davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26
A LITTLE NONSENSE.


Now. as to weddings. let me speak;
Avoid the kind described as freak.
When you're IN love
You're apt 10 find the deuce 70 pay
If married in outlandish way,
As I will prove.
/ knew man named Abner Boone.
This chap got spliced in a balloon,
The reckless louti
But one result could come, I wis,
OF such an episode as this
They soon fell out.
Another fond but foolish swain,
Got married on a railroad train,
Oh. being rashl
OF course he got 1t in the neck.
Affairs with him soon went to/wreck
And total smash.
Avoid freak weddings when you go
To take a wife. They bring but woe
To serf or prince.
One chap / knew wed in a mine,
And he has ne'er, his friends Opine.
Seen daylight since!
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26
NEW YORK's GAS PROBLEM
Remarkable Efforts of n Corporation
to Evade S0-cent Law.

New York Dispatch to Philadelphia Ledger.
Under the arrangement made by the
Consolidated Gas Company when the 80
cent gas law was enacted, bills were rem
dered al the old rate Of 81. Pending a de-
cision on the legality of the act. % per
cent Of the amounts collected from con
sumers is deposited in the United States
District Court These deposits now
amount to $780, g763. and are increasing
al the rate Of 100000 a month. To keep
track Of the vast number Of rebates the
gas company has organized a special corps
Of clerks. who work night and day on sep
arate sets OF books.
The real trouble viii not come unless
the court decides against the company
and the money has TO be returned 10 Gus
toners. The smaller ones are constantly
moving about; others 90 10 Europe;
others out West. II is almost impossible
10 keep track Of them There will IN
doubtedly be many who can never be
found, and whose money will ultimately
90 into some fund IN escrow.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26
The States Getting Into Line

The warning given by Secretary Root
to the effect that unless the States acted
in the direction Of necessary legislation
the period Of Capitalization would fast
approach seems TO have been needed. At
any rate, an examination OF many mes
sages recently submitted to State legisla-
lures by State governors indicates that
these executives are Jealous 10 avoid
any curtailment Of the rights and privi-
leges Of the States, and, therefore. urge
the enactment of laws similar to those
which are before Congress.
Take, for instance, President Roose-
velts latest hobby. the imposition Of an
inheritance tax. Cows. Hughes. of New
York; Guild, Of Massachusetts, and
Davidson. Of Wisconsin. are among the
State executives who insist that State
legislatures should act upon the question,
and thus obvlate the necessity OF Federal
action. While Senator Beveridge OF IN
diana. is urging a Federal child labor law
in Congress. Gov. Folk. OF Missouri, in
sists that the subject is one that belongs
entirely TO the State. and he urges the
legislature Of his State to act independ-
entity of Congress. Pure food has already
become "a subject Of national concern, but
none the less do various governors regard
il as a matter for State control This is
especially true with reference to Gov.
PennypackeT, OF Pennsylvania. Gov. War
ner of Michigan, and Gov. Lea, OF Della
ware. In the matter Of uniform divorce.
which In the opinion Of many persons,
can only be satisfactorily dealt with by
Congress, it is interesting to find a large
number Of governors who believe that CO.
operative action by the States is a prac-
teal achievement The list includes the
governors Of Pennsylvania. New Jersey.
Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Della
ware.
We might go a great deal further and
point out that insurance problems, the ad-
ministration Of charities and corrections.
the reforms demanded by labor. and other
subjects upon which Federal action is
suggested are treated by State govern
ors as matters entirely within the CON
troll Of State legislatures. II is not, how
ever. necessary 10 go further into detail.
Enough has already been presented 20
demonstrate that with proper activity on
the part Of State governors and with some
/ degree Of responsiveness on the part OF
State legislatures, the growing tendency
toward liberalization can be checked. The
trouble has been in the past that the
State legislatures acted locally and indie
/ peHdently. They did not appreciate the
important position which they held as
integral parts OF the Union
With a due recognition Of this fact as
shown by the gubernatorial messages, we
may expect a political renaissance. The
States VIII once more occupy their right
( ful position. and legislation IN Congress
win be restricted, as It ought 10 be, 10
subjects which are wholly national, and
I thus are unquesuonably within the jurls-
diction Of Congress under our Constitu-
/ ton.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26

Too Many Hoots.
Why Girls Marry.

