davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-03

mint an havin fired another salute Of two
hundherd an four guns FIR tn govnors
sicrety an INSTRUCTED tn band to play
Gawd Save tn King he wint ashore. On
his way to TIL rooned capital he came
acrost a boatload of American citizens
takin' refuge firm a British ship on tn
wobbly but more frindly land. TIL feelin'
Nv tn native-born Anglo-SaXons on boOrd
this ship toord their cousins was SO
sthrong an warm that they wud not per-
nit thin to share tn rigors iv life on tn
perlouS waves with an awful smell iv
cookin' comm firm tn galley an nav
thin to sleep in but cots. No, sir. They in
sisted that they accept TIL hospitality Nv a
neighborin' dock. Sir ALI Jones even press
in tn hospitality so far as to threaten
to throw thin overheard If they didn't
lave at wanst.
I'VE may guess, Hinnissy, what a sacri-
flee our cousins were maxim to men an
women that they'd niver met befure nor
hoped to meet again, but that were bound
to thin be language common to both,
though spoken through diff'rent features
Nv tn face. FIR tn luxurious docky was
open to tn ginrous sun be day an tn
kindly moon be night. 1t had niver been
used except to store molasses, rum an
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-03

colored gintlemen an twas swept be
ocean breezes always, be tn ignoble broom
seldom Our fellow citizens were much
gratifed be this almost overwhelming out
burst Nv hearty old English hospitality
that they passed resolutions askin' tn
United States governmint to land supplies
in Kingston be inclosin' thin in twelve
inch shells an shootin' thin at tn gov
nors palace.
9TH admiral proceeded on shore an
wfnt to make an officyal call on tn gov nor
TIL RECEPTION was characteristic iv that
old-fashioned good cheer that commerce an
tn greed Nv Americans is desthroyin' TIL
admiral was allowed to stand in tn out
side office FIR as long time as he wanted
Thin a ruddy, janial face appeared at tn
dure an says: James, tell him I've gone
eight
Here, Hinnissy, I'd like to read we a
sketch iv this great man that has done
SO much to bind two sister nations in a
perfect knot an to show that though blood
may be thicker thin water heads are
thicker still. Sir Aleck Sweatingham was
born in Fothringham Court Road in tn
year eighteen thirty-four. He was a MINI
Der iv an illusthrees family that had not
been out Nv TIL parish FIR four cinchries.
Arly in life he showed traits that marked
him FIR diplomatic career. No wan cud
get along with him. At six he kicked a
maiden lady who offered him ginger bread !;
at nine he bit tn parson who thried to
make him = present w a dhrum Such
traits cud not be lightly pushed aside 1t
was clear that he was destined be nature
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-03
life he for diplomatic career

not think twas wise to sind Bob Evans
himsilf so soon afther tn earthquake. Bob
Evans picked out la-ad be tn name iv
Davis. an he got together our warships an
rushed off to Kingston.
" Twas all right. If there was an Eng
lishman in throuble in tn next house I'd
thry TO f'rget what his folks done to mine,
an no wan wud be quicker to his bedside
thin this Anglo-Saxon What I'd do to
him afther he got out iv tn hospital might
be diff rent. l have great feelin' FIR hu-
man sufferin an l don't know that don't
feel sorrier FIR an Englishman in throuble
thin FIR annywan else. I've got to keep fir m
laughin. Besides, If there's wan use I'd
like to put a warship to 1t wud be to make
a grocery wagon or an ambulance out iv it..
] wish whin tn Prsidlnt gets through usin'
tn. navy to relieve foreign disthress that
oI'y feels relieved whin tn navy goes away
he'd INSTRUCT it to sail up tn canal to
Ar-rchey Road prepared to hurl a broad
side Nv overcoats. boots, condinsed milk, an
flannel bandages at our neighborhood. Since
this cold snap set in we've been a somewhat
sthricken community Ourselves.
well, away whit Admiral Davis an
steamed into Kingston Harbor an first
aid to tn injured made a searchlight dis
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-03

