Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-05
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Burglar-Have l gotten eVerything7
Dimpleton-Do you expect me to tell
that? Burglar think you ought, as
a matter of honor--Judge.
CastletOn-Ahout how much does 1t
cost to run a steam yachtg Highblow-
EFF Il makes any difference to you,
you cant afford it-Judge.
Her Father What are YOU ana
young Shortlelgh going to live on in
case you marry? His Daughter--WeIl,
II YOU must know, papa, look in the
mirror.-Tit- Bits
DO you believe in marrying Cor love
aloneY he asked. "Oh, yes" replied
the bright little lady who had Just re-
turned from South Dakota 81 always
do"--Chicago Record Herald.
Il believe old Grabbittson would give
his soul for money" Yes. and he'd
probably get more than II was worth.
no matter how small the amount hap
pened TO be."-Chicago Record Herald.
Old Boozer-N0, passon; tell e 1
never could swaller that yarn about
Samson and them ere PhiIistincs
Parson-Re Really Wen, it's about
the only thing you couldn't swallow.
Scraps.
Robbie | hope YOU didn't tell your
mother that You saw me kissing sister
last night" Nope. didn't have to.
Sis walked as all up at midnight when
YOU went home and told 1t herself
Minneapolis Journal
DO you approve of spelling re-
formY Yes" answered the adaptable
citizen. "'rhe only objection is that It
consumes more time remembering to
spell the new way than II does 10 put I'm
the extra letters. Washington star.
She-I cant bear actors; they're 40
conceitedl Ie-But I'm an actor. and
YOU don't think I'm conceited, do you?
She (seeking to recover herself oh,
OF course not / mean the big ones
the little ones don't count.-Sacred
Heart Review
He-I don't like your friend, Miss
Knox She told an acquaintance OF
mine that ! was a perfect idiot. She
Oh I'm sure she didn't mean IL. She
knows as well ~ anyone else that no
human being is absolutely perfect
Brooklyn Citizen.
Wigg The last | saw of you Young
pop was talking you to death about his
baby How did you get rid of hlm2
Wagg oh. some fellow came along
who had Just bought an automobile, 80
introduced them and made my escape.
Philadelphia Record,
Small Girl with smaller brother)--
How much is It to Shepherds Bush1
Box Office Clerk -I.uppence. I've told
You that i've times already. Small Girl
Yes, know; but little Willy likes
to see you come TO the window; II re-
minds him Of the zoo.--Sketch.
Tom Well darling, l have seen your
father and he has given his consent.
Grace-He approves OF love In cot
tage, then7 mo, but he says that
girl who spends as much time golfing
and motoring as you do really has not
much need Of home. "-Tnttle-.
Where was he struck by the auto
mobile2' asked the coroner. AT the
junction of the dorsal and cervical YER
tebrae," answered the surgeon. "wili
you please point that out on thu mapI"
asked the coroner, indicating Ine that
hung on the wall-~ChicagO Tribune.
MIR. Merchant" said the new clerk.
preparing 10 ask for more pay, Il
think ! understand the business pretty
we'll now. and" "YesT interrupt
ed his employer Wei. keep at 1t
four or five years Perhaps you'll I'M
derstand Il then az well NJ you think
you do Philadelphia Press.
In a trolley accident IN New eng
land an freshman wns badly hurt The
next day lawyer called on him and
asked II he intended to sue the com
pany for damages. "Damagesr said
Pat. looking feebly over his bnndages.
sure. / have thin already. I'd lolke
to sue the railway for repairs, sor. av
ven take the case" Youths Compan.
ion