davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07
Little Willie on Flies.


thee funniest thing about flies is
thee way thee baldheaded man swears
at them and why kin they walk on
nat sealing upside down? mi pa sez
1t is Bkaws they have such suktion
on their feet. a kali has the most
teribul suktion no of but he cannot
walk on thee sealing. ma sez we
should bea kind every living thing
but she chases flies like 60 with her
apron and puts tangle-foot where the
preecher onct set down in 1t and got
his cote tails all stuck up with flies
and things. mas face got gist as read
and SO did the preachers but it
maid lots of phun for pa who
haz such hedache he kant go 2
church more than onct or Zee a yeer.
1t is funny 2 see fly monkey around
piece Of fly paper. He Gums singing
along from thee conservatory where he
haz been skating on thee plate glass
and he lites on thee edge of thee pa
per where thee stickum is all dryed
up and smells thee sweet see of tan
glefoot and regoices. Then he sticks
his itenny into the see and 10 It is
fast. Ho no sez thee fly. what fool
ishness is this and he puts won foot
in the see to git brace and then
thee other and buzzes like Time.
then he flaps his wings and yells for
help. purity soon he gets one wing
in thee see and kan only wiggel his
hind foot in thee air. If yew are going
2 help him out now is the time. If
knot go away and leave him die in
peece. when thee good Lord maid
thee commandment thou shalt knot
swear he cent flies to try thee Pa
tience of job. he cent thee fly 2
tickul thee cow and when thee COW
kicks, thee man who is milkin her
sez so = you, SOL" and the COW kicks
over the milk and the man is punished
for taking thee naim of thee Lord in
vane. onct we had a fly who lived
with us al winter and wuz the phun-
niest litel feller ever sea. He wood
fireplace but won day he fell in the
chatting dish when ma wuz making
rabbit chease and dide. flies cum
every spring and disappear every fall
don't know where they go but they
allus cum back in thee May time like
poor relations and gist stay whether
yew want them or knot. mi sister
swallered fly onct but he never cum
back. when 1 lern more about flies
1 will rite sum more. luv my teecher
and shall knot kill the harmless fly.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07
Iaabit-fornling Medicines.

Whatever may be the fact as to many
OF the so-called patent medicines con-
tanning injurious ingredients as broadly
published in some Journals Of more or
less influence, this publicity has certainly
been of great benefit in aroYsing needed
attention to this subject. 1t has, in .
considerable measure, resulted In the
most intelligent people avoiding such
foods and medicines as may be fairly sus-
pected OF containing the injurious ingre-
dientS complained Of. Recognizing this
fact some time ago, DIR. Pierce, of Buffalo,
N. Y, took time by the forelOck,s as it
we're, and published broadcast all the
ingredients OF which his popular medi-
cines are composed. Thus he has COM
pletsly forestalled all harping critics and
all opposition that might otherwise be
urged against his medicines, because they
are now OF KNOWN CoMPosITIoN. Fur
thermore, from the formula printed on
every bottle wrapper, 1t will be seen that
these medicines contain no alcohol or
other habit-forming drugs. Neither do
they contain any narcotics or injurious
agents, their ingredients being purely
vegetable, extracted from the roots of
medicinal plants found growing in the
depths OF our American forests and Of
well recognized curative virtues.
Instead OF alcohol, which even In small
portions long continued, as In obstinate
cases Of diseases, becomes highly objec-
tionable from its tendency to produce
craving for stimulants, DR.. Pierce en-
ploys chemically pure, triple refined
glycerIne, which OF Itself is valuable
remedy in many cases Of chronic diseases,
being a superior demulcent, antiseptic,
antiferment and supporting nutrltiye.
1t enhances the curative action Of the
Golden Seal root, Stona root, Black
Cherrybark and Bloodroot, contained In
"Golden Medical Discovery" in all bron-
chial, throat and lung affections attended
with severe coughs. As will be seen from
the writings of the eminent Drs. Grover
COe, of New York; Bartholow, OF Jeffer-
son Medical College, Phila.; Scndder, Of
Cincinnati; Ellingwood, Of Chicago:
Hale, of Chicago, and others, who stand
as leaders in their several schools of
practice, the foregoing agents are the
uery best ingredients that DR.. Pierce
could have chosen to make up his IA
nous discovery" for the cure of not
only bronchial, throat and lung affec.
tions, but also of chronic catarrh in all
Its various forms wherever located.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07
In the Good Old w.v.

