davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1907-06-01
KNEW 1T WAS A BURGLAR
AZ Least There Vas Some Proof That
Il Was Not Hubby Home
from the Club.

A Methodist missionary of De-
toit was praising WI Ting-fang,
the former Chinese ambassador.
"Mr. Va entertained me last win
ter at his country house." he said.
IT asked him why he disapproved Of
the idea Of sending Chinese commits
soners to the various leading coun-
tries -America, Germany, France
70 study modern government and
ne said The only thing I am quite
positive such commissioners would
learn is connoisseurship in French
cooking, what wines to furnish With
each course of a dinner and who are
the worlds best t~ailors, liquor mer-
chants and cigar dealers In his
amusing way he then said he had
nc high oponion of governmental
commissions. He would be polite
to them, but in a polite way, like
the parlor maid, he would express
for them some little contempt. A
parlor maid, he went on, awoke her
mistress in the middle of the night
and whispered oh, madam, there's
a burgl0r downstairs'
Nonsense, said the lady, its
only my husband, 10 to 1, just get
ting home from the club
"'No, madam said the maid,
positively. IFS a burglar, for he
isn't stumbling over ANYTHING nor
swearing nor falling down."
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1907-06-01
TRAMP's ANSWER.

When Mrs. Eddy, the head of the
Christian Science church, was
young, she conducted a temperance
campaign for a time.
A tramp asked her for help.
'1'll help You, my friend" said
Mrs. Eddy, 'but first you must an
Uwer me one question. Do you or
do you not drink beer
The tramp, a hardened customer,
looked at her in amazement.
'Why, lady" he said, eve cert'n'y
don't think | squirt it into me arm
wid a syringep-Puck
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1907-06-01
sPITzBERaEN HUNTING GOOD.

II is getting to be a fad among
Partisan sportsmen to join the Nor
%eS5iaa hfliiting parties WffIich start
for the far northern seas every
spring and bring back big bags of
out Of the way game. These expe-
ditions embark in sloops Of from 80
to 90 tons, each carrying a crew q
eight or ten men. They usually
sail from the northern and north
western parts of Norway. Tromso
is the chief point of departure.
0ftenest they make for Spitzbergen,
but sometimes they cruise as far as
the eastern coast of Greenland.
Twenty-one boats sailed from Tom
so IN the spring Of 1906. This is the
record Of the booty they brought
back: 1876 white bears, Of which 26
we're alive; 1876 walrus, including
three living ones 4,494 mitred seals,
1875 bearded seals and 572 common
seals; 1856 white whales, 2s8 rein
deer; n narwhale; 81 blue foxes,
so white foxes; 1,O76 pounds of
.eiderdown, and 4,123 tons of whale
oil. The total value of the cargoes
brought in is estimated at about
$40 900.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1907-06-01
CARELESS uN5ERTAkERs.

Much indignation has been
aroused IN the Burgess Hill district
Of Sussex, England, by an extraor-
binary succession Of accidents dur
ing burials at st. Johns churchyard.
In the first case a band slipped from
under a child's coffin, and this
pitched into the grave, Then at the
interment Of an adult the u%nprotect-
ed side Of the grave fell in while the
mourners we're singing the hymn
Crock of Ages" Finally, at a third
burial, the grave was found to be too
small to accommodate the coffin, and
it had to be enlarged in the pres
ence Of the distressed relatives, Z
Of whom-a man-fainted.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1907-06-01

WANTED; Three statesmen for OIL
new country, township and railroar
surveys of Missouri. The surveys al
a SPLENDID comp,l4 ion Of facts, figure,
ana drawings, and OF wonderful value.
Countries and towns are folly indexec
and populations Of each are given,
railroads PLAINLY shonn and distaucos
between all citations also shown; con
gr%essional districts outlic e., number.
ed and populations given. Other iea-
lures too numerous to mentiop. A
SPLENDID opportunity for energetic
men.
RAND, McNALLY s. c.,
4-lat5 Chicago, Ills.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1907-06-01
DIGESTIVE

Hang it!' growled young Loyett
to the girl Of his heart. at makes
me mad every time l think Of that
money ! lost to-day. I certainly
feel as if I'd like to have some
body kick mep'
"By the way, Jack" said the dear
girls dreaming, don't you think
you'd better speak to father this
evening illustrated niss
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1907-06-01
CURE ~ FOR SEA SICKNESS.

