davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-10-17
An Expensive Experiment.

The president, as commander.in.
chief, has the undoubted right to or
der either the army or navy to man
euver whenever he deems best, and
sending the battleships to the Pacific
would seem to be covered by that au.
thority. But congress has control of
executive action, through the consti-
tutional power owe expenditures, and
1t is claimed that without a special an.
preparation for the great expense Of
the cruise of the battleships, as or
dered, that the president has exceeded
his power In a time of profound peace.
In time of war, or of great emergency.
the president has undisputed power in
the first instance, and congress would.
OF course, make provision in the event
of the second, for sudden catastrophes
override all law, and precedent. The
question to be settled is a political one
by the election of a president who is
not SO spectacularly inclined. IL
there was any occasion for the remov.
al Of the feet to the Pacific, there
would be no adverse criticism, but 80
far no good reason has been given fol
such an expensive experiment.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-10-17
SEEK TO WIN SOLDIERS.
Russian Girls Risk Life for the Cause
of Liberty.

when the university opened last
autumn l started to work again
among the soldiers" said the young
woman. "As you know, the revolu-
~tionists are at present working very
hard to win over the army, and one
of the means is to talk freedom di-
rectly to the soldiers. For this girls
have been found to be more effective
than men; the young peasant soldiers
are mor willing to listen to girls,
and are far reader to protect them
from arrest. So all over Russia hun
dreds and hundreds of girls are now
nightly meeting with groups of SOL
diers, in working mems homes and in
barracks. To go into barracks and
talk revolution to the soldiers, hard
ly anything is so dangerous-for the
girl caught is tried by court-martial
and in a day or two is executed
From Leroy SCOTS Interview with a
Russian Woman, in E~verybody's.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-10-17
BABY WASTED TO SKELETON.
In Torments with Terrible Sores on
Face and Body--Tore at Flesh
Cured by C%uticura.

"My little son, when about a year
and a half old began to have sores
come out on his face. They began to
come on his arms, then on other parts
of his body. and then n came on his
chest, worse than the others. At the
end of about a year and a half of suf-
fering he grew so bad l had to tie his
hands in cloths at night to keep him
from scratching the sores and tearing
the flesh. He got to be a mere skele-
ton and was hardly able to walk. l
sent to the drug store and got a cake
of Cuticura Soap and a box of Cuticura
Ointment, and at the end of about two
months the sores were all well. He
has never had any sores of any kind
since, and only for the Cuticura Rem
edies my precious child would have
died from these terrible sores. l used
only n cake of Soap and about three
boxes of Ointment. Mrs. Egbert Shell
don, R. Ed. No. /, Woodville, Conn,
April 20, 1906"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-10-17
RHEUMATISM RECIPE
PREPARE SIMPLE HOMEMADE
MIXTURE YOURSELF.
Buy the ingredients from Any Drug
aist In Your Town and Shake
Them In a Bottle to
Mix This.

A wellknown authority on Rheu-
matism gives the readers of a large
New York daily paper the following
valuable, yet simple and harmless
prescription, which any one can easily
prepare at home:
Fluid Extract Dandelion, one-half
ounce; COMPOUND Kargon, one ounce;
Compound Syrup Sarsaperilla, three
ounces.
Mix by shaking we'll in a bottle, and
take a teaspoonful after each meal
and at bedtime.
He states that the ingredients can
be obtained from any good prescrip-
ton pharmacy at small cost, and, be-
ing a vegetable extraction, are harm
less to take.
This pleasant mixture, if taken reg
ularly for a few days, is said to over
come almost any case of Rheumatism.
The pain and swelling, if any, dimin-
ishes with each dose, until permanent
results are obtained, and without in
juring the stomach. While there are
many so-called Rheumatism remedies,
patent medicines, etc., some of which
do give relief, few really give perma-
nent results, and the above will, no
doubt, be greatly appreciated by many
sufferers here at this time.
Inquiry at the drug stores of even
the small towns ELECTS the information
that these drugs are harmless and can
be bought separately, or the druggists
will mix the prescription If asked to.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-10-17
QUALITIES OF WIT AND HuMoR.
Alike, Yet in Many Ways Fundament-
ally Different

