The St. Mary banner., 1907-09-28
Too Enthusiastic.
BY MAX ADELEH,

some llmc ago Tue authorizes OF
our county appointed Nr. Sliagshy
assessor and tax collector. The prip-
cipal characteristic OF Nr, Sliugsby
Is enthusiasm. He has an idea that
whenever a man gets anything new
It ought to be taxed, and he is al
ways on hand to perform the service,
! had about fifteen feet added to one
of my chimneys last spring, and when
It was done Slingsby called and as
eessed 1t, under the head Of i'm
proved real estate" at eighty dollars.
and collected two per cent. on it, A
few days later, while was standing
by the fence. Slingsby came up and
said:
Beautiful dog you have there!"
"Yes, it's setter
Indeed, A setter, hey? The tax
on settlers is two dollars. III collect
1t now, while l have it on my mind"
settled the obligation, and about
three weeks later Slingsby came
around again. He opened the con-
versation with the remark:
BILLY Jones told me down at the
grocery store that your setter had
had pups"
"Yes."
"A large litter?"
-Four"
Indeed! Less see-tax is two dol
lars: four times two is eight-yes,
eight dollars tax. please. And hurry
up, too, IL you can, for they have a
new batch of kittens over at Bald
wins, and want to ketch old Bald
win before he goes out. By the way,
when did you put that weathercock
On your stable?"
yesterday"
"You don't say! Well, hold on.
then. Four times two is eight, and
iour-on the weathercock. you know
is twelve. Twelve dollars is the
exact amount"
What do you mean by four dollars
Of such a thing"
Didn't, hey? Why, she comes In
under the head of scientific appar-
atus' She's put up there to tell
which way the wind blows, isn't she?
| Well, that's scientific intelligence,
and the apparatus Is liable to tax"
"Mr. Slingsby, that is the most abb
surd thing I ever heard of. You
might just as we'll think Of taxing
| Butterwick's twins"
"Butter- You don't mean to
say Butterwick has twins? Why. GER
tainly they're taxable. They come
in under the head of 'poll-tax.' Three
dollars a piece I'll 60 right down
there. Glad you mentioned 1t. !"
Then l paid him and he left with
Butterwick's twins on his memo
randum-book.
A day or two afterward Mr.. Sings
by called to see me, and said:
"Ive got case that bothers me
like thunder. You know Hough, the
i, tobacconist? Well, he's just bought
q new wooden Indian to stand in
front of his store. Now, have a
strong feeling that I ought to tax
that figure. but l don't know where
to place it. Would 1t come In as
'Statuary?' Somehow that doesn't
| oCOu CAdCIly IAC was oOAuo
to asses it under the head of Idols.
but the blamed idiots who got up this
law haven't got a word in it in refer
ence to idols. Think of that. will
you! Why, we might have paganisIa
raging all over this country. and we
couldn't get a cent out of them. I'd
a. put that Indian under craven Inn
, ages only they amt mentioned
either. l s'pose I could tax the bum
die of wooden cigars in his fist as
Tobacco but that leaves out the rest
of the figure. and he's not liable to
poll-tax because he can't even vote.
Now, how would 1t strike you II I
levied on him as an Immigrant
He was made somewheres else than
here, and he came from there, conse-
quently he's an immigrant. That's
my view. What do you think OF it?''
I advised him to try 1t upon that
plan: and the next morning Mr..
Slingsby and Mr.. Hough had a hight
on the pavement in front of the In
dian. because Mr.. Slingsby tried to
seize the immigrant for unpaid taxes.
Slingsby was sent to Jail for larceny
and the business Of collecting taxes ia
temporarily suspended.-New York
Weekly.