davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11
Mhars the Matter with pennsrIvania2

=
What's the matter with Pennsylvania.
Quay is dead; John Wanamaker is alive,
but affairs in the Keystone State appear
to jog along about as usual Two years
ago the people rose in revolt, and did a
little shaking Up. Even Philadelphia, OF
ignOble distinction as the most corrupt
city in the world" tossed the old gang
out Of power in 1865 under the leadership
Of John Weaver. then mayor; but in its
recent election the city again went under
the whip of the gangsters.
The revelation In the matter Of organ
lied. if not legalized. graft IN the con-
struction Of the capitol at Harrisburg are
astounding and nauseating. even for
Pennsylvania A building that cost only
a, ,0o0 900 has absorbed g. 10000 OF the peo-
Pies taxes In furnishings. In the single
item Of chandeliers alone it has been
shown that more than 100000 in graft
went into the pockets of the contractor,
if none OF it went further astray. One
Of the men who is known 10 have shared
most largely in this public plunder was
reelected to high office last November
by an increased majority. and that, too,
after complete exposure Of his scoundreI-
ism had been made.
Wherefore. We again inquire: What s
the matter with Pennsylvania?
There is more wealth, actual and poten-
tial, Ia Pennsylvania than in any other
state of the Union. In proportion TO
population. Pennsylvania has a greater
number of millionaires than can be
claimed even by New York Its illiteracy
is prOpOrtionately low. and would proba-
bly, be as low as that Of any other com
munity in the country but for the inunda-
Tion Of its mining regions by ignorant
hordes Of pauper Europeans. Churches.
schoolhouses, and colleges abound through
out the State. Eleemosynary institutions
sud other charitable enterprises are nu-
merous and richly endowed
But Pennsylvania politics IS rotten to
the core. Its body polite reeks with cor
ruption. Elihu Roots Characterization of
the rascally outfit in Philadelphia is ap-
plicable to the dominant political organi-
cation Of the state. "A corrupt eonbina-
ton masQuerading as Republicans" is
what AIr. Root said of the old crowd in
Philadelphia; and the people of that town,
seized suddenly by a spasm of reform,
drove the masqueraders from power, only
10 reinstate them in their last election.
The legislature now in session at Har-
risburg has shown neither the capacity
nor the disposition TO respond to the cry
ing need Of the time. The majority of
the members OF that body only chuckle
over the astounding revelations Of graft
in the capitol building. On top Of the
disgraeefuI state Of their public affairs.
they have doubled their own salaries.
Democrats and Republicans alike voted
for this increase. Henceforth Pennsvl-
vania's lawmakers will draw from their
State treasury for the terms Of their in
cumbeney larger compensation than is
paid TO legislators by any other State.
On Monday the legislature killed a bll
providing for & civil service law. What
else it has done along this line is IN
necessary here TO recount.
WHAT'S the matter with Pennsylvania
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11
The oPTIMIsT.

used to think him an awful bora at
school-old Epictetus, whose quaint phi
fosoDhy We used TO groan over, trying 70
translate it. when We would fain be out
OF doors. But now treasure o brown
PACED volume Git fits snugiy in the poek-
etl; THE Manual OF Epictetus: Being an
Abrldgment OF His Philosophy" For
tunately for one who left his Greek and
Latinity behind him with his school days,
one Doctor Of Divinity, George Stanhope.
hath translated Il for me. I am con-
stantly running across. IN this little vol
ume, things that are helpful. Here IL one
III upon this morning:
II you happen TO be tod ct any time that an
other persoa hath spoken III Of you, never tr0uble
yourself 70 confute the report, excuse the thing
but rather pat all up with this reply; That you have
seFeEal other faults besides that and that u he had
known you more be would have spoken worse
It IS not only that EDictetus Is true IN
what he says; his truth is so comforting.
III can be spoken about all OF Us; spoken
in anger. maliciously. and with intent TO
hurt and how far short of what we in
our hearts know to be the truth It will
really be If our slanderers only knew
the real truth about US. what choice NOR
sells they would have.
Should such z reflection make Us sad +?
By no means, There are none OF us who
aspire 10 be saints.
We are not children or gods.
But II 4 world Of men
It is a blessing 10 think that before
one can be the mark for slander one must
have achieved somewhat Dives at his
banquet board Is the target for every
envious tongue; Lazarus. IN his kennel,
goes by untouched.
Has. then. slander the power to hurt
usT Not a whit. On our own heads be
our sins which must be paid for one
by one" But talking about them can
neither magnify nor take away from
them What errors we have made shall
inevitably hurt ourselves more than 9th
ers-they are not to be talked about
thought about, even. There IS one great
value to be gained from the mistake we
have made, and that is 70 so use It that
we may do the Ike no more
Whatever the world says, remember
with Epictetus. that did it know al the
truth IL could speak worse. So, with a
deaf ear 10 the chorus, turn "a shining
morning face" TO the duties Of the day
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11

