davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-15
Endowina Two Chaira

The college president who figures in
the following incident doubtless suffer
ed II cruel shock at first. but when he
found that his benefactor wns acting
in good faith and was thoroughly In
earnest amusement over the situation
must have made some light amends for
his Disappointment:
He WAS on II trip to secure m cndow.
ment for his institution when he re-
celved this letter from Lone Tree;
President can YOU preach at Lone Tree
church next Sunday and then 70 homs
with me To dinner Mother and me wants
to endow two chairs In your college.
Very truly JONAS SMITH.
He joyfuliy accepted the situation
after discovering that Jonas Smith was
a very wealthy farmer. to whom the
endowment Of two chairs would work
no hardship. After the dinner which
followed the sermon the conversation
came to the important subject In hand,
and the farmer said Now, know
you can buy II good. strong. stout ehnir
for 30 cents. but we want to do more
than that for the college, and mother
and me have decided that we are Will
Ing to give rs cents each to endow two
chairs, one for mother and one for
me"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-15
A TORNADO.
Tho Spiral That Connects the Earth
With the Clouds.


While In Kansas few years ago |
had very clear View of tornado. II
WAS about ten miles distant, passing
swiftly ever the prairie. II presented
the appearance of long rope about
two feet In diameter 1t extended
from dark, irregularly shaped cloud
10 the earth and WIS slightly curved
1t was of nearly uniform thickness
and leaned about thirty i've degrees
from Il perpendicular toward the cloud.
A line drawn from where stood to
the cloud would have made an angle OF
about forty degrees with the cnrth's
surface. After this ropeltke projection
had parted | noticed In the Irregular
cloud n perfectly shipped spiral of sill
yer Wilderness. II was shaped like Il
great hugcr aud extended from the
point where the funnel or rope had
been connected with the cloud forward
In the direction the cloud was moving.
All around II was In wild comlnotion,
but the spiral Itself seemed to stand
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-15
Duel Auertnd.


Carducci the great Italian poet, came
near having Il duel one day He DOS
sessed fine spirit of contradiction and
had the characteristics of fighter.
Once while travelling In Lombardy he
was in II railway compartment with an
army officer, who did not recognize
him. Conversation turned upon the
latest literary productions. They spoke
of poem by the author of ."Odes Bar
bares," which had just appeared
This Carducci," exclaimed the off
Ger, with enthusiasm, "is superb gen.
ius, the greatest since Dante the equal
Of Dante himself"
"Humph." said the other "A gen
ius? That's too much to say find
him mediocre"
Mediocre, sir? You don't know any
thing about 1t"
"Oh. you are incapable of Judging"
~"
"Youi"
SIR
"Slrr
The officer handed his card to his dis
putnnt The other smiled There's
mine" And ON II was the name Clio
sue Carducci, professor at the Unlver-
sty of Bologna"
The officer, removing his hat. polite
ly bowed lie Cri de Paris.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-15

