davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22

From the Detroit Free Press
LENT.
Nellie is keeping Lent.
She is wearing a suit Of gray.
In devOtOns her mornings are spent,
And candy sizes stunning to-day.
The theaters. oh, not at ali,
Though seats in the parquet were free;
What is worse. when upon her I call,
She even declines 10 see me
Nellie is keeping Lent
And stunning the pleasures of earth;
Her mind is now wholly intent
On spiritual matters of worth.
She's denying herself. but ] swear
When I called the fair maiden to see,
I was thunder-struck, Up-in-the-air,
When Nellie declined to see me.
1 think she is going too far,
I think she is overly Jealous;
can't think Lent's purposes are
To torture q man who is jealous.
Though she gives up her candy and cakes
The dance and her afternoon tea;
bas the religion that makes
Fair Nellie, through Lent give up me.
Two Masters.
CIerk-Sir. have come TO inform You
that I am going 20 be married.
Employer-Young man. have you neveI
heard the old saying NO man can serv,
two masters
One Request,
Ny dear said the ardent lover, vii
you grant me one reQuest?"
Yes. darling"
Please eat your onions on my Iodg
nights
ON the Way
They're busting off the book beer sign,
And soon il viii appear.
The open waists are now displayed.
For spring Is drawing near
But though the book beer sign you view,
There's danger in the air.
Oh. don't take off. / beg Of you.
Your heavy underwear
Oh, soon you'll hear the man who sees
The early robin first;
And soon the soda water fOunts
win start your sweetheart's thirst
And soon the street piano
VIII be sounding everywhere;
I But don't. I beg Of you. take of
Your heavy underwear
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22
Mr.. Burkett VIII Read.

In compliance with its fine old custom,
the Senate to-day Will listen to the read
ing of George Washington's Farewell Ad-
dress before il begins TO grind out legis-
lation. Mr. Burkett Of Nebraska. who
used TO be a teacher Of elocution. has
been selected to do the reading. and a
notable performance is expected. Aside
from this the Senate will pay no homage
TO the Father of Eis Country, unless OF
course. Senator Tillman should take IL
into his head TO submit some remarks on
what Washington would do If he should
revisit the pale glimpses Of the moon. MI
Tilman may do this in the course of a
running debate that is liable to break ont
at any time when the South Carolinian
is at his post,
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22
PhiindeIphia's Reform Movement

From the Philadelphia Ledger.
The reform movement has not been
fruitless. Though the Organization APP
pears TO be restored, it comes back with
out its former. power and actually on its
good behavior. If it should resume its
old jobbery. its old debaucl1ery of the bal
lot. its old contemptuous trifiing with
public rights and interests. il viii not 90
unchanenged as il did before. IL is true
that there IS now no organized opposition.
The City Party has fulfilled its mission
and the sO-called Democracy has sunk
out of sight But the people. IN these
two years, have found their power and
no man or set Of men viii again DEFY IT,
This is what has been achieved II we
have not gone ahead as fast or us FAR as
We hoped We have not gone backward
The effort has been earnest and sincere,
and the result need leave no reI.nlngs.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22
Punish Land Frauds.

FTom nc Jnlcas0 ITlDlht-
While this Congress viii not change
the land policy Of the government. there
is no reason why it should not vote the
money which the President wishes to
use for the detection and punishment of
land frauds. That such frauds are being
perpetrated on a grand scale is notori-
Gus, and it is the duty of Congress 10 do
all that lies in its power To stop the plum
dering OF the public domain
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22
FIXING THE BLAME.

If old Japan prefers to fight
The sun spot Is 20 blame:
II Teddy can't adjust il right.
The sun spot Is 10 blame
If railway trains leap from the track.
II steamers sail and ne'er come back.
II quakes and cyclones rent and rack
The sun spot Is 10 blame.
If iuymen fail 20 sprec
The sun spot Is 20 blame:
II tidal waves arouse the sea
The sun spot il 10 blame
If Standard Oil goes mp lot.
II microbes tie you in a knot
Why. what's She use Of getting hot
The sun spot IS 10 blame.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22
Did Loeb write That Tariff Letter:

Prom Inc New York Sun.
Is the mirror of truth yelled? Has the
uprght-downrlgh style given place to
combination of the Delphic, taffy
wrapped and e-the-honOr-to-be? Is
NJ. Roosevelt developing a second man
ner? Is he going in for a maximum Of
molasses and minimum of opinion?
Never believe it The excellent but
stumbling Loeb must be at the bottom
of this Talleyrandish note. Mr.. ROose-
Welt breaks out; ne doesn't evade.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22

The freak row at the jamestown EXPOSE
ton is To be known as ''The War Path
II It's like the balance of those interest
ing features connected with expositions,
il win require considerable wampum to
go ali the way down the line.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22

The orators viii fight it all out again
to-day about whether George Washington
chopped down that cherry tree OF not;
but it's q good story, all the same, and
ought TO be true if it isn't
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22
Why Arc They sim Unwrttten /.

