The daily tribune., 1907-08-19
DENTIST PULLED WRONG
TOOTH; JOKE ON HIN

any great wrong ana Wahteu w see
even with the American people,
would get myself nnil-puller,
nickel plated cuspidor and n tin sign
and open up n dentists Office.
Did you ever notice what nice
pleasant, smiling, cheerful men den
fists are? Whether they smile in an-
ticipation of tile fan they are going
to have with you, or simply to adj
vcrtise some new style of tooth
powder which they manufacture out
of Portland cement and violet sachet
powder, / haven't quite fully de-
cided. To meet dentist in society,
on the street or hanging onto bar
towel, he is apparently as kind-h
cd and sympathetic as female mis-
sionary, yet once he gets you into his
den of torture. he delights in seizing
Won by n tender tooth and throwing
YOU over his head And to cap the
climax of his brutality smile and asks
"Did you feel it?" The dentist is
hardened and hcartless. He pulls
your tooth or your leg with equal fe-
LEFTY.
And they all advertise ''teeth ex
tractcd without pain. One tooth
carpenter more candid than SOME of
his kind, says that the public is
pro ne to misinterprct that advertise
,nent. He says it means that the
operation is painless to the dentist.
A dentist always tells you that it
isn't going to hurt to pull tooth;
that it is no more painful than gett
ing divorce from woman who
parades the street with washerwoman
v-yvyu-7rurrr rnat Iie Ii rs
poll tax to pay. or possibly family
to support, and YOU decide to allow
him to prove once more that he is
"a liar. You submit to being placed
in the stuffed chair of agony and then
he gets ont an armful of cold, shiny
Instruments, which he rattles around
with as much noise as possible Just
TO cheer you up bit, pushes his knee
in your Ghost and comes as near mur-
dering you as he can without mixing
mp with the law. And he seems to
enjoy it, too.
For two nights this week suffered
with molar which would not be.
have. II was fevcrish md restless
and did the ghost dance for hours at
stretch, which occasioned some NJ.
marks on my part which blisterl the
varnish ON my Queen Anne snoring
couch and brought out the fire depart
ment twice in one night. The molar
was at times rod hot and often It
would climb up into the rnftcrs sof
my dome OF thought and fall back
with sickening thud. Then | would
let out demoniacal scream and
the family would go down into the
basement and barricaie themselves
again while the firemen played the
hose on the house.
l finally mustered up courage and
called on dentist who has ALWAYS
professcd tho warmest friendship for
me. The minute l stepped into his
Office the molar quietcd down, and
nctcd ms nice hs Sunday school |
scholar week before Christmas. |
tried to back out of the door, but tho
dentist seized me. lie snid that hc
was going TO send his wifc to the
country for IA few weeks and he need
ed tho money.
iic pushed mo into the chnir bv
i"''o h"" 'oii III" to open my mouth. VI
! Ind my eyes closed. hut nm quite
positive he stepped inside with his
hob-nailcd shoes nnl walked around
from tho way II hurt. When ho
came out hc nskcd mo who thcr I was
getting my tooth pulled on account Of
tho hard times and high priccs OF
provisions. or wlcthcr i was having II
removed just for amusement told
lin that wantcl t,g,t n divorce
FROM that Particular molxr 30 I could