lovers quarrel. No Burt called at the
Halliday farmhouse to make up. The
days passed, and poor Eunice went
about with tears In her eyes. Even
her father noticed that the daughter
was looking red eyed and pale faced
and asked the wife If doctor had not
better he consulted
Don't you worry, Joseph" was all
the reply he got. and about all he ex-
pected, but to the daughter the mother
said:
"Eunice. when the spelling school
comes off | am going to bring that
Young man TO the mark lie Is one of
the best spoilers around here, isn't hef'
''NeS, ma"
well. SO are You. Some folks say
You are better than he Is. If YOU are
ON one side and lie cf the other. you
are going To beat him
but suppose can't"
I'm Just going to pray that you
will,
Then he'll be madden yet. Maybe
he'll 20 right home and commit sui
eide"
And maybe he'll go right home and
get some sense In his head I'm run
ming this show, and | want you To do
just as tell you"
There was the usual big turnout
when the evening came. Tile sewing
machine agent had departed for other
fields and Eunlce arrived Mt the school
house In the company of her father
and mother Almost Immediately she
heard that Burt Seymour had come
alone with his horse and buggy. She
also heard that their misunderstanding
was being gosslped about. The school
master was we'll known to the Hall
days and few whispered words from
Mrs. Halliday perfected her plans. 1t
was announced that Mr.. Burt Sey-
mour and Miss Eunce Halliday would
choose sides, and they found them
selves nj once the center of interest
Each sought 10 decline, but each was
pushed forward. Each line when fill
ed numbered eighty. aud then the
spelling began. The first five minutes
did the business for twenty
In n quarter of an hour there were
only ten spoilers on their feet. Five
minutes later Eunice and Burt alone
Were left. They stood facing each 9th
er, though not looking into each others
eyes. Burt looked obstinate and the
girl had her chin in the air 1t was
called the greatest contest of the dec
ade. For twenty minutes the teacher
hunted out the hard words, but could
trap neither. Then Burt was caught
and went down, and the victory was
awarded the girl amid cheers Five
minutes later the crowd broke up, and
Eunlee WAS hunting for her wraps
when hand was laid on her arm and
voice whispered:
"Euny how do you spell idiot for
give and 1oveY"
''Thc simplest way" she replied as
she turned 10 Burt
Then ride home with me. | brough,
my buggy on purpose"
"Of course II worked" said Mrs.
Halliday that night 10 herself after
making II cackling noise In her throat
| "lf II Ind been left TO Eunice now
but il wasn't. When II smart Young
man thinks he's smarter than an old
married woman It's time he was spell.
ed down II few and made to take a
back seat
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-15
A MYSTERY OF THE SEA.
The Puzzlins Beeswax of the Beaches
of OREGON.


or all the secrets held by the uotsam
and jctsam OF many Years none Is
stranger than that of the hecswaX of
the Oregon beaches Long before the
white man came to the great north
west by ship or pflifie schooner yes.
sells from the orient bud skirted the
coast Bits of Wrc1&a@s have told the
story Of Chinese junk gAne 10 pieces
on the shore. but the most curious evil
dence of this eastern traffic has been
found on the Oregon coast south of
ihc Columbia river Mr.. Clarke gives
sn account of this treasure trovc in his
Pioneer Days"
When Lewis and Clark made their
famous expedition they learned that
the native Indians of Oregon had for
many years found Jumps Of beeswax
on the sandy shores
Beeswax Is practically mdestructible
In water but these pieces had pounded
In the surf until they were black and
battered almost beyond recognition.
In lSii one Henry. engaged In the
fur trade, wrote nm account of finding
masses of this WAN The pieces were
scattered over n wide stretch of coast
and were now covered, now uncovered,
by the blowing sand. Some of the
Jumps We're softened into all shapes
and sizes by the heat of the sun and
bleaehed nearly white Others were
square and stamped with strange char
ncters.
In 1879 II Mr. Howell. walking on the
beach, SAW something exposed In the
sand. II proved to be the corner of
some lhrge squares of heeswax weigh
Ing several tons. Many smaller blocks
We're also found. all bearing the stamp
Ell letters II IL s" Besides the squares
of WAN. quantities of large candles
Were discovered. In looking up the
matter II WIS learned that ns far back
ms records ran these tapers had been
found with the wax on ~, shore
or course the explanation may be
that some oriental ship bearing church
supplies for mission farther south
went In pieces on the Oregon coast
many. NAVY years ago, but what
would II slip bound for Mexico or
South Amer,cn he doing so far north,
and what Use could any mission have
Tor such an enormous quantity Of WAX?
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-15
LITERARY IMPOSTORS.
Many Clever Writers Who Have De-
ceived the World

