davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-10-06
Mr. OOOley on the Choice of a Career

wise a young man, but I've often
thought that if I had me life to live
over again I'd be a lawyer. IT'S no.
BILE profssyon. It's nObler now thin it
used to be in tn old days whin law
yer had to go into court an holler till
he was hoorse to arm his fee. In thin
times twas no sinycure, as Hogan says.
If had throuble with We. ye hurrid off
to wan lawyer an 1 to another, an tn
next month we were down in tn coort
room hearin' what tn larned counsel
had to say about us. No matther how
tn judge decided, / got me moneys
worth whin me attorney shook his fin
ger at We an alluded to tn fact that
We are a low-browed ruffyan with a
squint in ye'er eye. Thin his remarks
about me- What a good fellow 1 was !;
how / sacrificed mesilf FIR me frinds;
as he told tn story iv me life he wept
an 1 wept, too, although this was the
first I'd heerd Nv it. / niver cud feel
that he was doin' it FIR thirty dollars.
An thin whin he come to dhrag out
tn authorities to support me. / wint
to law with we because 1 was cross an
wasn't sure whether / cud lick we in a
rough-an'- tumble fight, but, whin me
lawyer begin to talk, l seen at wanst
that l was in coort to perform a dis
agreeable jooty in tn inthrest Nv civ
vylization an humanity. TIL decisions
were all on my side. Be hivens, it
looked as though they were all written
with an eye to this particular case. 1t
didn't make amy difference whether tn
decision was about tn capture iv fugi-
tive slaves or consarnin' tn goold
standard. it fitted onto my case as
though it had been measured FIR it.
Dye raymimber Grogan? He was me
lawyer in thin days whin had wrongs
that I didn't propose to have thram-
pied on. l took thin to Grogan an
Grogan PRESENTED thin to tn coort
Dear me, but twas a threat to see an
hear him. He'd been a pedlar in his
youth an We cud hear his voice as far
as tn Indyanny state line. Whin he
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-10-06

it was pretty tough bein' chucked in
glars The bill of fare amt above par,
you know, and the company's worse
sat in my cell and waited and waited
for my lawyer to show up. for he had
said he'd be right over. But he didn't
come, and l had to spend the night
there. Next morning the keeper told
me that my lawyer was in the counsel
room So down l went with two mig
gers who also had an appointment with
their lawyer. It's a nasty, unventilat-
ed hole. and they lock you and the law
yers all in together. Ever been there?"
1 shook my head regretfully.
Well says he, now have you got
a bondsman?'
"A what?' says /.
"A bondsman-some one to go bail
for YOU
No. I answered, for l knew moth
ing about such things.
What. l thought you told me you
had a lot of friends who had money!
You haven't been trifiing with me, have
your
IT knew I hadn't told him anything
of the sort, but l thought that maybe
he had forgotten, so l said l hadn't
any friends who had any money. and
knew no one to go bail for me.
bad, Very badi' said he. You've
got to have money to get out. Isn't
there any one who owes you money, or
haven't you got some claim or some
thing?'
Then all of sudden it flashed over
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-10-06

50 Tried said he. Why. you won't
be tried for months.
MY heart sank right down into my
boots.
Don't be a fool he went on. Here
don't raise money to get bondsman
you'll stay here long time. You
might die. And if you assign that
claim to me, / have a pull with the
Judge and I'll have you out by supper
time
At guess I'll wait awhile said I.
Think it over anyway. Now 1 tell
you what I'll do. Tomorrow you go up
for pleading" You have to say
whether you are guilty or not guilty
I'll act as your lawyer and see you
through that part of it for nothing, and
then if you still don't want to assign
the claim, why, you can do as you
choose
THAT seemed fair enough, so
agreed spent another rotten night in
the cells, and next day about thirty OF
us were taken across the bridge into
the courtroom. One by one we were
led up to the bar and the clerk asked US
were we guilty or not guilty. The ones
that said they were guilty went off tc
Sing Sing or Blackwells Island. 81
scared the life out of me. l was
afraid that l might not be able to say
not and so get sent off, too, but pretty
soon l saw my lawyer.
"'P. Llewellyn Riggs!'
up jumped Mr.. Lawyer and says
Not guilty.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-10-06

