Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1907-08-05

1.-THE query, "Do you know any such
imam, Travers."
II d-d-do. / have in m-my m-m.
mind j-just the m-man you WV.
want"
The assembled reformers hailed
him as savior and with one voice
begged him to name the man.
81 d-don't think H-he w-w-would
be av-v-vailable, g-g-gentlemen; unf.
f-fortun-n-nately, H-he was c-c-cru-
CITED eight-t-teen h-hundred years
ago"
Henry Clews and Travers were
close friends, but the wit took great
delight in joking the financier, who
took his sallies with unfailing good
humor. Clews was an industrious
letter writer and interviewer" on
all public questions. He never, let a
chance go by for engaging in current
discussion. On one occasion he had
written a magazine article on nation
al finances which he felt proud over.
Meeting Travers, he accosted him
with:
Say, Travers, have you seen my
last article on the currency ques-
tion?"
81 d-d-don't kn-n-now, Henry, BIB
but / ho-ho-hope So"
Another time he hailed Clews as
the latter was entering a crowded
club room, and with simulated
boisterousness introduced him as
"one of our most illustrious self
made men," The financler took of
his hat and bowed low. exposing as
he did so a pate as destitute of hair
as a billiard ball. an exhibit which
led Travers to say:
Henry, wh-h-ile you w-were-
were m-m-maklng yourself, w-wh-y
d-d-din't you p-p-put s-s-some h-hair
on tt-top OF your h-h-head?"
Travcrs and Jerome.
Travers and the late Lawrence Il.
Jerome known always as Larry"
we're inseparable friends, though
forever victimlzing one another with
practical jokes. Once the two were
travelling together on a trip in the
south. Just before the conductor
was expected to come through the
car. Travers fell asleep.
Jerome slyly removed from Trav-
ers' pocket the pass on which he was
travelling, and going forward several
seats. sat down and simulated slum-
ber. When the conductor shook him
and asked for his ticket, Jerome pre-
tended to search through all his
pockets. Then. knowing exactly what
Travers would say under the cir9um-
stances, and initiating his friends
suffering speech. he said:
I'm W-w-william r. T-t-travers
OF New Yor. | had a p-p-pass; BIB
but c-c-can't find Il. I'm a BIB
brother-in-law OF Mr.. Blank, the
president OF the road, and assure
you it's all right"
The conductor accepted the expla-
nation and passed on. A moment
later he shook the sleeping Travers
by the shoulder. Travers felt for
his pass and then, like his impostor
friend, searched through all his ,
pockets. the conductor regarding him |
with sudden suspicion. Finally he |
suffered out:
I'm W-w-william II. T-t-travers :
of New Yor. had a p-p-pass; BIB
but e-e-ean't fnd Il. I'm b-b- |
brother-in-law OF Mr.. Blank, the |
president OF the road, and | assure
you it's all right"
II guess not" replied the conduc-
tor You can't fool me. even with
that stutter. You1l have to pay your
fare or be put on.
Jerome permitted Travers to work
himself into a rage OF indignation.
md then interposed with the pass I
md a cigar for the conductor
The Siamese Twins.
Travers in company with some
friends went 10 see the Siamese :
wins. He examined attentiyely the
singular ligature that connected the
wins. aud turning 10 the lecturer
iolemnly said. "B-b-b-br-br-others, /
The story OF how Travers suppress
"a an oraeular individual who was
boring everybody with long.windea
'ssay on the oyster had considerable
'ogue, The fellow was going on
'ndlessly and aimlessly, and finally
tarted upon discussion as TO the
Intelligence OF the hiyalve, saying
hat Il was disputed point among ,
eientists whether the oyster hai ,
lrains. L