Many Clever Writers Who Have De-
oe,ved the World.
Clever literary impostors who have
deceived the world are numerous
Cam. Ill earrcri. Nenpoltnn gentle
man and scholar, while confined To his
room FOR long period of years by Ill
ness amused himself by writing an ac-
count of an imaginary voyage round
the world. When the volume was pub
ilshed, il WIS taken MS fact even by
learned people
The detailed account Of trip to
China which Is credited To Du Halde
Is another literary hoax. The author
had never seen China and had been
sufficiently clever to compile the work
solely from the memoirs Of Chinese
missionaries
II Is relndrka ole. though no less a
fact. that "Guliyer's Travels" was
thought 10 be n true narrative when It
first appeared and the famous story of
Dambcrger's travels was likewise n
hoax
Narllas, the French historian. enjoy
events. but later II was discovered that
his works We're purely fakes. The vol
umcS Of this writer resemble those of
Gregorlo Reti. who, In order To keep
himself from starving, appended the
most unheard of Incidents to English
history MS II was known
One of the most daring impostures
on record Is that Of Joseph Vella of
Sicily. He said that he discovered sew
enteen of the lost books Of Livy IN
Arabic He then set to work and
wrote translation from his fancy,
which was printed After his death
the fraud was discovered Before his
death, however, he fell under suspf
cion and was condemned to imprison
ment
There are countless cases of authors
selling their names TO be put on works
they have never read Sir John Hill
once contracted to translate n Dutch
book. After the agreement he remem
bered that he did not know word OF
Dutch He then bargained with an
other translator to do the work for
half the price he was IA receive.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-15
Auxhand's Costly Lunch.

A Woodbury. man who had been en-
joying himself greatly felt hungry
when he got home about O'Clock In
the morning.
"Where did you put the cold cab
bage. dearest!' he called upstairs to
his wife. who had cOughed loudly 10
let him know 1t was useless to tlke off
his shoes.
"On the second shelf I'm the pantry"
she answered harshly.
He found the cabbage and the oil,
vinegar. sait and pepper. cut up the
cabbage. dressed 1t to his taste and ate
II with appetite
George. Why didn't you eat the eah-
bage last night" asked his wife when
he appeared rather shaky. for break
fast.
~ did; 1t was fine" said George; 80
thoughtful OF you to keep II. dearest
why, it's on the pantry shelf" she
cried
Filled with apprehension. Mrs
George searched the second shelf hur.
iiedly, There she had left four Yards
OF lace, worth $50, In bowl Of starch
The lace was gone Boston Herald
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-15
Heirs Of the Air.

The owls, solemn birds, strongly I'M
bued with the obligations of the mar
ried state, mostly begin to sit as soon
as the first egg appears. so that the
eggs, having fair field and no favor,
hatch out In precisely the same order
as that In which they are laid. With
the majority OF smaller birds another
habit prevails. for these do not com
mence to sit In earnest until the full
CLUTCH perhaps Il dozen In number. Is
complete. This obviously means that
the earlier eggs IN the nest have had
time to grow cold and npust be warmed
up again As II result. the eggs are
Matched out In the inverse order of lay
Ing II Is good thing that bird life
Is devoid of litigation, otherwise what
terrible arguments this difference be-
tween first laid and first Matched rlight
lead to.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-15
A Stamp Menauerie.

A very complete menagerle may be
formed from II collection of postage
stamps having animals. birds and fish
as the central figures The animals
represented are lion. tiger, elephant
giraffe. jagdar. camel. hippopotumus
buffalo bear. leopard, dog. kangaroo.
dear, horse, COW. llama. goat, monkey
donkey. beaver, duckbill, seal, sable
gorilla. cobra crocodile, tortoise. The
fowl family Is represented by the pea
cock, owl heron. englc. parrot, turkey.
snlpe, swan, goose. quail, dove, hllia=
bird. emu. pheasant, Tyre bird. aPteryx
torea. OF fish there ARE but two the cod
and carp The insect kingdom has one
representative IN the butterfly, nesting
In the couture Of former Queen I.lliuo
kalani - Frank j Stllman In st. Nlch
olas
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-15
tlrapttG

II was on the evening of March -,
1881, TINT William IIcrsehel. at Slough,
England, discovered new planet
Wishing to pay compliment 10 George
Ill, his patron, he gave 1t the name OF
GeOrgium sidus, or the Georgian star.
Other English astronomers, wishing to
compliment the dscoverer himself,
suggested the name Of IIerschel Con.
tlDental astronomers proposed that the
old NEUROLOGICAL system be followed.
and the name of ranlis was accepted
by the scientific world as the designa-
ton of the seventh planet.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-15
You love him, don; your, he de

