davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12
AGE LIMIT FOR RAILWAY MEN.
Rule Against Employing New Men Past
IS Dead Letter.

Some railroads out-Oslerized Osler not
long ago by adopting q rule forbidding
the employment of new men past 80
years of age.
1t is gratifying, says The Railway Car
mems Journal, TO learn that the absur-
dity of limiting the age at which a rail-
way man is eligible for employment is
passing away more rapidly than the pro-
moters of such measure expected.
Already the principal roads in Ameri-
ca where the experiment has been tried
have abandoned the regulation. The
Boston & Maine, the Alton, the ST.
Paul and the Burlington are virtually ig-
noring the age limit regulation, and.
guided by common sense, are hiring men
more with a view to their qualifica ions
than to the exact number of years which
they may have lived.
Experience and capability are the real
tests of a mans fitness for any position
and if railway official makes the mis-
take of hiring an incompetent man there
is no law compelling the company 10
continue to employ him. Years in them
selves are no criterion.
Some men are old at 40 Others are
young at go. In any event it is safe to
assume that a lack of the suopleness of
youth is often more than made up for
by the wider experience of added years.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12
Heartless Sheila Shea

Shure, the parish is so quiet,
Shella Shea,
All the folks are saddened by II
In a way,
An the whole O. thin are waitin'
Fur the joy O. celebratin'
Somethin lively; like weddin' let us say.
Shure, We know il Is the duty
VI girl that's blessed wild beauty
10 be careful not to let 1t waste away
Do you hear me, Shelia Shea?
Shure, how can We be SO gay,
via such quiet all about We, that We sing
the liye-long day?
Has no sense o. sorrow found We,
Shella Shea?
FAX, the world revoives around We,
An it's gray.
sun, the spell will soon be broken,
Fur, although We have not spoken
Sorra word o. what I've begged of ye to
say,
If We will not grace weddin'.
lis meseif will soon be dead, an
Ihere's some comfort in funeral, any
way.
Do You hear me, SAella Shea?
Shure, how can We be SO gay,
WId my breakin' heart so near We, that ye
sing the liyelong day?
Catholic Standard and Times
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12
Why It Was Red.

The late Mr.. Duffy of Keene. n. NJ,
was well known for his wit as for his
manly virtues, among which was that of
lifelong total abstinence from intOxi-
cants, which seemed somewhat at vari-
ance with the fact that his nose was
very red.
On one occasion. when on business in
q liquor saloon in his neighborhood, a
drummer came in to sell cigars. TO gain
the good graces of the bartenders he in
vited all in the place to have a drink,
to which invitation all readily responded
save Mr.. Duffy.
The drummer went to him and. slap
ping him on the shoulder. said:
Il say, old man-what are you going
to haye?
Il thank you sir-r, but l niver
drink" was Duffy's quiet reply.
What? You never drink" said the
drummer, with a sarcastic laugh. Now,
If you never drink, will you please tell
us what makes that nose of yours so
redT
The impertinence Of the questioner at
once aroused the Feasibility of the old
gentleman, and he replied:
"Sir-r, it is glowing with pride be-
cause it kept out of other peoples bust
ness. st. Paul Pioneer Press.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12

San Franciseo's confiagration as an
after incident of the earthquake of last
spring has not, apparently, warned all
the people OF that city and vicinity to
bui;,! substantial structures which will
be "slow burners" or absolutely proof
against fire. The Call of a recent date
contains a picture of the partly complet-
ed Clarement hotel, at Berkeley, the
university city across the bay. This pic
ture shows a frame or veneered building
of five stories, whose walls are being
rrshed, as the dispatch states, by the
merry men who pound the nails and ham
die the hammers" Imagine clapboarded
or veneered hotel of five stories, in this
era of construction in the country at
large! When capitalists put $1,000,000
into a hotel of 400 rooms they should
erect building that affords more safety
to travellers.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12
Wanted Company.

