The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1907-07-12
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els he out of dangerT mo. The
doctor still attends him."-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
would you get married If you were
meY "I don't believe / could-if
were ou."-Houston Post.
Wise-Now, he's got what I call
'.horse sense" Ascum-How, for In
stance? wlse-He never gets on ona
Philadelphia Press
He-I always have my evening din
ners served a la carte. She-From one
of those night lunch wagons. suppose
Chicago Daily News.
mabel accepts more rings from men
than any girl know" II don't under
stand" "She's telephone operator"
Milwaukee Sentinel.
do you see any great future for
PanamaY Certainly. Look at the
great excursion resort 1t has already
become. Washing Star.
whyte-So you went to that special
list for your rheumatism. Did he give
you relief? Browne-He relieved me
of ten dollars.-Somerville Journal.
Il admires man." said Uncle Eben
"dat keeps hopin' fob de best But
doesn't like to see him sit down n cal
it days work. ."-Washington Star.
"Do you consider a chauffeur worth
two hundred dollars month"; well
the last one | had ran away with my
wife, and you knew my wife, old man.
Life.
A woman In northern Missouri hal
sued an editor because, In writing TIT
obituary of her husband, he stated HI
has gone to happier home."-Kansa'
City Post.
Patience-Don't you admire he
hair? Patrice-Indeed, do! l al
ways admired 1t. In fact, came nea
buying 1t before she did.-Yonker
Statesman.
st. Peter-What makes you so busy
Recording Angel-Ta Taking the names
New Workers who are still insisting
that they have no taxable property
Harper's Bazaar.
Hyker-You don't seem to be worry
ing any about your failure In business
Pyker-Oh, no; that's one Of the thing
| have turned over to my creditors
Chicago Daily News.
Myer-There goes the widow Naggs
They say she drove her husband to Al
J untlmely grave. Gyer-Well, that ism
so bad. She might have made hir
walk there.-Chicago Daily News
Mr.. 'Iggs-Is your program full W
Miss 'Awkins? Miss 'Awkins (under
slight misapprehension) Not much
, amt. I've 'ad nothin' to eat since Nv
, been ere. What times supper?-Picl
Me-Up.
. He-Oh, please, Mile. Jeanne, do nc
, call me Mr.. Durand. She (coyly)-Oi
but our acquaintance is SO short. VIII
should 1 not call you that? "Wel
chiefly because my name Is Dupont
Nos Loisirs.
. Benedick-That luminous paint is
splendid invention. Singleton-Whs
do you use it for? Benedick-We pair
the baby's face so we can give him
drink in the night without lighting th
,, gas-Chicago Chronicle.
!, He (after the refusal)-Had bee
, rich, perhaps your answer would hav
been quite different She-Perhap
\ He-But poverty is no crime. She
Oh, yes, it is-and the punishment
: hard labor.-IIlustrated Bits.
"My daughter is positively delighte
, with her new piano." said Mrs Nel
dore "she's quite familiar, you know
with all the classic composers--
"FamillarT' exclaimed Mrs. Pepper.
: why she's positively fiippant. Phil
adelphia Press.
The Gentleman Farmer (anxiously
: What In the world, Uncle Totterl
do you suppose is the matter with n
hens? Why, this morning | found q
of them lying on their backs, cold al
stiff, with their feet sticking up in Il
:, air. The Ancient Man latter sui
K able season of cogltation) Yer hens
q aood Az Cffkflv v-pfoL