davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1907-03-03
MR.. BRYCE as AN ATHLETE.
President of Alpine Club, and Can
Walk 30 suit President

President of Alpine Club, and Can
walk 10 suit President.
Prom an address by Richard Watson Glider.
II one should wish to trace the work
ing Of public opinion in the processes of
American government he could find no
better guide than the treatise on the
American Commonwealth by him whose
appointment to the post Of British Am
bassador TO the United States is honor
able alike 10 the government which made
IL and the people 70 whom he is sent
the Right Hon. James Bryce. I notice,
by the way, that in a recently reported
conversation that eminent citizen Of Chi
cago. 8Ir. Dooley. in describing with ac-
curacy the athletic requirements Of for
eign ambassadors under the present re-
gime at Washington, expresses his doubts
as to the muscular development and ca
pacity on the part Of the new and not
altogether youthful representative OF the
Court Of ST. James I may tell you IN
confidence that / have written 70 Mr..
Dunno. Mr.. Dooleys amiabIe representa-
tive. now residing in New York, in order
TO give him an inkiing Of the real diplo-
matte situation. which is in fact, some
what ominous to this country
1t would have been strange indeed had
the present Liberal government Of Great
Britain been caught nappng-wheR It
contains so many members well ac-
quainted with the United States. its peo-
pie. and. still more to the point. its Presi-
dent. Now. when that true gentleman
who while with US endeared himself 10
so many Of our citizens with whom he
came in social contact-when Sir Mortimer
Dursnd first arrived IN America II was
supposed that he was considerable Of "a
walker, not 20 say an expert mountain
climber. A test was soon made, and ]
was informed by the ambassador himself
that In that test the President nearly
killed him. Now what has happened? The
British government has sent 10 Washing
ton the llveliest Splinter in British pub
lie life; the President Of the Alpine Club:
the man whose ordinary walk is some
thing In the nature Of a run. one of
Britains chief mountain climbers; who
writes books about mountains; the very
man who once while staying at Colorado
Springs took in Pixies Peak before break
fast What our great diplomatic athlete
Is going 10 do about It We shall all soon
find out Meantime I confess that I trem-
bic for our trea lies.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-03

And he purchased bat and a very fine coat
With trousers and stockings and shoes
Crayat and shirt. collar and gollheaded cane.
Then, as proud could be. he marc d up the lane,
said he; Il shan hear all the nee
This pig Is 10 be found in nearly all cOm-
munities. He had observed that when he
went about simply as an unmitigated pig
he received but little attention, and act
ing on this experience, as many do when
suddenly coming into possession of some
money, he spent all on clothes, hoping
thus TO improve his appearance and make
himself attractive. and especially to hear
all the news" He had noticed that when
he had no fine clothes those whom he adj
dressed on the street and inquired for
the news were not disposed TO waste time
on him, and he felt sure that in his finery
he would be treated with more courtesy.
The pig had learned this not only from
his own experience, but from observation.
He felt that now, as he was. arrayed like
the lilies, no one. not even the most re-
served and highest In standing, would
refuse TO recognize, converse with, and
impart to him the news. he knew that
as a rule "the tailor makes the mar"
and that people are usually judged by
their clothes. and that the rule also ap-
piled to pigs.
Yet this pig with all his finery and HIS
gold-headed cane was only a pig, and
all the other pigs and grown-up hogs
who met and grunted out compliments on
| account solely OF his fine clothes, and
told him the news, were acting the same
part which distinguishes many people.
who, although not physical pigs, are car
RED away by admiration Of fine apparel,
! even in pig. and whose only claim TO
| recognition is their clothing. The ass who
/ clothed himself in a lions skin was quite
| successful until he was detected, and, per-
/ haps, the pig discovered after a while
that with all his fine raiment he was
nothing but a pig. and a very foolish pig
at that.
The human pig, OF which this one is a
| model, always sets ct store by his
! handsome appearance .--a Npects 10 re-
ceive the admiration ! Ill 4 he girls. and
wonders why they a. nGt * srwhelm him
with compliments. lie = $ eyesore and
/ nuisance Of every respectable community.
/ He belongs 10 that species Of which the
end-seat hog is a member-who would
not move to give his grandmother a seat
/ in the street cars. He is known as q
! street-coTner idler. who stands and gazes
/ impudently into the faces of passing
ladies. and is often spared the kick from
/ indignant gentlemen simply 10 avoid a
7 scene in the street
The Washington herald., 1907-03-03
INSPIRED BY THE HERALD.

