davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10
MERELY JOKING.

In Mitigation.
"You are charged with having registered
'''s awsii. your honor. responded IN. pr,.-
SO hard to beat you that I Just got despcr-
atc"-Philadelpha Ledger.
Heart Interest.
| son, lacks heart INTEREST,"
"It does. EN-" answered the star; you
just ought to see the way the manager is
taking tho box office receipts to heart
Washington Star.
AIns! Too True.
After all said the op,im!,t "our
OF us seem to think them to be-
none of them will ever turn out TO be as
ought to be."-Tho Catholic standard and
Times.
A NiolIycoddlo.
Bili7"
NAV, He wouldn'. make good pirate
he's a sissy
sure. lie paid TO 81. into the football
A Pushing Line.
A party of travelling men in Chicago
-hotel were one day boastins nj tho business
demo by their respective firms, when one Of
the drummers said:
mo house In the country. am proud to
say. has moro men and women pushing it's
line OF goods than mine"
What do you sel7" he was asked.
''Baby carriages!" shouted the drummer.
as he fled from the room.-success Maya
zinc
Common Factors.
Schoolmaster; "Sow, can any Of you tell
mo whether there Ia connecting Ink be.
tween the animal and yenetable kingdom ~
Small Boy: Yes. sir. please--thero's
hashH-IoHdon Opinion.
Plan to Shut Up.
She: doctor said muHt keep my mouth
shu: when in the cold air"
He: 'I'll open the window Immediately
London Tit-Bits.
Innocent Childhood.
Little william: "siy father has charge
Of over twenty men"
Little Jimmy: "Huh. that's nothing! My
| father has charge over your father -
Little william: well, my father makes
more money than your father. He DOESN'T
own the shop.'-From the November Boz
hcmian.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10
VirElnin bright Tobacco AssOclnt ton.
tlditor OF Tho Tiihes.Dlspatch:

NhRiubU bTbMnI IOUuCCO A9HOCluVIOns
Editor OF Tho rifles-Dlspatch:
Str.--Your report OF Western tobnc-
co growers success and your promise
Of aaid to Virginia and North Carolina
farmers IL very encouraging, and, In
behalf of Bright Tobacco Association,
! want to thank you for the article.
Certainly tobacco growers have just
cause for complaint. They have tbs
power TO CORRECT these evils within the
lines of Justice and fair dealing, and
we Will not resort to any other means.
Our association is rapidly gaining the
confidence OF our best farmers and
business men. We hava perfected ar
ranGements by which the FARMERS can
pool as much of present crop as they
wish. and VIC believe the farmers,
knowing the SUCCESS OF Western to-
bacco growers, will take advantage OF
these business methods and protect
their interest. which they cannot pos
slbly do at auction sales, with Drac-
ticHlly one bidder. We should not boz
come less active in our efforts on ae-
count OF small increase in prices for
past two years. from the fact that
everything farmers have to buy has
advanced more than tobacco. The In
crease In consumption, as shown IN
your weekly edition, and inability OF
farmers to WATERWAY increase produce
ton. gives us control OF tile situation,
IL we will by cooperation adopt buei.
ness methods OF selling our product.
Very truly,
Interstate President.
Redoak, Va. November 4. 1907.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10

At Chicago flower show. the Mrs.
Marshall Field rose valued at $4,000,
won first prize over the Mrs. Potter
Palmer rose and the Alice Roosevelt
rose. The Nine, Anna Gould rosette APP
pears to have been nowhere.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10

One of the most significant incidents
OF the election in Cleveland was that
as soon as Mayor Johnson's triumph
was announced the stock of the Clcye-
land Electric Railway Company drop
ped from Al to 80
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10

However. that pekin paper which
failed after $50 years OF existence did
not go under because there weren't
enough people willing to tellNthe edi-
ter. IN pointed Chinese. how he ought
to run IT.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10

Some time ago Chancellor L. Benja-
min Andrews, Of the University Of Me-
braska, said that newspapers which de-
nounced rich men should DO hung.
Now comes Mr.. Joseph II. Drake. pro-
lessor of law In the University
of Michigan, with the statement.
madc to his law class that the people
of this country should elect Mr.. Roose-
welt king. The Students at first be-
lieved It was merry sample of pro-
fessorial humor and began to laugh.
whereupon Professor Drake reiterated
the statement, and said he had made
the kingly nomination with all seri-
business and sincerity. III view of
these and other revolutionary emana-
lions from distinguished professors, is
it not time for the people to invests
gate THAR institutions OF learning and
ascertain what sort of doctrine the
professors are preaching? 1t may be
said that the saying Of Professor Drake
is not to be taken seriously. In a
public address, certainly not but is
1t not a serious matter for teacher
to instruct class OF young Americans
that we should elect a king to rule
over us? Is such man fit to instruct
American youth?
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10

