davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Bridgeton pioneer., 1907-02-21
NO SENSE OF HUM0R.
A Scientists Criticism of a Comic
Book For Children.


Charles Monselet, a Frenchman Of
letters, published a comic scientific
dictionary" for the benefit of children,
who found no little amusement In his
odd accounts of things in the animal
world which were perfectly familiar
to them, but which were described in a
rather fantastic way in II. Monselet's
book.
The editor of a certain scientific jour
nal, however was much surprised and
shocked at NJ Monselet's ignorance
when he took up the book, and he
wrote an article about it in his paper,
which ran as follows:
"a certain NJ. Monselet has publish
ed a dictionary for the use of children,
which contains definitions showing the
most extraordinary ignorance, such as
the following:
"'Sardine-A little fish without any
head which lives in OIL
'As if a fish could live without a
head and in oil.
Another definition:
Parrot-A bird somewhat resem-
bling the pigeon, generally green when
it is not red or yellow or blue. Cocka
toos sometimes live to be a hundred
years old, except when they are stuff
ed, and then there Is no limit to the
length of their life
Now, it happens that the parrot Is
not a pigeon at all and never has the
colors that NJ Monselet gives to him,
and, in short. this N. Monselet knows
no more of natural history than he has
grains of common sense"
Bridgeton pioneer., 1907-02-21
SKEE JUMPERS EXPLOIT.
Record Holder Covered 112 Feet at a
Single Leap.

1
Single Leap.
Skee jumping bids fair to become one
of the most popular Of winter recrea-
tions, says the New York World. More
persons have taken to this sport this
winter than ever before in the colder
parts of the United States.
Ole Feiring of Duluth is the Ameri-
can champion at this game. He won
this title a few days ago in his home
town by flying leap of 112 feet. For
several years Gustave Bye, also of Du-
luth, held this record. His best jump
was JOG feet
Skee jumping is one of the most spec
tacular of sports. 1t is also a daring
feat, and for person to compete in a
skee jumping contest he must not only
be possessed of great suppleness, but
must also have an abundance of cour-
age, for without either it would be as
dangerous as is high diving.
Skee jumping is a Norwegian sport
The skees are about yard long, slightly
turned up in the front. They are made
of wood and are fastened to the wear
er's shoes and resemble the runners Of
sled.
In competition the contestants start
down steep hill at full speed. In the
middle of the hill projecting ledge Of
snow is formed, the upper part Of
which has less slope than the hill it.
self. In fact, at its edge it is almost
horizontal. From there there is sud-
den drop of about ten feet, beyond
which the hill continues at steep an
gle for about quarter of mile. It is
taking this drop that Is most danger
GUS. When a competitor leaves this
ledge he shoots up in the air to a
height Of nearly fifty feet, from which
he descends like meteor. Should he
not land squarely on his skees serious
accident is the probable result.
At all places where skee jumping
meets are held physicians are In attend
ance. In Norway all contestants must
be more than twenty-six years old, and
before any one is allowed to compete
he must be examined by a physician,
who will pass upon the competitors
temperament. Should the entrant show
the least signs of nervousness his entry
| Is refused
Bridgeton pioneer., 1907-02-21
The Subtle Difference.

An eernest defender of things Irish
asserts that the traditional bull Of Ire
land is not as Is commonly supposed,
the expression of a laundering intelli-
gence, but, on the contrary, shows the
exquisite feeling of the Irish for fine
shades of meaning. The trouble lies
in the ears that hear it.
IF ye were to be killed crossing
fence ye'd be all right" said a locker
on to a fox hunter whose horse had
turned head over heels in the middle
of level pasture, "but If We were
killed on the fiat o. the field ye'd never
hold up your head againy"
Bridgeton pioneer., 1907-02-21
BAKER AND JEROME QUITS.
How Cincinnati Attorney Turns Joke
on the New Yorker.

