davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-12-14
STARS OR sT0MACHs.


Rosanna has been many years In SER
Vice In a certain college town, and Is
well known to all the friends of her
employers. One of them, just returned
from long absence. stopped her on
the street to make inquiries about the
health of the professor, who, she had
just learned, had been Ill.
II do hope he is better" she said.
"Neuritis is enough to endure at any
time, but coming this year, am afraid
he must have felt the interruption to
his work even harder to bear than the
pain"
"Yes'm, he did that" Rosanna as
sented, sympathetically. "He was that
fretty about his darling big book there
was no pacifying the man.
But he's over 1t now, ma'am, and
enjoying grand good health, and the
book finished entoirely, and him busy
writing another wan. And tits not
about the stars, ma'am, at ahl, this
time; it's discourse on the fashion
able diseases"
but, Rosanna, that's impossiblel"
cried the lady. "Why, he doesn't
know anything about dlseasesl He
wouldn't know humps from menin.
gifts !"
Except for me knowledge being con-
trairy to 1t, I'd be of that way of
thinking mes:lf," admitted Rosanna,
confidentially. But on'y yesterday 1t
was heard him say to the mistress,
exulting-like, Congratulate me, Alice.
I've finished the appendixl' So We see,
ma'am, it's diseases for certain.
"Ah, It's the wonderful man he Isl
Stars or stumicks, ahl's one to the
brains of him!"
This compliment Rosanna's hearer-
who did not enlighten her concerning
the different varieties Of appendix
later repeated to the professor, who
asserts stoutly that none he ever re-
ceived has afforded him more thorough
satisfaction.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-12-14
WIT or THE YOUNGSTERS.

Teacher-Tommy, can you tell me
what the son Of king and queen is
called? Tommy-Yes, ma'am-the
Jack.
What are the mountains forT ask
ed the teacher Of the juvenile geog-
raphy class. For summer resorts"
answered the small boy at the foot
Little Harold hope I shall be
bald when I get to be a man. His
Mother-Why, dear? Little Harold
So l can sit in the front row at the
theater.
Johnny" said father to his greedy
offspring, you are like pig. Do you
know what a pig isT' Eyes, sir" an
severed Johnny. "A pig is a hogs
little boy"
A small miss, being asked at the
close of her first day at school how
she liked the teacher, replied: ooh,
pretty well. She reminds me Of
mamma. she's SO awfully saucy."
Aunt Julia-Freddie, you have mud
all over your new suit What will
mamma say? Freddie-Oh, she'll be
hoppin' mad, but I've just got to spoil
my clothes fore she let's me have any
fun In 'em.
Gilbert, the small son Of minister,
was one day trying to construct a
church with his building blocks, but
found he hadn't enough blocks. "Say,
papa" he inquired, gravely, "can't you
hold up your congregation for funds
to finish my church,"
Little Elmer-Say, Uncle Bob, what
makes you walk lame? Uncle Bob
There was streetcar accident to-day
and I got caught in the jam. Little
Elmer-Well, 1 know how that Is.
Mamma caught me in the jam one time
and 1 walked lame for a week.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-12-14
WOMEN AND BASEBALL.

One of the Sex Explains Why She
Doesn't Know Game Very Well.
II don't see that It's much wonder If
women don't know a great deal about
that game of baseball" remarked
Cleveland woman in the role Of an
abused wife the other day to a Plain
Dealer man. eff all men were like my
husband 1t would be fine chance any
wife would have to learn anything be-
sides household drudgery. I think it's
absolutely absurd the way some men
seem to lose all control of their senses
and all idea Of ordinary courtesy when
they get within sight of a crowd Of
men knocking a ball about a big pas
ture.
'I've always been so bored to death
by baseball games the few times my
husband has persuaded me to go, be-
cause never could tell who was win
ming, that told my husband wouldn't
60 to any more Of the old games with
him. Then the other day he told me
that If I'd go he would just make it his
business for that one day to explain
the game to me-
"Well, he started In to explain things
to me. and his mood lasted just until
some one hit the ball, and then he be-
gan to shout and jump up and down as
If some one had hooked an electric
wire to his seat. / thought something
very unusual must have happened and
l tried to get him to tell me what he
was acting so foolish about, but he
just snapped out: This is too good a
game. III tell you all about 1t when
we get home And that was all l
could get out of him during the rest of
the tiresome old game I'll never 60
to one with him again."
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-12-14
Staying AN INDUSTRY.

