davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05
Making Progress,

Neighbor-How's your boy Milton get
ting along at college?
Uncle Haycroft-Fine. Milt's goin' to
be a regular orator. He can talk about
the personal equation, an other things
being equal, an questions for academic
discussion, an all that sort O. lingo, jest
like an old hand.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05
ALnstinC Impression.

swell, Bertha, hear you met Mr..
Cooke yesterday. Did you like himP"
do you know, dear, he made an i'm
preston upon me that nothing will OBJ
literate."
Really! How-what did he say?"
at wasn't what he said; it was what
he did. He spilled cup Of tea over
my new white silk dress"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05

A Pennsylvania man has invented a
method for getting any number you
want on the telephone by simply press
ing button Central had better watch
out for her job by being pleasant all
the time now.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05

Hudson Maxim announces that he
has completed an invention which will
make armor-plate useless. This ought
TO help some more toward the estab-
Mshment Of universal peace.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05

An Eastern woman who is being tried
for murder was greatly disturbed the
other day because a reporter in describ-
ing her costume overlooked some Of its
aner points. City editors should always
be particular to send their fashion
editress to report such functions.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05

A Colorado matchmaker, after hear
Ing that he had fallen heir to 100000,
went on repairing watch that he had
taken apart. A man with such nerves
ought to have learned to be a tight
rope walker.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05

A Boston woman filed a petition in
bankruptcy In the forenoon and was
married in the evening. Her husband
may file petition in bankruptcy lit
tie later.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05

Miss Ida Tarbell attributes the evils
Of the day to mental dizziness. While
she may be right and all that, it would
seem that she could have thought of
something more pleasant to say.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05

Ask Your Dealer for Aliens FOOt-Eass
powder to shake into your shoes. 1t rests
the feet, Cures Corns, Bunions, Swollen
Sore, Hot, Callous, Aching, Sweating feet
and Ingrowing Nails. Aliens Foot-E Ease
makes new or tight shoes easy. Sold by all
Druggists and Shoe Stores, Csc. Sample
mailed FREE. Address Allen S. 0lmsteds
LIE RoY. n. 7.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05

'aThe best that can be said about au-
tomobiles," remarks the Charleston
News, Us that they will stand still
without being hitched." But the trou-
BILE Is that too often they persist in
standing still when they ought to get 9
move on.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05

John W. Gates has leased a shooting
preserve Of 1000 acres in France. We
take it for granted that there are no
millionaire preserves in that country.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05

By mistake a man who meant to
varnish his front door used maple
syrup. Fortunately, though, it does not
appear that he used varnish on his
buckwheat cakes.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05

Although there are now five explor-
ers after it, there is nothing to indicate
that the North Pole has been wasting
away for want OF sleep.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05
1t Broke.

Freddy, you shouldn't laugh out
loud in the schoOlrOom," exclaimed the
teacher.
Il didn't mean to do it," apologized
Freddy. II was smiling, when all of
sudden the smile busted "-Harper's
Weekly
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05
Determined Optimism

"Grandfather, how have you managed
faith in human nature?"
MY dear, 1 avoid modern fiction, new
er go to see a society drama, and read
nothing in the newspapers that has a dis
play head over it's
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05

May Yohe, formerly Lady Francis
Hope and then Mrs. Putnam Bradlee
Strong, has become Mrs. Brown. Smith
and Jones may as well line up.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05

tell Of cures made by
Doan's Kidney Pills.
John c. Coleman, a
prominent merchant
Of Swainsboro, Ga,
saws: For several
years my XII d Il e Y s
were affected, and my
back ached day and
night. | was languid,
nervous and lame in
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05

To be on good terms with human ma
ture, Be Well! Garfield Tea purifes the
blood, eradicates disease, regulates the
digestive organs and brings Good Health!
Manufactured by Garfield Tea Co.,
Brooklyn, n. Y. Sold by druggists.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05
Onininn Conarnred.