From the Hartford Coursnt.
\ dozen blunt sentences over the sigma
ture of Theodore Roosevelt would make a
speedy readjustng of the schedules Of
1857 TO the present business needs of the
country and the plain requirements OF
justice not only probable, but inevitable.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
HIsToRY poEsN.T RErEAr.

Smart little G.
Washington Brown
Felled a big tree.
Brought il right down.
Owned up to dad.
Who. rather grim,
Larruped the tad
With a keen limb.
Little G.. Wash.
Tried il again.
Wasn't so rash
Told a lie when
Questioned by pap.
Caught in the lie
Whaled with a strap.
Oh, me, Oh, my!
G. W. now
Thinks men are queer.
Can't figure how
To a course steer
Says with a poUt,
Once in a while
Things should turn out
StOry-book style.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22

1T viii be unlawful hereafter to drink
whisky out OF bottle In Texas, says
the Cleveland Leader. OF course, IL is
going to De extremely annoying to get in
the bottle, but we presume the Texans
will DE equal 10 the emergency.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22
Early Evidence.

why did you cut down my cherry tree,
George?"
Because it was shading yonder plum
tree. father"
Then it was that Mr. Washington real
lied that he was the father Of a future
statesman.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22

A prominent Russian now in this eoun-
try says that successful revolt is i'm
pending in Russia and that il is 70 be led
by the navy. From this we infer that the
thing is to be a sort of submarine affair
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22
How to Treat "A Woman.

From the Kansas City Journal
Never give a woman pistol. and never
teach her how TO shoot. Better still.
never give her provOcation to shoot.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22

The prospects for the passage of Mr..
Williams good roads bill. carrying "a
IS O00. 900 appropriation, ought TO be pref
~ good. now that the anti-free pass law
is in full operation.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22
Sun Snof ExnInineh.

From the Kansas City Journal
a Pittsburg astronomer has discovered a
black spot on the sun. solar Pittsburg.
no doubt.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22

The Alabama legislature passed an
anti-free pass bill. and then accepted the
tender of a special train for New Orleans
and the Mardi Gras. What the country
editors Of Alabama are now saying to the
said legislature is more than a-plenty.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22

Jokesmith, spare that tree.
It served you well, ! vow,
In former years. and we
are getting weary now.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22

DR. woodrow Wilson denies that he
ever said Princeton was about to become
the recipient OF a record-breakng dona-
ton. Perhaps Il is only a mere million
ar two
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22

IF the bride at a wedding invariably
looks like queen what does the groom
look Hke2" asks the Montgomery Advcr-
tiser. Careful inquiry fails TO disclose any
one who ever noticed the groom AZ O
wedding.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22

With Rev. Anna, Leslie NJ. and George
Bernard all at large In that city at one
and the same time. Chicago may justly
claim TO be the most thoroughly Shaved
town in the world
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22
Missed "a Heap.

Washington not only never told lie"
began the Squedunk sage.
But he also never called Senator a
liar" Interrupted the Pohick philosopher
Them was dull times
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22

Speaker Cannon started to open ses-
sion of the House the other day at which
there was no one present but himself. He
must have chuckled audibly when he
changed his mind and didn't do if.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22
Washington.

He lived too soon. To much regret that
circumstance must now give rise. he
was the first in peace, and yet he never
got Nobel prize.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22

The President. perhaps a little obstinate
himself at times. has hardly reckoned
sufficiently with American obstinacy in
general in so pcrsistently adheriug to his
determination not to be a candidate to
succeed himself. The people of this
happy land have way of wanting things
they are told they must not have just
little bit more than they ever wanted
such things before.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22

Undoubtedly spring is upon us. Al
ready two prominent baseball players
have pulled of their annual II refuse 20
sign" turn.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22

of Utah seems to have clean. able, and
well-intentioned representative in the up
per House of Congress.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22