me about the diamond and my so per
cent of the reward, and then somer
thing in his eye made me think again.
1t seemed to me that 1 had seen him
before somewhere. l couldn't remember
just where, but the more I hesitated
the surer 1 was. Then II came over me
that a few days in jail, more or less,
made mighty little difference when l
was going to be a rich man so soon. and
decided l had better hang on to what
I'd got.
NO. said 1, L amt got nothin'.'
You lie!' says he, growing very
red. You liei You've got a claim
against the United States government
"Then he saw he'd made break.
why, they all told me you caught
a smuggler or something and had a
claim for hundred dollars
"A hundred 1 yelled. Twenty
thousand
Oh said he. as much as that +?
Why, I'll get you out this afternoon,
How? said I.
"'Well, you will have to assign your
claim so 1 can raise the money on it,
It's a mere form
'But the thought came into my mind,
better stay here ten years than let him
have the claim, and / said, No,
didn't understand such things, and I'd
just wait until / could be tried
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-10-06

went home and told little Flossie about
90 per cent informer's reward; how
was going to give up bill posting and
just be her manager and how we could
take bigger fiat, and all that, and /
thought so much about 1t and talked
so much about it that / began to feel
like 1 was Vanderbilt already, which
may account in part for what happened
afterward.''
At this point the keeper moved un-
easily and l pushed him another ci-
gar.
WELL" continued Riggs, Il just
walked on air that afternoon after leav-
ing the custom house, and went around
blabbering like a poor fool about my
good luck. On the way home / stopped
in TO take a drink There were a lot
of my acquaintance there, and l had
something with most of them. and then
the first thing l knew l felt a dread
full pain in my stomach and everything
swan before my eyes. L CROPPED my
way home, but 1 had only taken a few
steps when the con men attacked me,
knocked me down and robbed me. ]
was almost dead. but l struggled to
my feet and followed them. They
turned and attacked me again. l drew
my knife, and then everything got
dark, and the next thing / knew l was
in the police station.
I'm admit that this part of it does
seem a little queer" Riggs dropped his
voice mysteriously and leaned toward
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-10-06

talked to tn judge ye'd think he was
hollerin' instructions to a shipwrecked
sailor against tn wind. I can see him
now as he knelt on tn fure an called
Heaven to witness tn justice iv his
cause, or stalked acrost tn room to
ear, Polthroon!' Whin he spoke iv tn
other lawyer as me larned brother he
done it in such way that We expected
tn other lawyer to reach FIR a gun. An
hardest kind w exercise. His arms
were always in motion. He wud bate
tn table with his fist till tn coort
house thrembled. He wud shake his
If he was tn lawyer in a case Nv as
sault an batthry he'd punch himself in
tn jaw an fall over a chair to show
tn jury how it happened. If twas a
murdher thrile he'd pretind TO shoot
himsilf through tn heart an sink to
tn ground dead with his head in a
waste-paper basket an his foot in a
juryman's lap. If twas breach Nv
promise suit he'd kneel on tn flure In
front iv a juryman that looked soft an
beg him to be his. There was no kind
iv acrobat that we liver see in a circus
that cud give anything to Grogan. An
whin he'd filed tn air with beautiful
language an baten tn coort room fur
niture into slivers he'd sink down in his
chair overcome be his emotions, with
tn tears pourin' firm his eyes. an give
We tn wink firm behind his banker
chief
He was tn great man an whin TIL
likes Nv him were alive twas some fur
goin' to law But now, mind We, if We
consult a lawyer he receives We in his
office, looks out iv tn window while
ye'er tellin' tn story iv tn croo
wrong done We be ye'er neighbor, taps
his nose with his eyeglasses an says;
we have perfectly good case 1 ad.
wise We to do nawthin'. Ninety-foul
dollars, please. Oh. if we insist an thry-
in, tn case. I'll sind tn Office boy ovel
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-10-06

me. Now / have no doubt that / was
drugged and beaten for the purpose of
getting me locked up in the Tombs as
part of a well-planned scheme. 1 as
sure you there was no jag about it..
You will see for yourself later on.
Il landed in the police station al
hacked up, the cops finishing up the
job the con men had begun. They
put me in a cell, and, sick as i was, I
almost went crazy. Next mosni2g
while / was waiting in the prison pen
a man came along who said he was a
lawyer and would take my case. l said
all right, but that he would have to
wait for his pay. He laughed and said
he guessed there would be no trouble
about that, and the next thing l knew
l was up before the judge. My lawyer
went up and whispered something to
him, and the magistrate said:
Five hundred dollars bail for trial.
Look here I spoke up. Amt I
going to have a chance to tell my sto-
ry?"
keep quiet" said the lawyer from
behind his hand, this is just a form.
You won't never have TO be tried. It's
just to get you out
$50 / said nothing and went back to
the pen and waited. and the next thing
1 knew they put me in Black Maria
and 1 landed in the Tombs. l tell you
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-10-06

