The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1907-07-13

are not bothered with Ruefs and
Schmitzs here, not so we notice them
and we don't smash Japanese restau-
rants, nor do we stone women and
children for riding on the street cars,
we have an unwhipped mob, perhaps
but our mob never gave any sign of re-
quiring a whipping Although we
never had Thaw case, like New
York, we have as comfortable hotel
accommodations We may not have
a Statue of Liberty, a Liberty Bell or
a Bunker Hill, but we play baseball,
raise a noise on July 4, eat peanuts,
have newspapers that call each other
liars and enjoy religious freedom-at
least l do. What more do we want ?
OF course some of us want Japanese
sons-in-law, but we can't all be gov
ernors, nor can we all be kings and
customs collectors Hawaii may be
a thousand years from statehood but
our legislatures too young to be cor
rupt.
Ii isn't fair for honorable visitors
to roast us because they spent a dull
evening in Hilo Hilo isn't Hawaii
any more than Oyster Bay is the whole
United States, though there's more
sense in Hilo than some Oyster Bay
folks seem to possess.
. {. & :.
Seven years ago my brother in the
faith, R. b. Kidd, landed upon these
shores. Suspiciously consequent was
the birth of the Democratic party in
these isles A few years later peo-
pie here began to hear of a man nam
ed Hearst and Mr.. Hearst sent some OF
his Examiners down to Kidd for dis
tribution among the latter's friends. Sc
many EXaminars were sold here one
day think it was the day the Exa-
miner arrived with the story of the
flying fish that flew over the volcano
and got roasted but, not wanting to
waste himself, flew right on into Ly-
curgus' restaurant and laid himself on
the plate of a guest who kicked be-
cause he (the fish hadn't been fried
in butter-that Hearst sent down a
barrel of money which Kidd buried
and forgot Now Kids going to leave
us for few months and | am writing
this to contradict the unkind rumor
that he is going to get out Of the way
of Japans fleet. The report that a
rich uncle had died and that Kidd goes
to claim a fortune is not true-Kidd's
rich uncle is so healthy that Kidd may
have to kill him
= :: = =
| am worried The news that the
government is sending a lot of mines
to be placed about Pearl Harbor, has
caused me continued trepidation But
do not misunderstood me. 1t is moi
my militant spirit that is alarmed
Let the Japs come, l don't care. Those
mines bring to us a danger much closer
home. l have reference to my dear
and esteemed friend Ex-Commodore
Picker.
The style of navigation of the gay
commodore is well known to local
yachtsmen He has the sailors stride
but the landsmans desire to take
short cuts, so he is continually hitting
bottoms when he goes on his cruises
If ever those mines are planted about
these islands our Commodore s sailing
directions will be ME for the Mines.
The bottom of his yacht, the Spray will
have as many holes in her as a seive
as he goes humping those mines, de-
parting from Pearl Harbor, back home
There is to my mind, only one sal.
walton for orr Commodore, give him
a glass bottom boat so that he would
see what is underneath him. am
going to try and induce the Promotion
Committee to start a subscription list
to build such a craft for Picker. And
here is dollar, the price of one husky
round of drinks to start the subscrip-
ton.
This is a true story. A recent visi
tor to a very popular island resort
on one of the other islands, was con
siderably surprised, and finally bored
by the familiar attentions and CONVEX
sation of a Japanese attache. Where
do you come from?" the Jap asked
in the course of various personal in
quiries. I'm from hell" was the an
swer, supposed to be a squelcher. The
Jap smiled politely, Kissed some and
said 20 that so?1 got brodder there
go some day"
Had he understood, or not?