Mesdames VIM. Evans and Leonard
Wilhoit,, the former with three inter.
esting children and the latter with
one, an infant, arrived here last week,
and with their husbands are keeping
house in the Ed. Cecil property at the
east end of Main street With the
exception of Cashier Knight and wife
these ladies are among total strangers.
1t behooves the ladies of our town,
therefore, to at once call upon and
bid them welcome. Especially so
since they are most estimable ladies',
and will be quite an addition to the
social circle. Now do not delay In this
matter. but crimp your hair, put on
your best bib and tucker, go see these
ladies and show them you are right
glad that they are to be residents and
neighbors. Then you will feel better.
Hazel Green (Ky.) Herald.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07
Rag Weed.

The rum blossom is q perennial.
The CLOCK Is very bashful. At least
It always has It's hands in front OF Its
face.
Some men are always looking for
pearls in their oyster soup. As for
me. would be satisfied II could find
An oyster.
In talking. as in shooting. one
should aim at mark.
The man who married the frst girl
he ever loved would be a curiosity.
Why is the drinking man like lit
tie German band? Toot!
The exalted opinion the ordinary
village alderman has Of himself would
be funny If 1t were not for the fact
that you want your sidewalk petition
to be accepted.
On hot day 1t is easy to turn a
corner into an ice-cream parlor and
an ice-cream soda into a pretty young
lady.
The best way to get some people
to agree with you Is to come up with
an argument on the opposite side of
the question from what you really be.
lieve.
The lay of the poet is far outclassed
by the lay Of the hen.
1t seems there are men who are
brave merely that they may have
something to talk about the rest of
their lives.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07
ANY man can bO a millionaire II ho

ANY man can be q millionaire II he
has the money.
A bald,headed man is happy as long
as he has three hairs 70 spread around
on his sky-pleoe.
What about the Felf-mado Womanf'
asks an exchange. She 10 married 70
the man whose father left him 4 goo6
business and sense enough TO tahS
care of It.
Roh men frequently leave mere -
their lawyers than 10 mentioned IN
their wills.
When q man goes away fer rest es0
change. be may get the rest, but bo
will como home with less change than
hC had before he went on his Vaos-
ton.
An artist who cannot paint q Goo6
picture on piSoe Of canvas might
make good awning Of the canvas.
1t is hard luck for q wife when nho
at last sucoeeds In getting her Aus-
band to accompany her TO church, TO
hnd upon leaving that someone has
taken his new "a straw hat ana Isft
1B-csnt straw lid in its piaoat
One swallow may not make @ sun-
mer, but enough of them win put you
in condition where you won't care.
Sometimes whom father tries 70
get daughter OF bis hands hs gets
\ sonIh-law TO put on his feet.
1t is hard TO bo a humorist IN q
hot city oface without an olootsioAI
fen.
A Wisconsin exchange tails e g
man who is 'IllSEiblS for the eAos e
sheriff" Folks "oughter" WTitt plain
e, that's q fact. \
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07
NOTICE.

To Whom 1t May Concern:
The undersigned will on the 9th day
of August, 1907. or as soon thereafter
az it can be heard. apply to the Couu-
ell of the Town of Hartford, in Ma
son county. w. Va. at its regular
place of meeting in said town, for the
right and franchise of building, con.
dncting aud operating in said town, a
telephone system and business. Also
the undersigned will ON the 5th day
of August, 1907, or as soon thereafter
as it can be heard, apply to the
Council of the Town of Mason in said
Mason county, West Virginia. at its
regular placeof meeting in said town,
for the ri bit and franchise of build
ing. constructing and operating in
said town a telephone system and
business
This June 2sth, 1907.
WATERLOO TELEPHONE Co.
Bye. H. Mccoy, Gen Manager.
July s 4w
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07
Copyright: 1901: by Byron Williams.