Wit and humor are such elemental
fundamental things that it has always
been found difficult to analyze them,
says a writer in The Atlantic. Upon
some points. however, those who have
essayed this puzzling task agree, for
they all hold that wit is an intel
lectual, humor an emotional, quality;
that wit is a perception of resem-
blance, and humor a perception Of
contrast, Of discrepancy, of incongru-
ity. The incongruity is that which
arises between the ideal and the fact,
between theory and practice, between
promise and performance; and per-
haps it might be added that 1t is al
ways or almost always a moral in
c%ongruity. In the east both Of wit
and humor there is also a pleasurable
surprise, a gentle shock, which ac-
companies our perception of the hith-
erto unsupported resemblance or in
congruity. A New England farmer
was once describing in the pres
ence of a very humane person the
great age and debility of a horse that
he formerly owned and used. "You
ought to have killed him." interrupt
ed the humane person, Indignantly.
WELL" drawled the farmer I'VE did
almost"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-10-17
SHIP SUBSIDY AGAIN
AN EFFORT BEING MADE TO RE-
vIvE THE PLUNDERlNe
SCHEME.
The American People Are Securing
the Benefit of Lower Rates Of
Foreign Ship Building compe-
titlon Without a Subsidy.

The ship-subsidy organs are taking
advantage of the advertising Of the
remarkable run of the new English
Atlantic steamship, the Lusitania, to
bring up the ~ship-subsidy ~plundering
scheme again. Has any one heard
of an American ship yard turning out
an American ship designed to hold
her own with the latest marine crea-
tions?" asks the Philadelphia Inquir-
er. 1t remarks that the United States
is apparently willing to permit for
eigners to carry its freight and pas
sengers, Hand reap something like
$500, 000, 900 a year for doing it." and
adds: "And for even a share of this
vast trade we are making no attempt
whatever. Nor will we, nor can we,
make an attempt until congress comes
to the rescue and aids in building up
genuine American lines"
AS to the building Of this modern
ship of vast size and speed has led
to the reduction of passenger rates
for those who cross the Atlantic and
the determination of other steamship
lines, both German and British, to
build other and greater ships to COM
pete with the Cunarder, it would seem
that the United States is receiving the
benefit without paying a subsidy. 1t
would be absurd for the American
people to burden themselves with an
enormous annual expenditure to try
and compete with the rival foreign
steamship companies when they have
all the advantage of reduced trans.
portation charges and quicker service.
Whether these modern vessels will pay
fair interest on the investment Is a
question and the fact that American
capital has heretofore found other and
better paying investment in domestic
enterprises without the risk of loss
and comparatively small returns. is
but a poor excuse for demanding a
subsidy. To ask the government to
pay a subsidy on any business that
is not of itself profitable enough to
stand alone Is sheer robbery of the
taxpayers for the benefit of the inter.
est that would receive it. Because
Mr.. Pierpont Morgan;s steamship trust
Is Improbable, and unlike other trusts
1t cannot obtain a monopoly-for,
thank goodness, the ocean is still a
free highway-it would be the worst
of folly for the American people to
substitute it. AS long as we are will.
ling to fence in the United States with
a tariff that SO increases the cost Of
ship building that we cannot compete
with England, we ought to be thank
full that the enterprising ship owners
of that country are willing to carry
us and our goods at reasonable rates.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-10-17
WILLING Hands.

There is a good story going the
rounds in Pittsburg of a young man,
formerly a stock-broker, who dropped
many thousands in speculation during
the early spring.
One night, shortly after going to
bed, the P~ittsburger was awakened by
strange signs. At his first motion to
jump up he al greeted by a hoarse
voice. IF you stir, you're a dead
mani" it said. I'm looking for mon
ey."
I'm that case" pleasantly answered
the erstwhile Spectator, kindly al
low me to arise and strike a light. l
shall deem it a favor to be permitted
to assist in the search. "-Harper's
Weekly.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-10-17
THE KISS IN JAPAN.
One Western Idea That is Popular
with Eastern Maidens.

