The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-02-03

can be put into 6 Bill for the Riddles, so why star a combination of Onions?
 You take Jack and the Beanstalk. Riding Hood and Wolf, Crusoe and~ Fri day, the Boy on the Burning Deck or even the Captains Daughter who took her father by the Icy Mitt and gave him a good talking to. and any 7 one of them will guarantee the Little Folks run for their Money. They start something.
 If Mary had taken an enterprising Ram to school with her and the Ram had butted the Teacher in the Solar Plexus and then crashed through a Window and started down the Pike, upsettiig Policemen, Fat Women &nd Crippled Old Gentlemen, finally collid- ing with a can of Dynamite carried by an Irishman with Green SluEgers. there- by blowing up the whole Street and cripp1ing a large number of innocent Bystanders. the whole Episode would have contained enough Excitement and Real American Humor to justify a full Page of Pictures in three Colors.
 Or If 1t could be pointed out that Mary was the first person in this Coun- try to protect American Wool the story could be given certain Political Sig nificance.
 But the yarn has nothing to com mend 1t. No Criminal Interest. no bearing on Wall Street Operations. no satire on Modern Society. no Dialect not even a Moral fastened on the end like a whip-cracker.
 Yet We keep on using 1t. About the time the First Born Is big enough to begin learning Bridge Whist or finding out how many Cubic Yards of Earth will be taken from the Culebra Cut in the Isthmian Canal the misguided Par ents get him penned up in Corner and make him memorize the whole mess of Drivel about Mary's Little Lamb.
 They had it done to them when they were Young. and the only way they can catch even is by Stinging the New Generation.
 AfteY they get 1t all dinged into him, a Line at time, so that he can hold onto a Chair and. after swallowing his Palate two or three times, reel 1t of without a Hitch. what have they put into his youthful System to be carried around throughout Long Life
 He has learned that there was a Girl named Mary who was supposed to be the owner of Lamb. No doubt her Parents gave 1t to her-let her blow about her Proprietorship, and tie Ribbons on 1t and sprinkle it with Florida water and then when 1t came time to make a shipment of Sheep, Fa ther sold that Lamb along with the others and Mary never got in on the Divide.
 Probably if she asked about 1t they conned her by telling her that the Money was In the Bank
 One day the Lamb followed her up to the School. The presence of the Lamb afforded Amukement to the other Children. so the Teacher chased 1t out; but it hung around until Recess and then hunted up Mary. Some of the children wanted to know why the lamb was so stuck on Mary, and the Teacher, who knew everything in the World that Is worth knowing. made a Reply which Is supposed to be the Acme of Profound Wisdom and Sagacity. The Teacher ject, expressed the Opinion that the Lamb thought very well of Mary be- cause Mary was fond of the Lamb.
 That is the end of the story. It starts out as If something was going to happen. and then it blows up.
 As a Narrative 1t is not only Innoc- uous. but 1t is misleading.
 Mary is supposed to be a Typical American Girl. If she wanted a Pet, palm off e4 Lamb on her? Not on your happy childhood days.
 She would demand a registered Bos- ton Terrier worth Si5o, and when she took that to School with her Teacher would get on top If the desk.
 If the Youth Of our Land must put In many precious Hours finding out about Mary. why hot give them some thing hot of the Bat, covering the actual Facts of the case?
 Why not say that Mary had 1907 Motor Car. which she was learning to run herself; tell how Father had to mortgage tho Store in order to buy the Machine and what tho Neighbors said about the Family going without Meat In order to buy Gasoline?
 If you would interest the flippy Grammar School Girls of today. who begin Debutting Into Society while they still wear their Halr down the Back. tell them about Mary having e crack erjack of q Saddle Horse. and going out in the Park and meeting handsome College Boy and wanting to elope with hlTn, until her Pa had to sit up at night with Shot Gun across his Knees.
 Why not let Mary have something