davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1907-07-28
Senator Calls "snassed Pants"

Senator Calls "snagsed Pants"
In his day Senator Call was the mos
popular man In Florida.
When congress adjourned Mr.. Call
would go home. put on gray hickory
coat with large holes at the elbows. au
Old tan colored, perspiration stained
SLOUGH hat and get into his sulky for
an electioneerlng tour through the
state.
He would travel over the sand hills
and through the pine forests. stoppingat
every cabin ito pass the time of day
He kissed all tho children. asked for n
smack" TO eat and when the farmer
wife offered him butter he always pre-.
ferred sorghum on his bread. When
night overlook him he put up" ut
tho nearest farmhouse. no matter how
nnlnviting 1t might be. and when he
went to bed held out his ragged troi.
sers to HIS host. saying:
~ snngged my pants In the brush
today. and I'd be under everlasting
obligations IL your good wife would
mend them for me-
or course the woman would sit up
all night TO patch the garments of q
United States senator, and she put In
her prettiest stitches, but he would rim
of the patch In day or two and play
the same game IN the next county.
The name of the women In Florida
who have mended Senator Calls pants
Is legion, and 1t is the proudest event
In their lives.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1907-07-28
. The
Scrap Book
Tho Way lie Heard IL.


sailor who had been to church
scrvice. where he heard some fine mu-
Sic, was aftcrward dcscnnting upon
an anthem which had given him great
pleasure.
listening shipmatc finally asked.
II say. Bill. what's n hanthem?"
WHAT. exclaimed Eli. DO YOU
mean to say you don't know what u
hanthcm Isl"
Not me-"
We'll. then, I'll tell yer. II I was
TO tell yer. Ere, I'ill. give me that
'nndSpilic,' that wouldn't he hanthcm.
But If WINS to say. 'Bll, BIZ, Bill.
give. give, give me that, Bill, give me,
give me that and. give me that and.
'andspikc, spike. spike. Bill, give me
that. that and, 'andspilsc, and. and
spike. spike. spike. spike, Ahmen. all
men. Observation-Disclosures spike.
Ahmcn" why, that would be han
them"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1907-07-28

~ captain OF Industry.
y Presbyterian minister of Buffalo
had young son, a lad about ten ycnrs
of age. He was cndeavoring TO bring
him up in the way lie should go, aud
was one day asked by friend what
he Intended to make OF him. In reply
lie said:
II am watching the indications. ]
have plan which propose trying
with the boy. 1t Is this am going
to place In my parlor Bible. au apple
and silver dollar Then am going
to leave the room and call In the boy.
am going to watch him from some
convenient place without letting him
know that he is seen. Then, If he
chooses the Bible, shall make Il
preacher of him; II lie takes the apple.
farmer he shall be: but If lie chooses
the dollar l will make him business
man"
Tho plan was carried out The ar
rangcmcnts were made and the boy
called In from his play. After II little
while the preacher and his wife softly
entered the rom. There was the
yOungstcr. lie was seated on the ri.
bic. in one hand was the apple, from
which he was just taking bite, and
In the other he clnsped the silver dol.
lar. The good man turned to his con.
sort. Wife" he said. "thc boy is a
hog. He'll he captain of industry In
spite of anything we can do"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1907-07-28
A MANS PLANT. Nal
Invitations by Telephone Opposed by
Member of Stern Sex