sumers OF the world. He gives to them
the renewed assurances of his profound
esteem.
But #, in the future. the subject IS TO be
treated otherwise than in the cold and
callous formula Of an Official report If ali
the facts and 1gures are to be invested
with an air Of romance, and If a genial
and persuasive humor is TO permeate
every paragraph, then. indeed, oar es-
teemed consul general must yield TO
greater genius. The paean viii be sung in
sweetest, eleaTest tones by Mr.. Mullany.
the poet-laureate OF Fourteenth street,
whose fame is not unknown TO our es-
teemed consul general at London.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11
a NEW COKsTRUCTIONIST.
Connecticut Paper Not Impressed
with the FarFar Railroad scheme.

Connecticut Paper Not Impressed
with the FarFnr Railroad scheme.
From the Hartford Times
President Roosevelt is so much delighted
with a newly discovered method Of con-
Notwithstanding that he has asked .he
discoverer. Judge z. II. Farrar, OF New
Orleans, TO publish the letter in which
its merits are explained. Judge Farrar
suggests that under the clause Of the con-
stitution which authorizes Congress TO
establish post roads, il may proceed to
assume complete control Of all the rail-
roads Of the country. It will be, as the
New York Sun says, a beautifully simple
arrangement. AS summarized by the
orrfi. s.Ge aI rar proposition IS that the
Federal government may regulate their
organization and mana cement their capi-
tai stocks and debts and issues of securi-
ties, their operations down to the small
est particulars, the qualifications and per
sonnel or their employees, the conduct OF
their officials. the relations Of their en-
plOyes 10 each other as feliOW-ssrvants.
the interchange Of cars, freights, and pas
sengers with each other, and all the rates
they charge for passenger and freight
even within State lines, but also their
relation 10 the several State governments.
Congress can emancipate these corpora
tons from all State Interference and con-
troll. can protect them from the State
courts, and from State and municipal
taxation"
But why stop with the railroads, under
plan so simple? Why not have the Fed
erai government take possession Of all
roads, including the streets Of our cities
because, some time or other, a mali bag
may have been, or, may be. transported
over them? II We do not yet have a form
OF government IN this country as simple
and as satisfactory as that OF Russia OF
Turkey it will nor be the fault OF this
New Orleans reconstructionist, or Of the
gentleman IN Washington, BY whose re-
quest his able proposition 70 revolutionize
our whole Federal and State system by
act of Congress Is communicated 10 the
A
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11
An EmInent Authoritv on Reer

The archives OF the Bureau of Manu-
features have recently been enriched by a
valuable essay on the production and con-
sumption Of beer from the pen of that
eminent statistician and authority, the
Hon, Robert J. Wynne, consul general at
London The subject is one that ap-
parently appealed to MIR. Wynne, for il
IS exhaustively treated with an array OF
figures that evidences much research.
The language is simple and direct, car
rying conviction TO every heart
Mr.. Wynnes careful study Of the beer
question demonstrates. FIRST Of all, that
Belgium is the greatest beer-drinking ma
tion in the world. with a consumption Of
49 gallons per capita. Here, indeed, is a
country with men of much capacity
and appreciation, whose worthiness in
vokes the consul generals lyric genius.
Forty-nine gallons per capital What q
Utilization of the palate, what assuage-
ment OF thirst in so much foamy. frOthy
drink! No wonder that the Belgians are
enshrined in the gallery of noble heroes
whom Wynne wOrships. The Englishmen
come next in his regard, for they consume
an average Of nearly 30 gallons per in
dividual, while the people Of the United
States come third in the list AS for
the Frenchmen. they deserve no con-
sideration whatever. a paltry z gallons
per annum! It is not enough to wet the
smallest whistle.
When II comes to writing Of the pro-
ductiOn of beer, AIr. Wynne literally revels
in large figures. His pen gIides with
envious ease across the Official stationery
as he records the L601. .000.O00 gallons "a
the credit OF Germany The United
States comes next with I.a2,004000 gal
Ions. while Great Britain takes third place.
Here are veritable oceans Of beer. wherein
all the schOoners that ever foated across
a bar could be safely anchored. Billions
and billions Of gallons Of beer. No won
der that the fluent and eloquent pen OF
the consul general fingers long ana low
ingly upon the theme. With great re-
preston he avoids falling into poetry.
but between the lines we read the
rhapsodies Of his soul and know that he
makes his profonndest salaam to the con-
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11
WHY HATCH CONFUsIONY
Southern Paper Advises Democrats
How TO Treat Tariff.

