Arizona republican., 1907-10-20
iMr. DOoIey on the Presi-
 dents Activities
By E. D. Dunne.

X Co.)
 Well, sir" said Mir Doolev. q sec be tn pa-apers that a great disgrace has fallen on this nation. I see be tn pa-apers ivry day that a great disgrace has fallen on tn nation. but this is tn worst yet"
 Good hivens. what is it?" asked Mir Heanessy.
 T hate to tell ye," said Mir. Dooley Iris too disgraceful Whisper. Tn president iv tn United States has been beat at lawn tennis. Worse thin that he was beat he bishop. Worse even thin that, he was beat be heretlck bishop.
 There it is in tn pa-apers in black an white. Tiddy Rosenfelt was in his back yard waitin' f'r some wan to come an perish befure his unconquered racket. He had laid low tn entire ad- ministhration. Sicrety Root was lean- in over a fence. Sicrety Taft was set tin on tn ground fannin himsilf with his bat Tn rest iv tn cab'net had pleaded sudden illness or governmint business an fled. Tn supreme coort
 
 fr a game iv mixed doubles they wud pick up their oyerskirts an go home an study tn weak spots iv tn consti- tution Tn ambassadures had tilly- grafted to their governmints askin' to be transferred to Morocco or some place where they cud live in compara- tive quiet.
 Tt begun to look as if Tiddy Rosen- felt was not goin' to be able to get up good prespiration an might have to put in tn afthernoon dOin' little light exercise like tossin' tn millyOnaire with Sicrety Garfield, whin Sicrety Lobe poked his head through a hole in tn fence an called out: 'Th' bishop iv London is here with a tennis bat an says he prayerfully thinks he cud knock ye'er exceliency's head off if ye give him a chanct.' Bring him in says Tiddy. with a light laugh. I have a gr-reat respect for the clergy, an I'll on'y beat him enough to show him that hes in a counthry now where tn state is supeeryor to tn church, he says. He iXpected to see a stout man with a pink face an side whiskers, wearin' knee brooches an an apron, but, in stead iv that. a tall. nimble athlete jumped over tn fence. flung his cas- sock an beretta in corner iv tn yard. handed his crozier to Sicrety Lobe. an cried: Come on, an tn divvle take l mane Hivia defind tn right
 Well. I can't give ye all tn details iv tn bloodthirsty encounter, as l read thim in tn pa-aper. I'm not up on lawn tennis. There hasn't been a ten his coort used in Archcy Road since I don't know wilin. We have thim, iv coorSc. but no wan uses thin. They're always full iv th' weeks washin'. or somebody is beatin' carpets in thim. or th' cow is lyin' dowIr in thim. In this part iv tn wurruld lawn tennis wudden't be recreation for us afther tn labors iv tn week. Afther jugglin' steel girders fr six days a man needs a hard days rest, an he gets 1t be rInnin' two-mile races playin' futball fr hours at a time or hoistin' eighths iv beer with wan hand. But lawn ten his must be a grand tough sport or Tiddy Roscnfelt wudden't like it. I am goin' to advise tn young hammer toss CTS an shot putters in this sportin' reighborhood to whitewash their over alls an take t up. IL must be a good healthy exercise whin q mans thruly tired out. an if ye'er opponents game don't suit ye. tn net is niver so high that ye can't jump over il. Tn way it's played is that wan man in white flannel pants knocks ball at another man in white flannel pants, an tn other man GOT lady) knocks it back an Clarence sinds it over again an Percy returns it to him. an so on till 'tis time fr dish iv tea. That's all l know about it. but it sounds exciting. Annyhow. in this here test iv brute strenth. manly courage an mental cum ming. tn pa-apeTs say Tiddy Rosenfelt was no match fr tn bishop. His grace give him his blessing an half-fifteen, whativer that is. an bate him till he was black an blue. accordin' to tn pa-apers.
 "Rut I dor't believe it. It ain't thrue Iris a device iv tn Dlutocratic press to discrcdit our foremost athlete, not barrin' JeffreEs. No man will con- vince me that Thaydore ROsenfelt isn't
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