davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.

from the Philadelphia Record.1
The doctor usually speaks i'll of his
patients.
News is not always as yellow as it is
printed.
Children's night dresses are often
bawl gowns.
Disagreeable people don't always live
in the cross streets.
When business Is good the clock
maker puts on more hands.
Burglars are not the only people who
take things for granted.
A mans dollars don't always make
up for his lack of common sense.
There are lots of things besides hap
piness that money won't buy-manners,
for instance.
Hoax-'How did he get that scar
Joax-"In a boiler explosion" Hoax
"a mark of esteem, eh?"
No, Mamie, dear; the fellow with an
impediment in his speech shouldn't go
to a speak-easy to be cured.
Blobbs-"That temperance lecturer
says he used to be a prize-fighter."
Slobbs-"Ah! an ex-pounder, eh?"
Wigg-"He married her for her mon
ey and she does nothing but jaw him."
Wagg-"Well, dare say he has found
out that money talks"
Blobbs-"I never know how to take
that fellow Borem." Slobbs-"Well, it's
a pretty good plan to take him like
bottle of medicine-shake before TAX
ing
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10
JOURNAL ENTRIES

A Michigan clergyman has attacked
the Teddy bear on the ground that it
destroys the instinct of motherhood -
Isn't the Michigan man hard up for
something to attack?
X y
kissing games are to be tabooed in
the Philadelphia public schools. And
yet educators claim they are trying to
make our public school system more
attractive.
X
Having observed how ruthlessly he
plucks them out when occasion de-
mands, this department fears that
Governor Hoch's fGur weeks on the
lecture platform is liable to be pretty
tough on the flowers in the conserva-
tory of his soul.
X y
This department is glad to note that
another electric line is to be built be-
tween Arkansas City and Winfield.
Almost as many electric lines are built
between those points as are laid be-
tween Topeka and Kansas City, but
everybody continues to ride on the
steam cars, just the same.
X X ~
We trust Japan will give San Fran
cisco due credit for sending Schmitz to
prison for five years.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10
A COMPARISON.

The progress that has been made on
these western prairies OF ours is en-
phasized by a brief item in the Jewell
Republican. Judge ]. c. Postlethwaite,
of that town. has recently purchased
for himself a new touring car, and he
took the editor of the Republican out
to help him break it in" THE
judge" comments the editor. former
ly drove a yoke of oxen in Jewell
county when he went anywhere"
From oxen to automobile is typical
of the advancement Kansas has made
in a comparatively few years But
there are other things that are typical,
too. In the oxen days. which were
only the yesterdays of that region,
many, If not most of the settlers of
Jewell county lived in sod houses with
sod roofs, and some of them with sod
floors. Now it is different
During the automobile ride made
by Judge Postlethwaite and the editor
of the Republican. they stopped at the
home of c. A. Shinn. Jewell county
farmer Mr.. Shinn is one of the pro-
gressive sort of farmers. He was in
strumental in securing the first rural
delivery mail route and also in build
ing the first farmers telephone line in
that section of the state. That was less
than a decade ago, yet now every
farmer in the county receives his mail
at his door, while a large per cent of
the farm homes have telephones and
are connected with all the surrounding
towns.
Nor is that all. "Mr. Shinn," says
the editor, ''also has a complete cleo
trio lighting system for his house and
barn; his kitchen range is run with fuel
oil which costs only half as much as
coal. He can have a low fire. or a
hot fire. or no fire at all, the
change from one to the other being
made as quickly as you can turn on
or shut off the oil. Mr.. Shinn has hot
and cold water. hard and soft water on
tap in his house. There is a fine
piano in the parlor and his center
table is crowded with the latest maya
zines and papers. He has a govern
ment barometer and rain gauge, and
many other things you would not ex-
pect to find on a Kansas farm Among
other things that attract attention of
the passersby is a flock of gay pea
cocks"
From oxen to automobiles; from sod
houses to modern homes, with their
own electric systems. hot and cold
water, pianos, and all modern COM
forts-these things spell the progress
Of the Kansas prairies in three decades.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10
THE WAY TO GET THERE.


If you chance to lose your grip
some dark day young Teller,
DON'T parade a droopin' lip,
Nor begin to heller;
jest spit on yer hands, my son,
An fresh trail foller:
run the race you've got to run
Don't lie down an boiler!
Grab fresh hold: don't you quit.
Cause you've made one blunder;
NO use squealing cause yer bit
you're the dog 'twuz under,
Jest put up a sassy fight,
An I'll bet dollar
That you're goin' to come out right
Don't lie down an holler!
Yelpin' never done no good.
When yer troubles thicken
Do as any scrapper would
Don't you play the chicken;
Roll yer sleeves UP good an high
Toss aside yer collar;
Simply say you'll do or die
Don't lie down and boiler!
Buckle in fer all yer worth;
Show folks you amt dairy;
Prove they's one cuss on this earth
Who amt filled on taffy.
If you're sinner or a saint,
Blockhead or a scholar
Listen to this timely plant:
Don't lie down and holfer!
Set yer teeth and show yer sand,
pose you chance to tumble:
That's the time to play yer hand.
Tain't no use to grumble.
If yer out to win name,
Or to win the dollar,
Here's the way to bag the game
Don't lie down and holleri
Los Angeles Express.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10
The Twenty-one Rule.