-
FruitIon.
A grasshopper sat on tuft of grass
And fddled raucous tune.
A zephyr came by with a song OF love
A-fiush with the breath of June.
''Be still." quoth the wind to the hopper
grass.
your voice has rasping note,
While mine is as sweet as the Hlted air
That springs from bluebird's throat"
The zephyr sped on with his lovers
Groom
And softly he sang of love.
An down through the valley, he sought
The heart of the sun above.
But night came at last and the zephyr
And down sank the sun to rest
Way back on the bank with his raucous
The grasshopper sang his best!
At last to his home came the one he
loved
And bIushed as she heard his song.
Then both OF them sang through the
summer days,
Through eventdes cool and long!
What matters the song that we sing
through life.
What matters its scope to cheer.
What matters the tune or the halting
voice,
If those that we love but hear9
And what doth 1t profit the nightingale
Who trills with the purl OF June,
If she that he loves has no heart to
hear
The melody Of his tuner
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07
chordn and pIanorda.


A man may be poor and q poet and
still not be genius.
The vital question just now IL.
=Where are you going the Fourth ~
A policeman should nai.e fne
electrician. Copper is good conduo-
tor.
A cross-eyed man must have q lot
Of fun fooling folks who think he IL
not seeing where he looks.
Small men and small apples are al
ways found at the bottom of the heap.
A friendly little game for sociabii-
ity's sake usually ends in ceiling
limit with everyone out for every
body else's wishbone.
The man who keeps still. shakes his
head and pays his debts, can get rep
utation for wisdom in any community.
Upsetting girl in a hammc. beats
box of rouge all hollow for superin-
dueing color.
The world is a stage on which every
man wants to be a star.
The average man works hard try
ing o find an easy job.
When man refuses to take no for
an answer there is only one thing for
the poor girl to do-answer some 9TH
er fellow, "Yesi"
A cottage will hold more Joy to the
square inch than castle.
Yes. dear. to be censistent'a Cologp,
ial dame should use Cologne.
When lawyer buys new automo-
bile 1t may or may not be sign that
another estate has been settled.
You scarcely ever find man who
has owned gasoline engine buying
an automobile. Experience is a faith
full teacher.
The man who suddenly realizes
that he is spending too much money
for cigars and who takes up with pipe
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07
onIy n Prec aIutIon.

He lin the conservatory Why
did you lead me on to a proposal if
you intended to refuse me?
She-You do me a great injus-
tice. What have l done to make
you think 1 loved you?
Hem every waltz with other
men you kept them almost at arm.
length, but when waltzing with me
you leaned your head on my shoul-
der and let me almost carry you.
She-That was to keep my feet
of the floor SO you wouldn't step oil
my toes.-New York Weekly.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07

The social cnronIcier was making
q professional call upon a woman
when her small daughter came run
ming into the room, carrying con,
spicuously rolled newspaper.
Mamma, see, we havera nice puff
in the paper about u.s." Choking
down her embarrassment, the moth
er managed to ask naturally 'Who
gave you the paperY" "WhY, the
Smiths. They saw it first. They
showed it to me. Aren't you glad?
You we're just saying last night
"1 hope" interrupted the woman in
a forced maternal tone as she dart
ed a killing look at her daughter
"1 hope you did not act this way
over at the Smiths" ri should say
moi" said the little girl. 81 pre-,
tended to be awfully mad about it,
and l said, Now, who do you sup
pose had the bad taste to put our
names in the paperY" Contrary to
her desire, the mother had to laugh,
though her face was crimson, and
Ghe did not look the visitor in the
eye as she said goOdby.-C Chicago In
ter Ocean.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07

Astronomers long since came 20 the
conclusion that the moons surface Is
very hot during the height of the lunar
day, which. as will be remembered,
lasts two weeks. and very cold during
the lunar night. which is equally long.
TheEe extremes OF temperature reach
their height at the lunar noon and
midnight and are greater than any
natural Temperatures ON the earth
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07
An EdItor,a Lnmnn,.

sOmshew. fiat seem to vaat q 20
lshin'
Strange. IN admit such . nAESln' ana
Wishin'.
somsh0y. l DON'T seem to have nush
ambition:
Can't think Of nothin' except ts 90 asAiS,I
Dream IT by night ana wake up IN eon1i-
tioa
Jl', { cut Ioo.. and 60 Aorthwara .
hShin'
sun. Cent see much excuse ter NJ.
Wfshin'-
Railroad. won't pass US. as onOs to 60
Can't van 80 far eros. the ooun.ry q
Darn The old r.batssi why can't 70
ashiA'f =
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07
atork Mot bead aut Lee,urlnn

A Nebraska editor was In pretty
tight box last week. but he extricated
himself by the following:
Rev. NJ. A. Stork is not dead, as
has been published and which was
noted in this paper last week. A. H.
Carter. who has been looking up the
matter. received letter from Mr..
stork dated the 9th. and he stated
that he is not dead nor dying, but that
he is lecturing to crowded houses In
Sylvan Grove, Kansas.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07
PunIahment for MIddY.

