davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1907-07-05
Both Out and In.

The Needy One-I say, old man.
could you lend me a dollar for a day
or two? The Other One-My dear fel-
low, the dollar I lend is out at present,
and I've several names down for it
when it comes back.-Harper's Weekly.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1907-07-05
The Drawback,

Mile. Victorine confides to the jan
tors wife that her mistress, who is old
and feeble, has promised to remember
her in her will if she takes good care
Of her till she dies. The janitor's wife
shrugs her shoulders.
The worst of that is, my dear, that
the better you take care of her the
longer you'll have to wait for your
legacy.'-Paris Journal.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1907-07-05
DANGEROUS,

Father-What are you doing, Emma?
Daughter-Oh, Arthur is coming to-
night, and I'm cooking something for
him. Father-Emma, Emma, you'd
better be careful. You'll keep on cook
ing for him till he breaks the engage
ment.-Heitere Welt.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1907-07-05

We have arranged with The Weekly
inter Ocean so that our patrons can
secure that sterling paper, together with
own, at the exceedingly low price of
o. for me year. This is a rare OPP
unity and should be taken advaut-
age of.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1907-07-05
A WEIGH Off.

II want to get a pair of scales" re-
marked the customer. Have you the
ambuscade maker"
whats the Ambassador" inquired
the clerk.
"Well," returned the customer, Il am
given to understand that they're the
kind which lie in weight.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1907-07-05
impairment

when l was coming home last
night" said Miss Skeery, Il saw a man
skulking along in the shadow. Oh,
how 1 ran" AN couldn't you catch
him?' inquired her little brother in
nocently.-Cleveland Leader.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1907-07-05
PaPA's STORY.
His Attempt to Tell 1t While Trying TO
Put Robert Asleep.

Tell me a story"
"Ill tell you just one If you will
promise to go to sleep"
MY pajamas don't feel good"
Don't think about them. I'll tell
you a story. but one will be all"
Mr.. Todd sat beside the bed and be
gan:
"Once there was a little uOy"-
whats his name?"
II forget"
Didn't he have any name?'
Yes, to be sure he had, Don't inter.
rupt me, Robert"
Then what was it,"
why, his name was-his name was
Julius"
"Julia's q girls name"
This boys name was Julius. not
Julia. He was named for julius Gaze
sar."
II know something about Julius
Caesar" Robert exclaimed, sitting up
suddenly and quoting:
Julius Caesar
Was a wise old geezer,
But he froZe off his feet
In a ice cream freezer"
where did you ever hear such q
thing as that?"
alfred Potts told it to me-"
well, don't you yer let me hear
you use that word 'geeZer' again. Now
go to sleep"
but you didn't tell me the story"
"All right. This isn't about Julius
Caesar at all. julius Caesar was n
king, and he died a long time ago"
when he froze his feet off, papa?"
HE didn't freeze his feet. That is
a piece Of Stiffness Alfred Potts told
you"
What is a piece of Stiffness, papa?"
Don't ask me such foolish questions.
Settle down and go to sleep II I'll go
back downstairs and leave you alone
Papa, my pajamas don't feel good"
81 told you not to think about them.
Now, listen and I'll tell you about this
little boy. He went out one day and
saw
"WaS his name JuliuS?"
Eyes, yes!' Mr.. Todd answered. His
name was julius, and he
Did he die a long time ago."
mo. julius Caesar died a long time
ago. This boy didn't"
where does he live nowT'
81 don't know. Be STILL"
How'd you know what's his name,
then?'
well he lives-he lives in a town
somewhere. And one day he went out
and saw a tree that was simply full of
birds. The BIRDS
What did the birds do"
"The birds sang, of course
What did they sing?"
'"They sang songs. Now, if you want
me to tell you this story you will have
to be quiet. So this boy looked up at
the birds and
MY pajamas don't feel good"
"They never will feel good if you
don't stop thinking about them. So
this boy looked up at the birds, and
he was a bad boy-and he thought it
would be smart to throw a stone at
them"
Did he?"
Yes, he threw a stone at the poor
little birds"
"And what did the stone do?"
at made the birds fly. And them
Papa"
"WeIl?"
what did the fly do?"
What fly"
THE fly it made the birds into"
Robert Gallahue Todd, 1 am going
downstairs, and If you are not asleep
in two minutes l shall punish you..'
Mr.. Todd strobe from the room, and
at the stairs he halted at the sight Of
a woman sitting on the top step with
her face in her hands and her Shout
ders and sides shaking. 1t was his
wife.-Wilbur Nesbit in Success Mag
azina
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1907-07-05

