Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1907-05-31
FIXING the
BARN ROOF.

Slowly and painfully the assistant
DILL clerk walked into the shipping
room. He limped to the billing desk
and carefully moved the high stool.
But he did not sit down.
whats wrong?" asked the ship
cling clerk.
y sure hate to tell" the bill clerk
answered, "but I guess III have to re-
ate all the harrowin' details. Ny
wife's never satisfied. been maxim
, garden al week around the barn.
out that amt enough. Yesterday
mornin' at the breakfast table she
says, sudden like:
Eusophus, that barns got to be
shingled. To-day's q mighty good day
to do it.
well. sir. there wasn't nothing to
40 but get to work. So got shovel
to rake the shingles of with and then
[ got ladder to climb up on the roof.
The ladder was kind O. wobbly, so my
wife said she'd hold 1t. I was carry
In the spade in one hand and our kid
was helpin' my wife hold the ladder.
I'd gone up about six rounds when
the pesky. thing got shaky. One O. my
feet slipped and went right in my
wife's face. She howled an got
scared. dropped the fool spade and
It hit the kid square on top of the
head. He howleA, too. Then the lad.
der broke In. the middle an dropped
In the rainbarrel.
"Well, we laid OF about an hour for
repairs and then we went att again.
[ patched the ladder up and this time
got to TIL roof all right. Then I
started to make those shingles fly with
that shovel. And got along fine. too.
That Is, till l got down to the caves.
Then I didn't have any place to stand.
When the Gutter Gave Away.
'How'm I goin' to get these
shingles orr l yelled to my wife, who
was sittin' on the porch.
Stand in the gutter she yelled
back. did-for about two seconds.
Then the gutter broke an let me down
In tn flower garden on top O three
rose bushes and cactus plant. Amt
It funny how mad woman gets? She
didn't think nothin' Of all them stick
ers in my hide. She Just gave me
about II lectures cause broke those
rose bushes. There wasn't anything
could say back cause my wife
talked too fast. When that woman
gets started you might az well try to
stop q 10000 horsepower benzine
buggy on q slayin' expedition.
"I must guessed wrong she says.
indignant like. I don't think you can
single that barn
well, that sure did make me sore.
I up. and told her just to watch her
husband an she'd see some develop.
ments. l put the ladder up against
the barn after I'd picked most O. the
sdckers outen me and started to
WORK again. I had to stand on the
ladder and pull the shingles OF with
my hands. About every two minutes
that ladder'd slip an LET me down on
those rose bushes again. When got
through pallin' the shingles on
looked like q pin cushion in . WON.
ans golf club on busy day.
Il got Ill the shingles Of, fbut tho
nails wouldn't come. They were all
stickin' up from the under timbers.
Better drive those nails In fore
you start shinglin'.' my wife says. \
= who's bossin' this Job. anyhow!
yelled. Twas gettin' mad. I guess ]
know Whist I'm doin.' I'll drive tn
nails in al go along. I'll save time
by It, Well, climbed up over the nails
to the top O. tn barn. never saw
30 many nails IN my life as there were
sticking outen those undertimbers. Tn
men that did that job certainly weren't
stingy. When got to tn top o tn
roof found out I'd forgotten to bring
my hammer. l started down-an'
slipped. Over all those nails went
about mile second. Then ! landed
in tn rainbarrel again. My wife
pulled me out. Bleedinr oh. no.
Just looked like somebody had started
. butcher shop and used me for the
meat. No. ! didn't work any more
that day."
And the bill clerk limped to the tele
phone to call up a carpenter.