The Montgomery advertiser., 1907-06-23
A COLD PROPOSAL.
Fly Mary MckeOn.

| Copyrighted, 1907, by Mary McKeon. | Many people in Franklin predicted that within three months of the death of his good wife Deacon Grimshaw would marry the widow Spooner. They gave him a year for grieying, but not another day. All they had to go on was that the two were neighbors and | had been for five years, and that the | deacon always stood ready to hoe the widows garden, doctor her COW and nail the pickets back on the fence when the boys had knocked them off It was known that his wife and the l widow were good friends, and as the deacon was only middle-aged and we'll off 1t was hardly to be expected that he would remain single the rest of his days.
 AS a matter of fact, the deacon did seem to be looking the widows way after a few months had gone by. They | were seen sitting on her doorstep in the l gloming: he hunted the fields for cat nip for the cat; he set rattraps in her barn; he gathered her fall apples and puttied in new panes of glass in the | broken windows. The widow was known 1 to have carried to his lonely kitchen custards and pumpkin pies and jellies, and to have said that she pitied him from the bottom of her heart. and so | there seemed every reason why the two should make a match of 1t. There was one reason to the country, however and only the two knew this The dea- con wes a straight haired Methodist and the widow was a dyed-in- the wool Baptist. His wife had been buri- ed from the Methodist church and the widows husband from the Baptist, and for these and similar reasons each was "sot" in his way. | Thousands of Methodists have mar l tss,A1 l landing in the divorce court, but this happened to be an exceptional couple. l They couldn't be together quarter of an hour without discussing the question of religon, and both were plain takers l The deacon's year was pretty near up when he made up his mind that he was 1 in love with the widow and had better secure her before she floatel off. Her pies were good and her buildings excel lent, and every Monday he saw by the clothes line what fine washer she was. He had also taken notice that she was no gadaboUt, but was always at home and busy with the domestic duties. She couldn't drive a nail. and she couldn't get the hang of the axe to split wood, but as an offset to that he had heard folks say that her pickl- ed peaches were simply delicious.
 One evening the deacon went over to
 
 | perfectly sure in his mind that he would be accepted. He felt so sure of this that he brought up the religious question before proceeding to business. | There were two or three things that proved the deacon was not a good Methodist. He did not believe that the whale swallowed Jonah, and he didn't believe that Daniel was cast into the lions den He had been disciplined several times for his want of faith, l but he still remained obdurate. On the contrary, the widow believed in everything between the covers of the | Bible, and there were times when she called the widower a heather and a | barbarian. They had scarcely go- seat ed on this evening when the deacon removed his hat and wiped his brow and began:
 No, it don't stand to reason that the whale swallowed Jonah and that Jonah was spewed up again, why didn't he drown? It must have been far from shore, and how came it that there was a boat handy You see. wider"
 Deacon Grimshaw, I refuse to see" she interrupted.
 q tell you that no man could live inside a whale"
 And I tell you that Jonah did, and that ends it. I wouldn't want to be in your shoes when you come to die. YouH grunt and groan and kick around in the awfullest manner"
 "Widder, I'm sururised that you haven't more sense. Take the case of Daniel in the lions den. Do you | 'spOSe--"
 If you como over here to argue me out of my beliefs you can go home again." said the widow.
 I'll be hanged if I don't"
 And he did. Five minutes later both parties were sorry, but the deed was done There was a quarrel on between them, and as each knew the others ob- stinancy there wasn't much hope for a reconciliation. The deacon shouldn't have started off, and the widow should have called him back when he had reached the gate, but things went as they went. During the ! next month the deacon kept scrupulously on his side of the fence. When he passed the | widows house, which was about six times day he looked straight ahead and didn't seem to remember that she was on earth. He also did considerable talking in the grocery store and down at the sawmill woman with proper pride is helpless in such a case. She can only wait, While Mrs Spooner regretted her hasty words she wouldn't take back one of them. As she thought the matter over she gave her head a toss and said to herself: