Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1907-03-29
Thing. Not wanted at comuo.

Mr.. Editor We are in need Of very
many things at Comus, but there are some
things we would not have, even il the cost
were nothing-things that usually com.
mand high prices Thus, astronomers en-
terrain us with descriptions OF the sun spots j;
that truly is high in altitude, if not in price.
They tell US that the spots on the sun
cause this cold, chilling, biting March air {;
that the spots are immense pieces of matter
thrown off some exploding planet, and, at
tracted TO the sun, give the bright old lumi
nary dirty morning face, and us poor NOR
tails frozen habtation. They even go SO
far as to declare that the said spots will some
day, shortly, cause a universal lombard
ment of the solar system, including this lit
tie football of ours.
Such statements unsettle all people except
confirmed suicides. 1t is an obstacle and a
set. back to business, and has exploded more
than one mental grenade that would other
wise have remained charm to the COM
munity in which she lived and dutiful
parent to hopeful offspring.
|
failed in his tour to the North Pole, offered
his services to the last Congress to make a
flying machine visit to the sun, in order to
wash his dirty face. He was offered several
millions for the completed job. but the flyer
wanted advanced payment. IT would have
been paid bnt few stingy Democrats talk
ed it to death on Sunday, and don't think
these men committed great sin in not at
tending preaching that Sunday.
Our last Congress appropriated money for
the digging of good many bitches and
some of them will prove as difficult as trips
TO the sun and the North Pole. Most OF US
have projects in which we are interested
even if we do not rake 10 a million or two
as reward for our support; so the writer
was in great hopes that our kind hearted
Congress would appropriate means for the
widening and deepening of the Mars canal.
Those who have had intercourse with the
people of our fiery brother, say that they
are at least as industrious and pushing as
any of our people who have settled in
| Panama; but they have built great many
postoffices and gunboats lately and are very
poor and are quite unable to undertake the
improvement OF their canals.
do hope and trust that our kind hearted
sisters and brothers, who know 80 well what
poverty is, will get up a heart-touching Pc
tition to be presented to our next Congress,
asking for an appropriation for the aid OF
the impoverished people of Mars.
A man out West has invented machine
that don't want TO have tried in Comua
1t Is a machine to tell when earthquakes are
coming. Ii there is an earthquake or any
other catastrophe coming, don't want to
know it.. This old world has been rolling
around good many years, and l don't
think there has ever lived one learned
enough to notice any change in its move
ments. There are no spots on the sun that
are going to affect this terrestrial ball, and 1t
is the private opinion of the writer that the
spots were merely microbes on the object
glass of the astronomers telescope.
trust, Mr.. Editor, that the Sentinel will
discourage those statements about the sun
and the earthquakes. Business Is dull
enough at Comus at its best, and we don't
want the brains of our people put out OF
balance any more than we want to see the
earth unbalanced.
Comns, March 10, 1907. L.