Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1907-12-11
A BURGLARS CHRISTMAS
- VENTURE. ~
: :-:<..41~~e9..:<.<a.~

I'll never again crack a crib at
Christmas time" said the burglar
"Iye tried it several times and some
thing turned up to beat me every
! time. Our craft thinks that at the
! Christmas season there's lot of pres
ents laying around loose to git hold of.
And so there is. But, great Scott, most
OF it's rubbish. 'Tain't nothin' to COM
/ pare with weddin's. Weddin's is the
! apple of my eye. There's where you
can pick up solid silver, and to me sill
/ ver's as good as coined dollars. But
: Christmas / amt got no use for.
Last Christmas l had my eye on a
house where there was boxes and bum
| dies enough goin' in to fill the hold of
ship. l saw small boy playing out
on the sidewalk before the house, and
l thought o kidnapin' him, though 1t
vast no more than Il thought, for I'm
not in that line o. business There
amt nothing into 1t. Steal mans
silver, and he don't make no fuss, but
steal his child, and not only he and his
wife. but the rest Of tie world, git on a
mighty big hustle that's sure to beat
You out O. your profit. The kid I'm
speakin' of had a good lookin' nurse
he called Martha, and she called him
Jimmie.
''She couldn't do nothin' with him.
He wasn't afraid O. her nor anybody
else. He was the cutest little Teller
you ever saw; regular boy; there
wasn't enough girl in him to hang a
pair O. earrings on to. He came out
on the stoop one afternoon when
was surveyin' the house with doll
reckon somebody had just given it
to him, for / hadn't seen him with 1t
before. was surprised, cause didn't
think he'd have no use for a doll. 1t
had beautiful chiny head and lots O
tow hair. What did the little shaver
do but take the thing by the heels and
bring the head down on the stone step!
That chinny head flew all over the
sidewalk. The nurse nearly had fit,
but Jimmie, he forgot his doll in a
jiffy.
"Well, l asked the nurse a lot O.
questions, lettin' on l was a-huntin' for
some un as lived in the neighborhood
and l thought might live in the house
she came out of. Before l got through
with her 1 had my bearin's all right.
People thinks servants is pals with us
crib crackers, but they hain't-least
ways, not always. It's their stupidity
as does the business. The nurse GIN
me the hull makeup o the house with
out KNOWN what she was dom.
christmas night people ginerally
leaves things loose, putin 'em in their
proper places the next day. | chose
that time and Instead o breakin' in
durin' the night KNOWN from the
nurse of the staircaSeS and the habits
o the family, | stole in about q O'Clock,
when they was at dinner. The nurse
had let out that she slept in bed in
Jimmie's room and he slept in his
crib. There want nobody upstairs,
and had the free run o. the house up
there. Servants sleep sounder than
people as don't have nothin' to do. and
/ concluded that If | could git into the
nurses room I'd stand the best chance.
While | was a-rootin' round | saw Il
in, found bed there and got under
ii. 1t was one o the low kind, and
had hard job to squeeze in.
when the kid come up to go to bed
/ almost give myself away larfin' at
him. He lugged lot o things into
tho ~ or, TOYS
sayin' he wasn't goin' to leave 'em
downstairs for burglars, and some OF
'em he took to bed with him. When
he got on his nightie his nurse asked
him to say his prayers. He told her
he'd said 'em to his mother. The nurse
said he hadn't done no such thing.
Yes, have said Jimmie. If you
don't believe me, ask God
IL stuffed my fist In my mouth to
keep from shOutin', and 1t wasn't long
before Jimmie and the nurse were both
asleep. i waited till l heard clock
strike /, then | crawled out The door
had been left open, and there was
light in the hall | had to go past
Jimmie's crib 10 git out o the room.
His pet kitten was sleepin' on a piller
beside the crib, and what did do but
step on the pesky little thing. This
woke. Jimmie, and he could see me In
the dim light standin' beside his crib.
What dye suppose the little mon
key did? He sat up, pulled tin horn
from under his piller and began to
blow as hard as his little lungs was
able. He stopped minute to holler:
Burglar! Don't let him take my cards
what / worked at the kindergarten!
Then he started in again to blow
IL didn't wait to hear any more, but
started down the stairs four steps at
a time. Before l reached the bottom
the electrics was switched on, but the
nurse had posted me on the ways o.
gitin' out and in a jiffy | was in the
street. / could see the house in Il blaze
o. light. A winder was raised and a
woman's voice yelled. Burglars. po-
licer and above the clatter could hear
Jimmie's horn a-blowin' and a-blowin
S if he was Gabriel tryin' to raise the
dead.
Il lodged a cop comm, lit into an
alloy vaultp1 over n fence and hid m