The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-12-01

the little boy. you see. it's this
way. Johnnie Smith and Billie
Brown and me. we're goln to play at
railway accident. The perambulator
Is to be the train, and baby's to be
passenger, who's pitched out on his
head. and he's to be saved from
being run over by another train just
in time
Two hours later the little boy was
released from the dark closet.-Pen.
ny Pictorial.
II
The walter al a recent banquet
held in the north was looking so
melancholy that the last OF the
guests. one to whom the waiter had
been very attentive, could not help
inquirlng the reason for his slghs.
What is the matter. my man."
he asked, sympathetically. Haven't
YOU had enough tips tonight?"
"Tips!" replied the attendant. why,
not one OF them. including yourself.
has given me a tip. and. what's
more. some one has taken the shil.
ling ! put on the tray myself as
a dccoy l"-Argonaut
There Is in Brooklyn young re.
,.sha
been having the usual halfpathetic
and wholly amusing experiences in.
cident to somewhat limited means
and total inexperience. Last Sat.
urday there was a hitch In the de-
livery of the marketing, and Sunday
found them with practically empty
larder. When dinner time came the
young wife burst into tears.
ooh. this is horrible" she wept
Not a thing in the house fit for a
dog to eat. | am going home to
mammal"
"If you don't mind. dear" the
husband. exclaimed. as he visibly
frightened and reached for his hat.
"Tll 20 with you,"-Holland's Mag.
azine.
An old darkey who has not been in
church for long time appeared
one night at prayer meeting. His
presence at the meeting was COM
mcnted on by one of his brethren
of the church. The conversation be-
tween the two was something like
this:
Say, Brohtre Johnson, | amt saw
YOU heah at de meeting house for a
considerable duration"
OATS So" replied Brother John.
son Use been very busy
Well, how came you heah tonight,
Brother Johnson"
Well, you see, its like dis, Broth.
er Jackson. Is repairin' a chicken
coop for some white gentlemens, ana
Use got a situwations putting a
fence round watermelon patch for
another gentlemaas. and / needs spe-
cial guidance from temptation. -
Washington Post
/ #
They were cross-eXamining, in a
Chicago court recently, a bookmaker
who had been caught in the tolls for
playing some other game than his
own, says the Saturday Evening
Post The third subassistant district
attorney was intent upon convic-
ton, however, and was doing his
best. none too successfully to shake
the testimony of the defendant.
You're sure OF that" he yelled.
as the bookmaker stuck to an as.
scrtion that did not suit the case
/ OF the state.
Sure, ! am certain. came the sn.
swcr.
You remember that you're under
OATH"
II do that"
And you'd swear 10 this state
meut of yours"
! swear 10 it? Why. Mr. Lawyer.
AMI judge, your hunor, Id bet a
hundred on it, any day."
\ Christian Scientist of Boston was
praising the late Earl of Dunmore
Lord Dunmore." he said. was a
good Christian Scientist and n good
man. Tall and robust and supple. |
can see him still with his short gray
beard and his kind faca His only
iault-a fault due to his aristocrat,c
uphringlns, no doubt-was IN. oxag.
grrated value he set on corr, rtneys.
tie Insisted on correctness In eating,