davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16
SEEK TO WIN SOLDIERS.
Russian Girls Risk Life for the Cause
of Liberty.

when the university opened last
autumn / started to work again
among the soldiers" said the young
woman. las you know. the reVolu-
tionists are at present working very
hard to win over the army, and one
of the means is to talk freedom d.
rectly to the soldiers. For this girls
have been found to be more effective
than men; the young peasant soldiers
are more willing to listen to girls.
and are far reader to protect them
from arrest. So all over Russia hun
dreds and hundreds of girls are now
nightly meeting with groups OF sol
diers, in working mems homes and in
barracks. To go into barracks and
talk revolution to the soldiers, hard
ly anything is SO dangerous-for the
girl caught is tried by court-martial
and in a day or two is executed
From Leroy SCOTS Interview with a
Russian Woman. in Everybody's.
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16
BABY WASTED TO SKELETON.
In Torments with Terrible Sores on
Face and Body-Tore at Flesh
Cured by Cutlcura.

my little son. when about year
and a half old began to have sores
come out on his face. They began to
come on his arms. then on other parts
of his body. and then one came on his
chest, worse than the others. At the
end of about a year and half of suf-
fering he grew SO bad had to tie his
hands in cloths at night to keep him
from scratching the sores and tearing
the flesh. He got to be mere skele-
ton and was hardly able to walk. l
sent to the drug store and got cake
of Cuticura Soap and box of Cuticura
Ointment, and at the end of about two
months the sores were all well. He
has never had any sores of any kind
since, and only for the Cuticura REM
edies my precious child would have
died from these terrible sores. l used
only one cake of Soap and about three
boxes of Ointment. Mrs. Egbert Shell
don. r. F. d. No. 1. Woodville. Conn.
April %. 1905"
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16
QUALITIES OF WIT AND HuMoR.
Alike, Yet in Many Ways Fundament.
ally Different.

Wit and humor are such elemental
fundamental things that it has always
been found difficult to analyze them,
says a writer in The Atlantic. Upon
some points. however, those who have
essayed this puzzling task agree. for
they all hold that wit is an intel
lectual, humor an emotional, quality;
that wit is perception of resem-
blance, and humor perception OF
contrast, of discrepancy, of incongru-
ity. The incongruity is that which
arises between the ideal and the fact,
between theory and practice, between
promise and performance; and per-
haps it might be added that it is al
ways or almost always a moral in
congruity. In the case both of wit
and humor there is also pleasurable
surprise, gentle shock, which ac-
companies our perception of the hith-
erto unsupported resemblance or in
congruity. A New England farmer
was once describing in the pres
ence of very humane person the
great age and debility of a horse that
he formerly owned and used. You
ought to have killed him." interrupt
ed the humane person Indignantly.
We'll" drawled the farmer I'VE did
almost"
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16
A REAL "Hoss" RACE.
Country Fair the Place to See It at
Its Best.

If you would see a horse strap
ped, booted, braced and geared to
the limit, you must seek such a
track as you see at the old-time
country fair. Here comes an awk-
ward fiea-bitten gray which never
went under $50 in his life. He is
hobbled and checked and goggled, and
hitched up sidewise, lengthwise and
crosswise until there is more har-
ness than horse. You wonder how
his driver ever got him into this rig
ging, and how he will get him out
again without cutting him free with
a jackknife. A farmer with a
gray beard and twinkling eye OBJ
serves to his neighbor:
Last time John Martin had that
plug out on the road i told him he
had the old cripple overloaded with
-aids-to-the-injured. Them straps
that was cal'lated to hoist up his
knees must ha' pulled too tight and
the critter was yanked clean off the
ground. What John was gettin'
ready for was race for flynn ma
chimes, not a boss trot."-From THE
Country Fair" by David Lansing. in
Outing
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16
GIVING HIM A CHANCE.
Surely Time for Hubby to Do Live.
ly Sidestep.

Mrs. Wilson's husband was often
Obliged to go to New York on bust
ness, and frequently did not reach his
home until the arrival of the midnight
train. Mrs. Wilson had been in the
habit of sleeping peacefully at these
times without fear. but a number OF
burglaries in the neighborhood during
one of her husbands trips to New
York had disturbed her calm.
On the night Of his return Mr.. VIII
son was stealing carefully up the
front stairs, as was his wont on such
occasions, so that his wife would not
be wakened, when he heard her voice,
high and strained:
II don't know whether you are my
husband or a burglar" came the ex-
cited tones. but ] am going to be on
the safe side and shoot. so If you are
Henry you'd better get out of the
way."-Youth's Companion.
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16
RHEUMATISM RECIPE
PREPARE SIMPLE HOMEMADE
MIXTURE YOURSELF.
Buy the Ingredients from Any Drug
gist in Your Town and Shake
Them In a Bottle to
Mix This.

