davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-04
~
Mind MeandorIn,ooI.. 7.

No eOs should judge the wardsa ei
q jail By the company ho kooDs.
II Onioas DO not make you nloeD. lE1,
lettuce. II this does no 0ood, o9sa&
your wife and abe VIII tam yea inta
the aru1s Of Morpheus.
In . divorce case Toeoatly aAoao
Island Witness sWorO that the WiE0
was insane and acted O0oogly when
aAs VaB with her. "As 70 what cAe
did at ether tines 60 net know. I
never was with her Whoa 6he was
aloneI"
In japan women arrange thoir AAir
90 that q person can tell at one0
whether any woman u q mAldoS VAo
dosireG to get married or q Vt6oW
who is inooRSelahlo q oas We 70
willing TO be oonHolsd Il tAO pVoe0g
suitor presents himself. Young glEis
arrange the hair IN treat Il The form
Of q fan or butterfly and a1eya e with
silver or oolored OrHanOats; VidoWD
who are looking fer soooad husbands
faston thO hair at the hask 6 the
head by means Of toRtSise-6ho1I R,As.
and widows who ave resolved - FO-
main forever faithful 70 their departed
spousOs cut the hair sAoFt aAd wear
no oEnAm0nts IN 4. Ne oustoa njghe
be adopted In America. l never "a
like short hair 60 Q woman. QpyepYd
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-04
Dr.. Piercs's FaYofite Prescription

Is powerful, inyigorating tonic, impart-
ing health and strength In particular
% the organs distinctly feminine. The
LOCAL. Womanly health Is so intimately
related 70 the general health that when
diseases OF the delicate womanly organs
are cured the whole body gains In health
and strength. For weak and sickly
women who aro uWofn-out,P urnn- down >
OF debllitated, especially for women who
work In store, Office or schoolroona, who
flt at the typewriter or sewing machine,
or bear heavy household burdens, and for
nursing mothers, DR.. Pierce's Favorite
prescription has proven priceless
eeleht because OF its health restoring
end strengt giving powers.
as soothing and Strengthening nerv-
me. sFavorite Prescription Is un-
equaled and Is invaluable in aIlaying and
eubduing nervous excitability, iTritabil-
iey. nervous exhaustion nervous prostra-.
Hon, neuralgia. hysterla, spasms, chorea,
OF bt. Yitnss dance, and other distressing
nervous symptoms commonly attendant
upon functional and organic disease Of
the w0manly organs. It Induces refresh
ing sleep and relieves mental anxiety and
despondency.
Cures obstinate cases. rFavorIte Pre-
scription Is positive cure for the most
complicated and obstinate cases OF Efe-
male Weakness" painful periods, lrreFu-
larlties, prolapsus or falling Of the pelvic
organs, weak back, bearing down sensa-
tons, chronic congestion, Inflammation
aud alteration.
Dr.. Pierce's medicines sre made from
harmless but efficient medical roots
found growing in our American forests.
The Indians knew of the marvellous cura-
tive value of some OF these roots and i'm
parted that knowledge 70 some of the
friendlier whites, and gradually some OF
the more progressive physicians came to
test and use them, and ever since they
have grown in favor by reason Of their
superior curative virtues and their safe
and harmless qualities
Your druggists sell the FAvoRrrR PRE-
JcRIPTIoN" and also that famous aitera-
tive, blood purifier and stomach tonic, the
aGoLDEN MEDICAL DISCOVERY" Write
to DR.. Pierce about your case. He Is an
experienced physician and will treat your
case as confidential and without charge
for correspondence. Address him at the
Invalids' Hotel and Surgical Institute,
Buffalo, n. Y, of which he is chief CON.
Bulting physician.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-04


The man who wears fountain pen
and always puts 1t in hia pocket right
side up. is too methodical ever to
amount to much.
Whenever man feels that there 10
nothing in life for him. he should
start guinea-pig ranch.
A successful family tree should not
be shady.
A young man wants to know swheth.
er he should marry q sensible or q
beautiful girl. When he falls in love.
he won't stop to ask fool questions.
My ONCE boy got black eye the
hrst time he went to his grandmoth-
eF's funeral this spring. One of Lind
aman'S hot foul tips. / suppose.
Sometimes a barber makes many
cutting remarks.
Water will make q barrel ughtl
A man who carries ton Of coal up
three flights Of stairs, seldom kicks
on short weight.
A wise man never marries q lin.
guist. Being scolded In one tongue ID
sufficient for the ordinary citizen.
There is no &c" class in school
for the blind.
The unmarried sisters Of o wife
who supports the family by washing,
are always in great matrimonial de-
mand.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-04
strummlnao.

