davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1907-08-08
PTrTsRrrRG

TIIISbLhG. AL
enti, alias John r
Graziano, Italians,
IN the county jail
Cappabianca. an
Calirton. April =.
The Washington times., 1907-08-08
ADA-LUR-IEM nEDICINE co
TsS Sixth Ave. New York City.
SOLD and reoonmended byi

HENRY EVANS. sz2-s24 F St NV.
O'DONNELLS PHARMACIES. e0t T s. NV.
SD and NJ SITS. NV. Sd St and Pennsyl-
Vania ave Sc. 32d and . SITS NV.
STEVENS PHARMACY. Penn. ave. cor. 9Th.
OGRAMG DRUG STORE. Penn av.. cor. 18th
PEOPLES DRUG STORE. s24 7th St NV.
AFFLECK'S DRUG STORE I429 Penn. ave.
The Washington times., 1907-08-08
Delaware Resorts
Maryland Resorts.

HIGH VIEW HOTEL,
CHESAPEAKE BEACH, MD.
Good Board and Room. IS Per Week.
au2-7t
The Washington times., 1907-08-08
Nova Scotia Resorts.

DIGBY, N. S. 69EENBTK coITEBTN H6GgH-, H9TEb-
On beautiful Digby Basin. Fine boating,
bathing. fishing. golf. Average temperature.
so. Rates. 50 TO s12 per week.
ly12-3ot c. A. JORDAN. Proprietor.
The Washington times., 1907-08-08
Colonial Beach.

FOR RENT-Electric cottage. one square
from wharf; very heatf partly furnished.
ezz Ith st sS' auS-St
FURNISHED COTTAGES. $50 and s55
DICKHART. National Museum. GEO. MA
SON, Beach. Ru1-st
The Washington times., 1907-08-08
New Jersey Resorts.
ATLANTIC CITT.
GRAND ATLANTIC HOTEL

HOTEL, AND SANAT0RIUM.
ATLANTIC CITY
One OF the newest stone, brick. and steel
Buildings, with every comfort. always open:
always ready; always busy
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1907-05-17
No ANXIETY FELT
FOR YACHT SHARK

The Shark, the yacht which is bring
ing Jack London TO this city, has not
been sighted but there Is no anxiety
felt on this account. She is small
boat and according to the officers of
the steamers which have come in late
ly there has been very pleasant weather
but practically no wind. For this rea-
son 1t is assumed that the Shark is
probably drifting round on the Pa
cifc and waiting for breeze, while
in the meantime her owner is framing
new plots for his stories.
Capt. Feeder, of the Pacific Mail
Liner Siberia, stated that he had not
seen the Shark during his trip but this
is easily explained as the little yacht
would hardly take the steamer route,
or be close enough to it to be sighted,
unless she was within short distance
of this city.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1907-05-17
THE HENRIETTA DRAWS
ANOTHER GOOD HOUSE

The E1lefords presented 1.-THE Henri
eta again last night to houseful of
representative theater-goers, and all
were lavish in praise of both play
and players. Tonight and tomorrow
night the bill is 1.-THE Red Cross
Nurse a romantic story of the Spa
nish American war 1t bristles with
patriotism, and sensational features.
The comedy is very Imaginable and the
heart interest in the story is intense,
and holds the auditor. Several strong
scenes are introduced, including the
memorable charge of the Rough Riders
up San Juan Hill. It admits of pic
turesque dressing and all of the COM
pany appear in the cast. The Satur-
day matinee bill is the Southern conf
edy, 1.-THE Princess of Patches" There
are no murders, and not shot fired in
the bill and the little folks will be de-
lighted with the pretty story. The Os-
born children have new specially for
their little friends that will send them
home in a good humor, and make them
feel like studying harder at school next
week. Mr.. Lavigne and Matte Lloyd
Luce also have specialties at the ma
tinee that will delight all.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1907-05-17
DIED.

