Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1907-01-17
SOAP EATING IN THE NAVY
Manner When They Want
to Go Ashore.

whenever you hear of a high per-
centage of sickness among the sailors
of the American navy" said Jack
Montgomery, with a cheerful grin, &C
cording to the New York Sun, don't
get excited about it. Not unless
there's a bunch of deaths resulting.
These epidemics among the Jackies
come pretty regular, but they don't
yield a very heavy percentage of dead
or disabled.
81 had plenty of shore leave every
trip l ever was on and most of the
time IN navy yards, and there was a
lot of others just as lucky. Awful per-
centage of Illness on the ships those
days, and probably is to-day, for one
bunch of jackies will always teach
their deviltries to the next crowd.
That's why l say, never let your
self worry about the men of Uncle
Sans navy, and never let yourself
imagine that the hard work or the ra-
lions is likely to kill off any of 'em,
not even if you hear that two-thirds
of the North Atlantic squadron are
helpless in their hunks and that 80
per cent. of the European squadron
amt expected to live.
You've heard how convicts eat soap
to make them look sick, act sick, and
really be sick, when they want a lay
off from hard labor? Well, I believe
some ex-convict must have told some
sailor the secret, and, of course, the
information spread.
Anyhow, soap eating has become
almost craze on naval SHIPS these
days, and I'll bet a little something
that half the men in the sick bay go
there from eating soap. It's the most
popular method of getting shore leave
that anybody has ever introduced, and
there's been lot of games tried. at
that.
''On board my ship the habit spread
like wildfire. It's the easiest thing in
the world-just chew up bar of soap
no. no, not all at one time-and
you'll be the sickest man that ever
walked. You'll have staring eyes, and
a coated tongue, and agony iii the
stomach, and all kinds of frightful
symptoms.
'The best thing about it is that the
symptoms vary with different men.
They'll all be sick, but their illnesses
won't be enough alike to make tn.
doctor too knowing.
well, after you get properly and
<hor orb xy
sick bay. 1t will be only couple of
days before you will be able to move
around, but you will be so weak, so
pale, and so generally woebegone that
the doctor will always prescribe shore
leave, anywhere from two to six
weeks, and it's away for land, with the
health returning in large, rapid jumps
with every stroke the oar takes on the
way to solid ground.
Nov, as you may suppose, the trick
OF eating soap isn't one to appeal to
an epicure. In fact, there's nothing
in the world that tastes much ranker
than cake of soap, and the more you
eat the worse it tastes.
You can get accustomed to olives,
and get SO they taste good, but never
yet saw anybody who had acquired a
genuine fondness for real honest soap,
no matter whether that soap was red,
white, green Or notified, or pink and
perfumed. Consequently the boys are
driven to all kinds of schemes to
worry the stuff down without being
sick too soon.
1--WE seen them cut the soap in thin
slices. put it between slices of broad
and chew it down that way, with eyes
rolling and chests heaving as the love-
ly old taste hit home. I've seen the
lads put ketchup and mustard all over
the soap, and get it down under this
kind of disguise. Sometimes they
chop it into little cubes and drink it,
two or three cubes in a glass of water
get 1t down fast before it can dis
solve. Oh, fine, fine for the palate
and great for the Digestion!
and that's why you needn't fear
for the health of the American navy
whenever you hear of a mysterious
epidemic Any time there's an cpl
demic the doctors can't quite compre-
bend, take it from me that Uncle
Sans men behind the guns. have de-
voured all the soap in the toilet locker
and that the shore leave colony is go
ing to be largely increased within the
next few days"