Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1907-09-10
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II you have anything to say to
mule, say it to his face. - Chicago
Daily News.
An1hropology Instructor-w What effect
mas the climate on the Eskimo? Stu
dent-Cold feet.-Harvard Lampoon.
officer-Seen anything of my bag.
gage, sentry? Sentry-She's waitiu,
round the corner for We, sir!-Regi-
ment
Did | tell you the story of the old
! church beli?" mo. Let's hear IL"
Sorry, but it can be tolled only on
Sunday. cleveland Plain Dealer.
He-So they got married ana went
off in their new motor car. She-And
where did they spend their honey
noon? Hen the DISQUALIFICATION
Tit-Bits.
Foote Lighte-Has your sister
strong part in the new piece? Miss Sue
Brette-Why, yes; she has to carry
around one of those heavy spears =
Yonkers Statesman.
Mrs Kelly-'Tis another of thin
soovyneer post guards from me darter
Maggie-the foorth this month, be-
CORY! She sinds me wan every tonne
she changes her place.-Puck.
Anxious Mother-I hope you are not
thinking of marrying young Garrison.
He spends every cent he earns. Pretty
Daughter-Oh, we'll, he doesn't earn
very much.--Chicago Daily News.
do you ever talk back to your
wifeT asked the solicitous friend.
Sometimes" answered Mr.. Meekton;
"a very little; just to show her that
have not gone to p"-Chicago Daily
News.
Tommy-Does it make any difference
If baby takes all his medicine at once?
Baby's Mother Gin horror) GOOD heav-
ensl OF course it does Tommy
But it hasn't made any difference
Punch.
Mrs. Wickwire-If you go first, you
will wait for me ON the other shore,
won't you, dear? Mr.. Wickwire-I sup
pose so. l never went anywhere yet
without having to wait for you.-Illus-
trated Bits.
ANY accident in your motor trip
through Italy and France, Morgan?"
Nothing worth mentioning. My wife
was thrown out and bruised a bit, but
the machine lever got so much as
scratch. Life.
so Jacks been made secretary and
treasurer of the company, has hep
Yes. He has to copy all the letters,
and take all the deposits to the bank,
and, oh, Mary, I'm so proud Of him."
-Harper's Bazaar.
Church, like to see a man who can
forget an injury. Gotham-Well, there's
that neighbor of mine; he's suing the
railroad company for an injured leg,
and every once in while he forgets to
limp !-Yonkers Statesman.
A kind old gentleman, seeing small
loy who was carrying lot Of news
papers under his arm. said: Don't
all those papers make you tired, my
boy?" NAV; 1 don't read en- re-
piled the lad.-Canadian Courier.
but to my mind" said the clerical
tourist from the East, "a plurality or
wives Is unspcakable." Huh" snort
ed the good-natured Mormon. II never
even heard of one wife that was I'M
speakable "-Philadelphia Press.
Young Lady-You are a wonderful
master of the piano, hear. Professor
Won Spieler (hired for the occasion(-
blay aggompaniments zometimes. "Ac-
compartments to singing? "Aggom-
paniments to conversations. "-Tattler
Waiter-Mr. Browns left his umbrel-
la again, sir 1 do believe he'd leave
his head If it were loose. Robinson
dare say you're right. / heard him
say only yesterday he was going to
Switzerland for his lungs.-Ally S!oper.
Church-See that man going along
with his head in the air, smiling with
his nose? Gotham-Yes; l know him.
| Church, suppose he believes in taking
in the good, pure ozone? Gotham-No;
he's hunting for an automobile garage,
l believe.-Yonkers Statesman.
81 cracked a lawyers house the 9TH
or night" said the first burglar, dis
gustedly, "and the lawyer was there
with a gun all ready for me. He adj
yised me ter git out" you got off
easy" replied the other. Not much
didn't! He charged me $50 for de adj
vice. "-Philadelpbia Press.
an the summer" remarked the obese
passenger with the big diamond stud,
people should eat nothing but cold
food and drink the coolest water OBJ
tainable" "Ah!" exclaimed the rail-
way detective, you are evidently a doc
torY' mot me-" replied the o. p. I'm
an Ice er"-Chicago News.
Parson Con bicycling trip)-Where
is the other man who used to be here
as keeper? Park Gate1eeper-He's
dead, sir. Parson with feeling
Poor fellow! Joined the great MAORI
ty, eh? Park Gatekeeper-Oh, I
wouldn't like to say that, sir. He was
good enough man, as far as ! know.
Punch.