Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-09-25
The Go-between.


sure enough give me an invite to put
my head en- the log where I kill the
chickens. I've not only made blum
der, but a double blunder, in tryin' to
help two people at once. There was
! Charlie Burnes mopin' around, pinin'
because he had no one to help him run
his farm, no companion or nothin', and
there was Susan Nutter with step
mother and unhappy at home.
| thought they'd do well to marry, so /
| butted in and arranged the matter be-
| tween 'em. l had no interest IN it; l
only consented to be a go-between out
O. the kindness . my heart. I'm an
old maid myself and wouldn't marry
the best man on earth. l hain't got
no call to marry. / got my own house
| and ground all paid for and $50 a
| month from bond and mortgage be-
sides So I'm out O. the matrimonial
question But I'm not the only one
In the world to be considered. Mebbe
whatd kill me might cure others.
-
about Susan and Susan about Charlie.
1 praised Charlie to Susan, and this,
together with the hard time she was
havin' at home, made her powerful
anxious to git him. But somehow or
mother she got the idea that if he
seen her he wouldn't have her, so she
told me ] could tell him if he'd take
her entirely on my recommend it I'D
be a go. Charlie he thought if she
seen what an ungainly Teller he was
she wouldn't have him neither, so he
consented. 1 didn't see no harm in
this, for Susan was pretty as a peach,
and Charlie was as fine a-lookin' fell
Ter as ever follered a pillow.
The mornin' o. the weddin' / helped
Susan to git on a white muslin dress,
and when the other fXin'S was all on
she looked lovely. The clock struck
the hour for the weddin', the house
was chuck full o. the neighbors-I fur
nished the cake and things-and up
drives Charlie in his two horse wag
on, with a suit O. new store clothes
on, lookin' fine and manly. l met him
at the door and TUX him in to the set
tin room, where Susan was a-standin'
Waitin'. Susan bluShed a little, and |
seen a mighty pleased look come over
Charles face. But there wasn't no
time to git acquainted, for the parson
stepped in, and before they knowed
it they was married Then, after the
~, 10
TUX his wife out to the wagon and
driv off, followed by the usual shower
o. rice and old slippers.
Reckon you'll say there want nothin'
foolish about this, and 1 don't know
as there would "a been if it could "a
been done without gO-between. Y'See
there's a natural course SIGH things
have to run, jist like measles. A
wrong treatment o. measles is apt to
drive 'em in In Charles and Susan's
case the courtin' and the gittin' used
to worlzin' in matrimonial harness was
throWed on to 'em all to onct. If the
courtin' had been done in it's proper
time, the new harness wouldn't "a been
so hard to get used to. AS it was they
| both of 'em kicked the traces.
1t wasn't three days after the we'd
| din when Susan she come to me all
afire, and she says, says she, Miss
Shaw, whatd you go tie me up to SIGH
a man as that for?' whats the trou-
| ble?" says I. HE never speaks to ne
at breakfast no more'n if I'd come in
for hired help.p II don't know nothin'
bout men, says I, shut / hearn tell
| that they have all sorts O. ways about
| 'em that don't mean nothin'. IL he don't
want to talk at breakfast, wait till
! dinner. Mebbe he'll have somepin to
say by that time that's wO'th hearin'.'
/ Well, she went away only half paci-
| fed, and pretty soon in comes Charlie,
and he wants to know what ! had agin
him to marry him to a woman who
talked all the time at breakfast just
| the time o. day he felt clipper and
liked talkin' himself-and wouldn't give
him a chance to get in a word. | tole
him 1 was a woman myself and
knowed that there was times a woman
had to talk and times she had to cry,
and if he wanted to git one different
from this he'd have to git her made
to order.
For months they was a-runnin' to me
complainin' because l got 'em into a
fix, and 1 got mighty tired of it.
made up my mind sumpin had to be
done to stop it.
One evenin' I got out my mar and
driy over to Charles farm. Charlie
was a-sittin' on the porch smolIin' his
cob pipe, and Susan was inside dom
the supper dishes. I set still in the
buggy, with the whip in my hand for
knowed what 1 was a-goin' to do, and
thought it I'D be prudent to be ready
to move on Student.
Charlie" I says, says ], Il come
over to ak. your parding for tyin' y
up with a gal that's got one @ the
worst tempers@ I ever hearn Of
I hadn't hardly got the words out
o. my mouth before Susan she comes
] . dish