In the recent British naval ma.
neuyers a midshlpsman who had
rammed the admirals ship with Q
steam launch had to make q trip
around the feet in a launch, while she
was hung all around with fenderH and
labeled Not Under Control"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07
Cure for Dyspepsia.

For headache, squeeze the Juice of
a small lemon into glass nearly full
OF water; add good pinch of soda
and drink while foaming. 1t is espe-
cially good If one is dyspeptic or bill
lious.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07
Explorer Was Farm Bow.

Capt Sverdrup. the Arctic explorer
who recently added 100000 square
miles of Ice to the king Of Swedens
dominions, spent his boyhood days on
a forest farm.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07
Youno People viii Kiss.

What do you think of this anti
kissing crusade in Indiana?"
"oh, dare say most of the young
people there will set their faceE
against baltimore American.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07
SkiddooI

An amusing stoss Is told of Des
MoineE man who rbentIy went to the
circus and was thsi al &ressed by a
bore: What stepk Sou,A you incline
to take. Sir, in tkS yes5 of yonder
tiger etteoting his hv.>,S Very long
ones" replied the laco@.c capital city
man.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07
Notice.

3. Persons are hereby notified not to
credit or incur any liability on account
of my wife, Virginia Vansickle, as she
has abandoned me and my home.
WIN. NJ. VANSICKLE.
one 1s, 1907. - %
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07
l!I|..!!!||! 1! s
Copyright: IOe7i b. byron WIiIari1.

Life.
To-day bundle swathod n GsWnt
Tomorrow. beg like. tanned ana HCoylal
To-day q lover, true ana bsld;
Tomorrow. striving hard for Goidi
To-day a triumph and e name;
Tomorrow. what Is wealth ana 1anSfs
To-day the last descending sun;
Tomorrow Life on earth ia donoi
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07
Girls Debt 70 Pana-

Daughters can never take too lnuch
care of their fathers.-Plautua.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07
DIV Brown, Pension. Attorney and
Notary Public, % Years Ex-

u w 6foWnl 6enbAVh' nS'VANSJ
Notary Public, % Years Ex-
- psrisnes.
l prosecute pension claims OF
every kind. increases widows aud
minor claims, bounty, eto.
I also write deeds, deeds of trust,
bills of sale, make abstracts of title
q real estate. Have me examine
itls to real estate before you buy
I may save you money. lalso exc
cuts vouchers, administer osths,
etn Give me a trial with your
business.
DIV Brown.
Ohice with Circuit Clerk.
Point Pleasant, W Va.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07
RIno All Rioht

Alfred Austin should cheer up.
Frank L. Stanton says his latest poem
Monastery Bells" has the right
ring"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07

1t requires skill in handling the
farm team to get the most out of 1t.
Study to know your horses, and the
easiest methods of handling them.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07

Experiments by the Purdue Qnd.)
experiment station shows that the
hogs following steers which are fed
ear corn and cIov1r hay, make the
greatest gains
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07

Air the stables before milking. even
in the coolest weather Of winter, but
save the cleaning up until after the
milk is safe in the dairy room.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07

To keep the cream intended for
churning uniform 1t should be stirred
daily.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07

smoking. always tells his friends how
much more he enjoys pipe than a
cigar-really.
Should a young man kiss girl
when it is Lent?" asks city newspe-
per. OF course not, but he should call
before the other fellow has time to
borrow It.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07

The time to gather vegetables is in
the morning when they are fresh and
crisp.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07
COUNTY.