on the New Yorker.
Attorney Charles w. Baker of Gin
cinnati and District Attorney Jerome
of New York are quits, according to a
Cincinnati special dispatch to the New
York World. A few days ago Mr.. Je-
rome caused a stir in the Thaw trial
hv examining talesmen as to their
knowledge of ''Alr. Baker of Cincin-
natl" When asked TO explain who the
mysterious Mr.. Baker was he re
marked facetiously, the pillars of this
temple need strengthening. The 'mys-
ferrous Mr.. Baker became the sub
jeet of scores of press kilograms to as
certain what connection he might have
with the Thaw case
Mr.. Baker appeared in an ordinary
case at Cincinnati the other day and
examined talesmen.
DO you know a Mr.. Jerome of New
York;" he asked the first, and the
spectators smiled.
Did Mr.. Jerome Of New York call
at your house to see you last night
about this case?" was asked, and as
the juror answered in the negative
Judge Outcault and all present joined
in the laugh. Mr.. Bakers face never
relaxed its sternness, and he continued:
Did a Mr.. Jerome of New York call
you up over the telephone last night
and talk to you about this case?"
"No, sir
"Have you seen Mr.. Jerome of
New York or any one who looked like
him hanging around the corridors Of
the courthouse?" The courtroom rang
with laughter.
The next juror was put through the
same course of questioning. Then Judge
Swing suggested:
"Mr. Baker, if you are getting even
with Mr.. Jerome think you have sue
ceeded, and you might examine the
jurors collectively as to their knowl-
edge of the mysterious Mr.. Jerome "
Mr.. Baker did so. One of the jurors
turned to another and asked:
"Who in thunder is Jerome?"
After court Mr.. Baker was asked
why he had referred TO Mr.. jerome.
He glanced vacantly at the ceiling,
saying:
THE walls of this courthouse need
strengthening"
Bridgeton pioneer., 1907-02-21
Similarity of Writing.

''From my pile Of autographs l take
one of statesman well known and lay
1t side by side with the autographs of
great author and great ecclesias-
tic," writes a British publicist. "All
three are very small, exquisitely neat,
very little slanted, absolutely legible
Well as I knew the three writer's, l
doubt If I could tell which wrote
which They were Cardinal Manning,
Mr. Froude and Lord Rosebery. viii
the experts tell me if in this case SINH
larity of writing bodied forth similar
ity of gifts or qualities?"
Bridgeton pioneer., 1907-02-21
A Bond of Sympathy.

While the new maid tidied the room
the busy woman kept on writing.
''Do you make that all out of your
own head?" asked Jane
YES" said the busy woman.
MY" said Jane admiringly. you
must have brainsr'
"Brains!' sighed the woman de-
spondently. "Oh, Jane, 1 haven't an
ounce of bra1ns.''
For a moment Jane regarded her
with sincere commiseration.
"Oh, well,' she said presently, don't
mind what l say. amt very smart
myself. New York Press.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1907-02-21
Matrimonial.

Three Germans were sitting at lunch
con recently and were overheard dis
eussing the second marriage of a mu-
tual friend when one Of them remark
ed:
'I'lI tell you What. A man What mar
ries de second time don't deserve to
have lost his first vhife. life.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1907-02-21
THE ENGLISH HUSBAND
He Is, a Critic Asserts, Absolutely !.
different to His WIFI. u"

Ever since man first lost Eden ..
his wife's sake the problem of tbe ,a, Yr
ton of husband and wife has oo1a %
manded universal attention Noo.
300 years ago old John Selden declor.,
marriage is desperate thinpn ~
opinion has not altered greatly s,naa
his time. The American marriage hss
been discussed by Englishmen for coa
erations. OF the English variety n.
Emil Reich says:
To the Frenchman, the German =.
the man on the continent, matr,mon~
means everything. Woman convart,
the man, who, like piece of driftwooa
foats aimlessly downstream into
good citizen, careful business man
and a conscientious worker. She avail,
ems ambition in him; she makes him
if anything can, a success in life.
To the Englishman marriage 1,
nothing. His wife is as the cigar ba
smoked yesterday-not worth talking
about.
Even when he is courting the gIr
he says he loves he does not "tolt
woman" or make pretty speeches to
her or pay her compliments. His
thoughts are not whit more or
whit less concentrated on his work ba.
cause of her. His cricket does not
tsuffer; he is not less fit for his football
matches because of her. When he has
free half hour after the serious work
of life is over (the work of sports and
business) he will consent to come and
talk to her, probably about politics or
the latest cut in coats, never about
love.
After his wedding he leads the same
life, morally speaking, as he did be.
fore, except that he perhaps works a
little harder. His wife has made no
difference He goes to his club as Of
ten, he takes as keen an interest in his
sport, he bets mildly, and he gambles
mildly. He is also quite as ready to
run after the next pretty face he sees.
And yet this is astonishing, for the
Englishwoman is, l consider, the most
beautiful and clever woman in the
world.
Yet with all her charms she has less
influence over men than any other
whom I know. With beauty to attract
and with brains to enliven, she is only
a fgurehead in the social scheme Of
British life.
And, worst of all, she does not de.
mand to share her husbands work. A
woman's duty does not begin and end
in being good housewife and faith
| full mother 1t is not thus that she car
| influence her husband She must work
with him, share his business worries
and troubles, understand his failures
and his successes.
The Englishman will not allow 1t
you say. 1 know it, but that is be
cause the Englishwoman does not de
mand it as her right.
If she co-operated with her husband
| and insisted upon sharing his life, Eng
| land would not only be the greatest
nation in the world today, but the
| greatest that ever existed She would
| be Greece and Rome in one.
Marriage makes a man more of 6
man. 1t teaches him lessons that ht
could never have learned otherwise
Scrap Book
Bridgeton pioneer., 1907-02-21
Free Seeds.

