The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1907-09-23
hUNOR or THE DAY

| hUNOR or THE DAY
| Little Dimpleton-How long will It take
you to give me working knowledge IN
The Professor-Oh! say, two weeks.
Little Dimpleton-But. heavens; man! !
can't wait all that time to get rid OF our
cook.-PhiladelphiaI Inquirer.
MOUNTAINEERING grandfather has slept in
| this church for 80 years.
Stranger-Is he living States
man.
"Our train struck a bear on the way
| was he on the track?''
mo: the train had to go into the woods
after him."-Louisvilie Courier-Journal
a good Opportunity, but he didn't take the
trouble, isn't it? # you don't take 1t.
Judge (contemp;uously)-w you're an
elegant specimen Of manhood, 1 declare!
Yer Honor: an i if OF wasn't undher oath
ORD say ez much fer yursilf.-Judse.
II understand that. you want a chef"
said the distinguished-looking foreigner.
chaf a1 MI S Cum oId r. 6Hn
| ed roast beef and apple pie cook But
mother and the girls want chef you
! When I want something to eat that suits
my special taste can go to dairy lunch
Phoney-say. Butt, when die hopes
it'll be like lawyer once heard Of!
Phoney-Dis lawyer died pleadin' at the
bar. and dey carried him out on a beer!-
DO you think his interest in art will
No answered Miss Cayenne He is
toe. well off to become an artist himself
and not rich enough to become a con-
noisseur. w ashington Star.
Who's that a-hollerin' down yonder in
That's the prodigal son. The old mans
a-whalin' thunder out of him for runnin'
| away!"-Atlanta Constitution.
Money talks"
says I don't remember Houston Post.
'"rhere is something funny in everything
puncfured tire yesterday and everybody
see anything funny in that"
Well. you admit that you are the only
one mat couldn't. "-Cleveland Plain
May hear Jimmy Smith is going to
Jay~i'm glad of it. I never did like
that fellow.-Judse.
II see you've got a motor car. I don't
suppose IT'S hard to run"
That's what what makes ''T me tired. "-Phiisd dI
phia Press.
You don't hear any more of that six
| teen-to-one now"
Don't you2 You haven't been visiting
have you:-Baltimore American.
BiIl-Before launching into matrimony a
man should always count the cost
| Jill-But how can he tell how much ali
mony the judge is going to allow?-Yon-
Tramp-Please. -ma'am, If you'll gimme
sumthin' t eat I'll shovel the snow of
Lady~Why. there hasn't been any snow
| Tramp--Well, that amt no fault Nv
they wuz any7-Illustrated Bits.
Hewett-well. I could imagine that fl
e 9s' could be fiiied by taxing ONE e of fh.
legs out of pine table that we no longer
! use.-Judge.
Father. Cof student)-But my boy pos
e coiese Prssident~Yes sir; in one ne direo.
| ton. In consequence Of the attraction OF
| grdvitat1On ne eXerIS what we call, Scien-
tifically, potential energy of 1877 pounds
Chicago Tribune.
And your papa is an angel?''
"Yes'm."
when did he die7"
He amt dead; he's financing an opera
troupe."-Houston Post.
MY gracious!" exclaimed the first flea.
what makes you so red7'
-Sunburned. replied the second flea
dIsgustedly. Some idiot slipped the dog 1
was summering on."-Catholic Standard
and Times.
Gan rich man enter into the Kingdom
Yes" answered wise old Parson Brod-
head, but not on ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
ington Herald.
yer prospectin' tripi Aixy3S 'hins rich on
AlkaH Isaac-You bet your life 1 did
Chic)
Cactus Calvin--Iow does the assay rum
hol.-Illustrs ted Bits.
he loves you? N