davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1907-04-26
BILL NYE ON ROLLER SKATES.
Famous HumOrist's Description of
Trying to Learn.

Famous HumOrist's Description of
Trying to Learn.
Something like twenty years ago
there was a roller skating craze, such
as is prevalent now, and the late Bill
Nye, one of the most famous humorists
Of the country, tried them. Then he
wrote the following:
"The roller skate is a wayward little
quadruped. 1t Is as frolicsome and
more innocent looking than a lamb, but
for interfering with ones upright atti-
tude in the community, it is, perhaps,
the best machine that has appeared in
Salt Lake City.
"One's first feeling on standing up
on a pair of roller skates is an uncom-
Portable tendency to come from togeth-
er. One foot may start out toward
Idaho, while the other as promptly
starts out for Arizona. The legs do
not stand by each other, as legs re-
lated by blood should do but each
shows a disposition to set up in busi-
ness alone, and leaves you to take care
Of yourself as best you may. The awk-
wardness of this arrangement must be
apparent. While they are setting up
independently, there Is nothing for you
to do but sit down and await future
developments. And you have to sit
down, too, without having made any
previous preparation for it, and with
out having devoted as much thought to
it as you might have done had you been
consulted in the matter.
"There are different kinds Of falls
in vogue at the rink. There are the
rear falls and front falls, the Cardinal
Wolsey fall, the fall one across the
other, three in pile, and so on. There
are some of the falls l would like to be
excused from describing. The rear fall
is the favorite. 1t is more frequently
utilized than any other. There are two
positions In skating, the perpendicular
and the horizontal. Advanced skaters
prefer the perpendicular, while others
affect the horizontal.
skaters are no respecters Of per-
sons. They will lay out a minister of
the gospel or the mayor Of the city as
readily as they will short-coated, one
boy or giddy girl.
"The equipments for the rink are
q pair of skates, cushion and a bot
tie of liniment"
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1907-04-26
Stood the Test.

Allcock's ? asters have successfully
stood the test of sixty years. use by the pub
lie; their virtues have never been equalled
by the unscrapulous i'm tators who hive
sought to trade upon the reputation of
Allcock's by making plasters with holes III
them, claiming them to be ''jusI as God as
Alicock's."
Allcock's plasters stand today indorsed
by not only the highe medical author
ities but by millions of grateful patients
who have proved their efficacy as a house
hold remedy.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1907-04-26
Filipinos Go TO Hawaii.

Filipino laborers are leaving Manila
for Hawaii in parties of from so to 100.
These men and their families go to
Hawaii as contract laborers on sugar
plantations. Extension of sugar rails
ing in the Philippines can not be car
ried on while the door of the great
American market is practically shut
against Philippine products
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1907-04-26
An Everxdnx Occurrences.

"The clearing in court of that receiver
of stolen goods was homely sort of tri-
umph for the lawyers"
I'm what way?'
ut was a whitewashing of the fence"
Baltimore American.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1907-04-26
His Intellectual Size.

Cholly Nitwit-D'ye know, Miss Cut
ter, though I've only just met you.
there seems to be a-er-sort of intel
lectual sympathy between us. You
know just how to appeal to my tastes,
you ~now. Are you literary woman
Dolly Cutter-No, I'm kindergarten
teacher.-Cleveland Leader.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1907-04-26
No AnoInrr Needed

II hope our running the graphophone
last night didn't annoy you," said the
renter of the third floor fat
"WhatT responded the new renter of
the fourth floor fiat, producing an ear
trumpet.
81 say it's a fine morning." beloved
the other, into the trumpet.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1907-04-26
Only One "BROMO oulNINE"

That is LAXATIVE BRoMO ouinine. SINH.
larly named remedies sometimes deceive
The first and original Cold Tablet is WHITE
PACKAGE with black and red lettering, and
bears the signature OF (. w. GROVE. 25c.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1907-04-26
PIlts CURED IN 6 1o14 DAYS.

PAzo OINTMENT is guaranteed to cure any
case oil iching, blind, bleeding or protruding
piles in to II days or money refunded.5Oc
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1907-04-26

M. Griffiths, French scientist, has dis
covered evidence of radio-activity in the
petals of several flowers including VERDE
mas, sunfiowers and geraniums.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1907-04-26
Awful.

