davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
IHerrina a Slow GROWING Fish,

According to recent reports of scien.
tihc investigators, the herring is a
fish of slow growth. When one year
old 1t is barely two and one.quarter
inches In length. Not until II ia five
years old does 1t reach maturity and
spawn. Then 1t is of an average
length of nine and three eighths inches.
Herring over ~ inches long may be
ten years old and more; and the large
specimens that are occasionally
caught, measuring from IA to 10
inches, are probably over 10 years old,
and may be 20.
An interesting method which has
been adopted to trace the migration
of the fish consists In marking some
OF them while in the seine net with
a printed silk tag and setting them
free, Over 500 have been thus
marked, but, so far, only five have
been caught again. and these were
near the place Of Liberation.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
scientIsts and the eaellII.

A capital story is being told of
a scientific man who Is known
all over the world for his re-
searches into bacteria. The other day
at an afternoon party he was given
by his hostess some of the first straw
berries Of the year, and it was noticed
that before he ate them he dipped
each strawberry most carefully into
a tumbler of water. His hostess ask.
ed him why he did this. and he replied
that It was on account OF the mi.
crobes, Of which there are about two
millions on each fruit. After he had
eaten half n dozen strawberries he
felt thirsty, and without thinking what
he was doing he drank the water in
which he had been washing the fruit
His hostess tried 20 stop him, but II
was too late. ooh, Doctor" she ex-
claimed, you have swallowed l2,000,-
900 microbes" Good heavens, so |
have" said the scientist, and then
added philosophically, after a pause.
well after all, it does not matter
much"
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
Marse Henry's Monopoiy,

When Louis Brownlow. now a
Washington correspondent, was a re-
porter on the Louisville Courier
journal. he was sitting at the tele-
phone table In the local room one
night waiting for a call.
The office dictionary is kept on that
table. Brownlow was turning the
leaves idly VIII Marse Henry Waiter.
son came along.
Marse Henry does not see very
well. He made out a figure at the
table and said: who's that?"
"Brownlow. Mr.. Watterson."
What are you doing, Brownlow?"
I'm reading the dictionary"
We'll. skip the adjectives. skip the
adjectiyes, for I'm the only one on
this paper who can use them."-Sat.
urday Evening Post.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
MAKE DUTY BURDEN
SOME PEOPLE HAVE TOO MUCH
CONSCIENCE.
Mr.. 6illtops Pursues the Subject FOR
a Little. with a Concrete Illus.
tration-FeW Seem &c Be
Perfectly Balanced

DUTY sits Hight m some. but, said
Mr.. Billtops, how hard on others.
"Now. YOU take Mrs. Rilltops. what
do you think she said TO me the other
day? That she was afraid she
wouldn't have everything cleaned up
when she died.
"She don't mean, you know, that
she wouldn't leave everything clean;
but what she meant was that she was
afraid she wouldn't leave everything
in order and all the mcnding done
and all that, 50 that it all could be car.
riod along easily without her; that
she wouldn't leave everything all
cleaned up.
What do you think Of that for an
exaggerated, burdensome sense OF
duty?
"Tve tried to reason with Mrs, Bill.
tops about this, but It's no use. She
does her duty as she sees II. and by
her light her duty is plain; II Is to
work, work. not for herself but for
others.
"She is very lenient with everybody
else, but she never spares herself.
Whatever work there is to be done
she considers it her duty to do, and
so she labors morning. noon and night,
and day after day. | have told her
that I'd like her to be slack for a time,
downright slack; that she ought to let
things go, occasionally anyway, and
rest a little: but she says that would
never do; that II she once let things
go she'd never catch up. And as It is.
as | told you, she's afraid she won't
leave everything cleaned up when she
dies!
And so she works on; never salts.
fed unless everything Is done just so.
and always at It; self.dcuying always.
but with that sense OF duty always
wearing IN her, impellinE her always
to work, work, work. And | suppose
there are $1,000, 900 other women that
work in just the same way. though I
am not so sure, either, than n one
Of them works Just as Mrs, Billtops
does, so unselfshly and so devotedly.
Il would give $3.50. or more. II |
could stop her, but she says we are
poor, and the work must be done,
though | know II would be just the
same II w were rich, that her sense
Of duty would stiIl Cypress her, for
she's built that way. Duty sits hard
on her.
"A grand thing It would be for all
Of us II we could really know our duty
and could perform 1t faithfully to the
full, and yet not let It Impose upon us
undue burdens, not let cur sense of
duty harry us.
There are people now and then
to he met who, well knowing their
duty and performing It faithfully and
fully, o failing ever to take up cheer.
fully others burdens when they should,
yet know as truly what burdens they
may in all fairness and kindness de-
cline; well balanced people these.
who see clearly and are not in doubt.
the few rare people who know what Is
right and who are by that knowledge
guided, to- their own great help and
no loss TO that Of all with whom they
may be associated.
Would that We were all thus hap
PLY constituted
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
a Batfled Plot.