law tomorrow.
But, anyhow, Hinnissy, don't ye
bother ye'er head about what's gOin' to
happen to ye'er boy. WHATEVER is goin
to happen will happen, We can bet or
that What makes We think We car
pick out calm FIR him? Here We
ARE, goin' on l don't know how old
but ye'er older thin I am an 1 car
prove it. Ye'er hair has left We; yere
brain goes as slowly to wurruk as ye'eI
feet; whin We want to read We have to
hook on spectacles that make We look
like diver; We can't stay awake aftheI
ten o'clock at night or asleep aftheI
four in tn mOrnin'; We can On'y remem.
Der things that happened yesterday an
forty years ago; if We remember amy
thing else it gin'rally isn't thrue. Ys
are hangin' on to a ledge iv what We
call good health but that Wud seem
like a bad case iv sickness to a young
fellow, an all We can think iv doin' is
bawlin' instructions to tn kids around
We about what they ought to do an
say an think an wear. There amt
amy good, relible snap in human lifej
says Father Kelly. There are a few
time-honored marks TO show where tn
greatest dangers, are an most hardy
sailor men sail as close to thin as they
can without gettin' wrecked. If they
go too far away they'll find no wind to
fill their sails But no man can chart
it all out FIR amy other man. TIL on'y
thing we can do is to see that tn boats
made seaworthy an is well-provisioned
toss out a few simple hints an lave il
go at that. An owner is as much hoo
doc on board as a parson. Ye can tel
Hinnissy that tn boat is ready to sail
an it's time FIR him an me to &c
ashore. We're told tn captain all we
know. Firm now on he must take his
chances an be tn look in his eye ]
guess he's ready"
I'D like to have me own life to live
over" said Hennessy.
Il wudden't," said Mr. Dooley. 81
wudden't dare"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-10-06

What day? asked the clerk.
The 21st,' says Mr.. Lawyer.
II was dumb for a minute.
Look here 1 whispered. 'Today's
only the first-that's three weeks.
Keep quiet! shouted an officer, and
gave me a punch in the back.
Its all right whispered Mr.. Law
yer. It's only a form And they hus-
tied me out back to the Tombs.
----.sI s-dida,t hear aszy4hiRe- All that~aay
or the next. 1t seemed as if 1 should
go mad. But at last l was notified
that my lawyer was there again and
down l went, glad enough for the
change. BY that time 1 was feeling
pretty seedy.
well, young man. said he, can we
do business?'
That depends 1 answered.
Come, no fOoling, now. If you
want to get out give me an assignment
of your claim
Never 1 replied.
Then to h with you,' he shouted;
you can rot here alone and try your
case by yourself, and 1 hope you'll
get twenty years
II almost sank through the floor.
Twenty years"
Riggs had become quite dramatic and
was again leaning forward, loking lie
straight in the eyes.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-10-06

with We. He always riprisints tn firm
in coort.' Don't ye liver go into coort?
says 1. What wud 1 be dom in a smell
ly coort room, talkin' up to man that
was me chief clerk last year, says he.
No, sir, tn law is a diff rent profissyon
firm what it was whin Dan'l Webster
an Rufus Croate an thin gas bags
used to make mighty poor Twin be
shoutin' at judges that made less. TIL
law today is not ony profissyOn.
It's business. / made bigger homo
raryum last year consolidatin' tn glue
hands iv a receiver, which is me, thin
Dan'l Webster liver thought was in tn
gOold mines iv tn wurruld. I can't
promise to take a case FIR We an boot
me reasons FIR thinkin' ye'er right into
tn ears iv larned judge. I'm poor
speaker. But if liver We want to do
something that We think we oughtn't
to do, come around to me an I'll show
we how to do it,, says he.
'''Tis grand pro-fissyon. An if a
man 5 a lawyer he can De 1VfytnlnR
else. When we want a man to do an
nything in this country firm conduct
in war to runnin' a polls foorce, we
hire a lawyer. Nearly all Presidents
have been lawyers. All tn la-ads in
tn cabinet are lawyers. Whin an adj
niral comes home firm bravin' tn ter
rors iv tn seas an tn sthrange drinks
iv foreign lands tits to a lawyer he re-
ports. Whin a gin'ral has commanded
our gallant army in tn Philippians an
suffered nanny a savage thrust fir m
tn bolo an tn Springfield Republican,
he comes home to injye tn greatest
honor that sojer can injye. tn honor
iv reportin' to tn head Nv the army a
gallant warryor firm tn Yale Law
School. TIL on'y man in tn govermint
that amt a lawyer is Tiddy Rosenfelt
himsilf But he gets tn best legal adj
vice there is goin'. He has a cabinet
iv lawyers, an he consults thin an
they tell him he's perfectly right An
so he is. FIT what is done today is tn
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-10-06