member OF Stcrn Sex.
"Thcrc should bc Il law to keep peo.
pie from asking one by telephone TO
20 places" growlcd the man. 1T Is n
very difficult thing for me To prcvnrI-
cate on my feet. If It weren't for the
presence of lovely woman shouldn't
have said 'prcvarlcatc.'
''Iias anything happened recently TO
bring forth this phIlippIcT asked the
woman dclicately.
YES" replied her companion, stlll
IN a growl, Il have Just been sand.
baggcd into making an engagement TO
20 sailing If there ISNnythIng In the
world | particularly dislike, IT ia sail
Ing; bcastly sport. particularly In TN.
certain weather like this.
81 have never gone anywhere on n
sailboat that we haven't been either
bccalmcd or lrcnched."
81 should think that my one as fer
tile OF excuses nv have found YOU TO
he could have managed TO get out OF
accepting such mn invitation"
81 could have IL It L1lnt been for
/ that invention OF the c1il one. the tcle-
phone. Tell YOU how 1t was. The 9th.
or day / was called up over the phone
by girl with mighty sweet voice
| didn't recognize II In the least. rs
that you, Mr.. Smith, tho voice asked.
81 replied that II was I.
"'Whnt are you going TO do on Sat
urdayT inquired the voice.
Nothing l replied before thought
"Isn't that dcllghtfulv said the
voice. Then you will go with us on
n sailing trip, won't your
"'Who Is thls?' asked, my caution
asserting itself too late.
"Thcn she spoke her name, and by
nil the little fishes It was TINT OF
girl whom especially dislike. But
what could do? II refused, then
should make an enemy OF her for life
/ There Will bc no one IN the party who
will DO IN the least interesting to me-
and 80 have let myself In for about
ns bnd n day us my worst enemy could
desire for Mo.
NOW. should like TO see law
passed making invitations by telephone
felony TO be punished ny imprison-
mcnt. and think II should he legally
enacted also that no woman or man
may preface an invitation by saying
what are you going to do on such and
such day and thus cutting Off all
hope OF retreat for the Victim"
at Is low down thing to do" MS
scented the woman absently. but OF
course there is always way out OF
st."
"How7 Women nrc Ingenious things,
but not even one OF that slippery sex
could get out of definite engagement.
could she"
"Of course. She would have head
nche at the last moment Why don't
you do that or else send n note by
messenger TO shy that you have been
called out OF town on important bust
ness?"
AZ could not do IT," declared the man.
after have promised, and the party
Is mnde up end my hostess Ia depend
Ing on me. could not be so bcastly
mean as to dIsnppoint her-I couldn't
really. That Is feminine trick; 1t
isn't masculine"
ooh, isn't ItT' scoffed the woman as
she placed pillow at her back.
"Wcll, you would think II was mnscu-
line II you were hostess during tho
season."
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1907-07-28
PLANT A TREE.


lie who plants tree
Plants hope;
Rootlcts M through nbcrs blindly grope;
Leaves unfold unto horizons free.
So mans life must climb
From the clods OF time
Unto heavens sublime.
Canst thou prophcEy. thou little tree.
What the glory Of thy boughs shall bef
lie who plants tree.
He plants love;
Tents OF coolncs5 spreading out above
Wayfnrcrs he may not 1.-Two to see.
Gifts that grow best:
Hands that bloss are bcst;
Plant! Life docs tho rest.
Heaven and earth help him who plants q
tree.
And his work Its own reward shall be.
Lucy Larcom.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1907-07-28
Tho Hos. Was Pleased.

EuWnip Everett Hale was one OF the
guests at millionnire's dinner.
Tho millionaire was free spender,
but lie wanted full credit for every
dollar put out.
And as the dinner progressed he told
his guests what the more expensive
dishes had cost He dwelt especially
on the expense or the large and beau.
tiful grapes, each bunch n foot long,
each grape bigger than plum. He
told down to u penny what he had fig
ured It out that the grapes had cost
him apiece.
The guests looked annoyed. They
nte the expensive grapes charity But
DIR. Hale, smiling, extended his plate
and said:
Would You mind cutting me off
about S1.S7 worth more, please ?"-New
York Tribune.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1907-07-28

son was entering the dining room, he
met Blaine. after having passed and
repasscd him many times. The Maine
man graspcd him cordially 10y the
hand, called him by name ana I'm.
CURED about Iowa.
II had heard OF Speaker Blainc's
wonderful faculty for remembering
namcs." says General Henderson.
when I had seated myself at the
table bcckoncd TO the head waiter.
"'lInsn't Mr. Blaine asked YOU my
namc:' said 10 him. Now think hard
and lie sure of your answer
Yes. sah.' replied the waiter. IIe
done called me ovah las night m
asked yo' name an all about yo'
told him yo' was NIistah Henderson "
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1907-07-28
The Star Of the Play.