British War Department Buys zoo
900 American Horseshoes.
Sir Howard Vincent, NJ. p, has Just
succeeded in drawing forth from Mr..
Haldane, the Secretary of State for
War, what Is considered most Inn
portant admission, that the government
is administering the death blow to
what was once a most fiourishing Brit
ish ndustry-horseshoe making. Sir
Towards Interpolation Is worth quot
ing, says the New York Times.
To ask the Secretary Of State for
War If an order for 100000 pairs Of
horseshoes has recently been placed by
the war department In America; II AT
kegs of horseshoes which arrived this
month for G. & Co., per steamship Min
netonka, SO8 kegs per steamship Min
neapolis, and 435 kegs per steamship
Minnehaha, from New York, were In
reality for the shoeing of British army
horses, and, having regard to the de-
preston in the horseshoe trade in the
United Kingdom and among farriers
generally, owing to the increase in the
use Of motors, If he can explain why
his Majesty's government did not give
this order in a way to support British
Industries and British workers.
Mr.. Haldane has admitted that an
order for 100000 pairs of horseshoes
had been placed by the war officials
in America, Sin the interest Of the
economical administration of the army,
which cannot regard the source of sup
ply" The secretary presented no fig
ures. 1t is admitted that the war office
may have effected a small saving by
the transaction, but just such miser-
ly practices, 1t is declared, are slowly
killing British Industries. One govern
ment organ points with satisfaction
to the alleged fact that the govern
ment can buy horseshoes in America
cheaper than the United States gov
eminent can.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-12-14

"Oh, cut 1t out ~ said the bill clerk,
impatiently
II don't know how else to advise
you. Johnny" said the cashier. "Not
unless you want to kick 1t ahead of
you, and that would be apt to burst
the paper. Too bad! You might be
mistaken for a suburbanite."
The bill clerk dropped the package
by the side of his desk and went to
work on his books.
Don't think that l don't sympa-
thize with you," said the cashier, gent.
ly. II know how annoying 1t Is to a
sensitive person to be the cynosure of
all eyes and the observed of all OBJ
servers. l can quite imagine the SEN
sation that you will cause when you
appear on the street. / can see the
amazement, the wonder and horror Of
the crowd. I can almost hear the
boots Of derision and the sneering re-
marks of the men and the filters or
plying expressions, as the case may
be. of the women. It's darned
Slldlile NOuucE IL lnty WON nave
1t in the papers. l want you to under
stand, Johnny, that If they get your
picture from anybody 1t won't be from
me. If they try to snapshot you put
up your umbrella. I'll lend you mine
II you haven't one here. don't make
1t rule to lend you umbrellas"
you don't make 1t a rule to return
the ones you borrow from me, either"
said the bill clerk.
"'Mr. Gosley Has Packagev"
said the cashier in headline tones.
tournament of LaSalle Street Burden
ed with a Bundle tut, tut !! Johnny,
you simply must not carry that. Let
me carry 1t for you. 1t won't matter
SO much for me. If wore hat with
blue and white striped band and en-
broidered socks and sllver-mounted
stick 1t might be different, but / don't,
and out of thousand people that l
meet it's quite likely that not more
than 500 will know me or care con-
tinental what I'm carrying. You'd bet
ter let me carry it. I'm nobody In par
ucular."
"You amt doing yourself Justice"
said the bill clerk. 81 think you're the
prize smart Aleck Of the village
Chicago Daily News.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-12-14
IN TEE COED OLD TIMES.
Quaint Customs that Recall Decid
eddy Odd Manners.

