Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-11-02
HIDDEN XMAS GIFTS
UNCLE SAM INSTITUTES A NEW NATURALIZATION HIDE
, PROCESS, MAKING FRAUD ALMOST MAPOSSIBI FL III

Beats the dickens what a sh"rJ time
| there is between Fourth Of JEly and
Christmas. these years. I can remem-
| Der the time when there was a stretch
| of about fourteen years bet" con tho
| Fourth Of July and Christmas. can't
you. feuers? Why. ChristT-SN toe
| cIomping along before We know 4.
Right now the time is draN4.- pretty
| close when a fellow will ha,a 10 he
| mighty careful about opening bureau
drawers when his wife is IN me room
If he doesn't want to be scared into
compton when she notices what he's
doing. Ysee, this is Just about he be
ginning Of the season when wiNeS start
to hiding the Christmas presents they've
bought for their husbands. Funny gag.
that, too. Just why wives VII persist
in hiding Christmas gifts In bureau
drawers that are used In cnmf"n Nv
both a man and his wife. when there
are so many SUre-enOugh hiding places
for such junk To be found. has always
| had me wineing. But the women folks
all do il. don't they
Then there's another thing about
this Christmas present hdire business
Most men stick It ont that women are
the curious. iuqui tive sex. don't they?
| Well, l don't believe il In NY opinion
men arr whole heap NOR curious and
! tnquisitive than women. Fact Is. ! know
it.
For instance, a husband lorF about
this season that's approaching. is cropping
around for a fresh shirt upon z ting up
in the morning He yanks out thn wrong
drawer of tha bureau His VIII is in the
room. and she sees him NJ list men In
variahly pun out the wrong draw n hrst-
II doesn't make particle Of difference
if they've been keeping their shirts in the
sel'-sane drawer for quarter O. n CEN
fury. every blamed time that tn'N go to
that bureau to look for s!.irt they pun
out some other drawer than TIA" one their
shirts have always been kept in And
the man usually accompanies THIS With
grOwl about the way his wearing apparel
IS being constantly shifted around hy MS
wife. Wei. on this morning h pulls out
the bottom bureau drawer say. and his
wife. who is fixing her hair At IN. chif-
fOnier in another part of the room catch
es him in the act Just In tim. Its out her
little squa wk. and races over to the hu-
reau and pushes the drawer shut. The
man jumps part of the way out Of his
skin when he hears her little SQGawk, not
knowing what in blazas ais har. and then,
when he catches sight of her fH"', why,
the thing dawns upon him. Then the
zap grirs n her.
So It's in there hey? he says to her.
''Scuse me for living and th=u the null
lethead goes on ginning Ike c"impan-
zee while he brushes his HAIR. Then he
turns to her.
'Whatchoo got in there. anyway he
asks her
"she tells him. with grlmace. and very
properly that it's none of MS business.
And she adds something about folks that
rubber
But. say. gwan and tell me whatchoo
got In there. won't your he tries again,
wheedingly.
"Whereupon his wife makes mention Of
that feline that met an untimely end
through curiosity.
That's all right about the cat says
the husband then, but I'll bet You new
rubber plant that it's cigars that you've
got in thee. And then he begins TO look
a bit alarmed. Say. I hope not, though.
I'm thinking about swearing off smoking
soon now. anyhow
"Of course. this statement is I'M
worthy invention of the moment; yet,
when It comes to that II would be sad II
men were to he condemned eternally for
attempting to head their wives off from
presenting them with Yuletide cigars.
wouldn't it?
But this hint Of his about the cigars
doesn't get the least bit of a ris, out Of
her. Not much. Nothing whatever doing
in the conversational line on her part.
- oh. I'm a pinhead. sure enough, her
husband SAYS then. after a pause. and
still consumed and just eaten alive by
curiosity. I might have known all the
time that it's shaving outfit. That's ex-
actlv what IT IS. for a sure thing
However. his wife most carefully adj
1usts her side combs and cu'tr rafrains
from talking. Then he sticks his hands
into his trousers pockets and looks her
over quizz Cally.
law. come on, now. like a coed girl
and tell me l. you've gone ami got me
that bath robe that we were looking at In
the shop window the other afternoon
he says to her in his most scientific como
logical tone.
she has finished dressing by this time.
And she places her hands upon her hips
and faces him resolutely
You are to leave the room this In
slant she says to him.
again he grins idiotically as he slips on
his coat. and he goes out o. the room
he keeps on rubbering back like a whelp
of a boy, and says to her:
Say. Minnie, you might let a Teller
see what you've got tucked in there, at
that
Just compare the attitude of the aver
age husband in this Christmas gift bust
ness with the position of his wife on that
same subject. She doesn't ally want
to know what he is going to give her for
Christmas. She wants to be s'prised.'
Look. here. hun he says to her some
morning along toward Christmas-usually
he put It off till about the last day. when
everything is all picked over in the stores
Look a-here. my dear, whatchoo want
for Christmas, hey? It's up to you, you
know
why, the very idea" she exclaims.
Up to met Preposterous! Why, 1t
told you what I wanted you to ct for
me-
"'Oh. that's one way of looking at IT.
he says. But. dye know, l was thinking
about getting you
" 'Sh-sh-sh Stop" she cries out. putting
her fingers in her ears. Don't you dare
tell me- Jack Gosling. Don't you dare!
"All the same. she's foxy. at that.
After a while an idea strikes her.
You knew. of course, Jack. she says.
musngly that If you are worried about
the sizes of things. why. your sister Agnes
and l exactly the same sizes in
everything. and She
" But. nix he breaks in. 1t isn't any
thing that comes in sizes. It's one OF
those
And again her fingers go into her ears.
The 's'prise' is the whole thing to her,
and she is resolved not to hear in advance
what he is thinking of getting for her.
Now If all this doesn't come pretty
near proving that women are really less
curious than men. then [ dunno, l dunno.
hey?"
FOX LAKE. Wis. November Jarvis
Willett, cd sixty. became enraged yes
terday upon discovering that halloween
had carried off his wagon.