davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28

Be a bubblin spring OBJ gladness; be a
zephyr from de Souf.
Let de merriment come oozin' from 20
ears an eyes an mouf.
BE a hogshead CD molasses, drappin'
sweetness all de day.
Be a streak oh human sunshine. OATS
what Uncle Shinbone say!
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28
Plenty of Work Ahead.

From the Philadelphia Press.
Col Watterson seems to have quit
his job of nominating a Democratic can
didate for President, and is now picking
out the Republican nominee. He just
has TO keep busy.
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28

pa" said little Tommy Dumley.
teacher says we've got to be able 10 tell
her tomorrow what meter The Charge
Of the Light Brigade IS IN"
"Eh?" replied old Dumley. why that's
simple enough. Gas meter, Of course.
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28
The CoIoneI's joke.

In Kentucky. sub" said the facetious
Col Bibblus. every child IS born with
a waterproof coat"
What" demanded the tourist. "a
waterproof coat2'
ION his stomach, sub, on HIS stomach. d"
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28
Out of the Question.

"As pretty as a picture she
BY all her friends is known,
And yet, Of course, she could not be
As pretty as her own.
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28

The Secretary Of Commerce and Labor
Hon. oscar s. Straus. has acquired
strenuous ways since he came 10 Wash
ington, If he lacked strenuosity before.
He not only works ten or twelve hours
a day at his desk, but goes in for pedes-
trianism ar spare times. No government
carriage conveys him 10 the department.
If the morning be clear, he walks. His
home Is on the brow Of Meridian Hin,
the large mansion erected by the Hen
ders0ns two squares beyond their castle
on Sixteenth street. MethOdiCal in his
habits. usually he may be seen walking
down the hill. a few minutes before g
o'clock, accompanied by kis secretary.
lie docs not strike a ROoseveltian pace,
but goes at a steady gait making the
distance from home 10 office IN about
forty minutes The Secretary likes
Washington, and finds that the climate
agrees with him, even Ia hot weather. H.
leaves tomorrow, however, on a two
months official trip TO Canada, the Pa
cific Coast, and Honolulu, and his familiar
figure Will be missing from Sixteenth
street for that period.
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28

Miss Gaddie-Enemies. are YOU? Why.
thought she loved you not long ago.
Miss BrIsht-So she did; and she loves
mo not now
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28

The Guatemalan legislature has grant
ed the President of that fussy land six
months leave Of absence. While he is
away. several rival Presidents probably
will occupy the office.
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28

Everybody says his air ship will be a
failure"
"WeHg'
HE says he is going to fly in the face
Of public opinion
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28

The Missouri Supreme Court has decided
that q physicians fee cannot legally be
based upon patients wealth This de
cision will reduce many a case Of appen-
dicitis TO plain. oId-fashioned stomach
achn
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28

In the archives C the Pennsylvania
Railroad, at Philadelphia, has been found
a letter from James Buchanan written
when he was President of the United
States, declining an offer Of a free pass
on the Northern Central Railroad The
letter came into the possession Of the
Pennsylvania when that road acquired
control of the Northern Central It is as
follows:
Washington a March lsj9
Dear Sir: ! return the free ticket which Mr. Git
tings has directed TO be forwarded 70 me for the
Northern Central Railroad with as many thanks
for his kindness though ] had accepted II. Il
has been The practice Of my life not 10 travel free
on any railroad. being opposed to the whole system
Ct granting such privileges to individuals not con
nected with these roads Yours very respectfully.
JAMES BUCHANAN.
Robert S HoLins ESQ. Secretary.
The letter would seem 20 be rather more
significant now than when it was written.
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28

DR.. Wiley's idea seems 70 be that we
may live 10 extreme old age if we bolt
our meats instead Of chewing them. A
few rounds with the quality of indiges-
ton invariably attendant upon this proc
ess will cure the most aggravated de-
sire TO live 10 old age
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28

PA, what Is an imbroEiiO?'
Anything happening at the White
House, SON."
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28

Mayor Schmitz may still enjoy 4 sor. IF
superior attitude among his fellow Jail
birds by RECALLING them occasionally with
accounts Of his one-and ouly-trip to the
White House.
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28

Mrs. c. T. Bronson Howard says her
husband told her that all great writer's
are liars. That doubtless was when he
was trying to explain and account for
some of his early love letters.
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28

And now Mr.. Roger Sullivan mysteri-
ouzly announces that he has a dark
horse" candidate We can tell in one
guess who II isn't
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28
NOTHING SERIOUS.

