davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1907-11-10
REMINDING THE BURGLAR.

Jones was very courageous man.
and when, one stormy night, he heard
mysterious noises in his house at Rya-
der, he took a revolver and decided
thoroughly to explore the place On
reaching the hall the light from his
candle disclosed to view typical Bill
Sykes, laden with a bullying sack, and
just on the point of letting himself out.
"Hallo!'' cried Jones. Come back,
YOU"
Whats that?" said the burglar.
"Ah, yes. the silver candlestick, Per-
NIT mel" CTakes it from the hand of
the astonished Jones, and puts it into
his bag.) Ten thousand thanksi
Have l forgotten anything else ~
Penny Pictorial.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1907-11-10
THE HOME TEAM.

When Mr.. Jones's seventh son Wa,
born. there was great rejoicing. Two
or three days after the event one of
the neighbors meeting Tommy, the
eldest son, asked if he were not sorry
that his baby brother was not a baby
sister.
Tommy shook his head
mo, ma'am, not met" he replied
with great decision. ~ see we're
tryin' for a baseball nine Every
body's Magazine.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1907-11-10
A SCHOLARLY WIT.

The quick mind of the late Dr. Haig-
Brown. master of the famous Charter
house school in London. was ever
ready to seize upon an absurdity and
give it a witty turn
a fond parent once wrote asking hin,
to inter her son at Charterhouse.
Dear Madam" he wrote back. IT
shall be most happy to undertake YOUR
son. ''-London Telegraph.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1907-11-10
HIS BUSINESS.

a Boston lawyer who brought his
wit from his native Dublin, while
cross-examining the plaintiff in a d.
vorce trial, brought forth the follow
ing:
You wish to divorce this woman
because she drinks?"
Yes, sir"
do you drink yourself?'
That's my business!' (angriIy).
Whereupon the unmoved lawyer ask
ed: Have you any other business ?''-
Everybody's.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1907-11-10

have become hard-expenses must be
reduced-1 regret it, but you will have
to CO.
The old clerks jaw fell
why he stammered piteously,
why, when 1 started to work here
was told the job was regular
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1907-11-10

StrOlling into a grocer's shop tn.
other day. a little boy asked for half
pound of margarine He was being
served, and the shopman was about to
wrap the margarine up in paper when
the lad exclaimed: please. sir. nv
muver wants to know if yer'rl stamp a
COW on it. cos were having cump'ny.'
London Farm and Home.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1907-11-10
NO NATURE FAKE ABOUT THIS

NO NATURE FAKE ABOUT THIS.
The alleged case of a bird making a
splint for its broken leg is no more
wonderful than this:
A Welsh rabbit. about to be devoured
by an enemy. made itself stringy and
tied the strings to a plate, fork, and
toast in a brave effort to keep from
being dragged to it's DOOM
l saw this with my own eyes, but
refrain from giving my right name for
fear of drawing upon me displeasure-
Herald and Presbyter.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1907-11-10

The following advertisement is pub
iished in the Kreisblatt. newspaper
published at Hoechst, near Wiesbaden:
can any one favor me with the names
OF the balloOnists who. when pass ne
over the village of Ried last Thursda>
evening, dropt bag of ballast down
my chimney. and completely ruined a
fruit-tart which I was cooking Julia
Schmidt Il. Britzelgasse. -Ried.''
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1907-11-10

When mother boxes Mary's ears,
She stands in tears and blubbers;
o foolish Oh Id. to stand in tears
Without pair of rubbers.
-Harper's Magazin
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1907-11-10

tinuous stream of that strength building nervefea
ing force which is the basis of all health Eleetra.
Nisor IS not electric belt-there is no chargi 8
1o-no vinegar or acid solutions TO bother with
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1907-11-10
How Drugs Wreck the Ner,

Every dose of drugs that YOU put into your stoma b
weakens your nerves. Every time you kill pain or
an ache by unnatural means-by stupefying
with poisonous drugs, you hurting Them and any
one can see that in time by steady dosing your
nervous system viii be broken down comnletelv
The new era. (Walden, Colo.) 1906-19??, 1907-11-21
Boulder Murder Trial.

