Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1907-06-25
MARK TWAIN ESCAPED JAIL.
Twice Arrested and Freed as Being
"the Greatest Man in the Country"

"the Greatest Man in the Country
YES" said Mark Twain, with an
air Of conscious importance. Il have
been arrested. I was arrested twice,
so that there could be no doubt about
it. I have lived many years In the
sight of my country an apparently
uncaught and blameless life, model
for the young, an inspiring example
for the hoary-headed. But at last the
law has laid its hand upon me-" says
an Annapolis dispatch to Philadelphia
Ledger.
mine was no ordinary offense.
When I affront the law, I choose to
do so in no obscure, insignificant, triv-
| ial manner Mine was crime
against nothing less than the Federal
government. The officers who arrest
ed me were no common or garden
policemen; they were clothed with
the authority of the Federal constitu-
ton. I was charged with smoking a
cigar within a government reserva-
ton. In fact, was caught red-hand-
ed. I came near setting a stone pile
on fire.
1T is true that the arrest was not
made effective. One of the party whis-
pered to the marines what Governor
Warfield was going to say, and did
say, in introducing me to the audience
at my lecture-that I was one Of the
greatest men of the world. I don't
know who proposed to tell that to the
marines, but it worked like a charm.
The minions Of the law faltered, hes
itated, quailed. and today I am free
man. Twice they laid hands upon
me; twice were overcome by my de-
served reputation.
Perhaps ought not to say myself
that it is deserved. But who am I
to contradict the governor of Mary
land? Worm that am by what right
should traverse the declared opinion
Of that man Of wisdom and judgment,
trust? I never admired him more
than 1 did when he told my audience
that they had with them the greatest
man in the world. believe that was
his expression. I don't wish to under
take his sentiments, but 1 will go no
| further than that-at present. Why,
it fairly warmed my heart. 1t almost
made me glad to be there myself. !
like good company.
Why Bishop Potter Is Great.
Speaking of greatness, 1t Is GU
rious how many grounds there are
for great regulations; how many diff
ferent phases, that Is to say, greatness
may take on. There was Bishop Pot
ter. He was arrested a few months
ago for a crime similar to mine;
though he lacked the imagination to
select United States government prop
erty as the scene of the guilty deed.
Now Bishop Potter is a great man. 1
am aware he is, because a street car
motorman told me so. A motorman
is not a governor Of Maryland, but
then Bishop Potter Is not humorist.
He could hardly expect a certificate
like mine.
| 1T rode with the motorman one day
on the front seat Of his car. There
was a blockade before we got very
far and the motorman, having moth
ing to do, became talkative. oh yes,
he said, I have a good many distin-
guished men on this trip. Bishop
Potter often rides with me. He likes
the front seat Now there's a great
man for you-Bishop Potter
"'It is true I responded. Doctor
Potter is indeed a mighty man of God,
an erudite theologian, a wise admin
istrator of his great diocese, an exc
gete Of
Yes broke in the motorman, his
face beaming with pleasure as he rec
ognized the justice of my tribute and
hastened to add one of his own. Yes,
and he's the only man who rides with
me who can spit in the slot every
time
"'That's a good story, isn't It? 1
like a good story we'll told. That is
the reason 7 am sometimes forced to
tell them myself. Here is one, of
which 1 was reminded yesterday as
was investigating the naval acade-
my. I was much impressed with the
naval academy I was all over it, and
now it is all over me, I am full of
the navy. I talk, think, eat, drink
and dream navy. 1 wanted to march
L h,tt
think to ask me; curious inattention
on their part, and I just ashore after
a celebrated cruise.
"While I was observing the navy
on land" said Mr.. Clemens, II
thought of the navy at sea and of this
story, so pathetic, so sweet, so really
touching. This is one of my pet sto-
ries; something in its delicacy. refine
ment and the elusiveness Of its humor
fits my own quiet tastes.
1.-The time is 2 a. m, after lively
night at the club. The scene In front
Of his house. The house is swayine
and lurching to and fro. He has sue
ceeded in navigating from the club
Dut now is ne going 10 get dpodru lhis
rolling. tossing things? He watches the
steps go back and forth, up and down
Then he makes a desperate resolve
braces himself, and as the steps come
round, he jumps, clutches the hand
rail, gets aboard and pulls himself
safely up on the piazza. With like
manoeuvre he gets through the door
Watching his chance, he gains the
lowest step of the inside staircase and
painfully makes his way up the sway
ing and uncertain structure. He has
almost reached the top when In q
sudden lurch he catches his toe and
falls back, rolling to the bottom. Al
this moment his wife, rushing out in
to the upper hall, hears coming uI
from the darkness below, from the
discounted figure sprawled on the
floor with his arms around the newel
post, the fervent, appropriate and
| piouS ejaculation, God help the poor