The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1907-03-24

enc should always steer toward
what light there is" She stood be-
hind my chair. put her hands on my
shoulders, and rested her chin light
" on the top of my head. Besides.
/ can trust you. Whatever direction
you take, you're sure 20 win in the
end"
l was glad IL was dark. An hour
after I went TO bed ! heard some one
stirring in the honse-it seemed to me
there was a voice. too. l rose and
went into the hall, and 50, softly 10
my mothers room. Her door Was
ajar She was near the window.
kneeling there, praying-for me.
l had not been long in the legisla-
ture before l saw that my position
was even more contemplate than l
anticipated. So contemplate. indeed.
was il that, had / not been away from
home and among those as basely sit
uated as myself, il would have sbeen
intolerable--a convict infinitely pre-
fers the penitentiary to the chain
gang Then. too there was consola-
ton in the fact that the people. my
fellow citizens. in their stupidity and
did not realize what public Office had
come to mean At home they be-
iieved what the machine-controlled
newspapers said of me-that Iswas
manly, independent young man..
that | was making vigorous stand
for what was honest in public AZ
fairs" that / was the honorable and
distinguished son of an honorable and
distinguished father" How often !
read those and similar eulogies OF
young men just starting in public
life, And is IL not really amazing
that the people believe. that they
never say TO themselves: but, IL he
were actually what he so. loudly pro-
fesses to be, how could he have got
public office from boss and ma
chine?"
| soon gave up trying to fool N.Y.
self into imagining / was the serv-
ant of the people by introducing or
speaking for petty little popular
measures. i saw clearly that graft
was the backbone, the whole skele-
ton of legislative business, and that
its fleshly cover of pretended public
service could be seen only by the
blind. l saw. also. that no one In
the machine of either party had any
real power. The state boss of our
party, United States Senator Dunkirk,
was creature and servant of corpor-
ations Silliman, the state boss of
the opposition party, was the same.
but got less for his services because
his party was hopelessly in the mi
nority, end its machine could be use
full only as a sort of supplement and
scapegoat.
With the men at the top, Dunkirk
and Silliman, mere lackeys. / saw my
own future plainly enough. / saw my
self crawling on year after year
crawling one of two roads. Either I
should become political scullion. q
wretched party hack, despising my.
self and despised by those who used
me. or / should develop into lack.
ey's lackey, or plain ackey.
the lieutenant of boss or
boss, so-called-a derisive name.
really, when the only kind of boss.
ship open was head political procurer
to one or more rich corporations or
groups of corporations. / felt l should
probably become a scullion, as
thought 1 had no taste or instinct for
business, and as / was developing
some talent for mixing" and for dis
pensiug "hot air. from the stump.
/ turned these things over and over
in my mind with an energy that
sprang from shame, from thef knowl-
edge of what my mother would think
If she knew the truth about hereson.
and from a realization that L was
no nearer marrying Betty Crosbysthan,
before. At last wrought MYSELF
into a sullen fury beneath a calm sur
face. The lessons In self-restrafnt
and self-hiding learned in that first
of my two years as assemblymAn
have been invaluable
When / entered upon my second
and last winter was outwardly az
serene,as-as aeyolcano on the verge
Of eruption.