davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Las Vegas age. [volume] (Las Vegas, Nev.) 1905-1947, 1907-07-06
OOD
Short tories

Once at dinner. LISTS hostess cried
In q horrifed voice, that there were
thirteen at table. Don't let that alarm
you, madam" said Lisa, with a re-
assuring smile. III eat for two"
The late Baroness Burdett-Coutts
used to relate with keen pleasure a
story OF the Duke OF Wellington and
Soult On the first occasion the duke
took Soult into Apsley House. the lat.
ter was surprised at the absence OF
pictures he had known in Madrid.
How is It, Monsieur le Due he said,
that you have so few OF the Spanish
masterpieces?" Marshal. you forget.
replied the duke, that my army was
only IN Madrid after the one COM
manded by yourself"
Commodore Guest, some thirty years
ago in command OF the navy yard at
Portsmouth. y. H.. one day saw Il Ia
borer making some repairs on the side
walk In front Of the officers quarters.
At that time II was not the practice,
as now, for officers to wear their uni
forms when about the yard. and the
eommodate, not having his on. the la
borer did not recognize him nor pay
any attention TO his criticism or suS-
gestions Of the way 10 do the work.
This nettled the commodore and pro-
voked him to ask with some spirit: DO
you know who l am? My man, am
the commandant :" To this the other
replied suavely: BE COB. you have a
fine Job; take good care of it, sor."
Beef was very scarce In Ladysmlth
during the siege but General Sir Ian
Hamilton, then a colonel, insisted that
horse Is not half bad when properly
cooked and when one is used to IT, In
fact" he said, concluding a discussion.
Il have a joint cooked tonight, which
hope you will all sample. or course,
there's beef. too-to-niGht'" Every one
at the table preferred the beef. with
the exception OF Colonies Ward and
Ian Hamilton, who ostentatouSly
carved generous slices from the horse
flesh" The dinner was nearly over
when one of the servants whispered a
communication to Ward Up be sprans.
I'm distressed. gentlemen" ne an
nounced TO the startled company. a
silly mistake has been made 1aose
Joints were mixed up somehow and you
have been eating the horse. I'm really
annoyed. But l hope youN be con
yinced now that the meat : splendid
eating. I'm sure you all seemed to
enjoy it,. Chances were exchanged ;
mustaches We're twir.ed Nobody >oem-
ed ready with a response. Then a
voice from the bottom of the table
piped up "Oh. don't distress yourself,
Ward. l thought some mistake had
been made; SO l Just changed those
dishes as they stood on the s!deboard.
1t was you and Hamilton had the
horseflesh all right"
Las Vegas age. [volume] (Las Vegas, Nev.) 1905-1947, 1907-07-06
.cwHAT's THE UsE?"

.ttnr,.s are nothing but clusters OF words;
Heading is nothing but looking at
print;
fo-ov is nothing-folks throw it at birds
Pictures are nothing but color and
tint;
oi3ners are nothing but something to
eat:
Ssning is nothing but moving your
feet
What's the use?
Dancing is nothing but prancing in tune;
Riding is nothing but moving along:
Sleeping is nothing but waking too soon;
Singing is nothing but talking a song
Playing is nothing but fooling around;
Boxing is nothing but learning TO pound
What's the use:
Working is nothing but earning your
pay;
Loating is nothing-and harder to do;
Silence is nothing with nothing to say
Dressing is nothing but garment and
shoe;
Smiling is nothing but twisting your
face;
Moving is nothing but changing your
ba aSe-
What's the use?
What is the use of II? What is the use?
Smoking is pumping stuff into your
lungs:
Having your way is to kick like the
deuce;
Fame is a ladder with grease on the
rungs,
What is the sense of it all, anyway?
What is the-Why is the-Hang it all
Say.
What's the use?
Chicago Post.
Las Vegas age. [volume] (Las Vegas, Nev.) 1905-1947, 1907-07-06
SOapberry Tree.