Judge of Circuit Court W. a. Parsons
Point Pleasant
Clerk of Circuit Court, A l.; Boggess
Oficial Stenographer, E. c; Winger
Point Pleasant
Clerk of Co. Court. j. P. R. B Smith
Deputy Co. Clerk. Jos. III. Holloway
Co. Comm'rs. .... Bird Stone, Pre'st
-. W. W. Jackson,
. New Haven
w. H. Vaught,
Point Pleasant
: Sheriff -.........-...J " MepeaInlIC saILIiv
Prosecuting atty ......;- /. >. Ecnois
Assessor LIST Dist -. K E Musgraye
N''o'''- Point Pleasant
2d Dist. Walter E. Sturgeon
MERGERS Bottom
County surveyor......Ge SEQ; E; Chtlds
Point Pleasant
supt Schools. G. a. AAsbfen S5fen
Circuit Court Regular term be-
Gins on first Tuesday of March, June,
Ssptember ard December.
County Court-Regular term be
gins ON first Monday of January, a prll,
July and October.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07

Grapes strung on wire trellises are
said to be injured sometimes during
thunderstorms. A way to prevent
this. it is said, is to ground the wires,
making the current harmless.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07

Clean. dry quarters are necessary
for the calf. Disease soon finds its
way where filth is.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07

To prepare poisoned corn for
sophers, field mice, crows, ETC., dis
solve strychnia sulphate. one-half
ounce. in half gallon of water by heat.
ing gently for half an hour. then soak
the corn until the solution is all alb.
sorbed
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07

Strawberry leaf blight is indicated
by withering of the leaves. little brown
spots forming on the leaves, becoming
white with rims of red about them.
The disease makes Its appearance in
the summer after the crop has been
gathered. 1t is supposed to most af-
feet those plants that have made
heavy growth during the season. The
leaves may be moved OF and burned
and the new leaves that start may be
sprayed with Bordeaux mixture. If
there is mulch lying about It should
also be burned to prevent It spreading
the disease from spores that may have
fallen on it.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07

Haphazard methods don't go in the
poultry yard.
Put a little alsike with the red
clover when sowing.
Let the aim be not only to improve
your methods, but your habits as well
To keep the cream intended for
churning uniform 1t should be stirred
daily.
Shade is needed for the chickens.
Plum trees do well when planted in
The chicken yard.
1t is the early chick that not only
catches the worm, but that makes the
most profit for its owner
Better be late in planting corn than
o be in haste TO get the corn in while
he ground is clammy and cold.
In pruning always cut as close as
,ossible, and in this way make II
possible for the tree to cover the
wound.
Don't plant trees If you are not will.
ng to give them the attention they
leed afterwards to make healthy, Wig
,rous growth
Did you plant any trees on Arbor
lay? Not too late yet Do 1t by all
means, and succeeding generations
viii rise up and call you blessed.
The farmer who will not improve is
he farmer who will tell you that the
armer's lot is the worst kind of slave
y and that there is no money in
armlng.
The plow with dull point infiicts a
louble hardship. 1t is hard for the
horse before the plow to pull 1t and 1T
IS hard on the man behind the plow
TO hold 1t in the furrow.
1t is foolish to let strawberry plants
fruit the first season. Pick off any
blossoms which may appear and you
will reap your reward in vigorous
plants which will yield abundant har-
vest the second season.
Watch the nest as well as the sit,
ting hen for lice and mites Make
her task as easy as possible by Civ
ing her clean place to incubate the
eggs. Every sitting hen should. be
Iusted with lice powder.
To prepare poisoned corn for
sophers, field mice, crows, ETC., dis
solve strychnia sulphate. one-halfl
ounce. in half gallon of water by heat.
ing gently for half an hour. then soak
the corn until the solution is all alb.
sorbed
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07

The beautiful COW is the one that
shows a profit on the balance sheet.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07

Some of the largest growers of po-
tatoes follow the hand picking of
potato bugs. They begin at once as
soon as the bugs appear and thus get
ting the beetles before the eggs for
future colonies of bugs are laid they
keep ahead of the beetles and find 1T
an easy matter to keep them down.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07

A shotgun loaded with number two
shot is the only effective remedy for
the sheep-killing dog.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1907-08-07

Experiments in North Dakota show
that oats that weigh most per bushel
are not necessarily the most valuable.
The best oat is the one that gives
most meat, and some varieties uni
formly give higher per cent. of It
than others.