The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1907-08-19
Ar the BOARDING
HOUSE TABLE
a Few Thlngs Explained.

at the boarding house breakfast table,
as he speared biscuit with his fork,
81 see this man. ex-senator Burton,
J has confessed out in San Francisco.
That was quite a graft mixup out
there, | guess"
Miss Chunky, the fat school teacher,
lhuriledly put her coffeo ,up down and
coughed. Then she laughed
Now, what do you think of. that?"
she said. Ex-senator Burton out in
Frisco! oh, Mr. Neverthink, you'll be
the death of me yet Youll make me
laugh myself to death. You ought to
read the newspapers"
Whats the iole?" asked the clerk,
, folding a pancake preparatory to put.
ting 1t in his mouth.
why ex-senator Burton isn't mixed
up in that San Francisco affair He's
from Kansas CITY, Mo. He never was
in Frisco, so far as / ever heard"
Pardon me, Miss Chunky" came
from Wheat, the grain man, but aren't
you wrong about Burton's being from
Kansas City? ] think"
There you go again, Mr.. Wheat
OF course, anything say in your pres
ence is wrong. In fact, when you're
I near I'm a regular knownothing," and
the fat school teacher cast lool, Of
scorn at the grain man. The latter
went down behind his newspaper and
there was silence for a moment.
well, didn't somebody confess 10
! In, rn,l
Neverthink.
Sure said the fat school teacher.
ut was this man Rueff Schmidt"
Didn't they try to blame the big
fire on him, Miss Chunky?" asked Miss
Primm, the little old maid.
"Oh, no. / think not" was the re.
ply. The earthquake caused that, be.
yond doubt"
Il thought" said Neverthink, stir.
ring his coffee round and round. chat
the Japs got mixed up in that trouble
and that President Roosevelt wasn't
going TO let them go to school"
Silly boy" came from Miss Chunky
AT the tinc Of the earthquake and
fire there were no Japs in Frisco"
''Did they FIRE them all out?" asked
the grain man from behind his paper
Al first the fat school teacher
thought the question was meant seri.
lously. 81 think not, she said. Then
the quiet laughter of the grain man
made her realize that he had sprung a
joke and that she had bitten"
But, by the way. Mr.. Wheat" she
added, '1d rather you wouldn't spring
any of your coarse witticisms at my
expense. You ought to be playing end
man IN the minstrel show of George
Cohan. You're fmnier / think, than
even George Primrose Dockstader. But
your work Is coarse"
The grain man did not reply. The
railroad man next to him smiled
family.
81 thought" said Neverthlnk, that
II was Just the other way. | under.
stood the Jap school children wanted
to labor and the president said, No,
sir; you'll go TO school Then when
he did It this Queen Alexandra, dow.
ager empress Of China and Japan, got
sore"
Goodness me, Mr.. NeVerthlnkl"
said the fat school teacher. "Why on
earth don't you put in few minutes
a day and read the newspapers? You
talk idiotically. The empress Of China
has nothing TO do with Japan. further
than to keep Siam out Of her hands.
And Queen Alexandra is the wife Of
England's kaiser, not of China's
mikado"
That so?" said Nsverthlnk inno-
Gently. 81 thought It was the other
way"
The grain man smiled at the rail-
road man and the latter smiled back.
But they both kept dlstreetly quiet.
Everybody was busy eating for cou-
Pile of minutes and then Neverthink
said:
Il see Harry Thaw has got his luna.
tic commission. Looks like that fell
low can get anything he wants eh?"
He didn't want It" responded Miss
Chunky quickly. "He says he'd rather
go to the electric gallows than to an
insane asylum"
They call them nut factories, don't
they, Miss Chunky" asked Wheat
without smile.
Not at all" replied the fat school
teacher haughtily Nut factory is
slang for iron foundry Iron nuts are
made for bolts at such places"
rs there such place as a cocoanut
factory?' asked Wheat.
Funny again, eh?' came from Miss
Chunky TT seems to me that after
each meal here have TO sit down ana
take a rest Mr.. Wheat's alleged jokes
make me so tired"
Again Wheat went out OF sight be.
hind his paper.