a proud fathcr was helping his chill
drcn with little parIor play ut home
in whose plot courtships and weddings
played n leading part. During the
progress of the play he went behind
the scenes, where lie found his youn-
gcst offspring sitting quietly In Il cor
ncr.
"Why. Marie" asked hc have you
been left out of the play? Why aren't
you on with the othcrs?'
I'm not left out" Indignantly denied
Marie. I'm the baby waitln' to be
bornr'-Ladies' Home Journal.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1907-07-28
Blaine's Memory.

biaine's Memory.
Tho late cx-Spcaker Henderson used
10 tell story of one of his initial ex-
pcriences among public men In WASH
1Dgton. 1t was before he had been
elected TO congress.
Blaine was then speaker Naturally
he was one of the statesmen that Cen
eral Henderson much desired to meet,
and the opportunity came ono morn
Ing just as the speaker was passing
through the lobby on his way to the
marble rostrum. The formal greetings
were exchanged In brief moment.
md General Henderson was left to see
the swinging doors close on the form
OF the Republican leader
Six years later General Henderson
again came 10 Washington, this time
20 get Iowa divided into two judicial
dist<icts. lie put up ut Wormley's,
,s''"ie Blaine also lived. 1t being in
those days n fashionable and flourish
Ing hosiery. A week or so after his
arrival from Iowa, as General Icndcr.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1907-07-28
Hia Own Rusincss.

Citiman-Look here. sir. didn't you
warrant the horse you sold Inc yester-
day TO be without fault?
David Harum-Ycs Amt he?
Citiman-No, sir. lie is not. He inter
feres.
David IIarum-Wall, I don't see MS
you hey any reason fur complainin'
about that. He don't interfere with
anybody but himself. does he?-Llppin-
colts.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1907-07-28

1t was the first night Pat and Mike
spent In America. They secured n
small room at n boarding house. There
were no screens at the windows. Dc
ing afraid OF robbers Pat and Mike
decided to let the light burn all night
Soon the mosquitoes became intoler
able
Lets turn out the light so they
can't find u.s. said Pat.
In short while some firenles fitting
about entered the room.
Never having seen any before, Mike
exclaimed:
"IIully gee, Pat! They're comm af,
ter us with their lanterns!'
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1907-07-28

"That hoy of Smiths. just home
from college is II wonder"
''ln what wayf"
Somebody asked him the other day
fbout the easiest md quickest way OF
settling the pressing problems of the
time. ana he said lie didn't know
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1907-07-28
Norfolk G Washington
Steamboat Co.