1t takes a lot of courage on the part
Of a young man to tell a girl how pref
ty some other girl is.-St. Louis Globe
Democrat.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1907-07-05
Count Okuma,
The Japanese
Grand Old Man

"AWY HAT is the feeling about
A America in JAPAN and
what Is the feeling about
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1907-07-05

IHC ny II 1uU IN DITU5 IIt0.
Robert Gallahue Todd, l am going
downstairs, and If you are not asleep
in two minutes 1 shall punish youw.
Mr.. Todd strobe from the ROOM, and
at the stairs he halted at the sight Of
a woman sitting on the top step with
her face in her hands and her Shout
ders and sides shaking. 1t was his
wife.-Wilbur Nesbit in Success Mag
aZine.
Imperial Valley press and the Imperial press., 1907-01-12
Notice of Assessment

Holton Power company; location of principal place of business, RedIands, California.
 Notice Is hereby given that at a meeting of the directors held on Jan uary 8. 1907. an assessment of three dollars per share Assessment number ) was levied upon the capital stock of the corporation, payable forthwith to the secretary at room number fourteen of the Hubbard block, In the city of Redlands, in the county of San Der nardlno, State of California. Any stock upon which this assessment shall remain unpaid on March 5, 1907 will be delinquent and advertised for sale at public auction, and unless payment is made before will be sold on May |, 1907, to pay the delinquent assessment together with costs of advertising and expenses of sale.
 C. A. BARKER. Secretary.
 Room IA Hubbard Block, Redlands, California. 4O-44
Imperial Valley press and the Imperial press., 1907-01-12
Brawley Budget

From our specialteorrespondsnt.
 Nj. P. Mansfield came In the train, Tuesday morning.
 Mir. Thompson Is In F. H. Stanley's office.
 Mir. Day, of Redlands, Cal, has again returned
 Harry Stewart returned Saturday evening from Los Angeles, where he has been spending few days.
 w. T. Dunn returned Friday even- Ing from Calexlco, where he has been tending the bank in the absence of MT Morrison.
 Pete Walker came home Saturday from the intake. He gives quite fa- v-rable report of the work going on there.
 ]. c. Thompson, of the New river ranch came to Brawley, Monday, and stayed over Tuesday to attend the No. 8 water meeting.
 The same directors of Water Go. No. 4 were reelected except Harry Stewart was put in Mir. Grochen's place.
 Mir. Cory attended the No. 8 water meeting on Tuesday.
Imperial Valley press and the Imperial press., 1907-01-12

j. M. Price, of Brawley, was In Holtvllle, Tuesday. attending the meeting of Imperial Water company No. 5 and representing the Imperial Investment company's stock.
 K. L. Kendle has erected some neat signs on hls new real estate office.
 w. B. Richards left Tuesday for Los Angeles vi h two carloads of choice fat hogs, for which he received the highest market price.
Imperial Valley press and the Imperial press., 1907-01-12
CHILDREN AND COFFEE.

It is the best judgment of physicians and ordinary folk who have taken pains to observe that it is better for children under sixteen years to do without coffee, while if it is used by those above this age it should be mild. There are thousands of homes all over the country where strong black coffee drunk two or three times day Is re-
 sDOnsible for stunted growth, nervous ness. irritablity, sleeplessness and a general run down condition in both young and old. If parents note thNse
Imperial Valley press and the Imperial press., 1907-01-12

You want to remember MT. Farmer, that Wilson is still selling farm implements at invoice prices. That's cheaper than anyone else. See Wilson about it, Thelma hotel, Imperial, Cal.
Imperial Valley press and the Imperial press., 1907-01-12
Pianos

The one price house of San Diego is selling pianos at eastern prices and underselling other coast houses. The One Price House sells the famous Henry F. Miller, Chickerng Bros. Ivers & Pond, Decker, Grown and oth- CT well known and proven makes and has exclusive agency for this county. Easy terms arranged. Thearle & company. lO25-lO3l Fifth street, San Diego, Cal. Mrs. J. l. Shepherd. special local representative at lmperi- al. n-24-tf
Imperial Valley press and the Imperial press., 1907-01-12

Wilson has lots of calls from parties who want to lease Imperial Valley ranches. Come in MT. Landlord and see Wilson about it, if you want to lease your ranch. At Thelma Hotel, Imperial, Cal.
Imperial Valley press and the Imperial press., 1907-01-12
HoItville Happenings
From onr Reenlat eorrespondent.

