The Birmingham age-herald., 1907-09-29
'.C-c.0.C.o.o.S3.c co. Q Tale of Red Saun-
 der'S BOyhOOd


III my mlnu now, ana on Wndl person, could best apply these teachings, an other thought occurred to me-
 " Mother! 1 whispers, pulling her sleeve.
 'ssshr says she what is it, WHIP
 You never could have done that says.
 Sine squeezed my hand and whispered back. You're right, Will with an ap- proving smile
 No. says I. still full of my discovery. You'd have pounded your thumb.
 Her face went ten different ways and then she snorted right out. It was I scandal II took her so by surprise she couldn't get the best of it. so we two had to leave the church. When we got outside she sat down and laughed for five minutes.
 "1 think my father was melancholy mad. Lord! Lord! What mate for my mother! That tall proud, beautiful wom- ar, who stepped as if she owned the world and loved it! God. boy, all the tragedies an't played with a gun. Well. let's cut the old sore spots. Anyhow, Mi.i Mary Ann used to wave all four limos and holler every time she thought of father.
 "One day she stopped her milk wagon and came into tine yard one finger point ed at father like a musket her jaws set and her old eyebrows drawn down over her old eyes till nothin but black fire showed.
 " Adele De La Tourr says she what made you marry that man-what made you marry him, heh heh? Don't you answer mel l knew your mother before you. You listen. What made you marry him? He aint got blood in his veins, at all he turns decent vittels into vine gar. Hah. His mothers milk curddled in his stommick,
 ''5ne bumped up her back and shook both fists. He orter married mel she says, I'd a fixed him! He'd orter mar ried mel She billed over entirely and gal lored for the gate. I'd wiring his cussed neck if l stayed a minute longer. she hollers. When sne got in the wagon she snorted and mumbled and growled. Orter married mel. she whoops, shakn' her whip; I'd give him all the hell he neededl Pah. Pish. Yahl-Git out O this, Jacky hoss, before you take to singin hymns!' Now, that was Miss McCracken, given to speal<in' her mind fully and frankly, as you sec
 "Howsomever, l was walkn' home with Miss Kitty one Sunday, her carryin' her gay parasol and truck as was my GUS tom, for mother always told me to be nice to Miss Hitty. l was cheering her up the best I could. when To and behold! who should we see bearin' down the street all sails set and every gun loaded, but Miss Mary Ann MeCracken, The first bla,t she give us was:
 Ha, Mehitabell Gallvantin' around with the boys, now that the mems give oat. hey?'
 Poor little Miss Htty was hummexed fool-hardy. She stuttered out some kind of answer, instead of breakin' for home.
 " Oh, my my! my!' says Mary Ann, not paying the least attention to Miss Hitty's remarks. My says she, you'd ought to shuck them clothes. What you wastin your time on boys fur? You was always hombly, Hitty; yes, but you're clean-Ill say that for you, you're clean. You stand some chance yet. You get married and shuck them clothes--but shuck them clothes anyhow
 You could have heard her to Willets mountain. And away .-e flew.
 Miss Hitty cried all the way home. l did my best to comfort her, but Mary Ann jabbed deep She was child entirely when we reached her front door, and she turned to me just like a child.
 Must 1 wear different clothes, WHIP she says
 Not a darn bit says I. Not for all the jealous, pop-eyed old Jezebels in ten townships
 She stood a moment relieved, but still doubtful I don't know but what l should she said. Then I got in the argu- ment that went every time, on every question. in those parts. Why, Miss HIt- ty! she says, stamping her foot, I won't I wontr and she swept into the house real spirited, like a high-strung mouse
 So it come I was Miss Hitty's cham pion.
 Some little 'son-of-a-gun happened to see Miss Hitty kiss me, and, of course, l heard from it. All the gay wags in town took a fly out of me. Even old Eli, the tin peddler, led me mysteriously to one side and whispered he believed in helping young felers. so when l was getting my outfit-and he winked-why he'd make a big reduction in tinware, l stood most of the gaffing pretty well, although I couldn't stop at any place without add ing to the collection of rural jokes, but at last one man stepped over the line that separates a red head from war
 "There was always crowd of hungry loafers around the tavern. city loafer aint like a country loafer The city loaf CT is blackguard that ain't got point in his favor. except that he's different from the country loafer.
 "One day l had to go by the tavern and l see Mick Murphy sitting tilted back in his chair, his hat over his eyes, thumbs in suspenders. big neck busting his shirt open, his big legs busting through the pants legs, his big feet busting through the ends of his curved up shoes and weeks growth of pig bristles busting out of his red face. Mick was the bold bully of the rougher crowd-felers from 20 to 25 He worked till he got money enough to buy whisky. then he got drunk and licked somebody.
 ''The course of such lads is pretty reg ular Mick was at that time about year from robbing hen roosts. Next to hen roosts comes holding up the lone farmer. Then the gang gets brash entirely, two or three are killed, and the rest land in the pen It's too bad. This Mick was not a bad soul at all His bunch spoiled him. You wouldn't believe hardly what kiddish minds these ignorant, huking brutes have sometimes, nor how, some times, they come to the front, big, bigger m l lifesize. If l was a painter l wouldn't waste a minute putting down