Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1907-08-15
"6anderbone's" August Forecasts.
.carbondaie Free Press)

though somewhat frail, bats horse
flies with its stubby tail.
{ The little brains that dogs possess
8 Become as sawdust, nothing less,
And and crafty butterfly, unseen
Is making oleomargarine.
August was named for Augustu
Cesar, who reigned in Rome durin!
the dull season, when Julius Caesar
was spending the heated term at hi!
summer villa on Fairbanks Cove
Augustus Caesar was a silly hairpin
and, he made the silly season II
Rome history. Instead of chariot
races in the Coliseum he had race:
between messenger boys with fire
crackers in the seats of their pants
Another of the favorite silly season
sports of Augustus was to have the
gladiators 60 into the arena anC
have pillow fights. To populace
accustomed to the most bloody en-
counters between these big bullies
the spectacle OF seeing them chasing
one another with a bolster full o.
pin-feathers was so utterly ridiculou:
that the booby-match coulden'
handle the crowd.
The summer boarder wakes at dawn
To hear the rooster going on,
To hear the lusty ducks and brakes
And all the fuss the guinea makes.
He hits the bedroom door a whack,
Demands TO have.his money back,
And dons his trousers front behind
The while he speaks his angry mind
The wobbly calf, ingenious thing,
conducts its mother to the spring,
contrives to push her where her bag
will in the cool, clear water sag, and
when her milk is made ice cold, he
calls her out and seizes hold to give
his tummy Paradise the while his
short tail slugs the flies.
The chautauqua puts on more
horse power, and the outdoor lect-
urer has a hemorrhage of bad Eng
lish in the shade of the sheltering
elms. The word chautauqua is
from the Greek letters chau (to),
tauq (talk) and ua (long), meaning
to talk long. The long-named art
ist comes out from the city to paint
a purple COW, and a brindle bull
hits him where it will do the IN os
good, dropping him into distant
briar patch with the nice precision
OF. a golf player. The automobile
comes out on the country road and
has cirThosis of the carbeuretor, in
the throes ofwhich it rids its stomach
of an odd lot of nuts, bolts, screws
and scrap iron. The farmer bitches
span of mules to the thing and
hauls it back to town, and the
mules amuse themselves all the way
in kicking the horn and hearing it
go honk.
The pumpkin vine begins to run
And drags the pumpkin through the sun
Until what had been plump and round
Grows long and slim from covering ground.
The fool young horse before the
load beholds the roadster on the
road and scatters passengers and
freight from breakfast to the barn
yard gate.
This boy whose wisdom has not dawned
Goes swimming in green-scummed pond
And gets, beside parental whack,
Some sort of green rash on his back
Though what he gets from mothers hand
Is lower down, you understand.
Mars will retire to position more
remote from the Earth, and the
Moon will be full on the 23rd,
which will be 23 for the moon. The
scientists who went to the Andes to
view Mars from Natures grandstand
will start home, and they will CON-
pare notes on the ship. Prof. Lon
gazo will claim to have seen one
thing, and Prof. Munsterblitzenbos
sensduzen will insist it was some
thing else. They will pass int
eclipse hammering each other owe
the hay-mows with theirnote books
, Prof. Munsterblitzenhossensduzel
! Twill kick a fine assorted lot of vel
: miceli out of Prof. Longazo.
And then the welcome Fall will come,
And frost will nip the roofless bum.
The paw-paw will come down kasquash,
Il And thicker shirt go.in the wash.
e The farmers wheat will go to town.,
I. The price will spot him and go down,
e And the corn-fed hog, ere long to die,
n Will banquet in the fatal stye-
But let US, even though we s;zz, e:
;, tract from lifew cheer there i
. Let dogs, not men, in consequent
of dog days. feel like 5oc. Septen
Der dear is almost here, and faint
IL falls upon tee ear the sweet, ha
'e monious ku-chug of cider from Il
small brown jug.
" DOMINOCARDS-The ne
game that combines and excels bo
Cards and Dominoes. Local ca
vassers wanted to Introduce in eve
e community. Sample game al
or particulars, postpaid, 5ocis. Do
lINocARps Co., 1917 Chouteau Av,