davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1907-10-24
UGlineSS
BaniShed
Mentally

CHICAGO, Oct. PA new high priest
ess Of the art of becoming beautiful
has arrived in Chicago. She teaches
esthetic physical culture by Christian
Science methods. II you want TO be-
come beautiful you mus have beautiful
thoughts.
Miss Ivah De Chipenham is the young
woman who has come 10 Chicago from
New York to try the suggestion method
cf transforming Chicago's ugly ones.
As Miss De Chipenham explains it,
while you are taking your exercises in
the morning you must put away all
enviOus. jealous. malicious thoughts
Then YOU must say-tTying at the same
time 10 look pleasant: In thyself lies
triumph or defeat" or. Gracious lives
make graceful women or BE gen
erous in thought, word and deed" or,
You cannot think in angles and move
Ia graceful curves"
All true beauty OF face and form
comes from within, Miss Chipenham
Beauty with grace is woman's by d.
vine right, she said. Beautiful
thoughts make beautiful women. Dis
cOrdant Or unchaTitable thoughts will
In dme distOrt the most regular fea-
lures"
But what Is 8 tubby woman to do?
Beautiful thoughts won't give her a
stylish figure" visitor remarked.
She'll have to diet; not strict diet
but II the exercises don't take OF her
flesh, I'll have her do them in tepid
water in a bath tub. until the water
gets cold"
The Washington times., 1907-10-24
Coming Attractions

Nsxts week attraction at the National
Wiz be Henry B. Harris and Maurice
CampbelFs music and dramatic spec
tacle The Christian Pilgrim in which
Henrietta CTOsmar IS starring in the
role Of Christian. hristian. as every
one knows, was tn nero Of John Bun
vans dream allegOry Pilgrims Progress
and The Christian Pilgrim" is the first
version of Bunyan's Pilgrims Progress
on the American stage
The production which the managers
have given The Cristian Pilgrim has
created q sensation. The production re-
uuires I'VE acts and eleven scenes For
the acting and singing. a company and
chorus or more than 100 is utilized, IN
GLIDING Tyrone Power. Edward Mackay-
Addison Pitt, Corah Adams, Minna
Adelman, and H Roger in the leading
roles, and an enormous chorus and bal
let. A special orchestra OF forty must
clans Is required for the musical portion
and is under the leadership OF the com
poser. William F1urst.
The Washington times., 1907-10-24

IIe has also managed to establish
some sort of an entente cordiale with
Gus" the baTbOy OF all work az the
Herald Square Cafe. The average per
son sddying out between the acts
might grasp the significance OF Gus
standing there at the front door vItH
az air as though he owned real estate
and could go on bail bonds. But the
newsbOys know. They are aware to
their SORROW that TO one but The
Monk" IS permitted to enter while the
theater crowd IS at the bar, How he
Eot the privilege Is another matter
bat It means something IN a financial
way to be able to edge along beck %
The Washington times., 1907-10-24
4---LimeriCkS
5---POuring in
Sat Daylight

When the first mail reached the Lin
erick Editor this morning it contained
three letters posted, respectively, at !,
3. and s a. m. They are sitting up
nights to work out the fascinating fifth
line.
This is only one Of the material bits
Of evidence that 90 10 prove the strong
hold that the limerick habit has taken
on the washington public. Everybody
has Joined the Limerick Club and each
one is trying to Guido the other.
Five dollars looks good to a great
many people these days, and when 4
may be had for the simple process of
writing just one line the last word Of
which rhymes with daughter and
taught her" there are Just about as
many ready and willing 10 get 1t that
way as a city like washington can har-
Dor
All day the mail comes piling into the
office ami the Limerick Editor is lust
about the busiest man in the Munsey
building He has read limericks until
he has become thoroughly convinced
that Ireland is his native land: he has
read limericks until he walks to the
rhythm Of the five-line verse; he has
read Hmericks until every sign on She
street looks like a section of the fas-
cinating verse, and when he goes to bed
at night the shadows in his room dance
in time and seem to say;
There was a count courted mas daugh-
ter
And slyly TO love him he taught her,
But when he asked ma
She said TO him: "Ha,
The Washington times., 1907-10-24
Unhappy France.

