The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1907-02-21

the money was left in fairly good
hands
A keLtpcky minister preached
tree hours on the topic "Hell is here
and now" He doubtless thoroughly
convinced his congI egatiion.
Ihe distressing news is given out
that Alfred Austi' is W 'iting poeW
on the Jamaican earthuuHke. Are all
the fretk Eug!ishmen to take hand
IN tGri Es,ne,s?
1 81" ten J,ltries PAWS says the
scnaie shail rot Lluf him into silence
Gas it dill Tillman " However, VIXEN
NJ liSis get, ready to call the sell
,tlr's tlutt, he will ho wise to watch
out tor the ii Tie joker.
The ann0unGuJ.eLt is .aade that tie
recent earthquake viii not cuItail tlt
output of Jamaica rum. Cel taiLly
not; had the earthquake any hostile
intentions toward this particular rum
output, it would not have wasted
time fooling around Jamaica.
1t appears that Carter Harrison is
to run for mayor of Chicago again.
The mystery Is, how that Office has
managed to wabble along without
Garter Hair rison to hold it down for
the past year or so. anyhow.
"Burn your love letters when you
have read them," says Ella Wheeler
Wilcox. Why not burn them before
mailing?
These are the days OF big things.
Captain HUDSON wants asbigger navy,
and Chancellor Day is anxious tor
bigger trusts. There is no urgent call
tor bigger Holsters however.
They have discovered in Chicago
that the hog drivers of the stockyards
use the same cry to urge on unwilling
porkers that was employed by the
-swineherds of ancient Greece. Thus
does "culchaw" make its way west
ward.
So the railroads were juggling him
out of five millions year postage be-
cause Uncle Sam didn't understand
arithmetic.
New Jersey must be getting better.
1t shows signs of refusing to sell that
seat in the United States senate.
The yellow journals have de Jared
war against Japan without the con
sent of the United States government.
1t took so long to dig into the Rus
sell Sage fortune that people we're be-
ginning to think the money was petri-
fed.
In war with Japan it would be
"big stick" against chop suey.
President Hills threats bear out
the impression that the railroads arc
trying &c drive the people to desper-
alton.
Mr.. Roosevelt should really LEI
somebody else succeed Senator Platt
first so that the change might not be
too great.
An English scientist asserts that
high collars produce Headaches which
is an indication that dudes have
brains after all.
Gov. Hughes continues to excite
apprehension and surprise among biz
friends by standing to his ante cleo
tion promises. He is said to leave
the door of his office wide open with
his desk in plain view while he is
working. It must be quite treat for
the visitors TO Sc real live governor
earning his salary.
The newspaper man who discovered
that Senator elect Guggenheim began
life hare footed might find on further
investigation that he also began it
baldheaded.
Although said to be richer ian
Rockefeller Weyerhauser seems to be
permitted to persue the even tenor OF
bis way principally because lie Ie
trains from lecturing his fellow men
on how to be happy though struggling
for living.
II is reported that the new shah of
Persia will begin business by cutti
off a few heads. How like chang
of administration III this country.
Next year we are told determined
effo-t is to be made to give husbands
and wives equal rights. Wonder whtt
rights the wives will give up in order
to eaualize matters.
An Illinois man who is being sued
for divorce md alimony simply de-
MES that he is married His wife GER
tainly neglected her duty it she per-
mitted him to forget 1t.
| At the rate the indictments are pill
ing up against the Standard Oil Co
If will soon be monopolizing the time
Of the courts as we'll as the visible
supply OF ell,
The London Express Is getting un.
easy because it has disc overed tha'
the United Stat es is getting rich ten
times as fast as Great Britain Still
the American also spends bis money
ten times as fast as his British cous
in.
| A Maine newspaper says The way to
make a cat 8 ay at home is to grease
|; its feet and q "woman's p age editor