davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-25
iNvENTs A HUMANE BULLET.
Frenchman pevises a Proieetite o
Paper and Aluminium.

Frenchman pevises Proieetite Of
Paper and Aluminium.
A French officer has invented new
projectile. for firearms which is said
to wound and kill as the usual bullets
but does not present the ravaging &C
ton of the present projectiles of re-
peating rifles. This new missile is
not of metal but of paper surrounded
by thin shell Of aluminium.
According to the inventor, the paper
bullet, fired at the same distance, un-
der the same circumstances and with
the same precision as the ordinary
bullet, produces thoroughly smooth
wound. The number Of disabled sol.
diers will be no less If the projectile
of the future were to be the paper bull.
let, but the number Of dead and fatal
~ wounded would be considerably de
creased, as the shot fired with steel
3projectile tends to produce blood pois-
oning, while the paper bullet is said to
only bring on durable injury.
The inventor; has sent his bullets
for approval to all the governments
belonging to the convention Of Geneva
and the Austrian war ONCE has Or
dered trials to be made Of the fnven.
tion. 5s.,lii. ,5 ~. ..
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-25
The Selfish Reason.

Bernard K. Green, the we'll known
consulting engineer Of Washington,
said the other day, in discussion Of the
new Pennsylvania capitol, which he
helped to build:
'"The trouble with every question is
that self-seeking enters into it. Were
there no self-seekers. the world would
be very Utopia. But as it is
He smiled.
'Why yesterday" he said, Gin a
talk about Irritation in a cafe, l heard
well dressed man say earnestly:
"I maintain that all water used for
drinking and culinary purposes should
be boiled at least one hour
"'You are a physician, presume? 2
said a thin man, respectfully.
"'No, SIR was the reply. 4 am a
coal DEALER"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-25
IRg cOOD HEALTH


"a ~ 60 Arto6t Fatal Decline una
tle1ellid ~ 9ys$sHa. n,
~ + liiy ves akIaess caused " =
sde1llsoGy 81 the blood can be cured
~ ~; = = g u. Williams Pink pills
.hec NJ NO. pills actually maie new
ihlssl. After attacks Of the grip the
teosl' - generally run down and the
patieat es1tinues TO decline.
"Abo1t three years ago." says Mrs.
Jeaniei 0owan. ef 718i N. Henry
Street Vest Bay City, Mich, Il
caught q severe cold, which ran into
the gr1p. was confined to my bed
for two weeks. At the end Of that
time I was able te be about, but was
completely run down. was 90 weak
I eeuld hardly stand, my cheeks had
no color and I felt faint. My heart
would dutter and It was difficult for
me to breathe at times. Neuralgia
settled In the back Of my head and
stomach and suffered from rheuma
tism in nay shoulders.
81 had the care Of the best docto,
In town but became nd better until a
friend told me one day how she had
been cured by DR.. Williams Pink
Pitts and decided to try them. 1
soon felt better and continued USING
them until was entirely cured. They
built me up again to perfect health
and use them now whenever feel
ut all sick and they always help me"
DR.. Williams Pink Pills are inval.
unable In such cases, as we'll as in
other blood diseases, because they not
only drive OF the germs Of the disease
but build up the system. The pills
have cured aaaenia, rheumatism, at.
ter-e6ects Of fevers, neuralgia and
many other severe disorders.
DIR. Williams Pink Pills are sold
by all druggists, or sent, postpaid, on
receipt 0f price. 50 cents per box,
six boxes $2.1e. by the DR.. Williams
Medicine ConeaHy. Schenectady, N. z
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-25
WHICH Was HITi
That's What the Client Wanted 60
\, Know Of Hlel aweyer. S AS

That's What Che Client Wanted 60
Know Of tlls Lawyer. s !.
$4 Patrick Murphy, while passing down
fremont street, was hit on the head by
q brick which fell from q BULL Ing III
process Of construction. 55
"a One Of the first things he did after
being taken home and put to bed was
TO send for lawyer.
a few days later he received word to
call. as his lawyer had settled the
case.
He called and received ave>crisp
new 500 bills. Its
"How much did you get?" he asked
Two thousand dollars" answered
the lawyer.
1.-TWO thousand, and you give me
$500! Say. who got hit by that brick,
you or me?"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-25
HAS SEEN MANY CHANGES.
Senator Teller Talks Of Colleagues
Past and Present.

