The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1907-10-16

to keep de circulation gwine arter it
got started.
Newton diskivered gravity. hut
Ham diskive-ed !evity.
"Eaonital crossed de Hellespont.
What he ii after he crossed I dun
don't r"H.eiH3c CT. but l know he didn't
come back wild II watermillyon under
his arm and tell everybody dat he had
found a good thing.
While Nero was making one half de
world stand around Ham was feedin'
de odder half on his new fruit and
workin' EN- up to git Nero in a hole.
white men hev giben us de rail
rode, de steamboat. de telegraph. de
telephone and de trolley cab, but de
day dat Ham glib us de watermillyon
he won de eternal gratitude of human
ity.
de white mar stands on de rostrum
and in words Of patriotism and elo.
Quence stirs de heart fur war and
glory. De Guild man takes a big red
cored millyon under his arm and hunts
fur a SHADY spot and sots down and
brings peace and contentment to de
lauO as ne eats.
de question has been aXed me: Has
q Guild man a moral right to gobble
a watermillyon wheneber and wher-
cher he kin find it? I hev spent three
days fggerin' on dat question wild a
blue pencil. Sometimes my figgers
come out n way, and sometimes
anodder. Sometimes it appeared dat
he has, and ag'in 1t appeared dat
he hain't. l shall darfo' leave de
question fur each one to decide fur
hisself.
II am libin' next doah to a Guild
man. He raises some mighty big mill.
yons. He don't keep no watchdog.
He don't set NJ spring guns. He am
an old man and goes to bed airly and
sleeps Ike 4 log. KNOWN dat dat cull'd
man will steal my mi.lyons right along
it seems only right dat l should make
one hand wash de odder by stealth
his. He misses his fruit and sees my
tracks in &c SHE. I miss mine and see
his tracks. but we don't say nuthin' 70
each odder about 1t.
White Mans Truck Patch.
I'm de case of Il white mans truck
patch de conditions am different. If
de millyons am left lynn around dere
dey will prove a temptation to de
young %innoec Dey will bring crows
around. Iey will be forgotten and 60
to decay. l can't see any pertickler
objection to de culrd man removin' a
few at Il time, but he should be con-
S.S.1A,,r< IN ,1.,,% ~ H. ~h~,NosA 1900.
down de fences or steal de hull patch
ut one If while he am In de patch
he meets up wild anodder culrd man
who am dar fur de same purpose. dar
am no call fur any hard feelin's be-
tween 'em. Oar am allus two big
millyons in de same patch, and de
gentlemen kin lift 'em up and go DER
separate ways.
"1n devourin' a millyon raised in
your w garden you kin leave de
rinds in a heap on de doahsteps to
make odder persons Jealous. When
you hev devoured one comm from q
white mans patch bury de rinds wild
care. De white mar am unsartin. YoN
nehbe" kin tell what he may do.
Il have no chil'en. but fur sartin
domestic reasons I allus cut a water
millyon in half wild Mrs. Gardner.
Dose domestic reasons am dat she Will
fly fur de broomstick If I don't. hut
dar am many of YOU differently stu
| ated. Glib de old q fair slice
| and let de chil'en mostly gnaw de
rinds.
II hev been aXed If de watermillyon
contains germs or microbes and IS a
| spreader Of disease. Don't let nobody
fool you on dat question. If you kin
get 10000 eat 'em up and take your
| chances. No one kin ask fur a more
pleasant death than to be killed by a
| red coved watermillyon welghin' about
thirty pounds.
zone of de most lamentable things Of
de aige am de fact dat de millyon
seZun am so brief. but de inventive
genius Of dc black man am at work.
| and any day de world may be startled
to hear Of de winter watermillyon dat
needs no ice to cool 1t of befo' you sit
down to it and-yum. yum"
" OMAN