Boulder.-Giving In minute detail
the story of events eliminating in the
fire and explosion that wrecked the
Colorado & Southern freight depot at
Boulder and cost the lives OF four per-
sons last August, the confession Of j..
W Reeve was read to the jury We'd
nesday.
Drink-drink-drlnk is the
burden of the greater portion OF the
statement. Toindulgencei in intoxicants
the accused man lays the responsible
ity for that night of mad intoxication
and mad destruction.
With brains numbed and passions
inflamed by the fumes of liquor, &C
cording to the confession, two men de-
termined to start fire that would de-
stroy the railroads property, regard
less of danger to human life.
~ did not know the dynamite was
there" says Reeve. when l heard
the sound Of the explosion l wanted
to die"
Letters written by the prisoner
while in Jail, stating that he expected
a term in prison and preaching the
pathetically tragic lesson drawn from
his own example, were also read to
the Jury. while some of those who
crowded the court room at Boulder
Joined the defendant in tears, theirs
of sad sympathy. his Of bitter re-
morse
The new era. (Walden, Colo.) 1906-19??, 1907-11-21
A sllaht Difference.

"My dear" said gentleman to his
wife. where did all those books on
astronomy on the library table come
from? They are not ours"
"a pleasant little surprise for you"
responded the lady. You know. you
said this morning that we ought to
study astronomy, so went to book
store and bought everything could
find on the subject"
1t was some minutes before he
spoke.
my DEAR" he then said. slowly. his
voice husky with emotion. II never
said we must study astronomy. said
we must study economy"
The new era. (Walden, Colo.) 1906-19??, 1907-11-21
THE FACULTIES OF JUSTICE.
Blind, Perhaps, But No Reasonable
Proof Of Deafness Also.

Judge Harlan, who lives up on the
hill, was a passenger on a Fourteenth
street car the other day and was seat
ed next to couple of clerks who were
deeply interested in some discussion,
which caused one of them to raise his
voice to quite high pitch, says the
Washington Star. This appeared to
make the other man rather cautious,
as he glanced warily around to see
II any one was listening to the talk
Of his friend. At this moment he dis
covered the presence of the digniaed
justice and turning hastily to his loud
talking comrade, he said: For
heavens sake. lower your voice; you
may have heard that justice is blind
but that doesn't necessarily mean
that it's deaf Also" Whether Judge
Harlan heard the remark 1t Is Inn
possible to state, yet, all the same, a
calm smile fitted over his face at
the conclusion of the young fellows
admonitiop to his friend.
The new era. (Walden, Colo.) 1906-19??, 1907-11-21
Carefully Compromised.

Father is in perfectly lovely
mood" remarked Clarice. Don't you
think you had better ask him this
evening""
Suppose you ask him?" suggested
Clarence.
"Oh. can't" protested the girl.
I'm too shy"
You ask him just this one time,"
pleaded Clarence. 81 promise you
that in the future I'll ask him, no mat
ter how shy l am."-Judge.
The new era. (Walden, Colo.) 1906-19??, 1907-11-21
Saying "HeIIo" to Heart rhrob..


1T 10 curious thing" said a prom
inent lecturer recently. how some
books have a strong radiating person
ality. so that you feel like saying
'Howdy every time you come across
them. Last Christmas visited friends
back at the old home on the farm.
When the supper dishes had been put
away, the chores done and the evening
lamp lighted we gathered beside the
organ for good old fashioned sing
On the center table were strewn the
Christmas remembrances taken from
Christmas tree on the evening before.
CHANGING over them l suddenly ex-
claimed Hello! my good friend,
Hello!' and as the others looked up
with surprise. picked up a copy Of
Heart Throbs' and read to them from
its pages the piece spoke in
school 40 years ago.
THAT was enough to set in motion
the friendly entertaining spirit Of
Heart Throbs, and the music was for.
gotten as we took turns reading the
humorous and pathetic bits of prose
and verse that have been preserved
in this wonderful volume. Some books
have great literary value, some have
historical significance. but Heart
Throbs is the only book l know that
slaps you on the back in a friendly
sort of way, suiting itself to your
moods and proving faithful to every
emotion. Next to my love of the Bible
I love Heart Throbs 1t is the most
notable book of the times"
The new era. (Walden, Colo.) 1906-19??, 1907-11-21
shy One Fare.

Inspector johnson, OF the Columbus
Railway company. tells the following
story Of one Of his new conductors:
The inspector had boarded car on
one Of the East Side lines and glanc-
ing at the register. noticed that there
were nine passengers on and only
eight fares. He touched the conductor
on the shoulder, green man from
the country, and said:
"You are shy one fare. There arc
nine people on the car and only eight
fares collected"
"By gosh" said the conductor.
"that's right" and hastily grabbing the
bell cord, he stopped the car and yell
ing at the passengers ordered one of
them to git OF" Columbus Despatch.
The new era. (Walden, Colo.) 1906-19??, 1907-11-21
500 Reward, 500.