A cure for sea sickness, which a
German doctor has discovered, viii
be welcomed BY hosts Of travellers. 1t
consists in the passenger simply
lying on his back and having hand
kerchiefs soaked in hot water twist
ID very tightly round his forehead.
The treatment, it is claimed, cures
b. about half an hour, and those
Who undergo it are said never to be
irOublsd again during a voyage.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1907-06-01
PAlNFUL.

The dentist had complained Of
the monographs next door as .
nuisance.
SHOW do they aanoy yOu?" asked
the magistrate.
why ! advertise painless den
|tistry, he replied, "and my pat
|rons claim that the Photographic
racket breaks the CONTRACT
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1907-06-01
THE MoDEsTy OF A

Mistress-Why, Mary, this figure
Of Venus is covered with dust.
Maid-Yes'm.
Mistress--Didn't | tell you to
brush it off?
Maid-Yes'm.
Mistress-And why didn't your
Maid (blushing) m Because, mem.
i thought it needed something on it.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1907-06-01

Mrs. Bri1wist-Now, Huldah. | want
you to be careful. This is some very
ed table linen-been in the family for
ever 200 years and
Huldah-Ah, sure, ma'am, you
needn't worry, l won't tell a ,oul and
n looks as good as new any way.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1907-06-01
Important Announcement

Tn Sunile r Term at the State
N Dul Scpcol, Warrensburg, Mo.
Jsnr GU b. Allust 14th-60 DAYS.
AN the X ular Courses will b.
offered and me Special Courses fur
Teaeher' Sine special fea,urte
never fire. lore IN a Normal Dis
oma o Re4eUls Certificate
Crto!t % hree approved ubircl'
Tor Cnpou and State Certificate
Sep0 for Summer Term Bulletin
Address TEE REGISTRAR.
4.20m2 Narrensuurg Mo.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1907-06-01

The Farmer and Stockman, OF
hausas Guy, MO-, IS an agricultural
weekly OF the highest class, edited by
actual farmers, who live upon and
operate their own farms and are able
to put to the test Of experience all the
theories discussed In its columns.
The Farmer and StUUkman has
departments devoted to horticulture
poultry, dairying, sh, ep, veterinary.
laws effecting the farmer, the house.
hold, Sunday school and every
interest OF the western farmer; and
Its editorials cover every question
regarding soils, seeds, machinery,
methods of cultivation, breeding and
care of live stock, etc, in which The
farmers Of this section are interested.
The Farmer and Stoekman's COD.
trlhutors include the ablest and most
successful Of farmers, breeders and
experiment station workers In the
middle West II you are \ Farm
I'd otockmen srsdsi, you cauDo, tail
o De- up 70 date on all iarm questions:
aod ''FAru Furrows," .sHrnt.,
Devices, Suggestions, etc" and other
vainaole features, IRE an unfsilinp
source OF enterts;qment aud instruc
tion The Farmer and ~Stoctman i.
81 a year to Subscribers, and sub
Scorpions either srngly or IN conbi4a
ton with this paper, are taken at this
Office. With thi, psper sl.5O per
year Tor Goth
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1907-06-01
nlsmTFuLNEss o. LIE Mo-.

Adksd about the average age Of
the Georgia mule, Brother Dickey
salas
"Ne man kin tell En- De muls il
100 stubborn en- deodtful ~ ha can
1A wid your
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1907-06-01
Sour.


No appetite. loss Of strength. nervous
ness, headache, constipation. bad breath.
general debility, sour risings. and catarrh
Of tho stomach are all due to indigestion.
kodol relieves Indigestion. This new discov-
cry represents the natural juices Of diges.
lion as they exist In a healthy stomach.
combined with the greatest known tonic
and reeonsiructive pro- critics. Kodol for
dyspepsia does not only relieve indigestion
and dyspepsia. but this famous remedy
helps all stomach troubles by cleansing,
purifying, sweetening and strengthening
the mucous membranes lining the stomach.
Mr.. S. S, Ball Of Ravenswood, W, Va. sayss-
was troubled With sour stomach for twenty years.
Nodol cured mo and We arc now using II IN mia
for baby
Kodol Digests What You Eat.
Bottles only. Relieves INDIGESTION, sour stomach
beleking Of gas, etc.
Prepared by E. 0. DEWITT & CO.. CHICAGO
For sale by LEROY Farmer.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1907-06-01
TwicE-A-wEEk REPUBLIC
Three Years for One Dollar.

