The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1907-06-25

Was he lookin' FIR tn job?" asked
Hennessy.
or. anUears So said Mr.. Dooley.
=ays not. but he must've put in
arnucation with a sample Nv his
.~-anship an sthrons riccominda-
firm Taft. Foraker, Fairbanks,
Hrvan. fr an aged scholar livin'
r-atsaChoosetts has reluctantly con-
d -45 % have himsilf interviewed on
=latick- He is an overseer or I'M
--taEer. as ye might put it. " that
4 f cimitary iv meditation. as Ho-
q .lys. an he speaks as follows. Il
r. heard 1t brUted in tn public
81 MS that an ad has appeared in tn
i zrral column, suggistin' that q gin
4 man a~pproachin' fifty. sound in all
II -Lcklars, was DESTROYS " obtainin'
4 -~5sit-on as Prisidint iv a university
uated IN some town near Boston.
a ress T. r.. Wash, D. C. l sup
F. Re means Harvard. II is a very
IA alanum ambition, but is he qualified
u m Job? I think not. It IS perfect
i rachral that a man who has held
IA e~omparatfvely innocint place iv
8-tdint " tn United States shud
. mt TO go higher. But T must flag
] vaultin' ambition. Speakin' as tn
survivin' member in Danvers iv
l. lass ~ eighteen eight-ruff-ruff
kYlT -ruf-ruff -Havud! - Good
cious, I've swallowed me- teeth
B. it's all right wish to say I'm
! gain him. I stand committed to
&vether Professor II. Jiggs. tn we'll
.7own botanist, or J. @. Pillscory, tn
comment banker iv Boston. We must
b. no Prisidint " Harvard who has
ayer been brought in contact with that
koqIse. predatory. crool. vicious any
81 Tile. The Boy
Win this sayin' was r~aypoorted to
Fiddy Rosenfelt. he give a light laugh
a. blew down gr-reat trees an
wrecked a number Nv small craft on
t. P~ottyrnack, an says he: Pooh!
BE as much thought iv bein' a chief
D. tn Apache thribe.'
"Whin tn Apaches heerd what tn
d risidint said they were much dis
~urbed. They say they ARE an active
people, but it's wan thing to be out all
Fdav scalpfn' their nefghbors an it's
.another thing to have to put in twinty-
-four hours on tn job. Even an Apache
Requires a certain amount iv sleep.
EThey say that if Tiddy Roserfelt car
Trtes out his threat they'll put on their
pants an come into town. There's a
lEood deal iv feelin' on tn subiick. TIL
|Apaches say with truth that Harvard
|Colledge give Tiddy Rosenfelt to tn
Nation an ought to AXE him back.
Harvard College says Tiddy Rosenfelt
AEdn't come firm there. he whit firm
There. There's a difference. TIL
.Apaches say he's a Harvard man, an
Ith' Harvard men say he's an Apache.
|Th' day afther he made his
mint, old Chief acknowledgements
was interviewed be a ~rayporther iv
Tn Tombstone Epitaph-an' a good
paper it is, too-an' says he TIL an
|nouncemint thai Misther Rosenfelt
wud sooner be Chief iv tn Apaches
thin Prisidint iv Harvard fills us with
Ichag~n an alarm, which are two
Things we don't want to be filled with.
Agency beef. lead horse, dogs, an
.snakes ARE good atm, but chagrin
an alarum ARE bad FIR tn digestion.
] say now we won't have him. He's
Zoo active a man FIR US. He doesn't
understand tn thrue inwardness iv
that old Apache feelin'. have been
In communication with our frinds at
Cambridge. an I have proposed a joint
comfy Nv defnse composed iv tn fol-
lowin': FIR tn Apaches-Gila-Mon-
Observation-Disclosures, Oldham
Catch-a-Cold. observation-disclosures, an
Mud-Horse-Charley- Who-Eats-RattIe-
ssnakes-Head-DownWard; FIR Harvard
s-Prisidint Eliot, Professors Hill,
James, an S~andvana. With hi
sthrong body iv ~intellechool leaders we
institutions an repel tn outrageous
attimpt to make up wurruk overtime.
An there We ARE. [ don't know
where Tiddy Rosenfelt will land, on
less it's in tn Middle West, where
We're a kind iv a cross between Har-
ward an Apache. He's welcome. Wen
push over an make room FIR him.
Wen find a job fr him. Be hivins, he
can have mine. This here neighbor-
hood is gettin' too tough fr me. TIL
place needs d stronger hand.
"'Tis a great question always with
us what're we goin' to do with our ex-
Prisidints. To stop bein' Prisidint is
like jumpin' out av a balloon without
a parachute. FIR four or eight years
a man IS up in tn CLOUDS, an thin sud-
denly he is rayquisted to step out into
tn cold March air an rejoin tn BOYS
that have been loOkin' UP at him. If
he don't step out, he's pushed, an
down he comes. oh. look at him.
He's gettin' nearer an nearer. We
a face afther all. Is that tn face we
thought so sthrong? Well, Well, His
clothes don't fit him. His necktie amt
on straight. He's very fat. Hear him
talk. He talks tn same foolish way
we do. His voice squeaks. Twas tn
PRESIDENCY that made it seem SO
sthrong. TIL White House is a gr-reat
soundin' boord. In a weeks time he's
wan " US, no more. no less. Polls
men move him on if he stands on tn
corner too long. He has got to do
something to make q livin'. He takes
up bankin'. A few weeks ago he
eud-ve closed amy bank in tn coun-
lhry. an now he ant keep a bank iv
ms own open. He thries to practise
law. an a Judge that wanst come into
his office on his stummick now gives
a hearty smile at his ~argymints.
There's naWthin' he can do as we'll
as somebody else. Our dc Frinl
Rutherford B. Hayes was a good Prisi-
dlnt fr wan hat got into tn job with
q dark lantern an a Jimmy, out as a
raiser iv chickens there wasn't an old
lady with four cochin chinys in
ONO that didn't look down on him. IT
makes a lot iv difference in tn game
whether ye're dealin' or bettin'. I'm
. iofty an imposin' man to ye, Hin
Missy, but what kind iv a figure Wud
cut on ye'er side iv tn bar? No, Sir.
AsaW