most see this long line of great Irish
mobiles and chieftains in their shining ar
NOR or In silk attire, beribboned and be-
laced; one can almost hear the clash of
the seemingly everlasting swords and
then-when one stops reading, comes re-
membrance Of the shame that has come
to the house, the public condemnation of
the present day scion of this glittering pro-
cession of glorious Irishmen.
Hubert George de Burgh Canning, Wis.,
count Burke Of Clanmorris, County Mayo,
Baron Dunkelin, County Galway, Earl of
Clanricarde of Ireland, Baron Somerhill of
the United Kingdom and Marquis of Clan
ricardo, Is now seventy-four years old. He
Is confirmed bachelor. Many of his titles
will die with him. The Marquis of Sligo,
property and lesser titles.
Lord Clanricarde was the second son, his
brother, Ulick, Lord Dunkellin, the heir
to title and estates, dying at the age of
forty, a colonel in the guards. The pres
ent marquis went into the diplomatic serv-
ice, like his father, who was a famous am
bassador. In ten years he had risen no
higher than second secretary at the minis
try at Turin. He abandoned the service
when his brother died. He then sat foI
four years as a member of the house OF
commons On his fathers death, thirty
three years ago, he threw aside all pre-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-03

to rule over tn swarthy thribes upon whom
alone the sun iv England sets an sets
hard.
While still mere youth he was dis
patched to tn Island iv Booloojoo. in tn
Indyan Sea, where he soon made a name
FIR himsilf be formin the native Rajahs
into church Nv England Defnse LEAGUE.
His rise was rapid. First appointed in
thirty-four, in sixty-three he was promoted
to tn gov-norship iv tn popylus Island
Nv Gazip, in tn Gulf Nv BAT; population,
1860, two whites, five millyon blac''s; sal
airy, two millyon pice, (s5O.) In ruln'
this difficult province he made a great
reputation, which extended as far as tn
borders Nv Swat. A man Nv iron, cold an
hard, he inthrajooced hanson cabs dhrawn
be natives instead Nv tn old-fashione,, rick
shaw, induced tn Rajah to throw away his
pagan turban an adopt TIL more seemly
stovepipe hat, started a muffin bakery, an
took steps to aboli L plural marredses.
Fourteen years later a still more i'm
portant honor was lavished on him. Whin
tn Gov-norship Nv Plaguetown, on tn East
Coast, was made vacant tn last name that
occurred to tn Colonyal Office was Aleck
Sweatingham, an he was appinted. Afther
survivin' FIR iliven years in this arjoos post
he was again promoted at tn request Nv tn
on'y other white man in tn colony, an
rayceived tn important post iv Gov-nor Nv
Jamaica, an honor which few achieve an
still fewer desire This completes tn
career iv tn gre-reat man, which may soon
be grounded out be his bein' fired
Ivrywhere he whit he made frinds where
he'd been befure. In all tn countries
where he ruled he left reputation fr
janiality an repose. At Taste, he niver had
it with him whin he showed up at tn new
jop.
1T was this mighty statesman that our
humble admiral thried to meet. Admiral
Davis was overcome be his rayceptfon. We
don't expect our dear cousins to gush over
us. They ARE more self-contained thin we
ARE. Behind their rugged chests beat
warm an gin-rous hearts, but they find 1t
hard to say anything pleasant without
cholIin', an Admiral Davis was surprised
as we'll as charmed by Alexis greetings.
He said he had niver met polite an
Englishman. In his gratichood he landed
throops to dhrive naygur prisoners back into
JAIL put up awnings on stores, an hitch
tn horses to tn sthreet cars In tn an
initiated city. He.was amazed to receive
almost instantly an ELUSIVE dispatch in tn
following language: Get out iy here on
I'll heave arr a brick at ye.' Tn admiral
replied: 'Gawd bless We FIR ye'er kind
wurruds 1t is happiness to me to meet
ye'er Ixcillincy's approval. 1t shows that
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-03

in the house of lords. In fact outside Of
Ireland his name even has been forgotten.
Ireland, it is safe to say, he will never
again see His life would not be worth a
cent should he ever step ashore there 1t
is doubtful II when he dies he will ever be
gathered to his fathers and receive burial
in Portumna Castle, where lie SO many Of
his illustrious ancestors. The Irish will
probably object.
1t is interesting to note that in the his
tory of Ireland there have only been two
former cases in which bills have been In
troduced in parliament to deprive man
of his possessions and rights.
The first affected Viscount Strangford
Dean of Down in 1884. He had been found
guilty. of criminal corruption and was de-
prived of the right 10 sit in parliament or
Of sitting and voting on the trials of peers.
The second was the case of Sir John Par
uell, eldest son Of the Irish chancellor Of
the exchequer. He was cripple, dumb
and of defective intellect. Parliament by
a special act set aside his succession to
the estates in 1889 and on the death of his
father, In 1901, his brother succeeded.
CHARLES BYNG HALL.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-03
Sir Aleck Writes an Effushive Dis
notch


