Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1907-09-25
SHORT STORIES

a Ilnncr on board his yacht re volution
sad Of q certain mOOtcd mining reform:
| "OE, yes, it would be a good thing if
it could BE- done, but there is no posi-
bic way to do it. Ask these reforiners
how they are going to put their ideas
IN operation, and they give you answers
that are about as practical as the little
| boys method Of catching the mule.
| There was once, you know, mule
in large field that refused to be
| caught by its owner Round and
round the field the mule gallopcd. The
owner tore along behind, red and angry.
swinging a halter in his hanl and
Swearing passionately.
| 1.-The mule would let him draw near.
almost near enough to throw the halter
over its head; then it would kick up it's
legs mcrrily and run away like the
| wind.
"A boy, his face wreathed in smiles,
watched the unequal chase for an hour,
| or 50. Then he entered the field and
said:
"Tll tell YOU how to catch that mule
mister, if you'll give me a nickel
Alright painted the man. Here's
your nickel. Now, tell me-
Get behind that thick hedge over
there said the boy, and make a noise
like q carrot"
Passenger Manager w w Jefferics
of the International Mercantile Marine
was discussing in New York the other
day the record breaking army of tour
lists that is now returning from Europe.
''rhc size and The OpulenCe of this
IL re-
we'll for our grand country'S prosperity.
The people arc bringing back many
things with them from abroad And the
men are bringing back. among other
things, some good stories.
"a Chicagoan told me yesterday Of
an incident that happened in High
land inn.
In the smokcroom Of the inn the
Chicacoan complained that he very
much regretted his inability to speak
Scotch.
"'Hoots. mon said tho pretty. rosE-
chez ked barnaid. 'nc'cr mind that 50
long as We can sWallcr it
AS the Adriatic plowcd her way
through soft blu" summer seas. 4 group
of tourists in the smoking room talked
Fire in a thratcr is bad thing too"
said clyde Fitch. the famous drama
ti>t: yet it has its funny side.
II remember an incident that hap
pened in Concord. The william in q Con-
cord mclodrama. as he lighted his
cigarette. SET newspaper ablaZe, and
a great fire scare arose.
amid tn" scare. as the panicstrickcn
audience struggled and hoWlcd and |
fought. a fat man gallopcd up to the |
box office and shouted in an angry and |
accusing voice:
'Thcatcr's afire. Gimmic me money |
back"
"Thc late Robert Pinkerton Of the |
great detective agency" said 4 Chicago |
detective, was a religious man. and ne |
liked nothing better than to listen to |
a Z I'D, liberal. intelligent sermon.
lie WAS once talking to n" about |
the change for the Settcr that has
come over American sermons in the
past ten or twenty years He said |
sermons were Gcntlcr than they used |
to he. They no longer rocked of lire
ana brimston"
Once" he said. he heard q famous
evangelist preach in San Francisco.
The evangelist shocked his congregation |
4 good deal. He told them that his |
had been a good and NOR
al woman. but that she had never pro-
tossed religion, ana therefore he was
confident that at that moment the aged |
lady was suffering eternal torment
"A young man aroS" at this, and with |
a look of disgust started for the door.
The evangelist pointed an accusing !
finger at him.
:" There is Young man he cried,
who is also on the downward path
'Th" Young man turned. His face
was very red. But he smiled pleasant
~. and said, in a loud. pleasant voice.
Is there any message l can take to
your grandmother sir%"
Two women were passing the White
House. One was quick stepping and |
while her older and stouter
companion seemed inclined to consider
ncr weight, and drag. The vivacious
woman was talking a blue streak, on a
scale known outside OF rhetoric. What
she said before the person behind got
within car distance or what she said
lttcrWard only the stout woman could
tell. but this was her subject in hand
turing the two minutes that the third
Dcrson enjovcd the benefit of her con-
vers&ticn: "Do YOU know why spar
rows hop instead of walk? Well. I'll
tell you. Once on time they had
quarrel with the flies and agreed to
arbitrate. The flies charged that the
'parroWs stole rice from the fields. 50
he umpire without waiting for the
'ther side Of the story ordered the
'parrows to be beaten on their legs I'M
il they hoped up and down with
pain. Then the sparrows got their
innings. They complained that the
lies woke ncopl" up too early in The
mornings. 50 the umnire ordered the
lies to be beaten. The flies began ia