straight down the aisle he bravely bore
A banner they had seen before,
A flag that his constituents
Had brought him when he journeyed
hence
And on the breadths that rose and fell
Shone forth the words he loved so well:
Free Seedsr'
''They don't come up" the knocker said,
The farmer member shook his head.
'That cuts no ice at all with me.
The main thing is they're given free.
And my Sedan 'twould surely be
II this bill fails to give to me
Free Seeds!'
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1907-02-21
DISLIKE OF AMERICAN FLAG.
Two Japanese Threw "OId Glory"
Down and Refused to Join Drill.

DoWn ana Refused to Join Drill.
"We do not like the American flag.
Wen have nothing to do with it."
Two Japanese twenty years of age
who have been pupils at the Corona
school in Denver for more than a year
threw down their American flags be-
fore drill at school the other day and
bolted from the room, refusing to take
part in the drill, says Denver special
dispatch to the New York Times.
For more than an hour, while the
other children of the school drilled and
waved flags in the corridors of the
school, the two Japanese stood sullen-
ly in the school yard in spite of the
cold and when approached by boys Of
the student body refused to leave the
yard till the drill was over.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1907-02-21
The Kind They Fool.

He-Some girls are awfully conceit-
ed. She = Why? He - They'll brag
about making fool of man that was
never anything else, - Detroit Free
Press.
Imperial Valley press and the Imperial press., 1907-07-06
Badly spralned Ankle Cured

Three years ago our daughter sprained her ankle and had been suffering terrib- ly for two days and nights-had not slept minute. Mr. stallings, of But Ter, Tenn, told us of Chamberlain's Pain Balm. We went to the store that night and got bottle of it and bathed her ankle two or three times and she went to sleep and had good nights rest. The next morning she was much better and in a short time could walk around and had no more trouble with her ankle -E. M. Brumitt, Hampton, Tenn. 25 and 30 cent sizes for sale by El Centre drug store.
Imperial Valley press and the Imperial press., 1907-07-06
HOltOn Inter-Urban Railway

Commencing Monday, June Sd. and until further notice an extra motor car trip will be made. Leave Holtville
 Daily except Sunday 8 a. m. Leave Fl Centro
 Daily except Sunday 9:3O a, m.
 w. F. Holt, President. c. E. Paris. Gen'l Supt.
Imperial Valley press and the Imperial press., 1907-07-06

vent further trouble of the sort. Dur Ing the evening some friend of the prisoner pushed file under the door and left rifle at hand Ramon soon removed his shackles, forced open the door and with the rifle started for the home of Gov. Tenasas. Calling the governor to the door he aimed his rifle at him and fired The governor re- turned fire with his six shooter, but strange to say neither shot took effect, although the men stood only about ten feet apart. he governors six shooter refused to go a second shot, so he lodged back for his rifle, his assallant taking advantage of the governors brief stay to effect his escape and has not been located up to the present time. It will doubtless go hard with Ramon If caught.
 Mrs. ]. F. Steintorf and son. Paul, arrived Saturday evening for the sum- mer. Paul has been attending busi- ness college in the city for the past nine months.
 Donald Dool has gone to Aledo, Ill.,, where he will meet his mother and spend the summer in the home state.
 Edward Dool left Sunday morning for the city. He expects to return in a few days.
 Mrs A. Mooney, mother and little daughter have gone out to the coast for the summer on account of the health of the latter.
 pr. and Mrs. Hromadka, of Chicago have arrived in the city. The doctor will have charge of pr. Peterson's medical practice while the latter takes his vacation.
 Mr. Haskins, formerly employed by the C. D. Co.,, will take Mir. Otter's place as zanjero during his absence in the east this summer.
 Next Sabbath morning the regular communion services will be observed at the Congregational church. At this time those who have decided to unite with this church will be received.
 As the process of cleaning up the political corruption of town and city proceeds men who stand for truth and righteousness and stainless flag are led to exclaim with the poet: God give us men! time like this
 demands
 Strong minds, great hearts, true faith
 and ready hands ,s s Men whom the lust of office does not xii, Men whom the spells of office cannot
 buy,
 Men who possess opinions and will, Men who have honor-men who will
 not lie!"
Imperial Valley press and the Imperial press., 1907-07-06
Born in Iowa