BOYD-In Seaforth, Ontario, Canada.
April 20, 1907, Margaret Boyd, widow
of the late John Thompson and
mother of Mrs. M. R. Counter. Ho-
nolulu; A. w. Thompson, Port Ar
thur, and Miss Jessie T. Thompson,
Seaforth.
COMPO-In San Francisco, May 9. 1907.
George L. Compo, dearly beloved
husband of Alice Lycett Compo, and
father of Merle Compo, native of
Quebec, Canada, aged Al years 10
months and 80 days. A member of
Crockett lodge No. 139, F. & A. NJ.
The late Mr.. Compo was well
known in Honolulu, having been en-
ployed in Kerr's shoe store. lie was
an Elk as well as a Mason. His
widow is daughter of James I,y-
cett of this city.
HINGLEY-At the Queens Hospital
Honolulu, May Is, 1907, Mrs. E. E.
Hingley. aged 35 years
Funeral at 10 o'clock this morning
from the residence, 1859 Liliha street.
Friends and acquaintance are re-
speetfully invited to attend.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1907-05-17

SADDLE and buggy horse for it's
keep, during the summer. Good
home, best care. Apply Box 443, City.
1929
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1907-05-17
LOST.
TRANSPORT SERv-CE.

Thomas, sailed from Honolulu for San
Francisco, May Z.
Buford, sailed from Honolulu for ORR
ent, May 9.
Sherman, due Honolulu from Manila,
May 80.
Sheridan, at San Francisco.
Dix, sailed from San Francisco for
Manila on April Q.
Logan, sailed from Honolulu for Ma
Mia, May IA.
Buffalo, sails from San Francisco for
Honolulu and Manila. about May q.
Warren, sails from San Francisco for
Honolulu, about June Is.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1907-05-17
THE MAILS.

Mails are due from the following
points as follows:
San Francisco-Per Alameda, May IS.
Or1ent-Per Doric, May rs.
Victoria-Per Manuka, June 1.
Colonies-Per Aorangi, MAY %.
Mails will depart for the following
points as follows:
San Francisco-Per Nevadan, today, 5
2. m.
Orfent-Per China, May "a.
Victoria-Per Aorangi, May 20.
Colonies-Per Manuka, June 1.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1907-05-17
SHIPPING INTELLIGENCE.
ARRIVED.