George wanted to make 1t disagree
able for the unpopular aunt who was
coming to visit them, and hired u
hand.organ man to play in front of the
house all the afternoon on the day she
arrived. When he came home at night
his wife met him at the door.
George, there was a haud-organ
msn playing in front OF the house all
the afternoon. | tried to drive him
away and he wouldn't so. 1t was real
ly dreadful
George chuckled.
And how did auntIe like IT,"
"Auntie! Why, she couldn't hear a
sound. She's grown so awfully deaf.
you know"
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
His Future Assured.

William Volgt, the criminal hero Of
the famous Kopenick adventure, has a
pleasant future before him when he is
released from prison in 1910. The
committee which was formed last
winter to promote his welfare an.
have been received to give him a
freehold residence, a Workshop for
his cobbling and a pension. Moreover,
no fewer than 1873 have writ
ten Offering to marry him. The ma.
jority of the ladies are German, but
two American girls and one English
widow are among the number.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
Held Up.

Stop" shouted the man on the
country road. holding up a warning
hand. Muttering something about
rural cops, the automobilist obeyed.
Turn around and come back to
town with me-" said the stranger
You were going at least thirty-five
miles an hour"
You're a constable, | suppose
said the automobilist, with a covert
sheer, when they had reached the vii
lage.
"Me?" replied the passenger. "No,
I'm a farmer, and had to come into
town when all the teams was busy,
Nice growing weather? Thanks. Good
bye"
Ensuing comment is purposely omit.
ted
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
Rreakinn II TO Him.

Doctor, | suppose I'm an old fool,
| have made a discovery that gives
me some une%asiness."
What Is II, Kadger?"
II was passing my hand owe my
head the other day, and | found one
place that's IA good deal hotter than
any other spot. I thought It was all
Imagination at first. but It isn't. Put
your hand on the top of my head.
pretty well back. There. that's the
place. Doesn't It feel hotter than
the rest of my head?'
ut certainly does
well, now, | am anxious to know
what that means. If 1t indicates that
there's too much brain pressure at
that particular spot. | want to know
II, Is 1t serious?'
"Kadger, It Is"
IL feared so. Tell me the truth.
doctor, no matter what II is.
81 hesitate to tell you, because"
Doctor, ! insist on knowing"
well, II you must know, Kadger,
that particular place on Sour head
feels hot to your hand because you're
getting a bald spot there"
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
How to Clean Marble,

For the marble washstand try rub.
bling with lemon Juice first to remove
stains. II this does not remove all
stains rub them with a cloth moist.
ened with spirits OF salts. This is ex.
cellent for removing stains. but II
used often makes the surface rough
and liable to catch the dirt, so should
be kept as a last esource only. Re.
member, TOO, that unless It Is care,
fully used 1t will burn the hands.
For the nickel clean exactly as you
would silver, or, II the article will
not come in contact with food. u,e
either OF the many good metal polish.
en- that are on the market or bath.
brick and t%urpentine, polishing after.
ward with dry whiting.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
Advice Discounted,

Senator Burrows was asked for ad.
vice recently by a newspaper CORE.
spondent. He gave the advice, but
afterward, smiling and shaking his
head, he said:
advice is a thing | am always
chary about extending. Il Is, you
know, so cheap, so easy.
"a boy. the other day. was push,
ing a heavy push cart up a hill. Tho
hill was steep, the boy thin. He bent
forward at the work TIN he was al.
most horizontal.
"'Hi. boy called an old man, push
the cart up The hill zigzag, from side
TO side, and you'll find it will go
easier
"The boy snarled back:
Not so much o. yer darn advice.
Give us a shove"
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
How II Happened.