''Dr. Chester, at . O'Clock Of hit.
ter winter morning, drove four miles TO .
patients house. On his arrival, the M.
tient said:
:" Doctor, l amt in any particular
pain, but, somehow or other. | feel tbat
death is nigh
DIR. Chester examined the man. felt
his pulse, listened to his heart Then
he said:
Have you made your willT
The mans face fell. and he turned
pale. ''''
why, no, doctor. At my age-there
seemed time enough yet-oh, Doc. t
amt true. is it. that
WHO is your lawyer DR.. Chester
interrupted.
'Higginbotham.'
Then you had better send for him At
once said Chester curtly. Who's your
pastorT
1.-The Rev. Kellogg NJ. Brown the
patient answered in low, tremuOus
voice. But. doctor. do you think
Send for him. said Chester. DOS,
haste. Your mother, too, should be sum,
moned, also your
The patient began to blubber softly
Say, doctor, do you think I'm going
to die for sure? he walled
DIR. Chester, looking az him hard
replied:
"'No, / don't. There's nothing atM
the matter with you. But l hate A@
the only man you've made fool Of to
night. Los Angeles Times.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12
Malay'S Homeland,

One. day a man, apparently white,
came into the best restaurant in Atlanta.
The head waiter looked him over and
thought he had negro blood in him. In
fact, he was very light ,quadroon.
Here, you" the head waiter said,
you are coloredr'
"Oh, no. l amt" the man replied.
Not in the sense you mean"
But you are mighty dark
Il know | am. but that is because
am a Malay"
The head waiter was nonplussed. He
looked again, and then asked suspicious
~: What is a Malay? Where is he
from?"
Why" said the man, easily. 'Malays
are from Malaria. San Francisco Ar
gonaut
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12
Begins Life Early.

When I was very little boy writes
Sir William Gregory in his autoOlogln a
ply, my grandfather. who was ~, tnt ~
under secretary for Ireland took n me IN
the chief secretary's room IN DaOt ~
castle and formally introduced me -
Lord Melbourne. 90, rs. SOM,
After / had been with him for '0LD'
little time he said: u.l;r. here
''Now, my boy, is there anyt"lnS ~
you would like?" ..,.., very
eyes" l answered pointing 10 VIZ
large stick &C sealing wax ,r.,horrre.
'That's right" said Lora, M VIZ. NE
pressing on me bundle Of ,oiong 70
gin life early. All these Things a, mist ,onst ar
the public, and your bushes; business, l as much
ways be ed to get Sgf 0L '95 WeeSy
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12

Diving at the age of 103, Miss Adelne
Thomson of Philadelphia was even more
remarkable in the way she chung to the
far-cone social fashions of her girlhood.
when she was a belle, so that she still
wore at dinner u low-necked gown, and
,pent her evenings in stately rigor of
ceremony, even if she spent them alone,
or when some unusual entertainment
we're given. she would grace it with her
scrupulous and aristocratic dignity, add
ing a crown of distinction TO the occa-
sion. She was daughter of Edward
Thomson. banker and merchant; one
brother was Rear Admiral Edward
Thomson of the navy; another was John
II. Thomson, a United States senator
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12

would be waiting for them. But now he
saw something which made him shudder
and made his heart beat violently.
Across the snow covered plain came
rushing crowd of dark figures. They
were coming directly towards the sleigh
The moon went behind the dark cloud,
but Nicholas knew what he had seen.
Those figures were wolves, which the
storm had driven toward the west. They
all began to howl and rushed toward
them.
Nicholas brain worked even faster
than before. There was no time to lose;
he must do something. The count was
sleeping. Nicholas could unhitch the
horse and jump on its back and ride away
and leave the count to his fate. But no;
he must keep the promise which he had
given to his brothers. There was only
one escape; the count must not be sacri-
feed to the wolves.
There was not time TO get the sleigh
free, for the wolves were already quite
near. The count must take the horse,
and he (Nicholas) must stay there He
thought 'if Paroff had used his brain and
Ivan his tongue to carry out his plan, it
is no more than right that should sacri-
flee my life to make it a success. The
count must get home before morning.
He woke up his master and told him
of the danger and of his plan. AS soon as
he heard the word wolves the count
turned pale as ghost, jumped out of the
sleigh, helped Nicholas to unhitch the
horse and jumped on its back just as
he was about to gallop away he heard
the howl of the wolves and, moved by
feeling of pity, he threw his revolver to
Nicholas with the words: Fight until the
| last"
"Tell my brothers that have done my
duty" replied Nicholas firmly.
Count Boroff reached home in the
dawn, which marked the beginning of the
day which was to be his last.
As soon as Nicholas was alone he
turned towards the wolves. The count
was to 10 punished, so what did it mat
ter what became of him. Immovable as
statue he stood there until the wild
beasts We're all around him, then he fired
the six shots from his revolver and in a
few minutes was torn to pieces.
The next week the body of the count
was found on the terrace outside his cas-
tie. The whole house and all the cot
tages surrounding it had been deserted,
and peasants and servants had all gone.
Nicholas was never found, for wolves do
J NAA L. L
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12
Gotham Gets a Boost.

