Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1907-11-03
WHYTHE old SAYINGS?
Common Phrases which Are
Inappropriate and Without
Sense OF Reason

A we'll known depictor of coon
life on the variety stage has given
forth as her reasoned opinion that the
negro Is 1.-The LATEST thing on EARTH"
Things being thus. what becomes of
| our wellused English smile: Work
ing like u nigger?' The average man
tells you he has been working like
n Niger when he wants you to un.
| derstand that cheerful toll and hign
endeayor have occupied by far the
greater part of his working hours But
this phrase is no more inappropriate
than many others. For instance, why
AS fit as fiddler "ny should not
cornet or trombone or mouth.
organ-if II comes to that-be just rs
fit as any fiddle that ever was? Then
there is that idiotic smile, "As right
as raih." Everybody dislikes rain I;
nobody, except poets and gardening
cranks. has good word TO say for
rain. Then there seems no reason for
1t to be held up to admiration as a
synonym for rightness. LAS good as
gold" is another senseless phrase
There ARE metals which are ever SO
| much more valuable than gold. Why
not say "As good as platinum" and
relegate the overrated yellow metal
to it's proper place?
On the other hand n metal that is
very much libeled is brass. "As bold
as brass" is held to represent the
very height of impudence. There
seems to be no reason why brass
| should be looked upon as any holder
than copper or aluminium or bronze.
Passing from the mineral to the ami
mai kingdom. we find the same shock
ing lack of appropriateness in all ouI
English SMILES. Tired as a dog
Tor instance Why should n dog be
tired any more than, say, cab horse
| The pet Pom or schipperke, on the
contrary, lolling in his fair mistress
SILK or satin lap as she is driven
through the park, looks as il n little
more exercise would do him good.
Nervous as a cat" also, Is an OBJ
vious misnomer when one considers
the calm dignity and majestic compos
ure of the ordinary domestic pussy
ANY one who has ever seen n cat. com
fortably seated on a wall, at the foot
| OF which frantic dog is barking him
self into fit would hardly deem he,
extraordinarily nervous. "Sulky ms 4
bear with a sore head seems as con
| spicuously lacking in sense as any o.
the Instances already quoted. One
may reasonably ask what animal, MOI
excluding the Lord OF Creation him
self, could really be expected to BIZ
on his best behavior while sufferinf
from the disability of sore head
Why pitch on Brother Bruin q con
spicuously good tempered animal, n.
an emblem of sulklness? It is anoth
er Injustice to our dumb friends.
Why again. do we always use tn,
phrase. AS black as thunder?" VIII,
has ever seen thunder, that its colo1
can be so confidently assumed? Fol
ell one knows, it might tie pearl.gra,
or shrimp-pink. or crushed strawberry
or any other art shade. "As quick n.
lighting" We also say. and with n.
much reason. Lightning has been pho
tographed, and. therefore photograph,
must be quicker than lightning. Yet
nobody seems to think Of saying "3,
quick as photography"
Another phrase that needs reylsio,
Is AS jolly as n sand-boy." What /,
a sand-boy, anyhow: and why shout,
he be jollier than any other cI..ss o
boy? ! pause for a reply. GAS merr,
ms grig' is mysterious phrase,
AS warm as toast one can r,adii,
understand, but not "As cold as char
lty." These are mysteries whi.h /
never be explained.