Quaint Customs that Recall Decid-
eddy Odd Manners.
In the first place, the woods are full
Of men, runs 1.-The Chronicles of
| Queer Girl'' In the Ladies' Home Jour-
nal. They were numerous as the sands
OF the sea, and life was interesting, to
put 1t mildly. In my time there was
no such thing as the pairing Off Of one
couple to keep company" for years at
stretch, to the exclusion Of other
friends. A girl was free to accept the
attention Of any and all young. men,
and have different escort to every
dance, picnic or party of the season.
Even an engaged girl was not expected
to go only with her fiance, but made
things lively by entertaining and going
about with different young men and
keeping the community upon the qui
vive as to which would be her final
choice.
There was no time for id1ing in those
days-hours for fooling dull care and
battling stern necessity. A pretty girl
was likely to spy from her window an
interesting group of pedestrians or a
dashing horseman at almost any hour
In the day. If she went downtown
(she did not 60 often, gentle reader,
as girls do nowadays) 1t was strange,
indeed, IL there was not rivalry as to
which of the young gallants should
walk home with her. On Sunday the
rear seats Of the sanctuary were COM
fortably filled with young gentlemen
OF no special religious professions, and
1t was by no means the least interest
Ing feature of the service passing out
OF the church door and down the line.
smiling and bestowing glances upon
them as they stood with raised hats.
gravely saluting one pretty devotee af-
ter another as she came out with the
Sabbath halo around her face.
There was a custom, now obsolete,
no doubt for lack of numbers as well
as spirit, Of giving pretty girl q
grand rush" on Sunday afternoons
As l look back now can see phalanx
OF hats and trousers, audacious faces
and buttonhole bouquets moving along
the village street.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-12-14
An improvements.

The Joys OF the suburbanite are a
fertile source Of newspaper fun all over
the country, for every city has it's sub
urbs Here is the Philadelphia Inoui-
rer's little fling.
i see they have taken the seven a.
m. train OF this line. Do you miss itf'
asked one suburbanite of another.
Not so often as I used to when II
was on"
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-12-14
rrotsstinx Coal Miners.

The terrible accidents which have oc-
CURED recently in the coal mines Of
Germany and France have drawn the
attention Of scientists, especially In the
former country, to the Introduction Of
methods of protecting the miners
against the recurrence of such calami-
ties or at least to Diminishing as far
as possible, the ensuing loss of life.
says the New York Tribune.
One measure: contemplated is the
construction of safety chambers, shut
on from the rest of the mime and pro-
tected against explosions. "A conduit
Of compressed air. is introduced into
these excavated rooms, and should the
conduit be destroyed vessels or bottles
filed with oxygen stored In the cham
bers are Intended to supply the neces-
sary air until rescue can be effected
A logical extension Of the plan Is the
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-12-14

That interesting creature, the okapi,
allied to the giraffe, and discovered by
Sir Harry Johnston on the eastern
border of the Congo forest (near the
Semliki River. which joins the Albert
Nyanza and the Albert Edward Lake,,
had never been observed and studied
by white man in its living state until
five months aga-when young calf
okapi about mouth old was obtained
by Signor Ribotti at Bambilli, on the
Evelle River (about 400 miles north
west of the original locality. The pic
ture is that of living okapi, calf
about month old. The photograph Is
the first that has ever been taken Of a
living specimen.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-12-14
.
rstt'@as1zg