ARRIVED.
Thursday, May 16
P. M. S. S. Siberia, Feeder, from San
Francisco, SIS a. m.
S. S. Santa Rita. Common, from
Port Hartford, $3.50 a. m.
Str. Maui, Thompson, from Hawaii
ports, 3:15 a. m.
DEPARTED.
M, N. S. S. Hilonian, Johnson, for
San Francisco, 10 a. m.
Str. Niihau, Oness, for MakaWeli, 4
p. m.
Str. Mikahaia, Gregory, for Kauai
ports, p. m.
P. M. S. s. Siberia, Feeder, for the
Orient. 5 p. m.
Scr. Luka, Schlemmer, for Laysan Is
land, $50 p. m.
DUE TO-DAY. 'ap
Ketch Shark, Eames, from San Fran
cisco.
SAIL TODAY.
All. S. S. Nevadan, Greene, for San
Francisco, 5 p. m.
Str Claudine, Parker, for Hawaii and
Maui ports, 5 p. m.
Str. Mauna Loa, Simerson, for Ha-
wall and Maui ports, noon
PASSENGERS.
Arrived.
Per P NJ. S. S. Siberia, May Is, from
San Francisco.-For Honolulu: F. L.
Austin, Mrs. Edmund Baker, Mrs. N.
O. Bradley, Mrs. F. E. Burrell, Capt.
j. c. Garden, J. S. Clark, DR.. C. e.
Cooper, Miss Grace E. Cutting, Rev.
Warren F. Day, Mrs. Warren F. Day.
Miss Helen Eames, Miss Elizabeth
Eames, Mrs. G.. A. Giles, Mackenzie
Gordon, Mrs. r. P. Hall, w. P. Hop
kins, Mrs. A. B. Horner, Howard B.
Horner, James F. Morgan, George
Myers. H. Phillips, A. NJ Lumpkin.
Mrs A. r. Orr. Mrs H. Robinson, DR..
M. G. Peters, t. r. Robinson, A. T.
Robinson, S. Robinson, Mrs. Helen
Rowland, Miss Hazel Rowland, H A,
Schwartz, Miss E. Schnoor, Mrs. HI. A.
Schwartz, Lieut.. w. Henry Shea, c. B.
Sloan, AIRS. c. B. Sloan, Mrs. S. r.
Sloan, Miss Anna K. Smith, Miss L.
M. Varney, c. B. Weller, Mrs c. B.
Weller, Fl. E. Westervelt. Mrs. H. E.
Westervelt, Miss Helene Westervelt.
Miss Mildred Westervelt, w VOTERS.
j. K. Taylor
Departed.
Per P. Nj. S. S. Siberia, May Is, for
the Orient-Mrs. J. w. Martin and
daughter, Mrs. w. s. Fleming and
child, C. E. Ketelsen, r. Hoffman, A
Kuck, r. Wrigley, K. Isoshima.
Per str. Mikahala, May Is, for Kauai
ports-Mrs. C. A. Rice and children, A.
ley, w. c. Parke, C. H. Richards. Miss
d II
Corriston, J. w. Donald, Miss NJ. Kau-
haina, Mrs A. F. Linder, G. S. S.
Kenway, Quon Chew, Miss c. Cannon,
Miss L. Cannon, H. Cannon and wife, |
Walter Cannon, Eddie Cannon. Arthur |
Cannon, Albert MuGurn, Albin Kib- |
ling, j. K. Kapuniai, DR.. Peters.
Per scr Luka, May Is, for Laysan |
Island.-Mr Davis, Mrs. Walker.
VESSELS IN PORT.
(Army and Navy.
Iroquois. u. S. n. r., Carter, San Fran
cisco. May 8.
Manning. u. S. r. c., Joynes, Kamalo,
March 8.
(Merchant Vessels.)
Dirigo, Am. sp., Goodwin, San Fran
cisco. May z.
Helene, Am. scr, Thompson, San Fran
cisco, April 90.
Manga Reva, Am. sp., Townsend, San
Francisco, May Z.
Restorer, Br. SIS, Combe, Esuuimalt,
March 81.
Virginia, Br. s. s., Croker, Sydney,
May s.
Nevadan, Am. SIS, Greene, Kahului,
May 10. |
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1907-05-17
furnished
TRENT & COMPANY.
Classified Advertisements
WANTED.

TEACHER of choral singing; two
hours a day, five days in week-Sep-
TENDER to June. Inquire this office.
1929
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1907-05-17
FOR RENT

LARGE furnished room; mosquito
proof; electric light. Apply lib
Union street,
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1907-05-17
FOR RENT OR LEASE.

Premises on Kamehameha w. Road.
Kalihi, formerly the homestead OF the
late w II. Cummings. Area 22s
acres. There is large dwelling. ser,
wants quarters, stable and barn on
the premises. The property is laid
out with orange and other fruit trees.
An ideal suburban home. Apply at
Office Estate Of James Campbell.
1854 81 Merchant Street.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1907-05-17
FOR SALE.

Property on Waikiki corner Of Miller
and Beretania SIS. Two cottages on
the property. both rented. Good 8 per
cent investment.
Fine lot, Palolo Tract, 1900 "a. r..
next residence OF Mr.. r. ID. Mead.
House and lot. Kewalo Tract.
Lots. Puunui Tract.
Houses and Lots. Palama
Lots, Nvuanu Valley.
w. w. CHAMBERLAIN.
Room 2O7. Judd Building.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1907-05-17
FOR SALE.

Without interest and on easiest
terms. at half the prices heretofore Oh.
tanned. just a few more fine lots IN
Fernandez Tract. opposite Kameha-
meha Boys School. within five minutes.
walk Of car line; acknowledged 10 be
the best residence section OF whole Ka-
lihi.
Also at bargain prices. lots In other
portions of KalihL Kaimuki. Kapahulu.
Manoa and Nuuanu Valley.
Several bargains I'm large and small
houses in different parts OF the city ana
the suburbs.
FOR RENT,
in town, several neat six-room rot
tages. with or without gas stove. and
electric lights on veranda, and yard
taken care OF free OF charge, at SIG to
81 per month.
J. II. SCHNACK, 137 Merchant ST.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
Gift of Time.