patch.
ships in tn harbor that not a sound issued
firm thin. Admiral Davis was highly
pleased with tn episode. Those who heerd
his comments say he is splendidly qualified
to fill Bob Evanss place in tn hearts Nv tn
American Navy.
AN there we ARE, Hinnlssy; another
link forged in tn chain that hooks us up to
our Motherland. 1t is such occurrences
that makes US know that though sturdy
Briton may be slow in speech, he still
cherishes tn proper feelin' tord this coun-
thry. Bother tn bluff kick in tn eye thin
TIL soft answer that turneth away our
wrath an tn kick in tn eye aftherward.
Aleck has cleared up good nanny doubts
in my mind Nv where we stand IL we're
cousins at all. Jake Schiff an President
Hadley an belong to an infeeryor branch
Nv tn family an ought to be treated as
such. Besides KNOWN how relations act
to'rd each other, If I've got to be amy kind
iv relation let 1t be distant possible.
I'm sorry they're goin' to fire Aleck. He's a
good man who's done something FIR tn
wurruiu. I'm sorry fr thin If they fire
him, FIR they'll have to take him home. II
they want to punish him they ought to
make him perpetchool Gov-nor ~ jamaica"
What did they want to sind tn navy
FIR, anyhow" asked Mr. Hennessey
Maybe ye're right" said Mr.. Dooley. Il
think mesilf this navy Nv ours is gettin
into TIL habit Nv runnin' to fires. It's all
right to rescue people fir m burning build
in, but think I'd wait till I was asked.
Maybe TIL man wud rather be burned to
death thin have cousin rescue him an
have it tn tax Nv tn family FIR tin years.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-03
<<TVYR ELL, Sir" said Mr.. Dooley,
$$A "a hand acrost tn sea has
AA4 been extended TO US again.
wv We rayceived it undher tn


Wv We rayceived it undher tn
did We read about 1t? Ye didn't?
Well. twas this way. Our fellow
Anglo-Saxons own an island somewhere be-
yant Cuba where they raise rum, molasses,
ginger an naygurs FIR tn EXPORT thrade.
It's firm there we get tn sturdy blacks
that may be seen amy day smoking cigar
eets an playin' cards while diggin' tn
Pearl Nv tn Anti Hills, and If England had
a few more iv thin she'd be broke. Well,
tn other day an earthquake come along an
shook II up. 1t mustve been a good deal
~ jolt FIR almost as nanny people were
kilt be II die in this country amy cold
day firm not havin' good enough shoes. 1t
was pretty bad, an were a good-hearted
people at heart, dye mind, an ivrybody,
even thin unhappy people that can't be
sure they are Anglo-Saxons on account iv
their parentage were in favor iv dom
somethin fr tn poor creatures.
us Anglo looked on it another
way. Twas not to nurse tn injured nor
feed tn hungry that we called on TIL Prisi-
dint to sind ships to Kingston, but twas to
bind up tn wounds in wan iv tn exthremi-
ties iv our Mother Country. Til Anglo
its Chairman, tn Hon. Isaac Guggenheim
TIL Prisidint with tears in his eyes or
dhered Bob Evans to sind somebody else to
Jamaica to help our cousins an prove again
that blood is stickier than water. He did
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-03

play an fired tn customary salute iv four
hundherd an eight guns. 1t was arly in
tn avenin' an the gov'nor havin' issued
proclamations relievin' disthress ontil tea
time, was enioyin' well-arned slumber.
But he got up at wanst an rayturned TIL
complimint in tn most gracious terms. He
wrote a note to tn admiral as follows:
Shut up ye'er darn guns an get out iv here.
Ye make me head ache
The admiral, bein' an Anglo-Saxon
firm Boston. where Jawnny Fitz is mayor,
was much moved be this delicate compile
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-03