It seems that an earthquake like that
in California costs the princely sum OF
81 600, .O00. II Mr.. Rockefeller keeps on
foolng. Mr. Carnegie may buy some col
lege an earthquake for its laboratory.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22

The present South Carolina legislature
reelected Senator Tillman and abolished
the dispensaTy. This so pleased the
Charleston News and Courier that 1t now
demands better pay for the members.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22

The GROWER must 60" says the At
Ianta Constitution Are We to understand
that the Constitution wants to rush the
grOwler2
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22

Upon observing that Mr.. Rockefeller's
gift of So 900 is made available ION
or before April l. some OF the peda-
gogues have suddenly become bit
nervous
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22

Continual hammering will crack the
hardest stone" philosophically remarks
the wise Baltimore American. To the rock
pile with the knockers!
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22

The best thing on to-days programme
will be the rhetorical rehabilitation of the
late G. Washington at the hands of G.
Cleveland
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22
One More Might bankrupt Us.

From the ST. Louis PostDispatch.
With a House that passes rs pension
bills in ninety minutes. We may well hesi-
tate to begin another war.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22

Saws Mrs. Carrie Chapman Gait; "A
woman must train her husband and keep
him trained, just as one trains young
mule" Nevertheless, we do not mind
suggesting 10 Mrs. Gait that all hus-
hands are not from Missouri.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22
Happy DAYS.

There are no DAYS
Like the good old days.
When we were kids together.
They were the DAYS
When dad not I
Bought coal IN winter weather.
Milwaukee Sentinel
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22

A New York man started n run on a
bank merely las a practical joke" Such
an awfuily funny joker should be put IN
the foolish house for safe-keeping.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22

Joe Walcott. the prize fighter, will star
in Uncle Toms Cabin" Looks as If
Simon Lagvee is in a fair way TO get
what's coming 10 him at last.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22

The Supreme Court Of Mississippi has
decided that a boys right to climb
tree is inalenable. So is politicians
right to take the stump or take TO the
woods.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22

Facade, Facade"
Why is that hotel clerk yelling
Facade?' "
"Oh, he's from Boston. He means
Front"
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22

Chicago claims TO have the most scnsi-
bic women in the world. There has never
been any question about the Chicago
woman's immense understanding.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22

A Kansas court has ruled that donkey
cannot be eujoined from braying. Thus
once more Harry Lehr escapes the
clutches of the law.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22

The way to save the FilipinOs is to en-
franchise them and scatter them through
out the doubtful States.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22

After listening 10 a musical comedy,
a dying millionaire is said TO have 'fett
much better About dying, no doubt
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22

The Detroit Free Press cannot fathom
the meaning Of the phrase. THE roots
Of the spirit" Perhaps it's some kind OF
bitters
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22
BREAKFAST TABLE CHAT.

From the Detroit Free Press
LENT.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22

The Washington Herald Is del3Uered by
ecrrieT- in the District Of Columbia and az
4IerGHdTiG, Va, at 50 cents per naohiA'
daily aud Sunday, or at p cents per
month iCithout the Sunday issue.
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22

New York ONCE, Nsssau-Beekman Bldg. Lacoste =
Maxwell Managers
Chicago Ohioe Marquette Bldg, LsCOste Max
well. Managers
The Washington herald., 1907-02-22

Tsl,phons Main $500. private Branch EIehanE'.]
The daily Alaskan., 1907-04-05
Causne

Recently a wearIed looking little mother. carrying a small baby, boarded a street car and took seat next to two men who were earnestly engaged in conversation. Neither of the men was very handsome. and 1t must have required considerable nerve on their part to hand out their photographs among their friends unless the pictures bad been previously retOuched with BandpaNer. In few minutes the baby began to cry with reliable yelp that could be heard above the din of the street babble for half a block, and, with a grouchy glance at the young ster. one of the men arose and peevish- ly remarked to his pal:
 q think we had better sit over here, Jim"
 This mgaIlant act plainly embar- rasseC inc little mother, but she was equal to the occasion.
 Tt won't to bit of good to change your seats. gentlemen" said she In a finely sarcastic voice "The baby can see you quite as plainly over there as be could here"
The daily Alaskan., 1907-04-05
A Dying Glass.

