Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1907-09-12
JOHN SMITHS
Year

Il read q paragraph few days ago
to the effect that this would be great
year for John Smith," said the travel.
ing man who was fixing up the cards
In a game In the smoker. 1T didn't
appeal TO me.
AS most OF you know. that's my
name. am not ashamed Of Il, but ]
don't mind saying that would like
TO trade Il on until that jamestown
AFFAIR Is over.
III we could have a set Of expert
humorists to get up the jokes condi.
tions might be more tolerable: but for
everybody you meet to take O shy at
the family patronymic In tiresome.
MY house thought Il would be
good card TO have me on the ground
the day the show opened At Norfolk.
| arrived the night before and put up
at convenient hotel. When I wrote
my name on the register the torture
began.
You're the first on the ground!'
exclaimed the clerk. who was evident.
ly raw one. | confess. however. that
| didn't take his meaning on the bat.
"'Of course You want the best In
the house. continued the mushroom.
with smirk on his face. Then he
hammered II In. The Smith family
has the right Of way here. he con.
tinued. and specially John
Ordinarily I'm fretty quick on the
ri ,ger hii the wretch kept ahead Of
ne. Belo.' could unlimber he
landed out mother.
"'N ell gne you the Pocohontas
chamber. John--pardon-Mr. Smith.
Front
before the bellhop made the plate
| was at the bat. l won't delay the
game. gentlemen. by quoting my own
words. bal when ] was through the
excreseA,c behind the counter was
sneakln, away as II he had squatted
ON the hot end Of an evicted hornet.
In spite Of apologies by the landlord
walked out OF that tavern and put up
at u boarding house where they don't
keep books.
THE next day dropped in at the
teleg; aph office and asked II there was
anything for John Smith. The man
looked at me as fellow looks at hat
Oh the sidewalk on April I. Quicker
than you get your cards I showed him
my watch containing my picture and
name. and then threw down q bundle
Of old letters to clinch the Identified.
ton.
81 am John Smith, I said. with the
words underscored, and don't want
any funny business
THE man at the window handed out
four wires to my address and said in
q quiet way that was rather soothing:
81 reckon you are John Smith all
right. but don't 60 round here with
the idee that you're the only one. The
twelfth went out jest ahead Of you
Il thought It was time for me to do
the funny stunt Seeing that I had
anticipated trouble. I said:
"Then I'm No. 49,
"As was going out heard the man
at the window say, You're liable to be
Is before you're much older
I'll owe that fellow one until
meet him again. am not the only
one Of the name that Is lodging Il,
either.
The last night | was In the town
] went to the Office Of hotel. Il was
crowded. While / was sitting and
smoking an office boy with q telegram
pushed his way through the jam, call.
ing out, Smith. John Smith! Smith.
John Smith
Nobody responded. The boy took
the telegram back to the clerk. who
booked over at the line OF occupied
chairs along the wall and called out:
whats the matter with you Smiths
over there? know at least O half
dozen Of you are OF that name, and
here's q telegram for one Of you.
What are you afraid Off
mot man In the line moved.
Later on in the evening after the mob
had scattered sneaked up to the
clerk and asked him II anybody had
claimed the message.
EYES, he snorted. The message
has been read by six different Smiths.
Maybe you're the right one. / hope
So
Il took It. II was for me. apollo
gized for my part Of the trouble.
said in q meek sort Of way that
wasn't to blame for my name.
COURSE not snapped the tired
clerk, but II you Smiths would only
get together and mark yourselves IN
some way 1t would save o whole lot
Of trouble in this hotel
II left that town the next morning.
and shall be travelling away from Il
- long as the exposition lasts. And
I've burnt up all my cards"