Tho new and powerful Iron Palaca
Steamers Newport News, Washington
and Norfolk will leave daily us fol.
lows:
NORTHBoUND.
Leave Portsmouth, foot OF
North street ......... 500 D
Leave Norfolk, foot of Wa
ter street ..,.....,... 6:OOpm
Leave Old Point Comfort :OOpm
Arrive in Washington -. 700 m
Arrive in Philadelphia,
Penn. II. II. ........ $1,000 n IN
Arrive In Philadelphia, u.
& o. Il. X. ........... .''11:1O m
Arrive In New York. Penn.
r. II. .a............ 1:1Opm
Arrive in New York. d. &
o. II. II. ............. $500 pm
SOUTHBOUND.
Lv. New York. Penn II. r.. 1900 M
Lv New York, b. & o. II. n. 1900 m
Ly. Philadelphia, Penn. II. II. 2.65 IN
Lv. Phila., d. &. o. II, r.. 2:OSpm
Ar. Washington. Penn. II. II. 6:1Opm
Ar. Wash, b. s. o. Il. r.. ."'5 100 ia
Lv Washington .......... $50 pm
Ar. Old Point Comfort -. 700 M
Ar. Norfolk .............. $500 m
Ar. Portsmouth ........... 49,: so Il III
'Daily. "'Daily except Sunday.
The trip down the historic Potomac
River and Chesapeake Bay on tho
elegant steamers of this company Is
unsurpassed. The steamers are com.
paratlvely new, having been built in
1891. and are fitted UP In the most
inxurlant manner. with electric lights.
call bells and steam neat in each
room. The tables are supplied with
every deicacy OF the season from
the markets OF Washington and Nor
folk. For tickets. reservation of
staterooms. and further information.
apply to d. J. CALLAHAN, Agent.
Norfolk, Va.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1907-07-28
Nellio's Joke.

y little girl in western village. who
discovered the moon In the sky one
day ana who had never seen that phc.
nomcnon before. rushed into the house
eNclniming. "Oh, mamma. mamma,
I've got the best Joke on our Father
which nrt in heaven" "Why. Nellie,
Nellie" said the nstonislcd md
shocked mother. what do you
mcan?' "Nhy, he-he-hc's forgot to
take In the moon"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1907-07-28
Norfolk Ferry Schedule

Pine Beach Route, Steamer Endeavor
Leaves Ivy avenue pier for Pine
Beach or Norfolk "6:45, ss7:3O. 900,
1890 n. M. IL M; 1880. 800, 1880.
600. 1880 and 300 D. m.
Leave Norfolk. 1880, 900, 1O;3O n.
IN. and 1900 M, 1880, 800, 4:3O,
600, 1880 and 900 p. m.
''Dally except Sunday. ''Sunday
only.
Schedule subject to change without
''o''oe' .A..i .IaHieGasa
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1907-07-28

Tho $50 Easy" Eye Glass is the
elimination OF many years OF effort
to produce mounting which would
be absolutely inconspicuous (by the
elimination of all superfIuous metal
and the detail OF mechanical con.
struction), at the same time posses
sing rigidity. and security. This has
been accomplished with the utmost
delicacy.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1907-07-28
Clyde Steamship Co.
Steamers 60 Philadelphia

''s0'P'''a .,---
BOMBAY, THUReDAX and ST
eATURDAY. -
Sailing from Philadelphia, Tuesday,
Thursday and Saturday.
Freight received and delivered daily
at g. G. o. Pier Mo. 8. Office, River
Road. JAS. w. McCARRI0E,
Gen. goutharn ACT.
CLYDE STEAMSHIP CO.,
IL gouth Delaware Avenue. PhiiadeS
phiB. PA. I.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1907-07-28

Tho new and powerful Iron Palaca
steamers. Newport News, Washington
and Norfolk will leave daily us fol.
lows:
The Idaho scimitar. [volume] (Boise, Idaho) 1907-1908, 1907-12-14
PRESIDENT SMITHS DEFIANCE.

the testimony privileges
of
F.
head of the Mormon church.:
The ChaouDo obey the law in having five wives this time
and having them bear eleven children the manifesto
Mr. SmihNlr. Chairman have
obeyed the law Of the land do BEFORE
stand chances the should to
connection with this that wenown throughout all
and have sought
that have five Utah My friends all hGn1es
and Mormons They all know that [ have five wives
The Idaho scimitar. [volume] (Boise, Idaho) 1907-1908, 1907-12-14

In its the committee considering the above testimony said:
1.-The committee asounded hear, from this head Of the
ITSELF not only that he believed the rghtune of poygmy abstract
principle but that he himself daily exempng his belief by living
and notorious poygamy the capital Of the State of Utah.
and had been the manifesto and than
posed continue the practice
the Congress the United
We amazed to learn this head
reveator this moupece Of Cod this shepherd
faith and honor had been hypotecate himself his
observance of the that he living women as
and had been 1890 defiance
and had had forwo children eleven
him the manifesto
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-03-26
WHERE AMERICAN MEAT GOES.