Rochester Herald: The Washington Her
aid fears that this gift-giving mania may
increase the price Of oil to SLSS a gallon
OF course, it means per second gallon.
New York Mail: 500, 672.6l cigars
were smoked last year" says the observ-
ant staustician of The Washington Herald.
Wouldn't bought be more accurate?
Houston Post: The Washington Herald
says: Carrie Nation must sometimes bit
terry regret that she wasn't born and
reared in London II she doesn't, there
are many people in this country who do
Louisville Courier-Journal: Secretary
Shaw is, according to The Washington
Herald. surrounded by gloon" Secretary
Taft has an advantage in that there is
not enough gloom in the United States to
stretch entirely around him.
Rome (Ga) Tribune: Mr.. Jaggers. of
Kentucky, will doubtless appreciate the
laudatory remarks of The Washington
Herald regarding him. Mr.. Jaggers is
one of Kentuckys most eminent citizens
in many respects; he is also numerous
there.
Atlanta Constitution: The Washington
Herald INDUCES in waste of words when
it pronounces Washington the greatest
pie-eating city in the world" The nation
is familiar with the Establishments of the
Washington pie-counter, as well as its
pork-barrel
Richmond News-Leader: 1.-The only pos
sible way for Mr.. Harry Lehr's apollo
gists TO prove that he didn't make a mon
key of himself in Berlin IS to demonstrate
positively that he did not get the chance"
says The Washington Herald. Or, rather,
perhaps. that he hasn't been in Berlin
Columbia State: The Washington Herald
says that in his $4,000 lecture tour this
year Tillman is free 10 speak on any
subject he may choose. so long as his eff
fort is the Characteristic Tillman speech. 3"
Yes, for it IS the style. not the substance,
that the people pay to hear. We hope he
will continue to spread the false impress
sion that the South is on the verge of
race war. And when he says the South
does not need developing capital from the
North, let him announce that such decla-
ration is his own unsupported and unsus-
tanned opinion.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-03
An Arrument for Control.

From the Chicago Record Herald
Railroads are not private enterprises in
which profits are automatically regulated.
They are public utilities that have their
origin and being in franchises and special
privileges, and the grantors Of these es-
sential privileges viii not pay dividends
to spectators and promoters on the basis
Of their ability TO manipulate and juggle
and convert public assets into private
sources of revenue Capitalization and
dividends vii, not much longer be left
to the fancy Of high financiers posing as
railroad experts. Whatever amendments
the commerce and trust acts may require
TO whatever extent legitimate combination
and pooling may be wisely allowed. public
control is the condition precedent 10 all
extension of railway power. Mr.. HaTri-
mans -bTilltancy" is a brilliant argument
for such control
The Washington herald., 1907-03-03

By the narrow majority Of twelve votes,
the subsidy advocates have driven
through the lower House of Congress a
last-ditch measure providing for subsi-
dies to steamship lines running from At
lantic and Gulf ports TO Central and South
America, the lines for the establishment
OF which Secretary Root has exerted his
influence. Only by eliminating from the
bill all subsidy for the Pacific lines, which,
as is we'll known, are owned by interests
possessing ample means. were the leaders
of the majority able TO secure the pas
sage Of any subsidy bill at all. But three
votes were needed by the minority to de-
feat the motion to reconsider the vote by
which the Littauer substitute was re-
jected on the first roll call. From one
point of view, therefore. it appears that
the minority is responsible for its own
failure TO defeat the subsidy bill, as Mr..
Williams was obviously not accorded the
full support of his party's strength in the
House. The various excuses offered for
this failure are not wholly satisfying.
The various roll calls taken in the House
on Friday show conclusively that the
ship-subsidy principle has not gained
Roadway among the Republicans, and that
even i'm a very moderate form the pro-
posal to substitute shipping is obnoxious
to a majority of the present House. In
genious as have been the appeals of the
subsidy advocates to the patriotism of
members. plausible as their arguments
have been to show the commercial need
of fast mail lines, they have not been able
to overcome the feeling that the present
bill Is only an entering wedge. and that
big mail subsidies are intended to be but
the precursor Of cargo subsidies. Much
has been made OF the plea that the Lit
tauer bill is merely an ocean mail meas
ure. but Mr.. Grosvenor's admission that
the subsidies which 1t provides would pay
/ IS per cent Of the cost of operation Of the
favored steamship lines throws an en-
tirely new light on that proposition. When
Uncle sam is asked to pay IS per cent OF
the expense Of a commercial enterprise,
such payments can hardly be regarded as
nothing more than legitimate recompense
for carrying the mails. 1t is, in fact, a
subsidy pure and simple, and as such a
majority Of the members Of the House OBJ
viously consider IL, Notwithstanding a
lumber Of them were forced to swallow
their convictions under the lash of the
party whip.
We approve the action Of the Demo
cratic minority in the Senate in blocking
| consideration Of the House substitute.
There is no pressing necessity for subsidy
IleeisIstfon and public sentiment is not
/ clamorous for it. The bin should meet a
welcome death in the upper body.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-03

