Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-12-08

IL Will CU1Ue Ills way.
Chorus:
"Corte1you, Cortelyou,
Come from behind your chair;
Cortelyou, Cortelyou,
We see you hiding there.
'1f you ask him to speak, he just shakes
his head.
And will not affirm or deny;
But when he goes home each night from
his work
He looks for his star in the sky.
He's mute, dumb and silent, and don't
say a word,
And wears his gum shoes every day:
But he'll have leased wire to Chicago
next June,
Hoping to hear them say" (Chorus).
Undesirable Citizens.
In the course Of the dinner a dark
skinned person advanced to the center Of
the hall and attracted the attention of
President Blythe.
President Ito dark man)-Who are you
and what are you doing here?
Don't you recognize me, boss? I'm
Sergt. Mingo Saunders. There's goin to
be meetin' of the Undesirable Citizens
Association here
Are you the janitor?''
"Janitor? Ridiculous. I'm a charter
member of this association since the
Brownsville blow-up.''
Enter Foraker.
why, good mawnin', Mr.. Foraker.
How's the Taft boom gettin along?"
Flat as if he had stepped on it him.
SELF
Enter Hartman. Mingo hands him pa
per.
whats this? A petition from John F.
Wallace, Herbert W: Bowen, John G.
Capers, Henry NJ. Whitney, Mrs. Maria
Storer and few others to join the Un-
desirable Citizens Association
Huh. them's cheap Ananias Club folks.
They amt in our class"
Enter H. H. Rogers. Mingo bows.
RogerS-Never start panic to get
even with the President. Mingo. 1t might
get away from you. Our last one did.
Enter w. E. Chandler.
Are you a member OF this associa-
tion?'
Chandler-I have taken every White
House degree. and belong to all clubs or
ganized by the President.
Enter John D. Rockefeller. All bow.
John D. Ito Mingo)-I trust you have
said your prayers this morning. Mingo.
that would be as lucky as Booker Wash
ington, but my number amt come out
yet"
Mingo holds ou hand to John D. for
tip.
John D. (very solemn)-Mingo, remem-
Der money is the root of all evil. Take
no thought for thySelf for tomorrow,
neither what thou shalt eat, nor how
thou shalt maintain thine ante in a craps
game. What Is that you have in your
hand?
'.Mr. Hartman gave me this hundred
dollar BILL
John d. will do something for you,
Mingo. Mind. this is a great favor.
will take care of your money for you.
(Takes hundred-d -dollar-bill and puts 1t in
pocket) Now you know it is perfectly
safe.
Thank you, boss, but don't get rain
check?"
"Yes: if you insist on it. Here's clear
ing house certificate" (Mingo takes it
and bows)
Bad Man With a Gun.
At this stage a commotion is heard and
bad man. with a gun enters. 1t is
Harry Orchard, and he is greeted effusive-
ly as 1.-The most distinguished member Of
the Undesirable Citizens Association
Orchard Clourishing a revolver)-I'm a
rootin', tootin', rip-snortin' son-of -a-gun
from Idaho. I'm out for the dough and
want it quick, because this guns got a
hair trigger
Great heavens; here's another run on
the bank. Won't you take trading
stamps?"
NO; want money. the real stuff, the
long green or yellow metal If You amt
got it want watches and jewelry. Hands
upv'
He proceeds to rob them ALL but when
he reaches Mingo that worthy says:
TOO late Mr.. Rockefeller got mine"
The association then decides to elect Of
ficers, but Orchard tells them they are
behind the times, and he proceeds to en-
tighten them on the --latest. up-to-date
White House method" and shakes a dice
box. Mr.. Rockefeller lis seized with
alarming symptoms. He fears he is go
ing to have a rush of conscience to the
pocketbook," and offers to pay the $29,-
600 600 fine.
During the session a very large phono-
graph, with enormous horn, has been
placed on a table. After Rockefeller gets
back the phonograph is turned on. From
the horn issues these words:
oUndesirable citizens msndaeiGas
factors of great wealth. sheer inven-
tions," criminal rich,'' Shorter and
uglier word" mo swollen fortunes
After phonograph has finished and the
room is silent, the bunch bow low. and
say, in loud chorus: Our masters
voice." and go out.
New Member for Initiation.
The initiation of new member of the
Gridiron Club furnished an entertaining
skit. President Blythe is disturbed by a
| racket in the hall.
What is all that row about?"
| There is a candidate for initiation with
OUT
Without what?'
las he is from Indiana he is without
| pull or push
Let us see this curiosity
| Candidate enters alone to the tune of
| 'On the Banks of the Wabash" played by
the orchestra. He is met by two commit
teemen, who escort him TO the center of
the "wen.'D
| Mr.. President, we present for initiation
as a member of the Gridiron Club Mr..
James p. Hornaday, Washington cor
respondent of the indianapolis News"
From Indianapolis? Very fine. Com
paratively near the Capitol-relatvely re-
mote from the White House. Has he any
references to his standing as news
paper man."
He has here list of several hundred
Indiana literary men who, he says, will
| Who are they?'
Booth Harrington, Tom TaggaEt Ida
| Tarbell, George Ade, Ben Shively, James
Whitcomb Riley, Fred Lands, Charley
Lands, Judge Lands, Kenesaw Mountain
| Lands, Blue Mountain Landis Green
Mountain Lands, Rocky Mountain Landis,
Appalachian Chain Lands and some 9TH
ers."
THAT won't do at all. We want to hea,
from some live ones. Does he know any
one here?'
Mr. Hornaday allows that he knows
Vice President Fairbanks, Senator Bev.
eridge, Harry S. New and Senator Hem
enway, and that they would probably
vouch for him, but as each stands tc