The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1907-08-04
HORRORS OF WAR
NOT RECORDED
Old Soldiers Tell of Strange Attic
tions When Applying for Pensions.
(Kansas City Star.)

(Kansas City Starr
Every ailment known to medical
science and some that are entirely
original, if not imaginary, are included
in the category of affections which
seek amelioration through the United
States pension commissioner.
! No matter how unreasonable may
appear the stories contained in these
applications for pensions each receives
a thorough investigation by the secret
| service of the bureau, an organization
which shrinks from advertising its
/ exploits, although it's members could
| tell hundreds of tales of interesting
variety. Pension Commissioner War
ner has decided objections to publicity
being given the secret work of the Of
| fee, but a leak will occasionally occur.
| Not infrequently the applications show
clearly the earmarks of fraud, and
| sometimes a shrewd detective is sent
thousands of miles to gather facts as
| to the claim. Often both men and
| women stretch their imagination as
well as conscience in their persistent
efforts to be placed on Uncle Sans
/ pension rolls. Some of the cases are
as odd as they are interesting. Here's
a fellow who wants pension for
| total wreck"
| Il fust got to be a total wreck frum
| liver and kidney trubbles and then 1
was totally wrecked by consumption,
which come on me suddenly like, and
now 1 am more totally wrecked by
army troubles, sprains and hard
| marching"
| An ex-soldier in Ohio wrote: 81 don't
exactly know what disease 1 am suf-
fering with, but 1 do know that 1 de-
serve a pension, as | am suffering the
pains of death all over my body and
| legs and feet. Make it a good one, for
l fought hard for the flag"
A henpecked husband, who evidently
has no use for his wife, says in his APP
plicatiOn: Il got blood poison by being
hit with a hens egg which was not
good. When you send my pension /
want it made so my wife won't get
any of it, for she is the one who
throWed the egg"
A veteran in West Virginia thinks
he should receive a pension because
he fell off a thirty-foot bridge during
the war, which resulted in a general
breaking up of my entire system" A
veteran of the Fourth Wisconsin in
fantry was salivated by reason of ex-
cessiVe use of salt pork during his
army career, and applies for a pen
sion on the ground that he got saliva
ton in the army
The following extract is an excel
lent example of an injury which made
itself known after an interval of more
than forty years: THE way I got my
war injury was ketchin a hog. Our
captain wanted her for forage, an he
was chasin' the hog, an she crawled
through a hoale in a rale fence. 1t was
a big hOale, an L thOt 1 was about
the size of the hog, an I tried to crawl
out l thrOde the rales off, an one hit
me on the he'd an knocked me sense
less. 1 don't think the ketchin' of the
hog had anything to do with my line
of duty, an I wants a pension. The
hog was never ketched."
A veteran in Howard county Mary
land sent the testimony of a neighbOr.
who no doubt meant well enough, but
did not know how to express himself.
The latter swOre to the statement that
he had kno yn the claimant for twelve
unless compelled to- The witness
meant to say that the claimant, while
really unable to work by reason of his
physical infirmities, was frequently
compelled to attempt labor in order
to sustain himself. AS companion
piece this will do: II am a native oe
Missouri. I want job in your office, !
Inen L NOH DISK IOE no raise III
pension. l clerk o. X, but 1 can't
labor I could boss the other clerks
and make them stand around and raise
duly entitled pensions, keep them from
loafing and whispering in office hours
and see that things worked right I /
could show them how"
A rather remarkable declaration
was made by a Michigan veteran. He
stated under oath that he picked up
a shell on the battle field of the Will
derness and took it into his tent |
While holding the missile between his
knees examining it, the shell exploded, |
badly shattering my nervous system"
but miraculously causing no other in
jury. An ex-cannoneer of one of the
regular batteries claims that he
stopped a cannon ball with his abdo- |
men, and has since been badly
troubled with stomach disorders. The
ball, he says, was a spent one, and
came bounding along, striking him
squarely on the exterior of the inner
man.
From Tennessee a widow writes:
his stomach. He couldn't stoop over
or straiten up without helpin' himself
To ham, beans, pork, eggs and cab
bage his stomach was repulsive. His
reumatics was the kind called plum
bago. His drOpsy was terrible"
A neighbor of one Orville jameson,
who asked for a pension because of
dropsy, wrote: 81 believe that Orville
Jameson is fatiged frum arnin' his Iiv-
in becos he's too fat an ways 200