davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Winning Answer to Question No. s
E. D. DAME, 1911 L Street N. W.

Personally, try used to itut Il all de-
ponds upon the point of
Nothng.-The Government Clerk
Without nothing.-Flossie Feyclothes
All the law allows and then Sport
Cut my dressmaker F street.-The Debtor
Refrain from looking necessary to nav
1.-THE Shop Girl
Relation.
Pay my fat rent-maybe.-The Chorus Girl
Stop moving-The Bad
Let garcon keep the changes-The Short Sport
Buy round occasonally.-The Sponge
Begin read automobile cataIogues-The Pedestrian
Complain of the "Saleslady."-The Shopper
Get private wire.-The Listener
"time."-The Boozer
Play Punger.
Ride home.-The Piker
Abandon systems forever-The strap-Hanger
Have with only seats-Tha End-seat Hog
None Of the things I had planned do--The Dreamer
Show my friends how to speed nsoney.-The Knooler
Own my umbrela-The Borrower.
Show the boss wife how eothesTbe Tns1vst..r
The Washington times., 1907-08-25

ed If it really belonged TO me I
would deposit It in some good. safe bank
where It would draw interest and At the
same time be subject to my check
would then resign my present posi-
tion and take { trip around the world
70 see If It is really round or not. taking
care not to go near Morocco.
returning, I would buy a tract Of land
hear Washington and donate part Of II
70 the city for public park, with one
condition. namely, that there shall be no
keep on the grass" signs put up.
On part Of the land reserved I would
estahlsh free public bath for all the
people all of the time.
On the balance Of the land vVould
enlld some convenient dwellings for rent
= req c0able rental. each one having
yard and garden spot. and rent only
.d-ailies where there were children.
4 there were no children, the tenants
light rent elsewhere, where such a con-
fition is considered desirable by the
andlord. who is afraid of repairs. new
a2er and some paint being needed.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Wanly Taft to Steer.

Roy Turnbull. so4 Indiana avenue
II had a million dollars.
You know what would do !
I'd buy me boat. and go afoat,
And paddle my old canoe.
I'd load Il up with whisky,
With gin. cigars, and beer.
With a Jolly good crew, and a girl Of
two;
And William Taft 10 steer.
And when the gale was fiercest,
And the ship stood on her head,
I'd place Bill Taft on q fimsy raft,
And commence by wireless telegraphy
Immediately II not sooner. to thu
Associated Press. that at last the
cid draft horse Of Ohio was both
politically and socially dead.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Build Houses for Poor.

Wallace J. Hill 2O4 Seventh street
southwest would first expend so, coo
of the 81, 10000 in purchasing some de-
sirahla tract OF suburban property and
building thereon a home suitable to tbs
comfort Of myself and family. For one
to have more IN this respect either n
lands or building than himself and zan-
ily really need. that much mere is use
less and a needless expenditure OF
money, and would. I believe, prove a
burden to the extent in way Of care and
expense.
Second; I would deposit $4,000 OF the
81 ,0O0, 600 In the several savings banks or
in stocks and bonds in some reliable
company, or in Government bonds. Il
they could be obtained.
Third: The balance OF $685. goo would
invest IN inside suburban property and
build thereon five. six and seven room
houses, giving for the use Of each house
as large amount Of land as was possible.
Continued on Page I-this sectIon.1
The Washington times., 1907-08-25

Edward Brown, SOC Eleventh street
northwest would use 1t IN the three
best ways possible:
First. would endow or build orphan
asylums 10 take care Of poor, innocent
children through no fault Of their own,
ana who we're unable to take care OF
themselves.
Second. I would also build homes for
the aged OF both sexes. and see that
they had everything they wanted, and
relieve them of the necessity Of living
with their unfeeling relatives. but w.,o
In their younger days were only too glad
70 curry their favor.
Third. I would aid those who through
TO fault OF their own, had met wit, re-
verses. would give them helping hand,
z word of cheer. and start them again
new
Instead of spending the money on and
for myself, I would have the untold hap
piness of having made others happy. a
delight that cannot be purchased. and a
JOY which in itself is worth much more
than a paltry million.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
ApDATH FEARNoW

A far away look came into the little
girls eyes. her voice ehoked I'D with
sobs and the tears that had gathered
OF her lashes now began to trickle down
her cheeks Suddenly she tossed her
head up and with a look Of confidence
stealing over her face she forced back
the tears and sobs saying.
Why She Hates Whisky.
"An right. I viii tell you why I
would give a million dollars to drive
whisky out Of Washington. You see
sometimes am here IN the house all
By myself on Saturday afternoons and
1t begins to get dark and after awhile
hear the washwoman coming up the
stairs and know by the way she walks
that she has gone and got drunk again.
/ get so scared slip into the closet.
but she comes right on and sometimes
she holloos and screams and then I put
my head down in the clothes and keep
Just as sim as I can. o. I get so
scared
The washwoman getting drunk was
the tragedy OF the iistle girFs life that
she would give one million dollars 20
lave changed.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Establish a Hospital.