From the Philadelphia Pres.
The Necessary Solitaire.
Miss Ascum-Nir. Brokeley proposed 20
her. didn't her
Miss Wise-Yes. but she sized him up
for counterfeit
Miss Ascgm-Why?
Miss Wise-He didn't have the proper
ring about him.
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28

Mr.. Richard Crokers son is touring Ire
land in a green automobile. No wonder
the Crokers are solid with their new con
stituency.
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28

Mr. Vim Hill is disposed TO lay blame
for his woes upon the darn fool edito-
rial writer's And yet that class really
never gave him a moments uneasiness in
his whole life
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28

Promises and eggs are easily broken, "
saws the Baltimore American. True
enough. and yet you can get no good out
Of an egg unless 70 is broken.
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28

Our sympathy % the Charleston News
and Courier in its hour OF bitterness and
distress. Bugs" Charlestou's crack
pitcher. Has been sold TO another and
Weather team. That Is hard luck. and
is calculated 20 render this an unusually
uncomfortable summer for our contempt
rary.
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28

A crowd of Connecticut baseball fans
beat an umpire 'senseless. And yet
their idea probably was that he didn't
have any sense, in the first p.ace.
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28
MEN AND THINGS.
Bryce and the Chiltera Hundreds.

In February of this year the following
official notice appeared in the columns
of the London Gazette:
The Chancellor Of the Ezcheqne has appointed
the Right Hoa. James Bryce ". r.. TO be steward
and baif Of the Chiltem Hundreds
King Edwards popular Ambassador to
this Capital probably would smile if this
notice were called to his attention by
any Of his American friends, and he
would inform them that # was necessary
for him 10 obtain the office referred 10
In order to be free 10 accept the position
Of honor and trust which Is now his.
That is 10 say, while a member Of the
House of Commons is expelled II ne Is
convicted Of a felony his seat is de-
clared vacant if he should have the mis-
fortune TO become a lunatic, and he
ceases ipso facto 10 be a member Of the
Commons If he Is elevated TO the House
Of Lords. he cannot resign, no matter
what may be the reason for his desire to
retire 10 private life Except in the
event Of some development such as the
three mentioned. and one other, he must
continue 20 be a part OF the British leg
lslatiye body until the dissolution of the
Parliament TO which he was originally
elected. The one individual development
referred 20 is the obtaining by a mem
Der of an office Of profit under the
Crown" and it was not until the middle
of the eighteenth century that Parliament
provided even this expedlent for permit
ting designations or Withdrawals The
most curious feature OF the practice now
is that the stewardship of the Chiltern
Hundreds, the appointment 20 which has
made possible the retirement OF many a
member besides Mr.. Bryce. is purely a
nominal office without emOluments OF
duties. The Chiltern Hundreds, it may be
said in passing are three so-called man
ors, Stoke, Desborough, and Bonenham,
In Buckinghamshire, which formerly be
longed to royal demesne. The llberating
stewardship Is now granted as a matter
Of course TO any member Of the lower
House who desires an honorable discharge
from his legislative duties
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28

The Cars idea appears to be to have a
Douma that may be depended upon TO
pass laws which affect nothing IN gener-
al and nobody in particular.
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28

Notwithstanding his course IN the
Brownsville affair. and the discovery that
he carries a six-shooter IN his hip pocket.
we still doubt that Mr.. Roosevelt could
sweep Texas for another term" says the
Kansas City Journal Perhaps he would
come as near doing it as he did the last
time. how sver.
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28
Tough.

The poet carved his way.
But he was like 20 starve.
For that, alaCk-a-day.
Was all he had 10 carve.
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28

What is the largest bill the govern
ment authorizes asks a correspond mt
Taft
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28

William Dean Howells says it IS a
crime for a writer to accept money for
poetry. Perhaps we shall be able to bluff
the poets out Of our sanCtum hereafter.
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28

'The President does not know every
thing. says Jack London Oh, well.
probably not But there is always Chan
Cellor Day to whom we may apply in OK
tremities. you know.
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28

Mr.. Roosevelt. even on his vacation
keeps in close touch with Washington. '
says a contemporary lie is within three
miles Of Booker r. this summer.
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28

a man is judged by the way he eats, "
says the Birmingham Age-HeraId. Il is
not fair so 10 judge him when he is eat
ing in a railroad restaurant. however.
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28

Mr. John Temple Graves says that he
thinks he might, al least, be truthfulIy
quoted when quoted at all; and we agree
with him. Correct quotations give us as
much gayety as we can possibly utilize i'm
any Of our departments. anyhow.
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28
AT THE HOTELS.


