The Springdale news., 1907-01-18
A Widows Inconsistency
Copyright. 1906. by P. c. Eastment.l ]

I Copyright. 1906. by P. C. Eastmentl
 The Widow Henderson employed 1 hired man to run things, and she hadn't l been q widow five months when he quit l hoeing potatoes one day to come up from the field and make her an offer ] of marriage She indignantly ordered l him to pack up and move along. and l before night he was gone.
 l Hired man No. vas told to take warning by the fate Of No 1. and he i restrained his love until one iay after ] her year of mourning was ID. The widow hal bought l new COW and the i COW turned out to be d kicker When l she had knocked the hired man off the milk stool three times in succession and he was running for q fence rail to pound her to jelly the widow came out to the barnyard and said.
 Its all your fault. Joe. l can milk that COW night and morning for q year. and she will never stir a hoof
 She took the pail and stoo! and sat down She had been milking for five minutes and was just about 10 look around with a smile of superiority on her face when the cows right leg shot out like the piston rod of an engine, and the widow and the pail and the stool went end over end and brought up against the fence.
 Joe fan over to pick the woman up and say something about her smart ness, but she was unconscious Then he dropped down on his knees and begged her to come back to earth for his sake He loved her like mad Niagara and couldn't live without her. He seized her hand and pressed 1t. and In his emotion he even went So far as to print q kiss on her marble brow.
 But IL was one kiss only. While he was puekering his mouth for second one the widow awoke from her solar plexus blow and rose up and kicked him harder than the cow had kicked her He started to hunt another job,
 A third hired man took his place. He knew of the fate of his predecessors, and yet not two months had gone by when he put his foot into the same bear trap. He had fallen in love at first sight. but had been very careful not to show it. His suspenders held him until one day he got q third drink of hard cider, and then he tried to take the widows hand and tell his bye. He got the hand against one of his sun burned ears. He also got the bounce.
 When hired man No. brought his trunk the Widow Henderson decided to leave nothing to chance She looked i'm, ir,t tha nd set T want no nonsense. The minute you begin to play the fool I'll begin to bounce you. I am hiring you for a hired man and not for husband
 You refer to the men who have de parted?" queried the man, whose name was Tom Parker and who neither look ed nor acted like the average hired man.
 Yes, sir, I do"
 They were idiots enough to fall in love with you, understandY''
 II don't know as there was anything so idiotie about their falling i'll love with me" answered the widow, q bit provoked but want no such tom fool nonsense.'
 And you shall have none from me l wouldn't marry the best woman that ever squinted up her eyes to thread alarming needle"
 The widow had set out to tell the new hired man what was what. and when she came to think it over she couldn't figure that she had got the best of it. He knew his business as a hired man and attended to it. While be was of the family, he was not with it. He kept to himself as much as pos sible, and, while respectful and will ing, he was quite formal The widow stood it for a couple of weeks and then began 10 feel piqued over it. The only one she had to consult with was her hired girl, and one day she said to her:
 Don't you think the new hired man queer acting fellow
 He's very standoffish. I see. He hasn't asked me two questions since he came"
 The others used to ask you about me. didn't they?' queried the widow
 "A hundred questions"
 And they sait1 I was smart and good lool1ing?'
 They were forever saying so and can't understand about Thomas, as he makes me call him."
 The widow couldn't either. She want ed no marriage proposals, but she did want to feel that she was of some ac- l count in the hired mans eyes. It miffed her to find that Parker treated her as inditferently as the we'll pole, though with the greatest respect. and that he preferred to sit in his own room of an evening rather than enjoy her society in the family room. She | discovered that he was better educated than she was, had good business ideas and that he could beat her all hollow at buying and selling. She had a rag to chew. and she chewed 1t for many l long weeks She had threatened to bounce him if he fell In love with her, and now she was mad because he hadn't
 AS she chewed she found herself ad- miring and liking, and one day when | she was churning the butter 1t came