davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
IFrom the New York Press.l

IFrom the New York Press.1
Tact is calling woman's red hair
FURNISHED gold and being sure she
hears you.
When. n girl pretends she doesn't like
candy It's a sign she is trying to grow
thin.
The trouble with kissing a girl under
an umbrella is she screams if 1t drips
down her neck.
Most people take more credit to
themselves over inherited money than
if they earned It..
A woman is hardly ever happily mar
ried unless her husband will tell her
he doesn't believe anybody else could
dress as well on SO little money.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24
KANSAS COAAETT
KANSAS.

Kansas; living. acting. thinking KAN
sas! Full Of the vital spark that men
can lie; as bubbling over with jokes
ana tricks as any boyl You dare the
DIVINITY itself. The red bird painted by
the hand of the Omnipotent in the coll
ors or the rising sun, the gray goose
guided by the hand of God in it's north
ern hight, the red rose which felt the
warm breath of its creator. all heard
and obeyed the ventriloquistic voice of
the Kansas joker. Then the cold chill
breath of old nature as he blurred and
puffed and scolded at the childish prank
OF kansas withered the bloom, chased
the red bird to the southern cline and
sent the, gray goose headlong before
his fierce breath. Oh Kansas! Naughty.
tricky, uncomfortable kid that you arei
Yet we like you for your very tricks,
Tor the trouble that you cause US, for
your triumphs in everything you under
take.-BellevilIe Freeman
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24
Helen .Gould.s Romance.

That love which the Bible calls
Charity is the word writ largest IN
Helen Gould's life. No single thread
of romance seems to fire with color
soft pastel shades of sympathy and
sacrifice.
One summer night she sat with a
friend amid the purple bloom of her
wistaria covered piazza at Lyndhurst.
The setting sun bathed the landscape in
the soft afterglow of the half light
that helps the heart to expression. The
small white hand shaded her brow
a little as she looked out among the
trees. NO" she was saying, what
you imagined was never So
did not love him when I sent him
away. Long ago I made up my mind
never to think of any, man like that. "
Almost it seemed as if the slender fin
gers pressed against her temple were
trem bling now, but 1t might have been
only the play of the shadows. 81 am
neither brilliant nor pretty, and" she
added, firmly, mo man shall marry
me for my money" A duke and a
those whom rumor has had it would
have wooed if she would have listened,
but there is no record that they stirred
the calm measure of her heart beat.
Then there came a rich manufacturer
and philanthropist and the world
ed. SIS Helen Gould's romance"
But it was not. The man, it is true,
had said, "She is my ideal woman"
But hundreds of soldiers and sailors
and railroad men the country over
have cried, Mine, tool" and America
has come to believe that Helen Gould
has given her heart as completely as
her fortune to the good that she can
do.-Mabel Potter Daggett in Broad
way Magazine.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24

A man who helped to build the first
railroad in Ohio is dying in Los Angeles
The railroad is really a new thing Men
still living can remember when the rail-
road of the present day was undreamed
of. VIII the next fifty years see as
great an advance in the means of trans
portation as has the last half century?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24

An expert estimates that the Kansas
fruit crop that was destroyed by frost
last week would have been worth two
million dollars. But Kansas won't mind
little thing like that. She will scarce
ly miss it. in fact. 1t is just like losing
a postage stamp when you have a five
dollar bill in your pocket.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24

In recent issue Of a socialist paper
Eugene Debs issues the following: Here
and now 1 challenge Theodore Roose-
Welt. He is guilty of high crimes and
deserves impeachment. Let him do his
worst I denounce him and defy him. -
Mr.. Debs seems to have hard work at
tracing any attention.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24

Query: Among the property that will
come into the hands of the receivers of
the brewers belongings in Kansas will
be several saloons. What will they do
with the stocks of liquors? They cannot
sell them, for that would be in violation
of the prohibitory law. And just sup
pose the court had caught that 800, 900
stock of liquors of the Mahan company
at Wfchitai
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24

The annual state encampment of the
Texas G. A. r. is in session at Dallas
this week. Did you know they had
such an organization as the G.. A R. in
Texas?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24

An Indian won big foot race in Bos-
ton the other day. This announcement
will occasion no surprise to those who
participated in the senatorial race in
Kansas last winter
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24

Natural gas is not an unmixed bless
ing for all classes. Topeka grocers re-
port that they can no longer sell their
old boxes for kindling.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24
TEaIPUs FUGIr.

