Evening journal., 1907-04-04
MR.. JOHNSON'S
RETIRING ADDRESS
Comedy and PathOS, Wit and
Wisdom Mark interesting
Speech

made a brilliant address at tie ban
quet given in his honor b. his former
colleagues on Tuesday evening. which
brought FORTH many expressions OF APP
provl and much applause.
Brmful of hunor ana good solid
wisdom the address @ published in
full:
'Mr. Tcasimlster ana Gentlemen:
zone day carly In January OF 1902, the
then mayor Of this city found me IN
pursuit OF my business ON the third
floor OF new building in seventh
street. near Tatnail street.
"He informed me that two of the
directors of the street and Sewer Board
had resigned and asked me to accept
one OF the places made vacant. With
some hesitancy. even after ! had been
convinced hy some OF my supposed
friends that / had been made TO order
for the position ! accepted furnished
bond and entered upon the duties.
but it did nor take me long, how
ever. to discover that even things made
90 order are sometimes a mlsht. Mem
bership On the Board OF Directors of
the Street ana Sewer Department. is q
sure cure for that mental trouble vul-
gariy known as "swelled mead"
"a six months service on this board
viii usually cure an ordinary case, but
the most obstinate case can be per-
manently cured IN a twelve months.
Physicians tell us that diseases Of
| long stand.ng so entrenrh themselves
that it becomes difficult to dislodge and
! entirely eradicate them without long
treatment. But the specific J offer for
this particular complaint, no matter
how long standing, 1 win warrant TO
cure for an time IN one year. and the
treatment need not very much inter-
fere with ones usual occupation In
this time he win discover that he is
cne OF three that knows the least OF
an men. especially abour directing the
affairs of the city entrusted to his care
and oversight.
The labors Of a director might not be
so strenuous if'her We're a Philosopher
/ Of the Ford type. In illustration, a
certain Mr. Forl had the reputation of
/ running "A hotel over in New York and
he considered It one Of the easiest
| things real or imaginable, in fact a
real cinch said he. ali one has TO
! do Is TO secure and furnish a hotel and
| the boarders will furnish fun informa-
tion how to run it, and even give points
about how TO furnish Il. And just so,
! gentlemen. you need not take any
thought or worry about what to do nor
how to do Il Gin this 9 spartmenD, this
! information VIE be generously volun-
teered.
THE gentlemen who have served on
this board know Of the huge chunks of
wisdom that are to be met with every
where, at every turn the atmosphere
seems filled with them, they take on
the size, but are not quite as dangerous
as the icobergs that have broken loose
from their moorings and persist in get
ting in the way OF navigator.
Il encountersl one Of these noun
tains of wisdom a few weeks ago ir
an unexpected place. u came floating
In from the sea Of the General Assem-
bly, of Delaware. II came upon me Sc
suddenly and was so overwhelming ia
SIZE that 1 was almost dumbfounded
This statesman gave me, with the ain
Of authority, the disease and remedy
In one Dose We are suffering he
pointed out from depressions in oui
streets where trenches have been mad,
for sewer and pipe connections. be.
cause the repaving has not been ex.
tended beyond the trench line, if q
had been so extended the trench woult
not settle. Strange indeed that thosl
I'm charge of this work have neve
thought Of this very simple remedy
Now Mr.. Street Commissioner I hope
YOU viii profit by this new and origina
suggestion. Have your excavation.
hllsd with mud or wind. as may b.
convenient but he sure 10 extend you
paving outside its lines If you wisl
to avoid depressions in your streets
1T requires a grelt deal Of grace
patience and 70. bearan-e to listen Z
the kind Of wisdom AMI advice that Il
being continually poured INTO the ear
Of the directors Of this board and seem
rather strange that no director has yo
served that could DO the right thinl
at the right time in the right way.
But prohting by the failures of hi
predecessors have no doubt that on
pres mt mayor has improved upon tn
work Of the others and selected a gen
tleman that will be able to meet all Il,
requirements OF the position and Civ
great pleasure 20 the citizens. w
msy expect that college bred athlete
viii supplant ,he colorel genueme
that now wrestle with the ash barrels
boxes and cans, shat they viii be uni
formed i'm costumes suitable TO after
dinner occasions. and II perchance
recalcitrant ash lake should escap
captivity It viii be chased until cap
tured and returned to It's proper place
and an replies to the questions OF IN
good housewife win be c0uched I'm sue
terms Of pure and polished English a
shall not only be pleasing. but irresis
tible and captivating. Then Will we a
fee sure the millennium has arrived.
Il was up i'm Montreal, Canada, som
thing more than year ago. and pas
sing along one Of its streets I notice
q little engine standing along the cur
industriously at work. with rubbe
tuhes leading from II into a churcl
1 followed those tubes into the build
ing ANA found them just as Industrious
ly at work. sucking the dust from III
cushions and floor end dcposting
In a receptacle outside. Now we al
expecting this principle 20 be apple
to our streets and all their dust take
through tubes to tho Delaware rye
there submerged. made into paste ON
all the microbes drowned.
when these two reforms are az
complished I win endeavor to sugge.
others for your consideration.
But gentleren. there is serious wor
ahead when ! came into this depar
ment I found it without means 10 pror
erly carry on its work. and along IN
line II has held its own Splendid,y.