davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-06-15
AN OLD EDITOR
Found $1,000 Worth Of Food.

The editor of a paper out in Okla,
said: Yes, II is true when ! got hold
OF Grape-Nuts food, It was worth
more than $4,000 doctor bill to me,
for 1t made me a we'll man. | have
gained 20 pounds in weight, my
strength has returned tenfold. my
brain power has been given back to
me, and that is an absolute essential,
for l am an editor and have been for
35 years.
my pen shall always be ready to
speak good word for this powerful
nutritive food. ! had Of course often
read the advertisements regarding
Grape-Nuts, but never thought to APP
ply the food to my own use, until, in
my extremity and sickness the thought
came to me that II might fit my case,
The statements In regard to the food
are absolutely correct, as have proven
in my own case, One very fortunate
thing about the food is that while It is
the most scientifically made and high
ly nourishing, concentrated food have
ever known. 1t has 30 delicious taste
that Il wins and holds friends"
There's a Reason" Read "The Road
to MELVILLE" in pkgs.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-06-15
Made for Fat Men.

One of the narrow arches in the
gallery of the chapel at Columbia uni.
versity is not exactly symmetrical al
though the defect is not noticeable to
the casual observer, says the New
York Globe. The reason for the wild
ening of the arch after its original con.
struction had rise In somewhat
humorous occurrence. One OF the
early visitors was remarkably fat
man, who found himself wedged into
the arch when he tried to squeeze
through and was extricated with din
Guilty. The builders, recognizing the
possibility Of other fat people being
numbered among the future visitors
decided to widen the arch, sacrificing
symmetry and harmony to practical
need. as the pier was so constructed
as to bear no loss Of width on one OF
ITS sides.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-06-15
Preparing for II.

Prof. NJ. /. Pupin, the famous cleo
trical expert, told at the dedicatory
banquet of the new woman's club the
Colony, In New York, an appropriate
story.
THE excellence of this repast," he
said, brings to my mind story about
a man whose repasts were by no
means excellent
This man lived in my native town
of Idvor, and he was noted for his par
simony. Let us call him Mr.. Smith.
There was an old major In ldvor
who said to his valet one evenings
go and tell the cook to get me
ready chop and poached egg
Pardon me, major said the valet
but have you forgotten that you are
dining with Mr.. Smith to-nightT'
The major frowned.
Yes he said, I had forgotten 1t
Tell the cook to make It two chops
and two poached eggs.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-06-15
LAST DAYS OF GREAT POETS.
Bliss Perry Writes Of the Passing Of
Thomas Bailey Aldrieh.

On the day when he last entered
the Atlantic office. in January, Mr..
Aldrich seemed for the first time, to
have grown old. One OF his friends
spoke of II as he went out. Up TIL
that morning, the weight of 70 years
had scarcely seemed to touch the
erect, jaunty figure. The lines that
time had written around his clear
blue eyes and Arm mouth conveyed no
hint of senility. His hair was scarce
iy gray. His voice. slightly husky
In it's graver, sweeter tones, re-
tanned delicious youthful crisp
ness as It curled and broke, wave-like
Into flashing raillery. He had Just
completed his poem for the Longfel'
low centenary, his first verse after
some years Of silence. and when II
wis praised to his face-for who could
help praising it?-he blushed with
pleasure like a boy. Yet he had
passed three-score and ten, and the
shadow. invisible as yet and quite un'
heralded. was drawing very rear
Bliss Perry. In Atlantic,
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-06-15
ECZEMA COVERED BABY.
Worst Case Doctors Ever saw-suf-
fered Untold Misery-Perfect
Cure by Cuticura Remedies.

