The Washington herald., 1907-09-01

"Pink piammas. Mr.. Shrew! An at
vour time O. life! Mercy! but were
gettln' Up in the world. Just like the
Russian autocraey, l declare! why
Mrs. Jains was here when you sent EN-
up this afternoon, and opened 'em IN
front O. her, and l tell you, Job shrew'
even If you are my husband, just set
there and blushed.
Now you needn't pretend you're
sleepy No wonder you want TO hide
your head with them things on-and
white frogs across the chest Of you
a real military afr, you've got You
needn't think I don't remember the
time when you was glad to wear fan
mel night-shirts, and short in the
sleeves, too. It's reading these Amelie
Rives novels that's putting ideas into
your head! Heaven help me. that I
should be a deserted wife, with four
small ehildren-and you know as we'll
as I do that little Archibald run a
hsh-hook in his hand this afternoon.
That's right. snore! I know it's all
a pretense, and I'm just a-golng 20 tell
you a few things. anyway. I've been
reading up about that deceased wife's
sister again, that everybody says Is
such a triumph. l can't see no tri-
umph IN II. The new law they've
passed doesn't allow a poor widow to
marry her deceased husbands brother,
That's always the way with you men;
looking out for yourselves first OF all.
Ne wearing a nighteap made Of nuns
yelling, and you with your pink pjan-
mas! Ugh!
speaking about politics. wonder
whose a-paying all the bills for these
candidates to go travelling about the
country showing themselves on, so We
can see their good points, Ike fancy
cattle at the fair. Here's Mr.. Taft of.
clear around the world. and you know
that II transportation was by weight,
they'd have TO charge him excess bag
gage; here's Mr.. Cannon, just a-cussin'
because they won't let him smoke
more'n fifty black cigars day; Mr..
Fairbanks Is out West and stih "a
Westin', talking as he goes, though
don't see many OF his speeches IN the
papers; Mr.. Hughes O. New York, is
gaddin' about the state when he ought
70 be home a mindin' tie new baby,
and not leave it all for his poor wife
10 eo-and as for Knox, Lord only
knows where he isl
AN the Democrats! Where are the
Democrats? There's Mr. Bryan, but
he's about out O. breath with running
for Office; and all that's left is the
Louisville Courier-Journal, and It's
been burned out, though 1t is coming
out regular,
"Job, Now. know you're not asleep.
Listen to me. suppose you heard
about the Standard Oil Company being
arrested for giving short measure to
IT'S customers. I've always wondered
how II was we burned so much oil In
the parlor lamp. They don't sell It by
the quart: they only sell can. Some
one asked 'em how big a can of oil
was. end they said that the courts had
held that 1t was the same size as a
niece Of cheese. think that's absurd,
cause I've seen pieces OF cheese Of all
sizes. There was that big one. you
remember, at the St. Louis FAR; it
come from Switzerland, and was full
Of holes.
whats that? What, No. you
needn't lie there pretending to be NUT
ter!ng IN your sleep and dreaming.
Great hand for dreaming, you are.
That's what you told me about that
new dress you were going to buy me
when I promised not TO scold you for
the money you lost playing skat. You
were going TO buy me dream OF
dress. That's ali 1t Is, 80 far-a dreaml
Pink pjammas. indeed, ard little Ha-
ley's pants is all fringe at the edges
''I see Mr.. Carnegie has been saying
nice things in an approvin' way Of the
German Emperor. wonder what he
wants now. He's been giving lot OF
his libraries TO the German Empire, but
hear the books are so bad that some
other millionaire is given out spec
tacles TO the people to read 'em by.
One Of the greatest men on earth
Mr. Carnegie says the Emperor is, I