Nov the senate chamber itself
doesn't seem widely different from
what it was then, but everything else
ls changed. None Of the men who
we're here then are here to-day. and
IA more seats are used. Seven states
have been admitted since then, you
know" This was said by Senator
Teller Of Colorado, and the time he
spoke Of was 80 years ago, when he
first became a member of that body.
Of which ne is stiil a member. De-
cember 3 was the thirtieth anniver.
sary Of Mr.. Teller's entrance into the
senate. It was on DECEMBER 3, 1876,
that he was sworn IN for the first
time.
Colorado became state In 1876"
he continued, which explains why
my colleague, ]. B. Chaftee, ana my.
SELF entered the senate at the BEGIN.
ming Of short session. drew the
term which ended on March 4 follow
ing. 90 that wouldn't have been q
senator very long II ha1 MT been
Immediately elected to succeed my
self for Q term Of the, regular length,
This reelection came on Dacember Il.
just eight days alter l Arst took nv
seat Only one other man Who 10
9 member q the senate now was :
member them said MI. TelIes. With Z
hook n his eyes that went much fur.
ther than the confines Of tho senate
chamber. That u Senator Aliisoa.
He y not here. and I an sorry. !
would hke TO- enjoy the anniversary
with him. g. Washington Dispatch 10
the Boston Transcript.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-25
The Nature Of an Oath.

The late Judge M.Russell Thayer OF
Philadelphia used to tell a good story
about brother jurist who was an en-
thusiastic golfer
The golfing Judge, according to the
story, had occasion to interrogate in .
criminal suit boy witness from Bala
Now, my lad," he said, Il want to
know if you are acquainted with the
nature and significance of an oath?"
The boy, raising his brows in sur
prise, answered.
"Of course am, sir. Don't caddy
for you at the Country club?"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-25
C ] :! ll|Il | ! ; !, AT CAPITAL
WASHINGTON SEEMS TO HAVE
ATTRACTIONS ron THEM.
authorities Familiar with Many
Strange. :. Halluclnatiens, But %.
easionalIy Meet . New One
n: The Old Timer.

:: JUST III insects are attracted ~
the bright glare Of an electric light
90 are cranks attracted to Washing.
ton by the converting Of congress-, and
each year brings new faces with new
Authorizations. Some Of the old
timers. who have managed somehow
to keep out Of the foolish house, are
here again, notably the fellow who
has Q scheme for bottling sunshine.
but among the brand new ones is a
tall fellow from the west who Is
Glad in semi-military costume. His
hauucination Is we'll defined, and an
ex-policeman who was tackled by the
Military parsonage remarked:
II that fellow keeps outside Of the
cray walls Of st. Lizzie's two days
lenger I will miss my guess, and
have been handling 'queers' for nigh
unto Is years"
It Is said the newcomer declares he
Is the commander Of the armies and
navies OF the world, and the United
States; also chief Of police Of the
earth, and governor general Of North
end South America" He is here, he
says. to have congress pass, upon the
trtfltng sum Of is billions Of dollars
that he requires to keep his military
and police forces intact for another
year.
The capitol police are on the look
out for the variegated commander
and other Of his kind, and when he
gees to the big white structure to an,
range for the passage Of the bill for
his billions, he will be taken into
custody, and then-St. Lizzie's and a
season Of solitude.
Several members Of Inspector
Beardnan's detective corps were in
the front Office at police headquarters
one afternoon when victim Of old
rye came along the steep grade Of
the street walking with such an un.
certain step that it was feared he
would meet with personal injury.
When he had stepped from the pave.
ment to the street and back again
several times the suggestion Vas
made that one of the officers make a
case, but while they were discussing
the pedestrians condition the latter
made a sharp turn and headed for
the building.
How are you, Cap?" was the ia,
miliar manner in which he address
ed one of the detectives. I saw you
rubbering and I thought I'd make q
call. Do you want me for any.
thing?'
want you for anything?" repeat,
ed one of the detectives. who are
you?"
"Never mind about that" said the
caller. Il want to know If my rec
ord is clear or If you want me fol
anything"
The sleuths admitted that they
knew Of no charges having been pre-
ferred against him and told the caller
that be might be excused. He was
not asking for an excuse, he said;
he had merely called to pay his re-
spects. Although none of the men
In the Office knew him. he was able
to recall the boyhood days of many
Of them.
1T is rather refreshing to meet
old friends" said the caller. 1.-THE
meeting has refreshed me 80 much
that am now able to walk home, and
tell mother all about it. Good day."
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-25
FIRST WORD a KNOCK.
ling Thought Sermon Had 4 Personal
Applieation.

