Arizona republican., 1907-10-20

in tn college iv cardinals with thim l. can't be thrue. Who iver heerd i,
 a bishop playin' tennis, annyhow? Tt
 as lave believe that wan iv thim wa: seen goin' down to tn cathedral on {
 motor cycle, or that his grace iv New York had won tn hundherd yard dasf
 al tn Callic American games. Ther,
 must be some place where we'll have l tn best iv tn clergy. If they'ry goin
 to jine in our sinful spoorts. an beat
 us at thim at that. where do we stand
 as sinners? If they are goin' to come down an teach us tn evil iv our ways iv lobbin' what are we goin' to get out 1 iv life, says I. How am I goin' to be
 sorry :'r tn things I do, if they're right? No. sir. it ain't thrue. Tiddy Rosenfelt is still chamDeen lawn tennis player. an I'm goin to post twinty- five
 dollars with tn spoortin' iditor iv me fav'r.te journal that he can beat tn Archbishop iv Canterbury in limited number iv rounds. or to finish, pray CTS fir success not barred.
 If he'd been beat at lawn tennis he'd be in retirement now an his resigna- tion wud be in tn hands iv Congress Instead iy that he is out West sayin q last fond farewell to his fellow citi- zenS. A few months firm now hell retire to tn peace an quiet iv domestic life. An'\ to cillybrate his retirement he's made a hundherd ringin speeches shook hands with five hundherd thou sand citizens an kissed a millyon ba- bies. An whin Thaydore Rosenfelt kisses q baby. thousands iv mothers in
 t.sa an tn baby knows it's been kissed an bears tn hon'rable scar through life. Twinty years firm now tn counthry will be full iv young fellows lookin' as though they'd grajated firm a German college.
 Its been a sad occasion. this lave takin iv faithful servant to hIs sub ticks At tin o'clock tn prisidentyal thrain comes in to tn deepo where n vast assemblage iv sorrowin' people are gathered. They show their grief be sobbing: Good boy, Tiddy.' We want ye again Down with tn trusts an other signs i' grief. As he steps off tn thrain a band plays: T cannot make my eyes behave. an a crowd iv sympathetic citizens takes tn horses off his carredge an hauls him to tn public square. where he makes a pathetic speech: Fellow citi- zens. fellow republicans. fellow dim mycrats. fr bar none in me sympa- thies. an dimmycrats are as inthrested in tn control iv this governmint as we are though not to be trusted with it. in openin' this campaign fir me re tirement it gives me gr-reat pleasure to see such a magnificent an enthusi- astic assimblage. Ii shows that ye'er ready to begin in tn fight that I hope will end next Novimber in me trium- phant election long an continyued cheering) as prisident iv DePaw uni varsity Oaughter). Forchnitely We have excellent presidential timber in tn raypublican party. There's me sicrety iv state. MT. F.. Root. (Groans) We will next pass lightly on to w. Taft. He's an excellent good fellow, Bill Tact. Ye must know that or wud niver have made him me sicrety iv war an give him d letter to carry to me impeeTyal brother. tn Mikydoo. There's two I've named. There are many others. I cant recall thim, but there are There's Fairbanks. CDis- turbance in the aujeence) He's been our vice-prisident fr four years, an a good. kind. funny choking poor old thing he is, too. He has a failing. as 'ye all know. But there are few iv us perfect. Tn throuble with him is that tn very smallest amount goes to-but why mention if. l wasn't aware iv it whin 1 lunched with him an see him shakin' d mixer iv cocktails in each hand like a minsthrel performer playin
 tn bones He says now I made tn
 iniquitous but agreeable bev'rage. don't blame him. Poor fellow. he fr- gifts. But I wish to say to me tim prance frinds here assimbled that if Chuckling Charley Fairbanks shud be ilivated to tn prisidency We will all
 turn in an do our best to keep him away firm that pernicious fluid that
 hiteth like an asp and stinGeth like ar adder those that don't take it. Ii
 n:cissry secret sarvice officers Cud be kept in tn white house an whin ht begins to take cough medicine or cali
 saya lock him up till tn craving Ina:
 past Indeed, l have great hopes tha
 he may masther tn habit yet.
 T have now given We ivrv reason know why ye shud cast ye'er impeerya suffrage fr amy iv these men. I vii now speak wurrud iv advice to we
 To tn mimbers iv tn grand arm~ iN tn ravpublic befure me l say don't b' cCw'rds. weddings an milk-sops. l ! had had weddings with me at Sar loon hill. tn first great military actior iv our counthry's histhrv. how fev wud've come ID an tined me on tn
 top iv that mim'rable hump. To tn mothers befure me l say bring up ye'ei
 boys to keep or a fighting edge. don't mean tE' kind iy a fighting edg d boy cud get at Charley Fairbanks house, but that kind iv sober, pru dent. sane, if-ye-say-ano I'll -give-He-a -whackin th'-eye atti chood ti.at with tn other things I hav' been acle to Go in q too-limited peer yod has made Us tn nation we are. now arrive at tn main point iV me ar -vmint, an I ask 70 to give me ye'e undivided attintion. Will tn little lad. ! near tn dure blaze stuff her apron il tn mouth iv tha: beautiful brat tha will wan day grow up to be q prisident I'm sure? Will tn gintleman with th plug hat that l recognize as a fellov mimber iv tn knights iv pythias. kind | ly set down. Now, men an women i' the State iv MiZZoury, all together