Explosion of a cargo Of soap read
Tired Thomas, who had picked up
discarded paper.
There" exclaimed his travelling com
panion, Il always told you that stuff
was dangerous. Philadelphia Ledger.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05

The Duke Sf Marlborough has heart
trouble, but it would give any man
heart trouble to be separated from a
wife who has $2O,CO0,OOO.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05

Already six Carnegie hero medals
have been found IN the pawn shops.
Which merely goes to show that even
heroes at times suffer from thirst and
hunger
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05

Boy IN the South ate a calendar and
died. This fondness for dates Will have
to be checked.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05

the morning. Doan's Kidney Pills help
ed me right away, and the great relief
that followed has been permanent"
Sold by all dealers. 80 cents box.
Foster Milburn Co., Buffalo, n. Y.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05

The town of Torquay, England, has
adopted a bylaw to prohibit people from
using bad language even in their own
houses.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05

Many who formerly smoked Zoe cigars
now smoke Lewis "Single Binder"
straight sc cigar. The best COMPUTATION
off the best tobaccos. Lewis Factory
Peoria, Ill.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05

Japan says It is for. peace, and to
prove it launches the biggest warShip
ever.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05

| Americans and American capital are
| going into Ceylon to assist in the devel-
Dpment of the tea-growing industry this
| year as never before.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05

fewness OF years. A university profes.
sor of economies states that he predict
ed this latest change some five years
ago at the time when the large corpor-
ations were beginning to indulge in
youth worship" He foresaw that
should the industrial development OF
the country continue at its rapid rate
the time would soon arrive when there
would be more work of an important
nature than the young men of the ma
ton could handle by themselves. An
arbitrary age limit works great hard
ship to q host of individuals, for it was
never more true than now that the
number Of years one has lived afford
an uncertain index Of ones efficiency.
In every department of activity where
no such arbitrary age-limit exists there
are to be found men old in years pursu-
Ing their tasks with the ardor Of youth.
To call q man Of forty-fve or fifty
"old'' has always been regarded as more
or less Of a joke in this country. In
England, 1t is the fashion for men to
retire from active life at an age when
they would be just reaching their prime
in America. ''The younger the man the
better his work" does not always fol-
low. The more logical method is to
look at the work and not the age Of
the worker. Give him a fair chance
and the old man will generally be
found holding up his end.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05

If a mans first name is Jake, .
chances are quite favorable for his wife
calling him Mister"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05

BY a recent census The population Of
Rome, former mistress of the world, is
5O6,S4O.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05

- = ST. Vitus' Dance ali Nervous Diseases
- Permanently Cured by DR.. Klnes Great
Nerve Restorer Send for Free S2 Trial bottle and treatise
DIR. H. KLINE, Id 931 Arch Street. Philadelphia Pa
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05

Which is the mother of the chicken
tho hen that laid the egg, the hen that
Matched II, or the incubator that hatch
ed iti
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05

One of the favorite topics Of the
newspapers Is the income Of wealthy
persons; the annual millions figured
down to so many thousands a day and
so many dollars a minute. Men love
to read the imposing figures, and to pic
ture to themselves the various pleasures
they would buy If they only had the
princely wealth Of Mr.. Dives. The
wonder and envy which a knowledge
of these great incomes excites are not
confined to the poor. The man whose
income Is one thousand dollars a year
cannot understand how the two-thou-
sand-dollar man can ever be cramped
for funds; and the two-thousand- dol
lar man says, "Now If 1 only had five
thousand, as Smith has, could not
only get on, but save something" A
better but less common way Is to fol-
low the chain in the other direction.
You cannot understand how any one
can lay up anything on an income of
fifteen dollars a week, which Is your
own; and yet there Is Jones, who gets
only two dollars a day-he seems to be
comfortable; and so is Johnson, at nine
dollars a week; and for that matter,
so, too, is the Office boy at three dol
lars. The fact is that, consciously or
unconsciously, we cut out coat accord
ing to our cloth. Our expenditures in
crease as our income grows. New needs
arise, new interests open to us, new
charities appeal. The ear which for
merly by necessity was deaf, is now
wide open, and so, when the time comes
to strike the annual balance, the TWEEN
ty-thousand dollar man finds himself
no better off, perhaps, than his two
thousand-dollar neighbor. The morale
Well, there are two. One is to remem-
Der, in prosperity, the day Of small
things, and to question each new need
which arises, to see If it Is real. The
other is to judge charitably those whose
incomes are larger than ours, and to
remember that If we have difficulty in
doing all that we should like to do, the
chances are that those whom we call
our more fortunate neighbors may also
shave troubles of their own"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05

Mrs. VinsIow's SOOTHING syrup for ChildrSp
teething softens the gums, reduces Inflammation al
lays pain, cures wind sole. D cents bottle.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-06-05
BAcKAcHE IS K1DNEYAcHE.