From the Charleston News and Courier
The particular kind of tariff to be
advocated" says the New Orleans States.
and the scope and extent of Federal
control OF public utilities viii be the two
hard problems 10 be met by the Demo-
cratic National convention. and on these
the conservatives and radicals viii di-
vide"
On the contrary. there viii be but one
view in the convention about the tariff.
and the Democrats will be able TO unite
on clear and certain deliverance in re-
gard to it just as they united in 1892
when they elected Mr. Cleveland Presi-
dent Equally positive is IL that no two
Democrats can agree on the scope and
extent of Federal control Of public utilI-
ties" Therefore, it is safe and plain
for the Democrats 10 strongly declare
themselves for the reform of the tariff.
an issue amply and big enough 70 carry
the country on. and shove aside into sec
ondary consideration all questions out Of
which nothing better than party confu-
sion and dispersion can be hatched.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11
The Editorial stan.

From the Tattler.
From the following conversation be-
tween two inhabitants Of one of the
States Of the American wild West il
would appear that editing over there IS
a more serious matter than it is in the
Taller Office, with all its troubles:
7 understand that Crimson Guleh has
a newspaper
YES answered Broneho Bob. but the
fellers around here is so sensitive that
they dasn't print anything about EN-.
Its editorial stan must have many dif-
fculties"
Mister, that amt any editorial sta1.
That's a suicide club.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11
MEN AND THINGS.
raft's List Growing.


A little more than a year ago a Wash
ington newspaper man who had been
particularly active in agitattiiEEsss the Taft
candidacy ulder inspiration from the
White House. called for the first time
since the publications had begun and
Congratulated the War Ministse upon
tue growth OF his boom.
Look here" said the Secretary, trying
TO look solemn, I'm making a list Of all
you fellows. and I've headed it with your
name. The title OF the list is my ID. D
F. Fs.
"And what do these eabalistic letters
mean, STRIP inquired the newspaper man
Guess" replied the Secretary. some
what sterniy. Guess. sirr' he added. with
emphasis. If you can't make 1t in two
guesses I'll tell you"
ID. D. F. Fs.,' mused the newspa-
per man. Dear, Delightful, Faithful
Friends" he exclaimed triumphantly.
Wrong. sir.' growled the Secretary,
'"rry again, sir"
Dear. Deceived, Fool Friends" mur-
INJURED the news man, becoming a little
uncertain OF his powers OF divinatiOn.
Substitute for the word Deceived the
word the newspapers generally indicate
BY a blank and you'll have il, sir,' Or
dered Judge Taft, his repressed amuse-
ment exploding in a roaring laugh.
rs that list Of yours growing?" asked
the newspaper man Of the Secretary, yes
terday.
The reply was laugh more thunderous
and reverberating than the other one
here mentioned.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11
Not Wanted.

Word comes from Paris that a scientist
over there has an invention that will
make q detailed record Of mans
thoughts This Is interesting, but it will
never be popular Few men think
thoughts that they would care to pre-
serve. more especially If taken Unawares
BY q prOwieT with a snapshot think-re-
corder. OF course IT might be possible 10
train the mind to sit for a mental picture
as 1t were, but there are few men who
could look pleasant while doing IL.
Besides. what a lot OF mischief this
TepTehensible machine could do. No man
would feel safe as long as he thought Il
was I'm the neighborhood.
No, the Frenchman would do humanity
a much greater and Tar more satisfying
service by perfecting a new can opener
OF an original cough cure.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11
SUGGESTION TO MIR. BRYCE.
Book on ''What Might Have Been
Would BE Interesting.