The soapberry tree, Sapindus margi-
uatus utllis, has been quite extensive
ly cultivated in Algeria for its berries,
which are rich In sapOnin, and are sent
to Germany for use in the manufacture
OF soap, says the Scientific American.
Similar qualities are possessed by the
Florida soap tree, Sapindus manaten-
sis utllis, commonly known as the Chi
ma soap tree, from the fact that it was
originally introduced from China. +.
MOuline, of Jacksonville, Fla, has re-
Gently been engaged in promoting the
cultivation of this tree in the southern
states by free distribution of seeds.
The tree grows to a height of forty
or fifty feet and begins to bear fruit in
the sixth year. The berries are abou:
the size of cherries and consist Of a
hard, yellow-brown waX-like shell, in
closing a large black seed. The she'll is
rich il saponin, and if bits Of 1t are
agitated in water a lather VIII AT once
begin to form. BY grinding the shells
a brownish soap powder is obtained
which possess valuable cleansing prop
critics. The hard, hlacl. seeds of the
mulberry tree have been useI in the
manufacture of beads; they also WELD
fine oil useful in soap manufacture,
rs we'll as in other Industries.
Las Vegas age. [volume] (Las Vegas, Nev.) 1905-1947, 1907-07-06
BIRDS HAVE A HARD TIME
Always DodGinE Death and Have n
Severe Struggle for n Living.

Severe Struggle for n Living.
Il was sitting at my window the
other day" said Colonel Louis E. Pitts
Of Missouri. while half a dozen spar
rows were picking Curiously and saw
agely crowding one another round a
bit Of bread about the size Of boy 5
marble. They were hungry. l know
that by the way they pushed and
showed and elbowed one another
around the bread and by the disputes
and side fights that were constantly
taking place.
y carriage rolled by in the street.
In an instant every bird took wing
and flew up 10 the branches Of 4 tree
overhead. After the carriage had gone
they came back, but hardly got a bit
apiece when 4 boy appeared, and away
they all flew. Then 4 man, next a
woman, after her 4 dog, and after the
dog a delivery wagon scared them of,
so that ere the crumb disappeared the
birds at least dozen times were
frightened up into the tree, to come
DaCk anu De StdTtu Ou u-dth.
The incident set me 10 musing over
the vicissitudes OF natures life and
the comforts men enjoy but do not ap-
preciate Suppose that all the board
ers OF a first-class house had to run
away from the table and run into the
third story half dozen times during
their dinner. TO keep from being killed.
do you think they would have much
appetite? Suppose you had to bolt nut
Of your room into the street a hundred
times a day TO save your life, wouldn't
living become a burden? Yet the birds
are boiling all day long, every day IN
the year. and all their lives, from real
or imaginary danger, for the one Is as
bad as the other.
Suppose when we got up in the
morning in a room without 9 fire we
had to go out and work for our break
fast before we got any, then find an
other Job to pay for dinner and the
third before we could eat supper; sup
pose that all our victuals were cold,
that after hustllng all day and not get
ting enough 10 eat we had to rOost
under the caves of a house or under
somebody's porch and watch for cats
all night long-wouldnt men go and
jump in the river rather than worry
with such a life? Yet that is the
birds life in winter.
I'm summer food is abundant, the
temperature is pleasant and the birds
seem happy in spite OF their constant
danger from boys and stones and guns
by day and from cats and owls At
night. Maybe birds have no memory
for dangers past. II 4 man runs the
risk of being killed by falling off a
street ear all his acquantances have
to listen to the story At intervals for
weeks, but a bird lodges death every
ten minutes through the day, then
mounts a twiG and sings as chcerily
as though there We're not a stone nor
a gun in the world No regret for the
past no forebo1lng for the future no
worry about rent or taxes or coal bills
no pantry and no fear that anything
will spoil il keeping-who wouldn't
like 10 be 4 birdT"-St. Louis Globe
Democrat
Las Vegas age. [volume] (Las Vegas, Nev.) 1905-1947, 1907-07-06
WHAT TO EAT AFTER AGE OF 90
English Authority Lays Down Diet
Rules to Lengthen Life.

