Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-07-06

to me.-The New York Idea.
Miss Smith has written a problem
novel, hasn't she2" Yes" what is
the problem2" How to make 1t SELL"
Life.
Dramatic Critic during the second
act Some persons are born lucky.
The author of this play died before it
was produced.-Puck.
life is so uncertain" she said. Il
know it," he replied. Lets get mar
ried. One of us may die within a few
years. y Chicago Record-Herald.
Wigs Why do you always regard
him with suspIcionT Waggs-Well,
every time l see him he has a differ
ent overwhelmingly Record.
Teacher Miss Badger, what do you
understand by the privileged classes?"
Coed-rhe botany class. They can 60
out in the woods once in a while.-Chi-
cago Tribune
Suitor-l have the honor to ask for
your daughters dowry. Irate Pal
beg your pardon, sir Suitor-Excuse
me- of course meant your daughters
hand.-Vle Four Rire.
Marie IL james asks you to marry
him tonight, tell him to speak to me-"
And If he doesn't, mamma| Tell
him | want to speak TO him."--Wom-
ans Home Companion.
II see, Katie that New York is to
have one policeman TO every 521 in
habitants," said the lady of the house.
We'll, maam, I've got mine," was
Katte's reply.-Yonkers Statesman.
Newlywed My wife only allows me
three hooks In the closet to hang my
wardrobe on. Oletmer-Don't very.
Before you've been married long one
hook win be enough for all your ward
robe Stray Stories
'Bliggins says that when he went to
school he was one Of the brightest boys
| In his class" Yes" answered the
| sporting man, that's where so many
of us fall down getting out of the
class. w Washington star
Mr. Wholesale My boy. / hope YOU
save something out of your weekly sal
airy of 3d. BoyNes, sir; | save 81
week. Mr.. Wh0lesale-Ahl I knew
| was paying you too much After this
III give you two - Boston Post.
Papa says" remarked the helress,
that you're more fortune hunter"
well, now, my dear" replied the
shrewd fellow, that's more or less true.
Your face Is your fortune. and that's
what attracts me. Philadelphia Rec
ord.
10000 my - exclaimed little Tom
my, hearing church organ for the first
time what's thatT Ssh - whispered
his mother, that's the organ" Good
ness! II must be an awful big monkey
that goes with that" ~ Philadelphia
| Press.
Magistrate Ito prisoner) What, you
here again2 | hadn't seen you lately,
aud hoped you were reformed How Is
| it that YOU have again gone back to
| your old ways2 prisOner-Bccause
am only just out Of prison, sir-Bon
| Vivant.
"Deary me, John, here's another poor
| Teller runncd over by one o these ere
| autymobubbles ~ That amt nothin',
mother. They do say as IN Rooshla
thousands o poor folks nre killed in
the streets along o. this ere autocar-
| cy THE Bystander.
CynIc (savagely) They say the fash
ionablc mother of to-day recognizes her
baby only by looking ut the nurse.
Fashionable Mother (unmoyed How
extraordinarily clever, when one
changes nurgs so oftenl ! always tell
ours by the mail cart-London lid
Bits.
II took out life insurance in order
to put something by for a rainy day"
Yes" answered the cynical citizen
who has been following the life insur-
ance investigation, but you know how
little conscience some people have about
another mans umbrella Washington
Star.
Kind Lady Ito little boy with big
swelling in his cheek Poor little
chap, he has evidently got bad gum
boil. Here are two sous does your
tooth ache badly2 Little Boy (remoy-
Ing the "gumboil")-Oh, no, ma'am; l
was just sucking big piece OF taffy.-
Nos LOsrs
The young widow OF an old husband
Inscribed the following words upon her
dear departed's tomb: ITO the mem
ory of Mathurn Bouquet. who left
this vale of tears at the age of 30
years, II month and 20 days, deeply
grieyed at having to leave behind him
the most charming and faithful Of
wives" Pele Mele.
Where are you off to in such a hur.
ryt' TO the doctor for my husband"
What's up with him" He tells me
he has got hepatltis, dyspepsia, rheu-
matism, enterttis, gastritIs. appendl-
cltis, nephritis aud cerebro-spinal-m
nights" Holy terrors Where did he
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