Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1907-02-09
NAMES OF NEW WORKERS.
HAVING Fun With the Directory OF the
BIG City.


You have all heard and most Of you
have told the story Of the man who
didn't care to read the dictionary be-
cause the subject changed SO OFTEN.
This Is, OF course, funny way OF say
Ing that the dictionary is a dry book.
However, one might perhaps extract
amusement even from a dictionary II
he knew how. Certainly he can get
entertainment from a city directory.
Take, for instance, our own new city
directory. That 1t has more names
than It's immediate predecessor and
that this indicates that New York has
grown Just as much In population IN
lust such q time-these things go with
out saying.
But what reference Is made In the
directory to that great matter OF Love,
which has ruled the world for no one
knows how many years? Go through
the book. dear reader. and you VIII
find that Il contains forty-seven Loves
one Heart and one Lover. There are
twenty Spooners, two Huggers, sixty
one Darllngs, three Bears, five Petts'
three Sparks, six Kisses, three Smacks
and ten Hugs.
A study of the directory shows, too
that. despite its boosted democracy,
New York is endowed with five and a
half columns of Kings, twelve Queens
one column Of Princes, twenty-fouI
Dukes, thirty-eight Earls and eighty
two Lords. There are sixteen Castles
for all this royalty to dwell In.
The spiritual welfare Of the city
| ought to be we'll looked after also, fol
we find listed siXty-three Popes, foul
| Cardinals, 1872 Abbots, nine Abbeys
eleven Priests, twenty Parishes, two
Chapels. thirty-eight Elders, a column
and three-Quarters Of Parsons, two col
umns of Deans, twelve Deacons, col
umn of Churches, forty-eight Sections
twenty eight Christians and eight 81
bles.
1t speaks pretty we'll for New York
sobriety and general good characte
that Notwithstanding the vast numbe
of people whose names are In the al
rectory there are only two Lushers
one Bum, fourteen Bunns, thirtee
Bats. four Lushes, fifteen Stills, on
Branlgen, three Lodes and one Booi
In the matter Of smoking great ten
pearance is shown, too, for there ar
listed but one Smoker, one Pipe an
one Smoke.
Father Knickerbocker's barber sho
ia well filled. 1t has slxty-seven Bal
bers and five Shavers-quite a bunc
to look after only thirty Boards an
one HAIRCUT il has one Pole out an
} is ready to do more business.
There are four and one-half column
j of Bakers, fourteen Rolls, one Cak
D bread and one Pies, and he Is Ia
( lem baker, by the way.
}. That New York Is still a young tow
is shown by the fact that there al
D seven columns Of Youngs and only s.
/. Odds. The comparison of seven Far
+ as against one Skinner doesn't cons'
tute bad showing either.
Considering the greatness and goo
ness of the big burg, it is hard to 81
q why the directory should hand 1t TIVE
Y ty-one Lemons. The fact that we ha'
il also fifteen Apples, eighteen Citron
r. FIVE Oranges, five Peaches, one Crap
8 three Plums and one Pear doesr
4 make entire amends, but New fo
h isn't going to cry about 1t. 1t is L
d light hearted, for, as the directo
Il shows, it has eighteen Joys and sew
= Happes to only one Tear.
d The first name in the directory
e Jaoues Aa, and the last name Is Lou
v Zyss. There are twelve nar1es I'd
,e begin with X, nine columns OF Jones'
a thirty-five columns of Smiths, two c.
q. umns Of John Smiths and nineteen c.
a umns of Browns.-New York World.