Paris Gable % New YORK sun.
A French statistician asked ninety-fve
girls, between fifteen and seventeen years
old why they wished TO marry. Five
replied in order TO be able TO go out
alone. ten in order TO amuse themselves.
five so that they could travel, and seven
because they wanted to own their own
homes. Sixty-one were unable 10 specify
their reasons; three did not wish to get
married, four wanted 10 marry for the
sake of Il future family. None suggested
love as q motive for matrimony. Doubt
less many Of them were too shy to do so.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26
Vicious Circle of Subsidy.

From the New York Evening Post.
The direct and obvious way is to re-
move American shipping from the tariff
burdens under which it now labors but,
Of course this is the last thing I'm the
world the Republican party would do. II
shippers suffer because the steel-makers
and others have been granted special priv
ileges at the expense Of the public. then
relieve the shippers by paying them
money out Of the public treasury. BY ali
means-so the Presidents argument runs
complete the vicious circle.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26
sTINGY FOLKS AT CHURCH.
How n Preacher RebuISed Those Who
Contributed Pennies.
Il - - - IoarnaI.

From the Kansas City Journal
DR.. MunhaIi recently closed a sue
cessful religious cmpalgn In Emporia.
A great many pennies had been put in
the Offering. and his attention was
called 10 this. One night he held up q
silver dollar and a copper penny and
gave a conversation held by the two
coins.
You poor little sed cent you; you
don't amount 20 anything. I'd hate 70
be YOU" said the big dollar.
Il know I'm not very big replied
the cent. but the children like me and
l can buy q good many things
Huh, YOU can't buy anything at
all. said the dollar. Just look at me;
big and bright and shiny. ! can buy
a whole lot more than you can
Maybe so. said the little red cent
meekIy. but ] go 10 church a heap
oftener than YOU do, anyway"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26

service with the commissioned personnel
Of the navy should be invited to influence
legislation by this or any other process.
The fact that the bill ought to become a
law by virtue OF its merits does not ex-
cuse this resort 10 the devices OF its ar
dent ADVOCATES. exposed by this draft Of a
letter which midshipmen are writing
home The form Of another letter has
also been sent TO the midshipmen for the
purpose Of aiding them in communicating
with their Congressman and Senators to
the same effect. Something should be
done TO stop this sort of service lobby
ing
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26
bringing in the Boar,s Head.

From the London Tribune
The ancient ceremony of bringing IN the
boar's head attracted a large gathering
to the hall Of Queens College, oxford on
Christmas Day. The head weighed sixty
seven pounds, and was crowned and be-
deCked with bays and rosemary. The call
10 dinner was given by the sound or a
trumpet Ga custom coeval with the founda-
tom and the bOar's head. on a massive
silver dish was borne by seTYitOTs Of the
college from the kitchen, the visitors
standing on either side and leaving an
open space in the center of the hall for
the nrncnsSinn-
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26
Hoke Smiths Great Recommendation

From a Speech by Georyia's Governor-eIect.
I expect to spend the rest of my life in
studying the problems which concern the
state and the South and in writing and
talking about them. When I ran for gov
ernOr last year / decided definitely to give
up working for money and TO devote the
remainder of my life 10 working out these
problems for Georgia and the South.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26
LIVING IN PEACE.
Striking Examples of the Value of
National DfsnrmHment,

From che Chicago Chrouicle.
Addressing the Canadian Club at a
luncheon IN ottawa, Secretary Rott di-
rected attention to the fact that for
ninety years under a simple exchange Of
notes limiting the armament Of the two
countries IN terms which have become
Anticipated examples Of naval literature
two l00-ton boats with single lS-pound can
non-we have been living on either side OF
this 5000 miles Of boundary with no more
fear or thought Of hostilities than if We
We're the same people"
This shows what it is easily possible to
90 in the way of disarmament when
neighbOring countries are disposed TO
dwell together In peace. And ike fact
may be cited on the Mexican frontier
What he pointed out is, as Mr. Root said,
"a great fact in history and a great fact
Of potential import for the future"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26
Logical English.

