The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-03-24
By E. P. Dunne.

4
 mornin.' She was just through whin ye
 come in. Tn music teacher arrived at
 ten o'clock an at len five Misther Mc-
 Graw boorded an east bound ear in tn
 direction iv tn, lake. I had to stay.
 Things that will dhrive man firm
 home won't dhrive him fir ma saloon
 Tn entertainment begun an wint on
 to it's usual tenth. I've got it timed
 exactly. fr tn music teacher Is hired be
 tn hour. She's infatchooated with tn playin' iv her pupil. but whln peeped in wan day I see her lookin' Ut Tn clock. I've got. tn performance timed to tn minyit, but I can't help 1t. iyry
 day l give way to onnanly hopes that I may be wrong. I think me clock may'ye stopped. but 1t hasn't Thin l hope tn music teacher or tn pianny will jump out iv tn window or, Gawd f'rgiyA me, mething will happen to tn poor girl hersilf. l pray to Keep firm thinkin' that tn innocint young thing may luckily squash knuckie, not lad. dye mind, but enough so that I can get in me wurruk with Dock . Ieary an have him tell her if she doesn't stop practison' awhile she'll niv- CT be able to get a widdfn ring on ne. finger. But nawthin' iver happens. AZ . tn end iv tn haif hour she $ as IT resn as iver, while I've haroiy sAreA6tn " aAfther these prelIm'naries tn thrafner hauls out Tn March " NOT ma or Tn F'iIly iv tn Rig mint. daN- in an extensive acquaintance among
 tn marrid with families l knew tnIn two gr-reat wurruks be heart Tn music teacher sets on @ small cnair ] alongside tn pianny stool an me neighbor sets on tn psanny stool II isn't high enough to give her tn prop, CT reach f'r tn back mo1ar teeth " tn pianny san she gets up an twists lt. Thin she sets down again an looks undherneath tn pianny to see II sne got her feet right on tn pedals; ner face assumes an expression iy man about 10 make a difiic1it pool shot TT in. corner pocket: tn music teacher begins: one an, tive an three an wan. two, threes Thin I hear: Duhi' rum te:' wait thin, Dun, Dunn te dunn. te--;' another wait; thln, puin. Dunn te dunn. dunn te dum, dunn te auhi. She wavers; she stops; not aIraiu " wound. as tn pote says, she's afraid to 1 sthrike. Will she do 1t I ask me- silf. Will she hit that note or will she desert her post like a cow'rd am lave me suspinded in tn cir be me acnlh teeth? I can't set still waitin IT neF decision. pace tn room; pluck mar yously at mo buttons; look at th clock; I thry to think " soHeaa'ns . more pleasant--like where I'm goih to get th, rent money; sn' nnliy as tn nninnyits fly into years I rush to th window an call out: tF'r hivens sake, Mary Ann, wallop 1t. Who wud pc free thimsilyes must sthrike tn blow Hit it, darllnt, an save me last remaih- in flicker iv intiiligence.'
 This is tn way 1t goes, alanns .. .Dum te dunn te Dunn She doesn't hear me. but suddenly she determines to make tn plunge. Inspired be tn Gawd iv Music her hand discinds with incredible swiftnsss an hits tn wrong note! Oh. Hinnessy. did music iver lure ye up tn long an. reg1ar slope " | A chune ye know well an hate worse on'y to thrip ye just at tn exit? ITS like wan iv thim bad dhreams whin ve fall off tn top iv a high buildin' | on'y here 'tis not in bed ye wake up, but In a dentists chair with man prospectin' fir tn nerves iv a tooth that seems to have roots in tn soles iv ye'er | feet,
 "I on'y know afther this that tn | music lesson is goin' on tn way a man that's been shot be tn Indyans knows | he's bein' scalped. At iliven o'clock I tn teacher goes away an me neighoor plays: Waltz me around again, Willie with wan finger, p'raps tn thumb. 1 take a gr-reat inthrest in that young 1 lady I think lot about her future. I hope 1t will not be long befure she marrles a rich young miner firm Sitka, Alaska.
 Well, whfn ye come to think iv 1t tis sthrange that not bein' contint | with tn noises we can make with our own nachral faces. all mankind does be l invintin' instruments out iv wood, iron, leather. an ivory, to scrape. to hit, to ' blow into, to pluk or to nudge with tn l elbow an proJooce iffrent kinds iv
 noise that tn Germans call music. Tn | Germans tell us what is music an what l aint. Wan kind iv noise is music an 1 another kind isn't. I don't know when i to dhraw tn line. It ain't music to file
 saw. but 1t is music to give poor | imitation iv filin' a saw on a fiddle.
 Wan man blows into a flute an I say: | That's a disagree ble noise. No says
 man blows into his coffee an I say: | There's music 'No,' says tn Ger
 man, that's a disagreeable noise.'
 Take tn pianny. Tn all this broad land ye won't hardly find house that 1 doesn't harbor a pianny Rich an poor
 alike they all have thim. Tn same notes that dhrives tn millyonaire firm man willingly to be oppressed. No 1 home is complete without this here 1 large mahogany box filled with scrap | Iron. pianny is tn wan thing that 1 distinguishes tn very poor firm tn l pauper. Ye'd think a rlan was crazy if | he armed two dollars a day an splnt | three hundherd on a bass dhrum, a l slide trombone, a bass fiddle, an yet
 amy wan iv thm makes betther
 sounds an looks prettier thin pianny. l A pianny ain't half as good loolSin' as l a thrunk or foldn' bed. Even a 1 German cuddent build annything home- l Her It's made out iv tn same kind iv wood as a coffin an 1t ain't anything | like as well formed.
 ''Ye see Honorya's pisnny whin twas l brought in. All tn little boys an girls 1 in tn neighborhood watched eight | Dutchmen totin' 1t in on their stom- achs, which, Hinnissy. is a German la l borin' mans substitchoot fir arms. Tn monster carrid away tn dure sashes, | knocked tn top off tn stairpost upset
 tn stove, an kicked great holes in tn | plastbeF. Win 1t was dropped on tn | lure 1t shook down tn bust iv Dan'l l OCOnnell an tn pitchers firm tn wall. | Ye wint into tn parlor that night an
 near jumped out iv ye'er boots whin ye 1 see a grinnin' monsther, blind, with it's | horrid rows iv black an yellow teeth | exposed to ye, an its gr-reat coarse 1 body resttn' on huge bow legs. A l planny in tn twilight looks like wan iv | thim submarine monsthers ye Tread | about in tn pa-apers, relics iv tn old times whin men dhressed be gettin' out | iV bed an kilt each other with stone ! aisily have slime firm tn bottom iv tn |