She was a Japanese college student,
little and thin, but very graceful in
her Paris gown.
"The kiss" she said, blushing faint
ly, was unknown in Japan 90 years
ago. Now, among the ~aristocracy, it
is becoming quite renowned.
yet it comes as a great shock at
first. 1t is so different, you know,
from anything in a Japanese girls ex-
perience. l hSFe known maidens who
tainted at a first kiss that was per-
haps too warmly rendered. Yet these
very maids became afterward ardent
advocates of the new western en-
brace.
Frankly, l like the kiss myself. It's
stimulus, and the feeling, as of red
satin, when mouth touches mouth
with a warm, soft shock-yes, frank
ly, | like the kiss, and l find it ex-
tremely difficult to deny an eager
young man so innocent and so delight
lightful an embrace.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-10-17
A YOUNG Composer.

Rachel, aged IL, wrote an compo-
sition on wild flowers in which she
praised the arbutus, the liverwore,
the spring beauty, the blood root, and
all of the other blossoms of dell and
dale. But she wrote on both sides
of her sheet of paper, and when she
asked her father, who was an editor,
to publish her article, he called her
attention to that fact.
you've written on both sides of
your paper" said he.
"Well," was the reply, "and don't
you print on both sides of yours?"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-10-17
TARIFF ON PRINT PAPER.
Republicans Are Hit Hard by Their
Own Boomerang.

Own Boomerang.
The price Of print paper such as
newspapers are printed on has ad.
vanced from $1.75 a hundred pounds
to $3.75, and may go much higher.
This, of course, weighs as heavy on
the just as on the unjust, and pro-
p~rietors of Democratic newspapers
have to suffer for the sins of their Re-
publican brethren, without the COM
pensating return of a share of the
campaign fund graft, or the advertise,
ment of many of the tariff protected
industries. 1t is some consolation to
Democrats to see the Republicans
Kicking at the result of their W do.
ings. The tariff tax on print paper of
from 16 to 20 per cent, and on wood
pulp of ten per cent. on the average,
protects the print paper trust in keep
ing up prices. The Canadian govern
ment has imposed or is about TO i'm
pose an export duty IN wood pulp,
and under the provisions of para
graph 1893 of the Dingley tariff law,
the amount of such export duty shall
be added as an additional duty on pulp
imported from such country. Thus is
the protection theory run mad, for we
not only tax ourselves to protect a
monopoly of our own, but add to the
burden a further tax, because some
other country seeks to prevent its sup
ply Of wood from being depleted. Our
Republican statesmen have refused
reciprocity with Canada and when she
seeks to defend herself by increasing
her export and import duties, these
trust protecting politicians have pro-
vided, we must tax ourselves to help
Canada protect her spruce forest.
Still the Republican organs stand pat
and some of them would rather add to
our tariff burdens than decrease them,
and all of them declare for the funda-
mental principle Of protection" And
all the trusts say amen. The only pro-
lection for the newspapers published
is to advance the price at which they
sell their papers to the public, and
that must follow, If the print paper
trust is to continue to be protected.
So in the end this robber system of
protection, on what aver commodity
the tariff tax is collected is paid by
the public,
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-10-17
Bible Names for Colts.

A hostler from the Blue Grass has
just found employment in one of the
stables of a New York man. His
darby dialect is so quaint and his
stories of "Ole Kaintuck" so unique
no member Of the household misses
an opportunity to speak to him and
have him say a word.
His employer said to him a few
days ago: Il suppose your mas
ter down south had a good many
horses?"
dat we did, san, dat we did! And
my ole master had 'em all name
Bible names. Faith, Hope and Char
ity, Bustle. Stays and Crinoline, was
all one Springs colts!"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-10-17
Not a hit as an lmproviser.