A well-known authority on Rheu-
matism gives the readers of large
New York daily paper the following
valuable, yet simple and harmless
prescription, which any one can easily
prepare at home:
Fluid Extract Dandelion, one-half
ounce; compound Kargon, one ounce;
Compound Syrup Sarsaparilla. three
ounces.
Mix by shaking well in bottle, and
take a teaspoonful after each meal
and at bedtime.
He states that the ingredients can
be obtained from any good prescrip-
ton pharmacy at small cost. and be-
ing a vegetable extraction, are harm
less to take.
This pleasant mixture, If taken reg
ularly for few days. is said to over
come almost any case of Rheumatism.
The pain and swelling, If any. dimin-
ishes with each dose. until permanent
results are obtained, and without in
juring the stomach. While there are
many so-called rheumatism remedies.
patent medicines. etc, some of which
do give relief, few really give perma-
nent results, and the above will. no
doubt, be greatly appreciated by many
sufferers here at this time.
Inquiry at the drug stores of even
that these drugs are harmless and can
be bought separately. or the druggists
will mix the prescription If asked to.
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16

A hostler from the Blue Grass has
Just found employment in one of the
stables of New York man. His
darby dialect is so quaint and his
stories of "Ole Kaintuck" so unique
no member of the household misses
an opportunity to speak to him and
have him say word.
His employer said to him a few
days ago: Il suppose your mas
ter down south had a good many
horses?"
Dat we did. sab. dat we did, And
my ole master had EN- all name
Bible names. Faith, Hope and Char
ity. Bustle. Stays and Crinoline, was
all one Springs colts!"
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16
Willing Hands.

There is a good story going the
rounds in Pittsburg of young man,
formerly a stock-broker, who dropped
many thousands in speculation during
the early spring.
One night, shortly after going to
bed, the Pittsburger was awakened by
strange signs. At his first motion to
jump up he was greeted by a hoarse
voice. IF you stir, you're dead
mani" it said. I'm looking for mon
ey."
In that case" pleasantly answered
the erstwhile Spectator, kindly al
low me to arise and strike a light.
shall deem 1t a favor to be permitted
to assist in the search.
Weakly
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16

A little city boy and his sister Dor
othy were taken to the country for
the first time.
The two children were happy as
the day was long. In the late after
noon they watched the cows come
home, heard with delight the tink-
ling cow-bells, and the little boy
even went in the barns to see the
milking done.
At supper. Just as Dorothy was
: lifting her glass to her rosy lips, the
boy cried out:
oh, Dorothy, don't! You mustn't
drink that milk. It's not fit to drink.
1t came out of COW. l saw it,"
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16
ExcusabIe.

81 suppose" remarked the coy widow.
that you are an advocate OF early
marriages."
"Oh, yes. am" replied the scanty
haired bachelor.
Then" continued the C. w, why
is 1t you are still a bachelor?
That's quite another matter" an
swered the Bachelor. 1.-The only mar
riages I believe in are early ones. be-
cause there is some excuse for youth
full follies. Chicago News.
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16

The feature of most popular interest
In the September Century promises
TO be John GtImer Speeds discussion
of "Racing in Its Relation to Horse
breeding" Mr.. Speed holds that rae
ing is not entirely a business. 1t is
not merely gambling game, it is not
purely Il sport. nor is it conducted
simply to improve the breed OF
nor SEES; but 1t partakes Of all these at
once. ana the only evil those in con
. troll do not seem able to eliminate Is
gambling. The questions which Mr..
Speed takes mp Tor discussion are.
now does racing improve the breed
OF horses. and. is the Improvement
worth what 1t costs, and his conclu
sion is that. without racing, the
thoroughbred in this country would
soon become rarity.
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16
MAN Whose Memory Was Bad.