"My son, who is now twenty-five
years of age. when four months old
began to have eczema on his face.
spreading quite rapidly until he was
nearly covered. The eczema was some
thing terrible, and the doctors said 1t
was the worst case they ever saw. At
times his whole body and face were
covered, all but his feet. used many
kinds of patent medicines, to no avail.
A friend leased me to try Cuticura.
At last I decided to try Cuticura when
my boy was three years and four
months old. having had eczema all that
time and suffering untold misery. l
began to use all three of the Cuticura
Remedies. He was better In two
months: in six months he was we'll.
Mrs. r. l.. Risley, Piermont, N. H..
Oct. "a, 1906"
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-06-15
cheapens and Improves Coal.

Consul General w. r. Holloway. Of
Halifax, says that the Canadian COM
mercial agent at Manchester. England,
reports an invention at that place for
depriving soft coal Of its most objec-
tionable feature by abstracting the
oils said to produce smoke. and call
ing the resulting article "coalite."
which is something like coke In ap-
pearance and which can be furnished
at one-third the present cost Of coal.
Five acres of land near Manchester
have been purchased. and large works
will be erected for its production
United States Consul Reports.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-06-15

With the object OF encouraging the
pupils OF the Farnham grammar school
TO spend their recent holiday in the
open air as much as possible, the Rev.
s. Priestley, the head-master. offered q
prize to the boy who returned to
school with the brownest face. On the
pupils reassembling for the summer
term IL were picked out as, being the
most tanned. and 1t was announced
that the judges had awarded the prize
20 Foster, the captain Of the school.
1t Is understood that Foster dee ines
20 divulge to the other boys the secret
of his preparation. II any.-London
Globe
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-06-15
CHOICE OF TWO EVILS.
Request That Was by No Means .
Compliment for Papa.

A New York scientist, the father Of
a large and growing family, has his
troubles. One evening his youngest
was holding forth In her best style.
The mother could do nothing with the
child, SO the man of science went to
the rescue.
II think | can quiet little Flora" he
said. There's no use humming to her
in that silly way. What she wants Is
real music The fact that | used to
sing in the Glee club at Yale and sang
well, too, may make difference"
Accordingly, the professor took the
child and, striding up and down the
room, sang in his best manner. He
had not finished the second verse OF
his song. when ring was heard. The
door was opened, and there stood a
girl Of IA, who said
I'm one of the family that's just
moved into the fiat next to yours.
There's a sick person with us, and he
says, II it's all the same to you, would
you mind letting the baby cry instead
of singing to it?"-Success.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-06-15
Memento for President plax.

With simple but impressive cere-
mony President Diaz was presented
with the military painting portraying
the action Of his command in the bat
tie of Puebla against the French
forces in the war of the invasion.
The painting, which was the work Of
the artist Francisco de p. Mendoza, a
professor in the national school of fine
arts and OF the military college, was
executed at the request Of the gov
errors Of ~ Mexican states. and was
presented as a personal gift to the
chief magistrate. The painting repre-
sents Gen. Diaz in action in the glo-
rious battle which won fame for the
Mexican forces. and at the moment
when the forces under the direct
command Of Gen. Diaz saved the day.
Mexican Herald.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-06-15
Insanity.

II has commonly been said that
lunacy was increasing in the modern
world. But Mr.. Noel Humphreys in
his paper read before the Statistical
society proclaims the theory that
lunacy is not increasing at all Ac-
cording to his ingenious statement the
apparent increase Is due not to the
growth Of lunacy, but to the growth
of the care OF lunacy. To put the mat
ter shortly, he holds that 1t Is not so
much that there are more madmen,
but that there are more mad doctors.
Substantially, his case appears very
sound. There can be little doubt that
many men are now put in asylums
who would In previous ages have been
allowed to wander In the meadows or
to play about the streets. There can
be little doubt that many men are
now called insane who In other times
would merely have been called
wicked. and II is possible that many
are now called madmen who In other
times would merely have been called
saints.
The only question Is whether this
scientific harvest of all the lunatics
alive is so great an improvement as II
looks. There can be no doubt that
the wise men have come from all the
ends of the earth to capture the vii
lage idiot. who once danced without
having bricks thrown at him.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-06-15
The Modern Chaperon.