Z. Wang. IA Munsey Building
would establish a Free Maternity Hos
pital"
BY a Free Hospital I DO not mean
free TO all. but 70 those who must be
governed by the following rules;
Those who are legally married, who
are ia very moderate circumstances
who cannot pay the exorbitant prices Of
the local hospitals (to say nothing OF
the way they are neglected.; who are
willing 10 be governed by ali the rules
and regulations OF the institution.
Those unfortunates who have no hus-
bands. the most miserable OF all, would
receive attention also after due eonslo-
Grafton by the matron.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Build Children's Asvlum-

Mrs Fannie Cooper. 1912 Fifth
street northwest wotsld FIRST build
an asylum for children that have
no homes would train them to know
the Lord. the rightful owner Of this
world. would teach them 70 use their
hands as well as their heads. I would
advocate the prosecution OF an parents
or guardians OF children that were not
respectful and law-abiding until they
were twelve years old. At the age of
twelve. would deal directly with them
instead OF the parents. regardless OF
race or creed.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
would Help the OperatOrs.

+. w. r., Bureau of Engraving ard
Printing-If I had 100000 today I
would contribute $4,000 of it to the
striking telegraph operators fund to
help them win their battle for justice.
fair play and fair pay, against the
81 COO. O0O,O00 telegraph corporations.
With the other $4,000 would found
q home Cor worn out telegraohers. fer
all OF them. whether union or non
union men, and go there myself 10 live.
Then I could Gle among those old
timers of the key, believing I had done
a real good for humanity.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Fifteen Answers.

Elton Bragg. 500 First street north
west
1-Get such a swelled head that ]
should be forced to wear a barrel for
hat.
2-Faint.
s-Strive to get another.
4-Ruild private asylum for my re-
ception.
5-Refuse TO ray my gas bill.
s-Donate It to the cause OF Carrie Ma
don.
Shake the installment men.
$50 after a Senatorship.
e-Quit work and go on the bum.
10-Get st. Vitus' Dance.
11-Pay employers TO hire union men.
12-Found 5 training school for ball
players and ofTer free scholarships to
the members of the Nationals.
13-offer it for a winning bali team.
I4-Bury Il.
15-Collapse.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
b. W. a & 81 C. RAilwav.

Elizabeth Newell. Fails Church, Va
I would buy out the Washington. Ari-
ington and Falls Church railway.
would run good cars on both branches.
heat the cars better III the winter. and
reduce the rates from Is cents 10 10
cents straight fare. Or IS cents round
trip, and commuters tickets. with
twenty-five rides each. from 81 TO S1-25.
IN this way I would help the people
along the line and make another million
IN about FIVE years
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Little Girls Million
TO Drive Whisky Out;
Sees Drunken Woman
Child of Fig ht Never
Met intoxicated Man.
WasherWoman
Scores Her.

Little Ardath Fearnow, eight years
oid. OF 4S7 Seventh street southwest,
hates whisky so much that II she had
81 10000 she would give 1t all 10 the
Temperance people o. Warrington TO
drive it from the city.
That is what she wrote TO the Sunday
editor OF The Times who had offered
s. to the one sending the best answer to
The question, What would you do II
you had a million doIlars2'' and that is
the statement she made to a Times re-
porter who went down to see her yes
terday morning and find out IL she
hadn't changed her mind and would
prefer Shetland ponies, and dolls that
would talk and walk. and fine dresses.
But, no. Ardath was resolute and the
million dollars she said would 90 10 fight
whisky in Washington.
She is a mere slip OF girl. being hard
J, larger than six-year-old. but she
has the understanding OF a little woman
8nd talks as wisely as Peter Pan about
the never. never. never land.
Never Saw Drunken Man.
But" said The Times man, why do
you hate whisky 50. Don't you live
here very happy with your mother and
father and sisters?"
Yes. sir"
Are there any bar rooms around
here that annoy you?"
NO. sir"
10 you ever see many drunken menu
mo. sir, I never sawNa drunken man
in my life"
Why. how strange then that you
would give ali your imaginary money 70
the temperance people II you live here
happily and have never seen any drunk
en- men"
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Sleep Late in Mornings.