Jones had a vegetable garden in
which he took a great interest, Brown,
his next'door neighbor, had one also,
and both men were especially interest.
ed In their potato patches,
One morning, meeting by the fence,
Jones said:
How Is It, Mr.. Brown, YOU are
never troubled with caterpillars. while
my bushes are crowded with them?"
My friend, that is very easily ex.
claimed" replied Mr. RroYu. II rise
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
CaI:sed by kissinq,

Eva-Do you consider kissing dele.
terious to the health?
Jack-I don't know. | kissed a girl
one time and black spots came before
my eyes.
Eva-Gracious! Wa It heart dis.
ease?
Jack--No; she wore a veil.-Chi.
cage News.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
A Pertinent Query,

You are a millionaire" said Mr..
Dustin StaX.
Il am" answered the young man
with matrimonial intentions.
Then it is needless to ask II you
can support my daughter in the style
TO which she has been accustomed
Il don't know" was the thoughtful
r%ejoinder, Does she play bridge
whist ?"-Washington Star.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26

Mrs. Hobson-I wish | had some
thing to read. Did you get only n
Sunday paper?
Mr.. Housewives. my dear, but 1t 10
In two parts.
Well, let me have one while you
are reading the other"
Certainly, my love. Which half
would you prefer, the political half
or the sporting half?"-N. Y. Weekly.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
An Australian Scooter.

When Prof, Starr Jordan was in
Australia he said In the course OF an
address: III Great Britain were in
trouble there is not a mar in the
United States who would not be as
ready as yourselves to serve in such
a war, for blood is thicker than wa.
ter" To which statement THE Brls.
bane Worker replies: "Molasses is
thicker than either, and the professor
Is an expert In ladling out the
treaCle."
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
FORTUNE FOR FAIR PRINCESS.
Twenty Million Dollars Is Nest Egg
She Inherited.

Americans as well as Europeans
who know her express delight at the
good fortune of Princess Henry OF
Pless in inheriting, with her husband.
$40, O00, 900, a comfortable addition to
their modest fortune. The money Ia
derived by the popular couple from
the estate of the duke Of Plcss, whom
nobody on this side of the water knew
well, and who had few friends even
IN England. Princess Henry, m the
other hand. gained the hearts Of many
as Daisy West. II was by that name
she was known to most Of her &C
quaintances before her marriage,
though in strict formalitv she was
Miss Cornwallis.West She was be.
throthed to Prince Henry at the end
OF her first season in society. The
duke Of pless lived a life OF almost
feudal formality at F~urstcnsteln. their
splendid Renaissance castle in the
borders Of Bavaria. 1t must have re-
qulred, indeed. power of adaptability
in an English girl to take up the post
ton Of a sort OF queen among the
peasantry there, driving about mag
nihcently in a carriage drawn by Arab
grays, ridden by postillions in claret.
colorcd coats and white beaver hats.
Still, Princess Henry has made the
life at Furstenstein quite pleasantly
informal, and most of the time Is
spent, when she %entertalns English Or
German friends there. in riding or
driving in the beautiful woods or val.
leys near Prince and Princess Henry
of Pless spend a good deal Of the year
in London, and they are oftener yer
in England for the Cowcs week, Their
little son was baptized in London two
years ago, It may be remembered.
The queen stood sponsor, and the
ceremony was a splendid affair.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
Gives Warning Of a Storm

In the Bay of Biscay frequently dur,
ing the autumn and winter in calm
weather, a heavy sea gets up and rolls
in on the a four and twenty hours
before the gale which causes It ar,
rives and of which 1t Is the prelude.
In this case the wave action, gener,
ated on the other side of the Atlantic
by the wind, travels at a much greater
rate than that of the body Of disturbed
air, and thus gives warning OF the
coming storm.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
Masters Gentle Hint.

