davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-06-16
A CONSTANT ANNOYANCE.

HAT the nervousness. half the trri- taoLlity that Is SO common in every oSv A1e' Is really sickness, and in most cases Q condition that accomna- nies kidney trouble.
 It Is the work of the Kidney. +o Aeep the blood free from uric acid and psner poisons. but when the Kidneys are SICK and not doing their duty. the urtc @oto poison permeates the body. and etthcks body, brain and neryes The irritation causes nervousnees. trrits Nil ity' headache. dizzy spells; makes vou 1ahSulo, unit for work. and inclinad 70 worry over trifes. Besides. thers is nothing more annoying than A bad pack. and backache Is the most common sign Of kidney trouble. You feel lame and tired in the morning. suffer day and night with a dull aching in the back, and 1t hurts to stoop or bend or lift. 0'
 Keep your temper cool, and get the kidneys we'll No person can feel cheerful and healthy if the kidneys are the least bit affected. few doses of Doan's Kidney Pills. taken in the be ginning. will set the kidneys right.
 Continued treatment cures cases of long standing.
 Doan's Kidney Pills are for the kid neys only. and contain no poisonous nor habit forming drugs. They relieve congestion and inflammation of the kid. neys or bladder, heal and cure the kidney tissues. drive off dangerous uric acid poisons, dissolve and remove ravel
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-06-16
By F. P. DUNNE

VIII ye take jam or marmylade? Oh, dear I've made me fingers all sticky. Is that speck iv dirt on me pants? We'll, annyhow, don't go to bat till next Thursdah.' No. Sir; not for me.
 "Basebalrs all right, with tn pitch CT rollin' tn ban in tn mud an thin on his pants, an putin up his foot an his hands to tn same altytude an thryin' to sind tn ball so near tn bat ters' head that itIl scare him to death without hittin' him; an tn batter hav- in" tn alternytive iv hittin. tn ball with his club or lettin' it hit him on tn chin; his eye not bein' in, he chooses to be hit, an falls down un- conscious till tn empire says: Take ye'er base an thin gets up an runs down to first at a pace that wud've sint Wefer's hands above his head; an tn catcher Is pumpin' around lookin' like a submarine monster; an ivry man that goes down to sicond base leaps into tn lap iv tn shortstop with his spikes on: an fellow is behind third base thryin' to rattle tn pitcher be telIin' him all about his father; an tn catcher walks down an whispers somethin' in tn pitchers ear to steady him, an comes back an has a passed ball scoored against him; an tn man at tn bat catches tn next wan in tn eye, an sinds 1t into tn clubhouse; an tn ginteel crowd advises tn pitch CT that his job is still open fr him on tn dumps because tn boss knew tn kind fv a pitcher he was; an tn game is over, an we've won, an I get up me circulation be maxim tn pace TT a block or two fir frind iv mine that wants to tell tn umpire what he thinks iv him befure he can get to his car.
 "No, Sir, baseball ain't amy tea an'-mufins game. It's rale spoort. Why. Hogan tells me man can play cricket till he's old enough to De Prisidint iv a savings bank. He can play it an wear whiskers to his waist, an. he don't need to take off his stove- pipe hat onless he wants to. He can piay 1t as long as he can hold a cup or tea without spi1lin' 1t on his Hammer pants. But think iv man " slxty thryin' to play baseball with tn pro fissyonals. He might betther ship TT an arctic expedition. Baseball ike war, is rr tn boys. Whin man IS twinty-fiye they begin to call him old man Kelly whin he's thirty tn papers advise the aujience to be kind to him because he has seen betther days; he's not. nacherally, as spry as a young or middle-aged man, but base bali must be played with tn head as well as tn legs; an if he lives an holds down a job till thirty-five, they note that his intellect is wabblin' tn same as his knees, an rayspictfully suggist that he go off somewhere an curl up an die"
 Its rough game, said Mir. Hen- messy, "but 1t ain't as bad as 1t looks An it's good natured. although ye wudden't think SOL
 Its like life" said Mir. Dooley, "or annyhow, like life in America"
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-06-16