"One day." related the jolly hobo, 81
met man on de street and 1 told him
if he would give me thirty quail would
show him how to eat dem in thirty
days"
"And did he oblige your asked his
companion of the ties.
mo; he said he couldn't give me
thirty quail, but he'd give me thirty
days. He was a Judge"
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
SIN Adams Fall"

Sunday School Teacher-Now, chill
dren, was Adam very happy in the Gar
den of Eden?
Chorus of Pupils-Yessum!
Teacher-And what great misfortune
happened which ended his happiness?
Children-The Lord made i'm a wife.
Cleveland Leader.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
Perhaps.

81 see that Chicago photographer
claims that his portrait of Dowie is
the largest photograph in existence"
But why should he make Dowie so
big?"
Perhaps he thought there'd be more
prophet in t."-Cleveland Plain Deal
er.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
Then and Now.

Goodness mer' exclaimed the woman
at the kitchen door. ''This is the second
time you have called here this week."
Z "Well, dat amt so worse" answered
the hungry hobo. ''Dere wuz a time
when me best girl kicked eff didn't show
up twice aday!"
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
Female Barber.

Samson was about to bring down tho
house.
"A strong man, indeed" remarked the
ancient king. 81 would like to get the
key to his wonderful strength"
az can get the key" replied Delilah,
"if / once get his locks" And procur-
ing q pair Of shears she gave the strong
man his first haircut.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
Work.

"Why don't you go to work "
Mister" said Flooding Pete, 'T've
talked for five minutes tryin' to tell
you a hard luck story that would win
a dime"
You have"
"An' if 1 kin hold yer interest, I'm
liable to keep on talkin' an den may
be not git a cent"
That's quite true"
well, mister, amt dat work.
Washington Star.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
A PrODOSal.

Miss Pechis-Mr. Dumley took me for
Vassar graduate the first time he met
me.
Mr.. Yerner-That's strange. That
isn't at all what 1 was inclined to take
you for.
Mis- Pechis-No? What then?
Mr.. Yerner-For better, for worse
Philadelphia Press.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
Great Applause.

81 hear that the handsome matinee
idol is carrying a side line
"Yes, he is getting a big salary
from gloye factory"
ga glove factory
"Sure! When the matinee girls be-
gin to applaud him uproariously he
holds up his finger for silence and
says: Young ladies, all who split
their gloves will please patronize Fit
TENS Glove Company
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
Naturally.

Patient-Well, doctor, do you think
I'm getting well all right?
Doctor-Oh, yes; you still have good
deal of fever, but that doesn't trouble
me.
"Of course not. If you had a fever It
wouldn't trouble me."-Le Journa! Anu.
SAINT.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
Easily Fixed.

Mrs. Hauskeep-All the big berries
are on the top of the box. 1 can see
that.
Huckster-Well, ma'am, if dat both
ers yer any I'll just turn de box up
side Philadelphia Press.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
Autumn Wizard.

King Midas is no myth, 1 hold,
But walks the earth, a wizard bold.
Last night my naples leaves were green
As any in yon why screen,
And now-each one is turned to gold!
King Midas is no myth, l hold.
Emma G. Dowd in Judge.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29

do you think 1 could get an audi
ence with the boss?' asked the politi-
cal hanger-on, going in.
YES" snapped the disappointed Of
ficeseeker, coming out, IF you featured
him in a dime museum as the Two
faced man.'-Philadelph Press.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
Feminine Charity.

He-Miss Dimpleton has teeth like
pearls.
She-That probably accounts for it.
He-Accounts for what?
She-The fact that she is dumb as an
oyster.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
No Improvement on Nature.

Irate Patient-Here! you told me
these false teeth would be just as good
as natural ones, and they hurt me hor-
ribly.
Painless Dentist-Well, didn't your
natural ones hurt you?-Le 'Rire.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
Identify Easily Established.

