Los Angeles herald., 1907-03-18
HEARD AROUND
THE CORRIDORS
IRISH CELEBRATE GREAT DAY
BY TELLING FUNNY STORIES
BY THE EAvEsDRCPPER

1t takes an Irishman to beat an Irish
man when it comes to telling whoppers,
and three good Irishmen with guam
tity of good Irish blood in their veins
kept a crowd of guests who had gath
cred in the Alexandria corridor last
night in shrieks of laughter.
There was Tom McHugh, who travels
for Hudnut's and comes out here from
New York every little while. He was
born in New York, but for that mat
ter most good Irishmen were, and then
his daddy brought the "McHugh" right
across from the "ould sod"
He started it all by saying Erin Go
salute to a fellow countryman to re-
mind them that it was the day of Ire
| lands patron saint.
Frank Quinn, manager for Wakelee
in San Francisco and Ed McGinley or
New York were there, and in addition
there was a Kelly and probably
Burke as we'll Wherever there are
Keilys or Burkes there are apt to be
Shays not far away, so it Is safe to
say there was Shay.
Irish Not Suffering
"This is a hard luck st. Patrick's day.
Think of all those poor devils back in
New York wanting to celebrate and
the saloons all closed. I think it's a
crime to cheat the Irish that way" said
Mckinley.
"Oh, but don't you think the Irish
are going to be beaten because Paddy's
day happens to fall on Sunday. why.
man, I'll bet every mothers son Of
them got enough mountain dew into
him between 12 and 1 o'clock last night
to make him happy all Sunday. Thls
came from Frank Quinn.
But say, fellows, have you heard
about the treaty made between America
and England today?" asked McHugh,
with a great air of Importance.
'Have not heard? Well, you certainly
are behind the times. England has de-
cided to give America Ireland in ex-
change for the Philippine islands and
we are going to raise our own police
men after that.
go on, will you; that's no news"
broke in Mckinley. Speaking OF the
rocky road to Dublin-no one has, but
it makes no difference hear that the
road has become so rocky the snakes
have to get half soled every two
weeks"
St. Patrick Not charmer
'Man alive, don't you know there
are no snakes in Ireland. st. Patrick
drove them all out" informed Quinn.
"Now that just shows where you fell
lows had better get off. Why, 1t was
not St. Patrick at all that drove the
snakes out of Ireland" McHugh put IN.
at was the king of England and thel
regiments that did it. There were sol
many monkeys in England that theI
Irish people sent plea to the king tol
come over and drive them out. The
king sent one regiment and the SOL
diers came back and said there We're no
monkeys that they could find. The
king could not understand, but he sent
another regiment over and they brought
back the same reply. No monkeys In
Ireland. Finally he sent third regi-
ment over in charge of prince ana ne
came back and reported that they
could not drive the monkeys out with
out great loss of life. -
"'How's thatY asked the KING. |
What loss of life?'
Soldiers Insult Irish
"'Well, your majesty, you could not
drive the monkey out without great
loss of life because you cannot tell the
monkeys from the Irishmen.
"Then they found the snakes and
drove them out instead"
"Maybe you think that is good one, |
but YOU ought to have seen what l saw
today, Mr.. McHugh," said Quinn.
"I was over in LeVy's tonight having
supper. The place was crowded and
the only vacant seat in the house was |
one across from the table where an
Englshman was sitting. An lrlshman
with a brogue and enough green ribbon
to stretch from here back to New
York came in and wanted seat. The
waiter led him to the only vacant one.
The Englishman was one OF these
things that play golf, and he had on |
red cap and red vest. He was eating |
cream of tomato soup, lobster salad and
tomatoes. The red grub was too much
for the Irishman. He gave one con-
temptuous sniff and then called the
waiter
Looks for Trouble
Waiter he said, L want you 10
bring me some Crane turtle soup, some
Crane peas, some Crane onions, cup
OF Crane tea, and l want somebody to
make remark about It,
"There must be a lot of Irish in Los
Angeles" said McHugh. Il was pass