davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
[From the Chicago News.1

IFrom the Chicago News.1
Don't stoop to pick up the kind words
you drop.
It's easier to be sensitive than It is
to be sensible.
After putting up a blur a man Is ant
to stumble over it.
Many mans early training has kent
him from making good.
Give small boy a pin and soon both
will be on mischief bent.
Gray matter is all right In its pIace-
and so Is the long green.
You can't always Judge a mans worth
by the size of the pay envelope.
Love may make the world go round
but matrimony gives 1t a fiat wheel mo-
ton.
Even the man who carries chips or
both shoulders doesn't necessarily wall
upright.
It's an easy matter to give advice br.
1t is difficult to get people to have faitl
enough in you to use 1t.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12
JOURNAL ENTRIES

A girl with a new diamond ring has
lots of trouble keeping her back hair
up.
u %
Another paradox: The dispatches
say that some of the proceedings of
the National Purity congress were not
fit to print
n 4
One of the unpleasant features
about being Washburn student is
that you can't resent being called a
''son Of Ichabod"-unless you happen
to be a girl.
A "Civic Forum" has been estab-
lished in New York where every man
shall be free to say what he pleases-
where the right of free speech shall
really not be abridged. 1t is feared,
however. that it will do little good to
Hon. Henry Peck, of funny paper
fame
According to the Glen Elder Senti-
mel, ma and Pa Angel are running
the farm in the absence of their chill
dren." Who, we want to know, is do
ing the work in Heaven in the mean
time?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12
GLOBE SIGHTS.
IFrom the Atchison Globe.l

From the Atchison Globe.l
Really Superior people do not act
Superior.
No one is content, because no one is
content to die.
A man never longs to be a saint as
much as a woman does.
1t is easy for a woman to fool a man;
the difficulty is to keep him fooled.
ASK a man what wages he gets, and
he will tell you what he thinks he de-
serves.
You can never judge from the size of
the quarrel the value of the thing
Quarreled over.
Nearly. every man has grievance
against his wife because she doesn't
oftener say he is overworked.
Somehow, since the mushroom style
of hat appeared, we haven't seen as
much to admire in mushrooms as we
used to see.
Within five minutes after a man
reaches home, If his women folks are
fond of him, he has every one in the
house waiting on him.
This is one reason why we may be
accused of lacking the true artists
soul: We think 10 cents is too much
to pay for any picture of Madonna,
no matter who painted it.
All of this wedding finery and pro-
cession foolishness is a result of lack
of firmness on the part of the groom.
If he said to the girl, Now or never"
she would drop her broom and go with
him to the probate judge with her
dust cap on.
There comes a time to every man.
usually between 40 and so, when he
admits that certain of his misfortunes
can never be helped and that he must
patiently bear them. Young men be-
lieve they will finally be able to get rid
of everything that annoys them.
A man took a Joke to the editor
of the Coolidge Enterprise, and wanted
it printed. 1t was a Joke" of a very
dangerous kind, and the editor said to
him: II will print it only on one con-
dition: You to pay me a million dol
lars, and give me three months start
When a young man says his girl is
worth her weight in gold, he is, ac-
cording to our financial exchange, not
putting very heavy valuation upon
her unless she is a very heavy girl At
this rating, 120 pounds of girl would be
worth only about $4,000 and no great
kind of a catch.
Before a man is married he can have
pillow cushions tucked all around him
in any girls parlor, but after marriage
the act of resting his weary head on a
cushion calls forth from his wife
Don't put your head on that! Can't
you see that cushion is too pretty for
any mans greasy head to lie on"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

way from Governor Hughes, of New
York, to Paul Milyoukov, of Russia,
Bryan, Foraker, and other Americans
are on the schedule. BY the time two
or three have spoken, however, there
may be no audience left
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

1s Is said that Mexico spent a hun
dred thousand dollars in entertaining
Secretary Root. There are some ad-
vantages in holding a cabinet job,
even If the pay is only $4,000 a year.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12
FROM OTHER PENS
A DIVIDED HOUSE.

