Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1907-02-02

said friend. NO" replied the judge;
but I've tried lot of people who
have. '--Yonkers Statesman.
He-She married q worthless noble
man. She How did that happen?
lie--Desp0ndency. She was Tilted by
/ her fathers cOachman--Puck.
Sir" exclaimed the pompous in
dividual Il am a self-made man." IL
accept your apology" murmured he OF
fhe patrician conference.-the
phIa Record.
Gnest (studying bill OF fare)-WaIt-
er, have fifty hellers Glen cents)
tell me what you recommend. Waiter
Try another Observation-Disclosures
Carlcaturen.
Mary hear that the dukes mar
rlage 10 the rich Miss rassay has been
postponed Jane--Yes, | believe his
creditors have granted him little
more time.-Life.
Tom (proudly) Miss Plnkleigh has
promised 10 he my wife. Jack (con-
solingly oh, don't let that worry you.
ises.-Chicago Daily News.
lie (bashfully) May I--er-klss
your hand, Miss Dolly? She oh, |
suppose so. But ii would be so much
easier for me to remove my veil than
my glove--Chlcago Daily News.
PoIIy-Did You have n good time.
Dolly? Dolly Did have a good time!
Well, / should say | did. | got en-
gagged seventeen times, and one of them
is permanent Someryille Journal,
80 your servant girl has left you
again. said Mrs, Nabor. Yes" re-
piled Mrs, Sububs. what was the
matter?" "She didn't like the way
did the work. Philadelphia Press
Bacon The police are very consid-
crate Of poor. homeless tramp in
New York Egbcrt How so? Bacon
Why, when one goes to sleep on
park bench the policeman raps him up.
Evening Mail
Here's something about the Dutch
stealing one of the Philippine Islands.
| wonder what Uncle sam viii do
about IT." We'll, 1t would serve them
right IL he refused to take it back
Cleveland Plain Dealer
Agent This Is the automobile you
want You never have 10 crawl under
It to fix II. Sparker-You don't?
Agent No. II the slightest thing goes
wrong with the mechanism, It instant
~ turns bottom side up.-Puck
De Mutt don't think l shall ever
take part In amateur thentrlcals again.
/ always feel rs though l were making
fool of myself Miss Hltts-Oh,
everybody knows II would be impossible
for you to do that.--Chlcago Daily
News
Flo (chattlng with small strangely
Your teacher Is charming young
lady suppose you love her very
much? Billy Steady, steady! ID you
think / am going to tell you all about
my love affairs?-Ally Slopers Half
Holiday.
Bess- i don't like that Mr.. Cutting.
Jess-That's unklnd ef you. l heard
him shy something awfuly sweet about
you yesterday. Bess oh, did he?
What was it? LESLIE said he mag
incd you must have been perfectly
charming AS girl. Cleveland Leader.
"'Wcu, he's good man, an I'm
with him, said Mr.. lIenncssey. Don't
ye think he's right whIn he wants to
put limit ON how much money
man can haveY i do, said MIR, Dooley.
but I'd rather put limit on how
little he can have. '"~-Dooleys Disser-
tations.
II had such beautiful dream last
night" said Mrs. Gettinrich. II dream
ed Thar | had did aud gone to heay
on" And was It anything Ike the
poets and painters have pictured IT,
Not bit 1t was just like New York.
with endless rows Of theaters and
restaurants Chicago Record Herald.
why" said the traveller do you
attach so much attention to the dragon?
Don't you know there Is no such crca-
turer' MY dear sir" answered Mr..
Ii 10, the eminent Chinese philoso-
phcr II often find the Goddess Of Lib
crty depicted ON your public emblems.
Set / have found 1t impossible to meet
the lady personally. Washington
star.
visitor to the West Indies (who has
been warned against bathing in the
river because OF alllgators, but has been
told by the boatmcn that there are
none at the rivers MOUTH BY Joye,
this Is ripping But, | say, how do
you know there are no allgators here?
Roalm9u Wei. YOU see, sah de ALI
gator am 80 turr'bIe feared Oh de-
shaeN.' Punch.
Taking IA ~nJabout Route.
..E-.L anns this ranlrt mean by