The Washington herald., 1907-01-27
T HE SOCIAL CODE.
BY THE ARBITER.

/ II L n N ID / i L
is stupid, unnecessary, complicated, and
expensive Formerly Il was the custom
to leave only one card. with the right
side turned down. as an Indication that
the visit included all the members Of the
family IL there were no sons or daugh-
tiers Of the house, only the upper right
hand corner was bent over, to show that
the visitor had called in person, and the
leaving Of cards after this fashion is still
perfectly good form.
Cards should be left on making a first
visit and on returning all visits; after all
invitations, whether accepted or not. The
only exception TO this rule is tea. When
one attends 10 Is not necessary TO make a
return visit. when one does not attend.
one must send a card. either on the day
OF the tea or subsequently. Cards should
be left after birth or death in the fam
ily, after the formal announcement Of an
engagement after a wedding, on the re-
turn OF ones friends from long absence
from town, after the recovery Of a friend
from a long illness, and for other in
Vulnerable occasions. The person calling
II he has the time and desire. should ask
TO see the person or persons on whom he
is calling, bat whether he is admitted OF
not the cards must be left. a. an evi-
dence Of the bearers presence and his
/ sympathy, congratulations, or whatever
the occasion may require.
II is in extremely bad taste 20 attempt
anything eccentric in the way Of q visit
ing card. Ii one is not quite sure OF the
correct style and form IL IS best 10 con-
suit stationer the most fashionable one
IN town. who TO preserve his own reputa-
ton will look % 10 that his patron shall
follow the prevailing mode. But there
is small possibility OF any one making
mistake In the matter since the style Of
cards has changed very little tn the
past twenty-five years. a card should
bear the name. address, and the day al
home Of the owner The address should
be omitted on the cards OF young Unmar-
ried women.
It is the custom in Europe. and it is
/ gradually becoming the custom here upon
the death Of a member Of the family
20 send out cards announcing that fact.
They are heavily bordered with black
and read according 70 the taste of the
person debating the text. which Is gen
orally very elaborate. IL is also usual
among Roman Catholics to issue cards
announcing that a mass will be said for
the repose OF the soul of this or that de
ceased relative. giving the date and end
ing with the plea. Pray for him" The
habit is growing here for an invalid on
conva}escence 90 send out cards Of thanks
% all those who inquired during the III
ness. These bear the engraved words
/ Many thanks for kind inquiries" above
she persons name and are sent by post
or footmsn This fad-for Il seems little
else-dops not appeal 20 one as particu-
larry refined or elegant, and is net advo-
Gated by The, Arbiter
J. Question. VII yru u- So good as 20 tell me
vhethe- % Is proper ro appear at dinners BOB fr1ck
cCatt 7 dmai ar a very smart house teo sundays
ago and found the principal guest On afternoon COS
trmv. he is so very well bred that cannot con
csive gf his offending against sod form. and vet
seemingly without the slightest eXC1sC. De had neg
lected 10 dress Tor what vas q very formal and elab
crate dinner
Answer: Your principal guest" has
doubtless spent some time in England
where il is the almost universal custom
for professional men 10 wear frock coats
on Sunday, even for dinner; indeed, it is
considered very proper for that class.
have never met one Of what might be
termed the smart set" in London who
allowed himself the privilege OF so ap-
pearng. / think many Of the professional
men in America are taking the cue from
those on the other side. and the only ex-
PLANTATION I can make of your well bred"
friends Houobservance Of the accepted
custom here is that he is a professional
man with English Sympathies.
. Question: Would 1t he possible to take a friend
% a reception AZ private house provided he had
Just arrived in town and there wss time or oppor-
tuuity 70 communicate with the hostess, without her
IFTnissionl
Answer: This depends entirely upon
your degree of intimacy with the hostess
The papers have recently been filed with
comments upon Mr.. William Waldorf As
tors rudeness to a gentleman, an init
mate of King Edward it proved to be,
whom one Of his titled guests took the
privilege Of introducing, This lack OF
taste cost him the loss Of all the prestige
he had gained In English society, and
rightly SO. An intimate Of the household
according to an old fashioned law of hos
pitality dating back to medieval times
has the liberty of introducing q friend TO
the house of a friend. and il is the general
custom here at "a large reception to pre-
sent stranger from out of town without
the formalty Of asking. This, of course.
does not include the White House For
nerly it was allowed that public officials
and those intimate with the President and
his family should occasionally introduce
their friends without the formality Of
asking. but the privilege was so much
abused that it is now considered in ex-
tremely bad taste to bring any one to the
receptions at the White House without
previously receiving permission.
3. Question: Z notice in the social columns that
Mrs. LongT0rth Is receiving every TUESDAY Would
l. comparative stranger in town, having no previous
acquaintance with her her husband but wished 20
see her merely from curiosity, have the privilege Of
caIling2
Answer: Most certainly not. The mere
suggestion of such thing is caddish.
Even the wives Of public officials have a
right to some privacy and consideration,
though, from the demonstrations that
have been made on Mrs Longworth's trip
through America, it would seem that this
right is not recognized.
{. Question: Is il incumbent upon a bachelor 10
make return visit for the invitations ne reccivesy
In IN Adamlgss Eden like Washington a man is fres
qUenty asked 20 "fll up and If IS often favor ne
grants rather than receives when he accepts an in
yitation.
Answer: That. of course, depends upon
the bachelor: but there is a social tradi-
ton that one should never accept a favor
he cannot repay. 1t takes a consummats