Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1907-08-02
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did understand you to say that
my appearance had improved" mo, |
l said you looked more like yourself"
Life.
Dear Robert, intend to share all
your cares" But, my pet, have no
cares" II mean after we are mar
ried. ."-Fliegende Blatter.
Briggs-My wife had birthday yes
terday, and we took a day off. Griggs
when mine has a birthday she takes
year off.-Cassell's Journal.
Hadsum-I want good revolver.
Dealer-A six shooter2 Hadsum-Bet-
ter make 1t nine shooter. It's for
a cat next door.-Ally Sloper.
do you know, my husband, had a
terrible habit of sleeping in church, but
he broke himself of 1t" "How?"
Gave up going g"-Sketchy Bits.
Teacher-What is a coal magnate,
Tommie? Tommie-I don't know,
madam; / only thought those things
come In cheese !-Yonkers Statesman.
Missionary-And do you know moth
ing whatever of religion? Cannibal-
Well, we got taste of 1t when the
last missionary was here.-Cleveland
Leader.
Roberts-Poor Williams died and left
wife and three children. Jones'
That's nothing. He was too mean to
take them anywhere when he was liv.
, ing.-Life.
Frlend-I suppose the baby Is fond
Of you? Papa-Fond Of me? Why he
sleeps all day when I'm not at home
, and stays up all night just to enjoy
, my society News.
Mrs. Backpay-G morning, sir
. VIII you take a chair? Installment
= House Collector-No, thank YOU
ma'am. I've come to take the piano.
! Philadelphia Record.
v First Thespian-And the audience
my boy, you should have seen them
e They were glued to their seats. Sec
ond Ditto-Ah, good way Of keeping
them there.-Bystander.
The Coming Guest-I see you charge
FIVE shillings for a room. When l wa.
+ here In December you only charged
Il three shillings day. The Landlady
It All, but the days are longer now
Sketch.
!. First Man-How do you do? Sec
8 ond Man-Beg pardon, but you have
l. the advantage of me. First Man-Yes
n l suppose l have. We were engaged
to the same girl; but you married her
u -Tit-Bits.
Suburban Host Ito unexpected sup
!. per guest)-Now then, Miss Hobson
will you have a little of this rabbi
Is pie or-er-or docking round and dis
n covering there Is no other dish)-o
!. not?-The Tattler.
" when l was coming home las
10 night" said Miss Skeery, 81 saw mai
skulking along in the shadow. Oh
W how ran!" "An' couldn't you catcl
u himf" inquired her little brother, In
10 ocently-Cleveland Leader.
II The Eldest Hope-Who's that, ma
His Fond Mama-'Ush, Grace, that
the gentleman that married me. Th
,e Eldest Hope-Then, II that's the gen
l. tleman wot married you, wot's pa do
'e ing in our house ?-The Sketch.
Visitor (to artists young wlfe) =
= - Whatever were you two laughing owe
y. 80 Just now? Wife-Oh, it was sucl
a fun My husband painted and l cook
ed, and then we both guessed what th
ID things were meant for.-Tatler.
is "A man who was charged at the VIII
,e esden police court with intoxica
> tion and using bad language PLEADED
:. guilty to the first part of the charge
+ adding: "As to the language, l know
ID nothing about that because I'm deaf.
a London Express.
L THAT young student upstairs mus
= have q tremendous correspondence
:. postman you always have letters TO
n him." "Yes; l. quarreled with hin
once, and ever since he sends himsel
r post card every day, SO | have t
1t mount FIVE flights of stairs to delive
it."-Tit-Bits.
;, Miss Withers-You are blushlnl
Coya! What was that clumsy partne
of yours saying? Miss Knisely-Of
L<xH4 hA NJ -,
t life seemed a desert to him. Mis-
Ir Withers-That Is no reason why
should waltz like a dromedary, Is 1t
n Town and Country.
I Don't take 1t so hard, Mr.. Play
20 man." said the young woman, mocl