Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-06-09
ANSWERS TO
CORRESPONDENTS

lin this column will he answered all questions Of
a proper nature submitted to The Star. Inquirers
shond Write on one side only and address their let
tiers Uncle Jasper" Star office. In case Of din
cult conunlrums answers may he delayed for a
week or two. Consequently Il may he advisable
Tor all quesioners TO watch this column carefully
MIR. SMITHS 1t true that the price Of
coal is regulated by the law of supply and
demand? A.-Most certainly it is The coal
dealer demands your money and you supply
it.
THEODORE R.-Uncle Jasper, my dear
friend. Mr.. Hartman hasn't been around
recently. Do you suppose he still thinks OF
me? A-That's probably the reason he
hasn't been around.
ISADORE.-I have friend but have
never talked politics with him. How may |
delicately discover his party without asking
him outright to tell me? A-Inquire IL no
mas won any election bets In the last TWEEN
ty years or so. II he replies in the negative
1t cinch he's democrat
Said the expert lobbyist to the big insurance men:
Il haven't had n hand-out since | don't know
when
Said the big insurance to the legislative
You can't do any good in the way that you
n. G. U.-Unce Jasper the newspapers
don't tell the truth any more. l a dis
patch In one of them the other day saying
that two shipwrecked sailors had been res
cued in a starving condition at Blue Gulch.
Nevada. Why, that's hundreds of miles
from the ocean. How do you explain a de-
liberate misstatement like that A.-You ara
behind the times. dear person. The dis
patch in question referred to air-ship-
wrecked sailors.
and more polite name than grass widow
to describe lady whose divorced husband
Is living? A.-Why don't you call her a
vegetarian?
A modern soldier of fortune
Did lament to his modern queen:
There's no way can show nv love for you
~, In these modern days. ween"
IF you're looking for trouble. knighty,''
Said this very modern queen,
Why don't you go up In war balloon
It's better than staying a dragon;
It's safer than rushing the foe
For IL anything terrible happens to you
You get your name In the papers, you know"
HOUSEHOLDER.-Dea Uncle Jasper.
please name the one principal argument In
favor of suburban life. A.-With pleasure.
When 1t rains you can raise pond lilies in
the cellar.
j. X. L-While passing the White House
the other day l heard the loudest kind of
hammerfng proceeding from the private
apartment usually used by the President.
Can you tell me the occasion for this2 A
We suspect that somebody had just received
the announcement that there was a Knox
on the presidential-candidate platform.
eve had to struggle hard with that one.
but it's worth the trouble)
INQUIRER.-Has 1t rained much out in
Ohio recently? Attained? Why, polit-
ically, Ohio resembles the dismal swamp Of
Virginia with Lookout mountain In the mid
die. At last reports Mr.. Bill Taft was
sliding down the northeast side with smooth
going ahead. 1t is feared that he will be-
come damp ere long
GEORGE H. H-UncIe Jasper, do you
happen to know what class Of people are
the unhappiest? A.-Well, at this particu-
think It might be the moth ball manufac-
turers. Some OF them have been SO care
less as to commit suicide.
G. w. OIL saw I'm the paper the other
day that New York saloonkeeper maxi
ing the prediction that this would be a
splendid year In his business, gave S., 900 to
the poor. What did he mean? Ale mere
ly referred to the fact that this year has
ffty-three Sundays In 1t and the hot ones
are yet to come. FL
ALGERNON.-No. Algy, so far as we
know there Is no truth In the report that
the National base ball team, in order to take
advantage of the weather conditions Of this
spring. is to be trained in the game Of
water polo But we have nothing official on
the subject.
Let's bid for the next peace conference
Try not to get around II.
The very best place you can possibly find
Is Glen Echo on the Conduit.
UNCLE JASPER.