The Cairo bulletin., 1907-11-25

VISIT recently from = man name0
Buddy Mr.. Buddy entered the OiIlce3
upon crutches. and his face was COW
cred with COMMISSIONS, 30 that he look
ed as II he had emerged from : terrific l
conflict with an antagonist who had
won complete victory Placing Nc
crutches against the table and seating /
himself very carefullyih the chair My.
| Buddy said
| Mr.. Simms, JUS dropped IN To ~
| you to git little advice on 4 point
~ law In which I'm interested. and 4
I'd be much obleAged 81 you'd tell ine
exactly what my rights IN the matter
are. III put IT in this way: S'pose'n
rou we're to marry widder, under the
| dea that she was an angel--that She
! was so sweet that barrel Of sugar I
vas mere bitterness alongside Of her; \
md spose'n after YOU were consoii-
| lated with her you we're To ind ont
! hat she had temper like she Wild
AT, and an unconquerable custom OF
hanging you over the head with skill
cts or most anything that came handy,
10 that you didn't know what minute
she'd git her mad up and skeer YOU
pretty near to death.
Now. s'pose'n this widder and you
was to disagree about d little matter
II chewing terbacker In the house and
.rying TO spit in the stove, and she
was to up and tell youth your own
mousse, mind you---that X you KEEP aim
,ng at that stove and missing It she'd
warm you up with a bro0m.landlo or
The like; and you were to say that
you'd chew where you'd mind To.
and that while 1t was free country,
Fou'd hit the stove or miss 1t jus as
gou pleased
And s'posen one word brought on
another, until she got on terrific
rampage, and come at yon and tried
TO snatch out your hair; while YOU
grabbed her BY the wrists and held her
so she couldn't. And then s'poBen
while you were rassiing with her you
was to get the best Of 1t SOS She
condnt do ANYTHING but have tile
Mysteries and scream. and you all the
ttiHp hIFdiu ~ iSt ~ iEsh cttS v hHstAT
You out through the winder.
Now. s'pose'n that wilder had
dog which belonged to her first hus
band, and would rather bite you than
not, and all OF sudden she was 70
hoIer for that dog. and he was ~
come bouncing into the room, and, see-
ing the widder's situation. was TO take
hold OF mouthfui OF your right leg
and shake IL al though he was going
to bite II loose before he left. and the
widder all the time sticking him on aud
encouraging him to help himself with
out any regard Tor your feelings And
s'uosen when you let 20 Of her To
taekle the dog she should hang sou
with the scrubbing brush until you
looked's II you'd been ground up In n
bark-mill. and then wouldn't call on
the dog until you hollered enough.
aS'pose'n all this, what want to
know Is, cant you sue that wilder for
assault and battery, and get an In
junction ON that dog That's what |
came to see you about whether you've
got to stand having your leg chewed
and your head smashed with scrub
bling brush, or whether this great and
free governments going to protect its
defenseless citizens, want to know
how 1t is"
Mr. Simms looked very solemn for
moment, as II contemplating the
problem carefully. and then he said;
Il don't really see that the law can
do anything In such case. Mr. Buddy.
II the man married the widow he be.
came part owner of the dog, and II
was, therefore, in fact his own dog
that assaulted him. Besides that. as
a man and his wife are one flesh, the
widow has a partnership interest In
the mans leg. and when she set the
dog upon Il she was really encourag.
ing the animal to mutilate her own
No action can be against
person who induces her own dog 10 bite
her own leg. nor will the law give her
redress If she batters her own head
with her own hands. for the wife who
strikes her husband really strikes her
self.
you don't mean to say" exclaimed
Mr. Buddy. in a blaze of indignation.
that is the law OF this land. Of this
very country where our forefathers
bled for liberty You don't actually
mean 10 tell me that red.headed
wilder, with a liver-colored dog. can
actually make that dog gnaw mans
leg into sausage-meat while she
him with club, and that he
can't chuck her into jail for Il. that
he's got to stand up and take it,"
I'm afraid he has" said Simms.
with a sad smile.
Well. then" said Buddy, rising and
seizing his clutches. that Just let's
me out as far as this idiotic land is
I'm going to cult n Wild
iers are 10 he allowed 20 carry on as
II men had no rights. IN emigrste and
hunt NJ some country where eniishteu-
a civilization don't allow rid6ers 20
i've fets see. rs India tart n.
rhere they ksll the utdder when her
irst husband diess Well. that's uhsrs
-. rcsae FT.r- ensnr ~ The frsf hr>ak