The Twice-A, Week REPUBLIC,of
St. Louis. Mo-, the Oldest and best
known semiweekly newspaper in the
United States, is making the remark
able subscription offer of three full
years for sl.OO, 3l2 e~ight-page papers.
The offer is COED until May 81, 1907,
only. Tell your friends of this oppor-
tuity to get a %semiweekly three whole
years for one 81. If you are already a
subscriber, your order will be accepted
now for a renewal to begin when your
present subscription expires. Remem-
Der, a dollar before June l pays for
three years.
Send all orders to the Republic. st.
Louis, Mo.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1907-04-27

needlecraft to the one following. The
modern whirlwind of events and hap
penings leaves but little time and pa.
thence to be devoted to such work.
The varied assortment of beaded
designs is divided into two definite
classes
For example, the bags designed in
quaint rustic landscapes are copied
from genuine antique examples.
The large, dashing forals, conven-
tional patterns and the art nouveau
designs are totally different from the
French flower baskets with posies, the
rustic landscapes, the medallion heads
While manufacturers have resurrected
antique designs, they have not been
idle creating styles following the pres
ent mode of decoration.
All manner of purses, card cases
and wrist bags with their long, slender
chains are found in bead patterns,
f1Orals or conventional treatment. The
forals are exquisitely done in natural
colors, besides the fashionable hues
of the season, so that the color of
ones gown or hat may be easily
matched. There is much favor being
shown to Pompadour roses, besides
the little, dainty Vatican patterns
Sprays and clusters Of roses, besides
elaborate French patterns with gar
lands of gold beads and ribbon effects.
run in contrasting color; in sold they
are quite new.
The backgrounds for all beaded
purses and bags are mostly light in
comparison to the pattern itself.
Elaborate effects are shown in the
fringes.
Conventional designs of graceful
outline are quite as much favored as
the floral patterns.
The mountings are widely varied;
some perfectly plain in dull or bright
finish, others with heavy mountings,
and still a more elaborate class are
incrusted with semi-precious stones,
the newest being uncut.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1907-04-27
NOVELTY in VIENNA
WEATHER BOOTHS A FEATURE
OF PUBLIC PARKS.
Beautiful Pagodas Show Time, Tenn
perature and Probabilities-Good
Idea That Is Worthy of
Abortion

In several of the beautiful parks of
the city of Vienna very interesting
weather towers or booths (Wetter-
hauschen) in the shape of a pagoda
can be seen, says the Scientific Amer
lean. In the Maria Josefa park, just
opened, is one shown in our engrav-
ing, which is distinguished from most
others by the number of meteorological
Instruments, and by very full data
and indications of general interest It
was made by Heinrich Kappeller,
from design by 1gnaz Fuchs. On
the front is an ingeniously construct
ed universal clock, designed and pat
ented by Prof. Lauda of Leitmeritz
and made in Vienna. This clock shows
the time in all the large cities of the
world. On the northeast side is an
immense atmospherical thermometer,
showing the temperature of the mo-
ment, while another beside it gives the
extremes of the "a hours past On
the northwest side is a new instru-
ment, namely, an electrical barometer,
which gives warning of impending
electrical storms. Beneath it is a me-
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1907-04-27
ROBBED DEAD OF RINGS.
Roumania Undertaken Confesses to
Systematic Pilfering.

An undertaken Of Bucharest, Rou-
mania, is under arrest for robbing the
dead; he gave himself up and de-
nounced himself as the meaneSt of
thieves. 1t is the custom in Rou-
mania to bury married people with
their marriage rings. This undertaken
made it practice to draw the rings
from the cold fingers just before the
lid was screwed on For many years
he melted up the rings and sold the
gold and silver, but Of late he had not
the courage to do SO since, according
to his statement, the corpses appeared
before him nightly in his dreams,
threatening dire things lest he return
the Jewels. Some SO rings we're turn.
ed over by the thief to the authorities.
His customers have petitioned the
minister of the interior to issue an
order for the unburial of their dead
relatives, robbed by the undertaken.
They demand that new wedding rings
be placed in the collins at the under
takers expense. The ignorant people
are afraid that man and wife will be
unable to recognize each other when
the trumpet blows unless they wear
their wedding rings.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1907-04-27
Luxury of Early Lettuce

