The Ketchikan miner., 1907-05-18
LOCAL CURIOS

 gave sleeping car porter on n Chicago & Northwestern train a dollar to be sure and tell him when the train reached Chicago; he had heard of the place, and wanted to see it.
 Mrs. Jones, of Skagway, kept the baking powder on the pantry shelf and the rough on rats in the base ment, and how she got them mixed and used the latter for biscuits is what is now puzzling the thinking caps of the mourners.
 1T have seen something, and heard great deal of what the so-call- ed scientists call the faith cure, :" said Ketchikan doctor to Curio, the other day, "but 1 have yet to hear of person who ever succeeded in curing jumping toothache with any such treatment. It would trouble most people to rake up enough faith for that. t.'
 A Juneau man, fond of a practical joke, fixed the big family rocking chair so that it would upset if sub jected to greater weight than loO pounds. On the very first night after wards his daughter got lancerated shoulder, and her young man a skinned nasal protuberance.
 -'My dear," said a Main street man to his wife, ''I saw it estimated in a scientific publication lately that if a man had the relative strength of an ordinary beetle he could lift more than POO, GOO pounds" ''Is that SOP" asked the good wife, as she slyly winked her left optic. ''I'll look for beetle in the morning. "Why, my dear?" "Maybe I can induce him to carry the stove into the wood shed ; I've asked you about dozen times to do it, all to no purpose" Somehow that stove found itself in the shed early the next morning.
 "A man living not over a thousand miles from Ketchikan, who owes this paper and its predecessor over a years subscription, put his copy of last weeks issue back in the post office marked "refused. y Curio has heard and read of many mean men. There was, for instance, the fellow who utilized the wart on the back oi his neck for a collar button, the one who pastured his goat on his grand mothers grave, the one who stole the bungtown copper cents from the deac mans eyes, the one who acquired wealth by giving his half dozer children nickle each for going tC bed without supper and then stealing the nickles after they had gone tc sleep, but for pure unadulteratec meanness the man who will ask anC receive credit for a newspaper sub scription, and then try to evade pay ment by marking the paper ''refus ed" and sticking it back into the postotfice is entitled to the whole bakery.
 -'Loeb," said the president the other morning, II had an awful dream, last night.'' "A dreamy cried the secretary, in unaffected alarm. ''Yes, Loeb,- a dream, { horrible dream, a regular nightmare and I awoke all of tremble. drea med that had been looking over my letter book. and found that 1 hat inadvertently referred to the wrong man as liar, and was wondering what the consequences might be .''
 To young ladies. In buying | hammock for summer outings, it vii be we'll to select one of not less thar 300 pounds capacity.
 Fear not my dearest Archibald, the
 peril now is past,
 At present you may visit me 1T
 peace;
 The stroke of ten need no longer pu
 your soul aghast,
 Or bring our sencae to premature
 decease;
 That vigilance we thought to be eter
 nal has relaxed,
 And jeopardy is therfore in re
 treat
 Pas catapultic energy cannot now bt
 taxed,
 For rheumatism has levied on hi:
 feet.
 So Archibald dear, Archie, come