Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1907-02-09
Shot at Random.

cut OH ieW heads, but that dOps MOI
iS1rest us as much as the fate of the
eight hundred widows
Chicago for some time has been
talking OF widening few of her
streets. 1t isl long time since she
thought of cleaning them.
Prof. Starr of the University Of Chi
cago, says the dress suit is joke.
Perhaps he never had to pay for one.
There's no joke ab99ut that part.
Ina Western piper the other day,
. someone advertised for man with ex-
~ rience around saloon" The ad-
yertiser must be easily satisfied
''The devil is never troubled with a
Car shortage" says the Milwaukee
Sentinel Neither is he troubled with
an ice famine, but his patients are.
''How would it do to coin Gel estial
moonshine?" asks the Nashville Am
erican. Thought it was one Of Ten
nessee's most famous products now.
Prof Starr says the natives OF the
Congo consider 1t TO sin To rob the
whites. They may not consider il
crime, but they will find it hard job.
The Sioux City Journal says one of
the appalling features OF the grip cpl
deInic is the necessity Of spelling
''asafoetida. Spelling it or smelling
it?"
A Los Angeles woman has mania
for carrying her husbands ashes about
in hand bag, During his life she
probably spent much of her time won
dering where he was.''
Congressman Curtis, who was re-
ceAtly elected TO the senate, knows the
first name OF every man in his district
so it is small wonder that he smiled
his way into the senate.
r The truth Of the matter is that en-
tirely too many members of the Ser
ate are spending their time trying to
prevent someone from pulling their
seats out from under them. ,.:.,....'
1t sestimited that 10 0O0 900 women
in the L, s. do their own housework,
while the remainder attend afternoon
teas and talk about the trouble they
are having with their hired girls.
r. l. has only one Senat0r (Aldrich)
just now. but that is really all she is
entitled to, and considering his stan.
gard oil connections, it is doubtful
Whether she has him or he has Rhode
Island.
We are not surprised that the sixty
two year old Bostonian who claims he
never told lie in his life, Is bachel
or, No man with such regard for
truth could ever make good with his
lovemaking.
Now the virtuous can tell his fellow
citizens that he is on record as having
voted against the Congressional salary
raise. and was out of the House when
the miserable steal Of public money
was rushed through.
st. Peter sits at the heavenly gates.
his hands on the strings Of his Tyre,
and he sings low song as lie patient
ly waits for the souls OF those who ex-
pire. He hears in the distance cho-
rus of song that swells from the foot
of the heavenly throne, and he smiles
as the music is waited along and he
MARBLES lay of his own: "Tbere is
room In this region for millions Of
souls. who by sorrow and woe are
bereft, tits for those who have suffered
that the melody rolls. but the kick ers
must turn To thsleft. There is room
for the people VITO, when they were
young, persisted in sowing wild oats,
yet doomed up their town with sinew
and tongu', but the kickers must go
with the goats. There is room for the
people who pointed with pride TO the
beauty and growth Of their town, who
kept singing their praises aloud till
my died. but the kickers will please
an BILE down. They'd say that the
music was all out of tune, and the
angelic gown hand me down, and
they ID send to the moon for jeweler
To sample the gold ia their crown.
So while there is room for million of
souls who by sorrow and woe are be-
reft. we want no complaint Of the
music that rolls. so the kickers must
turn TO the left"
WANTED:-A man in each town to
handle branch Of our business. Men
who can give good references and will
work among farmers preferred. No
investment or deposit required. We
finance the proposition all the way