The Corvallis times. (Corvallis, Or.) 1888-1909, 1907-02-22
A DOSE OF PADDING.
The Stuff That News Men Write When
azas 'ss=s.ss
=- They Have Nothing to say.

sz4 ss=sa,s
- They Have Nothing to say.
r A gentleman not a thousand miles
from Corvallis has incurred the
unanimous enmity of the TIMES
employees. To be little more ex--
plicit, he is only about thirty-6ve
miles from here, having been called
to the capital to administer spirit
ual consolation to the rapidiy-de-
clining Oregon Legislature in its;
expiring moments, and it the final
agony is not too long drawn cut he
may be able to assist in performing
the dust .to-dust service. The
gentleman also has friends in Salem
whom he may be expected to COM
fort, as far as possible, in their BIZ
ennial bereavement. In anticipa-
ton of part in the last sad rites
before departing he sought inspira-
ton from spiritual sources and de-
cided that his remarks in the event
of his being called upon to make a
post.mortem talk, should be based
upon a passage, in machine-made
confession as follows: Eve Wehaveleft
undone those things which weought
to have done; we have done those
things which we ought not to have
done. and there is no health in us"
While the Importance of the
gentleman's presence at Salem is
fully appreciated by those upon
whom devolves the distinction of
purveying the news of this issue of
the TIMES, it should be said, not to
his credit, that he left here in the
early dawn, having given an un-
fulfilled promise to leave a column
of copy with which the force of vo-
racious compositors might allay the
acute pangs of an abnormal Thurs
day morning appetite for stuff"
We regret to say that nothing ser
ious or alarming has occurred To-
cally, up to date, Of which an ac-
count may lie given. Hence, the
necessity of ''space-fller'' is ap-
parent. sa-47
The situation is a reminder of
Or. Murphy's remark some years
ago. The doctor once practiced
medicine in Corvallis. He was
nomadic in his habits. = He ad-
ministered to the ills of Southern
Benton for time, with headquart-
ers at Monroe, and from there he
went to Brownsville. After few
weeks he came back to Monroe.
Upon his return friend met Kim
and after exchanging greetings, the
latter enquired, We'll. Doctor, how
| did you find things at Brownsville"
IT assure you. Mr.. Blank said
the Doctor, 81 found it distressing
ly healthy over there. I prefer
Monroe - H -
So, in the nature of things, one
may prosper upon the ills and mis-
fortunes of another. IF nobody
got sick the doctor would go out
of business. If nobody died the
undertaking parlors would be closed
newspapers would be deprived of
what is part of their stock in trade
and lots of worms would go hun
CRY. Indeed. there is in death the
essence of other life. Humanity
survives its allotted time through
this principle, and our death in
turn feeds the substance which
supported our existence. IF no.
| body committed crime a good many
court officials would lose their Jobs.
If nobody disagreed there wouldn't
be so many fat lawyers, and that
would unfortunately, partially close
an occupation to some people who
are good for nothing else. If every.
body were as good as they ough
to be the preacher-no, he would
stay with US and insist upon our
being still better, and upon a reg.
| ular attendance at prayer meeting
| just the same. -.
But the phone is jangling. Maybe
somebody wants to tell US that there
has been another local train wreck
Possibly Japan has declared war.
** No it was only a little
"Born"-just a three-liner.