We rejoicingly congratulate the
Santa Fe road on the possession of the
Hon. J. J. Byrne. He has just travel
ed over his road, and instead of holding
a black-edged handkerchief over his
weeping eyes to mourn the untimely
death of Prosperity, he looked out OF
the clean car windows and saw her In
every town and field.
Listen to him sing: Il found every
where in the central west and north
west a condition of business activity
and Individual possession of money
that is unexampled in the past.
Hoorayi
There is one man to whom we shall
send a marked copy Of Mr.. Byrne's
remarks. The man needs Just that
sort of a tonic. He is the president of
the Santa Fe Railway company. Mr.
Byrne may have heard of him. If so.
he will understand how much Mr.. Rip
ley stands in need of just the consola-
ton in which the passenger traffic
manager of the Santa Fe is so well
able to battle him.-Los Angeles Ex-
press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

Now they are accusing George Wash
ington of being interested in petroleum
They will have hard time, however, in
proving that George was ever fined for
accepting rebates from the railroads
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

Still, the damage by fire to the gov
ernment's free seeds will not be re-
GREETED by the farmers as much as by
the congressman who distribute them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

about direct primary law. Which is
more argument against giving the
senate lodge in Kansas the same sort
of task in a special session.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

The prophecy that there will be no
timber supply in twenty years does not
comfort the bad boy. He argues that
he will be too big then anyway for a
peach switch or a ruler to be applied
fr his persOn,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

Postmaster General Meyer is in
favor of postal savings banks. If we
had them would they, too, be likely to
adopt clearing house rules?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

AS near as we can see from this
distance from Washington, it was a
dog-fa1l for both Governor Hoch and
Senator Long.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

The Ute Indians must either go to
work or starve. The Ute Indians and
Wall Street can doubtless sympathize
with one another.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

The indications seem to be strong
that Harry Thaw will not eat his
Christmas dinner in 1907 with his
wife, either.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

The elderly Illinois gentleman who
has started a law suit to prove that
football is a prize fight will proba bly,
have his case punted out of court
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

1t is said that Germany is also
facing a crisis caused by too rapid ex-
pansion in business. 1t appears there
fore that Germany's system of finance
is not a guaranty against financial ills,
after all.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

Japan, it is said, eats two million
pounds Of whale meat every year. Is
this to be taken as an indication that
she blubbers a good deal, or that she
can whale us? -
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

Among other things you should be
thankful for is that you are not the
piece de resistance in an incubator
baby case.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

We trust that when Mr. Gore, of Ok
lahoma, gets to the United States SEN
ate he will not spread his name around
Noo much
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

A smart set wedding in Chicago and
Pittsburg society has been declared off
Is this another result of the financial
stringency?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

A New York health official says dis
ease is not transmitted by money. after
all. So don't refuse to take it when
It is offered to you. P. S.-This is, of
course. superfiuous, like all other ad-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

The price of milk is not showing any
inclination to go down, in spite of the
oft-repeated declaration that the cost of
living is to be less.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

Another result of the stringency may
be that fewer men will command SAL
aries two or three times as large as
that Of president of the United States.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

A "Civic Forum will open in New
York on November 20, where every or
ator will have the privilege of free
speech and can say just what he
nieases. The programme goes all the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

It may safely be presumed that
Cleveland is just as much in favor of
4hree-cent street car fares as ever.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

The gold that is coming over from
Europe doesn't need any "Welcome!"
banners strung across Wall Street to
know that New York is glad to see it
once more.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12
WARM IrNDERPINNING

Governor Hughes is cold, says
newspaper reporter who has been in
terviewing the gentleman. The cold,
however, does not seem to extend to
his feet.-Chicago Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

The mercury went down within ten
degrees of zero at Colorado Springs
Sunday. And Colorado usually boasts
Of its balmy weather at this time of
year. too.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

eff there was money enough ten days
ago." asks Judge Grosscup, why is
there not enough now?" That is what
a lot Of other people would like to
know
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

Now that the gold is coming over
from Europe, we sincerely hope 1t will
relieve Wall Streets collie.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12
al cHANcE 10 GET. owen.

One of those health specialists says.
STAND on your head Is minutes each
morning and you will be beautiful"
If Brother Fairbanks will induce
Brother Taft to do that the cocktail
incident will be closed.-New York
Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

BY bringing the action he has against
the Pittsburg officials, Attorney Gen
eral jackson serves this notice on other
Kansas towns: Keep your lid on
straight
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12
MnRE P6PIu.IsM.

Our old time Pop friends must have
rejoiced last week when the f1nanciers
of the country had to adopt the fiat
money scheme to prevent a crash
Holton Signal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The Etate Journal is a member u the
Associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report OF that great news or
ganizatlon for the exclusive afternoon
publication III Topeka.
The news Is received in The Stete Jour.
nal building over wires for this sole pur-
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

would be very nice-on both sides Of
the fence-with you," she said softly.
1907. by e. c. Par
cells.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12
TIRED OF WAITING

We suppose that tariff revision is
among the things that come to those
who wait But some people are care
less enough to die before they get
through waiting.-Holton Signak
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12
KANSAS COMMENT
SOME MORE RUBBISH.