OtTuHlUlin8U.
Life 10 too short to waste time
throwing stones at curs.
The best balm for an aching heart
is, the effort to soothe another that
aches.
A man may lie by actions quite AZ
much az by words.
a man with q torpid liver couldn't
gee beauty with microscope.
AS rule. homely woman is a good
cook.
There In NO reason why man In the
asbestos business should not pray.
Now aren't you sorry for finding
fault with those cool April daysl
The world Is surely growing better.
Ny wife paid only seventeen cents
for dozen ot.fresh eggs yesterday.
1t never pays to hurry onward
when you are on the wrong road
An hour spent with good lively
dog is worth two spent in morosO
loneliness.
Do not be looking-glas into which
your friend may case and see himself
a. he really iS. II you do. you will
lose his friendship. There 10 an old
saw that says, Our true friends are
those that tell US our faults" but few
successfully have praoticed It's ad.
vice.
Every small boy should remember
that sister IL nice thing to have
just 70 take cake away from, II for
nothing else.
When a man marries n woman for @
mate and shs turns out TO be q skip.
per. he may as we'll make up his mind
that he has been cruising in doceivinR
waters.
Taxpayers have the right to pay
taxes, anyhow.
The wages Of sin are not regulated
by union.
AS 4 rule men do not particularly
admire speaking doli-and yet, quite
frequently. they marry one.
When your worries hRrass you, put
them in trunk and sit on the lid.
When boy pads the back Of his
stomach with newspapers. 1t is q sure
sign that the voodshsd wiz be the
scene Of action when, father arrives.
Chief Wtlks. Of the gever1meat1
secret service. says thsy don't
use whiskers in running down Grim.
inals. The dime novelist always sends
out his sleuth disguised By q beard
like that worn BY Frederick Barbaros,
"a. but In real life. Mr.. Wilkio says
the government doesn't hide behind
an integument Of this character. In
fact. he says. there are but two be
whlskered individuals In the service
and neither Of these 10 IN Washing.
ton One of them. western member
visited New York not long ago and
had his watch stolenl This Is taken
as fresh evidence that false facea
false boards. false top-knots aud falss
halos are impractical In the capture
Of criminals.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-04
Comment.

The practice ground OF 4 baseball
field ID 4 poor place for a man wear.
ing silk hat
When = man goes out to look for
trouble and comes home with black
eye. further proof that he found what
he went after Is not needed.
Some business men seem to 90 on
the presumption that thin Ice is safe
II you skate fast enough.
You can turn base metal into gold
by corneriAg the market on base
metal.
When the baby swallows q dime
just remember that he has q birthday
coming soon, anyhow
When q young man won't let 4
young woman look at his watch. she is
cafe in assuming that It is not her pio-
ture In the case.
Even the bee wouida't work 20 hard
II he knew the man intended 70 rob
him Of his honey.
In his lecture on Jamaica q we'll
known lecturer tells Of visiting z ma
tive cAne-miH whore the Juice from the
sugarcane-wR being boiled TO sugar.
The trayoler noted that aiss and bees
were being boiled down alonG with.
the juice. He spoke to the owner
about 1t and the owner replied that the
bees were full Of honey and that the
dies fed on the sugar about the camp.
hence he was merely getting back
much Of the crude product that had
eeeu stolen. Have another lump of
sugar IN your coffee this morning?
He also spoke Of natives Of the Paaa.
ma country and queer custom they
have. He noticed the men were busy
chewing somethlng as they worked.
A closer Inspection showed Il TO be
cocoanut. After chewing q mouthfui
for q time, each native would walk
over to a big kettle and throw the
residue into the rocOptao1o. Upon In
qulry. he learned that the natiyes
were Eeiag to have cocoanut dump.
Hngs fore diansF. Te this union
chewod pulp they added Aour and
meat. serving the mess hot. Cocoa
nut dunplings are very good. 1t is
said. but he denio! samplfng the diGh.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-04
ErllIs.