The story goes that a pretty young
lady once played in class a ballad by
Chopin in a very amateurish way.
List walked up and down the room
excitedly murmuring: Heiliger BIN.
BAN! HeilIger Bimbam!" Uhe equiv,
alent, apparently, OF Great Scot!")
But when she had finished he went
up to her In a most friendly manner,
laid his hand upon her head as II in
benediction, and said, gently: My
dear child, marry Dor GOOD.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
It's SuperiorIty Proved.

Mrs. Gadsby-And you liked Rome
best Of all the European cities you
visited?
Mrs. Newrlche enthusiastically
It's far superior to all the others!
Why, my dear, in Rome one can buy
souvenir postals for a penny that cost
two or three times as much anywhere
else!-Puck.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
THE WAY IT DIDN'T HAPPEN.

Mother" said little Willie Jones.
III there's no work TO do.
ia like to join the other boys
And go In swimming. too"
There's not a bit OF work TO day.
Said Willie's mother kim:
IT'S useful to know how to swim.
So go-I do not mind
Father sald Willie TO his pa
When he had older grown:
"fd like To smoke and wish that !
A brlar pipe might own"
And so you shall" said Willie's pa.
Proud OF his manly son:
And to the store he went to buy
A real expensive one.
Dear folks said Willie to them all
When he was twsnty-three.
Il love Marie. and we're engaged
And married soon will be-
w love her SOL She's just the girl
The only girl for you we'd choose!'
which goes to prove these lines are fslst
And writ but to amuse.
Clifford Trcmbly. In Puck.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26

Il hall make you love me yet" de-
clared Mr., Stinjay, determinedly. II
shall leave no stone unturned."
All! that sounds something like!"
exclaimed the fair girl. III the stone
weighs not less than a karat and is
pure white you may interest me-
PHILADELPHIA Press.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
Handled Him Some

Mr.. Jawback-What do you mean
by saying that Jones is more or less
handsome?"
Mrs. Jawback-Well, he's more
handsome than you, and less hand
some than most of the men | know
Cleveland Leader.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
Liar.

He adored her. but his pride was
very great.
Elsie" he faltered, do you love
me?"
Above the boom Of the sea her
voice sounded clear and cold.
NO" she said, mo, Mr.. Manner,
ing"
lie laughed unpleasantly.
Well" he sGid, "a feared YOU did,
that was all, and | Just wanted to
warn you that | am already engaged ~
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
Misss.d.

You mus, miss your husband so,
Mrs. Widderly."
Yes. specially al meals. He could
ask the shortest blessing of anyone
| ever knew."--Csicago Record Her.
aid.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26

laws and regulations is all that is re
quired to insure that no olive oil be
sold MS such which contains any ad.
mixture Of other oils. The report Is
that the authorizations were confined
to oil for local consumption.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
lakes No Part.

He seems to be a good man, but
he cheats in a horse trade, How can
he reconcile that with his con.
s~cience?"
My dear sir, when a mar trades
horses his conscience always goes to
sleep"
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
Provided For.

Now back to town to buckle down
Will come the winter hoarders:
But winter will be kind to those
Who took In summer boarders,
Houston Post.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
Suicide Followed Peculiar whIm.

In London a photographer was called
O the house of "A wealthy man, whom
ne found dressed in the costume of
King Lear, lie posed and ordered
several pictures to be sent to friends.
Later the photographer learned the
nan had committed suicide.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
STATISTICS ON DIVORCES.

1t is figured that for the 2O-year
period from 1887 to 1906 the appli-
cations filed for divorce throughout
the country reached the total OF
100000, and probably on these
applications about 100000 d.
vorces were granted, In the 2O-year
period from 1867 to 1886 the num-
Der Of divorces secured was 32s 900.
Secure a good fat Office and cast
your cares uDon the manila
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26

DO you remember the first time
you ever saw lne?"
Very well"
What did you think"
Il thought II was a pity you had no
friend who was kind enough to tel,
YOU how "unbecoming your hat was
Chicago Record. Herald.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
A Nice Distinction.

hello! what dropped you here?"
exclaimed the man in the next coun.
ty.
1T wasn't a drop-kick at ALL" feebly
replied the poor fellow who had teen
monkeying with the mule, "Yr sure
1t was a punt"
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
Food for Thouaht.