In the glass collection at the Museum of Art in Dresden. Germany, there is a large drinking cup which stands apart from all other art objects under a heavy glass cover. It is Of Dutch workmanship, and the inscriptions cad style show that it was made early in the eighteenth century. The vessel is remarkable because 1t is known in the museum. says a Berlin paper, "as hay ing consumption which can be com muuicated to other objects of glass. On that account it Is isolated. There are remedies against this glass disease,
 which is usually developed because of dciocts in the glass mixture. but these have not been applied 10 the Dutch vessel iu order that the progress of the wasting disease may be observed"
The daily Alaskan., 1907-04-05
GREAT TIMf3
Five Score People Enjoy
 Banquet
Enjoy
EE-a2z3
- zI&IBR

Never in the history of Skagway was there 8 more brilliant function than the Elks. installation, banquet and dance at Elks' hall last night The age ard wisdom and the youth and beauty ot the city were there. More taan 100 persons sat at the banquet board after the in stallation and euloyed ;he sumPtuous menu and the interesting speeches.
 W. B. King, recently appointed district deputy grand exalted ruler of the Elss io- Alaska, was the installing officer. and later he served in the capacity of toastmaster. He pretaced the speeches by Oue of his own 10 which he spoke for the grand lodge and E.kdom in general.
 Toasts were responded 10 by d. M. Tanner, the retiring exalted ruler, who spoke on The Past Year. J. D. Stine- baugh, the incoming exalted ruler spoke on The Next Year, and Dr. F. c. Norman. spoke on the cardinal principles o. the Or~sL AuU -IS N1O'10' Fidelity. BroJherly Love and Char iGy."
 One ot the unique ceremonies ot the evening was the singing of Aud Lang Svns" st II o'clock, in accordance with an ElkS' custom.
 The dancing continued until after midnight.
 The following officers were Installed:
 J. D. Suue6augh, exalted ruler; George c. Miller, esteemed leading knight. George Blanchard, esteemed loyal knight. S. F. Cottrell, esteemed lscturing knight. M. 5. Whittier Sscretary: I. NJ. Jensen, treasurer, and Hugo CuEetrOreu, tyler
The daily Alaskan., 1907-04-05
ORDIANCE: NO. 82

Ordinance regulating the sale of poisons in the Town of Skagwsy. Be it ordained by tue Common Council of the Town of SkEgway.
 SECTION, l-Every apothecary, druggest, or other person, who shall sell and deliver any arsenic, corrosive sublimate, prussic acid, or any other substance or liquid sually denominated poisonous, without having the word "Poison" written or printed upon a label attached to the phisl, boz, or parcel, in which the same is sold, or who shall sell and deliver any tartar emetic without having the true name thereof written or printed upon label attached to the phial, box, or parcel, containing the saue, shall upon con. viction thereof before the Municipal Magistrate be deemed guilty of a mis- demeanor aud shall be fined not less than Five Dollars ,S5.O0) nor more than Twenty Five Dollars (S25.OOl.
 SECTION, 2-NO person shall sell or give any poison, or poisonous substance, without recording in book, 10 be kep for that purpose, he name of the per- son receiving said poison, and his or her residence, excepting upon the written order or prescription of me regularly authorized practiring physician, whose name must be attached to such order. Such book shall e kept open for in spection.
 Section 3-No person shall sell, give or dispose of any poison or poisonous substance except upon the order or pre- s riptiou of regularly authorized or practi ,ing pIysiclar, without attaching 10 the phiRI, box or parcel containing such poisonous su0 stance, a label with the name and residence of such person and the word ''pol son" ali printed up- co lt with red ink, together with the name of such person written or printed thereon in plain sn legible characters Section Amy person Infringing any of the provisions Of this ordinance shall, upon conviction thereof before Munici- pal Magistrate, b. deemed gully of misdemeanUr, and shall be punished by a fine not exceeding twenty-five dollars (S25.00l.
 This ordinance shall be in force and effect from and after It's passage.
 Passed March 5, 1907.
 Approved March 5, 1907.
 E. J, SHAW,
 President the Council. MATTHEW BRIDGE,
 Clerk,
The daily Alaskan., 1907-04-05
| M N.ASLIS0DS
DAILY INLAND
 WEATHER REPORT

