The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1907-04-06

pressive exhibitions ever given in the
history of the State.-Baltim0re
4AWe11can.
THE MAKING OF a SUCCESSFUL HUSBAND.
BY CASPER S. YosT.
My dear John-Do you remember
Colonel Hosea Perkins, who used to
live just around the corner from US
on William street! Of course you
do. Nobody could forget that state
ly figure and that ceremonious bow
with which he punctuated every
greeting. Old Perkins is dead now,
but I'll bet horse that he's dofflng
his crown every two minutes-that
is, if Le's gone to place where
crowns are supposed to be necessary
article of wearing apparel. He was
the most painfully polite man 1 ever
saw. His genufections and "beg
pardons" used to get on my nerves
until 1 could hardly refrain from
protest. He wouldn't wear his hat
in the presence of ladies, and I've
seen him standing on street corner
bareheaded in the broiling sun for an
hour at time while he talked with
female acquaintance.
I am reminded of Perkins by some
actions of yours that noticed while
you and Anna May were visiting us
last week. That old hypocrite was
the embodiment of exaggerated cour-
tesy to every one he met, with the
single exception of his wife. Unless
he had company he would drop his
manners on his front porch and on
the other side of his threshold become
the most disagreeable reprobate that
ever wore long suffering woman to
the grave.
don't mean to intimate, my boy,
that there is any resemblance be-
tween you and old Perkins, but I
saw when you were here that you
were already beginning to follow the
general tendency of persons who wear
trousers and forgetting at home some
of the amenities you would never
overlook outside. It's so easy to do.
We are all naturally savages, prone
to drop the social graces whenever we
think nobody's looking and our fam
lilies are supposed to kindly shut their
eyes. Yet the little ceremonies and
verbal expressions which constitute
our everyday code of etiquette were de-
signed for the sole purpose of smooth
ing the rough edges of Our intercourse
with the world, the flesh and the
devil and keep us from flying at one
another's throat, as we would like so
much to do.
Next to the Christian religion po-
liteness is the most potent force in
the world today, and it is just as eff
fective in ones own home as it is in
the house across the street. Now,
without any more beating around the
bush, 1 want to say few things to
you on this subject, and I want to
put 'em to you straight. When you
have read this letter once, read 1t
over again and get it stuck into your
head so it wont slip loose.
1 wasn't around when you were
"settin' up" to Anna May, but I'll
bet pile of good hard dollars that
you were almighty particular how
you acted when you were in her pres
ence. There was nothing in the
shape of courtesy that was any too
fine for her when you came a-wooing.
You had all your graces and some
you had borrowed, I have no doubt,
out for her inspection. You had old
Chesterfield beaten so bad you could
see daylight between you. I wasn't
there, but I know. That little girl
you were exceedingly careful about
then is your wife now, but in the
change she has lost none of her
rights. She is just as much entitled
to the observance of the forms of
courtesy as before-more than then,
for as your wife she should hold a
higher and more honored place in
your life than as your sweetheart.
Yet I noticed last week that you did
not lift your hat when you met her
downtown. / noticed that you al
lowed her to pick her own way along
the street, to step UP to the curbstone
without any effort of assistance from
you. I noticed when we dined at
the hotel that you left her to group
through the mysteries of the menu
unaided, while you contemplated the
most desirable dishes for the satisfac-
ton of your own precious stomach.
The old man isn't asleep, my son, If
he does nod occasionally after his
meals, and when I saw these little
signs of ingrowing sel6shness it wor-
ried me. Reminds me of colt my
father used to own down on the old
farm. 1t was a frisky critter, as all
colts are, but father was very proud
of 1t and delighted in showing 1t to
visitors. As rule, when he wanted
to exhibit the colt it was in the pas
ture, and one of the most vivid recol-
lections of my boyhood days is that
dignifed old gentleman chasing that
dern fool colt over ten acre field.
He would trot along and appeal to
the colt in tones of strained honey.
He would pretend to offer regular
cornucopia of things that horses are
supposed to sigh for. The colt would
coyiy wait until he was almost with
in reach then, with sniff of dis
dain, it would raise its tail straight
up in the air and gallop to the other
side of the pasture. Finally the little
beast would allow itself to be caught,
lust like woman, and once he had
his hands on him the old gentleman
would let loose a food of unprofane
cuss words that would shuck the
corn in the barn. "Contaminate
your measly hide" he would shout,
''I feel like breaking every bone In
your onregenerate carcass !" But he
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