Old Jacob Weatherly is a man of e,x-
treme regularity, and, on the principle
that early to bed etc. is the, best
guiding rule for a household, he in
sists that every one un Ter his roof and
authority shall retire at $3.50. AS may
be readily understood, this rule some
times proves irksome to the younger
members of the famliy-especiully
Charles.
Recently. however, Charles reached
mans estate, and on his birthday Ja-
cob gave him his blessing.
"I have no longer any authority over
you," he said; now that you are Fl
you must act as pleases you best"
On the following Saturday evening,
therefore, Charles returned home at
11:15 p. M, and raped at the door.
who's that?" said Jacob, from the
window.
Charles" replied his son.
But why do come home at this hour?
Don't you know we lock up az 9:30:''
Yes" demonstrated the youth; but
I'm gone Fl now, and can do as
please
quite So" said the old man: "Lut
so can l." And the window went down
with a bang, and Charles was left to
face the dark fact that II worked two
ways.-Philadelphia Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10
GLOBE SIGHTS.
[From the Atchison Globe. !

from the Atchison Globe.1
If you want to char a lot of reasons,
talk to the man who was discharged.
When a man is on time himself, he
usually finds that the other man is late.
Nearly everyone notices that other
people take very poor care of their
health.
At every succeeding Fourth of July
celebration there are fewer flags and
more noise
How we men are abused: And we
deserve a good deal of it, dog gone our
fool pictures.
There are all kinds of women except
one who won't become enthusiastic over
a baby.
An Atchison woman was too fat, so
she bought a corset that cost $3.50 and
now has a fairy form.
We have noticed this on the Fourth
of July: the bigger the boy, the bigger
the firecracker he uses.
The average man is always a little
surprised to hear of anyone making
success in the show business.
At a concert, how long the bad selec-
lions arel And how the rival musicians
keep their noises in the air!
When a man wears a union suit, he
is as sure to mention it as when he
takes a cold bath every morning.
The farmer who milks good many
cows bellows the acme OF shiftlessness
is allowing the calves to perform this
chore
what has become of the old-fashion-
ed woman who hung up a branch of
asparagus in her house for the flies to
light on?
How set" old people are in their
ways! If an elderly person should De
asked to change his seat at the table
how it would rattle him!
A harvest hand in town yesterday was
telling how they work. I'VE work nine
hour shifts" he said. land everybody
works two shifts a day"
When we were boy, we shot off all
our firecrackers by O'Clock in the
in watching the rich boys shoot off
some years a linen suit grows longer
at the legs and arms every time 1t is
washed; and some years 1t grows short
er at the arms and legs every time it is
washed.
When a married man goes anywhere
without his wife, people ask him:
Where is your wife?'' When a farmer
comes to town during the wheat harvest,
people ask him: What are you doing In
town."
None of us seem to properly appreci-
ate the fact that others dcspise what we
are fond of. When man belongs to a
lodge, what contempt he has for man
who doesn't belongI And how foolish his
contempt isl
1t is fool trick for a boy to come
home from school wearing his uniform.
But many boys do 1t; there are so many
fool tricks that boys can't avoid all OF
them. A college boy showed up at For
est park yesterday wearing his college
uniform. The pants were too long, and
the clothes didn't fit him anywhere, and
wherever he went, he was guyed. Still,
that boy had thought, and thought. and
thought, and concluded he would create
q sensation by wearing his college uni
form. He did create sensation, but 1t
wasn't the kind he expected.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10
HUMOR OF THE DRY