his bedroom door awakened a New Yorker who was sleeping within.
 What is it?" asked the New Yorker, drowsily.
 q just wanted to see if you were in, was the innocent reply.
 Everyone who heard of the Incident expected to see fur fly when the New Yorker came down to breakfast. kiid on my slumbers would meet severe rebuke," he said. as he took his seat at the table, " but it's so long since I've had anyone interested enough in me to care whether I was in or out that smiled and went back to sleep"
 Weather" was the topic at the meet ing of the cracker barrel cabinet, and the meeting being held on the first Monday after the first Sunday in June, the topic wasn't dry one, either.
 You never saw a summer like it, said the new member, scion of a farm CT family! to the oldest member, whose locks were gray.
 But at home in my trunk I have evil dence that there was another year as bad for the farmers as this has neWspaper news @ T published a in the @ faii II of n 1sis @ which had a column article, headed, A Year Without a Summer The article tells how the farmers clubbed together that year to grow enough for their own consumption-just enough to keep them from starving during the winter. They gathered up brush and heaped it high on all sides of the corn fields, and on whatever side the wind would blow from at night they would light a ire and let the wind carry the heat over the corn. In this way they defied the almost nightly frosts and saved enough of their crops to keep from starving.
 T have a good weather story of my own," added Ananias Jones, the new member of the cabinet, ''but this ter sey paper has me licked to a finish. Nothing to say"
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-06-16

What are you going. to do?" Mars ton questioned as he handed 1t to her.
 T am going to telegraph to Deer ing" she said. T told him that would say yes or no by telegraph" Marston went white.
 Don't do anything rash, Helen, he warned.
 T shall do as I please" said Miss Carstairs, ani he leaned back and snapped out, "Oh, of course." She sat with the pencil poised "I wish you'd toss a penny for me-" she said at last "Heads I do it-~tails I don't"
 q will do nothing of the kind"
 "Oh, well, don't She scribbbled a nasty word and reached for the bell. But Marston stopped her. What have you writtenT he demanded sternly. The other passengers were growing speculative as to the actions of the handsome young couple. Helen, sud- denly conscious of their observation, commanded:
 Go up there and get me one of my boxes of candy and some fruit. People | will think you are proposing to me" 'T am-will you marry me, Helen?'' Not until you get my candy" He came back staggering under Deerings hamper and passed the DOT ter going out with telegraph blank | in his hand.
 And then Helen waited. A half hour passed-three- quarters. She grew wor ried Did he care enough to hurt him | self in any way? It wasn't like Rich ard to kill himself for disappointed | love.
 She rose and went through the train. The eyes of the other passengers fol- | lowed her. She walked with ease and | lightness, from the topmost wave of | her brown hair to the tip of her ian boot. she was absolutely correct, mod ish, beautiful.
 She found Marston on the observa- tion platform, with his eyes fixed on the shining rails that seemed to slip from beneath the train to end in the sunset.
 | As she came up behind him, she saw something in his face that touched her with tenderness. She dropped her hands on his shoulders. "Oh, little bad boy" she said, "you read the telegram" Don't joke he said hoarsely. T am punished enough" "If you had not been so--so imperti- nent" Miss Carstairs informed him, T should have told you before that l promised Deering to wire whether l | had decided toto marry you-not whether was going to marry h'm!" Marston gazed at her in dazed way "Then your yes meant"
 That I am going to marry you lit- tle bad boy" said Miss Carstairs, cool
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-06-16
MRS. SADIE ABBOTT

Women for the most part spend their lives at home, and 1t is these women who are willing and ambitious that their homes shall be kept neat and pretty, their children well dressed and tidy, who do their own cooking, sweeping, dusting and often washing, ironing and sewing for the eunFe family, who call for our sympathy.
 Truly the work of such Q woman is "uever done" and is it any wonder that she breaks down at tho end of Q few years, the back begins to ache, there is a displacement, infammataoa or alteration of the abdominal organs, Q female weakness Is brought on, and the struggle of that wife and mother to continue her duties IS piMful. , Lydia B. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, made from native roots and herbs, is the exact medicine woman needs whose strength is over taxed. It keeps the feminine organs in a strong and healthy condition. In preparing for childbirth and re- cuperating therefrom 1t is most efti- cient. It carries woman safely through the change of life and in making her strong and well assasts her to be a good wife and mother.
 Mrs. Sadie Abbott, of Jeannette, Pa, writes
 Dear Mrs Rinkham--
 q suffered severely with pain every month and also pain in my left side. My doctor prescribed for me but did me no good; friend advised Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound and 1 wrote you in regsrd to my condition. followed your adyice and am a perfectly well woman. The mains have aa disappeared and l cannot recommend your medicine too highly"
 Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Con
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-06-16