The readers of this paper will be pleased to learn
that there At dreaded disease that science
has been able to in all its stages, and that Is
Catarrh. Hairs Catarrh Cure Is the only positive
cure now known to the medical fraternity. Catarrh
being constitutional disease requires u constitu.
tional treatment. Halls Catarrh Cure 10 taken In
ternaly, acting directly upon the blood and mucous
surfaces Of the system. thereby destroying the
foundation of the disease. and giving the patient
strength by building up the constitution aud assist
ing nature in doing its work. The proprietors have
80 much faith IN its curative powers that they offer
One Hundred Dollars for any that 1t falls to
cure. Send for list of testimonials.
Address F. j. CHENEY q CO., Toledo. o.
Sold by all Druggists. 15c.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
The new era. (Walden, Colo.) 1906-19??, 1907-11-21
santo. Dumont's Latest.

Paris.-M. Santos,Dumont has just
completed the construction of new
aeroplane on principle different from
that previously employed by him. The
new machine is shaped like butter
fy. The trials already held. when it
was towed by an automobile, have
been successful. The engine will be
Installed and the new machine launch
ed as soon as the weather permits.
The new era. (Walden, Colo.) 1906-19??, 1907-11-21
Prohibition Bill.

Montgomery, Ala.-Securing the
necessary two-thiIds vote of the mem
bers present, the house of reDresen
tatives Wednesday passed the state
prohibition bill, introduced by Speaker
Carmichael, by vote of GO to rs.
Hundreds of women spent the entire
day at the capitol. The bill prohibits
the sale or giving away of tntoxicat
ing liquors after October l, 1908
The new era. (Walden, Colo.) 1906-19??, 1907-11-21

down pains and the kidney secretions
were much disordered. I thought
would not live long, but since using
Doan's Kidney Pills am different
woman. can do my own work and have
NO fear Of those troubles returning.
Sold by all druggists. so cents
boz. Eoster-Milburn Co., Buffalo. N. 7.
The new era. (Walden, Colo.) 1906-19??, 1907-11-21
TIED TO A CHAIR.
Unable to Move About On Account
Of Kidney Troubles.
Mrs. Anna Beebe. River and Monroe
Ots., Anoka. MIMI. says: II had to

sit in q chair day
after day unable to
move about on &C
count of rheumatic
pains in my back,
hips and legs. l was
short of breath and
my heart would nut
ter after the least
exertion. I had dizzy
spells and bearing
The new era. (Walden, Colo.) 1906-19??, 1907-11-21

FITS, st. Vitus Dance and all Nervous
Diseases permanently cured by DIR. klines
Great Nerve Restorer. Send for Free 500
trial bottle and treatise. DR.. R. IL. Kline,
Id, 93l Arch St., Philadelphia, Pa.
The new era. (Walden, Colo.) 1906-19??, 1907-11-21

cures made by DIR.
Kilmer's Swamp
Root, the great kid
ney, liver and blad-
der remedy.
1t is the great med
ical triumph of the
nineteenth century |;
discovered after years
of scientific research
by DR.. kilmer, the
eminent kidney and
The new era. (Walden, Colo.) 1906-19??, 1907-11-21
Cordially,
John w. Pritchard, Pres.
Brooklyn, N. Y, Oct. 1, 1907.

Brooklyn, N. Y, Oct. 1, 1907.
Dear Mr.. Pritchard:
Noticing Postum Food Coffee adver-
tised each week in your reliable pa
per, l concluded to try 1t. and feeling
1t a duty towards those who may have
suffered as l have from indigestion,
desire to state what wonderful bene-
fit 1 have received from Postum al
though using only a short time, and
not do. / alone realize and appreciate
its good effects, but friends remark,
"How much I have improved and how
we'll look, and tell the facts about
Postum every time, for since using
1t have not had one attack of indi-
gestion. 1t is invigorating, healthful;
does not affect the nerves as ordinary
coffee, and If properly made, most
delicious drink. Although I have not
had much faith in general advertis-
ing, yet, finding Postum has done so
much better for me than 1 expected
am more inclined to prove all things,
hold fast that which is good" l am
SO thankful for good health that l
want 1t known what blessing Pos
tum has been to me. You may use
these few lines as an ad. If you so de-
sire and my name also.
Very truly yours,
Anna 8. Reeves.
The new era. (Walden, Colo.) 1906-19??, 1907-11-21
Those Railway croaker

Those Railway croakers.
Eyes. that's the great railway man."
'Why does he look so gloomy?"
Hes trying to make himself think
that hard times are coming.
land Plain Dealer.
The new era. (Walden, Colo.) 1906-19??, 1907-11-21

Some Philippine cigars are foot
and q half in length.
The new era. (Walden, Colo.) 1906-19??, 1907-11-21
Asthmatlcs, Read This.