The most popular of salad vege-
tables is lettuce. It is grown all the
year around, outside in summer and
in hotbeds or greenhouse in winter.
1t thrives best in loose, warm soil,
in a cool atmosphere. American
seedsmen divide it into two classes
cabbage or heading varieties, and
loose-leaved varieties. The former is
considered best for table use.
For early outdoor culture, the seed
should be soWn in February or
March in boxes or pans in a green
house, a glass covered frame or the
Kitchen. When the plants are estab-
lished they can be transplanted to
small pots or boxes filled with a rich
fibrous loan, and hardened by ex-
posing them in a glass covered frame
outdoors. When the weather permits
they should be set out in rich, we'll
prepared loan. Set them in rows a
foot apart, six or eight inches apart
in the rows. An application of nitrate
of soda will hasten the growth and
increase the size of the plants. The
soil Should be kept loose to conserve
the moisture. =, -. i. s IT,. ~
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1907-04-27
Weather Tower in Vienna.

neurological instrument, and from
these two weather prophets reliable
conclusions can be reached. On the
southeastern side is self-registering
barometer, by which the variations in
atmospheric pressure for an entire
week are recorded on strip of paper.
On the southwest side are two self
registering thermometers, protected
from the SUM- One shows the varia-
tons in temperature of the at
mosphere, the other the changes in
stratum of earth beneath the booth
some eight feet deep. The remain
ing space is filled with interesting me-
neurological data. The booth receives
much attention from visitors. The
idea of combining the useful with the
ornamental is a good one, and might
be followed to advantage in our pub
lie parks.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1907-04-27
NEW IDEA FROM PARIS.
Striped Jackets Are to Be Worn with
Plain Skirts.

A striking yet really practical adap-
tation of striped materials has just
been introduced by Paquin as his lat.
est Partisan noY&{ty in suits. Last
season, indeed, m6re or less for many
seasons, we have been accustomed to
the plaid skirt and plain jacket, but
this spring the noted Frenchman has
reversed the order of things and has
introduced a striped jacket to be worn
with plain skirts.
Not often has such a decided nov
city as this the merit Of being prac,
tical for the woman who cannot afford
to change her suits often, but this new
style is specially useful to just such
persons. There are comparatively
few girls or women who have not in
their wardrobe a white serge, flannel
or etamine skirt. If one selects to
wear with this a material not too
much of a contrast, which has a tiny
stripe, and has it made up either as
a long coat or as a short, dressy
jacket, she has whole suit that is
not only very good style, but is most
useful for cool or damp days through
the entire summer.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1907-04-27


amazed at her own fortitude "You
would feel far-happier-released.'
Il haven't changed in the least. I'm
a little bit worried over business he
disputed, gathering self-control and
therefore more responsiveness, as he
spoke. What have I done? What
seems to be the trouble? I am sur
prised at what you say It isn't like
YOU at all. Genesta. We wish to do
the Wisest thing, Of course but still
Il YOU insist upon our being mar
ried--'
Il don't insist-on anything" she
interrupted little brokenly. "Only,
Wesley-you have made me love you
So"
For a moment he had no reply. He
knew she was crying, though she
made no sound. He was angry with
Genesta, with himself, even with ia
Zaidee herself, who had come be-
tween them with::~ her witchery :: of
smiles.
But he could not endure to wound
Genesta further. A Wave-like remem-
brance Of the love. she had Weakened
IN his heart, before La Zaidee had
crossed the channel from Paris with
him made him feel himself coward.
He was not aware that La Zaidee
would be present, or he would GER
tainly have planned to attend Lena's
party alone. He did not know this
until they had come to the house, and
he beheld in a mirror reflection of
the gay, irresistible bit of American
folly, drollery and incandescence
whom the French had DISTINGUISHED
as La Zaidee.
Instantly the mans heart was
pitching like ship at sea. Again, as
he had hundred times before; he
saw himself borrowing money-bor-
rowing lavishly, and without the
knowledge of his chief-from the
huge sum of promoting capital so i'm
plicitly Entrusted to his care by the
man who had sent him abroad. The
old, old sophistry was working upon
him. One fling at the races, on the
tip La Zaidee had coaxed from the
little American jockey, and with
money enough to repay the loan. and
to fill his own pockets as we'll, he
could hold up his end with La Zaidee
to her hearts content.
Here, Wesley Snow, come on out
of this, and join the crowd,,' said the
voice of his hostess, Lena Dunning.
He found himself in the midst of a
laughing, joking, loud-talking party of
American dramatic and operate
globe trotters, all of them remarkably
at home in Lena's parlors.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1907-04-27
Dainty Evening ToiIettes,

