The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-07-14
MT. D00Qey's Philosophy

ruld that tn color line was not to be
 dhrawn anymore, an Hogan says
 that almost amy time he expicts to
 see a black face peerln' through a
 window an in few years I'll be talin'
 in laundhry in a basemint instead iv
 occypyin' me prisint impeeryal posi-
 ton, an yell be settin' in front iv
 yeer cabin home playin' on a banjo
 an watchin ye'er little pickahinnissies
 rollickin' on tn ground an wondherin' whin tn lynchin party'll arrive.
 That's what Hogan says. I niver
 knew tn subjick races had so much in thim befure. A few years ago 1 had
 no more thought iv Japan than I had iy Dorgan's COW. I admire Dorgan's
 COW. It's a purity cow I've often
 leaned on tn fence and watched Dor
 gan milk his COW. Sometimes 1 won-
 dhered in a kind iv smoky way why
 as good and large a COW as that shud
 let little man like Dorgan milk her.
 But if Dorgan's COW shud stand up on
 her hind legs, kick over tn bucket,
 chase Dorgan out iv tn lot, put on a
 khaki unyform, grab hold iv Mauser
 rifle an begin shootin' at me, I wud-
 dent be more surprised than l am at tn idee iv Japan bein' wan iv tn na-
 tions iv tn wurruld.
 "I don't see what tn subjick races have got to kick about, Hinnissy. We've been awfully good to thim. We sint thim missionaries to teach thim
 tn error iv their religyon an nawthin'
 cud be kinder thin that, fir there's
 nawthin' people like betther thin to hn fnl6 hot hni hn amy means where they thought they were, but in a far more crowded an excitin' locality. An with tn mis- sionaries we sint sharpshooters that cud pick off Chinyman beatin' tn contribution box at five hundherd yards. We put up palashal goluf- courses in tn cimitries an what was wanst tn tomb iv Hung Chang, tn great Tartar Impror, rose to tn dig
 nity iv bein' tn bunker guardin' th' fifth green. No Chinyman cud fail to be pleased at seein' tall Englishman hittin' tn Chinymans grandfather's coffin with a niblick. We sint explor- CTS up tn Nile who raypoorted that tn Ganzain flows into tn Oboo just above Lake Mazap, a fact that tn nay gurs had known fir long time. Tn explorer announces that he has l changed tn names iv these wather- coorses to Smith, Bltkins an Winkin- son. He wishes to deny tn infamyous story that he iver ate a native alive. But wan soon succumbs to tn GUS | toms iv a counthry an Sir Alfred is no viggytaryan.
 Our old frinds acrost tn sea were specially attintive to tn subjick races. They haven't been like tn Germans an tn Fr-rinch, who threated thim tn
 way Dock Long says Tiddy Rosenfelt pursues his nature studies. They | thried to improve their minds an l morals as well as their projoocin' | power. Whin a false prophet come along among thim tn English were | mortified be his teachers, which prin- l cipally was in tn line iv target prac- tice. Tn poor wan died, as all proph- 1 cts must, countherfeit or ginooyine, an was buried. Tn English govern | mint felt 1t had great religious 1 jooty to perform, so it sint out Gin l ral Lord Kitchener, an he opened tn grave an dug up tn body an cut its head off to show to the poor mis- | guided haythen. Is that tn head iv l tn prophet?' says he. It fs.' says tn haythen. Well, if he was rale prophet cud kill him? Cudden't he put his
 head back on again?' says he. "Tis thrue, says tn haythen. An they all
 become Christyans at wanst an were | put to wuruk.
 1 An now be Hivin. all these here