Aothmatfcs, Read This.
II you are afflicted with Asthma
write me at once and learn Of some
thing for which you will be grateful
the rest of your life. Rev. ]. R. RAIDER.
s22 Broadway. Denver, Colo.
The new era. (Walden, Colo.) 1906-19??, 1907-11-21

bladder specialist, and is wonderfully
successful in promptly curing lame back,
uric acid, catarrh of the bladder and
Bright's Disease, which is the worst
form of kidney trouble.
DR.. Kilmers Swamp-Root is not rec
commended for everything but if you have
kidney, liver or bladder trouble it will be
found just the remedy you need. 1t has
been tested i'll so many ways, i'll hospital
work and in private practice, and has
proved so successful i'll every case that 4
special arrangement has been made by
which all readers of this paper, who have
not already tried it, may have sample
bottle sent free by mail, also a book tell
ing more about Swamp-Root, and how to
find out if you have kidney or bladder trou-
Bile. When writing mention reading this
generous offer in this paper and send your
j: 81 =: : ; $ e: ; :'$::
6fty-cent and one $50
dollar size bottles are home of swamp-Roos.
sold by all good druggists. Don't make
any mistake, but remember the name,
Swamp-Root, DR.. Kilmer's Swanlp-Rcot,
and the address, Binghamton, N. Y, on
every bottle.
The new era. (Walden, Colo.) 1906-19??, 1907-11-21

275 McDonough St., Brooklyn.
Coffee hurt her. she quit and used
Postum. She didn't attempt to an
alyze but she enjoyed the results. Un-
derneath it all "Theres Reason"
POSTUM CEREAL CO.. LTD.
The new era. (Walden, Colo.) 1906-19??, 1907-11-21
About All That Is In II.

First Employer-What do you think
is in this war against the feminine en-
ployes' pompadours?
Second Ditto.-Rats!
The new era. (Walden, Colo.) 1906-19??, 1907-11-21
DO YOU GET UP
WITH A LAME BACK?

Kidney Trouble Makes You Miserable.
Almost everybody who reads the news
papers is SUI to know of the wonderful
The new era. (Walden, Colo.) 1906-19??, 1907-11-21
TO PRETENDERs.
A Wholesome Word for Guidance.

Just a word to you, Golfers" and
other glazing examples Of Modern
Yellow Journalism and Cigarettes.
Environment gives you a viewpoint
from which it is difficult to under
stand that some people even nova
days act from motives of old fashion
ed honesty.
There are honest makers Of foods
and healthful beverages and there are
honest people who use them.
Perhaps you are trained to believe
there is no honesty in this world.
There is, although you may not be
of kind to understand it.
Some Of you have been trained in a
sorry class of pretenders. but your
training does not faint the old fashion
ed person trained without knowledge
of pretense and deceit.
These letters came to us absolutely
without solicitation. We have a great
many thousand from people who have
been helped or entirely healed by fol-
lowing the suggestions to quit the
food or drink which may be causing
the physical complaints and change
to Postum Coffee or Grape-Nuts food.
You are not intelligent enough to
know the technical reasons why the
change makes a change in the cells
of the body Your knowledge, or lack
of knowledge, makes not the slightest
difference in the facts.
You can print from old and worn
plates all the cheap books your
presses will produce and sell them as
best you can, but such acts and your
Learned" editorials are but CONNER
cial, and seek only dollars" and much
by pretence.
When you branch out into food
values you become only ridiculous.
Stick to what you know. The field
may be small but it is safe.
This first letter is from the Presi-
dent of the christian Nation. a
worthy Christian paper of New York.
New York. Oct. 2, 1907.
Postum Cereal Co., Ltd,
Battle Creek, Mich.
Dear Sirs.
The new era. (Walden, Colo.) 1906-19??, 1907-11-21
Dear Sirs:

Dear Sirs:
I am, this morning. in receipt of the
enclosed mighty good letter from one
of my subscribers, which 1 forward to
you, and which 1 am sure you will be
glad to use. am personally acquaint-
ed with this lady, and know that she
has no object in writing, other than
to do good.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1907-08-08
FOR SALE

For Sale-Good driving and work
ing horse about years old, weight
about 1850. Also rubber tire
buggy and single harness both
new. 1889 Asylum Ave. S-6-1w"
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1907-08-08

To the Coast.--Good teams and COW
cred hacks for taking camping
parties to the coast and mountains.
Terms reasonable. 10. NJ. Acker-
man, 115 Miller street. Salem.
8-2-1ms
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1907-08-08

LADIES' have opened a
parlor at 464 Court street. In the
/. o. o. F. building. where ! am
prepared TO do shampooing and
manicuring. Scalp treatment a
speciality. Children's hair treated
Phone ATT. 7-291ms
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1907-08-08
SUCCESSFUL WOOL SEASON.
Oregon's Product for This Year Is
2O,OOO,OOO Pounds.