]. II ". Marriott, Hotel Strstford-In-
stead OF buying automobiles. giving IL
braries, and founding orphan asylums,
would get real enjoyment out Of it.
I would take a room at the Waldorf
Astoria and tell the clerk to have me
called at O'Clock, and when the porter
called me. would answer and tell him
that 7 did not have to get Up, and
would roll over and go to sleep again.
To one who never had a million that
would be my idea OF happiness.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Series of AnS4Ders From Ill
Classes of People Shous Intense and
Widespread Personal Interest IN Human
Topics Being Brought to Attention of
Public by The Sunday Tines

lions that win never confront me. and
here IS what 7 think I would do:
To begin with I would set aside SO
000 for my own use. That sized fortune
Is enough TO furnish every man of
simple tastes ~ith everything that can
copdeee 20 his real happiness and his
bodily comfort. Beyond that, IL seems
20 me "alI is vanity.
The other $4,000 I would set aside as
an educational fund 10 be administered
by myself during my lifetime. and by
others after my death. tEis fund 10 fur
nish the means OF educating worthy
young men.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Live Simple Life.

Jessie B. sherbley, the Home Apart
menrs-I would live the simple life ex-
travagantly; l. e. the free. unconven-
tional life OF the gypsy; my wagon, q
touring car; my companions. only those
love; my camping ground, in what
ever cline my fancy draws. To care
not what people say''-those people who
care nothing for me, but wko. IL one
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Establish orinking Fountains.

Mrs. r. Cuttings. s05 F street north
east.-I would establish and keep iced
a drinking fountain Of Potomac water,
by permission Of the authorities. of
course, IN every public park in the Dis
trict of Columbia during the heated
seasons.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25

George Dutrow. i'll would have q
university built and name it after our
great President. Theodore Roosevelt
and Americas future representative OF
the people. the same as he was when
he was IN the White House I am a
Democrat always. but I think that
President Roosevelt has clearly showed
the public that he is more a Democrat
than a Republican.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Shelter the Poor.

Rebecca Kelly. daughter Of the Regi-
ment. 1s1 K street northwest would
buy home to shelter the poor, feed the
hungry, buy flowers for the sick. decor
ate the soldiers graves, and wave the
flag IN their honor. I would also re-
member my kind friends.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Half to Operators.

L. r. Payne, 494 II street SOUTHWEST
would donate half OF It 70 the operators
who are on a strike. and the other half
I would buy Fritz Reuters bar room
on Four-snd-a-half street and Pennsyi-
vania avenue
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Abolish CapitaI Punishment.

A. D. D. S15 V street northeastern
list the best talent possible in tie
United States and push a campaign
against capital punishment.
Establish a moral training school to
Inspire young men and women to high
er, grander. purer. and nobier thoughts
and deeds.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Free Drinking Water.

Lewis B. Cooke. 40 II street north
east-I would supply the residents CT
washington with free drinking water,
in the form OF public fountains. which
the honorable Commissioners have fail
ed to do in the matter Of taking up
pumps. and which your paper has made
such a gallant fikht for.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Would Buv Padded Cell.

Joseph W. Saunders. 1884 Eighth street
northwest
II had a million dollars,
CHE truth might just as well telD
I'd first execute a few hoIlers.
Then buy me a nice padded. cell.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25

James Hayes GAGE twelve years.. 1914
Thlrty-fourth street northwest-The first
thing I would do would be TO purchase
a copy of The Washington Times and
look over the advertisements OF houses
for sale TO see where I could best locate
a pretty house for q present 10 my
parents
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
In the Name Of the Lord.

Edith Carmen, L street, believe
firmly in the following Bible quotation,
Whatsoever thy hand findeth 10 do. do
1t with thy might" With 100000 IN
my possession. I would begin IN my i'm
mediate home and neighborhood and
relieve suffering humanity to the best
OF my ability IN the name Of the Lord.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Would - to BuysTimes.

o. B. whatley. 700 z street southeast
II would try 10 buy a passport to
Heaven by doing all the good I could
for my unfortunate fellowman.
I would try to buy The Times ard
have It published IL four Of the largest
cities IN the United States. North.
South. East. and West, to enable all
the world to enjoy its fresh news after
a day OF care and toll.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25

Is rich and original. say He is 50
clever" but If one be poor. He is I'M
sound"
To scatter dollars and reap smiles
| along paths where both have been rare.
To cultivate every talent and enable
others who have Well-founded ambition
to progress.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Aid Her Grandma.

