The Cairo bulletin., 1907-12-12
the SPlNSTER AND
THE BACHELOR
AN ARGUMENT OVER THE
ETERNAL FEMININE


anly, serene ana calm, mlnisterine
angels. and all the rest OF it, but you
aren't--you are just incomprehensible
4 women. You say mo- when you mean
j yes; you can't count except on youl
/ fingers. you speak Of everything you
possess from a paper Of pins to box
| of bonds as your things, and you
always sit on the floor To put on your
shoes and stockings Deny 1t II you
| can"
Il deny nothing" answered the
I Splnster. ''lf did I should be deny
my sex II we were not incomprehen-
sible, and bundles of contradiction, as
you call us; II we were plain and
straight and uneventful as road
without turning. you-all of you
would find nothing in us TO speculate
about, You can lose yourself In a
maze. you can't get lost on a straight
road
Also you use old when you want
to say DAMN" went on the Bachelor
imperturbabIy, as though he had not
been interrupted. Horrid old thing
she's copied my spring hatl' How
often I've heard that remark bubble
from angelic lips in a fury OF rage
And This old dress is d sight and 4
never did like that old rug, anyway,
Why don't you come out and say what
you really mean?"
Because we never really mean II"
said the Spinster, wisely mo woman
ever really means damn. Ola ex-
presses much more TO her because
women have such a contempt for most
old things. Besides, what's the use
of getting into white heat over in
animate things as men do? I've lost
my collar button scores of times, had
1t roll under bureau and chairs and
oouches, and had to plump down on
all fours and crawl around after it,
but it has never yet made me swear
and kick the furniture about
u loye a man who loses his tenn
per on occasions. and have a con.
tempt for man who doesn't. Bni
surely a lost collar button isn't an oc-
caslon.
Once | remember bicycling along
a very dark road with two men. We
were riding Indian file because only
one Of us had lantern. We were
going at clipping pace and sudden
ly, without warning, we smashed
into a tollgate pole which the keeper
had let down and forgotten to put
light on, II was a terrific crash One
OF the wheels was completely demol-
iaheh, and we were all more or less
bruised Az we picked ourselves VI
from the debris | looked from one
man to another Besides an anxiety
10 know II ! was hurt there wasn't q
sound, and presently exploded
Won't somebody swear?' said fu-
fiously."
Did they?" asked the Bachelor.
smiling.
They did not" answered the Spin.
ster. Yet they We're just the men
who would have turned the air blue
over a lost collar button. Incompre-
hensible woman, indeed Il is man
who is the incomprehensible creature.
"All women are alike At least you
can count on the unexpected from
them. But men are entirely different. |
When you expect a man to be furious |
ly angry you look up and catch him |
hiding smile You look for the |
smile, and he is swearing, with Che /
veins standing out on his forehead.
lie may not add on his fingers. he may |
say yes when he means yes, but you |
cannot count on his moods and tenn.
pers for five consecutive minutes
That Is because man Is usually |
a law unto himself" answered the
Bachelor, loftily.
And women are not?" qleried the
Spinster with the air OF one who
wished TO learn.
And women are not" repeated the
Bachelor, imperturbably. You see.
women are excessively gelf-conscious. |
They 1re always wond s what other
wclen woud do ~ like circum
stances Taey are rarely willing to
establish presidents or even TO follow
heir own inclinations in conventional
matters. and almost every thing is a
matter to woman.
Now. you see. you thought those
men should swear because you con
;idered that, conventionally. II was
he correct thing to do You never
stopped TO argue with yourself that
t would have been rather blsckguard
y for them to string out oaths IN
four presence. no matter how many
we're churned up In their minds /
hink 1t not only showed a very prop
II respect for you, but remarkably
,ood self-control."
Nonsense" said the Spinster. sharp
y. 1T was one time when / would
have overlooked the loss Of
Besides. you are only
Fearing out the truth OF my own ideas
hat you never can count on what
| man is going 10 do in any given
circumstance. Do you know you are
! very trying person to argue WITH"
Am II" said the Bachelor. bright.
ming perceptibly. May come in
or ten seconds"
The Spinster puzzled her eyebrows.
/ cant see what encouragement You