The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1907-08-13

EAIu4ky ana IiN Pgt4 - 80
Of a commission TO cross the Atlantic
Ocear. and convince Great Britain
tina Is To ! was sound nnancc, n
beg the Bank OF England to go in for
it. Up to that time l had COMPOUNDED
Fairbanks with a Mr.. Ffshback, a real
lawyer Of indianapolis, and I went to
the Senate TO hear a real speech. It
was not for a year hat I found out
my mistake. / have heard 10000
speeches on the silver question. ! do
not row recall a poorer one thar
Fairbanks.
Beyeridge is a transcendentalist.
with a little more patriotism than
the law allows, but he Is no hypo-
critic, though he belongs to a party
that has a practical monopoly Of that
~deprav.ty. The princess dOWager, the
mother of George III, was not more
anxious that her son be King than
Beverage is determined to be q states
man, and George was a better King
h a Beveridge is a statesman. George
very nearly ruined his realm by his
Kingship: Beveridge would entirely
ruin his country by his statesmanship
if he had swing as full as George was
allowed to have.
He is an indefatigable man, and
works without ceasing. He went en-
tirely around the globe for material
for a single speech-that on the Phil
ipplnes. In the Wilderness of language
that Grafton is made Of it IS possible
to find a passage here and q sentence
there hat sounds like Ralph Waldo
Emerson. Then you bump up against
something that reminds you Of George
Francis Train. The central idea is
that the American Union is as hot as
Topnet, and they as would not get
scorChed would better give us room.
1t was delivered about the time our
fried-meat statesmen first discovered
tha% -~ 1911
we were eve before Major General
Andy bullied France over the
spoliation claims. We had just licked
poor cid Spain for the sake OF a set Of
contemplate camps in Cuba and had
acquired by mingled %nques and
purchase the Philippine Archipelago.
h question Mr.. Beverage was de-
batting was the altruism Of power, the
duty of patriotism, and the wisdom OF
imperialism. I confess that there was
little Of it that I understood: but there
is no doubt that it served the purpose
Of making Beveridge the fancy states
man of the day and a lion In the
salon of Mistress Leo Hunter We
know he was eloquent: we hoped that
he was wise. III speech was widely
circulated. There was a Beverage
Presidential boom. Young America
came to Washington; not the young
America of Stephen A. Douglas, that
had nothing particular agin slavery
In Mississippi, but the young America
Of Mark Hanna, that clinched slavery
in the Philippine islands. For slaves
they are ruled by masters $4,000 miles
away.
And now Beverage was a leader
of the senate, and. next to Mark
Hanna, the most pointed out man on
the floor. He was a very busy man.
before Chautauquax all over the
country. Words, words, words.
oceans and ceans of language, Not
enc scintillating thought, not one atom
CT humor. Everything profound and
the despair of all the normal school
cadets between the two oceans, was
wrestled with and their name is null
titudnous
When 7 was a lad just emerging
from childhood, my father put in
my hands The Arabian Nights En-
t tearct5a and therein I e 2
monarch, who had three sons. all in
love with the same girl, a princess Of
those parts and beautiful as becomes
a princess. The king vas at a loss
to decide between them and appealed
to chance. He sent them out in the
world for a year and a day and upon
their return he that had fetched back
the most wonderful thing was to have
the girl When the time was up the
three met and compared notes. One
t1lloN hCNp q l ~ lIicII NoOlu u dlTSpoIt
one sitting on it to any part of the
earth's surface desired and do it in
the twinkling of an eye. Another
had secured a magic crystal, which
put to the eve would discover your
friends anywhere in the world and
The third a an apple. which put
to the nose of any one sick. would
restore him to perfect health. Tt
was suggested that they take a look
% 1T. --IsI III
and found that she was just about
to expire of some fell malady. I'M
mediateIv they got aboard the carpet
and We're transported to the sick
chamber. The apple was put to the
girls nose and she bounced up rosy
and buxom entirely recovered.
Beveridge' thinks the Constitution
Of the United states can be trotted
through ell those stunts-carry you
what you wish to see, and do for you
what YOU wish to do. Is q thing de-
sirable? Put the Constitution to it
and the thing is done. In his
philosophy. whatever is expedient is
constitutional. It is q wonderful in
strument that can be confined within
my lady's thimb1e, or stretahe GO from
pole to pole. from Orient TO Occident,
For example, child labor in tie
merce and send the Constitution to
eradicate 1t. That is absolutism. If
the Federal establishment is clothed
with that power-the power to define
production, to be commercials
power is unlimited. and may be re-
sorted to to turn water into wine or
perform any other miracle 1t has the
whim to attempt. The heresy Of
the child labor bill is that it works
2 destruction of the States reduces
them to the place the counties now
occupy.
The misery of it is that the leader
of the Democratic party has indorsed
the chflG labor law, proposed by
Peveridge. The curious thing is tina
the ablest argument against it was
made by a Republican senator from
Pennsylvania.
There is a victory for the Demo-
cratic party in two issues. If the party
were free to chooSe-States' rights
and honest tariff.
VANCE'S WIT AND HUNOR.