The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-11-06
DRIFT OOD
RY PHIL H. ARMsTRoNG

A 1e-inch gun fired into plate glass window is very mild compared to the shock resulting from the first smaSh up of schoof-sirrs first love affair
 The next balloon race should be held in Houston. Tex, where the hot-air comes from.
 The financial crisis is said t9 be work.
 Ehe Venus de Milo was a pretty wo- man If she had a few freckles on her
 The melancholy days must be here@ full crop of 7,626,42S, poets have said so. and they ought to Know
 A writer in The New York, Journal says: "In America a mans first wife helps him make make his money, and things.
 Florence Constantine, one of the engineer in the employ of the Italian Government. So much for early envi- ronment-the dulcet shrieks of the whistle must have furRished the in- spiration for an operatic career
 How bitter for poor Uncle Billy Taft to return home and discover that Teddy isn't so sure that he would be just the right man for President after all.
 Blythe quantity of furs purchased, little Gladys and her toy count evil dently contemplate a honeymoon to the North Pole.
 We'll the banks had good run for their money.
 A West Virginia woman has a boy months old weighing 11e pounds. and if the fond father walks the floor with 1t in his arms every night, he is indeed, as MT. Roosevelt says, a hero.
 scientist says that woman has a far better memory than a man. The learned gent aforesaid must have owed one of them money for some time. unfortunate man wid a little ready money" enquired the impecunious par- sorry. @ but have nothing fl. the house but a clearinghouse certificate, if you'A accept that" replied the an- guiar but astute lady of the house in deprecating tone.
 Alas, there wouldn't be so many h headaches and empty purses if the av- craze man didn't mistake the tree of life for the tree of high-iife.
 Does that purring noise we thear emil grate from the little biind-tiger kit- tens?
 Money too often flies to a wosnan's head in the form of new hat. and to a mans in the form of new hs ad!
 
 The Duchess of Marlborough refuses to stay and attend the wedding of her cousin, Gladys. Possibly she wants to preclude the possibility of an embar- rassing scene in which she might try to pronounce the counts name and couldn't.
 A merchant up in Utica. N. r.. was shot for deer the other day No doubt it will prove 8 deer experi- ence for the would-be sportsman.
 The Roosevelt third term balloon is just a game of "now-you-see-it-and now-you-don.t.
 Time is money to most anybody but the fellow who has the time-and the money.
 When your girl tells you in secludS ed spot that her face is her fortune, it's up to you to make her declare a dividend right there.
 Raymond Hitshcoek E is imagining
 
 probably sailed away in an Air-ship.
 Pennsylvania man has discovered a new race fin Alaska. Strange, shat Jack London and Rex Beach should have overlooked 1t.
 ''why do women speak q paragraph the length of 6 column without taking a breath ?" asks an exchange. Be- cause a woman had rather talk than breathe-that's why.
 Boston people are complaining pe- cause Thanksgiving turkey up there IS 40c a pound. Colue to Alabama, where Thanksgiving really means gan. ,,r"srs yours are cheap and plentiful.
 Heaven is not rslraed at a sing.e bound, but conclusions are--by women.
 The Disturbed DOmieile. We're all bum -foozied-nearly wild (Since ikitty's took up French). There's none but me to old the ssliild-s (Since Kitty's took up French). %Au fait." she's not as yet-oh, mol But she's of 'be1 esprit"--and so- At times she's mixed-but we don't ssince Kitty's took up French). The unwashed dishes stand all night (Since Kitty's took up French). The dusty furniture's sight (Since Kitty's took up Freneh). And when to her some brave soul tells Her faults, Absence d'esprit," she yeIls~%
 Her brow with learning each day (since Kitty's took up Frenchl.
 THE GREAT NEED.