From Our Regular Correspondent
 F. A. Yeakle, of the Imperial Tele- phone company, was doing business In Holtvllle, Monday.
 Marcellus Sargent has moved to his ranch north of Holtvllle, and Is putting same under cultivation.
 John B. Baker, of Calexlco, was a business visitor in Hotvile, Monday.
 ]. E. Peck, of Calexlco, was doing business in Holtville, Monday, check ing up accounts with water companies Nos. and 2.
 The Ladies Aid Society of the M. E. church held their meeting last Wednesday, at the home of Mrs. F. ]. Cole and busied themselves making a quilt for the parsonage, the material for the quilt having been the gift of Mrs. Cole and Mrs. Bridenstine. The next regular meeting of the ladies will be at the home of Mrs. Sam Webb, on "Wednesday, January 18th.
 E. M. Boyd. representing several large newspapers, was in Holtville, Monday. conferring with the officers of the chamber of commerce for the purpose of securing advertising con- tracts for his papers in which he wishes to publish illustrated articles regarding the Imperial Valley and Its resources and opportunities.
 The directors of Imperial Water company No. held board meeting on Monday and closed up their busi- ness for the past year.
 Rev. J. L. Pitner, the presiding eld- CT of the southern district of California of the M. E. church, is expected to visit Holtvllle on Friday of this week and hold services in the office of the water company on Friday evening, Jan. lth.
 A basket social is to be held in the Water company office on Saturday evening, January l2th, for the benefit of the Ladies Aid Society. A large crowd and a good time is expected.
Imperial Valley press and the Imperial press., 1907-01-12
Imperial Items

From our Regular Correspondent
 Mrs. Leroy Holt Is still dangerously lll Mrs. Huntington McKuslck was the guest of Mrs. Tout, Monday and Tues day.
 Mrs. L. c. Vlckrey returned this week from a four weeks visit at Long Beach.
 Miss Beulah Goode, the assistant principal of the high school, returned Sunday from San Diego, where she spent the holidays with her sister Mrs. Crabtree.
 R. D. McPherrln, our worthy mayor has returned from Los Angeles, where he spent Christmas with his family for the first time since coming to Imperial Valley, four years ago.
 Mrs. Laura Waters went out to Los Angeles on Wednesday, for short trip. Mrs. Frank Cline had for guests this week Mir. and Mrs. George Cline and Mrs. Hays, of Calexlco.
 Mr. and Mrs. Frank Stanley, of Brawiey, were guests of Imperial friends this week.
 An apology Is rendered Mir. and Mrs. ]. H. Edgar, whose names were inadvertently omitted in the list of guests at the Edgar reunion dinner. Elmer Peck returned Monday night to Santa Monica, where he Is attend ing the California Military Academy. George Cooley and wife, of Waverly. Nebraska. are visiting L. E. Cooley this week and may decide to become residents of the Valley.
 Mr. an d Mrs. c. w. Lucy. of Los Angeles, are new arrivals in Imperial.
 is manager of the Imperial
 y, Ice and Cold Storage plant
 bought the Rltner cottage.
 ammer, of Fl Centro, spent
 T Imperial
 :. c. Ravens and Morris, of
 tro, were visiting Imperial,
Imperial Valley press and the Imperial press., 1907-01-12

Have you tried one of the new cleo trical ironsp For sale by the Holton Power company. See advertisement in this issue.
Imperial Valley press and the Imperial press., 1907-01-12
Christian Church

Preaching in the Hotel Franklin every Second and Fourth Sunday of the month. You are invited to attend.
 REV. J. F. Tour. Pastor.
Imperial Valley press and the Imperial press., 1907-01-12
CHURCH NOTICES
Presbyterian Church

Preaching Services i'll Fl Centro First and Third Sundays of each month at 2:30,p. m. All are cordially invited to attend. REV, A. H. CRoco, Pastor.
Imperial Valley press and the Imperial press., 1907-01-12

Mrs. c. E. Combs, of Lincoln, Me- braska. has accepted the position of bookkeeper for inc Imperial Creamery, Ice and Cold Storage company and expects to become a permanent resi- dent of the Valley.
Imperial Valley press and the Imperial press., 1907-01-12

conditions count for { cofeepot dren plentI and note l low in thd continue | staining
 sense of
 plainly Ii ought not
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-06-14
AND STILL THEY COME.
Joaquin Miller, the Poet, Wants To Be
u. s. Senator.