Prom Life
I paused to talk TO a fishmonger. Fish
monger, said I, pleasantly. why do you
fishmong?'
He answered with a cordial smile: =
fishmong because my father fishmong be-
fore me-"
And have you been fshmonging Iong?''
asked further.
Yes was the reply. Il have fishmong
for seven years come Michaelmas.
You are a worthy fishmonger," I re-
sponded, and I'm sure you always mong
the best of fish,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26
HOME.

J want 60 GO home
To my place IN the hills;
To the blue of the sky,
And the laugh Of the streams;
To the still noontides,
And the whispering nights;
And the rain on the leaves
! want to 60 home
To field ! have seen
As the sun slipped down
To his fiery bed.
To 2 dCcp-CIt road.
And a laureled cove;
Aud the paths that I know.
want TO gO home
Where the North wind sweeps
Through the sentinel trees
And the bare boughs crcak;
And the ice lies thick
On the mountain tops
In the light Of the noon.
4 ] want t. 90 home
To a house that / know.
And some folks who sit
IN the glow Of a fire.
To some books On a shelf.
And some music and things;
And my place by the hearth.
-LeQla SNOW, in the American.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26
CAPITOL GOSSIP.
AIger and Phil. sheridan.

Between the late Senator Russell A
Alger and Gen. Phil. Sheridan there was
a close bond of friendship which. begin
ming before the civil war. lasted 10 the
death of the dashlng Union cavalryman.
II was largely through Ayers influence
that Sheridan was detailed from his lower
rank in the regular army to the lieutenant
colonelcy Of the Second Michigan Caval-
~, in which Alger started as a captain.
Last Tuesday afternoon Gen. Alger met
Senator Du POnt, Of Delaware. and Col.
Dan Ransdell. Sergeant -at-aTms OF the
Senate. both old soldiers. in the Republi-
can cloak room of the Senate. and told
them how he had secured Sheridan's pre-
motion as colonel Of the regiment This
command gave Sheridan the opportunity
10 display his genius as a soldier, and
from that time on his rise was rapid.
Senator Alger related with pride the part
he had taken in pushing Sheridan up. and
spoke with deep affection OF the famous
soldier. The Senator went from the Re
publican cloak room 10 his carriage 10 be
driven home. and that was his last visit
TO the Senate.
1t was recalled yesterday by several
Republican Senators conversant with
many Of the details Of the cause OF Gen.
Ayers quitting the Cabinet of President
Mckinley hat with the exception Of
former Attorney General John W. Griggs,
all Of the men involved in that transaction
are dead, Gen. Alger being the last 70 die.
They were President Mckinley, Mark
Hanna. Hazen s. pingree, Vice President
Hobart, and James Mcmillan, whose seat
in the Senate Gen. Alger wanted While
factional politics In Michigan played q
part in bringing about the estrangement
between Mckinley and Aiger, 1t is known
that causes much more powerful than this
contributed 20 IL. Gen. AlgeT was the
victim Of one Of those secret pOlitico-
business cOnspiracies which seldom are
publicly exploited, and which the public
would not be able 10 understand if they
should be- told
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26
Mnnderr of Advertising.