and rid the body of all watery waste
 Thousands of cures prove the merit of Doan's Kidney Pills. Here is a case at home.
 A MONTGOMERY CASE.
 IT. Shinbaum. Optical Specialist, livs ing at 8 Bell Street, Montgomery, Ala, says: T was for three months hardly able to go about I suffered from kid. ney disease and rheumatism, had ins tense pains across my kidneys and in my limbs. Some times the pain would be so bad that could not sleep at night and my kidneys were disordered. the seoretions if left standing, depositing a reddish sediment When I rose in the morning I would be tired out and my back and joints so stiff that it was misery to bend or stoop. used a number of rheumatic remedies and also tried plasters on my back, but was not relieved. When I commenced using Doan's Kidney Pills I was in bad shape physically. but l soon began to improve and in a short time I was all right again. The kidney disturbance, the aching pain in my kidneys and the pains in my joints completely left mo 90 that at the present time I am in good health. My health has improved wonderfully since I was cured of this kidney disease. for I have since learn" cd that rheumatism Is due to kidney trouble. I have a good appetite and have increased in weight almost twen- ty pounds Doan's Kidney Pills have my sincerest endorsement.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-06-16

cause he cudden't make change while actin as chief clerk iv an I am blind emporyum (with music.) He cuddent see tn space between New York an Liverpool. He thinks they're just tn same. If he iver thries to board sthreet car on tn same judgmint that he uses fir decisions at bases he'll get dent in his little head thatn enable him to wear his hat upside down "itn- out havin' it blow of. But in spite " ivrything, includin' tn action or tn polls in blockin' plays be three or four hundred iv our assistant third base men armed with knives, tn gang firm tn corner come through on tn rail. Tn, game was a horror firm tn moment whin little old Billy Wappus lashed tn principal headstone with tn can- non cracker till Boggsy trotted acrost Schwartz shingles with tn ice picks on his feet. In tn first Corkey bin- goed McGrassco toddled. Two less than anything were sung on Bing- stat be tn on1 empire iver born in tn mammoth cave iv Kentucky although tn balls were found in a dhrug store acrost tn street afther th'game. Tn next wan was as moist as tn fure iv tn office iv tn Thransit House af- ther a cattleman's convintion, but it must've looked to tn boy at tn gate as big as a sheep dog comin' out iv q dhrain. He caught 1t where tn med ulla oblongata joins tn collar button, an 1t wint away to return no more.' An there ye ar-re. picture in sim pie language.
 Its a rough game these days" said MT Hennessy.
 Tt is that" said Mir Dooley "Tt has deginerated sadly. I'm in thorough sympathy with tn iditor iv tn North Westhren Christian Advocate, who wants 1t suppressed It ain't tn ginteel game 1t was in my days. In thim far gone times baseball was tn spoort iv gintlemen an was watched be gintle- men. Whin our fathers left their clubs an wint down to tn baseball park, an took off their coats an collars, they knew they were goin' to spind an af- thernoon in tn quiet enjymint iv a con- test iv gintlemeply skill an good na- ture. There was no rowdyism in thim days. No, sir. Tn best people in town wint to tn games an cheered be erwin, Here, here,' excellent or played. in- deed,' or sometimes in moments iv gr-reat excitement. Kill tn speckled- faced, cross-eyed pickpocket. kill him. Tn polls were not necessary to protect tn empire. In fact, they weren't ad- visable. In spite iv his unyform polisman is but man afther all. No; sir, tn empire was perfectly safe If he survived tn game an left tn grounds first In thim days tn empires were very supeeryor class iv men. In or dher to qualify fir tn position they had to go through tn pompier dhrill iv climbin' fences undher tn instruction iv a competent fireman.
 The audiences were always fair an spoorts-lovin'. They sildom hisscd decision whin wan iv tn home players was caught fifteen feet oft base.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-06-16
MR. COOLEY ON THE DECAYO OF BASEBALL