The face of woman is the drug.
gists fortune.
II the hardest winter "reminiscences
are all In. We win now hav1 spring.
That is, we will hope that we VIII now
have spring!
Except for the lack of Noah, the ark.
a dove and an olive branch, we had a
Biblical happening repeated out In
our town yesterday. The Hood broke
up three sitting hens ia the press club
colony and filled the lake so full of
suds that 1t stopped when wild duck
hit it hard In descending. To cap the
climax, all the fresh paint was washed
OF our new sprinkling wagon. Darn
flood, anyhow!
The street-car hog is anxiously
awaiting the opening of the end-seat
season.
To remove dandellons from the
lawn. rub liniment freely on your
back and hire small boy with a
chisel and pail 10 do the work.
Which side of the hill is the hill side
on?
Every cloud may have a silver lin.
ing, but that is no reason why you
shouldn't carry an umbrella.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-04

West Virginia headquarters are COM
lete and ready for the guests Of July
Z: when the formal opening Of the
building will take place, and West vIr-
mia day ceremonies OF an appropriate
ature will be participated In by Gov
nor W. NJ. o. Dawson and his stan,
;her distinguished residents Of the
ate, Governor Swanson Of Virginia.
ccretary OF the Treasury Corteiyou
nd number Of members Of the ex-
osltlon company.
West Virginia day Will be commemo.
ted at a very seasonable time. as It
III nllow visitors who attend the fair
that time an opportunity to witness
.e magnificent naval parade and
'ourth of July celebration. Largely
Or this reason this date was decided
Don instead OF June 20, the anniver.
airy of the day when the new domain
was formed.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-04
Lowell, Got His whaeks.

In his volume on the practice Of dl.
plomacy John W. Foster relates an IL
Eliminating anecdote concerning James
Russell Lowell when he was our min
lister at Madrid. At q royal reception
Minister Lowell. in plain evening dress,
was preceded up the palace stairway
by q minister from Central America.
gorgeously appareled. wearing jew
eled sw4rd, who was saluted at each
landing by the magnificent halberdier
with heavy whack of the battle Ak on
the marble pavement As Mr.. Lowell
wore no insignia OF Office. he received
no attention. At last his patriotic
blood boiling, he addressed the halber
dier in excellent Spanish, "Do you
know who I amf" az don't" 'twell,"
said Mr. lowell, al am the minister
plenlpotentiary. OF the United States of
America, the greatest nation on earth,
and II you don't whack the next time
1 pass you will forget you at Christ
masw And the halberdler whacked
thereafter as directed
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-04
! E||}El!EE!!|HI A E!I
aySrf IVCLEN
copyrLaht. i9ol: by byron wllllsma.

Triumph.
I % net love to triumph a. Of yoFo
When triumph means to spike my foe.
Or when. to rise upon the ladders TuRG.
have to disregard his woe!
The 10y OF triumph At the cost OF team
To him who tainted In the fight.
u turned to rsncer In my bleeding heart
And prowess gains no balm for might!
All. nte Is lived too much like climbing
hills
Upon the fovsred heads we ken.
Too much upon the scheme to reach the
Upon the bleeding hearts of msai
And Fame too oft Is but the mountain
That lifts one far beyond the cry
OF those who struggle in the ditch BE-
And then ne down. alone. to dlol
! love the triumphn may share With
The triumphs that his love unfurisd-
The prizes that in Brotherhood and Love
May sooths the heartaches Of q Werldl
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-04
oMENs AND MoNARcHs.
incidents That Have Attended Certain
English Coronationa.

incidents That Have Attended Certain
English coronations.
0mens should be regarded seri-
ously by monarchs if there is truth
in the stories of incidents that have
attended the coronations of certain
English kings. The wearing of
white, for example, on such an occa-
ton is said to have been particular
ly fatal. Alone of all the British
soyereigns Charles l. was robed in
white at his coronation. The chron-
iclers say that this happened purely
by accident. When the ill fated
prince formally assumed the crown
in 1925 it CHANGED that all the pur-
pie velvet at the time to be found in
London was not sufficient to supply
q robe, and there was no time to
send to Genoa or elsewhere for
more.
Long years before the coronation
Of the second of the Stuart kings
misfortunes had been predicted for
q white king of England, and surely
no mans life ever more fully bore
out such a prediction. White fol-
loved the unlucky Charles even to
the grave. After the dethroned
kings execution on that cold JAN
uary day in 1649 as his body was
brought out from St. Georges hall
the snow began to fall, and before
the coffin reached the west end of
the royal chapel the black velvet
pail was covered with purest white
from frozen flakes.
Unfortunate signs and portents
also attended the coronation of
James II. The wind was light, yet
the canopy which was held over the
kings head by the Cinque Port
barons was found to be torn, and
the flag which was run up on the
tower at the moment of coronation
was soon afterward seen hanging in
tatters.
The most portentous omen of all,
however, attended the coronation of
George III, in whose reign Britain
sustained her greatest disaster-the
loss Of the American colonies. 1t is
curious how this disaster was pre-
symbolized at the coronation. As
the king was moving across the alb
bey floor wearing the crown the
great diamond fell out and was not
found again without good deal of
trouble.-scrap Book.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-04
Copyrieht: 1901, BY Byron willIanas.

