New-York tribune., 1907-08-18
MR. AND MRS
HAvE JUST BEEN MARRIED.
THEY ARE ON THIS BOAT
PLEASE TAKE NOTICE OF THEM
KEEP SMILING

Many Of the busy chatterers at the head Of the
main stairway did not even glance at the card;
others threw it down in disgust as soon as they
saw what II was: the fewer number paid arrar.
ton 20 its directions For little woman th.
bride in question, the trip has been hopeessly
spoiled She cried herself i'll with mOrtifeato,
the first night on board and she and the BRIDE
groom. inoffensive. retiring young people they
seem 10 be. have slipped about the boat as |,
apologizing for existence Not until the spongs
had been applied by weeks distance from New
York did they appear to lose consciousness oy
the insult they had received We have heard q,
such performances in the country towns Of ths
Middle West. but always upon train which III.
unfortunate couple could leave at will Here
they condemned to pass nearly fortnight
in the company OF persons who bound ID
judge them by the class in which they appear To
have been mixing at home They win surely
try cultivate acquaintance OF differeu.
stamp upon their return Apart from the vul-
garty and the cruelty of the affair it has given
a bad impression of American manners to this
cosmopolitan crowd of passengers The episode
will be retailed dinner tables in London
Paris Rome Berlin and Vienna sample OF
the much Iauded American hUmor
There may be other brides and ordegrooms
on this boat. though no others have been mads
so abOminably conspicuous The best bred trav-
ellers are those whose nationality and occupa-
ton are not too easily discerned- We Americans
set out for Europe with the cheerful hope that
We shall not be mistaken for anything else.
How many of US will return with the stars and
Stripes carefully tucked out of sight in the
cheerful hope that shall be taken for some
thing else. may even pass for COsmOpOGtans.
The Kicker is a means of development in this
respect Though travelling a British
liner. he decidedly averSe 10 adapting himself
| TO the antiquated table manners OF Great BT1-
| tain, being of those who will receive 10 benefit
| from his foreign travel because he carries him
| self with him. Here are some samples Of his
| table talk:
Why don't they have the huILs taken OF the
| strawberries? My wife fixes them up for me in
| Christian fashion at home-sugar and cream
on EN-"
Must eat my soup with table spoon. stew
ard? What's this one across the top Cor? Des-
| sert? Well. I'm an able bodied man. and that
| forks enough FOR my pie. AS for taking both
knife and fork TO my fSh-wen- that's the
/ limit
| They're awfuIy stingy with their teaspoons
| on this bOat-afraid well pocket them for souve-
/ Mrs. I suppose. like the Christian Endeav0r-
| ers did last trip 1 can't get sight of ore except
| on my tea cup Daresay 1 don't need any more.
/ since all my vegeta bles have 10 go on the same
/ plate with my meat
| Steward, Bring me some butter. Great
/ Scott, This hasn't a grain of salt in IT, Where
/ did you say the tOothpicks were? What's the
| sense of putting them OFF on that sidebOard.
1 where a IciOW CdL ISdCH tllCil. NVtt- LAt't~
I old New YOrk's good enough for me-
4 Why then in the name of peace didn't he stay
/ there2 He takes some OF the zest from our
\ jaunt by his CeaSeless nagging at our steward
\ one of the most polite and patient on the b0a-
which Is saying a great deal Indeed. the man
ners of all the officials. from the captain down.
| are in striking contrast to those OF many or
/ their guests who vainIy gine that the
| making of complaints increases the importance
| of the complainer- Our bedroom steward toi1
| us that they have seldom had on board crowd
| so hard to satisfy this lot Of holiday makers
| on the fifth day nut. !. .S0O oranges were dean
| out To them. nearly half dozen apiece ana
| still they asked for more. so that a Few supply
| had TO be laid in at the Azores.
/ While we are on the wayworn subject OF tns
| manners of American tourists. the opinion u
/ the ships Italian doctor may be worthy Of note
/ He has had the temerity To assert that ltalfH
/ women do not firt that they are entirely SIN
cere when they show a young man as nlnCa .,
( favor these thOUghtleSS younS Ataer4c'%'-s '
/ constantly doing-fOr fun =
! Il see them walk up and down the deck arm
in arm and I say 10 myself. They are nfAceS'
/ those two. perhaps already married bdl -.
/ II is for the first time upon this boat that they
! have met"
The ship has been rolling quite bit doc'9E.
| II know: but at those times the hirtaton'
| care not much TO walk They are slfdAss -,
us the customs of Americans IN New 4ors
! see a man put his hand under the elbow q
the woman he walks with 10 help her step up
| on the curb at every crossing; the same mn @
| sits still in the and let's another woman
he chances not to know stand I'D IN 1Toh' -
him -
Not if she is old OF particularly good lookihs.
surely Don't you find our American sN'
pretty. dOctOr?" -.
! so so. But the dress-that is the most OF -
Should we in Italy women IN gowns -
lovely as some of these should say tI'.. -
| course they belong to an upper class Oh SUI
| The Americans cannot judge IN 'A'i- ""'>+
! How DO you Judge then. ,hs
! The doctor shrugged his shoulders tuIilsu -
| palms of his hands skyward in the apPi :,
i Continental fashion and gave an extra W. ,,,a
| his mustache as he replied: To be trahA--
! YOU Americans know several OF these 49, -
| women with the beautiful clothes cannot ps -
to the upper class in the United Sta.s9' -
| they chew gum. They are also dsIelii- -
obtain attention from every man WITHIN -. - =,
and they become rude. disagreeaole '-''
not receive it," ssrfll
| Poor doctor So it is part OF your O'
| duty to learn To fiiTt la Americana - NI
| 1t is So