The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1907-12-21
PRIVATE PHONE.
Nr. Gobang lnstalls One in
35se s His Home.
convenience" Connects Kitoh-
ss en- With Upstairs.

4 s@s&a- 0u WIFI upstairs.
why. Joshua!" cried Mrs. Gobans.
*: &. ;...Fywell?" he snapped.
Joshua laid his package down in the
hall and turned upon his wife-inter-
rogation in his look. fire in his eye.
says the New York Sun.
why, Ioshua!" said Mrs. Gobang in
respectful tones, seeing that she was
dealing with a man who was in no
mood to be trifed with, whatever have
you got there?"
What do you want to know for?"
demanded Joshua. seeking to tame her
z pven further.
But this was too much, and Mrs.
Gobang responded with the moral acer-
bity of a wife who knows that she is
we'll within her rights.
what do want to know for? Be-
cause! That's why!"
20. that's why, is it," grumbled
Joshua.
yes" said Mrs. Gobang, in the
sprixhtly terms Of conjugal rspartee,
"that's why!"
%. that's why, eh?"
Yes, that's why!"
wall, they're telephones. Now do
you know
"Tslsphones?" cried Mrs.. Gobang.
; Telephones?
"Yes. telephones!" cried Joshua.
'sTeiephonss. T-e-l-e-p-h-o-n-e-s.
Hang on a wall, see? B-b-b-bbel
and thing to t-t-t-t-t-talk through
and a d-d-d-dingus to listen through,
se~e" cried Joshua, suffering in his
emotion. Telephones! Telephones!
B-b-bell rings. Hello! Hello! TIT
talk awhile and hang up. See? TIT
telephones! Begin to get the idea?
I T-t-t-tel--''
Joshua said Mrs. Gohang, with
chilling dignity, please try to be a
man and not a fool"
They sat down to dinner in silence
forthwith. and the soup came and
went, and the fish appeared and disap-
peared, and the roast made its bow
and retired. and the vegetables trooped
on and off. but it was not until the
dessert made it's appearance that chill
ing dignity and outraged silence looked
each other in the eye and spoke and
said:
II bought them at sale," said
Joshua, Seven dollars for the two"
"O!" said Mrs. Gobang.
Yes. I'll put one in the kitchen and
one in the front room upstairs. and
when one of us is downstairs and tho
other upstairs we will be able to talk
to each other like Christians without
chelpinE out In the hall at the top of
our lungs for everybody to hear
Accordingly Mr.. Gobang arose and
screwed one Of the instruments to the
kitchen wall and the other to the wall
Of the front room upstairs. even rs he
had said. He connected the wires and
!. the batteries and the thing was done.
Now" said Joshua. you 90 down.
stairs and 11l talk to YOU"
She went downstairs. He rang the
bell assd out she ran to the foot of the
stairs and shouted:
Its all right. Joshua! The bell
raAs!"
'Of course it rang" he shouted back.
But I want to talk to you through
IT,
She went back into the kitchen and
looked at the thing with the true femi-
!. nine dread Of all machinery.
DO you hear me?" shouted John into
she receiver. a.
Y "P1ainl" she promptly shouted back
], through the kitchen door.
r. Joshua SMILED to himself with tho
z hne tender smile of invention.
a Now do you hear ms:' he shouted
y more gently.
1; Yes, joshua" she exclaimed, going
out into the hall
s. Nov do you hear nreT' he asked.
ilstill further modulating his voice.
n We'll. yes" said Mrs. Gobang doubt.
safully. but I have to come halfway up
sssthe stairs"
u u And when Joshua suddenly discov.
sssred that she hadn't been talking
s}lthrougt the instrument at all. ho gave
sSiher a single. pale, ICY look and 1t was
.more than an hour before he would
%;speak to her again on any topic of
conversation, no matter how she tempt
ssed him. His solitary grandeur was SO
appalling that when he finally did con-
u descend to break the silence she ran
asdownstairs and chatted to him over
asthe telephone for good half hour.
~ She. was getting the breakfast next