The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-09-28
Defends Professor Swift.

ject to you but what you try to be sar
castle over IT." shouted Mr.. Bowser a.
his face got very red. "Of course he
didn't want to borrow any money. He
was simply interested from a profes
sional standpoint"
And he knows as much about Il ms
our old cat. Every day or two you see
an article in the papers about what tc
eat and how to eat 1t and when and
how long to sleep and a lot Of other
nonsense. One doctor says we must
chew our meat very fine Another says
to bolt 1t down in hunks. One says
look out for sweets, and another saws
eat half a pound of candy per day.
One says that white bread contains no
nutrlment, and another declares it the
very germ of wheat. When have they
experimental, on whom2 One doctor
says that mashed potatoes are un-
wholesome. Another says they should
be prepared for the table in no other
way. You have lived for almost fifty
years in this fiapdoodle way, as you
call It, and don't see how your health
could be any better. You are as strong
as an OK, and IL you would only let
these fads alone you might live to be
300 years old instead of 100. What
makes you let men stuff you with such
ideasY
Mr.. Bowser had kept his eyes on her
as she spoke. His face had flushed
from red to white and back again half
n dozen times.
stuff me! Stun Bowserw he al
most yelled when she had finished.
Mrs. Bowser, the man does not live
who can stun me. He never has lived
and never will. TO hear you talk, one
would think l was a x-year-old kid
who didn't know enough to get out Of
the way of a street car. Discussion is
useless, however. You are never in
sympathy with any OF my ideas. will
60 my way about this matter, and you
can go yours. Stuff me! STUFF mer'
Resents Her Sarcasm.
That ended It. Mr.. Bowser was dy.
Ing for a smoke, but he couldn't go
back on his ancestors. When they
hankered for anything they went out
and dug roots. After he had wandered
TO and fro and up and down for an
hour he went over to the drug store
and asked for some llcorice root.
Whats up now" queried the drug.
gist.
"Pye stopped smoking"
"Glad to hear 1t. I've thought for
the last year that your brain is more
or less affected"
IL there hadn't been q couple of IL
dies in the store Mr.. Bowser would
have called the druggist liar. AS It
was, he had TO bottle up his wrath.
He hadn't gone ten feet from the door
when he met his family butcher and
halted him to say:
Smith, didn't the ancients used 10
eat their meat raw before they found
a way to cook it,"
II guess they did"
"And wasn't that why they were so
strong and healthyp
II presume IL was. Shall send you
over neck piece from an old bull tc
chew on? After devouring It you may
be able to pull up telegraph pole"
Concealed His Feelings.
Mr.. Bowser got home mad. but he
concealed his feelings from Mrs. Bow.
ser and chewed away at his supply Of
root When 10 o'clock came he went
upstairs and took n quilt off his bed
and passed out into the back yard
without word to her. The dewy
grass awaited him, but there were
cats around and the night was dark as
he felt himself wishing that his ali.
cestors had slept on hair mattresses
As he lay down and stretched out ana
the dew of heaven glistened on his
bald pate his vitals yearned for fried
Maryland chicken and corn fritters. He
thought OF coffee and chocolate. He
knew that his ancestors had none Of
those things, and he began to have
for them.
The professor hadn't asked TO Dor,
row SO of him, and lie had told Mrs.
Bowser no lie. 1t was ten that the man
got, and the lender now wished he had
~ S"Nhs NiAs ADO"Stl uDOul
lp his mind to change back and eat
hearty breakfast in the morning when
ne fell asleep. He didn't get TO sleep
rs soon as one of his ancestors would
nave done, but he did well for the first
line. He had slept and dreamed and
and hankered for an hour
when there was fash of lightning, II
peal Of thunder, and the rain descend
I'd In perfect cloudburst. Three min.
ties later limp and bedraggled form
entered the family bedroom, where
Mrs. Bowser sat reading and waiting.
"Our ancestors laid out I'm the rain
md got soaked, and that toughened
.hem," she remarked.
"D-n our ancestorsw was his vigor
'us reply as ne began to peel off his
vet garments to get into bed.
NJ. QUAD.
Worry.