ling Thought Sermon Had q Personal
Application.
James I. OF England and vi. Of Scot
md was, as every one knows, deficient
\ vigor and steadiness. Having heard
famous preacher who was very witty
his sermons and peculiarly SO in his
hoice OF texts, he ordered this clergy
nan to preach before him. With all
suitable gravity the learned divine
gave out his text in the following
words: James, first and sixth, in the
latter part of the verse. He that
wavereth is like wave of the sea
driven with the wind and tossed"
"Odd-chickens! He's at me already"
exclaimed the king.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-25

So Convenient.
Agent-This is the automobile you
want. You never have to crawl under
it to fix it.
Spaker-You don't?
Agent-No. If the slightest thing
goes wrong with the mechanism, it in,
stantly turns bottom side up.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-25
How He Expressed 1t.

An old man had been made mayor
of little village, and, wishing to
thank the inhabitants for the honor
done him, called them all together.
Then he began as follows:
yellow citizens: l shall never for
get the day in which you deigned to
put my white hairs over your heads. !"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-25

Total Observation-Disclosures. $500
All for l2c postpaid in order to intro.
duce our warranted seeds, and if you
will send Ice we will add one package of
Berliner Earliest Caulifower. together
with our mammoth plant, nursery stock,
vegetable and farm seed and tool catalog.
This catalog is mailed free to ell in
tending purchasers. Write to-day.
John A. Salzer Seed Co., Box w, La
Crosse. Wis.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-25
Paradise.

"Whah not only de wicked ceases
from .troublin', an de weary am at
rest, but whah." here Parson Crinkle.
top lowered his voice to a hoarse whis.
per, while he learned far over the pull.
pit to look hts awe-struck flock the
fuller in the face, "dey has ter stop
in de middle oh de oolleckshin, ter go
and empty de bex!"-Puck.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-25

Sought Place Of Safety.
Mrs. Rurale - Did you ever find Z
man under the bed?
Mrs. Outskirts-Yes, the night W
thought burglars were In the house
found my husband there.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-25

WE PAY THE HIGHEST PRICE
for butter fat in cream. Write for price
Milton Dairy Co., st. Paul.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-25

Garfield Tea (the Herb remedy which ia
Guaranteed under the Pure Food and
Drugs Lawl should be taken to regulate
the Liver, Kidneys, stomach and bowels,
and to purify the blood.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-25
Nothing Easier.

Prospective Purchaser - Is there
any way to get rid of the odor of an
automobile?
Dealer-Certainly, sir. Always run
the machine at rate of speed SUN.
sient to keep ahead Of it,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-25
Or. J. II. R,NpLAvs, (spee,allst).
Eye, Ear, Nose and Throat,
Fargo, N. D.
The Other Way.

"How do you like your hair cut?"
asked the barber, who was anxious to
please.
"Oh," replied the customer, who was
a man Of few words.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-25

Dont forget that the brown stone
front usually depends ON a homely
brick rear for support.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-25

A Big Bargain for 12 Cents Postpaid.
The year of 1905 was one of prodigal
plenty on our seed farms. Never before
did vegetable and farm seeds return such
enormous yields.
Now we wish to gain 100000 new Gus
toners this year and hence offer for l2c
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-25

Practice makes perfect at least
piano practice Is calculated to make
perfect martyrs Of the neighbors.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-25
Bound to walk. Anyway.

SOUND 70 Walk, Anyway.
"Pd hate to have your job," said the
friend of newly appointed district
foreman Of the White Wings, "just
walking the streets all the time.''
WELL" replied the man. "Id sure
be walking the streets il didn't have
the job.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-25

PUTNAM FADELEss DYES color a.
mast twice rs mueh as any other dye and
cost you the same. l0c per package.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-25

TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAT
Take LAXATIVE BROMO Quinine Tablets. Drug.
Ris 9 refund none, II 1t fails to cure. n W
GROVES signature Is on each box. 80,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-25

Fully nine-tenths of your earthly
troubles would vanish ii you didn't
talk SO much.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-25

TOP PRioas FOR HIDES. EURs AND
Pelts. Write for Circular No. 0. N. w.
Hide s Eur Co.. Minneapolis. MINI.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-25
Could Not Be Worse.

well, how are you getting on?"
Don't ask me. Just as badly as
next year."
Next year?"
Certainly. Nowadays every year Is
worse than the last, and things can't
be worse with me next year than they
are now"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-25
Life Sentence.