I'm going to put fender on the front
of my runabout:'
so you won't run over some one?
Nope So it won't hurt the radiator
when I do."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
old colored deacon. Didn't tell you ter
fight 20 way only wild de sword or de
,fYes, suh," replied the penitent, but de
razor come so handy!'-Atlanta Constitu-
titon.
Paddock-Marks now has system Tor
PiayferNHow does it work.
acknowledgements; Any day before go
ing t., the track he knows to a cent the
most he can possibly loSe.-Puck
How far are we from Chicago7" asks
the the Conductor as that efficiai passes him:
Three wrecks, one displaced switch and
tening on, lighting his red lantern as he
goes.-Ltfe.
Clara-You may not believe it, but I
said NO to seven different men during
Maude-Oh' 1 don't doubt it, What were
they selling?-Chicago Daily News
Miss Elderleigh-Jane Jones is mean,
Miss Younger-what's the matter?
Miss Eder e1sn tod M hsf tSat amy
she asked me If was seasick-Cleveland
Leader.
simkins-Are you going to take a vaca-
ton this SUMMER
Timpkins-Yes, think So. I have al
most recovered from the effects of the
one I took last summer.-Chicago Daily
News.
Does your husband want a job. Mrs.
McGuire?' -
mo, but If you've got one for him III
make him take it."-Judge.
rs he man who uses good tuds-
TExcelIent. But he always puts it to
use about a day too late. "-Milwaukee
Sentinel.
Mrs Knicker-I see there is a green
moray down at the Aquarium.
Mrs. Bocker-Well. I've had Swedes
Germans, Irish, Hungarians and Italians,
so might as well try this one.-Harper'
Bazaar
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10
A Scientific Opinion.

There is a certain cooking school in
the loop district where every day in the
week large classes of girls convene for
instruction in tn gntle art Of raising the
dough.
Last week a class of thirty rather i'm
practical girls, as most of them are, was
studying the doughnut scientifically.
One of the dullest pupils in the class,
who never could learn to boil water
without burning it, was rather inatten-
tive while sthe teacher was lecturing
on "sinkers.''
Thinking to catch her and administer
a rebuke on hery intention, the teacher
suddenly br BIKE off and asked: Miss
Smith, what is the healthiest part of the
doughnut?"
Miss Smith Strengthened up, flushed
up. stood up and replied: 'Why-why.
the hole, 1 believe."-Chicago Record
Herald
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS.
HOME NEWS WHILE AWAY.

Subscribers OF the State Journal
away during the summer may have
the paper mailed regularly each day
a. any address ut the rate OF ten cents
a week or thirty cents Il month icy
mail only. Address changed As often
as desired. White out OF town the
State Journal will be 10 Won like n
daily letter from home.
Advance payment is requested on
these short time subscriptions, TO save
bookkeeping expose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
[From the New York Press.1

A man has a good temper when he
only thinks his swear words.
A widow is awful clever to want men
to teach her things she knows better
than they do
When a woman wants to get married
because she has no Illusions about 1t
she's a widow.
There is hardly anything so exciting
to girl as to wonder if the man in
tn. seat in front of her in a railway
car has light or dark eyes.
If a woman could use Cancelled post
age stamps over again for some sort of
preserves she would think she was the
best housekeeper in the world.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10

they should remember the fact that
Great Britain owns more land in North
America than the United States"
But 10000 square miles of some of it
isn't worth as much as a garden patch
in Kansas. There is the Labrador
coast, and the barren lands west and
northwest of Hudson's Bay, for in
stance.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10

The Osborne Farmer objects to the
Kansas City Stars crediting D. Y.
Wilson to the Sixth district for the
reason that that the Sixth has not Of
fees enough to satisfy D. B. Dyer. let
alone Mr.. Wilson. But since Colonel
Dyer has reformed, and Wilson has
moved to Oklahoma. the demand for
ofices up that way ought to be greatly
Iessened
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10

Henry Allen says Stubs support for
the nomination for governor comes
from two classes-those who want
him elected governor and those who
want to see how he will run. Mr..
Allen does not state to which class he
belongs, but 1t is suspected that when
Mr.. Stubs gets well started the Wich-
lta Beacon won't be on the coaching
lines.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10

perhaps" says a Colorado exchange,
s'the best that can be hoped for from
the Boise trial is divided jury, but
the prosecution will at least have the
satisfaction of having shown up the
western. Federation in it's true light"
ALSO the Colorado mine owners have a
true light or two thrown on them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10

Isn't 1t something of an object les
son to us Americans that no reports
come from Japan telling of the mis-
treatment OF Americans over there,
such as has been accorded Japanese in
San Francisco?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10

That the "unwhipped mob in San
Francisco prefers to stay unwhipped is
indicated by the fact that the threaten
ing letters General Funston receives
because of his now famous utterance,
are ANONYMOUS
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10

The Wichita Beacon asserts that W
J. Bailey ais probably the most popu-
lar private citizen of the state" Why
qualify the statement with the adJec-
tive "private?"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10

If England were as touchy as some
of those Japanese jingoes, we would
be in trouble all the time over some
of the things that are said in the
Fourth of July orations that nobody
IfetAnS IN
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10

Since Clarence barrow is doing such
an able job in defending Undesirable
Citizen Haywood at Boise, perhaps I'm
desirable Citizen Hartman will be glad
TO give him a job as soon as he is at
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10

1t is shown In a court case that
slim" Fike, of Colby. sold a piece of
real estate for $500 when the price
asked by the owner was only $4,000.
Which indicates that Mr.. Fike is a
pretty good real estate agent as well
as politician.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10

Since no new reforms have been
started in the vicinity Of Oyster Bay
for a week. there is a suspicion that
President Roosevelt is loafing. after
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10
DODGING THE LAW.