Be easy on Kentucky for awhile. sh
has not yet had time to get her Re
publican clothes on straight.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10

However 1t would not be safe to
turn on the light in the Roosevelt
way unless Old Reliable Pompadour
were on hand to manipulate the ire
engine.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10

American football has been taken
up by tho Russian college students,
evidently with tho cunning design OF
picking off the grand dukes in their
youth.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10

Captain Richmond P. Hobson remains
so sipsularly silent that 1t Is hard to
escape the conclusion that he IL busy
oiling up his bellows for the grand
opening Of Cong
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10

Cleveland. o.. had better look out
II she pushes her Independence too far,
MIR. Roosevelt may never give her any
advice again.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10

A Paristnn scientist has just perfect
ed camera which will take colored
photographs. His ystem Will undoubt-
eddy make a great hit among the col
Lored beauties of jackson Ward.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10

The Mrs. Marshall Field rose. seems
to call loudly for Mrs. Marshall Mel
one.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10
HOW TO CALL MEs-plsPATcH

HOW TO CALL T1MEs-DtsPATCtA
Persons wishing TO communicate with The
Times. Dispatch by telephone will ask cen.
teal for "4o4l,. and on being answered f-'m
the office switchboard, will Indicate the az
pa-tment or person with whom they wish
10 speak.
when calling between A. N. and !.
A. NJ. call to central office direct for 4o4i'
composing room; 4o42, business office; Aoss'
f,r mailing and press-rooms.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10

The Taft Boom will come. home II
a stout casket. securely lidded.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10

A New York court has ruled that
1t Is Illegal for wife to throw dishes
at her husband. Down in Texas they
are holly asking each other what the
fool Judge thinks dishes are for. any
way
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10

Editor Graves made Georgia dry. and
Hearst forthwith summoned him to a
$4,000 berth In nice wet town.
Editor Rhodes made Birmingham dry,
and not welcome beckon has reach
I'D him from the dank zone. You never
can tell
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10
On the Anxious Dcncl.

''You seem verytnervous and restless
this morning" said the senior partner,
Yes replied Mnrkley, the Junior
.partner; ''you see, ! asked Borroughs
to drop In to-day and pay me what he
owes me-"
"And you're afraid he won't come.
eh?'
"I'm afraid he will come and borrow
nlore"-The Catholic Standard and
Times
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10
POEMS YOU OUGHT TO KNOW

hours
for
your poeProf Charles Eliot
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10

In Lifetime.
When Ethel's little teeth burst forth
In cunning. baby rows.
They looked, so Ma and Pa declared.
Like lines OF pearly
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10

Sell thermometers short. They are
going down.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10

Some say that the biggest failur
we have yet had was the panic.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10

The Atlanta Georgian of November
7th REQUESTS that the audience at the
Grand Opera House that night should
give Miss Maude Adams a Chautuuqua
wave. This, in tho raper that gave a
whole State Il prohibition wave. clear
ly proves Its editor entitled to the
championship waYer-belt Of tho South,
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10

She grew to be beauteous maid,
And young men would enthuse
About her wond'rous matchlsss teeth
An even line of III,
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10

clear water or something like that.
And vet 1t would not have been an
unreal wish to Thomas II. Cooper, OF
Bl'ieteld, w. Va. In digging out Ills
cellar tho other day, he actually struck
a rich vein of coal, and there 1t Is nll
ready for the winter, and II Joy for
ever.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10

In the course OF his remarks before
tho Anti-saloon League meeting at
Smithdeal Hall Friday night, Rev. DR..
George w. Mcdaniel is reported to
have said that the passage of the Dab
ney ordinance would hasten the day
when saloons would be voted out of
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10
Chr Slmss IL ii! Digpatrb
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..


