davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03
NED BRACE TALKS ABOUT THE REGENT
 ELECTION AND THE FINANCIAL FLURRY

inches. The city government has author ity and should do it.
 Incidentally I have q little pistol at home. for nightly protection. I would be gun
 Now, to revert to the i pt paragraph of these observations
 What is all this financial hullabaloo? :? Every bank. every merchandise he wholesaler or retaier-and every local business concern of whatever character in the Birmingham district, is in good financial condition and stands solidly upon it's own feet and foundation.
 The hot-air brigade-the fellows full of wind and wickedness-are those who would create havoc But they can't do it. Birmingham is on a basis that can not be overturned. The real stun is here It is in the ground. There will always be those who want to get it out and make the profits from the getting.
 Men have come in with illuminated paper capital and talked of what they were going to do. Some have boosted stocks and sold out in Wall street. Some have boomed Birmingham and once upon time busted it." Some have played the game high and gone off with profits. It has been a gold field, in a measure. But every man who has stuck to it-like the shoemaker to the last-has made good for himself and his heirs. There Is not one single exception.
 The trouble right now is that some of the big coal, iron and steel companies of Birmingham are owned elsewhere. They are financed in New York or Pittsburg or somewhere else, and instead of keeping their cash in the banks here they keep it ''there" They have it s'there" now and the banks "there" refuse to ship the real cash to the banks here to pay the New York checks of the "big companies here. The banks here keep a lot of money in New York to draw on for New York exchange. So they are wisely giv- ing small denomination New York ex- change checks for the big pay roll checks of the big companies. These checks are just as good as cash, and will be taken by any merchant or anybody in Bir- mingham or the Birmingham district. They are better than the proposed com missary check, because they arc good for the full face value of the dollar any
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

wherein the Birmingham district or in New York.
 Now, as a matter of fact, some Of the men managing the big iron, coal and steel concerns of the Birmingham district in a large measure have placed them selves individually upon pedestals and are worshipping themselves, as the heather worships the Bhuddist idol. pre- tending to be the backbone and the mak- CTS and the leaders of the Birmingham district. They would take unto them selves the credit of all things. Men have been before them in like capacity with employed worshippers about their shrines; and such same idols have fallen. Some may have gathered in the shekels scat tered before the idol by the faithful worshippers looking for future profit and glory. But, nevertheless, they have fallen and departed.
 No man nor company is the hub nor the need of the Birmingham district. None need attempt to appropriate the credit. It will not be accorded. The real stuff~is here. There is the pre- the coal and the limestone. The plants have been builded to convert all into iron and steel, actual use. If those who are doing now should attempt to do it speculatively there are those who will take their places and do it commercially.
 Not one manufacturing plant in ths Birmingham district which has been con- ducted upon business principles in the past five years has failed to make money and good money.
 Those managers of profitable plants who are getting "cold feet are the men the Birmingham district would like to see draw their salaries to date, sell out, and get out We don't want croalers about. Take your medicine, whatever it be, like men, throw your shoulders back, your head high up; get in the procession, put your shoulder to the wheel, and do your part to the Birmingham that is today and is to be- or pack your baggage and slink out without wasting your time or the natural sleep of others by paying at the moon and disturbing them.
 If you have kick, make 1t, and then get in with the optimistic along with
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03
BEATUS LILLE.

By A. Latady. How happy he who verify believes He on no special mssion here is sent: Who his true insignificanse concelves, And on no world-astoundng scheme is
 bent. Who sees ambitions height an empty Tn ascent to which Is solitary -drear, Removed from humanamity below, Yet to divinity is not more near Who knows there is nor statute nor de-
 cree,
 That he shall be or this, or that, or
 other. Who from vain whining and complaint Is And with decrees of heaven doesn't
 bother. Who sees that honor and respect of
 place.
 Are yet not honors paid unto the man. That adulaton moves with awkard grace Toward him whose faults tis danger
 ous to scan. To him how silent is the cannon-voice In which the great Napoleon voiced
 his claims How little recks the world thc thunder
 VT x tHOlcP, Or cares, or thinks of his ambitious
 aims To him, to lessoning perspective small, The great ones of this earth decrease
 in stature, And Alexanders, Crom wells, Caesars, all Are swallowed in the majesty or
 nature. If great commotions. acts. or argument. Were by great heroes or their servants
 made Iris one; the master and his man are
 blent
 In one fast dlrnming and comminElins
 shade Caesar and yarro now l.
 brought.
 The mind is bent on vacanc, The person of the one who be From that of him who handl
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

counties like Mobile and Cullman. Be this as it may between railroad reg ulation and prohibition there will be no lack of interest in the proceedings at Montgomery.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
From the New York Press.