You love him, don: your. he de-
handed
I'VE are 10 be married when he getS
his raise she explained.
Beeeham looked from her TO his lit
tie girl. Even in that moment Ruth
regarded him curiously, for many
things We're to be read In his changing
expression Then he stretched forth
his hand
Give me that list, Doc" he demand
ed, stretching out his hand for the
memorandum the other had prepared.
He darted from the house and ran rap
idly toward the head OF the valley.
An hour later. with torn clothes aud
dirt begrimea hands, he WIS back
again. With the proper dressings Cal
man WAS sGon made easy, and they
turned 10 look for Bcecham. He and
the little girl We're gone.
1t was a week before he came asain
and Calman was able to see him.
I'm going away he announced Il
told you that I'd pay back what Miss
Glare did Tor my little girl. ana did.
Now I'll tell you how | did 1t. You
were right about that ore. But l was
In the Golden Crown. just rs the Judge
said was
THE Lucky Hole backs up on that
abandoned shaft / We blasted through
one day. don't think you realize
how deep shaft runs In. We fixed up
Il curtain covered with quartz In case
any one came In, aud we used To take
your ore through our tunnel. That's
how | could prove an alibt. l cut of
the big trip to the pass and up the
other side.
I've made deed for the Lucky
Hole 10 your girl. It's TO be her wed
ding present from my little girl She
had way the kid liked and | want
her To have the mine. You can FIX the
tunnel up So us 10 take your ore wag
ons through and cut off the long haul.
That'l be worth something II the
mine Itself amt. VIII you shake
hands. Calthan? | know I'm an ore
thief aud all that, hut I'm going to
make II fesh break for the kids sake
VIII you ShakrT'
Calman stripped the hand.
why not stay here and work 1t
OUT" he asked.
Beecham shook his head.
II want to get away where they
cant tell the Kid about me" lie ex-
planned, Eve got IL make II brand
new stnrt 1t viii help some if
know that you two are happy and
married 1t Will be the first start of
the new try.
He turned 10 Ruth, but did not offer
his hand
The kid wanted You 10 have thai,
he said. Offering n tintype. shes got
YOU 10 thank for this When | saw
her III Your arms | realized that there
were good women In the world and
the Lid has n right 10 know en-
He turned abruptly and left the
house. Ruth watched him turn into
shaft I for the last time: then she came
to talman's side but there were tears
IN her eyes for Beecham. who had
made IT possible that she should nj
ways be beside her lover.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-15
And Then He Ran.

did any man eyer tell YOU" asked
Mr. Henpeck as he edged toward the
door, that you were the sweetest and
most beautiful woman In the world :"
NO" replied his wife.
Gee. Men are honcster than |
thought they were Chicago Record
Herald.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-15
A PRINCE OF DWARFS.
Career of the Famous Count Joseph
Boruwiaski.

SdFhcF OF tNe Y aTnOuS count Joseph
Boruwiaski.
The most famous dwarf who has
tlouriShed IN the British isles Is I'M
doubleday Count Joseph BoruWlaski,
whose long life lie died AT the age of
ninety eight Years Is another example
of the longevity of his kind Boruw
i'll height. This did not prevent him
from marry Ing n beautiful woman or
from mixing in the best court society
of the Georgian period. He MAS very
amiably received ut Carlton House 10y
George ". II few weeks before that
nonarch's coronation. So struck Was
the king by this dwarf physical grace
and mental accomplishments that he
remarked to Charles Mathews, who
had brought the little man. III ! had
dozen SONS could not wish them II
morc perfect model of elegance than
the count"
oruwluskfs last days were spent III
peaceful retirement In the city of bur
ham. He tells MS that in spite of the
theory that dwarfs grow all their life
he never added Il quarter of an inch
to his three feet three inches. When II
lady asked him for his autograph. he
sent these lines:
Poland was my cradle
England Is my nest,
Durham IL my quiet place
Where my weary bones shall rest.
He had known Marie Autoineite as II
child, and he was living when Queen
Victoria was crowned 1t Is In the
Church of st Mary the Less ut Dur
ham, close To the cathedral, in which
his body lies. that you read the follow
ing inscription;
Near this spot repose the remains
Of Count Joseph Boruwlaski. Il native
Of Pokucia. IN the late kingdom of Pc
lind. This extraordinary man meas
urcd no more than three feet three
inches In height, but his form was well
proportione6. and he possessed II more
than common share of understanding
and knowledge After various changes
OF fortune, borne with cheerful rcsig
nation ia the viii of God he closed his
life In the vicinity of the cathedral on
Sept 3, 1897. IN the ninety eighth year
OF his age 7 q. of London.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-15
Mo Need IN Ialk

"Does the baby talk yeti" asked II
friend Of the family.
"No," replied the baby's disguised
little brother; the baby doesn't need
to talk"
"Donsnt need to talkf'
mo All the baby has TO do IL to
the house that's worth haylug"-Tit.
Bits
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-15
Willinn 70 inln.