"Poverty's no crime"
1T amt? Then why is it punish.
able by hard labor?"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-25

Panthers and Grizzly Bears.
Ship Furs, Hides. Pelts Mcmillan Fur g.
Wool Co.. Minneapolis. Write for prices.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-25

Love makes the parlor dark and the
heart light.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-25

Mrs. WinslOw's Soothing Syrup.
alays pain. wind collie. go bottle
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-25
An lnsinuati

An lnsinuation.
1.-The good die young"
what makes you think so?"
"You have passed middle age,
haven't you?"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1907-01-25

The older a man becomes the fewer
fool friends he has.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1907-08-29
Value of Good Roads.

The farmer is by no means the
only one who benefits by good high
ways. Every town merchant is vital
ly concerned in the good roads move
ment, whether he Is aware Of the fact
or not
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1907-08-29
County Seat
Local and Personal Events
Tersely Told.


the gncst of relatives in town.
/ Carl Wrede has gone to Sayre
" here he has taken n position in
the machine shops.
Jnlnes Collins Of Dnshofe is Wis
iting his grandparents. Mr.. and
Mrs. McNcllon.
w. a. Petrikin and family of
WierWold Cottage enjoyed a drive
to Eagles Mere Monday.
A son was born to Mrs. Samnr.
Ritter on Monday August 2G
Mr. George Shoemaker of Clarks-
town, visited at the home of his
son VIM. p. Shoemaker over Sum
day.
! Hon. T. J. Ingham and grand
daughter Miss Eunice Ingham
visited Mr.. and Mrs. Fred Lauer
ab Muncy laSt week.
Mr.. Carl Bird of Estella. who has
been engaged for principal of our
Boro schools was in town last week
| Mr.. Bird is young man of pleas
ing personally and made some very
pleasant acquaintainces during his
short stay in town.
Monday at the home of the
brides mother at Williamsport,
Mr.. II. c. Beals was united in mar
riage with Miss Mary Pearl Keeler.
The bride is well known in this
section, having formerly made her
home with her sister Mrs. Robert
Simmons of Sonestown.
Walter Lorah. son of Mr.. and
Mrs. ID. II. Lorah of Sonestown,
who for the past year has been
holding splendid position as civil
engineer at Washington, d. c..
has gone to the Panama canal
where he is employed in the Mine
Engineering Department.
Burrows Woodley, the young
man who was injured at Picture
Rocks about two weeks ago by hav-
ing the end of u file penetrate his
abdomen, is not dead as reported,
but ON the way to recovery at his
home at Hillsgrove.
The annual excursion of the
guests of Forest Inn, Eagles Mere,
to Satterfield occurred Monday and
was enjoyed by 300 people who
were the guests of General Manag-
er Townsend. of the w. & n. b.
railroad. Last Friday evening the
annual excursion of the 100 or
more employees of the Forest Inn
went to Hughesville.
The man who is not benefited by
IL good sermon is devoid of under
standing.
Settlement he's been made by the
Lehigh and Wilkes-Ba Coal Co.
,,;th +la e,,,;t;oc ,f ~, -, =, 80.
who were killed by white damp at
Honeybrook last month. This was
the first accident under the new
liability act. The company will
pay each widow $50 a month until
her youngest child is ~ years of
age. Each family will also get two
J ,ads of coal free every month.
Maryland is sending invitations to
her sons and daughters scattered
every where to come to grand re-
union, and is making extensive pre-
paratiOns to give them a week of
right royal entertainment when
they come. Old Home Week covers
the dates, October IL to 10, and
there will not be a moment of that
time that will not thrill with the
spirit of hospitality for which the
Old Line State is famous.
Married Elmira n. Y,
August 10, Mr.. Karl Wrede, of La
Porte, and Miss Mayme Buck,
daughter of Sheriff Frank w. Buck
of the saMc place. were united in
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1907-08-29
/. S. Mabee.
Williamsport.
NOTICE OF DISSOLUTION OF PAR,

