Alaska sentinel., 1907-10-31
~~-~o~~~

again "hOh III oNah. VI tAA'NG A-is soul, you may be perfectly sure."- Kurger.
 "Say, Dick, what is the new fad they call phonetic spelllng?" Its the kind, Jim, they used to fog you and at school for using. ng."-Baltimore Ameri- can.
 What did old Gruff say when you told him you would like him to find you an opening In his office?' "He showed me the door," - Baltimore American.
 Patient-When you're III, doctor, do you treat yourself? No, call in one of my colleagues" Then can't I call in one of them-the one that cured youT-Kurger.
 Tommy-Pa, what Is the Isthmus of Panama? Pa-The Isthmus of Pan anna, Tommy, is narrow strip of land connecting Central America and the United States Treasury.-Ram's Horn.
 Mrs Highbridge-Do you find 1t more economical to do your own cook ing? Mrs. Burnham-Much more. l find my husband does not eat half so much as when we had a cook.-Scraps.
 Timkins-I hate that fellow Plant em. He is always talking shop. Simp klns-Plantem, the undertaken? limp kins-Yes. Every time I meet him he asks after my health.-Detroit Trib- une.
 Johns done right well up in the city, after all" Do tell" Yes; I've jes' hearn that he's recovered from one appendicitis, two ortermobiles, one heart failure an three business ones. Atlanta Constitution.
 How much postage will this re- quire?" asked the young author. "1t Is one of my manuscripts" TWO cents on ouHce," answered the post. office clerk. That's first-class mat ter" "oh, thank you Judge.
 Laundryman-I regret to tell you, sir, that one of your shirts is lost. Gus toner-But, here, I have just paid yoI 12 cents for doing It up. Laundryman Quite right, sir; we laundered It be- fore we lost it.-Harper's Weekly.
 Things are not as they used to be, '" said the man of melancholy remin.s- cences. No" answered Mir. Dustin stax regretfully. 'The times was when great wealth would get a man out of trouble. Now 1t gets him into It. Washington Star.
 This Is a queer world" sighed MT. splurgit. While I was wondering where I was going to get the money to pay the rent this month, happened in the kitchen and heard the washerwom- an say she'd just paid down S1,000 on new house."-Detroit Free Press. Doctor-what? Troubled with sleep 1 lessness? Eat something before going to bed. Patient-Why, doctor, you once told me never to eat anything before going to bed. with dlgnity)-Pooh, pooh! That was last January. Science ! has made enormous strides since then. -Ex.
 You'd make a pretty good clerk" !" said the employer, sarcastically, If you only had little more common sense." "Indeed!" replied the clerk. But did 1t ever occur to you that if l had little more common sense l wouldn't be a clerk at all?"-London Tlt-Bits.
 Housekeeper-I hear your brother, who died In California, left you $1,0OO, Dinah. That will be a great help to you. Washlady-Deedy it will, missis Ans been needin' a pianner an pho nograft an oil paintin' ob mahsalf in a gilt frame fo' yeahs, an now, press de good Lord, Ah kin hab 'em Puck.
 Lawyer-(examining witness)-Do you know the man who formerly owned this gun? Witness-Yes, sir. Lawyer -Is he In the courtroom? Witness No, sir. Lawyer-Where Is he? Wit. ness-I don't know. Lawyer-When and where did you see him last? Wit ness-Six months ago-at his funeral. Chicago News.
 Well" said he, anxious to patch ID their quarrel of yesterday, aren't you l curious to know what's in this pack age?" Not very," replied the still belligerent wife, indifferently. Well I it's something for the one love best in all the world" "Ah! suppose it's 1 those suspenders you said you needed. The Catholic Standard and Times.
 The big touring car had just whizzed by with a roar like a gigantic rocket l and Pat and Mike turned to watch il disappear in a cloud of dust. "Thim l chug wagons must cost hape ay