xCopyright, 1907, by H. H. Mcclure &
 T wint to see a baseball game yis- terdah." said MT. Hennessy. Have ye seen wan lately?'
 NO" said MT. Dooley, but l read about thim. An they're good readin'. :. Next to tn chess games they're about th' best readin find in tn papers fr tn brain. They take thought an a Knowledge iv tn wurruld, but wanst ye apply we're mind to thim ye don't have to go tn game to injye it. You, Hinnissy, pay a lot iv good money an spind a whole afthernoon in tn snow iv a bitter Summers day, while stay at home here dhrinkin' hot things, smokin a good seegar an seein' tn spoort as plainly befure me eyes as if I ownded h. ball club an cud set on tn players bench. Here 1t is: The hosiery display delivered tn en- tire fruit stand. includin' a cornucopy if checkerberries, an tn gasoline torch to tn alleged Desperadoes yisterdah afthernoon befure twinty thousand feather heads who wept, groaned, moaned an sighed ontil if tn whole faculty iv medicine had been in tn aujience they wud've fainted firm ex- haustion putin sthrait jackets oa tn paretics. Tn chilly cillybrated star board whip iv Juggs Doheny, tn salivary glandaytor iv tn Thugs was ell to'rd tn fleet, an tn empire, cer- tain Misther F1icks, whose eysight niver will be improved till the main squeeze iv tn Junta makes him look fr another job, threated tn slapless miracles as though they were Chinese sthrike breakers in San Francisco.
 "sThis ornymint iv tn joodicyal sta ton lost his ony previus position be-
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-06-16

"Ohw Helen's sense Iof importance had departed Suddenly she felt i'm measurably insignificant, but this feel ing was succeeded by one of intense indignation.
 Of all ithingsr' she calculated.
 Well, I know it's unusual for a man to withdraw proposition of that kind in ten minutes, and I know, I said some pretty insistent things just be- fore the train left, but I've changed my mind. It's usually a woman's prerog- ative," was his easy way of getting out of 1t, but this time it's mans and I've changed my mind" For the first time in her life Miss Carstairs could not meet the situation She simply sat there with her cheeks burning and hated him. | Curiosity getting the better of her however. she asked:
 But why?'
 That thing" Marston said succinct- | ly, and nodded towards the hamper "to think you could take a thing like that from-Deering." Miss Carstairs fel. better. She could meet jealousy. "But I couldn't help 1t. could I?' was | her innocent query. T couldn't tell the porter to drop the basket on the platform.
 But I was so sure you had turned him down." Marston complained. Pos itive1y, you know-over at the Break CTS last night. atfer the dance." T tried to-" And couldn't" She nodded.
 "Too many inducements? Country house, town house. trips to Europe, di- | amonds-oh. Lord" Marston groaned as he finished the catalogue.
 "No,'' she turned from him to a con- temptation of the scenery. and for a time they rode in silence passing be- yond the long line of palms to the or. ange groves-brilliant stretches of vel low and green that filled the car with the fragrance of wedding bouquets. Suddenly Marston flung out, What was it that kept you from turning him down positively, Helen?" She leaned forward and spoke with conviction:
 T might do worse than marry Deer | ing"
 "A pork packer?'
 Its better to marry a pork packer than to have nothing to pack, the in-
 ormed him.
 Marston fixed her with stern eye
 q tell you right now, Felen," he said. that I won't run this race in competition with Deering. I don't trot in the same class. You can give him up or give me up" Helen reached over and touched the electric bell. twill you bring me some telegaph blanks?" she said to the DOT ter when he came.
 And now will you lend me pencilT she asked Marston as she futtered :he leaves of the yellow pad.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-06-16