"What kind of looking man is that
chap, Gabbleton, you just mentioned?
don't believe I have met him.
''Well, if you see two men off in a cor
ner anywhere and one of. them looks
bored to death, the other one is Gabble-
ton"
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
Man Next Door.

my daughter" said the proud IA
ther. played several selections from
Wagner last evening"
Indeed" rejoined the man who
lives next door. 81 heard the noise.
but thought it was some one tuning
the piano."
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
His Scheme.

"Gaddie certainly is stuck on him
self"
ooh, don't know. He's always rum
ming himself down."
"Of course; that's the only way he
can keep on talking about himself and
get people to listen to im."-Philadel-
phia Press.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
Took Aim at His word,

Nov, Miss Caustique." said young
Borem, who had dropped In to spend
the evening. pray do not put yourself
out on my account Just act A. II I
were not here"
Thank you, Mr.. Borem," she ~
piled. 81 will do as you suggest and
proceed to enjoy myself"
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
Hope Springs Eternal.

Poet-Good news, dear! That poem
of mine"
Wife-Accepted at last?
Poet-Qh, no! But I've just learned
that there's a new magazine published
out West that l haven't submitted 1t
to philadelphia Ledger.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
Hard on Jinx.

"Jinx says olden times were better
than these times"
"Jinx is right"
You think SOP"
Yes; you see in olden times Jinx
had not yet arrived" Post.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
A Canine Imitator.

"That new hired man works like
dog"
Indeed! Glad to hear it"
eyes, he chased arat out of the barn
and then laid himself down in the sun
and slept all the Afternoon"
land Plain Dealer.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
Undoubtedly.

Him-Darling, will you be my wife
Her-Sure. 1 shall be delighted to
share your troubles and anxieties.
Him-Thank you; but haven't any.
Her-Not now, perhaps, but you
will have after the minister has said
his say.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
In the Black Maria.

"Ah, my poor man." said the prison
visitor, "and how did you get here?
81 was drove to it, ma'am," replied the
convict.
'Yes?'
''Yes'm; the van brung me."-Philadel-
phia Press.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
Proof at Hand,

"Woman's work." sighed the young
wife, sis never DONE"
Il guess that's right" rejoined the
man who had been paying the freight
for six months, especially if these bis
cults Of yours come under the head Of
work"
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
The Difference.

Son-What is a financier, pat
Father-A financier, my son, Is a
man who has so much money that it
takes a legislative committee to find
out to whom it belongs.-Council
Bluffs Nonpareil.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
Still in Commission.

Helen-I was surprised to learn that
you had been married to old Coupons.
Why, he is completely paralyzed, isn't
he?
Stella-No, indeed. His right arm
isn't paralyzed and he can still sign
checks.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
All for a Lark,

81 think these comic writer's overdo
the thing" complained the benedict
"All newly married couples don't act
like doves"
NO" chuckled the cynical bachelor.
Some of them act like JAYS"
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
Spoiled 1t.

Summer Girl-For goodness sakes,
what has happened to Margie's bathing
suit? She looks like fright!
Also a S. G.-Doesn't she? The care
less thing got it all wet yesterday
Cleveland Leader.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
Knew What He Wanted.

Customer want a nine-shot re-
volver.
Gunsmith-We have nothing but
five and six shooters, sir.
Customer-Won't do 1 want to kill
q cat
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
Not for Him.

Mrs.. Newliwed-Its Just brutal Of
you to call It this stuff" You said
you'd be glad II 1 baked my own bread
and
Mr.. Newliwed-Yes, but didn't
say I wanted you to bake mins.-Phil-
adalphia PresA
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
Much in Little.

''Multum in Parvo," read the man
across the street. Say, that's a queer
motto for a shoemaker"
"Guess it's all right, though" rejoin-
ed the obese policeman on the corner.
"You see, his specially is ladies' shoes"
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
EgOtiSn.

