-
airy to DO battle with the opponents.
Johnny Garrels, the best all-round
athlete in the West. is said 80 have been
living the riotous life Of a printers devil
in a Detroit type shop when Fielding Yost
induced him TO reform and become a
student of Keene Fitzpatrick and the
other great literary and scientific old
masters at Ann ArbOr. Michigan appears
20 be the educational magnet 10 draw the
young men of the land, especially the
broad shouldered and sinewy legged va
riety. The still. scholastic air Of Ann
ArbOr appeals 10 the weary athletic pill
grims who seek 10 find u resting place.
They may come in and attempt to eat
boiled beans with their knives and mas
degrade table napeTy 10 the common level
of the handkerchief. but the course of
study soon tames down any little dining
room barbarities such as stormy Jordan
pointed ont.
Michigan is doing a great and growing
educational work. She is the chocolate
caramel TO the buzzing athletic flies OF
the West who seek to cultivate their brain
as we'll as their Drawn. Vive Ia Ann
Arbor"
When the conference committee reads
/ this Michigan may reasonably expect 10
I lose a few more good athletes via reform
/ regulations.