But they were stern as well as just, an they properly riprimanded certain thievin' burglarious, porch -climbin', bribe- -talxin' ruffyans who had. undher position iv empire. Tn front rows iv tn fifty cint seats used to be occupied by club men who had whiled away tn mornin' hours in tn rollin' mills. an come over to spind a quiet afshernoon in tn sunshine watchin' tn aaytional game. A pretty picture they made in their red flanned undhershirts, fannin' thimsilves with copies r tn Polls Ga- zette. They were usually quiet an laughin' remarks about tn empires family; but whin a ra-aly unjust de- cision occurred, or what looked like an unjust decision firm where they sat, their proud natures asserted thim- silves. They did what amy other American, whether he wears his un- dhershirt outside or inside. wud do. They hoped over tn railin' an stamped on tn perjured offlcyal.
 Thin were tn days whin we had local pride We loved tn boys that fought so nobly fir their home city, an we hated tn scoundhrels that come firm afar to wrest their lorls firm thim. It was a grand thing to have our home village reprisinted be tn flower iv it's atheleets. la-ads that had larned tn game on tn prairies an va cant lots tv tn west side, an were pre- pared to do or die in definse iv tn honor iv Chicago. I always had spe- cyal delight, Hinnissy, whin they hu- milyated an degraded tn haugthy New York team, which they often did. I'm glad to say, an are still doin', thank hiven. An whin tn long season was over. an tn heart burnings were at an end whin tn last little boy had gone into tn grounds in ch ninth in ming on a ball knocked over tn fence. a tn hast stick iv gum had been chew ed, an tn penant floated firm tn flag staff in Michigan Aynoo. or was car ried back in triumph to tn East. tn Chicago team packed It's thrunks an wint home to New York, an tn New York team come home to Chicago fr tn Winter.
 "A little later ye'd read in tn papers 'McGaw, tn star twirler iv tn Chicago White Stockings, may not return to tn game. He has been offered tn Tam many nommynation in tn fourth dis thrict, where he was born an brought up' Or, Flannery, tn demon batsman iy tn Joynts, has taken tn manage ment iv his brothers caffy in Bloc Is- land Avnoo fr tn Winter. I niver knew a ball player that lived within hundherd miles iv tn place where he dhrew his pay check. Be hivens, twin ty years ago felt tn same hathred f'r tn Saint Looey Browns in tn Summer that used on tn British Governmint In Winter. am not a man iv vi'lent dis likes, but used to say a short prayer that their thrain might mercifully be permitted to jump into ditch on their way up on their neefaryous mission iv humilyatin our gallant team explained
The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-06-16

be loyal son iv Chicago firm Ioway, with star players firm Jersey City an Yonkers. I didn't want thim kilt. dye mind? wasn't that bad, befure tn game. But wanted thim shaken up a little so that the pitcher wud have a pain in his back ivry time he thried to sind over an in-shoot. An while I was feelin' this way about tn foreign scum firm Saint Looey, tn pitcher iv tn Browns ownded shoe store in Madison Sthreet, an cud be seen amy Winters day on wan knee with a button-hook in his hand, an tn father iv tn Captain iv tn Browns was an old frind iv mine an held job in tn City Hall
 Its scand'Ious tn way tn games ar-re wrote up in tn papers. I agree with me frind iv tn North Western Chrfsvyan Advocate that thim young fellows that write about baseball ar're mutylatin' tn language. In my day twas diffrent Tn iditors wud not disgrace their callin' be speakin' iv a pitchers arm as his port propeller They were more dignified, an always alluded to 1t as tn south joist.' They niver roasted tn empire in tn lan- guage now employed. But whin he was radically wrong. an it cud be aisly seen that he was purchased. they simply remarked that tn aujience showed great resthraint in merely chokin' him: in less cultivated com munities they wud've made his map look as though Napolyeon Bonypart had been workin' on 1t.
 Thin wer the days iv baseball I'm an old vethren spoorts lover I'll bet I've ct more bags iv peanuts an emptied an threw more bottle iv pop than amy man at tn game yisterdah. Why. me boy I can raymimber whin Al Spalding pitched f'h tn Rockfords. Will ye think iv that? I raymimber Charlie Radbourne: raymimber whin Worchester an Providence were in tn league: I raymimber Will White play in with spectacles on; see Silver Flint get his first bad finger: I was atin' popcorn in tn grand stand whin Cap Anson was thried out at third base. an lived to see him called Pop an thin 'Granpop,' an fin'lly become wan iv tn Elder Statesmen iv Chicago. I'm tn oldest livin' survivor iv tn game. an wan iv tn things I like about it is 1t ain't lawn tennis, an 1t ain't cut outs firm tn Sundah Supplement. an 1t ain't cricket.
 Its baseball, that's what 1t is Ye bet ye. Did ye iver see a game iv cricket? They tell me it lasts three days. or ontil tn tea gives out. Ivry time a man hits tn ball he gets a cup iv tea. There was a man in Eng land last year that had a score iv two hundred an fifty basins iv bohea, an was not declared out ayether be tn empire or tn doctor. Think iv tn tent afther Whats his name had soak ed tn spit-ball out iv the lot an gath erin around tn tea table That was an excellent slap ye gave, Mike Thank ye, Terry; will ye have a saucer of Young Hyson? I will, with pleasure.