Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1907-11-20

l see that because a Teller by the
name of Jan Janson made sech a
wonderful showin' at the governa-
torial race in Minnesota last fall,
the Swedes over in Stockholm have
got it in their heads to challenge
the New York Yacht Club fer
sailin' race. Now if there really
would be race fer the cup between
the Yank; and the Vikings, jest
wonder what side, fer instance, our
Mayor Sharlie Carlson would take.
The people in Atwater, ! should
jedge, must have been studying
Poor Richards Almanac Of late, fer
now they has passed a motion to
get up early, and have hired the en-
gineer at the mill to pull the
every mornin' at 6 o'clock.
Here's hopin' that the most of the
folks will live up to their resolu-
lion, but I'll bet 2 bits agin plug
Of tobacker that there'll be one or
two Of 'em as will merely roll over
and go to sleep agin.
#
Did you think that we had start
ed war with Canada last week?
Don't get excited! It's only the
deer hunting season that has opened
in the northern part of the state.
#
The president and forty-six gov
erners have been busy this week
rakin' their gray matter fer new
ways, of telling US why and what we
ought to be thankful for next
Thanksgiving day. Governor Brad
ford wrote out the first thanksgiv-
ing defamation in 1921. Since
then fer spell Of 286 years all the
and presidents have had
to make 'em every year. And in
SO much as none of 'em wants to
write one just like any as has been
writ before, | reckon it's gettin'
now to point where they've got
to use right smart enginueity and
have vocabularical profishancy.
Foot lake is frozen smooth as
glass. The glorious November
night is filled with the dancin',
frolickin' beams of the silver moon !;
the million stars reflect their twink
lin faces in the. mirrored ice;
and Cupid we'll, Cupid yes. By
gum, some of our confirmed batch
e|ors wouldn't take the hint if you
would hit 'em with brickbat.
#
l noticed that the Olivia Review
last week had in a long rippromand
to the young boys not to kill toads.
And in another column it ran Hamm
Brewing Company's ad. Consist
ency,. thou art scent collar but
ton.
Talking about jewels, my friend
King Edward over in London had a
pretty little birthday party last Sat-
urday and some of his subjects down
in South Africa, who had it in for
the old stiff, made him a present of
the biggest diamond in the world,
weighing 1.37 pounds and worth
So, 100000. And now poor Ed don't
know what to do with the thing no.
how. It's too heavy fer the queen
to carry on her crown, and too big
fer shirt stud. To use the gem
fer a door-knob wouldn't hardly be
'propriate, reckon, and fer the
king to wear it as a watch charm
would give him the springhalt, sure
as pop. He has got my heartfelt
sympathy, but hope he won't de-
eide to turn the junk over to me.
By the way, do you know I've laid
awake fer several nights lately fig
gering on what high pothenues
them jewel experts get at the value
of that ere above mentioned dia-
mond. To cut the thing up into
smaller pieces would reduce its val
.ue, they say, over one half cause
It would then no longer be the big
.gest diamond in the world. To
wear the stones fer jjewelry as big
as. it is, IS out Of the question,
except Of course maybe fer q Mig
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