Rules to LenEthen Life.
DR.. Cohen. a noted London physician
has furnished a diet that people may
eat after middle age to keep from
growing old too rapidly. Among the
foods most likely to have the effect OF
keeping the body youthful as stated
by him are the following. which any
one past forty should use in prefer
cace to the heavier and richer articles,
and which all city people will probably
find most suitable from the age Of IS or
80 onwards:
Mutton-It is better than beef for
sedentary people. The leg is the best,
according to DIR. Burney Yeo. Young
and tender fowl and game. Eggs
lightly cooked or cooked In every
form.
Mllk-It is better always to boil it.
1t is as good In puddings. cocoa. coffee,
etc, as alone.
Potted meats and games, II genuine
and unadulterated. are nutritious and
dlgestible.
Fish. particularly white fish, such as
sole, whiting. cod. founders, smelts,
etc. Fish is better boiled than fried.
Grilled bacon.
Sound, pure bread. 1t is best when
homemade.
Porridge OF rice. tapioca, sago, ar
rowroot. macaroni, made with milk
and eggs mot egg powders).
Vegetable purees Of all kinds
Stewed celery. stewed onions, spin
ach, artichokes, and nearly all vegeta-
bles.
Stewed or baked fruits Of every kind.
and raw, well-ripened apples, pears,
grapes, oranges. strawberries, etc.
Tea. coffee, chocolate. are all good.
Tea and coffee, however, should be
light and quickly made.
Hard water is probably an active
agent in aging the body. 1t Is said to
produce calculus and may harden the
arteries. With hardened arteries one
cannot be young Use soft water for
drinking
tutSc dlt Ohiy oNAiC VA 14C AcONS
that may be used. 1t Is a mistake to
restrict the dietary too much Mod
Grafton is the thing to keep always in
mind
With attention to food, air, exercise
and the hygiene of the mind. most peo-
pie might he ten or twenty years young
or than they really are. The great sci
enlist, Dr Metchnikoff. thinks we
ought to live ten times as long as the
period we take to develop. That is
from go to 30 years. There is no
reason. therefore, why we should not
remain youthful until we pass seventy
or even eighty Some people accom-
plish it, and It Is possible for a great
number
DO not eat heavy suppers.
Avoid rich meats and pastry.
DO not grow fat by eating too much
Fat people seldom reach a good old
age.
The youthful old man Is lean.
Lessen your food continually as you
grow older.
Over-eating produces all the diseases
that make one old.
Under feeding shortens life.
Just enough and a trif1e over is the
Las Vegas age. [volume] (Las Vegas, Nev.) 1905-1947, 1907-07-06
THE HOUSE OF LORDS.
what This Great British Institution
Represents.

what This Great British Institution
Represents.
At first sight there Is not much like
ness between the comfortable country
gentlemen, retired lawyers, blase men
Of fashion and liberal subscribers TO
party funds, who now drop into rather
than frequent their magnificent hall,
and "the mail covered barons. who
proudly to battle led their vassals from
Europe to Palestines plain" In the
days Of the Henrys and Edwards. but
in one point the house has always
maintained its character through cen
turles-it IS an aristOcracy of birth, but
it Is still more emphatically one of
wealth. The law of entail and primo
geniture has kept the landed estates
together as far as the law can. Many
have passed by hpiresses to new names
or been sold by spendthrift lords. many
holders of ancient titles have lost the
wealth that gilded their ancestors cor
ouets, but new peers are almost al
ways rich, and title is still an at
traction 10 an heircss. We sometimes
hear that the House of Lords repre-
sents nothing. This is false, II repre-,
sents property. Tennyson'S new Lin,
colnshire farmer, whose horses hOpfs
trotted ''proputty, proputty. prorutty,
IS the type of vast number Of En-
glishmen. Such men are not only CON
tent. but proud, to be represented by
the House of Lords. They know thai
as long as the lords have their say
''proputty" will have a stancA body OF
organized champions.-William Ever
EFT, in Atlantic.
Las Vegas age. [volume] (Las Vegas, Nev.) 1905-1947, 1907-07-06