Transparent fabrics are having a
greater vogue than ever for dinner
and reception toilettes, as we'll as for
dance dresses, and when mounted over
foundations of shimmering silk or sat-
in they acquire peculiar charm which
is not to be found in more substantial
fabrics. AS a rule, these are sold in
the form of robes with the skirts
ready shaped for mounting, and with
sufficient material for trimming a bod
ice en- suite, and the spangles or ap-
pliques are specially arranged to form
a handsome border round the skirt,
where the design is seen to the best
advantage, and all that remains to be
done is to mount the skirt in suit
able manner with plenty of foot frills
to hold it out at the hem, and to de-
sign an appropriate bodice, which will
be becoming to the fgure.-Ladies'
Pictorial.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1907-04-27

on horseback. At the other side OF
the pasture is the fine barn and abun-
dant feed of the proper kinds provid.
ed by John Thinkwell, who keeps a
really high-profit dairy, and has a
modern home for himself as we'll as
for his COWS. Here the high-produc-
ing COWS are known and thoroughly
appreciated; they go in and out and
find pasture and plenty. And here the
poor producers-cant stay.
These words are we'll weighed
and so should be the milk of every
dairy cow. weighed in the balance
and found wanting will then be said
of thousand times more dairy COWS
than of old-time kings. So true is the
Babcock test and SO badly needed in
Illinois that it may almost be said
that it's use will soon be test OF
the progressive dairyman himself
Science has given a simple and prac-
tical and proven test to the dairyman
and now the dairyman, as we'll as his
COW, is 'up to- the test.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1907-04-27

there is wide difference in the pro
duction of his COWS, and that part OF
the herd returns practically no profit
while another part is making him big
money. The latter is the kind of cows
he wants to do business with. But
first he must find out each part, each
cow-gets out of Guessland. 1t is just
as necessary to know this as to know
the COWS have not broken out of the
pasture and gotten into the corn.
The only way from Guessland to
Fact Pasture, where the dairyman
knows the annual production of each
is the way of the scales and test
There is no other way, but to weigh
and test the milk of each cow separ
ately. All estimates and guesses miss
the mark, and most of them miss it a
long way; they are absolutely unre
liable. This is agreed to by all the
dalrymen who have had practical ex
perience on both sides of this ques
ton. This testing brings many sur
prises to- the most experienced dairy
men. 1t is not only the most natural
and easy way, but it is absolutely the
only way to learn the facts.
While there is but one entrance tC
Fact Pasture there are two ways
out of it. One is the way tc
the slaughter house, and it is
astonishing how naturally and how
soon the poor producers find this way
out-with little help from the man
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1907-04-27
FROM GUESSLAND TO FACT
PASTURE "A PARABLE
Illustrating the Importance of Use
In Da1ry-By Prof WILDER j. Fraser,
University of Illinois.

The dairy COWS of Illinois, as we'll
as those of many other states, are
feeding in Guessland. The dairyman
simply guesses at the milk they give
and the money they make him. The
dairyman doesn't guess at the amount
of milk when he sells. He doesn't
guess at the amount of money he re-
ceives for it, but counts every penny
every, time. Then why should he
guess at the milk his own COW sells
him? But he does, right along, and
never thinks how unbusiness-like it
is. It is a poor rule that will not
work both ways.
Every single COW that does not pay
her board, or that returns too little
profit to be worth the time and in
vestment of the owner, cuts down the
profit of a good COW that much, and
reduces the average of the herd And
the records of this station indicate
that at least one-third of the dairy
cows in Illinois are in this poor class.
1t is reckless management and a real
shame to thus let the worthless COWS
squander the large earnings Of the
really fine animals to be found in al
most every herd. This is not safe
dairying. 1t would be regarded in
any other business as blind, thought
less speculation, or spendthrift ex-
travagance. There is no real business
in it. But that is the way hundreds