The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1907-10-31

the Kind to keep US awake nlgntS an0
before the police courts Of all the coun
ties 'twixt Cattaraugus and Kenne.
bunk. We're too poor to pay even fol
that long and tolerably consistent
scent that lies in the trail Of ii, and we
gnash our teeth to think that we never
can get our pictures in the Sunday
papers because we shall never own one
Of those machines. But If we as citi-
zens of this metropolis owned the troll
leys 1t would be different. When the
Green avenue and Gompers square car
goes by we would look at its brilliantly
lit electric interior and smile with sat
isfaction. That is my new Whining
ton,' we'd say to our country cousins
who were visiting us. Then we'd nod
politely to the chauffeur, and he'd stop
and take us aboard, and by and by
the conductor would come through and
hand US all nickel
what in thunder are you talking
about? What on earth would the
conductor hand you nickel for?" de-
manded the lawyer.
For riding ON the car. of course"
said the idiot That's the scheme,
isn't it?"
"Oh, Is it?" laughed the lawyer.
"Well. l guess that's the way some
people look at it. What is your pre-
else idea Of municipal ownership any
how?'
why" said the idiot, Gas l under
stand the propaganda OF the NJ. o.
people as expounded on the editorial
pages Of the sporting extras of the
New York Evening Brisbane and the
Chicago Daily William Randolph, mu-
nicipal ownership means the grabbing
Of everything in sight that has a cash
register and a meter attached to 1t,
sending the original owners to Jail for
life and managing what's left for the
benefit Of the people. In the case OF
the trolleys all the enormous profits
derived from the nefarious practice
now In operation of carrying passen-
ger ninety miles for a nickel are to be
turned back TO hoi po!loi in the shape
Of annual dividends with blue trading
stamps with every dollars worth,
which on presentation at the office of
any gas company in the United States
will eIftitle the bearer to free gas for
the rest of his natural life.
THE expected imprOv ements IN the
public service will lie along the better.
ment Of cars, an increased urbanity on
the part of the motormen and conduct.
ors and far greater regard for beau.
ty In all rapid transit matters. AS
understand the situation as to the first
improvements, the cars are to be larger
to begin with, better ventilated and
without straps. No car will be 30
small that anybody will ever have to
stand in or out OF rush hours. Each
passenger will be provided with Nor
ris chair on q swivel, with a writing
desk and an electric light attached. sta.
tionery and typewriters to be had on
application to the conductor. At one
end Of each car there will be q Car
negie library and reading room, with
all the magazines and weeklles on
file, and at the other buffet where
soft drinks will be dispensed by the
OCoS ShC poAttA\AoAo Soh IA oLS
up. In the advertising panels that run
around the walls of the car, instead OF
these being merely frlezes of patent
medicines, face powders. breakfast
foods and corsets, elevatlng literature
will be printed by such authors as
Dicky Davis, Ella Wheeler Wilcox and
Henry James. with a college graduate
on the rear platform to explain the
paragraphs Of the last named author
to those who do not understand reform
ed rhetoric. Ladies will be escorted to
their seats by bellboys. and every car
will have a chaperon. aided by q com.
petent bouncer to see that attractive
looking shoppers, dainty little widows
and others of the female persuasion are
able to travel a block without being
ogled off the car by vagrom drummers
and lads from the smoke regions late
" come into possession Of their IA
Tiers hard earned savings.
CAN the motormen will be put
through a course Of instruction In good
manners. so that when lady on