BUSINESS office ........at6 r. Main street.
Washington bureau. .32o-1 Munsey Huildlns.
Manchester d,ureau ........ito2 Hill Street.
Petersburg Bureau ...... 40 N. Sycamore st.
1ynchburg Bureau ..........ei5 Eighth 81.
BY NAIL, One Six Three one
POSTAGE PAID. Year Mos, Mos, Mo.
Daily with Sunday. 5000 $500 3l5o 30
Daily without Sunday 400 400 100 ,SN
Sunday edition only. 200 100 ~ 'fo
Weekly wednesday,, 100 so ~ -
by Times. Dispatch Carrier Delivery SER
vieo in Richmond land suburbs>. Manchcs-
ter and Petersburg
Daily with Sunday. .....t4 cents $500
Daily without Sunday, 10 cents Aso
Sunday only ........... cents s'"'
yearly subscriptions payable in ADVANCE
Entered January 81, 1908, at Richmoha.
W. as second. class matter, under act OF
Congress OF March 8, 1879,
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10
Innocent childhood.
The INDEPENDENT voters.

The voters of Cleveland have decided
wisely In returning Mayor Johnson TO
the City Hail. and in keeping Congress-
man Burton in Washington. No other
American city has been so doubly for
tunate as to possess such eminent pun pub
the height OF folly to eliminate one
and lessen tho value OF the. other by
placing him in position for, tor which 'rSa
result Is not surprising to those who
have observed the intelligence and In
dependence of the Cleveland voters as
manifested in many FORMER elections;
The result of the election should
crafty every friend OF good govern
ment and Independence in politics. not
only in Cleveland, but also through.
out the United states. 1t shows that
the American voter is becoming more
and more an intelligent human being
less and less a mere automaton 70 pc
manipulated by party leaders with the
mysterious Mechanism OF ''rarty 10y
alty."-cleveland Plain Dealer
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10

a: sixty things were somewhat changed;
She Oft times tried to please,
BY smiling cheerily, but then
Her mouth seemed full OF
" wv v,
A: length, there came moment when
She sailed forth and bought
Some artifce to take the place
OF what was plainly
O.-Puck gt
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10
THAT PIE DEBATE.
Norfolk Paper. thinking All Pie. Are
puuluklu. Uaata Tor Haxtan.

The, error OF the TImes-D Dispatch in
the pie co ,n lies at the root
promacy over Texas in gastronomic
AFFAIRS had s, been made on any lines
Would have been found sta tam eap hv
It's Richmond friend in hurting de-
lance at the Houston Post. But we
m Cause WheS fHuc the takas
away from New England of ono Of her
standard articles af diet and the
fserpssn VfF AM ed IF Rhah is
forelg MT to her Cookery books and her r
tables. Pumpkin pies, like Boston on
them. and nd do not like them i when made
lift was SOUTHAMPTON ham. or I've
s Norfolk Vlrglnlan-pilot.
The Rtohmnnd Times ispaatch Is
having a small argument on the sub.
truth y is p handled as il it We're an In
dian club. rather than a double-edged
sword. For INSTANCE: Every child
knows that Nashville Is out of the pie
zone by hundreds of miles, and the ar
rogations OF the American Of that city
a SUPERINTENDENT a-ha Of Pity Far "a flat re-
futation OF this miserable misreprc-
sentation. 1t Is not necessary to look
1.-THE Hon. De Long Rice, who has as,
sorted varieties ofIpie at each meal
and generous v-cut at bedtime as q
and rosy. 1.-the as panther. ana can
nick a piece Of stage talent round q
| bend in the river, sight unseen. ann
| there are a Thousand others who are
Mt companions fnr Exhibit a. SO rass
| 1.-THE pic belt.-Nashville American.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10

IL Mr.. Taft is Mr.. 1soosevelt's can
dldate for the presidency, lie must have
read with more or less misgivings tho
election news from Cleveland. Ohio.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10

That being the case. 1t is somewhat
anomalous that the Anti-saloon League
should oppose the Passage Of the Dab
ney ordinance,
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10
y oice Of the People

in order to get protection from rob-
berry, WHO blatftea the poor farmer for
buying protection from tho cattle
tli'evcB? And got IL IL Legitimate BUS
mess should buy protection from an
unjust law or nn unjust bureau OF gov
eminent, 1t Is Il crime. am not ex-
clsing the evasion OF law or the giving
Of bribes, but am only cohtending that
lawmakers should bo philosophers anu
statesmen, and should recognize normal
human nature ns 1t exists, and SO frame
we tind II, and no harinonize with hu-
man nature as to make 1t better, instead
OF outraging 1T and making 1t worse.
~ the school teacher Us expected to
develop tho character OF tho young,
80 tile lnwtnakcr should frame such
laws NJ would TT the people and mold
character into something better, rather
than provoke rebellion and foster crime.
VT,T2tfS
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10