From Tit-Bits
Fair Visitor-So you have really decided
not To sell your house?
Fair HOstess-Yes; you see. we placed
the matter in the hands Of an estate
agent. After reading his lovely adver-
Jisement of our property neither John
nor myself could think of parting with
such a wonderful and perfect home
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26
ON West.

why can't / get my number de-
manded the man.
Lines busy" replied the telephone girl
81 don believe it."
Its so, just the same. Some cowboys
have borrowed it TO hang a horse thief
with"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26

This much should be said tn justice to
Senator Tillman: A few days since in the
course of an editorial. The Washington
Herald said, THE senate of South Caro-
lima has passed a resolution indorsing the
President in the Brownsville matter
The legislature viii re-elect Mr. Tillman.
but not indorse his stand" The senate did
pass such a resolution, but the house
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26

Speaker Cannon thinks there will be no
currency legislation this session, and it
probably isn't worth while for the balance
OF creation to waste any further thinks
upon the subject.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26
The Difference,

From the Detroit Free Press.
This new pure food law has made big
difference in our house.
How so?
Well. We used to eat canned goods and
throw away the labels; now we read the
labels and throw away the canned goods.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26
As the Curtain Fen.

II went 10 the theater last night"
And did the play have a happy end
ing?"
con the contrary. My wife lost her rub
bers and got jabbed with hatpin right
under my left eye"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26
4 Rare Bird.

'Jinks is a queer fellow
why SOP
lie has no money. and yet he doesn
seem 10 care 10 abuse those who have"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26

Jane ] just discharged the cook"
What a risk you ran, John! She's
been drinking al day"
well, i didn't know she was loaded.'
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26
strong Competition.

From the Cleveland Leader.
After all. nothing less effective than a
carload of blasting powder has any bus
mess trying to compete with the block
signal system.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26
Mr. HnIc and Lobbrists.

Senator Hales slashing assault yester-
day on navy officers for exerting personal
influence i'm favor Of the passage of the
pending personnel bill was not a surprise to
to persons who know how heartily he de-
tests lobbyists and every form of lobbying.
No member of Congress has a more thor
ough contempt Of that sort Of thing than
has the statesman from Maine. He so
breads contact with lobbyists that he
rarely ever responds to a card sent TO his
desk at the request of visitor while the
Senate is in session, for fear the visitor
desires to ask him about pending or pro-
posed legislation.
As chairman for many years of the
Committee on Naval Affairs, he has been
brought into intimate contact with navy
officers. and is on terms Of cordiality with
nearly all Of them stationed in Washing
ton. But he insists that their relations
when he meets them outside of his COM
mittee room, shall be strictly social. II
was stated yesterday by another member
Of the Naval Affairs Committee that Mr.
Hale intends TO press his resolution
through and see TO il that the Navy De-
partment reports to the Senate the name
of every officer who has attempted TO
bring influence 10 bear upon the members
Ct Congress in favor of the personnel bill
Moreover. il was said by the same au-
thority that when these names are re-
ported the Senator from Maine will follow
the case TO the end and insist upon a
rigid enforcement of the Executive orders
against army and navy officers personally
participating in efforts to influence legisla-
ton. If Mr.. Hale carries out his threat
il will doubtless result in some sensational
developments, and probably may lead to
the resignation of several officers from
/ the navy.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26
Another Discharge without Honor.

From the Charleston News and Courier
The Senate Monday seems to have dis
charged Mr.. Tillman from the Browns
vile debate without honor
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26

An eminent scientist has invented an
anaesthetic of such a nature that a pa
tient may watch himself being operated
upon. In this way the surgeons calculate
10 come q little nearer giving him his
moneys worth
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26

The Baltimore American thinks none Of
70 accept the increase. Certainly not;
there is probably a law preventing it.
even though it may be unwritten
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26
But That Would Disturb the Tariff.

Prom the New York World.
Is Mr.. Roosevelt sure that the first step
in the direction of an adequate" ship
subsidy does not lie in a revision of the
Dingley schedules?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26

afterward refused to concur. This, OF
course. put the legislature on record as
distinctly MT indorsing the Presidents
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26

The terrors of a great city are some
thing dreadful"
Maybe so. bat they don't begin to
compare with the horrors Of a small ham,
/ let"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26
Hearing from the Country.