Do not stop to kiss your wife
Hurry
There's a carl Drop fork and knife,
Hurry
When you go to get your lunch
Push and struggle with the bunch
Anything will do to MUNICH,
Hurry!
If you wish to catch a train,
Hurry
One may never come again.
Hurry!
II you are a second late
And you find they've shut the gate
Climb the fence-but never walt,
Hurry
Now remember. life is brief,
Hurry
Even though you come to grief.
Hurry!
Save a minute, time is cash.
Grab your hat and make a dash,
Don't care II you come to smash.
Hurry.
Bohemian.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24

An eastern writer wants to know
where all the flies go to. If heeis asking
because he is anxious to get them back,
he can have all that are coming to us.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24

John S. Parks has been elected presi-
dent of the American National bank in
Kansas City. John Parks couldn't help
being lucky if he should try.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24

The suggestion that Governor Hughes
be the Republican nominee for one of
the two places on the national ticket
probably will not please william Ran
dolph Hearst, although Mr.. Hearst can
testify to the governors running abil-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24

And now the Mormons wish to place
q statute of Brigham Young in the Hall
of Fame at Washington as one of Utahs
contributions. This will probably make
the good people who fought Senator
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24

Denver proposes to put up a fund of
5000, 900 withEwhich to catch the Repub-
lican national convention next year.
Denver has raised" Kansas City, which
offers 100000. VIII Kansas City go
Denver one-or two-better?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24

Down at Wichita the police kept two
men in the -sweatbox for hours trying to
TO make them tell where they bought
the liquor they got drunk on. Think of
that-in Wichita!
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State Journal is a member OF the
Associated Press and receives the fun day
telegraph report of that great news or
gaRization for the exclusive afternoon
publication in Topeka.
The news is received in The State Jour-
nal building over wires for this sole pur-
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24

By the way, when you dug up those
dandelions did you SOW some grass seed
in their places, or did you expect ma
ture to cover the bare spot with more
dandelfons or weeds?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24

Mr. Mulvane evidently prefers to as
sumo an attitude Of proud disdain'
rather than engage in a controversy
with that man Tucker"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24
EROA OTHER PENS
CONVICTION OF STANDARD OIL.

CONVICTION OF STANDARD OIL.
The infection upon the Standard Oil
of fines aggregating millions would
teach certain eminent lawbreakers the
expediency of prudence in their busi-
ness methods. Stripped of the mask
of hypocrisy, they can no longer pre-
tend that they are martyrs to official
malice and public prejudice. On the
whole they are fortunate that they are
not going to Jail Penalties under the
Hepburn law are more personal than
under the Elkins act. The iniquity of
the Standard Oil company has been 4
long time coming to it.-New York
World.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24

Very little is heard about Uncle Joe's
presidential boom this spring. Evident
ly this is not a good time for Cannon to
hoor1,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24

Havana bankers are reported to have
more money on deposit than they can
probably invest. Is Cuba trying to i'm
itate Kansasr
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24

William Allen White has a boom for
Republican national committeeman.
What would Mr. White do with that
job if Fairbanks or Foraker or Knox
were the norninee?~
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24

