Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1907-06-27
JUNE ab 1907.
A Chapter of Chronicles.

1t came to pass in the days when Roosevelt,
the Strenuous, was chief ruler in the land and
Hoch, the Timber, was ruler in the Province
called Kansas, and Dick, the Farmer, was
Judge in the land of the Fowlerites and
Stamper, the Pious, was chief judge in the
Baili~ick of Meade Center;
1t came to pass even in those days, Sui
iivan, the Scribe, being Prosecutor in Meade,
and all the country round about, that certain
Fowlerites, sons of BelIel, called booze
fighters, were wont to send unto the country
of the Pukes, for certain spurious. matted,
and vinious liquors, called in the vulgar
tongues, booze tie which it was not lawful in
the Province of Kansas, in those days, to offer
for sale, sell, or give away, except by certain
persons called druggists whenlicensed thereto
by the Probate Court of the County. Now
when these Fowlerites called booze fighters,
received the said liquors it came to pass that
they drank of the same, and became drunken
on the streets of the city of Fowler, and did
boot, howl, fight and insult peaceable citizens,
and fight among them selves, and in other and
divers ways disturb the quiet, and to annoy
the peaceable people of the Fowlerites;
So the people who wished to have
beautiful city and one where the youth of the
land would come to get learning in the Col
lege built by the society of the Christians,
called Friends, and spend their sheckles for
vctuals, and lodging with the Fowlerites,
even the same gathered themselves together
and took counsel, even of the prosecutor
called Sullivan took they counsel. And
they SAID unto Sullivan, See: these sons of
Belief make of our city laughing stock, and
behold the men of the far east came with
gold to buy real estate in the land, and to
make homes for themselves among US, when
the men of the east see these booze fighters,
that they fear not God, neither respect they
man, nor the laws which our rulers have made
but before the sun and in the light of day
make monkeys of themselves. aid disgrace our
city, then the men of the east buckle up their
purses, and holding tight to their sheckles,
they grid up their loins, shake the dust from
their feet, and say unto US, '.we will not buy
your lands, neither will we bring our wives
and innocent children among you, to see the
shame which you put upon your city, for we
will not have them learn your ways" there
fore, o. Sullivan, scribe, help US and advise
us how we may make our town respected
even as Leavenworth, and Wichita. And
Sullivan the scribe, spake unto the men of
Fowler, saying yea even so, il is possible; do
as say unto you; when the booze cometh to
the depot, even in that instant, let your
Judge even Dick the farmer, send Nett his
chief executioner, and lay hands on the said
booze and bring It even into his court, and set
laws of the land, and in that self same day
will be here, and with me shall be Griggs.
called Fuzzywuzzy, for he is a man learned
in the law and he fears neither the booze
makers, nor the booze fighters, and we, even
we, will put in motion the machinery of the
law and it shall smash all of the booze, see
have told you, SO do.
Not many days after; it was said to Judge
Dick, behold there is booze in the depot, and
Judge Dick, said unto his chief officer Nett,
see: there is booze in the depot, 60 thou,
therefore, and bring it hither to me, even into
my court. Then went Nett, and laid hands
on the booze and took it to the court of Judge
Dick, and the Judge set day when it should
be tried whether it was in the depot lawfully
or not.
And on the day appointed came Sullivan,
the scribe, and Griggs, called Fuzsywuzzy,
also came into court Bodle, called TomPky,
the first two came to plead the cause of the
Province, against the booze, and the last
came to plead the cause of the Express Co.
for he was lawyer of ability, and it was
legal for him to plead for his client who
could pay his fee. and besides he respected
not the sons, neither cared he for the waillng
of the mothers. And Judge Dick, heard the
evidence and the pleadings of the pleaders,
then said Judge Dick, unto his officer, even to
Nett the executioner, this stuff was in the
depot contrary to law and without protection
of the statute, take it hence and destroy it.
Then up spake Bodle the lawyer, and said,
behold u Judge, appeal from thy decision,
and have here the bond, but while the court
inspected the bond, behold the officer had
smashed the booze! And there was weeping
and wailing and crashing of teeth, for behold
the drouth was then grievous! Again it was
told to Judge Dick the Farmer, see: there is
much booze in the drug store of one Robin
son, and this Robinson has not a permit tc
sell the same as If is written in our laws thai
he should have, and Judge Dick, called hi.
officer Nett and said unto him, see: there is
booze in the drug store of one Robinson,
within our jurisdiction, and have examined
and this Robinson has not permit, to sell
son and his brother and also on the booze
and bring them into my court. And the
officer even Nett, went and laid hands on
Robinson and on his brother and on the booze
and brought them into court. Then said the
Judge to Robinson and to his brother see on
such day will hear this cause. be you
here and in the mean time give bond thai
you will be here for trial; and they gave the
bond and departed. Then on a day came
booze to the depot in Fowler, and certain OF
the booze lighters were with a conveyance
called dray onto which they loaded the
hooze, and got up beside it, for they loved it,
and were very proud of the degree to which
they had sunk below their fellow citizens, fol
so If is with the booze fighters.
Then was the dray driven up into the main
part of The city of the Fowlerites, where all
of the Fowlerites, they their suns and their
daughters could see, and behold. the pace
vas in funeral time, then shouted the booze
flrhters to many men. and in the hearing of