For more than an hour a witness
for the defense had lodged questions
His faulty memory was particularly
exasperating for the counsel for the
plaintiff who was seeking to recall
to the witness recollection an event
of four of five years previous. Event
ually the man remembered some
thing about it."
All" continued the lawyer for the
plaintiff, what id you think OF 1t
at the time?"
Really" said the witness, speak
ing before the lawyer for the defense
had time to interpose objection. 1t
vas so long ago l can't recall exactly
what | thought of it,"
We'll" shouted the cross-examin-
err, excitedly. III you can't recall, tell
us what you think now you thought
then"
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16

Laundry work at home would DO
much more satisfactory If the right
Starch were used. In order to get the
desired stiffness, it is usually neces-
sary to use SO much starch that the
beauty and fineness of the fabric Is
hidden behind a paste of varying
thickness, which not only destroys the
appearance, but also affects the wear
ing quality OF the goods. This trou'
BILE can he entirely overcome by using
Defiance Starch, as 1t can be applied
much more thinly because of its great
er strength than other makes.
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16

or course. not everybody is born beauti
full. but almost every woman i'm
prove het looks and complexion by
taking Meyers sulphur. Arsenic and
Iron Complexion Waters. It's the best
tonic and blood purifier. Produces rich.
red blood and clear healthy complex
ion. 25c and SOC. Sent by mail Mey-
er's. 2557 Humboldt ST. Denver.
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16

As an illustration OF the enthusiasm
with which golf is pursued by Its
yoiaries, the following anecdote Is told
OF a well-known Scotch author and a
Young friend of his: The two had
spent the whole day ON the links, and
had had some close and exciting
matches. AS they left for home the
elder man remarked:
DO yom think you could play to
morrow, ladder"
Well" answered the youth. Il was
to be married tomorrow. but | can put
IL uff"-l.iTe.
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16
His Kick.

A traveller putting up at small no.
tel out in California brought the porter
IN to his room with his angry storm
ing. ~.
Want your room changed. Sill ?
What is the tnatter?'
THE room is all right fumed the
guest scorchiugly. ITS the heas that
i object to. that's all "
mrs Hawkins!" shouted the porter,
In an uninterested sort OF a voice, the
gent in No Is satisfied with his room,
but he wants lie tieas changed -Har-
pcrs Weekly.
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16

spells. For ten years / could not do
housework, and for two years did not
get out of the house. The Kidney Sc
cretions were irregular, and doctors
were not helping me. Doan's Kidney
Pills brought me quick relief, and
finally cured me. They saved my life
Sold by all dealers. so cents box.
Foster illburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16
Two Reasons.

why does "a fellow on small sal
afy. like Suiallchink. dress SO extrava-
gantly?"
Hes afraid people will think he Is
poor
"And why does old millionaire Reg.
gercoine dress so stability"
Hes afraid people will think he Is
rich Puck.
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16
Deafness Cannot Be Cured

BY local applications IS they cannot reach the d.,
eased portion Of the ear There Is only way TO
cure deafness and that Is by constitutional remedies
Deafness Is caused by an innamed condition of The
mucous lining of the Eustachian Tube When this
tube 10 innsmed you have rumblins sound or I'm
perfect hearing and when It Il entirely closed Deaf
ness is the result unless the Inflammation can be
ont and tube restored to its normal condi
tlon hearing will be destroyed forever; nine cases
out Of ten are caused by Catsrrh. which Il nothing
but an indamed condition of the mucous surfaces
We will give One Hundred Dollars for any case o.
Deafness tcaused by catarrhl that cannot be cured
by Halls CatArrh Cure, send for eirenlar. free. a
y. J. CHENEY CO., Tolcdo, o
Sold by Druggists. sc.
Take Hairs Family Pills for constipation.
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16
Reason This Out.

An English quarryman was charged
with assaulting one of his mates, and
when the case was carried into court,
an eyewitness of the occurrence gave
some curious evidence.
He TUX a pick an he TUX pick"
the witness began, AN he hit him
wild his pick, an he hit him wild his
pick: an II he'd hit him wild his as
hard as he hit him wild his. he'd have
near killed him. and not him him
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16

II cannot help thinking of the won
derful thought displayed in your
daughters commencement essay last
june" Yes" answered Mr. Cumrox,
Judging from that essay, you would
think she was as much interested in
The Subservience of Individual Am
bition to Eternal Destiny. as she is
in ice cream soda. But she isn't"
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16

Starch, like everything else, is be-
ing constantly improved, the patent
Starches put on the market % years
ago are very different and inferior to
those of the present day. In the lat
est discovery--Defiance Starch-all in
furious chemicals are omitted. while
the addition of another ingredient, in
vented by us. gives to the Starch a
strength and smoothness never ap-
preached by other brands.
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16

Nus q bItdI 5EIIItIVI
from kidney trou-
bles. My back panied
me terribly. Every
turn or move caused
sharp, S h 90 II n &
pains. My eyesight
was poor, dark spots
appeared before me,
and l had dizzy
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16

"Old Amy. you know. who is famous
for being arrested, has been sent to
Jail again. But as she weighs nearly
300 pounds and is good fighter. it
took nearly all the reserve force to get
her in the wagon"
Then the magistrate who sent her
to Jail ought to be arrested, too"
why so?"
Didn't he commit big Amy?"-Bal-
timore American.
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16

