The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1907-09-25
UNTIMELY MESSAGES.
A Bit Of Business Enterprise That
Was Not Appreciated.

A story OF the del1gh1ully eHectlve
turning of the human worm comes
from the Chicago Record-Herald For
several weeks Raymond had been the
only tenant of his house Mrs. Ray
mond and the children were waiting
in the south for the weather to settle.
Late one evening, when Raymond was
In his bathtub, he heard somebody
ringing the front door bell.
He decided not to pay any attention
to it. The person who was doing the
ringing would presently get the idea
that nobody was at home and go
away.
But the ringing continued. Ray
mond went on scrubbing his back
with the long handled brush and rub
bling soap over himself and hoping
that the individual who was ringing
the bell might be good enough to quit
before the battery was exhausted or
the wires were worn out. At last,
when he could stand 1t no longer, he
got out of the water. put on a bath
robe and went to the front window,
from which he was able to see who
was at the door.
He beheld telegraph messenger
and at once began to feel queer in the
region of the heart. Something had
happened to his wife or one of the
children.
BE down in a minutev' he called
to the boy, and he was as good as his
word He did not wait to put on any
more clothes He even forgot that he
was barefooted.
When he had opened the door the
boy handed him what looked like a
telegram. but was, in fact, only a clev-
er imitation of one He tore open the
envelope and read this message:
Dear sir-Have you examined our ten
dollar overcoats? If not. you should do
SO at once They will interest you.
DASHINGTON,
CIothier and Haberdasher.
The boy, who wore a uniform like
that of a telegraph messenger, de-
parted while Raymond was reading
the advertisement, and thus probably
saved himself from being personally
assaulted.
Raymond was angry. He threw the
piece of paper on the floor and
stamped his heel on it; but, being
barefooted, he hurt his heel more than
he did the advertisement This did
not improve his temper.
His anger increased as the moments
passed. When he went to bed he
was in a fighting mood. He wonder
ed if it might not be possible to prose
cute a man who counterfeited tele
graph blanks for the purpose Of de
ceiving people. He tossed about, nurs
ing his anger against Washington anC
! vowing that he would go naked
through the streets rather than buy
so much as a necktie at the Dashing
ton store. Finally, at about 2 O'CLOCK
in the morning, happy though
struck him.
He hoped out Of bed, went to the
telephone, found Dashington's house
number and called for it. Reasonably
soon somebody sleepily asked wha
was wanted
as this Mr.. Dashington's resi-
dence"
eyes"
| II should like to speak to him."
"He can't be disturbed at this tim,
of night. Call in the morning"
''No; must speak to him now"
won't you give me your message ?
mo; must speak to him personal
| ly"
"But do you realize what time it is 2
Eyes, but l am very anxious tt
| speak to him at once. Please call hin
to the telephone at once"
| After a long time another sleepy
voice was heard.
Hello! Is this Dashfngton" asked
/ Raymond.
/ eyes"
"Well, I just wanted to tell you tina
l got your telegram late this evening
and don't think care to look at any
/ of those ten dollar overcoats.
thought you'd be anxious to know
whether the messenger succeeded II
finding me, so r.
There were jumb1ed chunks of Ian
guage mixed with sounds indicating
that the instrument at the other enc
was being subjected to harsh usage
and then silence. After this Raymond
went back to peaceful sleep and pleas