The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-10-26
~~~N~~~~NN

blows-Nos Loisirs.
There are only two kinds of children
your own perfect little cherubs and
the ill-behaved brats owned by other
people.-Town Topics.
II, SIR" began Bragg, lam a self
made man." YES" replied Wise. "but
why apologize nowf That won't help
matters"-Philadelphia Press
Zone to-day is worth two to-mor-
rows" said the philosopher. You're
another" replied Pat. "Tomorrow's
pay day."-Chicago Record-Herald.
Editors Wife-Listen how the tea
kettle sings, my dear! Editor-Small
wonder! put lot Of Spring Songs"
In the fire just neutrality-suspicious.
Batter.
Patience-What reason had she for
marrying him? Patrice-Why, he had
money. Patience-That Is not rea-
son; that Is an excuse.-Yonkers
Statesman.
American Magnate-What! You in
sist upon my settling a million on you?
Why, yesterday you said only 100000.
Duke-But since then I've seen the
girl.-Town Topics.
| Mistress Ito new maid)-Above all
things, I expect you to be reticent.
Maid-Yes, ma'am, certainly. (Curi-
ously) But what is there to be reti-
cent aboutf-Lustige Batter.
Marie, can't you play tennis with
out making al that noisef" "Now,
ma, who In the world ever heard of
anyons's playing tennis without q
racQuetT-Baltimore American.
Jorkins-Drugged and robbed! Why
don't you have some action taken In
the matterf Jobson-I can't. I sup
pose the fellow had my permission.
You see, he was my doctor.-New
Yorker.
He (bitterly)-You have no heart.
She-What nonsense He-It's the
truth You flirt outrageously with ev-
cry man you meet She-Then must
have very large heart to give little
Of 1t to 90 many.-Brooklyn Eagle.
Daughter-So, mamma. you desire
me to marry Mr.. Baldhead. 1 simply
detest him; he's perfect idiot; 1t
would take too long to enumerate all
his faults. Mother-very well, my
dear; you'll be able to tell him all
that when you are married.-Pele Mele.
Pinch-Don't get foolish Just because
you've had a little money left to you.
You'd better be economical now. Gay
iey-Ahl it's too hard. Pinch-But II
you don't live economically now you'll
have to later. Gayley-well, It isn't
30 hard to be economical when you
have to.
Mrs. Egerton Blunt-But why did
you leave your last place? Applicant
IL couldn't stand the way the mis-
tress and master used to quarrel, mum.
Mrs E. B. hocked)-Dear mel Did
they quarrel very much, then? Appli-
cant-Yes, mum; when 1t wasn't me
an I'm, 1t was me an 'er.-Answers.
wilhelm-well, old man, haven't
seen you for an age. And how do you
find matrimony suits your Johann
(sighing)-It's an expensive Joy. II I
had only known what had to pay in
milliners' bills Wilhelm-You
would have remained single, Ell? Jo-
hann-No. I would have married the
Enthusiastically Blatter.
Mr.. Housekeep-For goodness sake
What are You crying about7 Mrs.
Housekeep- got mad and left
this afternoon (soo) without a mo-
ment's (sob) notice. Mr.. Housekeep-
Well, you were going to discharge her.
anyway. Mrs. Housekeep-I know
(sob). That's the trouble. She (sob)
got ahead of me.-Philadelphia Press.
THAT city man spent Sunday with
you, didn't her? said Farroway. what
did he say about your placer -Oh."
replied subbubs, "he talked nonsense
said 1t was a pity I didn't buy a place
nearer the station" "Well, well II
"Yes; told him the real pity was
that my place wasn't near enough to
the station to sell.
Press.
yah, therel" angrily exclaimed
Saymold Storey, who had curied him
self I'D and gone to sleep on the sunny
side Of an ash barrel In the alley.
"wot re pokin' me thataway furT'
"Oxcuse me, blease." said the rag.
picker. dropping his iron hook in as
constituent. II It'd not know ders voa
man inside Of dem !"-Chicago Trib-
une.
Henpeck-Did you hear OF the nervy
thing Meekley -didf Underthum-
Meekleyf The Ideal What was 1t,
Henpeck-His wife went to her club
the other night and when she came
back abe found the door locked. Meek
ley kept her waiting for fully two min.
utes before he answered the bell and
then he pretended he had locked the
door absent-mindedly.
The New Cook-Piaze. mum, the
A,,ksA,a- Ala ha foiIint ma aotn atht N, fhis