The Washington herald., 1907-10-20
We learn from that old story
To which Jonah owes ren0Tn,
That il Is quite impossible
To keep q good man down.
What Lac Grent NIan Did,

To which Jonah owes TenOwn,
That il Is qyitg impossible
To keep good man down
What the Great Man Did.
OF course il is right and proper that
the places In which great men have dis
tinguished themselves should be set apart
and preserved. We have our monuments
at Chickamauga and at Gettysburg. Mt.
Vernon Is beautifully cared for. and all
of us have been asked lately to contribute
10 a fund to preserve the birthplace of
Lincoln. When private citizens make fu-
ture Meccas their care. the spirit Is
one to be highly commended. a man
who spent the summer In New England
has been telling me of a house up there
20 which a very great man made a brief
visit not so very long ago. He is man
equally noted for a great many things,
and a fondness for athletics is one of
them. When he visited the house speak
OF, luncheon time came, and he was not
TO be found. Shouts were heard from the
back yard. and the host hurried thither
10 find the children OF the family gaz-
ing in wonderment at the great man.
The great man had been dared by one
of them 10 stand on his head. and he had
performed the feat Now, so 1 am told,
a small space is marked of in that back
yard by means Of stakes and a wire net
ting. 1t is the hallowed spot where the
great man stood on his head.
Mark Twain Hs a Pilot.
Mark Twain's reticence. in his autobi-
ography. concerning one important period
Of his career. and his avoidance of the
scheme 10 have him pilot the President
and his party down the Mississippi. Ger
tainly does lend color. TO a scUrrilous story
which is circulated and believed along
the river as everybody in the middle
West calls the Father of Waters. An
old pilot told il 10 me, and 1 refused 90
believe IT, Mark Twain. he told me, was
never real pilot He knew how 20 pilot
a boat, and he did pilot several boats
along a stream that has TO be learned
anew every trip; but he wasn't quite the
genuine article. He didn't begin as deck
hand and work up through second mate
and first mate in the proper way. Along
the river it Is doubted whether he ever
even acquired a second mates vocabulary.
though that fact Is no great drawback To
a literary man, since you can print real
second mates remarks only symboiically,
by means of dashes. 1t is told OF him.
from Shippinsport TO New Orleans, that
he paid a man to teach him TO be
pilot. I hope Mr. Clemens will refute the
calumny some day, but. till he does,
divers and sundry pilots viii snif at men
ton OF his name. Also, when he does
start in 10 refute it, he VIII have TO re-
member that lots of these pilots are from
Missouri.
Waitress query Is Relevant.
Il don't know whether the pompadoured
young lady who brings me my breakfast
has been listening, or whether she thinks
for herself" says the young man who
takes his meals in a restaurant, but
she's getting 20 be almost funny. Yester-
day I ordered liver and bacon, and then
/ waited and waited till I'd committed
everything IN The WashingtnO Herald to
memory.
Come hither.' 1 said to her. I gave
you my order half an hour ago. Do get
that liver?
she stopped chewing gum longer than
ever knew her to do before.
&c You get IT, said she; but there We're
two orders IN ahead Of yours. You don't
want your liver out Of order, do YOU?
DIabOIO Got Ted's Father.
My young friend Ted has a dlabolo
set which his aunt sent him from Paris
Paris. as the papers have told you. has
gone mad over diabolO. It's a game with
an apparatus made up of an hour-glass
shaped arrangement Of celluloid, with a
circle Of rubber at each end, and two
short sticks tied together by a yard
long string. You toss the hOur-glass up
with the string and catch il on the
string as it comes down. OF course
there's more TO the game, but that's all
1 happen to know about It. Last Sun
day Ted was naughty, and his father
sent him to his room 10 stay all after
noon, Sunday being tine day Ted, ST., de
votes TO training his son. Presently
there was heard a humping on the floor,
and a jumping about
What's Ted doiug?' demanded his
father
Playing with his diabolo. I suppose"
answered his mother. You didn't tell
him 10 sit stiH"
We'll. I won't have that noise" said
Teds father I'll stop that. or I'll
know the reason why"
Father disappeared. and for two min
utes there was silence. Then the jump
ing and humping began more than ever.
and presently something crashed. Ted's
mother ran up. There was Ted, ST.,
pranciEg about the room, madly, throw
ing the diabolo and making. Wild dives
at II as il came down. Two globes were
broken on the chandelier and a chair was
overturned Ted, ST., sat on the bed
Fathers showing me how 10 do it," he
explained
Father turned around. a little red in
the face.
You're smashing everything in the
room." said the lady of the house.
Ted, sr., looked annoyed
Come on. SON. he said; IF mother is
so particular, we'd better go out into the
back yard to do this If you'll apologize
to her for what you did, I think she'll
let you go. It's a shame to keep a boy
indoors all day"
ternOOn in the yard And after Ted. ir-.
was In bed, Ted sr., remarked rebuk-
ingly to his wife.
81 don't see why you don't send that
boy out TO play when he's naughty, In
stead of shutting him up. He needs ex-
ercise TO work of his spirits"
II was on the tip OF Ted's mothers
tongue 10 say: You sent him TO his
room yourself; but she's a wise woman.
and never interferes with Ted, Sis, idea
Of discipline
What a boy needs is exercise" Ted,
sr-, went on y think I'll get another
of those diabolO sets. so I can play with
him"
And Ted's mother didn't even remind
him that the game was the one he'd