Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-06-29
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Don't take any notice of the cook,
Maria" But John, she's just given
it."-Baltimore American.
DO You regard that mans argu-
ments as soundT' Yes" answered
Senator Sorghum; that and nothing
Washington Star.
Mr.. Tiller-You see, the wind was so
fierce that our yacht sail was torn to
ribbons. Miss Lighthead-Ah! SEQ
sail of remnants illustrated Bits.
Kind Old Gent-What do you mean
by saying your occupations gone? Soul
weary Samuel-They've pulled down
the house used TO lean agalnst.-Ally
Sloper.
She-She is always talking about her
mince pies, Did you ever see anything
unusual In them2 He-Yes, l saw q
shoe button in one once !--Yonkers
Statesman.
At the Fair.-Give me the lunch
basket, wiley. Dou't you see we are
sure to lose each other In this crowd?
Translated from Fliegende Blaetter
for The Literary Digest.
What do you intend to do with your
automoblle?" THAT doesn't concern
me" answered the nervous man. The
question is, What is my automobile go
ing to do with meT Washington
Star.
Dear will have to get new dress
this fall, and they say checks will be
much In demand for costumes" i've
never known time since l married
you when they en't,"--Baltimore
American.
Schoolmaster Tat end OF object les
SOM - Now can any OF you tell me what
fs water? Small and Grubby Urchln--
Please, teacher, waters what turns
black when you puts your 'ands in i'll
Dundee Advertiser. =
vistor-Well, Ethel, are you going
to paint pictures like your father when
you grow up? Ethel should like to,
but mother says one artist In the family
is quite enough for any poor woman to
put up with.--Judy.
Wears Wife (sympathIzlngly)- Now
that you can't get about, and are not
able 10 read, how do you manage to
occupy the time? Old MAXWELL, mum,
sometimes | sits and thinks; and then
again ! just sits.--Punch.
Mother Cat end of story And an
angel came and fetched him away,
dear. Dear (who Is going to party
that EVENING" Well, II an angel should
| happen to call for me this afternoon,
please tell him I'm out.~-The Tatler.
AscumI notice you're very atten-
| tive TO Miss Roxley Have you re-
! ceived any encouragement Hunter
| should say SO. received authorlta-
! tive information that she's worth at
least half million dollars Exchange.
A Question.-~At n teachers confer
| euce In Berlin one of the school princi-
pals rose to propose the toast, Long
live the teachers" ION whatT' In
qulred a meager, palid, young assistant
instructor, IN hollow voiCe.--Harper's
Magazine.
Mrs. Caller What Is your husband
doing now? Mrs. Shiftless- got
mathematical job AT present. Mrs.
Caller-Mathematica job? Mrs. Shift
less Yes. He's trying to figure out
some way to live without working
Chicago News.
Really I'm afraid you over
heard what / er-said about YOU"
stammered the gossip, who had been
caught red-handed. Perhaps Ter
was q bit too severe" 20! no." re-
piled the other woman you weren't
nearly as severe ms you would have
been II you knew what / think OF you"
Philadelphia Press.
The schOOlmaster asked the pupils:
Suppose In a family there are Ave chil-
dren. and mother has only four potatoes
between them. Now she wants to give
every child an equal share. What is
she going 10 dor" Silence reigned In
the room. Everybody calculated very
hard, TIL a little boy stood up and gave
the unexpected answer. Mash the
potatoes, sIr."-Christian Register.
Speaking Of accommodating hotel
managers remarked a traveller, the
best ! ever met was In certain Mid
land town. reached the hotel late In
the evening. Just before | retired |
heard scampering under the bed and
saw couple Of large rats just escap-
ing | complained at the Office. The
manager WIS as serene as summer
breeze. IN make that all right, SIR
he said. johnson! Take up a cat to
room % at oncer"