SOME MORE RUBBISH.
There is an awful lot of tommyrot
and poppycock going around these days
under the respectable cloak OF genteei
philosophy, but the following is about
the EXTREMIST example we have seen
lately. Accordingly. we wish to enter
1t In the contest for the Most E'ooiiSh
Piece, hoping that the judges VIII give
its points due consideration. 1t Is from
the Magazine of Wisdom:
You are all more or less aware OF
the benefits resulting from an entry
into the silence Every philosophy
teaches and experience has shown that
the first effort toward peace and mar
mony should be silence. If we are about
to undertake an arduous task, or are
called upon to make an important de-
cision. moments silence will often be
the means of correct guidance.
AS thoughts have an undennanie
ly guard them. LAS man thinketh, 50
is he.''
We ask each and every one of our
readers to join with US for fiVe minutes
daily.
At high noon, New York or eastern
time. If you are busy the concentrat ton
may be accomplished while waiting Tor
your lunch And for every good tnoughl
turn.
Sit quietly, shoulders held back. but
not braced place the open hands, palms
down, on the knees. Take a deep
hale, relax every muscle in your BODY.
Then earnestly send out the following
mental concentration:
by the force of my Ego. which l
will to act in harmony with the Divine
Ego, I demand success, health and hap
piness. to all within this circuit OF
thought. World.
THE SAME OLD LIE.
Some Washington city boozer has
ant a
that there is more liquor drank ana
more drunkenness in states that have
prohibition laws than where Incense
laws prevail. OF course everybody IN
same old lie that has been reiterated
thousands of times since prohibition
has prevailed in Kansas. II 1t We're
true, the liquor interests would all pc
for prohibition, and would not be spend
ing hundreds of thousands of dollars
every year to defeat prohibition laws
being enacted and to render them
abortive where they exist. The almighty
dollar is what the liquor interests are
after and they do not spend money lor
any object that will decrease their sales
and deplete their treasures, but they
do spend 1t like water to promote tnelr
business. Possibly it will never pe
known lust how much it cost to get
this so called census report started ana
circulated but we doubt not a soodiy
sum and it doubtless came out of the
treasury olton Recorder.
HELP SOME.
Judge Pollock said in rendering a
decision last week that people are not |
made good or bad by law. However the
enactment Of good laws and their en- |
forcement will help some to make peo-
pie good, just as the failure to enforce |
laws will make people bad.-Miami Re |
publican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12
GOSSIP.

she cuts a pretty figure, I must say.
she dresses in a fascinating way.
And her wardrobe is extensive
1 am rather apprehensfve
That it also is expensive
As it's gay.
She cuts a pretty figure, just the same
In doing it she isn't much to blame.
II she didn't 'twould be funny
When her husband, sweet and sunny,
For the same.
She cuts pretty figure in that dress.
1t cost a PRETTY figure, too, 1 guess.
And her jewels, how they glitteri
Though her rivals try to litter
And declare it would be filter
To wear less.
She cuts a pretty figure. Lovely taste!
she didn't make that toilette up in haste
Yes, she cuts it, and smiles brightly,
though 1 think it's most unsightly
When a woman laces tightly
AT the waist.
-Chica00 Daily NeDc
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

Guess Indian summer is down and
out now.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12
AND ELSEwHEREA

who does not love dogs?" asks
the New York Herald enthusiastically.
Well, we have our suspicious of the
book agents and insurance solicitors
who have had their trousers torn In
the line of duty.-Washington Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

The Illinois legislature is having a
terribly hard time making up its mind
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12
PER1Ls OF MONEY BOARDING.

The persons who are drawing money
out of the banks and putting it in pri-
vate boards are being attacked in two
ways these days. First, they are losing
all interest upon it, and in some cases
are being shut out of the safe deposit
companies. Secondly, in concealing it
in their own homes or in other hiding
places they run a risk of losing it from
the Eruption of sneak thives and
burglars who are beginning to get
busy. Some of the New York safe
deposit people are refusing to furnish
receptacles to the scared persons who
are coming to them with the money
which has been drawn from the banks
and are thus compelling them to keep
it in some improvised receptacles
around their own homes.-St. Louis
Globe-Democrat.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12
THAT'S WHY.

why" asks the New York Evening
Mail, docs the man who wants to get
off at the second floor always stand in
the back of the ELEVATOR" Because
the men who want to get off at the
sixteenth floor always crowd together
Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12
A New Definition.

A rather cynical joke has been re-
Gently credited to Senator Platt.
The Senator. on his last visit to the
Manhattan Beach hotel allowed
pretty little girl, Western million
aires daughter, to be presented to
him.
The little girl. in the course of one
of her many delightful chats with the
aged statesman. said:
Tell me. won't you, Senator, what
political economy ISL"
Political economy, my dear child"
Senator Plat replied. rs the art OF
never buying more votes than YOU ac-
tually need"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12
WHERE re TT LODGED

They are trying to discover who
started the Lodge presidential boom.
also what he has done with it-New
York Commercial.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12
HELP SOME.