Inc Selter TN country store)-I
see by the papers tibet Rockyfeller's
income is $3.50 ev'ry minute,
The Storekeeper-Goshi 1t must
keen him on the jump maxim change.
! Puck.
do the experts in trials ever agree
on anything?"
Certainly; on the size of their
bills. American.
Raynor-I know, of course, that old
Pragmatt is extensively positive and con-
troverslal, but he's generally right, isn't
shyne6 5Ia ae him. yes Thsts what
bune.
Don't you think" sugsested the old
well to keep 2, watch on your son?'
woudH sRis ED S g9uD seo Gai sss
exchange it for pawn ticket"-Philadel-
phia Press.
This monograph is silent" said the in
dignant tourist who had deposited his
'..of course responded the genial pro-
prietor. "all it contains is the presidents
eral Wood, '-Philadelphi Public Ledger
Have you a law against carrying con-
cealed weaDons?' asked the visitor.
We don't need no such law in Crimson
Gulch,'' answered Pluto Pete. Nobody
der cover where he's liable to lose time
reachin' fur it, Washington Star
Vicar-What a, terrible thunderstorm we
had yesterday, Mrs. Briggs. Lucky no one
was hurt.
Mrs. Briggs--Yes, sir, 1 think every
one ought to keep out of the way of a
thunderstorm. It's all very well not to
be afraid of ordinary things; but to say
yer not afraid of thunder-I call that
boisterous.-Punch
DO you know why the chickens came
out of the eggs, Robbie?"
they stayed in.''-Harper's Bazaar.
Green-What do you mean by saying
John Brown is a distant relative of yours?
thought he was your brother.
Brown-Well, there are IL children in
our family. He's the oldest and I'm the
youngest.-Chicago News.
These bridge disasters are terrible
remarked the man who was reading of
bridges being swept away by the river
Il should say So" replied his friend.
my wife lost all of her years pin money
in game of bridge last night. Chicago
News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24

Secretary Taft is now home from
Cuba and Panama, and it is just posi-
BILE that his return has caused an I'M
easy feeling in the Foraker camp in
Ohio
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24

Is P1ttsburg now trying to Guido San
Francisco as graft center?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24
HUMOR OF TIE DAY
bohemian

The "Setter" Gin country store)-I
see by the papers tibet RockyfeIler's
income is $3.50 ev'ry minute.
The Storekeeper-Goshi 1t must
keen him on the jump maxim change.
Puck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24
JUST LIKE HUMANS.

If the fruit trees, had only needed
the popular advice not to take them
off too soon, all the damage would
have been avoided.-Salina Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24
what a Little Paper Did.

1t may be asked what a man who
from his size belonged in B company
at West Point was doing IN the eighth
division among the tall men of d Com
pany, writes Gen. Morris Schaff in the
Atlantic.
1t came about in this way:
My second year at West Point, ow-
Ing to an increase in the size of the
battalion, the overflow of my company,
B, and the various other companies
had to room in what was known as the
angle, which threw me with John As
bury West of Georgia of D company
West and myself became very close
friends, and THAI we might continue to
room together just before the battal-
ion was formed in 1860 at the close of
the encampment for division into COM
panies, he suggested that I stuff some
paper in my shoes to lift me up into
the flank companies. Ge,
= Thereupon we inlaid a good share of
"a newspaper in each shoe, lowered my
trousers to the extreme limit to hide
my heels. and to my hearts delight,
the result was, in counting off the bat
talon, fell just inside of D company
And on that bit of paper in my shoes
all my life has hinged; for had I stay
ed with the studious B company I
should in all Probability have grad
uated in the/engineers and the stream
of my life would have run through diff
ferent fields.-New York Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24
PROTECTING THE SUCKER.
TOO MUCH OPEN DOOR.

Mrs Holman effusive assurance of
an ''open door" for dear Evelyn" at
her house it is hoped will not be ac-
cepted by Mrs. Harry K. Thaw. Her
mother left the door open too much
when Mrs. ThawC was a little GIRL
Wichita Beacon.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24

do the experts in trials ever agree
on anything?'
Certainly; on the size of their
bills.''-Baltimore American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24
LESSON FOR vorERs.