To prevent that tired feeling on
ironing day-Use Defiance Starch
saves time-saves labor-saves annoy
ance, will not stick to the iron. The
big 16 OF. package for 1Oc. at your
grocer's.
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16

BY following the directions. which
are plainly printe1 on each package OF
Defiance Starch, Mems Collars and
Cuffs can be made Just as stif as de-
sired, with either gloss or domestic
finish. Try it, 16 OF. for 10c, sold by
all good grocers.
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16

According to German physician,
DR.. Horn, miners age so rapidly be-
cause of their unhygienic surround
ings that they present all the aspects
of senile decay at the age OF 80. be-
yond which few are able to ply their
vocation.
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16

Berlin's patrolmen are one to $40.
Liverpool's are one to 449, London's
one to 1876, and Philadelphia has one
patrolman for every 511 citizens. On
Manhattan island there is but one
policeman to every CAB inhabitants.
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16
To stop Flow of Blood.

To stop the flow Of blood bind the
wound with cobwebs and brown sugar
pressed on like lint or with fine dust
of tea. When the blood ceases to how
apply laudanum.
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16

It's easy to understand why SO few
of us have money. Those who know.
how to make it don't know how to
keep 1t, and those who can keep 1t
can't get it, and that's the only reason
why they can't keep it.
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16

He is great who confers the most
benefits. He is base-and that is the
one base thing in the universe-to re-
ceive favors and render none.-Emer-
son.
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16

There is a tradition in Germany
that it was customary in the Middle
Ages to put an elderberry plant over
buried treasure. A farmer at Gels
dorf while blowing close to such a
bush unearthed vessel containing
1900 silver coins of the eleventh cen
fIru
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16

Lightning in Town and Country.
Lightning is most destructive in
level, open country. Cities, with their
numerous projections and wires, are
comparatively exempt
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16
TEN YEARS OF PAIN.
Unable to Do Even Housework Be-
cause of Kidney Troubles.

Mrs. Margaret Emmerich, of Clin-
ton St, Napoleon, o., says: For
fifteen years | was great sufferer
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16

Finishing is the hardest part of a
lazy mans job.
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16

With smooth iron and Denance
Starch. you can launder your shirt
waist just as well at home as the
steam laundry can; it will have the
proper stiffness and finish, there will
be less wear and tear of the goods.
and it will be positive pleasure to
use Starch that does not stick to the
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16

Examine carefully every bottle Of CAsToRIA,
safe and sure remedy for infants and children,
and see that II
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16
ALvE0LAR OENILSIRY

A distinct advance In Dental Science.
Loose and falling teeth saved. Pyor-
rhca and all diseases of the gums cured
Missing teeth replaced without plates
or bridgework Booklet Free. The Rex
Dental Co. Suites 20-25. 72s 10th st.
Denver Colorado
The Lamar register., 1907-10-16

1":'
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-08-18
BY +. P. dunno.

They weren't charged with poverty, Nv
coorsc, but witt! the results " poverty.
dye mind. Now, be hivins. tn rich
have invaded even tn coorts an the
bridewell Nanny a face wearn side
Iwhiskers an goold trimmed specs peers
+ firm TIL windows iy tn black Maria.
What's this man charged With? says
thu coort. He was found In possession
Nv tin mlllyon dollars says TIL polis-
man. An tn judge puts on tn black
cap"
"Well," said Mr.. Hennessy "tis time
they got what was comm to thin.
"I'll not say ye're wrong" said Mr..
Dooley. ~ see tn way me frind Jawn
ID. feels about it. He thinks he's dom
a great sarvice to tn wurruld collect
in' all TIL money in sight 1t might
Ereman in incompetint hands IL he
didn't get it. 'Twud be a shame to
tlaye 1t where it'd be misthreated. But
tn on'y throuble with Jawn is that
he don't see how tn other fellow feels
about 1t. AS father ~ about thirty
dollars i want to bring thin up mesilf
1 In me own foolish way. l may not do
whats right be thin, may he too
lindulgent with thin. Their home life
may not be happy. Perhaps It's clear
I.that II they whit to tn Rockyfellar
institution f'r TIL care " money they'd
lbe In bettler surroundings, but Whin
dawn thries to carry thin off raise
| a cry ~ Polls a mob iv people that
Iniver had dollar ~ their owl, and
niver will have wan pounce on TIL
misguided man. tn pois pinch him, an
TIL government condemns tn institution
Ian lets out til inmates am good
Imnnny iv thin go to tn bad. .s1i
Dye think hell liver sarye out his
Ihne?" asked Mr., Hennessy.
II don't know" said Mr.. pooley
IiBut II he does. whin he comes out al
1.-THE and iy a hundred an tifty-eight
Thousand years. he'll find q great
|manny changes in mems hats an tn
means " transportation, but not much
In anything else. He may find iiyln
machines, though tin he arly III thin
hut he'll see q good nanny people still
walking TO their wurlNk,''
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-08-18

