Waterbury evening Democrat., 1907-01-11

got kinder scarce arOun' tn joint so, one night, says to Mag I'm goin' to duck out an see what's doin'' an took hike down to the Bow'ry.
 T wuz sneakin' along when, all of a sudden, runs into Marble Mary just out from tree months trip to tn islam. Mary she hooks into me an, wen tells her me bad luck. she puts me wise to new lay that she says is a peach an winner On de way home I lays me plans to try 1t out nex' day. Now dis is kind of a particular job so calls on all ne frien's fer help.
 One lends me a swell lid she's swiped somewhere, another hands me a dress fer Mag an finally, we're bot fixed up like duchesses and ready fer parade.
 Den I gets out a new shiny hand bag, dat I copped from somebody or other. and packs 1t full O paper until 1t looked like tn property of Mrs. Van Astor.
 "Wid dat in me mitt, me and Mag hits de pike fer down town. We wuzn't aimin' fer no cheap joint, neither. but fer Wanacooper's, tn swellest place in town. Course, we didn't know w'ether We could get in or not, but a faint heart ain't produc. tive of anything to eat an anyhow we couldn't do no more than get trowed out.
 Well, luck was wid us. fer dey was a big sale goin' on an tn bubbles an carriages was lined up fer half mile, an swells goin' in an out like bees in hive. Me an Mag waited bit an then slid in wid tn mob and nobody said word.
 We wandered around a while, keep in an eye open fer the store cop, and finally spots me meat-a big fat woman wid her hands covered wid sparklers an a juicy lookin' grip in her hand that I fingered ought to be good fer a couple of hundred anyway.
 "The fat one she wandered around and around. wid me and Mag on de trail, lookin' careless but jest waitin' fer a chance to get busy wit tn va lise. Finally, she stops at the glove counter an sets down to look 'em over.
 T gives Mag tn wink an den sides in aside her and plunks me hand cage down by hers. Say. but she trowed me a frosty face. and it was all I could do to keep from laughin'. felt SO good.
 Says l to the pink complicated doll behin' the counter. show me some 50 cent mitts please and, jest as she was toinin' Mag got busy and trun a fit.
 Well gay, my fat frien' she jest give one screech an turned aroun' to see what was goin' on. While she and everyone else was rubberin' l grabbed her cash box. leavin' mine there in place of it. an walked away. Mag was still a hollerin' an SO was ev-rybody else as near as 1 could make out. Peo- pie was q runnin' ev'ry which way an. in the rumpus. jest kep' a walkin' an walkin', and pretty soon I walked out the door with Mrs. Van Fatty bilk's grip in my hand an my old car pet sack of brown paper a layin' back there on tn counter beside Ter.
 Gee I said to myself. this is too easy. If this keeps up I'll be . swell myself soon an I husged that fat valise just Ike fl vas . baby.
 Well. walked kind O slow to tn corner. but after that you bet I went some. a swearin' for Joy at ev'ry step an vonderin' how many piannys I'd get vid tn poodle sn' swell togs and odder tings.
 Wen I reached de dump where we hangs out I sneaked up stairs into th' room, buttoned tn door tight an den I set there. . lookin'. lovin' like. at that grip an my mouth lest . vaterin'. My. how tickled I vas,
 T was lest gettin' ready to bust it open an feast my eyes. when Mag came up tn stairs. lickety-split WeIl vs clibches an' langAs an' dea Jerlso