Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1907-11-02

~ Oui "Nso ~ WHAT dlt wv
gcin' to get out iv life, says |. How
am goin' to be sorry FIR tn things |
dc, II they're right? No, sir, 1t amt
thrue. Tiddy Rosenfelt is still cham
peen lawn tennis player, an I'm CO.
in to post twenty-five dollars with tn
spoortin' iditor Nv me fav'rite journal
that he can beat tn Archbishop ivI
Canterbury in limited number Nv
rounds, or to finish, prayers f'r sue
cess not barred.
III he'd been beat at lawn tennis
he'd be in retirement now an his
resignation wud be in tn hands Nv
Congress. Instead ~ that he is out
West sayin last fond farewell to
his fellow citizens. A few months
firm now he'll retire to tn peace an
quiet Nv domestic life. An to cilly-
bratc his retirement he's made hun
dherd ringin' speeches. shook hands
with Ave hundherd thousand citizens
an kissed millyon babies. An whin
Thaydore Rosenfelt kisses a baby,
thousands ~ mothers In all corners
Nv tn land hear tn report an tn
baby knows it's been kissed an bears
tn hon'rable scar through life. Twin
~ years firm now tn country will
be full ~ young fellows lookin' as
though they'd grajated firm Ger
man college.
ITS been a sad occasion, this lave
tGkin' Nv "A faithful servant to his
subiicks. At tin o'clock tn prisidin-
tyal thrain comes in to tn deepo
whore vast assimblage Nv sorrowin'
rcop,c are gathered. They show
their grief be sobbing: Good boy,
, Tiddy." We want ye again. Down
with tn Trusts, an other signs Nv
grief, As he steps OFF the thrain Il
land plays: i cannot make my eyes
behave an n crowd Nv sympathetic
citizens takes tn horses OF his car
redgc an hauls him to tn public
speech: Fellow citizens, fellow ray
publicans, fellow dimmycrats, f'r
bar none in me sympathies, an dim
mycrats are MS INTERESTED in tn con-
troll ~ this government as we are.
though not to be trusted with It, in
opcnin this campaign f'r me retire
ment II gives me great pleasure to
see such magnificent an enthusy-
astic assimblage. II shows that yeer
ready to begin tn fight that | hope
win end next Novimbcr in me tri-
Lmphant election tlong an con-
tinyued cheering) as prisidint OF De
/ Faw university (laughter). For
chnitely we have excellent prisidint-
yal timber in tn Republican party.
There's me sicrety Nv state, Mr.. +.
koOt. (Groans.) We will next pass
lightly on to w. Taft. He's an ex-
, cellent good fellow, Bill Taft. Ye
must know that or | wud niver have
MADE him me, sicrety Nv war an give
/ him letter to carry to me impeeryal
brother, tn Mikydoo. There's two
! I've named There are many others.
cant recall thin, but there are.
There's Fairbanks. disturbance in
the aujeence.) He's been our vice
risidint f'r four years, an good,
kind, funny-looking poor old thing
he is, too. He has a failing, as ye
ali know. But there are few Nv us
Perfect. TIL throuble with him is
that tn very smallest amount goes
t"-but why mention It. wasn't
aware iv II whin | lunched with him
an see him shaking "A mixer Nv cock
tails In each hand like a MINSTREL
orformer playin' tn bones. He says
now | made tn iniquitous but agree
able beverage. don't blame him.
Poor fellow, he f'rgits. But ] wish
tC say to me timprance frinds here
assimbled that If Chuckling Charley
Fairbanks shud be ilivated to tn
rrisidincy we will all turn in an do
cur best to keep him away firm that
Ternicious fluid that biteth like an
Esp and stingeth like an adder those
that don't take II. II nicissry secret
sarvice officers cud be kept In tn
white house an whin he begins to
take cough medicine or calisaya, lock
him up till tn craving has past In
deed, ! have great hopes that he may
masther tn habit yet.
II have now given ye ivry reason
'! know why ye shud cast ye'er i'm
Leeryal suffrage f'r amy " these
men. will now speak "A wurrud Nv
advice to ye. To tn Numbers Nv tn
grand army iv tn raypublic befure
me say don't be cow'rds. weaklings
EN- milksops. II ] had had weaklings
with me at San Joon hill, tn first
great military action Nv our coun-
thrys histhry, how few wud've come
up an jined me on tn top Nv that
mim'rable hump. To tn mothers be-
fure me ! say bring up ye'er boys to
Eeep on a fighting edge. | don't mean
tn kind Nv fighting edge boy cud
get at Charley Fairbanks house, but
that kind Nv sober, prudent, sane,
ir-ye-say-another-wurrud-lll-give-ye-
p-Whack-in tha-eye attichOOd thai