The subject of ancestors is often an
interesting topic of conversation. \
lady extremely proud of her mothers
family created a sensation and made
her listeners wonder Il little when she
remarked: MY father filed many re.
sponslble positions. We all have the
greatest respect for him. My father
was a good man, but'-and a certain
stiffenlng of the shoulders and al
added expression of firmness in the
good lady's face added Importance tC
her conclusion-''my mother was al
Osgood!"
Las Vegas age. [volume] (Las Vegas, Nev.) 1905-1947, 1907-07-06
Momnn Barber Making Money.

Chicago boasts of a woman barber
In the stock yards district. who is the
proprietor of a shop running eight
chairs, and who employs only women
assistants. 1t is said that she clears
over $50 a week. This energetic per
son also runs bath rooms in connec-
ton with her shop. acts as agent for
a laundry and a baggage express
company, sells cigars, tobacco, sta
tionery, newspapers and periodicals.
She puts In the few spare minutes she
has at her command. after attending
to these varied enterprises, by making
her own clothing on the sewing ma
chine
Las Vegas age. [volume] (Las Vegas, Nev.) 1905-1947, 1907-07-06

At Ancona. Italy, March I, workmen
discovered two ancient tombs of extra
ordinary value and interest while ex-
cavatlnc for the foundations of a hos
pital. These tOmbs date from the third
century before Christ. They contained
some beautiful silver vases, a pair of
gold earrings, set with emeralds, and
a gold ring, set with carved stone.
Orders have been given that search be
made for other antiquities.
Las Vegas age. [volume] (Las Vegas, Nev.) 1905-1947, 1907-07-06
His Motive.
are going to Lecturer"

so you are going to lecturer
Yes" answered Senator Sorghum,
"rot that l care for the money, but
II is a pleasure TO get away from your
stony-faced colleagues in Congress and
face an audience that really wants to
hear you talk. k."-Washington Star.
Las Vegas age. [volume] (Las Vegas, Nev.) 1905-1947, 1907-07-06

Tourist Ito boy fishing) How many
fish have you caught? Boy-Oh,
couldn't count 'em. TOurist-Why,
you haven't caught any, you little vag-
abond. Boy-thats why can't count
'em
Las Vegas age. [volume] (Las Vegas, Nev.) 1905-1947, 1907-07-06
Caution.

"I can't say your speeches were very
interesting"
Didn't want 'em to be-" answered
Senator Sorghum. Il merely wanted
to say enough to show | was keeping
busy, without starting an argument "
Washington Star.
Las Vegas age. [volume] (Las Vegas, Nev.) 1905-1947, 1907-07-06

So much enthusiasm is wasted at the
start of most enterprises that there is
but little left at the finish
Las Vegas age. [volume] (Las Vegas, Nev.) 1905-1947, 1907-07-06

And some men have the knack of ap-
pearing smaller as you get closer to
them.
Las Vegas age. [volume] (Las Vegas, Nev.) 1905-1947, 1907-07-06

So these were wed (about four
months later), and merrily rang tne
bells. That was at the end OF the sun
mer holidays, and when, on orisn'
September morning, Mr.. Sheringnan.
radiant now, and more than reconciieu
to his fate, left Trinity church VIZ
Mrs Sherlngham on his arm -
nephew was observed to be among rso @
most delighted Of the guests
bride was given away by her brotne.
in-law, but so far the true history -
the proposal has been given away "
no one. Perhaps this is accounteG ~. -.
by the fact that Tom returned 10 w. s,s
Point after a severe lecture from ~. !.
Justly indignant uncle. with wnat aor =
vulgarly known as a flee In DIS ,,ssn eIa
But in his pocket were ten golden
eagles from the same source'-L0HO
Sketch.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-05-19

