The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1907-12-10

scrip Wr have WIFE ne retired. ;tnu
real dough will look good, but Inc
old subscriber will Insist on paving
up with wood.
On the I'd, Speaker Cannon will
assemble at Washington, where he
will re-elect himself and resume the
enactment Of law in the presence OF
the Democratic minority and other
ollookers. The final edition of tne
presidents message will be read.
Wall street Will be given another
phvsic: and it will be officially de-
cleared that this country cannot ex-
st half capital and half water.
Mr.. Fairbanks will take rufuge IN
the dignity Of the senate from his
cocktail prosecutors, and several leW
members will be taken into thu K
elusive club Of multi r>:ilonaireS.
CONGRESS assembled Till take up
great public c,'-stions like the need
Of a new federal building at Podunk
and Coyote Center; the growing de-
ma1d for a more elastic currency,
and why nobody will stay in the army
at the generous inducement Of $l3
north and found-dead in the Phil
lippines.
Persons born under the sign of
Capricornus the Goat are great ora
tors. thinkerssa and teachers; self
conscious and not meddlesome; good
story tellers, eat too much, have
style and pride, talk too much, are
distrustful, and can keep a secret( If
males). They are selfish, and never
get the hot end Of it in an exchange
Of Christmas gifts. They continue
to hang up their stockings when it
is a hardship upon others to fill
them. Girls born in Capricornus
are hard to win, generally preferring
a parrot to the stork.
The want-wolf's wall will ride the
blast j
Where poverty prevails:
A few late laggard geese will pass
With winter on their tails.
The sleigh will jingle up the road
the lines around the whip, and George
and Nellie, in the robes, will loves
own honey sip. The sleigh Will hit
a 10 foot bank, and they'll 60 roll
ING down, with Nellie's foot in Geor-
ee's face-a1d walk six miles to
town,
The new rules for farmers promul-
gated by the Farmhands' Union will
60 into effect on the lst, viz: Far
mers will provide automobiles for all
help, and will serve as chauffeurs;
they will -eat at the second table, and
sleep in the hayloft; they will rise
at 4, do the chores, and serve break
fast to the hands in bed at 8; they
will provide phonograrh and the
current magazines; hands will sup
ervise the farmwork from IL to Il,
and from till 3; the earnings OF
the farm will be placed in a bucket
every Saturday and poured through
a ladder placed horizontally, with
the ends on two chairs; what goes
through, the hands get-and what
sticks on the rungs goes to the far
mer.
Santa Claus will make the usual
rounds on the night Of the 24th. Men
will get cigras, neekwear and mus
tache cups. Ladies will get the mon
ey-which they would much rather
have. Children will get the stomach
ache and it's complications.
And then comes January i'll
To plague us with some ancient Dill
AS only January can
Disturb the happiness Of man.
Then Leap Year dread shall come
again with Nineteen Hundred Eight;
when womankind Of growing years
and single upto date, will nit the
machelor's plain~ trial-the unpro-
posing wretch-and make the worthy
for awhile exceeding hard to ketch.
Fools and Wise Men-And Thanks
giving Day.
D.o,,;xx- Doo -Tnnedav'S