The Washington herald., 1907-07-10

Many people IN Franklin predicted that
within three months Of the death OF his
good wife DeScon Grlmshaw would
marry the widow Spooner They gave
him year for grieving, but not another
day. All they had to go on was that
the two were neighbors and had been for
five years, and that the deacon always
stood ready to hoe the widows garden.
doctor her sick COW, and nail the pickets
back on the fence when the boys had
knocked them of. It was known that
his wife and the widow were good
friends. and as the deacon was only mid
dle-aged and well on II was hardly 10
be expected that he would remain single
the rest Of his days.
As a matter Of fact, the deacon did
seem to be looking the widows way
after few months had gone by. They
were seen sitting on her doorstep in the
cleaning. he hunted the fields for cat
nip for the cat; he set rat-traps IN her
barn. he gathered her fall apples. and
puttied in new panes of glass in the bro
ken windows. The widow was known 70
have carried 10 his lonely kitchen Gus
tards and pumpkin pies and jellies, and
TO have said that she pitied him from
the bottom Of her heart, and so there
seemed every reason why the TWO should
make 4 match of it, There was one
reason to the contrary. however. and
only the two knew this. The deacon was
a straight-kaired Methodist and the
widow was a dyed-in-the-wool Baptist.
His wife had been buried from the
Methodist church and the widows hus-
band from the Baptist. and for these
81 raf H.,
his way.
Thousands of Methodists have mar
ried thousands Of Baptists without land
ing in the divorce court, but this hap
pened to be an exceptional couple. They
couldn't be together a quarter Of an
hour without discussing the question of
religion, and both were plain takers
The deaCOn's year was pretty near up
when he made up his mind that he was
in love with the widow and had better
secure her before she hOated of. Her
pies were good and her buildings excel
lent, and every Monday he saw by the
clothes line what fine washer she was
He had also taken notice that she was
no gadabOut, but was always az home
and busy with the domestic duties She
couldn't drive a NAIL and she couldn't
get the hang Of the ak TO split wood
but as an Offset to that he had heard
folks say that her picked peaches were
simply delicious.
One evening the deacon went over to
sit on the steps and propose. He felt
perfectly sure in his mind that be would
be accepted. He felt so sure OF this
that he brought up the religious ques-
ton before proceeding TO business. There
were two or three things that proved
the deacon was nOT a good Methodist
He did not believe that the whale
swallowed Jonah. and he didn't believe
that Daniel was cast into the lions den.
He had been disciplined" several times
for his want of faith, but he still re-
widow believed in everything between
the covers Of the Bible. and there were
times when she called the wldower a
heather and a barbarian. They had
scarcely got seated on this evening when
the deacon removed his hat and wiped his
brow and began;
NO, 1t don't stand to reason that the
whale swallowed Jonah and that Jonah
was spewed up again. How did he
breathe down there? How did he exist
for five minutes? And when the whale
spewed him up again, why didn't he
drown? 1t must have been far from
shore, and how came it that there was
boat handy? You see, wilder"
Deacon Grimshaw, I refuse to seeP
she interrupted.
Il tell you that no man could live in
side a whale"
And I cell you that Jonah did. and
that ends It. 1 wouldn't want 10 be IN
your shoes when you come TO die You'll
grunt and groan and kick around in the
awfullest manner
Wilder. I'm surprised that you haven't