Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-05-26
ANSWERS TO
CORRESPONDENTS

SVANANANX VNO1N IN
tin this column win Be answered all questions Of
sss Uncle Jasper" star once In case Of dim
Sssa two oensssasn,y ma. y Be st ad!is.bs fos
=" ooesuoners to watch this column earefully.I
NoTE.-Sorry. Jones, but no more queries
concerning the weather. the seasons, the
character of Prof. Willis Moore or the
probabilities Of better things will be an
swered in this column for one month from
date. II necessary well extend that period
FRANK saw paragraph in a local
paper the other day stating that the King
OF Abyssfnia had adopted a new umbrella
fcially informed, but we like the way he
did 1t. 1t sounds a lot better than the word
We used In describing the action OF the In
dividual that got ours last week.
Does the farmer vainly worry
When the seasons mighty dry,
When the later crop Is threatened.
And the sun hangs hot In the skyf
Not the modern irrigator
Not the farmer shrewd and wisei
He plants onions next his taters
And brings tears to the 'taters' eyes.
MATHIS It fair to assume that the
cosine of q. divided by the logarithm OF
$500. will have a monetary value when
followed out to eleven decimals along
the hypothenuse Of its corollary? A-No
fairer than It Is to assume we are paid
to tie bow knots in our mind. Come
again.
PHILIP G.-what Is the true definition
of Joyousness attained by a married cou-
pie when she has become used to his
language and he" can dodge the coffee
pot nine times out of ten.
JONATHAN Ms It true that in dark
est Africa has been discovered a bev-
man tell the TRUTH A~Yes; we can
vouch for the accuracy Of the report. We
have just finished the perusal Of an ex-
ecutive order forbidding the Importation
Of the beverage into the United States.
Nature is the grandest thing
To make disputes about;
Now some folks say that toadstools sing
And that all chipmunks shout.
Words simply will not drive to cover
The fewer and the higher.
Though some folks say nature faker
Is just natural liar.
LARRY-Uncle Jasper. why Is II that
quickest. nimblest and most active ball
players In the National and American
leagues are Irishmenf A.-Emerald Isle
Is q hne lubricant (Do not strike US.
Larry-we have to do this for living.)
HARRY els it true that there are
many hns aristocratic homes In the
southern states that, although still In
habited, have become indescribably
shabby and forlornf A.-indeed, It Isl
we visited ts o; one sed n natins
r. H LIS It true that the politicians
out In Ohio are wearing metal hats, and.
II 20, whyf A-The rocket went up
some time ago-thsy are looking out for
0EORGE-Wll the authorities permit
me to put bul-frog in the maler A.
the male than on the authorities. For
ward name and other details and method
you propose following. We. are inter-
ested.
LOCAL-The dust seems to have set
tied bit up around Glen Echo: Why
this peace and quiet? A--Town Marshal
Collins has had his picture took Read
the rest OF this issue. -I,s5 si.-
Said a town marshal Collins by name:
pray tell me. oh. who Is to blame
If q diplomat dizzy gets speedy and whizzy
And earns me an enduring famer'
ALGERNON-How may I discover the
secret of success? A.-Become successful.
Back to first principles. Algy; back to first
principles!
You're a liar. gentle spring.
You're a liar!
You only come so nigh
And no higher!
Pretty soon I'm going to stop.
Let the dog-goned subject drop.
You're a liar. gentle spring:
You're liarl
UNCLE JASPER