Never Return.
Only one way to cure an aching back.
Cure the cause. the kidneys. Thousands
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1907-08-08
curfew Rings For colOred Folks.

The Klu.Klux-K Khan has been re-
vived and the curfew rings for ne
groes in Monroe City. Mo-. since a
crowd of black men attacked the Rev.
Father Thomas Mullen. pastor OF the
Holy Rosary Church. Many we'll
known citizens have banded them
selves together to keep the negroes
from the streets at night.
While the citizens have no stipu-
lated organization with officers, &c,
they maintain an agreement to make
the negroes obey them. Plscards
have been posted about town warning
the negroes iha; if they are not of the
streets at $50 p. m. each day they
may suffer the consequences. A bell
is rung at that time each night and
now all Monroe City negroes wend
their way homeward when the curfew
rings.
Two negroes Of Selbins heard Of
Monroe City's ourfew and determined
to show their friends that they would
not obey it. The two negroes came
from Shelbins several nights ago.
One of them, knewn as desperate,
tore down one Of the placsrds. The
Marshal caught him in the act and
locked him up. The negro was re-
leased at midnight, in time to catch
a train for Shelbina, but before he
could reach the station crowd OF cit
liens seized him and and gave him
forty. nine lashes. The desperadO's
companion was found and they were
told to take the first train for Shell.
bina, and never come back. They
have not been In Monroe Clty since.
Several nights ago a crowd Of
drunken blacks was quarreling in
front Of the Rev. Father Mullens res
idence. When be tried TO quiet the
providers the priest was struck in the
head with whiskey bottle and in
jured. The boys of Monroe City be-
gan the campaign to keep the blacks
off the streets at night, but when
they carried the matter to the ex-
IRENE, older citizens took the matter
in hand. The City Council has dis
cussed the trouble but not taking sc-
ton.
Stoutsville, eight miles southwest
Of Monroe City, will not allow a col
ored person to stay in the town.
Monroe county is settled largely by
Southerners, and is the Democratic
stronghold Of the State.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1907-08-08
A Story Of Daniel webster, the Boy.

Gustav Isenberg, Philadelphia, Pa,
sends us the following an.cdote Of
Daniel Webster's school days.
When Daniel Webster entered Phil
lips Academy at the foot OF the low
est class, the higher class boys were
Inclined to make fun of the difident
lad clad in homespuu; but Daniel,
taking little notice of this treatment.
applied himself to study, and soon
rose to tae head of the class. One
day the teacher said alond in school:
"Dsniel Webster, take your books,
and stand up. air." Daniel obeyed.
and the kind old man continued !:
leave the room and go into higher
class. Boys, say goodbye to him, for
you will never overtake him." He
went through college, became a dis.
tinguished lawyer and orator, a Unit
ed States Senator, and the great ex-
FOUNDER Of the American Constitution.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1907-08-08
To the Afflicted.

DR.. c. H. Whiting, late with DR..
Watson of New York, Graduate OF Med
icine for the past AZ years, and who has
for the past 20 years made disease OF
the rectum his speciality. desires to in
form his patrons and the public that he
has removed to 92S N. Fulton Avenue,
Baltimore, Md, where he has every fac
ility for the above treatment, which is
so thoroughly advanced that his patrons
are not prevented from attending to
their duties, nor are surgical operations
resorted to. de makes no charge for
consultation or examination. Ladies
treated at their homes by skilled lady
attendants. DIR. Writings process
knows not the meaning of the word
failure" Why suffer this dread dis
ease when permanent relief is at hand.
Phone Madison l744 Y. Thousands OF
testimonials presented upon applica-
ton.
Have cured two doctors IS years old,
who had practiced medicine for 90
years, also cured one man S8 years old,
who lived for five years afterwards, and
cured a woman SO years old. The treat
ment is concluded in from three to five
minutes, and no bad effects afterward.
People gain from 25 to 80 pounds after
reatment.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1907-08-08
The sexton's Barometer.