The woolgrowerss of oregon, in
the season now drawing to a close
have enjoyed more than their usual
share of prosperity, in fact, the year
has probably been the best in the
history OF the industry of the state.
Prices have never been so high since
the present range conditions existed,
and compared with late years, the
cost OF production has been less.
The total clip of oregon this year
10 estimated at 20,000,O00 pounds.
Last year the sheep produced about
100000 pounds.
The value OF the 1907 clip is ap-
proximately s3,s0O,00O. AS a wealth
producer It exceeded that of the
previous year by abou s560,o00.
Besides the eastern money the
wool has brought into the state,
there have been enormous shipments
OF sheep TO other sections and many
more trainloads will be despatched
before the winter season comes.
Wool men estimate that not to ex-
ceed 100000 pounds OF wool re-
main unsold in Oregon and Wash
ington, about half OF which is south
OF the Columbia river. Twice as
much was unsold in Oregon at this
date last year. AS but little was
contracted In the state in the pres
ent year, II will be seen that the sea-
son, after It once opened, was a de-
cidelly active one. Nearly all of the
wool bought has been by this time
sent on its way TO the eastern
markets and mills. Railroad facili-
ties were good. as they usually are
during the wool shipping period.
The general run of eastern Ore
gon shipping woods sold this year at
from Is to 20 cents, while last year
the average price was about IS cents.
Heavy shrinking securing woods
brought generally from IA to II
cents. The top prices paid were %
cents at Pendleton and 21% cents at
Shaniko. Last season the best
shaniko clip brought 2SA cents.
There are other instances where in
diyidual clips did not realize as
much as a year ago. but on the aver
age the price paid was about cent
better.
Experts have declared that the
! 1907 Oregon woods are inferior in
quality to the 1905 clip. One au-
thority estimates that the intrinsic
value of the product this year is / u
cents less than that of year ago.
The woods have run lighter due to a
variety of causes. the bad winter,
poor feed last fall and the damp
spring. There was not so much
taple and more clothing stock.
Blue Mountain Eagle.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1907-08-08
The M0desty OF Women

Naturally makes them shrink from the
indelicate questions, the obnoxious ex-
aminatioDs, and unpleasant local treat
ments, which some physicians consider
essential In the treatment Of diseases OF
women. Yet, II help can be had, IL is
better to submit to this ordeal than let
the disease grow and spread. The trouble
Is that so often the woman undergoes all
the Annoyance and shame for nothing.
Thousands \Qf women who have been
cured M DR.. Perce's Favorito Prescrlp-
tion writN in appreciation OF the cure
which dlspSplSes Nv(tl the examinations
and local treatmentssS There Is no other
medicine sc sure and -sais- -inr- -delica;s
women as "E'av~-';t arsse, ,.ption,- il
cures de6TIT rSs'Ss 'Ir...S, iTTeg6laTity ana
female wea-ness. 1t always helps. II
almost always cures. 1t is strictly non.
alcoholic, non secret, all its ingredients
being printed on its bottle-wrapper; con.
tains no deleterious or habit-furming
drugs, and every native medicinal root
entering into its composition has the full
endorsement OF those most eminent In the
several schools of medical practice. Some
OF these numerous and strongest Of pro-
fessional endorsements of its ingredients,
will be found in a pamphlet wrapped
around the bottle, also in booklet mailed
free on request, by Dr. r. V. Pierce, OF
Buffalo, N. Y. These professional en-
dorsements should have far more weight
than any amount OF the ordinary lay, or
non-professipnal testimonials.
The most intelligent women nowadays
insist on knowing what they take as med.
icine instead OF opening their mouths ike
q lot OF young birds and gulping down
whatever is offered them. rFavorite Pre-
scription is of KNOWN COMPOSITION. 1t
makes weak women strong and sick
women well.
DIR. Pierce's Medical Adviser is sent free
on receipt OF stamps 10 pay expense OF
mailing onlu Send 10 DR.. r. V. Pierce,
Buffalo, N. Y, 81 one-cent stamps for pa
per covered, or 81 stamps for cloth-bound.
II sick consult the Doctor, free OF charge
by, letter. All such communications are
held sacredly confidential.
DIR. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets invigorats
and regulate stomach. liver and bow els