Parishioner-That was an able ser.
of yours, doctor, | have no doubt, but
1t was a little too deep for me.
found 1t hard to digest.
The Rev. DIR. Fourthly-It ought to
have been easy for you, brother. |
had p~redigested it,-Chicago Tribune.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
The Castles Preferable.

find the gayest castles in the air
that were eve piled far better for
comfort and for use than the dun.
geons in the air that are daily dug and
governed out by grumbling, discon.
tented people. Ralph Waldo Emer,
son.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26

He seems to be a good man, but
he cheats in a horse trade. How can
he reconcile that with his con.
science"
MY dear sir. when a man trades
horses his conscience always goes to
sleep."-Chicago Tribune.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
Quite the Reverse.

Here" said Towne, rs a rather
clever little book-Don'ts for Club
men,"
Il don't see anything In that" re-
marked Browne; 1T isn't the 'don'ts'
that worry clubmen, it's the dues
Philadelphia Press.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
Toothless Combs.

"Pop!'
Yes, my SON"
Il saw a comb, to-day. without any
teeth, and II was being used on the
head"
Don't be silly, my boy
Honest, pop! 1t was a ROSTERS
comb."-Yonkers Statesman.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
Quits SimpIs,

Lady Ito nursemald) Caroline, see
you don't let the children sit on the
wet grass; they might catch cold. II
they are tired you u sit on II your
self and take them on your knee
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
Pink Wood for Piano,

A newly imported wood. used for
hlgh-class cabinet and plano work. 10
the Tasmanian myrtle, 1t Is a rich
pink color, moderately hard. and very
close grained.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
No Reason 10 Be Sad.

Full many a rose is born to blush unseen.
Fun many a gem will never CLEAN be-
fore us:
But let us nc neglect TO be serene,
The pretty girls keep getting In the
chorus.
Chicago Record Herald.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
To Be erouoht Out Ono, a w,,k

A good many people have an idea
that religion isn't worth while unless
1t is worn with Sunday clothes Chi.
cagO Record Herald,
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
Wirued.

You used to say made you think
OF angels"
Yes, but now you buzz and stab
more like a mosquito Houston
Post,
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26

Bill Shark-Why didn't you swim
for that dude who fell off the yacht7
Jim Shark-Oh. you see, he Is one
of those candy kids" and DR.. Lobster
forbade me to eat any sweets.-Chi.
cago Daily News.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26

gayety, 1t is the peak and pinnacle
Of London amusement, II is the most
English invention in England II Is
dinner"
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
Throwing Ava, What He Pays Fo

by george, | don't believe this mag.
azine is worth the price they charge
for It,"
NO wonder you feel that way. You
always teal the advertising pages out
the first thing. Chicago Record Her,
aid,
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
R~ETRIBUTION,

Sufferer-Do you extract teeth
without pain?
Dentist-Not always. | sprained
my wrist on n a couple of days
ago, and it hurts yet,-Spare Mo
ments.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
A DAY IN DONEGAL
%Rathmullan, the SpotIess
Town of Erin.
AMUSING IRISH ANECDOTES

Impressive Ruins Of the Old County
Where Phiiadelphians Come From
"A Sail Down Donegal eay-Meet.
lna with Seumas McMsnus.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26

very early in the morning, gather all
the c%aterpillars from my bushes, and
throw them into your garden
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26

Bill-Where in the world have you
Kept yourself so long?
Gill-Under cover, old pal.
Bill-Not bigamy, ! hope?
Gill-Nope; coal mining.-N. Y
Telegram.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26

A Toronto paper wants free street
,ars. but neglects to say whether II
also proposes to agItate for free gro
csries and building lotA
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
Meal That Lacks Salt.

what is the dullest and drearlest
hing on earth?" asks NJ. A. r., and
hen il answers the question thus: 1T
:. Nm nln M nlinnaN IL Innhnn
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1907-09-26
To Make Study o. Foods,

The department of agriculture ~
year will make a study Of foods wl