He Heritage.
doE-Gone the Luck. 1 doan't c why ::
I kant have clothes thato Newi
Whenever am Busted cut
mosat anything will dol
mi Ma she bringu suit OF Diiis
with Patches on thee sect
and HandS 'em u0 fer NE . ware
I never seen thee beet.
then Father he takes W!liysm down
and Bys him avl New thinGR-
this Heriig fTum brutheF Bin
is Eittin' tut. by Gingsl ~
and Yesterday SHE sod to mo. "a
"Yew've got on Wnlyum'g cote t@
and itS Big fer yow, tee heel" ~
Then sumthing in mi Throte "
cum up and chokod me awful hard Il
and Maid me giSt as Sad ~
didn't think thee girl loved e
could B SO awful bad! NE
I'll Show her what Q boy kin DO III
when he gifts Growed and tall Y
I'll wed Princess Slim and Fare
and take her to thee Bawl
and II 5HE's there and seas ns wed
she'll moarn her awful Fate
But that won't help thee thing ct aW
BkawB II IL . latel
thot SHE lived fer Me alone
and Loved Ne fer Miseif LA
despite thee cote upon mi Back ~
or other Worldly. pelfi saH
But now, ALAS. find that she 2sa,
is Ffkul thee corr 4
tell yew shall gree thee day
when Bib doan't grow no mcroi A
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-04
DoInao u tho Noble Red Men.

bOtUHU u tup Noolt nO4 Mlus
A talented Indian correspondent a
the Athens (Mioh.) Times turni5hsS
the following interesting itSms Of
news:
Adam shipman. Indian oS Canada
here last summer 70 camp meeting.
said lots snow. Cannot work no more
on Sugar bosts factory there.
Indian boys now have gone TO near
JappG to cut wood for John Hotaon.
Some Of those Indians arO getting
ready 70 start this week to cut tie
wood. They build wigwans nov
whero to stay this winter. n Whits
man in Athens he stop selling cider
to make them drunk. Indians wiz 90
well. !
Tho cd chisf shaw-bsKoIng Of
Bradley hs die last week. IndIeaS
said ho vas ever 80 years old. He
was Q wall known In Michigan. He
was Q chief at Bradley In1lan Mis-.
aion. We updoEStand indians at Brad.
ley they want appoist anOtbor new
man On OLD QAjef's PlA9O-0hsv-bo.
Koing. He did not ADyR n children,
no boyeO. ~
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-04

Any man can be millionaire II he
has the money.
A bald-headed man is happy a. long
az he has three hairs to spread around
on hiS Sky-pieca.
What about the Belf.mado Vomani"
asks an exchange. She is married to
the man whose father left him good
business and sense enough to take
care Of 1t.
Rich men frequently leave more 70
their lawyers than II mentioned in
their Wills.
When q man goes away for rest and
change. ho may get the rest. but he
will como homo with less change than
hs had before he went on his yacs-
ton.
An artist who cannot paint q good
picture on q piece Of canvas might
make good awning OF the canvas.
1t 10 hard luck for q wife whom she
at last succeeds In getting her hus.
band to accompany her 10 church, to
nnd upon leaving that someone has
taken his new "a straw hat and left
q 15-cont straw lid in Its place1
One swallow may not make q ssna-
mer, but enough Of them will put you
IN condition whero you won't care.
Sometimes whom father tries to
get q daughter of his hands he gets
q soD-in-lav to put on his feet
It Is hard to be q humorist In q
hot city ofice without an electrical
fan.
A Wisconsin exchange tells Of q
man who IL "lllegible for the once Of
Gheriff." Folks "oughtsr" write plain.
o.. that's fact.
Old steers are not profitable. re-
member that.
A bad egg amongst the good ones
will soon spoil the others.
The sheep raiser who lets the old
animals accumulate on his hands is
losing money.
Stir a half gallon Of flour paste into
gallon of whitewash, and 1t will not
rub OF easily.
Oats not corn for the work horses,
remember that, is oats make muscle
and corn makes fat.
Alfalfa chOrrld ha i,,C
begins to show bloom. The first cut
ting contains more protein than later
cuttings.
Cornmeal into which has been
stirred small quantity of oil meal
uncooked is the best kind Of food for
hog fattening.
That dragged out feel may not be
good for you but 1t is good for the
road. Give it good dose and you
will feel better.
Rotation of crops together with thor.
ough cultivation operates as an effec.
tive fertilizer, especially If some stable
manure is used.
Have the wrench attached to the
plow or other implement by strap or
wire so that it will not be dropped
and lost in the field.
Emerson said, let man learn that
everything in nature, even notes an
feathers, goes by law and not by lucIl
and that what he sows he reaps. R. 4
member that.
TO cock hay in the field for drying
every forkful should be laid snugly
not rolled-on the heap by itself.
Then the cock will be In flakes and
will shed the rain we'll.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-04