81 feel awfully sorry for Mabel, don't
your
why sorry?"
'The poor girl can't blush."-Wash-
ington Star.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1907-04-26

Pins have been found among the Egyp-
tian mummies and in the prehistoric caves
of Switzerland.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1907-04-26

Mothers will find Mrs. winnow's Soothinf
syrup the best remedy to use for their children
during tho teetning period.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1907-04-26
Made n Wonderful Record,

maue WOnuerIui RecOrd.
Knicker-IIow did Whackem qualify
as a railroad expert?
Bocker-He once caught train by a
time table-New York Sun.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1907-04-26

Goodness gracious! Why not?"
"He seemed to prefer to cauterize the
place the dog Baltimore Ameri-
can,
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1907-04-26
Had to Stand for II.

Bacon-The leader of that orchestra
is on his feet nearly the whole time,
isn't he?
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1907-04-26

Egbert-Yes it really seems too bad
that he has to stand for that playing.
-Yonkers Statesman.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1907-04-26

Much OF the country through which tn
Siberian railway passes had never bs>,I.
traversed by white men before the survey
ors came.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1907-04-26
Literal Information.

did the doctor cauterize that dogs
bite for you?"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-12-22

resting both hands the mantel shelf, looked at
the long row of photographs:
I'm not afraid she said. " Indeed, Harry, L
don't know any place where one feels so well chap
eroned as here,-dowagers and duchesses all about
one and simple innocent little girls who ought to be
in short frocks instead of ball dresses and then all
these stage ladies who would fight for you If you
looked at another woman,-that is if you willing
to believe half they write on their photographs.
What became of the girl you used to have here in
front of the clock? She very impressive blonde
1 remember her; looked like young matron.
The present one seems to have rather dark hair
and an angel child smirk. Who is she?"
Carmichael went to the fireplace and took
up the photograph and looking at it carefully, drew
his lips in straight line That's very nice girl,
he said. The features of the blonde matron got
harder and harder every day. don't know whether
it was leaning against those iangling chimes, or
just married life; but had to sky her. He waved
his hand in the direction of the panel over the
doorway. There she is between Mettie Carlisle,
the lady in the bathing suit, and Lady Margaret
Donald the British parsonage with her hair in
mop. And shell stay there too Anybody that has
to be hung with stepladder has reached her final
What an awful fate!" Miss Maynard sighed ct
was very good of you to ask us tonight Who are
Well, there arr, the, Jim Hoaglandss, and the
Arthur Lowrys, and Ledyard and his wife, and the
Henrys and you and ten of us. :"
"My!" said Miss Maynard but that crowd does
make feel terribly unmarried! Every time l
look about the table shall feel that I've shirked
my responsibilities
Not at ALL asked them purpose. They're
all married and naturally all play bridge. After
dinner I'm going to have two tables in the library.
and you and can out here and talk it over"
The dnner?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.
Rita" he said If you look like that I'm likely
to talk about anything!
Even me- Harry"
Even you. Rita even you"
And then the other guests began to arrive, and
for the time being Carmichael saw little OF Miss
Maynard.
This dinner" said Carmichael when they
all seated table, is the result of purely selfish
idea of mine to bring little of what is called the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-12-22

girl as she stood with her upfted glass; perhaps
it that in her voice and IN her manner there
was certain note of sincerity but whatever it was,
the toast was quite different from the Others.
Il propose she had said, with certain hesita
ton in her words, that we drink to the good health
and happiness of host and also to his hope that
he may find little of the Christmas spirit tonight
after we have gone. For all the kindly things he
has done during his lifetime; think he deserves it
True to the hosts word the dinner short
one and it was not much later than nine when the
tables had been set for bridge, the game was well
under way, and Miss Maynard and Carmichael had
returned to the little study
Did you ever the view from these windows
winter night like this" Carmichael asked, and
to his side and for moments they stood at the
high French windows silently looking out on the
park great stretch of newly fallen snow, and the
trees sheathed in ice, and every twig and branch
glistening in the white glare of the electric lights.
mo-, she said, Il don't think ever have. You
know this is the first time l have been here this
year. It's quite wonderful, isn't it! Harry,
don't see nearly enough of each other in winter"
Il know. 1t really seems as if we could get to-
gether only in summer, doesn't it! But l think
that is usually the way with ones real friends That
was a nice little speech you made, Rita. very
nice And he dropped his hand to his side and
gave hers gentle pressure. Il suppose, he con-
tinued, if you really wanted to you could get the
true Christmas spirit out there in the snow, no?
Even now there may be some poor devil freezing
in the park yonder, and you wouldn't have to look
very far through the tenements over on the West
Side to get chance to make hit as Santa Claus,
would your"
Miss Maynard walked over to the fire and settled
back in deep easy chair, with the tips of her
satin slippers resting the fender. is that your
idea of the Christmas spirit?' she asked.
Carmichael still stood looking out at the snow
and beating slow tattoo on the window pane with
his knuckles. "Oh, 1 don't know just what do
mean. 1 suppose the real significance of the day
has all gone, far as concerned; but it's left
a sort of general desire to want to do something
for somebody for no particular reason" The young
man came over and sat low stool at the girls
feet with his back to the fire.
It's just of those bugaboos that all we bach
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-12-22