Our family were all born and raised in Iowa and have used Chamberlain collie, cholera and diarrhoea remedy (made at Des Moines) for years. We know how good it is from long experi- ence in the use of it. In fact, when in Fl Paso, Texas, the writer's life was saved by the prompt use of this remedy. We are now engaged in the mercantile business at Narcoossee, Fla, and have introduced the remedy here. It has proven very successful and is constantly growing in favor.-Ennis Bros. This remedy is for sale by Fl Centro drug store.
Imperial Valley press and the Imperial press., 1907-07-06

Smltn qulte unSauSIactoTy, consequent ly she has closed her shop temporarily until she can make other arrangements
 Rumor has It that John M. Eshel- man. of San Francisco, Is to make his future home at Calexlco. Mir. EsheTnan Is well known as a legislator also as an instructor of law at the state university. Last winter hls health gave out, necessltatlng him to seek a warmer climate. He has been living at the upper heading for three months and Is much improved If he comes permanently to Calexico he will enter upon the practice of law here.
 The Fraternal Brotherhood lodge gave lawn party at the home of Mir. and Mrs. Edgar. Wednesday evening. Nearly all present spoke of the beauty and comfort of the lppla lawn, which is one of the luxuries of Calexlco MT. and Mrs. Edgar entertained their guests in most hospitable manner and all departed at a late hour having spent very pleasant evening.
 There was some excitement in town Friday when the news came that eight carloads of steel had arrived and crew of men had begun laying the track across the line. Work will be pushed from now on as rapidly as pos sible In spite of the intense heat.
 Mrs. C. B Brown met with a seri- ous accident, near her home at Co., vina. In stepping from vehicle she Wrenched her ankle in such a way as to give 1t severe sprain. A plaster paris cast was thought necessary. MT. Brown left for few days visit with his family. Geo. Reed, of Imperial, will be in charge of the s. P. station during his absence.
 There was something doing at the Chronicle office last Friday when J. Prince of the American Type Found CTS company of Los Angeles arrived to set up the big Cranston cylinder press. With five men putting the press together and two men putting in the motor it looked as if there was to be future for the Chronicle. MT. Editor will hardly recognize his own shop when he returns,
 Shattuck and Desmond Go. have brought in eighty five head of stock from Yuma where they have been in the employ of the reclamation service at Laguna dam, but were recently drowned out. Twenty eight head have been engaged as driving stock and 2o head employed by c. H. Clarke of the c D. Go. to reinforce the company's work teams. The rest of the stock was put out to pasture.
 A shooting affray occurred in Mexi- cali Friday night. which might have resulted in the vacancy of the office of governor of Baja, California, had the assailant been a better marksman. A Mexican by the name of Ramon Bor- duga was arrested on some minor charge and placed in jail, After as saultng the officer and knocking him down he was put into shackles to pre-
Imperial Valley press and the Imperial press., 1907-07-06
Calexico Items