Here is what a western hog raiser
has to say concerning the up-to-date
hog: He comes in the early spring
time and gains at the rate Of one and
a half to two pounds per day. He is
finished hog and ready for the mar
ket by December. He is often a mar.
ket topper. for he is plump and full
of the right kind OF meat"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-04
Queer Court Record.

Several years ago Mrs. Schoenberg.
q wealthy widow living near Indepond.
onee. Mo-, died. She was known to
have made q win. but DO amount Of
search would reveal It. Later the
family accidentally discovered that
the will had been written on Q dy-
leaf IN her Bible. They did not de-
sire to mutilato tho book, Do they OF.
ferod 1t Tor probate. and the estate il
now being settled according TO The
terms set down. The book will be-
come part Of ths o@Oial records Of the
probate ooaEG
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-04

Nuts and fruits exported from this
country during eight months ended in
February amounted to S14.926.760;
over one.third as much as the wheat
exports amounted to and almost as
much as the value Of the beef exports.
for which this country is famous
Have you part In this splendid de.
velopment of the fruit and nut grow.
ing industry?
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-04

Have any of the experiment stations
ever attempted to measure the effect
Of harsh word or blow upon the
profit OF a dairy animal? Animals
which live in an atmosphere of fear
never can or will return the profit
which is to be realized from those
who only know the cheery word and
the encouraging pat Of the hand
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-04
PIa Had Malls In Him.

From e WostOrn paper we learn that
bill Wilson IS suffering with Q very
painful hA1d and arm. caused By run
ning q ruBty nall In tho back OF his
haad While catching 4 Pig last Nou-
day. The arm IL badly swollen aud
the case 10 quito serious. bat Il b do
ing quite nicely now" Kust have
been Q plElron pig.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-04

By the way. how is your calendar
scrap book getting on? You ought to
be adding to It and you ought to be
Jogging your memory from the clip
pings and memoranda you have put
therein.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-04

It has been figured out by some ex.
pert that an acre of peach trees will
in ten years use 49o pounds of nitro
gen. 125 pounds of potash, 400 pounds
of phosphorie acid and 73o pounds OF
lime. II this means anything 1t means
that fertilizing and cultivation are a
heavy factor in successful peach cul.
ture.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-04
plsa 70 obIIoe Friend.

A London furniture dealer who com
mitted suicide left q note explaining
that he had done 90 because a friend
Of his had asked him.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-04
Heavy Star.

DLost-a black bull calf with a
white star in his forehead weighing
about 13 pounds Anyone knowing the
whereabouts of this animal will be
literally rewarded by notifying the
owner.-H. A. Hanks.-Kansas News.
naper.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-04
smannnt entted plan..

German women collect what are sup
posed to be the smallest potted plants
In the world They are cactf growing
in pots about the size Of a thimbIe.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-04

Many farmer who is not content to
let the weeds find roothold on his
farm, is letting the weeds Of many
bad habit and ill-temper thrive In his
life. Weed out the bad. SOW tho
good seed, cultivate diligently and
thou shalt reap a wholesome harvest
of contentment and happiness. and
thy neighbors and thy friendB will
rejoice with thee In the good work
wrought
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-04
Imaalnatlon and Feet.

: Some men Imagine they were born
great and later on achieved fresh
crop Of greatness.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-04

Here is point for the housewife to
remember when sweeping the carpet
Put little kerosene upon salt and
then scatter over the carpet and
sweep. The dust will come up better
and not injure the carpet.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-09-04

Several professors in the Utah agri-
cultural college have resigned owing
to the action of the legislature of the
state in abolishing engineering from
the course Of study. They felt It was
backward step.