Able Klein, in his lectures at the
Lowell Institute on the politico-re-
hgious crisis IN France confined
himself to a plain historical exposi-
ton of the causes and effects of the
rupture between the French govern
ment and the Vatican. but now, in
supplementary statement, he offers
some sharp critical observations.
CAS- a general rule" he SAYS, "and
without distinction of party, the
French people. however intelligent
IN other matters, still lack political
education and show great inaptitude
for self-government." The turbu-
lence that has always been lead
ing feature of French history points
to that.
But how about the low political
estate into which the French Catho-
lies have fallen? Able Klein an
swers; ''Since the Conservatives
made up the majority of the friends
of the church, she naturally shared
in their defeat without being in the
slightest measure the author of
their mistaken ideas.s The church
never commanded them to fight
against the republic. The church
has no doctrine which upholds or
contemns any form Of government.
The only doctrine that is a moral
teaching on this subject is that
each person should respect the con-
sicution of his country; and the
only time that the church. as such,
has interviewed in the political af-
fairs of France was when its official
head, Pope Leo Mi, reminded the
Catholics Of France of their duty as
good citizens and advised them in a
solemn letter TO accept the republic.
Many Catholics of France were not
intelligent enough to obey him; this
was not his fault. They only fur
Rished another proof that political
acuteness is a different quality from
religious feryor"
Yet in this country, as the able
has seen, we have in many cases a
union of these qualities that is good
for both church and state. Here in
pOliticO-religiOus matters we are
passing from a good to a better
status, while in France they are
passing from a bad to a worse. The
able must wish that the free air he
has breathed in America could be
driven across to his distracted
France.
The Washington times., 1907-10-24
az PFRYERSE END-SFAT-HOG

The grouty and obstinate end-seat-hog,
Sullenly sits in it's seat Ike a log.
People passing it, getting on and of
The street car, frequently jostle the
scott.
They fall against its knees and bark
While it alternately frowns and grins.
They soil its clothes and tramp on its
And occasionally some one grabs its
nose.
All this and more I've seen happen to II,
Yet it did not seem 10 mind it a bit.
Though it's proved to me that any other
On any old street car, has the end seat
beat
When I ride on a car sit over where
People don't have 10 pass me, free from
care.
Yes. when it is possible I never fail
To sit in the seat next to the guard rail.
That is a more comfortable seat by far,
Than any OF the others on a street car.
John Anschutz-
The Washington times., 1907-10-24

Where is the comic editOr?''
COnhdingly he spoke;
! We something he'll be glad TO see.
II is funny joke.
It's hardly right that 1 should work
Down in the dry goods store,
When for my writings l could draw
Two hundred bones and more.
And some poor, seedy chap like YOU,
Who seem to need IL bad,
Gould go down where used TO work
And get the job I had
Now listen, and prepare to laugh,
And you shall hear my joke.
But promise to restrain yourself
Or else you'll surely choke:
If phone wires only hollow were
What would we most Tequest?'
Connect me with the brewery
Say, amt 1t just the best?
$50. where's the comic editor?
Wnatl You yourself are he?
Then back, back to the dry gods store
This is no place for me"
From the Kansas City Times.
The Washington times., 1907-10-24

over privilege validated in Washington.
These men have longer hours than the
detectives detailed at the central office.
They 90 on duty at 8 O'Clock in the
morning and remain until s at night
It Is necessary for them TO be on their
feet all day.
Despite these facts they receive a
much lower salary than the regular
office men, and their pay IS IN no way
commensurate with their services. They
receive 800 a month, the same as the
patrolmen OF the highest class. who
have only an eight-hour platoon.
Police Have Boen Lucky.
IN speaking Of the thieves who are
certain 70 pass through Washington
during the next few weeks. an official
OF the Police Department said today:
We have been fortunate IN the past
In preventing these men from pulling
on e. number Of big jobs. Some years
second-story men have managed 10 get
away with big hauls, and on several
occasions pickpockets have worked sue
cessfuIly.
ITO the officer experienced in detsc-
tive work 10 is an easy matter TO dis
eliminate between the work OF the
amateur and professional thief. A good
yeggman or pickpOcket viii never at
tempt a job unless he knows that there
is something to be gained. With a long
penitentary sentence staring him IN the
face. q yeggman, who knows his bust
ness will never blow a safe without
having the assurance thu" there is a
good sum 20 be obtained b. ae is success
full Professional pickpOckets always
know their man before they go 10 work
Often they viii scout around for two or
three days, following bank messengers
and others who are known 10 carry
large sums of money.
1T Is the same with the secOnd-stOry
men. They never enter a house unless
they know there are money and jewels
inside.
at Is only the amateur and cheap
thieves who take a chance Of picking
mans pocket in a street car, and often
only realize a few dollars for their
trouble
The Washington times., 1907-10-24

assuredly win not be impressed by
Representations made in that spirit.
Citizens who prize the saving of
half an hours tine in catching the
mails and possibly a full hours
time in receiving their mail should
see TO it that Congress does not dis
regard this entirely practical plan
to give them such advantages for
lack of support from the public.
The Washington times., 1907-10-24
SACRED HEART CHURCH
GIVES SUPPER TONIGHT