Voters who voted for some candi-
dates for the legislature because said
candidates endorsed the square deal
idea and then saw them go over to the
enemy should not only learn a lesson
themselves, but their experience should
teach Republicans everywhere the les
son that 1T is only safe to support men
for public office who are known to
have fixed principles and who cannot
by any corrupt influence or motives be
swerved therefrom to the right hand
or to the left. 1t will be a good idea
to adopt the same rule in electing con-
vention delegates. This of course will be
hard on the bosses and professional
politicians, but bosses and professional
politicians, as a rule, have no rights
that honest patriots are under obliga-
tons to respect-HoIton Recorder.
THE WORRY OF THE RICH.
There is perhaps a very erroneous i'm
preston in the minds of most poor peo-
pie in regard to persons reputed wealthy.
Many persons doubtless think if they
were as wealthy as so-and-so, they
would scatter money with lavish hand
and relieve poverty and restitution, or
help struggling churches and schools.
If they were in rich Mr. So-and-So's
place they would probably much of the
time find it difficult to raise money to
meet the demands of their large and in
creasing business. Many rich business
men spend more sleepless anxious hours,
contriving ways and means for meeting
business obligations than the average
poor man does to secure the necessaries
of life.-Holton Recorder.
o.
QUESTIONS FOR MOTHERS.
Have you an Evelyn in your family?
A vain, foolish girl who delights to act
wicked? If SO watch her. There are
Stanford Whites in every community.
Little girls are entitled to their mothers
protection and if this is not given the
burden of quilts falls upon the derelict
parents. Mothers, will you be Mrs.
Holmans Lawrence Journal
90
PROTECTING THE SUCKER.
sucker is born every minute and it
is therefore necessary to pass laws to
protect them. A law that will prevent
a dollar of capital stock to
be issued and offered to the world of
suckers, unless there is dollar of prop
erty behind it, would not only protect
the suckers from being devoured by the
but would put a crfmp in Wall
street that would drive the wolves out
of business.-EI Dorado Republican.
TOO MUCH OPEN DOOR.
Mrs. Ho1man7s effusiVe assurance of
an 'sopen door, for dear Evelyn" at
her house it is hoped will not be ac-
mother left the door open too much
when Mrs. Thaw was a little GIRL
Beacon.
JUST LIKE HUMANS.
If the fruit trees, had only needed
he popular advice not to take them
off too soon, all the damage would
nave been avoided.-Salina Journal.
MUCH TO BE THANKFUL FOR.
1t took Willie Sell four days to find
words in which to say Much obliged"
TO Governor Hoch. But it must be re-
nembere1 how very much obliged Sell
World.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24
Autos and the Federal Government.

In an interesting and sensible ar
ticle advocating a federal license sys-
tenn for automobiles, Charles Thad-
deus Terry, chairman of the legis-
lative board of the American Auto
mobile association. presents this very
likely incident as pointing the need
for such system: Suppose" he
says, you start some fine morning on
a run from New York to Washington
Your car is properly registered in
New York, and yoa have your number
displayed as the law directs. You roll
comfortably off the ferryboat in Jer-
sey CITY, but you have not gone half
mile from the landing when a keen
eyed policeman halts you.
Y cure shy there on the number
he explains, politely.
But there is my number you tell
him with feeling ofstriumph.
No says he. 'Nothin' dom on
a New York number in Jersey
But even then your troubles have
just begun. For when you cross the
line from New Jersey into PennsyI-
vania you will be similarly held up
until you procure Pennsylvania
license and registration and number
board And the same sort of delay
will be waiting for you in Delaware
and in Maryland and in the District of
Columbia"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24

friend Of the family, that you would do
well to keep a watch on your SOM"
''Impossiblev replied young Gaileys
father, lit wouldn't be long Before he'd
exchange it for pawn Observation-Disclosures
phia Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24
MITCH TO RI THANL

MUCH TO BE THANKFUL FOR.
1t took Willie Sell four days to find
words in which to say Much obliged"
to Governor Hocn. But it must be re-
memberei how very much obliged Sell
was.-Lawrence World.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24
AT THE PLAY.