From the New York Press.
 A mans conscience only troubles him when something else does.
 A safe way not to lose money in in- vestments Is not to have any to lose
 A girl would rather be kissed by stranger than not be able to tell how men try to.
 It's habit of women to think more of their ideals after they are shattered than they did before.
 Chorus girls must be mighty sharp at bargains to be able to buy such ex- pensive jewels on such small salaries.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

From Success Magazine.
 A party of travelling men in a Chicago hotel were one day boosting of the bus mess done by their respective firms, when one of the drummers said:
 No house in the country, am proud to say, has more men and women push ing it's line of goods than mine."
 What do you sell?'' he was asked.
 Baby carriages'' shouted the drum- mer as he fled from the room
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03
Street l.juIlts.

"I appreciate the fact that our city fathers will have their hands full in financing the municipal government in 1905" said citizen, but while they are devising ways and means I hope they will be able to squeeze out d few thousand dollars for additional street lights. The business district is well lighted but many outlying sec tions are in darkness. Every street should be lighted"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

A contemporary suggests that when airships collide they will not butt into anything other than one another. Still, the innocent pedestrian will never know when to dodge bag of sand ballast or tub of dirty dish water from the kitchen of an aerial liner.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03
cheerina Comparison.

Financial conditions" said Col John w. Tomlinson, "are entirely different from those in the troubles of 1885 We have 50 per cent per capita more money in the United States now than then. The output of gold alone last year in the world was more than that of both gold and silver in 1896.
 Besides, there had been then a failure of crops all over the country Tor some years, whereas, the country in recent years, has been blessed with bountiful harvests. So it would be unreasonable to think that we will have to pass through a siege of hard times such as existed in 1893 and several subsequent years
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03
~ LL this financial scare and hulla-
 P1 baloo in the Birmingham dis trict is pluperfect rot.

triet is pluperfect rot.
 It is true we people here have run riot under imported eloquence and paid pyro- technics. inspiring the women and chil- dren. and have gone enthusiastically into prohibition I did my best to prevent it.. I was run over and then backed over. The drubbing given us anti-prohibitionists was the most thorough and complete which could be administered,
 Now, when a fellow is really well whipped he ought to admit it. and help the fellow who whipped him, in moral fight, to reap the full reward of victory. So let us, victors and vanquished, do our best to enforce the law. Don't let us be so timid as we have been about enforcing the concealed weapon law. Let us or ganize now to enforce the laws as they are-not to have either blind tiger nor pistol toter" in Birmingham. If we shall do this we shall have a lawful town.
 Right in this connection, why not let us prevent the pawnbrokers and other concerns from selling pistols Make d law that no pistol less than IA inches in length shall be sold or owned in the com munity. If man carries a pistol that long in his pocket it can be seen by all, and he will be pointed out as pistol toter." To protect his home it is the best weapon. When it shoots it shoots to kill.
 Let us make such law at once and make it jailing offence for the sale, or carrying, or having in bodily possession of any other kind of weapon. If we do crime will be minimzed
 Now what says Mayor Ward and Presi- dent Parker and the aldermen and Chief Wier to this? Each one shall be asked the question for publication and their re- plies printed in The Age-Hera1d. This is a matter of the utmost importance to Bir- mingham. The sale of pistols and the habit of carrying them by large numbers of people in Birmingham has led to mur- ders and killings in the extreme. Count up, if you will, the men who have been shot to death in Birmingham in the past two or three years. Let us stop it.
 Drive out the pistol seller as well as the pistol toter," and confiscate every one in town of a length less than 14
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03
IN HOTEL LOBBIES.
How About Greater Birmingham.

TlOW fNpOQl 0ICaACI
 Tn The Age-Herald of the 3lst ult., appeared an article under the signature of Frank V. Evans, whom I regard as a student of municipal government said Alderman Walter Moore. He dWelt mostly on generalities. however Few men in our city have paid more attention to the question of local government than he-none seem more interested in the sub ject
 But MT. Evans does not delve into the most important subject now con- fronting us, and that is, whether or not under existing conditions we should have 8 Greater Birmingham We must not deceive the people whom we seek to in corporate. We must not promise them school houses, fire departments, sewer age, sidewalks and street paving unless we know we can afford them. We must not tell them that we win assume their bonded debts and add all of these things unless we are able to do so.
 "The question confronting them and us is a serious one, and l insist upon it that deception should not be the rule of the hour
 Suppose we have not as yet settled upon the question as to how the present city proper can maintain it's own credit and it's own government, how can we as- sume more2
 "A Greater Birmingham is an im- mense proposition. It means the best advertisement available for this entire district; but it must mean something more than that. It must mean honesty of purpose and absolute business. It must mean the carrying out of the great proposition suggested years ago: That in 1910 we shall have population of at least 125,000 people within the corporate limits; but the people desire that this thing shall not be done under false colors.
 "Conservatism is the best watchword of the hour. Promises to be fulfilled without power to do so constitute faIsity. The threat of commission rule, unchecked by popular vote will simply make impossible the success of our un- dertaking for a Greater Birmingham -
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03
EXTRAS.
From Puck.