ard things agin the drink, which 'ad
made i'm the larfing stock OF all the
fools in Claybury.
I'm going 20 give It up. Smith, he
ses.
Yes; l know you are, SEES Smith.
II ! could ony lose the taste OF
IL for time / could give IL up ses Job.
wiping his mouth, and 10 prove I'm in
Earnest IN give pounds 20 anybody
ASH prevent me tasting intoxicating
ticker for "a MONTH
You may as well save your breath
TO bid people good night" with. Job.
ses Bill Chambers; YOU wouldn't pay
MP If anybody did keep you off it,
dob sworo honor bright he would,
but nobody believed i'm. and at last
he called for pen and ink and wrote
" all down on a sheet o. paper and
signed 81, and then he got two other
chaps 10 sign Il as witnesses.
'Ril Chambers wasn't satisfied then.
lie pointed out that earning the 5
pounds. and then getting IL ont r.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-05-19

'IIe used to ask Smith for il every
aight. and Smith used to give I'm the
same answer. until at last jon Brown
said ned go an see lawyer about
X. That frightened Smith "A bit and
ma landed IL over. but two days arter-
Il believe he'd ha' handed it over.
but two days afterwards Job was go
ing upstairs so careful that he feu
down to the bottom and broke is leg.
1t was broken in two places. and
the doctor said it would be a long job.
owing 10 is drinking habits, and e
gave Mrs. Brown strict orders that
job wasn't to ave a drop of anything.
even il e asked for H.
There was a lot o. talk about IL up
at the CaulihoweF ere, and Henery
White, arter bad 'eadache, thought
Of plan by which e and Bin Cham
bers could ave that FIVE pounds atween
EN-. The idea was that Bill Chambers
was 10 go with Henery 10 see Job. and
Jake i'm bottle Of beer and list as
Job was going TO drink * Henery
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-05-19
Queer Railroad Laws
OF the Different States

larity TO the names of other stations
along the line.
The Legislature Of Florida at its ses-
sion passed an act intended to make
railroads more prompt in settling
claims Roads failing to pay claim
Tor loss or damages within ninety
days must pay - per cent on the
Judgment obtained by the claimant I'm
excess Of the amount offered by tho
railroad in settlement.
kentucky's court Of appeals decided
that the mere fact that a great many
people have been in the habit of using
railroad trestle as a footbridge with
out objection on the part of the COM
pany does not give the people special
rights on the bridge. or compel the
company to exercise any especial de-
gree of care for their safety.
1t has been decided by the supreme
court of Georgia that an engineer is
not justified in acting on the pre-
sumption that child of tender years
on railroad track will appreciate
its danger and use .he judgment Of
an adult in getting o 1t of the way OF
an approaching train.
California has a law making il
felony for any person TO circulate false
reports regarding the value Of the
stock Of any corporation formed in
the State. Punishment may be two
years Imprisonment, $5.OOo fine. or
both.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-05-19
Women Who Wear
Mems Garments

