Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1907-09-13
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Aoos'ShSSh " NV ILLS
start? Porter-When the whistle
blows.-Nos Loisirs.
There are eAly two Sinds OF children
your own perfect little cherubs and
the ~ill-behaved brats owned by other
people.-Town Topics.
II, sir" began Bragg, Jam a self
made man." Yes" replied Wise, 'but
why apologize now? That won't help
Observation-Disclosures Press.
"one to-day is worth two to-mor-
rows" said the philosopher. Yours
another" replied Pat. 'Tomorrow's
pay day."-Chicago Record-Herald.
Editors Wife-Listen how the tea
kettle sings, my dear! Editor-Small
wonder! put q lot OF Spring Songs
in the fire just neutrality-suspicious.
Batter.
Patience-What reason had she for
marrying him? Patrice-Why, he had
money. Patience-That is not a rea-
Statesman.
American Magnate-What! You In
sist upon my settling n million on you1
Why, Yesterday You said only 100000.
\ Duke-But since then I've seen the
girl.-T'own Topics.
Mistress ito new maid}-Above al
things, | expect you to be reticent
Maid-Yes. ma'am, certainly. (Curi-
ously) But what is there to be reti-
cent abont?-Lustige Batter.
Marie, cant you play tennis with
out making all that noise." .'Now,
ma, who In the world ever heard Of
anyone's playing tennis without Z
Observation-Disclosures American.
Jorkins-Drngged and robbed! Why
don't you nave some action taken In
the matter? Jobson-I can't. I sup
pose the fellow had my permission
You see, he was my doctor.-New
Yorker.
He (bitterfyl-You have no heart.
She-What nonsense! He--It,s the
truth. You 1frt o~utrageously with ev-
cry man you meet. She-Then | must
have a very large heart to give a little
of 1t to so many.-BrookIyn Eagle.
Daughter-So, mamma, you desire
me to marry MI. Baldhead. I simply
detest him he's a perfect idiot; It
would take too long to enumerate all
his faults. Mot1er-Very well, my
dear: you'll be able to tell him all
that when you are married pele Mele.
Pinch-Don't get foolish just because
you've had a little money left to you.
You'd better be economical now. Gay.
ley-Ah! it's too hard. Pinch-But if
you don't live economically now you'n
have to later. Gayley-Well, II isn't
SO hard to be economical when you
have to.
Mrs. Egerton Blunt-But why did
you leave your last place? Applicant
II couldn't stand the way the mis-
tress and master used to quarrel, mum.
Mrs. p. b. (shocked)-Dear mel Did
they quarrel very much, then? ApplE
cant-Yes, mum when It wasn't me
an i'm. It was me an 'er.-AnswerA-
wilhelm-Well, old man, I haven't
seen you for an age. And how do you
and matrlmony suits your Johann
(sighlng)-It's an expensive JOY. II I
had only known what I had to pay IN
miHiners' Bills W.helm-You
would have remained single, eh7 Jo-
hann-No. 1 would have married the
mllliner.-Lustige Batter.
Mr.. Housekeep-For goodness saksil
What are you crying about7 Mr..
Housekeep-Bridget got mad and left
this afternoon (sob) without q mo-
ment's (sob) notice. Mr.. Housekeep-
Well, you were going to discharge her.
anyway. Mrs. HousekeeprI Know
(sob). That's the trouble. She (sob)
got ahead Of me.-Philadelphia Press
THAT city man spent Sunday with
you, didn't he?" said Farroway. What
did he say about your placer "Oh,"
replied Subbubs, 'he talked nonsenses
said it was a pity 1 didn't buy a place
nearer. the station" .Well, well r.
Yes, I told him the real pity was
that my place wasn't near enough to
the station to sell."-Philadelphia
Press.
yah, there!" angrily exclaimed
Saymold Storey, who had curled him
self up and gone to sleep on the sunny
side of an ash barrel in the alley.
"Wot We pokin' me thataway fur?'
"Oxcuse me, blease," said the rag
picker, dropping his iron hook in az
constituent. II It'd not know dere vos
a man inside of dem Chicago Trib-
une.
Henpeck--Did you hear Of the nervy
thing Meekley did? Underthum-
Meekley? The idea. What was I'll
Henpeck His wife went to her club
the other night and when she cams
back she found the door locked. Meek
ley kept her waiting for fully two min
utes before he answered the bell and
then he pretended he had locked thu
door absent-nindedly.
The New Cook-plaze, num-, the
butcher did be teliin' me somethin' this
Raor-rnin' th't I'm not afther under
stt:a..nain' 1T all. at all. The Old Mis-
tress-And what was that? The New
Cook-He toWld me he'd give me Z
commission on all the meat I bought
az him. phwat does that mean? The
Old Mistress-It means that we're GO
ing to have a new MISUNDERSTANDING
Leader.
No-ncomnrTttal.
Guilty or not g~uilty2"
...r =, 49, IT