The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-02-03

we ARE making grand progress. and
moro money viii be coming toward us."
one terrible aqucallng as'ouishad me.
We ruehed 10 the spot. Three scien-
to tables on which were more machin-
cry. with tubcs, dials. and wire. when
one pig was touched with the wire
his Nqucnls were measured for volume.
intensity, and quality. This labora~
tory experiment. NJ. Clam, has won
dvrrm possibilities" said NJ. Stag,
what terrible energy is spent by
lheso pigs IN squcnlng. yet It IL lost
- this world. How 10 conserve this
energy? That ia the question. II We
can contrIvc machinery for this, think
Of that saving Of power? Those stock
yards could supply power for al pack
ing operations, also for those munich
ral truluwaya NJ. le Mayor Dunno
has great interest In this problem.
Also those Armours have given us
free pigs for experiments. with one
million dollars for apparatus. Soon
We hope to solve This problem. Then
Chicago may boast Of utilizing all
parts Of these hogs for the benefit Of
society, yet the squeal may be most
valuable OF ALL
said; Can you not save the
squcnl and let the rest OF that pig go?'
The reply: THAT Chicago law. NJ.
Clam. provides that no pig shall ever
leave the city alive, This will prevent
those other cities from being more
hoggish than Chicago"
NJ. Stag led me up TO one room
where many people did hang head
downward. suspended by ropes, Scien-
lists In attendance watched these per-
sons closely, taking temperatures, ad-
mnistering electric shocks. and making
notes OF words spoken by those VIC
Tins. | thought this was violence,
with murder! With excitement | said:
you, NJ, Stag, do not make murder"
His reply: BE assured, NJ. Clam
this Is not violence. Here we have ex-
periments in sublimation Of thought.
DO you know Of great ecstasy of brain
when upside down? No? Bah! You
are behind those times. one Chicago
scientist. after eating heavily was un-
able To write. His head sank down.
Instantly he found those thoughts
clearer. He bent TO the floor In agl-
taton. Yes, It was not one mistake!
His brain did flash grand thoughts.
Eagerly he stood upon his head. Hur-
mh! The brain of him did strike po-
etc fire, with sparkling thoughts most
like fireworks Of the genius! He did
try to write, yet he could not reach
paper while upside down. Quickly re-
turning to his feet, he ran for the pen
and paper Bah. Those miracles of
thought vanished! He stood like the
the jackass. with no
thoughts. Even he did not remember
to stand again on the head. Thus,
almost the grand discovery was not
discovered. One day this scientist
was knocked from the street car to
his head with feet upward. Instantly
those thoughts of genius flashed again.
He did cry to those bystanders every
thing, and this discovery was discov-
cred at the last Too quickly he did
turn to his feet at first. Now, by
turning slowly, those brains do not
spill out ALL as they did to him.
Look, my dear Clam, at these re-
versed philosophers, poets, inventors,
and various geniuses!" said M, Stag.
"This specimen, you will see, is pur-
pie In his neck, with those eyeballs
popping. You say this Is the blood to
the head, with danger of apoplexy?