Meats. dairy products, and food an
finals sent out of the United States last
year aggregater over $50 million dollars
in value. More than so per cent of this
enormous total went to the United
Kingdom. Even this large percentage,
however, is less than that of decade
ago, when Great Britain took over 20
per cent of the products of this char
acter passing out of the United States.
OF this $50 million dollars worth of
meats and dairy products Gncluding
food animals in this term) passing ou.
of the United States last year, 40 mil
lion dollars worth was live animals;
So millions lard; So millions, bacon;
% millions. fresh beef; 81 millions,
hams; IS millions, olemargarine; IA
millions, pork other than bacon ana
hams; AZ millions. butter; and 25s
millions, cheese.
!. OF the 80 million dollars worth of
live animals sent cut of the country
in the calendar year 1906, 3SA mil
lions was the value of cattle; of this
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-03-26
4i,uz layulirar 9larsaltu1un anluu, 5areI 26 1907

the potato business heavier than be-
fore. Dodd & Stevens, implement
dealers at Grundy Center, have so far
sold forty-five potato planters and ex-
pect to sell more. No such record by
half has ever before been made in one
county in the United States or the
world for that matter. This latest po-
tato planter promises wonders, in the
way of planting five to ten acres a
day, and as The present prospect is,
120O to 1900 acres of potatoes in
Grundy county in 1907. there is work
for them to do. The machine is oper-
ated by two men. the driver and the
machine feeder. The latter seated be-
hind the machine hands it the potatoes
into revolving cups. An ingenious
whirling knife cuts up the potatoes
into the right size, drops one piece at
a time into furrow made as the ma
chine goes on. this in drills which am
other pillow attachment covers UP about
five inches in depth. The machine
thus drills in the seed in rows three
or four feet apart according to the
notion of the farmer that plants them,
and gauges the machine to suit his
theories And Grundy county IS also
growing crowd of potato planting eX-
perts. They are finding out some
things. One is. it don't pay to plant
potatoes on the same land TOO many
wears in succession. Also that piowed
up clover fields raise good crops. When
1t comes to the question of fertilizers,
sowing rye to be plowed up next
spring for potatoes. hauling out barn
ward manure, blowing deep or shallow,
fall or spring blowing, then there's
difference of opinion.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-03-26
pma~->A
Iowa Newspapers
sstislssis
MHEN WE WERE BOWS.

(Bosley in the Chelsea independently
4 Speaking of duck hunting carries
our thoughts back to the days of our
boyhood when we did more duck hunt
ing and shot fewer ducks than any
other kid who ever owned up that he'd
rather take licking than wash his
neck every day
Our first shotgun was an old army
musket bored out--a muzzle loader -
with a recoil which would jar all crea'
ton clear from here to Christmas.
Wed shoot old Betsey three or four
and then in a day or two the teacher
would use our shoulder to illustrate t,
the class all the beautiful colors o..
the rainbow. Betsy surely was g
kicker.
And scatter Holy mackerel'
There never was another such an IN
strument in the world to scatter shot.
Anything in front of US within range
of Betsy was dead meat whenever W.
gritted our teeth, said our prayers and
pulled old mister trigger. We used to
NOV the lawn with that gun Load
her UP with half pound of powder.
six papers of pins, train 'er on the
lawn, pull the trigger and shed sweep
it as clean in second as ninety An
CORA goats could do it in a week.
Yes sir! No .joshing! Why, if we
had that old gun here we'd be willing
to bet four cigars that we could load
'er up with red paint and paint any
barn in this country in just four shots
no more. no less. And guarantee Il
good job. too.
oh, the glorious days Of youth!
Gone, they are, but not forgotten.
Along about this time of year we'd
crawl out of bed at o'clock string
our powder horn. and shot flask or.
put the old fashioned caps shaped like
a stove pipe hat in our pocket, grab
old Betsy and hike away. We'd walk
part way to the pond and then lay
down and crawl two miles and half
thru the mud on our-er-that is to
say at full length, in order to not
frighten the ducks. Sometimes there
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-03-26

