The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-07-18
DRIFT " OD
 RY PHIL n. ARMSTRONG.
Advertiser shots.

Advertiser Shots. Senator w. N. Hayes, of Limestone County, has the reputation of being the best story teller in the Senate. He tells the following:
 Captain Bibb, of Limestone. who was a candidate a few years ago. stopped try to spend the day.
 They had turnip greens for dinner. something very palatable to the Cap- tains taste. t The Captain being near sighted, reached over and grabbed what he took to be the vinegar cruet and proceeded to pour It's contents over his greens. The young lady, Ca member Of the began to snicker and said:
 Why Captain, that is sorghum" The Captain, who was noted for his politeness. but was sensitive about ms changing his expression: .- That's all right, nam: I always use ~orghum on my greens
 A messenger arrived at the door of the House of Representatives the oth. CT day and enquired of Uncle Ike. the old colored man who keeps ths door: !s M samuel William Johns member No, sir" was the auicx reply; '.Ne sich man is a membah of dis house" After scratching his head minute the venerable darkey said to himself: T wondah if dat fool meant Sam Win Johns?"
 Senate and House Page was sitting in the rotunda of the capitol recently Suddenly they heard a loud noise as If 1t were laundering.
 The Senate Page said:
 Gee, whiz--listen to that thunder a storm is coming" The House Page looked at him know ingly and replied;
 The Bills, Oh the legislators introduce the bills. Some have come from way off in tho There is local legislation Finance ana
 Taxation. There IS temperance and such Revisions and amenoments There's nothing they on't'touch Oh the bills, bills. bills. how they ciat>
 ter up the House On the bills. bills bills. on the senate
 too they souse. Till in dreams those legislators thinks
 they're introducing bills And they wake up nights a screamina As with aches and pains and ills. Oh to catch the speakers eye My oh my, how hard they try. They want to change the code. To improve a public road u To prevent a creek from flowing. To preclude cock from crowIng. Oh the bilIs bills. bills. bills. bills, bills,
 bills.
 Oh the hurry. furry, worry Of the bills.
 Will the person who got my keys and ring at Skirum. Ala, July 4th re- my lodge keys on the ring-Woodmen of the World. s. Brown Lloyd, Dawson, Ala.-Rural Exchange
 If you can't persuade 'em, may be you can Skirum.
 keeping Jack Busy. daring theft Jack wrought last night On darling little Rose: He stole something he wanted, right Beneath her very nose
 Philadelphia Press 'Tis to be hoped that if fair Rose Returned the Dlissful smack, Jack did not overlook-,a bet Rut turned and kissed her back.
 Houston Post. That may he as they do this job Down in the sunny south; But if Jack lived here in the North He'd kiss her in the mouth.
 The Commoner. Why rouse again the bitter strife. And North and South wax hot? Let's all agree to compromise %. lack kissed her on the spot.
 St. Louis Post-Dispatch. If Jack did kiss her on the spot, Upon the mouth and back to boot I'll bet SHE wouldn't compromise Withoutla breach of promise suit.
 The TennesseRn. And still the spur of the moment is A method so much better; Little Rose would surely enjoy it more So why then shouldn't he let her
 -Blrmingham News Quite paradoxical--he kissed Her on the mouth 1 know But he kissed her on the impulse or The moment-let it go.
 The Life Saving Thought. Oh the sweaty fretty weather, how its
 wiiting down our collar, How its ruffling up our temper, and
 our tie In lake of frozen sherbert we would
 like to go onS waller In the far of polar regions we would
 lie.
 With an Esqufmo wee maidern there to
 hand us frozen dainties While an ice frappe went dripping
 through our soul Oh just to hike away. Where the walrus are at play Where the freezing pJeasing artie btl-
 lows roll.
 Two bank clerks in Pittsburg have septic poison as a result of handling so much money. Tha. Is a disease we have always dreaded.
 Pigg of Kansas. has been cosvicted of highway robbery and will probably