strained TO create new Offices. new courts. raise
salaries. and do other needfuI things ad hbitum
Down with the Constitution! On with the era Of
unrestraint."
There, then. is the story. in all of its
hideous and cruel details. What can be
done TO save "the ham what amp II
ought to be saved. and It must be saved.
But how? We cannot have a law that
applies 70 one ham and not to another.
All hams look alike to Uncle Sans law
makers No matter how well intentioned
the law Of the land. It cannot fail to ap-
pail when it breeds rank treason within
the hearts Of the rural press-the bone
and sinew of the honest thought and
sentiment Of the land. Having led US into
this wilderness of trouble, we call upon
Congress. and quick at that, TO get US
out The ham what am" for Us. II
must be saved.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-03
THE SPOILER.

with apologies to The VAMPIRE
A woman there was and she wrote for the pres
(As you or / might dol.
She told how to cut and fl a dress,
And how 10 stew many a ssT0y mess.
But she never had done it herself, ] guess
(Which none Of her readers knew
Oh the hour we spent and the -four spent,
And the sugar we wasted like sand
Al the hest Of a woman who never had cooked
land now we know that she never could cook
And did not understand.
A woman there was and she wrote night fair
(As you or might dol.
How out Of a barrel to make chair,
To be covered with Chint1 and stuffed with hair
'Twculd sdorn any paFlor and give IL an air!
land We thought the tale was tue.
ca. the days We worked and the ways re worked
To hammer and saw and hack
IN making a chair in which no one would sit
A chair in which no one could possibly sit
Without a crick in his back.
A woman there was and she had fun
Better than you or u;
She wrote recipes and she never tried one
She wrote about children-Of course she had none:
She told Us to do what she never had done
sAnd never intended to tFyl.
And il isn't to toll and it isn't to SPOIL
That brims the cup Of disgrace;
It's to follow a woman who didn't know beans
a woman who never had cooked any beaasl
But wrote and was paid 20 I'll space.
The CongTsgationalist.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-03
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES.

Above his grave the grass and snow
Their soft antiphonal stTophes write:
MoOnrise and daybreak come and 60;
summer by summer on the height
The thrushes find melcdious breath
Here let DO vagTant winds that blow
Across The spaces If the night
Whisper Of death
They do not die who leave their thought
Imprinted on some deathless page.
Themselves may pass: the spell they wrought
Endures on earth from age O. age.
And thou, whose voice but yesterday
Fell upon charmed listening ears,
Thou shalt not know the touch Of years;
Thou boldest time and chance at bay.
As when It's cadence first was heard,
Q gracious poet and benign,
Beloved presence, now as then
Ihou standest BY the heaTtbs Of men.
Their frCside Joys and gricfs are thine;
Thou speakest 70 them Of their dead
They listen and are oomforted
They break the bread ard pour the wine
of life with thee. as in those days
Men saw thee passing on the street
Beneath the clms-0 reverend feet
That walk in far celestial ways
Thomas B. Aldrich
The Washington herald., 1907-03-03
SUNDAY. MARCH 5, 1907.
A Virginia Judge on Unwritten Law

virginia IuQEG on NnNfAAlGu Law
4 word of commentator is due Judge
Thomas W. Harrison, who is presiding in
the trial Of the Strothers at Culpeper. Va.
for his timely warning TO the lawyers
engaged upon the case. that the ''unwTit-
ten law should not be improperly in
voked in behalf of the defendants 80
far as any court in the State Of Virginia
is concerned" the judge has ruled, no
such law is known or is ever entertained,
if by 'unwritten law is meant that a per-
son can take in his own hands the right
ing Of wrongs. Pleas based on such doc
trine can only be admitted in mitigation,
and not in justification"
This is sound law in Virginia, as every
where else, but it is well that an occa-
sional reminder Of it should issue from
an authoritative source to counterfeit the
maudlin sentimentality which is heard
nowadays on every hand with respect to
a certain class of homicides. We do not
mean to say that in a particular case
substantial justice may not be meted out
under the ''unwritten law" but only that
the administration Of justice by that
method has been superseded in all civil
lied countries, for the very good reason
that it is fraught with grave dangers to
the community. The code of private
vengeance affords a too easy excuse for
the evil propensities OF men. and in a
country where homicide is so prevalent
it ought to be frowned upon as an en-
enlargement Of crime and as unworthy
an advanced and humane people.
such an utteranCe as that of Judge
Harrison, in a case attracting wide atten-
ton. should have an excellent influence in
creating a sounder public opinion regard
ing justifable homicide. Our national
conscience is much too ready TO condor,
the taking of human life under provoca-
tive circumstances
The Washington herald., 1907-03-03
CAPITOL GOSSIP.