Would BE Interesting.
From the Boston Journal
MIR. James Bryce ought TO be induced
by some enterprising publisher TO write
a book developing the suggestions which
he made IN his Philadelphia speech. Mr..
Bryce outlined some of the things that
might have happened If the American
Revolution had not taken place, He
names:
The slower. and perhaps, better growth
of America; solution Of the slavery prob
lem without bloodshed avoidance OF the
French revolution; a quickening of ehe
democratic spirit In Great Britain; the
elimination of many OF the problems of
the Federal government.
The British Ambassador is a student,
a philosopher, a statesman. and a his
torian. He is assured a great market in
America for anything he viii produce.
Certainly ne has outlined a work, or a
series Of essays that would have interest
far beyond the American continent
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11
John A. Johnson Ahead

From the Charleston News and Courier.
Charles A CuIberson can carry the
solid South; William Jennings Bryan can
carry the country except the solid North,
West, and East; John A. Johnson can
carry Minnesota and the solid South and
may be counted nine votes ahead of either
in the electoral college.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11
Turned Down.

From London TitBits.
Yes" said subbubs. sighlng. ''the only
girl I really cared for couldn't have"
What exclaimed the visitor; that
doesn't sound very complimentary 70 Mrs.
Subbubs"
'Oh, she felt as badly about 1t as I do.
You see the girl wanted e20 a year, and
we can't afford more than e13 or e14"
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11
Died in Penury.

Edmund q. Ross. Of whom mention was
made in this column a few weeks ago,
died the other day al Santa Fe, y. Mex.
broken by age. and distressed by penury.
Il was his vote that saved President An
drew Johnson from conviction on the i'm
peachment charges preferred by the
House. Mr. Ross was then a Senator
froia Kansas, his colleague being the no
tori0us P0meroy. Senator Ross vote for
Johnson meant his political death. and
this nobody knew better than himself. for
Immediately after giving it he said II Gen.
John B. Henderson, now a resident Of
this city, and then a Republican Senator
from Missouri: II realize that I have
this day dug my grave with my own
hands" Gen. Henderson also was one OF
the seven Republican, Senators who voted
for johnson. The feeling was so bitter
against Ross IN Kansas that his life was
endangered for a while out there. and as
he was unable 20 make living 10 that
State he eventually moved away TO New
Mexico, where he became the editor of q
small newspaper at Santa Fe. President
Cleveland appointed him governor Of the
Territory in 1855. Gov. Ross feaTlessiy
and mercilessly exposed rascality IN the
Territory, and fought uucompTomisingly
every form Of official corruption with
which New Mexico at that time reeked
This made him so unpopular that when
AfF. Cleveland was defeated for re-eiec-
tion and Ross was again forced into
private life he had 10 return TO his trade
al a printer in order to earn a livelihood.
He stuck 10 the ease until the inhrmi-
ties Of age wholly united him for work
and thereafter lived in poverty and want
He was eighty years old when he died
No sort OF private or official misconduct
ever stained his record
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11
A. Good a. ourn.

From the Chicago Record Herald.
Prof Lowell, OF the Flagstaff Observa-
tory, has made observations which induce
him TO believe that the mean temperature
on Mars is about At degrees Fahrenheit.
He may be wrong, but It is a safe guess
that whatever the weather may be on
Mars during other months the Aprils and
NAYS up there are at least as good as
nIIra
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11
A Famous RepubIienn

From the Charleston News sad Courier
Jesse Littleton, a Tennessee Republican
is now famous, having come OUT
against a third term for Roosevelt
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11
Explained.
From the Philadelphia Press.

From the Philadelphia Press
These hot cakes said the fussy old
lady in the light lunch cafe. ARE not as
big as they were the last time I was
here"
These is flannel cakes, said the bright
waiter. an flannel, yer know. viii
shrink
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11
Adding InsuIt to Iniury.

From the Buffalo Express.
1t Is a contemplate game to make the
school children Of Oregon contribute their
pennies in aid Of the north pole expedition,
which, IL successful, viii give them more
to study about
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11
And Wac Instructed nv n

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Mr. Stead says his visit 10 this country
has been one OF the happiest and most
instructive of his life. II is pleasant to
think that somebody enjoyed 1t.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11

cover in the entire baseball armament. It
is only when Bugs" is in the box that
the Charleston team is able 10 get there
with every foot.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11
A Weighty Reason.

From the New York Herald
Perhaps Senator Foraker climbed on the
Taft band wagon so early in the game be-
cause he realizes that when the candidate
gets aboard there viii be mighty little
room left.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11
lis nnIr Omen sennon.

