Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-01-12

Champ Clark was twitting one of his
Kentucky friends the other day and tod
this story:
You. OF course, know, my friends, that
the great state of Kentucky produces some
good mules as well as mighty fine liquor.
l heard a story once about big mule
raiser who sold a lot of stock to a trader
who was to pay him. in four months. At
the expiration of two months the trader
sent him half OF the amount and wrote
him that he would liquidate the balance at
maturity.
"Our Kentucky mule raiser was tickled
to death at the idea of receiving one-half
the amount before it was due, but he was
worried about maturity He overhauled
the school geography and maps, but he
could not find maturity Finally he ap-
pealed to one of his neghbors-one who
kept a country crossroads store-and
asked:
bill. where is Maturity? I can't find
II on the map and I've looked clear through
the geography fer it "
X X X x
This story is not a yarn nor a joke, but
II shows the keen eye to business some
men possess who have been up against the
world. 1t is told by representative from
Michigan, who guarantees 1t all wool:
certain young man from Detroit had
zone "al kinds of ways and when he
vas finally made to see the end which
Voulu surely come ne reformed ana
iidn't wait for New Year day to swear off.
Some weeks ago he was in Washington
visiting the representative. The two walk
ed down the avenue. The day was one of
the balmy spring days common in this
latitude in the dead of winter.
I'VE Will walk down here and put our
coats in the package ROOM" said the rep
resentatiye.
How much will il coSt?" asked the
visitor
''Oh. about fifty cents" came the answer
''Geewhilkensl l can beat that. Let
me have your coat and IL show you an
old scheme of mine"
The representative handed his coat to the
young man, who darted into joint where
three balls were displayed, and when he
came out he exhibited a little ticket show
ing that he had pawned both his own and
the representatives. coat for the sum of 81
He explained to his friend that 1t would
only cost cents to redeem them when
they wished to return home The young
man said he could no good reason for
giving up so cents when 3 would do the
same work
X X 4 x
Not everything that sounds profane is
profane," says Representative Lewis of
Georgia. During the Christmas holidays
a good lady OF my home city met poorly
clad little girl the street, and, taking
her into confectionery store, gave her
quantity of sweets. When the childs appe-
a store and fitted her out with shoes
dresses, stockings and many other articles
that the poor little thing stood in sore
need of.
''As the lady babe the little girl good
by the child looked up into her face and,
with simplicity, said. You must be Gods
wife. 1t not profane-it simple
and sublime, for the little one had heard
that God was the giver of many gifts
X x
A West Virginia representative says that
at Romney. that state, there is an under
taker who is also general merchant. pho
tographer and carries lot of side lines"
Recently this man of all trades was seen
to be very busy making a coffin
Who is that for?" asked townsman.
It's for old Hiram Profit" was the reply.
Why. Tom. he's not dead yet"
NO, but the doctor told me to make the
coffin, an 1 guess he knows what he give
him"
i y * y
well. Use laid off wuk TO de wintah,"
said old Uncle Ike, the District rock crack
er as he called at the District building last
week to get his months pay from the jovial
disbursng officer, Charley Rogers. DE
Lawd knows how Use gwine ter git froo de
rist of de wintah widout drOrin my wages"
he continued.
DE gemman wot takes care of de roads
tot me dat dey wuz nuthin mo- doin' till
spring, dey couldn't spread the stone
crackns on de roads in dis weatah. Den
how S de people who livs outen de country
gwine ter git Inter town froo de mud?' 1
SEE. Guess deyll havter !wim,' de gemman
seq. and den LATED.
We'll. faint no use kickin', I reckon, but
i wud like ter have one oh dem Jobs what
he carefully brushed the remnants of fur on