did you ever hear anybody impro.
vise?" he asked.
mo-" said she, and he sat down to
the piano and i%mprovised for about an
hour and a half. At the end of that
time he turned around, his face full
of expression, and said to her:
What do you think Of it,"
Lovely" she exclaimed. "Beauti-
full! never heard anything like i'll"
But this is what she said to the hall
boy when he was gone:
IF that long, lank lunatic who i'm
provises asks for me again, you tell
him l am out"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-10-17
MIR. Malaprop just Home from Rome

HH f rs N
A regular MI. Malaprop recently
came home from his first visit to Eu-
rope. He grew enthusiastic about
Rene.
1T was fine" he declared, ito go
into them churches over there and
g the old Observation-Disclosures,
they call 'em. And then the Six
teen chapel is great, and as for the
Vaccination, where the pope lives,
WE'LL"
But his stock of compliments give
out when he got to the subject Of
beggars.
I always refused them pennies"
he said, because, you see, l didn't
want to set a bad prestige!"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-10-17

Laundry work at home would be
much more satisfactory if the right
Starch were used. In order to get the
desired stiffness, it is usually neces.
sary to use 80 much starch that the
beauty and f1neness of the fabric Is
hidden behind a paste of varying
thickness, which not only destroys the
appearance, but also affects the wear
ing quality of the goods. This trou-
BILE can be entirely overcome by using
Defiance Starch, as it a be applied
much more thinly because of it's great
er strength than other makes.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-10-17

The extraordinary popularity Of fine
white goods this summer makes the
choice of Starch a matter of great i'm
portance. Defiance Starch, being free
from all injurious chemicals, is the
only one which is safe to use on fine
fabrics. Its great strength as a stiffener
makes half the usual quantity of Starch
necessary, with the result of perfect
finish, equal to that when the goods
were new.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-10-17

spells. For ten years 1 could not do
Homework, and for two years did not
get out of the house. The Kidney Sc
cretions were irregular, and doctors
were not helping me. Doan's Kidney
Pills brought me quick relief, and
finally cured me. They saved my life"
Sold by all dealers. so cents a box.
Foster-Millburn Co., Buffalo, N. z.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-10-17
We'll Qualified.

$50 you want the position of adj
vance agent for our circus?" inter-
rogated the manager. well, we need
a man who can etir up some life
everywhere he goes" That's me,
boss" fastened the applicant. "Had
any experience in stirring up life?"
You bet! / use1 to drive a street
sweeper and stirred up millions of
germs every day."
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-10-17
Deafness Cannot Be Cured

by local applications, as they cannot reach the dis
eased portion of the ear. There Is only one way to
cure deafness, and that Is by constitutional remedies.
Deafness ia caused by an inflamed condition of the
mucous lining Of the Eustachian Tube. When this
tube Is innamed you have q rumbling sound or i'm.
perfect hearing, and when 1t is entirely closed, Deaf.
ness Ia the result, and unless the Inflammation can be
taken out and this tube restored to its normal condi.
ton, hearing will be destroyed forever; nine cases
out OF ten are caused by Catarrh, which is nothing
but an infamed condition of the mucous surfaces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars for any case Of
Deafness tceused by catarrh) that cannot be cured
by HALLS Catarrh Cure. Send for circulars, free. :
-. F. j. CHENEY g. CO., Toledo, o,
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-10-17
Cats as PIauue Preventlve.

An Italian correspondent of the
North China Daily News writes: 1.-THE
newspapers have latterly been full Of
all sorts Of suggestions for the stamp
ing out of plague. For instance, never
kill rats; If you do the fatal rat flea
may be driven to feed on you. Also,
compel each householder to keep
cats. In fact, let the cult of the cat
as it prevailed in ancient Egypt be re-
vived In India. Plenty Of cats, no
rats"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-10-17
Fictitious Impression,

II cannot help thinking of the won
derful thought displayed in your
daughters commencement essay last
june" YES" answered Mr.. Cumrox,
Judging from that essay, you would
think she was as much interested in
The ~Subservience Of Individual Am
bition to Eternal Destiny as she is
in ice cream soda. But she isn't"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-10-17
Excusable.

