Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1907-01-06

tn Passyfic. Much fightin' I'd do fr
an ocean. but havin taken tn Philip
pines. which ar-re a blamed nuisance
an tn Sandwich Islands. that're about
as vallyable as a toy balloon to a horse
shoer, We've got to grab a lot iy TIL
surroundin' dampness to protect thin
That's wan reason why we're sure to
nave war. Another reason is that tn
Japs want to sind their little forty
fve-year-old childher to be iddycated
in tn San Francisco public schools. A
third reason why it looks like war 10
Hogan an tn Alderman is that they'd
been dhrinkin' together.
Wud We liver have thought twas
possible that amy wan in this coun-
thry cud even talk iv war with thin
delightful. cunning little Oryentals !
why, Ills less thin two years since Ho-
gan was comm home f-om tn bankit
Nv tn Union iv Usurers with his arms
around tn top iv a Jap's head while
IN Jap clutched Hogan affectionately
about tn waist an they sung 'Gawd
save tn Micydoo." Dye raymimber
how we hollered with joy whin a Roo
shyan Admiral put his foot through tn
bottom Nv a man-iv-war an sunk II.
An how we cheered in tn theatytre 10
see tn cute little sojers iv tn Mickydoo
mowln down tn brutal Rooshyan ter
ritory an were about busted an ave-
lher had TO stop fightin' or not have
car fare home our worthy President,
We know who l mean, jumped to tn
front an cried: Boys. stop it. It's
gone far enough to satisfy tn both iv
ye'. An tn angel iv peace brooded
over tn earth an crowed Justify.
Day afther day tn pa-apers come
out an declared, in tn column next
10 tn half-page ad iv tn Koppenhei-
mer bargain Gale that tn defeat iv
Rooshya was a judgment iv tn Lord
on tn Car. If we saw a Jap amy
where We asked him to take a dhrink.
Hogan talked about nawthin' else.
They were a wonderful little people.
How they had diviloped! Nawthin'
in tn histhry iv tn wurruld was akel
To tn way they come up. They cud
shoot straighter an oftener thin amy
other nation. A Jap cud march three
hundred miles a day FIR eight days
with nawthin' to eat but a gumdhrop.
They were highly civvylized. II was
an old civvylization but not tainted be
age. Millyons iv years befure tn first
white man set fut in Milwaukee tn
Japs understood tn mannyfacther iv
patent wringers, SEWN masheens, rea-
pers, telephones, autymobills. Ice
cream freezers. an all tn other WON
dhers iv our boosted Westhern divilop.
ment.
Their customs showed how highly
they'd been civvylized. Whin a Jap
soldier was defeated rather thin sur
rendher an be stint home to have his
head cut of he wud stab himself in tn
Their treatment iv women
put thin on a higher plane thin ours
Cinchries ago befure tn higher iddy-
cation iv women was dhreamed iv in
this country, tn poorest man in ia
pan cud sind his daughter to a tea
house, which is tn same as our female
Summaries. where she remained until
she graduated as tn wife iv some
proud noble iv tn old Samuri push.
Their art had ours trimmed to a
fragile. TIL Jap artist O'Casey's pit
cher iv a lady leanin' on a river while
a COW walked up her back, was tn
eveliest thing in tn wurruld. They
we're tn greatest athletes liver known. A
Japanese child with ricketts, cud throw
JiffIies over a church. They had a
secret iv rasslin' be which Jap rass-
er cud blow on his opponents eyeball
an break his ankle. They were the
finest sOordsmen that iver'd been seen.
Whin Japanese soordsman wint into
combat he made such faces that his
opponent dhroped his soord an thin
ne uttered a blood curdlin cry. waved
MS soord four hundred an fifty tines
over tn head iv tn victim or in tn
Ease IL a Samuri eight hundred an
give a whoOp resimblin'
DUr English wurrud tag an Glove him
10 tn feet. As with us on'y tn lower
classes engaged in business. TIL old
disdained to thrade' but
started banks an got all tn money.
Til poor man had a splendid chance.