From Puck.
 Ted--Tom says it costs him more to run his auto than he expected.
 Ned-The repairs. I suppose?
 Ted-No; the costumes his wife wears when she goes out in 1t.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

Oklahoma rather overdid the holiday business when she put her banks out of business for five days.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

Broker Love of Chicago, who has just taken his third dip into matri- mony, is no doubt trying to live up to his name.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

A Pittsburg boy won forgiveness from his father by means of souvenir post card That is usually good way to alienate parental affection.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

John D. Rockefeller says the world is growing better. The world looks good to any man who has more money than he can count.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

qhe fusion ticket will show how strongly Hearstism and republicanism are combined. Tammany expects to whip the ill-gotten pair almost with out effort.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

The Statue of Liberty has been painted in honor of it's 21st birthday anniversary. It is now of age and is entitled to an opinion of its own.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

A western cowboy who has decided to take up plumbing shows good eye for business There is no money in being cowboy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

Hartman and Fish may conclude this is not good time to involve big property in private quarrel.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

Let the 10 per cent cut on meats be extended all along the list of food stuffs. It is movement that all con sumers stand ready to welcome.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

The 10 per cent cut in meats has not reached this city. although all stand ready to welcome it. Ask your butcher about it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

King Menelik is putting on lots of airs. There was time when Menelik didn't even put on clothes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

The depositors of the Knickerbocker Trust belong to the "40O," and they came to the run" in automobiles.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

Pittsburg is trying to drown it's panic with the Hartje case, which is running wide open.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03
PRESS POINTS

Portland Telegram: When in trouble wig-wag to Uncle Sam is the latest mot to of the f1nancier.
 Columbia State: Doubtless there are a good many secondhand automobiles for sale in New York now.
 Austin Statesman: There are a good many men in the world who keep their religion locked in a safety vault six days out of the week.
 Washington Herald: The brag habit has even got into the magazines. Here comes Uncle Remus whooping up "corn- bread and dumplins!''
 Nashville American: A Chinese news paper has suspended after struggling along for 996 years. It doubtless sought to become reform paper.
 Louisville Courier-J ournal: A noted pis- catorialist says it is not necessary to be silent while fishing. However, some of our most successful anglers fish with baited breath.
 New Orleans Times-Democrat: An Ohio football team owns a collection of six broken noses, four broken legs, eight dislocated bones and 8 dozen broken fingers. Satisfied that it has broken all previous casualty records, the team has dlsbanded for the season.
 Youngstown Telegram: Andrew Carne- gie voices the sentiment of the over- whelming majority of Americans when he says that President Roosevelt should not be blamed for the exciting week in Wall street.
 Washington Post: "Why," asks the New York Mail, "do women try to speak a paragraph the length of half a column without taking breath?" Possibly be- cause they are afraid some one will in- terrupt them.
 Memphis Commercial-Appeal An indg- nant theatre-goer wants to know why women sitting in box should be al- lowed to wear hats during the perform anee. He can search us The hats this year are as big as boat sails and thei 6 .is no good reason why the boxes in the theatre should be utilized to advertise the new millinery.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

No thoroughly up-to-date town goes day now without an aero club.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

The safety corn razor has made it's appearance. That's going some. The next thing on the programme is a safety knife for Reuben to eat pie with.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

Old Glory is getting ready to take another star on it's field of blue.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

John L. Sullivan is also 49 years old. He and Teddy are humping along side by side as examples of strenuosity.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

Secretary Taft expects the voters to rally to him while he junkets at the governments expense.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

Uncle Joe's boom will not suffer on the score of extreme youth, however much it may be open to attack from non.standpatters
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

The fee system is booked to go in Louisiana, where the movement against it is strong and sweeping.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

Chicago is about to turn 350,000,000 cold storage eggs on the market to be scrambled--for.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

In the next six months IA rear ad- mirals are to be retired under the age limit. Fighting Bob Evans is one Of the lot.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03
MAYOR WARD.