n. w. Brewer, attorney at law or Brawley, spent day at Calexlco look ing up his interests.
 J. c. Johnson, of Alblan, Iowa, who has been the guest of Mr. and Mrs. Wright for several days, has returned to the city. MT. Johnson expressed himself as being very favorable im- pressed with the valley.
 The bachelors at the postoffce have added a shower bath for their comfort and convenience this summer.
 0. B. Tout left for a few days outing at San Diego. He took his overcoat.
 Arthur Stelntorf has returned from Los Angeles, where he has been at tending school for the past year
 l, A. Morrison is having his resi- dence wired for electric lights.
 N. w. Hilton has returned from San Pedro where he has been spending some ten days.
 Mss Gladys Mitchell has returned from Riverside, where she has been attending high school for the past year. She has accepted a position in the DOS office here for the summer.
 Earl Bates, of Vile Park, was in town two or three days looking after his land interests near Heber.
 Mrs. Williams, of Los Angeles, spent few days with friends in and about Calexco.
 MT. l. L. Winery, who has a ranch near Nr. Records, was suddenly called to his home In Woodstock, Wis, On account of the serious illness of his mother. He will remain east lndefin- itely.
 T. l Mitchell has had several emp ty crates sent down from Fl Centro so that he may ship his surplus canta- loupes, of which he has good many more than the local markets can handle.
 The trial of Bob Davis and Mir. Gale for illegal liquor selling, which was to have been held In Calexico, July lst, was postponed by Judge Hoffman until July 10th, as District Attorney Kirby will be unable to come over from San Diego before that time,
 The trunk Miss Gladys Mitchell has been looking for ever since she came home from Riverside about a week ago, just arrived Monday morning, So that Gladys can now return the clothes she had to borrow to attend CnurCh last Sunday.
 Mrs. J. B. Hoffman has gone to Sherman to spend the summer with her aunt, Miss Gould.
 s. B. Otter left for Danvie, Ken 4ucky, Wednesday. He will be gone about two months
 w. c. Clark, the genial salesman from Los Angeles, is again making his rounds through the valley.
 Mrs A. Mooney found her black nu-nY1S1aLC-u 0cI,w k0c@k6C-wkS kSc0NC
Imperial Valley press and the Imperial press., 1907-07-06

We are agents to sell lots for the Fl Centro Town company; also agents for acreage adjoining town. Now is the time to buy while cheap, Ira Aten Land Co.,, Fl Centro, Calf
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-05-16

a superior development. But those
who think that the preference for the
right hand is an acquired habit, al
though one of immensely long stand
ing. suggest that perhaps the left cere-
bral hemisphere has become better
developed as the result Of the over
use of the right limbs. At any rate,
says Youths Companion, a society has
been founded in London for the culti-
vation of ambldexterity, and it will be
for the psychologists of the future to
determine whether education in the
use of the left hand can affect the de-
velopment of the right side of the
brain
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-05-16

who have been accustomed to good
homes
Formerly love in cottage meant
happiness during warm weather only.
At the approach of fall ii was neces-
sary to go and visit mamma or hunt
up a boarding house. The sympathy
of friends followed the young turtle
doves into their little suburban seclu-
sion because their friends knew that
Inconvenience lurked in every corner
of the little habitation Of four bare
walls utterly devoid OF artistic beauty
and as innocent of modern con
veniencc as the cabins OF our forefa-
theirs without their redceming big
wood burning fireplaces. But the old.
time sympathy has changed To new
time envy The girl with a five-room
modern cottage has as much comfort.
less worry and more time for social
duties ana fancy work than the more
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-05-16
Electric Car Brakes.

Considerable interest has been
awakened in the trial of a new cleo
trio brake on New York street car.
The power is furnished by the trolley
current The motorman applies the
brake with handle, similar to that
of the ordinary air-brake, and releases
it by pressing a footpedal, says
Youths Companion. 1t is said that
with the electric brake the labor Of
the motorman i5 greatly reduced
while the stops are effected more
smoothly and easily. There is no
surging of the car, the reason offered
being that the electric brake can be
released instantly, whereas the air
must escape from the cylinder of the
air brake before the pressure on the
wheels can be relieved. To provide
against failure of the trolley current,
a device is furnished whereby the
motor can be short-circuited, and the
car thus quickly stopped.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1907-05-16
Sheep Raising in Australia.

The greatest industry of Australia
is sheep raising, mainly for the sake
OF the wool, but also in part, Of
course, for the meat Australia now
ranks second among the great sheep
raising countries, Argentina being
first with 92,OOOOOO sheep. Australia
second with 72,OOO,OOO, and Russia
third with 7O,OOO,OOO. Only a few
years ago Australia was first, pos
sessing no less than lO6,26O, 900 head
of sheep. That was in 1891. Pro
longed droughts were the cause OF the
destruction of many millions of Aus
tralian sheep. but since 1902 there
has been an annual gain. Yet these
sheep were not indigenous 20 Aus
tralia They We're first introduced in
1897. being of the Spanish merino
species.