Ruth Huntington. aged thirteen years.
go Thirteenth street s0utheast-TEe
first thing I would do wculd be TO re-
store my grandmother house to her,
as 1t was sold to help my uncle who
failed in business. Then 7 would help
everybody else who had failed IN busl-
ness.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Home To- Worn Oh women.

NJ H. Brown-I would endow home
for the poor. old worn out woman in
the Government service who have others
depending on them for support and who
get very little encouragement or SYM
pathy from anyone
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
% 10 Light Housekeeninq.

Palmer a. Eliot. 1872 F street north
vrest-I would keep it and try to add
little to it every payday in the hope that
would soon have enough TO get married
and 90 light Housekeeping.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Build New White HOUSE

L Brooks Schneider, 70 Fifteenth
street northwest would contribute my
share towards erecting an Executive man
sion TO compare with the palaces Of for
eign rulers.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
First Class Bathing Beach.

Norman STEM, s2s Ninth street north
west-I would with the greatest OF pleas
urs donate the greater portion for the
construction OF a frst-class, sanitary
bathing beach, TO be cared for by COM
petent men.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Would Be "DOne," He Thinks.

N. N. Bernstein. 1852 Kenyon street
northwest-Before had a chance to get
over my surprise and good luck, wiser
ones than I would edo" me.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Do Charitable Act.

stephen s. Morten, Herndon, Val
would. establish a charitable institution
with il Charity is a habit which every
body should cultivate IF it was not for
charity people would be starving IN some
parts OF the world every day.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Fix Up Telegraph Strike.

r. E. Downy. 40 NJ street southeast
7 would spend part of it TO try and get
Mrs. Sadie Nichols and J. z. Ryan TO
fix It up as mistake, so the wires
could all spread the news.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Give Bal Players Peanuts.

G. J. ~. -9S1 Fourth street--I
would buy a cents worth OF pea
nuts for the washington baseball club
and give the rest to Joe CaHullon TO
buy some more fans Ike the Idaho
wonder.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Get q Winning Team.

Charles Nicholson. 10 Virginia avenue
Southeast u would willingly give
half OF It to build winning baseball
team for washington and let Manager
CantIlon have the use OF it to select
the nlsyers
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Never Had a Copper.

Jennie Farieson (age twelve years).
SO New Hampshire avenue northwest
I hardly know what I would do, as I
have never had a copper that could
call my own.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Automobile Hearse

Argyle Rankin. Prout street, Twining
Clty-I would invent an automobile
hearse. for everybody would Just be
dying to ride in it.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Give CantiIInn 500. 600.

]. II. Monday. Rockville, Md.-rd quit
work I'd give Cantillon 100000 and tell
him to buy the following players: Bend
er. Joss. Walsh. Lajoie, BIZ Bradley,
Chase. Of New York. and Nichols. and
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Drink Himself to Death.

Henry James, 7O4 I street northwest
I would drink myself 10 death within
a year, no doubt. I an willing 20
assume the risk. however.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Washington. Most Beautiful.

L. S. O.. address 40S Twelfth street.
II I. had million I would make Wash
ingtoa the most beautiful city in the
world.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Quit Carpenter Work.

H L Abel. 2232 Seventh street north
west--I would quit the carpenter trade,
get married a second time, give my
four motherless boys a college educa-
ton, and take the world easy.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Give It to His wife.

John n. Manning. 800 Eighth street
northeast-I would give It to my wife
to enjoy herself at the bargain counter
sales on Fridays.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Help Telegraphers.

George sehlotterer, 81 Eleventh street
southeast would go and see Helen
Gould and try and get the teiegraphers
out of their trouble.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Bribe Team to Stop.

lie Roy Phillips. I286 O street north
east would give 1t to the Washing
ton baseball club as a bribe to stop
playing bah.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25

Isnthe Davenport. nine years old. 1893
F street northwest-As charity begins
at home. I would look out for No. !
first OF ALL
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Wants to Get It Fist.

Hal 3. Deane. Deanewood-Get It first,
pay for life subscription TO The Times,
and let you know later what I'd 60 with
the rest
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
What Child Would Do.