Mark Twain's references to from
heaven to New York" as encompassing
all things recalls the story of a little girl
who spent a summer in Manhattan Her
father was pastor of a church in a small
interior city, and she missed the excite
ment of the metropolis when few weeks
had elapsed after the return.
One day she climbed on her mamma
lap and asked:
Mother, is God here and all around
usY"
''Yes, dearie."
"In school, in church, evcrywhee
around here?' she persisted
Eyes"
"Well. then, mother, let's 60 to New
York, where God amt. -lndlanapois
Star.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12
A Driller. All Right.

An Irishman looking for work took his
stand in a group at the gate of a large
engineering establishment. BY and by
the foreman came up to the gate and
asked:
Are there any drillers here?'
Yes" said Pat stepping forward
lie got the job at once, but he had not
been working long at the machine when
it broke down. The foreman, in any
thing but a pleasant mood, then in
CURED:
Where. man, did you learn drilling?"
In the militia" was Pats reply
l. ndon Tit-Bits.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12
Needless Expense.

In a certain town in the north of
England recently, an old couple were
driving down a steep hill in their cart.
Somehow the horse was startled, and
it set off at full gallop down the hill.
This terrified the old lady, who said to
her husbands:
"Eh. John. I'd give a sovereign to be
out o. thisr'
Keep your money in your pocket;
tha'll be out for nothing in a minute"
replied her husband-and she was
Pearsons Weekly.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12
nissinated Enough.

"Once a little girls mother T Tar that
her for being naughty and ,'.4 /: g .se va,
She would not go to heaven " go
not good. -,-, much in-
pressed ae for a few moments g .a}5 ". "oL
giving a sigh of resignation s,.- s''a' party
well. I've been to two thea'tLS, on every
and a circus. 1 can't expect 10 -
where VI H.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12
Agricultural Perils.
Ice cream

A farmer near Kansas City had a mar
row escape from death last Saturday
while gathering corn. He lost his bal
ance while plucking the topmost ear and
plunged head foremost downward. After
falling two stories he caught another ear
and hung ON. A load of hay was
pushed under him and he was rescued
A farmland working beside him quit
his job.-Kansas City Times.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12

In baseball, the first good catch OF
the season has been achieved by Presl-
dent O'Bricn of the American Associa-
ton in reelection for term of three
wears with q big raise in salary.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12
Papa's Fault.

Father have Just heard that that in
corr'gible son of mine has just married
a well-known actress!
,Daughter-Well, you have yourself to
blame, father.
Father-How do you make that out?
aughter-Haven't you often told him
to hitch his wagon to star?-Young's
Magazine for December.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12

Time must rest heavily upon the
American Modern Language Association
at New Haven, Connecticut 1t has been
discussing the question whether Eve
gave Adam an apple or lemon. If the
temptation had been in the vicinity of
Boston the fruit might have been bean.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12

Rev. I. W. Hodgson of West Hart
ford, Conn, suspended all his parish sery-
ices one week including the weekly pray
er meeting, in order that his people
might make social calls upon one an
other. He announced his plan from the
pulpit and assigned certain people in GER
tain sections to remain at home on stated
afternoons and evenings.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12
Result of TARGET Practice.