PART from the many womsn
~ who have masqueraded IN
n male attire for several years
without the secret OF their
sex being discovered, there are several
well-knoWn ladies' living today who
dress as men. not in order to conceal
their sex, which. Of course. Is not
secret, but simply because they ind
male garments more convenient and
comfortable.
The late Rosa BonheuF. the famous
animal painter, may be said 20 have
started the fashion. Of ladies wearing
trousers in France. Finding skirts a
nuisance when attending horse fairs
for the purpose of obtaining material
Cor her pictures. Rosa Bouneur petit
toned the French government 10 sl-
low her 10 wear male 6-ess. The petit
tion. was successful. and for many
years Nine. BOnheur went about
France in the guise OF man
woman
At The present time the only woman
IN France legally permitted 20 wear
male attire is Mime. DieulafOy, a we'll
SHOWN Partisan journalist Iibbretist,
and novelist
IN The privacy OF her own apart
ments. Nine Bernhardt frequently
donS male attire. more especially when
working as a sculptor Mime. Du Cast.
too. the intrepid spOrtswoman and
mOtOrist. frequently wears bifUrcated
garments. which are more lks masCu-
line breeches than the ordinary bloom
ers. when INDUCING in the various
kinds OF sport in which she excels.
And here 1t might be mentioned that
the custom OF riding astride which Is
gaining uuCh popularity among horse
women. is causing a general adoption
of e-breeches and tOp-bOOts among
society ladies. Quite a number OF
ladies Of title now ride astride, among
them being the Duchess OF West
minister. Lady Castlereagh and Lady
Stewart Richardson
Possibly. however. the most remark
able "man-Woman" IN England at the
present time is Lady Jack" the
daughter Of a distinguished naval
officer-whO works on a farm near St
Nary Cray, dressed IN a neat Norfolk
suit. with cap. leggins. and boots 20
match. Tall and Muscular, she shares
all the rough work with the labOrers.
Americas most famous man
woman" Is DR. Mary Walker. who for
over fifty years has worn masculine
attire An ardent disciple OF Mrs
Amelia BiOomer, DR.. Walker was the
second woman 10 adopt boomers. and
soon discarded the semblance Of trous-
ers and adopted male attire from head
10 foot This remarkable lady. who IS
now I'm her seventies, practiced medi-
cine for many years, and has always
taken keen interest In politics.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-05-19

lege. He chooses another lady, and
after saluting her Sravely-or other
wtse-he also hands 10 her a useful
present. This curious ceremony.
which is supposed TO take place quin-
quennialiy. was last performed in
the year 1901, but OF course. il al
ways rests with the mayor for the
time being whether it shan be per-
formed
When the pretty Thames town Of
Maidenhead takes it into its head TO
have a beating OF the bounds" the
steward appointed for that purpose is
always accompanied by a large crowd
Of curious people. These help him. or
think they do. wnen he has 10 climb
over houses which stand i'm his path.
o. 70 get through windows under
which the bounds pass. Also when
thv party meets any man by chance
during its progress IL proceeds grave
~ % bump" that Individual: but II
The person met should be a lady she
IS given the choice as 70 whether she
viii be bumped or kissed
Nor IS England the only one with
such compulsory kissing ceremonies.
Haimagen, IN Austria. has an annual
fair on St. The0dore's day. at which
every man present has the right 10
calm one lady and 20 kiss her with
OFT her having any right 10 object
Ills strange custom is the outcome
OF raid which was once made on the
town by Turkish Drigands. who car
RICO OF all the women as captfVes
bur band OF men travelling in the
distrsct Glanced L. meet The captors
and forced them 10 give up their vic
TINS. u mo were then kindly escorted
io their homes AMI friends In CRATE
ful remembrance Of the CAV the maid
ems Of lialmasen annually offer their
lips modestly and freely 10 the strang-
crs who frequent the town during the
fair OF ST. Theodore
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1907-05-19

White said. if Mrs Brown was in the
room 80 much the better. as she'd be
a witness. lie made BID swear 10 keep
II secret for fear Of other chaps doing
il afterwards. and then they bought a
bottle o. beer and set of up the road
to Jobs. The annoying part Of il was.
arter all their trouble and Henery
Whites eadache, Mrs. Brown wouldn't
let EN- iH. They begged and prayed
Of 'er TO let 'em 90 up and just ave
a peep az i'm. but she wouldn't She
said she'd go upstairs and peep for
EN-. ard she came down agin and
said that e was a little bit flushed,
but sleeping like a lamb.
They went round the corner and
drank the Gle up, and Bill Chambers
said IL was a good job. Henery
thought e was clever. because nobody
else did. As for Is 'eadaches, e put
EN- down 10 oyer-eating.
Several other chaps called TO see
Job. but none Of them was allowed 20
so up. and for seven weeks that un-