The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1907-06-04

Well. Sir" said Mr. Dooley. II sec
/ me frind Tiddy Rosenfelt has been
doin' little lithry criticism, an tn
hospitals are full iv raangtet authors
tn next time wan iv tnint nature an
thors goes out into tn woods .ookin'
What's 1t about?" asked Ar. Hen
Messy.
Twas this way said Mr. Dooloy.
Il have II fr'u Hogan. me Hthry ad
wiser. He keeps ne posted ON what :
goin' on in litraohoor. an I do tn
same fr him on crime> I've always
got a little something that's exc!tin'
| comm to me, but this time he's made
good. 1t seems, We gee, that a good
nanny iv tn la-ads that write tn
books have been lawn tn route " tn
throlley line an takin' to tn woods.
They quit Myrtle an Clarence an
tn wrong done to Oscar Lumlovftch
be tn brutal foreman iv lard tank
nino. an went to wlirruk on tn on
happy love affairs tv Carrie Boo, tn
deer, an tn throubles In tn domestic
relations " tn panfish an tn skate
tor tn last year tn ony books that
Hogan has told me about have been
wrote about anirliles I've always
thought iv tn beasts ~ tn forest
proWlin around an tahin' q leg off a
man tlat'd been sint TO Colorado f'r
MS lungs. But these boys tell rae
they're Gifrrent in their home life.
They fall in love, get na<ri'd an d.
vo0rcad, bring UP families, an arc
supported or devoUred be thin, as tn
case nay be. accnnaylate money,
9odGc taxes, dhrinlz to excess an in
ivTy way act like human bein's.
wGdden't be surprised to know that a
bear mad tiltyphone IN his room, an
that tn gopher complained iv his gGs
bills.
''Ivry time go up into th' park to
see me cid frind tn illyphant | Won
dher what dhreans er're going on be-
hind that nose " his that he uses
akelly as garden hose, q derrick, or
a knife an fork. Is he recallin' tn
happy days ct Barnu4n's befure bru-
tai man sunk an Ice pick into him an
dhrove him to tn park? Is there
some wan still there that he thinks iv ?
Is she alive, Is she dead, does she
iver dhreaIn " him as she ates her
hay an rubs her back again tn bars
IL her gilded cage? There's tn hippy-
potanaus. He don't look to be full IL
saaf mint, but &c never cal stef-. narf-
ny an aclin' heart beats behind q
oold an sloppy eyteeryor. Some
w71erewhere in sunny Africa a lovin'
family may be waitin' FIR him tn
waliow a. til river side IS there, with
tn slime an ooze arranged by tinder
paws. But he Will not return They
will meet, but they will miss him.
there viii be wan vacant lair
'Weli, Sir, Just as I'd got to tn
frame iv mind whin I'm thinkin' "
askin' that gloomy 1ooSin' allyeator
in tn park up to sp1nd an avenin'
with me, along comes Tiddy Rosen-
felt an says there's nawthin' in it.
It's hard on tn boys. They ar-re
dom the best they can Ye can't ex-
pect an author 70 lave his comfort
able fat an go three or four thousand
miles to larn whether tn havro iv his
little love story murdhers his uncle
be bitin' him abaft tn ear or be fellip'
him with haif Nelson an hammer
lock. Why should he? Who wud feed
tn goold fish while he was gone? No,
sir. he does just right. Instead iv
venturin' into -th' wilds an p'raps be-
in ct up be wan iv his fav'rite char
ackters, he calls f'r some tea an toast.
jabs his pen into tn inkwell. an
writes: tVichthry was not long in tn
grasp iv tn whale Befure he cud
rayturn to his burrow Tusky Bicuspid
had seized him be tn tail an dashed
his brains out again a rock With a
leap in tn air th' bold wolf put to
rout a covey iv Tnuskrats. those evil
sojers iv fortune that ARE seen how
rim over ivry animile battlefield. Wan
blow iv his paw broke tn back iv tn
buffalo. With another he crushed a
monsthrous sage hen, at wonst tn
most treacherous an tn hardest iv
tn beasts iv tn wild Paralyzed be
tn boldness iv tn wolf, tn camel an
th aux fed firm tn scene iv havoc, as
is their wont. All that remained iv
his inim1es now was tn COW, which
defied him firm the branches iv a
pine tree an pclted him with tn
monstrous fruit iv this cillybrated