The women of the congregation 81 the
Church of the Sacred Heart will serve
dinner this evening from TO O'Clock
at the National Rifles ArmOTy for the
benefit Of the new rectory. now nearing
completion, at the corner Of Fourteenth
and Whitney streets northwest. A pro
gram of vocal and instrumental music
Is TO be rendered n between and
O'Clock.
On Friday and Saturday they viii
also serve luncheon at the same place,
between u and O'Clock. Hundreds Of
dirner and luncheon tickets have been
sold. and those having the matter in
hand expect to add a considerable
amount toward the rectcry fund.
The Washington times., 1907-10-24
FRANK DANIELS AT COLUMBIA
IN OPERA "THE TATToOED MANI

At the Columbia next week, Charles
Dillingham; will offer Frank Daniels in
his latest comic opera, THE Tattooed
Man." after a long run In New York.
The music is by Victor HerCert. The
iibretto IS by Harry B. Smith and A. y.
c. Fowler. For their locale the authors
have gone TO the seldom-visited land OF
Persia. In this picturesque environ
ment they have placed the pleasure-lov-
ing personality of their leading comic
figure, q travesty on Omar khayam, the
role played by Mr.. Daniels. The pro-
auction is said TO be one Of more than
ordinary magnidcence. and the scenic
artists are credited with having cap
tured the light and blossomy suggestion
peculiar TO the Shah's land of perfumes,
palms, and palaces.
The Washington times., 1907-10-24
LADIES' BELT SCHEME
BARRED FROM MAILS

The Russell suspender Company. OF
Kansas City. No, owned and operated
by Z. G. Russell, has been denied the
further use OF the United States mails.
It IS alleged that Russell offered for
sale through the mails a cheap belt for
the use OF women at 81 each, and to
each purchaser Of a belt permanent and
remuneratiye employment was guaran-
teed-doing plain sewing at home
The inspector alleges that the repre-
sensations made by Russell were almost
wholly false, and that he frankly adj
mitted his purpose was TO sell belts
and not to secure women workers.
Russell said that he had been IN business
since 1903, and had probably collected
81 each from Il, 600 or more women.
The Washington times., 1907-10-24
Secretary Roots Answer.

As though to answer the critics
who condemn the Hague Conference
for failing to accomplish in a few
.weeks what 1000 years of Christian
civilization nave failed to achieve,
Secretary Root has said;
The immediate results Of such a con-
ference must always be limited To a
small part OF the field which the more
sanguine have hoped 10 see covered.
But each successive conference will
make the positions reached in the pre-
Ceding- conference its point OF depart
ure and will bring to the consideration
of further advances toward inter
national agreement opinions affected by
the acceptance and application of the
previous agreements Each conference
viii inevitably make further progress,
and BY successive steps. results may
he accomplished which have formerly
appeared impossible.
On this ground is the conference
justified, if on no other. But he
looks at the record of the meeting
with dust in his eyes who cannot
perceive the significance of forty
four nations in conference a second
time for the promotion of peace, of
the enunciat;on in the name of
those nations of defnitive principles
limiting the causes of war, and of
the signatures of all the great ma
tons of the world save the United
States and Japan alone to treaties
providing for compulsory arbitra-
ton.
The Washington times., 1907-10-24
BYRNE BROTHERS AT ACADEMY
IN STIRRING EIGHT BELLS"

The Brothers Byrne will present their
pantOmImic comedy. Eight Bells az
the New Academy next week.
The production this season contains
a musical comedy, a farce comedy, a
paDtomime, a spectacular play, a cir
Gus, besides burIesque, which help TO
make material constructed for laughing
purposes only. The first scene is q
pretty one, representing two gardens
divided by high brick walls, with a
cottage on each side.
The second scene is a steamers deck.
and the third act represent an island
upon which the ship has been wrecked.
The Washington times., 1907-10-24
HENRY WOODRUFF RETURNS
WITH BROWN OF HARVARD"