The ship subsidy bill was met by ''2S''
all along the line yesterday in the Senate.
The cabaIistic number confronted the bill
at every turn Democratic Senators had
announced their determination to talk the
measure to death II that should prove
necessary. but the Republican leaders
thought they might be able TO oEttalk the
opposition, and so the issue was Joined
soon after the days session began. When
three Senators were recorded against the
bill, all Of whom We're Democrats except
Mr. Clapp, Of Minnesota. On the next test
vote, twenty-thTee showed uD again.
When the third test was had and twenty
three votes were again recorded against
the bill, Senator SDooner and others Of it's
supporters were reminded by Mr.. Kean.
'Of New Jersey, that he felt sure the
IhoOdOO number would eventually XIII the
bill. Senator Gallinger, father of the
original measure was told this. too, but
he seemed not to understand the terrible
Significance of "Z3." Mr. Kean tried TO ex-
plain II to him, as did also Mr. Spooner.
and finally the veteran, Mr.. Allison, who
sits next TO Mr.. SDooner, and had been
coached huFriedly by the Wisconsin
statesman in the mysterious powers Of
%, - tried to persuade Mr.. GalIinger that
by all the signs OF the times the jig was
up. Every time a vote was taken and '23
showed again. some grave and austers
Senator would pour into the ears Of Mr.
Gallinger a story about the legend Of
%, - but none Of them could convince him
that there was anything in Il.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-03
Before LongfeIIow Died.

From the Boston Herald
The breeziest Renaissance of L0ngfeI-
low is this extract from one of the poets
letters which his grandson has been read
ing in public:
AS I was standing at my front door
this morning a lady in black came up
ard asked: Is this the house where Long
fellow was borne
No. he was not born here
Did he die here?
Not yet.
Are you LongfelIow?'
i am
- thought you died two years ago. ."
The Washington herald., 1907-03-03
A LITTLE NONSENSE.


Let that old fellow go.
Says the boss,
He is sixty, you know,
And no loss.
Give him Uncle Sans gold?
Senile loutl
He Is sixty years old.
Turn him out!
He his only son gave
To night Spain2
He has tOiled like A slave?
That refrain
Is as musty as mold
Beyond doubt,
He is sixty years old.
Turn him out!
He can earn all his wage?
Maybe so.
IT'S a young peoples age;
He must go.
We must clean up the fOld"'
Is the shout.
He is sixty years old.
Turn him out.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-03
The Conclusion.

From Tit-Bits.
4 group Of wOTkmen were arguing dur
ing the dinner hour. A deadlock had been
reached when one Of the men on the
losing side turned TO mate who had
remained silent during the whole of the
debate.
Ere. Bin.' he said, you're pretty
good at a argymen. Wot's your opin-
ion?'
Il amt a-going 70 say" said Bill i
thrashed the matter out afore with Dick
Grey"
"Ah,' said the other, artfully, hoping
to entice him into the fray, and what
did you arrive att"
We'll. e-venchually." said Bill Dick
e arrived at the orspital. an I arrived
at the perlice station
The Washington herald., 1907-03-03
Hartman as Horrible Example.

From the Springfield Republican
IN the light of such a story as is being
drawn from Hartman, those railroad
men who are wondering over and deplOr-
ing and denouncing the manifested pub
lie hostility to railroads and trusts,
might as well hold their peace and devote
their energies to deeds which will help to
abate the storm of popular wrath that
has justly been aroused.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-03
PLAIN DEALS.

