The Glenwood post., 1907-02-02

ASaSheu SuduDeTlu at W washington
messenger arrived and informed me
that the president had received my
letter of Introduction and desired me
to call the next morning at 10 O'Clock,
which l did.
After passing the sentinels at the
door l was taken into the room OF Mr.
Private Secretary Lie Halford, who
greeted me cordially and said, "Mr.
Wilder. the president will see you" |
was ushered into Mr.. Harrison's pres
ence, and the following conversation
ensued
"Mr. President, this is Mr.. Wilder"
"How do you do, Mr. Wilder"
"How do you do, Mr.. PresidentT
A profound silence followed-it seem
ed to me to be several minutes long
then | said:
"Good day. Mr.. President"
"Good day, Mr.. Wilder"
81 Cannot Place You"
After leaving the room l turned to
Mr.. Halford, raised my coat tails and
asked:
Wont you please kick meY'
OF course l had to refer to the in
cident in my monologue that season,
for it isn't every day that a profession
al entertainer is invited to call at tie
White House. But l did not care to
tell exactly what occurred, so adapt
ed an old minstrel joke and said:
Il called on the president the other
day. l walked In in familiar way
and said, How do you do, Mr. Presi-
dentT He said, Sir, 1 cannot place
you Well I replied, that's what
I'm here for"
l afterward heard that President
Harrison was very cold and lacked
cordiality. Still later 1 discovered
with my own eyes and ears that he
had kind heart and genial nature
One summer while 1 was at Saratoga
l was asked by w. ]. Arkell to Mount
McGregor to meet President Harrison
at dinner and to become a member of
fishing party. Later In the day at
his own cottage he transfxed me with
merry twinkle Of his eye and said:
Marshall. what's this story you've
been telling about your visit to the
White House?"
Story About a Jay.
l saw l was in for it, so | repeated
the minstrel joke already recorded. He
laughed so heartily that there wasn't
enough unbroken ice between US to
hold up a dancing mosquito.
I had long been puzzled as to the ori.
gin Of the word Jay" as applied to
"easy marks" among countrymen, and
l told the president SO. He modestly
admitted that had come to the right
shop for tnformation; then he told me
this story
winter was coming on, and blue
jay made up his mind that he would
prepare for it. He found vacant hut
with knothole in the roof, and he
said to himself, Here's good place to
store my winter supplies so he began
to collect provender. His acquaint-
ances who passed by saw what he was
doing. Then they laughed and took a
rest, for they knew how to get in by
the side door. Whenever he dropped a
nut or bit of meat through the knot
hole they would hop in below and COB
BILE it. So, Marshall, next time you
hear any one called jay I'm sure
you'll know what 1t means"
The Hog Dealer Got Even.
Here is one that President Harrison
told me to illustrate the skill Of some
men In talking their way out of tight
place:
There was a man in Indiana who
had way of taking his own advice,
though he generally had to do things
afterward to get even with himself.
He was hog dealer. and one season
he drove lot of hogs to Indianapolis.
about 100 miles distant, though he
could get nearly as good a price Mt a
town much nearer home. Arrived at
indianapolis, he learned that prices
had gone down, SO he held on for
rise, but when offered a good price he
stood out for more and insisted that II
he did not get it he would drive the
hogs back home, which he finally did
and sold them for less than was offer-
ed him in the city. When one Of his
friends asked him why he had acted
so unwisely he replied:
II wanted to get even with them city
hog buyers"
But did you?"
"Well. they didn't get my hogs"
But what did you get out of the
transaction
"Get? Why, bless your thick skull.
got the society Of the hogs all the way
back hama"