Henry woodruff, under the direction
OF Henry Miller. Will make his second
Washington appearance in Brown or
Harvard" at the BeIsscO. commencing
Monday night. The opening night viii
be college night, and large parties OK
students from the various colleges IN
and around Washington are preparing
to give Mr.. woodruff and the typical
American college play a rousing vel
come.
The incidents OF Brown Of Harvard"
revOlVs about q race on the Charles
river. between the Harvard eight and an
English crew. contest that IS won at
the last moment by Brown" after q
traitorous fellOw-student has nearly
succeeded in humiliating his alma
mater.
MI. Woodruns role IS that OF Tom
Brown, wealthy. handsome chap. who
Is going his own way merTtly through
college, and incidentally is helping other
students.
The Washington times., 1907-10-24
THE MONK" GOT FIFTY.
SO THE CRITICS SAY:
A WARRANT IS ISSUED

NEW YORK, Oct. 2S.-Every one has
been told that there are ways of living
by ones wits In this world that the aver
age faithful plodder never dreams Of
The Monk" or II you insist on the
name that figures in the parish register.
Michael Kerrigan. is one of those who
Is aware OF this fact and turns has
knowledge to practical account
The Monk deals in evening papers.
The Washington times., 1907-10-24
Pickpocket Season Due;
What VIII Harvest Be?
Police Department Prepares for RedoubIed'
Efforts Now That Exposition Nears End and
Southern Hegira Is About to Begin.

Now that there are only a few more
weeks before the jamestown Exposition
Is brought to a close, the Washington
police are expecting that during the next
few weeks there viii be an influx to
this city of the large number OF thieves
and professional crooks who have been
sojourning during the summer at the
tideWater cities.
As the crowds begin to thin out at
the exposition grounds. the pickpockets,
sneak thieves, and others who are al
ways attracted by expositions and fairs
viii begin to wend their way back 10
their favorite haunts in New York and
other cities in the East There are also
large numbers of crooks who annually
90 South for the winter, and this is the
time of year when they begin TO seek a
warmer climate.
All Pass Through Capital.
Washington. as the gateway to the
South, IS the one city that travellers to
and from the North are obliged to pass
through. 1t is a well-known fact that
thieves endeavor 10 pull of at least one
Job IN every large city on their routes.
Il Is with a view OF preventing these
men from stopping on in the National
Capital that Major Sylvester has two
detectives stationed az each Of the rail-
way stations.
Detective Edward Horne. who is de-
tailed at the Sixth street station, IS one
OF the veterans on the force, and his
long experience in this line of work has
amply qualified him for his task at the
station.
Horne knows more professional yegg-
men, secOnd-stOry men, and gamblers
than any other man on the force. and
he is able to pick out a suspicious char
acter the minute he steps of a train.
Detective Sears. who does duty at the
Baltimore and Ohio Is also an expert
enced detective and does much 10 pre-
vent the thieves from getting their stop
The Washington times., 1907-10-24
For a Better Mail Service.

The pOstoffice is an agency Of pub
lie convenience before it is anything
else. 1t should be located, housed,
organized, and managed for the con-
venience of all the people of the
city, before any other consideration
is weighed. The convenience of all
the people lies in the prompt collee-
ton of outgoing mail and the equal
~ prompt distribution of incoming
mail, together with the maintenance
of stations properly located for the
sale of stamps, the registry of val
liable mail, the collection of special
delivery letters. and the distribu-
ton Of pieces addressed to the gen
eral delivery.
This is the only platform upon
which any city can hope to obtain
good local mail service. 1t is pre-
ciseIy the platform set forth on
this page yesterday by Benjamin F,
Barnes, now at the head of the
Washington Postoffice. If, then,
the plan Mr.. Barnes cOmmends gives
reasonable promise of collecting and
distributing our mail more prompt
" than now and does not sacrifice
the public convenience by withdraw
ing needed station service, he has
every reason 70 expect the hearty
support of ali the people he serves
His plan is TO transfer the general
business of the City Postoffice from
the corner of Eleventh street and
Pennsylvania avenue TO the tracks
of the new Union Station, a mile
away. Every feature of station
service, the sale of stamps, registry
of valuable letters, and the like. will
be continued at the present head
quarters. Possibly even the general
delivery may not be removed. But
the greater business of the Office
the receiving of incoming mail, the
distribution of it to the carriers,
the starting of them toward the cit
liens place of business and his
house, and the receiving and sort
ing of outgoing mail and the deliv-
cry of it to the train at the latest
possible mOment-this Mr.. Barnes
would have done where reaching
the mail cars would be a matter Of
only two minutes, instead of half an
hour, as at present.
Briefly, this project is to eliminate
the present hauling of the mails in
wagons. It is a step which any
non-goyernmeDtal business would
have been taken long ago. It viii
unquestionably make for an i'm
proved service and it viii save prae-
ticaIly the whole cost of the present
hauling in money as well as in time
Though Mr.. Barnes is a leading
supporter of this plan and one of
its ablest champions, he is not its
originator. The project of re-locat-
ing city postoffices as indicated is,
HI 4dCts Ou4F a oICP u AUAAAAA TIC
general purpose of the Roosevelt
Administration to make the postal
service thoroughly business-like and
has been studied and developed by
Mr.. Cortelyou, Mr.. Meyer, Mr..
Hitchcock, and even the President,
as well as Mr.. Barnes.
Through the crowding of the
Postofice building, opportunity Of
fers to give the Capital the benefit
of this improved service without de-
lay. The only opposition to it
locally has its rise either in a mis-
understanding of the plan or in
Judgment slanted by interest in the
vicinity of the present headquar-
ters. Congress ought not be and
The Washington times., 1907-10-24