joaquin Miller has gone 10 Canyon
City, Ore, to deliver Fourth Of July
oation, says the San Francisco Ex.
aminer. When asked about his Sena.
torial aspirations he smiled and replied
my home In Oregon has never been
abandoned, and II the people Of Oregon
should wish to demand my services as
United States Senator there is no rea.
son so far as ! know why they should
be deprived Of that privilege. One
thing, let me say, that would be
mighty glad to 90 to Washington from
my dear Oregon constituency. I would
love to 20 into the Senate Chamber and
brush the dust from the chair that
formerly was occupied by old Joe Lane
and let the United States know just
what the people OF the Pacific Coast
need and ought to have. After ! make
my Fourth Of July speech I will be
open for suggestions from the states
men of Oregon, and II the demand for
my election Is strong enough 1t Is the
right Of the people to command and my
duty to obey and accept Che burden Of
Office"
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-06-14

ne does; witness his strenuous treat
ment of his cousin, Prince Frederick
Henry, who has suddenly developed into
one OF the most letestable rogues
in the Empire involving the fame
and honor OF the imperial family
in the dirtiest scandal that has shocked
Europe for scores OF years. He calls
him into the presence, reads the latest
and foulest report Of the princes capers
TO him, tears the medals and ambassa.
dorial insignia from the breast Of his
confessing kinsman, slaps his face, and
orders him to leave the German realm
forever; and the eiserable debauche de-
parts for Egypt on the instant, shorn
OF every title, every attribute Of a
gentleman, with reputation dog
brute would not carry. This Is sharp
practice and wonderfully effective; and
it will be worth the watching as this
kingly man and gentleman deals with
the rest Of the gang Of titled leaders WIZ
made the disgraced princes practices
possible. 1t is pity We Of America
have not some such authority and re.
prisal for the kind Of creatures this
prince was; SOME indisputable code that
would blast and undo the life Of such
rarely bad men as this when they are
uncovered along with their sins and co.
sinners. The one-man power Is a superb
resource at times.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-06-14
WHAT ArLs JApANa

Japan is becoming civilized with a
vengeancel We always felt, here on the
western marge of the American eonti-
nent, that the "little brown man" was
our next and natural neighbor and that
he would develop pro-American spirit
inseparahle from the eontiguity and the
consciousness Of our protecting strength
and generous predisposition toward him;
that he would climb right along with us
and be an ardent friend for the sake of
all such a friendship might mean to
him. In fact, We were prepared to
maintain a ''big- -brotherly'' attitude and
have an eve out for him in his sturdy
struggle up the civilized heights; and
what do We beholdt The snappy little
runt has swung clean about and is pos
ing as our only avowed enemy in the
world, and is all but daring us to "come
on and take the licking he has in store
for usl
What is the matter with the Jap,
anyway They were preaching their
tradition, loyal devotion to the nation,
the Mikado, and all their Gods and his
tory, only few months ago, and
swearing by this people and government.
until one would have thought we we're
solely and wholly their best and biggest
friend and here they are screaming war
at us and having spasms day after day
because we don't kow tow to them
sufficiently.
They have taken the lid off OF home
politics and are going in for all the
friIls and fripperies of that cult and the
aspiring geniuses in the lead over there
have concluded that the surest route to
prefement and success, is by way of
giving us drubbing and taking over
the spoils in blaze of glory.
Where is their faith and trust in the
Mikado; where the endless obligation
they are under to us; where the decent,
manly, justice that marked them when
they were at war with the Russians
II the Jap is going to turn politician
we are done with him. He may 90 hang
for all we care; but for the sake of old
times, we will offer him one word of
counsel, in the homely terms OF the
famous old Texan, "Be sure you're right,
then 60 aheadl"
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-06-14
Administration Is the
Principle For Colonies.
~ unl,sa s,ate. senator a. 3 nrvnRlnen q lnal.n,

ny United states senator A. \. bEvERInSf OF Indiana
ADMINISTRATION is the principle upon which colonial
- policy should proceed FOR A CENTURY TO COME.
1 Wherever have departed from the idea Of admnistra
ton such have made which natural condi
tons viii gradually COMPEL lis 10 correct
Not sudden self government for peoples who have yet learned
the alphabet Of liberty not territorial independence for islands whose
ignorant suspicious and primitive inhabitants left themselves
WOULD PREY UPON ONE ANOTHER until they become the
inevitable spoil Of other powers anything but tho discharge OF
our great national trust and greater national duty wards by
COMMON SENSE METHODS win achieve the welfare Of our
colonies and bring the civilized work which
called and the management Of dependencies
PRACTICAL ADMINISTRATION Of government until
wards trained in CONTINUOUS industry and in orderly
liberty.
Nv THAT TIME THEY WILL ALSO HAVE ACQUIRED rH>r m.
SERVE AND srEADNEss WHICH ALONE
sELE GOVERNMENT POSSIBLE.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-06-14