The bill clerk signed the receipt
book that the boy had offered him,
frowning blackly, and then regarded
the package with an expression Of dis
gust.
1--WE a big notion to send 1t right
back to him." he said to the cashier.
wouldn't that jar your
IL suppose 1t would rock me to my
foundation" said the cashier, agreea-
bly,. I'D be more confident II / knew
what it was, though"
"It's suit of clothes sent to be
cleaned" growled the bill clerk, "and
instead of sending 1t to me at the
house they dump 1t on me here"
1T does look rather unbuslnesslike,
having your raiment delivered at the
Office" conceded the cashier. "Still, as
long as our respected employer hasn't
seen 1t and there isn't any probability
that any one will call his attention to
1t, I wouldn't worry"
L VIC Bot W carry IL HOlne, 1tHdL y
what's worrying me-" said the bill
clerk.
"How much does 1t weighT In
CURED the cashier. II suppose you
could hire truck II 1t is more than
you can stagger under. But the boy
didn't seem to look fatigued, not more
30 than messenger boy usually does
Have you sprained your wrist, or any.
thing7"
mo, I haven't" snapped the bill
cvlerk, "but I'm not stuck on carrying
parcels through the street. And 1t
isn't an ornamental package Mt that"
I'm very Dense" said the cashier
slapping his forehead IT declare I
hadn't thought Of that People will be
likely to see you If you carry 1t, won't
theyf suppose 1t would appear
little suspicious II you tried to conceal
1t underneath your coat"
The bill clerk looked at him con-
temptuously.
"How would 1t be If you dragged IT
behind you by piece of string and
tried to look as If 1t didn't belong to
your" suggested the cashier. "Folks
mightn't notice the string. They might
think 1t was strange parcel follow
Ing you without your aid or consent"
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-12-14
Pat Wa. Going Some.

An. Englishman, an Irishman and a
Scotchman were one day arguing as
to which of the three countries pos
sessed the fastest trains.
WELL" said the Englishman, "I've
been in one Of our trains and the tele-
graph poles have been like hedge"
Eve seen the milestones appear like
tombstones," said the Scot.
"Be Jabers 7 said Pat, II was one day
In train in my country, and we passed
a field of turnips and Il field Of carrots,
also field Of cabbage and parsley,
then pond of water, and we were
going that quick thought 1t was a
broth."-Judge.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-12-14
Hi. Som nin NO Fool.

There's that son Bill Of mine," saio
the old farmer as he chewed at tooth.
pick and looked out across the meadow
1--WE always considered Bill about as
near fool as they make 'em. One day
In May he come home from town and
says to me:
dad, the wheat crops short by
200, 100000 bushels
"'What of it2' says I.
"'Wheat's going to jump
"'Well, let 'er jump
"'But you've got 500 in cash. Buy
wheat and make half a thousand
"'Blll,' says l, when want to play
the fool and lose my $500 I'll come to
you for advice
"That shet him up, just as Il meant
1t to. He had hundred OF his own,
and next day he went up to town agin.
He didn't say nuthin' for week and
then he suddenly shows me a bank
book with $500 to his credit.
How'd you do ltY says with my
eyes bulgin' out.
Dad he replies, when I want to
answer fool questions will give you
the first chance
He'd put his hundred into wheat
and made half thousand. and ever
since that Eve been sorter thlnkln' that
he, hain't so much of burned fool but
what he might make a purity fair law
yer"
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-12-14
Eph's Letter,

All wish dis wind what's a-blowin' yo'
way
Would tell 20 de words what All wants
ten say.
All thinks OBJ things when Ah'm all alone,
Dat would sholy win yo' fob ma own,
But 1t seems when All looks in yo' eyes
Dat ma tongue gifts soht OBJ parrylize',
So All wish dis win what's a-blowin' yo'
way
Would whisper de words what All wants
ten say.
kansas City Times.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-12-14
Love Is King.

Love is the great dlsciplinarian, the
supreme harmonizer. the true peace
maker. 1t is the great balm for all
that blights happiness or breeds discon-
tent. 1t is a sovereign panacea for
malice, revenge and all the brutal pro-
pensities. AS cruelty melts before
kindness, so the evil passions find their
antidote in sweet charity and loving
mpathy.-Success Magazine.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-12-14
BY Darkness. Made visible

Parker-Stage stars to-day are
mighty small luminaries.
Winter-That's right; they wouldn't
be seen at all IL 1t were not for the
benighted condition Of our DRAMA
Boston Transcript.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-12-14
MISREPRESENTATION.

