Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1907-04-20

taneuusy IN that paper and in th'
ISesetet NeWs,--An rights re
sprvcd-)
@y-N HREE times day, morning
noon and night the caterer
with his assistant passed
through the corridors oC the
old Tombs prison dragging along a
huge basket and carrying a tremend-
GUS can. How well / knew the cry
with which they vend their wares.
''Coffee. pie and rols!" Coffee pie
and rclls"
There is something about this worthy
OF more than mere passing notice.
In the first place the announcement
never varies. The same words have
been used and heard since fhe time,
some 50 years agO, when this saline
old Tombs WAS new. Think also oil the
great and good men who have hunsered
and waited and listened ana pOuS hI
and hungered aganl
Suppose that SOU are there now your
self. ana the grim wolf is bowling out
side the door OF steel--L mean hun
GER not the caseTer--yon would uh-
doubleday stop the bearers OF the can
and basket; you would be sure 10 pun
chase coffee, and very probably roll
possegsor through legal purchase of a
pie, a psychological tact of the deep
est Importance would be developed.
Now pies are Of many kinds. To at
tempt to classify or even enumerate
pies would require the lifetime of sell
enlist
What kind have you % or words to
THAI effect, would be your anxious Ia
duiry. and in clear, unnistakable An
glo-Saxon would FOLLOW the statement.
Apple rnince and cOcoAnut" Never
has this reply been known To vary;
the FORMULA is ETERNAL and there Is M
accent placed on any of the four
words. There liz no attempt to CO.
cree your choice.
How we all so through life wasting
wordsl What useless question, what
equally useless answers All ms COLI
vefsutlon with the caterer relative "
the variety of pies has been but mere
persiiiage for you win buy---coeoanut,
This Is fact which the slightest IN
yes1igatiOn VIII prove. Let the legis-
lature send solemn committee 10 ex-
anime the carterer's books. Let the
proper scientific association meet, In
quare. discuss, and tell us why II IS
that OF the millions OF pies that have
been sold In the TOmbs IS per cent OF
them have been constructed from the
cocos nucifera. The apple withers and
blooms eternal ia the Tombs.
And the Tombs is the very home OF
crime,
Now. think OF the vast Importance
OF a clear conception OF this fact. Are
these men criminals because they par
taIse of pocoanuts, or do they consume
cocoanuts because they are criminals?
Which Is the cause, which Is the ef-
fect7
The enormous Importance of this
question cannot be pndereStinlated be-
cause III the former be true, destroy all
cocoanuts, and we eliminate crime
from our long suffering world and tho
millennium Is at hand.
The fact Is before US that CRIMINALS
eat cocoanuts-the criminal appetite ~
for the cocOs nucifera. What there-
fore, is the deductlOn2
Always thirst for knowledge, ] put
the case plainly before my friend, the
caterer and was astonlshed TO see that
unhappy man fall upon his knees and
beg me not 10 betray what had
learned, because-b because AT last
got the truth from him by threaten
ing 70 tell my discovery to one OF
the female missionaries In confidence.
which Is equivalent to sending any
thing to the Associated Press.
He told me the truth; at least he told
me what [ believe TO be the truth
unhappy brow the auTels Of pioneer
Of science, for my discovery was an
others secret.
In former days the prison barber had
always been the confidential side
partner OF the district attorney This
Is the BARRIERS ancient and malionabe
right. You are in duTanca vile. await
ing trial; you desire to be shaved. With
great fore thought that which is called
Justice has made 1t impossible for you
to do this for yourself The barber
comes he Is sympathetic; he knows
your case perfectly. better than you
do yourself 1t is hopeless Convic-
ton. years of Imprisonment stare you
In the face. the future Is very dark
indeed.
HUT tho barber, he. his own self, per-
sonally, has 4 friend In the district at
torney's office, For consideration
Call You have In the world) your ln-
dictment Will be dismissed, bail Will
be accepted--in fact the barber has an
other friend who WILL attend TO the
matter of bau for vOu And you may 4