I'm throubled about me son
Packy," said Mr.. Hennessy.
What's happened to tn poor child? ?"
asked Mr. Dooley. Sure. it's nawthin'
more thin a boyish prank, whativer it
is Has he kilt some wan? F'rgit
about it. It's on'y his youthful spir-
it's
1T amt anything like that" said
MIR. Hennessy. Hes a good boy, but
I'm wondhrin' what I'm goin' to make
iv him.
what ye'er soin' to make Nv hln?"
cried Mr.. Dooley. well, niver in me
born days did l hear anything tn
akel " that FIR cheek. TIL more see
Nv parents tn more think they're un-
fit to have childher to look afther thin.
TIL care an affection iv tn young are
wasted on thin. They're a selfish, I'M
pertinent, meddlins, self-indulgent
class, that's what they are TIL idee
iv a batthered, barnacled old derlict
like ye'erself undhertakin' to map out
a coorse in life FIR a bright, intilligint
boy like Pacl1y! 1 don't see how he
puts up with ye'er impydince. 1 sup
pose he's good natured. We call it re-
spect FIR ye'er age an expeeryence BE
hivens, I've seen tn day whin I'd punch
a man. in tn eye FIR shown me tn
kind iv respect youth feels FIR age. Is
II respect that makes you'help a blind
man off a car? Go on with We. Ye
can't fool ye'ersilf an We can't fool tn
childher. Ye know an they know that
<old age is on'y a kind iv disease that
has but wan endin'. An as FIR ye'eI
experience. what more is it thin a
faulty recollection iv tn foolish things
We done; tn. record amt iv amy value
except as a Curiosity. Paeky will find
his own foolish things TO do; he'll injye
thin while he can, an he'll regret thin
whin he must.
Hogan was in here yesterdah with
tn same song. Me son an heir he
calls him. It's all right to be Hogan's
son, but he'll have TO wurruk hard II
he's his heir. Well. sir, this here pro-
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1907-10-11
HUMANE SOCIETY
FOUNTAIN WILL Be
SHIPPED AT ONCE

Mayor Yeiser today received let
ted from Lewis NJ. SEWER Secretary of
the National Humane Alliance. stat
ing that the alliance is ready to ship
the $1,000 drinking fountain. secured
for Paducah by Mr. Frederick b.
Tilghman, vice president OF the or
.ganization and a former Paducahan
The mayor today notified the sec
rotary that the fountain will be erect
ed at Tenth street and Broadway in
front of the Yeiser park and will be
under the control OF the board of pub
lie works.
The fountain will be six feet six
inches high from the ground TO the
top. The large bowl for the use of
horses will be six feet in diameter
and carved from piece of solid gran
tie highly polished. The entire foun-
tain will consist of blocks of granite
Al the base will be four cups or
basins to contain water for dogs. The
large basin for horses will be four
feet from the ground and in such a
position that unchecking of horses
win not always be necessary.
Above the bowl will be a carved
block OF granite containing on one
side the following inscription:
Presented by the National HUI
name Society"
Herman Lee Ensign, Founder.
ll9O5.'
on the other side are three large
lion heads with streams of water
flowing from their mouths into the
bowl below.
Herman Lee Ensign, the founder
OF the National Humane society, who
provided in his will a large sum for
the erection of drinking fountains in
the cities. was a native of Carbonate.
Pa. He was telegrapher by trade
but was later the inventor of a num-
Der OF useful devices in newspaper
stereotyping. from which he accumu-
lated a fortune. AZ one time he was
editor OF a religious journal, which
was widely humanitarian.
From his childhood he was a lover
OF domestic animals and founded the
humane alliance for the purpose OF
carrying out cherished ideas, but died
IN 1899. leaving large portion OF
his fortune for the carrying out OF
his lifes work.
The Humane Alliance has Offices
at SIS United Charities building
New York The officers are Harri'
son Gray Fiske, president; Frederick
liz. Tllghman. vice president, aud
Louis NJ. SEWER, secretary and treas
lurer.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1907-10-11
Mayor Of Milwaukee Rohhed.