Hon. D. K. Watson, former attorney
( general Of Ohio ami former Representa-
tive in Congress. is at the Riggs Judge
/ Watson, until its recent dissolution. was
a member of the commission 10 codifv
the statutes Of til united States. and
during bis long stay in Washington, while
engaged in that work. made a multitude
Of friends at the Capital
81 think" said Judge Watson. when in
/ terrogated by a Herald reporter chat the
. Republicans Of Ohio are sincerely in favor
Of the Presidential candidacy Of Secretary
Taft Should be be nominated. he will
carry the State ia spite Of dissenslons in
the party, for the pride Of the people
I would be aroused, and the appeal not TO
desert home man would be Loyalty
needed. While Ohio is for Taft. that does
not carry with II any probability OF the
retirement Of Senator Foraker. The
Senator has long been regarded, and Will
] continue 20 be regarded, as one OF the
great men Of the country. He is by far
too important man 10 be relegated 90
/ private life even though be espoused the
/ unpopular side OF the rate bin and other
/ leading issues Of the day. Nobody ques-
/ tons his great ability his courage. and
/ honesty. and his friends are adhering u
him with the utmost loyalty"
Farming operations in Georgia and
! Alabama are at least thirty days behind,
/ and crop prospects in both these States
are far from good said Mr. J. F. Will
I Jams. OF Atlanta. At the Raleigh
Many Of our farmers have planted
cotton three times owing to the abnor-
NAL season that prevented it from show
ing above ground. and after q third at
tempt Il is sickly looking and Of poor
growth. Many good judges say the crop
is bound % be exceedingly short. and all
over the South you hear predictions that
il viii sell for i or % cents q pound
Another great affection that the bad
weather brought u Georgia was the par
tial destruction Of the peaches Taking
the whole State. 1t is doubtful whether
the orchards will yield over a third Of
the usual crop"
"The hostile assaults that have been
made on the constitution of Oklahoma are
wholly unfounded, and the truth is that
e.
.'-' ''i''i o'ii0 7'',7 mas one VI -'-' mus
modern. wise. and generally democratic
constitutions ever adopted by any people,
said Mr.. C. J. Wrighrsman, of Tulsa, Ind,
T.. al the New Willard
Mr. v-fgt,eo7ar fe s-r,5,,7,, Of
C,l-.--..-- 7--....-.-....
practicIng law with great success in the
ihdlau territory LOT the past fifteen
years
I do not speak as PARTISAN he con-
tinued, but as citizen when I say that
the organic law framed for Oklahoma
comes very near being model Col ".
j. Bryan. who has given it deep study,
says 10 IS worthy the greatest praise. and
United States. Most OF the people who
are hghting ITS adoption are In the com5i-
100. -. WIN lAe gee corpora
m. 81, ,, rat ,-,--,--. an. 7I.,, ~
for am those wears and are sore -
they see that under this instrument their
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28

Constantly aiming our woes TO disperse.
This is a sample Of newspaper verse.
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28

The seriousness with which your Amer
lean newspapers discuss the proposed abo-
lition of the House OF Lords is very en-
tertaining.' said SIR Victor Y. Branford.
Of London, at the New Willard. There
is no more danger Of such a result than
Of abolishing royalty. The whole agita-
ton Of this question is a bit of political
maneuvering for party advantage. and II
is so understood in Great Britain If at
some future time your American Senate
should happen TO become temporarily un-
popular there might arise a clamor for
its abolition. but il is hardly 20 be sup
posed that you would change your form
Of government merely TO satisfy such an
agitation This is about the case of the
lords But even supposing that the cx-
IRENE step OF wiping out that body were
contaminated. the peers would still con-
stitute a powerful ana important factor
in the political and social life Of the
empire Birth and hereditary renown
will always be potent with Englishmen.
and the aggregate influence Of the lords
out of office would scarcely be decreased
an iota If they were stripped Of all their
! agislative authority"
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28

The Washington Herald is delivered by
carrier IN the District Of Columbia aud at
Alexandria. Va, at s. cents per month,
daily and sunday or at p cents per
month ,CithOUf the SUNDAY issue.
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28