There are signs Of the return OF the
chaperon. The younger generation
has tried jumping into the social swim
all alone-without the comfort OF the
rope-and she has sometimes found
herself In deep water and difficulties.
But the chaperon of old is no longer
old.
We have developed the married
woman who has attained the art OF
preserving youth, She is no longer
the dragon with fearsome side curls
and truculent view Of any insistent
young man. She is simply the com
panion on the shore who holds rope
attached to the novice who is In for
her first swim
The new chaperon pays out the
rope pretty freely, and is generally
looking the other way, But there she
Is on the bank. She is a married WON
an, the girl can appeal, Just as a mar
gives the address of his banker Sher
questions are asked as to ability tG
pay rent. Rope, lifesslt--such u thu
chaperon,
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-06-15

Early in the nineteenth century
about so per cent Of the male work.
ers of the United States were employ.
ed on farms. During the last century
the efficiency Of labor has been so in
creased by the farm implements and
machines that have come into use,
that, at the present time. about 30
per cent. of the male workers OF that
nation produce the food and fiber OF
the ountry. and furnish an enormous
surplus. which is exported to other
countries. Engineer.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-06-15
sANsHEE OR DEATH WRATH.
This 10 One Of the Oldest and Mos,
Respectable Ghosts.

One OF the Oldest and most respect
which may be regarded as a near rela
tive Of the death wrath" inasmuch
as II gives warning of impending
death by uttering lamentable walls,
says Lippincott's. Some families take
great pride in the possession Of such
"spooks." good example of which is
described by Mrs. Levey Of Castle
terrace, London, who writes: THE
night when my mother lay dying was
one of great pain. At about nine
o'clock there came a fearful wall of a
woman's voice. as II swaying to and
fro past the windows. ran to the
window, but no human being could
be there, as the room was two flights
up and no houses near She died at
1880 p. m. My father and family sat
at dinner on the evening of February
4, 1868, when the same fearful cry
or wall filled our house. At eight
O'Clock next morning my youngest
brother died quite suddenly. The
same thing happened on my fathers
death in 1887. likewise on the death
of my sister in 1889, and on the death
of another brother In 1890" This
,banshee seems to have been rather
out Of place in London. such wailing
ghosts (which are not seen and can
not therefore be properly termed ap'
paritions) being especially domesti'
Gated in Ireland where they are usual
ly associated with dilapidated castles
and an impoverished and long-de.
scended gentry.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-06-15
Our Queer Sense Of Aumor.

Americans have strange sense OF
humor, don't you know" began the
Englishman. The othah day, for ex.
ample, l went into a restaurant with
a friend and he awsked for sinkahs. |
was surprised to see them bring him
three biscuit Of some sort or othah.
Again at anothah time I dined with
him at a table d'hote cafe. He said
to the waiter, Bring us a couple OF
bottles OF pink ink What the waiter
brought him, don't you know, was two
bottles of red wine.
Really, 1t is very strange, the
American sense Of humor. You catch
onto my meaning?"-N. Y. Press.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-06-15
PAT SET ONLY ONE LIM,T.
Would Quit When He Was Done With
All Things Earthly.

A rich man out in the suburbs who
owns a large place has among the
many people employed to keep 1t in
shape an Irishman of whom he is par
ticularly fond on account Of his un-
conscious wit, says Harper's Weekly.
This Irishman is something of hard
drinker, and, as his income is limited,
he is more particular as regards the
quantity than the quality Of his
liquids. The other day the employer,
who had been awaiting good oppor.
tunity, remarked in kind tone, as
the closing sentence Of friendly lee.
ture:
Now, Pat, how long do you think
you can keep on drinking this cheap
whiskey?"
To which Pat instantly replied;
"All my life. II 1t doesn't kill me-
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-06-15
Wants the Rod Restored.

