Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1907-03-28
cred" CLARK AND THE INSTITUTE
KNOX CALDWELL.
BY KNOX CALDWELL.

cause you wouldn't believe it anyhow
But, as sure as my name Is Red
Clarke, they put me in a little room
way up near the roof, that didn't have
any windows in 1t and all padded, like
the pants them football boys wear,
then locked the door. Well, that was
more like home than anything I'd
found so far. so / lay down on the
floor and went to sleep.
81 hadn't been asleep more than five
minutes before guy opened the door,
stuck his head in and yelled: Say, do
you want a drink | rolled over,
punched myself to see If was awake
Sure, yelled, and he handed me in a
big pint cup. l was so thirsty that l
never discovered what / was drinking
until it was all down. Then | began
to taste it. Red pepper. salt, all kinds
of dope in hot water. Gee, but want
ed drink of whisky bad to drown
that mess.
I'm about half an hour, one of the
husky porters opened the door. Say,
pardner,' | says to him, is there any
place around here dying man can
get drink Sure thing says he.
I'll bring you one myself You'll be
the whole thing with me IL you do
answered, and at that, he trotted off
! downstairs and came back with a
pitcher. This time, took look be-
fore took drink. Nothing but the
same old dishwater.
az don't believe I'm thirsty said
I, looking at the pitcher. l wasn't a
bit.
go! yes you are said the lad, and
I'll be switched If he didn't make me
drink the whole mess.
After that l laid down and tried to
go to sleep. Sleep? Do you think
they'd let me sleep? Not on your
picture. Woke me up every hour.
First pill as big as a baseball, then
/ another pitcher Of dishwater, then an
other pill till-on the level-I felt like
rain barrel full of marbles.
Then them two husky porters got
an idea in their heads that l needed
hot baths. Every time one or the
other thought of 1t, they'd lead me
down to the bathroom and--splash-
1t was me to the tub.
We'll, after a week of starvation
and hot baths and pills and sea water,
found that l wasn't pining for a
drink any more. All l wanted was a
square meal, and / wanted that awful
bad. So, one morning after I'd gone
all over the floor on my hands and
red-nosed boss came in. l gave him a
heart to heart talk about being half
starved, and he finally promised to
send me up something to eat that
night.
Say, couldn't keep STILL was so
tickled. l just sat around and held on
to my stomach all afternoon for joy.
Six o'clock came, but no supper.
Seven oclock-still hungry. Finally,
when | was getting desperate, in came
one of the porters with a big bowl of
milk. Well, what I didn't do to that
milk isn't worth mentioning.
We'll, after that, they kind of let
up on the hot baths and other pleasan.
tries and inside of a week | was sit.
ting up to the table consuming vic.
tuals like prairie fire. Want a drink
Well | should say not All | wanted
was something to eat. When the red.
nosed gazabo saw that, he put my
name on the roll of honor and they let
me do about as pleased
For couple of weeks | lounged
around smoking good cigars and eat
ing four good meals day at Mrs. De
Falderors expense and shaking hands
with Percy, in my mind of course, for
the good thing he'd put me next to.
"One day l was sitting contentedly
on the porch with my feet on the rail
putting away at fat Regalia, when ]
heard a carriage drive up to the front
door and stop. There was a rustic
of silk skirts and a scraping of feet
and then, through the window, heard
a squeaky female voice asking to see
Mr. Percy De Crassweller. | saw my
finish there If didn't fade away. Sc
| just hooked on to a hat and coat
that was lying there on the porch
jumped over the railing and in ter
minutes was in street car bound fol
town. That's how the water wagon
happened to stop at my house" con
cluded Red as he raised the glass Of
milk on high, land here's how But I'm
dog'goned if l wouldn't like to be pres
ent when Mrs. De Nabob and the Hon
, orable Percy hold their family re
union. can't say, however, that
have any especial longing to be IL
= Percys boots then or thereafter"
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