The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1907-04-04

How nooch to clean my coat? He
says It vhas feefteen cents more ash
before because frankfurters yhas gone
oop, und coats vhas In sympathy.
go by der coal man for ton of coal,
but it Vhas gone oop quarter on a
ton TO me. | goes by der butcher for
my meat, but meat vhas higher 1t
vhas so in eafery place, und bust oop
my trust und go home und say u my
wife:
IF | make 81 ash 4 trust und lose
Sc ash an Individual. how many fools
vhas in our family?
II like Mr. Snyder to 90 home, be-
cause shall send oudt der growler for
beer und drink by myself but 4
smokes ind smokes uDd stays on. unS
by und by he says:
Hans. maybe | do some awful
things last night. und I vhas feeling
bad abGudt it
do you rob somepodyT | says.
"'No, not dot. | used to haf brud-
der-in-law named Carl. He vhas q
fine man, und he reads und thinks a
great deal. He don't belief he shall
go to heaven when he dies. but dot he
Will turn into some animal ind stay
on earth. llugh at him many times.
but he vhas VERY serious. Maybe
you remember dot be dies last spring?
He shumps off a street car ind falls
on his head und breaks his neck You
could take his face und turn it clear
around und make him look backward
Yes | hear aboudt it,
On His Guard.
"Vhell. | can't say If lie turns into
some animal, but all der time l vhas
looking oudt for him. Maybe he vhas
a horse or dog or cat. Last night
comes home late und finds a dog in
my westibule. Maybe L hat too mooch
beer und vhas mad. Ash soon ash l
see dot dog | slump on him und kick
HIM down der steps, und l no sooner
tell my wife about it dan she throws
oop her arms und cries oudt:
"'Oh, cruel man, What hat you done?
Dot poor dog vhas my poor brudder
Carl come to us for food Gnd lodgings
Il run oudt ind whistle ind call und
look all aroundt, but der dog can't be
found. He vhas afraid l kick him some
more. Hans. do you pellet dot vhas
my brudder-in-lawr
II can't say, but If l vhas him l bite
you When you kick"
Il wish he had. l wish l Was too
drunk to kick him. Poor Carl, He
comes home for supper und bed, ind
he meets NIT kick und cuSswordS.
don't pellet l can ever forglf myself"
Snyder Sheds Te,rs.
Mr.. Snyder turns his head AWAY und
sheds tears, but l can't say aottings to
comfort him. In der first place, l vhas
too busy NIT dot half sole, ind in der
next maybe dot dog yhas somepody
elses brudder-in-law und goes by der
wrong house. Nopody speaks FOR ten
minutes, und den Mr. Snyder wipes
AWAY der tears und says:
Hans, did you hear aboud. me und
der street car conductor"
4 don't pellet So
"Nhell. | make complaint against him
at headquarters. l take a street cas
der odder day to go to Greenfield. 4
don't know where it is, ind 1 tell der
conductor to let me off Dot car goes
on ind on, und it vhas one hour before
| says:
Don't we come to Greenfield YETI
Why, man. we vhaS six miles be
yond it" he says.
But l wanted to get off at Green
field
You must be mistook. Greenfield
vhas all right in der summer, but now
dot it vhas winter you want to get off
at Snow HILL"
"Cnd dot vhas not all, Hans. When
| goes TO get off der car he calls oudt.
step lively" Dot makes me fall down.
und he calls oudt, Get oop livelyr 1
gets oop und starts AWAY, und he
shouts after me, Limp lively und
eaferybody laughs und makes me feel
bad. | make complaint ind hat him
bounced oudt. 1t vhas all right to be
lively, but you must not be too lively.
What did you say, Hans?"
don't say nottings, und while
vhas saying it ind keeping still Mr..
Snyder falls asleep und don't wake oop
till all der beer vhas vanished und
some ice water vhas in der pail.
NJ. QUAD.