The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-06-23

THIS is the story of Runty Smithers,
as told TO me by sundry and various
citizens of Paradise, Arizona
Archibald Anstruther Smithers was
born of rich and respectable parents
in the city of Richmond, Ind. His edu-
cation was that of young men of the
middle states. He was taught to have
faith respect his conscience and be hon
est He knew there were people in
the world with little regard for law
and order, for he had read books and
newspapers. but they figured as things
remote, like Pompeii and the fixed
stars. His upraising was on strictly
conventional lines; his scheme of eX-
istenee was bounded by the limited eX-
perienee obtained among a refined and
intellectual mountaineering. deli
cate constitution compelled him to
foreso the rougher sports of youth, so
he devoted his time mainly TO the pur-
suit of knowledge-bOOk knowledge,
which is learning. OF world knowledge
he was ignorant. A slight impeachment
in his speech, the disadvantage of
which he was prone to magnify, made
him shy in the presence Of strangers.
A weIl-marked idiosyncrasy in his
character was his fear of bodily in
Jury 1t was more than timidity; II
was abject physical cowardice. AS
moral courage and sense of duty were
among his prominent traits, his utter
lack of physical courage was accent
uated. Developing tubercular tendencies
during his last year at college, this
studiOus. quiet, timid young man was
given a letter of credit and much advice
by his busy father, a chamois skin
undervest and a clOudburst of tears
by his loving mother and departed for
Arizona to seek the robust health his
physician predicted an outdoor life IN
that latitude would confer.
When Archibald Anstruther reached
Paradise his general appearance must
have failed, in many respects, TO coin
eide with the atmosphere OF that hust-
ling community. Big Bill Jernlgan IN
formed me, frankly but confidentially,
that he certainly looked like the
devil" AS subsequent questioning de-
veloped the fact that Mr.. Jernlgan had
not seen his Satanic majesty as yet.
I have always assumed his language
to have been figurative on that Oc-
casion. From other sources / gathered
that Archibald Anstruther was short
and slight, thin and pale of face, hol-
low chested, and with a scholarly
stoop to his shoulders. The spectacles
he wore We're rendered necessary by
extreme nearsightedness. Following
a custom of the free and unfettered
west, Lonesome Linthicum dubbed him
"Runty" at their first interview, and
Runty he remained TO the end of the
story.
Mr.. Smithers neither drank, smoked
nor gambled. He did not know how to
load or fire a gun and used a knife
only for the subdivision of his food.
On the few occasions he was present
at alterations between two or more
gentlemen he had, l was Informed,
event white ana hOt-foOte3 for cover"
1t was perhaps but natural that the
rough and ready residents of Paradise
should hold him at first, in light es-
TEEN. He was inCOngruous-a tender
foot He did not fit. Physically, and
in many ways mentally and morally,
ne was everything that they were not.
But when Billy EaTle's brOnchO step
ped in a hole and broke Billy's leg in
stead of the broncho's, Runty Smithers
spent days and nights caring for Bill
ly and loaned him money for his doc
tors bill. And when Pap JOhnson's
ten-year-old boy was stricken with
diptheria, Runty brought q bag Of
clothes TO the house, drove Pap off to
his work, and saved the child's life by
careful nursing. These and many 9TH
er evidences of unseIfishness, genCros-
ity and humanity eventually gained
him not only the good will but the
genuine respect of his neighbors
Three-Fingered Pete expressed the
general opinion when he said that for
a gent that turns pale at the sight OF
a gun. Runty is the whitest cuss with
the biggest heart, ever SEEN"
One night Jake Sweeny rarlook OF
the cup that cheers and also inebriates
and did what Bill Jernigan described
as some prOmiscuOus shOotin' with
various deleterious results" and Para
disc decided in solemn conclave a mar
shall was needed. Lonesome Linthicunn
straight, 1.-THE, supple, gray-eyed and
fearless, would have been unanimous
ly selected at the time, but that ar
election was deemed the straight and
regular course to pursue. On the day
of the voting some joker conceived il
would be great fun to cast a ballot fol
Runty Smithers. Being unselfish, hS
shared his jest with a few friends, who
followed his example and explained the
humor OF the occasion to a few of then
friends. And when the votes were
counted it was found the humorists
were in the majority. Runty Smithers
was elected marshal of Paradise by 9
vote of eighty-six TO sevenUy-eight
Paradise sat up and began to take no.
tice.
A meeting was hastily called in
Three-Fingered Pete's saloon and q
resolution was offered for committe.
of three, which committee should cal
on Mr. Smithers. inform MIN that tho
whole matter was a mistake, direct
his attention to his manifest unfitness
for the position and request his with