The Charleston News and Courier
protests against our carelessnass In
referring to George Washington's de-
scendants," and we hereby withdraw
the misleading phrase. Being every
Where hailed as the father OF his coun-
try, as is we'll known. George felt
perfectly. safe IN letting II go at that.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10

The vote OF yesterday is no test or
measure Of the real strength either Of
Republtcanlsm, on the one hand, or OF
Democracy on the other hand. It IS,
in point Of fact. simply o rebuke to
and unworthy bosses, IT
is meant to make an end to a group
of self-confident persons led by Gov
ernor unequal to his opportunities, de-
fiant OF tho better thought Of the par
ty and the country. unwilling to live
and let live, who at one and the
same time was exhausting his own re-
sources and the popular patience. 1t
means, in short. If Democracy is ever
to come to It's own again, higher pur-
poses and broader lines, firmer 10y
atty and better methods. the star of
faith and Fellowship shining above us
ALL not ported and held IN cold stor-
age for the occasional and exclusive
benefit OF q few.--Louisville Courier
Journal,
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10

The No-Tsu-oh Carnival to King
Nottoc-.-spcll 'em backwards and en-
Joy n laugh ut the subtle humor OF
the thing--ls now on in full swing
down In Houston CreX.). Late dis
patches announce that great crowd
or seventeen persons assembled on tho
towns principal street last night ana
cheered Kjnk Nottoc and gaily fred
confetti at each other until nfter quar-
ter past o,
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10

IN my brother, help me To bear witness
to that lightl Whenever ! hear othcrs
enuinerate his dark spots. give ms
grace to say, Look at that one white
beam" II may often he to my Inherent
to keep silence; but then, pray, help
me most to speak My brother may
be unpopular with tile world: my,
more. he may be at variance with my.
self. All the forces within me may
conspire for detraction .rruculence
may whisper, Keep on the popular
side.' Jealousy may say, You need
not cnlogizc rival" Sophistry may
hint 1T lis oil true. In II way: but you,
are not called upon to combat every
thing, everywhere" And your deceit
full heart suggests, "You have no part
in Il; you are only keeping prudent
silence"
Save me from nll these seductions,
o my God! Help mo to say OF my
brother. my erring and censuretl BROTH
en- II have seen his star. Night is
there, cold IL there; but have seen
his star. You point to real shadows;
you tell OF true blemishes; but there'is
another side. 1t is n scene that makes
mo sad; 1t Is a wilderness that makes
mo weary; but l have seen his star
Help me to tell of the light that Is
looming; let me point to the dawn
that is breaking.
Give me. Q my God. tho charity to
champion; the bravery to befrlend; the
pity to protect; the sincerity to shield,
the tenderness to be true; the loving
ness to {bo loyal; the courage to be
candid; the magnanimity to be mercl-
full; the rectitude to reveal my broth
er's good points and to dwell on his
virtues!
Help mo ito bear witness and 50
fulfil my God given mission.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10

Says the Nashville American. '.rle
Roosevelts. md the Hokcsmitl,s and
the Corners should go away back and
s,t down. They have played The devil
with the country It was in Nash
vile. tile Hometown OF this free
spoken editor; that Mr.. Roosevelt rc-
Gently released the very choicest OF
MS crntortcal and -the-nattoY
The United States Ii a
pretty good country. but there Is no
denying that gratitude is stone dead
among lis. ~
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10

The people Of Kentucky have spoken
and in ,unmistakable terms. The ma
chine politician Is routed, and to the
independent voters Of the State IL due
the great victory recorded yesterday
at the polls.
The result shows that Kentuckians
no longer bare their backs ior me
whip. but once more free from the
political yoke, they vote az their In
tclligence dictates for personal and po-
littcal freedom.-Louisville Evening
Post.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10
Heart Interest.