If We don't hurry I'll send a naygur polls
man to run We in. If amy safe was took
We stole 1t ye'ersif and have it hid now in
wan iv ye'er scows. I've a good mind to
go aboard an search We. Miserable Yankee
fry says he. Take tn eastern channel
he says. There are rocks there an some
sharks he says.
Admiral Davis cud not thrust himsilf to
a reply in writing. He wint at wanst to
call on tn gallant an courteous riprisintive
Nv his Majesty. What passed between the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-03

two ENJOYS iv tn wur-ruld's powers will
niver be known. 1t was too sacred to be
repeated. 1t is enough to say that whin
Admiral Davis come firm tn mansion tn
gov-nor's right eye was black with grief
an he carried a large an vallyable axe
which he was thryin to presint to tn ad-
miral. TIL Constitution frbids our officers
acceptin' presints FIR dom their jooty SIM
ply an we'll. That night, havin' completed
their errand Nv mercy, tn fleet sailed away
an so sthrong was tn feelin' aboord tn
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-03
Company Stores Barred.
from EyerYhndY'a MAGAZINE.

FROM EveryDOdys Magazine.
Once New Zealand had many company
stores, and, as with us, one of their sweet
results had been that some of the families
enslaved to these delectable institutions
never saw any money from one years end
to anothers. They were continually In
debt at the company store; whatever they
needed they must get from the company
store; the only inheritance they could
leave to their children was this lifelong
and hopeless account at the company store.
Even when the purchases were made at
reasonably fair prices the thing was a
swindle. The employer owned the store.
He therefore. in effect, paid the men in
goods at retail prices that he had bought
at wholesale prices. But the cases where
the prices were reasonable were few, and
where the employer made diligent use Of
his opportunity the game was burglary.
Some years ago, when 1 was investigating
the anthracite coal mines of Pennsylvania,
I found that the run of prices at the COM
pany stores averaged 80 per cent higher
than they should have been, and the miners
be discharged. At the same time the law
of the state absolutely prohibited company
stores and almost every coal mine had one.
Well? What could you expect? 1t was
Pennsylvania, you know, and names were
so easy.
In New Zealand when they pluck up an
old villainy-they fetch away roots and all.
They didn't namby-pamby with negligible
laws prohibiting company stores, but made
company stores impossible by providing
that all wages must be paid in cash, and
nothing but cash, and without deductions
for Indebtedness. True. II workman's
wages were $50 a month and he owed $16.
it was not possible to give i'm $14 and a
receipt for the amount he owed. He must
be paid in full $50, even IL ne returned SIC
of 1t the next moment. Also, wages must
be paid within twenty-four hours of a de-
mand for them. and wages Of less than SO
week were exempt from attachment from
any source. provision that practically
abolished the loan shark.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-03

turtles has been Londons most noted and
exclusive bachelor quarters. The Albany is
an ancient pile of stone buildings, situated
near the eastern end Of the northern side
OF Piccadilly, and running back into Bur-
lington Gardens. 1t has entrances from
both streets. There some thirty suites
of chambers occupied for term of years
by men Of high and low degree, who. how
ever always have the qualification of plen-
tiful money. The Albany is an expensive
place in which to live. But it is the ideal
as regards bachelor quarters. There are
no obnoxious rules and regulations. Some
Of the smartest breakfasts and afternoon
teas of London society are given at The
Albany.
The marquis suite of rooms are not lux
uriously furnished, as is the rule. Yet the
value of the belongings in his rooms Is
greater than all the rest Of The Albany to-
gether. His visitors, especially of later
years, are few and far between. Two or
three decades ago, however, there was no
gayer entertainer than the marquis. Yet
his parties numbered but half a score of
people.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-03