freight via the O. R. & n, in comparison
with the mountain grade climb, in the
same direction, via the n. p. And the
big Portland daily made the most Of
the situation by amplifying it with a
sound and snappy first-page article tell,
ing OF the hoggishness of the Sound
cities in the matter Of east-bound lum-
Der hauls from their own, and Oregon,
territory.
We are quite curious to know If that
cunning cartoon, transposed, with a
western trend, from the grain fields Of
Idaho, Washington and Oregon, win be
displayed in the near future, in the same
paper, indicating to the same cities on
the Sound, the fallacy of trying to
compete, over those same mountain
ranges, with the water-leyel haul on
grain trains, via the P. & s. and the
A. & C. to sea coast, at Astoria! OF
course, the query is bit premature, but
we venture to file the suggestion now,
50 we may have something to recall at
such time as the reproduction would be
propitious, and does not appear amended
as we take the liberty Of insinuating il
might be.
Such development is so certain that
we may be pardoned the pleasant
thought, and really Bre'r' Murphy i
quite as much to blame as we are, il
blame there ID in so wholly pertinentan
idea!
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-06-14
Crime Is Rampant In New York
~ rissistrass CORNELL OF New York city

HAVE been eleven years the bench and am sure that
crime is more rampant NOW than at any other time
There such lot of mawkh sentiment IN the community
that criminal after being found guilty treated so eni
entity that PUNISHMENT HAS BECOME JOKE In crimes
Of considerable magnitude often difficult to have complaints
pressed when we have good cases against the prisoners
perfectly apparent any sitting magistrates court
where to know about any other walk of
life, that there regularly ORGANIZED BANDS OF PRO
FESSIONAL CRIMINALS in this city who are daily growing
boder It exaggeraon say that York Is now
ON BUSINESS BASIS This shown in tho ease and apidity
with which ckpoket wire ppe confidence thugs find
bail and lawyers defend them The growing alliance between crm
mails and certain lawyers has become open to know
WHAT COUNSEL different sorts of offenders will have appear for
them.
RAscALITX
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-06-14
o 00000000G00Cg3000 o
O EDITORIAL SALAD. o
00090000000000000 o

We must expect to hear of a mission
being mobbed once in while on account
Of the unsettled conditions Of that
country, but it should be no occasion
for frantic outburst Of wrath. China
can no more help it than our govern
ment can prevent occasional violence TO
some luckless foreigner here at the
hands Of roughs.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-06-14

The English didn't think Croker a
"proper person" to win their Derby. We
didn't think him a proper person to
run our politics, but he did And, more.
over, we would have given him bit to
eat if he needed it, but the King re-
fused him handout.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-06-14

It is little hard on Paterson, New
Jersey, that the assassins Of Governor
Steunenberg, Of Idaho should have se-
lected it as the place to write their
threatening letters from.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-06-14
Collie and DiarrhOsa.

Pains in the stomach, collie and diar.
rhoea are quickly relieved by the use
Of Chamberlain's Collie, Cholera and
Diarrhoea Remedy. For sale by Frank
Fart and Leading Druggists.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-06-14

Senator Knox, Of Pennsylvania, has
the honor Of being first announced by a
state as It's fayorite son and a man fit
to be President. That gallery will con-
tain lots Of statnary so labeled this
year.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-06-14

The young ladies of Mrs. Fcrguscn's
Sunday school class will hold their rose
carnival Saturday afternoon and even.
ing in the Methodist church. An admis-
sion fee Of 10 cents will be charged.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-06-14
Tonight.

If you would enjoy tomorrow take
Chamberlain's Stomach and Liver Tab.
lets tonight, clear the head and cleanse
the stomach. Price, 26 cents. Samples
free at Frank Hart and Leading Drug
Rists.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-06-14
WHAT OF THE GRAIN RoUTE7

Bre'r' Harry Murphy had smashing
good cartoon in yesterdays Oregcnian,
the keen point Of which was directed to
our Puget Sound friends, anent the
water.leyel haul on east bound raiIroad
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-06-14

Market fancies: The general atti-
tude Of the young man with an unworn
but lovely spring suit at home in his
wardrobe is conservative.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-06-14

The japanese @Progressiyes" differ
little from the outs in any other coun.
try. They are always asking fool ques-
tions of the government.