The Richmond palladium. (Richmond, Ind.) 1906-1907, 1907-02-14
WHAT CURED HIM

Doctor" says he, I'm feeling very
poorly. Should you say. now, tea was
bad for mey''
My dear sir. that depends. Take
plenty of cream with your tea, and il
will do you no great harm
Chivers then looks in on the cele-
brated homeopath. DR.. Dodgem. quite
the rising man on digestion. you know.
Doctor. pray tell me the truth about
tear'
Tear says DodGem. ''The most in
sidious of poisons.''
"What-with plenty of cream?"
with or without. Nothing can make
it wholesome
Chivers took to coffee. As he felt no
better he consulted Katterplasm. NJ
D.. the family doctor. who asked him
cheerily:
Enjoy your food? Sleep sound?"
Neither says poor Chivers.
IF you slept, you'd eat. Do you
drink coffee?''
81 do in preference to tea
AT niSht?'
yes
Just so. It's coffee keeps you awake.
Want of sleep naturally weakens the
stomach"
So he left OF coffee and took cocoa.
Chivers had never smoked. but now
he felt sort of craving that he could
not allay. and. a friend Offering him a
cigarette, he tried it. and 1t seemed to
do him good. but his appetite did not
improve. lie fancied he slept little
better. but he couldn't quite decide. so
he called in DIR. No. 8 and explained
his sad case.
do you smoker" said the great spe-
cialist. whose acute nose had detected
a faint aroma Of tobacco while feeling
his pulse
Eyes. Is it bad?" inquired the in
valid
bad, Are you aware that Sir Ben
jamin Brodie proved that few drops
of the liquid sediment Of the noxious
weed would instantly destroy full
grown cat?''
"But-but." urged Chivers, I'm not
a full grown cat
Give up t"sy,-co!"
Chivers gave II up. But he still felt
very low. H. thought he would ask
old Katterplasm. NJ. d.. the family
practitioner, to dinner and confide to
him his perplexity-no tea, no coffee,
no tobacco, and getting weaker every
day.
"Oh. take a glass of wine! You're
feeling run down. You want flip
Take two glasses once in awhile"
Chivers took two and felt better, but
the next day he received Il pamphlet
issued by the Society For the Total
Abolition of Hops and Wines, which
proved that indulgence in alcohol
tempted the best men to commit crimes
Of violence and hurried thousands into
lunatic asylums.
Then Chivers met a friend who per-
suaded him to become a vegetarian,
after which he declined more rapidly
than ever.
"Come up to Scotland. old man. A
little yachting around the Hebrides-
do you all the good in the world; sea
air. you know"
So Chivers went on board the Sky
lark. She was cutter rugged and only
twenty-five tons. She had not been out
more than two hours when she struck
on a rock. and, as it was evident that
she was fast sinking. they had just
time to haul to the boat that was tow
ed astern and jump in-aIl four OF
them-with a pint Of rum and q bis |
cult.
The weat Their was fairly good. but |
there were six hours of hard rowing be- /
tween them and land. no mistake.
Well. that wreck cured Chivers. Aft |
ter seven hours battling with a strong /
current that set out to sea the ship
wrecked crew grazed the shingle.
Carriages conveyed the crew to Slog-
gers "shapty." as he called his elegant /
highland abode. A splendid cola ton
had been prepared. including fine
Scotch leg Of mutton, boiled with ca
a vegetarian.
Lord. how dry rowing makes one"
he exclaimed. and they filed him up
beaker Of brown ale. Chivers
forgot that he was teetotaler and
drank it off.
As they sat by the log fire Sloggers,
Balson and Batsoh lit up and offered
Chivers cigar. He forgot the doc
tors warning about tobacco and smok-
ed it. Later on they Joined the ladies
IN the little coy wood walled drawing
room looking over the brink OF a preci-
pice right out to sea.
Sloggers' pretty young wife dispens-
I'd the aromatic Souchong in dainty
cups of biscuit china, while her
'prightly younger sister offered cream.
Next day Slogyers said: "Chivers,
ny boy, were old friends. and want
20 do you a good turn. There's moth
ng really the matter with you, or if !.
here wss the shipwreck's cured you.
III you want are fresh air. an active
ife. something to do and eat and drink
what you like. You shall be my high
and agent. steward. overseer-call it
what you will. Try ii for year"
Chiyers grasped Sloggers BIZ the