Hon. Edgar Fl. Farrar. Of New Orleans.
is registered az the New Willard. and
his presence in Washington at this time
has occasioned more or less speculation.
As the leading member of the law firm
Of Farrar. Jonas & Eruttschmitt. NE has
always ranked at the very front of the
bar Ia the South. and his firm has en-
joycd perhaps the largest corporation
practice in that part Of the country,
while Judge Farrsr's advice has fire.
quently been sought by some Of the lead
ing industrial interests Of New York.
The second member of the firm is ex-
United Senator Senator b. F. Jonas,
while the late Z. 3 Kruttschmitt. who
died recently. but whose name is stiu re-
tanned. was chairman of the Democratic
executive committee, president Of the
constitutional convention which adopted
the original grandfatEers' clause, and one
Of the ripest scholars in the State. Like
Mr.. Farrar he made an enviable record
at the University of Virginia. and both
were tutors there in the classical branches
for short while after graduation. Mr..
Kruttschmitt was the nephew OF Judah
p. benjamin. United States Senator from
Louisiana and afterWarI Secretary 0f
War Of the ConfederaCy. who occupied
the rare distinction of becoming Queens
counselor after he went 10 England 20
build up his fortunes following the over
throw Of the Confederate government
Mr.. FarTar was talked of as possibly
being selected for the Attorney Generals
Office shortly after Mr. Roosevelts second
term began, when 1t was said the Pres
ident was seeking Cabinet timber in the
South. irrespective Of party. and his letter
to the President on the railroad question.
a few weeks ago was so highly thought
Of by Mr.. Roosevelt that he asked that
II might be printed. with the result that
il has been discussed editoriauv by all
Of the leading papers in the country.
Representative Gordon Lee, OF Georgia,
and Mrs. Lee have been at the Shoreham
for the past day or two. but left last
night for their home in the South Mr.
Lee, who has just entered on his second
term. was q new man in the politics Of
the Goober State when first chosen 10 the
House. but long before the expiration OF
his first term he had justified the wisdom
of his constituents by the cleverness and
zeal which he brought TO bear on the dis
charge Of his duties. He is a prodigious
worker and has such hold on the people
of his district that his friends believe he
can come to Washington as long as he
desires.
The seriousness with which your Amer
lean newspapers discuss the proposed abO-
ltion of the House OF Lords is very en-
tertaining.' said SIR Victor Y. Branford.
Of london. at the New Willard. "There
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28

Nsw York Office Nssssn-Beekmsn Bldg. LsCoste &
Maxwell, Managers
Chicago Ofice, Marquette Bldg. LaCoste & Max
vel Managers
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28

T.Ieghoa. Main $500. private Branch E-eAsns,)
The Washington herald., 1907-06-28

Ernest H Merck Treasurer end Business Mansser
J. Harry cunningham. ..........- Auditor
Charles c Thompson - Mechanical Superintendent
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1907-06-16

SQUAD. and other delicacies not In the bill
Of fare; or receive the best cuts Of porter
house when my neighbor cut and hacked
at his tough steak in vain. All this without
extra compensation to the hotel proprietor,
who gets the losing end both ways.
The negro is susceptible to money. Tn
less you pay him you will not only get no
extras but will be lucky to be served at
all. And to be effective the tip must APP
proximate the cost of the food you eat-half
a dollar to a dollar a day II the hotel be
first class. You must pay the head waiter
also; otherwise he will assign you to another
table and put a poor waiter on you" Many
of these negro walters are absolutely dis
gushing.
AMI THE DINING ooM GIRL WORSE.
The dining room girl speak Of her as
n c%Iass-is usually a young woman whose
Independence and personal Importance
are measured by the degree OF indifference.
impolitcness and insolence measured out
to the trembling victims of the American,
hotel; and she is herself a purely American
product. As a rule she is chambermaid
between meals.
In either capacity she regards the casual
traveller as her mortal enemy, to be an
noyed, sighted, snubbed, insulted, upon
any occasion and every pretext. Those
who escape her animosity and enjoy her
good will are the regular drummers who
firt with her on every opportunity.
She plays favorites. She doesn't ex-
poet money, and rarely gets 1t. because OF
her known incompetence and notorious
impolitenees.
She is absorbed in her exaggerated esti-
mate Of her own Importance, and o n
stantly requires the sharp prod Of watchful
superiors to hold her up TO a service in
which she has not the slightest interest.
1t is this rigid supervision alone that saves
the average person who depends upon her
will. Her like can be found in no other
part of the world.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1907-06-16
Mineral Wealth Of the South.
From The Worlds Work