Judge Pollock said in rendering
decision last week that people are not
made good or bad by law However the
enactment Of good laws and their en-
forcement will help some to make peg
pie good, just as the failure to enforce
laws will make people bad.-Miami Re-
publican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

Burglar Trust Manager-You will be re-
Quired to turn night Into day: to throw
aside all sentiment; to enter the houses of
the best families regardless of their feel
tngs; to act the hypocrite, and, If neces-
sary, to go to Jail
Applicant-Um. You don't want an ordi-
nary burglar. What you want is a news
paper reporter.-Life
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

I'm going to Maudie's tin wedding to-
night"
Been married ten years, has she7"
mo; she's to be married to her tenth
husband. Judge.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

Tommy-Paw. was Adam ever a baby
Mr.. Tucker-It seems not.
Tommy-Well, how old was he when I
was born?-Chicago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

But" she protested, you must love
me- or you would never have come back
after being chased out of the house as
you were by papa last night"
NO, he replied, lit isn't because 1 love
you, assure you. It's against my princi-
cago Record-Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

NO" complained the young painter, 81
can't believe that I am producing genuine
The critics have praised your work,
haven't they?"
Yes. but nobody has raised an outcry
against it as being indecent "-Chicago
Record-Herald
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

Evenings she spoons Morning she
knifes the other boarders and at intervals
she forks staple and fancy groceries into
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

Hoax-All the members of my farpil,
have expressed a wish to be cremated-
Joax-Ahi You have relatives to burr
eh?-Philadelphia Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

Hi sayl 'ow long ave Hi got to walt
for those chops HI sent to be warmed
hover?"
why. All ct 'em up. boss. 70 tols
me to-
You blawsted hidiot! cawn't you hun
derstand Henglish? Hi said distinctly to
eat 'em up."-Judge.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12
Brute and Human DRUG Testers

-
A lot of sorry-looking chickens.
dogs and cats loafed in the black.
ll-smelling yard of the great chemi-
cal plant.
we use these animals to test our
drugs on" said the chemist '"They
come in very handy. They more than
earn their board.
Ergotine Is a drug we test on
chickens. 1t is simple test. If a
dose OF ergotine fails to turn a chick
ems comb black, we know that the
drug is, for some reason or other,
worthless.
"Hasheesh we test on dogs. Has
heesh is made Of female hemp buds;
male hemp buds have no medical val
ne; yet some dishonest dealers put
male buds On the market, and since
they resemble the female buds pre-
cisely, it is impossible to detect them
save by an actual test. Dogs, given
hasheesh, get drunk and happy if
the stuff is good.
"Digitalis, the heart stimuIant. is
tested on frogs. We inject a drop of
It into frogs stomach, and in the
kymograph, or notwithstanding ma
chine, we study the changes that take
place In the frogs heart action. Thus
we get a very accurate knowledge of
what our digitalis can do.
DO we ever test drugs on our
selves? Oh, yes. indeed: often. Chem,
lists have lost their lives, chemists
have gone incurably insane, through
too rash a bravery in testing drugs on
their own persons."-Los Angeles
Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

Howell-Talxing or your moustacha
makes you five years younger.
POWELL don't see how that can be.
The moustache was only three years old.
I-Town Topics.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

Mrs Subhurst-why. Mary. what are
you putting the flypaper outside che house
for?
Mary (the latest)-Sure, an amt there
more flies outside than inside?-Puck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

Little Mosquito-Gracious, Buzzeri Your
bill is frozen stif. Been mapping in a re-
friZerator?
Big Mosquito-No; er-I tackled Fair
News
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

bile7'
mo, wish had"
But 1 saw beautiful car standing in
front of your house yesterday"
"Oh. that was the plumber."-St. Louis
Post-Dispatch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

Professor Ito graduating class in colleRe)
Young man, there is one more question
would like to ask, and that is. what books
nave helped you most in your struggles
for an education?
Young Scadds promptly speaking up
from the foot of the class)-Dad's check
book has helped me about as much as any
OF 'em, 80 far.-Judge aHr l--7f- =
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

Mary couldn't take that outing trip
without her husband"
why not7'
"All her waists button down the back"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

She-I have thrown your fountain pen
away.
He-What did you do that for?
She-So you wouldn't have an excuse for
not writing to me while I'm away.-Yonk-
ers Statesman.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-11-12

Reeder-The telegraph operators saw
their salaries are not Commensurate with
their needs. ~
Tavker-well. why didn't they live on
tick?-Kansas City Times