Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-05-04

N~~~~~~~N~-@NSN~~~~
did your cook leave you without
any warning, Mrs. Smlth?" Eyes, and
without any spoons, too."-Baltimore
American.
Customer-You've given me NOR
ohine instead OF quinine! Druggist
Is II possible? In that case you owe
me twenty-five cents more.-Petit Par
islen
Mrs Money Bags-I hear you have
spent a great deal of your time in 1t
ally? Mrs Parvenue-Oh, yes my
dear; were quite Italiclzed.-Prlnce-
ton Tiger.
Impecune Hello, old man; you don't
know any one who would lend me a
dollar just now. do you? Gotrox-Well,
no; all the people l know, know you
too-Le Figaro.
Lady (to dinner partner trying to
kiss her In the garden Sir, you are
wasting your time! l am married
II don't care. I'm not n bit Jealous :"
--Simplicissimus.
"The evidence shows, Mrs Mulcohey.
that you threw stone Mt Policeman
Casey" 1T shows more than that. yer
honor il shows that oil hit him.
Minneapolis Tribune.
You point with pride to the fact that
you were never investigated" Ger
tainly," answered Senator Sorghum.
1T shows that | have not been care
less, - Washington Star.
Swellup (after the dlnner) Yes, l
told that pretty girl next to me every
thing l knew. RIVAL noticed you
We're pretty quiet over at that end of
the table, Detroit Free Press.
She (aftcr viyacious discussion) -
All, you dare to look me In the face
He (philosophicallyl Good heavens
In this world one becomes accustomed
to everything III Motto per Ridere.
Teacher Who was it supported the
world upon his shoulders? Tommy
Atlas, sir Teacher Who supported
Atlas? Tommy The book don't say,
but | 'spect his wife did.-~Ally Sloper.
Willie Papa. if am liar, will l
go to the bad place? Twckenham-
Certainly Why? WILLIE was think
Ing how far away You and | would be
from mother Woman's Home Com
paniOn.
You are past forty, inspector; why
| do YOU not marry?" "Why. you see,
do not want to marry an old woman. n
young girl would be fool to marry me,
and | do not like fools !''--Transatlan-
| tic Tales.
BoreleIgh tat II 40 All, Miss Crit
lc. you have such sweet, retiring dis
position Miss Critic (yawning) You
flatter me, MIR. Boreleigh; but | must
confess to slight disposition to re
tire Puck 81"
Said She One has 10 put up with
good deal In order to become an ac-
complished pianist Said He-Yes. and
| Just think how much more the neigh
| bors have TO put MP with Chicago
| Daily News
/
| in speaking French while you were in
Paris? Waggles-Oh, no; | didn't have
any difficulty mt all In speaking it, The
difficulty was In getting people to I'M
derstand it, Somerville Journal.
Mrs Subbubs Oh. John, I'm sorry
the new cook has spoilt your coffee,
but she's so young AVID inexperienced
So You must be satisfied with kiss
instead this evening. dear. john
Right oh call her in Pick MeUp.
II can't understand how Caesar and
Shakespeare and Napoleon ever got to
be great" Have you read the his
tories Of their tmes?" "Yes. That's
what makes II so puzzlIng. Nobody
seemed TO teach anything By mail in
those days" Chicago Record Herald.
Aren't you nearly ready to startY"
asked the amateur gunner. Yes" re-
piled the guide, "i'lI be ready just as
soon as | can borrow dog" why,
where's your own dogs7 what has
happened to thcm?" Nothing, and
mean to see that nothing shall."-Phll-
adelphla Press.
dis paper" said Languid Lewis,
tells erbOut Il boss runnin away with
a woman, an she was laid up for six
weeks" Dat amt so worse" reIon-
cd Bonstful Benjamin ~ friend NV
mine wunst ran away with n boss, an
he was laid mp fer six years" Chica-
go Daily News.