The Rice belt journal. (Welsh, Calcasieu Parish, La.) 1900-19??, 1907-10-18

Brokaws death Capt Ijams was in
, yited to put in all his time with tn,
aged Widower and take up stOry-tell
ing as a steady job.
He Was Made Official "story Teller
So Capt. Ijams accepted the posi-
ton OF grand vizier and raconteur-in
chief to HarOun Brokaw. No SALARY
was mentioned in connection with the
Office, but ljams figured that so Ions
as he could make the old gentleman
laugh he would have little trouble tc
induce him to loosen up financially
Moreover, it was a safe gamble that
his stock Of stories would last longer
than the venerable listener, and then
the latter would more than square
things in his will
lJams started in Systematically with
his choice line of Chauncey NJ. De.
peW's favorites, then went on with his
early Illinois legends and personal
recollections of Abraham Lincoln, and
finally brought up in the comparative
ly modern period of the civil war. BY
this time he would have. Mr. Brokaw
going so that he could read a chapter
or two from the Bible, and the dear
old man would chuckle delightedly
over:
Abraham begat Isaac, and Isaac
begat Jacob, and Jacob begat Judas
and his brethren; and Judas begat
Phares and cara of Thamar; and
Phares begat Esrom, and Esrom be-
gat Aram, and Aram begat Aminadab"
and so on.
The great stream of the antiques
was this quotation from a Latin
writer of the first century of the
| Christian era: "A man who fired
rock at dog and hit his mother-in-
law said, Not such a bad shot at
that"
Here is specimen from early iii.
nois:
Jake Spawr was one of the three
commissioners appointed to lay out
the turnpike road between Chicago
and Springfield. The act REQUIRED that
these commissioners should be sworn.
but there was no official handy to per-
form this duty. So Jake, as a Justice
OF the peace, administered the oath to
the other two commissioners. and then
raised up the lid of a shoe-box with
looking-glass inside it, and solemply
administered the oath to his reflection
in the mirror, thus swearing himself
in, so that he could legally help to con-
struct the pike"
This Lincoln story was one that old
man Brokaw pronounced "a Bird"
Lincoln and Douglas were travel
ing together by stage-coach from La
con to Pontiac, when they got into a
heated persnal debate, and Lincoln
more than limited that there was liar
in their party of two, and that it
wasn't himself. This meant fight. At
the next stopping place the fiery
Douglas pulled pair Of pistols out of
his carpetbag and proposed to Abe
that they arbitrate their differences
with cold lead. Lincoln drew himself
up and said: I am about twice your
height, and would be too easy a mark
for you. To make things even, you'll
have to stand further away from me
than | do from you Douglas began to
see the joke and replied: mo; I'll tell
you what We'll do. I'll mark out my
size on your person, and every shot |
that hits outside the mark won't count
Then they had drink together and
called the fight off"
Another warm baby was this waif |
from the battlefield:
"An Irish corporal was carving a
wounded comrade to the rear and did
not notice when a cannon-ball whizzed
by and took the poor fellows head |
OF. When Pat reached the ambu-
lance with his burden the surgeon
asked: What are you bringing in
that headless corpse for?' The Irish.
man turned and looked at the remains
and exclaimed disgustedly: Begob, |
he tould me it was his leg!'"
And 1jams could at any moment
throw the aged plowmaker into con.
vulsions of laughter by repeating Josh
Billings recipe for making hoe-cake:
Take common or garden hoe, boil
her down till she jells and then let her
cake"
Day afteA day and week after week
Capt. lJams continued Keeling off these
stories, quips and cranks. The old
grew feebler, but kept
alive just to laugh. Since then Iiams
has suspected that Mr.. Brokaw was
laughing at something else besides
his jokes. But for two or three years
everything went suerrily as marriage
bell.
Speaking of marriage bells recalls
the fact that old man Brokaw was de.
Cidedly of a re-marryiny disnoeit;on