The report of weather conditions at s o'clock this morning st points Ou the line of the White Pass and in the Yukon valley follows:
 Glacier-Cloudy, calm, B above. White Pass-ClouGy. north wind, % above.
 Fraser-Clear,' calm, 22 above. Log Cabin-Clesr, west wind, l6 above.
 Bsnnett-Cloudy, calm, Is above. Pennington-Cloud!, calm, 20 above Caribou Cloudy. calm, 9 above. Whitehorse-Cloudy, calm. 2 above. Atlin-Snowing, calm, 9 above. Cloudy, calm, 24 above Lower Labarge-ClOudy, calm, 26 above.
 Hootalinqua-CIoudy, cain, 2 above. Big Salmon-Cloudy, calm, 3! above. Yukon Crossing-Clear, calm, 2+ above.
 selkirk- Cloudy, north wind, 26 above.
 Stewart Cloudy, north wind, l4 above.
 Ogtlyie- Cloudy, calm, 10 above. Dawsou- Cloudy, north wind, above Fortymfle-CIear, calm, 10 below.
The daily Alaskan., 1907-04-05
TORTURED BY
 ITCHING SCALP
Eczema Broke Out Also on Hands and Limbs Suffering Intense Doctors Said Too Old to Be Cured An Old Soldier of 80 Years OeCIareS3
"CUTICURA TREATMENT
 IS A BLESSING "

At all times and 10 all people l am willing to testify tn the merits of Gu ticura. It saved me fro,o worse thsn the tortures of haues. about the year 1900, with itching on my scalp and temples. and afterwards it commenced to break out ou my hands. Then 1t broke out on my limbs. l was advised to use salt and water, which ! did, to TO effeyt. then went to a Surgeon, who commenced treating me with a wash of bOraN. This treatment did me no good, but rather aggravated the disease. then told him ] would 20 and see a phy- sician in Erie. The reply was that could go anywhere. but a case Of eczema like mine could not be cured; that l was too old (SO). l went to an eminent doctor in the city of Erie and treated with him for six months, with like results. l had read of the Cu- tiCura Remedies often. l was strongly tempted to give them a trial. so l sent for the Cuticura Soap, Ointment, and Resolvent and continued taking the Resolvent until ] had taken six bottles, stopping 1t tO take the Pills. l was now getting better. l took two baths a day, and at night let the father of the Soap dry on. l used the Ointment with great effect after washing in warm water. to stop the itching at once. l am now cured.
 "The Cuticura treatment is a blessing and should be used by every one who has itching of the skin. l cant say any more, and thank God that He has given the world such a curative. You can use this letter as you please. 4 very much befriended man, Wm. H. Gray, 33O3 Mt. Vernon St, Philadelphia, Pa, August 2, 1905"
 Conplse External and Internal Treatment for svsgy Euno- from PiPies Co scsufua, from Infancy 10 Ags, GoaEEf 1f Cgticg-a Soap, Be- Ointment, 5Qc- RsSo.y- Ei 5Qc Ita form 1f Chgs1-a Ccafrd PiB 25c per vial q pl, p- Ey De had 5f al tTuggI A snEs u1 surGI. RglsaT DTus Chem. Corp Sole RropH BcI11u. Man
 E7- haEsd FEss, How to CEfs DlEEzEins HEEasEAR
The daily Alaskan., 1907-04-05
1908 CALENDAR
 SAMPLES COMING

The Daily Alaskan has secured the agency for the famous J, W. Butler Paper Company ca endars tor 1908 and one of the finest lines of samples ever placed on exhibition will be here soon. It will pay those desiring calendars for next year to save their orders until they get an opportunity to see these samples and to hear the quotations.
The daily Alaskan., 1907-04-05
sKAGwAY WEATHER

The result of the observation taken aG Moore wharf at midnight, Apr. {, lgO-, is as follows Temperature time ObseryaJ'n 5s above Max. temp. preceding 4 hours. +6 above Min u " ..32 above Mean '' ..9S sOo'e
 Barometer 2s.O6
 Clear. north wind.
The daily Alaskan., 1907-04-05
Federal ORoiaI Wsds

Eagle, March lS-John II. Robinson, the deputy United States marshal at Eagle, and Miss Jessie Pulham, of HasSocks, Sussex, England, were united ia marriage at the Episcopal mission in Eagle last evening.
The daily Alaskan., 1907-04-05
Sacrifice Furniture Sale

A few very choice pieces of furniture remain unsold. A very Elegant Book Case, Hand Carved Writing Desk, Green EnameIed Bed, other Beds, Mattresses, Handsome Rocking Chair, Parlor Chairs, Kitchen Chairs, Parlor Heater, ChiTonier, Center Tables, and many other articles and ornaments.
 4. P. WILDT, Phone T6.
The daily Alaskan., 1907-04-05
No Rotary Ont Today

For the first time in a long time the rotary did not leave the shops today. The road was clear from one end to the other.