haitian theater recently because he
laughed at a part of the play where
the excuse for mirth was supposed tc
be entirely absent. He was convicted
and fined, but we trust his case can be
carried higher up. on appeal. 1t would
be a joy to have a definite and decisive
ruling as to the public display of the
individual sense of humor. If to
laugh when others would be silent be
nisdemeanor under the law, how
would it do to Jail and fine some of the
paper claque who applaud a dull
play that other auditors desire to
damn Brooklyn Eagle.
COLD DAYS.
But isn't it just the awful spring for
frosts? Both the peach crop and the
rich mems conspiracy are now be-
lieved to be more than half ruined
Indianapolis News.
BEWARE OF THE SPEAR.
MY spear knows no brother" may
be construed by Mr.. Hartman to
mean that one practical man" Will
knife another when the exigencies of
politics make it seem necessar y-
Louisville Courier-Journal.
THE CHILD-WORKER.
: The child-worker is tired. and al
ways looks tired. His education ends
because drudgery of his toilsome days
pt lA1 41iAn his OAACit-
We are using up the life of the nation
at the wrong end.-The Schoolmaster.
THE LONG SERMON.
DR.. Edward Everett Hale says he
doesn't believe in long sermons. Who
can blame Boston for loving that man
New York Herald.
ASK HARTMAN.
it's a wise hnancier who knows his
own grapher.-Baltimore Sun.
IS HE ANOTHER OF THEM?
The world awaits anxiously the Of
fetal classification of MI John F..
Stevens, late chief engineer OF the
Panama caual.-New York Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24

RaynOr-I Know, OF COURSE, that old
Pragmntt is extensively positive and con-
troverslal, but he's generally right, isn't
he?
Shyne-Blame him. yesl That's what
makes him so offensive.-Chicago Tri-
bune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24
ASK HARTMAN.

it's wise financier who knows his
own grapher.-Baltimore Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24
A New Coast defense Gun.

The war department has completed
plans for a new type of 14-inch-calibe-
gun, which will be added to the existing
coast defense system. Work on the new
weapons will be commenced at the Wa
tervliet arsenal at an early date. 1t has
pot yet been determined, however
whether the guns will be of the ordinary
built-up forged-steel type or of the
more modern wire-wound construction
This new gun, while fully two inches
larger in calibre than the regulation
coast defence gun of the first grade,
will be smaller in every other measure
ment and of lighter weight. The inten-
ton is to construct a weapon with
range and striking force equal to the
present standard Pinch gun, but which
will greatly exceed the limited life of
that gun.
The expensive Pinch gun now in use
will. not be displaced by the new 14-inch
gun, but the new type will be supplied
whenever there are additions to the de-
fences. 1t is insisted by the department
that the first cost of the new gun will
be considerably less than that of the r.
inch gun, while the addition to the life
of the weapon will result in still further
increased economy.-Harper's Weekly.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24

IS HE ANOTHER OF THEM?
The world awaits anxiously the Of
fetal classification of, Mr.. John F..
Stevens, late chief engineer OF the
Panama caual.-New York Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24
BEWARE of THE SPEAR
THE CHILD-wORKER.
THE LONG SERMON.

THE LONG SERMON.
DIR. Edward Everett Hale says he
doesn't believe in long sermons. Who
can blame Boston for loving that man?
New York Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24

How many couples, If they could
start all over again. would remarry?
: Are not some cigarettes at best only
an inferior kind of stationery?
Why do those candid people who al
ways tell you what they think have
such unpleasant thoughts?
Why is 1t that those who do the
hardest work get the smallest pay,
while the easier and pleasanter and
more interesting the work becomes,
the better grows the remuneration?
wouldn't it be painful to think
that some poor men gamble away their
money at poker, were 1t not for the
contrasting thought that other poor
men win It?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24

''Have you a law against carrying con-
cealed wea pons?' asked the visitor.
I'VE don't need no such law in Crimson
Gulch, answered Pluto Pete. Nobody
here's fool enough to keep a weapon I'M
der cover where he's liable to lose time
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24

This monograph is silent" said the in
dignant tourist, who had deposited his
penny.
-Of course responded the genial pro-
prietor. "all it contains is the presidents
explanation of the advancement of Gen
eral Wood, "-Philadelphia Public Ledger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-04-24
COLD DAYS.

But isn't it just the awful spring for
! frosts? Both the peach crop and the
rich mems conspiracy are now be-
lieved to be more than half ruined
indianapolis News.