The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1907-02-18

by the way. your front gate needs
repairing. 1t was all I could do 10
get it open. You ought to have 1t
trimmed. or creased, or something"
Mr.. Edison laughed.
"Oh, no. he said. "Oh. no."
| "Why not?" asked the visitor.
Because" was the reply, every.
one who comes through the gate
pumps two buckets of water into ,ue
tank on the roof. Exchange.
! Rear Admiral Coghlan, commandant
If the Brooklyn navy yards, whose
reputation as a relator of good stories
has increaed each time he has spoken
at dinner, told a story a few nights
ago which was given TO Illustrate his
distaste for being the last speaker.
t"Having the last word" the rear ad
miral said, reminds me of a story /
heard not long ago 4 certain man
died and clergyman was engaged to
offer eulogy. The worthy minister
prepared sermon of exceeding length
and strength, but just before he en-.
tered the parlor to deliver it he
thought it might be advisable to learn
what the dead mans last words had
been. SO he turned to one of the
weeping younger sons and asked. My
boy, can you tell me your fathers
wards? He didn't have none, the
boy answered; ma was with him to
The end. KANSAS City Star.
There Is a story told, not by Barrie,
about an old reprobate weaver in
Thrums who lay dying and was visit.
ed by a minister.
Can | do anything for you, Thorn.
as, to help comfort you in this try.
ing hour? viii you let me offer
prayer on your behalf?"
ma, a dinna believe in prayers"
'Will you permit me to read you a
chapter of the Word of God?"
Ma, ma, dinna want any chapter"
Then, Thomas, is there nothing l
can do to tighten the gloom for your
departing spirit?"
well, minister. as you are sac will
lin to help me, ye micht get up lit
4 tie argument. think that micht help
me ia slip away easy. Automobile
Magazine.
| The owner of fine estate we pass
ed on our automobile tour was
an eccentric lawyer whom the peo
pie used to speak of, behind his back,
as Bags" on account of a habit he
had of carrying his law papers in
green bag. One day he came upon a
man trespassing on his land and wehi
for him, trying to turn him back.
GO to- said the men, you'll be
one of old Bags gamekeepers. I'm
going through the near cut
You're wrong said the owner of
the place, I'm old Bags himself, and
| If you don't get out quick I'll put the
law upon you. u."-Automobile Maga.
zine.
During our last election | listened
to colored man who was trying to
swear in his vote. He had friend
along as witness.
rs this man related to you?" asked
the Judge
Yes, sab" .......
I'm what way is he related to you?"
continued the judge.
His wife do ma washn', sah."-
Automobile Magazine.
-
Senator Cullom vas about to step
into his carriage at the capitol tne
other day when he stopped and looked
at the horses critically. John" he
said to the coachman, I'VE have got
to do something for these horses.
They are too thin. They are out of
condition. Why, | was noticing Sec.
retary Taft's horses the other day,
and they are nice and big and glossy
and fat Deed, boss" broke in
the coachman, looking at the thin fig
ure of Senator Cullom, I'VE don't need
no such horses to haul us as Mr..
Taft does, nohow. Kansas City
Star.
-
The superintendent of streets in |
Cleveland recently summoned to his
presence an Irish officer, to whom he |
said; 1T Is reported to me that there |
is a dead dog in Horner street. |
want you to see to its disposition" |