Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1907-08-21
SOME STRANGE WAR TALES.
Peculiar Horrors Happened to AppIi-
cants for Federal Pensions.

Every allment known to medical
science and some thai are entirely
original, if not imaginary, are in
cluded lin the category of afflictions
which seek amelioration through the
United States pension commissioners.
No matter how unreasonable may
appear the stories contained in these
applications for pensions, each re-
ceives a thorough investigation by
the secret service of the bureau, an
reorganization which shripks from ad-
Rvertising its exploits, although its
members could tell hundreds of tales
of interesting variety. Pension Com.
missioner Warner has decided oh.
jections to publicity being given the
secret work of the office, but leak
will occasionally occur. Not infre.
quently the applications show clearly
the earmsrks of fraud, and some-
times shrewd detective is sent
thousands of miles to gather facts as
to the claim. Often both men and
women stretch their imagination as
well as conscience.in their persistent
efforts to be placed on Uncle Sans
pension rolls. Some of the cases are
as old as they are interesting. Here's
q fellow who wants pension for a
"total wreck" :"
81 fust got to he a total wreck
frum liver and kidney trubbles and
Thea was totally wrecked by con.
sumption, which come on me sud-
denly like, and now 1 am more
totally wrecked by army troubles,
sprains and hard marching"
An ex.soldier in Ohio wrote: 81
don't exactly know what disease 1
am suffering with, but I do know
that | deserve a pension, as I am
suffering the pains eff death all over
my body and legs and feet. Make
it a good one for fought hard for
the flag"
! A hen.pecked husband, who evil
IDENTIFY has 40 use for his wife, says
in his application: 81 got blood
poison by being hit with hens egg
which was not good. When you
send my pension want it made 60
as my wife won't get any of it, for
she is the one who throwed the egg"
A veteran in West Virginia thinks
be should receive pension because
he fell off thirty-foot bridge during
the war, which resulted in "general
breaking up of my entire system"
A veteran of the 4th Wisconsin
infantry was salivated by reason of
excessive use of salt pork during his
army career, and applies for pen
sion on The ground that he "got sal
walton in the army"
The following extract is an excel
lent example of an injury which
made itself known after an interval
of more than forty years: "The way
l got my war injury was catching a
hog. Our captain wanted her for
forage, an he was chasin' the hog,
and she crawled through q hoale in
a rale fence. It was a big hoale an
I thought was about the size of the
hog, anil tried to crawl thro,' but /
stuk an trying to wiggle out 1
throde the rales off, an one hit me
on the he'd and knocked me sense.
less. don't think the ketchin' of
the hog had anything to do with my
line of duty, an I,iwants pension.
The hog was never ketched."
A veteran in Howard county,
Maryland, sent the testimony of a
neighbor, who nc doubt meant we'll
enough, but did not know how to
express himself. The latter swore
to the statement that he had known
the claimant for twelve years, and
that che would not work unless COM
PEELED to-" The witness really
meant to say that the claimant, while |
really unable to work by reason of
his physical infirmities, was fire.
quently compelled to attempt labor
in order to sustain himself. AS a |