Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1907-09-21

ny we must go back to first principles
and take the birds for our pattern.
Birds don't fly with their bodies, but
with their wings. Put the right sort
OF wings on a man and he flies. You
fly hy-everybody flies. By thun-
der! By thunderr'
But those wings have got to be
invented" | protested, a bit startled
by his earnestness.
Easy as rolling off a log-just a
matter of three days practice Mrs
Bowser. You will see me leaving
this house for the office on wings with
in a week. You will see me sailing
over houses and trees and the river
like an albatross. You will see the
streets full of people looking up at me
and shouting the name of Bowser. A
thousand reporters will be tramping
through the house and looking into the
closets and under the beds and up the
chimneys and asking you whether the
mole was on your grandmothers chin
or cheek. The fame of it! And the
millions and millions of dollars!"
nave seen Mr.. BOwSer enthusiastic,
but l never saw him so far gone be-
fore. Almost any second 1 expected
to see him spread his wings and fly
away. | started out to discourage
him, but made a failure of it. Boys
might throw stones and men might
bring out their shotguns, but he had
way Of lodging them. He knew
just how those wings ought to be
made and just how they should be
worked, and he sat down on all my
arguments and f1attened them out. 1
got him to fly to bed at last, but it
was a long and sorrowful night for
me. When he slept it was to work
his legs as If flying, and when he was
awake it was to tell me how many
eagles and wild geese he would over
haul and bring to market Just before
daylight 1 fell into a sound sleep, and
when 1 awOke he was gone. 1 ques-
toned the hired girl about him, and
she replied:
HE came down here, tapping his
arms, an hour ago and was in such q
hurry to get off that he would only
wait for a cup of coffee. AS near as
I could make him out he expects to be-
come a bird. Begging your pardon,
ma'am, but a fine, fat, baldheaded
bird will he make. Will he be called
the Bowser bird2'
was on my dignity and didn't an
swer, but as the forenoon dragged
away 1 became very anxious. I fig
ured that he had gone to some machine
shop to get his wings made, and /
could not tell at what moment he might
come Aging home and drop with a
plump on the doorstep or be brought
to the gate in an ambulance. At mid
afternoon 1 gave a boy a quarter to
circle around and see if he could see a
large bird sailing to and fro in the air
No bird.
Then gave another boy 10 cents to
walk about and inquire If any one had
been hurt or killed.
No news.
Night came on and no Mr.. Bowser.
.'WheI a man gets to thinking he's
bird what can you do with him I"
asked the girl as i sat down to my
dinner.
Nine-1O-11-12. No Mr.. Bowser.
He had probably started for Boston or
Philadelphia on wings.
I awoke next morning to go up on
the roof Of the house, but there was no
clew. Mr.. Bowser Is sure to leave
tracks wherever he goes, but he had
left none on the roof.
At noon that day 1 had the police
send out a general alarm. The officer
who came to the house to get the par
ticulars said that Mr.. Bowser and his
wings might be hanging to the tele-
graph wires out in the country or nave
been caught in some treetop and that
the police would do their best to let me
know whether was widow or not.
The afternoon and the night passed,
and still NO news.
1t is now three days and nights
since Mr.. Bowser flew away and yet
the mystery is unsolved. His wings
have either carried him upward be-
yond the ken Of man or they have fail
ed him and his body is lying in some
thistle patch and awaiting discovery.
Any news from him, dead or alive, will
be thankfully appreciated and liberal
reward paid by
MRS. SARAH BOWSER,
Wife of the Only Bowser.
Per M. Quad.