Captain-Do you see that captain Oh
the bridge five miles away!
Tar-Aye, aye, sir. ,o;,ob
"Let him have one of those i2inc'
shells in the eyesc
(Which eye, sfr."-Deseret News
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12
~ THE SPICE OF LIFE :.
Thank, Theodor

Ihanx, Theodor.
. Theodor, l never sor
so gud a spelling roof
NJ Mu now mi Par as wei as Mar
And spei i it ' rite ' Wifb as Sa | ,plees
o Theodor, l never sor
A man so one-drus wise.
on mp Phianeiy sees in spelling baez
~ sacn child will win a prizes WV
NO one will want a holaJa
o Theodor, / never sor
a man so full of gle.
pso wen yu've nothing els 10 Din
Frees chang the roi Of tire e. ="
T To you sDar WI give the gratest ioy
Providence Jonr,a,
--------.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12

The purses which are now pat up by
the fight-promoters of Nevada are big
enough to give the loser ample balm for
the wounds incident to defeat. This is
probably the explanation of the willing
ness of Bob Fitzsimmons to meet
James J. Jeffries in another fight for the
heavyweight championship of the world.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12

After inventive genius has contributed
a bottle that cannot be reflled, it should
turn its attention to the gun which IS
supposed to be unchanged and try TO
prevent thoughtless people from pulling
the trigger Just for fun"
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12

The old steel sloop Volunteer, which
defended the America cup in 1897, is
offered for sale as cruising yacht.
Who ever heard of a later-day freak de-
fender offered for sale as cruiser, or
for any purpose whatever except for
scrap metal?
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12

n. E. Hansen, explorer for the depart
ment of agriculture, has arrived from
China with many new plants and trees
which he is sure will flourish in this
country, especially on the arid plains of
the great northwest. He paid special
attention to forage plants which would
stand drouth, and he thinks that the
specimens he brought over viii reduce
the area of the deserts.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12
The Reason.

Why doth the Pullman porter hold
His palm out for q fee.
And gather silver all along
The route from sea to sea?
Because the Pullman folk. you know,
To poverty pretend,
And choose to keep their coin intact
To made a dividend.
philadelphia Ledger
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12
Tn All Hotels.

Miss SimpBton-,I un .ls. Mains ab, ,..
some hotels one often ten, s. l.f II pam
the dining rooms. NI"' $3.50
is the most prominent .-.r..-T. ,'b..'
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12

There is a British peer with the title
of Zetland and another named Zouche
but nobody can recall member of the
House of Commons whose name began
with the last letter of the alphabet. At
the other end of the world, however,
there has always been an NJ. 2. whose
surname started in this singular fashion.
During the last half century Australia
has had parliamentarians named Zeal
ZoX, Zincke and Zevenboom.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12

The fact that James Alexander Camp
bell, who was Conservative member for
the Universities of Glasgow and Aber-
deem in the British Parliament from
1880 till his retirement at the last cleo
ton, is an elder brother of the present
prime minister of England draws atten-
ton to the circumstance often noticed
in British political life of near relatives
being in opposition to each other in party
welfare. Thus William +. Gladstone S
elder brother, Sir Thomas Gladstone, sat
in opposition to his brother on the Tory
side of the House of Commons.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12

Mr.. Cans Of Baltimore took another
big step upward as a histrionic attrac-
ton by destroying the hopes of Mr.. Her
man of Chicago with a well-delivered
blow during the eighth round of fight
at Tonopah. THE stage" be it known,
has usurped the functions of the dime
museum
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12

Carrie Nations dictum that dancing
is huggng is hardly consistent with her
view that the welding of a hatchet is
merely an oratorical expression. To be
in harmony with Carrie Nation ges-
ture. Nation hug ought to be a rib
cruSher
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12

The fatal rear-end collision in Scot
and was due to the mistake of placing
entire reliance ON automatic signals,
which in this instance were prevented
from working properly by heavy fall
of snow. 1t isn't safe to leave every
thing to either an automatic mechanism
or human vatchfulness One must sup
plement the other under all circNm-
stances.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12

given him by Takahashi, a pupil of the
Toxic Dai Gaku. DIR. McCartee re-
NAMED in Japan after the treaty was
negotiated and practiced medicine there
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12
Prussian Women Bounced.