Lord Clanricarde is known not at all to
his equals in British or European society
For many years he has gradually crept fur
Their and further into his shell. He is
known to picture dealers and to dealers in
rare china and articles Of vertu.> The mar
quis is a man of great accomplishments, of
much culture, of superb polish. He can
in all the world one of the greatest con-
noisseurs Of china and one Of the most dis
eliminating critics of art. AS a judge of
paintings of the French school it is con-
coded he has no living equal.
The marquis has spent hundreds of thou
sands of dollars upon French pictures ana
china. He keeps on spending. There is not
space on the walls of his rooms for a post
age stamp, and yet he buys more pictures,
more china. 1t is a mystery what he does
with all his purchases--as much a mystery
as the man himself is today. It is said
that he uses Sore of his rooms as minia-
ture storage warehouse and piles I'D the
pictures there.
The noble lord nowadays dresses very
shabbily, somewhat after the style of the
late Russell Sage. So far as can be dis
covered, no photograph of him is in exist
ence. One could hardly tell him, IL judging
by clothes, from his valet. This old man,
Murtagh O'Brien. as old, as ill-favored and
as crusty as his master, Is the marquis
foster brother He Is more companion
nowadays than servant. Yet he guards his
master well and still personally attends
him. The marquis has five servants alto
gether AZ his bachelor chambers, including
a good cook. He travels much abroad, par
ticularly to Switzerland, for the skating.
He is a superb skater, and about the only
view Londoners ever get OF him is at
Princes Skating Club, the rink owned by
the Duchess of Bedford and attended by
the smart set. When skating there the
marquis, no matter what happens, refuses
to open his lips to man, woman or child
Numberless women have tried to scrape
acquaintance with the rich old bachelor
nobleman. But they might as well have
tackled the Sphinx.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-03
~Sir A1eck Sweatngham and OR English Cousins"

we ar-re bound together be ties Nv common
brotherhood an tn common language Nv
SHAKESPEARE an others 1 have tn honor
to rapport that TIL feet undher my COM
mand has put up tent, started two gro
GERS in business, an protected safe firm
bein' robbed
ITO which Aleck replied heartily: 1 don't
know what tn divvle We name be COM
mon language, but if ye're not out Nv here
by noon yell hear some language that
commoner thin amy liver used be SNAKE
spere whoiver he may be. Get out, l say
Chase ye'rsilf Beat 1t to tn deep sea.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-02-03

airship alone being supplied with motors
and towing the other three after 1t at a
prodigious rate of speed. Each train Will
suffice to transport 900 fully armed and
equipped German soldiers
~
The universal shindy starts in 1913 with
another war between Japan and Russia, in
which the Japs administer a crushing de-
feat to the colossus of the north by means
of their magnificent aerial fleets. 1t Is
followed by a revolution In Russia, in which
the RomanOff dynasty is overthrown. The
car, besieged in his palace, appeals to the
kaiser by wireless teegraphy to save him
from the mob which clamors for his life.
The kaiser responds to his appeal by carry
ing him off in one of his matchless airships.
Anarchy ensues in Russia. Out of the
chaos energies a second Napoleon In the
person of Suvaroff, young Russian engi-
neer, who is master of the art of aerial
navigation. He Is made president of the
Russian republic and goes in for airshfps
wholesale. By their means Russia again
becomes mighty power, which threatens
to dominate Europe. Suvaron gets himself
proclaimed Gar of Russia under the name
of Michael and sets about preparing to
subjugate the rest of the world.
Then the kaiser takes hand in the game
by declaring war on Russia. The imagina-
ton of the most lurid dime novelist never
depleted such awful battles as take place
between the flying warships of Germany
and Russia. From dizzy heights they drop
destructive DOmDS on nOStlle armies 1Hey
riddle one another with shells, they ram
each other in midair, and the wrecks fall
ing from heights of 10000 feet are smashed
to smithereens. The combatants are pro-
vided with parachutes in lieu of lifebelts,
and thus many of them. after their air.
ships are destroyed. succeed in reaching
terra firma safely and renew the struggle
there
One scene describes the raid of a Rus
sian air feet in Berlin, led by the usurper
Michael, who pulverizes the German capt.
tai by raining bombs of tremendous ex-
plosve power upon 1t and destroys thou
sands of German troops. But, of course.
the new Napoleon ultimately meets his
Waterloo, through the superior courage
and skill Of the German warriors of the air,
and Russia has to accept the terms or
peace dictated by the kaiser. Then having
make himself master OF the world. Eng
land, stripped of her colonies, becomes
mere dependency Of Germany.
For the comfort Of those who may be dis
posed to take this German professors pipe
dream" seriously. the comment of Sir
Hiram Maxim. the Angiicized American
knight is worth quoting.
IT do not imagine that we need lie awake
at nights troubling ourselves about the
Germanization Of the planet on which we
think the Rev. R. J. Campbell of the City
Temple Is in a much better position to
work a revolution in the western world
than the Emperor William, whose flying
machines have not yet been built. There
Is no question about It, however. that n.y.
we shall then have a new problem to solve.
but am willing to bet my bottom dollar
that the Anglo-Saxon race will not be left
completely out In the cold"