From the Montgomery Times.
 Mayor Ward is very graceful as q po- litical medicine taker.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

Balloons of the sportive sort cost from $500 to $1200, and only the rich feel that they must have them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

Celestial automobilism is the thing nowadays for the idle rich.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

Father Neptune should request Charles w. Morse to return his trident.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

Joes Cannon is too coy to make much progress in presidential cam paign.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

REFUGE. Oh, come away to still retreats, Where the throbbing heart of nature
 beats
 And all the sordid worlds forgot And man and hate and greed are noti Where the cry of the lonely whippoorwill And the silver song of mountain Till Are all the earthly sounds that fill The desert air! Oh, come away from grind and moil, The citys neyer-ending toll, The sorrow and the quick dismay, Where shadows thicken, day by day, And hearts more cold and colder grow, AS the flame of life burns low, burns low, And all the paths we tread but go Unto despair!
 Jan Kubelik will bring Mrs. Jan but the twins will be left behind. Twins, you know, are never aesthetic.
 Col John Temple Graves speaks of plucl<ing cherries from highballs. Wake up, coloneli Cherries don't come in high balls.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

The Washington Herald publishes a grave article on Manila cemeteries.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

The airship drummer is the coming man of the twentieth century.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03
THE MAGIC OF MAIDS.

THE MAGIC OF MAIDS. A kiss it was proposed, I think. By one who was her steady She closed her eyes and pursed her lips And said, I'm ready If all the maids would do like that And yield the boon so sweetly, In this old world still fewer wghts Would walk discreetly. The oldest man I ever saw Much bruised by life's hard boulders- When smiled at by a pretty girl, Threw back his shoulders. Pie is fifteen cents in Boston. The cry of Boston, no doubt, is Thank God for beans,
 There are some queer people in this world, including those who like to live in houston, tex. An enterprising merchant advertises ''bargains in wooden legs' May you never need one!
 POEM
 Be a cub,
 Be a dub
 Anything
 Except a scrub.
  There is said to be hope for the strap hanger. What the straphanger wants is a seat and no fat ladies to step on his toes. !
 A Virginia baby eight months old weighs 110 pounds And it wasn't weighed by the ice man, either,
 BUSINESS OFFICE VERSE. From the New York World Are you tired of living
 In a lonely Room? Then read World Want Boarding" Ads. And you will find right soon Where one may both live and dine At a moderate rate Meet congenial people
 Boarding "up-to-date. An eastern man says he has spent 40 years of his life trying to fly His only hope now of ever flying Is in heaven
 LINES. He loved his little wifc-oh yes His heart was all her own. But stil. the truth we must confess His ma-in-lav was fierce, Finland has gone dry Finland is living under a strict diet. STILL THEY WERE DRESSED.
 Oh my. that butcher
 Man was rude
 Whose ad. said. Turkeys
 In the Nude.'' Close observers on Mars have perhaps noticed q pudgy figure making its way around the world. That is Secretary Taft, looping the loop. Wisconsin girl has been discovered whose range of voice exceeds Pattis Some day her concert prices may do the same.
 The assertion that sfflnities are all .
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

Austin Statesman: There are a good many men in the world who keep their religion locked in safety vault six days out of the week.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

mistake will not diminish their popu-a larity.
 EXACTLY. The jade, Dame Fortune. will not give Her sunny smiles to me. l hold myself forlorn and live In direst poverty. She never fills my hands with gold, She doesn't grant mo fame Sweet luxury and wealth untold, A far embazoned name. And yet, supposing that she should Put laurel on my brow? It wouldn't do me any good A hundred years from now. Armed with the sphysmograph and the ergograph, Dr. Wiley is hot on the trail of soft drink "dope.'
 QUESTION. New Years day will soon be here. So the years revolve. Reformation's drawing near What will you resolve?
 MERELY A SUGGESTION. Laugh, and let the world go rolling onl Laugh, your chance to laugh will soon
 be gone! Laugh, and greet the morning with a
 smile Laugh, for life is but a little while, Isn't 1t easy to be good when you are poor?
 Maudie jumped from open work right into furs
 The situation looks bad for Santa Claus.
 PAUL COOK
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

Columbia State: Doubtless there are a good many secondhand automobiles for sale in New York now.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

Portland Telegram: When fin trouble wig-wag to Uncle Sam is the latest mot to of the f1nancier.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

Washington Herald: The brag habit has even got into the magazines. Here comes Uncle Remus whooping up "corn- bread and dumplin'si"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

Nashville American: A Chinese news paper has suspended after struggling along for 996 years. It doubtless sought to become a reform paper.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03
A PUSHING LINE.

The situation looks bad for Santa Claus
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03

Louisville Courier-Journal: A noted pis- catorialist says it is not necessary to be silent while fishing. However, some of our most successful anglers fish with baited breath.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-11-03
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
AeJ6,rzxs,.

mistake will not diminish their popu-. 1arity.