While some people are studying the
science of disappearing, John D. Rookie
feiler mas become so numerous that he
Is reported from two places at once
Philadelphia Inquirer
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10

The newspapers are referring to the
Haywood trial as about over" al
though the end is still more than two
weeks off. 1t is about over" only
relatively.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10

Gustave Meyer. an astrologer. writes
to the New York Herald, predicting
snow storm in July. Will Mr.. Meyer
kindly hasten his snow storm along?-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10

To the plain, plug citizen on foot, it
looks as though Jake Sheppard thus
far has the best of it in his letter
writing contest with the board of rail-
road commissioners.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10
IMPROVEMENTS

A new bolt has been put in a switch
at Alton. We just knew the new state
board of railroad commissioners
would iriaugurates some radical re-
forms, but didn't expect anything so
drastic.-Osborne Farmer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10

Senator Tillman got mad up in
Michigan and challenged Senator Dol
liver to fight a duel. Must be that
Ti1lman's supply of advertising has
been running low lately.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10
ANOTHER REASON.

Topeka booze sales reported by the
drug stores were only about 900 in
June as compared to $1,000 in May.
The State Journal thinks this is due
to the fact that June has one day less
than May. It may also be partly due
to June having five Sundays while
May had but four although the drug
stores of Topeka pay mighty little at
tention to the Sabbath.-Lawrence
World.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10

6chmftz announces that he will run
again for mayor of San Francisco, but
his quarters in San Quentin prison for
the next five years will be rather mar
row for running purposes.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10
KANSAS COMNENT
AN AVERAGE YIELD.

When man speaks of the saver
age wheat yield in Clay county, it
means little or much as a rule, de-
pending on speaker and listener AS
a matter of fact, in twenty harvests
last past Clay saved 11,46O,S52 BUSH
els This was raised on 780,011 acres.
Dividing acreage by yield gives so
close to 14.7 that 1t is safe to say that
it is the average Clay county product.
whenever the word average is used
14-7 should be understood here in
Clay. Above or below is abnormal.
The man who raises 25 bushels to the
acre is as far out of line, speaking
mathematically, and speaking in full
understanding of the inexorable law
OF averages, as is the man who raises
4. Clay Is going to harvest very nearly
an average crop in the year of our
Lord 1907: His name be praised
Clay Center Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10

What would Huckleberry Finn think
If he could see Mark Twain hobnob-
bling with King Edward?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10

The New York Society for the Pre-
vention of Useless Noises evidently
does not cut much ice during the early
part of July.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10
WHY THEY DON'T GO.

Europe this year than usual. They
don't like to go over and admit that
their wheat crop is not the biggest
they have ever Observation-Disclosures
Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10
PISTOL TOTERS.

Ceremonies at the laying of a cor
ner stone the other day disclosed the
fact that President Roosevelt totes
gun. Still, for all we know, Mr..
and a dirk-Richmond Tim es-Dis-
patch
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10
IMMENsEIv R1cu

]. P. Morgan is dickering for a $3,000,-
600 art collection. He can afford 1t. He
could buy a quarter of beef IL he liked.
Nashville American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10
MEANS AUTOMOBILES.

1.-The wheat crop is the vehicle of
our prosperity" says a Kansas ex-
change. Translated into plain United
States this means that dollar wheat
will soon enable all the farmers to buy
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES Mercury.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10

when the people of the United
States get to thinking they are the
whole thing" says a Kansas exchange,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10
HOKE SMITHS PROGRAM.

Hoke Smiths defense of his disfran-
chisement plan is of the characteristic
shallowness that marks the man who
is deliberately SHINING against the light.
Not the slightest harm has come to
Georgia or is coming because negroes
vote there today, but they are to be tax
ed without representation and governed
without a voice in their government
hereafter as soon as the legislature can
bring this about.-New York Evening
Post
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-07-10
STATES EVIDENCE.

We recall that in 1894 when the Re-
pupncans We're trying to win Kansas
back from Populist control and were
not FEELING in easy financial condition.
Burton went to New York and obtain
ed generous contributions. Then, the
state and legislature carried by the Re-
publ1cans, Burton, as a candidate for
the senate, set up special claims for
consideration and support, emphasizing
that he had been chiefly instrumental
in securing said funds. Now the chas-
tened Abilene man, assuming the role
OF a repentant and reformer, is turn
Ing states evidence.''-Wilson County
Citizen.