When anybody asks Abel Hicks
sexton Of the Bushby Orthodox meet
ing house. what he thinks about the
probabilities for fair weather, Mr..
Hicks gives his opinion with the air
of one having authority.
"When l took my old bell.rope in
hand last night to ring her for the
Christian Eudeavorers,' Mr.. Hicks
will say on occasion, "shs's squenched
up dry as an old bone. You no need
to carry your umbrellas today, unless
you want EN- for looks
But there are other times when
Mr.. Hicks shakes his head at the
hopeful leaders Of picnic party.
Better plan TO staY nigh shelter
today. sos you c IN get under cover, F"
he says. firmly. There want a
mite o give to my old bell-rope till
yesterday, but last night she's most
IN 'lst as sponge, all kind o strirey
an spodgy; | tell ye, should put
of that enterprise o yours till next
week. The ro,ds'll be prime after the
two days rain that coming to u,.'
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1907-08-08

A colored preacher took some cam
didates for immersion down to river
in Louisiana. Seeing some slligators
in the stream. one Of them objected.
why. brother" urged the pastor.
"can't you trust the Lord7 he took
care of Jonah, didn't Hs2"
"Y.a-a-s," admitted the "darky."
.but a whales dif'rent. A whales
got mem'rY, but eff one O. dem ga
tors wus ter swaller dis niger, he'd
jes' go ter sletp dar in de sun an fer-
git all bout me-.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1907-08-08

One Of the moet beautiful objects
of the night sky at present IL the
planet Mars. Once in Is years this
planet swings within 3S. 000. 900 miles
of the earth it shines with a redd,sh
hue and lie somewhat brighter than
star Of the first magnitude. At
present it is nearest to the earth and
rises about sunset, or little later, IN
the southeast. 1t can easily be found
by any observer. For many years
Mars has been the subject of study by
astronomers 1, is the most interest,"
ing of all the planets and is the only
one aside from our own that is be-
lieyed to be inhabited. 1t seems 70
present all the conditions ofhfs. Air
and water seem to be present and ito
light and heat from the sun are about
43 per cent Of the light and heat re-
ceiyed by the earth. Prot. Lowell.
of Arizona, who has spent several
months this summer studying Mars
through first class telescope, declares
that be believes that he has discover.
ed unmistakable evidence Of a race OF
giants on the planet. But other as.
tronomers doubt bis conclusions. and
indeed it seems imposs- bic that his
observations could have been 90 ac-
curste. Ii is not improbable that
Mars is inhabited, but Whatever our
coniectures, we do not know.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1907-08-08
Alexander Dumaa was dining one

Alexander Dumas was dining one
day at the house Of a banker, in COM
pany with General T. At desse- t the
conversation turned on the existence
of God. Il, for my part" said the
General cannot imagine the exist
ence Of such a mysterious deity as the
Supreme Being
General" replied Dumas. 81 keep
at home two hounds. couple of mon
keeps, and a parrot, which are exactly
of your opinion.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1907-08-08
Story of a Strange Battle.

