The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1907-11-02
N~~~N@~N~~

He-So your husband has given up
smoking That wants pretty strong
will. She-Well, I've got one.-Punch.
Daughter-She seems to have got
over the death of her first husband.
Father-Yes, but her second husband
hasn't-Pick-Me-Up
Mrs. Smalltown-Would you accept
place in the suburbs? Cook-Iu con-
slider it IL yez have room in your garage
for me motor.-Town Topics
"what did you think of that girl at
her comlng-out parU" well, to be
perfectly frank, l thought she'd better
go back l"-Leslie's Weekly.
Mother-But what do you expect to
do later, my son, II you never learn to
write? Son-Oh, that will be all right.
I'll buy Observation-Disclosures.
MAY call you Mabel?" he asked
at their second meeting, pretending to-
be badly smitten. IF you wish to; but
my name Is Gertrude" Chicago Rec.
ord Herald. +
Candidate for Crew-Could you tell
me where the rhetoric class Is being
held? Candidate for Football don't
know I'm a student here myself
Town Topics.
Employer-This makes the fourth
grandmother of yours that has died
this spring. Office Boy know II;
amt these family troubles fierce -
Cornell Widow.
Snooks-To what do you attribute
your success as tradesman? Sellem
If a customer doesn't see what he
wants, make him want what he sees.
illustrated Bits.
whats become of your umbrellaT
II loaned 1t to Tompklns." why
doesn't he return lit" THE owner
caught him with it and demanded It"
Milwaukee Sentinel.
Father, do all angels have wfngsT
"No, my son, your mother has none"
And then she said, sweetly, that he.
might go to the club II he wouldn't stay
late ATLANTA Constitution.
Teacher-How long had Washington
been dead when Roosevelt was inaugu-
ratedl Scholar dunno, but 1t hasn't
been very dead since Teddy has been
there !-Lippincott's Magazine. :
do you think cabbage is unwhole-
someT asked the dyspeptic. ut de-
ponds somewhat" answered the food
expert, ION whether you eat it or try
to smoke Washington Star.
"Mrs. Rogers Is a perfect slave to
her husband" what does she DOR
would you believe it? Every year, on
his birthday, she gets up in time to eat
breakfast with him."-Leslie's Weekly.
Teacher-You have named all domes-
tic animals save one. 1t has bristly
hair, 1t is grimy, likes dirt, and is fond
Of mud. Well, Tom7. Tom (shame-
facedly) -That's me.-Chicago Trib--
une.
Mabel Jagged six)-Ain't you afraid
of our big dog? The Parson Every thin)
No, my dear. He would not make
much of a meal Off me- Mabel-Oh,
but he likes bones best.-Chicago Daily
News
"A tramp fell into the water tank Of
a locomotive and rode twenty
miles without being discovered" ''Wass
he unconscious when found?" mo.
Unrecognizable."- Plain
Dealer. ~
Dolly-Molly wolcott told me ~
month ago that her new gown was
going to be dream. Polly-Well. that
is all 1t is, so far. Her husband wont
give her the money for it.-Someryills
Journal.
"And do you have to be called In
the morning?" asked the lady who was
about to engage new girl. II don't
has to be, num-" replied the applicant,
unless you happens to need me-
Yonkers Statesman. :
"Your sentence is. to be suspended"
began the merciful court. Great
Scott, Jedge" exclaimed the prisoner,
"ef I'd knowed chicken stealing was
hanging offense / wouldn't have stole"
Philadelphia Ledger. ::
tistic young woman, ''muslc or poetry"
Poetry" answered Miss Cayenne You
can keep poetry shut up In a book.
You don't have to listen to It unless
you choose" Washington Star.
"Excuse me, sir" remarked the,
weary wayfarer, "but l., don't know
where my next meal Is coming from"
Neither do l." replied the prosperous
looking Individual. any cook left this
morning, too."-Philadelphla Record.
"Oh, madam" said the French maid,
"Fido weel not eat re bon-bons." ..grhs
dear, Intelligent little doggie !" exclaim-
ed Mrs. Rich. "There must be some
thing wrong with those bonbons. Cloe.
Give them to the children. York
Evening Mail. -
Chance TO Prove Himself.