The independent., 1907-04-25

ac@
2 DRIFTWOOD S
W=@M
Never count your peaches before hey
are picked.
man hates to be accused Of having
said something he didn't say.
You will feel better If you give some
thing TO help the starving IN emma.
Don't put 1t off
Don't fear the chill OF the taber-
nacle Evangelist John Lyons Will warm
things up for you.
Getting hot about cold weather won't
save the peach crop. Put on your fur
coat and stand up for Nebraska.
Minnesota exchange calls this
rather open winter. Not so sure about
that. it showed in Topeka April II.
They tell us that the future life will
be tough one. for the tightwads Bet
ter loosen up while there is yet time.
Minnesota weather, according to Ralph
Wheelock, is not quite cold enough for
anthracite and little too cold for slabs
The last great quake tilted the earth
TIA miles too far to the northWard ana
we can prove it by the disastrous effect
to vegetation in our little one-lot orchard
Under the new pure food law in Min
nesota one cannot peddle milk without
first procuring license. After that II
he patrpnizes the pump he does so at his
own risk.
Beatrice man Is disgusted with the
new child labor law because under It's
provisions ns has to build the kitchen
fire and let little Willie sleep until about
breakfast time
married man Of New York made
his wife angry by kissing another Wo-
man To square himself he said he did
1t by mistake. and now the woman is
as angry as his wife.
II fellow has 10 staTve his mind IN
order to feed his body he is in hard luck:
Twenty years from now old settlers VIII
tell Of the cold snap in April that killed
all the fruit except apples.
Under the circumstances we are well
pleased that Mrs. Joseph Benson For
aker failed to beat out Sister Donald
Mclean for the presidency of the d.
A. r.
When all / want to do is done,
And all I want to say is said,
When r have watched the setting sun
Go downlfo good When 7 am dead
Don't send in flowers by the dray
TO heap above my classic brow;
Give, if you ave to spare, today,
Dear friends for | am hungry now,
IF the proyocation to homicide had
taken place after instead of before the
European escapade of Harry Thaw. the
"dementia Americana" plea might have
received the consideration of the jury
in spite of the instructions Of the court.
The next man at tho job will invent no
new title but content himself with desig-
mating it plain emotional insanity If
that fails. then away to Auburn
At Norfolk sixteen men of good mora
character have made applications fol
saloon licenses and three druggists
have also petitoned for permits tt
handle booze for medicinal, mechanical
and chemical purposes only Norfolk
has a population of 5000. If Lincoln
had a thirst proportionately as great i
would require 100 saloons and thirty
drug stores to keep the people boozy
and Well
Rudolph Crowei of Little Rock stole
S24D0 in currency and went up to st
Louis and had the time of his life for &
few DAYS: then on to indianapolis where
during a brain strom caused by mixing
his drinks, he told the whole story t,
a detective and went to jail to sober III
and get ready to go home. lie paid fol
his fun as he went along, and now lie Hll
pay for il again Not only is the 100
and his money soon parted but the TOO
and other peoples money have the same
experience.
When the supreme court had spoken,
AS il did last Thursday noon
And the Lincoln drought was broken
and twas broken none toe soonl
How the faces OF the boo2ers
Swift-erased the lines of grief
With what Joy these gay old snoozers
Sought the fountains Of relief.
Once again their heads made dizzy
By the morning slugs OF gin;
an.s, n0ntn the cons are husK