NOTICE OF DISSOLUTION OF PAR
TNERSHIP.
Notice is hereby given that the part.
nership heretofore existing between j. g..
Cott and Henry Krause, who were en-
gagged in the butchering business in La
porte, Pa. was on May %, 1907 dissolv
ed hy mutual agreement. Al persons
having any claim or claims against said
partnership will please present said claim
for payment to either OF the undersigned,
and those indebted to said partnership
will make payment to either
I. G. COrT,
Forksville, Pa. r F. ID. No. ,
or 10 HENRY KRAUSE, Laporte
In re: estate OF Benjamin G. Welch.
deced.
The undersigned having been appoint
ed executor OF the above estate. all per
sons indebted to said estate are requested
to make payment, and those having
claims to present the same without delay,
to
George w. Clit1e, philadelphia.
or 56l4 Germantown Ave.
Cheten Trust Company.
Germantown, Philadelphia
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1907-08-29
I.APORTE HOTEL.
F.. W, GALLA AGH ER, Prop.

Newly erected. Opposite Court
House square. Steam heat. bath rooms,
hot and cold water. reading and pool
room, and barber shop; also good stabing
and livery,
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1907-08-29

WANTED: A good girl for gen
eral house work. Woman of thirty
os forty preferred Work not hard
family of four. Will hire washing
done, if necessary. Good wages to
good woman. No others need
apply.
|. S. Mabee,
Williamsport.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1907-08-29
NCTIE OF APPLICATION FOR
CHARTER

Notice is hereby given that an applica
ton will be made to the Hon. Chas. +.
Terry, President Judge of the Court OF
Common Pleas of Sullivan County on the
10th day of September, 1907. Tor the char
ter OF corporation. to be called, ''Moun-
tain Ash Cemetery Association, OF La
porte, Pa" the character and object of
which are to acquire title, possession and
management OF suitable grounds within
the Borough OF Larorte, Sullivan county.
Pa to be used for cemetery purposes; TO
improve and beautily the said grounds
and TO protect the same from desecration
or intrusion; to lay out and sell suitable
lots ior in,erring therein the todies Of
the dead; and further to have general
care. control and management of the
grounds and property Of the cemetery
association and for these purposes to
have, possess and enjoy all the rights and
privileges OF the Corporation Act Of 1874
and its several supplements.
f. w. MEYIERT, Solicitor.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1907-08-29

The Village Improvement Society
will meet mt the home Of Mrs. Frank
inghain next Tuesday evening. "A
prompt attendance "f all the mem
Der, Is requested, ~ business OF inn
pDrtance is to he transacted.
Miss Mary IIeaton of Celestia
who WAS employed 10y Mrs. Phillip
karge. had the misfortune to
break her arm last Tuesday.
When hundreds Of 4am aud chick
Ell sandwiches fell at Eagles Mere
during u thunder storm the other
day, folks wondered what miracle
was being performed which should
cause food to drop from the heavens
SAYS IL dispatch fro = the IN 'untain
resort.
For twenty minutes tn, sandwich :
es fell, with now and then Il chunk
of chocolate, to vary the monotony,
Some olives and Il few pickles ais }
came along now and then pie.
1t was explained few hours later,
when IA picnic party came along
aud told how tornado had ripped
up things at the grounds. The table
had been set and the dinner bell was
about to be sounded when a rip
snCrting wind came down through
the woods and carried off every bit of
food.
Strangely enough several layer
cakes We're left behind, and the
women who baked them We're hum
iliated. They said that some unkinu
person might think they were to
heavy to move. Bellefont Gazette.
- ~ - - At
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1907-03-28

When was little girl we lived ia
the country about q mile from the
little school-house. Every pleasant
day we girlaEalked to school. Wheh
it was stormy my father generally
took us over Ia thasmorning. and We
stayed at school during the day.
Our horse. Charley vas very
knowing and kind. He knew 40
well the way from our house to the
school that he was ofsed trusted 70 90
alone. - -. a
:, Often toward the close Of q stormy
afternoon my father Would iiarpess
the good horse 70 the wagon, take
himto the@road soaosay. :;ChAsles,
go and get the girls. IL
y chstley would dstot down the road
TO the school-house, turn the wagon
so that be was headed toHsrd home,
and there wait till school was out,
when we climbed iDt0abe wagon and
drove home There he was rewarded
with fovingwords. pats, and apples.
1 am glad 70 remember that our faith
full horse was always1reased kindly.
Father refused all offers to sell him,
and be ended his days with US
Youths Companion.