The Shanghai Times editor says:
The jail has been we'll administered,
but is fuller than 1t should be, due, l
fear, to the abolition Of the cangue
and bamboo. The ordinary criminal
has no great objection to repeated
short visits to the Jail, but shrinks
from a repetition of corporal punish
ment Punishment with the bamboo
is in vogue throughout China, and
here only has 1t by special edict been
abolished We depreRate the Chinese
authorities making this settlement a
field for experiment, and will press
for the reintroduction OF this salu'
tary method of punishment.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-06-15
Wonderful Enalneerlna Work.

The admirable accuracy OF the work
Of civil engineers of the best class is
shown in the wonderfully slight devi-
alton OF the great Simplon tunnel from
the calculations of the men who
planned It and executed the work.
The tunnel is 12k miles long. 1t
proved 81 inches longer than 1t was
expected to be. When the two head
ings came together in the depths of
the mountain their levels were less
than 81 inches apart.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-06-15
Poor Orphans.

Two OF the young friends of Bishop
Wilberforce OF oxford gave, the author
tiles OF the university so much trou'
BILE that they won the nicknames Of
Hophni and Phinehas. One day they
were lounging about the hall at Cud
densdon palace, singing the Lutheran
refrain: THE Devil is Dead, when
the bishop suddenly appeared He
walked very gently up TO them, and In
his most caressing manner, placing
one hand on each head, said In con-
solatory tone; Alas, poor orphans! y"
youths Companion,
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-06-15

| was running down
with kidney trou-
BILE without know
ing what 1t was,
and finally got so
bad l was given up.
The urinary pas
sages were painful,
sometimes scanty
and again very pro-
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-06-15
AFRAID OF PARALYSIS
A NERVOUS SUFFERER CURED
BY Oh. WILLIAMS PINK PILLS.
Tho Medicine That Makes Rieh, Asa
Blood and Performs Wonders 80
Tonic for the Nerves.

Why are nervous people invariably
pale people?
The answer to that question explains
can cure nervous troubles.
II explains why DIR. Williams Pink
Pills for Pale People arc also for nervous
people.
It is because of the intimate relation
between the red corpuscles in the blood
and the health of the nerves. The
nervous system receives its nourishment
through the blood. Let the blood be.
come thin, weak and colorless and the
nerves are starved--the victim is started
on the road that leads to nervous wreck.
Nervous people are pale people-but the
pallor comes first. Enrich the blood
and the nerves are stimulated and toned
up to do their part of the work of the
body. DIR. Williams Pink Pills make
red blood and transform nervous, irrit.
able, ailing people into strong, energetic,
forceful men and women.
Mrs. Harriet K. Porter, of 20 Liberty
avenue, South Medford, Mass, says:
81 had never been well from child
hood and few years ago I began to
have dizzy spells. At such times could
not walk straight. I was afraid of
paralysis and was ON the verge Of
nervous prostration. Then neuralgia
set in and affected the side of my face.
The pains in my forehead were excru
ciating and my heart panied me so that
my doctor feared neuralgia of the heart
/ tried several different kinds of treat.
ment but they did me no good.
Zone day my son brought me some OF
DR.. Williams Pink Pills and I found
that they strengthened my nerves. !
took several boxes and felt better in
every way. There were no more dizzy
attacks, the neuralgia left me and have
been well woman ever since"
DR.. Williams Pink Pills are invaluable
in anemia, rheumatism, after effects Of
the grip and fevers and in sick head.
aches, nervousness, neuralgia, and even
partial paralysis and locomotor ataxia.
Our booklet NERVOUS Disorders, q
Method Of Homo Treatment +" will be
sent free on request to anyone interested.
Write for it today.
DR.. williams Pink Pills are cold BY
all druggists, or will be sent, postpaid,
on receipt of price, 80 cents per box, six
boxes for $3.50, by the DR.. williams
Medicine Company, Schenectady, N. 7
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-06-15
The Business Instinct.