Ethel Hardy, the Virginia. age thir-
teen-I would give homes and clothes
and many other little things. I think
would make those in want happy.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
would Probably Buy re.

T. 3. Kelly 5095z E street northeast
What would I do if had $1,000, 900?
Oh 543 7S'''l-&' ca. S*?&-
Yow&' p G.: &s (-ss e. q
Whoopee5s- $50 .0$0 81 0S
Hiss A. I; g. "D:???
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Pennant Wiuning BaI Team.

/. K. Fuse. 1874 Ninth street north
west-I would give the Washington peo-
pie what they deserve most, a pennant-
winning bali team.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Eliminate Garrett ~ coIlins.

Enoch n. Gathright. BsltImcre ave-
nue.. Takoma Park-I would first send
Mayor Garrett and Marshal Collins
abroad, and then buy an automobile.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
BIZ Few Mo-e Plavers.

Keith Han, 300 Pennsylvania avenue
southeast-I would buy Few new play
ers for Joe Cantillon. manager Of the
Washington ball team.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Ioin Graft Club.

Z. W. Cummings. $40 F street north
west--I would buy \ few OF the seeing
Washington automobiles and then join
the graft club.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Buy Good Ball Players.

+ George VI. Cohen. pa First street
nOrthwest-I would give it 10 Mr. Joe
Cantillon, manager Washington base
bail club. and let him buy some good
ball players.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Commissioners. Take Water.

J. Parneil. 12sl w street, would send
the District Commissioners to the Sa-
hsra desert 10 take the water cure.
Open Up the city wellsl
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
wake Up, Get Married.

John Rust. Southern railway would
wake up. get married. and start living.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Keep Streets Clean.

Joy coiweii. go Eighth street north
east-I would give 1t to the District to
Keep the streets clean this winter.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
To Alexandria Police

r B. Scott. 10 North Carolina avenue
southeast-Td donate It to the Alex
andria police force.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25

z. W. Holland, no. The Virginia,
Seventh and Virginia avenue southwest
Il would buy me a hat three sizes
larger than my old one. Swelled head.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Make Home for Children.

Claire NJ. Harris. ~ Maryland ave-
nue. northsast-I would provide a home
for the homeless children and for the
aged poor.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Buy a Home.

Ms. E. McCleary, 2l22 NJ street-If
I had s1.oo0,oOO would buy home and
rot come in contact with real estate
agents.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Would Aid Harry Thaw.

Mrs. I. NJ. Kyle. SO L street south
east-If I had million dollars would
go Harry K. Thaws bond for Evelyn's
sake.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Pension the Team.


J. ". Kicker. 1929 Q street, would
pension the Washington baseball team.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Give It to John D.

J. P. Headley. 81 @ street northwest
I would give 1t to John D. Rockefeller
and apologize for my small contribution.
P. Size would get st. anyway.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Omen Advice Bureau.

L. D. Brandon. Ts Seventh street
northeast-Td open a free advice bu-
reau for the be aent Of the sudden
wealthy.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Educate Himself.

Joseph Parzez jr.. Congress Heights
would educate myself. have q good
time and travel
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Lend It to Iamestown.

east-Lend 1t to the jamestown Expo
sition Company 70 pay their uncle.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Down the Trusts.

Norman Guy, 1908 Thirty-foprth street
northwest would give 1t 70 the Gov
eminent TO help down the trusts.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Munsey Building Fan.

Edward White. SOC Munsey Building
I would buy all the best players in the
country and furnish Washington with a
ball team that would give them a chance
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
DION Dead

Mrs. Dana c. Holland. y Tenth street
southeast-I would drop dead
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Wipe o. Consumntion-

Miss c. NJ Toonb. 1922 Pennsylvania
avenue northwest-wipe out Americas
Great White Plague. consumption.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Live Simple Life.

]. r venring, Indian Ofhce-I would
lead the simple life"
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Would BuY Suspenders.

z. Crockett. Els P street. Flat All
had a million dollars Ia buy a pair Of
suspenders for every pair Of trousers /
] had.
The Washington times., 1907-08-25

Wnbert Drummer. II12 New York ave-
nue.-If had 81 10000 I certainly would
act the part
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
&c Would s'Live.''

Henry L. saur. 700 H street northeast
III I had q million dollars I would
LIVE. until I die
The Washington times., 1907-08-25
Buy an Airship.

Q. c. HInekley, 1901 North Carolina
avenue southeast would buy an air
snip and endeavor 70 bring tia wash
ington baseball team down 70 earth
again.