Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1907-10-03
THE FLOATING BATTERY.
BY st. JOHN BYER.

Finally, the saints with the tenn
perance people had prevailed at tn
hustings, and the good old substantial
village of shepherdstown should eve
hereafter be high, dry and severely
moral. The saloons should be sealec
up fountains and the virtuous deter
mined that "there be no more cakes
and ale." The usual cheer up anC
chirrup on Saturday nights would ne
longer break upon the quiet medita'
tions OF the righteous who were hal
lowing their minds with frame suit
able for the Sabbath rest. The mil
leunium was near at hand when the
saints should have their own will and
way in correcting the evils Of this
bad world, and should bring about
that bright Utopisn dream Of Christian
faith.
But, alas, the children of this world
are sometimes wiser in their day and
generation than the children OF light.
So the Vaccinations Of Satan entered
into the greedy soul of a goddess Mary
land rumseller, to take advantage o.
his States charter that claimed al
liquid rights of the fair Potomac, even
unto high.water mark on the Virgins
shore. He procured large hat-boat
likely a superannuated sand-scow
whereon he erected plank cabin,
very unlike the gorgeous gin-palacei
of the city, yet for the same purpose
He stared it with the vilest concoc'
tions that even assaulted the cultivat'
ed Virginia palate. and thus equipped
he sailed across the beautiful Potomac
to open from this battery his broad
sides upon the devoted village. HI
anchored within few yards Of shore
so as to be clearly within bounds, anG
then threw out gang plank and hi
proclamation that here the oppressed
and disconsolate topers could HE t.
obtain their dimes worth of the oil o.
Joy. He needed no farther advertise
ment.
|. Stolen waters are sweet, so is sur
reptitious whiskey. The old soakers
as though to despite those who had
wrestled go valiantly to keep temp.
tation from them, abandoned them
selves to their new.found liberty, and
gloried in becoming intoxicated beasts
Never was such run of custom. Es-
pscially on Saturday evenings that
broad road down to the river and
ruin was thronged with the procession
Gaily they went down as to festal
banquet, to fill themselves with blue
but comfortable ruin, to enjoy the
ecstasy Of bestial fuddle. Then, after
having blown in their weeks earn
ings, to come out Of the noisy, i'll.
smelling hole, wretched and besotted
to toll painfully up the long hill to
the poverty-stricken homes, where
wife and children awaited their COM
ing with dread.
Perchance when registering and
fighting were not absorbing their en-.
ergies, they would crack their thin
jokes at the prime mover Of the op.
ton law, whose attempt to outrage
their liberties they 80 clearly circum.
vented. But good DR.. Andrews,
though saddened when he saw the
persistence Of evil, was not entirely
discouraged. He saw the men, with
whom he had vainly reasoned, tramp
ing down eagerly to their own de-
structiou. There was the giant-frsmed
O. s., the tuneful-voiced Teddy z,
and many other names perhaps better
left unknown on. such roll Of ill-fame
With pity for them, and more for
their poor families, DR.. Andrew.
would make another attempt to abate
this svil-hs would not give up th'
fight against the devil and his works
1t were vain to plead with the mex
orsble old scamp who commanded the
floating battery. he boldly stoot
his-not ground--but water, pro
claiming that he was selling Maryland
whiskey in that State; if the gentle
men from Virginia elected to com
over bis gangway boundary, he wa
happy to serve them with the best il
his shop. In fact, he seemed to glory
in his business, as though he were
public bensfactor.
Good DR.. Andrews was obliged t
restrain some of the more aggressiv
| of the temperance advocates. VII