A party of tourists were visiting the
ancient landmarks Of England, accord
ing to a writer in the New Orleans
Times Democrat, and their guide was
supplying them with valuable historic
facts.
This tower" he remarked, goes
back to William the Conqueror."
why, what's the matter?" inquired
one of his listeners. Isn't 1t satisfac-
tory?"
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-06-15

fuse. My limbs, feet and ankles bloat.
ed dreadfully, and sometimes my
whole body. My heart palpitated and
had smothering spells. A weeks
treatment with Doan's Kidney Pills
helped me and few boxes cured me.
At 6S / am strong and we'll"
Sold by all dealers. so cents box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-06-15
How's This?

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for any
ease OF Catarrh that cannot be cured BY Halls
Catarrh Cure.
FL. CHENEY q CO., Toledo, o.
We. the undersigned, have known r. j. Cheney
for the last IS years and believe HIN perfectly hon
orabie In all business transactions and financially
able to carry out any obligations made ~ his nrm.
wALDINa. KisNAs 4 MARVIN,
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo. o.
Hairs Catarrh Cure 10 taken internally, acting
directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces Of the
system. Testimonials sent free. Price IS ceuts pen
bottle Sold by all Druggists.
Take Hairs Family Pills for constipation.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-06-15
BibuIous.

He has his faults, of course" said
the friend, but he is an ambitious
poet He would serve the muses. all
his life"
Very likely" replied the critic
But he makes the mistake Of Guppos-
Ing that Bacchus is one of the muses."
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-06-15
His Usual NIahtIy stunt.

81 must not listen to you, Mr.. Pen.
nyaline," protested the blushins girl.
with eyes downcast. You are only
trifling and-and. besides, it is get
ting late"
please hear me out, Miss Helen"
pleaded the infatuated young report
err; I'll cut 1t down to $50 words. -
Roselaaf
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-06-15
Amendment Not Accepted.

Mrs. Jagaway-I wish knew where
my husband was.
Mrs. Kawler-You mean, l presume,
that you wish you knew where your
husband is?
Mrs. Jagaway-No, I don't. ] know
where he is. He's up in his room.
sleeping of headache.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-06-15
Australia to Have Own Navy.

1t is stated Officially In London that
the government has acceded to the
wish of Australia TO rescind her an
nual contribution of 100000 to-
ward naval squadron for Austral'
asia. The commonwealth will main
tain its own navy.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-06-15
Women.

Women always go back to their
first word unless they hove meanwhile
forgotten it-Translated for Transit,
lantlc Tales from Fliegende Batter.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-06-15

We should do everything We can for
others, II only to dissipate the thought
of what they omit to do for U.S.
Madame Swetchine.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-06-15
II Cures While You Walk.

Aliens Foot-Ease is certain cure for
hot, sweating; callous, and swollen, aching
feet. Sold by all Druggists. Price 25c Don't
accept any substitute, Trial package FREE.
Address Allen S. Olmsted, lie Roy, N. Y.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-06-15

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing syrup.
For children teethng softens the gums, reduces IN
nammston. slays pain cures wind collie. CSC bottle
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-06-15

Most men like to be jollied and are
willing to pay for 1t.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1907-06-15
6s, BUT PERFECTLY WELL.
The Happy Experience Of a New Cas-.
tie, Pa, Woman.

Mrs. John Mansell, GA So. Jefferson
st., New Castle, Pa, says: For years
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1907-11-10

Tribune OF the week previous. It
seems that the Tribune editor was
waging q war against the sgrafters'
OF that day who infested the little
city over the Little Muddy. IT seems
that saloon keepers. gamblers and
keepers of bawdy houses had been
mixing up with the city's politics and
the Tribune took up the fight to rid
the city of their influence and there
was hopes that it would succeed.
Three reputable citizens were on =
ticket to give the city good govern
n1ent The, Pioneer, as always was
and is It's policy standing for right,
justice and good government-lauds
the act. of the Tribune. In the ar
ticle a good word for Alex. Mckenzie,
the able sheriff of Burleigh county,
lis said. 1t seems that Mr.. Mckenzie,
true to his Scotch proclivities, has
been doing his duties like a man. He
had no opposition for reelection tc
the Office which he filled so well. IA
ri