Willie was an only child, whose par
ents lived on Il farm. He often grew
very lonely and longed for playmate.
One day he nsked his mamma why she
didn't get him II little brother Mother
replied. Willie, babies are too much
trouble to tend" Say, mamma, If
you'll plant him. I'll hoe him Lppln-
colts
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-15
Cause For Celebration.

Mrs De Style met Mrs. Sehopper
ut bargain sale today; said she was
celebrating her silver anniversary.
Mrs. Gunbusta-Is she married TWEEN
ty-fyc years? Mrs. De Style-No. but
her husband gave her S25 New York
Press
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-15
A ContraRt.

That was n vivid and popular bit Of
description IN which the vaudeville per
cial nj the front entrance Of the thea
ter as the eight -dollar-a- week man al
the door who wears a thousand dol.
lars worth Of gold buttons"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-15
All Sad.

He 1t always makes me feel sad
when | play the piano. She All. In
sympathy with your audience sup
pose Philadelphia Inquirer
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-15

PARTIAL CONTENTS FOR THIS MONTH
Course in English for the Beginner.
Course in English for the Advanced
Pupil.
How to Increase Ones Vocabulary.
The Art of Conversation.
Should and Would: How to use Them.
Pronunciations Century Dictionary.
Correct English in the Home.
Correct English in the School.
What to Say and What Not to Say.
Course in Letter-Writing and Punctu-
alton.
Alphabetic list of Authorizations.
Business English for the Business Man.
Compound Words; How to Write
Them.
Studies in English Literature.
81 A YEAR. SIND 10 CTS. FOR SAMPLE COPY
Correct English, Evanston, I'll.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-15
Not Frank.

She--Re frank with me- He-I cant.
Ny name Is James. Harvard Lam.
pooh.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-15

Presumption Is our natural and orig
nal disease. Montaigne.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-15
Not Living.

"ITello. links. | hear you are living
In Il boarding house"
"You heard wrong. I'm boarding In
a boarding house. Washington Her
aid.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1907-05-15

1t IL maxim with me that no man
was ever written out Of a reputation
but by himself Bentley.
Evening journal., 1907-03-07
Jerome Asks Few ouestions

~~fNhfN FhNFN- Wv AAlNAiUUo
The usual fifteen minutes recess was
taken, after which Mr.. Delmas announced
that the examination OF Mrs. Thaw was
concluded. Mr.. Jerome at once began his
cross-examination. He asked Mrs. Thaw
If she was not for a time after her hus-
bands death a trustee under his will
This is not proper REORGANIZATION %
Mr.. Delmas objected. "Thls matter was
not gone into. and I can hardly conceive
that it is the purpose Of the learned Dis
trict Attorney to attempt to discredlt the
witness"
Il would like TO show" said Mr.. Jerome.
in reply, that this defendants income
was at one time after his fathers dea.h
increased"
Mr.. Delmas said that he would not press
his objection if the District Attorney
wanted to show that the increase took
place subsequent to June 1908. when Thaw
was first declared insane.
Mr.. Jerome turned to the witness and
asked
O. Was this defendants income fixed at
a stated sum in his fathers will? A. Yes.
Q. Was it subsequently increased by
your A. NO. not in the way
Mr.. Delmas interrupted to insist upon
his objection. Justice Fitzgerald said he
would sustain the objection as to any oc-
currence before June. 1908.
Mr.. jerome was profoundly respectful
in his attitude toward the defendants
mother as he continued his cross-examina.
ton. He asked II she would state what
her sons income was subsequent to June
1908
Il am not able to say exactly. It was
certainly notw hat the newspapers have
said"
Q. Was the income from his fathers
estate? A. II was from his own estate in
herited from his father
Mrs. Thaw said she could not give any