Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1907-05-23
MAIL ORDER HOUSES
MONTANA RANcHMAN,s LETTER
TO MONKEY. RoRERsRucK
g. COMPANY.

One of the best things that has APP
peared dealing with the eastern mail
order house, is contained in q letter
published in the Helena (Mont.) Re-.
cord and written by ]. B. Monroe, an
old resident of Teton county. Mr..
Munroe is Familiarity known as Slack,
and is an old trapper, cowboy and
scout and is well known in Montana
by the old-timers who heartily endorse
every line of his letter.
The letter is a typical one, and thu
expressions in it will be enjoyed by
every Montanan who reads it, Mr..
Munroe sent a copy of the letter to \
Helena friend, not with the idea that
1t be published, but Just to Illustrate
how he felt he had been done" by the
human parasites who are doing BUSH
ness under alias Of mail order house
A copy Of the letter is as follows:
''Messrs. Monkey, ,Robersbuck&C Co.,
+ Wholesale Jobbers Of Junk Goods,
Munnekago:
Gentlemen: A bundle Of goods
came to my address from your old
pawn shop and they resemble the
goods I ordered about as much, as a
Chinese dope fiend does our Saviour
ssYou issue beautiful catalog, but
a Jew emigrant with his coat tail cut
to ribbons by bayonet thrusts, would
blush if asked to write an INVENTOR
of the goods you deliver. ny. ,s.gss
Il have been up against percentage
stud poker when there were three
tin-horn gamblers standing in with thu,
dealer in the same game. Il have paid
"a dollar pound for -four in the gold
mines in the early days. / have bot
rat tail whiskey III prohibition Can
ada for IS a short quart, and have
given an SO beaver skin for three
.chews Of Climax plug in the far
northwest, but still I did not kick Il
Il have bucked the shell game AMI
n have bet good money that tcould
catch the hole in coiled strap. I
have been held up by road agents, and
once paid a dollar for a three-minute
lunch on the old u. P. R. r..
Il once bot sailed prospect from
an old, benevolent looking, solemn
talking, fatherly prospector and when
i worked out the salt there was not
enough mineral there to take of the
curse of perjury, il you sWore you had
a mineral claim for record. /. have
spent $1,000 rushing the opening Of
No Mans Land, of Indian reserva-
ton, when the 100 acres of land that /
got would not raise trouble; and still
I would smile and have not lifted my
voice in wall. @
IT have traded with tough old pirat-
ical sea captains on the shores of Al
aske, and once took load of valua-
BILE furs to a Hudson Bay post on the
headquarters of Mckenzie river.
have traded with frontier merchants
who would swindle their shadow, and
have traded with plains Indians when
they took away my horses on dark
night and In a few nights after tried
to make the trade over.
In my young and callow days /
tried industriously to beat three-card
monte shark at his own game. have.
bit at most Of the lures set for the
smart youthbut when I sent SIS to-
your old junk shop and expected TO
get my moneys worth or what I
wanted was up against game that
put all my former experiences to
shame. You should be arrested for
attempted blackmail when you send
your gaudy catalog to a. respectable
man There is not coffee-colore
buffalo-hunting, scalp-taking Indian IN
Montana, but is better qualified tosrun
a legitimate mercantile business than
the weakened, soft brained imebcils
who runs your establishment.
Hereafter / shall see what buy
even If it is a gold brick or a green
goods roll. You are mercantile
Kelley cure. Adios, Adios. Forever