The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-12-13
The e nd of d
PRACTICALLY Joke
sy EDWARD EVERETT noRron
(Cop.yright.)

Observation-Disclosures
(Copyright.)
IF you willekeep quiet and act like
rational being, my dear" say,
somewhat impatiently, to my young
sister, Il will read the letter again.
Listen:
Havana. Jan. 2o.-My Dear Daugh-
ters: It is with great qualification that I
am able at last to accurately determine
the date Of my departure from this city
for my beloved Maryland home, which,
am happy to say, I hope never to leave
again. My business affairs in South
America have terminated far more sue
cessfully than had expected, and II, on
my return, find my charming daughters
and oil my friends enjoying half as good
health as do, then shall he happy in
deed.
"I purpose leaving here on the oath
on the Habana, which sails for New
York, and IL everything goes we'll will
be with you on the 29th. Your loving ia
cher. HENRY FAIRFAX.
p. SIN my wanderings in South
America came across very fine
Here 1 stop reading. There is a
blotted word on the paper which l
cannot make out. Lillian, my sister,
is quieting down somewhat, looks
over my shoulder to assist in solving
the knotty problem.
"'-whom I call the Cherub, and as he
is splendid specimen, I intend bringing
him with me. Send Jackson to the sta
ton late in the afternoon.
FATHER
"Joy! joy!" cries the irrepressible
Lillian, clapping her hands and hug
ging me. after all these years he
is coming home. Oh, how thankful
ami"
Gently disengaged my sisters
arms from around my neck and wipe
away tears of Joy.
God has been very good to u.s." I
say, impressively, lever since mother
died. Let us thank him for it."
Taking the letter from my hand,
Lillian essays to read the blotted
word, finally uttering little cry of
vexation. What can it be-" she
says again and again, and her per-
Eistence causes me to look up.
"Oh," I say, carelessly, probably
some native of the jungle-a mulatto
boy, perhaps; or maybe it's dog"
Silence again for a full minute.
, Then:
"Rose," says Lillian, solemnly,
weighing each word, fare you blind?
Do you not recall what a practical
joker father is?"
I readily yielded this point No jol-
lier man ever lived than Henry Fair
fax, is the comment of those who
know him; and have had reason to
remember many of his tricks.
Its as plain as day. The Cherub,
as father calls him, is an ugly, mis-
chievous, peace-destroying, tantilizing
monkey" says Lillian, dwelling on the
syllables of the adjectives to give
them proper weight, land that blot
on the paper is made purposely to
set his charming daughters to guess
ing. So there!"
sink, back in my chair, perfectly
aghast and unnerved.
What! monkey in this house.
known of all homes for its order and
nicely; monkey here to pull Rover's
tail and to brighten Aunt Chloe out
of her wits; to tear the feathers out
of the parrots tail and to kill my pet
canaries. to say nothing of running
yes, running my roots and bulbs
in the dollhouse; a monkey in this
house to-to-to-"
My tongue fails me. The awful
truth of my sisters words comes with
crushing force. Long and earnestly
We discuss the alarming situation,
many are the suggestions offered and
plans made for preventing the enc
my's entrance into our sacred home.
We finally evolved an elaborate plan
to take the "horrid" cherub from
father Immediately on his arrival and
set him free.
It is the night before fathers ar.
rival and all is in readiness for his
coming. To bed and to sleep we fin
ally go-Lilian to dream of the Incl
dents of the morrow and 1 to dream
of him who is coming DER the sea,
my mind gradually wandering OF
to. one who went down at sea some
ten years ago, due primarily to my
cruel and heartless refusal of his
earnest suit for my hand.
1t is along toward four o'clock of
the next day when the crunching
noise made by the feet of a heavy
man is heard approaching nearer and
nearer.
The man stops at the steps of the
veranda ana stamps the snow from
his feet, then walks hastily up. He
crosses the veranda quickly, stops,
stamps again, grasps the knocker and
gives one loud blow. In fash the
door is thrown open and we fall
literally fall, for fear we make sad
mess Of it-upon the neck Of very
much wrapped-up athletic gentleman,
whose vice-like grip around our waists
nearly takes the breath away. Then
but why tell 1t? o merciful heaven,
the man is no more like my father
than / to Hercules!