The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1907-08-09

der together the yoke OF life.
Few men in this part OF the coun
| try have had the privilege Of uniting
In wedlock SO many persons represent
| ing varied races as has Mr.. Burns Ht
has been rendered many strange pre-
sents by the foreigners In apprecia-
tion Of his services, and the proffered
gifts would make a collection OF curios
well worth seeing. But Mr. Burns hai
made IL a practice TO accept none o
these offerings Of over-happy hearts
He believes the couples need every
thing they may have in the shape Oi
valuables 10 assist them along the up
hill path that confronts them.
II wouldn't have happened II his
name had been an unusual one; but
his name is Smith, and he lives in a
small town in Vermont
He owns a Ford Runabout that he
purchased from Charley Fay, manager
Of the Ford Boston branch. The car
had been running fine for several
months, and Smith had written several
times to say how delighted he was.
But one day there came a change, in
the form OF "A letter than detailed ali
the ills motor car is heir 10, and
winding up with a request for imme-
date information as TO what to do 10
make the motor perform as OF yOre.
Fay diagnosed the case as well as he
could, and sent him a bunch OF "ab-
sent treatment" by return mail. But
IL was Of no use A telegram stated
all the eXpedients suggested had been
tried, but the motor would not "mOte.'
Fay wired for more symptoms. In
reply lie received information that the
engine after much cranking would
start, run for a few seconds, smoke,
spit and emit terrible stencil. Seems
as If 1t Is running hot" ended the
telegram. Fay suggested examining
the pump, commutator, carburetor, coil
and everything else he could think Of.
and concluded by advising put plen-
ty of oil in the engine base" Smith
replied, nothing doing"
Then Fay got him on the telephone.
What kind Of cylinder oil are you US
ing?"
Same as you sent me last week."
replied Smith hotly.
That's good cylinder OIL" said Fay
but | cannot understand the engine
heating-put In some more oil"
Got the case half full now" yelled
back Smith
well, put i'm some more" yelled
Fay, as he slammed the receiver on
the hook.
In half an hour a telegram told
Fay he could send an expert TO make
the car run or take back his Old ma
chine
1t was in the middle Of the selling
season. Runabouts were going at the
rate Of ten day and every competent
man was required to tune up the
new ones. But there was no way out
OF it, a man must be sent.
Half = day to go, half an hour to
make tlA engine run and another
half day TO return" growled Fay-wish
that fellow could think OF one symptom
he didn't tell me SO | could tell him
what ails his car"
Man was absent three days. When
he returned he met the infuriated man
ager, who asked. What on earth kept
you SO long-what have you been do
ing?"
Took his engine all apart, cleaned
II, and put IL back in"
why! what was wrong with it?"
a., an
OF light brown liquid before his chief
That looks like good cylinder oil"
said Fay.
Looks like II, yes-that's the
trouble. It's maple syrup"
Strange as II may seem, there are
two Smiths In this Vermont town. A
friend had shipped a can of maple
syrup to one, on the same day and by
the same express company that was
carrying the can of cylinder oil from
Fay To the Ford owner. Cans got
mixed enroute. When the expert took
the motor apart he found the cylinder
full of maple sugar, the bearings full
of syrup and the mufller choked with
the half burnt wax.
Fay is now wondering how the other
Smith relished the cylinder oil on hls
pancakes
Next week at the Boston Grand
Opera House will see the first local
production Of Charles +. Blaney's lat
est and greatest effort. Parted on Her
Bridal Tour" a comedy drama 10y the
worlds greatest writer of love stories,
Laura Jean libbey. Parted on Her
Bridal Tour is a dramatization from
Laura Jean libbey's most popular
book Miss Middleton's Lovers The
work of dramatization has been accom-
plished by Miss Lihbey and James X.
Carey. II is said they have written
story of great strength and purity.
Never since the Fadettes have been
coming to Keith's theatre have they
scored more heavily than they did
when they commenced their sixth an
ns,l