large total the United Kingdom took
SO million dollars worth. and OF the
remainder Cuba took over / million
dollars worth; Belgium, nearly l mil
lion. and Canad. nearly one-half mil
lion dollars worth. OF the 5S million
dollars worth of lard, the largest single
item under the grouping of meats and
meat products, 90 million dollars worth
went to the United Kingdom; liz NILS
lions to Germany; millions to Meth
erlands a little less than millions to
Belgium; a little less than 8 millions
to Cuba, while the remainder went
chiefly to Mexico, Central and South
America, and the West Indies. OF the
So million dollars worth of bacon ex-
ported. 30 millions went to the United
Kingdom; a little over millions 10
Belgium; little less than / million
dollars worth to the Netherlands;
little less than | million dollars worth
to Germany, while the remainder was
widely scattered. OF the 81 million
dollars worth of hams exported, Is
millions went to the United Kingdom,
the remaining million dollars worth
being widely distributed. OF the 24sa
million dollars worth of fresh beef sent
out Of the country. 241s millions went
to the United Kingdom.
The trade between the farmers and
stock raisers of this country and the
meat consuming public of Great Brit
ain is profitable one. Why may not
German trade of the same kind be
cultivated by wise concessions?
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-03-26

were no ducks on the pond Not even
so much as a track on the water to
show that ducks had ever been there.
But it was fun anyhow. We wouldn
have missed it for a spotted pup.
Occasionally we would kill one. 1t
is perhaps we'll that this did not hap
pen frequently. 1t made so much
trouble for others. Naturally when
we'd bag duck we'd swell up real
dreadful. You remember how it was.
Well, the mayor would be obliged to
cali a special meeting of the council
and pass an ordinance extending the
city limits in order to make room for
US inside.
What makes us mad is that our boy
yours and mine - have things so
much better. so much more pleasant
than we had-you and l. When the
boys of today set out to massacre ducks
they don't start out with any old mus
ket, dc they? Well. we wot not! Not
any! Hammerless breech leaders.
rubber hip boots, shooting coats. etc.
You can easily remember all the ham
merless shotguns. hips boots. shooting
coats and so on you didn't have when
you were a kid, can't you? We can!
BY heck, it makes us so mad when we
think about it that we've got a darn
good notion to go back and do it all
over again.
In every way and in everything the
boys of today have things coming
easier than their daddys did. In the
matter of creature comforts consider
the difference. Take underclothing,
for one thing. When we-you and L
were boys, mother used to fit us out
with handmade underwear, fashioned
of Caption nannel-so thin fellow
could easily spit thru it. The boy
of today wears underclothes lined on
one side with fleece. on the other with
sheepskin, hairy side Sout and four
inches thick. Oh, tell you, fellows,iI
we didn't get no square deal And we
were good boys. too, wasn't we?
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1907-03-26
Do Not Crowd the Season.

The first warm days of spring bring
with them desire to get out and en-
joy the exhilirating air and sunshine.
Children that have been housed up all
winter are brought out and you wonder
where they all came from. The heavy
winter clothing is thrown aside and
many shed their flannels. Then cold
wave comes and people say that grip is
epidemic. Colds at this season are
even more dangerous than in mid-win-
ter. as there is much more danger of
pneumonia. Take Chamberlain's Cough
Remedy, however. and you will have
nothing to fear. 1t always cures, and
we have never known cold to result
in pneumonia when it was used. It is
pleasant and safe to take Children
like it. For sale by all druggists.