A large host of statesmen at the House
end of the Capitol are shaking IN their
boots over the passage Of the salary-in-
crease bill. They are beginning 10 hear
from their districts. kilograms and let
tiers are pouring in upon them. And
nearly every one Of these missives bears a
criticism more or less Indignantly ex-
pressed. Generally speaking. the met
ropoiitau press has approved both the
measure and the unusual methods resort
cd 10 10 put it through but this approval
seems as yet 70 have had 10 influence on
the minds Of the voters. especially those
in the rural districts As a rule the couu-
try papers are severely cOndemning the
measure, and denouncing il as another
salary gTab-a term Of repr0ach that
causes "a creepy feeling 20 come oyer
scores Of statesmen, who have for years
heard their constituents discuss this sub
ject The Democratic States seem 10 be
harder on their Congressman than are the
Republican States, and by this token IL is
now generally thought that the salary in
crease viii cut quite a figure In the next
Congressional campaign. Luckily for
everybody concerned. the bin was passed
without a roll call and was at first de
feated on a roll call. Thus. every states
man who voted against IL can be able 10
show by the record what he did while
numerous Of those who stood up and were
counted for the bill the other day cannot
be convicted az home cf having done so.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26

The statement of Miss Ellen Terry that
she viii only visit the civilized portions
of the United States during her forthcom-
ing tour is explained by the fact that they
took her to Omaha the last time she was
In this country
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26
Understandable, at Least.

From the Richmond Times Dispatch.
Still, Il Is a great deal better TO have an
unwritten law or so than IL would be TO
have few of them written by MIR. Henry
James
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26

When your money and friends have
departed, it is just the right time to get
up and go 10 work" says the Baltimore
American, Better not wait until then,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26

Great quantities of cabbages are being
converted into saUerkraut out in Califor-
mia; but it doesn't matter, because no
one ever heard Of a pure Havana cigar
manufactured in California, anyhow
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26

A recent issue Of the Milwaukee Senti-
mel contains "a list of seven cures for a
cold. Any one with well-regulated cold
can soon accumulate ten times that many
remedies by mentioning the matter to his
friends as he meets them along the
streets
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26
Called Down.

This world is just a stage. you see.
So says the seeT's book.
and when we strive to funny be
We often get the hook.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26

Not since Sir Joseph Porter, X. c. B..
ex-office boy and ruler of the Queen s
navee,' has any knightly Englishman so
added TO the gayety of the nations as
Swettenhaml
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26

Former Senator Billy" Mason declares
that he will "burn ~ all the alfalfa from
Colena to Shawneetown" in his forth
coming race for the Senate. There is no
doubt that he is hot proposition when
he gets in motion.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26

Senator Beverage is the first Senator
30 introduce the illustrated Senatorial
speech. Mr.. Roosevelt should remember
that imitation is sincerest nattery.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26
4 Timid Statesman

To vote for increased pay,
Was shocking 20 his mind.
But since he'll get II anyway.
tie tTies to feel resigned.
Philadelphia Ledger.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26

What the machine Republicans Of New
York are longing for IS a governor who
viii stand hitChed.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26

Somewhere along the lire of the Smoot
investigation it is going to become neces-
sary for Mr.. Smoot TO go home and get
reelected.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26

Since Congressman have registered q
belief that charity in the matter of sal
airy. begins al home. the government en-
Ployes are bUsily hoping that it will make
ii few visits around among the nelghb0rs
before its generous mood gives out
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26

Senator Bacon is a great hair-splitter. -
observes a contemporary. Nothing of the
kind. He lets the others split the hairs.
then he splits the splits
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26

All So the near-sterling silver is now
"sterline"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26

II is hardly necessary for Gov. Swetten-
ham to explain that he will not try 10 be
humorous any more.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1907-01-26

LET the anti Roosevelt Senators stand
up and be counted, says the Newark
Star. Can the Star suggest way to
make them?