The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1907-01-20
PIGS IS PIGS"


SECRETARIES n
mani" he exclaimed. when they ge
that letter he will hunt another job
all right"
A week later Mr.. Morehouse received
a long official envelope with the card o
the Interurban Express Company IL
the upper left corner. He tore it oper
eagerly and drew out a sheet of paper
AT the top it bore the number A6754
The letter was short. "Subject-Rate
on guinea pigs it said DIR. Strive
are in receipt of your letter regarding
rate on guinea pigs between Franklin
and Westcote. addressed to the presi-
dent of this company All claims fol
overcharge should be addressed to the
| Claims Department
Mr.. Morehouse wrote to the Claims
Department. He wrote six pages OF
choice sarcasm, vitupera ton and argu-
ment, and sent them to the Claims De-
partment.
a few weeks later he received a re-
ply from the Claims Department At
tached to it was his last letter.
DIR. Sir" said the reply. Your let
ter of the 18th inst, addressed to this
department, subject rate on guinea
pigs from Franklin to Westcote reed.
We have taken up the matter with our
agent at Westcote, and his reply is at
tached herewith. He informs US that
you refused to receive the consignment
or to pay the charges. You have
! therefore no claim against this com
pany, and your letter regarding the
proper rate on the consignment should
be addressed to our Tariff Depart
ment."
Mr.. MoRehouse wrote to the Tariff
Department. He stated his case clear
", and gave his arguments in full,
quoting a page or two from the en-
cyclopedia, to prove that guinea pigs
were not common pigs.
With the care that characterizes cor
porations when they are systematical-
~ conducted. Mr.. Warehouses; letter
was numbered. o. KID and started
through the regular channels. Dupli-
cate copies of the bill of lading, mani
fest, Flannery's receipt for the pack
age and several other pertinent papers
were pinned to the letter. and they
were passed to the head of the Tariff
Department
The head of the Tariff Department
put his feet on his desk and yawned.
He looked through the papers care
lessly
Miss Kane he said to his stem
ographer, take this letter. Agent,
Westcote, n. J. Please advise why
consignment referred to in attached
papers was refused domestic pet
rates.
Miss Kane made series of curves
and angles on her note book and waited
with pencil poised. The head of the
dor rtyYan na Oh he ~,
Huh, Guinea pigs.' he said Prob
ably starved to death by this time.
Add this to that letter. Give condi-
ton of consignment at present ;"
He tossed the papers on to the stem
ographer's desk, took his feet from his
own desk and went out to lunch.
When Mike Flannery received the
letter he scratched his head.
Give prisint condition. he repeated
Now, what do thin
clerks be wantin' to know. I wonderI
'Prisint condition. is ut? Thin pigs,
praise st. Patrick, do be in good health,
so far as I know, but I niver was no
surgeon to dago pigs. Meb-
by thin clerks wants me to call in the
pig doctor an have their pulses took.
Wan thing 1 do know, howiver, which
is they've glorious appytites for pigs
Of their soize. Ate? They'd ate the
brass paddocks off of a barn door,. II
the paddy pig. by the same token, ate
as hearty as these dago pigs do, there'd
be a famine in Ireland"
To assure himself that his report
would be up to date, Flannery went to
the rear of the Office and looked into
the cage. The pigs had been trans
ferred to a larger box-a dry goods
box.
Wan-two-t'ree-fou
sivin-eight!' he counted. ''Sivin spot
led an wan all black. All well an
hearty an all eatin' loike ragin' hippy-
He went back to his
lesk and wrote.
MIR Morgan, Head of Tariff Depart
nent," he wrote. why do I say dago
pigs is pigs because they is pigs and
will be til you say they amt which is
what the rule book says stop your jol-
wing me you know it as well as I do.
As to health they are all well and
loping you are the same. P. S. There
ire eight now the family increased all
good eaters. P. S. paid out SO far two
dollars for cabbage which they like
shall 1 put in bill for same what?"
Morgan, head of the Tariff Depart
nent, when he received this letter,
aughed. He read it again and became
serious
BY George - he said, "Flannery is
light. Pigs is pigs I'll have to get
on this thing. Meanwhile,
Hiss Kane, take this letter: Agent,
Nestcote, y. J. Regarding shipment
guinea pigs. File No. A6,754. Rule SO.
General Instruction to Agents, clearly
states that agents shall collect from
onsignee all costs Of provender, ETC., 1
equired for live stock while in transit
IT storage. You will proceed to collect
anne from consignee. j
Flannery received this letter next
morning, and when he read 1t he
'rinned Il
Proceed to collect" he said, softly.
How thin clerks do loike to be talk a