Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1907-04-13

posed In case of war. we may az well
remember that the Austrians thought
Spain would he able to whip us with.
out calling on any Of her reserve forces.
Ethical passion Ii an excellent thing,
the Christian Register Is willing to ad.
NIT. but ethical action II a better one,
and by the latter the former IL tested.
Tho London Lancet says the Christ.
mas pudding IL not indigestible. Not
unless you cat Ii.
Nebraska farmer wants a pretty
girl arrested as witch. because his
son can't stay away from her. II the
precedent Is established al the women
In the country will he In Jail.
~e0
Race suicide" of course, would re-
suit In there being fewer children In
the mills and factories. but
0>
Count Icppeleln has spent all his for.
tune trying to sail through the clouds.
All his palaces are now castles In the
air.
Evidently the people Of England re.
gard the old plan for tunnel under
the English Channel as a terrible bore.
~SA
A man named Gong has recently been
for money. the whole town Is likely to
hear II.
~
What tho Northwest needs Is nm In.
vcntion that will enable snow to be
used for heating purposes.
~6
A western political club Is said to
have adopted the strawberry as Its en-.
blem. Then the members ought to
know each other by their strawberry
marks.
|
Only murtlercrs who have bright
lawyers could think OF "Justihablc In.
sanity" us u defense.
~
Tho Observation-Disclosures SEM;
ment doesn't seem to appeal verJ
strongly to Englishmen of the Swetter'
ham.Sir Alfred Jones type.
DIR. Wiley says cold meat isn't good
after three months. Some Of the cold
meat served ut bOardlng-hOuses doesn't
taste good after three days.
Tho man who says blondes Will ais
appear In 600 years has perhaps over
looked the fact that the drug stores ex'
poet to be working right along.
Any man can tell Il lie, but 1t takes 4
born diplomat to induce people to be-
lleve II.
1t seems almost foolish of the Mas
sachusetts legislature to talk of stop
ping faith healing. For people who art
not sick there Is apparently notlins
wrong with faith healing.
\GSA
Prof, Pierre Jouet calls the peran
bIlations of n paralyzed man sOmnam
!, bullsm. In America 1t would be called
n plpe'dream, professor.
~SA
4 bank Is now issuing $23 bills, bu
rs they will be just rs scarce ms al
other kinds the change does not appea
to the average bread-wlnner.
~GA
Having been greeted by the Presi
. dent as fellow citizens" the POrt'
u Ricans may now feel ut liberty to thinl
I of Speaker Cannon as Uncle Joe.
~6A
II the Swedish Investigator has real
: ly succeeded In overcoming gravitA
q ton, then flying machines should onl!
be II matter of buckling on II pair 0
lO'cent wings.
II ~9A
Some of the people of Porto Rico ar
v talking of winning liberty with swOr
and gun from the servitude imposed b.
the United States" 1t may be neces
le sary for Taft to pack his grip again.
10 Time was when the antl-pass bill
was the best joke of the legislative sea
son. Are the American people losin
+. their sense of humOr?
y %e@
l. Unfortunately the laws of Californi
IS do not provide for the hanging OF graf
d ers who used for their own benef
% money that was sent for the relief Q
(. the people who We're rendered homeless