"Why are you SO distrustful of the
railwaysT
81 lost faith In 'em the first time I
noticed that every one of 'em issued
maps showing their own lines drawn
with ruler and the others looking like
bent hairpins. Washington Star.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-12-14

1t is the contrariness Of her sex that
causes a women to love a man after
she imagines she has broken his heart
by not loving him.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-12-14

Should you keynote sound, be sure
That this will be your solemn fate;
Your foes will VOW your speech Is poor
And all your friends will say it's great
-Washington Star.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-12-14

equipment of these chambers with a
suf1cient supply of water and con-
densed food to sustain life for reason
able period of time In somewhat the
same manner as llfeboats ON vessels
are equipped.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-12-14
The One Execution.

81 suppose" said the man from the
city, you raise practically everything
on your farm"
swell. yes, everything" replied the
candid farmer. "but the money to make
It pay."-Philadelphla Press.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-12-14

The longer "A. woman has been mar
ried, the greater her wonder that she
ever thought wedding clothes would
cut any figure in her happiness
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-12-14
A slayer.

I'm going to kiss you when I tell
you good-by."
II fear I'll be too old to be kissable
en."-Houston Post.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-12-14
So Imnnlifa.

"ohW gasped Caesar, as he felt the
thrust of Brutus' dagger. "How rude
of you to cut as old friend r-Baltir
more American
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-12-14

The devil Is mighty mean, but he
Furnishes others II they do not behave
themselves.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-12-14

A man Is up against tough luck II
he marries a woman who knows that
shs knows more than he does.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-12-14

No woman ever admired a man after
seeing him asleep with his mouth open.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-12-14

There isn't anything chickenhearted
about the game rooster
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1907-10-15
BASEBALL, AN HONEST SPORT.

of
ee
OF
of
o
the
10000 $4,000
in
too
/
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1907-10-15
DEEP WATERWAY LEGISLATION.


develop
the INNER
of the
Of
Of
the
Of to
viii
winter be W
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1907-10-15
CHAPTER XLvII.

1t was twilight and a railway train
which for many hours had been
speeding over snow covered land
scape with an occasional village
rising to break the monotony, was
rapidly nearing a great city.
1t was easy to recognize the prox-
unity of the big town with out the
suggestion offered by the occasional
manufacturing smoke-grimed walls,
or of the dingy rolling mills belching
fire from the tops of their tower-like
chimneys.
For far to the northward hung
a sombre pall-a pail of smoke which
seemed to mock at the effort of the
setting sun to struggle through it's
gloom.
But Notwithstanding the dismal
prospect, there were light hearts
aboard this flying train. Hearts which
beat with the blessings of youth and
of health and of hope.
Three of the passengers, a woman
still on the sunny side of middle-age,
and two young girls were seated
within the drawing-room section of
palatial Pullman. The two girls
watched eagerly the changing land
scape. One of these was fair and
blue-eyed and golden-haired. The
others rich coloring glowed through
skin less delicate, but no less beau
tiful. Her lustrous. dark eyes, shaded
by long, sweeping lashes-her masses
of dark hair coiled in simple fashion
on her shapely head, were in direct
contrast to the fower-like beauty Of
the slender creature who hung fond
" over her as the train rushed on
Look there, Dorisl" said the
brunette to her fair companion
THAT group of buildings must BIZ
the Merrieweather steel mills. I re
member taking particular notice o.
them as we came by when we lef
for Europe. Who would believe tina
was three long years ago."
| Doris had been gazing across tn,
bleak expanse of snow-coveret
prairie. grimy with the smoke of tn,
factories and mills, toward the grea
pile Of masonry in the distance, brist
ling with many smokestacks.
/ Il guess you are right" she &C
quiesced. Mamma. look! Are thos
Marshall's mills? Marine thinks the.
are"
Mrs. Methyen who had been read
ing, put by her book.
Yes" she said ''Yonder is Scran
ton and to the right are the Merrie
. weather mills. How tremendous tn
buildings look when you get an IN
interrupted view of the entire group