Sequachee Valley news. (Sequachee [Sequatchie], Tenn.) 1896-1952, 1907-08-08
NE AM MANDY"
TRUE ACCOUNT OF HOW THE HON. FEB
TANGLEF0OT GRADUATED IN
FOOTBALL.

may call hit nthoosiast l-but |
ain { hit naow, and rayther 'spect
thar will be sew raj craps Nv acorns
growed afore / will resoom enthoosi-
asm on the subject. An hit all kun
erbout en- this a way.
Me and Mandy, -thet's my wife, -
ther humble pardner nv my joys an
sorrers, -mosly sorrers er argu-
flying Their other day es tn ies' haow
much fun thar wuz in er game nv
football, and l told her that hit wuz
Their grandest game ever diskivered,
and the most excitin an tibet thar
wuz shore more fun in hit then in
rollin' stones daown er mountain jest
ter see EN- bump therselfs ter death,
MASKING Their timber inter flinders.
"Naew, Zeb, says Mandy, sorter
sniffin' contemchuously. Il amt seed
er football game an | amt goin ter
let on tibet hit can beat stone rollin'
until / kin see hit y
"Wall, Mandy" says |. I'D jest
like ter show yer, but seein' es you air
Jest er woman, and can't get nobody
ter play the game with me in an up
ter-date style so es ter show yer, | rec
kon you'll hav ter wait until Their next
time them Chattanooga boys Gums
daown ter play the boys in Saouth
Pitchburg, an we will shore take hit
in. y
"Naow, Zeb don't yeu go ter 'poler-
giving erbout me being er woman fer
| kin whip emmy wildcat en-. this settle
ment, an yeu know hit an d'y reckon
I'm feard ter try We spell er ten?
Bring on yer foot ball an see if | can t
give yer er game, amt that what
they call hitr'
Mandy" says |, sorter solemn like
and mournful, jest es the preacher
does when he is plantin sumbuddy
81 amt Their one ter discourage er
beginner, but guess yer will wish yer
hadn't and may yer live ter see ever
lastin' repentance. And / went aout
ter the corn field and selected or pun
kin tibet wuz ther right shape fur Ell
football, and brought hit to the house
whar Mandy wuz er-waiting in joyful
eagerness ten begin the sport. The
punkin wuzn't much good ter kick
abaout, but es we wuz goin' ter kick
it by carryin' hit jes' es them fellers
did, an hit want nuthin' but Oh
practice game nohow, sorter reckoned
hit would do.
Aout in front of the haouse wuz one
nv the purtiest chip yards you ever
seed, with the chips er lyin' all nice
an level, an 1 marked off ten gold'
les es | seed EN- deu hit down at the
settlement, and then said teu Mandy
'Naow, you take this yer football
-
"Hit amt no football, hits er pun
kin, +" said Mandy.
"Shaw, Mandy" ses l, ''yeu go
teu sorter use Inauguration in thi
yer game. "
"Naow, Zeb, l don't want any Car
RE Nation hyah," says she.
II don't nuther," says I, "bu
you We got teu make believe this is e
football as we hain't got the genuooin
artickle, and you ev got teu hold tn
ball this away-in yer arms so-an
buck center
'Buck center2" says Mandy, sorte
wonderin'.
Eyes" ses I, you've got ter G
straight erhead, with the ball, an
if any thing is in the way you've GO
ter try to dislocate its necktie
''Sorter like billygoaty' asks Man
! dy.
: you bet yer. (" says l.
t "Waal, I shore kin deu that" say
she, IAN don't suppose hitmakes Ell
ny difference where I buckr'
mo" says I, "leter go gallagher !!
! Wall, Mandy sorter splits on er hands
and sorter careless like grabs up tn
punkin, and first thing 1 now'd, WI
or cumin' at me er rip snortin' sol
ter, braced myself es Mandy cum el
tearin' with her yaller hair er fiyin
an her eyes, er rollin, an the punk
5 almost er winkin ter see the fun, an
LATED ter myself ter think haow
would make her think she had struck {
rock er a tree, er the hind leg NV {
muel. Jes' as she got ter me she sort,
bent her head and shoulders, som,
thing like Squire Parsons old bill,
n goat, an butted me in the center u
the stummick, and l felt as if er pi
driver had struck me. an almost cou
see stars in that settlement. But
8 rekivered enough ten grab her arouI
the waist, and we jes' swaggled ov
the whole yard, an the chips wuz e
hyin' and the ROSTERS were er-squa
lin an er climbin' the fence, and Il
calf wuz er-scamperin' away with hi
/. tail elevated forty leven degrees !
poles, in the air. An we wrastled a
wrastled, an the punkin got mash
in the first round, an quarter sec
ion NV hit wuz plastered over one I
: my eyes and then Mandy grabbed 1
= by the hair and jobbed another secti,
inteu the tother eye, an still we wrs
= tied and wrastled. An after a bigg
. wrastle than ever, which so brighten