happen to have that amount with him
at til, moment or at amy moment
since nh day he was born. But tn
Judge was very lenicnt with him. Fle
said he needn't pay II he cudden't.
TIL coort wud give him letther OF
inthroduction to tn brldeWell an he
Icud stay there f'r two hundred days.
AT that rate it'll be long time be-
fure lawn ID. an me meet again on
the goluf-links. Hogan has 1T inquired
out that IL lawn d. refuses to so back
on his Puritan principles an separate
himslf from his money he'll be wan
|hundherd an ghtsthousandryear
in cold storage. A man ought to he,
pretty good at tn lock- step In nun
dherd an hfty-elght thousand years.
"Well. sir, glory be but times has
changed whin they land me great an
good frind with a fine that's about akel
to three millyon dhrunk an disorderly
cases. 'Twud'vo been cheaper II he'd
took to drink arly In life. I've made
a vow. Hinnissy, nlver to be very rich
I'd like to be a little rich, but not,
rich enough FIR annywan to notice that
me pockets, bulged, Timeswas whin
ldhreamed ~ havin money'an' lots ivit,
TITS thrue l hegun me dlreams at TIL
IMEOuH GIN. y SVClAl w aAbto''SJs AA'SN
In mo dhreams an thin I got II. was
always clear about tn way to spend II
but Uncertain about TIL way to get IT.
III TIL, Lord had Slntindea me to be n
rich man Hedve turned me dhreams
around an made me clear about maxim
tn money but very awkward an shy
about gettin rid ~ It.. There are two
halves to ivry dollar. Wan is KNOWN
how to make 1t an TIL other Is not
Iknowin' how to spend IT comfortably,
Win near Nv o man with gr-reat
business capacity know he's got an
lakel amount ~ spending incapacity,
No matther how much ho knew about
business he wudden't be rich II he
wasn't totally ignorant. ~ science
lthat we have developed as far as our
means will allow, But now, tell We,
| I don't dhream Nv bein' rich. Im2nfraid
liv 1t, lin TIL good old days tn polls
coorts We're crowded With tn poor,
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1907-08-18
Mr.. Dooley on the Big I ne

lars in millyon- dollar bills an TIL other
i1niityou In ciiichen-fesd like ten thou
sand dollar bills, just to annoy tn
clerk. But ought to've known Dat
ther. Alanny's tn time I've bent me
proud neck to a decision Nv a coorl
that lasted no longer thin 1t took tn
LAWYER FIR tn de1inse to call up another
Judge on tn tillyphone. a judge listens
to case f'r days an hears, Mnlle@ ne
flgurin possible golut score on MS
blotting pad. TIL argymints ~ two OF
three lawyers that no wan wud dare
to offer a judgeshlp to. Glnlrally
speaking, judges are lawyers.
..They get to be judges because they
have what Hogan calls tn Jood1cyal
timperamint which is why anybody
gets Job. TIL other kind iys people
woH,t take a job. They'd rather take
a chance. TIL judge listens to case
FIR days an decides 1t tn way he In.
stinded to. Dye find tn larned counsel
that's just been beat climin' up on TIL
bench an throwin' his arms around tn
Judge? Ye bet We don't He gathers
his law books into his arms, gives TIL
look that means, There's
an ELECTION next year an runs down TIL
hall TO another Judge. TIL other Judge
hears his kick an says he: i don't
know anything about this here case
exec p what syeve whispered to me, but
/ know me slarned colleague an l .wud-
dent thrust him to referee Il roller
shatin' contest. Don't pay TIL fine till
ye hear firm me- TIL on'y wan TINT
bows to til decision is tn fellow that
lost an, pretty soon he sees he's made
a mistake, f'r wan day tn other coort
comes out an declares that tn de-
foision Of thu lower coort is another
|argymht in favor " abolishing night
law schools.
That's tn. way Jawn d, felt about
AT, an he didn't settle. wondher will
they put him away II he don't pay
Iivinchooly? Twill be a long sentence.
"A frind Nv mine wanst got full ~
Kerosene an ATTEMPTED to 1nggle a 3po-
Ilisman, They thried him, whin he
come out Nv TIN emergency. hospital an
tined him a hundred dollars, He didn't