BY order of the minister of railways
all the women who have hitherto sold
the tickets at Prussan railway stations
have been replaced by men. The wom
en- are said to have been too nervous. ir
ritable and prone to get into disputes.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12

4 tablet which Miss Rhoda A. Thomp-
son. Of Connecticut, has given to the
Washington Memorial chapel, at Valley
Forge, in memory of her father, who
served through the Revolution as a drum
mer boy and bombardier, will be shipped
to Valley Forge at once. Arrangements
are being made to unveil the tablet on
December 10, the Tooth anniversary of
the encampment of Washington's army
at Valley Forge Mr.. Thompson was
then a member of the army.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12
The College Tongue

I've got my "math'' for to e1.... after /
nv paper ready for poly , f9l read "ii,
come back from gym ~, i - J. Vees-
with you for an hour'-d''p '-
l,-
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12
Odd Species of Fish.

Nearly .one-half of the fishes caught
IN n the Indian ocean by the Sladen trnst
ueeP sea exploring expedition belonged
10 species not heretofore described in
9sny hooks Enormous specimens were
l"uhH eli black coralS, the rarest of ali
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12
Full House.

Noozey-You seemed to be having
quite a time at your house last night.
Popley (wearily)-Yes, a deuce of
time
Noozey-A deuce of n time?
Popley-Yes, twins. Philadelphia
Ledger.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12
A New Broom

She Cooking away of'-H'"
horizon is! =. --ah my @s
He-Yes: swept ID
Boston TranScrlpt.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12

ONthedcr Fleming Of the Southern
..,I, mas heen signed by the Evans
Fl.e Central league team.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12

Mrs. Weddedbliss-If you should sud
denly come into possession of $1,000, 900,
what would be the first thing you would
do, Jack dear?
Mr.. Weddedbliss-Get you a tub of
ice cream soda.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12

The will of DR. Divine Bethune Nc
Cartee. who was interpreter with the
expedition led by Commodore Perry TO
Jarcn ffty years ago, was probated in
New York last week. DIR. McCartee's
widow receives all his estate, except his
library ON Chinese and japanese litera-
ture and his medals, decorations, swords
and testimonials. which 20 to the Uni
Terslty Of Pennsylvania The gifts in
clude the decoration of the Rising Sun.
received by DIR. McCartee from the En-.
peror OF Japan; gold medal presented
him by the Marquis Ito. and sword
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12

The statue of Reconciliation which
is to be placed on the summit of Lookout
mountain, 1900 feet above the plain, and
where the great fighting of the battle of
Chattanooga was done, is now finished
by the sculptor, r. Hinton Perry, ana
will be cast in bronze in time for its
erection next spring. 1t represents sol
diers of the Blue and the Gray clasping
hands under the flag of the Union The
figures are nine feet high, and will sur
mount shaft seventy-ive feet i'll height
Mr.. Perry's work has been done for the
New York state monument commission,
of which Gen. ID. Il. Sickles is president
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-01-12

Advertise in Your Home ray
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1907-10-25
DID NOT WANT TO Guy.
The Great Musician Had No Use for
His Production.

A great tenor had been singing for
some hours into a photograph.
The photograph" he said, is a
wonderful thing. II almost realizes
the wish OF the Scottish poet, the wish
that we might see ourselves as Others
see us. We can now, at least. hear
ourselves, a thing impossible before.
The photograph teaches us many val
liable lessons. When | was in the
army, before | realized the capabilities
of my voice. ! played the flute. A
monograph salesman brought
monograph TO my quarters and tried
TO sell IT to me on the instalment plan.
was undecided. Finally the man
took out a blank cylinder.
See he said, rather reluctantly.
here is a blank cylinder. You may
make a record on it. then we will run
1t of and you shall hear yourself. It's
a costly favor | am doing you, but II
will show you what fine instrument
this is
Il was delighted.
"Tll get my flute / said. TIL play
q flute SOLO
We'll, played my best into the ma
chine. II seemed to me that ! had
never combined before such feeling
with such accuracy. l was more than
pleased with myself. Then the man
put in the cylinder. and the music be-
gan TO issue forth. / frowned.
"1s that me?' | said
Ives. sir said the man.
Really me. just as playe1?'
Precisely. sir. precisely And
now said he. do you want to buy the
monograph
NO said /; I want to sell the
flute"