The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1907-07-05

Papa-I never told lies when was
a boy, Willie. Willie-When did you
begin, papa?-Slovo.
Cholly enthusiastically )-She is for
ever smiling upon NE! She-Awfully
polite girl! Every one else laughs out
THAT horse was capable of winning
in walk" "And did he?" mo. They
foolishly entered him in running
race. Washington Herald.
Molly-When you spoke to father did
you tell him you had $500 in the bankf
George-Yes Molly-And what did he
say? George = He borrowed it.
Sketchy Bits
She-When l accepted Jack, he said
he felt as If he was in the seventh
heaven! He-I can we'll believe it. He
has been engaged six times before
Flegende Blaetter.
Cholmondely-You and your sister
are twins, are you not? Marjoribanks
We were when We were children.
Now, however, she Is five years younger
than cleveland Leader.
Maud-So you are to be married at
last. Did Jack have much trouble get
ting your fathers consent? Belle-Not
so much as papa and | had in getting
Jack's Snrinpfield ITnion
Prospective Pa-in-Law-You under
stand that you do not get the dowry
until the end of the first year? Suitor
oh, all right; will postpone the
wedding until then. Meggendorfer
Blaetter.
Sometimes think have more troll
bles than any other man on earth"
Nonsense! Look at Thompson. He's
got wife,. an automobile and a sure
system for beating the races."-Les-
lies Weekly.
Tramp-Madam, am suffering from.
Indigestion. Lady-Why, I'm sorry.
What can do to help you? Tramp
Madam, you can cure me Instantly by
giving me something to dlgest.-Har-
Der's Weekly.
Mrs. Lawson--How can Mrs. Wykes-
leigh afford to keep three servantst.
Mrs Dawson-Oh, she plays bridge
with them every Monday afternoon.
and wins back all their wages-So-
merville Journal.
Baker-Do you think it Is true that
two can live as cheaply as onef Bar
ker-Not much. Since I've been pay
Ing alimony to Mrs. Barker it has cost
me double what it did when she was
my better half.-Life.
Servant Maid-I left my last place
because l couldn't get enough to eat.
won't find that the case
here. My wife does the cooking, and
there is always a lot left after every
.-Meggendorfer Blaetter.
Little boy" said the good woman,
"do you alwaystell the truth?" "No'm."
Don't you know it's very, very
naughty to lie?" "Yes'm." "Then why
DO you it?" 81 don't Sometimes I'm
TOO busy to talk" Philadelphia Ledger.
"He's a great growler, isn't he?'
Hurricane is nothin' to him." Finds
fault with everything?" Worst you
ever saw" "By the by-what is he do
Ing now?" Editing the Band Of
Hope and Sunshine department Of a
new magazine !"-Atlanta Constitution.
Grandma-Were you surprised to
have me come and visit you? Johnny
Not so surprised as mamma was
: ,ndma-Why, she knew was COM
lA.k. Johnny-Yes; what she was sur
prised at was papa's language when
she told him about it.-Cleveland Lead
er.
Mrs. Hoon (in the midst of her read
lng)-Here Is an item which says that
a certain man in Philadelphia was
fined $40 for holding girls hand. Mr..
Hoon-Well, l don't know that that is
too much for a person in Philadelphia
10 pay for little excitement.-Broad-
way Magazine.
"Now, be careful how you drive. cab
by, and go slowly over the stones, for I
hate to be shaken. And, mind you, pull
up at the right house and look out for
those dreadful railway vans" Never
fear sir; I'll do my best. And which
'orspital would you wish to be taken to,
sir, in case of an ?"-London
Tit-Bits.
Visitor Ito the country theatrical
But why have you so small
a stage and so deep an orchestral
Stage Manager-That is a brilliant idea
of mine. When the audience throw
things at the actors, they fall short
and hit the musicians. Musicians are
cheaper than actors. MeggendorfeR
Blaetter.