THAT play" remarked the critical per-
son. lacks heart Interest,".
"lt does, eh." answered the star; you
Just ought to see the way the manager Is
taking tho box office receipts to heart
Washington Star.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10

ghs series The ,plspatsh oatobes ~ 1898
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10

championship wayer-belt Of tho South,
Editor Graves made Georgia dry. and
Hearst forthwith summoned him to a
$4,000 berth In nice wet town.
Editor Rhodes made Birmingham dry,
and not welcome beckon has reach
I'D him from the dank zone. You never
can tell.
At Chicago flower show, the Mrs.
Marshall Fled rose valued at $4,000,
won first prize over the Mrs. Potter
Palmer rose and the Alice Roosevelt
rose. The Nine. Anna Gould rosette APP
pears to have been nowhere.
However that Pekin paper which
failed after $50 years OF existence did
not go under because there weren't
enough people willing to tellNthe edi-
ter, IN pointed Chinese. how he ought
to run IT.
A New York court has ruled that
1t is illegal for wife to ehrow dishes
at her husband. Down in Texas they
are holly asking each other what the
fool Judge thinks dishes are for. any
way.
A Paristan scientist has Just perfect
ed camera which will take colored
photographs. His sy stem will undoubt-
eddy make great hit among the coll
ored beauties of jackson Ward.
Captain Richmond P. Hobson remains
so sipsularly silent that 1t Is hard to
escape the conclusion that he IL busy
oiling up his bellows for the grand
opening Of Congrers.
American football has been taken
up by tho Russian college students.
evidently with tho cunning design OF
picking off the grand dukes in their
youth.
However. 1t would not be safe to
turn on the light in the Roosevelt
way unless Old Reliable Pompadour
were on hand to manipulate the fire.
engine.
Cleveland. o.. had better look out
If she pushes her Independence too far
Mr.. Roosevelt may never give her any
advice again.
Be easy on Kentucky for awhile. She
has not yet had time to get her Re.
publican clothes on straight.
Inc Mrs. Marandll spleld roses seems
to call loudly for Mrs. MARSHALL Me
one.
The Taft Boom will come. home II
a stout casket. securely lidded.
Some say that the biggest failhr,
we have yet had was the panic.
Sell thermometers short. They arr
going down.
In n Lifetime.
When Ethel's little teeth burst forth
In cunning baby rows.
They looked, so Ma and Pa declared.
Like lines OF pearly
100000.
She grew to be beauteous maid
And young men would enthuse
About her wond'rous matchlsss teeth
| An even line Of
Uuuuu,
a: aixty things we're somewhat changed;
| She off times tried to please,
BY smiling cheerily but then
Her mouth seemed full OF
| " wv v,
A: length. there came moment when
| She sailed forth and bought
Some arthce to take the place
OF what was plainly
O.-Puck
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-11-10

rho following letter comes In reply
to request from the Weather BIZ
'reau.
w ea tiier Bureau CITY:
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-03-29
An Unusual Complaint Fiied--Acon

An Unusual Complaint Fiied--Acom-
plant Of unusual Significance was filed
in the Office OF Justice Goodman yes
terday by Dan J. ingalls,, the patriarch
farmer and political warehouse OF the
Lewis & Clark valley. II charges his
tenant, T.. O. Newell, with cruelty TO
animals and recites certain facts m
connection with his treatment Of
span OF horses belonging to the lesser
and complainant which. II proven, Is
likely to result In a hsavy accounting
on the part OF Newell. The team was
driven to this city last evening by Mr..
ingalls, and II took just five hours to
make the trip to twelve miles, so weak
and emaciated are the animals on ac-
count OF the alleged neglect The de-
fendant was placed under bonds of
$3.50, yesterday, for his appearance be-
fore Justice Goodmna at 1880 p. m. on
Saturday next.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1907-03-29
All Want the Hess--wnen one goes

All Want the Best-when one goes
in search Of amusement Of certain
kind. as, for instance, q tlne line Of
moving pictures. ne wants the best
and latest and will not be satisfied
with thread-bare and common presen-
tations. In this line. the films now on
at the waldorf are said to be among
the real artistic work Of that kind pro-
grammed in this western country. In
all there are six Of these realistic
strings and all are living portrayais
Of the leading events Of history. such
as the "Bennipgton at San Diego;'
the Transfer OF Paul Jones;' the
1.-TWO Champion Wrestling Matches OF
the World" the "Slums OF Paris"
Monsieur Beaucaire. or the Gentle-
man Friend" and others Of equal and
remarkable fidelity. make up series
of entertaining items not to be dis
counted in this city. 's