Christmas spirit into a poor
bachelors apartment. l can't
call it a home, because any
bachelor apartment is a disgrace
to the name. l suppose you
good married women would have
preferred a few unattached
young men to chat with you,
and you old men would have
rather liked to sit between very
foolish young girls but l wanted
only old friends and the kind
who might leave a little of the
aroma of home about the place
after you had gone back to your
Christmas trees. Rita s presence
needs no excuse. She is the
only jenne file here; first, be-
cause she is my oldest friend, for
we played together as children,
and second, because she doesn't
play bridge now"
Is this a speech?" asked
Hoagland. Because if 1T is 1
should think this would be the
psychological moment to drink
somebody's health,-Miss May
nard's by all means preferred"
"A1l right" said Carmichael;
but before l conclude my
rhetoric l want to warn you
that you bridge players had
better fix your points now, be-
cause while the dinner is to be
short it will be rather rich and
conducive to large stakes"
After this Carmichael gave
way to the others, and the din
ner passed on as happily as
small, we'll appointed dinners
among friends are apt to do.
Being but small party, the con-
versation was general; so that
every story, even every new and
old joke, had its hearers, and
before the end everyone had
drunk jokingly to the good
health of everyone else; that is,
except in the case of the toast
to Carmichael. This was pro-
posed by Rita Maynard, and
perhaps it was on account of
the wonderful beauty of the
The San Francisco call., 1907-01-06
ROSS ON RACE SUICIDE

DROFESSOR EDWARD A ROSS who in years gone by fut-
Jered the dove of Stanford University with disturbing doc
still the bull in the economic china shop One scarcely
knows whether he gains suffers by the lack OF intelligence
his interpreters One of the fatwted of these Pro-
the of sounding warning against
de in lecture delivered Brown University, R. l. AS
fact Professor Ross did exactly the contrary
with fatooted commentator OF diminishing birth We
quote from the lecture:
immediate diminished
of diffusion
reduction
poverty,
unlocked which,
sibilty in the matter OF remarkable
There nothing in this view 1t has always been the
cepted doctrine of political but that prevent
of the nations from rejecting moral and social
grounds This indicated by the udcrous blum
of the atted interpreter aforesaid who failing
still that college professor
be guilty OF anything quite respectable and ereupon issued
Ross gratutous certificate of good moral character
Pttsburg monares who keep their escapades
of the newspapers should have organized Pennypace
lost his grip the Legislature.
The San Francisco call., 1907-01-06
MORE PErTIcoAT DIPLOMACY