II suppose" remarked the coy widow,
that you are an advocate of early
marriages."
"Oh, yes, l am" replied the scanty
haired bachelor.
"Then," continued the c, w, why
is 1t you are still a b%achelor?"
That's quite another matter" an
swered the Bachelor. 1.-THE only mar
riages I believe in are early ones, be,
cause there is some excuse for youth
full follies. Chicago News.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-10-17

By following the directions, which
are plainly printed on each package of
Defiance Starch, Mems Collars and
Cuffs can be MACE just as stiff as de-
sired, with either gloss or domestic
finish. Try it, 16 OF. for 1Oc, sold by
all good grocers.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-10-17
Reason This Out.

An English quarryman was charged
with assaulting one of his mates, and
when the case was carried into court,
n eyewitness of the occurrence gave
some curious evidence.
"He TUX a pick an he TUX a pick
the witness began, IAN he hit him
wild his pick, an he hit him wild his
pick; an if he'd hit him wild his as
hard as he hit him wild his, he'd have
near killed him, and not him him."
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-10-17

With a smooth iron and Defiance
Starch, you car launder your shirt
waist just as well at home as the
steam laundry can; it will have the
proper stiffness and finish, there will
be less wear and tear of the goods,
and it will be a positive pleasure to
use a Starch that does not stick to the
iron
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-10-17
Important to Mo+hers.
Bush over Buried treasure.

There is a tradition in Germany
that it was customary in the Middle
Ages to put an e~lderberry plant over
buried treasure. A farmer at Gels
lori while blowing close to such a
bush unearthed a vessel containing
1900 silver coins of the eleventh cen
fury.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-10-17
Peculiar Ice Cave.

A summer attraction in Colebrook,
N. H., is the ice cave" in Dixyille
notch. This cave is formed by a fis-
sure in the ledge Of the mountain
that ills with snow in winter, and is
protected from the SUMS rays at all
seasons.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-10-17
Most Unhealthy Work.

According to a German physician,
DR.. Horn, miners age SO rapidly be-
of their unhygienic surround
ings that they present all the aspects
of senile decay at the age Of 80, be-
yond which few are able to ply their
vocation.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-10-17
Problems CONCERNING Wealth.

It's easy to understand why SO few
Of us have money. Those who know
how to make 1t don't know how to
keep 1t. and those who can keep 1t
can't get it, and that's the only reason
why they can't keep It.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-10-17
10 Stop Flow Of Blood.

To stop the flow of blood bind the
wound with cobwebs and brown sugar
pressed on like lint or with fine dust
of tea. When the blood ceases to flow
apply laudanum.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-10-17
Waaner as = curative Accent.

Vernon Lee has told somewhere the
story Of the marvellous effects Of Wag-
ner on a headache. One does, after a
time, succumb to what is a kind of
hypnotism; the sound seems almost to
clear the air, or at least to lull n
into a kind of dream in which only the
sense Of hearing exists.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-10-17
Police of Worlds Cities.

Berlin's patrolmen are n to $40.
Liverpool's are one to 449, London's
n to 496, and Philadelphia has one
patrolman for every ell citizens. On
Manhattan island there is but one
policeman to every 643 inhabitants.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-10-17

FITS, st. Vitus Dance and all Nervous
Diseases permanently cured by DIR. Kline's
Treat Nerve Restorer. Send for Free 49, 90
trial bottle ard treatise. DIR. R. II. Kline.
Id. s3l Arch ST.. Philadelphia. Pc.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-10-17

Was d great Suuerer
from kidney trou-
bles. My back panied
me terribly. Every
turn or move caused
sharp, shooting
pains. My eyesight
was poor, dark spots
appeared before me,
and I had dizzy
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1907-10-17

That an article may be good as well
as cheap, and give entire satisfaction,
lis proven by the extraordinary sale Of
Defiance Starch, each package con
tanning one-third more Starch than
can be had of any other brand for the
same money.