ence Moore, and the motion pictures de-
plotting Liquid Electricity"
Master Gabriel the diniTu tfve com
edian. Is a prime favorite here. He
presents a new Buster comedy,
''Auntie's Visit" Edwin Stevens. with
the talented assistance OF Miss Tina
Marshall and company OF unusual
ability. viii present as the added at
traction, An Evening with Dickens"
Miss Sabry D'Orsell, the prima donna
soprano. viii be the third important
feature. The other numbers are AL
listed as comedy novelties.
The Washington times., 1907-10-24
ELMENDoRF TO LECTURE
ON THE GRAND CANYON

The third illustrated lecture fl Dwight
L. Elmendorfs present course Of travel
talks on American subjects viii be
given at the New National Th6ater next
Monday afternoon at 40 O'Clock.
Before actually reaching the Grand
Canyon. Nj. ElmendOTf conducts his
audience through several wonderful
gorges and Canyons. After viewing the
Royal Gorge scenes Of an Alpine tunnel
are shown that bring to mind the mar
vicious engineering feats In Switzerland.
The Washington times., 1907-10-24
..WiIIiams, ideals at Lyeeum.

The attraction announced at the New
Lyceum for next week is Williams
Ideals" The girls Of the company are
said TO display costly gowns TO telling
advantage. Frank Murphy. Jack Magee,
Al Gruett. Clayton Frey, Jack Gruett
and Perrin SOmmers are the fun
makers.
The first sxit is called a Day al the
Beach" The other buTletta is Isle OF
The Washington times., 1907-10-24
MASTER GABRIEL AT CHASES
IN NEW BUSTER" COMEDY

Chase's bill next week offers Master
Gabriel and company; Edwin Stevens,
assisted by Miss Tina Marshall and COM
pany. Sabry D'Orsell. Dorsch and Rus
sell, Martinetti and Sylvester. Arthur
Whitelaw, Billie Montgomery. and Flor
The Washington times., 1907-10-24
CARMEN TO BE PRODUCED
AT MAJESTIC NEXT WEEK

Scenic artists are preparing new stage
settings for the production OF Carmen
at the Majestic Theater next week. The
play will be presented with careful re-
gard for every detail, and with Miss
Kathryn Purnen appearing in an emo
ing should prove q popular one Tho
story Of the play is we'll known, and the
intense convincing manner in which II
IS told holds the spectators interest at
iligh Mitch
The Washington times., 1907-10-24

OF What IS going on behind the foot
lights Some people take this seri-
ously. the critics themselves generally
keep scrsp books that fairly bulge with
wat they themselves have got into
type. But the real test Of the sue
cess or failure Of a play Is meas
u-ed by the size OF the crowd that
comes out between the acts and lines up
along the nearby bars. Judged by this
infallible standard the present "attrac-
ton" at the Herald Square Theater
must be playing to capacity"
And that Is why "The Monks con-
cession is particularly valuable Just
now, and why Gus" stands guard at
the door and bars other newsbOys from
the place so vigorously.
Friday evening Is not usually one that
the box office Of a theater has any
special affection for. II is one OF the
nights when professional cards are rec
ognized, and anybody that ever has
played a bit on the road even Is sure
OF getting a couple of seats. But for
all that last Friday night during the
long inJeTmissiOn after the first act the
Herald Square cafe afforded the most
fattering appreciation of the perform
anCe next door that any che with any
personal interest could care TO see.
The Washington times., 1907-10-24
Scribner's SHOW at GaYety.

The bill at the Gayety Theater for
next week viii be Sam A. Scrbner's big
snow There are thirty girls in this
company, and they wear picturesque
costumes. The scenery. trappings. and
modern stage appliances are said TO be
elaborate. The Olio embraces a number
of novelties by specially artists. Bowen
and Lima, direct from Paris viii De the
extra attraction.