7HE ambassador business complicated by shopping
occasionally explosive feminine what is cracked up
be- long Coerdge remarked that diplomacy
supposed mysteries all stuff Recent disclosures
promote belief that there stiff infusion of petcoat politics
in the mixture.
1t not alone uncomfortable unimey of
whom Theodore Roosevelt has named
that came as Christmas PRESENT. merely the medding
and uddmg Beamy and Maria and the molten flow
ephets inspire this judgment but likewise the
gay OF Lady Townley and the catfish methods
by which She accomplished the hn discontinue and downfall OF
Henry Durand the retiring Embassador of HIS Most Gracious
Majesty King Edward VII at the court Of Washington
Lady Susan the wife OF former attache of the British
bassy She did approve of Lady Durand
whose blue besides something of
puritan Thank heaven said Lady Susan after her husband had
Job longer go
country daughter In Washington of social
strictly respected instance
court of Vienna but under our humble and simple form of gov
only this social roll
es in play in that sacred ceremony known as going in to
During the period when Lady compelled to submit
M form Of degradation she became great friends with the Count
Cassni wife of the Russian Embassador Now, Lady Durand
distinctly dsapprOved OF this vvaciou Countess and would
Lady length forbdding
invited The British wrapped herself in her mantle
indignant and drew her respectable skirts aside She
only threw the first stone, but kept throwing.
But the gay likewise great friends with Alice
Roosevelt the present Mrs Longworth and happened that
this influence quickly extended Sir Henry who in fact
nothing sport very little OF good fellow Lady
be known exalted quarters the other side of the
Atlantic that the French Ebasador haDualy played tennis with
the President while the German Enbasado Baron Spek
Sterrburg Of aecionate intimacy
called him pet
Specy British interests being mpered for of
body who could be slapped the back like good fellow In truth
whispered Henry something good
deal Of pg agreed that he neither
a lubricant Of Washington society
Now they sending us James Bryce the distinguished author
Of the American Commonwealth and by way of making him
tracye Washington society they propose make him
The force Of absurdy could no farther 90 That man OF Brvces
should be expected obscure himself
dYal disguise make him acceptable Of intriguing
only serves to confirm Coedges remark that diplomacy
is stuff"
The San Francisco call., 1907-01-06

make
protection and provide for their enforcement
There will be take judgment the railroad
companies penalties without due given What
be done will be dictated by spirit justice and fair play
the the country but action regard
this recommendation is dictated by much wider considerations
the complications of the prevailing blockade We do
wish minimize the suffering in the Northwest due to lack OF
but the fact that railroads have had the either from
caprice favor deny of transportation will lies
of monopoly and the 1t very dangerous form
of discrimination menacng the rebates which have
been made criminal oense We have how California
transportation the railroads has operated
build up the Standard Oil the OF the inde
pendent producers.
1t may be that the railroads trying do douberack
single lines and that production has greatly
of transportation We realize the difficulties of the
and that there for hasy punitive action but
that whole public will demand that the
discriminate by denying transportation producers not in the
elimination adequate punishment shall follow.
The San Francisco call., 1907-01-06
JUSTICE TO THE PHILIPPINES.

THE of the Philippines their people
very disgraceful chapter Of national
certain that the moral OF the
y approve the wrong done helpless people
fact that indifference coupled with lack of knowledge has
med selfish interests exploit the archipelago and impovesh
defenseess people The feeling the islands
indicated by the following paragraph from the report submitted
by Secretary Taft:
of
providing for the refund OF duties articles exported from
and
being exploited for the benefit Of certain interests the United States
has been taken from the comparative of the nu treasury
Of Philippine hemp the United States for their
Of political Of simple justice the Flipinos"
II the sugar tobacco and hemp of the are permitted
here reasonable will be great
of San Francisco, well justice to
Filipinos
The San Francisco call., 1907-01-06
Personal Mention

Arthur A. Kahn is at the Majestic.
w o. Stuart of Chicago is at the Ma
jestic
E. n. Hyde of Chicago is at the JEFF
ferson.
John Barneson of san>Mateo is at the
Palace.
Humboldt Gates of Tonopah is at the
Palace.
Phil Harris is at the Jefferson from
st. Louis
M P. Dalton of New York is at the
Dorchester.
Fred Houland of Boston is at the
Dorchester.
w. H RutIedge is at the st. Francis
from Tonopah.
Robert ]. Kerr of Mexico City is at
the st. Francis.
MP. Fox of New York is registered
at the ST. Francis
P. ]. Mccullough of New York is at
the Majestic Annex.
Mrs. W. G. Hunter of stockton is at
the Majestic Annex.
]. Z. Cushing of the Stanford Uni
versity is at the Jefferson.
H H. Nanny and Mrs Nanny of
Seattle are at the st. Francis.
Albert r. Riggs and Mrs. Riggs of
Los Angeles are at the Majestic Annex.
The San Francisco call., 1907-01-06
In the Joke World