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer
The Contrast.
The scribes Of old were often cold,
In shabby gaFb they wandered;
I'd like to see Mark Twains white suit
Before ne has It Numbered.
PhiIadeIphia's Way.
Those Philadelphia voters are painfully
slow in getting to the polls"
We'll te make I'D for Il the municipal
ring keeps on voting EN- long after they re
dead"
Call for United Action.
Some men fall upward" says Ebert
Hubbard.
"Oh, climb with me" sings Richard lie
( Gallienne.
These children Of genius should bet to-
gether.
A New Explorer.
Charlie Higgins says he's going to try
10 reach the north pole by a new
method
What's his idea?"
''Well, he is going to have d large ball
made and after he gets inside they are
going to shoot him out Of a very powerful
/ cannon
RS a shame 10 go 10 the expense OF
making that ball and cannon. Il would be
a good deal cheaper 10 just shoot him."
The Best known.
Have you seen any of the worlds best
known actresses"
Sure, I've seen the best known
.Bernhardt?"
Nope
'Duse2'
Nav"
Who them
Evelyn Nesbit Thaw when she was in
/ the chorus"
Ii DidTEt Pay.
/ 'Politeness always pays"
/ 7 beg 20 differ with you"
Then you'H have to cite an instance"
Il can. Yesterday morning ] was driv-
ing my touring car down the avenue wher
/ I saw that naughty Miss Snippersley OF
/ the sidewalk
YES"
! I tipped my hat and smiled"
( Yes.
yes. and when I looked ahead again
found l had bowled over two workmer
/ and was trying to climb a telegraph pole
The Washington herald., 1907-03-03
Across the sfrr

Even Homer sometimes mods. re-
marked Swift
Not when he passes me-. complained
Pope.
All. yes; I see. You translated him."
The Washington herald., 1907-03-03

The gentleman left in charge Of the
Louisville Courier-Journal by Col, Wat
terson is strangely lacking in gallantry.
He declines 10 believe that Chicago
woman the most beautiful in the country
until he is informed of the size Of her feet.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-03

Longest time between stations. Six hours
longer between New York and Washing
ton than any other road.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-03
Rare Considerntinn.

"I consider Roosevelt the most remark
able servant the republic has ever had"
why SOP
We'll, for one thing. he gave US four
years notice"
The Washington herald., 1907-03-03

How much are these Easter IIies?"
a dollar each"
Pretty steep
Not when you consider that We throw
in the earth
The Washington herald., 1907-03-03

The Southern Ohio Gas Company will
pay prosecutor SOL for the loss Of bic
whiskers. What pity the Populist party
Is not alive TO enjoy the delights Of that
judicial decision.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-03

The way Mr.. Jerome lays bare the
soul" OF a witness. and otherwise sparkles
and shines. is wonderful and inspiring to
behold-when it IS a woman An lnsur-
ance CRATER is quite another matter.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-03
Naturally.

I am no lamb when I have met
With grief.
No; when upon the pork get
] beef.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-03
His Part.

Yes; Jinks has gone on the stage
'Him2 What can that numbskull play?'
He plays a hose In the garden scene. %
The Washington herald., 1907-03-03
Mr.. Hartman in the Gallery.

Mr. E. II. Hartman. accompanied by
his wife, daughter, and little son, wit
messed the proceedings of the Senate yes
terday from the front row of the Sena-
tors reserved gallery. He had a diagram
Of the Senate, and apparently enjoyed
pointing out TO the members of his family
the individual Senators. He seemed I'M
usually interested in a brief address by
Senator Beverage on a conference report.
Senators Dick, of Ohio, and Knox, of
Pennsylvania, called on Mr. Hartman
in the gallery and cbatted with him.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-03

Certain rude contemporaries may as
well quit nagging and insinuating We
do not propose 10 tell what the plural of
grapefruit is until we get ready; besides.
the problem belongs to the Norfolk Land
mark. and We do not want to be impoliJe
about il.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-03

The President may desire new designs
on the coins, but the milliners have the
same old designs they always employ
about this time Of the year.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-03

Il prefer blonds." writes Marse Henry
from sunny Spain. And, undoubtedly,
blends and brunettes both prefer Marse
Henry,
The Washington herald., 1907-03-03

Senator Tillman has been made the
subject Of melodious tribute from an
admirer in Tennessee, who is a musical
genius. Copies have been sent the South
CaroIinian of a song set TO march meas
ure, entitled THE March of the Pitch
forks. Dedicated to Senator Benjamin R.
Tillman. of South Carolina. by Frank L.
Br$stow, Nashville" Naturally the COM
position is replete with crescendo crashes
and staccatO jabs. Senator Tillman is
trying TO learn the tune, but not having
a very good ear for music, has not mas
tered the melody yet. II is suggested
that he may introduce it in his lecture
on the circuit this season.
The Washington herald., 1907-03-03

and the people are coming together" So
are people and the automobiles, cOntinu-
ally: but they are not Dragging about It
especially.