Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1907-01-27

They'd make thin ten thousand IL they had
their way an mark thim 'F'r men on'y
But annyhow tn ladies' comfy whit down
an dhriven tn Demon Rum firm tn
RESTRAINT into a lair in tn comfy room A
Congressman came out, coughin behind MS
hand, an put his handkerchief into tn
northwest corner iv his coat. Ladies' says
he, what can I do FIR ye?' he says. Ye
must save tn ARMY firm tn malt that
biteth like wasp an stingeth IKE "A; an
ladies'. says tn Congressman with slight
hiccup. I will do as We desire. A sojer
that will drink beer is q disgrace to IN
American jag he says We abolished pub
done 1t to make tn Sinitors unhappy but
thin hardened tools Nv predatory wealth
have ordered ink wells made in tn shape
iv decanters. But he says. tn popular
branch iv tn Naytional legislature is not
to be outdone Ye see these panels on tn
wall? 1 touch button an out pops bot
tie Nv Bourbon that wud make ye'er eyes
dance. WhOOp-ee!
80 Congress passed bill abolishin tn
canteen. An it's all right now. If sojer
wants to desthroy himsilf he has to walk
block. Some Nv me enterprisin' colleagues
in tn business have opened places con-
venient to tn fort where tn bold sons Nv
Mars instead iv tn corroding beer can get
anything firm sulphuric acid to knockout
dhrops. 1 see wan Nv thin stockin' up at
a wholesale dhrug store last week. If the
sojers escape tn knockout dhrops they
come downtown an Doherty takes care ~
thin. A sojer gets thirteen dollars
month, we'll say. Twelve dollars he can
devote to dhrink an wan dollar to tn fine
Twelve times eight hundred an twelve
times that-well it's no small item In tn
coorse Nv year. Whin tn Bnivolent AS.
socyation Nv Saloonkeepers holds its next
meeting I'm goin to propose to sind diily-
gates to tn Young Ladies' Christyan Tim
prance Union. 1t ought to be what tn
unions call an affilyated organization"
said HenneSSy 'theV
think they're dom what's right
"An' they ar-re." said Mr. Dooley. Yell
not find me defindin' tn sellin' iv dhrink to
amy man anywhere. There's no wan
that's as much iv timprance man as
man that's been in my business FIR year.
I'd give up all tn fun I get out Nv drink
In man to escape tn throuble I have firm
dhrunkards. Drinks a poison. don't
deny it. I'll admit I'm no betther thin an
ordhinry doctor. Both iv us gives We
something that cures We iv tn idee that
tn pain in ye'er chest is pnoomony ~ IN
lungs. If it really is pnoomony We go of
somewhere an lie down an ayether we
cure ye'ersilf iv pnoomony Or tn pnoo-
mony cures we Nv life. Drink niver made
man think he was betther. A little Nv it
lifts ye out Nv tn mud where chance has
thrown We; little more makes We think tn
stains on ye'er coat ar-re eppylets; a little
more dhrops We back into tn mud again.
It's a frind to thin that ARE cold to 1t
an an inimy to those that love it most 1t
welcomes thin in an thrips thin as they
go out. tell We it's threacherous dhrug
an it oughtn't to be given to ivry man. To
get a dhrunk a man ought first to be ex-
amined be his parish priest to see
whether he needs it an how it's goin' to
affect him. FIR wan man he'd write on TIL
prescription 'Ad lib,' as Dock O'Leary does
whin he ordhers a mustard plasther fr
me; f'r another he'd write: Three times a
day. at meals But most people he wud-
dent prescribe it FIR at all. r..
do 1 blame tn ladies? Faith, do not. |
Ye needn't think I'm proud iv me business.
on'y took to it because am too janial to