The Washington times., 1907-01-17

Every one knows that to be sue
cessful hostess. making ones visitors
have a good time and be at ease, is
talent, but / am sure that TO be a sue
cessful guest requires more tact and
art There are painfully few persons
whose departure is regretted from the
houses in which they have been visit
ing. and Il is all because the stranger
within the gate has taxed either the
nerves. resources. poeketbook, or pa.
thence, and. alas, sometimes all OF these
The visitor has not done IL purposely,
OF course, but simply through stupidity
selhshness, or thOughtlessness, Whlcn-
ever the cause il she wishes 70 be popu-
lar among her friends at distance
sh will do well 10 remedy the fault
else they win ask her only at such
times as they must not 10 have III
feeling.
To be a perfect guest l should say
consists in putting ones self thoroughly
In touch with the habits OF the house
hold. conforming 10 the hours and ways
adding 10 the pleasure OF the household
by being agreeable and appreciative. and
al the same time not making one 8 self
too much a member Of the family.
This Is the error that guests who don't
wish ito be a bit OF trouble are likely
10 fan iato, and il is quite as bad as
upsetting the machinery in another way
by not doing ones share There Is de-
cidsdly such a thing as being too in
formal for a guest, going into rooms
where the hostess would prefer one did
not, and by being constantly in evi-
denoe. knowing TOO much of the ways
and means OF managing. Every house
keeper has at least a few reservations
she would like 10 keep as 10 the way
she runs her house. and II a guest In a
most friendly desire Ito help insists
upon always following around during
the morning hours or asking questions.
her hostess must either tell more than
she wishes CT else be rude in refusing
A guest who puts a hostess In such a
position fails utterly in the part az Wis
iting
II one is staying in a home where the
servants are few and the mistress does
some small tasks herself. Il does not at
all follow that a guest is a success as
| such and helpful in insisting upon dust
| ing her own room or making the bed. Tor
example. That a guest does any Work
az all may outrage all the ideas Of hos
/ pitality OF some hostesses. and II this is
| so. 1t Is obviously silly for the visitor 10
offend her friend by making herself
| useful"
Under such circumstances the visitor
would better retire 10 the sitting room
/ with book OF 20 write letters and leave
/ her friend 10 her own way OF doing until
/ things are started for the day. On the
| other hand. some hostesses are quite
/ willing that a guest. especially II the
| visit Is 70 be a long one, shall get quite
/ into the family life by taking up certain
small tasks. and in that case the visitor
| should do what she Is permitted, Offering
| her services simply and frankly. II
| the stranger is taetful and observing
, she may md without asking certain
| small things 10 be done. and then ash
/ If she may do them.
II is because hostesses differ radically
/ in their ideas OF entertaining that II Il
Impossible 10 lay down fixed rules OF
/ what to do when one is visiting on,
can only generalize by saying, watch q
see what is wanted Of you and thei
, try TO do H. You are apt 10 know
whether or not you are successful %
the frequency with which invitations Z
stay n other peoples houses come ia
Punctuality at meals is one Of the re
| qulsites OF being a successful guest. II
houses where the servants are limited
10 two, or even one, hardness IN serv'
ing meals will upset the whole domestic
machinery and make all hard for mis-
tress and maids J. a visitor doesn'
Ike 10 have an early brea kfast, for in
/ stance, and her hostes has the mrs
meal served at 80 the guest must be
Z willing 10 be ready for il OF she should