Friend-Who was that funny old
party you We're speaking to just now?
That was my wife" (sighing deep
lyl, but she isn't at all funny l can
tell you."-Bombe.
: oh" said the concefted youth, y
can marry most any girl 1 wish''
1ouV We got that rather twisted"
said Wise. You mean you wish you
could marry most any girl.'-Philadel-
phia Press
Mrs. Keene-Have all the other la
dies arrived?
Inc Maid-Yes'm; you're the last one
MRS. heene-Well. you'd better an
nounce me. so that they can get
through talking about me before I go
in--Cleveland Leader.
Or. stephen H. Robin, pastor of the
Soiufnpus-avenue Universalist Church,
Boston, was calling on an old lady, one
OF his parishioners, before going away
on ms summer vacation, when his
cnurcn is always closed. The old lady
evidently does not believe in ministerial
vacations, for she said:
Doctor. remember Satan never takes
vacations"
MY dear madam" answered the doc
Tor never did believe in Initiating
satan. Boston Herald.
The San Francisco call., 1907-01-06

the final disposition tine nKs here
| in Of the Relief and Red cross
should be set aside & lot @ has
offs
reputation wide
haven
a Hospital andal
tonIy
should be asked to contribute 70
time its
politics board OF cess
of
d
has
fund to
the state Chief o. tbe
Chamber of Commerce 80
hofth elect for term
This board TO e0n
nduet the busine Of hospital
the the
the
be scheme; 1t would
people for
to diseases peuHar 70 ~
studied nowhere else
MILL
relief rehabilitation and pro-
viding homes
this Is done
and
ln1sH 1s adon+ad =
The San Francisco call., 1907-01-06
THE CAR SHORTAGE AND DISCRIMINATION.

7E report of Interstate Commerce Commissioner Franklin K
Lane the prevailing shortage chiefly show the
difficulties of the subject but general way indicates
the railroads. from another have fulfilled
public The question OF remedies left although
suggestions thrown by Mr. Lane Among
report makes this tentative recommendation
be
railroads shall penalty
The San Francisco call., 1907-01-06
How People Would
Use S4,OOO,0OO

1HE CALLS the best plan submitted .0i
ributng 100000 surplus that is worrying
n the Relief Corporation aroused much attention N 90
Francisco and parts of the State judging from the
4 has called forth varied character OF tne
gesons made disposng the $400oO0O it IS eVoen
develop into public symposium on :.
;d.d interest and that the Relief Corporation will not be at
loss for getting of the incubus when the pze Is ~
tually
The San Francisco call., 1907-01-06

Townsend's CAL glace fruits and can
dies at Emporium. Post and Van Ness,
1850 Sutter St and 1903 and 1920 Va
lencia ST.
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1907-11-04
Pedestrian MAKING Good.

Bristol, Conn. Nov Edward Pay
son Weston arrived here at 10 o'clock
this morning. four hours ahead Of his
schedule time.
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1907-11-04
The Dran Is Here.

The spliot log drag is here. 1t was
exhibited this afternoon, and an al
tempt was made to drag a section Of
North Sycamore street, but it was in
no condition for the drag. The mud
had reached that stage where It is as
stiff as putty, and in no condition for
dragging.
Street Supervisor Schnorr says he
has very little faith in the drag. The
Herald has a great deal of faith in it.
when properly applied. This road
maker has the fullest endorsement
from the agricultural department -
the U. S. government, and from the
thousands who are using it all over
the country. Given a fair chance it
viii greatly improve the roads and
streets on which it is used. The prop
er time to apply it is when the roads
are soft, and not after they have be-
gun to dry out in hard clots and ruts,
as is now the case.
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1907-11-04
GEO. LANDE PLEADED
GUILTY TO CHARGE
Special TO the Herald.

ST. Louis. Mo. Nov. 4.-Councilman
Geo. c. Lande today pleaded guilty to
the indictment charging him fifth NAL
feasance in office. and paid a fine of
$500. He had accepted a city con-
tract in violation Of the city charter.
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1907-11-04
ouAsHED THE SUMMONS
Served on John D. Rockefeller In Suit
Of Phelps Against Standard.

Findlay. o., Nov. 4.-The common
pleas court today quashed the sum.
mons served on John d. Rockefeller
in the suit by George II. Phelps
against the Standard Oil company.
The court held that Rockefeller. when
in Cleveland, was ON private business
and not as the head Of a foreign cor
poration doing business in the state.