Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1907-11-22

covered sleeping on wlne-Jag on the
sidewalk is sent home in an automo-
bile. That the difference.
! was shocked to learn that your
husband went hunting last Sunday, "
said the Reverend Mr.. Straightlace.
You would have been still more
shocked, . replied the offenders wife.
/ if You had heard what he said about
his luck. after arriving home"
George, she whispered softly.
mark yOnder breath of cloud, stretch
ing to the utmost part of the heavens
"a boundleSS, infinite sea of nothing
ness. Nothingness?' he echoed,
why. goodness, gracious, Emma.
there quart of rain in every square
| foot of that cloud.
OF course there was no reason for
financial alarm during the run on the
knickerbocker Trust Company of
New York recently. but you see how
quick banks in different parts of the
United States issued clearinghouse
certificates. And this in the days OF
Teddy and prosperity. Ugh!
\ TacOmaitc who is referred to as
the clown of the House.. " in Wash
iNgton, ID. c., declares William Jen-
nlngs Bryan to be the biggest liar in
the world, or words to that effect.
The Tacomaite's assertion proves be-
yOnd all doubt that Bryan hasn't "a
look in when Cushman is around.
c. NJ. Moore, the wise gazaboo,
who claimed he knew me, but assured
me in his letter published in the
STANDARD recently that he would not
tell the readers of this paper my true
name, simply lied. He, the champion
liar of all men whom | ever heard of,
will probably look before he leaps.
the next time.
A man can pay s. bottle for
wine, when away from home. laugh
and claim he is having a swagger
time. The same man, when his wife
asks for 10 cents to pay the milk bill,
upon his return home, throws four
fits, raves and storms at his wife for
being SO eXtravagant. Haven't you
seen these people?
AS substitute for spirits the Win
nebago Indians in Iowa make liquid
from the muscatcd bean which pro-
duccs Il blissful delirium at first, but
eliminates in the loss of speech, hear
ing and sight. Why the Indians take
the time and trouble to make this is
puzzle, when other stuff can be Sc
cured all ready made that will do the
work just as well.
That man who attempts to criti-
else the grammar of the oldest editor
on the Pacific Coast would construct
bold, bare faced lie about a man
whom he has never seen, met, nor
spoke to in his life, is to have the
readers Of the STANDARD conclude
that such a man is either insane or
else needs the assistance of the court
to teach him lesson.
Women dress very ridicuously,
said an Olympia man the other day,
as he watched his wife finish her
toilet. 1T is the fashion, William, ,"
she said pleasantly. Fashion be
hanged" said he, 1 would be super
ior to fashion if l were woman, and
wear nothing not useful" Five
minutes later he asked her to sew a
button ON the back of his coat.
For swinging monkey around his
head by its tail, Snowman in Phila-
delphia was sentenced to 29 days i'm
prisOnment. There are two-legged
monkeys in Olympia whom, if an able
bodied logger was to swing around
his head by their feet and drop such
in the bay, he should be given a new
canthOOk, shoes. mackinaw, blankets
and bottle of Wilson'S. That's
ALL"
The Alaskan Yukon Pacific expOsi-
tiOn should offer a medal for the best
liar in the world. am sure fellow
named Moore, who was famous in
Olympia for signing Push Dem
Clouds Away" in days that have
passed, and who is now sliding along
in the world selling soap in Portland,
would distance any other two-legged
animal who might enter for the
trophy.
Isn't it about time Hillman, the
Seattle real estate man and founder
of Boston Harbor, should give car
riage and automobile ride to his
admirers who have bought lots in
Boston Harbor, SO they can yell:
Hill-Hill,
Man, Man
Hillman
Real estate,
He's all right.
He's all right.
Ugh!
Ex-GOv. John II. McGraw, PreSi-
dent of the Chamber of Commerce,
in Seattle, says the East, during the
recent stock market manipulation by
Heinze and his associates, was in
debted to Mr.. Morgan for financial
assistance. When the East, West
North or South ever becomes in
debted to Morgan, outside of the
real cash, some one wants to ask
Morgan about it.
| ,,,:.l a.n A. Il =,