She-I wouldn't marry the best man
in the world.
He-Pardon me, but your remark was
entirely uncalled for.
She-Why, pray?
He-Because 1 never asked you to
marry me.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
His Modest Fear.

"Do you believe in reincarnationT
asked the woman who is interested in
the occult.
eyes," answered the young man who
never contradicts.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
Much the Same.

did you ever visit a racetrack?"
asked the inquisitive person.
NO" replied the sad-faced party,
"but 1 once met a footpad in a dark
alley who relieved me Of my hard
earned CON-
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
WE SMILE.
HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM
THE COMIC PAPERS.

Pleasant Incidents Occurring the
World Over--Sayings that Are Cheer
full to Old or Young-Funny Selections
that Everybody Will Enjoy.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
Reduced.

Miss Oldun has been 80
For seven years or more;
She's shopworn now and has herself
Marked down to "a.
Philadelphia Press.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
Real Thing.

Real Thing.
Miss Gotrox-I, too, have royal
blood In my veins.
Lord Churchmouse-Weally
kiss Gotrox-Fact Ny grandfatAeR
vas onee Q king at Q masQueRads hoA
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
Couldn't Lose il,

Naggs--My wife never loses her
temper.
Jaggs-How do you account for lit
Naggs-She keeps it in such con-
slant use it has no chanc3 to get lost
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
LET US ALL LAUGH.
JOKES FROM THE PENS OF Va.
RIOUs HUMORISTS

Pleasant Incidents Occurring the
World Over-SayinGs that Are Cheer
fu1 to Old or Yonng-Funnye Solicitors
that You viii Enjoy.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND Do
lNGS HERE AND THERE.

Jokes and Joke1ets that Arc Supposed
to Have Been Recently Born-SayinEs
and Doings that Are Old, Curious and
LauEhabIe-The Weeks Huner.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1907-01-29

LET US ALL LAUGH.
JOKES FROM THE PENS OF VA.
RIOUs HUMORISTS
Pleasant Incidents occurr!n1 thG
World Over-SayinGs that Are Cheer
fu1 to Old or Yonng-Fun Solicitors
that You VIII Enjoy.
Man Next Door.
my daughter" said the proud Ia
ther. played several selections from
Wagner last evening"
"Indeedv' rejoined the man who
lives next door. 81 heard the noise.
but thought it was some one tuning
the piano."
Miss Pechis-Mr. Dumley took me for
a Vassar graduate the first time he met
me.
Mr.. Yerner-Thats strange. That
isn't at all what 1 was inclined to take
you for.
Mis- Pechis-No? What then?
Mr.. Yerner-For better, for worse
Philadelphia Press.
Much the Same.
did you ever visit a racetrack"
asked the inquisitive person.
NO." replied the sad-faced party,
"but once met footpad in dark
alley who relieved me Of my hard
earned COIN"
do you think 1 could get an audi
ence with the boss?" asked the politi-
cal hanger-on, going in.
Yes" snapped the disappointed Of
fceseeker, coming out, IF you featured
him in a dime museum as the Two
faced n''-Philadelphia Press.
A Canine Imitator.
"That new hired man works like a
dog"
Indeed! Glad to hear it"
eyes, he chased arat out of the barn
and then laid himself down in the sun
and slept all the fternoon."-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
His Scheme.
"Gaddie certainly is stuck on him
self"
ooh, 1 don't know. He's always run.
ming himself down."
"Of course; that's the only way be
can keep on talking about himself and
get people to listen to <him."-Philadel.
phia Press.
Proof at Hand.
"Woman's work." sighed the young
wife, sis never DONE"
81 guess that's right" rejoined the
man who had been paying the freight
for six months, especially if these bis
cults Of yours come under the head Of
r work"
2 Identify Easily Established.
"What kind of looking man is tina
chap, Gabbleton, you just mentioned
1 don't believe I have met him."
''Well, if you see two men off in a cor
ner anywhere and one of. them look
bored to death, the other one is Cable
ton"
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-08-17
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The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-08-17
Irregular az tho Sun'

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doubt the rising and setting of the sun
is the most regular performance in the
universe, unless 1t is the action OF the
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