Milwaukee, Wis, Oct IL 49, Mayor
Sherburn NJ Becker, boy mayor, au-
thor. COW puncher, statesman and
gubernatorial candidate--has been
robbed! Somebody tore open that big
rolltop desk in the innermost private
Office at the dty han during the
night aud made away with co. 600
wolds-the mayor says--Of mann
script of his $50 page book on John
Detz, the famous defender of the
Cameron dam. The mayor explains.
however. that the matter was written
in duplicate and the publication Of The
book will not be delayed.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1907-10-11
PERCY HALY DOES NOT LIKE
WAY LOCAL POLITICIANS ARE
RUNNING THE CAMPAIGN HERE
Glenn Whittemore, Graduate of Haly
School of Applied Politics, on
Hand.

the new style, want Of education
such a. Is furnished in the classic IN
stItut.on conducted by Professor Hall
or from indisposition. have utterly
failed st a time when no other kind
Of politics will avail to meet the sit.
uation.
II Is generally understood that
Mr.. Whittemore was sent here to do
some things that the local pollti-
clans are not doing. and that Percy
Haly is very much afraid he couldn't
induce them to do
Glen Whittemore was here regls-
tration day. and he has been here
nearly every day since. More than
that. he will be here until the cam.
paign closes. and he is not here on
business affecting the public duties OF
the Office, with which he is connected
in Frankfort.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1907-10-11
Radium To Banish Birthmarks.

Paris. Oct. H. Two OF the fore
most physicians in Paris. Doctors
Wickham and Degrais, created a SEN
satlon at the Academy Of Medicine to-
day by announcing the discovery of a
method to remove blrthmarks by the
action OF radium. The new method
has proved equally successful In the
case of adults and children. the
marks being eflaced by the simple ap-
pication of a plane surface covered
with a varnish containing radium. A
series of water colors exhibited to the
academy showed the gradual disap-
pearance Of birthmarks subjected IL
treatment until not the slightest
trace of Disagreement remained. The
doctors say the treatment is painless
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1907-10-11

Columbus, o., Oct. ii.-Mrs. Cas-
sic Chadwick, whose amazing imam
cial transactions eliminated in the
wrecking of an 0beriin. O., bank, died
in the woman's ward at the Ohio PEN
itentiary last night at 1880 o'clock.
Mrs. Chadwick had been in a coma
tose condition Cor some hours prevl-
GUS to her death which came peace
fully. No friends or relatives waited
at the bedside; only the prison physl-
clan and hospital attendants. Her
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1907-10-11

Local Democratic politicians are
not managing the campaign to suit
the state administrator. which. as
far as politics" s concerned, H.
Percy Haly.
This answers tho query so often
profounded, why genial Glen Whit
tenore, OF Mayheld and Frankfort. Is
spending the campaign In Paducah.
His particular mission Is TO rectify
the legislative situation IN McCracken
county: but what he does for Eugen,
Graves will be to the advantage. or
disadvantage. as the case may be, OF
the rest OF the ticket
Nearly everybody IN Paducah. who
Is at all acquainted with state poll
tics. knows Glen Whlttemore. ant
they all know what good fellow he
Is. Also most OF them know fron,
what institution he received his po-
litlcal diploma. lie is one OF the pro-
duets of Percy Hays finishing
school for young men. and he is ex-
pected TO Introduce the Haly system
OF politics IN McCracken county.
Outside Mott Agles' baillwick. the
First district has been a trlne back
ward in learning the new kind OF
politics so popular az Frankfort. AMI
up 10 this time. enicaclous, especially
In primaries. Loca, leaders. either
from lack OF the peculiar qualifica-
lions necessary TO become adept in