= yum ~ W Vf'A . W ~
About one-seventh OF the mineral rro-
ductton Of the entire country comes hrln
the Southern States. OF bttuminoue coal,
the mot valuable %nineral. the South pro-
duces onc-fourth, and Of iron about one
ninth. It4 total coal resources amount 10
nearly 600. 100000 tons. or more than onS-
fourth of our estimated coal reserve
OF mineral chemical materials thu South
supplies more than one-halt. chiefly phos-
uhate rock. all Of which il produced in flords,
Tennessee and South Carolina. and nearly
one-third Of the mineral pigments or
precious stones the whole country produorl
only t325, OoQ worth. with the South furnish
ing It's fair share,
The showing In iron ore reserves il quite
a. good a safe minimum Is s0oo, ooo ,oh1
TOM. or nearly one-third Of the nation q total.
az workable Iron ore the South contains ons
and one-half times as much. az The famous
Lake Superior district, and this does not IN
elude the deep lying Southern ores, u%nWork.
able a. present But all ores must be counted
10 any estimate Of iron reserve
On a basis Of value of product the South
Furnishes more thHr tvo-sevenths 81 clr oil
and more than one tl1tb Of our sas.
DiNsS o. 10 - ~
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1907-06-16

II has every advantage that the custom
made shoe posSesses. II 10 in the matter
of shirts and shoes that the advance here
has been greatest.
Tan shoes are this year more in favor
than they have been for several years.
They were in fact worn throughout the
winter. The low shoes are more generally
worn, although a high boot with a white
linen top is smart. II may have pearl
buttons or lace with,a leather string. Just
such a shoe has been for many years popular
among web dressed men in London and
Paris.
Low tan shoes with white duck uppers
have been smart this spring at country
weddings. The majority OF the yellow
shoes are as dark as they can be made,
there being apparently little style in the
light colored leather.
There never was a season in which it
was necessary to be more careful about
the style of shoes to be bought. There
are many freakish styles on the market.
Most of them come from the West.
A low quarter with one silver buckle
and one string is a sample Of these wonders.
Yet there are some shoemakers of reputation
who show a tan leather pump with a string
to fasten it over the front OF the foot. such
footgear would b. possible only in the coun-
try.
Shoes with the usual low quarter, not
excessively pointed and with a tip, tied
with silk strings, not Of the very broad
and exaggerated kind, are the proper style
in low models, and, like the proper high
shoe, has no Bluoher effect.
High tan boots are tied with the heavy
leather strings. .
There is nothing in boots that a well
dressed man should avoid as carefully
as he does the freaks Of the ready made
shoes. An actor well known in musical
comedy afforded as much amusement
TO a crowd in the grand stand at the POLO
Grounds as he ever did on the stage.
His tan leather shoes were OF the kind
that close with a silver buckle and a string.
He was 30 much affected by the beauty OF
those buckles that he could not take his
eyes of them. He wanted the rest OF the
crowd to see the buckles, too, and the result
was that he kept his feet in the air most OF
the afternoon.
II is creditable to the taste OF Eastern
men that these inventions for the Western
trade rarely sell here. Nothing freakish
in ~footRear, aver with the authority Of
London, ever lasts here very long. The
patent leather walking shoe with light
colored tops and pearl buttons have passed
altogether out of the mode.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1907-06-16

From Harprr's Wockly

from HnrpfFb hfChtg
The governing board ~ an educational
institution for colored people In Washington
ere not a little mystihed as we'll as amused
recently when in response 10 an advertise
Inent inserted by them In the local papers
they received the following. communicated.
"6ESTLIMIS: noticed your advertise
ment yesterday for Q pianist, and rnueic
teacher. either white or colored. Having
been both foI several years 7 wi'h n cfet
my. Ierytc01,s
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1907-06-16
Vain Sacrifice.
From the Washington star

From the Washington Star,
So you quit smoking because she asked
you to-" said the youth with the clamshell
cap.
YES, answered the lad with the turned
up trousers
And then7"
Then she went walking wth q man Who
mosquitoes
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1907-06-16
SCORES AMERICAN HOTELS
JUDGMENT OF A MAN WHO HAS
TRAVELLED LONG.

Rarely Found in an American
' Hotel, He Declares "A Poor Table
BADLY Served the Rule-Defects That
Marble and Paint Can't Cover Up.