Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1907-05-28

pat anecdotes eX-Secretary Shaw does
approach the great war president.
Here is a sample of the aptneSs Of his
stories:
A man went to him one day when
there was talk Of some customs frauds
in New York to ask If he intended
starting an investigation.
Il knew fellow once" said Mr.. |
Shaw, who hunted foxes with brass |
band. A very long and embarrass-
ing pause. while the secretary went OH
signing his MALL He didn't get any |
foxes"
One day Justice Harlan Of the SUI
preme court, propOunded this query to
Shaw:
mfr. Secretary, what is the differ
ence between a statesman and poll
tician?"
Quick rs thought came the answer:
+ It's the difference between the
Young man seeking position and the
boy looking for ii job"
4 friend of the family once remark
ed TO the secretary:
Mrs. Shaw is SO kind. isn't she?'
Kind repeated Mr.. Shaw. Mrs.
Shaw would be kind to her own eXecu-
TONER"
When the treasury portfolio was Of
fered to Governor Shaw. his friends, in
his presence, were specializing as TO
whether he would accept or not. He
Set their minds at rest by telling the
following story:
1.-TWO boys. Bill and Bob, were ut the
q dinner liable. Some time before the
end of the meal the pie was passed.
Bill declined 10 take any, saying he
was not yet ready for the dessert. Bob
helped himself to the biggest piece on
the plate and, turning to Bill, remark
ed. Bill, allus take pie when pie IS
passin'.'"
The treasury department had Il mi
nor employee named Mike. who went
on periodical spreeS. But he was con
sidered Indispensable. 50 was taken
back each time Mr.. Shaw learned of
this and asked the delinquent's immc-
date superior, What would you do If
Mike We're dead?'' "Oh. | suppose we
would have to straighten out things
ourselves" well, SO far rs this de
partment is concerned, Mike is dead.
So begin and straighten.'
When he was secretary he always
wanted to help people if he could, but.
much as he desired to assist one wom-
an To position, he saw it was impOS
Sible.
Il tell you how it is. my good wOm-
an" he said finally. I'm always will
ing to climb tree for anybody, but l
couldn't climb a creased pole TO please
my mother. want to help you, but
simply can't do it,"
Senator Depew once raised a great
laugh ut a London banquet by quoting
the following poem as coming from
Shaw's pen:
GO ask papa" the maiden said
He knew that her papa was dead.
He also knew the life he'd led
ana uIttfStOOt ltT "nGn Slt Stllu,
Go ask papa"
Englishmen are said to be slow in
seeing n joke. but even they caught on
TO the girls polite method of telling an
unweleoGae sutton to 90 to the Internal
regions.
When Shaw was governor, he was
one day making speech in which he
was often interrupted by one man in
the audience. This individual butted
in once too often. In an unhappy mo-
ment he broke In with Pardon me,
but
Before he could finish the governor
replied: We'll, I've pardoned lots
worse fellows than you i'll my time
and | presume it would be unjust to
draw the line here"
The fellow sat down, ana during the
remaining two hours of the address
there were no more Interruptions.
Governor Shaw once addressed @
letter to his wife as follows:
The Best Woman In the World.
Des Moines la.
''The letter" said the happy woman
with a mixture of delight and senti
ment, was delivered to me without
question as the postmaster knew the
writing"
When Beliamy Storer was dismissed
from the diplomatic service recently
some one asked Shaw if the decision
had been sudden. In answer came 1
story.
"Out west" said the secretary
there was a tenderfoot who struck
new town just as funeral procession
was coming out. He stood and watch
ed 1t file by and then inquired of on,
of the bystanders who the deceased
was
"'Pink Eyed Bill was the reply.
WAS his death sudden inquired
the tenderfoot
Sudden? said the resident. No
stranger. He'd been under suspicion
long time'"