Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1907-12-09

"Where is your father" asked the
caller "Down in the pigpen." an
swered the son of the house. HE has
a hat on."-Llppincott's.
Down to the Norman conquest the
Britons had Giving money" and dead
money" the former being slaves and
cattle, the latter metal.
"Are your neighbors obligingT
II should say SO. They always let
me use our telephone whenever want
to."-Milwaukee Sentinel.
One OF the choicest delicacies in
Jamaica is a huge white worm found
in the heart Of the cabbage palm. It
tastes when cooked like almonds.
"what is an iceberg. HoraceT' que
ried the Boston teacher.
"A floating aggregation Of tangible
frigidlty." was the reply.
In parts Of Switzerland stone throw
ing contests are held. handsome prizes
being given to those who throw q fair
sized rock farthest.
The secret Of fire eaters consists in
washing out the mouth and rubbing
the skin with pure spirit Of sulphur.
which cauterizes the outer skin.
Towne-You look rather weary, old
man. Browne-Yes. I've had trying
time this past week. Towne-1ll?
RrOxvno-NN IN n i,1rv
Nell-I think Maud has more color
than her sister. Believes, about so
cents worth more.-Philadelph Rec
ord.
"He's one of the most stupid bores
] ever met"
"And yet he seems to have accumu-
lated money. Fortune appears to have
knocked at his door,
Il don't believe she merely knocked;
she must have marched right in."-
London Tit.Bits.
Little Harriet. aged two and one-half
years. had just made her debut ut the
family breakfast table and heard her
papa say grace for the first time. She
watched him with rapt attention. and
then. holding her own little mush bowl
over toward him. said pleadingly:
Papa. say 1t to mine."-Judge.
II guess" said Maud thoughtfully.
''that I won't play anything but elias.
steal music hereafter
"But great many people don't en-
Joy it." replied Mamie.
II know 1t. but they have to say its
good because they don't know whether
make mistakes or not"
"Have you broken o0 your engage
ment old man? What's the matterT'
"Well. I was fearfully hard up. you
see. so quarreled and had all my
presents returned and was able to
realize upon them. Couldn't possibly
have raised the money any other way"
London Mail.
"1s Weary Raggles in de hospertalT
"Yep."
"Wots de matter wit him?'
"De doctor, says water on de brain"
"Wot's dat? Water on Weary's
brain! Say. he must have left his hat
of when twas rainin'-he never got it
no odder way
"Does your husband sleep sound|"
asked Mrs. Cobbs In the course of a
call upon Mrs. Dobbs.
sounds" responded Mrs. Dobbs.
"Well. should say SO! don't believe
you or anybody else ever heard such
sound. It's enough to stop an alarm
clock ~ London Express.
so you don't share the general in
tignatlon toward the railwaysw
NO" answered Farmer Corntossel;
II have always felt that n locomotive
was entitled to lot Of credit for
sticking to the track instead Of snort
ing up and down the country roads
like an automobile. Washington Star.
Stern Parent-Young man. you have
been calling on my daughter rather
frequently for some time. Are your
intentions serious?
Young Man-Certainly. I'm trying to
persuade her to persuade you to pur-
chase the make Of plano ! am agent
for.-Exchange.