One of the 6erceet and most SAN
culinary battles to the death between
large rattlesnske and kingsnake
that was ever witnessed took place
in the edge of The great palm forest
south of Yucca, Arizona, a few days
ago.
R. P. Wheeler, superintendent of
the Big Sandy Mining Co.. aud two
companions were driving from Signal
to Castenadas Well and found the
snakes in fierce combat in the road,
according to the Mohave Miner. For
more than an hour they watched the
tide of the battle with usual interest.
The snakes fought warily, seeking adj
yantages, but like fash the ling
snake gripped the RATHER close to the
head and was folding itself coil after
coil around the body of its antagonist.
Near the middle of the RATHER the
kingsnake had formed running knot
of its body like figure 8 and in its
creepy folds was soon crushing out
the others lire.
With a desperate effort the rattler
freed its head from the grip Of the
kingsnake and like fash of light
was sinking its deadly fangs into the
others body. Time after time the
rattler's head quivered and flashed as
it struck its poison Aecked fsngs
against the sidss of the writhing king.
snake, until at last they became fasten.
ed in its body, requiring an effort to
loosen the hold. During all this time
the snakes were writhing and beating
up the sands of the road into such a
cloud of dust that their movements
could scarcely be followed.
Soon it developed that it was but
matter Of little time until the king.
snake crushed out the life of the rat.
tier, as he again had him in deadly
folds and again gripped him close to
the head. Tue hour being late in thu
afternoon, Mr.. Wheeler apd compan-
ions placed the snakes, still locked In
their deadly coils, into box and took
them to Castenadas Well. Then
they were iumpel out and the tight
continued. Within an hour the rat.
tier was crushed into an inert mass.
The kingsnake, realizing that his
foe was dead, proceeded to investigate
and smelled his old enemy carefully
from head to tail. One Of the men
removed the rattles toward the last of
the battle and the stump was still
bleeding. As the kingsnake came to
the bleeding stump his body writhed
and swelled and his head raised and
swayed from side to side and then
descended on the luckless tail with
an angry swish. Then, without fur.
Their ceremony be proceeded to swallow
his late enemy In the most approved
cannibalistic manner.
The hard. fought battle had been
won and the victor, having disposed
of the spoil, sluggiahly and YEARLY
dragged its battered and bleeding
frame into nearby bush, there to di-
gest the dinner it had so hardly won.
Four hours had been consumed in the
battle and deglutination of the van.
pushed RATHER.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1907-08-08

Don't accept cough cure that you
may be told is just as good as Kennedy's
Laxative Cough Syrup, because IT isn't
Just as good-there isquite adherence.
Kennedy's Laxative Cough Syrup acts
gently upon the bowels aud clears the
whole system Of coughs and colds. 1t
promptly relieves inflammation of the
throat and aIlays irritation. Sold by
Remnants Pharmacy.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1907-08-08
Neighbors Got Fooled.

Il was literally coughing myself TO
death, and had become too weak TO
leave my bed and neighbors predicted
that would never leave il alive but
they got fooled, for thanks be to God, /
was induced To try DR.. Kings New
Discovery. 1t took just four one dollar
bottles to completely cure the cough
and restore me TO good sound health. +"
writes Mrs. Eva Uncapher, Of Grover
town, Stark Co., Ind. This King Of
cough and cold cures, and healer Of
throat and lungs, is guaranteed by
Hills Pharmacy. SOC. and sl.00. Tri-
al bottle free.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1907-08-08
BEATI ILL.

Ble,t is the man whose heart and hands are Pure'
He hath no sickness that he shall not cure
No sorrow thar he may not well endure;
His feet are steadfast and his hope IS sure.
Oh. biest is he who ne'er hath sold his SOUL
Whose will is perfect, and whose word IS wnoie'
Who hath not paid to common sense the toll
OF self-dissrace. nor owned the worlds eonuo''
Through clouds and shadows Of the darkest nish'
He will not lose glimmering Of the light
Nor, though the sun Of day be shrouded quite.
Swe.ve from The narrow path 70 leit or night.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1907-08-08

Harry. here are three apples.
Now, suppose SAute ! you to divide
them equally between James, John
and yourself. How would you do
"rd give them one and keep the
others"
"Why. how do you make that out p
"Well. you see. il would be one for
those two and one for me too"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1907-08-08
Ten Years In Bed.

"For ten years was confined to my
bed with disease OF my Kidneys writes
r. A. Gray, Up. OF 0akviIle, Ind. lit
was so severe that | could not move part
Of the time. consulted the very best
medical skill available, but could get no
relief until Foley's Fidney Cure was
recommended to me. Ii has been .
Godsend to me- Hills Pharmacy.