From the Atlanta Constitution
The Washington Herald maintains a de-
partmeRt headed The Optimist" Isn't
this rather superfiuous in view Of the fact
that Congress adjourned some weeks ago?
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11
As .Lr. Harriman vi Agree.

From the Augusta Chronicle
| NJ. Paul DOumer announces that when
| in America recently he was struck with
Mr.. Roosevelt's simplicity. Better that
than the big stick
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11
Acute or Chronics

From tho Ohio sun.
Washington officials say the dispute be-
tween Mexico and Guatemala is acute.
There has been a general impression that
disputes among the Central American re-
publfcs are chronic
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11
PLAIN DEALS.

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
BIAX.
The sky is gray,
And north winds play
The ivelong day.
Far. far, away
'Tis warm, they say,
But here lis May.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11
A sharp Turn,

Have any trouble on your auto trip?'
only once. That was on one OF thosS
crooked Boston streets"
"Stalledg''
NO, cTamped."
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11

Strange things sometimes happen in
Washington. For example. A prominent
politician visited the White House re-
Gently, and admitted when he came away
that he and the President discussed the
political situationi
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11
Secretary Taft's Comment.

From the New York Mail
Secretary Taft is seldom ambiguous
But his comment on the jamestown Ex-
position is that "it win be all right when
il is finished. +"
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11
A Pertinent Suggestion.
Frnm the Boston Journal.

IIull lIIa lll1'IIlI VlIlI llaI
According to Dillon Wallace. the noted
Labrador explorer, It is a pleasure to
starve. clearinghouse keepers should
have hls words framed and prominently
displaYad.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11

fAddicks is getting down to something
near his size when he threatens TO run
for mayor Of Wilmington. Del" says the
Concord Monitor. What did Wilmington
ever do to the Monitor to justify such a
knOck2
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11
Has It's Ups and Downs.

From tha Austin Statesman.
In the very Eecerr past the thermometer
has been jumping up and down at a
rather rapid rate for this time Of year.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11

Received Of spring, one real May day,
Thanksi Further remittances viii be ap-
preeiated.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11

or course. Mr.. Roosevelt win not expect
such as jumping hurdles playing tennis.
and walking all the ginger out Of his
bOdygUards.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11

A contemporary suggests an ad valorem
tariff tax on titled foreigners coming TO
America ia search Of heiresses What
good would it do? II would not Increase
the customs receipts as much as thirty
cents
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11

Missouri has been having haiIstorms Of
stones big enough 20 crack peoples heads
OF course, the Houston Post viii now
claim that the Texas hailstones frequently
break. peoples backs.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11

Americans do not recognize genius, 3"
says Mr.. George Bernard Shaw They
DO not? Very few Americans have 10 be
informed as TO the identity OF Dir. Shaw
OF 1Ir George NJ. Cohan.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11
Familiar Words.

The north pole had been tagged.
Ditto the south pole
We are undOne." exclaimed the ex-
plorers in unison. An IS dis coveredt"
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11

Mr.. John Lawrence Sullivan may felici-
tate himself upon the fact that he climbed
into the Taft bandwagon before the gen.
eral scramble commenced.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11
Necessary.

why does Chalkley put a powerful
headlight on both front and back Of his
machine?"
Because his car moves so slowly you
cant tel whether IL IS going or coming"
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11

stili, no one ever expected TO see Mr..
George B. Cox turning the other cheek
like that.
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11
ALITTLE NONSENSE.
an RACING nAYs.

The Natchez was a wondrous boat,
The fleetest Of the feet.
When there was no more wood 70 tot
They fired her up with wheat.
Her fires the captings shoes would &c
And every drummer's grip
All, those We're palmy days, you bet,
Upon the Misslssip'
The Creole Belle. the r. z. Lee,
Were packets OF renown.
For miles the planters drove 70 see
Them racing by town.
They'd burn three million hams, egad,
Between EN- on a trip.
All, those were palmy days, my LAD,
Upon the Aiississip
One time the Creole fired with bales
And won splendid race.
The Matches had a load OF nails
And couldn't go the pace.
But those old days have all gone by.
No more the gauges drip.
No more the proud old packets ply
Upon the Mississip
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11
American Poets

You've no poets,' some one honers.
Does he know # IS a crime
For a man who can make dollars
To devote himself 70 rhyme2
The Washington herald., 1907-05-11

That Chicago man who changed his
name from Jan Jankowski 10 John Smith
was undoubtedly under the impression
that he was selecting the most popular
name in the country, and he was right